17 Burst results for "jolanta"

"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

By The Book

03:53 min | 2 months ago

"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

"What stuck for you jolanta. How what stuck as minor twitter follower. That's literally i wrote my new fucking twitter a what about new revelations I think so much about how much actual advice is in this essentially like joke book like book like it is a book. That definitely knows. It's being silly. Like it is formatted like a tabloid magazine. But there is so much actual actionable advice in maybe bizarre but at some of the most concrete and like plentiful advice we've seen in a book. Yeah it's not just like think about this imagine that It's like try this try that here's the next chapter. Try this other thing it's like. Yeah actionable shit over y'all again exactly and what was pure torture. Jolanta i mean pure. Torture has been every book since this book because all the other books have way less pictures and away less gossip rag format. How about you. What has stuck well. I'm still famous. No not really. But you still get the occasional call from you. Know like good morning britain and other outlets asking if i wanna come on so that was just the other day you and i were in a taping and i got interrupted by a call from the uk asking me to be on our show so that stuck around. Yeah she's like one of our pre-eminent anti-racists royal scholars. But i think you thank you Let's see new revelations. I was thinking after reading this book. More help books should have a sense of humor. This one was so self effacing. I know people look at it on a surface level and oh these two are so full of themselves. They're terrible but i think spencer on haiti are actually in on the joke..

jolanta twitter Jolanta britain uk spencer haiti
"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

By The Book

05:31 min | 2 months ago

"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

"So maybe listen on headphones if you're at work or around small children now here's a show. Hey kristen yeah jolanta. We have reached the end of our eighth season of by the book. And do you know what that means. Oh my gosh. It means that we are podcasting. Superheroes I think it probably also means like we're in common law podcasting marriage and it also means it's time for another by the book. Season wrapup owns our pain. That's right it's time for our by the book season. Eight wrap up. This is the first of our current crop of bonus episodes.

jolanta kristen
"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

By The Book

06:01 min | 2 months ago

"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

"All right jolanta. It is time to get down to business. That's it's business time it is. Did i have chosen to stay and fight actually work. would we recommend it jolanta. Ugo i okay. I feel like both this book and myself were a bit all over the place. These two weeks. I loved book. Because i love margaret show. I'm super biased. However this book stress me the fuck out it did but it stressed me out because it was like a time machine. Kristen took me back to you. Know the era of like bush and cheney and like what. I was going through then..

jolanta margaret Kristen cheney bush
"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

By The Book

07:28 min | 3 months ago

"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

"It's true it's true. It is a hard place to be. Sometimes but i can totally understand that also rachel words like ono is my credit card of go down the toilet. Am i going to end up twice as spar in debt because all of the interest payments on my credit cards. It's really scary. We can get destroyed so easily financially and sometimes even if the rescue ladders coming from someone terrible it can be like. Maybe i'll climb that ladder for a little while but i'm glad it only lasted a year. I will say that. I know a year can feel like forever but it's way better than like twenty years. Yeah for sure for sure. Nikki says i always wanted to be independent. But that's not quite how it worked out. I'm currently a stay at home. Mom caring for sick kids as well as a student training for a new career. My partner occasionally takes days off with the kids but he owns a business. Which makes it hard to do this often. While i value the care and work involved in keeping my family healthy and safe it was never something i saw myself doing. It's definitely spurred some depression and relationship issues. That being said my partner doesn't see it that way and views are setup as us both contributing equally. So that's at least reassuring nikki. I'm going to back up your husband here. You are contributing equally hearing for sick kids. That sounds like a lot of work just as hard as running a business absolutely especially when you're also a student. I mean you're going to school. You're a homemaker plus you're taking care hun of work. That's like three different jobs at once. That's way more than a full-time job. Yeah that's not just you being taken care of it. You're also taking care of everybody else at the same time. And i think i feel like i get like nikki where i'm like. This isn't what i thought i'd be doing thus like i'm disappointing myself. And you know everyone. Brad is always reminded me that like relationships ebb and flow. There have been times. Where i have supported. Both of us and brad was in a deep depression because he got like suddenly fired. There have been times where like we rely on them. Come there have been times where. I like pickup nannying again to like. Yeah add another income like you know. We always take turns focusing on education or having to table. Work to focus on family and like ideally. It doesn't stay in that situation forever and everyone takes turns. Yes totally agree. One hundred percent now crystal has a different take crystal says immediately after getting engaged i quit a toxic work environment with my fiance support ben. The day after. I married my husband. He paid my tuition to finish college. Something i had been wanting to do for over ten years but could not afford to do. And i moved in with his dad who lives close to campus. The bottom line is that. If i did not trust him i would not have married him and he cared that i cared about finishing my degree. It worked really well for me. And i managed to shut out the little voice that told me. It didn't count. If i wasn't doing it on my own because it did freaking count. I have the degree to prove it. And like why not take support and help when and where you can like. Why not you know be able to be like. I'm lucky for having support as opposed to like i'm a schutte burden or like it doesn't count as much because like the people who love me like have resources that they can give me like It counts and like you're lucky and like that's great. Yeah i also think crystal makes a really good point here which is that. She trusted her husband and if she hadn't trusted him she wouldn't have married him or accepted as help. I think the problem is oftentimes. There are people that may be Proved to be untrustworthy. Who then hold financial power over us. Unfortunately something you talk about in an upcoming episode of the show. I don't wanna ruin. It bows wheelers just because you listen to a draft president babies boy. Lee's i'm fine with it. I love a good teaser. Sorry later this season on that. Now let's take a quick break when we come back. We will talk about some of the ways. Your body's mortified you. And of course we will announce next week's book by the book. Listeners are some of the most inventive people in the world. All of you out there doing crafts. You're writing books. You're running your own business. You just have cool ideas left and right and we know that so many of you want to turn those cool ideas into a new website and you can with squarespace join tonight you squarespace for jolanta greenberg dot com for kristen minds dot com for by the book dot com. If it weren't for squarespace would not have these beautiful professional easy to use websites. Their templates are what make it all possible with drag and drop tools. That even somebody like me can handle. All websites are optimized for mobile. So your site looks. Great on any device and every squarespace website and online store comes with a suite of integrated features and useful guides that helped maximize prominence among search results. These seo tools are paramount. And you can get to know your audience with their analytics tools. I'm talking everything from insights on page views. Traffic sources time on the site audience geography and more had to squarespace dot com slash by the book for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch us the offer code by the book to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain that squarespace dot com slash by the book with code by the book for ten percent off your first purchase jolanta. We are back talking about how to be a bad bitch by amber rose and now one thing that stood out to all of you out there about the bug was that amber says we should accept the fact that our bodies do mortifying things and that includes bodies during sex. We asked you on facebook. Do you ever feel embarrassed or mortified by your own body with regard to sex or anything else and all boy lots and lots of answers to give. We're going to read a few of them right now. Meredith says all the time. I'm embarrassed by my body. I have hyper hydro. This overactive sweat glands. In my hands and feet. I sweat so much and all the time. It's so embarrassing and gross. I can't wear flip flops or most sandals because my feet sweat and sliding them handshakes and high fives are so stressful and awkward. It's made me really hate physical touch and mo- social interactions marinate deal. You turns out. That's one of my lupus symptoms. Sometimes so i know the struggle of like trying to run around like gripping my own shoes with my toes being pleased i just running late and can't slide out of my shoe right not to mention the struggle of finding a gogo matt. I recommend ones that have a core covering. Oh that's a good suggestion. These are solid takeaways. Right here on by the book I've.

