38 Burst results for "oprah winfrey"
Fresh update on "oprah winfrey" discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"Were arrested. And what was that like. They they Woke us up. What happened was David went to work that morning and he was arrested around the corner from our house. And i was at home sleeping in davie was sleeping in. My mother-in-law was when she was sleeping at that time it was early in the morning about six thirty and what they did was when they brought arrested. David female from the police station called david's boss at work and she impersonated being me. she said. hello. Ron this is cindy david's going to be a little bit late. He's running late this morning. So what happened was ran called me at about seven seven fifteen and oak me up and he said he said cindy. Where's david and we. You know we're waiting for him here at the shop and i said well run. He went to work. He's not here he says well. Didn't you just call me. And i says no ronnie didn't i thought he had been kidnapped Or or just heard something had happened to him now and What what what what it was was. It was the plan from a ploy from the police to get david in In in custody and talk with him separately from you from me And what they did was the. I called my attorney right away. After i hung up with ron and the next thing we knew the police read our door. Met my at my house. Were there to arrest me. And what does that feel like. Well it was horrible. I was i just remember. I can remember from that is i was on the my mother-in-law let them in and I was still on the phone with the lawyer. I was just shaking. The phone and i was trembling. And he said don't say anything and just go with them and will be there in twenty minutes. What did they say to you. You're under arrest for the murder of your daughter But those are hard words to hear in a way. We expect it because attorneys tried to prepare for it. But i don't think there's any way you can ever prepare yourself to be arrested for a crime like that so we you know while he prepares us for it on one hand. We really weren't prepared and we really weren't expecting to happen. David wallaby eighteen months in prison having been convicted of that murder. Obviously he was released. We'll find out how that happened. But when you're standing. Before the i mean. I'm sure that when you went through the trial let's get to the trial. The jury comes back. Did you think that they were going to find you. Innocent if you try to put yourself my sousa you try to read their faces desperately because you can't wait another second What i saw was tired looking faces and they didn't look very happy and kind of scared me but it's impossible to read read into what i try to read the his face because he read it before he read it out loud when it was read any. I just went into soccer. I don't really remember much after that. When i heard guilty i just i couldn't believe it. You know with the evidence that was in court. I was convinced that there's no way i could be convicted. I was even shocked that it went to trial to begin with who so it was a shock and also because the charges against cynthia had been dropped. Did you feel good. Sign several days a couple of days. I should say before. I was convicted. Cindy's charges were dropped. And i was extremely happy because you know i can handle going to prison if i have to but to see my wife in prison would've just tore me up. I don't know if i could have dealt with it. So that relieved took a lot of pressure off me. And so as i recall you said oh my god no. I don't know. I didn't say that somebody else did. I didn't say anything. I don't think you could be wrong. You can't go into a sack at a point like that. But i heard a lot of Emotional screaming out from the from the audience on there in In fact the judge told them everyone be quiet not to shout out any anymore but inside. I'm certainly was screaming. That i was looking at the jurors with i remember taking my head like how. How can you do a semi. Were you awake during this trial. And what went on in the deliberation room that i didn't see her that none of us saw so well you know. We spoke to one of the jurors now. None of them wanted to be on today and they said the one we spoke to said it was difficult to get. It's difficult to get twelve people to agree to anything even to agree that the sky is blue. This particular juror had said and that they all sat in a room and all had decided that you were indeed guilty and this juror. We spoken to said that that this whole trial has left a very bitter taste in their mouth. As a result of what has happened now being released does any of that concern you at all. Why believe in our appellate system. I don't necessarily believe in our jury system and you can't blame me. I think twelve people. I don't blame the jurors. And i'm not bitter at them because you know. I think that they were persuaded by the prosecutors and by the police and they were misled. They were misled to believe that the evidence before him was evidence. And it wasn't and and What do you think was the evidence that put you behind bars at the time while cindy was released on the window seal. No i don't think so. I think it was An eyewitness or a nose. Witnesses say a witness who claimed to have seen my no structure and in fact he didn't say some no structures said he saw no structure and when he looked at a p five pictures of five different people. I was one of them. He said that my nose was most similar to the no structure. He saw keep in mind. This was seventy five yards away at night and day later took the jurors there did they not entr- to reconstruct the scene and and couldn't even identify dumpster. Seventy five yards away. I have to believe that that was the only difference because the judge had allowed cindy's case to be thrown out and he kept mine and that was the only difference between the evidence between cindy's case in my case. What was that first night behind bars. Light the first night behind bars. A i didn't get i think i went into three and afternoon. Finally at eleven thirty. I went through this big process What was a lot of inmates. Were screaming at me. Because they knew who i was and It wasn't positive screams at all so it was kind of scary. You know not knowing where. I'm going and you know everything that you hear. Allow prison what it's like inside their it scares you scared me But you know. I was very depressed on. I think i cried through the night you doing well. I had a similar experience when I had a green jacket with me that apparently set off Something to notice. Because when i was They were bringing me to sell vividly. Remember this People that were locked up in their cellblock reaching their arms out at me. And i was from each side and i was about it. Seemed like i was an inch or two away from their hands. It just trying to get a hold of me calling me Killer and all kinds of names and so what they had to end up finally doing. I stopped my hand on the guard shoulder. And i said you've got to get me outta here. I'm not. I'm not safe and what happened was she said. There's nothing i can do for you. And she put me in a cell in but then within fifteen minutes later they had come back and then they put me in isolation where. I was safe away from eighteen months behind bars. What did.
Prince Philip's Coffin Is Lowered Into the Royal Vault
"Bands and a royal procession. Britain's Prince Philip, who died earlier this month, was laid to rest at Windsor Castle, his coffin lowered into the royal vault. Prince Philip's coffin was delivered to church on an unusual hearse, especially modified Land Rover designed by the prince himself. His four Children walked behind the hearse, along with Princes William and Harry, the queen traveled by car. The funeral service reflected Phillips military connections, while the dean of Windsor leading the ceremony said Britain had bean enriched by Phillips, Courage, fortitude and face faxes. Simon Ellen as the family filed out of ST George's Chapel, Prince Harry was seen talking with his brother, Prince William. Relationship severely strained following Oprah Winfrey's bombshell interview with Harry and his wife, Meghan,
Fresh update on "oprah winfrey" discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"Twenty five seasons four thousand five hundred sixty one episodes. I believe the oprah winfrey show was one of the greatest classrooms in the world Rolling never thought of it that way. The moments the breakthroughs the l. o. Ell's the connections the occasional ugly cry. I missing so terribly. I missed every single minute. The moments that matter i opening light lessons never allow them to take you somewhere else. I'm bringing them back. It's time to open the ball. I personally chosen these classic episodes to share with you again. Every single person you ever will meet shares that common desire. They want to know. Do you see me. do you hear me. That's what i say mean anything to you. You're listening to the oprah winfrey. Show the podcast. The two couples. You're gonna meet today at both live not one nightmare but to the i was discovering that her child had been murdered and the second was being put on trial for that murder. My first couple couple story is a real life. Murder mystery complete with all the twists and turns. We'll try to keep it straight for you. Today here is their story. The tragic story began on september tenth in nineteen eighty eight. When cynthia and david douala be reported their seven year. Old daughter jacqueline missing. The couple claimed that jacqueline was a victim of an intruder who broke in through a basement window and snatched the sleeping child from her bed in the family's home four days later this. Grisly scene confirmed the family's worst fears when a dead body was found in this nearby field. We're looking for somebody that was brutal enough to murder a beautiful seven year old kid. Two months later. Cynthia and david wallaby were indicted on murder charges but when the case came to trial a judge dropped the charges against scindia for lack of evidence but just two days later a jury of twelve found david wallaby guilty in the murder of his daughter. Jacqueline despite protests from friends and neighbors david sentenced to forty five years in prison. A year later jacqueline's murder investigation took another dramatic turn when an illinois appeals court overruled. David's guilty verdict after eighteen months in prison david. Duality was freed but four years after her death. The question remains who did kill. Jacqueline do wallaby and do all of these ordeal is now. The subject of a new book entitled gone in the night by david protests and rob warden. Today marks the first joint interview with the couple. Please welcome david and cynthia to wallaby to the show. Cynthia was saying to me doing that. Taped piece that it's still very hard to hear It's had that it happened to us. it's hard to believe that we survived this and what we want. Now is To find jacqueline's color Does the lat the last time you saw jacqueline alive while she was in her bed and she was Looking through christmas wish book because earlier that night She had Christmas on her mind because she was going to close and our family was over in her Her christmas dress was getting too small on her and so she offered it to her cousin who is younger than her. And then then when she went to bed she if she could look the christmas wish book and so she was and then Did you tucker in or did you took her in. No i'd gone on at night. And by the time i come home. She was in her better. But that's the last time you saw her when she went to bed. After looking at christmas wish last time i saw her was was. I checked on her later that night in last semester hers when she was asleep in her bed. So what do you think happened sometime between you know during that night of september ninth. Well it's hard to theorize because the you know When we walk up in the morning. Jackson was gone and How she was gone. You know there's one obvious entrance There was a broken window in our basement. So that that stuck out as the most obvious point Where an intruder came in the house because We're she's ruined relation to the basement. It was immediately above the window so the broken window was directly below her bedroom and There was We had a sliding glass door and we hit a back door and Front door and But those were up the back door and the front and the sliding glass door would never fingerprinted by the police And so you're wakened in the morning and you discovered that your child is gone. Who discovered it. Well it's not like a typical saturday morning. I woke up on my son. David who was four at the time and he insisted that i forget them some breakfast cereal and watch cartoons and it was like proximity half hour later. Maybe eight thirty in the morning when Cindy had woke up. We went to wake up jacqueline and she was gone. And at this point you know. I mean it's hatton through our lives a lot where two children are missing. Perhaps they're outside so there was there was concern but not over not panicking or anything at this point. We searched the neighborhood from a half hour. We in driven around any child's house that she might play with. We made phone calls. It was the second time back to the house when we searched the house again that we realized that our comforted was missing and now the concern turned into a slight panic because we couldn't imagine her taking this huge comfortable queen size bed out the door with their shoes you know. She's only seven but there were no sheets on the bed. We just became a contention later on. Is that sharon partially. There was no comfort on the either. It was missing. Comforter was missing in there. Were no seats on the bed Which the night before sin cindy had washed her seat since jacqueline only wanted particular seats. Which one along with the theme and our bedroom lady lovely locks or something like that and she wouldn't accept any other seats and by the time they were dry and We had company over that night. It was one of those nights where okay we. We didn't have time to put it on. And she was in a room and she falls asleep on a mattress pad. Matte bring it up because it later became one of the points brought up in port and so you realize when did you panic when you realize that the comforter is gone that was panic yes because then it turned into a head you noticed the whole had you noticed the broken window yet not yet no Once the comforter was missing that is when we made a phone call to Cindy's relatives on other side with your ex husband's mother and the reason we had called her is because it started. You know the point that she's missing Started growing concern to a point where we thought maybe she was taken slightly again. We weren't overly concerned about it at this point but we weren't taking any chances we had called since mother-in-law and that was used against us later in court also Perfect why would we call while the reason that we call it. Was i guess. So many years before that the her ex husband after the divorce had broken into a window in a house. He lived in into jacqueline's room and never did take jacket because someone woke up and he'd ran off and he was arrested for it and so it concerns us then after that maybe twenty minutes later when we saw the broken window. That's that at that point. We realized that is very good. Possibility jackson.
