20 Episode results for "Vallon"

Venom Movie Review

Talk Nerdy to Me

10:26 min | 3 years ago

Venom Movie Review

"Hey, man. Do you like comic books? I love books. Do you like comic book movies that are made from comics? I, I like it when they stay kind of true to comics. Sony. I know. Not with me pain that you. Is a car. What Jonah classroom you play. All of each. What. From. So venom. At the Alamo draft house and beautiful month issue Abaza. Paso. Sri. I, I'm conflicted, I. I don't know, man, I think this movie be good if you didn't know anything about them. I think that's, I think that's it. I mean. The people we talked to didn't know about venom. Oh, it's a great movie. People who actually were up on venom. History were like. Yeah, they changed a lot of his history. And why. Yeah, I knowing who venom is and where you came from. Right. It was hard to watch. Right. I said the whole reason came to earth was different. The whole, how he got here was different change it really for no reason other than to cut Spiderman out of the story. Yeah. I mean, damn you Sony. It's so me lesson. I mean, even come out be even coming out. I had a hard time getting a few people to review with us because they're they're kind of disappointed leaving get this taste out of their mouth. I think so too. If you walk into this with no history of in them, I think you would like it. I think so too. I, it was. It was for me it was decent, but like with Sony just trying too hard. I, I mean, I had a problem with the music that the the music when they were doing the chase scenes and when they're doing the fighting, I was just kinda like face palm. I just I really had a hard time and I usually like most every movie we watch. Yeah, I had a hard time with how they changed the history and the origin of, I mean, you could chain, you can't the closest same without Spiderman in, but they didn't? Yeah. I mean, not even a mention or personally was even even even the the way he got from New York to San Francisco. I mean, nothing not no explanation, and I just, I think that's the part I hate when they change origins for no reason. Yeah. Leaves fan boys like us. Yeah, lose us, dude. Oh, you lose us really hard Troy. Yeah. I mean, I'm kinda scared now for more Bs. Are they going to do the same with more Bs? I don't know. Well, it's. This week. Else to review with us seeping by else liked it. Are we have our first move your viewer of venom. What's your name? Alex, Alex. I'm gonna cut trees. The point man, which thing about the movie. It didn't live up to the heights day one. Everybody was hyping for it. And so I had to save hype. But after watching it's, it was good, but not hype. I, I said this when I saw the first trailer kind of a little face palm and I was worried from like you since day one at was so like Sony just needs to stop. So stop knob Sony. Did you have any favorite parts or like joined at all? I mean, just like the fighting with Eddie Brock usually, and but not like with the venom venom suit. It's just like him assisting those like my favorite part because he was like they're trying like overdo it, Spiderman three. Of course, black cat. So you got any questions for man here. Did you ever read the books of them? Sometimes some. Were you pretty good on the origin of 'em. More or less. He came from he, he can't. He came from a planet full of oats and and he came down to earth in search of switch of a hose. He found deadpool I then it came onto Spiderman and then onto any Brooke. And then he split off into much more because they're. Humans are hosts, but I'll how venom reproduces he's as sexual. Oh, well, right. Yeah, he just split off from your closeness close to the origin. Yeah. Yeah. So what thumbs up down halfway. What do you think in this much. All right, thanks man. Okay. We're somebody else who Washington and what's your name, Sir? Anthony, Anthony. What did you think it was pretty great movie where you a fan of 'em before congress? Yeah. But when O'Connor's that's waiting. Well, what do you, what do you think? What do you think about the storyline Sony put out? I mean, did you were you expecting like a Spiderman cameo? What did you did you not like? Did you like it? You love it. He wasn't in it at all or mentioned Phelps led to angle right around at least get the fight on, but didn't go like that. But it was pretty still decent. Hopefully they make another worst by. Okay. So what do you think thumbs up to down. All right. Thanks, thanks. All right, man. We another. Person solvent them, what's your name in Luke Vallon, Luke, would you think about movie? I thought it was incredible. Although I heard some people saying it wasn't so good. I thought it was awesome. I mean, what? What are some of the things that I mean, not without small movie? What are some things that you liked about the movie? Okay. Well, first of all, Tom hardy is one of my favorite actors of all time. I, you can't go wrong with any of his movies. True. I mean, did you have a heart like knowing you you? You said you haven't? You don't read a lot of the comic books, but you've seen some of the cartoons. What do you think some of the things changed about the story of Adam. Okay. So I don't know too much in the cartoons of origin venom, but the way that they brought it into this one I thought worked really well. It was cool. I liked can't give any spoilers way. Right. Okay. So the origin story that they brought in this movie I thought was was really good. It was nice. So scale, like thumbs up down halfway. I mean, what? What do you give this movie? I personally would give it to thumbs up. I've thought it was awesome. The action was awesome. There was good humor in it. There were some parts in that that you definitely don't want to bring a kid to, but it was absolutely hilarious and and jam packed fullback Xinning. What do you think? What do you think about the not giving it doing the rate at Arbor? I mean, give it an rated r. arou- rating so I would have loved if they did rated r. it definitely would have been more venom from what I remember of the comics of the TV shows and stuff, but doing it the way they didn't is still works. Thanks a lot, man. She ate it. Thanks. Thanks. One one guy kind of liked it, and then one one guy like no one guy liked it, and the other guy was made a man in like, that's why I asked him. You could tell they weren't real up on the history relevant him in. I think that having that knowledge kind of colored my my thoughts going into it. Yeah. I mean, parts of some of the, there's some humorous parts between venom and Brock with him being in his head, which I, I laughed at which that was one of the things I did like about the movie. I enjoyed it and it was just, I mean. I guess they changed Benham's whole personality. Yeah. I just didn't like I thought the comedy was not been ab- like, yeah, that's me. I. So my personal bean is like if you knew the background comic, the background, the venom where he came from, you're not gonna. You're probably not going to. If you just want good action film, don't have any knowledge of comics come eleven, I think so. Gonna love. Yeah, I think so. I think if you have like you said that you're going to enjoy it. It's not an Oscar winner anything. But I mean, I think you'll enjoy it if you have no knowledge of, usually I can turn off the fan boy purist switch and air, but it was hard. I couldn't man. It was just waiting much different for me. It's just this this perfect. The end of the season where major league playoff season Sony. Another swinging, amiss, man. I won't be buying this Blu Ray when it. Yeah, I won't either any everything else at Troy. Just GAM you Sony dammit. That's all I have to say, damn, you will with that. I like to thank Alamo draft house for housing, housing us, housing, hosting, housing, hosting, sorry, man, hosting letting letting us come here. Watch movies. Yeah, really appreciate that. Again. I like thanks, ROY again for letting Ray we're productions help out. And obviously thanks man. You're the one. Would that I'm Ray Jackson. I am Troy signal good night's sleep tight. Damn you all to hell. Not with me. Gain that you get is a car. What class you play. In all each e. What them girls. From.

Sony Spiderman Troy Eddie Brock Ray Jackson Alamo congress Alex Luke Vallon Brooke O'Connor Phelps Anthony Tom hardy Washington Oscar San Francisco New York Adam Xinning
The Merge 1-4: Wingman

The Fighter Pilot Podcast

33:07 min | 2 months ago

The Merge 1-4: Wingman

"Hello fighter pilot podcasts. Friends this is vincent alo. I hope you've been enjoying this month's simulcast of season one of our new sibling. Podcast the merge. Well today's episode four will be the last show. We play here on this channel but not fear episodes five and six which round out season one will air over subsequent weeks over on the merge itself which you can find and subscribe to on most podcast players including apple podcasts and spotify. You won't want to miss those last few episodes where we explain the mishap investigations and then have a special appearance by szucs widow sonia. So enjoy episode. Four of the merge season one and. We'll see you back here on september fourth to resume our regular fighter pilot podcast schedule with an episode on the h. One cobra. we'll see you. Then i a tremendous flash ending that flash there then were multiple streams of of movement. The one that caught my attention. I moving from to forward was of an f. Five that just after fuselage started to just part it's essentially started to crack hass. hey welcome back to the merge. I am your husband's in ireland whether in combat or just everyday life a person like you or me is more vulnerable to threats alone than with a buddy partner as we all know can help you out of the pit or more. Ideally help you avoid falling in one in the first place for this reason. The basic air combat fighting element is a flight of two aircraft. It's known as a section in the navy and wearing corner to ship in the air force but the to cruise in these flights meet in advance for a briefing on that day's mission and the flight specifics. Like the weather and what they expect to be doing. After the briefing the cruise then gear up for the fight together. Start up at the same time and taxi and together they fly the entire mission in a coordinated manner before returning to base and debriefing. The flight again together pilots fly with different wingmen on any given day but for that short period of time a flight lead in his wingman are inseparable as the titles imply. The flight is responsible for the sections conduct and activities. Being at the right places at the right time in the wingman follows the flight lead striving always to be in the proper position performing the prescribe tasks but each of them always watches out for the other and when something happens to one it affects the other. One voice has been missing from our story so far and you found out why the end of the last episode stick it's wingman was. Jeremy should wise he was in the faa eighteen that collided with sloppy. No tools at five day and he didn't survive. I met jeremy as he checked into the faa one zero six as a fleet replacement squadron student where he was learning to fly the team at one of six. We had a program where you would assign a tenant who was a instructor pilot there as a fleet advisor poss- advisor so i was jeremy's class adviser when he entered one six very smart and he's very enthusiastic about the program and learning how to fly the. Sat that certainly is something that always came out anytime. We talked about Flying or anything. That i had to put out He was just like a sponge. Soaked it up. He was always very attentive. Yes lot of questions. He listened really well he was just one of those guys would always just. You just knew he was. Who's putting down. We had a number of flights where he was working on his level two syllabus. I was his flight lead. So there are a number of cases where we flew together in that capacity where there was again the student and instructor a relationship and then there was a number of other stories that we were on that were not that way that they were Maybe a part of a division flight or a bombing sortie or something along those lines. I don't recall how many flights we flew together prior to june thirteenth. But just like in any squatter and you're gonna fly with just about everybody. In the squadron at one point or another and more june you're qualified pilots who fly with the more senior qualified highlights more often than not just getting the training knocked out. The interview would stick it. You're about to hear is a good example of how military aviators are taught to think through complex and dynamic situations the level of analysis. He presents is consistent with the debrief and shouldn't be confused as dispassionate. The pilots gather after every flight to discuss what went right. What went wrong whether they accomplished the day's mission and if not why not june thirteenth was a friday. It was an unremarkable morning in that We got up. We were in the. It phase of vallon was a reasonable the early morning. Brief with that means is you you go. Into the main amphitheater there foulland and the overall strike lead will conduct overall portion of the brief and then once that is completed and the each of the components will break apart into their own respective briefs and so on that particular we were assigned the role of strike mission within the it p phase of found so we got up We got We got breakfast. We headed into the squadron We grabbed all of our particular gear. And then we headed over to the epa theatre where jumbo gave the brief. I don't remember anything. Remarkable about the brief. It was a very good brief. It was thorough. It covered what we needed to do that day. We were doing a defense in depth large force exercise where we had a number of aircraft dedicated to do a sweep mission to clear out any op. four aircraft And then we had a six ship of strike aircraft packer one through packer. One six their mission was to service two distinct and separate target sets packer. One one through one four. We're going to go to a southern airfield and knock out a number of targets there and packer one. Five one six were to execute a mission to a surface to air missile site which was geographically north of where packer one one. One four. we're going to go for easy. Identification tactical call signs are assigned to each aircraft and emission whether in training or in combat call signs are frequently chosen within a certain theme such as say automobiles chevy and ford or football. Teams cowboys and packers. Such was the case this day. Stick it as packer one five and should as packer when six were the last few fighters in the packer flight. Jeremy i attended the brief. We then broke into these strike. Brief where packer. One one proceeded to give his portion of the brief the particulars of how we were going to employ On our specific That day and then after that brief packer one five one six broke up into our own element brief and we just talked about the particulars of admin getting to and from the airfield into our rendezvous point and then the tactical admin of how we were going to perform g awareness maneuver how we're going to check our items are aircrafts in any other particulars that we needed to talk about for our ordinance that we had on board for our targets set a g awareness maneuver is a maneuver flown to assess the pilots g tolerance for that day. It begins with a ninety degree. Four g. turn left or right followed by a brief six g poll back to the original heading in it allows the pilot to assess his or her g. tolerance for that day and it's not always the same sometimes if you're a little tired or dehydrated or already flown that day your g tolerance might not be as good as it normally could only jumped in those jets. We started our. Ap's off the flight line of falun with the probably twenty to thirty aircraft that were immediately parked in the apron where we were and then we taxi to the active duty. Got on the runway took off. We started Heading out to to the op area. Into our run point tapes on fights on the air to air assets pushed forward tapes on fights on is the customary radio. Call to let everybody know that the official training has begun and to ensure the recorders are capturing it all of the aircraft in that particular flight pad. Football call signs. I don't remember who the air guys were. But i remember. We were the packer flight. Your air guys pushed out and They started clearing the way packer. One one will call for the push and so we'll start out on our strike route at this point. We're going from east to west in the fallon range training complex and as we are going down range there begins to be indications that there are vis caps out in and around the valleys in between the mountain ranges that run north south through the founder inch as we began to listen up to what the air picture was As the as the blue air retired we were in the high altitude block as we typically. Are we start out Our push this contact was called low. So packer one five one six needed to lose a tremendous amount of altitude in order to get to that merge the block structure in fallon at the time was five to nines for blue air and zeroes to fours for red air. So what that means for us was we started in twenty five to twenty nine thousand foot block and as we descended we could not be inside else's block inside of ten nautical miles of that merge for quarter so we came down in leveled off at fifteen thousand feet has read that merge or approaching that merge roughly on a westerly heading packer. One five was on the left side of the formation of packer. One six was on the right side of the formation Slightly stepped up and to the north of the formation initial indications on my radar attack display. Were a single aircraft heading inbound to our position at fourteen thousand feet. I attempted to get a radar. Lock fourth quarter but i was not successful. So what about approximately. Three nautical miles decided to stop with the radar. Just looked outside to attempt to pick up a tally at that point proxy three miles at my eleven o'clock position slightly low picked up a single f. Five a to which. I call the tally single at five. And once we had three nine line passage i broke level hundred eighty degrees through south across his tail packer. One six joined in that left hand. Turn through one hundred. Eighty degrees of turn The gut site designation on the f. Five as it was continuing its right hand. Turn and we got set up for another pass. The first pass was left to left in the second pass. We were setting up for a right to write. Got the foresight site locked. Took the shot and was in the process of calling the kill on the f. five when additionally called a flow heading back to two seven zero so now a big hundred eighty degree turn back to the right we had ordinance onboard captive carry ordinance onboard our aircraft so we were limited to one hundred eighty degrees of turn So we executed that in through that first one hundred eighty degrees attorneys. Where packer one five got. The initial shot called the kill and then the flow heading at which point now at thirteen thousand five hundred feet packer. One five starts a right hand. Turn to resume the original flow heading of of west t. seven zero Somewhere a in the process of starting to roll out on the heading to seven zero. Something told me to look back to the right. And as i look back to the right which is through north of the formation. This point i saw a tremendous flash and in that flash their then were multiple strains of of movement the the one that caught my attention. I moving from after to forward relative to to my canopy was of an f. Five that just after the fuselage started just part and it's such we started cracking half the tail section. I noticed that. And then i also looked further aft to what was the largest portion of a fireball and smoke and look just like nettle and hulk that was following after in a way further north. I watched that Part of whatever just happened fall and hit the desert floor to a very large explosion and there was a lot of dust from the desert floor that kicked up. I wasn't sure throughout this period of time. Who who was involved or what. What exactly had happened. My initial impression was somebody else somehow just flew into this merge or perhaps there was two aircrafts that and i only saw one So i didn't understand who that could have been as. I look to the north. I saw the two seats fire from the same. It was a timeless. But i saw the two seats fire from the same fuselage of the f. Five but also in that time lapse. I was also looking out at. What i didn't know at the time was the hulk of the fa team And then when i came back you know in that in that in that compressed moment of time from ejection to the blooming of the shoot. That's where i had taken my attention to the other massive movement on on the carpet after after watching the the larger of the two structures hit the deck i came back to what was essentially the blossoming of of to canopies to parachutes to full canopies. As they started to to go down it was also confusing because they tended to be in the same piece of sky very different from where the where the other aircraft had gone and there was a there was a glimmer of hope that that it was to single seat aircraft that had collided and that both pilots have made it out I also started making radio calls. And i wasn't getting anything back from packer one six. So so there was certainly heightened concern that my wingman was a part of the mid. Air that i just witnessed. I wasn't in a logical thought. Pattern where i could clearly say that this is the these two shoots coming from that f. Five that must have been a two-seater that that just didn't dawn on me until a lot. Later i called the knock it off and i brought up the data aircraft. Page on the on the cd. I noted the winds dropped the mark. I told the. Rt owed launched the helicopter. I kept my eyes on the shoots. I had also been making several radio calls on ox for packer. One six two which i got no response in the process of calm. Knock it off. Noting lat longs pass in that to the are chico for the sar helicopter watching the parachutes slowly. Descend down to the deck and making a number of radio calls to packer one six. The aircrew finally made it made it back down to the deck jumbo who was the strike lead initiated roll call on primary all aircraft roger up that call exception of packer one six and that's when i knew that he was one of the Folks involved in miss out there was still a bit of hope At the time that he was in one of those two kershaw's and therefore that's why he wasn't answering the radio call. It just didn't occur to me until a lot later That there were two people in the. I didn't know that at the merge. I didn't make that beck ignition. I didn't know it until i saw two parachutes wrestle two seats inject from that. I don't remember exactly this sequence of events in terms of the radio calls versus what i saw but but i did know that the rest of the air wing was knocking it off. And they were in the process of returning to base back found in most of our flight briefs over the years. You always talk about the sharp piece of a flight and so. I'm just trying to do those things that i had been briefed or i had briefed for all those years. Prior in the training was pretty solid. I i remember you know. Flying circles wide circles around the parachutes as they were on their way down. I remember setting a minimum altitude. Which i would not descend any lower. I remember passing as much data. As i could to the rt oh so that they could initiate the sar and somewhere in there. I think it was the or potentially somebody else come into came over the radio and told me to go home and i don't remember who that was but i do remember feeling remember thinking there's no in help i'm leaving and so probably a couple of laps later As as more radio calls came through. I think i understood that. Okay i gotta go. I'm not helping right now. In fact i might even be getting in somebody else's getting somebody else's way so i relinquished the on-scene commander role And i started to head back to found. So it's about a ten minute flight home Get the jet ondeck Without event taxi over I remember just shutting the jet down very abruptly once. I turned everything off and not going through the standard shutdown procedures that we have in the hornet. I just looked at the plane. Captain who is given me kind of puzzled. Look i just told him to drop the ladder. So i get out of that jet as fast as i could At the bottom of the ladder. I gave him a salute. He returned and he was still pretty confused on. What's going on. And i just told him that i would be back into not touch. Anything on the aircraft I grabbed the flight deck chief foods out there at the time and he and i walked back in toward the ready room toward the hangar. Where i kind of gave him the same. Just heads up just a. Something's happened in just make sure. Nobody touches the aircraft's by tapes. Were still in. The brick was still in it. I think i just grabbed my bag We walked out I got up into the ready room. where you met me Safety was up there In another department head stevie was also in the in the flight that day so he knew what was going on. He was in the ready room but he hadn't said anything yet. I walked into the ready room in i. Just i asked the skipper. If he had heard what had happened he said no. That's where i kinda broke down a little bit. And i walked in with a safety officer into another part of the ready room or they asked me just to sit down and and take a take a statement and collect my thoughts. Which is what i did. I think when i got back and out of the debrief with the safety officer one of our friends who is fellow aviator but part of the falun staff who was previously a valium as he came over to say hello and and to check in with his former squadron. He was the one who i said. Jeremy didn't make it and whether he knew that or whether it was based off of the speculation from the fact that the helicopter had gone out or that they only found two survivors. I don't know but that was the first gut punch for me. Hearing it from somebody. Other than what i had seen think the rest of that day is pretty pretty hazy other than i remember the squadron judge hoskins who is hercules of a man just said. Hey everyone's coming to my room and we're gonna we're gonna stay together and we're gonna get together and stick together through through all of this figure it out is what we're doing and we're doing it together and we're moving out and i thought that his leadership through that was a instrumental. I don't know that. I could have gotten through that events without the leadership that i thought that he was put into you know in such a short period of time. There was a a morning couple days later. He's not the next day later. Were the whole squadron. Got together we went out to the crash. Site walked the desert looking for anything that we can find. That would here. Maybe help us. Maybe he got out. Maybe he was somewhere that we can find him in. Helton remember walk in the desert floor of of and in the crash site. June fourteenth of june fifteen. Probably a saturday. When we got the thing. I remember in the days that passed was ceo came up to me and said hat. I got an aircraft that we want to confidence up on. So why don't you take it out. Shake it out a little bit and see if there's anything wrong. Confidence hop in the business is kind of a flight that you'd go on for an aircraft that maybe he just wanted to check system out or he wanted to go see if if the maintenance that was done on it got you know they got the job done or whether that needs continued trouble troubleshooting and so i took a jet out in the in the days. Pass just me. I don't think there was anyone else on the range. And i just for a little walk. It didn't dawn on me until the way until the ride home. It skipper doesn't have any confidence issues in this chat. He needs me to get out there and try and get back out on. One of my coping mechanisms was just to continue to dive into into work again back into the saddle into the books and completing the other events that we needed to do. Once we finished air wing fallon we had a brief stay at home reset with your your family and then you get ready to go back out to sea on a ship for calm which is a very intense and aggressive training pipeline for for the early out at sea and flying around the boat has its own unique challenges emission sets. That require you to pay attention to what you're doing as best you can. And it almost felt like there was a very necessary but quick movement. Back back to work to get the squatter where i used to go. I can say that the events on june thirteenth pivotally changed my approach to fly in in the aircraft. And how i wanted to be as a leader. It is one thing to read a black and white rule. That tells you what you shouldn't do or you can't do. And it is another thing to experience the down range of fact of not doing whatever that particular thing is that you're not supposed to do and what i mean by. That is very very hard to make sure that we're adhering to the training rules. That are in place as we conduct. What is a high velocity high risk evolution that is required to be good in the mission set that were chained to be good in and so every time from that point forward anytime i was talking about training rules with every wingman that i've had there was. There was a bit of a memory of what happens. If you don't abide by training rule or what happens if you fail to adhere to something. That could result in the kind of accident that i saw on june thirteenth. And so perhaps there was a degree of caution in how i approached. Some of the higher risk events like bfm or five underfoot pass Or anything else that that puts two people in a in a trajectory toward each other. I think it affected the way that i looked at fellow aviators and sailors and in a way that was reflective and more understanding of their family. Then maybe i had prior to this in that. Everyone's got one and the things that you have going on at home are just as important as getting into the books and being the most tactical aviator you can be that. There needs to be some kind of balance at the end of the day. The goal is for all of us to be able to go home next time on the merge robbie had the lead in i was his wingman to ship. Fa teens coming to target us in. So we your pressing them. I hear something. Where sloppy is tally. The fighters one of the fighters. That's when i just see this explosion right in my windscreen. This episode of the merge was written and produced by your host. Vincent i l. That's me and by dakota cast. It's produced mixed and edited by sean farina executive producers scott morris. Scott chafee and and rob grady original music composed and performed by slater yellow and mixed by slater ilo and james mcnary the merge has been a presentation of dvr productions.

packer vincent alo faa vallon Jeremy jeremy hass poss sonia
How To Be A Super Hero in Bed

The Dad-Splanation Podcast

22:31 min | 5 months ago

How To Be A Super Hero in Bed

"What's happening this is you say host region podcast. I cater working forty and in the book looking positive changes to lose weight and become stronger overall through simple lifestyle changes. I'm here to share inspiration. Putin lesson i personally learned lifting in my forty years on this year. Beautiful so they will start a discussion by talking. About how biki measurements will be simple as say okay theory. Take my blood pressure. i say. Then we'll move outdoors second segment in talk about how to become a superhero in four. We get into that. He likes to continue the conversation with me. Get on over to podcast. Jazz religion dot com slash. Vip insiders community where i share more entertaining story at hats. Keeps you feeling donor. Each and every day cast dot com slash. Vip again podcast dot dot com slash vip. The starting right now. Also ranking on apple podcasts or wherever it is that you're listening to this episode right now. Back june five star reviews and some beautiful words of why you love the show. So much really helped me get the word out and honestly one place. Your vote matter. Now let's move into our first segment with healthcare conversation so in this week's installment of healthy conversations we're talking about how blood pressure measurements or how taking your blood pressure will soon be as simple as saying to your smartwatch of your smart your you know your iphone or android. You know just saying okay. Take my blood pressure. Maybe you know so. I don't know if you heard about this. Or if you're like if you're already in the no but i came across few weeks back and thought you know i thought wow this is awesome. I love it and it's sat a national survey released in late january of this year by a wearable biometrics company called vallon sell revealed. They revealed that sixty two percent of americans with hypertension only measure. Their blood pressure a few times a month or less than i. Now this is important because experts recommend that that blood pressure readings should be done twice a day. So i mean you don't have to be a rocket science to see that we're a little off. These numbers are a little skew now to be totally honest. Many doctors that i personally spoke to have mentioned to me that they'd like me to take my blood pressure readings at least four or five times a week. Let's just about once a day more or less you know so anyway. The survey also found that seventy five percent of the responded saying they measure their. You know they'd be more than happy to measure their blood pressure more or much more. You know if they could accurately measure it passively. And that was the key to this whole discussion on this whole research study. Was this concept of being able to monitor your blood pressure on a passage level and this is actually something that i thought that i thought of in the past. There's been times when i had to keep an eye on my blood pressure and thought you know. I wish there was something. I can wear that with background. Check my blood pressure at random times throughout the day because be honest half the battle is simply remembering to take your pressure what is opposed to get busy. You're doing this you're doing that. You're checking your email. You're you're at work like it's really hard to remember to stop and remember like need to check my blood pressure right now. And here's the thing this device that was engineered by this valid. Sell kim essentially do exactly. How beautiful is that. Older device has some next generation. Calibration free cuff. Liz blood pressure technology. That funny enough has been available for like hearing aids and other ear based devices such as like earbuds. It's been available for over a year now but now they're able to embed that same technology the devices war on the finger and the risks including smartwatches and fitness bands and patches and post similar finger clips so valid cells. Bp technology can be built into a range of these passive form factors. That can simply warn like again like in the ear on the finger or or your wrists you know how like this portability makes it significantly easier for people to actually monitor their blood pressure on a regular basis. The way they're supposed to you know at random intervals. It should be done. You know so now you have the freedom to really build. Potentially life saving habits. Think about that if the devices easy to wear. And you have the data right at your fingertips now. It's just a matter of making the right decision with that. Data data is king. Like on your smartphone. If you lose your phone it's not that bad you know let's face it you know you simply by a new phone right data. That's on that that's a different story. You'd be lost without your calendar your contacts and heaven forbid you lose your social media life. You know what i mean. Maybe that's a little far fetched or little exaggerated. But you understand what i'm saying. This technology has the potential to really transform the way we monitor our health on a daily basis and now the company they're looking to get fda clearance for their technology to help manufacturers who are looking to embedded technology in devices. So they're actually helping them move forward with the clearance process. They've got the like they've they've actually got the ball rolling with more than one hundred granted patents and more than fifty. Beds that are pending. It's pretty sweet technology. If i may say so myself. It doesn't need to be calibrated and only requires a minimal amount of sensor data from what's already in use by the so called wearable devices today now i have to say that the company claims. It's the first commercially available. Embedded sensor technology that enables blood pressure readings throughout the day with the same accuracy as your current cuff or armband devices. You know. I mean they really seem to be legit. I looked and their goal is essentially to make an impact on the global hypertension crisis. I get it. They say by implementing these passive devices that people will actually use on regular basis. They're looking to make a serious dent for lack of better turns on this whole hypertension crisis that we have going on especially here in the. Us we all know. The hypertension itself is a silent killer. That's because they are pretty much zero signs you know other than if you're actively monitoring your blood pressure so keep an eye out for their technology come into a smart device near you a little sales. Now i'm serious man. It's really cool. Keep it keep an ear open for their for their technology. Vallon cell and remember the more you know better. You'll be so with all that said and done let's switch gears move onshore segment mighty man so hang on tight there guys. This is a whopper of a topic. Today we're talking about how to be a superhero in guys and ladies of your blessing. Me with your beautiful. Here's i want you all to listen because if there's any one bedroom topic that concerns men as much as size it's stamina how long they can last in bed. I mean this is a real thing. Even though most don't admit me coded. This is the very first time. I'm owning up to admitting that it concerns me for a whole mess of reasons and you know when you started listening to my show. I promised that i'd be unbiased. Raw and brutally honest and open with you all. So i'm putting it out there. I'm concerned about salmon in the bedroom. It's the god honest truth that being said you know the internet is filled with solutions for those who for those of you feel like you don't have enough lasting power but to be honest there's only some of them that are worth your time and attention. Now the question is how can you tell which ones are worthy. You know your interest your time and ultimately your money now. There's some sad news that little crush some eagles out there. So i'm gonna apologize for this in advance and it's this. According to one study that measured the performance of just over fifteen hundred men the average time a man can maintain intercourse data. Jackie is seven minutes. Get this man who suffer from premature. Jackie relation and this is diagnosed condition. They average two minutes again. This is tough to swallow for most men no pun intended and not all men who are looking to have increased stamina are diagnosed with it so let us put it out there and know that the treatment options are mostly all the same but again the question is which ones are worth your time. So let's get right into it. The first is biofeedback now. Biofeedback is simply a way to train your brain to better control your by for lack of better terms. That's pretty much it in a nutshell so by becoming more in tune with the triggers that cause you to ejaculate too early you may be able to better troll then so basically you learn to sense the triggers and then train your body to handle them accordingly or the right way. This is a viable solution for some men. That's not quite your thing. There's always the traditional medication. And that's the second thing is medications. There are specific anti depressant medications that are sometimes used to treat premature ejaculation known as ss arise and. I can't remember what that says. Four right now because i honestly i didn't write it down in my notes but you can easily google it and find out if you're truly interesting so anyway these s arise prozac paxil zoloft They can delay orgasm in men but they can also cause problems. You see these drugs take hours before. They're effective and they can sometimes cause like unwanted side effects like dizziness and drowsiness or even e d. and decrease libido and so if you're taking notes this is kind of the opposite thing we're trying to achieve here. You're you're trying to last long or trying to exchange that for a biscuit will here's one for you is our third point. Pelvic exercises pelvic exercises also known as candle exercises. Maybe able to help men just as much as they as they do women. But here's what trips most people is that. They require a consistent commitment. It's an exercise in like with all other exercise. They work by strengthening muscle. The pew boat kaka ogies muscle to be exact. How you pronounce it. I'm not sure letting known the comments at that. Sounds right to you but anyway to do these kegs exercises. What you do is that you flex the same muscle you would use to stop the flow of urine so like just pretend you've got to go for a number one and you're trying to hold him literally clenched its muscle for ten seconds and then release it. It's the same movement or same exercise or say muscle. I should say what you're aiming for is at least three sets of ten. Read each day boom. Tell you don't have time for this. Exercise don't have weights. I'm calling you out now. And while i do that. Let zip along to fourth tip. Desensitize irs desensitizing creams and gels work to essentially no or lessen. the sensations. Inmates peanuts kriens also desensitize tissues in his partner. Now that could be a problem for female. Part is because unfortunately you're all blessed with less sensitive genital area. Correct me if i'm wrong. Drop your thoughts into the comments right now because obviously i ain't got that hardware but to me. It seems like you'll have this natural ability to last forever my right so anyway. There's this one product that i've seen. That's highly recommended. That cole promo sent. That absorbs good enough so your partner is affected that much now. I haven't personally tested this myself. But i've seen and heard the name thrown around quite bit. Let me know in the comments. You got experience with this and what your thoughts are on it and as you do that i'll onto tip number five. This one's a doozy adult circumcision. Now this is somewhat of a dramatic solution to a problem but it is nonetheless a solution seriously. Adult circumcision now. I don't think i have to explain to you. What a circumcision is. So wilford nation for now but at the end of the day. The facts are that circumcision can desensitize the penis. Cleary cautious about this approach. Because if it's not done right it could actually backfire on you. So there were study results from research. Done back in two thousand eleven. That suggested that an incomplete circumcision can actually cause premature ejaculation again. This is not what we're after here quite the opposite. Actually so be careful with this course of action or at least as as many questions to your doctor you can if i were you at break down a couple of questions or just really think about. If you're contemplating this approach and make a list for your doctor and really have a discussion with them. So let's move on here because that got me a little paranoid. And i don't need any more paranoia than there wasn't already baked into me as i grew up on the streets of new york right so the six tip is weight gain. This this is kind of funny. One of you asked me. I'm always preaching about dieting and supplementation and workouts and exercises and whatnot all with the intentions of helping you lose and or maintain a healthy weight. A recent study found that men with higher. Bmi lasted longer in bed than those with a lower body fat and weight so according to the study results as my increased in the participants the number of people with premature premature ejaculation decrease. So basically those who were overweight lasted an average of seven point three midst. Now that being said don't be going out and stocking up on pizza and beer and whatnot. You know especially just not yet because the study was limited to about two hundred men and relied on self reporting so. I don't know how i feel about that. I mean didn't just mention that most men won't even admit to the fact that they're concerned about how long they last bed. I mean come on so you know a study that was based on self reporting. Yeah that can't be too reliable. My opinion you know plus. I don't know how i feel about putting on weight just a few minutes longer bed. I don't think it's that important. But that's just me you know. What do you think about this joplin and the comments know what your thoughts are around this whole putting on weight thing and now on the flip side and this is where i stand mostly is number seven here. This set of point is weight loss again. This is so there's a lot more evidence that suggests that being overweight or obese. Could make your sexual stamina worse and again. This is where i stay in. You know so. Since most american men over the age of forty our weight or obese and we all know that obesity high blood pressure and diabetes are the major causes of rectal dysfunction then treating the underlying problem of weight might be to our benefit. Don't you think this is super hyper true for men suffering from clinical premature ejaculation. Or you know not just those looking for an award for ben performance. I've got that were locked in already joking but this last point leads me into the next two points versed being four point number eight what you eat so if changing your diet allows you to lose weight it could be worth your time and effort to do so if for no other reason than to last longer with your partner. I don't know that sounds like a great reason to be pretty good trade-off you asked me but there are some specific foods that can increase the amount of free testosterone in your body. You know this is necessary for healthy erectile functioning aka your heart on so there's certain foods like fenugreek that can increase the free testosterone in your body. it's a matter of fact of fenugreek. Itself is the source of the compound coal testifying which is found in many of the over the counter supplements and i couldn't leave out this last tip here while we're talking about testified in supplements and whatnot is number nine premium supplements. Yeah i'm telling you. I can't stress this enough. Premium premium premium supplements. It goes along the same lines as what you eat. Supplements will enhance the effects of eating great. So you're adding the herb fen agree to your diet. You can easily magnify the effectiveness of this wonder with the premium pro biotic shake or a supplement or simply use other supplement. Regimens that have been proven like have a proven record of people to unleash their inner tiger in the bedroom. Actually that's exactly how someone described it in my Vip community and they were raving about how the supplements they bought from me. Help them unleash his inner tiger the bedroom quote unquote and that his wife was more than pleased with the end results and it was awesome. Yeah i mean. I just had to get them on. Camera save is for themselves. And now i use it as as one of my testimonials. It's great that being said it's now on you if you want to be that superhero in bay. I've just listed out nine different solutions for you and gave you my opinion on all of ben and where i stand as far as my choices you know. Now it's up to you. What are you going to do. Let me know you're going to do with air so that you guys that's my show today. How valuable is here. And nothing else. Home i'd entertain you for this was able to bring a blue manley. Fungi your pants for taking time. Your data listen to me very much on next week's episode we'll be tackling the topic of how your help with things i say don't want to miss out on that leaves us. Do not want to miss out on that. And if you like to join the conversation with me and the community the podcast fascinating dot com slash. Vip vip insider share evolve behind the scenes. Since keep you feeling younger and younger. That's podcast commission dot com slash. Podcasts dot com slash. Vip starting right now also. Don't forget the ricky on apple podcasts. Wherever you're listening to this episode right now and maybe a nice fat juicy far review and so absolutely beautiful words why you love the show so much really helped me get the word out honestly one place. Your vote truly matters. They care post.

