17 Burst results for "Zubin Damani"

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

03:27 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"Yes. Fell bad. But I got twelve cats at home home home. The little old lady who won't go to sniff. That was dumb and the more. We try to make it work the less. Happy were another. We may come back to it. But yeah. So sometimes we fail. But ain't the way to diet just kind of started. That's that's and the more. We realized we got the sense of you know, that sense of moral elevations. You get in your chest where you feel something hit. And it raises you in this way where you feel it expand. It sounds very woo. But it's a real human sensation. John height and others have talked about the sense of moral elevations. I've done something here. I've tapped into some ethos that will help people and recording song like that is done in one day. It depends. So that one we did over a couple of days. I went to Devon's studio, actually, and we just kept banging out. And he would coach me sit there in the engineer space and be like, you know, that's I'm not feeling anything with that tribe. Maybe this way. And then we'll do like thirty takes only. And then he'll be like, that's it. I got goosebumps. That's that's it. Right. How how does one do that? Like if you said to me, can you repeat something six times. Like, I wouldn't. I this is the thing. That's always amazed me about acting. I don't think I've appreciated as much about singing. But you know, if you've ever been on a set to actually watch a movie being made, and there's like alien. Actors there, whichever the privilege of doing once or twice. I'm amazed that first of all an entire day of shooting produces sixty to ninety seconds worth of a movie. That's how many times things are being done over and over and over again. And it's to watch the actors and actresses show up with the same level of emotion, the same emphasis correcting may be whatever the director says to correct, I'm like, well that another great reason why I could never have done that for a living, and these are professionals that are really good at that. Now, see I'm an untrained amateur. I let call myself a pro-am as you You know. know, it's one of those things get paid a little bit here. And there ads and stuff. But really, I'm just you know, it's for the love the game with the truth is it's a craft for me the finished product matters. So deeply to me that I cannot put out a stinky piece of shit. I've done it and regretted it and something that put us. I think is good in retrospect, I think it's crap. Sometimes it's crap. And it turns out in great. But anyway, I was one of the things I can't fuck this up. So you do in twenty thirty takes and you'll see they're all sitting there in logic. That's the program we use you just take and what we'll do then is will comp sometimes we'll say, let's take the best of this. First verse best of that. And some people think that's cheating. That's how most people do it. Now, I didn't realize that would be thought of as cheating. So some of the purest in the old school musicians say, well, no, you just gotta go on and sing it live. And that's how you do it. But that's not how anybody doesn't now because you are trying to produce the best piece of art, you can and what's fascinating actually Peter's again, I'm not a trained musician. I don't sing wrap something that I had to figure out ice to be really bad in. Devon would tell me you really suck. Like it takes. Thirty takes just to get it to sound good. Have you thought about taking voice lessons? And I'm like don't insult me. What's a what you can't train voice? That's bullshit. You have to stupid. And then I went and got voice lessons just few lessons, and these CDs I kept doing and the thing man, the voice like anything a performance instruments muscle and the vocal cords get stronger. You control gets better your breath control gets better the way you breathe for for singing his so different than the way. You would normally talk or anything and that helps when you do speaking because you don't get horse you warm up. Right. You project better. I'm a tiny little person who can project his damn voice to also as a you you come from the lineage of the greatest singer of all time..

Devon John director engineer Peter ninety seconds one day
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

03:37 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"Your life for three or four more years. I have zero incentive to spend one penny because the macro vascular and micro vascular diseases that are going to destroy your life in twenty years. I'm going to be so long gone. I won't even know you won't even remember your name. And actually, this is a central piece of this which is in this country. We medical is our social problems so diabetes to a large extent, you know, in these very highlights is a social problem. It's poverty is lack of job security inability excited because of danger in the community these things adverse childhood experiences. So as a result, if you start shunting money from healthcare into those social services like every other industrialised country does you can actually square. Lease down the overall cost. So that may ameliorate some as has to be, but that that would have to be done centralized. There is no way any entity. But the government I do that is their re. Yeah, I agree with you. I think that's the role for government and people disagree Harker. Libertarians will disagree. I don't care. They can. Well, here's the funny thing, I consider myself, again, libertarian is such a broad term that it doesn't mean much because like you have such extremes on that. But I actually found Michael Lewis's book the fifth risk to be quite interesting. I'll check it out. I knew about half of it quite well actually knew a lot about what the DOE does. And what the USDA does. But it didn't have much of a sense of what the department of commerce does and his book is a very depressing book. So I don't wanna get into the politics of the book. But absent all of the politics, if nothing else, whatever your political views are is simply an exercise in civics to understand what your government does. Because we have a lot of examples of what they do poorly. I mean, and I'm as guilty of that as anybody I rattle off a hundred things that they are much. Mindlessly incompetent at I think Lewis does a great job explaining things that they are competent at and in fact, so competent at that. We don't realize how many close calls we have. Right. And he does that through going through. What does energy does commerce? Does. It's a very quick read. I think I read it in a day and a half. I is a hard time. Putting it down. It was so good day. And have a busy work. Right. Yeah. But this is why the center probably holds the truth for in most cases. That's where I am too. I think government has a role. Listen, people say get government out of health care. We can't have health. They're already fifty percent of Helga, Medicare, Medicaid and all this chip. They are. Yeah. Yeah. Fifty so think of VA think about that. So now, you're like, okay. Well, how can we optimize them? And don't let them break stuff that they have no business, but to have them do what they really well. And I think some of that social support we do. Well, we don't have the political on this country. I think to come together on that. But if we did we'd stop putting the moral distress on us as caregivers because we feel terrible. We can't it's a hamster wheel. You know, when I go round at the county. I did this week every single patient. Air doesn't need to be there. All preventable. It's all social determinants substance-abuse. It's adverse childhood experiences. People who were abused sexually. And otherwise in that manifestos adult crunches, we know this. So this is the thing. I wanna say one thing, I think my followers in yours will want to know how you're not scalable as a doctor. You do amazing things how are people gonna find doctors like you that think so differently in our treating people in a in a way that is trying to maximize these outcomes that you talk about I think there were already sort of organizations that organized around this through functional medicine and things like that. I'm not being facetious. I probably get two hundred and fifty emails day. Now, obviously, a number of those are directly work related, you know, patients colleagues whatever, but a very high number of those which unfortunately, just can't respond to for the most part are, you know, through the blog or through the podcast or something saying, hey, you know, Peter I live in Saint Louis, and I've been listening to your podcast or reading this..

