4 Episode results for "Westchester Mall"
Shopping, Solving Teacher Shortages, Wine Investing
"This podcast is brought to you by eight. P engineering experiences that amaze. Hp creates technology with purpose to make life better for everyone everywhere. Learn more at hp dot com slash sustainable impact. Welcome to the bloomberg markets podcast. I'm hall swinney along with my co-host upon quin every business day. We bring you interviews. The o.'s market pros and bloomberg experts along with essential market-moving news trying to bloomberg markets. Podcast on apple. Podcast or wherever. You listen to podcasts. On bloomberg dot com. You're listening to bloomberg markets on this black friday and it is the season for holiday shopping. We know though this year it is not about doorbuster deals this year. It is about shopping in a social distancing world. Paulino you and vonnie quinn talked earlier. Dana tells e she said the consumers pretty healthy yet exactly right and they're looking forward despite all the craziness in the world here the consumer does have some liquidity as well. Yeah well let's let's get to somebody who's got a front row seat on all of this. Jim fallon is editorial director of women's wear daily. He joins us on the phone from tarrytown new york so jim great to have you here with pollen myself the westchester mall. Not too far from you guys. But as we are hearing colleagues are sending in. they're talking about the malls and riverhead and so on and so forth the outlets. Everything's very quiet. It's a very different black friday this year extremely different and i think it's going to be a very different holiday season overall. I mean it's if any time is going to be an online holiday. This is the year and the question is. Will it ever go back to what it used to be so dramatic. I think it was as we've heard from retailers really over the last several years we've heard about this concept of channel kind of being online bricks and mortar. You talk to us. What omni channel means to you and how we're seeing that play out this holiday season. Well they were omni channel basically is now utilizing your brick and mortar assets. In a way that is going to pretty much drive traffic to your website. I mean i am deloitte or Or adobe predicted one hundred sixteen percent increase in Buy online pickup in store. Curbside pickup. so you're seeing walmart. You're seeing target. You're seeing all these retailers. Really using their store base to fulfill orders from online Especially with the surgeon online orders and worries over deliver in things like that so whereas omni channel used to be. Oh you know we have our store and we also have our website and we're bringing into together. Now it's really. How can we use our store base to fulfil orders from online and yes customers might come in but not in the numbers that they used to. Yeah i listen. I got to say to you i. I've done a shopping and the packages. I've warned our team today. That i got to listen for the door when packages or drop because we have some porch pirates in the neighborhood so got to be careful and get them. But what's interesting in your neighborhood. It's a good neighborhood. It's just they know the packages that are delivered a really good too. But what's interesting is. When i order i think about what's the exchange policy. How easy it. How much is it going to cost for shipping back and forth because i love shopping online but often ordering multiple sizes and doing things like that but i look at the store policies and that really determines where i shop a lot. Now that's a very good point. And i think consumers are going to become more and more wary and informed about those types of things and also the key crunch point is the delivery times and you know i think predictions are now that pretty much december eleventh is going to be the cutoff. I keep hearing different opinions on the one hand. A lot of people say oh. Consumers are much more forgiving. They recognize the crunch on retailers And so of packages don't arrive on time. They're much more forgiving. And i keep thinking to myself. They're forgiving until december twenty four. Th when they're waiting for that one gift for their left want arrived and then So i think it's going to be a lot of pressure on retailers this year particularly the logistic systems and agai- benefit is how quickly they can leverage their store basis to fulfill those orders and drive the consumer to the store to pick up the product. Because again that gives the retailer bigger margin The key the question of this holiday is gonna be yes growth of online but what are the march is going to look like. Yes wondering jim. You know we're seeing boxes pilot outside of everybody's door up and down the street here talk to us about luxury. I mean if i'm gonna spend a lot of money on a luxury watch. Does that also work in an e tail e commerce type of environment. Or i want to or do you find. Consumers want to go to the store look at it hold it feel it all that kind of stuff. Surprisingly the luxury players are saying that more and more consumers are shopping. Online for those very high priced items. It's also forced those luxury player to offer those items online because luxury very much to. Your point was kind of snobbish about a lot of things but very much snobbish about the online experience. The consumer wanted that personal touch personal service had to be in the store etcetera. now because consumers. Haven't you know stores were closed. They didn't have access to those consumers so they were setting up a lot of online shopping. A lot of video conferencing type shopping And you know the retailers. I've spoken to said they've sold jewelry worth hundreds of thousands of dollars via video conference. Just then drove it up to the woman's house and drop it off. This is what i think. I think this is something. That's really dramatically different. We caught up with the ceo of watches of switzerland. They talked about how you know. The whole idea of online shopping shifted to we. Were you know. Think use zoom and all these other platforms that we were setting up. You know sales personnel with customers online and doing it would be at a counter. Right like the shifting that we moved to that you know change in kind of how we shop and that that is something that will probably stay with us. And i think about that how important that could be especially luxury goods very much so as i said. I don't think it may slip back a little bit. When the vaccine's take effect and people are protected against the virus and so forth but this behavior is a fundamental shift in the way. Everybody's going to shop and i think it's the combination convenience if you can get that personal service even via zoom or whatever then you might not travel to a store and and you know in in the sense traveling to a store versus getting the one on ones zoom experience. You might get better. Attention actually invited zoom. So what are some of the items that are hot this year. And what if somebody is maybe are not I think you're gonna see the normal 'electronic seems to be taking off. A lot of tv discounts today Apparel sweaters the you know the things like that jewelry may do well because again. It's one of the few things that you women particularly will be able to show off when they're on their conference calls on the computer at home Guys like to show off like that new watch as well. I'm just there that's true that's true very much And so you know very much tops. Because none of us wear bottoms. When we're on. The computers are full disclosure. I have a bottom on right there. You go good But ironically you are seeing some growth in shoes and things like that. What the consumers at all price points are beginning to under are beginning to do is they wanna treat themselves. They're not eating out in restaurants. They're not going on vacation. So there's been this spending boom. Because it's like i have this liquidity as you mentioned earlier in the program. I wanna do something with it. I need a treat and so they're spending money on things might not wear right away but they're kind of buying for one this. This horrible experiences over. Jim have a good holiday season. I'm sure we'll be checking in with you. Throughout jim fallon editorial director of women's wear daily joining us on the phone from tarrytown. Hp's vision is to create technology that makes life better for everyone everywhere last fiscal year. Hp's sustainable impact strategy helped influence more than one point six billion dollars in new sales creating positive lasting change per planet people and community for the planet hp is transforming its business for a circular and low-carbon future for people hp is championing dignity respect and empowerment for all people with whom it works and for community. Hp is unlocking educational and economic opportunity through the power of technology with the goal of ebeling. Better learning outcomes for one hundred million people by twenty twenty-five learn more at hp dot com slash sustainable impact. Guest is really fascinating story here. She has positioned her company as the peleton of education by connecting teachers from around the country to school. Struggling to find teachers by taking over a classroom with livestream instruction get the latest. We welcome israeli a barn wall. Ceo of elevate k. Through twelve shelley. Thanks so much for joining us here. Talked about your company about the issue. You're trying to address short Thank you so much for having me on. So when you talk about the problem that you're trying to sort of keep covert aside. It's a labeling problem in the us k twelve schools and districts which is of the teacher shortage now in the fast there was already a teacher shortage problem that existed that were solving according to the learning policies to ever over five hundred thousand teacher wakened sees or uncertified certified substitute teachers teaching in the costumes with covid now. That problem has actually grown several times. So according to the american federation of teachers one in three k twelve teachers is expected to retire early due to covid. So if you just talk about the problem right now. The teacher shortage problem of the us. K twelve school districts already existed and with covid it's just accelerating at a much higher rate and that is the problem that we're solving when there isn't that great for matty show or the great sakes science teacher or the high school cybersecurity teacher not existing the local zip code. How can you bring that same power of amazing teaching into the classroom by livestreaming for that. Zip code is not a baddie art to the access to high-quality for one thing. I wanna ask you is. You said there were already over. Five hundred thousand teaching substitutes in our system. Why is it so that sounds like a really high number is it helped me out here right so the where you have to think about about this problem is it's not really that the supply of teachers over all right so if you look at the overall demand for teachers as today there are three point. One billion k twelve teachers and the school system the sublime maybe slightly higher than that but where it breaks is the geographic arbitrage. We do a lot of work. Let's say in south georgia yard dirty county right sometimes. It's impossible for them to find a spanish teacher there or the calculus teacher. But there's a high supply of teachers of calculus features. Maybe in san francisco so the problem really is offering geographic arbitrage. I am surprised that there is not more conversation about this problem. As we talk about this killing america and re-skilling who'll america costs In specifics so the problem exists aid. Because of that the second reason the problem exists is what the children need to learn is changing. We have a lot of conversations about them. Computer science cybersecurity. It's the school district on find of grade. Ford mac teach how to go figure. How are they ever going to find a computer to find teacher so the problem really existent. People were talking about it. But i think cole has just brought this problem center and complete completely front on this. Is the problem plaguing most need the lower income neighborhoods in the country. And i think about paul like you probably thought about it with your kids. I know my parents. Did they thought about when they bought a house where we were going to grow up. And what kind of education. That was a big thing and we know it's just not equal right. Paul around the country absolutely and shaly. I'm just wondering what the you know what this country has been dealing with really for the last eight months as it relates to education much much more virtual education. What are your thoughts on the viability. The quality of that virtual experience vis-a-vis the in person experienced. Since you've had some experience with it thank you so much for asking that question. I think it's a very important question to be asked you. You'll see a lot of articles now. Talking about bush and education is not working online is not working. I don't think virtually occasional online is not working. What is really not working the way it is being done over. The last several years we as a company have honed in on the specifics of what makes real life. teaching in fact for gays meant pedagogy. The way you teach. How is the teacher being. How is the teacher being up. Like evaluated. What are you doing in a life and waterman think about virtual teaching now. And what you see that your children were basically done is taken up. Dot com like zuma google me that was built for business and bandaged. It takes less than district. Let's use it and that's the reason it's not working because it wasn't good for the child. It wasn't built for engagement. The teachers go through the right amount of training. The teachers are not going to the right amount of quality. Audits because everybody's just crumbling to let's get something out of the kids. The instructions law that is going to happen specifically in the low income because because your children pollen count is still you know you have fired from your laptop. You have electric city. When gobert hit the transition was easy. We look with some school districts when covert head. Only thing that the superintendent would say the goddesses make sure that the meals are delivered to the kids. Some of these kids don't have electricity at home. Some of them don't have by so they were different issues them my viewpoint. This virtual learning online learning works. If it's done well. And the three pillars that make it. Highly effective is great. Technology built four. K twelve right absolutely amazing star teachers and great content. You know carol fortunate to in a town that has a very good school system but this summer schools just about to open. I saw for the first time signs in front of the school's recruiting substitute teachers. The district was really anticipating with the cova that there would be a greater need for substitute teacher. So if it's happening in strong school districts you gotta really wonder kind of where we are in some of the others and fortune to continue our discussion with elevate k. Through twelve ceo. shaly byron walsh. A again just highlighted to me this issue of teachers and give us a sense is this. Are you finding that there is a growing of teachers or maybe just that arbitrage that you're talking about earlier that's really a regional thing. I would answer that question in two phases number one and the first problem is a geographic arbitrage. Right look at the supply of teachers right now but however when we think about building a company even think about reforming complete industry. You have to think about what this is going to do. Long term and i do believe that adds. The percentage of people in general taking teaching certification for wanting to be teachers reduces. This problem is going to further increase rather than jumped in fact saying the low income neighborhoods very soon actually in fact high income neighborhoods. So what we need to do as as a society what we need to do as a company is not just think about the problems that we are solving right now but also think about what are the strategies and measures that need to be taken now to continue to improve supply of teachers like to make teaching fund professional again where millennials and wanted to be teachers and they're not water about that being. The teacher get paid a law where they want to live. I think one thing that gobert has done is what people can live anywhere they want and with our live streaming instruction. Teachers can't eat straight into a classroom at the kids are in one physical location from red. They want so. I look at it in two phases. And that's how. I see the problem solving. So don't you think all. I also think there's something wrong with us as a society shortly that i don't think there is a lot of respect for teachers. We certainly don't pay them often enough and we also asked teachers too often buy their own supplies. You know contribute. There's something wrong. I didn't grow up where my parents had a by. We bought the things. I basically needed but the schools applied a lot and something's happened in our world despite the amount of money that we haven't spent on taxes and and it goes into education. We've gotten. I don't know we really kind of got messed up. So how do we pay teachers more so that people want to be a teacher and come into the occupation. How do we make sure schools are funded in the right way So actually so we do surveys off of art. Teachers right have took over thousand teachers in the us located everywhere. They teach online teach- life. And when we do our surveys caroline be asked him. Why did you leave the school district to work with us. What caused it and the number one reason was because they were so done with a lot of the rockies in politics happens within the school district where the went into teaching for the joy of teaching. So frankly it's not so much the money because the rest of the systems around it but locks the teachers out of school system definitely paying them well making teaching a high paid job is definitely a plus. And i'm hoping that with some of the laws changing with some of the policies coming in we see more and more of that Teachers want flexibility a lot of teachers from north dakota there from oklahoma where they live in. Small towns of the cost of living is low for teaching in a big doubt in. Let's say north carolina. And into a classroom and i think that what is causing them to leave the profession. And if you look at the root cause analysis of that and start targeting each one of those you will see more and more teachers come back into the system like we've got news with companies like learning code-sharing teachers very partnering with university of phoenix. Talking to these universities on how you can make your teaching curriculum. more impactful. That more millenniums and the younger generation want to get into this profession and teach the way they want to maybe from a beach. And how do you make okay. I'm in told me but what's interesting. I have a cousin i mean. She's retired now and probably would have kept teaching a few more years. But you mentioned bureaucracy Talk to me about situations where schools didn't backup teachers against parents and it became where teachers were kind of having to reprimand kids or just got really difficult. And i do wonder you know that dynamic how what you're hearing about that as well i would say that probably not every school district goes through that we have the fortune of working with some amazing school districts and their leaders and superintendents load of staff. Because again it's like any other organization right you care for your people you give them the right tools and the entire organization flourishes so specifics. What i have heard about is number. One is the time commitment required right as a or you may think that that. Atm to three pm is where your life. And snow your life kind of continues beyond that. The among the number of hours of work that they have to do beyond the tree is what pushes a lot of teachers from the regular brick and mortar system to working with us online. The second is the flexibility of time. More than sixty percent of the aging population is women. More than eighty three percent of artesian population is dry. So you see the difference. Their and they are between thirty to forty eight. Their mother with the teaching certification. So they need that flexibility. Than i can work and i can also be at home. Ben needed so that flexibility that gig economy has offered to a lot of other industry types. I it comes to capable of now. And that's the we're trying to change just quickly. What is most school districts. I would say around. The country are really struggling with virtual learning. What mistakes do you think they're making. What advice would you give them to try to improve their virtual learning. I think the. I the only advice that i would give them. Actually not the first one is been leave in synchronous. Teaching what the difference between synchronous and asynchronous learning and teaching isn't genucel a lot of remote teaching. That's happening not with vacation. But without world is a teacher would come online each for maybe ten fifteen minutes. And then that's synchronous teaching and then give eysenck and his work to the kids to do on their own watch video sell space learning again it goes back to the have and the have nots. Right like your children would be proactive. Would want to do as and concerning. Maybe maybe not. I'm not sure but a lot of the stupid into we serve. It isn't a cultural of success. They don't have those examples so what is really not working is the zach of synchronous lives. Teaching into remote learning online. Learning is not live learning. I think the industry and the country start understanding the difference between the two. That's a really good important Distinction especially as we move forward and we expect that does online learning is going to kind of stay with us in some form or another. I'm shelley thank you so much. Shaly baron walsh. She is founder and ceo of elevate. Kate twelve check out more about what they're doing. You can go online and find out about that at facebook. We're taking action to keep our communities safe we've tripled. Our safety and security teams built new privacy tools and invested billions to keep our platforms safe. What's next we support updated internet regulations. That set clear rules for dressing. Today's toughest challenges learn more at about dot. Fb dot com slash regulations. You know we talk a lot about diversification when it comes to investing right and that often includes some hard tangible assets including wine which is what our next guest knows about ethnic saying. He's a repeat entrepreneur. He has founded and sold a couple companies. His current venture is as co founder and ceo of veto vast. Excuse me tech platform for investing in wind and he joins us on the phone in los angeles Anthony it's nice to have you here with paul and myself first of all. How are you doing. And i'm curious about the pandemic impact How what has hat on your business especially go back to april and then kind of where we are today clearly first of all. Thank you both for having me on. Yeah i think what the pandemic with a lot of being You know lockdown and certainly drinking a lot more wine. i think we've seen a lot of tailwinds. Especially in the high end. Why investing market as coupled with that law of savvy investors are thinking of ways where they can diversify away from traditional stocks and other assets where they can start to hedge some of their prophet. So i think with our company with a lot of other alternative besting companies. We've started to see a lot. More openness and interest from retail investors and institutional investors like so anti. Tell us about your company hat. Does it facilitate investing in fine wine. Absolutely our company makes it simple and accessible for anybody to be able to invest into fine wine as an asset class. So do we actually help with the selection. We also help. Our investors store their wine ensure their wine as well as provide a platform for the quantity into selling their line whenever they want. So if i deposit some money with your in can give you some money. Will you go out and buy a basket of wines for me to invest in or how. How does that work. How you decide what i should be buying. I guess that's a great question. So we do take a basket approach. In that. Eighth on your. Maybe your risk tolerance your investment timeline as well as how much you have to actually invest. We're able to then have our team as well as the algorithms that would bill the able to construct portfolios winds. That could be right for you so just like in the traditional stock market. You've got your equivalent of blue chip stocks or maybe you're emerging market stocks There's the same thing in the wine ruled dear some wine regions and producers that are a bit more established than others have Really predictable gains as the winds mature age. And there's also newer and hotter up coming regions that maybe a little. Bit more speculative i can also deliver returns that are above above market. Hey anthony. i'm curious about your demographics. 'cause if if we wanted to get started and you can start. You know for as little as a thousand dollars right. I think that's your standard Got a platform. Premium is fifty thousand. You have to have a minimum balance and then there's the grand cru which is about a quarter of a million dollars. minimum balance. Who do you have the most of on your platform. I'd say we'd definitely still have the most of our standard plan so most folks i think are really unfamiliar with investing mine. Maybe they've heard of a friend or two as a couple of expensive bottles in their miller with the general concept of wine going up over time ages and gets more expensive but Most people don't really know where to start and that's really where we wanna be as the that accessible entry point for someone to be able to maybe start with a few thousand dollars to diversify away from the stock market and build on comparison to become more knowledgeable and comfortable anthony houses house wine done as an asset class from investment perspective and kind of benchmark. Do you you look at or should we look at. Yeah that's a great question. So in terms of the performance of the fine wine market over the past thirty to forty years it's outperformed the s. and p. five hundred. It's had annualized returns of a little bit under twelve percents and i think on top of just a strong annual performance what really stands out to most investors is the lack of volatility. It's really really slow and steady over the last thirty years. It's only had six down years which i think as something to diversify into that has lower volatility and really strong games makes it a really attracted class regardless of the fact that it's it's interesting you know. The economists had a store. I think it might have been last year just talking specifically about burgundy wine investors beating the stock market No pun intended. How liquid is it. So you invest you buy bottles or you have a portfolio created for you you can ultimately sell those bottles right and i'm curious how easy how quickly that can be done. You can also ultimately right drink. Those bottles absolutely so Since we are allowing each clients actually by the whole bottle or by the whole case of wine. And we're not securitising into some sort of a fund or some sort of fractional ownership. The client enjoys the benefit of actually having that direct ownership over the physical outset which means regardless of what happens to the price of the wine. That can still choose to drink it. Enjoy a gift. It whatever they like And your question about liquidity. We really only put You know put a premium on the winds that already have existing demand on the secondary market. So a lot of these top burgundy wines bordeaux wines or wants from napa They're always in high demand so we can be able to say You want it to sell off your portfolio positions tomorrow. We could get you out of those physicians in a matter of a couple of weeks because there are so many investors or collectors on the consumption side that want that y all right so anthony. I'm a value stock investor. How do i bring that over to the wine. What's the up and coming hot region or hot grower. That i should be looking at right now. It's called a screw top card from new jersey value there but i'd say for investment winds. What you wanna do is not. Look at the creme de la creme right those ones everybody knows. And those prices have have been skyrocketing for the past few years. What you wanna do is take an establish region. And maybe find some up and coming producers from that established region. So looking at andy there's producers that are selling balls alliance for ten thousand dollars twenty thousand dollars a bottle about they're all also ones that are maybe five hundred bucks a thousand bucks a bottle and You know that they're they're gonna be climbing into those stratospheric price ranges in the next few years another approach is to take a completely Up and coming wine region as a whole so. You're looking at the impact of something like climate change right. Previously places in oregon in the past decade really really started to blossom in popularity. Even of these top burgundy producers are actually buying up land there because they see that has the future producing the of the world as well. Thanks for listening to bloomberg markets. Podcast you can subscribe and listen to interviews at apple podcasts. Or whatever podcast platform you preferred. I'm vonnie quinn. i'm on twitter. Don clinton paul sweeney. I'm twitter at pt. Sweeney before the podcast you can always catch worldwide at bloomberg radio. Hp is leading the way in protecting our planet people and communities for future generations together. We can make quantifiable difference. Learn more at hp dot com slash sustainable impact.
