20 Episode results for "killick"

20 Revealing Questions For Couples - Loving Each Other & Commitment

The Finding My Psych Podcast

1:16:28 hr | 11 months ago

20 Revealing Questions For Couples - Loving Each Other & Commitment

"Hello and welcome to the funding mike. Podcast this is your host. Jared killick today. We have a very unique show. Because i have my husband. Johnny killick alerts me. It's you so we decided we would bring you on so that we could do something fun But we'll disclose that in just a little bit a for all of you who are new to the funding. My psych podcast. I'm just know we are all things behavioral medicine and health psychology and so today the focus really is about relationships and of course that relates to health and psychology. And today's show is really. I'm thinking has i'm trying to create a theme here joining. I'm thinking something. Like i don't want it to be too corny but like love leads the way that seems very corny Something like maybe loving each other and commitment I don't really know so that this for all of you who are just stepping into the show. This is truly what you're getting yourself into because we are both going to answer Twenty questions and that's really designed to. I don't know beat phil like we know each other a little better and keep in mind. I don't know what the questions are does. And i don't so it's a super surprise super surprise there it'd be very Challenging even risque questions. I'm sure that will make you want to end the show. But anyway for those of you who want to say participate in the show in the next episode if you actually called between now and then and left left us a voicemail or sent us taxed. We will feature that on the next upcoming episode. The two numbers that you could call us. If you're in canada at seven seven eight seven six six four five seven four or in the united states. It's two six seven three one zero two. And so we do get the occasional voicemails usually Something i wouldn't want to feature on the show. Sometimes it's these robo calls that are coming from china which are always really horrible to listen to have. You had any like hate messages. No not yet. Hagia podcast no not yet and maybe more today since we're gaining up a bit. I don't know it's weird because you're so famous. Unlike your podcast okay. Well that's right. Yeah just up. yeah. I'm not mean but people do then tax and you do the tax really nice you know yeah heard your show sounds great. Thanks so much and we really do appreciate that We get more listened in to the more you lessons in other words if you listened to the show or especially if you leave a rating in i tunes or in stitcher or an amazon music or spotify wherever we're at that actually encourages that algorithm to put it in front of more people so anything that you all can do for us because we don't get paid doing this. This actually cost us. Money is yeah. Go on like comment. Say where amazing or money. You know what whatever you can do. We can maybe leave the address to be able to send us money. Maybe on the voice mail of the phone anyway okay. So most of the time. Far more structured the nest and those of you that listen to show that but it is with jani. And we're both just very comfortable with each other and i'm just treating this as if it's just you and talking and listening so i do think that's the way to No doubt no doubt but so again why. Twenty questions to help us learn more about each other. Even though we've been married for ten years going on more y all of it. I guess is first of all. It's just fun and we have been watching. of course. we're big fans of the wheezy. Waiter in him and his wife i think her name's china china They did something similar. And i think they did it. A couple of different ways. So i just kind of did arbiter of it and it was just so sweet to watch them there. We have similarities between us and their relationship. Yeah yeah so there soon. It's inspiring watching them. You know. drake super cool people. Yeah very cool and that. Yeah like i said. They're a lot like us in many ways. Maybe we could be their friends if they ever stumble upon this. Yeah but don't they live forever away. It's all done on zoom these days so yeah okay you will hear the periodic meow of a cat. Or that's that's bob. And bob might decide to jump up on the table and you'll hear me freak out so just know that that's bob. I think he's wondering what's going on in. Bob has a jealousy between you and me right. Bob will like if when. I'm working from home just before you come in and when you come in bumblebee demanding attention for me. And i think that's because like he wants to keep it that way he doesn't want me to show attention derived. no yeah. there's a bit of jealousy. But yeah that's that happens. That's a cat for you. That's bob the cat whose brain scrambled as hell. so anyway. We digress. But yeah i think the point is that this is fun. Wheezy waiter in china you know they they are doing it. That which is so cool and i would say it's also just about. I don't know again. We've been married for ten years and i just have a sense of it. Takes a while to get to this place. I think where you just feel like totally in rhythm with the other person. It doesn't happen overnight. It just you know it just eventually you end up in a really good space. There's mutual respect and patience and understanding and communication takes a while to get there. Sometimes you know yeah. Yeah yeah. I think the first couple of years is probably the hardest for any new marriage especially since you know. We didn't really know each other. That and we got married really quickly and it was very together. We got married before we ever lived together. Vary arranged marriage. Luckily it just worked out better and better. Yeah that is our story though. Maybe before we jump into the twenty questions. We should share some version of that. I'm maybe a little nervous. If we can leave bob down. That would be great. But we i was up in. Alaska had just returned from living in idaho for many years. I'm originally from there. I realized very quickly what a mistake that was and so i got online and started checking out various dating sites and found you on on. What was it. Cupido cupid Which is a canadian dating app. I don't think so i like. I was using the website because it was like two thousand ten right. Yeah there was no doubt. Yeah exactly yeah and long story short. We met a couple of times man. We got married. That was it and so then it was just going through the immigration process. And so i don't know it seems. I mean when you speak about it and you hear kind of the data. It seems very risky. But when you when i dunno just worked i don't remember ever been worried no Yet at worked. I mean you were very organized and in no that's just your personality and you have everything you're like ten steps ahead of everything so i really wasn't that worried. I knew that it was going to happen. Because you know it. Yeah it was just meant to be. Yeah i think we knew that and then it all just has worked out ten years later here. We are was blink. I feel like it was a blink. So okay let's go ahead and just roll into the twenty questions and again everybody. I so apologize for this cat baby. Yeah but that's okay. They must love him. I demanded you demand that the audience loves. Yeah they if they ever met him they would love him. I think that's questionable. But we can. Let's okay let's move into the twenty questions. Are you ready for this. Because you don't know the twenty question. I am go okay renita to go here and so it's kind of like you'll answer. I'll answer it. I can go out here. Goes yeah okay. What age would you like to live to in. Why i'd say eighty eighty yeah. We talked about this the other day. I said eighty two somewhere around there. Eighty eighty two. I think that would be a long life. i've heard that being old can suck you know has of like paying unlike bodily fails but you know. I think i'll be okay. You know like you. And i were both pretty healthy so i think we're gonna make it to around there. Yeah i'll go with that. I think eighties is good I've for whatever reason. I've always thought said it would be my maximum but it changes so quickly liked these days though like life expectancy is ninety like eighty to ninety. And i'm sure of it. You know providing your your living. Okay and you're not making bad choices. That's the key. That's the key okay. Good answer so we're both gonna make it to our eighty s and things so who should let me. Just add to this question who should go first. I don't answer that okay. Yeah that's a question. I kinda hope you do. Because i would feel really melissa. The rationale the rationale is that. I would feel really horrible knowing that you were alone. Yeah and but i feel the same way But you know. I think ideally will public go at the same time. Yeah and You know like with kool aid or something. Yeah or you know Well there's compassionate euthanasia and all that which is allowed here which is great So you can choose to go with your significant other if that be the case you know. If that's how you really feel are there any documented cases of couples doing that tonight. I don't know i don't know I think that is. It should be a thing if it isn't and you know because you're in control of your life and you should be able to say choose when it should end. Yeah okay good. Good kind of a heavy first question. What about yourself. Are you most proud of you really. Yeah no yeah because You're like the best thing that has ever come my way. So yeah okay thank you. It's like the one thing we're having fucked up my life you know like it's like the one constantly thing that yeah so yeah i would have to say that okay. Well i mean. I definitely say the same thing i've been in other long term relationships and i'm very proud of maybe just to expand on. I'm proud of what we have like. It's we both got really amazing jobs. We live in amazing city. Yeah that's that's kind of what i meant as you'd like everything everything we out and yeah yeah. Yeah okay very good. What is your favorite memory of someone who isn't in your life anymore. Oh well it would have to be andrea k. Tell us about andrea. Oh my friend Since i was eighteen. And i started going out to clubs and I met her and her circle of friends and Yes she passed away november twenty seventeen of overdose and it's been very tough dealing with her because she was like my best friend it was kind of on and off like we would drift apart but we would always get back together and hang out. She was someone that i could really just be myself completely around and her to and and I really admired how she was. She just didn't didn't give a shit what anyone thought like. She just was doing it her way and she had a big heart but you know she she did make some bad decisions which She kind of lived on the edge. Yeah and again. I think that's why her and i got along is because i wasn't the greatest at making good decisions either so i think we were both kind of flawed and hanging out and making it acceptable to to be flawed and she was kind of got pulled into the overdose crisis action. She died of opiate overdose. Yeah she had a series of unfortunate events in her life. And i guess it lead to that path of our friendship. We weren't actually that close because you know. Yeah i guess whatever was going on with her and and Marriage to right like when you get married things kind of change you know again like i said with our relationship it would drift closer and and further apart and it would just go back and forth and unfortunately this time it was too late. Yeah and You know. I heard about it a couple of months after from a mutual friend that long i didn't know that. Yeah and they were just you know and yeah i was just devastated but anyways To go back to the question. What like a great memory from that Would be is there. Was this one time we were at the beach. And i think there are photos of this And it was like the windiest day ever and we had our umbrellas and they were destroyed by the wind and we were just soaking wet and we were just laughing and not giving a crap and yes. That's that's a good memory but that that was from like two thousand six okay done like second beach or were you guys. Do you remember. It was english bay whose english. I don't think we wonder too far from the city. Yeah because it was crazy and we were probably at the comex. Play okay because we would always do that. Yeah yeah yeah. That scene definitely is how. I think of you or two two of your guys relationship. Yeah crazy crazy fund. We would just have crazy fun together. We go out a lot to bars dance. We'll go to numbers and the gay bar and just down to like cheesy music and probably got a bit too drunk. yeah Yeah but i guess some people mature and grow up. And i think she didn't really grow out of that hole having fun partying. No no no some people. Hang onto that. I guess but she was an extremely cool person. You and that's what i miss. Is the genuine person. She was in very much accepted. You and it was just a very good soul. Yeah yeah so for me to answer that question. I would guess yeah i mean i'll try to keep it fairly short but person in my life probably who isn't around anymore. I have really good memories up would be back in norway in to migrate onto your trud. I used to visit her. When i would go to Own dolls nessin visit family. She lives in does not no she in place north of that are in place called viva long that doesn s. It's long out to drive. You know you'd have to take a train for few hours. And then a crazy. Snowy bus ride south youthful. I'm wintertime. it's dark so you don't see much just hanging onto the seat in front of you on a bus going. Hope i don't die. I think i would want to go in summer. No then it is beautiful. it's expensive y- what else but money. but no. i used to visit her every time i would go and Yeah i always had really good memories. And maybe my regret is that there was The last year She she was alive. I was in office for christmas visiting my family and So i usually go right after christmas on the twenty six pop up and this time i wasn't feeling good and i decided not to go and it was that your that. She passed away. So i didn't get to see her that year so i felt quite. I've always felt quite bad about that. Because i think i could have gone. I was just feeling sick physically sick. But not so much that i couldn't go. Yeah so difficult looking in hindsight. Yeah saying. I wish you could change that but yeah next question. I'm an easy one but it follows this one. We just answered is what do you think happens death. oh well there's a couple things. I kind of liked to think At the very least i think you go into a dream like a permanent dream. That is you know. Just exciting and adventurous I would hope. I would hope that you wouldn't go into a nightmare suck Forever eternity. yeah. But i just think you know maybe the brain just thinks it gets tricked in some way into like a dream and i hope that it's a good one and so there's that point and then i also think perhaps If your if you hadn't done what you are intended to do in this life. I think you might come back in some form of or another To complete something that you're meant to until you go into a degree. Yeah i i just believe that. It's not it when you die. I think there has to be something else. You're not particularly religious. I'm not but i'm very spiritual yeah and You know. I love like the idea. But as i don't really know too much about it. But i know the the basic just and that would closely resemble sort of what i yeah sort of like believe in practice off on a day to day compassionate empathy. Yeah ok okay for myself. I mean this is a tricky one because i'm catholic but i also struggle with the kind of the kind of polarized heaven hell dichotomy. That's talked about all the time. I i also scientist right and so i struggle with how maybe when we die. That's it. i think. I have two parts of me rights. I have the spiritual part of me slash religious of me. That's knows as way more to this and if there isn't then what the fuck is the point and then yeah there's the other part. Yeah but what what does like if there's nothing what would that feel like nothing yet. But what would the transition feel like. Oh well hopefully not painful Hopefully it's like going into a dream. We all do. They say they say it's like the you see like a white tunnel and you go through it. You know i I don't know if you've experienced death in your any of your dreams. Billing i have. I've been attacked with knives. What yeah okay this. I never told me that. Yeah every now. And then i'll have dreams where like something attacks me and i'm like oh like i'm bleeding. And then all of a sudden it's like it just fades to black. You know like like when you're fainting like an like in real life if you fainter you feel dizzy and then you faint. Everything kinda goes black. Like lose your vision you know. Yeah that so. That's happened to me and your dreams and i'm scared that that's kind of how it's going to be but when that happens i always wake up see so so then i i'm like instantly like oh maybe you've never mind your dining in your sleep each time and you're waking up into a new reality. I mean who knows. Stranger things have happened stranger. Things have happened. Okay wow so that. That's a deep question. That seems very straightforward. But it's absolutely not next one. What is something you wish you could say to people but can't and keep it general maybe not pick a person what something you just want to say to people. But can't i don't care how great yeah you. i don't know when we have conversations like this. I'm always pretty blown away about how insightful you are and how. We don't spend a lot of time in this space. Yeah so. I'm blown away by that. That's just amazing. okay. I just love it. It's because it's hard for me to have boundaries. Yes certain things. Like i feel compelled to take an interest because the other party is irving. Yeah yeah yeah so. I'm going to answer my maybe a little different than you. Which is that. I think what. I catch myself doing especially in high conflict situations at work as i always feel like. I have to give a reason for my answer so for me. It's not what i wish. I could say what i wish. I wouldn't say make decision. And i always feel like i've got to say exactly the right thing and why Right i don't actually have to. I guess on the opposite. I say the first thing that comes into mind and it's usually the wrong thing and it takes me a while to actually explain that i mean i just wanna say well. The answer is no. Yeah but the answer is no and because our fiscal situation lovable. I always go into this thing. Which people don't really care about. You like to me for that right. Yeah that'd be nice okay. let me take care. these are. There's a lot of questions all blending. What is the or you're gonna pour some more wine yes. We are drinking wine out of our double magnum. I think is just magnum pitches. The biggest glasses i think. They're the double magnum. They're really toll when the right dell. Yeah and we're drinking. What what are we drinking. This is a cabraha mullebeck. Kerr i think it's pronounced less sick unless this week. It's elliot's law second word as c. e. q. u. a. s. and sepia lacaille mullebeck oak. Twenty fifteen okay. Thank you mullebeck okay. Here's the next one johnny. What is the most significant change. You would like to make in your life Probably sobriety for me. Oh what do you mean. We're drinking wine. Yeah or no. I guess just like maybe cutting back not sobriety. Because i i think you know why deny yourself drink here and there but probably just cutting back on the pleasures. Yeah yes so okay. Yeah for me. Biggest change making my life a. I'm finding it hard to enter this. Because i just feel like right now. I'm just surviving with all the covid stuff. I'm not really looking at check. You know okay. Here's what pops in my mind is. I feel like there's this artistic part of me that's always there and every so many months and sometimes it's tucked away for a couple of years at peaks. Its head out. I can relate. Yeah yeah we'd like music for me and for like photography and staffer you. Yeah and then. I had these bursts of doing it. And then i don't keep doing it. I love it. And i've got lots of great equipment and i think i wish that i would just be able to not packed away implement. Yeah i think. I want to just let it be open and do more of it. I think i let the rush of life and my crazy job and everything. Keep me always on on on guard and ready to go in and you get into artistic space. You're not doing that. You have to kind of flow and experience kind of sort of lead with emotion creative process. Isn't it yeah you just kind of let your heart and and yeah. Okay so yeah. Let's see here if you had one day left to live. What would you do get hurt. Party your ass. I got well. Yes all the pleasures. I would get so high and get probably very drunk and just be around the people that i love the most so friends and family. So you wouldn't want to get so high and drunk that you couldn't everyone would be getting high address an abbreviated and insist on. Let's british and so that's the first thing people go to. Yeah i mean obviously you. The first thing is to be it with friends and family so that you can be together. Yeah when the apocalypse happens. Is that what happens and gas and it was funny because i was gonna say you. Don't wanna get too high end drunk because you wanna remember it. But you're not gonna remember it because we're going to be obliterated. Yeah i think. I think the general consensus would be is that people would immediately flood the liquor stores. Oh you wouldn't in know that you'd be looting from the liquor stores people would be like this is it. I'm not going to be sober for this. Yeah you know if if the world is gonna end it's going to be very traumatic. What can we do to lessen the pain. Yeah i guess we'd better stock up and leave it in the basement somewhere. How everyone has their apocalypse stash in their house. Be potato vodka or something. I don't know some have earthquake. Kids and others have their apocalypse stash. Pilots moon site shine stash that the last words the apocalypse dash. I somebody new. Yeah we start thinking that it's hilarious. Okay oh i like this one. What do you like best about me. That's a tough one so many things. Oh no don't say that If i could. If i'd had to choose one thing it would be Your patients really. Yeah can can you give me an example. The fact that you're still here that's funny. Yeah as long as they can be terribly difficult at times. And as i yeah of a moody bitch you know Obviously and so. I think patients but i also admit that i have a lotta patience with do actually yeah But i don't see that's a tough one for me too. Yeah maybe i have to think on that one a bit more. Yeah because but right. The first thing that comes to mind is patients. But maybe that's because maybe what you have with me. I don't know what the way i would answer at his What i have always loved about you. And maybe i hadn't really thought about the language until five years or so after we were married. But i've always considered you to be very much of a spirit and attorney garin who i just love and worship right Photographer tyranny gear off the movie about her mother. Yeah we've actually personal contact with writing super incredible but youtube. Rss like a lot of like. I think yeah. I think i would just always appreciated that. Because i'm not a free spirit. I've always wanted to be a free spirit. It's almost like. I'm not a night owl. And i always wanted to be. I've tried and it doesn't work. You know you're you're very guarded reserved and Yeah i just think lookout kind of because like you've always been that way. Yeah but i think everyone at one point in their life learns to let go and let loose a little But i i think you do have in little spurts. And i think that in you. Yeah but i think it's probably going to happen when you retire. Maybe when i have visions of us like of you like partying on the golf course. Oh gosh when we retire. You know like i'll be driving the golf cart serving the drinks. Yeah you'll be playing golf now. Be like dj from the car with your little iphone up. I don't know. I don't know why that seventy that sounds massively appealing to me. Honestly it really really does know maybe someone here is going to think while but actually that sounds really pleasant because my husband is just exploding. All the time with thoughts because my job and so. I'm being generous with that idea. Because i hate golf. I know you do yeah. Getting new plate would never really happen. But if there's drinks and a golf cart involved i'm there. Yeah i will provide both the next one goes with that is what would you change about me. Am i probably would try I would say that You know i would ask for you to be more. Chill a bit at times Because you can get very work top and anxious and Sometimes i feel that you assume i'm in a bad mood when you're not when i'm not. Yeah and then it has the opposite effect of where your anxiety rubs off on me and it puts me in evadne. Were both like exercise. But that's just being that's marriage right. That happens right. But i can anticipate that happening. And then i can buy just reassuring you eldest good with good. Yeah but you know like you. Are you have chilled a lot. But you know. I'd say you've got a ways to go but that just happens because i think other ways to go you know like like i said you're always on guard always reserved. You're very careful and cautious. Which is good. That keeps you safe that that is your happy place but it also drives you crazy. That's right okay. I'm gonna say what. I would say what i would change about you. Which is i mean. The first answer to that is nothing. I can take it but i would say the one thing i would change about. You is at base. My drinking no. Oh no actually. That's not what i would jump to no not at all. No no drake. You thought i was gonna say that. That's hilarious. yeah no. I'm actually something deeper than that is that you have a pretty steady fear that one day. I just won't be here. And i would say stop that because that's not gonna happen. I think i think underneath. I definitely know that but I i have issues with abandonment and issues with those that are close to me leaving and that stems from way back in my early days being shuffled off to battle abbey. You know whatever i mean was the best for me at the time and i understand that but i'm just over the years I've had trust issues issues of being abandoned but with you. I know that's not the case but you know the old johnny will come back every now and then and be like. Oh my god paranoia. The world's going to end and everyone's gonna leave you. And then i freak out. You know that short-lived who's in the batman movies. That has the face. That's half the joker. Another one oh to face to face when it's all disown like acid and this the dark side and then there's the human sized bat who was in the last batman movie i think. Oh my god wasn't it. Tommy lee jones. Nope oh yeah anyway we will. We will inspire others to let us know what that is in A text message about the show right in writing liz. No let's see here. Oh what a silly habit you have now that you don't tell a lot of people about okay. I guess it's a little. Ocd thing In the shower. I count years. You're scrubbing right. I what i do. Is i clean different areas of my body and each area. I have to do it twice. Go over at twice like do the arm but like okay. So i'll tell you my routine k. so First of all i. I put the soap on my chest. Now rub that in. And then i'll go to the legs then to the unmentionable areas unmentionable yes then to the arms and then And then i'll do that again just to make sure that i've got so paper. Yeah yeah. so that's that's the thing in it's twice have to count it twice. Sometimes if i forget you'll do it again. I will do it again. And i get caught in this vicious cycle. Yeah and also like the ten years we've been married you. I hear the water start. I hear turn off. Oh that's it. Yeah that's what. I forgot dimension and then you turn back on. Yeah i will turn it off. We are because i get my body wet. This is crazy. I get my body and then i turn off the water and then i'd rather up because i used shampoo shampoo as soap y- but it's moisturizing organic super expensive so shampoo. That doesn't really work just by the way. That's what we forgot to pick up a whole foods today. How we bought everything else but Yeah okay so for me. My silly habit is i mean. I don't know there's a lot of silly habits but mine is also very. ocd related. And i both have ocd stuff. There's no doubt an diagnose civil right diamond pills for you are and i'm not where you were. I was yeah. I should be well. I don't know there are pros and cons to being often on. Yeah but the one thing that started a few years ago was elevator. I guess i'm scared to death of the elevator. You had that. I remember when that started happening. And i'm like what the fuck. But i respect it you know stairs are healthier so yeah yeah i mean not like an helps it. That's weird do you hate. Let me ask you. Do you have the same thing. would you have the same thing with flying. Oh that's a good question. Because i think of when i think of elevators i think if enclosed spaces so it's flying ever going to happen anytime soon. No no no. I mean it. It's really about the fear that's triggered. They had to wrap for if i have to get onto an elevator. Because i've gone to meetings like in vancouver where i know. Are you scared of an earthquake or the elevator stopping. What are you scared of being trapped being trapped. That's up so. Yeah before it. If i have to get in want to have to prep for and i close my eyes or i look at my phone and somebody else in there. You probably like no like hand right usually. No you don't want your. I know that you would probably not want to show any fear. No hate showing any no and those that i work with closest to because i work with the same people have for years The i've found a way to make a joke about it. And so now they all know without me having to sit down and go. Oh no really fearful elevators. No joke with with people that you are acquainted with no. It's quite amusing because you were just do or say something really odd and and it's a little cringe like like but i know that to other people. It's probably charming hope. So because was that a little cringe or just like just like put your high louder than like and they're just like oh hi Just call the attention of the entire neighborhood the entire planet. But it's cute too so yeah yeah okay. When did you. I know you wanted to be in a relationship with me like you had a choice. I did i did. I never knew. I mean well. It's hard to say it was really a cumulative thing i mean. We started off with a few short messages on. Okay cupid in then we're talking over facebook messenger and every night every night and then phone calls and it was just weird. It was just like just happened. Just happened that way. I don't think i can't pinpoint yeah any any way anytime. I have an answer to this myself. Actually and it was. When i first came here to visit you know i was at the we were at vr. And when you first walked out. When i walked out well i i will never forget that. Yeah i remember that. I was like yep really yep yeah i guess i'm not sure. Yeah my memory isn't my greatest asset. But but i do for me. I just think it's now and how i feel about it now. What matters right yeah okay. Yeah in which situations do you feel the most secure in our relationship. There's no area our relationship. I don't feel secure. That's good so let me answer that way. Yeah but okay. I guess i'll answer it properly. The most secure feel is with our fidelity. Yeah yeah like commitment. Yeah with faithfulness. Yeah that's what i mean. I'm never worried there know who who the fuck is going to want to fuck. Oh that was trust me honey. I've tried i. No that's hilarious. I don't get any attention. Not that i have any intention of swaying after twenty five in the gay world. It's all over right and then you hit forty something. Oh god it'd be is. We'll tell me. I looked like a fucking slug. Yeah so yeah that's hilarious. Okay for me feel more secure. I don't know. I think i've always had faith that whatever conflict we get into. It's going to work. Yeah yeah no for sure. And which money. Because whenever there's conflict i find that i'm usually the one that's trying to mend things. Yeah even if you're wrong. I'd trade you well. I just think that you're mostly right now. And i usually just i'm thinking rationally and i freak out and then i come to you and apologize about it and then we're good. I'm getting better at saint. Sorry though but i think i do that. You know that you have to worry. I do think there is a trend in that. Though i do think that am i have consciously thought i need to say sorry i instead of holding it. Yeah i i feel like one of the things though. Is that I don't wanna legitimize it or give a reasoning for why i say it a lot but They say the for people that say sorry a lot. Yeah it's from. They've dealt with trauma in their lives. So i think i have. I'm cool whatever. I went through some weird stuff. Yeah you know that doesn't define me now but it also it's good to be aware of like. Oh you don't have to say sorry as much. Yeah and lately. I've been trying to implement that. And where i feel legitimately like i'm bright. I i'm going to go with that and not apologize a lot of the time things will go on too long and the the guilt will just take over and i just apologize anyway just to make peace but for us. I mean going on too long. We've had very few situations. Oh yeah that are more than an hour or two. we've never had. I mean you know rarely super rarely is it something. That's going to bleed into the next day. I think. I think you know these days. I think we know when we're getting a bit serious. We'll just laugh. Yeah we'll just laugh it off like that like i'll say something weird irrational like something really stupid and then i'll just laugh because i'm like really i mean did i go there. No that's hilarious. I think your insecurities become amusing yen as you get older. They don't they don't sort of takeover much you just sort of recognize that they're still there be a real managed to nip it in the bud. Yeah easier as you get older and just laugh it off. You feel more comfortable with the whole idea of observing over time how your insecurities dictate your behavior. And then you're like. I cannot believe i just did that. Does it becomes funny. You don't have to take it so seriously. Yeah yeah okay. All right What is the main thing you think makes a relationship. Last patients yan respect respect so the patients part. We've talked about already to about the respect part. The respect of you know especially like for you. And i we have so many differences like the different things and there. There isn't much ground. I think it's respect for other people's interests and listening when they're trying to explain or about what they love to do. Yeah and not just like tuning out. Yeah which. I have been guilty up in the past. And that's something for you now you do. Yeah yeah so. Yeah my answer to that is just really the same. Mostly what makes it last is just. I don't know not to get too sex. It's going to be thirty two bit float but will you. Will you be able to lower the bits where i'm laughing loud. It absolutely cures for me. So i'm not worried about sorry if you're listening to that and i was laughing really loud. I'm sorry johnny has worked again. Politics is not sorry johnny. His sounded the past that he understands how it works. Yes i have a bit of just from a little bit of hearing damage over the years from like listening to loud music like medals yeah mid and like trebles if they they can get really grading yeah overtime with your ears. You can the way you've experienced when yeah and even then like some really booming bass can can really hurt my ears so you have to listen to lower or yeah I'm not sure where we were at. I think the secure relationship thing. I think it was a wh- what makes a relationship last. I think it's yeah alcohol alcohol. Yeah there's the truth. I think that's the answer. No of course not like sorry. I'm answering for you. Say we're drinking so that's going to keep getting worse glass. Yeah no. I think that it is exactly what you said. And maybe just not being too worried about as conflicts. Come up i. I think you can't get to like absorbed in a conflict. The sue the quicker. You can let it go the better things. You are really good about that whole bedtime. Kiss at night before you know to sleep like that is like your thing. My thing is never go to bed. Angry yeah whatever. Whatever it is that you're angry about or upset with with your partner may commands before bed. Because like i like to sleep and you can't because you're worried and stressed that means some people. Can i guess some people can let it go and just go to sleep. But i have a guilty conscience i really do. And if i say that. If i know that i've messed up or the onus is on me for the issue then i will do what i can to to make amends because it's not worth it worth feeling crappy. Why do that to yourself totally totally. Okay let's see here. What would be ideal romantic. Date for me It would be like a beautiful like a french restaurant and Fancy wine Yeah yeah something really. Nice wine Initially you know. I mean i don't know like even or just like whatever like has like a vegan restaurant would be like meat. I love meat. I think it's a beautiful restaurant. Beautiful food It is a vegan. Restaurant am edt. Yeah and there's two locations is one gas down one on main street and we go to the one in gastown and we love it. I really we're going there tomorrow. Because you're taking out. Yes we were going to actually go to this. Other vegan place called buddha full and there's two locations in north van. We were going to go to the one in north view. But the bridge was chockablock. Yeah so we. We saw the the merging lane on the casio. Connector can get crazy. Yeah and i know that with the second narrows. There is a lot of accidents so there must have been one so we veered off. Got lucky. Yeah we managed to go under the tunnel under mcgill. Go back up through the other tunnel in burnaby heights. Yeah in our in our area. Yeah okay next question. We're doing really good. Actually i'm let's enter this question together. I think it's a mutual question. Name three things you and i appear to have in common. I would say photography we have. I think we have an eye for beautiful things and certain things visuals certain colors and contrast and nature and so i think i think that what what is your first thing. I don't know i i love. We both have this ability. We we love to relax with like good tv and horror movies I think that's like part of the best parts of the week like we do activities and we do things but there's that time to kind of settle in. Yeah got it said. We have that in common But photography yet as well we. I think okay for me as We both like Yummy food oh. Yeah so Even though you know you're vegan. And i'm not when i am at home. I am eating mostly vegan delicious. Can we give a shout out to be on meat sausages. 'cause you do them so well i do them do them in the oven. Yup put a little bit of spray oil or a little bit of oil on the bottom of a pyrex dish or whatever i've even cooked them on some parchment paper yup and they're fine yeah Roast them in the oven. You cannot tell the difference between a regular sausage no and this sounds even have a skin. They have a skin. It's totally which is exactly the same beyond me call us. We'd love to be sponsored. I will put your advertisements on our webpage. Yeah we have six hours okay. Just do it just doing. We're we're it's always the question when they do reach out like you know. What is your volume of visitors to your website and google analytics. You don't wanna. Yeah so let's see here. I'm just looking down the list because we are doing really good. Have we done almost Three fourths So we to the three things on sharing alternate sharing. We only shared one of three things note. We did so. You're you're talking about two or three things never mind. Let's just move on. Now go back. We did all three. Okay yeah cooking. We did photography and we did. Chill time okay. So we had to mutually agree on each. Yeah i thought we're going with six different ones. No okay into far ahead. You think way too hard. Yeah so alternate sharing something. You consider a positive characteristic of your partner share a total of say three items each. Yeah i'm going to say a positive characteristic. I think you're really good-looking. Thank you come back. But i'm going to have to say. Oh so this'll be easy. Okay I do appreciate that your patient with me even though i'm super anxious you're very patient person. Yes yes okay. So just something. Because it's hard. These questions are hard for me. I don't know why the for me to I would say the first thing that comes to mind as your generosity. Oh definitely i mean. I can't believe. I actually had to took a while for me to think that. But you're very generous and I know that sometimes maybe feel like. I'm not grateful for certain things but i think you know that i am and i try. I guess what i do. Is i try to show more show that i'm grateful more Because sometimes i can i. Maybe i just feel grateful. But i'm not showing it enough on the outside so i think it's important for you to feel that and i respect that because you are and you deserve it on a c. That's a nice compliment. I don't feel that i'm generous. Honestly i just think well your generous but you don't take bullshit. I mean you know like like. I know that. Sometimes i can be a little presumptuous. About what you're gonna get or you know what's fair i think. Sometimes i'm i'm a little confused about what is fair. Fairness is your. Yeah i think you now. So i know and we've had some arguments about that and financial stuff even when you pour wine glossy make sure they're both level. You know what i think. I think it's because i think that's something from that's something she does as a parent. Yeah it's just like it has to be it's gotta be equal and it's just i don't know what it is it's like for me. It's amusing and endearing. But i know that for you. It's kind of annoying. I don. I come because i'm like i'm not measuring always give you more than i get always and just gonna move farther weeks. I feel like i'm yelling. You're doing very good. Actually the it's the way you're handling that that is great the microphone. I'm so we have each one more. So i would say really appreciate about. You is your of your close relationship with your mother. I think that has been quite inspiring. I think that i'll just leave it. There yeah yeah. I mean you should. I don't have to come up but you can tell me something. You preach about me. And then we'll move. Oh come into about what you your your selection. I mean obviously Okay we're going to appreciate it so Apart from your generosity i would say just like your. that's hard. there's lots one could say. But you're trying to make it very meaningful. I think i think apart from your generosity as just the As just your your love and your care for me. Like unconditional you know what i mean like that is You know especially with from someone that has a lot of insecurities and issues like knowing that that person is there no matter what like that is everything you know what i mean like. That is important to someone like me. You know who has a few issues that they're working through So yeah i would say you're just like yeah just like the never ending love that you have you know. And that's true. Yeah okay excellent. So your house containing everything you own catches on fire after saving your loved ones and pets. That must be noted. You have time to safely. Make a final dash to save any one item. What would that be. And why my computer. Because their computer dollars yes it was yeah and Basically bankrupted me at the time. Yes yeah okay okay. I remember that and so me. That is tough to i. Maybe because computer stuff. There's a lot of it if you had time to do it. All it all up. I do the same thing. But i would say that it would be the hard drives because i have all external hard drives with photography and like audio like this drives to serve. You can employ included with the computer. What's in the computer but on my set up back there. I have external hard drives. I'm sure that zuma's grab and run. Just grab your hard drives you. I mean but the question was what one thing thing you would be the computer your computer you spent about the same way more. Yeah so all the stuff that's hard drive like what two hundred bucks. No but the drives have the important stuff on it. O c i have mine is a backup years. All internal minds all external. Oh but you know what the old all those injuries new all those pictures all the camera. Okay okay. I i feel like the past is like boring. I feel that way a lot. I i feel like tomorrow. Okay or what about today. What about today. You know okay. So the next question. Fettes if you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability what would it be beside. The drinking not feeling hung over. I'm not going to say. I'm not going to say no the future because that would just your mind would explode. I think that I would probably say I would say to fly. Because i love it sometimes when i have flying dreams and i do have them and and i know that some of my dreams i can fly and it's really weird you know when you're like sculling in the water rights and like you know like when you're on your back and your hands or just out helping you know you're moving backwards. I can i can in my dreams. I fly like that. So i'm on my back and got my hands and i like fly. Four it's close to the ground. And i and my dreams people like see me and be like he can fly. He's amazing yeah. Yeah so i would like to fly. But i would probably get shot down so that be scary as well by being people. How about you. What quality or ability. Okay whoa right off the bat. I think it would be ability to eat. Whatever i want and be as thin as evil. That would be amazing. That's exactly what i would ask for just like a metabolism. That's that works. Yeah like i get in fifteen thousand steps a day on and like you eat like vegetables. That's pretty gain weight. Yeah i don't understand a leader. It's a frustrating. Yeah but like. I say you're not you're not big. You're just like big boned. that's a compliment but not lie. No serious your life. You're like peggy big the cat we have a male cat named peggy. That's a whole other episode. Yeah yeah okay so only two more questions and johnny. This is really good. I am really enjoying this. And i can't believe came through twenty questions. I didn't think we could here. We go for what in your life. Do you feel most grateful in your life. Saline about of our marriage. My mom your mum I can totally see that. Yeah absolutely you know. She's always been there for me. I mean there was a time you know when when you know when i went away to private school. That was tough. yeah but Before that and after that period she was always there for me and he's always been there for me every time i would move downtown And you know had a job you know party too much less. The job had to move back home. She always had me home. Yeah and she you know she was just always there for me. You know when you know When i broke up with my ex it was really hard and she managed to change my mindset and like ten minutes yeah by rationalizing with me and you know i was able to move forward and that i'm really thankful for and i've done the same for her when she's been some tough times. Yeah we've just have each other's back and we yes. Yeah okay. i don't know. I could go on forever. Yeah no i. i think that's exactly. I would have predicted that. That's exactly what you would say. That relationship is is quite wish. I just wish that you would have the same growing up. But that's okay. Because then i can appreciate what you have and your mom's always trying to incorporate me into it. Yeah i noticed how you still like to keep a distance. Yeah no you embrace it. You know what i mean like. I know you love mom. But i know that you be a bit protective. Yeah yeah yeah think so yeah interesting. Yeah good stuff. Good stuff. I don't wanna say anything incriminating we. We all kinds of things families. The only people is going to be listening to this pretty much pretty much so we do get quite a lot of downloads. So yeah we let a lot. Yeah so now. You're cable down. We're actually quite lucky. We get a lot of downloads. Get so many web page visits because people don't really care about web pages anymore. Everything's done on social media but we get a lot of podcast downloads. I do have to say. I really enjoy it. I know that the last time. I was feeling a bit anxious and then It was a breeze. Unlike this time. I think i was feeling a little anxious about too. But it's just easy and it's kind of weird weird hearing yourself on the headphones. Yeah it's like it almost makes you like it puts you in another another. Space with these microphones. You can get really close. It's like i feel like i'm being myself but like elevators. Because i can hear myself that you are but you are very special varies. So what am i most grateful for. I would say my answer to. That is what. I've really besides are amazing marriage. Besides your family all of that. Lucky to live here. I think what. I'm really grateful for right now is that i was able to come to canada in my career has just exploded. Yes i had to go back to frontline work after working leadership up in alaska and i wasn't sure i wanted to go back until leadership but just the opportunities have exploded for me and yeah you're a natural leader and i'm not surprised you you you are. You know working your way up the ranks. And i'm yeah. I'm not surprised because you are a control freak. The truth comes out. Yeah you you like to be in control and you just a very effective at delegating. And yes i'm not surprised i It's hard though because it's leadership is less about. You know the end product of whatever you're doing you're working on but it's more about personal growth and i and i just find that it's just really hard work and it's really gears days where i see you come home and this is their stress and anxiety. Yeah yeah but at the same time like yesterday. I know there's so much going on because covert and all this stuff and and just i remember being in the midst of just complete chaos but having some sense in the center of film like i'm so at home with us it feels so good to me but then there's always the can't sleep on a friday night because my obsessive mine spending so anyway. I'm grateful that i had this opportunity. And you know what americans tend to think about. Canada is completely wrong around our socialist system. And all you come here your career will take off. If you're a hardworking person and people are just so excited that you're excited to do what you do. And i feel like in the states. All i did was struggle. Even just being noticed here. It's just the opposite so okay This is the last question. Wow so given the choice of anyone in the world whom you would want to have as a dinner guest dead or alive. Who would it be a pick dinner guest as a dinner guest which we would make an amazing dinner have amazing wine like it would be. It would just be amazing. Tricia paid us now. Yes please tell us why. I'm just don't know what it is like. it's like. I have a hate love relationship with her. She's just like crazy like well. She's like i. I feel like she's me when i was like twenty years ago even though she's like me ten years ago because she never grew up but She's just nuts and i guess like you really see who she is because she bears all like on our videos. I've seen a lot of her video. Is it a sympathy guest though. No i just just out of it's just like. I can relate so to be talked to someone that you can relate and talk about experiences and then and then being like oh my god yes you know. I don't know but really though. Would i throw that away on tricia pettus. I'm gonna i'm gonna. I'm going to think about a better orange. Okay thank you texas. I love you wanna get together for dinner. One love it. I love it. I don't know. I honestly have a hard time with this because i don't really care a lot about celebrity. I don't i don't find it attractive. I find that just a lot of marketing and people getting really lucky. And i don't see like the people who had went to have as a guest would be like super smart people that wanna hang out like people or something sorta. Yeah okay. I change my mind. I would choose hitler and then i shoot him then. You should have that strategic during the under the table. I would just shoot him in the stomach but but if he was lightly so would i go back then or would he come to. Today's dead or alive so they come today so if i killed him but he wouldn't stand a chance today. So don't know what i still. I don't know this is digressing to a real. Basically you wouldn't choose anyone versus past right because if you if they were bad and then you killed them because they came to the future. The shit already happened. Okay so you would want to get together with some of the future but the future hasn't happened yet so you don't know who the are think about why the wine is talking and i think i have an appropriate answer. Maybe it's a little bit of a sad one but it's an appropriate answer bianca. Yes yeah that's who. I would want to have dinner. That's still very tough. I yeah for sure. I mean yes. Report a little girl. Yeah but but you're thinking about the impact on the world. I think you your mind. Automatically seems like the who don't want to spend time with the famous. I think your mind goes to who is famous. Yeah you know but the for those that don't know obviously most of you don't Are pug from of sixteen. Years passed away about two weeks ago of Lymphoma so that was very tough so yeah. That was a very difficult. Yeah we great to have her here. I mean we're talking about people that have passed that are close to us. I mean i would probably say my dad as well date just to be like. This is who i am. I'm sorry also. Also i would say like but can we pause there for a second. You never did tell your that you were gay. Now do d. no. I don't know i don't think so. I don't think so. i never talked about. He was after you're here. Yeah and you know. I don't think so. I don't know how he would have reacted. I think it would be cool about it now. Like obviously he'd be he's looking down from heaven and he'd be like oh that's cool. You know he's happy. I'm happy whatever. Yeah but i would just want to. I think i would want to say sorry for treating him so mean. Because i did when i was younger. you know my teenage years and i would go back over I was mean to him. He showed me love through buying me things. And i learned that with him. That's how he showed me. Love was by buying me things. Afraid to connect on a more deeper level and Yeah i would just say is I i would just say. I'm sorry that we weren't closer know and we didn't get time to know each other better. No because you were twenty one. When he passed away i was about twenty twenty one. I remember it was my granddad and then like my dad the year after and it was all in them around the millennium. So yeah so yeah i would probably just but you know. I know that he's up there. And he and i know that he sees me now and he's happy he's cool so it doesn't matter you're you're you're feeling bad for just being fed when you were a kid around him. And the break-up potassium in your mom was probably not easy. And so the other thing is you're also worried what he would have thought if he knew that you were before he died and yeah of course i mean i mean you know I don't think. I don't remember him being saying anything homophobic know-how me but i do. I do remember him saying like oh you know those it would be really offer like opera british guy saying stuff like that you know so so it's it's just awkward and i don't know i mean we didn't really talk about it But it's good debut. Just a very very gentle. He was just you know i mean. He didn't want he would. Just do whatever i and basically i i was in control. I mean if i wanted him to buy me something i would scream and cry until he would buy it and but that was. Your guys is growing up too. Yeah right you didn't want for anything it was. I was a kid. And you didn't know you know i mean i'm talking about twelve thirteen here so i remember yeah. I went to move back there when i was thirteen. Because i'd had enough of rick my stepdad. Which is my two sisters father. Because we wouldn't get along. So i moved back there packed up all my stuff and yeah my dad was drinking. Yeah and he would repeat himself is wasn't the drinking that was bothering me. It was his repeating himself. And i would get mad at him for it. I remember that he'll be out of control. Yeah i'm just like you just said that you know and i remember being frustrated and then this wasn't working and i remember one thing i deeply regret as saying you're a terrible father and i said that to him one night. When when he was drinking he was drinking and news repeating himself. And that's when. I decided to go back home and he just burst into tears. I never seen that and that really got to me. Yeah i think at the time. I was just confused and i just probably went up to bed but now obviously i would have given a giant open like. I'm so sorry you know. He's struggled with alcohol. I mean i was. I had zero empathy a child. That's something that i lacked. And if that's something that i could go back and change i would go. Empathy is. What makes you a good person but is it possible that really what you had was kind of unexpressed anger. You're saying zero empathy because the way you express yourself was anger when he's been anger from being abandoned. Yeah you know. And i say that lightly because i went off to private school i was in boarding school. I was being looked very posh. Exactly nothing about it. I just wanted to be with mum. Mum was very important me and it was hard being and it was hard being told. No you can't come and get you do with your two sisters their tracy's yeah twenty four seven. Sorry tom sorry money that they were teenagers. They were trouble. Mom had to focus on them. You wasn't laid dying to yeah. And she wasn't with my dad anymore so she didn't have dad patrolling the streets foe. I'm sure like he used to. Yep so you know so. And i know i was having trouble in public school in beck's hill and Basically i was just I was i think looking back. I was very bored and where we were in hill with the education and i You know it wasn't. It wasn't as advanced. Like i felt smarter so i knew all the stuff so i was just dreaming in class and then that's and getting bullied obviously data lobby. That was a little bit more intense. I mean that's a super posh boarding school. I i mean i was believed basically i remember it being fine and all my schools. I went to bid bra then. I went to saint. John's primary school and temperature or temperature twelve and then from there. I went to king offer. Yeah primary school in beck's hill. That's where the bullying started and it was because it was a it was a worse area. Then where we were living before tunbridge wells was a very much like a middle upper class neighborhood. Yeah beck's hill was a lower middle class neighborhood. And i'm not saying that was it. I'm just saying that. I was different. I was used to a certain level of education. And i would daydream. And i was just different looking back. I often wonder if i like something like aspirin. Oh jesus christ. Like i was always like ten year. And you're just like maybe you had that. Oh come on like. I just never socially competent. I never was and even this day. I still struggle struggle. Socially like being in front of with people like strangers trying to pathologies it when i would just call it introversion. Yeah i don't know. I'm saying a lot of things. Yeah it's been great. No it's been great over share over over but you know there's that tendency though to turn it into something self-critical and i'm just trying to turn it around and say tell me about it. Yeah life tried to turn it around and say you are a quintessential introvert. You bottom in the bottom line is is. You're allowed to be who you are and not feel judged and not be afraid of. I never knew that right. And it's only recently that i've discovered that it's okay to just do be who you are. Yeah and not try to look or act a certain way for others because those people don't care they don't care they're probably thinking the same thing no matter what like. Why are we all worrying about each other when we shouldn't you know okay. So we've made it through the twenty questions i really do. You have a time. I would say probably an hour and a half god. It's pretty great and you're going to go and visit your mom and dad no. I'm going to play games. I play games. Gasol cobra twenty questions. What was this hour and a half like for you easy. Yeah very much so very natural. Yeah i would say. I'm a little bit tipsy. That's right that's right okay. There it is. Thank you so much for coming in hanging out with me on this show and i do love you so much i love you too and yeah we'll do more. I guess if you guys are interested. Dial our number. What is it had hit. That thumbs up describe joined for to join our community. But this isn't you to never be famous. You know i'm too old. Look old and you have to be young. And i just say like weird shit that might that might fly on youtube quite well actually so again just to remind everybody. If you wanna leave a comment or a question you could on voicemail or some of these same numbers and so for candidate seven seven eight seven six four five seven four if you're in the states and you had in malibu which was number comes from four four two two six seven three one zero two and yeah we just appreciate you all and thank you so much everybody Peace and light chairs by bye.

ten years china Jared killick Johnny killick andrea k golf second beach nessin johnny drake bob jani garin phil one day idaho melissa andrea amazon Alaska
20 Questions For New Year's Eve 2021:  Leaving COVID-19 Behind