Michael Lewis Harker vascular diseases DOE Peter I USDA Saint Louis Helga VA Medicare Medicaid fifty percent twenty years
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

01:43 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"I I would say professionally I am really really obsessed with the question of what is the appropriate dose of caloric restriction and the frequency and of the molecules that mimic that so when you start to think about metformin rapamycin, especially and complete caloric restriction. So I've really lost interest in much of the junior stuff that gets close to there. So I sort of you that as filler when you're not fasting. Okay. Let me interrupt for second for my medical audience. A lot of them are gonna have no fucking clue. What you just said. So rapamycin metformin caloric restriction operating on the principle that a lot of studies in animals mammals show that some form of. Caloric restriction increases longevity through a series of mechanisms and there are molecules and receptors that might mimic or be at least partially responsible for the action of this caloric restriction in terms of promoting longevity. Rapamycin his one metformin might be another this. Sorry. I just wanted to make sure I understood I am dumb about this stuff. No. Thank you for clarifying that so molecules like metformin, which have Annetta -ffective activating, an enzyme called AMP, which is a nutrient sensing enzyme, it mimics something that you see when you're being deprived of calories. Conversely, rapamycin inhibits something called the mechanistic target of rapamycin. They very creative on the naming 'em tool m toward a great superhero. Sounds like a man Bagai skeletal should have been an excellent it should have been so rapamycin inhibits that tour, which is the central nutrient sensor for me, no acids. So again, when you inhibitory you were mimicking deprivation of amino acids, and then of course. There's just the old fashioned way to do it..

metformin rapamycin
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

03:23 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"And so I remember when I left medicine the first place, I went to was to work at this consulting firm McKinsey and company, which I love another exceptional fund chapter my life. But I remember like naively asking at one point. I'm like, why don't these companies do Eminem? And everyone's like, what do you mean? They eat Eminem's all the time. And I'm like, oh, no sorry. I mean morbidity mortality why is it that? There isn't a post hoc analysis of everything that goes wrong in a totally unemotional way that just and the reason Eminem works is. It's completely closed. There is no. Legal recourse. So there's no hiding nobody who's not a part of surgeries allowed in that room. Yeah. And that sort of what enables it to be that way. Which I look if you're the if you're running a publicly traded company, you don't have that luxury in either same experience with 'em. It was this horrible painfully going up thing on this patient died because of a mistake that was made here, and then having to go through that and everybody looking at you and being like what you did this. Did you think about this? I did. But I decided this do you feel like that was a correct decision will obviously not but coming out just like, okay. First of all, I'm glad that that that I was able to talk about this. Because you don't think I've been beating myself up about this like I'm just a second year. Resident like this is devastating to me. Like, I went into this to help people. My biggest fear is hurting people in hurt someone and you come out so much stronger for it even though you've been put through this ringer. And we right. We don't do that another. It's a blame culture. Like, you get fired if you screw up in a lot of businesses in the hospital. Nurses, often make mistakes and the truth. Is oughta be a no blame culture. What was going on in that picks us dispensing system that allowed that medicine to be dispense? Even though you eroneous typed it in wrong, and it was a paralyzing agent instead of a sedative and the person died under torture in the scanner. And you didn't check on them because there was no protocol saying they had to be monitored. Will we need to fix that? Was there malicious intent was a reckless nece. Was there substance abuse on the part of the of the nurse of the doctor? No or will. Now, we need to talk about how can we prevent this from happening? And what is accountability? What does it mean? In the setting of maybe free will not being entirely a real thing. But at the same time having us having to behave like it is or else people won't it won't condition. People to do the right thing. I love how we turned free will into Eminem. I never get the talk about Eminem. This is why this is why you need to do a show that no one will listen to is just you and me about stuff we care about, you know, having been through it all what do you care about Peter? What you interested in these days? What's driving you these days, and how can my experience because what I've done is is so different as well. And I can't categorize. People ask me, I want them just to stop talking because I'm like, I don't want to tell you this. You have a partner story. I don't know that it's harder. It's just it's just it's more complicated narrow I say a professional clown because that's what my dad says. So you'll become a professional clown. At least you're putting some non on the table. Otherwise is just wasting. All the medical school. And now what you're doing? It just you know, jacking off on this gamut. He doesn't even know what that means. He just hears me say it needs like audio jacking. I'm like don't say that in mixed company. It's not something, you know. So so, you know, you're spending your time. But you're you're between San Diego New Yorker. All this cool stuff you're talking with like, really smart people on your podcast. What's driving you right now personally professionally because there's a bit of a divide. I wanna go personally. Actual okay. Let's go professional..

Eminem McKinsey Peter San Diego partner
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