nikki depression ono Nikki rachel jolanta greenberg kristen minds Brad brad crystal ben jolanta Lee amber rose amber Meredith facebook
"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

By The Book

03:16 min | 3 months ago

"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

"You please explain jolanta. i would say Mainly my my initial thought is because the book doesn't give that many resources as to where she got the information and i'm fine with someone like collecting information and presenting it to me but i wanna know like the source material and i you know in reading like medical research and talking to my doctors have found a lot of her advice does work for me but i would say the way she lays it out as often just like book camels right leg my friend. Who's a doctor says. Like avoid the ones you can and like. That's it's very vague. And you know. I know we give a hard time to people who over right their books with like too much supporting evidence but this one had not enough for me and i would say that is why when you're talking about ingredients chemicals. It helps to get like a hint more specific for me to trust you so even though she was saying the same things. Your doctors have told you you trust your doctors because you know that they've done their research And i know like if i can say why they can be like well if you see in these like studies that like really interest like this thing keeps coming up more and more. We're just gal by like when the book lake once she goes into a why. It's more just like i heard this. They're like my research did that. And it's like i need a hint more than my research. Especially because you're coming to me from a non research background and as someone who went to the same school as this pretty actress. I can saying i know. Her background is not in chemical research. And you know i guess. I'm not giving her any harder. Time than i would give myself so or someone i went to acting school with and i would be like. Where can i have a few more sources. Maybe i'm being bech. i dunno. I don't think you're being a badge..

jolanta
"jolanta" Discussed on Deadset Podcasting

Deadset Podcasting

03:14 min | 1 year ago

"jolanta" Discussed on Deadset Podcasting

"We just went on the self development little data with sir? Speaking books, Kristen has another book in the works that might be relates directly to the podcast or to a podcast. So can we maybe just finish up token about that? Yeah it just came out during the pandemic. It's called how to be fine. What we learned from living by the rules of fifty self help books and Jolanta Greenberg my co-host for by the book she and I wrote the book together and we broke it up into three sections. What actually worked what didn't work and what we wish more self help books would actually talk about and the book is for fans of the show, but it's also for people who are just curious about self help and if it's not already clear, I will say this I am definitely a self-help skeptic Jolanta loves self-help. So we come at it from two completely different angles. So the things that she Says may contradict what I say and vice versa but they also are more than anything personal essays about how we live how we've been affected by things and some of what we talk about we've discussed on the show what we talk about has never been discussed on the show. So even people who listened to the show will get something new out of it and people who've never listened to the show. We hope we'll stole enjoy it, and maybe learn a little bit about themselves. Learn about the self help industry THE SELF-HELP INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX AS I call it and maybe even walk away with a few tools of like, Oh this would actually make my life a little bit better. Excellent. It sounds like an amazing book and I love the bottle and was part of your podcasting genius. Kristen just finish up was just you're intentionally picking car heist with beautiful names like. Just has this incredible name that saw memorable that unique I think he might have that modern intentional yet. Oh. Yes. I will only co host with people with great name..

