36 Burst results for "melissa"
Fresh update on "melissa" discussed on WTOP 24 Hour News
"Montgomery County, there's a new push to change Maryland State song and keep it from being played. Lawmakers are addressing its roots in the Confederate song, Maryland. My Maryland was written by James Randall, writer in response to the Pratt Street riots that took place in Baltimore in 18 61. It was a standoff between Union soldiers heading to Washington and Confederate sympathizers. The song was writer's way of supporting the Confederacy. It became the state's song in 1939 and now the Montgomery County Council wants to change that. Today. The council will urge state lawmakers to replace the song and keep it from being played at public events in the county. There have been unsuccessful calls to change the song's lyrics in the past, but the council says the current Social justice movement presents a new opportunity to take action. Melissa how w. T O P NEWS it's or Union decades In the making. Holocaust Survivor Lily Ebert was able to meet the family of an American soldier who helped save her from a Nazi death camp. The search for him began with a note from the past and some help from social media. Now 90 years old Lily, who lives in London, shared the note and story with her great grandson. He then turned to social media to search for the soldier. And suddenly I get on with it. And I had a few 1000 notifications on then Suddenly someone tweeted me saying this must be the soldier. The soldier turned out to be private Haman, showman of New York, who died nine years ago, Lily finally got her chance to think his family time I looked there because it was for me. Something special. The outreach came as a surprise to Shulman's family. The private never told them about the encounter. That CBS reporter Ian Lee coming up in money news, whose day rally on Wall Street a big airline just slashed summer flights in half. I'm Jeff, Level 5 54 You're a procurement officer you dot every I and cross.
San Antonio honors Houston-born Vanessa Guillen with convoy
"Hundreds of people drove in a convoy through San Antonio Saturday to remember US Army specialist Vanesa G in who was recently found dead after going missing from Fort Hood back in April. Alencar Zilu of K E. N S T. V has more These vehicles are flashy and attractive. They get people's attention. That attention is a valuable thing to Melissa Gonzalez, and I think it's just important to you. To honor her service and let everyone know that we are here for them. That's why she started organizing a convoy with her Jeep club in honor of US Army specialist Vanesa G in who went missing from Fort Hood in April. Her remains were identified after being found near the Leon River.
Police seize gun from St. Louis couple who pointed weapons at protesters
"ST Louis Circuit attorney Kim Gardener says she is investigating and came walks is Maria Kino Talk with Patrick and Mark McCloskey's attorney about what's next Mark McCloskey's rifle was seized by ST Louis police during a search warrant of their home, but his wife's handgun had been in the possession of their attorney, Al Watkins. He was keeping it to preserve evidence that the weapon was inoperable, according Tto Watkins. Reason I can imagine that the circuitry would want those weapons is because one of the elements of one potential crime That the circuit attorney may try to twist or manipulate to apply to this situation is unlawful use of a weapon. Watkins contends that felony charge would not apply to this situation. This is one which is you're going to really, really go outside of the bell curve of legally recognized normalcy and move forward with one of the elements of that crime is that the person charged of the crime had to be using a weapon that was readily capable of grave bodily harm, Watkins maintains. He's had Patricia McCloskey's handgun since June 28th and that it was an operable Maria Kino State. Melissa's NewsRadio Camelot Flores, a man's identified as the victim of a fatal crash overnight on westbound I 70 at
Cereal brands reevaluate mascots to fit the modern day
"Been rethinking their outdated corporate mascots and Jemima uncle Ben Mrs Butterworth. At the same time, a group of young entrepreneurs have set out to create new breakfast cereal characters that reflect this moment. NPR's Mandali del Barco reports. Emily. At least, Miller says the new cereal she and her team created off limits has brand mascots, unlike any other dash is a high strung, high achieving female bunny in an eighties style power suit with sneakers. She's a K pop fan. A workaholic, and she says Dash has a lot of anxiety to deal with. So her cereal turns the milk to cold brew and has coffee and chocolate zombie is just the opposite. A lazy dude who looks like he just rolled out of bed to eat his mellow cereal. There's adapted Jin's Pond on Vanilla, so everything you need to mellow out. Miller, 29 year old food writer is all about breakfast. In fact, she wrote breakfast a cookbook, and she created the breakfast club walking tours of New York restaurants. Her latest venture off limits. Serial also seems to appeal to millennials. Miller's hoping they might relate to zombie who has a bit of Bart Simpson or dash more of Ah, Lisa Simpson. The whole brand is really run by these emotionally unstable and extreme cartoon characters. Dashing zombie are a far cry from the buff, confident cereal mascot Tony the Tiger. Cash is not the first female serial character in the early 19 fifties. Kellogg's Sugar Frosted Flakes was rep. For a short time by Katie the Kangaroo who wore a bandanna and carried her baby in her pouch. I'm Katie, the kangaroo I have been given bound around you guy within that takes all night, just like an attending. Do you like Kellogg's ultimately bounced Katie The kangaroo for Tony. The Tiger, also dropping sugar from its name Fast forward to 2020 where cold and hot cereals are more than $20 billion industry in the U. S. According to market data firm statistic, with sales expected to grow To succeed. Cereal brands have to be nostalgic, healthy or have more modern mascot, says analyst Melissa Abbott. There's a demand for something completely different that isn't no masculine 20. The Tiger Macho Abbott is vice president of culinary insights at the Hartmann Group. She says cereal is not just a breakfast food. New brands are pro mode on podcasts and purchased online, Abbott says off Limits and another new cereal brand magic spoon appealed to a different aesthetic. These characters that are going to win essentially today and particularly in the breakfast category, they have Tio contain more of this multi dimensional take on the on the human personality. The flaws and all, Abbott says consumers might like that off limits. Characters were designed by artist Shepard Fairey's studio. Now the question is, Will they go for coffee flavored cereal repped by a stressed out bunny in a power suit? Handle it. Al Barco
Muscling up to China and 25 years since Srebrenica
"Tom Switzer, he and welcome to another episode off between the lines now today on the program will be commemorating the twenty fifth anniversary of Europe's worst massacre since the Holocaust in ninety, ninety, five more than eight thousand people died in Shrimp Nitsa. The town was supposed to be a U N protected safe haven in the vicious civil war that tore Yugoslav apart instead the civilians ended up being massacred by Bosnian Serbs. Were lightning fast with their superior weapons. They easily overran the lightly. I'm Bosnian government troops and the token full civilian peacekeepers. The UN's Valley to protect the civilians inspired Washington to launch unilateral action against Serbia and end the civil war. Would things be the same today now? That's later in the program, but first defense. Last week the Morrison. Government launched a defence strategy and force structure review now the move signals a major shift away from the strategy outlined in the last defence white paper. Remember that just four years ago in two thousand sixteen. It plotted out Australia's strategic costs for the next decade. But that White Paper has as we know been rapidly overtaken by Vince covert China or that now the new review has promised two hundred and seventy billion dollars over the next decade to enhance Australia's defence capabilities with renewed focus on areas like Saba and spice capabilities and the possible development of hop sonic weapons will be fitting aircraft with long-range anti-ship missiles, increasing underwater surveillance and boosting fuel ammunitions reserves. Now, underscoring the seriousness of the shift, the Prime Minister even drew comparisons to the nineteen thirties and the lead up to world. War Two that period of the nineteen thirties. Is Been Something I've been revisiting on a very regular basis and when you connect by the economic challenges and the global uncertainty. It can be very haunting, but is the money too much or not enough is going to all the right places, and we'll do enough to safeguard Australia from China's increasing assertiveness and is rapidly growing military capabilities. What's the role of Australia's diplomacy? And all of this will joining me to discuss this at three distinguished guests. By skill is professor of Asia Pacific Security Studies at Macquarie University Holiday Bites. Thank you good to be here Melissa Conley. Tar is a research fellow at the Asia Institute at the University of Melbourne. Hi There Melissa could to speak again Tom. And Pay. The Jennings is executive director of the Australian Strategic Policy Institute. Tom No. Can you talk us through the top of scenarios and potential conflicts that the defense review is preparing us for the scenario that the review is focusing on is one involving a high end conventional conflict, so I've gone to the days of stabilization operations in t more Counterterrorism operations in Afghanistan This document is preparing foresight on onsite conflict. Involving countries that have sophisticated military forces. And, of course, the document doesn't say. I don't think it would be reasonable to expect it to say. That China is the problem. But let me tell you China is the problem that is the now neoplasia competitive that way of thinking about when we think about what's adequate in terms of the topic of military capability we need to have. and to does reflect to change. From past years Tom I recall when I started by defense career, we were thinking much more about the risks presented by Indonesia, and the so called low level in cushions in the northwest. Of course, that's no longer features in anyone's strategic thinking. Really it's about China and the risks that the People's Republic is presenting to all of its neighbors in abroad since in the Indo Pacific region and beyond I cabinet crudely putting it some sites laying the groundwork for fortress Australia US sign. This is preparing us to join a potential use LID. Containment slash war against China for example to protect Taiwan Peter Jennings. I think that is it covers a spectrum of possibilities. One possibility which I think is Epson you were in terms of language of the document is that we might conceivably end up having to face military conflict without being able to rely on the direct combat support of the United States, and that's what leads to discussions around extra stockpiling munitions and fuel insightful. But I think in general terms. Yes, the expectation is that Australia. Through its history has been a country that forms coalitions usually have like minded partners, the share the same types of objectives. And the the plan will design the Defense Force. Really gives us the capacity to do that with Rachel Ellis lecture, example, Japan but also with our traditional ally the United States okay bates skill. You've recently completed a review of China's defense capabilities and its recent military modernization, specifically looking at the implications for Australia Wind you expect the Peo- The People's Liberation Army and its navy. When do you expect them to have the capability to project power as far as Australia annual Pacific knives, well in many respects Tom, they already can I mean they have the long range missile capabilities to do that? Know as a from a standoff position launched from their own from their own homeland against hours. But what I think, the the new strategy is looking at is really the development of capability over the next ten fifteen twenty years, and that's by the Chinese own own acknowledged calendar that they would be able to by that time of mass, a large enough capability, both in terms of its long range strike, you know striking from their own homeland, but also bill to project. Project Power passed the so-called first and second island change and being a position to more directly threatened through those platforms Australian security. So you know we're talking ten or fifteen year window here and I think given the time it does take to try and respond to develop the the deterrent and defense capabilities for Australia. That's that's you know that's in some ways a short window. for Australia to be mobilizing in reaction Melissa Tali. What's the role of a strong diplomacy and all these well I think it needs to be growl. And one of the concerns when we look at the deteriorating strategic environment is we think all that's a defense problem? And so when the prime minister launches the strategic update with those comparisons with the nineteen thirties. It pushes US toward seeing in purely military terms but we don't just want to say things in that security lands, we want to think about all of the parts about national power projection, so that's diplomacy and development as well as defense I think if if people thought about it I think what we invest in all three strongly, but that's not where it is if you look at federal budget fifty. Fifty nine billion to defense and less than seven billion to diplomacy and development together the lowest point with ahead in our history and I think we missing that opportunity. If we don't take US seriously, the way that diplomacy and development can shape things in the world so I was struck. Today was a defendant looking at the latest poll on what are the major concerns that Australians have at the moment of the top threats in the world and the first five, a role nontraditional that drought, environment, disaster, climate change, pandemics, and downtown, global economy, and those places where you know military spending isn't going to help shape that environment. So we need to have an effect on those. We need to be thinking much more about what we can do in the diplomacy and development to mind Peter Jennings. What would you say in to Melissa's observations? Because they reflect a certain mindset that that perhaps we should be focused more on non state actors rather than say China for instance well, I think all of these you know threats that have to be taken seriously. I'm and simply because we're living in the middle of a pandemic for example, doesn't the climate change is gone away in this no longer going to present a problem to us. I guess what I'd say. Is that the you know the five things Melissa listed? That were in the featured in the low e Poland terms of popular concerns. Are also the things which could. In different ways late to the risks of conflict escalating in the Indo Pacific region generally so You know my my view, please while I would like to see spending on diplomacy increased. While I. Say Development Assistance is being something which is effectively the United soft in of Australian power, and the military is the hot end of Australian power. I think. The message against all of these areas is that we have just been underinvesting for decades underinvesting for decades, so we're we're all. High fiving ourselves at just reaching about two percent of gross national product, being spent on defense, but that is compared to what we spending in cold or years, which was sometimes between three and a half percent in four percent of rustic product. So what we have grown used to Tom I would say is. Free written on the United. States code tiles of security for for decades. We've dramatically under. Invested in the things that we need to do to strengthen Australia's position, not just militarily, but also diplomat. A now. We're rather surprised to hear the news that Gosh the bill is a lot more expensive than we really thought. It was only if you've got that confidence in the US. and. In fact, the whole trump stories, the story of the Americans really big being fed up with the rest of the world, thinking that the US can fund the bill for their security, so we're going to have to do more and I think we're going to have to do it against multiplicity of areas not. Justin sought the defense organization. We'll some scholars such as you want and James Current from the University of Sydney. They say that this document sounds a lot like an acknowledgement that the US might not always be there to help us out. By are we starting to plan for more independent Australian defense posture I think it would be a wise move to keep that option open when you think of the capabilities that the Chinese developing in which do have a direct pose a direct threat to Australia or could do so. In many respects, the I think the types of threats that you might not expect an immediate or even timely response on the part of the United States what I'm thinking here. Cyber capabilities is a huge priority for the Chinese. We already know what they see the sort of capability. They can wield against Australia and that's not the sort of thing you can expect a kind of cavalry to. Lead the charge from from Washington to come to Australia's defence slowly long range strike capability on the part of the Chinese capability. They already have in which are going to continue to develop. which could threaten Australia down the road now? These are capabilities that I think that Australia's going to have to develop their own defenses for. They can certainly do that with United States, but again it's not necessarily the sort of threat that we would expect some sort of traditional ally joint response not to make it well. Some of are in listeners will email me and they'll say that if Uncle Sam struggles to police. It's own CDs. Melissa. How on Earth Can Uncle Sam Police? The Asia Pacific region in the face of a rising China. What's your sense about us staying power in the next decade or two in look? It's difficult One of the things that strategic update looks at is more threats to the global rules order, and unfortunately the you know, the US is part of that. the US is not along with the strategies interest on things like global trading system, and a number of international issues like global health where we would say you need to be supporting. A Global Response that said I don't think the strategic update will be read negatively in. Washington, it's my guess. it very clearly couched in terms that I think the US will lock about Australia contributing more and having more self. that could be seen as a statement that we think that the US might not have outback, but can also be seen as something that the US has been for for a long time. I particularly liked a few elements of the update things like making sure that we have. You know material ammunition You know that aren't going to be disrupted. Buckle supply trying having more capability eight