9 Episode results for "brett davis"

SPECIAL NY COMEDY FESTIVAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!

Dark Tank with Yedoye Travis

01:22 min | 10 months ago

SPECIAL NY COMEDY FESTIVAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!

"Era darton listeners. That started weird. Okay darting listeners. I got very exciting news for you. Dark tank is coming to this year's New York Comedy Festival. As right on Saturday November ninth at nine PM. We'll be recording live episode of dark tank as part of a big forever wherever dog day at Union Hall in Brooklyn. It's going to be a dope show. You got some very great comics of color tolerating some some white comics who are fine And they're very okay ideas. It's all racism. Sounds like a good Saturday night to me. You can buy tickets at forever. Dog podcast dot com slash live. That is forever dog. PODCASTS DOT com slash live. And while you're there be should get tickets to the other forever. Dog Shows at Union Hall on November ninth including iconography with debris and Olivia craighead podcast for for laundry with Brett Davis beneficial expert with Sydney Washington marine fostering and under culture with James a Domian plus seek culture at the iconic. Las Culturas uses seek treatment. Crossover Pied starring Matt. Rogers Bone Yang cat. Cohen and Pat Regan will be at another venue murmur in Brooklyn at eight. PM once again. And get your tickets for d'artagnan. All your other favorite forever. Doug shows at this year's New York comedy festival forever dog podcasts dot com slash live.

Union Hall Brooklyn New York Olivia craighead New York Brett Davis Pat Regan Las Culturas Doug Matt Cohen Sydney James
Reverse-Cast Unpopular Characters - Brett Davis Tries His Best

Dark Tank with Yedoye Travis

47:02 min | 10 months ago

Reverse-Cast Unpopular Characters - Brett Davis Tries His Best

"Forever Welcome to brain machine network DOT COM Bruin. Okay everybody hello. We're back in the studio. Welcome to another episode of Dark Dank your weekly reminder that I'm cool in you're not hey I'm your host Utah Louis Travis. It's good to be back here. We took a little hiatus For for a kind of A. I'm not even really sure how long it was just kind of on on and off and on and off again Because your boy is irresponsible and has a lot of other obligations in the world. Doing on a lot of doing too many podcasts. I'd say too many podcasts. I'm I'm here with my With my guests this afternoon to very funny. COMEDIANS Indians from New York City in New York City. They're based in New York City. We'll talk about where they're from after this break and Rebecca. Hey Laura Ramirez how you doing. Hey thanks for having me. Thank you for being here. How are you? I was doing really good today. Yeah Yeah that's great are you. I'm good. I'm pretty good at day yesterday where I didn't really talk anyone all day. What were you doing I was just kind of well. I was supposed to be writing but then I was. I was mostly playing smashed Rosenfield and I just found every video game in my house and I played it for a couple of minutes. Tenets wow I don't know how I did get your writing done no or you writing for A job yeah. Yeah my other podcasts What's your other podcasts podcast? It's a it's a show about anime for a for crunchy roll. Wow Yeah doing a lot. An anime content. You love anime. I love anime big anime fan every every black person does that. They won't tell you. Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah I know this unanimity fan. My brother was. Yeah Yeah you get him on the show probably. He's so funny. Yeah Yeah. He's the funniest person I know. Busy do comedy at all now. Oh May business you should tell them. Yeah I now would you do what do I do. Yeah I do comedy as a little joke we do sorry. I'm been dark. Tanked you've been DR tanked. He been tanked You any are you working on anything. Cool coming up what's going on in your Immortalize World I'm Music I made a music video. Premiering that that's very cool when as premier The circus We're GONNA do live premier and then a a music show Cherie at our wicked lady at seven thirty PM. Cra Do my monthly show with my friends in an amy That's On the twenty seven and then I'm taking my solo show to Minneapolis in November. And maybe some other places as a very exciting place Prince Prince from there been there have never been anywhere really so I'm excited to go. Yeah yeah that's going to be very fun. I've been wanting to go to Minneapolis for a long time and do shows out there. Cool like minutes. Oughta yeah waters of Lake Matt. Scott she pels get. It'll be great you're GONNA do Great are white for this episode. Hello Hey Brad Davis how you doing. It's on July. I'm sorry it's so bad yet. Yeah so I I didn't WanNA bring it up bring it up now. I'm actually doing fine. Now get into it now. There's nothing if you had if you had to. If you had a problem what Whoa to be I was going to bring up like Some tragedy or something. Yeah Yeah but actually no not do it. I have no tragedies to bring up. You have none. Laura's answer is so positive so on and to balance it out yeah we gotTA Balance Energy now. I feel like I feel we can do some positive some negative. Let's start with. What are you working on? What's going on what's going on in your life? Maybe we'll get into the bet stuff actually have no bad stuff. Nobody Wanna I mean there's always there's always bad stuff no no no no. That's okay okay now that stuff since we're GONNA leaguer. Nah I I don't know what am I doing this a anime podcast for crunchy roll. Okay that's cool gray. That's that's mostly. Tell me about anime. I was was avoid so miles ashamed. Yesterday says playing video games. Oh Yeah Yeah you think you're cute. You think what you're doing now is cute. I don't know Laura Louis that's that's Listen to this. What is this new direction? He's got one I just saw good. I had a Show on Sunday. Does that culmination of many years of stealing someone's name yeah nation. Yeah I did a show called Macaulay Culkin's show for years and years and we finally got him to appear on it. Yeah that's really setting how the show was good advice up pictures of everything shows not in it. Looks like a great time Outed had mccully. I feel weird to say in his first name. We call him Mac you call him at a weekend column. Okay okay okay. I'm not there on that Willie there yet so like he enjoyed the show. He had a good time he was he was in a bunch of bits and he was assist hanging out. That's good spirits. What is he up to now is he? Like does he have anything going. On in his He's working on a podcast rate now for crunchy role. Can we bring somebody else onto this. Can we animate. Oh Yeah what Ah name an animal student show about skurdal deep dive. I really hate having a podcast by really. Don't like it at all so many I I have to another one It's just the two. Oh it's just the two but it's too many I feel like it's a lot of time commitment in a lot of animator watch. What's your favorite anime men? I don't know it's a IT'S A. It's a something I'm not too familiar with. Oh Oh yeah I guess so you just start off cold with his podcast. You are like me as ocoee movies. So Yeah Yeah Yeah Miyazaki. But that's the most famous. Yeah Ah that's like saying later. My favorite band is Beatles is gingy Ito anime. No that's Manga right. I have no among is like the. That's like the It's like the precursor to a lot of anime so it broke. Rally is so jen. Gee He does like that horror. He's like he makes horror comics and then they make movies out of them. Yeah I mean if they make movies are they animated movies now but they're like live action but they're fucked up there's one called the spiral. Oh it's so fucking good yeah people just like twist into these spirals it's amazing. They're really making every time you do things we we lose. You like Games podcasts. Yeah they just leave this. What endoscope straight over to crunchy roll? It's really good. Anyone can do the like like resting Pika Chew but you do action pick anybody and do the basic well. Yeah Yeah I should learn more. You should now we should you know what's Pika Chew like having like a nice snack peak at okay. That's just human lip. Sounds though he has human lips didn't use it when they close up may do that Ren and stimpy close up on him. He's got a beautiful woman lips. Oh Yeah Yeah I do remember them. So my peak achieve body pillow has human lives. Yeah it's good now wear though Oh top and bottom and the back and the back of course you gotta get three just three lips or three sets ellipse three sets of lips. Okay okay with Z.. Y. needed clarification. Yeah right yeah so I maybe we should go ahead and get into this thing This whole this whole thing So I had a I had a weird thing today. My Dad doesn't really talk to me. He just is kind of communicates through suspicious on facebook and senator Sudan if you're out there if you're listening to the show you just call me. I'm not really on facebook that much anymore. So you could just call today and I saw this This thing you sent But you know just shoot me a techs next time But he he sent me a video that posed a I guess a moral quandary. Then I think a lot of black people have to face in their daily lives and I'm sure I'm sure you guys have dealt with About whether or not to use the N. word read. I'm sure sure Every day every day has question many times a day no Okay so so confirmation. I appreciate that and know that was joking. You joke easy to say no. No no I heard Brad say Middle Guy. Yeah okay You know I have the I have that problem my brother says it. Oh Yeah Yeah. But he's darker skin than me okay and are mixed so maybe you shouldn't do income. Wait are you mixed with a mixed with black okay okay. So that's what but because I'm light skinned I don't WanNa say it. That is understandable. Hannibal and I think a lot of A lot of people choose whether or not to say based on like just how they see themselves in the world and I think that's fine Brad on the other hand I appreciate your honesty. You should probably chill. My overall rule is Never say it on unless it's like a you so you need to say for some clinical purpose. We had. What a white person here that you know says it Um No really no actually you shit. I've thought about it. I can't decide if I want this podcast to be like Deliberately inflammatory or if I just I wanted to be like I mean to have this. You know a real conversation with someone may sway them. Yeah I just don't want like I'm not asking everyone now that you're here do presence here so I never heard breadth of your make a case for why you should say I do appreciate that now. I don't I don't I don't and have a the argument for that but just like if we wanted to do it like high school debates value take stands that you don't believe in if you had to make a case for why you should say the N. word ooh This feels like a trap. It is but all follow us because it feels 'cause fields because it's because it's a 'cause it's a song and it comes up on the Karaoke and you thought it would be flipped out okay. That's yeah you're not thinking. I think that's a that's acceptable. Well if you're so into the song you're singing into a screen you just like just Trinidad James is on and just you know everybody knows I one song you know Senate Dolgov would is the type of but if a wine in fact I feel like I feel like she does it after a wine but she liked uses the wine as an excuse like she was already planning on saying it and then she's like I got my wine I it's like talks wine cameo. She's what Cameo is Kim. You cameos at thing where like celebrities are on and you could send them money to say whatever whatever you want. Yeah Yeah we make her say. Yeah a map. I can download E it's on. It's just a website. Oh my God can yeah. I think she's on much money as she. She's like thirty bucks or something. Oh Dude I wanNA make her I want to host this show called the the nigger show and I wanna put her and I just WanNa like thirty dollars you pay for a cameo every week and then put it out as a podcast best great. That'd be great idea like Patriot content. That'd be great But no I did I did. I did a show a a few months ago where they did that. They had her Read off the lineup and nothing and hearing her say my name was one of the most jarring. Things insist that I've ever experienced in my eyes. Ahah right yeah really deeply uncomfortable. Because she's black all right and that's our show American artists activists author. Rachel Dole. Zoll book now for fifty dollars. Price is fifty in one day. Wow Wow wow. She's waiting for your call. Maggie price did go up. Yeah it's probably people are telling her to say bad things or something. Yeah yeah probably something like that another twenty if you want me to say the F. Word got us the fuck that one happy so on into payer fifty dollars a week and then put out a podcast. or It's you and her hosting. Yeah it'd be great to like record half a podcast and just have her just respond to it for thirty dollars so anyway. This video My Dad sent it addresses what we are talking about. It's by you guys. Remember Afro Man Yeah He apparently does not believe leave. You should say the N.. Word and so he made this is. What's up Mikka? Mega Mega Mega Mega Mega Mega Mega Mega. Uh Hey man. Don't call me. That wow what are you want me to. They don't call me Anwar. Yeah uh-huh for North Eighty third to taste top is the word. The word is traced Sunderland word. The now we know Spanish word Mr Mousy -ation occurred and there was the birth of the word Baba Zine hundred it was firmly established into rock to arena. Shame in it remains. It is within no matter who's using it abused in it in the lose the melting pot of soup racial slurs from all ethnic groups in were mistrust mistrusts rape humiliation total senate. He said what do you say rape idea. I believe he did And I feel like for anyone listening you should i. I should know He's at he's like. This is shot like parties where he's just surrounded by white people. Yeah it looks like you went to a Frat. It looks like you went to Joe. Hold hold the hold this camera. I'm going to shoot a music video right now. They don't know the words. I am just I look first of all. You could have tweeted this. It could have been a tweet and I feel like They probably has a lot of time on his hands. He probably does have a lot of time on his hands. And I you know what I do. Appreciate that he He did this right off. The heels of punching a white lady in the face on stage I think that's very fun you guys remember when that happened to know he punched a white lady. Yeah she Mets cool though yes she crept up behind him on stage. I guess like was dancing or something behind. He got scared. Yeah G. Any turned and punched her. which honestly who's to say wait? said she got on stage while he was performing I mean it's like you shouldn't do that. You shouldn't do that now. You shouldn't do that. Earl sweatshirt has done the same thing too. I guess a wicked dude Y but we'll have to stop getting on stop stops sneaking up on black people. Yeah it's fair. I feel like general rule of thumb. Don't sneak up on black people but I just it just seems like a strong way to start sort of video about not saying the N.. Word is to let me just Just to refresh everybody's number eight. Just Mega Mega Mega Mega Mega Mega Mega Man. I don't know if y'all forgot this. That happened. Just seems like like a weird way to start to like say a bunch of times and then say go. Maybe don't do that to me. I mean I I get it. That's fine violent beginning. It is a violent beginning but also like I don't know I understand where you're coming from but I also like look through the comments and it's of course just like a bunch of white. Why people agreeing with him? And you know I feel like the second Ma majority of white people agree with me on anything. I like Sorta to go back and just reassess my opinions. I mean I don't know this is is I don't know he post. He sent me. This today is from about a month ago. It says in the state of the facebook video. Oh Wow yeah I I just feel like we. We established black. People are saying Nigga. No Yeah I mean saying it yet. They've been yeah you guys say it. I don't jail was covered already. I remember when I decided not to but I have tried. Yeah Yeah I have tried ride and it fell not natural. Yeah but the moment that I decided not to it was in Middle School in Miami and a lot of people were saying it. A high school Miami that some Middle School in Miami and there is this other mixed girl Gabriella and I'll never. I'll never forget this moment. She was far away from me And she was in this group of girls like the popular girls and she was trying to be popular and I was a freak so I was like just staring at them and I remember her saying it to herself so that she could say it to them Like my n word and and it looks over so yeah rehearsing and I was like and then later would see her saying hang at you know Just more and I was like I'll never forget that and I will never do that. And that's when I decided. Yeah Yeah Yeah I feel like if you yeah if you have to rehearse any word is probably not a word for you The whole word of the day thing always bothered me for that reason Mike. Sure sure learn a word but let let creep into your vocabulary. Organically what he doing. Yeah yeah I I if I differ on the word of the day argument but I know that Snow over here talk about right. We're talking about the N. Word which you've firmly established that ease what I thought. I thought you mentioned that it was a joke but I mean just just to make things change just to make sure I don't know if it's that clear when industry never heard you not say the N. Word so say never heard distrup- it casually and I'm I'm not Unaware of it. Yeah have I said it during the course of the show comes on time. Yeah the video was playing with little whisper. I feel like you were just a little aggressive. The Yeah Yeah. I'm so I'm so sorry I just gotTa work on that. Yeah Yeah you should really like look into Your behavior moves around people of Color Cheese Ham. Sorry notes I appreciate that you wore all white to this. Do appreciate that yeah. It's a shirt not like a medicine. There's there's a hat also had two black Pants or black interesting. It was a message. Yes the Unity Messager unity between who lacks weights. How about the other people? It's all in between it's for another. We're not covering that today. You can only make one major statement with your clothes Reyat course I mean you. Pit like socks Brown socks deal. Color your socks or no gray gray gray or white white bread. I feel like we've gotten off on the wrong foot. No I feel like we really started In a weird place and I I I'd like to Reset Brett If I had to ask you What it what we're doing about all this racism in the world There's a lot going on. You know it still exists What are you what? What are we doing to solve it? You know 'cause I feel like we I feel like we're asking all the wrong questions. Were looking to the wrong things. I feel like black. People not saying the N.. Word is not really a solution. And so I think it only makes sense for me to turn to you A white man for real real tangible solutions to real tangible problems. So what do we do well in the name of Dark Tanka a it did come up with the you know I. I can't solve it. I don't think it's it's up to awaken. No you have to let the whole show always you have to solve it. I want I think I think I can address it head on and may be lit the spark that will eventually maybe grow to a larger fire. Here we have like forty minutes like how is there not enough time. I think it's enough time to solve racism. I L let me like just try. I'm just you know it's like doesn't have to be perfect but we can work out the kinks and I'll I'll just give it my best shot. Yeah you know I'm always seeing these things online Most recently with like Little Mermaid James Bond but but it always seems to pop up that there. Are you know More diverse castings for traditionally by characters right rank and in some people especially astles on the Internet. They they start start out in their life. Walking out of racism thing is just how I knew the character. But it's pretty much a racist thing So I want some sort of cannon fodder for the other side of that argument so what I WANNA do is I want to create a movie studio make real low budget movies. Churn them out like like the full like cannon style. If you know that that that movie company they were just making movies like once a month that Canon with one or two thing to end sue. Sudan's yeah they didn't really bad superman one okay got better And and what I want to do is I want to take a characters set Or are already not wait. That people don't want and make white versions of those characters. I apologize for yelling at you. Do you WANNA go again The same different. Thank you do the same. Do the same again too so yeah yet so throughout history. I'll I'll do it from the other side. I yeah. Of course history. There have been The characters that have always been appreciated by the communities that they are supposedly representing thing. So I wanNA take those characters and and moved them and make them wait and then when people are like oh either Salva. He can't be James Bond. Someone could argue. Well no no. We got midday. It's a fair trade. They've made about the same amount of movies and stage place. I WANNA come those. I appreciate you Meeting yourself just just to and clear I also think it's This is only kind is Kinda SANTEUIL but I I. I've heard a lot of white people call. Call her MEDAGLIA PADEAS Sir. Medea is the the Greek gods name is Monday right or the right okay. I've been studying being in Greek literature right by writing course of course. Here's your hair. What is my day actually do in like Bo myth and the mythology? Oh God of Famine yeah is that true. Yes I'M GONNA go ahead and we're just gonNa Google that just but but like now we can have like a black Zena because you know there. There's going to be also. It's like a tradeoff laid off. Okay okay so where were they the white mcadoo. If if that's what a people I mean I guess there already is a White Madera Mrs Doubtfire Mrs Doubtfire and also Madina the actual ramp. Well I got actually you the Mrs Dow who it is and now we. We just have Tyler Perry. I'd argue that Mrs Doubtfire is a is just a single father doing whatever it can connect to connect connect with his way or no. No no no. That's white big Momma's house. I'm still confused. That's correct actually. Yeah so that's taken care of the trade back big Mama. Our company's GonNa take these unwanted properties and just churn out the stuff way unwanted properties reasoning We'll have a committee you know I would define the term unwanted properties. Well let's say Our Community Eh Committee says my no. We don't need big Momma's house. We want to have like a wolverine of color. So we'll do the job and take take a take those properties that they don't want like a big Momma's house and we'll have like a white big momma's house already. Lying is back. Welcome back into the fold First of all big Momma's house classic Yakking. Big Momma's house two. Yeah I three players and seventy rifles. You haven't equals. Yeah the one with his son now the the first one is with his son. Okay Nathan. It's been a while. Yeah I guess they all our habits I don't I'll have to look at but okay so we'll we'll go the fundamental missile part of your plan. We'll take any of these. You lied characters that Martin Lawrence has done that and make sure and make those carry out white But he's still Martin Lawrence. It's in the movies. I mean those movies are still getting sister posterity. But you know we'll we'll do. These trades and our goal is not to make the biggest movie. We WanNa make the most movies okay. So we're just making a lot of movies and this plan okay. So if I'm not mistaken. Yes we're we'RE GONNA TAKE WE'RE GONNA take every black movie or we're GonNa take just just the ones that people the ones that haven't aged well so okay so you guys can take like biker boys with Teresa Warrants Fishburne. No cap and you can take was at one Christmas movie with these young fly You guys can have that okay and and you can have Non Every other black movie is great ourselves to that Just a traditionally black movies. We'll take these characters that were may be shoehorned in or or were just tokenism characters And and we'll we'll take those characters in the reboots. Those characters are portrayed by a white person. Okay Okay so wait now are we doing spinoffs with yes. Huge as doing full spin offs with just the token characters of but their way but they're white. Yeah so like like why Apu. Yeah we'll do away to Yeah y'all you're already have a voice actor for that perfect honestly up. This is his chance. This is his redemption. Yeah yeah so does the same breakout again. It does do the voice in mystery man does he too. Yeah Donaldson's have seen that movie. He's in so many movies and I. I didn't know that was him. Yeah different face obviously. Now he's the only personnel to just ingest Did he apologize publicly. Oh Yeah Oh wait. Yeah he did and then. He said he wouldn't stop doing doing. It is a no. He said Somebody brought up a good point. I think he has stopped right. There's just like someone. Is it someone someone else now. I'd have MS relations to nap at a he. He he was like. Yeah oh I don't know just be reruns or something or learn. If there's a new there might be a new person okay now. I didn't know that they were doing that though. That'd be cool. If they had the new person redouble the old episodes roads employed for the rest of their life. Exactly yeah be cool. We could bring him just as an EP on it and he can distance himself. Yeah but Jamie Kennedy. UNROLL or something something like that. David Arquette as Abu. I really hate that. I started this this show. I really deeply regret it. And I'm and I think the fact that it still is going despite that Just makes my in my life worse by the day. Yes so what do you have to say about that Sorry other episodes of lived up to this one. So just as white people in doing black roles You know I think I you know white Dolemite I don't well we gotta wait. We gotta see how that Eddie Murphy. The netflix old dolemite. Well sure yeah. The old Dole Mayan call it. Something like Amethyst or something. I don't know who is who is the WHO would be a good weight. DOLEMITE good white dolemite bad comedian John C Reilly Ninety minutes. AM after bad comedian. He's very funny. WE'LL GET BIG J. O.. Kherson the new way dull of dolomite. Yeah Yeah Big J. Honestly he's been looking for via Jalen. Might Yeah you it might sound like what Okay so what would be your dream movie till like Redo as a as a white movie. Well you know this is where the committee comes. Listen I'm asking your opinion This is your idea. Well Probably Birth of a nation. That would be hard a mobile epic. All the roles are switched. Apologize for Yelling at you. Sorry a very white movie Andy something like more modern like I don't know like Like Black Panther. Would you redo Black Panther. Well you know that's if Any of these characters people look back at Black Panther and say oh that character was a little was a little not great. How would you Redo Black Panther? We wouldn't Redo by historian class. Or scribe it wouldn't it wouldn't touch it but if you had you a high school debate roles icicle debate rules. had to change Black Panther for the wider So we're recasting black. The recasting Black Panther awake cat yes. That's what I'm asking you. How would you knew it okay? Let's start at the top but STU let's go shall is GonNa be the The guy from sons of anarchy blond guy. I don't know his name Sherri's stories going to be The the Blonde Girl From Big Bang theory Who Kelly quote? Yeah Klay We're GONNA get like Heather locklear Seemed a little dated. Don't you well. This is still at means this. Circum Yeah you know she could be Let's roll the graphics of the Yeah his kill monger. ooh We need a real powerhouse. Our House Danny Devito the taking your own. What's up on T.? We just put him on an apple box. He's regular in this movie. Yeah Car Her who who. Else Forest whittaker that could be like Zuri Yes zuri could be Kevin in James Great Perfect Do you guys remember all these out comics. Right yeah I mean I. I just liked that movie very very good move. I don't remember anyone's name in any movie or anybody. His full name celebrity wise except for Timothy Shalmi Timothy Hammett Timothy Shalam. Who would you cast as What's the what's the one white dude's name Martin? Freeman me Martin Freeman. What is his But his his character. Forget the guy's name all the time. It's just like good wake like yeah so we need somebody like funny. You need a good black guy so if you had to cast someone is a good black guy. Who would you cast chucky ducky quack quack? Checky now the person Chucky ducky now it's been it's been a while since we've seen him could be one of those kind of Tarantino Keno asks like just like Oh yeah great all right so we. I mean. We're working with the budget here. We have to understand of course course of court see. You're going to get heather locklear here. Just blow out your whole budget on Heather locklear And Danny Devito. Yeah and then and then just go straight to Shuki Duck. I Dunno it is asking prices. So you know. We'll see how the cards fall. When we're we're doing the budgeting but maybe you could get Bill Cosby or something new bill. Koch's he'd be like super cheap right now. Yeah Yeah he could play To Chaka. Oh yeah it'd be like Ghost Dad too. Yeah I guess he already did go stat one. Yeah I'm I'm GonNa say that's the one that's the one role we don't reverse cast. Oh that's the only one. Yeah Betsy he is still to Chaka. When I'm just I'M GONNA say he's? He's going to be the only African playing an African roll right right right. We're winning shows taking so when he shows up but the spirit plane he's going to be very confused. Yeah and that's something we just bring a green screen into the prison. Set it up and write ray of bang booms meal. Well now turns out when you die. You're black we're just taking him. He's GonNa be a franchise player. We're GONNA put out a bunch of cosby movies. We're releasing all plays sucks companies really that we're not trying to make art. We're trying to provide counter argument for you. Know these these assholes that are like other. You know there can't be a you know. Miles Morales is going to be Peter Parker right and to end in order to counteract that You just re re jumpstarting bill cosby's career again that's your okay Works for jeep. So I gotta say I'm out I think I'm out okay. And what do you think and you in okay. Yeah aren't GonNa make a Lotta money from this. You're probably right you're probably you're okay All of these over the top streaming sites. They're paying for the licensing so you know they just one content two right right right of course of course we will see these familiar if you had to pick a streaming platforms. Where would you go probably crunchy roll so down it actually when my gravity contact info before slee? Yeah I'll let me give you my card okay. So okay so your plan is your plan to solve races of mind you is to restart bill. Bill Cosby's career with an anime remake of fat Albert and the Kospi kits. Were going to or I am not saying look cruncher will must have puts out enemy. We're just GONNA get we're GONNA do Flash. It's GonNa look like homeowner it's but it's animated. Yeah that's intimate. Okay technically Scher. You know stitch just the Japanese worker animation fair enough. Yeah so yeah. We'll we'll do a fat Albert. Yeah yeah okay honestly really interesting Take on the whole subject work no just a resounding resounding no okay but I feel like I'm not totally off the table yet is there are any character that may be growing up like this sucks like I don't think this character represents me and never thought like that when I was little I was like. TV is a great but what about like growing up. Like you know you're now you're an adult and you look back and say Oh God that character is just to Just broad stroke On all like all the Latin maids inca lot of maids. Yeah but then it's also so funny like I'm like fuck but I remember reading an article about this woman who was like. She can't get any role except for Latin mayoral. Now like that sucks. But also that's fucking funny is hilarious. So we'll put out at Spanish language movies for the made as white. Wow Okay and then it's late and everyone else Giora Seniora and like like the they're just like would learn learn Spanish They're going to be bad. Yeah that sounds great. Yeah yeah they're like deliberately bad. I think they're just deliberately shoddy okay. I'm not casting for the best right. You're discussing for sheep she predominant Mohmed. Okay all right. So to sum it up and may remake That Albert and the Cosby kids streaming streaming now reggie role As part of my upcoming podcasts Amin America on eventual with an all white cast. Of course all the characters were white. But they're all the characters are white. Smoke Bill Okay yes so I yeah I gotta say I'm out okay. Laurel I wou if you had to invest anything idea what would you say invest. Yeah just ending. I think it's an amazing idea and I will give all my money to link you a real American American dollars. Yeah all of my American and my pistols and me Besiktas. Wow well look sounds like you got yourself begrudgingly deal I did it. Yeah do do you feel good about what you've done I do. I'm so solved it. Well this has been the last ever episode of Dark Tank. podcast cast with your guests Laurel Ira Ramirez and Tom and Brett Davis well. This is the first one. We're putting out Where can everybody find you on the Internet guys? I'm I'm at pile of tears and then at pile of tears underscore art sealer show. It's really great. If you're in Minneapolis. Minneapolis sear show in Minneapolis. And then I I'm at Brett Davis. Rip Is that on twitter instagram. That's across the board breath. Dave is dying or Ip Fraud Platform. Yeah Elia proud of you keeping it since brand system okay well. I'm pro at professor on everything. instagram twitter all that stuff Got My podcast out. Crunchy roll Anime in America ooh and And a nice little Cosby kids remake income. ANCHO And I'll be at the ABI. It laughs comedy club in Seattle September. Sixty seven But this is the funniest thing that I'm ever GonNa do so I guess don't even worry about that Thank you guys has. There's been an episode of of Dr Tank keep it locked. Keep it loaded lookout for the. Aw I'm so happy. This is over now the N.. Word Hey catch US next week. This has been a production of forever in the brain. Does she executive produced by Brett Bowen Joselito. Late and Alex Ramsey for more original podcasts. Visit Forever Dog podcasts. Dot Com and subscriber shows on Apple. PODCASTS spotify forever. In get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest forever dog news by following us on twitter and Instagram at forever dog team and making our page on.