The Finding My Psych Podcast

1:01:08 hr | 9 months ago

20 Questions For New Year's Eve 2021: Leaving COVID-19 Behind

"However one thank you so much for joining me today this is your host jared killick and join me again today. Is johnny killick. Hello this is our We've decided that this is our new year's eve episode and so new year's eve two thousand and twenty one We are very excited to put the two thousand and twenty with big middle fingers in the air. Good by two thousand twenty so we wanted to do a special episode with just us and it will bob you hear the cat of course has to get involved as well. Take some usually a few minutes. Get calm down but We wanted to do something similar to what we did together. A while back where we did kind of twenty questions for couples and this is twenty questions to help us reflect on two thousand and twenty and help us project good things into two thousand twenty one. So thanks for coming on. You're welcome. yeah no. I had so much fun last time. So yeah am looking forward to this You sound very good on the mike. It's very natural with it. So yeah cool. Thank you yeah. I'm feeling pretty. I'm a little nervous. Okay feeling a little nervous. But i'm getting into it. It takes a while to get into the swing of things. I would say if this is your first time jumping onto our show and checking us out. Do know that my standard kind of thing that i say is we are all things behavioral medicine and health psychology. And so normally. What we're trying to do is give you information. Give the audience information about how to design your own wellness journey and really informed with evidence based clinical research and practice and So today we're going to be a little bit more chill about it and do an interview style thing but we'll go back and forth with the same questions about how to be reflective and all of that thinking about a year and moving forward if any of you are interested in providing feedback about the show. What you liked or disliked. Of course we know you only like it. We are we so good so good the best. There are a couple of places that you can whether in canada. Whether you're in the united states you can drop a or better yet. Call and leave a voicemail. We don't pick up the line. Bob the cat who's making lots of noise might but the numbers are seven. Seven eight seven six four five seven four. That's if in. You're in canada and in the united states. It's four four two two six seven three one zero two And again if you just call those numbers you can leave a voicemail. It goes right to it. We will play on your comment potentially on a future episode respond to celebrate it. Whatever you can tax to the same thing tells which i think so yeah there it is perfect. We are enjoying something very special. It's a very fancy bottle of wine that you picked up silver oak silver oak. Two thousand fifteen. Yeah and It was behind the glass also. Yes oh special. Person had to come up and open it with a key. Yeah yeah and Yeah and it's so good it's like it's like butter. Yeah having some free and some cheese and it's it's quite delicious trammell. Yeah so. I'm treating myself today. Yeah very nice. So yes we promise not to get to trash. That's not the goal. Really is just really i think dig deep and i picked twenty questions that we can both answer each and i i haven't been. I have no knowledge of these questions. And this is the same as last time. Good jared. Ask me. If i you know i wanted to know again or sorry no this time and i said no i like the you know. Spur of the moment thing the shock value. Yeah the question. He spontaneity of it. Yeah before we say. Oh yeah so. I sound so much better closer. Yes like a radio announcer I think before we dive into the questions. It might be interesting for each of us to just through a brief comment about What two thousand twenty was like for us for you. How would you answer that. If you could put it into a just a few short sentences like i think it's like for me twenty twenty to sum it up i would just say it's The end end of something. I think it's going to be. I think you know next year. It's going to be the beginning of a lot of things and renewal. I think so. Whatever the opposite of renewal is i would label twenty twenty as yeah like decay or something like that. Oh yeah decay you surprise me. Yeah that's a good way to decay of our social structure society. Everything that just occurred. You know twenty twenty has really tried us the world and it shows And your do you think of any one of these things would have happened in isolation we would have been okay so for instance. This was the most fucked up year in the sense that we have covid right our first major pandemic in one hundred years not our first sars virus but certainly our first major pandemic we had trump. That was nothing. But destabilizing and chaos forming constantly whether you love him or not can't deny the chaos daily and then there was the whole welp spurred on by trump but the whole you racism kind of coming to the surface environment being talked about as a big way Anything any one of those things in isolation. I think we could have dealt with. Yeah but everything happened this year. Everything happened and yeah. It's it's been a rough one and i. I feel like my theme for twenty. Twenty one is Twenty twenty one. How some have some fun like that. that's it. I feel like the this past year. It's just been completely boring and you know there have been setbacks. So i think twenty twenty one is where i wanna get out and i wanna do fun things and i'm going to be safe about it. you know in careful but i'm gonna do these things. Yeah yeah yeah you know whether we go away or you know. I was looking at like You know grouse mountain for like going skiing. You know maybe that's something we could do. Although i think it would prey break my body. Yeah no doubt. Hey and it's been very busy up there. Because i think everybody's had kind the same idea i've heard about that and also you got to be careful because it can be a bit of a spreader place So if you're not super careful you know just because you wearing gloves doesn't mean you don't. It's not around you you know so you have your careful. I'd just. I just think i miss that. I miss skiing. And i miss snowboarding. I i admit i've i've done both but skiing's it was easier for me So you know Yeah take the year. I guess if two thousand twenty was all about we've got this horrible pandemic two thousand twenty one. We'll be treating the bendix now. we've got vaccines. There's a third or fourth one kind of in canada. The third one is being approved right now right so basically is as soon as i get my vaccine i'll come out of hibernation and i'll still be careful because you know i don't want to give any one thing so i'll still be wearing masks but it'll be a little less cautious and freaked out. Which helped me enjoy the moments. That i do get out because even going to the grocery store right now as just like yes. Yeah you know and when you get stuck at home and you get used to. That i it. Just it's yeah you get tired you get out of it. So yeah i. I think johnny. It's been particularly hard for you. I was telling the calling this at work the other day actually. I think it's been particularly hard for you and many people in your situation where you're working from home. Yeah there truly is nothing more by choice. You know They decided at my work to close down the vancouver office. And you know honestly. I i was the only one working out of the office You know my co worker meg. She is right now And brandt his working from home. He was working from home to begin with. So you know. I guess financially they had to make some decisions and they decided closed down the office and yes so now. I'm working from home and it's different you know out. I'm cool so yeah making it work. So yeah yeah and for me. I guess the gift is that. I work in healthcare administration. And i have to be there every day. You know like there's no working from home option in healthcare leadership like you. You have to be there. You're the boss and We we were the ones rolling out our public response and We have been. We will continue to be now. It's public health. Course with the vaccine that will be coming out and all of that but my point being is it's it's been a gift to have every day even though i have not felt like it. I you know there's days. I haven't felt like leaving. I would much rather stay here and cocoon and be around with crazy bob. The and peggy and all that but it just was so good to be forced out. And i think that's been a gift for me. I we both have this propensity towards depression. I think for you. it's probably been harder just because again. It's so easy to stay in a cave. Yeah i do love our house We're lucky and i just feel like it's all we've known for like what's alive known for eleven years now and for me and it just feels so nice here and we are blessed where we are no yeah tribute trilby. Well so yeah yeah. We're lucky exactly like we're lucky to have such a comfortable comfortable place. I yeah i think that does make nice for instance when i do come home and just feel like exactly where i want to be and yeah but again i guess not being able to leave so much. That's tough that's gotta be tough. yeah But you know. Like i said it's i i feel like come tomorrow. You know and next year. I really want to focus on getting out there and having fun and just getting out of his see when the weather gets no sir as well you know so you know come spring or what have you will. Just go out and do fun things. And i'm just hoping that the vaccine's the majority of the two of canada will have the vaccines by the summer I'm hoping so if you're listening to this and you haven't had it yet. please go get one. Yeah yeah just do it have faith in the vaccines and yeah. Don't believe that antibiotics bullshit. Yeah complete bullshit and harmful bullshit really. Well hey. I think this was a good to start. Let's roll into the twenty questions. And i think there's some of them that are a bit repetitive. And it's up to each of us. I guess how much time you want to spend on each one but what kind of role through them. I think they're fun. We'll see how fast i get through this glass of wine. That's right that's okay. let's do. Let's take a look. I have to pull up my notes really quick Okay and it's interesting because the first question and the last question go together so the first question. I ask You know pick three words to describe this past year. go for it. there feel free to use profanity. I'm this will not be a episode. Three words okay. Somber decay is when we've already said oh and Ending i think having beans. Yeah okay. yeah okay i. I will say claustrophobic. Chaotic and crisis Yeah those are applicable. Yeah yeah we'll dirk but hey that is exactly how i would describe the year for me. cake next question. In what ways did you grow in your relationships with others this year or next question. No i would say that. I'm definitely closer with my family I think you you are as well You know with Yeah just been hanging out with the family more and so yeah just feel the love. More from the family How many times can i say In the space of two minutes We spent really targeted time with them. Yeah well you haven't spent as much as as i have which is cool but just our family is amazing. You know they're all great. Awesome people and you know that. That is great. So i treasure that. Yeah and i've been the one who's not spend as much time with them in the past but this year really saw that connection as being important For me so. I'd say if i was to say which wasted relationships grow from this year is i allowed myself just to kind of be more involved with your family and open to them to making plans because they truly are wonderful they are they are. They're great people and and Yeah like i treasure them rockstars and like you know they have become friends. You know. I don't have very many friends anymore. Yo and i think that just is su. I'm okay with that. Yes so for your family becomes your friends Especially in time like this okay. Very good okay. The third question What was the biggest thing or new activity. You learn to do this year. Work from home. That's it yeah. I think that works absolutely work from home. Yeah yeah so that would be it for me. Okay for me would probably be work related as well say it's new activity but my responsibilities at work all went up like tenfold and i think there was a lot of places which i won't even get into but in my job i was holding back a bit and there was none of that none of that at all. I felt very free this year. To if i said something wrong and fucked it up i knew that i can always come back around and fix it because it just didn't matter like we're all in this intense place so i i to me. The biggest thing that. I've really learned this past year in terms of doing is to not have so much a filter and it's just about getting shit done. I do think that when we come back into more quote unquote normal. That will pull it back. A little bit but It really helped me advance in a lot of ways. So yeah okay. I'm what was your single biggest time-waster in your life this year Don't say work from home. Probably we'd all they do say because it just helps me mentally pass. The time i think when i you know so i don't i guess maybe yeah 'cause you know when i when i am hi i you know it tends to distort the time and talents to help it pass quicker especially when you're bored or you know you're feeling a bit down. It can be a little bit like a nice distraction because if you're so focused on something negative for me it helps me switch over to something because i'm like. Ooh what's this. Who is this because yeah. So you're you're you're you're painting in two ways though right like one kind of you're able to shift your attention to other things. Therefore not absorbed negative things that's a really positive impact time-waster. You're also saying that time just flies by and you can't always account for what you did during that time. Yeah it just it just time becomes less important. I think for me And yeah. I don't know but Anyone else you know out there who is a big you know pot smoker will tell you that time is is an issue. It's not an issue but it's just becomes less important and and maybe you. Yeah you're just not so focused on being as precise as you win because it's like not as important. Yeah polka for me. The biggest time-waster. Certainly this year has been when i'm not working at all on. I'm watching netflix. Or youtube. Videos and i would say that's a pretty big time waster because i would love to be absorbed back into my photography which i just find so much joy in But it is a motivation sucker. Oh yeah youtube videos. Like i caught on youtube loops. Yeah like trashy videos and paint us. Yeah we want some drama. You go to hurt exactly exactly okay. Okay let's see here what's most valuable in your life right now right now you yeah i would say you because like yeah. I don't know like i can't even. I can't even begin to explain that really. You know. I will say the same thing back. Because i think cove is made a bit closer. Yeah yeah you know definitely because we are spending more time together. 'cause working from home and but you know it it there's just this It just works. You know like we respect each other's space and you know Yeah yeah so. I made it work and we make we make anything work relationship. We hope we have blips of challenges. But there little blips yeah yeah mob is a blip. He's insane okay. he really wants to be a parent. You cannot be part of this podcast okay. Let's take a look here Yes we both said. Each other is kind of the most valuable thing. Our life in. Kobe has brought us closer. That's that's super the case i. I've thought that i'm throughout the year. I remember i noticing that probably even in april when we are a couple of months into it. so okay What was the single greatest lesson in this past year. And what did it teach you about yourself. It's just see you don't like these questions but it's hard because it's like an just such a boring life and it's like i don't fucking thing you know so it's like what are you thinking of. I can't think of anything. But repeat the question. And i'll try to. I think their stuff here Let's see here. What was the single greatest lesson Past year maybe. It's a personal lesson. Whatever okay so. I think you just patience. I think patience You know with myself probably Because when you have patients with yourself you can have patience with others And situations that that come about and also With you know the shitty times that we're dealing with an people's general attitudes they have when you're out It's like you don't you don't take it on and and if you do experience it you have patients and you can respect it and grisly. Put it aside on. I think that's a really good one. I think i will share that one with you. 'cause i i noticed that i'm less sensitive to other people's approach. Yeah you know like it used to be very offended even at times especially checkout going to check out stands investments vancouver in canada. We love to dislike gloat about how friendly we are. I just think we're not very friendly when you go out to get coffee somewhere if someone actually to you the first thing i like someone who's taking your order. Whatever the first thing i think as oh my god you really don't give a shit about your business but it's such a norm ear for people to act like that that it's like i don't know it used to be so to me and now it's just like yeah. Whatever people grocery stores had happen to us like ten times around a whole foods a little while ago and people just cut you off. They walk right in front of you like you don't even exist. I'm a ghost. I yeah well so this is just it. Maybe because because we've gone through this we're going through this pandemic thing. We see a light at the end of the tunnel. All that just doesn't even seem like it's important anymore. No but if you know if i'm out and you catch me on a bad day. Oh yeah you don't wanna piss me off. And i i'm pat for that usually put my head down with you and like oh god here we go. Yeah but those. Those moments become fewer and far between the eldora gut. Because it's just like i'm just sick. You get sick of embarrassing yourself and also your husband right. It's like okay this is. This behavior is pointless and that's another thing to do with patients as patients with yourself so you take a few deep breaths. If you're feeling shitty you don't open your mouth and you let yourself feel things and then you let it pass like okay. Yeah and then you realize that it's just not a big deal. No so fuck it walk on. Walk on exactly okay. What was your most selfless act. This past year selfless act. What's one thing that you did this year. That was selfless. You know something you didn't want to do but you did it anyway. That's a tricky one isn't it. You answer this first selfless act. I don't know. I mean a lot of them. Come back to work for years so generous. So picking on would be difficult. I don't know. I think i picked up more responsibilities at work this year because other people a couple people around me were just really really struggling so that felt 'cause i got nothing out of that i. It was made things more tough for me. But i felt very good that it had a very positive impact on those other. People happen twice as much as say without. I hate talking about my work. So i don't want to tell stories but because i think it bores people but yeah i would say that it's work related for me so for you. What was the most selfless act. It could be something that you did for somebody or spent time with someone that you didn't want to but you did For me i guess the hard one isn't it. Don't know i feel like having done very much or people lately and we've been cloistered in this department you know working with very little contact with other one one thing. I think that i'm struggling with this. Because i i know i haven't been very selfless lately and That is also something that i'm going to work on for next year is being more generous and giving Because yeah i. Just i yeah. It's easy to get like forget about you know stuff like that so yeah okay. Very good very very good. Very good What does what does success look like for you in the upcoming year. And how do you need to redefine your definition of success. I think that's a really good question for you. Okay i think success for me will be You know getting the vaccine yup and being just getting out more and and I really want for us to go to a soyuz. Okay wine country for canada. Yeah and You know maybe we could stay there and like go out on the lake or something. That would be so cool. I love for us to just like get like inflatable dinghies or something and just go like lay on the lake or like a bottle of wine or something. Yeah yeah a colleague of mine at work has a house right on the lake there so i think what is the lake. They're called. It's like a soyuz. She's got a house in a speedboat and all kinds of stuff right there. I think we should make give him a little call. Phone call comes time or even just giving camping. We'll be found this yeah. I think it's called. No i'm i think i'm thinking pains point but i think that might be christina like okay anyways. Come below if i'm wrong. The comments below. That doesn't work that's youtube. Whatever just text hall yeah. Don't let's see here. So what is success for me. Look like in the upcoming year. I don't know. I think that's a really hard question. I mean success for me is where we were gonna rock casino. Oh yeah right. So there's that ultimately rich. Yeah so you know. I don't know. I think i think success for me. This year is going to be doing a better job at compartmentalizing my job. So for instance like being able to when it's my weekend it's my weekend like optionally kind of available to everybody all the time and i think i'm gonna start compel compartmentalizing my job a little bit. That's big success for me. Because i think always being on is definitely not healthy. Said that. I think success would mean for you to move up and get a promotion because you're such a leader in no a natural leader and you want to this and you want to move up so hopefully you know. Yeah you'll get that chance this this year next year or the next couple of years or four. Yeah yeah you know is for like my current role is as it is to be the king of hell may current rules still has lots of lessons for me. I always say that like it's just such a hard job but Yeah okay now let's go. We don't really good at what you do. Yeah i mean you know that i try. I try and i'm the best editor that you'll see ever yet ever in history i will edit the fuck. Oh catch all the errors so you just send them my way. Exactly exactly okay. Next question So that people know you are chief editor at chief editor. What is it. Oh gosh elevating uganda's in like older than most yes. Okay but senior now. Used to be for. Nasdaq what is it now. I'm just a. I'm the lowest editor. And i like it that way. Any responsibility i want to just do my job and flowed under the radar and do what i do k. Matt makes you happy. Yeah you know because I've been there fifteen years and i do love. It asked me of the daylight you really enjoy. I'm like yes. I love it. I love my job. And i do. I always have. Yeah that's predictable. I i know what i'm doing. I get you know peop- supervisors and coworkers tell me i'm doing a job. Good job so yeah so it feels good. You know cook. I feel like valued in my job and i always have. Yes so might be nice to have a job where you actually get to work with people. Now okay okay. We'll we'll jump to the next question. So let's see here. What creative projects you want to bring into the world this coming year. Oh okay let's see. I was talking about this With rob the other day. And i want to start painting and i don't know and i'm like i'm scared. You know like it's like i guess. The perfectionist side of me wants to make sure that whatever i do is great or looks good. You know like. I've always been like that with art leg and music. It's like it's it's like whenever i'm doing something. It has to be perfect zone like and just like in life. I think crosses his over. If it's very it's been very hard for me to just complete anything in my life. So i'd like to do art. I feel like that'd be a good stepping stone for me to complete other things in my life that may be need to be completed. Okay yeah okay so painting. So yeah i think a couple of years for birth. That got you canvas. yes and it'll send us sitting there and you know what rob said He said that linda is used to pain. And you know Would probably be good to use hints. Yeah exactly oh that's citing you know. Maybe we could do like a painting session one day and in the spring or the summer. That'd be fun. Oh how we have over stuff. They're right up they're upstairs. She still paints but she did piece up on charcoal charcoal seven. Who'd man is and it's excellent so she's obviously talented. So yeah yeah. It'd be good to do you know i like. I don't think you know when i think of painting i think of abstract and shapes clean lines. Yeah yeah makes sense. Okay i guess. Poke places and thing i think for me. I think creative projects would be. I want to get back into my my analogue photography. I mean. I think somewhere back there where you're sitting. I've got probably five rolls of one twenty from that need to be developed. I have the next two weeks off. I'm gonna make sure that. I developed that from now. Yeah oh my god. I forgot i thought. Yeah that's right. I only have to work one week. And then i have a week That's right. have that your second together together. Who lunch other. We will kill you. Okay okay here's a good one Like this question and this question may think of you. What would you try if you knew you could not fail sobriety. Really what do you mean. Brady of what drinking smoking. Yeah yeah potent booze. Yeah okay. I mean. I'm not as much addicted to drinking as. Am to smoking. i can go days without drinking. Yeah that's fine. And i embrace that because i feel better better and i sleep better But we ate is just not something to sacrifice as part of me until i die on so stark. Anyone who says weeds not addictive. Come on down very few people get addicted. And i'm you know fell into that category but it did enhance my life and a lot of ways i was very you know. I think someone who may fall on the spectrum somewhere. No i don't even say. I don't know lamma wrong. I'm on medication. That's fine at four and two for depression. Mostly the fucking i did. Yeah but that's another story but yeah you were a party boy. I was an adult. I no no no. I'm married man. It's right so it's all different. Okay well that's a very deep response to that question. I i'm opening up time bound my barriers. My walls are coming down coming down. I don't care. I don't give a fuck. Who knows the truth about me. Because i have nothing to hide. No no that's been a covert lesson. Get it so much of that okay. Very interesting okay. Myself what would i do if i couldn't fail. Oh well if. I knew could divorce me that topic. Sorry i think running ultra. I think that's something. I would try if i knew i couldn't fail. That's that's the ultimate Having run a marathon that feeling that you get. And i saw all just keep it short and sweet on that one. Yeah ultra marathon. Yeah let's see here. What major indulgence are you willing to experience. Honestly not not something funny. Like what major and daulat indulgence. That you don't do are you okay. You're willing to express something that i've been thinking about. A lot is an electric scooter. And i would love to buy one and the spring and i just would like to go to town on although you know like go back and forth. Maybe an electric bike pedal assist would be better though. Because you know you're getting some exercise as with like scooter. You're just standing there. You know you look down cool so the scooter those cool because you can fold it and take it up exactly and a lot of the new scooters that are coming out way. Less than thirty pounds just doable for me. Because any more than that. I'm gonna fuck my back up. I can't care. Well no i i mean i don't i mean i rarely exercise name bony and skinny in hall and you know if i pick heavy things up because of the lever arm distance over. Here y'all gonna break something. Okay okay so for me. What made your indulgence my willing to experience. I'm oh wow. Indulgence is a of the of word that's laden with. Send and all kinds of indulgence. was always research chemicals. We could. I mean a major indulgence like you. You went to a purchase that you really really love. That's also hard for me. Because i v anything that i really want or need. I'm gonna come back to this question. Because i just don't think i can answer it. I just feel like. I've got so much like i just. I been trying my best to answer. All the questions doesn't mean if i my answers are what i'm actually mean. They talk a lot of bollocks. Yeah do okay let's see here. What is one change you could make to your lifestyle that would give you more peace. I like this question because it's not just saying what's one thing you can change about yourself. It's actually saying what's one thing that you could change about your lifestyle. It would bring you more peace Besides it's agreeing with me all the time Into that i so. Okay okay okay. What's one thing. I can change about my life other would bring me more peace. I think it would probably be Running has been a big part of my life. I feel like now. I'm just i get a couple of runs in a week. I feel like i'm dabbling. I feel like the reason that i do. That is because i don't allow myself to exercise and other ways. So i think one thing that would bring me more. Peace is to see. Physical activity is all types of physical activity that in other words. The only valid the way i look at it now is only valid. Activity is a running there. There's so many other things like Like what i said before like skiing. Yes you know. There's this like other things that we can look into. Yeah that we can. Do you know We'd get a peleton bike for the house or something. I don't know that's a little. We have to bikes here. We should just get fixed up again in the spring and go biking together because we never really did that. No no so we can do that. Yeah yeah okay. Let's do that there. We will do that. let's see here. What is okay. We did that to that one. We're doing pretty good here. In what ways are you willing to communicate better with others. I'm willing to communicate with them. Let's let's end the problem. Okay i just willing to start the communique god. I'm willing to reach out if you are. That's great okay. Okay so then for me. I would say that the one thing i can do better around. Communication in particular is doesn't show up at home so much but at work it shows up all the time as I when i'm talking with somebody especially my one to ones. I tend to. I already know where the person's going. And i feel patient and i just basically and the conversation with what they're gonna say and i think that's a very bad habit so i of course a little bit reinforcing because the person see you know a firms that i got it right and then of course unify you skip to the end. I skipped the work. And i think there's a lot of value in that middle stuff people need to be able to as there's a catharsis people need to be able to tell their story or tell what's going on and and they get frustrated ultimately if you're always jumping to where they're headed. I would be grateful. Because like i. You know like if i was at work and talking around something or not like trying to get to the point and you knew what the point was and you went there like thank you because yeah that's what i meant. Yeah so. I think that's a strength that you have the you can predict what they want when before they've even finished. Yeah i would be thankful but yeah for some people. They want to be heard they do. You have to wait. And and if you've definitely had feedback that people are a little frustrated with that. That's something i it's not nothing. Addison personal yeah. I can see the deflated response. Sometimes or whatever and then also when you beat your coworkers lowest. They don't think they appreciate no definitely. It's bad had locks and coking. Just ease on ease up on that the knees and the guts and yeah you know i mean. They have to be reprimanded. Maybe just doing more vocal. Exactly exactly okay very good. Let's see. ooh this is a deep one to the last. Few questions are deep johnny. So sorry Doing is there a any relationship in your life that would benefit from forgiveness. Not them forgiving. You you forgiving them but what relationships that be and why who and you can skip this question if you went to. Because it's a it's a big. I think i think it would be myself. And i think it would be to forgive myself for not being perfect and for having certain vices and Not beating myself up so much having them Because i'm okay. Yeah you know like my life is good so yeah probably that. That's really good answer. I don't think i can come close to that. That's really really good. Maybe a little thing. I would say is There are some people from my distant distant distant past who the relationships were very bad and every once in a while one of those individuals will reach back out to me. to connect at. I just can't put aside the staff. Especially when i've reconnected with other people like that and it's gone very poorly so i tend to just not even take the risk anymore and it doesn't matter who's fault it is situation if you can't take that on yeah you can't. You're just not ready for that. Don't do it. yeah yeah. But i think maybe i'd like to maybe give people more chances for my distant distant past because i just i just have a hard time forgetting all of that stuff and so i know how big i mean. That was all those people. You killed murderous fat. Yeah you know they all reach out. Why why did you take away. Yeah i mean. I mean ted bundy no close so many murders. That's a problem when you're vegas people fill in the gaps so there it is you wish. Okay what's one way. You could have more fun in your life. You've sort of answered this. But i think it's pretty good more fun drink more no now More fun Just get out. I need to get out. And it's hard like i said before you called it. I kind of already touched on this. But in the winter here in vancouver specifically it's just so shit out to be outside to enjoy myself i feel so said said it. Just misty or hard rain incessantly goes on for like five months. Yeah and so. When it's winter you tend to internalize so you're inside the house so you're looking for comfort and then maybe those conference are the healthiest for you. Right you know and and so then you know when the spring summer comes along you know you can get out and do your thing. And i'm just not gonna let kovic fuck with me this year. No i'm not gonna worry about aetna. Get maxine. I'm gonna call my doctor. Yeah this week and be like heads up. Give me a heads up. I'm high risk. I need my accede. So when is it going to happen or this is a situation where i think why this two thousand twenty one is all about the vaccine is because i think it's liberating and i think that's what we needed So perfect answer. Totally totally totally agree. Yeah i talk about maxine. Because i'm all about it like yeah. You're getting them. Yeah no total in this one in particular. Yeah so for me. Having more fun of my life is going to be again. I'm gonna go back to the compartmentalization of work. So like when i'm at work i'm at work when i'm at home. Shut it off. And when i do say like going out and doing things yeah want those times to be with you know that right. Yeah i don't want you to think that. Like i'm like oh well you know johnny's just thinking about going out and having fun. Oh no no no no no no yes would you. I mean to tie back into what i even just said. I think sometimes we do spend time together. I'm distracted by work. I i know that you're in. You're the having fun. When i see the special jared that i don't get to see area. No but when you really let lose and usually that's quite a few drinks involved right takes a lot to break down your wall. Yeah and I'm just had the pleasure of experiencing that moment with you and so yeah. I think you know if we did go up to like a soyuz. We could look it up wine country. I hear they have like sickle license tours with mascots like bike around like by bottles of wine and shove them in your baskets right and you know bike around drunk without fear of arrest just because they're wearing helmets and it's heading that's right. Yes so yeah. Let's do that. And i think it'll be fun. Okay perfect the only four or five more questions What is one word that you want people to use to describe you bitch okay. Good alumnus hold. That can i can i. I'm just i'm just being rambunctious. i'm sorry. Honestly if like if i was just know i'm being serious. Yeah not joking. I think one word to describe about me is caring. Yep yep good okay. I will say for myself. What look at the question and make sure i got it right What is one word that you want people. So you said. Caring is is one word people. No one word that you want people to say about you. Oh you said carrying. And i think that's perfect. Yes i would say yes for me it were. It would be a calm calm. Calm person so calm would be well. I did notice when We were over at christmas eve. Dinner with the family eaten sweat once and you are not sweating and that is something. Oh physically sweaty. Yeah do that you just like you get really anxious and you sweat and like for you not to do. That was really cool. What's interesting to note that you you actually get really self conscious about oh yeah exacerbates says anyway so easily okay. Good stuff right there. What was one of the most meaningful compliments he received in this past year. And why was it meaningful to you. Oh just you know that. Somebody was like oh. You're so hot now. Pay like five million dollars to have sex with you just that checkout standard wholefood couple of times. But i don't want to talk about no. Did you get any compliments this year. I mean i say you're beautiful. What guests. I did get a compliment and i really felt it was a compliment. When an in my mid year review when dab my boss was handing over to amanda okay another awesome boss so lucky with my bosses and they. They gave me irate myself twos on everything like one as needs improvement sell. Who is raiding. Yeah yeah that's how it works in my work you have. One is needs improvement. Yeah to is successful three as exceptional you know and i never considered myself exceptional. Because i'm not. I don't toot my own horn. No like whenever. I'd just like i'm good at my job with a certain things i just. I just feel great so like i just think that it doesn't need to extend past that. Yeah you know what i mean. Yeah so when. I when it does come back to me and like i got i got a three and you know i do myself appraisals. I think yeah get myself twos anyway. Mid media review came back and there was a three in one of the categories. And i was like. Oh my god. That is so cool. It's like they love me. But it's like i don't expect it but when it does happen it's really nice that that was the time. Yeah the scale is one to three or one hundred three. So i mean yeah so And that's exceptional and they don't give they're not allowed to actually give out a certain quota. I think i don't know i've i've heard i like. Nobody's told me that i've heard this my opinion that maybe they have. Yeah yeah like everything's got to always be standard okay anyway. So that's that's great. Though i try to do my best at my job and it shows my best is obviously good enough. They definitely like you like. Oh my gosh. Yeah i mean. They're amazing so the best compliment. I received this year. Stop okay the best the best compliment. I mean you want to takeover this show to do. That's the problem my pickles. No just for the audience. Just it for a second. It's quite it's quite bad. Okay that just grosses me out actually. I'm not super into like food eating some more and more into like talking and whispering okay. That's not okay okay. So we point made best compliment. I received this year is I got told that people see my decision. Making is very steady. And i would like. Oh let's a compliment. That is a compliment. Because i see myself as feeling in my head very chaotic. So that was. That was nice right three more questions in the last questions. My favorite because it falls up from the first go. Hurry up over wine. We'll get there. We'll get there. It'll be soon three more questions. Actually it's two more questions or more questions. Okay what is the place you went to visit in two thousand twenty one. You said soyuz pick something else. International doesn't matter it could be local. But what's one thing you want to visit. One place on a visit in two thousand twenty one may main me. Oh come on place. No place I think place either. What toko and mexico or costa rica and basically with toko in the winter you can get direct flights from an couvert either that well. I have researched so you can. Just listen to me while you're working at home watching youtube videos or whatever you know either there or costa. I really love to go to costa rica with you. I think that'd be take time have been there. You're very connected to the costa rica idea. And i just think of those kissing bugs that give you diseases. I wanna see the turtles. Yeah then the sharks swim with them. Okay psalm a place. I would've is in two thousand. Twenty one is What it'd be really cool our way no. I would love to go back home to norway. That makes me sad. That would be something but it's expensive. No it's not no so anyway. We'll removing home. As an option. I would say i would love to do the town that jumps in my mind nelson. I would love to go visit. Yeah well yeah sure. That's just a drive away right like leaving talking about Perhaps retiring there. I think that would be quite appropriate for us to retire there. If not there may be a soyuz for the wine this kamloops but yeah ok okay. Very good kamloops camel poops. That's right. call it. Okay here's to this questions important. Because it's only wanna ask like this because i hate personally. I hate the idea of resolutions. I hate the idea that you're going to pick a date and start something all your life is going to be different for. Whatever you're choosing. And when i when people challenge me on this i always say Tell me one resolution you've ever stuck with your entire life and people never can. So the by do indulge the question this way. What is one new york. Commitment new year's commitment they you are willing to make right now for two thousand twenty one commitment seriously. That's i'm not going to admit it. I'm going to internalize my change and i'm going to do it and that is something i'm going to do but i'm not going to spread that out to the world to tell us what that is. No i don't even know but you have something that you're going to commit to and you're just saying you're damned gonna do it. Yeah okay good For myself what is one thing. I'm going to commit to this year If right now. I'm only getting into runs a week. I'm gonna get in Three on average. Yeah that's great. That's a boring goal. But i wanna run another marathon and so i just think i feel like i'm maintaining a very low level. It's pretty pathetic. So that's a commitment. Think it's pathetic. It feels pathetic I hate resolutions. Because they make everything is going to be. I think the older you get the last year really believe about resolutions. Because you know yourself you know you're not gonna fucking change. No why bother no. And that's my my nihilist on that. Yeah okay last question okay. Very serious positive positive. So i'm going to tell you the first question first and then we'll ask the last question so the first question i said pick three words that describe your past year. I can't remember what you said. I can't remember what i said. I think i said alive. See words like crisis and catastrophic. Or whatever i said Some i set. I forget the first word. But then i said decay and then ending. Yeah okay good good. Let's better than i can do for what i said. What are three words to describe two thousand twenty one. What are you going to make happen. In terms of three words okay productivity productivity happiness happiness and growth personal growth. Yeah you're not gonna get taller anything i'm going to. I'm going to grow to be ten feet and feet. So i just i just you know. I'm getting like extensions. Okay okay three words that i will use for two thousand and twenty one and we better go back and listen to the segments literacy. How we're doing. I'm going to say to be hopeful to be calm and I am. I would say again picking No of an assay hopeful calm and running again. That just gonna come back in here. Three words that are going to describe my next year. And if you're a runner you understand what i'm saying because running solves so much things in your head space and since i've cut back on it so much i'm not getting that benefit as much and it's profound and so i just think that's what my twenty two thousand twenty one needs to be a big. Everyone has their things that help their mind to make them feel better. You get with that. Yeah okay wow that was twenty questions. How is it for you. It was good. I felt like i got a little sidetracked. A little jokey and i apologize. I if i didn't mean to take away from the seriousness. Does it need to be serious. I think we'll i think you know it. It like with our everything with me is either jokey or serious. Yeah in know so. That's yeah i just feel like that. Cut up being light was really helpful. Yeah you know really honest. I i just hope that people come listen to this and you know if they get a little chuckle out of it or they just enjoy it then. That's good because we don't know anyone. No no no and like maybe we could. Maybe outside of work. Yeah maybe like just friends or other people in my life at work. But that's not that's different like how would you know again compartmentalizing people it. Just be good to hear. Maybe whether people have to say about these questions. Their responses are. Yeah maybe they could. You know You know texture get a hold of you at that number. Let's do the numbers really quick. Yeah okay so the numbers are. We didn't script that that was just really now. You know that reaches both of us. Yes oh you know you could just like ask us question here like if you're interested there is nobody's responded you want to then. Yeah now cool okay. So if you're in canada at seven seven eight seven four five seven four and if you're in the united states ex trump land you are four four two two six seven three one zero to feel free to text or voicemail and if you voicemail we made or tax we will either read or play it on a few drops owed and comment or cry depending on what you say so there. It is. Thank you so much. My darling hubby for your welcome this young. Yeah and you know cheers to twenty twenty one and for me like i said before. It's the earth having fun. Yeah whatever that may be your you just have have a bit of fun take some time out for you and be safe. Make it so make it so. Make it so have a star trek marathon. Yeah tng yet tingey all right with ged. T. and g. g. t. n. T know at whole foods. I did see covered. You know what no cut that out. We're not cutting anything out. What did you say a whole foods. Well i did see diet tonic. Water and i am. I might be able to obsess diet. Tonic water yes with jin so we can have. That would be the same as regular tonic bitter. Would it be tastes weird. It would need to know. These things tastes weird. So watch the next generation with gin and tonic. There it is okay guys you take with gmt. That's what. i was trying to say earlier out. That is we're digress. I'm getting that now. And i appreciate that and that might be. That'll event and that'll be tomorrow's thing. Okay right guys much love peace of might add. Yeah yeah text us or whatever k- channels by.

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Digimon Adventure 2020: Episode Fifty Four - Mad Max Furry Road

Lost in Translationmon - A Digimon Podcast

50:07 min | 3 months ago

Digimon Adventure 2020: Episode Fifty Four - Mad Max Furry Road

"Hello everyone and welcome to new episode of lost in translation on this time like covering digital adventure twenty twenty episode fifty four the vagrant war demon rebellion. I'm may and this time. I'm joined by the usual lovely women. So i up. I have to louis. I have easy. And of course. I have quinn rowdy. The episode starts up with grimaud. Natasha finding wgiram on and we have touchy with a little coupon in his arms. Which is kind of adorable. I do like cumin. I don't even get an explanation for a coupon comes from. Just you know tight. She's stopping by one came from the nave where the weather wasn't going inc cross. Was we find out. The coupon came from a mummy and daddy coupon. That's true mature. So many questions about the nature of g on in that world and also. Maybe that's just cute mom. I mean wanna baba. Mona also said to be parents address. So it's not like the first time i've had parents what's a para and And also i know that bob ammann is like a roseman who has gotten old. That's i did not know that one. Yeah the they like. The digital law goes pretty deep. And it's pretty good all right. Oh good i guess. I enjoy large parts of like the probably. The one of my favorites is probably one of the most common bits of law. And it's the original metal. Graham on was blue because it was a virus type blue because the metal on metal grey on is on just sticking all these bits of metal into him and he's actually become blue because he's now infected that were like he's got like he's used medal from different digital and like he's just going to junk out of dead bodies bicycling any sean good at a budget. Yeah basically but anyway cynicism law which is pretty cool anyway back to the episode so we have a grandma findings jerome which is kind of weird. Because he hasn't evolved yet but we get an evolution straddle anyway but it feels kind of weird that he would just go to grown women saying him go to metal grey mon for level digital on visits. We streamed especially considering that the rest of the animation in this episode was actually really good that they seemed to feel the need to toss in the you know the obligatory transformation sequence up to metal very much that we'd and yet the animation is episode is probably the best animation we've had four probably almost fifty episodes. Maybe i think it might have even been better than the first few episodes where the animation was really good at the end mason. He was incredible. The colors fantastic like the use of the colors and the sunset and the colors in the explosion. The animation was just incredible. Like more of this. I'm sorry i meant was great. Mom had a budget. My bad evolves into sean grown. Close anyhow shut graham on. That's religion A lot of this episode reminded me a lot of kill the kill just kind of in how it was animated especially a lot of like the action sequences definitely some pillow hill in there. I like it. Yes khloe brothels i no. I'm not sure what that is okay. So in digital cross was coupon is actually putting up with a similar sort of personality digital monterey bellman who is to rule him on who has like a guerilla gone with the drill. Isn't it yeah. I think this killick. You'll have drills. That's my buddy signed paypal anyway. Yeah rhythm on would probably fit in kill kill or grown lagaan based on my limited knowledge of boys so yeah i it will wants cool pretty wild. I got really enjoy a lot of this episode and get. I couldn't watch it without just making a thousand rebel without a cause jokes. Watch it with her. Get a tiny sewed sitting here being like mad. Max theory wrong okay. Okay i can think of that. I was thinking sort of. Like what if bain was also green at the mohawk. Yeah but there was some strong spain by the way. It's pretty great. yeah. I and also like i read. The did flashback for one quarter of second year. That's very quick and does not get touched on as much as i kind of expected it to. Yeah actually i with you. I applaud that but also god. I wish we could stop having flashbacks literally. a flashback. to a flashback. It's so many flashbacks fit. Yes so we have rebellion. Won't show up to up some on and it's so nice saying addition who is brand new like only debuted in a virtual pet like back in march. Which is rebelling mon fighting a digital. And that's been around. Since the third version of the virtual pet i think for the third version maeve came at nine hundred ninety nine if not two thousand so is kind of nice saying these super ancient digital infighting with brand new ones. It's just it just really nice and also the animation really is also nice. I've really happy to seek era off how you saying it but get on. Yeah just fucked memories of gabon's crashing digital world. Every time you use the jukebox. Try and scroll down. I'll be getting secret. Mont again coupon was one of the highlights of of cross wars. The best episodes of crossbows were keep on related like the coupons family episode and the episode which was also keep one episode like coupon had the best episodes in crosswalk. Absolutely almost just happy to see tech. Amman also shows up like half a second because take him on was on the vision. Six of the virtual pet was released mistrial and has not been seen in much since which is kind of wild. And i'm really glad that we finally saying him in this episode fair enough so we have really on destroying some wgiram on in a kind of gory way. Like he has like this hacksaw kind of thing to sort of stikes losses them and which is just kind of gory which is surprising also and then here and then he attacks metal grey mon. Then we have a quick second overbilling on remembering fighting ramonet ogm on. And that's that's that's all we get to see the lease. It's been a long time. Did oak on die. Apparently not just lay there on the ground. Okay i was like did he. Die at get reborn. Nick liquid doing that this season so i guess he just survived eventually evolved by I guess becoming horribly mutated like we didn't find stepped on by mail. Toronto vonnas yeah. He was immigrant. He got like dragon dad but back background. Yeah oh yeah. I think we liked that episode to pretty good i. I gave the five ot episodes later. But i'm like when these synopses came out and i read the rebel mon was was on. I was just like yes that is that is pretty good because i think at the time who kind of like we will hoping the did comeback. We're very episode. But yeah yeah but it is nice that we actually got to see him. It is not so we get the sale these returning characters like episodes. We had gaba moan and feel like we've had a few other ones come back and it's just it's kind of nice to meet these characters and then we have leone. Who came back. And i'm kind of mad that he came back because e like what happened. What happened. I had a really survive over. I don't know what happened after the fight with millennium on what happened to liam walked away. I guess the explanation. He survived some how he survived. Pulled up style. Ed wasp away off screen like speaking of liam on like i remember in the the actual ogm on episode like the start of the season. I remember saying that ogm on basically has become new liam on and this episode also has him bay the new liam on because even adventure liam on later showed up as cyber liam on because he was able to evolve and now we have really mon coming back because he was able to evolve. it's like liam on survive somehow ogm on evolved somehow i. I don't think we're going to get any more of that low from ogm on like i think this is one and done most likely we'd have to have a much more cohesive idea of what the season is unless like at the end is going to be some big the amish another thing like maybe job it maybe and even then i expect it to be a real just pulled out at the very end and also we are here. Yeah like when the everyone's filing eventually we all showed up at the right time. Yup gic but i like the maimi foams alum pot better. That would be all god. Princess me has no now generally simoni like this. I'm here for this. So we have coupon running up to eamonn. And i love the the noises. The coupon makes just sort of little boy. Ning like anti coupons goals like adorable and we have rebellion on telling you want to stay away from him and let me find out billion. One just loves to fight. And that's kind of why. He's in the wastelands because this is what will the outlaws. We get some flashbacks scholz of some tech mon being there which i mentioned being a big fan of and we have coupon rebellion meeting and rebuilding on says that the wake are nuisance and we find out that he has no memories past or why his fighting and we also know that he was beaten up by boltzmann and he still fights even like e v loses a five. He's still thoughts. Why i overseas why. He's just he's carrying as shoot like to make god that was so extra. I wonder if you might characterize rebel. Yvan as say without a cause for example just straight up set it literally into the camera and that's what drove me nuts. I'm just happy that we get bolt moan because also really all digital and so again it's another combination of these multiple all's however also cool looking like cool looking digital and very very evil. I forgot the kind of mom ammika to be honest. Has beaumont even being in the anime. Before i don't remember yeah in frontier really about two hundred. I don't remember. I just don't i don't remember. Maybe a rewatch frontier and be mad about it passed we get down to the is based on my puts anyway so a bunch of beaumont show up andrew. Rebellion on them raimondo. Wrong and imagining things. Like i do about with with on i think so. Yeah okay maybe. Thinking of goldman possibly skull. Marijuana does of just thinking of the episode. welcome on amazon and just making the step. I think it happens. If frontier would have been better with bolton what better with a lot of things then we say something that we don't. I don't think we've seen for a few episodes. We get a digitized glowing empowering up grandma's attack which i feel like it was a huge mechanic at the start of the show and now we got evolutions. It kind of wasn't used as much mud. It's nice that the though ever member existed it's just this show is so inconsistent we'd like the mechanics chooses to use remember when they were formed changes and only two people ever bothered to learn how yemen at least we go punch on and pigs on. It's true but i slip up the like permanent form changes that were more or less straight power. Ups were cool and more than the important characters should have gotten them. It was just it was just a caused slashing time as soda thing but was which. I'm still mad at matter eater. Oh yeah it only matters for the first ten episodes and whenever we needed to come up with a new color guard and is fair. So gray mon defeats the ramona boom on. And then we have a shot of augment having an actual injury. This is so we can see cute. Mon healing wounds injury tight. She then tries to bond with billy on and rebellion kind of ignore him but then baltimore montrose up. And her belly won't get beaten pretty badly but coupon wants to protect him. And it's kind of cumulus running at this jain incr- incredibly powerful digital on and it's just about to be stepped on which is just like also a mood but like i just think that level loan even i'm sorry i'm sorry but anyway i would just trying to continue on her opening like maybe maybe that that one will just reference where to stay there and be silent. Fine bramley were just gonna let that slide. We all heads who were not. We did not have no so. I'm just sitting here during this time thinking that this is just cute. Monin derulo moans relationship again. Which makes you feel kind of like look. It's adventure colon inspiration from another series again definitely especially with next week. We're going to have both g g mon and the school from one tier mike. Okay through references but also. I wish we were done with them by now like sometimes. I'm not even sure if it's a reference accidental those that but i mean just like we're coming back to ogre on like literally forty episodes later give or take and it's like they had no idea. How long debby monterey millennium mom. We're gonna take this episode like my main problem with this episode. Is that sign with the lost episode. Is that this episode would have been great fifty episodes one off maybe fifty episode so maybe forty episodes ago. Yeah like it just feels like if it had been episode twenty would have been like holy crap. Did you do great this season over. Yeah was episode twenty. That's like you know ten episodes since oregon what happened which is fine like i would have been a reasonable time to bring him back. And that's the thing this episode in there and nothing changes about the continuity except lake. Where taichi happens to wander off to that week. Yeah like we don't have any references to won't graham on every existing so this could very well just of bain sledding some time before episode thirty i like i don't i don't feel like anything actually happened this episode that actually moved full at the plot at all. We don't know anymore anyway also direction so he did then. He got told to walk into action so he did. You kept walking by didn't flash the right way since still not did you. On so he wanted to the desert would a digital thing. It's every season ended. Now touchy walking the longley road. The only road he's ever known to the desert Right ahead so the mall. Good what. I picked up the very different songs. I'm sitting here with my green day. Trash dreams oh yeah. I love green day but like you know everything that i like is trash. I'm angry mood. I mean yeah. I watch away and that's how i know how much up so was like killick hill so good. I haven't seen. I'll problematic to though i good not enjoy it but you know that does not necessarily mean it's bad it's a guilty pleasure. It's fair that's a lot of anime. Yeah that's almost just full. Stop anime look. I have the worst current guilty pleasure. And it's cool. It's a reality series on netflix. Too hot to handle so. I think i winning the guilty pleasure department. Anyway so back to the tv shows that all digital we have a coupon baps being stopped on but rebellion. Rescues him because he's body moves without him thinking and he doesn't know why keep on heals him and then rebellion won't stop fighting again and is able to be on which i really appreciate because abu just sitting here waiting full touchy to like go to war graham on and then volkmann be defeated by wolfgramm on some surprised that that didn't happen now like all around. I have very few negative things to say about this episode. That don't have to do y it happened when it did. Yes exactly yup. Oh i absolutely agree. So we've fate bolt on and rebellion announced to be partnered up with mon. And when asks when touchy asked was going he says straight ahead like unwanted said the human episode episode nine. So aware of okay. Did they finally notice. I messed blatant kind of the because they kind of go like could that main it's annoying. There's no way. I mean even matter but yeah what a weird okay. i guess. We'll never know. Rebellion was actually oklahoma. It's a anyway so then we have like a shot of ogm owns up an argument. We have a rebellion on having broken horn-like organ had yes and the episode ends it. No it's been it's it's confirmed but the characters tachi is not very smart. Yeah i don't know that either set of characters is aware of it like i reference. It were rebel. Amman's really one second. Flashback had me go to. Is he conscious of that memory. Or are we doing weird past life flashback. I literally don't now. Because i said that stuff about like not having memories Oh yeah they did. They did throw a one line about losing memories. so i don't think character walked away from that experience having any memory of it. Nope annoying yup. Okay anyway so in the encyclopedia we learn about rebellion moan and kushner was how long it takes him to do his hair and says he's like to see on both counts. Obviously just driving around quickly gives him that windswept mohawk like So long joe. I love him. I love college coach. Roy's in the encyclopedia every week when he just says something cute about the digital and it makes me happy if you could stop yep out just just kosher has had a few misses in bad weeks but god unlike this time yeah like wanting to put cushions on digital and that was that was weed gonna get I hope it's like what angela and got which was like fine but he could make the woman. The rosemont vary but which by the way rosemont next week which is which is cool. No mention minimum but this is fine thrilling bidness own right now that we have discussed the synopsis. Let's discuss the discussions what we're highlights this week. But animation was really good the like their mission was so good the really involving like he could tell that a lot of that into So under team lights for belmonte de stepped like the animation quality was just a huge step up. And as i mentioned on the team is real language to ally. That'll clean at the whole bit. If you really one. But i stand by cape it on the censor. It looks fine. They did they get the implications. They were lots of shots of rebellion months muscles. A lot. I stand by what i said. What you said is correct. It's fine raw like this. Because they like walks and that's fine for them. Yeah and also volkmann was also pretty cool looking Definitely i like off. The tagger demographic no definitely not. I'm glad that ogm on came back kind of like the men's pretty cool like it is kind of one of those things that we mentioned very early on something that we wanted to happen. We wanted ogm onto come back. We want to debby monterey. Explain his history with angel mon visit. We sort of got it like. I'm fine with what we got like. It's not that they don't like friends. Entity i hope that that continues to be relevant when we get like the seraphine one episode but it is nice that we've got a few things that we kind of always wanted but actually came back like it's it's probably the best thing to come out of. The debbie walk was the fact that we actually address debbie mon again and i'm still sitting here mad about the sound birdman that were only relevant and came back to episodes ago and we haven't seen them since they will be relevant. Maybe one more time if someone thinks if a thing that they would be helpful for he eh. the also. I wish we had angered one in this episode. Just because ogm on might tell that this debbie mole inside of the angel mom unlike it could have been a nice touch. I don't really have any other highlights. The animation was just incredible. Like that's my main hobby just was zone so look at cuma was good but again it was just danna cool to it was but like honest on lake. This is a very solid episode of mon. And even if it is you know repeating something if you're gonna steal at least they stole well. Only say stole something. That was good from crossville. Exactly like they're going to pick a lot of bad things crosswords and i guess it was worth. It's worth noting. I guess to me that have been watching some at mon- recently and when we were watching it kinda remarking parcels like. Oh gosh yeah. This is what it looks like. When did you mon- animated well. Oh gosh yeah you know this is what did you like when you know. The villain is clearly defined and their master plan is revealed at the very end of the series and stuff like that but also this episode target. Sorry i was just gonna say at monse unique in the fact that it only has one big bad. Yeah please more of that. But i willing say that this This episode of did you definitely had me like less concerned about the ambition quality because like remember watching on i was like. Oh yeah ha. This is so much better but this episode was like really nice. It might've even the clearly sensing budget on. Yeah and this. I appreciate it. Looked like any other animation. That's coming out this year like the shots. Were all beautiful. Even when we had far away screens the characters didn't become like blow job search distance. They actually looked like there was actually some perspective put into the drawing besides just like oh they far away. Let's make globes a The animation just was just so nice in this. The colors will great these of reds and oranges in contrast with rebellions green. I just. I'm really appreciated that. It does look nice Any of the hallet's no okay Lot time it was precisely derivative. it could've been episode twenty-five this being i. I still wish that the war grain on episode had rebellion or organ. Rather come back. And i think we said very early on the ogm on up in the evolution to wo- on a whiz how we kind of wanted to go like we wanted h evolution to kind of have the same sort of characters in the same sort of fame's that the evolution before it had so i still kinda felt this could could have been earlier on. I felt like episode. Fifty four for fila is really weird. Especially a filler episode. That doesn't give us a new evolution. It doesn't give us any growth of a character. It doesn't give us any information about the great catastrophe it just. It felt like a weed place to put a completely filler episode. Like at least that the other episodes we have evolution so we have. I would assume lamont to royce next episode. So it's mostly going to be fila next week but at least evolution episode. I don't know why we go. This film episode. That doesn't have any we don't lent like talk. He doesn't become still touchy like you. Assad is to cite these episodes. You could completely take out of the shore. Yeah no it is. It is one hundred percent pillow and that's not necessarily a bad thing but it is a it is a shame when when the really high points of the series are not also like plot important. Yeah like in contrast with episode was the one with no him like about five episodes ago where it was also just like talk has an adventure. It could be at any point during the show this episode like that. That was kind of weird This one is better than that but at the same time it feels weird to put this as as episode fifty four year. Like crab showed left real weird that you don't have enough of a plot to support its own weight at this point. Yeah it does affect catastrophe. Learning the ultimate thing. Yeah we're gonna do human instrumentality. We have ten episodes to stop it go it. Which is i just feel like the great catastrophes going to be super generic. Like just going to be i mean. I'm almost alex. But we'll just a puck loans going to be there at this point fully. Expect like we kind of know what they look like because they were on the device toy and it now gives them look like a mona but both cold question. Mark question question mark i. I'm just. I just kind of can tell how the endings going to go. I think it's just going to be a megan moon omonia. Yeah i won't be real shocked by that. I i honestly still expecting them to post poll. Some dimensional weiming out and just be like yet but it's the same apocalypse on from original adventure. Betcha didn't see that coming. Something like that happened in the first tamers movie with that was just like a bad guy that was from the adventure universe and you'll super salty to be bayton who remain almost just what try was to. Yeah we really liked pulling that particular rabbit out of a hat and get to be there out. All be honestly pretty surprised if that's not exactly what they do at this point which is fine except that. I don't think it's going to be done very well ever. Oh no no. I do not have high hopes for the rest of the season like this season overall has been fine. It's ac- midas it. Passes i guess. Oh yeah it is. It is the same honest. It is something that is fine. Like he'd passes and some episodes are really good but yeah but if you know if there's anyone who really likes to save in that's great. I'm glad they like it. I just personally. I think it's fine. Any other lowlights. This episode could have been about anyone who wasn't taichi and it would have been just as good and or better better off. Not better. I i would. I would actually disagree. I feel like because tachi had that relationship with artem on. He's the best character to be putting this episode. I sort of agree. But i almost wish that it had been he curry just so that he curry had experience with someone. Especially if we're gonna make characters not feel aware of the shared history either. The kind of point added even though it's kind of most of the viewer than for taichi touchy just like nah copy which is a we stance to take on it yet. But at the end of the day definitely doesn't matter the to each other that they interacted again. And i'm like okay so if we're going to do that why don't we just have it be with another character who can bond with that same character in ways. You know what i mean. It's definitely whose line is it anyway. The show because the points don't metal. Yeah like it's just an also. I wish they short. Oh yes and sometime. Maimi does matter which is great. I appreciate that that. That's a good tax to have on a show. He does matter. Because i i have high hopes for the next episode purely because it's a mamie episode being ninety percent good. I'm still on the fence about the gemstone. Also that the me episodes tend to also have good animation so the same animators. Yeah i done without lots i think. So he's so onto favorite character. I'm going to put down on. And the reason why organ will not rebellion on is because i chose oregon episode nine and because they are the same digital and i am going to put him down on again instead of his own separate digital. But that's just my own personal opinions on it Eve who is your favorite skokie. Chemo's good at that. He's that he's a very valid choice. A queen i am also going to say cuma donald choice and chloe. I think he might be taken joining the chorus. Yeah it's gonna get nice. Fail like coupons. Picking herself on now. That's that's that is a that is a legitimate that it is legitimate choice for yeah it's good As full ratings out of five. I gave us episode two point five. It's it's fine. I really like the animation. I like bits of it. But it. Just i don't it. It just felt we put in the series and that was kinda putting the off a bit. Even i made that argument last week. So i i mean i have the exact same opinion but i guess i just didn't feel like it was that big of a detraction for me like agri that like my only real criticism of it is that it came. It comes at a weird in the series. But i was going to give it like a four point five. That's fine. i just personally felt like and into toms. It was a little bit boring. Like was a little bit but would i was kind of changing the type of really sit down and have tea and so many flashbacks. It was a lot of flashbacks like this episode. I feel like this could have been like a hof episode and then we have like another half. We could surely be like. He's a kosher is hanging out learning about the great catastrophe. Have this episode. This episode happening in cochrane learning about the great catastrophe also happening. Yeah or. I don't know looking for her kids desperately now have what the cost of the plot. Is this great animation. Though like if the time that would have been spent on those shots instead spent on a bi plot. I feel like i'm okay with just one episode. Gnarly avenue be blah. It just felt like it just felt so strong it felt like it felt like it was just slowed down in some parts like it felt like barron to flashbacks. Sometimes we would just looking at staticky like when the animation was incredible they will just like kind of like grainy static images of like cumin. Cuban was retailing history with the area and rebuilding on so a tons of just felt like a was a little bit slow. But that's just how i felt about it Ev what was your raining. I'm gonna give it three. That's fair and quinn So you know at the start of the episode. I was briefly. Considering as is a five. But i think i have been talked down to. I'm sorry that's fair. I mean that you made some reasonable points that affect like i have. I have some exuberance for this episode. Because it's very cute. End up better than we've had in a while he's cute it. It is definitely cute. And like i probably would've loved probably would have given us episode of four if it was a decent time ago but i couldn't stop thinking that it was just a weird place four like they're six episodes in this show. Apparently we're word episode fifty four. I agree that we awful and Yeah like episode. Nine was when john was hanging out by the way suit for reference in episode nine. I gave a four. Av gave a five and you gave a three. Wow so yet. We will pretty sold on that episode. It was a good episode episode. Ten was like i gave a one point five so so tim was bad anyway So chloe what was your rating kind of said for. I have initially. I think i also more or less been knocked down to a four other than but there were none of us not something. You don't have feel bad about that. We just dog criticisms. I hadn't really considered initially which is good. Yeah yeah so that means that it gets nine point five which means that it is the same level as episode forty and episode twenty seven. And i don't want episodes. They also i have to find them on my I've defined them some way so as an episode forty which was off. Strike the killer shot. I don't know this episode was better or worse than strike the hiller shot. I watched that episode because it had trophy on anyone else have any thoughts. Oh wait that's all we saw and it was sora getting would say this almost bad degree that this is say okay. You'll think okay. I've been outvoted. I will put it above episode. Forty and i have the we all saw that means that this episode easy in thirty fifth place so just between episode twenty four. The final stage done debbie moan and episode forty strike to kill a shot in terms of where i put it in my ranking. I put it in a pretty similar spot. I put it in thirty third place. Eighty where we pudding episode fifty four in your ranking gonna put a third place. I don't know somewhere. I don't have like east. Thanks bye ranking. So i'd like between to different. She said if they out work. Okay i'll put it in third place. Because that's just where i'm putting in. Its between episode forty eight. The attack of mcgann's one episode. Seventeen the battle in tokyo against wrote shimon. Sounds about right and quinn. I think i'm gonna put up above jog amman's potato hill which is thirty nine. Wait thirty nine place. so episode. Thirty nine episodes thirty nine six eight nice places a bit low he. I was thinking that okay So i will put it in. That's in twelfth place. Then okay thank sounds about right on key cookies. So that is in between episode. Forty five in episode thirty nine for quinn and that our our those around writings pun. Maybe what is it okay. It's probably had more character development than titus. This is true. Pull you probably had mallkajun development than like moist of the characters molly molten seora more than thawra more than joe mooney cari Honestly i i love maiming. This in a season. But i don't think she's really had so much character development. No no. she's just had a lot of character at the cam character. She's just had cara character. And that's fine. i. I don't really think i can say any of. The characters has significantly grown as a person by the end of the series. Yeah but they will just flawless at the stop. Tucker i think a bit and even acura stopped wearing masks to not to a human. And maybe joe because he announced instead of like he went from like no wanting to do this because he had to study to spitting straight facts. That people got a second note. Which i'm i'm fine with that Court khosro i guess has been fine is at exposition but at least that's something towards lowered i again. Yeah do we have any other miscellaneous stoltze freindly onto comments thank. I haven't because on the something. I wanted to bring up by. Well if you remember please let me know so onto our comments on youtube we have dormant seven. Who says that this episode come with a trigger warning and then they wonder how this would be censored with being entirety or just in mind. Bits even came to The north american audience. And like. I don't know i feel like they would probably send a bits of it like it would be more like you would be more like maybe using it as as in. I like the way you you'll use feel against my skin but that's also kinda creepy but more like a. He is a loofah rather than he is. My wife like feel like you could change waiting to make the dialogue. A little less creepy. But honestly i just try to skip the whole episode of i could consider all the digital vice ping wake you. You just could next. We have daniel. Who says the non-consent aside they think there was some wasted opportunity in showing how the distortion with the human world. Modest kohl's conflict in this episode based on what town said. They said they can save some black lightning striking the ground and moving something into a tv with a period drama playing on it and watches it curiously and is struck by lonnie that moment causing to a both to thomasson gecko on and then it could have been a or remind kids not to mimic what is seen on tv. And yeah that. That's a great idea that would have been. That would be really good like that would have made the episode episode. That happened yeah could have had a little bit of a twilight zone. Feel which will include no i. I agree that still wouldn't have made the entire so good by any means but at least it would have been a cute little twist on the episode. Iv and i felt like that was the way that that will going when tilman said that but that was all that was the only. I guess we're just supposed to believe that. But you know you gotta you gotta show me not just sort of vaguely suggests that might be the case and also Oh yeah also the human world just did somehow yeah next we off mortgage who says they don't think the rise have to explicitly state sexual harassment. Bad can get him almost villain who got hammet spot in the end. Joe wanted to rescue. Go on and go most clearly uncomfortable. Children can figure things out in a capable of empathy connacht against the notion that he should have been banned from the hot springs. And i think that. Like i feel like people should be told that because otherwise they they may not be able to work it out that it's a bad thing they say it on. Tv like children and people literally. Yeah chd by guy. That's the like. I were supposed to sort of imaginary degree of shock. That just lasts of really long time. Welcome ahmad is just abuse than yeah. It's very uncomfortable. that dissimilar from i'll say this of at mon- We just had a character deuce torture and for that time. That was a plot point. Yeah that happens but I feel like. I'm i'm just remembered of the johnny bravo episode way. He is transformed into a woman and then realizes how hard it is to be woman in hell like you kind of get sexually abused sexually assaulted in various different ways and then he starts cooling out on that like i feel like that was a good way of handling that sort of thing because a lot of johnny bravo was him. Kinda just being creepy and in Dan that was that episode and that was pretty cool and also. I think there was like an episode where he was in love with the or something but that that show i feel like was wild from what i'm not entirely clear how we got Onto the topic but yes. It was pretty wild and i feel like the it. This episode could have handled in that sort of way with icon of coal out that the being kind of creepiest bad yet. They had multiple points even just like a little. Bit in. Gym on analyzer. Could have done something for us to say like In salem moon they always had the the lesson of the episode and it could have been remember kids sexual harassment. Bad like that kind of that kind of thing instead. They next walkout. How cool that got. The show gecko Whatever they once welcoming spring. I still like kabuki mon go q. Almost pretty cool. yeah anyway. Next up we have black knight lawn. Who says the music in this episode reminded them of semra shampoo and really did feel like did at kobe Should be in this episode as well. Then yeah i. I agree Any other thoughts. I mean a couple of here but now they're getting within I i have. Noth olds hit empty but also animation. I just. I just want to stress with the animation. Listen this episode somewhat. Even those kind of negative on this episode Mary pudding is really good. All right everyone sir. Thanks for joining us. This time you can join us next time. The episode fifty five the digital school under attack. Do we have any predictions. Did you will be attacked bunch of mommy. Moans going to be there. It's going to be hype. Because i like bond. Her mom avon is gonna hit home for americans. I mean at the moment. I'm going to negotiate with the school. So i'm hoping for some you know worker solidarity next week but i'm i'm sorta doubting it. I mean we could because we have mamie and that's kind of like we had that convened in new orleans Holiday episode unionized. The teachers but i feel like i think it's going to be absolutely is. Yeah i just. I hope that we don't get creepy digital analiza. Yeah yeah crucial. Please don't don't we need like we need like a press circle just for him not to be creepy in rosemont. Just just say like all she saw powerful and pronouns are please do not perceive ohio. Yeah i she uses a the the prefix of Miss as mystery. God i love seeing you totten as suge. Yeah what a legend like did say they. They truly earn pride month. Anyway i heard the rosemont easy is not creepy like we don't do any creepy stuff towards roy's mon now. I like rose mon. But i feel like that. Sometimes i i could do that. Any juku physics. We get because they all jiggle physics. Seen every other time of had rose a savings was the worst. I want to not do rosemont at all. And it's i am expecting at least parts of the episode to the real bad. Especially after last week word. I i hope i still have faith like it would have been better. We bound shalini mumble. Because you can't really like make that we as much as you can rosemont. But i mean. I hope that the roy's morning saves was kind of sexualize because at least voice. Moans human partner wasn't adult she was eighteen. I really hope that we don't get rosemont being sexualize. He because maybe ten please please do not decided at was okay to lex laura so lou you that was still not okay. Yeah Do we have other predictions judge. Everyone's going to be my favorite cartoon. That's my prediction. Jemma judging jose which is you loved him on account of was say i run will report the no. No i get that. It took me a minute to figure out. Why air wasn't wasn't there. I seen judge. I've got that yet. I thought i thought you were saying like like jog. Amman as he in the potato one did mean something in the the next time on street. It's judy moan. It's as as g. g. as in your judgment grandfather now g or saint. Nah anyway so good game. No no no d. g. chan known no yamagata so the red bubbles description any more than just shit to you can contact us and stabbed at it. He can send us camped lesson transactional jam dot com or in comments on this episode on the youtube. And would wait it out on show. You can also fold a transitional toyota conference in lost in translation on Facebook instagram youtube. Where we're finally at ten thousand subs dropping subs. Because they don't let people don't like me. If i think i went up to ten thousand ten now back to ten thousand one so please do do do do the unsubsidized the sub. And just stay there please. Anyway so we have suggested on with will and we also have. You consume the later as part of the problem. Please watch my stuff anyway. So we'd appreciate if you review any podcast. Catch the us and if i see it our read on the show please let me know so i can find it so i can read it down the show. You can also donate to my patriot and that seemed inscriptions. Well in you can do that from as little as adult a month and that gets you access to lissa discord server. But they were high levels more awards such as early episodes roy episodes and more so check that out and thank you. Twelve counts pits posing on patron joe. Student raise his wall. Mrs fall on our own washy cheese on twitter today. Six call lisbon. Who is elected on. Tumbler nicholas met my on. Sam anthony keith. From gonul hunting one. Hundred hundred watt podcasts. Super hedvig twenty. Five magnus lucas jesse. Monzer a five patrick jason and great nookie you can also make a one of two nation on paypal and that's also found linked in description. It's paypal the ma slash all. You can also check to my coffee account which is k. o. hyphen f. I dot com slash adra. And of course thank you to queen khloe end. Ev for joining me this week. Quick wake me find you. You can't on dischord and on the mon- cast to and andy. Where can we find you of discussion among cast. Yeah a twitter. Actually s and an twitter at eighty peterman. And choi wake me. Find you on dischord not online cast. Sometimes the background of the monsanto's the back through so they providing the offer the laugh track and Hip so thank you for joining me to both my co hosts as well as y'all listening at home more out about wherever you are. Thank you for listening and we will see all makes one bob.