The Sharper Image: A Brief History
"History or phone where we explore the hin back stories of the things you love to do. My name is Ross fresh chicken. I'm joined by Christopher Thomas plan, Chris, miss plant, they call law how you doing sounded a little sick there, but, oh. We also have Allegra Frank joining us, welcome Allegra. How even more sick. We have a very ill group today, and I don't mean cool. Today we're talking about, we're talking about something that I think not a lot of people think about, but I think for a lot of people, it is ingrained in their universal consciousness designed Geist of culture of society. And of course, I'm talking about two of the most important stores on the planet, the sharper image and Brooke stone. Do you guys have any memories or thoughts about either of these two stores. I love sitting in both of those stores and hanging out in the massage chairs. Okay. I'm glad you mentioned the massage chairs because honestly, this is my memory of them is I go to the mall with my friends. I'd walk into the sharper image with no intention to buy anything us everything in the store as the poor employees stared at me and grumbled about it. And what would leave guilt free? I'd leave like crumbs from the food court. I'd leave just like gross child leavings and they wouldn't care well, maybe they would care, but but I just use that store with reckless abandon. And now they're, they're no more. I think it only sold three things for, well, we're talking about the number of things, but what do you think insult the massage chair? Yeah. Like the electric balls and let you put like your hands on Elektra. She would go to them slash lava lamps. Movie sketchy. So like it's a life size version predator. It was always predator. And. The thing that's like it's a size your hand, and it's like a thousand light dole needles. And then you put your the needles cheer hand, and it makes the shape of your hand. What? Yeah. Well, or you can put it on your face, make the shape of your face shape your face. It would retain the shit. Yeah, like Dinh's packing of like little dole needles nails. Yeah. It's really the only time when ship needles are nails on your face. And then there is tons of other stuff, tons and tons of. None of it. I wanted to mention this because something happened this week. That's very sad or actually just last week. That's very sad. So bookstore on it was sort of a quite the to also mclemore is in the mix, but I quit book stone and sharper image book stone. Very recently, just the cleared their second bankruptcy in two thousand eighteen just a couple of weeks ago. There will no longer be any more book stonewall stores anywhere on the planet guy. They're done the airports, Justin airports, they are. But the but the true Brooks don't experience was which was experiencing an in a mall will no longer be. So I want to take a look back and see where bookstore came from, were sharper image came from and sort of look at them because when in my memory, I think of them as the same store. But in fact. Just the core idea of them ended up diverging pretty wildly. I think the branding is very different for each them and like the things they soaked. So talk about the more dull one, I, but quicker. And then we'll talk about the sharper image. Same page. The Brooks owns incredibly dull bookstore is I remember in my mind thinking he was more interesting, but honestly, books just started was started in nineteen sixty five by Pierre and Mary demo mope bit Dibble mall. I think that's how you pronounce that. They were a husband wife team, and they started the store. Basically, it was just a hobbyist store. They wanted to sell these little tools that you couldn't find anywhere else. So if you wanted to fix like the axle on your train or your window wasn't going down properly on your car, you could do that. And I should mention when I say train, I mean, like a toy train. Most people don't have trains. So they started hobbyist story was first opened. In New Hampshire and they would sell these these tools. And they were very popular to the point where they decided, hey, we can sort of start branching into different things. And this is when we start getting into like bookstore, as we know it, which is like a focus on like travel and leisure. Oh, those fancy luggage pieces that you can get at the airport or years this I dunno, bluetooth speaker that you can get at the airport, basically all the stuff they can get at the airport. That's when they started branching and they started seeing a little bit of success, but there was still losing money into the nineteen eighties. They still hadn't seen a profit yet until something important happened. When bookstore started it was directed it was they built it almost like a like picture like a golf course like clubhouse, like it was like a dude, Dan, a lot of like oak and like, you know, like you should be smoking cigars in there. It was like very unfriendly to everyone else. So they thought, you know what? We can make this a little friendly. Or so they ended up changing the whole schema of what books down was, and they made it much. We're open and broad, and that ended up being a huge hit for them, and it was this hugely popular deal and ended up being much more profitable and through the nineties. They were very profitable. They saw a ton of business. You probably got the catalog growing up. The famous Brooks catalog were with all those things you'd never buy. So they had a lot of business there. They had a lot of business in malls and people. It was like a classy place to buy like your travel stuff. It wasn't schlocky. It wasn't like low rent, although they did so a lot of crap that you'd need. But at least it had like an air of quality to it. And that worked out for a really long time. They were very successful. Until it wasn't. I feel like a lot of these stores that were focused on selling tools or gadgets, or stuff like that ended up vanishing over time just because internet and step further. Yeah, I feel like stores, no, but there are stores. What about bed bath and body works though exists? Yeah, are any stores I and as honest question are eighty stores doing well. Fathom bodyworks isn't doing well because you can't smell the bath on the internet. I guess trick you need something. That's got that. That only only IRL right clothing sometimes got he's up nobles, which reminds me we're sponsored by, but no one on don't give them. You're not monster by code. Polly. So yeah, they things went well for while and then in twenty fourteen, they filed for their first bankruptcy, not a good sign, but they kept trucking if you as you well know bankruptcy is not the end. It's only the beginning Jeff. Exactly. And they came back with vengeance for four years and then went into second bankruptcy. And now we see them today just existing on the internet on their website which exists and in airports. A world wind tour of. Of work stone. I guess I never thought about how like nothing. I go to malls very much anymore, but I really have only seen them in airports for like a very long time, definitely dwindled, but I also haven't been in a mall in like a very, very long time. Yeah, but they're completely gone from most now they shut them all down, which is very sad, just a correction for everybody. I mentioned Gary Oldman being bankrupt. I, I guess he wasn't thank rough time meets chested. Chested maybe I'd take it back. I don't wanna. Sued. So nobody, nobody. No, not going to name any names bankrupt. His. I know I said that Brooks was sort of dull, but there has been some controversy over the years. Let me ask you something. Does the does the word frog, oh, sphere mean anything to you? Don't go go at Chris Plante. That's gene. Going anything frog frog os fear? Nope, no show it should. So in the white teeth, housands Burke stone sold something called the frog os fear. Most there's stuff is pretty classy. Branding wise frog. Fear wasn't exactly top notch for that. Can I can I guess what it is often so long as you promise that you did not just Google it, I've promised that Google. Okay. Can't even when he is an aquarium like no. Okay. So so Brooks sold this thing called the frogs fear. Basically, you got a tank. You got two frogs, and you got a snail and a bunch of rocks and you basically pour it in. And the idea was the frog was fear was supposed to be the self sustaining thing where you would just put in food once every twice a week, and it would just like the snail would eat the algae and the frogs would eat the food and it would just like persist for pretty close. Sorry, my guess it was pretty close your guests? Yeah, you're almost exactly right. Now, this seems like a fine thing. You don't see any downside to do. I always do because it's a controversy valid. It seems that Pedo was not super fond of the Rago sphere. They took issue. They said that the tank needed to be much much larger. There's some debate about this. A lot of people say that the tank was fine. The bigger issue was that the instructions, a only said, feed them twice a week, which is about a quarter of the amount of time that you should be feeding them. You should feed them every other day and they are carnivores. So almost immediately the frogs would eat the snail on. Then there'd be ton of allergy and it would deliver sustained itself. This was like sort of a big story in the late thousands kinda to the point where they ended up having to take it off the shelves because of the pita of pushback on the frog goes fear and he was it only pita because, yeah, I mean, pita most people didn't really care a ton. Peter made a big splash about it, and there was a bunch of articles written about. The frog fear. I think mostly because people wanted to stick frog os fear in the headline of stores. Yeah, I did want to mention that they are still selling some weird stuff, although by and large, it is mostly as you said, massage, chairs, luggage, I forget some of the other things you said about what they sell books, but mostly it's massage chairs, so they still sell. Well, here's one. I'm not gonna go in depth about why I'm saying this is weird, but they still sell the Hitachi magic wand, which was very popular for a time. It was a back massager very specific shape. There was also they also sell right now a sauerkraut Firmin tation crock, which was mentioned in a wired article. This is a firm tation crock specifically for sauerkraut sauerkraut. You can spend sixty hours and get yourself a sauerkraut fermentation. Doc. My favorite thing that I found in browsing their website, they sell fidget spinner, emoji attachments. This is not a fidget thing. These are attachments for existing fidget spinners that have emojis on them. So if you felt like your spinner was a little bit like lacking in personality, you can stick like unhappy face or like cloud on there. And bam. You have an original Fitch is upsetting. So stone, as we've said, not throwing, but now it doesn't matter because essentially they don't exist anymore. You might see them in an airport, but you know what they are a shell, therefore former selves. Even more of a show in so far as they don't exist anymore. Outside of the internet is the sharper image. Now, the sharper image as we know is a little bit schlock year a little more eighties when I think of Wall Street, sharper image of the movie, not street, I think of raucous nece American psycho and sharper image. Do you guys know where the name the sharper image comes from. No sharp electronics. I have. No, I have literally no idea. I mean, my guess would be, you know, like an in the movie like enhance in enhances, and the image is like blurry night, sharper image. And then like you can see what's going on that it was something like that. It's interesting you are not there for off. Okay. So the creator of the sharper image was named Richard Thalheimer, early nineteen seventies. He started a company that sold office supplies and he named it the sharper image. Now without information, can you guess why it was called the sharper image. Because good printers very good copy machines. He had super accurate copy machines. So it was about we could provide the sharpest images possible. The copy machine office supply business did not last very long. It seemed like he was a little bit scattered in his focus because by the time he left law school in nineteen seventy seven. He found a different thing to sell and that thing was a watch, very cool. It was a waterproof digital krona graph. I'm putting that in quotes, but that's literally what that was. And in the summer of nineteen seventy seven. He found this device which was like, basically runners would use it. It was bought approve, so the sweat or rain wouldn't mess with it and you could run with it and it'd be fine. So he actually reached out to an ultra marathoner named Walt stack, and this guy was like the poster child for this watch brand. And now remember this company does not exist is no magazine, there's no nothing for the sharper image beyond this object that he wanted to sell. So he ended up buying a bunch of ads space in variety magazine selling this specific watch. He was the retail. For this specific watch and he put the sharper image and this watch on there and it ended up being massively successful. They sold for seventy dollars a piece. He took out an ad in runner's world magazine very popular, and apparently the just the name waltz stack was enough to move these watches the. He started seeing the true business, the true future that was the sharper image gadgets fun. Whacky gadgets, what's what's the matter? Chris Plante the way the world works. You know, just go on one the NEC's and Mike, how I am I not at trillionaire. On wall stack yet, who's your stack? I guess that's what I'm missing. So after the success he saw basically just leaned into this idea of gadgetry and stuff like that, and they started selling a variety of different like high tech devices. Sharper image was one of the first companies to sell the cordless telephone, very big deal. The first telephone answering machine, the first hand held micro computer. The first children's two-wheel razor scooter. Remember the razor scooter? Yeah. The sharper image was the exclusive retailer of the razor scooter. This is all coming from the sharper image. They pushed culture forward with their stupid objects. Scooter had to be like the last big thing for them. What was razor scooter? Well, actually the last like big push was from there. I onic breeze air purifier and they had a lot of a lot of business bookstore does this too. They sell these air purifiers that are very popular. I guess they work. They make the air clean, but they end up being pretty successful. And they did really well for a while in twenty two thousand three. Their revenues were seven hundred sixty million dollars and they were profitable and doing well and things were going great. And that's the end things just kept going great ruin. No earns whatsoever. No things were okay. In two thousand six, a hedge fund came in and up buying a bunch of the company because they saw it a lot of promise. A people love these air purifiers and these razor scooters we're gonna come in. We're gonna make a boatload. The problem is in two thousand six, which are all is still they're still at the company. He's the CEO and he owns a large stake in the company. At this point in twenty one percent of the company, but they with their money came in, they bought more than that and forced him out. He's still on the board with twenty one percent, but he was removed from his own company CEO by this horrible hedge fund that just take over. It was a hostile takeover. They shoved him out. But this good news for Richard Almir in two thousand six. As I've mentioned, they came in and ended up buying which with a Meyer out of his twenty one percent. With a very generous offer of nine dollars and twenty five cents per share, which ended up being worth twenty five million dollars for Mr. Richard Almir. Good on him later. Now remember he sold them for nine dollars twenty five cents a share two years later in two thousand eight, any guesses. What the stock for sharper image was worth. I'm gonna say. To forty five. I'm gonna save dollars. Seventy cents twenty. Nine cents a share. I'm his bottom out at nine. They've probably had to offer him like multiples of whatever it wasn't the time. Yeah. Gordon gecko over here. Drop some knowledge. I've never had money. I don't know. Yeah. So he ended up making a lot of money off of that and this poor company got kind of screwed it. Thankfully, sharper image still exists. But again, only as a website and a brand owned by the company called Camelot venture group, they also own the Cavaliers. They own fat head. Those dumb sports stickers. You can stick on your wall giant. Yeah, and one eight hundred contacts. So they're pretty diversified. And as I said, they still run the website at present on the website. As of this recording on the homepage of the website, they're are selling selling something called the hover helmet, which is one hundred twenty dollars. It is a sports helmet that sits on your desk and hovers between two magnets. I have no idea why. You have to admit there. Nothing if not consistent and big soft spot for them. You know, I my memories of going to the mall and really taking advantage of them very strong. And I know a lot of people have similar soft spot if people still need, they're like fix. I cannot recommend enough finding away to go to the consumer electronic. The Stanford. Yeah, Joe, yes. At the beginning of every year, talk about just I'll and I'll and I'll 's of this sort of like gadget junk that nobody is ever going to use. It was the first place that I saw a speaker that defies gravity, which is probably the checkout is used for this this helmet and it was like bright, airy, actually, they don't wanna highlight how it works. Sure. Yeah. But it is just full of a thing that somebody hopes, you know, some rain I'm company will come and look at their weird gadget like, well, we won't use that, but we'll use whatever technology is inside of it and it will buy it or sharper image comes on is like, no, it's good as it is. Strange thing. Cool. I just don't know who the audiences for most of this stuff like, okay, the predator thing, you know, it feels like a very and this is dumb because I'm sure all gen Xers who listen to this podcast go back to eat in your avocado toast. But when I think of generation x. I think of a generation of all, I'm gonna dump on them of slackers who didn't fell in just a minute amounts of wealth. And I mean, this is like my aunts and uncles. The young ones who they like, like, oh, yeah, sure. I guess we're gonna job and all this money now move into like hip loft, and I'll go to talking about the dot com. Boom people. Yeah, like original dot com. Boom, in even like cited before that, just like economy at its highest heights. You know, mid nineties, mid to late nineties. And like I picture that person and it's like, oh, I'm not going to use my money on like avocado toast there. Advocaat toast was like lava lamps. This is this seems knife this thing that I wanted, it's kind of fitting to, right, because if you think about that generation, if they were kids in like the mid seventies too early eighties, a lot of the kind of junk of the sharper image is inspired by a lot of those like. Wacky coup fall toys of that period just turned adult. So I could see how that would play two kids who grew up during a really bad financial period growing up, having all this, just throw away money and like hawking it on total gadgetry junk. That's Mike right by Erie. So I wanted to highlight. I know I already highlighted the some of the weird stuff. Brooks was selling this hour. Crowd fermentation, crock. I mentioned. Things get a little more interesting at sharper image. Just wanted to go through some of the more interesting things they've sold over the years. We'll start with the basic one in the eighties. They sold a fake carphone antenna that you could stick on your car to convince people that you had a car phone. Wow. Now I realize I didn't grow up at in this era, but if you had a car phone, you were a big deal doctor Dr. Richard Kimble in the movie, the fugitive had a carphone. He was a big deal. And if you haven't antenna on your car that shows you have a car phone euro big deal wife, right? No, it was the one man. Okay. Okay. Speaking of cars, they also sold a five hundred dollar torso named Gregory wait, what a torso? Yep, they sold the torso. Gregory was a male torso that you was like very well. I wouldn't say very realistic, but certainly if you were squinting and far away, it might look like an actual mail person and you could put it in your car or your living room to convince people that you are not alone. So you wouldn't be messed with wait, so. Okay. So has a head and everything just cuts off after the waste? I wouldn't say everything, but yes, it has a head and a torso. You meant just the tore tore so, yeah. Now, sorry, I should have specified. There's also a head. Five hundred dollars and it seems like a safe move. You dress them. However you want the ad actually says, you can guard him in sports casual or businesses hire more even put him in a tux for formal occasions. I would use US Gregory. Magic, like all of us have road Gregory's and like we're just like, oh yeah, no, someone someone's in the other room. They need me. It's my friend. Gregory really wait. My friend, Gregory you see your would everyone just has a friend Gregory over and the torso and it's just the source, oh, no head. One more kind of bonkers thing that the sharper image sold. So the Washington Post wrote an article in nineteen Eighty-six. Sadly there was a accidental shooting because someone was playing with a toy that looks like a gun and it seemed that the sharper image sold a very, very accurate replica of an Uzi submachine gun for two hundred dollars that would fire blanks. The description of the the gun in the magazine said, it would fire these caps thirty two rounds of caps in four heart-stopping seconds. So you could get an ultra realistic Uzi from the showroom 'age. They eventually stopped selling that. But for a time that was where you went if you wanted to get shot by a cop already, -ffective grandma. One one last one they are in the new generation because they also do sell an iphone Breathalyzer for hundred and fifty dollars. So if you wanted to make sure you knew how drunk were before you got in your car and you didn't wanna cop to do it for you, boom, under fifty dollars. The thing is yours. Feel like that is actually useful. Am I wrong? I mean, I think if you're borderline enough, I would say you probably shouldn't be driving actually. Yeah, if you have to take your own Breathalyzer. Yeah, not not a good sign. Actually. If you can operate the app, you're probably fine. So, yeah, the sharper image doesn't exist anymore except on the website. That's really like it and eight bums me out because they were of another of another era and I miss them. I wanted to herald. They're weird history now that you talk about them more like I remember Brooke zone better just because like we had them in the mall and I would. Well, I just like, you know, the chairs were so inviting. Did you go to Agra like the Palisades and Galleria west Westchester? I did not go to the Westchester mall because I was not enough. But anyway, so I would go to. Usually we just go to breaks down, but I do remember having a fondness for sharper image. I think maybe we got the catalog or something, and I do remember pouring over that because I thought the gadgets were really cool, and I completely forgot about that until you ordered a Virtual Boy office, sharper image catalogue. Wow. And regretted it. Because I ended up canceling the order. I never got it. He's talked about this in the past, never got it sad. Okay. Well, that's that's pretty much all I have on sharper image, but I do wanna get into read only memories real quick. Go for. Only memories. Okay. This read only memory comes from mayor mclovin. Good name once when I was fourteen, I went with my family and to friends Christmas shopping at the mall. We spent forty five minutes in the store, trying on the massage, trying out the massage chairs. And some girls came up to me and asked me if my hair was a, we've because it looked and felt so nice. Merry Christmas. Perry odd story from mayor mclovin, but very interesting on the list. Another story from lover Livia. Now player, I got a CD player that was inside a huge replica of a VW beetle for Christmas. Do you remember seeing this? The weird VW beetle CD player. I remember this. Okay. Well, yeah, we're talking about boozy after begging pleading for it in the sharper image magazine, a broke the first time I used it forever trapping my copy of the first. Harry Potter movie soundtrack inside. Oh, the two, thousands. What a time. These are excellent. I think another reason why sharper image had to die is maybe I'm wrong here. Technology has gotten so standardized. What do you mean one your phone does most everything. Right? But like if you're buying a piece of technology, you're buying the best one like you got, you're like, oh, I need a. I need a webcam and like you go and you buy the webcam or like, oh, I need. I need an Alexa. Go and buying Alexa researching. Yeah, but also it's not like, oh, I need an Alexa. You're like, well, does it look like a cheeseburger? Cheeseburger? Like nobody would do that any anymore. We're like back in the day. It was like, I don't know. It's telephone like it can. Can you have to worry about proprietary apps for telephones? So it just seemed to be a telephone. It could look like anything. It's possible that I'd never considered that my Alexa could be shaped like a cheeseburger. Now I really want one. Obviously it would be a hot dog actually. I guess you could vote the show would be a cheeseburger or the puck little puck. Yeah, that's that's a slider, could be a slider. We have one more read only memories. This one comes from Sam Murphy. I wandered into a bookstore on as a board middle score, and I remember it being the first time I was sold something under the table. This man knew that I was not purchasing clientele, but he absolutely talked me into buying this dumb clock that I still use ten years later, and he said the video of the clock. The clock is okay, so pictures digital clock. But on the bottom, there's like a little like toilet paper to tube of metal and the clock, just rocks back and forth and has a light on it. I don't know how this would be useful iron this. Yeah, it's like I've seen it a few times. It seems totally worthless. I guess the logic would be like the alarm goes off and you hit it and then it's like rocking back and forth in like the light wakes you up by rocking back and forth. I don't understand why there's also were the. That's how a sentence construction works. There. There were the the clocks that were like a liar with LED light on it, and then it moves back and forth and really, really fast. Oh no, it wasn't words out in the air. Yeah, those are cool. Yeah, those are. Those are cool, but, but it's the working ten years later and I do want to call out. I used is still use a sound machine to sleep, but I use these same sharper image sound machine for twenty two years of my life. How so? Say what you will about the sharper image. Sometimes they make pretty good stuff except for that VW. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm sure predators still kicking around after many years. He's not going anywhere shoe. It's retailer everybody in the hard news. Yeah, it's not hard news. Hard names. Okay. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. Tell 'em break the news. Are you ready? Scoop were going on. Hiatus, no, don't say like that. We're everybody is. It's over pack the bags. This show's done. It's actually a really good news. I. Fresh has had an excellent idea of how to make a show more enjoyable. So I will take take. I don't. I don't want to spoil to much about what we have coming, but I do want to say. Wall, we're going to be taking a short break of after this episode. We will absolutely be back in the fall, which really, I know that might seem like it's a far away, but right now as August. So don't worry about it won't be that long at all. We'll be back for a new set of episodes a season two. If you will see them when was apparently forty episodes long season to be that long, but we're going to be doing. Sort of based around a general theme but dial diving into very specific things around that theme. I don't want to say more about it than I have, you know, people can do and the comments making, what guests, the theme. Feel free to guess the, what are you win if you get it. Ration- in respect this going to be like who killed Mr. burns thing, where it will only person who gets the right theme is like on some really, really tiny message board. Never see it. Yeah, it's going to be like this, do not worry. This is all good news. We are taking a little bit of a break, but you know what? All the biggest pod case podcast take breaks and can't say the word podcasts serial took a big break member them. Everybody's these two. Let's compare RFK tapes. It's probably going to take a break after a while. Like how many tastes could they have? Yeah. So we will be back of very shortly, but we appreciate all the support you've given us overseas season one. We really love all you guys and all the reader only memories things that you guys have sent in. I ever wanna cross by for you guys Christopher plant Agra. What's one thing you learned this season. I learned a lot. I learned that I really wanna go to Tokyo Disney sea. Yes. And I learned that I really never want to go to Chuck e. cheese ever. And I learned that I really want a TI eighty three graphing calculator. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I learned that you can't trust the book world directly. Very good thing to learn. Yes, they're records are terrible. I learned about death, ball member, death ball, the dodgeball episode, very good. Thinking back to the street fighter, the movie episode episode and how raucous the set was on. That was excellent. And you know what I learned that I enjoy spending time with you guys. The most important thing to learn. It's friendship if people want to continue spending time with us, you can find us on Twitter. I'm at Landt, but the at the end. Allegra. Oh, I'm at likes Frank. Yeah, and I'm at Ross fresh dick, and you can find the show at. What. Oh, where are on Twitter fresh? I was setting you the twit. I was like, how would they know like? How would they be listening if they haven't found the show yet? Yes, the show has a Twitter account. It's called the history of fun on Twitter. Don't forget the history fund is not the account the history fund twenty. You'll be the first to find out the new theme you will find out when the date that were returning. And I have a special thing just for people who follow on the Twitter account. I will be in Tokyo at Tokyo. Disney sea invincib- timber, and I will live tweet from the park on that handles so joy that Evison I will be broadcasting live of very special Tokyo, see Tokyo Disney Tokyo's. It's gonna be great and I can't wait to to share that experience with every month. So make make sure you follow that account. Make sure you do not unsubscribe from us. We will be back real soon. But until then this has been the history fund where we explore the hidden or of the things you love to do. Goodbye. Those.
