20 Episode results for "tika Sumpter"

Introducing The Suga

Issa Rae Presents...FRUIT

06:01 min | 8 months ago

Introducing The Suga

"Hey listeners we want to introduce you to a new show called the sugar. It's a weekly show hosted by actress. Tika sumpter who you may have seen are mixed ISH IN MEDIA EXOTIC. Tie Randolph. She's Tope Google. The sugar was created for mom's on tees and those who may be undecided right now to unwind and be candid about this journey. Call Motherhood so get ready to laugh a little and maybe even cry but one thing's for sure instead of spilling tee. We'll be sharing the sugar. And what exactly does that mean? Well you'll be hearing stories other MOMS about their experiences with things like nursing potty training mommy guilt and so much more. The sugar is a show by for and about black and Brown Mama's but before we get into this preview search for the sugar now on your podcast APP and check out the first episode. And while you're at it be sure to subscribe for favorite so you don't miss an episode now. Here's that preview. Enjoy the sugar is a place for MOMS. Moms to be the undecided Aunties to talk all things motherhood We get the opportunity to speak about things that a lot of the Times. We're left out of the conversation whether it's via mental health and also indulge in the joys of motherhood and being where we are and and speaking on that it's you know potty training to talking back to how we are changing the the story of how we raise our kids and this is a place where you know when I first brought this idea to tie and cultivated it with her to become a bigger part of another part of what we're doing. Which is Sugar Berry? I was pregnant with Ella. Who's now three? But she was in my belly and I was searching for a community. I was searching for products. I was searching for other people. Look like me and had fibroids in that. I wanted to talk about and understand Struggled with as well so this is a place of love laughter Understanding and also getting a lot of Resources and advice practical advice for US I think as black women. There's so many parts of our journey and particularly our journey to motherhood that we have to package up. Put a bow on. And it's about strain and being a superwoman. Doing it all and I really wanted a place where we could actually unpack all that and be really real with each other and delicate You know are broader mission. Sugar Berry is to be a brown. Mama's guide to the sweet life we think You know we deserve to indulge too and to be vulnerable and to be light hearted You know to find the best resources for ourselves and our little ones. And that's what this is about and so. I'm excited to share to share in the sugar and the sweetness But also to really be real. I remember going through. Ivf myself and thinking. This is the loneliest place. I've got a broken body is so tough to navigate. And what's funny? Is the minute that I started talking about at the minute that I talked about it at work or with girlfriends you find out. Everyone's going through the same thing or some variation of the experience or have experienced Some areas of doubt or frustration. But no-one is having that exchange. Yep so I I feel like when we're really honest about what our experiences are. It gives everyone else permission to do. So nobody's getting a gold medal at the end for saying you did it all by yourself right. That's no one even knows it? Can I say you don't get a gold medal for having a non epidurals pregnancy? Yes you don't get a gold medal for breastfeeding for two years. You don't get a gold medal for sleep not sleeping and being okay. You don't get a gold medal for anything right. There's no prize. If you want the epidurals get the epidurals bottle feed and bottle feed. But they're so much mom guilt that other moms give us. I got guilt guilted for having a C. Section that I could not control while months need to be careful. We have to do that. There's a thin line between advice in judgment right and so everyone doesn't need our two cents if you ha- if you WanNa know what I did great if you don't find but whatever you choose I'm sure your kids going to be okay if you're providing for them if they're safe if they're love there's a whole spectrum right answers exactly now it's time for our mommy mantra so we're excited to introduce the segment. Every week we will sign off or leave you with a mommy mantra and it's an affirmation or a bit of assurance just for MOMS something sweet to carry you through the week nabbed encouraging quote. Anything like that So I have one go ahead I'm allowed to make a big deal out of things that feel really big to me. that's from I think it's Amy Carly Atmosphere like sometimes people make The things that feel big to a small yet or that they don't matter like you have a good live and you don't need to complain about this or you don't need to even like saying complaining. 'cause you're talking about a situation and I think sometimes when you have or you don't have you can start feeling like well. Nobody wants to hear me or here. My little problem right. Your problems are big to you and I think it's okay to Say them out loud and they valid and people sometimes make them invalid because they're not big to them so I think it's I'm allowed to make a big deal out of things. I feel really big to me. I love that. It's similar to what my mom always says to me if it's real to you than it's real so it's okay to acknowledge it you don't have to qualify it. It's just. This is what I'm going through. Here's what it is yeah. I love that the sugar is out. Now listen on stitcher apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

gold medal Sugar Berry Tika sumpter Tie Randolph Mama Ella Amy Carly two years
Going Through It - Season 2 (Trailer)

Going Through It

02:52 min | 5 months ago

Going Through It - Season 2 (Trailer)

"Hey. It's me takes Clayton. HAVE COPS A lot of people over the years. You may have heard me Ho shells like another round or strong legends, and now I am bringing you season two of going through it. So. I'm militia Lennon a little secret. We've actually been working on this new season for almost a year, and we were going to put it out later on this fall, but due to everything, and you can't see me right now, but I'm gesturing, generally to everything happening outside of my window is really clear that we are all going through. It been going through it, and so we decided. Let's put the show up now. Of personally I have been going through a lot over the last couple few several years. There have been job changes. There's been mental health. Plans sexism racism classes. Do you know how it is? So I thought what if the governor some of my favorite favorite black with black women that? And get their advice on how to pick myself up and get to the joy, because they're still joy somewhere on this planet and we're GonNa. Find It. The the Carmen. Sandiego Diego's of black joy. I don't know. I talked phenomenal black women about times they push through moments. Moments where doors were slammed in their faces moments when they needed to hear it. Yes, but the universe was like. And they've pushed through exceeded any. So, that's what happens in this last year. Talking to black women about how they got through. Mike clean away. So. Many people got him for. You're wrong because they like. I Want Shiny. I want to sit up there. That's like but you but you know what can ever understand. All the things are confronted Ilhan Omar. I had to develop a strong sense of me in order to. And, not lose my smile. Tika sumpter. Black women are the spine of America the spine of civilization. We have carried so much on our shoulders, so knowing what our ancestors have done. It was like my body was like okay Tika Lesko. Also got his to amazing women like Meyer Bracken kill make good in so many other people in I cannot wait you the these conversations because girl. I've been going through it. I'm pretty sure you've been going through it. So maybe we can go wit together. Going through it season two brought to you by mill chip is coming to you. July fourteenth a male chip dot com forward slash presents or whatever you get your podcast. See you then.

Tika Lesko Clayton Lennon Ilhan Omar Tika sumpter Carmen Meyer Bracken Diego Mike America mill
An Update from Hillary and Introducing The Suga

The Longest Shortest Time

14:45 min | 3 months ago

An Update from Hillary and Introducing The Suga

"Hey. Everybody. Hillary here. It has been awhile right it's been a while since we last talked we dropped our last episode for this show back in December and I think it's fair to say the world has changed a lot since then I hope that you are all staying safe and keeping as saying as possible. And I thought that now would maybe be a good time to check in the end of summer and schools about to start whatever school is now and I wanted to tell you a little bit about what I've been up to and recommend another podcast to you. So what I've been up to you, I think it will not surprise you if you've listened to the show to know that one of my best tools as a parent I think is weirdness. Like when things are really hard, I've discovered that noticing absurdity or creating absurd moments can help inject a tiny bit of joy into my life and my family's life. So for example, we play a game that we call. What's that smell we blindfold each other and stick things under each other's noses and and try to guess what those things are and Another thing was we put on the first. Star Wars movie and my daughter hated it and one of the reasons she hated it was that she said she was getting sick of Luke Skywalker, always winding about his dad and wanted to know why he never talks about his mom which I thought was a very good observation. So at the beginning of the pandemic I was writing things down I was actually drawing them in a notebook just to like. Remind myself to have visual evidence that there were these. You know little moments of joy that I was noticing or creating. And if you WANNA check those out, I, posted them on Instagram you can find me on Instagram at this is Hillary Frank Also, you know these strategies that I'm talking about their weird parenting wins and you've heard me talk about that before I have a book called Weird Parenting Winds, which includes these fun nuggets of wisdom from many of you from longest shortest time listeners from all over the nation all over the. Globe in fact, and it turns out like a lot of these strategies are great for when you're cooped up with your kids, you'll get strategies on how to keep your kids entertained how to manage stress as a family So just want to remind you that weird parenting winds is still out there You can find it wherever books are sold and I hope you enjoy it, and if you come up with your own. I WanNa know about them because they make me. So happy just use the HASHTAG. Weird parenting winds on twitter or on Instagram, and I will find it. Also WanNa let you know I'm plugging away on a new project. It's going a little more slowly than I usually work because you know childcare and home schooling and all of that but I am so excited about this thing and I really hope to be able to share it with you in twenty twenty one. And if you want to be notified when it's ready, the best way to do that is to sign up for my newsletter just go to Hillary frank dot com and click the link on the top of that page that says I'm cooking up something new. I'll also have a link to that on my instagram, which again is this is Hillary Frank. In the meantime, I wanNA, recommend a podcast you and it's called the sugar. It's from stitcher and I'm GONNA play a preview for you in just a minute. So you can get a feel for the show. So the sugar is hosted by TIKA SUMPTER Anti Randolph. Tika is a model. You might know her from the hit show mixed ish or you might have seen her in a movie like Sonic. The hedgehog anti is an award winning business executive and she is one of the heads of Kevin. Hart Ll Network. Tika and ty created the Suga to serve as a brown mama's guide to the sweet life. It's made four and by modern black moms these women sound so warm and they'll make you laugh and cry and empathize. In every episode Tika in high invite women of color to talk about their perspectives on Motherhood, love and friendship and work and personal development. They've had women like Kelly Rowland on the show and Tia. Maori and they've got a ton of great topics and guests coming up this season. Okay. So here we go. I'm going to play this preview from the Suga. It's part of an in depth conversation that Tika and tie had with an oprah endorsed Dula named Lethem Thomas. So, we had a lot of conversations here about how black women and black moms in particular aren't necessarily a ever treated as vessels deserving keys or only looked at is given care and so I think even as you're about it, I gotta be honest when I the little that I knew about a Dula before coming into this felt like an indulgence, right that I kind of wasn't. Afford it for whatever reason not financially afford but it's like who's got time for that. So I do think that you know our community needs to be told like you actually deserves to. Yes a beautiful and very cater to experience as it pertains to birth I mean what are some of the misconceptions about do now that you are one witter some of those misconceptions that you just want to dispel for listeners I wanna come back to something that you said, which was deserve right that that we deserve it was like a mantra which you just share it because we do deserve and yes, we come from a legacy of people put their needs put everyone else's needs before their own and so it's in like it's like inside of us right to to look after everyone and especially black it's like imprinted and. And you know there is also this external mantra that we're strong and I am like using all of my power to be an softness you know and into the opposite of that so that I can maintain my wellbeing and so for us to know that, yes, you can sophon and you can lay your shoulders back and GonNa be there to hold you because we are holding the universe again by our frigging fingertips like black women are holding everything together right and so for us to know that you can actually slow down you can actually depend on this person to me the investment is worth it, and so you know as relates to kind of. Doing this working and being in this this space certainly from a lens of education because now I teach many more than I'm. Serving in terms of birds You know we're really here to to be advocates to speak to the issues that are happening in the world and be I think deeply connected to what's possible through change right? I think right now. During cove it was has been really interesting too is that dealers were forced out of the bills? Right and so can you imagine you know working with someone your entire pregnancy or most of your pregnancy and men being told a week before your birth or your proposed? Judeh that you could only come with your partner and the That could send right and so this happened safe you have apart, there's a partner and so that my. So things black people specifically, right like we go into hospitals there's always been a question of who can come right this always like we never know isn't to visitors is it like? So we see some families their whole family can be up in the room, but we can't bring our families and everybody knows that if I'm coming, we come in which means like right? So I'm on my way we on our way, right? We come we come like people comedy. It's like every night so so so that also like you know sort of on policing the family structure like designing policy and more how black and Brown families are configured, we're not just two people right sometimes your granny coming. Over sure your aunts years. Big Mama or is. Coming to pray over you, you cannot say that they come in the room. So right and there's no shame in that either because there is a shaming that happens if you're made to feel like your family structure is atypical law and I, think all of those things weather it's that we don't have the proper bursting team whether we have. You know what our family configuration is. Just, normal cases the the experience while there's a path to be very beautiful. It can also be very traumatic for some a lot of the times it as Lyndon no matter what socioeconomic you know you are at you be very traumatic. You were talking about how? You now teach more right. So how does somebody who? Maybe somebody's listening to this and is inspired and you know what does that take to like actually be get on the path to become actually do and how do you know if that is your calling and? What does that entail and what is that training tail? That's a beautiful question I guess before I talk about calling, it's important to like I guess distinguish between like passion and calling because I think people get passionate about stuff like there's like a flavor of the month is like I'm into this and you know whatever it is like blackness as a flavor of the month right now. So I'm hoping. I'm hoping. I'm hoping it lasts but. People Are you know like? So so people can be passionate about something which is usually connected to, and it's always connected to joy and something that brings us levity and and it's fine. But a calling is like a directive right is not your choice and it is now is fun to get up in the middle of the night at two in the morning and put your baby in a snowsuit and hail a cab and get dropped him off at his grandfather's house. We his next thing whatever he needs, and then get hail another cab in the snow which are boots wear and things in your face and having to pay cash and go get it from the ATM 'cause there's No. And then drive to a client who's in the middle of labor and be with him for seventeen hours. That is not a passion that is a calling right that makes you do that doesn't sound very. Glamorous right. So so that's It's a calling that makes you get up to do that right and so it's it's an obedience. It's an act of of showing up and listening to. Spirit that is whispering to you that that it's your turn and then you have to just go right and you can. You can avoid collingswood they just get louder right but I would say the path educationally is easy, right? It's not that difficult. So if you feel like you don't have to be call to do the work to become a Dula. Do it for your own educational journey you can want. To support your all the people in your family who may be going through the process, you can want to do it to support your friends. You want to do it because you're a major who studying public health or because you WANNA do policy work to protect black lives, you could do it to. You know you could do it also for for your own personal journey and healing around your birth experience which what we find for so many people they come to the work because they want to heal. So so irregardless of how you actually WanNa move forward in the work I think the education is so super important for all of us, but the way that we. Educate he is really truly a journey. It's really transformed a transformative journey that we take people on to to really is rooted in healing and it's rooted in self care and it's rooted in ending a lot of the messaging that we got early on about as not being worthy ty was talking about earlier. and. Then also being in dialogue with our own healing so that we can bring this to other people. So if you have a willingness to do that, then you can show up and be a Dula. Regardless of who you are and you can show up in you're interested in doing that work, and if you know how to listen right and listening is a very powerful. That is part of the delivering so more than being daunting in terms of education, it's such a it's such a fulfilling experience to go through that for many people I would say it's sworn joyful. That is like a challenge like if you haven't been to school for a long time and you're like I, don't know if I could get into like the education part and like be taking no. Because a lot of scared of that and I can tell you it is so life affirming that it doesn't feel like regular school we want to just say a big. Thank you I feel like my body mind and soul has. Just been uplifted and healed, and so many various ways in this conversation and I was such a healing. Healing I mean I I knew I looked forward to this but like It's just I I have. No, it's. The. Word. The words are gone but just thank you so much for making time making space holding space for us. They think you and speaking of continuing those conversations. I know you mentioned. Mama, glow. But where can everyone find you in all the places? Yes. So SO MELLOW DOT com. On instagram I'm glow me. Then Sheila W may be, and then we also have at Mama Glow. INSTAGRAM's people can go there and check Steph ow thank yearly we love you. Thank you. Thanks so much for listening to this preview. I. Hope you enjoyed it. It is easy to hear more just search for the sugar right now in your favorite podcast. APP and I hope to have more to share with you about what's going on with me soon stay safe and be well.

Instagram Dula Hillary Frank TIKA SUMPTER Suga ty Luke Skywalker Kelly Rowland Mama Glow twitter partner Hart Ll Network Randolph executive Dula Lyndon Sheila W Kevin
Nobody's Fool

Pop Culture Happy Hour

17:50 min | 2 years ago

Nobody's Fool

"Support for NPR and the following message. Come from the lag anita's brewing company, helping bands reach more ears through beers. Because the perfect soundtrack for music is a log Anita IP PA here. More at laga, nita's dot com. Nobody's Fool is Tyler Perry movie. But maybe more important at the moment. It's a Tiffany haddish movie. Haddish antique Assumpta star in a story of two sisters. How does place Tanya who gets out of prison only to find that? Her sister danika has a new boyfriend, but it's an online relationship and Tanya fears, but danika is being cats inched. I'm Steven Thompson. And I'm Linda Holmes today. We're talking about Nobody's Fool so come right back. Support for this NPR podcast and the following message. Come from wicks dot com a web platform for creating your own professional website with wicks, whether it's your first time, creating a website or you're a longtime pro you can do it yourself shoes from hundreds of stunning templates or start from scratch with a dragon dropped technology and powerful web features. Join over one hundred and twenty five million people already using wicks to create their own websites. Goto w I x dot com to create yours today. So what will you create welcome back? You just met NPR music. Stephen Thompson with us today are our friends Britney loose an Eric Eddings hosts of the podcast the night. I'd is hey now, I just wanna say Britney, and Eric specifically were interested in talking about the I think this is the first Tyler Perry movie that we have done on the show, which is rather shocking. So shame. It is a shame. Eric. Tell me what it was about this movie that you guys thought would be interesting to talk about whether a few things and one I just wanna know how excited we were. There were many exclamation points in the Email. But people like to give Tyler Perry. Hard time deserved. You know, if you're looking for an October. I don't know that he qualifies that said his movies are fun. So they're really really fun. They're gonna make you mad at points. You're going to be like I wish you wouldn't have done that. I wish you would actually like thought about this plot. He's also going to give you so many excuses sit there and laugh and just like have a bit of escapist fun. And just be like, oh, this makes no sense. I enjoyed it. How did you feel like Nobody's Fool fit into that expectation? I always say my expectations were a little higher because I think inch Tiffany haddish coming into raises the stakes I was really really excited because I think Tyler Perry. He's he's actually pretty good for writing like punchy jokes. Like, he's going to give you a few things that are going to legitimately just make you laugh and Tiffany haddish like that's hard lane. She's gonna have you falling out of your child laughing. So I was really really excited for this film in particular, also really liked tika Sumpter, Amari Hardwick, all the things would be you know, in in our horrible wig. Horrible horrible wig, but horrible wig, but great role for her. Yes. The trend of Tyler period, not making a great film but making an enjoyable one. I think holds up in this particular case, I enjoyed it a lot I had a lot of issues with it though. How about you Brittany? Would you think I think expectations were also similarly higher because of Tiffany haddish also tika Sumpter who like idar an overall? Okay. It's not my favorite Tyler Perry from I think for me there were a lot of moments that I really really really enjoyed something. I think Tyler Perry does really well is he creates these really ridiculous but easy to get into like situations and just puts his characters in them. And let them have these big scenes where they can play. And like just punch a joke up and just like beat it to death like Whoopie Goldberg, I wish would have been in the movie more. She and Tiffany haddish together. Yeah. There's one scene in particular. What she was talking. It Tiffany haddish through the window. And I was like I wanna love to have like three of these that were six minutes long. I just like I didn't know which plot we were going to go for it was try and get complex momentum. He could be experimenting. We don't know. I did have one note actually, the very first note that I wrote down when I was sitting there watching the movie was everyone in this movie is so pretty. Oh, that's really true. So beautiful. Stephen thompson. What did you think of? Nobody's Fool is such a mess. Okay. So you have all these great ingredients. Right. We've listed all these really likable actors, and we didn't even talk about amber Riley. I think it's great. And who I haven't seen enough since glee Amari Hardwick who mentioned fine. You have these interesting discrete pieces all of which are misused. So so you have the kind of central plot of the story is that the tika Sumpter character is essentially being catfish. And that kind of ends up evolving shockingly into a romance that romance ends up taking up so much oxygen in this movie as the Tiffany haddish subplot just disappears drops out for really long stretch of this movie. And with it all that bonkers energy that Tiffany haddish bring. Yeah. So you have all the energy kind of being sucked out at the same time. Also think it misuses Tiffany haddish in a number of ways by simply turning her loose not with necessarily any kind of character arc. She's just there to be loud. She's just there to be vulgar. She's just there to inject all this energy. But Tyler Perry. Seems to have no idea what to do with this character. The character doesn't evolve in any kind of interesting way, all that the movie ultimately cares about is what becomes of this relationship which itself to me has its things that are not satisfying about it yet. I'm interested because Brittany and Eric have seen more tile payer movies than I have. It sounds like, and I'm interested in I'm interested in whether this is a Tyler Perry thing underneath this comedy. Or what's been promoted as a comedy is this kind of Ernest romantic drama that ultimately is about this successful career. Ladies. Subtly ladies that with this movie. Appreciate a simple good, man. And there's a moment where like he sort of lectures, her about like if you don't appreciate a simple good man, then and she winds up treating him so badly. She's hurting cases. The by the end, I was like don't go back with her. She's like go back with me. I didn't find the romance as uninteresting. Stephen did. I think Amari Hardwick is really really cares. I love him. He's great ingredients being misused. And I think that that story could have been interesting. I don't think they necessarily have a ton of chemistry. I have to say, but that may be partly the writing, but I got bogged down in the her being corrected about how to feel about men. Well, you maybe shouldn't see too many more Tyler Perry. Now that's Rex with the rest of the catalog. His base plotline is often kind of like the the quote, unquote, like shrew archetype kind of falling in love and not realizing that she should be falling in love with the kind of like blue collar, man. Yeah. Like that's been right underneath our noses six packs for hot like a super hot UPS guy. Yeah. How did she not notice the men with ads like I'm kidding on gave me coffee every day? Everyone in my phone would hear about it every single day. But also also like that entire coffee. Shop would be full of women pressed up against. Everybody needs a job everybody. But one thing I will add about that line in this movie. Like, I was kind of ready for that. I'm not even because it's such a consistent part of his movies. Usually has like this is my one moral message. And like I'm gonna go super hard on that. And you're gonna get it by the end the way, he did that in this particular movie, kind of unsettled me a little bit a lot of the ways they talked about kind of diction and. And how you should exist in a relationship with someone who has wrestled with addiction. Really kinda rubbed me the wrong way at parts. It wasn't just a this is a good guy, and you should be with him. It was this is a good guy. You should be with him. He used to be an addict or not he might fall off the wagon. I was so ridiculous weird moment. There's a moment where the Tiffany haddish. Character Tanya who has come to really like the guy he is someone who has had addictions, and the Tiffany haddish character straight out says if you break his heart, it'll send him back to using. And I was like why? I was like you can't put that on her. This affair also that's not necessarily true, and she did enough horrible things in the mall ready at that. To him like, this one additional thing would not have been the thing. I like this is the thing Tyler Perry is omnipresent. I don't really like this word too much. But the definition I think he's a perfect case study of the term problematic problematic Fave writer. The thing is though is that like top here. Also is a lot of cultural cachet. And so when I love when he cashes at in. I was like, yes, you really got maximum eve, you really got catfish in multiple scenes. I was so ready for that to be the whole protracted like crazy adventure caper, you know. And then they ended up obviously doing the love story. And that was oh k-. I mean, there are a lot of hot people involved. That was compelling for me. Yeah. I felt like it was gonna be this sort of like sisters getting together and just sort of like reconnecting found that have been incarcerated for five years. So I was looking forward to them sort of like piecing this mystery together with Mexican Nieve of who danika 's mystery boyfriend, actually was I. I was like prepare Lee. Yes, we're gonna have amber Riley. We're going to have tika Sumpter, Tiffany, haddish and Whoopi Goldberg with Maksim me figuring out the mystery Tyler Perry is going to have peaked. I understand why he's killing off media because I was like he is about to smash. Nobody's fool. I was really psyched when it turned out that the catfish storing was actually going to involve catfish, and my favorite thing about maximum Nieve. And I loved the fact that Maxon nave we're actually in the movie because my favorite thing about them. Is that max is self aware? And Nieves is not so. So when you bring them in like Max's, making fun of himself and making fun of catfish and Neave thinks he's cool because that's how Pat fish is. But like Britney I was really bummed when that part of it kinda petered out they follow that for awhile. And then there's a cameo that. I think we're not supposed to give away. And it was okay. Like, it's an oak casing. I didn't think it was a hilariously amazing scene. But I could talk about it. So what would you say about it without revealing the cameo? What would you say about it? Well, it was just a wasted opportunity. Yeah. As soon as the cameo was revealed, I was psyched I was there. I was present within as it starts actually roll on. It was like man, I wish you guys would have just done a few more takes this. And just kind of let the just just do what you feel and I think it would have probably been ten times better. I had a lot of issues with it. I mean, it is a movie about cat fishing that is built around a fundamental bayton. Switch in the plot. Which is kind of a. Now, it's true. Stephen talked a little bit about Tiffany haddish being misused or underused here, and the thing I agree with him like the Tiffany haddish roles that I've loved the most which of course, I am not a gourmet in this way. Like, I love Tiffany, haddish girls, drip. You know, when I have really loved her the most there is a fierce intelligence and a warmth to her even when she's being extremely silly. And she is one of those people, you know, we talked about big mouth, we talked about my Rudolph, and the fact that she puts just a ton of as Mike sure has said about the good place a ton of mustard on every single thing. She says and Tiffany haddish can be the same way. I think with anybody else in that role. It would seem totally unnecessary. But I think her delivery and her sense of comedy and her ability to kind of throw herself fully at this role makes it seem worthwhile. But to me did that character exist in the original version of this story, or is that a character that kind? Came to life to add an element of silly comedy that otherwise wouldn't be there is that a common Tyler Perry thing for there to be an underlying kind of serious dramatic story. And then a kind of an externally added comedic force. It's weird. This is a different type of Tyler pair just slightly though. Like, I think the issue is kind of going back to I think something Britney was touching on. It seemed like he was trying something new, but not sure which pieces of those movies he still wants to keep in the media films. There's often Medina is kind of the Tiffany haddish care to that comes in and like bits, and is like really the comedic relief in a majority of the story is usually like drama, but his films outside of the Medina franchise. Are usually a lot more straightforward in this film. It seemed like honestly, he just probably ran into Tiffany, haddish backstage and was like they had great chemistry. He's like, you know, I got something. I think you could really be good for. And then there it is. And that he, you know, maybe took another month with the script writer took another. Generous. And then we get Nobody's Fool, and that's really a shame because going back to the plot by Britney described where Tiffany haddish, you know, gets out of jail and her and her sister team up to realize that both a little out of touch, and they can bring themselves together by taking down this man who catfish are great fail. Now. Watch the movie that the trailers promised really really excite. Yeah. I couldn't tell watching this movie weather. I was glad that they had a really light touch with this little thing about whether her name is supposed to be danika. I felt like that was such a character tail and I wanted more the idea is she goes by danika. And her sister keeps telling her mom named you Denisa. Like, there's a whole thing going on there. The issue is that Tyler Perry, especially in this film. He prioritized the romantic relationship in spite of the character development. So tika Sumpter scarier, Tiffany haddish's character, they didn't have whole ARC's. So once the actual romantic plot kinda came to its natural conclusion, you got to wrap up the movie because you already spent almost two hours. So they really bummed me out and going back to that in particular. It was something that they didn't actually really even wrestle with with her care to throughout the earlier parts of the phone. That was like the only thing, you know, was she did she used to be a little more hood. Like, you know, how would is the got her to this point where you know. She is kind of this stuffy at exac where does she goes Tiffany Becker life, make things better? We don't know. We'll never know. I know, and I think that if they had focused on that relationship. It would've been a much. More relatable movie. I think that like a lot of people can identify with class differences within their family. I think a lot of people can identify with remaking who you are making yourself up in a completely different fashion to get a certain place in life and a lot of people can can identify with having a family member who's incarcerated being gone for a while. And then coming back in them sort of like getting back into society on the outside. And then also like their family sort of maybe seeing where they all stand in relation to each other. I think that could have been such a like really relatable relationship to explore dynamic to explore. And I felt like that was kind of missed opportunity. I was interested in the family. And then it just didn't quite get fully played out though. Like, why am I how do you have Whoopi Goldberg tika Sumpter in Tiffany haddish and just not want to sit with them. Yeah. I mean, that's maybe the movie that we all would have loved the most. But you also feel that this movie didn't know what to do with its r rating. Yes. Because it was so yes. First of all gives them a chance to let Tiffany, haddish swear, more swear more. Yeah. Dirtier, but it also. Dropping in this weird awkward sex scene. It was extended. But I went to go see this in a theater, I was I was to bring him before. We started talking to auntie set was out full force. Yeah. And I couldn't hear anything. Night after that seat. So I don't know it wasn't meant for me. But the people who was meant for solid. I think I think that's right. I had the same sense in theater that I was in it wasn't as full. But I had the same sense that there is an audience for that scene to say the least. Well, I am guessing that many of you will wind up seeing. Nobody's Fool or have other thoughts about Tyler Perry. And I would love to hear from you. Come and find us on Facebook at Facebook dot com slash P, C H h or tweet us at PCH that brings us to the end of our show. You can follow Britney loose at the 'em. Loose fell. Eric Eddings at e Eddings, and you can listen to their show the nod, which is by Gimblett media. Thank you so much you guys for being here. This is so much fun. Thank you. Excellent. Excellent. Thank you, Steven. And thanks to all of you guys for listening. We will be back here on Friday. If you have a second, and you're so inclined, please give us a review on apple podcasts. That'll help more folks to find the show, we will see you. All right back here on Friday. More than twenty years. That's how long Olympic gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar abused. The girls and women who came to see him for treatment believed a new podcast from Michigan radio and NPR digs into how he got away with it for so long. Support for this podcast and the following message. Come from internet essentials from Comcast. Connecting more than six million low income people to low cost high speed internet at home. So students are ready for homework class graduation and more. Now, they're ready for anything.

Tiffany haddish Tyler Perry Britney tika Sumpter Eric Eddings Amari Hardwick danika Stephen Thompson Steven Thompson Tanya amber Riley Stephen Tiffany Becker Linda Holmes Whoopie Goldberg NPR Brittany writer anita Comcast
Introducing The Suga

Gettin' Grown

06:13 min | 8 months ago

Introducing The Suga

"Hey we'll be back with the regular episode tomorrow but we're bringing you something extra this week. It's a preview of a new podcast from stitcher called the sugar. Which is a brown Mama's guide to the sweet life the sugars hosted by Tika Sumpter? Ooh My girl you remember her from the game or also for mixed ish or from. What are many other movie roles and Tie Randolph? Who's an award winning business? Exac and one of the heads of Kevin Hart's ll network every week. Tika and tie invite modern women of Color so talk about their unique perspectives on motherhood love friendship and everything in between and instead of spilling the T. Listeners are invited to hear the sugar. The sugar podcast is right at the intersection of Motherhood Career and personal development made for 'em by the Modern Brown Mama. Win You're GonNa have me or you got to go. Listen to this show to open up laughing. Maybe even cry with Tika and tie and we're bringing you a preview here so you can see what you're missing search for the sugar now in your podcast. App In check out their first episode. It's outright now. Be sure to subscribe or favorite okay. Here's the preview. This sugar is A. Place for MOMS MOMS TO BE THE UNDECIDED. Aunties to talk all things motherhood Get the opportunity to speak about things that a lot of the Times. We're left out of the conversation whether it's I via mental health and also indulge in the joys of motherhood and being where we are and speaking on that whether it's you know potty training to talking back to how we are changing the the story of how we raise our kids and this is a place where you know when I first brought this idea to tie and cultivated it with her you to become a bigger part of another part of what we're doing. Which is Sugar Berry? I was pregnant with Ella. Who's now three? But she was in my belly and I was searching for a community. I was searching for products. I was searching for other people who looked me in had fibroids that I wanted to talk about and understand Struggled with as well so this is a place of love laughter Understanding and also getting a lot of Resources and advice practical advice for US I think as black women. There's so many parts of our journey and particularly our journey to motherhood that we have to package up. Put a bow on. And it's about strain and being a superwoman. Doing it all and I really wanted to place her. We could actually unpack all in that and be really real with each other and delicate You know are broader mission. Sugar Berry is to be a brown. Mama's guide to the sweet life we think You know we deserve to indulge too and to be vulnerable and to be light hearted You know to find the best resources for ourselves and our little ones. And that's what this is about and so. I'm excited to share to share in the sugar and the sweetness But also to really be real. I remember going through. Ivf myself in thinking. This is the loneliest place. I've got a broken body. This is so tough to navigate. And what's funny? Is the minute that I started talking about it. The minute that I talked about it at work or with girlfriends you find everyone's going through the same thing or some variation of the experience or have experienced You know some areas of doubt frustration. But no one is having that exchange. Yep so I feel like when we're really honest about what our experiences are. It gives everyone else permission to do. So nobody's getting a gold medal at the end for saying you did it all by yourself right. That's no one even knows it can say you don't get a gold medal for having a non epidurals pregnancy yes. You don't get a gold medal for breastfeeding for two years. Yes you don't get a gold medal for sleep not sleeping and being okay. You don't get a gold medal for anything right. There's no prize if you want the Get epidurals you want to bottle feed and bottle feed. But they're so much mom guilt that other moms give us. I got guilt guilted for having a C. Section that I could not control won't mounts need to be careful. We have to do that. There's a thin line between advice in judgment right and so everyone doesn't need our two cents if you had if you want to know what I did. Great if you don't find but whatever you choose I'm sure your kids going to be okay if you're providing for them if they're safe if their loved there's a whole spectrum of right answers exactly now. It's time for Mommy Mantra So excited to introduce this segment every week. We will sign off or leave you with a mommy mantra and it's an affirmation or bit of assurance just for MOMS something sweet to carry you through the Week. Nab encouraging quote. Anything like that So I have one go ahead. I'm allowed to make a big deal out of things that feel really big to me. That's from I think it's Amy Carly I just feel like sometimes people make The things that feel big to US small yet or that they don't matter like you have a live and you don't need to complain about this or you don't need to uneven like saying is complaining. 'cause you're talking about situation and I think sometimes when you have or you don't have you can start feeling like well. Nobody wants to hear me or here. My little problem. Your problems are big to you. And I think it's okay to say them out loud and they valid and people sometimes make them invalid because they're not big to them so I think it's I'm allowed to make a big deal out of things. I feel really big to me. I love that. It's similar to what my mom always says to me if it's real to than it's real so it's okay to acknowledge it you don't have to qualify it. It's just. This is what I'm going through. Here's what it is yeah. I love that the sugar is out. Now listen on stitcher apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

gold medal Sugar Berry Tika Sumpter Tie Randolph Exac Kevin Hart Mama US Ella Amy Carly two years
Tika Sumpter & Thai Randolph Unite to Create a (Safe) Sweet Space For Black Moms!

Yes, Girl!

39:56 min | 6 months ago

Tika Sumpter & Thai Randolph Unite to Create a (Safe) Sweet Space For Black Moms!

"Essence is proud to honor the black mothers on the frontlines of this global. The ones fighting for the most disproportionately affected community the doctors and nurses standing between us and tragedy. The essential workers keeping us. Fed policymakers fighting to keep their cities safe and the reporter bringing us like saving new. Their work must not be overlooked as they care for our families and their essence podcast network is proud to celebrate credible but they guess throw podcast limited series event highlighting their lives daily contributions to society. This podcast is part of the essence. Podcast network you can hear. Subscribe on Apple spotify. Stitcher iheartradio anywhere. You listen to audience this week's guest on yes girl. Fica softener entire brand creators of sugar bear a lifestyle brand and digital platforms voted to helping black and Brown. Love is live this Corey Charles. How are you on as you know back in Florida? You're back I'm back and While in Florida closer I was more active physically. I would walk in the neighborhood down. There was much easier to social distance of run walk. Beat more just being real more beautiful at a lush landscape And back in Brooklyn. I just not have been able to do that or find my groove in doing it. So I've been trying to pass Coupla days really motivate myself to get in the streets of literally And go move on your your good now air. I did it one day But the you know the past couple of mornings because I try to in the morning with my routine and the past couple of mornings I just been sleeping and not that. I'm even tired but I just realized I agree. A need to find new motivation To do so. That's what I've been dealing with. I mean it's on the scale of life. It's a small thing but But I wanted because I want to keep it up. I want to keep the momentum up so I told myself that I wasn't going to go pass the week Without figuring it out for myself to make my bed you were already winning. What are you talking about lake? I heard to be like Charlie. Make the bed. Okay got this. It's little numbers aged with by solving than I might put decision. This like do what you need to do. If you're out of your walking and moving and doing activities I mean you're winning because we're buzzer struggling in these streets. I have found is almost like you have to deal with quarantine like you do with a baby in that. The idea of you need a routine You know so you do. I realize I've learned that that I need to have a routine do that. So one of the routines is get up in the morning. Then in make the bed now when we you know we're back in streets and back outside I never do it. I was horrible at that But now doing it as sale. Got At least have one room. That's that's clean and made up Because I am not the person on the means that are saying tired of cleaning in my kitchen because I will kitchen slip and a sick. I am starting my kitchen but I'm letting myself off the hook. I think right now with the bed. I mean that's so I make but there are like little things I'm letting myself hook went and right now I know this is not terrible. But it's probably being like overly on top of you know being active in getting out. I'm just happy to be smiling in that dressing. What are you letting yourself off the hook for like right now? I let myself off the hook of not having my house together because you know now that I'm back in my house you know I'm realizing like I don't have a little nook. Cute little chuck like you have to do. My Zoom calls or You know these chairs at my dining room table or trash So I'm kind of letting myself off the hook of redoing my whole house in one paycheck or trying to cause I'm like I still have bills So that's what I'm letting my help myself off the hook with corey good. We all have to give ourselves the crazy buys. Let's let this be our say it's okay to give yourself the grace in a few things off the hook right now. You've got this and today's guests. He gets out there and tie Randolph. Who are two good friends? Who created an amazing together? So t get entire created a brand sugar very for modern black. Moms Corey in. I mean. I'm not a mom yet. But I know that they created because the demand was there and they created believe they lost like the second week that we all were required to stay at home and the fact that they kept going. It's almost like it. Lost at the perfect time because when we spoke to them they were also re shifting but the US festive beauty of motherhood in the beauty of motherhood. You have to make things work with what you have and you didn't see anything happening for moms like them so they created it which now we're going to get the Yes. We are so up next Tika Anti you know I love it. Good good girl. Amazing weaken excited to talk to stay of gap. Found a way to talk from you guy. Yes it's the entire Randolph. Who have just launched sugar. Mary I Guy Leyland so excited to talk to you against to. It's the love fast on. Yes merle and you guys are the perfect share on the podcast love. Tell US SUGAR BERRY IS PODCAST FOR BLACK. Moms right or or just of color. Well yes the sugar is the. It's called the sugar. It's a podcast on stitcher. And yet it's a podcast where we talk about all things motherhood and beyond whether it's free than our eggs whether it's you know I via for Or just caring for ourselves mental health all that stuff so it's just a space where we can be ourselves. We can breathe. We can We can complain and just kind of come together and say Oh my God. You're going through the same thing Okay I'm not crazy and so and so it's an offshoot of our site called Sugar. Berry was well got it got it. Yeah what a great time to launch this like now you stay at home. Moms your teachers at home. You doing all the things. You're recording now from home. Yes we're upside down literally in the drop of in the in the drop of a hat so we were recording out of H. Club in La. So we had this really yes. We were their first podcast client. They have the cutest little space there. And so we had a whole set of. We were drinking tea beforehand. We'd beat our guests. It was so adorable and the last time we recorded there. I actually started feeling a little icky as art feeling sick like a Saturday. And by the next week we had the stay at home order and so when we finally recorded the episode episode to We were both at home. I was recovering from. I don't know what it was. I couldn't get tested but it was some bad upper respiratory thing. I didn't have the fevers. Think it was Kovin But literally figuring out how to use zoom at a record in we just announced The launch of the company. The same day that we'd have to stay at home order and we have to decide strategically if it was the right thing to do to move forward and we figured things are seeming a little dark right now we could all use a little bit of light and so we focused on trying to focus on whatever sweet spots. We could find right now exactly that and I know that you were saying in an interview on essence dot com. When you talk to us about the lines that when you were having your baby you were searching for content black moms and couldn't find what you're looking for but just how does idea came about so kind of take it from the beginning so now yeah yeah So I was pregnant with my daughter Ella. Who's three now and you know? I was reading books and you know what to expect when expecting I couldn't get through it and I was like. Oh my God you know. And there's like a white lady on the cover which is all shot to the white ladies but I was. I was just looking at all these parenting magazines all these spaces and I just felt like why. Isn't there like a plethora of places for black women in general and with every variation of a story right. I think sometimes the narrative of black MOMS is just one way. And it's always down out while I do come from a single parent household. That is one set of stories but I know a whole generation of women who are married or who have a partner of whatever kind and and are doing the thing of motherhood are you know and so I just felt like I didn't see us didn't understand why and So then I talked to a friend. Do you know anybody in the space who knows tack or news like I don't know I don't even know what I want fully. I just know I wanNA space. Where moms can breathe and talk about everything and we can see ourselves in a different light pictures wise. I WANNA energy. I just knew who I was and I'm like no. I'm not the only one and so I went to so house to meet tie and of course we grab what she's like an order some champagne. Do you want instant friends incident and I can learn literally. I don't facetime anybody. All I do is based talk. She's like you keep telling me I'm like I know my accident. Why do we need to see each other right? The bathroom and I'm like I'll hang up. Just stay on that friend. Oh I'm not right now. I'm like I'm on the toilet. It's fine keep talking. I'll meet you go at night. So we're at so house we're at so house having a glass of champagne and I'm telling her the idea where I wanted community Meets Commerce where we can get. You know. Ideas of like people can tell. I sometimes feel like brands. Don't always talked to us that we need to be spoken to you. And yes we're seven percent of the country but we over index everything by power and just starting businesses and all these different things and so she was like listen. I'm interested in this part like if we can expand the part where the community meets commerce where it's actually kind of like a sort of driven business and I'm interested in that and so on and then tie you can expand from there no totally so so we have very opposite personality. If you can't tell I myself as pretty pragmatic like a pretty straight shooter. And so when I went there the way that it was teed up said a friend of mine is looking to either start a blog or invest. Didn't want and wants to talk to you so I bit totally prepared to be like. This is the wrong thing to do to save your money and your time. This ain't right Because I mean you guys are in publishing. It's A. It's a difficult job at a tough industry I mean essence is developed a really diversified revenue model and are very bleeding edge. But it's very hard to scale so I just wanted to be really open to her from a resource perspective and I spent the last three years now Working with Kevin Hart to launch his laugh out loud network so new first hands a lot of the the hurdles that would would be before us and wanted to understand if there was a real market. Need so when we sat down to things attracted me one was. Oh Wow as I would be your first customer for this right like I am also a relatively new mom who you would consider. Upwardly mobile who there are tons of resources. The gist none. That were directed towards me so I could mind other people spaces for product recommendations or advice on Navigating parenthood but no never I see myself reflected with nuance right. So so that was the one piece and then just on a personal level She and I both had kids in our later thirties right for the first time or mid to late thirties. We were still very career driven and so I felt like there was sort of two sides of the spectrum. You either see You know this. Hey I have to be this strong black woman down and out downtrodden carrying the world on my back with the child as well or you see this really like perfect sense of. I do all my own home improvement projects at every meal. I make perfect and I found myself someplace in the middle of trying to figure this out and she was brutally honest. I remember saying have support partners. Who really hands on dads and she was like you know my partner does so much sometimes afraid to be around my kid alone because I can't live up me too. I'm afraid of my kid when I'm GONNA do Black Mama. I've felt really weird saying that. At that time. She was like unheard terrible twos. And she's I'm like I'm afraid to be around like what are you going to do? What are you going to say? I'm going to be able to handle this. No and then I said I'm scared of my kids. She goes so the confessions of like being able to be brutally honest without girl. What am I and I'm not hitting my kid unity. My Mom's like you don't spank him. I know we're changing. We're changing in that through line during my generation who love on the. Yeah it was just a meeting of the minds and also I feel like a really great A market we. Yeah like black. Women are a definite market at a as essence essence knows and so we. We knew that. And so. That's what we wanted to tap into as funny I. My daughter's ten years old and I remember when Jimmy Veins first wife like the girlfriends got to pregnancy. Hers was a little bit sooner but again still a very rich white woman's perspective. I tried reading MOCHA. Mom's interesting Barley Michelle. Banks was one of the profiles in there and not to get serious for a moment that she advocated for herself Being upwardly mobile woman was that she went to the hospital and they were trying to. She was saying she was in pain and she tried to walk away in say they tried to push her away and say oh. You're not ready you you can go home and wait it out and she said. Don't you guys check my amniotic? Fool it when they did. They realized she had to go into immediate surgery. Fast four two when I went to the little because I was two weeks late and they telling me the same thing like you're fine. Just you're not dilated yet. Home and I remember that story and I say Oh. Can you check Miami fluid? They looked at it. There was all this whispering and they were like okay we're going to induce you And my daughter was born like within eighteen hours. But if I hadn't read that story to you're going because all the other stories didn't really relate to me So I want to thank you for doing harm Because even ten years ago I think women the fact that it's still not around that speaks a lot but I'm glad that it's here now What kind of other are you gonNa have other guests on your show like? How is your show going to be formatted? Yes yes we're going to have other guests. We're super excited. So it's like this. It's you know two of US talking. We bring a guess on We like we don't like to just like ramble. We like people. I know when I listen to podcasts. I want to take away of stuff. So we have a specific topic. That guests is either an expert on or feels expertly experienced in. And so we'll have like Like a little luck. It's coming on and a tee Amari and just all these young and all different types of MOMS. We had Dr Mani from Marriage medicine so it's not only is it. We also had Debbie Brown recently. Who's on our most recent a conversation episode and literally? My mom called me this morning. I was called her. Actually she goes. Oh my God I'm listening to you guys girl would. She said she says she needs. She's she said some quote she said. This is good mom and my mom is super duper oddest. So she's in her late sixties. She's like Oh yes know. You know what I mean so So it's just a variation of people. It's not all celebrities. It's it's it's where celebrities and also just experts meet of the minds. It's you know I just. We want to just give a voice to every type of mom possibly nobody can say oh like you did. You took away something for What you read right so I just want and I also just want us to feel cared for and able to say the things that were scared to say or able to say you know my kid terrorist at this moment you know what I mean so I think these things are really important. I think these are things we don't we actually don't get to say out loud because he will look at. Us crazy like you're a bad mom. This recent episode when you were like you guys both confessed during quarantine you were like. I'm letting my kid have screen times. You Ain't pause and you said it is this because they re time is the only time you're going to have to yourself because you her so I'm like you know what. Yeah you can watch Tiktok for the next forty five minutes because I text Tika. What was that? Like three or four nights ago and And my my son's to and so he's since the the quarantine scheduled completely off because he's accustomed to like he goes to like a preschool. Pratt like that is Danny. Takes them to the park. He exhausted himself because he super active. He takes it that he's doing none of that now. Everything's upside down. So he wanted to go to bed and he asked his tablet and I was so exhausted. I was like here's it. I'm I'm a horrible mom. It's nine o'clock he's too. He's in his newly converted crab watching and he will do it so he felt he watched it for an hour. Papa Troch on our did not kill all asleep. Two he'll be you'll be totally fine. I grew up watching TV as like. I don't even remember my mom reading a book to me. Shout out to my mom was working hard. I don't remember mother. Never take my homework as she cooks dinner. Bright until do what your self and then was growing with. Our baby sitter that. That's what happened. That were is yeah. That's my I feel like I know so. Well I feel like an expert. Yeah that's how we know. Always show all the words everything I wanNA say. I WanNa thank you both because at times we talked to you about what you're doing. It's for not just MOMS but women who want to be a mom who are ready to be a mom trying to be a mom and you talked a lot about that inclusivity and I thank you because you were saying like TCI followed you tie with Toyota. These are the women who follow every day and I smile my mic. I can't wait to be a mom like you know you get to see that and hear those stories and just like its importance a moms. It's important to women like me as well. Who Oh my God. Oh my gosh I and I feel like that is very important. I say our site is for MOMS MOMS to be the undecided and hold on a freeze my eggs because my career right now is way more. You know what I mean like I feel like we even the the sense of feeling like. Oh do I want it? Let me check it out. Let me see what this is like and then make a decision fine but I want you to have that option to have all the information possible and all the the great all the not so great and all the in between and so you know one of our partners actually who Blair she does not have kids. You know she's an Aussie. So it's for the aussies what help dirty media And so yeah. We want to include every single person under that umbrella. Well and that part was important for me because I struggled with TILA ISSUES. Prior to conceiving and when my son came I had already resigned. My fat the resigned myself to the fact that either. I wasn't going to be a mom or it wasn't going to happen the way that I thought it was going to happen right. We tried multiple approaches. So I WANNA make sure that this doesn't feel like you have to have some you know passed a some exclusive club. Because they're all sorts of past the motherhood and at the time I was in a place where I was like okay. It's probably not going to happen for me. I don't WanNa pursue these other paths and I have to figure out what my life looks like for just me and my partner for just me and so. I want women in that same state to feel comfortable communing as well. I don't want it to feel like okay. You have to be a mom you have to be on this path because I think it's about a life stage where we're all figuring it out right like we're all women wear You know being with a partner and figuring out your career and the children the conversation on children's colliding and we just WanNa unpack that and make it like a safe sweet space to have those discussions. I gotta ask us that. You guys are both powerhouses right now. You both mentioned that. You're happily married hands on DAD's your mom's and then you full-body women right. So how are you finding the time to do this? I mean let. Let's take quarantine out on your caves. They're there on the floor under the bed. I wish I had a double me and yeah. Here's the thing I just feel like. They're really you know I I'm I'm not married yet. I have a fiance talking about five years so far. Yeah I feel like to me the word balance. I feel like there's always imbalanced in. It's never for me going. To be ounce be and and you know. Sometimes I have a hard time because I very much love working like. That's what I love doing and you know. Am I missing? Something things my daughter. There's something always you're going to give up right. You're always going to give up something and so sometimes you're going to you know my daughter says you came back. I'm like that's probably Oh money. And now she does it on purpose because she knows I'm always here and she's like you came back and I'm like girl sit down but You have a roof over your head so I don't think there is going to be a balance all the time What do you think tie how do you? How do you handle that? I think the same thing and you know we really have to let each other off the hook because there's always an opportunity cost right. Look we started doing this. Amazing podcast but Saturday's are some of the few days I an uninterrupted we record on Saturdays so I sacrificing the entire morning and your partner sacrifice because it's Ok now. You're supporting the schedule. And during the week you know teak onset and I'm in a different office and so I put him down at eight thirty and then from nine until eleven. We're back on the phone so Something's always missing like not. Everyone's getting service. I'm just GONNA be honest but you have to think like you know your intentions of pure and I'm hoping that our kids were modeling behavior that because so much what we do is for them But then you're also doing stuff for you like I feel like if I'm unhappy person like I'm not GonNa you can't give away what you don't have so if I'm unhappy if I'm instilled even if I'm home twenty four seven it's not going to be the best scenario for him and you are modeling a I remember my daughter saying 'cause my daughter's like I'm a you're going to work and I go. Yes she goes. I'm going to I want to go to work to and I was like school work for you as like. I'm a businesswoman. She goes. I'm going to be a businesswoman and I'm like these things she's picking up. You know what I mean even if I would. I don't WanNa do I think for women in general were so hard on ourselves about everything and even me. I'm trying to take that load off because I'm only one person I don't have a sister wife. You know what I mean. And it's Sometimes I wish I did literally nick and I got no fight about that the other day but anyway just because you're like I can share you. Bet that's cool. Yeah so it's just like you are not five women there's only one woman in and you can only do so much. Yeah you guys talk about With your daughters doing now because my daughter loves to tell me if I need to go do something she goes. What do you want to do it or you need to do it? Ooh You're like Badu do question things before I go to her now. I'm with your answer firm waiver out of Miami Real quick right right right right. She raised with all. Your friends are not accustomed to having someone needs something from you at every moment of the day. No matter how that you want it and had a friend tell me who has like A. I think she's ten no. They're seven in like six or something like that and she said this is my sweet spot. Baby stuff somebody else can have. This is where I thrive and you might not like. You might thrive in the baby spot. Not In the six and seven eight like me. I feel like when L. is like a thriving. Now 'cause he's talking but like I feel like when she's six and seven. I'm like Yo you wanted to go on a trip with me. You that's GonNa be our relationship. Oh you might just you know certain points in time might just not be your thing but you get through it Obviously I would sports the Earth from my daughter and I love her and everything but there is definitely exhaustion happening. But you also have to take time out for yourself. There's just so many variations in it. You know what I mean. It's just one thing and even I was talking to somebody about like my mom is morning. Unlike the even a stay at home mom is not used to staying at home behold in this psalm or right outside they go to ever the mall wherever they go. They're doing their. They have a plan. There's something outside of just being at home if people say now. What is it Right now my. My travel is to the window into law. So I know that you guys I feel like you're starting a movement with this because like you said it's crazy to think that in twenty twenty didn't hackers or we really didn't and with had different blogs and things but an overall resource impact casts or young modern black moms and moms to be you know what I mean. They really magical so I want to know. What would you say your number one messages to like the Modern Mauve? Would you want her to know about what you're doing and just want her to know? Yeah I think that So we we got some advice when I was telling The actually it's the woman who runs the accounting firm. We work with and I was telling her about the company and she said Oh. I'm so excited about it. And she's grandma and so she said because their whole spectrum of right answers and so I think that what we WANNA showcases the entire spectrum of writing answers and we say Motherhood should not be endured it should be enjoyed and you know black MOMS. Don't just to knowledge you need to be celebrated and that's what we want to happen here. So if you're here for like a love fest and a party like we try not to do anything salacious. Even our podcast. We say we share the sugar. We don't spill the tea so we're not looking for all your juicy gossip we just WanNa love on women you know. I love data. That's great. I love that and I think even with Debbie Brown I just felt. She's on like a meditational healer. She's into like we even. She does crystals and we were like okay but we can have Jesus though right we you know. We were like crystals what does that. She's like. No it's not like Hokey pokey. Really you know these these energy healing and they come from the earth literally and they've been used for years in Queens were obsessed with the monarchy and like they've held them in their cups in the bottom for energy in when they were drinking wine. All this stuff in so just explaining what that is and her being in this space that is very white. You know at her coming in but literally what she talks about how. I think you said tie like black. Women have had to hold up the Earth's leaderly. We are our role in life is not to carry everybody right. Yes on Earth for and I think Debbie just confirmed in the way. She spoke through us into us. She spoke life literally. We were both in tears and we. I know we didn't understand what was happening. I'm like what is this wet stuff. I'm like oh by God Tika keep talking late into each other and concrete things that we could take away from it So yeah I mean things like that. I think are super important in the spectrum. I've gotTA say Tika my daughter and I love watching. I came back and started a now. The yes girl team. We all quote A. J. C. Petty. Yes we we we say. People are shopping there with a credit line. Okay got the MAC. I love that to. I'm like yes at least you even the role that you play as a mom. You know coming from the commune trying to figure it out and adjusting and I love the justice position of your sister. fantastic actress Christine. Anthony she has. She's fantastic. I love what you are doing there. so I love you have the level of a character that you portray the now you have this. We can see all these stains and tie. Thank you so much for your story. I was so touched by your story. Come into motherhood because like you said like you'd given it up you. Have you close the door you like? It's not happening for me. And then your doctor said yes what. You're pregnant. Which I thought I was entering early. Menopause that's what I thought they had prepared me for so I said Oh I know what's happening. I don't want to grow a beard right now. Home let's figure out minimize the hot flashes so I think it's also given me a sense of Of gratitude to right because An and made this even more important. I think the busier that we are the richer. Your lives are the more you feel like. You have to kind of make an specifically from so passionate about the fertility conversations. Because I found it I mean. Recently you know you hear Gabrielle Union. Talking a lot more about her story and their other folks have come forward but at the time guess I was four years ago. I had nothing so I was working at a tech company. I was surrounded by white women who were freezing their eggs doing elective surgeries and doing things that they had to do. As well right they were just so much more informed. I didn't have the vocabulary. I didn't have the resources. I didn't have the information in even working for a company of a facebook at the time. That was very well. Resourced and very supportive. When I got into a fertility clinic no other black women so let's just a lonely space. Why am I here? Why is my body broken? And there's a certain amount of like looking around in in an experience and seeing yourself reflected so you feel a little bit comforted right people who look like you're going through it with you. The only one right but I was but you are definitely and that was. That was really really tough. And I just didn't want anyone to feel the stigma about it if they were failing in it and I had so many people reach out to me who don't even know me that well who wanna connect around it because they just don't have someone to talk them to like you said you don't know the hormonal levels you don't know your options and you don't know the range of emotion. Joe have when I hit like one of my darcus points. I was on a train writing from New York to DC. My friend my best friend from high school best. Five kids I had fibroid surgery before I ever found out. I had ovarian reserve issues and so She had offered before she said if you if for some reason after your surgery you can't carry out what. Perry for you and I thought Oh offer of surrogacy was so like overwhelming to me. It was like you are my sister for life and I hope I don't have to take you up on that But clearly a uterus is strong and then so fast forward after I found out where I stood in terms of you know having egg low-quality an not counting the uterus issues. I'm on a train and excellent. Couldn't talk so she called me and was a cab. I'm on the train like it's going to break off text you and she text me and said Hey. I talked to my husband and I understand your issues not having eggs and we. I'm willing to give you ED's and I was like that was my reaction. But then I was like Mitch. And I have a kindle. My husband look like my face was like oh but will be her her kids. I mean that's what you for five but but no one talks to you about level. I want to play your best friend or all of US love. I'm so happy that you when you talk about it. It does speak to my heart as someone trying to conceive and you know we you and I talked about this briefly but when you talked about that moment where you said you accepted that you could maybe have to do it. Another way. Getting to that point for me was very recent in has been very difficult in that stigma that you're talking about like people say Oh were you know? How's it going? What's going great knowing that it isn't but also I had to personally get into that point with myself. What if I can't do it the way I always dream? What's the next game? Yeah what's the next street? The next dream when it comes motherhood and that's been the hardest part of my journey so far is getting to that personal acceptance. A what is helped so much when back to. What we've been saying is just seeing like you said Gabrielle. Union was experience. All of these women coming out and talking about being there to has just made. That's how you see the next week in in in real talk Charlie. Seeing black women talk about it. Leave the stigma of over the years that we are just baby making machine and we will where we're sexual allows says this actually no because I remember I didn't have too much of a problem. Conceiving but I remember I was thirty five and I went to the doctor's like Oh my God I can't even have children. And she looked at me she said. Have you tried to house like? That's real in total thirties. Like Oh God you're you're you know. Obviously it's higher risk or whatever but even like saying your higher risk and you'd better get going and all these things so of course you go in there like I'm thirty five and she's like honey. I see all your eggs and there they are today. Here's what you do and then sure enough. I went and did what she did. And then you know and that's really. I remember going into office crying. And I'm a myrtle and she was like. Yeah but but by the age of twenty five they had two kids and my big Mama had nine kids lose this side of this thing like having kids and it's like Oh God and now I guess guild of you're you're going to have one and I'm like okay. Are you going to pay for the rest right I do would by? I saw the phrase one and done up to say that I deal with the fact I think about I don't know what I was smoking because I thought when I would see. He knew what she was in preschool and it would be the sibling discount. I thought I met. She was sibling. Go free not realizing no. It's just like Oh yeah no. It's not it's Hey Darlie you have to completely pay for a whole other child. Yes they're paying to college to your money college tuition or eighteen for twenty two years way. My is that is about to be my did always financially right. God I have no idea I would think you get thirty percent off. No you guys have the best energy and we are so excited for this hijack. It just ain't Sitel everybody where they can go and find everything. So you can find the sugar at the sugar pod on Instagram You can find sugar berry at berries on instagram. And then you could buy me at Thika so I am no just Tika sumpter on instagram. And I am Tika sumpter on twitter. Somebody took my name do both happen? Ty wishart yeah tell people oh great. I'm at Tie Randolph. Everywhere Everywhere Ladies Gentlemen. If you aren't following these two women you should be. I am wild by all that they are doing we so much that we can see and even the things we don't congratulations on adding another thing to your plate and crushing it. Thank you for creating a safe space for black mom. I mean that's a great. Be SURE TO LISTEN. Ascribe to other great episodes of yes girl such as our conversations with Kelly. Rolin Regina King and Ben Teaser. You can check out our podcast on apple podcasts. Spotify OUR HEART RADIO UGO play. And while you're there be sure to and three.