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117. #Hired: Be Ready When Opportunity Strikes

VirtForce Launching Virtual Careers

12:51 min | Last month

117. #Hired: Be Ready When Opportunity Strikes

"It's a hashtag hired mini sued real bite-sized success stories from real vert force family members. I'm your host kimber. Today you get to meet victoria. Who has a truly unique double success story. You see victoria. I did her hashtag hired interview with us after she secured what she called just a good remote job but then she returned a few months later to do as second hashtag hired interview after. She landed what she called her dream remote career and victoria credits much of her success to one of our free resources how to ace your virtual interview. So let's hear from her now. This girl's got a lot to tell with two success stories in the span of just a few months. Have you heard the news resume. Bootcamp just got upgraded. We've added a multi part video series all about launching a linked in profile that commands results in the virtual job market. This joint program is now called rocket remote in it you get unlimited access to all of our resume building course and now our new linked in video modules our linked in video modules. Reveal our secrets that will propel you to the remote career. You've always wanted if you're ready to shape your resume and lincoln for the virtual career market. Subscribe to rocket remote at bit dot. Li forward slash. Vf's hyphen r. That's bit dot li forward slash. Vs hyphen r. r. Mauka to the hashtag hired many sewed. Peach week we're sharing your past sky. Pirate success stories. I found out about vert course through one of my friends jonah. Shoot a fellow military spouse than i was kinda struggling to find work. And she's like hey. There's this really cool group that helps people find jobs. So why don't you join soon. She sent me the invite. And then i joined and then in august i became a brand ambassador pervert force to so it's awesome. It definitely helped me by providing resources that i could use like i listened to the podcast and then the resume boot camp in just kind of you know learning new skills to help with that because he kinda don't realize when you're so far in your own resume that you're like wait. I need help from the outside. And maybe i'm doing it wrong or maybe doing it right so it's definitely been helpful on those weekly job searches. Were like the weekly. Jobless teams are really helpful to i work for instant teams. Actually just this league and i am a benefits qualifying guide for them right now while it is my first fully remote job so i'm excited to gain experiences in new skills. It is pushing me out of my comfort zone because my background is in design and this one is more benefits related. So it's going to be different. But i'm excited to see words in a take me in who knows it might take me down a whole new career pa so i moved away from home in california for the first time in march so pretty much since then i was trying to find a job remotely because they are going to be moving around a lot so it's a long time coming. My advice for people still looking for a job is to never give up and the most important i think is to tailor your resume towards like the you know the goals and the job that you're looking for because that's definitely something that i learned along the way redid my resume over and over and over until i realized like a weight that they don't mean all this experience our what's relevant to what i i'm looking for and i learned that from one of canvas podcasts. Those like oh my god. After months of you know doing my resume over. And over. And over. And i was like wait a minute. I'm still doing so. That definitely helped me need help. Building our skills and diving into the digital world of remote work. Stay at home. Prophet has got your back with education scholarships and career opportunities joined the stay profit family today and check out our five week remote virtual assistant certificate program as we all know how game changing remote work opportunities are for the military community. Check us out at bit dot li slash v f. Hyphen profit dot com. So it started. Actually i want to say a few weeks to maybe a month before. I took the job with instant teams. I had applied for the job that i really wanted and didn't hear back so you know. Instant teams came along and was like. Hey here's an opportunity. So i took it and then the day i started with instant teams. I got an email from the job. That i really wanted saying. Hi we want to interview you. So i was like okay. Let's you know. See where this goes. So i took the interview. The part that vert force helped me a lot with was actually prepping for my interview. I was super nervous than i was very determined to. You know. I really wanted this job. So i looked for all the resources i could get in the one episode a senior virtual interview. Vallon really helped me a lot. Like i never realized that i had once been doing interviews wrong in a way where kimber was talking about. How you know you try to tell your like the interviewer that like you know. Hey this is all about me but in reality they wanna hear about like. It's more about the company what you can bring to the company in how you're gonna improve the company which i guess i just never thought of that but it was definitely life changing because that helped so much in my actual interviews if they were very impressed by answers not episode that complete episode. Just helped everything. Like i don't know if i would have gotten the job if i didn't listen to that episode because you don't think about it 'cause you're trying in an interview like i wanna sell myself. I want them to see like i'm awesome. But then when she was talking about it's really about the company it made me realize. Oh you're right like they wanna hear about if you know their company not just like. Hey i really wanna work here so it was really cool to hear that. I wanna say it took about two weeks see. I think i was with instant teams for a couple of weeks. And then that's when. I 'cause i was know doing interviews them between my job but yeah i took about two two and a half weeks to hear back in. Get the job offer so the new offer. I'm working with restoration hardware. it's like high end. Interior design home decor furniture. And it's amazing. It's actually a hundred percent remote. They started a whole digital team back in march when covert hit last year to adopt to people's needs because they couldn't go into galleries and get their design help so they started a whole new department just for design help online. So i'm super excited for it. So it is fulltime benefits and i'm able to take it on the go so wherever we move next like i can keep the job and it's awesome because it's in my industry and you know it's remote so it works with the military life but then my career is also you know flourishing so it's just an amazing opportunity. I definitely love this job. I mean i'm still in training. I think i have a couple more weeks of training but it's just amazing there. I love what the company stands swearing. I love that they adapt and change and grow with you know the time because i feel like we all kind of have to do the same so i think it's great that they're doing a whole remote portion of the job because there are so many people out there that it's helping you know in their teams growing too so there's a lot of opportunity for more people to join my future. Plans with our h is hopefully to stay as long as possible. I just i definitely aligned with what their values are in what the ceo stands foreign. Just all the people are so amazing. So i just wanna learn. Grow each dane. You know if it takes me higher up the food chain then great but enough for now just loving it. So we'll see where it goes. But i wanna keep this job for as long as possible. I think in the scenario you know where you take a job in the new. Get the job that you want. I think to just follow your heart and do its best. I know it's not the most. It's probably not the best way to kind of take a job in say oops but at the same time it's your life and you know it happens and you never know when opportunities going to strike and sometimes it's not at the most opportune moment but it all works out in the end. A note for victoria victoria. Thank you for sharing this. I loved seeing vert force members. Dive into resources victoria. You didn't just dive in you plunged in you did it all. You've joined the a team. You used our free courses and you really allowed yourself to embrace this new way of thinking about remote work. one thing. that's important for our members to know. Is that yes. It is okay to take job that opens your life to remote work so victoria. I know you didn't love the first job offer. That came through but taking that position told your mind and told your lifestyle and told your universe that you were ready for remote work and what happened. The remote career of your dreams soon rolled in came rushing towards you. And this happens more than you think victoria because every fiber of your being was committed to a remote career. And whether or not that i offer was your dream job. It makes no difference the dream job that dream career is bound to happen at some point. Once you make the commitment to yourself that remote is possible and remote is your path. I'm so happy that you understood the real messaging behind. Ace your virtual interview in your interview. You're auditioning for a relationship with your potential employer and you have to make it just as much about them as it is about yourself so they can visualize you not only being on their team but visualize you contributing to their team. So victoria great work. Congratulations i'm so impressed with you. I actually used to work at restoration hardware. When i was in college. I worked in one of their retail stores. I have a pretty extensive background in assisting interior designers. So i know that's such a cool job. I can't believe they have a remote team. And i'm so proud to see you on it. Congratulations girl claps. For you kudos for you go get it. All right burp force. That is it for this episode. If you liked what you heard please subscribe right our podcast and leave us a review. We really love hearing from you. If you need to find the show notes which include all of the resources we discussed in this episode you can find those at firt force that you guys. I'm serious when. I say we want to hear from you. If you have an idea for an episode or question email us at support at force dot. Us as a reminder all content associated with the vert force podcast is the intellectual property of firt force llc. I write catchy next week.

victoria kimber Vallon Vf jonah Peach Li li lincoln Prophet california dane firt force llc Us
The Treaty of Thronehold

Manifest Zone: Exploring the World of Eberron

58:37 min | 1 year ago

The Treaty of Thronehold

"This is manifest zone the podcast that explores the breadth and depth of the world of Ebola on a tabletop RPG. Setting I one of your hosts Christians. Toronto and I'm kief Baker and in this episode. We take a look at the treaty of thrown hold and how it has shaped life on corvair after the last war So this is this is kind of an interesting topic because it's not a very overt one. I don't think in in Bryn Mawr but it does have some significant meaning in the lower in terms of how it shaped the world And I don't know of any actual readings per se like any articles or anything resources on it but yeah I mean it's interesting because that's the thing it's just not a lot of specifics about the treaty for example. We don't actually have the treaty written down anywhere you know. We don't have an absolute specific list of point-by-point What's covered on the other hand? The point is that is the treaty that has defined the current status quo. You can make the argument that the advising panel last worst source book is about the treaty because the world that it describes many of these nations that are just sort of taken as being part of things only exist because of the treaty of thrown old. Right right yeah. Basically what we see in the campaign books whether it's rising or the three four and five bucks or the four campaign guide is the sort of state of what the treaty has created. Right so yeah. So some basic stats. It was only eleventh day of Eric in Nineteen ninety-six. It's two years. After the day of mourning that it was signed into years prior to the start of the campaign So really when the campaign setting starts at nine hundred eighty eight it's only been two since the signing that's correct and that is the big thing that is is you know has been overlooked in in some earlier source books rising tries to really call it out but that is the thing. The day of mourning was four years ago. The Treaty of thrones was two years ago so we are really only two years out from the absolute Cessation of hostilities. Right and it's not that long right so even after the day of mourning. It's not like everybody stopped fighting right. The ideas that with the day of mourning the major battlefield actions were scaled down. Because people were afraid that that they were gonNA trigger another one but there was certainly border. Skirmishes continue tension You know and then was only with the treaty of thrown. Hold that it was officially. No we are standing down and frankly to me even now. I still consider that the the borders are still pretty militarized so right now that makes sense that makes sense because people are still protecting their their nations in their borders and such. It's still basically the point that you know what's called out is that the The treaty didn't resolve the situation right. No galfar the. The last war began Over who would succeed to the throne of gala far and well no one's on the throne of gala. Far You know and the treaty essentially said well. We're stopping fighting so we need to settle on the terms of what we're actually doing going forward right and not even just about you know who sitting who's supposed to be sitting on the throne but throughout the hundred years there's been all sorts of starts and stops where other issues have risen. There's there's still a bridge that's destroyed that nobody's pairing. There's still a city that's being held by another nation but I mean an interesting point is when you come down to it. We look at the Treaty of thrown. Hold as having created new nations as having created the Moore holds Dr Goon Vallon. Are you know these were nations? Did Not exist before the war but the funny thing is that in a way you could say it actually also created three rain and Braila nd and Karnak that they were nations that existed before the war and in some degree in different forms they existed before gala far nonetheless. Essentially the point of the last war was that the rulers of the five nations. Didn't you know accept the authority of the other rulers right? You know that basically Ruin was saying she should be the ruler of gala far which means all five nations are under her authority so while the treaty of thrown hold acknowledged places like Vallon are it also acknowledged unfair as a separate sovereign nation. Right right then and again. That hadn't officially been acknowledged to that point right. There were all considered part of the Kingdom of Gulf are and part of the same sovereign unit. So essentially all of them were saying to the rest of them. Hey you're on our land right you know you should Bow Down and accept authority here at and again in you know for all practical purposes the five nations were established you know understood to be independent nations throughout the war but technically you know anyone fighting. The war was arguing well. Those people are rebels. Who had to stand down and accept authority and so So again the status quo as we have it the map as we have. It really is what defines the Treaty of throwing hold is what defines modern core there With the added touch of as you said there are still things like the city of Leo St- Has Been called out as an important dairy city currently held by th rain. We call out valley oast in detail. It's a major city in such put to me. That's one of many you know it's the biggest but there are certainly villages along any of the borders that in all likelihood changed hands during the war. You know value is is the most important but in terms of just making up stories if you want to make up a story about a Yuno British village that used to be Seyran Co redhead. Yeah yeah absolutely yeah. There's definitely room for you know in my Aron. In that case throughout the war the borders were constantly shifting in. They were very very malleable. I will say that wall forge of war is not you know is not a book that I worked on and I don't agree with everything in it. I do like the fact that it has maps throughout the war with borders changing and and that is the point of when the war began. Part of the whole idea is that gala far just roughly said Oh we go from CDC and when things broke down you have the nation same will car. Nath says we control everything in the Northeast You know put the point. Is You have regions like Drove him is a perfect example. Where technically drew him was part of? Bray land. But it's not like there were ever any actual British settlers there right. They just on the map said well. That's ours we own that and so are there right. So part of the point likewise with Moore holds. It's not that there was ever a strong human presence in the more holds it's just that Galfar hit asserted his authority and had the power to enforce it and so they were considered part of Karnak. Curnow right but you know them. Splitting off wasn't suddenly like Oh they had to drive out tons of of humans. They just basically said. Hey we're GONNA stop paying taxes now you know. Yeah and then you have cases like Valere where it was once a part of seer but then took y'all valley interesting issue of because that is the point where we're saying even Sierra was Dramatically stretched out there. That part of the idea. You know one of the things you know I've said before is is the concept when Califor- established The United Kingdom. And you know named the provinces after his children that Sarah in particular and most of them he just incorporated the existing nobility into his structure. And serious where he actually said well. I'm going to clean this area out and sort of start fresh and you guys just go off and live over in the east right and so to a certain degree. What Snell Valentine are was? Basically a bunch of sort of dispossessed. Syra nobles pushed out into a region that was very much in that category of okay. The people they are certainly weren't gonNA fight gala far but it was never like they really loved it or were super excited to be Part of that ruin. And that's the idea of why it was so relatively easy for Valentine's For the turn it all to take it over is because they just basically booted out the You know the ethnic seyran nobility and the locals which is like you know whatever. Yeah so so with the forum forming of these new nations. We end up with twelve nations total. And of course we have a little bit of the thirteen minutes one seer. That is correct. Kind of fun shocking. Coincidence shot right. Oh my gosh. And what's interesting is with the truth. Reinhold and these twelve nations There was the the Gulf our code of justice already in play and what this did is it extended protections and such to the to the citizens of those told nations but also to the Dragon Murtaza's who who are not they're not officially part of nations. But the implication of that is really interesting in that we also know that the shadow marchers and the JOE MITES are not officially part of those twelve nations right. So let's let's call that out for a moment and just say so. The point is when you look at the map of core there most of the nations there you know basically the idea is if you go back one hundred years it's all gala far now at the same time you have regions like the demon wastes and the point is technically Galfar. Would say sure we own that too. But it's not like anyone ever wanted to live there But basically look at that map once it was all gala far at the start of the war. It's basically saying well now it's five nations. You know they just still sort of felt like Everything belongs to us and as you go through you have the locals just saying really actually you're not gala for anymore either. We don't accept your authority which is essentially the Largo Nizar principalities and the Moore Holtz Were all pre existing nations that just accepted gala far But basically you know in some cases like the more hold you know paid tribute. You know they were. They were sort of If you will subject you know nations But this was just them sort of efficiently saying by the way. We're not part of your thing. As compared to then Dr Goon the Eldeen reaches and valid dr which violently separated right Over the course of the war And Kebara essentially was established during the war. Nobody really cared about it. Beforehand and likewise the Atlanta planes and that sort of Moore holds category of well they were always just. They're doing their own thing. No one was really. They're trying to claim them for gala. Far they just have been officially recognized. But basically if you look at that map the critical thing anything. That's not one of the five nations was officially recognized during the war with the exception of the shadow marches drove him and the demon wastes so west. Coast not represented Nice. We're we're we need that as a slogan as an ever on thing west coast not representing and again part of that. You know why that happened is it should be noted that all of those regions are extremely inhospitable that the five nations never had a strong stake in any of those areas that the shadow marches became more relevant when house. The rash appeared but it still not like there were any actual British lords there as and to a large degree You know the shadow marches. Just doesn't have infrastructure of a nation Dro- AM the other nations. Essentially refuse to acknowledge it they basically said you're a bunch of monsters your savages and were sure that within ten years you're going to collapse and don't waste our time so in needless to say with the demon wastes there's no bike again. There's no nation there it's not like there's any force that would come and try and represent them at the trading right unless suddenly the lords of dust just WanNa start. Playing Nice would happen. So basic point is just calling out the differences no one came from the demon wastes. The shadow marches likewise. They didn't there were no. It's not that they were turned down. It's No one actually petitioned to be recognized as a nation and then Dro- am is the one that stands out as they did actually You know position themselves to be recognized and were denied right so the interesting application of all this is that if you have a character with an NBC ABC. Who's of those nations Unless they are a member of a working member of House that rush they they're not protected by these laws however they are accountable for adhering to them yet and can. So that's that's the wacky twist and again it's more of an issue for Dro- am than it is for Dr Goon because I not for door to the shadow marches because frankly if you're a human from the shadow marches most people aren't even GonNa know it right you know unless you're super obvious about it. It's not like most people stop and say hey that guy's wearing a hat. I'll bet I could kill him and get away with that On the other hand. If you're a knoll technically you are not protected by the law. If someone beats you up there's nothing you can do about it and you know on the one hand this is a bonus to the ems that makes it a little easier to use Daska as bad guys. Because actually you don't get in trouble for killing a bunch coal balls But on the other hand you know it also is as you suggest it. It's an interesting decision if you have a dramatic character. How far as a game master or as a player you want to call that out and especially when you have like ORCs such as playable races right now. The flip side of that of course is the fact that because you know nations that have where their citizens have. The protection of the code. Califor- are expected to abide by the Code Califor- ANDRO is not so this also. Is that point where it's one of the things that makes drove him a interesting location for adventure is this is the place where the laws of the throne whole nations. Do not reach where you know. I. It's not that nothing is forbidden because frankly the local governors will establish their own standards of What they will or will not punish But it is still a place where when I run things in Joe am I definitely highlight the fact that A lot of things you take for granted in the five nations. That's not how things work here. You know thinking about what you're saying here too. Is You know the treaty thrown. Hold his own two years old. We haven't dealt with cases or for all we know. Corvair has not dealt with cases necessarily about natural born monsters humanoids who were born in. Sabe roelant would well. Well how would you sell? Then you're ever well. There's a couple of different issues You know first of all I'll dial it back for a moment and say also that I think a canny lawyer would potentially make an argument that The shadow marches are part of Wayland And and that your your march or character who's got in trouble You know they should just be considered a British citizen because The shadow marches aren't nation and were considered part of Berlin did the past And basically again. We're talking about a thing that's two years old. I'm saying I think that's the case that either is happening. Were will happen at some point in the courts as for that You know this knoll was just born here. It's an interesting issue and I suspect that they're probably either is or will be You know some form of a so to speak you know citizenship process that you'd have to go through yell. Essentially swearing an oath of fealty to the British crown. I'm see I'm not sure exactly what that is but I'm sure a part of it would definitely be. Oh you're swearing oath tube railing to uphold the Code of California etc and that's where I e papers come in And I think it will probably be something like that. It would be a formal process in court Where you would you would swear oaths and you would get the idea. Identification papers that indicate that and of course then if you break the laws you're really in trouble because you sworn to uphold the top. Yeah this so. I think it's not four something like a knoll. I don't think it would be as simple as just while I was born here. So so I'm in Because you have to in some way be able to prove that but I think a no could certainly go through. You know. There's a process for a null to become a better citizen. Sure right you know which race doesn't have to worry about that. War forged that's true. Yes again for free. That's right so let's talk about that some so this was not something that the The various nations were necessarily pushing for prior to signing. The treaty was born. Now who brought it to the table and he was advocating on behalf of bulwark. Who was a workforce that serve homering blades? Probably maybe maybe depends on how it goes in your ever on. Yes indeed so yeah and his story so so for those who don't know the story behind that is that as soon as the treaty was signed and were forged were regarded as people bulwark just left in disappeared right and so nobody knows what came what became of him. Some suspect that he might have become the Lord of blades others think he just went onto the shirt doing something right art for fun. Yes exactly yes banks. He he started he started an se. Shopping selling jewelry Yeah but but it is an interesting point of that. What the The treaty did was it considered a it identified that were forged were considered to be people instead of property It forbade the creation of new war forged so House Kenneth was forced to shut down the creation forces and of course they abided. Of course the of absolutely sure Shawmut anyhow but at the same time part of the point is that still leaves the question of Essentially the idea is that they're supposed to be considered a citizens of the nations that they served and not all nations have sort of followed that entirely equally. So you know we do talk about incentive indentured servitude and Karnak and you know again. Part of the idea is that to a large degree of forge. Don't really know you know it's it's WHO's They were created they fought in the war. They had a thing to do. And now someone's giving them a different thing to do but it's a job now and you're going to get paid see but but you know we have to. We have to take this housing. Share your thing even though you don't eat or sleep and so part of the idea and this is where the Lord of Blades among others you know has rightful reason to Be Angry is the idea that a lot of were forged are being essentially tricked and don't really know what their freedom is. I find it interesting. That that the source books site three and Karnak as the two of the prime examples of nations that are sort of employing or lowering indentured servitude and bitterly. About th- rain. I have issues with a lot of ways. Things are tweeted about with rain however the way I look at th rain is that the Church of the silver flame is fundamentally about protect the innocent from supernatural evil And it is it. Is You know. Act with compassion but protect the innocent. Harm I definitely see the rain outlook as these are things that were created. They aren't living creatures. They don't have said they don't have souls. They don't add to the flame. Because how could they have souls? You made it in a in a machine and so basically that you can save by law. There are people. But they're not you know it's not our job to protect them. And furthermore beyond that they were made as weapons of war. It is their job. They were made to protect the living. And that's their job. So essentially the th- rain attitude. I don't WanNa say it's It's that their cruel. I WanNa say that they just don't even understand. Why are you trying to say our toaster is a person we made it to do a job and we have to protect the actual people out here and you know next. You're going to start trying to get me to you. Know to treat my armor as a citizen and the point is you and I can look at it and say but were forged. Do have souls. But we're forge are living beings but why not at the time it's not completely Impossibly implausible to understand the point of view especially when the point of the trains is. We got people we need to take care of. And in fact we made these people these things to take care of long Whereas Car Nath to me the whole point is car has always been just a harsher place and that they definitely are are. We made these things to fight And Remember Karnak also uses skeletons. You know and I'm just saying they don't give the skeletons houses in the right to vote and things like that and so I think they're just much more pragmatic in these things or weapons and you know You're you're being soft if if you're gonNA try and give your your sword you know a Nice House and I think that's the that's the part that I don't WanNa say struggle with reconciling. It's not really a struggle. Just sort of a question. I GUESS. But they have attended. That can do a lot of those things so part of it is that in my opinion. Karnak doesn't Carnet has the least number of were forged a but also my point is carnwath. Took in Syrian workforce after the war. That's where they just be like great. You know your things But yeah they don't have as many workforce because they had debt they didn't need were forged right But on the other hand they certainly had some because there are things. Each of those two types of unit is better at And again they certainly have the ones that they so to speak inherited for as Syrian refugees. Right frankly when you get to that Syrian refugee category. Then also they're enemy combatants which frankly Karnak has never had a ton of sympathy for enemy combatants. That is true. That is a very fair point. You know it is also worth noting that Karnak is one of the critical nations than actually does have a different and harsher set of laws That the code of chaos overrides the code of gala far and is significantly harsher. That's right that's right. And they were critical from the first to sign the Treaty League. That is the point is that has always supported. The idea that the war was a bad idea and that The morning is a terrible threat to everybody. That doesn't mean you know the the whole idea with Kaya is is he recognizes that war brings a tremendous loss of life and You know is unlikely to accomplish the goals that he would want. But that doesn't mean that. Oh He's a happy person who loves everybody. Wants everyone to be happy. It's just he's like this isn't the way to get what I want And this is the long you know. Long standing clash between Kaya Sorolla Where is the guy who ultimately probably what he wants is not great for you? But he's not gonNA cause a war to get whereas Arolla still really believes in that vision of united gala far and believes that we can have a beautiful just war where no one no innocence will suffer. It will be fought fought right and we'll get this broken kingdom back together Which is dumb but she means well is others twelve nations to combat odd. That's so frustrating. But you know she's working on a big mandy and spell and it's called war yeah good luck with that around the less. Know How that works out. Any you know So yeah the point is this was all the wild diversion that started because we were calling out the fact that war forged Were under the terms of the treaty identified as citizens and theoretically protected by the code of Galar. Theoretically right right but again part of this point is that the code of Galfar which is a general set of Basic Laws. Much as those many of us are used to that. You know you don't murder people you don't rob from people If you're curious about it Sharon city of towers the Charen source book Is the one that actually goes into the most detail about things that are covered in Under the code of gala far off At the same time we know there's nations that are not following these to the letter A critical example is that has been called out both in some of the source books and in novels That Dorgan is still hold. Slaves Largely Syrians taking slaves. You Win Dorgan was established. Also frankly they enslave other. You know other Goblins And slavery is outlawed under the Code of Califor- likewise Valla Nar has been particularly called out as continuing to engage in aggressive acts all along its borders against the Toronto planes against Kebara Against Star Goon and even occasionally as far as Karnak in both of those cases issue. Is there sort of relatively small scale things that the overall the larger nations are ignoring In the case of Vallon are it's not that shares his declared war on anybody or mobilized a massive army. It is war bands. You know these small units. Charging wrecking wrecking a bunch of stuff and taking off And in that case shares it certainly Saint Joe Joe. Those those naughty naughty boys will deal with them. I'll discipline them Like Wassenaar Goon Peru again. We're talking about. It's only been two years. You know you can be sure that. Haroo is saying I'm going to deal with this. I'M GONNA solve this problem. We're going to make this change. But as called out in Baz tweets novels. The whole idea is he's in a delicate position. This is a a practice that some of his warlords Just consider there right And he has to figure out. How does he sort of convert them right to the laws without having the whole nation collapse? I mean I think we talked about some of those challenges in our minds episode. Yeah I think so and to me. That's the point of this is something that should be interesting. This is not a oh the whole nation collapse because they aren't following the laws. Because you know it's the among other things. This is only been two years. Give it ten years and this is where you could get one of the other nations or a multiple other nations saying look. You GotTa do something about this. Were imposing sanctions. Were doing thanks. You know a rook recognize. This is a problem right. A risk But this is where nine ninety eight is this crucible moment when we are still trying to figure out How do we deal with things like that? With vallon are are they going to settle down or is this going to get worse and if it gets worse how far does it go before somebody? You know decides. It's gone too far so so this kind of this question is sort of in to the bit about House donates sentinel marshals. They still act as enforcers for could've Golfer. Guess what's to prevent them from going after those individuals who are doing the rating enslaving and so on. So that the in your ever on do you see that. As conflict that occurs the basic issue is the sentinel marshals have the authority to enforce the code of gala far across borders. But they don't do it in less their pay. You know they aren't just out there just trying to you know so to speak. They're not cops. They're essentially sort of you know forum of of Bounty Hunter if you will right. It's that basically if someone in Deir puts out I have just crime against this guy and I'm GonNa pay you one hundred gold to enforce it. They have the right to go into it and say we're acting were pursuing this guy Who is a criminal under the code of gala far? And we're going to take him back to on there so in theory you know broiler or let's say house oriented somebody could hire the sentinel marshalls to go after that individual. Who MAY BE ENSLAVED? They're traveling whatever you bet ordered likewise If a Valla nor were banned you know comes in and trashes a you know four bones or something like that a pornography noble could absolutely higher sentinel marshalls to say track. That guy down and Shares would be sad because he'd rather you? They raised a big army and attacked. Valentine are on this also they would have to acknowledge he'd be like Yep okay go ahead. You know you'd want that glorious battle but this law so and this is a critical point of usually sentinel marshalls are sort of seen is exceptionally a lead But it's entirely possible as group patron to say that you are a team of Centeno marshalls and that the thrust of a campaign. Is You being on missions? Like that go you know. Go into Hey Brian Has Darrien. Wizard working for them who dare has Called out his warcriminal. Go Get that guy you know. Go into jargon and rescue slaves you know. Any of those things are certainly would be an interesting role for group of players. It's just that by default like I said they. They have the authority to enforce law across international borders. But you gotta pay him before. They'll do before they'll do it right so I think that's that's a really good sort of segue into talking about how GM's and players can look at an employee. Treat your throne holding their games because we're already talking about like you know whether there's sort of a A group patron type of thing going on with the you know the sentinel marshalls or whatever it might be. You know. There's there's certainly some plot devices that can come into play yeah so sentinel marshalls are absolutely a point. That can go either direction. It's a perfectly compelling to patron concept uniform group of players at the same time it is also definitely if players get in trouble You know the the marshalls are the people who could pursue them wherever they go I will also say the side note to this is this is what makes drove. 'em exciting is that drove him. Again is a place where the code of California is not recognized so in theory the Sentinel Marshall shows up at the relish court. And says you know I have read against Sir Such and such and I'm taking him back to dare if it's all the jet under the code of gala far. They've got that right if they come into a Great Wall and say that The Flare Guards GonNa just laugh at them. You know your leg or these charge them a lot of money and so this is the idea that because of that. Drome is a haven for war criminals deserters and frankly just political dissidents Who would be threatened if they remained in a throne whole nation right and so essentially you want to both remember that if you're in a throne hold nation theoretically the code of gala for applies. There's things you shouldn't get away with or at least that you'll be in trouble if you do. But on the other hand that also means there's places in the world like the shadow marches or Joe him where people will go because they want to be away from that and that can create all sorts of different opportunities right. Unless you're an employee of house the rest that is true and this again is part of coming out the The value of dragging counties in the power of dragging marked houses. Yeah so so so. We just talked about how central marshals they won't engage unless being paid and and even then it might be questionable as to where they have to go to retrieve the individual So other than that. How else do you see the treaty or thrown hoping enforced just simply a Cold War thing where the nations are just trying to play nice to prevent war from breaking out again cup different things and one thing I do WanNa call just for a moment is the difference between a Sentinel Marshall? Nfl Rash Bounty Hunter. Right and he basic point is the sentinel. Marshall can show up and actually identified themselves and say. I'm here with a legal claim on Bob. Because BOB is a criminal. The thrashed bounty hunter will just show up. Hit Bob over the head stuff in Minnesota can carry him off right and the point is A. He doesn't care if Bob's criminal or not and be. He's not flashing a badge because he has no actual legal afford. It's just the he gets away with what he can get away with And so that's just a slight thing. I'll just note that as a thrash bounty hunter. You don't actually have the legal authority just assumed that you can operate without it right right exactly but on the other hand if you get caught by the Sharm watch for beating up quarry. Okay gotTA deal with But coming back to the question of of sort of how weird applies the couple things to me. One of the big ones is just in a sense calling out the fact that it's only two years old that we are still figuring out how to enforce you know who does enforce these things and What are the limits and The you know. Even though technically the building reaches Ari thrown whole nation. There's a Lotta people in Deir who think that's ridiculous and you know. So what do you do? What happens when the dairy and You know basically Gets in a fight with the richer about it So sort of one thing. You can definitely explore. Is those tensions the Seyran With a vendetta against the Dr Goon you know the door Google Because you've you know you. People stole their land to which the door would say. No you people stole their land and you know they have a whole whole thing about it and and so part of it is definitely exploring the idea of those nations that are official but still struggling with that again. Dorgan in slavery you know. Dr Goon is a perfect example of it's a nation where who wants to be part of the international community and yet the code of gala far is not the does not fit with the traditions of the Gulf are right and that is a very unstable dangerous situation because they're trying to make it work but there's a lot of forces within the nation that do not do not respect So that could be an interesting thing to explore. Yeah absolutely how about you any any thoughts? Yeah I I sort of see it as a kind of like a newly born United Nations type of approach where people are still trying to or or like an e. You can thing where they're they're feeling it out as they go along and again. It's only been two years as we keep saying but that means there hasn't been a lot of time for major incidents to come into play for things to be you know questions are challenged and I agree. I think that that you really hitting on a critical point there that it is the. There's a lot of room to have. This is the first time this kind of legal challenge or issue has ever come up and and we're still figuring it out. Yeah exactly and so I think I think that's a really good opportunity for you. Know maybe a plot hook even that the party kid you know the GM could have the party get involved with in terms of. Maybe they're the ones that are caught in the middle of the sort of Challenge regarding a certain legality of something they've done and And I think there's a lot of things to explore their. You know this ties to thrown hold itself which really often doesn't get a lot of attention note doesn't But thrown hold is this location. That technically is where these sort of you know where where issues in grievances are resolved And it is a city divided up between the five nations And it's it's basically you know if you really want to get your sort of classic Cold War Berlin and just split it up a couple more ways There's a lot of room for intrigue and espionage in In thrown hold right absolutely absolutely so yes I don't have. I don't have anything specific concrete. But it's more of a. This could be an exciting PING TO EXPORT. And when you look to the treaty it's also important just to understand that what we're talking about with the treaty is also furthered the peace and this comes back to any sort of cold war plot Of the idea that the nations have stopped fighting but to a large degree. Many of them still aren't happy with the situation Some of them are actively preparing for war. You know with the basic idea that if we can confirm that the morning is either never going to happen again or are we can understand it and solve it Then then they're ready to fight again and so you COMPLA- to a lot of that. Oh on dare is developing some Arcane Super Weapon or Karnak is secretly building up forces along the border. You know I mean you can have a lot of of that sort of tension of the players. Either discovering these things were stumbling into. You know what happens when your players you know essentially Top secret hidden on dairy in Arcane Weapons Research Program that's dungeon if you happen to accidentally stumble into right now. Yes what I remember. You know really good. Example is remember that was a big fan of the nineteen eighty s justice league comics just before became Justice League International. They had an incident where they were. They were nuclear Silos being attacked and so they were going to try to stop this from happening And as we're going into Russia the rocket reds stop them the rocket roads. Yeah and but it was a major incident because there were they. They had to stop because they're thinking. This could be seen as an American attack and this is before they had you know international recognition and whatnot. And I always found that really compelling because I was like Oh my God like what do you do as a group of superheroes or adventures or whatever it might be in this core state where you're just going in without any authority on a sovereign nation on the other hand the flip it around to mission impossible and that's the point the beauty of a group of adventurers you're not part of a sovereign nation. Perfect tools will if Brian knows about this this this arcane workshop if they sent even dark lanterns if they were caught. Oh It'd be disastrous. But you stupid party the venturers you are an entirely disposable you know of tool with no political ties well that well that was still the threat actually because technically the Justice League at that time using this example again they. They didn't have strict ties to the United States. They they weren't necessarily representing him. It was the perception that was the risk and I could still play. Yeah I would just say Wa. Yeah but there. You are for but But yeah no. That's absolutely the question on the one hand you can have again going back to group patrons you could work for a head of State Rights Leeann Espionage Unit. Or as you said if you're not you still the question well if you're all British that still would be a perception right. You know that That you might be exactly and and that sort of even more critical which I think is exactly what you were getting tour is if you're a group of British adventurers then even if you aren't doing anything if you go in trash you know in Ontario in place that could cause an international incident right right and if you're an ORC. Interesting worse right right if you look. If if you're not tied to thrash right so yeah yeah so So yeah I mean that's one of the many but the part of the point is it does all come back to that idea that as a game master. It's up to you to decide how heavy you want this. To be right in your. How much weight does it actually carry in? Your Aron is a question that you that any jam should ask themselves Now it could be a major source of of plot hooks or something. That's in the background. You don't WanNa be bothered with it and that's fine perfectly and and this is the same thing that comes up. Sometimes people ask about the course edicts. The limitations placed on track and marked houses. And sometimes people say well aren't the Valla nor an excuse me isn't house Learend art you know of that Violating the court IDEX invalid You know isn't acts of violation of the court decks and the point is yeah. Yeah who's going to do to anything? Who's WHO's there to stop. At the essence to enforce rate and that when it was gala far it was gala for. But now someone's got to call it out and then someone's got to decide okay. We're going to actually do something about it and it's only been two years so we're back to the that's exactly the kind of thing that someone can bring that to the council enthrone hold and say something needs to be done about this but again. Is anyone going to paint that bullet into who's going to do something about it? How are they going to do something about it? And it's going to be done about it and and so part of it really. Is that point to bear in mind that everyone is still figuring this whole peace thing out and that in a lot of cases the the core. Xp a great example of Yeah. There's a couple of these that you can definitely call out. And say that is that is a violation. That is a problem but as of yet. No one's figured out what to do about it and that can be a story dude. Dude now yeah go ahead going. Oh I was going to bring up because we talked a little bit about you. Know if you're an old PC and things like that. And I think an interesting plot to could be you know we talked about. Were forged some of them being an indentured servitude but we haven't talked about the implications of a war forged breaking that indentured servitude. Well to me that comes entirely off. That's the same idea as the debts table in rising from the last Yeah that that's a perfect thing of saying. You know that that table the headline is you know. Why do you need two hundred pieces and easy you need to pay off your indentured servitude contracts and technically at any time someone could send Centeno Marschall to pick you up? You know So I do think you know on the larger term you generally would say. Hey you're one more fortune the world How big was the contract? And is anyone GonNa go to the trouble of trying to enforce it but it's still definitely an interesting character point yeah Even if these aren't major plot hooks the could be just little seeds that you drop in if you're short for an idea for night well it's definitely when you look to war forrest in general. You know it's it's always important to say what nation you know which nation built you What did you do the war of? What did you do after the war you know? Have you seamlessly transitioned to you Embrace the idea of freedom and personal destiny are you still figuring it out And especially again if you were occur. Not War forged. Did you Sort of work things out and leave on your own terms or did you fleet and you know these are all interesting things to play with even necessarily what nation built in. But who is the last one you served and an interesting thing again to think about based on your nation is how do you feel about the treaty? You know if your an-and Derian. Do you have family? And tally oast Do you consider the LT reaches you know. Did YOU LOSE LAND? Became you know if you're a noble. Maybe you're a noble and much of your states were in the eldeen reaches exactly you know End So it can be very interesting. You know on the one hand. It's easy to say everybody's happy. Everything's great on the other hand. It can be very interesting to take a character in pick a Decide that you have a very specific issue with one of the nation's or one of the consequences of the treaty that you have again. Your family estates are indoor gloom. Right you know. And that's a great one to be an outlander or an arch in or whatever and say. Oh but technically. There's a manner in indoor gun with your family name on it you know but what you GonNa do about or even in something in Metro that Oh sure well I mean with the morten land that's a whole nother can't just take it back in. Dr. Goon you know you do have the weird. There's probably a tribe of bugbears yes squatting state yeah right. Yeah and I think that that really speaks to that whole aspect of the treaty being a treaty not not a sense of resolution and that city. That's being held by that other country. Your home is in there and your belongings in there but you can't claim it. Yup and and yeah what are you? GonNa do about it. It's not like you can personally go in there and liberate the city on your own So to me part of the point is we talk about regrets you know. What are the things you regret? But also there's it's very logical to in creating a character sable what your grievance so what are the things you said you know And again these are the kinds of things that may never actually become relevant in an actual adventure you play you know. I have a family manner in Dorgan. Well it turns out all their stories are up in the demon wastes and on there and so. I'm never going to do anything about that but I can still be really pissed off about it. Sure and say well Jiang. It should be arrested in my grant you know. It gives me something to talk about if nothing else was Lord and you know. There's there's like in savage roles you have interludes rate and that's a great way. We've that kind of a story you know into the narration. Where where you're sitting around you're talking about that manner that you lost and but there's nothing you can do about it and it's it shapes your character shapes their outlook and how they see things you know. It's great great. Row play pretend well and conversely again the other alternatives to say. What did you gain from it? You know so on the other hand if you are Dargo were you. Are you know th rain? Well you believe that that your nation Deserve Stelios. You know and things like that. What are the the win? Yeah Yeah Rights for example. You well. Yeah we're your person and yeah there's there's all sorts of things that you can look at that and I mean all out you know as a novel that is a perfectly fine basis for a story you know the the Queen of stone and One of my novels is all about a summit and drove him We're throw 'em has appealed A second time to be recognized is thrown whole nation and And and basically you have a emissaries from old thrown all nations you know traveling to the Great Crag to attend the summit kind of thing you could explore as well and they succeed right. I'm kidding I'm not saying nothing. No spoilers spoilers well yeah I obviously with everything. We've we've talked about. There's there's a lot of great stuff that you could employ with the treaty thrown. Hold in terms of you know whether it's inspiration or actual plot hooks and whatnot or as we said earlier you can just leave it untouched and not have to. But it's not it's it's definitely a backdrop kind of a thing not not something that has to slap you in the face every time you play or run an. Lebron's game but I think I think it's intriguing enough to consider it so we're sure create anything else really good. Yeah Cool. Well thank you all for listening and be sure to visit our website at manifest zone where you can find subscription links to our show post comments on an episode find links to our twitter and facebook pages and whatever option. You prefer let us know what you think of the show. We've been getting a lot of feedback. I've seen some great comments on there. I'm actually wondering we should do a little bit of a reading of some of the some of the reviews that we get because they've been really one entertaining glow just just a feel-good. Yeah but for those of you who have left reviews. We thank you very kind and we. We greatly appreciate them so join US next time. As we explore the culture of the half elven core. Avar of corvair. I don't think we've talked about half elves yet so I think this'll be a great topic and it's I personally invested by half else so looking forward to that excellent. Yeah and again. Thank you Keith. So much for your input and until next time keep exploring.