From the Vault: Robinne Lee
"Thank you for listening to this podcast. One production now available on Apple podcasts podcast one spotify and anywhere else you get your podcasts. Thanks for listening today's podcast made possible by our friends at Briars ice cream. You probably know briars. America's number, one ice cream brand known for their natural vanilla ice cream. Well, they've been making ice cream for over a hundred and fifty years now so they are the real deal and buyers partners with American farmers for one hundred percent, great milk, and cream and. And all of their products did you know that Briars is treats? That won't undo your day or healthy eating. This is Jerry's new obsession. He loves a BRIARS CARBS SMART. Actually a whole family. It's a line of sweet treats with three to five grams net carbs per serving the Bowl carbs, smart ranges between three to five net carbs per serving three grams. Grams of fiber or more per serving and a hundred and fifty calories or less per serving I mean. This is amazing thing about those incredible briars ice cream flavors that you know in love now in Carb's smart. It's the perfect companion to your low carb lifestyle and they've got todd's and bars in yummy flavors like caramel swirl chocolate covered almond vanilla peanut. Peanut. Butter cookie is a big favorite here. The dubrow household you are going to love this tribe. BRIARS carbs smart for your next sweet tooth craving. They're available at all major retailers Walmart Target Kroger. Amazon fresh and you want to go to Briars V. R., E.. Y. E.. R. S. BRIARS DOT COM slash heather to get a coupon to try it today. This is heather. Do World. Please welcome, Robin Lane. How are you doing? Thank you well. You know you're so lazy and not smart, and not pretty and Oh, my Gosh, what I what Oh you do! You're so gorgeous and talented and bright and amazing, and I did to hear about it, and you're an author now and not very good at math. How about that? Okay? Well? We'll take it. So, how are you? I'm great. I'm great. It must be very excited to have fifty shades darker coming out. It's really really exciting. It's been an incredible ride I'm completely floored by all the attention. All the media, the fans. It's been an incredible incredible journey. So, what do you WanNa? Talk about? Where we talked a little bit before we started on tape, but I. do want to go back and talk about where you came from where you went to school. Because I love hearing stuff like that, but I have to know so you get. The call from your age and right that they want to see you for fifty shades darker, and did you? What was your reaction? I got I came in an email, so I had the breakdown, and they had a code name when we were shooting with maximum banks, and I know Elizabeth Banks in her. Husband's name is Max Handelman so I saw it. I thought existent Elizabeth Bailey took me a second. What project is right and said Math Map Maxon banks and For the role of Bailey. Blah Blah Blah Blah, and it said the role of Christian Grey Jamie Dornan. Deal to go to Johnson. Wait a minute. It was fifty shades, but it was under codename. Kind of floored by it and I hadn't read the books I hadn't seen the first movie. Really you didn't read. The books didn't I, didn't I? Read all three I mean I did after a week after I booked the film lady. But I had it and so I I knew a lot of HOOPLA. And so I was following the rise of L. James in her fandom, and this legacy that she created and incredible dynamic. Bidding war, they had for this for this project like it's incredible, incredible story like how she started with this little story on what pad which was twilight fan, fiction and just built this massive fan base and women could not get enough of it i. felt like she tapped into something the we didn't even know we were missing. It showed. What struck me because I mean honestly I went through a period and you have young kids I. Do you get through these these periods of time where you realize you don't even have time magazine, know exactly like. I had to cancel all my subscriptions at one point there. It's just a stack now now. It's just stack of guilt. Exactly it is but I. Love Reading and I hadn't been reading, but it was so much hype on these bonds. That is an rn. Let me just read the damn thing so i. read the three books and what struck me was. What I heard women talking about that I knew were saying like. I showed it to my husband, and I said okay. Well I don't want. That s an empire, but to this part that you just read that. I tell you what I'm like. Oh, I want to now come on own and. It's just too dark. It wasn't. It wasn't as bad as anything in wasn't noughties anything in the book but I did find myself saying I. wouldn't we try this? Really was he worried when you said also ongoing issue by the way read for what does that intend eating for that? The beauty of it is I. Put myself on tape at home. I I had the option to upload tape and did it through the cast talent, which is a that's interesting. I've done that before. You know it's funny. People have very mixed feelings about doing that. Because sometimes I feel like it's so much better to be in the room because you don't get any direction. I mean if you're doing if you're going in the completely wrong direction, no one. Back and say that was way over the top two under whatever going so it's kind of like well. We'll see I think this is good, but who knows right, but you have the freedom and the luxury of doing it at your own pace, and not having the idea of seeing like fifteen girls. It looked just like. Waiting chairs. Just only anxiety the traffic the parking all that stuff, so it was really nice to kind of do it. Myself uploaded. Send it to the casting director. And have to leave my house and book a major major motion picture. That's Chris, so there was no callback there. No callback I don I did I said best best auditioned ever. Addition ever and I got a beautiful phone call in an email from James Foley our director and he said you know you just hit it out of the Barkley. We saw you really that's it. That's exactly what you're looking for. And how I know so, what does your husband say? He was really excited. I mean. How can you not I mean once you've found out that I was not going to be naked. Well, that's the thing. You're doing what you're doing why? You're doing that like the best part ever yet. My parents who are very primitive proper were ecstatic, and then even asked me if I was going to be negative or like. Fifty shades like they were so excited like taking the class. We made you. You'RE PERFECT CAIRNS I can't imagine. My Dad is seen the film I don't really want him to see because I can't imagine them sitting through. I'll be honest with you. Have you seen the film I have? We had the premiere two weeks ago? and. It's I really really liked it I. really liked it's steamy. It's got some great sex. It's got beautiful people to look at, but it's different slightly different than the first film that it's lighter. It doesn't take it facetiously. There's an ease between Jamie and Dakota that I felt like wasn't there the first film I don't know if it's so much their characters have. Like more mature at course now they've been together long together. And They were just. I felt like there was a sense of humor about didn't didn't take things so seriously, and they worked together really well, and it was beautiful to watch, and you know there's laughter, and it's light and parts and sexy and other part time you know as we saw a really full theater with so many fans, and to hear the woman like squealing and. Like every time he takes us. Oh, I did it. How Terry? Because he makes me. This one scene when he's working out in his home Jim. Topless and there's a police song playing in the background and he does this strength with strength. He does this some plink? Up on the side of the ball. He's one of those pummel vaults whatever from from. Don. Don't. We all have one. He levitated, pushes himself up completely on its arms, and he's like he's up. He's like clanking in the Air King in the air and look a little higher than his torso. Cgi He can really do really do. He's done it untalkative. He's incredible. He's he's beautiful to look. But I think you're washing I. Find that every time someone mentioned Jamie Start Start blushing. And I really didn't feel that way working on set because. My colleague I didn't think of it in that way, but watching it and rex. I understand it. What was it? What was the mood on that because I know like? For, example you know wartimes, and when you're really heavy things about war or death or whatever you know people on the a lot of times very bright light tried lic. Yes, going on the set so here you. Are you doing these very intense? We're! We're light and we're joking that. Making sex jokes. We're yeah, it was a fun ride. I mean we just had a good time and we all kind of happy to be there and it was. It was like a family. And did you get to meet? L. James Yes Erica is her real name Eric Mitchell and she's wonderful that she could not have been more welcoming and warm and embracing because. Joining a series that's already in motion and they've already done the first film and. Most of the pretty much the same cast in a few dishes in this one. A lot of the same crew, and so when you come into a project that you never know how you're going to be accepted, and whether or not they're going to be standoffish and they've already got their little cliques right right not at all. They could not have been more welcoming and warm, and it really felt like home like it was the family, and we shot in Vancouver predominantly, and so we're all up there together, and it was really it was a time. That is fantastic. It really was really really was so the movies out now the movies out now fantastic open four valentines weekend and hoping we could get the ladies and. And we don't lie. You know what now that you're saying that I remember reading a bunch of people saying they were doing their ballantyne their talent I'd never heard that before i. Knew that didn't exist I. Wish they had it when I was not? One civil miserable at home offshore. Your kids aware that you're in this series, are they? Don't know the full extent of what it entails, but they get it in the too funny to hear them. Talk about it like I remember I was doing I was shooting in Vancouver. And I was face timing. My daughter and I had ordered the sheets. They arrived while I was away and she held them up. She said Mama. Your new sheets came there gray sheets and they're fifty shades of gray. was seven years old. At is hilarious. How do you do that? So how many months were you? Were you back and forth back and forth over a period of maybe four months. Okay, so the whole shoot was about four months. I think we shot there from February? Through beginning of June and then Jamie and Dakota, and maybe one other cast member crew went onto France was to Paris and niece. You're like I. Think my character. I I was late. Sure, you don't know, but they're shooting like honeymoon in. The books yeah, they're shooting this. Anyone who is a fan has been watching the news that they shot these scenes and France. Oh, I can't wait to see you know what I haven't seen the first one. I, have a problem. What I read the book now that I know, but now that I've met. You know I want to see it. But settings what I read a book and I have pictures in my mind like there. Is this all right? So do you know that? That series outlander outlander series, yes. I know of it. There's like one hundred bucks seriously. Look at some point I had to stop reading them because I was book ninety. AD They. Made a TV series out of his is very successful. But my sister and I the main character, the guy had red hair and my son has right here I'm not against I just. Didn't want to picture him as redhead just wasn't in my mind, and so I read the ninety nine books, but then came up the series, and they cast a red headed watch. These British right is I, think so yeah. I think I think I know. Who this very handsome guy, but I just out of the ninety nine bucks. I made him in my mind Brunette. Because you don't like because your son, that's more I. Know just because I'm attracted to Brunettes. Brunette and like Prince Harry. Don't change it for you know like. I didn't totally cute and my son is durable. Way before I had him anyway but I mean at the time I like wanted a picture Mr. Brunettes now I can't watch TV show. 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Remember the Galleria They Galleria where you'd get Zeppelin. Gosh, you know. I we would get down like ten cents each or Oh my God. Do you know only happiness the place with the? Rainbows. and. The colors and everything was rainbows and UNICORNS and they had a karaoke thingy where you went in like I can't remember what it was called, just saying no, it wasn't called that, but you go in there and you went into recording booth and you would sing song and they would put it on cassettes. Cassettes and Then they would play it outside. The plane's final. So we'd go to the the GALLERIA and we sing, and while they were making it, we'd go down and get Zeppelin's, which is like balls the FRY does. Powdered sugar. When you're like twelve year thirty. Metabolism on an issue. Might very, Had An issue. In. My very first job was in that. Spring perfume serious lifer Christmas break. That's hilarious. Oh, my gods, anyway so you grew up in wise. I grew up in white. Plains. I went. Where did your parents do my parents? My mom was a nurse My Dad works was an executive insurance brokerage. They're both Jamaican. The they came from Jamaica in the. Fifties early sixties. Much of that immigrant mentality buckle down and do your work your work to your work. I got into. Yell and on the train. Right up. Sorry the train, the car right up T. l.. My Dad said to me. Don't send you Yale to study drama. Now. Why did he say that? Because in highschool you were all into time. I was like three years old. I wanted to be an actress. Yeah, and. And they didn't have any connections to the business, they didn't have to really get me in there. And I have letters, but I used to mel off to like the head of NBC. Like literally like to. See I'd like to be on different strokes or the facts of life, and then it's like. How do I get a part and I have these form letters that say you know we get our actors agents who submit them to cal chats like that's so soon. Saved them. I didn't I didn't know anything about that. And they let me do like school plays right like that and I did a little bit of community theatre, but don't you think though? Don't you think that there is value to being in school plays absolutely absolutely because whenever anyone asks me about their kids like going auditioning, I always go. Let them be the star school play. Do it later. additioning so much pressure, it's hard. It's a business part that I don't love and thinking about acting like the craft that attracts me and then the people who are drawn to doing theater and school are the fun. People will be fun exercises, and like you make machine. Someone does like this. You do silly. Things and it's like really enjoyable. Happy that that was my introduction to it, so I went to Yale and I studied psychology why psychology was also really big interest of mine at a lot of it for like amusement when I was a kid like Easter read a bunch outside, because it was fascinating to me. Did you minor and drama I didn't? We didn't really might have minors okay? I I didn't do very much. Drum yell at all because I was really intimidated, because people like Jodi foster had been there in Jennifer. beals had been there and good. Meryl Streep go there she did. I think singers. She wanted to Undergrad. She went to definitely and the theatres. Yeah, at the drama school and. I kind of stay away from it I did a couple of student films, but I didn't really do theater until I spent my junior year living in Paris and then I did a lot of theater there because I didn't have the pressure of the Yale thing that's interesting. It's I. DID CL- French Theater added French improvisational theater and you speak French. I do I'm fluent in French, so you were doing it on French. French! Amazing yeah, it was really incredible experience. You can do that do that. If you have the option to study abroad. It's true. You know it's funny I didn't study abroad. I went to Syracuse and I did not go. I was musical theater major, but I didn't go and. I always regretted not doing that. I was scared I, it's scary. It's scary, announced the first semester I was very homesick, and somewhere in January the after I went home for Christmas I wasn't planning to is supposed to be there for the full year, but I bought a ticket and I surprised my parents, I went home, and I went back. It's like you know what this is. A once in a lifetime experience. I'm going to suck everything that I can I'm GonNa Carpe Diem every moment and I did from Lake from January through June July. I was there. It was the best time of my life like I. Really. But I I was I used to intern at Elle magazine in new. York. During my Christmas and summer breaks, and so when I worked when I went to spend my year abroad I got to work for their Paris office and I. It was a dream like I was the only one going to classes by like nine to eleven, and then going to roar fashion shows like I. I went to the Schnell show and there's an. glaringly. All these things that were just. Surreal in. Bula, what a great experience was! It was unreal like I. Just get like I was young and just expose all of that, and it was really incredible. It's what I love hearing that because I think it took me a long time I wasn't there. I was very confident in high school, and then I lost it a bit in College I. Get it back till. I graduated college or the end of college. I would say. And I think a lot of people go through that kind, but it's such a great message. What you're saying is because you really do you do need to seize the day. You do need to take those opportunities because you'll never look back and say Oh, I wish I hadn't tried that. You will look back and say I'm sorry. I didn't do that. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Okay, so you come back and you graduate Yale Graduate Yale. Come Back My. Then? My parents say so. What about law school? Because they didn't think. Degree was enough they're. They're very much into education. And the plan was I was going to go to med school, law, school, or business, school and I. Don't like blood and I'm not good at math so school that was. And I made a deal with my dad that I wanted to. Study acting. I'll take the set if I can pursue acting in New York and I was doing that simultaneously I started a company with a girlfriend of mine and we were managing a singing group. I was. I was in I was in drama school, and doing a little writing on the side like I was doing it I was juggling everything and in law school, and then law school started by Thomas. Law School I was just law school and. The acting I did independent film that got picked up by Miramax, the very first week of law school. The Toronto Film Festival. Cold, have plenty, and we shot it for like almost no money and I love hearing that I mean literally shut it I think I can say now because it was so long like fifty thousand dollars. Like he had been took a mortgage on his mom's house red small mortgage. The director. And we got picked up by Miramax. We went to Sundance. It was an incredible ride, and I was in my first boss. Could you call your diabetic show I'm thinking? Maybe not finishing. Because one movie does not occur make. So I finished, and I took the Bar New York and then I moved out to la I haven't looked back except to pay my dues every two years. Just in case I need to go back. That's so what is when you have the backup plan. You never need it. We'll yes so far so I'm not. I find interesting. Is that you know I? Think because I look at my husband and I'm looking at you and I'm hearing your story and I hear about people who? What I find fascinating is like. I'll tell us my husband. I for example he sells. TV shows okay at because it's not his business right because he doesn't think twice about sending an email to the president just like you to. Be You know why because he's a doctor and he really has nothing to lose and who cares if it was her his. Sole perfection he'd be reading over the email and strategizing and don't want to upset anyone and I know he doesn't care. He'll just send the emails we'll make. The meeting will go and do his thing and he doesn't overthinking. And I. Look at you and I'm saying wow. You're uber talented over bright beautiful. I mean you have your the entire package? But here you go to Yale you go to Columbia. You have your law degree. and I wonder if that's what allows you to make those bold choices, because I wish we all could just operate like that to make those. Choices it even if we didn't have the rack up. I definitely think things think that's part of my problem and I always want to have options and I. think that's why, but options are good. It is they are. They are for sure, but I feel like I. Throughout my life, I've kind of I. Don't want to. Cut off the I was trying to do everything what what's interesting to me? I want to write. I want to explore the music because I wanted to be an actress. I Want I wish you'd get this low degree. In case, I decided to run for office like all these. I know you're laughing. By the way. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing because I get it. I see it I'll through. I got hit Ronald. Reagan was an actor and became president I figured. You know honey I think. If history recent history has taught us anything, it's that he will anything. Anything is possible in this life, so I don't care what your politics are. If this year has taught you anything, it means, you can achieve anything anyone listening out there. You realize you can achieve anything. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Is that insane anyway? No politics. Okay, so maybe we're running for office. Maybe. I think. I decided a few years back. I was going to let that one go. Don't you never know? Never say. Never say never entirely I just kind of. Really depressed by what was going on in Washington and so kind of let it slide, but who knows who knows never know the moment may come for you to step up. He'll have to log. Didn't know I'm sure you're gonNA CIANCI military somewhere now. Okay, maybe put that on the list or play or just, NCIS. It's like Hasselhoff. My husband was actually in the army for five years. Oh there you go here's. Your husband and the business. He is the ten tenuously he he runs A. HE HAS A. Casting software company Oh, okay, so you know what that's great because that means. He understands the business, but he's not. An. Too Few project city doesn't let he's reluctant to call himself producer because it he's calls. His hobby is producing. Because he has this other job exactly what I'm saying? That's what makes it so cool to me. Is that to me having this? Let's call it the the day job. Right allows you to go forth and do these things like you. You had the confidence to write a novel right. Congratulations very much. Thank you. That's coming out. That's coming out in June June. My husband I wrote a book last year. I understand was released last year I never thought I'd write a book. I did not go to gail. Circa just want you to know. School no I'm talking, but I'm saying you know. I never thought I would do something like that. It is such a fascinating process. What did you what made you write about? And also? By the way the book is sexy sexy. Sexy. It's funny because. She's so beautiful, but you're dressed like conservative and pretty. Like girl next door. Hussy. The Hussy novels, and I'm just saying there could be a closet freak situation here. Really, a closet freak situation. Maybe that's what made the closet I mean that in the best way. Is there any other way? Okay! Tell me how you came up with the. I came up with the novel I was. The stories about A. Thirty, nine year, old woman who is divorced, she owns an art gallery here in Los Angeles. She's got a relationship with her husband. She got a good relationship with her daughter whose twelve years old. The daughter is obsessed with this British boy band, and the mother takes daughter to a concert and meet and greet with the band, and meets them, and one of the guys in the band falls for the mom and he's twenty. and. Embark on this relationship that becomes. It's really genuine. Emotional love story I mean they fall in love, and despite all odds, and it's really kind of I wanted to take a look at what it was to be a woman. Approaching Middle Age and hearing that like you're no longer viable or sexually attractive. What that means when? We are and we still we're still these full viable, sexually active human beings, and I wanted to kind of explore that like all the. The! Social conditions that we we've been taught to believe about women and relationships so often we see these may December listen revert with the older man younger woman, never rarely see something with an older woman and it kind of wanted to. Also explore what it's not stay in these boxes like we put. We become moms, and just moms or working MOMS, or whatever it is, and I wanted to explore and discover what it is to go beyond that and to kind of see ourselves as multi, dimensional and layered and complex and I did it also with A. Nod To what it is to be a celebrity today in how the effects of social media. Can. Really. Negative negatively affect celebrities in what I think. People have this idea of what it is to be famous, and they put on this pedestal. Expect their lives to be glamorous, but you don't realize. What the dark side is, it's so true and especially with the social media. I joke that before I had my kids like in the year, Gimmel you know we didn't have social media's right, but would say oh, like your show or the see tv guy you know that? And that was in was it? Was it he or click on entertainment, tonight or something like that? But now it's just all access, and it can be intrusive I. Mean if you're if you're interact with your fans in years there on twitter instagram whatever you get that that vacant reach out and touch you in ways that they couldn't before. They can keep track of you. They know where you are it depending on how much of that you put out there? They can they with laments that are can be seething. Can Affect your self esteem if you're not prepared for if you don't have thick skin, which most of us. Do not exactly I think a lot of people get into whatever it is to get into in this business. Whether it's acting or writing. Or not writing I'm sorry, acting or producing music or art in some way. Because they love the art of it or the craft of it, and they're good at it and they thrive, and they're not necessarily. For all the the other attention things that come with it. Like if you're someone like at Sharon, says watching truth and smart, and I love Ed Sheeran. He's brilliant. He's obviously a musical genius. Right and if you've ever seen before, but he's outstanding, not live, but I've seen clips. It's incredible what he can do with a microphone and a guitar and a loop machine. He like loops himself in place, but anyway, but I'm saying. Is that kind of person and you're super talented? You might not be the person who wants to go out there. In front of hundreds, thousands of people and do talk shows and this and that above love but. Because you're so talented that eventually that you're going to grow. Vines you and if you're a private person that can be really. Debilitating think some people are better at managing it than others and I do believe. Of. All I think there's an age thing because I think when you're younger. You don't sort of think about the ramifications of writing everything out there. I think as we get a little bit older. you start thinking about it especially for those that have kids because that's a whole thing, too. I think that there have been some couples and families that have done it better than others may, whether it's intentionally or not. I'm not saying I always do it right either but. You, know what to reveal to public, and what not tearing right how to keep them protected as much as you can and not in the limelight. So I kind of wanted to explore all of that and do it in a sexy way. UNSEXY WH-. Say. We come up with this idea and you tell your husband Excel. Hey Listen I. got the best idea writing this book, and so she falls in love with the twenty and he goes. I will tell you. How about is that I was up late One night surfing youtube and watching music videos, and my husband was away in business on New York. Way On business. New York and the kids were fast asleep, and I came across a video with this young singer, who was absolutely beautiful, but look to be about twenty years old and I spent like an hour research. Like who is this person and Blah Blah Blah? And what does he do whereas? and. Discover that he was half my age and when my husband came back from work from his trip, I found this guy. He's twenty I'm thinking about leaving you in the two kids just running off. Would you do if I? As a joke obviously and he just floating it out there. And he was like you're crazy. But that would make a really good book. So it was his idea, it was. Kind of together like he had like the the gym of an I just started thinking about thinking about all the things I could explore like writing that like women's issues and. Ideas about like you know how we. Really! Wanted to. Become invisible at a certain age in an fighting against it and pushing back in like all the media that says that you're you. Lose your value after a certain age and. I cannot stand that no me neither I. Actually when we talk about this lot is that I feel like you know people say Oh, I hear women's saying I wish I were twenty. Some doubt right I'm so happy to be out of those twenty thirties I really am because I feel like you start finding yourself. You Start Finding yourself better voice. You know who you. You are know what you want. You know what you can put up with them. What you what you can put up with what's important and I think we all start getting bolder at a certain age like we were talking before. You know Saddam's were bold, because we've got back right whatever it is, you know it's just like a hobby, so we can be bald. As, we get older. We get bolder rate because why not? Why be this timid little on? You. have to to lose exactly exactly. So we come into our voices, as as we get older and I think there's something really. Sexy about a confident, mature, sophisticated woman I agree. Let me. Ask you this as a mom. You balance a lot of things you have a husband. You earn actress. You write a book you. Do you manage this? You do that I. Mean you do a lot of things? How how do you strike that balance because I? Think that's something that we're all striving for I. Don't sleep very much. I really don't. I, don't see nearly as much as I. Should I have a great husband who? Takes his father all very seriously and puts in a lot of time and work with the kids as well so I don't feel like I'm alone in that. But I think I think when we were having kids. We kind of knew that we wanted them to fit in our lives as opposed to us. Regional lives around them. That's what carries, says like I never. That kid like Oh, it's twelve o'clock. We have to be home for him to take the NAP. It's like you fall asleep where we like. Maybe that's not great, but that's who we were and I. Feel like it makes it easier. Good more accommodating now if you travel or for away from home in, it's getting close to their bedtime. They're not like I need a love to be curled up whatever it's like they'll put up with it and just kind of like deal. They will they. Will they roll this? The younger one feel like she was like okay I'll just fit in where I can hear. My fourth, she's like. Four yeah, we didn't even baby proved for her just like five eleven. At this rate like there's the stairs, don't go down. Our be, a bad idea. That's a knife. Even now I've become like that. Mom. Is it from? Matilda is it Mathilde the movie? I know it's. Also? Matilda where she would say if you stick your finger in the light socket, you're GONNA get. Electrocuted at. Different. Remember. The MOM would give it the consequences everything. Yes, you don't have