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Snacktime: Diablo and Classic Culkin

Endless Thread

19:55 min | 1 year ago

Snacktime: Diablo and Classic Culkin

"The endless thread is sponsored by express v._p._n. Offering protection from cyber criminals with just a click enjoy the internet without being snooped on or having personal personal data stolen protector online activity today and find out how you can get three months free with a one year package at express v._p._n. Dot com slash thread thread. That's e. x. P. r. e. s. s. v._p._n. Dot com slash thread produced by the i lab at w._b._z. Boston can you hear my bag. Take quite loudly. Yes all right. Welcome to endless thread snack time where we kick back freaking snack and tell each other stories we find on reddit in-between a regular hard core core e._t. Episodes ameri. I got a little snack for you. You you do yeah okay already. Are you a metal head no well. This'll be interesting then so i want you to listen to this song and tell me when it came out nineteen seventy okay well this to me would suggest maybe a slight light lack of metal fluency. That's because listening to this song. I mean this is the thing you're not entirely wrong long at least according to mysterious posts on the internet but most people would listen to this song and say this song came out after nineteen eighty-five and supposedly the song that we just heard a little bit of came out in nineteen seventy three and this is weird and kind of crazy because you and i probably know <hes> much more from the nineteen seventies kind of proto metal that sounds announce a lot more like this kid <music> that was black sabbath into the void oy that's on came out. I believe in nineteen seventy one. Maybe so this is what's weird. I'm i'm gonna read you this comment and this comes from the r._b._i. Or read it bureau of investigation sub reddit community. The comments has a came across the song awhile ago and searched around the internet attempting to find its source course it doesn't come up whenever i use services like shem and when i look up the name of the band and the supposed name of the demo it only leads to links links to youtube videos a last f._m. Page which includes the following description one of the first metal bands from the philippines. I guess the band is called. Diablo formed sometime in the early nineteen seventies and often regarded as forgotten godfathers of the metal genre genre formed by young cult fanatics morrison who cheetah eldridge yokoyama who they released one known demo. Oh called hooligans sumba in nineteen seventy-five played a few shocking gigs before vanishing into obscurity some say <hes> <hes> that <hes> one of these people was arrested and sentenced to life in prison in one thousand nine hundred eighty one thousand nine hundred eighty two for killing three people and critically wounding eight others. There's at a bar oh my god. The last known lineup of this band is ben diablo on vocals k. Hey which seemed appropriate now once i found this story jesus callen say on guitar massias guitar our bang kay on bass in meta limb nah langat on drums. I can't find any resources. This is on the internet to corroborate. This music in question is surely not from nineteen seventy-three unless the band was unbelievably ahead of their time. This is like unsolved but a lot of users point to some interesting things first of all there are a lot of metal bands that kind of makeup this mythology about themselves right so and so kill the guy so metal medal right and there's apparently a few different versions of this story if you dig around online including the murder part which suggests maybe it's not true <hes> so maybe it's like a weird kind of marketing campaign or something another person points out that it looks like the first mentions of this band band on the internet or from twenty twelve in that this is right around the same time that this movie about the band death from detroit at enough you've ever never heard of that. Band band game advent this ban death from detroit. <hes> had this movie come out about them. They became more widely known as kind of like a inventing genres of music back decades before they were actually things. Nobody was making music like that. In seventy three black brothers from detroit michigan and so the makes one commenter think there's a good possibility of someone hearing about <hes> the death story or seeing that movie and then trying to recreate needed as a hoax with a filipino mellow metal band so that's one possibility just to play diablo's advocate as it were another person on this past. A red editor named vampire queen despair appropriate in yet. Yeah says i wouldn't immediately discount it being real just because it accidentally invented the genre if it is seventies detroit punk band death did that too so it's not unheard of to be so early to the party that it screws you over. It's not likely but don't assume that that makes makes it impossible in just a second example of this this rhetoric comments of like i accidentally invented genre the band crow crow magnin accidentally invented old school industrial music back in nineteen sixty nine with apparently a song or record called caledonia <hes> much as i would like it to be a very clever marketing scheme. I think it's only in hindsight when you go back and listen to an album bomb a decade or two later that you say wow. This person was really ahead of their time musically yeah that's fair i mean i like you want it to be a marketing getting hoax. You don't really want. I wanted to be real yeah. I wanted to be real but i i am admittedly delighted at the ways. People use the internet internet in ways that i just would never think to do so i do and i don't okay well. I guess you know listeners. Let us know where you think think wended that band music actually come out and do you believe the possibility that this filipino ban invented metal before metal was metal diablo diablo emory today. I learned that you don't have a super a clear understanding of what a v._p._n. Is correct you know what it stands for vanquish posers to the nether world well if by posers you mean cyber criminals. Yes yes virtual. Private networks do a lot of things and express v._p._n. Secures an anonymous your internet browsing by encrypting your data and hiding your public i._p. Address i p just getting seriously though express v._p._n. Protection takes just one click to turn on. Can you can even use it while you're surfing public wifi and it costs less than seven bucks rouge month. Protect your activity today for a year starting with three months. Free go to express v._p._n. Dot com slash thread that is e. X. p. r. e. s. v. p. n. Dot com slash thread. Wanna learn more say with me express v._p._n. Dot com slash thread happy anonymous browsing fellow nerds so then. I have a snack for you. Okay i was homesick. Yesterday i was he's home alone in fact which has to do with my store being macaulay culkin's story is going to be a macaulay culkin's love it. It keeps so this post actually comes from these standup comedy sub read it. We just hilarious because stand up comedy as we know is my nightmare. <hes> this was posted by user who goes by buttons bows with z's at the end very hanging buttons bows yes okay and the post reads beginning in twenty thirteen comedians brett davis and sally burton nick have hosted a monthly simply old comedy showcase titled the macaulay culkin show now ben this. This show has nothing to do with macaulay culkin lookin says last night this happened okay so this is macaulay culkin coming on stage to randomly randomly the star trek next generation theme song. He comes out in a cloud of smoke. He's like parading around the stage kind of doing a little catwalk. He's wearing a shirt that says macaulay culkin with an arrow pointing up to his head and the audience is going crazy but it also brad davis and sally burton nick the hosts of this comedy showcase are going crazy because they're like oh my god it's macaulay culkin on our stage at the macaulay culkin's show and the audience is just losing their mind macaulay culkin and welcome to the macaulay culkin's show finally yeah. I can't believe it. It's epic music yeah the whole. The whole thing is pretty epic. They've been doing this show since two thousand thirteen so that's six years going strong. This was actually part of what they call. So <hes> the macaulay culkin's shows six annual summer comedy fest and it turns out i was on the big question that i wanted to know is did macaulay culkin just show show up unannounced this no way no way he told him well when you see brett davis and sally burton faces in the video they look shocked shocked like brett falls to his knees. He picks up sally and twirls around. Everyone is freaking out. <hes> i reached out to brett davis it turns out that they had actually had this in the works for almost a year trying to talk and so this has been a surprise to some people in the audience but it was not a surprise to them as delighted sounded. I like this because they played the long game. Yeah yeah like they're like listen. We'll just keep doing it and eventually it's going to get back to them and maybe he'll show up yeah and this is exactly the type of thing that macaulay culkin for anyone who has been following doing his work lately. This is so up his alley. It's up his alley to have a show named the macaulay culkin's show that has nothing to do with macaulay culkin but also like like for him to show up here is just perfectly macaulay culkin and i feel like last classic kalkin classic kalkin <hes> there was some great great comments on this post one why not read it or one why not said and now i'd like to invite you all to my alde comedy showcase titled the bill gates gave me a billion dollars show cased bill. You want to show up and make that happen. Someone else had something that i think is like really on point. This is always up. Dank trunks is their username. They say there's a line by a woman in madman in reference to a very rich very sophisticated yet very masculine man and his youth in which she says something to the effect of him behaving like a character in in his own novel. This is the only way i can express how i believe. Mr culkin is acting these days which is green. He's just i if if you have not been following him. I did a little bit of digging. He's been in a couple movies recently. A couple of t._v. Shows those kinds of things but he also raziq huge celebrity. You did not do any digging into google then. I was trying to find out what he's done recently and are you in the library out her okay. Let's just quiz you. Let's see if you are up on what macaulay culkin is up to these days. He's definitely not i haven't done. I haven't even looked at dirt. Let alone done some digging. Are you familiar with pizza underground. This sounds vaguely familiar autumn. Oh okay well because you didn't do your macaulay. Culkin research pizza underground is the pizza themed velvet underground a tribute band by macaulay culkin and recorded in his own house and have a little idea. I have a little sample here of one of the songs that they recorded in a medley. They turned these days into cheese days <music> she he this is why that one redder just nailed it and saying that like he's the star of his own movie he's he picks and chooses his projects so that they are just perfectly macaulay culkin and he can't be anyone but himself and i love. He's gotta keep a closer classic kalkin classic culkin. That's right all right. Also i wanna do a little bit of an update emery. Okay you may remember in our last snacktime episode. I told the story of this mysterious sound a camper heard in kind in the middle of new hampshire. I just wanna like shout a couple of the people who responded to us and we got an email from chelsea. Chelsea says hi there. I just listened to your podcast bit about the noise. In andover i live in new hampshire sure right on a small dam and that sounds a lot like the noise of water level adjustment being made they have large mechanical parts that squeal l. and grown and make the worst noises in the middle of the night. Sometimes it's like an elephant blowing a rusty trombone and by the way don't google rusty trombone unless you're not at work. I believe there is a dam in andover that could be the culprit. She says i'm sure you can contact one of the hundreds words of fisheries biologists in new hampshire to verify. Thank you chelsea chelsea thank you i am not yet in touch with <unk> a fishery but i did get in touch with the city of handover the town of andover i sent them the sound and they're super jazzed and they are trying to search out an answer for us so we may hear in a future episode from the town of andover. We also get a message about this weird sound on reddit. This is from a user named gio shwe d._o. Shula gio shua so this person says i i once <hes> in the the title of the messages or the subject is into the woods sound theory. I once spent an afternoon diving down. The rabbit hole hole of a phenomenon called the hum which reminds me a bit of the weird noise in the latest snacktime episode and this person links to <hes> some <hes> a video of this. I think it's up in canada. Ultimately the sound from this video was the noise of freight trains shunting which is apparently slowing slowing and changing direction so we responded more like wow this is cool. This could could be a whole episode in itself and gio showa got back and said. I started digging into it again. In some other internet people have called them skype guide trumpets or gabriel's trumpet for very revelations reasons which makes sense seeing that if my memory serves me right i stumbled across ask the stuff when i was reading about some doomsday cult as one does nice message joshua so either. It's it's gabriel's those trumpet or maybe it's someone making an adjustment on damn like a water level adjustment with the damn or maybe it's some elephants blowing on a rusty trump. I like that theory anyway. Listeners please give us all of your theories on that weird heavy metal band and and macaulay culkin. Give us all your theories on kalkin special thanks to brett davis sally burt nick and frank flaherty at the bell house for letting letting us use audio from the mccully kokin shows summer comedy fest. I only wish i had been in the audience to see mccauley's guest appearance but i hope the catch the show oh sometime okay. That's it for snack time this week. We'll be back next week with a full episode also by the way we got a message from somebody named jamie moody eh and jamie said can are slash stickers exchange club get a mention we are connected to our slash free stickers which just reached over thirty thousand subscribers route so if you're into sticker exchanges head over to stickers exchange club check it out and end. We'll talk to you next week.

macaulay culkin brett davis reddit Diablo ben diablo sally burton Boston detroit youtube andover Shula gio shua canada new hampshire editor murder google philippines gabriel
Brett Davis has never seen Jay and Silent Bob Reboot