Karnak Galfar Corvair Dorgan Moore Joe Joe Vallon Dr. Goon Treaty of thrones Dr Goon Vallon Califor United States Toronto California Snell Valentine Aron United Nations Brian Has Darrien
Bottles and Cups and Teeth (Oh, My!): Minisode 1

Who Needs Sleep?

31:25 min | 11 months ago

Bottles and Cups and Teeth (Oh, My!): Minisode 1

"You're listening to who needs sleep. Podcast for parents. Hello everybody welcome back. I'm dr phillip mccallen faster valerie and you are listening to our first mini episode. Where we take kind of a diversion from our regular path and kind of talk about whatever it is that we feel like talking about that day. So this is the first mini episode for you. The listener for dr vallon myself. This is our third minneapolis. we So so the first time We we recorded this very mini episode Doctor valerie Was recording from her rooftop. During a monsoon in hawaii can use the back the back of a bobsled maybe wherever and then the second time we try to go after starting off the episode by making fun of l. I then decided to forget to turn on my microphone so this is looking number three which actually This brings us to just the very first point of this mini episode which is If you are a parent or you're going to become apparent you're part of a very exclusive club Where you can always always always always blame. Your kid is always accessible. it's hard work. Take past guys take the past. It's worth it. S this young. And i'm just going to say this this young because yeah those of you who have listened to our other episode. You may have noticed how my child has aged multiple times throughout that one episode startup. Kids five months always seven. Oh two teeth. Oh yes sixty pounds. That's because that's how long it took us to get it together record. How's that Man and i'm sure you've probably have hours and hours of. Just look yeah. Don't forget when you're listening to those and you hear how much giggling there is that. I've cut out a bunch of giggling time to make it right now because you're otherwise it's just going to be a cacophony of kochi frogs giggling. That's all here. There are a lot of frogs background. There are a lot of frogs them. Yes so a lot of frogs here so So what it is that we are going to be doing on these mini episodes. Which we're going to start doing in this episode is answering your questions and you can always Send us an email. You can call our phone number. We have a phone number three one three three six four yawn Which i've memorized or you can You can actually record voice mail on our website too and So if you want to be part of a podcast you could be part of a convenient ours when we answer your questions. So yeah yeah come and join us But one of the other things that will be doing is making corrections to fix so i have our first big correction that first episode. Yes so you the listener recall. Maybe recall who knows if you recall. I don't know. I barely recalled. But but i mentioned a number of times or a spoke at length about the fact that my wife and i Got there for the birth having even really thought about doing prenatal class this thing that both val and it and my wife was listening to that first half of the first episode and in mid mid listen. She texted me and said that is not correct. She said i couldn't get a prenatal class earlier on remember. We talked about this. I couldn't get one that fits him they residency schedule. She looks so than than than i did. Schedule one but it was maybe a week before the due date and then our baby was born like two weeks early and when i heard that i was like oh right of course of course it all came flooding right back and i just completely. I mean i was saying it's so obviously we talked about it so many times but i think actually this into a good point which is that so when you are a parent. You're going to get rid of all the information that you no longer need. You're running trying to keep up with this kid. You know you're constantly changing. What you're doing. That is so true but yet so basically. This was a piece of information that as soon as that baby was born. I no longer needed. And so in my head i was like get rid of it and actually this is why podcast may be helpful for people who actually have had kids before. Because you don't you don't remember her. Yeah you don't remember the stuff. This was two years ago. that's not forgot. it's yeah i mean. I have had the same conversation with multiple people multiple times. Because i forgot that i already told them like. It's you know and is with my mom with his dad's. He told me that. Already i did. We're ten minutes ago really. We've had this whole. We're blueprint a time loop radio. Oh it's funny i like. I'll walk into the kitchen. Now say who these paper towels in the sink and mama say. You did responses y. Did i do that so a year ago. We were driving from a trip home. It's like a two hour drive right and we decided to stop halfway along the trip at at this chocolate shop like and we got we got to the parking lot and And i went inside and my wife went to go get her baby. She came inside and she was like. Hey you changed their before we left right a. Ha she's like okay. Did you put a diaper on her. And i was like now. We drove half of a two hour. Drive home i just i just was in so i took that type off. Put the pants back on her and shoved her in the car. Seat was like let's go. That's why i don't remember our prenatal class. Oh again we are making this podcast for our own entertainment and we're having fun making it look or already ten minutes into this many episode and we haven't even started to answer the question even read the question. This is this time. We'll spend trust us trust if you need if you need a break from your kid by the way Just start podcast. That's what we're doing. Look not we're are you know offer to things. Hey i'm going to go to the grocery store to get one apple. I'll be back in forty eight minutes just to get a break. I mean i didn't realize until the pandemic's started. I did not realize how often i was going to the grocery store literally every day. Every day fell. I was going to the grocery store. I'm like well you know bananas are good anymore. I need just a hand of bananas just five. That's it. That's all i need and i'm going to walk gingerly through each and every i'll just to get those and i'm still gonna pay with a credit card. Seventy nine cents worth of bananas. I love my job i do. Sometimes you just need to go to the grocery store to get one carat just something just to get out of the house and we need it. You know you've earned it. He needs it. He needs to carry the break. We need that. We need the carrot to you. Know you know you have to enjoy. This too is because at first. I like month or two. Could you leave your child with anybody else. Oh absolutely not. I would take him with me. When i went to ather like he was just i would just hold. My wife. couldn't leave our baby with me. I you know we had a leonardo. Were together for about two weeks when he's about a month old as my mom and his dad had to go back to chicago so it was just the two of us hanging out for two weeks and it was over my birthday and it was the best two weeks ever. He disdained in my lap. The whole i know and we got you know. And that's when he actually started to smile and laugh so it was. It was kinda fun being able to kind of witness that but no. I couldn't leave him. No it's just. Maybe maybe maybe and now i'm disciple baby at the same time if i like if i go to work and i get a picture of our daughter. Oh my god. I'm like i should quit. Shouldn't work anymore. I should just stay home. It's funny like even even when i'm away from him all i do is if i'm not talking about him. I'm just looking at his old pictures. that's it. I know when i when she was first born. I was showing pictures at work all the time to people who were not asking to see them. They were coming in for serious work questions or issues things that i suppose the big important decisions baby. I didn't mean to become that person. But you're i am me to same way. I'm like man. He's just the best kid ever look at him. Got i'm smilin' this is him. He's good too but my kid is i mean. Just look at this kid this kid. Oh yeah We should answer this question. Yes would you like to read it. Short let's why don't we mix things up. And because i've i've read it a few times law meaning to at this point so High doctors mickelson lawrence. I have a soon to be fifteen month old. And i jumped on the sippy cup trained quite late. According to all of the blogs which has our our best friends That was me by the way that wasn't the question We started the three sixty cup around one year and only gave our daughter bottles in the morning and before bed. Now i'm reading that she should be off the bottle. So i got a ma'am sippy cup. In my opinion. It's not that much different from a bottle so my questions are one. When is the appropriate time to switch exclusively to sippy cups and then regular cups too. Which cups do you recommend three. Do you have any tips for dropping the morning and before bed bottle slash sippy cups of milk. A my daughter seems to really need milk those times. And i'm trying to figure out how to painlessly removed this from her routine Four how much milk should she really be. Getting sage and five. When should i start using toothpaste to brush her teeth. I've just been using water. Thank you i feel to me. High swat and that's from swati over in washington state. So thank you very much. Swat for writing veldt. Would you like to start answering the first question. Though when is the appropriate time to switch exclusive sippy cups and enrich yourself fillon. I can both agree on this. There are a lot of cups thing there. there's too many cups and so it can get to be a bit confusing. Basically you wanna try to start using a sippy cup say about six months using when you start introducing foods you kind of want to start introducing a sippy cups. Well if your child seems interested in a cup before six months you one hundred percent shriat you know of course up until six months. They should be pretty much exclusively beginning formula or breast monks. You don't wanna give them water or juice or anything like that but if a four month old is kind of looking at a couple you can hundred percent try it and so if you're gonna start at that early. I'd probably recommend one of the sippy cups. I kinda looks like a bottle so like those moms cups like she said because you do want your child off of a bottle by one year age of possible you can start using opened cups as same thing at six months or even a little bit earlier if your child seems interested in it You just have to recognize that cup. Usage has to do with like oral motor skills. So it's not going to get into your out mouth. It is going to get on. The floor is going to get in their face. It's going to go. And it's going to terrify time but it's gonna it's it's okay because they're just not used to that flow and also the amount that's coming i think because with with like a nipples or they have to do some suction to girod back but with a cup it just comes pouring into the math and it kind of shocks them a bit and they are going to grab a cup twos. It's going to be on the floor. It's going to be on the clothing. So yeah yeah. I think that You know once they start taking more solids a little bit more regularly just a little bit after that They're going to be showing interest in everything that you're doing eating and drinking and so you can have a cup there you're holding onto with water and someone's your kid is taking announcer to a food. You know have a have a cup and offer them an ounce to of water that cup that you're sharing with your child at the mealtime that your child thinks it's your cup But once they drink out of that cup. It's not your company more. It's there's because you'll see all of the little like graham cracker or yes goldfish cracker crumbles and pieces of raspberry. You're you're not gonna want want basically or just understand that your will then become your child's cup because you're just like oh yeah so you don't actually ever need to do exclusive three cups if your kid isn't doing much in the way sippy cups you don't really don't need a backpedal down. I mean there's a sippy cups that look like bottles is a ones like three sixty cup which It looks like a regular cup has lid on it. Oh yeah. I was really really excited about that. Because they looked so cool. It looks like just a regular cup and looks like a regular human like really like a real person. It's got that lid on it to keep it from spilling and my daughter was very interested in that cup for the first maybe the week or so and then she noticed the vent hole and she became a much more interested in that and whether or not she could stick her finger or for or something into that because then she could take the cup and throw it on the ground and just leave. This jackson pollock paintings across the floor. So what have you have planned like with everything else. It might not work out. And that's exactly exactly so for My child we only have sippy cups for when we actually go out of the house so inside the house. He's drinking from an old cup in mainly just water. He doesn't really like choose. He does like beer though. Non alcoholic of course so. My child likes ginger beer. maze like the spicy ginger beer like the sliced the main route ginger. Beer the spy yes. He likes beer peppermint tea with no sugar and water. That's pretty much fluids. Teddy likes so ninety percents. I'm he's just getting water so he's he has an open face. Cup is basically just tall. Tumbler that we got from target for like dollars. Plastic so if he does get a hold it and throws it on grounded won't break and then we just the sippy cups when we actually go out into the car. Just because you know spillage proof you so and we do have one That has the straw the weight at the bottom in that. That's actually pretty cool. Because when they tilt it back the weight. Keep the straw in the fluids. They are awful to clean though they give you that. Little tiny little pipe cleaner you. Don't you will never be able to clean that straw and so when you do. I just recommend that if the sippy cup cannot be boiled or sterilized to keep really light fluids in those cups like water being is if you put formula milk or something else in there and you leave that. That cup in the car will own hot day and then yes. It's going to get gross because you are going to forget about a cup and you're gonna find it in a diaper bag three weeks later and you can. Oh i just there's just a solid block of curdled. Milk this little tubes and the little weight stuff. Yes because even the water is going to get kind of pretty gross. If a cup for a bit anyhow this. I think we answer question wanted to so. Yeah so I do realize it open face. Cup is really good for when your child tries to kinda chipmunk in their cheeks so my child has started to do that where he is. He's not hungry. He just kind of wants the flavor of the foods so take a bite cycle flare route. Then he spits it out it kind of tuck in it they are. They are but an open. Phase cup prevents them from being able to do that so instead of them tucking it and then you find out later they just spit it out right it into the cup and that's why it's no longer your cup You kinda look to the future and keep in mind that that idea that you're going to be trying to wean off bottles at about a year of age and so you'll want to try to wean off the sippy cups that are more like bottles around that time too so keep that in. Mind that that's what we're trying to get to. Eventually the goal is regular cups and The they'll get there a couple years into things probably healthily. So i think that answers questions. One and twos wate at it does not answer it. Just leave us a voicemail and we'll take four we'll talk about something else for another twenty five minutes and eventually we'll get to your the second part So yeah you're right that's one and two and the next question was do you have any tips for dropping the morning and before bed bottles. Sippy cups So it you have a toddler. Your toddler is going to know when you're doing something that they don't want to let you know any change in the routine they will let you know and i don't think there's actually a problem with the morning time milk You know you've got a fifteen month old. i. I think it's still a reasonable time to be working on getting over to sippy cups on regular cup so but for one year old What you can start doing is making it. So the only thing that they get in bottles of water and then if they want something other than water that's going to be coming from cups so that's a. That's another kind of a way to do things around that time. Yeah and then also you know. Give them a choice They usually go for the more colorful so put the water in the more colorful the more colorful item for your toddler. Yeah the more fun things. And you know as far as juice goes. What is the recommendation for juice zero. Really your kid doesn't need to eat cheese and you know i think what was it. There there was a thing that was basically You can either eaten apple or you could take just the sugar and none of the fiber nutrients from that apple exactly. Put it in the cup and actually that cup has like eight apples worth sugar. Yeah absolutely no. Have you ever tried to make apple juice. You got a press. A bunch of apples to get one cup of juice. So he's right like eight. Apple's no i've seen. have you ever juiced in akron. I didn't request a pre listener. If you've just apples call him. We've us a voicemail plan. I haven't either. But i've seen it and i walked away after the third apple because i just said this is ridiculous. I'm gonna buy some juice but yes as as bottles juice. Yes we do not recommend use because it really is sugar water so water and if you do want to give your child. Jews watered down the news. Yeah yup. I mean especially around this age. An ounce is yes enough every new water. The goal is to get your child on just water in the bottles and then other water and other liquids in the open comes and so swat d for you. I'm since your child is fifteen months kind of expects that bottle of milk at night. That's too is you can do it. You can start to cut down the amount you put in the bottle every night. Cut it down by like an ounce. Every today's is that gradual decrease hodler's transition that well or you can water down the milk. Same way you know. Seven ounces of milk one ounce. Water do that. Over two days and six ounces of milk two ounces of water excetera cetera into you get it down to just straight water. 'cause you really don't want her after. She brushes her teeth in the evening. You really don't want her to have formula after that. 'cause it's kind of defeating the purpose of or milk brushing her teeth. Yeah yeah by the way if your kid is your and you still have some formula leftover use it up and it's fine use it up. You don't have to immediately switch to just milk from formula at once. You're on your kids one year birthday. It's it's so how much milk do you actually recommended this age. I know what we are taught. But i am lactose intolerant and so we weren't big milk drinks in my house when i was growing up so i mean we pretty much breastfed most of us. And then that was it and we just kinda went just to water why i mean growing up on time. We'd have milk of be like if you had cereal. Which wasn't that often. i think for me. It was like cereal or or cookies. And that's what milk goes with like the idea of eating of like drinking a glass of milk. When i'm eating a hamburger is really weird to me. Yeah i don't but now and i'd be at have become more lactose intolerant. As i've got notice i just i. Just yeah well. What i think too much. Milk is like the number one cause of constipation and anemia in kids. Sage and so what you want to be going for is about sixteen. Maybe twenty ounces of milk at that at that point and everything else water It's a big change from a six month old where you've got a kid drinking already. Thirty six ounces of of of breast milk or formula. You know what's up but yeah really so so it's like half that sixteen to twenty ounces. Max i yeah i agree and like Like i said. I'm not big drinkers. There's a lot of people who don't drink. Milk and their children are fine. Yeah oh yeah you don't have to drink. You don't have to drink cow's milk. I think we like it just from a number standpoint because we're saying whole milk really for the first you know from age one to to It's a good source of fat and calories. It'll also help them be satiated in general and And it's got calcium and vitamin d. But there there are just more and more different types of alternative milks and so if you are the type of person who is not drinking. Cow's milk For any number of reasons. Just make sure that if you have a milk alternative that it's fortified hold up that nutrition facts label between the thing of milk and that milk alternative and just make sure that they've got the same pretty much the same thing for calcium vitamin d in their even. Asiedu a multivitamin also we we we. Don't we don't all live in hawaii where you natural vitamin d. Wash through your body. Wake man right. Wake up sunkissed. That's how you wake up the sun in your face or these roosters who can't time yeah. I have eight chickens. We had nine as of like a month ago. Arch in. Cuba is on the same side as our daughter's bedroom phew rick for that That rooster was donated to a family. That's the way that. I'm gonna put that sixteen ounces of milk. Yes sixteen ounce the milk. If you're not milk fortified always always put on my kids on a multivitamin as well answering these questions over. I think i think we just have a winchester paste to brush your teeth so you should start using to pays when the truth comes out. I two that i do comes out new. Whoever you toothpaste so there's literally zero reason for florida. Free toothpastes You can get these little cute kids to brushes come with the floor of free toothpaste Thrown in the trash. There's really no what once your kid gets a two out you can use regular flora toothpaste. Just the size of a grain of rice is what i tell. People really tiny smear is all you need. Obviously you know you have like One square millimeter of moved to that. You know your child is mainly just gonna swallow the toothpaste anyway. So just a real small amount to but that's not. My child is eleven months. And i totally forgot about using toothpaste own his teeth. He has eight of them now until we recorded this first episode. Four weeks ago. So i started using flora to phase right after we finished recording. That episode so swati. Even your local board certified pediatrician. Can't forget about toothpaste. So your child will be fine but yet start using toothpaste after you hear this episode. Go ahead and start us. If you haven't already go head start using it now It's a better better late than never is a good approach to a lot of taking care a man. 'cause i do tell. Parents start using toothpaste when the truth comes out and i totally forgot to deal with my kid. We started you know did using water. When came out and i just continue to use water so thank you swatting us. Well we're talking about this before because you help to you. Have you have good teeth right so in that case it's not i've been blessed. Yeah i i do. I i don't i don't i don't. I don't have to put on a prescription toothpaste Which i did not realize existed until i was put on description toothpaste so so i was like i got my kids. Eat the floyd. Oh so yeah. So thank you swap for for writing in with our first question. I hope i think we answered. I think we answered them your questions. So i hope sow sweaty. The if not shoes another well. I guess i guess that's it Yeah thanks against and for the rest of our listeners. All the both of you feel free to shoot us an email. Leave us a voicemail. Call our hotline. We'd love to hear. Yeah we would love to hear from you definitely. We would love to try to answer your questions after we rebel about whatever next week of course stay. Tuned will have a regular Episode will start talking about. What do you do now. That babies next episode so and Thank you very much for joining us and as always parenting challenge. Just because it's normal expected doesn't mean that it's easy so make sure to take the time to be kind to yourself so thank you very much and Have a good one bye.

dr phillip mccallen dr vallon valerie apple mickelson lawrence fillon girod hawaii minneapolis leonardo hodler
Season 3, Episode 144: Rachel