talked to them. It wasn't Mathilde. My Gosh, I don't know I. Don't think of it, but anyway. That's what I do cocoa sex. Don't touch that you'll get electrocuted and then you die. It was. March, she's like okay. I guess touching. Right I definitely. Do that my daughter was little. I didn't have to put the locks on the kitchen cabinet the the. Well, it's the same thing with having kids. Your first kid and everything is padded. Totally. There's a quarter or Whatever it is everything's. Get more comfortable, and that's the same with like. That's why I love what you're saying about. Impairing powering women, especially as we get older because it's true, we get older. We get more confident and we don't need to put pads on the. Exactly and then I. Just kind of figured I'd work around. We worked together like I. Bring my laptop anywhere and if I'm driving my kid to gymnastics or Waterville Valley. Whatever I've got my computer with me. I can sit in the car while he or she is in practice. I can sit in their waiting area, and and right like I. I was doing at all. Do you feel guilty when you're when you have to be away? Yes, but not so much for them as for my husband because he picks up the front of the. That's interesting. Yeah, and I. Don't I think I. Think it's good that they see me working I, agree I think it's good. They'd know that I'm doing something that I love to do. And I followed my dream, and I pursued it I. Think and I I'm good role model in that way like I have to go and do this. It's something I've I've worked really hard for. This is an achievement and I'm going to this, and also it's going to bring money so that we can. You can continue to go to your school and we're close in gone vacation or whatever, and that mom's contributor I think that's great. Yeah, so I. Don't I don't feel guilty about. I don't think ever felt because even. When. They're really tiny. Bring them with me, but from the time that. Four or five they they got it. They understood so. What do you do when you're home to do anything specific to counteract the time that you're? The primary chauffeur. We spend a Lotta time in the car. And I'm the one like for most picks them up from school and takes them to their respective activities or whatever it is. Yeah, I'm I'm with them all the time. I think the beauty of acting as it. Unless you're on, TV show, it's one thing, but if you're with the TV show, you have these high lots of Briggs yeah, but if you're doing films, you can be really on and working ridiculous hours or on location in far away, but you have so much downtime that you can be a fulltime mom like in those gaps and I was a fulltime on like I took them as babies. They went to mommy me. Classes and music classes, Jim and dance, and this and that and I was the one taking them everywhere. So you just make it work. You have to. And I. Don't think they're any really rules. You just figure out what works for your family. We're experts for you. Just kind of do what you can what you can't do, you can't do. Not. Obsessive the fact that you can't be everything that's hard for a lot of people to do though I, mean even myself. I have to say I'll go. Take the kids somewhere for a week. And you know twenty four right when we come back in the next day, you know I have a meeting. Some gone for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Someone else picks school. I feel terrible. You can't I know I've tried to get better about that, but I do feel bad about that, but I understand I understand but I. I don't I. Try not to. I used to feel guilty about things like I'll just go to lunch with my girlfriends like something like that I'll feel funny. I don't feel bad about that. Isn't that weird? I don't feel bad about. Because I. Don't do it very often right, you know. I feel guilty by do something like that in the middle of the day, I, don't mind going out in the evening with my girlfriend right, but if I do something in the middle of the day when I feel like I could be doing something that reductive. Should be right. To need stuff like that. You need connections. You need lack. Self cater glass of champagne at lunch to. Yesterday you. Valentine's. was. Oh, that's all right, so what is next for you? the book is coming out and coming out I'm doing a lot of promotion for that. We've got fifty shades. If the idea of you of you June thirteen Ken it's available now for preorder on Amazon and noble in your local Indie, bookstores. June thirteenth comes out. And fifty shades darker shades darker is out now and then fifty shades freed comes up next Valentine's. How did you already film the film them? Simultaneously, which is why we're up in Vancouver forever, we shut both films simultaneously. That's the best ever. Yeah, you've got two years worth of content I know. I know it's great. It's great food that allow you to chill and go good. I don't have to get a job so quick. I. There's not as much pressure. Yeah, and I've got a couple of indie films in the work, so they're waiting for distribution and we'll see where they end up, but I'm not. I don't feel the pressure. I feel pressure right now for writing the next book. That's where the pressure. That's fantastic. Well, I wish you the best of luck. Much movies already big hit and I'm sure it's just GONNA continue to I. Hope so and I am so glad UK. High. Give everyone your social media Hanbo. It's Robin Lee. Our Ob I. N., N. E. L. E. AT at Robin Lee on twitter. On instagram on facebook. It's the Robin Lee l fancy. Pinterest is at Robin Lee and pinterest account. I don't know how to do that. I've I'd good read page and I think he just look Robin. Leigh and I'm there all right very good? Thank you so much very very much for having me. Back that heather dubrow world. What do we have for Dear Heather? Okay? Here is a question from a net in Sacramento. Dear Heather I ordered the concept beauty for problematic skin for my roommate who has acne? It's cleared our skin so well reduced. Your acne got dark spots, and her skin looks bright and clear. How ever she has breakouts after she wears foundation. Do you have any suggestions on the best foundation for your problematic skin? Thanks love you. Oh so sweet and I'm so glad you're facing clearing up, so that's the thing. Is that once? You find something especially sensitive skin. When you find something that works, you have to stick with it. which is hard when they discontinued things? That's what always happens to me. You really just need to experiment with different foundations until you find when type oiler genetic I mean I would go with. Something that's very very basic. That doesn't have a lot of perfumes would do use. Use Ours. I shouldn't even be using not for my skin. Why do you think it's too thick? I think it's too thick, and you have to be very very regiments to taking it fully off 'cause. Sometimes you know if you're tired at night, and you kind of have can't do that. You're always not yet fully take it out, but yeah, you should always wash your skin, so that's a good point. Though make sure you're really clean off at night, those thick foundation, but if you're using the console beauty, you're probably using our corrective. Really good ineffective taking makeup off, so that shouldn't be the problem, so the question is. Are You clogging your pores I? Guess my question is. When are you seeing the breakouts because if you're seeing the breakouts at the end of the day, maybe this makeup is clogging. Your port tinted more strikes I. do like those I mean you know what I use is I use the cream from Kate Somerville? Called Luma Kate. Think it's called and it's nice because it's light and it's got SPF in it I really like that and I. Don't find it. Poor clogging so I try to look for something. That's a lighter. Coverage and make sure you're not overpowering. That can clog your pores to and look at the end of the day. The bottom line is if you don't have to wear makeup, don't. So when I'm home and I'm just running errands and I'm around with the kids. I don't wear makeup. Let your skin breathe. Don't give it an opportunity. Get clogged, but when you do find something, stick with it, you may want to just by a couple things and try them out, but what you do have to do is give it a chance because I. Know My skin so sensitive that if I use a new shampoo, my face will break out, but if I keep using it sometimes, it gets used to. And, then it stops breaking out, so I'm sorry to say there's no one answer for this. You'RE GONNA have to experiment a bit. Here's Samantha from Orlando Florida Your Heather I love champagne and wine, and like to drink daily. Love you. I'm wondering how often and how much you drink I'm trying to lose a few pounds and I'm pretty fit, but I'm afraid that drinking is plateauing me from my goal. Weight I'd rather not give drinking, but I'm willing to cut back if I think it's hindering my weight loss, thank you in advance, suggestions and opinion. You're such an inspiration so sweet, thank you. Well Look I you know weight loss is very clearly about calories in. And spending energy out, so it's income and outgo that that's just the algorithm. There's nothing you can do about that me. Personally I'd rather have. A glass of champagne at night, then a cookie, right or both together. But if I had to choose a go with the champagne probably. Pick your poison you do have to. It's all about balance I mean doctors say? No more than two and no less than a day's good for your heart, so that's probably a good guideline to us as far as how much I drink next question. No, but seriously it is income outgo, so if you WANNA have that glass of wine or the. Champagne you WANNA look for the lowest calorie and lowest sugar. So and pain less sugar in it. Cocktails cocktails drinker. You want to drink. Vodka Soda with a little splash of something or squeeze of Lemon or lime. That's very low calorie and you know. I like to Tequila and soda with a Little Tahitian. That's my favorite. Okay. Here's the last one from now I need a drink. Jordan in Brooklyn Dear Heather absolutely love your show. Even though I'm sad, he won't be returning to Rha I'm excited to hear about your new projects. Coming up. My thirtieth birthday is coming up each and I would like to by myself. Special gift I'm willing to spend up two thousand dollars and want something classic. That is more of an investment piece and can keep forever any thoughts side note that I don't want anything Chanel sorry I know you love that. You know what I think is sort of classic and beautiful and fun which I love and I. Wear it all the time. I have from tiffany. I have a key. On a chain, they a whole collection of keys, they come and silver, white gold, yellow gold rose gold, and all different sizes. They I mean they have super expensive ones with diamonds, and this and that, but I have just a really plain yellow gold key on and I put it. You can choose your length of the chain and I put mine on a super long chain. Actually I'm wearing it if you look at my instagram at Heather, dubrow when I was in Kabo. With my swimsuit. Someone asked me if it was a cross. Because it kind of looks like that in the picture, but what I love about it is, it's classic, and you can absolutely wear Dressy, and you can wear casual. You heard obviously with the beginning at the Pool I love those keys, and it's tiffany. WHO DOESN'T WANNA BLUE-BOX? Love it and how the birthday that's exciting, and you know what I comes to special things like that. I would rather me personally. I would always rather have like jewelry or an item or some kind of like. I don't know like the Crystal Buddha you bought me from. Yeah. I mean love that. Because that's something you're going to have four ever. If you buy hearst I. Mean you can keep it forever, but will you wear it forever? We'll get worn out. I don't know I. Just like an object. Yes, cool, thank you all so much for listening. People have been asking me on instagram when we are going to be back at Yvonne, so you can load up on your products. That's going to be March ninth tenth and Eleventh. We'll be back in Ivine with console beauty with great kids and great deals. Don't forget to watch my youtube channel. HEATHERS CLOSET ON YOUTUBE AND We love hearing from you. Guys who don't forget to leave us five star reviews on itunes and we will see you next week. Thank you so much for listening to. World download new episodes every Thursday and Friday on podcast one the podcast, one APP or Apple PODCASTS, employees make sure to subscribe to the show and leave a lovely five star rating Kodak Apple podcasts and CEO Much you love. How did you rose world see next week?
Ryan Long, Alan Tudyk, and We're Gonna Cut That
"Hey guys it's big cat again. You're probably sick of hearing my voice at the start of every podcasts. Will i have something for you if you go and watch rough and rowdy thirteen friday february fifth. Jose can sake over billy football. I will stop doing these and you can play on the play barstool app you can pick. Who wins with a cash prize rough and rowdy thirteen february fifth. Billy football varsovie can saco by our dot com. Go do it. Listen if you have like a happy life in a happy family great. You're you're not listening you haven't been for about seven years. It's another edition. A kfc radio on the barstool sports network here parcel. Sports led by the man now known as paper hands. That paper hands bitch. Dave portnoy couldn't even hold the line for like two days. Why did he sell. Because he's a paper hands. Some men have diamond hands. Some have paper day. Jews paper page views is a soft little bitch. I just learned all of these terms moments ago and they all now my favorite words in the english language bay brands and diamond hands. They've wall street's got great memes. Great lake terms and great. Everything i think is ryan long on this episode. Yeah objectively the wall. People are very funny. Oh it's hilarious. The hedge fund man. I'm pro hedge fund. I think i'm also keep you're not diamond hand. Just you got fat sausa- chance i'm dumb head. I don't know. I haven't tried really your diamonds because you'll just hold the for. Not you're not dying hands. Like i'll i'll like all weather the storm you're just like let me know when the storms killed me right exactly. Yeah yeah your diamond diamond head to toe indestructible in for also very distraught right. You are parents death star. There's one little we'll show the whole thing with the rest of it is pretty pretty forty two. Yeah man i mean wall street bets. What sucks for this. Well you you were the right one. You began to give me like. Yeah obviously what did you got it right. If you're getting wrong will you will obviously be right when you said no this morning. Type texted cayetano for kano. W i said like now is like we don't have to comment no kano w so. Don't give me that. Look like yeah. Of course i was the right one anyway. Paper has no is bad the only other time. That really fucked me up. I thought i was getting really stupid. Was when i said seinfeld and i wrote sig n what's it. This was like two thousand twelve when i was blogging. And i think that's that was the first time i felt. That was the first time i realized i was. That was the first time people were like you know. Are you worried about like this job. And you're not going to be commuting and going to an office and talking and interacting and learning and did the dumb you know and i was like earning. Yeah learning. And that's what i was. I was kinda like so. But then after just like ten thousand blogs at row. I wrote seinfeld and i was like now. I probably would have written like at deloitte. But the point was you realized. Yeah i was like oh and then hamilton. The hamilton island fiasco is really bad. To this is the three like dumbest one was in my life. The hamilton island. I also i get you. Get a lotta shit for that. I'm really understand is pretty bad just like there would. I would know of an island. Like very close to america in the in the atlantic that was called him exist shot. I mean i remember thinking. They're losing their islands. Down the eastern seaboard. I haven't heard of. I don't think there are in the caribbean. Yes but like reviewed is also. I think these are there. I don't think there are many. I bet there's an island off of the outer banks area. There's islands don't remember. That is heard of the netflix show. Geography not are strong. Like can we actually can you. Can you islands on the eastern seaboard to john so dumb. We can't even google i. I wanna see how. Because i'm going to be right like i'm going to be right about. I feel like if there was a place that you could vacation to. We would know more about them. Nope i'm wrong. Jekyll island never heard of it. Are they okay. We'll see like. I know fire island like go to that. I'll go to that. Jekyll island if that is stocks. That joke will make sense in about an hour ryan logs on the show today. It's very funny. That doesn't look like a real island jekyll that looks like. That's that's where they buried dead people and stuff. I was gonna say it's in the uae. New georgia new georgia see of course there on island. This is why i was always on you plenty. It wouldn't be of hamilton. Nobody knew the fucking capital of bermuda was fucking hamilton. Until i did it so everyone can fuck off but yeah no was tough one was like i mean i'm gonna give you shit for it but whatever happens all of the dumb language. It's a dumb land. Could you imagine learning this language english. Yeah and then being like you idiot. You said no instead of known they like. Well fuck you have two words like that. Well that's why i get mad at fucking europeans all. I'm constantly mad at european about me. We speak four languages. They're all the same goddamn fucking land a little bit of an accent and so this is a slightly go. I speak portuguese. If you if you speak spanish and italian and portuguese and spanish you still lying right. That's all one like one fucking linguine language. You got their french. And german bitches was bush was. What's what's portuguese braggadocious. You're out a real back to paper hands for noye. Oh yeah right that. That paper hands bitch goes on a media tour like all week long. It's a revolution hold the line. Amc game stop nokia doj coin. We're going to change. The world goes on with chris. Cuomo like eight hours before and was like i wanna be on the joke and it was actually a very funny interview christie. Chris cuomo is like dave dave flat out said like he's he's off terrible investment. Chris cuomo like so. Why are you doing. And dave goes. I want to do the means and chris cuomo just goes. Turns is like a dog okay. I don't know about that one. See daizo hundred percent right. Oh yeah cuomo dan. Don't get the joke right dave's right but then he sold to the morning. Well dave's wrong there so in that. So here's the thing. He lost seven hundred k the got out cut his losses down seven hundred k so on the one hand. You can't be like. He's one of the the billionaires playing us fucking lost money on the other hand dave. Losing seven hundred k's like he'll do that on the first half over of a fucking ten basketball game you know. Like i can't believe he would give up the material and the persona of being like the the leader of the revolution for seven hundred k at the money he makes now but the on the third hand. Isn't it the most dave thing ever to be like. Oh yeah. I don't care about us you know like oh you thought i don't care what wall street went right. It says about me. Oh i'm i'm a gambler. I i gotta get back to gambling so not a gambler anymore. I guess how much yes that's been for about a year right in this world is kind of like what have you done for me lately. You know. you can't be like. Oh i used to blog. It's ten years you know you're the pizza guy and finance guy davis weeds about finance far more. He's getting murdered every time he does so really like ratio to hell and back people like again kind of funny things. This is the first time he's ever been on the wrong side with people who are funny. Who get usually. He's getting harassed by you. Know flu check marks and justice warriors all cliches. Where it's like okay. I don't care you're not my people anyway but these are like the funny wall street guys. These are like the mean guys. These are is wall street bets on wall street. Best put up on on their on their read page paper hands bitch like fuck this guy down with him. I was listening to tim. Dillon had like the most me. It was ridiculous. He was like yes. I'm the i'm the lord of wall street debt ass honest he gets the most read at karma. He's just got like fire. Memes puts up like really good guests him. They'll enough snow yet. He had him on his show and they were just like he was just like. Yeah like we're all like you know like fuck that guy don't with them interesting than most days but they also were. It was actually very interesting interview. I it's honest patriotic regular ship but they were. He was liking like they hate that elon. Musk has co signed it and that is talking about it. And it's it's like when you're band goes pop. They're like this isn't funny more like they're read it there pages up to seven and a half million people now but it had like two million and so all these new people like they don't get it like he was like we used to crush everyone elon. Musk get jeff. Bezos could get it. We had no messiah. We had no nothing except like just trash everybody. And now it's like now netflix's making the movie and in the news. Tara terrible like if they if they can stop that like they should he was like. Yeah shiloh buffalo. Play one of the guys wasn t know. Oh that was actually true. Yeah oh yeah so even worse. I thought that's how bad i that's how bad that hiring is. The dude said child buff. And tim said noah's in tino. I thought that was like a joke. Tim's picking the worst personnel literally. That's the last person in hollywood. Is you do that. he's terrible. I let people still like him. He was he was entertaining. I hated the fucking movie he did. What was that called to. All the girls one that that that that was shows cock then he got leaked all right making a girl squirt. Yeah yeah yeah hammer cockpit. So he's been doing. I would trade with him. In how many people in the world isn't you betrayed. Dick's with most. Like if i had to thanos now i if you had a fan of snap and you were going to get a new dick from a person in the population. It's going to be like a fifty percent sort of thing like that snap like it could be. You know you might get like a tiny asian guy you might get a hammer would you. Would you run that risk. Absolutely not you would. Just stay old staying exactly where i am. Yeah and it's actually. Because exactly so in china i i bet where you are. It's like i think a lot. Like i've been in the top five in physical fitness in the world because there's so many fat grow people like i get what you're saying but that's not true. I've been i'm top five percent. Okay there four people in this room better shape right now right now. Why you wearing a baggy sweatshirt right now. You should be topless. Tastic was very carefully curate. Apparently apparently we all did everybody comment on john. Clearly he was looking for him. Speaking of your body not only is it. Because you're hitting the gym but you're still all night hellofresh kick. I mean. I'm i'm never going to be off. Hellofresh get yeah it is. It's not a kick. it's a lifestyle but it is funny. It's like it feels like something that you're like. Oh have you tried it. It's like have. I tried cooking. Dinner is like yeah. We should all do this every single day forever. I love calling. My mom and i do regularly. I think we've talked about actually with my dad discovered water. I discovered cooking food right. And as a mom i like. I had so much more money. Oh my god it's not spending one hundred dollars every day on fuck. She's yeah no. I under buying food and cooking is far cheaper if you better. If you cut out uber's and an overeats you'll have like double your money. Most of us like the real. I was thinking like maybe once you take a vacation and you drop like a big chunk of change but the rest of us. The normal people you're only expenses are like entertainment which is really not happening right now. food and travel. You know so. If you cut out you'll be saving a lot of money right now. Yeah right over job if all biden like to grant i think when you get that money go sign up at hellofresh. Use the promo code ten. Kfc go to hellofresh dot com slash. Ten kfc and use the code. Ten kfc biden will give you this handout. I'll give you this this this and this handling actually think about it. I do spend about at least fifty dollars. Every order probably closer to one hundred. I also ordered last night. I didn't i ordered last night. And the from two places bumped into each other Really that's also great. Tommy all but it is like ten ten free meals which is like a five hundred thousand dollar deal right. It's incredibly is program based twenty free meals right because like doubled a to at least a thousand dollars. Maybe two thousand dollars. We're giving you right now. It's crazy isn't sane when you think about this is a one thousand dollar promo code if you live in the city and eat and you eat food. Do you eat food. Do you want to save a thousand dollars. Doing it go to hellofresh dot com slash ten. Kfc use the code ten kfc. It's america's number one meal kit. It's easy to to cook. Everything's pre packaged. And pre portioned comes with the recipe a wild menu with tons of different choices with like exotic foods basic foods They switch it up all the time. So you never get bored with it. And you'll save all that money so go to hellofresh dot com slash ten kfc and use code ten kfc for ten free meals including free shipping. You're probably right though like my thing with my dick is like anything in life. I'm never looking. It'd be the best you know. No so why. Would i like my dick. I've never complained dick that i know that's all i've faced. Which is all. I care girls afterwards. That dick is small again. Li you can tell me that like my dick socks like the sex wasn't good fine but the actual dick. I don't think anybody's ever said to smaller. It's lame and i think if they are they're probably being spiteful. I don't know who wasn't mad at me. I've never had someone who likes me be like if we're being honest it's pretty it's pretty late really mean thing for a person who likes you so bad so bad imagine. The girl you were dating was like yeah. It's not like below average. Stick the biggest view as a person. Oh man relationship over but so why would i. Why would i risk something. That i've literally never gotten a complaint on your arms right. Yeah but first of all. I love this question. How do no no had a nice dick and we're on wall street shit. Let's get back to radio. I was actually very happy. With the get your. Let's go man. I think i think i was. I would bet. I am. So maybe i'm not in the top five percent of physical fitness. But i would bet my physical fitness percentage and my dick percentage are right around the Interesting so if you just of like you are with your dick. You know as you are. What your record says you are what you tickets. I bet you fucking shocked. I bet you if you have a horrible horrible and talking you probably have bad self esteem and you probably get fat. Everybody who's really fateh. Tiny dick did you know. And that's why he's like the one. I had looking at porn in middle school. You must be kidding. We were girls. Dot com with ezekiel guy. He's a very it. Looked like a looked like a website that was created in grand theft. Auto vice city. Just i'm certain looking. And this was a factor. I fucking a woman's mouth. And i was looking at it with a friend. A friend was sitting. Yeah family computer doing it. Wa- it wasn't even like we weren't watching porn. We're looking at pictures of naked right. This is a different thing put. It was like watching porn. Wasn't a thing yet 'cause modems to slow so is looking at naked pictures of people and it was a bad guy fucking girls mouth and i was like holy shit. His dick is huge and my friend without skipping a beat was like well yeah. That's what fat people have. Honestly to this day. I don't know i know that's wrong. I get fat to make sense logically right. Where else would all rates go. Well what really makes. That's your bodies like we can't possibly put any more in the love handles dick. There's girls dot com. It's not at all what the website used to even worse. Oh no it was like a highlighter. Neon purple girls die Yeah why year the archive. I would guess this is probably between four and six assists girls like pink world. When i used to go to pink world dot com and it was just. It was a pink background. And blue hyper links. We are despicable. You know what do you do. You know we've just thought the potty. I know what i what i did the other day on. Fucking one minute man. I dropped a dog far dot com reference. John the video. God four million views and i said dog dot com. I said the last time. I saw a little blonde. Go up against the black guy like that. On four million views skip passes gaz fucking daiki flied today the good stuff. Just an absolutely deplorable url. I still don't even understand it to be honest. Despicable dot com as hundred pound women. Getting fucked by twelve men with twelve and penises. And it's and it's not the most like offensive pass the name part dot com as women taking baths of come with the name. The url is more using. That was just like well. We let them know that they're going to get into some shit here gonna get it you know you know. There's just a couple of guys are like yeah. We're going to have black. Is white girls. Like a dog farley. The big can we talk about this. They got away his blows up. It's just a bunch of black guys. It's like it's like sticking with barstools boards. We clearly don't talk about sports at all. Can we have the most racist thing into the goddamn world that there are born stars who have higher rates for fucking non white people that is insane sane or some. Just won't do it all together just like nope not gonna do. It would ruin my brand if i mean that is. That's a joke. That's just what would it fucking facts. And i think they have like. They're really like pushing that away. As porn got more mainstream. Like you're not allowed to do that and shit. But i also don't think you can make somebody you don't wanna fuck so like they. Some people have rules. That's what we go right. come. But i mean god. Damn that is deeply rooted inherent racism. You know what is also funny. Is that you know black. I asked kevin knowing the full in. Hey have you heard of black. Yeah yeah yeah no see. That's the other thing too is like when they're like dot com started by a white guy. It's like all things. There's a white man at the top you know there's a white millionaire cashing in ruin my brand. I don't think so. I guess it depends on what you want. But oh my you'll get your views. Get your views. That's for certain. There's always a point in time where you just wanna see that anyway. My dick sign top. five top. three percent dick Who was it somebody recently. I think it was. I think it was on original thoughts somewhere five ten twelve and a half editor that at least half the people definitely better than half. I mean you gotta think again like body types you know. There are a lot of fat like a lot of people were way out of the new. There are people who have just. There's a lot of people way fatter than you. Yes but like you said it like you know your exceptionally fat fat or but you know saying there are so many levels to fact. Yes so yeah you're on you're in shape right now so we can't the fat jokes not possible right now week. Be back right now. I can't do in one week. Vatican but there's so many levels to fat there's also so many levels too bad dick where it's like. You gotta realize you gotta start at like one inch. There are people at the micro penises and then there are people with two inches and the three hundred four is much smaller. Yes so like you know. It's like. I guess technically has to be an intrigue because this is an inch is what. I've learned your thumb thumb an inch. See you say that and then like you telling me that shacks thumb knuckles the same as mine. Talk about big dicks. Now that guy just logically good point. Everything has to be big right now. I think i'm thinking back