industrial cut suffering capability here antiques fuel reserves, which is not as long sane as an issue for us, so I mean those are things that are worth investing in. Regardless of US resolve because as we've seen from COVID, we know that supply chain can be disrupted very quickly and easily, and it's worth having eligibilities. Cepeda Jennings bite skill and Melissa Conley Toilet and Melissa. The Pacific step up last year. That realigned Australia's development budget to deal with some of the strategic challenges posed by China in the Pacific Do you think it goes far enough? The step up was followed recently by strategies new International Development Policy Partnerships for recovery, and that's made it very clear that strategies focus should be on the Pacific and also southeast. Asia including. Indonesia and team August. I think that has a very clear statement about what we want. In the region of being entrusted trusted development partner and influencing those societies that we think positive for four region. Again you're going to. You're going to say you. Hear this from me all the time, but again the problem is that we not really making much invasive lunch, so partnerships for recovery head no new money it talked about the massive challenges that covered as as creating for for the for the Pacific, and for for our region broadly, and the only funding announcement was that we're going to repurpose the money. We would have spent on sending Australian. Volunteers in scholarship holders. And we're GONNA use that so I I suppose I. Feel a little bit with all the areas, not actually include district update in that as well that what we've seen through the foreign policy, White Paper and International Development Policy through to to the defense. Strategic Updike is. We talk about how. how? What a time! These these frosty leaving a contested difficult awful environment that we've now got to leave in and the Dow L. Easy Times over, and then we say, and we're not gonNA. Give any new money so I mean the defense announcement is essentially just that we're going to continue to you know, extrapolate out the money that was planned to be spent in the twenty twenty six, and we're going to extrapolate that out to twenty thirty terabytes skill. Do we risk getting into a bidding war for influence in the Pacific? I don't know if it's a risk. If it is a risk worth worth taking. I mean obviously the Pacific region is so extremely important Australia's future. Both for for defense reasons for regional engagement for diplomatic reasons, developing reasons and the like. so It's quite possible that we're entering in a more competitive phase with China in this. SITES WRIST BYTES I'm talking about more the budgetary concerns he because in the wake of the Corona Virus Crosses. There'll be serious limits on how we can spend on these things scholley. Yes, there is and party left to be be developed for that, but you know when you're talking about your own backyard. I mean I I. I don't think it's the kind of country that can simply. Pretended it's by itself getting back pay to Jennings to the region, generally in the rise of what. Angus Campbell is of the Defence Force he's talked about the rise of political warfare, the idea of grey zone warfare things like cyber attacks, economic coercion influence operations that fall below the traditional threshold of war. He says we need a whole of government response to it. I, you seeing that whole of government approach happening in Campbell, or is this Manley focus on defense and the spy agency so far Peter Jennings. It probably is focused on the national security agency's Tom. That's not too surprising because you'd expect them to sort of pick up on the risks I. But General Campbell is right. It does need to be all government is. There's a whole lot of things happening there that simply cannot and should not be done by defense organizations. and. I think that realization is slowly dawning. Along as both of the speakers have said that actually ladyship comes with cost of infrastructure is going to play that role, but you know, give you a small example of this we. We have lost the ability to broadcast into the South Pacific and Southeast Asia. In a way that we used to very successfully over over decades to give us the capacity to do that. We're probably talking about you know that. He million a year forty million a year, which sounds a lot of defend. It's nothing if you're in the Defense Department. Let me tell you. But you need to be able to do things like that. To be the truth teller in the region to actually tell the region that there are alternatives to Chinese Communist Party authoritarianism I think that's what's needed with responding to this grey zone on threat. Is Actually to be the truth teller. In this part of the will and getting our system in Cambridge used to that reality to understanding what needs to be done. To starting at different type of conversation with our region. With our own people for that matter that that is a sort of a psychological change which I can see happening, but we're not quite yet. There's a bit of work still to be done to get to that point Melissa. Conley Tyler. Is, just responding on that. I agree entirely with what pitcher saying on on broadcasting. It's a small investment, such a an increasing influence. It should be Brian and I hope that did that's being seen. I think having defense voices. I will help a lot in a banks, seriously I'm but just went. When you ask Tom Balaton host government and what's happening there? There are some really good examples, so for example win. This Pacific step pop started an office of the Pacific was established in that apartment and tried and each job. He's to be that coordinating body, and it's bringing together the. The defense, the development and the diplomacy in a way that he's gone to maximize our influence. and I've noticed this a lot more discussion about that that three. How do you bring defense development diplomacy communities together? I'm involved in initiate the Pacific. Four Day and I think a lot of people not talking about what more we can do for that that joined up coordination to make the most about national instruments by skill. You're an expert on China. The elephant in the room of course is China doing need to be careful not to overestimate China's military strength. What about the weaknesses? Exactly right I mean you have to know your enemy's weakness as well as their strengths in the case of China, they are undertaking enormous reforming organization effort. They're pouring billions of dollars into new capabilities, but there's a lot of things we need to recognize I. Mean One is that the Chinese have not fought a shooting war and more than forty years. They are have no. They have zero experience in high end combat against a serious. Adversary, scenario, so that's not to downplay them, but to understand that they've got enormous obstacles to overcome that day. Themselves acknowledge that they themselves. No, they have to overcome, and that's why we had this window that we've been talking about. A fifteen to twenty years. to try and develop capabilities to get in front of the kinds of things that the Chinese want to bring to bear around. Around, twenty thirty or twenty, thirty, five, twenty, forty, paid-up Melissa to be continued. Thanks so much for being on our in. Thank you, tell my pleasure. Thank you, Tom. That was paid jennings. He's executive director of the Australian strategic pulsing suit by skill professor of Asia Pacific Security Studies at Macquarie University and Melissa Commonly Tyler. She's a research fellow at the Asia Institute at the University of Melbourne. These between the lines with Tom Switzer. Coming next, we're going to replay a version of a segment from between the lines. I 'cause commemorating the massacre of Bosnian Muslims at shredded Nitsa on the eleventh of July nodding ninety. Five twenty five years ago this week. More than eight thousand people were killed by Serb forces. It was the worst massacre. Europe had seen since the Holocaust. Serve softening up Trevor Nature for the army's final push into the town. Town of course was supposed to be a safe haven protected by the United Nations, but the civilians ended up being sitting ducks as I woke Larry. Hollingsworth Remembers I. Myself Feel Devastated and ashamed I was there with them? When we told them that it was a safe haven I watched. Many of these people walk in with the minimal possessions into shreds, knowing that it was a safe haven, and now they're fleeing out because we've let them down, let them down to the extent that within dies. About Twenty three thousand women and children were deported, and about eight thousand Muslim men and boys left behind where executed and buried in mass graves. Now, reports from the time described, frightening scenes stiffen overawed from medicines on frontier. Speaking he. Loading some of the children and women into buses, but there's no indication as to where it was buses, going with seen some horrifying streaming, going on women and children going into the buses being taken away from their family This was going on with a lot of crying a lot of panicking. The slaughter had been planned carefully and executed with precision. All the wall Dutch. Pace is literally stood by, and did nothing indeed even when the Serb assault on Srebrenica was imminent. in-command is still rejected Kohl's racetracks. Positions. Pope John Paul. The second declared ribbon Nitsa a defeat for civilization as media reports begins to reveal the scale of the unfolding tragedy. The UN says nine hundred thousand people are still unaccounted for. About some became clear as government soldiers emerging from the forest in central Bosnia, told of horrific massacres at the hands of the Serbs one young. People executing them on spot, but this didn't come out of the blue. By the time this massacre took place the civil war that tore the former Yugoslavia. Repot was heading into its fourth year. More than a million people have been displaced, and the world became familiar with a new term ethnic cleansing. So? Who is to blame for these well? Let's start with the United. Nations from ninety two to ninety, five shrivel Nitsa was the world's first union declared civilian syphon. It was supposed to to her aggression. It was supposed to aggression and set the scene for political negotiations to end hostilities between the Bosnian Serbs, and Muslims, but the UN soldiers in the SIPHONS. They were bedeviled by problems. If you declare an area safe haven in the name of the United Nations. Nations if you tell the people if they are safe in the name of the United Nations you have got to put the troops on the ground, and it's no good for politicians say yes, we go for safe havens, but we're not gonNA put the troops meanwhile the Europeans vacillated and equivocated failing miserably to cope with across at its own back door. America was also reluctant to get involved as then President George Bush senior explained in Nani Nani to. I? Something because I learned something from Vietnam. I am not going to commit US forces until I know what the mission is to the military. Tell me that it can be completed until I know how they can come out. You have ancient rivalries that have cropped up as as Yugoslavia's dissolved or getting dissolved, and it isn't going to be solved by sending in the eighty second airborne, and although on the campaign trail that Ye Bill Clinton pledged to reverse the appeasement of that bushes of Belgrade as President Clinton allowed the Balkans to bleed for three more years. French President Jacques Chirac was moved to declare quote, the position of the leader of the free world vacant. Trinite Sur changed all that having done nothing the before during the mass killings in Rwanda Clinton was galvanized into action, and crucially he cut the United Nations out of the Decision Chine on August thirty Washington led a night bombing campaign against the Serbs the NATO action began early this morning. The harsh light of fires and explosions coloring the night sky. Some people watched the bombardment from their houses, but after more than ten thousand deaths here in the last three years, most Sarajevans had given up any hope of outside intervention. Last night it came on a scale which could yet change the course of this war by the end of not ninety five sixty thousand nine hundred troops, including twenty thousand Americans were on the ground in Bosnia. Pace was declared. The BOEKEN's wars ended only because the US finally acted. He's President Clinton in November ninety five my fellow Americans in this new era there are still times when America and America alone can and should make the difference for peace. The terrible war in Bosnia is such a case nowhere. Today is the need for American leadership. More stark are more immediate than in. In Bosnia in the years since the Mexica Europe inaction was heavily criticised, and the US was held up for its global leadership in particular for its unilateral humanitarian intervention. This is when the US secretary. Of State. Madeleine Albright said America was the indispensable nation, and that idea would fade into the justification of the Iraq invasion in two thousand and three as a war of liberation, but he's a question with the US intervene. If the shrivel Nitsa massacre happened today from the standpoint of twenty twenty, we might ask if the era of US unilateral humanitarian intervention is well and truly over. Well, that's it for this week. Show remember if you'd like to hear the episode again or download segments since two thousand fourteen. Just go to ABC. Dot Net dot US slash aren and follow the prompts to between the lines, or you can listen via the ABC. Listen APP, or wherever you get your podcast. You can even subscribe, so you never miss an episode. I'm Tom Switzer continue next week.
Police seek information on shooting of 11-year-old boy in Southeast Washington, DC
"Not far from the Frederick Douglass National Historic Site along Cedar Street in Southeast D. C. Police chief Peter Newsom says a group of about five men in a black sedan began shooting up in the air. Last night. Just after 9 30 An 11 year old boy was hit. He was taken to a hospital, but later died. The men got away through an alley. Please don't have any suspects, but her pleading with the public for any information that might lead to an arrest. Newsom says They are expected to release more details in photos as the investigation continues. Melissa held w. T O P News. The victim has been identified as Davon MacNeil of Southeast D. C. His mother, according to the Post. Krystal McNeal works is a violence interpreter working with the district's most hardened criminals. Mediate disputes and convince them to put down their guns. Body cameras once again being debated in Maryland, Maryland matters
Several protests to take place over holiday weekend in Washington, DC
"Protesters are still working to bring about change as the movement to support black lives continues the organization DC protests has put together several Marge's since the death of George Floyd, including one today in Malcolm X Pork. There's still not enough reform in the police system, and we've been protesting for about 30 plus days, though we're out here trying to take back before Justin Dawes is the co founder and says they're working with a number of organizations, including the Equal Justice Fund Initiative and bartenders against racism. And they plan to continue providing education within the community. Our next protests and demonstrations be focused on more education and getting all of our community outside locally vote, So we're out here, enforced and showing up in numbers, so let them know we won't be intimidated and we won't be silent. Melissa how w. GOP news
FedEx Earnings: FDX Stock Soars 9% on Strong Q4
"We've got an earnings alert on dined you by the way Arnie's alert on Fedex the stocks touring the after our session. Let's get to Frank Colin who's got all the details Frank Melissa. Dollar beat on EPS. grout margin also surprising to the upside for the segment that's been handling much that increased demand due to cove in nineteen becks ground, seeing volumes increased by twenty three percent, but much of that was that less profitable. B. To C. operating merging falling year year because that beat AC- increase average revenue per piece, falling as well, but I'm at from Deutsche Bank echoing the sentiments of many others on the street, shock and awe in a good way, people were bracing for something like six or seven percent margin for ground, the express margins more than doubled sequentially. The CAP x number is also very very positive, because one of the this company is that they've been overspending on cap ex. Ex Fedex as becks will be around four point, nine dollars in fiscal, twenty, twenty, one, a one billion dollar decline the company, saying every single line item was impacted by in nineteen that include a one hundred and twenty five million dollar increase in operating cost much of that the by e for employees Fedex also declined to offer full year guidance because of the uncertainty of the pandemic, and after hours ups, also of five percent, both companies, seeing a boost in volume ups, also a first mover on a surcharge for large retail customers, a move expected to generate fifty million for ups in June alone Fedex. Just starting that surcharge on June eighth. We'll have to watch and see how that turns out. To you frank, thank. You! Frank, Collin the latest on Fedex. Steve Crossover better than expected quarter bigger-than-expected move as predicted by the options market here by the way in the act hours.
NAACP moving from Baltimore to Washington DC
"Is moving its headquarters to a part of the district that's preparing for a major redevelopment project. The end of the CCP has served as the nation's largest civil rights organization with its main offices in Baltimore. But the organization has signed a letter of intent to relocate its headquarters to the Frank D. Reeves Center. Right on the northwest corner of 14th and you street, the building will be transformed into a mixed use hub with affordable housing, Another neighborhood serving amenities. It's a project Mayor Muriel Bowser calls Nick and culturally significant. Frank D. Reeves was a civil rights activist and attorney who worked with the end of the CP to shape the Brown versus Board of Education case that desegregated schools. Melissa held A popular
Four men charged for trying to tear down Andrew Jackson statue in DC
"Statues. They're coming down all across the country. Four men here in the district are facing charges now for trying to bring down the statue in Lafayette Square. A statue of President Andrew Jackson was destroyed, and officials say Lee control Connor, Judd and Ryan Lane all from our region, along with Grand Lloyd of Maine are responsible. The men are charged with destruction of federal property. Officials say the men are allegedly seen on video attempting to private statue from its base. Judd was in court last week, but the other men still aren't in custody. Jackson, who supported and profited from slavery, also signed the Indian removal Act into law in 18 30. Acting U. S. Attorney Michael Sherwin commented on the charges, saying they should serve as a warning to others, adding quote Your violent behavior and criminal conduct will not be tolerated. Melissa how w.
