17 Burst results for "esther parole"
"esther parole" Discussed on Ask Me Another
"Distilled and bottled in austin texas you from n._p._r. W._n._y._c. coming to you from the bell house in beautiful brooklyn new york. It's n._p._r.'s our of puzzles word games and n. Trivia asked me another. I'm jonathan colton now. Here's your host. Bureau is a for hello. Everybody welcome welcome welcome. We've a great show for you. As you may know we have four brilliant contestants since they are going to be out here playing nerdy games with us but right now they are backstage. They're all sharing their hot takes on the movie green book which none of them have seen and what are the become our big winner and this is valentine's day show everybody. I know i know so my husband and i we've been together. Ten years. We met off line called real life anymore offline but i did a lot of dating when i moved here on j. date. I very hard because i'm jay data at the time so you had your picture you wrote your profile and then you were supposed to put like a couple of words under your picture like a tagline to get people excited to check you out and i did not know how to describe myself in a couple of words you know at the time i was like i'm in my thirties. Kinda been around the block. What do i put so finally just put ads. Ask is real fixer upper. Yeah hobbies include depression and making you guess why i am angry fun thing. Did you ever have that moment relationship where someone's just passive aggressively angry and you have to decide if you like that's the house to relationship is is we do think of new ways of expressing but not really expressing your anger now and you gradually really learn that the other person would it looks like when they're angry and you learn to ignore it right. Just gloss over it on our show we have we have to special special guests on this show. We have amazing comedian returning to our show michael ian black the michael ian black also has a podcast called obscure where he reads. Thomas hardy's book jude the obscure out loud and comments. It's on it. This is actually the template for the future of american education. This is how people are gonna learn about classic literature. They're going to listen to podcasts. Us of classic works read by celebrities. That's how it's going to work. Homework is going to be like listen to jane eyre as read by post malone. That's it's going to be the thing after that. Listen to ru paul's a brief history of time. We also have relationship expert esther parole on the show. Her podcast is called. Where should we begin..
"esther parole" Discussed on Girls Gotta Eat
"You said brilliantly, I'm a sex and culture writer, I'm freelance, which means I worked for a bunch of different places playboy is one of my main clients. So when I like to lead with, because it just sounds really cool super sexy, and I had the honor of being their adviser, which means I wrote their advice column for their spring, twenty nineteen issue, which was really cool. Lot of funny questions on what you guys could pick up the summer issue is out now but you could still get the spring issue end the column is also online. So if you want to check it out there. You can see it by they sorry, they manner from west shining, example, men, women queer straight, everyone like the great thing about playboy is when I started writing for them, they had just kind of opened like their content up to be more inclusive, and bringing someone like me on was a little bit of a part of that. So it's really, really cool. I love writing for them. It's not the playboy that your dad used to not. But are there still like Senator? Yes, there are still. Centerfolds folds. It's, it's a quarterly magazine Nestle three per magazine, but they're really, really beautiful and well done unless you're I would never. But like I kinda wanna do it now. I would I would never like my parents would have to be dead. Yeah. And bill. Did it I would love to pose for playboy hot though? But like they're really, really well done. I highly suggest everyone picking. I'm fascinated by playboy. Moroder to still, I guess, but as a writer, I'm just like I love just watching magazines evolve over town. And I mean that's just like it's playboy. I mean, the cool thing about it is, so I wrote the adviser calling for the spring issue in the woman who wrote for the summer issue is a woman named Esther parole. I don't know. Yeah, I Email her PR each and every month. Your your little triggering right now. Literally tried to get her on since before we started the podcast because you came in talking about our books before we ever started this podcast. Yeah. No, she's amazing. I actually have met her a few times, because she's a friend humble brag she's a friend of a friend, I was at her prevalent, Hines day party last year, which was really, really cool and her,.
"esther parole" Discussed on I Do Podcast
"Whether it's a study of over eleven thousand British adults of by Cynthia Graham, or Christian marks good in bed. Studies or another study that Sarah hundred Murray did with her colleague, Dr mill housing where they looked at undergraduates of over one hundred fifty undergraduate, what this study's find a Jannine again in again. Is that cohabiting and long-term sexual exclusivity damp in female Beato fundamentally in ways that they do not the male Beato in makes I started to see this? I could've been believe my eyes I couldn't believe the data are out bear that monogamy in general, is tighter show for women than it is for men. And people have said this not only his March Indiana, said that it's harder for women to want the sex, they can have in. It is Vermont Esther parole, who has a big crossover audiences of the same thing. And yet, we're still so resistant to this idea of that, that women struggle with monogamy probably more than men, do even though there is no it and started showing that it just illustrates to me, how invested we are in our stereotypes about men and women in, I feel like the monogamy stereotypes is the one that's going to be the hardest to not down. So for a listener who is, is hearing this, and they're like, wow, I'm totally relating. This is me. I've been in a long term relationship and my libido is down. And I don't know how to talk to my partner. Like where do they take it from there? Let's take a quick break to talk.