William and Harry Will Not Walk Side by Side at Funeral
"Palaces. Princes william and harry will not walk side by side or in their grandfather prince. Philip's funeral on saturday. The palace says their cousin. Peter phillips will walk between them as they escort to cough into the chapel. At windsor castle relations between the two brothers are said to be strained after harry's decision to step away from his royal duties last year and the subsequent interview with harry and his wife. Megan that they did with oprah winfrey.
Fresh update on "oprah winfrey" discussed on Strength To Be Human --Literary Podcast, Hosted by Mark Antony Rossi
"Did that sound complicated. Did you need a twenty five dollar book from amazon Did you need some dia coach. do you need to hang out with oprah winfrey. I don't know why she even talks about dieting. 'cause you know apparently She goes on and offer like a yo-yo but nevertheless ego. I just gave you a good solution. What to do loro is problems. Isn't that complicated. Which complicates people making all these silly excuses. Because they don't want to do the work because guess what dieting and running to lose weight tat's work just like writing it's work when some people like So a lot of work. Well we do work for all kinds of things. Why not do some work for things that can now oni psychologically and and maybe even emotionally fulfil us but artistically put out there so that other people can see what we're doing so we can communicate our thoughts and feelings that takes a little time that takes some time management that takes some work yet even take some organization. But hey because it's about the words. You're gonna find a way to do all this. It's not. It's not terribly complicated. Gave you a bunch of a really a good suggestions over there. I come across people that said that. day dorothy I know that sounds unusual. But they thought their their their physical wellbeing because of their disabled in one fashion or another. You know that's a problem you know we got people playing violins in wheelchairs and because the legs homework so they can play the violin and then you could write people can right when the deaf people can right when when they're blind and now guess what you can even right. If you don't even have good access to your arms because now they have various programs that you can speak into so you can start creating things right there. You can do editing. You can do all kinds of things. They're very similar to the ones. That stephen hawking us for many years communicate to people. But you can range stuff can organize it. You can get it pronounced. Send it out on the internet. All one device so there's simply a million things that you can do out the amount of what your your physical wellbeing is an answer right if you want to make that. So because that's the whole point. Yeah it is about the words but guess what it's also about the the writer. Does the writer care to be a writer. We got too many people out there that they thought it was a cool tagline makes him sound smart and cool off martin. Cool if you're now doing so murky get your writing out there to get it accomplished. It does take time yet. Does take some energy definitely take some some work but words can be beautiful when you when you play with them and figure out where they go and what they should do. And what kind of impact you you. You want them to have to me that the much more interesting than lessons tones of a guitar or the keys of a piano. The you know the bongos in the drums. This more much more interesting that. Because and i'm sure it's just because i'm not a musician and that's fine are allowed to have my bias my biases writing but There's a time after wall with to me music sounding the same you know. I i called the phil collins effect. I hear five songs with him. He sounds the same. Every song at dora fall asleep. Music to me is like that too.
Christina Applegate Shares Her Battle With Breast Cancer
"Is not here to talk about her latest movie or new. Tv show actress christina. Applegate is here to tell her own story because she knows that there are millions of women watching right now and she wants to use this opportunity to speak about what she's learned about her own very recent battle with breast cancer. Every woman who has a breast or has to breasts cannot afford to miss this show. Welcome christina applegate grade. Don't be nervous. They're very friendly are beautiful. How are you doing how are you. I'm good if there are any survivors out there. You know that how many people in here are survivors. Wow i didn't know that then up so awesome all right so you guys know. It can be a little uncomfortable after five weeks. But that's about it really really comfortable. The recovery process is painful. Yeah it's it can be very painful and as you know women no it's also a part of you that's gone so you you go through a grieving process in a morning process. So that's that can be difficult some days. Yes some days yeah okay. Let's start from the beginning. Was someone with you when you found out. Yes my friend. Rachel was with me on for regular mammogram. Now you know i. I've been getting mammograms. Since i was thirty. Because of high-risk i've mother with rest cancer and and so my doctor said that the mammograms weren't enough for me because at the dennis of my breasts so he suggested that i get an mri last year. So i went and got the mirai and they found some some funky things going on. And i had a biopsy and this was about a week after my biopsy i found out they call you on the
Did Depression Lead a Dad To Kill His Twin Daughters?
"I really wanted to do this interview. A terrible terrible thing happened to little girls who should be going to kindergarten. Learning to read growing up are gone. But i agreed to go to a prison in north carolina for one reason. Only i wanted to understand and to help you understand how dark of a place you have to be in to kill your own children here. Is the statistic. There are nineteen million americans who are suffering from depression right now. Nineteen million it can range all the way from a mild kind of sadness or moody ms or inability to sleep to a full blown psychotic break. That is what a father now behind bars. Claims happened to him. A psychotic break january twenty two thousand six an upscale suburb of charlotte north carolina. A tight community turn upside down to five year old little girls that are dead. I can't describe to you how horrific and how sad this is. This is the house where david crespi live with his second wife camp together they had five children. Including twin girls and samantha forty five year old. David was a successful senior vice president of a well-known thank colleagues. Describe him as smart funny and an all around great guy mini coworkers. Had no idea that for years. David suffered from debilitating bouts of depression. David says he had recently requested a week ought to deal with his illness. On one of those days samantha and tessa were home sick from school. Kim not nothing of leaving the girls with their father while she read out for a haircut. What kim did not know was david was having secret. Thoughts sick thoughts of killing his wife and children. Data's little girls wanted him to play their favorite game. Hide and seek. When david found samantha kitchen those deadly thoughts took over for the first
Dr. Mehmet Oz Says Waist Size Matters Far More Than Weight
"Is back and he claims this is what he says. He has the real weapon against fat. Don't we want to know what that and the best way to lose it once and for all he says that the key to achieving the best for you not jennifer aniston's body but for you as less to do with your weight and everything to do with your waistline or the reason we measure weight is because it's easy to do but it's actually misleading in many ways. First of all a lot of muslim people out there who way a lot right yeah. Muscle weighs more than fat. That's why fat floats hearing that as a kid. And that's one of the missing parts about measuring you wait alone. Plus doesn't tell you where the fat is the fats down your thighs. That'll cost you some dates. But it's not gonna cost you your life the fat here here. This is the fact that going to hurt you. And that's what we're gonna talk about today. Okay and why does this hurt you. Because deep inside they're not just beneath the skin. Deep inside is an oregon. That actually is right around all of your bodily organs your liver your stomach and everything else. It's pushes them okay. So what's a healthy waste while woman and then for man the ideal waste for a female under thirty two and a half inches young say that today for a guy what is for guys should be under thirty five inches. There's one yeah really under thirty five. That should be the idea. Waste and as you get more than that that costs you years of life and so these are points that are critically important for folks to get through. Because you're gonna keep a number to focus on. It's not your weight. it's your waist size. Okay so what did you
Sharon Osbourne leaving 'The Talk' amid allegations of racism
"Talk after coming to the defense of her friend. Piers Morgan Show has been on hiatus since the March 10th broadcast were. Osborne said she agreed with Morgan after he criticized Prince Harry and Meghan Markle for the Tell all interview with Oprah Winfrey, Osborne said on the talk. She did not think Morgan was racist for his comments. CBS launched him Destination after the episode and former co hosts also came forward accusing Osborne of racism. I'm Lisa Taylor.
Meghan Markle, Prince Harry’s Oprah interview prompts Buckingham Palace to consider appointing diversity chief
"A new position. CNN reports at Buckingham Palace is looking at appointing someone to focus solely on diversity efforts in the royal family. It's not known if for when the palace will formally announce university chief position, But the news comes weeks after Prince Harry and Meghan Markle told Oprah Winfrey that a member of the royal family raised the issue of how dark the skin color of their unborn child would be. Last week, Prince William said the royal family was very much not a racist family.
Prince William says U.K. royals "very much not a racist family"
"Not a racist family and comments made during a visit today to an East London school. William became the first Royal to directly address the explosive interview his brother And Megan gave to Oprah Winfrey. Buckingham Palace sought to respond to the interview as well with a 30 61 word statement. But it has failed to quell the controversy. Now with WGN SPORTS Here's David Good Morning second game of the six game road trip tonight for the Blackhawks against the Dallas Stars right here, A W G M
Black Britain defends Megan Markle
"It was an intense day in the immediate. In great britain on piers morgan's show good day. Great britain he and the weatherman. Alex bears for got into a heated argument over the oprah. Winfrey megan markle interview. You know piers. Morgan has an intense dislike for megan. Markle and alex challenged him on it. I wanted to institutions as the only person of color and experience kover an over racism on so many occasions. And why the mega intervene really resonates with me is because an x. Work colleague none of this. Show me if. I was worried about the shade of cocoa that my son was going to come out right so fully. Understand the hurt. That is behind all of that right. Let me is when you mix race what you find in my personal experience and there may be other people that may come forward and say this is that when you are shade of black people gain confidence and feel that they can say things to you that they wouldn't say to a black person. That's such an interesting point. That is my experience of all of this. And by the way i completely respect right and that's why i wanted to get you on the program today because my suggestion to have you talk about this. I thank you so much for having me on the program. I really appreciate it. But i just want you. Also to be aware of the power of your words. And i'm not saying that you're racist but why why do i honestly feel i feel is though because of your previous relationship with making michael. You have a relationship with her. You knew her rightly jokes about it on the show. Thank visit all that. I'm allowed to speak to all. That was informed me that she's a bit of a cut and run right right through headline and all her family. Her father her ex husband her ex frame. They've all been cut out of her life and it's an interesting observation. I happen to be interesting. I believe phil. Can i face. You can have this conference to to right. Can we talk about the program when he met. So what. I think of meghan markle doesn't matter whether i believe or not what matters is the damage that she is accused of doing to the royal family. And let me ask you on the issue of race. She is now the whole of america and the worst of the war frankly looking upon the palace the monarchy the queen everyone in the family as a bunch of races and it all comes down to two things that she said in the interview. One is something she didn't here. But harry reported back to her. The senior member of the royal family. The queen will prince so presumably as are the charles. Has it a guess has made a comment to harry about what color skin his baby may be. This is the time where we are challenging. Old systems all structures. I believe meghan when she says an prince harry when they talk about institutional racism. Because i've experienced it right now. You're listening to a tape jewish. She's a black journalist director and producer. In great britain. I have been the only black women black voice in a room full of paolo which doesn't look like me. I what vote house to get into the room to get into the building. I had an interview with the head of hr i with oft because you have such a great education. Do you feel more white. I have been told by my headmistress up my privileged expensive private school. don't bother to apply for oxford. They don't want your kind. You know what i mean. I've had all three my life so when she felt this is happening. I believe because. I admitted he's some of the people on the street. In great britain are saying about the meghan. Markle oprah winfrey interview to be fair as a black woman. She didn't get it very easy within the royal family and the newspapers when exactly friendly about it either. So for example. When kate was pregnant. It was all cates cradling. Her baby bump sola lovely and then when it was mega mega. Stop touching her belly do you. She got a lot of negative press over here. So i can see why they decided to out himself from the royal family because it's just not worth the hassle is it. Megan has been amazing. She has done so much for women. Megan harry that all about social justice and you can see that in the way that they've always come out. I think in terms of being royal. I think they want to create their own worlds and make their own money. I don't think they want to rely on the tax payer news
Royals' comments raise race issue in Commonwealth nations
"Comments by Harry and Meghan in the Oprah Winfrey interview a troubling Commonwealth nations in countries with historic ties to Britain allegations by the couple dozen unnamed member of the royal family had concerns over the collar of the unborn baby's skin razor thorny question do these nations really want to be so closely connected to Britain and its royal family anymore he was expected the interview would expose some risks in the role family now it seems to be risking divisions within the family of the Commonwealth association of fifty four countries held together by historic ties for decades the queen has been the driving force behind the organization I'm Charles Taylor this month
Royal Family Still Silent After Meghan and Harry's Bombshell Interview
"Been more details released from Oprah Winfrey's interview with Britain's Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Here's a B C's James long Hman. Buckingham Palace still silent two days after that bombshell interview with Meghan and Harry Accusing the palace of racism inside its walls. He won't be given security. It's not gonna be given a title and also Concerns and conversations about how dark his skin might be when he's born. What another night new sound from the duchess telling Oprah members of the royal family are entitled to a private life. I think everyone has a basic right to privacy, basic, right, And we're not talking about anything that Anybody else wouldn't expect the palace planning his response Courtiers in meetings all day yesterday. The monarchy has for so long adopted this say, as little as possible. Publicly approach on D. Never complain. Never explain, but I just don't see that working here and I think there is a need to provide some kind of clarity here. Kate, who Meghan criticized directly spotted driving through London on Monday. Well, neither mega nor Harry name names. Oprah says Harry told her. The comments about the baby skin were not made by either of his grandparent's. Can You tell us what the question was? No, I'm not comfortable sharing that. Um But that was that was part of the beginning, right? Like what? Well, the baby look like Yeah, well, the kids looked like in new clips released Monday. Harry says last year when he briefly returned to the UK after he and Megan's stepped away from their duties is working Royal's that his grandmother, the Queen wanted to see him. My grandmother was certain moment, you land. I want to ask you get called to Sandringham would love to have a chat. Come for Tina, where you stay. For the moment we land in the UK. I got a message from my private secretary at the time cutting and pasting a message from the Queen's private secretary, basically saying, Please pass along. Did you touch the Sussex? It cannot come to Norfolk. Queen is busy. She's busy all week. Doesn't the queen get to do what the queen wants to do? Hmm? When your head of the firm There is people around you that give you advice, okay? What is also made me really sad. And some of that advice is being really bad. Harry describing the environment inside the palace as toxic You mentioned earlier, Harry that you were hurt by the fact that there has been no acknowledgement on the part of your family. That this was different because of Race. Do you think there ever will be? And would that make a difference to you? Yeah, they would make a huge difference It's talked about across the world. Yet the very people don't want to see it or concert. He was not to see it. Does your father think it's a toxic environment? A relationship? The message he's had to make peace with that, Meghan says the British tabloids aggressively moved in on her father. Thomas Marchal. She says he eventually started working for them. Did it feel like betrayal? When you found out your father was working with the tabloids? I said, we won't be able to protect her own kids one day. And then I said, so. I just need you to tell me And if you tell me the truth, we can help. And he wasn't able to do that. Meghan Markle from her interview with Oprah Winfrey on CBS.