The Fed has capped bank dividends and suspended buybacks after stress tests
"For the first time in the ten years of stress, testing banks are required to resubmit their capital plans later this year to reflect the current environment by chair Randall. Quarrels notes in a statement that there is quote material uncertainty about the trajectory for the economic recovery in its impact on banking organizations, and not all governors agreed to let the banks continue payouts even if If, they're limited fed governor Lael brainard said in a separate statement that she does not support giving the green light for large banks to deplete capital which raises the risk they will need to tighten credit or rebuilt capital during the recovery coverage, informing this decision by the Fed was a covert sensitivity overlay for their traditional stress tests where the test of the bank's viability under three hypothetical recessions in subsequent recoveries, v-shaped, u-shaped and w shaped. The Fed notes that there are scenarios are not predictions of the likely path of the economy in aggregate, though the Fed said loan losses for the thirty four banks tested amounted to five hundred and sixty billion to seven hundred billion dollars aggregate capital. Ratios declined from twelve. Twelve percent in the fourth quarter of two thousand nineteen to between nine point five to seven point seven percent in the hypothetical downside, they did not break out the results of the cove analysis on individual banks, but in the after hours investors have been drawing their own conclusions with mixed results depending on the bank mixed performance depending on the Bank Melissa all right Leslie, thank you Leslie picture with the results of the stress has a lot to think about. There are a lot to think about in terms of how it affects the bank trade, but there's also this to think about. Take a listen to what David Ellison of the Hennessy funds said on the closing bell just a few moments ago. There really inserting themselves, and and basically acting like they want to act in a sense that these companies are effectively nationalized. and. We're seeing the effect of that today. in what they're saying, so they're worried about the the appear to be more worried about the economy than the market is. Again heard Powell last week. Say that he was worried now. It seems like we're hearing that again. And this is going to be an ongoing thing. The banks are going to be battling this for the next couple years. So they are effectively nationalized according to this bank investor, guide me. What does this all mean for the bank trade? Yeah. It's interesting. I mean I. Don't know if I'd go that far that the bank should be but I I respected the the opinion on that. Know what it means for the bank trade I don't think the value proposition of the reason you were getting wanted to belong J. P. Morgan was because of the dividend or their stock. Buy Back. I mean I. Don't think that's why you're long the stock, but I understand the headline. This is somewhat shocking, although probably not all that. Surprising quite frankly, I think a lot of people probably saw this coming I think the bigger headline was the reason I thought. The market rally in the first place was a relaxation of the Volcker rule to a certain extent. I think that's why banks had the big run. Now you have to wonder if the timing was somewhat coincidental. I still would submit the following. Pretty steadfast on this you're looking for opportunities to by name like J. P. Morgan for that now second potential run up to one fifteen, and we've done the math for you. I mean one fifteen for J. P. Morgan is putting a one point eight multiple on sixty two dollars tangible book, and it makes a lot of sense. Go back and look where we traded up to a couple of weeks ago and that to me is where the market wants to go I. Don't think it's I. Don't think this is the reason to be bearish the broader market although you know I am. But I do think the headline is probably going to some people carrying. You've been a longtime investor in the bank specifically, certainly not for the dividends, certainly not for the share buybacks. Knew that they were gonNA suspend by back at least for this quarter. So how do you factor this into your investment thesis? So. I mean I guess it makes sense I that they say. Let's see how the year unfolds before we decide whether or not you're going to be allowed to to pay your dividend, or at what level you'll be allowed to pay your dividend, so that sort of makes sense to me i. think what is going to be more important I think is how bad are the provision for loan losses going to be in this quarter? And how bad are they going to be given that we are having difficulty reopening? How sustainable those losses to be going through the throughout the year, so I had thought that the first quarter and the second I'm sorry, the quarter ending in. June, and this next one I'm sorry. March marching, June would be the worst quarters of the year. Maybe there's another bad quarter here. It is interesting to me though that the Volcker rule did come out on the same day that I mean that's sort of like back to go go times. To? The stress tests. But I think the story hasn't really dramatically changed today we'll be. It'll be interesting when we see on Monday. Who is going to change their dividend? Would seem like Wells Fargo is maybe a likely candidate. For BANKAMERICA's city and JP Morgan. The big money centers I don't think they're moving much I. saw city up a little JP Morgan down a little and Bankamerica down. Little I don't think a whole lot has changed to me. It still comes down to how bad will the loss be? Yeah, Goldman after hours one of the biggest loser, if down two and a half percent, a wells Fargo's down one and. And a half percent.
Washington, DC Fireworks Vendors Sue City
"4th shows. Be careful with fireworks in this area there. LEGAL in D. C. At least some fireworks are no fireworks are illegal in Montgomery County, for example, Ah, black business owner in the district is suing the city after he was denied a licence to sell fireworks. James Peters, the third has lived in the district all his life, regulated the industry as a fire inspector back in the 80 and eventually started his own company Capital Works in 1997 and has been selling fireworks as a wholesaler to 27 small business. Is the majority of them black owned ever since, But this year for the first time his license was denied the reason safety concerns. But Costco's is still allowed to sell. He has since filed a lawsuit. But if Costco's able to sail in these black vendors, these minority vendors should be able to sell fireworks, the disco we have reached out to the mayor's office for comment, but have not yet received a response. Melissa.
Tesla Quality Falls Short in J.D. Power Car Survey
"The first time ever tesla included in. Jd Power initial quality survey, but it might have been happier to say off. That list Filipinos got all the details fell. Emily is sort of an interesting survey because they're not technically ranked with all the other automakers, but they do have enough responses from Tesla owners and we'll talk about. The test results in just a bit. Let me show you the top and the bottom automakers in terms of quality initial quality. This is what people say after ninety days. You've got dodging KIA tying for number one in third place. It's titled Between Chevrolet and Ram at the bottom of the list for luxury Maine's. Some of these might surprise you. The one at the bottom will not be surprise. You've got Mercedes than Volvo Audi and coming in number thirty one out of thirty one brands. Brands Land, rover, which is often at the bottom of these lists, and yet they have a lot of intense loyalty and sales remained strong as for Tesla while it's not officially ranked, they did get answered from thirteen hundred Tesla owners in thirty five states and based on that Jd. Power says that the initial quality is the worst in the auto industry in terms of problems per one hundred vehicles. Most of the problems have to do with fit and finish things like wind noise squeaks and rattles the kind of things that people say look. This is what happens when you push manufacturing in order to build in some more vehicles, all of this coming. Coming on a day when Nitsa the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has launched an investigation into what's going on with the touchscreens of sixty three thousand Model S, these are model S.'s built between two thousand and thirteen in two thousand sixteen, the look into why number of owners have reported having problems with those touchscreens, whether that relates to a recall or some kind of a notice from the company remains to be seen as you take a look at shares of Tesla wants more remember that next week we'll get the cue to delivery data from Tesla and whether or not they have to alter their guidance Melissa for full. Your deliveries remember they still technically. Technically are saying that they plan to deliver at least five hundred thousand vehicles worldwide this year, though you give given what we saw with the factories, shutting down in April and a number of the other issues around the world, the question is whether or not they still plan on keeping that guidance. Yeah, it'll. It'll be much harder to hit that year end target if they fall short in the second quarter. Phil thank you
'The Computer Got It Wrong': How Facial Recognition Led To False Arrest Of Black Man
"Police in Detroit we're trying to figure out who stole five watches from a show I know watch store and so they pulled security video that had recorded the incident they zoomed in on the grainy footage and ran the suspect to a facial recognition system I hit came back forty two year old Robert Williams of Michigan when I look at the denture of the gallon I just see a big black guy I don't I don't see a resemblance I don't think he looks like me at all in January police in Detroit arrested Williams for the watch theft Williams says he was placed in an interrogation room and police put three photos in front of him and he says so I guess that's not true either so I picked it up into my face when I told him I said I hope you don't think all black people look alike Williams was detained and then released on bail until his hearing that's when prosecutors dropped the charges against him academic and government studies have demonstrated that facial recognition systems misidentified people of color more often than white people what makes this case extraordinary is that police admitted that facial recognition technology prompted the arrest typically the tools used in secret lawyer Phil Maher is with the ACLU of Michigan they never even asked him any questions before arresting him they never asked him if he had an alibi they never asked him where he was that day the ACLU has filed a complaint against the Detroit police department the complaint asked that police stop using the tool in investigations in a statement to NPR the Detroit police department says after the Williams case the department enacted new rules now only still photos not security footage can be used for facial recognition and only in the case of violent crimes according to Georgetown law center on privacy and technology at least a quarter of the country's law enforcement agencies have access to face recognition tools Jamison's feedback is a researcher at the center most of the time people who are arrested using face recognition or not told at face recognition was used to arrest them the government use of facial recognition technology has been banned in half a dozen cities in Michigan Williams says he hopes the case is a wake up call to lawmakers Williams says there should be a nationwide ban let's say that this case wasn't retail for a one of those rape or murder what I got out of jail on a personal bond or but I never come home Williams and his wife Melissa worry about the long term effects the arrest will have on his daughters he was arrested on his front lawn his young daughters cried as her father was taken away in a police car in order to get arrested and that was their first interaction with the police so it's definitely not shape however seem long course man in his complaint Williams and his lawyers say if the police department won't ban the technology out right that leaves his photo should be removed from the database so this doesn't happen
'The Computer Got It Wrong': How Facial Recognition Led To False Arrest Of Black Man
"Now a man who says he was falsely arrested after a computer algorithm mis identified his face is speaking out as NPR's Bobby Allen reports critics of the technology said case shows how unreliable the tool is police in Detroit we're trying to figure out who stole five watches from a show I know watch store and so they pulled security video that had recorded the incident they zoomed in on the grainy footage and ran the suspect to a facial recognition system I hit came back forty two year old Robert Williams of Michigan when I look at the picture of the guy out I just see a big black I don't at all I don't see a resemblance I don't think he looks like me at all in January police in Detroit arrested Williams for the watch theft Williams says he was placed in an interrogation room and police put three photos in front of him and he says so I guess that's not true either so I picked it up into my face when I told him I said I hope you don't think all black people look alike Williams was detained and then released on bail until his hearing that's when prosecutors dropped the charges against him academic and government studies have demonstrated that facial recognition systems misidentified people of color more often than white people what makes this case extraordinary is that police admitted that facial recognition technology prompted the arrest typically the tools used in secret lawyer Phil Maher is with the ACLU of Michigan they never even asked him any questions before arresting him they never asked him if he had an alibi they never asked him where he was that day the ACLU has filed a complaint against the Detroit police department the complaint asked that police stop using the tool in investigations in a statement to NPR the Detroit police department says after the Williams case the department enacted new rules now only still photos not security footage can be used for facial recognition and only in the case of violent crimes according to Georgetown law center on privacy and technology at least a quarter of the country's law enforcement agencies have access to face recognition tools Jamison Spivak is a researcher at the center most of the time people who are arrested using face recognition or not told at face recognition was used to arrest them the government use of facial recognition technology has been banned in half a dozen cities in Michigan Williams says he hopes the case is a wake up call lawmakers Williams says there should be a nationwide ban let's say that this case wasn't retail for a one of those rape or murder what I got out of jail on a personal bond or but I never come home Williams and his wife Melissa worry about the long term effects the arrest will have on his daughters he was arrested on his front lawn his young daughters cried as her father was taken away in a police car in order to get arrested that was our first interaction with the police so it's definitely not shape how they perceive law enforcement in his complaint Williams and his lawyers say if the police department won't ban the technology out right that leaves his photo should be removed from the database so this doesn't happen
Who Is Winning the COVID-19 Vaccine Race?
"New face on the race to develop a corona virus vaccine as cases surge in several states. Terrell joins us with the very latest. Hey, MEG! Hey, Melissa Will Sanofi providing an update on its plans today seeing now that it's program in porter ship with GlaxoSmithKline could be human clinical trials in September and potentially in a larger phase, three efficacy study by the end of the year or early twenty twenty one now that's still a few months behind where other companies are but Sanofi, CEO pointing out that their technology is one of the only ones that's proven in. In an approved vaccine, already have a flu vaccine based on this technology separately. They also have a partnership with translate bio, and you can see that stocks up forty seven percent today an expanded partnership. They're going to work together on other vaccines to not just the Cova vaccine, and that's an Mr platform similar to Madonna's, and that's a little bit further behind the GlaxoSmithKline Sanofi vaccine so Sanofi. They're having two different Cova. Tracks ongoing. Meanwhile, the first efficacy trials in the United States those thirty thousand person trials expected to start in July from dern and Pfizer AstraZeneca close on their heels, potentially starting July or August with their trial Johnson and Johnson expected in September and then of course as we mentioned gs K.. Sanofi at the end of the year, so these big companies all gearing up to start these large scale efficacy studies within weeks already. What is the earliest projection by accompany MAG for back backseat hitting the market or getting FDA approval? Well we've seen from some companies like Astra Zeneca. Could deliver this vaccine by October if things go well, FIS has made similar projections, but today Dr Fao. She was testifying on the hill. He reiterated the end of Twenty Twenty early twenty twenty one time line for the earliest, these vaccines could be ready. It's all going to depend upon the rate of infection. In these large-scale efficacy efficacy trials because the more infection there is the faster they will prove that they work
Global coronavirus cases top 9 million
"The United States is not the only country seeing a significant increase in corona virus cases KCBS reporter Melissa call Ross tells us the number of cases soaring around the entire globe the sheer volume of Kobe nineteen cases is what's striking says Dr George Rutherford director of the prevention and public health group at UCSF ribbons through this out twice with the rise and fall case to China the rise and fall cases in Europe and now this continuous rise in the Americas and also Russia and India it see how truly alarming the World Health Organization is warning countries against making the pandemic a political issue and Rutherford says that with so many cases what the demand for vaccines is going to be difficult to demand for therapeutics will be as we get better and better with our therapeutics we would like to appreciate it as many cases as possible so there's really enough to go around more than nine million confirmed cases of coronavirus infection have been reported around the world
"melissa" Discussed on Do The Thing, with Whole30's Melissa Urban
"You don't <Speech_Female> have to worry about it. Blunting <Speech_Female> the recovery response <Speech_Female> in fact, <Speech_Female> because cold <Speech_Female> showers do <Speech_Female> provoke a stress response. <Speech_Female> He <Speech_Female> recommends avoiding doing <Speech_Female> them at night in <Speech_Female> general, because <Speech_Female> it might mess with <Silence> your sleep, <Speech_Female> the other thing <Speech_Female> he mentioned is that there <Speech_Female> could be benefit <Speech_Female> in doing a cold <Speech_Female> shower or <Speech_Female> bath. Right <Speech_Female> before your training <Speech_Female> and that it's a central <Speech_Female> nervous system. System Primer, <Speech_Female> so <Speech_Female> that could be a benefit <Speech_Female> as well <Speech_Female> so I would say this. <Speech_Female> Do it first thing <Speech_Female> in the morning. If you <Speech_Female> happen to train in the morning, <Speech_Female> double bonus, <Speech_Female> if you've <Speech_Female> been doing cold <Speech_Female> showers at <Speech_Female> night, and you do <Speech_Female> find them relaxing <Speech_Female> and soothing. <Speech_Female> Okay, you can still <Speech_Female> do that, but <Speech_Female> if you're new to to it I <Speech_Female> highly recommend keeping <Speech_Female> them in the morning. <Speech_Female> All of those <Speech_Female> reasons <Speech_Female> and then the last <Speech_Female> question because every <Speech_Female> single person <Speech_Female> in my instagram <Speech_Female> comments has been asking <Speech_Female> how you shave. <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> you could shave <Speech_Female> in a cold shower, but <Speech_Female> the goosebumps <Speech_Female> that you get would probably <Speech_Female> make it really uncomfortable <Speech_Female> so <Speech_Female> when I needed to <Speech_Female> shave I just <Speech_Female> take a second hot <Speech_Female> shower leader <Speech_Female> in the day, so <Speech_Female> my first shower. First <Speech_Female> thing in the morning is pre-training. <Speech_Female> It's super duper <Speech_Female> cold if <Speech_Female> I get sweaty during <Speech_Female> my training session. <Speech_Female> I'm GONNA WANNA. Take another <Speech_Female> shower leader, and sometimes <Speech_Female> I make that hot, <Speech_Female> and that's when. When I'll shave <Speech_Female> and do the rest of my business, <Speech_Female> and occasionally <Speech_Female> all end that <Speech_Female> one on a cold note as <Speech_Female> well, <Speech_Female> and I think <Speech_Female> we've covered it all <Speech_Female> I'm so excited <Speech_Female> to share the details <Speech_Female> of my cold shower. <Speech_Female> Experiment with you <Speech_Female> and I. <Speech_Female> DO invite <Speech_Female> you to take this <Speech_Female> on for <Speech_Female> yourself. <Speech_Female> We are in <Speech_Female> such a difficult <Speech_Female> stressful <Speech_Female> time, and who <Speech_Male> could use a boost <Speech_Female> in mood <Speech_Female> focused <Speech_Female> energies <Speech_Female> stress <Speech_Female> resilience right now. <Speech_Female> This <Speech_Female> entire podcast <Speech_Female> is all about exploring. <Speech_Female> What's been missing <Speech_Female> when you've tried to <Speech_Female> make changes <Silence> and make them stick <Speech_Female> and for <Speech_Female> me? Cold <Speech_Female> showers were <Speech_Female> at -olutely <Speech_Female> the missing <Speech_Female> piece <Speech_Female> in my mood, <Speech_Female> stress, <Speech_Female> resilience and immune <Speech_Female> challenges. <Speech_Female> Maybe you'll discover <Speech_Female> their your <Speech_Female> missing piece <Speech_Female> to you <Speech_Female> can do your cold showers. <Speech_Female> Talk <Speech_Female> about him on Instagram <Speech_Female> tag me up Melissa. <Speech_Female> Maybe <Speech_Female> a little calendar <Speech_Female> and click off those thirty <Speech_Female> days, but let me <Speech_Female> know how it's going, <Speech_Female> and how <Speech_Female> you are using cold <Speech_Female> showers in your <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> own life to affectively <Speech_Music_Female> <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Music_Female> do the thing. <Music> <Advertisement> <Music> <Advertisement> <Music> <Advertisement> <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> Thanks <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> for joining me today <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> on. Do the <Speech_Music_Female> thing you can continue <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> the conversation <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> with me at Melissa <Speech_Music_Female> you on Instagram <Speech_Music_Female> if <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> you