Kristen Jolanta Greenberg
"jolanta" Discussed on Let's Get Civical

Let's Get Civical

04:37 min | 2 years ago

"jolanta" Discussed on Let's Get Civical

"Podcasts. Hey, everybody. Welcome bill. Let's get civil. This is the podcast that breaks down politics government structure in dives into the context of current events. But in a super fun way, I'm Lizzy Stewart, comedian feminist and political junkie, and I'm Arden Wallin tasty. Former Senate intern campaign staffer and political strategists in this episode we're going to be tackling the history of political parties, so jumping your time machine. And go back with us. Let's get cynical. Our guest today is Jolanta Greenberg. She's a comedian lovely human, great friend podcast Stor. She's auditing supportive person. She is all things beautiful is out that you can't see. But like really awesome glasses out. Thank you. So. Yeah. So we're going to talk about the history of political parties. Are you ready? Are you ready for this? I need to know so much about it. Okay. I just I just was at the DMV, and I registered to vote in New York finally been absentee for the past decade for Oregon. Yep. It was a mail in ballot. Anyway, they're all manly super easy to just the absentee and. Yeah. Yeah. No Sunday here. And they're like, all right. So I just did that until my driver's license was like you need a new one of me. But I just registered to vote, and I was looking at all the parties, and they're like there's so many the women's women's quality party. I was like shit. I didn't even know about that. Like should. I check it. Like, I don't even what am I doing? I need to know everything. Okay. Great. We're going back in like seventeen ninety two right? Way back and actually sheen political party. Yep. Back in the day set us up where are we? Historian residents or were in seventeen ninety two. And clearly, none of us are at the table. Where are on home wrong wearing like five layers of skirts, and it is always damp at the bottom? With like, yes. Eight children poli, Pat or Brown at UT is that we know where thing we know burned all wave. That was the norm that was normal yesterday named George George Martha with a junior, the only thing I think of when I think of colonial is Virginia. And I just want to apologize to the other states. That were also there the other twelve could not Virginia where more than for chin. There's that's Sochi. They try dates, right? And just like wanna be Virginia's in my opinion yet. So we're starting their seventeen ninety two to eighteen twenty four. Okay. So you've got the federalists. Yes. And the anti federalists it's very what I love about them. Is that it's actually it's very simple. Okay. Tell the health that issue between basically, we're after it were post revolutionary war. Right yet happened in the cool. It sign we won. So we like I've dumped in we'd done this podium. I guess you gave me the date which I know is passed the revolution. Yes. That's of course, you do. Right at the top of my new that there are more states of than Virginia present at the moment. Basically like we have to figure out how to govern each other. So they decided to paraphrase, but they form a government, basically. I'm basically, they wrote the constitution until you have the major players of the federalists who are Alexander Hamilton, John Addison, kind of drew Washington who want a strong national government. They want to ratify the constitution. They wanna create a Bank. They basically want to create like a presence of government, you know, bold government. And then you have the people who are like, no, we don't we don't want your insane rebel literally just got away from England. We don't want a government. We I mean, we want government. But we want them to be like a distant uncle right with government. We don't want and we can choose. Yeah. No women telling me what the Bouch it, exactly. And we don't want it like under a new name..

Virginia Jolanta Greenberg Lizzy Stewart Arden Wallin intern Senate Sochi George George Martha DMV Oregon England New York Pat Alexander Hamilton UT John Addison Washington
"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