03:37 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"Yes. Absolutely. And this is what people who say, you know, you don't think there will then the whole criminal decimal. Exactly, there's sort of confusing and confounding issue. They are because you murder someone you made a. Choice to do it. You made a choice wasn't free. Will. That's my argument. You're honored. Sure. You're going to jail forever. Why? Because we need to make sure that others who also don't have free will have their sub mines condition that if you commit murder, you go to jail forever or you die depending on what state you're in. And whatever your beliefs are on the death penalty. And so as a result that deterrent reconditioned, the unconscious then allows different decisions to me. So my feeling on on free will is that is actually much more nuanced. These sub mine's actually have their own free will and they feed it up, and it's conditioned by our downward input. So what comes out is a consensus decision. And so in a way, yes, we are kind of in charge who decide decide to be around. If I hang out with Peter. I'm going to be better for it. If I hang out with, you know, Charles Manson, I'm probably gonna come with some shitty. Stupid ideas. If I fall into a Facebook whole, we're all I'm looking at is all left or all right or center, I'm gonna miss I'm going to be conditioned in a way that may be more productive. So those things matter there are consequences. We should hold them. When I do the show about blaming. I say it's your fault that your kid is obese. My secret reason for doing that. It's not that. I actually think they're to blame. It's that somebody will watch that and go, I never wait. What I've been giving Dr Pepper in the thing. Like, it's my what do you mean? And they and they just something clicks. And they go, wait. So that I'm not supposed to do that. Okay. I'm I'm gonna do something different. So it's a way of influencing. Now, it may not work. So blame may not work. There's some data that it doesn't and looking at hospital errors just culture is one of these like blamed free kind of scenario her some data that people will hide and they won't come out. And admit airs, if they fear retribution whereas in a environment where we're trying to make the system better it could change. So again, it's a gaming this bigger system. Totally unrelated in medicine. Did you guys do Eminem all the time? Okay. I was the presenting party in Eminem at least once and that's morbidity and mortality. So it's really funny. I remember the first this is totally off topic. But just what you said about the coming out one of the things I miss the most about being in an academic medical center is Eminem. So the morbidity mortality conference. And so as well just explain I assume it's the same surgery as it is in medicine what we would do is every Tuesday morning at six AM. There is no exception to this rule. Like there was nothing that would get in the way of this conference. All the surgeons the residents, fellows the attending. Everybody would meet in a room and all of the complications. So the morbidity is permitted mortality the morbidity. And then they all the deaths. The mortalities would be presented, and it was a very unemotional conference. So I would stand up there. And I would say Mr Smith was a forty seven year old man who came to the emergency room on such and such day presenting of left, lower quadrant. Pain we suspected diverticulitis global took him to the OR did this and then owned by the way, he had a pulmonary embolism and died six days later. Okay. And so you just unemotionally present the facts, and then comes the process. Okay. Let's start with the basics was subcu-. Heparin was. Yep. Walking. Did. He. Have a, hyper state. Did you do this? Did you do this? Did you do this? And I've never been afraid of speaking in public with maybe one exception that was a very difficult conference to present at. But by the time, you were presenting I e by the time, you were senior enough to be the one to stand up there and present you had seen the beauty of it in the benefit of it. Which is at hurts. There's no denying it. I mean, it's it's a rectal exam without any lubrication. But there's benefit you see this..

morbidity Mr Smith murder Facebook Dr Pepper Charles Manson Peter Heparin pulmonary embolism diverticulitis OR forty seven year six days
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

02:34 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"That's where it's obligate on us to be patient. But I think that's what happened with your patient. Well, what's interesting is I'm not particularly quipped to delve into that. So so I remember this discussion because my next step was and it's been. So long ago. God, I don't even I don't even remember this. But I think I mean, I don't remember all the details. But I I remember saying to them look there is this one paper that got made this an issue. But you know, it was retracted right? Like, you know, that it wasn't retracted because the calculations were wrong it was retracted because it was fraud right fry, and do you realize that all of this sort of propaganda? You're buying into emanated from something fraudulent. Which would I think bit more of an intellectual approach? I don't think I had the resourcefulness or the inside at the time to take an emotional approach emotionally be the wrong word, but less avai. Let me just beat you down with more facts. And explain to you why this is right. So my guess is he was pissed not only in the fact that I was obviously a not outside the box thinker, but maybe on some level. He was just pissed that, you know, I probably talked to him like an idiot. I was dismissive of him. Right. You really put your finger on something that we do in medicine a lot, and I'm guilty of it. And that is speaking. All to writer trying to give them data when we haven't motivated elephant or understood elephant unconscious motivation. And this guy what I've started doing is sitting down and going. So why why vaccines? Let's just take Wakefield. And his study out of the question. What is it about about them? That really bothers will. They're forced on me. I don't like sight of toxins in my body, or I don't trust the government. I don't trust big pharma. And I'm like, you know, what I don't either. I wouldn't let government run healthcare. I don't want fully socialized medicine. I think that's crazy. But I do think that the government does a lot of things that are good and things are much more complex. But let's talk about ways that maybe we can come to understand 'cause we both want what's right for the kid. It's very hard though, because we get our own emotional. I get so angry man, I've gotten triggered go on these expletive laced rant on my show. And you know, what here's a thing. Peter, you know, this is what was I it will get a shit ton of us when I lose my shit. And I'm like fuck these anti vaccine and everything and there everything about them, and it will go crazy because doctors will be. Like, that's what I've been wanting to say for ever because my elephant is conditioned certain way, which is care versus arm. I want these children to live and not die of preventable disease. When you see a case of measly, C, whooping cough and hospital. It will devastate you. And we're showing pictures of our kids like imagine one of our kids getting measles, and you didn't vaccinate them. How am I gonna feel about you as a person as a doctor?.

Wakefield fraud writer Peter
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

03:48 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"Just figure out a way to make them opt out of good behaviors rather than opt in to good behaviors nudges very similar to switch which is by the heath brothers based on the elfin writer motif from John height as well. And it's the same thing you create a path for the elfin rider walk. That is default. Good you motivate the elephant making them feel something like they wanna change they want to do this. And then you gently direct the writer the rationalist on how to make that change. And when I talked publicly to talk about this as a model of how we can do health report now to influence change in our patients. I remember what you were asking us to do is very hard. You have to be motivated to want to do it. We happen to be. But let me ask question like our fat people fat because they just don't have the willpower that it's their fault that their fat. Or is it that we just haven't cracked the hack for how to motivate people make the system by default better and find their optimal plan for them. I mean, it's such a complicated question. There's something called the done in Kruger effect. I don't know if you're familiar with ovo antibac- Sers love this because. Because they know a little. Can we come back to vacs -absolutely? Can we actually lost of patient over this once lost not died? Lost left lost left. Yeah. Patient of mine had some questions about not wanting to get his kids vaccinated and came to me, assuming that I would agree with him that he should not have his kids vaccinated. And I said, Nope. I you absolutely. Should get your kids vaccinated. And I said, look, here's the one deviation. I made from the protocol. We waited six months to do the first panel instead of doing them on the first day. But that was no rhyme or reason that was just my intuition said give the little bastards a break for six months. But yeah, I can't imagine any reason why you wouldn't want to vaccinate your children. And he went loco. He was like I expected more from you. I can't believe I mean, he was pissed that was like he left. I mean, he he stopped. He didn't wanna ever see me again. So as someone who dabbles in the antibac- space a little bit to the point where. People are banging on this door shouting obscenities at me during the live show with Paul off it I will say this. What you triggered was that person's elephant. So they're unconscious was triggered in a way where their entire conception of the world, their ideas of liberty versus Justice versa care versus harm, this moral palette that John hi talks about which between talk about more later. But this idea that vaccines are a violation of the sanctity of the body. So you're putting toxins in the body. And the idea that he probably went to thinking you were a little bit off the grid that you're looking at the unique person differ. You're not gonna swallow the dogma, right? But the truth is what he didn't realize. No, you swallow it works, and the things that have been shown to work are in fact vaccines and not a whole lot of other stuff until you really look at it. And you look at supplements you look at a lot of things like stuff that would give standard American doctors. Or also says the of the standard American diet and the Senate American doctor or sad the hives because you have taken yourself self experimented with tons of supplements. And you've drawn blood a million times you've done you other quantified purse. Because you care about finding out truth for patients and also for yourself. But this idea that you triggered that person in a way that they made a moral judgement about you that was so far off their moral, compass, they couldn't tolerate stomach the idea of seeing you until we recognize how people work will never be able to connect with anti Xers that way because we can't imagine why people think that way, and it's one thing to understand them. It's another thing to condone delusional and dangerous thinking in public. Forums like running into a theater and yelling fire. And that's what the hardcore professional antics doing our platform has zero quarter for that. Now. I just ban them ridicule them. Shame them drop FM's on them. I will never stop until these professional anti vaccines. Stop. However, the mother on the fence the person who's like been conditioned by this stuff on the internet..