liam volkmann quinn rowdy grimaud wanna baba bob ammann sean grown monterey bellman killick rosemont graham Ed wasp Amman bain simoni ammika Monin derulo killick hill wolfgramm
Revisiting The Spirituality - Psychology Connection (Wellness Benefits)

The Finding My Psych Podcast

34:15 min | 8 months ago

Revisiting The Spirituality - Psychology Connection (Wellness Benefits)

"And welcome. We are so glad that you have joined us today. This is your host. Jared killick of the finding my psych podcast and If this is the first time that you're landing on our website. We are all things behavioral medicine and health psychology. We have a mission to make accessible many of the tools that you would probably have to go see a therapist for or a clinician to be able to to get and that's expensive As a clinician myself with a background in behavioral medicine and health psychology I am very excited about the work that we do here. So i look forward to Your feedback especially about today's episode so Ah last week. We did a two weeks ago but our previous episode episode number forty. We did a review of it was kind of our own reactions to an a netflix series. On a surviving death and it was no doubt one of our more popular episodes. I'm a little surprised. Because johnny and i were doing the episode together and i I certainly felt like both walked away from the episode film like it. Maybe was not as cohesive as we wanted it to be. I did some editing and kind of made it you know listenable but it was absolutely one of our most popular episodes probably in two ways. A lots of people went to downloaded and listened to it But more importantly. It's one episode that i got a ton of feedback about and in particular. That feedback was how the both of us have. I think what had happened. We'd gotten very excited. About our reaction to this new netflix series on surviving death and some of the both palatable pieces and the unpalatable pieces that were in the show. But we definitely glossed over the importance of describing. The kind of wellness outcomes are wellness impact of having some kind of spiritual practice or view. That there's more to life than just me or when i go Something lives on whatever that might be. And so i'm today. I just wanted to spend a little bit of time. A solo episode To cover that. And i want to cover it in a very specific way Going you know back to kind of empiricism. I wanna spend some time looking at really. Three articles with different outcomes of looking at this spirituality and psychology or psychological wellness Outcome and so It's certainly not one thing. I'm firmly against is cherry picking research to support my view so you will hear me cut of tease apart. A little bit of the elements. That don't necessarily agree with my my view about this connection anytime it's just my view that's called anecdotal. That's not science and science is designed to be able to Look at a topic review. A topic and really science is all about after you get. Some rain. salts in a study is asking more questions so any result that you get from the study is not final ever. That's what we're going to do today. I'm very excited about it. If you have feedback for me or for us. The funding my psych production team We would love your feedback and there are many ways to do that. I would say probably two are the most easiest The first one is just by email. Email us at podcast at finding my psych dot com and the other is a leave us a voicemail and text so in canada. You can call us. Leave a voicemail. Because no one's going to pick up. You can even tax to this and give us your feedback as well at seven seven eight seven six four five seven four if you are in the united states We have a phone number there as well. That is four four. Two two six seven three one zero two again. Either you can call leave a voicemail. That is extra cool because we could use your voicemail with your permission of course We could use your voice mail on a Upcoming episode and use that as a point of feedback for us to respond to or you can just under tax and we will use that in a future episode As well one of the to highlight. Before i jump into the content on spirituality and psychology is we do have a forum A community forum and this is the place where our users our listeners and readers of the articles on our website certainly gravitate towards and we will be putting up a new post in our community challenges for instance on an upcoming challenge thirty day challenge on a high carb low fat diet. We do encourage you to go there. There will be an associate article on it as well coming up in the next couple of days describing my own journey of trying that diet so we have all kinds of content there. If you want to post about spirituality and psychology you can certainly do that. It's very easy to sign up and look forward to seeing you there all right if you wanna get there by the way because i'm not really telling you how very well am i. All she did was go to our website finding my psych dot com and in the very top bar. You will see a tab for community so all right there that is okay so getting to the primary contact content here I do think it's time for me to maybe slowed my pace a little bit and talk about my own perspective and actions before. I dive into the peer reviewed literature. I would say. I'd like to divide my comments here. In the two places one would be a personal perspective or personal base my personal experience and the second would be kind of my clinical practice or clinical rotations So if i start with my personal experience. I think the first thing we have to be able to do is just be able to tease apart. And maybe draw a hard line as we possibly can between the concepts over the words of spirituality and religion that religion. If we start there is an actual. You know practice. It's an organized. Approach to expressing spirituality spirituality would certainly be the understanding that i am connected to others around me and a much. Less tangible way that spirituality is an understanding that my very existence is more than random and that it isn't just out of chaos in. The universe. Randomness that i exist that. There's something a little bit more going on. They're not in a religious way necessarily but spirituality really acknowledges connection to the to the universe to the cosmos to those around us to those who have left us behind in death and spirituality doesn't have to be religious. It can be how you. I just identify yourself and your connectivity to others and your relationship to what was the world like before you were here and then after so if you are in generally not always but generally religious practice with a few exceptions to promote. The idea of an afterlife spirituality doesn't necessarily but could so. I think that this distinction is really important. It is also important that i think when we talk about religion before i dive into my views of spirituality that a lot of the mechanisms that make religion work are very kind of operate and classical conditioning in orientation behavioral psychology. There are behavioral mechanisms. That are seriously at play with religious practice in particular. If any of you listening grew up catholic for instance so i'm catholic and that comes with all kinds of wonderful things and of course difficult things as well but in every catholic mass has. Interestingly enough has a has a very clear formula there are certain things that you say. There are certain at certain times as kneeling and standing at certain times. There's the priest will say something and then you respond back at certain times. It's all extremely scripted and predictable the other thing that's happening. Is that if you go to a mass tomorrow which has sunday that exact same. Massive spoken throughout the entire world per the priest gives her own in their homily their own kind of rant about society or whatever but it is the exact same mass. The other thing happens come so in other words it's predictable at scripted. And when you go your brain is primed and ready for that that makes it a very particular experience and the other thing that can happen in. The catholic church was certainly happens. In buddhism. for instance buddhism is the idea that sometimes there are some tools that are used so in this case. It will be incense catholic. Church uses incense also candles but in buddhism there's also incense it's often use and that we start to think or in a very kind of brain organic way associate the insensitive very specific scenes and experiences so before a eastern mass. There's oftentimes a tool. That's used to move incense smoke throughout the entire congregation of people. That are in the mass. I can still even talking about that right now. Smell that in my. And i can picture the experience. I was having an easter mass. Like fifteen years ago and it's a very pleasant experience is a very calming experience. It's a very. It's reminiscent kind of reminisced on things that were good at that time. The people i was with at that mass all of it. So i think when we're talking about religious practice. There's a lot more of that kind of behavioral psychology that the opera and classical conditioning. That happen that make that a robust experience the fact that there's opera and classical conditioning actually going on in that does not diminish its impact. I am simply just acknowledging that it's so tied to the organic makeup of our brainer hippocampus kind of stores those memories. It's next door all factory system in our brain and that that is what opera classical conditioning are all about. So there's religious experience. And i think it's good and never when i talk about spirituality versus religion. I'm not saying religious as bad. The trouble comes though is that religions don't agree with each other and various expressions of You know religion. Just keep it at that. Religions don't agree with each other. About what the generally purpose is in life and what happens to us when we die. And so i think that when we talk about spirituality and unfortunately what happens is some of us. Get a little bit Snooty and we use spiritual but not religious. We'll put you know. I don't think religion is bad and whatever you know gripes. People have about the kind of a catholicism as an example islam as an example. Or you know judaism as an example etc. They all disagree on things. And i don't care what people's view is on them. They have their place and they serve a very special purpose for the individuals. That go kind of saying i'm spiritual but not religious has kind of a way of saint. Please don't attach me to those other things. Because i don't wanna be want people to assume anything about me based on those attachments so sorry for the rabbit hole but i do think that this is actually very important distinction and that spiritual practice really is understanding that connection with us and others and the universe and what are our purpose tends to be. Religion is more maybe the actual practice of it in a much more organized an institutional way. I think that's very very important to my own personal experiences again. Say me saying i'm ben. Both both a spiritual person. I acknowledged that and i have a very strong religious background and my catholic faith has played a very important role for me. Even though i have some conflicts with it like how Gazer treated in the church like how women can be priests all those things. I don't agree with and but that doesn't diminish how i feel so i would say in my clinical practice that moving away from my own experience and my own thoughts about it clinical practice. Really the focus on spirituality versus religiosity is not the least bit important so when clients come to me and i start to venture into you. Know what do you think happens after we die this kind of thing or what. Place does religion or spirituality. Having your life when i ask those kinds of questions because i get to know somebody There's no doubt that i am not. It's not important to me which is more important to the individual that i think if someone says that. They don't have any kind of understanding of spirituality in their life. They think that it doesn't it is even real. I'm not even really concerned. As much as i might want to explore a little more and see if that's actually true so i would say the focus is not important in clinical practice. I do think though it's important to venture there with people. I think we tend to talk about bio psychosocial all the time that's holistic approach to treating individuals or conceptualizing their problems and we always in my view must expand that out from psychosocial bio psycho social spiritual because those four elements stick together right And and so. I would say Spiritual practice definitely equates to a broader support network for clients and spiritual and religious practice. In general what i noticed that as people talk about their spirituality and or religious ity ultimately what i hear them saying to me because certainly my job is not to promote either of those two things ultimately what i hear them saying to is that it helps them feel very very connected to others so i hope that makes sense. I think it's good to start with my own personal perspective. And i was to just kind of boil that down really really quickly. I have a religious pass passed. I definitely acknowledged spirituality in my life. I think it exists in. Everyone's life at some level. But that's not for me to formulate for other people. I do acknowledge their psychological mechanisms. That make this possible. Such as you know. The kind of opera and classical conditioning elements that are happening life in clinical practices. It's really important to give clients opportunity to discuss this issue to look for how it connects to their presenting problem and i would think failure to do that is a failure like i think we need to provide the space for someone to explore that without my own personal perspective or experience coming into it so if someone just says a spiritual i pretty much leave it unless i see a window to kind of try to pull that apart a little bit and see what they mean and i would just say there for clients for myself What i think people get out of. It is much more than what say the organized religious part of it might say. Is the purpose that really that connection with others is is what we need and we all know that now living in cova times that we need each other and the more that we try to do that in person in a safeway Certainly is better. And i think it's critical for mental health. Okay so i think it's important now that i jumped to these three peer reviewed articles and i do think that this is a really important work. My view is just scratching the surface. I think the way we test our view. And i think the way that we evolve our view on the way that we support others is informed. You know through research. And when i say research i i don't know why i have to say this but it seems to be a confusing point. Two people research is not necessarily something that can go type search term in google and find. I'm literally talking about the peer reviewed literature that's out there and peer reviewed means that people went and did a study and within your profession People have reviewed that as part of a periodical for its soundness it's quality and statistical methods and all of that so it's highly rigorous anyone who's worked in the publish or perish world completely. Understands this the first article is titled the relationship between spirituality purpose of life and well-being in hiv positive patients. I think this was a very very good article. In to my articles deal with people. They're either in chronic disease or kind of life. Threatening disease spirituality. Religiosity does definitely come up in these cases and If you're someone living with hiv or know somebody they thought about death more than you a whole lot and even though we have come a very long way with protease inhibitors and how we manage the illness it went from a death sentence to a chronic illness and as a disease It's still very scary to people anyone that's living with it so they actually wanted to measure The outcomes on purpose versus actual perceived Will being that person precede wellbeing is just kind of how am i. Lean oftentimes a measure of anxiety but outcomes on purpose. what is my purpose in life and does spiritual practice. Of course you know informed that in any way By the way before. I go too far all three articles. There is a link with a quick rundown underneath in the show notes at finding myself dot com for this episode. Number forty one. They did find something interesting. They say they found that spirituality was reported to be significantly correlated with purpose and so people that would identify themselves. As someone who expresses themselves spirituality whether worshiping rock or god or the cosmos or whatever. Breath -tarian. I don't know that'd be weird but they did. You know there was. There was a significant correlation with having a clear purpose in life so that is very different than perceived. Well being and what they found in this one article that there was a very insignificance low correlation. it's an insignificant correlation for well being Do have a look at this. I think that's very very interesting again. One must not ever cherry-pick articles to support their view. You find articles that say maybe not and this is maybe not so well being is this perception that i'm okay in my space and oftentimes that translates into Pity description of anxiety and mood and so they did not find connection in this particular article. The next article is titled linking religion and spirituality with psychological wellbeing. So there's that anxiety word kind of hidden in that language on. This is winning self actualization meaning in life and personal growth initiative Love the title. They covered a lot of ground. Maybe much But i think this is a really Excellent article Kind of in my three. And i enjoyed going. I really encourage you to go. Check it out yourself and in particular. What they did was they measured levels of self actualization a million life and personal growth initiative in other words me looking for growth opportunities in life. That's a skill that. I almost feel like i need to do a podcast episode on just that people who see conflict in their life for instance as a growth opportunity and they try to go after that as an example. The results confirmed. There was certainly importance of spirituality on psychological wellbeing again kind of think of that word of stress. And how i feel in my space regardless of whether it was experienced through religious participation and so really what this article helped us show is that it's normally predicted that psychological wellbeing For instance Kind of this examination of purpose really should happen more in a religious context because it's highly structured. The support system is fairly massive. Depending on how you engage engage in of course and it would it. Would it would be naturally thought that religious participation again. If you're a catholic you fully get the religiousness of the practice. It's just done regularly in script should actually help with all of these elements but actually they said that regardless of whether it was experienced through religious participation people showed this connection between spirituality and psychological wellbeing. Sorry very interesting so In no way should we ever be prescribing. People take up religious ritual and practice. It really has to do with Our views of our connection with others spirituality and psychological being being a positive outcome. But i feel good in the world and so the third steady also a very very good study but it looks at cancer patients. And so this. Here really is the rule of spiritual. The title of the article is the role of spirituality in the psychological adjustment to having cancer is not defined what type of cancer terminal or not whether what stage it might be And a test of the transactional model of stress and coping. That's that's just a mouthful. Go checkout article because it's quite amazing They explored the connection between kind of existential and religious wellbeing. So you can consider this. Existential piece is what. They're really trying to get their spirituality and emotional wellbeing in a quality of life and so spirituality was a certainly associated in this article in the findings spirituality was associated with less distress and then therefore that person's perception that their quality of life was better so so spirituality itself actually was associated directly with less distress about having a cancer diagnosis right and probably didn't matter whether it was religious or not and then therefore their perception of a better quality of life and being able to cope the findings sterling. The they went on to say that the finally findings suggest that spirituality particularly the existential component existential component again is how am i connected to the universe and this kind of thing and then kind of the broader plans for my life that i'm creating through knowing those connections Actually may be associated with reduced symptoms of distress in cancer patients regardless of life threat. So that is a clarification on my note above to myself that they didn't delineate what stage of cancer the person had. They must have looked at that. Even though it wasn't clear in the beginning of the article Because they actually looked at regardless of life threat that to me is just absolutely so very critical so i would say some general observations of these three articles. Please go linked to them. Check them out. Read the at least the abstract to see what's going on there They are. I think very good articles that fit to test our ideas about wellbeing. But i would say nothing directly in any of these articles. My own kind of feedback. Nothing directly looked at measuring physical outcomes. I think it would be very hard but i. I hope you see where. I'm going with this that it would take long time to study someone to actually show it. But for instance if you have you have a spiritual practice that's your own or you have a religious spiritual practice and that we see both anecdotally and in literature like these articles. These articles is associated with a sense of wellbeing. Least two out of the three articles and they're for decreased stress. I guess i would wonder about the health outcomes then therefore so do maybe a really tricky question would be if it can even be measured is do patients overall with a very particular type of cancer live longer with a spiritual practice versus those. That don't interesting. I'm none of these articles address. That nor could i find anything that really went there. Most literature also. I would say the these three articles most not all. Yeah darn close to it around ten years old and i couldn't find anything super recent and i'm a little bit surprised by that because death is the topic right now people dying of covid nineteen and i see people revisiting their spiritual and religious practice. So there's nothing super current. I i do think as we get past covid in the pandemic. We are going to be talking about this stuff a little bit more as seen in the pre period literature. But it's old and you re literature you know kind of research literature literature sense. Ten plus years is definitely considered old. You always find something much more current as a former professor in psychology. I can tell you. Someone handed me a paper with all ten year plus articles. I'd be a little bit concerned. But they didn't dig enough so i would say. All articles new reveal the psychological benefits of lower stress for the first article. Because again i think that link with wellbeing wasn't well established And i think certainly what went through. All of them was this importance of defining our purpose and life. And what is that purpose. is it to some some. Some very particular describes might say my purpose is to serve. God i would say that purposes much broader and maybe purpose is my purpose to be A good mother or my purpose is to be You know you know my career purpose could be things like that or helping others like you have a very clearly defined purpose about what gives you meaning in life and i think all of them point to that in as a clinician then the question should be less about once spiritual or religious practice than therefore about as how does that individual define their purpose and i think that is a very powerful clinical question that you could ask your clients or your self and what is your purpose. What drives you. Why do you wake up in the morning. What do you look back on and feel. Really good about Your purpose and the things to engage in what you do. Maybe the other points i always want to make and glossed over earlier but the big thing is in the end spiritual practice really does acknowledge our connection to each other and each other's maybe the point not spiritual practice as much that we really do need each other and that is a really good purpose in how we connect with other people For me my challenges. I'm so consumed by my day job working in leadership in healthcare especially right now with our pandemic that i've a lot of relationships at work and that's like a family in some ways you know struggle with and some you don't and you need more and i know that i need more. I need to continue to connect with my in laws as much as possible and Yeah as an example. As an example. So i tend to focus all my energies on work and work. People and i tend to spend my personal time as the strongest introvert. That i am is recuperating. But i know i need them. I know they need me. And it's it's a mess to to not really focus on that. That is really for me how i'm defining purpose i would say even if there is nothing after this life. You don't believe in an afterlife or whatever. If you don't believe in spirituality at all. I think what we leave behind is just as powerful so if when we die. It's light switch out. That's the end. We're done in one hundred years from now. No one's going to who start with. But what did we launch in life. What patterns did we launch life. What synergies do we create that kind of butterfly effect with our existence and that we have a responsibility to do did we promote love and cairene and harmony to those around us who then felt that energy and did the same did we promote hate and anxiety and dislike negative self evaluation because the people that do that spread that without knowing they're spreading it. What is our legacy we leave behind. I would say that. Certainly part of satisfying this question of spirituality. In psychology right guys. This was a shorter episode than usual. Cut up just short of thirty five minutes or so. I really appreciate the feedback. That you guys have been given you guys are giving us in our episodes. It's extremely helpful. We loved we would love to know what you want to hear. And if you ever want to participate certainly show. You're always welcome. We have guests on the show that share their own experience and their stories and the wisdom than they're in. And if that is you get a hold me. Podcast at funny mike dot com or the phone numbers above. If you wanna leave us Kind of feedback. And you wanna do it again. Vs phone The voicemail and text at seven seven eight seven six six four five seven four in canada and in the united states. Four four two two six seven. Three one zero to you guys. Thank you so much cheers and peace and light now.

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The Spark Guide to Civilization, Ep 8 - Sleep

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55:21 min | Last month

The Spark Guide to Civilization, Ep 8 - Sleep

"On evening in early december twenty eighteen the young ceo of crypto currency exchange reportedly dies while on his honeymoon in india. This data not announced to customers for another month and when they're told gerald cotton is the only person to hold the passwords to their funds. Conspiracy theories grow leaving. Some to wonder could gerald cotton's still alive honeymoon. Moving body all the missing money bo. What happened a death in crypto land. Available now on. Cbc listen and everywhere you get your podcast. This is a cbc podcast. Hi i'm nora. Young and this is the spark guy to civilization each week in the series. We do a deep dive into a single issue in society. Exploring how he's managed it over the course of civilization through technological innovation and design on this absurd from april of this year. I look at sleep. Birds do it. Bees do it even educated fleas. Do it everybody's sleeps but many of us struggle to get a solid straight eight hours of shut eye. Each night couldn't be that we're hardwired not to sleeping in a single block is a relatively recent thing in human history and won heavily influenced by technology. That's right we didn't always sleep or try to in one long stretch. Sure pre industrial human still got six to eight hours of sleep but but the structure of their sleep was remarkably quite different. This is roger. E kirch distinguished professor at virginia tech university and author of the book a day's close night in times past one of the most important books about sleep rather than aspiring to asleep straight through the night instead the long dominant pattern of sleep at least in the western world on both sides of the atlantic was segmented or by phasing give new meaning to the term night owl they slept in two chunks of roughly three and a half hours each punctuated by an hour or show of wakefulness. A shortly after midnight though. Certainly there were many exceptions. In the case of pre-industrial europeans generally They went to bed between nine and ten. Pm and that would also seem to hold true among non indigenous settlers in north america. And it was that just a reflection of the fact that you know people had can layer whatever and once it got dark. Well it's time for bed. No actually quite the contrary people remained up an about Well after dark so what would night slept in two phases. Actually be like. Can you describe how how the unfolding of the night would happen. Well you retire sleep for roughly three three and a half hours awaken not long after midnight you would remain awake for an hour or so and then retire once again for what was routinely called second sleep just as the initial period of slumber than my. Gosh i've i've i've found this Over a dozen european languages which when translated into english all read. I sleep okay. And so what did they do in that period between. I sleep second sleep. How did they spend that time. Most remained in bad especially if they had a chamber pot. The deduct necessitate either going outside to relieve themselves or in some cases using a fireplace. Believe it or not. What did they do in bed. They meditated they reflected upon dreams which evidence suggests clinical scientific evidence and historical evidence suggests they would have usually awakened from. And it's no coincidence in my view that this is one reason. At least of the channel to the subconscious that people had in the dead of night with no distractions in terms of noise or light. That dreams were taken very seriously really Up until the mid nineteenth century they would prey in fact of there were prayers to be recited at the time of your quote unquote first awakening. And then according to Several medical tax during the early modern period which typically refer to the era from the late middle ages to the industrial revolution in the nineteenth century. They engaged in connubial bliss. I say There's a wonderful french publication the from the sixteenth century by a physician By the name of lauren jubeir who explained at some length. Why in his view. French peasants were so prolific in the children That they had the explanation he offered. Was that a manual labor's coming in from the field or those. Who worked at home were usually so exhausted by the end of the day that after taking an evening meal they would Shortly retire to sleep. They had a no incentive given their sauce jn to engage in sexual relations but they did after their i sleep They had been asleep for three three and a half hours and To again quote jubeir directly the period after warns for sleep enabled them to enjoy it more and do it better interesting and is plausible. When you think about it a i'm not a demogra- firs certainly not a scientist. But i think the conventional wisdom would be that they're of fertility would have been enhanced by that previous period of rest from the spock twenty twelve. I'm the envoy thing. I'm a research physician in the director and founder of the center for steady and treatment of circadian rhythm. That making the first thing. I always tell patient is never look at the clock because calculating. How much recovery. You did that chief during a light. Sleep is very tough function actually. It's not linear function. It's the because you sleep four hours instead of eight that you just recovered fifty percent of your fatigue. Your recovered a good five percent of your fatigue because deep recovery function of sleep is to to mathematical. But i will convert exponential first thing. Your body does is duke slow. Wave sleep when you put your head on the pillow and fall asleep. Slow wave sleep so you recover. I saying that it means that the first part of your sleep is this much richer in recovery. Slow wave sleep then the second part. So don't try to calculate what's happening in terms of recovery. You said the alarm clock such that. It rings at the same every day because regularities extremely important to maintain the good what we call phase relationship or temporal alignment between your succeed him system and your behavior in your sleep period but then in the night hiked the clock the time. Do not look at the clock resist even if you get out of your bedroom. You're wonder around in the house. High all of the klux. Because what it will do will just stress you out in trees your tension and then even do we. We're not affected and very resisted listening to spark from your friends at cbc radio your young. Today we're talking about how our sleep habits evolved with the technology we've developed right now. My guest is roger e kirch. His work has challenged assumptions. About the way we sleep. He uncovered the pre twentieth century history of by physics sleep. the fact that human slept in two distinct chunks. Not one long stretch as we commonly do now so. When did we decide. If that's the right word the sleeping around eight hours at a time was the ideal that we ought to be. Striving for there are two principal reasons. In my view one was the rapidly increasing prevalence of artificial luma nation. Oil lamps in major cities replaced more importantly by gas lighting beginning in london at the very start of the nineteenth century. Twelve times is more powerful than a single candle by the way only then eventually to be replaced as we all know by. Electric lighting though wouldn't become widely available Really until the early twentieth century if then but it began at least to loom eight the streets of of major cities in the western world and more affluent households by the late eighteen hundreds. Why was artificial elimination so important. Well it pushed back the time that people want to bet for one thing and yet even if they were of middle class stock they still had to get up at the normal time that they had in the past thereby limiting the amount of sleep That day could enjoy if they were now retiring. Let's say at eleven. Pm rather than nine or ten thereby heightening their proclivity to sleep and by shortening their period of schlumberger for physiological reasons Their sleep became deeper Not as given to dreams it was non rem sleep. it became more compressed and consolidated. That's one explanation closely related to that. And i think of yet broader importance as a consequence during the industrial revolution. Was that Physiologically it altered our human body clocks. The presence of artificial lighting alters the amount of melatonin generated by our brain at alters. Our body temperature it all. Just the amount of prophylactic lacked in n short for a variety of reasons. Artificial insemination is very to how we sleep. But there's yet another explanation for why are sleep underwent this consolidation in the nineteenth century. A cultural consequence not a technological one or physiological. A cultural consequence of the industrial revolution among the foremost values in the nineteenth century were of efficiency productivity profitability. All of which sleep ran counter to sleep now. More than ever was disparaged or regarded synonymous lee with luther g in stead a reform movement. A little known about it trevor. She atlantic of european states popular in both called the early rising movement which effectively urged people to for go taking a second sleep. So that in the words of one london writer. If they were sufficiently ambitious they would quote unquote still march. Has she put it on those. Who were indulging their second sleep. In fact i think we still sort of have a bit of a judgment you know. There is an almost moral judgment of people who sleep in late. For example i think even today there is and if i may just briefly digress. There's some strong scientific evidence that due to what's been termed social jetlag trying to make up for our sleep. Debt by sleeping in on weekends is counterproductive and again. Let me emphasize is that. I'm a hundred day. But according to this Research which is widely respected the effect of sleeping in on weekends after adhering to a much more rigid schedule during the preceding week has the same effect as if You were just flown from toronto to san diego. But that said. I certainly don't want to a- disabused anyone including my shelf of the blessings of staying in bed as long as possible right who go to sleep. Get some sleep. Nobody can last night after night after night. We know how you feel all medical his pre. Nobody's ever died from lack of sleep before that can happen. And give you the rest and sleep that you need you realize it or not but you're worried you've got something on your mind when you lying there staring at the ceiling everybody that once in a while these days we have lots of apps for phones. We have waited blankets all sorts of things that are marketed as technologies designed to help asleep better. What influence do you think they have. Oh gosh if only i knew. I wouldn't invest money in the stock of these companies. My opinion of stash the more. We shortchange the sleep. We need today. Retiring for only. Let's say six hours as many of us do if that rather than seven or eight. The more perfect we expect that shorter period of sleep to be even though the fundamental problem is that we are burning the candle as the cliche goes at both ends and not giving sleep. It's do so how they react pharmaceutical products. Not that i have anything against them in principle indeed is suffer from sleep disorder for which i take a prescription drug but our desperation our belief that our sleep is so horrible in the twenty first century. has made the number of prescriptions in the united states. And i dare say. Were peculiar in. This regard skyrocket from as recently as two thousand to today moreover we indulge belief that if we invest in a swedish mattress for three thousand dollars. Nothing against swedish mattresses. I'm very fond of that country We will a further enhanced the quality of our sleep and then there any number of other devices You just touched the surface by talking about when it gets and then when we wake up sometimes more tired than when we went to bed. We bulldoze through the day by relying upon some of us. At least not just coffee or caffeinated tea but highly caffeinated power drinks as i gather. They're called and if we have a office we'll take a power nap. Yeah the solution is is much more simple in most cases certainly in those cases of not involving genuine asleep disorders and that is to a lot Seven to eight hours if not more time to getting a good night each of rashed so overall do you think we sleep better or worse now than we did back before. The advent of gas lights are 'electricity. Oh we sleep much better really never before in human history. Have we had reason. Let me it that way to sleep better if we are not. We are at fault by shooting sleep. As opposed to people three four hundred years ago who desperately craved and went to great lengths to help ensure a sound night's sleep and yet think of what they had to contend with innumerable perils of both real and imaginary forget witches demons forget even the persistent threat of fire and crime. Illness in that pre analgesic pre penicillin time could render a a night's sleep utterly agonizing anxiety. Depression of of which there is considerable. Talk these days the hardships of living in the twenty first century. Well that just doesn't compare to someone who literally hit the. Hey are you familiar impression that the hey well i have no doubt that it comes from those poor souls who were forced to lie down outside on nothing more than a bed of straw Do you think there will ever be a return to to buy phases or segmented sleep. I'm sometimes asked if if in fact that would be desirable. And my flippant response is if you are willing to reside more than three weeks in a cabin with Neither electric light or heat. So if you do that eventually your body's going to return to buy phase slave. That's what a clinical experiment in the early. Nineteen nineties strongly suggested but it does take at least that period of time one weekend camping out will not do the job. I say roger. Thanks so much for your thoughts on this monday. Pleasure pleasant dreams. Roger e kirch is distinguished professor at virginia tech university and the author of the book at as close night in times past coming up more in our civilization series with a look at sleep and technology spark producer. Adam killick wired himself up with a sleep tracking contraption to sea tech could help them get a little more shut eye and sleep scientists. Amy bender explains how technology can both hurt and help with our sleep. Quality burn on evening in early december two thousand eighteen. The young ceo of crypto currency exchange reportedly dies while on his honeymoon india. This death is not announced to customers for another month and when they're told gerald cotton is the only person to hold the passwords to their funds. Conspiracy theories grow leaving. Some to wonder could gerald cotton and still be alive honeymoon. Moving the body all the missing money and it was like bo what happened. A death. in crypto land available now on cbc. Listen and everywhere you get your podcast remember. Youngest is episode eight of the spark guide to civilization all about sleep next week. The series computing. The human brain has the ability to process massive loads of information while running on minimal energy. And some computer. Scientists think that could be the key to smarter and more efficient computing as we make things. We're building in these computer chips. One more similar to what the brain itself is doing it becomes more neuromorphic. It's on spectrum address dry daily the function by doing it based on the actual structure. That's next week on the spark guy to civilization. But for now we're gonna talk back in with our look at sleep as we heard. Sleep and technology have long been interconnected. The industrial revolution and the spread of electricity changed our relationship to the nightly news. But we also want to look at sleep today because let's face it. The pandemic seemed to have played havoc with our sleep whether that was due to worry lack of exercise or just the disruption of our natural routines so we enlisted spark producer. Adam killick to be arisen guinea pagan tryout. Some sleep tech high adam nora. So have you experienced pandemic sleep issues. Yeah i think. Probably like a lot of people. I real they. My world has just shrunk. It's gotten smaller and smaller. And so the things. I do in my own home. Have taken on a largeness. That maybe they didn't have before. And i just find that. I've been a lot more tired. Which doesn't specific make a lot of sense. But 'cause i've been less active but i have been tired. I have hard time getting up in the morning. And i've been waking up in the middle of the night pretty consistently and having to get up for a little bit and then come back to bed. Yeah for the first few months of the pandemic anyway. I woke up at about two thirty pretty much every night. I don't know if it was anxiety or just that. I was going to bed early because there was nothing else to do. And just naturally waking up in the middle of the night. Yes by physics sleeping disliked professor. He said exactly. I mean people have tried to get a better night's sleep for ages but now we have all this technology for tracking. What's happening when we're sleeping or when we're trying to sleep at least i mean. Obviously some people have clinical sleep issues that need to be diagnosed but like with a lot of those quantified self technologies. I kind of waver between thinking. They're giving us genuine insight and thinking that it's just giving us something more to worry about. Yeah i. I'm as guilty as the worst of us for that kind of stuff. Because i have a to sleep trackers and yeah a bit of a of a quantified self geek that way but even that has its limits. And i think i've hit them during the pandemic. Yeah so tell me about this gear that you got to experiment with for this week's show. Well it was basically like if you could imagine going to asleep lab which is usually in a in a building somewhere and yet you get into a bed and a technician would hook up all kinds of stuff to you like wires and electrodes and would be sitting narrow kind of watching you all night and listening to you. That's all that condensed into shoebox. Which has these transducers and wires on it that you hook up to your body and basically does the same thing that the sleep lab does but with the advantage of eager to sleep in your own bed right. Can you get this this this phone. Yes but there are some issues that they can't overcome. Which is that to properly attach electrodes to make changes to shave a beard beard going down the drain on the name of science and spark taking one for the team. Adam it sounds like there were a lot of steps involved. There were the instruction book at visible forty pages long right chest belt sensors on one team. He's just ordinary alcohol waves. These are electrode skin. Prep pads pretty cool. One thing i learned was it's really important to follow the instructions step by step because i missed a couple of steps at one point and then had to go and basically unplug everything and correct it and start over again beast. I hope this time it's facing the rate speaking the wrong cable into my stomach. Sincerest wait one. Then lastly shin. So what did it look like when you got all wired up I looked like a man who might not anymore be in control of his own body. Somebody wires and the pulse. Ox senators was on my fingertip. So i just looked like kind of cyborg just to describe it. This looks like i have sixteen electrodes connected to me. I have this thing on my forehead. Six out about three or four senators big plastic knob think two electrodes on my forehead. One on either side of my. I've got these kanye stuck up. my nose. got an electorate on my chin. I've got one on the bone behind my ear which i hope is an copy. My hair color can do this. Big chest unit. Looks like a t. bureau control and it has one two three four five six cables coming out of it and they attached to an electoral on my stomach. Well people can see picture of you. All wired up at cbc dot ca slash park. Yes they can. It's not the most flattering photo of me ever taken. But i guess that's part of the risk of the job on the tablet. And with that i will say good night and sweet dreams and i hope you have an easier time sleeping me. So what's all this gear that add on designed to measure anyway traditionally. If you were to get asleep steady you'd have to go into a sleep lab technician hooking you up with various wires and We developed a technology in order to do that from home and to be self applied so the person is able to apply without a technician. This is amy bender. She's asleep scientist and scientific director of cerebral health. The canadian company that makes the unit atom test drove. And what we're looking. At our brainwave activity we're looking at eye movements muscle activity Different respiratory channels as well and also leg movements in order to really figure out. Is there a sleep disorder. Going on these are all the channels required in order to determine the different stages of sleep but also are there breathing pauses during the night or are there leg movements that could be affecting person sleep quality. I see and why is an advantage to do this in the home. As opposed to actually physically going to asleep blob. There is actually a recent study showing that when you sleeping in a different environment. Your brain is more awake during that time. So i think it has to do with overall despite being in your natural environment sleeping in or natural environment is very beneficial versus going into asleep bob. You're not familiar with the environment. And you know you're your may you don't have your partner bugging which is a good thing but It's just a more more natural environment to study. Sleep that way. And i will say i don't know i'd love to get adams. Take you know it still. It's still not perfect. It it still having all these wires can impact potentially some of your sleep parameters. But we're really. We're actually interested in building. An even smaller model of what adam was using just because of that to make it even more natural without having a bunch of wires hooked up to you so adam how did it feel wearing all that gear to bed. Well it's funny. Because i opened the box. Eric got the box out. And it said you know. Allow yourself an hour to hook everything up. And i'm like seriously at our. And i think the first night it took me an hour and five minutes. That's in part. Because there's a couple of things i put on backwards and didn't realize until afterwards. Yeah it's it's a lot not compared to what i imagine. I would get if i actually went to a facility but mean still. I had this giant thing on my forehead and a tv neuro at size thing on my chest. And then i think. I counted sixteen different electrodes connected to my body and everything from down below my knees to my stomach to various places on my head. There was this weird. Feeling when i when i actually turn. The lights often went to sleep. That okay now. Is that weird phenomenon. When you know that you're being studied like this weird kind of but yes. I think i slept reasonably well. The thing that caught me was. I know that i came to near consciousness a lot more frequently or to consciousness a lot more frequently than i probably would normally just because i think i rolled over or i moved in. Something didn't feel right in. My body reacted to that in some way so because i use a sleep app bac i have watched. Basically the tells me and i could tell from looking at that that like there are a lot of kind of like a wave of wakefulness deep. Sleep in however accurate that is. I'm not sure. But i mean definitely suggested that i was coming close to being awake more than i normally given but otherwise it was totally comfortable. It's it is it's kinda give and take you know The wearable it's not as intrusive you know if you're wearing that on your head. Bursts is this is is more accurate. Because we're looking at brainwave activity so it's it is kinda give and take with accuracy and comfort i is when you're with wearing a wearable the validity of that but it is comfortable so yeah it's a challenge. So amy what did you learn about. Adam sleep habits and what he can do better well we. We did notice that he does sleep a lot on his back. Which makes you more prone for for sleep apnea events during the night. So you know we did. We did notice some stopping breathing during the night with his sleep. We have an interesting metric where we're looking at sleep sensitivity and that's based on when you wake up during the middle of the night. How long does it take you to get back to the deeper state of sleep and for adam this was this was slightly elevated and so it kind of makes sense with his subjective report as well You know just kind of coming up to consciousness. A few times that he noticed and we found that with his own p. nine this sleep sensitivity measure that he was at a kind of a moderate to high elevated state where his brain was. You know more awake. Then maybe maybe the normal person is there anything that you would counsel him to do to improve that You know it does look like it appears that he's stopping breathing about fifteen times per hour and so the normal range would be you know around five and so we have a slightly elevated of him stopping breathing so that would be something to look into for sure when it comes to the stages of sleep it took him a while to get into sleep Potentially looking like on this night. I know you mentioned one night. You were having a hard time falling asleep. I think my maybe the second night and it looks like it. Looks like it took you about an hour. Almost an hour to get into to sleep on that night and so that's slightly above. We want that to be under thirty minutes. And if we're looking at the distribution of stages of sleep normal amount iran's rem sleep normal amount of stage to those lighter stages a slightly lower deep sleep. We're looking at it. Looked like it was around five percents so potentially treating the sleep sleep. Disordered breathing may then improve the quality of the sleep boost the deep sleep the deep stages asleep and then also maybe optimized fat sleep sensitivity metric. Well adam how do you feel about what amy says about your results will. I had no idea that. I stopped reading fifteen times an hour. That's sounds a bit concerning. I know that my parker has said that i. I sometimes make kind of weird clicking noises. I don't snore. But i kind of like i. Guess maybe that's what she's referring to like. Stop breathing and then start again and it might be it makes. It makes a noise of some kind but So would you recommend. I speak to someone about managing sleep apnea. I would say is it. Is it impacting. Your daytime functioning. Are you tired during the day You know those are things where we'd probably wanna see sleep specialist for for these types of problems and i would say it'd be worth seeing sleep specialist to kind of get this further checked out. All right Adam thanks for being a guinea pig for us this week. You're going to stick around but you're going to be in the in the background recording us Thanks for doing that. Thank you and takes takes him. Who sent me that no problem. I'm nora young. They were talking about the fraught relationship between sleep and technology and how it can both help and hinder us when it comes to getting enough sleep right now. My guest is amy bender asleep scientist and the research director of cerebral health. Which makes a take home sleep lab in a box that aims to provide insight into sleep habits so emmy before we get into the current state of sleep research. How did you first get interested in the science of sleep as subject. I actually went to my aunt's sleep lab. She was asleep technologist at the time and was kind of at a crossroads with my career. And she said come on over. And i'll show you what goes on in the sleep lab and so. She hooked up a patient with electrodes. As i mentioned you the brainwave the eye movements the muscle activity the respiratory channels and then showed me what that looked like on the screen so how these physiological signals translated to what was on the screen so it was very very fascinating for me and i ended up going home calling every sleep lab in my area seeing if i could volunteer and ended up getting a job at the sleep. Performance research center as the sleep. Technologists there We're doing work with sleep deprivation. Sleep depriving people. One study was up to sixty two hours so two full nights without sleep and looking at their cognitive function and mood et cetera as it related to that and then just wanted to explore the science myself so i knew if i wanted to assess my own kind of research questions that have to do a phd and And now i'm i'm here at three. I understand that you did some research into Elite athletes and sleep. So what did you discover through that. yes so after. My did a post doc. At university of calgary where i was working with canadian olympic team athletes and we were basically trying to optimize their sleep and screen them for for different sleep disturbances and provide interventions on how to kind of fix those problems so it was very interesting work and i'm still doing work with professional athletes and elite athletes Still still to come here It's a part of my work that i'm doing currently okay. So is there anything that you can say at this point that they get right that the rest of us. Don't actually you know you would think i normally for a normal person. Exercise is hugely beneficial for overall sleep quality. So you get more sleep you fall asleep quicker you know just bury great benefits of exercise and what we found with the athletes. Is that a large number of them. Were having sleep disturbance which we were kind of surprised by and it it could be related to you know. I was working with curling team and they had a lot of responsibility. Some of them were working fulltime. They had training. They had families. They're trying to juggle all these things. So of course sleep would kind of get pushed to the wayside if if they're under time constraints so that that could have had something to do with it all of these things that these athletes are juggling but it could also be personality if you're an elite athlete. You're probably more prone to being type a. Personality which makes it may be more difficult to fall asleep or you may may wake up more during the night. So yeah it was. It was really interesting to to see more sleep disturbance in athletes as you know there's considerable concern that all the digital technology we have at our fingertips all the time might be disturbing healthy sleep. Can you talk about that. And what we know about that personally. So i have a wearable device that i used primarily for running. So it'll it'll kind of plan my workouts based on the type of race. I want to run down the road. So that's primarily. What i use it for and i know that this devices this particular devices inaccurate so i actually do not wear it to sleep. I do not track my own sleep personally on a day-to-day basis. Because i. i am concerned about the accuracy. i think these devices are great at potentially Helping with behavior change. So i think there are very good qualities with these devices but there is a downside to if i'm looking at the app and it's telling me that you know my readiness score is a forty and You know that could impact my performance. When in reality. I could have slept. Slept okay that night and maybe done better without the feedback from that information. So i think there are. There's definitely some utilities of wearables in general but it can cause anxiety in some cases. And i have a lot of people just messaging me. Hey my watch is telling me that. I got you know five percent remm and know what should i do when in reality. They probably got more rain than not. I'm sure people must buggy stuff all the time at parties. Right tell me what does this mean. So and then they're also lots of things that aren't really technologies but more like the habits that we hear about that can help us get better sleep. So what are some habits sleep hygiene habits that we can practice. Coin is light so light exposure. We're typically in an artificial environment. I actually just recently measured my light levels in my office and it was only out one hundred lux which is a measure of brightness and i went outside on a cloudy day and it ended up being fourteen thousand lux so a one hundred and forty times brighter. Outside and light is very important for regulating. Our circadian rhythms. And so. i think that's an important piece for people to know to try and get outside during the morning hours. That's going to help regulate our our circadian rhythms and help lead to better sleep. Quality at night is definitely a big one for people to take advantage of. And i would see another one would be having a good pre sleeper teen so taking some time to wind down. Not just you know working on email up until bedtime or playing on your phone up until bedtime setting a bedtime alarm about an hour before bedtime which is kind of a sign all right. It's time to unwind. Let's maybe take a warm bath or shower. Which has been shown to improve sleep quality. Help you fall asleep quicker ad in writing to-do list. Which has also been shown to offload those thoughts off your mind onto paper and help you sleep better. Maybe adding some stretching or relaxation techniques are all away for us to get better sleep quality. Because we're just relaxing our mind and our body and preparing for sleep. So by implication does that mean that our tendency to have our digital devices with us all the time like looking at social media before. Is that genuinely a problem. It's it's about the light exposure and it's also about the content that you're looking at so there is a bit of mixed results in the research. some some sleep scientists will say no. It's not really a problem. Other ones will say yes. It is an actually getting lots of light. Exposure during the day helps mitigate the light from our screen so the more light history. We have across the day the less that these devices at night are going to impact us. So it's a bit of a mixed bag. But i would say you know it's not just about the light it's about the content that you're looking at and if you're watching you know a show a murder mystery show or something that could make you more alerts and release cortisol than you know. It's probably not a good thing. I'm nora young in this time. On spark we're talking about technology and sleep. As part of our occasional series civilization. Changing technology has affected our sleep from the rise of electric lighting. Too late night doom scrolling. I guess right now. Sleep scientists amy bender. Our previous guests roger e kirch explained. How our ancestors would often actually sleep in two shifts sort of three and a half hours and then awake for an hour and another three and a half hours but the adoption of electric lights and the drive to greater productivity in the industrial revolution forced us into sleeping in a single block. What what do you make of that. There is some fascinating evolutionary research on that and that. Potentially you know it's not as harmful if you are waking up during the middle the night it could be a part of our biology and i think related to that too. There are krono tights so there are morning types intermediate types and evening types and that was actually a hypothesis. Was that how this developed was when we were. You know in in the tribal eras where we had to be on watch. Twenty four seven. That part of the tribe would be more of an early bird type while who were sleeping while the night owls would be awake and helping with the tribes so that there would be an advantage of having these different kinds of types. It's really really fascinating research for sure. any. We like to give our listeners homework from time to time here on sparc. So can you share. Maybe a couple of top tips for people to follow. That might help them sleep. Better get outside for thirty minutes during the morning hours and even better would be to go for a run. Do some moderate to vigorous activity outside During these daylight hours to help Set your circadian rhythms for the day and then also get that exercise to help with your sleep. Quality at night having that good pre sleep routine so establishing a pre sleep routine starting with that bedtime alarm will be really useful for people and then i hate to be the bad news but limiting the caffeine limiting the alcohol because we know those can disturb our sleep as well so you mentioned that the technology of these sort of off the shelf Wearable trackers can have some negative impacts. Are there technologies that you see the world now or maybe on the horizon a little bit in the future that are related to improving sleep that you're excited about actually at cerebral where we are working on. A wearable bat is measuring eeg activities. That'll just be almost like a bandied that you wear on on your forehead that will give us a good quality brainwaves signal in order to use some of these deeper metrics have the capability to do sleep staging but also do some of these deeper metrics like the sleep sensitivity scale etc and potentially pair that with an app that will help people figure out you know. Is this caffeine at noon. Really bothering me or am. I fast metabolism caffeine or would exercise in the morning or the evening. Be better for me and really try and personalize and individualize sleep quality. I think that's the future i mean. We have all this general advice but it works for some people in. It doesn't work for others so really trying to have a precise way of telling someone. It looks like these different activities are going to lead to better sleep for. You is really exciting. And what's next for you in your own research. Well we are We're doing a lot of work with Obstructive sleep apnea and trying to finot type. Different groups who may benefit from c-pap cpap device so it stands for continuous positive airway pressure and it's not adding supplemental oxygen or anything like that. It's just opening up the airway with air. See you wear a mask sometimes. Around just your nose. Sometimes around your nose and mouth if you are a mouth breather versus oral appliance versus potentially a sleeping pill and really trying to figure out how to best diagnose sleep apnea as well as how to treat it better because there is there is a big problem you know we do have this gold. Standard treatment of continuing continuous positive airway pressure but a lot of people don't tolerate it and just sits on the shelf so really trying to figure out who who would benefit from that and potentially for those who don't what other types of therapies will be helpful for them. Amy thanks so much for your insights on this. Thanks for having me. It's been a blast. Amy bender is a calgary based sleep. Scientist you've been listening to spark the show was made by michelle. Breezy killick samri. O'hara's andy nora young special. Thanks this week to kim. Casher and by roger e kirch. Ab bender and from the spark archives the end woven follow spark on your favorite podcast app. And you can find us on. Facebook and twitter spark cbc. I'm nora young sleep tight For more cbc podcasts. Goto cbc dot ca slash podcasts.