partner US Debbie Brown Corey Charles spotify Charlie Apple Gabrielle Union Miami Florida Tika sumpter reporter Brooklyn fevers Union La Tie Randolph Ty wishart Randolph Randolph
Tika Sumpter

Anna Faris Is Unqualified

1:04:00 hr | 2 months ago

Tika Sumpter

"Hey everyone. Today's guest is Tika sumpter. You know her from mix ish gossip girl ride along right along to also my movie. What's your number spend? Just a short time with Tika and you walk away in a great mood believing you can do just about anything later I'm joined by psychotherapist and author Lori Gottlieb Laurie writes the Atlantic steer. Advice column and Co host the deer therapist podcast. She frequently appears as an expert on mental health topics on the today show Good Morning America cnn the BBC and NPR. If you're looking for advice from Laurie or one of our other experts, please send your questions to qualify dot com. Now here's TICA. Gentlemen you're listening to qualified with their host. I. Saw? Okay I swore to myself. I'm knockin start, off by saying. Beautiful. But fuck you do. Thanks Moma. Way. I have to tell you though do you remember doing what's your number? Yes. Okay. So you have always been so nice even to the people who were number two, number three, number four, number five, call she which for listeners if you don't know what that means like number one means like you're the top after a show number two is just as important but you never made me feel like. unwanted. Welcoming. Even though you have so much on your plate to get that is such a nice compliment because I was just telling Michael. My fiance are worry the Thika Remembers what your number because I felt like having done house bunny and. A Lotta ladies, we never get to work with each other. But I was so honored that you and our other ladies were part of this project and I'm not saying that. This is one of my flaws as being like overly sentimental out of the. And adding that such a a valuable trade of yours seriously the in that was the thing that I was worried about. I was like I couldn't gauge if everybody felt supported in the way that I wanted them to listen I wasn't there very long but like from what I saw and the way I felt like Maya. Angelou says you remember how people treat you and I, have the utmost respect for you you were so completely nice and genuine, and you had a lot to do you're in every scene you know and so I really wanted to say that because I never got to talk to you after that tickets really means a lot to me because I think that. I was like, okay. I have to. The next imagine have to get my hair on. If into that readdress anymore. I hope the ladies are happy because I'm so glad. You know what I mean your producer like you know that Shit, I know and I just think if you're nice to people generally consistent where people are like, no, she's a cool person. She's Super Nice. That's who you are ticket. Both thank you and thank you for doing this today. Of course and I truly I was like don't tell her szucs. Beautiful. Don't do it to do it. I love it. I liked the idea of changing dialogue between women where it's like Oh. We're so focused on how we look in doing a podcast and I, did put on scary for you open up for you well. It looks great. I'll take all the compliments. I'll take it because I feel like women can do more than one thing at the same time we can walk and chew, Gum. So not only can you be beautiful but you'd be smart and hold a conversation right so I'll take an and I just turned forty so buck. Yeah. I was thinking also as you talk a lot about on your podcast about raising your daughter. So my son's about to turn eight and he's at this phase where he'll snuggle with me at night like when he sleepy or if he's like skin Disney or something like that but I'm so used to just like touching his head putting socks on him or he'll kick me or who like Swat me. So I tried to explain to him, I'm used to touching you your whole life I'm used to having to do all of these things. So in order to hurry things along when we have to go to the store and I need you to put your shoes and socks on and get your coat on I'm used to manhandling you. And of course that absorbed very deeply within him, he's like don't touch me anymore Jane. Stop it I think your daughter must be at that age where it's like, oh, she still needs a lot of the physical contact all the time, but she is getting into that place where she'll start to do those like, no, my own physical independence only way. Now I know how to do that is to like jerk, my foot in your general direction, right? Right Right No, my daughter is definitely at that. Phase where I overly kiss her I. Hug on her I just want her to know. She still loved I. Feel like if you feel your kid up at home, I mean eventually, she'll go searching somewhere else for something else that she needs. But I feel like at least let me bill her tank but my daughter is seriously like mob that's enough I keep kissing her and she's like no more no more. You don't anywhere and I'm like. I love you. She's like, okay. Let me watch frozen please. You know yes in. Like trying to put on a sock or something I don't up the kicking thing like I wanna be like Dude, kick me. Yeah and the other day I tried to explain to like listen we have to work this out. You know I I'm used to touching you and changing your diaper, believe it or not you used to wear a diaper. Don't do it. I mean I think it's your right to be like dude, put the down pay attention right now for two seconds like La is literally it's almost like butterflies in be like she just does not mention she's still have and she's like not moving where I need to we need to go. So you can still like play tricks with her. You can be like, Hey, L. Look over here. Look at this look at all my gosh. I. Think There's a butterfly or whatever. Just leads to be scared. She loves. Monster, she likes that voice teasing. This is how we have to like maneuver the rest of our lives playing games. Are you in La I am in La when I was working on what's your number I? Think that's the lifted New York I've moved to La like four years ago and I love California I just love and we wait. Yeah you are an incredibly positive person I think according to your bio but. But to get can you? Think of three things that annoy about Los. Angeles. Yeah I think one of the things is like the people who are from California who act like they're the bee's knees like they give California a bad name I feel like people who are actually from here are always the sweetest most down to Earth people but always people who are coming here who feel like they have to be something else in so everybody kinda carries this. You know like Jesse Jackson said you are somebody yes but you don't have to act like a pretentious blood hole. The second thing. Oh my gosh when you're eating out. And everybody looks at the door. Everytime it opened. Oh. Yes. Yeah. 'cause they're like Brad Pitt Comey is fairest. Mini. That's annoying and then third thing is. I don't have a third thing but right now those are the top two that are probably the most annoying when I moved to Los Angeles from Washington State. I couldn't believe how just geographically unattractive it was and I know you come from New York and like when you arrive in New York, you're like what is this story and when you arrive in La you're like. The city engineers was the no planning department because this is like thousands of miles of grotesque. You're like blind over smog or whatever, but I really loved Baja fresh. I really loved like this general sense of optimism that I totally mistrusted. Yes. I was like, what do you mean things are great like started a new routine doing what? You seem like it's all going well for you. Smiling. Yeah and you. Soldier script. Hey but. You're shreve should be this happy because what if never gets me? Everybody's always at a meeting. Yeah. We're talking live. Yeah when I first came here is just like Wow. There's a lot of space I was born in Queens, raise them. And when they say, Oh, the city to me, it's not really a city 'cause I lived in like one of the biggest cities. So I, I, really enjoyed the space I enjoy being in my car. Yes good sort of enforced solitude. Like all right. Well, yeah. I have to drive for thirty meds. Solitude man is so real and then also there are so many great podcast now that you can listen to and you know I'm the girl who goes to the movies alone I've always been back I love it. I Love Peace I dunno, I love. Being with myself and you're clearly amazing mom. But what you're guilty pleasure. Like. What do you do? What's your equivalent to me like? Drying my hair for weirdly long time. Yeah. So my meetings are amazing because I'm like I can't give. MOM has to be in this room for awhile. Yes, she's like. I'm like. I'm in a meeting. Mini meeting I'm Yani. Now. This is let Mommy Dutt's okay. And then you're just like mom hi, how are you? I'm going crazy. The meetings go on for a little longer than they're actually over. But in my mind, I'm like, no, this is still a meeting like here right now I do take extra log showers for sure in bats. This is GonNa be the long shower I've ever tecoma got and I sit down. I enjoy it. Okay teacup because you're negative things were so great about La. Do you mind doing three positive things? Yes. 'CAUSE be like bitch leave La. What I love about La is sunshine at love for the most part like there's some really good people I met out here and I love will I still the outdoor spot that you can just like chill at? I. Don't know I. Just love that you can take a meeting at a coffee shop. You know you don't have to necessarily be in office and I love my God, the beauty I didn't. Realize like California doesn't even look like California like I'm like this is California isn't it? So Glorious? It's glorious. Yeah. It feels like a movie at that is the beauty of California there is that old. Cliche like surfing in the morning skied or whatever which came to sort of exemplify this idea ridiculous optimism. But then when you kind of see Oh yeah I don't know how to serve the ocean scares me. Skiing in the afternoon maybe or just hiking exactly the beauty of light and the opportunity yes which is also in our industry to do love Los Angeles for the idea that I didn't know anybody and somebody gave me an audition. So I could yeah, not be a waitress because I was a really bad one. I was a really good waitress you were. I liked it because I fell again to be a chameleon. Would you waited tables? You know like you'd come into contact with like a girl who's with her boyfriend and gets a little like I don't know if it was insecure whatever it is feeling like Oh God here's a girl who's waiting my table looking at you like an opportunity to like let her cu and like you connect with her girl I think you're gonNA. Love this. She's like really and I'm like, yes, I'm like, oh your dress united she just like let her guard down. I am and I feel like it helped me even in rooms whether it was directors or casting directors or even now, just producing stuff like I feel like I can win anybody over you tell me that this is not going to happen. It's GonNa Happen this guy so I feel like waitressing really. Well. Because you're absorbing kind very mundane boring material. Yeah or no WanNa leave people alone you know what I mean no one to stop you know no one to like okay. He doesn't need to be checked on anymore. He's over at know those people keep checking every two seconds you like girl guide please stop united. Godly. Get. Let's get to some life questions if you don't mind I, don't mind. Okay. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Cookie ice cream What would you eat for your last meal? Steak seared like crispy on the outside medium with a baked potato fully loaded and Broccoli with some pickering cheese on it and I'm good. Maybe a glass of wine. No. Like Pasta Pasta. Macaroni and cheese high end thing I'm just imagining your steak plate here. Now, I would stay your like. Last week I. Mean my mom's Mac and cheese. Amazing. But that's like one of my favorite meals like steak a baked potato and Broccoli right over allies them. Sorry. You're. GonNa conform to what I want. What was your favorite toy as a child? My favorites Roy. It's still crazy. I remember bits about. which like should There be we know what I had to play outside lot with my friends like that's what we did. We like five trees we played house Amita was more like interactive. We play double Dutch ION double. Dutch? Yup You should see me. Ask. I have to pull a thread a little bit when you were playing house. Kids, what was your role? Who I? Can I make a prediction? Yes. Okay, here's my prediction at the time. You weren't the tallest kid that was playing with you but you were definitely the boss he has an you were the older sister who got to go out on dates. I definitely went on dates. And you'd be gone for like five seconds behind the bush. Yes, and then you'd come back and be like, yeah, I don't even know if I like him but he's GonNa be like, wait you behold Bush. Yet I think I was always kinda like the mom and then like I had. This guy who is always the dad you know I never got to play with boys like that of the I played. One boy there. You're the MOM and dad. Yeah We're GONNA go kids mommy. Don't worry. Everything's okay. Behind Blizzard. Okay. So what was your first boss? Oh, okay, I worked at a movie theater. He was great because I was a really good employees. It's crazy 'cause when you're raised by a single mom at first and then I had my Stepdad come on when I was ten Assam struggle so much. It went from struggling to like she got rave like moved up in her job, and so then life changed, and then she got remarried and then we moved to the burbs and so see my mom struggle like made me a really hard worker and grateful for every opportunity 'cause I always knew this is not where I'm staying. So when I was like popping popcorn in the back as a concession girl I always like, do you WanNa large for quarter more you know like I always up sold my drawer material was always the right amount of cash and so I feel like, I'm a good employee like I worked at honeybaked ham sold a lot of Hams during seasonal. Kind tell you why you are not a good employee I can see it. So clearly, why because if you're like a mid level manager? And you're like, I'm pretty content with my life your. God. Yeah. Well, all right sales are up or people's into Laker. People. The fuck. My boss. You're just like sneaking up from behind. But as we should know, here's the thing I know I never wanted to be a manager there I'm like, no I'm here to just get my cash and go like I am going on the are to do to take. Like I don't want your job don't worry I was so focused on me and like what I wanted to do, that would turn the boat left. I'll take you took my visualization completely incorrectly I was like okay. So if I'm like a production company, let's say one hundred billion dollars and I wanted to offer you to income work for me or whatever they get some point eventually I would like to think I would be smart enough to recognize that you were taking over. Like. No No. Like at the best of ways I love that okay. Who has influenced your career the most it depends at what point my life. Okay. Can I give you age? Let's say like fifteen to seventeen. Oh, my God, it's like a weird mixture of like I was a girl who was like a latchkey kid but also had to play outside but also watch Donna Jackson Rhythm Nation VHS whatever she's doing i WanNa do I don't know what that is. I. Don't know how to get there. I'm a girl from Queens by way of long, island so. That, and then my mom to be honest in I know that's like the answer that probably everybody gives but look, she didn't understand this business at all. She's like I don't know what you're doing but you need a 401k and you need a real nine five and you need to work and you need consistent money and all that stuff but which she did teach me like to never give up on myself because she was doing it for so long by herself and like raising US five kids and. She just continued you. She marched on not only for us but for her you know and I just feel like if my mom did it with way less resources than I have in life, I owe it to myself too big for whatever I wanNA do take a wet age order are you I have two older sisters and then I have an older brother and then comes me and then I have a younger brother who's in his early thirties and then I have another little brother so I'm like in the middle I don't know too many like in the middle's but I know a lot of youngest like I am not middle always hold up the way to the world. Yeah. On both ends I believe that parents are middle's yeah. Do you have any siblings I have an older brother it just you you yeah and I love him love him for Ocean Sleep. But man, he was a big kid we had a contentious childhood but he's been on the podcast we've talked about are. Things. Okay what is the best or worst advice you've ever been given the best advice probably for my mom I remember coming out of this class in this is why I was already like a working actor, but somebody would like Oh. Maybe you should go take acting class everybody goes and takes it in named all these artists and stuff and I like I have the job in. Doing the work I don't know what you want me to do to elevate. So I was told to go take this class and it's one of those classes that like break you down in the bill you up. Oh, boy. Yeah. It makes you feel like you're not a good actor at all and so I walked out of class and I called my mom and I go. Back like should I be doing this? Like should I be acting? She goes first of all, you know. Keeping me throughout the bones meaning take the good things out of it. But like leave the stuff, you just don't need like you. You know what? I mean like who cares doesn't do anything for you. It doesn't contribute to you and not listening to everybody I love the idea of stop listening to everybody. I guess I don't know if there's a philosophy behind like young people should get prepared for a ton of rejection, which is sorta believe in that. But at the same time it, how are you supposed to gauge at all if you're good because I went through? A similar deal feels like you have to get used to the idea of rejection. Yeah. I mean I feel like you got to somehow have some kind of confidence. Know until you start booking job you don't know but then you also realize like sometimes booking a job it doesn't mean you're good. For anybody like there are a ton of people who are book a lot of jobs in new are super famous and I'm like I don't know how I don't know her grass you did it. This episode of unqualified is brought to you in part by daily harvest I think we can all agree that parenting well life these past months has been challenging if not overwhelming I love cooking but don't always have the time to make the healthiest meals to be have to have MAC and cheese. Every night is more of a statement than question daily harvest is a recent discovery of mine they deliver delicious clean meals built on organic fruits and vegetables. So you never have to question if the food you're eating is good for you and your family everything is quick and easy to prepare smoothies for breakfast flat breads for lunch or dinner and comfort food like their roasted harvest bottles and. Hearty soups and daily harvest isn't just for Vegans Vegetarians. I sometimes add some grilled chicken or steak to harvestable and everyone's happy. 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I've also told you about all birds measuring the carbon footprints of their products and listing it just like the nutrition labels on packaged food which sounded especially. Cool. Except that I had no clue what a carbon footprint was. So I asked what determines a carbon footprint number one, the premium natural materials that make all birds product number two, the energy consumption of assembly factories, number three, the energy that it takes to wash a pair of all birds. Yep All birds are machine washable and number four, the impact of breaking down and all birds product after you wear them out. I should mention that I've been wearing my Aubert's every day and they are a long way from being worn out the average carbon footprint for an auburn's product is equal to running five dryer loads or driving nineteen miles in a car and all birds is committed to lowering their impact over time. So they leave a better kind of footprint. Hopefully, these past months have made us aware that things need to really. Change, we all need to look out for each other and come together to protect the things we care about including the planet. We all share all birds knows that by holding ourselves accountable, we can create a more sustainable future with all birds feel confident knowing you're wearing product that's doing right by your feet and the planet learn more about their sustainable practices and find your pair at all birds dot com today. Okay, what is your favorite rainy day movie? Something I can watch over and over and sound of music. That's a good one and for Allah, is she like all over she hasn't seen it yet. She's heard it on my like spotify whatever. But like I always play Doh Rabi Foster let's do in the I act like. I'm delete your Maria Maria. L.. Likes Act out things in so it's five Jack says he doesn't now but I know that he does. He's eight. He's like no stop watching the cartoon. I'll here's the voice over actors and I'm like Hey, I can do that the glibly posit posit posit I can see that line better and who I can. Talk Mom. We had a dance party and I put on footloose. I thought I was in that movie from the original as. In. I was dancing are. Elements like mom that was good. He isn't there a lot of the cooking was that the style is a lot of book kicking. There's a lot of putting in just A. Jerking, right. It's mostly like below the knees. It's like railing your dress a little bit took. Him Props. Havoc. Crazy person l loved it. Okay. What does a trait you dislike in others? There's a few people who are pretentious in unkind. And only nice people who seemingly only matters in that space I? Love that because it's so common in our industry Oh my God, how do you trust somebody? WHO's like? That was great. That was great. That was great but then My experienced. If they've said, you know that wasn't so great. I'm like I don't WanNa work with you anymore goodbye. Like we call to. The duplicity. I guess it's two different types of things like I think we're tired to things like if you're talking about like director who's not telling you the truth about what you're doing. Then that's not a good director because you're gonNA. Crazy. So hopefully, they're telling you that let's retake that in there have been times where directors have said how about we try it this way and I'm like oh great. You know let's do that but makes sense sure I don't think bathroom kind but I don't like when this happens in the industry where you're at a party or you know somebody or you see somebody and they're not kind or you're not important enough. To be who they are around you or to be nice. You're so right. I can't stand when people are just not kind people like it doesn't take anything to be kind. You know even if you're tired it's like, Hey, they see you whatever it doesn't have to be a long conversation like I was telling you like even in what's your number? You know there were people who were just not nice and you can tell who they were nice to and they weren't nice to you. You you know what I mean, and it was just like, Oh okay. I see you but it's always interesting when the thing they thought was gonNA do whatever for their careers doesn't happen but the thing is like you just have to be kind regardless of where your career is completely. Okay. What does a trait you disliking yourself? ooh, that's a good one. I think sometimes questioning my instinct you know like questioning what my gut like was the right thing to do even if it's For a moment or can I do it? Can I push this four just questioning myself I think or allowing other people's questions to make me I. Think it's good that people questioned you because it makes you analyze in really figure out why you WanNa do something. But when they questioned me to the point where they made me feel like I can't do it and then I question my first reaction of thought could dad making me question myself and then me actually be in like. Maybe, I can't do it. Yeah. Giving people my power really I wish I could trust my instinct all the time I know that I might be a real fucking housing. I mean I feel like you've got is usually right. At the time I, think you're right like ninety nine point nine percent of the. Yeah. Okay. To whom would you most like to apologize on why Oh my God In. My adult years. I'd like to apologize to everybody I've ever slide it. And if I did it not if they felt that way Tika so understand because I hate the idea that somebody would have had a very minor interaction but they recognize me and it became something much larger in their head without my intention at all way, I would hate that their perception of me or if they had liked me before maybe they wouldn't you know. But I also think that it's really an exhausting way to live to I. Don't know if you feel that way Oh God walking around not yet. That's exhausting. I always try to say I think the best about people like trying not. To go straight to they did this to me on purpose or you know they treated me like that on purpose like I do try to say, well, you know money think the best of this person rather than go straight to the negative part right. But that's so hard to remember having minor interactions with the celebrities and any little thing but they ordered what they were doing with their per like every single thing was so seared into my brain. Oh, see took it all to heart. Well, just the idea that if I inadvertently like didn't hold the door open for you know the old man, the cane. All? You know I be like Shit Bitch. For any more I'm going to write. I know now everybody's ready about their lights liberty interaction. He's. He wasn't even that hurt. Guys, his caned Levin even real yeah. Like Oh and I could tell him was moving faster. Towards me. Yeah. I mean even just people in our industry and you know listen even me talking about people being unkind like I. Don't know what people were going through at that moment. You know so I just got think the best I completely agree, right okay. So if you could live anywhere in the world for a year UPI Harris, my dream is to buy a I don't even know how you say this paradise. is Ta would feel like that's the sexy place where people go. No I feel like I wouldn't go there learn bridge for a year in live in Paris like go everywhere travel around. God. That sounds amazing. I know in eat a lot of food. Okay. What haven't taken the time to learn about I haven't gotten the time to learn about my family history just my ancestry like I really keep saying I'm GonNa do it I'm GonNa make a family tree I. WanNa learn more about seven routes. I'M GONNA learn more about my grandmother. I just have not taken the time to get to know my ancestry yet completely what feels familiar my mother? My mother feels familiar like her just her that's a beautiful answer. Wendy. Feel generous when I see that there's a need and I felt like, why isn't anybody fulfilling it like the idea of being proactive? That's Yeah Yeah. So we take, what does your perfect day look like? Oh Man My perfect day is waking up on a beach. What time I want the whole thing. Okay. So waking up in. A room facing the beach straight I'm basing the water here the ocean. The wind like the ocean air is like coming in out wake up I order like pancakes in Bacon maybe some fruit some Orange Juice Sarah? Yes. They like artificial kind. I don't mean to be the edge mental. Yes. We're done I'm sorry. Kinda they get like the one from wholefoods whatever that one is not like the Corn Syrup with additives you go to the tree I go to the trees take my little hammer. Cords their stuff. I heard about that. Now is Yummy but then I got more expansive in my by out just wanting to be more healthy. You're right though it's that comes down to what you grew up with. It's true man what's accessible? Yes. Like I grew up with best foods mayonnaise and I am such a royalist. See I with Helman's and when I came out here, I'm like, what is this? And then waking up and then maybe doing a prayer in meditation and walking at this new thing about walking in. So I walk every day and listened to a podcast and read a book sitting on the beach eat lunch I like to chill like when I go on vacation, my fiance loves to like do things he's adventurous and he's like let's go I'll plan everything and I'm like dude, all I wanNA do is sit right here and do nothing read a book. But Teacup is that because? You have a three and a half year old or have you always been that way? Yes, it is. I have a three and a half year old and also I'm always literally at a meeting pitching something my brain is always on but before pre all this I like hiked through Nepal I went to Sweden for three as just because at my friend relate, let's go. So then how has this experience been prio like have you been able to slow down your brain are how do you? Know hasn't been very frustrating than in like where do I focus my energy when we're confined, it hasn't been frustrated because I feel like work has given me an outlet to like have some sort of structure in doing something you know and like actually executing some things which has been great with the great balances like I am never home this much. So when it first started, it was like you're staying home again you're here like more and then it became like normal. So it's like both I can do both. It's like there's no driving time. There's no commuting. So it's like that cuts out aloud time. You know once I'm done with all the stuff I. Go see my child and we're spending time together now it still exhausting because then I have to like cut myself in many pieces of like okay. Just finish work all day. Now you gotta go and give my daughter, and then after she goes to bed, you know my fiancee wants to like be next to me talk and I'm like I don't WanNa talk anymore unfortunately, he gets like the end of the stick where it's just like I'm tired like the peace with you. It's just like not talking is amazing. You know and I had to kind of train myself also to. He to be given something like he needs nurturing to in he needs love and he needs to speak in all those things. So it's just trying to balance it. You know I don't know how much is balanced but yet trying to figure it all out I'm so with you and I haven't and I don't know if I will I don't either and it's going to be balanced ever. Yeah. For me it's felt like almost getting off of the hamster wheel. Go through days where it's like. Well, what's it all for? Like? We're working on these various projects that I'm really excited about sometimes. Yeah, and then I'll go through dislike cliff of I'm just like diving down like well, what if this never ends? Can we live right and so it feels like, is there pointlessness to ambition right now? Oh, to go through those dark things but then I'm also like this kind of an amazing time my family. Is Safe Yeah we are fortunate enough to have resource yet. I spent more time with people that you know with four people betting ever that I really fuck you love. Yeah, I. Do believe that however we come out of this. That I'll look back and be like would a concentrated interesting time and I'm so glad that Oh my God i. was able to spend more time with your family in attempting to rewire myself a little bit. Right Mike when are we gonNA ever have the time to go on road trips like this like my family myself nick in eloquent on great height the other day, and we were just like, when does this get to happen like let's try to enjoy for thank God. We've been saving we have resources and all that stuff but like we've just been taken advantage of like things that we don't get to do ever like this is experience. Yeah and I sense some myself that it's starting to really reframe maion sense of La consume like do I need that bag? I don't know if I needed like I used to. And it feels really liberating in a way I. Love that just even like doing stuff around the House that you wanted to do you know completely crafty stuff crafty stuff in like fixing thing I'm so bad at all of them, but somehow I'm still kinda doing. Nick his doing outside and putting rocks in the garlic. Going to low than grab it plants in just kind of beautifying things than. I, don't know. It's just been really really cool to. Catch up things like something the the nesting idea you know if hit. We now have to like protect our space end. Yes. Let's see if we can grow with fruit tree. In case, we need fruit in the future do meaning. Like all you. GotTa be lemonade. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly that anyway for me, it's been a very concentrated time of some degrees of lot of degrees of childishness, a ton of anxiety and then peacefulness. which is very confusing and my hamster wheel. That's like what like what happens or so we all confusing because there's a piece of nesting like there is there's a piece. Oh I don't have to get up and go literally today. We'll. I don't have to read the script in like largely lines and have any anxiety in my belly about whatever's going to go wrong or not or go great. It's just like waking up to just being in your home. It's the weirdest thing. It's O- odd. It's been very hard I think for to describe. It's like this is weird. This is crazy. It's not specific enough to whatnot. Think we're all going through get I agree ticket did you go to your senior Prom I did and how was that experience on a four point? Oh grade scale it was not even one. Negative it was a negative one. Late my it in turn out the way wanted to be like my dress just didn't fit how I wanted it to be a what was a friend of mine like my guy friend my junior prom was actually probably better than my senior prom the senior prom just didn't do it for me. It just wasn't what I thought. It was GONNA be the standards that I had for myself. I just did live up to. That's an incredible to say, no, it's true. Most of the Times it's not unites like heterosexuals time it's like. You know everybody said Oh this and then you're like Oh Shrug. Your experience was anything like mine. Magical A magic carpet ride. Like a cross between space, Mountain The haunted house at Disneyland but like the fun why God Okay do you have a favorite joke? Okay. What color is a burp Where Bill You know what? I want you to do I want you to tell her that joke at every important event of her life. So. Every time. You were three and a half years old and you told me this joke I knew that you were something. I'm going to do it in everyone will be able to recite. The joke is going to be a whole thing yet at the end her great year she's GonNa go mom stop of course she will. She'll do long before that and. Then it'll come back around though when she's getting married, we like mom don't do to the toes don't. Know you know what? She'll start crying when I play video and she'll be like I. Love You so much I am funny mommy. That's amazing on it and really to do that. Okay who would you like to invite your dream dinner party be dead. Yeah and what I to be well to be added party just to hear all her crazy stories of like her fighting for women's rights in fighting for people like me and just justice and she was doing it while she was a mother. You know just to see if it's like, are we having these kinds of same conversations you know about Motherhood in balancing? Work and wanting to do what we WANNA do as women moving forward but her in that also like. Barack Obama would be a fun. One to now Michelle Michelle is well. Jetton. Know. Yeah I. Can just say, Hey, I got Iraq. I WANNA see the dinner party to. Now that felt like an intentional omission. said one. Click. Click Bait Tika said she didn't. Know? Michelle could come. Out and the kids. The whole administration. And it steak and potatoes of ebbets and Broccoli. Yes it's an apple pie. Yeah Okay in one word, how would you like to be remembered? I want people to remember me as someone who is kind and loves her friends deeply in her family loves her daughter will do anything. We'll give her life for her daughter and then just somebody who has always stood up for the little guy even in high school like when people were making fun of. Somebody who they thought wasn't important or deemed nerd or whatever like I always talk to that guy or that girl and then somebody who also changed the world with my art. You know even if the world is a small segment of people at, did it you know she came from somewhere where she wasn't even in the percentage of getting to where she is and and I've actually I got there and she was actually successful because she liked the way she did it enough that was success to her the way she did it in how she did it. Take I have no doubt that you will. You're amazing. You daily are your incredible. Thank you and like I said, I didn't want to start this off by telling you how beautiful you are but you really are you're just you're beautiful person inside and out and truly you're just incredible and thank you. Thank you so much. I love you thiga. Thank you I love you too. Bye. Love Mamola. 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Life Dot com slash unqualified for your life insurance quote today Jenny Life Dot Com slash unqualified, and thank you dear listeners your support of our sponsors supports qualified. Hey everyone I would like to introduce you to Lori Gottlieb. Lori is a psychotherapist who writes the Atlantic Steer Therapist advice column and Co host. The deer therapist podcast she frequently appears as an expert on mental health topics on the today show Good Morning America CNN, the BBC and NPR. If you want to know more about Laurie her books or are looking for some resources, we'll have all the info on our website. Hi Lori. Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm so glad to be here. So we're GONNA call, Holly. Hello Hi Holly it's ANA and I'm here with Lori Gottlieb. High Hollywood. You tell us what's going on well, my husband and I have been together for while we've been married for eleven years and together for over twelve. And even when we were engaged in dating and stuff, it was the same cycle of like he would be fine. Wife has great. Everything's on the up and up and then. If anything goes wrong. He immediately plunges into this depression and it's with the same cycle over and over where he'll be in this funk and you can't get him out of it and it's not like he told me recently like that's why. I don't keep a gun in the House has I get that down stuff and I don't think he ever really would even with our issues we have what I think is a pretty good relationship but I just don't know how to help him if he is not going to get help he recognizes the fact that he is depressed and that he has issue and over the years you've gotten hope here and there via our church and I mean I grew up being very religious not. And I do have faith and I believe in it but I feel like he needs more but he's not getting it. It's almost like an alcoholic who acknowledges they have a problem but won't go to a and I just don't know what to do with them. Holly, I just want to tell you that I was with an X. for seven eight years. Who suffered from depression also wouldn't get help and it was so hard to to shoulder. It felt like professional athlete like Oh he lost game. How do I cheer him up? WE WANNA game. Okay. So we can be happy now. Okay like that constant burden of trying to shake somebody's mood was daunting to think about Laurie probably has a lot of thoughts. Yeah I do. This is such a hard situation and I want you to know too that it's very common and a lot of people feel so much shame that they don't talk about it. So I don't know holly if you've shared this with anybody or if this is something that you've just been holding yourself actually I've just recently reached by I would call us my breaking point when I came across on instagram story where she said to send in question I was like you know what it's been rough and I feel like I have to do something because they it sounds dramatic but I like I. I don't WanNa live like this. Yeah, that's not dramatic at all I. Mean I think that's a healthy part of you. Yeah. I haven't actually talked anybody. This is my first time. Yeah. I'm glad you reached out because there's so much secrecy around depression and so much shame around it and I'm wondering how you and your husband talked about his depression before when you've said, you know this is really affecting not only you but our family, what are those conversations sound like on I pretty much don't bring it up because even if I bring it up on a good day it. Just. Sends him spiraling into the yes I know I'm dirt. I'm horrible. You deserve better. I bring you down and so I just pretty much don't talk about it when I heard that I was Gonna get to actually talk to her confessional about it. I mentioned it to him and that was the best conversation we've ever had. He is actually like well, I'm interested to see what she's going to say and I don't know what was different this time I'll tell you what was different. What was different is that he really does want to get help. And I think that what happens is especially for men in our culture, there is so much shame around being vulnerable. There is so much shame around needing help and there's this idea that it's a weakness to reach out and get help and so when I see men in my therapy practice, a lot of times they'll say, I've never told anyone this before because literally they have never told anyone about what they're experiencing whereas women will say something like I've never told anyone before. Except for my mother, my sister and my best friend, right actually told a few people but men won't do that and so I think that when he hears you talk about, Hey, you know a see you suffering what he hears is what he's voiced you which is, Oh, you know I'm bringing you down or something's wrong with me or I'm defective and I think what he heard this time was oh wow I want to work with you on this I am here for you. I think that that's really important. I'm so encouraged by his reaction to the fact that you are reaching out because I think it normalizes it for him a little bit when you can talk to him about is you're not bringing it to him because he's bringing you down per se you're bringing it to him because you love him and you care about him and you see how much he suffers way and that it's very common for people to suffer like that. But he suffering in silence and that when you talk about how It affects you and your children that it's not that you're blaming him or it's not that he's bringing you down that this is something where the health of the whole family is at stake and if he had like cancer, right, I wouldn't just say, yeah just Kinda hang out don't see doctor don't don't get any treatment right you know I think that if you can bridge that for him that this is just like any other health issue and it affects you and it affects our family and we love you so much and. I need to know that you're going to get help for this just like if you had cancer, I wouldn't sit around and say, okay, don't do anything about it. Right. But that's still feels laurie like such difficult bridge it is. But I think that one of the things that he needs to hear is that you actually have a boundary around this and having a boundary doesn't mean you're abandoning ham it doesn't mean you either do this or I'm leaving you right. What you're saying is this is not sustainable for you for me for kids. And if anybody in our family had a health issue, we would get help for it. You would want me to get help for you want our kids to get help for it and I'm saying that you have to for the sake of our family get help for this. Sometimes people have a really hard time making that initial appointment. There are so many hoops to jump through. It's like, how do I find someone? Who Do I see I'm really still have all the shame and I'm not sure I really want to go and I'm very ambivalent about it. So one thing you can do is you can call his doctor. And say you know he's really struggling or he can call his doctor but if he won't do it, you can say to him, I, want to call your doctor. And tell your doctor really struggling and get a referral for you and I'll go with you. I'll go with you to the first appointment. Just, to get over that logistical and emotional hurdle of getting in for that first time I, think once he's in the room is going to really be glad he's there Ryan Laurie either good online resources as well during this time. Yeah. Absolutely and I think this even makes it a little bit easier because you don't have to deal with do I need to find someone who's within five miles of me? Right you can find somebody who's highly recommended. New really deals with this who might be somewhere that would be hard to get to ordinarily and you can see them on zoom. You can get a referral from his doctor which I think will help with the buy in for him because it's somebody recommended by his health professional. But you can also go on psychology today and look for people in your area. You can type in depression you can type in the kind of therapist he lost as he want a male therapist, a female therapist door how many years of experience you want them to have great, and he can kind of pick and choose who's this person and remind him that the first session is a consultation. It is not like just because you made the appointment that you have to be in therapy with this person. It's simply let me go talk to this person and then let me see how I feel right and if I want to talk to this person again I could talk to this person again or maybe I feel like that wasn't the right person in I can talk to a different person. Laurie I have a theory about people who work in jobs where there is not a ton of emotional communication like construction where you spend all day with communication. That's probably directly about the work. I wonder if you are used to pattern of not being emotionally communicative. Yeah. That's a great point I mean the environment in which you're operating is going to affect how you feel about your experiencing and if he's an environment where people just. Don't talk about their feelings. They just don't talk about their struggles then that's going to be even harder but I, want you to notice something that when we talk about Environment Holly, the environment in Your House is one in which people don't talk about feelings and I say that just to make you aware that there's a role that you're playing in this dynamic. So you presented it like this is what's been going on with him. And I'm at wit's end with this. But I think that you've been afraid to really talk to him to yeah you know and you say we haven't really talked about it. In that way I, think the most you've talked about it is you know maybe you should get help but that's not really talking about the feelings underneath it right and so I think that there's something about the relationship that will improve to when the therapy. Starts that it might be that you guys end up doing some couples work together to around. You Know How do we talk about this in our family? How do we talk about other things that may be I'm afraid to bring up because he doesn't react well to it and I'm very avoidance when that happens. Yeah. Have you noticed that in other parts of your marriage yet you talk about it I'm thinking yeah, we could definitely improve. Definitely stuff that I don't talk about yeah and why you're free to talk about it with him the other things well, again because I feel like I don't like to Bash my husband because I think he is a very good husband and a lot of ways. But I feel like if it is anything remotely critical whether it's like how we're doing things with the kids either I to me, you know that I'm the one who home with them all the time. So he knows the I have a reason for why I'm doing something a certain way but I kind of want him to take the lead sometimes you know you can just take charge be the dad but I feel like even with that kind of thing, I have to be careful because if I critique even a little bit, he just shuts down. Yeah. What you're calling a criticism is actually just a request. Yeah. So there's a difference between a request and a criticism. And I think that something is going on between the two of you where either it's presented in a way that feels critical or he is interpreting it in a way that feels critical and so once you guys start learning more about how to talk about some of these things that feel really hard but that will bring you both so much relief you're going to see not just his depression improved, but also your marriage and proof of encouraging that's amazing. Yeah, and it makes sense doesn't make sense. Yeah. So when he asked you, how did it go this call? You can tell him you know what I discovered something about myself too so that he doesn't. Feel, like it's all on him because it's not right. I discovered something about myself. I wasn't expecting to discover and that's that I feel like maybe I have trouble talking about my feelings too and maybe this is an opportunity for both of us to get better at understanding ourselves and also how we relate to each other in our marriage so that we can both feel better right Laurie. I love how you approach the idea of starting therapy with hope with regard this is exciting. This is GonNa be like a fascinating journey I. Think it's so hopeful because they feel like people are so afraid of uncertainty they're so afraid of trying something new. So afraid of. Change but I feel like change and uncertainty are times for opportunity because if you don't do that if you don't venture into this place that feels a little bit scary you're going to stay in exactly the place that you're in as you've seen holly for over eleven years. Yeah and so now there's an opportunity to have something different happen and I think that's incredibly exciting when people come to me for therapy I always ask them not why are you here but I always want to know why now why this week this month did you call me when maybe this has been going on for years because I'm looking at not just what's not working but I'm Also, looking for signs of strength, right and one sign of strength is readiness. They're like I'm ready to see something change even if I'm really scared I'm ready to see something change and I think you're at the point holly where you are ready to see something change and I think given what your husband said about you're going on this call I think he's ready to see something change too i. think so and I know I referenced this a little bit. But so you know like where we're coming from, we grow very very conservative religious background and I tell people it was borderline coltish both of us have grown up being told that depression of the Senate. Thing and we don't go to psychologist because you need to just develop your relationship with God and that will solve your problems and I I feel like and I over the past. I would say six years or so have really gotten away from that and I think that's part of what has gotten to the point to be ready to acknowledge. You know what we're learning that. A lot of what we grew up with was just crazy talk. You Know Holly, I grew up in a nonreligious household and they felt the same way about therapy now but has his depression. Increased. You think during these times he kept on saying I don't think covert is really slowing down my business he owns his own remodeling business but then he did his finances and had to file some paperwork and stuff and realized how much he had not made. You've thought that he had done better and so I do think it has affected him a little bit more than he would. Realize. But. Overall, it hasn't been as bad as it could have been I think for a lot of people it was worse and one thing that therapy can help you both do is to weather the storms whether the emotional storms I always say to people who are struggling with depression. I, say you are not the best person to talk to you about you right now because. Depression distorts our thought. It makes everything seem all doom and gloom. We can't see anything from a more balanced perspective and once you start getting treatment for that, you start to see that there are lots of ways to look at a situation even a very difficult situation so that you aren't paralyzed by it. That makes really good then yeah. Laurie you are wise what? I. Think this is the first time I've been so quiet. Holly thank you again you have a Hopefully a rewarding journey. Ahead of you guys know if communication can open up that can be really exciting. Sometimes, you never know what's GonNa come out. Well I think. It's definitely a very good starting point for me I. appreciate it. Thank you holly I. Am so excited for you to have this conversation with your husband I think it's a start of something that's going to be a game changer for your marriage I really hope on. Thank you very much for your help. Absolutely. Thank you holly. Thank you Laurie so much for your incredible words of Wisdom L. my pleasure I hope that it was helpful. Have a wonderful rest of your day you to seizing.

La Tika sumpter California Lori Gottlieb Laurie honeybaked ham depression Holly Queens Los Angeles BBC New York Angelou Michael producer Skiing Jane NPR
EP120: The Brown Mom's Guide to the Sweet Life with Thai Randolph and Tika Sumpter

Babes and Babies

1:00:27 hr | 6 months ago

EP120: The Brown Mom's Guide to the Sweet Life with Thai Randolph and Tika Sumpter