Minnesota's special session could end with no work
"Story it remains to be seen if the Minnesota Senate will end it's part of the special session tonight as promised by Republican Senate Majority Leader Paul Gazelka this is governor walls and Democrats want to keep the session going for a few more days to tackle police police and justice reform house speaker Melissa Hortman says it's too easy to walk away Republicans really want to do something on police reform accountability Democrats really want to do something on police reform accountability we have to go to a table and we have to negotiate and negotiate shins Intel give and take Senate Republicans this hour laying out bear public safety proposals which include banning chill cold expanding background checks and funding for enhanced training for crisis intervention cultural diversity and mental illness they said they will not support restoring voting rights to felons who served their time or anything resembling defunding police Democrats winning in minutes later this hour we're saying the policy caucus was not consulted in those negotiations senator Jeff Haden said a minor changes can't fix major problems walls briefly meeting with reporters at around six thirty tonight sounding upbeat about getting a good chunk of things done tonight this is a sticking point remains police accountability policy but discussions have been going on all day in good faith he said it's likely to be a long
Marathon in Talks With Potential Buyers of Speedway Unit
"We've got a mark flash on marathon petroleum. Let's get to, too. Melissa it's up roughly about three percents on six hundred thousand shares of. Volume and this is on some Dow Jones headline saying that Marathon. Petroleum the twenty five billion dollar oil refiner, not to be confused with the exploration and production company. He's looking to proceed with potential buyers of its speedway gas station unit. They're trying to sell it. It could have held evaluation about fifteen billion dollars to eighteen billion dollars in the pre covid, nineteen kind of estimate, but right now they're also looking at a possible spin off of the company, so it looks like it's restarting things trying to get this speedway. speedway units sold or spun off to shareholders or to the public in some way shape or form, but that's what's moving the stock right now, and that's the reason why it's up again about three and a half percent right now. Six hundred sixteen thousand shares after hours volumes will let you know if anything else happens with this story, but that's the reason why Melissa back over to you guys all
"melissa" Discussed on Do The Thing, with Whole30's Melissa Urban
"Commitment to yourself if you constantly surround yourself with people who are either overtly overtly or subtly pressuring you to go back to your old behaviors? James Clear talked about this and our recent podcast and Nedra an I spoke about this to that part of self sabotage is putting yourself in these risky situations so if you decide that it is time to perhaps expand upon your social circle. It's not one or the other you don't have to necessarily let your current trends go but maybe you WanNa make them new like minded friends. That are more health focused and whose lives don't revolve around alcohol. What's the best way to meet New People? Well this is gonNA sound kind of obvious but meet people where you would want to hang out. So don't go to the bars on Friday night hoping to meet New People and then draw them into this life. That doesn't revolve around the bar that that doesn't really make a lot of sense. Go places where you're going to meet people who think like you. Maybe it's a class at the gym or the Yoga Studio. Maybe it's on a group hike. AAC maybe you're taking a cooking class. Maybe you sign up for lessons at the Rock Climbing Gym. Go places where you're going to meet people who WanNa do the same kinds of things that you do and that way you remove some of the friction associated with this like I want a drink all the time and you're not a drinker. That's the best thing to do and I should probably do an entire podcast about making friends as an adult because having moved to Salt Lake City about ten years ago not knowing anybody and not going to the bars now going to an office here in Salt Lake. It was really hard to make friends. So I'm going to put a note down for myself that that's going to be another podcast episode but look for New People in an environment where you would actually want to spend time one of you asked. How do I navigate events that are totally? Alcohol centered like a wine tasting. Here is another cold hard truth. You don't go to those events if the entirety of the event is about tasting wine or tasting ear or if it's a whiskey class where you get to sample various kinds of whiskey and you're not drinking. You don't go if someone invited you to a yoga a class and you really don't like yoga you wouldn't go. It's the same situation here. There are tons of social situations that involve alcohol but are not Centered on alcohol. Absolutely go to those continue to go. Don't drink all the tips. I'm giving you and have a great time. But if the entirety of the event is centered around Booze News. Don't go to those events and again if that's all your friends WanNa seem to do. If they only want to do wine tastings and Whiskey tastings brewery brewery tours. You need a new social circle. That's like the truth of that situation. A dear friend of mine asked this question and it's a good one because I struggled with this one myself. A glass of wine is so romantic and cozy with a friend. How can I replace that? I had the exact same team feeling during a whole thirty a couple years ago. I have a group of girlfriends here in Salt Lake. There's five of us. We liked to get together and sit on the patio. Oh on a beautiful summer day and drink a glass of wine. Nobody was a big drinker. I don't think anyone ever had more than like two glasses in an evening but there was something think about that that did feel very romantic and cozy and I really struggled with. What are we going to do instead? The key was just to show up at that advent and not have a glass of wine and realized that you're still sitting on a patio. You're still surrounded by some of your best girlfriends. It wasn't until I did the the activity without alcohol that it made me realize that the alcohol isn't the cozy part of that scenario. It's the set and the setting and the people that you're with and so the advice I would give you. My friend is just to eliminate alcohol from that equation and experience what that relationship would be like outside of alcohol and this is something else. That's GONNA come up again and again which is you are not able to show up as your most authentic addict self if you have alcohol between you meaning even one glass of wine throws me outside of my authentic self enough that I am now no longer longer able to connect as fully as I want with the people I am with and if the point of this meeting is to really connect with that friend and and bond and share and have those like good you know oxytocin boosting results wine. I will tell you only gets in the way of that. Ah So have. Their romantic and cozy event eliminate alcohol from the occasion and realize that. It's not actually about the wine and then you're free three then if you do decide that you want glass of wine the next time it's fantastic and you can enjoy it because it's worth it but you realize that you don't need it. I'll also say this if you're stuck on this idea of like but we always go out for drinks. What else are we supposed to do? I mean there are a million other things that you could do with your friends. I I love going out for tea or coffee so we will meet in the mid afternoon or even if it's in the evening I'll do a pot of herbal tea and like that's just as warm and cozy invite her to here house and Cook a meal together. That's incredibly romantic in cozy your shopping. You've got a playlist on your saw taking your cooking. Then you sit down over a table and eat beat ticks all my boxes. One of my favorite activities to do with friends is gopher or walk. Meet at a park or on a trail. It doesn't have to be a hike but there's something about being outside having the green space having the fresh air and maybe some sunshine and also research shows. This is super interesting. But if you want to have a really open. Authentic conversation with someone. Sitting side by side or walking side-by-side facilitates that better than facing facing each other. Because it feels less vulnerable so inviting a friend out to go for a walk is another really fantastic way of actually connecting acting that isn't centered around going out for a drink. So maybe it's just this idea of getting outside of what you've always done and starting a new tradition. This same conversation applies to dating. I had a lot of people who ask. How do I navigate dating and not drinking? One person actually wrote dating is hard enough without feeling like the Weirdo all right. We're going to tackle that one in a minute but this same thought process applies here as it does to going out for drinks with friends and if you are meeting someone for the very first time you WanNa make it super clear that you're not a big drinker or that you're not drinking at all so if they if your first State says do you WanNa meet for drinks the easiest thing to do is just to say. Actually I don't drink. Would you like to go out for coffee instead or I'm not drinking right now and to be honest. I'm not a big drinker in general. Would you like to meet for coffee instead. Get that right out in the open because if they likes going out for drinks all the time that's not going to be your person and you might as well find that out now talk about setting yourself up for success if you WANNA make new like minded friends or you want to make a new like minded partner. Make sure that that I encounter is really authentic to who you really are if they invited you out for golfing. You didn't play golf you you would say no. I don't golf. Golf is their life. They would.
"melissa" Discussed on Do The Thing, with Whole30's Melissa Urban
"Habits emotional relationship with food just like i did during during my first whole thirty your brain doesn't know the difference between coconut milk ice cream and regular a scream all it knows is i had a hard day at work i want ice cream one of the biggest reasons people come to the whole thirty is that they feel out of control with food and wanna reduce cravings and emotional eating but if you spend your thirty days continuing to eat bread cookies and ice cream how much are your habits really going to change we didn't have these re-creations ends when i did my first whole thirty and two thousand nine but now there is a huge industry around recreating essentially junk food would and treats and slapping a label on it like paleo or kito or low carb that doesn't make them healthy if we had these foods around back in two two thousand nine i wouldn't have had the incredible mindshift i did nor would i have learned healthier ways to process my feelings so just because you can make take a whole thirty compliant brownie doesn't mean you should so for thirty days like it or not these re-creations are off limits my rule of thumb when in doubt leave it out it's only thirty days to read more about the specifics of this rule see the section on treats food fixations on on the scale in the whole thirty book now the last and final hole thirty rule no stepping on the scale for thirty days this this one may prove the hardest one of all but it just means that it will be the most valuable for your whole thirty success for thirty days no taking measurements adjournments or weighing yourself and also personally i frown on daily sell fees or daily mirror photos to remember the whole thirty isn't about your body weight and the most powerful lesson i learned during my first program was to focus on all the non scale victories i was seeing as a result of changing the food dude i put on my plate if you must take measurements before and after but not during this rule is just as important to follow as the others now if you've heard or read anything about the program you may have stumbled across what is perhaps the most famous line of the whole thirty i wrote this back in two two thousand nine and it hasn't really changed much sense the line goes like this this is not hard birthing a baby is hard fighting in cancer is hard losing parent is hard drinking your coffee black is not hard that line is meant to empower and inspire are you it's meant to remind you that you've done harder things in this lifetime and that this will thirty program is for the greatest cause on earth the only physical body you will ever have in this lifetime but no this in the whole thirty book the line immediately following that one but i know this is hard i know that changing your habits and your emotional relationship with food hard i know giving up foods you love for thirty days is hard i know addressing using some of the feelings that you've been trying to numb with food or drink will be hard but you know what what you've been doing is also hard feeling pulling out of control with food is hard over consuming and the guilt and the shame and the isolation that brings which leads to more stress which leads to more overconsumption is hard wanting to change your habits and not knowing where to start is hard feeling tired all the time waking up with aches and pains walking around bloated all day not being able to keep up with your kids taking pills hills you don't want to all of that is hard to so yeah i know this is going to be hard but you know what it will also be worth it and so are you you are worthy the undeserving of this experience and i really want you to have it not to mention that we will be with you every step of the way there have never been more resources more whole thirty approved partners more whole thirty certified coaches all of whom are here to help you do just one thing change your life with the whole thirty eighty and discover true food freedom and if there's one thing i can say about the whole thirty with a pretty good degree of certainty it's this this can and change your life i know that sounds like a big promise but if i had a dollar for everyone who said oh i read that line about changing your life and i totally doubted it but now oh i'm done my whole thirty and it really did change my life i'd be recording this from my private island in the bahamas the whole thirty has the potential to change your life it can change the way you think about food it can change your tastes it can change your habits in cravings it could quite possibly as it did with me change change the emotional relationship you have with food and your body it has the power to change the way you eat for the rest of your life i know this because i did did it and millions of people have done it since and it changed my life and their lives in a permanent fashion the most commonly reported results better energy better sleep improve focus and mental clarity a return to healthy digestion improved athletic performance clearer skin fewer aches and pains is less joint pain and swelling and that strangely happy feeling that i reported for my i stole thirty this ecological benefits may be even more dramatic people report changing longstanding unhealthy habits related to food developing a healthier body image and dramatically reducing or eliminating cravings cravings particularly for sugar and carbohydrates and fine we'll talk about weight loss i know you're gonna ask about weight loss even though the whole thirty isn't a weight loss program i can say this a.
"melissa" Discussed on Weeknight Kitchen with Melissa Clark
"It really does for me now I'm going to add olive oil and I want to add the amount of olive oil that's about four three to four times the amount of lemon juice shows that Melissa has not used one measuring thing yet now because either you make this enough you bring you all when you're doing it in the salad bowl yes but I'm tasting please meach immortal but you see yes I can taste the fish sauce and Saharan it's yeah interesting ten more limited so why do you think it needs more lemon.
"melissa" Discussed on Do The Thing, with Whole30's Melissa Urban
"Fun. One i was standing in line at barnes and noble had this big stack of books in my hand and the top book was fiction book called barbara the slot got. It was very good by the way anyway. The woman behind me was an older very prim and proper looking woman so i've been talking to strangers mode so i turn around on and i say to her like oh you reading anything today and she shared the book that was in her pile and then she looked over my shoulder and she said what are you reading today and the book on top is called barbara the slot lot so she she kind of gave a look and then she started laughing and she said i hope it's very good and we kinda laughed because i felt a little bit like i was caught. I'm doing something naughty. Even though i wasn't and she was a lovely woman we talked about all the books in my pile and the books that she was reading and it was just this really authentic very very sweet engagement. I will say that you have to be careful in your openings. Though i think the biggest mistake you can make is to make an assumption so i will tell hell you one mistake i made when i was doing this. <hes> i forget where i was but boy do i remember i was in conversation with an older man and a young woman and sometime during the conversation i looked at her and i looked at him and i said your daughter has beautiful eyes and he paused and stared right at me and said god that's my girlfriend and i thought crap. That's not cool so don't make assumptions. Don't ask any sensitive questions. You might think something like do you of kids or are you. Married is innocuous but it's not that can be a really sensitive subject and that's a little too prying. Don't ask where they live. 'cause it can come off really creepy <hes> and don't ask anything that assumes their gender also asking where are you from based on their skin color or accent is culturally insensitive so please don't do that. You really just wanna stick to save topics here. Observations something that's directly in front of you sharing something about yourself off like if i hear one more christmas carol gonna lose my mind or the halloween. Decorations are already but i have to say. I like halloween way more than christmas. Those are relatively safe. It's also important once you open this conversation to stay present in the moment and actively listened to their response so if you ask a question and then immediately start scrolling grueling the're phone or looking around. That's not an engaged conversation like you want to give this person the president of your presence for those two moments that you're in this engagement and honestly honestly it's a gift for you as well so hold yourself to staying present and give this person your full attention for the few moments that you have. It's actually really good practice for active listening and other areas of your life to and then finally if they're not open to it or they decide not to talk fine. Just don't keep talking to them. It definitely happened to me a few times. I remember walking into a starbucks was playing reggae music and it was right around the holidays and i said to the cashier. You must be so psyched that they're not pumping humping christmas music through the speakers nonstop and he just kinda like looked at me gave me a little nod and then moved on nobile just move on if they don't wanna talk don't talk but also don't take it personally remember. It's not about you. There are any number of reasons that someone behind the counter or inline next you might right not wanna talk and none of them have to do with you so really don't sweat it the most important piece of feedback. I'll give you is just keep practicing the more. Are you do it. The easier it gets the more comfortable it is and the more positive feedback you get from others and the more you get to experience how good it feels for you you the more you'll want this to become a habit and listen. If you're from the south or the midwest you might be listening to this thinking like melissa. This is just what we do but is it still is it for those of us who are so enmeshed in social media and were so richly scheduled and we work and we have kids and their <unk> over scheduled and we feel like we don't have a lot of time for ourselves. Are you really making this kind of efforts still yes. Your area is very friendly and you're known for your you know open friendly people but like are you actually still making this effort in your own life. I think if you observe your own behavior you might discover. You've been pulling back more whether it's out out of habit whether it's on a schedule whether you're just over stressed or under slept think about it think about whether this is something you could enact in your life in a way that feels relatively effort less in that doesn't cost you a lot energetically. That doesn't take a ton of extra time but gives you all the benefit of in person social interaction. This is such an unexpected previously untapped resource without any extra drain hopefully if you're also an introvert. I feel like this could be so powerful. If you decide to take this on i would love to hear about your own social experiments. I want to hear what you opened with and what they said. In the kind of conversation you had how it made you feel how you think it made them feel. Whether this aspect is spilling over into any other area of your your life i want to hear all about it so you can post photos on instagram using the hashtag melissa talks to strangers so i can see them and you can add your story to my collection or you can d- liam me a photo or a description of your experience any way you want to get it to me. Send a raven if you want to but i really want to hear if you decide to take this on the impact that this has in your your life. I honestly suspect that this.