Never Seen It

1:28:10 hr | 5 months ago

Brett Davis has never seen Jay and Silent Bob Reboot

"Serving in a world where every conversation is about what movie or TV show? You just see this is never seen it. Comedians rewriting famous movies and TV shows. They've never seen what is up everybody. Today's episode Brett Davis has never seen Jay and silent. Bob Reboot I'm here record the Intro Todd Sklar. I am not on this. He's not on this episode. He was just here hanging out. And so then we decided to do this intro. If you're listening to this right now when this episode comes out tonight we have a live show at the lyric theatre. We have Sara Schaefer. Solomon Giorgio Danny Jealous Dave Ross and a Gilchrist rob as people have been all over. Tv greedy from Todd. There will be at this show That's it lyric appearing at seven. Pm The day. This comes out which is Thursday march twelfth. So please come to that. Tickets are at lear. Ick IBERIAN DOT COM or Kyle dot com slash. Never seen it or you can google. You know what I mean so you tell. People were get tickets and you're just like they'll figure it out you can find please. Don't they always on twitter and an INSTAGRAM FOLSOM? Ronald people still use to wear both falls on instagram twitter. That's a riposte ticket links and if people come to the show tonight we can keep doing them. Not only in l. a. But other places We have one in Denver actually on the twentieth. That's a week in a day from when this comes out. Friday March twentieth. I won't be attached unless somebody wants to invite you. Denver but that's in Denver and lemon you can take us that Kyle. Dot Com slash. Never seen it. You can get that there and it's at the Denver comedy underground. It is Friday. I'm trying to really promote these. Like when people come to live shows because they're so fought off the best It is at the Denver comedy underground which is at Let me find the location. Irish snug You know what I changed my mind. I will get that show but Denver. That's Friday March twentieth. Come to that Now we've got a live show there and that's GonNa be so fun. Denver comedians doing it. That's like the best comedy scene in country right now is in Denver. So I'm excited for that and so come to that. It's eight o'clock on Friday March twentieth if you know people in la or Denver tone to come to live shows La Tonight Twelve Denver March twentieth. They go well. We send other places these numbers and they let us do them there and then we keep doing it. I like doing a live show So much but that's there. We go the twelfth in La. That's today the twentieth and Denver. I've been talking too long about it but I really want people to come out fall on instagram twitter. You can find the information they are. Kyle Dot com slash. Never seen it. I can't afford a domain just for the show so it's a sub domain of my domains are back They're cool and today's brought. Davis Davis has never seen Jay and silent Bob Reboot. I like when people do these. Very specific types of things especially a reboot of a movie. That also wasn't that long ago right really. I think it came out twenty nineteen but this is so fun. Pat Byrne also on your. He's so funny Brett you may know from the Special Without Brett Davis which was public access show in New York so so wonderful and he's just press one. He won the Andy Kaufman Award. He so funny so unique. He's never seen Jay and silent. Bob Reboot and I wanNA tell you. Brett wanted to write this. In the style of Kevin Smith. He worked so hard. And so it's important that you know this because you're like who would say these Kevin Smith would so he specifically wrote in the style of Kevin Smith like riding nineties movies with the vernacular and stuff like no homo and stuff like that that you don't really be able to say when the writing something anymore it's a loss cadence? It's for the better. What he's never seen Bob reboot and if you're still listening to this I'm GonNa make separate thing for this to introduce it but at the end of the episode way before this was ever a podcast when it was just a live show. I thought it could be a good idea for podcast in this. When I lived in Queens I had come over with some comedians and we recorded a sample episode of the podcast to try and send places to get this sort of like a pre pilot pilot where Brett had never seen dead pool. And so there's a bonus Brett Davis scene at the end of this where he's never seen deadpool. Alex plane that Again to put in a in in term right there but this is Brad Davis has never seen Jay and silent Bob Reboot. It's so fun. We're joined by Pat Byrne as well too great episode. You'RE GONNA love it come to live show tonight l. a? Come to live show in Denver on the twentieth And thank you very much. Enjoy it you ever talked to. People as their influences are sorry by me. My computer people ask you what your they're like. Comedy and mine are some stand ups but honestly a lot of if I'm being honest about the comedy stuff I laughed at the most growing up was looney tunes. Bugs bunny bugs bar. I love bugs bunny. I Love Marvin the Martian yet I love Daffy and then on Jackass. I watched jackass and I was like this at least made me think I could make comedy on my own. I hate anything that has to do with bodies or food jackass so it kind of just like cuts like the Stevo World of it ice age but watching them Skateboard in a loop. Sure and they meet. That made me think I could make stuff on my own. Say and then you know sometimes some stand ups and stuff but whenever you hear a comedian. I don't know if we're all like relatively the same age I think when you hear someone that I just was really into Carl and Lenny Bruce and prime and you're like what yeah when that weirds me. Oh it's like the musicians Jimi Hendrix. The cow is relevant to you and you understand there's influence and there's importance and stuff like that but nothing that they ever said. I'm just getting to the age. Where something George Carlin would have said could apply to my life and I was like sixteen. He's I saw him when I was in college and I think he is. As Cranky is my mom. Said he would be this. Chick set artless podcast. I think our court our interest separately. So we'll do this game involving my dad at the beginning and then we'll read the script and then we have a couple of other. We use those cards last game. I can't remember we did okay. And then we have a couple of games that we play And that's pretty much it. It's you know maybe our tops and we're good and go off the rails as much you want to go off the rails. The rails are are nonexistent. Grab grab instruments you want or grab grab one of these waters and take that xylophone if this is this thing for anything in. I'm trying to see where it would apply in this particular. And so then take anything you WANNA use for the whole podcasts. Not just the scene. Jingle Bells And so let's we aren't we're at the PUCK is we're doing it. This is never seen this podcast where I have comedians rewrite famous movies and TV shows. They've never seen before today in studio having never seen Jay and silent Bob the reboot particularly Johnson of reboot. Jay and silent Bob Reboot his Davis. Thanks for being here my pleasure. We're also join a student here right. Pat Byrne they haven't seen it either. You haven't seen yeah it'd be just come out just yet. It's pretty reason I mean it's it's easy to say we haven't seen it because it's out in theaters now. An Oscar screener sort of. It'd be fun if you made a movie like this. That you know isn't going to be if you put up Oscar Screener watermarks in your actual movie show in the theaters and stuff like that and it just says like this is not meant to be shared around. I just what parasite yesterday and those are invasive and take you out of a movie especially one with subtitles right. It's weird when they of your name on this. They made this movie for Bret God. It doesn't feel like it. We're also here in studio with our producer Rebecca Steinberg. She's here she has seen movies. So it comes in handy. Henry I have not. I have not loved Kevin Smith as a human being but I will not watch. This is spots. Is Jane Silent Store? And I didn't know. I think I was confusing this for. I've never seen any Jay and silent. Bob Movies I've seen movies with Jay and silent Bob in them dogma. Yeah but I. I haven't seen a specific titular J. J. Rey movie but I have and I haven't I was confusing this for what is the Keanu Reeves time traveling movie. That's also being remade intent. Bill and Ted. I've never seen any bill and Ted's Either don't know much it all sort of like falls in the same. I kinda missed not like Corny but like Yeah like cool corny comedies in the nineties. Yeah well I think it's worth explaining the context of silent Bob that Kevin Smith Maiden indie film in Nineteen ninety-four. These two like dudes outside of a convenience store is characters one was himself. Yeah it was all a clerk so this all of these movies and these characters come from clerks Well then they made a like a pretty broad the teen sex room. Comedy and Jan Silent. Bob Are in it. And that's mall rats and they made a like kind of semi serious indie Film Chasing Amy and Jay and silent. Bob like pop up in it the minute they made dogma which is really kind of broad like religious comedy. I like dogma. And they're also in it and then they're like now it's time for the victory lap. They may Jane a strike back. Which is where I stopped. That's I haven't seen a movie in that and you ask universe. I stopped watching movies. No I haven't seen a view. Ask Universe movie. You could almost call it the Jason mewes universe. Because does he do much aside from B. J. and these movies remember he was on the tonight. Show for like a minute of correspondent. Jay Leno's tonight show Jay Leno's tonight show. Yeah we're GONNA Jason Mewes. That is the Jason. Walking was the name of that one outside giving the pulse of the city. Exactly I don't I don't Fall Kevin Smith for just doing whatever he wants to do. He seems like a pretty decent lake. Positive Dude Yeah but his movies are not good. I like his I like his happy passionate. Phantom about things like that. He's super positive about all of the NERD. World that he is he's been involved with it since and kind of part of what blew it up and now he's still one of the positive ones and not the comic book stuff sucks now. It was only good when I liked it. You know what I mean. He's not like hips during all right. Saw the birds of prey trailer. I cried he's still excited. For the seven hundred thirtieth comic book movie as everyone was to see Spiderman two or whatever and I liked that sort of like a what they call gates wide open type of thing. There's no gate keeping with him and I appreciate that. Yeah Kevin Smith also named his daughter Harley Quinn in real life God Harley Quinn Smith Hollywood blinken. You'll Miss Ed. She doesn't say anything. She's one of the Lena Dunham's group. She's so she's one of the girls on the ranch. Yeah she's one of the girls crazy. She didn't say anything but she's there carly she's not say anything that's crazy. She was born yet. I love learning stuff about Jason Betcha about Kevin Smith Jason. Mewes the first thing I ever knew about Kevin Smith which is the entrance to his world. Is I liked screen? I was getting screenwriting class when I was in film school in Missouri and I started watching movies along with scripts and that was something that Filmmaker friend of mine said to do. He's like it really helped him learn to write to watch and he's like watch boogie nights. Will you hold the script and you'll understand how visually you can write for the screen. Watch this watch and then somehow amidst all these things I rented a Kevin Smith live I W W Q Toronto and I watched it and I was like this is. It's not stand up right. It's sometimes funny but then I remember someone asked him a question during the they're like. I wrote a script. We read it any host. No then the guy was like what it was like. I don't want to be mean but think about the avenue and the pressure you just put on me and I was like this is weird. Everyone makes me feel weird and I didn't see clerks for seven years but that was that was the only thing I knew about. Kevin Smith was not reading a script on demand in a theater in Toronto. Actually did that in college to Spike Lee. Really Speaking Wasilla. No no no chance suggest you know jump at it. Opportunity take it and then I raise my hand. He's like well. I'm actually looking for a job in film. I'm having a hard time getting my foot in the door. Would you give me a job? No and he goes like full screen. What school is a Montclair State University? Okay I've heard stories about Spike Lee visiting colleges and talking to film kids and telling them like just it not not at worthless but that he it has not much to do with film and mostly about various cultural things. They're ruining yeah. Excuse me Mr Spike Lee. I'm I'm a Early Twenties White Man Gotten curly in college. Yeah I think he may do the right thing for me. Do you have any. I mean I was doing it more as a joke. I think I had stopped going to classes and all my professors were there. They were like I could see doing it as a joke. But I I'm wow I also Garcia. Never heard that story working out and then of all the people. It'd be the kid who skips class all the time but shows great promise and then this this is how it goes on the way here that he saw his transcript. Recently you go ahead all the things that professionally do now I failed like classes for feel similarly video. Editing acting writing best student academically a failure. Yeah put in practice and I only had one film class that ever actually provided me knowledge in film making that of used. I don't everything I learned was from the guys I borrowed cameras from in the town but they weren't had nothing to do with the college and do you know what I mean. I mean almost these were the guys who are like. Have you heard of pavement and I was like okay? Listen to music. You know what I mean like opens up. Oh this is my cultural niche. Is these three guys who still make all of the film stuff in the college town? I was at the screen nine class. Oh I failed. I got to present ideas for the movies we wanted to make and the movies. I got to present like three three ideas. You're right Three vague treatments you pitch them and one of the one I really wanted to make was about three guys who remake Lord of the Rings. Try and make money. And this isn't like two thousand seven foreshadows too. Yeah and I was like how funny would it be if two years after this? They're like that made the most money ever. Let's make it. And so they remake Lord of the Rings on a shoestring budget to try and pay rent and then it just ends up with them getting sued by the state. And you know all this. I was so passionate about that. And then the other one was about like coping with my dad has twelve brothers and sisters and when their mom died it like fragmented their family because it became there's twenty years apart and everyone's relationships are very calm and so when their mom slowly died of alzheimers it fragmented their family because of the tangible fight for the actual physical things because they only owned thirty and then I position president. Those two ideas. I didn't have a third one. I riffed a third one and I was like the other ones about a road trip where two guys try and find this animal. They thought they saw and that was the one that teachers like. That's the one you have so I wrote this horrible hundred page thing over something. I wasn't passionate about. It all turned it in got an F. physical screenplay with a red F on the front. Yeah and it's like that's the most work until my life where I put way more work into way bigger failures. That was the most work I've ever put into something. I don't care about this. I can't believe this is what I landed on. And now here. I am investing. You can't fail in your adult life in the way you fail in college because like that's at least it's like an accomplishment whereas college like you wouldn't be writing this if you were assigned it. Yeah Yeah and I say it's so worthless is insane. You should have us back and read that script here hundred page script my goodness that would be no point in my life have Ivan inch towards the vulnerability that this is all the layers of masking. I mean you know me. The layers of masking over any actual like that's almost the vulnerability is knowing how much I hide it all behind actually any ernest ear or anything like that truly to the detriment of a dozen relationships probably both friendship and intimate throughout my life anyway. So that's Kevin Smith spent his whole. I'm Debbie page. I think we just read. Let's let's read the script you can cast it however you want this. Jay and silent Bob Reboot okay. Would you prefer to read Stage Directions? Role? I'm GonNa give you that because I feel like I've got Jay's voice okay down pat and then the other roles her kid one kid to Kevin FEDOR line and Dante Randal and customer. This is a real test of our theory of whether people enjoy something knowing the spoiler not get to experience it with that. I mean a in my mind's eye Kevin Federal Line has a top billing on the poster for this I'd love to do Dante. Yeah Could you be the kids And Kevin Federal Line. I guess could you be the the kids in the customer and Kevin Federal Line could be Taine Randall? Yeah okay that's they think an easy way to do it. Something's gotTa give phone would have written a phone seen if I had thought it's just one of those things you figure out on set photoshop. The posters I put the People's face. I'm so excited for this one. I looked at the poster and I'm like we got good faces. We got notable shaped bodies Okay and I think a caveat I. I'm writing this not from the voice of breath but from the versus looking. Thanks I think the word Homo comes up in a pejorative percents off completely performed under the guise that this is what I think is what you think Kevin Smith wrote. Yeah Great and then I got a little carried away and started writing really would like to see. I'm already here. We go Jay Bob Reboot never seen by Brad Davis Exterior quick. Stop Grocery New Jersey morning. Jason Bob Stand outside of small convenience store. We have close up of their faces which have deformed into grotesque ugly Fellini esque caricatures of the once familiar faces. We remember from the nineties. Close up on silent. Bob whose dramatic weight loss makes him appear like a withered old man. Wearing a Kevin Smith skin suit not unlike the old six flags dancing man from the old commercials. Close up close up on Jay. Whose face looks less like a punk kid. Now has withered wrinkled. Look now has a withered wrinkled. Look of a sixty year old. Construction worker is new teeth. A bluish white give the weathered face a slightly ankeny via valley vibe. He speaks his once. Youthful voice now sounding James Gandolfini smooch to the niche motherfucker. Silent Bob Nods in approval and I should mention that all Ajay's lines have the parenthetical shouting. Everyone wearing headphones. I'll just slightly shouting today's Day Bro. These fat cats in Washington. Dc New Jersey decide if the snooty Bucci's or could it be legal New Jersey. Then we'll be able to get high as mother focus but that the five. Oh getting in our grill all the damn time. Silent Bob Watson approval. And we're GONNA run Jane. Sound Bob's pipe dreams New Jersey's first-ever legal dispensaries island. Bob Knots and approval. Three eight year olds presumably sons of Kevin Smith's friends roll up on their hover boards. Hang with their smartphones. Oh Shit he comes little rascals. Sorry boys but my rule is not just trying to get some vape coils. We don't sell that Shit. That's bad for your health. Hit me with the all natural. Bob Light the majority puts it in Jay's grotesque mouth. You homos doesn't he doesn't he. Does he also put his dick in your mouth to kids? High fiving laugh silent. Bob makes a jerk off gesture. Come on little man. This is New Jersey. We don't pump our own grass. What's up with your face. Your mouth looks like Superman. Cgi UPPER LIP. Justice League reluctantly nods in agreement. Don't respect any benefits like Jersey girl. That movie was the bomb dot Com. J. Cyber Rave raise ever so slightly beneath the dramatic wrinkles of his forehead silent. Bob Aggressively nods in approval. You will losers needs to get with The Times. It was only one time to get with. And that's more stay in the time. So Bob begins to dance kind of jungle plays. Jay licks his finger in Panama Finger. Which is dance. I guess okay boomer. Let's go you guys gen-x pro. What's a Youtube silent? Bob Maybe these kids right. If we're going to open up pipedreams we need to learn. About what the millenniums are into silent. Mouths millenniums physically calls me acting with the nuance of Scooby Doo cartoon. Let's go to our man Dante. Interior Quick Stop Grocery Day. Jamieson Bob Walk into the quick stop groceries from clerks where? Dante's working register the age. Dante still has thin goatee. Is that the main guy a look. That was bad in nineteen ninety. Four half of the stores now vape shop. He's talking to Kevin Federal Line. Who was making a cameo Mr Line? You got your e CIGS. I don't have any paper. Spank mags here anymore. Can't you just go on the Internet porn on? The Internet now might have to make a little pearl jam. Later makes a jerk off gesture. You're playing with fire. Homo came out Pope Airlines big brief solo music. Playing with fire is the name of his album. That one's for the Fans Dante. Wondering all these Gizmos you sell here now. They had to replace the newsstand with vape liquids and accessories. I thought you guys would know about this kind of stuff. We're trying to learn about what the kids are into these days. Like I told you K Fed. Why don't you go on the Internet? That's not a bad idea Dante. Where do we find it? You don't have a smartphone. What's a smartphone you guys? You guys have about thirty years of catching up to do. Randall sells them next door. Dante breaks the Fourth Wall and looks into camera to say his famous line from clerks. Not even supposed to be here today. A musical sting implies. The audience may be cheering too much to hear the next race. Interior cell phone store. Randall is having a conversation with a disinterested custom. I mean Tony. Stark is an engineer. He has no prior knowledge of quantum physics let alone pin pin pin particle. So why is the first guy in in the avengers? Turn to when they want to invent the Einstein Rosen Bridge instead of say bill. Bill foster a fucking biochemist who previously worked on project. Goliath with Hank pipe dream. I just want to buy an Alexa Randall. You motherfucker well if it isn't tweedle dip shit and Tweeden. Don't fuck you homo Internet. Excuse me I said can I purchase Alexa? Who IS ALEXA? Does he have a fat ass? Because I want might WANNA buy ride to. You've never heard of an Amazon Alexa. No but I know that xena chick and I'd like to fill her cream. Cheese withered either old face attempts to make his tongue flap. But it just looks like he's having the saddest stroke ever silent. Bob makes a jerk off gesture. Alexa is the emphatic. Vote for the surveillance state. My stupid friend emphatic. Sorry and no I will not sell you a microphone to Jeff Bezos. Good Day sir. Buck you home son. Bob makes a jerk off gesture we these report record people's conversations under the guise of convenience then Amazon can plug into this live feed and learn everything about everyone. Not Unlike professor. X'S CEREBRAL MACHINE SILENT. Bob Nuts and approval. Hear THAT SOUND UP. All we need to learn about the last thirty years is find the cerebral machine plugging and then we'll be able to make our wheat dispensary. The first big business. When the sticky icky gets legalized but to get to it. You might have to kill. Jeff bezos. The let's jump on it like the sugarhill gang. Apache jump on it by the sugarhill gang. Plays Jay and silent Bob Dance. Though Jay's dancing pantomime fingering a woman from behind to be continued oh Princeton's kind of. Yeah yeah some freeze frame. Slow motion break dancers come out of nowhere with cardboard put on the ground. Apaches the way to go at the end of that. I know this song that's my contribution because even hurt the song or did you just write. This down ended up being a song. Yeah I'm shocked. Patchy parenthetical jump whole playlist which is just guess. What the for song the rest of them are. Other songs are at that point can also find it under Carlton Dance Fresh Prince Is that the song that's what he danced ten K. or is up everybody. It's Kyle I got to tell you about stubborn. Says NEW PODCAST CALL? Chelsea hosted by Chelsea Friggin Peretti Chelsea. Pretty like the funniest person in the world. She's new podcast here on star Burns. It's called call. Chelsea Chelsea answers. Listener calls live on air talks about whatever topic they want unless they're topic stupid and then she'll hang up on you which is probably just as fun to listen to his actual people calling in her friend inside. Kit Kool Kojak Chimes in mostly Chelsea just gonNA roast him for making noise drinking coffee on Mike. This Chelsea Pretty Call Chelsea. I A new podcast with Chelsea pretty. That should be enough to get anybody to listen They'll talk about everything from Chelsea's upcoming album awesome to the climate crisis. Now does awesome important to reality dating shows. Maybe the midway point there you can call in with the topic prepared at your own risk of ridicule and be sure to subscribe and download wherever you listen to podcasts. Call Chelsea Chelsea Pretty podcast. You'RE GONNA listen. Go listen I think it's I won. His movies probably feel dated to watch. Don't they yes it has to? I it is. I know that he's sometime. I don't know if he's still a large short-sea dust large short and the The Basketball Jersey Jersey's hockey hockey jerseys at large sleeves. I saw him one time in New York and a large Hockey Jersey. And I was like. You don't really see someone who look okay. It starts to feel like his stroke. If you think you're the only one hearing Apache he really looks like you think he would look. Yeah as weird as that sounds. That's exactly that's exactly Eddie. Seems Nice on the Internet. The people and the characteristic of Johnson Bob again like Brian Halloran thin goatee were also somewhat dated and like ninety four. Yeah Yeah it's like a lot of like Dick Jokes. Gay Jokes Fart Jokes Shit Jerks Etcetera. Yeah Yeah I think you nailed it in a time capsule since the last movie and like they haven't been aware of anything that's happening really lots of times it really. I mean I say that feels like what the movie would probably be about. I think is them. That's once again. That's the bill and Ted movie where their daughters and female. It's like the girls are the new villain Ted this I really think it's probably them freaking out about smartphones. Like the plot to the movie would've been in two thousand seven but somehow it's twenty twenty and the kids still say homos as a slur for sure well in Leonardo New Jersey where the quick stop grocery is still to this day. I think I think Kevin Smith owns that lot. So it's still there still an active convenience store and they're still an empty two stores next to it and that they use it for like a location but also like that one convened serves. The only one in the surrounding area keeps that local neighborhood going the only shop in that neighborhood in that part of kind of a rural ish but also sure town kind of middle class to lower income neighborhood. I think kids still do say that. I don't know if would be the specific slur affiliates very dated in the Ninety S. I questioned and then I was like Kevin Smith is writing for these. He's writing and it's not it's unreal. Children kids yelled at him in nineteen ninety-three probably sure kids would yell at him. Loitering type of thing is probably what they still yell. But yeah the shop still there which is crazy if anyone knows the specific slurs regional slurs tweeted. Us tweeted us any. We're GONNA start the slur bracket next week. We're going to find out the most prevalent sixty four top slurs. It was closer to Philly at the John. Jay W N really well that's not a SLURP. It's IT'S PHILADELPHIA. Talk for anyone like but also these things would be. John's like it'd be like how you are how you John's doing. Can I pick up one of these John's play? It's like it's just like that thing right there. Yeah like kind of what it means is also means you or that laptop or this mike or kind of like that because then it's so vague. I mean I don't like it at the slower book isn't quite vague. If it can apply equal opportunity insult it's not rooted in hundreds of years of oppression. Yes and a historically lighter heavy lorries just sorta like. I'm trying to be casual. Here's the thing I hate. Yeah Day today. Oh what do you show? I'm GONNA show you a picture someone who just cut you off. You let me know what comes to mind. Has Anyone here? Seen Janet say Jay and silent Bob Strike Back. You have so I think it shows in this because there's they there's a commonality. There's a thread in the sense of them. Not knowing technology because at the end of the movie of Jamestown pop strike back they are so unaware of what the Internet is even in two thousand and three or whatever. That movie came out that they're like what we print it out this list of all the people that you know. Somehow they got the addresses right of the people that commented on like negativity towards their movie. That the that we just saw so they go to their houses to punch them in the face like them or something so like they're so unaware of how it works. Then that this would I think be appropriate in that world and it should relatable thing so it feels like eras caught up is like a training video at a new job. Those corporate videos every remake them and so the everything was very old ties very different Asia and the behaviors. Just something your past. But you have to watch this. There's sort of living in this maybe two decades. I think I think it's also a worthwhile wrinkle to say that Pats on the best show. Let's I'm sharply and The one of the producers on it if you make was a comintern. That's right on like the Kevin Smith Message Board and he was his name was B. Buster. Yeah it was B- Buster and Y- and that's how he gave. I think he would make fun of Kevin Smith movies. Such a part of it that he wound up getting a cameo in the movie or something. I didn't know that I know I know he got. He Got Kevin Smith to call to call Tom on the best show just from provoking him on this message board he got. He Got Kevin Smith to call. Tom Which Tom was not even looking forward to but he was like well. I guess this is happening. It was all through that message board. He got a cameo. Didn't even know this is just something. It is such a Kevin Smith just specific existence in nerd culture. Which is now the most prevalent. I think film thing but it such he somehow just existed off to the side and I don't know if it's because also would've like a massive influence on independent film because clerks was such an insane success but it's so he doesn't come up he doesn't really come up unless you're talking specifically only about him it such a weird thing but he does. He's almost obsessed with this fans's fans are with him and it is. It does feel like He. He exists sort of like the lost message. Board world existed where everyone talked about in this one community and then that was almost ramped up to be more like bigger than the actual show this. He exists like an idea to take a side on online. Yeah I mean it was like Tarantino Kevin Smith. Yeah it was like the next year. There was like yeah. The turned away in these Kevin Smith. Making the funny independent movie that he made for. What like fifty thousand dollars. It was the Jersey new way up. Also we're saying that both PAT are from New Jersey and it sucks. The they're like they're so few people that like wave that flag and then just flag. There are all kinds of bad like so many people from New Jersey League. If you looked at a list of actors from New Jersey you'd be like Oh my God it's like half of Hollywood Serandon Meryl Streep the few people that are actually like Yeah Jersey or like Kevin read. This guy wears the Jersey old ones new ones. So what's the best movie to take place in New Jersey? I would say what do you think a because this. What do you think people associate I with them? What do you think is the best movie? Take Place in New Jersey for me. Missouri. I say this. Lot roadhouse is the best movie to take place in Missouri. I think roadhouse is perfect But now it's not a movie but Ozark is what people shove as Missouri now or honestly the wizard of Oz. Even though it's in Kansas. Do you know what I mean. They do like the you know what I mean. You're Kinda in there. But it's roadhouse the best one I agree and then I would say Ozark or unfortunately. Three billboards is what people will associated with it. I mean for sure the Sopranos. Oh yeah that's the thing we can't really call it. We can't really call it a movie but but can't we. I mean it's kind of like if I'm going to say you got. This thing is quintessentially. The I think that's what people know about. The state comes from that show. If bread hadn't said it I would have said it because it captures captures this. We use the term there sometimes but like a Jersey Anna of this mythos of like landscape and just story and people and like dialect and it's just all culture. It's it's weird but it's all their Sopranos Goodfellas takes place in New Jersey. Little Bit Probably. Long Island is all kind of it's a blurred line for like that you know the part. We grew up in his sort of that. Half at half an hour away from Manhattan sort of northern New Jersey East Jersey which we just call North Jersey. But it's it's kind of more specific than that but Yeah Jersey's condenstate you've got people of all different classes living there but all different people in there is the most densely populated state in the nation but cities beaches forest yet. Everybody sounds a sally and everybody say Yeah. Go ahead go go go you know. It's such a dynamic touches. All they love diners you ever. I don't even. We talked about Diners Today. On an episode which dynasty that one zero one three days in a row. I like that place is a Elliot's got some good diners. New York we as bad at diners. Not Compare to New York. City is terrible diners rate at diners. New York City is tricked by neon dollar eggs. Because it's off the G and the L my gremlins right by that one. Yeah talking about the Kellogg. The Kellogg Fellow Kelly's Diner Williams Brooklyn most disappointing thing. That's ever happened to me in any capacity had family die. This thing is the Kellogg diner because it's such a perfect location short cool. It looks charm fighting. It looks like what it it kind of looks like what you think. Living in New York will be like variety move there. I'm GonNa live in the thing from that show. I'm going to eat at that place. And then you get there and you like actually. You're living in the thing from no show and you're eating nothing. I couldn't agree more. Yeah it's it's a trick it's a trap what we eat out of necessity. Sometimes because it's like the only it's open it's open. We have no other option gyms. I like right down the street lobby. Hash Diner a restaurant. That's what New York does a lot a lot of these restaurants under the guise of just. Your menu is one page front and back. And because you're seating sucks doesn't make you a diner amen. Let's say Elliot's Diner. Culture is superior to a LOT OF PLACES JERSEY. We talked about diners on some so. That just came out and someone was like. Hey you can talk about diners without like. There's more there than that gets a thing. Huge part of the culture loved. Chris gathered just did a a free album about New Jersey where he perfectly dice sex. What makes it a diner doesn't and there's like a kind of like a fake diner thing where it's like you and if you're not open twenty four hours get the hell out of here comes or if they don't butter the toast in the kitchen if they just give you like a slob of butter and they expect you to have it melts like you're not a diner. Okay yeah people even tagging them talking about New Jersey Diners I know. He's the quintessential New Jersey Guy. Not He's not a state but I love diners. There's some good ones. What's your diner? Hate in Los Angeles. Nothing's open twenty