By The Book

04:17 min | 2 years ago

"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

"Take their phones hit the subscribe button and be like good. You'll never lose the show. It staying ranked here. Yes. But but in addition to just following us where you've always followed us, please. Also subscribe to our. Newsletter that we're launching. We've only put out one newsletter announcement so far, but you can subscribe just by writing mailing list in the subject line and emailing us at Kristen and Joel into at gmaiLcom because we'll have even more details and updates for you via a newsletter very soon. All right now that that business is out of the way, we do also have some bitter sweet news, the sad business. As of now Cameron, well, not becoming with us. Yes. This is incredibly Harvard. So hard for me to say, I like can't look cameras. Let's just we love Cameron so much. And if we could we would carry Cameron around with us in a backpack. Wherever we go for the rest of our lives. Cameron has just been the best. He has been with us in the early development phases of the show. He's been with us every step of the way he's coming before. We even knew the show was a show. Yes. But one of the good things about that is then since we were all friends before the show. It's not like Cameron is actually leaving our lives Cameron. You're stuck with us. Whether you like it or not you're going to still be friends with us on what what size of bed you have whether or not you have a bed frame all of those things forever. Yes. So whether you like it or not you're stuck with us. But Cameron you. You are very well. Situated at slate right now. And he's got a he's got a whole life ahead of him. Yes. He's got her three. He's got it made right now. And he's making amazing beautiful things. He's making you must remember this crying out loud. He's learning late. He's a producer extraordinaire, he's producing you must. Remember, this you he's producing everything. Yeah. He's producing the whole world. If he's got a beautiful future ahead of him. And he's never getting rid of us. No. You can't get rid of us Kim. We're going to follow you everywhere. Look over your shoulder because we'll be there. We'll be there. And we'll be asking about your dating life. And if you ate breakfast. Yes, look out your window will be on the street there. That maybe harassed. At a restaurant. We'll be there everywhere you go. Go to sleep that little scratching under your bed. That's us. We're there. You know, what else is under your bed? Cameron. Maybe a copy of the next book. We're going to be living though. Good pivot. Let's move away from the sad. Let's get away from all this sad stuff. Let's talk about our next book. Yeah. Yeah. Let's make the announcement. Everyone wants to hear it. Everyone wants. Note. So yes, bump buttered on the book is pick three by Randy sucker Berg. What if I want to pick for what if I wanna pick zero? What have made name is Mark Zuckerberg? And I don't wanna listen to my older sister, Bosnia round, listen next week to find out huge. Thank you as always for amazing producer Cameron Druze who we have cherished working with the past three and a half seasons. And we know it's not goodbye. It's just a see you in a different context. Forever under your bed. Yeah. Under your bed. With books reminder. You can reach out to us at anytime at Kristen and at g mail dot com or tweet us at Jolanta G at Kristen minds, and at by the book pod until next time on Kristen minds are and I'm Jay Greenberg. But my thanks for listening. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Cameron. Sorry. That's to sad. I try to lighten the mood with humor because I'm uncomfortable. Screwball Cameron's going to get comfortable life because we are not going anywhere.

Screwball Cameron Cameron Druze Kristen producer gmaiLcom Bosnia Mark Zuckerberg Randy sucker Berg Kim Joel Jay Greenberg Jolanta G
"jolanta" Discussed on You're Welcome! With Chael Sonnen

You're Welcome! With Chael Sonnen

02:27 min | 3 years ago

"jolanta" Discussed on You're Welcome! With Chael Sonnen

"This is a very tough spot and happened to Joon not champion against the bullet. I asked you guys a week ago. I told you heavy these ladies fought three times in kickboxing, the the bullet eater all three times. I'm just curious because I genuinely did not know why who was the promoter. What promoter kept making the same girls fight. And they went all the way to a third fight when the outcome of the previous two had not chafed that just generally doesn't happen. If I asked you guys for the answer, you guys let me know for those of you that don't know the answer was real simple. It was a tournament. They kept me up in tournaments Jolanta kept entering the mullet. Kept entering they kept beating the previous competition. Boot there's your gold medal match. They cut meeting up that was the answer that but Joanna goes out there and she fights her eye, and she just looked fantastic Juwan is such a good competitor. She is just such a very skilled fighter. Very good competitor. She wants to win. I think there's something very neat about that. She also respected the bullet. And I don't know that she has ever respected another opponent. I think that that hurts a little bit. That was my perspective. She's the one that would happen share. But she also took a big risk walking in there. A four time against a young lady would beat ner not just wants not just twice, but three times there was a lot of courage there. And I don't think that story ever got told I think because of some Joon 'as antics, if you will in the past that people were just happy to see her lose perhaps. But I think you guys would join join me in admitting that it was a very courageous move. It was a very valiant effort and for the four five much like the third second better fighter one in it. Just simply wasn't her. But she's in a very tough spot right now. I don't know. It's is it. Okay. By personalized this guy's without something to wear again. I don't know anybody could really tell you what it's like the in that spot better than me. Better than tell you this little Pat on my back, but I'm really just trying to I'm really trying to share for you for any. But following my car, I was in the same spot. I was the second best fighter in the world for meaningful period of time any way, you wanna do it anybody. You wanna give me I'll beat them all except one guy in any way. You wanna do it in any mount of times you wanna give skimpy that guy? So what do I do? This is where you'll want that. So guess what? She did he switch classes made it all the way back to the finals all the way back to the gold medal match in any which way you wanna do it. Apparently, no matter how many times you want to..

