2 Burst results for "arleen Lancer"
"arleen lancer" Discussed on Dr. Judy WTF
"Be back in the studio live and not a rerun And end up on my couch heartbroken reactivated This is a call in show everybody's so please feel free to call in three two three offices a Home Office an office on Ventura healing then please contact us and we will definitely assign Lo fi so please contact us regarding him and APP is something that I created as a way to unravel often this encoding which is non verbal verbal messages being told up spy this psycho virus generates in our brain and just keeps the so on and human disconnect which is something physical abuse sexual abuse emotional abuse down and regroup on A new shift out the mind map is designed to address the past which is the I'm part of the Mind Map represents the paradigm shift into with the narcissist and dating and how to recognize if you're dating a narcissist self-centered and demeaning and devaluing and using your energy be our specialty we have a lot of people on the team who work with narcissistic arm every two weeks and you can contact the clinic regarding that and make sure that you're not caught in a bad web of up and then exit and take let's use the word rip a lot of people out there who have suffered by entering into relationships with and nod highway to connect with another human being to form five Fritz flags and blind spots in dating a narcissist and this if divorced couples or divorcing couples and she has experiences it in fact one study showed that there likable veneer was only person and put putting them up on a pedestal I've had a number of clients who claim later insight these clients admitted that there were signs that they'd overlooked so might be very good looking and they may have an awful lot to offer socially something good we will make mental excuses for them the waiter very well or they they they fire their housekeeper. Unusually the human desires very strong to have something scenarios off start unraveling so arleen Lancer says sometimes doesn't reveal itself for it takes a while for them to catch on but there are always look when the chemistry is really strong the greater the physical attraction and sexual sexual energy literally op few skates mentally and emotional energy into Block are rational thinking and the body called oxytocin which is the bonding hormone and then Opon- hormones are released and particularly with women younger bond chemically with a man it it also happens with Manson John Easier with women so definitely we don't WanNa have look a lot the second is seduction which is similar to early they may be adept listeners and communicators or a lure you with flattery spit in this case all of this is a an example of an act or awesome seeing why people might be vulnerable so as I say in my bowl via pdf form you can also order it on Amazon and and you can go through this process via the the video series controlling if parents use their children as objects very very familiar and familial because they have overlooked the signs because they the ship the reason I'm GonNa talk about casual sex sex without find that they're treated casually and easily disposable manner so if we are raised by parents who objectify which is defined by a parent or parents put Lee bond and form the healthy human psyche and I'm referring now daily breastfeeding stay at home mom I'm and do her breastfeeding and mirroring her baby this does not happen than the the plan B. would be he does for you and if they don't do for you then they're something that I elaborate on in the mind map video series and the phenomenon just pass on the one you have and invest in the better ups and the the third aspect of a blind spot when dating narcissist full multi-talented as I mentioned and it's easy to idealize that on once and wow when I married to this man or woman while I'm going to have all A. B. Enhanced by it so you could see that it's more about what they can successful I think there's a a sense of of obviously intimacy with the person that we're with when we're looking at them ask people who have low self esteem and are codependent have more oh ensign please pick up the phone get on the couch and dial in at move on with the mind map and see what happens to people who are raised not who can you be for me how can you serve me how can a way of being in the world so therefore they will I'm never enough or let me see what I at the expense of themselves so in a sense the groom already they may test them for a how compliant they are how quick they're art and perhaps even throw in a few lives here and there about their income or what you could see how these people are could be prone and hello you are on the couch Hi Michelle have we spoken before now we haven't you and what is attracting you to this particular show and and I I in my late forties and I tend to nick and I begin to romantic relationships track let's track your family of origin and when you say that you using the putting themselves before their own children all very attractive people my dad was my dad was a professional and my mother and my stepmother's were all you know very very attractive east by okay so the two that was your mother and then your stepmother our own right my mom my mom left me she actually online that they know she was can't get any more focused and discarding the only child and then my dad was was pretty much I'd say he was a womanizer my intelligence I'm just would attack me on pretty much hey shis they cheat they lie you know there's always another woman in the picture or over time as the article that I was referring to points out does take about looking guy so I mean I know that there they can attract other women but initially at progressive that's when I start to see the red flags dates and dates probably pretty sad to and of course I'm in my late forties so it's going to be hard to break now but I find that I'm not I would go for a few years and not date or being a relationship because I don't find anything coming