"esther parole" Discussed on Mark Bell's Power Project
"Right. Like that's a good conversation on a lot of dudes that, that I know married men that will not take direction on eating pussy from their wives because it hurts their ego. You're you don't like the way that I do it. Honey? That hurts me now. I don't wanna do it anymore. You know, and I swear to God, this is the case, and it's more than it's more than a few. Right. So, so there's an issue there, right? I think and there's an issue with, like, hey, I know you've had sex before me, but I don't wanna know about it. I don't wanna hear about it, and it's like, oh, like why not have that conversation, you know, and there's different ways to introduce the other, you know, like Esther parole talks about that, you know, and that's the some people watch porn while they have sex like you don't have to introduce a different person that you can just have role playing or you can have just maybe introduce a lot of truths. And maybe you can talk about what you prefer, and what you don't prefer just as you would with how you would discuss highlight to be treated in general. Right. I'm like I don't like when you do that conversation that should be on the table to conversation that should be had. And I'm not saying that the, the monogamy versus nominal should be had. I'm not saying that at all. I am saying is that no matter what relationship you're in. Yeah. Talk about sex talk about the people. You've been with about the things that you enjoy. Talk about things you want to explore. They haven't tried before, like all those things matter. You know, but I think as we learned about this more and more and understood things differently. In terms of love, like you think about your kids, this example, that gets used often in these communities. Do you love your second kid less than your I know? So do you have less love for different partner? Do you have less love for your wife? If you have a different partner. That's never been the case with the people, I've talked to poly-amorous just to get the lingo, down literally translates to more than one love. So that's a different thing than being swinger where you're just having sex outside of the marriage, and it's all okay. It's all up on the up and maybe have group sex with your wife included, or your husband included. That's a different thing..
"esther parole" Discussed on Power 105.1 FM
"Shall. I mean, the guy we oughta breakfast club. Never just join us. We were talking about Jada Pinkett at a red table talk. Smith. Jada Pinkett Smith. Now. What are we talking about? She was on with Renou couple's therapist, Esther parole. And here's what she said. Everybody thinks that as soon as you find out there's an affair. You gotta get a divorce night. I'm not of that persuasion. Mike goes, I think that the are many relational betrayals content elect in violence and indifference, and nobody takes people get into war. I so relate to that, because, you know, I'm past a lot about infidelity and your relationship with will in this like. No, but they've been other betrayal tonight, the heart that have been far bigger than I even think in regards to infidelity situation, asking eight hundred five five one five one. Do you think they are a big betrayals in infidelity? Causes. You know what I'm saying? Violence is definitely one of them he put your hands on your significant other. I think that's worse than, you know, infidelity or children, U children. Absolutely. And, you know, our mate, sort of closest people to us. They know our deepest darkest secrets. They know insecurities imagine billing, one of those secrets in front of people poke at one of my insecurities in front of people. I feel like all of that might hurt worse than fidelity if Doty hurts, my God. I agree. Yeah. I mean, I can't speak for people because some people some people that infidelity might be a whole other situation like they might have kids outside of their marriage a whole other family on the side, which I think that have happened to. So for some people that might be other things would hurt more than terrible betrayal. Like you said a child having the child is definitely something that probably hurt to just not that Delhi. Yeah. But you can't tell people how to feel like some people might feel like that is a huge betrayal. And I, I will get divorced from it. But I will say, yes, certain things like finance you'll reasons. Our number one reason that people get divorced if somebody is hiding things from you financially and I think that has to hurt as well. Let's trust is broken. Hello. Who's this? Gary. Asking what do you think is a big betrayal? Infidelity, bro. Worst been vitriol. I'll make. The conversation. Oh infidelity. Also. Would have how worse for wave. You got a different level infidelity. Way where having babies a devil infidelity definitely. Uh-huh. Yeah. Ashley, good morning. May talking. Do you think they are big betrayals? Infidelity. For me. It would be if my husband went out and not only started to sleep with someone else that had a deep connection with that person emotional connection. Yes. Troves sectors deck, which no that doesn't mean it's okay for him to go out and do it, but it would be that emotional connection. Like my relationship was over you, having a whole another relationship. Another whole another connection with a woman that, Hello this coupon. Okay. Okay. You want a motorcycle money was coupon. You want to count. What do you think they'll big of a trails and infidelity? On fame. Or your beat us on what they're not gonna feel like. Oh, I'll feel more, I wouldn't feel hurt. If I wasn't getting feet in all hurt. The same hurt the same level. There's one of the big any other raw still gonna feel okay, right? Mental abuse is a huge betrayal to. Being violence. Absolutely, well, eight hundred five eight five one oh five one. We're talking Jada Pinkett Jada Pinkett Smith. She was on red table talking about big trails infidelities. What are they call us up right now is the breakfast club? Morning..