John writer Kruger effect Senate Paul six months zero quarter
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

03:15 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"The simplest systems. In other words, one bit to bit twelve bit hundred Countess agents behave predictable because they have three actions perceived decide act, it might be that the one bit conscious agent can only have two perceptions to actions. And so it sums up scientifically, mathematically as absolute predictability to second. If you collapse that to one in one, you could have a reductionist world, if you had no choice if all of the sub particles had no choice, right? It would become a semantic game. Well, if none of the particles had a choice, meaning you were you always knew how they were going to behave. Right. Right. Right. Well, then you have it's the same as being materialist at saying, they have no consciousness, so that's the definition of this. They have choice, and here's something that's even more interested in which. I just can't so probabilistically that just strikes me as impossible. Yeah. Right. Because you couldn't have the order that we have in the universe. If there was any choice to be made at that level. I'm saying this is a guy who's bullshitting 'cause he's hearing about this for the first time. But that's my initial reaction is I don't understand how you could preserve any order in the universe. If there is any choice to be made in that regard. Yes. Oh, what's interesting is when you look at actual quantum mechanics? There is uncertainty at the quantum level. There is uncertain but there is a predictor of predict yet. But it exactly it's defined by probability function. Right. But it collapses to something that's known once. It's absurd. Correct. So what is observation but to conscious agents interacting in exchanging experience that then allows this particular conscious Asian to settle into a particular choice. So to me, it's not exclusive of that having choice at the smallest and again, this is the simplest of choices. Yeah. And one thing you said was interesting to me because I struggle with this which was. How can we all see things differently as a hack? How can there be reality? How can it be objective predictable? Scientifically valid reality will look at it this way. So he gives the example, which I think is very powerful of sinister. So people have Cynthia which is they experience the world very differently. They smell colors or they hear sites, and you see colors when you hear sounds, and he gives examples of guy who anytime he tastes mint in his handy. Feels a basket of Ivy, and it turns out that guy is a sinister so his interface is a mutation. Something has changed in the way. Do you know that without functional Emory's at the way that one he's actually done some of that on these guys as intially parts of the brain that light up with touch light up when he's actually talking about mint or so you've basically just you've disaligned for lack of a better word the relationship between the external and internal sensory. You know, the cortex is basically been removed. There's some remapping now I would argue that the cortex is an icon we use to actually stay calm. Consciousness interacting with self. But imagine that person now is a mutation of some kind that interfaces with the world differently because he can feel meant it turns out he's glorious chef. So he has a career as a professional chef because he's able to take flavors and to feel them. It's to him. It's wall adds interest. It's like a basket he's putting his hand basket vibe when he tastes something else. I forget what would make a horrible surgeon taste all of the body parts to via because you know, you rely on.

Emory Cynthia one bit twelve bit
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

01:49 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"We seeing some fabrication that isn't even close to reality. And he actually was able to look at this evolutionary. He studies visual perception, and how people actually perceive stuff, and what he determined through lots of different studies and also different approaches and different fields. Was that organisms that see reality as it actually is go extinct? So if you see the matrix zeros and ones you go extinct, and the reason is it takes a lot of energy to actually see reality in all its complexity, and so the second propositions, well, the maybe we just see part of reality. But it's still real. It's just not all reality. And that's what most visuals scientists propose what he proposes based on on his cognitive models and computer models and simulations is that organisms at see any aspect of reality as it is go extinct in just a few generations, whereas organisms that see reality as a fitness icon design. To help them reproduce thrive. So in other words, there is no bottle of water here as such there's no water. There's no atoms as PO paper there's none of that. This is a graphical user interface at is a human have evolved to see to help me survive. I see something wet that. I know that if I drink it, I will not die. So we have this short hand hack in how we see the world and over and over and over he gives examples of insects who will go extinct having sex with a beer bottle because it's perfectly hacked their interface to look like, a female insect, and these male insects in Australia. These beetles will have sex with his bottle to the exclusion of beautiful females nearby because it is so perfect. This has been hacked in advertising with humans to make things. Look, hyper appealing any McDonald's ad where opening the burger, and you see the juicy cheese. And all that, by the way. The vegans hate us..