"I'm awake in Mama two two boys, three and nine months I nursed my oldest son throughout my second pregnancy and went onto tandem nurse. I love the balance of staying home with my sweet boys and working halftime as a reading specialist. My Name Is T. era and I'm a miraculous Mama. Everybody, welcome back to the miraculous moments podcast I'm your host Elizabeth Joy, I'm a birthday, July and life coach and we are a podcast believes in empowering women through storytelling, an education man I've gone over. And over like what I want to say, this intro because there's. So much going on in the world right now that it's. Just really hard to know what to say. It's been a heavy week. Have a couple of weeks. Yeah Definitely a tough time. I feel like there's. I've I've learned so much the last couple of weeks just. With the resources out there in wanting to expand my knowledge and. In be better, so I'm looking forward to some really cool episodes that we are going to do on here. And I know that I said that June was going to be all dads but I had recorded this episode with Tie Randolph and Tika sumpter last month and just. Wanted to release. It didn't really want to wait any longer to release it because these two ladies are making a huge difference in their communities, and they wanted to start a pro lake community for. They call it the Brown Mama's guide to the sweet life, and they are just so much fun to talk to tie Randolph in Tika, sumpter and we recorded this before. That the murder of George, Floyd and and and everything going on. So it's. Not Too. I guess like we didn't dive into some of those deeper issues. because. The world has like drastically changed in the last two weeks. You know it's I mean not. Everything has changed, but there's just so much more awareness surrounding. The stomach racism in our country so. But. We do talk about we do dive into. A little bit of. The racism in the healthcare system of women, black women dying at a higher rate than white women, giving birth and things like that so. We do touch on a little bit of stuff, but they're just two awesome women making a difference and. They're so much fun to talk to you. I had a great time talking with them, and they're such like they're very inspiring. They're very like both of them. Have these amazing careers in our such go-getters and And it's very inspiring. I am not the best at being a go. Getter and I'm like men are so complex. And it pushes me to do more and be better and their MOMS and families and they're just. Killing it in their lives and And they share a lot with us so I'm going to go out and have. The interview. Start an how them tell you a little bit about their themselves and what? They're doing with Sugar Berry and And just to hear the passion and what they're doing, so I'm super excited for you to hear from them. All right everybody I have tightened Tika here, and these ladies are changing the game in the in community podcasts, and it's doing pouring their hearts, and their souls into so much right now, and I'm really excited to learn from them today, and to hear more about what they are doing, so thank you so much for taking the time to come on the podcast. Thank you for having us. Yes, thank you. For having us and I would for you ladies yeah just to tell a little bit about. Your community so sugar Berry and then your podcast, and just even your introduction into Motherhood, and what? What is making you passionate about doing this? Yes, so my name is Keith. ASSUMPTA I'm just introducing. And I'm an actor entrepreneur, producer and Creator Co Create Co founder of sugary. Dot Com and you know what happened. Three years ago was I had a child in my belly and I was searching for a space. I saw my likeness. You know and also not only just my likeness, but where everything didn't feel like it was death, doom and destruction for me. You know whether it was the statistics of me. You know because my parents got a divorce. I probably wouldn't make it with my Arner or simple things like dot deaths within childbirth, real situation and I, just like I've seen so much negative around black and Brown Mama's women of color. That I wanted to shine light on the things that were glorious about motherhood for us. I didn't want us to just be a community or feel like what was out. There was just surviving the thing rather than thriving and enjoying it like. Everyone else. Regardless of we think our kids are terrorists are not We should be able to say that with the same validation that everybody else has so That brought me to actually meeting ties through a mutual friend, and we sat together at a place called Soho House and we she. She ordered a blast. This champagne and I was like Oh okay. I was like in this was like early afternoon, and I was like Oh no judgment. At. The purpose was to kind of bounce this idea off her. Because she's been in the business world, she's you know Po- president at LL, which is Kevin Hart's Company and she also worked at facebook. Super Smart one in. I wanted to kind of bounce. This idea whether it was like yet. Go for it or not so much, so that's where we met and then tie until you from her perspective how that happened? Yes okay I'm tie Randolph. And, so you can tell it has a magnetic personality right so so as I am trying to be super skeptical, and she's all bubbly and and really passionate and super informed. With our point of view on why she wanted to create carve out of space for for black and Brown moms. And so you know someone who's in the passing space, and and in the digital world there's tons of opportunity to get started in that space, but sometimes scale can be difficult. And she was describing a really big vision, and our mutual friend introduced us. She kind of set it up that way, though I thought I was Gonna go there to poke holes in it and a good way right to prepare for what she would hear. The marketplace and I ended up being sucked in. You know I was trying to remain. Objective about the opportunity, but I just found myself as a mom. Really thinking. Oh Crap I. Really wish when I was pregnant. And even then at the time we both have toddlers. Her daughter is three and my son Nile is to at the actual moment. I was saying it would be really good right now to have a resource and a place where I could go to Fran about you know whether it's how how I'm GonNa Discipline Him or what products do you use in his hair? Or you know? How can I tell if this is postpartum or not, and what I'm going through with you know juggling, work and parenting, or should we take our next vacation? In and don't get me wrong. There were no shortage of parenting destinations and parenting resources. They just weren't catering to women who look like us with kids who look like ours and so I ended up. Saying pretty quickly that you know. Wow I'd be your your first customer and from there. We didn't immediately say oh. Let's partner we. I was still thinking okay. How can I help? Advise I wanted to help make the vision come to life and the more research I did about us as a consumer segment I do a lot of multicultural marketing, and had done so I never really fully understood even as a black man myself the overwhelming. Know buying power purchasing power and and general, Mark, influence that black MOMS wielded, and so it just seems. You know like a no brainer then to really pursue this opportunity one because we're super passionate about it, but also because it was just this, you know open opportunity in the market. yeah well. When you say that too I! Mean there are I mean working as Dula I. Know a lot of the statistics with. Black women dying at a rate four times higher than white women and Labor, and that's just something that is not talked about, and I feel like you have to create space to have these conversations, and for people whether they're in it to have a space to talk about it, or whether it's slake having like. Blake figuring out gusts like on the other side. Like how do we become allies? How do we help out? How does we spread awareness and education around this and and I feel like that's the stage that I'm matt in my life. Right now is like. How do I? Like. Respect, this space and being ally. In a voice, although it's not my voice. and. Those are hard conversations, but I want to learn. And we're grateful that you want to ally because I think actually. It's crazy because I grew up in a household where my mom was like what? Do it. You're doing. I like I need this. I think in a world like if eventually hopefully I know people are fighting for the Mommy. Mommy bus bill, which is like having. A with women who are unknown underserved communities because a lot of the times. choices are taken out of their hands, or they don't know about them and decisions are made so quickly that they don't even have to. You're already in a space east of just dizziness in like what the Hell is this? Let alone if you have complications so bats, what the Dula therefore to be with you to walk you through it to a hold on a second. This is what she wanted to do. You know to make sure your concerns are are met, and and so I think they're amazing. I think duly are incredible, and and we're grateful that you are an ally. Thank you. Guys are very important I. Think you know everybody has a hand in helping so? And I think in terms of being an ally for black MOMS right. One of the things one I think that's important work because we are disproportionately impacted because of a lot of systematic. sort of imbalance in equities from healthcare to You know an employment, but. In those are real topics that you know we're tackling. And there were having substantive conversations with but you know for us the empowering thing for us. As MOMS before we were moms while we are now MOMS is really showing a spectrum demonstrating a spectrum, right answers and them pathways to just become a parent, but to pair right and so i. I think that there's this default when someone says. How can I you know connect with Black Moms? It's it's generally the first. The default is from position of a right like Oh, my because the picture of Black Motherhood is is one of suffering, and and not that that's not a noble costume to give a Ham, but we actually wanted to provide. Provide a very aspirational and supportive community that says yeah, regardless of socio economic editions now an antique and I both come from You know working class to the poor families like you know both of our our moms at a point where single moms so so we get, that could be a very real reality, but that's also. We also have very different realities. Realities right now. We're both in very healthy partner. Two Parent Household You know we've been been very fortunate on sort of you know. The the socio economic had aware of different levels of privilege at every level regardless of levels of privilege privilege every privilege. Every mom deserves sweetness right now. We wanted to make sure that we gave an invitation to moms. MOMS of color to whom the invitation is not extended to live. SPEEDER lies Tika talks a lot about not just surviving motherhood, but thriving in it right? You say it shouldn't just be door. It should be enjoyed in, so we want open at that spectrum up so when we talk about you know whether it's something as simple as how to take a vacation. We try to make sure that there's an access point. No matter if. If that vacation at the station in your exploring your local neighborhoods to you know if you're traveling around the world whenever we can do that again, you know if we're talking about self camp pampering, you know. What does it look like if you're doing that? In a really opulent way of what does it mean to take five wherever you are, you know and and focus on at a farm yourself and I think when it comes to. The whole concept of the dual a lot of the times for us. It's even explain that that's an option is one of the first people that I hadn't had a Dula. She explained a lot to me about what the process was. She told me I was one of the first folks who she knew. WHO BLACK MOMS WHO throws eggs, embryos I just think even the conversation in a you having us on today, even that to me is. You know bigger Thank you for that, yeah! All Right? We're going to take a quick break to talk about a brand that I'm sure you all have heard about. Say No I talked about it in the episode. Where if you don't I announce that I was pregnant in. That is a women. Eva is a bracelet that you wear during sleep in. It tells you when you're fertile. Cycle is also tracks your heart rate temperature, breathing rate, and compiles all of this data to help. Predict when you're going to be ovulating. it's a research backed algorithm that uses this data to detect your five most fertile days off your cycle and Abe is more accurate and convenient way to track your fertility. You just wear it at night and sink it to the APP in the morning to see your fertility status for that day it also tracks your sleep your stress levels, and it's a great tool for understanding how your menstrual cycle relates. Relates to your overall health which I know, we've talked about on this podcast a lot. and I've been using it now. actually tracking my pregnancy, so I still wear although I'm pregnant and it still is tracking again my sleep. My heart rate may breathing all of that and giving me insights into my health, and then if you become pregnant, you can hit that. You're pregnant on there, so that is my go-to APP four For, getting updates on the baby, my weekly updates, and now that I'm officially third trimester I've followed it religiously on my weekly updates. I still use it to track when Vito and I have sex. I don't know why I think because I want to make sure that we still have it consistently, so I use it on the APP. And you can track track different things, so it's still a been a huge part of my pregnancy I used it before. Which is why I feel like my due date on the APP. Is a little bit more accurate because I actually found out that I was oscillating between like around day nineteen, so I know a lot of people here the myth that you don't ovulate on day fourteen, which is not true at all. After wearing the bracelet I realized I was ovulating around dating nineteen so. It was just super interesting to get to know my body before I got pregnant, and now to get to know my baby throughout my pregnancy and right now we do have a twenty dollars off discount for you guys. If you WANNA purchase an Eva Bracelet, which is an amazing investment to getting to know your body. and. It is so awesome. But you can get twenty dollars off your bracelet with Code Miraculous Mama. Now back to the episode. I'm so passionate about birth work I can. I know the people around me. earful all the time. Especially now that like I'm pregnant. My husband won't make one comment I'm like well and go on and off. All of this stuff and I could just talk about it all the time. But I'd love to dive into just the Motherhood Jordanian. How maybe? You know becoming MOMS has impacted your work and impacted who you are the woman and the importance of the message that you're sharing. I think become like who have become as a woman in still becoming. Oh, my selfishness is gone. Yeah I mean. Billy Ella has been dynamic in my life because. In one way, it's like I've. She's I. There's no like. Oh I can just you know leave? I can just go to drop of a dime and hang out with whoever I'm hanging out with or or go to everything as my life is carved around her schedule. You know what I mean, and so that's one way. She has infiltrated my life which. Is Great because I'm actually I can't procrastinate as much as I used to. But also just like. There's this just sense of. Read recently like. Having a kid is like having your heart outside of your body, and it feels like. I will do anything for my daughter. You know to exist in a space for me about pushing her to be a free child like I don't want her to have. A, lot of the baggage that I have or have grown up with and I, want her to walk in a store and not feel threatened. To be like hey. You know what I mean whether she has the money to buy something or not. It's like Zimbalist things, but like I am my mission for her and other children are let them be free. Let them let them play in their own little existence like. An also you know growing up. I heard a lot of like. Do as I say not as I. Do you know I'm your child, you know? You guys are meant to be there. We were talking yeah. That hurt not hurt and for me, honoring her feelings and I'm not saying every little thing I'm like. Yeah, what can what can we do? But, when she's frustrated about something, and says mom really frustrated, and or she comes back and says I. Want to apologize I mean I feel like Nick and I. my fiance are doing something right like honoring her moment of whatever's going on inside her little body and her emotion, so it made me more. In tune with by feeling than how I'm acting around her as well because she she mimics what I do, sometimes like the other day. She looked at me as Chicago Oh God. Help me. That's. God Jesus Healthy! War aware of fully, crap. Get it together. About, perfect. K. Not? You, know you just made me more in tune with me and it's made me more in tune with emotions. You know so that's been my jury. Larry. Yeah I mean I think from me. One of the things and I was thinking about this the other day. 'CAUSE 'cause I both described ourselves as career streit, and so I made a joke I was like we are the most unlikely of MOMS to start a parent company because I had this idea of what perfect moms look like, or what mom's look like right I was so focused on my career, and you know sort of mobility that. The concept of like Oh being home by certain time or like she was saying being completely selfless or It just felt very different, so I thought. Oh the baking in the craft and I'm not really that kind of mom super attentive, but it just. Know doesn't have a very Martha. Stewart Esq manifestation, right? So and and so made me, but what, but what being a mom has the now because I had been so focused on war, it made me think particularly in my work about parents in the workplace and really advocating for more care in grace for them, because you know all around working with people who are mothers in you don't think about the lives that they're literally responsible for all of the ask that are on them, or the millions of emotions in needs I'm definitely a lot more sensitive to that, and I think you know having struggled with infertility prior to conceiving I also understand the privilege. Of Of Motherhood or parenthood, by by whatever means you arrive at that, but it's just instilled me with the level of great gratitude, and off really right at in my case I feel like the literal miracle. ACCO bird. But also just how? Under educated I. think that you know women are Abou- what those pathways decisions. Central Hiccups could be along the path. Know as we get more options to sort of like delay or forgo or explore alternative. Still find ourselves. Having a more difficult time of it and I know for me I. was that had just had more information prior to like I? Didn't you know when I was? Immediately from saying Oh one day in knowing nothing about my, you know sort of fertility profile. If you will to having to learn immediately, what Am Age, FFA Jen you know. Freezing eggs versus ovaries I via or donor eggs, and it was overwhelming to meet. Even understand that those would be essential hostilities. Hurdles are pathways so so I would say just being more empathetic, but all in and then what and feeling sort of an urge to either help other MOMS or or inform. US as much as possible yeah, no, absolutely there definitely is a big lack of education out there. I feel like people. Don't figure it out until they hit that roadblock. You know it's not like knowing that we have these different options. It's like okay like now. What and then you have to research and figure it out? I'd love to talk real quick about being working moms and I i. want to ask the question, but I wanna know how you feel about the question when people ask you. Oh, you're working on that. How do you? How do you? Think are your partners? Don't get asked that question ever ever nab. It's crazy. Yeah! It's crazy. And I think. I mean obviously women are. It's assumed because of the history of women in this country or around the world have been caretakers right and the people who have the child and who stay with the child longer in all these things, which is very true but also what's happening in this world? When women got the you know when war happened, and they actually started working. They know when it's in the household, really as much as before cuts, you now wear a lot of women are now the prime like the the yeah. The leaders of their household finance wise united mean making more money than ever getting more education than ever so For me, it's just been. It's weird because I love to work a lot and I really enjoy. People are like what is your hobbies? Do you love sometimes? Try to create them. Don't. Like to lay on a beach like Harvey. But like I love to create, and I love to see the execution of that happening and and so for me. I'm usually avenue the house probably like. I'm from five am to nine PM at night, and sometimes I get to put down a miss out on certain things of but for me. I don't think there is balanced I think it's going to be a give and take if you are you love your career. You'RE GONNA you're GonNa miss out somewhere whether I can't go to the the jobs picnic, 'cause I wanNA. Hang out with my daughter or whether it's. I WANNA. I WANNA be part of a work project and I'M GONNA. Miss out on something with my daughter, so I don't think there is any balance I think you're gonNA. Miss out on something I think. Where the magic lies is saying. Yeah. About the pathway to be okay with it for you. For, your job is so for me. Thank, you got you're not going to be part of every single moment, and that's okay I think of. It has made me very okay with that. God. For everything, man. In a bit. And it's almost like one of those times like that's. It's the wrong like not to your point, not interested in the question right because it owns implies that like. MOMS have a hard time balancing, but the truth is whether it's easy for them or not. It's just been something or for us. They're not. It's been something that has been expected. If you know a working mom who has a whole kit at home, right like the majority of moms are good moms. And when I say good, I. Don't mean some sort of like idealistic sense. I mean they're. They're putting in the effort. Their character, their children to carrying their families, and so a lot of times that question is loaded because when asked particularly from either non moms or for men the idea is. Are you gonNA drop one of these balls right like that is really the question when the better question. Question is, are you caring for yourself? Because you know leaving the workforce maternity, leave and coming back the ideas you have to double Dutch back in Austin. To make sure the it's there's not the perception. You can't handle what you were handling before. So the balance of it all is really about like. We're not going to see a lack of productivity it doesn't. It's not really caring about how. You are. Because women are expected to be such caretakers, but I think particularly to the point of becoming more produce better time management for me, personally coming more empathetic, those those characteristics make for the best leaders for the best CEO. So you know I think when you're searching for folks to climb the ranks unlike. For a period of time, and I feel like this is changing. Women would often get looked over for opportunities or start to start their growth, whether you're an entertainment or behind the scenes It was a really it created real ceiling afterwards at the last thing. I'll say I. Don't have any stats for this, but I wonder. The percentage of black MOMS who are stay at home moms historically, because if you look at just sort of socio economically like we were talking about sort of inequities and imbalances, I would, if I had to guess, and this is again, no science, I would assume that there are a high percentage of us were working moms historically in this country just just generally speaking, thinking about the history of African Americans I come from a strong. Of working. Women who sometimes you know had periods of stay at home, but most of the women. My family begins to recount work in some capacity at some point so so I'm much more interested in the question about. Are You caring for yourself? Because I find that moms and particularly ended up expanding their capacity to care for others. It's like not only. Are You doing your job? You're still taking care of your household. And now you're taking care of a child, and you're generally investing more in your friends. Then your you know from a compassionate a time. Time perspective than in your your partners. If you're in a male partner, you know the depending on the type of partnership you're in, so it's really like okay with all of this. Going on I know you're GONNA. Juggle right, it's not balanced, but but are you taking care of yourself? Yeah, I love that I love like changing and that's why I said. How do you feel about those question? Because I feel like it, it can be very irritating question, but I didn't look at it in the light of will then it's kind of saying like. Can you actually you know like? Are you actually bound? which are you going to drop or whatever and it's like? No I mean women. We have compartments in our mind that help I mean i. feel like right now. Pregnancy brain, so there's like nothing. I feel I, have pregnancy, brain and I'm not pregnant. Man Yeah. No, it's. It called Mommy Brain. Relies right right which I've heard. Is the thing as well so yes. Yeah, I mean I feel like it's definitely. A tough question because like I said you're the partners never really get asked that and And I love the question of how are you caring for yourself? Because if you are working antiquing care of your kids, and doing all these things like, how do you take care of yourself? Do you guys WanNa share how you do? How do I take care of? I think for me. It's just your. Great, bath! You know it's simple. You realize as you grow up. It's the simple things in life. It's no more clubbing and standing on a table dancing. It's more. What's it a bath and have time to myself and light a candle? Maybe buy some flowers for myself on eating chocolate. You know I think it's like for me. It's the simplest things watching a whole show. Carl. I think you know I. Think every mother out there or mother? Can understand like your time your time management is everything and you just sometimes can't find moments in the day for yourself, so that's why I always say sometimes, it's just a little things. I agree this isn't a shameless plug, but I've actually found on our podcast. The sugar which you know, he's Oh. You're going to do. You're starting a company and you've got these other jobs and you've got these kids, and and and now adding one more thing, but just the camaraderie of other moms who are going through similar experiences, and being able to let your hair down and laugh, and have a non kid non-partner moment where you really just get to indulge whatever we're feeling that we gore experiencing that we. That has has been a huge relief so I think just. That any any part of sweetness is just a bit indulgent like the best part of every day. One is is one like when my son wakes up in the morning, and you get like you know that I. Hug and kiss because he's not super cuddly all day long he's on the move, but in the morning you can get a couple of hugs and kisses. Then you get that time again right before bedtime and when the house, but right either before after that moment when the house is completely quiet, no-one's up yet or in the house is completely quiet. Because everyone is asleep, it's like. I can hear. If you can do that and I've been been changing habits lately I've been going to bed at ten o'clock which I'm a night owl like my senses. Come on late. Sounds like you know I mean they come on really. My creativity. That was like you know what's he could sleep. We just had somebody on our podcast. Recently with like sleep is the best thing you can do for yourself for your health. For your body and I was like I've been saying so late I'm talking sometimes two to three. Am just my thinking and. Writing and all this stuff, and I'm like I'm GonNa go to bed at ten. o'clock I've been going to bed at ten waking up at six thirty seven am. Nobody's off and walking the jaw. I mean it's been incredible. So if you can try that once or twice a week that about. It's amazing. Yeah. We're going to take a quick break from the episode to talk about one of our sponsors. Are you guys still looking for the perfect father's Day gift? While I have the perfect website for you, and that is uncommon goods, they are amazing. I discovered so many products that I didn't even know existed until I went to those website, and you can create a wishlist, and I know I went there when I was shopping for my mom for mother's Day I told you about the recipe What is it chopping board is on there. That was so cool. That I loved. And now I'm looking for father's Day things but. In the midst of that I ended up making a wishlist for myself. 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Leave a fair living wage, and they don't sell products made with for feather or leather, they some small businesses and local artists so right now uncommon goods knows finding the perfect gift can be hard, so they WanNa make it fun and easy for the listeners go to uncommon goods dot, com and get ten percent off your purchase. If you text Mama's two, five, six, three, two zero. That's uncommon. GOODS DOT COM and don't forget to text Mama's two five, six, three, two zero for ten percent off now back to the episode. I would love to dive into your podcast a little bit. you guys have brought. A lot of amazing women on there and I'd love to just kind of hear how your communities responding and why it's important to get. Like women in leadership on to have these conversations. Yeah like we've been super lucky with. The guests that we've been. At, fortunate, enough to to book and. I just think. Sometimes I like to tell people confidently like Oh, I just ran from there. I just came from therapy. Because sometimes, what happens is when you hear somebody story, but they don't look like the thing that you expected. You. Don't you feel less alone? And I think a lot of the times especially. Black Women feel alone because a lot of times we don't get the chance to say. Oh my God. I am so tired of the pile. Then what can I do to refocused? You know whatever it is, you know we have experts on to talk about hells in talk about mental health, and talk about I via or if somebody who single came on, and said well I froze my eggs. That's only the second woman I've ever known in real life. Is Insane. And, so I feel like you know every. Ties earlier socio economic place that you are no matter where you are, it's aspirational inspirational. It's encouraging its laughter. So I just feel like we needed to hold grace one another on this podcast. We need to hold space one another and we needed to just let each other off the hook general like girls. You are doing just fine. And why is like I wanted it to be like we are in a living room, and talking to your girl and listen. Everybody is invited to listen to it, but it's just perspective I feel like that. We haven't really been in the space to dive into an indulgence that's. Sugars. And every guest has given. The listeners and us at every single one at some point, this sort of a high moment or kind of off the hook moment. Right where it's like. Oh, you, too. You know whether it's we had Sarah Jake's Roberts on foreign upcoming episode, and she talks about being a teen mom, and a single ended divorce a and then going on to find love and this beautiful blended family, and be the first lady of dry or You know we've had ratio web on. Who's you'd the height of her career and saying okay? I'm GONNA take a pause like start thinking about fertility planning. Planning or someone like you know tm, Maori who who was very vocal about women, not being bullied with their bodies, after after childbirth and I, think for all of us. It's kind of this moment where Oh if she's going through it two or if if she doesn't have it all figured out. You start to feel much better about yourself. As as a mom, and as a woman, and you start to think Oh, I've got this or I'm GonNa. Get through this or I can do that, too. So We've found so to your point about your question about the audience response Get we get great feedback across social in reviews, but I think. What where we think that it's resonating, because every moment every episode we ourselves ended up in the situation where it's like I feel so lifted after that. Right Right Yeah, that's good though I mean it's. It's always super nice to to have inspiring. And just even me like. How can you guys I always like I? Get when I guess on that like. Are Inspirational too I'm always like you just feel like so excited for this episode to come out and for your listeners to listen to it and here the information and be. Like Oh, I've been there, you do here in motherhood that S- it can be just so isolating and lonely, and so building community is so so important. For sure, That's actually really true even about the company, and maybe that's why sugar barry is so. I can't speak for teacup, but just special to me. I thought it was a good business idea. We talk about content commerce community as being the key pillars, but I didn't. How much I would need or did need a community of moms. You know there's so many things I wasn't talking about. I was experiencing them I didn't but I'd never set out loud because they're either wasn't an occasion, or you can't talk about it with your girlfriends who don't have kids where you're like. Oh should I be considering therapy or I'm really struggling with disciplining my kid or I'm just tired. You know like those things don't come up and then all of a sudden when you're surrounded by people with similar experience, you find yourself sharing and just of releasing so that community element of I think you're right. It can't be underestimated up. Yeah Yeah, no I I'm a big believer in community and I feel like with the quarantine stuff it's been like. I was telling my husband. I'm like I for my mental health for my soul like I need to see people like. About like go. See Yes? So. I would just love to hear your guises if you can think of like a specific. Thing. Just, the best parenting or motherhood advice that you have received so far. Aaron Thing Motherhood by. Ty you're. Your so much I. Don't remember any of it right. There, too because this. Is this one in I? Hate that I'm not thinking of one from the podcast right now, but one and this is someone who we work with on the finance, side and She's a grandmother as I was telling her about the idea, and she said to me, that's great because their whole spectrum, answers and I've quoted her nauseam that was that's true like there's no one right way and I. Always think like well, even if their principles that were going to our south about my marriage like there could be things that work for us, but I don't get relationship advice because you're not me married to that person, so it's. A general universal principles that probably apply like good people right. Can't tell you what do doing your relationship. We could share my experiences in hope that they our you, but so so that whole concept of whole spectrum of right answers empowering, and then practically I. Had someone give me? A girlfriend of mine gave me a registry when I got pregnant and she told me these are the things that you need, and I got everything on that list into. It was like the non registered registered. She hears I'm only going to give you the stuff that you'll actually use. Got, all of those things. I purchased her things myself. And then I registered and got all this other crap. Only use the things on her list. We got to put that on the list. I mean to see this. Else you won't use even your crib like a for the first couple of weeks. Just like at least with my it's for kicks and giggles. It's more for you than for them, so that lists would was so helpful to me and I wish I would have stuck to it bur-. Beta so That's good. That's good Yeah, I! I think my mom's advice would be. Where you are, you're not GonNa have everything together you know in one fell swoop. Jess just became a mom like literally when you did. Not GonNa know everything. You'RE NOT GONNA be able to integrate your life with their life as quickly in your mind as you think you are, and that's okay. You've been in your body for longer than you had a kid. Probably so and that's the start where you are and be I would always say be gentle and kind of yourself, sometimes so violent with ourselves and our thoughts, and what we're doing wrong or right I would say that and then. Yeah for? For I think just everyday advice They grow up so fast. Don't don't pile up. Don't tell a bunch of jug tally you. I feel like I can have a giveaway in front of my house. You know what I mean. I'm what we're starting to do now with Lsu three every time a toy comes day. We're giving away. We have her pick out its way to give away to a hospital. Good. Tika. There's one where you have to share because when you said this I don't know if you've ever said his advice, but it's true and I think if you can let people off the hook this early than we would may not get down the path of thinking. We're doing it all wrong. You talk a lot about like that magic moment. When you first see your baby, it may not. Happen, but it's. Like I'm ahead of C section on like. Is he good? Yeah. But even that moment he could talk a lot about it could make you feel immediately like Oh, I'm failing at this. Moment of having a child, and you might have that magical movie moment where you see them in your. High personally just look at her, and she looked at me I like. It. Okay and she do me like girl. Put me down. Honey. That moment was just like i. Like a date you're like. We're GONNA. You know. So, be easy yourself on that. Yeah Yeah for sure. I recently interviewed a cosmas maternal mental health. Awareness and so I interviewed. Maternal mental health psychologists, and I was talking to with her, because I feel like I've already gotten some mom guilt because I. I'm six months pregnant and I just don't feel the bond and I'm like I feel like I feel like that. Like I love birth. I love birth work I love being involved in I can't wait to give Labor pregnancies kind of lame to me like it's just it's like. Our first episode. Episode! Listen to it. Yeah for sure. Because I just like man. That's like people I. Call My show you so excited. I'm like. I don't. I mean. He they're. Having it right, not pregnant. Being pregnant like the carrying isn't for everybody you know, and that's what we want to let you off the hook with like look. I'm excited to have the baby, but. You know pregnancy. Some sounds and people are so scared to say that because of the halo. We put around it. And I'm grateful that we get a chance to be impregnated and all that good stuff that doesn't mean the carrying of the cause is like for everybody and indifferent people here remember. The seeger one of our guests, but not everyone loves the same phases right like different people are stars in different phases. Maybe you know they're women. We've had several guests on. The podcast were like pregnancy was a breeze. I love pregnant. I could be pregnant all the time right, and then there are others who are like. Yes, save that part I just love it when they're so little and you know for me. I'm like okay now. You're a toddler region. Communicate this. So I just. But by the way I think that that it's just caused. I found when I think I'm doing something wrong and I'm really nervous about it just builds on the inside the around it, so if I think I should be farther along with the look I used to feel very uncomfortable, driving him around, and then I got so caught up in the end of that that it just became. It spilled over into other areas because I thought I was supposed to be more confident in it, and so I would just say like. However you feel is how you're supposed to feel. You're not a monster, so why? Because we're judging ourselves so much. That's the I think the violence. We were talking earlier because those could become violent thoughts like to say Oh, I'm not bonding with my child. All of a sudden. It's an accusation on you as a human as a horrible person who doesn't bond with this miracle. No I had like extreme heartburn for so there was a whole trimester where it's like I experience my. is like a lump in my chest. It's like okay, right, right. For sure now I'm definitely gonNA listen to you guys as podcastone because they. Need to hear some of that. I would love to ask you guys if you have a go to resource that you find yourself going to whenever you have motherhood questions or Just anything you know if there's like a specific website or book or another, and you can't say your own resources to listen and. I think it was just more so why mom cause she's had the most experience with kids you know. She rates five of them even though we have some. Differences of Hauer, raising the child I think it was her or a friends, but. I. Think you you literally learning on the job? What works for you works for your child so? I would say you know. Yeah, it was mostly my mom. Same and again not a shameless plug, I won't say are site or fad cast, but that was actually the the whole sort of founding principle. There wasn't a site I went to a lot of them and I won't call them out by name. I bought a lot of the books. And even from the beginning when you don't see someone who looks like you on the cover, and if the experiences don't sound similar to yours at the babies, don't look like the baby you're about the have not that. Every child has everything that I. Consume has to be about black children parents, but with there being so little of it, it that too can cause you to feel disconnected from the experience because you're saying okay. Where do I go from my resources into two? There was no you know. It's assembled community now I would later. Later. Find out about like some facebook groups and stuff, but at the time it was just so hard to find and most of those that we've discovered as been because like a writer who's writing for us or something like turned us onto. These different resources included like mental health resources for Moms, and but again where that lived is like this is the place I could go every day to be sort of like my guide to resource I just couldn't find one Yeah, so I mean basically. This is why you've created your own. Right yeah right. I WANNA. Thank you lady so much for coming on and. I sharing with us I'm super excited to check out your podcast. Where can people find? Follow? Learn more about you at. So for me, this is, you can go to for instagram. It's at Qassam. And for our website, it's a the community on instagram is at the sugar berries, and you can always go to our site. A SUGAR BURIED DOT COM. I. And our podcast is the Suga as Uga, so you can get it on apple podcasts. Stitcher any place where you're listening to download podcasts. And you can find me on all social media channels at tie Randolph at G. H., A. Awesome. Thank you ladies so so much I'm looking forward to. Again listening to that podcast because I definitely need it. 'cause there's also like shame around it to. Because then it's like will. You should be grateful for that, you could. Have you know like all this stuff and. I feel like I can't admit these words out loud. Pregnancies lame. You, you will do yourself a favor if you listen to the just if you want to the first episode, I'm telling you it will let you off the hook. That's awesome. I definitely will I'll listen to it today. But thank you ladies, so I know that even though we're in like weird times right now like people are stuck at home, more ed still like people are also busier than ever, because he all of a sudden you are. You're half to work an MOM and your husband's in the background and you're like whatever's over the you know it's just like. Somehow chaotic, and it's still hard to get together, so I really appreciate your time. Thank you so much likewise, thanks so much. Thank you so much fun, thank you. And I like I said I had so much fun talking to see these ladies and I can't wait to see what they do next. I did end up listening to their podcast and. And it was really cool like it did. That just even that first episode hearing that like you don't have to love your pregnancy. Love. Your baby was really reassuring for me I know that I've just had hard time bonding and. And stuff like that, so it was, it was so nice. Listening to that I also know that I had asked them during the interview about like I'm in my own process of learning to be an ally in like I said. This interview is recorded before all the recent events and I feel like I've learned so much more and been able to. To get involved in some stuff in my community to support Black Dulas and black midwife semi community. Supporting their education to make. A difference in to be able to provide dulas. For Black Women going into labor and delivery to have an advocate for them to help. To, help the craziness that does go on, I mean it's. I know that. For me, there's I would be scared giving birth because the statistics because of the statistics in our country so. have been able to find some local places that I can donate and support and be a part of an super super excited about those partnerships and. In any of the AD money coming in. From the podcast or from instagram this month I am donating percentages of it to give back to communities. To black communities right now who need it to supporting justice for George Floyd and obviously may passion is motherhood and pregnancy so. Most of it's going to be going to help. Supporting Black Midwife Dulas to help. People get the resources that they need. When it comes to birthing, because when you have a Dula, present the way your way less likely to have a lot of these things happen, and even more so if you're able to afford. Or have a black midwife then then. Your chances of that risk decrease drastically. So I'm super excited to be able to partner with. With, some people in to give back into the community and Yeah, man. What a what a crazy! Time. It has been I. Know that it's this last week. Last, maybe two weeks I've cried almost every single day. I, just feel like the things in the world seem so heavy and. And it's been very eye opening. Recognize. The privilege that I've had and. and. To, realize the ways that I can be better do better and. In raise my kids better and stuff like that, so I'm super excited for some upcoming episodes. We are going to continue on with our DADS for the month. But I am going to be doing. An episode with a midwife that I'm super excited about going to. Try to get to. There's a few people that I've reach out to on to talk about how to act actively raise. non-racist children I find that Hasn't really been a conversation that I heard much about. Excuse me until like the last couple of weeks. Then obviously, that's something that I want to be able to do with my kids, and there's tons of books and resources so every shout too few people to see if they'd be interested in coming on and talking about it. And I'm just super excited. I'm going to continue on. Like before I'm going to be bringing some different experts on his I'm approaching my due date to talk about. A lot of different things. To talk about placenta encapsulation and delayed cord clamping and giving your baby the first bath, and all different things included in birthing plans and talk to people about why these things are important and. What you can do to Make sure that you have those options where your birthing. anyways elevate guides I hope that you were doing well I hope you've had some really good conversations with your family and friends this week and I will talk.

partner Tie Randolph Dula Tika sumpter George Floyd facebook Soho House Berry Brown Mama Elizabeth Joy US Keith Labor producer murder instagram Qassam
Tika Sumpter

Going Through It

31:35 min | Last month

Tika Sumpter

"This is going through a show about women who found themselves in situations where they said Nope. No thank you and they made a decision to make a change in turn something around I'm your host Tracy. Clayton. I knew I wanted to be in the movie. Since I was a kid just didn't understand how it was going to happen this Tika sumpter ticket is a model producer and actress who's been acting for over a decade now but years before she would go on to get our big break on the daytime soap one life to live tico was an eighteen year old black girl trying to figure out how to get into college college was never really spoken about in my house to be honest it was like finished high school. So Tika apply to Marymount Manhattan. College for the first year things were going rate. tickle was enrolled in acting classes and she was on her way to becoming the big actress that he dreamed of being until she got their bill. Bars I get this bill and it says ten thousand dollars. So ten thousand dollars to seventeen eighteen year old who has no money is you can say it was ten million dollars because it was it was impossible that I was gonna I was Never GonNa pay it. If there is one person who knows about those private school build it is me is like one minute you just Maya Business Guinea education on and whatnot, and then the next minute you're being told that you L. Thousands and thousands and billions and millions of dollars I mean the horror and also the nerve I can't learn this way stressed they were like so you either pay this or your classes are going to be dropped. My mind just was like, okay. Let me go and see how I can fix this. Let me remedy this and I went to financial aid and they're like, yeah, no more financial aid your parents supposedly make too much and I'm like what does that mean they my mom? Was a corrections officer at rikers has five kids, and so she didn't have it and I called my grandma called everybody to ask and that was the last time I said I will ever ask anybody for money because it fell. So defeating in here's where things shifted something kicked in for Tika it was just like fight or flight I was like. Okay. I, have a certain amount of time to get out of this apartment fine of roommate on craigslist and get what's the quickest thing I can do to get money waitressing and that's how it all kind of again. Then this kind of like a film in the Macon Goggles, the college graduates bill his own hail no I gotTa make this happen somehow. Had A college bill to pay, she was tired of sleeping on floors I needed to get a job and I needed to be myself closed myself and have shelter but I think my look on New York was just it was a weird sense of excitement like I don't know what's going to happen while Tico was waitressing. She was also networking and she was party come on she'll eighteen and youthful that all that energy and one day a random conversation with even. Who was the owner of a popular club changed everything for her one day he stopped and he's like, Tika what do you WanNa, do like what are you? What's your dream and I was like I'm pursuing acting and he's like, do you have an agent and I'm like no, he's like, okay. There's going to be this woman as agent meeting meet you at this office and I want you to meet her. So you guys can see if you vibe or click whatever. GOTCHA popcorn like Islamic because this is getting good. This is real life New, York New York drama unfold near me now, right so Tika Stevens advice and she marched right on down to Aden's albums because she knew that an agent was the one thing that can help open doors for her and open those doors fast. She's like, Hi, I'm Rita Michaela what I mean and then she's lying she's like Oh my God, you're beautiful you beautiful my God. So what are you? Tell me about yourself and she gave me a chance. And if it wasn't for Steven, who introduced me to my first agent and saw something in me, and first of all, just stopped to ask a little black girl like girl what do you want to just be partying like, what do you WanNa do you know and he asked me and that's how I got my first agent. Now these are the kind of main in New York stories that I absolutely live for as anyone who's been even a few hours in the city can tell you this place is Rudolph. It can be really hard and it's certainly not for the main of heart but deacon new how big a dream she had and she went for it anyway that kind of persistence and faith is Hella inspiring young. I was so excited to hear how Kaz journey continued after she got that and how all of these life lessons are now skills that she cannot wait to share with her daughter. I love it. Hope you ready to be inspired. So I'm very very fascinated. By your hustle nece and first of all first and foremost because I cannot tell you the speed with which mob lag as would have been something with wheels going home to my Mama if I'm in New York City, you blame. What? Tall to me about what those first jobs for you like these you find the job that like helped you to stop worrying about money finally, it was weird because you know I you know picked up jobs here and there I remember one of my first big job. I remember like yesterday it was curve perfume. You can probably buy it into Wayne read right now still. March down at a dollar. or it's he's. Shout out. But and we were they were pulling us in this taxi and you know I wou I couldn't believe I was in the middle of times. Square. Being pulled around to do this commercial and I remember my mom seeing it for the first time and she was like, what? What like this is real Lake? Like wait you can't. Amazing right, and so that was like one of my first jobs I remember and then I remember doing. This after school like don't do drugs kind of show with actually somebody who used to be on. List that I show that America Ferrera was on ugly Betty. Yeah it was becky new me Mbeki. Newton were on this like after school program thing we were best friend every time, and so I I just remember like all these like jobs accumulating, and then the one job that like I never had to work another waitressing job, which was my first job ever was. When I booked one life to live and the obviously the process has changed I remember circling newspapers to go and find my own acting jobs. Even though I, still you know I had agent, but I was just a hustler, it was like Oh. Did you see this? Did you see this one and I'm going to go to this open call all these things? And now, yeah, it's a little different but I feel like there is nothing. Better than somebody seeing you talking to you and feeling who you are because I feel like that's how I became such a chameleon like I feel like I can be any room and talk to anybody because of my life experience and because I'm just I don't know there's a light that comes on and that probably comes from. Shit all the struggle that black women have to do a lot all the time. So ma'am, all the coding balancing in and out spaces they can match brave wouldn't back in IT'S TO A. Ma'am way too much. If Alexandra. Earlier you with a doubt well, we were both talking about like the way that it used to be like the way our mothers and grandmothers used to just like basically living and surviving. This is like you go to school either give or get a job if you're working on like you do not quit that job, you have another job and I feel like creative fields like acting especially like all of that is like out the window, right? Like the process is different where you ever were. There was ever a moment where you were like you know what I'm on a limb that like. My folks have not been on with this acting thing. I wonder if I am GONNA follow my face because I don't have like a five or whatever to fall back on yet I think that's true. Most of your acting life until until you. Can Continually Compete and win it out every time until it's consistent job I think you're in even when it's a consistent job, we've seen those those shows were like Oh my God that's amazing and it's Gone But it's different. It's scary but then there's a different level of gone. It's like, Oh, well for me when I booked one life to live I quitting my job and walking out because I was crying because I felt so abused mentally and just verbally you by the patrons that were visiting and I said, I'm done with this I said, God I have done everything. You told me to do I've been auditioning been taking classes I've been doing everything writing like everything. And living in apartments with no furniture like I've done it all. Just and I'm like I'm so tired like speak to me and at the time actually I was dating this guy who was an editor and he knew how miserable I was and he's like Tika just you know he's like go folly which has never happened to me in my life. Could he was like look I can I can make sure we're good. You know he's like go and follow your dreams like give yourself three months to like really go in like. Focus everything you can on acting and I'm like. I got I got the bills and the finances Ma'am Ma'am. Yes. I have had anymore questions number one way this is not the right number two single number three. Husband and he's He's not my husband and he's no longer thing. He really just. The just most women in general and most black women don't ever get somebody saying go and follow your dreams I got. You don't worry about it. This is what I watch reality TV honestly, and let me see well housewives of all the rich people to him because I will never. Never know what to say slake or you or you will or are. You know we're an option or you just have all your own stuff and you like I got it I'm out. Absolutely. Correct negative thinking ma'am. Jesus name no you. But yeah. So he was like I. got you know I was like, okay. So I'm crying down the street or whatever. This is before I get home before he tells me all these things and it was like movie my agent calls me and she goes you booked one life to live It was like a day or so later and it's it's a sunny day. It was summertime and she's like she's she goes you booked one life to live. You are a contract player now and I was like. God is this what it takes me screaming at. Yeah. So I didn't even need his offer you know what I mean at all I didn't even need it but the fact that he offered I was like. That is thank you. And I booked job literally days later. Amazing. This is such a great segue to talk about money because like I don't know what I would have done in that situation where he was just like you know what money got it. Don't worry about it. I feel like I'd have been like thank you, bud. Just in. Not Right 'cause like the thought of just like not having money coming in especially in the city is terrifying I. Don't know. What your relationship with money was like before. But like once you were starting to like get like paid like capital paid how did you learn how to manage it? How did you learn how to have money I learned that I didn't want to lose it and I didn't. I didn't want to be struggling like I was like I knew that. I'm a saver in general like I buy things. But like when I buy something it's specific and it's And it's like functional real estate. It's like, yeah sometimes I'll buy shoes but like shoes aren't my thing like I like sneakers really like not like I'm not standing on line and I'm not paying two thousand dollars for repair sneakers like never just wouldn't do it but there are things that I like right. But I know that too shall pass and it's not going to benefit my future I. Don't know how I learned because I was never taught. Here's your chequebook. Here's your just knew that I never wanted to go to a grocery store again and start counting how much money I had in my account if I had enough to cover it. and. I. Remember the anxiety being in line counting like how much I had in my account or being declined or sang try it again or taking stuff out of the of the car because it wasn't enough. So who I knew. Yes I knew I did not want to be in that position and even now I have some ptsd with that even though I know what I have in my bank account. I have. PTSD sometimes going to giving my card and being like. Oh. My God is GonNa go through. I think it was just the fear. The air taught me how to manage my own money. Yeah. I. Just it was just so much. I didn't know about money when I was in college during white one four most expensive years of my life. I'm just writing checks them where they go into and I don't know yet. For those credit cards that they were standing out front. This is. Replaced the Glenys what it felt like. So. My question is what lessons about money will you teach your daughter especially considering everything that you were not taught when you probably need to have known it and found out later like what are the most important things I know don't spend money you don't have lieu. Don't count on a check before is actually your bank account. Balancing a checkbook is important. Signing your own checks is also important always yes. So those are some of the things I would teach ela I mean, I, it doesn't surprise. Me Like just this conversation alone and just like reading your story it doesn't surprise me that you were able to push through heaven ten million dollars student while Mike at all because like there's definitely like a spirit in hustle nature that you have to have How can you take care of yourself because being like that high energy and having that drive sounds really draining exhausting. I just put myself on a ten PM I must be in bed. I was on Oh my God. I- bedtime. Exactly. I was going to bed at three am and it was bad and it wasn't healthy so that because I wake up earlier right and I feel alive and I go for a long walk now in the morning I, make sure I have I'm not a big breakfast person but I make sure I have this. Meal that I may and I make sure that I I take. No. Bats. Sitting down soaking baths, not disliking no soaking baths, Lang whatever amount of money you have like it is so important take a second for yourself I know. People have a lot of responsibilities. But if you don't care for yourself, you really can't care for anybody else like you can't do anything else let alone hear how people. Yeah and you're working in a state of just going all the time and I understand that mentality because I had to do it and people have to do it and my mom had to do it but she had our nights out you know where she went out and I was like what? What is this? What is this? What are you wearing? What's going? Right exactly I feel that in myself, I don't even ask you. Guess. What about moments where like you're like in your head and you have just like not feeling confident gray like you can do it or just like kind of doubting up there is there a pep talk that you give yourself in those moments you just kind of kind of didn't feel it until it goes away. Yeah I have those probably once a month and then all one. Jealous. A. Habit I have strong. Yes. Wrongs and stations of like everything is not working. You know nobody likes me. It's like these strong sensations of like. Oh, like like just like not feeling worthy of the life wherever you are that you create your for yourself for the job that you actually got more excited to have it when I got it. Like you just feel like everything's falling apart. And nothing is working and nobody likes you and just all these things and it's like a wave. It's like a deep wave and if I don't get up and move like I found myself if I don't. Exercise or walkout or walk around or listening on td Jakes or something right he gives me my pep talk I'm like I I ain't got it. Got It. You don't hang outsourcing is what my therapist taught me when you ain't got it. Somebody else done a thing that my therapist told me about the little voicing ahead that like super like fuss me up in a good way. She was like, well, what do you think voices like trying to get you to Judas just want you to fail does just want you to just like what I was like. Well, I think is keeping me safe from. Things that I'm scared of and She was like what if you say to the voice? You know I see what you're trying to. You're trying to help me. Thank you. But I got it and I was just laying that were Oh, you can do that. Oh my gosh I tried it and it went at least once I need to practice it but yeah is. I'm GONNA use that. Let me know how. I see what you're saying but no, right yes I you're now but. They are coming voices like not negative. It is trying to put there's into epic. There's a difference between intuition and then negative thoughts acting your brain and overwhelming you. So we all know we need to listen to intuition but sometimes, I'm talking more about like the negative like strata demon right I'll just. Got, you cannot stay you might leave. Okay. Must speaking of demons in eighties and such I have a question for you right or how hypothetical situation for you. So yeah, let's say that said Deity is like We're going to have to Redo the whole college period of Your Life, right? Okay. But I will let you either do it the way that you're already did and drop out of school or you'll be able to afford to stay in college which would you choose Oh man that's hard because I do WanNa, Finish College you know what I mean like I always am unanswered by people who have went to college especially like a a stoically black university and I'm like. I wish I went to Howard or spelman are one of these things and that experience and the amount the beautiful minds that you're surrounded with. But I honestly would rather relive my life because it created such a force for me like I. Don't feel that way because of the stuff that has come to me feel that way because I feel strong. Inside like Neil, I can make real decisions about my life for my child. I feel like I can really teach something I feel like I have stuff to give right right and so I I would relive all of it because I wouldn't change a thing you would not change one person I dated one person I just had a romp with you know. One person I just kissed in a club that I. Whatever I wouldn't change not having furniture not being able to pay rent being anxious I just feel like those things created who I am and it just made me for a stronger person and and more equipped to like talk to L. About. What's necessary in Life I had a feeling that you say that but yeah. I mean, I'm it helps me to hear people say that they would do the heart shit all over again because it kind of helps me get through hearts it like tomorrow you know just like knowing that there are people who can make appreciate all the tough shit that they've gone through because of what they got from it. Always, helps you keep going so well, it makes you feel less alone. Yeah. Right. Head. Less alone. At one more question this is a bit of advice for someone who is not me at all My name is tracey. This is my friend Stacy I. Get? It. So you definitely know and understand what it takes to push through tough situations and how hard it can be to do though, and so my friends safety you know she's got a couple of career curve balls throw natter you know which happens in life. But when this happens to stacey, she kinda gets a little discouraged and you know it's just Kinda hard for her to just like get back up get back on the horse and do it again especially because a lot of times when you fail hold on quality feel like you fail you lose. In your ability to keep yourself safe into like push yourself through things I'm at least this is what safety says. So the question is, what advice would you give her to keep pushing forward? Even though everything in her body is an Sich are black as down down do something else like just just it's an option you you can sit down, sit down what would you tell her I would tell her. What is what is the voice telling her to sit down and do as a telling her to sit down and rethink her plan? Right, is it telling her to sit down and just don't follow her dream is telling her Sit down get this steady job and follow your dream at the same time. While you're working your car while you're working, you're also working your craft or whatever that you want to become right I. think it's really important sometimes if you have a second to really sit down and think about what you want. Rather than just kind of going all over the place right even though I was all over the place in New York and knew what I wanted I literally remember making dream boards. You know what I mean like I knew I wanted I might have been all over the place but I knew what the goal was so I would say. What is your biggest dream? And fight for it like it's nobody's business and here's the thing we trust that the air is going to be here tomorrow every day right? And we just you gotTa know I feel like stop being so violent with ourselves we tell ourselves all these thoughts in things that we are similar in their enemy and we talk ourselves out of things before we even get started right and I would say, yeah, and I would say just being abrasive with yourself and try to love on you and and gentle be more gentle care because the is going to be abrasive enough. We don't need you and the world being like I. I'M NOT I. Don't I can't I woulda Coulda Shoulda but Abdullah like no like really really really sit down route what you want right out a plan right continue to work your job whatever you're doing know that you are child of God man and I don't feel like these whispers would be whispered into you or all this talent of whatever way it manifests would be put inside of you just to be wasted away and I'm not saying everybody is going to be a super star or at the top but. They're meant to be used in whatever way that comes out the Washington and so I would say. They're stacey. Stays you've gotTa Museau Abby this Arab. Knows he is That, was great. That was great. I'm always amazed by like. How much stuff starts but just having a plan and how often I or stacey just doesn't have a plan you know. Plan, a novel idea oh? My God a plan is a plan will help you pay off your bills. I'll tell you when before I had any money I remember having. A ton of debt from credit cards from like applying for credit cards in front of the college or just like debt and I remember bill collector calling me and it was I could tell you as a black man and he's like listen we can get rid of all of this stuff. He's like we knock out one at a time and literally I had every bill lined up and I, took the the the smallest bill. I. And started paying down and I started talking to throwing ten dollars fifteen dollars add and then little by little until I paid off that ten thousand dollar Marymount Bill Bennett had fill gray lake and I got to pay that off because of one life to live but. I'm telling you a plan will. Allow you to knock out. So things you thought were just an uphill battle for the rest of your life Well I feel motivated to do plan something. I. Don't know it might be a bowl period but be like step one. Out The. Of. Great Beautiful. I WanNa know what you're up to now I hear great things about Schick area and there's a podcast with the people need to know the people need to know my business partner and I Launched a lifestyle brand called sugar dot com and it's a celebrating. Brown moms in motherhood or if you're at the intersection of Career Motherhood and just life right three years ago I had a child and I just didn't see myself in a lot of places where motherhood was I think Black Motherhood was just about surviving and not thrive yes. Well, I'm sold I don't have kids and don't think I want any but this fills like. where I need to be like just I'm sold I'm in I mean is what I'm trying to is. Just such A. Like a little ray of sunshine inside my. Blanket for. I doing the thing and I'm really proud of you and I, love watching you and you know such a fan seriously you're doing. Oh. No you're fantastic and you're brilliant and so just make sure you tell yourself that every day seriously really are I will I will work on a really really. Well, thank you. Sell tickets some really big risks in doing what you had to do to make her dreams come true in I would like to think that I am capable of doing the same thing. But I'm gonNA just be real. I don't make great decisions all the time and I got enough trouble just being a black woman in America. You know. So not really a big risk taker over here but I wondered what my homegirl thought about taking risks. So we got together over the Internet because of cove it of course and I ask them. A big. Mistake. What's yours everybody? Technology. I mean I am always. Really. Just junk. Oh Wow, I mean when I was twenty five to. Kinda lift on amount in I had six hundred Canadian is in my bank total. Anyone I met people on the claim who ended up leaving with for a year. I didn't have any for. House the policy and they left me money. To live. So I am old about risk. Some of the best things in my life have been from just like hey. I'm looking at Brittany's face and she's lay. Off. This thing I like I will do it. I will take the risks with the whole time. I'm like Oh God, like I'd like, no one's making me do it right is all by my choice and I'm like, ooh girl. I'll know by this decision are like Oh. This doesn't feel good I. Don't like it looks like I'll do it. I'll be complaining the entire time my head like my head is very much like girls I'll do this but like my gut is like Press forward, there's a way. When I look back over my life like they're really big rift that I've taken. But like I will stay in the house for I don't know how many days if I have a feeling that like somebody's outside who? Try to set me up or somebody. Try to kill me back me house. You know what I mean. So I guess the way that I'm thinking about lake risks because there's the risk of doing something big that will enhance your life and the risk of like going zip lining which. I don't know maybe I can be here question but what I know about myself. When he says. The risk need rebranding does it if it's like weaving to see Libby? From taking a job that you feel confident in. Doing big moves. They are like career progression on life progression but people certain people see that as a seem to rebrand based invest in yourself that's not race you'll believing in yourself yourself believe so I think it's just that risk needs rebranded. Oud Remiss Red Table. Over here. Thank you so much for tuning in and hanging out with me again, I wakes. Me When you come and say. Going through it is an original series made in partnership with mail chimp in Pineapple Street Studios, executive producers for going through it, Genoa Berman, Max Linski, and a Garish Shagay shout out to the producers of going through it. Our lead producer is Jackie Quinn production by just Jupiter Engineer Andersen our editor is the root beer to our Nella ice cream and her name is Leila Day. Also thanks to the voices that you heard sound in this episode hey DJ. Let's hear those names grigny loose. Richardson, our original music is bad. I would anthony and our engineer is Hans. Brown. Special. Thanks to eleanor. Keagan for being the Alpha origin of this tire party saying touch you can find me on social such as twitter instagram at Berkman poverty cleave remember to tell your friends and family about show make sure to rate and subscribed going through it on apple podcasts by wherever free podcasts are sold. That's the show for this week. We'll see next week.

New York producer Tika sumpter stacey ptsd editor craigslist Marymount Manhattan Clayton Tracy Macon Goggles Rita Michaela Maya Business Guinea Steven America Ferrera officer Tico
Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) | Jeff Fowler

The Qwipster Film Review Podcast

13:46 min | 10 months ago

Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) | Jeff Fowler

"Hi Welcome to Equip. Stir Film Review. Podcast my name is Vince Leo. I am the author of the Film Review Website. Quit STIR DOT net. I invite you to check out over. Four thousand reviews anytime you want. Dot Net is where to go key. Wip E. R. Dot net. Today I'm going to be looking at a film that is out in theaters called. Sonic the Hedgehog of course based on the video game franchise it also diversified into. Tv shows. Comics you know you name it. They've probably done something with sonic on it over the last twenty nine years or so this is a PG rated film it does have some violence rid humor and brief mild language. Run Time is an hour and thirty nine minutes. James Marsden is the main star. Jim Carey in a sizable supporting role. Bench words provides the voice of sonic the hedgehog and Tika sumpter Limaj Dube. Adam pally. Natasha Rothwell Neal McDonough and Melody Neiman are in the film Jeff Fowler is the director and the screenplay credited to Patrick Casey and Josh Miller now sonic the Hedgehog if you have played video games anywhere in the last three decades you know. It's based on the popular video game that was created by Sega largely seen as an effort to try to give to their console which was the Sega Genesis at the time and their future portable systems. Some sort of mascot and basically flagship platform game to compete with the likes of. Mario for the Nintendo. They had one before that they were trying to make competitive to. Mario called Alex Kid. That didn't quite take hold probably because it was very much in the same vein but they created sonic to try to make. It seem like the Sega. Genesis was definitely something that can give you fast moving action and somehow it had real horsepower compared to the Nintendo system at the time that was back in Nineteen ninety-one but since then there have been many sonic the hedgehog games that have come out. It's become a billion dollar property for SEGA ended up selling to date over three hundred sixty million units of its game on a whole variety of platforms. And that's worldwide not just in the United States now in the game. Sonic is his blue furred hedgehog. He can run. He can jump but especially he bursts into. These insanely fast sprints and he goes through loops and collects rings and takes down his evil enemy. Dr Ego Robotic also known as Dr Egg man depending on which the Games you're playing. They're basically the same character now. That kind of international phantom makes sonic the hedgehog very ripe for a motion picture release. Maybe it's even overripe given that there really has not been committed attempt to capitalize on Sonic's popularity in the nearly thirty years since its breakthrough onto home consoles. Mgm had dabbled with the idea in the mid nineteen nineties but nothing ever really developed into a actual production. Though I never really went anywhere at least until two thousand thirteen when somebody at Sony got the green light to put it together Sega. It began to attract young new fans. They released a couple of video game releases back in two thousand seventeen. Sonic Forces Sonic Mania. Definitely trying to draw in generate buzz for its twenty fifth anniversary. It also built some new fans pudding some cartoons on television in two thousand fourteen. Sonic boom the. Cgi Animated Show for cartoon network was very popular other popular channels in international markets also carries sonic boom and it would become cartoon network's top rated show among kids who are aged nine through fourteen and eventually made its way to. Hulu and found yet another crossover audience there now. The idea for this film started back. Twenty fourteen producer neal h Moritz was. Attached he collaborated with Sony. Pictures animation to try to come up with this live action story that featured sonic the Hedgehog as a CG animated character. They're gonNA put it on earth and save his own. Cg Animation Company Martha Animation Planet. Where it's going to collaborate to get the look the motion of the character. Just right Evan. Susser and Van Robichaud were originally slated to be the screenwriters but they were having some struggle with the ideas. Sony wanted them to make their scripts darker and Edgier they envisioned. Pg Thirteen rated film. Their rationale was that sonic the Hedgehog fans were all adults now and they would want something more than this flick. That was aimed strictly at kids. They wanted a movie that was as mature as they were. Now in two thousand sixteen Tim Miller. Who's Blur Studio? Had made collaborated with Sega on a couple of sonic. The hedgehog games in the past. Tim Miller became an executive producer. That was hot on the heels of dead poll. He had dropped out of doing deadpool two. He paved his longtime collaborating partner. Jeff Fowler to develop the concept and potentially directed if they were given the green light. The go ahead was given twenty seventeen by paramount pictures. Not Sony. Paramount had just signed merits with a first look deal after the financially struggling. Sony pictures had lived their rights to the franchise laps and paramount ordered a rewrite of the script. They wanted it to be much more family friendly and they wanted to get it released for a pre holiday release date of November of Twenty nineteen now in the lead up to the release back in twenty nineteen little bit earlier in the year a few months before its release date fans of the character had a bit of Uncanny Valley uproar they saw early pictures of sonic the Hedgehog as it was going to look in this November twenty nineteen released complained that sonic had beefy legs he had a shapely body. Looked like they were trying to make this cartoon character go from cute to a little bit too realistic subsequent pictures reveal. The Look of Sonics face drew more derision from online sources. Social media went nuts with it fans felt like Sonics is were too small compared to was video game counterpart and when the trailer dropped there. Were even more complaints because his teeth. Look more akin to human than any kind of Hedgehog. A bad word of mouth began among all of these social media circles that this new version of sonic the HEDGEHOG was looking to be hot garbage due to the rampant backlash though Director Jeff. Aller who gets his first live action feature after a respectable career in animation. He came out on twitter to officially announced that the film would be delayed three months and it was going to be released. Valentine's Day of two thousand twenty because they wanted to perform design changes to sonic the hedgehog character to make more palatable to this fan base and this viewing public expecting the iconic look in addition to the design changes sonics voice ended up getting changed to reflect more of a juvenile than an adult in his qualities and the new luck received. Much better response when the second trailer came out and the iceberg of rejection was successfully avoided although it did beef up the total cost of the film to over ninety five million dollars not counting fifteen million dollar ad blitz that included a prominent commercial played during the Super Bowl. Now the plot once you get past the weird backstory of sonic fleeing his home World Doodoo possessing powers that make him a fugitive carrying a bag full of rings that are actually portal's two dimensions. It's a typical road. Movie adventure comedy. We've seen many times in a variety of different forms in cinema over the years. Sonic ends up teleporting to Earth specifically this fly. Spectacular of greenhills. Montana greenhills not the famous Green Hill Zone from the original game. Sonic Epping countering the sheriff who so bored with the town's lack of crime that he's taken to having conversations with his donuts his name is Tom. Wachowski SONIC DUBS HIM. Be Donut Lord. He's hoping not to make another day away spy waiting patiently to nail someone who may be speeding down the road he gets that speeder in sonic the hedgehog. Sonic clocks in at a speed. That makes Tom Question. Is Radar gun in fact like about three hundred miles an hour? Tom Dreams of doing some real crimefighting one day. He has a goal to move him and Maddie his ever-supportive Veterinarian Wife to San Francisco to join their more active police department and it turns out when sonic loses all of his other rings through this open portal atop the city's transamerica pyramid the city being San Francisco. He'll have to tag along as well. However when Sonics energy bursts this emp ends up causing a massive power outage to the entire Pacific northwest region of the United States. The government suspects there is more at play. Maybe even an alien. Soroush they send in their secret weapon. Dr Robot Nick playbay chorus Jim Carey robotic say mad megalomania genius with this Army of sophisticated flying drones. Who initially tried to find a way to exterminate the blue alien thing once and for all robotic chases Tom and his new companion sonic out on the open roads. Sonic luckily happens to know plenty of English and a lot of pop culture references besides as they make their way to California as far as what happens after that. I guess you can probably guess but I won't spoil late if you really don't want to know. Sonic the hedgehog is graced with a likable ensemble of actors. James Marsden here. Is Tom. Wachowski beating out a whole host of others? That had been inconsideration now. Many other people were also given a look or maybe you could say listen for the role of sonic the Hedgehog at least the voice anyway parks recreation actor. Ben Schwartz got the nod. He provides his snarky personality and playful banter to Sonic and very welcome and actually works out. Pretty Well Jim Carey. He chose to do the film because his daughter. Jane was a huge. Sonic the Hedgehog Fan. As a kid he thinks his community into this villain role to portray Dr Yvo robotic. He improvised a lot of his lines that he was given in the script and makes this one of the rarer modern-day comedies that actually good use of Jim Carey's talent for wacky off the wall characterizations is probably as most appealing. I've seen in some time in a comedy to side characters that also steal some laughs from them are Maddie's poten- sqi sister. Rachel who's persistently tried to break-up Mattie and Tom at least to some funny moments and Tom's partner at the police station Billy Rob played by Adam. Pally he actually was one of the runners up for the Tom Role. He says the dumbest things but a lot of those dumb things are very funny now. Sonic is so fast that when he's in action we only see a word and a king of flying papers in his wake. Kind of like the road runner in that way. Sometimes we see him normal speed while the rest of the world is in Super Slow. Kinda like quicksilver from the X men films and the slow. Mo Scenes are pretty fun to watch. Sonic SETS UP. A lot of clarity in those scenes through this barroom brawl scene where his fast action ends up. Squashing a melee in the blink of an eye but he ends up in those moments setting everything all in his favorite kind of like Sending up domino's for the big fall adults may find a lot of what you see. Sonic the Hedgehog to be a bit familiar many other films featured an other an alien. Or what have you with special gifts who came from outer space or some sort of fantasy realm but this is a movie that's primarily aiming for an all ages set maybe even skewing a little bit younger nevertheless I think some made comparisons between sonic the hedgehog and the road trip movies. That were very common in sonic's heyday of the nineteen nineties. That may be a deliberate choice there because there is a lot of nostalgia for the nineteen nineties not only the road trip plot but sonic the hedgehog himself and Jim Carey at the top of his game yet again. If you're nostalgic for the nineties I think you'll be smiling throughout now along those lines. I think kids are definitely going to find a lot to like and laugh at within the film to keep them entertained. There are just enough pop culture references to older movies and TV shows that their parents will probably understand. Maybe even appreciate to get them through those formula antics. That might seem a little overly familiar. I wouldn't say this is a great film but at the same time it's not really striving for greatness it striving to be fun and humorous enough time to entertain audiences throughout. If that's what you're looking for just a few smiles a few guffaws and a good time especially if you're a nostalgic for the character sonic the hedgehog. I do think that sonic has enough juice to keep pace with the rest at the cineplex so three stars is what. I'm giving. Sonic the HEDGEHOG. Three stars out of four means that. It's a film that I would recommend if you like this kind of movie if you're a fan of sonic the hedgehog or if you like these kind of innocuous all ages family films and don't really want a lot of high overhead with a lot of drama or things that you have to think about above and beyond what's on the screen at any given time. It's a breezy watch in. I enjoyed watching it. I used to play. Sonic the Hedgehog back in the Sega Genesis days so I do have at least that familiarity with it and I ended up liking it in the end so three stars out of four is what I give. Sonic the HEDGEHOG. If you have your own thoughts on Sunday that you want to impart you can reach out to me. You can find my contact information my website that's a quits due dot net. Wip S. T. E. R. DOT net. While you're there I do encourage you talk about ninety s algae if you're a nostalgic for the films of the one thousand nine hundred eighty s. I would encourage you to check out my other. Podcasts called around the world in the eighties movies and you can find the link to that and my website. Webster Dot net is where to go. You can also find links to my twitter. Feed facebook page instagram. All of those are adequate ways to get in touch with me and until next time. Thanks so much for listening and please enjoy your time anytime you get to go to the movies.