to our conversation earlier about the carbohydrates. Our conversation and i was thinking back to my idiotic point an hour ago. Yeah so everything on your body gets fatter. Yes does your penis not. I think it's kind like you know you know like your nose. The separation of church and state your nose stops growing except for yours. Your ears stop growing tension. There are certain that. Just stop. And i think you dicks one of them make it a little fatter though. It seems unfair to make the biggest thing about it. If you if you if you had a fat dick. I probably wouldn't lose weight like girls. I'm keeping this fucking south street to my coffee for real puck and showed me run around with some girth eight crispy creams that. There'd be people everywhere your dick. That's why that's proof right there in the existence of god. There is a great architect because he was like. I'm sure disagree. I'm sure he did that. Visiting zaidi he's a terrible architect fine but we'll talk about that shortly but like i'm sure like you know maybe adam and eve and it was like. Oh well he's getting so fuck fat because addict just keeps getting bigger. We can't have that like are we gonna make your dick separate your dick wait will be separate from the rest of your body weight because otherwise it'd be chaos just fat people everywhere. Looking for big dicks. I see the question is another apathetic. How much weight would you put on. If like every ten pounds gave you an inch. dick no twenty pounds. Give me an inch thick. All i all of the way. I would just keep putting on just because you see. I don't know what what what's the point of a good dick if you fat. You're gonna you know it's like the sat's you can't even get your resume you don't get the right score. There are not even looking at your dick. If you're fat. I would eat someone. I guess unless you like well venture. I wasn't allowed to wear shorts illegal for me to fucking guy that guy he pops up in the daily mail like once a year but he's always wanted the biker short there are certain people in a blog life. This is something that not many people understand. There are certain people in blog renault. Not no no no we. I just wanna get on clubhouse. I'd love to get on clubhouse and do like a blogger room and just talk about the things that explicitly only bloggers. Now there's the guy with the the oppressively big dick who can't live a normal life. He goes viral once a year. Who always makes his public comments about being sat on a biggest in biker shorts just fucking put on a go to go put a kilt on nude those that there is sex island now goes every year where you can go for like a thousand dollars fuck like every like two girls every night. Just that guy there. There's the dude who this is by no more but there was like a good five year. Run where this guy just kept getting arrested for fucking pool. Half's yeah yes. And it was like a four or five time offender people just breaking people's how far there there a dude he was not a one raft. Man no he was. He was a raft. Pulling me your poly-amorous with the ramps There's oh there's the girl maybe not the same girl but there's always a girl can't stop coming. They call compulsive orgasm disorder and she says she just comes one hundred times a hundred times a minute which reminds me of the girl who can only walk backwards. Estonia cheerleader. this all. I swear to god the my favorite actual video on the internet is the leprechaun in alabama. But my favorite story ever on the internet is the cheerleader. That woman. if you don't know where is she right now why. Why haven't we hired her. She's got a higher her personal series. And let's go to start our own podcast network. First podcast cheerleader. I know. I don't want to have anything for fortune has just wandered around. Yeah yeah you want to see like our assistant. I want him to walk backwards. Or you have to do and it and it's incredibly offensive. Walked be like walking when we we're all again. But honestly such a commitment to the bryant. She was head banging lecture. Her neck had to hers. Yeah the chicken wings going and mind you there was. There was one other thing but dystopia cheerleader. There she has to go and then is is that is that the walk out remix when they walk it out had just walking out had just pop. And do you go this. I know this. It was like a vaccine that she said she got. She got some treatment and then a food and she said she. Can't she starting to flail around like crazy every time she walked forwards but if she started to walk backwards she was perfectly fine and inside. Edition did like a real fucking thing on her. It was unbelievable. Osceola out of going going back. This is the original antibac- like jenny mccarthy saw this was like fuck yeah. This is my brand. Let's do it seeing this. I'm so mad at myself. That i ever believed it for a single so that was my point that this was the first thing i ever sniffed out on the internet. I was like this is not fucking real. And i think people kinda give me shit for it and then i was like i fucking told you so slow motion. And there's there's like inside edition guy being like oh mile. That's that's something that's that's awful. The flu shot is dangerous. And then they caught her then they they. They followed her to the grocery store and she was just walking around with a fucking shopping cart totally fine it was completely and utterly now favor search search and search walking out remix when the beat with. It is just so unbelievably funny. She's she's my favorite wonder. You're if i can you see. My blog is still up on that nick. I'm almost positive. That was the first thing that through a ps out. And i was like there's no fucking chances real. It is without a doubt the funniest thing in the world. A flu shot. She says that shot has destroyed her chances of happiness time now less. Trent is with for a first hand. Look at what her life has become would she does allen passed. this is so offensive. Good is it's honestly look. She's running things. She can run totally fine on. Yes yeah now rewind every day when the fucking news was coming over her husband jacker getting ready time to be mentally retarded that i would love to find out. Like what channel is that is that it's not like an original is now. You've got uploaded one. Maybe it is like like i love. I love to think that that was like that's like You know that was like a two thousand nine like wigs or mill. Yeah like people were doing internet greatness from the fucking job you know when you see like a mean video. Wow that's so clever. It's like yeah we were on this shit in two thousand nine making fun of their their starting your thinking qua- scene on you q. U. a. w. What does that is that old or new. This is old crops. You know. I get very upset when i don't know things. Oh yes okay. I know this is just like a website. It's impossible it's so hard. Oh you're like fall over right you to try to run straight yes. Yes what is o. P. stand for the budget. Oh got it yup. yup yup. What about what about The fucking the ballgame is a three d room in the fucking called. it's like something baltazar ball or whatever it's fucking called now no no no no. I don't know this one you're in lake. I know putt putt. The mini bump as of now. This one you're in like you're playing like tennis like a little box that you move. But it's in a three d. rooms you can bounce off the walls and shit and then hits back wall and comes back at you fuck three tennis ball game all these new fucking games you pay for on your goddamn out your your newfangled iphones. This was some shit that was like you know when you're rotting to death at your desk and it's just fuck come on. It looks kind of like this is a new version of it. You never played that. I thought that would have triggered you. Wait hang on you have to stop will not be able to continue yes. What's that called. I kind of okay. What's that called. Was you type into find that tennis to thousands. Yeah well done. I said three d three d and it's something like curve ball very clever ball because if you hit it but if you hit while you move your mouse it like puts spin on the ball so start going all over the fucking place. Image does try. It was the best it was like the best of the dumb. Well i'll put it up there. I'd mean my favorite best of like the dumb for games. See i actually never really played games. I did the pop punk. Yeah if you didn't have like a soul crushing job. That was like i did college. Just too busy fucking fled jason. Drake chicks entra. I really didn't fucking beers and shockingly low amount of all my girlfriends in college like a fucking loser if you are in a relationship in college kill yourself. Kill yourself seidel. Now absolutely reason. I'm suicidal with me. The reason why. I am absolutely at this point. I've decided i'm clinically depressed by the way you made the decision. Yes absolutely have or you know. I think unlike the jv depression. I you keep saying that. And i can tell you you're wrong. No no no no no. I'm telling you that like doctors would be like. Do you do this in the morning. And do you feel this at night and you say this. Yep the that's technically depression right. But i'm not really impressed with what i'm saying is you. Are you just say no. You don't even have the no no no. I'm saying you have full depressed as a person who talks to you regularly tell you okay. Well then in that case the reason. I'm depressed because i've always been been got dave relationships they do nothing but suck yourself so they just can't fucking random twenty years and i'd be happy guy shit what it is. You're saying that. For a long time. I just keep don't do it. You keep me like well. I don't really have depression. Kevin silently been like well. That's not true but the thing about depression is almost like alcoholism. Where it's like you know i think people are like grabbing a bottle of whiskey out of your fucking bedside table in the morning. You're not alcohol. If i'm not you know stand in front of a fucking train like kirkman and there's levels shit. I remember my first time so the first time i went to therapy with your two years ago. Something like that. And i didn't know how to do like my therapist is off Off brand network network. i hope she's on. hang on. Let me find response here. And my therapist is apple os but the keep. It helped me and i was like. I don't know how to file this. I just don't they. They tend to be like can file reimbursement. I could fifteen dollars per visit. I'll give you because. I don't want to do paperwork like my fucking expenses but keith was like Are your diagnosis code here. And i was like. I don't know what that is receivable and this goes. Ooh you got three diagnosis. I don't know what any of them mean. But i got three. You're going to do something a job worth doing as they say what was i. I don't even know what i was saying. Why was it whatever this on today. We are anyone free. I was going to finish my point about relationships. Crushing your soul. Everybody says things like you know you're going to die alone or like. Don't you want to have kids don't you. Don't you throw run. Those words like fulfil and shit like that right see mine was my answers were yes you wanted. I absolutely yeah. Well that's your breasts. But but no tomorrow but i think you're onto something because my point is like anything else in life like. Why are you planning for the absolute end of your life. You know what. I yeah that's true. It's like okay fine but in in your good years you're going to be a seriously people. We all get married in our thirties. And you know listen if you have like a happy life and a happy family. Great for you. You're not listening. You haven't been for about seven years but you know for for the for the for the people. The normal people get married in your thirties. You realize this sucks you have kids they suck your soul and your money for like low forties and fifties and then like when you're in your sixties and seventies and hopefully eighties or whatever you're like yeah all right. I have a grandkids. A legacy and shit but like the middle primary your life. Yeah people will care about that. Like bloodlines alert. People care about their legacy. I guess like legacy is not the word. But i think if you like if you're if you keep having kids and let your kids don't like our and there's nothing more i think some people get out of shape about my parents and they're like okay. We've had enough made. My siblings gonna have kids. But they're like you should probably will cut out your bit of dna you from the gpo like we offer. What so your thirties forties and fifties. You were like i'm working your lemon. it was. it was like you know. They had their baking some cakes and like a couple couple came up. That was when we were both. They were twenty two right. Yeah we're like obviously that fucked up. Yeah that was. That was the fact that we drank during the practice. I smoking six. I'll be honest. But why mortgage your thirties forties and fifties. It's like a 401k. Yeah retirement. I need a ton of money for what i'm sixty five right and i just spend it now but i do understand. Yeah i mean. I do understand arguing. Children and 401k's episode. Just the weekly. And you know what you're arguing for happiness happiness. I really believe though. I feel like there's there's the one thing that stopped me from college. I took a philosophy class. And i remember a couple. I remember the names and check that. But i know there was one that was like they're. They're the philosophy of their philosophy. If you will is like just do whatever makes you happy like right now in this moment as long as you're not like directly harming someone like just live for right now go and do the total opposite us. You do we happy. I'm exceptionally selfish. And i couldn't recommend it more. You know again moments ago. I said i wanna die tomorrow but right now. I'm in a pretty good mood row did yesterday. I was feeling shit and my nanny sent videos of the kids playing in the snow. And they were just wearing like regular sweatpants and shit and they're like soaking wet. And i was like fuck. I definitely have never gotten them like real. So i'm like this is like the biggest storm we've had like ever other. Kids are sledding building. Snowmen and my kids were like soaking wet and had to go home so my all right. I'll go get you some fucking. I let me order or order. It and i was going. Oh man that's no again so go out to get some right. Go to target now. We don't we don't carry that here. Yeah harry then target you do. What do you do here target. So then i go to Rei and they're they're like going out of business or some shit they were like so we have limited yet definitely right. It was a big fucking like room property. Like how do you guys even fucking survive to rei rei in the mall. All the time they had a rock climbing wall and it was very small but it was associated test out like their rock climbing shoes. And i just feel like twelve years old and not everyone was find earls and hanging out and spend dole delta. I'm going to on the from see you guys later. Who's the bigger loser. That's so ari is like we don't have any kids clothes right next door to that as dick's walk into dick's guys have kids snow close and then like sold out bro and i was like all the other parents are on top of this one. I guess all the other parents saw the top three storm in the world coming and prepared their children for it. And then i had to go to like a full blown is called pedigree ski shop the near like the westchester mall which is like westchester gary. Hoity toity mean full blown like aspen dumb and dumber type of ski shop. Buying my kids horrifically overpriced. They're gonna play in for one day this week. And i'm like i mean by the time walking home. I feed her soaked. I'm soaked mike fucking thorough. The vakhid pass on the door. And like here's your shit. And and in the moment i was like i was actually like i was thinking to myself. There is literally nothing else in the world. That could have got me to like. I had to dig up. My car. had to which by the way. I'm so brian myself. I didn't dig out. Just drove back and forth until i got it. I hope that someone like one of my neighbors could could could have filmed me because i was. I mean it took me sixty five is back for. I was totally snowden. I didn't do any any shoveling to it was up to my over my tire up to my alphand. My door like hit. I dig that out to get into my car and then i just went back and i fucking got out. I was never been more stubborn and idiotic in my life. But it's better than just like i'd rather sixty five of those than shovel. I don't think i agree with that. Really i mean. I i mean. What's the podcast. Knowledge is like berber do manual labor. See but i'm a. I need to be moving otherwise i think and i guess technically you're moving it was. It was kind of fun. I will go a longer route. If i don't hit stoplights. Okay i'll longer drive your or like the subway to work. Because i feel like waiting for the subway. Hate that that. I went down to the subway today and it's six minutes and i was like well that's halfway there. I'll be pretty much. They so i missed in motion. Okay shark really fat out of shape next week. Five percent dick seven getting the asshole. It's brought to you by cuts clothing. You want a better promo than for god's clothing you ain't gonna find better than john vital berg right now holy shit first of all. Let's just be clear about something. That was just bro. I would fuck you know great. I hate it look great. Sometimes i just can't fucking tonight. I started this pandemic. Give me a week of doing push. Ups and i looked like yeah discernibly. Different women must fucking hate. Girls can diet and workout for like three years. And they'll see a fucking pound difference. You're like jumped rope. And i ate like I had three salads and worked out for right. And you fucking great your arms. Look fucking cuts. Clothing is everybody can wear it. Because it's kind of like the stretchy soft material that like i think it's got that micro modal shit that's hot in the streets right now but if you do have a good body it's like forget about it. You fucking awesome. So to all my in shape. Casey radio listeners. This is the shit for you. they've got there and i i didn't wear it and then i put it on right before that and like it is shockingly comfortable. You're there. I worked for forty eight hours for miles now. And if you get see what i do is i have a whole array of them so i have. I have like a blue one white one black one brown one fan one and then i have some that are v necks. Some that are hanley with the button. Some that are crew neck and then the bottom. Some of them are long for going to be one more stylish. Some that scoop column. That have a split him. Some a couple of them have a logo. Most of them are logo lists so once once. You get like a whole cuts wardrobe. You never have to worry again. You don't need a teacher. You really don't have ladies unless unless you're like i mean who's doing like graphic tees. It's either like stylish young kids who are going gonna wear like loud clothes and shit and then when you're regular adult you're just wearing the complain. Colored t. shirt. I is one of the market three hundred dollars worth ridiculous graphic tees just the other day point case in point like to no no no no it was on wish dot com. I bought a lot one of them. Says you bring out the serial killer and nick. Nick giovanni was over my apartment and we just bought like tons of ridiculous. What's going on you were hanging out outside of work. A lot with nick durrani my friend. You never go full ronnie. it's a dangerous game. You're gonna be calling us how to live. Let's address show you everything. I just bought preposterous. So whether you're in shape A little bit out of shape whether you are on the go looking just comfortable sherve at home whatever it is you want a slick. Stylish sleek classy shirt goto cuts clothing dot com slash and get fifteen percent off your first order. That's the only shirt worth wearing at cuts clothing dot com slash clancey. I got a whole wardrobe. And so you can take my word for it. A you bring out the serial killer in me. hey. I don't see any find them because they are like a half a tell you about them. I was i watched. I was watching on instagram comedian. I followed him. Jeff die and he was talking about how he was on a date and the girl he said you know what are you into what are your hobbies. And she said true crime just into true crime. Which is i think. It's an old bit i think at this point is pretty. Well established that that is the thing but he was like. That's a red flag like all you do is obsess over murderers and she was like no no like it's a thing you know there's podcasts and there's there's shows documentaries about it like there's a lot and he goes okay. Okay let's do a little. Let's do a little exercise here. You ask me what i'm into. And she does on like i. Study all the rapists sir. I love the rabi stuff. I just love all the rape. Be stuff you're telling me. That's not a red flag. And i like pretty eye opening pretty fucking eye-opening that we just let girls get away with the fact that they are absolutely obsessively taken over by murder is too much much. How about this he he. He took it a step further. I'll i'll show you the does so well. He's like imagine. If i knew all the names of the most prolific rapists. The girls like jeffrey dahmer. Ted bundy this guy. He raped in california. This guy. you're fucking locked up and we're just like just girls. They drink wine. They drink wine and they do drew grime. It's like wow we'll fuck anybody. The serial killer was one. I bought a six. Xl t shirt. which is. It's just a grim reaper. Giving the middle finger what are you going to do with it. Where problem six xl. Actually i think makes it. He wants that one. I bought a. I've bought one said. I'm i'm a father. A grandfather and a retired firefighter. Nothing scares me. I bought said i ask god for best friend. And he sent me his son. And it's a it's an adult fist. V spouting within a share with a lot run in the lion is inside of across. This could show you because this one this one is shipped. So it's on. It's on the back of the front. It's gotta cross the lions facing it on the back is jesus my god my king team you my everything awesome. That's not what i was expecting. That's awesome that's all for sure. Big large check it. Bugs bunny on with with half of these. You've got a you either. Gotta do gotta like join become rapper at the other rat video or storm the capital. You know in between row flame retardant. We're we're definitely not on fire for sure. Light that fire with it on your head to set your head on by speaking of heads how about how about am i will lead off. Okay little yati or a little little. Which one does the same person. No i know but in my head to the same person which is daddy graham inside that is specific jerk ever three people who could wear that shirt. Which one is it little vertical yati with the diamond. See these fucking young kids. Don't even know what i'm talking about. You guys gotta get on your shit. The baby hand wildly inappropriate. No actually. i didn't end up getting the pink one and it's not bugs. Bunny snoopy varsity jacket Do rent wednesday raiders sweatshirt. Oh sure this. Snoopy shit used to be like when jaycee used to push iceberg. Close like snoopy was on. It was like four hundred dollars sweaters. That's why you've got to be a rapper. And there was a time where like snoopy and all those characters were were like hot said lil. Boosie is either the dumbest thing i've ever seen or the biggest flex. Maybe both he has a twenty four million dollar diamond. He's been like financing it for years and he finally paid it off he got it embedded into his forehead like fucking vision. Oh it's huge. It's like a big pink diamond this. It's like a big fucking chunk. I mean that is literally the diamond from diamond. Yeah it's the pink one twenty four everybody else is it you who has the big one. I don't know where he had it. I don't know layers hiding it in the movie. But he had buried is weird. Yeah look at that. Dude his head. Now we're twenty four million dollars. You chop off. Lucy's head data diamond impossibly dangerous. I mean has got to be some like off book crazy surgeon. Who did it right. I mean it's literally it's fucking it's what is the vision stone. What is what is vision. Stone called a vision is the re minds. Don't pop that thing out and he just disappears. The most expensive part of that stone isn't the stone itself. Well it's twenty four million dollars the security you're gonna have to have life. Someone doesn't behead you. But i guess it's different than like he diamonds. You know. I've not heard of a rapper wearing a twenty four million dollars thing but people get murdered. Stand kill you can punch you in the face. Andrew chaining the kill. You perform surgery on you to get the end. It's twenty four million dollars so people will do it. Well i mean we won't even submit our fucking insurance claims if you were if you were a robber. Would you be like we can go snatch this chain. Go snatch twenty four chains for a million dollars or we can go ahead this guy and steal one diamond embedded in his forehead. What are you doing the beheading for sure. Yeah crime twenty do it once. But i'd have to imagine a lot better than the time i've ever fucking murder case for. Snatches chain you kill someone and behead a famous person you're y- you of a twenty four million you do that and you're at the airport before everyone knows he's dead. The other thing is how that diamond. Thank you cash given diamond people the phrase 'blood diamond exists. But i have a blood diamond attached to you think. Here's here's what i always wonder. How do you get so into like the blood diamond game or like the black market organs game that the minute that you run up on someone like like a very small scale of this is when you have to return like engagement. Ring the people at the fuck in jewelers. No they've got you by the balls and the right you'll get like five percent of your money back if i step up to like an african blood diamond dealer. He's going to be like he'd be twenty bucks or chopping off your arm while you're here like you wouldn't even know how to even approach the right way to do that. They would sniff me out in a heartbeat. That i'm that i'm phony and they would just shot me with up with a machete in steal the diamonds. You're going you're thinking you go to the danger school. You don't go you just call the. Ceo's ails Those mother fuckers obama. Yeah and those mother fuckers. They buy anything anything. Yeah that's true and they buried in a vault to keep fucking demand. Kay jewelers of the mall. I demand fear supervisor. I have an opportunity that i would interest you. Regis begins with k. Pull out a fucking diamond covered. Lucy's like flash. How much for this right here. Bang it down on the table. Go like a pawn shop. Was that show fucking on on. How much for this guy. i'll call him. he's an extra. I'll give you seventy five thousand. I was thinking twenty four million. You know who's head. This came out of you know lose. You can still see delays crazy though. I mean that's so that's kind of either like the dumbest thing in the world is going to get beheaded the biggest flex ever where it's like at all times more twenty four million. I think whatever. Yeah i think he's works until you're dead like that your biggest selection until someone shot off at that happens. It's kind of like you re saving money and having kids and shit. It's like yeah maybe at the end of my life. I'm super miserable. I guess you were right but for those thirty years in between it was pretty fucking cool. Imagine you go bankrupt. And don't worry yeah rip it out of your head see. That's another problem that's gonna fall out. I would imagine. I would imagine how how how well could be surgically attached. I mean you know people do like little studs. But that's like rock he lost. Yeah i've seen that you haven't seen that little things in their back. the anchors. Yeah yeah those gold. Also that's fake who's unified him. Call him on this. You know what i mean. i'm gonna get one. It's going to be a diamond. E will yet but it's going to be a ruin. That moneymaker york's gonna glue it if it was closer to halloween. This would be a big halloween costume but alas will also i mean cultural appropriation. Called what it is. What the ins. Yeah you see what's going on in india charlotte arena the largest human strike in history. I got a confession. They don't care do you. Just because that was my confession. I just don't care what's going on. I started like well. This is all about. Move the needle and i got two paragraphs into cnn. The problem is no memes page. If the farmers of india drop in funny memes there'd be a revolution. Was the cnn article. Didn't get there fast enough about how india banned internet and fourteen to twenty two counties around new delhi. And i was just like i want know about or you gotta tell me like. You're not gonna have bread because like it. Trickles down to get my breath from iowa. That's what i'm saying. I mean we we. We got our homegrown ship until you tell me how this affects me or get to some funny memes. I'm not listening. You could boil down. My interest in anything in the world is is does it affect me negatively or does make me laugh. What else actually. A really good point right and i got a little bit of like so you can boil mine. A little further. Doesn't make me laugh. Even really you wanna know of. It affects me negatively. But okay whatever. I really want to know if it makes you laugh. I don't want to miss that all right back to the astle. We'll start with this. This is actually technically from read. It ships not remember the asshole. But i think we know who the is going to be on this one girlfriend. Should i break up with my boyfriend. Because he believes nine eleven is an inside job boyfriend of two years. Twenty nine came out during the lockdown. That he has a full support of nine eleven conspiracies. He admitted the only ones he believes in our epstein nine eleven is an inside job. Hillary clinton maybe being associated with epstein ring any generally skeptical of the of the government. Finally after an argument. I twenty female started yelling at them told them that. I can't trust his intelligence anymore because he believes these. Our relationship is basically over. my in. our relationship is basically over in my mind now. But i can't figure out if i'm overreacting reacting. I need something says this Will ruin my life staying with a man who believes in conspiracies could be making a huge stake. I this girlfriend is a fucking bitch. Now i rise. I definitely i tend to agree with her. I'm with her. I couldn't be with someone who was like full-blown conspiracies. The one she listed are pretty large is spirit will nine eleven is yes but like you know what it's like that's just a fact is one hundred percent tied to the fcc. Yeah bill than hillary. I think bill was the one fucking twelve year olds. Not hillary maybe allegedly pretty hard hard hard allegedly fucking boat horn but also factual. Yeah yeah. I mean like like he also sees a murderer de killed about half. A dozen people allegedly a surprised. How many like like people that i think are pretty smart. Are like something was funny with nine eleven. Like not like crazy shit. Jet fuel can't seal beams and shit. But like i've heard people that talk about it like general you know obviously general consensus like there was something going on those kind of like. Wait what have you ever seen the the It's like a welder. Who it was on rented years and years ago but it's him proving false the jet fuel candidates since and he was just like he has his team and he just gets it hot. Same the same temperature that i'd like to jeffey women and pushes it. Because it didn't melt the arguing it melted. It just fell right. Like tool doesn't melt sealed beams and somebody else's back like but it does not come over but i mean i. I was surprised to find out that. I think some people don't think of that is crazy. I think it was producer. Was saying it and then i started to kind of like look into it and like a lot of people really believe that documentary loose. Change like that really persuaded. But that's also why. I don't really watch those things because i it will. It will persuade you the person who made it is smarter than yeah and they will trick me. Yes oh yeah. Yeah definitely right. Yeah that's all the humidity's is trick but the way it almost sounded to learn anything it almost felt like the way i talk about serial where i'm like those fucked up things they're like it's not like full blown guys innocent but like some shit went on. There's other duma nine eleven. i was like well. Wait a minute. Faulk one individual man's life states fucking policy. Which is i think their point is like. That's why they want it to happen. And all that kinda shit but but yes so sh- so he does like epstein. Denial generally skeptical government. I mean i would. I would say the vast majority of people right skeptical of all. I think all of those things are fair now if it was like is he. He's saying that drum where you go. You're at a cocktail party. And it's like hey knock down in his job. And i don't even fuck fucking super late to the party. People started is like twenty years ago to nine eleven. We forgot there are there. Are people app cocktail parties. Not going what nine away but the like. I wouldn't even be mad that like it was announcing people to people that he was not super intelligent. I i'm just about your. That's totally different. So but that's the thing that that question would then be like. Can i break up with my boyfriend. 