McDonald Australia
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

03:40 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"Yeah. The point it makes no it's a book about meditation, and at talks, I think it does a great job explaining that like exercise the purpose of the hour. You spent in the gym this morning was not because there's something particularly inciteful about moving dumbbell from here to here here to hear here to hear isolating this muscle. And you know, putting this thing on your back and moving in this direction. And in other words, those are simply tools that we're using those a state that we create in that hour of exercise, but the goal is to give you traits that last twenty three hours. I would suspect you're getting a hell of a lot more than, you know, twenty minutes or five minutes of benefit thereafter. My guess is that kind of a meditative practice is infused into the other twenty three hours of the day in how you react. I mean because I don't even practice that long. And I feel the difference. I feel infinitely less aggressive. I feel infinitely more empathic. I'm a little jealous. Actually, I I really feel like I need up my game. And I'm not saying that in a competitive way. But like realizing there's because I just had this Kevin rose the other day, and he said the same thing, which is you know, he has just totally upped his game. And he's going like forty five minutes a day. And he also mentioned that there's a real threshold. You're getting over in terms of the practice and the settling of the mind. And this is the thing it is a threshold effect because something has happened people who talked me they haven't talked me in a long time or like what happened to you. You're so much nicer. There's something edge. That's been taken off. Again. You don't know one thing that he says in the mind eliminate is that if you practice meditation without somehow applying it in your daily life, it's like a bucket with no bottom the stuff goes through. It's like a sieve. Whereas if you're starting to collect some of that mindfulness, and mindfulness is just simply lack of reactivity being able to go that's happening. Okay. Instead of making h Tim said a best on your podcast. He said you become response able so you're able to actually make a response. An automatic knee-jerk elephant. All right. We just have to acknowledge took a p break we'd probably forgot what we were talking about beforehand. And the last thing we were talking about was I was revisiting your dick pic joke that that's making me laugh. So I realize I didn't add taint into the mix because the taint is often. Glad you know, we had a joke actually when we were admitting patients when I was in attending Stanford. The team would come to mingle. Yeah. They're trying to surgeons are trying to admit this gallbladder to us, even though we don't do operation. They're saying it's non-surgical. This reminds me of when I worked on the taint transplant service. Like, what do you mean? You've never worked on taint transplant where you're taking donor taints and your flying in and, you know, homeless guy dies on the street, and you take excise pain. You put it on ice you fly it off. And I would ask them. I say listen is this person in the hospital for anything other than their taint. If the answer is. Yes, it doesn't belong on our service. If this is for a taint issue and attained issue only that I mean, I'm talking about taint the balls taint the ass the space between those two then it's ours. It's a simple algorithm. And by the way, the graft versus host disease. On a taint transplant can be devastating devastating because both your balls and your are affected. And when they both go down, what do you have? Really can I pitch something to you? Because we were talking about meditation that I wanna talk about what you do as a doctor. And and you can ask me anything. I wanna pitch you this theory of consciousness and reality, and I want you to tell me as a smart person. What you think? All right. Dr Donald Hoffman is a professor of cognitive science and computer science at university of California Irvine. He was on our show he has posited this theory, and it starts with this basic idea, which is. Do we see the world as it is? Or are..

Dr Donald Hoffman Tim Kevin rose Stanford university of California Irvin professor twenty three hours forty five minutes twenty minutes five minutes
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

03:38 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"Oh you stick around for the weekend going home tomorrow? And it was like, you know, and I wasn't rude about it. But I think he could tell what this boring, dude. Like there's nothing else to ask. So I was like I got the dodge bullets. Same thing is how do you you have to tell almost like it's a huge complicated unfolding and he didn't want. I mean, there is no circumstance like the other place where I will be equally dodgy is at like the parties of the parents at the school where you were with all the other doctors and all that stuff. And this is my favorite thing to do is like I will spend an entire evening talking to a group of doctors. And learn everything about what they do and manage to not reveal one thing they will think the entire night this. This guy, you know, I'll be dressed like this. And they're all dressed nice. And you know, they will take my shepherd or race car driver that is magical. I actually want to hear about what they do. And truthfully, I think it's just selfish. I mean, if I'm going to be brutally honest. You know, what it is? I don't learn shit when I'm talking now. I'm not learning anything when the other person's talking to learn and I'm kind of selfish when it comes to desiring knowledge. Yeah. So I think the real reason I enjoy being in that setting and hearing what is that? Dr do what is she doing? What is he do is? I'm soaking it up, and I don't have to waste any of my time hearing myself say the same stupid thing, and you and I both read this book, which I have just happen to have here the mind illuminated I was trying to understand myself better understand meditation better stop screwing around trying to meditate for five years. And just being like, I can't seem to get. I think I read that on SAM's recommendation two or three years ago. Really? Yeah. I discovered it just randomly on Amazon read it and was transformed in my practice because it was. Do you? Remember the greatest American hero. It was a show in the eighties with a guy this guy Ralph he's like an insurance broker something any these aliens come down find him give him the suit that's a superman type suit, and it gives them superpower. And they give him that. I remember remember this believe it on walk in on air, and they give him the instruction manual to the suit. And they go here's how used this shit. And he's like cool, and he reads it and his bad guys are coming. So he learns how to shrink himself down he shrinks himself down with the suit. And then he gets himself grown again forgets the fucking manual, and it's microscopic now, it's gone. So he has to figure out how to use this powerful suit all by himself for the rest of the season. And that's where it's fun. Well, that's what it felt like with me for meditation trying to understand myself, and my what is my narrative, and who am I what's going on you blindly scraping around trying a little of Harris's meditation and doing a little head space doing then I got this book, and I'm like, it's the goddamn manual for nerds and for type. Bays who wanna process and part of what this thing talks about is this sub mind system. This idea that our mind is really like a board room where you're projecting stuff on a screen, and that's our conscious awareness, and what's doing the projecting. Are these sub mines there's a auditory sub mine projecting sound of visuals of I'm predicting vision. And then there's a narrating sub mind that ties these things together integrates them in projects them as this sort of integrated picture, and that's what tells our story at any given second. I am a race car driver and shepherd or I am a former burned out doc who's now trying to transform medicine which is the lion currently telling myself, and it's created like a beads on a string in these moments. These slices the liberating thing about that. Is that at any moment, you're next life could be something completely different. It's influenced by the momentum of the previous slices. But it is in itself, an unknown and anything as possible..