Sonics Jim Carey Sega Sony Jeff Fowler Dot Net James Marsden twitter United States Tom Adam pally Tim Miller Wachowski Maddie Vince Leo director partner Tika sumpter Nintendo
Google Podcasts redesign rolling out

podnews

03:22 min | 8 months ago

Google Podcasts redesign rolling out

"The latest from our newsletter at pod. News Dot net. Google podcast. Getting a redesign. The New Google. Podcasts is rolling out to a handful of users prior to a wider release. It includes auto downloading and moves Google's recommendations to a new discovery tab you can also Q. podcast episodes for playback. The APP has already been downloaded more than ten million times poltrak largest podcast analytics company in the US is released weekly. Podcast data showing podcast download an audience growth including the effect of the corona virus. We've got the data. Now it'll be published later on the project website and updated weekly. Also another exclusive. Vox next to shed a reporter early with pod. News focusing on the impact of the corona virus in Italy Spain and the US Spreaker Fox nests podcast hosting platform is the number one holocaust host in Italy. So it should know and as we highlighted yesterday. Vox See some categories in significant growth polio. Who shared a report on podcast consumption behavior in the Middle East North Africa? We linked to that from our episode notes in our newsletter today hop hop on which we reported Multiple Times a copying and republishing. Rss Feeds said to us on February twenty fourth that any an all duplicate fades were unintentionally exposed have been removed as today. Still republishing feeds from certain PODCASTS. We've contacted by team again to ask for what they're doing. Apple's APP store is to expand to support another twenty countries in two thousand twenty. See what they did there. That's typically means new specific. Podcast locales as well and BBC. Sounds the corporations podcast. App has launched an APP for connected. Tvs The BBC's Dan Taylor what is quoted as saying more so now than ever. We want our services to be available on whatever devices. People want to access them on from android phones. Of course it's a year since the BBC blocked its podcasts from Google podcasts ensuring the corporations podcast which now include important health related information from the UK public service broadcaster unavailable on that platform and Paul caused news CNN. Espanol has released a Spanish language. Outcast Corona virus reality versus fiction follows the success of the English language equivalent. Abc Australia the Public Service. Broadcaster is now listing selected podcasts on spotify. Pray Corona cast. Podcast is on spotify right now. Pandemic check in is a podcast to help us cope trade tips and check in with one. Another has new from western sound. The sugar was launched yesterday. Described itself as a brown Mama's guide to the sweet life with hosts Tika sumpter and tie Randolph. I haven't the faintest idea what any of that means. The hilarious world of depression a show about clinical depression with laughs returns for season four part two and telescope is a new podcast focused on the personal stories of people all around the world dealing with the profound and wide-ranging effects of the corona virus. And there's plenty more and all the links in USA subscribe at puppies dot net.

Google US BBC spotify Corona Tika sumpter Middle East Public Service reporter Apple Italy Dan Taylor Italy Spain Spreaker Fox North Africa CNN UK
Mornings with Keyshawn, LZ and Travis (HR 4)

Mornings with Keyshawn, Jorge & LZ

43:45 min | 1 year ago

Mornings with Keyshawn, LZ and Travis (HR 4)

"Here we go there we go. I'M NOT GONNA lie I was. I was waiting reading. I was waiting. I was waiting. I was hoping for silver spoons again and still just we'll just listen you once our sheltie just impera. I see your Bra. Oh is that the video that he sent you see I see man. Do sit the video L. at eight thirty in the morning hanging out. I guess we don't have a job well or good one. That is the job well. It's the different time he attended smarty and you know what else you got to work for a key working for more right now no keys doppler in Costa Mesa seventy four degrees this morning talking about right Jeremiah get warm because get to high eighty three today by the way run yeah. I think it's going to be a high of something well. Yes it will get its ties point and then we'll start to cool exactly how the you know the sun and the earth and the planets ready whenever you're ready. We're talking to remix doc that less so Kaku Cockatiel do know that last night I was watching ATV. No no I watched mix not blackish but the other one knicks rush knicks issues is interesting. I like black endless. It was hope for you. It was it was interesting because it's a black white husband yes and in the black wife the mixed kids and you know just taking you through all the different things. I'll start thinking about my kids and stuff just all the different things that go on in society when you are a biracial family and your kids and the curly hair and funny looking glasses and people look at them and teasing them because they're complexions is different different but it was a really educational show in very funny because it was a lot of the corny go ahead. I didn't say yeah. You just looked up in looked at me. All of a sudden it was real corny so the sister kept having this seven straight you know and let them know. Hey Yo hold on them educated. I'm this and that because the father of the the the father of the husband obviously you know. He embraced the grandkids because that's his grandkids but everybody everybody else Kinda at a distance okay. It's one of those deals is like okay so I'm messing with Jennifer the whole time so that's how I feel a a Lotta Times you do to me. Leave me alone. That's not true. Did you guys watch altogether or no. We were watching my kids who are in the other room. We were just watching it or offering around being mixed and you're watching this reading a doing homework or something like that big mistake you know so it initially. It's going to be a hit though when I first saw I was like okay. Now we pass this whereas like is edgy to be like who enter razer consciousness talking to you but we gotta remember. It's just not talking to you. That's when I saw him to everybody in the eighties right yeah yeah yes so it's talking to those that we continue to deal with on a daily basis that we have issues with like your video talking to them. is is allowing the the the Eagle Rock people of the world to understand that this is is different time period in society today in Zack. Morris is the dead yeah and isn't it the woman the another cast member from saved by the bell. I thought she I didn't watch the show but I thought that was the big to do they. We're both Kasmin from saved by the bell. I knew that the DAD is about the Bill Maher Paul Mark Paul and then who is the young woman the this is a new show. Els got to check it out. Guys have had gotten her from Tika sumpter. That is her from saved by the bell. That's the extras. That was the black actress because only had one. I think there was just one black women of her. Hey guys why that's her. I think the other woman that was on that show had some real real serious problems on saved by the Bell I think now this is my wheelhouse things. Don't mess with it yeah. If you say to your line of the morning you're listening to AH WE'RE SO QUEBEC REX Ryan couple of nights ago a couple of days ago unloaded on Baker Mayfield that he got bamboozled on the steal your word key and he led Baker Mayfield. Here's Rex Ryan on Monday. I don't get I love to be an offense coordinator here. I've old back them. Jarvis Landry Niche ub Bob Baker Mayfield yeah. I know he's overrated as hell but like this. Here's the the team knows you have tackles and so are we going to make an adjustment. You just going to let them get beat one on one all day long. Can I briefly go back to overrated as hell if I may Baker Mayfield as overrated absolutely absolutely look. I bought the Dang height right but not to the point where everybody's saying he's GonNa be the league. Mvp what are you seeing that. He's not doing right now yeah but you know what's he doing right greeting. Zama look at this. Here's a guy right now. That is one read guy and then he's going to improvise. He's gotTa realize you were one of the a slowest guys on that field. When you take off with it okay the other thing the ball's not coming out in rhythm he staring down guys and you're not that accurate down in a field. Donald is on the other side of the ball. Why isn't the bulk coming out of the way they had to hold the ball. I never saw all right. Rex Ryan hit him hard rex. Ryan said that he's overrated. He said that he's a one read guy. He says that he's the slowest guy on the field and that ball's not coming out on time KC etc.. Let's stop right there for Sega before we hear Baker fire back at him is Rex Ryan wrong because I'm listening on yeah sounds about right. You know he's not what happens is is. Baker may feel the top quarterback in the NFL NO IS Z goes to being the top quarterback in the NFL. No is he close to being one of the guys that flame out in three or four years yes in nest would in nets would has rex. Ryan talking about him because the hype the buildup the commercials the all the things that I tried tale ill Z. Early on in Rosh early on about Baker Mayfield in Cleveland Browns as a whole. You got a guy yes. He's funny got the head man he's on front cover of magazines magazines all this cool but at the end of the day when you not three and oh enthralling for three fifty a game this is what happens to you now as I evaluated from day one. I've never thought he should have been a number one overall pick but that's just me and I and I'm and I'm sure I'm not the only one Dorsey the general manager of Cleveland felt that he was worthy of the number one pick. I didn't feel that way selected. Somebody totally like for my money. I if I'm if if I'm a select I might have taken Lamar Jackson. I might have taken somebody else but not him because he never ever show me that he we had the ability to be what they wanted to be. When he was at Oklahoma Yeah you WanNa heisman and he caught the Barney throwing the phone. He played against those big teams. I'll start the beating night win in Ohio state other than that. It was kind of like okay. I get the hype behind him. I get that he he he's Chris in the front cover magazines. That's all cool but it's that play on the field man when failed do get ahold of you. He's not as he's not fasted Aaron. Donald no no. He's not he's he might I'm bet you he's not faster than some some of his offense align PAS. The COP was built like an offensive lineman. Were really from the cops. That's a little bit different but you should be faster because 'cause you scared wearing shoes and he got caught. I is he Baker Mayfield. Perhaps over exposed. I I think that is the difference between exposing high cute words over exposed them Christine Malawian yeah so I think Baker Mayfield is over exposed in a sense of he is everywhere but I don't think people talk about him like he's a top quarterback. He just covered. He's a top quarterback and I think those two different things are not as due to my left in that you ooh. Oh man as he broke the record. He's I'm telling you okay man but but if you're a number one overall draft pick travis and you break touchdown passing record as known overall draft pick. You should get some attention well. This is why part of the reason he gets. The attention is because when someone says something about him he says something back back to Rex Ryan. Throw whatever the wise words Freddie Kitchens if you don't wear orange and Brown don't matter and Rex Ryan doesn't have any colors right now for a reason awesome so it's okay. That's pretty great as part of the reason we cover him the way we do because him going back. Rex Ryan said yeah he can have his opinion but there's a reason he doesn't have any colors and we're cool. I mean that's that's sharp yours. In that was cute. It was but the overexposed part of it in the breaking the records first of all is not that many rookie quarterbacks that actually play okay. They ruined usually rookie quarterback's. Don't play paid manning play. Many got beat to death. I mean for a car. Blake's got beat to death or you. GonNa throw picks when they hit you upside your head. I mean that and just as part of the growing pains but the fact of the matter is he eclipse. Whatever little record was set okay and then everybody took that in ran with it if if he played the entire season okay. Maybe maybe those numbers play the entire season. Maybe maybe he breaks the fifty touchdown L. Mark set by because that's certainly would rogers saying assuming look the the comeback of he doesn't have any colors is pretty sharp and it makes you should go kate. Baker Mayfield is in this and he he's really good at this game but he lost me at the jump when he says you know one of the brilliant things that Freddie kitchen says hold hold on hold on Freddie Kitchen said something brilliant the guy that ran a drawn fourth nine from the plus forty. Two Guy threw the ball four times in a row inside the ten a yard line with the game on the line and three time outs. That's that's the guy that's dropping. Pearls of wisdom on you. Slow down and all of this together is the bigger problem. It's it's not what wreck said or what Baker said about rex. It's this part. This is Mayfield talking about everybody paying attention to them. It's something you really have to be conscious of because because you're surrounded and environment we hear a lot of things stuff pops up your phone stuff is on TV. People talk okay. This was my greatest concern about the browns. Commit it not the Baker Mayfield wears. A headband says crazy stuff. Not Somebody like rex. Ryan says always overrated the Brown seem so hyper aware of what what everybody Senator Bill Belichick and the Patriots the Rams Shamsher. They're aware what people are saying but they don't swim at every day. The browns seemed to swim in this controversy in noise everyday but it's new to them. It's it's it's new. It's exciting and you got a bunch of young guys. WHO's paying attention to it? Who embraces is it. Who wants to be put in that position? Odell Beckham came out and he said the same thing he respects Ryan but you know he doesn't play for this team. Blah Blah Blah like you don't even need to have that conversation bakers already said what he said Rick Sale he said and just let it go leave it alone. Get ready to concentrate on the team that you're getting ready to play because because if you drop a zero there then now what is going to be more issue's. ESCO come to bear and it hasn't even started to the point with the receives he was waiting to receive is starting to get frustrated the wide. I'll send him and got first-rate yet. ooh. Now we're talking whose birthday is from the Brady. Bunch birthday is not however fifty years ago today this show premiered on ABC. That's right. I still love very well. Everybody loved Brady Bunch. I'm trying to think what sister Oh. That's an easy one sister sister three girls three boys Bobby Pete. Yeah it was Greg Greg Greg older corral but don't forget to meet Alice Yeah Alice. She was a bad employees. No she always worked hard. She did all the work there you see her. Here is a bad employees. Yes alydar cars yes so every time is in a shot. She's cooking or cleaning no yeah butcher those sale butcher. Florence's drinking coffee and reading the newspaper telling you tone right and then what was the daughter's name. There's three of them. I know I remember Greg and Bobby Compete Marshals. The washer was Otis. Jan Jan Cindy Cindy Cindy was a young one and Cindy. She had to listen or the parents right. What was your most memorable episode food. Oh that's a good one when they went on a trip they saw the spider it's the White House living on it and that made everyone's scared of trans even though they don't have 'em Yep Yep. That was a good one. The Grand Canyon was good. I loved the one when she got hit in the nose or the football. Oh that's a good one. Something suddenly came up. I remember when one of them went through puberty or someone voice was all heater when it's time to they had a band once right before more than once that was like every fifth episode Shannon and what US guys want to know. I will say this. I'm disappointed in your eyes. Oh because there's something in a rundown than I thought by now so you would have celebrated Serena Williams thirty eight years old. Oh no not that but hey where to go yeah. That's true. It is birthday happy birthday Serena. The princess bride was release thirty two years ago. Okay so that's a movie that you would think that. I would like right like if you said if somebody asked you L Z. Do you think travis likes the Princess Princess Bride. I don't get it. I've seen it a bunch of times. I don't get it. I just it's inconceivable yeah. I it's weird and it's kind of odd but but I don't I don't know if anything more than ever crossed my lips yeah every single time. I don't care where in the movies on I'm stopping happy. Would I just found out within the last year was that Oh girl from house of cards is in it yes Robert Wright and I love that is thought you would've would've liked that part better by the way she looks better older to me. She's beautiful. She's a beautiful woman. Giant killed to my father prepared to die. I get there at their iconic lines and scenes but did do you laugh when you watch it. Yes yes really yes S. Key view princess bride seen it isn't good thirty two years ago for instance. Bryan came out. Put up a PO-. Oh I usually Kinda like quirky weird about baseball so I take you didn't like that. I did like space balls. Mel Brooks but Mel Brooks is far more slapsticky an obvious Okay this this was. This wasn't an obvious comedy. It wasn't a slapstick comedy. It's kind of an odd comedy yeah corking. Anyway Melvin Gordon's back. Gordon is back with the chargers. What didn't work out super grade for him? He he wanted a new deal didn't get a new deal lost lost about just shy of a million bucks in salary and by the way the charges are digging in for just a little bit more than a million dollars in fines which means he's two million light key and did not get his new deal. What exactly was going on there because I get a hold out. If Lebanon Bell had price I ain't coming in gate. Ezekiel Elliott had not come into Melvin. Gordon had a price didn't get what we want and now he's coming in with two million fewer dollars than he had before. Yeah remember what I told you yesterday. When Santa Santa Fe was to run a team and I had this situation. I do exactly what the charges see a given the fact that he is not that valuable to us right now with a couple of years left on his contract. I let you sit didn't run while your teammates are playing in out here busting their butts trying to win games and do all those sorts of things I'm GonNa just let you sit tight because we offered you ten million your base. Salary is four and some change but we gave you roughly an offer at about ten we could have probably increased to forty two million came in a couple of weeks ago but you're trying to get up there at fourteen thirteen and a half and fifteen and that's not going to happen and it was calculated. Poorly buys is representation representation set him up for failure because once you make that decision that this is what you're going to do then you have to follow through the stomach too because at the end of the day those checks aren't going to becoming even though you've got money saved in. You're going to be spending that money. You're gonNA we live in. You're you're riding around. Everybody's gone there at work. You're at home and so you're gonNA be miserable in your start to really miss it and think about so you you have to have the stomach Melvin Gordon on the flip side of things when I say to you I'm not coming. I'm not coming but I'm a star said Neta early enough that you know that ain't coming by the last season ought been telling you man deal all season. I'm not coming to camp or anything so they already know t they already know. I'm going to be showing you my bank statement so you are okay. I see what this is. He's GonNa he's GonNa outlasted situation and they know that they approach it way different way different now just remember going through it myself with bill parcells in New York jets bill man. I'm not coming. I'm not you guys got to be prepared to get done. We're not going to do. We're not going to set the precedent. We'll trade you. Okay well good. I'll stay on into you. Do let me know who's failures this. Is this Melvin Gordon because it's ultimately his career or is this the agents failure giving him bad advice because now he didn't get a new deal. He's two million dollars poorer than he was before this whole process started and now he's in any way didn't get anything he wanted. Is It on Gordon Autumn it because it look you're in charge of Melvin Gordon Inc or did the agent. Put Him in a terrible spot well. It just depends on what the agent explained to him. Let's assume that the agent explain explain to him. Everything and then mail and guard made a decision to do. He wants to do okay now. Let's assume that the agent didn't explain it to him. Remember Guard kept saying in many go do what you think they can do. What you think I'm going to get it done. I got this done withdrawn bettas back in the seventies or I got this done with. OJ In the sixties we'll get done yeah. I got auto with America. We'll get it done. Let's assume that in the end it doesn't happen at the end of the day it doesn't look good for Melvin Gordon because right now he's he's in there and the worst thing for him to do is to leave without a contract if he can go in and let them seem touchy feeling a little a bit into side that he's GonNa leave again. That'd be a bad meal out of possibility. Leaving is always always a possibility. I've seen it happen before we've already proven that we can cause they may have tolerated giving but they might have told him come in and we go work on it but you gotta be here and that's usually what happens. Benzes team says come in. We'll work on it. Let's just just come. We'll work on it. Let's figure it out. You said yesterday that you thought they would get him a new deal before at the end of the season. You still feel the same way I do. I do now won't be it won't be what he wants. It may even be the same that they've already offered a slightly a little bit it above but he's not going to be anywhere near close to what he wants and is going to be in their favor from a structural standpoint or reporter. He told you seen Anderson. He's fully prepared for this to be his his last season with the team so if they don't present him with what he wants he becomes a free agent and then he just Kinda bounces right yeah but it depends on who ah the running back market is tricky man. If you remember the the deal Raj groves put together yesterday on the last man standing. There was three running backs that was in the top three. I mean the three running backs with the top pay through running backs. We were able to hit all three of those running backs running away but after thirteen million dollar drop ball Leon bill that thing plummeted down to like seven and a half a million so you couldn't even really you had to scramble all the think who the top pay rent backdoor so when you start to think of it like that L Z you say to yourself okay if he's making thirteen million and he's the top of the heat in now. Melvin Gordon becomes a free agent. There's no team that's going to be willing to pay him thirteen million because they devalued running back position especially when you not Z. SAQUON or lady on each dog early hot girly ish in anti girly doesn't can help based on his failures in the last several games. It doesn't help the running back market at all because people will say whoa you don't really necessarily need a top Russia to win the world championship because the New England Patriots. They don't have a top. Russian didn't win Atlanta when they went to the Super Bowl win. They didn't have a top Russia. Then the marshawn lynch with the Seattle Seattle seahawks they didn't win when he was a top dog didn't even give him the ball a couple of silver spoons Ricky Schroder to find kind come on key. I love this show. Travis wanted to train in my living room really badly. Oh that's funny chat about Aaron Gray though gray was you know she was also rogers she was shipped to the Rich Dad. Yes I saw orbital's and Jason Bateman and Jason Bateman who still making money so yeah every time I must say I I see Rick Schroder all the time out here he's out there are running around a little older now but he's trying to start is the Eagle Rock today thirty seven years ago and NBC response premier. How many years ago thirty seven my friend. You're old my friend. yeah yeah. You know what else premier though while back what that's right guys it's our. NFL picks against the spread favorite segments. I love this kind of stuff offend. Of course we don't just do the Games. We do get spread confidence pool which means you most confident game. You're most confident pick you give four two and if you're not so confident to get one now of course course l. Z is still leading the pack. Twenty five points Travis is second you just behind with twenty points and coming. Sean got a couple of games right Fisher. He's got a ten is up to ten. Double Digits Keita's pretty good. How are YOU GONNA hate. It ain't nothing new Iraq. Let's start guys with tonight's game on Thursday night football. We finally got a good one guy right. They wanted to eagles. Take on the undefeated packers. The packers are four and a half point favorites keyshawn Julia taken. What's your confidence on it you know. Is this really a good game on Thursday night. I know US two quarterbacks or quarterback. That's supposed to be good. Obviously a guy who will be a first ballot hall of famer humor and Rogers but Thursday night football tradition. He hasn't been so great. The packers are at home got a chance to go foreign. Oh they got a chance to do some things but they're gonNA get their offense. Fix expe- off is getting fixed Carson winces under a little bit of heat just a little bit not a lot but just a little bit I think if he loses his game tonight that he thing will dow certainly go up not only on him but on the entire Philadelphia Eagles cast because they will be on the verge possibly missing the playoffs going one in three so I'm GonNa take the packers in this situation and I'm GonNa take that four and a half and I'm making my three okay zita handyman. You're the did the leader in the clubhouse. Why don't you give us your regain. I hate talking about ironside inside about. You're not really who I am. As a person I twenty five just checking. Here's the deal Aaron Rodgers has been on television a lot the season talking about the office talking about the office but the one thing that is interesting about the offense is that they've actually been scoring more and more points so even though visually we see struggles. The outcome is actually more training in the right direction. I I think this is going to be the breakout game for Iraj. Is this is where we're going to see the three touchdown no interceptions how in the hell did he throw that football air rogers. It's my two but I'm still going with the packers okay Travis. I'll make it a clean sweep. I'll take Green Bay as well. The Eagles the one game that they did win. They still gave up twenty four points. They've they've given up twenty seven twenty seven and twenty four and their three games. They are not a particularly good team. They've struggled with some pretty mediocre teams along the way sorry Chelsea that includes the lions. I'm GonNa Take Green. Take I think they're getting ready to have that awesome explosion. You're talking about Green Bay at the three all right next game. Let's go and the NFC north here either the Vikings to in one vikings takings keyshawn in my team though this year against the two and one bears the bears in trubisky are favored by two and a half points at home travis where you lean Ian. I'm I hate this game first of all because I hate both quarterbacks. I think they may be trying to bet on either. One of these guys is a fool's errand. I'M GONNA TAKE MINNESOTA BECAUSE I'll take the points. I think that Kirk cousins is a little bit better than Mitch Trubisky. I loved Alvin Cook. I think that the defense for Minnesota it's maybe not the bears defense but it's a good defense. Take the Vikings at two. LCD grandy man who you got. I think her cousins is a lot better than Mr. Bisky and kirk cousins is still in the league. He's a star Nestle because he'll give honey and then he'll give you some vinegar and tonight's going to be some honey so I'm picking the Vikings and that's my three all righty and vinegar. Don't even go to the reason why I picked those too honey inventor. Go together with Chili peppers and you mix it up together. You can make a nice to your mustard who you got the vikings. Were moving into Chicago. They gotTA travel there. Dr Mitch Trubisky stinks stinks well. It's not that he get. He gives me heartburn. When I'm watching him against his Vikings defense that's retooled. They KINDA got their Mojo. Oh Joe back on the defensive side of the ball. They can apply pressure. They create turnovers. They do a whole lot of different. Things with Zimmer. Zimmer knows what to do against bunk. quarterbacks liked liked trubisky on the flip side. The Vikings do have a quarterback kirk cousins still trying to find his way out of the role of a manager serviceable quarterback that makes makes about ninety million dollars guaranteed but they do have downland cook and feeling in in in his digs Ralph they have some special pieces on the offense aside side of ball going up against Chicago's defense. It'll be one of those low scoring games but in the end Chicago would not be able to scored enough points. Vikings this this one and I'll make it my one all right here. We go now the next game Sunday night football which would have been a game of the week but of course breeze getting hurt. It's still going to be an intern gang bridgewater taking over ten thirteen out of his last nineteen start something like that. I read well. The three and no cowboys undefeated cowboys they traveled to New Orleans to take take on the saints and Cowboys are favored by two and a half points on the road keyshawn. Who Do you like here. Well Dallas is a three in Oakland watching but they're three and all is not as impressive to me as to one that the saints have in the reason that he is is because the saints went to Seattle on the road in May Seattle look like a second rate football. That's important to my eyes may not be important to the rest of America but it is to me although I do think the cowboys. Are you know pretty good football team. I haven't seen this group cowboys in this environment on the road this this year to try to put out a win plus at the end of the day is all about nepotism anyway so I'm GonNa take the New Orleans saints. Okay two and a half drops. I'm favoring the New Orleans saints. It'll make their my two okay. Granny Man you know. I hate following keyshawn so closely because he's lost so many games however on on this occasion. He is absolutely correct. People had assume that the saints were going to be as good because it allows US starting quarterback not processing process and the fact that their backup is starting quarterback and he looked like last week. He's looked like this. We travers has gave me this look but yes damn skippy. I'm picking the saints and it's not autism is wisdom. It's a waste of backup quarterback. We mean I said people thought he was a backup quarterback but he's actually a starting quarterback issue one yeah okay that you one I did see the first half of Dallas against Miami and ousted not look great and they did not look like take a lights out football team. Ki- like you mentioned they played three teams that are not very good the giants the redskins and the dolphins they're three and no. New Orleans is at home. I'm GONNA take the cowboys in the points. I'm going to put them all the way down at the bottom though number one dallas cowboys alright and finally we have our undefeated they return home to take on on key. Shawn's Jameis Winston his favorite quarterback in the League whose issued an extension in stay with the butts but the bucks are wanted to go undefeated Brown. Excuse me Keyshawn Talk Doc the rams are favored by nine and a half points can cover such a spread the numbers ton and it gave me pause for half a second and then I realized that the rams have still scored nearly thirty points in all three of their game two of the three games and it's going to happen. They're going to have that offensive explosion like we were talking about a minute ago. It's going to happen. It's going to happen this Sunday at the coliseum the rams all the way at the top for four all right. I don't know if the office is GONNA. Explode and I know the defense offense will and I know Jamie's love serving them up now so I wouldn't mind seeing a pick six or former return for touchdown anyway. It goes monkey both the he vote anyway it goes. I don't not having to worry so much about the office I think overall. We're going to get that thirty and the bucket of struggle to score so that's my four per usual. How how rams baby raspberry who's Reich you sean it's your turn sorry pre half and Post Oh st his what I'm GonNa do here you know every now and then Guy Cruze air and go legal in in this this conference in this division who understands certain situations even know it's a different. Rams team them with Bruce and seen it before they've always struggled at times with Bruce Arians Arizona cardinals and when you one of the biggest upsets hits that could potentially come before is in the NFL football season rams you talk about negative stuff about Jaimes Winston incident about serving it up and he's this and he's favourite keyshawn quarterback guys actually played pretty decent this year unlike Mariota. I'll side to serving up to the interceptors in Week Guan San Francisco. He's been pretty pain on ramp side that quarterback four hundred ten million dollars has actually been the second coming of Bart. Art Store not yet todd Gurley has not been the same not yet. Todd Bowles is a pretty savvy defensive coordinator and and now he wants me to hurry up. I mean take five minutes but you did your other ones in forty five seconds so I hope we can do. This is the rams so I figured we'd take our pre-eminence Moran at the end of the day. I'm smart enough to know come on that. The Tampa Bay buccaneers Komo home key will not cover there. You go to win in this game going away okay. I'M GONNA make it my four Dow. NFL piggy spread go ahead and take it to the Branko. Hey how far away are we L Z from getting another one Black Panther movie. I think it's two thousand twenty two you still while still a minute okay Cherry Bozeman for whatever reason wants to make movies. I guess he's an actor well. I know he is an actor very very good liked him in forty two a lot but when you're Black Panther don't you just keep knocking those things out until they don't let you make them anymore. Knock black off of you know. Let's go yeah. I'll go again again and again and again the got the whole remember. He hit black pants but he was also in both avengers as well as civil war so he's he's a for four of them. He's putting another spandex right now. Keep him coming on. ESPN DOT COM has a list up of their top ten NBA players okay one one and two are still in their back pocket. They haven't let that go you. Tell me where the list comes off the rails ready. Okay here. We Go Paul George at ten fine all right okay dame. Lillard at night okay so far so good so far so good eight Joel Embiid K. getting literary number seven Nikolay Yokich it is right on that is accurate doing we'd like embiid ahead of Yokich yes why because he's better looking for the handful of games that he plays Travis handful of gains. He's the joker is not missing gains for a bellyache just because you show up. Don't you still run out. What is what isn't isn't better at He's a better score. He's a better defender. I'll give you the defender Yes. I don't know if he's a score. He's about to score advocate there. He's a he's a more dynamic namic score. He's a more he's more fun to watch okay yeah but not a better rebounders definitely not a better passer and more better shooter. Yokich can knock threes. You like you like field goal percentage. Joel embiid is not as good of a three point shooter but the thing with Yokich as you do the screen role he pops out. If it's covered he's gotTa swing the Rock because he doesn't have the ball handling skills Joel Bill but he'll also find a guy under the basket layup everybody Russell Westbrook's got a thousand triple doubles. He's is not on this list. We don't have to worry about him never six. Steph that feels super low. That's too long to suggest a two time. MVP and three the NBA champions to a very much in his prime. It's not a top five player. Disrespect feel like we're gonNA have a season where Steph kinda reminds everybody exactly what was going on. Nobody we've member this is ESPN. This isn't the basketball necessarily. This is a group of reporters who are very good job but it's not like he's getting slighted cited by his colleagues because Katie is gone and because clay is hurt and is in the midst of rehabbing it feels like steps can have an opportunity entity to do some fifty on the raptors. He doesn't drink during the finals. Get fifty and again. I thought he got pretty damn close. We had a couple of good ones. I don't John if he had fifty number. Five Los Angeles Laker Anthony Davis. I'll come bad like I mean look I love. I think he's going to be awesome. I can't wait to see it steps ahead. Ad Right yes yeah number four James Harden which feel see that no no no no no no that is very my fantasy see team James Howard well. He's a great fantasy player. James Harden is fun TV occasionally but when it comes time to get something done and win some stuff. James Harden's never been around cancel by himself. James Harden is a very good offensive player any willing passer but he does nothing nothing better than Steph curry right now if you don't get extra points for having one foot near Eh by the way that's going to be a disaster him in respite together. That's going to be a disaster it. May it may not be. They do do the exact same stuff. I think we're no lead. They don't do know what I mean by that is they. Both give me the ball and get out of my way they what they do after they get the ball's a little different but the whole thing is. I'M GONNA stand over here. The other four you dudes you go over there and get the hell out of credit. The transition's GonNa be fun. We're on fast-break. That's going to go well yeah. I think they're spinning the wheels and then number three L Z Lebron James now see I understand where they're coming from. It's just a wrong place. They think because Janas Kawai one one. NBA Championships the other was finals or other ones MVP that they've they've now passed the Bron James. Because Brian got hurt and he missed the playoffs for the first time in like over at well over a decade but I will double dog dare you to ask any NBA player who is the best skilled player in the NBA and to a player here. I'm willing to say you're here. Lebron James named first before you here. Y- honest I agree I agree with that and if you're better skilled and the level of athleticism hasn't jumped off a cliff. I'm just thinking you're the better player on defense. I think the Lebron is a better player than Jaanus. Hey there's a there's a big but the end the but is is this big but we're getting to the point where I think it's really not only fair but it's probably right to look at if we're just talking about this upcoming season the twenty one thousand nine hundred twenty twenty season. That's about to start in a few weeks is is Lebron. James still one of the best players in the league absolutely unequivocally yes but is it blasphemous to have a player or two or three ahead of him. No it's not you moved up to three. Yeah I think and again I'm kind of change it because what I just said wouldn't qualify your but Kevin durant assuming he comes back and just go ahead of Lebron James at this point. I wouldn't have a problem from with Katie being listed ahead in the branch Leonard's ahead of him because of the defense because the ability to play both ends of the court not Lebron can't do you it be Lebron is what is thirty six thirty thirty five. It's his seventeenth Christmas. I wanted his seventeenth year. In the League. I mean Y- how's the and and and wants this lake season unfolds a little bit and we get into Nook and cranny of the season. Who Do you think's really going to be leading the Lakers like the best player on the Lakers with the the eyeball test you you. Would you be surprised. Anthony Davis was the best player on the Lakers. Would you be surprised yes. I wouldn't really yeah yeah warrants percent. I wouldn't be surprised if if it was still Lebron James but I wouldn't be surprised if it had been passed over to Anthony Davis either the night in and night out if Anthony Davis is doing a little bit more than Lebron on average special the most often those are different questions being the better player doesn't mean you're always being the Alpha and every single moment Lebron Lebron James even when he played with D way and Chris Bosh was step back and allow de way to get his even though Lebron Lebron James. Really wanted to uh-huh especially over the last eight years if he wanted to lead the league in scoring he would have hopefully James Harden is out there trying to beat him. Even scoring Lebron James has opting to everybody else involved and then he'll get here's when he wants to is that not though and I agree with you had he decided just to mash the gas go for it he could lead the League in scoring Lee agree but the fact that he chooses not to is that not part of what we're talking about the fact that he needs to pick his spots a little a little bit more the fact that he's not really capable. That's wrong word not really willing to go out there and give you ninety eight percent of his best night it in an Lebron and this is not just last season. The last few seasons Lebron has been very strategic about when he gives you maximum Lebron he has to be you know why because no one else and modern basketball history has played as much as he has and because of that at the measuring stick that we use has to be special and unique as well people are wondering why he's not going hard and gained eighty the way they genesis well is because gain eighty. He's plays game. Janas is calling in a rap and the BRA. No He's still has another twenty. Five Games wants to go. His regular. season is different than everybody else has regular season because postseason has been different else's postseason. Do I feel like I could flip that. I feel like I could take exactly what you just said and say that's why he's not that guy and because of the odometer because of where we are in his career not that he's not great he still the fact that we're still still considering a guy going into his seventeenth season as the third or fourth or first or second or whatever it is is remarkable but the fact that he's played as many minutes it's as many games as many seasons as he has and. I know that he is meticulous about how he takes care of himself and that's a credit to him but the fact of the matter is that car's been on the road a really long time and we got some newer cars here that can do right now it is. He's a jeep wrangler. You know what Jeep Wrangler is so valuable why because they don't appreciate like other cars you can buy a brand new jeep wrangler driving off the lot in a depreciates by like three five thousand dollars. You took another car it drops by I ten thousand. He's a jeep wrangler built to last what is embiid you know. He's a go good like trying to buy a three is the place you're listening to K. SPN Los Angeles football tonight dozy we all I have the pack picks are pretty similar this week even have a great day.

Lebron Lebron James Baker Mayfield Rex Ryan travis League football NFL Melvin Gordon Vikings packers Browns NBA rams Brady Bunch eagles giants Tika sumpter ATV kirk cousins
Introducing The Suga

Dead Ass with Khadeen and Devale Ellis

06:12 min | 8 months ago

Introducing The Suga

"Good you're well and Kadena LS. We have something special for you today. We've got a little peek of a new podcast. At just launched with stitcher fan is called the sugar it's hosted by Tika sumpter. She plays the MOM on. Abc's mixed dish and Tie Randolph. She's co-president of Kevin Hart's LL network. The sugar is super relatable to me because Tika and tie are both boss. Moms just like me. The sugar is the Brown Mama's guide to the sweet life. It's a safe place for black MOMS to talk about the complexities of motherhood and celebrate their sweet sugar babies. I know with our three hole. Boys parenting can be so challenging but also so much fun. I love that. There's a show where I can hear other women talk about those things to all right. We've got a little five minute clip of the sugar for you to hear right now if you like what you hear. Subscribe to the sugar on. Stitcher spotify apple podcasts. Or wherever you're listening right now so you don't miss an episode. The sugar is A. Place for MOMS MOMS to be the undecided aunties. Talk All things motherhood We get the opportunity to speak about things that a lot of the Times. We're left out of the conversation whether it's via mental health and also indulge in the joys of motherhood and being where we are and speaking on that whether it's you know potty training to talking back to how we are changing the the story of how we raise our kids and this is a place where you know when I first brought this idea to tie and cultivated it with her to become a bigger part of another part of what we're doing. Which is Sugar Berry? I was pregnant with Ella. Who's now three? But she was in my belly and I was searching for a community. I was searching for products. I was searching for other people who looked like me and had fibroids in that. I wanted to talk about and understand and Struggled with as well so this is a place of love laughter Understanding and also getting a lot of Resources and advice practical advice for US I think is black women. There's so many parts of our journey and particularly our journey motherhood that we have to package up. Put a bow on. And it's about strain and being a superwoman. Doing it all and I really wanted a place where we could actually unpack all in that and be really real with each other and delicate Are Broader mission. Sugar Berry is to be a brown Mama's guy to the sweet life we think You know we deserve to indulge too and to be vulnerable and to be light hearted To find the best resources for ourselves and our little ones. And that's what this is about and so I'm excited to share to share in the sugar and the sweetness But also to really be real. I remember going through. Ibs myself and thinking. This is the loneliest place. I've got a broken body. This is so tough to navigate. And what's funny? Is the minute that I started talking about it. The minute that I talked about it at work or with girlfriends you find out everyone's going through the same thing or some variation of the experience or have experienced You know some areas of doubt or frustration but no one is having that exchange. Yep so I feel like when we're really honest about what our experiences are. It gives everyone else permission to do. So nobody's getting gold medal at the end for saying you did it all by yourself right. That's no one even knows. Can I say you don't get a gold medal for having non epidurals pregnancy? Yes you don't get a gold medal for breastfeeding for two years. You don't get a gold medal for sleep not sleeping and being okay. You don't get a gold medal for anything right. There's no prize. If you want the epidurals get the epidurals bottle feed and bottle feed. But they're so much mom guilt that other moms give us. I got guilt guilted for having a C. Section that I could not control while months need to be careful. We have to do that you. There's a thin line between advice in judgment right and so everyone doesn't need our two cents if you ha- if you WanNa know what I did great if you don't find but whatever you choose I'm sure you're GONNA be okay if you're providing for them if they're safe if there's a whole spectrum of right answers exactly now it's time for our mommy mantra so we're excited to introduce the segment. Every week. We will You know sign off or leave you with a mommy mantra and it's an affirmation or a bit of assurance just for MOMS something sweet to carry you through the week adding quote anything like that So I have one go I'm allowed to make a big deal out of things that feel really big to me. that's from Think it's Amy Carly I just feel like sometimes people make The things that feel big to US small or they don't matter like you have a good life and you don't need to complain about this or you don't need to even like saying complaining because you're talking about a situation and I think sometimes when you have or you don't have you can start feeling like well. Nobody wants to hear me or here. My little problem right. Your problems are big to you. And I think it's okay to say them out loud and they valid and people sometimes make them invalid because they're not big to them so I it's I'm allowed to make a big deal out of things that feel really big to me. I love that. It's similar to what my mom always says to me. If it's real to you then it's real so it's okay to acknowledge it. You don't have to qualify it. It's just this is what I'm going through. Here's what it is yeah. I love that the sugar is out. Now listen on stitcher apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

gold medal Sugar Berry Tika sumpter Tie Randolph co-president Abc spotify Kevin Hart US Ella Ibs Amy Carly five minute two years
Olympic Superstar Simone Biles, Toxic Beauty Standards with Jackie Johnson and When We Feel Beautiful

Just Between Us

54:32 min | 8 months ago

Olympic Superstar Simone Biles, Toxic Beauty Standards with Jackie Johnson and When We Feel Beautiful