'cause he hasn't shut the fuck up about dumb things. Yes but because what she's saying like am i going to ruin my life staying with a man. Who believes in conspiracies. I mean again. You have to decide if this is like some cuban on shit where you're going to give your friends and family to go like chase down q. Or it's like i mean. I love conspiracies. I've talked about all the time like almost like a hobby of mine. Could you not date meeting because of that and you fucking bitch. My boyfriend's passionate about things. Should i bring him yeah right. I got a hobby to him. You know he's doing he's just like fighting back like he probably was like. Hey i hear about like the seven world trade and like how would that kind of blew up and she was like being a bitch about it so when he was like okay you know what fuck you then. This whole thing is fucking data. I'm not happy relationship. So i'm going to run for both of us. Be an awesome way to do like the preemptive break up and make them break up with you is become like a hardcore conspiracy person and just see how stupid an ideology and fun you get until the person was like. I can't do this anymore. It's probably jarod told me. I think very scenario. I think the rocket was fucking chick who said that nine eleven i think she took a step further almost like like nine. Eleven happened when he's crazy things and he was like i can't get anything like this is a girl who i used to like. Throw her head against. The wall was like a jig that he would just like us slam and he was like a. That's that's why she became a lesbian. She's like all right. This doesn't really seem to affect them very much. I'm just gonna tell them. Gay like the seven women in his life become lesbians. It's the craziest stat in human history. It can be a real steps like there's no way wilt chamberlain like fifty five points fifteen rebounds and a season times. It's all of wayne gretzky. Tony gwynn stats combined times. A billion doesn't compute that one man could turn seven girls gang. That's he's a dog dude. Shakes are just like. I can't deal with this this gender over again like i. I always buses balls. Dick was so bad. But i think it's more just like yeah. You are your mind. Your existence was so just so disgusting to them that they're like. I'll never i will never associate with anyone who has the same anatomy as this person ever again. He's like i don't care about this dog. Also i got. I got one. Am i speaking of gay whereas it here okay. Am i the asshole for accusing my brother of being gay instead of studying all day. I don't even know what that means. I'm fourteen okay. It's weird servers are. Am i the for accusing my brother of being gay instead of studying all back. Seems like those things you could do. Simultaneous mutually exclusive. But okay. i'm fourteen male and my brother is twenty two male. We've always had a great relationship. He's he's the one. I'm closest to all my life so far. This is clearly whereby fucking fourteen year old. yeah he started a phd. Doing maths at a top university last summer. And i'm truly happy for him. Although that meant he would be away from home for six seven months a year but he grew more distant from me ever since even when he was back home for holidays on most days you would stay in his room the whole day and only come out for meals into tuck me to bed at night. What is happening right now. Own two boys two boys. Yeah not that it would make even probably worse if it was a sister but what the when he did play games or have prolonged chats with me he was his old self but those became more and more frequent when i asked him about it. He said he was too busy nowadays. But we'll spend sundays with me which he did recently. He's had postponed his studies until summer. Because of lockdown at one would think he would have more free time now but apparently not and he continued saying that he was working saying something that something like. No one ever succeeds by doing the least amount of work. It didn't make sense. So i suspect that he was. He wasn't studying all day. I asked if he was dating and he said he was too busy to date anyways one night after he thought i went to bed. I love fucking guy. I listened and heard him talking on the phone and it was obvious from the way he spoke did. It wasn't just a friend. I've always suspected that he was gay since he never showed any interest in girls or the stock market. I'm going to use that junk forever. Figured he always denied dating because he was ashamed of being gay. I was angry that he lied to me well. Yesterday i was arguing with my mom about grades. My brother chimed in and said if you spend your time studying instead of arguing maybe you'd get better grades. And i said you probably spend your time defeating boys. A my mom was like. How dare you say that and sent me in my room. So i don't know how my brother reacted afterwards. I knew i shouldn't have talked back. But i didn't say anything too bad. And even when. I did in my past. My brother never got angry at me also. This is kind of his lying to me and not caring about stock today. He ended up skipping dinner and didn't talk me into bed at night so i was so i think he was really angry. Then today everything back to normal and he watched a movie with me so perhaps he felt bad about lying to me too and he was not angry more. I'm not sure on the aso. I okay well first of all. This kid wants to get fucked by his brother. That's a fact get talked in and you apparently get wildly jealous. He's talking to other boys. Wanna give that fourteen year old boy. Yeah drinking jackie's water. The what are we going. I don't know okay. That was that one like smelled like lipstick or something. That's not right but anyway the the fourteen year olds gay. You're the asshole. Definitely your cavers. And that's okay because you're astle studying the other the other brothers gay too though you wouldn't react that way like when he was like okay like i gotta talk you win. Watch a movie with you. He is feeling guilty about it. The brother the older brother. Yes so. I think he's getting to i. Kid nailed it and he was like all right. I'll talk to you again. Is downright insanity that your your both the astle here because if that we've talked to your mother deny you gotta cut that behavior right. That's the weirdest shit. I've ever heard what come back. Oh yeah well you should be studying but you spend your time talking to boys you gay. I mean it's sucks for so many reasons other than the fact that he wants to fuck brother as actually last on the list which is hard to fuck do. This is like reminds me of the time. Would tyler sagan and jamie benn. We're talking about the city in brothers and they were like yeah. Who knows what they do behind closed doors and everyone was like homophobic. No no it's not. It's anti incested. Yes you did not want. Brothers that fucking. Let's let's all take a hard line stance on that one. It's hold the line on that list. Throw step on brother. He's steps jerk off says dot com. But if not. I am morally opposed and not get outta here legislation against that. I've been watching veep. And one of the funniest storylines is is. The fact that joan ryan marries and then his fucking their parents get back together. You can't be together because now she's my sister. Joanna ryan is an all time character. I mean one of the greats. We talked about this underrated extensively in the sense that like when he says the greatest line ever told. How am i doing eating so much. Push. it is the funniest fucking thing i've ever heard and kevin bonner. Oh they they do look similar. Yeah for sure. Yeah and like the uncle. Jeff freaking out when he goes. This is an elementary school. You animal did you see the uncle. Jeff levine the other night when he's at jonas dad's funeral and he goes. You're comes up. Because i'm so sorry. Oh wow thanks jeff. That's really so. Are you killed your father. And i wasn't there to say he starts dying laughing. I can't believe you gave them chicken. Pox always thought you were more aids guy and then as amy's escort him out. He gives them his hotel key. Cardi hotel if you gotta dig. I'll pay double as far as big carriers go. Jeff is away. jeff is our i would say. He's my favorite trevor. Every time he's on characters recurring fucking hilarious because the voice mails or voicemails today. Brought to you by the bucs. It's time to get your flowers. Valentine's day is february fourth. You only got ten days left so get it in now so that you can schedule the exact delivery date whether you're sending them to an office probably not anymore you send them home whatever it is. You still gotta give valentine's day flowers your wife your girlfriend your sister your mother your aunt your grandmother your boyfriend your boss you fucking favorite podcasts are everybody wants goddamn flowers now so go to the boots on top of beautiful bouquets. they've also got chocolate and jewelry and candles which is a nice touch. because you can't just do flowers on valentine's day it depends depending on where your relationship is so if you can get like another little like token in the same shot you done you know it is entirely are you must do flowers. that's like bare minimum to get and then you know if it's a serious thing maybe got a real gift. If it's like early you can be like end. I got this little leg. Lock in or this little bear this little whatever and to do that all month shot is just easy peasy greasy and also Maybe i'll actually you know what this is a good time to add in my life hack. I've learned oh. Yeah oh yeah this is great. This is this is great. 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Kfc for twenty five percent off your valentine's day flowers. Okay now. I actually have two questions. Here have questioned the statement. One boop was very nice and they sent us free flowers that i brought home this week and got a great reception right there. Beautiful flowers unbelievable. Do i have to get more flowers. Yes so this is always a problem with us. That'd be do. Get the free flowers. And i think any girl in our life kind of knows that. So it's like here's a re gift. I really considered taking them out of the box and being just grabbed these. You brought the box home seattle and saw that it was it was it was the office. Yes he i. I took it out and i just walked there with a fucking glass vase. Oh much smarter than but now i feel like i'm almost like extra sleazy you were. You were honest about it. Here's a box. I gotta work bitch like lower right. Didn't come in. And say. I almost think i might have told on myself but i also think i'm gonna just let it ride. I've done both in my life. I was like oh. It's mother's day flowers happened to come off. It's valentine's day flowers com. I think the safe play would be to get another bouquet from books. The play and what i'm gonna do during your fucking own address on it. You dummy is is the ideal idea. I learned over christmas now. I'm not the best gift giver. And i just you don't say eternally selfish man. I'm not great at getting gifts. But what i've learned this past year is what you do. You get you gifts that you think they'll like you'll be wrong but what i do is i put in my pocket. A drawing of dogs just. It's the same one. I'm used place now and i keep it in my top drawer and you put a drawing of a dog in your pocket and if this is the nuclear option. Yeah it's just like when you're when you're presents have when their presence don't even get a like. Oh okay when you're presents to get like a. Is this just for meeting. Then you go with this option but then if they nuclear bomb then you take out to go and here's the big one and it's a dog that it's an iou for sure and it is. It's jeans because it makes me more confident. When i give the gift i'm like well i got a living creature. No-one tell her about this. You know how like how badly. How badly do you want to unless you wanna puppy yourself. But if you're like. I don't want to deal with responsibility. Should do you know how bad you have to bomb your gifts to take on that responsibility like like you know how badly you have to want to win the holiday and be like the hero to be like i will take on a fifteen year. Responded i will take that will affect me every day for the next fifteen years. Just because she didn't like the fucking sweater i got. You are convincing me to stop doing. People who get puppies are idiots agai. I'm just gonna say dogs. they're great. i love them. Getting dog is the craziest thing that all of society buys into. It's just agree to live with an animal that is highly inconvenient for the next decade. And a half. it's crazy it is. I actually get really annoyed too. And i have friends who have dogs i go with sometimes and r.i.p probably good. But he's like. I don't have to deal just thing we'd be out. He'd be like uh with with like dft gone. Walk leroy and again it's tad. He's gone now. But i'd be like man i'm having inconvenient to me vacations. You gotta plan weekends around yet to have a dog sitter. They go to the vet. They throw up. They have seizures this out the food the worms having a dog is a fucking pain for as like crazy selfish as the world is. It's wild that we like majority of people are like. Yeah that's great. I mean that's the test. How awesome the good side of dogs are where it's like. They are cute. They show go you. You know. I actually i. Also duncan dunkin's a fucking crazy dog. So i never have not had that experience where you have like a chill dog who just is like a human in dog form where it's like he just like sits next to me and almost watches. Tv with me. But i had one of those that i guess that's pretty. That's those are my dog. Yeah and i think that's because it's my personality they learn. Yeah where it's like a motherfucker. My dog doesn't even cuddle with me. I don't to be. I don't want to be touched right. You don't want to be touched. I'm going to say that this ended the couch. You sit at that end of the couch. We'll be good right and that's but then also same thing like okay. That's cool but you have to like keep it alive up shit and all these crazy things that you would never do for like i depending on where he some. So that's you know that's basically every time she just kind of look around with anyone. I didn't have never happen right. Oh but wait wait. Sorry giving a dog as a gift is a colossally bad idea. It's worst idea but the the path of least resistance. I won't be in trouble for fifteen years to not be in trouble for night. Yeah you will do that. That's true it wouldn't be. That's why it's we'll take responsibility. It'll be perfect for marriage that's crazy. We'll cut that this episodes call we'll next up or i would guys viva happy. Groundhog's day watching kimmel il no lately but anyways he made a joke about getting a waffle truck outside of town. Groundhog's day says talking to mind if you had to plan out your groundhog day Bill murray how you pointed out. What would your question now if you could get a day for the rest of your life. That's a great question. I feel like you gotta think though because you do something impulsive here and like you grow hated or you like it all right. Let's play out the waffle truck. Like what if you don't. It's just it's just a day as he get fat. I was like no you just start right over right so i guess you can go as impulsive as you want you get a clean over twenty four hours so then you gotta think like what we like doing just sitting on the couch but if it's going to be for the rest of time i want to have the option to shoot i was gonna say i you live i do it. It's just your life. Yeah way what's it's mind two years just good. Mine's jackie's a wakeup jerk off. Take shit take a shower watch. Tv for a bit come to work. Do bullshit go home watch. Tv do bullshit go home. Watch tv do bullshit. Like seven o'clock drinks him whiskey over and over and over like i've been i've literally been doing it for a year now But it is probably something i've do for it's really actually been it's been pandemic. Life is where it's like that's been great. I think it is for everyone. Yeah it's just. That's what i do. I just like when pandemic ends. You'll start going back out again right so would you want that to be part of your groundhog day. Would you want like a trip to the bar in there would you want. Yeah i guess you have to do these things. Let's say you have to do it right you have to do. You have like it's like you know i want like every day. I want like the bar to be open. I can go in. And i don't have to go in but like you have to because that's what i mean it's like you can pick like all right. I want to go on sex island. It's like after probably like four days. It'd be like i'm done for eternity. I think you know what i would do that. I don't do. But if i had to do the rest of my life. I would add it in play hockey. See i was gonna say that to you. Would you maybe want to go hit. The rink is something that i never do. You like it. You know you love like when you're doing you're happy doing it. I'm right far happier but even because little bit we played for like the parcel which is a year ago. now awesome. I was like i'm i'm just in a much better mood but also i remember you being just anymore i did yes so but i mean there is a clear. Here's the thing you have to pick for this exercise. You have to boil it down to the least common denominator here. What is the only thing you can do for eternity and that sit on the couch and watch tv. I can play hockey for an hour a day fraternity. I don't think you could. I would think they become a day would be like i. Just don't wanna fucking gear up and all this shit because guess what you don't you love it so much. Never play but it is. I think i think that's the problem with growing up. You just stop doing you like you go. I was so happy when i was a kid. You were doing things you liked. Yeah and now you just not doing those things anymore right and i. It became very clear to me when we were playing even skating a little bit. And there's a hockey. It's that little piece of competitiveness that we think we've lost. You're happier when you have. Definitely i'd be like doing surviving bar so all night. I'm not in it but like being in something like that. Where i'm like this is is cool. It's entertaining right. I love this is years. You'll get that said as many times as soon as you get introduced to booze. And pussy your life goes downhill because you get fixated on those things and you forget about all the shit that used to do. You know who doesn't think fun when they're in adult. No none was. I you know what else am i do. I could not disagree more. I is another thing where it's like three day dude. Also that means you have to pick winter. Why would choose winter for the winters way better than some winters so much better than summer. Well that's fine but you gotta pick fall or spring now if you if you if you pick anything crisp falled i mean. This man is a. He's a runaway train. A runaway train of illogical that is s today sucks pro. Nobody's cold slush puddles everywhere. There's still like a little bit of snowfall. Peppering you in the fucking face. You can't drive anywhere. You're soaking wet. Because today is a day where you just go. Sit down and watch tv. Today's day where everyone's like me. Okay we'll just so that you're all in my book that's it could be july fourth. I feel like you feel today. That's that's that's a good point like if you're if you would pick a fucking nor'easter every day because then we all just stay home and watch tv. And there's no guilt. Then i can get down with that. But you're not gonna fucking play hockey on a day like this every single fucking day course i would. This is the dan one hockey. No there's gonna accommodate you very soon that you don't wanna fuck and get up and go out and do all the shit very soon because again. You don't do this. It's such a clear like you're wrong because you don't you have to do this thing. You allegedly fucking god. Go see my mom hours. You don't do those things anyway. You could do that right fucking now. You could make groundhog day your day talking about her. Rtd brother into bed. There are people who wake up everyday for yet. My workout go this. I do that. I go for a run. I go to work. I played my kid. It's like i just wanna watch. Tv the only thing. I know that i could safely. We're talking eternity dude. We're talking e. turn ity. You know what i was like said no. My first thing would do if i can deliver day over and over. The first thing i would do is shoot myself in the head days just like two seconds long. Every day i wake up and commits soon. I wouldn't. I wouldn't make it the first thing i do. I would for sure. Get the last thing i do. I was jumped off a bridge in bed. I would for my side pocket of candy. And i'd fucking shoot myself in the i. I would jump off a bridge every single night. Magic bridge not having to be afraid. I'd be awesome. Although i think it'd be a moment of trepidation every time it's like what if this is the day that the cycle breaks. I'm just gonna ask. How long take you to start jumping off shifts. Like like. That's in the palm springs. Bring start doing crazy shit anymore. We're gonna try to. I mean i guess if you wanna get like literal about it. Like i would like to wake up. I'd like there to be some morning sex. I'd like you to be like a bomb breakfast. I'd like to watch the price is right. i would Probably to record a podcast radio But like that's it and then Then like then starts the television finish up with a little more sex and suicide c. You keep going sex. I think i think you say that. Like it's gonna be in the minority. I i would jerk off with a belt around my neck until i strangled to death. There's a choice. There is a choice. You do that you could go. David carradine everyday returning. I respect that opinion. I absolutely respect that. Could you imagine day. Like twenty million. You're like a. I've never done. It might as well try at one time. I it's gotta be awesome. I mean people die for it. You know it's like it's the same way it's that good. I happy people literally sacrifice their lives for john. It's gotta be awesome. What do you say we try that tonight. Sure let's do one more voicemail and get it into with ryan long because it's funny and long and he is funny motherfucker it's brought to you by miller lite type of guy you want to sit down. I wanna. I wanna have an american beer with that. Can make ryan longo full-blown america on on everyone's ass have a nice miller lite which has great taste and less filling better than every other beer out there. You wanna drink some fancy craft beer. You want to be that dickhead. You don't want to drink some water down garbage from the other names. You gotta go straight to the source in milwaukee wisconsin where you know they brew that good good. You can get delivered right to your house now. You don't go out to the bars. Says it doesn't matter what your rules are. What city you live in. If you can go out indoor dining outdoor dining no dining you can get it delivered right to your door so you don't have to worry about that. Obviously with the big day coming up. They're doing it. They're doing a big shout out to the girl who wrote down the ad. Now's the time to get paper out for the really really really long. Url so miller lite is running this this promo. Where during the michelob. Ultra ad for the super bowl if you go to this website. wile michelob. ultra is is running commercial. You can win free beer. Get your pen and paper out. Give you a second and then you can write it down. It's the only place you can only place in the world that you can get this. You are there's no other ways possible to get the url certainly no other way than just listening to me right now and writing it down. Let's go www dot this miller. Lite marketing stunt will distract you from ultras big game add dot com slash. Just type in this. Url when the michelob. Ultra commercial airs on the sacred sunday in february. When everyone is watching football and we will give you free miller lite which not only has more taste than michelob. Ultra but also has only one more calorie and you will actually burn calories by typing this ridiculously long but you will have to type it for real no cheating by copying and pasting which is why we are printing this url in a good old fashioned newspaper of the highest integrity. And yes we are aware that there's bound to be some technology that exists. That could transcribe photo. Back into highlight techs. In which case you could cheat and copy and paste this url but we are going to trust you because good relationships are built on trust so once again. Please type this url on february seventh. Because this is a stunt designed to make you miss our competitors bad burn a calorie and get a free beer. It's miller time. Also there no pastas or anything like that. I believe that was questioned when she tweeted that. There's obviously not because yeah and seven. February seventh is the number and t h okay. That's a big one so celebrate responsibly. Get ready for for during a michelob. Ultra big ad and drink yourself. A milwaukee imaging yourself a miller lite brewing for the miller. How can i get through the fucking at and then i can't do that crazy. Celebrate responsible from the miller brewing company. Walk milwaukee wisconsin ninety six calories three point two carbs per twelve ounces. No purchase necessary must be twenty one to participate last one. Let's go what's up. Boys got much more. You so me and my buddy at work the other day we're talking about celebrities and all came so obviously we're all about how she has been and His statement was i would gurgle her bathwater all kind of just to stop it that not not out of like feminism or anything out of district comedy the i would drag my nuts through the broken glass through fuck in all of it. Was it here you fart through a walkie talkie or something like that. All of it says that things like the most clever person like no. It's just a thing. People said in two thousand twelve. Who was a comment in on barstool sports when we when we first fucking stock right i it is beyond play. I'm shocked it's still happening shocked. What what i'm sure. Maybe the question is who would you actually guard. I mean i would if policy was like if you do this you know. We'll go out. Yeah the joke is just so fucking played out. Why did you say right away. Like she's the best kalsi. Well i mean. I agree but i'm wondering to specific sentence. No everything everything about her halls pregnancy fetish. We're cutting that no no. We are by and you know what you're not wrong. I've ever seen a person with like. Oh she's glowing halsey pregnant. What up you know she is and you know what's crazy. I think her voice is the sexiest part about her. And she's crazy sexy you know. It's not like she's an ugly ugly girl with a great voice like is so distinct. I love that. She's she's the best in the business. I could not love and in fact. I love halsey so much that i would not do any of those things because she demeans deserves better than i would make sure her bathwater is perfect with the bath bombs and the flowers and shit like that like i couldn't possibly gargle it because it's got chemicals in there that are ed great for your skin and your and your soon to be child. Got weird come on our show. And also there's fucking. I don't think there's anyone you said. Like oh i would definitely do that and i said i wouldn't because it's not just financial but she just deserves better. I don't think there's anyone. I would do anything weird for i. Just think in that moment. that's not that bad. Well i mean gargle year fucking backwash a now like just because like dare to me let alone if the sahal he was at the end of the rainbow. that's true but some of the other ships stoop. I wouldn't drive my boss. Who broken glass right now. Nobody not for a single person for a single thing. Top seven percent peanuts here not penis. Well the balls are a big part of it. How much money though for for that would drive my balls through money through glass for think you wouldn't even. I think my balls aren't heavy enough. I was gonna say. I have to be some sharply the step through it would her right gently rag my balls and it might feel good turn. Hopefully that's what gets me to halsey. Because i can be ready to go for her. If i if i through broken glass i would definitely be my i dragged my boss through braga glass. I might come. John over ryan ryan long a very funny new comedian on the scene here in america. is on. The show was talk to him again. I got this New thing webcam settings pedal and you can look at it. Sorta like oh shit should the we five bucks. 'cause it's one of those things like you always buy like. I got all these free programs. All of them are fucking garbage. And then i like bob bulletin bought one and it was like the best thing ever on one well worth well worth and yeah you can move it around mets way handsomer than us to. Let's don senate five dollars on audio man shit so ryan long joins us now. Who if i had to pick one name. That i've been hearing told me. We are live by the way a lot always work. We're always Let me brag about my tech for ten minutes. So i mean every comic that i listened to every comic that i hear talking about comics. Delaine towards rogan scholz. Everybody comes ryan logs next ryan laws next so. I'm always very like careful of this to be like you're the new guy. 