"melissa" Discussed on Do The Thing, with Whole30's Melissa Urban
"To feel more connected to your community and your fellow humans but didn't require investing hours of your time or drawing going deep from your energetic resources. I discovered just this source more than six years ago and it kind of changed my life today. I wanna tell you about my melissa talks to strangers experiment and how you might discover that talking to strangers is the thing that's been missing missing in your longing for more real connection in your life. I grew up on the east coast and i spent most of my life there. I was born and raised in new hampshire and lived in various cities in new hampshire like basically all my life and here's how i describe east coasters. Were not rude. We just don't need to talk to you. If you're from the east coast. Maybe you can relate. We do things really fast and unless it's transactional or i actually know you. There's very little reason to start a conversation nation and this is always worked just fine for me because as an upholder i just want to get things done and so i don't need any unnecessary conversation around around my transactional experience with you. Also i'm an introvert and as an introvert. It's expensive for me to give you my energy like the more time i spend engaging with the people out in the world the more time i need by myself to recharge so i would not spend my social currency on things like you know talking to my cashier or my bank. Tell our or my barista. I would save it for family and friends and i would keep those engagements to a very cursory like high and thanks now. I don't know if everyone we went on the east. Coast is like this but this is definitely my experience and i noticed a huge difference when i go home to visit now compared to where i live now which is utah so i moved out here to the west about nine years ago and i immediately discovered that the culture here is very different so our first week here we walked into a local grocery store here called liberty heights fresh and our cashier greeted us with this super chirpy. Hey how are you guys doing anything fun this weekend and and my partner at the time who's originally from british columbia in an extrovert boot totally chatted her up so happily and i bagged groceries <unk> gave her like a weird little side and we walked out of the store and i remember saying she doesn't know us. Why does she care what we're doing this weekend and he had to explain to me that people are different in the west and other parts of the country and that chatting up strangers is pretty normal occurrence. I thought it was really weird and i did did not participate for a long time so long that like very often when i would be out in public engaging people would say you're not from here. Are you but in two thousand thirteen i thought okay i live here now. I should probably try to fit in a little better so over lunch. One day i hatched this experiment. Melissa talks to strangers. I called it so for thirty days. I committed that i would talk to basically everyone that i came into contact with for more than a few seconds so so this was like wait staff baristas the front desk person at the gym might uber driver every one. I thought it would be really weird and awkward but actually turns is out that it wasn't. I thought people would think i was weird but i couldn't believe how like ninety nine percent of people happily opened up right away. I learned to ask open but noninvasive questions like anything exciting happened today or that. Tattoo is really interesting. Did you get it done around here or stealing from my liberty heights cashier doing anything fun this weekend. I'd hear stories of wonderful an awful customers. I'd hear about an exam. They were studying for a a party. They were throwing favorite meals. They've eaten or cooked like we talked about kids and partners and foods and hikes and travel and every subject under the sun it is remarkable how much you can cover in just a few minutes with a total stranger but we would end up in these randomly begun conversations conversations. I would get a glimpse just a really small glimpse in narrow window into some aspect of their life for just a minute or two but these glimpses were so rich they felt so nourishing from a total stranger someone i would probably never see again. I noticed that car share rides. Were a a huge opportunity. I was traveling for thirty. I was in uber's and left's allot. I would always have like fifteen or twenty minutes at least to draw out my driver's vers leith experience so i heard about the motorcycles they rode the trips. They took the marriages that were flourishing like. I asked more than one uber driver who mentioned he'd been married for more than twenty five years like what's your secret. What's your advice and they were always so happy to share. I heard about marriages ending. I heard about kids. They were proud of. I heard about their kids with addiction and interestingly. I heard a lot of their own recovery stories. It feels like the universe put me in a lot of cars with a lot of recovering addicts and alcoholics so so that was interesting. I learned through these interactions that everyone has a story and every single person. I talked to was really really interesting. I could not believe how much i enjoyed these interactions. I met some remarkable people. I used to share them on instagram under the hashtag melissa talks to strangers so we'd take photos with them right snap a picture of like their steering wheel or their now empty exit row seat but i would share these experiences inches on instagram talking about all the incredible strangers i met and what we talked about. I met professional athletes. I met pilots. I met authors parents grandparents. I was going back through my old photos does and i remembered a dashing former race car driver named gus so apparently if you watch my instagram stories you know i have a soft spot for older men named gus but i remember when i told gus what kind of motorcycle road he laughed and said that's the first bike i ever stole does might be the coolest person i've ever met. I i also learned that these interactions didn't have to be particularly meaningful to fill me up. Sometimes they were really meaningful. So once i it was in california on book tour and my escort was driving me back from an event we had a significant amount of time stuck in traffic and she mentioned how much she really enjoyed hearing me talk hawk because her daughter is also recovering addict and that led to a long very heartfelt conversation about how helpless she feels and how much she default like it was her fault and it was me reassuring her that it wasn't and telling her all of the ways that she is already supporting her daughter and how she can support her daughter. It was a really he leave meaningful conversation and a few of those where it was obvious that god put me in this person's path for a reason but without my talking to strangers experiment everyman we never would have really connected. I would say most of them. Were just surface level connections a few like chit chats back and forth and then i left there line or got up from the table but still i was completely surprised by how much i gained from each and every one of these experiences one minute here two minutes there a couple times throughout my day. It left me feeling so good. I was so much happier after i left those engagements and i feel like the people full i left. Were happier to like. We were both smiling. We were both laughing. I feel like i made someone else's day a little bit better and i absolutely know that it made my day better. Another unexpected benefit was that it made me really good at small talk for things like parties or work events. I was already like pretty comfortable in that environment environment but when you get to practice several times a day in these completely safe environments it really bumps up your small talk game like no matter what in these talking stranger experiments your interaction is limited like at some point. I'm walking away and i may not see them again. Chances are never going to so. There's like no pressure whatsoever. It's awkward. If i say something don which i'll tell you about later 'cause i have said my share of dumb things. It's a cautionary tale years years learn and do something different next time but eventually i moved away from like how's your day going to coming up with really creative ways to open conversations nations and i practised staying really present for just those few moments which made me even more comfortable to walk into a party where i didn't know anybody. One of the most common questions i get when i talk about this experiment is what do you do if someone doesn't wanna talk. I honestly can only remember like maybe one or or two times where someone didn't wanna talk like i would open with like something funny or at ask a question and they would just sort of brush it off. Maybe it happened more often than i'm remembering like honestly ninety nine percent of the time. People were really happy to engage with me. I would say it was way more frequent that i didn't wanna talk. I would be in a bad mood. It'd be cranky. Rinke would be overtired. I'd be like over socialized and i would think to myself like i do not wanna come up with something nice to say to this total stranger but i'm gretchen rubin upholder holder so for the sake of the experiment. I would force myself to do it anyway. The most interesting part was that when i was at my crankiest or the most down talking to this total stranger even for just a few minutes completely lifted my spirits. It was an instant and powerful transformation. I was so whole again. I keep saying blown away but like this whole experiment was just so shocking to me that these short interactions with total strangers could affect me so much it was such a powerful lesson in the beauty of human connection and occasionally. These interactions did lead to so much more than just a two-minute interaction with a stranger. My waitress takashi became a friend in real life and now owns my favorite breakfast pot where i see her regularly. I follow more than in one of my starbucks baristas on instagram.
"melissa" Discussed on Weeknight Kitchen with Melissa Clark
"Hey it's Melissa Clark I'm a food writer for the New York Times which means my job is to think and write about food all the time your rubber you get your podcasts
"melissa" Discussed on Do The Thing, with Whole30's Melissa Urban
"She writes, dear Melissa. I need help with self-care particularly around saying, no when work family, friends or life events come up that I don't wanna go to or feel to drain to attend. I always feel like I have to go like they're all obliga- Sion's. That's a really great question. Amanda, in fact, when I asked you recently, what topics, he wanted me to cover in these, dear Melissa segments boundaries, how to set them how to hold them was the number one requested topic? I think this idea of setting boundaries around saying, no it's difficult one. If you're a Gretchen Rubin, oblige her oblige URS respond very well to external expectations. So someone invites you, you feel like they expect you to come, and it's very hard to resist that it's also very hard for obliges too. Hold their inner expectation, which is I actually need to take care of myself right now in saying no to this event would be self care. I do not have this problem. I'm Gretchen Rubin upholder. I've never been a people pleaser. It's not hard for me to say no, it's very easy for me to evaluate my own need for self care against this opportunity to attend. Whatever event happens to be around the corner, but I have learned some tricks along the way because it's not always easy, especially when family or work are involved. And so I've learned some ways to, to help me figure out, whether I really do need to say, yes. Or whether I can hold my boundary instinct to myself care. One thing you can do is questioned. The stressful thoughts associated with attending the event so the first one you could question is I have to attend this event is that true. Like, do you really have to attend the event, if it's your own wedding or your mom's fiftieth birthday party, or a mandatory worked meeting, then, yes, you probably have? To be there. But when you really think about it in my own life, I would say ninety two percent of my social invitations are actually optional. I don't have to go. So thinking about do I really have to attend? This event helps me understand the significance of the event, the impact if I do say, no. And I can then way that against my need for self care. You can also question the stressful thought I don't want to attend this event, ask yourself. Is that true? Do you really not want to attend? Or maybe they're just a particular circumstance in that event that you're avoiding, like I don't wanna be out late tonight or my conservative uncle, and I are going to fight again, or I don't want to have to talk about my break-up, if there's a specific circumstance. That is preventing you from wanting to attend or is draining your capacity to attend. Now, you can ask yourself will do anything to mitigate that I might wanna go to this thing. If. If it wasn't for this doctor. So can you create an if then plan like if someone asks about my break-up, then I'll say it's been tough, but I'm getting through it. Let's talk about something else. Or maybe you can tell your mom to run point if you know, this family member you disagree with starts running their mouth, or you can set an expectation early that you can only pop in for a while. So if you don't wanna be out late. Yeah, I'd love to come. I can only stay for about an hour or so. And then if you find yourself having a great time, there's no reason you can't stay for longer. So questioning the stressful thought around the event might help you get clarity around, whether you do actually want to go and what the consequences might be if you don't go. In fact, that's one of my very favorite tricks. And it's something that my dad taught me a couple months ago. So I was up against my book deadline, but I was also battling the symptoms of my concussion, and I was working myself into the ground to get the book deadline. Don and work on the podcast and work on the way. Website, redesign, and keep my kid alive, and I was doing all of this to the detriment of my own house. So my dad was visiting one weekend and I mentioned during the weekend that I might pop up stairs to write for an hour. And he knew about the book deadline, any looked at me and he said, what's going to happen, if you don't and I was like, what do you mean? And he's like, what's going to happen if you don't turn the book on time and immediately, I was like, oh, well, it's going to be awful. I'm under contract and I have to turn it in on time. And if I've never met never missed a deadline in my life, and he interrupted me and he was like, what's going to happen, if you don't and when I really sat and thought about it. I said, nothing I'm going to tell my editor I need a few more days, and he's gonna say, no problem and that was like an eye opening lightbulb moment for me because I feel like book four we ask ourselves this question, what's gonna happen? If you don't we tend to like, have this airy cloud of dread. Surrounding what would happen if we said? No. Right. It's my first reaction when my dad has the question, which is all my gosh. Everything will be horrible. It's gonna fall apart. Life is going to end as we know it. But if we really dial in on the question when I really stop to think about it and came back with concrete. Realistic answers I realized that saying, no didn't actually have major repercussions, so you know, won't always be like this sometimes saying, no will actually be problematic, like you can't say no to your sister's wedding, even if you don't really wanna go you kind of have to show up. But in most cases, the actual consequences of saying, no are probably pretty minor, like you might miss the opportunity to connect with co workers at the happy hour, or you might get some good natured flak at the next family event for skipping out, or you might hand the book in a few days late. But once you realize the world isn't going to end. You may feel empowered to weigh the car. Quences of saying no against the benefits, you'll gain from holding your boundaries and sticking to yourself care in that instance I did take the weekend off. I did spend it with my family. I did hand the book in a couple of days late. And literally nothing happened. Like what a wow moment for me. Slow clap for my dad now after going through some of these tricks, if you do decide to say no to the event who is don't make up some kind of generic excuse or lie or fake illness to get out of it. You need to practice sticking up for yourself and holding your boundaries and that has to start here. So if you do decide to say, no, Tele truth, and keep it personal. You can say things like my schedule's been really full and I'm rundown. I really need a night at home or I wish I could but you guys are getting started too late. And I've got to get up early in the morning. Sleep is really important to me right now, you can also leave yourself out when you get the invitation. If you're not sure whether you'll have the energy. Event day. So I recently gave this advice to a friend of mine who travels a lot for business, every time, he travels, he's fielding invitations from people saying, oh, you're a see, you're in my town, do you wanna meet for dinner and he texted me from the road a couple of weeks ago when he said, how do you handle this? Like I know I'm in your town. I know we're friends, but I have a really busy schedule, and I don't know if I'm going to be up for this. So what I said to him, was just say that. Hey texter, my schedule's pretty full when I'm in town. But if I have the capacity for meat up, I'll send you a text. And if you happen to be free would love to get together. So no expectations, it leaves the door open should you decide you do want to attend? But now you don't have this obligation during a time where you are already probably stressed or overtired or slightly run down. Finally, if you've been a people pleaser all your life. Don't be surprised when people get mad when you start setting boundaries and holding them. They are very. To you responding the way you've always responded, and they know they can count on. You even if they're kinda taking advantage, or even if you don't wanna do it. And when you change that behavior, and you start standing up for yourself and putting yourself care, I they may not like it. But remember, their reaction is not your problem. Stay in your integrity, communicate effectively an openly but hold fast. You might find that releasing the expectation that every time they ask you have to go makes you even more willing to say. Yes, so there you go. Amanda, I hope that advice helps thank you so much for writing in to do the thing..