"They just it's me. Oh my mouth UNWRAP in the writer director and I have six ear piercings. Hey I'm gabby done. I have a writer by CON Bisexual. Icon got wink and a big fan of Alison's love which opens every show. Thank you so much It's it's Kinda keeps the vibe up. I mean I hope so. I really enjoy just like rituals in terms of the side of stuck to the singing. International Question Yeah Suck to opening with. Hello almost exact same tone. Every time people like consistency it makes them feel safe. It does. This is just between us. Variety show filled with heartfelt advice ridiculous game and brutal honesty and today's episode is actually going to be a bit different from despite us just talking about your love consistency but this is going to be a themed episode because this episode is actually sponsored by sat which is prestige skincare brand from Japan and is the official skin care brand of the Olympics. And they're doing this. Incredible global campaign called Beauties Hashtag no competition and basically the conceit of the campaign is that it's tied with the Tokyo Olympics which is obviously based all around competition right but S. K. Two is calling out the fact that there's one place where there shouldn't be competition and that's about beauty standards and toxic beauty culture. Oh and we were like yeah. We're on board. Sorry well it was like okay. Yes we were there. We the thing that we have beat the drum about constantly show so today's episode is going to be all about toxic beauty standards and kind of breaking down why that's happening how to fight it what we can do better and we're also going to have a very exciting interview. With one of the campaign spokeswoman. Oh Yeah we got. We got to talk to Simone biles Olympic superstar own miles. I don't know the greatest gymnasts of our time slashed ever. Yeah we got to. We got to go and meet her and interview her for this show which was just like super surreal and awesome and so she obviously joined up with the campaign as well because she someone who has faced a lot of criticism about her body like that toxicity. Kimbler constantly commenting on on her instagram. Trolling garbage and she someone who's constantly just wearing a leotard in front of the entire world. Yeah that's rough so we get to talk to her. We're also going to do the normal segments of the show but just within this idea of like standard. The older Hashtag. No Competition Love that. They love that for us. Yeah me too okay but I I to start off hit this international international aid on that lots via so and that says lately. I've been wondering how to distinguish societal beauty. Pressures People put on women from the beauty routine slash procedures. I actually enjoy doing. Oh man for example. I really love red lipstick and wearing skirts slash dresses very comfortable. But sometimes I think people view this as an attempt to fit in the mold of looking classically feminine and it. Makes me question? My style choices am I doing this for me or for society is their thought process. You follow when you're wondering about whether you're doing something for your own happiness or budget under the pressure society has put on you. Okay so one. The main thing is comfort view Feel comfortable in what you're wearing and what you're doing. Bingo you've nailed it right because I think it's really important to say like we're not saying that like the way that you you should all just wear like sweat pants average sacks like you know I think that honestly like the way that we what we you wear and how. We do our hair and her makeup. It's our way of presenting ourselves to the world and saying like this is like the first lady who I am and that's wonderful. The problem comes in is when you're comparing that yet or when you're stretching out of your comfort zone to be like I need to look like the sites like this and it's something that's like actively uncomfortable for you. I think for me a big thing that I've discovered is that like I'm not good with fashion time. Like I'm good at my very basic okay. Sick version of fashion. Yeah but like. I've spent a lot of money on these pieces. That are like kind of more. Like wow or like a little quirky here like that. Push me out of my comfort zone and I just. It's not for me and you when you see someone who is doing that. Do you feel bad about yourself. No that's so cool that they could do that. But also I've written books and write podcast tonight. I'm creative and so many other ways. And what about you do you rate? Are you good at versus like you would never be like? Oh my God that person Kayak so well. I'm garbage for what I mean I okay. So here's my journey. When I started being a writer I had this assumption. That if you're a writer you have to look douty. Oh does that's how you get people to take you seriously interest. You have a certain hair-color you have a certain thing that you wear which is like sloppier hoodies whatever it is and you. You have to look like you've just been writing all night and that's like literally what I thought so. I never wanted to look feminine in any way because I thought people would look at me and be like well. That's not a serious writer. That's just like some girl right. Which is I mean. Get into the sexism there and so but then I slowly went through a thing where I was like. You know what? It's actually rebellious to have long blonde hair and red lipstick hand. Be a writer like then. I had this idea of like now. I'm actively going against society and like you know what I mean. Now I'm now I'm like Super Smart girl who is blonde which like again. You're just still trying to stick to society and he's all the way versus what you just WanNa do. Naturally then the second. The third wave was then. I decided that I needed to look very masculine because I had a boyfriend and I'm a bisexual and so then you'll recall all of these. I know all this. I cut all my hair off. Shave my head get started dressing very masculine. Yes and was like this is me now to the point. I bought like masculine swimsuits. I had like underwear like all this stuff and I was like now. Now Come at me society. I have a boyfriend but I look like a lesbian. What are you GonNa do about it again? Me Pushing up against society right then. I grew my hair out and now I just look what I looked like the beginning completely back to what I looked at the start. And it's so much better to not have like conforming to standards is one thing and then also fighting standards for so long is so exhausting. And so I've just gone back to new CH- just neutral but I also think that there I am. I've been guilty of this. Were like when my sister would take a long time to get ready or like where fancy stuff. And then she'd be like I'm doing it for me would be like yeah right like it was very hard you know. I think that for lot of women that is the case. But it's very hard for people to accept that that's what's happening. Yeah that someone does a full face of makeup. Because that's what they WANNA do is. They're trying to impress other people totally and so. I've tried really hard to change my mind set on that and just being like the person they want to do that. That's I think. Make up for a lot of people like a hobby and it's like an art form and style is too and so like I think maybe my sister was telling the truth. That whole yeah. I think if you find skirts and dresses comfortable if you feel good in them if you look good in them if you love lipstick and you feel like that makes you you and that's very on top of you being you then like go for it. Like don't over think it like I love. Sometimes you see women who always look like dressy like no matter the situation and I guarantee that you're dressing up for them helps them mentally. Yeah it like a battle uniform like I remember this teacher. I had said that like she had a student who whenever she was like extra dressed up it was like because she was going through a hard time and so she yes she was like fighting it by looking good and feeling like sometimes if you're a certain type of person where this makes you feel better until hell. Yeah and it's like your first line of Defense. Yeah totally so honestly I think that the biggest thing you can do is just do whatever the freaky one. Yeah do what you want. Yeah and also it's okay. If like one day you wake up and you don't WanNa Wear Lipstick Orleans. Two years you like. I go through a pants phase right I think. Sometimes we feel like we have index and that we have to maintain those but like you could be like. Gabby goat show many wave of appearances and you can honestly change day to day. You know like I think that as there's so many different aspects of our personalities there can be so many different aspects of our style and the way we present ourselves totally until like embrace that and to not to not worry what other people think because this is such a moment where you when you have to turn the tables around and be like do. I care of that girls wearing lipstick. No no looks cool means so just like assume the grace that everyone is giving you for yourself right right right and also like I know that there's this Association of Femininity with less intelligence or less seriousness. And so maybe that's creeping in for you a little bit and like you don't have to subscribe to that that's not true like bi woman is awesome. And I think that it sucks. Sometimes you feel like we have to like go against that to be taken serious. Yeah that's what I thought like anything. Feminine I was like you can't be taken seriously as a writer if you're wearing pink I want. I was listening to this podcast about this. This couple that was raising their kid. Gender-neutral right so they had a biological girl who still identifies as a girl years. You know like yeah team now but when she was a baby the mom was very much like look like. I don't want her playing with barbies or like wearing all pink and like you know she got her like toys and stuff and like trucks. And like I was like that is not gender-neutral. No that's that's mask that's you saying that. Like neutral excludes things that are traditionally feminine. Oh that's the whole thing with gender neutral right. It's you include everything. Every you know just cut out stuff. That's traditionally Feminine Right. And so that's a big mistake so I think you're just responding to that and I think that that's accurate and wear whatever lipstick and skirt. You WanNa wear and honestly back to the first point. Be Comfortable if that's what you feel good in. If that's what doesn't hurt your belly. We support it. Oh yeah everyone should be allowed to wear skirts. They're so cozy. Yeah I get a little cold okay if you want to submit your international questions and to to just between US pot at Djamil Dot Com. That's just between US P. O. D. at gmail.com. Stick around after the break. We're going to have tough questions which includes our interview with Simone biles sticker on the swing back a better way to get birth. Control is finally here with simple health. Simple health is all about care that fits your life. They Make Birth Control Simple. Convenient and affordable with online prescriptions and. Free home delivery. Whether you're brand new birth control or just tired of dealing with renewals and pharmacies simple health will take care of you. Just fill out an online health profile. Then a doctor reviews it and writes a prescription. You can pick the birth control you want or have a doctor recommend the best one for you including the patch or the ring your birth control then ships to your door monthly. No more waiting rooms. No More Pharmacy. Lines and no interruptions. Simple health isn't a replacement for routine checkups with your doctor but they wanna make birth control accessible to all people with uteruses. It's free with most insurance plans and starts at fifteen dollars a month without insurance. I am so excited by this idea. And they did so important because it is such a hassle to get birth control. Yeah like I'm on it and I have to like maintain this like yearly checkup at exactly the same time of year zero and they can renew. Yeah but like you know. Obviously I'm still going to go to the guy no once a year but now it's like he doesn't have to be the exact same month. Run out you know. That's great and also the discreet aspect of it. I think is really important. You know for potentially college students who still live at homer. There's no reason that this shouldn't exist and I think it's doing a lot of good. Yeah so don't miss your chance to try simple health for free. Just go to simple health dot com slash between us or enter code between us at checkout. That's simple dot com slash between us with code between us. Hey everybody I'm Tika sumpter and I'm an actress and most recently you can see me on. Abc's mixed ish. Hi this is Tai Randolph. And I'm the boss at Kevin Hart out loud network and we are the host of the sugar a suite space where we want you to indulge on topics we sometimes get left out of. It's a space by four and about Brown mom. This is a place of community where we want you to feel lots of love peace and laugh a lot. Like Morales pregnant. Someone was like. Oh when I had when I was in Labor. I was like I was having an orgasm. Go now go now somewhere. They like. Maybe you're not actually had space for Mama's like us to see ourselves and be ourselves get ready to open up tot laugh. Even cry with our sweet suga moments. The sugar is out. Now listen on stitcher apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts sesame. Welcome back to just between us. It's time for the juiciest most scandalous controversial segment dollar podcasting. Tough question. Today we are here with beauty influence beauty expert host of the podcast. Natch butte which is one of my faves. Jackie Johnson guys. We did a inch her before. So you'd be on the edge of your. Are we gonNA talk to about beauty? The top beauty podcast sweetie. So honestly we're going to do something a little bit different as we mentioned before we did interview Simone biles about toxic beauty and her personal experiences. We want to play that interview now for you. Also who listeners. And then we're going to discuss the interview almost like this is like a fun lecture where the teachers like now will watch video. This is like a youtube reaction videos. I'm sitting with googlers. Yes Okay. Hit the interview well. This is very exciting. Definitely our most famous guests of all time. Please welcome Simone biles. Hello thank you so much for joining us First of all incredible yeah. You're just incredible. You WanNa just lead off with. That was my first comment on. But we're talking about no competition. Basically how beauty has become this thing that has taken over especially women's lives in how everyone feels so competitive with each other but this campaign is really against that. So what kind of inspired you to get to be a part of the campaign. Yes I feel like. I've gone through personal issues. That have made me want to pair up with this campaign. Beauty is no competition and nobody should tell you what beauty standards should or shouldn't look like so. That's the message that I want to portray. It's pretty good message. Yeah everything's gotten incredibly toxic especially with the comments that they showed in the videos unbelievable who thinks to leave a comment like that. I've N- I've never even commented something positive. Do you feel like as a gymnast. You're faced with even more unrealistic beauty standards than your average woman. Yes most definitely because we have to wear. Leo's out there so we're already exposing a little bit more parts of our bodies that we are uncomfortable with and then people start talking about your looks your muscles this and that and then it. Just get tenure head so I just try not to look at some of the comments and I just go out there and do me be me and see what happens. Do you just walk down the street and think I'm stronger than you. I'm stronger than you know more. I'm actually like whenever maybe in sixth grade. When I used to get a lot of comments about my muscles I did from the guys. They used to make fun of how big my muscles were analyst. Yeah I just use the thing like I could probably be you up. But that's okay. I'm not going to if I wanted to probably could but you know my muscles helped me in the gym world so yeah. I think that that could beat everybody up. And I don't have any muscles Oregon's you could be absolute. What would you say young girls who feel pressured to look a certain way? Yeah just be yourself because at the end of the day. That's what you can do best and it won't matter what other people think. I feel like it took me so long to get to a point where I don't care about how I look other than just for me to be happy. Yes and it's so amazing just like a weight off of our shoulder. Yes because you're not walking around nervous or paranoid that somebody's looking at you. For some reason you're just like walk in confidently everywhere you go. I achieved my arms and I used to be so worried that someone would touch my arm and no yeah but like who cares. You didn't stop shaving. Your arms feel fine about it. I shave my arms for me. But wow that's so beautiful. It's so thank you know. You're a little bit younger than us. And like I think growing up with social media and even someone. Who's not a gymnast grower? You know youtuber like growing up with these comments. I mean you just think about like the kid living their life in a midwestern town. He's like seeing these comments into What would your like advice be for kid like that? Try Not to look at the comments. beer self and just your beautiful inside and out. What would you want society to focus on instead of physical beauty? How well you do at your spore at your work in school. Whatever that may be It doesn't always matter what you're what you look like. Yeah especially for gymnasts. I mean I don't know that that many people talk about male gymnasts in the same way. There's no like there's no I think because the bodies are more traditionally like allow allowed to be muscular. Just there so on display like you said have you just a leotard out there too. It's yeah could you speak at all to I know in the panel. You were talking about how far you've come in terms of learning things affect you but that journey of I being so vulnerable to sign opinion. I feel like being in social media and being in the public eye. Obviously there will be people that don't like you don't like your appearance and as I've grown older I've realized it doesn't matter what other people think because I'm comfortable in my own skin. I think I'm beautiful inside and out But it's taken years for me to feel comfortable with that and grow that strong bone. I think it's so good. You admit that because I at least for me I always feel silly when I let it affect me. But of course it's going to affect you at first and they have to talk out of that exactly then eventually you get thicker skin in your leg. Screw it well. Yeah I mean that's like when you talk back on dancing with the stars finally gets you and you're like I have to say something. Yes of course and I felt like I was at that place where no matter what I did. It wasn't right saw like no. I'm going to stand up for myself no matter if they like it or they don't and that's just what and it resonated with you because you can you say what you said on dancing hysteria. Smiling doesn't win gold medals. Put It on a teaser to that and before we go. Just what is something? You're most proud of whether it's on the matter off the Mat just in Your Life. I feel like right now. The person I've become I've grown a lot since twenty sixteen to twenty twenty I've matured a lot so hopefully people see that Because it's something I've been working on really hard. Isn't it wild how much you can change? It is crazy I looked back and I'm like well you had to do it with everyone watching. Yes exactly. Thank you so much for talking to us. You're welcome. This is amazing campaign. You're amazing and now I gotta go tell my sister because she's obsessed with you. You'll finally impressed offline you've never been impressed before You're welcome thank you. I've sweating sitting good job. I think it was just as nervous listening to a back as I was doing. Either of you yeah. I think we did a great job. Jackie do you think it was really beautiful? And what a queen. I'm so inspired. Yeah she was really great and a trooper. I also love the discussion about the muscles. Yes because I think historically it's like women's bodies have to look such specific way and even like when bodies are a certain way because of what you do like if you're like a swimmer or runner gymnast. It's like that should be like a celebration that like exactly the way that it is for men a lot of the time right like that. You worked so hard leave that you are now like a perfect physical specimen for whatever it is that you're doing but were just like oh your size look big. I don't like that it a lot of it is like I don't like to gaze upon it as a man so therefore it is bad right. Okay move along water concept I know so okay. One thing that she was talking about was like the changes from two thousand sixteen to twenty twenty and I feel like like this campaign. There's been a lot of movement towards body positivity and you've been in the space for a long time time I would say yeah. Can you speak to what you've seen change as someone who's deep in it like in terms of What celebrated or what's like the positives going from one body type being accepted to all of a sudden like more visibility. I think the one thing that I've noticed that I am so appreciative. Of is the removal of the filter on instagram. Yes I always I mean. Sometimes I will do that. One right swiping. Damn Oh good but most of the time I fight that urge because the truth is skin has texture concept we all have blemishes every once in a while and you know oh heaven forbid a hair is out of place or whatever and the more we show that I think the more visibility there is so the fact that hey we are all human beings and it is okay to not look perfect every second because I can only imagine how hard it would be to look at those pictures and be like everybody looks so nice and when I look at my skin I see skin see skin. I want to look like a failure. I remember the first time I saw that quote unquote pretty filter on snapchat. They call it the beauty filter and I was like me too. Hey it's just yeah and I think that's one thing that I really appreciate is just when I've had some guests on my show that are like I don't use filters I don't it my photos. I love like Little Lena. Dunham not adult photoshop photos like everybody needs to pull back a photo shop pinger honey. Yeah and more people are more. People are being honest about that. I never use filters and you never have one because to me. It was just like I had premonition but it was just it felt like I don't want people to see things that are that are unrealistic. Right you literally have to take ninety thousand photos to get like the one yes. I'll be like okay. Oh one hair's auto place fuck. Yeah like the perfection has gotten so out of control. I also just think that like what you said that there's one specific way to look like I think that shrill has lying done amazing things in terms of like showing different body types and she looks gorgeous out that entire show like. She's so fashionable her hair stunning. Like she's like I mean like I like that they like and she's GonNa just like be against beauty sander. I'd like she's still like looked short. Wants to look exactly. And it's like gorgeous just like beauty isn't just for one type exactly and that's yeah the one thing I want to really talk about is like the comments and reading the comments. I thought that was super fascinating. Because I've learned I remember like we all remember our first shitty comment. I remember my. Tumbler like somebody. Who's like she? Has the voice like a linebacker. Yeah no shit. I have a deep voice. I've been hearing that since I was five. Like but also that they're gonNA go after your voice which you can't shut. Why because this person had a problem with themselves and that's what we have to remember if somebody like. Gabby said I haven't made a comment in my life. It's because yeah because I don't care I would never come at negatively about anyone else on the Internet about anything. Why especially what? You can't change right. Which is the thing even about. Really terrible people like if it's like a celebrity. Who's done something awful? I don't find it like Cathartic or whatever to be like. And they're ugly right. I think it's like focus on what the person did that was wrong. They have control of what they have control over. I would never comment on what someone has. No control over liked their voice like you know their hair or their skin or whatever like that's not the other body type like that's that's not getting to the heart of what's wrong and I also just think like. She was saying not to read the comment. It's like because she hasn't need to read the comments. Oh yeah she doesn't have to. She should never no one. Should ever show her a comment. Ever have. Your Life is so busy and so productive and so great like don't even remember it was like Oh Boohoo as I read these comments on the private jet to my dream job honey. Yes that's what I'm saying like you. I understand wanting to read the comments and I understand that need or like or the curiosity but I stopped reading like reviews and things like that and it freed me up so much because I just know if somebody went out of their way to like. Let me know something and I'm not talking about like a contrast of criticism I That's fine I'm talking like something like you were saying out of your control. Whatever honey look inward Why are you pointing that out like you were saying about the men like pointing bodies? Maybe you feel weak. Yeah it'd be. You don't feel like you're enough right. I'm sorry for you. I know that happens. We've all been there honey. I hope you find the hill. You're as much a victim of beauty standards as exactly as you are a perpetrator of them. Have you ever talked to guys like guys? A lot of men feel insecure that they don't look quote unquote masculine or Straw. The ideal body type Olot especially like we all hang out with like nerdy comedians. Like I had so many conversations with them where they're like. I just wish my arms were bigger and I'm like I've never heard a man yet. Like talk about his body like that they compete with the they compete with each other to gym and the standards there to ask for women you know and also I think losing their hair is really big thing. You know. It's one thing if you've always been short you've just been short right. That's a big change that happens and there's like out of their control. That's what I was GonNa say is that I wrote down when we were listening to the interview I wrote. Down Looks Fade. You can't control like you're you're running a marathon that you're gonNA lose right because there's no there's nothing you can do to live forever so in the meantime adhering to these things that are impossible and not achieving. The things outside of your looks that you can achieve is a waste of your time pretty much. I always feel driver so Yeah I love the phrase a looks fade. Stupidity doesn't exactly like when you're trying to pick a romantic partner. Yeah totally So I want to ask like as a person. Who does this for a living? What beauty stuff is important versus? What isn't because there's a difference between skin-care and like some sort of Charlatan? That's not going to actually do anything for you. Well I think mental health and self care are always number one priority and pursuing your own happiness. So if something is going to make you happy. Don't ever feel ashamed of wanting to pursue that into that you know like oh I just really wish my hair was red. I've always wanted here. Honey get redhead hair ray. Lahood I mean so. That's number one thing but I think also it's just like you deserve care. You deserve to be clean. You deserve to feel nourished. You deserve to stand in front of the mirror and like rub cream on your face and look in the mirror and say I love this face. I'm grateful for this face if you have itchy arms you deserve not. It's your arms and I understand these weird little mental things where I used to shower and I was like why am I not showering? Because I don't think I deserve that. I don't think your shit. No I deserve to be clean. I deserve to be cared for. And so I think it's all just about you. Don't have to have this serums and you don't have to have this extra skincare routine. You just have to know that you deserve to take care of yourself. Yeah and it's about you. It's about competing with anyone out horse. Yeah and if you want those serums than get them but it has to be for you. It can't be because your neighbor has year like I need to have what they have and I think there might be the sense of like. Oh I should like reading my mind. It's not not true because like Oh you're not gonna go to the movies either. Go out to dinner like the you. Take yourself things that you want when you when you're financially able to do that. Yes we asked you happier. Yeah totally and and also you don't have to judge things as frivolous like not to you. If it matters I just had Geoffrey marshawn they are a like online kind of Non Binary. Mister Rogers and they said something very interesting. They said beauty is often discounted because women are often discounted. Yeah I was like Yes I see you and when you say celebrity what you I think people have this misconception. That beauty is one certain thing or rice or way and you mentioned mental health. Self Care like beauty is like. I think the word is misunderstood. And so that's why it's it's seen as frivolous yes and like as long as you're not as long as you're focusing on yourself and like caring about yourself and putting on the clothes that you want to put on and ignoring whatever voices like you don't deserve to do this then. Godspeed to you. I think that I think you're right. Jackie this thing of like you deserve to feel good. You deserve to feel like Like you're beautiful. Whatever that means to you and if and if that means being the smartest person in your class and that's what's beautiful than like go for it. How do you as a person who's in the beauty world in ads like an influencer? How do you not let the toxic stuff come in? Like how do you not let them over? Compare yourself it definitely does I have definitely had some therapy sessions about like this morphine and also about aging Because I'm in my mid thirties and Gabby was saying like the time keeps rolling. Yeah you can't do anything about it. Like I had a wrinkle that came up on my cheek and I literally was sobbing and it was and I'm going to be honest like I'm not proud of that but I was like I just went through like a crazy year and I got a divorce and like when you go through something like especially like a long break up in your in your mid thirties in the most ages city in the world right and all you really wanted like you realize what you want. And I'm like oh I WANNA family. Oh Shit now. I'm on a clock fine with the idea of being like a fierce older lady and honestly I'll probably when my career is going to really take off like I'm more like an Allison Janney. I'm GONNA be that like Hot Funny Sitcom. Oh God had with that. But I'm like I'm not ready yet. I want a couple more years. Keep the wrinkles. Yeah I know but I had to really process all of that so I have a lot of reprogramming to do as well. I'm working on it and I think again balancing out your feed with positive accounts. All bodies all genders all sizes. All everybody people you don't hang out with and realize that you don't have around you follow those accounts you know really. Just take a look at what's out there and seek your happiness honey and I also think that there's something to like when you feel good you looker in like Jake. I was asking Jake like If he's been like you're in like something you know some sort of fishing comment. I wanted to say he's happy. Ever been short short short so much happier now the with me. I don't I said well I don't know I don't know if I but like people keep commenting net like I look great of you. Alison percent because of you. You know when you feel good. You kind of radiate people keep telling me how happy I look. Bats like the old even my dad. I was facetime on my dad a few months ago when he was like. I truly an off how happy you look solving. Dad Dad Comments Joe because you get one like every five years that's it it's just like. I'm really really telling when you get a dad call. Oh yeah because they don't notice anything. Well honestly one of my things was before my Mitzvah taking it back. I got my hair done at the Salon and my dad took me and I asked him if he liked it and he said it doesn't matter what I think. Oh and so then I cried until my have found no. I ended up having a wonderful but Mitzvah but it is one of those things where like at the time I remember being like. Of course it matters what you think. If you don't like it must be awful. Alan like all these like my dad specific like way of looking at you and they like to see you in a certain way. He has such Pacific standards when it comes to hair. Which are you know so like now like if I if I had a hairstyle or something like? I don't think I'd be like you're right. It does matter. I WanNa know what you had for your missile. What was it was like a half up with like curls on but what I did have I had address also had a jacket so I had my long-sleeve drag it and then once we got to the party jacket. Wow that's really hardly ever been to a bar or bat-mitzvah Joe into a couple to be honest. I really I had one every weekend. I mean the Jewish community of Florida so I had one every weekend and let me tell you WanNa talk about competition and beauty standards. I needed a new dress forever. Of course I didn't I was garbage and everyone at school was GonNa sucked and we. It was all like it was like you would walk into the synagogue and check what was wearing. You knew who is rich because they had certain clothes that you didn't have and it was a full nightmare for me. All of middle school all the time I Mike. Looking at women and like admiring their outfits or like their shoes or something and I'm just so worried that like they think that I'm like criticizing but like I'm looking at you. If you're wearing cool your first instinct is always to go like what's wrong. I know and I hate that. I was in the elevator with this girl the other day and she had the cutest like acid. Wash pink jeans. Ooh And I was like my instant I was like staring and then I was like I have to say something. She's going to think I'm GONNA ask your pants with accused of ever seen expecting it. Someone says something Nice. You're always like. Oh Oh that's what that one? Oh I think that we should on here right now. Make a pledge when we see something we like. We say it okay. Yeah if you see it then say it also if you see something alone man like I like saw people's nails if one has really nice nails. Clearly they cared enough to have that done. Yeah I'm like you're firing them. This whole time. Being on a coral salmon coral color jobber kind of an overall along peach alone. Yeah I love I got my nails. Done like a special pattern. I went to go pick up Indian food and the woman was like. Oh I love you nails. Say you think are copies for myself. You know that the restaurant would not you but honestly nails is such a such a thing where it is kind of myself because I look at my hands more than anybody. I was a natural nail person for years and I had always make a point to like. Yeah don't waste your money get your nails done but again. I think that was like some kind of judgement or something and I start getting done last year as sort of like an offset to my wedding ring being gone and like having to process that and. I'm never going back. I love it and especially if you do instagram's like I do a lot of inside a room like here's my package and I'm like honey. Yes we have a Vanna White. I'm always GonNa have the nail it brings me joy to. And what else brings me joy? Oh here it is hypothetical hypothetical game where Alison gives us a hypothetical situation. We decide what we would do in that situation as many questions as you want. I cannot wait. We will be wrong. Okay our first game. Is this person in alien or just rude? Okay wall of the doctor for a checkup. The nurse takes out a measuring tape and measures your hips she. Then perfect for birding and smiles encouragingly. Is this person alien or just route? How what what is she? Using to measure during tail measuring but like a cloth. Is this part of the medical examiner. Was this just done kind of Shakespeare. And you've been to this accurate for no other. Nurses ever done this interesting. Is She. Doing other measurements on your body L. Just your hips issue writing. It Down No. Is She trying to get you pregnant? I can't answer that until I hear your answer. Okay Khaki or you're gonNA say jokes rude. I think she's an alien and she's trying to impregnate you at the future of the alien race. Well you're close so she's not trying in pregnant you with the future of the alien race. She just knows that you will what they give birth to the future of the human race in wants to make sure that that Labour will be easy for you. Got It okay. Thanks and she did that by convincing me. That something is wrong with my body. No she said perfect for birthing but okay but then. That's the assumption that all women want to have babies and I take issue so she could alien and also route. She's an alien and she wrote. Yeah you don't comment on other people's bodies I agree and also like some shaming women for having natural burrows like what if I want to have a C. Section? What if I have to have the c-section need that trauma and that's competition as well? Sure is okay. I feel attack even. Okay go to the next. One are a terrible parent. Your adult daughter wants to get stem cell fillers in her face even though it's a new procedure that hasn't been FDA approved. You are worried about the potential complications. So you offered to drive her to her appointment. You get lost on purpose and make her miss her slot. The next appointment is in for another year due to a long waiting list. Are you a terrible parent within six months all the clinics have been shut down by the FDA? You're good parent. I think you're a good parent but I also feel like you should have just been transparent about how you were feeling instead of hiding behind guys of Oh my ways atmosphere of you know what I mean. So I think you're half good parent. Yeah like is it your your place to intervene. Does the kid thirty seven. Wait a second I said adult daughter. Yeah Okay and why are you driving them? Because you like your buddies but can't can't you say I don't approve of this if you WanNa go go on your own but I can't? I can't be part of it. You could say that you did in. This happened okay. So I think you're bad parent because you're not communicating. Yeah and do you think that parents should ever interfere with blake beauty stuff with their kids? Well yes okay. So this is the thing is that you can be honest with them. About how feel in terms of like like confronting it head on rather than just going around it and pretending you got lost like I think if you have kids and they're really struggling with like competing with their classmates are like beauty. Standard type stuff You you should talk to them about it and make sure that they are like Jackie said. Seeing real people seeing instagram accounts are seeing pictures of or hanging around people who actually look like real people and realizing that there's like a normalization of toxicity that there shouldn't be also let me tell you something a parent as a parent do not talk shit about your own body. Yes do not talk badly about your own body because your kids here. You and my mom has done this her whole life and it puts a little voice in my head because she and I look alike and when she criticizes her own body it makes me feel like she's criticizing my body and she knows that I've told her that before. So if you're a parent don't criticize yourself or your kids body or kind of anybody's body anybody's body 'cause your kid can hear you really good points so we've touched on what's going to be our third hypothetic okay. Which is a brand new game called? What do you do what you do no? It's more like what day do what they do what they do with. Allison okay what do you do? Your daughter has been comparing herself to her best friend who has a short Pixie Cup. She decides that she needs a short pixie. Cut To to look more beautiful an asks you to book her a hair appointment what do you do? I think you should say. Do you actually WanNa Short Pixie cut or do you just want to compete with your friend? If you actually want it to hair grows back happy to have you do it. And that's a lesson to hair go. Oh maybe I should stop comparing myself because this is not right for my bone structure. I mean that's like Lisa three or four year lesson. Yeah don't let them three or four year. Well listen if your kid wants to get a certain haircut I would just say. Why do you want to get that certain haircut and really get the bottom of it and then be like okay? Well how about we do some. There's all these fun apps now we could try on the cuts and see if you liked them and if they say I like that goes great. I'm going to take you and you're GONNA get it. Yeah I think you should let your kid kind of do what they want. I didn't ex boyfriend. Who all his toddler. Pictures had pink hair as like. Why do you have pink hair? And he's like I asked my mom for it and so she died my like really. I mean it washes out who cares like I was four. Why did you want paintcare? I don't know probably like power rangers or something like I was like. I want pink hair. Yeah and I think parents really get wrapped up in that and like just let your kid like express themselves right. I totally feel that and again if the kid hates the haircut then be like well honey. This is a lesson like now you know. I think that's also super healthy for any person of any age range like if you WANNA make drastic change in your appearance. Think about it for a good year. Yeah you still feel that way a year later. Then maybe maybe you're like okay. Let's check in two weeks and and like give me some reasons. That aren't just Jillian. Has this haircut. Also do you think she's in love with Jillian? Absolutely there is a phenomenon in the queer community. Where you start to WanNa look like the person you have a crush on. That's just that's just the Cole Sat scientist. Thank you so much for joining us in this important discussion. Jackie where can people find out more about you? Well if you want to listen to natch butte. Both of the ladies in the room with me have been on. Come check it out. Nashville is a podcast anywhere. You podcast and you can follow me at Jackie. Michelle Johnson GUFFAW. My dog at hollow on the Church in the room right now has more. Glamorous live on all of us so cute and Don Nash Butte on his scrambling. Thank you figure out after the break? We're going to be discussing. What makes us skill beautiful? Welcome back to just between us. It's time for topic. Xxxxx see well. This has been a lot to Brussels on my God. We've talked about so many good things. I'm very excited. So let's just wrap it up with like a brief conversation about about what makes us feel beautiful? Because I think you're right that the term beauty in itself is like what does that mean. What does that mean? It's so confusing. Ha like it's ever changing personally and societally. Oh my God of course I mean everybody knows that like back in the day like more voluptuous bodies were considered like more beautiful. And then you know in early August. It was popular in the nineties to be like you know stick thin and then now it's popular to be a little bit more voluptuous again. Like there's no way to way it's all over the place I think that's why this campaign is like so timely because so relevant it's because we're finally ready to have that conversation. Yes totally you know so. It's not like if this had happened like fifteen years ago we wouldn't have been like shut up yet now. Everyone is ready to like actually confront this thing. People are being more vulnerable and more open and like sharing and more. I feel like people are being more kind to each other. Yeah definitely so. What makes you feel beautiful so I was thinking about this and honestly I really love my earrings. Yeah you really have a lot of earrings on. And it's such a weird thing that's like kind of just like come about but like I put a lot of thought until like my earrings and I like. Switch them up and I have like this cool earing. That's like connects two of my piercings and it's just like as much as I say like. Oh I did not like into fashion like I think. Come into earrings. Yeah you have like six earrings end. Yeah and that's like kind of like a little bit of showy nece. Yeah like it's my funky. It's like it's like the part of my body that's funky yeah. I love my tattoo on my arm. The little flowers like whenever I look at that and I'm like oh it's so beautiful. I love my tattoos. Also a lot of tattoos and I I always liked them and when I'm feeling down I like to get another one. Oh Yeah 'cause then you're like Oh look. I added some art to me. I hung a painting basically. I feel beautiful when I have gotten enough sleep. Oh Yeah when I feel well rested. I can see it in my face because when I haven't gotten enough sleep I feel like I can. I can just see like this cloud over myself when I have gotten enough. Sleep unstoppable beautiful. I feel beautiful when I like. Make people laugh. Oh no that's like weird and silly but like I feel like oh even if it's just like beautiful energy it is. It's a lot of energy base. Yeah if I'm like talking to a group of people and I'm like making everyone laugh. Like what a fricken high like. Everyone's looking at me for good reason enjoying me and like you know insane. If like if you're in a meeting and like everyone is just like listening. Yeah my favorite thing about working out. Is that when I can lift my laundry basket? I measured it as like when I first started working out. I could not lift my full laundry basket and at the end of a year of working out I can lift my laundry basket and that in a literally all I want. I'm very proud of you. Thank you and that's the that's kind of the only because like you've nit pick your own body or whatever but that's kind of the only tangible thing is like I could not lift my laundry basket last year at this time and now I can lift my laundry basket. You've achieved something tangible achievement. I think that like I used to think I had such small boobs but now I'm like I have wonderful boobs. Oh Yeah and part of that is like I gained weight and so they're like a little bigger but like I'm like really. I'm really into my boobs now. That whole situation where you gained weight. And you're like look at my Cleveland. That was big for you very thrilling. Yeah that's so funny because there was a part of my body that I always thought was lacking for like you know what's fiery long. This comes down to like competition but like I always thought. Smaller boobs were more attractive. Well I need a big boobs. My boobs are great for my body their proportionate but grass is greener. And like. That's how you never win. Is that you like treat beauty as a competition. You will never and so true to me. Do you want to come in and talk to us about beauty? What are your thoughts on toxic beauty standards? Oh my gosh well I. I'm glad that there's more positive messaging for the next generation of young people out there for sure. I mean there's mixed messages still. That's still problematic. But they have more positive images other now so that makes me happy. Yeah this campaign is doing this really cool thing. Or they're doing Teaming up with six different Olympic athletes and like sometimes it's like an individual athlete and then one is like A volleyball team. And they're making animated shorts like Alex shorts out each of these different athletic duos or groups or person Competitors and each one focus on a different aspect of like a toxic beauty standard. So like Simone's is about fighting trolls. Yeah and then like a troll like the comments like huge beasts. That's like a preview of it. It's really cool. So we're going to put link in the show description for you to watch the trailer for the series which is called verses so like for example Simone versus trolls guys get it get it versus means And then you can watch out for when all of the series launch and you can watch all six episodes which will be even more fun. Oh Yeah we saw previews of them and their incredible. Yes so check out that link and then also we're gonna be doing another podcast centering around beauty standards and competition tactician all of that. So if you guys WANNA send international questions specifically about that that would be awesome in that episode will be coming out in. May so you have some time to let us know what you're thinking. Yes ascended to just between us pod gmail.com that's just between US P. O. D. G. DOT COM and. Ask US your beauty standards beauty competition questions. We will answer them in that episode and also you can suggest like a relevant topic for topics about that too. Yeah more specific you want to get into. Oh Yeah we love suggestions and we are like very dedicated to what this campaign is promoting. Which is that beauty is. Hashtag no competition. Yeah I love it. What would you rate the episode Five out of five t shirts that say smiling doesn't win gold medals. Okay Mug right now. It was so good. Honestly that's the best rating we can give for this show. It was perfect. Take you so much to Simone biles for letting US interview her. Thank you Jackie Johnson. For coming on and talking about everything that she knows so well and just between us this hosted by me. Allison Raskin me. Gabby done our engineers Brendon Burns. He also composed are killer theme music producers whether spirit and are supervising producers. Josephine Martorana our executive producer. Chris Bannon just between us is a production of stitcher. Beauty is Hashtag no competition. We love you simone stitcher.

WanNa Jackie Johnson Simone biles writer Alison P. O. D. Allison Janney Olympics Gabby Japan Kimbler sloppier instagram US Tika sumpter Kevin Hart Abc Oregon
Blow Them Away (with Courtney A. Kemp) - Episode 40

Rants and Randomness with Luvvie Ajayi

1:03:38 hr | 8 months ago

Blow Them Away (with Courtney A. Kemp) - Episode 40

"People'S WALK INTO RIGHTS RANDOMNESS. Love your side sorceress. And typically things. I'm loving things I'm side. I and something that makes me feel good but sometimes I do a special episode when an interview is so good it needs to stand on its own. And that's what we have here on this episode. I'm talking to coordinate camp. Call Creator and show runner hit stars. Tv show power. She's a force to be reckoned with an influential black woman. Hollywood get things done. She dropped so many gems that this interview needs to stand alone. She talked about growing up as the only black woman in her city she talked about. Why impossible central dozen Sykora out and how? She handles the challenges thrown at her their times in the interview when I went to jump out of my chair and run around because she wishes preaching Courtney's a straight shooter who knows her shift and she's not shy about it and I love everything about her. I know you're going to really enjoy this episode because I love listening to it so also check out other standalone interviews. That I've done this podcast rich Dennis Episode Twenty Yvette Noel Shore episode. Twenty-three to Shonda Brown docket episode twenty nine mice standalone interviews like masterclasses and. I'm thankful to everybody who joins me on this. Show Courtney thank you for joining me. I let me draft this new podcast on you shot up to this episode sponsor the sugar. It's a new podcast. You should check out. It's a show for model women of Color and it's hosted by chocolate goddess Tika sumpter. You might know his model or from the hit show mixed dish or other movie roles. Her Call House Tie Randolph. Who is an award winning business exact and is one of the head of Kevin Hart Elo Network every week? Tica Thai invite a woman of Color to talk about the unique perspective on. Motherhood love friendship everything in between the sugars as four in by the modern Brown Mama. They wanted to make sure they'll save space for all women. Moms MOMS and those undecided to laugh. Learn and loving each other as they navigate life. You can listen to the sugar. Now your favorite podcast APP and make sure to subscribe in favor search for the sugar that's S. Uga now onto my interview with cordoning. Hey Courtney I how are you? I'm good how are you doing? I'm good just trying to figure out if I'm going to go to New York tomorrow. Sh crazy this is no awards nuts but thank you for making time. Are you kidding me? I'm I'm a huge fan. Oh man this is so. This is exciting. This is exciting mark. Does she sound good. We're all good. I all right so I'm continue with the reserve amazing women during women's history month and we have a powerhouse black woman making history and entertainment on the show. Today Courtney a Kim Courtney thank you so much for coming on the show. Oh my goodness thank you so much for having me your bio. Because you're epic nece Israel Courtney. Kemp is a television writer and producer in two thousand fourteen. She created the Star Series Power. Which just had a series finale in is the most washed original series on Starz with millions of views and has several spinoff shows in production right now like five she was also a writer on shows like the Bernie. Mac show the good wife and beauty and the beast. Courtney is one of the most powerful women in television and I am excited to have her on ransom. Randomness Courtney thank you for coming on. It's my pleasure and I'm really excited to be honest with you. Learned super excited so I always start by asking my guests. What did you want to do a. b. When you were growing up? I Well I've been writing and making up stories since I was a very little girl I'd probably say like four or five How we started playing. Yeah definitely I was. I've always been a storyteller. My mom you know kind of laughs about it and I see it now in my own daughter We have a lot of fun making up stories but I started that back then and then When I was in high school I started reading James Baldwin and I thought oh I really WanNa be a I WANNA be a novelist. Okay and My Dad said No. You're going to be a lawyer instead and I said okay I really like the law As it is on TV. But when I went to college I just. I don't know I just stayed with my love of words on a went to. I went to college for English. Lit and modern culture immediate studies which at Brown was like the study of film. And it's really funny because I never took the production classes at Brown. 'cause I'm Never GonNa make a movie I've never gonNA make TV. I just WanNa talk about it all these years later here. I am With like so much. Tv making. I could hardly handle it. I mean you are again. There are several queens televisions. You're definitely one of them did you. Do you find any old stories. Used to write like when you were young I do. I do find them They're all very sad. It's really interesting like everything I wrote. S- In high school was really sad and had sat and things in the. Middle School won a state prize for an article. I read about being the only black person Or One of the few black people in my high school But I won an award in Middle School for a story. I wrote about nuclear Holocaust and the end of that story is like the last pieces of nuclear winter fall on the last plant. And it's like the last thing that dies for the group of people that have been hiding underground. It's really sad and I guess it's funny because when people when we killed rain on the show spoiler alert for anyone who doesn't watch power but when we killed Raina a lot of people such because it's so sad and I was like really feels kind of like what would happen but I I so yeah. I do kind of have a history of writing stuff. That doesn't have happy endings. Sorry everybody so wait. How are you as a kid? Were you writing these stories? What was your personality like? I always loud. I mean I'm a Camp. We're all loud And very sort of boisterous and funny but I was also pretty introspective You know I think anytime you grow up And a lot of people who look like you around you do feel different too. I felt different. You know and That was something that I really couldn't share a lot of people because they weren't like me and they didn't understand And I didn't really fit in in groups of people of Color at that age. Either because I wasn't I didn't have any cultural references. I was kind of on an island by myself and so I mean that's a great question. What was I like? I was a musician. You know working very hard on singing and on piano and clarinet. I was writing a lot. I was getting straight as I was doing a lot of musicals. You know I mean. I was reading a lot of theater reading a lot of plays. I was reading a Lot. I mean I think that's the best answer is I was reading a lot but I have friends and all those things but I had like the theater kids But I was not. I wasn't cheerleader. I wasn't on a sports team. I wasn't having that experience. I wasn't having the like Typical Connecticut High School Experience Connecticut what city it's called Westport. It's it's now. It's a little bit more diverse. But at that time in the eighties. You know we're talking. Reagan era Definitely not such a diverse place to be in. Everyone was a Republican. And I remember I went to school. The Mondale Ferraro Button on my Jean Jacket and like I got knocked Had Two big Afro puffs at that time and all the kids called me Minnie mouse. I mean it was like it's fine like I look back on it and I laughed but I definitely remember that different. Nece that that separateness and how. I really couldn't wait to find people who are like me when I got out. How does your parents handled that? Basically being on your own island their call. You know my dad really You know what he was a younger man all the executives where he worked. I'm 'cause he worked at General Foods and then he works at various advertising agencies. All the executives lived outside. New York City they lived in Westport and Fairfield and all those towns And you know new Rochelle and scarsdale and so. That was his goal he was like. I'm just as good as these white guys. I'm going to have a house up there. I'M GONNA raise my family out there just like they do which I understand number. He was coming and then he I guess he moved us out there. Thinking okay you're gonNA grade education then you're gonNA have all the advantages that white kids do but we aren't. We weren't like kids so they there were some losses you know there were some gains and losses. I think my mom tried to like stitch it together with Jack and Jill a little bit but I think my dad was much more like look. You're getting this advantage. And because he grew up with all black people is my mom and I'm grew up in segregation I really think that my dad kind of felt like oh you'll get over it like black. Misses something not something that you learn something that you are? Well that is true to some extent but I think as I grew older. I really self selected into an African American identity. Not everyone does though. Choi so I was always yearning for more of people like myself. You know One of the things that I am always sad about is that with other black women my age. I didn't grow up braiding hair. I didn't grow up doing other people's hair. Your grew up with all of that. So it's like I missed certain things And I always laugh at people and I say oh I wasn't really black until nineteen ninety four. 'cause I graduated high school and then when I went to college. That's when I started if found people But I had to leave my hometown do it? How DID YOU PICK BROWN? Did you pick that as your? Undergrad My Dad said I will pay for any Ivy League school senior. I'm not saying you know I wanted to go to like Sarah Lawrence or bard or someplace that was about writing and my dad was like nope you're not going to any of these silly little liberal arts schools to get a degree in nothing so when I looked at all those Ivy League schools Brown was the one that had like a creative writing program like they were very much like. Hey don't worry about corker doing math. Whatever so it was kind of perfect for me and then when I visited the When I visited the campus I fell in love with it and it wasn't that far from home. She had a lot of there are a lot of advantages to to God. It was only like three hours from home. Not that I wanted to close to them but they wanted to be to be close to them 'cause at first when they said that I was like which one is furthest away. Like how fast can I run? How far can it is Cornell? Far enough like who wears worse far enough so kind of a funny story In that way. But that's why for trump for sure college for me was life changing and that kind of changed the way I looked at the world. What was what. Did you think you learn the most in college? Oh God I learned so many things. I mean. I wish I could talk to my college though. What would you say? I really wish I could I would say grill. You're eating disorder. It's troubling let us get help now. Ish I would say You know having a man is not the most important thing. You don't need that not right now. You're in your early twenties. Go live go to France. You know I didn't. I didn't go to Like exchange program. 'cause I was fluent in French at the time. I barely use it now but I was at the time. I really wanted to go to France on student exchange my junior year and my Boyfriend at the time was like I'm not GonNa wait for you when you go. We have to break up so I didn't go. I wish I could slot my old self upside the head. It'd be like that plane. Get on the plane but of course we don't know these things were teenagers I guess what the most important thing I learned that education Changes Class. You know that you become middle class through education no matter what so even though 'cause my friends who came from less ethnic background They were they would talk to me all the time about. How going home changed them. 'cause they've seen a new kind of the world part of the world Not Rhode Island but books education through being around people who had had a different experience in my man. So let's dig into that like. How did you end up having into sort what happened that basically was the catalyst for that? I mean it's a great question and it's something that's not talked about in our community at all. I mean so many things around mental health and depression anxiety. Obviously the people do not talk about in our community and I find it to be like vicious how we die. How we I as a community is because we don't talk about these things because once we don't talk about them. We don't talk about Muscle House. We don't talk about Addiction we don't talk about any of that stuff and so then people think deeper and deeper into it and just stigma against therapy against Talking to anybody but your preacher about things that it really becomes a Import come some things that people just. That's how people get hurt right because they use sex or they use alcohol or they use drugs or they use other things to cope with those feeling. If they address the feelings potentially they wouldn't have to use those things. And I I do feel like it's it's one of the the great Sort of sorrows of our community that we're not allowed to talk about. Hey I think I have problems. I think I have trauma. I need help But the eating disorder thing just comes from again raised in perfectionism. I was raised in like street. As are the only way again. I was isolated. Because of my race was a look different and It's not uncommon for young women to become anorexic based on wanting to disappear right Wanting to not consume because I was so highly visible I'm still highly visible. I couldn't hide because I just so there was this kind of thing and I think you know. It's not uncommon With women of Color. It's just that we don't talk about And I know well part of the whole not hiding besides the fact that you're black you're also not five two and one hundred pounds right so hundred percent in the eighties nineties. This was not the time when people celebrated you being different or anything besides what is considered the standard of beauty so how did mean not at all yeah and had. I had that profound moment to like the first black Miss America and then they took away her title. You're a member who knows and so then that's to me like I was. I got little moment of like. Oh look at us for five seconds or you know. They took it away or like. There were moments of my child who were seeing people who look like me on television like. Oh look. Mary flo-jo There's Jackie joyner-kersee there were moments where we would pop up. I don't know you're younger than I am. But it's not like it is now for my daughter or even not even my daughters. My daughters mind but like girls who are in their twenties now they have seen so many different kinds of us and shape us like I had a Marlin there. I was totally different about what I look like. Looks like an time but no. I'm not a person not a person ultimately like I'm thirty eight so it was hard for me to hide anyone. Take up space and we're supposed to take space but again. This is a new concept. The permission to take up space is new. How did that Affect Your College? Experience as you're going through this Well I had. I was pretty arrogant about but he tells his time. So I'm sorry those of us to college me to tell you about yourself and how wrong you were in a sociology class. Me Like I was the person who when like a person who is I use the phrase non black. He was non black made a comment about people of color. I was like no. You're wrong. Let me explain to you why you don't know what you're talking about. You know what I mean I was back is a little bit But that was part of identity politics at that time and went to college in like the mid to late nineties. You know it was identity. Politics is all about that it was just so I mean it was so deep Not only politics are raised around gender sexuality and all of that stuff was coming to the fore at that time So I think you know I I think I was pretty stringent. Pretty political for sure You know I mean I was definitely more of a Freddie the survey on different worldwide. Yes exactly exactly But Yeah I think that's probably describes me. I took funny there. Were talking about this because it's not what you're talk about but what were you like. Oh my God in College. Oh man come a similar. I mean college when I actually started blogging so I thought my life was way more interesting than it was out blog about. Like undergrad life. And that's right about whatever exams I wasn't studying for I took myself very seriously But I was goofy and I it was my first time being by myself too so I kind of discovered who I was without parents will separate supervision funny enough who I am without prances supervision was very close to who I was with parents I was still very like I gotTa make sure I'm going to class. I gotTA MAKE SURE. I'm not failing out of college. I gotTa make sure that I'm being responsible. But my major was in psychology and yours was English Linton. Yeah English English and American literature. See I I was like I'm supposed to be a doctor. Because you know Nigerian girl that didn't happen but I think I was still convicted to like not do something that was liberal arts. So what may have you the confidence I was gonNA say. My Ex husband is His is from Ghana so I was kind of in that whole world for a long time. We were together for twenty years and the kind of that pressure on the kids of African intimate Immigrants West African immigrants to be her sick exceed. It's like it's like as bad if not worse than what I was going through a man. I can't even imagine I can't even imagine being a girl. And that's my my ex-husband's man and it was so hard I mean I just watch that and I was like wow. And he's an attorney you know. He did all the things he was supposed to be checked much check next. Check marks right. He played like college football. He did all the things but it's interesting. It's like you make him do all the things that you're supposed to do. Because and things reined in you you know so it's like my dad has been Deceased now twenty. Eleven bill basically. I'm trying to get an a second. Please him when it comes to like in the basics basics basics of my DNA. I'm still trying to say daddy proud of me yet. You know and it it is. It's fundamental shots episode sponsor. The sugar. It's a new podcast. Check out and about modern women of color four motto women of Color. It's hosted by TIKA sumpter. You might know her as a model from the hit show mixed ish. One of other movie roles her call. Tie Randolph. Who's an award-winning basis? Business executive and every week Tika anti invite a woman to talk about the unique perspective on Motherhood love friendship and everything in between the sugars made four in by the modern Brown Mama. They wanted to make a safe space for all women. Moms MOMS to be those undecided to last learn and love on each other as navigate. Life solicit to the sugar. All your favorite podcast APP and make sure to subscribe favorite search for the show. That's Su GPA. So you graduated with English lit as your major What did you do next? I went to Columbia University in the PhD Program for English Lit And then I got a master's there and left because it was too isolated. I like people to among many Like in a Carol writing basically a book about I was doing my work in Jane Austen at that time. I refuse to do African American literature because it was like every everywhere I went and then again. This is nineteen ninety eight into the height of identity politics anywhere I went the people were like. Oh you're in English literature and you're doing African American lit and I'm like no I'm not. I'm not doing African American lit. Because I look like this doesn't mean that's what I'm doing. I read American but I remember once I had my adviser because I was doing the The eighteen hundreds Because I was during that time period the advisor. They gave me with a guy who had done all that work. And like I just don't you don't just seem like someone who wants to do this work and I was like I. I know I don't seem like that But why he was like well. I'm just saying it seems like you would be more into African American like you said you've really started like you said it wasn't the first person so this been building up and I said to him. I Live African American literature. I don't need to read it well. And he was like and of course I was reading from American lifting. Wasn't that was what I was doing to feed my soul not to do my work and my word. I Read My. That's what my soul not a while. So yes yeah Yeah I had a big mouth Always hold on. I have to sorry okay. I leave me alone. So there's shows shooting right now so Ghost is shooting right now in New York and raised in Canada shooting right now in New York. I'm getting these like consistent text messages about what's happening on set and like crises after prices it's like popping off and I always tell people like I'm not available for this period of time but nobody cares. No this is also valid. Because how did you go from writing about Jane Austen to where you are now? I want to know that Johnny. Because it's so fascinating to me that you you went from doing that to doing this. Well okay it's funny because First of all the answer to a lot of your questions. God really how it happened because I was aiming and his whole direction so I was setting out to be the first black editor in chief of vote. That's really what I wanted. I love fashionable style of beauty skin. I love hair. I live all that So that was kind of what I really wanted to do and I'm very thin. Remember Alexia so I was like really Kinda. That's where I was going. I left Columbia with my master's degree and went to Conde NAST and we'll get mad when I worked at she after and I was really trying to get my way into vogue and when I ask you cue I wrote an article about interracial dating okay for the magazine And it was funny because I really. They've mostly white guys where I was until I met my echogram mostly not entirely but I expect husband and then we were just together and got married and so I'd written this kind of funny tongue in cheek piece about like. Don't take your like it was it was written two white men about dating Black Woman. I was like. Don't take her out for Fried Chicken blase Blah Blah and then they Dot became that went out in the September. Two thousand one issue of G. Q. which means ready because the world exploded I thought that nobody read it. Turns out these two writers Chris Albertini and Mike Chesler still friends with They had read it and they wanted to turn my little story into a TV show. And that didn't actually happen but we ended up creating a show and then going to pitch at. Hbo AND HBO did buy it but I learned like Oh this is what I WANNA do to. I always wanted to write right. I always wanted be a novelist and all these things but I really didn't realize what it was and I think this is true of every successful person I know it's true with new. There was a moment where I had to leap. Mom Walk out on faith so I moved to California and I am and I have my ex a lot of credit here. He was like well. This is what you're GONNA do. We can't stay here. Can't stand you now. You can live in New York and television writer but it was. It's an it's harder than it was impossible. We had to move to La. And so I moved out here. I didn't know how to drive. Really I. It was like it all had to happen then basically and so I moved. I started working for a travel agent. I had an agent when I moved out here because of the article had an agent. Her name's Nancy. She's still my agent Although technically I had to fire her months ago we can talk about that separately because writers guild. I don't know if your listeners know about the writers guild and they don't we haven't talked about that. Yeah so the Writers Guild of America Our leadership A while ago decided that we have fire agents because of the way that they make money off of us as writers and So we had to do all that but Nancy Really believed in me and she said look You're going to get a job out here to move out here and I did and then I started. That was June sixteenth. Two thousand four when I moved out and in August working on the Bernie. Mac Show lucky. Yeah and I will tell you I read a spec Bernie Mac and they hired me off of that and I'm GonNa tell you that never happens but that was God that is got. Here's the thing that whole thing about like you to do the work but then God will make sure that your feet land where they're supposed to be so I moved. If I hadn't moved then it would be very different but I moved. I tell God okay. I'll meet you more than halfway and that happened and then I will also just say for the listener. I worked at first year Bernie Mac and when I got fired because I wasn't funny the odor. That word straight up wasn't funny. How often do like and I talk to You. Like for the most part. We're very loudly funny so I thought I was like I got this. No I do not got it I didn't know how to navigate the politics I didn't know how to be in the world. I just didn't know how to do all those things. I didn't have the emotional maturity. I was still like a child and Milan weight and I didn't know how to do it. You know I was so used to being the person who put her hand up. I I just didn't how to like sit quietly. Marne and I didn't know how to get along. I didn't I mean I really wish I could hug that version of me. You know. Twenty six twenty seven year old me. I would really like to give her a hug. And just say Oh girl. You'RE GONNA figure this out it's GonNa take some time. Do you remember what they fired you? They don't fire you directly. Okay call your agent. And they say they're not asking me back But I remember that phone call. I remember I sitting and I remember being like okay. Well I don't WanNa fucking work for them anyway. You know I had a little bit but then also it was my first big failure in life Because I was so proud I was working on a show that my parents actually like I was making like one hundred twenty thousand dollars a year with huge huge amount of money Steph from where I had been I was like really I mean. My Dad had sort of bet against him down there he said. Well don't move out there because we'll be back in a year. Ooh ouch and I moved. Yeah but that was the thing he wanted to be a lawyer with the fuck. Tv to California TV writer which is which is for real. Yeah yeah totally and you think you're a black woman. No one's GonNa let you do that. And he's right. People didn't let me do it. I had to kick doors down and punch my way through But he was a pioneer in his own way. And I think that was actually very inspiring to me but you go back so I had written You know coming off of that. Nancy said to me Well do you really want to write comedy? Beverly what you WanNa do and I said No. I don't even watch comedy. 'cause I didn't I didn't I watched law and order and like you know those kind of things I watched Like drama and so she said okay. We'll write a dramas back and I wrote a CSI and that got me hired on a show called injustice which is the first show that Robert and Michelle King Creek created for ABC And rather than Michelle went on to create the good wife and I worked with them for three years on that later but after that after leaving comedy drama. I worked year consistently from Dan often in TV. I never had erased that out. I was always listening. I was very fortunate I mean show got cancelled and we strike but I always works because I finally got it in the right place doing the right thing at the right time and I was too for a lot. You know they'd like they'd hire back in the day. And that time they would hire all their white straight men of course and then they would go. We need a woman or we need a person of color and sometimes led the. I got the job so I was books. Say More than what you say. You got the job because you were. Broker booked both both meaning. They need someone who is of color all lower than you know woman. They would hire all and they would. Basically there were nine seats in the room. They would hire h straight white guys and then they go. Oh we need a woman or A. We need a personal level. Not because they wanted to but because they needed to look diverse to the studio and so what happened is they would meet me and they go great if we hire her. We don't have to try to hire an additional You are you're a twofer to exactly. I was too far. So what was your approach whenever you you end up on the sets and even if you knew that they hired you for that reason doesn't matter. I mean it's so funny it's like when I hear young people millennials. They're like I can't believe he's about to me like that. He hired me. Because I'm a woman so this stuff what go in and you're just come home care. Why the door open? I don't care why the door open the door opened of walking through it. I don't care like people's Shit is so misplaced to me. I you can. You can buy but It is people could turn about why they're in. The Room. Boggles my mind. I don't care why I'm in the room. I love that because a lot of people have the impostor syndrome of like. Oh my God draw belong here so they make it affect what they do and how they show up. You're saying it doesn't even matter whether or not you think you belong there. Just get the job done. Correct wreck like that. That is a new perspective. I've not heard from a lot of people. Wow Yeah yeah I mean I just think it's like you can't you can't imposter syndrome thing for me has never been. That's never been really a thing for me I have it sometimes. Of course personally I have that but when it comes to the greater like I don't put this when it comes to corporate structure when it comes to You know the traditional powers that be who has been in power for a long time when it comes to them looking at me. I don't have imposter syndrome because I know I'm being underestimated and I've had dray had David On power and I think I had ghost. Maybe say to him at one point but being underestimated the best thing that can ever happen to you in business. It's the best thing you want. People look at you and go. Oh she can't do that. You want that you want that. Why because then you blow them away with your excellence. And then they've surprise you have elements of shock people to prove them wrong. You always want people to go on record saying you can't do something. Go on record yes do it please. Yes they she can't do that. I don't want to prove you wrong. Not only do I look like a starbucks. You look like a fool and I didn't have to do anything from you. Know Guy you preach. That is a preach. Oh I love that. I love that because we're constantly stuck in this whole people don't expect a lot from me. Let them not expect nothing from you in them bloom. Invite them to invite them to all day long. You know advice them to think that you're less than I had a conversation with So funny we were doing the show called get Christie love which didn't end up being picked up by ABC but it was a great experience. I was on a phone call and a person on the call said and I'm not gonNA name names personal qualified. Well this network or this person. We were talking about a whole bunch of different networks. This network will never do this for you. Because they've never done it before and I said that has nothing to do with anything that is not at all relevant. I have never been relevant. I had never precedent when you're talking about power never would have done the numbers of done for stars so I am not presidential and when you talk about meal you think about me. Don't think about precedent because about how far we can go not how low it has been in the past and that woman. Of course you know on that call. I don't mean that she loved it. I said that but she turned out to be wrong. People have a tendency to turn out to be wrong. But I don't like to call them on it. I like to say my best in my best in higher cell phone. I'm closest to my higher power but I sort of people is okay. Maybe you're right You know and I just I left them. Be Them do your job in the killing new kill it? You try try so when power starting in two thousand fourteen first of all. What did you get the idea of power? How did the whole power thing happened because that show like me my husband sit there? Binge-watching IT on some like. We are dedicating the day to watching episodes to catch up. If we weren't power became a powerhouse on TV. How did that whole thing happened again? The answer the answer. Answer in God because you I'm not in the results business. You work as hard as it can. Leave it out on the field. I mean whatever people can do like whatever people do with that they do that. You can't make people. Watch television show. This is what I say young people all the time you can even if you get it on the air people turn it on and there's so much content now that people have to choose you bright but I will tell you the Lovey is that. We came on at a very specific time where there weren't a lot of shows with people like us in the leads and it was before this whole revolution right. 'cause he was all so we came on and then emperor came on about six months later or maybe four months later and so it was. That was the beginning kind of all of this and so people started to watch it and it grew from there word of mouth. I mean that's how the juggernaut happened. I personally cannot take credit or all the people that watch what I say is I did have to fight by on certain things certain kinds of storytelling. I was like I'm going to be authentic to the experience of people of Color. I'm going to be authentic to New York so it's going to be intensely diverse not just black or Latin but also Asian. You know also like we did everything. We did different kinds of everything we did. You know we did In terms of white people we had diversity because we did Albanians. We did Serb in we. Ha we were doing what was happening New York at the time literally not. Somebody's idea of what you look is and I think that helped very much help us Very early on decided that the Spanish would be specific. And after the most part I would cast Puerto Rican actors. Puerto Rican Dominican Dominican K Cuban actresses keep it for the most part. I did that so that. And then we had Spanish dialect coaches. Who really made the dialect specific to where people were from not this bullshit like Colombian actor playing Mexican with no change in accent real Because we were able to do those things very early and because I was trying to. Innovate you know what I'm trying to say. Let's make this as close to what it should be as it is. What Made WanNa talk that particular story of Ghost Tommy in all their doings well First of all I was writing about my dad. Oh I was. I mean this. This story is out there but I was writing about my father's obsession like image 'cause even advertising so he was always advertising himself and he always said to us. If you smell good and look good and sound good white people will give you a shot. And so he was coming from he was born in nineteen forty one and so that's where he was coming from and I think ghost is that closet ghost. Yeah that was my dad's closet during his long closet with all. These students had beautiful suit like soon after suit shirt after shirt pocket square after pocket square. Get all these clothes and he was always transforming himself. He kept himself a good shape. He was always kind of transform themselves to be the most perfect integration of himself And I think that's part of what was he had just died in March of that year. Guide much fifty thousand eleven and so I was writing about him and then my took him plus fifty such a fifty story of having been a drug dealer and having the side and in specific case. It's interesting my dad. Went to business school at Dartmouth. He was the first black man to graduate from there. Okay Fifty if you talk to talk to him is basically a fortune. Five hundred zero really in his brand had been born and raised where I was born in He would've gone to wharton business school the graduate school he would be the titans of industry. I is it his own way but I think it's like this is the thing about people having opportunity. This is the reason that I don't have that imposter syndrome. When we're talking about the larger more traditional conventional or mainstream people who have been charged. I went to the same schools. They did and I got the same as they did so i. I'm not intimidated. I'm like yeah and you have the credentials right. I I know buffy Murphy I went I went to their summer house to move on I think when you look at someone like fifty doesn't have that educational background but is so smart and so- strategic and I think it's like my dad is kind of a blend of both because I grew up kind of in the hood but also brilliant and got himself other From that and I think that I guess I wanted to bring those things. So that's your story really comes from it comes from the breaking good. I always say it's breaking good breaking bad on TV. For a while. And I'm like what is the other version and then two tell you tell you the truth. I wanted to write about ghost. Originally the rations. He was an alcoholic in the country. Okay twelve step program that I was told that the audience wouldn't find that relatable so we took that the very very specifics of that out of the show but ghost struggle with alcohol is still pretty present in the show. If you remember mess up. Yeah like he'll get drunk and say something crazy do something crazy. Act The fool. Wow See I actually hadn't heard that story of of how goes came to be that character. And then Tommy you created the TV. Show that I'm pretty sure your audience was mad diverse too which is also in itself a gift because a lot of times. Tv shows marketed. As this is a black showed this is a white show. This is the show for these people as the show's going along. Did you receive any type of push this you had to fight or were you given creative control creative control things full creative control and television when he tells you their full creative control is lying unless they have a youtube channel good to know but but no I mean I always had no there? They were always pieces The process that I got pushed back on. The show did not start out with an incredibly diverse audience black audience because they put they decided to put the original poster. Why's Amari holding a gun from executive producer fifty cents? And I've always said the that I am so happy. They put from executive producer. Curtis Fifty Cent Jackson on the poster. I just wish that they had four grounded. The suit more because what they did was they kinda they kinda like. Yo Hip hop body and this is you and I had a white friend of mine white male friend of mine. Say I'M NOT GONNA WATCH THAT. Show poster what. I watch it. It's not for me. And the show was about the American dream. The show was a fundamental. And this is something I say to young writers all the time if your show is about a universal question you have the wrong show. The universal question in power is does my pastic take my future. Wow which is a big part of the American dream which is can transform right. That's what we're all about here. In America Life Liberty suited populists. We can change you. Think about how surgeon is the one of our fundamental text. The word happiness in it because silly we are we are like we. We have the right to be happy but happiness and has to do with free creation self image. We we hold these truths to be self evident that all men are created equal. I right as I have sleep. I write this as I have slaved. What does that mean? It means that I'm creating an myself an image of a perfect statesman but I'm ignoring the fact that I actually am not fit at all. Sorry to get deep please get. Did you basically giving a master class right now? Continue the question of your series always has to be universal. Pass dictate my future. That is a question that everyone can ask themselves black white Asian native no matter what if you are if you are a native American woman who lives on the Rez. And you have figured out some way to get yourself into a great school and we've moved away from home home. It's still in you but maybe you want to transform and be something that you can bring back and help other people that still does my pocket my future. Do you know what I'm saying? Things are all in there and so the first stars was like. Let's get the low hanging fruit this my former boss Chris because like I protested. Actually why is this poster poster? Why why is it this? Why are you not marketing? This show more widely. Why the show not being brought to the attention of people who are non blacks and he said to me. Look at the low hanging fruit first. Let's get the people who we know are going to watch the show. I and I still disagree with that. Fundamentally emotionally I felt that that was such a rejection of the quality of the program that I was putting forward but I also understand that his perspective he was like I need to grow this audience. And there's another piece of it and fifty two black people defined cool. We find something we say. This is cool and then other people through this this is facts actual factual. But did you have actually? Did you ever feel a way about? There are times when people forget that. There's actually a showrunner behind this fifties and executive producer. There are times that I've seen you be erased. How have you have you dealt with that? Have you even have you? Does it matter to you on a couple of different answers to that? Most of the time as writer I mean I. I was a journalist too so There's a bill of being journalist. That is about like. Don't look at me subject right even in our conversation right now as much as this is your show. You're doing this thing that I would be doing if I had mine. Which was asking the other person's the questions and trying to get 'cause this is that moment for your audience to be able to talk to me so I feel as though part of it. Is that a core of our audience. Our fifty fans and fifty is the face because in a way that's the thing he enjoys being on camel. I don't like doing all that that's not really me. I can't really. I can't really deal with the public. In that way. Like the people are like at fifty. He's like yeah yeah he gets right back like he's clapback and all that that's not for me. I don't really WANNA do that. I'm busy show running and being a mom which McCann's took part of it is a really great marketing works best Part of it is that when I've been on the like fifty most powerful show runner list or some of these other lists and variety and all those things and it's really about your peer group to some extent and it's really about what is going to allow you to do more work as you. Well know when you wrote the book it's like he wrote the book and then that allows you to do work and that more work we got more. Yeah but you know what I'm saying. It's like Yep so really the question then what what What gives me more work and I guess bad ultimately rate is. I don't care too much like I just running the show. I want to deal with other show when we talk to other show runners. I want to be able to run shows and I feel like that's kind of where the impact is. And then anyone who wants to find me or wants to see me out there on instagram or whatever but if you are young writer and you want Advice about writing or your mom and talk about like the crush of being like a working mom and trying to hold down a job and be a good parent. But I'm there for you you can find me But I don't I don't feel so much race. Is I feel like I do what I do if he does what he does. And that's what makes a good partnership in a way you know. I think if I was trying to be out there and like I I don't know I mean. I have to do a lot of things if I was going to be out there every so often I think about like oh joy WanNa like you know. Figure out a way to be thought. I'd like transferring myself to show runner slash DOT com. Would that be fun? But I don't WanNa be famous. I think you've nailed something here. You've nailed something. You can do the work. I I feel like the people who can do work. Without having to face the publicness of it. All the the backlash the the CASS CAPS. Caps of. It all have have kind of nailed. It you're at the perfect intersection of where you're making your money. Your your peers. No you you're given the opportunities but you don't have to deal with the of it all. Yeah I don't think Yeah I don't think there's like a a downside to that I don't need to be more famous. I have friends who are famous. Like one of my good friends is La. La Anthony Yes I don't I don't be that you know what I mean like she is. I think so. Great at what she does all the different things. She's a great actress and she's a wonderful being a great mom like she was supportive mother and she put all that energy. I I see that we go out to dinner and people have to interrupt the meals properly when you take a picture and I'm like I don't want that necessarily you know people do ask me for pictures and stuff and like that's not a great. I appreciate the sport but I'm just saying that It's for me thing where you don't necessarily want to invite into your life and I personally don't post pictures of my daughter Online 'cause I don't want people to be mad. That goes through dead and they get out cannot tell you people really feel a lot of feelings about things okay and they really take a lot of feelings about TV shows and what happens. I'm just I know to wreak the Michael Rainey junior who plays to wreak on power. He posts on instagram frequently. The he gets death threats because people hate his character so much. And I'm like why is everybody this? I understand good storytelling. It's actually a testament to the good storytelling of this show. But people really do in their feelings so I think it's an amazing idea that you don't post your daughter. I actually WanNa talk about that a little bit. 'cause like it's weird. I've never in a totally safe space to say this. But I feel like I'm going to save space with you. I can say this. I really really don't understand the people who feel like they need to put a desperate over the Internet to a minor but he was a minor one point. He's nineteen now but like sending him that stuff and he was under eighteen and then how. Dt will now you're a grown ass person and you need to threaten the kid wrong. You like literally fundamentally something is wrong with you like really wrong like you need to go seek help because it's not funny. It's not cute. That's a human being doing his job and Bolo doing the job so well that you believe him in mind that most of these people when they were eighteen or nineteen years old could hold down a fulltime job. Come on you're talking about literally. What are you talking about like honestly? I'm going this way. I'm just like this is maddening madden. It is but I feel protective because this is a child that WHO's grown up under my watch. It was eleven years old when I hired him while eleven the fifth grader. Why WE'VE GROWN ASS? Men Men now grown men threatening this is like this guy. There was this guy who threaten to rape and murder. Leila because of what and Angela arrested ghost at the end of season bringing like sent her it was like a you know he thought it was ha funny jokes stroke the FBI got involved. It was like a whole thing because he was like he thought it was funny like but she hasn't done anything re-re went to work. She showed up. She takes a shower. She underlines she went to work. I had to go by the way all fake people don't actually exist like it is so frustrating to me I understand. I'm thankful so much where people being passionate about the show but it is a television show. Yeah the television show that people were relaxed. Take it down about ten to fifteen really. Yes all my Grad. Also the people who write on my instagram worst writing ever your terrible writer coast is dead. No I'm a great writer because you're mad about it. I don't care if you'll like it but it actually proves my point and that was the whole thing that anybody could have stopped him at any time and you'll come up. But he thought he was. Unstoppable keeps showed no humility before God. And that's what happened. No one can stop me. He kept saying he was like nobody can stop me at that. Point right comes before the fall which is pride came so literally. I showed a fall. Y'All up literally tried before the fall merrily. I'm going to say I'm not even that good. I'm happy to have him fall down literally. Like what are you talking about like like it's just so funny so it's like I don't know it's all biblical writer and make anything up. It's difficult experience all those things. And that's I loved. I loved it and I was watching power so proud that a black woman was behind this work. I saw like the quality was amazing. It was everybody was so in their feelings because the writing was so good. And that just brought me so much pride because you go. Work did everything that people might have thought. It couldn't have done and as you're doing this. You mentioned Lila. How do you like? What is the group that supports you? What is who are the people that see you and quiet moments well I have a spiritual community so much community. Is You know batteries. That's my my dog. Lala is important to me Gabriella Rabi who is away my writers. She was my assistant. The first two years of power cheese a genius and has been in my corner You know I have You there I mean I had a friend Shanta who was would be for a long time. Like I haven't had like a lot of really close Female friends like my by my tribal winner for sure. The great and my mom really support a great great. My brother You Know I. I've been very fortunate. What do you think is the thing that your proudest of that? You've done so far in your career or in your life in general. This is a cliche but I made a person. Generous pined person You know is like talented sweet and smart Loving that's real it's not. I don't think it's Cliche is true. I don't think it's Cliche if it's true so as you're doing all of this. Tv dominating writing all this good stuff running shows. There's five shows coming spin offs of power. Which is wild. And that's that's basically like svu level but that's law and order level. How are you taking care of yourself? Oh boy well we I I have to put in the next ninety days. Planner hat to savor beauty. That thing is dope I've been using that I've worked with the program so that obviously that's the essence of stuff care on having a relationship with a higher power pretty much like fundamental prayer meditation Writing on I'd say I like I like a massage ninety minutes sixty minutes. What are you doing ninety minutes or sixty minutes of meditation of of Massage Assange? Oh two hours I can get it. Yeah Ninety a month yeah two hours I can get it for sure I ca. I mentioned to my shoulders. So anything. Ballot I love a bath. I like things that smell good I love beauty like I told you I'd like to give myself a facial and then Yeah I mean. I don't know that was marred. That's very unto your view. I that is very black onto your view. I am a black I I mean really I am a black on. I have a nephew but second of all. I am an aunt the book. I'm forty two right now. So I'm hockey age shit so favored face products. Because I'm all into the serums and the and the moisturizers our we want to know what people are using on their face that you love okay. Well I could go on forever but I think the number one big change in my skin life. That's happened recently. Is Sunday Riley? Ceo Face the old. Yes if I didn't like the oil down. There's a serum those two products will change your skin And then good genes also Sunday Riley at night is like that is a who other than my skin is bright. It's glowing like my skin is so different now because of that are trying to tell people. I'm like Y'all step this game. Balance Deselms is game changing and Sunday rallies whole line including good genes which is acid. Look everything it is worth. All the money's worth all the money and by the way I'm telling you even if you could afford one of those products even even just genes will change your skin like applied religiously will change your skin. People sleep on them. They don't understand that Sunday Riley is like that's the truth. I mean I would totally stand them. I stand this Dan. And if in case we bought worried about the pricing. Just remember this last you like six to eight months so I think it's like ninety bucks. Look you have to buy another one for another six months? I'm telling you it's worth the money Courtney how can people support you? Now what is your next thing that powers done? You can tell us about well and doing. There's a spinoff power. I am starting to work on an HBO series About cops too. That's really fun I wish that I would love. I mean the way I love support. Is You know people follow me on Instagram on twitter? I'm trying to think about my next phase Speaking of the writers field we may go on strike pretty soon allows will definitely disrupt everybody television and bill watching But if we do go on strike. I'm definitely going to start to really think about beauty and And and writing I. I started a couple of short stories just to keep creative. 'cause they can get very easy to make this into a job as you probably. Well know it's something you love and then it becomes a job and you're like oh I gotta do this for my job as opposed to get to do this for my job. Right remaining grateful for meeting humble you know That's so important so Giving time to create. I think to really right and still do writing. It's still open up bird by bird. Still Open up writing down the bones. Still Open up you know Different kinds of writing prompting exercise and still doing those exercises. Even you don't want to even you're tired you know. I speak to all the writers out there but I think this is true. Anybody who wants to do any which is do a little bit of it every does like. Don't say okay. I'm going to do my day job Monday through Friday and then Saturday and Sunday. I'm GonNa Right because I don't even know you're GonNa have other things to do. Take a moment out your day job. Take your lunch break. Take five figure out a way and I mean this is a hard thing for a lot of people but the truth is there is a moment where you're awake and your kids are asleep. There is that moment it does exist. What are you doing that time? Because that time is that's the time that you need. If for example your kids go to bed at eight. If you can stay up until ten what could you do that to our two hours and somebody. That's going to be time with your spouse. Of course it is or with your significant other but sometimes that eight to ten you gotta figure out how half an hour if you doing something toward the thing you do. And they're right. There is how you drop the MIC Courtney. Thank you so much on the show. This is this a I. I'm just such a huge fan of your work and I'm looking forward to whatever the next thing you're doing and I'll let people know where to find you on social media. You're awesome thank you. You're awesome you kidding me and you've been awesome forever. That's the thing I don't know lobby has been like this forever. She is the truth. I like the commercial for you is what I should do. Listen Anyway listen. I honestly like one day. I'm just waiting for one day where I'm going to ask you like come. Sit At your feet and watch you do some day so I can just learn one day. You get that phone call from me. You're welcome any. Yeah thank you so much. And we'll be in touch by much. Love to Courtney camp for taking the time to join me random randomness. Please follow her on social media. She's Courtney camp on twitter. And Courtney a camp on instagram. Courtney C. O. U. R. T. and E. Y. and then a kemp k. e. m. p. y'all stay safe out here. We'll be back in two weeks from now. The episode and much loved the Chicago Recording Company for partner with me on this even recording from home. During these times. They've got me sounding on point. Subscribe to this podcast on Apple. Podcast stitcher Google podcast. Ever you want to follow me on social media. I am at lovey everywhere. See on the next episode.