okay so Le Let's make a distinction between a male that they're evolved people and it doesn't mean that they're psychologically on is the man who has character a male piece which is their character okay system because everything was falling apart people were cheating love was built on okay so what if you met a man who she to bond with a wonderful goodhearted uh-huh synergy synergy synergy is the one plus how what do you think would you think would you like a man like that believed in monogamy and believed in family and believed in keeping the energy it you know if honest the Judy I to nominate I call it the W. t. f. the what the Freud he is offered up correct before commitment yes sure for this man before this man has her heart and mind I that's a good question here father correct who was a cheater Ya and her before the commitment was there perhaps they have familiar box probably dynamic so if your Orgasm Inc to that dynamic if your orgasm Shen you might even fantasize him with other women and that might be stimulating and it becomes the toxic bond you see that makes a lot of okay first few years of life and we have to take inventory on all of comes conclusions about yourself you might conclude that you're not important enough can you begin to see that we have within us these horrible core beliefs makes reprint which is our parents we come out having old game once again in the what the foot manner so what do we do we I keep saying this again and again in my book and on other shows too it's not that we're stupid acceptance except that if we're trying to find it with the because we have met our our imago match so to speak the happens correct okay and so the said a mouthful here but go ahead and ask questions there's unfinished business there the unfinished businesses your little you and so you're GONNA get plan B Daddy okay time around this person who is the popular good looking right and and what's the likelihood of that happening ship I will call it not a relationship there probably in relation do we get out of this horrendous W T.F we've got to go back to the 'cause mind map is is designed to do is to take us back so that we could doc mind body and soul and then then act closing our legs and not allowing men or women I'm we're not sardines were not built to be throwaways we can't just part is the bond that is now created to them okay maybe her woman on the side and maybe another third or fourth one and then that way part of that Orchestra Martha Zyu- to be part of aside over this I've had people in my office who couldn't stand they didn't know that they're they're boyfriend was actually married or they didn't know that person very well because why I too quickly idealize the person got sexually involved bond a hostage situation because it's very very hard to get out of a situation where your body and your sexuality but they're not there they can leave in a heartbeat withdraw going through something like this okay and it's so it's so it it it really it really should be a crime doctor Judy I think that sex can be fun S- casual it's just not a sport he no I know your father was a an athlete but where we want to merge our mind body and soul with somebody we're letting were we feel that we can feel safe and let go and beloved and it's okay sat textile my girlfriend's phone or my boyfriend's phone what that I mean this is these are the things that come up in the therapeutic repaired the trust and to grow through it and and and they can I'm not saying much paranoia gets built up around it so yes I think it console and deliberately lied to them and manipulate them and betray nothing worse there's a hide rather have my wallet stolen it's too painful so what do we do about point where we lose our taste buds for these people that's the when other people think that they're they're amazing I think they're you're absolutely right right and it takes two to tango so the here's The codependent So why does that happen just like what I said a and made you I'm sure feel like you are disposable so a contact me at the psychological healing center please do okay and for everyone and we try to stay fee sensitive understand that by your participating in this system gone say to no no to them your self esteem I promise us going to start going okay so start defining what a man is in your head a man is not a cheater man is vigil who who has a lot of issues with me and the audience good night bye-bye any kind of a judgmental place it's it's it's my experiences a psychologist to get close to be tossed aside were not made to open up them if you want to know if your enough for somebody or if they're not for you what about getting to know coach and who am I speaking to high blake how you no I called in a couple of times okay nice to talk to you so what what working for me I I deal with a lot in narcissist and just you don't take advantage and and then I really had a lot of problems with a few of like you know I know of and you know get really you know okay so if you don't go his way then he's GonNa antagonize and scratch some stuff so it took me eight hours to fix it so when he came over as you can't you don't mind Blake 'cause the topic is dating and casual sex and narcissism in who will use an abuse and toss aside and casualising okay you know they're all nice and everything and then next so if you're he if you're if you're getting date somebody exclusively but I think fair exchange of YOU WANNA concentrate on one individual it would be nice to know that you're on teas that result from casual sex Good looking people might they use they use their looks to get a on somebody they pick the right they groom Missa here I can I can use this person and powerless to to do anything because the other 'cause they're so under orgasms perhaps with the person so it's really difficult at that stage to does and so on when we are mixing our our bodies so there are health reasons and then also there are psychological reasons has a man because I know we usually think of women is.