"melissa" Discussed on Do The Thing, with Whole30's Melissa Urban
"Hi. My name is Melissa urban, and your listening to do the thing, a podcast where we explore what's been missing every time you've tried to make a change, and make it stick. Today. I'm answering three of your questions. Dear Melissa style will discuss whether staying on the whole thirty longer than thirty days is the way to achieve additional weight loss goals, how mentally hurting disaster when you find things going well in your life can backfire so hard and how to gracefully, but firmly respond to people asking, if you're pregnant, because you turn down a drink. There's a common thread in all of these discussions about the stories we tell ourselves in stressful situations. I hope by exploring these stories, you'll have your own lightbulb moment and be able to hold your boundaries. Shift your perspective, and successfully do the thing, the first dear Melissa question. I'll answer today, I've received so many times since the release of food, freedom forever in two thousand sixteen and it goes like this, dear Melissa, if I still have additional weight to lose shouldn't I just stay on the whole thirty. Can I really afford to move into food freedom? And the essence of the question is actually this, if I have additional weight to lose do I get to move into food, freedom. The I think premise of this question is I'm doing the whole thirty. I know it's not a weight loss diet, but by changing my habits and my health, and my emotional relationship with food, I have lost weight. And if I still have more way to lose shouldn't I just stay in the rules of the program to facilitate me achieving that goal? And the answer is no. In fact, there are so many reasons why staying on the whole thirty because you have a goal weight in mind is actually counterproductive to that goal. So the first thing I'll say is this. I'm not going to tell you not to have a weight loss goal. All that is your business, and though, I will encourage you to approach your health goals in general, from place of self love and self care to do it, helpfully and sustainably to really think about all of the other factors that go into health and wellness and happiness, besides body weight. I'm not gonna tell you not to have a weight loss goal that's entirely up to you. But I will tell you that if you do still have weight to lose according to your own definition staying on the whole thirty is not the answer. I if you decide to stay on the whole thirty until you reach your goal weight. What does that sound like to you, you're on a diet, the whole thirty is no longer a reset? It's no longer an elimination diet. It's no longer about changing your health and your habits and your emotional relationship with food. You've now essentially turned the whole thirty into just another crappy diet, which has never. Worked for you before so thinking about the whole thirty even for the first thirty days, you do it for the right reasons, and in the right way, and you're really embracing the spirit and intention of the program. If you extend to a whole sixty or whole ninety specifically to see if you can lose more weight, you are now bastardising the program to the point where it will not be effective for your purpose because it wasn't built for this, and you didn't sign up for it for this. So don't try to shove this kind of weight loss goal into the framework of the whole thirty because it's not gonna work 'cause it's never worked before, you know, it also feels to me, very punishing. Do I get to move into food freedom? If I still have way to lose no you do not. You must stay in the whole thirty until you achieve your goal weight that is your punishment for your body weight. Like that's not the language or the intention or the mindset that we embrace that whole thirty. And that's not the mindset. That you embraced when you began the whole thirty this is not about punishing yourself. It's not about as signing worth or value to your body weight. And so even asking the question makes it seem as though you feel like you still need to be punished for your body weight. And that is not at all the message that I want to send through the whole thirty another reason I don't want you staying on the whole thirty with the express intention of losing more weight. Is that staying on the program for this reason keeps you obsessing about your body, weight, you know, for the first thirty days, you are embracing the spirit and intention of the program, you were looking for non scale victories, you are denting all the areas in your life, including habits, and your emotional relationship with food that were getting better. But staying on the program specifically because you think you have more weight to lose. Now means you're on the program for weight loss. And the only thing you're going to be focused on is your body weight. So on thirty six
"melissa" Discussed on Do The Thing, with Whole30's Melissa Urban
"My name is Melissa Hartwig urban. I'm the whole thirty co founder and CEO and today. I wanna tell you about my very first podcast, do the thing my thing is helping people change their health habits and relationship with food. But this isn't a podcast about food through the whole thirty, I've used as a conduit to open the door to other topics addiction and recovery. Entrepreneurship money, relationships and self care. See all of you right now have a thing, maybe it's something you want to start doing going to the gym working through trauma saving money or pursuing a career you love. Maybe it's something you wanna stop doing eating too. Numb your feelings putting up with toxic relationship or comparing yourself on social media. It's the hurdle, you can't clear, the story that won't go away the goal, that's always just out of reach you need it, you want it, but you still aren't doing it. And you don't know why this podcast is about exploring. What's been missing every time you've tried to do the thing together with my guests authors? Doctors, trainers, therapists, and people just like you. We'll help you find your voice take the first step chart, a realistic PA and level up for good. If your ready to overcome negative patterns and empower yourself to finally do the thing, here's your first step. Visit whole thirty dot com slash podcast. Subscribe, yes, I know I'm starting you off with an easy one, but doesn't it feel good to do something will start rolling on April, thirtieth so subscribe, and stay tuned?
"melissa" Discussed on Melissa Hunter
"Podcast. Episode one. Oh, five. I am Melissa hunter. Your host also known to some people on the internet as mommy and this week. I want to talk to you about gratitude now I know this is an overused word technique law kinds of stuff in the self help world and the success world in religion and everything else that's out there. But you know what just shut up and be grateful. There's a reason sometimes that things get overused. Sometimes it's because it's a buzzword, like low hanging fruit or take it to the next level, or we're going to ten exit and sometimes it's because it's a tried and true throughout eternity thing. The people just need to do, and that people are not doing the reason why gratitude over. In the past decade, or so has become such a hot topic is because people have stopped being grateful. We have just become a society of complaining babies. I'm sorry. This is a little bit negative for me. I'm usually a lot more positive because I'm actually really grateful to be here. Folks, you know, people think that I'm just sometimes a little bit of a pollyanna that I see things as positive all the time. And there's a reason for that, it's because I've spent my entire life battling depression anxiety, in, so I have to be consciously aware all the time of what my mind is doing. That's how I mean tain my mental health and it's interesting Jared pedal aqui from supernatural. Don't laugh at me. I'm a supernatural. Fan and jarred is an amazing mental health warrior, and he said at a supernatural convention last year, that you need to get aggressive about yourself care, and your mental health, and that's absolutely true. You need to be really aggressive about this, and you need to get aggressive about gratitude people because if you're miserable, the reason you're miserable is because you don't realize how awesome your life actually is. So let me kind of try to give you the Melissa perspective, and the maybe you can apply this to your life. So for two years while I was well, I still am. But so for two years, I was going through an MS therapy called Teis Avary was a once a month infusion the stuff was great. You can only do it for two years, though, because after that, then your risk for a brain eating infection that. Would leave you a vegetable or kill you and my risk was particularly high because I had a high tighter this particular virus in my body, but I could do it for two years, which was awesome that two years bought me time until other therapies became available that we're able to get me under control. So I'm very grateful for those two years. But during those two years every month, I would go to the chemotherapy center at our at our medical center. And I would be sitting there me, you You know. know dragging a foot a little tired. A little numb as spasms here, and there me poor little me surrounded by women my age, who were skin and bones who were hairless vomiting, struggling, they were fighting for their lives against one form of cancer or another. And sometimes, I would see the new people in this was their first chemo treatment, and they had all the questions and they would look around at the other people in that room. It's not a private situation. I'll just sitting in these chairs sort of arranged in a circle staring at each other. It's kind of a very strange situation and, you know, and I could see the look in their eyes. Like, oh, my God, that's gonna be me and six weeks, twelve weeks. And I would sit there and I would thank God I would be so. Grateful that I only mess, and that MS while inconvenient was not going to kill me. And so I was really, really grateful. And I was reminded every month to be so grateful, that this is what I got in God willing, this is all I will get. And I'm good with that. I am totally good with that. I could be in a wheelchair five years from now. God forbid, it looks like that's not gonna happen. But if it happened, I would still be grateful, because my brother reminded me when I first got diagnosed they were, they were looking at the time to decide if the big thing on my spinal cord was a lesion MS, or if it was a spinal cord tumor, and I said being rational frame of mind, I really wanted to be a spinal cord tumor because then they can cut it out. I can. Radiation or chemotherapy, and then I'll be able to dance at my daughter's wedding, and my brother. Michael said. If it's MS he'll make it to your daughter's wedding. Even if you're in a wheelchair if it's a spinal cord tumor, you might not live to see your daughter's wedding. And I was like, ooh reality check your right? It cancer actually is worse cancer, Trump's MS every time. So that's kind of the way I look at things, I'm like a super grateful person. And I spend an awful lot of time in my consulting practice coming across people who complain a lot, and, and people like to come to me to complain and more and more. I've been shutting them down because it's like don't harsh my mellow. If you're coming to me, because you want my systens you want to hire me, you want my consulting, my coaching my advice. Hey, I'm here. But know that I'm going to give you a pep talk crying. And we're gonna talk about the first. Thing that you need to do is to stop with this complaining thing that you're doing the over problem. It's deal with it. Let's look at how we can fix it. Let's talk about some techniques so we can get you to a better place. Don't just keep coming to me, complaining and complaining and complaining and complaining. I mean you need to put perspective around your life. Sometimes you're listening to a podcast right now which means that you live somewhere on this planet where you are able to listen to a podcast keep in mind that millions if not billions of people. Do not have the technology to listen to a podcast. As a matter of fact, they don't have clean water. Take a moment. Take that in and be grateful. And I'm asking everybody in life to just stop for a second and be amazed because if you're listening to this podcast believe you live in, in society where you can listen to a podcast where you have enough money to go buy a latte, half calf. Allman mill splendid of Frappuccino over ice with some cold foam, right? I mean you live in that world you live in a world where you don't just make a Cup of coffee in your mister coffee at home anymore. You live in a world where you're walking around with this lake amazing electric device with these thing in your ears. And you're listening to someone talk to you while you're going to a job or picking your kid from school or. While you're going for a walk or exercising at the gym, because you have to exercise at the gym, because getting old, and you're gaining wheat, and you gotta lose weight because you don't walk five miles each way to get probably cholera infested war. Let's let's get you'll gratitude hat on. And while you're walking on the treadmill or, or standing on this crowded subway, which in July smells, heinous be grateful for the fact that you're there, and that you're not somewhere else. How about being grateful that you woke up this morning, less Brown said, you know, any day above ground is a great day. Sometimes it seems reductive I know. But guys, it's true. I mean you can be part of the heard of bleeding complaining cows, who are just logging around in the field all day. This axe move move. My life's moods grass every day, right? Or you could be brave and you could be bold and you could become a bird and you can join me up here in the sky. Now, I will tell you that I've fly alone a lot, but it's really cool. The view from up here is amazing. It's breathtaking. It's all inspiring, and I'm, I'm so happy, and I feel so blessed because I'm grateful. I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful that I'm sitting here doing this podcast right now. I am grateful that my husband put together these really awesome at Iran, dictators that thanks to having a YouTube channel we were able to purchase because if we did not have YouTube channel things would be a little bit tighter around here, and there wouldn't be money to do extra, get really cute at Rhonda chairs for the backyard. No, I'm not making millions of dollars on YouTube now I'm not making the tons of money that we were making in two thousand fifteen so we were able to go on huge first class trips to Disney every years sometimes twice a year. But you know what I got to do that. And. And I'm got these really cool Adirondack chairs that really excited about as a matter of fact, I may take a picture of them and make them thumbnail for this podcast. I'm so grateful for those chairs and for the money to have those chairs see this is where the magic happens with gratitude when you're grateful things start to happen. And that's not why you should be grateful. And a lot of people teach gratitude as a success strategy, not me. I teach credited because you just should be you may or may not become successful, whatever that means to you, you may or may not become rich because you decide to become a grateful person in join me up here as bird being all grateful, and riding the clouds and all that kind of stuff, and that might not happen. Might not, but you'll be enjoying life, and I don't know to me that seems like success enjoying life. Always seems like success to me as a matter of fact, being alive to me seem successful, although I do believe in an afterlife, and that it's a great place. But at the same time, I'm like, not in a big hurry to get there. If you want to have a successful life, happy, life of fulfilling life, you need to get grateful. You need to shut up and be grateful. The first thing I'm gonna ask you to do on this podcast. And we will revisit this topic many, many times. But here's what we asked. You really simple. I want to get a little notebook. Yes. A notebook. Now there is a great gratitude app that I use. But, but pen and paper really is more powerful. I hate to admit that too, because I have trouble writing because of the so I can never read, what I right, but I still right. Because it is a powerful thing that happens with your. When you put pen to paper or pencil to paper in my case anyway, so I want you to start an end each day for thirty days by writing down five things that you're grateful for these do not have to be big things. Okay. I'm very often especially right now in July very often on my gratitude list is air conditioning, and I write it a seat, because I wouldn't be grateful for men immigrate air conditioning. I'm grateful for things like clean water. I'm often grateful for my bed. I really like my bed. I'm grateful for my house grateful for my computer really grateful from iphone, really loved my iphone. I'm grateful for my cats. I'm grateful for you know, if it was a nice day. Sometimes I'm grateful for rain because we needed it. I'm grateful for my dolls. I'm grateful obviously, for my husband for greasy for my family, but it can be really simple stuff, whatever. Just in the moment, you're grateful. For what I'm trying to tell you, as you don't need to write war in peace about what you're grateful for just want you to pause in the morning when you wake up and right before you go to bed and rate, a minimum of five things that you're grateful for they don't have to be things that happened that day..