Heartbroken with Falen

34:58 min | 5 months ago

Season 3, Episode 144: Rachel

"Hi it's valid and you're listening to the harken podcast just want to say. I am so appreciative to everyone. Who takes a little time out of their day. It is officially june. It is pride month i fell. Today's episode was absolutely fitting for pride month We haven't shared a story like this before. So we'll be sharing rachel story momentarily. But first i wanted to kind of you know since we've been this together and you commit your time. You're dedicated the podcasts. Or the episodes that pique your interest. I did want to say I've said win. Were finishing up the podcast. I can't believe already been almost three years. And i'm i'm not gonna cry so with today's episode We'll have an episode next week. There will be a week off because that friday's actually recording the final episode. So i wouldn't have into later later in the day so i'm probably going to release that. I believe it's friday. June twenty-fifth as the last episode of the heartbroken compiled castle. Three more episodes that does include this one I do not know what's going on with my microphone this week last week. I know what the issue was. It was my error this week. It's the same thing. And i'm not sure with the issue as so i will look into that to make sure. Hopefully it's fixed for the final two episodes Yeah i don't understand how. I have so many technical errors But i appreciate your patience. I appreciate you listening. Hopefully you'll finish it out with the final three episodes and thank you so much for listening. Preacher joins me today on the heartbroken. Podcast rachel tell us a little bit about the story. You're going to share with us today. I grew up in a very conservative. And i thought loving home. It kind of transitioned into a a very difficult in vigorous loss situation where i've lost my entire family for being a gay and queer individual on fallon and this is the heartbroken. Everyone has experienced heartbreak in their life. Some more than others often. We feel like we're bothering our family or friends when we talk about it. I started this podcast to help those going through. Heartbreak share their stories. Sometimes it's easier to share with someone they don't know i hope it somewhat therapeutic for them. Maybe gives them some closure and to those listening. I hope it helps you feel less alone. Thank you for listening to the heartbroken. Podcast what we even briefly in that mullery till you talked about how you grew up a conservative home but it always fell very loving so maybe tell me a little bit about your upbringing. Your family sure. I grew up here in the twin cities very very normal upbringing with me and my siblings. My two parents kind of raised in a very catholic upbringing had very normal childhood experiences with loving parents probably on the more strict conservative approach to parenting But all in all pretty good experience with my name some some fairly maybe looking back on it some some more judgy approaches to other humans and i always knew i was a little different from everyone else around me growing up in a very small lake tight knit community but i knew i couldn't challenge a lot of that so i i kind of kept to myself allots and i and i expressed some of those things to my my mom's specifically that i didn't feel like i fit in with with with the girls growing up in a in with the boys but i always share that with her and she she kinda didn't really connect with that but joel he's always did the mom thing which was oh. I felt like that all the time growing up which was a very mom thing to do. Yep let's what but that's what we need him to say. Oh you know we felt that too. You're not alone. Feeling that rights. And as i got into high school like my mom was always which he need to like date boys and i didn't. I never felt comfortable doing nights. And that was always her thing like she'd love dating tons of different people before she married. My dad and i just never could do that and As i got into college and cloud sports i just was never feminine enough and i think there was worry on her end and my dad's end that know who's raised to the like a boy most of my life and then all the sudden it was like this is an acceptable into your twenties so and then shifted and they started getting worried and i was starting to get more depressed in have more mental health issues and i kind of couldn't contain any of that anymore if that makes sense yet how did their worry out to you. Was it them having conversations. Wiry dating someone or was there worry like. Yeah you know all the like the stereotypes of things Like it just all of a sudden was like my mom would like try to take me shopping and it was like where are these feminine. Things when that wasn't emphasized in my life ever before the really stereotypical like you know fearing that. You know what you look like and what you wear is then that that dictates your sexual orientation which is humorous when really think about it Do fit every stereotype. Now drive the subaru. I wear flannel. But i even when i knew i did pretty funny. But yeah so like. My mom was definitely like lowery's patterns on things like she never emphasized before she was always proud when i was my own person and hear about those things so then i was like. This doesn't make sense. I thought you loved that i would. I own person so yeah. We disagreed arguing a lot more and finding about things and that's how it kinda manifested of things. Just were not. We weren't on the same page and you grew up with brothers right. Yes and you have any sisters no sisters all brothers we. We all got along pretty well. Brian up is scary. Earns really enjoyed the relationships. We had Yeah so. I have great great relationships with my brothers growing up it was. It was fun to be a part of their world in every way so with Your mom kind of the one taking the lead trying to introduce you to you. Know this more feminine lifestyle. What was your dad doing. What kind of staying out of it. Letting her take the lead was he voicing concerns to you. Yeah on while yeah. My dad definitely took more of like the background. Things which was pretty typical in our household but Yeah he didn't he didn't really. He didn't really intervene much. Because i don't think he. He understood what was happening in because he was perfectly fine. With like appearance in those types of things He just didn't connect the two things. And i didn't vocalise like you know what was happening with points. And he needed very direct breach and When when you talk about rachel m with you and your mom fighting and everything and you talk about going into a depression was the depression Based around us struggling with With your identity was at a struggling with explaining to your mom or like at this point. Did you know like i'm not into guys. Yeah i knew for quite some time probably in high school for sure And it was like containing. It was like knowing that it wasn't going to probably sit well at least for a while. It was probably going to cause a little bit of problems. But eventually i thought it will be okay but i voided a lot of conflicts. On his that was kind of our family we auctioning operated. So i was trying to figure out how to do the minimal amount of conflict. Because that's what felt okay to at that time because i was finishing up my master's degree coincidentally in marriage and family therapy allow. The irony is not lost on. But i yeah so. I was trying to time it so that i could appropriately. Finish my dissertation and Yes i was trying to just planet so everything could be perfect which is also ridiculous but yeah so in your mind. I'll get. I'll finish up with all of this There will be. There'll have been enough time. They will maybe start realizing some things on their own so it won't be as hard of a blow at that what you were thinking. Yeah and like. I just figured you know it will be challenging for them. But you know. I'm i'm there. I'm their child. It's it's it's gonna be okay And that's that's not even remotely. What occurred. I use humor as a coping strategy. You know twelve years later still kinda. Lessen the blow reminds but i Yeah when i shared with my my mom. I i i i remember my my one older brother had one child at the time and i was holding my little niece and almost as like a shield in some way not that my mom would physically harm me but ranks. I was worried about some of the the things that would be said to me. So i i was holding her as like a comfort for myself. And you know she. She ripped her out of my arms. As a as if i was contagious. Don't you don't you touch her And she looked at me and was like infecting her home cheese. She wanted me out of there immediately. and this was actually like i didn't finish my dissertation at point so i i just it was either. I was going to slip into further depression and Where i needed to say something. Now i i just really my jaws just completely dropped because i understand that people will have reactions. Maybe they're not even proud of their own reactions By did you just did you just stated in the most like or did you kind of skirted around for a little bit. Try to build up to like over talk or did you just blurted out. I kind of just said you know you know mom had been feeling this way for so many years and building up to saying it's not easy but i'm gay and He just yeah. I've never seen such a look of horror and disgust in a human's face. That like i think. I went pretty numb. And like my amount of calm and at moments was pretty amazing but yes she wanted me. She wanted me out and packed as much stuff as it could and shortest timespan possible and got my car. And i don't even remember where i went but i didn't feel like i was safe anywhere at that point because they didn't know like who is okay to share like it's not okay to share. Its to your own parent like who is safe to talk to about it and you shared with anyone else. Other than your know didn't I first reaction then. Yeah so and i ended up telling my my my dad independently by himself and He didn't he was he is definitely more Biblical and like you know it. Then it became the the hell like you're going to hell and those types of things And so it's always been a choosing of their belief system belief systems and than me and So that was his approach and you know he a both kind of then supported each other's statements. And i try pretty hard for for the first light year and a half to try to like work with them. We went to therapy together to try to like just unique. It became so difficult to just have basic conversations. That didn't involve them saying how terrible person i was which was still the same person but yeah and i. Yeah over the years I've had the place in valerie's or just general basic human decency and those things couldn't really exist. So i haven't had any really good healthy conversation in twelve years with my parents so after the initial conversation with your mom did you kind of did you kind of ignore it and like as far as i'm just casually throwing your brother's birthday maybe like a month later and you go to the house for a birthday thing you just casually nord until they make a random dig at you. Is that how it was. Yeah i've tried. Yeah so like. I'd show up at things and Yeah it was like it was like my mom had amnesia in so she would forget that he said these things and she would try super hard to be like. You need dave this person who need to date this person. And there was like talks of like me. Going to conversion therapy and things like that. And i was like what and that was all like more private discussion type stuff but like when it was like with in front of relatives or family members it was all like who can rachel dates and i would go up to my mom and be like you know that this isn't going to happen. Like we had this discussion and she was like i don't know what you're talking about Yeah and so this. Full back and forth thing So i had to tell her again like a year and a half later that like the sane coming out story and she was just like beyond herself like she was like. I can't believe you're telling me this. I had no idea and i was like what what's happening. I did it a public setting this time. Because i was like. I didn't feel safe doing it in our in my childhood home. So that's eventually where most of our conversations would end up would be in public places. How did your brothers react. Yeah ever unusually likes to think. Oh you know the younger generations. it's going to be fine. Don't my brothers fully supported my parents and unfortunately Yeah it's the same I don't have conversations or relationships of my brothers and their subsequent children. i don't know any in my nieces or nephews. Unfortunately and i i won't tell you. How many nieces or nephews i have because i feel like that's very good. Tell of who my family members are. But yeah i think that's the most heartbreaking thing is knowing my family gets together all the time and they live very close to me i live. This is embarrassing. But i live a mile from my parents house We my wife. And i love the house we live or like. We're not moving yeah knowing that my parents have like sunday get together with my brothers and take family photos with all their grandchildren. And i don't get to be there and say you don't even get the casual text or call at all. No no never. Are you like facebook friends with them. See see photos randomly. I had to block everyone from facebook. Says it was this persistence. Nolte everything in the beginning like the first five years was like telling me that i was going to hell that i was now this horrible person which i'm you know you. Can you can with me like that's fine. I i don't even care about the gis aspect of it like people don't have to agree with my life that's fine But the basic human decency. Or believing that i should have human rights feels like just a baseline of like yeah women behavior but those things were not even like those things weren't even there so then i just had to do some really basic protection of like myself and not nods Having them the able to look me up on facebook things like that because it was it was just everywhere like literally any you live so close to you. Have you ever run into your own numbers. Like a target or something. My favorite place on the planet is target and so to turn the corner and you know essentially sushi. Your mother is for most people like a wonderful thing. Oh my gosh is good to see you know like what are you up to this week. No it's it's it's been my pure like fear. I usually scan the parking lot before. I go in to see if i know like her car. Is there And this was like a very ptsd Response which i use that term with seriousness. Because i am a therapist and with my own therapists and so i would have this scanning of Of the parking lots. And i would often go into new sore with like looking over my shoulder constantly and my heart was pounding and so shopping for years was always just so scary. I don't do it as much anymore. But i'd say like around like holidays or Like mother's day or father's day or people's or this. I'm definitely more heightened to run into people. Because i i i'm i'm an emotional person like me me. Having to be authentic to who i am and like i can't change this part of me by still wanting the approval in the love of the people who who created at you and you know put you landed. Don't think ever goes away. But you like continue to tried to just be a good person Yeah it's very challenging. It's just it's really challenging. I like that they do they ever even by text or call you on your birthday. I do get a text from my dad on my birthday and that's about as much contact. And you know he. He has said like oh i. I'd love to walk around a lake with you. And i asked him. You know at the open to doing that if you know you can. Reconcile some of the statements about me not deserving equal rights. And he's like yeah. I'm not gonna do that And i was like well. Then i you know i don't feel very safe docking around a lake with you. And he doesn't understand he doesn't understand that And i i feel bad for him in some ways. I feel bad for both my parents. I love them But an respect them still. I don't respect their belief systems in that way but they're allowed to have it but that doesn't mean i need to know our yes you said earlier. You're married that the time in your life when you do made some one you want to introduce them to your family. You want your family to be a part of it to an extent. I mean everyone has their boundaries with that as well what was your courtship and released agent marriage in wedding and everything no actually been together with my wife for just just about as long as i've been out So i knew her Prior to coming out out your friends for quite some time but yeah we've been we've been together for ever. It feels like yes. She'd laugh at. She heard me say that. But i don't know we got married rate as it became legal and it was such an amazing thing to experience with people that are chosen to be my family and for people like friends and i had some relatives at the the events which was great to have awesome cousins. Who know have always just been by my side which is fantastic. But yeah and so. We've built our own little life together and it makes me sad that my family just dozens part of it. But they're always welcome over to our house if they knocked on the door tomorrow. I'd say hey come on in. Let's have a chats. But i know that's not reciprocated. I've i've heard multiple times that i'm not welcome home. Saw ask you what any basically answered. It wouldn't be as simple as them just acknowledging. Hey don't have to agree. You're my daughter. I love you. I'm going to show you respect. And not say horrible things about your life in your afterlife. Be as simple as that you guys could go on. Do you feel like you would still know. Deep down how they felt. It would feel very surface very fake spending time with them. Would you rather have that than nothing. Yeah yeah that's always been a hard like thing for me. Like i like one of my biggest things is authentic. The don't like fake like surfaces things knowing that like if they just were like. Hey we don't agree completely with this but you know what we we love you. We you know we were were welcome will were welcoming both of you into our home. That would be amazing Their version of all of this is usually to have me show up and just in corner and don't talk to anyone about my life because it's inappropriate to talk to anyone about my life especially to children. I'm not allowed to do that. But i can show up to things even though they won't invite me sentence but i'm supposed to not all so it's like this weird and us invitation to just observe everyone else's life but don't talk about my own And don't show up with my wife because that would indicate that year in a fish and chip that they don't acknowledge so yeah. I'd be totally game for them to be like. Yeah you both are allowed to come over if you don't agree with you. But that's okay and i totally feel i watch obviously rachel. I haven't had this experience. And i mean i have friends who shared their stories with me. The past how easy or difficult it was coming out and may have friends. That still don't have never officially come out to their parents even though their parents. I think there's an understanding they know but they're still too afraid it honestly My good friend. That's in that situation Her mother's very catholic too. I think it's just she just would rather keep their relationship almost and just go about her life the way she is currently and do have you. I mean since. I know i watch movies now. And they're they're so great about showing parents being so loving and accepting when they took the most recent example i can think of is like love. Simon which is for just i love that movie so much in general and the dad has a bad reaction but then he does exactly what you hope he completely realizes this is my son comes back around and just wants to be involved in his life because he still his said at the end of the day. It hard for you to even watch like a movie like that. Yeah i always always cry. Whenever there's elves representation news shows or whatever and usually see some sort of like amazing resolution in a short period of time in you in a two hour movie in always like that's amazing that's beautiful. Yeah even my dane. Queer friends like the majority of them have their families in their corners. And they all come to their weddings. And i'm not the person who likes is bitter and resentful that my friends have great things. I i but like i'd be lying to you. If i don't have a tinge of sadness that creeps my heart and i think about what my life could have been like you know these last twelve years if if i had this you know the the ability to call my my mom if if i didn't know how to do something call my dad and be like. Hey how do. I fix this thing on my house Because that's that's the relationship we had before all this stuff went down and instead it's always been me trying to figure out life and trying to build relationships and build trust with other people where now m so distorted about that. I feel like i'm supposed to do everything by myself and challenging. Yeah exactly how could i not. But even the chosen family. That i have i love them so much known you since i was born and i i feel bad because like you know they didn't. They can choose obviously happy in their life and i love them to pieces. But like you know you know. You're not really part of their family. 'cause you know above their their couch in their living room is in a giant picture of them not in it and i know that but like that's the continuous term in big loss. You've never heard there never part of your own thing. We wake up every day. Opening that it's going to be something different and it never and you always hold onto a tiny little bit of hope but it never happens and i i work through that daily as as practicing therapists for people which is important and i consider myself my stuff aside to help others but like the sadness and i think that's why i wrote into you is like it's a very different kind of heartbreaking that i think maybe the tq committee that maybe not a wrong shears. The story with me. But i think it's an important one year especially during pride among it's it's not always rainbows and and i hate bad so much and i hate that. That's my story. And i think people do keep a distance for me sometimes because i am a very realistic person not always rainbows and unique corns. But i get that so much. Because we i just like i can feel that desire to have that because in that holding on that strain of we come into this world. Our parents are supposed to love us unconditionally. They are support. They are security to have that completely ripped away from you and you didn't even even people who haven't upbringing with maybe a non reliable parent for whatever. Reason is not life in general. Maybe they have addiction issues. Maybe whatever it is you. People even have a shred of hope that they will change their life and want to be in their life. It's this this natural thing within so for you to have had as seemingly perfect very loving full family upbringing to have that completely ripped away from you. How could you not have that desire. Like almost dream to. I wish we could just go back in time and be or. I wish we could just go back to the way things were. It really wouldn't be that difficult it really wouldn't it really wasn't and you know i think in just growing obviously in the last twelve years very different in many ways and i think my my social justice for all human means is very different than theirs And and i come to know that. Like i don't think like we would be hanging out on a you know every other day basis. I think we've we do find ourselves on various systems in many ways. And i think that's okay I think it's it's the sense of What what therapist would call a trauma mastery like he just wanna you wanna you wanna master it and fix it which is not not all that bad but i see that in in the work that i do like. I'm a trauma therapist experts. So like i see myself working with people with trauma and so it doesn't surprise me that this is the type of work that i've come to do is helping others nassar their own trauma do you look. I'm sure you do but look to the future as your parents get older and just have this fear that you don't even know them at the end of their life. They don't know you they don't know the person you love the most in the world. What is the fear that goes around in your mind as you look to the future without your family in your life. You've done it for twelve years but you still even now with you mentioning. There's a shred of help it because they're still probably a lot of time ahead of you that you're like okay. We could potentially one day. Maybe fix this. Maybe you know but as time gets farther along that that can become less likely. So what is your fear looking to the future or do you have any. Maybe you won't. You don't know. I definitely my biggest fear. Is that my parents Get sick There are. They're dying we haven't had any time to resolve the things between us and and that's it and i you know i had some friends. Parents pass away and You know just watching them. Go through those things. And then i i just keep thinking this is going to be so challenging But yeah that's my biggest fear is that time is going to run out and it's going to happen fast. Yeah you are You got i mean. Obviously you're in the career path Your therapist do you have any advice for anyone listening right now. Who maybe maybe maybe have short advice for the various stages of someone. Maybe they're listening and they're afraid to come out because they don't want this to happen or maybe someone is in your position. Maybe things you've learned a long way. Yup great question. I you know. I respect people's timelines of like whether they come out or not. There's obviously reasons why people do or don't I think it's my best advice for people is find a good therapist to talk to. I'm all about mental health and making sure people feel good. You don't have to have this full blown mental health crises to go talk to a therapist. I understand the accessibility of also seen there. But talk to somebody about it. Talk to somebody you can trust to even if it's not a provider but see what you can do. See if he can. I process some of the stuff. It's the best thing to do their pissy therapists for reasons to So that's my biggest advice is processed through some stuff and see coming out is the best option for you. And if it isn't that's okay too But talking curtis well rachel. I appreciate you sharing restoring so much hype catholic. You said with the being pride month. I think this is such an important story to share for people to hear. Maybe it'll help someone be more Open maybe it'll help someone feel Which is the goal less alone I am so that you deal with this daily. I just can't imagine so. My heart goes out to you. I as i mentioned before. He was recording. These podcasts person is. I wish i could actually give you a hug from like arch will host virtual hug and i just really wanted. Thank you for taking the time today to share this story with us. Thank you so much vallon. Thank you and thank you for listening to harper podcast.

rachel mullery depression rachel m fallon facebook lowery joel amnesia Nolte valerie Brian dave Simon trauma curtis vallon
Special Episode: CSOs, Sales Leaders, and Cool Vendors

Accelerate!

26:32 min | 4 months ago

Special Episode: CSOs, Sales Leaders, and Cool Vendors

"Her friends today. We have a special episode of sales enablement with anti paul as your this. Podcast is part of the ring. Dna family today. We're excited to announce the ring. Dna the revenue acceleration platform has been named a cool vendor like gartner. So what is cool vendor. You ask well. According to gartner cool vendor as a company offering technology that is innovative. It enables users to do things that they couldn't do before and a cool vendor is impactful meaning it has there. We'll have a business impact. Not just technology for its own sake and a cool vendor is intriguing so to learn more head during the dot com slash cool vendor now to celebrate this. We wanted to bring you a special conversation between howard brown. Our ceo and founder of ring. Dna william tyree cmo of ring dna and ryan vallon court senior director of enterprise sales at ring. Dna and in this conversation. They'll be discussing how cool companies are using ring. Dna to drive faster growth. Okay let's jump into it. Here's howard william and ryan. Heim william tyree. Cmo ring dna here with my colleagues howard brown. Founder and ceo vring dna ryan vallon court senior director sales. We're here to talk about strategies for revenue growth so really important time to talk about that because buyer behaviors completely changed and bb. Sales teams are totally failing so just as some examples just to kind of frame the conversation we know that sellers are engaged in only about seventeen percent of the total buyer journey. Right now which is astonishing further. We know that forty four percent of millennial buyers want a totally seller free experience. That's really amazing. In by the way they're okay with that for purchases in excess of fifty thousand dollars to serious problem out there sellers expect to take buyers along linegar track that's not really working for buyers buyers one stars to understand their needs. They want personalized experience. At about two thirds. Say that's not even close to happen. So howard like to go to you. I just say. Why is this happening where our sellers. Totally missing it. It's happening for a lottery. I think buyer expectations have completely changed all been affected by digital transformation. That's happening the consumer space. So in many ways we've all been primed amazon to expect a friction free buying experience. We expect the service to know what we want when we want it to understand preferences and to deliver just in time that information to make that sales process to make buying experience the best possible and which really fascinating is. What's differentiating great. Companies from the other is really the the customer experience that is what's differentiating products and services. More than anything else. So you can have a great product. You can deliver a great service but if your customer service function if you're buying function is it up to par. You're not going to get the sale absolutely ryan. Your sales teams are in front of enterprise buyers all time in. What are you seeing out there in terms of challenges that that both sellers and buyers are having look. I mean in order to be effective in a complex. Bb to b. environment there so much that the seller actually has to know into master. Why did they have to know so much information. Why did have to master so much information. It goes back to the buyer expectation right buyers in a b. two b. context. Why do they do they want. That friction lists experience. What did they wanna interact with fewer sellers because many of their experiences are with human beings who do not understand what they're trying to solve don't have empathy for appreciation for the stakes that they have in what they're trying to all right so too many bad experiences so they want to try to get the information elsewhere right so that the challenges that were having a sales leaders sales manager sales organizations is. How do we teach and train sales reps to laster all of the information. They need to know such that. They can be effective consultants but also to master the techniques of just listening and learning so that they can understand what it is the buyers really trying to solve your think you bring up a really important point which is buyers aren't really interested in being sold to. They're looking for help and they're looking for help at the moment that they need. It's no longer about sellers pushing their wares. It's about me having a need. You recognizing it and you helping me solve a problem. That's what's changed so ryan i know you and your teams in front of enterprise buyers all the time how our sellers prepared for this new reality. In general the reality is most of them aren't and that's why many of them are struggling. The buyers who want to or need to engage with the sales organization to get value out of that. They need to work with someone who is an expert credible authority somebody that they get value out of spending time with them constantly. So how you be that value add consultant two things one. You need the ability. You need the skills of practiced skills to be able to unearth and understand. What is it about what this person what this company is really trying to achieve because whatever it is probably extremely important and really big for that individual or that group of individuals and understanding at really hard have to learn how to be able to gather that kind of information then once you learn what were you do about it. In order to provide that value all along the way there so much that a seller bb seller to know needs to learn how does my service and product differentiates from what else is available the credibly complicated market. That has also actually confusing buyers right. What is what is the right variation of the solutions that i have available to me to solve these complex problems so really really really smart women men out there in the sales profession. It's complicated to learn and master all this information so that you can ultimately deliver absolutely so howard. Companies need arm wraps had go to market teams in general with what they need to succeed. Hauer are the teams that are not hitting missing the mark. Well i think in general we. We've seen more just more sales reps. Bigger quotas shorter periods the ramp time they expectations of sales teams are growing and growling. The cost of sale continues to go up. And we're arming them. With and more tools. But that doesn't necessarily make them better. We're giving them more tools to learn more tools to engage but that's not necessarily driving the value. A lot of these tools unfortunately existed sales support success marketing and they're collecting a lot of data on the customer or the prospect but that data is not being surfaced in the moment. Where sales reps as ryan's been talking about really needed in order for them to be masters they need that data in the moment so that they can address the concerns of the buyer. Right done in there and just to add onto that and not having that information. What is the consequence of that. The consequence of that is you know. A a buyer has a really important question. They're stuck on something. How do i saw us in. How are you going to help me. If i cannot answer that or provide some value to you almost immediately. I'm starting to realize that. I i'm not getting enough at our ally out of this interaction. Undergoing off bingo. If you can't deliver you're gonna go out center. And i expect that's what's critical is buyers. Don't want to be sold to. They want help you. Don't walk into a store and ask someone to sell southern to you. You ask for help and win last for that help. They better provide it. And that means you have to be in textual you have to be a master. You have to know about your product service. You have to understand the competitor. You have to understand the buyer. What they're paying is. It's a lot of information in frankly. It's overwhelming and yet. We expect reps to get there yet there faster and perform better and that's a problem especially when you consider that sellers are getting about half the number of audit compensation with buyers today. They were ten years ago. So you have to absolutely be ready. Almost every market is completely saturated with competitors. You have to surface that information in real time. As you're talking about kind to say william starting of your train of thought about why. The number of quality conversations is actually going down. Despite the fact that howard is mention we're giving sellers more sellers more tools. Desert will never been more productive right. We're all getting more cold calls. I get more cold calls and the more calls. The more dials their. They're not getting better right. They're not actually getting those results. Part of the reason rubbing fewer these conversations because we all been primed that when we get a call from salesperson. It is not going to be worth my time. And it's not needed at guilt or going back to wound stats like they. Don't wanna talk to you until they're ready to talk. And by the way you're inundating with calls emails text messages every possible channel and that gets annoying and what it does cause you to shut down and search out as much information and it's everywhere your competitor information is out there. There's review sites where you could collect information. You can go to your website. The last thing i want us to go to your website. We're more about your product or service than you can provide me so you better know what's on that website and you better not spend a lot of time talking about things that they can get by themselves by shopping. Online hundred percent so howard. I know people come to you all the time. Cro's yes owes asking your advice. What are the things that you're hearing again and again in terms of the top two or three homes. Look i think most. Cro's most board members. They're wondering why they're not getting the return on the investments that they were promised when they bought technology or training. It's fallen short and the reality is a lot of these technologies while great aren't delivering because they're not providing the insight center needed. They're not helping them figure out what is working. And what is not worry. It doesn't help them. Focus on the reps. That need the most help. The whole idea is to look across your entire sales marketing and success process and essentially apply an x ray to it looking for. What are the best reps doing. What is it that they have. It's not magic. They're doing something. There's a science behind the so if you take your technology and you're not looking across every aspect of what your team is doing looking for those differentiator. Then you're going to miss the mark because that insight once you know it once you're able to apply it not just as training but consistent coaching. That's when you'll see exponential returns on your vestment in tools and in people absolutely what about the eighty twenty rule. Does that still apply in sales. Do we still have an issue. Where twenty percent of the wraps are just so much better at asking. Discovery questions using reflective. Listening in. We need to know how to benchmark that at scale it across teams data percent and the problem. Is we just have no idea why. Those twenty percent are over performing the rest of that group right hours talking about like we don't need necessarily more data or or more dashboards good example. You don't need to be a rocket scientist to know that to be effective in sales. You've got to be a really good listener. Your average sales manager has absolutely no insight into who on the team actually is ineffective listener right in to be able to show across the team. The correlation between certain behaviors like really good listening and results. And so we don't teach don't train to it the reps that eighty percent. They don't know what good sounds like. They don't know what it looks like to be an effective listener. I love the analogy of comparing a sales rep and a sales manager coach to rockstar. All star player. Because what's amazing about athletes. Today we register every move. They may we look at their strength training. We look at how they move. We look how they shoot the ball how they throw a ball. We are analyzing every part of the process to help them improve in those areas where the most improvement were attempting to apply that same technology to sales reps till the sales process to go to market tease. We want to look at noon tiger balm we want to look at what needs the most improvement and why the problem is to your point. You got eleven people to manage. How do you know who to listen to voodoo. Pay attention to. It's nearly impossible and so we need to use data artificial intelligence insights to surface. Those things are whether it's below or above so that we know where and when and to pay attention to to turn everybody into stars athletes masters and the good news. Is that the technology available to all of us has evolved so much that it actually is possible now to identify exactly those insights in identify those behaviors in patterns that are correlating with certain kinds of results. We also are living era where senior israeli short right wraps are moving around a lot. Only like twenty percent of str's are even getting promoted to the next level so if we could reinforce this training do you think we could actually see an era where close percentages go up. Well we better right if we don't make changes and just continue to throw more and more and more. The cost of acquisition of new customer will continue to go up. Your churn. rate isn't going to get any better right because customers have more choices and so you have to provide a better experience. Whether it's your support experience your sales experience you have to constantly think about what it is that your customer needs and so we don't live in the day and age where it's not possible to deliver that experience. It's more than possible. We collect information from marketing from sales from support from every interaction we know top performers are doing while it's time to take that data and to present it in context because i can't ask a rep to know every industry to know every title every icp to know our tool and everybody else's tool but what can do we can provide them real context real situational awareness through artificial intelligence so that when they are on call when they are in a situation that is presented to them. They don't have to go scurrying to find it. They don't have to know every play that they need to run that data those plays are presented to them when they need it most and because of that we all expect a better model with a better return on investment one hundred percent now. The good news is that we've entered a new era right. We all know the world has changed. We have a lot of talk about the revenue operate. Small companies that are adopting revenue operations are on average. I think doing about twenty percent more revenue than their peers in their category stats. Big time right. I think it's through that supplies data model that we actually get to some of that data that can inform these compensations. Real-time but howard there's pitfalls yeah and you're gonna get me off on a bit of a tangent here around robots and i love excitement about rev ops and. I think it's awesome. That twenty percent are seeing the left or whatever the number is. The problem is most ops they're defining as a cro or somebody in charge of revenue. Or you know. We're going to look at our data is structure or we're gonna buy a Tool reva is really about process and data and tooling and all of that combined and yet. S- you start making changes to your data infrastructure to the dynamics of your leadership team at takes time energy. You're talking about quota changes. That's not easy and so in today's world where your board is expecting a change in revenue not and six months not in a year not in two years via ops transformation their thirty sixty days so we can do something about that. You don't have to upset the whole cart. You can apply tools that look at your marketing. Your sales rep performance an extract that in real time to make teams more effective and more efficient makes total sense ryan. What are some specific examples of companies. That that we're working with that are doing this really well like gifts a couple of anecdotes specifically how it's been a needle. I mean i'll give you something really simple talk about needing results in thirty sixty days Let's start there. So our customers are arming sales reps with real time notifications in their sales conversations. Imagine everybody's using technology right now. You make a phone call using technology on your computer. But when i call powered and howard says hey yeah sounds great. Send me an email. That's an objection. Right will guess what that company our customers know. The best way to overcome at objection or for some companies found something like this. All i'd be happy to send you. You know what about what. I shared so far most interesting to you about half the time. That will actually keep the conversation going to give you the opportunity to Meeting that sales rep there learning objection handling their learning their product in their space. They're not going to remember that. Among the fifty million things they learned draining but when they had that little screen pop on their phone. They overcome that objection. Or when howard says how are you different from big name. Competitor learning about big name competitor on day two of training. But i kind of forget how different. I've got a little papa. Screen right gives me that. Distilled messaging and i tell her. Yeah okay cool. Like i'll i'll meet with you next week so what we're doing is we're helping our customers. They are sales reps master. The most important parts of conversations top of the funnel like those examples but also later down the funnel that they're eliminating all of those mistakes that anyone is gonna make when they're learning new information about that pattern recognition and behavior. The result of that is reps ramping much faster and also just significantly more pipeline faster. Yeah what i love. Obviously you're describing windy name. It's what we're so excited about is we're taking all of this. Data that exists in salesforce exists in your phone calls. It exists in your sales play. Books were quickly integrating that in days. Were unleashing it. On the sales teams were giving the sales leaders immediate visibility into what's working what's not and we're adapting the playbook in real time through guided selling through conversation intelligence and then ultimately through our yoda. Ai product which in turn is delivering that insight in the moment which is ultimately what is driving the most productivity in change in results. I give you an example speaking of ring. Dna talking about what's happening with our customers. I'll take everybody's inside our sales organization so ringing as of product that only works with salesforce so our team when they're making prospecting calls. They need to verify that the account that the colorado among us sales basic pre qualification requirement prior to having access to this technology. We had problem on the. Start witches especially sdr's they would spend fifteen minutes in maybe a great conversation book meeting that account that we'd find a dozen sailors. What a profound ways. Not only of our time but a waste of the customers time pam a bad experience so when we introduce this technology now we can enforce that behavior when we launched this far the on any given week they were getting notifications from this iota product. About twelve hundred twelve hundred times per week across the team so that was twelve hundred times an sdr. A certain point in the conversation forgot to verify sales right four weeks later hundred fifty times a week so that is a. What is a dramatic reduction in that mistake. Were getting time back. They're making more calls. They're having more conversations. That's a simple example but those really do buildup it's faster ramp. There's more conversations pipeline absolutely no howard as a ceo. I know you care a lot about morale which affects churn if you're a rabbi and you can actually track that kind of progress. What kind of impact that have across the sales team on terms of training retention things like that. Yeah well let's face it. We want to perform at our best. And we all wanna move quicker and if reps are able to onboard quicker. If they're able to start hitting numbers are able to perform and feel like they're able to better connect with customers that changes your entire organization because you're building an organization around growth whether it's personal growth professional growth. These tools enable you to perform better. And if you're performing better you're feeling better. And what's so exciting. Is these notifications. This training doesn't just happen from top down. The best reps are the ones that want to continue to learn and grow and what we're seeing. Is that their neighboring. The tools to help them exceptional at their craft. And that i couldn't be more excited about. I gotta add one more thought to that question around morale and like employee. Turn a big reason. I even came. During as because as a sales manager to previous company which i adored and loved i was so frustrated by my inability as a sales manager to understand what was working. What wasn't was bang. My head against the wall trying to teach all these sales reps to sell the way that i sold that. That's impossible at everybody cells in different ways and i. I couldn't figure out really how to the need on. I basically said. I'm going to go figure out how to use data to move the needle because that's what we want to see that when when we make changes when we have theories about what is going to work that we can test measure whether it did or didn't and sometimes when it doesn't it's just as exciting when is being able to actually know right. That's what's keeping certainly me but also the team just excited about getting better on a weekly basis. Yeah what. I love about that example. Look the reason. I brought you in during dna is. You're the best sales coach. I've ever met your an incredible sales leader. But how do i bottle you up. How do i help you coach at scale. How could i take what you do. Your individual wraps package that up and give it to the masses and that exponential effect you've brought by putting you essentially i have ryan built into the yoda a i therefore all the reps are gaining from your goodness. And that's what's so special okay. So we've talked about time to value and how important that is right. You're in front of your board your sierra. Eso need to make a big impact in thirty sixty ninety days. But that's not the that enterprise software applications have right. Howard how is this different absolutely so through the utilization of artificial intelligence modern sales tools today out of the box come with insights built into the solution so that they can immediately start delivering that valid. Yeah i think what we're talking about is it's thought leadership baked into technology right. Because you know. I shared a little bit about my story. Managing previous sales teams. I was struggling with connecting the dots between revenue results in. Actually how we got there right. I didn't have the tools to coach with data mo- sales managers on day. One when you invest in technology like this. They don't necessarily know how to go. Find the right insights right but the best technologies today is giving on day one and instructive for those managers in what to do about it guys. This has been amazing. A really love this. I personally learnt so much today. I would encourage everybody. If we can be helpful in any way reach out to myself howard or ryan you can also learn about us at ringing dot com. Okay friends. that's it for this episode to learn more about why gartner named ring. Dna a cool vendor head over during dna slash cool vendor and thank you so much for investing your time with me today as always grateful for your support of the show until next time. I'm your host any paul goodsell

howard brown ryan vallon howard ryan gartner william tyree howard william Heim william tyree linegar Hauer amazon rockstar salesforce william
Comic Magician "Amazing Johnathan" Interview & Set       Show #78