four hours in Los Angeles twenty four hours. La is open till nine. That's the equivalent of over twenty four hours. One is but a lot of things are not a. Lotta things are even this three. Pm Close the bright spot. Isn't that bright spot just started being open late in? This is such an whenever whenever you come on. This is a specific thing. I Love Diner. I Love Diners and I love gas stations. I love going and being on the road and being like it's certainly a privilege of mind and never feel unsafe. You know what I mean and I'm like I love joint truck stops a truck stop in Iowa the eighty eight this the biggest trucks trucks to end the war. And you go in. And they're like there's a dentist here. That's an a movie theater. I love truck stops loved guesses I love going to create. I wish I had the time to just stop it. All the things they advertise wall drug drug. What's this you read my mind Walter? Biggest tourist trap of all time at all. They advertise free ice water for like eighty thousand miles. I talked to finally make it up to it and sure they offer you free. Ice Wonder about sodas any gas shot or any place on. Earth. Because that's the law. They have to water. And it's employed entirely by like immigrants like like European immigrants South Dakota. It's just a walk through shopping center. That has an animatronic dinosaur horse show and like right like a few different things that are just like it's in South Dakota on I ninety. I love this and you gotta go. If you're ever near there you'll you'll leave with a bumper sticker or a magnet or more. I would love to do such in-depth review of tourist traps. That's what I would like you. I went out of my way about seventy miles one time to see the world's largest goose and it was in Kansas and it was a statue of Goose and I was so I was like you. GotTa you gotTa Say. It's a statue south of the border to sounds the order on the east coast. If you're driving down the east coast. Yes see literally like huge racist landmark. Really Yeah and they say they have the world's biggest SOMBRERO and pretty excited to see how it's pretty this woven like and then it's just a metal thing on the top of like a phone tower. Basically Water Tower. I can't the low A. Lot of world's biggest prairie dog in Kansas also a statue. And you can't just look up the thing. There isn't a large statue of and make twenty foot tall world record. Yeah I think well drug has the world's largest Jack Elope and Statue. Of course it is now but that one's real museum of corn another great one o out to California in the Corn Cornell is made out of corn. If you drive from here to Vegas or vice versa. On the highway there is a thing there's the thing that there's that Arizona has the thing alien truckstop or whatever little alien yeah. I have I went there. I was driving. Mexico always wanted to go there. I always wanted to go there and we pass by this like what. I'm guessing is just a biker. Lodge It was it was a Los Bandidos was like the name of the gang and as our thing drove by they all were pulling out and then for days. We were on the same path as these. These bikers this is actually was in Arizona like the next day. We were like okay. We gotta go to Roswell and we go in Roswell in we pull in and we go to this Alien Museum. And it's like kitschy and like Kinda more rent and fun. Yeah and then like all the bikers also came in and like whatever mystique they had was like me like cut in half because they were at the crush penny machine. I'll biker gang. That's also like taking the Selfie with Alien Statue. Really like into it too. That's so fun I would love that. You always think that that's like a very Americana idea to just sort of road trip and stop it all the time but then anytime you're actually driving these things you're in a hurry. Missouri's are not. They're all porn shops. They still have. But you can Kinda I you can tell what is illegal in nearby states by what is right on the edge of the border and the state. You're in so if like in fireworks. Fireworks fireworks are illegal in Iowa but legal in Missouri so two seconds into this northern border Missouri Southern Iowa is a million and the same with like truck porn shops. I believe in cans are illegal but in Missouri. So you get right in the interstate and you just see like one hundred miles. We got pictures of naked ladies. Sixty is like your script is like sixty miles pullover and we got pictures of naked and nick. How you're on your phone while you're driving. What could this possibly offer you any right like? How could this business still exist? It's unbelievable let alone. There's always a truck or two or all these people put them over to somebody. They love it. It's it's the countdown that gets you all excited about everything. As far as like cool places to go wall drug and south border pretty disappointing but the coolest place in the world to me. I think is the city museum in Saint. Louis it is it is the best part of Saint Louis And one of the cooler Every city has the one tourist thing that actually is great. You know what I mean. Everyone's like you don't WanNa do the tour. The museum in Saint Louis is very very fun. It's not a museum by your traditional. It's like an adult. Yeah you get to go and slides and stuff right unbelievable. We've really got it so that's Kevin Smith's Rotten tomatoes Y- I loved. I Love Diners. I think that's how we got an all this right yeah Cindy's and Eagle Rock out there. That's good diners to Ambi is also an Eagle Rock. Just right on the corner from Cindy's basically anyone's aunt if you just look up someone's aunt's name. They probably have a decent Eagle Rock. Diner Kathies Barbara all right. We played this game the podcast. I forgot to even pull up. We got music and everything for over Games taking awhile. It's load and it's done. We play this game in the podcast called build the perfect movie. Perfect movie and how this works is you are going to be competing against other Rebecca. You WanNa get on this. All right three will be competing against each other to try and build the perfect movie. You must combine two movies from the category to build the perfect movie with that means. Is Your two movies rotten? Tomatoes scores must be as close to one hundred percent combined without going over surprises rules. Apply so for instance a perfect Robin Williams movie would be happy feet seventy six percent and RV twenty four percent. So you're looking at a perfect golden perfect hunterston. So you'll take turns you'll pick one and then we will review scores and then you get to pick accordingly for your second round so it makes sense sure. Hundred percent is possible. That over the first category is you're GonNa try and build the perfect first movie that has a sequel or a franchise. Does that make sense as the first movie in the series? Okay that has more than one movie in it and this is so loose you know what I mean. Gremlins fast and furious. Anything that is a can to jaws anything that is a continuation in this franchise. You'RE GONNA try and build the perfect one using to those And Your Rebecca played before you can go first background music Okay Jay and silent Bob Strike Back. Does that count as the first one because of their first one. Well if now that there's a Jay and silent bob specific sequel. I would say because it's not the first instance of the characters bits the first James. I like saying it's the first like a vendor's movies in the early sixties. Yeah Yeah Yeah exactly. Yeah good reasoning. All RIGHT ALL RIGHT BRET. My guess is going to be Troll and the whole nine yards. So we'll just do you. Which do you want first. Because then I'll give you your score just in case. Okay I'M GONNA go with troll. Then it is so hard to just this movie. Troll is just as crazy as troll too. I know they're not related to one another. But yeah everyone talks about troll two but troll is it's a weird man character. It's very very strange. Joe All right well I. I'm glad I'm glad Sony got. He got he got do some films before he you know. I'm happy that he got some acting. Work on record set but okay What about rock and Roll High School? The first one old is we'll go through the scores because then high number picks first rate all right. Okay Jay and Silent Bob. Strike back fifty two percent fifty two percent. You're looking for forty eight year. Call troll twenty five percent. Twenty five percent rock and roll high school eighty-one percent eighty-one percent. Fine okay. So we'RE GONNA start with rock and roll. Highschool always worried about that and it has to still be like first movie and it was the first one in any serious it could be. You know it doesn't you don't have to. It's any any first movie series again. You're going for nineteen percent or lower here. The first movie is usually the highest rate. So I'm I I have to find like a twenty percent looking for a nineteen or less so really bad movie any year really bad movie that they still made more of. Oh I got it turn. It still made movies about a bad animated movie. There hasn't been one time. How much work it takes to make those. There's always a nice part about Roger. Ebert reviews where even if it's the worst movie of all time. With the exception of human centipede he would write. I got I got one because you because you just said because you just said Roger Ebert Carnivore. It has to be bad. Is that a series Roger. Ebert gave it a thumbs up. Siskel Ebert Sorry Siskel. Gene Siskel gave him so much shit about it. Is there a carnivore? There's a carnival too. Yeah it's a hard it's claymation Harvey Mission Horror Movie. It was like early nineties late eighties but I cut you off kyle. He would always say people made this movie so it deserves a half a star at least because effort goes into it So he stayed long then. Like human centipede was like this. No one who was everyone who was involved with should have stopped it and like the only one he didn't give it all comes. Carnivore does not have enough reviews. Oh for tomato number. It does have an audience score with seventeen. Hundred user ratings. So would you like to use the audience? Score? Keep in mind. These are people who searched this movie out to give their opinion so there is a score from the audience. There's an audience score. I'll take it all right so now we're going with Jamestown BOB strike back. Fifty two percent Is hostile a series like the Horror series? I don't remember if there's also okay I'm GonNa go with the part one of that one. I've never seen it so I have no idea. People is my least favorite genre movie. I don't watch movies like that. Hostels now go. It's like the. It's the human centipede Jonah to. There's a second one of that too isn't there. There's a Lotta. There's a bunch of different edits of human centipede in this whole like a Human Santa Costanza. This was almost perfect. All right Troll twenty five percent seventy five I'M GONNA take back my whole nine yards and I'm going to replace it inspired by Pats rock and roll highschool with class of Nukem high. Yeah there you go. And that's my the equivalent of like a one dollars bid on prices or just like just another bad movie hoping. Yeah I'm the only one that doesn't go over I. I should have thought about trauma. So we have rocking high school. Eighty one percent carnivore audience score twenty six percent just over all man. I just really close. We're not going to cut it out of the episode. If if you had said Roger Ebert Oh it wouldn't have made me think of carnival which is arguably one of the worst films ever all right James Object back fifty two percent hostile sixty one percent movie fresh movie mine new in twenty five percent of Nukem high twenty percents here we are we wondering what his way on stage so I made the perfect movie. Also thank you a perfect movie. We'll see today is classics role. Hi Yep hi I think is a good control of new complain all right so we're GONNA do one more round all right. I have to think of what category will be. Someone sent me some good ones. But I don't know where it all here. Let's do movies prominently featuring an animal lover. Ub's prominently featuring animal And we will go in reverse order here since one nukem I okay and then who is second closest pat. You're barely over Yoga BECA. You really blew it on that one. I prominently featuring an animal. I'm GonNa go with dunston checks in. I'll go with a classic Babe. I in a series examples. We could've used true. Dunston checks in has a sequel. I believe so. Check it out to check out late. But I'M GONNA go with the new doolittle with Robert Downey junior stinker looks like a real stinker. Dunston checks in twelve percent. We got a lot of space to work with year. Twelve percent ninety seven percent. I know it's all right. I know some really bad movies now. Storm seven percent. I feel confident doolittle. Sixteen percent everything about this movie looks like a fake movie trailer from Tropic Thunder Insane Photo shopped animal. I mean clearly but it's like someone made it in an hour. I saw the trailer for this before. Another movie heavily featuring Animals Allen. Cats cats for the wrong reasons. You'RE GONNA love doolittle doolittle trailer where he's like comforting the gorilla and he's like it's okay to be afraid. The grill is just like WanNa do like it. Made me think it's not okay to be afraid Okay so we're babe you're up here. I with ninety seven percent okay. So what's the math you need here? I need to find the worst. All right or two can it? Can I just pick any movie? It has prominently feature an animal shit. We're so loose on this all right And be three percent or less you know. Let's go reverse over on this one. Can you guys are kind of in a similar place? So we will go was the lowest one here doesn't checks at twelve so we'll go there. I I'm going to say and I think there is a remake of the remake of flipper. And if not I'll just go with. Classic Clipper there's a TV series was the remake. It looks like it was on from ninety five to two thousand a flipper the movie movie flipper. Okay all right little. I think I'm going to go over. I'm trying to think of ones that are good but not too good You know the thing I was thinking about. What's an average movie prominently featuring an animal? Yeah too bad. I'm too bad I'm always thinking about I guess the I guess. Jungle book like the newer one. I figure it's going to be. I didn't see it but I feel like it's GonNa be higher circus director or something. Oh fuck maybe. That's that's fine. We talked about him so much circus just because he's awesome awesome. We always talked about the anti circuses. There should be some sort of motion capture Oscar. And she'll probably be named after him should be some sort of category for this giant blindspot. That awards have besides that stunts saying that there's not Oscars you know. What can I change? Mine you should. Yeah I'M GONNA change it to Keanu Jungle Book Eighty Six jungle book or Jon Favreau directed. Yeah does a ninety four. This jungle book came out two years ago. I remember it was. I remember now that people loved it interesting. Yeah Kiana that can peel Kano. Okay cool all right so babe here we are. The music has stopped no worries. The suspense is appropriate was. Can I ask a question? In my response you was there was there an Anaconda. Three had to have been yes. It does not have taught me the tomato meter. Damn I'm here. If you want there are few reviews for it There's there's enough for the math. Let me look this up and do this. I almost said jaws five because I think that's the worst jaws but I still fear that it'll be obviously over three percents. I'm cruel jaws Josh. Five revenge turn. Is it the return of the revenge? Looks like the return. So would you be able to do the math on on Anaconda? Thirty Anaconda three doesn't really exists. All Right Shark. Nato's are there. Okay wait a minute. Jaws the revenge if you wanted has enough reviews for shark NATO. Oh you might be throwing me. I don't now how few there's we'll tell you. The first shark. Nato is seventy eight percent. What's so that's the vantage point. How can teach US five jazz? John It's GonNa take me over but maybe not much. Johnston checks in twelve percent flipper thirty two percent. So here we are living in Brett world the forties the mid forties but it was the most we ever had four so forty four total. But you're in the game and just wanted to say the monkeys GonNa read. That's the plot of the movie. Yeah that's the way around. It's the tagline of the film rights. Just want to go back to back on the Post Attack Forcibly Cross Photoshop crite doolittle sixteen percent. Kiana seventy-seven percent. So we're looking at. What a ninety three. That's a good movie that that's the one that's one of the scores ever seen this. So now the murky riding the Dolphin has been eliminated. Babe Ninety seven percent jaws the revenge zero. I waited -gratulations impressive. Victory in the eighth grade a couple of ninety seven. That's like Combo Ninety seven. We rarely had anyone in the ninety zero zero percent. That was like me in double jeopardy crazy. You pushed it all illogical tension free and filled with cute with cut rate effects jaws. The revenge is a sorry chapter. A once. Proud franchise proud. I gotta say when Kyle mentioned. He didn't see jaws like baffled me but I also have not seen so many classic films that you know. It's for shame on me but it got me thinking. About how many terrible jaws movies there are and that's gotTA BE. It has to be the first one good really. The first one is is the you know. It's the only movie need to see but the the funny thing about the second one that everybody loves to point out is that the mayor in jaws one is still the mayor and jaws to the guy that allowed every happen anytime. There's like election year. There's always people joking like this is local elections are so important because the mayor can judge me still the mayor only returning character. I think he is. I think even like the people who live in the down all left. Yeah Roy Schneider is his name. Ya say anything. Yeah he's he makes a brief cameo because they needed like their begged them. But like yeah. That's the only it's like grease two. I think like the principles may be. The same principles are playing teenager. But none of the printers to acting all right. We're GONNA can't ninety seven zero. Maybe I'll watch just that jaws and report and then that's what I put into conversations when jaws cut US five and I'm just like when he returns y'all remember when he returns when we're talking about jaws at this bar when it comes up all right last thing. We're GONNA do here today. We got a game called guess what movie. Carlsbad describing having only watch a trailer and never having her love and be. Kyle's Dad described camping wash. Never heard so how it works is my dad's going to describe a movie trailer and you have to get some neutral word is Sorry if you guys are listening this is old old. Repeat but you don't remember. No one remembers okay. He's bouncing this tennis ball. Taking a phone call now. He's drumming and wearing headphones and telling the man in the suit why it's not going to work I. Isn't he wearing shoes now? Everyone is in suits. Everyone keeps saying that no one is paying attention. There's a bunch of guys I know in this one. We've got a bunch of quick shots of all of them. Here he's drumming. They're betting against America. The stripper has five houses. There's a bunch of guys I know but everyone of them has bad hair one of the most beautiful poems. That's how I feel after every single one of these stunning he. He should apply for poet laureate of whatever state he lives in Missouri. Post story Missouri Portland. I'M GONNA take shot in the dark and say the entourage. Movie is not the entourage. Oh this is not the entourage movie all right let me look. We get one guests each guest until you get. This doesn't end until you get it. This one's a reached but the computer wore tennis shoes. That sounds like a robot guests by one what he just said the little things. I'm taking the the metadata there. Yeah so familiar. Faces drumming. Tennis Ball Ball. I'm looping that under the blanket of tennis it's not a nothing's clicking for me I if there are hints I would love her. I will tell you the person that my dad foreshore recognized But he doesn't know his name. Is Steve Carell? Oh Oh oh okay. That's battle of the sexes. It is not bad really on the tennis situates. The get smart movie is not the get smart. Oh No anchorman Bruce Almighty No. I mean Evan Evan Almighty now I wouldn't have held you to that If you're like it's Evan I wouldn't have you bruce. Almighty movie was checking with the judges. I'm sorry guys you're looking for. I would love another hint because they feel like the most important line in his description is they're betting against America. I had a feeling that was the Muslim Portland but I couldn't. Oh the big sick. The big shore. Sure your America. He's GonNa get just for laughs. Yeah it is. The big short is a big short. Thanks for coming on. That would have never guessed it really now. Pretty good yeah. It's one of those movies. It's pretty good that they didn't see we'll just kind of go. You know go off. There's a few those every year that you like. That's pretty good money balls that pretty good that just kind of went away. I had a question though. Do you do just play trailers without audio on and have in record your dad or hasn't because there's audio he does it with my mom using the voice memo APP but it's basically him reading the notes from it. You know what I mean like. Watch write notes than read the notes back so I love it. That's great but then voice memo and it's become a whole. They got a good rhythm down to catch on a nice day to get get bank a few of them. You know what I mean. Yeah he doesn't. He's realizing the weight he carries. And so I think he's going to unionize Is what I'm worried about is implanting some sort of dad. Vio Union. Yeah But thanks for having never seen we'll my God thank James Draw. This was a great a great time. Thank you for being here. Pat Thank you for being here. I love it. I love the show on love this shrink up to the podcast for laundry. Yeah let them know. Tell National Lampoon Radio Hour. Those are two also audio base. Things I do. I've been told to plug when I go at other. Podcasts produced my podcast. I now I know uptakes fat anything. Sure I mean on the best show weekly with Tom. Sharply in. That's Tuesday nights nine eastern six Pacific. But it's also podcast the next day and we're bringing back the side podcast which I'm really upset about. Meet my friends the friends. This is a a recap podcasts on friends. But it's anything but it's a it's the fourth season everything goes haywire and this kind of a very Meta storyline of podcasts. I don't know how to explain it Brits but here it but That's coming back next week so that'd be great. Thank you guys very much. Thanks for listening everybody If you're listening you're in Los Angeles. I think this will have to come out after the Brooklyn show so I got. I've been plugging a show. That will have been done by the time the okay. If you're in Los Angeles we have a live show on March twelfth. And it's going to be the period so get tickets to that. I'll be postal falls on instagram and twitter and find the show there and get tickets. This show March twelve things a Thursday and it can be very leery appearing. Live podcast and want some fun guests out for that. Thank you so just by the line. Okay you've made it this far in the episode. Good for you. This is so we got a little special thing here before. This is ever podcast. If you listen to the whole intro first off thank you and second of all second of off. Second off is great. You know I'm back taught still here urbach getting back into the studio a week later to record this part of the answer so before any this podcast before we met star Burns before. Anita's going on in the show is a live show and I thought it could be a good idea for. Podcast is years you you know this is like six years ago. Maybe seven years ago it was just Mark Marin And that was the only one radio. Yeah yeah the close to being a radio. Show this yeah. This was going to be me reading the world's and trying to get people to freak out so Brett came over. Brad Davis came over. And he had never seen deadpool and he wrote a deadpool script and we read it as a sample podcast years before we ever started doing this show and I the Audio Fort Sill. It's cruder audio because I recorded at my house. And we were sharing. A couple of microphones amongst a bunch of people. And you're just in my room. The sound quality is not as great but I thought fun to share a predecessor to the whole show. Britain's has never seen deadpool. This is one of my favorite scripts that we ever had and we never even had it too. Here's a fun fun throwback I want to say twenty fourteen or something like that So enjoy it can't handle looking into this beating. We're not in Kansas City. Nobody is they've never seen it. I am Keiler is. This is the podcast where I have. Comedians rewrite famous movies that they've never seen and then we do a table. Read for you guys. I'm here with the Fancy Group of people. Brett Davis nickname any tynan delong. And Courtney McGinnis and on the keyboards. We have our normal musician. Today will be a they. Were GonNA be doing Fred Scripts for Deadpool Ba? I I want to ask everyone the worst movie that you've seen the most times 'cause when we're doing this podcast before we realized we haven't seen these Some of you a big prestigious movie like jaws or the Godfather something but I've seen maximum overdrive a dozen times or something like that and it's easy easily accessible you on the backgrounds. What do you think what's the worst movie you've seen the most times? I remember when I was getting either. No go ahead okay. Fine thank you. What's your name though? I'm Courtney McGuinness. Thank you insert fart noises. I saw the movie full findings. Oh God I just watch it for the first time like six months ago and I've seen it like four times since then it's on Youtube in fall. It's a real estate agent from Las Vegas. Nevada made this movie. And it is truly magical. Yeah I mean just the worst. It's amazing amazing. Thank you yeah. I think I've Seen Batman and Robin probably the most. Yeah that one's really bad Yes it has an Batman forever as nipples too but this one it's a little bit more prominent and And just Arnold Schwarzenegger's incredible yeah and it and Mr Freeze and also the first meeting of Batman and mister freeze damage says high freeze. I'm Batman so nick Manley Insert Vert now are you guys lawyer with the The John Cusak pecking sale. Movie serendipity seen it a More than more than a handful of times because I went through a phase where it was bad. I knew it was a bad movie but I thought you were. GonNa say different movie. What did you think you're going to say talking cat? I've only seen times man. I really liked that. That one's a really funny bit. Assume he's going to say a different movie. Your insert noise with that. This is the second episode. Everyone will be familiar with movies by this point. So we don't have to explain the concept again. Like last time I think mine is Jane Silent Bob Strike Back Yes like the worst fucking movie like Holy Shit Brian Oh Holler the just the most wasted cameos and in jokes and I hate it so much and I think it's a lot of dead pool probably comes from that influences. Were Yeah I think. I've seen the skulls at least ten times just because when I got a DVD player. It came with blue streak in the skulls. Oh Yeah couldn't afford any other movies so I watch. I like blue streak but I watched the skull so I remember McNamara and is one of their lap. Paul Walker's characters last name and I don't know anyone with that last name in real life. Oh my God so sexually aroused watching that movie and there's a scene where the girls walked by with hard nipples. My Gosh. It's all just take a moment to reflect on. I'll be playing the clip at this point. I'm pretty sure I could buy it for all of its. Copyright died off two years ago so frame by frame. Did you watch that scene? Yeah I probably pause that inject off if I had to be honest with myself not recently. I don't have a DVD player anymore. But I watched it a lot. I remember the Inter titles. Probably remember it. Now it's dom to dead at this point for memories to the podcast now. Let's get into it all right. So this is dead pool by Brad. Davis by Davis. Yeah I pick the movie with my name in the title associate. Begin the Nikkei exterior dark alley a group of criminals around an armored truck opening the door to reveal a bunch of teddy bears. The ripped the heads off of one bear or multiple bears. That's TYPO and put pour out packages of cocaine. The one criminal gestures to another load up their truck as they pass boxes over the here too loud crash on the roof of the truck. They look up to see dead pool. Hate joads mine of I hop in on this circle jerk I got a nut. Oh Teddy bears. They point their guns at him. He nonchalantly drops down to the ground. Dame's bats shake. The name is pool. Deadpool your ass as our grass ended. Deadpool pretends to check his watch. Oh four twenty. Deadpool presses play on a boombox which blurs the theme to Martin. He pulls out a gun and shoots the gang leader in the face. Blood splatters everywhere. Damn Gina Deadpool kicks another gang member in the face catches his gun and shoots him in the skull. Sorry not sorry holding. His body takes a Selfie with the remains of the skull. Pausing shoot another gang member in the Dick Gang. Looks down at his bloody crotch mccracken. He likes going peanuts. Drops the ground causing him to scream. Unintelligibly then grabs the severed Dick and holds it to his mouth area like Groucho Marx. I'm sorry I didn't get that. I don't speak DIKLA FAGGOT. Deadpool credentials give a blow job as these rush by the other members of the gang. He reveals a Catanha and cuts. Everyone's head off winning. Deadpool looks at carnage and dabs pulls out a flip phone honey. Can you pull the car around? Deadpool breaks the Fourth Wall and looks at the camera. Oh I didn't see standing there. My name is deadpool. I'm sort of a magnum cum bad ass or summa cum ghetto superstar. Oh who am I kidding? I just like saying come. Here's a story. I was dying but I got an offer if I took part in shady experiment for some Super Smart in Super Evil Douche Nozzles. I would become immortal so I did it. And then I became a superhero. No Ankle Ben. No kryptonite nothing. That would make me interesting. I prefer being self aware prick. Deadpool begins to do basketball tricks with a severed head as the Harlem globetrotter whistle. Plays the best thing about being immortal. I can break the fourth wall. Eight a coup feel exact Morris except. I still haven't had the chance to show Kelly capacity my oath face L. L. Office space. Does I can beat up bad guys without worrying. I'M GONNA die those being able to think of funny things to say like open bullet wounds style or Obama's fault before I kill somebody. I think Tony Stark say something cooler than that. I'm aware of Tony Stark. And the third best thing about being mortal sum forty one's fat lip Blair's the muscle car pulls up driven by ties with a few Bikini Babes in the back seat. You can stay in college as long as you want. Deadpool walks up to the window. Degree Tas is Indian. Best friend who speaks with a thick accent and dresses. Like a nerd. Hey ties you little pimp locking legs swapping Chutney with these hotties Hon dopey deadpool. They'll be like thank you come again. Thank you come again. You toss has a bit more of a thick accent can we? Can we take that again? Yeah tells you little pimp logging leg swapping Chutney with these hotties tonight? Hon Dopey Deadpool. They'll be like thank. You come again thank you come again. I'll say Taj is actually thicker accident They're they're Pooh. Nannies will be speaking Punjabi soldier. Boy Tellem deadpool turns to camera. What am I met He was a nerdy exchange soon. Then never let lose now. He's a nerdy exchange shoot. That's drowning in muff. I've never been so proud Hey Tonight's party will be lit. Have you finished? Your Superhero duties duties. Oh pitches we have some kegs. Pickup deadpool's about to hop in the car then stops grabs a teddy bear and rips open the head revealing the cocaine he dabs. I'm with COCO. Hey you might stop by Walgreens House. I was thinking of thinking of making shish kebabs aware of Wolverine Deadpool. Hops in the car is at speeds off leaving a trail of smoke in cocaine in the wind. Interior Dean's office. The Dean is pacing back and forth. His aides stands by nervously thunder strikes. He's throwing a party alert. The authorities to cast the aid the problem with that series that the authorities love deadpool. He kills all the bad guys so they turn a blind eye to his wild parties. How old is he anyway? I feel like he's been a problem for us. For years is a super-duper senior. He's been in college for seven years. Well tonight's his last night as a student here at fucks. Worth University Exterior Raider. Deadpool makes his way through the party wearing a Toga and wearing a mask a mask with a Straw poll. That goes into his coconut drink. He greets the guests as Tub. Thumping blares loudly queasy. Good to see you. Hey Penis breath you got a little. Mayo on your lips. I hope becky with the good hair. Go easy on that lemonade. Whoa MG K. Rapper machine gun. Kelly appears in high. Fives deadpool thanks for coming. I hope you do a track off of black flag later tonight and keep the dance floor open for Teenage Mutant. Ninja Turtle over there. I hear he's a party dude. Camera cuts to teenage mutant. Ninja Turtle. Break-dancing cow Deadpool CORRECTS him. Actually if Jumbo Wamba also I am aware of you Jason Mewes Anymo- Nakas doctor strange appear. Hashtag squad cut sue interior bedroom. Taj is making out with a sexy girl. I am Indian. I'm the master of the Kama Sutra. Whatever it's racist now. Let me get some massage. Oil Cut to exterior Raider Asha Ross. I love colleges blasting as Deadpool hops to the top of t s does deejay booth with a microphone. Hey Fram thanks everybody for coming for the for coming for the seven th annual bloated belly beer bash the battle Mia deadpool bitch everyone shares. I WanNa thank all my friends for joining me on this momentous occasion Blake Griffin Jake. Busy even all blew over there. Getting Jay owed cut to Stanley getting a hand off from two lesbians. He's getting close. The cops are busy with the pile of severed heads. I left them so this party will be lit all night. Long bird records stops. No at wants. This building is campus property and thus I have the authority authority. Shut this data. If I feel like it and I feel like it. Deadpool turns to camera. This is the part of the job I just hate. Deadpool pulls out his sword and slices the Dean's Belton Half. That's the best mighty deadpool can do. Flash MY JOSEPH BANKS BELT IN HALF. CaN'T BE BLAMED FOR TIMING FIVE FOUR. Three houses applied massage girls back and jumps on her back. He immediately sides off through the window. Exterior Razor Taj flies out the window head first and the deans but knocking him right into Stanley's Crotch is he chooses into the Dean's face excelsior. I also forgot to mention that The sign that says Foxworth University of the Swerve and -versity of breaks. So it just says fuck you and then. The crowd cheers as turned down for what plays the crowd is chanting deadpool's name as he dabs again. The Dean's dead body starts shaking. His toddler tries to remove his head he again. Hey Dean I hope they serve beer in hell spoiler alert. I'm insufferable laid by James. Plays as the credits roll. Wow we did. They made a movie Had A see where he does? The Fares dealer thing at the end but I took it because I really see. Does it in the movie? I I looked it up. It was like Deadpool Ferris Bueller. And there's actually. Yeah what are you doing here at the end of the credits of deadpool shows up in a robe like Ferris Bueller at the end of Chinese. I do that in a second. Revision of cool. We'll abby idiot. You're so good at playing James. Oh cool yeah. It's called Jimmy. You're dabbling so defensive defense mechanism. Don't hit my eyes. All right thanks everybody. Yeah see next year. I'm glad to stick on my dab jokes in there For it's not funny for another three years DAB jokes I I was GonNa say I love how the direction for all upset pools lines sarcastic parenthetical after his name every single snakes. You nailed it. Hey Buddy a podcast network.