Ralph Amazon SAM Harris three years five years
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

03:05 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"But you also were surrounded by some of the most skilled gifted remarkable surgeons and the residents above me, meaning the people that I was trying to emulate these chief residents and senior residents in the fellows. I mean. Oh my God. I mean, some of them were just God's to me. And I still keep in touch with most of them. Right. Many of these people who were like, you know, my heroes are still my heroes in a way actually just ran into one in the vaughn's like very recently. She was my fellow on pediatric surgery when I was an intern. And she's now an attending in pediatric surgery in San Diego into each other. So and she. Yeah. Vons about card because that's important. You don't get a discount shoe? I can never remember. It's I- Mu-chou. My wife's phone number every time. But idea in a way, I think I needed permission. I think my parents thought it was crazy. You're a gyp Shen. Yeah. So do you have the classic immigrant parents? Or were they I enter a second, you know, super classic. My mom, actually is completely supportive. So whatever eighty my mom is I literally could be a garbage man, and she would be delighted, but my father was very upset when I finished engineering turn down my scholarships to do the PHD's in engineering, and then had to go back into a post back here to go to medical school. He was super upset about that. Right. Because you didn't that post back where you got all the pre recs for medical school. What changed your mind from engineering to tough story to tell me to get into that? Yeah. Guess promotional in future? Maybe when when we're both more woke. Yeah. Because it's tough there things I won't talk about and it's because it's so personal. And it's thing that I'm still working through. We're constantly in this. If all Ving thing, you know, and again, our identity as type a kind of crazy driven people. And you work with like some of the top performers around the world, and you do crazy shit. Like guys might for my fans who don't know, Peter. This guy does shit that will blow your mind like, I don't I don't do any shit. I don't do anything. But do how many have in the past? But I don't do anything. What's the longest swim eve ever done pre twenty five mile just twenty five? Yeah. But I mean, if you've dropped me five miles from shore today, I would pretty much die. But she know. 'cause you're you're evolving to something every minute, which which we were talking even before the start just a little bit about our mutual admiration for Sam Harris and his idea of the self and how it's an evolving transient almost lose thing. But so is our identity with the story we tell about her. So the story of I'm an engineer. No, I'm Dr no, I'm a consultant. What's your story? Now, I'm in people who've listened my podcast sort of know this and I've gotten a little bit of grief for it. If ever given the choice, meaning if I'm at a party or if I'm somewhere where I'm asked. What I do. I only have two answers. The first is a shepherd and the second is a race car driver. And the reason is usually the former nobody really asks you any more questions right shepherd. What do you mean like a religious thing? Yeah. Like, I mean, it's just like, you know, I tend to sheep in like a lot of sheep and San Diego. Yeah. Depends. You have to go inland. But yeah. And then that's just my way of I don't wanna talk about it. And then with the race car thing at first they think it sexy..

San Diego Sam Harris vaughn intern Ving Peter engineer consultant
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

03:37 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"Vegas which is currently demilitarized zone. For this pipe dream of starting clinic, and it's a little warmer than Palo Alto in the summer vaguely vaguely in very different ended. She bristle a Rasheed all in. I was the one he bristle. I was like that's dumb. I can't do that. And she was like, listen, this is your chance you gave me a chance for four years to pursue what I cared about. Now's my chance to pay you back. We'll go. We'll give it a shot. And if it doesn't work no problem, we'll come back, and who cares? And if it does work than great. So she was only push me. I mean without being married the right person. I think so the biggest decision you can make in your life who you partner with. I agree completely my decision to leave medicine that which is a hard decision to make you know, when you're two years left in your two hundred year residency, and I was like, yeah. I don't wanna do this anymore. But actually, my wife helped me see that because she said you are so miserable. Why are you so miserable? And I gave her twelve reasons, you know, she sat on it for a few days. And then she said, I know you enough we haven't been married that long maybe a year and she said, but I know you enough to know that there's only two ways you're going to get better. You either have to. Fix those twelve things on that list or you have to leave. And I thought about that for a few days probably for a few months, actually because this would have been the. Yeah. August of that year. So when did you guys get married we got married in four? So this is now summer of five. So I'm really thinking this isn't for me. You know reasons x y and z like, it would be my love the operating part of is just there too many things about the system, I couldn't stand. So then I came to that really hard decision. But I thought her framework was the right framework, which was it would be great to stay if I could fix all of these things, but I can't. So I probably need to go. And so that was the decision to go not know what go meant. I didn't know if it meant go into another specialty leave medicine altogether, go into the lab fulltime. And 'cause I just come back from NIH where I had spent two years in the lab. So all of these options were spinning through my mind, which was look maybe I'll just get a PHD and just fulltime D research or go and do this. We're going to it's funny. I found it recently. I found the document that I made this is how nerdy I was. I put a table together in word, and I had all of the things that I was considering doing with my life and the pros and the cons and the optionality triggers, and if you do this it'll cut you out of this. But if you do this, you might be able to pivot and do this like it was this whole thing. While engineer mindset, that's amazing. See we're so different that way because I was like let me throw some feces and see where it sticks sticks there. I'm going to leave medicine so for you. It was thought out, but it was prompted by your wife in a way. Did you feel like you needed permission from your wife? I think so because people often say to me when they find out I left before finishing at Hopkins. They said you must really hate at Hopkins and the answer is not at all. I freakin loved that place in many ways, it was it's hard to say one of the best chapters in my life because I feel like I've been really lucky I think the only really shitty chapter my life was college. But medical school was an incredible chapter. Residency was an incredible chapter. You know, work post residency was all of these. Things have been very enjoyable. So now the Riyadh it is. Like, I had amazing friends there who am still incredibly close to wonderful mentors. Obviously, like, all hospitals. There are I think twenty percent of the surgeons at Hopkins, you wouldn't let operate on your cat because they're absolute. I mean, assassins to everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. It's true everywhere..