'cause you might be like motherfucker. I've been doing this for twenty years. You but it feels like you kind of read some sort of tipping point with your careers. I actually am the new guy. Yeah i think we talked about it but the So i'm not new to the world. But i only move to america like four months before the pandemic so if you told anyone in toronto that you know you heard of this ryan long obviously but in america everyone was kind of like came out of nowhere. Because i legitimately dead right. I moved here four months before the pandemic like kinda got past it. All the clubs started and then it was. You know it's been locked down my entire time in america. Everyone here is to find another. But i've been doing this stuff like i had some. Tv shows in canada. And i made a bungee series at cbc which like national broadcaster. Whatever how how to hold career over there then moved here in kind of the same thing in. Everyone's been very cool. That's that's so perfectly american like it. You look who we discovered like. No no no no man. I spoke in popular in a different country. Like these is by the way. Not like i was over in india. Our way fucking ironic because of right though because it's like you know it's this attitude of americans are like. Oh if it's not america it doesn't matter but it's true unfortunately and everyone else thinks that to like in canada. The only i was talking about this yesterday. The only difference is we do have bands like before i was ever a comic. I had like a pretty successful band in canada when young. And but we had like. When you're growing up you'd see the like let's say Foo fighters and then we'd see our canadian bands and when you're ten you're just like oh that's ban and then when you grow up you see the guy from the other band working as a bar back. You're like we saw. It was duped this because we would just have. Mtv countdown and they would like squeezed and canadian bands on there. So you'd be like. Oh my god it's like nirvana moist like these canadian bands. You guys have heard of right now. Yeah you kind of as you grow up like that was making fifty grand a year. So did you. Did you feel like what about She's greek was canadian right. No this is the kind of like twist that canadians will do. That's wrong because it's creek. Eugene levy moved to america became a big american celebrity right like he was on a million things he was. Setv or whatever was then he was the american pie all the stuff right. He big american celebrity moved back to canada to make a tv show with his son so he essentially you know used his name and catherine o'hara and his son was like a mtv in canada so he basically went back and he's like all make my son's property. And i'll be like in it. And i'll be the executive producer so not me. It's like a jim carey. Is wayne's world. A canadian is movie. Is is austin powers a canadian franchise once so right now. That's the same thing that's happening with me like probably right now. Everyone's like oh like canadian and it was like you guys can eat a dick because you like you the opposite you guys people back and then so jim carey if he goes in like decides to make a little program for canadian television like as you know to be nice to help one of his friends in canada. It's not like coming up do favor. Just go all the way and just say fuck. Canada that plays can eat a dick american flag boxes on. I'm going full american canadian patriot. They're like they're digging their guns. I'm all in a house. The the band. You definitely have a band look to you. Attach the hair. That is more of a band before i was. I was wild kid when i was young. I would have to imagine girls were found of you. I'm gays out. I'm actually stray. But when i came here i was like this seems to be working for tim. Dillon i'm gonna make tim dillon. Suck somebody's taking all that happens. I will tell you that. Yeah when i was. I was in this famous band when i was like twenty and is the the most famous like comedians. Getting pussy except for some of the black is maybe. The most famous comics like girls like them as much. As you know in openers openers openers at the frigging like you know playing for three people and bands like there's some bandits it's twenty one years old like playing for fourteen people and they're better than what we're doing better with ladies than like louis c. K. was doing pretty good. They do that. They weren't really into it but he was getting a lot of them. I guess it's sort of like these tiktok stars will you'll see like some twenty one year old guy that's like some big tiktok star and you're like you know like we we're actually popular. I thought that for so long. I was like these are. These are chinese data farm numbers. They're not really. And then. I started to say like they would walk outside and get fucking mob like they were the ad needles and i was like all right. It's it's real. i mean. yeah you're white richer and way more successful with me. It won twelve of the I know that's one of the problems with not doing standup. Because i've seen i've i kinda popped up on the internet and stuff and it does feel like it's not real until you go outside and people are like what's ought to pitcher and you're like what the hell is guy i get the comics want like you guys are so so. You said like instant gratification yet. But i promise you dude. People does not fuck and matter what you're getting hundreds of thousands of views on your parameters you. Now that's the stock on it. You all need instant like yeah you. What comedians either. To get addicted to likes like we do. That's that's what gets me off. I don't need a laugh. I just need for dopamine to slip out or slip into my brain. I don't really know how dopamine works for dopamine to do stuff what it's supposed to do. I just need a couple of hearts and that's it i don't need anything just some green releasing red heart. Yeah i graham. Just come on over to the dark side. I prefer people to be arguing in the comments. That's the only thing that does it for me. I like to be quote. Tweeted angrily buyer but the with comedy the differences. It's kind of like the internet. The things that do really well a lot of times have very specific point and they're kind of like scratching very specific h where it's like stand up. This is a lot of times people that don't actually go in the clubs and do three shows a night and like actually work on comedy you you can see the ones that just lint live on the internet because they just. It's like you see this with with politics right. Like they just put their jersey on and they're like i'm on this team and it's like comfortable and it's easier and you can actually get more likes by whereas win a room full of people especially in new york or something. There's all different people there. It's like you actually need to be really funny. You can't just kind of say what people already think. All one hundred percent mean there. Anybody who can who can just work in entire room in the major cities is undoubtedly. It's been there. Yeah which is why. That's why stand up. You know in every art form kind of goes through its peaks and valleys like stand up kind of popping off for a little while and i think everyone kind of like the stand up and it's like another forty nine netflix's specials you're like we're going to take a break on stand up for a little bit but know it'll come back and whatever but that's like the big difference of where we stand up. It's kind of like fighting or something like that where people you can make videos on the internet and everyone would be like this guy stocks or whatever and you're going to be like fuck suck didn't stand up someone would be like that's not funny and i'm like i'm killing right now yes. There is an objective component. That allows you. I think it kind of helps you to be more confident whereas even with like i do some pretty edgy videos and stuff like that and a lot of people like how can you do that. Like how do you say that stuff. Or whatever. And i'm like to me. It's not crazy because unlike i've been doing this bitter whatever for six months and i'm like this works every time like this is risky at all. It's like one of my go. To's almost you know what i mean so you kind of just find that thing where it's know how to do this little thing. You're the skits are very funny. Which i feel is a very tough thing to do like ordinarily if you'd like have you seen this skit like i'm gonna fucking heat. This really stinks to someone. But you guys than i mean it's nabbed it's obviously like a scripted skit but somehow feels natural and finding the one with the end with finances. Just yeah. he's the best player so fucking funny all the no. They're ahead. I mean. Every time i see a ryan logs come watch it. So we're kind of bringing sketch comedy back a little bit because it was also a little bit of a dead art form and a lot of ways but i mean it's the same thing that probably happened to you. Guys is like the switch so much that it was kind of like this all counterculture kind of got started. And that's another reason why america is better and it was like you know people are crazier in portland in places like that. They're more that's because there's no room for like dissent so the smaller like where's the new york. There's a whole room for a counterculture. Like you mentioned like tim. Dillon schultz and all those guys. They're making huge careers like outside of the industry. And that's like one of the cool things here as the industry shifted where it was like guys like me. You know you're like obnoxious fucking white dude or whatever. The industry was like we don't want this and then the industry basically went everyone and they're like what you like now and people are like i mean. No it's not but you throw right but there's enough you know you can kind of create your own thing and then once you're on the counterculture and once you're like free from all of that stuff you can actually just really focus on what you wanna do. Which actually just makes you so much better than these people that are you know. I'll make sketches with these people and that are really in the industry and like why can't do this and i can't do that. Well i guess not. And i'm like man. Imagine you're fighting with your anti-drug find your back right and it's like just you know like when i go up. I'm not following any of those rules. So i'm going to demo you right. You're a little bit. i mean we we we. We have had like involving set of rules to play. By as we've got bigger and more like official yeah and it always feels like we kinda just stay right on yet but we definitely have like softened look back and i went on a Gangs podcasts of we. Go with them. And i was like holy. Fuck this is what is like to have after your twelve then word. You're like maybe this isn't a thirty seconds. It was all rendering edwards like working at barcelona so we always think we're like edgy. And the ones like pushing the envelope. We're really not anymore. I heard that. I was like all fucking god. You guys are insane. How did you guys even have job. Well kevin jackson me before you even got there kevin. I'm actually starting to get pretty nervous about this. And i was like why what's going on. I've i've been warned to not drink anything that i didn't bring myself because was like they're gonna throw me all right. Maybe it is. It was the first time navy certainly in my career. Maybe my whole goddamn life. I just puts the microphone away. And i was like you guys over the next few minutes like i'm always the one but my foot my mouth. I did it just last night. I always say dumb shit. Those guys i was like okay. I'll join the bit when we're done with the n. Word yeah i think. Some of that's the difference of like you know some people come from the brooklyn comedy scene and you see the way that they're you know they're all the things they can't say whereas if you come from certain comedy scenes it's it's like you and your friends are like that and the difference is i. Think with with that kind of edgy stuff. Because you know. That's the video. I made with a little bit a lot of times. You'll have friends that are like oh you can't handle the edginess and you're pissing on ashes at a funeral that's edgy. you believe. this is one that i'll say the other thing. I but but those guys are hilarious. So it's like you know. It's it's funnier than it is edgy. But i used to see this with comics a lot even the pandemic like there was a lot of comics. We knew it. And i'm like guilty of this too. But they do show in parks like during the pandemic. And i was trying to not do any of that nonsense but there were and then you'd see them online complaining. Be like you know these pc pussies at the park or whatever and you're like that was a lady walking her dog and you're like yelling frigging slurs at you like oh you sorry. I'm twisting and you go. I don't really know that's what happens if these show up. It's like it sounds like we're bombing in having a picnic with her daughter that one hundred percent. Yep it's good to differentiate the two because a lot of times people are allowed to be met like if you go to a show and it's like oh a christian audience let's say for example and then you you're talking about like having sex you know like glory hall for ten minutes and they're bombing and you don't switch and then you do forty minutes of that and they all leave. That goes offensive. There was no like foul play. It happened there like they had sensibility. You didn't like it. The difference is sometimes. There's this version where people will come there and bad faith like once your things like. They already knew they were there to get mad. And that person exist or even the opposite you'll go to a comedy club kill. Everyone liked it and then they'll write an article being like. This is problematic as bad. You're like i told a joke the audience and you want to add a third realm so there is you know i'm not saying there. Isn't this war going on so to speak. But it's not always that. And i always feel like you look around the room and the really funny guys are still killing. You know that. That's a big thing. That e fucking funnier and then when you end up in this space everyone wants you to be like the poster boy for that stuff too right so people will be. You know it's like you can't say anything anymore. Like oh you can't anything on stage and i'm like i do good. Do you think i'm just bombing every night like. Hey mike. i'm do well so they want you all. You can't see anything first of all because this is a right and left-wing always do rights. Like i was watching this. Bill o'reilly. Because i watched insane clown posse videos and then next thing you know. I'm like nine hundred vas videos deep but the Bill o'reilly was interviewing this clown posse and he was basically saying you know Do you think that don't you think you have a responsibility to say things like these are bad things to say. And they're hurting society hurting people and you know this is harmful your words and it was like the exact same thing that like hollywood people are saying now and you go it just flip. But it's like there's always going to be a level of people you know church moms that are trying to tell you what to say. And that's just kind of part of the game. So what shaggy. Two dope and silent. Jay say to bill o'riley island j. Like pretty funny back in the day. He was kind of first of all. It's not our job to like. Educate your kids stupid know. I said that which which is the first part of it. But the second part he goes. People aren't as dumb as you think they are. Because they showed this video of this kid coming up and it's like twelve or whatever right and he comes up and he tries to buy he gets a cd sign and then violent j goes are go home and smoke some weed and he's like you are telling a child to smoke marijuana right and he's like no this kid's not stupid like you know what i mean. If you actually listen to our music like a lot of it is you know. It's all about family. Like they have their lame maslow's man actually listed. They get you in with. Like i'm a slit the throat and then verse two is like but low key like it's all about family and friends because you know you've talked about this. They're all the nicest people and they're all that kind of stuff too. It's like so their fans aren't stupid. It's like it's people that don't listen to it or don't pay attention and everyone has their own code of conduct. They're just like their moral code. Involves you're allowed to make jokes to each other. But they actually a lot of times other people will be you know that people that are like oh you know. I'm so worried about this. And they're the assholes. I'm like all these. I know these guys that are like stand up for women. I'm like you've been called your mom all that all the time i started so long ago we would find everybody who hated us online inevitably there. Em's would leak and they were all creeps. They were always pick. Yeah chicks we were like well another. I mean literally johnny dallas. It was all hockey twitter. It was all all. I forget their fucking names now. It was like there was like a three month stretch. We're just every day. Some would fall where it's like. Great another plus. We decided goodness. You've have a little foray with getting cancel on the internet yet. Since coming to america. I feel like it's just been nonstop that but because i have because i make my money independently. There's not that much for them to cancel me from. So it's more like if you you know if you do you know when shane gillis went on. Snl that's when they got him. Like when kevin hart to the oscar is obviously. He's fine but it's it always happens when you try to enter their world of you know the industry it's like there's like you know they always talking about turf. It really is that they're like because there's like you know you created the industry. It's like okay but you don't own podcasting now you don't own you know. Stand up you. Don't own really like the youtube space and by the way they always have like. I say these people are kind like japan. 'cause they always looking for world domination. They're like probably sensor podcast. Housing estate near common things. Don't go unregulated untaxed for very long. So the like i remember talking to she and gillis thinking like what you just said. It's when you try to go into their world that they get you and it's like so. Why even do that. And i remember saying shane. Why do you care like why you do you even want. Snl he was like. Yeah yeah. I wanted to work out. I definitely would have been a good thing for me that you feel like you know. I guess i could go out of conference own but is it going to blow. My whole shit up is got socked with us and i have both because like i. Actually you know came up in like punk bands. And i've been doing this for a long time so i actually do have the i'd rather be part of the counterculture rather kind of you know. I like the idea of not being beholden to those other things but then there's the other part of it. Is that unlike filmmaker. No it's not even the money like you know. I got some key. It's not even that you know what i mean. It's more like i. I wanna make like a television show like again. You know what i mean. I want to be able to hear his making sketches and stuff like that. I'd love to be able to do a sketch in a gymnasium with like eighty five extras. Like i like. I want to and again. We're talking about like independently making a movie right now. So there's lots of ways to you know. Still do stuff but i like at the end of the day. It's like a lot of people will say that to me. It's like what are you need those people any more. Whatever it's like. I if i was like a comedian podcasters. That would be true. But i i would like to make movies and i would like to make tv show. So i don't know exactly where i'm sitting in that but that's the truth but what i want to be like a cast member on now like no. I would have been better job when i was in my twenties. I'm thirty five right now. I feel like i would want to do that. I wake up and go to where. Where's an embassy. Whatever yeah yeah. I got a i- subway up to mid down for work you know writing i with a bunch of nerds one hundred grand a year. Like fucking man dude man. I'm not commute door. And i don't to do that. And that's that's the one thing that's so cool about new york and versus where i'm from but i when i like a lot of my friends here. I'm sure you guys do well. Like lot of my friends have a lot of money. So you know what i mean. It's this whole thing where they used to be like. You know the dream was. Will you could bitch all these stuff and maybe you can show a comedy central. And the first year you'll make two hundred grand a year but if that works out you know you can make a ton of money and be schumer and you do all these pitches and your those people involved in. It's like our friends who like five million dollars you know like you'd never make this easy for me like i'm not saying i have that but it's like don't us that crew yet now gains time you know what i mean like quick comics andrew and dim them like yeah logan hall like you think you're like working you know regular rooms to like. Oh i the millionaire. Yeah and if you think kevin harlan they cancel them so speak from the grammys. I mean you know at that level and those small things it's all for show or whatever but who got hurt more kevin hart or the grammy's did probably had like terrible viewership so that thing words and i actually thought that would work out. Well because i think it was the oscars whatever was but ended up being way more entertaining because a host really doesn't fucking matter like on a show like that. It was like it ended up being. I ended up being one of the better reviewed ostra nights. It was like all right. There's not the fucking drag out ellen degeneres with a fucking orders pizza. Everybody can do the award. Just show me who won best picture. It's all about. I don't wanna see like the most re tweeted picture of all time or whatever they did with. Brad categories oscar should have what like six categories total. Maybe like four the rest of that should is for the parts the and they should just tweet them but just always i'm with your accomplishments. All those awards are such a joke right now too because it's a whole that same thing where i here's a perfect example like canada is super trying to be the right like woke or whatever you know what i mean like. Here's our here's the top comics for the year and and so they really saw these articles and it'll be like the ten top comics of the year. And i'll be like the video i made. Yesterday has more views than all of them. Come online for the entire careers and you go. It's like people have is no you guys just said you've been hearing about me and stuff. It's like imagine what it's like in toronto comedy scene like you know what i mean in that respect so they go in there like yours. Ten comics legitimately like saying. Here's the top like basketball player of the year. And you're like oh who is it. Lebron they're like no no he's actually a girl and she plays college has made. Like what are you talking about. You have is mad nece. And that's like i mean we set it forever with the like if you're if you're award show has never been nominated. It's always sunny in philadelphia. I don't take you seriously. Yeah i know that you know period you have people are shows that have proven themselves out that never even get a nod and the trick people too because here's a perfect example like everyone. If you ask girls they would think girls is like this insanely popular. Share a huge showgirls. Like it wasn't like the that high is just one every award like actual viewership. That was not that popular. I was kind of like a cool hipster show or whatever you know if you're into that or whatever but like that was not a big hit by any means it's just the they changed the context but now i think people it's like you can only lie to people so many times you know what i mean. It's like your friend. That's like i got these honeys common their dimes in after like the fifth set of five. You're like. I don't think we listen to bugging dave girls. They lost their vowed. I had a friend like that. I had a friend who would like to joke that he was like a medical need for pussy like he was just would. There was one time we got in a fight because he would. He would always pulling out girls. You'd be like like it was in college and he be like this. Girl hottie hottie. This holiday coming up and then we drive up and it would be a guy and i'd do. Why don't you just wait until you see the person. Why why do you. So why is it so necessary for you to point out a woman to me. Wait to make sure it's a woman like just just it doesn't matter if you wait fifteen more seconds and say that girls hot. It was the craziest thing over being like are we just thought we. Don't listen to damian about girls anymore. Because most of the time. I use a job where i say some guys just into. It'll be like checking that girl. I'm like the one in the mobility. Scooter greenwich village. The comedy scene there. The like there's all the cool hip black guys or whatever right which is always like you know a bunch of white nerds and then like a bunch of cool black is like you know. Get girls but those guys you'll be standing with them and they'd be like man how you doing. What shows you how you do it all good okay. Whatever whatever whatever so yeah anyway. Have at ten o'clock spot at. They can't yeah. I've always thought that way the amount of courage they always had. I would never never. I'm like maybe. I'll go talk to her later. I'll do that after a couple of drinks. Yeah go. I was always so envious of that action at all. There was my one friend. Just got anthony and toronto. He's like hood lack dude like he went to jail and all that stuff right and he i remember he was telling me some sad because he has a daughter and he was like yeah. It's just honesty. grow up like in. And she's like she was getting suspended or something he was like this story or a couple of us and mid story. Two girls walked into the strip club next door and he goes. Yeah and that's the about having you know you always go. And he goes wants to and he goes nothing and he tries to pick up. The girl gets her number comes back and he's like daughters man they're crazy always bring it up talk his daughter story but his daughter go pick up two girls and going into this game so you guys are using or what no i. I'm retired. I mean that is crazy to even switch out of that scene at all your nuts for a young man's game a little bit too right but my trajectory was like you know the ten second version was. I had this like pretty significant. When i was young. And then i got like a tv show jackass kind of style stuff. So i had this. I was doing this cable access show with the band. And i was doing all these sketches on the internet and releasing all these funny. Dvd's with the band and then that tv show kind of my whole thing. And then during that. I was doing stand up and then i i was just so much more focused on that. And that's kind of what became my life and then but also it's like waves right like we were part of like this kind of punk movement. That kind of came and went as well. It's kind of like you look at like let's rock or something. You know big limb biscuit. That was a moment where those bands were huge or whatever but and they can still were like they can still go and fill seats but like do you want to hear limits new song. Of course not so. It's sort of to some degree. It's over unless you start. If i wanted to if i would want to do have pivoted and made a career probably would. It became a dj like that was like sort of move at the time. Yeah dude he was the exact switch like thinking about forever. It was like all these tattooed dudes and bands and stuff like that and then the industry sort of switched over to hip hop and then where did the tattooed band guys go. They all became detail. That's that's a good. That's a healthy dose of self awareness to just be like guys this is over and we're not going to be pool soon so i'm gonna go do something i mean i know you fucking doing. Yeah i don't think i said that. Quick wave a little bit. it's easy. It's easy for me now. The later it'd be like i got the beak. I think it was more like where. Gm is now up to a little bit there with downs ball on any of that nonsense is important. I just saw pussy what he was on. Cnn hours ago telling everyone. I'm going to hold the line. Because i enjoy the means of cuomo. I saw him because he said he goes like. I'll sell over my dead body. I'm going to hang the laws fail on the movement that quick. For seven hundred. K fucking ashtray. Money to portnoy. Now what does he care insurance dating. Yeah i got in a little alley. You could have made seven hundred grand selling t shirts that said go down with the ship. If he just went down with a bucket ship. I think had a better story. Yeah you know it's not fourteen. I couldn't believe it. Yeah that was funny too. But i'm the whole was. You tweeted something. That kind of reminded me of something that i was thinking because the problem with the game stopping and why i didn't you know my buddy runs a site hard money and we were going to do like a cab video about it and i thought about it a lot and i couldn't. I didn't really. It's the opinion that i kinda hold is on the side of the mob. And i never really you know. I really felt like pitchfork. And i don't like i think it was you that tweeted that. What's the guy's name that owns the basketball team. Baseball team steve cohen made about was it. You that said like you guys are directing your anger at him and it wasn't his fault so and i saw get killed on that right like people were like you kill yourself. You know what. I mean like never speak you know in this kind of felt like the way people are with trump where it's orange man bad. It just felt like starting to feel like every take was just finance man bad. And it's even if i kind of agree with them. It was like comedic wasn't funny to me to piling on weight. Yeah that's what it felt like so. I never liked to do that. If i was doing standup right now. One hundred percent might take would be like. I'm part of the hedge pro right. Yes from can meet comedic standpoint. That's funny right. i mean it was. It was a point where it was like. Well you're you're pump that you found like this little loophole manipulation to make money and then the hedge funds are going to do their thing to make their money. You can't you can't be matt like everybody's gonna do what they do to make money. Some people have an advantage so people. They're not yeah. Stop also see even what they're saying that you know that they're like oh well there you know there's collusion and all that stuff and it was like the most of you are the same people that were like pro collusion of big tech. Like what was it two weeks ago right like on these people and on top of that my friend my friend danny the guy that i do the videos with a really good point to me yesterday. 