Kevin Smith Jay The Times Bob Johnson Bob New York City New Jersey Missouri Kyle Dot Denver Los Angeles Brad Davis Pat Byrne Kevin Federal Line Brett Davis Bob Reboot Dante Randal twitter instagram Sara Schaefer
2020 New Hampshire Primary - Bernie Sanders's Win and Amy Klobuchar's "Klomentum" | Lakeith Stanfield (Rebroadcast)

The Daily Show with Trevor Noah: Ears Edition

25:22 min | 6 months ago

2020 New Hampshire Primary - Bernie Sanders's Win and Amy Klobuchar's "Klomentum" | Lakeith Stanfield (Rebroadcast)

"You'RE LISTENING TO COMEDY CENTRAL. Two Thousand Twenty from comedy central's World News Headquarters in New York. This is the daily show with Trevor Noah. Yours tuning coming out. Let's take a show. I'm Trevor Noah. Our guest tonight is one of the hardest working actors around you know him from Atlanta Knives Out. Get Out and the new movie. The photograph locate Stanfield is termites show. The Democratic Party is getting real. The titanic is in trouble and jussie. Smollet is making a sequel. So let's catch up on today's headlines. Let's kick it off with Jussie Smollet Empire Actor and Black Pinocchio a year ago. He told an incredible story about being jumped on the street. By to trump supporters. And now someone might finally go to jail for that attack the dramatic new turn. That's thrust the Jussie smollet case back into the spotlight. That's right. He's once again facing charges in Chicago for claiming he was the victim of a hate crime attack this morning. Small Lettuce facing six charges of disorderly conduct for lying to police the move a stunning reversal. After prosecutors dropped all sixteen charges the actor originally faced. In this new indictment the special prosecutor's office says small let made numerous false statements to Chicago police on multiple occasions reporting a heinous hate. Crime that he in fact knew had not occurred. Yes jussie smollet is back in the headlines. This time for being indicted over reporting a fake hate crime and it really sounds bad until you remember that his plan all along was to get a recurring storyline. That doesn't go away so he kinda wanted you know. This is what he wanted. And I know what Jesse did was wrong. But I won't let at the same time. I kind of feel bad for him because he gets into trouble now for calling and fake crimes but those permanent patties who made those Bush tonight on one. They live their lives. It is in fact. Maybe maybe that should be just as punishment he should be forced to get a white lady. Nickname should be everywhere. He goes people like well. Well well there goes subway SMA. Let's let's move on to Roger Stone trump campaign aide and the monopoly man's cocaine dealer this week he was about to be sentenced for lying to the FBI and threatening witnesses. But luckily he's got friends in oval places late tonight all four federal prosecutors on the Rogers Stone case of quit after the department undercut their recommended sentence. Just yesterday those career prosecutors recommended he gets seven to nine years behind bars but late tonight the DOJ in a filing calling the initial recommendation excessive and unwarranted. Just hours after president trump tweeted overnight blasting. The sentence prosecutors initially recommended as horrible and very unfair. The president denied. He had anything to do with it. You seem from your tweet today. The two are upset about the riverstone. Sentencing ridiculous did you ask the Justice Department because it just? I'd be able to do it if I wanted to have the absolute right to do it. I stay out of things to a degree. That people wouldn't believe that's right. That's right Istat on things out of everything. Intelligence Briefing Church Milanez Bedroom. Seattle was actually crazy. What happened here. The Justice Department's recommended Roger Stone. Get seven to nine years in prison. Right trump than tweets that their recommendation is too harsh. So they've been canceled their recommendation and then trump says he's totally staying out of it. That's not what he did he staying out of it the same way. The KOOL aid man stays out of a room door onell because he doesn't think trump is acting like his twitter account. Con Influence. The Justice Department like they can't see his tweets. Someone's saying I didn't ask her to marry me I just have. Will you marry me? Written in the Sky. Anybody could have said yes. Anybody and not only was it wrong for trump to get involved in his friend's case. It was also totally unnecessary. Because there's one person who looks like he can break out of prison his own. It's this guy. Finally you guys remember. How the titanic crashed. Well it happened again. A new report claims the wreck of the titanic was hit by a submarine last year with the. Us government kept it a secret. That's according to legal documents review by the British newspaper. The Telegraph says a thirty five million dollar underwater vehicle hit the titanic wreckage in July. It comes ahead of what could be a landmark court battle over the future of the wreckage. This is insane. The titanic was involved in another crash. Nationwide premiums totally going through the roof. Man I'm glad that no one was hurt because how would you explain that to people like Brian died in the titanic? Yeah this year this year. Yeah Titanic versus submarine is such a weird story. I mean technically. The Titanic is also submarine. Really any ship can be a submarine of your captain is Shitty enough. When you think about it you know what would be crazy though is if getting hit makes the titanic on sink like that could be a rule. If you crash you go down if you crash again you get to come up. Looks up to the top and then back up on the surface. Everything live iceberg. Shows up like well well. Who Did you learn Dan? Neff said all right. That's the headlines. Listen to our top stories yesterday. The second Democratic primary took place in New Hampshire the home of the White Mountains and the state that looks like Canada's but plug and the results may have changed the race for president in major ways. So let's take a look at the fallout in our ongoing segments would be coming out of the Iowa primary the big winners were Bernie Sanders Pete. Budaj and anyone who didn't build that Shitty APP and last night in New Hampshire those top two kept them momentum going with a win in New Hampshire Senator Bernie Sanders taking control as the Democratic Front runner but not too far behind him. He Buddha J. Despite winning the popular vote in both Iowa and New Hampshire Sanders is behind in the overall delegate race by two one of the other big winners Senator Amy Klobuchar who took third place. She capitalized on the moment by reintroducing herself to the country. Hello America. I'm Amy Clovis Shar and I will be Donald Trump. Yes last night may have been the best night for Bernie Sanders since he won that free cruise. Noah's Ark Bucks New Hampshire's biggest surprise. Was Amy Klobuchar. Who burst into the national spotlight with a third place. Finish and the timing couldn't be better for closure because in many ways you see. The presidential campaigns are like getting drunk at a party. You want to peek at the right time. See the other candidates. They had their surge last year. Which is too early. It's like getting wasted at six PM by the time the parties really going you puking in the bushes won't absorb Zari base myself. Brazil do veterans of guarantee. So there's no denying that New Hampshire was great for Amy Klobuchar campaign and it was also a great night for news. People who love wordplay Senator Amy Closure road the claw mental are you feeling? Clo- momentum is real and she has it Kloba surge flow mental Fomento club mental clovio charged. Clovio verge. They call a clue motion. Is there clemente him? Oh this is fun I WANNA TRY. I want to try. It's chlorine tie. Yeah yeah she gave them the old Kluber Dope. Yeah New Hampshire has an outbreak of PLO media. All right I'm done I'm done I'm done. She killed like Clo- J Simpson. Okay I'm done I'm done. I'm done no more. No more. No more. So for Bernie Budaj and Clover Sean. New Hampshire was a dream but unfortunately for some other big name candidates. It turned into a nightmare. Another major New Hampshire headline the candidates who fell far behind including longtime national front runner. Joe Biden and Senator Elizabeth. Warren both failed to get enough votes to earn any delegates before the race was called. Biden who placed fifth was on a plane to South Carolina which will hold the nation's next primary Biden saw the writing on the wall he had left even before the polls had closed live streaming into his campaign's New Hampshire Watch party. Oh Joe Biden left New Hampshire before the polls even closed fans leaving the game early. But you know it's bad when the team leaves early to beat the traffic. The coaches just like our guys. Screw the fourth quarter. Let's just start the bus? I also feel especially bad for Biden. Supporters say that I think about it. You came all the way out to see your candidate and then instead all you get is a video. Imagine you in the dentist chair and your doctor POPs up on the screen like Aloha from Hawaii here. Three simple steps to perform your own root canal so while Biden. Supporters wept frozen New Hampshire tears. The man himself was already in South Carolina looking toward the future. Joe Biden spent his night in South Carolina his campaign is staking survival on his strength with black voters. Our throw figure number ninety nine point nine percent. That's the percentage of African American voters who have not yet had a chance to vote in America up till now we haven't heard from the most committed constituency party the African American. That's right Joe. Biden's campaign has basically become a Medina movie. Black people don't turn up it's toast and even though he's desperate. Biden doesn't make a good point. It is a little weird you have to admit. It is a little weird that the story of the Democratic race has now been written by two states that aren't representative of the Democratic Party. I think about it too. Overwhelmingly white states shape who the Democratic nominee will be. Then that's long before minority. Voters have had their say. It's almost as if the Democratic Party is having a buffet but then white people get to pick them in you know and if you black that sucks 'cause you get you just like what the hell is they're raising everything man Broccoli Rob. So that's where the race stands off the two primaries Budaj and Bernie neck and neck and all the other candidates are hoping for a boost in Nevada and South Carolina. Now if you'll excuse me it's time for us to go away for a Clo- Marshall break we're back support for this podcast in the following message. Come from National Lampoon Radio Hour the podcast on spotify a brand new sketch show from national lampoon and a reboot of the iconic nineteen Seventies Radio. Sketch show where comedy legends like. Gilda Radner Bill. Murray and John Belushi got their start. National Lampoon Radio hour the podcast features sketches performed by the next wave of incredible. Comedians Colas Gola. Joe Firestone Rachel Pilgrim maeve Higgins Martner Bano Aaron Jackson Laura Ramirez Brett Davis Megan stelter and Alex English plus guest appearances from. Amy Sedaris. Rachel Chris gathered and more search for National Lampoon Radio. Hour the podcast on spotify in. Listen to the entire season for free. The New Hampshire primary gave life to Bernie Pete's and Amy Klobuchar while the New Hampshire. Give us it also takes away. The race is getting smaller. As of last night's results we did see the suspension or termination of presidential campaigns by Andrew. Yang and senator. Michael Bennet tonight is not going to be our night. But let me say this to New Hampshire. You may see me once again. You know I am the math guy and it is clear tonight from the numbers that we are not going to win this race. We'll be back soon in the meantime though thank you all God bless you and God bless United States of America. I'M NOT GONNA lie. I get white. Candidates always say they'll be back when they know they won't lose. But why not? Just be honest. You know why. I'll just be like New Hampshire. You guys are never going to see me again. This is the same problem with movie villains. You can only have fallen off a cliff building at the end of the show. You won't no you won't like it would be nice if honest just like you and your family are safe forever. But even though he's Gone Andrew Yang did leave a lasting impression on the two thousand twenty race. His plan for universal basic income made a big splash and even had an impact in the real world. You see he gave several families a thousand dollars a month for year to test out his plan and we send any change. Find out how it went yesterday. Andrew Yang dropped off the twenty twenty presidential race. And I'm a little sad about last year. I met him in person and there was just something about the guy that may be trusted not to mention. I really wanted that. Free Money Yours promising. Every American adult at the age of eighteen should get a thousand dollars a month free and clear from the government to do whatever they want making it ray. It's gone EUBOEA or universal basic income and although the dream died with Yanks campaign a few lucky families did get a thousand dollars a month for a year as a test program. Like the Fassi family of New Hampshire basically. He gave us a check for thousand dollars a month from January until December of two thousand. We went to his New Year's Eve party. And so that's how we got. Our first check was at midnight. Royal Check and give it to you physically and then after probably three months. He was getting really busy forgotten. Forgotten about us what he did he did. Palin TIME YEAH. It was very odd sending out a message like hey you owe us money so you guys will always my free money. We said it might much light nicer than that. Oh yeah so it was my free money so how did Chuck Jody Ball? Out With twelve thousand dollars. Did you buy a tesla? Snowmobile by Tesla. Snowmobile now I spent ninety percent of it on our daughter's college tuition college tuition. I guess that's pretty good. What else spent a little bit on groceries buying some healthier choices computer and some soil Yoga Yoga and Kabuchiko for shitting digestion? So No that. The money stopped. You must be pretty backed up right. Luckily Projects Colon. He was so inspired by his experience that he would the brew his own. Khumbu what is it? It's a big blob of bacteria that's been sitting in some entity in my bathroom for about six weeks. Bathroom juice aside. These people spend on college groceries and paying bills. What a bunch of idiots. It's like you never know what flexing means you guys could be in head to Toe Supreme Right now. You know what supreme is now. That's how you flex your neighbors and make them jealous. That's the monies for Chuck. Okay Jodi but believe it or not falling out is the last thing on most Americans minds half of American adults. They can't even cover an unexpected four hundred dollars expense. Clearly if you give people a thousand dollars a month they will spend on the city's with a few exceptions. What was your by Join Improv? Classes have been doing that for the last. You took Improv classes. Mindful Improv classes means. We do self appreciations we do vulnerability. It's taught by Yoga teacher. Oh my God anger. Yang may be out of the presidential race but his ideas live on an Americans deserve a shot at universal basic income. Well maybe not. All Americans lost my hand. I hit my guest. Tonight is an amazing actor. You know from get out. Sorry to bother you and uncut gems. His new movie is called the photograph. Please welcome Likud stanfield. The show. Beautiful grow the pitches of the screams. Unusually that high. Although I feel you're used to that before we get into this movie in particular. Is it safe to say that you are the least type cost actor in Hollywood? Because like if I think of all the movies that you're on with its uncut gems you know whether whether it's like get out get out like that was an extreme feats of acting because you're playing a black man who was a white man at one point who used to be a black man. That's powerful nominee. People can do that. Yeah well I appreciate it. I would hope I was These type casts actors. We we don't like that you want you want to be in as many different roles as possible. And that's something you've achieved do you. Purposefully choose your scripts like that. So you go. I'm going to go from one movie to another type. You don't just stay in one John kind of try to pick things that speak to me so as I grow the kind of things I'm attracted to in effect me kind of Sort of expand. Right yeah I just I just try and be closer to the things that that means something. And I've been very fortunate to be a part of a whole bunch of different kinds of projects. Not Not not many actors would take the chance of going into a ROM com. You know because it's it's it's it's it's scary when you've gone from drama comedy's difficult in a romantic comedies. In many ways people are saying you bring them back now. You know it's been like what fifteen years since we live through the golden age of black romantic comedies. Thin Line between love and hate with a you know like movies love and basketball etc. Are you seeing on screen to amazing actors? The people love it's yourself an ESA Is is that part of the reason. You chose the movie where you were like. Oh yeah this is. This is like for this generation that it was. I wanted to see a resurgence of dark skin level. Onscreen does a big part of it but the story was written very well and when I work with Easter I wanted to work with Stella and so everything fell into place in a nice way. You you've been called one of the mavericks of the Red Carpet just by people you know most people most of us. When we're on a red carpet we try and look like appropriate for the carpet like we were like stand up and do you. You have broken red carpet multiple times like you get there and you just do your own thing. You sat down. She just sat there at the Emmys and then I think there was another red carpet. Where Yeah you just came in right in a ski mosque right and then one of my favorites is that the joker per major showed up as you do. You don't take it you don't take it seriously at all. Reason just got to be comfortable Man Right. Do Things your way and you know you Gotta. Joy Yourself these the most important thing sometimes. It's a little bit too high strung and in stressful tried to appease everybody. So you've got to have fun and then one my legs were just tired. So I said the where your legs were tired like. Just from standing on it was a lot of interviews going up now. Let me take a seat record like that about you. Got This swag about you. We just like I was going to do my thing. You've got to go through stressful maker. Isa's in the movie. She's one of the funniest people both like scripted and off the cuff The two of you. Are you playing back and forth together? I've always wanted this when you're in a movie like this. Is there a point where you find yourself like by mistake falling in love you opposite? I've always genuinely. I've always wanted that like when you when you in a romantic movie with somebody. Yeah think you're trying to design connection. That will translate on camera so I think trying to get into a flow with the person that break down the barriers of What you don't know and instant tap into what you do know which is sort of universal spirit so that way when the cameras come on. There's a natural thing going on. So here's this report breaking down. The ice cracking jokes kicking back. You know what I mean relaxing and then when you get on screen. It looks like you guys have known each other you know. There's different ways that shipping editing. Getting but I think the main best way to do this this trust get in their trust fall go in naked emotionally so to speak. I've director to say about your acting specifically that what makes the Keith special is that you don't care about what you look like on screen you care about putting the character getting the character cross you. You've been asking since you were like what fourteen maybe even earlier in life witty. Where do you develop that front where you just wake up and go no? I'm I'm fully in this. I'm not look Ethan. This moment I'm fully this person and I don't care what I look like. I care what the person sees. I'm a little crazy but also I think it's You know first of all. It's it's appealing to the story. The story is the most important thing and the characters come secondary and I look like really ain't got nothing to do with nothing so just kind. Try to focus on the job and execute like that's a bit but if I need to be worried about what looked like were you know ends on what's necessary. Where where do you go from here? Because I mean you've been in I guess like a thriller slash you've been in an action. You've been surreal dark comedies. You've been in romantic comedies. Where is that something you want to do that? You haven't done. Is it like a dream project? You Have Yeah. I think my dream project is the one I have coming out It's an untitled. Fred Hampton project. A deal with shocker. King Daniel Clues Co Star and it's just a beautiful story. That's about this guy who really fought for our freedom and our love and our ability to to love and express the way we want to and those are the kinds of things. I want to be a part of talk about something and say something to me some when I got option to. That's what I WANNA do. So that's Marker Project. I'm excited to see you in this movie. I'm excited to see what you do for the rest of the career. I have money on you beating Samuel Jackson's record for the most movies you might. That'd be far. Thank you so much for being on the show. Great having you here. We'll be in February Fourteenth Valentine's the center the daily show with criminal ears addition watching the show weeknights at eleven ten central on comedy central and comedy central watchable episodes and videos at the daily show dot com follow us on facebook twitter and instagram and subscribe to the daily show on. Youtube exclusive content. And more this has been a comedy central podcast.

New Hampshire Joe Biden Amy Klobuchar Bernie Budaj Donald Trump Democratic Party America Andrew Yang Trevor Noah South Carolina Likud stanfield United States president Justice Department Senator Bernie Sanders Chicago Bernie Sanders Pete Jussie Smollet Empire Senator New Hampshire
#1075 Van Nuys, Van Nuys!

The Adam and Dr. Drew Show

00:00 sec | 1 year ago

#1075 Van Nuys, Van Nuys!

"Thanks for listening to the atom. And Dr drew show on podcast one pay check for the big podcast and the NBA playoffs are in full gear. Every play every moment every game means that much more as I've been saying for months, Jon Benet, Jon dot AG is the place to get an all this action. Sign up today for free account. Use promo code podcast one for your fifty percent signing bonus. Can anyone slowdown? Golden State is no walkie the real deal. Yes. I think they are how far can Houston Boston go Toronto. Don't miss out AG Susa part of the podcast one sports net and your online sportsbook experts realm in whether you having knee injury. Most guys, you know, something some hurting rebel little dirt on it. They walk it off. They don't want to see a doctor. That's how guys are wired seventy percent of guys with erectile dysfunction. Don't get treated Roman as a one stop shop or license US physicians. Diagnose AD and ship medication to your door. No waiting rooms. No awkward face to face conversations or uncomfortable pharmacy trips. Visit get Roman dot com slash ADS. Fill out a brief medical on boarding chat with the doctor and get genuine medication delivered to your door in discrete unmarked packaging. So for free online. Visit go to get Roman dot com slash ADS. That's get Roman dot com slash ADS for a free online. Visit but farmers insurance. We know a roof can withstand a lot. Exception being an airborne car seen it covered. It click for more. We are. Underwritten by farmer's truck. Fire insurance exchanges and affiliates products, unavailable in every state. Recorded live at Corolla one studios with Adam Corolla and board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Dr drew Pinski. You're listening to the atom and Dr drew show get it on my own. Tractors. Miserable. I said, I think I am. So now, I am okay. They are living live truth as addiction medicine special. Yeah. I mean, if you say, you are you must be well, my heart-to-heart world, we live in your heart. You are. I am. I wanna thank get Roman dot com slash ADS for this show. Lifelock dot com promo code, Adam, truecar dot com and Pluto TV. Got a question. We'll get to in a second sit drew. Yeah. First time, I've had this dot, but a really real controlled thing. Yeah. Control. Yeah. I've realized what the difference between what I do in the front of the office in the front of my building. Where all the stuff is going on all the creative stuff. And what goes on in the back of the in the background, the autumn motive stuff is going on. And I realize in the front it's a lot of. We didn't get into Sundance. Why not movies great? They're not. I don't know. They're not doing it. What about Tribeca? Now. They're not doing it. Either him. What about Netflix? Everybody sent now. But it's good good as anything they deliver. They put out. Yeah. They passed. Then there's a lot of it's like I love building the building part. I don't like when you go to the city of locker Senna, and they go put chain link fences around those oak trees, and I go about we just put some orange mash around now chain link there up on a hill. You can't get to 'em. Now, they're nowhere near worm building. Now. But the chain link why that way my whole fucking point. I I I'd even. I don't even know that was possible for you to tell me what to do on my own property and fires the trees go. But the ones I can't get to why do after put chain link around. So we're going to climb the fence and get to the roots. I'm putting orange mash around them. It's a lot easier and faster and more visible, but you need chain link or you're not gonna sign off on the permit users. Oh, it's. It's insane. It's in Saint do you push back. What he say? Well, we're going to go cross the street. There's nothing. They answer is. No, we don't sign off on. It lets you go put chain link. That's how it works. Now. Building is wildly rewarding that makes you wanna kill yourself. And I realize when you're dealing with all the other facets of life. You're you're at the mercy of people in your often at the mercy. It's the department of building and safety, you're fucked. No control, you no control if no control. You know? You're right. You know, your tax payer. You're know, you're safe. You know, you're qualified. You know, you're good in the answers. Now, you'll get it all the time for nothing for no reason, it doesn't make sense. And obviously, the less sense. It makes the more out of control you feel and that's what you get in the government. And that's what you oftentimes get in society. When you go to the back of the shop, you're in one hundred percent control doesn't mean it's going to go good. It's gonna go as good as you are good. I mean, when I sit down with Sean, and I start talking about what is going on with the suspension of this car, and he's explaining he's gonna make new control arms that are shorter and the ball joints is going to pull the more camber into it or whatever it is. You go. Okay. He's good. And he's in control. And he's going to go over there on that lane is gonna make himself some control arms, and he's coin to go back and put them on the car, and I feel completely good about it. And so does he. Because the rest of the world you'd have the department of building safety showing up and going, oh, you went to control arms. Let me ask my supervisor. Then they've come back and go, no control arms, and you go why not go. Well, you can petition for thing. But there is no. You come up, you know, when you come up with an alcohol, and as I told you before when you come out with a label for the alcoholic. The I hit our sponsors top here. I'm so sorry. I don't watch this speech traffic singer, Kamala, Harris, if you did that my fault. It's actually my fault. I always tell them to clear, so it's everyone's mind. That's correct. And it's true. Especially your thought nothing now. Listen thought wrong you go. That's something. Okay. So long as it's wrong your loud to think you go. I started thinking about it think about all that's going on on Facebook. And all this stuff. People being pulled off all the censorship. When you come out with an alcohol brand, you have a lengthly and somewhat expensive process of getting your label approved you have to get your label approved by the ATF, essentially, and they tell you they don't tell you. But the people you're dealing with tell you making your wine or whatever it is like. Look if there's something they don't like about the label. They'll just reject it. And they won't tell you. What's wrong with it? And they can reject anything for any reason. And then they don't have to explain it to you. And they won't. And then you just get back in line you to sign up and resubmitted in two months, but there's not gonna be there's no negotiating, and there's no anything like, you know, I literally said, oh, I was doing a sort of cutesy one on the back label of. The first the first one I wrote the got rejected was like here's the story of angry. I had some wine I had and I ran out of red wine. So I said I went to the alcohol cabinet, and they're like now don't get say that like. I have an alcohol cabinet. And that's what I did. Yeah. Not on the label. It was like why? Then a like you talking about alcohol like, I don't know. There's a thing that says alcohol thirteen percent or ninety percent. Like underneath the story. I really can't talk about that. Now. Try something else. Jesus. I was like, okay. He who is in charge of everything. And I have no recourse. What is my recourse lucky on put my own bottle out now? So then the next one is June peach pear, white assume the white, and I said, you know, this is for the, ladies or something. But I said this. This peach of a gal with a great pair, you know, they'll peach bear. But watch out fellas. She packs a punch now can't allude to it being strong or whatever. And I'm like why why why not it's alcohol? I'm telling people care if the Saint regular saying green nine percent. This is. Eighteen nineteen percent. Twenty percent, this pack. Watch outs. Packs a punch not. Change it Jesus. At least they told you what needs to be changed. Yes. In that case. They did you can't say you can't allude to what it does. Can you just change it? And they'll go k now through I don't I don't know shit. That's flammable, says flammable all over here. You know what I mean? This is our Kahal to be consumed. It seems negligent to not say what it'll do the point is they don't know. And they don't care that just go. Fuck it. I get paid. Whether I accept it or reject it. So they don't care, and that's what you get. And that's why you don't want these people to have as much power. They do not wheels. Now, I love me some wheels. Have a funny clip for Kamala Harris poll up for Austin van is about oil. Hey, what's up mystical allow or doing? Well. Sorry about van is. Man is just great brother. Then is just great. Do you ever make? Shop fan is shit gonna bring Tara Maria some fancy car you got down there. You're gonna bring you're gonna bring it down to our shop. Where are you in van Nuys number told, you can do your wealth change, please fully synthetic sports times for forty bucks that Shurmur one light? Oh, Sherman way. Why he? Fucking horrible. The worst. Well, listen, I I got three shops now. So I got one in Burbank might be a little bit closer to you. And then one in Santa Clarita, also care. Babycare these prices for the customers in the area. Hold on second. There's really funny series of videos ever showed them. They're like pan is. The guy does he puts it to like Dallas, you know, like the theme song from the nineties or eighty and he's like. People fucking shopping carts fallen over and matches this out in the street and bump stagger around. Is this ran is. Who does this guy makes me laugh every time you go back to the beginning? Start. What's his name? The account that this was uploaded to Dr Jedi. The pan is tourism video the fast. If you grow up in the valley, it's the past because ran is is a pile of shit. Now, it wasn't when I was a kid. But yeah, it looks like he goes on online. Everything's Dr Jeff lease I Instagram posts YouTube meeting. I just set up set up the I would just go full screen and give it a second reboot or whatever. But play it for drew. You're gonna laugh here. It's only a minute long. I thought parents was always shit. Hold on. Now. Just a found should grab your shopping. Go into Newtown. Answer the call. Waiting for you. Spend so much to say. On sold on the street as please. Kids to moon bounce battleground they're being every week. Watch out kids for the man and up shit. Oh, he's just laying ice cream. What the bathtub gets health care from STD clan. Or so your crab on the street? Like this truck or just forty dollars or take fees squad cars for free Donald. Or you'll end up like this guy bleeding out on the street. Jaipur too. Wow. So good. Makes me laugh. I don't even laugh at anything. I just I used to teddy Lewis lived in van is like I had friends who lived in van is it was a normal suburb. You could go to van Nuys. Well, one of the things you notice the highlight ride. My bike van is north of. I believe it was our city the city council legalized street sales. So it's on now. Well, I don't know if they legalize they did. Well, no, I know they did that. But I'm saying they never enforced street. And anyway, they didn't care. So it became highly Hispanic. They started selling everything on the street, and no one did anything to Scott worse and worse. He's got some like, I don't know Canoga park ones or he's got there's going on. I do it makes me laugh every time. I'd like to show him to Garcetti and whoever else. The city council was hey, this the pile of shit. You guys preside over how do you feel? Yeah. You watch the video. You're just looking. At Tijuana, essentially, sorry. Okay. You pull it up all the spot Canoga park. Awesome. I want to I don't know what. So satisfying about what is it? The eighties theme song. It his voice is funny. The eighties music is ironic ironic, and then the images are all too familiar. Yeah. Just. Yeah. People pushing shopping carts selling corn. More mayo plays. Now, I gotta get my label on my uncle hall put through the vetting machine. But if you want to sell food on the street and van is that you made in your kitchen. No promise that her botchy out there on the street or make out in the street. Yeah. Why should we regulate that? It's why would you why don't know? It's just things you consume re enterprise Hammond, plus all the tax dollars rolling in from all the corn being sold on street. You know and say no to that. Yeah. They're paying their taxes. Oh, yeah. They wouldn't let them go. They didn't right. Lifelock. Man. Recent study shows global Mao wear rose for the third straight year reaching nearly two hundred seven million attacks in two thousand eighteen up eleven percent. Plus hackers shifting their hiding, ransomware and attach PDF documents lookout the coming after you baby. Today's world your personal info is everywhere. So many ways cybercriminals can take what's yours. Good thing. Lifelock identity theft protection ads the power of Norton security to help protect against threats your devices, you cannot. Easily see or fix on your own. If there's a problem, they're going to work to fix it. But you won't have a problem if you get lifelock. So I suggest you get lifelock, right? Drew nowhere could prevent all our deadly theft or cybercrime module transactions at all businesses. But lifelock security can see threats you might miss on your own go to lifelock dot com or call one eight hundred lifelock from code Adam for ten percent off your first year that is promo code adamant, lifelock dot com or one eight hundred lifelock for ten percent off. So what do they got? They got van is Canoga park. There's too Noga parks Vegas one. I think we'll stick with. But I used to work in Canoga park. So this one's labeled Canoga park one. And then I'll show you would you would you have apart. Oh was in Chatsworth that drive through I build houses and stuff. I used to their old time. Good noga. Komo down for a while. Nato's? Schools or his main export. Hits. Or here or in the stolen used car. Lot yours. Does. Right across from river. Shopping. Stripped down to the high school mascot hasn't done. That the. Ever. I would like to just load these videos up and go down to Garcetti's office and show them into show. What the fuck is going on. What is this is? He didn't make this up on a computer just drive down the street, and you film people and there's fucking people flopped all over the place and shopping carts filled with food and people going through garbage cans is the ugliest shittiest some hard of the world. We're living in it. And so awesome. Right. No. I bothering me. All right. I bothered me. Both standpoint that we have we have to have Canoga park. Do. Let's just watch it. I I'm upset about the people languishing in the streets. I'm upset about what the consequences are going to be set. The quality of life is just just gone. All right. Well, listen more utopia our tax dollars out about. No. Mass transit with tax that. Scotland Yard or Casey's get hit on. If bike you might lose. These guys or that guy. I'm not messing with that guy over there. Come see that fat. Up. Con MI but work, you'll lose your house. Fred. Spend. Eddie turns can't come to. If you want. China. Our? Guy makes me laugh. I met him at a Prager vent. I funny. Funny time that guy. All right. Let's see what was Austin one from all poor awesome me on the van on Austin. Yeah. Again, what's up match? Sorry. You're you're van is me. It's weird. Oh, man, you guys should doing Google serene image thing of wide oak and Sherman way you guys you'll never stop throwing up there. I'd fuck it go there and kill myself. Well, check it out. I mean, the real thing is is you know, what I wanted to ask you about. It's really about synthetic oil all ears more scientific, right? You're you're Greg guys. I don't know what happened that you kinda just missed me. Like like like, you forgot like Ricky red-headed stepchild. No, you're good. You're Ben is a great place. Man. It's where I was born and raised in the. That guy was a great place. It's a shit show now. But you definitely is. You know, I'm kinda sticking out of the, you know, little taco stands on every fucking corner. Don't get me wrong. It's it's it's not it's not the most beautiful city pile of its it's architecturally depleted. It's fucking sad. It was a bunch of cinderblocks ship boxes were built in the sixties and seventies. The architects here is bad. It doesn't look when you go back east, you go to Baltimore, you go to Chicago, you go to whatever Detroit they have urban blind, and they have poverty and homelessness, but at least the fucking roof line is interesting. This is that minus the roof. Why this? The ship boxes that were built that have. No, no, redeeming value at all architecturally and all the poor people and all the drugs and all the food being sold on the street. So it is lose lose and lose. There's something at least quaint charming about some some of these places that had some sort of robust histories, the twenties and thirties, and now it's all falling apart. This everything was built in nineteen seventy one. So it's a shit on shit shell little their ship. Yeah. I don't get me wrong. I love it dearly. Go ahead. Awesome. So by the way, Canoga park video amazing thing that was his first that he did I drink a busy my buddies back in the day. What found amazing amazing video about synthetic oil out of just just real quick. What what what is your take on the validity of synthetic oil synthetic oil is good, and you should use it whenever you can. And the certain engines that are like older, and you have to add zinc and things like that to them because of I don't know of solid lifters and bunch of stuff like that using when you can every time and now you can use in tech on older engines, so I got I got a seventy nine nine thirty five. It's got synthetic in it like you want synthetic every new car has synthetic every old car can have synthetic, but you have to make sure you use the rights and thank for your old car. Joe gibbs. Cbs Joe Gibbs racing makes like synthetic with highs zinc content for your vintage motor for for instance. But do your research on your synthetic get the right synthetic and then use synthetic. That's what I want to say. Okay. Thanks awesome. Yeah. It used to be. There was a sort of mobile one one-size-fits-all great. If your car's newer, whatever it is. But now it's a world where you go online. You do little homework. Find out what works read some of those forms chats and things like that. And then just go get the stuff that's right for you. All right, Gary. Yes, sir. Kamala harris. Yeah. Speaking at the the fight for freedom fund dinner of the Detroit branch of the NWC. ACP looks like this is posted Sunday Monday. But that's just what says here, and I believe this is the section that you'd be interested in his talking about how race is Trump as let's speak truth. And it's a hard truth, and it's a real truth. A hold on Steiner. I go back to the beginning. Drew? Listening. A Matt just imagine. Everybody, Gary, Matt imagine. But just imagine I woke you up from a twenty year coma. Yes. And I just woke you up, and I went this woman. She's an attorney general not turn general issues prosecutor here in California. She's educated. I dunno Harvard or Yale or something are Cory Booker, whomever. You know, here's your resume. She's a she's a licensed attorney. She's a prosecutor for the state of California. She's got a resume this long her education. Harvard Stanford bub-bubba Harvard. Okay. Super Howard Howard. All right. Super -ccomplish. Obviously bright, you don't get to do what she does for living for not brighter. Cory Booker Harvard. What the Sanford went to Cambridge, whatever. And I just woke up from your ten year slumber. And I said. Okay. We have a person in the White House. And this is what the super sober smart person. This is their assessment assessment of that person you've been asleep for twenty years. So I just woke you up, and I went here you go. What would you just hear it as you're hearing it brand new at the feelings would be? Let's speak truth. And it's a hard truth in. It's a real truth, racism, sexism, anti-semitism, Islamaphobia, homophobia, transphobia are real in this country, and these are old forms of hate that have in the last two years received new fuel. This guy in the White House said Neo Nazis were fine people when they marched on Charlottesville. He's a tact communities of color and leaders of color by name. He's denigrated entire countries on the continent of Africa with found language. No, president should speak. Let's speak truth here and today this president is in trying to make America great. He's trying to make America hate. All right now, if you just woke up from your slumber, you'd be like clansman. Yes, you go. Whoa. My god. We'd need us down or. Yeah. It's going on over there. What kind of what we elect right? How did this guy? Get elected. Absolutely. Oh my God. Right. What happened this country? That's what you heard that speech. I would think people like in the streets calling each other names, right? Because look at our resume this very thoughtful sober intelligent person, you'd feel the same way. If you heard Cory Booker, speak and you woke up after twenty years she'd win oh my God. What's going on? But you surely wouldn't think nothing's going on no crisis, right? Do the twenty year experiment with everything you hear and wonder what the fuck is going on. Canoga park. More mayo, please. All right. More truecar true cash offers. That's right. You go to your smartphone. Your computer, enter license plate number watch those card. Details pop-up answer questions and you get an accurate true cash offer from a local truecar certified dealer that fast, and you bring your car in check it out at that truecar certified dealer, and they'll check it out with you. And then you leave your check. That's it. That is how easy it is to get a true cash offer from true car. Now, if you want to trade in you can use truecar to lock in a price for a new or used car on that truecar certified dealers lot, and you know, it's a fair price because they compete for your business, and you know, what the true price because it includes season accessories, and that's it you get a new ride as part of your true cash offer. So when you're ready to experience a better way to sell or trade in your car, and if you trade in and don't forget, it's new or used vehicles that are available a better way to celebrate in your car with that true cash offer check out truecar today. Right. Drift. Yeah. Give us give us a health dip. I I was I wanted to say something about how we have a we we've gotten so caught up. This may be the grist for the next podcast. We've been so caught up in me me me me me, and I'm so special, and I can't take a vaccine because I'm still flight. And I might get hurt. We have a responsibility to each other. We have responsible to take the fucking vaccine. So we don't get this thing and infect other people don't worry about yourself worry about the community you have responsibility that we've gotta get out. We gotta stop thinking about herself and start thinking about other people that we are part of a community with whom we are responsible to we've lost that completely. So I want to get the vaccine last week you need it to get it. Yeah. You can go get it doctors order most most pharmacies. But I'll give it to if you one. Yeah. Give it to me because I just ran a God. This is going to be a disaster. And we are not properly covered. If you're. From nineteen fifty seven to nineteen eighty either get your tighter checked or get the vaccine tighter a blood test to see if you haven't measles antibody floating around. But sometimes simpler, less expensive just get the vaccine it's harmless does not hurt and his nothing zero. And you probably didn't have German measles. You get covered against that too. And that's it go take the damn vaccine as part of your civic duty to everyone else if this thing gets into the homeless population in in in Los Angeles, forget it. I'm gonna go down later tonight and put it in the keystone. I don't think it'll work that way my health tip of the day is I was just at the supermarket, and I was going I want to get something crispy. But I'm I don't want any the flour and the potatoes and the corn and all that stuff. And like they have a whole section at the market at the markets like veggie chips, veggie veggie, pita, veggie, whatever every single one you turn around. We'd flower rice, lower carbohydrate, eighty grams. There's no there's no such thing as veggie pasta veggie anything the closest you're gonna get to string beans veggie pasta. If you guys want something to dip into your walk. That's got a little crunch to it. You gotta get the fried cheese. You gotta basically the kids are virtual venom saying that chippy the thin kind of chip experience. It's it's either cheese. That's just nothing. But cheese, it's been made into a chip. There is no veggie chip. And. By the way, when it comes to labelling stuff, again not into more regulation, but you're calling it veggie chip you have a bunch of pictures of vegetables on the front, and you turn it over. And it's like we'd flower soybeans any back to discuss products and tips and stuff do that. You can also go to an Kroll dot com and see when I'm playing around town this Friday and Saturday Bray improv with Adam Ray, I love that kid. Good time up on stage. Two shows Friday to show Saturday, and you can check out not Taco Bell. Material. My stand up special very proud of it. So I hope you enjoy that chassis high tunes. Everyone else true dot com for the family pods. And also Dr. Next news. Don't forget offbeat with Ricky Anderson and MIR Harris that's say until next time. Doctors say Mahal. Mahal? This is Corolla digital. Ludo TV the leading free streaming television service watch over one hundred channels and thousands of movies on demand completely free. Pluto TV never ask for credit card. You don't even need to sign up to watch for free political is easy. It's completely legal. And it's the best way to watch your favorite TV shows and hit movies for free in never pay for TV again by downloading Pluto, TV not sure what you're waiting for. You can be rolling in a matter of moments. Download Pluto TV for free on all your favorite devices. Do it today, including your phone and Roku Amazon fire TV apple TV, smart TV's PlayStations than anywhere else. You stream and also don't forget about my channel chassis say S Y chassis channel number five. Oh one. It is the best. It is pollu- TV. Grand Canyon university is eras premier private Christian university committed to providing next generation education. G C you offers over two hundred academic programs. Many in high demand fields across nine colleges. We keep our rigorous curriculum relevant by partnering with industry leaders advisory boards. Earn your degree online in the evening. Poor on our vibrant, Phoenix campus. Find your purpose GC where advanced technologies drive to drive. It. Christian affordable nonprofit, visit dot EDU China, trade and farmers. I'm Tim Maguire, the AP news minute. The escalating trade war between the US and China causing real concerns on American farms, Ohio farmer. Brett Davis says he and others are losing tens of thousands of dollars because of the tariffs one out of every three rows of soybeans that we raise here in America in the pathway around the world in China, President Trump tells reporters before he left for Louisiana. He's confident in reaching a deal with China. What you wanna know something you wanna know something we always win. His administration is prepping another twenty five percent tariff on another three hundred billion dollars in Chinese goods, including many household items and clothing sources say the Senate intelligence committee as an agreement for a private interview with Donald Trump junior ending the fight over previous Pena, the president's oldest son. He's expected to meet with the committee for up to four hours in the middle of next month. I'm Tim Maguire.