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#1644 - Failure Friday: Antiracism Interest Grows, But What Do Clients Want?

Side Hustle School

08:35 min | 3 months ago

#1644 - Failure Friday: Antiracism Interest Grows, But What Do Clients Want?

"Credit karma money has already given away over three million dollars in instant karma over fifty thousand credit karma members and counting and when you make a purchase between july first and july twenty third you'll be automatically entered to win one million dollars one million dollars right now. Visit credit karma dot com slash. Win money to open your free account and start winning instant karma credit karma dot com slash. Win money sign up for free and start. Winning instant karma that is credit karma dot com slash win money instant karma is sponsored by credit karma no purchase necessary exclusions in terms apply see rules banking services provided by mp bank inc member fdic maximum balance and transfer limits apply. Really important things you remember in business and life is what people want and what they say. They want sometimes different right. It's not as simple as just asking people. Hey what do you want. And then i'll find a way to give it to you. It's more like understanding what they want and then finding a way to give it to them so sometimes as well when you were dealing with more than one person like with a company there can be a lack of alignment because one person says one thing but then you discover. They don't speak for all the decision. Makers that's what today's episode is all about and this is part of our failure friday series. It's a collection of short stories. All about mistakes missteps disasters and of course failure often failure as a precursor to success. But i really wanted to focus these segments on what goes wrong and then. How do you respond and adapt to it. When that occurs. And just like a throwback thursday segment you will hear directly from lawyers who had struggled in some way like all of us have struggled. But they're being very honest and candidate and vulnerable. And i very much appreciate that. So they'll tell you a short story of something that went wrong. Today's comes from dr akila today. We told her story on episode. Seven eighty-one workforce expert creates empowerment consultancy. This consultancy focuses on workplace inclusion anti-racism. Which as you might be aware has been something a lot. More people have been paying attention to over the past year. We've talked about it here on this show a couple of times and as part of this process a lot of people have said well we need to learn more about this or are workplace can do a better job in this area. How do we do it. Well dr akila's business was perfectly positioned to thrive and grow during this time but fast-growth usually produces any number of issues. It requires you to make some more adaptations and adjustments. So let's hear how she responded to the need along with a particular leadership challenge that she faced as business scaled up. She can tell that story better than me. I'll come back at the end to wrap us up. My name is dr killick today. Founder and ceo of change. Today we are a organizational development consulting firm that specializes in diversity equity inclusion belonging an anti-racism and of course we do organizational development work to change management and restructuring. My company's been around for six years but last year. Twenty coinciding with the unfortunate murder. George floyd business sky rocketed. The demand was in sane so is able to scale appropriately. That was pretty easy for me. But the thing that i didn't prepare for was how we were interacting clients so when we bring a client on we have a meet and greet we figure out what they want and we provide a scope of work to what they shared with us and then we move forward with the plan project and effort anywhere from coaching to a survey focus groups and audit policy. Changes doing strategy. Metrics roadmaps you name it. We're there to do it. But the problem that kept coming up for us was that the leaders were not aligned with what they wanted with. Culture change diversity or anti-racism efforts and that would put serious delays on the work that we are providing and them as well as our internal timelines to meet the demands of other clients coming onboard projects. Just weren't finishing on time so we did collectively as the company was come up with guiding statements. What a guiding statement is is language of a future state of where a company wants to go so our goal is to be this anti-racist we wanna make sure this is a workplace of belonging. Whatever that is it. Something that all leaders can point to to strive to and to move towards. That lesson was crucial for us. Because once we do that either right before we meet with the client or at the very first meeting which we call a kickoff meeting that allows us to be more on time for their needs as we planned as well as how we can move forward with our additional clients that are coming on board but more importantly it's a phrase in a statement that everyone internally can use when there's moments of difference so they can be aligned to move forward to having more of a diverse equitable work environment that perhaps maybe anti-racists but definitely includes belonging and now more than ever. We all need to feel like we know that our can support us and we are happy that we can support them. ship station. Is the number one choice of online sellers and our number one sponsor for many years. Now thank you team prochet that no wonder one hundred thousand online sellers choose ship station. You can import orders from any sales channel ship with any carrier and automate just about any shipping task. If you're selling something online you need to ship more in less time for a lot less money. Use our offer code hustle to get a sixty day free trial. That is two months free of no hassle stress free shipping. Just go to ship station dot com. Click the microphone at the top of the page and type in hustle that is ship station dot com. The offer code is hustle and their tagline is make ship happen. Never confused a single defeat with a final defeat. Thank you so much. Dr akila for sharing that story so glad a lot of people are looking to her business. Just as these issues of workplace inclusion belonging she calls it anti-racism and so on are getting more attention as well as they should now. I like what she said about this. Guiding statement about this was really interesting because you could use this in a lot of ways you know not to take away anything from the concept of workplace belonging and inclusion but it could also be used just for yourself about what kind of world do want to live in in the future. What kind of world do you want to have yourself. What is your guiding statement or of course if you work in a team or company or organization know what does that environment look like. Ideally in the future and of course from their. What steps can you take to get closer to that so often think that way myself about like. Why do i want to have one year from now or five years from now. Not just have is an acquirer. But you know who do i want to be. What do i want to have achieved or experienced. And how can i then take those steps. I'm really grateful to dr akila for helping us out with the segment. Checkout her website at change today dot com that's spell by cadet so change c. h. a. n. g. e. cadet or day. Adt dot com or. Follow her on twitter at change today. If you've got a disaster mistake misstep a failure some kind of struggle that you want to share whatever it is come to school dot com slash questions wherever you are in the role to help. You're taking care of yourself today. I hope you do something to get closer to a goal you believe in and i also hope you'll check on somebody else because you know it's a crazy world out there. We all need all the help we can get with that. I'm signing off for the day. Thank you once again for listening. My name is chris gallow. This is side hustle school from the onward project.

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Older Runners, Common Injuries, and Injury Prevention (My Experience)

The Finding My Psych Podcast

27:53 min | 5 months ago

Older Runners, Common Injuries, and Injury Prevention (My Experience)

"One and thank you so much for joining me. Today this is your host. Jared killick of the finding myself podcast if you are joining us for the first time. We are all things behavioral medicine and health psychology so we cover all kinds of topics all about wellness and the categories generally are fitness. We cover even cover substance misuse. We cover how we think. Psychology all of these things relate to building kind of our our wellness buffer against the challenges of life and so We try to provide tools. That are relatable and tools that are accessible to the general public things that you might only get if you were seen a clinician in a professional setting so anyway today is specifically about kind of in the content area of fitness and i wanted to talk about running specifically i wanted to talk about. How are running changes as we age. i also want to spend some time then talking about common injuries That seemed to emerge as we get up into our forties in particular and so's injuries. That i've actually myself have experienced So a good case that he no doubt and then a little bit of time at the end talking about injury prevention So as you know if you've spent any time to Our shows you know that. I'm deeply passionate about running i promote running. It is an absolute approach to managing mental health problems. You've heard me talk about in the past my own struggles with depression and anxiety and depression in particular running has been one of these gifts that i've struggled with my entire life to actually be a runner. I'm still runner him succeeding at sticking with it and i really do stick with it because of the mental health benefits as it impacts my mood in particular so like this morning And i am recovering from injury. I went for a short run. And even that three point two nine k run or whatever it was it really has started my day off in the most amazing way. And it's really difficult to articulate what that is. I'm sure it's hormones. I'm sure it's some kind of biochemistry that i would have a hard time articulating in this forum. It's just doing all right stuff. And also just a sense of accomplishment and sticking with something and struggling through it and beating it so But as a runner. One of the things that i have noticed over the years is our bodies change and I guess i wish i would have taken taken running more seriously in my twenties and early thirties. Maybe because i think i would have a lot of advantages now if i would have done that Back in that time. We when you're in your twenties and early thirties. You completely take for granted. The physical challenges that you were going to experience later in life and i for instance one of the things that happens naturally throughout life is just this weight creep and as the weight kind of piles on You also have a hard time unloading it and getting rid of it. And every pound that you gain in hold onto actually makes running for instance a little bit harder and maybe insidiously and maybe not fully noticeable but it really does it puts more impact on your joints etc so right. This is our topic for today Just again talking about my own experience. common injuries that i have personally experienced and yeah prevention and i think that's probably the most important part of the conversation honestly something that we have to pay attention to more as we get older. So what does happen as we get older. So you know again. I noted just briefly their moment ago that When we're when we're younger Things we seem to heal very quickly seemed to recover very very quickly and as we get older. I think i noticed it right around forty five in particular. I'm forty eight now turning forty nine here in another month or so and i i would say i would say there's three things that happened to me. Certainly between forty five. And now that is it's it's freaky remarkable how much i notice that and one is just that we get slower and one of the theories behind this is that our our muscle fibers tend to get shorter in length and so that certainly has to do with how tight things get an that. Recovery actually looks like so therefore. That's the second one. That i noticed is that i live just slower. Same amount of cardio output in everything. It's just really hard to keep those higher paces especially in in long runs in particular but recovery time the longer the run the longer the recovery time. That's always a normal formula but it's just seemed to me like Recovery is twice the amount At that that that kind of joints ache a little bit more muscles. Acl bit more And so forth. And it's it's very easy i don't know any of you. Long distance runners out there know that one of the things were really good at as runners as just pushing through we are There's pleasure in the pain because you know that what you're getting out of it. Afterwards is so phenomenally. Incredible in terms of how you feel about yourself and kind of that endorphin rush etc that becomes a bit problematic and so Yes pushing through pain in pain caves and all of that is is a thing and you need to learn how to do that. But knowing the fine line between pushing through pain that's going to cause you actual harm or pushing through pain. That's just part of you. Know for instance psychological pain in particular part of the game of doing long distance running. That's a that's a funky funky lesson to learn and it's tricky as you get older so therefore than the certainly. The thing that i've noticed is the injuries that have gotten and the types of injuries that i've gotten In the last four or five years are different. And there's more of them. So i would say then you know what a pain in the ass you know i. I guess. That's that's kind of where. I conclude to a point here in my mind is is why persist with it if running makes you feel worse about yourself because you're going slower if the recovery time is longer which means recovering from a long hard run or a long run of any kind means you hobble a lot and you wobble a lot and it's just challenging And you have more injury which actually means pain. You know in fear and frustration. Why stick with it Well i suppose that that is really the most important question. Because i stick with for instance you know for first of all my mental health and that i've talked with a talk talk with you about i've told you about an disclosed very personal kind of parts of that for me and running his ben. This miracle thing. I'm not on any medication. At this point in my life i wouldn't say it's just because of running but i certainly would say ya Yeah it's it's just makes such a difference but it does mean that something you have to post you have to continue to do. You can't run once a week and that's enough. You gotta run a couple times a week or more and so then therefore the other thing of course. It just makes me feel better. Psychologically is it does. Help may maintain weight As a runner. I have gained weight over the years. I'm probably my heaviest now. That have been quite a while in four or five years. And that's just because i've really slowed down running mostly and certainly the kobe thing hasn't helped out a lot. I walk a lot. I probably walk ten thousand steps a day between eight and ten thousand just depends some days or lower. Because i'm just not into it. But you know my fitness is pretty darn good. Covert hasn't kept me from being out and about because i have to go into work and in my job. I'm on my feet a lot. But i guess the point is is that it it takes it forces kind of you. Cardiovascular lee and muscular school deal wise to such a level that that is what's needed to kind of maintain weight If i was to stop running altogether and just eat like i do now which isn't horrible On a vegan died in particular. I i would gain weight if i stop running. Running makes sure that. I don't continue to gain To lose weight running for me. I really gotta push that extra bit. I've got to be training for something. I gotta be running ford at least forty k. A week to really see a difference like it's a thing but wait managements it's a it's a tool that actually works with amazing mental health benefits okay For the sake of rambling. I'm just gonna move on down to the common injuries. That i've noticed i would say i don't know if anyone i'm sure this is written somewhere. I'm just going to tell you what my thoughts are is that there are kind of younger runner injuries and then there are older runner injuries. And i know that this is not a black and white. It can go both ways but like an example. I can think of you hear a lot of new runners talk about like it. Band syndrome Illegal till band syndrome which has just come on the lateral side of your of your knee of your leg on. That's that's very very common for for new runners If you are like stress fractures can be kind of any age. And certainly that gets worse. ossification and all that is a slower process as you get older but you definitely hear a lot of younger runners with stress fractures. Because they're just going their body hasn't yet learned to tell them to slow the hell down and to not do so much because they've got all this energy and so i know for myself i had suffered probably the worst heroin fracture that hadn't forever stress fracture. And so when. I was young and haven't had it since i've really built. I think some really strong dense bone Over the years as a runner and so the course the probability of that then decreases But there is a couple that i notice definitely more now certainly osteoarthritis. Now i have a little bit of osteoarthritis in my right knee and that literally is just. It's very common with age regardless of being an athlete or not But it is the breaking down of cartilage and so when you breakdown college of course what can be left. If it gets broken down to just bone on bone that is very very very painful and so osteoarthritis is not just a complete wearing. I mean you. People have something there but it's just degenerating and and college is really tricky. Because it doesn't he'll really well because it doesn't have a ton of blood flow and so so any kind of like cartilage damage is pretty progressive in nature. And you you really have to pay attention to it. A lot of it has to do with you know kind of again frequency. It's repetitive use injury. And it's also just a normal part of the aging process regardless of physical activity one. That's brand new for me. And i've just started to deal with and thank god. I have a super mild case that is a plantar fasciitis. Holy shit. I have heard about this It is super common runners in their between their forty s and sixties I have never experienced it. And i got a small case of it and i mean a small case which means it responds really well to some of the prevention stuff that i'm doing right now But one of the things. I told you at work. I walk a lot and one of the things that's happening is i for years. I've worn xanax. If anyone knows what a stanic sacks shoes are they are super flat comfortable very vegan friendly because they duke cloth. I don't think they even newsletter. Maybe they do in some shoes but most of this stuff is is very vegan friendly. So i really loved them. They're like flats and I walk a lot at work. And i picked up my walking quite a bit starting in february and early march and I noticed about three weeks ago. This very stabbing pain in my Bottom of my foot the fashion of the foot. So if you don't know what. The fashion is connective protective tissue. Between the front of of he'll all the way to your toes and it's it's very necessary very hard to stretch Kind of like tendon. I suppose Kind of Kinda tissue that design to be protective nature but depending on near some people with our feet had to have more problems etc. Don't have flat fee. Didn't have super high arches but those shoes are super super flat. And when i break breakdown. Pretty quickly i go through a couple of pairs a year because of the amount of walking that i do and there's no doubt that i've beaten those shoes down but when i put those shoes on now when by the time i get to work and start walking around town to do the work that i do Boy quickly quickly do my feet hurt and On the bottom of my foot is quite worried because it wasn't going away and I just didn't know what to do. I've never gone to a physiotherapist And so i was kinda thinking maybe that was the next thing to do. And then i watch physiotherapists online. Think the guys are bob and dave. I can't remember but they're hilarious. They're good and they have a couple of videos at least on plantar fasciitis And i did some of the things that they suggested and bang. Wow completely different. In the morning. I was unable to put any weight on my left foot was really bad. I even post marathon. I never remember having that kind of discomfort Anywhere my body. You couldn't do something. It was just sore anyway Plantar fasciitis is one of these things that we you start to see a lot. More population people in their forties and sixties discount of two decades is where it seems most I'm sure there's data. People in their seventies or eighties is just not a lot of runners at those age groups so so osteoarthritis again very very common natural part of aging in general For people that are super physically active Definitely can be spent a long. Running is one of those things now. I could get a lot of kind of hate emails on this. Because i see lots of video or you know i see a few videos here and there on youtube kind of proclaiming. That running does not hurt. Your knees and running actually doesn't hurt your knees that you can. You know running actually builds tendon and muscle around your needs protective nature. But the fact is any kind of major Joint whether legaments and all of that connecting. there's no doubt repetitive. Use does degrade the area. There's just no doubt It breaks down over time. That's just natural. Normal physiology and our bodies are amazing at adapting college in particular super vulnerable. Because there's not a lot of blood flow in college to cartilage and so Healing takes a really long time. Anyway i can go on and on. But i would say osteoarthritis plantar fasciitis are the two. I'm gonna call them are forty plus injury areas. So what do i suggest at this point prevention and. I'm going to say i am probably the worst all the things i'm going to tell you about in terms of prevention but after having this small problem with plant fasciitis i am definitely a believer and i am doing everything. I can moving forward to everything. I'm going to tell you. There are six points here and they are both physical and say cognitive approaches mental approaches attitude approaches to fitness and running in particular so in terms of prevention. These are the things that i came up with just sketching them down today on my ipad preparing for this thinking Here's what i need to tell you that i have learned about prevention. That may have preached in the past. But i was a liar. So stretching first and foremost. I have run for a very long time and i have rarely stretched in my life rarely so With the plantar fasciitis. I learned with these two physios Online i learned a couple of stretches and deep massage techniques for the bottom of my foot that literally fixed it overnight absolute that i don't have a horrible case a plantar fasciitis but yeah it literally fix it over and i'm going to leave a video of how to manage plantar fasciitis in the show notes. I forget please someone emailing oh email it to you. It is but stretching it is key and plantar fasciitis doesn't happen to be as it's being articulated in some of these videos is not a foot injury but a whole leg injury kind of system and how things cascade up through the achilles tendon and the calf etc and even the gluts so treat this as a system actually it was it for me to treat as a system was a a miracle. There's no meds i was taking. I wasn't even taking anti-inflammatory tories because those hurt my stomach. So i can think for. Prevention is certainly good nutrition. we all acknowledge. Nutrition is super super important. Now look Some of my virtue signaling vegan friends are probably say ito vegan diet. That's good nutrition. Well da and it is. But i totally think that as a vegan one of the things i push back on his anecdotal accounts being used as preteen sites so You hear a lot of vegans talking about how even a vegan diet improves recovery after strenuous workouts. And i just don't have not seen the actual data my own experiences kind of like i don't really know um i know that recovery is a pain also know that if you eat a very crappy vegan diet there what benefit be So you can eat a very unhealthy vegan diet potato chip diet for instance and tell me how that is. injury preventative and promotes healing. Of course it doesn't so I would just say good nutrition and that just means eating a super well-balanced diet weather whether you're a vegan or not you know. I think that the vegan diet is amazing for so many things But we must be careful how we cherry pick the data and information around us. I'm not here. i'm never going to claim that injury. It both prevents injury and improves recovery. Time i just don't see it For me it's I'd have no. Hdl in so it definitely improves. You know kind of that for me by not consuming animal cholesterol. That's that's my personal thing. Do i do it for the animals. Yes partly but it is not my primary only. I should say singular motivator. I'd say lots of things. Motivate me. I would say that In terms of my running and endurance running. It's i think it's made a difference in terms of how if i have a healthy vegan diet and how i focus on the types of carbohydrates non soluble fibre. And that kind of thing. My diet like how much that can help. And how you balance fats. With that. But again i good nutrition. You define good nutrition for you about tell you what if you're telling me you're eating out at mcdonald's three times a day that's not good nutrition. Even if it's the salad so focusing on duration over speed i would say this is also a good prevention activity. I'm limited training for something you know putting in some speed workouts or temple. Workout certainly smart That can improve Kind of your duration so to speak. But i'm an also helps with weight loss that kind of interval training but i tend to make the most minor part of my when i'm trained for something big. I tend to make the most minor part of my Workout schedule maybe. One speed session or hill session. Which does technically the same thing in. My mind is really getting heart. Rate heart rate way way up and then recovering quickly and then do that multiple times. Duration is certainly the way to go. So if you are as i've been running for the last couple of years a slow turtle with more of a shuffled in iran that is brilliant It definitely promotes healing decreases recovery time and makes the experience enjoyable tour. You want to come back to it. So focus under over speed in terms of your overall plan number four. Don't be afraid to see the doctor. This is my problem. I still haven't seen a doctor on any of the things. I've talked about With the exception of. I'd do have some pulmonary problems. I have asthma And so i do take some medication for that which is just a puffer as needed. But i i would say. Those are not full on physicals. Those are not full on experiences of the doctor talking about injury and prevention. I think i need to get over that. I think i need to see a physician. I think i need to see a physio to be able to maybe nail down some of the learnings that i'm getting and and look for some exercises that are going to help improve my running over all so number four. Do not be afraid to see the doctor. Five cross train I'm also very bad at this. But when i do it i noticed improvements so even though as i pick up running for some kind of thing i'm training for i do try my best to continue to do a lot of walking in between it's very easy to fall off of that kind of activity during your normal day and have super peak activity and super low peak activity like not walking at all. Because you think you've earned it so i would say cross. Training is great. One thing i used to do that. I don't do much hardly ever anymore is Any kind of weightlifting in the gym or any kind of cross training in the gym. And that would be something that we know improves running. The data is clear on it and it also prevents injury so helps with weight loss to so so they're getting lift some weights again. I'm providing this advice because it stuff. I know that i don't always practice. Well sometimes not at all. I would say number six and this is probably the most important one. This is about your head space. What happens between ears and that is really. Just keep it fun. Not every run marathons training. You know it's very easy especially once you've accomplished marathon you start to think okay. I'm going to train. I'm going to sign up for another one soon. So you're always every effort has to have some kind of deep rich. You know meaning four as part of a training plan that you haven't even started. I think that that is a trap and you need to make sure that you just get there and enjoy yourself all right. Okay guys so. These are my prevention pieces. Say them really really quickly. Just like the a professor that i am at heart. Repeat everything you say your students get it that way Stretch good nutrition. Focus on direction over speed. Don't be afraid to see the doctor a cross train and keep it fun. I would say these are the things. Maybe i need to find an acronym that i could create out of all of that. That would be memorable you guys. I hope this was helpful to you. And certainly the feedback. That i've gotten from our listeners is people want to know about my personal experience and not just stuff you can pull out of a textbook and reiterate online And so while some of that is still very good material. people want it to be a little more relatable. I think this is what i'm going through right now. I'm recovering from a very mild fordham of plantar fasciitis. I am forty nine a month and a half or less and that's freaky by itself and as a run i noticed. My body is changing. I noticed things hurt more but the benefits of this outweigh any of that. And i think it's something we should be able to do to the day we drop and we have lots of cases like that. The people that run to the end. And that's too. I want to be the fact that i struggle with it. The fact that i go through periods of not at all in haiti myself or not. It's all really really good because it's important and trying to find something that's more sustainable than performance oriented. His hooper key. So that means. I can go to in a more regular basis not dread doing it and Also helps again prevent injury because some injuries can literally lay you up for months i full. I'm plantar fasciitis where there's actually kind of degeneration of the fasha in the foot can lead to yeah months and months off surgery. An inability to easily get back into running and build your cardio fitness again. That is the worst case scenario. So you can prevent it and i think this is. This is what i'm suggesting to you. These six approaches. All right guys you take care and peace and light catch up with you on a future episode soon cheers.

Jared killick osteoarthritis depression anxiety ford dave bob youtube mcdonald asthma iran weightlifting plantar fasciitis haiti
Review of Netflix Series, "Surviving Death" - Spirituality in Psychology

The Finding My Psych Podcast

42:42 min | 8 months ago

Review of Netflix Series, "Surviving Death" - Spirituality in Psychology

"And welcome to the podcast. This is your host shared. Killick joined again today by my lovely husband johnny killick. Hello hello and today. We thought what we would do is get together and review a series on netflix. That we recently stumbled across both of us. I've had a couple of weeks off. Johnny has had this whole week off and We have watched a lot of net flicks all the netflix. Because what have we not watched. Is the question if that's a good point. Yeah yeah and in fact when we couldn't find something desirable a net flex. We watched prime. Yeah which is which is a good backup. Yeah net flix. Yeah but netflix would say superior absolutely superior so we did stumble across this one show called surviving death That was i think six episodes which we will talk about a little bit but before we dive in To the content of the show and the the show of course as we want to review this show really bad ob surviving death. Pat both just kind of glued to each episode. Both like feeling like okay. There's some really good things being said here and also there's really messed up stuff being said here. Yeah yeah on the one hand. There was some like really spiritual. Yeah yeah anyway. So we'll get into it. We'll get into it but it was just so fascinating. I think it's rare that both of us Are like super glued to a show and there was a couple of times this week that that was the case and so i'm so anyways it was that show and then it was the other one we were watching as lit. Was that little fires everywhere. Something like that yet. With reese witherspoon and so we have to get through a couple more of those. Oh my god that's amazing show. Yeah yeah so anyway. We're kind of all over the map. Which is great to be. That's me. I'm but this is a show about behavioral medicine and health psychology and we are all things behavioral medicine and health psychology of today. We're gonna try to talk about spirituality within that context of wellness and health. And i think through reviewing the surviving death series. The really good thing as i think it leads to us. Just having a conversation about spirituality which is something you and i don't talk about much And i think finding places where that actually fits in the world of psychology and behavioral medicine so that's really the intent I would say if you have any questions or comments We would love to Certainly get your feedback and or additions to the content that we're leaving today then you can do that in many ways. You can just drop us an email podcast at funny. My psych dot com. You could dial a you can call and leave us a voicemail and there are two numbers for that one is year within canada. Because this is a canadian show where canadians seven seven. Eight seven six four five seven four you can call leave a voicemail at that number or at the us number which is four four two two six seven three one zero two and both of those numbers. You can also send us a text. If you don't wanna leave a voicemail. Send us a text. The positive thing though is if you leave a voicemail able to keep that content and plan on a future episode If you like and respond to it so i think it's be famous you'll be very famous. So with our millions of just think of notoriety and the power that comes with that just by being associated with us just by being legitimate so true true true true. The only other thing i think i would mention as a preamble is we do have a very active community forum on fund my psych. And so if you just go to the website funding dot com. There are top. You're going to find a tab for community on head on into that head on into that and we post various topics. We'd love your engagement. Really the ideas you for you to share your ideas and collaborate with others Depending on the popularity of this particular episode as an example may start a question for him in there about this exact topic for another place where you leave feedback very easy to register. When you jump on there you'll see how it all works. Yeah just another way to be involved in the funding community. Okay was that enough johnny Interest stuff that was. That was a good amount of talking talking. Yeah almost too fast. Okay efficient yes and the nice thing is i have a script and probes to remind me to go through all of that so It's definitely does not come naturally. Okay well i am going blind so i'm just going to wing it okay. My and that's great. Because again i type these these Kind of prompts up and you have not seen them before so that does make it a little more openness. Bob very is. He wants to be a part of this and is he always so surviving death. How did they bomb segue. Yes how did we stumble onto that show. Oh i think it was. Just it was in that featured section of netflix's like right at the top. So it previews like right on your home screen okay. And so that. I saw that and i just press play because i was like okay cool. That's new and i. I was waiting in counting the seconds Until you said no. I've seen that you hadn't just come out. Okay yeah okay okay and I think just to set the scene. It was we were watching it in the evening and afternoon evening yes For those who don't know by the way the cat bob. He's up now to get involved. Yeah and He's going to shoot him. Shoot off the table for now. Gone because the only thing. He's showing me as but yeah ok. He almost rubbed is button to the microphone thing. And that's not going to happen. No no no so anyway. If you've listened to this show. You hear bob quite quite a bit quite about does but anyway to set the scene it was in the evening and i think we were both ready to get absorbed into something. I was a sitting on the couch and my blanket. Cocoon guess which is blanket. Fort kind of deal cocoon. Yeah all cozy those are lake fleece blankets. That are really like the sherpa. Yes yes super. Soft super soft. And you're in your man robe my man rope which is polar fleece on the insight. So that's fun. I truly want to burn that robe. True i mean it is not designer lake from costco. Isn't it anyway. It's just the most comfortable thing ever but it's not flattering. No no and i think years ago someone got that for me for christmas and then i hung it up in the washroom in the back to. I think he'd yeah which i was glad to give away anyway. Why do we go on about this. I don't know there was a scene like we were getting absorbed into this show and fascinating the way it was done. Yeah it was kinda like a documentary. Wasn't a yeah. So there were six episodes each about an hour long and each of them focused on different things of death stages beliefs all that kind of stuff. Yeah and so. I have a list of those episodes. People could have stand me. The greater context table of contents able contact. I'm there. I think the first episode really got us going like i think it was a near death experiences right. This was the featured. The lady that went over the waterfall in her canoe and got pinned from the pressure of. That's right and they're both got stuck under water and she was dead for thirty minutes. Yeah yeah and then she came back. Yeah and she had that full story a full account of kind of what happened of her like seeing her family and them saying it's okay and you know come with us and then but then you know them being like actually. It's not your time. you need to go back. And she was awake. Yeah yeah okay. So i think that hooked us. Yes yeah we were like okay. This is this is credible. Which will talk about. I think in more detail a little bit goes back and forth like it's it's an unbiased look like it's sort of like an all encompassing look at death yeah you know And it's just so interesting you have to watch. It gets a little bit off right. The next two episodes were on mediums. So the first one was on near death experiences. Tommy we'll get there so hang on. Yeah that's wow. And so and then there was this episode on signs from the dead that was cool And then there was one that was seen dead people and then there was the last one which we'll talk about on reincarnation. Oh right yeah yeah so it seems like you know if you're talking about quote unquote surviving death. This would be six episodes that you would create to talk about that It wasn't all just on near death. But i think it seemed like based on the title kind of seems like that might be the case but it's actually much deeper than that So yeah yeah. It goes into random areas. That are very interesting. Yeah and they clearly had some money behind the show. Like this wasn't it was done very well. Done and trippy and parts. You know yeah so okay You know just it'd be interesting to hear from you john johnny. What your What wha- without diving into the specifics about what was really good and what was really fucked up in the xiao because there were some very fucked up things. What was your overall reaction like. Why did you personally engage with the show. so much I think it was just like you said. I think there was a lot of money that went into it. It was very thoughtful In the way it was put together skews that was the ectoplasms. Like honestly like i'm just remembering bits and pieces like i'd love to go back and watch it again. You know gab. It was just i just remember it being a great show and i'm sure as you mentioned more about l. Recall things. Yeah what is your. I mean for me. It's an easy catch for me just because I grew up very religious home. I'm catholic In catholicism is very kind of in tuned to The saints and ancestors does much like worship like like some kind of religions are by certainly believes in connection with the dead. Yeah so for me. That made sense. I've never we haven't spent a ton of time talking about spiritual matters. What for you like. What did touch on You're not an atheist. No i just could relate You know like thoughts on you know life after death like for me. I totally believe an eye. I believe that there's something you know i. I don't think it's the same thing for everyone. I think you know. Each person experiences their own idea of heaven or bliss and they achieved that when they die. You know like somehow so. I just think it's just it can't just be nothing like your conscious Go somewhere glenfiddich conscious. Yeah that's what i'm saying. And that's what they touched on bit you know is that you know like consciousness It it it may just like persevere like it may just you know it might not be the end of view when you physically die. Yeah yup do our bodies. Lebron got i hope not well they that was that episode about the reincarnation which is weird which we'll get into if it's cool. I mean if it's true then you know like whoa. Yeah that It's m- we'll touch on it in a bet. Yeah well on what it most likely is. Maybe that's partly what i'm thinking though about the show is that it it pulls you in you know based on the spiritual beliefs that both of us hold like. There's gotta be more to it than this. In other words brain death is not death in the end. A light switch offers more to at our consciousness goes on so pulls you in but then the show which will go into a little bit later completely fails in some spaces. But i did love that. It really engaged you. And i in a conversation about what happens after death because you're not a religious person at all. No but i am spiritual. I would say that. I'm very spiritual I'm in touch them. Yeah i don't know. I just feel like i am i i i'm very Empathic and You know. I'm i just pick up on energies and you know connect with animals because i have one all our. Yeah like i just have a strong connection with animals. And like i just feel i. I'm aware of energies and stuff like where others may not be. I think you know like like you know. Just like Yeah you can pick up the energy in a room really well. Yeah and i have a. I have a good way of figuring out what the problem is. And then like my issue is like trying to fix it. Because unlike the fixer i yeah from your perspective what is the definition. Or what is the difference definition. What is the difference between religion and spirituality Well i think in my sense. I'm using. I'm spiritual because like i can't i wouldn't define like a certain But if i guess if it was the closest would be like buddhism. I guess okay. Yeah for me except like. I don't do all that like praying or meditating or nothing to do with that. No it's just like i. Just i believe in karma ultimately what i believe in right. Yeah so yeah. But you're not a person who's ever gone to church. Oh yes. I used to go to church when i was young and england. Oh yeah and my mom actually was a sunday. Schoolteacher did not. Oh yes yes and When i was very young and there was little mini groups of kids. Yeah and i be like a group of two or three and they would each rotate like between Each teacher and then. When i get to my mom i'd be so proud of but that's my mom. Oh no the other kids are like a okay. But i thought that was really cool was an anglican or it was christ. Church of england So just like christian okay. Yeah it's not like a catholic is mark krisztian. Okay okay. so you didn't have a mass every angle. Can i think it's anglican yes. We had a mass. Every day took communion every church service. It was scientology. No crazy new. Yeah okay so you do have a you know. That's good to know because you do have exposure to kind of organized approach to spirituality. And you know like i've seen the davinci code like that shit is real. You know like what the fuck like. There's some kind of divine or weird stuff. Like i think maybe where we get confused with religion and all that stuff and like gods is that Maybe we're getting that confused with aliens that have you know been around before on the planet that may have left pyramids or some other weird crap. You know you've been watching way too. Many youtube videos on Aliens visiting earth and hitting the vape to. That's right so you are. you are spirit. You're spiritually minded person. But you're also open to very alternative explanations for things like the pyramids or whatever. I'm open to anything like the you know like and nothing is impossible and my books and it's just like stupid and ignorant and obviously taking advantage of people like the episode on the mediums and crazy danish chick or whatever the amsterdam and it's like yeah and we'll get into that we'll get into that. Yeah and they get into that in the show and they do their research and like basically all of this ship that the medium is is barking on about when she is you know under yeah At is stuff that you can google find online. So that's that's kind of weird and okay. Yeah you're very open minded person when it comes to spirit that i have commonsense to you know like i. I'm open minded. But i have common sense. You wouldn't be running down to get your feet and ray Like scientology obviously. That's bullshit. you know like anyone who supports that or follows it as as stupid. Yeah it's disturbing. Yeah that's quite disturbing. Any you know any religion that asks you to turn your back on and to cut ties with someone you love. Just because they don't believe in the same thing is you is bullshit. Let me ask this question. Because i think it relates to this show What why is it that people do turn to those very fringy spiritual practices that caused them to reject their family or whatever else whether it's fundamental christianity whether scientology whether it is whatever What is it about people that causes them to turn to that stuff to cut to sorry said again. You know. there's so there's people that wouldn't be kind of commonsense minded like yourself about it. There are people that would walk into the scientology Office downtown as they would have to have money as well if they wanted to go. That is what is it about that person that that they are willing to. What kind of a person does that. We kind of person does that attract I feel like if you are going to be in something like scientology. You have to let commonsense and be somewhat delusional to go there and like believe all this bullshit. I think it's just bullshit. Yeah you know and and for you. It's bullshit because it crosses this line of people are willing to give up their families to be involved in it. Yeah if you have to give up and cut ties with people that are not scientologists. You know because they're like what do they call them. They're like where they call it. In scientific oh rest ones or something. How compressors or something like that. Yeah i don't know but but it's like it's like come on. Yeah you know like you love this person. It's your family like what the fuck yeah And you know like this whole alien thing. Like i don't know you know like it's yeah. Okay now let's go glob. We we went into it. Because i do think it relates to the show because think partly what we notice as we talk about the stuff that was problematic for the series surviving death Is exactly this stuff where i felt like people were willing to give up too much to be involved in it so anyway before we dive into the negative. Can i just say one thing. You don't come from me scientology okay. We'll leave it on the show notes. So they don't go find it on. Google yep ultimately idea respect your religion if that's your thing but you know an log as dot dot dot wa. I'm late maybe just like relax your rules about lake. You know relations with people that aren't or don't support your religion. Look i think that's important is for religion if your religion is gonna be legit you're going to have to embrace other religions and get along. How about gay people. They don't embrace gay people. They don't embrace. Psychiatry or psychology. That's my world elbow. Gay people or appoint a porn jazz. So i think between all religions we can mutually agree that that's gay people don't belong no no and yeah. It's it's a disgrace. Total total disgrace. Okay okay good stuff. So what did we love about the show I think that There were are you. Okay danica if just lead kind of on the parts. I'm just going to an asthma moment. Very good nice. That's the sound of that. Very posh wine no posh. It's very average french wine but it was. Yeah it's a good table wine a good table white. Okay stuff that we liked about the show johnny so you mentioned the lady the very beginning. Tell her story. She was the physician close to death or near death experience. Yes for sure. And she was a physician which gave her some credibility. And there's also this other episode The was like Member like elder people that are close to death. You how like they were seeing your like people that had already passed and they were like them and there was a light and all that stuff. And it's like yeah you know guess for sure. I believe that I totally believe in guardian angels. That particular episode was about a christopher care who is a also a physician From buffalo new york. He works hospice. I think he's really cool. Really cool he was doing research on he still doing research on people's people being quote unquote kind of visited or seen family members within days to weeks before they actually pass people who are who are only how six months or so to live and whether it be through you know maybe some delirium through the medications the brain is dying or maybe it is an actual we kind of divine sprinter mention either way. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. Yeah that's that's what i have to say like you know. The body and the mind is an amazing thing. And i think if you open yourself up to the possibilities of other dimensions and other. Yeah you know that kind of thing is important to be open to that because we are so small in comparison to the rest of the fucking universe. You know so. So here's what i remember about. That particular interview is that he had controlled for Medication causing Or delirium actually causing these visions and visits as perceived by the person who was dying way out members if they're on like shit loads of opiates. Or whatever like in palliative care. Yes sure they probably are seeing some shadow. These guys he is talking about the weren't that that's right and that's what's cool that's cool. Here's what's even cooler about this guy which gave me a sense of. He has a ton of credibility but when he was asked what is his beliefs about spirituality. And how does this relate to spirituality He was actually. He said very clearly to the interviewer that he hates that question. So that he wasn't trying to attach spirituality but being very scientific in Trying to tease out like people are actually having these experiences. And he believes they're very valid. Absolutely you know There it's all valid and you have to have an open mind with it and if it's happening and people are reporting it than you know it's going to become a thing. Yeah and this is a guy who is a scientist at heart. So that's what. I think was pretty cool The only one. I wanna go back to because i don't want to skip over. It is this lady and the kayak at the very beginning so she was also a physician. I think she was a surgeon. Vinyl search search john good okay and so her belief that go like she going down the river and then oh One of the people that she was talking with in the easier route had blocked the path like she had gotten their kayak stuck. yeah so this poor woman had to go through the main. She's okay will undo in this and she's going down the main giant waterfall ver- when over. And i guess like managed to get her boat pens underneath the rocks and She end like the water like pounding down on her now get sounds like and she's like crushed like against her board or her canoe. Yeah and like there for thirty minutes. And some i guess she got shook loose by the current and then yeah came back to life thirty. Cpr on her didn't and she was out for thirty minutes. Had broken both femurs. I blend some ribs. Yeah yeah but she had recalled that when she was under that she was invited by relatives. And bumin's i think it was being asked you couldn't quite say what they were and that perception of time just completely changed and that could be the hypoxia. Could well be but again. What's cool about her. Why i think both of these cases both of these people we enjoyed throughout all six episodes. These are the two cases that we thought were really credible was both of them. Were physicians both them. Approach it from a scientific mind So in other words they're not just going to just accept anything they're going to really kinda put it through some scrutiny in their head and Both are her in particular. Her life has been changed with him. Were spiritual not religious. Focus spiritual phone just because she was really scientific and all that and she said yeah like she didn't believe in any of this no But what is really important about this show. And what is so cool and i think what drew us in is that there is that balance between scientific coup nonsense. Yeah and you know like and like it's interesting to see the juxtaposition between the two. Yeah it was just you know. Basically if you're listening to this and just watch it. Just watch it for sure after this after this note because you have to finish listening to us because we're not done yet because we're not done yet because we gotta get into the stuff that we found was so fringy bullshit that Yeah so there were tommy. Well we'll get there there. Were there were so part. Two three and four so basically the middle part. The middle episodes of this series were disappointing that I wanted to believe you wanted to believe. But it's like come on okay. So i broke into two big chunks. So one you keep talking about. Is this woman who claims to be a what they call a physical medium right. And then there's the ectoplasms business. Okay so she. Hey actually got her name. And you'll find all this in the show notes. her name is nicole de haas. She is dutch And she runs an institute called the medium training retreat I think she does some kind of medium stuff every day. I can't quite remember. There's something she'd kept going on about how it's a muscle you need to flex. And all of this. But what she does is they. Strap her into a chair right. And then she dragged. This is so this is physical medium. Yeah yeah so she like. There's this illusion that she might get violent or or move objects or something but she doesn't do any of that just makes funding voices and an pretends like she has a message and every single time i remember she would be like you. Just have to let go and i forgive you and it would be a loved one that passed. You know it would just be like you have to move on and you know like you know because these people will come to her seeking like some kind of answer like these. Were vulnerable pedio that experienced. Maybe the you know safe. Basically they were sad. Yeah a loved one had passed and maybe they hadn't baby. They thought that they hadn't said goodbye. Properly but yeah you know. Maybe they thought they the spirits were around. Yeah and this woman took advantage of that and yeah basically used their hope and believe too and took their money just to be like. Okay like yeah. Those retreats can't be cheap no and as a bunch of malarkey. Yeah well and so then when you watch it it's almost. I don't know how i could sit in a room and not just laugh to death. Because she says her she said there's some cringe modem cringe but she does some things to protect herself she strapped in. She have with some velcro strap and she has to go in a weird box thing and her. The lights are turned off. How come you're not allow video cameras. Who knows yeah like what is that. You know what it's like you have to document this. Yeah you know in. The lights are turned off. They could do audio recording so we had these audio recordings of her doing funny voices and there was even and then member then after that they went to this house she visited this house to help someone and it wasn't a physical thing but she could still do this with just chatterly. Yes so she did the tommy boy voice and freda or what. How does that work before we go on. How don't ask. I don't fucking know but but it is bizarre. Yeah it was basically. She was doing these funny voices. And if this is real god forgave me because that is so amazing and it's like a miracle but chances are like ninety seven percent it's bullshit but there's two voices right tommy boy and then freda which is kind of like middle aged woman. That's really debonair. Kind of or like maybe like a witch. Her voice changes when she channels freda. Yes she does this thing with her voice and it's like anyone could do that but really says nothing at all. No it's nothing. And there's nothing like outstanding communicated that is out of the norm. It would just be all like what you would expect like could find on social media like oh you know you need to be basically this person. She's channeling is just being like. Oh you know. Just move on and forgive me. Because i am in a better place but what was it. So here's this grown woman. She channels an older woman. Please god forget me. She seems like a pretty cool person. Like yeah you know. And i feel bad like criticizing people like because i don't know them. Yeah you can never like take us seriously is what i'm saying but let me just describe this okay. So like she's sitting there and she She channels this freda. Check right now. Boy it's tommy boy. She has to summon. I look i character. Tommy boy Then is like i guess. An intermediate person for freda who the actual medium the the can speak with the coq relatives person that she's dealing with with wisdom and all of this past the can. That has a message for this family. Member i ac- but then when you're sitting there watching this and she goes into the tommy boy. It's very awkward yay and you can see some of the people in the room are kind of smirking like and you know like she's making like all of a sudden it's a comedy act. Let's talk a little boy but like there are jokes and it's crisis and its cringe. You know what i mean and it's like that's not how it works you know and the let's be honest. We don't know how it works. We're just observing this and we're going. Wow this is so uncomfortable it's cringe. I think is a really good word it was it was just like i couldn't get enough as i just watching it. It's like this is some great content like directors. Whoever made this show while done more of this please. Yeah so we start off with the real credible stuff right stuff. That's got scientists who are who are able to measure and and with science and all that but feel very good about some of the spiritual things that they've experienced are witnessed scene. and then we have this stuff. That's more typical reincarnation. Well so mediums and then this last one reincarnation that for me was rim on the fence with the spun. Okay so tell will because they member. That was the guy that did the tests with that kid. Remember basically this child At what age yes. So basically like two or three super yachts and very young age was like in the car and and and i think he was like What do you say and it was he was some something about. you're not my mommy my other mummy. Oh yeah no he said like my my dad killed me or something before something. Yeah basically the kid was aware that he had lived another life at hoover three and was like and basically get set. Like i'm this person jalen. Yeah something washington or something and So and then like the mother starts researching like this name and it turns out like it's like this kid that has been murderously murdered by the father and it's like this random kid is like yeah has thoughts and is aware of this. Yeah you know. And it's like fuck you know like and they did it a the kid like point to all the correct pictures that were associated with the crime scene or like with the with the people who know people he would know like the sexual kid that was killed. Yeah so it's like it's bizarre. You know if that's real like whoa. It's possible and you know like i said like i don't nothing is impossible so there were two big cases of reincarnation that they talked about and i think both cases for me. I think we're i was really uncomfortable was Young children and children in general. Yes woman with the bad lipstick. That was her no but her son her son or poor son that was thrown out now. And he's like yeah. I'm kind of over this. We stop now. you know. But so but both reincarnation cases dealt with young children who are super impressionable and it's really hard to know how they got the information that they were apparently saint and by the way it was the mothers in both cases reporting what the kid said so getting credibility issue here and the other thing is mother's crazy who knows but i also noticed that both of the mums were also quite. I'd just felt like they were getting more out of this than their kids. Were in terms. It was meeting their needs more than it was helping the kid who was apparently. It'll be hard. It'd be like an attention seeking thing as well like a munchausen. I mean not intentionally. I don't believe that that's intentional. Necessarily i believe it could be anything. Yeah and that's the magic of tv and that's the magic of this show because it got us going enough that we're talking about it right now. I know i think i had dreams. I had dreams about it. Was like that cool. And like this show you know with the reset with what little fires everywhere i fucking. So into that and It's it we were just glued to work late. We just didn't say anything. We continued watching the episodes. It's brilliant so let's tie this. Hbo isn't it no. No it's prime. Yeah let's spend some time though tying this into Wellness maybe i'll just say in you. Just tell me what you think. But i think that we have to be able to to me this show. The series goes beyond. Just find interesting that in the end all of us. I believe have a spiritual side to us and i think our emotional psychological health really has a spiritual side that must be talked about like so for instance. We used to always. Just talk about clinical psychology. We used to always talk about kind of bio psychosocial. So anytime you're talking about something like depression you'd have to talk at. The biological pilots parts of it the psychological parts of social parts of it. But there's a fourth part of that that we've recently added in the last decade or so which is spirituality so he's now say bio psycho social spiritual because recognize that people in terms of overall wellness do need to somehow Tap into an understanding of their own mortality An understanding of what's the meaning of it all. How do you derive purpose. And i do think that I do think that this show makes step back and think about wellness in my mind i want to mention is the one place where the show became so unbelievable it was just horrible was the content of ectoplasms. We're not gonna talk about it. But i want you to go watch. It's so absurd. yeah and it's like what. Yeah and you're not allowed to touch it so then how. How is it how you know it's there. Yeah i think it drives the point home and so Yeah there it is any last words before we hang up on this. I'm no i just you know. Thanks thanks for this Podcast for me to be a part of this in iowa. The m- the had meeting for both of us. I think that's mostly the point and I think i think everyone should watch it regardless of what we've said i'm so in talking about the negative stuff. We're not trying to dissuade anybody. Were actually trying to say. Please approach everything like this with extreme skepticism and the parts that come out through that filter are credible and good. Just know that. Not every ghost ghost know if they're at all of course now they're gonna send their watching all right. Thank you so much and we will have you on future commentary. Thanks cool of love. You i love you too. It's been it's been fun okay. We'll talk to you about okay. And i hope you guys enjoy we look forward to you to us and text us join. Repeat those numbers or the email address. Or let's do it. Yeah comments or questions can be left in Voicemail or tax voicemails certainly desirable seven seven eight seven six six four five seven four. That's in canada or four. Four two two six seven three one zero two and that is in the united states. And if you leave us a voicemail we may play a few jeffersonian comment on it. That's it Guys you guys take care. Happy new year and be safe chairs.

netflix Killick johnny killick johnny Interest john johnny freda mark krisztian ray Like reese witherspoon Medication causing Or delirium Tommy costco england john good Johnny Pat bumin Lebron nicole de haas google
Settling Into the COVID Crisis and the Evils of Virtue Signalling