Joon gold medal Joanna kickboxing Jolanta ner Juwan
"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

By The Book

04:37 min | 3 years ago

"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

"Are you professional man alive? Professional meant. No, you're like. He identifies the continuing mom dynamic that three. Professional man professional man, he dresses look at him. Looks very smart in his t shirt today. Job does. Yes. Cameron Sarah has this question when I was an older teen. I pictured myself growing up to be like you living in a major city and child free when you were seventeen where did you think you'd be now, certainly not podcasting. You probably couldn't have predicted that right? Certainly not podcasting. You are correct. Sarah. I never would have guessed that when I was seventeen. I probably did imagine myself living in a big city. Probably not a city the size of New York. I grew up in Boise, Idaho, which is a city, but very little city. So I imagine myself probably being somewhere close by in Portland or Seattle or San Francisco, and I probably pictured myself like playing in a band or something that's something. I did in high school and just like wanted to do that. Yeah. It was it was sort of like have you heard like at the drive in? It was sort of like post punk punks. Like a lot of yelling. Angry. I was mad. You know, George Bush made it man, right? Everyone had to find punk pop differently. I I consider Hunga pop on. Oh, I wouldn't. I would sit her. Grun like, yeah. I don't know interesting. All right. This leads into another question from another, Sarah. How did you get into podcasting? I got into podcasting. The way a lot of people do the way. Kristen Gillette did also through public radio when I was in Seattle. I got an internship at K U O W, which is the member station there. I had graduated with an English degree in. So I didn't know what to do with it. And I got a job at a French bakery afterwards. And I just listened to the radio all day while I was like making stuff at the French bakery. And after a while I was like I'm gonna play for an internship at the radio station that I listen to all day. And so that's how I started working there. And then from K O W, I got put in touch with people at WNYC, and that's what I met Kristin. And Joe Lynch. Very when you moved to New York. Yeah. Yeah. I moved to New York because that particular news program offered me ten days of work. And then we would see how go. You from Idaho. And then I've worked there for fourteen months. And then yeah, you weren't there for a good amount of time. Yeah. All right. Let's move onto this question from Eliza Cameron. Do you have a favorite episode that you've edited of by the book and who goes off track more easily Jolanta or Kristen? Well, Jill Linda goes. Yeah. More easily. I feel like Kristen is happy to go with me. Most of the. Yeah. Yes. I want to get on that toboggan and all the way. The one starting at ADHD, but it's not a bad thing. I mean, the episodes of by the book are scripted. But also there's a lot of room for improv. So it's not like the end of the world when someone goes off track it, sometimes really good. Because also you guys haven't talked to each other yet about the book's really. So like, you gotta let the magic happen. We'll fix it later, if it's total nonsense camera Jolanta like why did you do that? Let's get back in the studio and redo this. Did you notice though, it gets wackier and looser by the end of the season? The beginning of the season star minds living by eight books. And like not being able to think for us. So I cannot imagine Cameron. How hard it is to at at the last episode of the season versus the first the first we're just like, let's be all business too bad. We're portion of the author bio and you worked on the rules, and we have this all in place, and then by the end, it's leg. Oh, we have to write this grant during the right? Has there been a favorite episode to edit or favorite episode of the show?.

Cameron Sarah Kristen Gillette New York Eliza Cameron Idaho Jolanta Seattle Kristin George Bush Boise ADHD Portland Hunga Joe Lynch Jill Linda San Francisco fourteen months ten days
"jolanta" Discussed on The Science of Happiness