Hopkins Rasheed Palo Alto Vegas Riyadh NIH partner engineer two years two hundred year twenty percent four years
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

03:29 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"Because I'm in the Silicon Valley, I'm at work for a couple startups and see what happens, and I did that for year and in that year, I learned a lot about myself. I learned that without that stimulation of that deep relationship like money as a stimulus was never going to cut it for me, which I wanted it to Peter I wanted to be rich. It could happen. I was doing well as moving up in these companies, and then I just felt empty. So my buddy John offered said, hey, there's hospitalised gig at Stanford. You should take. It saw your. Colleagues from residency. We're doing this cool stuff. It's great. And I said I'll try it for a couple of months. I was there for nine years, and that was the first real medical job. I was moonlighting and I loved it. But this was it and being able to spend time with patients when they're acutely sick in the worst day of their life in the hospital sitting with them spending time, it was before the EHR HR, the electronic health record kind of destroyed our ability to make eye contact and it was beautiful, man. I kept a diary because I was weird in those days, and I was like thirty and I was like this. I'm blessed like who gets to do this like I found my perfect niche and it lasted probably four years before things are too chain. So then what changed for years into that nine year stint? I think what changes what's been changing in medicine across the board. Which is the creep of medicine is business medicine as assembly line medicine is process to be improved not medicine as deep human relationship. That's a sacred calling. So what ended up happening ES Argos live productivity. We start to lose house resident supports a where more they're expecting us to just see a bunch of patients to generate revenue, and it's not so much. About teaching. It's not so much about mentorship. Is not so much about a team. What I love about the hustle you go through. Hey, bob. How you doing social workers case managers there? We know everybody our RT's, and they're all all supporting each other. It's not hierarchy goal. It's like whole article everybody brings their thing that started disappear with the pressure of click. Click click, and I was going home in charting at home. And then I had my daughter. My first daughter in two thousand seven and that was a tipping point where I was like, I I'm treating my daughter like, you know, my burnout is expressing in how I'm treating my daughter, and I can't spend time with her. I can't read her stories at night. I'm thinking about clicking these boxes and epic. And I haven't finished this did I remember to check the potassium on that guy. You know? I'm the type of guy can't just sign it out. I have to like I own it too much. So it just got horrible. And I started being nasty, and like my relationships were suffering, and you know, what did your wife think at the time? So she was radiologists academic radiologists at Stanford. So she found a path that was really perfect for her introvert. Very science minded loved the team. Hamic of it. She looked at me and was like urine a bad. Did you guys meet at UCSF? We met a Stanford as interns the year that I met you. She did all medicine, and then came to a pithy don't like medicine parents were really into medicine both were medical people. She's like they didn't see radiology is a real doctor Chinese parents Salat of pressure. So she's like, you know, what I'm not going to specialize in pulmonary critical care. I'm gonna go back and do chest radiology and Zubin you're going to support me by the way for for years. If more residency and fellowship, and I was like all right. And so when that table turn, and I was miserable and depressed. She was the first to say, you know, 'cause we got in this. I mean, that's another story. We started making videos putting him online. Tony Shay, this Eve's apples reached out. But before that, she's like, what can we do for you? Do you want to stop working? I'll go up to fulltime. She was eighty percent, and you can stop working. We won't have a ton of money, but will in the bay area. You're poor. No matter what you do. And that I was I don't know. I don't know. I don't miss how how long after. Seven this would have been await. Okay..

Stanford Zubin John ES Argos Peter I bob UCSF Tony Shay eighty percent four years nine years nine year
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

03:17 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"So you trained in internal medicine when you finished at Stanford. What was the first job? You took isn't attending. So I'll be honest with you about your two of my residency. I wanted to GI always intellectually interested. Your dad is a guest on just isn't actually a primary care doc who also trained in pulmonary. Oh, I just for some reason, I always love GI physiology. Love hepatitis C. I loved the way that digestion works and the mind body gut connection. I thought was fascinating I loved irritable bowel syndrome because I thought how interesting that the mind can influence what we send in our in our gut when we get butterflies coming. So second year, though, I did the rotation had terrible mentor. It was just scoping routinely doing kalanick's copies and EG dis. And it was horrible the idea that that could scale for career was mind numbing too. Because when I hear someone saying I wanna go into GI. I assume they mean they wanna be in. They want to go because that's the most lucrative prodigy. I right, but you are more interested. And in like, the medical part of GI. I like the medical part of it and even hepatic was a little too much. But I wanted to scope that was cool that was video games in people's buttocks. Awesome. Great. But I like talking to patients I like the relationship, and I like the physiology of it talking to people about their issues because abdominal pain chronic abdominal pain constipation, nausea, vomiting a lot of times. These are these are deeply connected to the mindset. And so I that's what I loved. But then when I saw the scoping part of it was like, I hate this. I hate it. And this is most of how I make a living. It was repetitive. Mindless to me. It didn't sit with me. Plus I was starting to get disillusioned in general with medicine because most of what we did seem like bullshit. Most of what we did either harm people or wasn't thought out. You know, it's half baked in the thing is that caused the kind of moral distress. So is like forget it was burned out. It was tired. So by third year. I remember my program director to pull me in. And he's like, you're a bad influence on the interns is one thing to be burned out and tired. It's another thing to to. To model that for the younger, and it changed me. Totally then I became the great teacher and got focused on that. As a way to have self warn. What were you doing at about sarcasm or like the humor gone too far? Like, what was it? The humor got very dark. It became more of a wall, then a coping mechanism. So it was more. Like, how can I mentally victimize? Everyone around me by throwing blame to build a wall around myself. The fact that I feel morally bereft doing this job. So, you know, calling patients Gummer's, you know, the slang stand for it stands for get outta. My ER comes when the book house of God. Yes. And so I would use every haven't heard that in the long time because it's a horrible thing residents. But we heard it all the time. I just had forgotten. Not only do you hear it all the time. I had conjugated every form of that. So I was like that guys. Go out he's in status quo Mattis. You know, this guy's preparing to gome. He's like protocol home. He's got serious. Go mafi every version of Gomer I could use and it came from this black hole in my in my center where it was like, I'm a bad person. Right. I'm a worthless. Poor that's burn out really moral injury. So because of that I decided I was taking I told our program director Kelly sketchy knows the story of toll public. I said Kelly. I can't no I'm not going to match. I'm not going to do a fellowship. And I'm not going to practice medicine. I'm going to go into tech..

program director abdominal pain Kelly sketchy Stanford bowel syndrome kalanick Gummer
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