'cause he's like a big train runs a stocks that he was like. You know it may have started as like david versus goliath. Like you know the people vs fumble like let's not kid ourselves this hedge hedge fund like you think. Who do you think's making like all the the real money on. Gm gather fucking fun and they don't care where they're making money away right off. Yeah it was kinda like win. The corporations appropriate woke movements or whatever it was the same thing of hedge funds like power to the people love short-squeezing each other only. Yeah was when they were around twitter kind of like they. The pictures occupy wall street of them taking like drinking champagne and taking pictures. Remember how evil these people are. And that's objectively funny objectively. Funny the toast. Champagne people sleeping in a park. Boycotting stocks were they were doing but like just dumping champagne out smoking. Actually i mentioned earlier. We would frank rental go around and throw fucking balloons a champagne homeless people and own my taste taste good life. Yeah sack of shit fucking flooding. There's only two options right. If you're if everyone's if everyone's like you're the worst person in the world you know. And i felt this even a little identity wise last four years or whatever. Your options are one. Lis lis like me. Like i wanted the good ones you know or to be like. Yeah well whatever like go fuck yourself so right and the people who do that or like. They're easy streets like okay. You're cancelling me whatever like please like near the who are freaking out at issuing statements in apologies and deleting who cares this wonderful last night. I said some shit like when baseball news people did not were not happy. I call him john. I was like is this real bad or run of the mill bed and he was like mute. The conversation on twitter is over. And i did just like yeah. Nobody cares kevin call me. I was like dude. I don't even know what you're talking about. I've been watching the bruins game. I'm talking about is the number one story. Turn okay neither. Do you think you're still very important when you're getting yelled at like you think it is like it must be the focal point of the world. You think. I think we compared the storm. That's never gonna end. You can talk to your dad. And he doesn't even know what's happening. He doesn't even know what is and he was like. Yeah like loan us remember when the comedy thing was happening like. Let's say to louis c. k. Thing i remember being a family thing and being like you know obviously the thing that's happening with louis and they're like who thing i don't know who he is living under a rock and like the bald guy and go. Yeah what about. I go realized that like you're really not important until you are. You know kevin hart like a hundred fifty million guests like that until you're on that level matter you really what it is but it is still tough like i i. I'm better at nodding letting affect me. But the problem with because i would love to do that. You where you go. I'll just mute not look but there is an element where there's real things that do like cancel you. You know what i mean like. Let's say you were doing that. And people were getting mad and then they put it together a compilation of bad things he said and it started going viral. You also like are legitimate threats ideas. You what i'm saying. So it's like it's easy just not let it's like okay but then you might miss like you know a fight to that you need to defend yourself on for eight hours too. So it's kind of a world where it's hard to just turn it off because they are legitimate threats. Sometimes you like oh you didn't. You didn't realize that like jon stewart's been like going on a ranch about how bad you are for like ten hours and your phone's off and baking. It is like it comes to my door step then. I deal with it and filled dan. I'm not in my house right. You need a telegram. That's exactly. I think a lot of it is like it's like it's bullying in the sense of bullying lakers when you're younger and your parents are like again. If you fucking don't care then they will stop invite. Yeah no i. Don't give a shit that you don't like that joke or that tweet. I said and then like they can get yellow you for eight hours but if you fucking taking that parade hours. He doesn't seem to care about this at all. So we'll move on to someone who we can mentally torture and truly affect that is possible trying to get a rise. He does describe like the whole culture of just like the bullying overreaction. I kind of used to say this before. But you know in like let's say someone came up and he was like like super homophobic. Let's see your with. Some dude is gay and he comes up. He's like f- we're in your show but legion is gay. He's saying this shit and he pushes them whatever. And then you guys are like this and then you like knock them out or something right and then everyone's like all right whatever and then if ten more guys pylon and start like stopping this guy's teeth and like break his skull i you know you're like whoa this guy's never that's how it feels like they have no nuance of what's the reaction that you know as reasonable for the crazy the raise. I gotta tell you stupid. Lose their point. You know what i mean. It's kind of like well. I was going to be with you until be back this far with it and now it's like all right now. You guys suddenly Astles do you make it. Yeah they make it difficult to be on their side. And i see that on both sides where people are like the. You kind of agree with that. I you know it's like this girl is like oh this guy was a creep me at a bar and then she was like okay. So what i want you to do is like kidnap at. They're right right right. Well it's only a matter of time before you get channeled ryan so make your money while you jan. They're like oh you guys can't be in the industry we're gonna fire you from your jobs and you're like what jobs yet. It basically one level above unemployed as it is now. Yeah you guys worked for failed. Gm each raiders. Breakout i still. I still have strictly. Because i don't know how to sell it. Come on stop to be fair. I haven't put in a ton of effort to figure it out. But i'm just like whatever how did you buy it. I bought it was honestly shockingly easy to buy. I've felt like they should ask some more questions. Just a quick five question to see what my financial abilities are and it was just like. Oh you on this point here you can have it now and then it's all down to like four dollars or something like that like it's just it's all gone on. I'm gonna have it forever brother who's like He's like not into any of this stuff. He's like a gated. like super. could not care less. You know what i mean. Guys hate the stock market. How do i get sparkled. I just wanna suck dick lebeau alone visa. Yeah he's like a chick you didn't care what's going on with hedge funds you know but he mashes me and he's like you hear about this game stop thing i'm going to buy it and it's kind of like that old saying like when the shoe shine boys starts asking about stocks. I literally said my check. I go my brother just asked me about this. It's gonna crash ten zach. This is over. But i still have like five grand and for me. It was more just a habit to hedge against fomo around to be in on the joke at one hundred percent by the way for like five hundred bucks. But we'll do five grant. But i don't think you have to know your amounts like i have a fairly high risk tolerance i think and i was like if i put five hundred dollars in and it tripled. I don't think i would have. I still have five. Thousand was enough where i'd be like all right. I got in on it. I love it. But i'm up and now i'm back whatever. It doesn't matter everything else is cooking so it didn't matter punk rock money. You've got no money buddy. I think a couple of times dude. My by me i had. It is so funny. 'cause like dumb we all do but i have five thousand dollars. Probably i was up to fifteen thousand dollars or whatever it was and be entire market was tanking. So i've done way more than ten grand and i'm like killing it one's dog with like everything else is getting walloped. Instagram's what ryan long comedy. Yeah everything's at rheinland comedy. Every monday i released a video at youtube dot com slash ryan lum comedy and my podcast which is first podcast. Just for boys. So girls aren't allowed to listen. And that is the boys gas with ryan long platforms and patriot dot com slash boys gas for extra episodes. Shit man thanks so much that time. Don't be a stranger. Thanks on you guys are the best to i appreciate it. I like where you guys are doing. You're killing it out because these guys all right big. Thank you to ryan long. The maybe the biggest regret of my life is. I got a text message that i needed to read right when he dropped the stock market. And i quote making a joke. Well that's why it's really funny comic joke but he out he said so genuine. He doesn't give a shit ever now. We'll be a joke like that. That's like the new like code word almost like using that god cares about the. Yeah a guy over here at the bar but just a funny fucking dude all around. Who's absolutely killing. It and also. Nick showed me a picture of him in the middle of the interview that i didn't bring up because i thought it was just not him business like punk days. Yeah yeah because he said he already has that like. I was not surprised to find out that he did like the jackass type. Shit has that. Look but this picture whole so. Did you notice to things that he was like. Oh yeah i used to have way more of a punk. And i was like that means something like that. You know i racing see. He's wearing a ban. Now i noticed the band. I thought it was a tattoo. And that's all right. He did not do that. You never heard to downplay his own success prior success. He's very open and cocky. Which i like but the whole area. He's not this band that he's just saying like i'm pretty sure to kill it like you would. Tv show. yeah. Yeah by the end of it i was like. Oh you're fucking bam more. Jared talking candidate you look just like i was gonna say i thought insulting or something right. Looks just like spa and probably had as much fucking money hasn't too. I was like okay. You had an entire. I like career tire. I act like you know crazy man so shout out to him go follow like you said on all platforms. Because he's about to be the next big thing and now we also got to take on the show. Mr seifi who is in every scifi show. And he's in the. What do you do the voice over for star wars does the voice star wars katie uso. I mean a laundry list of Who type movies and tv shows from allen. Two-day closer. how we doing today. Hey tastic thank you are. Y'all good where. Where are we right. Now with this These flowers in the back. And i am in vancouver hollywood north as they say there you go. You got a tree back there. I liked the flower setup for such an orchestration gentleman. This kind of perfect the dishes. I think that is an order to thank you that well yes. I just dropped organizations and named the flower. I'm having a hell of a day. This is great man you coined a new word. What's so so van. Vancouver like he said is kind of the. Hollywood north is that what's going on right now. Are you fill in something kind of on that little that little. I don't even know what to call it. This little town. You guys are creating for hollywood. It is No shooting resident alien ear. And my wife and i were up here for that. And then when covert happened in march they shut down production all productions in town and All of my fellow cast members traveled back to los angeles and my wife. and i. it's spring. Why go back to la. And then they shut the border. We're like why go back to la and then we fell in love with the city and then we asked ourselves by can receive. Why go back down late so we live here now so just full blown k. You're trapped in a country that's taken cove and seriously tough more seriously. Definitely it's a it's a great place. If you ever get a chance come on up. It's it's a it's a blast so you think you're staying there permanently chill when my wife is canadian so can i can get dual citizenship. Definitely i i don't know i guess i should go back to la at some point I will But i haven't been there in a year. That's why it's i feel like this time You know so. Many people kind of made some bold decisions you know to get out of town or move or you know especially people getting out of la. There's exoduses from certain cities. But i kind of envious of the people who did it and the people like yourself would just pulled the trigger and made a move like that. Yeah it's lucky you know it's not cheap city. It was lucky that we could do it. i does she ask yourself the question like what's right. What's the point of it. All his life is so easy to just keep doing what you're doing. You know what i mean. It's just like i could move. I could do this. That i'm just gonna keep to go to work. Come home and go to work at home but it comes a time where it's like. No i'm actually gonna do this shit. It's like why not why not make apple trigger. We were forced to we. Were all forced to stop and take inventory. Take stock of what we got going on. And there's a park here called stanley park. Which is it's a temperate rainforest which is great for kids by the way usually you get an orchid if you get an orchid they die and that's it it's just a stick and he kind of just throw it away but these things start replay bloom. They come back. it's it's just a a place. Everything grows the park is one third biggest been central park and they just let it grow. It's it's right out that door your urine outdoors stuck in here with us. I'm gonna run and later. I'll get out there. What's what's going on with. The canadian stock market up their house game stop doing has allowed to trade or what i saw some about that. I don't understand stocks not much. Uh alan nobody. Does that the game serve until we're learning right now. Is there such a thing as the canadian stock market or do i sound really dumb. I think it's i think they just you know trade on the american stock market. You know there's kind of a lot of things you know. America's a huge influence on canada From what i can tell. And there's a lot of respect for america. A lot of people grew up here like really looking up to american. My wife came to america. She loves american. Wanted to always wanted to come and be american canada's bat. I think this might be a take stock moment for some people in canada who might be on the candidates really got its own thing but i think it'd take stock moment for america. I think people you know we used to be a punchline. You know we used to make fun of canada and then all of a sudden it was like whoa wait a minute. You guys doing everything right. And we're doing everything wrong. Punch i think as you were saying like can they used to look up to america. It's like athletes. I used to look up to as a kid. And then i kind of grew up. It was actually a piece of shit never mind. I don't. I don't want to be anything like him exactly. America nobody wants to be america when it grows up everybody's remarking when the kid and then they're like wait a second. This place fucking daddy's my hero. He's been drinking america's the ankle. He always had fun with as a kid. And then you grow up wade. He was just drunk at christmas the entire time. That's why he was playing with the children toy But we're doing a little bit of a little bit of research on you here and one of the stories that stuck out to me about. She was that when you were younger. You wanted to be a standup comic of sorts or you wanted to entertain and then at a holiday inn in jacksonville texas. You were threatened with violence and have never done it again. Yeah that's right okay. I'm gonna victim blaming real quick. I didn't do anything i didn't get. My stuff was not where i was. I was in. I was eighteen years old. I didn't I i had done. Stand up i've worked at taco bueno in texas When i was sixteen to eighteen loved that job it's like better taco bell taco bueno. Sounds like a made up store and friday night lights. Yeah when you when you have a makeup taco bell but you can't use it because of right so we'll talk yeah really existed. It was actually really good at one point. Then they went a little too corporate there around nineteen eighty nine as always the way taco. bueno But i i did. Stand up at the christmas party and was one hundred dollars or one hundred award For whoever won the talent show. And i've won one hundred bucks and then i took. I took back on the road. But i went to college in east. Texas and jacksonville did it for a talent contest. The jaycees talent contest and a manager at the holiday inn saw me. You manage the bar. And he's like. I need act for my bar on wednesday nights or whatever it was and so we'll get to your friends to put together a stand up as well and you do. Thirty minutes sets a piece thirty minutes thirty minutes. That's not a hard five thirty. Yeah people people work. You know years to craft a thirty minute set. It's that's no joke. Yeah yeah. I had a thirty minutes my thirty thirty minutes. That was really strong and then it sort of got watered down. Because it'd be like two weeks later. I need another thirty minutes a new thirty minutes because it's the same people and it was my third thirty minutes at it wasn't as strong and there was a guy who had met the audience before and he was wasted. He had these two girls on his arm. And it was. We're cutting up. He's funny and i was laughing and he was sitting right down in front of me and i had this terrible bit which is inappropriate now was inappropriate thing but doing san give us a the framework year and outline of that bit. I'll give you the framework. I won't do it But i had a guitar a blind. And i had a a singles like this song is a is a beautiful song It's was written by a soldier who was in vietnam and this song is the story of the woman he left behind and she An tuning the guitar. And she gives birth to their child while He has left and so she. The child is not going to have a father and as she gives birth. She sings her love for the gi. That is now gone. And then she dies in childbirth. She's something like this. And i played just the top top to get like that. Very quintessential asian kind of sound. Like on a. I don't know what that instrument is called sitting and then i'm just screaming in gibberish. Because i'm giving birth to a baby and screaming in some racist vietnamese ask language and You know giving birth and and yelling in and dying. It was so not the kind comedy you would wanna go find at a holiday inn. I don't know what to do. Want to find that komo news time. Nine thousand nine hundred ninety nine so nobody lacks. Everybody was just disturbed. And except for ray was right there and i was like ray gets people. You gotta cut you. Gotta you gotta. Somebody's got to figure out what raise drinking is rain. Knows what he's talking about right buddy and he did not like being part of the show and he stood up with double middle fingers. And he's f. you you mother ever. I'm gonna kick your ass and he's just right there there's no actual stage. It was just a dance for holiday. Inn bar is all on the same. And i'm thinking this is when bouncers come and swoop him up and take him away and bouncers here. It's a holiday bouncing afraid for my life and at eighteen. Nineteen years old. So i was it. Yeah it's okay. That's good now and very awkwardly change. The changed into the rest of material bailed on my new material went back to my old material. Got up and as fast as i could and he was still threatening me as i left. taken our equipment out another song to do because i would do a comic music. Do these songs to threaten someone down. Their own set at the holiday inn is just really the lowest of the low like let a guy let a guy get out of town. I'm pretty sure everybody in their wanted. Ready to kick my ass. That would have been a better show for the wasn't like anybody who was on my side like i am. They were mad at me not because it was inappropriate material borderline racist inappropriate. It was because they didn't get it. They hated before it. They were mad that i thought they might get it. It was an insult the flip the scripted and completely flipped like now the crowd like right gets it tell them get them yeah the trials and tribulations it's grind out there man. I would have been different a different life than i did. I got into After that school. I moved to dallas. Where a couple of years. And i did Improv on the improv troupe. Doing like sports. The sports type games and i enjoyed that much more. What what. what's the. What's sports improv. What does that mean like does that. What does that look like. Oh it's like it's where you go. We just had those games there. You know like we're going to do the same scenery. They all have different names. We're going to do a scene. We're gonna take us suggesting we'll do a scene and then after that will do it in three different styles give us a style shakes. Let's see so their games and they used to have a thing called theater sports where two teams this is in dallas. They were arrival. they were. i don't think they knew that we were arrived. We consider them arrival. I think that's how all high school rivalries work like arrivals in high school did not care about us one single but now there's no vice versa. We are on a different level here. Yeah so you know the standup career ends in a born in debt and jacksonville texas and then you go on to do like i mean every god damn movie. I've ever seen in every cool and funny Stand up movie sci-fi project and comedy project. I mean you've had quite the prolific career. I feel like you're one of those guys that's always like. Oh he popped up again like there again. So i i think you made the right choice in the end. I think ray might appointed you in the right direction because it's been a good run. You know what. I need to have a lot more appreciation for ray wherever you are you know to son of a bitch was. Would you go to juilliard after the improv texas. Yeah yeah so. I was in dallas for two years and i doing play and it was terrible. I i did the first rehearsal and it was. It was awful. It was like it was a play about aids and i had this big loss. Marianne you've been working with death during child nominee comedy but the directors are like all right. It's like a wrap. This whole monologue is like a rap and i remember so you think here is can. It's cussing buddy because these are these are the lines of a play so these are not my words but the play was as i remember it. She tastes my fuck. I give her sex in lids in my last i. And she's like push it like that. Like a rap and it was so bad. And i did this rehearsal about an hour and a half and i went home and drink a bottle of wine when i when i think of rap year the first face that pops into my mind you know of course of course My old days puppy writes. That was Kabbalah wine and said i need to get out of dallas. I need to go to a real school in either new yorker l. a. And i asked somebody at one of the improv shows. Just some actor. What's a good school said juilliard school. And so i had. I didn't know anything about it. I may have heard of it. But i looked it up. Call them what i needed to do to audition and then went up to new york and audition that you ain't got in and so you didn't even you hadn't even heard of it and you would like the guy's like yeah one of the best they basically. You're a guy who's like. Hey i want to do something in science like and they're like harvard shot and then he just fucking gotten like that. Yeah but you didn't graduate right. Which i feel like is a regular thing with juilliard. Students were like almost the more successful. Maybe it's just like what i hear and like the books i've read like robin williams and adam sandler and stuff like that but like the exceptionally talented ones seem like they don't graduate a lot. It was it's known when you're going to school there. There's you know the the running list of who didn't who who bolted in their third year right and how they're doing. And even when i was there there were two actors to one left. Forget his name. He worked for a little while. And then i'm thinking accent anymore but anyway you watched them go on. They started working. And i just hated it there. I was not that we didn't do comedy that much It wasn't until my thirty that we really did any comedy. And i mean we had comedy thing that i was looking forward to. Nobody might class wanna do comedy. They all do tragedy. Shakespeare and it's great now but i was. I thought i was dying. And so i went i. I did a workshop one summer and did a play co bunny. Bunny works out this play. about gilda. radner allen's y bell who's one from the original writers. On saturday night live and was about relationship they became. It was almost romantic relationship. And then they became best friends and and followed them throughout their life and i ended up playing everybody else in the play. Somebody played alan's belsen. Like gilda radner. And then i played Twenty something rolls around it and that was sort of my strength and goes back to the improv stuff doing context of a ton of characters and a french. Wait there who shows up in these studies and the the the. I'm trying to sell them the. I'm sorry i'm like doing bits. And then i'd come on this guy. Who's who cameraman. It's at chanel. Lost the dominant lay that accident. That's where i lost. His is and it was just a really good showcase. And i started doing that while i was at juilliard and when they did workshop the public theater i was like i'm out. I'm gone and when when you first got into juilliard. Did you ever think that at some point in your life you'd be a pirate camp. Is that true. You went to fire camp. I went to it. Was almost like yeah. It was it was like a scarborough fair more but it's all pirates. I lucked out. I lucked out with that. Because the guy who. Richard snell is the effects guy. Who's making my gold tooth for steve. The pirate and he's questioned me about. What is this role. So you're a pirate wire. You a pirate Dodgeball but we. I like yeah. Yeah it's a but he's this pirate and he are you making fun of pirates. No no no. It's this guy is representing man. Loves being pirated to he is. And he's like cool. Because i'm a pirate make fun of pirates pony tail and he's got jewels and he's got extra rings on what we're actually. I'm part of rum runners. That's my group. My pirate crew. Why and we've got a thing up in ohio coming up. They make rom. They make every year and everybody would spice their own versions of excuse to get the shit. That sounds awesome. Yeah i want to go to piracy. What of the rules. A drink romney say our. That's that's it that's it. They wrestled they just get wasted and wrestle and they shoot off guns see there were like powder guns no-balls them but you know i feel like growing up. It was like when i was a little boy was like you. Want to be like an injure or a cowboy or pirate. Maybe you sprinkling like astronaut. But it was always like those like the professions. If you will and i feel like i was always a guy like pirate pirates. They live when you grow up firing and then we just kinda stopped. Because you know it's kind of silly but join up with the rum runners and you can enjoy it as an adult. Let's go they. I hope they're still together. I bet you haven't even looked online but probably going strong now that the online presence is because that was we shot that in two thousand and three thousand four thousand four so internet wasn't what it is now was that we've talked to people who are on sets with such break in real quick the latest thing the rum runners did a virtual five k. Hell yeah so. They're out here getting their miles in and doing some running. I think it'd be out. They've made some changes. I wanna go party with those fun all right boys. Let's get a good night's sleep better. My shin splints but on that says we. We've talked to people who are not really on samba. cast a cast with so many great comedic minds. They say that it's actually exhausting to be on set because everyone's always trying to one up each other was dodwell comparable to that now. I don't think so. Could time's pretty fun it was it was. I remember like we the the director. Rawson marshall thurber rawson thurber marshall. I can never get as there's an order to it but He wrote that script with his buddies at college. Like he just had this script got it made by me. A ben stiller. Read our wanted to make and Oh he was all about playing dodgeball full out. So we when we were hearst we rehearsed with all of these guys and all the other teams that we're going to be. We were playing against and we were just playing a ton of dodgeball for hours and hours. We all throughout our arms in three or four days of doing this thing so for the entirety of the movie. We were all just stunk of ben. Gay were injured. It was it was fun. I don't think there was too much. Did you get a lot of going on a lot of like pirate stuff from fans afterwards. I could see. I feel like when dodgeball came out. There might have been a lot of like people yelling at you and pirate stuff right. Yeah we all got Ben stiller best bas nicole added. We've got after it got number one of the box office. Whatever yeah vesper showed up at my house but said average joes alum aside. And i'd ride that around venice beach and people would look at it see average joes. They look dr garman right repainted. Does he get sick that that. Like all right i get it. You don't have to do this every single time. Guys to repaint a really fast. I get that every once in a while still like here in a crowd. It's cool i have. This is like sci fi presence. I feel like both the channel and the genre of course with resident alien here but i feel like you get in with the say quote unquote nerds And it's you know it can be good for ads like the nerd. The nerds kind of have inherited the world though they took over from from marvel and star wars. And every game of thrones even all that stuff really took over and it was like you can call nerds if you want. But we're running shit now so i feel like that's a good Audience to begin with. Yeah and it's not a thing that i don't think any nerd you know doesn't wanna be called a nerd. It's it's it's a badge of honor right. I mean look. You know who's a nerd james. Gunn he made the guardians of the galaxy. One two suicide squad right. it's a bad ass. clark joe manganiello and is based on playing dungeons and dragons. Go tell him he's a dork is facing fuck. It happens to you. I'm a dork. Dork might actually get you smacked. I inner nerd. Geek is on the alma l. There was like the geeks that they used to bite the heads off chickens. That's what a geek was carnival geek. Oh wow yeah. Yeah a geek with somebody who they would bite the heads off chickens. That was the show on geeks or ozzy osborne. Yeah yes geeks. Jesus christ but yeah so. Resident alien is the show now. And i feel like so. What can we expect there. Some some sifi alien stuff but with a shot of humor in there it is it. Is the doctor alien drama that the world needs right now correct. It's exactly what that is It's about an alien who crash lands on earth He was here to kill everyone to destroy all humankind but he crashes and doesn't get a chance to set off the bomb then he was bringing and he takes on this identity of this man that kinda kills named he is a killer so kills a guy not totally kills him and takes on his identity. This guy named harry spiegel and it's in a small town in colorado and the sheriff comes out one day and says hey you're ari van der spiegel. We know you live out here near doctor right. He's like yes and he says well we need you in town has been a murder We need to do an autopsy. Use your own doctor. And he goes well. That's who was murdered. So he gets pulled into this murder mystery and he becomes the town doctor and is just trying to get by get caught while he's spending his off time looking for the device because he still has to destroy all humanity. Now i saw i. I saw a video of you kind of in the makeup chair. 'cause you were a lot of may on this and it reminded me that recently. Davidson has decided to cover all his tattoos because it takes up too much time in the makeup chair to cover them for roles. Have you considered maybe just permanently getting the alien face just becoming easier for if coburn last another year. I'll just do some some way to make that work that into because it is a mask It'll just have it a fixed. Gb later my head. Do you believe in aliens. Oh yeah elon. Musk and alien man look at him. He's now named his kid. What x twelve. I believe like throwing numbers on a name right like all this talk about getting into myers. He's like i just come home. You'd probably crash-landed didn't have some mardi mc fly shit like we don't have the power to get me back home and got a hang out here until we figure it out. He's trying to get back to his own his own neighborhood. What you build nealon rocket. Go wife's name as grimes like muster like. They're not even hiding guys. We're not look at us. we're fucking aliens. don't you not know it. it's crazy. I think sucker berg is not an alien. But he's a robot ailey have you. Have you seen how the side by side with sunny from. I robot you and ends october. Be the same exact facial features. It's insane you guys. it's really. It's aah not not the best zuckerberg you remember that time. You see if. I can find out if you i also read that. You play or played a magic the gathering kevin's a big magic was at least I've played still dabble. No i played it for a thing. i just. I was taught or ah gaming thing and One okay accidentally. But i had help and anyway. That was true one and done. That's some real deep nerd stuff. Because like i said a lot of the other stuff made it to the mainstream. You can't really call it nerdy anymore. But if you're still dow magic the gathering man there was this card. The black lotus alan. I almost bought the black lowest. When i was in fourth grade i was gonna spend like all my birthday money on. Who's going to be a couple of hundred dollars. And i didn't pull the trigger and it's worth like two hundred and fifty thousand dollars today. Some really. yeah it's like hugh. I mean you know we would have to be perfect condition and i would have had to take it seriously. I'm sure i would've liked lost it along the way but i had no idea. Oh yeah you can make. You can make big money on some of those rare cards for sure. I came away so many carton stuff like make the game they gave me all the rare packaging. Like millions of dollars auctioned off at a at a charity thing. Oh at least one guy. There's one guy who like everybody that nobody really was interested in it and one guy was just like bidding on all of them and you know mark zuckerberg now. He runs facebook. That's unbelievable. Wow all right well. We appreciate the time. So resident alien is the the show premiere last night on sci fi network so go get it like you said. It's the alien dr drama. The world needs today so Go go enjoy it and thanks so much time we appreciate. Thank you guys. Thank you hear this and these brady you give such by mancini no.