"melissa" Discussed on Melissa Hunter
"To everybody's mommy this week. I wanna talk to you about priorities and what I like to call. You can't actually have it all. Well, see the thing is, is that you can have it. All you just can't have it all at the same time and priorities, like plural is actually impossible. So I looked up the word priority to understand what a priority really is. And it's a thing a thing that is regarded as more important than another. So I know that when we talk about priorities in business and work in life. We talk about prioriti-. Ising our life. And so we're going to say that, okay, this thing is the most important in this next thing is the next most important. And then we've got this third most important thing in this, like, and then you're like we're on the eighth. Most important thing in the problem. Is that anytime we call something a priority in our minds? We're saying that this thing is like super important, and more important than almost everything else in our life. And as entre preneurs, we have a tendency to have multiple priorities, and that leads very quickly to overwhelm while. It's okay to try to be juggling multiple projects and in life. I mean is a multiple project. I mean, your, your apparent your spouse, your employees or a business owner, your daughter, your sister, your friend. I mean. Those are roles and within those roles obviously, we have some built in priorities. You know, family comes first kids are the most important thing. But when we're talking in terms of business, and managing projects, then we need to really, really get saying here about what we're prioritizing and how we are prioritizing guys, you can't have eight priorities. You just you can't. I've tried it can't be done. I realized that a situation that I had put myself in was that I had three priority projects. Well, okay, originally, I had five priority projects, even though I know better, two of them were events and then the other three were new initiatives that I'm working on. And I was trying to do the two. The most important things. Well, okay. I was trying to do those top three Harry. Let's be honest. I was trying to do. All five of them at the same time, I was treating all five as if they were the priority, because you see, they were my priorities, and that was not working out for me now we're gonna end at all. So I had to take a step back. Take a deep breath. Get out my notebook. I'm with I can still do paper. I like paper. I can't read a thing. I right. But just the activity of writing gives me some sort of a sanity. But if you want to do this type and really sit down and write out each project. Why it was a priority. Why is this one of my priorities, and why does it have this date associated with it in three out of five of those cases, those dates were set by me, because in order for me to not procrastinate it's very important for me to put due dates on projects now two of them were events. So they kind of had their own built in urgency. You know, but the other three were mine, and I had assigned dates and those dates were all sort of clustering together here in July and August. And I was freaking out because every day I was feeling so overwhelmed. And I realized that the more overwhelmed and freaked out, I got the less productive. I was becoming I sat down last night. Did breathing. I got centered Agom focused got my notebook and I asked myself, why? So I'm going to share with you. What my priorities are were working on launching online, courses, I've got rebooting and rebranding my YouTube channel, and I've got building a new branch of family video network. And these all three of them were kind of clustered together, and I was trying to get them all done by July thirty first and because that's the date I said in my head, so I sat down. And when I asked myself, wise this priority for each one of those things I realized that what I originally thought was the number one position priority, which was launching might online courses. And that whole new piece of my business was actually not number one. What was really number one was the rebranding and rebooting of my YouTube channel number two was actually not the launching of my online courses, but. Launching and growing this new branch of family video network. And then in the third spot is my online courses, now, the reason that originally put the online courses at number one was because this is something that I have always always wanted to do. And I have always put off and I said that this was the year. I was going to do it, and come hell or high water this year I was doing it. I was going to put it out there. I was going to start teaching and start doing webinars, and it was going to happen this year and you know what it's still is going to happen this year, but because I put this pressure on myself, and I tied it up with all of this emotion and stuff. I didn't realize that when I stopped to look at the ROI of these things that one really didn't need to be number one, now return on investment for me doesn't necessarily mean how much money am I going to make return on? Investment for me. The payoff for me is, what is it going to give to me, not just financially but in terms of joy and fulfillment because I have found that when I'm joyful and fulfilled I make money a successful. Mommy is a happy, mommy but really a happy. Mommy is a successful, mommy. When I looked at the priorities again. And I asked the why the rebranding and rebooting of my channel is something that gets me so excited, and it's going to be so much fun and have all of these really fun ideas for it, and I haven't been focusing on it because it wasn't the number one priority. But in reality, in terms of payoff of joy, and excitement and fulfillment, and a whole bunch of other personal stuff. It's number one. And here's the thing in terms of finances. It is also number one, because my YouTube channel is my venture capitalist for all of my other projects. And there is a time sensitivity to it because I wanna get this puppy relaunched enrolling in time for it to be super hot and happening for q four for the holiday shopping season because that's when all of the sponsor deals are going to come in for a channel like mine that has to do with dolls and toys. Ding priority number one. So then courses became priority number two, but then I was asking myself. Why on my family video network new branch and the why there is really compelling? It's about helping other people. It's about serving a group of under served people in the YouTube population that it's their time. And this is is the people that I'm working with are so jazzed in so excited and so ready to go, and I just, it's just going to be so exciting. And so fulfilling to see this come together, and there may be zero financial ROI behind this, especially in the beginning. And that's okay because what the ROI what the payoff is going to be for me in terms of fulfillment, and joy, and excitement is huge. So ding priority number two, and then they've got the courses. Yes, this is still a priority for me. And the why is still the same. And yes, there could be a significant ROI financially on this. And it does mean a lot to me, emotionally and spiritually, but it doesn't mean as much. As those first two. And so to make sure that I am focusing on priority number one in making progress on priority. Number one, not only if I set a date for it. Because because that's all well and good. I've also got myself a little notebook I'm into little notebook. So got a little notebook mccarey my purse, and I am going to track and rate down. Everything that I do every day for that priority to make sure that I am doing things every day for that priority, because you see, that is the priority that is more important than anything else. And so I better be spending more time on that every day than any other project. I'm working on. Yes. See how that works that's prioritizing, and you cannot prioritize five things. You just can't. You just can't prioritizing means there's one thing out there that is giving the bulk of your attention. You've got a secondary thing that gets some attention. And then at most. You've got a third thing that you touch a couple of times a week, if you've got more than three things and you don't have like a team that you can assign things to you're gonna go nuts and you're gonna get so overwhelmed. And if you're like me, you're just gonna like freeze and nothing is actually going to get done because especially if you're prioritizing five different things means you're doing little bits of it every day, when you do little bits of little things every day, nothing ever gets done. You need to just get in there digging gator done. And now I invite you to do the prioritizing project sit down right up all of whatever you think your priorities are right now and you can include your family and your relationships and all that stuff. But those fall under a different category, and they always take precedence, but right down your priorities, and right out why they are priority. Why does this need to be? Be the thing that is the most important consider each one as if it's going to be the thing, the priority, and then consider the ROI not just financially, but emotionally and psychologically, and then look at all of them and figure out which one really is the priority, and then which one is your secondary project, and then what's the third one that you can sort of work on couple times a week until you finish priority? Number one, and then it can move up the ladder that is your assignment this week. And then I invite you to enjoy the I cannot tell you how much there was in my life last night. The Cy of relief. The letting go the being able to breathe of having one priority. One thing that I am focused on completely like I'm so zen right now. I'm so relaxed and it's funny because after I did that I immediately just jumped into all of the things that for some reason, I haven't been doing on that, that were so easy to do like getting the stuff out to get my logo done, and sending the color palette to the production company and like all this stuff that I just like why didn't I do the easy stuff but somehow it wasn't getting done. I did it because, you know, once you figure out what your priority is you just go for it. Thank you so much listening. You can find out more about me at Melissa hunter dot com..
"melissa" Discussed on Melissa Hunter
"I was about a three hundred dollars short of the twenty thousand dollars and someone paid me in cash for some consulting work that I had done. And I said to Bill, I was like, hey, so it's so paid in cash, how cool is that? And he's like, and with that just hit your twenty thousand dollars. Kinda crazy. So I have written another check for something very specific that needs to happen by October first, and I, I don't know where that money's gonna come from. But that's not my thing. I don't need to figure out where the money's gonna come from God in the universe takes care of where the money comes from how the money happens. You just got to believe that it's going to happen, and you have to believe it every day, and I look at my check every day, and I rate it in my planner every day. And until I manifested all twenty thousand of the twenty thousand dollars. I looked at that check every day. I visualized giving the check to Bill every day. I wrote in my planner every day that I was manifesting twenty thousand extra dollars by may. I it was in my prayers every day, I thank God for helping me to manifest twenty thousand extra dollars by may. I noticed how just rolls off my tongue because I said it constantly and I visualized it constantly it works. It sounds stupid. It sounds woo. But when you. Get past the stupid in the woo. When you get to the place where you realize that there is an actually, there is an infinite amount of money out there and that whatever you need. You can have you just gotta believe it. That's all. It's that simple stupidly. Simple, just ridiculously simple, and I am working through, and you have my stupid stories about money. Even if the stupid story is a little bit sad about a little girl who got money in love and abandonment, all kind of smushed together in her little head. Even if it's that kind of stupid story, even if it's like a tragic back story you can still work through it. And when you work through it, then the money just keeps coming. I just keep getting money from nowhere. And by the way, after the after the seventeen thousand dollars, I just would randomly I it's funny because I told my friend that night I'm just I'm I just keep sitting here, clicking refresh on my Email. I want more money to come in the Email and it did. And I also got a check in the mail from some class action settlement with AT and T for fourteen dollars. I got another check in the mail for some sort of refund for something for seven dollars like I would just get these random checks from nowhere. And just I would just laugh cashed. Every one of them I got a check for like a dollar something. I cashed it. I'd find money on the ground. I'll pick that up. And I was at going towards my twenty thousand dollars because you also have to respect it and know that it's coming from a bunch of different sources. But guys, it works just whatever your stupid story is about money. You try to look into the why why what, what's going on with me and money? And I highly recommend sitting down and writing a letter to money, I highly recommend the book. You are a bad ass that book looks a little silly. And the title might put some people off my gosh, I have read that book, three times now that book is amazing Jensen zero is a mazing. It's absolutely amazing and whatever you're stupid stories. You're limiting beliefs. Your tragic back story about money, your reason why you think that you can't manifest money or that you shouldn't manifest money. Let it go okay in order for you to do good in the. World. You need to be okay? You need to be taken care of to be. Oh, came be taken care of, especially in the western world. You need to have money. In order to employ people, you need to be able to pay them in order to give to charity, you need to have money. You need money. Money is okay. I promise you, you will not become an evil person. If you have a lot of money you are already a good person. So when you have a lot of money you will do good things with a lot of money. I know you will just like I know we will because we do, and we have, and the more money we have the more money we can give the more jobs. We can create for people. The more we can give to the world. So I'm good with it. I'm good with manifesting all the money that I need. So I encourage you to do some manifestation. If you do manifest, let me know I wanna hear about it. Send me an Email at. Manifest at Melissa hunter dot com. That's right. I created Email address just to hear your manifesting stories. So that's manifest at Melissa hunter dot com. And thank you guys so much for listening to the just go for it podcast. That's right. I want you to just go for it when it comes to manifesting money. And whatever it is that you want to do in life. Don't wait any more just go for it. Thank you so much for listening. I'll talk to you again next week. Bye..
"melissa" Discussed on Melissa Hunter
"This week on just go for it. I get so excited that I found on the desk so much you can hear it. Welcome to the just go for it podcast with me, your host, Melissa hunter, aka mommy to all the nice people on the internet this week. We're going to talk about manifesting money and what complete and utter nonsense. That is until you manage to manifest seventeen thousand dollars while you run out to get burgers at five guys, I have been a self hell self exploration personal development growth person. Whatever since I was about thirteen years old in our family, counselor gave me a book called notes to myself, and I discovered that people wrote books about how to become a better person or a better me and I just I got hooked. So I'm fifty years old. So what does that like thirty seven years? So it's a long time. And so I've read oh gosh. So many books and listened to so many. Tapes. Yes tapes. They used to be on cassette tapes, and then they were on CDs and now they're on audible and read the books watched videos, I've gone to events, I've gone to Tony Robbins events. I've gone to so many events, I've seen John Maxwell, and I've learned so much, and I've gained so much and, and become someone that I'm proud to be over the years, and the one little sticking point that I've had along the way had to do with money now. I grew up without money. Money was a struggle in our home. My mom was a single mom. My grandmother helped her raise us. Didn't live in. We didn't live in the gutter, but we didn't live in greatest area and it was a bit of a struggle. So I, I grew up believing money was a struggle and a carried that into my adulthood, and even as I studied with all of these people who kept talking about, you know, just changing your mindset about money, and manifesting money, it that one piece never exactly clicked for me. And then, you know, the secret came out, and there was all this manifesting talk, and manifesting became like the buzz word, right? You could manifest anything you could manifest a Maserati, you could manifest your perfect mate. You could manifest anything and honestly over the years, I have manifested just about everything except money. I manifest people like you would not believe when I need people in my life. To help me, grow doubt me do something or to learn something, I just turn around and I am meeting, some new person somewhere at an event door randomly in a store, and just meet people, and I need the perfect people. When I need them, I manifest people. No problem, I manifest success with no problem, I manifest. I manifest did my husband. I actually thanks to twenty Robins. I sat down or night road out exactly what I wanted in a mate, it was like it was like a shopping list. And if he were to go look at that list, and talked to my husband, you would realize that I manifested my perfect meet exactly. It's actually kinda creepy, but the money piece and every time people would start talking about manifesting money are manifesting things like houses, or cars, or anything that had to do specifically with money or financial gain. I would always sort of switch that off in my head. I would I would get this lucrative be feeling. I get this like the vibe right? And you might be there, you might be there with me like I can believe all of this other stuff, but the money and for some people, it's that they feel like asking God for money or manifesting, money is not spiritual. That's for some people. That wasn't really it for me. I didn't think that money wasn't spiritual. I just it just felt itchy because I had a lot of limiting beliefs around money. So is reading the book, you are a bad ass by Jensen, Sarah, and Jen, great big hug, and squeeze you. When I finally meet you in, in the book, Jen has a lot of exercises. And one of the exercises is to write a letter to money. Now it sounds really hokey and stupid. But I in, in this wonderful year of two thousand eighteen I decided that I was going to once and for all. Paul address and work through my issues around money because I realized that I had some deep seated negative issues around money, and that, that was affecting the financial success and stability of my family. So an notice I just made that about my family. I didn't make it about me. I'm working on that. It's like still I'm doing it from a family of not for myself still working through these things guys. But see I notice it when I do it now. So I wrote sat down got my pin got my notebook, and I sat down to write my letter to money and I did not expect it to go where it went guys. And I know what you wondering right now. You're, like, are you going to tell us about how you manifest seventeen thousand dollars while you were getting hamburgers? Yes, I am. This is the story. So I sat down and wrote this letter, and it went to this really. Early unexpected place when I was a little girl I lived with my grandparents, and my mother and my brothers. My grandfather was the light of my life. He was everything to me and pretty much whenever he was sitting in the living room, at least once a day, I'd walk through the living room. And my grandfather would say baby here, I got something for you. And I would climb up on his lap. And by the way, I was the light in his life, because his only son died of a heart attack when he was thirty years old when I was baby and, and having me in their lives to take care of kind of helped my grandfather go on. And so I'm climb up in his lab. And we would do whatever nursery rhymes story is got your nose. You know, the kind of stuff you do with your grandpa, and then he would give me a couple of pennies a nickel dime. Wooh. A quarter. You know, whatever kind of little change he had in his pocket. And he had given me this plastic piggy Bank, and he would tell me go run and put it in the Bank, and I would go run, and I would put the money in my piggy Bank and. You see what happened was, was that for me, money and love became connected, and you're like, well, how could that be a bad thing? Well, when I was ten years old without any explanation without talking to me without anything I went to school. And when it came home. My grandfather was gone. He left my grandmother, he left all of us. He left us. He left me. He just left. And I didn't see him again until five years later when he had died. And it. You know, crushed little Melissa. He was my world. He was my light. He was. He was my grandpa. He was everything to me, and that, that was the first in a series of distabilise ations in my life. But that one was really, really hard hitting. I realized and I had not thought about any of this until I was writing the letter to money as I was writing the letter to money. I think one of the instructions was to think about sort of first memory of money, and I realized that my first memories of money were of my grandfather and sitting on his lap and the love and the piggy Bank. And he left me. And I completely fell apart completely fell apart writing this, this letter, and they went into other things with the letter, but I realized that. Wow. Who did not expect it to go there, right? It's kind of heavy kind of heavy for this podcast. Melissa usually a lot of funnier. You're stupid stories are usually a lot funnier. This one's not so stupid. But it is a stupid story. Guys. This is a limiting belief me believing that somehow money and love are connected, and that money can leave you just like love. Can leave you here's last stuff going on in there that, that I needed to work through. And so, I started to work on my, my relationship with money and I decided that I was going to manifest money I was going to do this. I can do this. So I sat down and I decided that I was going to manifest twenty thousand dollars twenty thousand extra dollars. This is very important. Twenty thousand. Extra dollars for my husband by may, I, I was going to I was going to manifest this money because I wanted him to be able to go. Join this golf club that he he liked and we weren't gonna be able to do that this year. And I thought that something that he really wanted. And so I was going to do that. I sat down. I got out the checkbook. I wrote a check out to my husband twenty thousand dollars. I put a date of may I on it. I clipped it onto my planner and I was going to every day I was going to pick up that check. And I was gonna kiss it and the whole thing I was I was in, man. I was so in. So I did this wrote the letter, I wrote the check, and then I had to run out to five guys to get burgers for my teenager. So I get in the car, I go over to five guys get a burger a job home give the burgers to the teenager. I go look at my Email in I have to. Emails from two different brands one, offering me, ten thousand dollars for video and one, offering me six thousand dollars for video that my friends is sixteen thousand dollars. I was gone for like twenty minutes. So, like within an hour of writing the check for twenty thousand dollars. I got sixteen thousand dollars in my Email that six thousand dollars turned into seven thousand dollars because they wanted it rushed. And here's the important piece of this puzzle. I don't get brand deals. You know, let me change that I didn't use to get brand deal, offers just randomly out of nowhere, by the way, since I've changed my money manifesting mind, set, I have gotten more sponsored video requests in the first seven months here of two thousand eighteen then I got in all of the first six years of doing the mummy and Gracie show, because I changed my money, manifesting mindset, it's absolutely insane. I would I gotta tell you guys when I came home and I got those emails like now I'm all like. To. I'm like one of those people who's onstage go. And that's right. And I had a Lamborghini, by the end of that you guys I had chills, I was freaking out. I was texting miss Robin. I was jumping up and down. And telling my husband, I was telling the teenager who was looking at me like. I tell my mother had to tell everybody I was so freaked out. It was so quick, and specific and God knows that I'm a little dense sometimes in. So when he's going to try and show me something he does ri- call. What can the across the head with a two by four like Bong like okay, do you get it? Now. You can manifest money. Guys, you can really do it. He just got to get really specific about what you want, when you want it, why you want it. And then you have to believe that it can happen. It really all you need to do now. I know that sounds so simple. But, but, but, but, but the thing is for the first time I really believed it. I wrote that check, I visualized myself handing the check to Bill on may first and saying to him. I manifested this for you, because I love you and I want you to be happy and handing him the check and I believed that I could do it. And so I did. You know, I think that's a quote. She believed that she could do it. So she did guys I it. It's really that stupidly. Simple. It really really is. I mean, I cannot believe it. It was that easy now to continue to manifest money and stay on the good side of money. I do need to continue to work at it because it's easy to backslide. It's very easy, and I actually did hit the goal of twenty thousand dollars but I actually hit it the second week in may while I was at an event called clamor..