03:41 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"But then they brought in. They said, you know, Stanford's gonna be one of the test sites for you know, doing this whole thing because US Emily to is moving towards half the test being written and half the test being clinical with actor patients. The you know, we were basically just being asked to do this. So they could figure out the, you know, the kinks in the system. So for whatever reason it was just too long day. And I just wasn't really in the mood to deal with these actors and actresses who were annoying as hell to me. You know, you'd go in there. And you sorta knew what was going on you'd ask all the right questions. And then they'd give you this scathing feedback like they didn't even know what they were talking about an just bug me. Right. You can picture this. Right. I don't. I don't know if you guys can hear me breathing angrily. But this is I had the exact same expense keep going. So we had to do nine of these in a full day each encounter took thirty minutes. Twenty minutes to do the thing. Ten minutes to get the feedback. I do a really honest too. Good job for the first eight. I I really I'm trying as hard as I can I'm doing the best. I can I'm taking my beatings going into the last one, and I just lose it can't do it. And so I pull the chart out of the medical thing. And it says you're you're seeing MRs Smith and MRs Smith is here to talk about her daughter Suzy who is wedding the bed at night. That's all the information. You gotta go in and now play the pediatrician or whatever. So I walk in and say Hello, MRs Smith, and she's she looks kind of funny, and she says high, and I said my name is Dr evil, I went to even medical school. And she's a. Okay. Well. Suzy is. And she starts talking about Susan. I said I really want to hear about the details of Suzy's life. Let me tell you about the deep careless of my life. And then I do the entire monologue from Austin powers, quite inconsequential ending with as a restaurant in Vilma. Ritualistically shaved my testicles Zoroastrian. Yeah. You can appreciate this close to home. And I keep going, and then all of a sudden the door like basically breaks down because they're videotape thing which I knew and they get so pissed a running they go. This is over this is absolutely done. What it is totally inappropriate. What you just said. And I said I said testicles I said shorn testicles that that's a medical term. That's completely legitimate. Did you tell them have you ever experienced, Sean testicles? It's quite exhilarating suggest you try I suggest you try. So I got the boot it was a huge deal, basically drag me out there that is the most amazing thing. I've ever heard in my life. I'm so proud of you Peter Attiyah as your superior officer in in school because I thought that those patient actor things with the stupidest bullshit, and this is what they do this. What they tell you. You know, what you need to have empathy? You need to be able to read people you need to be able to see through lies and get to the heart of what's going on. So what do they do? They put you in a room of the professional liar. And when you see through it when you see it for what it is which zeros and ones because this person's faking it, I can't how can I show empathy? Someone who's pretending you want me to pretend I can become a liar two. And so I I did the same thing. I went in the room hands in my pockets like this the woman had faked bruises on her face. She was supposed to pretend to be abused. And my first reaction was how dare you pretend? How dare you mock people who've actually been abused you doing a shitty job of it. You're not a great actress. And I'm being judged on how I pretend like this is horrible. Gimme a real patient. So I'm so did you pass didn't matter because it was right? It was just being used as a. Trial site. So the next day..

Suzy Emily MRs Smith Sean testicles Stanford Vilma Ritualistically Peter Attiyah Austin officer Susan Twenty minutes thirty minutes Ten minutes
"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

The Peter Attia Drive

03:26 min | 3 years ago

"zubin damania" Discussed on The Peter Attia Drive

"So I was one year behind you in medical school. Now, you went to UCSF I went to Stanford is that correct gang war type deal. That's right. This was back when the merger was trying to happen unsuccessfully. That is a right. Pure animosity between the two best programs on the west coast. That's right. You guys were all that. Because you're rich, and we were. As fudge. But in the end of the day you come to Stanford to do your residency in internal medicine. So you are now an intern in the internal medicine program. I'm a fourth year medical students. Yeah. And I had already decided I was going into surgery. So I had done the heavy lifting to begin that application process. So I'm doing internal medicine, but there's no pressure because Stanford is pass fail. And it's like how can you fail the rotation? You know, it's not like I wasn't gonna show up. But I didn't have to like be the smartest kid in the room. I didn't have to like impress the hell out of the residents. I was like, hey, I'm going to be a surgeon. I might as well. Learn whatever things in medicine apply to taking care of surgical patients. So we show up on day one. And you're the intern. I don't remember who the second year was I don't either yet the third year I'm blank on his name, but you called him Darth Vader because his fantasy. He said was to walk. We can't name him now. And if you remember, but he's described that his. Fantasy was to walk down the hall of the hospital with a Cape because he was so smart, and everyone would think he was Darth Vader. I know exactly what I'm talking about. Oh my God. I remember his name now malignant. We're not. We're not going to say they won't say it. Yeah. Yeah. So I was kinda like this guy seems like a douchebag meaning the chief resident pointing at me that also. Yeah. And the second year was a non personality was my recollection. Like, yes. Didn't like they were sort of there. But not there, and you were the intern and it was out of control. I could not imagine how much one could enjoy a rotation of internal medicine. I don't even remember where we were. We the VA like it was at the mothership. We were at the mother show is weird. I'm getting like this weird emotional reaction because I remember you so well, and the thing is look look, dude, I've taken care of a lot of people have been through a lot of teams. They're very few people. I remember, and I remember Peter at the coming up nedical student fourth year cocky as hell as you were going into surgery. I did you already know in your mind. You knew I wanted to go into general surgeon new and so on a medicine team. We've already written you off someone who doesn't matter to us. You're not going down point putting energy into teaching me anything. And then you. You sat down and did the entire monologue from Austin powers, Dr evil in the therapist like, oh, my life is. I I don't even remember it. Yeah. And you're bald at the time shaved head had the finger here in the whole thing. And I'm an intern right? The only way I can cope with this shit is through comedy through humor. Humor was my coping mechanism from beginning. And this guy does this thing, and you're a medical student for of the balls to company that thing which in the hierarchical system like that already. I'm like this guy's my hero because I'm oppositional defiant. And then you nailed it perfectly. And I'm like who is this guy. So this interesting backstory to that. So my very very first rotation was pediatrics because when I went to medical school. I thought it was going to be a pediatric oncology. Wow. So I figured I better figure this out quick. And so I'm gonna do pediatrics I and this was the moment when I knew I couldn't be on college was when I realized I couldn't be a pediatrician..

intern Darth Vader Stanford VA Peter Austin one year