"arleen lancer" Discussed on Crimes of Passion
"Beliefs. Finally in a stable environment and surrounded by a supportive community. Travis thrived coming out of his shell for the first time. He joined the high school wrestling team, shedding some of his baby fat and developing a lifelong passion for working out throughout high school. He also saved money to fund a mission trip. I hurt. It's common. Practice in the Mormon faith for young men and women to spend two years on a mission in various places around the world. Depending on the location. They spend that time proselytizing supporting church services or engaging in humanitarian aid and community service when Travis graduated high school in nineteen ninety five he was assigned to Denver Colorado to serve as mission he returned to riverside in nineteen ninety eight with honor and moved into a house with other single LDS men. He was ready to tackle his next big assignment. Finding a wife. Travis felt like he had a lot to offer the woman he dated he was attractive responsible, trustworthy, and despite what he'd faced in his childhood had an endlessly positive outlook on life. He was a developed LDS member who treated his girlfriend's with respect. But none of the women. He dated were ready for marriage yet and his search for the perfect woman continued for a few years then in two thousand Travis met Deanna Reid. She was also a member of the church. They needed briefly. Then Deanna went on her own mission to Costa Rica when she returned in two thousand two they rekindled their romance. It seemed like Deanna was the woman Travis had been searching for in two thousand four the Twenty-seven-year-old move from riverside to Mesa Arizona to be closer to her as a relationship progressed. The couple began having premarital sex in opposition to their Mormon faith. According to the church's official website sexual sins are extremely serious because it is an abuse of the power. He has given us to create life, the church instructed, no one, male or female is to have sexual relations before marriage premarital. Sex has been described by the church as the third most serious sin after murder and adultery. The gravity of defying the churches. Law of chastity, wait on the relationship and Travis Indiana, eventually broke up there are conflicting stories behind their separation after years of looking for his future wife, Wendy, Anna and Travis talked about getting married. He was now the one who wasn't ready, according to the Anna, she didn't see his feelings about marriage changing anytime soon and therefore ended the relationship travis's change of heart could've stemmed from residual trauma from his childhood, according to license marriage and family counselor. Arleen Lancer many children of addicts practice, extreme self reliance protecting themselves from depending on anyone else to fulfil their needs. This is a common. Coping mechanism for children raised by dolts who were unable to take care of them. Travis may have feared marriage to Diana because it made him feel incredibly vulnerable. However, some of his friends suggested an alternative explanation. Marrying Deanna was settling Travis wanted to so more wild oats before committing to one woman for the rest of his life. They recall the Travis wanted to be with someone who could be considered arm candy when Travis met beautiful blonde Jodi area since September of two thousand six he found someone more than suitable to fit that Bill. Jodi areas was born on July, ninth nineteen eighty and Salinas, California, the oldest child of Bill and Sandra areas not much is known about Jodie's childhood. But in an interview with CNN her former babysitter Beth Hawkins described her as an exceptionally aggressive child. She recounted a time that Jodi struck her younger brother in the head with the baseball bat, according to Hawkins, she couldn't leave Jody alone with her brother without some kind of violent incident occurring when she was a teenager. Jody allegedly became abusive toward her mother, Sandra one time even punching her in the face, but Jodi attested that Bill and Sandra where the abusive ones spanking her with a wooden spoon and occasionally a belt. She described her upbringing as strict and oppressive. However, she did find an outlet and photography. She developed the hobby around. Age ten and it continued throughout adulthood, Jody grew up to be a rebellious teenager constantly at war with her parents and even experimenting with marijuana. According to Bill areas, Jodi had mood swings. He said, quote, she'll call and be real sweet and ten minutes later, she'll call back in a rage. You know, just screaming at my wife, and quote based on bills description of these extreme highs and lows it's unsurprising that Jodi was later diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder or BPD elements health behavioral defined BPD best when they said people with BPD are on a roller coaster of unpredictable mood shifts and gulping feelings of insecurity and self destructive behaviors and all too often. They take loved ones along for the ride Jody's mood swings with throw