Standup Comedy "Your Host and MC"

45:31 min | 2 months ago

Comic Magician "Amazing Johnathan" Interview & Set Show #78

"Hey welcome ladies and gentlemen his stand up comedy hosting mc. Before i start this shows podcast. You've been listening who've been enjoying so i wanted to bring the next level of comedy entertainment education to you. I've got a new website it's called. Www scott's comedy stuff. Dot com fancy name scott's comedy stuff. Anyway go to this site. You can see some great pictures of all the stars at work. My clubs. I just started a new online comedy school. That helps you become a comic from comedy producers point of view. There's also a video archive if you've enjoyed the podcast with the live comedy. Imagine seeing bob. Saginaw paula poundstone entertain live on stage. This is a great opportunity to check out all the stuff that comes with this podcast including the past episodes of this podcast. So here we go with this week show but if you get a chance. Check out scott's comedy stuff dot com. Thanks for listening. And here's this week's news podcast. This is another episode of stand up comedy. Your host and mc celebrating forty plus years on the fringe of show business stories interviews and comedy sets from the famous and not so famous. Here's your host and emcee scott at words ladies and gentlemen. It's another amazing guest for our interview today. Thanks for joining us boy. I'm so excited. This guy is one of the most high energy funny magical. that's right. he's a comic magician. Guys in the business. Please welcome to our show today. Amazing jonathan wow good. Have you on the show. Jonathan you have been such a successful comic magician. Thanks for joining us today problem. It's time you already had caused back. You already had mike any well. You know i was working up to the best. You ran out you. It's so funny mentioned kozak. I ran into him. He has a little Magical theater show in on the big island of hawaii and right near. How'd you find you run into you. Know why yeah. Yeah we have a time share over there and we've actually gone by and seen him a couple of times but it's just funny to hear you mentioned his name in this context but hey we're gone off track already Ladies and gentlemen amazing. Jonathan worked for me several times in the mid eighties. He is one of the most high energy audience participation comic magicians out there. Jonathan what what kind of got you started. Was it the comedy. The how'd you get into show business now. I started a magician and was just putting around doing magic. When i was kid and then started doing any kind of shows i could get my hands on. And then he did. The high school talent show which ended my magic career that yeah i did six tricks For the talent show. Everybody was my mom my schoolmates. My friends and six tricks did not work. Every single one of malfunctioned and bombed And actually kill the dove. I was chasing it and it stopped and i ran over and killed. The levitation. didn't work. The guillotine didn't work. I did a sword cabinet where girl gets into box. And she got a leg cramp and had to get out right away in your way out of the box. It was just total while what an introduction to magic in high school peers. Yeah no but you know you know how bad it was they were. Nobody even mentioned it the next day. They didn't tease me about it. They didn't that's pretty bad when they don't even they didn't even look me in the eye. They just ignored me and that was the last magic show. I think i ever performed straight magic. Now you ended up adding comedy now. You're doing magic and high school. You kinda gave it up after that amazing show. What got you back on stage. Because that's tough to overcome. Well me back on stage. I went out to california. And and we hitchhiked to california in san francisco. I saw street performance working in. And i needed money and we decided to stay out there instead of going back to detroit from and we started performing and and that time on the street. You remember a whitney brown on the streets or freddie understand harry. Anderson was on the street. And it was harry. That kind of took me under his wing in troby how to do the street and then I had a comedy to it and then it started working for me. And i started getting good crouch on the street. Wow that's fascinating start but learning on the streets of san francisco. There's a lot of talented jugglers and comics. But and magicians like you mentioned harry anderson who cut their teeth on the streets. I did not know that was your background. How long were you on the street about two years. And then when you start getting really good down the street you're crowds start to get really enormous and I got arrested Every weekend for obstruction because my crowds would go out into the street and as soon as they stepped out on the street the cops were laying and they would arrest me so i had to stop doing that and at the time. Their comedy clubs who are just starting out in their holy city. Zoo in san francisco is open. And and so i moved my show indoors and started doing nightclubs and at that time. It was dana. Carvey robin williams that that was the gang. I came up with doing comedy well and didn't actually do your show at the holy city zoo. Yeah oh yeah oh man. We've told the podcast listeners. In the past that is a famous club it had maybe twenty. Four seats a really teeny stage. There was a balcony that actually held like two or three people. I mean it was one of the smallest rooms in the history of comedy. Entertainment and yet people like robin williams dainik carbonate and apparently right amazing jonathan worked at. That's incredible i. Was there the night robin brought his contract and we got more committee and he brought his contracts and told everybody and we were looking through his contracts. Some five thousand dollars a week. That's incredible heaps money but yeah robin Was there and then dana. Carvey and god everybody at that time. Vallon too generous and and It was a great great eric. Come up doing comedy and you can also boarding house and always area. This there was like probably about twenty rooms within Three hour drive you know. Oh no san francisco was definitely a hub and a birthplace for a lot of the entertainers. Our audiences heard of in Enjoyed on television and many many more. That made good careers and entertainment. Never got famous. This must have been late seventies early eighties that you were doing this. Yes tony depaul on the room. And then he sold it off and then people robin bought into it. And i went for quite a while and It was great because you know coming off the streets. My in my energy level was twice as high because it's hard to get crowds and crowds on the street so you had to really do. Manic mannix Material and keep their interest So they wouldn't just walk away. But once i got into a nightclub that energy transformed into a really really high energy. Active people haven't seen before so that helped me out quite a bit coming from the street. Oh yeah and that's Some of the fondest memories. I have of you on my stages was that high energy not only some magic Very very funny and the other thing was you were really good. Interacting with the audience and that too probably comes from the street. Yeah well yeah improv does. Yeah we were people with more. Being in a fistfight out. There people would jump you for your money. It was pretty rough. You know so. When i went indoors so it was like there was a luxury for me. It was really. That's a big change from trying to Corral a crowd out on the street to having a paid crowd sitting there that actually want to be entertained. that's that's a great start not an easy one. That's a difficult start in entertainment. How did you end up working for me at laughs. did you well I started going know the guy who owned the punchline comedy club. John fox took three acts from san francisco And it was me and will durst and berry. So i believe anything took us to the improv in los angeles to showcase i was showcased standard Evening at the improv was there they were. They were buying acts. Hbo was there was a huge deal. And that was one of the three com. Expect and that night. I kicked ass at the improv. Never done any other rooms before except for the local san francisco rooms but that night i got. I got three major. Tv shows In one night. I got evening at the improv got. Hbo young comedians special. And i got David letterman afford thicke of the while. Tonight so i got three immediately. And then one one spun up the letterman show spun off bat so one little fifteen minutes showcase got me four major. tv shows. And then i started working a touring around. And i got to get an agency. I got spotlight agency which had some of the best comics at the time and I worked for them until they went bankrupt and stole three hundred thousand dollars from me. Oh everybody everybody else happened. That was that was a nightmare. But yeah for years i started touring and that's how i ended up at cat. I laugh eliminated. I'm sure well it's interesting because We've tried to share with the audience. How important timing is that you could be one of the funniest comics ever and i could name several. That just never got that chance at tv or fame and fortune. And then someone like you. You happen to do that. Showcase you were picked to go down by john fox who we were like competitors and peers at the time and get that opportunity to get an connect with those shows You had time time. Definitely play storytime. Plus they had never seen the energy that was expanding out. You know so. They were just. They wanted to be right away. The you know people will. After i got off stage. I was approached by hbo and everybody re immediately pretty heady stopped being able to These shows to do and and and and the snowball just kept growing from there. You know well. I think you know taken the story from the beginning being a guy that had to cut his teeth and try to make a living scratching out enough money for food and stuff on the streets to within a couple of years getting that showcase in having people throwing contracts at you i mean that had to be not only exciting and fun but a bit scary to. That's a lot to have happened in a short amount of time. Yeah i don't remember being scared except for doing letterman. I don't remember ever being scared. I was pretty pretty pretty for all. Yeah i was kinda banu. The show was good. I knew that it was different. There wasn't anybody doing what i was doing. Except for maybe penn and teller but they didn't really have the laughs i had. They were neighbor clever but they didn't have to lapse so my whole thing was the amount of laps i got per second. We're we're you know a lot about my laps per minute where we're really high and started. You know the the tv really helped me think to keep my price in the clubs up. You know we we. We were making good money. We were one of the higher tier of price. Pricewise we were one of the higher tier is amazing. That pick axe. That i came up with aren't really doing anything any more than half of them. More than half of my wouldn't you. Yeah i would say that's true. Not only is road comedy and making a living as a road comic more challenging. If you didn't get a shot at the tv shows and some of the contracts that you saw in fact we'll be talking about it in a little bit. You ended up with your own theater in vegas. So you had a different path that afforded you some success but you and i both know people will you mentioned. We'll i think one of the funniest smartest guys out there. And just any had some breaks here and there but never got that big fame and fortune. And there's a number of people that we have worked with that Were really truly funny. Getting jackson was oh yeah they would kill an and they just didn't quite make they did some tv but they didn't get a lotta tv. That was looking back. That i could do six minutes. I had a lot of six minutes six. I could do. A comic strip live on fox was released those and and So that kinda help me. Because the fact that i was able to do to write except just for tv six minute chunks. A lot of people don't realize how important for tv being short and funny. You know you don't have time to like a lot of comics. need time to get. The audience warmed up or get him to understanding where they're coming from. And we've already alluded to this a few times. You were so high energy. Plus you had the experience annual funny and there was some magic everywhere. I mean there. Were they work or any age group. It worked rainy male or female. I really was a consistent type of humor where it wasn't political. It was just like birds would laugh at that show. You know it was. It was so stupid and so ridiculous that it really touched on people's you know sensors and i got to travel around the world and i figured if the comedy was going to drop out in the united states i would be ready and i went to australia and became famous. I had a tv show. I went to germany. I went all around the world with that show and and and when comedy started dying out here. I was still working in australia. And doing doing touring on the road and other countries. You know it's interesting because not only you a talented entertainer but it sounds like you had a knack for the business side in both of us know some really funny people that didn't have the same Understanding a knack for marketing and business. But you obviously had a plan and took it to different places to as kind of a backup to to keep yourself working. Yeah wasn't so much that i look back at. It wasn't really a planet. I just look my way through. The whole thing's got lucky. Was dumb luck but i mean it makes sense to me. When everybody was lowering their prices to raise mine it was like reverse psychology. And i use that tactic to get into vegas to my tickets from vegas. We're hundred dollars a ticket and the only ones charge that much with circus soleil and all the big act so i figured you know i wanted to be in that price group so i you know i. I lost part of my audience but gained another part. You know people would agree psychology kind of a deal for me. you know. well. I i think that Locker plan you had great path. Now we've jumped ahead a little bit. I wanted to bring you back to working in my clubs. Do you have any memories of working. It lacks remember. Who's the guy from england that used to always host short. Yeah andy what was his. Last name Well i would be able to think of it. If i hadn't just been asked. Andy andy was a opening act. Mc for me. That when i was not around or a a club that i wasn't managing he would be the house. Mc did you. And andy do a lot of work together. yeah we. We worked at the club lot. He was always there when i was there. You made the point to book when i was there and we got we got along good. And he you know he we we going back to the condo and having fun and your your your party club man apple cup party for me. But i mean that was that was one of the highlights of your tour when you did the punch line in atlanta and your club in sacramento and Those were my favorite clubs. Oh well thanks for saying that. We always tried to make sure it was not only respectful of the talented entertain. The best we could By the way. It was andy roberts and amer he's doing today. Yeah i think he's in jail now. I don't know. But andy. Roberts was one of our house. Mc's he was Very british and did our tv show and was around for many years. I'm glad that you have good memories of working with him and also boat. Yeah we used to take the comics out. Sometimes we did Go up and hit a couple of bars. We'd take him skiing That's funny that you remember that because not everybody had that experience but you know you were special married to the same. Same woman yeah. I ended up marrying well. Actually i don't know which woman you mean. I was married briefly in the early days of the club but that marriage was eighteen months of marriage in eighteen years of payments. And then i ended up marrying my best friend and co worker. Jill who is yeah. We've been together over thirty something years now so i don't know which one that would have been. It was jill. I'm sure and we had a lot of fun with you. And the other comics doing things not only trying to present a great show for our audiences but having some life and fun and entertainment away from the stage. I'm glad that you have memories of that. It was It was always fun having you there on the audiences loved your shows. I love that that room. That was great room and you know they have the energy always great. I said i did a tv show from their. No i i had a tv. Show that andy. Roberts appeared on. I think you missed it. You probably were too expensive for me but you have some great video view using the club camera and what you might remember was in the firehouse alley room. We had that really low ceiling and the audience right up on the stage so there was always great warmth and energy from both the comic and audience. I remember the door. To come out with your. It was wasn't it. Yes yeah yeah and it worked really well and then you would bring people up on stage and and just go to town. It was so much fun. Now you were doing roadwork you. You mentioned australia. How did you end up in las vegas. Well i got married to an australian girl and It lasted about six years. And then we went through a real bad divorce. And and after that i wasn't in the mood to be funny anymore i went to a real bad depression and and and and I wanted to stop doing comedy. So i quit doing comedy and just hung out in marina del rey where my house was and then i started dabbling into getting really bad doing coke and drugs and stuff and i just don downward spiral after the divorce and and and and sorry. That's okay never had a friend of mine. Got me into boxing. He taught me how to box. And then i started boxing. Every day i go down down drive down the beach to his boxing gym and what we would buy connect. That's the probably saved my life. It got me got me in good shape. Stop doing the coke and started boxing every morning. Got me in a good frame of mind and whenever you stop doing that kind of stuff always good stuff will happen. you know. that's what they say and they did it as soon as i. I got my shit together I got an offer to go to vegas for two weeks. And i didn't want to. I wouldn't even want a tour anymore. That was the whole idea of networking. I was tired of touring. This was a steady gig in one room. I could sit for two weeks. Fill in for david brenner. Who is taking a summer vacation. Wanted me to fill in forms so we did killer business and we golden dog it Which was downtown strip. It was downtown. Which didn't have accent anymore. Didn't they didn't have entertainment down there anymore. So this was a new deal coming. David brenner opened this room and tried to make a goal but there and and we we sell out every night so they created a time slot from ethical nugget and we were so loud almost every night for two years. Five hundred tonight and everybody started coming downtown again. That was that brought downtown back alive and now that had to be around two thousand two thousand one. Yeah yeah and Because i was bringing so much business into the casino. They offered me three million dollars a year. But kind br great contract to stay there so i signed a two year deal and with that. They're not good for two years. Then the flamingo came along. And maybe a better offer. I went to mingo which is on the strip. And then i then i i i was the gladys knight was also headlining in the room. With what the same room. I was in pendulum and i had this thing where we would send each other the most offensive things that we could have. Nobody was a amendment. Meant to see these things separately and then you know and he sent me A poster And it was really racist. And i don't know why he sent a three but he it was and i did think it was funny at first gladys nightside and then she went to the president and got required agonise flamingo. Actually i deserved to. But but The riviera snapped me up after that so everything was fine. I ended up staying here for thirteen years. I worked for thirteen years here. Wow well one year in vegas is a is a career. Thirteen years is amazing. And i know that you were voted. Best comedian in vegas. Your show for many years was listed in the top. Ten acts in nevada. You had a lot of success in vegas great. I mean i mean the money was ridiculous. I didn't even cash my checks. I lived off my merchandise money. And put my checks from the casino in the bank every year or every week and i ended up saving a ton of money. Which is what i needed to do. Because when the recession hit after ten years vegas everybody lost their shows. Everybody went to hack capacity and it was really rough and for the last three years. I just barely hung on but And then i got sick. I had to leave vegas completely. I got i got I had heart problems. Had checked out. And i was told that i had cardiomyopathy which is a heart disease And i heard about that and so sorry bit You know the the fact that you were able to build up some cash and kind of have a something again You had without maybe planning it. You had a business mentality and you were able to create something from all those years of work in vegas so that you had that nest egg to get you through the tough years. Yeah kaku save money man. My dad really instilled that in me. And and and i mean i would making millions of dollars and i kept it all. Allow him to bank. So i got two houses. I got vegas away at twenty five cars classic cars at all out. I was living the life as i had a. I had a lot of my money. I really had a blast. you know. that's that's what it's there for. You don't enjoy it. It just goes to waste. Yeah so now. I got twenty five cars. They can't drive anymore because of my condition. How i'm selling off. I'm telling my classic cars. Oh jeez well. That's gotta be a little heartbreaking. Well yeah the thing is that that was given by the doctor. I was given a year and a half to two years to actually told me. Oh wow that's draft. Yeah so. I sold a lot of my stuff in and get i got prepared. You know my was my wife. Got everything in order for my wife and kid and i sat around waiting to happen a year and a half went by two years. Went by Was what what year was the doctor's prognosis seven years ago. Well so much for that. Yeah so i found out. I found a doctor who had who wanted to try stem cell therapy on me. So i did some stem cell therapy to counteract the effects that you know my circulation was having on my feet. my hand. everything was was affected by this condition. I couldn't i couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without died. you know. And and and Several several. I'm i lived the doctors and hostile essentially for two years and and But i got better. You know i i with my doctor. Justice medication. I did the stem cell thing and and seven years later after the fact i'm still hearing i feel pretty damn good. You know awesome. Well that's great news. We jumped around a little bit. And i'm i'm sorry to hear about your Affliction at the same time so happy that seven years ago. Combine your feeling even better but let's Catch the audience up on a couple of your success stories. So back in nineteen ninety-one. There was a short time. You were hosting a show called ruckus. Was that in the us. Australia in the us That was i. Didn't i gig in atlantic city for griffin He had he. He owned a big casino in atlantic city resorts international. Right and i. I replaced rip retailer. Who was in a show there. And that replace taylor in a show and did really really well did great business for them. And when i was finished move We're called me at home and said you wanna do a game my my new game show host my new game show and you know he has done jeopardy and wheel shows right. He was a game. Show guy you know so. I didn't see myself hosting a game show but he told me that he would create the show around. I show so that was comfortable and is host and let me hire my own writers. And then so. I did you know i my own writers and and and we wrote sixty five episodes of this show. We personally what the pilot episode and that was picked up by nbc. And we they contract we do sixty five episodes of this game show from griffin while we him off sixty five upsides. And then that's when. I was telling you my my agency. Spotlight went bankrupt and they were holding most of the cash from those game shows. Oh jeez so. Let's hold about three hundred grand. What an honor to have not only be able to work with merv griffin but to have him to go out of his way in basically create a game. Show around your. He was great energy. He he never missed a taping. He was at every show that we taped and we became really good friends really close and he was great. I mean he he. I didn't end up making a lot of money because that was rebuffed but agency. I think after after six or seven years i got. They settled up a bankruptcy case. I got two pennies to the dollar ridiculous so anyway but it really put me on the map as far as being seeing every being seen on. Tv at eight o'clock every night. Right right really really strong. It's like you're you're right. It's prime time in. It's on a major network. But i mean you did have the twenty four times on the fox's comic strip live you have several letterman. Yeah tv was tv. Yeah i got. I got banned from letterman. The first time. I did letterman. You're kidding now. I made a back with a disc jockey that i wouldn't flip them off at some point during during my letterman set. And so i- scratch my nose with my middle finger when was talking to me And producer cottage and thought. I was doing it to him. Oh no yeah. He thought i was doing it to him. Because you know he cut my time back a couple of minutes and he thought i was mad in that i was flipping him off and so he banned me. I saw what you did. You'll have been and if you look at the tape you can. I i was doing and it was real obvious letterman again. I didn't do it again till like ten years later. He saw one of my comedy. Central special dave letterman saw personally called my agency to get back on the show so when i did it again. I didn't know if you've ever meet from ten years earlier. But when i walked out you can see me laughing when we look over him and the reason i'm laughing because he got up from his desk flipped me off that's hilarious. That's a great story will. You've got some great experiences and got to work with some amazing people. In fact i didn't you also do a weird. Yeah alya convict special. Yeah i did. I did weird out show. I did lash. Oh man and everybody in my. I've been really lucky. Because when i played vegas and the word of mouth got out about the show vegas and everybody all you know. A lot of famous people came to see the show. Like george carlin was regular. He came he came to see the show all the time and he was my biggest fan. And and all these people. You know. Kevin kevin costner and all these stars would show up and then hang out with you and it was really cool. It was a great life. Yeah i mean killing had a good time to get that kind of status in vegas. I mean people Don't really understand. It really flies back in the days of like sinatra and dean martin if you were in the entertainers group people would come from all over the world to vegas just to interact with the stars onstage in vegas and tight knit community as well. I mean i've asked at play here like haircut radio show and the talent of a regular show and we you know we all hang out we have dared together and after the show we meet here and and it's really a tight knit community and everybody is making millions of dollars so we we we extravagant as we want break interview with george wallace who He was a group. Yeah he spent over ten years with his own show there at the flamingo and so he was expressing the same thing that the community and the entertainers the vegas to the patrons the tourists. They're kind of the stars but the people that live there. It's a job and you wanna make the best of it. In interacting as a group helps that get by day. Today i mean what a great opportunity to meet people and work with some of the best in the business. Hey easiest gig i've ever had. I would take the elevator down the showroom for my sweet i- elevator private elevator. Take it down to the showroom. I would do an hour and a half come back. The elevator was done for the night. That was it that was commute. Tough life jonathan you. You really worked hard there didn't ya. Then everything's free. I mean you can sign for any meals. I mean we had ten people at dinner. We decide your name on the checker. Thank you know and and it was great. It was great. I mean. I'm glad i ended up. That is my ending to my whole career. You know and because now it seems like it was great all the way from beginning to end. It was great it really. It really was yeah. I didn't have to go through any like losing gigs. And not being you know. We'll touch real quick on your success australia. Because that's of interest comedy has. It doesn't have the the the great presence at hasn't the us but there's been a few entertainers. That really. did well in australia. And i know that you had a lot of success there we doing. Tv or stage shows. Why did tv. I mean when you can become starring australia from doing one. tv show. I mean it's that's small the country. I mean they have like a show. That's hey hey it's saturday. It's called as equivalent to saturday night. Live and if you do it you're guaranteed to have sold last season because it's just people they make people stars releasing the next day. I was walking around. People are recognizing me. I was like i have my own. Tv show per year one shot. You know so it was. It was a really nice place. They like americans they don't hate americans there The money's good and it was just there the temperament of the people in the country. It was perfect and and so i would go back every year and then finally i met a australian girl on marry her and i lived there for you. Know for five years so It was great. It was really good. How now how did you like. You said the crowds were good and receptive so you enjoyed living there in working there What brought to you. Was it the divorce that brought back to the us or show business. Now i wish show business but He had a divorce. I i was. There is a citizen. When i was married i had i do citizenship in my medical expenses were free. You know if you live there you pre medical leave make house calls you know. And and so i lost that when i got divorced and just termi at turned me off for awhile. Anyone with that accent. I wanted to shoot with a bit of an overreaction but i can get the emotional aspect they made. They made a couple of documentaries about me. This year I don't know if you've seen him on that but there's one of them went to One of the documentaries made on me went to Sundance film festival and And all of a sudden it's really released in movie theaters all around all around the world so that got me huge recognition the fact that they made a documentary on me. It's the same guy that did he is got to oscars for documentaries. He did man on a wire. I don't know if you've ever seen man wire. Yeah he's dated did so searching for sugarman and he did a document- around me and that came out and now on hulu who bought it for a million dollars and now it's airing it right. I mean that shows you basically what we've been talking about it in a nutshell right right. Now you're alluding to. I think it came out originally in two thousand nineteen. It's called the life and death and return of amazing jonathan. It's almost a christ like thing. You were documenting how you had your success and then went through the medical aspect of your life and you expect me to die. you know. that's why they wanted to document documentary because they have this dramatic ending and it never happened. That's crazy come up with another surprise ending with even surprised me 'cause this documentary and it ended up catching been was at movie theaters. I couldn't believe that. I mean that was like an la. It was all over. hong kong. London was playing regular cinemas. So i got to go to the theater and just sit there and watch my life story and i was like fuck. This is this is cool man. Who's this guy right. That would be such a surreal thing to yourself. Another guy made another one to burn. Burn the comic i. I've heard of them. I don't know him personally. He made he made one to until they were competing documentaries. That were out at the same time. Like fire festival one and it was They were both fighting for for you. Know airplane and co. I think it's amazing. And that's why you're amazing jonathan. You've had such an incredible life. You've had it started from the streets of san francisco and took you all the to where documentaries are being produced in shown in movie theaters about you. There's no better way to capture late. You in your entertainment life Then your name amazing. Jonathan thank you so much for for being a part of the podcast. This is my pleasure to talk to you. Give finally since we've got. Yeah it has been. Everybody moves in different directions and you've had some great Offshoots on your road to success. The australia man right. We're time i take. I would be perfectly happy a yeah. Well let's pray. That doesn't happen but it is nice that you have something to look back on and be proud of and you did. You did some amazing things in an amazing keeps coming up. I wonder why. But hey ladies and gentlemen. I have a great short set of jonathan share right after this interview pay. Thanks john for for being a part of the show and doing this interview today and we will hold good thoughts for your health. It's let's go another seven years and beat the doctors odds and ladies and gentlemen back and enjoy some great. Stand up comedy by amazing jonathan. Hey thank you sir. All right buddy later. He's on comedy tonight this week sometime. And he recently appeared on david letterman. We'll not on him. But on a show i don't know maybe he did appear on him. I don't know. I didn't talk about it but this guy is crazy. Let's please welcome. The madman of comedy de mr amazing johnathan then stop ner host brother saved ladies and gentlemen and ham for scott edwards plays club scott edwards son. Very funny scott. Never forget the time when you got your dick caught in the of that bic pen scott comedy at its best folks. The joke was on me. Because there's a lot of leeway left he was just kidding me. i thought it was duck. Good evening. we're going son of a bitch brand fucking node. You believe this shit. It's brand new. Look at this crap to open up with a juggling trick. Thank you we're going to do. It's kind of like a punk magic show. I guess you could say we actually try to find someone from the audience to come up to help me out with a track. This can be anyone at all from the crowd. So if you'd like to help just let me know where you're sitting at. You can come up and help anyone plays. Oh good. I think way found someone not usually the type at one up here but you'll do fine. You've never seen the show before you'll never see me in the past. No okay great. This is great. Okay see me in the past Your name is a dog dog. I'm jonathan and let's start by doing the dollar bill trek. Let me have a dollar. This is fun okay. That's great now. Trojans high that's gonna come in real handy and i suppose that means that you don't wear a diaphragm. I right am i right you can. I have on her scott. Please stand up. You don't wear a diaphragm map. Okay this as long as we got that settled. Hi scott is it. what the duck. Yeah okay let's that dollar. This is fun one two three. You know. I do that every day. And i still don't get tired of it our we're gonna do you like okay. That's what we do. We do one that i liked. Then we switch off into one that you like and they'll go back and one that i like and that's called the jewelry trek. Okay now now for the one. You're going to like okay. This is paul. The linking rings handkerchief. Go like this because you got something hanging. it's really bucking the shit outta me. I thought it would fall off but it's just getting longer and longer and then it stopped and it's just swing there's a wipe it off okay. Because i can't concentrate on their shit with that all right here. We go duck duck. We the one i like. Now we're going to do the on your back. The candyman. okay doc. This is called the mystery of the linking rings or rabbi matic if doug steps little closer to that ring slices hid isis perfect ulan. Prize dot com. All right watch this. They go up they come down on. The rings are linked together. Which is not bad for a guy on escalate hotdog. Tried to pull those apart to show the audience that not. Everybody can do magic. Give me those fucking like your fucking attitude. One bit now. doug shut off. What does this. Because i'm from san francisco. You got to do that as the forest. Bill dog okay. Well it's not gonna work have dollar. This is fun. Give me a dollar will use one of my own. That's only fair. I just like. I have one all right sir. Would you look for me please. To make sure it's not a trick. Dollar switched it but it's an ordinary go ahead. It's an ordinary dollar. I pulled away a joke. Take you got ta again then i. I'm sorry i won't go ahead. i need you examine. It was cheap. Three oh come on. Come on chicken shit. I got a guy five times last night. Was the mongoloid wheelchair dog. It was pretty sad. Okay how ladies and gentlemen. That was amazing. Jonathan live onstage back in the mid eighties. And i wanted you to hear that you could tell the energy in attitude that he brought to the stage and after listening to his interview. Hopefully it helps bringing together naive understand that listening to magic. It's not the same as watching magic. But i did want you to get a sense of how he came across to the audience. And what made him so popular. Not only in sacramento. But as many years in vegas ladies and gentlemen that was a great interview and set by amazing jonathan. A comic magician extraordinaire. Thank you for listening. Don't forget next week. Another great show will be coming your way be sure to share rate and tell your friends by. We hope you enjoyed this episode of stand up comedy your host and emcee for information on the show merchandise and our sponsors or to send comments to scott visit our website at www dot stand up your host and emcee dot com look for more episodes soon and enjoy the world of stand up comedy. Visit a comedy showroom near you.

vegas san francisco scott Jonathan jonathan david brenner Saginaw paula robin whitney brown andy harry anderson boxing Carvey robin williams Carvey Vallon tony depaul australia punchline comedy club
EP 78 - Reflections