Piers Morgan Leaves UK Morning Show after Meghan Markle Comments
"Taking his leave from Good morning Britain is Piers Morgan. He's departing after his own air comments on an interview that Megan Marco gave Oprah Winfrey Megan says she was suicidal and was denied help for treatment. Morgan says he didn't believe a word of that that triggered complaints to the U. K's media watchdog. The next day, Morgan stormed off, said after a heated discussion with The fellow host about the couple's claims of racism in the royal family, I TV says after meeting with Morgan, He agreed it was time for him to go to Moscow. Wells Gabriel
World viewership of royals' interview nearly 50 million
"Not only did it make international news The Oprah Winfrey interview of prince Harry and Meghan Markle created a huge TV audience Nielsen reports his pre luminary rating say an estimated seventeen point one million people tuned in for the interview which aired Sunday on C. B. S. that represents the largest audience for any prime time entertainment special in the country so far this year during the interview Megan said she experienced racism from the royal family and the British tabloids while Harry said that he and his family felt trapped in an oppressive institution Buckingham Palace has responded to the comments on racism calling them concerning but added that they will be addressed internally rather than in public I'm Oscar wells Gabriel
Buckingham Palace issues first statement since Harry and Meghan interview
"Palace is sending a message. In a statement released today, the British royal family says It's sad and over the allegations of racism made by Prince Harry's wife, Meghan Markle. The couple made the claims during an interview with Oprah Winfrey on Sunday. Buckingham Palace says the issue of racism will be dealt with but privately. We'll take you
Buckingham Palace says royal family is 'saddened' in first statement since Harry and Meghan interview
"Buckingham Palace breaks its silence. Queen Elizabeth the second responding to Prince Harry and Megan Marco's interview with Oprah Winfrey, Elliot Hannon reports. The palace issued a statement after nearly two days of outrage over the couple's charges of racism within the royal family. After the interview aired in the UK Monday night morning radio talk shows where a light with speculation about what it all meant for the monarchy. Everyone had an opinion, it seemed, except for the royal family itself that ended Tuesday when Buckingham Palace issued of four sentence statement from the Queen. The whole family is saddened to learn the full extent of how challenging the last few years have been for Harry and Meghan, the queen's statement reads. She added. The issues raised particularly that of race or concerning while some recollections may very they're taken very seriously and will be addressed by the family
Reaction from Brixton to Harry and Meghan interview
"Shoppers at the market in London's multicultural Brixton area have reacted to the Harry and Meghan interview with chat show host Oprah Winfrey the couple's explosive chat which first aired in Britain on Monday night has divided people around the world working an institution that's struggling to modernize with claims of racism and callousness to older woman struggling with suicidal thoughts Brixton resident Melanie Clark says she thinks he took Meghan and Harry a lot of guts to stand up to the whole situation and just speak from the heart and make kind of binary while the study for it and you know explain what you've been free when it comes to racism but when it comes to abuse and these are the things are happening in the world you know I mean it shouldn't be ignored shop was praised the couple for speaking up I'm almost filled it exposed everything that's written about the royal family Charles Taylor this month London
Reaction from London to Harry and Meghan interview
"Commuters in London have been reacting to Britain's prince Harry and his wife Megan's television interview with American chat show host Oprah Winfrey the two hour interview with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex put ad in Britain on Monday night a set builder by trade Matthew I'm born tells the AP he wasn't not sympathetic to the royal family to start with a now like many others feels more drawn to the Sussex is now a lot of people think the same thing they they there's some real soul of swell of calling the store someone empathy in controls a lawyer Karina Mitchell thinks the two hour interview was far too intrusive I think it's a shame that I did it I think it is very personal what they've been told to any family would be upset about that the explosive TV interview has divided people around the world and likely rocked an institution that's struggling to modernize Charles Taylor this month London
Buckingham Palace in crisis after Harry and Meghan unload on royal family
"A night to be an england. A few hours ago viewers in the u. k. Got their own chance to watch meghan. Markle and prince. Harry's televised bombshell interview with oprah winfrey british tabloids have been hitting back hard since the couple's explosive allegations became public attacks almost as vicious as those that drove meghan and harry from the country and the monarchy. Nbc news correspondent care. Simmons brings us more reaction from london tonight. Silence from the royal family. After megan's bombshell allegation the racist comments were made before the birth of their first son. He won't be given security. It's not going to be given title and also concerns and conversations about how dark skin might be when he's born. What sarah several conversations a conversation with you with harry about how dark your baby is going to be. Potentially what that would mean or look like prince harry confirming the allegation. I'm never going to but at the time was oak ridge irish sharks today in the u. k. Many stunned we have full a black woman. She didn't get it very easy. Within the royal family. Meghan says she became so depressed. She asks for help. I just didn't want to be alive anymore. I said that. I needed to go somewhere to get help. And i was told that. I couldn't that it wouldn't be good for the institution. So were you thinking of harming yourself or you having suicidal thoughts yes. This was very very clear. She says harry was her only supports. If you zoom in what. I see is how tightly. His knuckles are grouped around mind. You see the whites of our knuckles because we are smiling and doing our job. But we're both just trying to hold on country to press reports. Say they never blindsided the queen. Another blindsided my grandmother. I respect for. The hurry describes a strained relationship with the british press and members of the royal family including his father who he says at one point wouldn't pick up his goals as for his relationship with prince. William the relationship is space one royal historian tonight tells us the palace will be in crisis mode how damaging the interview. I think it's very damaging. Actually they've made very serious allegations primarily of course it racism in the royal family and brian oprah says prince harry told her the unnamed royal who made the comments about skin color is not the queen or prince.
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"One out of four women and one out of seven men in this country. The united states of america have been sexually abused. We have talked about it a lot on this show. It is in the news a lot every week. We get hundreds of letters from women who have lived with this secret for years because the nightmare of sexual abuse continues long after the molesting stops. If you've been abused yourself you may be surprised how it has affected you or you may be one of those women like myself who never even looked at your life to realize how what happened to you as a child has affected you. See if you recognize yourself any of these characteristics of women who have been abused sexually as children. do you have an aversion to sex. Were you sexually promiscuous as a child. Were you more sexually inquisitive as a child and your friends. are you leaning toward homosexuality or bisexuality. Drugs alcohol had. They played a role major role in your life. Are you a perfectionist. You have an inability to function. And you can't seem to get organized. You sometimes have flashbacks of the incident. And can't get it out of your mind and relive it over and over. Did you relive it as a child many times do you have an inability to have relationships. Have you been married many times. Multiple marriages spider woman type. You snare opposite sex only for sex. Are you over protecting your children. All of my audience members today have been sexually abused and some of the stories that you are here of are of a very sensitive nature so you might want to find something else for the children to do or you may if you are an open minded enlightened parents prefer for your children to see the show. I want to read you a letter that we received here on the oprah winfrey show. It is from one of the guests here today. Jamie she says. I've held the secret of incest and it's force within myself for over thirty years and i'm now ready to tell my story. It's a story of incest of sexual abuse. Physical abuse verbal abuse emotional trauma alcoholism. The sad truth is that just because the physical behavior stopped the damage remains. I've carried around my secrets for so long. Now that the secrets have become as big a problem as the actual abuse itself. and so. that's what this show is about. It is about what happens after the abuse jamie. Tell me what happened in your life. I was getting molested. I started getting abused by my brothers. When i was three and it stopped when i was around seven and they let their friends also abused me. I was sort of the like the doll in their life. And then i was getting molested by the man up the street. That was acted as grandfather until i was eleven. I was raped. When i was fifteen and i was pregnant at sixteen and i have two daughters now as a result. None of the rapes. I was married for about eight years. And i'm a recovering alcoholic. Can one of my daughters also recovered now. When you were being abused by the by your brothers did you know it was wrong. Or bad no they. They're my brothers. Were the only people in my family. That were nice to me. They weren't hitting me on one of nine children who's being beaten by both my mother and my father and my brothers they were always just nice to meet and they always were friendly with me and they never. I never thought they were me because they weren't hitting me kind of effect. Do you think it's had on your life those years from three to seven when you were being used by your brothers and to <hes>. Trying to form relationships. I don't have a real good track record with men at all. I've been married twice. And i seem to have a real difficult time in relationships with men in the last couple of years i've begun to form relationships with women because i didn't trust women either by relationships. You mean. Sexual relations friendships ships. I've been isolated. Most of my life and i've overprotected my children. I've i've kind of was the rebel though too. I've been loud and aggressive but so that no one would know what was really going. How do you see that the sexual abuse had any effect on all of these other things that have happened in your life or impact trying to just maintain and go about day to day life. It's for a long time before. I started talking about it. I would wake up in the morning and wonder why had woken up again. Why didn't just die during the night. Because i finally. When i went to therapy. I decided to have myself committed because every time i woke up. I didn't know what would happen during the day. I i held big joe. I had my kids. People thought i was superwoman. People thought i was friendly. One woman even said to me she thought. I never had had a sad day in my entire life. But that's because i was busy keeping the secret and the in. I couldn't let anyone know.