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R.L. Stine's The Snowman

Teen Creeps

1:01:41 hr | 6 months ago

R.L. Stine's The Snowman

"A cold blooded killer. Let's go podcasts. Rl Stein the snowman. Welcome to increase the PODCAST that discusses trashy teen horror. I'm one of your host Lindsay. GEHT die I'm not the one of your hosts Kelly nugent and today they were talking about. Rl Stein this snowman. A point horror the point horror book. Yeah what what what what was that. So what do you want to read the back of the book. Yeah I do I. I'm sorry I got distracted because because I started reading because it's let it snow. Let it snow. Let it dot dot dot heather. Heather feels cold board there. Yeah Heather feels cold all the time. No she doesn't alone. Her Guardian hates her. He liked to see her dead. He'd like all her money but for now he settles for controlling it and making heather's life miserable poor little rich girl just like Cinderella. Then the gorgeous ice ace blond guy shows up at the crummy restaurant where heather works after school. He understands about heather. He's Prince charming. No one can get together now. Heather Heather feel so safe so loved so warm. Data dot eight never talks about other being cold all the time. She's not called all the time. That's not a thing. She lives with her uncle and her aunt. Yeah she's lived with him since she was three right weird. Yeah it's weird because because it feels like they have a relationship that's like renew. Yeah I thought that too and I thought that from the back of the book yeah that it was like her parents just died ride. Gee just got sent to the Guardian. I thought it was going to be a bigger saying of him trying to get rid of her he just like his mean he just mean I mean just mean and like she thinks maybe he stealing her money but like that is not how trust funds work they will be very specific way. Nobody else can in touch that money. Yeah it also shows an Acetate. Yeah he's not. He's not trying to take her money. He doesn't let her spend her money. Yeah but like. She doesn't get it until a certain age. That's also trust funds work. She's not eighteen yet. Ah Question Mark Yeah She's not alone she's got a boyfriend and a best friend yeah Her boyfriend is Ben Ben and her best friend. Is Kim Cam who as Chunky. Yeah and when we first meet her wearing so many sweaters that she looked almost round. Yeah Classic Trope And for some reason he seems really focused on the fact that Kim's voices like raspy yeah. It's a very unique and horse and raspy. He just talks about it all the time. It has no bearing on anything. No you know what else did not have any bearing on anything. I do not think. Think correct me if I'm wrong so okay now what you're about to say. When she gets into the car with Ben he's trying to put on a seat belt and he's a lot of trouble buckling uh-huh and then he has a lot of trouble taking it out design? have any okay because I saw it. I was like maybe no. That's not what I thought you were about. That would be weird because that is so nothing. Yeah like so at the beach so it never gets used never ever in. I just remember reading at me like Oh that would be a good place to like. He is very specific about I. It's very specific. Be Like Oh and then no. She's just like annoyed with him because she feels guilty. Yeah for agree to the date. With Snow Snowman Snowman Snowman Okay so we start off the book. She's making out with Ben. In Ben's car article comes out shames. Her calls her a tramp makes her go inside. She's mad. She goes to work at the diner at the mall that she works at. She sees her friend friend. Came Real Quick Kim leaves. She hates her life. Enter Snowman Snowman is not. Do you want to read what we picture no at all. No because the book is called the Snowman has a picture of a snowman on it. Yes so you would think oh maybe snowman. I think maybe we because of the fact that we read the stranger and it turns out the a stranger was a cave. Yeah I thought maybe he was going to be a snowman snowman. Well especially because but no. He's he is in fact a murderer like we thought the stranger was going to be. Yeah and he's a murderer His okay so she's like waiting tables At her job which she hates and This like really intriguing. Young man catches her attention. And this is how it begins. Oh sorry I didn't mean to scare you. Heather stared at the boy waiting for her heart to stop pounding because he had the most amazing hair. It was pure white not blonde not silver pure white it. It was parted in the middle and fell in waves down to his caller. It was even more startling because the boys features were dark. His skin was ready almost hand. His eyes were dark brown. He had the most adorable cleft in his Chen. Heather just stared at him. He may have been the most handsome boy. She never Seen this description Joanna saw hideous either join us on like long long here Robert Durst like like short guys and like white and Tan. And he's totally. Yeah ten with Dirk feature tanny white hair long white hair Julian in forbidden gain. No no this is hand boy who should have brown hair or black hair. Yeah but he has white hair even unlike long white hair. Yeah men little me like because she kept being like the white hair and the black is. I was like literally picturing like snow. You kept saying like any. Where's red scammers scarf? And he's like people. We'll call me snowman and I was like what people who like. Also he was so much of a weird fake red herring that like it worked. We shocked when he turned out to be bad because he was like. I understand you and all of his he was nothing nothing but nice all the time and also his lies were very obviously faked like he was like listen. My parents aren't around and like my dad. Used to be like your uncle but I took take care of him anyway. And you're like Oh you kill them. Yeah and MOM's a nurse. My mom and my brother is sick with the kidney thing that I can't tell you what it is. Also he keeps making her buy him lunch and he's like oh I just don't have my wallet and and she's like that's okay. You can pay me back later. And then he takes on a date and then he's like Oh let's go on the date and then at the date he's like I can't pay okay and she's like that's okay. I'll pay for it and he's like thanks. Well in that instance they just split it they do just split it so yes some money. I thought it was weird to set up this pattern of. She pays for everything but then in that moment like no they split it is what it and then he's like by the way my brother's there's really sick and he's way kidney ono a kidney thing. A Kit yes thing. That's sad do you want me to pay for it. I couldn't possibly I could. It's just I'd here in my account. He's stopped I have two thousand dollars. It's not even a part of my trust fund. I mean it's crazy. That two eight hundred dollars would be enough to pay for it but no you know what how I need to go after go. Okay Ring Ring. Well I was thinking about it. Yeah think about what sorry I should my brother. He has a kidney right. How is he is not good? It's really bad I'm really. I'm so sorry I hate to do this. Yeah I need the two thousand dollars. Absolutely thank you so much. Here's a check you for some reason. Leave the memo part blank. Okay I was going to rape kidney thing no you should put actually put like secret okay. Secret put like secret task. Okay okay do you want me to draw a little knife next to it. Yes yeah just do that or a gun yet. Do Cute Gun do you do Like a Scarlett O.. Strangling somebody okay a hurt a scarf. The stranglings scarf around a heart. Yeah but strangling the heart. Okay this makes sense. I killed your uncle now. Everyone's going to pay me because incriminating check of questions. Why why would I do this? Why and no answers? How long have you been planning this? I want me is a big question since I I like thank you I did like you and then I met your uncle in the way that he was back talking you. I thought that was really unacceptable. Remind me of my dad who used to abuse me. Who used to beat you with a bike chain and title? I bled in the garage and yelled and my route uncle. You're rude uncle reminded me of that. Yeah I mean he is rude but like so I okay but like back okay. I strangled him with my scarf. Okay my right eye garf- yeah because I'm a snowman. Oh man here's a question so okay so we'll table will table white me. Okay sure if I could just lasko how how did you know I would pay two thousand dollars for the surgery I here. Here's the thing is you seem to know that because it was a huge part of your plan I tested your giving nece. You're right January generally from like burgers. That's the true lighter Hitman Burgers to Hitman Burgers to kidney. I guess I mean I guess since I did it it. It makes sense as a progression using to spend your money. You've been burning. Spend your money because you're a bitch uncle won't let you spend it. It's true I mean you want to spend it on me Freeman okay. There's no man's brothers kidney so okay I guess what. I don't have a brother. Oh Oh that was a trick. Oh I wanted to frame you I wanted to. So there's nothing wrong with his kidneys doesn't exist. Oh guess what though what you better be some more money I'm just GONNA keep hanging around if any more money but this time Samuel Go away take out nine thousand dollars in cash. Oh but that's not what you asked take got nine thousand dollars another another check two thousand dollars another thousand dollar check and I'll get out of your life forever I promise. Oh Oh okay okay are you could buy for good bye bye. I why am hear her what you said you were going to go away. I know I lied right me. GimMe cash thousand dollars. Oh how much nine seven. No nive live what. 'cause I actually event I I ask you that many times no is no 'cause five was too. Yeah eventually. It's nine okay. Because they gave you accept that it's not it's only seven thousand one two thousand dollar check over my seven thousand dollars okay in cash so it knows five five thousand dollars but in the end after you've asked me for this I will miscount okay. Okay so so yeah. I'll okay so come with me to the bank. Then we'll give you five thousand dollars in cash to hide though. Sure while you do that. That makes sense. Okay give me the money now. Okay but now you're going to go away forever on issue. God I've got all I needed. Sorry Okay Aren't you happy. I killed your uncle. You know it's exactly like my dad. Who we it was an abuser? And your uncle's mean but us. Rude would you please just like leave with my money. Okay goodbye forever by. Hey roomy your aunt gave me a room no You know what I use the money you gave me to pay for rent. No have have you ever so you gave my aunt. Yeah your hand has your money now. Okay I like but I like my aunt well not grant. You seem to genuinely like you're because guess what she actually asked me questions. She pays attention to me. She likes me and I like her. I like her cooking. I I love to eat everything even when your bitch ass dead uncle is asking me if I want to eat the plate to. Yeah so actually. I'm glad that you brought this up about. I'm man because I had a question and this kind of ties into me asking you why So do you remember that part of the book when you weren't there and and my bitch dead uncle was talking about how your hair is so crazy white. Yeah and then my aunt said something cryptic about about her about her sister or somebody having white hair like that and being out for her and she's like poor we're Andrea. Yeah are you related to her. No okay what you could be could be. I guess you could be but we never address it. This could be on down. What is that way because I heard about you or we cousins or cousins? Okay but then. Why didn't you say that in the book? It never comes out that you never say why in the book for me. It has because it seems like you came into that diner with intent. Here's what I I haven't everywhere. I go in eighteen creeps listeners. Knowledge is power. And when you know more you can make better decisions for your body your health and and your future. There aren't many decisions bigger than having a child but for many people. Their fertility is a big question. Mark if you want more information about your ability to get pregnant you need modern fertility. Modern fertility is a quick and easy hormone tests. That you can take out home whether you're thinking of trying for a baby now or you want to know your options options for the future. Speaking as someone who my future is a huge question mark I just WanNa know your results are delivered within ten days and and your personalized dashboard. We'll give you insight into how many eggs you have hormone levels Anne reproductive red flags plus. Don't think that you just get all this information. And then you're just left. Just think about it because you can also talk one on one with the fertility nurse or you can use the timeline tool to plan ahead. Sure you can go the traditional route and do proactive testing through your doctor. That can cost over a thousand dollars. But with modern fertility you can get the same information for just one hundred and fifty nine dollars and right now. Modern fertility is offering our listeners. Twenty dollars off the test when you go to modern fertility dot com slash teen creeps. That's twenty dollars off your fertility attest. When you go to modern fertility DOT COM SLASH TEEN CREEPS MODERN FERTILITY DOT COM slash teen creeps? Okay go I go into a diner I look for girl who looks like she's unhappy with the guy that she's dating not the the thing you don't have a house. You didn't enroll in my school. Came to my diner when you asked me about. Like what home room I was in. I was tripping because I don't even know what to say and then I really provided the answer which was easy. 'cause like there's tall teachers. Yeah I was Kinda fucked fuck though because then you're like Mr so and so and I was like yeah and you're like that's a sophomore teacher so then I had to pretend they somehow put me in a sophomore class with that. I was kind of impressed. Crest that you use that as a reason why you weren't in there yeah. I thought that was pretty good. Yeah so do you remember when we built a snowman yes and then you like got really scared because I like locked in off. Yeah fucking head off. Yeah that was that was hor- shadowing yeah. Okay Oh yeah hey you know that part. Yeah I as a question where you bury me alive in a snowman somehow. Yeah how I so okay. I'll just ask all so to start off was I in a box. You know you're in a bag. I wasn't a bad. We're GONNA bag so I was in a bad tarp. I don't think I was though I think who's just didn't and snow. Okay so you might have been hacked me in so tight that somehow yeah I could still breathe question so but like I couldn't move. Yeah so my hands were tied. Here's what but I reached my later that you always have on united never tried out for. Okay yes I this. This is what we did. I block you on the head what did I do. Yeah you thanked me and I woke up and I was a senior showman while so when I was making that Snowman I was okay I it was like really getting off on imagining that you were inside it I was thinking Oh question yeah is your nickname snowman. I'm clear I don't think you're here's a nickname is just it happens you know. It doesn't matter where it comes from. It could come from you come from people around you. I nine times out of ten. It comes from yourself really bums me. Yeah it's okay but you know what you carry you carried I passed the baton and you took it. So who's responsible really. That's fair because you called me because I was a person you just May. Who even after found found out your name calling US names? Like breathe bill normalize. Hey Bill but then I still call G. Snowman. Yeah on me because I'm so hot you're so because just you have white hair white hair and black eyes and headscarf so okay so back bar. I got bombed. I woke up in a snowman. Ask Seemingly Noth- thing else. How do you keep me stood up straight while for so long so I because I went back? Yeah I went back and I read what happened and your holiday times and I'm pretty sure there. There was no bag okay so again. We steered me no. I'm remembering now. There was a bag. There's no I was just in snow and I was. You know honestly. I was wishing so bad that there was a bag that I remember that there was so what happened was I had you right. Okay I was bombed your. You're banked and then I took like you know those rakes that have like actually no. I didn't do a rake. I had like a really long stick and I stood stood you up next to the state like you know when when you guide a plant. That's growing yes. I stood you up next to the okay and then I started packing snow around around you or until I got to like where your belly button is. We are tight in there Pulled the stick out. Oh Quick Snowman yet question. This took hours asking. Yeah that was. That is a good question. I'm glad that you just how long say okay so you were Out For three days. Okay it was okay. You kept like almost weirdos. I wasn't see I would watch. Your is is when they were like flicker right away. Bonk bonk again Romney. Did you think like twenty seven. Oh that explains why. I'm so dumb. Yeah you're really dumb but I didn't start out that's smart to begin with so it's like yeah like if floors already dirty and you throw like tomato on the floor. What's GonNa Happen Nothing? It's already dirty. Then you've got a tomato. He floor then you have tomato dirt. Who cares okay? So all right so my question was going to be you. Steer me up on a stick or was Kelly. Here's what I'm going to tell you or was that Kelly reasoning that something like that. You're gonNA tell you or or did you snowman tie media stick. Here's what I'm GonNa tell you. Yes remember when I said that you were in a bag. Yes and that would make it easier. Yeah and that's why I was remembering it right right right. I think this is what happened with the stick. You know stick. There was no. It was a mistake what happened was it actually took me seven days because you did keep. Yeah I cut cut like being over. I have bones but they have joints. Yeah I mean I am I am. Snowman does not assume because that's interesting because you're not supernatural. I'm not supernatural been snowman yeah and I was just snow and I could breathe so what I find interesting instead. Our woke up in a snowman that you've built around. That was so tight. Yeah that you move. My natural body heat was not melting. It no no now and I could breathe somehow so I guess I was also surrounded in a bubble. Yeah and you were. This was my mistake state because I really never made a snowman around a person before that was my mistake. Okay but there was room for you to breathe and even tied your hands room for you to move your your hands to light your lighter. Yeah which again my mistake you show me your lighter I asked you about it chows lighter. You're like Dad's lighter. Yeah but but I didn't know it were also how to use the lighter. Yeah I burned a little hole in this. Yeah Yeah you burn a little home the snowman and then I punched through that hole. But here's the thing like a what surprised me right as an outsider. Yes because Is You know I built a snowman. Then I just stood there and watched Ya know man which was another couple of days here except it wasn't except except it wasn't lowercase our case. So what's weird to me is if there. Are Somebody listening to US having this conversation. I don't want them to get confusing thing. Yeah in my mind mind like you know. Watch part number rails feels like days. I see this was like an hour's situation. Yeah maybe thirty minutes maybe on us. Maybe maybe ten and it's hard to say short we don't did. I hit you. Twenty seven times on the head a- once could be either it could be in reality it is one but it felt like yeah seven. The army's retired yet because otherwise how was out for so long ago. I I'm I know that I'm like maybe overly focused on this why wasn't my body melting the snow. Well I actually will were standing up. I do think that Just as your jacket insulates you from the outside. It insulates the outside from you. Granted I believe what about my face enhance. Yeah you're facing hand. Yeah but I think if there's enough snow yeah did you pack it that I know. Yeah truth is yours. Eat My way out. I think you could have or just like done. The worm and gotten out you know what I mean. I don't need my hands. And why did you realize how would I burn a hole. Yeah with the lighter instead of just like like a hollowing out out. Yeah 'cause then if it was that thing to me that's what was meant by whole maybe an area for you to move in but that's the other thing thing is that like the idea of my hand out. The will that was. That was other confusion that I had as an outsider. Yeah right was. How did I manage to make the snowmen snowman around you? Yeah do you mind for you to have enough room to like wind up to punch your way out. Yeah like the space around your body. I feel like yeah. Yeah dump to come out of the snowman. That's what I mean. Do you mind if I read a written account of what happened to me okay. soo-bok the head. Yeah Yeah Oh God everything wages. Remind me you balked me on the head. I don't know because I got March uh-huh oh it was from behind you. I think I would probably just use. Maybe we all remember what like an emmy. Maybe just I I thank you had that Emmy on you. Yeah and walked me with it. Yeah I mean that you had in your car. Yeah Yeah that was for this Black Ford Taurus. Yano though I don't have a car. You don't have a car my car. But we didn't bring back the seat belting. No we didn't bring back the seat belt thing because there wasn't ben was just moving slowly. I think so I did sit in that seat and then nothing happened even though I felt something would because of the seat belt but it didn't okay so so is in there. I opened my eyes but everything was black. Thought it was blind for a second. I tried to move. Oh you know why this is why I thought I put a bag around you. Yeah because you would think white. You'd think it would be wait is it nighttime was me we again. I'm sorry to ask you this as you were no. It's okay I'm I'm going through the written account. Yeah so you kind Brian View. It's refreshing your memory so honestly if I were you I'd be insulted that the person who did this to me doesn't remember these details. I'm sorry if I were a smarter you would curson. I would maybe be more insulted but I'm just like so baffled by you. You're such a criminal mastermind. Yeah to me on one channel seven I wrote you you are saying was to kill my uncle. Honestly here's my question to you. Yeah why did you think I would leave you you alone because you said so multiple time. Yeah you told me that you would honestly this does not usually work. I'm shocked at this has worked with you because we don't people just when people say things just like what's crazy to me. Is that like you seem to have like your head on your shoulders. When you're dealing with your bitch asked ankle? Yeah but like literally anybody else. Something happens you're very I can explain that You're gorgeous oh you're freak freak White Hair with your tan skin just died darkness. Shark is yeah is Gorgeous uh-huh and so I'm just blinded by just so turned on and say that my scarf is a-plus corden features. Yeah Yeah I would say it's a plus what about my corncob pipe corncob pie pretty hot. Also your oversized fifties coat. Yes you're great oversights. In mice go frosty the snowman oversized fifties. Yeah Yeah Oh but you're not a literal snowman. Oh also I don't seem affected by the cold right. That's kind of cool but you're not a literal snowman no in fact. My Skin is very hot. Have you noticed that your already more. I think to myself every time I come contact with your skin. I'm like that's warm warm. You know what I did drive. I have a car to pick you up one time. Do you remember. You said you were owed it. Yeah I didn't I did grow. Well I stole it but I mean you can understand that I did right. 'cause like if you're telling me that yes. Oh my God if you told me something it must I cannot believe I tied myself through murder to you. Okay okay so you said that you would tell the police. Oh my God. That's why I wrote you that check and so therefore and therefore they would know. Wow so okay you open your eyes they would hear you say that they would believe you. Because when PBS way you say it except for if you're the bitch dead uncle yeah except for. If you're my uncle I hated the dead ass bitch and dead S.. Pitch Crazy when I told you that I killed your Jonquil. Do you like really sincerely believe that. It was a joke or fake out I did. Isn't that crazy it's really. I thought ought that you're joking. Yeah even though nothing about your demeanor suggested that I've never joked ever ever Well you haven't somethin'. Here's what's interesting about you is how normal your with my long white hair short plays really normal and tanned skin and easy to talk to. Yeah am I remembering. I'm a good dancer. Weird and we played all those how we like had fun in played games and like we. Did you said that you would be Parson Brown and Mary. We like like yeah. Yeah but like you could use a job if you're around. Yeah or when you're in town. Yeah later then later on you perspire perspire. Because it's so warm because we're DRI way a fire. Yeah Oh underlying underling. Conspire conspire conspire as we dream by the fire conspires unafraid. The plans that we made this whole time. We is it that they're talking about sweating next to the fire conspiring to in a conspiracy to do all those through on our plans. I'm just going to check what we were. I am telling you right now that if we were in fact perspiring okay. Yeah we were conspiring picturing. It was a really hot by that fire and getting flies flies wrenched flops. We were outside. It was very cold. Let's give it to the plans. We made fire anyway. We were pretending you were person Brett Brown and then you ask if we're ready and I was like no man. Yeah but you can do do the job when you're here in town and then you didn't kill my uncle and that I guess why I thought police would believe. He strangled him with a scar. So we am. I correct in remembering the I am a good dancer answer. Yes you are rising good answer and didn't pick up the fifties co kind of midway through aren't ruling eating other thank you but I think in the in the field who maybe a child feel along with my scarf. Yeah working always eating carrots. I was always always like as eating them. I would miss and hit myself minnows. They then we'd laugh and laugh and say oh snowman. Oh yes so anyway back to me being blind okay so you open your eyes okay. Dark which is confusing because it was dark it would. I couldn't move but I'm not blind. I'm inside something and I I write. I write like buried alive but I'm wrapped in something so I thought back so I thought bag or tar. Yeah or cloth breath honestly soda by which you know crazy but so so I tried to move my hands. Yeah but the shock of the pain made me stop because they were still tied and now my feet were tied to my hands. I got bogged. My hands are tied on a view that was really dumb on my part if I did. That's good question back a hadn't you will be chronic punched through. Okay okay okay so might know. My hands are behind me okay. Well good for time me. How'd you fucking get out? You Balked Ben. He's unconscious in that room. You're renting for my aunt. You know what I should've killed Ben. y'All should oh I should have killed Ben like I don't know what I was thinking like. That's a loose end. Well you had me to contend with because you didn't didn't FUNC- me only blocked by. Yeah but off page you tight me up okay but we just cut to being tied up okay easier that way so my hands are tied behind me. Yeah and now my feet are tied as well. But I don't know where I am. Where Am I? It's very hard to breathe. The air was cold but stale. I wasn't blind was implying. I hadn't gone crazy. You wrapped me in something hard and cold and that's what you wrapped me in when I said I'm wrapped inside. Yeah it was that it was hard and cold and I couldn't move and I can't break out I'm trying. I'm trying to try and train. I hear a scraping sound from somewhere outside vis shell. I'm in so I think you know what I feel and pounding. Yeah I think you woke up while I was still doing that I did so. You're in the process yeah. I'm pretty sure just backing me and snow. Here's what I'm going to tell you what I seem to be standing up. Yeah because it's a certain point I just let gravity kick around. Thank I can just so so okay. I'll continue and then we'll we'll keep just So I'm hearing you continue to Yeah it's so cold bears because I thought you were asleep this whole time. No no no. At that moment you were still making. I'm packed snow. You've packed me in snow. I'm inside a snowman and it seems to be. I am not in a cloth of any kind. You're crazy I know and you're putting on the finishing touches. I'm basically living snow mummy I wish I in the under will be gone because for some reason the snow in front of my face not melting. Yeah you'd think thank you could just like we're just like I'd be very cold. Obviously yeah but like I am still wearing clothes. I regret trying to do trying to move to to to do a whole like circus of this. I should have dislike. Put you in a snowbank. I don't know I am really wondering why you did it. I I think I was trying to the area accenture. Yeah we'll all you really. You're very committed to the Savak grand funk brand. I told you anymore snowman. That's the fucking problem problem. You've got this. You have a brand and you've committed to hard to it I told you what is my name. Brave Bill Bill Bill Bill Bill Jeffers getting free immediately asks. If it's Hungarian. Yeah I don't know what the fuck he's talking about so I'm Sicilian Selanne. So I'm a I'm a dead snow me. Yeah no one's GonNa find my body until the snow melts. I try leaning forward. Maybe I can fall you fall out of it. No it was packed too tightly. I couldn't move at all. You seem to have left now. I can't hear you I was just quietly okay. Can I tell you something. Yes this man did not look good. I bet and I was looking at it and I was like kind of regretting like it. Didn't look kind of lumpy honestly. It just looked like a thumb. It didn't even look like it wasn't like three pieces. It was just a one long-term one long thumb and I was like this. Is You even have time to give me like mountains up and down anything on you so I just like stuck like a stone like there was like one rock and I was like there's the mouth and that was it. I wonder if you even had time to do that because I've already woken up. I don't think you know I'm usually. Here's here's the thing That's don't fell off I. Yeah Yeah because I was in a rush so anyway at that time that you probably like just thinking. I was feeling very disappointed. I was standing there looking at snow foam. Yeah and feeling really embarrassed and like thinking about Oh i should have killed Ben. Yeah but I couldn't leave. Whatever I'm twist? I'm trying to twist my wrists. I I am wondering where you are. You're right outside I twist my wrists from side to side even though it hurts on. Oh the rope gives gives a little. I'm surprised by that. I feel really embarrassed about living. It's loosening it's behind me okay. So now my right hand is free. I move around the fingers which means I am not. I'm not wearing gloves so the snow should continue to Malta around me. That does not seem to be right. I try to raise my arm. Can't you've packed it so tightly you heard me packing it and then I remember the butane lighter that I've carried around for thirteen years. That may or may not work at Mar and it is the I.. Honest laugh often. It is plastic lighter so so I can't quite get to it. I'm trying to get to a my hand. Okay I've gotten in my hand in my pocket. I grip the lighter. I pull it out a raise it just a little. I point the head of the lighter away from me and toward the snow. Almost drop it. Oh you know there was some rustling around in there that I should have kind of gotten hip to but I was busy like thinking about Ben and like yeah I just was like or was part of like your kink to watch me. Try to sky did have one or the whole time. I I'M NOT GONNA lie about that. Okay I did okay. That doesn't surprise me because you've got a real thing about the snowman shit. Yeah I know yeah okay so so I was like ooh she's snowman come to life. I was hype. We are so cold hot so called. It's hot I was really excited and into to it. Could've put a stove. Pipe hat on you. You know what I gotta say. I'm amazed you weren't wearing one this whole book. Now that you mention it. It's you nine. Oh really dropped the ball there. Why did I invest in the fucking fifties Josh Seven? At least smoking. I know at least which I mean. I guess you need a jacket I know but so I pull up the lighter. I pointed at the snow and then it flames and on I hold it against the snow till it Burns through leaving a small hole and I raise it a bit and the whole enlarges and when it's big enough I make a fist. Your hands in front of you at this point my right hand okay. The lush weren't pinned down. Snow is passed. You make Komo Make Punch through the snow on that side of the snowman crumbles which you're now seeing I I keep pushing I'm out I'm free. I bent down to untie my feet and I go oh you yeah and you know what Shaquille you the hard way this. There's been so much like sexier and cooler the way I did it with knock but you were fully expecting me to die in that snowman and I can only presume get off on it. So it is now definite that you just managed to Stanley Upright. Impact me yeah tight we in snow so much so that I stood up straight Even though I was unconscious oh hello teen creeps listeners. Is there something interfering with your happiness or is preventing you from achieving your goals problem of the week right now for Kelly I am ceiling. Oh I'm dealing with the law in my personal life like with my family right now but also I making talking try. You know constantly trying to make moves in my career and I'm feeling guilt for either feeling happy about something that's in my career or stressed about something in my career when at at the same time you know maybe something really bad or really serious happening in my personal life with my family. It's like oh I feel guilty for feeling both of those things but guess what you're allowed to feel both things. You can feel multiple things at once. That's actually something that Lindsey text me when I was telling her this That I was feeling this. And it's a really good mantra to live by. But we all need more than just texting Lindsey problems and then hoping that she'd text you An amazing mantra that changes your life. Insert better help. Because guess what Y'all we all need therapy we'll all benefit from it don't ever think about you know. Oh I don't need David or I'm smarter than Interro. I'm I don't want to do there because I'm afraid. Because what if I crack myself open I will not be able to put myself back together because all of this is a a misconception about therapy there is helpful for anyone regardless of their mental health. Goals better help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional personal therapist. You can start communicating under twenty four hours. It's not a crisis line. It's not self help. It's professional counseling done securely online. There's a broad range of expertise. Not Sound better helps counselor network which may not be locally available in many areas this service is available for clients worldwide. You can log into your account anytime and send a message to your counselor. You'll get timely and thoughtful responses plus you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions so you won't ever have to sit in an uncomfortable waiting room as with traditional therapy and that's something that kind of has been In the past a block from me seeking therapy which is like. Why don't have time to like go across town and like see a bunch of different therapies? And what if it doesn't workout Bobby Blueberry Blah excuses excuses excuses. Better help is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed. It's more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available visit their website and read their testimonials that are posted daily visit better help dot com slash slash teen creeps. That's better H E L P dot com slash teen creeps and join the over seven hundred thousand people taking charge of their mental health with the help of of an experienced professional special offer for teen creeps listeners. Get Ten percent off your first month at better help dot com slash teen creeps. Hello teen creeps listeners. Yes I want to tell you about a brand new podcast that you have to listen to right now for free on spotify. It's the National Lampoon Radio hour the podcast and it's the brand new hilarious sketch. Show from national lampoon if this show sounds familiar it's because it's a reboot of the iconic nineteen seventies radio sketch show where comedy legends like Gilda Radner Bill Murray and John Belushi got their start but this time the radio hour is coming to you via podcast and features brand new sketches characters and dance songs performed by the next wave of incredible comedic talent. Some of your favorite on faves like Cole Escola. Joe firestone. Rachel pilgrim maeve higgins Martin Bano Aaron Jackson Laura Ramirez Brett Davis Meghan Salter and Alex English. Plus there are fantastic. Guest appearances from. Amy Sedaris Rachel Draft Chris. Chris gathered and more. It's truly great. Has Everything you want out of a sketch. Show seriously concussed cheerleaders hot air balloon. Assassins Ninety eight year old cabaret singers. Everything so please go check out the National Lampoon Radio Hour the podcast for free on spotify. Today okay go to spotify and listen for free era era. The news can can be complicated. Healthcare in my view government has decided to suspend with Ukraine's way too complex for you to understand understand. Sometimes police say that the man had died and when someone dies that is bad. That's why starting Wednesday January twenty ninth the onion. We'll be launching the topical Daily News podcast hosted by me Leslie Price. We'll bring you the most relevant stories of the day. This trade war is just another pissing into each others mouth contest between world leaders and some. That hasn't even happened yet. Donald Trump announced placeholder here today and Insert Democrat here is insert emotion featuring in depth reporting. Just a few Moments of your time senator please to my wife with hard hitting questions. Is this the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Yes it is an unparalleled analysis. Unfortunately currently it looks like we're all GonNa die. I see bringing you the news other podcasts or simply too afraid to cover. Aw Join US each day and we'll hold your pathetic little hand through the endless cycle of bullshit. That is today's news from the onion and onion public radio. This is is the topical premiering Wednesday January twenty nine. It's crazy like that was my plan right. like yes no. Because you've got that whole snowman thing I guess I guess I just I think I probably would have practice making snowmen for am really curious as to why you're absolute absolute ultimate and game was okay. You want to hear him just killing. Yes okay okay you get in there. Yeah I bill dunaway on. I'm so sorry sorry I'm so sorry yeah I mean killing my uncle oh well it was all part of this ready okay. I meet a girl. She's rich she's got a- An uncle a bitch uncle but again so you didn't know about me beforehand. This was all just like Oh what opportunity. Well I had a plan because I know that you you work you and I wanted to date you and we had chemistry so like the women I met. You always like she's the one I'm going to do it so I started isn't just okay. Just wait okay. She's got a bitch uncle. Your effect out. Kill the bitch uncle. Yeah then I'm GonNa get you into a game of like money cat-and-mouse where am am. I can't leave. I build up the tension right right right right Put you inside of a snowman. Yeah build snow around did you okay. You're burning a little hole. You're getting ready to punch your way out I get right in front of that And pulled on my pants and bend over and they'll visiting my asshole so I ended up getting to be. Oh Oh man okay all right. So here's all right. So here's my question. Now Yeah why did you have to the uncle and nine black bail out of the plan. I needed you to to hate me but then also want me okay. Oh that's part that's part in the energy of it needs to be an easy to be you that I had to have that kind of energy on the other side. Yeah Okay I needed a Boo k blasted into another dimension. H- you know it's crazy. What makes perfect sense? Thank you I mean. It's like we're together. Yeah so what is happening intimate. Do the cops go the cops come and they get you owe because of that Fucker ben that I didn't kill. Oh I light you on fire. Oh my God already which luckily for me Burns that check in your pocket. Yeah and I was. The only evidence was the only evidence. The just airtight evidence. That I definitely paid you to do my uncle which the police really sort of believed utterly can you believe that that black tourists that was falling list was an FBI agent? That was trying to get me. I yes okay you know what I sat down and thought about it afterward. Yeah yes see for me. It's just you're in the you're in the thick of it. You think no one can get you. That's true because your plan woulda worked out if stupid bending get in the way so but you really aren't related to me. I or maybe maybe but it's possible. Yeah you know that we've been doing this for forty five minutes what bit. I don't know what you're talking. I'm so sorry. Why must continue to torture me snowman? I'm sorry I shouldn't sending you never make any sense. It's because I'm such a criminal mastermind. Yes that my criminal mastermind plan of strangling your uncle onto okay. I'm training let me see if I can remember what my aunt said about that family member. WH- The light rain to remember. You're trying to remember. Remember remember remember. Remember Oh yeah. He is driving a Toyota. Goethe's Celica by me new me. I was driving but it wasn't mine. I definitely stole it. I told you friggin lighted yeah euro. Oh Liar Liar He remember how many fake out dreams. I have a lot of fake out drinks. Oh Yeah like like intricate dreams about fantasies. Yeah Yeah Yeah you know what I kind of thought was going to happen with us. What I thought that you you were gonNA be a killer like I? I thought maybe you could be one or or. Here's what I thought. I thought that the fake out was going to be that you were the killer and you were doing it in your fucking thing. But then it wasn't going to be you can be someone else that was not me interested but it was me it. was you snowman I am just like so surprise with myself for just continuing to call you snowman. mm-hmm yeah I don't know you never mentioned it. I hear book. Also you don't ever question it. Yep Don't at all. Aw Dang legally remember what my aunt said. It's also weird when you refer to me as snowman to your friends who like have met. Let me. It's also weird that I call you that to my aunt and uncle. It's also crying kind of weird that I never ask you what your real name is. Yeah that is weird but convenient for me it is we build. We built that snowman like did you think that your aunt was talking about like maybe my mom or something and she was like troubled. Yes I did yeah I thought she was talking about like Oh poor. Aunt whatever because Because has her husband was killed by her son. Yeah I thought her related possibly to snow make you related. Poss- believed leaked me. Yeah and that's the Kinda creepy incests plotline I can get behind. That's because it's a question because it was just kissing before for knowing kissing before knowing kissing before knowing that helps. Yeah again. I do not support St- know where the Shit Shit is that part in your memory. Yeah I'm searching my memory searching searching wholesome. Burt Do you remember that part snowman. I'm trying to remember it but I only have two specific memories logged. And they're not not that I remember. Okay here's what I remember from like hearing it in the wind that your aunt was like you know my so and so had hair like that penny went out into her. Yeah and then. You're like that's weird anyway. Yeah okay well. Well I truly cannot remember for my vague recollection. It was that it was that she knew someone that was like her sister or her cousin. Yeah that had unfortunate ending yet. It seemed like she's like Oh poor. Poor old Alicia or not. And then you're like mildly questioning it but then got over it really quickly and didn't think to ask at all. Yeah funny how like no one followed up on that Including our Lord and Saviour Rl Stein. Yeah Oh oh I think maybe I remembered okay. It was worth me trying to remember because this was just so weird. How this number got connected to to you? Yeah So we're eating dinner. Yeah my uncles being a real bitch. Yeah alive though a real live bitch. Yeah and he's asking me if I'm going out with him again with me you okay and my bitch uncle says something wrong with that boy that white hair. It's not outright must be nutritional or something and then. My Aunt Belle said my cousin Adel had white hair from the time she was twelve. And then my bitch arkell James said something wrong with her too and then my aunt Belle said mysteriously poured Adele and then I never asked her about it. We'll get the you remember that and it's like I wonder if you have have a connection. And maybe that's why you're so nice tour. I wonder maybe do our is that it. I don't think listen o'malley's in the right now. Yeah no oh I think that sometimes our creator just kind of leaves. I want things if our creator her planned on bringing us back man it is possible. I feel like my stories done. You know what I mean like I've given all I don't know I still. I'll have a lot of unanswered question. There are questions. Here's my worry about my staff. I know that I'm very sexy to you. Yes I don't know how compelling I am to the what you know what I mean. No all of these features are universally beloved. I just I feel like I look like Robert durst. No and I don't know who that is. She's like a little little shark boy. Oh I forgot just look like a shark with a wig on it. Oh hot right. Everybody loves a shark in you. Know how there's like. There's a knife to every spoon or something like that. What's that like a you know? There's like a through soon every four or something like that. Anyway I think I I think I think I should. I shouldn't try to kill you. That was dumb. I'm just sad because because yeah I think if I had asked you fist me in the ass through snowman you would've said yes and I should've asked you needed that energy like you said so. If you needed that energy I got it. Yeah Shit See. I really shouldn't affect us up and you should know I'm in fucking jail. I know we have pledged through the glass. Yeah this is a really long visit. They let us have their guards. Don't give a shit about what I knew. No thank you for talking to me though. Thank you for talking to me. I appreciate it. I get no visitors. There's yeah because you have no back story. Yeah so who would be you. It's almost as if I appeared out of nowhere to serve your story. Sorry yeah kind of Thanks you. How's your aunt by the way she's fine? She's confused. Is she better off for not having that guy in her life anymore honestly Yeah I however I spent all my trust fund already. Yeah I I could see that what had happened wise. I bought new clothes and then I kept giving this guy money. Yeah Oh that was you you you were there for that. Yep a small little that money in my ass. Oh so you still have it. Yeah I still have it man. I don't I'll tell don't tell anyone okay but just because you told me exactly and that's snowman. That was snowman. Well it may just as much sense just now. Yeah as it did reading. Yeah Yeah it's a quick read. It was a quick read kind of a fun read because it was so a crazy. Stop laughing the snowman or if I was like he's not he's not hot he's dressed like can you just look like a snowman and she's like I've just his those either part I could not stop laughing because she keeps talking about howdy. Howdy is and she's like his white hair and unique features are just like anything I've ever seen? I'm like yeah. Because he's walking freak book should be called this shirk the shark in a wig shark in a wig. Yeah very confusing. Yeah really confusing I Dunno give it a read if you want a winter read. It's it's easy it's fast. A brisk winter read. Yeah thank you so much for listening. What are we you doing? Oh next week we are talking about the movie phenomena starring Jennifer Connelly Right. I believe so I you think so. Let me look at my thing. My friends and fellow infinity train writer. Justin Michael Yeah. Dario Fo's phenomena one of my favorite movies. ooh Yeah thank you so much for listening If you want to help support our show You can leave us a happy review. You can set your settings to mic download. You can tell French on enemy Tells him family about our show. If you'd like to support us With your pocketbook you can become a patron at he. TRIAN DOT COM slash teen creeps. And we'd like to give a special shout out to our fifteen dollar. Career are patriotic producers. Thank you Ashley. Fritz Claire More Danny Emily Pooling Karen Lewis Kelly. Burn Christina. Landry Desmond Mandalay. Wool Schlaeger Dr Michael Eunice. Miguel Camacho Molly Marx wrote Kawahara. Sarah Jagger's Sarah Michelle Sasha Gibson Bolinger Toria Beck and Wendy Bartos. Thank you so so much everyone. Thank you wolf trap. He goes next time. Yeah keep it creepy. This has been a forever production executive produced by Kelli nugent. Lindsey Kaitai Redcowmn Joselito and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts. Please visit driver dog podcasts. Dot Com and subscribe to our show on Apple podcasts. spotify or wherever where you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest forever dog news by following us on twitter instagram at forever dog team and liking our page on facebook.