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Celebrating Milestones

Kind World

18:41 min | 7 months ago

Celebrating Milestones

"Hi everyone this is yes munem host. Andreas why why do we love telling kind world stories? It's because we get to do things a little differently like vastly questions. I've never had before so I appreciate that. I think we need to understand like walking people's shoes to really understand their experience. We get to tell stories that really get at the heart of what makes us human and producing stories about profound acts of kindness has taught us a lot like oftentimes doing something extraordinary for someone even life changing. It doesn't take much. It can be a kind word or a simple gift. Carla's act of kindness turned on a flashlight. And it showed me go this way and gradually things started lightening up around me in the path started showing around me. That's why it's so important. Just do one little thing. We've also seen how resilient people are overcoming difficulties in their own lives to then turn around and help others get through there. How do you pay someone back? Who saved her life? I'm so incredibly grateful that you need to pay it back to her but also pay it forward to others but the most important lesson we learned from these stories is that we truly do live in a kind world. It's not some mythical world we made up it's ours and it's where people constantly step up during tough moments and reach out to others regardless of their differences. We WanNA keep reminding you of that but to do that. We're asking for your help. Kind world is made by you are Boston's NPR station. And we're dedicated to bringing you these stories for free but kind world isn't free to make and to keep going. We need your support visit KBB dot org slash support kind world and donate you. Can we think kind world is special and from what we've heard from you? We think you do too. And we hope it means you think it's worth supporting so again. Visit WB DOT org slash support kind world and help support another year of the kind world stories you love produced by the island at Wvu. Are Boston welcome to kind world. I'm Andrea a swath and I'm yes-men Amer Andrea. You and I both live so close to a bunch of universities here in Greater Boston. And it's right around this time that the streets should be filled with students taking pictures and their caps and gowns. They're happy families but of course that is not happening. I really feel for the class of twenty twenty. You and I are celebrating ten years since we graduated college. Yes ma'am and we can both remember. Just how exciting that moment was. It was so emotional. And we're clearly not the only ones thinking about how to celebrate the class of twenty twenty educators everywhere are struggling to figure out that exact thing in the time of a pandemic. We're GONNA have something for them. It's just not going to be traditional. Can't be that's Vanessa Clark. She's a superintendent of the Lacey Township School district in New Jersey. She kept thinking about what to do. The high school had already printed congrats class of twenty twenty lawn signs for each senior but then she thought why not kick it up a notch for that she needed help from the townships police chief so the next day I called them and I said chief now what would you think if I asked you if you could escort us to visit the home of every single senior in in Lacey Township and his first response to me was. You're kidding right. Oh she wasn't. She had a caravan of about a dozen vehicles teachers. Board members first responders and the all paraded through the township visiting the homes of all two hundred and sixty six seniors from an acceptable social distance. Of course they planted the congratulatory lawn signs in front of each house and left behind a small gift bag with some senior. Swag t shirts coupons water bottles and was misdemeanor that they were waiting for us. They didn't know if we're going to get their nine. Am three o'clock or nine PM. But every time we approached a house they were waiting for us. Which is why it was so important. It took Vanessa and the rest of the paraders more than twelve hours to visit all two hundred sixty six homes where they honked their horns tiered from the street. Yeah it was exhausting but it was also exhilarating after weeks of isolation the fact that we actually got to see them after all this time. that why for me. It was a sober warning. So yeah it's the highlight of my career can honestly say. The story really tugged to my heart. I just imagine all the seniors sitting there and waiting for that caravan so at least they felt acknowledged and they felt that moment of celebration and we have to remember that. Graduation is a milestone. That's different for every senior whether it's a high school senior a college senior. Maybe someone graduating from Grad School for some. It's marking a new chapter and for others. It's a symbol of everything that they've overcome They were the hardest of my life. There were a lot of nights where it's bad and stance until one two. Am It'd be exhausted. Or I would struggle an assignment because I I didn't know how to do it and I would be really down on myself. Twenty-seven-year-old Clarisa McEwan spent the last five years studying business at Weber State University in Utah. And it wasn't easy. When she started she just got a bad marriage. And there's a single mother of two. She desperately wanted to change her family life. I'm the oldest for younger brothers and my mother was addicted to drugs and reporter and we ultimately ended up in foster care system. I'm Julie Young. I guess we didn't have once. Listen to that just had a different lifestyle. Five years after she stepped foot on campus. Clarisa is now a college graduate and did we also mentioned that. She was chosen to give a speech for graduating class. Her kids would see her at that podium and a cap and gown in front of Everyone. This was a big deal. But course you know what happens next? You spend years of your life you know nights Dave's etc building up to this moment and to be told they don't get to walk across the stage Overwhelming wave of disappointment. Think that disappointment really hit Clarisa. When she woke up last Saturday the day that was supposed to be her graduation and her now husband nate. He knew that the I woke up Saturday and get ready to know. It's like I'm not getting quarantine. I don't really getting ready. It was like no just get ready. Like you're going out or something like okay so I gotta got dressed in a two bedroom and my old cap and gown someone I got. My associates was laying on the bed and my speech was sitting there and he had a bunch of friends family on soon. He had the graduation music playing if he put us to put everyone on me now and he let me share my speech with everyone. My name is close McEwen and each of US House story. Some of us are the first our family to graduate so maybe single parents according to family where we may be someone that was told her entire life that they wouldn't make it as much as I enjoyed graduate having an actual graduation. Commencement we state. This was just as amazing. It was really good. I started this journey thinking. I can't do this and now I stand before you today and I can see all of you I did. Do each of us came here to make a change in our lives. Our families lives and the lives around us and the lives of those who will come after us. So let's continue to be the change in the US. Our congrats to Clarisa McEwen in the entire class of twenty twenty. Wherever you're listening from out of you we'll be back with more kind world after the break. Hey I'm Meghna Chakrabarti and I wanNA tell you about another podcast. You might enjoy from W. B. U. R. and the New York Times it's called modern love and it features actors like Jake Gyllenhaal Greta Gerwig and Angela Bassett performing true stories of love loss and redemption. I started my pediatrics residency on the cardiology unit. Which was appropriate. My heart had a giant hole in it. Finally I asked the question I really wanted answered when I die. Modern love subscribe. Wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tika sumpter after his producer and a boss and I'm tyron entrepreneur entertainment exact and also a boss but before any of this time we are mothers. Yes we each have a toddler and we found that we need a safe space to chill unwind. Be completely honest and talk about everything. That's included in this journey. Motherhood and so that you know you are not alone but also recognize all the moments of joy and goodness that comes with being a up. Yup The sweetness and that's what the show is welcome to this sugar. The sugar is out. Now listen on stitcher apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts high listeners we wanna tell you about a podcast. Called Christopher Kimble's milk street radio it goes anywhere and everywhere to discover great stories about food. You'll hear about the secret history of peanut butter the hottest Chili pepper in the world. How computers are designing chocolate chip cookies and a day in the life of zoo chef. There's a great episode that goes behind the scenes of the great British bake off another were. Jose Andres shares his best stories. Milk Street radio is hosted by Christopher Kimball with a rotating cast of contributors including Sara Moulton Adam Gopnik from New Yorker Dan Passion from the sport full and Alex French cooking from Youtube. Take a listen at one. Seven seven milk street dot com slash radio or just search your podcast APP. Four Milk Street radio. Welcome back to kind world. I'm yes-men Amer and I'm Andrea a swat. So yes I mean. I'm really glad that we got to highlight education in our first story of this episode because right now teachers like my mom administrators and educators across the country around. The world are showing us all how remarkable they are. They're continuing to teach our kids through the pandemic. Anyway they can and it just goes to show you know they're superheroes. I still carry around some wonderful memories from school and my teachers especially the ones who really helped me get adjusted. When I first arrived in this country I mean having the right mentor can change your entire path in life and in the case of a Boston. Man named Elliot's Pereira. It was the right caseworker. Mccabe McCreary Elliot's and Makeba told their story to. Wb You our reporter carry young. I wanted to be somebody I just shows it the wrong way got involved with not gangs but you know it was like being in the neighborhoods. You had approved yourself was like two different gangs at the same time. My mother lived in the projects. I lived on a side street. My parents were struggling addicts. Struggle jobs slow beauce at home. You know so. It was troubled at home. The reality is certainly like where I have grown up in the city. A lot of My friends either ended up in prison or dead or you know the HIV or all of these strung out At the point when I was a caseworker. Elliot's was on my caseload. And our jobs. We picked them up from home. Drove them to school and then drove back home and so we really with them for the length of that day and then often saw them like weekends at nights she she used to drag me out of bed. Sometimes these buses used to come get me right. There was small buses signs an apt up on the top. I think he used to make us put them okay. But we'll have him bump them using put on music on like to like to make us feel good for the ride and stuff but I mean she just like brought me into her world met her parents like she she was big sister and a mother on. T. Everything at the same time and I always will remember that listening to talk about those times. Made me remember viscerally. I can feel how find the line was always between building. Trust with kids who had absolutely no reason no reason to trust you More evidence that the world was not going to take care of them and sort of thinking. Yeah how far do you push that line? You know in terms of relationship and how much they deserve. They deserve it on steroids to be in a space where they're safe and where the adult that is there can meet all their needs. But frankly you can't. She always gave me my respect. I gave her like the other staff. That was there and you had a least has some type of trust and respect because they see that there was trying to nurture me and give me that that type of trust a show like this is different. You could do this and now I can give that back work. I'm doing right now. Being a case like a case manager like I. I didn't think I can do this job when I first started. But then when I started in the acting the students like they just like me. I love this kid. He's the he's still has a part of my heart that is a really strong good reminder that it's important to take care of each other in this world it's important to spaces where even just from moment. Somebody has a sense of safety. That was McCabe McCreary and Elliot's Para Elliot's now works at College Bound Dorchester a nonprofit in Boston that encourages current and former gang members to go back to school and Makeba is the chief of learning and community. Engagement at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston story was produced by. Wbu Ours Kerry young. Hey thanks for listening to kind world this week. Be Sure to follow us on instagram. For more of our episodes plus a behind the scenes. Look at how we make our show were at WBZ. You are kind. World kind. World is a production of W. B. R. Boston's NPR station. Paul Vikings and Matt Read Duar Sound Design. Sophie Eisenberg is our. Wb You our fellow. Catherine brewer is our managing producer and editor and Iris. Adler is our executive producer. I'm reporter and producer Andrea a spy and IM reporter producer. Espn our look out for our weekly moment of kindness and your podcast feed on Fridays. We're still taking submissions. So if you've got a story for US call and leave US voicemails or at six one seven three five three six three five zero six one seven three five three six three five zero. We'll be back with a full episode of kind world on Tuesday. Thanks again for listening. We'll see you next time. Wr and read it. Endless thread is back with a new special series about a real conspiracy involving LSD doctor in Montreal and the CIA people have a hard time grasping the reality of this madness. They saw him confessing and they thought somebody else is controlling. This guy's mind a story in five parts about the secret mission for mind control and the people who paid the price light deprivation treatment a listener generic drugs came home was shadow shell of a man on everyone to know that. I through hell subscribe to endless spread on apple podcasts. Or wherever you listen.

Boston US Mccabe McCreary Elliot Amer Andrea reporter producer Clarisa McEwen NPR Vanessa Clark Clarisa Andreas Carla Wvu Lacey Township School district Espn Lacey Township Tika sumpter KBB Grad School
Adam Ray - Lin Manuel Miranda Rights

Dumb People Town

49:19 min | 5 months ago

Adam Ray - Lin Manuel Miranda Rights

"Starving advocate. Thank you for listening to the Star Burns Audio podcast network, we have so many great comedy shows to add to your playlist just last week on starbucks audio. On inside the closet, Emma Willman and Matteo laid. Welcome back, trying to win tour to talk about White Fragility, tearing, Down Racist Statues and proper protests etiquette on y'all ever Dave Ross and Hampton don't read an email from a listener who zoom meeting was crashed by Nazis on small doses Amanda Seals talks to actress. Tika sumpter about her new lifestyle brands, Sugar Berry, a community dedicated to black motherhood. Search stubborn audio and apple podcasts, spotify or any podcast platform for a full list of our shows, featuring hosts like calc main dose as loan and Gilbert. Godfrey, don't forget to follow us on Instagram and twitter at starbucks audio. Enjoy the show and remember stay safe. Stay healthy and keep laughing. Starving. Brandon Jay was there. They lacked. Breaking down at the, Floor. Fight. To stay. With co-host. and. People Hate out slugged another episode of Dumb People. Adam Ray like a ray of sunshine comes on this show. How you doing buddy? I'm good man, you know what ray raise sunshine China's better than what? I've gotten over the years. I've gotten sugary YEP. which hey aim at about it now you're probably wondering was at pre or post McGrath. It was post post. Office was. Established had a stroke right. There was established and and so was people were just like. How cool is it if we start calling you one of the most iconic at the time? We thought they were gonNA be icon bands. Leroy quick. You're so wrong about that and we were going. Real. We were real. Quick Sugar Ray Story which should be the name of a new podcast? We all started. Working they could be the title of their Autobiography Real Quick Sugar Ray Story. Okay. Oh, my God wait now. Is it just a stories from fans, yeah? It's really just the story, or it's a really quick store. They formed randy sucked when they broke up so i. go see them live at bumper. Shoot Right, mazing Bega, the bonnaroo of of Seattle and And they're they're flying has just hit the scene and hey, we are loving it. Collectively, as a country will can't get enough of these guys, it's on every radio station, even country and rap. We shouldn't be doing this, but we can't stop. What's happening to our bodies when we hear the sweet melodic tunes of Mark McGrath so there playing all songs that aren't fly right and people start booing. Because, they're like dude, you know what we came for. It's like it's like the mcrib comes out and they're like. Have you tried our new Bacon? Chicken Nuggets night. Rib? What's on the what's on the menu current? Doing, it's probably six seven hundred people. He stops mid song and goes all right all right all right he goes. I thought we could play some new shit and everyone called me goes no. He goes on. Played The hit. The head, so everyone's like screaming and. He's like he's like we have other songs. Yeah, Yeah, he goes come on. Guys like Seattle you guys are supposed to be like with music and like give us a chance. He just goes fine bucket to three. Goes. Larry I think we were performing at that bumper shoot because I remember that story, but not told as well as you. said they got a ton of stuff, but we were at. That was like around two thousand. Okay, yeah, is it was and we were performing yet damned? Fun Times well. Let me ask you something because I feel like you you. You've got your finger on the pulse of in many ways and I love following you on instagram. We'll talk about that later, but Do you think the world's getting dumber? Do you think or do you think we're just seeing more the dumb behavior? I think we're seeing more of it. I think. I think the world's been I mean. Do I feel like I've get a pretty solid dose of dumb on a daily basis from not just live from social media, although once social media. You know took took on a life of its own I. think that's when we were just a lot more aware of leg. Oh Wow people! My brother-in-law is married. Yet wants to post. I want pussy I can smell from the bedroom not from the kitchen. Yeah! You're the father to my nieces now. Maybe deal. Put that for the world to see on on Facebook, example facebook yet, but I think it's given us a chance to I really. You know view View the stupid. It's on a on a larger scale but I mean you know I think I've I've seen so much of it through the years on a daily basis just from being in L. A., and and even up in Seattle, but yeah. I think it's. I think we're getting stupider. Two part answer because of the social media people. It's more of an opportunity to to put themselves out there surfing. Put in it and have stepped out. and. I think that there's a notion. I duNno, the is split this. And then we'll get into our first story of no one being exposed to other ideas outside of their own and it creating that cycle the Echo Shannon, there is a digital paper trail so to speak, we can see your stupidity on display in real time, yeah! My go ahead and. I was GONNA say album is is like it isn't just like everybody who says something dumb. It's how many people that they then find agree with that. It's like like you just got used to be able to break the dumb people off into your life like that one guy, but now that every one of those one guys or girls has a thousand people that you're right. Oh yeah they all feel like Oh. Then they have a literal like. Really Crooner Movement of people were like. Think. That's what's happening. Should've never found each other. We all these idiot Hansel and Gretel 's that have just seen the movie multiplicity, and they are just fucking doubling down and leaving dumb crumbs yet for. People to fuck in chomp on. Everyone's like do these days. Good Man I'm gonNA keep following my nose to gain Sam style the after the fucking idiot house. And hopefully there's a party and a drink that we can all have together. My Buddy mark there at our our friend, great comic, Great Dude! He told me he went through and cleaned out seven years of tweets. A couple of days ago. Wow, and he goes I didn't have that many that were. Bad He goes but. After he said these vander pump rule, girls got got canceled for I. Don't know the INS and outs of it were terrible. They were offline deserved to be. Can't I assume so they're? Show Vander pump rule. They call the cops on a black cast. Mate. I don't even call as a joke. No, no, they did it as a mean thing because they're like. Let's do this and film it and send it to cook. Pumped back. That's it basically it was like. I will let awful. Let's jump into this. This was sent him by La Assessing. I love this person. I know, he's so great. Returning Customer Yeah she returned. She sent stories in. She tweeden. Fighter name is Kate. She's bad ass and she's really fun. She actually post great things on twitter, so thank you. Yes, ready for the. Here's the headline Colorado. Man Delivers best line ever uttered by drug suspect I am going to start. I'm going to start this article by reading you that line because it's too good to carry. Don't marry that the headline Dan we you read us. Yes. Colorado man has the bell over best line uttered by a drug special K he'd better be. This is the quote. Quote. Of course I have cocaine up my nose. It's Aspen. That is I mean again. That's what they say when when the local news reporters like so your first time to Aspen and he just says that. You know like we didn't ask you that. You're answering questions. We did now. You're guilty when you answer questions that they don't ask you. What are you doing, sir? I didn't. No I asked you. Nobody, but I know did. Now, we know as you're not going I'm going home. Nascar you were going. God God didn't give you this many holes if you're not supposed to put stuff in. Asked you if I could just go ahead of you because I'm late for my flight, you know. I. Pulled you over. This is my car. Again yes. Questioning whether or not it's. Not, here. I can take a gun into that restaurant. No. We just asked was going, so read the court wartime of course. I have cocaine minos. It's Aspen. Point went and asked that they can make that. The official logo like the official slogan of Aspen Colorado. It's like in this day and age. It's not going to deter people from going people that know about Aspen are going, or they're already there and things like that are surprisingly unfortunately and. Are Definitely GonNa Probably Lauren young people that are like I. Cool like I was going to do coke in Bakersfield this weekend, but has been seems to be pretty open to it. I don't even know how I feel. I can't even sit here and tell you I think it's I think you're going to wait to do? Coke is think if people want to do. Coco hundred percent agree just do cocaine like I. don't care and nobody would care as long as it doesn't become a problem, and you're not hurting yourself in the long run. What else gopher? When you care the first time I ever saw cocaine and it. Actually it was probably the the Cadillac for wide never participate in Is it a Frat party in college and dude busted out of a bathroom? I'd never met. This guy must have the bathroom beeline right to me and goes. Dude I'll tell you I baked potatoes, mashed potatoes and I was like Nope I. Don't you're acting like this? Conversation is picking up yet like we started this. We never sister beginning. Yeah, and and I was like I. Go dude, what's up with that guy and my buddy, Tori? Ruben was like he's like he's coke out. Man I go. That's what coke does yeah I. Mean it's like one of the things I go. Down to talk. We gotta get to know each other right and he's like He's like yeah, get your real wiry, and like jittery I. mean he was probably at like. You know level level, yeah. I mean. It's a harmless potato conversations on. I'm okay with it, but I agree with. Yes, well, of course. Yeah, okay. What did this Guy Do? What did he do well that quote? They say here. That is what ready for this. A lawful Miller Ford the fourth a lawful let Miller Ford the Finney works out for one of my favorite things and W will. Allow for. His name was allowed to lead Miller forward, and there's a million lines he hasn't. Thank you Lin Manuel I. Read him his Lin Manuel Miranda Rice A. Miller Ford the fourth of four. That just says generational wealth. like that is your full that is you are a disappointment to two and three. One didn't know you right so. You want to know you to carried on what one did. Three was starting to be a disappointment to to, and you aren't even uttered in a sentence that is what life let Miller Ford, the fourth declared editor worth. Yes, he's sees along comes from a long line of life led Miller's. Alive let a life alert or life eleven. Felice fallen, and he will never get up. Yet. He declared the. Chambal ripped off life alert, yeah! They did yes. He declared that after cops confronted him early, Monday as he allegedly prepared to snort a line of cocaine while sitting on a public bench in the Colorado, Ski Meka's downtown, area. Yep He's O- on the powder and in the powder, says he did. He did what your friend at that party failed to do. which is to do it in private? I would think a guy like a life. Let Miller the Fort Miller for the fourth have a place to do his cocaine. Yeah it's a life. Let doesn't sound like a cocaine rookie. Sounds like a guy who's been around the block and probably too many times, so he ended up on the bench and was like I'm tired Yep how do I get my energy back up? I WanNa be the life of the Party like his dad gave him lose his dad. Definitely, 'cause like chill out Brian. Out To know one in particular people complain about the lines in Aspen I don't. According to you, think life. Let the fourth is the. The the shittiest of the life lead Oh. Yes, I said for sure sure. Do you think that the GRANDPA the grandma life? Let's like I was a war veteran. Your your father was a book in Scott. Coach for four different softball league. And Badge, doing cocaine and ask. Oh, how the mighty life! According to arrest affidavit to patrol officers approached a life lot. Miller Ford the fourth and Laurel. Titus was laurel tight. I don't know who to me. The tightest is what you get in your balls when you do too much cocaine. Well it can't. You can't have an erection anymore. He's got low when he pees. smoke comes out it's. Titus well. They approach to life and Laurel Titus around to ten. AM after hearing quote, this is from the cops. What sounded like a plastic card striking the stone surface of the bench. The cops know the coke sound. Yeah. Yes. Yes, that's A. that's a line chopper. That is a line shop, and by the way you are chopping so loud. If cops walking biking here that right right, yeah, also. Do you think the cops get trained to know what Coke Chops? Then maybe you hear like that either coach There's someone's about to do a couple of bumps. There's an impromptu game a spoons getting ready to. all right. Let's go over there, Gary. Either way we're in Aspen either way. I know what we're doing tonight coach. For the fourth told the COPS that the duo was quote just hanging out smoking a cigarette. But officer Andrew Acas and noticed that Ford the fourth was crumpling a rolled up ten dollar bill and his hands, and that there appeared to be a line of cocaine on the bench. It's hard to say you aren't doing coke. When the COP concede the coke in front of you can't deny that there was also to credit cards on the bench, not far from the powdery substance like dude right there. He's like placing it like it's an ansel Adams photo. On the bench or is it on like a pig dared? Lines off a bench. I mean that's not that safe. No, but it's out. Darrell strawberry did so much Joe Strawberry Diet. Off The bench I felt. that. Dude so at some point. Darrell Strawberry and Bob Barker I just GONNA escape to an island and be like everyone thinks would. Right. What do you WanNa? Do let's find God played as much coke off benches as we can. When asked about the substance Ford. The fourth reportedly swiped the powder off the bench with his right hand, which means he did leave it there. No until they asked him is like this nothing what? S When you when you're a fourth when you're something the fourth you get rid of some cookie when your Sunday in the fourth. You've swiped away a lot of coke in your life after. Ford the fourth officer Acas in pointed his flashlight up. The suspects knows where he spotted white cake substance. After Atkinson, that's the officer declared that he believed the substance to be cocaine Ford the forth replied of course I have cocaine up my nose. It's Aspen. There you go. Officers quickly recovered a folded piece of paper containing cocaine that Ford had clinched in his hand. He did not want to let go of any. When asked if Ford was using cocaine Laurel Titus? Who is not busted, told officer Atkinson. He may have had some both. Side is she's just dropping him under the bus, Zidane she do. We know it's a? Tightest sounds like a although Laurel and hardy I know that's what I'm saying. Yeah, it sounds like an old timey like Lacrosse, player or Yeah, some weird like champion eighties. is is of course I'm doing coke I'm in Aspen like it like what's the like? If every city had like is that? Of course, I said the you know my pet alligators, some leftover baby. It's Florida. Yeah of course doing math, it's El Paso Iran. Had Her. All this is. Of course of course. Of course I fucked my step, MOM's friend Patty it's Phoenix. was nearby could drive to it. Of course I can have one more drink Chicago art. Ford charged with narcotics, possession and resisting arrest was booked into the Pitkin County jail from which he was later released on a twenty five hundred dollars personal recognizance bond coke cost more than that. Yeah, I, ask you guys. How old we will get out of story one on this. How old is Elephant Miller Life Ford the fourth okay? How old is he? It's the elephant in the room. Aspen fourth-generation very self assured about his cocaine. And trying to hide cocaine cocaine cocaine confidence is real yup. Laurel Titus. Maybe that should help you give you. Any sort name probably drove away in a delorean right. So how old do you think this guy is? You can go honestly feel like he's early twenty twenty, so give give a specific age because we're going right three twenty three M J in honor of the last. Twenty three year old, young, like young, young young confidence. I'M GONNA say. A defiance I'm GonNa say he's twenty one twenty one years old from Jason Scar. I think he's twenty six twins notes no job. You know prospect. That's right just all trust fund trust a ferry, and if you will I love that, none of you think. Somebody named Ella flaunt in. Laurel is just too old. People doing coke eyelid. Love it if they were. In their eighties did. Go let him have. Should high five. Yeah, cats are like. Please just finish up elephant. Elephant you have now called him twelve different. You see this name. It's all left Flint. You sure malefic. Office in a life lint, miserable descendants part three E. EMF the fourth. Is! Thirty four years. was over the hill. That circle gets the square almost. I'll take. It's not too old to be doing. That right there. You go first story down in the books. Is with us. We're talking about his amazing instagram. Crushing on this after the break, it's dump. People don't go anywhere. Around. On people. Hey, guys rated Jason here and whether you're working from home or working on your fitness. You want what you're listening to be. What your listening to know. We don't want to catch glimpses in little bits of. Bits sometime. Bits of what your kids will listen to anyone else. Everyone needs a great pair of wireless ear buds, but before you go drop in one hundred bucks on a pair, you need to check out the wireless ear buds from Ray Con. They're amazing I got my rake county. 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Those are my hike ear buds, walking ear buds by B. Y., R. A. Y. CON DOT COM slash starrewards for fifteen percent off. He has welcome back to the show we want to mention Randy and I have a podcast. That's been kind of amazing and what's been happening with has been insane. with our daily podcast clobber country, the virus edition If you haven't checked it out, there's been some amazing stuff on it just. Just I told a story about how my daughter's tried to make signs for the black, lives matter movement, movement and put it up in Silverlake and they got ripped down they made more signs. Eight got ripped down a second time, and then this woman on nextdoor dot com went after my wife for defending them, and I got on next door and I like. Oh, you just fight with a comedian. You just bugged with a roast battler Iran. Ready to go down and I just destroyed, but we told that host our in our podcast, and it made its way to someone who spoke at the Eulogy of George Floyd a preacher in there any mentioned at the memorial and we have named. We got named. George Florid George Floyd Memorial in North Carolina and we have since become friends with that preacher. This is all happening unfolding Zada, credit now yeah. Dan said you should go up on stage with that every time I was like. For you guys man and Hey. Rent Way Way to raise kids the right way I mean it just it made. The signs were anti. It's not got you. We weren't specific recieving about what the truth is that he ran that Randy's kids are amazing kids and he has brought them up right and what? This daily podcast is brought to us, and it's definitely what we're seeing on your instagram page as well is that we're bringing this personal part of our lives into this thing and we put it out there. We have no idea who had it connects with what and who it inspires a black southern Baptist preacher in North Carolina name. Dr Reverend. Christopher Stackhouse. Who listens to our daily podcast. Unwind on. His Day. It's amazing and I must say this I. Feel like we have more in common with him. Then we do with Jewish. People who vote for trump because he supports Israel. You know what I mean like I feel. That's a real thing. This guy yet, but you know I feel more connected with this guy who's different religion. Different race lives across the country in the south. This is our guy. I think you've found your new demo by the your new. Open. Let's open it up, but it's just really cool and Dan's been doing his nightly show. The good night show which I listened to every morning. It's wake up instead of going directly to the news, which other thing I keep watching his Adam Ray. You post amazing videos that our heartfelt and truthful about the movement so funny hilarious! Polaris stuff! You're you're Robert? Downey junior is unfunny, believes unbelievable, and you have the face the sort of face morphing so that you look like him, what is that? But what I mean it's it's I started. I did a few movies of his for eighty are and. And it was just really like. You know even just auditioning for it. I was like all right. This guy's got a little bit of Dr Evil, but he's got his voice is his lips relate the front of his mouth, and he's a lot of. Shaky and he's like yeah. I listen double down and listen a lot of things. I to look. There's a lot of people in the world. I got a lot of towns. You let people there you talked to him. No Do i. read about them yet. I A blog. It's DOT COM RJ slowdown Robert Downey Junior. I can't go to veterans. There's there's only twenty four hours a day seven days a week three hundred five days in a year, but I think you know look at Robert F R J Dash Five on Vinho. Yes so stupid so. It's hilarious. He's out of touch too, and it's ridiculous. He's so out of touch. It's so interesting to hear him talk about stuff. That's going you as him talking about stuff that's going on today. I mean real quick like for me, too. It's like I. There's I wish I had more voice I could do that like withstand the only one I can do. where I could probably talk and I just did it on Jeremiah Watkins podcast I played Dr Phil for Fuck in almost an hour or shuttling fake episode. Clips it's hilarious. That might be only one can just literally talk in circles because and it's not like I know have seen so many episodes. You know what he embodies, but like he just seems so ridiculous to me like a caricature of a person. Yeah, to where you're trying to give advice by the way, and and like, and you're always I just know that he always cuts to commercial either like when he was like look Karen. You are five hundred and twenty nine pounds, and only four foot eight that is too big to get into the elevator or an above ground pool. What you need to do, stop dipping baked beans into burritos wrapping cool whip sandwiches around the top and putting hot fudge on top fat bitch. We'll be right back. Cuts away before she can even defender. Right. Before. The sweeps babies sweeps week. Real thanks so much so good. Great Little Fig again, so you are Adam Ray comedy Adam. It is so good and and again you posted about your up up there. That is just fantastic resonates many people so I'm just you know what and your podcast, too? So tell me he asked about last night. SANDS DWARF NOW, but we're still rocking and rolling and. An a cartoon the drops tomorrow on. Hulu called crossing swords from the robot chicken. People awesome a It's a filthy medieval. Time show. It's all claymation. It's myself, Seth Green Tony Hale mcclendon. Covey Brown Adam pally Brechin Meyer. SONAM check that out. SEASON, one drop June twelfth on Hulu. Yeah cannot wait to check that out of so proud of you and Saif you animated thing that you can do. Let's into another story show. Okay a van. A van owner took over a crooks facebook account after he found his phone in his vehicle. The headline here is worth burglar on Earth, leaves his ID and phone in Van. It was sent in by Liz Haggerty at Liz haggerty. Love live this so van over to a van owner took over a crooks facebook account after he founded the person's phone in his vehicle and branded him a now. This comes from the Sun. or in the UK branded him A. it doesn't say T- Blank Blank T. What would be the English toot? Would they want lurid. A Fun Game It's a fun game you get. Landed him what Nathan Burns is accused to bid excellent trying to steal the van, but was chased off, he had his facebook and then had, and then Nathan had his facebook account taken over by the man who's Van. He allegedly tried to steal okay. Jason had his car's broken into. Yeah, we have. Both. The deal all. All you WANNA do is driveway burglars out their own? So they stole all my stuff including like my kids golf clubs, it's like. Did they? Take your heave? I took all my CD's latex. To. Did they take your cracked rear view? Houdini Bro. I had it on Cape and we took adage well, they took. They took my third eye blind stuff. In a little holder on one. Definitely had that definitely added stolen, it was definitely A. Spoke to seeing once. You gave me step outside. Friends birth weight. They took your kids golf clubs talked on. The Mike you discuss like. Don't you want to find out who this is taking? Way Was it was it Brad Williams. No, it was not the because. Brad knows I give him. The. Golf shoes campy him. You know what I got so jacked today. All right I got offered literal like white van merchandise. Why yeah hotline on my street this guy? He him and his buddy were driving up and then he was like. Hey, hey, he goes. Hey, this is gonNA sound crazy We got extra audio visual stuff and my boss just said that I could sell it and I was like. Oh, he's like I didn't lose it or anything like that. And he had like a bill of sale that of course I didn't really look at no. You want it and I was like yeah, but then I quickly he do I want to buy it. And it was like legit audiovisual four cave shoot projector like all the sound equipment all in the box, all still everything and I still out there, and I was like I was like Oh dude no. I can't I'm like leaving town I. Can he don't tell him? You're leaving town Dan. Come on. Home alone? Never let them know you're leaving. You should. You should have said. Let me take. Let me take a closer. Look at it, and you grab it and then run. No first of all literally was a white Van I'm like guys is a little, too on the nose. Also so I was like no, I can't. Do you really don't like? This is like seven grand stuff. Go. Yeah, no, I know this looks amazing I. Just can't. He's like. I just want like seven, hundred four and I go yeah I feel yeah I just. I wish he's like this is what you have to know about. Dan Adam. He's so nice to people. He's never going to be until I don't have to be. Thieves that's ready when it's when it now I know, but still so then he's like really like he's like he's like. I'm just trying to make any money I go. Yeah, Dude I. Get you I literally. Everything is going on today I can't even I just don't have time to buy. If I knew somebody around here I would tell them to come back I. mean this is a great deal like. Two hundred bucks and I go. Oh, my Kanako I I. I literally can't do. I have so many I literally. Don't have time to do mazing negotiation. Dan Dan's I. Don't have time negotiating technique. It's how it's literally how he got his. Hyundai Santa Fe for twenty seven dollars. I've never had the white van merchandise offer. It's pretty amazing and I don't know it didn't look stolen I. Don't I don't I? Don't even care. It was stolen. Sure I'm saying. Who made the White Van popular like? When did that become the GO-TO? AUTOMO- really was a white. Will you never see white vans like advertised and you never see like a commercial for a? True. Now Hey guys. The two thousand baby pigeons, the two thousand, two thousand nineteen white. Aerostar is out. Check it out. How did you find out I? Just I don't know I there no commercial, but I just know that it's looking for a new ride. Pack your friends into drive to fucking Scottsdale to see Toni Braxton live. You don't give a shit about seatbelts away. That could be. No seatbelt none none that driven. We went up to my cabin. Ones from my hometown in the back of like a cargo work van. We had lawn chairs in the back I, I ever wanted to know what it's like to drive two thousand miles sitting on a milk crate. Okay man, so back members that scene at home alone when John Candy and Catherine O'Hara, yes a buck in an Improv stuff. What happened and that's moving again. I can't even remember Yeah, this guy goes out. Somebody's trying to break into his van or broken. Then the burglar Runaway League. His owner says the his idea and mobile were left behind great okay. Always take your ID to a burglary. The owner of the van is like so the guy left is on our phone. And he left his I. D dummy. The dude also did not lock his phone right person with the van got into his facebook page started updating and he's. He changed his job. Status to I. Don't know this word. Is it just dose dos? Dahshur dos also yeah and posted this question as his status for the guy who tried to steal van. Am I a crackhead? Yes, do I. Leave my phone and People's vans. I'm trying to Jack Yes. Yes I did what a here's the new game M. O. G.. R. M. Blank Blank G. M. blank blank. What is? Move might be the right S. that's what I thought twice got bored. What they edited out here so I don't know already so now. Who are screaming. Right now I be because they know something I. Don't and I bet there's a lot of things I know. There's palm pilot. Don't even know what a Jag office ORG. Big M blank blank. Your dog. Smog okay anyway. So then the owner, the owner of the van Goghs on. Page will show it to you Adam and he creates dumb and dumber two and takes the guy who tried to steal van and superimposes dumb and dumber. To superimposes, the would be robber onto the poster with Jim Carey and then makes that his facebook This is so great, I, know this is a great show roast. The hell show out of crude rose. It's like if somebody tried to steal from you. And then you had access to all of their personal information. Like Oh my God lucky. He just did this to a normal personality colic. So that's the guy who. Tried to steal the van the shirt off. Guys guys event. From his page has so many shirtless picks by the way on his facial injury did. By the way the thing that I already hate about this guy shirt off jeans. I mean if it's that hot. If you're in a bathing, suit of your shirt off, okay, so you're your jeans. Jeans is just a kid. My High School, these to wear overalls with no shirt YEP Schumann I still give them a hard time about that life. He's like what it was. A cool look I, got chicks. You don't work and didn't work on a farm. You. Didn't get style back then. It was like you don't get now. Ever all right? Jesus Christ Burns of Manchester who has a string of theft conviction conviction Suri flee accessed his own account. He wrote who the fuck got my phone. It's on when I find you, but the van owner then changed the password to the account. Saying just let you know. I'm here again so now. He's locked out of his own. He's active out of this. Bates on when I find you. Followers lacked up as fat and one mocked Burns's pick on the dumb and dumber film poster, another called him the shittiest burglar on Earth, when contacted by the Sun Burns his mom. So now the would be robbers. MOM has waded into now in. Your son is up to. She claimed he said his phone was stolen. I assume that's when she hung up the phone, but that's all she had to say. He said his phone was the one. I know. He Elsa said that he had a job. After one facebook said he was a shady burglar. Earth another urged others to follow the spot or the spat. I'm sorry, so then just devolves into other people like chiming in on I. There's nothing worse than people chiming in on facebook. Just for fun, we'll close it out like this. Just thought that was perfect. And Great Instant Karma. How do you guys think Nathan Barnes? You saw a picture of him so sure without his shirt, the burglar? How do you think he is? Nathan Barnes Yeah. Man. I mean he's got he resembles. He He resembles my my brother-in-law, dirty rapper a little bit. Yeah, and he's in his late thirties. Late Thirties for this guy. Man but it also. Stealing a van seems like a very late twenties crime. Okay, because you're just like San, have that midlife crisis thirty I don't have a car. You know. I'm on facebook too much I'd got to get some shirts. Steeler fan because I want a family someday. WanNa family I got. I got these all these leftover couches. That I got I need a car to put. All them from here and there I agree. I just wanted one hundred dollars one hundred dollars. That's on it I'M GONNA? Say this electric equipment. Just don't have time for the felt, so he's like the food. Tom Business didn't pan out the way I wanted to do. But you know. read it turned out to be A. Buck in sex traffic, I think he's selling a courtesy I'm selling. To people on the benches. TOOK GONNA. Go ahead, I! Think he's thirty, eight, thirty, eight I think he's forty six. Okay, God, I just think he yeah forty six before we go to story number three. Play along Tani's wherever you are because Nathan. The man who needs white van to get his business going and always knows that there's a club we can go to where we won't have to wait in line. Is. Thirty four years old Ray. Here award there. My should have gone with ray out. Yeah, that's that's. He seems during the pocket. On it what are we? Can you tease us what we're going to get in the third segment? We have an obituary, but it is beautiful I. Love Hilarious I love. It Adam Ray is with us about last night. Is The podcast Adam rate comedy is the instagram on twitter as well right? Yeah, mostly great, great seven. It's Graham We have one more stories. Dump. People don't go to. Stick around. Down more on. Hello Friends Ville common beyond the new welcome. My name is Gabe Gibbs, and I'm the humble host of your new favorite podcast called musicals that never made it. This podcast is an exhibition of a bunch of wonderful up and coming musicals that have yet to come. You. See My writing partner Josh Collier and I have been writing topnotch musicals for decades. Our ideas come quickly like lightning, and we must obey are genius, so we don't over think we don't take feedback and we don't do any rewrites. Why would we do you think that Stephen? SONDHEIM takes notes. Don't make me laugh. So each episode, we have a new Broadway bigwig. Come in and sing our sweet music for your listening ears. The shows are incredible. The guests are fantastic, and the host is handsome as can be. I know it's a podcast, but. You can tell so be sure to listen and subscribe to musicals that never made it wherever you get your podcasts and help us get one step closer to the Tony Awards. We so clearly deserve. THESE CZAR! Partner. Adamant me tape our podcast. Nobody listens to Paula. Poundstone in a little studio where we can only fit one instrument for a house band, although we once fit in a Yak Yak. It's a comedy advice. Show experts talk about things we all need to know. We had a mortician explain a better way to die. Urban Chicken farmer told us how to raise poultry. Poultry in your backyard I casting agent coach May on how to get the RAW. A constitutional expert explained the bill of Rights. Maybe we can get the White House to listen to that episode. Also an astronaut told us how to astronaut. We have hand puppets for trump and vocabulary words like new Tory. Find out what nugatory means listen to. Nobody listens to Paula poundstone. Hey, guys, welcome back to dump people town, Daniel take a somber. However, we other specific by Linda Hartman at L. K. H., t. m. n. Linda Harvey Hartman, thank you. Ready this is an obe it but Adam I love all the positive stuff that you post and I know that we do to here. So this is just an obituary for a man named Randall Jacobs from Phoenix Yup and it is just gorgeous point. We hit a point where you're like. Hold on and we WANNA talk about it. Feel free now. We've talked this before on this show. PHOENIX, but we had just infamous we had Amy Miller on. One okay ready from Phoenix, yeah Randall Jacobs of Phoenix died at age of sixty five, having lived a life that would've sent a lesser man to his grave decades earlier decades and watched. Saying when he was twenty five sure because decades is more than one decade. We should let you guys don't read into it, but look at the photo and you're gonNA. Be like he lived. May I think of decades he looks. Like. Three or four, he looks like Roy Scheider like. Like even partied hearty harder than Roy. He looks like the. Remember the bitter beer face guy. Yes, so that guys like an old baseball clown. Guy Who performs minor league parks almost like a human mask, bitter beer beer beer. Lou Holtz impressions at like Barbecue. Curt. Stop. All his when he died is can was used as a suit kissed his friends. CALL HIM RJ, but to his family. He was uncle bunk. Monkey Aka the bunk stor. He told his last joke which cannot be printed here on May? Four have of course dirty joke of course monkey burned the candle, and whatever else was handy at both ends he spoke to put. wisecracks, mangled metaphors, and inspired profanity that reflected the Arizona. Dive bars. Colorado ski slopes. Of course it's cocaine and various dodgy establishments. Where he spent his days and nights, so he was drunk a lot. That is transient got fuck. This guy got fucked up. Told really filthy jokes to killingly raking jokes to kids tickets. Were like it's bumpy when you get a fun nickname as an old guy, you get a lot of free passes. Leeway collects. He gave a four year old and knife for his birthday. He names. Fashion it out of soap uncle. He was a living breathing. Hang loose sign, a swaggering hybrid of Zony So cal Hobo and telluride ski bomb. Last. Prolific Purveyor of Monkey Ism such as save it, clown or Zebo. If he was in a mood, he would murdy lowly Tibo. Tease his boombats. Nickname such as mud, flap and style master just. Style master can I borrow your xbox? Daddy tabuchi boots a Muslim givi seventeen bucks. Mud Flap I'll tell you what it's for. If I come back. I. Just days after his beloved cat kidder's passed away, he too succumbed to the Great Grotto leaving behind a vapor trail of memories, and a piece of sage, sage, advice, lingering and loved ones ears, who wrote this hunter S. Thompson crazy. Do what Bungee say not what bond gave do which to me? That's a guy with a lot of regrets. By the way this is what punky brewster should have been. Balking. punky brewster punky and Banke would have been a better show hunky. Dory. funky peruse. Sir Is the story of of your old Hobo. Moon fry on Venus. WHO MOVES IN WITH A kid? had. Thirty jokes all day. O. Funky Funky pro-style Banga. Preuss I also just realized that this. Cut off the very bottom of thing. Yeah! Okay, so so we'll talk as you sturdy. I'M GONNA. Find It. I was at I went to, and we've talked about this a lot. Everybody who's about to play the drinking game that our friend Derek has made start drinking right now. I went to burning man cheese, which I think I told you about, but I went to Bernie for two years the last year I went last year. We were I was running. The is Karaoke tent with our friend, EVA and believable. This drunk guy from who who looked exactly like uncle monkey. Gene stumbled into the thing and there was a line in there. Are you know we talked about it and? People were mad that we weren't putting their songs far enough up in just doing our friends. And this drunk guy came in, and we were like all right everyone. Move Away. We are now going to just talk to this guy over microphones that can be broadcast that this guy was literally waiting for something racist to come out. He was so uncle bunk. He I can't even begin to tell you saw even though I never met uncle, Bungee I feel like gene showed me Huangpu Monkey well. We got more for all his chaotic energy and hysterical. Hysterical charm, he had a gentle soul. A night out with bunk could result in a court summons or a world class hangover, but his friends and family would drop whatever they were doing to make a trip out to see him. His impish smile and irreverent sense of humor were enough to quell whatever sensibilities he offended. He didn't mean any harm that was just bunk. Bunk Kyats always when the end drew near, he left us with his final bunk. For the dirt nap, but you can't leave the party. If you can't nap, he says. I'm ready for the dirt nap, but you can't leave the party if you can't find the door. He found the door, but the party will never be the same without him. In lieu of flowers, please pay someone's open bar TAB smokable and fearlessly carve out some fresh lines through the trees of the gnarliest side of the mountain. As he was dying, he said. I think I'm trans and then just. Great. Ever sad because he. Got He didn't sort it out in his life, but got it up before. Beautiful! Not Too far from what I'm going to ask people to do. at mine which yeah same thing smokable. Davidge shod paige tap open a door for somebody. That's right. That's right. And Laugh Dude, you make you make Sony people laugh. I'm so happy. You are a part of this. Thank you for doing this into all of our fans who want another honor man I love the show. You're the past one another guys caution to listen to please check out about last night and then follow Adam Murphy comedy on Instagram. You will not be sorry that you did. We love you, Buddy. Thanks for doing the show and Shit. We get back to work. Dum! Dum. Dum. Dum! Dum! Dum. Go. Around. Now. Starving. PODCAST network.