The Science of Happiness

07:37 min | 3 years ago

"jolanta" Discussed on The Science of Happiness

"Sorry. Just the bus husband over man. Jolanta is rolling her eyes might twice. Bad right now. She's like that was so Sacramento punch somebody now Gillette to you rolling your eyes. No, yes. So just so sweet I'm both jealous and in disbelief. I bet a lot of our listeners or like what is going on in that marriage. I promise they're not putting it on for for the microphones. I like that is what they are like, though, they are just very expressive, very sweet people. So Gillette who were trying to set you up. But you also tried making an effective apology. Your husband for that trip to Argentina that we heard about it the beginning of the show. So a little different than the instant pot isn't. Yeah. Not as Dorrell. So let's listen in see how it goes renting. Yes. Okay. Scared. Laugh, we just take one sip of wine. It's a basic. Okay. Brad. I definitely messed up with Argentina drip into any research or planning. I'm sorry. I said everything sounded fine without knowing if I meant that or not. And I definitely misled you. And miss leading people is not okay. But I promise that I only did it because as trying to make you happy and once plans and trapped by meeting all of your needs instead of checking in with any of the mind, I love that. And I'm disappointed in myself for not being able to say how I felt in the moment and waiting until how I felt like overwhelmed the moment. So I want you that I promise I'm working very hard on to not just blindly agree and let resentment build up so it explodes. Like, I want to stop doing that. And I I'm really trying to get better at that. Because I know it's a problem have. And if it's okay with you, I want to also start planning things. For us to get there that maybe are something that you would pick on your own or I would pay on my own. But like something that works for our dynamic as a couple. How is that apology? That was really nice, really. That was really nice to hear really. Yeah. When you said when you said you misled me that was really powerful to stra. Here you label like that and say like understand the that's what I did. Even though I know I know it wasn't. It wasn't something. You didn't maliciously? And it wasn't something you didn't evacuate. I wasn't like lying to like I understand that. I did a lot for anything. But but like bottom line is. That's how I felt. And that's because that's how you felt like you've probably handled it. So it was really nice to hear. And then for you say that you have like a weight attorney to make it better is really nice to hear. Yeah. That's like a kick ass apology. Wow. To let you know. We're gonna have to rewrite our instructions and step one has to be have a big gulp of wine. Yeah. That was the first step for real doesn't it? Isn't it those really nice first of all you have wonderful husbands? They're really can't sports. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So appreciate what was that? Like for you to Linda it was hard. I realized the hardest part for me and the apart that definitely stood out to Brad. My husband was just the acknowledgment coming. I I like to skip right to, you know, explaining why I did what I did or just trying to make amends an offer. You know, turn it it or something we can do next time without just naming the situation. And what I did that hurt the other person as opposed to just trying to fix it? I think that acknowledgement is often the hardest step in the apologies. Just to say. I hurt your feelings or whatever the case may be you could hear at the end of your conversation. Just this nice reuniting loving emotional tone did have some enduring effects for totally. Yeah. I think like I'm obsessed with this abolishing method. I I love it and afterwards broad asked me to send him the link. Who he's like, I'll talk to you about something. And like, it was a nice moment. Where also I think both of us are very stubborn opinionated people sometimes, and we think of giving an apology as to losing. And exactly I think this really helped us re frame and enjoy the process of you know, you can explain your intent without calling the other person wrong, or, you know, blaming them for misunderstanding. And it can be productive experience that doesn't feel like taking a loss at all. I think that's such an important frame that often we look at some of these things like forgiveness and expressing kindness or apologizing is forms of weakness. But as we heard in your examples are actually forms of strength, which is really striking. So Kristen how was doing this step by step approach to making an apology different from ordinary kinds of apologies. Well, it made it feel much more. Like it was. Was a real process that could have real comes versus something that I mean normally dean also apologizes quite a bit. I have to point out. I apologize a lot. He apologizes a lot. And I'm not sure if it's because he's from New Zealand, and I'm from Minnesota. But I think both cultures love apologizing. So politics all the time anyway. But I think that there was something about going through these steps that made it feel like different than how we normally do things. It added some weight to it that makes sense rather than just being what we naturally reflexively do in the moment. Yeah. More than just a culturally based language practice in more of a real intentionally produced act. Yeah. With very very intentional attempts at trying to fix the situation as well. As I said earlier, I think women are told to apologize a lot in that. We should not do it so much, but I don't see apologizing as a way of giving up. I see it as a way of getting closer to your partner. So way of saying I don't want to hurt you. And I know I probably did. And I feel horrible about it. And that's. It's an act of kindness. It's not an act of giving up wonderfully put well, Jill Lynton, Kristen. I wanted to thank you for sharing your voices and sharing your policies and sharing your husband's this digital way. And and for all the good work. You do on your podcast by the book. That's been just a delight to have you here. Thank you so much. Thank it was lovely. Coming up next. We'll talk about the science behind what goes into making an effective apology.

Argentina Brad Kristen Gillette Jolanta Sacramento Dorrell Jill Lynton New Zealand Linda attorney dean partner Minnesota
"jolanta" Discussed on Terrible, Thanks For Asking

Terrible, Thanks For Asking

01:56 min | 3 years ago

"jolanta" Discussed on Terrible, Thanks For Asking

"I take great pleasure in telling people about podcasts that like in one of them is by the book, it is half reality, show half self-help experiment. It's really an idea. I wish I had. I don't hold it against Jolanta or Kristen who in each episode follow a different self-help book. Literally, all the rolls down to the letter to find out which ones are actually helpful as a person who is very susceptible to any self-help messaging, which really by basically new book. It's very helpful and also very, very funny because they've dug into a lot of the bestsellers that you've heard of like the secret, the five love languages. Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. They record themselves at work at home trying to live by the book yet it it's funny, of course, but it also provides a really insightful look at the waves that. We're all just trying to make our lives better. So I think that you will love it. So go find it wherever you're listening to this podcast, go find by the book as well. Okay. The talk. So. How am I. To be honest, I'm worried I'm very, very worried. A stay worried a lot. And I feel like. My life is just passing me by in. I just cannot sought worrying and just live life. And I don't know when it will end. In when I'll ever have peace of mind..

Jolanta Kristen
"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

By The Book

01:38 min | 3 years ago

"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

"Resources available online now for beginners if you can. So then you can basically go straight from your inspiration and make it a reality without being constricted by what is in the shops and what does or doesn't fit you. That is. Some sick advice and just like you Jolanta you. So I mean, I did not. So a new garment waistline of some PAM's. But yes, I love that advice. I loved to have the time and the resources that is very, very cool. I wouldn't admire anyone who's like, yeah, I love this style and I learned how to so it for myself buying. I used to do that back in college. I haven't done it in ages and I'm my best friend stuff that she like makes dress and then dip dies it. And it's like the trendiest coolest thing you've ever seen. And just like I just like three together with some leftover linen and I'm like, who are you. It's incredible. Yeah. If you can make your own body like nothing looks better. It's fantastic. Here is the tip from Elena and Elena comes from a place of expertise. She says, I used to work in the fashion industry, and I totally understand the frustration with women sizing. It's most likely not going to change the way vise developing some strategies to get by Jolanta provided a great example by trying on different sizes during her shopping trip brands base, their sizing on their quote, ideal customer, which is different for each brand. So a big national chain, like the gap is generous with their sizing because they are trying to fit the most women across the country. Whereas smaller more boutique brands have a narrow customer range, so don't get frustrated if a shirt you love doesn't fit right.