"esther parole" Discussed on Savage Lovecast
"And I wonder if this no one has controlled for that in the studies, maybe you could suggest to her that the next study, she do looks if there's a lesser or the same difference between men and women's like, continued attraction if you can control for how much work housework, and management and cleaning and mothering the partners. Do I loved having Wednesday Martin on the show as well. If you want to hear more of Wednesday, check out Chris Ryan's podcast, ten generally speaking episode three or four six they had a long conversation. It's really terrific onto your question. No one's done a study that controlled for that so far as I know it is true that a lot of couples will go into couples counseling when the woman is experiencing low libido, which gets Wednesday would argue attributed to factors of the relationship or their interpersonal relationship when it may just be biology in wiring that his cratering the woman's libido because she has a desire a hardwired desire for novelty and variety and isn't getting that at home from the same guy, and maybe resentment over the apportionment of household labour compounds that and makes it worse and makes it harder for two people who are used to each other and take each other for granted. And are having a hard time with desire, you know, as Esther parole points out, it's hard to want which you already have. That's what desires desires wanting something. You don't have. And when you have someone that can complicate desire over the long haul. All that said, there are lots of cases, and this is anecdote not data with couples and couples counseling and the guy gets religion about doing his fair share. Or maybe does more of the household labor. And she still doesn't wanna fuck him because she's bored because it's really not about who's loading the dishwasher at what clip and who's doing the laundry at what clip also might be beneficial to look at same sex couples and their relationships in the apportionment of household labor, which there are studies that show that comes to household abras same sex couples. They're more gal -tarian there's a fair distribution of household chores in house a labor in same sex relationships. It would be interesting then to look at desire in those relationships, and whether that more gal -tarian division of house labor contributes in a positive way too that couples ability to sustain desire for one. Another over time is the rich field for study perhaps. But I don't think a lot of studies have been done. There are however a lot of. Is out there who will tell you. They do more than their fair share at home, and that's self reporting and their perceptions may be skewed because the culture tells a guy that isn't do anything at home if he's doing just a little bit. He might feel like he's doing half or more than half. But there are lots of guys out there who report soft report, they're doing more than their fair share in their be mo- partner still aren't interested which could point to everything else in Wednesday. Martin's book about pollution about biology about the way women are wired desire works, which may have nothing to do with who unloaded the dishwasher last. Hey, Don on a late twenties when NFL lodge city. I've never really had you talk about this. So it'd be excited to also wondering what you think about the ASCA like kicking someone out off you sex of you'll bad so like for contacts like state, no explicitly hook update would is like, you know, kind of date with drinks ninety sort of hit it off. We we hit it off. And he invites you to his we have sex, and then kind of midnight one comes around. And he's like Kimmel outstay you have to get him and kicked me out to go ahead. And it makes me feel like pretty disrespected this is often twice to me my recently tonight. And I didn't know maybe it's like he was a bit older than me. Maybe it's like more of us than when you're older, and you take Joe most seriously and have to think what works more, but I have watched more of and I'd be happy to sleep. But off say, but. I wonder what you will about the Asoka of that like kicking someone else you've had sex. It's funny on the gaps. If you're inviting someone over the have sex, you're hosting people ask can you host?.
"esther parole" Discussed on Gadget Lab Podcast
"And this book was the lectures of the guy who. Who loved proosed, and I love I. And so I read these beautiful book that was the Lao? And I read I read that yesterday once that whole it's called lost time lectures on Proust's in a Soviet prison camp. What's your recommendation Oriel listeners to this podcast may be familiar with my ongoing quest to understand my own mortality? You may be familiar with one of my favorite recommendations of all time the week roh-kap, which reminds you five times a day that you are going to die. I have really enjoyed that experience. Because it does help me put on my phone or it just helped me reconsider what I'm doing on my phone when I get these random push alerts, but I didn't have something like that on my computer until recently, which is a chrome extension called death clock, which every time it opened a new tab. Similarly reminds me of my own mortality. Let's see amazing. Tells you how many days hours you have left. That's correct. So you install the chrome extension you enter your birthday, and then using sort of basic life expectancy estimates. It will tell you how many days hours minutes, you have left right now. It says I have eighteen thousand three hundred one days, eight hours, three minutes and twenty seconds left. I better make them count. Eleven thousand days left. Make count Mike. Anyway, Mike, how are you going to make those count? You always this is supposed to be a segue. Clout? My waning mortality run. All right. So my recommendation is something that I have at least two view if not all three of you in the room to thank for, and it all turned me onto Esther paroles podcast, which is called. How should we where should we begin? We begin Katharina. She is a frequent guest on your show when we first started listening to your show Arielle really brightened up because Esther was on the show. And then Lauren also got excited about it. So I had to dive in and start listening. I listen to a couple of episodes of the second season. She is a relationship therapist. And basically what the show is is her doing therapy sessions with a microphone in the room. You hear her talking to real people about their real problems in the bedroom or with the relationship, and she talks through that with them and gives them advice. And it's fascinating. It's very. Bizarre. But also. Might be kinda frightening to have be a fly on the wall in such an intimate conversation. But she does a really good job with it. And her producers, they do a really good job with the show. So I'd definitely recommend that you go back and start listening to seasons. One and two because season three is coming out very soon the trailer for season three just dropped. So you have a couple of weeks before the new episodes start arriving, and you should start listening to it now. So Esther pearls podcast, and it's spelled S -ther, but she pronounces it. Esther as stare stare. Sorry. I'm blowing it. Yeah. And I will say I am obsessed with her podcast as well and have listened since I came out. It's such a joy to hear her in conversation with you Katerina because it's his very different context in which she brings her expertise to technology and is fascinating and wonderful source and how it affects our relationship with other people s right? She does. It's great Lauren. Your turn my wreck. Manasian this week earlier this week. I had the opportunity to go to San Francisco premiere of the inventor out for blood and Silicon Valley, which is new Alex Gibney directed documentary. That's going to be on HBO starting March eighteenth about the saga. We can never get enough of theranos in the story of Elizabeth homes. Now, if you've read John Kerry ruse book about this John Kerry was the Wall Street Journal reporter that ended up breaking opening breaking open the story.