Justin Michael Yeah Ben Ben Heather Heather Kelly nugent Rl Stein US Robert Durst G. Snowman Guardian Kim Cam Emmy spotify Lindsay Prince Gee Bill Bill Bill Bill Bill Jeffe Samuel Snow Parson Brown
ACS (Part 2): Vir Das and Ahmed Ahmed

The Adam Carolla Show

00:00 sec | 1 year ago

ACS (Part 2): Vir Das and Ahmed Ahmed

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Jovana Zora available and the ball or welcome. For more information for the Corolla drinks and visit Admiral dot com. Genial break. All those crazy. Gene, grad dropping. News with Gina g. The news with Gina grad this half of the show brought to you by legalzoom dot com. Adam and stamps dot com. Inter animas. Well, all right, Gina. Well, he start off with some sad news. But Tim Conway senior the comic actor best known for his work on the Carol Burnett show. He died Tuesday morning in Los Angeles eighty five he'd been suffering from a brain condition that forced his retirement in recent years. He played the oldest man he played Mr. Todd bowl whose accent was inspired by his remain mother. Yeah. He, of course, Dorf on golf endorphin everything he was no Haya native. He was a three time. Emmy winner was all the wacky. Disney movies dumpling. Dumpling is. Well, of course, we know Tim Conway junior. So I had a thought I was hearing about this. When I was leaving the house this morning, and I don't have these starts all the time about people pass away like door. Stay and I was like well there you go. But I don't like living in a world with no, Tim Conway. I just say beloved part of my childhood, and he was always there is one of these guys. It's always air. And then you got then I got into middle age, and he's still there. It's just always there. And always funny I worked with his son. Of course. I've met his father and he's just dry and sarcastic. And so funny, I text a little bit with Tim Conway Judy this morning. Of course, this is a this is a devastating day. It is. But you know, he added five relationship always had a great. I mean, he was unstoppable for fifty year dementia. The they're very private about it. I don't know. But it doesn't seem like it. I mean, he was giving quotes and stuff up until recently. And I think he won for his his guest role on thirty rock when he was on. He was so great that old out of it. You know, old black and white movie star that would just wander the halls of thirty rock. I don't know if you guys remember that. Had such a great show. He said, you know, he's wandered the halls all night. And Liz lemon said are you? Okay. Was anyone even here's like, no. I wondered the all night and the only person I ran into was a really depressed, lesbian who is calling O'Brien. Why? She's so sad. My favorite line. So he will be missed. He will. Well, Fox News reports that thousands of residents in northern California may be threatened by flooding due to weaken levees caused by the homeless encampments that are on top of them, the encampments have popped up along side of the levees and Sacramento county, and they're creating damage the flood control structures, basically because people are digging into the levees to create a flat surface for their tent, and is very very dangerous, the manager of the levees said that the holes are often, but we're going to have to go full vermin mode with these people we need to get crop dusters. Just load them up DVD strife these ways it's not the way to hand too much. There's no more. Hey, give them a voucher to TGI Fridays. Come down from their encampment the hill like wait a second because the councilman there has a different idea. He says he hopes that educating the people that live on the levees with the problems. They're creating will cause them to leave voluntarily is not going to happen. We're having a problem in this nation, which is we have to have rules, and then we have to enforce the rules, and we're doing a thing where we go. Well, we have rules, but sometimes we enforce them. And sometimes we don't which is which is a big time is a big issue. And so it's like if you own a house, and you'd like to build something you have extra rules that didn't exist twenty years ago ten years ago fifty years ago, and they're more rules than you could imagine. And then there's lawlessness which is what's going on in the hills of Hollywood hills Seattle and an all over the all over the all of the country. So you can't have a facade as a society of. Hey, everyone in downtown and everyone in the staple center complex, you have to pay twelve percent tax, which is a security tax, which we put toward. Blah, blah, blah, and a Levy for this and you have to comply to everyone of these handicapped codes, and you can open up because you know, when I was talking to Jimmy and Adam Perry Lang that a stake. They have a steakhouse and LA, and it's great, and I was eating there like on opening day. And I said when you're going to open the window because they wanted to have steak sandwich. A walk up window like, you know, stick Stick's images, and garlic or tofurkey. I can't remember. But anyway, and he said we can't open the window. And I was like well why not because they need the fly fan that blows air out, whatever when when the windows open, sa- flies don't get in. But it's like or there's a guy on the sidewalk just selling ghetto dogs right in front of that the city doesn't care about. So you have to work it out and the problem with compassion. I'll tell you the the next motivational book, the problem with compassion, people stake compassion for something else. When a coach as I guys we don't have to do too many laps like it's pretty it's over eighty degrees outside you think he's a nice coach or compassionate coats. He's a coach's team is going to get asked handed to them on Saturday. That guy has to the drill sergeant has to yell. One more push up or yell at you were trying to climb that that rope. Or that cargo like we need that. And that's not it's not being mean, it's actually what you have to do with kids. What you have to do with pets with you have to do with animals which you have to do with with marines. Young green marines or young football team or or band a marching band, like whatever it is. You got to you got to work it and the politicians of turned into sort of compassionate, folks. It's kind of a bummer the homeless guy waiting to go. Aroused him. Get him up, moving whatever. Fine. You don't wanna do it? It will get more and more and more and certain point. You're not going to handle this through conventional means like you could have handled it through conventional means eight years ago. Some dude goes asleep on the sidewalk it's in front of a store the cops come over. They go him. And you can't do that. We're gonna put you on a bus and taken to the shelter. Whatever. Whatever it is conventional. Now, there's a sea of people they're all over like Seattle. It's all over the hill. They're just like there's no more greenery. There's just homeless guys like just all bivouacked up in the hills. And you're not gonna just have a couple of cops show up and guard fell. Let's pack it up you do something big. Well, speaking of those numbers, California, the byplanes come in with. California leads the nation in the number of mated homeless people estimated over one hundred nine thousand as of last year, and we're super impressed by overcrowding problems here. I'm not I mean, what I find interesting about that headline is the exemption, and maybe I'm wrong. But is that most homeless people uneducated, and therefore -education we'll told this problem. You know, what I mean fiscal education like mental illness drug don't fill don't build the, you know, your your educational you providing is. Educate them as such because most people who are homeless over sudden age have functional education levels, all maybe not GED's or whatever, but you can read you can read and write and converse in. So what are you providing them that is going to help with these problems? It's all addiction mental health and addiction problem. There is seems to be there's no such thing. I- part of the promises got damn experts who aren't experts who paint a picture like this of mother three and she's living comfortably and Sherman oaks. And then she gets a divorce in the husband loses his job. And now they're sleeping on the street. Like, that's not how it goes. It just isn't, you know, why have you ever heard of that have you ever seen that now ever without severe mental without addiction or mental impairment who is on the street physically. And you do hear stories like these rags to riches stories where she fell on hard times. And she had to live out of her car for six months, but she's not living out of her car. Now. Run. We hit these horrible speed bumps, but we don't stay in them. It's a diction, and it's mental illness, and that's it. Well, you mentioned Jimmy Kimmel. And I don't know if you heard this yet, but Jimmy has signed a new contract with ABC to continue hosting the late night show for another three years somebody. I sent a text saying great. I think I'll means I'll be in the show at least nine. But I think the record it's fifty something appearances on it's not because I'm a great guests. I'm nearby, homey. Well, your drops out because this will make him the longest running late night talk show out. I think with at three years of of the current people that are testing deadline. This will keep him hosting his twentieth season. Well, this Rabi of old. Well, he's he longest now. Anyway, right leg longer than Leno and. Well, think about it. I thought I thought Lennon was twenty three years or something like that we look into but they're dead line and make the longest neck something. And then a bonus plus Nicholson the twenty plus three years he left for ten minutes. Yeah. On the air for consecutively for different networks. Well, he's the longest running guy now 'cause yes long as everyone else's on the air. And he's on the interrupted. They'll never catch up to him. It was twenty. I was looking at it. Doubling down was looking at it. I was like on till so weird. How how old I am? But on till his contract extended for till two thousand twenty two and I was like fifty year contract. Two thousand twenty feels success. I had to do the math because three year with Stu thousand twenty two future. Logan's run now. Yes, he and this is us they're getting those three or contracts. Thirty years from the sixty of the nineties, right? I don't know Jack Parr, and then and then from yeah is this is the crying show. We all know it. I think we just got season one and two and people just like that's the American crimes. Exactly what it is. You're right. All right. We'll max paddle up. It describes it as breaking the record for the deadline said, and I believe this is deadline. His his show is the longest running late night talk show. But that's that's that's yeah. That's not the record longest running must be active then yet, but including Conan who is at all those shows it's like the nineties right now, it's barely manvier. Manby or with the man come on. So good news for Robert Kraft. A judge granted a request to block the release of that not safe for work video surveillance cameras in a positive cock block normally have such a negative connotation. But once in a while, there's a happy ending. Oh, happy happy. Happy cock block. And this is it. Yeah. Those those cameras were installed the orchids of Asia day spa reportedly captured Robert Kraft paying cash than receiving rub and tug prosecutors charged with solicitation prostitution remembered, not human trafficking, as we were originally led to believe I don't wanna get into semantics. But is there such thing as a tug and rub 'cause I feel like I could really enjoy my downtime my factory period. Like, my whole thing. If you've been physically a rub and tug I'd be lame. They're kind of on a needle what admitted eleven going for the door. Do I have to make a move to the? Doug. I in rub now, that's what I would like that makes way too much sense, how relaxed or your after you have the tug also like a happy, but not the ending. And there's no pressure and there's like what's going on. When we make the move and Wendy's kick in. Any of them? Massage. That's a great idea. I'm talking. Yeah. So he he wished to introduce the clips the prosecutor as evidence against the against craft s this never done the rub and tug the tug. And rub but Brian veer you're not a smokeless cigarette. Like, there's some byproduct there. How do we? We worked at who. You're talking about him. I've been Jim Jordan, probably dip Norton. It was Bill Nye the science. Oh, yeah. I one of those astrophysicist remarking how quickly the artist swooped in. And just got it all up in a towel and move right on. Yeah. Well, you know during season to the man show, we did manifestations invented the Bally's Ambani's. And we all know people think I'm kidding. No. I am not. Ed if organises playing done then. Okay. Meanwhile, there are rumors that these videos such thing I- in a world where everything right? You know that the ask ask it the toilet seat liner, sir. Kind of doughnut with the same material. You know, what I mean, just one home in the middle and. Like one of those priestly collars from the. Days. You know, what I mean just? Yeah. On the wall like on the wall in the in the rug. Pull it off into sort of slighted over dog cone. Yeah. Well them really dog cone. But it's like the same thing as they ask ask material the one hole in the middle. The dicky. Over. Yeah. The Dickie go over your, you know, Bip. Yeah. I'd say I'd say it's the same sort of size as the toilet seat liners just a hole in the middle. It's just you know, engine a corner put that on rips it off the wall and be like two and a half inches. Yeah. But you see here's the stay on Gina. This is going to be on shock tank next year. And it's. Well, I'm beer DASA. Ten percent for my quota half. I'd have a small medium large. But I don't wanna shame. Okay. I don't ashamed. All the guys know, look, I'm holding up in my fingers, and I'm a carpenter. I know well when I'm holding my thumb and forefinger is an inch and a quarter. Most people's honcker would make it through their generous the more you give outside of that. We're spillage the more spillage juris so purpose. I would say you'd rather keep it keeping tight you could make a little Cording action on that parts that had a little, you know, all the perforation tear for extra clean a world. Like anyone if you guys ever go look at an open house, that's an decent neighbor. It's like oh, put the booties. No. Pretty used to it. There is no different. They're shown. Rotate like those dining tables. What was it called lazy? Susan like, a relish dredge Doggett pointing on that rotates. And then. Perfection. I like that. Sorry. This guy had. Helfman? She broke down in a Boston courtroom on Monday and pled guilty for her part in the collagen mission scandal, she actress breaks down killed are. They really breaking down the piece of glass in the show, kind of summing tear, you know, that can cry like that. Shane they're professional cry. Very extreme ways to. That's my point. We would have to do that. We're not thespian. Yeah. We're not award profession where she can be like in a trailer screaming at our assistant that you're worthless. Khan, and then she can walk out and hug her fake special needs child and start crying on demand. Yeah. She's that good. So I don't trust her. Well, the judge might not trust or either because she admitted to paying fifty grand to have her daughters SAT scores boosted and through the tears. The actress revealed that her daughter has suffered from learning disabilities throughout her life. In a statement, Felicity said, this I am in full acceptance of guilt, and with regret and shame over what I have done accept full responsibility for my actions and will accept the consequences that stemmed from those actions. Prosecutors recommend autre have we seen much of her daughter. Laurie Auckland daughter. So he's everywhere. She's the big she's public figure entries, but he's a kid in college still has the college revoked admission or she well her specifically, I'm not sure, but a lot of those kids got frozen from the scandal. Unfailing those kids had they made they didn't it'll probably miners anyway. Well, or close to William H Macy was not there. The prosecutors recommended four months behind bars she's sentence. She'll be sentenced on September thirteenth. I don't care. Just I'm consistent. I this. I know we get in this whole class thing. These poor black guys delta dime, bag, whatever. Now, it's your turn. Whatever I've said the same thing about them. If you don't harm anybody. There's no physical salt is no property theft. There's no, I don't care society. Like if this person lived next door to you, would it impact your life at all answer be. No, then good no prison time. I don't want anyone incarcerated came Fazli. Yeah. Do something. This is all just a big deterrent right to break. These. I guess I would just if I were mossy mo- which is the husband of Laurie locking liner. My biggest beef wouldn't be what about. Fake in this or Photoshop and this or crew teams are scams or how did you get busted? I'd be like we it cost us five hundred grand. And she spent fifteen grand I were sitting the same fucking courthouse in the same school. How did this happen that she paid pennies on our wives are five hundred and hers team? There is I'm the victim whoever paid five hundred zero real victim. Because obviously for fifteen could've got the same thing for both in the same play. Like what kind of discount was going on? Let's when you go to the restaurant, you get the surface. Someone gets salad. I why did they pay five times as much the services are? All right. You can Photoshop for the crew team or they can have someone go and take the test with Ryan. And that explains the Cobb salad is six fourteen bucks and the surface, eighty bucks or whatever. And it's five times six times. Whatever I'm talking fifteen if I paid eighty five or oh five we wouldn't be having this conversation five hundred thousand dollar for what a fucking Photoshop session at the Y. Speaking of why why? You should be on council this ever happened. Like surreal victim here. Ladies in general. I just wanna see that family like that conversation happened in an Indian immigrant family for the kid comes back. I need five hundred grand to get into Harvard. And like no way, we might. If you have five hundred grand you have five hundred grand worth of tutors to get him in the regular way. Oh my God. I just talking to my daughter about my son is in like, I don't know the dummy classes, and that's a special needs. What it is. He doesn't care is that the problem is he doesn't care. So the only way you can get them to do people to do stuff. She got a shame shame. There's no stigma anymore because they don't call the dumb, people classes or. They don't win. When I would in those classes are anyone's that. There's a lot of stigma and a lot of shame. And you didn't do it. Now everyone's in the Dumbo class, and they're all forty pounds, overweight, and nobody cares anymore. Just like the dummy class. I. I care. So the problem is you guys don't live in joint families. That's what it is. The parents you have to worry about scarring your child, right? So but in India, we live in these big join families where it's your parents. But just like nineteen other people within the same compound who will be real with you. Who? He also like Indian on coups and aunts, and you're stupid. You know what I mean? Yeah. About this kid gloves in adjoin families, send them over. Pat Cash prize winner, and I'm like, well, I Brian. Christ. If that's your bar. You do podcast ball, Brian. I know, you know, shame. No shame a little shame. Shame goes a long way. All right. Let me tell you about stamps dot com. It'd be a shame. If he didn't get stamps that com. Save time for your small business. The hassle of the post office buying print Fischl US postage for any letter any package with your computer and printer and with stamps dot com. You get five cents off every first class stamp and up to forty percents off of priority mail. We it here we have the. The scale here because up to eighty pounds. It's a nice piece. It's not junkie. No wonder over seven hundred thousand small businesses use stamps dot com right now got a special offer our listeners get a four week trout plus postage and a digital scale. It's gotta stamps that com. Click on the Mike phone tap of the homepage type in Adam. He get the scale you plug it right in your computer ways at out comes right out of your printer attach to your parcel, and that is that stamps dot com. Enter adamant stance dot com. All right, Gina. What else take Goslin? Remember that name? Johnny Cape was eight. She will return to TLC for a new series this time, the mother Vate will start a dating show called Kate plus date, reclaim for more K. I hadn't known if you need the picture to jog your memory in a press release. The network says raising children hasn't granted Kate much time for romance. But with sex Toplitz growing, and our oldest wins off to college in the fall. The time is right for the well known mother of multiples to find that special someone on the show matchmakers will set her up. She's forty four years old ten men see sparks fly Kate split with her husband and the Costa, of course, Jon incapable co-star in two thousand nine Kate bliss date debuts in June and she's been on. She's been on the apprentice she's been on with the SARS celebrity wife. Swap. She's she's making the rounds. I don't. We're not I don't believe anything. I see more. I used to love. Now, I used to believe God watch reality shows like, oh, that's what's. That's what's happening. But now, no moss. I don't have that feeling anymore. I love how you're innocent all this stuff on TV. And then you talk to us about marriages. Like, you know, we get kind of made fun of because we have a range manages. But that's literally every single American television program isn't episodic filmed arranged marriage. How do you see in the documentary? Meet the Patel's, I have great it is it really really shed some light on things that we do not understand as a culture. I've I've said from doing love line with Dr drew for so long. I've said I think an arranged marriage is a higher batting average in terms of longevity because people seek out the numbers folks that, you know, the daughter of the alcoholic Mary's the alcoholic abusive alcoholic that what is traction. You know, now, I wonder if dudes look it up mex- paddock gay marriage longevity. See dudes are the legal through. All the reams of data on that. Ream. All right. No bell. Here's how we work. Here's guys were. It's an aesthetic. There's like elements of mom and history and growing up, and if you're ritualistically Beuys bit for regular, dude, just like an aesthetic like I'm attracted to her and she's not a shrew ain't so she's marriage. Material. Women have many other components involved with the traction because really from there for them attraction is well beyond an aesthetic and into a whole fair, monal, psychological. Whatever ability and you make bad decisions based on someone being bad to you at some point or trying to fill something that can never be filled. The relationship never worked. If you took two dudes to dudes are probably just all find the best looking dude hilt find the best can do. We'll we'll come together. And and that lasts I work for a gay couple. They had separate bedrooms. They were they all live the dream live together west West Hollywood, you know, they probably only had about twenty four hundred square feet. But man, they. That separate bedrooms. I built Ron the head gay. I built him. I built him a bed. He said what you build one for John John's bad like, and I was like, I didn't know that's how were you guys just slept together. Ron his past. So get were together to the end. I do believe. So they broke up and Ron owned this really cool restaurant on the west side Colton muse from a million years ago, I used to work over there, but they have separate bedrooms. And there is no friction. How were they older an older couple because that seems to be more of a little bit? But yeah, it's a it's just a lower impact kind of relationship and obviously anecdotal, but I know a lot of couples a lot of gay straight. And there are plenty of gay couples male couples that are totally fine with kind of stepping out of the relationship, and there's all kinds of rules about it. And it's respected. It's fine. I don't know any female male couples that are fine with that an open relationship. Be out of town or we don't bring him here, whatever. And I know I know multiple couples that are, but I think that's a guy wiring, right? Yeah. I just think. With arranged marriages. I think it's just a higher batting average. For working out is insane. Is it sounds like you've never even met the person, you don't know the person. But better because when you pick yourself, so many people are so damaged that they make bad. And I think the ruling on that was when you first meet or for the first few years of the relationship. You're happier when you pick your own person, but that often ends in divorce, and it's the opposite with a range marriage where it's kind of weird at the beginning. And then it goes the distance to. I mean, at least the modern arranged marriages, and when I do show like a lot of Indians will be arranged marriages. But these a twenty five year olds or thirty year old. So it's not an archaic system of arranged marriage. That's brought them together. What they says. It's kinda cool because usually attraction will prevent you from making a good decision, especially within the female tikey, right? Here's a good guy. We are compatible. Here's all these qualities that I want, but this man is attractive. Let me go with this other man, right? I know people in range marriages who just purely compatibility and then five years into the arranged marriage. They're starting to fall in love with you know, it's kind of like a I don't know an Uber drive right in where some somebody else's driving destination. Selected yours in the back. Like, what is this button to how can I mess with this person? What are his particular eccentricities? I think that's kinda cool gets to say I fell in love with my wife or my husband like nine years after we got married. That's kind of cool because usually the other way around is usually the other way. Around over somebody else. Right. We have some data twenty seven percent of same sex marriages devolve dissolve and twenty eight percents of the same of heterosexual. So there you go. All people. Well, speaking of affairs in relationships in case, you're wondering if your relationship survive, an affair, maybe don't hear about the case breaking up as much. On man who gets the me out who gets about part. It's just we're talking about kids and houses assets. I'm sure they've other asset ask. Okay. So according to a new survey most relationships cannot survive in a fair, and it's funny. We were just talking about that. So we'll see if these numbers add up the survey of people admitted to cheating while in a committed relationship found that fifty four point five percent broke up immediately after the truth came out thirty percent, try to stay together. But they broke up anyway. And only fifteen and a half percent survive the affair whose job is this this like the fantasy rotate this. This. They're like this is what I have done. Calm. In may two thousand is is you have to go and talk to unhappy people per month and find out what split them. Dudes stepping out women still do that. It's not that yet they fair. So she live like that far. But also, the affair. Yeah. But also the fair this even says, oh well over half, the people the second it came out that they had the affair. They were out of the door. So if you run back home ago got I did something I'm so feel guilty. You're not gonna survive that one. Yeah. And then women always do that thing where they go. And I can't believe you pick Nancy from the officer something, and it's like, well, what am I supposed to leave the country? Like who would I be having an affair with? That would be okay with you. You know what? I mean. It's gotta be a neighbor. It's of course, it's one of your friends or it's your sister. Somebody. The wells really gonna be I wish I could bang total strangers outside of the country. But I can't I'm not up today electric put it covets see every day, by the way, I have never heard this phrase before and it is so lame. Have you guys ever been like on a plane going to a bachelor party and heard the phrase wheels up rings off the hell now? Thing you've ever heard. Yelled wheel. I obviously wheels up a million times off. Now, that's the part. I was in lake havasu doing a man show pet and big guy named Doug got drunk who worked with us any kept saying, we're driving Fatos from have sue. And he kept yelling wheels up like four AM Icho, bursting everyone's yelling wheels up. So I have a little bit of. Be here. Predated the rings off or not everyone had a cell phone or something something like that. My flight hill for this on Amazon this eight three eighty where they have like a little boss action hang double decker hub. And there was a bachelor party on that. There was just plain. Coming late guy got arrested as soon as he landed like they opened the door and I saw like FBI agents and like six cops. And apparently this guy got fresh with one of the hostesses like I think three hours into the flight, and then was handcuffed foot thirteen hours. Our flight from Dubai to LA just sitting there in handcuffs thirteen hours landed FBI got him and just took him away. And then I saw the FBI agent. Wait, just kind of take this guy away. And then come back and be like, nobody does other guys in this bachelor party. So then they wouldn't got these other four guys. And I guess they will drug tested and that whole thing happen. But they will there's a legit party happening. Wow. Did you hear them or see them? Did it seem like out of control? I mean, I was Brown and have a Bill to an FBI and just went back to my seat. Not inquisitive nature. There was no curiosity. I just kind of asked one of the else's. What happens is like he misbehaved. And there was a marshal on the plane. The sat him down. I misunderstood international flight. Oh crap where you able. But during the flight, you're able to go up to you, can you can go to the ball. And these guys, you know, I mean, the second seatbelt sign came off these guys with dad drinking champagne, and you knew it was four or five guys headed for ROY strip. Right. But I think so the wolf of Wall Street. And that was what happened? So funny, the three eighty that's the new double decker because when I was a kid that a seven forty seven and that had the second smaller one spouse, but had the pub there back in the seventies people hanging around the plans video game. Yeah. All right. Let's bring it home. Gina grad. And that's the news wheels up rings off. Oh, you said rings off. I meant rings like ring like shut your phone. Betting ring of good, boys. Yeah. I thought she meant no cell phone. Oh now that that part of the Totani pictures don't document this. Take the wedding. We're not advertising marriage. Let me tell you about Castrol edge, heat, friction viscosity breakdown. Rob your engine and maximum performance. Friction results in loss of performance up. The ten percent Castrol edge engineered with fluid. Titanium technology physically transforms under pressure. Three times wheels up range off times stronger discussing right down and leading full synthetic oils. Unlock that troop performance with Castro edge everybody head over to Adam Corolla. You guys can go to Amtrak dot com for all the live shows. You can check out for dust is very funny stand up special on net. Flex also shows up Montreal and BC sold up, and he's going to be all over the place. Get your tickets at Bir dot B, I, R D A, S dot I and thank you, my friend good to see or again. And until next time. This is an Corolla for Ahmed Ahmed, Inver daas and Jeanette grad and bald Bryan telling you to look forward to good sports coming up next and kick out Charlie kirks, podcasts and podcasts one till next time and Parola saying Mahala. His conduct motherfucker cocker tits. Dave damage chicken, Adam Corolla with good sports coming right up. Geico presents yet another voicemail from your roommate? About the kitchen turns out when there's a grace fire. You're not supposed to throw water on it wouldn't own right anyways. The fire department is here, and it's totally cool can call back when you get a chance. The Geico insurance agency could help keep your personal property protected. Like if danger is your roommates middle name. Visit Geico dot com to see how easy it is to switch and save on renter's insurance Thursday night. At Tenny, Corolla drinks presents the booze and book club. We got incoming Ray warned through the radio. It looks like gunships three of them about ten miles out. Get the hell off the road. Everyone will take cover in the mountains came Chris's order. I began to feel the bass in vibrations in the ground and off of this around in mountains before I heard anything, but I had been on the giving end of enough helicopter infiltration missions to know, what was coming. I held my rifle close in squeezed my pouches to make sure I had plenty of ammo on me about that. It would do any. Good. If the gun ships spotted us here me read from Robert Patrick Louis the pact. Enjoy a signature mangrove cocktail enter to win a pair of JBL one. Oh, four studio. Reference monitors. Visit JBL pro dot com and hang out with all the literary fans of the Adam Corolla show. Corolla drinks presents the Tenney boozing book club Thursday night. Tenny downtown, Los Angeles boozing book club dot com. Get the pact now on audible, and I tunes. Broadcast warned sports network prisons. Good sports sports fans. Welcome to brand new episode of good sports. Dave damage Shakir Adam Karol over there. Go back and listen to Monday, the yesterday's good sports talk about Broadway. Joe? And as tell you this dig up Mondays because you really did float in interesting thought about the coaching and player dynamic in the twenty first century specific to the NBA anyway enjoyed that. And and now a I hope you'll enjoy this. They're they're a couple of names that have just become or at least for me. I've become aware of these guys. There's a guy on the Seattle Seahawks too. Great new names, I love Jonathan Chichibu name Mussa Lonnie list goes on and on the British off. Ferguson. The top the leaderboard for us and NFL or name sports. Name the debris cash off for the most sort of like on the nose describing. But I also. Feel like his mom was going for that brick Ishii. She wasn't you know, she didn't think she was gonna get an accountant. She wanted a rugged a rugged individuals to British ause at the top of my professional sports players list. But in terms of civilians, Doug DeLuca going to school with a gal name net Chila. I don't feel in the civilian department in the class we have different categories classmate category. There's on TV category of professional sports category. Nut Chila Chila. Can't beat new Chila. How does one spell that? I'm trying to imagine it. I'm surprised that we signed off as a society on apostrophes in names thing weird. In the realm of Doug DeLuca and people of color. I'll never forget Doug DeLuca is a pies on from Long Island, or whatever he he's a fun guy. But anyway, he did work for the black circus. There was something. There's something called the black circus, and he worked as a active or something for the black circus for a number of years and Jeff Ross one day when we're talking about Doug DeLuca going to work for the blacks circus. He said, oh, you mean the greatest show on earth? We laugh. Jeff Ross joke. Jeff rosca. All right. They Seattle Seahawks. Have new safety. You ready for this one? Go ahmadi. Ooh. Tanja your question. My favorite name combined with face in pro football history is owed assist drunk ball with that big food main chew. He with those those sad is that he had on something Otis as stroke. Otis sister was bald when bald meant something. Yeah. Right. And they're great. They're great. Great footage like an also Otis. He would play and it'd be there were no domes in his head, which esteemed. Yeah. Ryan off Otis systems. Head Gary behind the glass. Otis this from the vest that would be my personal favorite the weird paradox of buckets, whether or not that's a cool name or weird one to have for one of the most fearsome guys in NFL history. Can you pull up Joey Bosa because as I say about Joey Bosa ace, and I want you to get a look at them and see if you agree the Los Angeles chargers high end defensive end Sastre on the other side of Melvin Ingram. Another great Joey Bosa looks exactly like what somebody named Joey Bosa should look like at a motor that kid. By the way, I about big noses Joey Bosa has one of those. But he definitely looks like a guy would be named Joey Bosa. I like in terms of pass rushing Outside Linebackers or defensive ends. I would hope that everyone had a motor. If I pay seven million dollars order back. It's always code. You don't hear motor when it's applied to to a black, man. It's always a white guy who has a high motor. That's the thing. There's Joey Bosa. Yeah. Joey could he have been named Vic maybe would be acceptable Bosa, certainly. Yeah, he's his name couldn't be Seth. That's for. Sure now. But it could be a Chad Bosa interesting, so okay, Ugo Ahmadi is one but then from the world hockey get a load of this one Kappa Kako. Acco woke aggo in the last five years. Amadi and Capito Kako her right? Why you can never call. What team does Capito Kako? I'm not sure exactly. I know he plays. I became aware of him. Because someone dropped me a line to make me aware. I think he's an international kid at this point. I think it's like a nineteen year old Swede or fin on the national. I'm one of those kind of teams. Yeah. You could never call one of their games. Finish. You couldn't call a game with Campo caq because lie because it'd be fine when he was on the ice, even then on the ice there'd be one guy handling the puck going down the middle. And you'd be like Capela Kako following the play Cafo Kako. He's disley. What's his no scored but cap carrying name guy. But is there to greet him and high five oh now Capela Kako Zoff the ice? He's watching intently look at Campo Kako on that, wait a minute. He's going for Gatorade. Squeeze bottle cap Kako. Now, he's standing up to recognize someone in the crowd. I don't know what's going on the ice. But cap Kako Capela Kako appears to be moving towards twelve zero route to guy named Hiroto to I don't know Ugo Ahmadi or Capela Kako are as good. I leave it to you to make a decision a couple of years ago. I really am. Not sure I don't know if he's done with his eligibility UCLA freestyle some more time. So so Jamaa. Oh, so soja Mahba. What's this sport football running back? I think he may be let's say a mall and Dave damage cheque's. And I'm close gase. Whatever here, we got actually hit it, Gary. Really? Yeah. Amadi? Capela kako? Guy. I don't know. I think that makes the case that's almost unfair to poor Google Ahmadi. But you can't stand up against now. That's an original film. I like so so. Through life. Dylan's got a big nose hot chick entry. Yeah. I mean, we got a couple here. Now, look there plenty there's plenty of dudes. Like, I mean, there's plenty of plenty. And plenty of big schnauzer studes. I mean, what's his name? God Liam Niessen is like guys considered super hands. Got a big old Shah, right? Where the female ones, we got Oma Houma Thurman. That's a big nose. I it's funny. I've always said she that is one about ten fifteen years ago. I felt like the entire universe. Fellas was in on all of whom was the goal to to me. I never that was always lost on me for some reason tall blonde built well super attractive kicks a lot of ask that as well. But I know she has a unique knows. But this big. Know, you're talking about beak you're talking about a honker you wanna speak. Yeah. Penelope cruz. I was thinking about Penelope mouth. What about cat? Deng's cat dinning come on significant never got past or tits. Go gene kits back Ashini up. Again. It's like, you know, when you get in a Vegas Otell. That elevator doesn't go to the twenty-seven floor. You gotta get. That's how I am a cat denting inner tips, I just go just go up and down the elevator that gets their face. I elevated. Nice quilt quick little punctuation there. Listen, I think we've covered it all today. Well, no Dylan Ren says otherwise be contentious. But Tom Brady's wife has Shaw's. That's a good one. Can I say if it's well defined like sort of pointy and has a purpose to it. We'll we'll give it a pass. It can't be just sort of schnauzer. The key is the sort of big nose and glasses schnauzer versus the sort of angel fish NAS this streamline what viable Brits break it down. Just the next hour get into that. This is just the start of the conversation. This is not punctuated by a sniff and and end of conversation. This is the end of this particular part of the conversation that we'll be back with more good sports for you next week until then four Adam Corolla, Dave damasec, good sport out. Folly? Adam girl issue on Twitter show followers on Twitter. Adam curly voicemail at eight six three four one seven four four subscribed to curl a classic. So good by Chris locks mono- Fangio Vanni. Is available where you listen to podcasts. Tickets influence, the live podcast degree events books, movies and more like the ace ban, Adam curlers unprepared without them Ray this weekend at the Bray improv and the ten reason club Thursday nights at ten in downtown, Los Angeles Goto, Adam Corolla dot com and say tuned for AP news. As we walked suburban garden, gnome, Catholic Catholic without stubbing, it notice it moves like not dole. It's inanimate and utterly without brain function. But despite that when it got Nomi is about how gyco not only saves people money, but also gives them access to licensed agents twenty four seven online and over the phone. It's clear to them. You should switch because. Yes. Switching to gyco is a no brainer on second thought. Maybe don't want garden gnomes to Catholic people might talk Little Caesars again by giving you one large pizza pie with five religious meat toppings. Hot and ready every day between four eight PM for only nine bucks. You heard me right count. Topics, including pepperoni, sausage, bacon, and ham. Order yours on our convenient mobile app or simply walk into Little Caesars and pick up your large hot and ready five meat feast for just nine dollars tonight. Participating locations left excavating. China trade and farmers. I'm Tim Maguire AP news minute. The escalating trade war between the US and China causing real concerns on American farms, Ohio farmer. Brett Davis says he and others are losing tens of thousands of dollars because of the tariffs one out of every three rows of soybeans that we raise here in America in the pathway around the world in China, President Trump tells reporters before he left for Louisiana. He's confident in reaching a deal with China. What you wanna know something you wanna know something we always win. His administration is prepping another twenty five percent tariff on another three hundred billion dollars in Chinese goods, including many household items and clothing sources say the Senate intelligence committee as an agreement for a private interview with Donald Trump junior ending the fight over previous subpoena, the president's oldest son. He's expected to meet with the committee for up to four hours in the middle of next month. I'm Tim Maguire.

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ACS (Part 1): Vir Das and Ahmed Ahmed