Jolanta Elena PAM
"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

By The Book

02:54 min | 3 years ago

"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

"That's right. It's time for another by the book epilogue this week. We're looking at the aftermath of living by the curated closet by news Correze our Facebook and Email have been blowing up this week. You guys had a lot to say about the curated closet and personal style. So let's dive right into some questions we got. We got so many questions on a wide variety of topics. Shane, for example, wrote in about when your style and your body don't quite seem to match Shane rights. I am wondering if the book talks at all about what to do when the style you aspire to doesn't necessarily match your body type. I love though granola outdoorsy look, but I'm all curves and a lot of the outdoor brands don't even make closing in my size plus their boxy style is unflattering to my size and figure type. Any thoughts? Yeah. I mean, it sucks. Allot of the manufacturers have different clothing lines. Don't make clothes for the wide variety. These bodies that we have right now, they're going to fit for your largest part and that's it. I'm like, oh, well, you have big shoulder. So we're gonna make it like a box, the width of years old. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, that's very, very frustrating. Do I have to say in the book, a new talks a lot about how you know do not worry about like for this body type number, where that, like if you like it and you feel confident in it, you will look good even if it's not like you know, the right type of vertical stripe to like make your filing thin. You know, don't pay attention to if you're a pear shape or a v. or you know, and what correspondent close work with that, just where what you feel cool in. Yeah. So if it's functional for your hikes, that's all that matters. And one of the things she also says is, don't be afraid to go in and get your clothes altered. You know what? By the clothes that fit your shoulders or your hips, or what have you then have that waste taken, and if you want to. Learn how to take it in your cell? Oh yeah. Yeah, Jolanta dead. She took in her trousers at the waist, so don't be afraid to get things altered either. And then you know, sometimes the big mainstream shops are going to be, you know, looking to the mainstream people, maybe go to a specialty shop. Also all that are more targeted toward women and just because you like outdoorsy stuff, doesn't mean you have to stick to leg the outdoorsy brands like there are things that will match us that that aren't necessarily, you know, found at REI. Yeah, like Eddie. Bauer and l.l bean makes them like pretty cool looking, you know, khaki skirts with fun pockets that are very outdoorsy in my opinion, but wouldn't be found at REI or something. Yeah, sometimes you'll be surprised just going to target. You might find something that's going to fit you better than that fancy brand name. Outdoor stores? Yeah, yeah. Have there had a question about her body versus her clothes as well?.

Shane Facebook Jolanta REI Eddie Bauer
"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

By The Book

04:05 min | 3 years ago

"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

"Oh, Caja Jolanta we talked about our first week of living by the curated closet. Let's get into week to tell me about it. Let's do this. I started week too, with my closet detox, which is step for. And since we did the con- Mari book a little over year ago and I moved last month like I have purged many, many close. So I was a little nervous about what I would find when I'd be talks to my closet because I do still need things to wear. But I have to say, again, pleasantly surprised during this step. I have a lot more nice things that are totally in line with my style profile than I thought. I just don't really wear them. Listen. The this shirt is really good, and I never wear it because I feel like it's too fancy for me. But it's just a sheer, I think it's still to yours. Sure it. That's sort of bagging it. It's well, and it has cooled detailing on the back sort of open. I like this. Kylo on it, but I really like the shirt and nothing Stu good for me. I can wear whatever the fuck. I want love pile. Yeah, love pile. You can wear whatever the fuck you want. Stop hiding in those what pants put on that sheer t-shirt? Yeah, do it. But you don't wanna hang out with me when I'm wearing the same sweatpants. I've worn for four days. I mean, I change my underwear. Maybe you can pair the sheer t shirt with the sweatpants. Maybe really add to my edgy lick. No, but this was fun. I pulled out a lot of ill-fitting sweats and donated them to a local charity. I joined an online consignment site to sell a few very oversized dresses that are essentially just black potato sex and even taught myself how to tailor some pants that needed to be taken and took them in at the waist what? Yeah, that is a tough tailoring job being I can do. But while I was surprised to, wow, I'm very impressed. So you're leaving your bag stuff behind your getting into your witchy sexy disco style back. That's great. Yeah. And after I tailored and detox, I moved on to step five which is examining your lifestyle and turns out I'm basically only have four categories of activity. I need to dress for there's clothes I wear for yoga or walking the dog. My more active wear stuff. There. There's a working from home that I need to dress for working out in the world, like going to panoply or doing stand up shows and especially Cajuns, you know your wedding, your funeral, your fancy party. Well, I know from all the leggings, you wear your probably set for working at home and going to yoga. You are so right, you're so right, and I have a good rotation of nice things to wear it, especially -cations too. But I realized my working out in the world wardrobe was totally lacking. And this makes a lot of sense to me because it's the area of my life that I feel the least confident in. I never know what to wear two meetings or to my stand up shows. So interesting dilemma because this is actually closed getting real issues here, voice of clothes. It's actually reflecting what you feel most comfortable and confident I feel most comfortable like nj Amies. No, no. I mean, I don't think that's a bad thing. No. Really interesting that a book that's supposed to be just about. We're supposed to look better is making you think about the areas of these confident that is so fascinating. I guess if you have to define your personal style, you have to think about like your personal limitations. I don't know. Interesting. Yeah. What did you do next then? So I decided I needed to fix this wardrobe problem. And I moved on to step six, which is really learning how to shop because I thought maybe I could get get an item or two for my work wardrobe..