"esther parole" Discussed on WNYC 93.9 FM
"From NPR and WNYC coming to you from the bell house in beautiful Brooklyn, New York. It's NPR's our of puzzles word games and trivia asked me another I'm Jonathan Coleman. Now, here's your host. Oh. Oh, everybody. Welcome. We've a great show for you. As you may know, we have four brilliant contestants. They are going to be out here playing nerdy games with us. But right now, they are backstage. They're all sharing their hot takes on the movie green book, which none of them have seen. And one of them will become our big winner. And this is your Valentine's Day show. Everybody. I know I know. So my husband, and I we've been together ten years we met offline not called real life anymore offline, but I did a lot of dating when I moved here. I was on Jay date fed it very hard because Jay data at the time. So you had your picture you wrote your profile, and then you supposed to put like a couple of words under your picture like a tagline to get people excited. Check you out. And I did not know how to describe myself in a couple of words, you know, at the time. I was like I'm in my thirties. I've kind of around the block, you know, like, what do I put? So finally just put as is. A real fixer upper. Yeah. Hobbies include depression. And making you guess why am angry? Did you ever have that moment, you relationship, someone's just passive aggressively angry, and you have to decide Felix relationship? What do you think of new ways of expressing, but not really expressing your anger? No. And you gradually learn that the other person would it looks like when they're angry, and you learn to ignore it. Right. Right. Just gloss over. On our show. We have we have to special guests on this show. We have amazing comedian returning to our show, Michael, Ian, black. Michael, Ian, black also has a podcast called obscure where he reads Thomas Hardy's book, Jude the obscure out loud. And comments on it. Which is actually the template for the future of American education. This is how people are going to learn about classic literature. They're gonna listen to podcasts of classic works. Read by celebrities. That's how it's gonna work homework is going to be like listen to Jane Eyre as read by post Malone. That's going to be the thing. After that. Listen to rupaul a brief history of time. We also have relationship expert Esther parole on the show. Her podcast is called. Where should we begin? It takes you inside her office where she offers couples therapy. And if you wonder how could couples actually be okay with airing their problems in arguments publicly, well, then you've never spent a weekend at IKEA. Or Costco or target or in my bathroom while I'm brushing my teeth. My husband, and I actually I think we have the lamest arguments of all time. What do you have the same argument over and over again? Yes, What's the topic of your main argument? Mostly it's hard to have a roommate. Yes. It is hard to live with someone. You know what I mean? Yep. Whether you're involved with them or not is very difficult to share a space with somebody super. Yeah. Live and let live actually I think back at that. I did it all wrong. I love my husband. But on our first date. I asked him like what kind of music. Do you like listen to what relationship? Do you have with your mom dumb? This is what I should've asked him. Do you put your crap away? That's what I should have asked. I should've posting like you walk through the door. You have a jacket hat and bag walk me through what happens next. All right. We have a great show everybody you guys. Our first game is about sick burns from famous figures. Confucius once said silence is a true friend who never betrays. Unlike marie. Let's meet our contestants. I up Tatyana Vega. You're a senior analyst at an added agency. And you've met some pretty amazing celebrities jaylo. Yes. Okay. So what were the circumstances? That led you to meet jaylo I worked downtown and she was filming shades of blue. And I had a good friend at work who we would just have lunch is about Jalen. He sent me a g tapping like Jalen filming down the block on. I was like F this. I'm leaving work. I'm gonna go find. And I to my husband, and he's like go back to work the responsible adult you're not gonna meet her. And I said try me, and I went I asked the guy who worked at craft services if she was done. He said, yes. And I just waited in this little group of two people, and I got a selfie with J lo very cool. And where is this photo? Now on on my social media. Well done well done. Donna when you ring in. We'll hear this. Your opponent is Sarah fab, injure, your professional musician. Nice. What instrument? Do you play? I'm a double bassist..