The Finding My Psych Podcast

52:47 min | 1 year ago

Settling Into the COVID Crisis and the Evils of Virtue Signalling

"Hello, everyone, and thank you so much for joining me today. This is your host jared Killick and this is the funny my psych podcast So this is the first time that you are stumbling onto this show I'm listening to us for the first time just know that we are all things a health psychology and behavioral medicine, and so today I'm going to do. I think what I consider a bit of a follow up. Episode to Number Episode Thirty, I, believe a few weeks back or I was talking about kind of my own reaction to Kovic over the past several months and kind of emotional reaction particular kind of what I've seen others as well and then I was given some advice. I believe probably what I consider a good way of handling of what's been happening and I think now I'm considering this a follow up episode because. I think things have changed quite significantly around me and I think my reaction has also changed as a result and so I just want to spend some time. Talking about you know what I notice what that is, and instead of providing advice because you're gonNA hear me start to rail against. A certain form of advice that's driving me quite crazy that everyone seems to have lots of right now. But I'm going to just talk about how I personally am fighting back against all the difficult things that are happening around me. So I think that this is this episode is a bit of a departure where. I think generally what I tried to provide with this podcast is just useful tools useful information something that's helpful to you. We all do get kind of tired about hearing what people think inside tried to spend. A lot of time just providing tools because those are the things that we could kind of test out ourselves, try ourselves and if it works. Great. That's something that that we stick with but. this is maybe more me opening up I think is one way to look at it. It is a solo episode, and so it really is mostly kind of my own personal reflections and. I do hope that just connecting with me that way is is certainly good and positive for you so. Just a quick note before I get started with very specific content as part of episode thirty two. I just WanNa say thank you so much for all the amazing positive feedback that I got. With the interview last Cup two three weeks ago now with a Tamara are Tam Randall. So Tam came on the show and she shared her own personal experience around recovery and the more I spend time reading the reactions from other people and then kind of thinking about what happened in that episode I just. Can't feel. Any less gratitude that I I can't I feel so much gratitude is what I'm trying to say I feel overwhelmed with gratitude and I couldn't feel more over the moon about how Honored I. Guess I was that Tam was able and willing to come onto the show in chair her own recovery journey that is a journey that is extremely personal and it's not. So it's just not something to I. Think to take for granted I don't take that for granted. One of the kind of forward motions I want to kind of promote in this show kind of A. Maybe a new approach but maybe something I'm really focusing on is guests moving forward will have less kind of. That won't be having people on that have pedantic advice. I want people who are just willing to share their own journey in their own story and maybe you as a listener gonna find something rich in there that that resonates for you. You know or not because everyone has their own. So so again, thank you so much for the positive feedback. We really quickly we got a couple of requests for different organizations to have themselves listed on our resource page, and so of course, that was wonderful and we certainly did that So I feel like that episode talking about addiction talking about recovery. Really kind of broadened our audience. So for you now moving forward with this episode or any other episode that you catch we do have updated phone numbers and The phone numbers are really there for you to call one number for candidate. That's that's where we originate and one for the United States and you could just call that number. It goes directly to voicemail. You could share what you think or feel or have questions you might have, and then we will, of course, put them in a future episode To be able. Process that information for the general for the general audience the. You can also just leave a tax at the same number and I will get that text message and of course, I will say that up and then share so So basically speaking the Canadian number is seven, seven, eight, seven, six, four, five, seven, four, you can also find. The numbers at the bottom right of the webpage finding my psych dot com. And then other number is four, four, two, two, six, seven, three, one, zero, two, that's in the United States. So give us a call leave a voicemail. If you want to be heard on air a were just drop us a text I will be sure to read your comment on air we'll positive or negative you know. So if you have feedback about how you want things to improve on the show, please you know we're always open to that as well. So diving into the content I do want to use this as an opportunity to talk about my current observations what I am seeing right now the last week of September, two thousand. Twenty. As it relates to covid nineteen and as the audience probably knows as you all know, I. work in healthcare work in a healthcare setting work in healthcare leadership, and I had the opportunity to work with first of all the some of the most amazing people on Earth doing some of the most amazing work which includes certainly frontline work workers and leadership But I also just feel like because of the work that I do I have this opportunity to really get a bird's eye view of what's happening kind of around me in society. Pub from like a public health view almost how people are responding how I'm responding how that is the same how that is different and covert has offered a ton of opportunity for self reflection and then management of my own reactions and I have to be fully honest. If I haven't shared before I'll share now that it's just been a tough road and a lot of my job is to be strong for other people to make really tough decisions to make a lot of little decisions throughout any given day. But to also make some really big decisions and I, think hoving has just There truly are days when I I question that I can keep doing the work to be really honest with you. And then it takes one positive interaction with someone at work and bang. I'm feel like, okay I can do this. We're good because the work that I do is so rewarding and I'm just so lucky to be able to. I'm lucky to be trusted enough to do the work and that. That's just an amazing experience but basically, our current system here current setting in this is in British. Columbia. Canada, I live in Vancouver BC. We have moved forward in our current kind of setting with school. So School k through twelve has started back up I believe are probably entering. Maybe our third week next week and wow was it tense so tense. So crazy all of listening to the radio on my drives in my commute back and forth to work just the commentary and the fear and sometimes anger, and then sometimes just absolute hopefulness. For kids getting back to school and what parents must be going through. But now that we're back in school Things have seemed to kind of quiet down. We have some people getting back to work. As you can imagine, many people have lost their jobs, especially small businesses, but a lot of. People were just really lucky that their employer and allow them to work at home because they had a job as such that wasn't essential service that they could actually work from home and. Now people are being called back into work until the office not all but some but what's happening with school and work as some? New Sense of normal new sense of stability that the world has not fallen apart even though cases are going up in certain parts of the world buried dramatically and I would say that is that's comforting. I would say that's one of the things I'm noticing right now that we're all kind of settling. For this very difficult ride sometimes feels like a roller coaster but it's a very difficult ride where we don't truly know what the is coming, but it's what I've noticed is that it's less fear based. Now it's more acceptance of the current pandemic crisis and some normalizing cover some getting into some kind of routine. That's the word I'm looking for and flow. So. There are certainly consequences to what's happening and none of these things would be. Shocking but I live, you know in Vancouver, which is a very large city and we've noticed you know the opposite side of this is that a lot of small businesses restaurants little mom and pop shops those have actually closed down because we didn't come out of this Kobe crisis as quickly as everyone kind of dreamt and they haven't been able to survive because of that because you know especially like a restaurant workers, you know small businesses because of that what I'm also noticing is just starting to make the news here is out rule is ation so we are seeing. People, leave the city and not in caravans or anything but it's happening. We're noticing that therefore more rentals are available in the in the city centre and some of those prices are starting to come down. Well, of course, that's a great thing in some ways but as really a side effect of something that had the precursor was quite bad and that is people losing work people not able to especially young people were their career. Hasn't quite been set yet or people that haven't you know for instance, had occurred in healthcare or something like we're in tack or whatever A lot of folks worked like two different restaurant jobs for an for instance, and a lot of that work is now just gone. So I would say young people this has really set them back people that are either in Uni and they're kind of working to get through school. Or just people you know to live in this beautiful city we have to make a lot of sacrifices and if you're not making, you know kind of a six figure income, it can be very, very difficult here. So anyway, I, notice rural ization is happening people are moving into the interior they're moving over to Vancouver island they're moving back home to kinda central parts of Canada. That's an interesting trend to see what will happen over time. then. There's also I would just say again you know anxiety right now is not like. A FRENETIC Inexperience in other words, it's just not let's constant peak of anxiety right now. But when I definitely notice is very low grade anxiety in that sense that you know the the crisis happening, we don't have an end in sight. It's unclear if. If a vaccine will happen if it does how effective, etc. The kind of like the unknown is what's causing our current US Dave anxiety right now. So I would say. Also kind of an you know, one of my current observations that kind of puts us all together. In, a way. Is that I need to recognize that in British Columbia Canada. Is ICS a bit as being on the edge of reality in the sense that we have this amazing advantage of being able to grow almost kind of like the the end of the wave so to speak so we see cut of the waves that have happened in the world around infection rates. And we've also been able to because it seems to kind of drift are way where seem we seem to be the last part of the world you know getting that wave we have this advantage of seen what's happening and other places. How they're responding what's working not working and how then we will continue to move forward ourselves so I would say that needs to be a part of you know this talk that we don't have super high rates right now we don't have super high cases like we have I think the other day I. Think we were around one hundred cases on Friday We've been up as high as one, hundred fifty or sixty cases a day for a while when we had actually flattened the curve, we were down twenty cases a day, but we've also like increased testing sites and all of that, and of course, Y'all young people are are. Kind of the folks getting the disease now, and that's what accounts for those increased numbers mostly. So. But BC is unique and that this would be the same conversation if I was living in new. York City right now where I heard that yesterday I think it was thousand new cases in the city of new. York how scary is that? Right? The other thing that also is a part of this A. B. C. living on the edge of reality. Is that. We all were Canadians, and we have this most remarkable healthcare system where everyone has access to care and you know I suppose if you're in the United States, you're going to hear people like conservatives in particular will they don't understand our healthcare system and they don't see the benefits of it they call it a socialized healthcare system, call it whatever you want. It just get semantic. The point is that we all pay into it with our. Tax Dollars and we all have quick free access to it, and that is incredible and in the Cova crisis there's never a conversation about how much it cost to get a Cova test or when vaccines come out how much it will cost to get it or if I have complications and ended up in ICU because of covid that I'm now going bankrupt the rest of my life because, of course, that bill is gonNA be really high. That here. To me that is the best healthcare system in the world that you are never thinking about those. Those costs because you're you're kind of pre pain for it through your taxes and do we pay? Yes. We've had. A lot of money. But this is really kind of proof of how well it can work and we all buy into the system at all love the system. So anyway, I would say you know are those are my current observations and I wanted to just say kind of what I've noticed again, and just as we're settling in this back to school piece I, want to acknowledge that BBC is in a very unique kind of situation and it's unique for us in in British Columbia. Canada because again you know we have this unique healthcare system and our cases are just not super super high What's really important you should know is that the way we make public health decisions as last about those the number of cases that are per day. So what is it? are kind of high peak is in one hundred, fifty issue so. That seems like a lot to us for other place that seems like nothing for what they're getting. What's the state like states like two, hundred, thousand or something crazy I don't know. It's lot. But? What we're really you know paying attention to how how we make public health decisions is based on the hospital admits and the hospital admissions is really the important number, and then within that number, how many of those hospital admissions and up in some kind of? Acute Care where they might require event. That's of course, very, very, very serious. Our numbers they're currently you know have gone up a little bit but definitely, not significantly definitely definitely not to the point where yet you know where we need to be shutting down surgeries and hospitals and all that kind of stuff. So we're sitting really good and that's that's part of this context and it may mean that what I'm telling you today is a bit maybe lacks reality as it compares to other places around the world where the number of cases are just so so high the number of people that are just so so hi. This is our context and the reality. There's another thing though maybe this is the darker side of all of it, and this is one thing that's really been. Bothering me as of late and that is the. Very heavy amount of what I, what is called Virtue Virtue? Signaling a virtue signal is a really great expression that I've only recently tripped onto. So I'm feeling a little bit behind here because I'm understanding this is a fairly popular expression. Virtue Virtue Sake signaling is something that we see a lot of in social media in particular on Youtube. And just to define what that is is it's when you When you kind of have a moralizing stance? About someone else's particular behavior and moralizing stance can certainly comes across as like I have this figured out I have this virtue literally and your your not doing it ad. Then therefore, you know kind of shame on you. If you followed my way and you followed my moral path, then this would all be fine and. You'll notice in a in a few episodes back I said one of the things that I was really frustrated with is on Youtube in particular I stopped watching a lot of what I was calling then how to videos And I knew that even when I was saying, it wasn't quite making sense like not a how to video like how do you make cake but what I was trying to express back then was this lack of language that I have now virtue signaling that that kind of how to meaning I'm doing it this way it's the right way and now you. Must Follow my path if you're going to be of inequality of a soul. So this kind of virtue signaling how who? Style is is really frustrating and in particular. I see it in the Vegan community quite a bit. I've got after this in previous episodes as well that as Vegan I'm a Vegan and I. This is this is a lifestyle that I have followed for a long time. It's not been perfect. It is a point of growth for me that but I am committed to it and I. You know what I've heard some vegans to. Is Make claims that if we didn't consume animal products. There would be no covid nineteen that if we didn't consume animal products, there would be certainly know disease no viruses that get out and kill lots and lots of people and I think to start with from a scientific view nothing could be more inaccurate than that statement. Because Disease Cross into the human population in all kinds of methods. Could have some portions. Some part of that variance could be accounted for certainly by eating or processing. you know live animals and markets and all of this kind of thing but it is just very arrogant to claim this that if everyone was, Vegan, there'd be no cove in Nineteen I. Find it frustrating fun e arrogant and his definitely virtue signaling. The thing on. I hate to be super targeting anybody in particular. But I just want to use as an example because. Rich Role. He has a podcast, very popular podcast. He is on his AAC game. He is amazing at what he does. I personally really love his style I love some of the bits of information that I get out of the podcast that he does he interviews people long form. But part of this whole thing I'm just starting to feel so edgy about around the virtual virtue signaling part of what he does I'm starting to see more and more and more and part of what he says directly but also part of what some of his guests say. And I I don't know I just some of the things that I've heard him say kind of fund a couple of quotes I remember one time on facebook he wrote you know living your purpose. And I'm thinking. Are you fucking kidding me like now. This is really at the peak of. You know the covid response in early March and he had a piece that was about living your purpose and I'm thinking. We're just trying to survive right now we're trying to know how to react. I. Don't think anyone is ready to sit down and start thinking about their purpose. We just don't know what the next six months are going to look like it. Just it just really got under my skin and then I started her really kind of reflect back on some my own previous work where I have been doing that style of virtue signaling I have been spending time saying here's the path. Here's the way, and if you do that, t know your purpose for instance and you'll have enlightenment. I'm embarrassed at my own contribution ritual had a a podcast guests on most recently who's selling books and he's super popular right now but it was the same kind of thing. Name is Jay Shetty. He was interviewed by Rich Role, and of course, the his whole thing is about his quote, Unquote Journey and words. Again. I don't think society has the capability to do this. Do this right now, and even if we have an ounce of psychic energy to be able to do that. It's not where we should be spending our energy and. It's just so out of touch with. People that are have lost their jobs, people that are that have their jobs and they're so anxious at work they don't know how to. How to get through especially people that are working essential essential service like these are our heroes and. They're not sitting around thinking about their inward. Journey their purpose of life. Yeah. Funding frustrating. Then finally just one other individual that rich was interviewing. AM His quotes. He was a spiritual leader in I even name I'm just not trying to be mean but the spiritual leader that was being. Interviewed by by ritual, it was. Him and rich were saying things like this quote is it's time to once again trans transcend those mortal coil to connect with all things ethereal. It's time to once again transcend this mortal mortal coil to connect with all things the`real. You have to read it twice just to kind of get your head around each of the bits but. Again I, don't think this is what society needs. I think society needs, connection, and people. And that's what I want to share next. Oh I really want you to call me out when you hear me. Doing these virtue signaling types of activities because. I can see in the past where I follow into that a little bit. I'm far more interested in knowing about people's journey and like what we learned from Tam a few weeks back. You know with hit her interview on the show she wasn't sitting there giving advice she was. Just, sharing her own experience and through that. It's my hope that people will find meaning. Not, these kind of deep. inward-looking pieces of Advice I. Find it very frustrating. So how am I kind of? You know fighting back and you know fighting back against. You, know some of the kind of petty petty you know. Virtue signaling happening out there some of the Pepsi is the word I was looking for kinds of information that are coming at people for how to get through this, how I kind of fighting back against just that generals that low great anxiety that were all experiencing not knowing when this all going to end I think before I tell you exactly what I'm doing the various points that I have. I would say if we were to compare it to anything. What I might say is that. It's a little bit like. Maybe, and maybe this me being a bit out of touch because I've not lived through it, but it's a little bit like war or living in an oppressive regime, right? So if you're living in wartime, what happened to for instance? Bosnians. In the nineties living under an oppressive regime like say China. You, know Rural. China in particular, you're living under that kind of. You're being told exactly what to think how to live and some people lose their lives for not doing that. I would say, that's the comparison I'm trying to think of I'm not live through that horror, but I would think what we're going through as A. Society a universal international society is exactly that. That's not our government necessarily although in some cases it is it is. A virus that has changed the fluidity in all things. So. Just I think that's what we're fighting against, and so what am I doing? I would say some of this is reflective of you know what I'm doing at work. You know in my day job. And certainly say the first thing that I'm doing because mostly because I really bloody hate. Zoom I do not believe that zoom is a proxy four. Meeting in person in any way shape or form I. Think that interesting because I do a lot of I have a lot of meetings I host a lot of meetings. With my job and many of those meetings have gone from being person to not being in person. So the first thing I'm doing because I'm in charge of some of this stuff as where possible I am setting up meetings were meeting in person and if we we either all can meet in person or we can't. That's how I see it. So, I'm not doing any hybrid modeling on this, but I I mean somewhat. So what I'll do is I will set up I'll never setup zoom ever because again. That has no proxy for being with people but what I will do all set up a t cone. So a Tikan telecommunications line is just everyone one thousand to the same number, and then we can all hear each other. There's a moderator Code. I'm the moderator everyone dials in with a participant code that is a really good way to meet and I know it might not make sense what I'm saying. So why not just do it zoom anyway. So at least I can see their faces and the point is as we are fooling ourselves by thinking that that replaces being in person if we're not going to be in person, we're just not going to be in person. Now, I have had meetings where the room that would be hosting that in and the size of the group don't match so more people than what would be safe for all of us to be any room, and so we do a bit of a hybrid in the sense that is a t line and a proportion of us are there and the others call in and but you see my point, it's about getting control of this the bias that we need to be with each other, and that's how I'm feeling that it is all about relationships and being connected and The digital thing makes that very very difficult I am doing. Everything I can to bring us together. And as it can be tricky and that requires some management, it still is something that I strongly suggest. Another thing that I personally am doing. The. kind of affect my own. Of State of bean is reconnecting with people that I haven't been very close to you know over the last couple of years. Let's say for me in particular, this would be a my inlaws. I'm who I love very, very much. And my disconnect with my in laws over the last couple of years has less to do with conflict and more to do really with just how consumed. Work how consuming my work is. That I allow it to be really right by work is consuming but when it comes to my personal time I've always felt like I was so protective of my personal time because my. My regular. Our job is just so insane and I think that that's probably the wrong approach. That's what I'm learning for myself is that. Some of my personal time. Should be really purposeful effort to get together with family. So when I that's really helped me like so for instance I'm recording. This episode fairly late in the evening on a Saturday night and I was just. Out with my in laws and my husband celebrating my mom in laws birthday. And normally, I just wouldn't be there and but it just has entered is it's energize me but it's made me feel connected and supported, and even though we weren't really talking about supporting each other is just kind of the consequences. What happened. So I'd say for me just reconnecting with people that I care about because. Just like the whole idea of bringing people together meetings as important we all need to be with each other and I, think you know depending on our bubble. You know we'll talk bubbles how people are bubbles here in BC depending on the size of that bubble we need to be together so. Another one I've talked about the pass a lot for myself and I I fall on this a little bit putt getting better every day. I'm staying completely away from the news and the news media is simply horrid. It is just a regurgitating recapitulation of the same information over and over and over again. And the real problem of the business model that all news even. Real Quality News like The New York Times is they. They make money on there. Click throughs. So when you see a headline that's catchy that's worrisome. Whatever you click on it and it takes you to the page there's advertising, and then there's revenue that's made based on that and even that small amounts of revenue it's revenue that adds up over time. And so. Another words there's a there is they are encouraged to write headlines that gets you to click these are. These headlines as headlines that are positive in nature and make you feel good. It's actually headlines that cause you to question what they mean to be anxious therefore or an anxious headline that's written in such a way that makes you click through right. So I just think. The business model around media right now is super bad. It's super wrong. And they're all competing for our click throughs and it's shocking to me. You know you'll read ahead. Most people just read headlines by the way if that's all you did holy crap you're in a bad place because when you actually click through the article yes the company's making some money on that. But when you actually look at the content, it's rarely rarely what was written in the headline and so you know there's no opportunity to kind of. Get, the relaxed information rate separate to kind of pull a full circle is just a bad model I would say that. The way we get control of that is we stop clicking through heads stopped looking at headlines even the Apple News App is just a collection of headlines based on your interest that you click into. I don't even have that anymore on my phone. Anyway. You know again, I'm not trying to give advice as much as say, this is working for me and. If you find that reading news helps relieve anxiety because you feel like you're not missing out on stuff by knowing excetera, then go for it but just really from my personality and the combination of work that I do and all of that I would say It's bad for me in particular. the other thing I'm doing a little bit better on and maybe try not to be so extreme about is. Mindfulness around social media. Why say so extreme about what I tend to fall into I get specially particularly anxious or even depressed. I will just get rid of all social media. I'll just get it off all of my devices I'll consumed many times. I've deleted my facebook account and reinitiated it to start a new one when it lapsed. I will. I mean that's really what it gets down to. It's just I'm trying to be more money in full about myself because I see the value in connecting people but I I'm learning more that it has a place. But I need to be in the driver's seat. And the types of information I that I want to read their that I kind of curate myself that they don't carry it for me so much that I connected the people I want to connect with I. Hate this getting friend on facebook in particular getting friend requests from people that you knew like thirty years ago and you didn't even like them. And you both know you're Kinda. SORTA. Didn't like each other but connect on facebook. Why? So get rid of it. That's just my. Hair you know I don't want to be virtue signalling. You know like I'm all that a bag of chips and better because I you know got control social media but. I just for myself it's been really a tough battle and movies will come out. There's a new one right. Now, the social dilemma where everyone gets on the kind of antisocial media wigan, there's nothing in that movie for instance, that's new. We are all learning to manage social media. All I would hope to God that we all know how much they track us. That they that people understand the business model that the. You know that the kind of algorithm is does the design is the way it says? Any none of that news just don't understand why people are so shocked by it. You know there's no such thing as getting something for free like you know what kind of millennials thinking are we get it into when we think how dare day we didn't pay for it. So of course. They're going to do these things. They've got to make their money. So it's more about my responsibility and taking responsibility for. Not, letting. It control me and knowing how it works and how to call bullshit right? So anyway. On, this is just my own personal journey run social media. I would love to hear your own personal journey and how you're managing or not at all. Maybe he doesn't factor for you. Maybe you just don't. It doesn't do anything bad for you for me. I, just notice it makes me more anxious and more approval see and all those crazy things. also, I would say you know. Co vid has offered me this other gift which as You start to question everything maybe base it's happening kind of psychically within me and others around me as we're all thinking like about some morbid level, we're thinking about death. And we think about death but that forces you to do is to stop and go. Is what I'm doing right now, what I want to be doing no one I should be doing. That's the Rog words what I want to be doing. So for instance, you know me Living Vegan lifestyle is that something I want to be doing and it makes me something question like why am I doing? What is the purpose for me? it's not to save the world or save all the animals like there's I made me kind of really drill down into why that's important for me. And to use that journey as a place of growth for myself and I think that this is your opportunity to do that whatever the thing is that you're into question it. And be willing to step back from it if it's not serving you anymore a few Krahn out of a few grown past it. Right. Something related to this is kind of spiritual endeavors. Not Religious ones. Let's different would say spirituality over religiosity you'll see that in the show notes. I think we all need to have a sense that there's something bigger than us out there that. That kind of for what I'm kind of going through. Myself is reconnecting to some of my spiritual roots growing up Catholic. For instance, I'm not going to mass or anything. But I am step stepping back and I'm thinking you know like. There's a certain amount of ritual for me within that. Expression of my spirituality that makes me just feel. Comforted and so I was this very controversial is for me because I have so many mixed feelings around spirituality and religiosity. And This is what Kobe has given me. I'm just so lucky I think what my own advice to myself on this because again, this isn't for you. It's just you tell me what me telling you what I'm kind of going through and doing is this is just a really opportunity for me to look at. Where where the spiritual they have place in my life. Yeah. Super Important. I would say also that. One, of the other things that I'm doing to kind of fight back against the causing anxiety low gradings idea that we're all going through as we're settling into cove it. Is. I'm trying really hard. You know to adhere to my own health goals and so So for me that's running or walking long distance walking. That's getting certain amount of steps in a day. That's making sure that I'm outside as much as I can Yeah. So I would say that this is something for me that I keep focusing on I've been runner for many years and I'm going part of my question is like how is that serving me now especially as I'm getting into my late forties and is there other ways for me to be physically fit and because I know that that physical fitness for me really helps my head space. It really helps my anxiety I know that there's GonNa be some biochemistry there is there's no doubt. There's no doubt at all that there are some positive outcomes are the the the biochemistry, the Niro Chemistry of anxiety depression connected exercise, and so I know that information and it's just being willing to evaluate what I'm doing my health goals and then routes really sticking to them. This is not the time to for instance, if you're sober is not the time to stop and say Yeah I don't. I can start drinking. We're GONNA die tomorrow anyway if I got no. I would say that's bad idea but maybe some advice. Sorry. But, my own experience for myself would be is not to make radical changes like that especially if they're the negative of my health. Just, a couple more guys, you know another one that I'm doing and maybe it's just kind of my personality and also it's you know I'm just really lucky to have a great job, but I'm just putting my head down working hard. That's you know I would say for me. One of the ways I'm surviving is that what I'm at work, I'm really working hard. There are days I've been working. I. Don't feel like I've anything to give because of just Cova. But I would say I'm just working really hard and that's been very. Healthy for me, it's been a bit of a distraction. It's been a bit of. Feeling a sense of accomplishment and reward. So yeah. Another thing. This is an interesting one. Is I. Don't know in the news if you guys have seen it or not but here in BC and certainly as part of California in. western part of the United States. But we got here in BC we've. Had it before. And that is. A forest fire smoke. And so just white ruin win school was getting started here. Again, three weeks back. Holy Shit. This place was dark with smoke. So we have all this things around. COVID and kids going back to school parents just really having a tough time as naturally they would. And then there's blanket of dark smoke. And the dark smoke you're thinking. Okay. Well, it's going to be gone tomorrow that it wasn't. Week one went by. Part of week, two went by hadn't changed. Towards the very very end of week to it started dissipate and then just disappeared. But I will tell you that week and a half. Of sitting there with that smoke. Kids are going back to school people or tripping out. News media's full of all of these. Stories about interviewing parents and what's not going right with kids going back to school house craziness. And then there's this black this dark. Smoke. Bad for London's bad for booed and. I'm going through this and telling you this is that it was so hard for me because it was like this. What else can go wrong and there are many other things that can go wrong. Alien invasion earthquakes you name it but there are many things that can go wrong and I just I, felt like it was. Is there anything else what is going to be that Straw that breaks the back breaks are back that makes us go I can't take anymore. I learned that it's super important for me to. Have when new things come my way new things are gonNA come my way this year hopefully, not too many about things but new things will that's just life and you have to cut a except that. I have to be able to compartmentalize. that. Item, and so the forest fire smoke with something that I would have done better if I was able to compartmentalize it better to put it in its own category, don't add it to this whole. Horrible. covid nineteen pandemic and kids going back to school put it in its own category. Do. The best you know this is just mental games, but this is a way of surviving it and new things will come our way someone that you love this year might die. Card for bed but. If that happens. Don't put as the whole compartmentalize it into something separate. Right. I've got A. R pug he's fifteen. Yeah, it's she's not doing great and I just keep thinking to myself. Please please please just make it to two thousand twenty. Five said that Johnny several times my husband just hope she makes it the two, thousand, twenty in those two are particularly connected. And I wanted to go to two, thousand, twenty, two, thousand, and twenty two totally consumed only by Cova and bad things. But I think what I need to be able to do that could happen this year that she passes and. I'm going to have to be able to compartmentalize that not put in this kind of dark pit of bad shed that happened in two, thousand and twenty. One of I need to do so. Yeah the only other thing I would say what I'm doing is I'm catching my own virtue signal lean and I'm really Staying away from those that do it a ritual again, going back to him he's just such a phenomenal person. I would just really think that there's a lot more. To him but I find myself self I being frustrated with. This Heavy talk on inward journeys and personal purpose in life and. In worse yet comes out of Malibu. So then of course, I just start to think you know I'm little poor kid who grew up on an island fifteen hundred people lasca didn't have a pot to Piss as a kid. So you kind of compare this. This. Advice coming from someone who probably certainly has their own struggles and worries and concerns it just seems so out of touch and. That is really my big learning right now and where I fallen into that. Being very privileged. I. Think. As an adult with an amazing career. mazing marriage and live an amazing country with amazing healthcare system all those things it's easy to kind of get into fall into that. Virtue signaling trap. So All right guys. Yeah. It's just a lot of me talking and I hope you don't mind again I'll be working to get more people kind of on the podcast I'm hoping to get Johnny We did an episode about four years ago, talking about our our marriage and what makes it work and I think we're going to do that again. Then also my mother-in-law and she is quite an incredible soul and it'll be very to have her back on the show as well. every once in a while I'll get a request you know through instagram or through twitter of people wanting to be on the show and I turn a lot of them down because they just don't fit or they're they're trying to sell something. But sometimes I do accept them and so you will see those kind of come up on occasion and There are some that are kind of in the shoot right now that have been recorded in just need to be published and a cuss stay tuned for those good stories of people. You know kind of doing amazing things and they're amazing journey so. if you have a journey share yourself, we would just love to have you on the show and we would love to hear what your it's all about what your experiences and how you've gotten through. and that would be wonderful. You know contact our support team. So we do have an email that we're using for this stuff. At finding my psych dot COM but it's also a contact form. He just kind of go to put a link in the show notes that you can. So you can get to our contact form and if you can't find that no problem, just go to our website finding my psych dot com and on the very top you're GonNa see the farthest writes Tab contact form, and so I will Certainly I would love to. Hear or read what you have to say either you're going to be asking to be in the show where you're GONNA HAVE A. Question or comment in that would be absolutely. Again. Don't forget about the phone numbers If you WANNA leave a voicemail and text with the same purpose, a seven, seven, eight, seven, six, six, four, five, seven, four in Canada, and if you're you are in the US are four, four, two, two, six, seven, three, one, zero two. If you've listened to early early episode, you've heard other phone numbers those now are no longer correct. These are the correct ones and Dow, we would love to hear from you guys four now take good care. I hope that you're coming up with your own ways of fighting back the doom and I would love to hear you know what you're doing, how, how doing that, and what your specific approaches that serving you will. Take Care, piece, and much love chairs.

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Facebook Depression Is Real - Manage Isolation Caused by Social Media

The Finding My Psych Podcast

43:12 min | 2 years ago

Facebook Depression Is Real - Manage Isolation Caused by Social Media

"So if this is the person that you're landing on our show this is jared killick and I am the host of the Funding Mike. Podcast at finding my psych. We seek to provide you evidence based and professionally informed techniques supporting personal lifestyle transformation. Each week we do this by either providing you commentary with myself or when we're lucky enough to have a guest on the show an expert in their field all the work that we do is designed to help you navigate the complicated bio psycho social and spiritual dynamics of lasting change each of these elements needs to be paid attention to if we expect some level of sustainability in the path that we create for ourselves. So if this interesting to you then you have absolutely landed in the right place. Welcome to our community of support and more importantly self-discovery. Hello and welcome. Thank you so much for joining me today So today this is episode number seventeen and today I want to really focus on social media and the negative effects of social media Largely in my mind negative effects being social isolation anxiety and depression. So today's episode is titled Titled Facebook. Depression is real manage isolation caused by social media and I want to be able to connect these dots about how I think facebook in particular out of all modes of social media as the primary culprit. Four mood problems that I think a lot of people that use the platform too much for some just a little depending on if they've experienced particular trauma on facebook but I think as we use social media tools such as facebook. I think that there are some side effects. Some negative effects that go way beyond issues of privacy which have been very popular in the media more recently starting with Cambridge. Look a couple of years ago or a year ago and then coming up to now so I want to be able to openly discuss from a positive psychology. Don't smoke from a positive health psychology perspective. How I what I see. Is the problem with facebook and social media in particular facebook and what? I see as maybe some potential solutions now. The solutions are towards the end of the show. Please skip ahead. Because I think I've got lots of cool things to say but I will say that the solutions that I propose are fairly dramatic and their solutions that I've actually used myself and so just hang on. Go through the process with me and let's dive right and I'm just a note that if some of you have noticed over the past couple of months that a our site was down be our podcasts. Were not refreshing etc We had a ton of back end issues going on with the funding project. So I just want to say a big thank you before we start talking about social media and its implications. I want to say a big. Thank you to everybody. Who who has you know wrote and said. Hey what's going on? I notice that your website is not working etcetera and people kept even requesting you know Different shows that that we could do in the future. People basically just didn't give up on us and I really really appreciate that. We've we've got our sorted out so to speak and I'm so everything is back up and working tickets boo But that doesn't mean that I think one thing we're waiting for is to catch up with us but I- tunes is now fully operational with our sixteen previous podcast episodes tune in radio etc. So if you were listening to us on any of those platforms and then just suddenly quit updating. Well it's back it's working and again thank you you know. These things are a journey and running. A website is is very complex and something that certainly I personally really really enjoy. Especially all that back end work. I while I enjoyed solving the problems that landed us into going into the ether for a couple of months the same time that also causes people to drop away from the show. So I'm really hoping we can make up some ground for things to be even better as we move forward Starting now we have been on air speed podcast for not on air. It's not live but we have been publishing podcast episodes and articles for just about year. Now just a couple of days shy of that. I think so. We're very proud to have made our one year mark of producing content. And if you're just catching up contents about it is positive health psychology and behavioral medicine health psychology stuff. That helps us. Kind of engage. Move FORWARD IN LIFE. Feel better about our existence on this earth and who we are and what we're supposed to do with that so again. Thank you for the commitment and as we keep driving that mission forward on a really quick file note before we jump into talking about social media and its negative implications. We have been getting several requests for people to be on the show. So of course that's all. That's very very exciting. I love to do podcast interviews especially locally because I can sit down live in Vancouver and I could sit down and be one on one with somebody. It's a very powerful feeling. It's very intimate experience. Getting to know somebody in their perspective so the problem generally is though we say no a lot and the problem tends to be that people are coming at us too strong wanting to sell a product. A sometimes it's book sometimes it's one times vitamins like that's not the industry that we're in and so we say no a lot so we just want to invite you if you want to be a guest on our show or if you want to write content for the funding my psych website. No problem do that you can. You can hit us up on the website. Just go to finding my psych dot com and you can see there will be a little email icon down the bottom right. Please reach out there that will take you to the email addresses support at finding my psych dot com. We also have a contributors page where you can actually send us a little proposal for what you want to Propose TO US too. Be a writer on our site and we have done that in the past. It's always worked out really really well but again we say no more than yes just because people come at us with content. That's not even similar to the work that we do. So if you're not into psychology right for one if you're if you're if you're so heavy in on the pathogenesis side of psychology right so another words. Let's discuss what's wrong and how we're going to fix it you know what the in terms of genetic ideology and Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah. That's the kind of stuff that probably doesn't fit us as much either we. This is more about proactive. Living and engage in your life and create in the life that you want to be not feeling determined by your the organic part of who you are that there's nothing you can do about your personality for instance if you have that perspective well wow. I'm not sure you'd fit so anyway. I drove on. I think that we love guests. We love guest writers. Please do reach out just beyond topic all right so look I really do believe that Social media is an absolutely amazing powerful tool that has the power to do really really great things at also has the power to do horribly a horrible things or hardly horrible. It has the power to destroy into to manipulate and I think to do massive harm. I I never last year. Since the whole Cambridge Cambridge Analytical thing kind of came out I just never cease to be amazed at how dark humanity really looks through the Lens of all the horrible things that go on social media that people have such great potential for horrible nece. There's that word again horrible but it it. Just maybe I've just always had this very rosy colored view rose colored view having rose colored glasses on about the goodness in humanity unfortunately social media twitter facebook instagram. All of it has provided an avenue for people with hateful voices and there seems to be just an overwhelming number of them. If sometimes even feel like it's the majority it's given them the ability to be anonymous enough or they reveal who they are. Everything's kind of a one way conversation that they can say some of the most horrible things that are on their mind. I just I just want to start with that and I'm not sure what it means about humanity in who we are as people as a people a world family part of me wants to make myself believe that. It's the exception. Not The rule. But I've started to see or believe it's more the rule than the exception online hate and negatively. It's just I don't know people use it that kind of hate online because it makes them feel alive and we all need some way to feel alive. I don't I don't know what it is but it's it's something we have to as a society learn to manage and right now we're still not managing it and we're just trying to find ways to put it in place for ourselves as individuals so when. I look at my own social media presence. I'm just GONNA pull up real quickly. I'm you guys. I'm sure have all used the screen time APP on your iphones. And I'm assuming android has something similar and when I look at for instance just today I have spent fifty five minutes on social media. Thirty one minutes on my iphone using productivity APPs like evernote or whatever And then reading reference fifteen minutes. I don't really know what that is and I look at the last seven days. I see it's been eight hours of productivity. Have been used eight hours of my time. In seven days has been used on. Pro- productivity APPS Seven hours each on social networking and. Then there's one hour two hours on something called other what other. I don't want to dive down into that but I just I think I'm shocked at how much time I spend and I also think that I'm probably not using it. Even a tenth of what other people are using it. Who are some times? People pick up their phones hundred times or more a day. I don't know so I wanNA start by acknowledging. I personally see social media as a tool I also go through phases in my life probably about once a year where I feel like I need absolutely cleanse from it which I have done recently which I'll tell you about So I think let's just start by looking at what I see as being the concrete then pros and cons of social media since I don't think social media itself as evil I think that evil people bad people horrible people use social media for horrible means. I think we also have an kind of innate part of who we are that needs validation and all of that and so I think we tend to be drawn to it. We tend to love that dopamine rush that we get from likes and comments. So let's just start by acknowledging very clearly. I have to pros of what I love about. Social Media. I had three very clear cons and I think this should set the framework for the rest of our time here today so I think the first you know pro of social media and facebook is who are targeting today is that it is a great way of connecting with loved ones in a in a very kind of centralized way that I don't have to run to different resources online to connect with people I in one place which is facebook. I think that For me like I have family back in Norway that I'm very close with. It's been an easy way of us. Communicating that's free actually and. I think that that's that's amazing. I have some friends from the distant past that I was particularly close to especially in graduate school that those are relationships. It's just nice to know that that person's kind of within reach of some kind. I do like that with people that you care about. I think facebook in particular is really hitting the mark. It's also though I'd say another pro would be is. It's free entertainment that it doesn't cost you if we if we go to a movie We're we're out forty bucks right and same kind of content. You could either see on your phone or on your TV at home. At the best example I suppose but it's free entertainment in the sense that I could be spending lots of money doing lots of other things. But I'm actually focused on something with in social media with connecting with somebody or maybe planning future podcast episode or whatever there's a there's a little productivity that comes with that entertainment as well so I just want to say you know free entertainment and something that yeah that. That's pretty hard to find any time you go out and spend time with people it's GonNa cost you some cash Okay anyway so. Those are two pros. I'd say my first pro is a good one. The second one's mediocre but generally how I see social media the goods that what is good about social media. I think the negatives there's three and people can make listen lists of each of these but I'm just going to give you three that it kind of come to mind right off. The Bat for me is that even though a pro was to is free entertainment. The Con- actually is that it's not actually quote unquote free. That advertisers are there to to put advertisement in front of you to take advantage of you to manipulate you to track. You know so that they can when you go to another website at some point that the item that you may have been interested in. They're talking about somebody on facebook. Actually POPs up in an ad later so I would say it's free entertainment so you don't pay for facebook. Maybe we should be. But it's not free completely for your. I've made some pretty big purchases. I'm based on stuff. I've looked up or entertained or exchange information with about say for instance as an example to be really really concrete. I use the polar or excuse me I use the the Garment Phoenix five plus as an athletics watch and of course like what was really interesting as I was talking with people on facebook about that later on I started getting these very clear adverts that seem to follow me everywhere antle remarketing right so I I dropped over a thousand dollars for this watch after that was of course it was my choice. I did it. Was I being manipulated by advertising. They didn't make me purchase it but over time it starts to look more and more appealing than if you start to doubt and then all of a sudden it's there and you see all the awesomeness about it then. Bang you bought the damn thing. So is it totally free. No it's not totally free. So let's see here. I said another conduct actually for me as a very significant con is that relationships have in reality a natural decay and that there are some friendships unless you carry with you forever and they are very small number of people five Ish Right. These are people. You're super close with that. You even don't even have to interact with very often but when you do it just feels really solid. It's like you you're just catching up like you've never been away from each other. Those are very. That's a very small number of people in your life and often friends even family. That's often friends family people. You can't choose away from their just their right so anyway. I think that most of the people in our life we that relationship has a life and it has a kind of getting to know that person and it feels really awesome and you have some things in common and then it just Kinda tapers away and it fills often for lack of a better word dies. Facebook destroys that natural nece that that natural of evolution life kind of peak in decay of relationships. And because the concept is that you know you can make connections. You could find people on facebook that connected with over your entire life. The fact is that even if some of those relationships I really thought were really cold the time I just don't want to know that person anymore. I'm not that person anymore. I've changed and evolved. I don't even want to be remembered as the person that I was back when I was hanging out with that individual and so I guess I'm this would be a Majorcan in my mind the other thing and it's related to the first point. I guess the third con would be just that the algorithms for facebook are very self serving for facebook's profit so again I guess it's free because I'm not working any cash but the algorithms are are really designed to engage you more spend more time on their site so that they can learn more about you so that they can put advertising in front of you. That's what they are. There are media advertising company. That's what they do so I would say. The algorithms are extremely self serving. They like to say you know. We have an algorithm out. That will help you stay in contact with the people you care about most but in reality that's not true at all it's really about screen time the more screen time they have the with you. They're competing for that with other APP. Say for instance like twitter et Cetera. The more screen time. They have more opportunity. There's a learn about you to put advertising in front of you and to make money. That's really what it's all about so There's no altruistic nece from Mark Zuckerberg He has no altruistic approach to this. This is about making serious serious money. So where does that take us? Then this is what I see as being just off the top of my head as being a couple pros some. What I believe is to be some major concert but what about people who start to experience especially young people. I'd say this really applies to teenagers or other vulnerable. People could be the elderly. Even I would really start to really started to think about that right now while I'm saying that a lot of them thinking maybe that's a whole demographic that could suffer on facebook in particular I'm talking about here is what I coined as facebook. Depression that I think there is a kind of mood problem that occurs because of facebook and I think that There are very specific reasons for why this happens so I do think there's a couple of things to address here so one of the things that keeps that kind of facebook engine going between us and the APP itself. Is this ongoing feeling. Especially if you have loads and loads of friends that you engage with quite quite a bit on facebook that ongoing filling that you're missing out on something and one of the reasons a lot of people just don't want to move away from using facebook because they have that sense that if they did they wouldn't be able to stay in touch and again they would be missing out on something so because of that. Fear of missing out on something that you you tend to pick up your phone multiple times. This also a metric. That apple has like the number of pickups at you that you that you do throughout the day a lot of that of course because of social media and so you pick up your phone you check any notice that nobody in the past couple of days. Let's say has liked or commented on any of the things facebook and instagram. That you've that you've put out there and so oftentimes what happens is the this creates a little bit of an urgency. People feel about lost sometimes forgotton. Some people even describe it as feeling a hollow which I think is very interesting and so then what you do because you're not getting any kind of likes or comments on sometimes you're very well thought out content that you're putting out there for everybody. You tend to then kind of up the any so what people will do is. They'll they'll post even more eye-catching material things that will get noticed sometimes excessively dramatic sometimes like. I like to call them hooks things like you're gone fishing. Hook you're trying to grab people with some mysterious thing that you say. Sometimes maybe it's a really bad thing you say like you're feeling super suicidal. People can go way out on a limb to get that attention So really what drives this is our need to be connected. That's just part of our human nature. But it's also I think there's this organic thing that's happening through behavioral psychology. That's affecting or organics that that you know what people are gaining from Laker. That comment is a bit of a dopamine hit dopamine rush the same kind of dopamine hit that you get when you have a little bit of food when you haven't eaten awhile you'll notice that little bit of a kind of a warm feeling that same dopamine head is what people get with those likes and so when you don't get likes of course that increases anxiety and then we do a behavior in an action And then of course you which is like post something more dramatic and then you get noticed people say stuff to you so that kind of dopamine up and down It really is says something. Really negative about the human condition Used to work with a fellow psychology professor of mine That what did he used to say he used to say that. We're all just canarian rats and I think in some ways he's he's really really correct that we are all kind of that lever will look for the food and when it's partial variable reinforcement. We aren't getting you know consistently the food. So we keep going faster and faster and faster and facebook is very much designed that way that we will keep going back to get the dopamine hidden. And we'll do it again and again and again it's like gambling partial variable reinforcement. So I think that this is. I mean some some manipulation. Facebook's part mean they did hire psychologist behavioral scientists to help design this and remember again only recently. Did they admit that they're actually a media? Company an advertising slash media company. And when you start to think that way and then you know that. They are behavioral psychologist or behavior. You know behavioral scientists to come in and design this engine of course. Rahhal disconnection rats. Now do you WanNa accept that kind of do and I'm least aware of it that that's what I'm doing. Does it change my behavior? Not a whole lot to pick up my phone when two times a day. Yes I do but this is part of the engine that supports the facebook quote Unquote facebook depression. That I'm talking about and it's that feeling of aloneness it's that feeling of increased social isolation because you're not actually out there engaging with the real world you're doing it purely digitally and that is absolutely not a life lived so just to note that even though. I'm saying Depression Mu Facebook Depression. I don't think and someone could challenge me on this and I would love to see some actual data on it but I don't think the symptoms are severe enough to be clinical depression or major depressive disorder. Really like to see research in the future to look at the symptomology around that but I think some of the symptoms are similar and In particular around the isolating that depress people typically do the waiting and watching as people are waiting and watching for engagement on engagement on the stuff that they're posting. So does it cause a subjective sense of feeling down. Yes I think it does in between dopamine hit of course it does but is that the clinical depression where you can't get out of bed for two weeks at a time you don't shower. You're either eat too much too little none of that. I don't think anyway research be told there's one or the other really horrible horrible effects that just takes absolutely you know no debate. It's real and that is emotional. Trauma caused by bullying on facebook in particular Certainly happens on twitter but twitter is a little bit of a different platform. But I don't think lends itself as much to this facebook as a more personal experience when people bully on there. It's quite I think more traumatizing again. Something to super debate. But just how I see it right now and we do know that this bullying at times has led to suicide and could we draw direct line from say facebook to the suicidal incident. Will no I that? It's this part of the formula but it doesn't mean that it's a direct effect bad people bad actors do bad things on line and they find their ways to manipulate and do harm and suicides. Sometimes you get the wrong person on the other end of that is the consequence so I think one of the things that contributes to these suicide rates that people are reporting. Is that while? I guess. I'm thinking here that while kids are checked out so to speak on social media from life. Right they're checked out from actually being out and doing things so are their parents and I think some of the responsibility lies there as well. Let me sound a little harsh. I'm not trying to be harsh. Guess I'm just trying to say that there is a wide spectrum that needs to be looked here a big bubble of consecutive concentric circles of influence that. I think we need to be really considering here. And when the parents are equally as checked out from day to day engagement with their kids because their lives are spent mostly online. I would say that contributes to this. There's also just another freaky thing I wanted to tell you about. If you haven't heard it go find out because this shit's fucking scary in China. This is real. This is real in China for quite a while now. I don't know I say a couple years. They've had these. I don't know how say it so I'm just gonNA say social police that go around and keep records of people's action so if someone stole some firewood from their neighbor and somewhat authorities find out. There's there's the social score that everybody gets. Their China has been experimenting in certain towns and cities and people carry that social score around with them everywhere. It literally has affected people's travel so whether or not they can actually get a train ticket versus a BUS TICKET AND FUTURE LOANS. So whether or not someone could get alone. That's really freaky freaky freaky. So here's where it's headed. Is I think enough I heard on? Cbc or CNN aware but what China is doing is rolling out. They had very powerful facial recognition infrastructure in their major cities. And they will be using that to then keep track of and Tad People's social scores so like the TV. That's all throughout London. For instance if you've ever been there it's everywhere it's ubiquitous. Everyone accepts it. That's the reality. That's how we fight crime. It's better than cops carrying guns etc so in China this the same CICI TV a TV stuff cameras everywhere but the dunes and actually tag people In on their facial recognition images with their social score and of course whether or not they're criminal or whatever. I just think I'm not making that up like a super scary step and if people think that that's only going to happen in China boy think twice the I don't know if I want to go so far as to accuse companies like facebook and Google and Aws Amazon etc of participating in such a thing. Because I don't know that they actually do or have. But how could they not? Because they're the biggest infrastructure Internet infrastructure companies. That are out there and assuming that they have participated at some level and suddenly in this up in China. Why wouldn't it be in another place like New York City or my city Vancouver BC? I don't know where's the line and I'm just more freaked out. That people aren't freaked out by that so I think that there's massive negative and the bullying. That's happened online in particular. Which is what. I'm most interested in that relates back to facebook depression. And you know that we we have a responsibility to do something with this and I think that if we don't that seriously I don't know I just think it party really think is just the end of civilization. I don't know how we can come out the other end of this being fully human. I'd I just while it sounds hopeless dark. That's not positive psychology as it because look the real issue here. Is that the more we engaged. Digitally more humans engage that way in With everything that we do whether it's productivity or social media or whatever the less we're actually engaging outwardly with other people so look let's let's just jump to some potential solutions and I think that the solutions are relatively dramatic. And I think that maybe a dramatic solution is where we need to go. Because where we're at right now has insidiously crept up on us for the last since two thousand seven and I think that I think that we don't even know where we're at right now. Okay so I'm going to propose three solutions. I'm solution number. One is go and look at the work by Jaron Lanier. He is one of my absolute heroes. Love this guy. He's got a book that came out just a while back Called ten arguments for deleting your social media accounts right now that is of course huge huge and dramatic but he advocates for people stepping out of social media. One hundred percents That's facebook instagram. What's up all of absolutely every bit of it For six months and he believes I agree that over the course of that time this will give people perspective on what is real what are the negative effects that social media has and that if many says that if those people come together at some level this could be very powerful group of people that all decide to do this to be able to try to reshape our society back to or towards a more positive direction. I don't know where we were was really that great so I should be careful there but certainly where we want to go and I don't believe social media's taken us down a path that's good at all so we can't throw it out right and even if we could I don't think we should. We gotta find a way to harness. What's good there and because there are really really good things so I would say it's about getting perspective and so Jerry laniers approach. I love think it's great. Go for it now. I say for me personally. I did my own version of this and I did for sixty days. So I literally walked away deleted reset all of my social media One hundred percent. It was on nothing. Non My computer. Not On my iphone on my counts were completely erased deleted. Obliterated there was none of this taking a break by doing the. I don't know what does facebook calls it something. I can't remember but you basically can go away for some time and then reactivate your account without any harm. I didn't do that. Did the full delete method. That takes thirty days of waiting for them to wipe it off their servers. I'm sure it's still there. But whatever and that gives that gave me a very fresh start. The one time that I did out gave me tons of perspective about the things that I love and I think that the one thing I noticed more than anything about time my perception of time is very different being back in the social media world that I use as a tool for marketing for this show and etcetera that my perception of time. Now that I'm back in it is that I have none. The reality is is. I'm not paying that much time but I always thinking about it when I'm not actually using it and so I think that it's not actually just screen time. It's the in between. What are you doing? Are You thinking about picking up your phone? Are you thinking about engaging with somebody or posting that particular item to get reactions? I just think that again. Get some perspective of six months Journal. Laniers approach is way too much. Do Sixty see it as a data refresh as resetting the the data button in your life and just gives you some sense of being in control. Yeah now that I'm back in. I want to go to the third solution. Now that I'm back in. I guess the third idea is that a try to engage. Even though I'm feel like I'm really struggling with this rule. I'm engaging at eighty twenty rule so in other words eighty excuse me. Eighty percent of my active living. Life is really focused on doing the analog choice right so instead of reading a magazine on an ipad which I think basically is crap anyway. A PDF file. It's just crap like reading that way actually purchasing the paper copy right and then gifting it to somebody else. I Love Reading The New Yorker Amazing Amazing articles reading on an IPAD is not even close to actually holding that physical magazine going through taking my time with reading it on the sky train or inbetween. Lots of busy stuff at work is just this nice little relaxing thing that I do so eighty percent of my life needs to be targeted as analog and so in other words if I'm going to a go out and take pictures because I'm also a photographer. Checkout KILLICK PHOTOGRAPHY DOT COM. I love doing that and really focus on taking images for myself that no one ever sees. I put out only certain images like in other words. I'm trying to say the majority of images that I actually take and process my own film and all that no one ever gets to see except for the people closest in my life so that to me is super important. Twenty percent of my life then. Eight hundred twenty twenty percent my life. I'll accept as digital. I will accept. That's how I engage with people in other words I should be writing more letters than emailing etc. I think this is extremely sound so easy but honestly I find it very very difficult because I feel like I'm either all in all out and that's probably just my personality but it's also the system doesn't want me to facebook as does not want me to use an eighty twenty rule. Eighty percent of my life is considered analog in twenty percent is considered digital. That's period. They want more screen time twitter once more screen time for me all of it instagram. They want more screen time because they put an advertisement in front of me. That's making money. Don't fool yourself guys again if you keep thinking that these companies have some altruistic approach to humanity or whatever like no there to make money. That's really what it's about so I think we have to engage with living and our lives are so short but every time I blink. I think another years gone by right. We need to experience life. We need to do with our senses right. That what are we. What can we feel tactile? What can we taste? What can we smell? What can we hear? How does our mind experience those senses? And I think we're getting far away from that right that and then and then that the experience has to be our own right that we don't going instagram to see how other people are living there crazy. Amazing life we need to be living our own crazy mazing life that we need to engage in our senses with our own senses our own bodies our own mind not through the senses of others otherwise. I just think we're kind of dead now right versus later on I. I don't know so here. Here are my thoughts on social media. Facebook depression is real. I think that it's not clinical depression. Although again let's look at some someone's going to disagree on. I'd love to see some literature out there but I think that the depression that's caused by through the Algorithms Algorithms that are there that encourages to post more their own human nature is etc and just the fact that social media is completely all about sell is totally self serving. Each of us do it. It's completely self-serving exercise right. I think that this is just a real we have to get control of it and whether you use Jaron Lanier as approach whether use my sixty day approach or whether you come back or can engage at an eighty twenty level analog to digital. I think that's genius. I think we should be doing it. And we should be conscious of it. We should make a conscious choice that when I pick up my phone and look at facebook or instagram. Or whatever that I'm making that I'm sitting there in that moment saying this is what I'm choosing to do versus another activity. That's analog in nature or real so to speak okay you guys thank you so much This is forty to forty five minutes of me sharing exactly what I think. In my own experience I would love to learn more about what you think and so be sure to hit US up at this. An email support at funding my psych DOT com. And you can go to our contact form which is even easier go to our contact form on funding dot com and drop us a line on there. Tell us what you think. Super Great Way. Engage all email you within the day if you do that. Okay guys you take care of peace and light cheers.

facebook twitter Depression social isolation dopamine China Jaron Lanier jared killick Vancouver Cambridge Tad People instagram Mark Zuckerberg US
AP One Minute Headlines Jan 08 2019 15:00 (EST)

AP Radio News

02:30 min | 2 years ago

AP One Minute Headlines Jan 08 2019 15:00 (EST)

"Order address. I'm Ed Donahue with an AP news minute. President Trump talks tonight to the country on why there is a partial government shutdown. This is counselor Kellyanne Conway Eric z to hear from their president their commander and chief why he sees this as a security and humanitarian crisis at the border shutdown day, eighteen President Trump is holding out for money for his border wall. Five point seven billion dollars on the house floor. This is Connecticut Democrat Joe Courtney. Stor president sign HR Twenty-one. We can have a debate about border security. There are some things that both sides will agree on a new court. Filing says former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort, lied about sharing polling data on the twenty sixteen presidential race with Constantine Killick an associated accused of having ties to Russian intelligence the information is in a redacted court filing today from manafort's lawyers. The Associated Press was able to view the redacted material because it wasn't properly blacked out. I'm Ed Donahue.