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How to Break up with Mom

Unladylike

45:55 min | 8 months ago

How to Break up with Mom

"Why can't I just let this stuff go? Why can't I just let my mother's mean comments just kind roll away and not internalize them? You know and I really tried for a long time to do that. But probably because of my own mental health issues I was not able to do that so in the ideal world where everyone's like one hundred percent mentally healthy and strong and tough maybe we wouldn't have estrangement but that's not the real world on ninety mighty. Hey y'all and welcome to unladylike where we find out what happens when women break the rules and decide to not. Just let this stuff go. I'm Kristen I'm caroline. And that was Harriet Brown describing type of break-up that you're not supposed to talk about or even really consider and you're definitely not supposed to tell the whole world about it like Harry. It did in her book shadow daughter a memoir of estrangement. I actually did not want to write this book. I distinctly did not want to write it and I didn't wanNA write it for a long time and then at some point I felt like I have to write it because this is something that we don't talk about. You know really the impetus for writing. The book was so other people didn't feel alone with their horrible estrangement stories. So they knew. Like hey doesn't make you a freak and it doesn't make you a evil person and it doesn't mean that you're incapable of love. It means you reacted in this way. In this situation for reasons that are probably good ones for you and caroline might also mean that you're Meghan markle and your father actively gossips about you in the press like so it's fairly common to hear about celebs parting ways with their parents. Various degrees like you know beyond say firing her data sir manager. I mean young. Carrie Fisher had such a fraught relationship with her mother that it became the movie postcards from the edge and recommend that movie highly enough honestly though parental estrangement is a stars. They're just like US situation. Because it happens to please. Us regulars to accept. It's even more taboo sophis- episode Harry. It's breaking the silence on mother daughter breakup and what ultimately led her to call it quits herself and later. We'll hear from Jackie G-go she's a new mom who worries about replicating. The mother daughter relationship. She grew up with and recently ended. It was such a scary word for me for so long because I think it was like if I say this. I Mr Acknowledging that terrible has gone down but like everyone that I've talked to you and it like varies sometimes. It is like some something bad has happened but like for a lot of people. It's kind of like a relief like it's something that makes them able to be who they are and like function and not be like a total mess. Get ready because it's all to find out what happens when daughters break up with their MOMS so kristen when I was prepping for this episode. Two big things surprised me okay. What's that okay? Thing number one breaking up with a parent is actually pretty common. Like the stats aren't airtight. But at least in the US and the UK an estimated ten to twenty percent of folks experience some kind of family estrangement and thing too well because of how common it is. I was expecting there to be a ton of research on. Who What where? When why it happens you know like cutting ties with your parents especially your mom is so ripe for research at touches on psychology mental health trauma but practically no one has studied it partly because it just goes so unspoken yet you know estrangement sounds like such a formal term but it's not a legal designation like emancipation but because it revolves around adult parent child relationships. It's kind of tough to track. You know because once we're grown ASS adults Technically these are voluntary relationships. Yeah and I mean one thing. Harriet although emphasizes is how estrangement encompasses a whole spectrum of situations geographical distance emotional distancing or completely calling it quits which is what focusing on today. Could you give us an example of sort of that line between just standard parent child conflict? That's GonNa Happen. And actual like boundary crossing problems that tend to lead to estrangement. Yeah that's a that's a good question I can speak to it from my experience but also having interviewed fifty or sixty other people who have been through estrangement. The stories are often very detail sometimes are different but the the basic pattern of the story is often the same and that is that there is some fundamental lack of ability to trust in the relationship. You know and whether that comes from way way back in the relationship or whether it's something that Sort of enters it. I mean most of the time. There's something that's really wrong. There's something that's really been wrong for a long time And so you know in a sort of non estranged quote ordinary family. Of course there's going to be conflicts and of course there's GonNa be problems but you have the ability to get past them because there is this fundamental trust and Sort of mutual understanding that you know we might disagree but I have your best interests in mind and I know you have mine in families that have estrangement that seems to be missing. There's not that sense of like unconditional love trust So often there's just this sense of like it's not just one thing that you did. It's everything that has gone into our relationship is it's the pattern of things you know It's this sense that you're always saying things that are meant to cut me down. You are always do violating my whatever privacy my boundaries whatever in very very often there's substance abuse or mental health issues involved Or alcoholism those have been features in a lot of the stories. I've heard too so what are some estrangement myths? That need busting in your mind. Ooh There are a lot of them. one of the most pervasive myths. Is this idea that kids today. They're spoiled. They get mad because mom and dad didn't give them a Porsche for their high school graduation or they didn't like something that one parent did one day and so they walk off in a huff and it's a tragedy and everybody suffers In other words this idea that people walk away from their families in a very casual way and that is not just just not true what the research suggests and what my own experience suggests is that walking away from. Your family is so complicated. And it goes against so many social norms and a- prohibitions. That it really takes a lot to make people do that and so it might look like there's one incident that make people walk away but in fact there's always you know a lot a lot a lot of things that have happened and gone on over a long period of time. So that's one and then I guess the other big myth to my mind. Is this idea that family estrangement is always a bad thing that it's always something that we should be trying to fix for some people. Walking away from family is not just a good idea. It's a survival tactic. Obviously we have a lot of biological and cultural imperatives that keep us connected to families and there's good reasons for that right but sometimes it just isn't meant to work and sometimes to protect yourself you just gotta walk away. Yeah one thing that I was also curious about as I was reading about you and shadow daughter is our cultural idea of love. And that if you decide that you need to sever these kinds of close family bonds that the problem must be with you and that you are not loving them enough and that love must be the answer. Do you know what I mean. Isn't that part of our sort of hallmark. Disney you know idea of Love in this culture or at least the way we like to talk about it publicly right like love conquers. All BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER. Like fill in the blank. There's so many of those platitudes. Sometimes though I would argue that sometimes love is walking away. You know and that you can love someone in a lot of the People. I've talked to about this. Say I love my family but I can't you know. Be In contact with them. So yeah it all depends on what we mean by love. Does love mean being a doormat. Does love mean putting everyone else's interests before yours does love mean you know like in my case Every interaction I had with my family over a long period of many years would would make me feel literally sick anxious. Depressed you know. Get in bed and not be able to get out for a week kind of thing and at a certain point. You're like I know that I'm still connected to them and I have feelings about them but I can't really keep going through this. We have messed up ideas of loved. Only I also wonder why. Why do you think that culturally? We are way more comfortable acknowledging like divorce. Breakup Lake family dysfunction. Those things happen. So why is this though? Still so shrouded in silence. It seems like I think it's because it violates these extremely primal taboos that we have you know like the the sanctity of the family if you WANNA use that term like the the sort of family as the emotional and literal building block of our culture if that gets threatened that threatens a lot of things that are built on that. So there's these like strong biological imperatives to stay connected with your family And there's a lot of logistical and practical reasons to right so when there is an estrangement all kinds of stuff falls apart around it. Everything from how do you celebrate? Holidays and sort of you know landmarks. Both happy and sad. And then you know up to like who's going to take care of mom and dad when they're old and sick if you're a strange so there's all these sort of Cultural Functions that the family serves and estrangement breaks that. So there's that and then I also think there's this weight of public opinion. That's like if you're if you walk away from your family. What does that mean about me? And my family like there's this level on which it seems really really threatening to everyone else and I. I'm guessing that does come from that sort of those cultural and biological imperatives. You know that. That's that's the way that we are designed to keep these relationships intact even when they're really challenging is reconciliation ever the goal of estrangement. Why I think it's always the goal to some people right. I think it's there's a lot of good reasons for families to Forgive each other and be able to go forward and stay connected. It's just that it's not always possible but I think reconciliation is the assumption in our culture just like like family. Togetherness is the assumption. And Okay if you have some problems you need to work them out. It's like this cavalcade of platitudes. That comes out you when you're in that situation like why can't you just get along with your mother or you only have one mother. You're going to regret it. You know or how will you feel when she dies? Like there's all these interesting ways. That pressure is brought to bear like boy. If I had a nickel for every time someone said to me. Why can't you just get along with your mother? Like I'd be a frequent millionaire. I could run FOR PRESIDENT BUT ANYWAY. Please stop asking me to get along with. My mother is something Carolina I I would love to see sewn on a pillow at homegoods. Please and I'd have to hide that villa. Though from my mother we're going to take a quick break and when we come back here. It's one regret about breaking up with her mom plus why daughters bear the brunt of parental estrangement stick around. If you're looking for a fun way to pass the time while engaging your brain and enjoying breathtaking visuals and a gripping story your answer is best. Fiends best means is a casual game. Anyone can play in Caroline These days we could all use some games to pass the time. Yes Kristin. Last night I reached level. Seventy five I got in best teams. It is so fun and addictive and like just almost soothing in the best way like I've developed a strategy. Okay tell me my strategy is to actually pay attention to what I'm doing so that I can actually win the levels. Okay I am you know. I think that's that's a great strategy for life well so we're learning all sorts of things from best fiends. It's a great way to not panic. Scroll on twitter for just a little while. Engage your brain with fun puzzles and collect tons of cute characters. Trust me with over one hundred million downloads. This five star rated mobile puzzle game is is a must play download best fiends free on the apple APP store or Google play. That's friends without the our best fiends. Hey everybody I'm Tika sumpter and I'm an actress and most recently you can see me on. Abc's mixed ish. Hi this is Tai Randolph. And I'm the boss at Kevin. Hart laugh out loud network and we are the host of the sugar a suite space where we want you to indulge on topics we sometimes get left out of. It's a space by four about Brown. Mom this is a place of community where we want you to feel lots of love peace and laugh a lot. Like Morales. Pregnant woman was like. Oh when I had when I was in Labor. I was like I was having an orgasm. Girl go now go. Now somewhere bailing. Maybe NOT SPACER. Mama's like us to see ourselves ourselves get ready to open up tot laugh even cry with our sweet Shigamatzu. The sugar is out. Now listen on stitcher apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. I do remember somewhere in childhood becoming aware that like other people talk about their mothers in a way. That seemed very weird to me. Like this idea that you would go to your mother for comfort to seem bizarre to me which you know as I say that out loud sounds very telling and it is but Yeah there was this idea that like. Why would you ever go to your mother for comforting? We're back with Harry Brown. I don't ever remember feeling loved by my mother which is a you know as I say that I now want to add in a rush. That's a horrible thing to say about your mother. Which is you know. The social part of me like acknowledging that this goes against so many taboos but You know we never had a good relationship. I don't ever remember feeling like safe or loved or seen by her in some fundamental way. I never felt like she liked me like the person I was. I mean literally. I can't remember a time when I didn't feel it for Harriet. The way her mom treated her kept her in a constant state of cognitive dissonance. That uneasy feeling as if your brain can't quite process what's actually happening like. When someone's words don't match up with their actions. My mother would say constantly. I love you so much. Oh I just love you love you love you you know all I ever wanted was to love you. Like she was all about the love in her talking but I used to wonder like. Why don't I feel loved by her? Took me such a long time to be able to sort of step back enough to say. Oh it's because she did X. or Y. Like these things don't actually match up with what she's saying I think it's just because as a kid. You so hard to to think critically about your own parents I mean you know. I felt like I was so old before I was able to separate what people say from what they do. I think it's still something I struggle with. Honestly because you know I was just so used to hearing what my mother said and and sort of taking that as the Gospel and suppressing my own observations of what was actually happening. Not Trusting it. Harriet and her mom fought regularly. And it's not like she grew out of that dynamic as she got older like even an innocuous email or text from her mom could send Harriet. Spiraling and sometimes. The animosity was in-your-face obvious. In your book you write about the night before your grandmother's funeral. Can you walk us through? What Happened Yeah. So my grandmother Died when I was. I mean I was old. I was thirty I was a grown-up But she she was so much like a mother to me. You know and we didn't really see it coming even though she'd been sick so it was this kind of shocking thing. The family had gathered at my parents house in New Jersey the night before the funeral and people were sitting around telling stories and there was a lot of you know just warm feeling and along with the grieving and You know I noticed my mother kind of holding herself separate from it in in a way she was you know serving people food and everything and And then at one point I went down into the basement to look for some old pictures of my grandmother for this like board. We're GONNA make for the funeral and I just down. There was just like howling and crying just feeling terribly sad and my mother came downstairs and I thought for a minute like she was GonNa Comfort me and she's an and this is kind of an example of that cognitive dissonance so she sits down next to me. She puts her face really close to mine. And she says you know basically You don't have your grandmother here to hold your hand anymore now. You're going to have to deal with me. And she just says it like that and then she gets up and walks upstairs you know and then like and that's what you know that cognitive dissonance like wait. What just happened like she acted like she was comforting me. But that's not actually what she did and that's not actually what she said and I came to understand a little bit more that she was a very damaged person and I came to be able to feel some compassion for her as that damaged person but she had the capacity to be truly vicious so that was kind of a problem before cutting her mom off entirely Harry. It took a low contact approach. She's tried distancing herself only communicating via email for a few months and the tensions would ease she get hopeful and try to reconcile but once back in regular contact the relationship would implode and the cycle would start all over again their boundaries were just always in flux Christina sharp. The researcher calls it like a period of chaotic dissociation. Where you're kind of like flailing around and bouncing between like trying to make things work and then you know huffing off when things don't work and being upset and there's a lot of drama and there's a lot of chaos and then you. Kinda just hit this point where you're like. I can't I can live with this anymore. Estrangement usually involves a last straw moment. You know the the breaking point where you can't take anymore and decide to go no contact for good and to be clear. It's not an all of a sudden snap judgment yeah. The last straw generally happens after you've spent years trying to make the relationship work for Harriet. That moment arrived when she was fifty and had two daughters of her own. It came pretty late. You know after decades of this kind of back and forth But the situation was my older daughter had been very ill with Anorexia as a young teenager and then head sort of recovered but when she was eighteen she had a relapse. And that's that was the sort of situation that my husband and I were dealing with was very scary. It was very serious it. Was you know very distressing? Obviously and during this time my mother and I were not like in close contact. We weren't talking much but she started emailing me and sending me these emails. That said like remember. You have a family know. We're here to help you like lean on us for support like she clearly wanted to be involved in some way and I hadn't leaned on her in any way in decades so But you know as happened a lot in our relationship I thought well maybe this is the opportunity you know. Maybe this is the time that will be different maybe she. Won't you know like Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown? Maybe that won't happen this time. Maybe she really wants to help. And she's telling me that. And if I if I reject to that then then this is my fault you know so I should try so Harriet wrote her mom back and was like you know. I could use your help with something. She asked her mom put together a list of High Calorie recipes. Thinking you know if she does it great if not at least I tried. No big deal and literally Within half an hour I got an email back from her and was subject. Line was like some things I've been meaning to tell you that. Oh Yeah you never wanna open that email and the email basically said I've been holding onto these things I but I feel that it wouldn't be fair to you to not share with you. Exactly what I think which was so much mothers. Mo over the years And basically what she said was. Don't you think it's interesting that your daughter is sick? That she does not like her own body and yet you are a writer and you know you write and research about body image and wait. Don't you think it's interesting like don't you think there's a connection there? And then she kind of went on to say like no one else will say this to you because they're all afraid of you because you are a formidable woman my dear I remember that phrase very distinctly But you know I'm the only one who will tell you this because I love you but I think you should look at this like basically she was saying. This is your fault your fault. Your daughter is sick and you know you should take some ownership of this and I literally just heard this like cracking sound. I thought I was hallucinating. I mean I really thought I was losing my mind and it was like like a crack of thunder and it was just this moment and I I was like you know what there is. Nothing left in me at all. That wants anything to do with her. This is it. It was just like she had died and was dead and I felt nothing and that was the end. That was the end of our relationship. I wrote her back and said we're done and that was it. You know and people often said like well did you have any regrets and honestly my only regret is. I didn't do that like thirty years earlier. And Save us all so much grief in angst because nothing ever got better. Nothing changed and I just couldn't I just couldn't did anything. Surprise you about how you felt or your experience once you when no contact when she made that decision. I think I was surprised. By what a relief it was because I'd certainly gone for months in the past. Not Speaking to her. But it had never had that sense of permanence in finality. And you know. My Mother did die three years later but she was young when she died she was seventy six and there was no expectation that her life was coming to an end or anything so. I anticipate twenty four years of her being alive and us not being in touch but it was just like wow this is I wish I really wish I had done this so much earlier because it just it took like this massive level of drama just right out of my life. I don't have to feel anxious when the phone rings. I don't have to worry. I don't have to lose sleep. I don't have to you know have panic attacks for days at a time. I'm just I know that I'm I'm I felt like I was safe from her for the first time at and that made me realize how unsafe I had felt for my entire life even though on the surface. That was ridiculous right. I was like long. Been an adult. Have my own kids? You know she did nothing. There was nothing she could do to me but I still felt very threatened by her. So so yeah. It was a feeling of safety and relief. Harriet felt so safe in her decision. That when her mother died she didn't attend the funeral. She knew she'd catch hell from family members and she did but going would have been an act and Harriet had retired from that performance culturally. That is such a violation of the dutiful daughter. Role and the limited research. There is suggest that gender does seem to play some role in estrangement one of the most cited studies from two thousand fifteen found that more adult children were estranged from their mothers instead of their fathers and more parents said they were estranged from daughters than sons and just as inherits case when it comes to maternal estrangement it's more likely to be often on robbing cut and dry. Yeah I mean that pressure to stay connected to the family were born into is superintendents not to mention the expectation of maintaining tight mother daughter bond like only supposedly bad daughter would cut herself off from her mother. It's a very gendered issue right and so in my research. I was able to talk to a couple of guys who estranged from their families and they did not first of all they did not have anywhere near the level of angst about it as any of the women that I talked to or myself so I think as women. We are socialized to be the glue that holds families and other cultural groups together. We're supposed to be the fixers we're supposed to be the peacemakers also this sense of our identities as loving and forgiving and you know conciliatory. That's all so important in the way that we are raised to think of ourselves and that what culture expects from us so when you make the decision to strange from your family. You're violating all that. In addition to violating all of the sort of norms around family should be together so like the. The guys that I interviewed was much more. This era of like look. This is what happened and I just had to do it. You know. And that's just kinda how it is whereas I don't know a single woman who feels that way and I know For myself like in a decades long estrangement from my mother and therefore from other people in the family. I don't even know how many thousands of hours I spent like in self recrimination and self doubt and feeling like there was something deeply wrong with me because I couldn't maintain this relationship with my mother so I think it's a hugely gendered thing And I think that that's both You know that's that's cultural right. That's what we expect of ourselves and what everyone expects of US Caroline. I'd also say that like White American culture. Idealize is like Gilmore girls level closeness but for first generation daughters like our next guest. Jackie that kind of maternal intimacy can field especially foreign. And we'RE GONNA find out why after a quick break when I moved away from home and like didn't go back for the holidays or anything. I felt like I was terrible person because like I was. I was failing to meet these expectations. I wasn't being like a good daughter. We're back with Jackie. Syjuco a producer. Who WORKS AT OUR PODCAST network stitcher out in San Francisco and even though Jackie inherit come from very different families similar dynamics and dysfunctions led to their eventual estrangement. S- so growing up. My relationship with my parents was pretty difficult. We had a really hard time talking and like there were boundaries with my parents. I felt like it was really hard to say no to them with like what they expected from me. Jackie grew up in the south with her Filipino. Mom and Chinese Dad as well as a little brother so I was raised to be like very obedient. Quiet I was expected to take care of everyone in my family and also some of this is like being the kid of like. My parents emigrated here. So I'm a first generation immigrant. I think And so I was expected to kind of like not exactly translate but Ling handle some stuff that they didn't know how to do or like we're was just different for them so I like took on a lot of lake responsibility of running the household Atalig. Pretty Young Age Jackie's. Mom worked a lot so she often wasn't home for long stretches at a time her brother also has down syndrome and Jackie was expected to help parent not only him but also to some extent her dad. Who'd had a stroke and couldn't work. My Dad had kind of a really bad temper whenever he got mad at me. My mom wasn't around to a soothe me or like be there. I ended up having comfort myself a lot and like deal with my dad and like have these major fights with him. There wasn't really anyone I could talk to about it so it was kind of just like me and I had to like learn how to do that. And it turns out but that's hard I like still figuring out how to like regulate by motions now as a thirty year old. When Jackie was eighteen she left for college. She kept her visits home to a minimum and talk to her appearance on the phone every once in a while she sustained this low context situation for years which was harder than it probably sounds. Yeah like ever. Since I left home I felt like I've been a bad daughter and like I spent a long time thinking about whether that's true or not. I think some of it also like I. My parents a lot of expectation on me to be like a very specific kind of daughter and I think some of that has to do with the fact that so I'm Chinese and Filipino. And there's a lot of expectation of like family loyalty and like are always there to take care of your parents forever kind of thing and like I didn't know how else to be a an Asian Good Asian daughter or like a good daughter or a good person because the those were the things that they had taught me made me a good person and I think it wasn't until probably like my late twenties like I started feeling like this is not a bad person like I just have like a different. I need to have a different kind of relationship with my family three years ago. Jackie had her own last straw moment. Her Mom went to the Philippines for a few weeks leading her dad alone at home without a caregiver. Jackie found out when one of her parents neighbors. On the opposite. Coast from Jackie's home in California emailed her worried about her dad. Jackie was furious with her mom. We had like a fight about whether it was my responsibility to come home. Basically and I think I was like mad that like she expected me to go. Select drop everything and come home so I walked her number but then I felt guilty about it for a couple years and then I started going to therapy and when I explained what had happened she was like. Have you ever considered using the word estrangement? For what your relationship is with your parents and I hadn't and do you remember how that made you feel in that moment. Yes I think it felt right but it also felt really scary because I think in my head I was like estrangement is like a huge step that you take when you like totally cut off your family. It was a really dramatic thing. The way I'd been thinking about it So I was relieved. Terrified that she called it that first and then I felt more comfortable with it because we talked and we were talking with her about it and she was saying like it doesn't have to be permanent lake. You could be like estranged right now and maybe in a few years you decide. Maybe you do want to try getting contact again. But like it doesn't have to be a permanent thing that felt comfortable and and like good. It felt nice to be in control a little bit. Jackie went on to marry her college sweetheart and she really feels like part of his family but when she and her husband began talking about having kids of their own Jackie's estrangement loomed large. When I was a kid I was like I expected to have kids like I expected. I would become apparent but as I got older I got increasingly nervous. About what kind of parent I would be because like I had such a difficult relationship with my parents. I was a strange for them. And like I was terrified of becoming my parents and so for a really long time I simultaneously wanted to have kids but also didn't because I thought I would be a really bad parent. It wasn't until I was like probably like a year or two ago that I was like maybe I won't be a bad but only maybe because the whole pregnancy I was like what if I'm still like it was like a fear that was like topmost of my mind. The entire time so Jackie's dad died at the end of twenty nineteen and she considered not telling her mom about the pregnancy but she eventually decided to sort of split the difference and filler in over email so we emailed back and forth about it for a little bit. She wanted to come out for the birth and I did not want that. I ended up telling her I didn't want her to come out and I also was like I actually would also like to not be in contact right now and. I told her that I was like talking about therapist and that I wanted to like not. Yeah I just went. I didn't want to be in regular contact because like I was working through some stuff which I think was the first time I ever told her about any any of the problems that I was being acknowledging the fact that we had a difficult relationship. So how did she respond? She like didn't acknowledge it. She was like Oh okay. She acknowledged the thing about like not me not wanting her to come out and then she was like cool about therapy by great also but also like I think it was the first time either arrested ever directly acknowledge it and so like maybe she just like wasn't really ready to talk about it which is fair because it took me until I was thirty two. It also felt like very characteristic of like the the whole way we we like. Don't talk about different things. Essentially so it wasn't totally unexpected. It was a little weird and like I still think about it. Obviously but yeah. Yeah I mean I think it's okay to say that that's a little weird thanks. It was like after it happened. I was like is this or not weird and I had to like ask other people because like I was so bad at judging whether or not this was like a normal or not normal thing last year. Jackie gave birth to her. Baby Doris since Doris. His father's white and Asian grandmother isn't in the picture Jackie's also been building a new branch of the family tree. I have a really close friend from college. Who is Chinese American and I think like one knowing. Him and knowing this person who's like a really close friend of mine and having him be a part of her life but also like we want to make sure she like. We like live in a place where she can see people who look like even if they're not related to her but like we wanna live in a community where like th that's a diverse community but also like their Asian people here like I grew up in a really white part of the country and it sucked for me. 'cause like I didn't really see other Asian kids I'm really close with my in laws and like they and their great but like I'm really mindful of the fact that like I want to make sure that she grows up around people who look like her and who like don't reflect the whiteside basically who I love but also like I like. I wanted to make sure she feels like fully seen. Yeah could you tell us a little bit more about that? That feeling that desire like to be seen to like have her grow up seeing other Asian people. Yeah like I I think like some of it is like I think I have a lot of hangups about like growing up as one of the few Asian kids where I was. I have a lot of hangups about like. I don't speak Chinese or Tagalog and I don't I have like I really like tenuous connection with my own family's culture. I guess I always used to feel like I didn't I was like I didn't quite belong. I wasn't like totally Asian enough and I clearly wasn't white so like where. Where did I belong and I like? I worry about my kid feeling that way too so I mean I feel being in the bay. Area's Nice because there are a lot of people who looked like her and there's a huge Lake Chinese and Filipino community. Here That we can be a part of and that she can like see some of herself in also and learn about like. I don't know like I never learned about like the Asian Immigrant History. So like there's a part of me that wants to have her feel connected to that even if she doesn't know my family like that she feels like connected to at least like the Asian American community in the like here like in general like I feel like I want to be able to give her that at least even if she can't have a connection to like her immediate family or my immediate family. Once you had your daughter did those feelings or have those feelings and those fears faded at all. Yeah they have. I realized I didn't have expectations the way that like my my parents did with me and like. I thought I think I realized that I was thinking about her really differently than what I was always afraid of. Look I kind of like saw the version of myself that I was afraid of being and I saw myself like being a parent with her as a newborn and was like Oh. These are not the same person. I'm not doing that so Jackie. How do you hope to little Doris I? I hope that she's like feels taking care of and like safe. And that she's independent and like can like it. Feels like she doesn't have to be responsible for like my happiness that she's just like an independent her own person. I wanted to be her own person. Who like likes you likes and like that. I respect her for like being who she is and doing what she wants. And that I'm I'm like genuinely happy for like whatever she wants to like. Whoever she turns out to be and yeah I'm like really excited to see like who she becomes. I'm really happy about your mom. I ladies does estrangement spectrum familiar to you. Have you had to cut off contact with a parent or family member? Email us at hello at unladylike? Dot Co find unsocial at unladylike media or join our private facebook group and jump into the thread for this episode visit. Unladylike DOT CO to find this episode sources and transcript while you're there sign up for our newsletter to get a weekly dose of desperately needed actually good news and hopefully some actually good news for listeners. If you go over to patriotdepot dot com slash unladylike media. You can find. Brand new AD free extra unladylike bonus episodes. We're going to be trying to put out some more during this time of quarantines so head over again to Patriot dot com slash unladylike media and thanks to everyone who subscribes so far nor Richie is the producer of unladylike. Abigail Keel is our senior producer. Johnny Palmer is our story editor. Shoot the Murata transcribes are tape? Our music is five shadow. Army May Cohen and Sarah. Ted's mixing by Andy Kristen's sound design and additional music spy. Casey HOLFORD executive producer. Chris Bannon Daisy Rosario and unladylike media this podcast was created by your hosts. Kristen KONGER and Carolina Irvine of unladylike media. Next week I call it addicted because I legitimately cannot function without them like I had my nails off for all of the day and I was like. This is the ghetto. Shit I've ever experienced in my whole entire life never again. Will I ever ever ever do this to myself? I was like I can ever ever ever go up my nails. We're talking to Tim. Be Denton hearst about her love affair with acrylics and were going deep on the history of Vietnamese nail salons and the women who changed the nail industry forever. Make sure your subscribe to unladylike. So you don't miss this episode. Fundus institue spotify apple podcasts. Or wherever you like to listen and remember got a problem get unladylike if mama happy no no I. 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They Called This a Movie Episode 71 - Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

They Called This a Movie

1:26:24 hr | 10 months ago

They Called This a Movie Episode 71 - Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