"esther parole" Discussed on Guys We F****d
"It's like I mean, not the longest, but it's been like three years. So the point where it's like, you know, that the the the honeymoon is definitely they're not still a honeymoon. And he's like she woke up, and I was like jerking off the porn. I'm like, and what does she do? Well, she like joined in and she started massing. That's so nice. That may not be much specific things. But that's fucking cool just options options are there. Because I think it's on. I'm reading this book Esther parole wrote this book called the state of affairs just about monogamy, and I'm szeswith this book, and it's amazing. I got the audio books. So I could just listen to it on repeat, but to put all of your sexual satisfaction and emotional satisfaction intellectual satisfaction. One hundred percent of all those categories onto one person it's unfair, and it's so much pressure. And even though you want to take on that, especially if you're a hero type of person you want to save people. Of course, you wanna take on that that sounds like a fun exciting challenge. You can express yourself that way. But you need if you both can realize at the very top of the relationship forming that you're not going to be the one to satisfy one hundred percent of that in their needs all the time. And that's okay. Life will be so much easier. Everything just finding out a lot of trial and error like for coming into this. I was a lot different. I would probably think that I was like, oh, yeah. Monogamous whatever I'm not at all. I'm very traditional very regular. I need. Like, the my life is so crazy that stability of some wine. We both switch who is there. And crazy. I am. I'm just very like regular. I'm realizing the same thing where it's like, I gotta find my life is. So we all live very similar lifestyle. Where like I realize like, I the the chemical of dopamine is running through me some like you get off stage. And then it's like the stuff I like in the gym like like like the runner size, literally, meaning an adrenalin. I'm like there's so much adrenaline running through my body all the time. And then there's like how like my don't have like a set schedule. I'm in a different town. And I'm like, dude, there's so much fucking dopamine relic. I need to I need home to be a stable place. I need to feel safe..
"esther parole" Discussed on Guys We F****d
"And I think it would be kinda cool and kind of fun to like integrate that into your relationship in a way where you guys like sorta support each other like that on with it. And I and I don't know how for the person to like, yeah. Yeah. It's doable. It's I mean, I have friends who are like, you know, they get into that culture. They wanna watch the girl get fucked by someone else. I think that would like you'd have to you know, you'd be bailing me out of jail the next, but that's just not your king. That's not my thing. But I don't know what I don't know what my kink would be. So you look for. So you could. Yeah. So that's the sort of things that I'm looking toward like, you know, if yeah, I feel like if you can at least at the beginning of the relationship when you think you want to be in a relationship with somebody at least if the person can entertain those ideas and go and be open to them that is like, oh, it's the most freeing thing in the world because then you're like we can go anywhere from here to check in with each other. Yeah. Hiding shit. Oh, the worst like hiding turn off to that would be that would out that on never do like, I'm never gonna wanna do something where I have to be like, I have my friend. Jesse told me like he was like a told me this. The other day is a friend of mine for boarding school. He's like, he's got this girlfriend. They're like they've been in this long relationship. It's like I mean, not the longest, but it's been like three years. So the point where it's like, you know, that the the the honeymoon is definitely they're not still in the honeymoon. And he's like she woke up, and I was like jerking off the porn. I'm like, and what does she do? She's well she like joined in. And she started massing was I like. was like, that's so nice. That may not be much specific thing. But that's fucking cool. And you just options options are there because I think it's on. I'm reading this book Esther parole wrote this book called the state of affairs just about monogamy, and I'm szeswith this book, and it's amazing. I got the audio book. So I could just listen to it on repeat, but to put all of your sexual satisfaction and emotional satisfaction intellectual satisfaction one hundred percent of all those categories onto one person it's unfair. And it's it's so much pressure. And even though you want to take on that, especially if you're a hero type of person he want to save. Of course, you wanna take on that that sounds like a fun exciting challenge. You can express yourself that way. But you need if you both can realize at the very top of the relationship forming that you're not going to be the one to satisfy one hundred percent of that in their needs all the time. And that's okay. Oh life will be so much easier. Just finding out it's a lot of trial and error like for coming into this. I was a lot different. I would probably think that I was like, oh, yeah. Monogamous whatever I'm not at all. I'm very traditional very regular. I need. The my life is so crazy any of the stability of someone. Yeah. We both switch who is there. And crazy. I am. I'm just very like regular. I'm realizing the same thing where it's like, I gotta find my life is. So we all live very similar lifestyle. Where it's like, I realize like, I the the chemical of like dopamine is running through me something like you get off stage. And then it's like the stuff I like in the gym like like like, you know, the runners is literally meaning an adrenalin. I'm like there's so much Drennan running through my body all the time. And then there's like how like my don't have like a set schedule. I'm in a different town. And I'm like, dude, there is so much fucking dopamine relic need to I need home to be a stable place. I need to feel safe..