Flash Fantasy: Rift Walkers

34:01 min | 4 d ago

EP 78 - Reflections

"After a long journey and a long night now in the lands of the maschen outside a great stone door the group made camp however come morning the door had disappeared the pathway somehow clear leading them on through a grand array of icy tunnels. Now the party sending at the threshold to this new terrain must decide next. Can the shoulders her minimal gear and says no time to waste just caparo quick. See that alz has taken it upon himself to make sure everyone is well fed for their journey and using a small magical stone which provides heat has actually heaved up warm requiest for everyone to enjoy prior to beginning need to start off strong. Could use something no complaints from me. Thank you liberals. I think that will be ready to move on then. County s actually says mc mic. Just wait a moment. This isn't normal. I should mention as not so nero had said the mass can have warded these monasteries against foreign invaders and wayward travellers. That so happen upon places such as this what. These wards are specifically. I couldn't say because they're always different. It's a test of sorts for each one group or individual that passes through so i don't know whatever we're going to meet inside this cave already. Don't like the look of it just steal yourselves. And as she notices the vestiges of her reflection amplified one hundred times throughout the cave already just by standing at its threshold. She gives a little shiver and says and don't always trust your eyes. They will then. Perhaps we should hold onto each other at least some kind of rope so that we don't get lost. Thoughts agreements arguments quite wise. Especially if we can't trust is better to trust them. Something does pull a rope and he just. We could connect on shelves at the waist or have everyone on the rope. Trevor you think is best. Probably just hey hold onto it. We need to disconnect for any reason. It's probably safer that way. Is there really need for any of this. This almost reminds me of the trauma. The vines are back in my my land. If this is a test we shall pass fail regardless of how we are attached. Well to will. It does bring your actively refused to take part in the roping together missy. Yes i i'm going to award you a point of inspiration for acting on your vice at the direct expense of the group. Can i give inspiration somebody else. I already have a point of inspiration. I'll allow you to reward your existing point to someone else. But only if the people that you're currently interacting with which i think is just mic and kelly's and layouts i'm assuming you're going gonna give you saw novell no was going to give it to the routes let outside asthma. Okay i'm gonna give it to nick will make. It could be a good idea. But i truly believe that regardless of what happens to our site if we were meant to be together or separate would happen but any moose word geez. I was going to reference a song a song that we seem together of. Don't trust in yourself. Just a mic walks off into the cave. That is overconfidence. Dang ephron is going to hop in at the end of this congo line with the rope. And he's going to buy a one handed bow line not okay if anybody was wondering both noah and affront how all right then Orlando air now coming to address those who are tying rope props you should take the lead and you should go quickly after you just stormed in there. But i'll follow behind you and front looks like you're taking up the back then mic vallon. Their oats sort yourselves out in the middle and will get going. I'll be honest doesn't really matter when we go in. What will all come out at the same time as brignone said passer pacify. We'll do it together. Such as the nature of these things and she tugs on the rope gives a rasp. And then just trudges onward then away. We go into the case. Yeah do what brignone front. What's the rest of this marching order. I think it's come aus orlando dear. Little is behind val. Val should probably go in between two. Salient beings says probably ten mic thou literal front as. You're all going through this cave. The ground is covered in snow. Your feet go down. Maybe two three inches night's crunch underneath your boots and such. And you see yourselves. Mirrored reflected thousands of times all around you in these shimmering glittering images of yourself light from outside light from the other side of the tunnel who knows bouncing reflecting an innumerable amount of times throughout this cavernous network of passageways. It's a little disorienting looking at the walls and even staring straight ahead as the cave starts to turn and bend brainier disappears from your site. But you still see him reflected and as are all navigating this passageway as it narrows and widens whether your in each other's line of sight or simply seeing some sort of reflection becomes less clear. Is the rope still taught. The rope is cow. it's not long. However before brainier is completely gone from all of your perception and as actually comes to a stop once she notices this whereas been you're gone i don't know she looks back over her shoulder and gives a quick headcount. It's a little disorienting. As there actually is a band like right behind orlando gear pretty sharp like ninety degree angle almost but she and you can still see the others clear as day in this strange mered procession. So we've lost him from our vision. Is it possible that he has gone. So far as tunnel twister turn their off-shoot is just. He's gone too far ahead of us. Theoretically continuing it appears like we'll reach him eventually. That's your hope. I'm sure but whether or not there are offshoot. Passages is almost impossible to tell even looking at the ground now. The snow has begun to drift away. As a brisk wind works its way through the tunnels and even the surface that you stand on is this pristine reflective ice. Well i suppose we should just carry on van. Honestly don't know which way he might have gone. But we just continue on strengthen as you said one way or another will find our way out. I suppose so. And kelly's gives the rope tug and then the rope just false as she seems to just disappear can roulin. Dear is he surprised but not surprised is kind of gotten somewhat used to the toying 's of the deity but as county said these are masking so they have their own tricks up their sleeves. He's gonna take just kind of a quick look around stopped come as just disappeared. He's going to take a look now to see if there's anything in particular he can see the spot where she was standing or where they are. Now that can give them a better indication of where to go or what might be happening to them as you bend down Let's do an investigation chick. That was a thirteen on my investigation. Check all right so then as you crouch down and examine the end of the rope that county us was just gripping before you push your hand into the ground and almost fall forward as there seems to be a gap or shoots of some kind you quickly are able to grip the edges of it and going forward again. Your hand is just going through though it's really difficult to tell with this confusing layout where the ground begins. And i'm not able to like find another side of this hall like i have the edge and then it just drops you feel the decline. Okay okay standing. Backup orlando turns around. Well we have found our first wonderful feature of these caves we can either follow kenya's downward or turn around and see if there's another offshoot but i don't want to really get separated again. So and he just walks forward and let's go with rope falls down as roulin dear proceeds to do exactly what he said. He didn't want to noah. Will you do an intelligent saving throw. Four thron could thing mine. Intelligence is plus one. Baby i think brin years is the same thirteen as you. Peer around after the sudden disappearance of reindeer on the ice you ephron are seeing golden lights reflected like little burning candles. It's strange at first. Seems out of place but then you recognize it. As the hall of a thousand flames into the grand vizier palace. Slowly coming into shape in the ice around you. The forms of your friends fading away into the shadows of it's great pillars and facades. I never imagined. I would find myself here again so soon and he starts walking forward. Does he hold onto the rope. He's he's forgotten about the rope though. It is tied in a very sturdy. One handed bo live around his waist. So true val. Can you do an intelligent saving. Throw for us. Surely i'm actually pretty good at those here. Go ooh I didn't roll great. But my total if i could do. Basic math is a sixteen laurel as vow. Looks around these images these people that you've been seeing on the peripheries. You can see them pretty clearly now because of this reflective nature of everything. It's your family and it's called asandra and they're just they're standing looking at you peering around corners always slightly obscured and whenever you meet is with one it darts away behind some unseen corner cool i think vowel is i mean he knows he was warned to be distrusting of his sight but i do think that he wants to speak to these images so he'll say to one provider you come here and you see the form of cut asandra poke out from behind one of these corners. Are you kind of disregarding the rope at this point is oh absolutely vow was barely painted. You the rope as it was. I will comment. Literal is paying a ton of tension. That is chad. So as i wrote disregarding the rope let us is holding tightly to the rope and that autism about to grab bells arm if fouled sites like over up is mixed holding onto the rope in front of you bet ya well then lay routes and mick you start to feel a tug behind you as a freshman starts looking at six saying something about never being here before never wandering to be here again. Let's going to try to roughly jahnke on the rope pulling ephron along with them and reach out and try to grab vow. As alex walks away from bull yourself together and then make chai's sue also sees val wandering off. Let kaisa tug at the rope to indicate to fron to come back in old require one of your full attention for each of these issues so little is more interested in foul than he is the rope so make will be more interested in getting fron back so mickle under the rope on the other side and get behind leroy. What's inbetween. Ithin an with no one between you and affreux now and lay. Roads now absorbed born vow. You feel a tug behind you but when you turn around you don't see a roads you see yourself. But the you know the taylor version of mic. And he's just like come on pull harder he's getting away all those beautiful good unto senate bedroom myself and you hear another voice in front of you and as you turn back around you see you know some other persona that you've adopted throughout the years a large feline form mic. We can't let them get too far away. Jesus is that dream last friday and then so make upon seeing this is gonna look at his toes and be like police chef together. Put yourself together mic. come on you. The great mickey and looking down you know like into the reflection. That's at your feet. There's another mic that you see and it's just like waving now i have truly lost my marbles. What the heck and so. Nick closes his eyes still holding onto the rope feeling on the rope until he gets to the end and he feels for he farrand. Who's attached to it as you feel a form. It's not enclosed that you remember having been upon a fron the open your eyes. Oh my gosh Yeah i guess. So yeah you see an elaborate. Golden ballgown and the face of lady cohen burg and she holds out a red and blue child's plaything marble. And she says you were looking for this. Oh my gosh. come on. come on. Snap out of his. Mickey as you say this you hear it echoed a hundred different times and you see a hundred different pairs of different mix like grab another mc by the shoulder and just slap that other mic across the face that's awesome. Oh my gosh okay. I still enberg also grabs your shoulder repeating your words and slapping you across the face and i feel it. Oh stings oh well. What's things even more that they slapped you with their glove. Oh not classy another hand and it was less please milady. That really and she leans in like she's telling you a secret she's like actually it's not quinn berg. It's me mickey. Oh for the love as much as. I can't deny that i'm enjoying this. I got to get out of here and mickey tricycle the other way not towards ephron but tries to go towards their oats again. It's impossible to make outlay rotates among this cacophony of mick voices and mick bodies that crowd every icy surface you see but you try nevertheless. That's a good segue to lay routes as you are grasping at val now val is what's moving toward one. These figure staying still. Yeah i think approaching not cautiously necessarily but like in direct like. I will speak with you. And we're going to suck right now kind of attitude and this image of kata sandra steps out from behind one of these icy shelves and she just point to herself and looks a little bashed as she. Oh you want to talk to me. Am i talking to her. Is this the rose's nightmare low is seeing you talk to a wall okay. Cool to the wall. That is cat asandra in vows. Mines i you dead because of me child no no. You mustn't blame yourself for anything that's happened to your family myself included you know regardless one of my own and legally you are so she gives a little chuckle i. I'm sorry i shouldn't be glib about everything but you know me i'm afraid my child. That's i can't say much for where i am. What's going on this places unfamiliar largely. I've traveled a lot and even this is something new. I you dead. What is death child. Is it so much different than life. I don't know. But i know that you are removed from me and when you eventually come to the end of things will you be removed from yourself from those that trust. You love you in a very real way. Cut asandra yes. I will be because that is a faith. I have condemned to myself to and you feel her hand. Cold to the touch as it grazes your cheek and settles upon your chin and a very motherly fashion. And she says child hot of yukon and gotten yourself into. I don't know that. Even now i fully comprehends. It's but i will become the voice of the void and knock missouri. After i die so i have committed to any unity of suffering. Perhaps she shrugs and turns around as she approaches this coroner once more and she's kinda pops her head out for behind and she says that is of course if by the time you come to the end of your mortal coil that sir. There's still a knock tear around and she flashes you a smile and then disappears around the corner. I love cut us under so much Lay roads you see vowel talking to a reflection of vow. And then you know yourself behind vow and you can see pretty clearly just a couple of feet down there's mic who is ranting and then ephron who is still just like the house of the vizier. Little it's he sees val. He's holding firm. Nfl's rest he sees val he sees mick who's also going crazy. And he sees ethan and he just he the ended up his damn frozen and he grabs. He's going to try to hook val around the waist with his arm it's kinda like guerrilla arms is gonna try to grill. Val and his gang the rope toward the thing that we're gonna land deer and kelly's fell down sires. Everyone still everyone together mic. How deftly are you holding onto this rope. I'm still pretty convicted to hold onto his rope. Okay then i will let you decide. But if that's the case then as lay wrote tosses himself around us corner down. This apparent shoot or decline with vow in his grip. And if ron at the end of the rope getting pulled onto his but you are also dragged behind with him. So if ron and your is you're about to reach like the penultimate door that will lead you to the hall of the grand. Vizier himself to where you can present your lavish gift and suddenly just starts getting kind of tunnel vision and pulled away from you as you are. Wrenched off your feet yet. Fron isn't like fighting this at all. Now he's thinking how. This is kind of weird. I don't remember vizier halls being wet and slick as he feels the ice on his bum and so he's not gonna fight it. He's not gonna he's just gonna let stuff happen brignone year as you travel throughout the caves. You feel like i said before. A brisk wind that cuts through these different passages. That seems to be the most obvious route to the outside world. once more. What path do you take then. Do you follow that wind or go of your cord. Premiers gonna fall the wind as you do and honestly doesn't take long to come to an opening in the cave and you arrive at a precipice which overlooks a large valley. The valley is however deserted. Barron darn any trees there's some jagged rock formations but it seems altogether unimportant. One thing of note however stretching across the way on the opposite side of a mountain seems to be another cave similar to the one that you just emerged from. And as you look over you see miniscule figure also standing there peering out brin your approaches the small figure i mean you you come to the edge of the precipice as far as you can. Which takes you you know. Like zero point one percent across the valley. It's large dip to okay. It's not somewhere that you can really climb down safely but this figure makes a similar move to the edge of the cliff seeing the figure move forward brin years actually going to pull out a shield in his war hammer and then smack war hammer against his shield in perfect synchronization figure that the exact same thing renews gonna take some time. He's going to put away his war hammer and shield like he's going to stop closes is and just think as you do. Put your shield and hammer a aside and close your eyes. You hear another bang echo throughout the valley and you hear a voice carried over as well. Just resonating over to you saying cow. Would that be yourself. Do you open your eyes again. At least yeah bring. Euro will open his eyes. This figure not stowed his hammer and shield. What makes me such a coward. You abandoned your people for something. You don't understand something. You're not worthy for and never thought that i was worthy. I was abandoned by my people. Because of your sins. Do you think the path you're on will lead you to summer mission. You are still awash in the blood of others. These foods that you have tricked into accepting a service they will see your true self soon and what might that be. Do know all too well. I need not answer. And it like throws down the hammer and shield and waves its hand with a heavy scoff and then trounce is back into the ice caves on the other side of this valley. The ringing of this hammer and shield still bouncing off your eardrums. Let's head to relax dear. Who comes to a stop in a pretty soft pile of snow rolls a bit and then helped to his feet by one. Captain county ace. I don't know if she's still captain but she's regardless she'll always be a captain heart. She helps you to your feet. She looks a little disheveled little worse for wear her clothes and not as ornately arranged as before her she's drawn back her hood and her veil is all but forgotten. I all right. I dropped down a bit ago. Yes i think so. It's this place is just playing tricks on my is why what did you see. I didn't see anything. I looked around and i saw lack. I saw shadow something always at the edge of my site. I can never i can never pinpoint it. And then and she just like her eyes are wide and she holds her hand above. Like shushing you even though you weren't even saying anything and she just her horizon scanning the ceiling looking back and forth. She's like what. Am i listening for and lenders. Peaking over his shoulder looking in the same line of sight that she is. And you hear this. Little clatter like knife points against stone. Wait yes i do. Here's something. I don't know what it is but it's here for us. I is this a trap laid by the mask. The mask can lay no tramps these traps late by ourselves. And it's at that point that The forms of later vow. If ron and mick come tumbling your rolling to a stop at your feet like i said i don't like getting separated so here we all are as if on cue. Uc brainier literally like just across the room. You seem to be in some sort of wider chamber. The ground once again dusted with snow. So you can get a little bit of your bearings but brin years just like staring at a wall nose to the ice so little. It's is going to really quickly notice. If mick if ron and vowel are all still kind of coup bananas or if that is largely passed since the tumble and that's entirely up to them okay. Are you all kind of crazy town. Banana pants fron stands up dusts himself off in looks down on the roping says mic. The beers the rope was a brilliant idea. Could thinking why thank you ron. I thought so myself. And if i was crazy i would see myself in the reflection wing. Get it not crazy you as you do that you see one reflection that is unlike the others and it is like it is the changeling mic. You know with this fiery red hair and these pale eyes and pale skin and it winks in return before dipping around a corner beautiful and then kind of finally having some resolution with that Kind of shakes his head. A little bit smiles to himself and returns to look at the roads. does vows still see the like floater. After image kind of like soft focusing. Are they still there. Yes but very faint. Okay i think the fall probably jostled him enough to bring him back to the present so hill look at the roads and give him a nod. Alright looks upon seeing that. Mostly everyone is fine again. He gestures for linda. All right take care of that fu get it snows. Let's keep moving. I'm going to guess it's going hit me soon. So does 'cause my eyes and relax. You're kind of just waves. His hand as he starts walking over to brigadier yes unless they're certain. This isn't something from your food. Laura's and kind of shoots a wink at you and then he continues in canada shakespeare in year on the shoulder. Well as you're approaching brin near you actually hear him say a few words. Yes i may be a monster but this monster will fight for what is right. And then in britain years head he walks back into the cave as you turn back into the cave. you'll come face to face with orlando deer and the rest of your companions getting to their feet and their senses in i larger chamber seems like you all pass your test. Yes i wouldn't say. All of us necessarily have experienced something like well. I don't really know what it is. You guys have seen or experienced but other way. We're all still here together. And pointing at cal mass. I think we may have something that could be tracking multiples because we both heard it and he can emotions for vineyard to follow him back to the group we heard something like metal clattering on the ice. We can proceed. Is there any like clear direction that they should go down here or is it just a wide open room. it's a pretty wide. Open room oval in shape almost still a bit irregular. The ground is also an even. But like i said dusted with snow. So it's not as hard to get your bearings however looking around the walls are so faceted as such that there are just thousands of slivers of surfaces each compounding on one another the looking at the wall itself just a visual mess so if there were like a hallway or an entrance or something it'd be very hard to get out it'd be very hard to pick out yes now then again kind of pointing more towards the center of this larger space. Well then i suggest we move more into the center of this space so that we have more maneuverability should it be needed and he starts walking through the snow towards the center of this chasm space. Little's thinks is actually really good ideas. he's gonna follow. Dow will follow as well possibly take hot sector. Try to put on some armor. They hasn't had until this point. Now you can take some time to on your county has however is unmoving and she is crouched down almost to both of her hands up to her face just like tapping at an invisible something in front of her and she is constantly looking back and forth darting every which way she's like don't you don't you see it's right there now damn it there. And everyone hears this clattering again like the points of knives against glass and you do start to see a form crawling on all fours across the ceiling. And this figure this thing it's a hunched form. It seems to be wearing tatters of clothing where it's fingers should be our long knives grafted out of its skin. It's back in arms or covered and metal spines that similarly protrude from modeled flesh. It's faces completely hidden under a dark hood. It's other tatters of clothing falling beside it and as it crawls across the walls and the ceiling and uneven patterns. You're unable to tell if there is one. Or two dozen of these things as this and knifings sound echoes and reverberates. More and more. And more until it comes to this crescendo of noise. And you hear the briefest cackle as it then darts away and has gone kill miss you mentioned we create our own traps which one of you brought this year. I'm curious perhaps it was uberlandia. Orlando just kinda look said vow. Perhaps i doubt it. I've never seen this before my life. And you hear echoing throughout this chamber all of you from like this. Aft left him and county. Ace your looking between vow and relaxing. Dear says i'm sorry but what was that again. This wasn't yours okay. Perfect right and she draws two very short daggers from the folds of her clothes and prepares herself for a fight orlando draws a sword if from using his left hand reaches around and takes imon out of the sheath on his back. Nick arms himself with rapier. Let's only had time to equipped half of his armor. So he's going to be a not half heasley equipped at the equivalent of half plate. So he's not fully armored but he pulls out ready for the fight. He's got the breastplate on but his his his legs are just. Mike's chilly in the breeze. Bruyneel takes his acts off his shoulder. And it's both his hands and then at the end of the chamber not too far from you. This figure drops onto the ground. It's knifed hands and feet cracking into the ice with a ear shattering splitting sound and it cocks. Its head and you see. Just the ends of forked tongue flick. Out from the darkness of its hood and it just goes and then grinds its knives together and charges.

brignone orlando mc mic ephron mick Dang ephron mic vallon roulin kelly grand vizier palace asandra jahnke kaisa mickle Val Golden ballgown cohen burg enberg ron
Patton Oswalt and Meredith Salenger