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"Hushes of your violent. I accept about his last time. It is your ability descends. What's going on around to to make sure you never get stuck in a situation where you're in danger of you see something going down really. Stay away from it because i might my biggest concern to safety view to all this next year. You have cash on you Somewhere so that him Or bring credit cards could get out of their gossip trying to avoid it. If a girlfriend of yours is telling me every secret about somebody else then you can be very sure that that rose telling your secrets to somebody else. Good motherly advice or not. Only has recorded a lifetime of motherly advice for her daughter. She's writing a book called. Prepare to die. Expect to live a checklist for us. All do you expect to live to see the book. I dissent every goal at it set. Yes i i hope to i. It's god's will now what's interesting to me is you have different. Goals are reading this that you just wanted to make her fifth birthday because the personalities pretty set by five yes yes and at the end of the fifth birthday i cried right because got it allowed me to see it because for years prior it was not looking that good that i would ever to the fifth but My mother had taught me that. The personality is set by five. We believe it now. Friend calls it the klay hardening really. Yes what's been the hardest for you throughout the whole process harsh scenes watching your and go through treatment. The cancer's not caused as much pain as the chemotherapy treatments and just having to to work with peyton and in kind of substitute mom when there's nothing better than the real thing has been the toughest. I'm convinced it's much harder to be my husband or my family watching going through this as opposed to me really why. I had an experience. When i was in high school where my boyfriend at the time was in a car accident and i had to stand beside him thinking he was going to die and going through tacoma that lack of control really prepared me to know what it's like to sit on his side. I knew it pain. I'm going through physically. And i can handle it but to watch your parents watch you possibly go before them or your husband standing there and holding me through a painful procedure where i have to scream out and him just holding my hand through it. I get the release. He doesn't it's hard. You say that you should explain death to a child because once you die your spirit leaves. Your body goes to heaven to be with god and that's how you all choose to explain it. Yes yes visit a funeral with your child and you've done that yes and explained by that. The spirits just gone one day. She came in from outdoors with cicadas. Schiller shell i said that's exactly what we've been talking about. How the keta leaves the shell behind and then we bury the shell in remembrance of that person so when we went to the funeral when we were burying someone she knew. We said that the body you know. Where is she peyton. She said no. She's in heaven that's just her body going into the greatest show yes it all makes sense to choose completely comfortable with it and so it wasn't the whole thought process. Death is not a shock tours as part of the circle of life of caution. We don't saturate her with the concept of death at all times. We slowly unraveled. i Yeah i would think that maybe some people think it's not true though the way it's been explained to me that because you've done these at the whole house that's all you ever talking about. I do when she's gone. She's gone upstairs. Sleeping's all right. You believe that that children to be able to express their own fears about death. Yes and independent on what age they are. Because i'm sure in your family you were. Were you all allowed to talk about it. Knowing your mom was going to die you were and did you talk about yes okay. Create a loving daily ritual to be shared by the healthy parent. You say yes. Create a charm bracelet. Purchase charms be given after the loved. One step well. It's lovely purchase a pet for your child to love far in advance of the expected debt. Yes yeah well for us because we only had one child they clearly have. The infrastructure thing is about continuity though you know to get something that's going to give continuity through a potential transition periods to build the The more that we think there is. I think it's we stand a better chance to make it through a potential hardship with her and that was what the dog was all about. So we go as selecting a caregiver when ahead and selected a kick go ahead and integrate into our house so that she would know my morals and values and know the routines and there would be consistency there to wow and the caregiver was somebody. You knew no. We interviewed for months long. Time a big interview situation to walk into me. You had a big issue. There ever was anybody was thinking about. I wonder if we could take in another child. I wonder if we could the malvolio a living example that it can be done. Do you feel blessed because of or stressed or or blessed end stressed. We believe that children are blessing. And just like most of us probably wouldn't say now. I don't want another present if children are blessings than we're richly blessed because we have eight more to add to our far we have twelve. Is it difficult. Yes sometimes times it is but mostly it is blessing. Wow do you find this encouraging toby. Yeah if someone can take eight they can certainly take into on a dog. Oh that's right. Don't forget lacy thank you. Thank you for sharing your stories. We wish you the highest vision that god health or your life to be reality for yourself. That's the true. Thank you so much. I'm oprah winfrey. And you've been listening to the oprah winfrey. Show the podcast if you haven't yet go to apple podcasts. And subscribe rate and review this podcast next week. Another oprah show the podcast. I thank you for listening..
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"Out and trying to nurture sauce steady recently from the aarp. They'd like two thirds of of the divorces theater for women who are forty or above are initiated by women. I think a big reason for that is that you allow these relationships to atrophy to such a point that it can't be developed anymore and if you build a situation where you've invested all of your time all of your motion all of your focus all of your intimacy if you will into your children which that is really what i l as focus that can intimacy has been transferred to elimination. It says in the article on those words. I'm sorry. I think you need to listen to what role in saying because rolling is saying something so clear which is the folk the the big question of that article and the question of everything that everyone is saying is which relationship is the primary. Where i'm saying is. I don't think that we necessarily should be looking to our children to give building blocks for for marriage. They're nine years old ten years old they don't have they don't have the perspective of longevity crack we do and so to ask nine or ten year old about these things in my view. Probably not even the great question but i can tell you this i will ask. I asked my twenty one year-old the same question and that's the response. They understand how important that marriage relationship was to make sure that they were security. You know when. I what what i view my job as a mother is is creating people who are secure and creating people have empathy for the world and creating people who are able to leave my house and go out. I'm all right without them. I don't want them to feel like they are everything to me. So the when they leap collapsed. I want them to know that. I have my own identity that i have my writing that i have my work that i my their father that i have that love is great. Love that i have for him and that they'll be fine when they're gone. I think when we have focused all of our identities on these children on these merrill tiny delicate shoulders. It's a terrible burden for them. You that i i. I think we agree that I think your number one job is apparent is to raise children who can go out in the world. And i think that maybe we that's what we are all striving for but we all admit now decided that it's done in spite of everything that we know A lot of people have done the opposite. You have more rain kids coming back home to stay now. Stay there before the mother is doing everything for you. And that doesn't tend to make independent is doing one question. I had with the one phrase. And i may have misunderstood it but when you said if god forbid one of them died i'd still have my husband and and to me kind of seem like you know but i'd still have my husband because he's going to be the one that's there in the end in spite of the fact that divorce rates over fifty percent. But but i'm just thinking wouldn't you're you being dark cloud for some years of me. Would you really be thinking. Thank god it has okay. That's just. I mean to say that. I that my husband is my primary relationship that i love him. The most doesn't mean that. I don't love my children. Of course i love them and the idea of losing them. When you play that game that god forbid game that i say is so horrifying to imagine. The idea of that is just overwhelming and devastating to me too. I'm not saying oh my kids. Think mom i people maybe that we might be responding is because another part of that statement was if i lost my husband. There'd be no joy. Wait wait there would be. It would be like the be off. I lost my children. I could move on a lot of fun. Imagine a life. Because i have a have to. I can imagine continuing alight but you can imagine continue. We know life with your husband. If your children were gone. Not not vice. I as i can i can imagine i can. I can if. I lost one of my children. When i try to imagine a future i can see that. Maybe one day down the road. I can see having some joy in my life. But i can't even imagine my life without my husband in a way. I'm i'm envious because you know one of my great fears. Is that like lynn. All wake up one day and find him gone. There's if like oprah's been saying there's a fifty seven percent divorce rate. My husband is a successful novelist. Twenty-three-year-old writers throwing themselves at him all the time. I'm five foot tall and a little chubby. And i'm getting wrinkles and i you know maybe he's gonna wanna be with some twenty three year old sex pot. I think there's a great balance. My husband and i have a balance. Where together we still have a great sex relationship. We don't feel great sex when you all know when we're sitting in that playground and we're sitting in that mommy. I'm sorry nobody's having cut. There's no no now it's ffa. Connie it if i was a turn off the cameras and everybody would get real here. I believe most people most people in this room are not having sex even weekly. I think women use the entire audience. What does this go that one out of five couples says they have sex us ten times a year. This has been very interesting. I thank you for writing the article. I think it's wonderful that you can get us to think about these things in a new way. I know It was so interesting because walking in the room. I could feel the tension you are like so you're very brave because you really are one of the first people i've heard in years. I had met you all to have this conversation. But i hear so many women saying they have you know given up on sex and they wish their husband would forget about it and go and do the business so to hear someone who speaks so passionately about it the way that you do at least given us to think about and opened up for conversation. Thanks everybody thank you. I'm oprah winfrey. And you've been listening to the oprah winfrey. Show the podcast if you haven't yet go to apple podcasts. And subscribe to rate and review. This podcast join me next week. For another oprah. Show the podcast. I thank you for listening..
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"From you. Want me to do what other people say. You don't matter but today when my friend calls or by whatever calls. I just don't want to be able to sit there and not answer the phone number one you buy time you say tend to request. Let me think about it for a minute. Hang up yeah could be. Let me pray on. It i go. Oh that's taken to. Jesus get back. Let's pray on it. Let me play on it. And that would at least give you time if they just wanna pocketbook. You know i cannot borrow your pocketbook. Let me take you to jesus and see what jesus has what you can say that. Oh excuse me. I need to go get something. Can i call you right back. Yeah phone or whatever and then you connect with what you want. What do you want right. That's the first question is now when you know what that is okay. I think by time by time by time. Let me think about it. Yeah so you're out what you want. Okay figure out what you want right. Third thing practice saying no so you have you know. I'm sorry i don't want to scare. It will scare you to death but you have to practice the no response before you're with the other person. I'm oprah winfrey. And you've been listening to the oprah winfrey. Show the podcast if you haven't yet go to apple podcasts. And subscribe rate and review. This podcast. join me next week. For another oprah. Show the podcast. I thank you for listening now. Does your all wanting to be healthier and that includes our in health. But how do you get vision coverage if you're retiring it's actually pretty easy. Vs the vision coverage many people get through work offers individual vision plans enroll anytime on any device can start using your benefits the same day. You don't need to be an employee to get employee level vision coverage visit vs p. direct dot com today. That's bs p direct dot com..