everyone around her for a loop. When she was. Seventeen. Jody ran away from home to live with her twenty year old on again off again boyfriend, Bobby WADA's, Bill area said that Jodi ran away after he grounded her for repeatedly ditching school while living with what is an Oregon during one of their off again phases. Jodi started a relationship with his roommate Matt McCartney at the time McCartney was undergoing a spiritual development, he studied Buddhism, Hinduism and eastern mysticism. Jody joined him in these curiosities. She said, quote, we sort of explored together taking meditation seminars new age type seminars, which sort of had roots in Hinduism or Buddhism. And we're kind of like a modern version of transcendental ISM and quote, Jodi, search for spiritual identity would continue throughout her adult life. According to the National Institute of mental health people with borderline personality disorder may display uncertain. Certainty about how they see themselves and their role in the world as a result their interests and values can change quickly. Eventually Jody McCartney broke up after she caught him cheating. She moved a Big Sur California in two thousand one while working as a waitress at the Vintana N and spa twenty two year old Jodi developed an interest in her manager forty two year old Darrell brewer Burr was recently, divorced and had a three year old son. But that didn't deter Jody when brewer changed jobs in two thousand two and was no longer her direct superior. They started formerly dating as a relationship progressed. Jody changed her appearance to match brewers ex wife a natural brunette. She started bleaching, your hair blond after Darryl's ex wife got breast implants. So did Jody. She even bought the same model car Jody's mimicking behavior can also be explained by the BPD, according to Dr crystalline Saulters at no people with BPD often go to great lengths to try. To avoid abandonment. It is quite possible that Jodi felt if she did not change her appearance to match Darryl's ex wives that he would leave her her insecurity may have also been exacerbated by the fact that her previous boyfriend Matt McCartney had cheated on her apparently Jody's new appearance. Didn't raise any concerns Breuer as the couple purchased a home together in palm desert in two thousand five but shearing home with brewer wasn't enough for Jody. She wanted to get married and have kids brewer explained to her that he'd already done those things and wasn't interested and doing them again this revelation soured the relationship Bermeo plans to move back to northern California in the summer of two thousand six Jody didn't want to give up the palm desert house, but she also couldn't afford it on her current salary. Her manager at California pizza kitchen told her about prepaid legal services or peep. Pl as a way to make extra cash now known as legal shield p P L SEL legal service products through multilevel marketing to learn more about the company Jodie attended a weekend conference at the MGM grand casino in Las Vegas and September two thousand six and so did Travis Alexander. Travis felt exhilerated as he walked the casino floor with the other L executive directors. He was sure that this was exactly where God intended him to be. He thought back on where he'd come from the fear, the howling pain in his belly the roaches and rats, he pretended or pets. And now he was an executive director earning over one hundred thousand dollars a year. It was all things to his faith and hard work when they reached the restaurant for the reception. One of the directors David greeted a beautiful blonde woman at the door. Travis was struck from far by her radiant smile. He believed that she was exactly what he deserved. He had to meet her again, God showed him the way David motioned for Travis to come over and meet his exquisite friend. Travis didn't wait for an introduction. Instead. Offering his hand directly to the woman. Hi, I'm Travis her hand was soft. She was blushing. She told them. I'm Jodi nice to meet you. Travis and Jodi were inseparable for the next forty eight hours he invited her to join him that evening at a p p l banquet exclusive top earners in the company. It was an honor just to be invited. And she showed up that night an elegant evening gown that filled travis's arm candy fantasy completely when Jodi realized that Travis might be interested in her romantically. She told him that she was living with Darryl. Brewer he appreciated her honesty, but still wanted to keep in touch. They exchanged numbers and said, they're good byes at the end of the conference on Sunday Travis returned to Mesa Arizona and Jodi to palm desert, California. On Monday night. Travis call Jodi and again on Tuesday night and Also Wednesday. They talked about how important marriage and family was to feeling truly fulfilled Travis adjusted that Jodi shouldn't be with a man who didn't want those things if they were important to her happiness when Travis called on Thursday night Jodi told him the relationship with brewer was over. He was happy for her. They meet plans to meet up that weekend.