Caja Jolanta Mari four days
"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

By The Book

02:29 min | 3 years ago

"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

"And when I pretend that I don't speak English, it is playing certain people's stereotypes that's not cool. And on the flip side, though, I'm going to say this what is so wrong with people? Not speaking. English is not the official language of the US and I'm totally fine of some people don't speak English who live in America. I'm fine with that. But you make such a valid point and I know the problem with doing this. I, I know that I'm playing. Something that is not cool. One also get annoyed when you're lag. Some people are like, where are you from? Oh God, I hate that. I get it all the time. It had client every friend I have. That isn't what I get it just because I looked Jewish enough where but anyway. Yeah, I mean it's a horrible part of being an Asian person in the US you're constantly being questioned as if you are a foreigner. And then sometimes I, I, I just get fed up and fine. I will play the foreigner because you're treating me like one all the time, and it's exhausting to always be a foreigner and level edged sword. Yeah. And sometimes it's just, I don't know. I can't you reap the benefit for once someone assuming you don't speak. Yeah. I mean, I guess sometimes I feel that way sometimes I do it's it's definitely not me being my best tow. It's not. So I totally understand where you're coming from. John. I appreciate your writing. Again. I'm surprised more people didn't. Right. I expected there to be done so thought that would be like the big issue of the episodes. Yeah. I thought so too. All right, but enough about me. Let's shift gears and talk about you Joel into great shouts for you on this episode. Here's one of those shouts from Claire. Claire says Jolanta your story reporting, your gym teacher has struck a chord with me particularly on this episode when you chose not to hear from your abuser. I reported my rape and abuse case to my college. Part of the process included the opportunity for my abuser and me to each write statement to each other. I chose not to write anything to them. I thought, fuck you. You don't deserve to know anything about how I am feeling. I still relish that choice. It felt powerful and healthy for me. On the other hand, they did write me an apology letter, a quote, apology letter. It was so problematic. They clearly did not understand at all what they had done wrong, and we're manipulative and victim blaming it was just another attack and more concrete evidence that they were only interested in hurting me. It did not help my well. Being and made my recovery process harder Jolanta. I so.

US Claire victim blaming official America Jolanta Joel rape John
"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

By The Book

03:14 min | 3 years ago

"jolanta" Discussed on By The Book

"Say i am so proud of you anybody who has not already seen the article that jolanta wrote that she tweeted out please look it up joe went to work and they find out it's in the portland tribune there's sort of an investigative report that was written by wonderful reporter named shasta hearings more so she wrote sort of a bit like a bigger article about it and i wrote an opinion piece and there's also a statement from the school and my health teacher it is so good it is so brave and i mean i i can't you know speak to your experience dylan to that's your story but i can say this that back when we were living by white with things happen to good people and the step called bravery where i also spoke out in my son tool harasser i have to say that while i was working with the journalist on that i was not scared at all but as soon as it came out i was terrified yeah that's really hard part yet kinda don't think about when you're lack toma fucking story you know yeah it's out and there are trolls saying like i'm trying to ruin a guy's career for no reason and it's like no i just want people to know like harassment comes in a lot of different forms yeah and one thing that i just love and i i wish i knew originally said this but i'm just gonna paraphrase it when you are going public with a story about sexual harassment when you are naming names and pointing fingers and sharing your story it feels like you're about to jump off of a cliff but then you realize there was never a cliff there in the first place and there are million people there to catch you and that's how i feel about our listeners of our listeners all of you guys are so loving and so supportive and jolanta and i i mean feel very i i feel so lucky i feel that we're so lucky and i don't even know if you and i would have done all the things we've done to speak out on our own behalf not if not for our listeners not for the show so huge thanks to all of our listeners and joe went to again i'm just i'm so proud of you are my superhero you are one out here uhhuh yeah i want to add something really quickly if i may i also have been hearing from a lot of people who i knew and who i have never met who went to my school who who shared similar experiences with me so just it's nice to know you're not alone and there are people you've never really met who who believe you and support us thank you it makes me feel so much less crazy you deserve jolanda you deserve it you are not a wonder woman you are you are let's take a wonder break shall we it's not one it's the kind of break that wonder women take yeah that's just like chilling out in our invisible play you know exactly what their lassos on say we're not crazy and we take a wonder break yes let's take a wonder break and when we come back we'll answer a couple of questions and as always we will announce next week's book so around.

jolanta joe