President Trump Ed Donahue president Paul Manafort Kellyanne Conway Eric z The Associated Press AP Joe Courtney Constantine Killick chairman Connecticut commander seven billion dollars
My Relationship With Alcohol - A Breakup Long Overdue

The Finding My Psych Podcast

44:58 min | 2 months ago

My Relationship With Alcohol - A Breakup Long Overdue

"Hello everyone. Thank you so much for joining me today. This is your host. Jared killick of the finding mice podcast. If this is the first time that you are joining us today Do know that we are all things. Health psychology and behavioral medicine. Our mission is to really provide you the tools From this field to be able to develop your own kind of transformative experience around wellness being your mental health psychological health social health physical health etc. We are certainly all on board with giving you everything that we have an arsenal to make that possible for you. So if you have a chance to head on over to our website at funny mike dot com and you'll be able to see all the types of content that we publish we publish articles and we have a podcast and we also have a community forum therefore you to be able to engage with other readers and listeners of the work that we do so today i am going to be Sharing i think another very personal fight of me And i want to be able to get into my own personal story around the influence that alcohol has had in my life both good and bad And to talk about kind of where. I want alcohol to be with me. Kind of moving forward in the future and so This is kind of one of those areas that i tend to avoid really talking about. But it's an for reasons that you'll discover as you listen long But yeah. I mean just like previous episode where i shared about my struggle with depression. I wanna share with you my relationship with alcohol and what that means and Yeah moving forward Because i think there's been some pretty decisive cultural moments Over the decades. And certainly we've had one now Post kovic which is causing. Certainly for me a reexamination of many things in my life. So as part of this. I'm gonna promote to ios apps. I don't know if they're on android you'll have to check but these apps will help address kind of what you want to do with alcohol. Moving forward whether that's from say control drinking approach or abstinence we promote both Certainly depending on where you're at and what you want in severity of its presentation so if you want to provide feedback for us we certainly welcome you to do so you can. The simplest method is just drop us an email support at funding. My psych dot com. It could also be podcast at finding my site. Co dot com both of those work and it's finding f. i. n. d. i n. g. my m. y. Psych ps y. c. h. finding my psych dot com. The other thing you can do is if you head on over to our website. You're gonna notice on the right hand panel of The front page. I'm some phone numbers in those phone. Numbers you can call. And leave a voicemail because we don't pick it up. It goes right to voicemail. I'm tell us what you think. providers your comment. Ask us your question and we will up. Potentially use that on air In a future episode and respond to it that way. I think that could be very fun. People do do this on occasion. I you could also use those same phone number to drop us attacks. And i will certainly do the same thing as always. We are on all the social media outlets are really designed to connect with you our readers and listeners. All right so let's just let's just dive into it. I do think for me. This feels more like a liberating conversation or Liberating topic me talking at you Then i think one that is burdensome but certainly as i was putting together the show notes today i i went through various emotions In talking about alcohol. And i think really what a central figure it is in my life. But i think that everybody's life but most people's life and even if you're a abstinence it's still the major focus in your life because that's what you have to think about every day to not go back to it so i think that this is a is a worthy topic because of its Because of its impact and I'm really telling my story for some very specific reasons and I wanted to tell it. I think because i myself am i think. Post cove ed going through my own cut realizations around around alcohol and what i've noticed about myself and people around me as alcohol. Consumption went way up during covert we are not opposed copen society yet. And i think i slip up here and there and i say that we're getting close but i do think cova will be part of us for a very very long time and i think we're at a stage now where we need to be looking back instead of racing forward to get through it and get past it and get. Leave it behind us. I think we need to be looking back at both pros and cons of what happened during that time. Alcohol is one of those things that i saw it. it was ubiquitous. My own drinking went up. Those around me drinking went up and it just not out of boredom. But i think out of managing this crisis. I think there is a firestorm of problem coming. And i think that's what i'm speaking to. It's interesting because in prep for the show and picking the featured image and all of that looking through my old instagram. That goes back years and years and years I have lots of pictures of alcohol of expensive wines of martinis and That kinda thing and it was funny. Because i was having a romantic kind of experience and looking back at that Looking back at those images. And i felt kind of almost like i'm doing that in for this show into started to meet. Make me think don't even go into this today. Do i want to talk about alcohol. Because i'm not painting alcohol today in positive light What i think the cognitive dissonance or the challenge. I'm going through. Is that what i realize. Is that during cova. We all did drink a ton more and there truly is a firestorm of problem coming. Here's what i mean by that I think we all collectively as a society are post traumatic When it comes to cova d- i think that the emotional ramifications of cove. Ed are to be seen him. I think we all contained are emotional response to get through it because you had to every day. We had to show up to work every day. Many of us right we just leave up to the people in our lives every day and that requires certain amount a certain amount of putting your own kind of struggle. Aside to be able to be present in those situations. I think there is a firestorm post traumatic stress coming. And i don't think we're ever going to be as we were pre cova vid And i think that those who have ramped up their alcohol use as an example. Or whether for you. It's marijuana use or pill use or whatever. I don't see why that would go away because we're going to be at some point. He quote unquote post copen society. So i think it deserves conversation. And i don't want to say covert again this episode. So sorry the thing. I think in terms of why went to tell the story. Besides just my own overall concern for what we're all going through and we'll be going through Is that. I'm just getting older. And alcohol has had a life with me. Since i was super young and i am more focused on my personal wellness and health and wellbeing. Now than i than i ever have and part. That's getting older. That's i'm thinking naturally. That's what we do but i'm very obsessed about making sure my last ten years on this earth or not going to be sick. I want to leave this earth kicking. And so i think that's i think that's part of it is. I'm just getting older I'm also starting to acknowledge more and more own behavior when i drink and Other people's behavior The kinds of things that people post on social media kind of things that people say and do i would say that alcohol just by its very nature is is subtractive alcoholic subtractive by. Its very nature. You know that's that's certainly at that. It's it's a negative magnet and other people like to say a negative amplifier Say subtractive because it's taking away from something right it's We might so for instance drink to seek a positive emotional experience but we really end up with his The opposite Maybe not immediately you know when the chemical is working on our hormones and all of that and making us feel quite amazing adrenaline etc. But as the night goes on cumulatively. it's subtractive and the next day cumulative cumulatively it's subtractive so with all of this said i'm going to just make it very very clear I am not an alcoholic. And i could be one. I suppose in the future if i didn't. It wasn't mindfulness on this topic. But i'm not an alcoholic i Ultimately what it is is that. I hate the influence at a house on my life. I don't have a tragic story. i don't i haven't done some. I have done bad things when drinking which some of you'll hear today By i have not done. Horrible things I haven't lost a job because of it. I haven't lost a relationship or marriage. Because of it if i treat people poorly yeah. I've done some pretty stupid things but Yeah i so. I just want to say i want to honor in the point of me saying that is really to honor those that truly do struggle with it on a moment. My mo- by on a moment by moment basis through out the day that it truly is part of their consciousness and awareness that they even years of being sober This is the most important goal in their life to make sure it's the netting to make sure everything doesn't fall apart. They're surprised he becomes their netting. And i wanna honor that so. I'm not going into this with that experience. I'm going into this with a. I went culture to talk about alcohol in a much broader. Bigger way that we shouldn't be talking about alcohol good for all of us bad for the alcoholics because they ultimately what we insinuate as. They can't handle it. They don't have self control or worse yet. They have bad genes. I think we should be talking to alcohol. And a very broad cultural way about how we we could've regulates our emotions through alcohol and therefore later on amplifying really poor ones and anxiety in the future and then we drink more to feel better so it's a little bit like that cycle with cigarettes. It's no different so i think anyway. I won't go into so much philosophy. But i really think that that is. That's that's important i. I've always been a bit shocked by people who can care less one way or the other about alcohol because even though i don't have an alcohol problem I it's not something i've ever cared less about. It's something i have done regularly and look forward to which again you will. You'll hear about as we go so with that you know. Look my story is again very a basic i again. I don't have the tragic thing that's happened. That's made me stop and evaluate Alcohol besides again. When i mentioned earlier about our current pandemic uh situation it it does exist in my family and i think that's worth talking about so my parents both drank up until Quite heavily Up until i was probably six. Or seven i remember. I remember some of that They're kind of pre putting alcohol to the side of my behavior. it was pretty wild And so i grew up in the seventies Was born in seventy two. And i distinctly remember a six or seventh birthday where there was a there was a party. There was a brawl. There was some fighting that went on. There was some tears. There was some beer cans being thrown. There was screaming. There was a lot of adults and a lot of kids. And i think that was the last memory i ever had. My parents drinking Never never sought after that. Different story though for my Grandmother her was esther. And you know she. Oh yeah she's complicated. i'm. I'm damn sure she was bipolar. One i have very little doubt about that. Actually known what i know now. as a clinician and mental health professional etc. Adjust damn sure poorly treated not treated at all. She used alcohol and i have pictures of her Been given to me by my mother where you can just. There's just a look You can't mistake. She was very unhappy person And there are many many stories about how i would say the lightest story Was that she you know would a. She was given an because of her drinking to get an allowance at a grocery store for purchasing groceries for her family And she would go in and buy really expensive roast or something like that and then try to sell it. Outside the grocery store take the cash and then by alcohol that is the lightest of the stores. I will not share those other stories. Because i want to honor her. I want to honor my mother and her sister who were very damaged by that and I think that that's probably what voted. What motivated my mother just to get away from it altogether They are all amazing people. In even though i talk about my grandmother's drinking wine Ultimately she was just a very sad person and But there were some good times to. And i just think it's not by pointing out other people's behavior it's not trying to put them in the. It's a black and white thing. It's not good people good or bad. It's just really recognizing the the hard core nature of alcohol and the grip that it has on people. It's harsh so yeah my grandmother. I've never forgotten her. She died in nineteen ninety-seven as i remember. I remember just got out of grad school A member does not seen her for many years Up to the point where she died. And i never really had much of a relationship with her but the central factor was alcohol and she would always keep she go many months and years without drinking As she got older then she'd always keep like a big huge bottle of vodka inner closet. I remember seeing that. My sister and i were visiting her once and i remember seeing that she was showing it off and i remember just going even then thinking well. That's kind of a set up for failure like why would you do that And one another time into the future. She jumped off the ferry For the town. We're living in and petersburg. I think it was alaska and she was trashed. She was just trash and so we kind of helped her sober up and she stayed with us for a while. And that didn't go very well but anyway You know that's my grandmother. So when i think about alcohol and my family i think that's maybe another thing that i'm a little bit. Why a little bit cautious of it. Even though the genetic studies the haired ability studies on alcohol or are quite all over the map and and not. there's not really good consensus about the genetic nature of alcoholism you know that. That's truly the facts. Go look at the heritage ability studies twin studies. It's it's not You know fully evident that the connection is clear but even without that You know we kind of have intergenerational pain. I think that we're just getting better talking about now. Compared to back then we have just learning about how we coped. that's intergenerational We learned how to cope from the people around us. that are older and so Yeah very important for me I started drinking when i was fourteen. I remember what i had. I think i had to wine coolers i with with some buddies of mine saint her friend's house it was well planned and i don't remember having a shockingly amazing experience with it but i remember feeling guilty Because alcohol was a very sensitive topic her family based and everything. I just shared And then there were some occasions As i you know. Continue to walk through my teenage years. Where i got quite obliterated But it wasn't never something sought out. I wasn't i can't remember ever using alcohol to cope. You know emotionally or to alter my mood on purpose. It was associated. With a time. I wasn't i wasn't really a rebellious kid so it wasn't kind of out of you. Know giving the big middle finger you know to society and fuck the police all that that wasn't it It just there. Were other people around me. That i saw that people that craved it and sought it and Yeah just very different for me. I i guess that's the part of me. I don't. I'm glad. I just never sought it to feel better. I had lots of reasons to drink. I think things were kind of rough There was a lot of emotional pain in her family This wasn't the way the you know that i coped. So it's it is very very interesting. But i i think that's why as a piano forty nine year old. I'm turning fifteen another ten months. I'm eleven months. I i'm just weary of it and cautious of it an respectful. That's the word of alcohol. But then when i went to university i was a you know for the most part a very straight a students and alcohol at that point Ted start to get used as a coping strategy. In specifically it's when i came out And my first boyfriend Was my sophomore year in university and it happened to be that first semester was the worst semester out of all of my six or seven years and university That i spent an undergraduate graduate school. There were other times when i drank Like a binge you know going to parties and just drinking and being sick for three or four days but again nothing that i ever sought out. It was more of this cycle. That i got into a little bit later of Work hard play hard. Alcohol was seen as As kind of a reward for working hard and so studying was very studious. I was you know i was doing publishable research By my junior year as an undergrad which was unheard of like i. I was just very Whatnot ambitious just really went for whatever i could. That was difficult. That was my thing but also there were times when i drink to celebrate my hard work now my success but my hard work For sure so. I i would say again coming out. I would use it because it was very difficult. It was very difficult to kind of manage the a parents reaction to me being gay. That was really hard. It's taken years and years and years and years and years to work through that Alcohol certainly had made that feel better for a bit but again it wasn't something i really targeted. It was more of a consequence As i as. I've gotten older past graduate school and gone on. I've just kind of fallen into this trap of convincing myself that i you know Deserve expensive things and There's this whole thing called the french paradox. With alcohol with wine in particular with wine with specifically it's wind the french paradoxes. That you're we're kind of taught you know that there's this culture around wine it's about being sophisticated. Intellectual is about food and that it's good for you. You know look at the habit at every meal. I mean do they right. So but the paradox. Of course is dat alcohol no matter how you how you deliver it Wine is the delivery system. It's still alcohol and has it's not healthy. Let's get right to it You want to argue that the tannin's that are in Vital nutrients or whatever. They're the tannin's that are in. You know wind scan. That gets the mix the color of the wine. And all of that. Okay you know go for it but again alcohol's alcohol tobacco tobacco whether you chew it whether you smoke it or whatever so snuff you could. You could actually Sniff it up your nose if you wanted anyway So yeah i definitely over. The years fell into the french products. Have spent crazy money on wine. Crazy money And i i find that now in a bank account. I could've bought a down payment for a house. I have no no doubt And again i'm just starting to send a little bit snobby. I'm not i. It's just a way of thinking you know You get all this education you you go through grad school. Use think that you start to fit into a particular category and that comes with certain things and Wine and all of that stuff. It's part of it and it can be made part of it when it really really isn't So i will say Even though i have asserted a couple of times here. I am not an alcoholic. Let's be really honest though I can think because of this whole dynamic of work hard play hard or we work really hard during the week and reward yourself of kind of conscious mentality It is for the past thirty five years. I could easily say. There is more weekends that i've had a drink Than not very few weekends in the last thirty five years. When i haven't had a drink if i was to pick a percentage easily eighty percent of every weekend Involved alcohol one way or the other Sometimes of course very little sometimes more So so yeah. I i i would say. This is my story with alcohol. It is an insidious one is one wrapped in probably not my genetic makeup so much because again i've never been drawn to it so much. I've only sort of used for coping. When i was coming out but it is something that has creeped into my life and stayed there with its hooks So could have i ever developed into an alcoholic. Yes in the main reason. I would say that is i would say the one thing that's always kept me in check is a my career. I have worked so hard to get to where i'm at at each juncture in my career. And anytime i brushed up against fucking that up. I pulled my head out of my ass quickly so the one semester in unita talked about earlier where my grades were less than ideal They weren't horrible. I mean i'm a perfectionist. But it was horrible for me. That was all it took and so i just made sure i never repeated that. It's the same now. I won't let anything. I've never gone. Well barely really rarely gone to work. Hung over Yeah so i would say. That's the one thing. I've had my career and i think out of respect to myself that has been my motivator because i just come from nothing and my parents worked so hard to raise us with nothing. Rubbing pennies together. It was nothing. I don't even know how to express that more Which makes them pretty phenomenal people. The day focused on us. That much. And i know what i think early on. I knew what it meant. If i didn't succeed it meant working the rest of my life in a fish cannery. Or knowing that i i think the worst thing is is just knowing that i could have done something more. But didn't that's what i would have lived with. I live with that sense now. Anyway like that's funny So anyway Yeah so there. It is i. I have some observations about alcohol That kind of tie into my own story. That i just shared there but but basically as i've said earlier alcohol is subtractive in nature and i i i do believe that so it is a negative amplifier as other people say and so That is that is language to remember if you look at if you step back far enough from a drinking episode An event you will be able to see that it is more negative. It is subtractive pulls away. Takes away things from you by. Its very nature. It is not additive Coming together as a family or coming together with a group of friends should be about coming together. Alcohol shouldn't be the reason people come together so so someone might say it's additive in the sense that it makes a social that brings us all together but we'll but why do we need alcohol to do that. What is it providing us. What tool is giving us like lowered inhibitions ability to speak more. When you're kind of socially you know like myself inept at times you know. Or socially avoidance Is kind of a nice way to put it and sure okay. It's helping you get through that but maybe we should be working on that corey issue than using alcohol is the lubricant to get us there so The one thing about alcohol to and again. This is going back to my absolute love for the work by andy ramage He put me onto this idea about. When you remove alcohol from your life you have suddenly tons and tons of time. So alcohol consumed time. It consumes productivity. So if you're not spending cut. I think typical cycle for alcohol. If you look. It's not just the drinking a few hours that you do. It's leading up to it. It's the having to go purchase it. It's the looking forward to it. That's all part of your consciousness. That's time it has the next day Feeling crappy physically feeling crappy emotionally Worrying or obsessing. This is what i do that. I said something that hurt. Someone's feelings or i truly did. And now i've really got some work to do so I would say again. All of that is time. It's amazing when you don't drink and you wake up the next day and you're like okay. What am i gonna do with my day. That's such a great experience. It's not what you say. When you're even mildly hung over You're just thinking you're mildly hungover. Then you're thinking about your nights. And i do and then i think about what i sadden. Who ignored who. I pay attention. To just this obs- crazy obsessive Bit of it so alcohol Storytelling is the other thing. I wanted to say it is. It is not unifying and it does not build meaningful relationships so so in other words. If what i said earlier about friends getting together and if alcohol is a central piece of that at those tables typically is a conversation about telling stories about oh remember that time when so and so got drunk or whatever else and what i'm saying there is that sounds again like fun it's laughter. It's us all agreeing on what's funny but then some sense of community that you build based on that but i would say if that is all you and your friends are talking about when you all get together That is that that certainly lacks Longevity and meaningfulness meaningfulness in the end. Yeah yeah so. What i said earlier to just going to reemphasize as another observation. But i'm just going to a little bit differently Hangovers are over in a day or two an older you. The worst that gets by the way But post drinking event anxiety last for days so for me if i drank a bottle and a half or two of wine which is a whole lot of on a saturday Then i'm feeling crappy on sunday. I'm feeling crappy on monday. Maybe tuesday i'm starting to feel pretty good. The physical part of the hangover is pretty pretty. Good by sunday night when you wake up monday morning but this lingering anxiety it can last for a very long time sometimes even into wednesday or thursday just depending on how your body reacted and whether you're hydrated at the time and all of that so so yeah kind of this post episode anxiety. Is this thing that lingers and it consumes you it really does come down to time because of the anxiety that you you kind of run around with buzzing and a couple of weeks off of alcohol. Three weeks four weeks for sure that anxiety it just kind of disappears. It's kind of nice also again other observation. I've said this in the past. I'm to say again. Is this alcohol reward cycle. It consumes us in the end. So this kind of work hard. You know to alcohol reward cycle like if i i. I have accomplished much this week. It was such a hard week at work. Let's go get a couple bottles of wine That reward cycle overtime. I'm certainly consumes us. Because we're going through this constant cycle of of like just being worn down throughout the week feeling better in an hour or two or three or four in a drinking episode and then feeling crappy for days then by wednesday thursday feeling better etc and so Again that is that is a harsh harsh cycle to go for your brain harsh cycled to go through emotionally okay. That's at that is that is my observations guys. And i paint this picture. Because i think that alcohol is to be respected. I do not think alcohol is evil I think that it is just this ubiquitous part of our society that we give a pass to and it kills lots of people it is. It has potential to do wild harm to remove you from your relationships and your career. The things that you've worked so hard for we don't give a lot of things are life that kind of influence and we tend not to dabble in things that kind of creep into that they have that power to harm us at that level tended. Dabble there. It would seem weird but we do with alcohol. It's quite strange The more i think about it yeah. It's quite strange in none of this. Am i preaching anything i. I'm trying to draw awareness to my own pattern in admitting that to you in this very public way so that you can reflect yourself on your relationship with alcohol and it is a relationship. It's not a matter of using or not using it's to what end and how is it. How is it used to help you. that's what you think it's doing any way and it kind of is it's it's holding certain emotions back. It is elevating other emotions that you want to have. It's helping you forget It's used as a coping tool but anyway. This is all about drying awareness. So i wanna spend some time kind of entering into this alcohol-free commitment that i'm making right now for myself. I'm kind of twelve or thirteen days here soon into it and the alcohol-free commitment is not about me being abstinent. All of that's what i'll be doing is being alcohol-free i'm not trying to preach a or a approach and the main reason is that That is rooted in this kind of concept of pathogenesis that there's something kind of inherently wrong with the person Or they're coping that needs to be kind of exit excavated examined and purged. I don't believe in the disease concept necessarily although again there are some people that are so attracted to boos as early as they can remember and they continue to be like. They crave it i. I wouldn't acknowledge that situation but at the same time i don't like i don't like promoting the abstinence. I don't like promoting not drinking scene because by way of promoting this pathogenesis style thinking. I think what. I'm learning right now from again. The work by andy ramage in particular is that it's about looking at a relationship with alcohol and deciding to take breaks from it if that break turns into a life of not drinking. That's amazing sandy. Ramage himself Started this thirty days. No beer that became ninety days and then one year no beer or whatever and it took him a while to get it. He tripped up a few times. But then it just kind of sunk in. he's not. I don't think he's had a drink for five six seven years. They're not promoting abstinence. They're promoting pause. Take a pause step back from it. Look at how it's affecting your life. You may decide at that point after you've gained some insight about it that you just don't want it anymore to me. That is a very non pathogenesis approach. We're not trying to identify how you through trauma or how you've been damaged as a person or damage others or whatever for why you drink. It's actually just ignoring that for the most part. It's actually just saying okay. Step back look at your alcohol use. Can you take a break. What can you learn from that time if you go back to drinking after the new do these periodic pauses every so many months for so many months. That is pretty positive. I think that's the approach. I don't know where i'm heading with it. I'm having looking at those pictures of expensive wines. All that that. I've shared with my husband and good people in my life and all of that. There's a romantic thing. That's built into it so i know that i'm having a bit of a tug of war inside myself so in other words i couldn't declare to you today that i'm never going to drink again. That would be ridiculous. I think when. I can declare to you that i'm on a ninety day thing right now and i'm twelve days into it. I tried this back if you followed the work that we do. I tried this back around christmas but that was dumb. There's chris a was co- vid said the word sorry because earlier i wouldn't so it was that But christmas and new years. I mean i think i was feeling pretty cocky about it at the time so i'm going back at it again and And knowing that i can definitely accomplish this the differences. I'm pulling in so supports my brother's been sober for ten years He made the choice. That's great encouraging an amazing and I've also i'm i'm also trying to get involved in some online communities around No drinking so so yeah anyway to to be able to accomplish this then i think i just wanna. I'm not getting any money from these people. No one is. These are not affiliate links. That i have in our show notes or anything like that. We don't do any of that But i do have to apps. That is taking me a while to find these two apps that i think are really really good and you would choose one or the other based on the journey that you're on so the first the first app would be last. It's the same people that do the intermittent fasting At zero to same exact people so this app is called less and think of less as a controlled drinking approach so in other words you're used to drinking say fourteen drinks a week Say two or so at a time. but you want to get that down to say eight just plain numbers and you know you would feel better if you didn't right Drink the entire fourteen. Which is around the quote unquote allowable amount of alcohol before it starts tapping into health problems. Personally think fourteen drinks a week is a fucking whole lot while so and people that use that fourteen drink rule. You can't have them all in one night. You've got gotta spread that out no more than three in a particular city so anyway just saying let's say you were doing your fourteen and then you wanted to cut that down to eight a week. Maybe four week. That kind of thing Less is really good at keeping track. And telling you got over it and it helps you keep track of generally how much you spend in the amount of calories in alcoholics. You're consuming again control drinking. I am all into it of. I've got a link to an article published. Uncontrolled drinking with even a a kind of spreadsheet that you can use to Practice control drinking. i think it's super smart The other approach those if you're trying to take challenge like myself And really testing the waters out around. What would it be like to be completely abstinent. So I'm not i haven't required any alcohol withdrawal or anything like that But i want to be completely absent for alcohol for a period of time. Some might say forever. sure go for it But i don't want to make that point really clearly though any changes in alcohol that you make make sure you talk to your physician. I i'm i'm gonna i wanna make that extremely clear You may be drinking more than you think. And so I wouldn't i. It has not Professional or prudent for me to say to you in a podcast episode stopped drinking right now or decrease your drinking such and such amount you need to see. Alcohol is a if you're drinking a lot in particular You run risk of withdrawal. That comes in many forms and it's worse case seizures so pleased to see your physician For this so the second app. I'm not telling you wanna tell you now it is called. I am sober. So i am. Sober is really absence based And it's designed to kind of chart your periods of time without alcohol. It provides a community of support as well so less is really about control drinking and the. Im sober i. S app is very phenomenal. there's a lot of crappy ones out there. This one's not a do go check it out thing. I'm gonna tell you guys as we leave Is do go check out my own journey. there is a link at the bottom of the show notes. That is about the ninety day alcohol-free challenge it takes you right to our forum. Aware i occasionally will just pitch in there about how i'm doing with that you can sign up for the form it's extremely easy and tell me what you think. Share your own journey. I would just absolutely love that And yeah there it is guys. I've gone on for almost forty five minutes and so i didn't think this would take twenty. I hope that me sharing my story is helpful to you and do go check out the apps do go check out our community form all sharing my own journey and any advice you can give of course that would be great As well i wanna hear about your own experience. You guys again. Thank you peace and light and yeah have an absolutely amazing weekend cheers.

copen society cova Jared killick andy ramage depression Ed petersburg unita alaska Ted corey Ramage chris seizures
Defining Health Psychology and Behavioural Medicine (Theory and Practice)

The Finding My Psych Podcast

55:34 min | 3 months ago

Defining Health Psychology and Behavioural Medicine (Theory and Practice)

"Hello everyone and thank you so much for joining me today. This is your host. Jared killick with the funding. My psych podcast. I'm today's episode. Is going to be a bit of a deep dive. I'd say very significant one into our. We define health psychology and behavioral medicine. Kind of in terms of actually applied theory. Doesn't that already sound kind of boring. I hope it's not actually like we are actually at our forty sixth episode here and the whole finding myself project is based in health psychology and behavioral medicine and that is my clinical background. That is my. That's what i went to school to be My graduate degrees in clinical psychology. And then it went on for a kind of a clinically focused practice and research emphasis in health. Psychology and behavioral medicine. Come soon after that and i. I think it's really interesting is that we've gone so far almost like this inductive reasoning approach. Like we've gone so far in talking about lots of bits and bobs around say cognitive distortions and the changes model and running. But we've never put the bread over it and then umbrella would be. What's the whole. What pulls it all together into one consistent framework so today is really doing that. On the forty six episodes. Maybe it's something. We should have done. The i i don't really know. Just how my brain works. I guess and so i'm all of these things do come together in one way. And that is within the framework of the field of health psychology and behavioral medicine. And so we believe firmly here at funding my psych as we like to provide the public this information's information that you would normally have to go see a clinician for or wait till you get ill. And then they bring in someone with a specialty Into your hospital room etc to start working with you on some of the lifestyle aspects In behavioral aspects of things that lead to poor health outcomes ultimately the goal is that we all feel good emotionally that we are all physically healthy than in that last decade or two of life because this is all temporary that we are healthy and not Bound to a wheelchair or a bed or living with preventable chronic illness like type two diabetes etc so So yes today. I'm going to provide that framework. And i think i. It's just good timing. Because i'm feeling like we were doing a series of back to basics eps episodes and I think today is really is really kind of that building block. That's needed for everything else to make to make total sense. I'm going to leave a link in the episode outlined today That is a really good. Pdf reference document for has a lot of elements. i'm talking about specifically and so If you always go to the show notes and fighting my sinuses episode number forty six. You will find a very detailed outline of everything we're talking about and i think that can help you. Probably my style would be as you know. Listen kind of absorbed. You which what's interesting to you and what you can and then go back and read the outline on just kinda cute your memory. I think by the end of that. You would have it all very well. So we're going to be talking a lot about theory. We're gonna be talking some about practice and we really want to substantiate what place in the healthcare world in the field of behavioral medicine does. I'm health psychology have so Anyway okay there. We go. And i also want to spend a little bit of time today talking about a couple bits of feedback that we got and one is one is very interesting. I would say a couple months ago. We dropped The use of a phone number for the website. And i think we dropped our community site where some members would go in interact on various topics. Things you know. Maybe some top vegan diet or topic around running. Or some of the more specifics. We'll talk about today around psychology and some people have actually. I thought people weren't really interested in that and it turns out that people are so We may or may not. I just need some time to think about it. is is bring those elements back to the website. One thing that's a little bit funky is over the years recovering. Our third year of this we have used various phone numbers as an example where people can leave voice mail or text message. He know giving your comments here questions that we can put on air. And what's really interesting is a few of those floating around out there. And i feel like i'm just building confusion bike doing it again and building get in another phone number to me. Give those up. You've got a you purchase. One you've got you can't get the one used to have to get a new one service. We use on his desk as an incredible. And so anyway we're gonna we're going to contemplate that Because i'm really surprised at the number of requests to that people want to connect more than just the email that we provide. We do have a chat widget on the website that gets us sometimes but again some for some reason people are really interested in the phone number and sending text messages so there it is The other thing. I got that is a very good correction. Someone pointed out something. i said. That was extremely wrong. And maybe it's just. I was talking too fast and i wasn't thinking about what i was saying but i i'm going to just cleared up right now. I'm in the previous episode. I talked about is not be It band syndrome This is ill tibial band syndrome. This is i. I noted it as a I think i said something about how it being Like tendonitis in really important. It really isn't tendonitis. So tendonitis is inflammation of actually the tendons selves. That touched ligaments attached bones there. Is this other element. That'll people don't talk about enough and if you're an athlete an athlete at any kind. You've had some problems with this other element and this other element is faster. So if you've ever taken an a. p. class and you've seen cadavers you've seen pasha and fasha. Is this tissue. That supports give structure to your skeletal system and muscles. It is a connective tissue. That isn't horribly it's stretchy but not like muscles doesn't have the same kind of contract expand mechanism. it's basically create some tension so that things can say together and fascist super complicated actually has nerve endings inside of it. It is built up of multiple multiple layers and as we use certain fasha. Those layers get thicker when fashion gets pissed off From us or rubbing against Bone satra like an it be syndrome or illegal tibial band syndrome The can thick and a little bit more. There's fluid very light amount of fluid in between the various layers of fashion in a given area and so that fluid can actually thicken. You've all probably heard of plantar fasciitis. Which is the the fashion in the bottom of the foot. I had a little trouble with that myself. Very common with people Forty plus between forty and sixteen and really what that is. Is this connective tissue. That's designed to kind of create. Some tension hold everything together can get pissed off and so when that happens of course he does require some specific treatment. Most the time physios physiotherapists will recommend not just isolated fash itself but treating the whole your calf muscle your tendon. All those things because they're all connected and interestingly enough if you start stretching your calf muscle how much greater your fashion. Your lower foot started to feel so anyway. I ben syndrome is not a type of tendonitis. I did say that. Darn sure. I did and i just wasn't thinking it really is about a fasha and i think what does the faster call their thing. It's called the tara fashion or something like that. It is it is. It is is very large. Fasha that runs across the thigh. And so for our fashioned. Lata is what it's called l. A. t. a. And so go. Check it out if you have. It be syndrome or illegal tibial band syndrome. That band is the fashion so good correction. We always welcome that. Sometimes i get talking too much talking too fast. And i don't know what the fuck i'm saying so there it is okay. So let's let's try to his Were about to go. Because i do think again. This can get really heavy. It's it's heavy on cut of definition heavy on theory We talk a little bit about my approach to treatment and how to conceptualize all of this Again really quickly. What we're trying to do is show how the field of health psychology and behavioral medicine And i'll talk about the difference of those in a couple of seconds but how that is really the framework to all of the things that we've been talking about in the last couple of years in since inception of this podcast and You know really I'm going to break this down into some very specific sections. It might not make sense at onset but just hang with me. So i'm going to talk about the definition of health psychology and behavioral medicine. What is how were those. Two things different and I think that's really important. I do get that question sometimes. i want to spend some time defining illness and We often think of illness as something that happens to us. And we don't think about how much our own behavior has contributed to illness especially chronic disease. And so i'm we'll be talking about that. The actual definition of illness in terms of its origin. It's aetiology and work comes from. I'm then point number three which is a fairly long one. I'm we're to get into the role of health psychology behavioral medicine considering our belief systems and What how our belief systems really do impact the probability of getting help or engage in some preventative measure yeah With with a health or health outcome focus Being healthier feeling better emotionally psychologically physically and all of that then i wanna talk about the fourth point will be How we actually promote change and we've talked about some of these elements in the past We'll talk a little bit about motivational interviewing for instance very briefly but We'll talk about how we promote change in ourselves and individuals It's a really good conceptual framework to look at in specifically we're going to be talking about the quote unquote health belief model that was developed in the sixties bri rosenstock and then of course later allah validated by Individually and becker. So again. I think you can hear we're going to get really deep into theory but i do think this building block is super essential for you understanding. What how this all fits together. These aren't just random skills that we've thrown out there And we really want to kind of build that framework so like fasha. Wow isn't that interesting so it is. We're we're putting the fashion together thing that holds all of this all these theories and all these approaches into one boat into one element And then finally. I'm going to talk about Implementing change from a health psychology perspective. And what we specifically can do how we should be thinking of it and then talk about. You know really briefly what we promote if you've been a listener on the finding my psych podcast or can follow in our website for the last three years. Then you definitely know kind of what our ingle is. And i think oldest supromega clarita variant. All right if you're in a classroom with me. I'd ask you questions right now. You can't do that so i'm just going to dive into the content and again i will just. I will move fairly quickly. So they don't bore you with too many details. And i have to super depend on people. Nineteen back with me Via email right now. Just do that. At podcast. At finding my psych dot com or support at funding dot com. Either of those will work. And then i will address your questions in the following episode or comments. Or if you catch me saying something off. So the first major point in terms of definition is what is the difference between health psychology and behavioral medicine. And these are not entirely two separate buckets so you can think of health psychology as the how professionals in this particular way of thinking engage in the healthcare system. Health psychology is all the things that we promote. I'm in the healthcare system. That's it's privately prevention oriented In healthcare so it's a it's more of the philosophical underpinnings the activities that we do to support it. You'll see like Nrt nicotine replacement therapy. you can think of that as a as a healthcare model really built in health psychology that the support that we give around smoking cessation is really built in health psychology. And we know that if we provide that in the healthcare system in hospitals in counseling centers that it has a massive impact that would certainly health psychology behavioral medicine. Though is you can consider it underneath this umbrella of health. Psychology and behavioral medicine would be like a specialty form of training specialized form of training Where we are Really doing research and looking at practical ways to interact with individuals. Based on that research you know kind of based practice and Working in a clinical manner with people so behavioral medicine would be very specific to for instance sitting down with a client. That is or a patient that is suffering from obesity and being immobile and maybe working with that person and their partner around how the partners behaviors might encourage the person to remain immobile. For instance always getting things for them bringing them the remote for the tv. or whatever. I mean i'm already diving too deep. But it's the it's the super practical boots on the ground approach to working with people. That's built an evidence based practice and research so health psychology being just the general philosophy and the overall system and things that we implement in the healthcare system. Behavioral medicine is considered actually the practitioner. Doing the work really. Through this lens. These are similar buckets. Behavioral medicine is kind of within health psychology. And so you. You generally have training in both and generally people have a background in to to work in behavioral medicine. People generally have a background in like clinical psychology as as an example some social workers do some nurses do some physicians do as well So it is Today kind of modern be called Lifestyle medicine and we'll get into some of that here in a little bit. I think the next major point that we need to cover though is really defining illness. And i think where we generally tend to start in thinking about having a chronic disease or an illness is. We think that it's something that kind of happens to us. But there's some really basic statistics that i've listed in the episode outline that i want us to pay attention to really make the point here on that drives home. Why there is a absolute a benefit to the healthcare system of having health psychologists behavioral medicine practitioners involved in the prevention and care of patients. So we know a few things. One of them is that fifty percent of mortality from leading causes of death is due to behavior to just kind of get your head around that fifty percent of all mortality that leads to you know From leading causes of death so such as like heart attacks or diabetes et cetera is due to behavior choices behavioral choices that the individual Made the long course of time. So for instance is estimated that tobacco consumption accounts for so tobacco consumption being the behavior accounts for thirty percent of all cancer deaths alcohol three percent. I wanna thought i've been higher. But that's the that's the statistic alcohol three percent of all cancer deaths diet thirty five percent while it's the highest here Sexual behavior seven percent. So let's read that statement and whole. It is estimated that tobacco consumption accounts for about thirty percents of all cancer deaths. Cancer deaths in alcohol. Three percent diet thirty five percent and sexual behavior seven percent another kind of statistic to get your head around is approximately seventy five percent of all deaths related to cancer have a behavioral component. So this would mean that ninety percent of all lung cancer deaths for months are related to smoking. So it's really important to acknowledge that smoking can be caught. Excuse me Lung cancer that leads to death can be caused by other. You know things. Radon gas causes lung cancer. Right has been known to So but smoking ninety percent of all lung cancer desert related to smoking. The whole point here is when you have choices that we're making lifestyle choices that we're making We what this leads us down to understanding is that we have a lot of power in kind of getting or molding our future. And so this is why. For instance around the world. We are so interested in eliminating Nicotine and tobacco use And tobacco use accounts for a profound amount of deaths in the world. You know one one. Half of all people who smoke will die of smoking-related death. That's that's the odds are not in your favor. Fifty fifty that scary all right ninety percent of all cancer deaths lung cancer deaths are related to smoking. So if you look at you know on the most cold level if you look hell the costs to the healthcare system and how that increases everyone's premiums and all of that of course that's something that we should be focusing on from a very cold business perspective ultimately those the ultimately though these are people's lives and we want to keep people around and So this is something. Smoking is one of those easy targets. You know to to to go after and by the way. It's not just smoking because a lot of people will get on in our team and then stay on it For a long period of time people should be very careful about because it's nicotine itself that mrs messes with the elasticity of the fact vascular system. There's all kinds of carcinogens and crap that tints of course cigarette smoke that leads all kinds of horrible things but nicotine is one of the major culprit. So it's not like you can just go and replace and stan in our t. for ever it's a step right a step so anyway. That was a little bit of an aside. But the point being is the choices we make certainly impact and so behavioral medicine health psychology as a whole is really interested in these kinds of choices The amount of Fat and one's diet compare the amount of just simple a sugar in one's diet. Simple sugar monasteries. Die sack rides like fructose etcetera. That also has pro. That creates problems with the pancreas long time. If you're just drinking coca cola all the time. The sugar kind It certainly can piss off your pancreas and wear it out plain and simple it will have eventual effects. No doubt if that is that is what you're going to be doing for the long haul so we've spent a little time here justifying in the illness itself and to make the case for. Why approaching illness from a proactive approach through behavioral. Medicine is a wise thing to do and You know some of this may sound like you know Public health and all of that. But you're actually right because this research does tend to kind of a fact The work that we do in public health everything from vaccinations. Because that's preventative right to looking at diet That stuff a right moving to point number three We just spend a little bit of time talking about our belief systems and how our belief systems can kind of keep us stock and not a moving forward and not changing how are A belief systems Contribute to a disease then therefore in the end and it also will inform us how we promote change in the Following point after in talking about our belief systems the role of health psychology behavioral medicine from that specific context. I'm really just gonna cover to really basic things. One would be kind of internal versus external belief attribution styles and locus of control And the other one will be unrealistic. Optimism and both of these commentaries are just kind of an observable measurable Way that we see people thinking and how that thinking can lead to for instance not taking action so so the first thing to really cover here is an internal versus external beliefs and putting those beliefs into action. In general. we have to go on here. We have a attribution style when we're thinking about health and then we have in terms of thinking about saying negative health outcome. This would be where we think. The negative health outcome has actually come from itself for instance diabetes either internal. It's something that i've done or external the government's put i don't know has some government conspiracy to put too much sugar into pop in there for is giving everyone diabetes. That would be crazy but that really makes the point. Attribution style is. Is this something that i've done is something that's happening to me And so cancer would be one of these easy arguments to make. Is the cancer that i i'm breast. Cancer is a really great example because both of genetic factor for breast cancer that you can be tested for. There's also kind of so that would be kind of internal but it's something that's happened to you right. It's it's something that's internal in terms of its mechanism. But it's something that's up to you. It's your genetic so really fits into the external category or there is the cut of alcohol use. So it'd be more internal category so alcohol is linked to breast cancer. A lot of people don't know that but there's certainly a link and whether it is triggering the genetics we don't really know epigenetics or Or whatever but the whole point is there. Is this very strong link between alcohol consumption in women and breast cancer and so This attribution style. How do i think about did i. If i know that my alcohol uses high and i have breast cancer. I might be able to start to see where. My behavior has led to that outcome. Where didactic is something kind of extra commune terms of you didn't have nothing to do with your choices. A traditional style. The next one those a little is is also finer point but it has to do about what you do about it when you have breast cancer. Now what did you do and do you. Kind of take an internal locus of control in other words. Where does the control set an internal local control when thinking about breast cancer as okay. I'm going to do this. First of all if alcohols involvement done with that. And i know that if i continued to work with my doctor. I'm going to get that masek to me for instance I'm going to take my Anti-oestrogen medication that i've been prescribed. And i am going to make all my appointments and i'm going to fight this. That is the internal lucas. Oh control that. I have some control over the outcome. The extra look of control. I'm in terms of breast. Cancer would be I don't really have an effect but that doctor's gonna fix me. Oh yeah they say. I need to probably get sucked. Okay okay well sure you know. I don't know what's going to happen. But yeah that's that's what they're telling me. That's what i'm gonna do. That's that locus of control. So the first one this can be confusing so hang with me. There's attribution style. This is kind of where the problem came from. Originally then the locus of control is more like for my perception. What is my attitude in terms of what i can do about it. Is it something intrinsically. I'm going to be working on that. I know that i can. And that's that fighting attitude versus people to to do. I just do it. That's external whatever outcome happens. Well that's what they told me to do. And therefore if it doesn't work out it's our fault if it does work out well for them Excetera came all right so in terms of our beliefs this internal versus external beliefs in how we work that in terms out traditional style and local control is super important to think about because it is a really good predictor of how engage. Someone will be in their care and then what their attitude is about that. And who's responsible for it right be Second part of this would be in terms of our beliefs is the general kind of approach that It's it's called unrealistic optimism in other words. It can't happen to me. I don't know that people say it out loud so much but certainly their approach and their their behavior indicates that it's something that could happen like a health negative health outcome. I'm just really couldn't happen to them. Lung cancer maybe. We'll be the example us here so the cognitive factors that would certainly contribute. That would be just a lack of personal experience with the problem. Maybe you just in terms of lung cancer for us that there's no one in your family that's really died of lung cancer. And everyone they were all smokers. So i'm smoking and yeah you know whatever i just i i don't see it around me. So therefore the next point here in terms of cognitive factors would be the belief that the problem is preventable by the individual And i'm really what we're talking about here is that Okay well if i get it then Okay i'll just do these things and it'll just go away. We'll just be really simple to get rid of and no big deal. Well of course that so in other words. You've kind of minimized the amount of effort and work and pain and risk in vault is basically what you're doing there. The next one is the belief that if the problem had not appeared that it will not appear in future so this means that you know maybe going back again to the people around you. You've not actually struggle with it. It's unlikely to appear in the future. So Or someone around you so this be kind of like that family system right. No one around me. i've never met anybody So therefore it's probably not going to happen better. This might not fit for lung cancer so well but would certainly fit for say like s. td sti prevention And so you know here you you. You've not had an sti in the past or right now so therefore it's just unlikely to happen in the future so continue with the risky sexual behavior. involved this'll be. Hiv could example. The hell no hiv is pretty chronic. So it wouldn't but maybe something like columbia. Okay hopefully this makes sense. It is about cognitive factors. Do look at the list so it makes sense this really what we're talking about here so i can just go back a little bit as we're talking about unrealistic optimism. It can't happen to me And a lot of what happens. There is a just again don. Only when with it. I'm not had about of it so it's not going to harm you. and Yeah that's the basic principle there car the final one would be the belief that the potential problem of lung cancer or sti is actually just infrequent. It's it's so rare that you develop a belief system that lung cancer so rare couldn't happen to you. so therefore what's the motivation. You know around making that change yourself. Okay so yeah very dense material. So we're just talking about beliefs. I would just go backwards. A game we're talking about beliefs beliefs that can Determine really whether we engage or someone engages in preventative health measures or or not or sticks with him adherents one would just be against internal versus external belief system and the other wondered be unrealistic optimism. Just couldn't can't happen to me. And depending on the scenario that we're talking about the two examples. I gave were say lung cancer or say. Sti's std's You'll kind of be able to kind of walk through those cognitive factors in the show outline to see exactly kind of what we're what we're talking about there all right all right. The rest of this will not be as difficult. Because i think now you know kind of the basis set up Really the point now is now that we have a definition for illness itself. How important our choices behavioral choice or lifestyle. Choices are to health outcomes We now know how our beliefs can kind of hold us back our attribution style kind of cognitive factors that lead to a very unrealistic sense. That it can't happen to me we know. That's what can offer us in or help us get out of it. Really what we want to talk about now in the fourth point is how we promote change and there. There's only two things going to bring up here. The first one you probably know lots and lots about and that is motivational interviewing and motivational. Interviewing is Cut of the bread and butter of addiction. Psychology right now It's been around for quite a while. I was in graduate school in the nineties early nineties mid nineties. It was I remember reading the book by roll neck. called motivational interviewing and it. It was certainly a game changer. Because only context we had back then in addictions was Kind of the addictions model. The disease model promoted by a and a net whole system The alcoholics anonymous narcotics anonymous etc. So i'm really where kind of motivational interviewing are stages assessing one person's stages of change. It applies to everything and health. So for instance one can be very pre contemplative in other words they don't really see the evidence of a problem in front of them and smoking again. a great example where they Have an unrealistic sense of optimism and they Certainly don't really see the risk and you could tell them that they need to stop and they're just gonna be up piss off. They're just maybe defensive about it. You might want to call this. Denial state. I'm not a big fan of that language but i would say it's just. There's just enough information in front of them. Presented in a non offensive way. Right were that they are willing to even look at it. Most of the time. We're we're a loved one and we're presenting the information like look. You could die from this. See look at this. Listen to this. Abc news article show on cancer deaths and from smoking just like whatever go way. The pre contemplative they people need to build pre needed to have access to information that doesn't kind of promote their defensiveness on they have to stumble across themselves or maybe sometimes a little healthcare will happen. I'm which is the more common way that then moves into the contemplative area and contemplative means okay. Now they're themselves are seeking information. Maybe they're doing it very secretly. They don't want you to know that's what they're doing right. You've probably been pushing and pushing and pushing something happened. Made them a bit scared. And now they're just gonna go look themselves but they're not involved when you in that all the time so this contemplative stages very exciting in healthcare. Because it's where a lot of people set The next stages are really just about taking action. I won't dive into them but they are simply preparation. The person's now getting prepared to make change they've evaluated the cost of that pros and cons to change. You know to positive changes. Not all great right. We don't have to dive into that. But i think that's very obvious and then they'll take action. They'll actually do things they've they've of. They know what they're getting themselves into. And they're actually taking action to make a change around there smoking or their drinking behavior and then maintenance. They've made the changes that they're willing to make the doesn't mean abstinence so don't get hung up on that one Just means another maintaining the level that they're comfortable yep so anyway so assessing in ones where they're at in terms of the stages of change as a practitioner on behavioral medicine is really good to know as a loved one. It's really good to know. And then what your role in is in how the tools that you can use to help people move along. If you go to finding my psych you will find an article on a motivational interviewing in the stages of change that talks about the various tools that we use like cost benefit analysis excetera. That helps people move through this. I really encourage you to find that article. I'll try to find. I'll try to put it in the show notes as well for you. If i remember as a link in this specific section that are point four right there is one model that i think we should be talking about. And this is a little bit dense. But i think we're gonna fly through it really really easily There is a model called the health belief model or that just sounds so boring just like a psychologist. This is just Really not the most exciting title. But it's called the health belief model it was designed in nineteen sixty six by rosenstock And it was kind of adjusted over the years to motivation By a a very popular very well known researcher called becker and then his colleagues as well and that just really expanded in the seventies and eighties. And i think led to theories like motivational interviewing We're motivation is as was barely up on the seventies and eighties and but available interviewing Would certainly even though. I don't know that this is the case. It was certainly be the great. Starting point would be in these theories talking about motivation. So really i think the one to look at this as How do we predict a preventative. Health behaviors and behavioral response in actuality and chronically in acutely and chronically. Ill patients. I think that is the real crux of the model Model is trying to Predict preventative health behaviors to say the game and the behavioral spawned response there in in acutely so people that may enter hospitals are suddenly ill and chronically ill patients that is what the behavior of the health. Belief model is trying to address how we predict the preventive health behaviors etc. So we know that as people start to engage in prevention Or have some kind of response to acuity or chronic illness. that's been developed. Is you know they have some core ways of thinking about things and We i to just fly through them really quickly there. Each of them is kind of what the patient or client might do around evaluating whether at with us so when we just their own belief about their susceptibility to illness their understanding. About the chances of sick this is very similar to some of the content. Above if you don't see a lot of people around you of course maybe don't see the case so one susceptibility to illness. Severity of the possible illness that they have So some kind of understanding of how illness actually can be oftentimes again. This requires experience with other people in their life that experienced illness and what happened. Like a person's mother died of lung cancer and they were smoker. As an example so you saw both susceptibility connection between smoking and cancer. Which today are more likely to do back in the forties. They probably weren't but you also said the severity of the outcome. The other thing is cost. And so and is cost influencing at all Your kind of increased anxiety around getting illness that some for instance diabetes while the expensive Depending on where you live here even in canada we don't cover diabetes supplies in our healthcare system. There are programs that you can get onto. but i'm that perceived cost of course as well Will certainly impact you know your your kind of health. Choices in how you will take action in terms of prevention or response to having an acute or chronic illness the benefits you know what benefits do see as engaging in a preventative approach. One would be you know saving money or looking better so weight loss as one of these things weight loss of course a whole industry itself. I think it's horrible. Because that should not be your only measure. But if that's where you're at with things news you see that direct connection of obesity. Too negative health outcomes. You're you're going to think about those benefits and that's going to market it to you and sell it to you by the way right saving money but you're going to give them your money for their program which is stupid Or know you just want to look better and of course we all want to look better so so yeah i would say again The kind of call to action cut internal external as well kind of like where you see the The cause something happen to you versus something that you've done in the past that would lead to in how you're going to fix that that's one that's one kind of thing to remember again. Back to this intrinsic locus of control versus extrinsic. And then the kind of the last. You know two here have to do with motivation that what is our readiness in terms of engaging in preventative action. We have to really think about that. And what is perceived sense of confidence that we can stop the behavior that we engage in can actually stop whatever. Negative outcome is coming so so again what we do is we were in terms of promoting change as an individual as a clinician. We really want to kind of assess where we're at in terms of our readiness. Are we pre contemplative. Are we thinking. Yeah this is something we want to do. An and getting ready to prepare. That's just the most basic but in a much broader sense. What are some of the things that play into us actually Engaging in preventive behavior or some behavioral response to illness whether it's acute or chronic and so those core beliefs that can predict that again would be things like your understanding of your own susceptibility severity of the cost. The benefits etcetera. And kinda. what is this intrinsic motivation as well. that Sometimes you know in engaging with others is really good around motivation because sometimes other people can help us become more motivated. Just because of their own energy and their their own success As long as they're not trying to sell something to us. Of course. But i mean that's that to me is very important. It's an element. That's often left out. Is that an impact of others. All motivation is intrinsic but also like to really note to people that motivation isn't something that you wait for. This is super critical That motivation something. That happens over the course of taking action and then kind of that emotional feedback that cognitive feedback around. What was the outcome. That's motivating when you get what you want so sitting around waiting to feel motivated or watching youtube videos until you feel motivated to get out and run. Forget it how. I'd say it's reinforcing but it won't give you a sustainable approach to getting out the door all right. You guys were almost done again when we started today. I said this would be super dense material. But it really is. The framework at really is the backbone. It really is the fasha four. How health psychology. How behavioral medicine you know how. Our behavior impacts our health. The goal is always feeling better so I would say in terms of implementing change itself from this perspective is. Let's start with the most important one always see your physician. I write any behavioral change. You're gonna make the impacts your health. See your physician. You may want to engage with the clinician whether it's a physician or psychologist or nursing that works in health psychology or behavioral medicine depending on the complexity of the change that you want to actually make do think about that while we like to give a lot of skills that you could put into use. That could help you kind of build that transformative experience in your life. I'm union much more support than what we're providing and You i think everyone needs to be kind of you. Need that touchstone for someone that can help you. Especially where risk might be involved Weight loss carry some risk depend on how fast you do it and all of that and so i think that something to be evaluated. I'm i would say the other thing. In implementing change from health psychology perspective would be really consider the long game. Everything needs to be the long game. we on this show talk a lot about benchmarks talk a lot about metrics and metrics are great benchmark for change but really do understand Metrics are the short game. You know it's the week by week. It's the day by day. It's the run by run or the walk by. Walk thing that you do when you go look at your watch and it says you walked so much burnt so many calories etc. It is the short game. It's not the long game. I think in terms of pro predict teen or promoting. Really good health outcomes. You have to take the very long game. Spend less time looking at the numbers on the scale. As an example some people promote the idea of measuring separate on a scale every day. Really with the id. That's going to when you see it. Go up and down. it's gonna promote you or motivate. You have a negative way to keep restricting calories and exercising more to kind of get those numbers to come down. Is it effective. Yes is it sustainable. Because at some point for instance when you pick up running you're going to start building muscle and you're gonna watch that number go up and you're not gonna understand that that's what's going on and then you're going to stop. So that is that problem with. Metrics is a short game thing. I personally am very obsessed with metrics. I don't step on a scale every day. But i look at all the other metrics we have a show on that the metrics that that are really good to pay attention to but they are short game instead. It would be really good for you to focus on how you feel emotionally over the course of time. Kind of weeks months years we do have normal natural emotional kind of mood better word mood kind of cycles in our life and really pay attention to that because it is very much determined how much alcohol consumption. How much movement that. You're that you're taking you know what kind of exercise that you're doing. Of course we're talking about movement again on your diet All those things are cumulative in nature very important point Really do perceive you know kind of on perceived strength I went on a run. Said i'm doing four runs this week. I did run today at seven k. I did five k. Two days ago. That run was really bizarre. Because i went out. It's always hard just getting out the door. Once i did i felt great but when i got into the run after about a click i felt really strong and i was moving a lot faster than normal. I was not out of breath. That is super exciting. I there's no way. I could really measure that perception feeling stronger. With exception of maybe looking at a faster pace or my heart rates were lower. Whatever but perceptively felt better. Perceptively felt stronger. It was in my head no metric would ever it would reinforce it but it wasn't the origin of me understanding that i was doing better. That is super exciting. That is the long game And so it should over time feel easier and should overtime like something you want to do to clear head etcetera I would say you know. We should be focusing overall kind of On mobility and endurance that as we age You know kind of does my improved. Mobility endurance predict a happier life. Really what we're talking about here is. There's a lot of data on the last decade or two of life and what we do earlier in life how it impacts that you don't want to be using a walker in your last decade of life. That's something that you do after an injury right you. The goal should be going out of life when we all die kicking. that's the goal right so Remember health reported on this last statement. You'll see kind of in the show notes is health outcomes good or bad are cumulative if there's any one statement I want to make is. It's cumulative it's long game it's rarely sudden it's about lifestyle this whole thing. You know medicine in general compared to say behavioral medicine. You know kind of medical medicine. Its original format is certainly reactive to poor health. So something happens you break your leg. You know you go to a hospital and you get a specific regime of care and then you get better. It's reactive in nature. We are now moving more in in the last decade or so. We're moving into lifestyle medicine so physicians that or psychologist etc that practice Kind of the things we do in our life lead to outcomes and health outcomes that is lifestyle medicine and that is really what this statement is. All about remember health outcomes good or bad are cumulative in nature they are rarely sudden. You won't improve or necessarily just unimproved or he'll get worse overnight k. All right so there. It is guys That is some pretty dense material. I will probably support some of this content in some future articles specifically on Kind of tearing down in other words kind of diving a little bit deeper and digging in a little bit deeper into health belief model by rosenstock and so again just kind of round off what it all means at you know Funny my psych. We do have a very specific angle here and so We are Really trying we do believe these things and just try to state him very very clearly but again don't just latch onto any of these things that i'm going to show them about to say you know. See a healthcare professional before you kind of think that's your way to right but we do promote improved physical health through physical activity And that this has done something really through consistency and that consistency Over the long time if you think of it from a long game perspective is building sustainability. Right is sustainable over time. It is about sustainability That if you go for too many hard workouts you're going to burn yourself out. A really is engaged in the activity at the level that fills good but somewhat challenging We do believe in improved physical health by dopp a plant based or even a vegan lifestyle or vegan diet. I'll just leave it there. Go read anything by This will totally make sense. Came so A plant based and or vegan diet. Those are similar. Maybe not the same. The on who talked to we believe in improve mental health emotional wellbeing through direct assessment and interruption of cognitive distortions and thinking fallacies read that right out of the show notes. Because i just think really. This is a good place to start emotional. Wellbeing is so much more complicated then. What cognitive behavioral therapy can offer but it is a great starting point is a great tool and we definitely have links In the show notes that can take you to You know articles on this specific thing. The last one. I'll just i'll i'll just mention. We really are trying to promote a bio psychosocial holistic model of care. But there's also the spiritual poor approach so we do believe in promote spiritual health through mindfulness. Mindfulness and meditation. This is your connection to some greater understanding of purpose and how we fit into all of it. All right guys well please. Don't unsubscribe i. I sometimes the material is dense. And i think this is very much lecture style. And if i had you in a classroom i would be most delighted because we would be able to talk about this content in acuna fashion after such a delivery did today. We don't have that advantage. I am excited to Get your emails And or engage with us on chat That is in the bottom right hand of the screen of the Website at funny. My psych dot com and we can dive into all of this and Certainly there's something that you agree with great if something you disagree with great let us know. Because that's how we get better. And that's how i don't make mistakes like calling band syndrome. Tb centrum tendonitis. It's not it's fasciitis actually okay. You take care piece and light to you all and look forward to catching up with you soon cheers.