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"At me sudden he said. This piece. Yes it is piece. I loved this piece. And I realized that my child. Loved this piece as much as I did but he couldn't create it for himself if I could create it and give it to him. He would gratefully enter into it. So she stepped back to reevaluate their lives I think as parents we tend to offer our children too many choices kids can get overwhelmed by the choices if we have the inner strength to say, well, no, we don't really need to do that. Then children learn that life can be good since I found the confidence to make these choices for my children. I feel that my children are just breathing easier. I was really able to look at my kids and seat that I could only bring peace to my child when I felt peaceful as well. I I give myself a gift of a Yoga class and giving myself the skift I was also giving a gift to everyone else in the family because that sense of calm. Is Find it Yoga I. Carry Home with me I. think it's really important. For Women to honor themselves enough to take that time to do whatever it is that replenishes and refreshes. And just brings back that joy and life. Katrina story is told in her book called Mitten Strings for God reflections for mothers in a hurry. You also have a great idea for how your family now spend Sundays which is. My husband and I realized that what we really wanted was just more time to hang out together as a family and Sundays in our house were very much an extension of the workweek. They were like every other day except for the fact that we would buy doughnuts for breakfast and dropped ten pound newspaper on the table which no one ever had a chance to read anyway. and. So we decided that we would just try to reshape Sundays which meant we would no longer get up in the morning and start kicking things off the list and seeing how many errands we could do and maybe squeeze in a few hours at our desks and dash off to the health. Club. We would just hang out on Sundays. which is not to say that we wouldn't do anything we just we are going to be open to whatever good thing came our way, and by the end of Sunday, we were all feeling pretty refreshed ready to take on Monday you allow it to be your restorative day. We give it a we give ourselves a day of rest on Sunday wow and you know people have been doing this. For Generations. Most of us do have memories of Sunday's as the day when busy families switched gears and you know you would have the pot roast at noon and everyone would gather round mom and dad might go take a nap seemed very boring. The kids it'd be left alone to entertain themselves. Well, this is very radical. Now you know today if you give us an empty day, we fill it. So, we tried to empty it again. So Kathy, brought along some ideas for what to do when you finally take that precious time for yourself. They are. You can just pray and meditate. You can journal write down your blessings. On a candle some good music music is the language of the soul, some relaxing music and just think of your dreams and what who you want to be. You know we're all human you're not human being to a human becoming too. Who Do you want to become? It might be your day to take a bubble bath. It might be just time you might just have time to walk around the block or walk in the woods. Maybe it's only fifteen minutes at every little bit helps you can restore your soul renew your spirit in just a short amount of time. What do you do? Katrina I get out the door for me. It's just being outside and it might just be being outside laying in the grass looking at the sky, which is actually something I try to do every day and it's not enough to look up the standing because that's not resting flat down and I watched the clouds drift and if I've got a child nearby, I'll pull him in to if I don't get to do it while the sun is shining I do while the stars are shining really. Don't you think it's important to do I think it's important to set your day because I think you set your day because your co creating with the big guy you really are I have a moment every morning I go out to get the newspaper the most mundane thing in the world we all do it but I, walk out to the very front of my house and I just look up for a minute and I think they're all in their one. Still. Asleep. Husband's in the shower ones doing whatever and I just think this is home. This is the place that contains my family and I'm about to go back in there and what do I want to bring with me for all of us run for busy MOMS to get up just a little bit ahead of everybody else too so that they can get their head screwed on straight. It's been some quiet time thinking and praying about the debt will think so. Yeah for me, it's the morning while making the coffee you know and the Sun Right? A A Lake Michigan. So for me, it's like having sunrise faith is that moment where you set yourself for the day that you were open to the possibility that God has to offer yourself and and the day and I don't know how otherwise if you don't do it then your day just run you if like this is the. Day We have been given. Yes. You can forget yesterday it's a fresh slate. Kids love a fresh slate instead away between his book is called. mitten strings for God reflections for mothers in a hurry. Thanks to Cathy Peel again, her book is called be your best the family managers guy to personal success about treating your family like it is it is its own business and you need to manage that and give time back. I'm Oprah Winfrey and you've been listening to the Oprah Winfrey show the podcast. If you haven't yet go to apple podcasts and subscribe rate and review this pipe pass join me next week for another Oprah show the podcast. I thank you for listening..
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"Was always happy. Can you see how that might be influencing? Why was so important for you to go because it had been one of the happiest memories of her life. So understanding that now we can see that it wasn't as much control as concern. I want you to have a good time. This is the happiest time of my life. It was a mistake or a misunderstanding perfect code. Going on there. Yeah. You're right. It is. It's totally different changer way you feel about that now that promise experience that's exactly what we're trying to do here. Vital step is reconnecting with your family marked asked Neil joy and Shirley. For them to get along. Do you blame yourself for the distance between you and your children. Of course, I have to assume some responsibility in that. My kids think that I that I always have to be right. Joy especially and I. I don't know how to make. Make it any different To Change. Are you able to express your needs? Another No. Because she doesn't get it. Get it I and I and I don't have the tools or I'm not there are. I can't make her get it. What would you most want to happen? Acceptance would be nice. Just to accept who I am. What would you want from? Understanding. Openness. That they could accept me for who I am. They. Can See as the person Shirley not just mom. Yeah Well, unlike what see I wanted to be proud of me a woman. Know new. Book you said. Code One of the questions, how do you feel when you walk down the street with your mother and your siblings and and I guess that really ring a bell because. I, have a feeling that they'd like me to walk ten paces behind him. That's part right there. Because we love him. I. Hurt. I want to hear what you have to say, what were you saying? I would like her to be right there with with us how we are and be proud of us. Like we are of her that she would accept us and walk with us and not be embarrassed of us and not try to. Change US and and and just accept us. For who we are And how in how we are running our own life? May Be good or bad, and let us make our mistakes but still be there and support us when we make. But when having I supported. Can you tell me anytime that I haven't? You've always been there. Yes. Trying to fix us. Yeah, it's. They feel like they're not good enough I know I know not just being who they are because they feel like everything you do and say to them. Thanks to radio like it makes them feel like you want them to be or do differently than they are better. Did you better do better? which is it's. If you look at it. It's good but you really have to dig down deep. Every human being you what you're saying is no different than everybody everybody mouth. Is Looking. To value in their life. You know. Everybody is just looking to say why can't you love me for who went for WHO I am? Isn't that what everybody is looking for that? Exactly what we're doing here okay. 'cause I think it's a really loving act to be here. You wouldn't be tears everybody if you didn't love each other and we're going to keep working. Always show the. Chairman. Thank you so much. Thank you for your stores. I'm Oprah Winfrey and you've been listening to the Oprah Winfrey show the podcast. If you haven't yet go to apple podcasts and subscribe rate and review this podcast join me next week for another Oprah show the podcast. Thank you for listening Okay. So works done and your cravings, something spicy and salty I know. What idea snack on blue diamond was savvy and soy sauce flavored almonds they're so good and almonds are a superfood. Don't deny your cravings eat them. Blue diamond almonds crave victoriously..
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"Twenty five seasons. Four thousand five hundred sixty, one episodes I believe the Oprah Winfrey show was one of the greatest classrooms in the world rolling their bottom line, the moments, the breakthroughs, the connections, the occasional ugly cry. So terribly every single minute. L. O. ELL's. The moments that matter. I oblique light lessons never allow them to take you somewhere I'm bringing them back. It's time to open the ball. I personally chosen these classic episodes to share with you. Again, every single person you ever will meet shares that common desire they want to know. Do you see me? Do you. Hear me. That's what I say mean anything to you. You're listening to the Oprah Winfrey show the podcast. We have some interesting guests here today. There are people who feel deeply ashamed of something in their past. There are a lot of us who carry chamber a long time one of those people who finally got over it but some of the people here today have buried the truth. So deeply they thought it no longer affected them. Shame always does, of course, the truth is always there for us to Confront Melissa England says it shame has ruled her life since she was just six years old and that's when her entire world crumbled in front of her is. Father, who worked? When had a mother? who was a stay at home mother? We had house like everyone else's we played outside. It may have looked like a happy childhood but hidden behind the smiles were parents who constantly. The one day when Melissa was six years old a disagreement over how to spend a day turned deadly the argument escalated my father left the house. Came back in the house. With a gun. And he pointed the gun at her and he told her to turn around. and. I thought she was watching me and I was so angry with my father it was too overwhelming to understand hid just shot her. Took me outside and he wrote me. and. Then he went back in the house any locked in my bedroom and he went back into the bedroom and killed himself. I think from that moment. I stopped being a child. Melissa under brother were sent to live with their aunt and uncle they told her that talking about what happened would destroy her life. If people knew where I came from, they would put me away. I would be ostracized would be isolated so I became something new. It's a secret she has slowly begun to share, but she still feels like a prisoner of her childhood. I don't believe I was born with original sin I believe I was born with original shame. Well Melissa is here with us. She says that she feels ultimately responsible for what happened. Do you still? Yes I've. I've done a lot of work. I've done a lot of therapy but. Some hard and I couldn't get something from my parents and I thought it was me and I. I wanted to be loved and I wanted them to live and I wanted them to do something that I thought everybody else's parents were doing. And I couldn't get that. At six years old though you're six years old when this happened and now as an adult. What we're trying to understand because we all hear that story and we feel sadness for the little girl who had to go through that. But it's difficult to understand how you as an adult. Now looking back on that time can still feel that you had something to do with your father going. Asking your mother to turn around and shooting her. In. Cold blood which just hard to see that. Part of what I think my shame is is that I couldn't get from my mother this love I remember arm. Going back away from me. and My mother and father argued because my mother couldn't get somewhere. So my father. My father loved her daughter wanted to get close to her. That's how I saw. I wanted her to buy also wanted to go away I thought just my wanting her to go away caused that to happen I was so afraid to look at this I thought I was the one who pulled the trigger. I wanted to be loved and I'd wanted my mother to go away and my dad to love me because of she couldn't love me. I, wanted my dad. He feels. Everybody wants. Some part of me thinks I caused it my wanting that I wanted so bad i. made it happen I wanted to be loved and I must not have done it. Right My. Father Kills my mother. He goes back in the house. He kills himself. He leaves me I'm not enough for him either. Mahal message has been whatever I am wasn't good enough wasn't enough. No he wasn't enough for himself. He wasn't enough. bestselling author and lecturer John Bradshaw has written several books about shame including healing the shame that binds you, and so no matter how much you've done we can all see you still got to do. Welcome back to the show John Thank you what does she now need to do Well, there are a lot of things she can do. One thing is that it can't be done quickly but you and I were just talking and I said if you had that six year old little girl just imagine what would you say to her? What what would you tell her that? Six Year old little girl? Witness this awful thing that's beyond my imagination even my favorite words no one's I tell my kids it's GonNa be alright. Alright no one told me. It was going to be alright ever so you can tell yourself that. It's going to be all right and I was afraid to look at her because I thought there was something so ugly about her I couldn't picture for the longest time and the Niger Self Oh right when I tried to imagine when they'd say go through this this imagery, you have this child that comes into your room and I can't look at her she's dirty and she's a and she's in a corner and she won't turn around. That's how I pictured. There was a moment where with the help of therapy I turned her around and I held her and I told her I loved her I told her shoes remarkable to live through something. So horrible in that, there was a possibility that this life I had could.