The Adam Carolla Show

00:00 sec | 1 year ago

ACS (Part 1): Vir Das and Ahmed Ahmed

"Thanks for listening to the Adam Corolla show on podcast one blue Chiro like sex trick question. Of course, you try blue dot com. Performance enhancement for the bedroom? The first shoe balls with the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and it's cheaper to works up to two times faster than pills take on full or empty stomach. You can do online physician console for free. Just a few minutes to connect with the blue dot com. Affiliated physician they'll help you out. And you'll be on your way if you qualify get prescribed online and do it quickly. No awkward impersonal, doctor, visit or pharmacy line ship directly to your door in discreet, packaging, made in the USA chew it and do it. Visit blue dot com. Get your first order for free use the promo. Code Adam, just pay five bucks for shipping. That's B. L U E C H E W blue cheese. Oh dot com, promo code, Adam. Visit blue dot com and get your first order three when you use promo code, Adam just pay five dollars shipping. That's B L U E dot com, promo code, Adam. As we walked suburban garden, Catholic Catholic without stubbing. It notice moves like not at all it's inanimate and utterly without brain function. But despite that when it got gnome his about how gyco not only saves people money, but also gives them access to licensed agents twenty four seven online and over the phone. It's clear to them. You should switch because. Yes. Switching to Geico is a no brainer on second thought. Maybe don't what garden gnomes to carefully. People might talk. Girl drinks proudly presents Adams monthly not. Five dollars. Get one. Favorite stuff product trolleys? You get the drink your choose. It's hard to. This month's ship includes a collection of all thirty two banks bracket madness songs costume spies plan from Gina. Grad ourself, a signed copy of one of Adam's favored movies of all time, defending your life. Plus a bottle from Corolla drinks. Sign up today for twenty five dollars and get one month or keep the shipments coming so prep year males box and get ready for Adams monthly nut. From Corolla one studios in Glendale, California. This is the Adam Corolla show Adams today veered off with Gina grad on news and drying on sound effects plots a call from comedian Ahmed Ahmed now. The only intersection -ality. He cares about is you turning right on red at an intersection. Adam Corolla, get it on. Get it on the trip. The. This close to drop and traffic. I drive drive. I tell you head. She grad. Hey, gene. Hey, going up. Driving draw. I thought this was popping. It's bigger pop music. All right. So let's see have thank sponsor for this half of the show blue chew dot com. Adam Castro challenge, you can tweet us your questions that Adam Corolla show with the hash that casual challenge. So I'm at Ahmed is a stand up comedian whose all over the news or Twitter, or whatever. Because he's in Florida doing a set somebody called nine one one on him. They thought who's making terrorist threat the threat from stage and for DASA's a stand up comedian hosts going to come in here as as well. I watched a special very funny been in before we'll talk about him. So I'm Ed I'm Ed is going to call land. I we have let's just set the table the story for people that don't know it. Is he was doing a show in Florida and somebody called nine one one basic, okay? Do you have any more that? I I mean, we listen to the nine one one call. We don't have to you can just set the table. And then we'll when we get him on the phone. We'll do that here. So this is mother's day performed at off the hook comedy club at Naples, Florida. And he went onstage in his opening joke with something along the lines of are there any Middle Eastern people in the house and then ever raised her hand. And this is a court at the nine one one call and the guy the guy said, oh, I think he was trying and then you said, I think he's trying to get a terrorist group together, and he was afraid for his life sleepers. Nine one one call was from somebody just in the audience who like went outside. He was at the early show the calls funny because like I didn't buy tickets. I got these tickets for free. But there are a lot of Middle Eastern people. There is assume and also they saw his name was Madame, Ed. Yeah. So he was concerned. He said he has a later show at seven tonight Senate deputy out. So we'll talk and find out what happened that will play the nine one one Carl, and it was interesting because I was talking to max paddock earlier today because I had six hours in the car because at a meeting and Hulu and who's in Santa Monica and who know more than two hours ago, I was a million miles away where where I live. So it's time to roll some calls in the car. And I said talking about this guy because somebody tweeted me, I was like, oh, we should check into this guy. And then Chris said you want me to try to run the guy down comedian? Yeah. Yeah. So I said, yeah, go find him, and then we hung up and then he reached out to Chris incidently. All right. I got a weird reach out comedian, Sarah Silverman story. I'll tell you the second also people somebody tweeted me, a funny rich man poor man that I like, and it just reminded me that it's been a number of years. So I thought it hits you guys with some rich man poor, man. And some of these are mine while the first batch is mine and a lot of people tweet me funny ones, but we have an intro. Rich, man. Go couldn't have done it without that. What had no context? No meaning living in a borderless Wallis space getting. Yeah. All right. So this is that things have rich men and poor Manhattan. But it's really if you're trying to figure it out whether it's a tool tune or Richmond poor man, there's a set of criteria that the tool. Tune is you really liked the song? You would roll the window up. If somebody pulled up next at the light because you're in barris little these little measurements. And. Sometimes people use give me Richmond. But it has to be something middle American middle class. Pampa would never do. Right. But you just couldn't picture the guy. Drove the tan tore station wagon. Both parents were schoolteachers never for them. Yeah. So that's an easier way to look look at it. It all started with the outdoor shower. I was just like there's no middle class outdoor showers. Poor guys. Go down to the Venice be do it at the on the sand or use a hose and front of a supermarket or something and rich guys have a whole Cabana and kitchen and shower area and everything by by their pool. That's not a middle-class move. Spends the day in pajamas. Good Heff this one I liked rowing. One is literally Rohingya rowboat or living or the sort of Thailand, you know, sitting on the name out in the Marsh trying to get something to eat to refugee. Yeah. And this is this is crew team rowing. Never without their dog. Never without like like the poor guys has lamp cord tied for leash dragging them everywhere and the rich chick. So he's love sharing it under arm. Loves sorts. Mill class do not love swords crazy junkies? Use them for protection on the street. And then rich guys those coat of arms above the fireplace. It might it might be adjacent to something you've said before but camping in years whether your data win or your glam, ping. Yeah. That now the whole this glam ping when I dreamt this up in two thousand and three didn't exist. This motion of luxury camping spends the evening in front of a roaring fire fresh pants. Right dumpster right uses ladder with wheels. Now, that's more at Home Depot. And it's rolling the big frame around for eleven bucks an hour or library Vittori. The study. Where's an eye patch? The hor- version is the skin colored one with the staff infection that got from the bad. The the Lee press on nail of the lady there were soliciting. And then there's the black. I you know, the swayed I patch. Keeps liquor in a sack. The crown Royal. Jumped off versus the paperback. Here's some ones that people tweeted to me. And by the way, you can do it. Tweet us using the hash tag, rich, man. Poor man will read them on there. I like this one I got one a couple of days ago. What made me think about it doesn't give a shit about smoking cigarettes in public that is true rich like like, you get some dude. You get some rockstar. Some rich guy's whatever. They'll just they'll this light up anywhere. And then poor guys are like so fucking. Sue me. I'm smoking with your problem. Nobody else in Pasadena Beverly Hills smoking on the street. This one I read one way, and then I had to read the other way. And I think I worked out I it was confusing because it says on the paper hose made out of recycled materials, and I was like, and then I looked at it again in my brain went house made out of recycled materials, and I realize okay that works because the house is a bunch of cardboard boxes and refrigerator box and some corrugated crap leaned into a whatever. And then you're at Bakley junior. You're living in Venice, you're gonna make this thing out of reclaiming, and recycled whatever and the inside of the walls made of genes that have been pumped in and it has an R value of seventeen hundred and blah, blah, blah, guests and Dylan or somebody meant house. It says hose, it is house that that was me. Okay. Lives next to a rapper. Wow. Yeah. That's good. There's no that's a good example. Because there is no example of middle suburbia who lives next door around that doesn't exist. It does in the hood. And it's true. Whoever lives next, Jay z wherever Malibu, right? Backyard wedding. Yeah, it's a lot of that. And the rich man and the poor, man. World owning chickens. This is new the wasn't a rich man thing. It is. Now, a cool, Richard. Rides a bike to work. Rich man, poor man. So that'll you want to throw a few. We shall collect them. And we shall get into them. Further. Dawson Dawson has one it's timely end local lives in the Hollywood hills. Really on the hill verse or Getty's Hollywood how about this pursued by helicopter 'paparazzi spears. Pearl. So I had a sitting on. I don't do FaceTime or any of that phone. It's I don't know real-time FaceTime, whatever that the notion more phased do anything. I also like when I was a kid at sea like dick, Tracy. His watch would start bringing there'd be picture. Command commander. You know, the big bearded guy, dick, Tracy. Listen to me boys on the loose. And I thought like okay, but why would you possibly need the vase of this older guy telling this to you like how does that help? Ecologically has it make it? What's it? Make a difference. Bubba and. I'm sitting watching TV it's eleven fifteen last night and phone starts ringing. It's Sarah Silverman. And I'm like, okay. And I answer, and we're we're timing. Okay. Which I don't think she meant to do. That's a but most of the time. I don't know what to do with it. She was trying to Email me this really funny picture because I ran into her Sunday night at the comedy store. And then she was like, oh, we're talking about sunny, I think her and Jimmy came over to the house the day the kids came home from the hospital. So they're like miniature just sitting they'll bassinet, and they they came over to say, hi. And at some point she took this picture with sunny, which is pretty damn comical. And I think max paddle throw it up. But she ended up sending it. Crying. It's sunny making a very distressed crying kind of sunny face face, Sarah is making the same distressed crying safe as at the at the same time. But it's also weird because you're in your bathrobe, and you're sitting so I just answered the phone. I was talking. I don't know how to do it holding it in front of me, and we're talking and you do it. Some point. She goes it figures you'd have a picture of a car one picture of a car and your office. And I'm like what? Yes. It's behind me. Like, I guess you can see what's what's behind me. Then there's like I'm naked under this bathrobe. This is such an intrusion. We spoke for a while. And we had nice conversation. And again, I think she was trying to send me the Email hit the wrong button and Keno. We're having a nice chat. But it was a nice getting caught up. And it's a funny. It's a funny sunny picture and salsa funny. Sarah. Well, she's actually been she's been very high visibility on Instagram lately. I don't know if you know what she's been doing. But and it's been done before. But not as good as Sarah. Does it the difference between obscene on ABC's pictures what Instagram deems obscene what they go? She had a picture Chris craze. Maybe you could find it. She this picture of her medicine cabinet. Okay. So what I'm going to see if you can figure out why this picture was marked as obscene. And then she does a a bunch of pictures that are not marked obscene and see if you can figure out why. All her books are in the mirror. How her boobs are in the mare? Nice boobs, by the way. Yeah. So. So then she puts all these pictures of man boobs up and just put these are not obscene. Mine arbs that you know. So that's kind of what she's doing lately. And that was a that was a fun picture to figure out what was going on. Well, I screamed about it a million times. And I always have the kind of, you know, we don't know. Hey pornography. We'll know it when we see, you know, or whatever there's there's no way to define how do you define something when certain cultures walk around naked. And it's fine and other cultures dress head to toe, and it's not fine. Hurt is fine. Like, how do you have this standard? I it's easy to go. Here's how many ounces of liquid gallon in. Here's so many inches. A foot or centimeters are not how many inches, but here's a distance. Two thirds of an inch. You can't figure out this. You can't you can't put a label on it. Plus, it's always shifting and moving as I said, you know, when I start off in radio, oh, you could say pissed off. And you could say I'm pissed, but you can say I'm taking his or you can say guessing on somebody like all these stupid rules. And I've said that's and I would sit around all the time as an atheist carpenter. You couldn't say the word tents, but you could say jugs, and but Zuma's and hooters in in whatever, whatever others, I say, whatever you say, whatever you wanted for a brass, but you can say ten and I just go. Why is that tell me why that makes sense and explain to me how someone would get into trouble when I'd say, oh, this chicken have great set of cans or great Seta jugs. That's why she had a great set of hits. So I was like it doesn't make sense. And if it doesn't make sense it'll stop eventually now I'll be annoyed for between eight and seventeen years before. Eventually, it's like all these fucking signals in the city that turn red on the left, and nobody can go and the lights green. They will all blink yellow. Eventually, we'll just have twenty five years of retarded. Hell we you push these well because you bay them you guys of that. And then they'll change it. And then everyone will go should have done that a long time ago. Yes. Of course, they should have. So tits was one of those can't say tits can't say tits. And I was like why can't you say tits? You know, how we got in how we're able to back door in kits. Tedi bar. Oh, wow. They didn't like tits and they didn't like titties. But at some point you go we were at a titty bar and they'd go. Okay. We're not saying tits. But we're saying titties and you put bar and then titty bar became sort of synonymous or became you'd say wouldn't say strip club titty bar. So we got we couldn't get to tests we had to get to titty bar. And once we got to titty bar. This is like when we're doing our. Island hopping campaign to try to bomb. Japanese mainland to say we had to tainting guate- canal and a couple of these islands along the way to get close enough. Once we took titty bar. We could get in range of tits and then tits. And then, of course, once tits goes, no one cares anymore, which is okay. But why was everyone wringing their panties for fifteen years before this? Why we're like having serious discussions offices with adults should have held the line on on tits. The line is it really because of George carlin's bit. Are the seven words. Yes. The seven dirty words you can't say on in public radio broadcasts, and it's tits and motherfucker his conflict motherfucker cocker tits right after letdown. His God on piss cleared the bar. I don't know. They long cable all day long. Nobody cares anymore. Anyway, the hell we're talking about. There's oh. So I would stream all the time. I would I would be I wouldn't watch like my six hundred pound life or why had to have liposuction or had bypass? Five pass surgery. Whatever I just be watching TV and they'd run a commercial. The commercial was the dude all sad with the floppy tits, and he'd lost seventeen hundred pounds with the skinhead. No where to go or guys sheriff. Biggest loser. And biggest loser. When they would weigh in the fat guys that chicks would be wearing a sports bra. But the dudes would be just a short and those guys be seven hundred pounds. It'd be standing on the scale they had tits. And there was a discernible difference between the bodies, of course, you know, genitals or whatever. But like the were the same that the males. Once you clear five hundred pounds, you have more breasts than Sarah Silverman, more just fatty tissue underneath your nipple. So I would always look at that. And then change a channel, and then marvel at watching survivor, and they'd have like the Keeney. That's right. Up they'd have because we live in Saint society. And then you I'd be watching survivor, and they have the hot chicks and their bikinis. And they're redoing the obstacle cores. And at one point they crawl through the mud and jump up onto the cargo net. It'd be climbing up the cargo net and invariably their shorts. Their bikini bottom peel back and there'd be an inch and a quarter of ask crack on the on the wave model going up, and they tile it out. Then have to tile it out. And I'd be like what the fuck. What are we doing whose ideas are these who put these laws in place are they even in place who's going to sue you? What's going to happen? You just also later on the challenge would be like we have a piece of raw yak me. That's thirty pounds. We hang it from a chain. Your hands are tied behind your back. You have to eat as much Jack meet your team does. And then we'll throw up into a barrel, and we'll way or whatever they see faces covered with blood, and it was like. Putrid. It was like nauseating and catch a buck crackdown on a hot Twenty-three-year-old chick running up a cargo net. I don't even know what does it even mean. What's doing between Cleveland cleavage in in? But cracks I don't know. Anyway, I said there should just be one rule. One rule only since we're not gonna figure out piss or pissed on or pissed off or TD your TD's boobs jugs. It's all wildly subjective. I said it's the lasagna rule I'm sitting in front of the TV, and I'm eating those Anya, and if I see Sarah silverman's boobs in a reflection behind the mirror. I'm not going to push plate in front of you. Go full, no more, no more. Now, I'm not going to do that but much botched by the lack David dude. Or or any of that stuff? I will push the plate across or if I'm watching the same show. Like, I'm watching survivor, and I see the wave model going up. The cargo net I'm not gonna push to play when I see some ask crack, but when I see him eating maggots, covered whatever in the east challenge. Gizzard challenge later, I will push across. So if we just use the lasagna test subjective Jackson lasagna test, and that's right. You're all Americans speak. Well, I feel like everybody every person I've ever met would eat, right. Do that lasagna if they saw some wave model ass crack, but if they saw the putrid, whatever challenge with the maggots on it, they wouldn't now or the dude with his shirt off the big man titties versus Sarah Silverman. Nice cities in the mirror. Well, that's exactly what I did the other day because I told you that new show chur noble is on HBO. And as very curious how that was going to be acted out in portrayed, and I made at lunch, and I was so excited like a Sunday. I want to check out the show. And I was like, you know, what I don't wanna watch a radioactive what it does to people skin, even if it's a fictional and eat lunch. I can't watch this right now. Agreed. All right. Let's see. Ahmed? I'm Ed Cohen quicken. Let me hit Castrol edge. Tweet us at an Corolla show with Cashel challenge with your questions for Castro challenge. Brought to you by Castrol edge formulated with fluid. Titanium technology reduces friction maximizes engine performance. Three times strong against Wisconsin breakdown leaning full synthetic oil. You got the question max better. Yup. At infidel built wants to know this through Instagram, hashtag, casual challenge ace how come the dots and market is. So upside down, I blame you Yemen. Somebody tweeted me or somebody told me the other day there was a to forty on bring a trailer, and it's like fifty thousand bucks and these dots and five ten these are shit boxes. One for forty four thousand dollars or something that Japanese people were snobs when it came to Japanese cars, they perform they work their everything. They're just not European and they're not Mercedes or not for our people are kinda snobs about it. But as they look back on it. They realized cars work they won. And there's something to them. So they've just kind of come around. Also, it's an element of you have to. Wait for people to mature. So you have a bunch of guys who dug those cars when they were eighteen or nineteen. And now, they're fifteen the half some money, and they're willing to write a check. And that's when the market goes up. That's kind of how it works. But I'm glad to have all my Japanese cars. So so far ahead of the curve. So thank you Castrol edge. All right. I'm ed. I'm Ed is on line three. Do we have the nine one one call that? Maybe we'll play before we bought him up. Yeah. Here we go. County sheriff's office. If you call me this one is recorded. How may I help you? Hi, I don't know if I have the right department, but left evening, I went to a comedy show and comedy shows happening again tonight at seven o'clock, okay. Off the hook on tro familiar with that. Okay. That was a comedian. Made a man and he's. You know, Middle Eastern. And I said when you got out on the stage was okay, how many Middle Eastern people. We have here and whole bunch of people ready to hand. I guess they went to see him because he was Middle Eastern. You know, when you have a name amid I'm Ed. Right. Good. So and they weren't a lot of people there. I guess because of the name. I went because I got three tickets. And. People brazen is they said where you from about one of Iraq. I'm her in from Pakistan from here. I'm from there. That's great. He said we could organize our own little terrorist immigration. And I don't think that was right, right? Really? Yeah. All right. That was from the day. He went the day before. He called the next day. He went to the early show. He went to the show the day or the night before the day before. I know I'm all up today. Police stop talking. It's well. Well, if you in deal it it's weird because we got the nine one one call we've got the nine one one call. It's very interesting point that it was a day later. You think when you say I got the nine one one call you think that guy got up and left standing in the lobby. So the part where did it a day earlier s- codes from I was wrong waited a whole day. Wow. That's even weirder. So was that nine one one? Or was it some sort of department? It was nine one one. He just wanted to know what department. I think it's a legitimate call. I mean, I think I don't think that's goof. You know, why? Because if it's a goof, you put something more gravity. There's a little more in their Bubba the thing that was crazy about that. Is he saw the show? He's on it slept on it. And did it the following day. That's crazy. That's right. Ahmed? I'm ed. Hey, guys. How are you? Good. Sorry. That happened to you on behalf of all the blue eyed Evans who live in the United States. First of all, thanks for help me on your show. I'm a big fan. I just want to say that. But no policies, man. You know, this stuff happens. And you know, this is this is America. Now, I guess. It was unfortunate. But and he actually this quoted the joke. I didn't say we can start a terrorist organization. That was never said he just kind of took it out of context. So. So. Yeah. So this is obviously making the rounds on the internet because I stumbled upon it earlier today, and then I don't know why you saw fit to reach out to us. I'm happy. It did a no coincidence that I just saw like favorite tweeted it or something or how did that work? I was getting a lot of people like just hitting me up on social media had a couple of news outlets reach out. You know, I listened to your to your stuff. I'm like I said I'm a fan. And I I know you're a comedian as well, you probably appreciate the story more than anybody did. And that's pretty much why? So this fella, do you know who made this call? No idea. Remember if you listen to the whole call. To keep said something to the effect of. Yeah. We're going to get a Patty wagon out there for you guys to or something young young, man. And. So he'd made the call. And then what are the cops do? So like, you guys mentioned, you know, he he went home he slept on it. He thought about it. And then made the call the next day. So I first of all let me just throw this out there after each show, I go outside and shake hands. And thank people coming and most people will say, thank you back. And if we take a picture, and you know, you know, how it is comics do it. And and I would say most people were super nice and kind and appreciative and very welcoming and everything like, I'm doing a meet and greet. You know, like terrorists don't do me ingredients. Okay. Well, they. Yeah. They big only farce to meet they rarely get to the great or the formal goodbye. Roughly most time everybody in the pizza parlors me. Good to meet you. Right. But yeah, I agree. That's not on the other hand, if you're deep deep cover, then this is what we expect today. So because all yeah because. Yeah, that's that's the first disguise and profile. We're gonna go undercover as comics and I'm Erica. So anyway, the next day I get to the club shows at seven o'clock. I get there like six forty. I'm sitting in the back of the room manager, walks up, really politely in kind of a little embarrassed came in, you know, sorry about this. There's like to Florida police officers outside. I wanna talk to you. And I was like for what they said they somebody made a nine one one call about a joke did last night and they were concerned for their lives. I thought I thought he was joking. I was like literally waiting for a camera to come out, and whatever and I turn around and sure enough to. You know to guys out there. You know? American female and a an probably like, maybe a Latino police officer. And I walked out said, hi, I'm seriously. You know, what's the problem? And they said there was a call about a joke. You made I can you. Tell me the joke may said he was something to the effect of you calling out Middle Eastern people how you can start a terrorist organization. I said I never said that I could send you the recording every court on my sets. I said I can Email it to you can listen to yourself. I never said that. But even if. What I'm going to have to go ahead. You right now Duran Duran's ahead and step back away from explosive vest, take your religion, and can bury inside you ask you at this particular time is go ahead and take a name like Steve Johnson and ahead one of these as you put on a blonde wig for me. Okay, right now and lucky to dress a little more like Dennis the menace and a little less like a so go ahead. Take pole mount like bunny ears. And then it just go ahead and bully peanuts out. I'm assuming okay right now. So it looks like an elephant trunk. So when I'm going to have to ask you for me. Okay, right now, head back into the green room and sit on the sofa either way too big for the green room or does well for the green room and just got an empty out recorder all the jets and all the arbiter of what's okay right now. I mean, it wasn't that forensic pretty pretty funny. I wonder if. There's have cop talk. Oh, interesting black female police officers. I feel like cop talk is you have to be white and you need a mustache. But hopefully, we're living in a world where Hispanic cops are starting to catch on. And even the lady of color are starting to catch onto the extra cop talk. Okay, right now. Right. Why I think when the call came in every probably like resigned, why cops or do we send ethnic concerts for the they do it like sixty minutes does their interviews. Talk to Justice. I wonder if they're the most of that, right? I guess I mean, you know, the funny thing is I would up on stage after the whole again like they're super kind and professional. They even said to me. Hey, this is the first time this has happened. We're a little barest about this. And this is just nothing that, you know, we don't get calls like there's ever. And you know, they're very apologetic. Which I was you know, really kind of I was impressed by 'cause you know, police officers don't normally have to apologize for other people's behavior. So. And then they left. So I went up on stage. And I talked about it out of the gate. I said, hey, this just happened to the outside and people in the audience, no way. Really? And they said what was the joke? And I said, well, let me just go through my settlers with you guys. And if you feel threatened over any of these jokes, raise your hand, let's let's come up with a safe word. Peca chew or something. I don't know the guys can tell me, and I went I went joke for joke and the audience was with me, and laughing, and I said anybody feel threatened tonight. And everybody was like, no. But all right. Well, it's obviously isolated. Yeah. You had a nutty Floridian hill. Can you do just for fun? Can you do that opening two minutes that you recall, or as you recall it in your set that he protested and pretend to be audience members and here it with the ears of babes? Okay. Well, he he does he I do. In fact, ask how many Middle Eastern people are are in the audience, you the bed or no. Any Middle Eastern people in the audience. Okay. There's a few of us. It only takes it. Only takes one of us. Oh. So tell joke it takes one little. Thank you. And then and then the I think the other thing he miss he misquoted mistook was I start kind dissecting the crowd where you from your from Lebanon, you're from oh where are you from Egypt to Egypt in the audience? That's great. That's three of us. Hey, we can start a revolution dot gonna laugh. Right. And then I said something to the effect of you know, all just us three and a tweet and we can start a revolution. You know? It's a stupid playful sarcastic humor. It's in the moment. It's very playful. I'm really shocked the guy took it, you know. And to a magnitude that didn't need to needed didn't need to go. And and it is what it is clearly never heard of the Arab spring because this was not a terrorist joke. World. Yeah. I mean, I never used the word terrorist. But when you say we'll start a revolution. That's that's what he thinks of not a not a government uprising. The people got together and tried to make a change. Yeah. You didn't you didn't get the memo. Well, here's what I want to say we go nuts on stuff like this. But there's so many nut jobs out. There is long as this is the first time it's happened or it's super few and far between like I'm not one of these blowhards at like if there's one Gile left behind or there's one child that isn't gonna world class. There's one hillbilly in Florida, and the panhandle doesn't chat out a call. Non. I am fine with one of everything. Yeah. Vine with one of these guys one drunk driving car accident one school when kid that falls through the cracks. I'm what what is long as this is something that doesn't happen with any frequency at all all all be fine tonight. Is that is that a safe or fair statement? I'm Ed I'm at I think that's one hundred percent fair. And I agree actually because you're gonna have stuff like this happen. You know, you're gonna have the bad with the good. And like I said it is what it is. Right. Yeah. Well, if you take. My vice in warned the maga- hat out on stage. We could avoid this whole thing's just in Florida to send a message later on. You're gonna be rooster teeth feathers and Sunnyvale put leave it in the leave it in the backpack for that show. Thanks. I'll I'll give you great. Thanks, man. Yeah. The comedy bar Nashville Thursday tomorrow through Saturday should say and then San Diego comedy palace, next, Friday, Saturday and Sunnyvale rooster t. Stomping grounds, and then there wants to seven minutes of bad comedy. All right, shoot them a tweet at I'm at comedy. Let's see we got take a knee with Irwin Winkler. Again. The producer of every movie ever heard of Brian Fillion a couple of I mean, raging bull. Rocky goodfellas, and there's one more number best picture for and now all all the creed stuff and all of it. But. Play a little clip of the little fifty second clip of the right stuff. He's going to be he's going to be on the on. All ready. Yeah. He's on taken very inspirational guy here. We got one of the things we did was called the right stuff based on Tom wolf's or great book about the American space program. And the man that had the right stuff was a an air force test pilot of by Chuck Yeager. I said to you once how is it that you've just get in a plane, and you break the sound bury your test pilot, you go up with a plan. You never know. What's whether it's going to be, you know, a successful flight or not you could crash, and he should you know? I just I just do it just get in a plane, and I do it. I don't think about it that much. I just do it. And I think part of what we do in making movies is just do it. We don't say, okay. This one will do because it's going to be. A big hit this one would win you. We just like it. And we just go with it. He should live your life that way, maybe not buying the yoke of a rocket ship. But just in general, I want examining why I hate it. When you go, let's do something or why don't you do something? And then they give you five reasons why it's not gonna work. And it's like, okay. Okay. Just try it. Well, that could be said before you leave the house at anytime. There's always five reasons why shouldn't leave the house, and then there's a whole bunch up side if it does work out. So please just start start using that as a roadmap to live. Daas yesterday about that Brian. You might have have some inside knowledge because your big movie guy. I wonder if those kind of inspiring words about just do it don't worry about how it's going to turn out in the movie business is sort of a dying breed of people because and studios you here. It's all rhythm. And that's not romantic, but Irwin seems to capture that old spirit of like do what you love, you know, the net will appear. Yeah. He's he was kind of talking about the how much change in the business, obviously for him starting off with rocky all and all that stuff so many years ago in before that but said, the good news is a lot of these film companies make so much money on their tent pulse. Stuff that they can actually Ford to throw some down some shackles down to the guys making the more interesting smaller bore stuff for for them. But you're right. Everything's being focused group to death. You know, make sure that appeals to this or that or whatever when in fact the. Biggest like like deadpool seems like oh is it was not an R. Rated superhero movie was like real like stretch. Like, oh, kids won't go. See it as much money. Huge. It took a chance and paid off. All right. We have see what I got play a not tackle bell material. You guys can go get my standup special. Speaking to stand up a lot of stand up talk around here lately. The it's available on chassis C, H, A, S, wine items, and Amazon and all that stuff. And I read your reviews, I appreciate it. So get it and enjoy it a play a little homelessness clip minute long clip from it. And then we'll talk we'll bring in daas. Oh, I wanna give max Pat Dillon. I was watching for the special last night and enjoying it on net. Flicks. There is. Story. He ended the special on which is context and and waitress and leaving three hundred fifty dollar tip. And when he was telling the story on stage, he said, it was a forty dollar Bill, and I left the three hundred fifty dollar tip, which is great. Then in the end credits. They were showing a lot old pictures a lot old stuff, and they showed the actual Bill, and it was thirty two bucks. Which actually makes it even bigger. He's a bigger here. This close to Phil spector in terms of his tip. The best part about the fill back their stories that guy wanting into Dan Tana's over to Shirley temple eleven dollars and left like a four hundred dollar tip. I would assume he was doing that. Just in case he shot somebody later, and that would just come out and core, I would've never convicted that. Like this. But I thought and I wanna know I wanna ask for dos because in that world in the world of comedy when you say, I did this. And I did that in the world of comedy. If you said, I fought a guy that was six four that means that guy was six, right? Always go that Iraq did a three hundred and fifty dollar tip on forty two is no hyperbole less. I terribly a rounded down on thirty two even better story and. In two thousand percent dip in in the comedy world. You always go. If I hear someone say was at thirty two dollars thing. I picture it was fifty bucks or whatever. So it's weird that it went that way. And also trying to figure out why he remembered it that way. Was there the make sure and his victory after the fact oh. But you know, when people remember things, they they're kind themselves in the three hundred and fifty dollar shave his generous, right? But if you misremembered it'd be twenty dollars, but I don't know. We'll find out now here's what I do. I watch the end of the stand up special. They'd do all like beat credits. And I see I see the receipt and stop and I'm like thirty two dollars. He said forty Tim, and I'm like, okay. I gotta rewind nine minutes and try to slow it down and find that part. And I'm like, I knew it stood up pump. My fist silently yourself. Gazillion rice, max, silman and the head of my Paul sack is moving around my robe, none. So anyway, here's my stand up special. We got homelessness, and then we'll opening for danced and any any any answers any bets they answers on that piece. It my guess is the simple explanation as he found the risk picture receipt. After he did the special was like, oh, it was thirty two. Right. But that's. I want you remember things you remember. He he didn't say it was around forty bucks or thirty bucks. He's like forty dollars spaghettis and normally good yourself. Intentionally went. What's your guess? Adam. I I think I agree with Brian. It's also that drop I don't I don't feel like it helped the joke. It didn't hurt that joke. It's like three hundred and fifty dollar tip on anything under a thousand boxes crate, and certainly anything under fifty bucks. It doesn't really matter. Three fifty could be twenty nine bucks before four bucks. It's three hundred fifty dollars tip. So I think he misremembered it. And also when you do comedy, you'll go out and say at one time like the first time, and it just becomes the way. You say it just doesn't make a difference doesn't hurt. It doesn't help. It doesn't anything. And then. Yes, I think later on when he put the special again found the receipt, but we'll notice we're going to find out this podcast was bombed. I was like what else shall we believe or not about you? Here's. All right. I'll play a clip from not Taco Bell material. I've had to start for a million years. Right. And people think I'm kidding. But I'm really really not LA has a lot of crime. We don't have a police force everyone. Is scared shitless all the cops don't wanna get out of their cars anymore. All the black lives matter shit, and everything is going on out there camper, Nick, showing up at their house and taking me. Who's on the front porch? That's cabinet. He's taken a knee. Mark Carrico with every fucking piss. The fuck. I just got out of my car. I didn't mean anything the cops are scared. They're not on this three the crimes going through the roof. There's no police presence anymore. But we have homeless people up that was do what if we just gave every homeless person a copy uniform? You could sleep with your front doors unlocked. You could leave your laptops on top your car be the safest played never going to be scared shitless to commit crime. It would be a little confusing though. It'd be like what's that cop doing over there? He's throwing up into a dumpster. You enjoy that. Yeah. The presence, and they'd never know which ones actual chance. No. So enjoy that. And I'll read your reviews we're coming to brea this Friday and Saturday doing a couple of live stand up shows with Adam rain, then also do an crawls on prepared. We'll bring in for daas, we'll get to the the hard hitting questions about the forty two versus thirty two. I don't know if you guys are all wired that way, I was like drinking some Scott. It was like eleven at night wrap my call with Sarah Silverman. I'm sorta half in the band. Soon as we got to the end. I was like what? Ford, you know, backing up. I remember watching it, and I just thought. Wow, he really did it, and that's all I thought I didn't even think to look at the other number. That's always something you would do because I've seen you do that. Now, we have to hard him back on all the conversations people. Have I told you seven thirty you heard seven o'clock. I don't work that way. I don't work that way. I hear it. It makes a Mark. Even when I'm not listening. I'm lizzy. Oh, I definitely said it. Yes. You who can't find your phone? You who doesn't know where your car is right now. You definitely said this one hundred percent, okay. Version of that is terrorizing Christie that's her name now port Christie with when she watches reality TV because it's really shows as I'm finding are pretty sloppily made like sloppily edited. There's eighty are all over the place. Doesn't match like Frank. And all of a sudden something will bug me because I'm not paying attention. But like I'll hear like rewind that that person in say that she'll. Why look right. Wash the person say something with their doctor the camera that was clearly recorded after the bother us like what bothers me is you make me do this. I get it on the same way. And I get the artistic license part two part. That would bump me on the the shows is they're all sitting around the dinner table and the youngest daughter in the family goes dad, I've decided to marry Jim and then they cut to the dad's face going devastated. Aw, smash out to commercial. And then they come back and they go dad, I've decided marriage muzzle. Go. Let's let's you're like, okay. You can't do that that dad is really different than what hap- actions that you shouldn't do a little agr in the person's back. Never trust a reaction shot people in reality TV, never Shrestha reaction show. All right. Let me just hit. Gyco. Everyone's got the to do list. Drop off the dry cleaning pick up the milk. Put out the cat and take in the dog. How about you save tons of money on your car insurance? Just go to gyco dot com. Fifteen minutes could be saving fifteen percent or more on your out to insurance. Take that extra money. Put it in your pocket at geiko, that's geiko dot com. A couple minutes and see just how much you could be saving. Right. Comedian special very funny special except for that abortion at the end with the twenty percent difference in actual stated number of the the Bill and the actual set on the receipt. Ver- DASA funny guy. Live shows everywhere coming up, it's kind of funny. You know, how like when you take someone like, Madonna or share or somebody and you add their whole name. It's actually more confused. Name as this looking like, he's going to be in Washington DC, the John F Kennedy Center, and I'm like at the Kennedy Center added John and half and a pause now because I play he center, but I don't know if I play the John F could've been George anyway, we'll bring dust right after this. I can't believe it that Philip brought his little brother on our mission into orbit. How long until it got their loan get they're all learn until we get there. No. I can't believe how easy it was to save hundreds of dollars on my car insurance with gyco. What's this button? Do what's this button? Do what's this button? Do. Believe at geiko could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. Unprepared. This weekend at the brea, improv with special guest. Adam ray. Delusional delusional? I do feel like that something that's going around more and more these days. Maybe it started with pets in the past animals were pretty much either be Burton or we ate them either. You gotta pull my fat ass up this canyon side, or I'm going to eat you or both when you run out of gas dragging, my fat ass up the side of the sale, then I'll each you four shows this weekend on Friday to on Saturday live comedy sets from Adam and Adam and then find out just how unprepared Adam Corolla is Bray improv Friday night and Saturday night. Get your tickets now at out, I'm Corolla dot com. Reach out and talk about religion. What is religion? It's really old comic book. It's really all superhero story. Mostly is your Batman Christians. Jesus is your superman single hero comic books, but Hindus. We created the avengers, motherfuckers. That's how. Did you think I was in coming to you? That's only Hinduism is. It's the NGOs. There's too many guys. And nobody knows what the story is. And don't eat. No matter what we say. We don't understand any of it. We just ended with don't. Don't eat beef is our dance spies. Ito? We always come back to that shit in the. We don't eat beef. We militant about that shit. We will eat a human being before we need. In a hundred years India's just going to be like three leftover Hindus twenty seven million cows. On the girl show could see again, my friend. I gotta tell you like, I'm an ATS. I'm shopping around for religion and market. I I asked questions like what Dave staff the Sunday during football season. Like, yeah. Okay. I'll donate beef out. Like, we don't have to get to set foot in your temple, you've church your place of worship there's certain things where I would be if you said no random rip for life. I'm out. All right. No football Sunday done one thing. That's the only thing premarital sex. Okay. Everything else. Okay. Just beef. You're saying I got the hottest chicken the land funny. She loves you was one minor setback. She ships out of her. Perfect. And and you guys should enjoy the rest of your lives together. And I'd be like that one thing is. One might be at dealbreaker. This is by the way, the quickest Joni from Hinduism sharing. Seven seconds. We've covered tech that Bill Maher former record point three seconds set by pill Marne. Five thousand two religious yet. Right. So we're hurt us. I guess you may have heard us talking there about the thirty to forty two. Now, man, I watch a standup special wearing jewelers I got to the end. I was like go back. So how do so first off? That's a it's a great story. And it's a funny story, it sort of wraps up the the evening very nicely puts a bow on it. But how did you get from the actual thirty two to the onstage? Forty two. I'm going to start by saying a hold you guys that was outside. So I'm just happy to hear three Americans talk about mathematics that. That's nice. So in truth. It was a mess up. And I'll explain how I went. And did the thing before I shot the special, and it was thirty two bucks left tip. And I didn't think I was going to talk about it as an ending piece. I don't like a month and a half before the special, and so I just left the tip because that's something that I wanted to do. And then I I was writing the special and I'm like, I don't have in need a good end. I need something. That's that shows that idiot net is kind of poignant at the same time. So I'm gonna talk about this. But I didn't have any photographs. And so I did it again. So you you the tip again job that's seven hundred. So I went back to the restaurant and did it again, just so I could take photographs of it right service. You're falling over. So I mean, it's a gigantic restaurants. There's like one hundred tables or something like that from when I used to work there. So I had to do it to times documented for the special, right? When I did it again, it was it was whatever it was. It was the actual check amount. Right. But by that time, I shot special. So I went back after shot the special to do it. Again, has anybody else ever brought this up? No. The last time. I just I don't know what it's weird hyper-vigilance. I have and in my world. It means something and everyone else's world. That means nothing as it should. Because it doesn't affect the joke at all in a way shows sort of humbling because it's shows that you didn't lie and you didn't even embellish. I mean, we've all been in that zone where I had him. And it was a good moment. It was a moment where you had to seem sure of yourself. I had seconds left in the show. So that number was forty two and it just kind of committed to it. Yeah. But I didn't wanna change the receipt. Like Photoshop something. I just kinda put it up the end of it when we were doing the wanna you wanted to go. That level of chicanery. Yeah. You know? And I don't know you tell me like when you're when you're pursuing artistic endeavors. There's a part. That's like you have to certain point you have to go. I'm okay with this. But I'm not okay with that. Yeah. Like their things you do if you do crank Yankers there things you do where you go. We couldn't get the person to sign off. We have to do something different. But it can never be something that didn't happen. It has to be something that happened. You can go ahead. And do the same thing duplicate it get a new receipt. Take picture that as long as it happened. Exactly that way beforehand that sort of your moral, compass are testing moral, compass. Yeah, I think so I I mean, I didn't wanna make up a lie and then have to shoot that. Because I told ally onstage, right? And I kinda went onstage with the I did do this. But now I do have to follow the rules. I do have to do it again, it it feels like and maybe it's just us. 'cause. We've been inundated I have late, and I feel like I've spoken to a lot of comedians that were, you know, used to be as an Irish guy talion guy bunch of Jewish guys and some blindfold could stand up comedy. It's become kind of a world. Art form now, and it feels like it's growing fast in into opening doors for again, it was like it was like oh women in comedy and other folks at neces- or whatever but the whole Middle East. I feel has been in an Africa and everywhere that whole part of the world has been opened up in the last few years feels like really quickly affair statement. Yeah. I think what it's done is the mainstream going to open to to unique poises. All different voices and unexplained that like, you know, you me it a podcast years ago. When I first on that special, right? And the first special was kind of introductory. So I was talking about gun control. I was talking about American serial, I just just to introduce myself to this market, and then on this special like, I kind of wanted to tell the story, and I was really worried about the fact that he man this is really Indian story, you know, all really African stories. I'm not sure Americans are going to relate to this in my losing an audience that I gained with the first special by this talking about India too much talking about Hinduism too much cetera, and the strange thing and unexpected thing was it had more of an American response than the first one. Which is I think just people into a story like this is a guy, and this is what he's going through. And the factory happens to be from somewhere else has stopped mattering as much as used to just because of the net. Flicks is Amazon's and it's Atra cetera. I I think a lot of that has been self-employed. Posed. And I don't mean by the comedian or the storyteller, but by sort of powers that be like, we get it a lot where you go watch. This doc, oh, I'm not a car guy story. It's a story. I'll watch us doc about anybody doing anything if the stories there, I think we've proven over the years it will watch. Predominantly African American cast a comic book movie if like this story and and vice versa. I think we're little too far and our heads in that I feel like stories are stories stories are universal. Good stories are good stories. Bad stories bad stories. I'd much rather. Hear good story from guy. I wasn't familiar with than a bad story from my neighbor. Yeah. And I feel like most people are that way. I also think America in general is the most self aware and internationally aware that you've ever been they used to be like in the old comedy steak, which pretty much all of us were guilty of which is oh, let me introduce you to this country. You don't know anything about aids just not valid anymore. It really isn't. I feel like just politically kinda intellectually. And religiously you guys up kind of a way know at the most you've been in innovative longtime who well, maybe collectively maybe that is a byproduct of Trump because I've always kind of said. I'm we're getting into this a couple of weeks ago, but I'm aware of black people, and I probably burn a few extra calories holding the door or being courteous. If I'm on the road and some guy cuts me off, and it's a black guy. Go. Hey, fuck you, man. That's okay. My bad, whatever we have a history, we have a bad history. And I feel like let's let's see if we can not perpetuate this or I'll do my little I feel guilty. It's white guilt or whatever. So I've always kind of thought that's I feel it within me. I wonder what Trump at the helm. If it's a nationwide sort of guilt. Like, we feel like we have to do a little less ugly in American and a little more are bad. We love your culture. He doesn't speak for us. You know, I wonder if there's that psycho dynamic going on. I don't know. I mean, he stood in conversation. That's for sure I'm gone station that maybe is long overdue. I I live in eastern Europe for the last. Four months shooting show and all the stand up comics in Prague where shooting Americans whether we just American experts who call themselves Trump refugees who've just taken like a your off in saying, I'm gonna take whatever job I can in Prague, oh in France, or whatever and teach English do stand up over here you start by telling them the refugees, really strong. And maybe maybe don't use that. Well, it was bit of a holocaust. Maybe refugees a little bit. Different. I got onto Schindler's List. Phrase that actually guys trying to put us back and chains. To your luck somewhere between gulag and a slave camp is what it's going on back in valley village around. Hot area. But we're Jono voi- holocaust Jimmy down your word. We're going on generating rapid as much as they're trying to be apologetic about Trump. The rest of the world doesn't really give a shit so much. I'll be honest with you, keep sending us episodes gamons loans with mine know, we have our own Trump's in east to deal with you know, what I mean east. Wanted about you know, I always found that they will very apologetic. Like man, he's ruining the world. And I'm kinda like, but you're not the world. And it's okay. And he doesn't really affect most of our lives on a daily news. Say it is our narcissism that makes us compelled to apologize in that way. Well, we we have that. We're like, look I I live in the Palisades. And I gotta stop global warming by driving electric, and it's like, yeah. China India, those are big places they're doing a lot of polluting. You're not really gonna fix take a look at our mass our population, and what we're putting up in terms of CO two, and then take a look at the population, India, China like that and what they're putting up. It's pretty narcissistic to go like work controlling all of this from this miniature dot over here with much less populous. I mean, I grew up it's not just at sometimes cultural level is like I grew up in Africa, seventy and Africa. So to me when I he'll Obama is the first black President Obama's the five hundred sixty black president their world in my world. And that's something that we like, you don't have all the black people. You don't have all the black. Culture. You have the minimum amount of both of those things in the world. But America, you've declared yourself Representative of black fashion culture, cetera et cetera. And you literally are the least popularize Representative of that thing. So that's kind of there as well. It's interesting, and again, it's sort of narcissistic, I've always I've always thought at a lot of these movements were sort of narcissistic, but most of the people who've ever been offended by things I've said have been offended on behalf of the people who aren't offended, which is another weird narcissistic thing like middle white chicken. I need to get in between my mouth and that guy's ears. And explain why what I'm saying is problematic, and it's like really feels very narcissistic for you to insert just serving yourself into this conversation. I talk about that. In my stuff. I'm like. I'm like Americans you have such high quality lives. You can get offended on other people's behalf. Right. Yes. First world problem of luxury. I keep seeing every time that I love how you guys moved film stuff. And it'll go vital like I'm gonna put you on Facebook. This stuff is going to go viral and talk about how every time in American film some wrongdoing in the back of that hate crime. You can see an Indian just walking to work like Ireland. I don't have my green card yet. This is not my problem. I'm getting the work. I have to make rent. And if they're on the other side of St. have a wide enough land, they'll see like to pot dispensaries soft world yogurt place. Like, how bad is it? Really? Yeah. All right. We will do. Let's see. We'll do the news. Congratulations on selling out the Kennedy Center. Have you played there before I have not no the last time. I was in DC was club Mona club. So I played their urine a half ago or something. But I'll tell you. It was nice. I don't know if you're staying at the Watergate, but they usually put you up at the Watergate hotel, which is huge in India. Had a little. Kerfuffle about Watergate the early seventies here with tricky, dick Nixon, but you get up there, you stay the Watergate is really cool and you walk to the venue, which is nice because it's all on the same grounds. And then the Kennedy center's just great got bones. I feel like so many people have been here. So many times, it's it's just a great historic moment. So congratulations. Thank you. It's been to venues wanted to play this time, and I got to play them and got to play the Wilbur. Yeah. Which is just the wilburns. Sorry, Boston more size a comedy fan. That was kind of nice better. You know? And then this one I'm excited full, so yeah. Yeah. It's great. Everything's low. Because all these things were built in the twentieth. Not low for you. But low for American today standards like talking a lot of doctors that's low for me like American, no any other. Nationalities. All right. Let me hit simply safe. We'll take a break. We'll do the news. No one should feel unsafe at their. Home period. And that's why they're simply safe simply safe to is in their SimpliSafe dot com slash Adam free shipping at SimpliSafe dot com. Are right? Let's break. We'll go right into the news. Geico presents yet another voicemail from your roommate? About the kitchen turns out when there's a grace fire. You're not supposed to throw water on it wouldn't own right anyways. The fire department is here. And it's totally cool. Give me a call back when you get a chance. Co insurance agency could help keep your personal property protected. Like if danger is your roommates middle name. Visit Geico dot com to see how easy it is to switch on save on renter's insurance, China, trade and farmers. I'm Tim Maguire AP news minute. The escalating trade war between the US and China causing real concerns on American farms, Ohio farmer. Brett Davis says he and others are losing tens of thousands of dollars because of the tariffs one out of every three rows of soybeans that we raise here in America ends up halfway around the world in China. President Trump tells reporters before he left for Louisiana. He's confident in reaching a deal with China. You wanna know something you want to know something we always win. His administration is prepping another twenty five percent tariff on another three hundred billion dollars in Chinese goods, including many household items and clothing sources say the Senate intelligence committee as an agreement for a private interview with Donald Trump junior ending the Fido. Over previous subpoena. The president's oldest son. He's expected to meet with the committee for up to four hours in the middle of next month. I'm Tim Maguire.

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