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Episode 9: Fique longe de gente falsa

PODCAST ruajoao1135

04:15 min | 5 months ago

Episode 9: Fique longe de gente falsa

"La we'll see stunner. Who was rome only three days. Who can how chicago dark those problems emotion ice does Do screen. she's singing door. Is jesus christ civil. Say we keep a mental airpot will support your cash. Do apple podcast. But oklahoma podcast. Desirable must've ac- tennessee program and karna brusca who was wrong. Sani spots was hip sing. Sigi you view totals educators. Today is still moose. Should you various supported our view towards. Nesta mr moore meal to observe viper proverbial caputo quack through november sue vinci quad very squat into quacks which is our fast. Divorcee are foreseen. That did that booker. in mundane alone appear that those view that you can get voice jeep which appears shows foul since meanchey dozes. He not guilty follow e water. Cheap would you bitch show this their mouth doors. Suwa ki who is mar was say suspicious. Civil sylvia fowles as laws lucille. J. g. r. fit. The bill died. He bill babies dies young boys titties said. We'll see if you don fouls faucet died. Bits in the maldives loans. You visit you could you. You know because serta mejias was choice away. Mostly myself dogs. Must there be. Moves layered advocating north asia fouls known dig almost squeezes does thousands getting can foul killick. Meanchey was choice. Who inst- anymore soy's probing. Ancient luc picard cows on mile brazil because on mph sudras cafo sobriety for can cheat poking girl he apparently daij alums amount died looking for him to provoke mile. at rivera's. kenya is a kenyan. Dues can follow. Hone down to deeply rooted guy king following the model. Those ridiculous bloom the masuko. Sal i'm wooded jahmai woulda producing chilean two specimens it. The may g-code to lose to engage in dc reach defensive jimi cheetah or died g to put game g to parole to seeing your word. Does nasa smoke them in the house died. Grab those muscles. Lobbyists the pills. He died in dodge. Gordon scorer sounded. Speak god yes. You don t v the kingdom this enormous Bruce will also send your king knows on me.

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Tigran Galstian: Creating molecular lenses

Canada Foundation for Innovation

03:24 min | 7 months ago

Tigran Galstian: Creating molecular lenses

"Go against professor who the on. The physique du genie physique it uptick at university level. I back away. Kufo that other piece lens vector he's who specialist or a different modern technology unique. The museum point two metric. She's other the plasco instead redundancy neom almost who offered playoff loss on these in level at twelve rue the sewage plant materialism camman developing matter. Hugh kissel the duct tape is application specific debut solo matter here. He and everybody declare kosovo long veteran. Show like silicate seca so that you can pull up the partially creek. They don't associate preserves. Application also do deserve show history located display double the latter is it Clearly premier compass show celona coma. This the simple application. I taught me dot hold on. I don t questionable summers in the loft economic on sunday. Cleveland i tell you An amiga vision on listed template annika. Tom tom killick elastic. Eight hundred nikki. They did asia. Don don The demand for sale e- sit. This is a threat because unpleasant play jim. But don't live in yakima. Becky wtrw softens. A discotheque age began to take us. Preska profanity eighty nine. And north of town of these applica- i saw the webcom for laugh. new address lamar shady autofocus mizzou porno traumatic and senator town is really mash on optical image stabilization automatic vallone skew on kfi in the city compost Threaten us is up the tweaks to come in london. Where i've done deke. Soon in week indicate covered gain. Lanc- may go flip process josh colorful system. The molecule key. Satour here we aren't. They can't support politician hama. Don't moon boffon episode the nancy me and move massively dunk while i don the nuclear move movement it's under next tippett energy and body nico Sasser terry region. Lafayette can see them. In technology could displayed these fisher. Unpalatably gets to the us on holiday. Cornyn radio wafer remain won't preferably give them the dis-official trigger also us weekly coupet for immediate lancy. Don't look sean again. Experimentalism suspect cosby verma of tom for collision. Come early somsong nepal.

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Coachcast #1359  A vida  como um bolo

COACHCAST Brasil

04:47 min | 4 months ago

Coachcast #1359 A vida como um bolo

"Komo ask sufi was saint. Francis reviewed the questions comparisons qc russillo gign. Disease star base was sent him and stop. Being fooled pot fallout but as the sous vide and to win or not to border is it was on a ball of some africa. Culturas sit stove. Coach cast to brazil. I said the motive. It is logical a senior male celebrity. Vida blue i. You're a few words you. But i don't know side i if you could tell you now because a few bravo series of yet but i will say is to stay in between through Technica chamunda avi the woman. It don't this. The day of the day is if follow dama fella but example mousy. iv mosey tone that. She's thinking out on my frazee water cell he pleasing javi echo mousy ease gene veasley now order stuff azan to do ball is funding. Lippi's soldier kina veg into super bowl bull. Let's luckily foreign bring new four detained point campus and if i start goal of lithium his seat will breitbart dipping into the bulletin discounts. Security bullet botch saint. All his seat. Thing don't get their views to say new fate blues senior fatal neither nonpartisan. Don't feed the mumble. Sees part of professor squeeze yeah killick sabic places up their day sharp view now or a set nausea security at school is scalable to four of ecology and turn the squeeze civic all through program. Ill civil civil. Study with vice type. Put on for yarmouth. Africa fees team gear noon. Keep follow the soon to soutar there. So could you see. Planet is dean new new processor. chino i can't guys another system was still modest officer bullets you versus cheap bulletin order to chuckle archie bullets Baligian need you. Blew g bull bullock fighting sausage issues in other pro-cyclical moment digging it. I think it was bonus. Urge you got zuma's bullets comb cashing suphakit bullets garcia And was you know bono. And don't think sow jiechi possumus officer below-normal yours. East jefferson in saint. Funny branka also. Abraham was not former for desirable. Multi quizzically volusia kin. Gaza fully now former physique cookies akhundzada by face to face them faster. Who's tonnage pre k. Some you're gonna similar basil yield may might bang. You've done us. They fuss over months and google's amos Giving catholic or aki voice it board. You sleep on imported civil year. Used to follow quizzes go. He caters to sweat. Vida quizzes key vo the evolutionary inseparable from dr. They don't begin to naked proble. Sit there. picking approach must superfood. Nikki vows on akilah separate drain book stuttering. Gcp lean we'll start during none of our saintly starts picking a little mississippi malls komo's malls searching competitor iv the year citizen as like dessert few. These are few bravo. Say overseeing got to. We'll save on a million stugotz. Stay wish on is on casino feed the equal by e his phone. Joe polisena mapa. Lebron will be on coca cola. Yeovil patchily are from real's eighth followership you saw depending on komo four komo hindu vedic proposed processing for rules dude and she is similar his phone dan do. Iv that echo was such a few is to spit on the million job or pauling cater. You want but i he. The pledge baboots would not to a amedure almost feel put guest here.

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Full Spectrum #96  Hobbits, eBikes, Slope Soaring?? and Sales, Oh My!

Fat-bike Radio

31:31 min | 8 months ago

Full Spectrum #96 Hobbits, eBikes, Slope Soaring?? and Sales, Oh My!

"I have a buddy spectrum. cycling number. what are we got today. Ninety five ages my mind. Wow that's something so Yeah ninety fifth one remember. One people had birthday cakes. Blow out the candles a wishing shit crazy back in twenty nineteen right on. Jk to my right alot immediately to his right. Sam d today. Hi sam was in the neighborhood high. And also tony burger. That music is still going. Listen to that so how. 'bout that snowing royalties yeah. It snowed yesterday. Didn't well it started yesterday. it's just still going. It's like a frigging winter. Wonderland out there. Yeah i on slip yet. I'm not as enthusiastic about it as you are yet. Because i got my cove shat time machine thing. Aren't you thought. I'd throw quick. Report forgot somehow. A white young guy got into the front line at the cloven this e bike privilege though coming out of the gates talked to chew earlier. He's advocate. Cigarettes is every time we shift gears. God kills a kitten. Wonder how if it's like two experts shift in an e bike gear with an e bike. You don't have to shift. But i want to destroy more kittens. I said sorry getting killick. There's a horse. And i got who was on the message today with dan. Was it. meet tony in me. Our buddy dan who used to live right down the block here. Half a block in the neighborhood of milwaukee. Wisconsin has moved to anchor bridge alaska. He claims he can see russia from his house. I don't remember when he moved up. There was it like november. Yeah so now it but he took the. It was pretty funny on facebook. You like he. He went to anchorage on vacation. He came back. And he's like. I am moving to anchorage literally sold like nearly everything he owned and hopped on. Yeah you said you can't buy fat bike qatar. cq cannot that was. That was a pretty epic threat this morning from him. He's like can you ship me. Can you ship me fat bikes. Where do you work. I work at track of agrees. Yeah get fat by right. Well trek is trek is out till fall of two thousand twenty one now and crazy also bill fleming who owns that stars was one of the founders of nine zero seven. So is is this. The dan did the fully on the side During the mario kart crit but ten years ago go no you know yeah. Plays guitar terrorist Maybe you're expecting me to remember ten years ago. I don't remember when we did the show last wednesday with no shirt and ate it until the rocks and he he was smarter than that if that is you don least than i. There was a dan. That sounds like dan miller to me. That's why i was going like. Oh damn fun guy. That's who i thought. The dan was dan head on april. I didn't want to ask the question. I just wanted to provide. Dan's last name is statement to the next round. And i'm outta here. Correct sir and that him out. I'm playing rewards mode now so it's not dirty den not thirty second gessler. There are many dan's to be had sam's and dan seemed to be permeating the bicycle. I've seen here in. Milwaukee that is true. I know three very serious writers whose name starts with s with 'em and there's some there's some dave's to yes. Strangely the mike has gone. That's just kind of in bar social going tomorrow and say. Hey yeah i guess apparently hardcore. I'm just near some out there when somebody says the name tony's those down muslim collins anthony because they're cooler. That's what i'm in trouble. Oh dude dude dude happened. Caller welcome welcome to the radio program called. How would we have on the line. Oh hello word. Yeah i can hear you. Can you hear me. can you hear me. Are you on your phone number. Someone's breaking up here. Yeah how's it going. Dave still not very tony's trying to whisper to sam through the microphone. Because it really work on this. I ask eating convention girlfriend and buying a heap. Did you know good. It was mentioned briefly. But she's a four girl so stuck with the boards. that new bronco looks pretty kicking. Alex great. I think it's we Thought about that But of course you know. She has to take her dogs in the consideration. When you know doing everything so bad plane having a bronco. You can't have a dog what's make sense. There's more room in the exploded. I guess so. Maybe well to broncos to. There's one in the skopje and then the big one. So i want the big ones. Of course of course was pushing for the broncos or the gps off Oj memorial anniversary. Nisshin for our governor. Our guys you're talking over a collar shut the fuck up. Sorry still stuck. I mean come on. So i'm good just woke up from a little nappy poo here during a little time off. When am i doing with david. And i guess flipping them off leaving you. Dave sam d is with us here today and the old studio. I understand you guys have been doing some writing together lately. Yeah so. I'm last night at the postal trail right last week with iraq. Yup killer both night out. Yeah how do you think you're older prime condition. Grad was warm out by you today. 'cause it was pretty warm on this side of town. Yeah that's gonna set up a little bit or well. They're really packed down awesome. They'd be all right. Cool one of the We also got dave. Tell them about the report on the part beach from Steve up there. A port washington beach. That was very interesting. sounds good. Trails are really good and there's actually beach to ride lean. That intrigues me. I'd like to I think we should plan a little trip up. There is the holiday inn back up and running and not under remodeling construction. I think it's stay edible. It will stay edible when we're on right out. There's a new restaurant underneath it and Oh man that that we gotta go there on that. That would be a good chance to check out. I'm gonna have to bring a bike with studs and one without just to. Because i don't know what the conditions to lift hundred zero taking up the passenger seat they're going to give them a call Tomorrow and get more detail talked about something house too. So i imagine so there's Sell to the landslide. And then he said there's beach right on north so i don't know Well maybe so but maybe some of the water fig. We're talking to the there's always up we need to recount up. Their insurance always go in the water. Little bit right at the beginning. Right after i think yeah if that opens up about well check it out and that's your place winter the year deal friday afternoon. I'm probably open because you don't work right on bucker you did the race up at. Shell track right yeah. How was that. See a picture of you. Yes you did from frostbite heard. I'm sure awesome for some reason the day after new year's day i don't know what the hell is thick skin feeling then new bars. Yeah that's cool No beach in it again this year. Unfortunately though Cathal nice little one point two mile circuits or towards daring. You know how did they do. If there is no beach ridge up on all ooh see nursery that big climb up the beauty. That was brutal. Oh yeah. I mean yeah well. They won't hurt me quite a snow. The sledding hill this time oh okay. Climb I tried it once i. What about halfway up but did it towards the end of the race so i was like my legs are pretty recovery from. I ride on the first to help the situation much. I know. climb. Aboard if i really felt like i guess time good weather conditions. They have less snow of dot. Your i guess. Weird crazy staggered driving up there. I looked at notice. Something like Wow steeples closer. Decent snow on their good for inches. The whatever tacked on pretty good cool right on. Let's bigger than the chesapeake drink. Dave what are you talking down over there tears to know. We're we're just kind of guessed what you might leave. Come on. we're not dave what we're not talking highlife. We don't all one of my great q. And a. pickaxes but my cookie sausages and thought outside of Up dinner tonight but sausages still frozen. Jesus lately played all the hits here shown guy never calls in. He's such a slacker. Probably needs very nice enemies. Like i'm working now. The life of a brewer gotta work when you know other people are doing children calling this now. The next us snow crown race. Coming up You know i don't even know is the one that silverlake is not a. That's not a snow crown race. Yeah that's not snow crime. That's not in the series that's just their individual at a good time but that's an x rays coming up. That's the saturday. It's this saturday tomorrow. Yeah yeah that's that's a great rings teamed up for that. yeah we did. When you're you're now hopefully we get. We get a of snow in the next couple of yesterday's and hours it'll be nice. Yeah a couple of inches here soon. i don't know but they got this. Not america s That's where the heaviest snow line of south of us. Not arthur even hammer doesn't have much in the way of snow right now. What they would normally have about no snow. There's sections of the marquette trail system that are going to be on the fuller role. Which is virtual this year that They're hoping for snore. So how does that work. You get a certain amount of time like a month to do the ride and you strava sections of or something two months Yeah and you gotta like selfie points. You don't have to garment or anything like that. Got to take place is it now. It's gold event. You just what are you gonna do her. Tony down mesa social media you just got a text them to the race director. This make sure you hit all the points. so coming with assists here. I am coming with this year. Used you've never written up there. You will thoroughly enjoy it. They're semi and sovereign. I guess it's a forty mile loop on several downtown marquette just like standard races point. the point It goes marquette. Two ish there's a cool locals call it or yeah this year. It is a loop originally heard is going to be like to twenty mile loops in ishpeming. But now i guess it's just one forty mile freaking out and back marquette is will be packing beer improperly sort of hard makers Marquette pack one year two years we actually The night before he went to cousin sandwiches and took over the long. You're going to know. How are you going to get. Dfl virtual event. Yeah hold during the regular events there's actually Like five beer stops said. Have food at 'em doughnuts in other power food you know what stop is the Hugs of bacon. But there is a vacant by the time we get there. There's always plenty of dogs. But yet i'm a normal year there would be food stops along the way. Yeah we we just packed our own anyway. Like you know with buys packer on booze for that anyway. 'cause we're you know we're going in there thinking we're going to be out riding for dollars also out six hundred beers pound and just in case you're wondering when the next snow crown races Jk use the modern technology in his palm of his hand. Can you believe to figure out that it's It's up at reforestation camp up there in green bay area at the tip of the spear snow crown number. Two january twenty third. Oh so that's not that merlin. Week from saturday baker's like four races. Oh here's an interesting one. Okay so the next one after that is fat tracks at road. America elkhart lake wisconsin all the track. Well i don't know probably not because there's plenty of terrain in that six hundred and forty acre complex. What if inside of the track. Maybe i mean the track is four and a half miles long. I'm wondering well that seems very interesting. and then February twentieth hilly haven golf course into peer is fatty shack. Pierce schick as far as i can see sir. They're not going to be on the tracks. Yes they're gonna be that one thirty miles there on a car you know. It's like five miles an hour on a fat well. They could go their on tuesday nights or something and ride your bike on the track and do laps. So you know if you're doing a fifty mile race it's ten laps whatever. Don't worry about it. I wanted to I wanted to go out there. When paul tracy was still racing has right because you brought on track. I'm they'd have events like before the the irs or any car whatever series. He doesn't have. They actually have bike events because a lot of the ride. a lot of drivers are actually writers. So that would have been cool ride. Paul tracy. I've driven my vintage racecar attract couple of times. That's a fun. I don't know how fun it would be to write on. It would be that going up the front straight. They're pretty good man. That's coming down in while they have that little Super moto track now to which is go kart track. Good time you go to youtube and lake road. America crashes on star and laugh. You're one of those people that likes watching cars crash. Aren't you know as well chevy's yeah yeah. Of course the camaros that go into the wall and they're like onstar. Hello onstar you were in a crash. I'm alright on race track track. I hit a deer outside of a race highway. Whatever i didn't chris turn their their videos. You can just feel this. Guy's bubble deflating as onstar calcium. Like fuck. I crashed in my brand new camaro that kind of day sport car day. Yeah all right dave. Did you get your bottom bracket situation taking care of over their own now through some bantering on it. And i'm talking to map and i haven't gotten back to and i think i found a set of a bottom bracket if you need one which are going to be super hard to come by this year. Yeah awesome. I probably should replace those varies. They get a little steph. But then once you get a whistle played like bingo get hit all of them. How many times. I've got enough other project scarred. I switched over to hand painting the pads for my milwaukee flyer because they are the proper colors that i want so i went. What some pete sticks. And i'm painting. Bmx pads especially working. Pretty good dude. Seriously for real for my man. Everybody paints their pads. East as did not break fad. Calipers calipers on your job on your disc brakes like the fancy guys in their fancy I got a bad board yet. Maybe if i'm off work for everybody said no no not that forget. All right man died down on Sam hit me up for this weekend. If you wanna do The silver lake thing. I'm both likely going. What is the tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow. Chad is Thanking sexual relay. Of course. I gave george schick because there was really a the shelter this year. And i'm like you actually expect me to write a whole race by myself. That was cova upright. They don't do the relay. You're all standing around next to each other. And surely i can throw the baton the next rather there are still people standing around unmask very covid irresponsibly but well. You were up north. You'll get that up there. They're all right figure. They're all gonna figured they're health conscious but a big. I probably only bikers and smarter than the average cyclist drinking during the race to say. Isn't it racist done. It just made the list. Yeah alright dave. Thanks for the talking about this weekend. I kind of matt by planning his hold next three weeks right on the radio for you folks can be a call at recent daft right on. I'm glad they've called sam's coordinate that date with you and rave we can do this every time yup for sure well at least gonna report from from Lake as we will. He's me a diamond. I did do several about two weeks ago. It was excellent before the snow hit. Though i have heard since that it is excellent since the snow hit grooming at that. Still to be honest. I'm not sure what they're doing right to find out where you'll know a lot of added a guy that the race that you were with on on my team. I think that's when it was super slippery. Bottom of that hill. Total yard sale was that was that was brutal. Little muddy. the top of that loses and gravel pit. What are we doing ourselves here. yeah it was. It was fun time besides the crown stuff coming up. There's not really a bike across bago but we talked about it last week looking like february thirteenth. If it's the conditions are right be something to look at it. I got I got Gyms bike over there. Getting stud tired it up just in case jim jim. How's he doing. Jim was in the star. Being jimmy meta giamet a bad crash and was in the hospital. If you remember your doctor listeners. Great guy. Jim is He's back at work now actually this week full time so there you go good and Sam wants to leo across it and is crazy as it sounds. He could probably check that out. I think you're talking man. I that really is so impressive. Teased seems ever list but he works. You can just watch him. It's just like dude. Got that feather break action just like e. You know what we should do if we can if that happens. We're getting aristotle to come to because he lives like eight minutes away. Lease doolan wheelies. That's good sam. Said he went on guy. Those guys are john. Wells guy can really endo all day at. What do you call when you write an endo up and down the ramp He'll he'll do is he literally will do that. He's the. I've met him a couple of times. He worked for sun tour for awhile. He was a big truck Maybe write this out in my help. Them lockdown a house out and cut. hey so when. Dan started that texting earlier. Reminded me that that bikes are kind of in short supply. So i brought that. I got a large slick 'tatanka working on putting together. I also have a couple of wyatt's ready to go some. It's like it's gonna be hard to get fat bikes this year. Okay well. Let's not sports together bikes. I'm not even sure chip anchorage we can do that. I don't know how much that would cost. Ship bikes dot com. Folks there spicer show Give them a lucy. And how much would it cost to get a bike to anchorage. I dunno fedex. goes there. They'll send a listener bike there. They go there every day. I'm betting pretty spendy but whatever you know what if they can't get a bike and anchorage and you want and you got a couple of bucks. 'cause don't they get like free money from the oil people. Yeah all right there you go. That will pay for your ship. Don't worry about it. Plus they're getting free money from the government right now. I think my free money might start and again. I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure i got mine. Yeah so that's for some tires for your bike or something. I'm not certain of one. Because i'm only fostering daniel now or wait until he's fallen mind. Yeah you got me all. These kids need some more money. So even if i get any money from him sooner cost me more to have him give him the money that is really is. He really spends that money fast. He's a bitter. He's a handful. i'm sure he so fun but cut him on the kitchen table twice. Did we talk about our beer before we go. David having a miller high life yeah. We got that far while. Jk brought three sheeps Try blend Shapes a win the From shibo again. Think we've had this before. Probably at least for sure and like cousin like cousin. Because this is one of dinardo's favored bike rides brewery tours. He likes to emotional issue like to ride to three rathers sheep's shape. Three sheeps three zero. Three brothers would be so great. That serbian you could go to thirty three sheep's head to three sheeps. Here's a three to the women had to sheep's action sheep and a half went from low power that's hype and the pills is very low power. It's flavor full man. It's it's an interesting or something like i said. Pabst with like something do yeah. It's kind of like the grain belt. mama's little pills from oscar blues. Something a little that you know greenbelt. Let's so peppery that kinda shit. Yeah i if. I saw six hundred twelve beg of it. I wouldn't buy it. Yeah that's take pills over this right. Sure i would say. I'm just saying yeah dancing with the you know. The world of variety packs were still in the wash of the holiday season and they just had a shitload of many ways and it works out because it's like. Hey man sometimes. I you know if you roll the dice and get a twelve or of something. Something or something. Repellent is l. Just doing that shit just sits around until like somebody that you don't comes over here. Revolutions mix twelve always good revolutionized chicago. They're paleo mixes are always really go. Yeah i mean just to have the mix. And how surly has i've done. I did that for Thanksgiving worked out. Thank you for body and mind and the cat was kinda oh that was a little oscar. Blues the dispensary variety simply go back. And listen to the other shows and talk about among those i'm just trying to but here's three sheeps for sheboygan jumped up. I jumped up from the pills to the to the juicy to the the final frontier which was a normal at going into the more bouza holly zone. Yeah it's a win win. this is win sales. Think the father slides. Fresh coast is my favorite of the bunch. But i'm gonna get saving last coast after. I'm getting into this one so all right well you know we do it every week. Somehow somehow thanks to dave lens dot com for the call in we manage to spend another has come listeners. time nonprofit. i don't know it is a website. Go see what he's got to say. I remember used to have this whole resume of every job ever had on there. And i was like seventy eight pages long or something. Yeah it was great. Thanks sam for showing up and hanging out and planning your next date with dave always welcome here right hired with dave sticker coming up out of that one as long as we didn't even talk about the pianist but i'll have a lincoln electric bike. Thanks to tony v.'s. Said got it's over.

dan sam anchorage dave Sam d tony burger killick buddy dan tony bill fleming gessler collins anthony marquette Nisshin Dave sam d port washington beach broncos Paul tracy
Promoting Hope Over Impending Doom - Light Your Own Way

The Finding My Psych Podcast

44:57 min | Last month

Promoting Hope Over Impending Doom - Light Your Own Way

"Hello and welcome. This is the finding my psych podcast. And i'm your host. Jared killick if this is the first time that you are joining us today just know. We are all things health psychology and behavioral medicine. Our goal is to provide you the tools that you desire that you need to be able to create your own personal transformation. Transformative experience On your wellness journey towards better health better mental health that are spiritual health etc and so today is going to be a little bit of a different style episode in that. I'm going to spend some time just talking about My own reaction to a To just my own reaction to quote. I heard by rich role earlier this week. I'm he is a well known. Podcast her in the kind of wellness. A niche genre And i have spent a lot of time thinking about this quote. And so i i it really kind of spurred me to Kaduna outline for today and to give you as much of his dream of consciousness as possible based on that outline you know so. I don't go too crazy In talking to about my own thoughts on what hopelessness is in particular. So what i will be going into is How it's so important for us to be promoting hope over kind of what our culture and our society around us is doing Which tends to really promote this deep sense of impending doom in the end of all of this. Just cut right to the chase. I hope you listen to the whole episode today. But if you don't to cut right to the chase. I make the point and provide some tips on how to that. It's our responsibility to light her own path and That we can't be waiting for external forces to to do that for us which is also something that's gonna promoted by our society inter interestingly enough so Before i dive into all of that a very deep thought rich content. I just want to spend a little bit of time today. Talking about Kind of two things that are kind of on top of mind. I wanted to say the biggest. Thank you to all of you. Who have provided feedback about the interview with amy robertson. Emmy robertson is a good friend An ot a practitioner in the field of Oat opus opiate agonists. Therapy and Also has a keen interest in helping folks at end of life kind of sort some of those important details that we probably don't spend a lot of time thinking about and so her interview was certainly One of our top and I look forward to having her on here again. She's going to be starting her own podcast at some point. And i look forward to kind of Being a guest on her show as well Super insightful someone. Who kind of in the past. I always felt like was just this super strong character super strong Really new kind of who. She was and really knew kind of where she stood on certain things and not in a dogmatic difficult to work with kind of way actually in a very like nope. Here's what i think. And her her decision. Making very much informed by some of those base principles. I think it's very inspiring and relieving especially in work in an area like opioid agonists therapy. Where things are always chaotic and always difficult so so. Hey thank you is the point here for your wonderful feedback. I will be sending that Onto her as She gets herself settled back in toronto. and yeah. I think that's inspiring. Thank you so much. I also want to spend just a couple of moments talking about the three core services that we offer at finding my psych We have free courses and they're free for as long as we can afford it so you know all of this costs money. I don't have advertising on our page at this point. I'm not sure that ever will. We don't have any sponsors I it does cost in an embarrassingly high amount but this is a passion project of mine and so in one of the ways. I'm expressing that passion is i'm offering Kind of three core cohort driven services where people come together as a group through you know technology through zoom. I'm to meet up and were trying to promote wellness through each of these Kind of workshops and so so one of them is called foundations a wellness planning workshop in that will cover some of the content that we've reviewed on this show before you know such as the changes model and things like that that goes on for four weeks and then we have a walking for vitality called powering up. This starts in october. And this is really just for someone who doesn't have a history of doing a ton of exercise but wants to just feel better because you know certainly at funny mike we promote Physical activity as one of the foundations for wellness and hard to debate. It's just absolutely compulsory. So we also have an runs for four weeks. By the way the walking vitality powering up runs for four weeks and then we have another one runs for twelve weeks. And this is the running forfeit fitness five k. Build up. i didn't want to call it couch to five k. Because everyone's got a couch to five k. Website out there. This is really. It is kind of a couch to five k. If you've never run before in over the course of twelve weeks how can we get you Getting to five k. Whether that's a combination of walking and running or all running on whatever your fitness level of course dictates so if you want to sign up for any of these free cohorts which means once starts new people. Don't come in if you're in max cohort is ten. So if there's ten people on there. And then i'll be delivering content During those weekly sessions You are with that same group and it doesn't change in there. I think that's that's quite. That's that's quite a good way to do it. So it's not destabilizing you want to build connections and build a support network around you while you tackle some of these important things in the future We may be charging for this and it will certainly be a very nominal cost. We are not about making money. I've got a day job. I make really good money. This is not doing it so You know this is again about me giving back and if we do end up charging for stuff is just to make it so let such a hit so anyway I enjoy these cohorts there. It's a really exciting model. People are signing up registering. There are only ten slots in each of the cohorts wants. The cohort heart is complete. Or even before i will announce the next one coming up to replace it and i'm so these will will be rolling throughout the year regardless of where. You live for instance. If you wanna get into walking. You could do that in the dead of winter so this is not season dependent. And yeah so it's something we're just very very excited about and look forward to doing all right Let's just jump into the content then and You know again. I guess you know. Probably what i should do. Spend a little bit of time since i've already introduced the general topic that being how we promote. I'm hope and how important it is to do that. But also how we do that in the face of a culture that is really kind of you know promoting doom and there are reasons for this which you know. I'll get into but i want to spend some time just defining the current problem It may be diving a little bit deeper into you know what is kind of doom. Hungry culture for instance. I'm gonna spend a little bit of time about how we take responsibility and for promoting that hope and In that i will reveal the rich rural kind of quote pulled from one of his thoughts streams A little bit earlier this week. i'll give you my own quote in there as well and then finally We're to talk about how we alter our own path and how we promote hope Which is really the ultimate goal here and what we all should be doing and Yeah okay so anyway. let's just talk about defining the problem and What i'm if you wanna follow along while i'm doing this by the way you can run to the show notes funding myself dot com. This is episode number fifty. One you'll find either on the podcast page or kind in the episodes list on the front page. I'm material is not difficult but sometimes it's good to have a visual cue in front of you. The current problem truly is that we live in a doom hungry culture and You know that is kind of an expression kind of came up with today. Because i think you should be asking where i'm getting this impression and I would think that it kinda comes from a couple of different places but at very least it starts from us that we in particular are attracted as human beings. Maybe it's more of a western culture thing. I don't really know. I think we can spend some time talking about this and debating this but we as people as human animals seem to be very attracted to fear and worry. It may be that from an evolutionary perspective. Fear and worry as a protective factor. Right always worrying about what's coming around the corner When you slip around the corner what you're gonna see that fear and worried about survival any end fear and worry specially since it's directly involved in our physiology of our dreams glands and cortisol on it happens to then actually be energizing in nature and this cells rate Certainly we seem to be attracted to it at very least attracted makes it sound like it's desirable. Maybe it's more. It gets her attention. And i think that's the place we need to start that. As individual human beans are physiology is primed for kind of fear and worry We have this addiction to also. I think this is more culturally driven. I don't see how this is organically driven. We seem to be very addicted to reliving trauma. we kind of see and we kinda fixate on trauma the anchor traumas of our past. The you know so you know there are there are traumas. I better stated there. Traumas that increased to the past and we seem to be very you know. Committed to reliving those traumas one way or the other. I know that after even my first points. There's so much hair open for debate. So anything i'm saying is my own thought process here what i observed in myself what i observe in others as a former psychotherapist and someone who leads people. These are the things that i would. I feel fairly confident. And what i notice so first of all we had this again. I'll just repeat very doom hungry cultures. Really promoted by our own thing. This is a very organically driven again by adrenaline. And cortisol the reinforcing nature and the energizing nature of that. Maybe it's very much survival evolutionary nature. But we also i think certainly in current modern in current culture modern culture We seem to be very addicted to reliving past trauma. The somehow that past trauma defines us as someone who's going through pain today or someone who's overcome dinner stronger because of it but again we definitely relive it and it's a thing The other thing that really reinforces kind of this kind of current state. That i'm talking about this thing. That's kind of getting at me and bugging me thing that i'm realizing at a deeper level and i hope others are two is of course the other thing that's reinforcing. This is the current cova nineteen pandemic. It is this kind of external force from us. This thing that has come at the world in this massive wave and it's something that's well beyond our control and it's something way bigger than we ever thought possible. I remember because i work in healthcare leadership healthcare administration. I remember the first few days of this being talked about it. Director an operation. These tables and i remember dislike thinking You know we've been through sars and all of that and then just rushed into this very massive big thing very quickly and patients with kobe. Were suddenly coming into the hospital when we thought they were just on the other side of the world in that wasn't possible It does not come is not stopped coming at us We're entering now officially a fourth way. We had seven hundred some cases in british columbia yesterday. When only month ago we had like forty a day or less it is it is. It's reinforcing to the other kind of two pieces. i just put their one is kind of organically driven. One is kind of like in her driven and then we have this external thing coming at us that almost proves the doom hungry culture that we live in and our addiction to trauma Here's the other layer of problem. This is absolutely utterly and completely promoted by the media and the reality is there's a pendant pandemic that's out there. The reality is there's global warming that we are starting to grapple with more and more in fact. Was that the un council on the environment or whatever gave this stark stark picture of our future. The other day. I thought shitty timing. We really have to. Kim even absorb this now. You know it is the impending do but the problem is is what i'm talking about. The media is yes. The reports good in the committee on the un is good but the media has been i member. It came out on monday or tuesday. And it was non-stop this was being hammered on over and over and over again in vancouver on. Cbc they were interviewing air quotes you know. Experts and people have their own perceptions of the horrible tragedy coming in the environment. Look i totally agree that we are fucking up the environment and that we are in a crisis situation with the environment but the way the media has presented it is is only selfish financially an only in their best interest financially the way they present it. I hope that makes sense. In other words what the media does it does it creates shows it creates headlines it writes blog posts with titles that suck you in and they make money when you click or the minute that you listen or whatever else like that. That's how they make their money. I think they could have on the on the a global warming reporting this week. You know it's going to go into next week to for christ's sake. They could've done it once or twice and then That would have been enough but they did it every day a few times. A day and at no point was any part of the discussion. Here's what we should be doing as individuals to help with this problem at no point. Did i ever hear that. Because of course that's a hopeful style conversation and the media doesn't make money on hope. The media makes money on our doom hungry culture supported by our physiology that we worry and we fear and we're attracted to it and because of that reinforcing nature of adrenaline and cortisol cortisol. We like we click on the headline that gives them advertising revenue. Google does this. Google is we all depend on google if you are a content creator in somewhere fast we're trying always to you know Being seen in the cerps and We're trying to to Right headlines right blog posts her or publisher podcast episode that get people to listen and click. Click baby nature that it encourages. Exactly what i'm talking about. And it's not just the click beatty nature of a title. It's also the content hope driven content falls flat in terms of the number of click throughs. This is especially cnn. Facebook which facebook will purposely put up contracting things in front of you because it causes fear or cognitive dissonance or frustration or anger. And then you click through you. You read you comments and all of that. It's designed to so so any company. Any podcast stor any blog writer. Any odd news organization will not make money on hope. This simply put that is our current state. Advertising model on the internet is absolutely responsible for keeping this kind of doom hungry culture going and making it worse. It just couldn't feel worse right now. We're in the fourth wave of our cova pandemic most of the people that are sick now. Almost all of them a haven't been vaccinated. That's a huge number of people. The minority the people in the world have been actually vaccine when you look at it from a global population perspective and then this horrible predictor out global warming and that we're at the precipice of extinction basically what that report was saying and then every news person headline presenting that material and the worst way in other words to get you to listen and all of that i mean there's other localized compounding factors at the exact same time. Last week we have Forest fire smoke sweeping into vancouver area. It's thick it's gross. You know it set units a reminder of our global situation around the environment but also how other people are suffering than just as calm pounding piece. I'm really making this point. Because i want you to feel deeply when i'm talking about here. Ultimately this is so much like the work by seligman. You've heard me talk about seligman in the past so doctor. Seligman is the original author of a positive psychology original promoter researcher in the area of positive psychology. We behavioral health. Psychology is all about positive psychology. We utilize a lot of the kind of skills and techniques and ways of thinking in frameworks in there in the field of how psychology and behavioral medicine. I'm but a lot of people don't know seligman is originally. His original work was in what he called learned helplessness. If you've ever taken a psych one oh one class you know all about this. It's talked about a lot it's a good introductory introductory topic and learned helplessness. How thing is back in the sixties when he was doing this work He's a research psychologist back in the day and what he found was that you could take his specific experiment. Just kind of kind of wild if you know anything about it. So he created and experiment using what he called a shuttle boxy credit shuttle box and it was basically a cage with a dog in it and on the bought so the cage is big rectangular cage. The dog was in in the middle was a Great that one up halfway and so the the bottom of the cage was kind of in two parts. There was kind of side a inside be so he jumped over the little great in the middle that wanna pathway the height of the of the cage and of course i'm he would get to the other side. The shuttle was that he could shift from side to side be based on whatever stimulus he was getting the different ways to get a dog to shuttle back and forth. But what What seligman did is he provided what he said a mild Electrocution so let's say if he did a mild electrical shock on side a the floor of side a the dog would jump over. The metal great. Couldn't get out because it's a mesh box. He would jump over to side b and set there and he was fine. The dog could get away. What happened then is different experiments happen. And then his approach evolved was what he would he would electric soon electrify side a the dogwood shuttle to side b he would electrify sh Side be the dog would shuttle to side a and then back and forth like this go on and on until the dogs hard to learn that no matter which side they were on they were kidding shocked and then what would happen eventually. How long. I don't know spent a while since i've read any of this but Sooner than later the dogwood just huddle regardless of the shock in the corner of the cage and not even bother jumping. That's heavy and it basically just shows that when we fill like when when our agency is ameliorated when our sense of if i take an action things will get better. But then they don't and that happens over and over and over again it creates a sense of like Why why bother we give up. I would say that we have absolutely given up. And i know this sounds horribly dark and there's gonna be some folks out there. They're going to say. I haven't given up but i'm just saying let's be real here. You can give up and still be energized by negativity around you in that. Be the thing that you talk about. Not be the thing that you comment on facebook about when you read things you dislike or whatever or you like to stir shut up. You're the person who is electrifying. The boxer the person who's creating the fear and the worry by posting whatever you think we'll get a reaction because that's the other part of the advertising model. It's about posting things that get a reaction so you get click through or comment or whatever this whole thing is. Actually i think the backbone of the problem in our society and i don't see that there's a way out of it. Jared linear has The father of a i. He has proposed that instead of an advertising model for the internet that it should be us being paid for our data and that kind of thing that would get away from. You know this kind of approach. We're just so far down the path it's impossible. It's just impossible anyway i. I'm feeling dark. Just acknowledging all of this and talking about all of it. But i do see this. I do think you have to understand. The core set of dynamics here that have that are creating our current situation again. If you don't agree with any of this you say for religious purposes or whatever you find you have all the hope in the world and you don't see anything that i'm seeing. I wish i was you. I don't see how any of us personally. I would disagree with you. Because i just don't see how any of us can escape this thing. This force constantly coming out. As this external force constantly constantly utilize our own physiology are dren rights and cortisol and all those things to reinforce it our own thinking patterns earn addiction to kind of reliving trauma being fixated on s defining who we are again. That would be much more culturally driven than not so. I wanted then. Just jump off this. And i want to spend some time in the next two sections providing some hope and the hope the the whole point of all of this today. I hope you get even the statement of me. Seeing me providing hope is a problem. It's more like what do you do to promote. Hope in your life and the most important thing that we do is by taking responsibility for our sense of hope. We are always looking for external forces authorities governments. You know when. I say thirties is like our bosses. The organization we worked for to fix us to fix our happiness. Our families in society distinctly for whatever reason distinctly canadian thing as a canadian. I can say this confidence. I rarely hear conversations on the news for instance. cbc which is supposed to be pretty liberal About personal responsibility. It's always what the government is or isn't doing for us right where your organization is or isn't doing for you and that that to me seems just extremely wild because in the end my government my boss my organization is not responsible for my happiness. I am hopefully. They're not doing a press of things you know to fuck up my happiness but ultimately i'm responsible for that even when everything around me is not well in good. They're just two important quotes. I i want to spend some time with. I've alluded to the one by rich role. And just so that. I get this right. It might read it a couple of times. But where i had found. This was he had posted on I think it was instagram or facebook. Just kind of a running thought quite a few paragraphs on basically the work it takes to get somewhere in the very kind of skip do tons of it very very very very and he makes this statement the statement is resist indulging in negative self worth chart. Your course keep showing up. Stay the path and toss out the time. Line everything about that comment about that statement about that closing remark to all the things. They hid written above. Hit me Like a ton of bricks and it's just so simple it's so simple but so Spot on the first sentence is resist indulging in negative self worth and really what he's talking about there is that reinforcing nature of focusing on what you're not and the kind of negative feelings that come from that that could be very indulgent in of itself and then basically what same from there as creative plan stick to it and don't worry about how long it takes we're all you know if you for instance you know to become a runner. You might have a vision about you know running a certain event or being able to run a certain way in the future and oftentimes you know in the media teaches us that we don't need to do all the work to get there. We should just get there fast. But that's just not true. I'm coming back to running after a couple of months off That couple months dropped my fitness down to nothing gained forty fifty pounds or whatever. It was just horrible. Kind of penick weight is taken me sixteen weeks to be able to run comfortably and watch my heart rate. Drop enough to wear Yelm noticing my improve fitness. My view to max is going up sixteen weeks. I'm on week seventeen. Actually i the point is is going to probably take another sixteen to really nail it and see weight come off at all and wait not being the course the maximum goal here. It's just me feeling good. So instead of indulging in how it's not working right i chart my course i have a plan i keep to it. I'm running four five times a week. I miss it up. I mess it up no big deal and i get back on track right away i stand. The path is what that really meant. And then i just don't get too addicted to the timeline. Allow myself so much time to succeed. You know it's going to be You know the ten months now before next may when the b. o. vancouver marathon when i'm shooting for and love. People take sixteen weeks as a for marathon. I'm taking like three times that. I'm allowing myself plenty of time because again that timeline can be the greatest evil eye then of credit my own Quote here and might read it a couple of times again just to make my point but i am saying wallowing in trauma of the past. Won't fearing the future as a track to dis- four ya only reliving only relived by dopamine inducing habits admittedly brief but effective so walgreen in trauma of the past while in the future is a fast track to this for you. Only relived only relieved by dopamine inducing habits admittedly brief but effective we. We can't spend so much time defining ourselves by our past or our history and then at the same time being sandwiched in the middle of having a hopeless future. That's the point here. We have to take responsibility for building that path. Forward ritual called self-indulgent and you're focused much negative self worth and. I think that's really the best language possible there. There really will be no peace unless we can Take absolute and determine responsibility for the outcomes in our life. It really hope is really about us. It's not what someone is gonna give us. It's not what our government's gonna do for us or any of that kind of thing it's ultimately about us and what we choose to do. So then how do you do that. Right quick with some here some kind of quick tips. I just threw down five or six of them for how we can fix. Our path alter our path create are hopeful driven path. And something that some of these things. I try to practice myself and even though i try to practice them. Non have hope mastered. Oh my god not even sort of. I have periods in my week. Where i seem i seem to sink so low in my head about where things are going and so it's a practice. Maybe like meditation practice. How we organize our thoughts and the things that we choose to do and focus on his practice so here are my sex items reframe everything everywhere when people speak hopeless speech around you re frame it reframing. Just don't don't get too caught up in it. you're not trying to ignore. Maybe people expressing their own frustration. But a lot of that. Frustration is unproductive. Talk it's just up. The someone is repeating ten times a day so when you hear it at least in your head even if you don't do that loud reframe and do it everywhere your life with your boss with your colleagues with your employees with your spouse with your mother-in-law all of it reframe everything everywhere the second point stay completely away from the news. This is so hard on my. I have about a forty five minute to hour and a half in the morning depending on traffic and i have to focus on putting it on putting it on a music station Karna music station Xm radio it's too easy just jumped and again the only reason i do it. It's not to be informed because the information ever really changes is because it's a bit energizing negativity in the hopelessness. It's a bit energizing If you don't believe me to spend some time digging in about that. Really kind of augur in think about why. I'm saying that. it is kind of like. Oh my gosh. it's something that takes you away from yourself for a moment but in a very dark way. The plan simple. Stay away from the news ltd. Massively the third point Focus focus on wellness kind of your bio psycho social spiritual self over fixing the past. We already know that fixing trying to like spend all your time fixing your past. Doesn't work truly can say as a clinician as a former clinician. The path happiness. I do not believe is in. Fixing or reconciling your past. I think that in a in psychotherapy when you develop at therapeutic relationship with someone with someone and helping them go through their journey. You do need to spend some time in historical trauma or just hit historical things not going well. Not everything is trauma we. We tend to think everything is trauma. Trauma is a really serious word. Okay so you know. The person i am today is not because i fixed anything in my past the person i am today because i fixed me now so i'm waiting to feel better to be better to all better. It's because you know waiting while i'm working on my past. It's just literally. I can promise you will never happen. Those goodwill hunting moments goodwill hunting. Is that you know that very famous movie about a therapist and the journey of a young man who was physically abused and and the very end of the movie. There was hugging scene between the two of them because it was realized what was really happening with him as a child that is complete and utter. Bullshit it's nice. It really makes for good screen time. It's just not reality right you. Your past is what it is. It's true and you need to process that information you you will do nothing for yourself and being anchored to it. That is the point that i'm making to you and i know people not trying to offend anybody. I'm just trying to say that's not where the solution sits. The solution sits now. The fourth point is Do good work and build your future one day at a time. This is really harking back to what ritual said even if you don't see the outcome quite yet oftentimes kind of you know kind of wellness pathways are little bit like moving in the fog. We don't really see but we can hear a foghorn we can kind of start moving closer towards towards it and building a path towards it but we can't really see that is a lot of what wellness is about So to good work do really good self care. Self directed work. Do really good work at work. Be really good at something and build your future one day to time. Even if you don't see the outcome quay add keep showing up. Keep showing The fifth point is just build a path forward. Even if you don't know where it leads. Now that's different than what i just said before because before i said you know there's a foghorn and you're paying attention to that fog cornea very specific thing. Sometimes you don't have a very specific thing and sometimes your journey takes you to a place you would have never ever expected. Sometimes it's good not to try to force a future state right. Sometimes it's good to build that path. Keep showing up even if you don't know exactly where it's going to lead you know it's gonna lead somewhere good. You just don't know where it's going to lead and have faith that that's the case. I think that's what this fifth point really means the last point and this is i think another bedrock that has really helped me personally is focused on others over yourself. Elevate others for me. I try to do this at work I of course have to see what my husband says. But you know. I i think focusing on others in every part of your life is certainly important but i think at work in particular is i'm always looking for opportunities to bring people along moi's looking for opportunities to say. Hey here's what i did and it work. Let's go People that for instance are interested in leadership. I'm always looking for those people And trying to give them the tools or the way of thinking or the framework to help get them there Too often people that want to do leadership have never done it and they think that they can do it as not as hard work. It's a pretty wild ride. A been doing it for twenty five plus years and yeah so so i really make that. Major focus is really focused on others over myself and that seems to make me a pretty happy person elevating others. Yeah i would say that's a bedrock piece. All right guys this has got them for forty two minutes. And i hope that my tone and worrying. Let's just put it this way. I worry that my tone in really establishing the levity of our current problem really has weighed this. The tone of what. I'm saying down. The ultimate purpose of me diving today is to express my gratitude for rich role in particular for always dane positive when positively and hope does not win. Ritual is one of these guys that at times i find frustrated myself so that's completely besides the point every once in a while you hear me make an off handed comment. I was the bigger picture of ritual as he's always stayed on the proactive and positive path and not gone dark. Knock on negative not done things for click throughs and in the end. That long game is very very fruitful. And i'm expressing gratitude in his statement resist indulging negative self worth chart. Your course keep showing up. Stay the path and toss out the time line. This is the best thing. I've heard in a long time and i think that's what i want you to hear. I want you to know and believe that. You are responsible for the outcome. Do not wait for others. Do not wait for the pandemic to go away. Do not wake for the climate to be fixed if you want to be fixed. Stop using plastic bags and go vegan. For christ's sake you know do things. It's your responsibility and that is ultimately what. I'm trying to say here. All right guys it is about building hoping it is about building a happiness and We have to build our mental framework forgetting there and we have to hold to that framework to stay on that path. And i think that's the ultimate message you guys take care. You know peace and light. I look forward to your feedback especially episodes like this and we will chat soon cheers.

seligman Jared killick amy robertson Emmy robertson Kaduna facebook vancouver google un Jared linear toronto Seligman Yelm Cbc british columbia Kim cnn instagram cbc
Charlie Austin: The Offside Rule Exclusives

The Offside Rule (We Get It!)