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

1:40:42 hr | 3 months ago

Patton Oswalt and Meredith Salenger

"You made it weird with the need homes. What's happening weirdos. It's patent oswald returns for the third time to you. Made it weird and this time. He brought the delightful and talented and funny meredith sounder. They are now hosting their own podcast. Which is called. did you get my text. Which is hilarious and fun and funny as is this conversation. I'm so glad you guys are here to check it out and definitely check out. Did you get my text as well. This episode we only have one. Pete's pick which i'm excited because it's a great one. It's our friends at ned. Anco if you guys like this show and you want to. Show your support of as i like to say. There's always free podcasts. By some that inco that would definitely help us out and it helps me out. I am a huge believer. A huge lover of cbd and then co makes a some of the best quality great absolute tasting clean perfectly grown cbd in the world. They have third party lab reports on who farms their him. They are very close watchers of their cold extraction process even where it's formed. They don't get it at some farm. That's growing five hundred acres of gmo cotton and a little patch of hemp. They have hemp specific farmers who are all about the plant who play music to the plant who have worm beds and feeding the soil of the things. That soil is usually lacking to get an incredibly beneficial clan ally. Which is what hemp is for those of you. That don't know what it's not like marijuana. It doesn't get you stone. I like to say it's my happy juice. It's very subtle. it's almost up. Perceptual just puts like a happy easy smile just behind your face. I know that doesn't really make sense. But that's how i feel when i take it. I can just feel myself be a little bit quicker to laugh quicker to focus quicker to ease into and yield into whatever project. I'm sitting down to do so. It's not like weed in that it doesn't take you out of the game. You can work on it. You can focus on it. You can read on it. You can carry a conversation on it. I'm not good with weed i love. Cbd i take it often in the morning. When i'm sitting down to work. Because like i said it just helps me surrender into the process. I have less anxiety what i could be doing. His focus and locking on what i am doing and i take it at night when i'm trying to wind down and relax and believe it or not. It helps both of those. It helps me lock into work and it helps me unwind at the end of the day. And that's why. I call it my miracle. Plant ally and in company makes such a clean. Cbd they don't even flavor it it's just mixed with a little bit of mcat oil and you can taste how clean the product is when you drop it into your mouth. It is super super clean. And like i said it either makes you feel chilled or it helps you merge into your work i find it to be mood elevating stress reducing and like. I said. it doesn't get you high. It's just a wonderful plant ally. I also loved their magnesium super super blend called mellow. But what. I'm really focusing on here. Is there. cbd so if you want to try that i highly recommend it and it would show your support of this show when we really appreciate that so go to hello dot com slash weird or enter weird at checkout for fifteen percent off your first one time purchase and twenty percent off your first subscription order that. Hello ned dot com slash weird or enter weird at checkout for fifteen percent off your first one time purchase and twenty percent off your first subscription order. trust me you're gonna want to subscribe. I do i love it. I swear by it and i hope you like it as much as i do and show your support of this show. That's it guys. I really hope you enjoy meredith and patent. I sure did and be sure to check out. Did you get my text also available wherever you found this podcast. Get into it. Nice to hear it. Let me know what i should be doing. I only way because it's not like to check quality. It's like to pretend you're on the radio. I remember the sweaty balls or frazier. Wait i remember on frazier that the audio quality really good in the students. Because it's through a good mike with yes. Sometimes it's nice to hear a voice. Oh i sound so you'd be enjoying that right. I see okay. I like you here yet. Under your yes. And how many episodes have you done from your elliptical. Maybe oh my god. I want this elliptical. No that's why have one and it's a great place to dry shirts you do. I bought it for me. But i tried to get out as much as i can of him walking. But then there's days when i do use elliptical you. Buy your life now. I know tom thing it's not like here. You go hunting. Now get on this peleton now. Now i bought it when we first moved into the house and i because i had been we had just gotten married and i was on like we were both trying to be good I met him at like my fattest which clearly means he loves me for me. She likes me for me not loves me for me. It's like likes but also we had the wedding was coming up and she is like i. Am you know. I was just like you asked me a mary. Only getting two months married two months later. I was like that motherfucker on your what you just did. Jesse thorn's podcast. Which i guess and i said that ford and then he and i was any went vulture. Something no it's bullseye and i guess it plays on. Npr and so he doesn't want cursing well. You can believe we'll bleep just for you but for you. What if we. What if you and i only because manny eighteen. Hundreds like shouldn't be cursing. No women's take on the salem witch trials. You think it was real little you like. This counts your co. You're a big appreciate. I am i. You are driving your. She rolled her window down. Tell woman she loved her hair. Well before i i already know. I thought our job as you were walking in with. Stop coveting. I know that was completely joke. Obviously but you did keep it. I appreciate things and now. I see that you're an admire. I also have a very. I like making people happy hunting. That's gonna fall. Put that in front of you all right. No not on the couch. And i'll just hold it. This is interesting. Glimpse nice little. Getting your like your lovely. You appreciate thank god damn hunting. Put your bag. Actually though you're putting on airs like we have a new podcast we talk. We're five and you're like. I'm going to be rough with a taste in your no. That's not a bad. It's always staying married for the podcast at this point. Well can i say. I'm so stoked that you're doing it vallon. I have done forty some the friday edition. But you're not married. I entered to her. No no. I was just pointing to check the number. Sorry you're student any appreciate. I like you a lot. Sharp sharp very sharp. I like sharp. Sharp often abrasive a little aggressive but very kind and nice meaning. Sometimes i are you this way if i just get off stage and i'm feeling filled i'll love and grow. I'll spar off and then tuesday at noon. I'm like and you're a lot leave me alone. I it depends with me. It is it is directly correlated to how much sleep i have had. If i have hot night sleep i am so vulnerable and fragile but if i slept and had some food and some and some caffeine okay this is everything and it is so it's like there's no id. I'm all it. you could see. He's not up to full power. He's kind of his cup of tea in his bully yogurt. You don't seem like i know what i mean like. I don't have a lot of subtle facial displays it's like you can in. She said like oh here. You're not happy. You can tell like when i'm i can't fake as radiates off me like he's not happy with us. I did when you got with him. Especially when you started living together. My wife adele. Who does the friday edition. That was the end of that complement. We do a friday edition of the show and we love it. It's how we get to spend quality time together because there is something about recording it that elevates it like one hang. He's like thirty. Hangs if you record going to date. That's a wedding my friend bob from you. Take a girl do a wedding. It's like five days. Yeah wow packed in exactly. Yeah in a lot of emotion that date loaded. it's a loaded one but to put it to you. Sorry i i'm pointing on a podcast is really stupid. If you could comment that. When i with val she noticed that i almost only am trying to control my mood on on the friday edition that you're trying to say. Is that your experience with one of the go ahead. Well my experiences. I tried to control his mood. Do you try to control your now. I don't think you know. I don't interesting to my detriment. Feel like it's our job to be in a certain mood. Eight o'clock on thursday right so that began a lifelong passion of going. Okay had a good show. And i had a can of coke twenty minutes before the show so i'll have a chemical and then it becomes this like i'm not ocd and let's not say everything but it's definitely compulsive and then that just started bleeding into my life. I was like i get this much sleep when i have this food and exercise if i watch a funny movie if i miss that didn't bleed into your regular piton well with me say that you just described in a certain mood at eight pm on thursday so mood wise. It was the equivalent of having a job where i have to wear. Tuxedo entails for the job. And then when i'm off the job i wanna be in boxers and bare feet and t shirt so mood wise if i'm not on stage and not be controlled i really want to. I need to be able to let it out. That's great. I love that but you. What have you noticed. Yes well he's only you just me always. That's the way it is in our hands myself a note. Just you go me. Well what i've noticed. Well we did a podcast the other day and and we were very much bickering. We're very much at each other's throats. We it was a really it was. We were not liking each other. What was the flavor of the book. I don't remember tom papa. I don't even remember what it was about. All i can say is he's he often is like a little bit of a petulant child and so i'm like sorry babies when i'm not in the mood. That's exactly how i am. Yeah and so we were about to go do the podcast. We were about to sit down. And i was like this babe that oh i know what the problem was. I'll tell you one second. Anyway we set. He was like. I'm not going to do this and i was like get it together. We're batch reform. We have one hour suck it up and so we sat down and as soon as we started rolling. I started laughing stereo. I just want everybody to know. We literally just got in a huge fight. We're still fighting. But we're going to do this podcast. Because we're professional. I mean we rolled out of the really ugly fight into. Hey thanks for tuning into the back at the beginning. We acknowledged the truth of this and had fun with it and then we were in a and then whatever you're doing that's what a up does to whatever you're right use it. It was to you know meredith. Use it as soon as it was over. We went right back into the right back into fighting. What was the fight. The fight was this. I don't understand why fighting. I'm not a fighter wi fi this because this because this you'll see here that we have this little bored you close the door katie. Hearing my dog bark makes fight with my dog does. That dog is very cute very cute. He's very loud. I didn't know i was not a dog person. Until after here we go. Okay so so pat and i are doing this podcast and we have to record it with equipment as you know and there was like this board. There's a board that you plug your mic in your headphones and you got the whole thing and you have to record and there's like a it was all new equipment and patton was having some trouble with the equipment and we didn't have someone with us helping us and so i was like let's call the guy to have him help us and so i face time the guy and patent is like takes the phone and is holding the phone facetime to his face and like. I don't know where this is. And i'm like babe. Turn the camera around. Show him the computer. I've got this. I've got this and he wouldn't like i'm telling you it'll be much better. Let me hold it all film you and your hands and the computer so that guy could go. Hey pat and click the upper right patent. Click the down left but he was like his nose. It's like in show business but it was not. It wasn't helpful. And i was like i'm trying to help. I've got it got it. That's what the fight was about. Everything she just said is bullshit. It was tom. Papas job so it did. It did have the energy of like morning. News anchors going and five four stupid idiot. You're lucky to have this guy. Hey sarasota good morning like we literally switched into that but yes she's right. We didn't win and by the way we just had the fight about. Why don't excellent and he's like okay but then that's over. Well then afterward. I was like can i just i after the thing i was like. Can you just please what just happened. I thought my phone made a noise. I heard series. So maybe i said some. Maybe i said something that sounded like hey siri. Y'all got your. Hey siri on. What kind of lives are we. I don't know. I mean. I don't know how to turn it off. I've never asked siri anything. You only set of hang on women. Have you ever set it up. did you ever say. Hey hey siri. He would have had to set it up. No oh god that means your phone is always you on. Oh siri never mind. This must be unfair patent because people assume because you're how culture here you go let me just for you six creams and there is you to fix it. I'm gonna leave this. I was pushing the volume down two pushes away. We'll to it after the see you. Oh my god okay. Well that that is my question. After the thing. Which i understand is upsetting. I was trying you say that was not helpful. Yeah what do you say that keeps the fight going. Because i feel like you just go. I know i was just embarrassed. He just frustrated i. How do you dug in and double down later. I wanted to see my face. Something about you know what was i. Say don't fucking it was some petula thing and then and then with me like two hours later having to go okay. Sorry for the first thing. I'm sorry for the second. I apologize for to the problem with. The two of us is every time. I ever say anything and this is just a fact. I'm always right. don't do that. it's true. And i'm always right. And i always come up with these fabulous ideas and i say something and then like three months later. He's like you know what we should do that idea that you said things. I feel like because we're on a couch. We're to be therapy style. You said two things that sound exhausting one to believe that you always have to be right. I don't always have to be right. I just happened to be and then now you have to live up well but i. I've been wrong a few times. I thought chevy chase had blue eyes. He has brown eyes. Did you know that interesting. Example of one of the times. I was way to be wrong. That was one of the other ones that leonard. The members have leonard. Skinner died in a plane. Crash did not know that. Learned that in real time on the podcast. I didn't know that. And i like leonard skinny. I don't i couldn't name wait sweet home. Alabama which pete holmes. That was what the discussion was about. Because it's a thing at the end of sweet home. We've talked about this end of sweet home alabama and i. I'm so makes me so angry because near the end ronnie van zandt clearly says in the background. He goes math fucking donuts. Goddamn because the legend is he always had a box of crispy cream donuts in the studio and while he was doing that thing. They held up the empty box of doughnuts. Do and then he'd still fucking donors goddamn and then people on wikipedia and other sources have said they say it's montgomery's got the answer clearly it does it literally my fucking exactly in the coming here audio for fucking because because he say my fucking donuts dan they do edit out the fucking well. They just dropped you out here for a second. But they were like you're saying it's the early seventies radio. Yeah yeah. I wanted to be played on the radio because yeah it's a great song. Yeah and and yet you make a dead man comes still comes through the years. Yeah my dentist. But as he loves her hearing him say my god damn just the fucking dropped out so that seems confirmation that the is that people like no. He says montgomery's got the no he's not understand so anyway the other thing. That sounds exhausting. Is when i said you're an appreciator you said. I like to make people happy so thinking you can control. How other people feel must be exhausting. No i don't think i control. I don't think i can control how they feel. I just like to spread kindness through the day. So for example. If you're walking down the street and you see someone pushing a baby in a little cart or they have a dog. You're like oh. My god cute dog like if i thought i'm going to tell the other person even if it's a stranger understand who's still it predicated on the belief that you're making better which i'm guilty of two people please. Those are so cute. where did you get. Where are you on the salem witch. It real said children were bending backwards. Almost like exorcist. I think it was mass hysteria. Because from what i read about the puritans is they. There was no room for any fun. You worked all week and all day sunday so when you do that to people when there's no release they start looking for and this for a weird. Oh my god. This is interesting and fun. There's now there's trials people think the desert's in the devils up in the air and they just were so bored ordered and tightly wrapped that when you can't do that to people they lose their mind. What if back then. Those people in charge. Who did the salem with the people in charge were kind of like the trump administration a little bit and then the liberals were like. Oh that woman is. That woman is challenging us and fox. She's right let. Let's porn travel being a witch. And it's like if you drown your weight if you don't drown in england right. That one cannot say whatever they didn't dunk women were in. I can't believe you knew that. You very too much bernie. Mainly hung my point. Is they put women who might talk back on. They were often single older landowning women that they were jealousy from younger. The younger women the wives that literally. You had no time to yourself. You were stuck in the house all day with the kids. The husband came home. You served him so there was envy to. This woman can live in the woods by yourself now. Actually it's time to think and then it just led to that and also when you pack people in like that and you try to control their every waking moment people need the jungle needs time to just grow. That's what kids are going so crazy. 'cause they're so over scheduled. Let your kids out the window for a couple of hours on completely daydream. I'm super proud. Worrying low watches a show called bluey that i love very much and the kids on that show the sensitive their dogs but they look out the window in the car and she looks out the window and the car and i was like this is great. This is like a good example of how sometimes. Tv can help her watch less tv. We don't know you're now. We don't know she's two and a half. I think we. I think it was god. I think it was the other theories the rot in me the rotten the grain because it causes. Because if you look at the accounts very trippy married have you done hallucination. loosening yes yes. Yes madly in love with the cutest little inchworm in the forest. He was my best friend for like mushrooms. Mushrooms good job. Good job and i watched a fun game show and i wanna say lose nation. I'll say what drug here's one. I was watching. An entire village burned down. It was a cigarette. And i was just looking. I was just holding it watching the end of the cigarette and it looks like little trees. Just like with. But i was like. Oh my god. It's like a little village. What was that now. That was also mushrooms. That's a trick trick trick me. But the inchworm. And i love inchworm. Did he did you speak with the interim or you just looked at him. I think i was ju- i probably was. I spent a lot of time with him. And i watched. I was like hewer the i think i was talking to him and he didn't talk back to me. You were just insured. But he was so cute. I understand. And then yeah. I've watched him. I saw on a little branch. And then i was holding him and did little thing he actually they do that thing. Too little inchworm they walk forward and they suck then they get like a little upside down you and then they become a line and then a you and then it's so cute. It's a lower case and it's i tried to do a bit about how w is the w. and also use. You can't do that. do you. Know other countries say don't call x. Crisscrossing lengthy only letter with multiple syllables w. o. s. t. c. Yep you're right. U. s. t. sample hang on c. J. h. he's right. We got it. We're good. Let's move on. W i was looking for more of a. Yes and to the premise. And you just gave me an asinine fact about gosh. Remember on growing up. What was starting to sign with you side with you right question child. I gave you a premise. What was the premise. The w is the only letter. That's two letters double you. It's to us right w right. And here's gives you in australia. And england when they spell words. If there is a double letter they often say double p like for example apple a. double p. l. e. right spell vacuum. It's v. a. c. w. w right and i'm like not patent her you like. Here's a question when you went to get french food around the corner. And he any reference or thoughts or attitude. You can be honest. There's didn't even think of that. We thought of our honeymoon in paris though the interior figaro is beautiful because it really looks like nineteen twenties. I love going down. The sun comes in old leads into the restaurant. Leads into the restaurant were actively it's west facing right. Yeah it's really cool. I've had some great dinners there early and probably great photographs coming through the window. I wouldn't snap a pack. Just mental picks mental. I have my mobile mental pig. A real pick. I have to snap. Yep i have to snap a real pick. Takes that camera out. Because i don't remember anything because of the psychedelics i wouldn't go that far. What i'm saying is kids. If if people had a bad childhood psychedelics a wipe those memories. So please enjoy those questions. Which one do i do psychedelics. Because it's fascinating we're talking about. What is at another theory. As to where. The salem witch trials came to rot in in especially like rye bread rains where becomes but again out. I didn't know. I didn't understand that if you guys do it on your wedding night. It's just like you know like a crude question. No sex val and i. I don't remember on our wedding. It feels so you spent the whole day celebrate. I remember we went back to our hotel. We were so exhausted and it was the and then we got home and reta had sent us. Oh no that's for mastro's and we got home. And the next day we went and saw thor ragnarok and then we came home and head and made love the next day because i say knew tessa thompson got us. Both charged up thompson was the star of thor ragnarok. I would a hot shit without gorie dodd. Say he was the tension hot chick. She's the one in the robot the drunken yes. Yeah yeah her awesome. I yeah. I just watch ragnar. Two nights ago. I thought she was good reason. I remember it was good. Well is because at the star wars premier. She was there and she ran up to me and i've never met her before and she gave me. She's like i was almost at your wedding. And she gave me a huge hug. And i was like oh my because she was supposed to go my friend mirror quest love from the roots he and his era he and i have been friends for twenty five years and he was at our wedding and he i guess she was supposed to go with him but couldn't for some reason anyway so she was supposed to be at a wedding. You thought maybe pat new or new. Neither one of us newer. She was going to be a guest but then she couldn't come for hind. Been a movie with her. Sorry to bother you. I played omari hardwick white voice. Did you see that movie. It's about these telemarketers. Disappoint you about these african american telemarketers and they realized they sell more when they make their voices sound white so they have david cross and patent as the white voices coming out of their mouths. So it's like black clansman over the phone like selling some way satirical and crazy really funny. I heard it's not. I heard it takes. It takes nutty turn boots. Riley is the best director and so crazy and amazing. It's starch off the premise. Is the nutty turn. Then it gets a crazy turn. Like wow like a weird trippy. Eyes wide shut but not eyes wide. Shut it all way weirder. You'll love it. You'll really love it did you. Have you heard that theory. That eyes wide shut was entirely making fun of tom. Cruise like cast. Tom cruise to make fun of people like tom really. It was a joke. I know that there's a lot of much like you've heard that in katie's heard it much like the shining and if you guys have become one person pardon me well no. There's theories that eyes wide. Shut is about jeffrey epstein. And that whole you know all of because at the mansion where he goes to that weird sex party that initials j. e. r. mcgee. Oh really is that true. Yes true wow. I love room to thirty seven if you watch that my my. It's i've seen it so many times. What is it about. Do you like just like figuring shit out. Do kind of nerdy. I'll even watch speed run videos even for games that i don't speed run because i love the conspiracy of like if you shoot an arrow on this block. Someone thought it through. I love it. I love the process of how the human mind comes up with conspiracy theories. Because i think that's what has happened since the beginning of time. It's a big scary world and what you do to comfort yourself. Is you invent stories and sometimes people like well the conspiracy to kill jfk. How comforting to make. That's actually very comforting. Because what actually happened was a loan. Nutbag shot him because they weren't paying attention and that's a scary mom and dad weren't looking. It's way more comforting to go ohno. There was a whole planned out. People are in control even if the control is evil. Yeah it's comforting to think that there's control the devil you know. I remember after nine eleven. I was flying on a plane. I was like it's okay. They won't do it again because they did. As a false flag thing. And you know what i mean like. It's not going to like it made me comfortable flying. Yeah all that. Go see stuff once once. They got what they wanted. They're not gonna do again. That's kind of like a good idea like there's been a serial killer in your neighborhood and they killed someone next door you're like you're going to hit another spot. They're not gonna hit the same well. They're goal block. They do every other block. They don't do well if somebody murder. Serial killer kills someone in your neighborhood. There's a very good chance they won't do your neighbor. That's what i'm saying. It's not going to strike twice. That's why you fly the airline. That had the crash right recently because x y you eat at the restaurant that got the derating and then reopened with the rating. You know that they've gone over the top. Yeah cleaning things because they don't wanna get closed down. Yeah and then to that. Yeah so no sex on your wedding. I don't know i don't remember. I remember that there. There wasn't we were so exhausted. 'cause it was such an amazing wedding and reception. We danced till forever back and it was the next day. Billy bob kraft our wedding. And so did john know john was invited. Wasn't yes okay. In crashed the wedding. It was more fun when he did that. Billy bob dude. That was fun. Was he recording some box. Cutters we got married at henson studios and they. That's where the old fund. Charlie chaplin theater. Is there this big studio. And that's the home of the muppets clearly and i'm obsessed with the muppets. And he's obsessed with film. And i happen to be very good friends at the people who run the studio because one of my friends is a singer and i was there for many years. And they're like you should get married here. Why did i bring this up. Because billy bob thornton and so he was recording music in one of the recording studios while our wedding was happening and so he just came down but he knew people at the wedding. Billy bob thornton. Whose band was called is called the box cutters which were used by terrorism to take over nine eleven. We got married at the muppet studios. Muppets take manhattan box cutters. Oh my god you ever seen the one independent first of all the conspiracy room. Two thirty seven is a conspiracy. It's just deep thinking into the room where they learn how to do stuff known what. What's the movie about the shine shine. But those aren't conspiracies as much as potential intentions of a direct right. What's the thing with the animation. And they always put the one thirteen. Thirteen sorry i was thinking of two different doors. Well that's not always a door. That's that's that's why it's a little. It was the it was the room number of where they learned animation at at is and they put all their picks. Right i was saying is people going. Oh no what. The shining is really about stanley. Kubrick faked the apollo one. It's also like the moon is two hundred and thirty seven hundred thousand miles and he wears the and he wears the usa shuttle shirt as he stands up. But then you're like but no to thirty seven is in the novel by stephen king who wasn't right like oh interesting has nothing to do. It's not as fun. But in the a cot with just cutting you and go but it was also on the book and then it cuts back all sorts. No it's about america's mistreatment of the indian all the county. Yes short boxes and on the indian designers to that. You don't buy that one. No one all all disagree anywhere strug disagree you think it was they. Just get me something. Stanley kubrick was like. Just give me something. He was the blood. The blood elevator buried on an indian ground. Well they also think in that blood elevators and you can see a body somewhere like there was a murder during the shooting and there's a body that floats in the people use spot in the water for like a second but it can. It's just you can see anything anywhere. Well that's that after nine eleven they were like you can see the devils face. I remember anything in the smoke. Let's get over it. It's all done okay. So you have a podcast and you read texts. Yup thanks for having us on all right good. We just wanted to promote his. You know what i like about your podcast tell me well obviously or a stand up comedian as patent and you are the only podcast person i've met. Who has a hand held. Microphone as if you are doing. Stand up and this is what you like about nelson. I'm not done pete. You ain't got already for complement and that we don't have my extend not enough. I'm not done. I love it and i need it now. These are just happy observations. I love that's the good name for your book. Happy thank you okay. that's written. it's been written. Well i like that. And then i also like i wasn't going to go into a whole thing. I just like the fact that we're just chilling on your couch. It was just the microphone. Dominion like you're letting me down. What it is if i get interrupted in any form whatsoever or if i am about to interrupt someone because i have a thought and i try to interact i interrupt. That's the problem. Because i can't hold a thought for very long and so and so i did have a whole thing i wanted to tell you and then you said something and then it went pouf but yeah it was what you like about my podcast. I just really think that this is fun. Just sitting on a couch and chilling. And that's fun although she brings up an interesting point are do you use hand-held nights because this is your comfort zone in communicating wilson. I really good point. Never when we did it. At meltdown we had stands. Oh that is true. We sat at a table. Thank you both are very comfortable. I prefer it this way. I prefer at this and i feel like that i love that. What are you doing. look at him. Go look at them go. And he like moved the microphone way like he's like rockstar casino and she pulls it like straight. Anyway my point is i feel very cool holding a microphone like as if i'm a rockstar. As if i'm a i like the director for healthy selfish. Yep yep what surprised you the most about. Because if i moved in with and i would have certain guesses. What surprised you the most meredith. Oh boy i'm gonna go wait in the car for a while. She's got to talk. Roll the windows up immigration. What surprised me the most about living with you. Oh you know what it was. I'm not gonna interrupt go ahead. I've got this one's definitely not gonna interrupt compliment just said you weren't gonna interrupt and now i can't remember what we'll take a word from our sponsor go ahead the most well. I was never married before. I was single for four thousand years. The only person i ever live with my cat. And when i lived with patton i it wasn't just necessarily him in particular could have been anyone but i feel like whenever because i lived alone if i had people over at my house i was like. Can i get you a drink. do you want to sit down. Are you comfortable. I'll put some music on. I'll put a candle. Make it really nice. Give my full attention to the person who's visiting me. And when i'd go visit somebody you give your full attention to the person that you're with you don't just like you know if i came into your house right now and i was just like i'm going to go listen to music in your backyard. That'd be weird. So i was very used to when you're visiting or having visit are you give your full attention so when i first married patent well even before that when we were living together and i was sort of like hey did it. Like giving him his full attention you okay. Now i'm gonna go to work. I was like what like you'd go and like do stuff in your office. You're like. I need my solitude. I need my time. And i was like do. What am i supposed to be doing at someone else's house. This was very strange to me living. That was moved it. Yeah feel like. That's something i could have been told you asked i breach that. Because that is a touchy thing. Oh i don't think you made a mistake. I just feel like when. I am a new relationship. I feel like that's an interesting precedent. You have to be like just so you know. Oh he's when i'm working. It looks like i'm not working. That's number that's the number two coming in you're sitting there that's part of it so does as me just staring or or rearranging books. I'm thinking of course. I would say watching a movie as well. Yeah i have a very role definition of where. I'm wearing right now. Totally the same. What you just said watching movie. That's his whole thing. But let's don draper do you like i'm john ham again. You know when he's trying to think of an idea. I was going to the movies. Yeah i'm like it's perfect. Sit there and occupies your conscious mind and your subconscious does the work. Yeah i wasn't. It was more of a lifestyle change. Oh my god. I hope you don't was like get over at ease into it that i told the physician now that i know that though yeah i love that he needs his he really because i i'm a very social person. I like to visit my friends. I like to go out. I like to hang out. I like to do lots of fun things. And he really likes to just sit in his room and read a book or have a cup of tea or watch a movie or right or just be indoors quiet alone. And i'm like this is very to me. Unveil i just wanna go do all the things i used to do as a single girl and i still do and i just went to ohio last week and we were having such a great time and i said to her. I bet you'll relate. I was like if it weren't for you. I'd be in the dark eating noodles right now. That is just so true. And it's true and he'd be in the dark eating saltines ride eating a sleeve of saltines. God i love us. Do you ever mush up a bunch and one cheek and slowly distributed chairman. It sounds disgusting. But it's a great no. I'm not saying it's not disgusting but you should try to. Oh i love. She's not she's nips choosing. what are we in bangladesh. I'm saying read my friend. She's nips but there are thing pete. Oh you'll know what she's an like an off brand international there are two things right there's red vines and twizzlers and there's she's it deep impact not do not give personal cheeses. She's also the same divide. You're talking about between orioles and hydroxy. Well there to like only oriented. Be like no or hydroxy oriole sucks. It was always like there's very very specific camps hydroxy. Why did we have hydrates. he's coast. I'm from here in east coast schedules. It's like verner soda. Did you guys have twizzlers. We had red vines. Twist like a twizzlers straw. Probably much right. I mean really. Thank you now in. Didn't gross you out my vulnerable moment telling you my mush. Cud system horrifying straws delightful delightful. Yes like i'm going to agree with you. That much system is gross. You're gonna like it what's happened. You're gonna do it what what happens if you spit into that ended up halfway. Would you drink. I swear to god he's leading you drink as your own spit folks now now. Now you wouldn't do it now. Hoax magic spoon. Cereal is fantastic. Podcast you spitz. And pete he's gonna he's picking you please all right. I'm not gonna chase. What is happening right now. You can just call you patent. What if i have to tell you something. There are times in life where you just need to stop. And i'll tell you why sometimes patent we'll do a voice. Oh that's right he'll do he'll do like an accent and i'm literally stop right now. Stop right now. i'm gonna stop loving you. Stop the dealbreaker thinks funny like just just. Let's just what you just won't do it. But if i do the baltimore accent stop right now because i think about that voice. I won't be in love with you anymore if i do a baltimore. Be in love with you anymore. But i literally got to stuff disgusted and don't want to be around a little bit and just to go to my headphones on go. She don't like that boombox deer horn l. 'cause you get into camp harvey's giddy up it's about or you get them you down there. We'll we'll just go to your mundi did it. You did it go to camp. Harvey should get some swords now with with talk because i grow up either. I don't i don't like grossing out. Then but i'm surprised that that gross you out just right now for some reason it just. It's a weird mood. The petulant child. I understand petulant. Child is stamping. Like there's other times you might not be crust. It's not like that word again and we'll be you can keep talking about it but just don't say that you know don't put word enough. It's the words that it's the visual. I think interesting now. He's drinking water. I know think of it so i need. When's my palate. You weirdo meredith. Ever seen a ghost in alien of your ever almost died. Well yes well i up. She was almost killed by the ghost of an alien. It's really weird. News about alien goes you don't but they must exist. Have a bit about you. Never see cow ghosts. We kill a million cows our where then this is. The tag boo is only a letter off from. Oh my one of the words facts ever do is just move but when you have a cold. That is even better. Do you guys answer the question. Almost did yeah. I was called. No i was killed. Oh my god. I knew it your holiday. I was almost crushed by a train. I and then. I was in the northridge earthquake. That was scary. Slow any of these down. I was almost crushed by train. Let's start with that one okay. I was fourteen years old. And i was filming a movie. Called the journey of natty gann and about a little girl who hops boxcars during the depression did find her dad and we are filming a scene and i was hanging off the edge of a boxcar the entire crew was inside the boxcar filming me hanging off the edge and and you know it's a close up of me but i'm hanging off the boxcar thing. You're not in a harness. no no no no early. Eighties didn't do battle on endangerment what out endanger what well you know if you've ever seen a train on a track there's that you can go straight or maybe it'll go to the right and the train will start to go to the right. And they have someone who controls the little thing whom usually a villain or like a conductor on the train. There's always a villain on the guy at the train station. Who's supposed to do the things to move the train tracks so the train was going forward and i don't know what happened but somebody the second half of the train instead of going forward started to go on the off track and so the second half of the train while the front ones it started to tilt and it started to tilt over and so the boxcar is coming over on top of me and like literally. If i didn't jump off. It would've almost crushing but it did stop. It didn't crush all the way the crew was inside and the like almost falling out the whole the doors. Open part and yeah. That was fun. I was terrified and then did you finish the day. I think we've probably got there. We got the shot. Let's let's go to probably. Wow she's alive. Let's move was fun and then in the earthquake was particularly dangerous. Or was it just thought you were going gonna die. I thought it was going to die. My mom i was still living at home and and i had just done a movie way out in the desert and we wrapped. And everyone's like stay for the wrap party. I'm like no. I'm gonna go home. I drove home. That freeway totally collapsed so the people who are doing the movie were stranded out in the desert. I got home. I was home and it was shaking so hard. Our chimney bro. Like everything broke in our house and my mom. I ran into her room and held her under the door. Jamb and and she was freaking out. I'm like it's okay. Mommy we're good. Don't worry we're we're okay but inside. I'm like oh my god this is how i you were comforting. Your mom see trying to control how people feel even an an earthquake. Yeah well. I'm the protector of pregnant. Pete no should. I wanted to to protect your because when there was a murderer in our backyard. I was the one who looked at you. And alison said guys. Stay here and i ran out into the back with a pink bat. And you have a whole bit about it. But i was going. I'm like are you you get the murderer. I'll get the bit. That's how it was very core confused contractor that somebody somebody told a random dude who's never been to our house before to go to our house to check out something in the backyard that needed to be fixed. The dude didn't ring the doorbell at all. By the way the contract gave this subcontractor dude our gate code like gave him the geico and didn't he was coming. Didn't say anything. We're into in ohio. Walk through our yard. Some dude walks in and then alice goes money. There's a guy in the backyard and i went. What and i'm looking at the security cameras. And i see him go to the back and i grabbed my little pink aluminum bat and i run downstairs and i literally look to you and allison goes you say here. Lock the door. And i ran out to the back with get like i scared the who are you. What are you what time was it. It was daytime middle of the day. But there's a lot of invasion. You went right to back. Well i have a gun. Exactly what if happened to us valid. I was sitting watching. Tv was probably like seven o'clock sky. Look kind of a crazy looking guy. Just walk through just opened. The door said i help you. And he said yeah. I'm just turning eight. And i'm like fun creed act together. Make put a long overcoat on a wire you work. I could be the dead person. But i'm also just sort of like this. Probably an explanation minded not look like he looked crazy and also to his to his his fault he instead of going. Oh i was sent here fire contract. He was like you know. Didn't say anything he he was real. Who are you. what are you doing here. And he's like a any takes out his phone and he starts scrolling through his phone. I'm like probably to snap a pick of the lady with the pink bat but also like when a crazy manson chick girl comes back with a baton is coming at. You just go. I bury the agree. Yeah when we watch let me hang on. Let me get my phone out. let's show do vallon. i watch where i'm just like. What's frazier i'm embarrassed. But we like watching frazier in the pandemic and we're still watching it and there's so many situations which is like just say say what is what is just go. Oh i know how this looks. But i'm actually looking for my and it's over but then the drama would be over so you guys are good for a podcast. 'cause you're bat. I you get the bit we get. The story. didn't say anything. He's taking his sweet time coming out with whatever. And so. I was like start. Walking start. Walking might leave. And i'm pointing to the exit like stop looking your phone and start walking like like i was my i got real alpha good for that. It wasn't and it also helps. Because then i kind of followed her out. And i'm in cargo pants and flip flops and like a stain t shirt but i think it actually helped the situation because she is just vivid and in this dress with a pink bat like looks gorgeous but also frightening and i look like the house behind her like i can't when she gets like can't control their man he's created many during the door salesman. Just please just leave. I think that actually is frightening. She was. I think it scared him. Even more seeing me twenty behind going to do what she says i can do. I would walk away right now. You were that you were flavor. Flav to her check debate. Yes it was glad she she hits me to know maybe never say that because actually did meet someone that a girl did that to him. Horrible sucks yeah. Oh i had a girlfriend. I was scared up for sure. It's terrible no. It is scary especially when you're enormous but emotionally. She would make me feel so strong and it sounds very scared of her. Yeah because it. You don't expect it not you know yes. There are stereotypes. That's not nice. To like perpetuate a stereotype. But you don't expect a smaller girl than you to be violent you and hit you like that's horrific assaults and all that sorta i mean is that isn't that terrible and i can't imagine the man must feel again stereotypically of what how we raise boys girls makes it even worse when you feel even it's even more scary because it's so unexpected and you're like how did i get in the situation. Yeah and then. They're shame right in women. I think anybody in an abusive situation probably feels some sort of shame. Yes but i would imagine a man being abused by a woman probably the shame as a yes. They all feel it but it just got a feel a little strange way lecturing that i really have a vivid memory of walking down the street with this woman and thinking that like in a scott pilgrim style that she could just hit me with one hand. And i'd go flying through buildings and stuff like obviously. I didn't believe that rationally but like that's there's certain people in our lives. My parents are like this. I don't know if you can relate to this. Of course. I'm nervous. When i talked to my parents because the psychological bond is so strong that they can say one thing and ruined my we. My mom's won't just looked at me. And i might exactly. I know what you're thinking like. Don't we do more visits. It's like because it's really loaded to be with you. And i'm sort of embarrassed to admit that like like they can just kind of go like and you're just like that it's like handing out hanging out with a loaded gun right you know and so it can be really luck can kill also very weird when there's people that have been were raised in physically and emotionally very abusive environments but somehow they rise above it or they cope and they become better people and there's other people that one day their mom or dad at askance for like half a second just spun them out for life. Yeah and so. It's all proportional and it's all relative. Oh man that sounds. Scarier that yeah. We've talked about that on our friday with val podcasts. Where it's like. I'll have like a difficult conversation with my dad or something which means the example was me on a family vacation and i just didn't i. The way of loving myself was to say. No i was just like i really wish i could. Oh dal said that. I wish i could. Which is the truth like. Yeah god you i wish. We both are fantasizing about away where that would be fun. We're walking machine. That have that good experience. But i know that. I'm not so i'm protecting myself from even grateful that you can imagine it to the same fantasy and you're you probably and i know my dad were similar. You probably just had the right cup of coffee. You just had the right day. Maybe a bowel movement and the world is infinite possibilities. I'm a little bit more grounded. And i'm like he would laugh his ass off if i said any of this. Tim and i'm like dad. Three days is stretching it with us like three days too much. Yeah we start going crazy because day one. It's still kind of fresh to reheat those. You play the same record. How are you. How's your brother has job as you can get through one meal meal to starts getting a little thin meal three. You're like and we're funny like we're like it's time for you guys get the hell out of you need to go so we're not going to go to cape cod and do that route draft with you. I would be so. I would start eating like shit. Like real psychological. Went one to one. Something happened by the way none of this is my dad's fall. It's all how i interpret it. I would start eating badly. So if i had been being healthy. Suddenly i'm eating pizza. I would maybe smoke pot. I might sleep badly. I'd wake up with a huge crick in my neck that i can't turn my neck so it's not like psychology. Gets this like right office this. Woo woo like. Oh the soft science like you get to talk about your problems. i'm like this has real world mother implications. I'm talking about like real pain and real unhealthy behavior. Because i wasn't equipped to process in invite to cape cod but knowing that knowing it and then protecting yourself and going. I wish i could is such a huge step. And it's like everything medicine that someone could prescribe someone saying like just say the truth. I wish i could. I wish we could. That's as helpful. As i signed by the way i i wish i could it so i wanted to spell that. She's the best she's all i'm all heading. She's oh embodiment on that smile of fat. Thank you so do either never to me. Therapy helped me so much. And the people don't understand that stress can have fit. Mix physical changes in your body. Actually it will re restructure your brain and nervous system stressful to your brain has no yeah. I was a psychology major. I want my thesis was on multiple. Multiple personality will meet your mic. And and did you know and this is very interesting different altars. Those are the different personalities might have different. Physial physical manifestations for example. One could need glasses because the stress or whatever it is alters just slightly the shape of your eyeball slightly that you might need reading glasses because even in real life a regular person stress might make you have a little bit. Yeah and so anyway. Isn't that interesting stressful. Freeze you to that same girlfriend that i was afraid of. We live off of franklin avenue where you see was. I've told this story a million times. But i've never told it to you. I came out of the house. I was so scared of where we had just had a fight or something. I got in our driveway. And i couldn't for the life of me. Remember how to get to franklin avenue. We lived off of like it was take a left. But that's how paralyzed. There's so many relationships that i've witnessed. That are like that where the person knows how to traumatize you. That might not be their intent but they sort of trigger you to the point where you actually become more annoying to them. So let's say they get annoyed that you don't remember stuff and then they get mad at you and that only makes you worse. Yes and then that it's a cycle. Now they're just mad at you because you can't remember where franklin avenue is. I have a perfect example of that. My sister and i had been in a huge fight. I was supposed to pick up her daughter to take her for the weekend. Like good. anti. 'cause i'm i love my nieces more than anything in the world and anyway i i was driving to my sister's house i had just my car was on. Its last legs. It literally broke down in front of my sister's house. And i said hey. Can i borrow your minivan for the weekends. Just so that i don't lose any time with her waiting for and she's like at first she's like no you can't borrow anyway. We got such a huge fight that finally she said. Fine take the minivan. So i put her daughter in the minivan. I got in the mini. And she shook me up so much. That as i left her house in the minivan i smashed into my own car damaged my car car because i was so stressed out and i never get a really good driver like that was like the first ever anything i if stress had a physical manifestation more than it does it does have subtle one but if it looked like the measles or chickenpox right like one i goes wonky we would take it so much more seriously but it is killing us and it's also like what we see the images that we see in the way that we talk and all this stuff we really are casting spells on one another all the which kind of goes in defense of you saying. I think it's beautiful to say. Beautiful baby or pattern. That is a really great shirt for you. He is all these. Things are spells. I sometimes do this on. Look you look great tonight just that. Yeah but then there's also connection it is connection for just and you know they said during corona virus every everybody was kung fu. Everybody was home. Nobody was interacting and there. Were these studies done that. Psychologically when you go to places like your office and there's a water cooler and you just chat with the person you're with that there are walking down the street and going. Hey cute shirt that all. Those little mini interactions really do increase the serotonin dopamine in your body. And and when you have none of those when there's no interaction like that it can really throw you to the depths of despair. Well it's also bad for you physically. I wish i could remember the statistic more precisely but it's like being isolated. Is i think as bad as heart. Disease it causes. It is is a major cause of stress being not having some kind of interaction. It's what you know when little babies are born preemies babies they have women you know. Volunteers come and just touched them all day. So them grow yeah or else they don't grow. Yeah you know there's always. I'm really glad that we feel like we're on the beginnings of a being very open about medication therapy mental health. I the years that i resisted going on antidepressants and going to therapy. Because i bought into that fucking myth. And i think a lot of this came out all comedy because of the kind of figures that we worshiped. Which is we're trying to beat. You gotta be tormented to be funny. Yeah like if i would. If i take prozac what am i going to have to be talking about right. No you and by the way every all these people that we that we worshiped that we're all tormented and mostly drunks and drug addicts. Why do you think they were drinking and taking drugs right right. Who tried to improve their moods. They could create things like the whole idea. They just didn't have write access to the talk therapy and stuff that we had there. So i yeah and i remember so clearly. I've always remember this. When i when i finally did go into therapy because i was like having a nervous breakdown in my in my late twenties and i called my mom and dad and talk to them and suck. My dad was a marine for twenty years and it was like i just feel so weak that i make them like. I'm going to therapy. You know and i just feel so weak like you never went to therapy humphrey. Bogart never did therapy. And my dad said no humphrey. Bogart never did therapy. He also smoked a carton of cigarettes a day right. Which is that was him doing. Therapy abbott. right. You know so so. Do you want to smoke a cart cigarettes a day or do you want to go to therapy and liberal light. Just like oh wow. So he was doing pull ups when he told you that spill over tripwire explosions in the background. But what kind at. I just see all these things like that song. They did on crazy ex girlfriend. And then you know. Pete davidson on. Snl like this. No shame in the medication game. Make your mad right. Take take your meds romantic about going crazy. I completely are a creative person. Take your meds. You can keep doing creative stuff. I it sounds like you. You don't need this. But i love this when i my wife left me when i was twenty eight my first wife obviously and that was really sad and i was talking to millennia and i was like well. Shouldn't i be funny. I was like. I'm not funny like i wasn't fun i could. I could fake stand up for seven minutes even like the week she left me. I could go up. And i wanted to go do the rhythm to do the rhythm here the laughs and to kind of feel a little bit normal but i got off stage and i was just wearing another dentist reference for your dad but wearing the weighted lead jacket that no one can see like. You're just really heavy. And i said i thought all this stuff was supposed to make us funny in malaysia. Goes pain gets in the way it was like so there you have it. Good mullany great rid of the pain. But that's all get rid of all of the best stuff that i wrote in for katie to animate so trump my My special annihilation which was about the death of my wife and losing her in becoming a widower. But i wasn't really able to start writing and putting that special together to do properly until you process met at nonprofit meredith. No you wrote annihilation before. Well i wrote a lot of it. But i wasn't able to make it funny until i had some frigging joy. Yeah of course you know what i mean like. There was that as everyone. He wrote that totally paint. I wrote all. I wrote down all the incidents i wrote down all the reality of what happened but i wasn't able to start of corn until i met and by the way it was it wasn't even it wasn't even me necessarily falling in love. We we met and just talked for three months on on facebook. We just texted. We didn't even talk on the phone and just having someone to talk to every night and going. Oh there's there's intelligent cool. This is an having someone to talk to in the dark at the end of the day. That's what set me back on the path to where i needed to be so you all and i saw so many people during the comedy boom and this is the sound really mean but it was true. What you were saying. You would see a lot of these young comedians going. I had a horrible childhood. I should be hilarious like sometimes you have a terrible tout and it doesn't make you funny and there's other people who've had you know zach. Galifianakis had the most wonderful family at the most wonderful upbringing. And he's a he's brilliant. Feted you know and and and and you know people like david cross and lorikeet had nightmare. Childhoods also brilliant. But just because you have one of the other doesn't guarantee you the you know what i mean. That's so and you would see a lot of people coming to that realization and was it felt really tragic like you almost wanted to go. They deserve to have something. What the hell sometimes. That's not what it is absolutely well. i think. Probably a bell curve for me. And i'd love to hear what you think about this. It's like to me. It was a desire to connect you were saying connecting with people and as an actor you can relate. I'm sure i felt as a kid. I was like i'm not getting from the little. Hey how you doing. The fifty percent eye contact and the glazed overlook look like. I'm not getting enough. I want the hard stuff i want to know. And it's not just that they're listening to me but when three hundred people are listening to me. We're all listening to the same thing. There's like a united ryan concrete association of the moment. So maybe when i was younger it was like oh. They're all listening to me now. I just like that. We're all of one mind. That's why if you patent and allison. I'll watch movies together and there's nothing i hate more than during the movie if you like. Check your twitter because because it takes you out of that we're all in this whole. I understand that are in this room together. You get up to go to the bathroom and you don't posit. Why is that offensive. It's like we're watching glazier. I don't wanna wait. Yeah i want. I want us all in the same with. Can i tell you something. It's going to sound stupid column an epiphany. But it really wasn't epiphany i one of the last times i took mushrooms is i kept saying over and over. I don't know if you can remember this. It's hard to remember mushroom trips but sometimes like the sound of your voice. Sounds really amazing. 'cause you get you get in touch with how it's coming from inside you and you're like i like you just want to be i. It's can hear legu- you're hearing you're hearing yourself. You're hearing and i kept saying i started mumbling. It basically not like an insane person. It was a willful mumble and values. What are you saying. And i go. It's all an excuse to be together. It's on excuse to be together. It's all an excuse to be together. It's all an excuse to be together. And it is meredith patent. It is an excuse to be together. I think one of the things. I like about show businesses. It gets me into sitting on the couch with you to. We're we're neighbors. We wouldn't we wouldn't do this and by the way that's mostly me. You know it wouldn't be like like. I'm not putting the onus on you guys but here we are doing it right so i was smart enough to get into a job. That gives me what i need but i don't always seek out. That was the thing. I was going to say when i said what i like about your podcast that you're not just holding your microphone and sitting on this couch but it's sort of like because we're just sitting on this couch it feels like we're having plans and and it's like clams like we plan to. Do you wanna hang out like hey like in like when you're young and you're like hey what are you doing. Nothing you wanna hang out. Sure come and you guys just hang out people. Just hang out. Remember that in the basement hang out with there was a super nintendo. But it's all an excuse to be together. Kids get that's right right time. You're just half the time when we get together for dungeons and dragons sitting there gossiping about stuff that can i. Yeah dungeons and dragons is the phrase. It's all an excuse to be together. Became an event like men who watch sports women can go and have lunch together and chat over lunch and dinner and guys. It seems like you may want to come over the game and you're just sitting having chips and drinking beers but you have a re- you have some. You're scared to look at each other. Maybe and have those chatty chatty. I was always trying to bring. Chatty chatty fenway right but but all you boys are together watching the game and at least you go juicy that and then you can talk about your locked into the same thing right a talking about. We are what we see. We are what we see together. And that's why like live comedy life theater. These things can feel much more. Mythical more mystical. Yeah because you're all agree you're conspiring. I've said this a million times but the audience is a group of individuals conspiring to become an audience that merges with the performer. And then you conspire together to become something we call the show. That's wound go death. That's transformation yeah. That's that's one of my favorite moments wrote about this in my second memoir. Go to go into the new beverly. I'm starting second one called. I forgot some stuff. Yes oh there's way way so and plug it. It's called silver screen. Fiend about my years of being obsessed with the new beverly and going there every night scenes addicted which addicted which just by the way reopened and all their shows were pre sold out for the whole month of may me so happy. We can't get you in. There's literally no space and that made me happy but right one night in the late nineties. I'm there on a friday night raining. We're watching casablanca and right when they're li at the end when she's he's making her get on the plane and you know. Does that whole speech. The film broke for that scene which was so such a cliche. Like why would it break at that moment where the grades films in so everyone started. Laugh for a second like. Can you believe this has happened. And then while they fixed the film we. They didn't turn the lights on everyone. The doctor started whistling as time goes by from the spontaneously. The whole theater. Whistle as time goes by and i was alone people there alone and we all just got together and dismissal. It was beautiful. That's that's great. Are we done no telling her to write it down. We animate little now. It's just in the show. We animates little moments. I like it i like. This is our little one. Time goes but i'm totally with you. When i said this inchworm story because that's going to be it is a door gentlemen. Japanese anime guy's really cute. She's on shrooms a little thing. We let katie pick the moments katie fish. Whose incredible she. Oh she doesn't. Oh katie frazier. I know her work. she's great. Sx sex's weird holy shah. She she used to be our nanny and she's one of our good friends pam. She's a dear friend. She's really towns. It just got. I don't know if she's she's doing well in her career. Good it makes me really happy to what were you saying. Oh so. I went and saw the national. They tried to play a song three times and they forgot the words three times. The only part you remember that that's that's why don't the podcast is and that's why we like therapy. And that's why we like comedy and you're trying to trick yourself into some organic real moment. Something real that's happening. Yeah yeah an actual event is happening right now. Actual thing. yeah. I feel like when i looked to katie. Made you aware of the time and you wanna go well. Also we do have to really down. We gotta go home. I gotta read ads. I got a bunch of work. We gotta read ads. Who do that. Magic spoon is it. Can you give me a contact for is animate that one of me trying to get out of it. Well what about the others. Have you ever seen a ghost. we will let you go. Well you have. What what what's up. She's man she's mad. She's taking your head but she's filing wiley. I'm shaking my head. Because i don't like the fact that if i if i don't want this in the podcast that's why know because i don't wanna leave. This is fun. And i like hanging out here and we'd never gonna do anything anyway. Today was such a good day. We walked on the street and went to a real restaurant sitting talking to a new person. And it's a friend like college again. Man does feel like college looking at messy. It is my little air. Yeah this is my little zone. We'll tell your weird alien encounter story. Oh i don't have an alien store the point dume one. Oh i just went. I used to. I lived in malibu. I grew up in. Oh there's two stories boring. I don't i wanna talk about. It's a ufo story. And i thought. I saw ufo if you say it that way. I mean it's so boring. i thought i was kidnapped. I saw squad back to his village would allah boo. My my dad is a dentist and my mom is a interior decorator. interior decorator. I round fifteen years old ten. I was ten years old which is right around the age. It was more like nine. I'm sorry it was more like nine. Which is really a little before you can really remember something that tells you. I was by myself at home alone. Tickets go by myself. It's one of those houses in malibu. A dentist house white marble floors big picture windows looking at the ocean. I was in a fight with my sister natalie. She's a bitch telling this story. I am not natalie's sake natalie. I'm telling the story you went out onto the balcony to smoke one cool cigarette because that was nine his your nine years old. My parents are gone. You try to work your way. Your dad has always like. Why are your teeth yellow when he did the cleanings which he did. Every thursday she got a full cleaning. Thursday bubblegum was. The flavor tried grape. Wants threw up gone not like it. It's like a cup of spit for pets. Just didn't waiting for wasn't really going to act to the ufo. You're smoking cool cigarette. You look at the clowns and there's something sort of it almost looks like there's something with a cloaking device like in the avengers in front of a cloud meaning. It was the cloud but it looked like a reflection of the cloud in front of the cloud. Many lights started flashing go. Many lights started flashing a triangle circle circle lights. This is a great story. Why am i told her. As a circle of light yes and it meant so fast. I saw it. It was like covering and then it was zip and i was like tonight you see and then i called my grandma who knows better than grandma. Yeah but my parents were. I didn't know where they were. I couldn't get a hold on my goes home call. Grandma and i was like i just saw. Ufo she's like let you didn't see a ufo don't be afraid. Does she. Called the whatever. The weather balloons society airs aerospace people. I don't know those people who animal control for the club's control anyway. She was just like oh. They're doing testing anyway. I'm sure it's not true. I'm sure it was. Us there's all these youthful so. I make that patent way. Just the fact that well what i make of it is our country is at such a state of chaos that i feel like the pentagon went well. Now's the time to tell people that this. Ufo's because they have so much on their mind but the pentagon well no one did. There's a bunch of stuff up there. We don't know what it is and then everyone went. Okay when can we go out. It's crazy alien. Aliens is actually the least is the most probable like some sort of experts because the other theory that they work with is that it might be like russia or china. And i'm like well that's terrifying. But that's how you get people to care about it. Is he goes rations. And then then we would care about the attack. Mrs. encounters from the late sixties early seventies which means if they have that kind of technology back then yeah then they would have had iphones by the or they would've taken it. Was aliens back. Then if it's if it's rusher that's right that's right then because they go that thank you you just. But it's in the book to that moment. Do you get the reference. But it's in the book to room two to thirty seven. It's a callback. I made it a verb to get whatever reference. I'm sean vis references. Every time he tells me a story. I'm mike I'm like i don't understand any of your references right now. They're all going over my head. I understand. I wanna google point dume. Ufo nineteen seventy-nine. Because if she saw what you saw a lot of people must have seen it. It was over the ocean. Why why would have a lot of people seen it. Maybe people weren't looking at the sky. Vital ocean no making it even more special. Did other people see it. They confirm what you said right. I don't know what's the meaning of life. What do you think what what happens when we die. Do you believe in any sort of unifying. You know it's interesting physics just kind of started coming out with this thing. We always thought it was this newtonian idea. That matter was where it's at the empty space was irrelevant. And now we're learning more and more that it's empty spaces energy and matter is sort of irrelevant but it's all one energy which is really really woo and really really far out so i love. I'm a mystical person. I love all that stuff. I love when spirituality. Yeah there you go. There's my palm stone. It's broken spirituality and quantum physics can make out and religions off to the side crying. What do you think well. It's a safe space. By the way i'm not going to great or critique i just and i was looking for a name anyway i think that well i. I was at my grandpa's funeral. And i saw him lying in his casket. And i was looking at him. The first time i ever saw the older Seventeen sixteen. I don't remember anyway. I saw him. And i looked at him and i was like i look down at him and then i was like looking up like grandpa. Where are you like. He was so not there. It was his body. But i knew he wasn't there and i was like like thinking is he. Is he watching this what he wasn't there. So my feeling there's this energy and you. What is that thing that brings you to life. We are all sort of like we all have bodies but we each have our spirit. So that spirit. I feel still exists. I feel that spirit just just still exists. But then i'm like but then once we all go into the wants. This spirit is floating around. Do we all become one spirit. Are we are individualized spirits. Like is this personality. The spirit this energy. That i have does that suddenly become one with all spirits and we are all once i feel like my i. I'm thinking that each person maintains their individual spirit. I maybe i mean clearly who knows. But you mean with your personality because that's an interesting take. Yeah because your spirit is your innermost truest self right and your personality and your likes and dislikes near like your way you're right is like your whatever. Your energy is your awareness not like. Oh i like ice cream but that person doesn't like just your energy and that vibe your vibe vibe lives and so like when we talk about michelle i'm like well. Her vibe is right there. she's with us we are. We are co parent. I know this. Everybody thinks i'm such a weirdo. I don't think that michelle. And i believe that we are co-parenting. What can i tell you so much of a show. Is there alice. So they're on. So but yeah. You're literally physical right here. She is living on genetically. Yeah but. I don't know that. Because i didn't know michelle so when i look at alice i don't see this is the living Creation of michelle. I just see alice's alice and she's my little monkey. And i love him more than anything in the world and i'm her mom and michelle's her mom but there you are loving michelle in but i i'm like thank you for picking me to be on your team and yes let's do this. Let's make her the best that she can possibly be. And so. I feel like it's her and i don't think she's just one with a million people like patterns like oh she's up there with truman capote having tea and talking about amazing literature and i kind of feel that her energy is doing what her happiest thing would be doing. And so yeah. That's what i think about death. I think and spirituality and religion. And all that. I just think it's your your soul. Your spirit just continues to be exist floating somewhere. I actually think the way you would explain having to a child is a pretty great metaphor for what might actually be happening. Well you know what i'm saying to a child. Well sort sort of like what you said. I'm not saying what you said was childish. I'm just saying like oh you go up and you join everybody right like the idea of going into where all the dead people are right now. I don't necessarily literally think that you go up. And you're on a cloud sitting me. Neither metaphorically where they went. You're going right and where they are. You are yes and it's timeless and eternal and it's you're going back to where you were before you were born all that sort of stuff so i think that's really beautiful. I also i'm a believer that there's really one love so the love shared with michelle is the. It's not like a new love. it's just. She's in that because it's just love. Yeah that's an interesting way. And then you know there's that theory like there's the ocean just picture. The ocean is the university and we are all little cups. I was gonna say that. Yeah and then you pour the water in the winter the cutback motion and your well. You're part of the ocean anyway but you're your own little section of it and yet you are the ocean. Also that's right. Yeah that's right. Well i'm ripping that off from the. There's ramdas movie where somebody's husband is murdered. and he. She has his dream about him and this made his ball which it always makes me cry. When i watch it and she says what am i supposed to do. I don't want to meet somebody new. And he said when you find somebody new. I'll be a part of that left. I'll be in that love and he just loses it and it's giving me chills right now. We're all just now. We're in chi- hope. That wasn't too much. I know it's insensitive sensitive to me. You know everything totally. I mean life. Yeah right there's there's even something spiritual in failing to understand spirituality or the hired because in the reaching for it there there's spirituality and humanity in that i've always remembered this there's errol morris's first documentary the gates of heaven work. It's all about pet cemeteries and people who talk about. You know what losing a pet means. And it's just a beautiful film. There's i'm paraphrasing. But one of the cemetery owners is talking about how you had this little dog and it moved around and did stuff and you played with it and recognized you and then it's dead but all the parts that were there when it was alive are still there so something must have made it move. And this is a guy. Like very inarticulate talking about it and not but again the attempt to reach it actually land something very profound. That's right even. If you don't have any organized religion there is a part of something that made that thing move is not there anymore right exactly all the physical stuff exactly. Why think about this all the time on intelligence that the body is insane. It's great and you look at a just a body right. All the tubes are still connected. Nothing's disconnected everything's there. Maybe the heart's not and you try to beat the but that thing is there but what is it that gives them a life and that's the spirit and the soul and all that that's why when i even read things that i was raised with that i didn't understand that the time when they when they talk about being children of god or whatever or the the dwelling place of the in dwelling spirit this is christian. Language is like wait. That's awareness like it's not. It's not just a fantasy to be like you belong you your being here. Is your ticket to this. You're already here like you're already it and like our brains trick us and lie to us and say that we're not worthy now. God i i. We had that fight. I'm i must be real. What was patchy lint shed. Or whatever or i might have i was in a dark asked mood yesterday and i was like sometimes. I'm like. I want to write a book where one chapters the pete most of us know. Then that guy gets to write a chapter. Because i'm really interested in showing that's not what it is but i'm just saying it's fascinating better. Made me feel seen because it does feel like another person and yes it's like a different guy has the controls this infinite potential. I see everything's fucked. I'm like what is every. Brush your teeth and you're like kinda do this shit again. That's the feeling of despond. She's the daughter of a dentist. Don't really know. I only researched you so i know your dad does. I was going to probably why so many dentists references but I forget what i was saying. You said something earlier. And i don't remember what it was but it made me think of you're talking about. I can't remember what you said but just now said go ahead go ahead. I know i lost what happened which made me think of this thing. But i have you ever like looked at your. I have often tried to look at myself in the mirror. Like i'm looking at you right now. You're going to say this all the time looking at you. And i'm looking at you and i wanna look at me as if i'm not me i wanna see me in the mirror like oh look at that girl. What what do i think about that. I really wanna see me as not me and it's impossible. It is so hard to look at your own self and and try not to be you while you're looking and the story. I just wanna see like please do this. After the podcast. Please go into your bathroom and just look at yourself and try. That's what i'm saying. I do that all the time. I mean i do it all the time. I really wanna know i really. It's helpful if you give your brain something to do like if you just let yourself thing. No i'm like look at her. Is like i try to look at. I tell me what what do you mean. Well this is. What a mantras. I'm sure you've heard this. You have a monkey in your brain. That goes look at her eyes. Look at her hair. that's funny. I can't stop thinking that that's me. I'm getting a thing on my face or whatever it might be so giving your brain a mantras like giving the monkey pile of buttons and it's like move the buttons one by one into another pile so you might just say a good one is yes. Thank you or yes. It's really nice degree yourself with. Just yes say yes to yourself fifty sixty thousand times and then you can start to see your face. Not as it's the same thing by the way with a tree looked eckhart. Toler anybody the whole the name of the whole game. When i was on mushrooms at time i kept grabbing my friends on go. I don't know this arm. Sorry to be so touchy but like i. Would i just grab my point. Was i just look at that. And i go patents arm mystery done. I got it. I don't i don't think about it. I don't want i don't know that arm. It's a fucking mystery to me and it was really exciting to to reclaim it and go like i don't know this. I assume your legs or their spent no time with them. I don't know them. I don't know my face. I don't know a tree terrence mckenna's his great thing where he's like we don't see reality we hang all these tags elliptical katie the living mystery in katie. Put a little tag on it called katie. And before you not. There's so many tags between you and reality you haven't seen reality since you were seven years old all you're seeing your lay. I'm not saying you. I'm saying most people so you look at a tree and a great practice for a walking meditation as don't call it a trade. Just drop the label tree. If you can't do that another one is called something else. Colored quitting boo boo. You'll see that it shifts. The language is a virus. It's a it's a meaning making virus and the more we can get away from it the more you can actually drop anchor into what's actually happening right now. Even this podcast should be over by now. Everybody wants to end. Or i'll give you a better example putting my daughter down last night our two. That's a story and it's causing suffering. This should be done by now. Sovereign drop the label. Dad drop the label bedtime. What's happening. i'm with my precious diapered baby and my hand is on her chest. And i'm feeling it rise and drop. I'm making the problem. I'm the thief. I'm the liar. They told me the devil was the liar in the. It's my mind i'm stealing. I should be doing something. Here's a great eckhard totally you can take with you. If i wasn't sitting here i'd be sitting somewhere else. You're in line at the grocery store. If i wasn't standing here i'd be standing somewhere else. Take mushrooms with you. So i i would love that but that is what mushrooms can do right. Yeah yeah. I'm trying i'm trying to i feel like your kid. I do want you to feel free to go. So let me ask you the final question go ahead and then and then we can go because i do love this and i want to honor both of you and not to make you the person that wants lee but i mean we do have things on. It feels good. It feels right. So i didn't mean i really don't think of it. That way baby to the devil made me try to shut this. It's p. tone tone tone piton. That's that's because we're not labeling him anymore patent oakwood you could you. I realized after the fact from the simpsons. they're playing scrabble. that's right. Oh my god which is i'm going to think of questionable is that whereas before it was nothing thus a treat but when you find out what your mantra means it makes it worse Okay as a couple. Maybe you can answer because all of my best ones are with val and it usually involves a fart. Can you tell me a time when you laughed. Oh do you in front of each other. Well when we were dating. I said i said something like when we're together. I said something like far away baby like you know you love each other when it's like just far away and i thought that could be an inscription on the ring for it away. That means you really love them that it can happen. But i don't know i don't do that but he sure does. Yeah that's that's me unveil to show sneak one out every once in a while delights me. I wish i could think of. This is the sound of their butt blah blah blah blah joke. Well i celebrate that. I keep meeting couples that don't in front of each other or at least one and freaks me out. I'm like i don't understand. I don't understand what life i actually had this last night. I was stoned. I was going. I don't exercise. And i don't hold in my farts. Those are related like people who exercise can be uncomfortable for a time for good later. You can hold in your heart good later. People will think i'm not a farting guy. But i'm just like feel good now. Don't exercise and let it rip. Yeah i get my john exercise and that's it okay. Time that you guys laughed really really hard together. Doesn't have to be a great story. Maybe somebody fell. Maybe somebody fucked up time that we really really laugh together. I mean we. There's been so many especially when we've been like on a. We just took a very long drive together to take our daughter to camp. And we'll get on these weird riffs going back of telling like the dumbest jokes that we can and then she'll start going. Please don't go down this road. If you're dumb puns. And then i. I don't say that i don't say that you start. We'll say something. And then you'll say a pun and i'm like oh god and then five seconds later than you you you. The next line is another pun. Even better and i'm like oh my dear god or even worse and then you do another. That's all but they're amazing because he's so good at them and then they just keep going. And i'm like oh my god and then i'm like you're you're such a vet but then we start laughing because like it's the it's the old tim conway saying one times. It's funny three times. it's not funny. Nineteen times it's hilarious. Yeah the old letterman. Believe they're doing yes and so it's this shared mutual. She knows going to think of something. That'll be even worse than the last one i know she's gonna to even bigger appreciation of the skill and the joke and i jokingly and like oh god but i love it but i'm but i'm dissing it but i love it i love. What's amazing. Is we each have to keep topping ourselves. I have to keep thinking a worse pun and she has to think of an even bigger exasperated. Like she's like. I'm paying this but not for real and but knowing that it's this unspoken thing and it makes us we just. I just love it so much. It's all be together cracks up. I love that. Did you ever see todd berry. And i can't believe. I'm blanking on his name. John f. archer he's archer. He's bob's burgers now. Oh h jon. Benjamin i forgot which is why. Allow these amazing okay. They did this thing where they were playing. It's just a matter of trust. Which i think is billy joel. Oh yeah just and they played that for so long like it's just a matter of trust and the joke was they just did that part for so long it was kinda funny one. It was definitely not funny. Three and by nineteen. Yeah it was definitely funny really gonna do with this many. Oh my god. It's like all i got i got little teary eyed at the last. Because not only you come on. And he set it up perfectly. Oh we're going to watch because they do record the dress rehearsal on us and we're going to watch this terrible sketch. Yeah and they've shown terrible sketchy don't work. Yeah and then. Of course it's mac and me and then he goes into the you know what. Let me show. He goes no then then he said you know know everyone just like he plays mcnamee but before i did on your show that day. I was either going to pick that clip. Or there's the movie called baby geniuses. Which has this insane clip and start talking about that that clip about it but i went with mcnamee and then goes. It's a baby likely will break. Let me show with the god. I love him so much. He treats that bit. They found a way. It's oh god. I love him. I love that. Yeah okay. what's the name of your podcast is. Did you see my tax now. It's not no. He just erase all this a start again. Oh we haven't been recording. How is it not called. did you see my text. Did you get my text. See or as close if you same vibe dude. You see my tax still come help. That's what if there's a white power did you see my tits. I mean do you know what i'm saying type in did you see my and then start with a t. or did you get my tits. Even weirder baby. I did wow fun. He was just talking about spirituality. And god you got. You got my tits. Baby girl says that word. That's how dare me chits a delightful. Actually mad at myself is worse. I think jugs is his worst picture. I know i'm a little disgusted. With what i just said and i don't know i don't george carlin famous remember. We did the seven words you can't you can't say on television shit. Piss fuck cocker motherfucker and tits. And then he goes and tits doesn't belong. Yeah yeah you could. You cannot say tits for the longest time. You could bleep. Tips really did this. What about the tips. I dunno teat. No teats is a biological term slang term. Which is why you see more people saying like penis. You know what i mean. Yeah you use more anatomical language. Superfund your supervisor. The tips. I i'll deal with issues fun fun seeing you. It was great. Seeing you in person. I know i wanted to say i. Guess i'll just say it on the punt whenever you do the podcast. The numbers double your huge shoot. Would you say there's an oswald bump. There's an oswald bomb. Oh my goodness just wonder meredith. I'm just curious. Look at your last time. Pattern was on bump numbers and then just out of curiosity this one. I just want to know. If i gave it an extra bump or less than the only thing i would do. Strategically is like you just did run funches. It's like when matthew mcconaughey did like nine. Like if i had matthew mcconaughey. I'm going to sit on it for a while because you don't want it to be with all the other math pete holmes man. I like that. We're we're gonna we're using strategically you're not you're that way. Yeah i like that. You're so cool and laid back and easy going and you're my kind of guy. Pete really reels your fun you would love to record it. Oh my god. Don't tease me. Could we do that. Have you ever. Dmz now it'd be funny seriously though. I don't wanna get all like hippy. Conspiracy but do you think maybe a couple of generations from now there will be a scientific. Medical mapping of the effects of hallucinogens. And there will be helpful for in terms of therapy. I ask there but it will become a thing that you can like almost buy over the counter or the doctor will go. You need to take some trips and it will actually help you. I think we're very close to that. And oregon silla sivan is legal for medical use because back in the fifties ronald reagan and cary grant used. Lsd for therapy really back then. It was legal but it was no one knew that it was for tripping. It was used to aid therapy well and they all took. I'm not surprised. Yeah i just took the like less than half of a dose of lsd. And you don't even trip the best. It's micro would so it's a little bit. It's like three times a micro but still three tenths of a full dose and like when people talk about smoking pot and listening to music. I just don't understand like i get bored. Pod gives me that like yeah. This is good but what else is going on like. I get very unpoliceable i was. I was being real cliche. I took thirty five micrograms of lsd. And then i listened to pink. Floyd's the wall which by the way is funny. It's like a funny album. The wall is kinda grim overall. I i always remember. I'd never listened to it people's going. Don't take lsd and listen to dark side. But dr the moon ends on one of the most hopeful upbeat notes even though you go through a lot of darkness and insanity but at the end of the journey. It's you know. Put the song lips by them. Like oh the creatives can still change the word like it ends on such a beautiful hopeful note crime. I think about it dude. I was crying the kind of crap you know when you're crying you know you're crying. I'm crying. I'm talking about like you realize you were crying. After the fact. Like i touch my face. I had been crying and like just listening to the record looking at a tree completely happy and i was like fuck with like little bit of lsd and listening to music is the closest. I've come to really understanding like what people mean when they're like. I love music. Because i'm not one of those people and i was like. Oh i get it. I believe so. We can do that anytime you. I can't imagine you on any sort of psychedelic. i i know but a long long long time ago. I'm afraid what will happen with people that i like. You always if you set the scene correct. Of course it's all that set the scene. Yeah don't don't take on a rooftop and listen to tom. Petty's free fall in with friends right now. That was great. Comedian was great to have some of those bullets. You're the greatest crispy. It's how we end two three cape crispy. You keep it chris.