"esther parole" Discussed on Savage Lovecast
"Letting your partner explore their kings. Without you. So I'm totally in love with my girlfriend, even though we've only been dating a few months, and I think she feels the same about me and constantly tells me that I have everything that she wants in a partnership and like to marry and things like that. However, we have already talked a couple of different times about how she has fat life account and has explored kink with other people and that because of some trauma that she's had an our pass. Sometimes she has the urge to want to export something like that and a really dominant way involving hurting people and things like that. And like, obviously consensual with them. But even the little things she's been with me. I can't find myself really enjoying some struggling because. Ideally, no, you're taught to want to be everything that your partner needs and wants. But I'm trying to open to understand that they can't meet all of her needs and that I don't need to. But I'm hoping that maybe you can give me some advice. About how to go about letting her export something that she needs. And not letting myself be down. I let it get affect our relationship or maybe it's only acting in a positive way. So she can have that outlet. So there's a thing that you said that really leaped out at me, we're taught to want to be everything our partner could ever need or want. And that is true. We are taught that at its sets relationships up for failure. Yeah. Because we can't be everything our partner couldn't eat or one Esther parole in both our book speaks very movingly. And with great insight about this fact, there's so much that we used to get from a whole village of people that we now get we're told we can only legitimately got from a romantic partner that we used to get, you know, emotional support from Ken and friends and neighbors, and we would get you know, we would have intellectual friends in clubs pursuits that we were involved in where we get intellectual stimulation. And now, we're told we can only get that in one person and that put such pressure and stress on our relationships, and we can take that pressure and stress off our relationships just by knowledge in that this thing that we were told is ally that sets us up for failure. Yeah. And I'm I think I'm trying to understand that more that it is harder to. And and the your particular. I think dilemma here is what you were taught one person has to be all things to this other person, which one person can never be kind of is overlaid with, you know, the fear of your partner getting a sexual need met outside the relationship, and what that means or symbolizes that there's something terribly wrong with your relationship that you must be inadequate in some way. If you can't meet at least all your partner's sexual needs. Because whoa. It's a terrible thing. The two people are together, and they say they're committed. But one of them are both of them sometimes have sex with other people that means they're not really in love 'cause love means not wanting to fuck anybody else or touch anybody else, which is another lie that we're told that sets relationships up for failure. Yeah. And she has told me things like you are enough and at cetera. But just that there are these other needs that wouldn't turn it that aren't love or anything like that. Right. And here's how I think you can help you can actually, you know, shove this square peg into that round hole. Just by reframing what it means to meet someone's needs. Maybe what she wants needs is a partner who let's her do these particular things with other people outside of the context of romantic committed relationship. So in a sense, you're meeting her needs you're being. Everything that she needs an partner by allowing her this little space to explore these sexual interests that she isn't interested in exploring with a romantic partner and not all people into us and them or SM or power play want to or can't do that in the context of their committed relationship. It doesn't mean that they're committed relationship is their primary relationship is meeting most of their emotional, social and sexual needs. It is. But there's this thing alongside it that people who don't have those kinks will say, well, why can't you just not do it? And for some key people..
"esther parole" Discussed on The Virtual Couch
"There's really good chemistry. We can talk all the time. But they don't like video games or they don't like sports number one. That comes up is. They wanna read a book, and they don't like sports. And it's like if you really care about somebody further along in the relationship like you'll go wash sports with them, you know, but somebody doesn't have to like everything that you like in review race. We have there's a great Esther parole quote that I'm about to butcher, but she she's the best and you can look this up on these what are going to say something about village does Google Esther pro village, and she has a thing about how now days we expect one person to do everything that Bill it used to take a village to do. So like Bill you'd have you know, your best friend. So you. Go to them for advice. You have your husband who like that relationship sexual relationship babies? That is good your prison, your spiritual person. So we've taken entire village to me all these needs and now because you have access to so many more people. It's like maybe there's somebody out there who can be a bunch of these needs. Instead of me during the regular thing of I like them enough. I wanna get to know the more. We agree chemistry, and we have the same values. So I'm going to choose them. And then get friendship needs mouse. Where if I wanna watch the bachelor, I don't need. Void friend loves a bachelor those, yes, he's gonna find the guy that he has six pack. Abs he cries it, you know, movies about animals kids. Yeah. Any also fix things. And like so best where they've gotta have all that. Yeah. It's like you don't you can have a higher Plummer to right? They're out there. So it's also about moving away from exp. Affecting all these things from one person one person all these needs, which is just ridiculous impossible to have me look at the core things from one person. I'd like that so much because I also feel like in working with a lot of men in like a lot of men even say, I have to kind of put out there that I am the guy that can you everything even not in his almost because there there may maybe expectation from girls dating. So look at that transition, right? That was of youthful transition, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. So bull might go telling you have offensive. He's like authentic doesn't get the girls in they'll even justify. I mean, I can learn how to fix a sink. You know, there's a guy can't fix anything myself. It's like, no, no, you can't see people make their whole career fixing saints. I think figure out how to do dental work. Now, this is somebody's career that takes a lot to learn, you know, but people don't have that in order to be happy. Think. Excitably? Don't forget. Been doing things narcissism percentage. I loved it. They are people who actually probably do a work if I thought about it, right? My last boy from was like that. It was like, I do all these things. I'm like, the the young the us using they can do every pick one thing. What was your thought? If you go bad. Okay. No. So that was kind of transitioning into what are some of the like. Like trends that are going on right now late with men so mandating within this millennial category. We see a lot of people in as a young single adults. Like, I hear all of the ladies complaining about how there's nobody out there. All that's all I hear all I hear in my social life is about the lease side. But on the other side of the latest complain about like Pete how people are not dating guys are not housing rolls out. And then if you look at the research, and if you look at what's going on, you see that men are facing, this double mind, paralyzing double lined. And so the devil bind is like a catch twenty two where women are expecting them to be the good nice relationship guy. And they're also expecting them to be the charismatic mysterious. Like sexy guy fatboy should move. You'll. Yeah. But you can't necessarily people to those really you can't. But it's very difficult to find that..