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"Twenty five. Seasons. Four thousand five hundred, sixty, one episodes. I believe the Oprah Winfrey show was one of the greatest classrooms in the world rolling narrow bottom at line the Aha moments the breakthroughs, the connections, the occasional ugly cry missing so terribly. Every single minute the L. O. ELL's. The moments that matter. I oblique light lessons never allow them to take some words I'm bringing them back. It's time to open the vault. I personally chosen these classic episodes to share with you. Again, every single person you ever will meet shares that common desire they WanNa know do you see me? Do you hear me that's what I say mean anything to you. You're listening to the Winfrey, show the podcast. I'm excited about the possibility that this show can offer to all of you within the sound of my voice right now because when I decided I was going to continue with television. I. Wanted to be able to use it as an instrument a vehicle to try to bring meaning to people's lives so that something we might say something you might hear might create a spark that would create something inside yourself with touch some part of yourself that would make you live better do better. Create the highest vision for your life, and this is this show is spectacular today in terms of being able to bring you to that. If you pay attend, you pull up a chair I know right now children are running around the house. That I know you know not to be thawing the chicken out who did you on it in the microwave? Hit. Pause, on that right now. Call your friends tell them if they can't watch right you should really take this because this is really important important for you and even more important if you could share this with your children because if there's one thing you should know if you want to have a better more meaningful, fulfill deeper richer existence, it is this that the world and everything in this world that this physical reality that we are experiencing right now operates under certain laws y'all know that. And it supersedes everything. It is real and as consistent as the scientific law of gravity or the physical law of cause and effect, and once you begin to understand how the world operate and how fair and just it really is no matter where you are in your life right now, you then can begin to learn to be a more powerful person. So this little book if life is a game these. Are The rules explains ten rules of universal wisdom if you understand and follow them every day every moment, which is hard to be in there. Every moment I'm telling you and we all struggling you'll have a better life and better relationships in your life because you come to know yourself better doctor. Cherie Carter. Scott, is the author of if life is a game these are the rules coming up in. Telling you. Thank you. Read that is great to get a standing ovation. Yeah. Open your mouth yet. How did you come up with these rules? It was in nineteen, seventy, four and somebody turned to me. I was creating a course to teach people how to coach other people and he said, you know it would be so nice if we just had a handbook for living, why don't we have some kind of rules for being human and I said that's it we need. The rules for being human and turned to me and they said, well, what are they and I said, well, you start with the body and they said Okay and then we're and all of a sudden it was as if spirit inside me was speaking and they came through under the paper and there they were plain and simple and I looked at them and I said. I don't know if I'm brilliant enough to create those I listen and I, allowed it to come through there they are. Okay. Rule number one is you will receive a body. So. Who in this room received the perfect body and you know it was just the right one for. You. No. Problem because if we did get that body and we said you know, thank you that's the one I ordered and it's exactly got it would be a different rural but I bet if you look around this room, you see somebody else that's the body I should have gotten. No, that's the one I should've gotten and you would trade you do an exchange but somehow that's not the way it is we are given a body and it's the one that we are meant to make peace with. The rule is you you going to receive a body? Yes. Otherwise we wouldn't be here. Exact. That's how we moving around in the body. Yes, and you may love it or hate it but it is yours for the duration of your life on absolutely. Okay. It's only when you got but yet the reason why so many people have their greatest pain and struggle in that body. Absolutely. Okay. Dinky says she's a perfect example of this rule and what dinky definitely. So much of our society looks at people by their body type and. How they come across in their body, I suffer from gaining weight losing weight gaining weight losing weight. You know just like why do people do? I know I have every reason in the world to be happy. And I have this void within myself and I don't know how to fill that void. I don't know how to to get to the core. Okay and you want to do something with me a little exercise fast close your eyes for second take a deep breath. And ask your body what it wants to say to you that you're not listening to. Deep Breath. Just, have it speak to you and say whatever the words are that you hear. Expecting respect me what else? I'm here for I'm here for you. What else? I do a lot for I do a lot for you and what else? Take Care of take care of me, open your eyes do you hear it? It's speaking to you. What do you need to do differently in your life to honor those words from your body to you? I need to respect my body. And is it look like to you? What does it look daily life? Oh it's terrible. Was My body for you to respect your body. You need to. Do differently. Starting today starting today. Yeah. I will dress it up when it wants to be dressed up. L.. I will constantly wear my smile that I always have. Anyway there's beautiful teeth. Thank you. I will exercise it and nurture it and feed it I. Think the nurturing thing is the big thing I haven't been doing. Okay. So you don't feel word what does the nurturing look like to you? What do you need to nurture this body to care for it to do what the body wants to? Move Dance. Move I'm I'm a machine, my body what do you say body when it says dance move move with me what do you say to it? GimMe some use What music do you love? What sets your heart on fire? Any Music? Okay. When are you going to start putting the music on? Now. They tell my as soon as I get home soon as you get home. A pet you're going to do that you can start doing that. Yes. To a key thing. Here's your body's talking to you. It's letting you know what it wants. It's letting you know how to care for it, but you're not listening. You're closing ear to you're saying too busy. I'm too busy with the kids too busy too busy with this. I don't have time for you body. Leave me alone, right right. What you need to do right now is when that body tugs at your sleeve and says dance. Nurture me take care of me. Respect me. You need to stop what you're doing and you need to honor your body. Because, it won't get big on you if you're paying attention to it. The reason your body gets big is because you're ignoring and it saying to you I'm here dinky..
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"If you're both pessimists. Then, you're in trouble. Really you kind of doomed, aren't you? Well, what happens is. Your spouse does something you make the most pessimistic interpretation of it. She hears that interpretation. She makes the most pessimistic interpretation of you, and then it's off. Your hijacked your hijack. Which means, you can't think straight literally all right? You guys are optimists and pessimists who? You're the optimism pessimist and you're the pessimists. I wonder if there have been studies about whether, women are more optimistic. Or pessimistic. There no real sex differences. Pessimists are not. There are sex differences in high Q. versus low are they're not only in different parts of it. For example, women are more empathic than men, but men are better at controlling certain motions in women's, so it evens out. Okay, so how does your pessimism manifest itself well? The money and discipline the children and My life seems like always got the bomber part of it. He's got the fun part being sales. Getting out and He has the fun part. You have the bummer part. Counting and respectful and I think that's the way you have to deal with people by being courteous and respectful, and that's just a natural to get where you want to go. Okay, so you're saying that's what you are, and that's what she is always trying to be respectful. Courteous, and your wife is also we kind of balance. Each other I think works out very well you do. Did you know she was such a pessimist when you married her I had an inkling. But you're optimistic. Outlook made you think you could change it right well I. Don't think you can remember really changed anybody which coexist. He worked together, okay. This woman had a point Becker standup. Yes, Ma'am! Talking about this Q. You're talking about. It's more a person hood. People getting a sense of who they are. You find out who you are feel good about who you are. Then it helps through to understand others, and that temporary thing. We talked about early. Yeah I. Think it's a cop out. It's a person who has lack of self control, and we see so many faults little things. Throw us off with others this because those tendencies within ourselves that we don't want to accept, so we transfer to somebody else. Thank you a wise one. Thank you. Training and emotional intelligence can also ward off emotional illness. Here's an astonishing fact in this age of self esteem that reliving and teaching kids to feel good depression strikes one quarter of American children. Doctor Seligman is helping to change a lot of this. In Philadelphia children are being taught emotional skills. That could depression proof then for life. Dr Martin Seligman recognized that children. Most likely to become depressed were stuck in bad thinking patterns. They were pessimists and I'll give you one of the three really pessimistic thoughts. This is the hot seat. Only reason this this skill works is because you convince yourself that your pessimism is unfounded. Children are taught to argue with their own negative thoughts and defend themselves against pessimism. You're supposed to watch a little sister after school. You start talking to one of your friends and you lose track of time by the time you get home. You're half an hour late and your mom is very angry. That's a situation and here's your I thought. I can't be trusted everything up. That's not true because usually I don't forget and I take care of my little sister all time so. It works out. That's perfect. That was one of his great ready. I hate my sister always getting in trouble. It's not true because a lot of times when there's nobody else to play with, do anything with. She's there and I can just mess around with her. Saying it out loud makes it second major. How did he fight back against those thoughts? What was he doing? He was saying evidence and he was mentioning different times when he was responsible, and then he could like. Do stuff sister right? A feeling can't be stopped, but we can all change how we think about that feeling, and how long we allow it to last. You were daydreaming and social studies class when the teacher calls on you. You didn't hear the question and when she repeats it. You don't know the answer. All right I thought I. Never know any of the answers. That's not true because I know. A lot of the answers is just at one time I mess up. Optimists believe defeat is only temporary and attitude that war doc, depression. It makes me feel good inside that I don't have to feel like things are permanent all the time. The optimism training works so well. It reduced depression in children by half. It's helped me like just stop and think of something that's positive by the situation something negative and usually the positive rides negative. Doesn't that warm your heart. It warms my heart to know that somebody else. That's what you give me learning. I think that's terrific. What you both are doing because that really is a better citizen to be a better person in the world I think it is. We've got such a sweeping epidemic of depression in kids that in the schools we can teach kids first to recognize the catastrophic thoughts they say to themselves when something bad happens, and then we can teach them the skill of disputing those thoughts in the same way. We disputed if some external rival. Made, those false accusations I thought this would be a really popular class to. Kids enjoy doing this very much. Unlike many forms of treatment like dieting, for example, which it's no fun to keep refusing chocolate cake once you become an ace dispute or of catastrophic thoughts. No one hears going to like me. You feel good right away, so the kids get better and better, and in these studies we find the kids get less and less depressed over time. Parents and teachers can adopt technology to make their children more optimistic. Emotional coaching from parents and teachers is I believe our best hope for the end, the epidemic of depression and violence in our children it goes way beyond depression and violence. Actually every parent should see themselves as the teacher. The teacher the. The kids and news time the moment when a kid is upset as a time to really get in there and teach him. Don't say it'll go away. Don't get mad at them for you know. Don't talk to me like that. Get in their help. Kid understand why they feel. That might help them calmed down. Help them think it through and help them think of many more things they can do in that situation options emotional choice. That's the name of the game, and you can teach your kid how to rethink a situation. You know you're hurt because she wouldn't play with you. Calm Down, go back! Suggest a game you can both play. We know these things you can. Do that Mr in the hardware store with the vast. Well, you never see them. For kids they were setting the circuitry down in the first place. It's never too late for us. It just takes a little longer. Little more participants don't give. I'm Oprah, Winfrey and you've been listening to the Oprah Winfrey show the podcast if you haven't yet apple podcasts and subscribe rate and review this podcast, join me next week for the Oprah show the podcast. I thank you for listening..