"I'm sonic little ball of Subaru Energy in an extremely handsome package on my planet. People were always after my powers so I came to yours. It gets a little lonely but that's okay. I am living my best glide broader. The voice at the dismount also son. I can't with that guy hiding out in my garage power. They could conquer the universe. You have to help me please. It's life or death good morning my rural chump. Mr Dr Ovonic. I'm going to give you five seconds to tell me what is happening to me. Oh my God stop because what the world's largest rubber band ball we got to see it. No this is not some fun family road trip. You're right it was lame. Give Shabas cool though. Whatever this creature is I'm going to uncover the source its power. I just thought you might like a lot with steamed Austrian goat milk. Of course take them. We gotta lay low. Let me show you how it's done to get out of here. Yeah time to go. I always wanted to do this. You not dead. I have no idea that was illegal. Left away on his cute. Let's keep you've got car insurance right. Why would you throw your life away for this synod of alien time because my friend? Let's see this is my power and I'm using it to protect my friends so you're supposed to be Tom's best friend that he won't shut up about a lot. I don't see feel very grows to they. Call some movie testing the strength of friendships. One terrible movie at a time. Subscribe to the PODCAST and podcast services by searching. They call this movie. We were part of the main naming. I work with to find more for the website. The maintenance dot com or on twitter facebook and Instagram at amy. We're so now. Proud member Geek vibration you can find them at GB NATION DOT com. What they call this movie. This Anthony Delvecchio with me is always Dan. Acquino when Mark Myers. Hello Gentlemen. Hey everybody. I'm finishing a Chili Dog. Geez WE'RE GONNA move on from from that one to introduce because we have a very special episode this week Mark L. Though he never really mentioned on this podcast has a video game. Podcast the game volt podcast and we have here today with us is his Co host on that. Show Tom Schuster and Jenny. Acquino say hello. Tom Do Great. That's all he wanted right. Say in terms of energy. Well as long as you don't try one a bit that mark. Wow that might have been your worst. No no it's the fast and the furious bit from a couple of weeks ago on our podcast made. We put the Kabosh on on this one. Because I was sensing that he's GonNa try toy a double double up on that one so for episode one hundred. We'll rank your worst ones. Today is a semi special episode. We have them on here to talk about the much maligned. Twenty twenty to release known as sonic the HEDGEHOG. We decided to do this episode before we all watched it obviously and now. It's doing gangbusters in theaters. So here we are to talk about it but before we go into it everybody. What is your experience going in with? Sonic the HEDGEHOG and we'll start with the. We'll start with guest Tom. What's your experience with? Sonic the Hedgehog in terms of past and present my experience with sonic goes a long way back. I didn't own it genesis as a kid but I had plenty of friends. Who did I always liked to play? Sonic but I didn't play on it. I guess like a normal person. Would I literally tried to run through it as fast as possible? Good every time because sonic is fast. So why wouldn't I also pretty big Fan of the Saturday morning cartoon that the one that did the voice for Sonic Julia White to the Voice of Sonic and now that I'm a retro Gamer? And that's like what I do. I own like almost all the sonic games so I now get to go back and relive them. Whatever want genuine about you. I'm the opposite of all of you probably. I never really played sonic and the first time I really played. It was for Retro Roulette on our own. Podcast you're welcome. Yeah thanks okay. And our usuals Denmark where you coming from. I'm coming from somewhere. Were taught in the middle with Tom. I didn't I also known as Sega Genesis but I have family members who did I loved. Sonic Sonic and sonic to with tales. Tales was my favourite. His I was always. I was always second player with my cousin. I never watched the cartoon. But I've seen bits and pieces of it. And he just seemed very mean in the cartoon like I guess he was trying to come off his edgy and cool but he always seemed like he was condescending towards the other animals and everything and I wasn't a fan of that sure he had an attitude the two era. I don't like that man you know. Just just be nice. Why can't everyone just be nice to each other? What I have Dan. Do we have on this? Podcast is one of the trust me. He's not doing anything special because I'm around. I'm a nice guy. I am a nice guy literally. I'm a nice. You have to bury this podcast. Skip this week. Start over between the Chili dog incident. And now this creepy Nice Guy Voice so experience with sonic. I had a Sega Genesis and I was probably much more back. Zen of Kid Mario Kid. Because Genesis was my system the any s was the family slash. My sister system with shy meant that I had to play Mary three when the family was around or something but this was the first one that was in my room on my TV. So I got to play a sonic the hedgehog for for as long as the one in Australia with cartoons comics. You had all to three and sonic and knuckles. I even ended up buying sonic adventure for the dreamcast. Which is when I realized. Maybe this is going in a bad direction. That's when he realized. Yeah that's why I realized you know. I was really into sonic at that point until it's only been in teenage to early twenties years that. I realized that Mario is much better game overall but I think I play Sonic Mania which we played on the extra livestream. I'm a little bit next just because it reminds me of all those old games. I wasn't allowed to play. Sonic right. It was too. I know too violent now. I just didn't have a SEGA GENESIS MY COUSIN DID. I never really cared. Play Nintendo kid through and through. Although I did watch the show I think I played one level of sonic mania extra extreme and that is my sonic. I was super indifferent to this movie going in and I am super indifferent coming out of it but to go into a little bit of detail Sonic the Hedgehog of twenty twenty and it was directed by Jeff Fowler who directed an animated short called Gopher broke sixteen years ago. And that's it. It's it's stars the Voice of been Schwartz as the titular. Sonic the hedgehog. Jim Carey James Marston. Tika sumpter Natasha. Rothwell Adam pally has an IMDB score of Seven Point Zero. Mayo score of as of Monday. Sixty four percent budget. Eighty five million dollars estimated box office as of opening weekend. Fifty seven million. Us opening the a little backgrounds of this film originally released by Sony Pictures. Under the Columbia pictures arm sometime in two thousand. Eighteen rights were eventually acquired by paramount pictures and in February twenty eighteen announced it would be released on November Fifteenth Twenty Nine Thousand Nine than the decided to put it up to November eighth and then they released a trailer on April fourth. Two thousand nineteen the faded trailer premiered cinema con. Was that day that will live in. Yeah they showed it on send. Mcconnell April four twenty nineteen and eventually was released on April thirtieth to the Internet's to very negative reception. Took them a bout four days or so. And then they decided to announce that they were going to redesign. Sonic may second twenty nineteen and then they released a trailer after that work was done on November Twelfth With the new design of sonic too much more positive perception that was released on February fourteen. Twenty twenty they estimate of the redesigned cost about five million dollars so do bad number. I don't know how much they spent on marketing. So that those are always the numbers that are kind of hidden but if the this movie makes two hundred million dollars and it's probably money well spent but at this point. What do you guys think about this film? Let's go first time. I enjoyed it. I went in with low expectations. Just because I know how well they do game movies do and how. They bastardize characters very quickly. It was interesting how they tried to write a new origin story for sonic. I guess sonic never really had one so it was kind of interesting to see them come up with their own. I like the little amount of Fan Service. They did with a couple of things like they snuck in the sonic the hedgehog theme song. At some point Marco bring up some other stuff that they did but I think a seven is a very fair score for it right now. It was a popcorn. Movie is all I could call it. Jim I'm excited to hear. I think the best way for me to describe how I felt about. It was just affirming the fact that it was a kids movie. I can't be too harsh on it for what it was. I didn't hate it. There are parts of it where I felt like it was a little cheesy but again. That's what kids love. The most and there are some things I got. I could improve upon I did like the little bit of Fan Service that they had an lake. Tom Said how they played the sonic theme song towards the end of the movie. That was cute. I kind of wish they did a little bit more of that in the little bit of sonic that I know I could have appreciated that kind of stuff a little bit more but overall I'd say I'm a little bit lower than Tom. I would give it a six out of ten about you. Dan. I didn't hate it. I also didn't love this movie. I think it was harmless again. It's a kids movie so going into it. I figured you know it. They were going to have certain things that would appeal just to the kids and I was hoping there would be some stuff. That appeal to grown ups wasn't too much of that. But I like Jim Carrey He went back to more of his slapstick way of acting that he was phenomenal. But he didn't ruin the movie I enjoyed him James Marston again. One of the most overlooked actors in Hollywood. I think he's such a nice guy he looks like you do. Do you. Just WanNa hang out with and everyone just kinda passes over him and I think the redesign definitely helped the movie out I. I can't imagine sitting there for an hour and a half looking at the abomination that was first passed. Wow Oh my God that fuel i. I would be too distracted at looking at a semi realistic Blue Hedgehog. Yeah it would have taken me out of the movie but Yeah I think for what it was doing. It did well It was semi faithful to the I mean. How faithful can you be to just a hedgehog running as fast as you can around loop de loops and going through fire pits and whatnot. But I you know listen I left thinking or you know. I didn't hate it so I will get. I'm going to split the difference. I would say six and a half more towards the seven area good mark yes so I was. I was excited going in just because it was either going to be something that I enjoyed or it was gonna be such terrible message that we just fun. Sitting in that theater watching it collapsed so I was. I was a little nervous when they started the origin. Story until they showed That the people that live on the island were a kidnaps Like knuckles So I was like all right. They're not completely abandoning You know the history of sonic try to write their own thing There at least sticking close to that And it was just the whole movie is is a very fine kids movie like there's not much to hate about it. It'll probably fall under the same realm if I ever get to see detective. Pink atro- in Nat- it's it'll have some good references for us in some. You know good jokes for adults and people fans of series. But it's not going to be overly you know end up on anybody's top ten list or anything like that for the year At I completely agree with Dan in in terms of James Marston He should get a lot more You know leading man roles. We watched a movie A few weeks ago. You know killers with Ashton Kutcher and I'm like I'd much rather see James Marston in that role you know coming out of this moving You know it's just I don't I don't know I don't know why it's just everything I've seen him in. I've liked So it was nice to see that you know he. He brought that same Acting ability to this this role in didn't like make feel like a paycheck movie But I gotta say they they did they did a real good job of giving sonic reasons To have the a emotional rollercoaster. Kinda goes through in the movie Because there's none of that in a series of video games. He's always you know the top of the food chain super happy. Go Lucky Kinda thing but they they. They tried to inject the best they could without going over kids. Heads you know why certain things happened in the movie and I thought that was well done. It could have been very poorly written In very cheesy and You know just try to talk down to the kids. It's it's my one. Pet peeve kids movies is I just don't want them to really talk down to the kids like you can like I remember all the movies we grew up with and a lot of them. They feel like you know They they talk down to we were imbeciles watching the movie. And that's what I enjoy. It is at this. Did enough that. Even the the kids around me didn't get bored or start making noise or anything in the movie theater. Everybody was locked in. So that's my number one takeaway. Today did their job. Is that experience so when the the movie talks dumb to me though helps me recognize what's going on here and yeah I would probably put it at. Yeah I would say it's fine so like a seven is probably good. There's nothing really terrible in it There are some parts that you're like. Okay it's not for someone my age But does that mean I wouldn't watch a sequel? No you know I I would definitely watch the sequel to this movie But Yeah Yeah. It's not. It's not the complete catastrophe that we thought it was GONNA be Unlike a movie like cats which turned into the catastrophe that we thought it was going to be. And I'm actually pleasantly surprised by that. It's the world's most okays movie. It's really what it comes down to and unmemorable with me. What's up one point? Did you feel like sonic was gonna Steal Tika Sumpter from James Marston? There was definitely some sexual tension going. There was right. And that's that's this always happens to James Marsden right. Yeah absolutely has the girl and then some dude swoops in and just takes takes the sorting X. Men podcast. I did think about that that during the movie. I was like well in this movie. James Martin can't possibly lose the girl that's not true in in Superman returns was in lowest and I don't know his character's name weren't they were engaged. I think they had a kid but it was soups kid. Still they clean. And this is the Hollywood's cuck and James Morrison. I never actually thought about that until you just brought up. And now he's going through my head and I'm like get lost on that one. Yeah enchanted the thing of it is. It's that he's he's always super nights even when he loses the girl. It's never likely several. Because he's the bad guy it's like he's the bad guy that loses girls like oh well all right well. I hope there's someone out there for me is the first season of Westworld is entirely. That James gets killed the end of every day. I feel bad for him. But if James if you're listening you can live with us and we won't leave you. Wow right you can have my wife completely unintimidated by James Morrison James Marston. To be part of my life. Somehow he's again. He seems like a Super Nice Guy. He's the nicest handsome guy in Hollywood someone. Someone showed a picture of him Holding a giant gigantic umbrella might just thought well you know what he he probably has that for loved ones and he just. There's no loved ones in his life are you. Are you reading a James Martin advantage fiction? I'm just I'm trying to rising to our lives. I think I think fifty shades for you. Then maybe if we got James Marston in fifty shades Arab way I would. I would watch that. Yeah that's a good swamp. I WANNA make the end of this this podcast. I WANNA make a list of movies. I would have been better. That's a new segment would make this better. I'm all for it. Yeah made it up. Yeah sure you are to me. This movie is a six at kids are GonNa love it and more power to them It's it's better than it needs to be. I don't know maybe I'm just coming at it with a no invested interest in sonic It it was a movie I saw and I'll probably forget about. I was barely able to write the plot because I forgot what most things that happened in it. It's going to live in my short term memory for maybe week and then I it will eventually just find. Its way out. I WON'T WATCH I probably won't watch It was just fine. Jim Carey was fine. Like through the first forty five minutes and then I kinda grow grew tired of him Defying Project Real quick. I feel like they hired Jim Carey to just be Jim. Carrey from nineteen ninety five. I think that's all they wanted. He wasn't bad but he was stretched super thin by the end where he was just kind of like all right well they only had one he only had one place to go and got their super early like you went to eleven in the first scene he was in and then he had the tried sustain that for the rest of the movie. It's tough when you're asked to be a character named Dr Rohbock Net. You know it's there's really not much material to work with their and you're maniacal genius Danny Mean Egg Man Right. Dr Robot McBride is an issue. Yes yes but Edmund stuff. His name's robotic but in Japan is named Agni and I thought that was cool. How Sonic Calls Him Egghead. Egg Man and everything like that and the service that we appreciated but yeah I agree I think after awhile. It gets a little sticky with the Jim Carrey but again where world could he really go? You can't turn in a powerhouse performance. All here from ant is that they need to release foul cut yet because this is GonNa be the one film. Jeff Fowler directs for long. I'll maybe not maybe not to he'll get the sequel and who knows what else I mean. They seem to have hit on your hands. It's weird that this movie has become the The male representative in the culture wars of women versus men. Yeah this is. I think we need to Redo and figure out a better one. Yeah we need to hit the reset button. Hard on that one. But that's really like the birds of prey fans of really made this war. They started it for some odd reason. You're getting an. I was kind of disappointed in this. I before going to the movie I saw a bunch of tweets that sonic had like homophobic slurs. And everything who WanNa pick out what the slurs are just to see if people are telling the truth and I thankfully there are none but I was a little disappointed. You dislike out. Well they're liars. I wanted to see if they tried to sneak something through and then they go got him but no. This was a very clean very family friendly movie. From top to bottom so to recap. Dan is disappointed that they dropped. The the F-. I'm disappointed that these people would lie. They will go to such lengths to lie about it. I'm very that there is nothing like that in there. That would've bummed me out but I I thought to myself. Ooh This could be interesting because now I'm going to try to pinpoint what these people are talking about. Yeah there were well. Don't worry when the sequel comes out there and they're they're gonNA they're gonNA introduce tails and he's just the most racist character in the Sonic Universe. She because it's it's okay from where they come from yet. We would say certain words the Amazon. Something different there right. It's it's like how like how a certain word in like in England is a cigarette or a bundle of wood. I'M NOT GONNA SAY IT ON THE PODCAST. But we're GONNA go far with this joke. I'm just saying the middle of the road for this podcast. I'm making sure I never has never come before last episode. We don't say anything bad but we told the line and just we. We may have also insinuated that Jay Z and fiancee told Obama where the send the drone strikes as well with this. Let's bring mentioned about the time cop episode better. That was a good episode. Go back if you're listening. Go Back Yeah you could probably check out here on this one. That's fun time cop one though that one that one's going because of implications I thought it was really interesting that Dc was in this movie Comic YET SONIC READING FLASH COMICS PRETTY INTERESTING THEY. They've now shown that the flashes thing in this universe Canon now. Yay whose faster the flasher sonic. Let that maybe. We'll find out in a sequel. I hope kit three hundred miles per hour in this movie right. Yeah so flashes. Way Faster the speed force. Sonic did not go supersonic Dan. He didn't realize those samples. Yeah I went. He basically goes super saying if you've seen dragon ball or dragged Chelsea. It's the same type of deal. If he gets all six Kassim. Yeah Yeah right as one does turns yellow central and then he snaps his fingers. What happens nothing? Really? Just think fucks James Marsden already balls deep and Tika sumpter. And I can't imagine Ben Schwartz voice just going to town thing inside of Ood war the Lexus. The Utah Say I could have picked a better voice for Sonic. I agree. And he wasn't bad but it wasn't he was he was okay. Just like the rest James Morris casting as the voice casts Jalil white to reprise his role as sonic out of an underpass in the Hollywood hills. Who who you. Who Do you think would have been Basic Goldberg? Who would have been a better voice for stock? Jeremy Renner when you put me on the spot. The answers Jeremy Renner cancelled so fast. If you put Ryan Reynolds's Pitcher. I don't see why he couldn't put Jeremy. Sonic thank the baggage that goes along with Jeremy. Renner though Yeah Story. The alleged check does all his line readings with a gun. Talk Apple Jeremy. Renner store You know a product placement and they're just like hundred other things they did in this. Oh yeah products in touch yet eighty. We have to stop at the Jeremy Renner store. Before we go to the olive garden it could have been featured at the biker Bar Rustic rustic. There's nothing I'm more. Sure of that. The writer one of the writers of this move eight fought for that olive garden joke the entire time the where they say the you know they had the back and forth finishing with your family. Yeah that thing like somebody in the Rhodesian fought for that to stay in the script they probably have stock in olive garden. Dude can I get some you know? People love. Plus for Valentine's Day was the never ending but stick bouquet or whatever so maybe that's why he had the product placement. There was a couple of others but I can't remember them off the top of my Pepsi I think was Sony's pretty Dettori as for doing these obvious products don't with the power rangers they do like crispy cream and home depot and stuff like that. They had a lot of stuff Chevy truck I believe Toyota Toyota. Okay so I didn't know I'm not a car guy gave me this like come on. Dan as I said it like three times little. Chevy's your woman. How am I supposed to trustee with machinery driving? Jeez don't help him. Tom I was right. They were shifting. Clearly Chevron Chevy cars Chevrolet Express Chevrolet. There are several EPS right. So we're going to plot the Hedgehog of what we do we're gonNA take a step back and listen to a couple of words from friends of the gas so we will be right back. Hey everyone this is Steve. And this is Adam and more part of the hot nation. Usa podcast Pittsburgh's number three craft beer. Podcast join us. Every Friday for new gear reviews. We'll talk about the news history and homebrew plus. We'll sit down with the best brewers industry personalities. That'll have us so whether you're a casual drinker hazy boy hop head or even if you're a whale hunting sell order just search hop nation. Usa On apple spotify or your favorite podcast and join the nation. Ohi didn't see you there. It's me George from the best little horror house in Philly. The show where we talk about the best horror movie ever made according to our guest. At least we've talked about groundbreaking classics Texas chainsaw massacre an alien. But we've also got a lotta great ones coming up including some very fun guests like Len Cab Kinsky of swamp zombies and red letter media fame Caroline Williams the star of Texas chainsaw massacre two and Chase Williamson from John. Dies at the end. So make sure you're subscribed to the best little horror house in Philly and I'll see you boils and ghouls over there. Welcome back everybody. And it's time to get into the of sonic the HEDGEHOG. We open up in San Francisco the chase and some destruction as robotic chases sonic through the streets and is literally starts with a Yep. That's me you're probably wondering how I got myself into this situation. Not Agreeing to start because that was big when the movie was probably it was big when sonic was around. Yeah so from there. We flashback to when sonic was a young hedgehog and if this was written more recent they probably would have tried to capitalize on baby. Sonic but they didn't so he flashed back when he was young hedge hog and being taken care of bio L. Name Long Claw. Yeah I don't know People out there listening maybe can You know Tweeted the the account and let us know Is this the first appearance of this? How or is this either way? It was strange but it was something that happened right after this. That gave me hope for the rest of the movie. Yeah so maybe it's from. Sonic two thousand six But I don't know long claws now cannon and they'll probably have to read retrofitted into the upcoming summit Sonic Games move long claw warns that sonic needs to hide his secret powers or else bad people will try and capture him so basically the origin story of Elsa from frozen is taken put him into sonic. Sonic doesn't listen and a bunch of mask. The kid acuteness try to capture or kill him than long claw gives him a sack of rings that can help him teleport anywhere he wants to go and he and sends him to. Earth and long claws never seen again what you never see a body so all right good for example could be killed all the kids are going to be clamoring for more long claw his long claw. Jammie fluoride in the theater. After she died she was inconsolable for the next twenty minutes runs. Probably something that happened for Dan kid next to me was giving her tissues. It was very adorable. I don't know it's not real lady. That's what he kept saying. Not Real drawing her. Exactly what avenue? So we flash forward several years later and sonic is living in Green Hills. Montana which that's a little nod to the Green Hills Green Hills zone. That's the only thing I know about the about the game. Green Hill Zone. He's link living in secret among the townspeople and then we get to learn from his point of view Few of the towns people's names including Sheriff Akao Ski Plays by James Marsden and his wife. Mattie who is a veterinarian played by Tika sumpter and then we get crazy. Carl the only person that knows about sonic but shocks them up to just being crazy Hold on I need to interject. That was the act he actually showed. A drawing of Santic must've fast so they they were real woke. Yes so why? Is that considered woke? 'cause I don't mean I don't know. Oh okay whoa Santa thing is. It's a really really old mean. And the drawing he shows of. Sonic is that mean. Oh okay somebody on the dvr page or something or somewhere drew route Sadak. I just never took credit for it. You got a little too embarrassed but now that this movie's killing it. Nancy got eight hundred likes. Maybe he'll he'll reveal yourself as the second. I'd get thirteen hundred. Just you wait brother. I can't wait for your that. I've seen it slowdown. Though I'm stuck in each seventy six run another steam so sonic hangs out in the forest and some sort of underground cavity summit with a whole bunch of cool shit. He's got comics. Big Ads stereos. It's basically a common thief and all he really wants friends. The folks around troll Sheriff Tom at a speed trap and Tom Finds Quill that he leaves behind. Which is big and blue. And then we were a little backstory about Sheriff Tom. He gets accepted to join the San Francisco police force which is easily one of the worst career decisions ever made But he basically feels like he's a big fish small pond and has lived in greenhills his whole life but has a beautiful house which he's going to sacrifice for a three hundred square foot apartment worth forty six hundred dollars. I brought to you by Zillow. That was a product. That's right Zillow's on Mark I was Gonna say even mention it by name like I was looking at it on. Zillow the best place to find a new place to live wink. Sonic then happens upon a Little League Baseball game and watches a kid win the game and everyone's all happy and all his friends lift them up and all that kind of shit then when everybody leaves feel like. That's never been that's never happened to aunt. That's why he's just like lossing it over. That's not true actually stole home to win a baseball game when I was on that team. We have confirmation to an aunt is just like selling it back at me tonight. Goddamn this is my only former social interaction these days. So there with me and for some reason Somebody on twitter. Mark this moment up and Remind everybody that Tony Danza was tug out in the. Who's the boss opening credits? So yes it was like the guy was like yeah just reminder sonic scored ear but Tony Danza was out at home plate. And I'm like okay. I don't see the comparison here. That's a long grudge to hold. Yeah it was like somebody that's l. That GARAGE. Since he's the boss was on the air and he knows what he did. Finally I under account. That's why he died. In angels in the outfield knows. Where did where did he died in the outfield? He winds up dying eventually. He only gets like another six months or something like that as we all do. Officially die strew So after everybody leaves. Sonic does a whole bugs by routine after the game where he plays himself in baseball. But it's a super hollow exists in being the world's only blue alien hedgehog so he runs around the basis really fast with no specific goal in mind and then gets really electrical and sends out an emt of sorts and then that's all the power out in the Pacific northwest the blackout gets the attention the US government who thinks that could terrorist or some bunch of other explanations. The contract the job out to Dr. Ivo Robotic played with Jim Carey the greatest technology mine in the world has advanced drone technology and should be able to figure out what happened so robotic arrives in greenhills Vian enormous ticky camper with a team of smarmy assholes shows up when he talks down to neal McDonough. Who's playing an army major for the only for some reason and now I wonder if he had a bigger role and then they were like. Yeah you know what we only need you seen. I mean he's got a huge star but one of those faces like A. Hey I know that guy from something I don't know I don't remember what it is but I know that guy think he was in the street fighter movie right. The streetfighter reboot or something like that. He plays M Bison doesn't he he's all he's everywhere you think he is not but he's everywhere. I don't know if that's true though. He's a Canon now Dan. That's that's fact that he's the Internet works mouth. Oh Okay Fair. Enough for instance either and it becomes fact. If it's on a podcast. It must be true. It's everybody else's responsibility to prove your point point sending backtracking your coffee. I like I feel like he's a pretty good character actor right and anything you see him in. He's usually. He has a pretty good range. If I remember correctly yeah I forget when he was. He's he's in a bunch of I think he was in Captain America. Yeah he's like captain he's Dum Dum Dugan. Yep that's right. He was so good in that movie. I remember so much about him. Jim Carrey This is a full on Jeffrey. Combs and reanimator appear performance of ever seen one and robotic sends out his army of drones to find the cause of the blackout. And eventually it closes in on Sonic's home when he escapes and tries to find a place to hide. In order to engage those those Rings to go to the mushroom planet that he doesn't WanNa go to see. I thought this is the mushroom planet cannon. I think it was a reference to Super Mario Brothers. That's what I was thinking. I was thinking that the end credit sequence might have brought in Super Mario. I read that it's actually from sonic and knuckles Yes supposedly that's worth knuckles so I don't know if they're setting that up for the future. Maybe that's what I've heard. Does it played the game the introduction of knuckles and sonic three that robotic use 'em to try and kill sonic so that would make sense if they were setting that up. Okay so sonacare. Tom's house and hides out in the garage before he gets ready to use. Teleporting your house Tom. Lord and Everything. Dona has another thing. Sonic Calls Tom. Donut Lord. No Movie Jen and I were talking about this on the ride home. Because again I brought up the whole the tweets from the birds of prey fans so was the donut. Lord the Homophobic Slur. I Dunno now right. 'cause are we over thinking it. I didn't I didn't read the tweet that you read. So it's hard for me to tell it I one of them was kinda crazy. It's basically You know I took my family to see sonic the hedgehog. Hymns appalled by the homophobic slurs. That were being hurled so we went and saw birds of prey instead and had a great time. Will you took your kids to see an R. rated movie that sounds like a joke tweets me literal? No I don't maybe it was. I don't know slash S. After the I it was it was it was a person with the birds of prey a icon. So it's very possible now was I don't know now. Listen you're making me question reality here. It's right I don't fuck out of you you are and I don't like it so I'm GonNa ask you to stop doing it. Ultra you're dating dating Smith and you guys aren't real man will don't do it. Please stop it. Please having sonic in Tom's house then Tom's house and Tom's wife. Mattie is over in San Francisco visiting her sister and looking at apartments matty's sister for some reason hates Tom's guts and I think we all yes. She's the worst character in this movie. I found her funny. I did not I I like some of. I'd like when she got tied up if they kind of showed why she hated him so much a little bit more. Maybe it would have been better but I mean they do show you. I does look at James Marston Shelly. I've just look at him and then look at them. Are you saying she? She wants to break herself off. A piece of James Marsden. Is that why you think maybe it was like one of those things where they were Mattie and the sister at a bar and James Marston was there and like the the sister was like. Aw You know. He's fine his mother fucker. I'm GonNa go get me some of James Marsden and then James Marsden took a liking to Mattie instead Kinda like how Seymour. Skinner fell in love with the voice. You are writing fan fiction. I E SCAPE. The simpsons references. How do we do John? John Wall and Tom One of Dan's rea instagram and saw someone else named John and seven. I saw okay Steph. We get it wrong. We do Simpson's references at least once and for those at home Steph. Is Jen sister? That's a little behind the scenes Easter egg for you guys jokes so again. Tom Hears a noise in his garage. Kuhn so he's goes into shoot it with a trank but sonic and he opens up a portal. The San Francisco and drops a bag of rings on the transamerica pyramid before the portal closes. And he passes out so it sound puts them in a cage. Sonic eventually wakes up and walks right out of the cage and they kind of this is their meet cute and they just talk about. Hey some guys are coming for me and I lost my bag rings and I could talk and I'm weird blue jog. Tom's like that's crazy and then some German show up and he's like you gotta hide me. This is crazy in Tom's like this. Is CRAZY ITEM MY ATTIC? This is actual dialogue from the movie. Yes more or less manage crazy. Yeah Yeah it's it's a he. He's the most trusting cop I've ever seen. He doesn't really question much because he's like a sheriff in a real small town so he knows everybody I now want to. I don't know why he would want to leave right. That's such a sweet gig man. An instant especially to go to San Francisco Places Schiphol. It's become a beat cop in San Francisco. He Says I. I just want to walk the B. and help people no one's GonNa like you in San Francisco. Tom's getting shot like I. I'm I stay on the job right because he's very gullible. So you're dude. I need your help man start talking to a doughnut and get his ass off just crazy and then someone s for sure. Yeah Yeah it's like e even sonic who has. No friends was the one that was basically. What the Fuck Dude. He's the voice of reason in the situation so he hides sonic in his his attic and robotic is snooping around outside. And I was like you know. Fuck you doing outside my house. Can I help you and robotics like I think? He says he's like what the gas company or the Electric Company here to investigate Blah Blah Blah. And Tom sees right through that. And they kind of have their own dick measuring contests and dislike. I want to come in is like you can't and then and I feel he shows them his badge doesn't he? He does remember getting ready to shoot him with one of the The drones and he goes. You can't do this cop and again Rabbani says he's heard. Isa's like something about of course I can because you never existed or something. He was gonNA erase him. So robotic eventually goes to leave and then he sees the giant blue quill and then realizes something's not up sums not right on the drones show up and they're about to shoot Tom and Tom. Punches robotic in the face and the drone shoots the fuck out of the house and Tom and sonic get the fuck. Outta dodge the port. I LOVE HIS SONIC JUMPS OUT. And Cause me take me. Take me whatever. And then just floods robotic slim. Okay he just guy just told you he was like some kind of government official and you just punch across the face for this thing. You just met. He doesn't look like a government official. No yeah right and he just lied about being part of the electric company. You don't know what he's doing. Any showed up with drones. June goddamn house. Drone drones drones. That's a deep cut right there. I don't know if we're going to get that. It's fun I figure it out. It's got it. That's all the singer complaints to at decline one. Twenty two please do I look forward to it so sonic Tom hit the road? It's on existing. San Francisco treat as Bagger. Rings tells Tom that it's his fault. The rings are there so he has to help them get San Francisco. It sounds like that's true so I guess I guess I gotta go. He felt bad but shooting him just like well. He's got me did the rights. I did kind of let shoot them and then let his bag fall on the portal like. Hey Sonic here's a map to get the San Francisco and had to get to the TRANSAMERICA building. Just follow this Google map quest for. Yeah Yeah I like how they tried to right around the fact that he could have gotten there and five seconds but he just didn't know how to get there that was actually one part in the movie to maybe Laugh out loud. A little bit was when he tells me just go. West is just a straight shot west and runs back when he comes back with efficiency and essentially it was like a like listen to his literal directions and just kept running west along with the children in our theater. Kick out of that too. So that makes you feel. That's funny. Listen it was funny you would you? Would you stop being such a knows this not being such a nice guy? Yeah I get it understand. That's funny stuff. Stop it I am beside myself with laughter and okay so I hit the road. First UP ON THE ROAD TOM GOES TO GAS STATIONS US payphone to get snacks and meanwhile sonic sneaks off to a neighbouring biker bar and then he starts having a good time. Tom Finds them and sonic start making a buck list of things he wants to do before he leaves air so they get into a bar fight a giant bar fight and this includes a moment like quicksilver in this X. Men Movies where sonic just girls around the bar and does hilarious stuff to everybody in there? Yeah the kid next to me absolutely loved the Selfie. Seen Cool what he sides up and hits us at like that. That kid didn't make much in terms of laughing or applauding but he had a belly laugh about that for the rest of that scene. Did you ask him to come on the PODCAST SPLEEN? What self are what's a Selfie? Missed Opportunity Mark. We could have gotten a key. Demographic there'll be sure but I WANNA try now. He's we passed over it. Real fast is I actually liked Adam. Police performance as the the the basically the COP. That didn't really know what he was doing. Deputy Yeah Yeah I did get a chuckle out of the When power goes out and he calls. Marsden won't do I relax and then and then call all these people. It was okay. What was the first thing? He told me to do. Relax and he just sits back and doesn't think reminds me of me because that's exactly what I would die. I'm not doing anything. So they can. To fight with a bunch of bikers eventually they amps cray after Sonic Kinda freezes time. Basically in kind of moves everybody around They they high tail it out of their good at a motel after the bar fight and Tom sees the last thing on sonics a bucket list as he's tucking inside the go to sleep all he really wants to make a real friend this is. Dan started crying because I can associated with that. I want a real friend. That's true. Yeah one day you'll get one of those. I hope so thirty three. I could use one right now. You you you when you get to. Nine hundred likes on that eighty one nineteen real friend. Keep talking that shit and I'm coming for you brew So on the road again. The next day robotic tracks them down and six drones on Tom's car destroys the truck entirely removing the hood of the entire the entire cab of the truck but Sonic Content. Tom Team UP TO DESTROY. Rob Robotics drone. It's basically one giant grown anytime to destroy a piece of it gets smaller and more basic until eventually. It's just a flying kind of paying little handheld like about the size of a golf ball drum and then I like that. They introduced the rolling. Hit something mechanic from the Games and has spent attack. Excited just had no idea what was going on. This was the first instance of the FOs. The also the slimming down of the enemy is kind of thing from the Games too. Yeah so it gets more and smaller. He F- losses at one point when he destroys it which was one of two losses eventually. the final drone blows up though and sonic gets knocked out so tom has to drive all the way to San Francisco and a truck with no tab as well as a knockout. Sonic eventually arrives at Mattie sister's house and as we mentioned Mattie sister hates Tom and shows up with cycle his arms tried to hide it but then the dog kind of pulled off the blankets and reveal the. Oh my God. We have a giant Alien Hedgehog Mattie works on Sonic but he just sort of eventually just sorta wakes up out of it. I don't really remember them doing anything SPECIAL SMELLING SALTS. The right that seek bounces around the room. That's right they should have just shot them with adrenaline. Like pulp fiction for the kid does it. Does it look like I have dead. Hedgehog storage on from long. Yeah because different parts of pulp fiction. What's fun could've meshed it? You've sandbagging me. Do Sandbags your entire. Podcast I'm not going to stand for it. Being up he wakes up and Matty's niece gives him his iconic red shoes and they tie up my sister and steeler car and they for some reason let sonic drive the car and to the TRANSAMERICA building and sneak onto the roof using some hijinks cooing Tom. Waving his his badge. Around as if that's going to get him anywhere in San Francisco but for some reason does and they're able to grab the rings off the roof just as robotic shows up with his drones so sonic kicks and Tom off the building and he's one of his rings is in the back the Green Hills and then we pick back up where he where the beginning started and we see Sonic and robotic fighting in San Francisco and then through the use of a bunch of rings sonic jumps through a bunch of different locales Paris capable of China etc eventually winds up back in Green Hills where robotic essentially has sonic on the ropes about to finish them off. When Tom and the other townspeople come to Sonics Aid? Sorta like Was Spiderman is. That was that one every single movie Roman. You must have all of us. That's true that's but they said that's our sheriff in our. We're Blue Alien Guy Roy for the mall other for Spiderman. That's amazing spider. Man That C Thomas Howell with all the Afterwards that's the word one. Don't tell that to the people on twitter. For some reason they love them some amazing Spiderman. Yeah people got rose colored glasses or a lot of shitty comic book movies. Do THEY DO So sonic then eventually goes electric again manages kick robotic through a portal into the mushroom planet. And that's the end of robotic he gets sent there and the portal closes and then they celebrate sonic. I think this is where sonic does he floss again. Believe later. Oh is it when they reveal his new his attic apartment. All that's right that's right. Yeah Dallas the most realistic moment of showing that he's like a teenager sorta because as I said I have I leases around the no eight thirteen and they will just randomly break into some dance just while standing there and you're talking to them more. You know your your cooking dinner something you just turn around. They'll just be dancing for no reason So him just breaking out that flaws because he got the The new crib Was like Oh. Yeah that I've seen a million times that's absolutely with somebody in this generation would do. The weight of the world has been crushed them yet. That's why they can dance whenever they want more. That's true yeah So he sort of gets adopted by Tom and Mattie and he decided they they decide to stay in green they move all sonic stuff into the attic and then the government shows up and gives them a an olive garden gift card to stay silent about the whole affair and the final closing of that joke. That's been throughout the movie. Yeah that's the that's the important joke got like. Oh we nailed it. Yeah and we skipped over. Tom had mentioned was that while they were painting. The house There was a slow piano version of the sonic the Hedgehog Song. I missed an opening credits. Yeah yeah real soft piano. Sorta ray if you weren't if you weren't lists like if you didn't know what the sonic music was. You've never noticed guide. You would've missed and Jenny. Got Up in my clapped when they played it. It was kind of embarrassed. 'cause all the other kids really did you sit down man crooning the movie. Bam insured by waited thirty years for this okay. I had to kind of cover my face a little bit but listen. She enjoyed it. That's all that matters yet. She's suddenly she ruined your Valentine's Day wouldn't be the first time God. That's that's it for Gen on this podcast selective in my life I think signing off forever and then we get an end. Credit scene includes tales coming to Earth. Find Sonic and then we get a robot. Nick Shaven his head on the Mushroom Planet. And just being like. I'm going to be home box Christmas yet turning turning into the robotic that everybody knows and the bigger picture moustache moustache and that's that sonic the Hedgehog I honestly think people in my theatre There was more of a reaction from people. Sitting around me from the adults entail showed up then. The kids was funny because the king where we saw. I think we were expecting it. Yeah you're either expecting tails or knuckles right. Yeah Yeah Yeah. I was saying plot wise if they were going. When I saw that there was a scene I was like. It's going to one of two people. They're either going to have tails. Come out. Which is the obvious choice if you're going to do a sequel which they're obviously going to do a sequel with how much money dismayed Or you're going to bring out someone like Amy rose have female has hug. You know for the You know I feel like nobody knows who amy rose is now do is that the chickey makes out with like the real human check. No that was I don't know if that's cannon anymore kissy human lady scattered. I've heard about governor amy. Roses a pink Hedgehog Take Pink Hedgehog does attic apartment and yeah. She's from Sonic CD. She's going to ask James Marston. And Tika Sumpter to just give him twenty minutes. Just don't don't cramp style please. If I have a ring on the outside of the door that means I'm busy and she's infatuated with with sonic Then she could bend the rules of time and space or something crazy like that right Yeah she has like a gigantic hammer or was there was a good death battle with her and What what's the what's the girl's name from? Scott Pilgrim NO FIONA FIONA Ramona. That's what it was remote from. They fought they fought each other. Because Ramona has a person has a she has a bag holding essentially. Yeah and then the same thing with the. What's The lady hedgehogs name? Ab Rose Eurozone she. Yeah she's able to bend continuity something. You're lines yeah. Her thing in the video games can triple jump. Who Like most women? I don't know if you know they're exactly yeah. It was like literally they ran out of powers I was like Oh this is like the fifth character. We've introduced God. She can jump real high. Yes was right. Can't a princess peach jump very high or she could glide or something. Yes yeah all. The girls get weird jumping powers. Yes kinda Kinda sexist. If he asked me I don't I don't agree with it guys. Luigia IS JUMPING HOURS TOO. So cares about the. Ouija it just kind of whatever known really cares. I guess I'd still love somebody's theory. That while the we we ju- just the same person. It's just a fight club situation that interesting so I was thinking about doing this. Pa- jen doesn't like the idea because it would mean she would have to do it. What if I 'cause played as robotic at the end? That COULD BE PRETTY COOL. It but who would she be? Amy Roz obviously Tika sumpter. A fix matty James Marsden. She could be James Morrison Gender Bench. James Mars just turned Dan on full yard. Went to sick from six to midnight. Scandal went from midnight to six women. Can't do I don't know if you know the female physiology nope but you're incapable of getting that way midnight. Yeah I don't either unless there's something I don't know anyway so the end of this movie What did you think of? It was a good ending? There was some pretty cool shots in this movie. I thought when when sonic goes super saying and you you have the Robotic ship in the background coming out of the the The rain and it's all black and red. It looked cool to me. There's a couple of cool shots but someone in this movie so masters of the universe before I think everybody saw it. It's a right of passage that movies too. Good I did you know I. It's a kids movie. I liked it as a kid movie as a regular movie I would not have enjoyed it but you go in thinking it is what it is and I think it was a good video game. Movie overall our mortal combat more but. I think it's probably my favorite video game movie I've ever seen up there. Aren't there aren't a whole lot of options? Honestly but JEN JEN's a big Mario Brothers Fan. The original Mario brothers she loves that star. There's only one. She likes their name. Mario Mario and Luigi Mario Reme- well. I just figured you were. I not very taboo to talk about Mario brothers and I just you know I figured it needs to be out there. You're weird. You're the one who looks Mario Brothers. I guess that's your Your Bay Mario who played Who Played Mario Hoskins? That's my day and and Dennis Lota whatever such a movie. So bad yeah. I agree with Tom. I haven't seen detective pitcher yet to see that but from everyone that express. You haven't seen that you are all about it you rely. I'm going first week. I kept trying to set up a time this disco Take my nieces. And they had all sports all weekend when I could do. And then it just went out of theaters in you know This was the only movie sonic I was like when I saw that terrible I charm obscene it opening weekend absolutely you know I was the opposite. I said as soon as soon as they said. Oh we're going to change the way it looks like okay. I'll go see it as soon as I can. I was. I was the only time I've ever been mad about missing out on a movie opening weekend that I was GonNa Jokingly go see was what I found out that they patched cats after the first week God damn it could spoil the terrible missing special effects thing and been part of that. You know situation. How much do they really change about that? Honestly some of the cats at human hands I think Dame Judi dench had like senior splotch fan. Yeah I had to make a special arrangement with JEN. Sees movie opening weekend? I had to agree to be on the game. Volt podcast to do it so she did not want to see moving at all. Yeah she as you can tell. It's it was very difficult to get her. Go see this man. We're doing this because you guys this. We're doing this because you guys have a video game. Podcast agenda covered erects. I mean that movie is not going anywhere. It's still there. Yeah the Yeah this This movie I I don't know it's one of those things. Where with the release date? I don't know if they had like a list of dates and some person in marketing went. Yeah let's do the joke date of Valentine's Day you know you're just like they need four months to do to extend everything this was very much like they would have put it out in the mid to late March. Just get it and Q. On I I just think I feel like if they did that now. Let's do Valentine's they would've done like a dead pool. Esq marketing campaign. So that's the joke calling calling attention to the joke. Is THE JOKE THEM. Just being like all right we'll for the fourteenth of February is coming out with. That's not a joke. We'll stay. Listen to this podcast. They probably would have done that. It probably is probably more to do with President's Day weekend. Yeah Yeah you get the four day box sense. Yeah what do you guys do to make this better? Jan? What would you have done? We were talking about it earlier. maybe I feel like the whole James Martin was a terrorist and all of sudden. Just kidding everything's fine like I feel like for kids movie. Obviously they're not gonNA button up everything like that but maybe if they could have showed showed how they undid that a little bit. I don't know that was something that just goes on. Trial Scoop pointed a terrorist need or even lake when the government shows up. And they're like hey just letting you know we've pulled some strings and I don't even know that was just like stood out like a sore thumb to me Other than that maybe just thrown in a couple more Easter eggs. You guys were pointing out a lot more than what I noticed so maybe it just because I know nothing about sonic but I don't know I feel like I wouldn't really ask for much to change because it was a good kids movie you know. Yeah Tom What about you? Trying to think like like Jensen. There actually are a lot more Easter eggs in that than I even talked about. I think he actually eats Chili dog at some point. Yeah right yeah yeah marks. Is it considering? It's a kids movie. You don't really have to Repti- everything like that but I feel like the government people. Finding the robotic is like a crazy person that could have added something like that in 'cause they kinda just because just show like they don't they don't realize he's a bad guy. I don't know it's pretty obvious that he is. I know but it's just like why would government call on this guy? He's a has a song in his is van. Or whatever that said evil playlist or whatever it's The the breaker it says Evil Lab on. Ya Yeah the. Us government isn't privy to a lot of things they make mistakes. Yeah but I feel like they didn't overdo sonic as much as as dumb as it sounds. Because you could very easily overdue a character when it's based around them But they didn't like go over the edge with sonic. They didn't make him. I feel like once also once they changed the way he looked before hand before the movie came out it. Probably ease the lot that that. That Attention to people weren't looking for that. That's true anything else now. I Yeah I don't I wouldn't change a whole lot just just a little little more story of why robotic is bad instead of just he's bad Yeah yeah there's not there's not much I would have Changed Either Short of their parts in the story. I being an adult. I would want to dive into a little bit more on. We've mentioned most of them I would like to see neal. Mcdonald's character a little bit more As like some type of FOIL TO ROBOT. Nick not not in terms of a like every so often you know they try and do something and robotic stops the more you know cuts off like. Sorta more thing between them one side While they're in Green Hills would have been nice just and because I think it was completely under used to having him in this movie Yeah there's not even really any casting stuff I think. Ben Schwartz was fine I think they had to. I think he did a good job and they did a good job. Actually giving sonic more of a backstory in terms of his personality. That I've seen in any of the other media I've seen of sonic where they just show. How lonely he is You know because he's got to stay in hiding so he makes up these fake friendships and gives them nicknames in watches movies with them. You know you know go goes in does all the stuff. But he's not you know completely gung Ho sums up. Sonic like he knows when the baseball playoffs are and you know. He's like a part of the town but nobody knows about it and they sorta I thought they played into that more than I thought they would. especially being a kids movie You know in that sense That was good at that would have been. You know something I would have explored if they didn't maybe show another sign of You know anything else from a little bit more sonic lower. You know maybe maybe have I don't even know what to do. maybe when he no no no no meaning of my sentence with the Baby when he gets to read choosy runs faster. That could have been something but Yeah they'd have to do much really perfect kids movie. I think they're going to completely overdo it in the sequel but also say it like it's going to have knuckles in. It's going to have tails and you know it's GonNa be way overdone because false and go. He's going to do the With the other dance called the bring back the dougie. They're gonNA they're just gonNa keep going backwards. That's yeah was it the Milly Walker something like that You're asking the wrong. You know there was a there was a there was another Charleston a monkey. That's it that's what it was the charts. He's going to do the Charleston on top of the Empire State Building Booking. I wouldn't do anything to make this better. This movie is not for me. So I'M GONNA I'M GONNA bother. It's fine some people probably love it not for me I guess. I don't say what I want to say. So you say whatever you want it myself I guess okay so good. One amid eight eighty seven by the way he warned you get a real friend so close I the only thing I'd change is sonic steals James Marston. Wife and Parsons like cool with it. Listen I I can't say I'm on board with this. Goddamn do I respect you? I mean street trigger. Well Read Sonic. It is twenty twenty We can have open relationships. Yeah that'd be interesting. If we turned the Apollo relationship in this movie we can. We can definitely be a throw people but but then size just goes no dude. This is like a AV conversation. So see your way out of it. He just kind of like slowly phases. Marsden out of the whole relationship at the end of the movie. And he's he just. He sends him on a one way ticket to somewhere. I don't know some crazy location with one of the rings weightless amendment. We should go on vacation together. And he dislike throws the ring. Like oh I just gotta get something. I'll be right back and he just shoves him into the ring. Doctor strange style discharges right like the Arctic and the last scene is just Marcin screaming saw and then Marsden turns into robotic. That'd be great. If if if Marsden robotic the whole time but they were friends and an apology relationship with their wife and then sonic phases. Marsden out of the three people lockney becomes the robot. Nick we we know and love. I think we did it again. I is we do this every week. Of course like this this movie like the sequel would be probably a robotic versus sonic but the first movie would obviously have to have very hardcore sex scenes. Yeah yeah it would be. You know very out. He goes out stops. Crime back to the Attic for Penetration Crime Penetration Crime Penetration and this goes on. For Ninety minutes cured the sixties are really drawn out like body of evidence and the Sun at Sonic. Never got the redesigned. So he's got those human teeth and now he looks for some reason. You draw you just. You stepped over the line. They're just bearing as orgasms an Schwartz voice. Terrible just terrible. That's that's the Gen is cringing right. Now I'm regretting so many of my choices today just now actually being on the podcast seeing the movie marrying Dan ever meaning any of us. It's a Cornucopia of regret. You're sure you want him on our podcast. Right Nice Guy. Why why would we want a nice guy gets very? I guess. That's that's going to wrap it up. You guys want to plug the game vault. Podcast sure we are on all social media stuff at game. Ball pod on twitter at Game Vol podcast on Instagram You can find our actual podcast on all your favorite podcasting APPS I on I tunes Google. Play all those We also stream a few times a week every other Monday. We stream are Retro Roulette Game. Which is our retro game. We pick at random from my shelf And Thursdays is kind of grab bag. So we're still trying to figure out who wants to play. What win so this will go up on Thursday morning so that should be the next one that streams yup should be streaming tonight then Most likely be marker Jenny but We'll figure that out The twitch channel is twitch DOT TV slash the game ball podcast. Because I couldn't get anything to match so it's all different Dan You had some plugs this week right. Did I wanted to plug a good friend of ours. Tia from a Geek Vibes nation and her top ten so make sure to check out the top ten with Tia. A weekly podcast. Tia and her crew. Tackle a number of entertaining topics like the top ten movies of the year. Top Ten worst on-screen couples like Jeremy Renner. And whoever he's with damn do me like that. This podcast has it all so do not miss out once again. Topped with Tia. A weekly podcast. They're good people She's very lovely. I enjoy speaking with her. We do We do a podcast together every now and then for Geek Vibes Nation nation so Yeah give them give them a look. See that's on the invites nation streaming correct. Yeah that a visit VIBES NATION DOT com. You'll find a generation dot com. Jv NATION DOT com better. Why why is it? Gv Nation? Why not just that's neither here nor there But and then you can find me and all my awesome eight hundred like tweets. Adia quite a one twenty two. It's really sad that the tweet that got the most likes is Harley Quinn floating. That's so sad in the future when we had when we could put gifts on tombstones. That's GonNa be that's GonNa Be Yours. I would've deserved it. That's something I really took effort to to put on there and it's that's that's what I'll be remembered as complex stranger dame's as well Marcia Well up a plugged. The the Stranger Dini's twitter at Stranger Damian and the instagram same thing stranger demonize for all the Awesome tweets awesome artwork. So if you have any artwork or if you WANNA talk to us just. Dms HIT US up. We'll be more than happy to speak with you. Guessing police and there were some artwork at Jen's running out of things that you're all wheel. It's up some things from the community here so we lose over mark you WanNa plug your new stranger damage project yet. He has so yes so. I'm doing the probably insane thing because you know I don't have anything else to do On top of editing in posting stranger Davies every Wednesday We're coming up on the session that gets into episode one hundred Lots of crazy stuff happened over the next month year but I've also started a wicky. Ah for strangers. Amy's it's stranger daime. Is I believe that. Fandom DOT COM yes. I'm Ron Burgundy so right now I just did basic stuff just to kind of fill the pages. So that the to`real stop bothering me So if you WANNA go and add stuff in there feel free I I gotta make separate pages for each of you Meaning the The Wild stallions themselves. So if somebody was going to do that for me on the community feel free but late now very basic so hopefully by I would imagine the end of the month. It might look a little better so Beyond lookout for that. I think it's Stranger. Dash Jamie's DOT COM DOT COM So Yeah yes. I've been working on that We're just trying to do some new things with the Stranger Day stuff to get the community you know the more involved you know we get you guys Could you as such great questions for talking to strangers That that we thought we need to do little more for you. Genuinely think plug nope. Your Twitter Unites Twitter. I don't use twitter that much. Well I have a twitter that I look at it sometimes. It's Jenny underscore underscore Wino- I mean Tom already mentioned it. But if you're in the mood to watch video games we're going to be streaming quite a bit so go on twitch and find the game ball podcasts and check us out if you would imagine if you guys have any the listeners if you have any games that you want to see streamed. I'm sure you guys would be more than happy to accommodate them. Yeah I think we're always up first editions. Any kind of feedback. Interaction really is welcome. Okay that's going to wrap it up and let's mark. Had someone last thing he wanted to try and squeeze in there. Nobody's agreeing begin. Oh okay I agree with you to Jen Anthony. All right. That's John. Tom Getting Dan disagrees. Engines looked at me. So that's that's going to wrap it up for this week. This has been they calls movie. You can find us on all podcast streaming APPs at. They call this movie just search. They knew each pop right up. We're on Google play. Podcast bronze spotify stitcher. Itunes overcast wherever you get your podcast. We should surely be on there. We're the main naming DOT com. You can find us on twitter. Facebook instagram all just searching the main daime and we're all started geek. Violation has Dan had mentioned You can find the nation not comment on all social media facebook instagram and twitter at Geek Vibes nation. There and again anywhere. You could get your podcasts. They're there to search Geek Vibes nation. They've got us. They've got strange. Amy's they got a bunch of shows that we don't even have anything to do with but they're all great shows regardless of Dan not being on there and his eight hundred eighty eight. Like tweet live So that's I'm at at Antioch. You could find me their twitter. We would love if you can go on to I tunes and give us a review rating reviews. They call this movie that helps us get seen. I know every podcast basically says that and it is true. The Algorithm is fucked. Yes they whatever you want. Just make sure you give us five starts review. That's all I care about. Say were great. Say we suck. We'll give five stars if you have any questions comments. You want to suggest a movie to US You could reaches at the main Damian gmail.com and that's that's GonNa wrap us up so I want to thank our guest today. Jen and Tom for joining us for this episode as well as am I Loyal podcast hosts Dan and mark and this has been sonic the Hedgehog so the director of Sonic. The HEDGEHOG is one of Mr Jeff Fowler's so for Dan Mark Jen and Tom. This is Anthony. Delvecchio telling Jeff Valor to go fuck himself.

Sonic Sheriff Tom Dan James Marsden San Francisco James Marston Tika Sumpter Mattie Jim Carrey twitter Adam pally Jim Carey James Marston Ben Schwartz Mark Myers Hollywood Tom Schuster Twenty twenty Jenny
Spring Books 2020

Call Your Girlfriend

44:36 min | 8 months ago

Spring Books 2020

"Hey all I want to tell you about the new podcast. You should check out. It's a really special show for modern women of color. The sugars hosted by TIKA sumpter. You might know her as a model or from her hit show mixed or one of her other movie roles and her co host Tire Randolph. Who's an award-winning business? Exac and one of the heads of Kevin Hart's ll network every week. He can tie invite a woman of color to talk about their unique perspective on. Motherhood love friendship and everything in between the sugar is made four and by the modern Brown Mama. They wanted to make a safe space for all women moms moms to be and those undecided to laugh. Learn and love on each other as they navigate life. Listen to the sugar now in your favorite podcast APP and make sure to subscribe and favorite. Eileen Fisher designed simple close to make your life easier timeless pieces and high quality materials that are responsibly sourced for less impact on the environment and a more positive impact in the world visit. Eileen Fisher Dot com and use offer code girlfriend to receive twenty five dollars off of your hundred dollar purchase. That's Eileen Fisher dot com offer code girlfriend for twenty five dollars off. Welcome to call your girlfriend. A podcast for long distance besties everywhere. I'm an I'm an Friedman. We really wanted to take some time on the show this week and probably in the coming weeks to highlight authors. Who have books out who might not go on book tour? We say fun now. What a perfect moment for books truly a time. Not that everybody has more time in this moment but certainly in moments of feeling more isolated than normal I am always grateful to have a book at hand and so there is there sort of a dual benefit of like yes being able to highlight great work by great authors who are maybe not getting all the opportunities they otherwise would in this moment and also talking about some things that we are reading as we hold up in our homes right and I think also just thinking about the you know. The win win of this moment is that we get to read books by authors that we love we want to highlight them so that their books kept bought but also we want to highlight our India bookstores. That need our help right now and so. I think that there is truly a win win. Win All around here If everyone plays their part and I have been really really really really lucky that my local bookstore is still shipping books. And so it's nice you know so I would encourage everyone to really look at the indy near them or choose an Indian the country that you want to support. And that's where you should be buying your books from right now. Yeah one thing that I have been doing is sending a couple extra books to my friends with kids from an Indie bookstore that is close to them to spread it around a little. Because I'm like who needs who needs more entertainment options right now. The answer is children and people taking care of them. So that's one thing that I have been doing. I have also been really. I mean I'm always a fan of the Libya which is the public libraries digital access point. But I also just want to shout out to that because if you do not have the means to be buying a bunch of new books in this moment it is also a good time to request things digitally to get yourself in the queue. Things you want to read and to really take advantage of how great libraries really are offering audiobooks and digital books. I love it. I really hate this moment but I really I am really deeply appreciative of the reading community. Absolutely speaking of which did you talk to this week. And I talk to Beth cowb- who is truly truly truly by far one of my favorite human beings on twitter. All of her jokes are. Ll funny she is really smart. And someone who always brings me a lot of joy. Sarah when her book landed on On my bedside table I was very excited to read it. It's called nobody will tell you this. Me Best is an emmy nominated writer for Jimmy. Kimmel live she. You know like is if you read her tweets like can already tell she's very good writer. She's really funny but this book it is like truly and one of the best things I've read in the past I would say year. Beth writes about basically writes about her relationship with her grandmother. I don't read a lot about grandmother. Granddaughter Narratives so I appreciated that and also you will love this because we write a book that tried to tackle this so the book is written in the Voice of her grandmother speaking to her. And so it's a true as toll to best story and the mechanics of it all our so fascinating to me. I think it's really well done. The story itself is both like laugh out loud funny and moments an so so-so so so so deeply sweet and tender and others. It'll really make you. WanNa call your grandma. My Name is best CAL and my book is. Nobody will tell you this but me high risk how. Hello how're you doing over there? I am thriving in an times off but we we have to laugh. We don't cry totally. That's that's that's honestly it's my it's my motto. It's my profession and it's now my survival Skill but yeah. It's it's so hard to get over the default like I'm good. How are you took this to break that an American? This being corona. Yeah in case you live on another planet and you're listening to this show That's what we're dealing with on this planet and do you have room or a way to get there. Would you go somewhere else? If they when they start doing space tourism. I personally will not go. I'm like I am happy to stay here. I'm happy for someone else to do. The exploring I have no desire to go to space. I would be happy to live in the trash planet. That's me I'm fine my little green shrub and I'd like to hang out and watch. Hello Dolly. It would be fine. Well listen. I was super excited to talk to you because your book is very good man. Thank you for saying that you know so much of it is about your relationship with your grandmother who was like an iconic human being. I think really understanding you know. I think the reason that it's so much is that I think that in my own experience of reading about a lot of kinds of about a lot of different kinds of love stories in different ways that women can relate to each other. I don't remember the last time that I had read anything that was about someone talking about the relationship with her grandmother. Yea I found. I didn't realize that there would be something radical about just talking about a regular woman and And the way that she helped raise women. It feels like the literature especially of like this kind of like Jewish Philip. Roth Saul bellow these men who made their mundane realities literature but Jewish women. Kinda aren't allowed in that Canon. It's not like worthy of the same kind of like paper and space so I felt like this is just my life. This is the woman who helped raise me and I wanted commit her to the pages if she mattered and it's really nice to hear that she matter to you. You make a really interesting choice like writing in the voice of your grandmother and so. I'm just curious if you could talk more about deciding to do that. All searches the. How does that feel to rate in the voice of someone that you knew so much? I actually started writing in the voice of my grandma three days after she died in two thousand seventeen when I was tasked with delivering her Eulogy At her funeral. And I like I started and scraps four or five different drafts that seem kind of Highfalutin nor trait or cliche in talking about death and talking about the departure of a loved one I find that like language suddenly becomes very formal and very wrote and there was no way to really express how I was feeling about her so at two in the morning the night before her funeral I just started writing her what she would say at her funeral joking about how Jewish everyone was all of a sudden she. We look at what we're wearing and she would not approve of what. I was wearing and the whole the whole life that had just disappeared off the face of the earth was all of a sudden very present again and so for me. Writing in her voice was both a way to communicate her story accurately and also an exercise in reconnection with someone who I had lost so it was this therapeutic experience to write and I'm so glad that it's becoming a therapeutic experience for people to read. It's now just sort of literary group therapy and it's cheaper than real therapy. We don't have very good conversations about grief in general when someone dies. You're supposed to like go hide away and then when society is ready for a year like everyone will pretend that nothing happens at your not in pay a and. I think that you know the fact that you right and just this like really clear I voice and you know it's funny and it's sad and as much as you are really shining a light on the kinds of relationships that women have with each other. There's also something about the fact that young people are not good about talking about their grief and this is a really good entry point into that conversation. Well thank you and also. I didn't have the tools to express how I was feeling at the time. In fact like the moment that I find out that I lost one of the loves of my life. My Grandma Is is in the book. it came after. I was Paddle Boarding Outside of an AIRBNB and And I have amazing center which is like the most millennial activity to do and I'm also not like an athlete. I was not paddle boarding well. It wasn't like I was. I was sort of like Hawaiian surfer. I'm just like an ungainly Jew wearing. Spf Fifty Turtleneck is is on and it was just the sort of like indignity of situation and And then hearing that. My Grandmother had died hours before. I was that and then picturing myself doing that while my grandmother was dead. Not Knowing I just made me feel it as idiotic is as I looked I remember one of my first reactions was to text one of my best friends in my former writing buddy at at Kimmel. I texted my friend. Jeff loudness my grandma died and he knew how close we were. He had actually been on speakerphone when she would call. And I was at work and I would start laughing. And then he would. He would make emotion. I would put her on speakerphone because nobody would believe what she would say. They actually heard her and I just saw his like three dots appear and disappear a few times like in the phone and I remember thinking. Oh God I feel so bad for him because I just put this on him and there's no way to like whatever he's GonNa say. I already forgive and of course. He's an amazing human. So we actually had this beautiful empathetic and I remember feeling bad for him. Knowing how difficult it would be because I just put death on the table and it's sort of the silencer and in writing the book. It took me like two hundred something pages to say how it feels to lose someone because they think it doesn't have a script and it doesn't have the there's no rubric for like dealing with the bereaved. I think in taking you along the story of my life with my grandma as a reader you will understand how it feels for me to have lost her. It's like in order to really understand loss. You have to understand exactly what somebody meant. The person who lost and so. That's what this book does. What were the easiest parts to write and what were the hardest parts right Well I'm a comedy writer by trade and I write jokes every day. So writing the funny parts writing the dialogue was definitely the easiest part for me. Because it's it's second nature and it's like my my well sharpened tool and it's also very easy to write for a character that that you know really well that I can almost plug and play my grandma into any situation and I could know how she would react. There's it's like I feel sometimes like an a I bought like I have the full algorithm of my grandma in my head like I've listened to her. I could like churn out her reaction to something that she'd never experienced and so that ended up being. I wouldn't say easy definitely like second nature part And then the part that I resisted and even like told my editor at the beginning I was like maybe it could just be a funny book. like lots of dialogue and voicemails right and she was like no. You have to dig deeper and I think the hardest part for me was writing the last section of the book After me because it imagine my grandma's voice knowing she was dead and so it's it was her grappling with her own loss while talking to me about it while joking throughout and so it was like it took a lot of dissociation and like projecting in a way that would leave me feeling kind of rattled at the end of the day but even though it was hard emotional work. I think I'm glad I did. It made for a better book and it also made me cope better with my own grief. I'm just getting really emotional. Because I think he wrote a really lovely love story before we go. What else are you reading right now? Oh Man I had to really change my My Kyun with with books. Four days ago and The world ended right or you are not reading Severino. I'm not an amazing book vary apocalypse. I am working my way through topics of conversation which I love I. I think that's a really ingenious narrative tool to use to write. I read three books at once. Depending on what I'm feeling there's usually like a nonfiction and rotation a novel and a pilot. Light slow burn of Atlanta Friend Day. There's always like a my brilliant friend for when I need to fall asleep. That's my Melatonin and ZANEX. Now that I'm breastfeeding and can't really take either of those and I just got Gary Gianetti's book which I I love. I think he's very funny. The book do you mind if I cancel. I have on reading pile somewhere but I On Your recommendation I will move it to the top of the by yeah. It's pretty funny. He's definitely as funny as he is on Instagram. As a as a writer funny writing is really hard. Yeah you can always tell if the person is trying too hard which is always my fear with people who say that. They're comedians. I'm always like oh no ono. What is this going to do and And then some people like you just do it and so I was like maybe one day you can teach dot secret sauce. I don't know I'm I'm a fraud. I'm writing in the voice of a character so it's like I think it's much harder for someone like the greats like David Sedaris to just be funny as himself and in his own voice like I hide behind a man character Jimmy Kimmel when I'm writing jokes for TV. And I had my grandma when I'm ready for books so I don't I don't know I don't know if I can actually be funny writer if they're just like your best cow here's microphone go. I have full confidence in you but now I'm convinced that maybe David Sedaris has just writing a character. That's Davidson feel better. Well David Sedaris is lovely. You are a lovely human. Thank you for writing a great book and You know. I know that it feels like the apocalypse right now but I think your book is actually very of right now because I'm trying to focus on people instead of focusing on issues and so I think that alone something. That really just helps you to like mine. Your feelings about relationships in your life is We probably need that during Current virus thanks. Yeah if nothing else. I hope this encourages people to call their grandma while my good grandma is dead and my bad grandma is still alive. But when I'm finished reading your I was like should I call the bag grandma? And then she did and then she did a bad thing and it was very firm. Mom doesn't have to be as little as that just like examined the connections people. You love totally best. Thank you so much. I hope you have a great rest of the week. And where can we find your work? Oh you can find my book wherever books were sold on. Indie Band is where I suggest you buy it. Support local bookstores. Keep their lights on. This is a really tough time for them on my website. Best COWB- dot Com. You can see everywhere to buy the book as well as various online presences that I have and I just have to give a plug to your twitter account at best bell because it keeps me sane everyday so thanks for your tweets and it makes me insane to do not to Bass grandmothers everywhere. I know shout out to my gramma. Not a shout out to my grandma. Wow I I am going to go call grandma and Jules immediately thank you for this reminder in prompt and yeah. I cannot wait to read this book of love and ambitious narrative voice. Let's take a break. And Oh so. If you're anything like me you might be pondering a full closet. 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I am one of six change making women featured in I lean fishers. Good goes on campaign the spring the campaign highlights women empowering women the importance of sustainability and the power of good design. Eileen started in nineteen eighty-four with the idea that simple close can make life easier and after spending a day on set wearing a super comfortable ultra-chic trump suit. I think she's really onto something as a company. Eileen Fisher believes doing well by doing good and that's reflected in the way they're closer made timeless styles and quality materials that are responsibly sourced for less impact on the environment and a more positive impact on the world. It was a real honor to be featured in this campaign and meet the other women making a difference in their community. I've been a longtime Eileen Fisher fans. This was a dream. Come true for me. You can visit. Eileen Fisher Dot Com and use the offer code girlfriend to receive twenty five dollars off your hundred dollar purchase. That's Eileen Fisher dot com offer code girlfriend for twenty five dollars off. We're back from break. Who Did you talk to? I had a lovely conversation with the journalist. Essayist writer Jordan Kisner. Who has an essay collection out now called Finn places essays from in between and I had read some of her work in various magazines before picking up this book but there are a lot of themes uniting the essays in this book many of them are about religion and spirituality they are about being in a collective society and what that means and a lot of them are about like how we search for and make meaning with other humans and maybe this is sort of analytical brain? I really liked the idea of a big abstract concept that is then boiled down into these really specific stories so these essays are about like Raves for Jesus but also about like a naturally occurring forest phenomenon in Utah and being able to unite really distinct subjects with this kind of like underlying perspective about what it all means is I think one of the hallmarks of a great essay and so I really enjoyed this collection. It was also great for me in this moment because it was something I could kind of. Pick up and put down. I like having something in my reading rotation. I don't know if you're like this where it's either short stories or things that feel like. It's not one unbroken narrative. Right like I can kind of dip in and dip out. I need that at all times all times. Yes so here's Jordan. Talking about her essay collection my name is Jordan Kisner and I'm a writer of essays and magazine Features and most recently a book a collection of essays called thin places and my pronouns. Are She her Jordan? Thank you so much for being on the podcast thank you. I'm so excited to talk to you. So maybe an obvious number one question but what is a thin place? And why is this the idea that you chose to unite all the essays in this collection a thin places borrowed from a piece of Celtic mythology? I heard about it in an interview on a different podcast the being podcast with Krista Tippett. There is an aphorism in Celtic mythology. That says that the division between this world and the next world is never more than three feet. But that in the thin places it's even closer than that and the veil can can sort of drop between what we feel to be the world we know and the next world or the imagined world or the holy world depending on. What kind of descriptors are adjectives you wanNA use for it and I was very taken with this metaphor at the time? It's full of wonder and awe. Maybe there's an experience of wonder in awe also. It can be very frightening when people right in old stories about encounters with angels terrifying right like often when the next the next world or something we need to that we think of as very separate merge it can be amazing but it can be very frightening and I think that in the time that I was starting to work on this book I was having this experience feeling like there were a lot of things about myself in my life that I had thought were true that we're no longer true or things that I felt like I had been able to place total faith in that had been come apart and so I felt unmortgaged and a little terrified and a little odd by how quickly all that seemed to be happening. I started looking around for other people who seemed to have experienced also the disruption of an intrusion of a kind of loss of faith or a new world that was being visited upon them. You had said that like when you learn this term it sort of connected a couple of different things that you were already working on or had already written and I'm wondering about how you then move forward to find other things that evoked this feeling in you or that fit the theme. I was looking around and seeing that all over this country. There are models of people who are coping with the intrusion of some new reality onto a framework that they had thought was absolute so for example. I heard about these Mormon Women in Utah. Who were so upset by the trump election that led them to completely reassess their own relationship to what they thought their faith and their church was asking them to do politically and they decided to form this group. That was going to very politely. Overthrow the Utah State government and I saw elsewhere in California. Which is where I'm from this town. That had originally been a scene where we're movies had shot in like old. Hollywood the wild west. It's like the valley that we think of when we imagine the wild West has now been completely desiccated because the water was rerouted from a once very verdant valley to Los Angeles. And now it's the big one of the biggest dust bowls in the world and yet the people there persistent living in this new reality and so I started looking around for stories like that where people were kind of having to confront some evaporation of a solid truth if they thought was there and it turns out that in the United States right. Now there's a lot of that because we're in a time of political and social upheaval and so there are a lot of people who are having to really reexamined their what you might call secular fate systems that things. The really really believed true. I feel like this is sort of the perfect moment for us to talk about your essay about obsession in about obsessive compulsive disorder and the ideas that you raise in that essay about whether there are actually boundaries between ourselves and others. I'm wondering if you can talk a little bit. About how your own experiences with obsession kind of lead you to this essay and where you went from there sure. Of course. This is one of the first essays I worked on in this collection and I had just I if there was something about it that I needed to get out on paper and I couldn't figure out what it was and so I took me a long time to write it. I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder. When I was I think a young teenager may be fourteen or fifteen and the way that I experienced it at the time and still occasionally experiences. When it's troubling me is that I felt like I was having these thoughts. Pop into my head that we're very frightening and upsetting to me. And they didn't totally feel like my thoughts. It felt like someone dropped a thought bubble in that was from somewhere else in the ether at and I would think Oh Geez. Gosh where did that come from? And it was very frightening and so one of the reasons that it turned into obsessive compulsive disorder then sort of developed these ideas of okay. Well if I can rationally talk myself out if I can prove that. That thought isn't mine and I don't really think it and it's not true. Then then it'll be okay and so I would develop these sort of patterns of having to rationalize my way around this experience of having some kind of intrusive thought that didn't feel like mine and so in this essay. I researched the history of obsession and obsessive compulsive disorder and then more precisely to examine what we talk about when we talk about like our mind or our thoughts. What does it mean when there's when there's a a disorder or disease that can make you feel like their thoughts in your head that aren't yours and there are actually a number of mental illnesses? That are characterized by some experience. Like that and I. It got me really really fascinated about the way that we as a society. Try to draw distinctions between. What's you and what's not you and what's inside you and what's outside you and where to you and your mind and your body start and stop and I want to read a lot of really really interesting books and thinkers on that so for example I read. You'll abysses book on immunity. Which is a brilliant book that she wrote when she was trying to navigate the debates about whether or not to vaccinate children when her when she had a young child and she talks a lot about herd immunity. And the fact that it's often a it's a little bit of an illusion that we have that our bodies are sort of closed systems and I wanted to think about the way that sometimes our minds. Actually we want them to be closed. Systems. But they don't always feel like closed systems and sometimes that can manifest as an obsessive compulsive disorder experience and sometimes they can manifest as mirror neurons. Were falling in love with someone or that. We are much more porous creatures than than we are comfortable thinking we are right and then by the same token there is this very strong desire to feel that we are poorest creatures right. I mean we're in this moment of like intense physical separation from people and it has been really fascinating to me to watch pretty much. Everyone I know in care about try to very concertedly assert the fact that yes. We are physically separate but we are extremely connected mentally and emotionally. Yeah this is a really interesting time. Be I'm rereading eulogises? Book Right Now. And it's a really interesting time to be reconsidering how we conceive of ourselves as singular organisms and then as singular organisms that are part of a larger organism and right now of course because of this horrible cove nineteen and Corona virus outbreak. We're seeing in a really dark way the way that we are not that we are all very much part of a large connected organism physically and lake. You're saying it. I'm getting. I'm more having more phone calls with people I love and face timing more with people. I love that I ever do on a normal week. And so it's interesting to see either way that humanity tries to kind of calm compensate by up regulating the good and nourishing spiritual emotional ways in which we're all connected while we're also trying to combat and mitigate the sometimes damaging ways that we're all interconnected in these sort of physical immune related ways right and in fact know you have an essay later in the book about One of the ways this. They're sort of a I. Don't I hesitate to call the natural world a metaphor for this but the way this plays out in sort of the biological natural world as well in this forest in. Utah is that right. Yeah maybe you could talk a bit about that. Yeah this was another example of kind of looking around in the world and seeing a pattern seeing like a concept that I had been mulling on and finding it manifested in some really physical way so there is this tree. The the largest living organism is a is a tree. That is a stand of Aspen. So it's one tree but also thousands and thousands of trees which is kind of like a grove. Sorry yes so. A standard aspens means that they are all a single organism but it looks like a forest. So aspens are. Are this particular kind of Aspen or quaking. Aspen are all over North America and all over the world and one thing that's fascinating about them is that they share their roots. They have one connected root system that then manifests as a thousands and thousands of trees. So you look. It looks and feels like you're walking through a forest of many many different trees but in fact it's all one living thing and what is useful about that to the organism that one corner of the forest can burn down and the the resources of the tree will then be sent to making a whole bunch of new outcroppings new outgrowths elsewhere on the other side? That's not damaged and it's just an example of the way that this tension between the singular and the whole between the individual and the whole is not just a human thing. It's something we see merit in nature all over the place and I. I just kind of fell in love with this tree. It's names Pando. It's called Pando and it's incredibly old. It's like very. It's it's theoretically immortal. That's one of the things I thought was really cool. Is that because of the way that it functions because it is this. Gigantic collection of individual of individuals forming one large individual. It can in theory live forever because it can just keep sending up nutrients in new trees and new trees as as others die off. It's interesting that that seems not dissimilar from some of the language used by this new wave of like hip Evangelical Christians that you also write about. It feels very vodka for me even if my pretty traditionalist Catholic upbringing of like we are all one body or like we're all connected through God. Oh yeah definitely I mean. I think that the thing you might be referencing. Is that one of these. Churches I write about is an Evangelical Church that was founded in New York and they were as is often the model starting what they call planting. Actually they use tree and agriculture metaphors. They were planting other churches which is to say opening other smaller outposts of the same church all over the city and all over the world and the idea was that every one of them would have the same quote. Dna but kind of manifest in some new local context appropriate to its environment. I don't know I think that's a really common way. That humans like to organize by recognizing that there can be some kind of overarching order or connection while also admitting individuality I think that's a very comforting idea. And so you see you see it manifest all over the place if you start looking for it right and I think that's at the heart of just overall some of the appeal of religion as you write it any way your personal the way you've been personally drawn like moments when I am attracted to the idea of there being a god or when I feel closest to like a concept that many people describe as God. It's because of this moment of connection. I don't know maybe you could talk a little bit about that. Yeah so one of the experiences that drove this book was that when I was a kid. I was kind of accidentally sent to Bible camp. My parents were not religious. I was not raised in a religious household but they sent me to camp not quite understanding that it was Bible camp and I was converted Bible Camp and came home a born again Christian much to their surprise and it just made so much sense to me at the time as a vocab the vocabulary that Christianity as it was articulated to me then offered just made so much sense as a way of organizing and understanding what to me seemed the obvious luminosity of the world. I think I write in the book. I just naturally reverend and so I was very ready to be handed her a set of ideas and words and language to frame that and then I became. I just fell out of it as a teenager because I realized I decided to read the Bible and I realized that a lot of what the teachings were didn't didn't really work for me. I didn't really believe in it. And the kind of coming into faith and then coming. Back out of faith was frightening and upsetting at the time. I didn't like having having the experience of losing a way of understanding. The world was the first big time that that happened to me. At like maybe fourteen and that experience of having your world kind of changed by a new new way of understanding it and then having that understanding fall apart again felt like something that I as I got older saw repeat and repeat and repeat and I looked around and saw that happen to people who are religious and people who weren't religious. A you know there are a lot of ways in which you know sometimes for example the experience of being a healthy person who then becomes incredibly ill you know. Sante talks about us all having dual passports in the land of the the sick and the well and that can feel like a way of knowing the world then falls apart for you something. I am interested in and noticed while I was writing. This book is that people become very drawn in religion or in other ways and other avenues to organizing principles and particularly organizing principles. That as you're saying help you understand where you fit in relation to other people in humanity and some kind of sense of greater whole and sometimes that's cross fit and sometimes that's cleanses and Gupta sometimes that's church and and sometimes that's politics and I think that's really fertile ground for for writers and artists to look at where people are investing that that need and energy and finding community and figuring out where they belong. Jordan thank you so much for being on the podcast. Thank you so much for having me so so good to talk to you Jordan Kisner. That was amazing. I am really excited. Read this book one last plug for your local. Indie or library. Because you know I want them to have these books and I want us all to have these resources far into the future. Well here is what I picked up from The bookstore recently or got dilemma. Recently I reread. Wow No thank you. Sam Irby's book of faith. I have to say it really has made the pandemic go by faster so I cannot recommend it enough and Sam will be on C. Y. Very soon and I also finished reading but then went to listen to you and I'm really like annoyed at myself. I didn't think about just listening to it. I about the read was also incredible. Cameron ESPOSITO'S MEMOIR. Save yourself which is truly truly lovely. Cameron just has a knack for a lot of really powerful self reflection and thinking about all of the systems that you live within and and really analyzing your place in the world and so I just really appreciate it. I'm reading two things one work of nonfiction one work of fiction. The nonfiction book is called Glitter Dark. How pop music broke the binary which is by Sasha often? It's all about the ways that people of different sexual identities and gender expressions have really changed the way we listen to music and the music that is like mainstream and popular and I love like a again like as a dip in dip out like a music history book is plus plus because it is also changing what I listen to. I'm like going back to music that I was sort of familiar with and like hearing it in a new way. Thanks to this book so I love that. And the fiction. I'm reading is a Y. Novel called Look. By Pal of the PODCASTS ZAN Romanoff and say it is sort of in the style of Mary. H K choice emergency contact centered on digital communication. Or like the experience of how you portray yourself and others on the Internet through this. Like really very sweet and relatable story and I'm just like there is something so comforting to me about Reading Way. Reading really immersive waie novel in this moment as well. I'm just like I'm really at the end of my work day just relaxing into a couple chapters of. It feels incredible so too strong rex for you. That are out right now authors. That could definitely use your support. I love that and I love that era reader an I will say Oh my. Gosh I love your readers. Sorry I was like I love taking this like the biggest compliment ever like. I Oh thank you for calling me a reader. I'll see you on the Internet. Do see you on the Internet. You can find us many places on the Internet. Gopher DOT COM apple podcast spotify stitcher. Were all your favorite platforms. Subscribe Rate Review. You know the ground. Call us back. You can voice mail seven one four six eight one two nine four three seven one four once. You can email out call. Why are we have our team? Song is by Robin ritual. Music Lewis Carolyn. We're on instagram and twitter. Our associate producer is Jordan. Bailey podcast is produced by Jean Delvaux.

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