36:17 min | 3 years ago

Charlie Austin: The Offside Rule Exclusives

"Strike Charlie. Charleston plays for Southhampton, but his journey to the English top-flight started in the non league Kim ranges and Hungerford town working as a bricklayer in its early playing years, the football career, he knows today is worlds away from the life he wants need. But one thing has always been the same. His ability to school goals success at pull Swindon and then Burnley would ultimately lead to a primarily debut for PR in twenty fourteen fifteen. And that same season he received a first call up to the England national team. Charlie sits down with the off side rule to discuss it unusual pathway to the top. The managers have helped shape his career. The big characters in dressing rooms and say, shares his views on academies. This episode is guest edited by Sarah shepherd, who writes for the coaches, boys. Exclusives with cable, say, and Lindsey hookah. Well, we're joined by Johnny Allston as he's taking some time out as he recovers from an injury and just want to start by asking you about that moment, every professional football you speak to them, and there's a moment when you sign that first contract and what do you remember that feeling and the build up to? It also went to Swindon that come come with me then on agent. So we just went and saw the forms and also excited nervous Renault what to expect. And then when I signed just to get go, and it was always dreamt of of doing my first federal contract, but a new there was a big mountain to climb and hard work to start up. Now going back, you all one of the football that's had the journey through the league's, not many say they've gone from non-legal the way through just wondering in terms of the the boy, that's. Playing football to that moment, how difficult it was up to four in every was great. I was reading the Kadhamy. It was fine. Every boy is going to be the footballer. They'd be released an for the next two years of still two years left at school, and I found it suffered some freezing stop at noise. SCO done Austria who I ended up build firm, so I kind of knew that don't get good grades. I'm gone what fame so that was fine. So that was the case I went to what him plates, non lake, an an Cup, quit plan that and plus me building money and always happy it was. It was good, fun still wasn't what I wanted to do. And as years ago, Martinez years come into end off for never going to make a foot, but I'll have to play in the non league as possible and always enough that of he does happen to me and the and the rest of the journey began to say that leaving reading fifteen. As you date he went on to school, you say that you're a bit naughty. That doesn't surprise me because suddenly you're a fifteen year old kid and and your young adult you've dealt with Peabo. You're still going free PBC and suddenly life as you know it, six years or so at reading, was it suddenly life as you know, it stops takes dramatic turn. What does that do? Because I'm thinking about other kids going through a cadidates as well, because this is not not an uncommon story, but how did he fail and what do you do? How do you try and handle that? The at the end of the six years, red got release the last say two months was quite difficult for me. So I was enjoying it no more. And it was kind of relief at the end Assad thing at the end of fifty release me. It was kind of relief that it was was over a fat bit just because I didn't grow. I was planning only other players and stuff. I was massive over just wasn't that didn't fit out until. Immolate saints, and it just went someone else enjoying. An often asked why always expressed to parents and the most fun you've called enjoy it because there's no point getting the call your parents and driving an hour, the right to God do try to die. You'll enjoy doing that. You're not letting anybody else down by telling them not what was it? Good fame for my mom and dad. They backed me hundred percent and after that Safran just took off from there, but the the hard thing is getting across the parents is just making sure you enjoy what is the kids because you don't want to be the one to be the burden. Say, you've got to go there. Remnant diner fro because the end today the nobody's going to be happy that. System lacks. Do you think kids go into it too young? Yeah, difficult. Isn't it? Because we're here at Southampton, of course, famous great academy, famous academy radio, which has started the careers of many well-known footballers, but just reflecting on on your own experience, which which obviously wasn't here at Southampton. For more experience we spoke to me are a different size Jones will prosper come come for all the other name service for me because never worked off and not have dislike Adams for may. Never work off. Your guts am for hard work, and they come great things but off differently. Take kids to early six, seven, eight and nine. Even when I went to read at nine or that was great at the time off to learn from our experience. Yeah, maybe it was too, so maybe stayed and played my friends more weekends. My Bush should have been with my school team faint big thing. You go into school. It's great play football with them in in the tennis court snap. But when it comes to the end. Their plan school matches you allowed to play. I think that's hard to take an advocates start thinking of what he thinks he must think he's better than us an footsie. That's just the way kids think. So, yeah, for male defeat, we take kids to. I wanted to ask because I'm not sure whether this is one of those things where people have gone. Oh, you know what? Jamie Vardi came through the non league rates so to Charleston. Charleston used to be a bricklayer. We've got nice story. So as Jamie, they must've been childhood friends were you or is this just a complete myth? Didn't know Jamie. Didn't actually meet Jamie really until we played against each other, both nature story. And then we didn't really get closely Southfield, I have a real conversation. So we buy during the nuts on that on that was it. She seem what he's done. It's been incredible story. He's won the ladies east Basie. They've everybody's, everybody's trained, my guess, fantastic story. And there there's many plays out as mccowan Tony is doing west, I'm now that is many, many nonleague plays just need to be given the chance, but we know out the way modem foot was gone. Now I am chances a few and far between that was here as well. Did Rickie Lambert. She never be famous beetroot story. We're gonna beetroot factory. And is there something that bundy's when you have the experience and you meet with them? One light, Jamie bodies taken a similar route. Nothing will ever be identical because everyone's pathways different. But is there a bonding experience over that respect experience? Definitely. There were all, Mattie, because you know because of the book. So I'd always builder Jamie today's Ricky. That is your know that we've come from different pathway and what the hard way to get. And I'm not saying people in the Addams don't call to get up at Footplate coat. We live in a bubble. We don't realize what the outside world is so that. So why sad? And then when you speak in exchange stories and we talked about an on days when you've been in a tough situation, it does make you think. Yeah, was that, but now pod works paid off because you have that unusual ability to know what life was like before and what it's like to go and pick up a wage and how if all goes in what can happen with an injury and different things that just that flash moment, which could mean a career is over, you know what it was like before it probably gives you gratitude an extra gratitude. Would you say that the family network that you have is being critical because you followed in footsteps with you? Granddad under father paid for similar teams. I think so, yeah, ever since I was young, always at a bull and me me Granddad played football and Myung Daranee was down down at Portsmouth, and his brother was Br angel. So it was kind of always been in the family, the football as young boy. I think you'll waste wanna be football until you get certain age, even in in the single digits before Tanner, what? Whatever you wanna be a foot until he found other things every light. Now I'm gonna try something else. If you spoil, you're not. You kinda think football is always one of them. Things at Skoda's are frowned upon on a lot of people. And if you enjoy it, then great if it's not. I said, well, I think I was always destined to to play football. You back to the real life is football life and situation to you think it would be a good idea for young emerging players today to have a year or two years out learning trade, doing something practical, not only to make sure that their feet stay on the ground because of course he can blame these young kids that surrounded in a bubble. From such a young age, do you think that the league should think about something like that, getting them to learn a tray, getting them to spend a period of time out of the game has an eyesore. Something about Cardiff met that they're doing a degree. So they're actually educating footballers walls. They're playing and they get to play in the first team and hopefully get scattered that way. But that's another avenue that people gain down offering the here's great Sedona tribe. You think that these these undulated that's just left school working. They're trying their hardest to get professional contracts. There's no getting away from that though. MacOS skip, professional, unearth gator. I in contract, you do need some into full back on as many, many places been great food that means and then don't quite make it. And then unfortunately, everything has been football where there's nothing to really fall back on. I think that may be something to think for in the future that there needs to be stuff another PFA and put all sorts of classes on for for. All right. We do need to after these these youngsters because it's a big wide world. You can live in a bubble here. The f. facility Serra fantastic. Everything. Food drink training, pitches United Oldham foyer in the real world is different as Iran empathy. Then when when we think about the women's game, Lindsey, I of of of interviewed loads of female players. Some of whom playing at the top level until recently will working just like you did an hour's journey to work an hour back and then straight into training in the evenings. And that's only we just just just changed within the last couple of years. So an empathy from you, perhaps towards some of the female players, he was still living that life or just recently finished living that life just being there, there'd be. It was a big word may dispense to anybody else hasn't done done that, but he do feel a little bit more grateful for what you've got an NF Email game. Yeah, offing they would as well because I is a big part if you can dedicate your whole your whole situation, your own life to this one spol-. Then it's fantastic. But if you've gone work and get away to provide for yourself and then go through this sometime football us to take a back step. But when you can then dedicate it to be your whole life, he said, my thing. I've been times in your life when you have doubted your 'cause doubted going into football. I read an interview with your dad. I think when you joined Hungerford he said, you found Friday nights and so became an open difficult for you say I was fifteen hundred red him so year ten at school, finish school and everybody just getting out, they jump. They find different things. A move to Hungerford up. I south found Friday nights and nothing that was down down, used to guard caught on a Friday before planting for them. You take it serious. I just tried to win a few few quit there and it wasn't until moved to pull town where I'm kinda penny jot different. If I didn't sit very similar age, just different areas as just general. I'm gonna give this right, go just moved to a new area. Need to show people can do and always fortunate to to make that one little change. If not out before a game made an absolute massive difference for me and really changed my whole life. Download the free by the food and dic-. When was that moment that you realize I've got goalscoring instincts, everyone talks about the instinct that you need in front of goal. Not something that you've got to have. No way school goes, you know, throughout my career for out being being a young stuff, something always done, and I never even full is it's an instinct is just just happened. Just manage to office gift guess the money people have tried to to coach me and try me, but at the Al was Awad econo- just let ages coached me to get in different positions, whereas that helped me to the next level and the next level which which is fantastic. I mean, the goal score you've gotta you haven't and for mayo, Alcon habit, but this plenty of plenty of players out there that show that if you work as hard as possible, then then you re rewards and not if people mention about the timing of runs with strikers and the things that you're doing off the bowl is what is putting the ball in the back of the nets. When you look at someone, I'm going to pick out an example. You might have your own. You looked up Taber someone like Teddy Sheringham. He's got that sort of footballing brain and knowing where to. Be when is that something that you've muddled yourself on with other other influences share share was was the best to sixty permanently goes thing. I was going to be this power stays in England that simply so up that for me base my game around him, but the bull comes up to him holed up, said off spin, getting the box for me that that's it. If it comes up to me, some poops is no interest in the player to when the bull comes up, just don't do nothing. Give it back then for me to team in school goals, and I'm July foot enough to create space for me nowhere to go. Often, great communication, you teammates. That's the main thing you might runs a put the ball out and then the rest of history make it sound so simple, Charlie, Sarah secret. In terms of your mentality, you ever stop to think about all spoken to anyone about the mentality that you might have that makes you different. In terms of you being a prolific goalscorer, you've never really dried up. Have you in terms of goals, do you visualize it? Is there anything that you can put it down to always it just natural? Is it a natural thing? Figure out this hour about thing where every time ago of going to school can be able to you. I'm going to school often. That's that's helped me through the whole way and it's not to Kurt ways your seven that noise arrogance that good arrogance. Everybody needs really as go school. You need that ain't gonna pitch. Dow in yourself is such. I'm gonna get a chance twenty not school. You end up snatching at stuff. Taking a little bit more time positive when you should take show on positive white. But when you inform you try all sorts of stuff familiar was Philly. Like I'm going to school whenever apply. Kazin but never get to you because you've been called up for England, not unfortunately had the chance to put the ball in the back of the net yet. But when you've got that moment and that comes, didn't that occasion. Is there anything that's going to those tough question to the comes in it. No, that was that was tough one too tight because of slate did very well school didn't a semi final cut to the final that was great guy. One down and the house. They all build up. It was mad. I mean, my play my first game of the season for Poole town, I guess new Milton I think it was in front of sixty people and then apply last game, two seasons, basically legal employer final about seventy thousand the Wembley. I mean, how did it was? It was mad Wilma years as pub guy one down. I think how about this is going on, then I'll go through on goal with with the goalkeeper put put a modest scored bubble on the sheet, and I was devastated really devastated up member to see seeing there was a woman just beyond just by the post, and she just looked to me of a hands on the add on God, still Elsie this, and then I'll add a chance Roddam whether keep us safe that just that things just that just like little stepping stones to make your big cartoon, the bigger person and nothing more at Mohegan. Arrogance. It's very small Tae took a little not because when you fail, I'm gonna score every time we if it was easy, we plan for boss around it would be the best in the world, you know. And that was the eight ball on grew off that game and took a good step on should say that when you're at Burnley you matching Ronaldo and Messi I think go for gold at one point one eight. And let's talk about the name. He made the move up to the championship from Swindon not via the playoff final, but put by moving to ban with Eddie. How different sin setup. Again, it's another leap, isn't it? Did it fit right in with you, or did you have to make changes to make changes at discount? My shoulder in the September was against Southampton for Swindon. We have to find, then I'll make the move up to Burnley. Planning Trump is a big step to be the last four months from broke up there now plan. The second hearing is football and it was crazy. I played four games in our discount shoulder getting training. So tough an operation for them, full five months to preseason. It seemed like so my lifetime, but it was probably some on needed. My it sounds bigger stronger, fits comeback in preseason off, ready to go up those nervous gang coast to show them what I could do. And that was it really just took off an unschooled, the goals it was. It was a good move for me. Time bunny just been Nazi, come down from the permanently. Eddie just been been his first sign and it was someone not of ready ready wanted what with because consign for him, probably imams beforehand. Special a group of special manages within your career. I mean, he's he's coming for you. I think three times a couple of times for borth at different periods and obviously was successful in getting you Burnley. So you've not actually had a lot of game time with him, but is he someone who stands out in your career? And is there anyone else manager who kind of coach wise definitely stands out for me because he was going to give me the opportunity when I was on some grateful for him for that. And then I'll see took me to burn the championship one for me is is so special Ed and good bond with him, and he does all success. He's gonna get someone if I need any help with. For example, when it happened with West Palm, he was always at a cool mates to make sure that was okay and vise meal and stuff what to do, and he is all more inches of hearts. Thankful been good in a certain way. Danny Wilson for taking the chance to me one Eddie Elkin the pavilion editors I can meet a Bernie was fantastic. Then when Sean Deutsche come in at a manager like show before. An the. He was fantastic for me. He, he just took me to the next level with with fitness wise and just showed me a different way have been strike. And now every light workman Sean, then when it didn't work out in the summer of with Mike and the move, he couldn't just sets me a little bit slow workout from behind a Wenski PR. And he said to me, let don't change you. You what you're about. Just just beginning take what you can come that people get moose and finger after do something special. You just gonna take your stuff and then learn from the other place when tyrod not be everybody knows about how he was fantastic for me, built me up. Give me a lot of confidence in all kind of fry thunder and got got my chance in the primarily again, the tree Mappin 's not was it, then then come down there and it's been fantastic since. Video. Harry gave you, and that's where I originally met. You keep your an pretty much every press conference he talk about you and what China Justin can bring in since then. Actually, Kate was saying that they did a forum with keep your funds and your the one player that they all said that they would like to have back your time at keep ya and that wind that it gave you. How do you feel that that rest in your entire career that time it keep your and also in terms of choosing times to move on from places? Is that as important in a football in careers when you move on and what the move is you make as anything else different because you start place too low. Not work out. All you got the Gobi Brian might move. So when I left the Swindon it was right moved because six months later they got relegated. So for the time, right, move for me to to move to bunny q. Piaf going to say that just guy from the permanence it's very well documented in the world. What what's going on the club. However, the massive massive players that was and for me to fill in lots of prove again, because as as England caps isn't national caps for primary league appearances for fun. For me, it was fantastic, two and a half years there. I scored four goals in about ninety gains for them. It was fantastic. Them become a funds favorite. They love me to just fell. It was the right time for me to go when I did leave it. It was tough for me to go, but it was. It was a right move from Moscow for my career because on to the next level. There were few plays that the been this crazy spending spree and off the pitch. Often football get asked, do you ever get by what's happening off the pitch? But given that situation, it felt like there was a financial thing going on, where could they sustain this? The wages that some players were on those what it is. He was well documented, go capable sudden triple figures. It was. It was everywhere. Like, say, the club was documented, how much money was paying that front and center? Did it make an on the mostly in the train dream? Not really, but everybody know when he wouldn't put it in that way. It was as an easy one size for c. sit there and this this and the other by the China Club was troubled. And I think when I come now, a lot of people said, why give him a new belief? And I was enough to say that all just part of a good team at great team spirit, good spine that say, and deserve to get promotion. The end. Horseracing. 'cause he likes it. Ause when I'm a first winner or plight against villa and the premise choosy one to kneel at school to that my first winner Worcester on Wednesday, safey varies. Is it not scored against Chelsea on the Saudi influencing Las? See what fantastic member teddy magante. It was still go horse running ice and he says, gonna win. I'm not too sure let they must've five times in about half an hour before the races. He's gonna win. I say, yeah. Yeah, it's kinda Weltman else she wants. Fantastic. I lot timeframe, and it was something that kinda we spoke about away from football and I don't always get manages. Nobody's just down the line and and it's football and finally, and I said, but we cannot have different bit because of the rice him. He's set up a fantastic website actually call. The coaches voice has been guest that we always have a female guest at every every karston she's provided some of the questions today, so it must say, thank you to her. She was asking us about your goal as well. So you've got basically horses. Football horses, go family. We won't say which one comes in. Any order Thomas about this, perhaps as talk about horses versus golf, how much time do you get for each of those? And is there bigger passion for one of those areas off to win. So. Friend, pull Fisher that he runs Sinica run acceleration with Moi more love for the game with appropriate dissipate because this is plenty of downs more than it's a fantastic sport. Great loads of people, love, young people that have older people, something I'm passionate about always be involved in so infectious. I think you'll ever level you will. You don't really know, certainly love it. Invited you to history Ables and they impressive. Because from all accounts, it's huge amount alone. He's go up the keep you up. Keep you up at the two years ago. Fantastic. It was lovely silly. I as more he's done up those incredible. He certainly on empire official golf horse racing in football. Sarah did say if you could only watch one of them for the rest of your life look at the face, which would it be? She like watching football for enough watchful pimp. I watched food the other day I worked Austin, Chelsea when it was too Greg game foot. When it be the same, what's from the Cup? It was no one else is terrible. For months? Yes, I'm not up. If I'm gonna be might somewhere out there the other than yet. Right. What you bet. Not only tell it most. I'm wondering in terms of everybody says that the goal scoring high you get is the highest possible. Then surely watching your winning horse, go over the finish, like what? What it was we're not scored on the Monday in Atma first win on Wednesday. It was kind of very similar feelings ago, illness, various an I enjoyed at the award. It's last forever. Eve really immersed in that world now is not something that post football, the horse racing could become the next thing. Think so. Although it's much shut off lights. Not to coach coach. Yeah, I'd like to get because my experience in the upbringing, we've come same. Jamie stood now. I think it it'd be ashamed to to not be able to pass onto verse youngsters, oh parents, you know that be sending owed which and look look to get involved. If that was a way to to help anybody that the race will be apart my life for. Does that mean Dame badges then saying, yeah, I think so. In that case it with to south them because you never know when you're gonna get cool too. Football school off. Got one a lot from Swindon runs. It is fantastic. The kids, the kids without without the coaches don't run. They go Mike it to be a fun, exciting experience for them. It's always wanted to do. It's fun local from from where I'm from an kids really enjoy it. Don't like it. I've got daughter just she's today. She's been to a World Cup final and she doesn't give stuff football. Honestly, she's seen so many pretty things. Yes, she comes his only before. I'm gonna keep Chenevey tip because she's on a young Nashville. She loves it. Nothing sing songs, Berlin. She thinks Brandt's settled in fish don't get when she's at school and the the boy said, you'll, that's Charleston. She died. She don't get get up and get that. Real conscience about you'll, you'll life why you've come from and how you've got there. And I'm getting a real sense of that one into give it back from an interesting one looking at it. This is a completely different life to what you've had, but look at the the winners, the England winners. We've had under nineteen winners and under twenty one success. You look at those young players who've had success nationally and then a struggling with that clip sides. And what would you do with those? It must be so frustrating. There was the photo as well where they put their names on the front and you think what? I appreciate why they did that because they may only have this moment. That's how I found then as much as you appreciate that the plan for the country. So it goes to, but the Saad new avenue goes for Germany, go for years and years on hand for them players my mic it to the top and a nervous fall away. And I think that that's just part part and parcel of football. I think. That we do each other before we do need to have something full them. Buffering football is just to one driven sport is all about success, and it's great to have it. Then in engine, the twenty one's gonna have in in in the main Scott. But we just need to make sure they've caused enough support as possible. Still got plenty of I'm visions there yourself happens. Some great need to get fit. Every every belief in myself also goes for this Cup, and if the chance are taking by funds goalkeeping keeping, Dave Watson said about you. I texted Dave last night and said, right, what do I hit him with? But he's been really nice about USA. Let's let's go into the mentality a bit a real winner. He says a real strength within our group, influential personality and character. So he's basically telling us that your boss man in the dressing room with your personality and with the example that unite to set, is that an important role for you now and also thinking about you'll career as it becomes more and more cedar the from our from from someone as a character that everybody likes. And he's a very good friend of mine. Joe on Virga friend of mine are learn from him, not everybody believed what he said. More is actions were. And if you didn't like him set to winning was getting you up for a game was fantastic if you like to use with more not. It was fun to Ican out, but we Sutton's away at the site and so odd to Khan really, never really to us until publi the the last I e mumps assay when we when we needed the lift and I've taken it well and I think that's kind of buying ser. So we'll have to side because Sam getting an older person, I'm getting older plan, I'm experience. And when you've got big voice, do you need to get the young that's on board when they get behind Jen, you try not. You play out in the game will just out for game with them beyond it makes a massive difference or if he's young lads needs to Aparna bucket. So yes, come on all the needs. The need to. You need to tell them off than than what they need as well. But they kind of for me when I do, I'll see a difference in them and it kind of gives me a little bit bus off-again respect to say. Aside from football, even as the moment you'll recovering in an oxygen tank. So you take a book the take some as you told me any of rubbish. Rubbish TV. But in terms of interesting people that that kind of you like to take an example from all all, read about your reading that is Paul Kimmage book on a rugby player. Tell me tell me what about that story appeals to you and say, you know, in the modern day to have a player who still reads books, forgive me, but that's pretty unusual that from j Barton as well as I was always reading day, philosophers says, now I'm gonna get into book, but they wanna get into an oil bug for search. Are they wanna get into big for them? Flick for the medical staff, Tom off book for you, give it to me and said, let me know what you think after this thing's incredible Hudson is inspirations. Everybody thinks he's to give up and we should just give up and that he's fly non live your life to four. And he wanted to win and say he was the under twenty one England at pro and just split amendments changes. Whole life is all family's life. It just made me think maybe realize anything's limit try as hard as you can stories inspiration in special anybody that's been lucky enough to read it or get the hands on a book then would say the same thing because as much as a side story on the flipside of fantasy story and gives everybody kind of a big lift or big kick backside when they feel down. I think they've got been hard done by this guy was meant to be the next Betsy tins, but what are your split name days moments, VA moments, Friday nights, Friday nights, moving move into Bundy when I was twenty one to grow up and guns, keep with big characters, big. Charters. And then being linked with about seven, eight, twenty permanently clubs in the summer, the not getting that move. And then finally getting the move, I felt I deserved in January this now because you said earlier that you didn't have an agent when he went to swing, can you I really do with an agent now you saw because more agents, my best friend is my best mama let him. So it's difficult because USO many stories about, but agents. Free full of is basic though he dog world where modern Simone is Jace miss me best friends, and he is a Goldfarb to my kids. So it's it's different in that way. But without 'em when it comes down to great stuff with with contracts and stuff. You can use Lois, but you need someone, you can trust you need someone that he knows got your back in and do the best fully in this hypothetical wild of the several punk cast. We're gonna let you break Iran deal here in terms of playing alongside some one. So current footballers in the world. Who would you choose to be alongside right now? Mesi fa me always been a big renowed. I fund big renowned. However, just as my. Just as my. However messy is, is the best plan people go on about, say, Maradona his a guy for me, this guy's broke. Every record there is to play alongside envy refund. Tastic could bring it to the Premier League because that's the one question Mark. Many people have says. Who knows who knows been supremely orelon say he's the best plan ever seen kickable. And we have a group of fans that followed you all the way through your career. I think it's from pulled as you might even be in touch with the money that you're in touch with Tom Killick still haven't. You got stunned as well that the fee that was, they got some money from one of your sign on phase two. Gopher sports NAS week actually. Now I find tacit. Yeah, when they build stuff, that's a name. One off make may suffer. Fantastic right club. It's every success because when all laugh, they actually won the league again, two more times. They want it free times on the bounce fund itself this yet. But however, how fantastic club and I was so inviting for myself. My family considering we'd come from come hung for, don't just moved down there. They was brilliant and they'll be close to because they give me the chance to to prove of was bad. Then we'll show it. On of say, I'll give them plenty of money to get ready on. Now. I know whether they had away a mistake raise close as they follow your career, these into everything else. They did have a wager on you which could pay out at some point. You know about this plover and goodness. Jim rayson hundred and fifty five pound saying they, they would night and off thousands of some. I think some seven devastate with, I'll think elm familiar was. Represented country, but for them, it'd been lovely little goldmine for them when fund SaaS, it just shows. They will shut the money for funding ready finger what happened, but then they'll get get so close yet so far off getting that money. But law said the funds people down. Fantastic. You talk about that woman's face behind the goal and always being grain in your mind, but I'm wondering as you England, just in your definitely definitely, they know is going on it was it was well thought human. They was going to get if you could, if played for England. That's just PA PA. It was just what just bring it full circle. Now you outside Thompson enjoying yourself, hit your near your family. You narrate the family knew when you were Burnley is this failing like final club VA. It was a funny game as we say, don't mean anything can offend in football. About how definitely I'm in the middle about two two. I'm from twenty minutes. Why on God's parents which lot fully minutes away? Fantastic. Love here is really progress me on his myself that to to nightmare injuries of went off, plight off still scored. The goals of income. Sixteen goes in about twenty starts for the club. So familiar. I am. It's been great for majors hoped on, get fitting on, finish the season, strong, so great club to be a part. It's not gonna Gracie far this season, but we've definitely got the belief in that seems to push out his sticky situation. Is produced by offside productions and edited by Lucy libary.

football England Swindon Cup Jamie Charlie Hungerford Lindsey Burnley Southampton Charleston Tom Killick Sean Deutsche England national team Iran Sarah shepherd Johnny Allston bundy Kadhamy Renault
Mark E. Watson III, How To Show Up in Life and Go Do It (#188)

How'd It Happen Podcast

57:57 min | 2 weeks ago

Mark E. Watson III, How To Show Up in Life and Go Do It (#188)

"Hey everybody welcome back to the. How did happen podcast. I'm your host mike testa. I'm an entrepreneur who founded and led to eight figure companies. I'm also an investor author speaker and lifetime learner on this podcast. I explore stories of success in every episode with guest. What it means why it's important and of course how it happens. You can subscribe connect and learn more about me at mike. Testa dot com. Hey everybody welcome back to the. How'd it happen podcast. I'm so thankful that you're here listening. And today you are in for another treat because in this episode. I am talking with marquee watson and mark is the founder of akilah that i say that right mark. You said it right. Thank you capital partners which he founded in one thousand nine hundred eighties. Also the chairman of that company and beyond that mark is an investor entrepreneur serial entrepreneur new. We'll talk a little bit about that. And philanthropist as well. His mission is to support the next generation of entrepreneurs building purpose driven. Innovative technology enabled companies. And there's a lot more to it and you're going to hear all about it as we get started so mark. I do wanna ask. Also mentioned that. Marks website is mark e watson i for the third right mark latin. I dot com so mark. Welcome to the show. Thank you for joining me. Thanks for having me mike. I think also one thing. I i left out you. You think you're a wipe yo member as well as at correct. Yeah that's true. I've i've been in why peo- gosh twenty five twenty. Plus years twenty death commit actually now in white peo- gold. Yeah which is why. Peo- old fifty fifty over s right. But it's been a wonderful resource. And i have friends all over the world from being in that organization. Whoa great. we have that in common. Because i've been wipe yo for eleven years. I think now. I am also in the gold old but i like. I actually like gold. I like it a lot. It's been a good experience because you're always a little bit kick you out of why peo- when you're when you turn fifty and you you're or maybe it's better to say that they elevate you to gold when you turn fifty but there's a little app brian amongst the members often because you're no longer the cool side of why peo- or at least can be considered that way but i've had a great experience in goal and i hope you have as well so i i i have so as i kind of explained by younger friends. Listen you don't get to go to why. Why peo- gold until you made it and saw yeah. Fortunately i've done okay. I like that and we're gonna hear all about that. So mark i start every podcast with the same simple question and that is how did happen for you. Well you know. That's a great question. I have to say and i know that's the question you answered you ask every time but it's not. It's not really a an easy answer When i was a kid. So i'm going to give it a. When i was dead. I grew up with a father. Who is a serial entrepreneur. Both my grandfathers were entrepreneurs and backed one of them was wildcatter in west texas back in the fifties and i just. I grew up with all these stories of the dinner table and i thought man. That's you know. That's what i want to be when i get older my case. I really wanted to go into the foul. My grandfather into the oil business. And i were icy worked for an energy company while i was college But that was not a good time for the for the energy industry. Absol went on to law school and i thought well maybe i can. I was also thinking about going to wall street and being an investment banker in the crash of eighty. Seven happened so that didn't work out either. And i ended up I had some experience having worked for my father between college and law school and i was introduced to the reinsurance industry turns out. There were handful of law firms at the time In new york city that represented international reinsurance companies. Doing business in the us. And i went to work for one of them in new york right after right after law school. So i found myself in a very esoteric jerk place that i had no intention of being in. It was absolutely fascinated. And for those us i think i do but those of us listening. That don't know what reinsurance is mark. How would you see. So it's the it's the insurance of insurance and so that kinda lead me into understanding this whole world the insurance industry beyond you know what we think of. As as insurance like homeowners insurance or car insurance and fast forward my my first corporate job was taking taking an insurance company public which we then sold a few years later after m. manet i then started akilah as you said back in ninety eight and ironically one of the very first investments i made was in an insurance company but i was only thinking about it as an investor. I didn't realize that. I my colleagues on the board would convince me to come run the thing and even then i thought it would be a two or three year gig and i go back to being an investor and it ended up being a twenty year building project. So that's the that's the that's the how it happened. That's the beginning of the how it happens. Okay so i want to dig more into that. But i i wanna make sure i cover this reinsurance thing because at so you went to work for this reinsurance company as an attorney mark or ill winches. Sorry i was practicing law at a law firm in new york whose clients were were were primarily reinsurance companies from outside the us doing business in the us. Okay okay thank like like bank. Lloyd's of london. That's a great example. Right right right right okay. So companies that ensure insurance companies essentially or they take. Yeah and so you start as a lawyer. Which is what you went to school for did you. I know when we were talking before we started you. Sort of had this entrepreneurial. I dunno proclivity when you were a teenager and and But then you know you went. You had this influence from your father and your grandparents but then you you. You decided to go to law school. Did you want to become a lawyer. Is that what you were thinking or was it. Hey i'm gonna put off doing anything. I'm going to go to law school for a few years. And you know it's funny. No winter i went to law school because i thought it would help me in business and i i actually had interviewed with the number of investment banking firms when i was in my last year college and and they all said the same thing to me which is will wanna you want to skip the analyst program. Go go to law school and when you come out will hire you as an associate or vp. I was like well. That sounds great but then of course there were no jobs on wall street because the crash of eighty seven. Yeah and so. I was doing what i think. Most resourceful people do. same here's my swot. Analysis in my skills are got an undergraduate degree in finance. I've got a law degree. I i have some understanding the reinsurance business. And i want to go to new york. I want to practice law. Because the other thing i learned when i was in law school sadly is you don't really learn how to think like a lawyer and and have that you don't learn all that experience in law school or at least not when you go to what we used to refer to his theoretical law school and which i did and so i realized i was going to have to practice law for a few years if i really wanted to get the benefit in business so that was the bad news because that you've probably heard most lawyers work eighty hours a week. Well i still do so. I guess that didn't change but But i learned a lot in and i used. I use that knowledge every day in in my business affairs today so it was hard at the time that i'm sure glad i did it. And when you went to the reinsurance company then you weren't hired as an attorney general counsel or something you went for no no actually. I was hired as general. Okay all right and so that was great. Because i had a i had a ringside seat. Both in all the capital markets activity. We did by taking the company public and also all the ma activity. So when i joined the company. I think we had like twenty five million dollars in revenue and when we sold six years six or seven years later we had over two hundred fifty million dollars revenue and an almost all of that came from acquisitions. So is busy on and was that a one of these deals where you were working for the firm as a lawyer and they were like. Hey mark we kinda need a general counsel or was it did come about some other way no came about some other wage so remember that company our mission that i that i worked for between college law school so i got a i got a phone call for my dad's saying hey I i know you're enthralled with capital markets. I know you've been waiting for me to ipo. This thank you. Keep telling me. I should do it. I'm gonna do it. Come help me. And and so i started out in that role and seven years later. I was running one of our our. I guess. Three of our business units and so mirena just kept getting bigger at hunter. Forget i came in. I came into his office one day. I said hey. You've got the shirty. But this bonding businessperson. And you know you might wanna think about these things. Susan charged that. Because we'll give you're the one that's thinking about german charge now as the no no. That's not why. I'm ready goes. Well have a nice day come back in a week and tell me how it's going it look like you raised your hand for it. That's what i thought. I saw this. I was raising my ads. Okay so that's that. That's that's how we got governor and we built it up and sold it to a strategic buyer. A few years later and that i thought well. Gosh let's go back to being an entrepreneur but having having had that operational experience. I was thinking that i would. I would get more out of going back and taking a different view as an entrepreneur. In in this instance as an investor and what i was thinking was given by operational experience in my investing experience previously and also from buying all companies. I i was thinking that i should start a venture firm that was primarily based on early stage companies. Were i could bring both financial in intellectual capital to the table. And so think of it more more more colloquially club in As entrepreneurs helping entrepreneurs and so that's kind of how killick ackerman so you. This happens really fast. I mean you go to law school. You work a couple years in law firm. You go work for this reinsurance company. They go on a handful of years or so. I think you might have said seven decade now without a decade and near you are you've essentially built this thing up and you've participated in the exit in a meaningful way. But obviously if you're going to start a venture venture fund and i'm thinking to myself. What else was going through your mind at that point. Because you're you're you know you're young guy you're in new york city you've had tremendous success in a short period of time and you need a new adventure right so it was it. Was it right away. You're like okay. I'm going to do an adventure. Fund is the right thing to do or did you think well. Maybe i'll go be a wildcat or you know things have changed. And i don't know i'm just funny. I did think about that. But i i don't know there was something just threw me into two of the startup world and just kinda sucked me in. I was thinking that you know. I did take enough capital off the table that i could Think more as investor and less says employees or operator. And i just thought i what i observed was issued a lot of my friends now so again. This time we're kind of our early thirties. Who were starting their own businesses and they had great ideas but they weren't quite sure how to turn that idea a business or maybe they get a handful of customers right but they weren't quite sure how to get that next handful accuster in our thought. Okay will i. i think i by the way. Let's be clear here out here. I in twenty years later. And i'm doing the same thing today and i think i finally know enough to be helpful today so i was like every other young thirty. Something you roll back. Thought i knew at all or works. Not i knew enough but every it was tough sledding. Some days i'll tell you that. That's why i was wondering that's kind of behind. Why was asking the question. Because to have that kind of success at that age. And particularly. And i don't mean to you know i have some friends that in you know who who grew up as investment bankers in new york. There's just this sort of thing like hey we got this whole thing figured out bright so here you are at a point where you know you could be feeling like you have this whole thing figured out and then i think a lot of people who think they have it all figured out and have resources and stuff as a result maybe tend not to pull the trigger mark instead they just want to talk about it all the time but you instead immediately pulled the trigger. Well yeah so. Let me go back in time a little bit. I i think story you're alluding to earlier. I was telling you that. I was when i was a boy scout. We'd go camp out tonight by. Td at the drugstore and i'd seller to my friends in bring home twice as much money from the proceeds. As i went off with. I was the kid that had the paper round Worked at a scuba shop in high. School was a dive master diving on oil tankers in the houston ship channel When i was eighteen years old. And so i you know i was always. I was always working mainly. Because i had to. And also you know it's funny. My wife was actually reminding me this. Last night i was talking about my my father was with her. Is i'm thinking about some of the deals on looking at now and that guy was always working and and like he's i think he rubbed off on me. Because i just always going even during code. I was on an airplane down in march right. Well i got my first plane and went back to work in july looking for deals. And you know i. It's like once you it's it's a little it's a little infectious and sorry about the door doing on the hotel room. But it's a it's a little infectious. And i think once you have that mindset you just end that you just never goes what okay. Well thanks for clarifying that for me. Especially like the story of doubling your money on the candy. That's taking advantage of not. Quite as business savvy fellow boy scouts. That's great like that. I had a captive audience. And and i was the only supply yeah and willing buyers. So what can you do. Okay so you. So did you start to fund you. Know the akilah by yourself. Marker did you have. Did you go out and raise money. Or what did you do. Well you know So the answer is ahead. One co-founder in the beginning and e went back in fact his restaurant businesses. And i think i was mentioning. But one of the first investments. I made Was in an insurance company that today's called argo. And i got so involved with that so quickly that i actually never raised a fund and that that ended up consuming my lights before i could actually Finished the fundraise got it. So you've operator a lot. That i thought i venture investment became. Your community was the third. But you're so what so. That's interesting because i'm involved in a decent number of private equity and venture funds myself and i haven't found i don't i can't think of one experience where one of the general partners was like. Hey i love this business so much that we invested in gonna go run it day to day. They sort of. That's sort of actually not what they're built for their built for the financial engineering and they're built to support and that kind of thing but run day-to-day not unless they have to well so but remember. Go back to to what my what my what i was saying earlier. Which is my whole investment thesis behind. Starting it was entrepreneurs entrepreneurs okay and i guess i so i. I won't say that that i was i'll refer to myself visit active investor. And what i mean by that. It's after i. After the board invited me to join the board of directors given my given my background which we were talking about earlier i. I offered a lot of unsolicited advice of how we might want to change the strategic direction of the company and most of my colleagues on the board were literally in their eighties. And they they they were the guys who started telling aren't back in the sixties and they said okay smarty you know wanna you wanna you actually come take this idea that you have and turn it into reality income run defect and i i said okay. So it's a a as. I said i hadn't planned on it but actually the the playbook that we ran for the first few years was exactly what we've been talking about around the board table for a couple of years and and it worked now. We took a company that was really struggling both strategically and financially and and grew it pretty rapidly once we change the strategic direction of the company. The the first few years a lot of that that you won't be surprised to know a lot of change came from from making a series of acquisitions that allowed us to create a platform and then and then we were able to grow it organically After that but it was more than one reinvention of the company and of course we did have a few of those moments where we were trying to figure out how to make payroll. But may i think they. Every every entrepreneur goes through that at least once in their career right. I love how the board sort of turn the tables on you and then normally it's like. Hey put your put your money where your mouth is but in this case it was like hey mark. Put your mouth where your money is. Come in here if if you know what was what what was really cool as these guys. They started back when they were in their mid thirties. And so they're like well. Look if we could go bill that why can't you come. You know turn turn our company into something and we did so it was. I'll tell you what hindsight it was. I i can't tell you how rewarding it was to have those guys in trust me And the whole team to build the company. And how can you take us through. You mentioned the acquisitions and stuff but you know how do you how do you how. How did you take the company or help. Take the company from twenty five million in sales. Learn it losing money and twenty five million seems really small for that was that that that was the previous company. Oh yes. I'm sorry yes so just to give you some yardsticks so when i when i took over argo it was a little under three hundred billion in revenue. Okay are and when. I retired a year and a half ago. It was three and a half billion okay and turn it was mainly regional company in the us and we we transformed it into a global business with twenty offices around the world in in clients sixty plus countries and that was over approximately twenty year period. Give or take okay. So i'm gonna ask you this first. Because i i'll keep the business aside and i'll say mark what. What did you not know going into that. Because that's huge going into that. Huge three hundred million dollar company and then leading it to three and a half billion what. What did you not know that you ended up knowing as you went through the the the tenure there i guess the biggest the so will insurance companies have pretty big balance sheets and by the way when i took over the company and it just celebrated its fiftieth anniversary. And so i. I mean you know. That's a testament of time in an sales for the company but along the way it had it had ensured a whole lot of businesses that had collected a whole lot of all call layton exposure as specis environmental claims. You may recall that drama from the seventies in the case of environmental as best in the eighties. In fact at one time the company was the largest medical malpractice insurer in the seventies and that almost took the company down in the late seventies and and so just to summarize outside all these latent exposures were sitting on the balance sheet because the company had had been around so long and withstood the test of time but but that history connor caught up to it and while i had spent a lot of time diligence to balance sheet. It's really hard to understand the legal environment that you operated. That can change on a dime and in both at the federal level. The state level california. A a lotta. A lot of regulations change which meant the exposure on the balance sheet changed in a couple years in we found ourselves having to reset our loss reserves which meant the liability side balance. Sheet went up in the asset side. Stayed flat which means the equity side goes down to. So you've been you've been you've been insuring risks that nobody considered to be risks at the time that the policy was written and then later due to governmental changes regulatory changes or just people actually getting sick in from you know certain things changes the whole dynamic is that that's right or or medical innovation so you know people living people living longer because because there is so much more medical There's so much more help that can be provided for medical industry today or the health industry today so we reached. That aren't so the good news is that we were able to reset our loss reserves. But that meant we had to go raise more capital and and there was bowed as six week period where we were not quite sure where we were going to raise enough capital to keep going hence my comment about making payroll and that that i'll i'll have to say in hindsight that was that was probably a you know the biggest gut check of. Hey man can you really do this. And never forget one one friday as winter raining and unlike harry figure this out and ride up the elevator from lunch with one of our employees and he said you know what you know my wife that she told me i should get a new job and i said why is that and he said well she said you're gonna go out of business and i'm going to need to find another job And would you tell her. He said i told her. Figure it out and we didn't need to worry and you know at the time we had about eight hundred fifty employees trying to figure out how we're going to make payroll for eight hundred fifty employees. And then i realized it was. How am i going to put food on the table for eight hundred fifty families and so that was friday afternoon and by monday morning i had i had figured it out and spent the whole weekend meeting people that that Became investors in the company. One of them a strategic investor in the company and and which was great. And at the time we are plante are strapped. Our strategic plan was already working and so we started moving very quickly in the right direction and those investors who put their money in Back at that time did very well. They had over. I think at ten x return on investment in five years. And what was the story you were telling them. Mark was it. Hey you know we're we're this close with. You can see the the the tracks our strategy. I mean i'm just this is very. This is can be a very good lesson for people who are facing something similar for. You know that doesn't happen like you. Don't go to somebody go man. Our businesses doing like student crappy we might go out can't make payroll. Would you invest. it's not. That's i'll work. Yes so the good news is the strategic decisions that we made a couple of years earlier and one key acquisition. we made. We're already paying off okay. And so we were growing our top line by thirty percent and the bottom line for from the new business coming on you could see the prophets. Come in the. We just had to get over this hump of what had happened on in the past the we had account for on our balance sheet in present. So you could. You could see the growth of the company and where it was headed and literally we went from just under three hundred million dollars to almost billion five or six years later top line and and a lot of that just went straight to the bottom line and again you know that was from both acquisition organic growth. But a whole lot of it was from making some some very good acquisitions so the investors could see the numbers from from the acquisitions and by the way. That's not so easy to get right either and so there. There was a lot of execution risk. But you could just see the numbers that it was working and also we just kind of kept her head down and kept going. Did the did the fellow that was riding with you in the elevator. Ever come back and say hey mark. See i was right. I knew you could do it many times over. Nice all right. Okay so you get to you get twenty years in there and then i can't remember as the company sold or do you what happens. What happens when you when you end up leaving. I retired in the company. Kept on going okay. So you wanted to get back to entrepreneurs helping entrepreneurs or what was the motivation for for you where we will i- well that's a whole nother story for another podcast. But i i had. I had you know when you're planning to do something for a couple of years and you're planning to be an investor and you wake up twenty years later and you know we were talking about. Why peo- earlier this this this. This is actually what happened. I'm sitting in the back of classroom at harvard. Business school for a program they put on for. Ytl so is the whitefield president's program you probably heard of it and am singing the back and i'm like man. I know how to do that. Jan had do that and we play things. I was learning to but i just realized i'd been doing you know we had. Reinvented the company. Three or four times and that was all really exciting. But but the entrepreneurship was was giving way to. Can we be better process and you probably absurd that people who are very entrepreneurial or not so good at process out salad i found most of my time was being spent doing process tonight I gotta get out and move on. And and i've done my my time as an operator like to go back to being an entrepreneur and being an investor again so it's really a simple okay is really ask in the name akilah. Where does that come from. How did you land on that name. We'll quila means eagle right. To be honest. i was driving. I was driving down the road. And there's this resort ski resort up in colorado near our home in colorado. And i liked their logo and i was like well. That's cool so anyway it wasn't called akilah and of course i don't have their logo because they trademarked logo but i just. I don't know that idea just to me. Okay now konate yeah okay. So now you're out of your back as an investor entrepreneur. What's what what's your life like. Now what are you doing well. It's it's It's just as as sporadic as as it was before. I'm still working just as many hours as i was before. But now i'm spending all my time helping the ceo's that portfolio companies that. I've got well not all but you know there's usually there's usually two or three that that call and and it's different two or three each time that need a little help thinking reuther strategy and and were they wanna go next door can make a phone call for a client. They've got were or or help with the next round of fundraising there's always something going on. And but what's really fun is. Is you know for every company building business building business. It really this matter what industry grin and and so helping people who've done it for the first time is really is rewarding financially and professionally assets. Also you know a really nice giveback tip to younger mainly younger people who were doing it for the first time in so all those things that i thought i could do. Twenty years ago. I really can do today. And it's been. It's been really rewarding in ed. Some of my wife earlier and she said you know i can tell you having fun on us. Why is that she gives. Because it's ten o'clock at night in your stolen the phone talking to people. I'm like yes sorry. I guess i'm back to the same thing again. But it's in a when you when you love what you're doing it's fun it sure is. It's definitely beats the alternative mark. Doesn't it well. you know it's funny. You say that because one of one of my mentors was actually one of the original investors in in teledyne and then and then oregon and and he's still in. He's in his mid nineties today. He still goes to work every day. And every time he and i you know get together which is two or three times year so now going on twenty five years. He asked me if i'm going to retire and i said melanie's like that's good because my friends who retired they're not doing very well and look at me. I'm still doing okay. And i think you ought to think about it and i look around my friends. Who are in their in their seventies and eighties Who were still working. Which means there's still mentoring me. And and they're having just as much fun today intellectually as they were when i met them twenty or thirty years ago and so it's it's just a reminder that there's always something new to do and and it's i mean if you find that right reason to get up in the morning and go hit you know it's that's what matters right Vaguely could just as easily be a hobby. Doesn't have to be building business. That just happens to be my hobby. Sure yeah and it's so. I'm it's interesting. You say that. Because i always think of myself as someone who is not going to retire because i feel like there's always some new. There's always going to be some new challenge in front of me. That's that i'm curious about that. I wanna pursue whether it leads to money or not is sort of a second second thing for me but but it's also but retirement is something that you know. There's a lot of inertia towards there's a whole industry you know. Sort of sort of makes makes whole whole industry and insurance industry. Actually that makes you know. Retirement seem like the holy grail. Just get there the great. And i'm sure for some people that's exactly the way it turns out and then i feel like there's a lot of other people who get there and they're like this is it. This is what you know. I've been saving for. This is what i've been putting off other stuff in my life or to get here and then it's like wow and then and then they become a volunteer grier at walmart. Yeah where they or they lose purpose. You know they lose purpose like you said. Your mentor said about some of his friends. You know when you don't have a future to look forward to you you know you're stuck say in the past and it's it's interesting but right you know but right now is such an interesting time in the history of business because technology is so available and so inexpensive to so many different businesses. There are things that and by the way as another reason that i wanted to kind of move on from argo is. Is you know companies in iran. A long-time have a lot of legacy systems as well as those liabilities that we talked about on the balance. Sheet and technology is changing so quickly. Today that it's allowing for new business models in everyone talks about disruption i. I don't want to say that. Everything i look at has to be disruptive but the world is changing so rapidly today. There's so many new business models today that are changing industry after industry. I really wanted. I wanted to be a part of it. And and i am and it's really exciting because the world and of course look at what is done to to business models over the last year moment. If you didn't have digital a year ago you probably went out of business or you really struggled. And look at how. Many companies pivoted to to create their Their digital business model as quickly as you could it. Look i'd say yours. Here's two two two different companies to think about as examples. So nike had already started their online store that it wasn't the majority of their revenue and almost all of their business flipped to their online store. Sorry when i say. Almost i mean i believe in majority of their business flip to their online store and in in less than a year. Adidas didn't really have that that direct to consumer online presence and so they really struggle for as ninety nike or under warmer to. They both kind of struggle. Where nike just took off now. Both of those companies have pivoted now have digital strategies. But but you know. Think about think about the insurance business just as an example or pick any financial services company. It's mainly you know data in people and so with so much technology available today. It's so much easier to deliver create new products. Deliver them In a much more robust cheaper fashion digitally cannot so. I wanna ask you a couple of questions about insurance and then i wanna get into a little bit about future like what you're excited about from technology standpoint but on on the insurance side how do you see. Maybe this is sort of a futuristic question too but how do you see self driving cars. Impacting you know a a huge part of the insurance market. Which is you know Insuring drivers And then how do you see. How do you see. I models like lemon and some of the lemon in some of the others that are thinner de l. shorty slip on jerry. There's sort of trying to. They're working on democratizing. The insurance watson two questions. They're both related to the future of regular insurance and they may not be yes. Let's let's take him in resort in reverse order. Yeah so one of the you know. We're talking about differences in models with technology and actually women aid is both a good and not so good example of that. It's a good example in that. The founders lemonade recognized that the user experience were consumer insurance or frankly all insurance for that matter is not very good and so figured out a way to create a much better front end user experience for their customer base. which until recently was Was you know young people first time. First time renter's of apartments in providing renter's insurance so pulmonary for people who are renting right and and the user experiences really good but the product drexel by is actually just a commodity. It's the same insurance product that every other insurance companies is selling their just do a better job of selling it with the user experience and narrow as they expand their product offering. Try and and get into a homeowner's insurance and to car insurance. You know there that that's a little bit more complex. It's one thing to say. Hey send me a picture of whatever was in your apartment is not there to your home burns down and or you get in this massive car accident so how you the claim handling process which again is user. Experience is going to be a lot is going to be vastly different than than than the than the shortage. So i think there's a lot a lot to be armed and i'm sure to learn it but to kinda segue into into car insurance From self-driving cars. You're you're right. There's but first let me say people have been talking about self driving cars for a decade and we still don't have them in the the release day for win self. Driving cars will will really be on. The road keeps getting pushed back. But i think it's inevitable and of course as you pointed out a minute ago mike when you buy car insurance today. You're insuring yourself. The driver resona self driving car. The the the policy holder is probably the the car manufacturer. So you're going from a liability a personal ability policy to a product liability policies and you also quite correctly touched on on because you know walk. Do we have car insurance well mainly because we have car accidents not because theft or or or or other ancillary planes mainly because we have accidents. So what happens when a self driving car runs into another car. Who's in how are you gonna figure out who's a fault and what happens there or or here's the really used a really tough one right now. Which people really trying to think through ethically nat is so self driving cars coming down the road and it sees a child jump out in the road. If it's words to miss the child in the road it's going to hit a non coming car in. Kill the people in the self driving car and the people in the car collides into so from a societal perspective. Would it be better off to just go straight and drive over the child until the child versus. Had the glazier until the peoples in the two cars right now. Maybe that's not what you meant by. But that's a these are real user real ethical and moral issues that have to be sorted out for self driving cars get on growth. Interestingly though that's no different than say. I'm just using the same thing and saying but putting me behind the wheel and saying i'm driving. I still have the exact same dilemma when it comes to that situation right right but what happens to you. It happens at that moment in its impulsive. What i'm talking about is premeditated it's in the code of the car and the car gets delivered to the to the consumer is consumer can't choose right. The product manufactured -chusetts could better brakes. That's how you solve that. We're not going to solve it today. But quantum breaking five. There's real issues to be sorted out but by the way i'm looking forward to the day when i if i'm just gonna go get on the freeway. That car can do the driving. And i can do something else and had. Have you seen those cars speaking about technological innovation. Have you seen those cars that have the conference table in the middle in the seats. Face each other in there is no steering. I have yes. They're they're very cool. They're very cool. It would be tremendous to not have to worry about driving. Even though i actually liked driving but to me it'd be tremendous to be able to get in car and just do whatever i want and show up safely ready to go wherever i'm supposed to go. Look i'm like you. I when i'm in work mode i'd prefer that but if i'm out in the texas hill country on the weekend okay. Yeah i wanna go drive. And that's actually going to be very interesting is even even when self driving cars come along. You know in a much bigger way. You still going to have this convert this. This sort of intersection of people driven cars. Self-driving cars it's not going to be like one day everybody puts their keys away and never drives again and so you've got that component to anyway whole another story. I don't want to get into that. But i do. Wanna get into what. You're most excited about you. Know from technology abled like from an investment entrepreneurial standpoint right now so we talk we we. We talked about senator hundred minute ago but one of the other things that i'm really opens dawn that you're seeing change in the economy Are these these massive platforms that are being created the have winner-take-all economics and their resulting in market caps. Ten thirty billion dollars. And so i've been. I've been really focused on on finding companies that i think have other saved attention because it's really hard law but had the potential to become a platform. And there's there's one company in the akilah that that i think is well on its way to to becoming a platform in it in achieving Some of those platform economics. It's not in the it's not in the in the insurance industry It's actually in the hospitality industry. But it's it's a software company that's more of itself into a multi sided platform and do you Your portfolio companies on your website. Or do you keep the those private for how they're on. They're on the the not all of them. Most of them are are are on the akilah capital website and an that websites akilah. Abc dotcom akilah vc dot com. Okay so i guess. I wanted to ask you a couple of other things before we add mark one. Is this personal brand that you seem to be developing so you've got your own website now. It's not you're not doing everything through kilo and that always fascinates me. I have my own website as well. But i i did it for my podcast and stuff and i kind of didn't put much more thought into it but are you intentionally. You know looking to build awareness of the mark e watson brand and if so what's what led you down that path so the two websites were very intentional but not not for brand building purposes. I for my personal website. I wanted to focus that more on leadership and helping business leaders build their toolbox and so over time you know this is still a work in progress and but over time i wanted to take all mine. How or lessons learned or not learned and and put him out there. You know in kind of the the toolbox For people to to use kind of what a reference manual so books that have helped me along the way Other key people that have great skills that they can access i wanted. I learned it kind of more of a reference place for business leaders and a place to to think about leadership into the keel. Website is just just Purely investing okay. Okay god and since you mentioned it Books you know what are one or two of your favorite most impactful books that you recommend to people. John doors book. That came out a couple of years ago on. Okay are Brad smart trilogy of books on top grading so that's you know. His branded selection Any book from wrong sean. Todd full disclosure. He's been advised to me for twenty years. But you know he wrote He wrote a book. larry bossidy called execution. That's pretty helpful book to anybody but he also wrote a very small little book about how to build a profitable company. And i mean it's it's like a two hour read but it's one of those books that he ought to go back and read every year just to remind yourself of what it really takes to make money and he begins his story by talking about you know how how how his family made money with the fruit stand that they had or the vegetables stay in. They had in india and of course he left india and went on to become very successful as boat student of harvard. Business school faculty member of harvard. Business school and adviser to jack welsh among others. And what is that little book called. You remember the title. I think it's called a resume times. You think remember the name but it's it's called pro. I think it's called sustainable profitable growth but okay okay. So i was reading this article that you the featured you leaders magazine which by the way. I was not familiar with leaders magazine. When i saw that. I thought to myself okay. This is that wipe real leaders magazine but it's different but anyway y- they asked you this question and i was just fascinated by your answer so this is the question they ask you during this difficult and uncertain time. I think this was late. Twenty twenty maybe. What would you say the young people across the country who are deeply concerned and about the future and you said a lot. Basically you said stay. Stay off the sidelines. Realize that you can create structural change in any space. Put down your signs and your phone that really got my attention because those will not lead to sustainable. Structurally to a sustainable. Structurally changed future. That you want can't hashtag your way to the future dollars. Brilliant too so tell me more well. I think that. I mean that's the answer right. And it's also in the context of what we've been talking about for the last few minutes. Which is the world is changing rapidly around us and and it's becoming more and more digital which means is becoming more lord democratic in it's becoming more. It's it's much easier to get involved today that it's ever been and so much more. The economy is going to be cured. Appear you don't have to go join some large gigantic company you can go hang out your shingle Minute ago you asked me if i was trying to build my own brand because that's become a very popular thing to do. Because peer to peer a business is becoming so pervasive in the economy and i think it will become more so and you've got enabling platforms to do that right amazon and facebook. You know funny but people think facebook is this big bag company into the senate Encroaching upon our private lives. I think that's true but look at the marketing the marketing ability of small business owners to actually target their customers today much much more effectively than they could with. All those mailer things show up on your host office At home and so there's this every part of the economy is being turned upside down and it's an invitation for young people that have got great ideas and energy and passion to just show up and go do it. And that's what. I was getting at in the article. I i feel more strongly about it today than i did that. Just show up and go do it. I like that. That's a great place for us to end mark. That's that's fantastic. This has been so much fun getting to know you and and learning about your experiences and sharing them. I i guess. I'll ask you at the end. Is there anything else you wanna add. Put out there how to get a hold of you or what you want people to do or whatever besides what we've already done with your various websites such well. I i think i think you ended up. You ended on on a great spot if people do wanna to If people do want to connect with me peer to peer probably the easiest way is to send me a message on link if you just go go search mark marquee watson and akilah than. It'll it'll take you to my my lincoln page and that's probably the best place to connect with me. Okay that's how i connected with you. This i sent you a lincoln invite. So i'm i'm looking forward to being part of your network and mark. This has been so great to have you on. Thanks so much for doing this. Yes a pleasure. Thanks for the. Thanks for listening to this episode of how it happened. Podcast where we believe. That success doesn't happen unless you make it happen. You can subscribe to the podcast on apple. Podcast google podcasts. Stitcher or wherever you like to listen and while you're there please rate it and leave a comment as well. I'd love to hear your thoughts about the show ideas for future guests for whatever you'd like to share and of course you can always find me at mike. Mala tested dot com. See you next time. Thanks again for listening to the how that happened podcasts.

akilah mike testa marquee watson mark e watson Absol new york killick ackerman mike new york city us mark west texas konate reuther Lloyd