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"How are your children being affected by the disintegration of the American family in a recent news week poll, half of the people ask said that their families are in worse shape now than they were ten years ago and no wonder, the divorce rate has doubled since nineteen, sixty five and experts say that one third of all children born in the eighties will live in A. A stepfamily before they grow up on top of that one of every four children lives with a single parent and twenty two percent of today's children were born to a teenage parent, and when it comes to who is watching our children. Two thirds of all mothers work outside the home. If you feel that your family is going a little helter skelter, everybody doing their own. Own Thing and the family unit is falling apart, or if the people you call your family, don't fit the traditional description like the cleavers or the huxtables. We want you all to join family unity workshop. We asked to our studio audience to take several tests so that we could find out how healthy their families are, and now we want you to test your family's health. Health, too, so get a pencil and paper and take this first test. It's called the family rituals test, and the test is taken from a fascinating book written by one of our favorite guests on the Oprah Winfrey show Dr Paul Pearsall renowned family psychologist, and it's called the power of the Family Paul. Glad to have you here. Thank you glad to have you once again. Well. I know the audience is already taken. The test and I went over the test. And what does this ritual tell us know it's a strange thing. Many of the couples we interviewed families didn't have time to take the test because we're too busy to look at one of the family had rituals or not, and one mother looked at me and said we have the Dooby Doo Bee. Doo Syndrome in our family. I said what's this dooby? Dooby Doo Bee Doo, she said we spend too much time doing and not enough time being so the rich test is a measure of whether or not you really give dignity and celebration that the simple daily acts of family life, or you just run right past them and have separate breakfast separate dinner, separate bed times and live alone, even though you're in a group, dignity and celebration I like those choice of words what it sounds kind. Kind of Corny to say that, but we found families that would eat in quiet or fight during dinner. They'd take a bite and say well school Goin- what you're telling me shut up. Don't pick on your brother I've had it with you. This is enough to. Did you enjoy dinner eight? That's really what's happening and it's not that the family is failing. We are failing our families, and if we don't make enough time at least a. A Saddam most families didn't even sit down for dinner. That's what the ritual test. Let's see. I think children are in crisis in this country, but children are in crisis only because families are in crisis. That's where it starts. That's what we think that these children just didn't refer to their families much anymore. Children are aware of rituals. They'll pointed out to you. Sometimes. They'll say mom we. We always used to do it that way. We shouldn't do this even the simple act of saying grace I. Don't mean to get too pushy about those type of things, but we saw people. Sam So fast. You couldn't tell her saying grace. Somebody be grabbing, food. What happened to the idea of just sitting down a moment, you know the old idea we used to say. Sit Down and shut up. Okay I. Tell You what we wanted to do. Now. Let's go through the test. Can we do that? The test of the family rituals and our audience is already answered these questions, and perhaps maybe if you watching it home with answer these questions, you'd get a clear idea about where your family is right now I. Question. Does your family move is one unit when it walks a group or does someone dragged behind? I found that very interesting because I said. If you're walking down the street, everybody can't walk at the same time. Honesty families go to shopping centers and you'll see these somebody's lagging behind. The fodders looks discussed. It I'll go sit there. You go shop. I'll meet you in the lot. If you'RE GONNA. Do it. do it together. Okay now. Who who answered that question? No, now why why Antonio Yep? Because whenever I'm walking with my husband, he's either always pushing the child or walking the dog, or whatever so he's far ahead or five behind and there we go as a separate unit else walks is a separate unit. I know. Some people lied on the test to see that. Some people lied on the tests. They want us to think they're to huxtables, not only lie, but some people don't pay enough attention to. My husband is sixty five. He always walks a few steps ahead of I'm always behind standard. Intentional! I tell stem this all the time, too, because his legs are so long that when he takes a step, I have to take one and a half for every step that he takes so we're in the airport and I'm looking like we're from foreign country. Walk Twelve paces behind. A lot I sometimes have to turn around and wonder why she's like a blockbuster. Because your legs are so much longer. Yeah, okay. What does that really isn't the walking style you? Yes, it's certainly cause I'm kind of Tom Lanky to my family alive behind, but this issue the attitude while you're doing this. Is there some attempt interesting family say come on, catch up. Let's all go look at this rather than I'm going to the store you go to. The dresses will lose the kids if we can and will meet in the lot, it's really the attitude is not just the distance. Doesn't that mean in some way that that person feels separate from you? Well, that's the tragedy. Tragedy sounds a little corny, but it's just like we're not really doing this together. We're going to get hurt close. He's gotTa get three pairs of slacks. I'm sick of the shopping any way faster. We get it done. The better somebody's disgusted. That's not doing it together. That's not a ritual. It's a routine routine is just getting done. Ritual is a celebration of the doing
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"Well, the point is what is happening. All the caregivers and the family and everybody was looking at the patient who's progressing as ls where there are no proven survivors unfortunately. These are. Good? I consider myself a pass to thinker. I love my family. My husband loves me. My Mom and dad love me. Everybody loves everybody okay. I'm still getting sick or what? I'm still going on and live in my life right? I'm having two children and I started. My own foundation that gives raises money to give emotional psychological support plus I work with the less Turner who does three surgeries, but my point is to the people who were physically suffering. Right, you are, but our other people having a problem giving you sympathy, giving you care, and so forth by saying to you the patient. Are you not trying hard enough? And that's the whole point. People in general who are showing the disease. Or AIDS lesser anything. How then are lousy friends? Who Make you feel guilty gear are terrible therapists who make. You feel guilty. Okay, but there are there out the. Individual with the illness is the great healer. All right I think. I'm Oprah Winfrey and you've been listening to the Oprah Winfrey show the podcast. If you haven't yet go to apple podcasts and subscribe rate and review this pipe pass join me next week for another Oprah show the podcast. I. Thank you for listening..
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"Twenty Five seasons four thousand five hundred sixty one episodes. I believe the Oprah Winfrey show was one of the greatest classrooms in the world Rolling never thought of it that way. The moments the breakthroughs the connections the occasional ugly cry so terribly every single minute the L. O. Ell's the moments that matter. I opening light lessons..
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"Taught me early that love hurts and therefore as long as my wife continue to cook clean beat me. I'm GonNa always be there because sharing is caring and love hurts. I learned early and I think that's a real good lesson but I don't think it only hurts and I don't believe that beating children is an act of love. I don't believe that well of course it feels good sometime to John. Yeah I mean I want to say well look if it hurts you more than me. Let me do it to you and I sure don't want you to hurt here but I think that the point is good. That look if love was easy. We'd all have it. It's not easy and that's another thing that we've got to learn that it's GonNa time it's going to take attention it's GonNa take effort is GonNa take commitment. It's going to be a decision much. More than a feeling in love is a feeling love is a decision and I think. That's a real important distinction. Now if you grow up in a family and you can never have your own will then. How can you make a decision? Because you've never been allowed to make a decision so when you're in your fault self you're just a robot acting out a roll of fault cell. So in love is feeling love itself as a decision absolutely at least that's a major distinction as I said earlier. You speak a lot about soulful love. How do we begin to find that? Well I call soul. Whatever is most human? Ns like soul music soul food. Soulful love is when we're being the most human being human means imperfect limited not having unrealistic expectations. The wounded child wants the unconditional love of mother. But I can't expect that of my wife or my spouse or the person I'm in a relationship with adults have conditional love that is we contract. I love you you love me. The child expects unconditional love so when people get married they start making demands. You never can't you ever and I always and you never and you hear children just screaming at each other to very deprived. Children screaming for the developmental needs that they didn't get. That's what's so interesting about marriage if you don't understand how marriage works out really works because you pick as you say in your book as a number of people have written about this also that you pick the person who has the traits of your parents and most of the negative traits of your parents. So it's like two four year olds coming together. I draw little pictures a big people and little people and there's a contract between the big people I will love you forever and the kids are going. Oh Boy oh boy. You're my father. You're going to be the father I never had. You're going to be the mother I never had. It's an unrealistic expectation. So what's going on in your marriage? Well we're separated in trying darndest to work it out. We were married. We've been married for two and a half years when we were married. We brought our childhoods into our marriage not knowing what they were and it exploded interface. Someone told me I'd marry someone just like my dad and I did. I did most people do though. That's the mystification that were walking around in a kind of a trance. Forgive you know first thing to do is forgive yourselves? You did the best you could. Second thing is you're responsible for your wound. And he's responsible for his wound if you try to make him take care of your wound and he tries to make you take care of his wound it work. Then you're back in the source relationships for example I have engulfing issues with women because my mother more or less engulfed me. So what happens when I start getting too close? I want out of there okay but I always find women who have abandonment issues. You get this so the second. I'm getting out of there. They're going crazy over here now. What I've learned and what I'm creating in a relationship is that I'd take responsibility for my wound right. I'll say look. I'm in my wound right now. Are She might say. I'M IN MY WOUND. And then we negotiate. But I don't try to take care of her wound or else. I'm back in my source relationship Sam back trying to make my mom happy and that so interesting. Don't you think this interesting? Because that's what people marry for a married Mary. Because you want that person to take care of your rulings. And the person never can take care of your. Whoa now. They can't do it because you would have to be a child again and they would have to be your parent absolutely. Does it ever work? Well it works if two people you know like I say we have to grow up. We have to embrace our loneliness. I am responsible for my wound. I can't blame that on my mother or anybody else. I need to fix it. I need to grow up. That's you know that's the issue. When I'm willing to do that I can say look. I'm this is about me and my history. It's not about you. I'm feeling overwhelmed right now. I need a day by myself and two people can contract that and work it out. But isn't the problem in a lot of marriages that the person thinks the other person is causing their problem that they don't relate the problem that's going on in the marriage to whatever happened with the wound. Think the spouse is the one who's creating the problem for them absolutely. I think if you're never getting your own needs met if you're angry all the time are you're depressed all the time that somehow love causes both of you to grow. And if you're not growing you're not expanding then call it something else but I wouldn't call it love. The other piece of it is is that I've been very critical of people in my relationship because what I learned in my shame was all or nothing I tried to be more than human perfect judgmental critical are less than human. Just be a SLOB. I just go back and forth between the two. Somehow the love is based on healthy. Shame what's healthy. Shame I make mistakes. I'm limited. I'm not God that I'm human and the person I'm with her I'm GonNa find the pantyhose all wadded up in the corner. It is going to be the you know the mother Theresa and I've gotTa get it that to be. Human is to be fallible to make mistakes and that. I really accept that in my partner. I accept their idiosyncrasies and their bills. Okay except my so as you were saying that about marriages and how you have to fix your own wounds. The question is. Are you both willing to do that? I can speak for myself. I've I'm in a program right now. We're kind of redefining. What I am myself learning about all the things that happened in the past with my my parents and I think only by route redefining what I am. Will we have a chance to work together? Redefining and then taking responsibility for yourself. Exactly I really support you in. That really sounds good. Both of you. Yes you wanted to say what I've been doing. A lot of work on the inner child work and learning to love my inner child. And what I'm having a problem with is the fact that when I was young I learned that the only person I could trust was myself I had to find my own survival skills to get through life. How do I get rid of those and that person because that person got me through it? Sure well you see. There's sort of two extremes one is that you just get totally absorbed and enmeshed you become confused with the people you're with the other. Is You isolate? Put a wall around you. Say I don't need anybody I can make it and what you're describing is more that second one so it's once again you're GONNA have to risk coming out. You're going to have to risk letting go of your own self sufficiency and learn to rely on somebody. I mean it's been one of hardest things for me to let somebody take care of me because it's scary to me. You've been the caretaker. Caretaker feels too vulnerable but like in my workshops. Now I have a guy that takes care of me. I just take the brakes and see. I've found that by letting someone else in like that. I'm really making contact that I've never made before and letting the person I love. Take Care of me at times and not always being see. Caretakers are always in control. That's another thing to remember that one of the cover ups for toxic. Shame is to control everybody. Then you can never catch me off guard then I can never be exposed so so real. Soulful love means equality that each one of us are willing to give up control. I had a point in a relationship where my the lady I said you go to therapy with me and I went out just a minute. I'm in my head I did this. I'm not going to your Mickey Mouse. Therapy hit all this. I went and it was the best thing I could have possibly done. Because it was a symbolic act of giving up control. If you will like to just read for the closing here what you say in the beginning of the book you say Love Yourself or creating your trans love yourself for being willing to see how you created it and how you may still be creating it. You can stop doing it now. The danger has passed. You saved a child from dying. You saved yourself love yourself now for the hope that you have. You wouldn't be working on yourself if you didn't have hope thank you much. I'm Oprah Winfrey and you've been listening to the Oprah Winfrey. Show the podcast if you haven't yet go to apple podcasts. And subscribe to rate and review. This podcast join me next week. For another Oprah show the podcast. I thank you for listening..