"melissa" Discussed on Melissa Hunter
"Amy porterfield. Oh my gosh. She din yellow port Gabby Bernstein. All these wonderful women. I follow. Tony Robbins been like a Tony Robbins. Acolytes and smacked twenties with other referral for twenty five years. Tony. But they are not the secret to my success. I am the secret sauce. You are your own secret sauce. You are the secret sauce in your life and your business, and you need to realize that I want to share a stupid. Little Melissa story with you, and it's really sweet, and it's really funny, but it does tie into foam. Oh, because I was I was, I had the worst foam. Oh, this might have been my first case of foam out. So I was about three years old somewhere somewhere in there. Very little. And this is actually my first memory of, of being in church and, and we're Catholic, we were raised Catholic twelve years of Catholic school. I was at my oldest brothers. I think it must have been his first, holy confession which I think now is called the sacrament of penance or something or no. I'm sorry. It's now called the Sacramento reconciliation we like to change the names. We like. To change the names, mechanic church like to keep you on your toes. So I must have been about three and I remember his soul, clearly forty-seven years later, because it was my first case foam. Oh, so we're all sitting there it's a packed church and it's very important ceremony. I got that I knew I was dressed up. I knew that I had to be like, super quiet and good. There was at some point that the priests said any, who's probably Bishop, if it was a confirmation, but doesn't matter. He said, you know, the important mandatory to God told me that God was now going to. Descend, an and be among us. And I was so excited because this was the moment. This was the big moment. The big man was coming. I was finally going to see God I was in his house. Right. And the priests said he was gonna come and be with us now. And I was so psyched. I cannot tell you, I still remember. I sat there and I was looking around the church, and we, it's very old school Catholic church that I grew up in and the relax of statues, and so now looking at all the statues, because my dad used to take us to a lot of those Herri Henry housing movies, like the Sindbad movies where the statue would come to life like claim Asian stuff like stop motion. So I'm looking at all the statues, and I'm thinking, maybe one of the statues is going to come to life. That's god. Right. This is what I'm thinking. And then look, I'm looking around. I'm like, okay. That's not happening. Oh, maybe, maybe he's just going to be like a ghost and he's going to come down from the ceiling. So I'm looking at these this very ornate ceiling that we have, and I'm looking for I'm looking all over the church now and they're still, there's just droning and they're singing people are doing stuff and kneeling and I'm looking around and I'm waiting and he's not coming. And I remember I was looking at my mom like the she him is like can everybody else? See him. And I can't am I am. I too little to see him. So I never actually asked. But for very long time after that, I was too embarrassed to admit that I didn't see him by the way, anyone tell anybody that, you know, when God came and y'all saw him. I didn't I don't know. I, I was just it was. It was about. But I you know what? I really felt like I was so mad after that because I felt like I got gypped, that's right. I got gypped everybody else saw God. I didn't I missed out foam. Oh my first foam. Oh and, and I was really annoyed for a really. And I still get foam. Oh, I mean, I still do it's like every event that I up for I go to an event. And I know that there's a piece of me, there's a part of me inside. That is saying this, this is going to be the event that, that, that, that mega shift that huge shift inside me happens in, I finally break through all of my blocks and emerge triumphant like the butterfly out of the chrysalis, but that's not really how it works. It really doesn't as I said, it's just a series. It's just a series of moments in our lives. Like I missed out on B school. Right. Marie four Leo. Does discreet be school thing? I didn't know about Marie folio or be school until right after be school registration closed this year. I was so upset only go. No, but you know what? I don't have to wait until next year to launch a successful podcast or coaching business because I missed be school. I don't have to wait for be school. Am I going to go to school next year, certainly hope? So I think I would like to, but I don't need to wait until I go to be school to succeed. That's a stupid story. Okay. I don't need to have the most perfect Email funnel. Right. I don't have to have the biggest Email list to be a success. I don't need any of those things. Everything I need is inside me. Everything you need is in side of you. We are all that we need to be successful to be happy. And by the way, if you do want to see God, I know where he is. Now, I figured it out, you know, fifty years been around for well, I figured out how to see God I look in the mirror, f why the secret sauce to everything is in side of you. You are the magic pill knowing that you are God, knowing that you have everything you need right? At your fingertips anytime you need it. That's the magic. That's the magic and anything else is a stupid story. So I'm not saying you need to stop reading, and stop going to events, stop listening to podcast. Oh, no. Please keep listening to podcasts. Make sure you are following the just go for it podcast. But don't tell yourself that if you miss an episode of a podcast that everybody's talking about everybody's talking about this podcast. And I missed it. Everybody was talking about this event that I didn't go to now. I can't be successful. Please don't do that to yourself. Use your tools but don't get obsessed with your tools. Don't do what I did. I spent a year year at least year trying to decide which platform and funnel system at cetera. To launch my online coaching business year league really seriously, just like whip up a WordPress site. And like just tell your friends, Melissa lake, you know, a lot of people what the heck, and I'm still sort of procrastinating on it. Honestly, I'm still this message is for me as much as for you. You know, this is a stupid story them telling myself that my website has to look just so before I launch it, and, and, and that my courses have to have this certain look before I put them out there, but over it because, you know what my real foam is real foam. Oh, is lying on your deathbed and not having done everything that you could have done and everything that you wanted to do. That's the real foam. Oh. Real foam. Oh hits on your deathbed until then there is no foam. Oh, there is no phone ABI K. There is just you. And just going for it just know that you have everything you need, and the most amazing things happen, when you step out in faith when you just go for it when you start moving forward, when you give yourself forward momentum and, and just go for it. Everything starts to fall in place. And then not just say that because is the title of this podcast I'm saying because it's true. So say no to foam, oh, become a recovering foam hallock with me. Let go of phone to be you can do it. We can all do it together. You are enough. I am enough. We are enough. We just gotta go for it. I thank you so much listening. If you enjoy this podcast, please tell your friends. Please tell them about the crazy woman who thought she was going. See God when she was three years old. And until we meet again, remember, whatever you wanna do whatever idea, you have don't we just go for it. But..
"melissa" Discussed on Melissa Hunter
"Episode number two with your host, Melissa hunter. That's me to the people and the internet. I am known as mommy, but you can go ahead and call me Melissa or mommy, whatever works for you today. We need to talk about a really, really important thing. It's foam. Oh, do you have foam? Oh, do you know what foam is foam? Oh is fear of missing out now? This is a term that sort of joined the lexicon of our modern world because people watching other people do things on social media were getting foam. Oh, they were seeing people at parties in having what appeared to be beautiful. Wonderful lives in there. They felt like they were missing out so this term foam. Oh coined. And I kind of like the term foam. Oh, but we're not going to talk so much about. Seeing people on gorgeous vacations or at parties that we weren't invited to and dealing with foam. Oh, we're gonna talk about foam, oh, and the work Hollick. Now, I am a recovering alcoholic, and I'm an entrepreneur, and we will at some point talk about how the heck do you manage to do those two things? But today we're talking about foam. Oh, so I want to just throw out a couple of blog headlines that I've seen lately, and I want you to think, when you read these, how do you feel? So we've got five productivity hacks. To guarantee success, the three things all billionaires do in the morning. The one change that will ten x your business. Entrepreneurs online, these headlines will sound really, really familiar. There's things like if you only read one book this year for your business blank, how I grew my Instagram following by one hundred thousand people in three weeks, and you feel like you gotta jump on. You got to read it. You've got to use this tool. You've got a follow this system, because if you don't you might be missing out foam. Oh fear of missing out now. You need understand that all these titles are designed to prey on your foam. Oh, and I know this because I write these headlines, I know how to pray on foam. Oh, I also am a recovering foam. Oh, hollick. That's right. I've just going to new term foam, a holic. So there's workaholic which I am. Covering from workaho ISM, but I also realize I am a foam Hollick, and, and it's really it's really not a fake thing because what happens is you become so obsessed with this fear that you are missing out on the one key thing, or the three key things or you're not doing the three things that could change your.
"melissa" Discussed on Melissa Hunter
"So I have a confession to make my hair is not spiritual enough. See if you haven't seen a picture of me, I have this really short pixie cut like really, really short. And it's not one of those pixie cuts where like you gotta leg blow dry and flat, iron and use product and all kinds of stuff like that. Ain't nobody got time for that. I've super straight hair, I super shirt, pixie cut. I basically wash my hair I do condition. I do condition. I'm proud of myself. I actually put conditioner in my hair, and then I let it dry. And if I have to do something, I spread some stuff on it that I got at the salon that makes it look like it has some texture and I'm good to go. So what does that have to do with being spiritual or not being spiritual? Well, I was at Gabby Bernstein, spirit junkie. Masterclass. It's a three day event, and I was looking around and I was noticing, everybody's hair, and everybody had this really nice long hair. There were a few ladies like myself, who were rocking pixie. But for the most part, people had pretty nice long hair, and in general, I notice most of the female entrepreneurs that I follow had this really long luxuriant hair, like Marie folios hair. I just the whole time. I'm watching TV. I'm just looking at her hair. It's so luxuriance and like Gabby Bernstein, long blond hair Danielle LaPorte woman's got here for days. So I was sitting there and I was thinking to myself, and I think this was kind of like on Saturday morning, I was thinking to myself. I'm not spiritual enough and nobody's going to take me seriously as a spiritual entrepreneur, because I don't have long luxury, his hair, and maybe I should think about growing out my hair. Let's stop for a minute. And think about how ridiculous it like when I say it, it sounds so ridiculous. And so I turned to my friend Jennifer who met at the spirit junkie masterclass, and we room together, shat out, girl. And I told her, and I told the other ladies around us what I was thinking, and we'll had a good laugh about my lack of spiritual hair. And so the joke for the rest of the weekend was Melissa. Your hair isn't spiritual enough. You can't be spiritual. You don't have spiritual hair. So guys, I don't have spiritual hair. So it sounds ridiculous. Right. But here's the deal. That's a stupid story or what other people would call a limiting belief. I'm I'm more real. I call them stupid stories that we tell ourselves can we tell ourselves a lot of stupid stories in life. And that's one of my stupid stories was that nobody's gonna take me seriously as a spiritual entrepreneur, because I have a pixie cut because I've short hair because I don't have long luxurious speech. Ritual hair. There's all kinds of stupid stories you might be telling yourself stupid stories like I can't start my business because I don't have enough money yet or can't start podcast because I don't have a good name for it. Are stupid stories are things that actually keep us from achieving peace in prosperity, and they're just our egos way of holding us back. And they're also based on our fears, the real thing behind my stupid story is that it was yet another way to keep me from trying to live my dream because I'm afraid that if I try if I just go for it, I'm gonna fail. You might be tying yourself things like, oh, I can't, I can't start this business. I don't know enough yet. I'm not connected with the right people. I don't know the right people yet our need to lose the weight. I before I do whatever it is. I. I need my energy, get some investors. I need more money. I can't just I don't have enough money to start this business. I just I don't I need to wait. There's too much competition. It's too late. I'm too old. I'm too young have kids, I'm too busy. I don't have a good enough idea. You can tell yourself stupid stories for ever about why you can't do whatever it is that you really want to do. But you're telling yourself these stupid stories because you're afraid to fail. I'm telling myself stupid stories about why I can't start a podcast because I'm afraid to fail. I bought like a fancy podcast do Hickey. And, and I haven't set it up yet. So I can't record my podcast. Of course. I could just set up this microphone thing that I haven't put a pillow behind achieve the same result. Right. But no, that's not professional enough. Guess what? I need to embrace the hashtag, so profession it got me through mommy, greasy show on YouTube, everybody. Loved. Us because we were not professional enough. Well, we were not as professional as other people on YouTube, they embraced our imperfection. They loved our imperfection because it was relatable. Guess what your imperfections are relatable? My lack of spiritual hair is relatable. I told myself stories stupid stories about why I cannot be motivational speaker and a life coach for twenty five years. I'm not gonna go into all of the stupid stories trust me. They were more stupid than I don't have spiritual enough hair. But I'm not doing it anymore. I'm here I'm here with a pillow a kiss mouse pad underneath a microphone, some notebook, paper, scribbled bunch of stuff on it. Can't read, and I'm recording podcast. That's right. I haven't been starting this podcast. I have a lot of ideas for the. Podcast. I have a whole trello board full of podcast ideas and notes. And I've had this board going for months. I've learned everything there is to know about podcasting. I listened to podcast why haven't I started a podcast because I can't think of a cool name for my podcast. I mean, Jenner cookers got gold, diggers and referrals, got Marie TV, and I can't think of anything, and all the good names are taken, and there's nothing that goes with my name, my name doesn't rhyme with anything. So I'm lying there after doing some yoga this morning. And I'm lying Shiva's where I'm supposed to be quiet mine, quiet body. But of course, my head is spinning about need to come up with a name for my podcast. And while I'm lying there. God, said, well, okay, God's voice sounds suspiciously. Like my voice in my own head, by the way. But God said just go for it, and then I thought that's the name of my podcast. Yes. It's a stupid name, but you know what? I'm just going to go for it. Because if I we until I come up with the perfect name, I'm gonna be ninety nine years old, and starting a podcast, so here I am just going for it. And here you are listening to me soc-, it worked whatever stupid stories you're telling yourself about why you can't do whatever it is that you want to do just know that they're just stupid stories and their stories. You're telling yourself, it's not anything that anybody else's really thinking or believing. It's all in your head. It's all you, creating your own blocks. Your own speed bumps and detours to keep you from finding peace and prosperity. Because you're afraid you're afraid that if you put yourself out there gin you'll fail. Guess what you might fail. I have failed so many times, I have failed. Spectacularly in fifty years of life. Trust me, I have failed. I have gone down in a flaming blaze of glory. But I have also succeeded massively I have a chief things I never would have dreamed of and every time that I did that every time that I exceeded my expectations succeeded on a massive scale blew my own mind. It was because I just went for it. And I just I swear to God, I got offered a promotion they were like we want you to go and take over Manhattan operations in fix Manhattan Manhattan's in trouble, Melissa near the person to fix it. And I said, I'm going for it. I'm gonna get on a train yet, I'm gonna go to Manhattan every day. Guess what didn't even know what trained to get on had no idea how to use? The subway wasn't even exactly sure how to a cab didn't know where the. Treats were, but I figured it's a grid. How hard could it be cannot tell you how many times I went to the wrong location? But I never lit onto the people who work for me that I didn't know, everything there was to know about Manhattan, and I learned learned as I went along. And you know what I succeeded massively massively I took Manhattan which was a region. That was in the red. That was hemorrhaging money. And in twelve months, I turned that puppy around into a hugely profitable region because I just went for it, whatever you're stupid stories are that you're telling yourself, just know that they're stupid stories you may not be able to stop them. Trust me. I still think about the spiritual hair, but now I laugh now I laugh, when I look at Marie folio, and I'm like, gosh. She's got such beautiful hair, I think to myself, and I've got hair. It doesn't matter that my hair isn't long and luxurious, nobody's going to care because it's what's inside me that matters. I could be bald, bald in spiritual vote is monks are even the Buddhist nuns are bald, right. Who would tell you that a Buddhist nun is not spiritual enough? Right. Whatever your stupid story is that you're telling yourself or stupid stories that you're telling yourself, just kind of let them float on by, but don't listen to them, and don't let them hold you back from doing. You just gotta do it. Just go for it, whatever it is decide right now. Right. This minute. That if this crazy woman sitting with a pillow behind a microphone with her unspiritual pixie cut can put herself out there with a podcast with a stupid name. I can do whatever it is..