"esther parole" Discussed on The Skinny Confidential Him And Her Podcast
"One of my questions here which I'm actually gonna end up skipping over is one something you believe that most people are shocked by, but I think we've gone into so many topics or that we need that question now. So I want your your mother, I wanna talk to you about the belief that children and listen. I'm not apparent Lawrence on a parent, and maybe this is controversial for me or maybe I'll get in trouble word it wrong. So politics I do, but the belief that children need monogamous parents to be together in a relationship to be parented correctly. From what? From a lot of things I've seen, you know, I think it's worse when the child is parented by two parents that are together and miserable with each other because you grows up seeing bites and it's unstable. I actually think in those cases, maybe it's better for the parents to co, parent, but separately in household. I just kind wanted to get your take on that. It's a really interesting question about, you know, who does monogamy serve. We know that it's hard for women. We know that it's hard for women as it is for men in might even harder for women. A lot of anthropologists believe that monogamy is pretty new, maybe ten thousand years old and it's a compromise, and it's a compromise that children win because they get this thing called by parental care, right to people caring for them where row read before ten thousand years ago, the new science is telling us that we'd most likely evolved as cooperative breeders hat means. We lived in these kind of loose rangy bands and. We had multiple sexual partners, and we raised our children cooperatively. That's what cooperative breeding means. And so what happened ten thousand years ago when we broke down into a unit which is called a die at or a pair. What happened was we made it harder to raise children and we kinda swerved from the evolutionary script that sort of made child rearing easier. And so we find ourselves in this place now and when people say that monogamy is natural or that it's the best thing. All I can think of the way that I view the world is it's only ten thousand years old, and we're still trying to get used to it and it's hard for us. I just don't get why there has to be one right thing. I think everyone's different, but I think to to make a blanket statement that monogamy is right for everyone is is closed minded. It is. Is pretty close minded and what's really happening right now is that people are unsatisfied with it, an acting on it in new ways and not just people your age, not just the people in the pollyanna. Remove -ment that I spoke to not just swingers that I spoke to not just people who are into consensual non monogamy. People across the country seem to be very interested in alternatives. There's a sex researcher Namie Moore's and to did the study for a ten year period between about two thousand six and two thousand fifteen. She looked at people's internet searches for terms related to poly-amorous, open relationship consensual non monogamy. And she found that over that ten year period, there was a dramatic uptick across the country, not just LA in New York, not just in big cities, but everywhere in America people were really interested in these terms. So what I like to say is, okay and two thousand. Thirteen over ninety percent of Americans told Gallup poll pollsters that they thought that infidelity was always wrong at the same time. Could our internet searches look at the TV shows that we like right? Like big love. You know, unicorn, land, all the shows about poly-amorous. Look at the shows. We'll look at the books for reading the ethical slut is a really popular book. Esther paroles works on infidelity really Publio Americans might say, they think that monogamy is the best way, but they're very curious about their options and things are changing..