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"Twenty Five seasons four thousand five hundred sixty one episodes. I believe the Oprah Winfrey show was one of the greatest classrooms in the world Rolling never thought of it that way. The AHA moments the breakthroughs. The connections the occasional ugly cry so terribly every single minute L. O. Ell's the moments that matter. I opening light lessons. Never allow them to take you somewhere else. I'm bringing them back. It's time to open the ball. I personally chosen these classic episodes to share with you again. Every single person you ever will need shares that common desire. They want to know. Do you see me. Do you hear me. That's what I say mean anything to you. You're listening to the OPRAH WINFREY. Show the PODCAST SO. I have a confession to make. And that is that in spite of all the support. I have and I have a lot of people helping me do what I do this show in particular and all the help that I have at home. There are days when I feel completely overwhelmed. Anybody else feels that way so I really cannot imagine what it is like for mothers. Who is I've been saying since I've been doing this show? I think mothers have the hardest job on earth whether you work in. Stay inside the home or outside the home. It's just the most difficult job on earth. It's often not acknowledged so the thought of not just taking care of myself but also an entire family makes my brain wanted. Implode sometime so really. I honor those of you. Who Do this job? Well of raising your family's today show is for anybody who feels are has felt overwhelmed. I am telling you your wakeup call to slow down. Because what happened to my guests could so easily happen to any of you. It was very hard trying to be the perfect mom and the perfect employee. I've said so many times I try to be everything to everybody. And he goes back into the job when the kids in the friends. And I've always been the kind of person that lived for doing things for other people. Brinda slobby says it being an assistant? Principal and mother of two was a constant challenge. Because.
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"My second victim didn't tell. Yeah okay. Is there anything your victim? Your five year old victim could have done to stop you know if she told the first time that might have stopped me for a little bit because when she told it didn't stop me. Is there anything that five year old could have done to have stopped you? Had she known more yes she could she just told me no ramble and I had so much low for that. I wouldn't have that I feel in my art. That's what I would have done. Is there anything your daughter could have done to have stopped? You did to turn me very proud of her for that. She's every right to protect yourself and I'm glad you took that initiative to protect yourself into your child's cues and if you think listen to me now you think something is going on you're saying to yourself that doesn't feel right or that seems a little weird then it probably is. That's called instinct. That is the warning. And that's the sign and that's what it feels like so if your child watching this and it is happening to you the best way to make it. Stop is to tell somebody and if they don't believe you you keep telling until somebody does because molesters do not want you to talk. Tell Somebody Today. I have felt this for years. That this whole issue of molestation sexual abuse is so misunderstood. -solutely it's so misunderstood. Because everybody thinks what you read in the paper is what is happening to every child right and they think that's what's happening you know. My child would tell me right. Somebody was torturing them or if it was a horrible experience I think the unspoken shame is that for millions of us who were molested. It was not at the time horrible. It was not a horrific experience because if somebody is treating you horribly and causing you pain you are going to tell and every molester knows that is that not true. Do you feel that? You've been cured by the therapy process by your probation. I think I am being cured. I do not think I am there yet. Would you trust yourself around children? I try not to be around children because I do. I like children too much and so I just won't be around. Is it like being an alcoholic where you have to work on a day at a time that every day? You're working on it. Darren young believe so because I can't say I'll never offend again because if I get back to the dark place I was before I could possibly offend again. I think the difference is now is that I recognize the pain. I've caused at the time of my offense. I was not recognizing the pain causing. I don't want to hurt anybody. You offend again. No I can say I will not offend again. How do you not back then? I wasn't a happy person using drugs so I was drinking. I didn't care who I heard it was like I didn't have any feelings toward anyone in the world and now I've got these tools to help me with my triggers to help me with my inner problems. I feel happy if I put you in a room with a group of gorgeous fourteen year old girls. Would you be a danger to them? No you would not. Will you ever offend again? Probably not I mean. It's it's not something I can never say. An absolute already crossed. That line wants and being in therapy. Now I've had a good long look at a lot of really deep horrible issues that I have with me and I'm always going to be a damaged person but at least now I can see that I can work on it and I can you know I can live my life being a better person. Well these are four guys who are willing to talk about it. There are obviously millions. Who would not? So I want to thank David and Darren and Leeann Robert for being so candid and open and their therapist. Don Horowitz per person for lending her support and it is really my hope having been talking about this for years and years that this conversation opens a lot of eyes and minds and hearts by everybody. I'm Oprah Winfrey and you've been listening to the Oprah Winfrey. Show the podcast if you haven't yet go to apple podcasts. And subscribe rate and review. This podcast. Join me next week. For another Oprah show the podcast. I thank you for listening..
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on The Oprah Winfrey Show: The Podcast
"Be shaped forward on a lot of sexual partners and I've done some pretty bad things like I smoke a lot of weed. Which isn't good. Tell us more sexual partners. Throw it out appoximately number. It's been like twenty two maybe tells How you felt through these experiences about one or two of them were cool but like the the ones are just like robot. I don't know I just. It wasn't really anything but doing that. As a robot makes you feel it made me feel like better. Do you feel that. That's pretty much the most important thing you have to offer men pretty much. It's it felt like it's made me give up guys and there's a person that I'm talking to. That is a girl to lot easier in. Phils more natural for some reason with these guys I haven't done anything sexual with her or anything like that. I talked to guys like I'm still attracted to him but I don't WanNa be the guy. Okay that's all that's all. You're not saying that you're a lesbian. You're not what I hand acurite. I don't know how to answer. We'RE NOT HERE TO BLAME. Your parents say it's all their fault but the fact is that the parents staying connected with you. Had they been able to work their relationship? It might have made you feel less lost unless confused and nobody else's again except me so I need you guys so when you say. I don't know how to answer that you know. I'm I'm always going to accept. Okay I sense that you have difficulty with it yes eight. It just don't want to hear it so you don't you just kind of blow it off. No I hear what you're saying. I hear exactly what you're saying. I just don't believe that I'm in a position to say. Okay it is okay. I understand that you are confused but I'm not going to accept I can't accept it because the way I was raised. It's not acceptable kitchen. Do something that's not okay and you can disagree but that does not mean that you can't accept it and love them. No matter what choice they make for themselves. She can know that it's not okay and it's not cool with you but that does not mean that you can't say I love you. I accept you. He's right. I won't condone it but I'm still love you because I do believe that things do happen for a reason so so. I'm going to be there if you need to talk to me. Whatever whatever reason because I don't want you to take the same road again and because we were. I wasn't there before because I was the one left. Your Dad didn't tell you anything and I'm GONNA take that road again because I'm not gonNA lose you just because you know. This is the path that you chose take. I love you too much for that key message. Here's what Belinda was saying. She left Albany's dad and did not tell ebony any thing and again I say when you don't know how to talk to your kids when you leave and you ignore their feelings when you think they're just kids and they'll get over it you end up damaging them forever avenues. Parents are courageous enough to be here. J. D. and Belinda. Have joined us when you heard. Blenda Ebony on the tape say that the moment this all changed for her was when she walked in the room and saw you kissing the other guy and that she felt that you were the biggest hypocrite and that a part of all of this acting out which on her part has pretty evolved to know that one of the reasons why I'm doing. This is because my mother so hypocritical. So I'm going to show her. Yeah when you heard that what did you think riphil? G Choosy allies at. That kiss had had that kind of impact. I had no idea it was only thinking of myself at that time and she didn't even come into play. Although we were always together I found out about the kiss only a few days ago. So totally embarrassed found out about the kiss me and you didn't know she had seen the kiss right. You didn't even know. She didn't know she told her that. I knew she'd saying it but I didn't know what she had told her bed until only a few weeks ago. I didn't even and it's been seven years since we've been divorced and I didn't know all of this. She carried. We treated her like an basically like an adult so I didn't even think it affected him in any way because she how we acted in the house. But how can you say you treated her like an adult as an adult? If you were gonNA leave you would explain why you're leaving in. That's a good point but we don't where I was how I guess how has raised. We just didn't talk about a lot of things. Go things just happen? We understand that and so that's how I did with her. So let's talk about what you what you both decided to tell or not tell Ebony so did you decide. Did you sit ebony down and say we're going to now be be separating and these are the reasons why no said nothing to Ebony. Never I didn't know you guys were getting worse so after the divorce. I just remember one day. We're at home the next day. Me Mommy are moving out. We're packing up. That's how it happened and I blocked a lot and is sound like a cop out but I just blocked a lot of things out because I was only thinking of me at that time. Gary says if you think your kids are GonNa come to you with their biggest problems. You're dead wrong. Why shame I mean how? Many of us has teenagers. Were running to our parents with every problem that we had so you know my wife and I we have five children and we sat down with our children at every single parent should do this. We identified two adults that we trust and they trust in their lives and we all met together and we said listen. We want you to come to us. Of course we'll never judge. You always love you. But here's the deal. If you don't feel like you can come to us. Here's two people you can go to individually and they we give them permission to make decisions on our behalf for you and they never have to tell us. If that's what's going to work for you that way. At least we know as parents. Our children are using adults with experience to help them guide them instead of their colleagues. Everyone should do it. But it's like a substitute parent. Yes go to parent. It's a Goto parent. That's a great idea but ebony thank you for having the for being brave enough to. Don't you feel better? I do actually a lot better. Yeah don't you feel that now you can create another life for yourself because you're past is really just that it's the pass. It's really hard trying to change yourself by by yourself. You need help to change your lifestyle so now that you've released that you can leave that in past and move forward and start to be who you really are because that's what life is all about becoming more who you really are. And that's what I wish for you today. I'm really proud of you. I'm very proud of you that you had the courage to do that. Thank you all. Thank you I'm Oprah Winfrey. And you've been listening to the Oprah Winfrey show the podcast if you haven't yet go to apple podcasts. And subscribe rate and review. This podcast. Join me next week. For another Oprah show the podcast. I thank you for listening..
"oprah winfrey" Discussed on Oprah's SuperSoul Conversations
"Is chapter of your own tickets are on sale now go to W. W. dot com slash oprah for more information I'm Oprah Winfrey welcomed many times the Guy I was like no maybe it's not maybe someone else maybe if he did and it was so confusing in my mind and then they said my name and I thought I'd case as Lupita described the essence women in Hollywood luncheon and a speech that went viral I remember a time when I two felt on beautiful I put on the t wanted to write a children's book partly because People's encouraged me after making that speech to make it into a children's book but I thought you know making that speech and children's book wasn't.