"esther parole" Discussed on WNYC 93.9 FM
"President. Trump is, traveling, the, country and, supportive Republican candidates it's Friday August third I'm David. I and this is all things considered on WNYC The. President is. Back in campaign mode with rallies, that central around many familiar grievances whatever happened to fair press whatever happened to honest reporting we'll have more on Trump's strategy for. The midterms plus the results of sim, Bob ways presidential election were announced last night. And, since then it has been. A turbulent time for the crass will look at what. Has unfolded, in. The, past few, days so stories just ahead right after news headlines Live from. NPR news in Washington I'm Janine herbs the first week of former Trump campaign chairman Paul manafort's trial has drawn to a close as NPR's Ryan Lucas reports today's testimony dove deep into manafort's alleged tax and Bank fraud with. Testimony from, his tax accountants manafort's former tax accountant Cindy La Porta has testified that manafort's one time. Deputy Rick gates, backdated loan agreements to reduce manafort's taxable income, she says Manafort. Signed documents related to the loans the government presented the jury with those documents as. Well as Email sent, by Manafort and gates showing their. Roles in the loans LaPorta who was granted immunity. To testify says she knew. At the. Time the information was false she, says she regrets going along with the scheme Manafort faces eighteen counts of Bank and tax fraud his trial resumes Monday with the. Cross examination of LaPorta, Ryan Lucas NPR, news Audible the spoken word division of Amazon, has laid off its entire podcast staff as NPR's Noto ulaby reports audible. Is currently, producing over a dozen original podcasts that dropped millions of listeners some of audibles most, popular podcasts include the, butterfly effect in which host Jon Ronson talks with people in the, porn industry I became curious what would their. Lives like, and Esther paroles relationship podcast where you. Hear real patients in therapy I was unfaithful to her for over a year last year to audibles top executive step down on Thursday it's podcasting staff of about a dozen employees were laid off with no warning according to. A former, employee speaking to NPR on background audible did not respond to a request for comment that. Its parent company, Amazon just posted its most profitable quarter ever, net NPR news The wife of a former marine has, been deported to Mexico after she exhausted, all of her appeals thirty nine year old Alejandro Horace lived in the US for twenty years without trouble. Until a traffic stop in Florida exposed her status her two daughters ages eight and sixteen are American citizens and her husband is a, naturalized citizen Florida congressman Darren Soto says her husband served in the military. While she stayed home with.
"esther parole" Discussed on Recode Decode
"Today's show is brought to you by hbo in a world of incessant data tracking one tech startup is working to create a brand new internet and that startup is pied piper it's a totally decentralized totally awesome and too good to be true network only on hbo silicon valley this tech could make the world a better place catch new episodes of silicon valley sundays at ten pm on hbo hi i'm karen swisher executive editor of recode you may know me as the best chef in the world is long as you only want peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and nothing else but in my spare time i talk tech and you're listening to rico decode from the box media podcast network today we're gonna play an interview i did back in march at south by southwest in austin texas this is the last of my interviews from this year's festival but we already published the others i did with valerie jarrett christiane amanpour esther parole and maria shriver with her daughter christina schwarzenegger make sure to go back and listen to those in case you miss them this interview is with celebrity chef jose andres who's been doing some great work with his nonprofit world central kitchen it is served millions of meals to the people of houston and puerto rico after last year's devastating hurricanes and jose has also been a vocal critic of president trump on the issue of immigration let's take a listen all right so there's so much to talk about and you said you just landed right then minutes ago ten minutes ago and then you're like i don't know why i'm here.
"esther parole" Discussed on Pantsuit Politics
"Um because we are on a tiny blue playing at heartily through an infinite universe which can be a little intimidating for a monkey brains liked to feel sense of control and so i think the way we exercise this as men and women are very very different um i think that women and this leads into the article i want to talk to talk about which is about emotional labour i think that women exercise that controlled by controlling themselves and giving of themselves because that's what we've been taught we should do and men exercise that control and they're vulnerable in in in response to their inherent owner put he's human beings by exercising control and other people so i think it's like an external focus of control because we tell men to take and we tell women to give so you know in this i introduced due to the esther parole show because my friend laura introduced me to the esther russia with their one episode which was fascinating because it was a lesbian couple which removes the sort of traditional gender breakdown in marriage conflicts and so you had one woman who felt like she was giving everything dr children she resented being asked for sex being resented being asked for sort of like anything from the other woman who was sort of the main provider in not the more um emotionally labourintensive partner a guy and she was really i loved what she said at one point because i was a state khomam primarily for several years and said uh what you really want to do at the end of the day's stay mild hamas connect with yourself not connect to somebody else.
"esther parole" Discussed on Pantsuit Politics
"Marriage and that made me think about this article to right because what is true what does it mean to be an relationship with each other wanted esther parole say she said that if this couple is able to overcome this it will be because they had a good marriage it will be because they had she said especially because they had a good sex life and she said you know the wife has the ability to understand that they had a good marriage that her experience was true and that he had this additional life that had nothing to do with her that it wasn't a reflection of their marriage that what was going on over to the side was not about her okay but here's the thing people have a six addiction or any kind of addiction because they have a source of deep pain or conflict and in what way could he compartmentalize the cause of the addiction in the same way that he compartmentalize the addiction itself in a way it would not affect this quote unquote perfect marriage like i just i don't believe i can dan i keep it those two pieces together so he had been abused as a child sexually and had not told his wife about that and so he was living a giant secret and i don't know what played out between them obviously throughout their marriage the other thing that a cerebral elsa though is but that he had to you now that he was coming to grips with his own pain and what caused him to do this he also had to come to grips with the fact that he had caused her enormous pain we can't just stop life and have a big pity party for you you have to understand that you inflicted this on her iq he's she was basically like it's always always always just been about you and if you want to move passes as be about both of you so i was thinking about that in relation to this article about japan right because what i rather find out that the person i've been married to has been hiding this entire life for me or that someone hired him to give me a beauty.