meredith frazier meredith sounder vallon Jesse thorn tom tom papa pat petula leonard skinny pete holmes ronnie van zandt inco leonard hewer J. h montgomery
SWEETLUCK'S "WHILE GIRLS IN YOGA PANTS , WE DRINK"

Antonio B Jackson Presents Sweetluck's "Bar Fights"

17:21 min | 4 months ago

SWEETLUCK'S "WHILE GIRLS IN YOGA PANTS , WE DRINK"

"Ended the sons. Greek girl stomach permanent roof. Let it will funny funny funny you. Problems with kid does my problems. I'm also probably go. Your sweet loves more fight so combat no holes ball we go in get drunk drink varga talk shit. We do everything everything for around making pain. So them out. We la's barr talk no longer. Sweden bar fight. Sanaa's vodka with wine kush explicit. Very expensive team going go this. Yay you Those ball fight. Sweden's ball fights who Say oh he's having kids off fucking greek girl child with tony stomach. Were funny funny. Funny joke free for re problems with his kids math problems. Calm your father's day. They're not gonna going unless you hate them up. I don't know what the hell was there. He came over there palm. You're gonna make me throw up those ship boy facebook. I'm on facebook with my son's current focus dini komo's shot at. That's it is funny as that's going out here for months every track stuck in a glitch. Don't funny thing about it. He had his down to yoda's do listen really take us then the fucking of your brain bucking on them. But a commission new roof on the free one twenty was doing again that was hilarious national s and low necessarily. Funny i tell you what i got worried. They'd go. yeah glaus that fucking coming fucking crackheads. Go they stay. Said truck the highly you. We've missed still. She's still wanting to know wasn't the today show happened. It was hurting my fucking intestines. Eleven almost do africa's good though skin us. What by glitch though people is everything right. You've been humble everything right. Should you make your home. Miami dangling a personal habit money make money you start seeing a crazy last night love. You wanna get one so it was like you've done many nigga show with and when i lost my job and i was making money you know how all of them and bronco why you think i don't fuck with them for oldham is let your woman. The chills moten doing well see less job with the body scanning everybody everybody in my weight. Bearing credit goals is still monitoring. That's if fultz of yeh. That's why i'm happy. And thank god. My mouth is still took him plenty. People lake popstar mobbed in the morning. Mom died they they. They cry little and that was when they died. They will mona for years because she's the one that that carries you know what i'm saying. How hollywood. I just want to know who broken. No he got. He got the causative boy. That's too bad causing too bad cards. From these years ago. He was going through that his wife and all that said university. Yeah i do. I love that that about guys. I'm telling you the glitchy right now. Anything because he was stupid life. Go just down the street gang truck with gregg yuzu. This thick also was my friend. Almost sound you you glit- forever family loves when i was going through the bucket the bucket hanging out with kids. This kid marquette go well they say barry. John trump my son doing external work in his ship. But in a way money daughter. He's giving money to the daughter every week. You'll get no money every week and the baby was mormon young. You know what me on child support as if you will be on television you know my i told you i told her. I told rate one day i had a problem with. My septic tank. Couldn't get the water gone next to go shower. You got ten minutes. Take a shower. And you've got to ship. He say at the water book. Is this word you go to australia. And you take a shower more than five minutes. They come pick you up. What you say is fun. That's all you can do is take a five minutes now. So pushing stinking. That's crazy. No and very sad to me. Now you take a shower a say you're taking took a show a say your take a shower every day but i don't gotta take a shower. They say you sweat so everybody swings. He he said. But if you don't go take a shower. Then i say you're my also think i say the bitches. The bitches smother focused bench coming up from word specification. Which once madden's amount of money that you spent to focus on and then go to. That situation suspended with coach vallon. That should make me dignam. No no no no no no the gross when they sit down on the toilet hope that ca- small to stench common. That's true strolling has the genes someone massey. I knew and dinner shower when they had the. You don't think that was coming out. I never i wasn't fucking them. I know minutes that fucking yup people looking some sahara. Fuck sometime you get in the elevator originating. Smoke smart smashing out free. That's a method. Eventually you you. You can kiss multiple. You can think they don't smutty states. Mount acid stink pies. And what they do you know what they spent to decide. Tend to decide for can grab smell. That's fucking shit up by this. You need to do got a douche. Every month at madeline talk some of. I'm still waiting for you to to. Once he he journal he wanted is no also Cooling seen him beating kunia a couple of days over. He walked in a green dumpster and demonstrate. I'm going to focus. I'm fucking sue. Speak some wounded. Were really is going on with. He called out tests. coleman forgotten but in call. Now we still this fucking off. Stimulus focus going on with the situation. Marta precedent and and the rest of them are not talking about say that he just you get the vaccination well shit s. The shula goes smile buddy. Much choice say pilot metal did however vaccination.

dini komo Sweden moten fultz Sanaa facebook gregg yuzu glaus John trump barr oldham tony palm la mona Miami coach vallon dignam africa hollywood
Save The Children: Learn how to raise black kids in white spaces

The Parenting Cipher

51:53 min | 8 months ago

Save The Children: Learn how to raise black kids in white spaces

"Love this podcast. Support this show through the cast supporter feature. It's up to you how much you give. And there's no regular commitment. Just click the link in the show description to support now. Why don't you the pani cipher. Where each episode will give you the tools or resources to help. Your child thrive in school in life. Please rate review this podcast. I'd love to hear your feedback. Also hit the subscribe button. So you don't miss any upcoming episode. Hello hello everyone so today. We have the authors of do right by me in valerie in just a little bit about them first of all did good girlfriends good girlfriends and you already. Now support in raising matches. A child but raising. Everyone's child because this book is not just about doctors on gabriel. It is about all our children and catherine holds a doctorate degree in education. And she and her husband are white. Adoptive parents raising a biracial son. In unlike some white parents who subscribe to a color line or post racial ideology katie and her husband confront head on the reality that they would need to equip this son for an experienced far more complex than anything they had experienced in. You hear all about it in his books gets the bomb dot com nail valerie. Is you know the other mother. The community has a law degree in doctrine african american studies. She's an attorney. Educator is served as acting president lincoln university call now first degree granting historically black college or university in the united states and this is val second book her first call color him father stories of love and rediscovering a black man which was published in two thousand sixteen. Now see i wrote this copied then read it to first of all. Everyone know what this book is about katie. Do you wanna start or worse. Well i mean first of all thank you so much for inviting us to participate and sharing us with your community where a huge fan of yours as well. Thank you for this opportunity with really easy for me is to talk about do right by me. Because it's a labor of love. The motivation for the fuck is my son who is now nine years old and if you meet gabriel you will understand how he can have this effect on you today. September i know i hear that too. They're like any virgo excellent so much but he is just as extraordinary as he could be. An as you said mike and i. My husband and i are both white. Gabriel is a beautiful biracial boy who we adopted from birth. And exactly as you said. You know. Mike and i knew early on that we just could not afford to subscribe to a colorblind or post racial ideologies specifically because that was not what was best for our child and we also knew that we had to learn faster than maybe an ordinary pace because it was our job to understand the reality that would be head of our son and to equip him for an experience. That was clearly far more complex than anything we had experienced. And the great gift. One of the many great gifts is that we were not alone in that even before we knew about gave his aunt vavau and i were in frequent and deep conversations about all that would be necessary to parent a child of a different race and knowing on vowel. This was more than her stowing her wisdom to me. It was the beginning of her stowing wisdom into our future family so the process for writing. This book turned out to be more than i could have dreamed. It really was a process of self discovery for both me and my husband and very much about developing relationships. You know jeannie has been pushed back over. The years against transracial adoption. White families are merrily. Adopting black children and so the research emerged. That told us that transracial adoption in and of itself is not harmful to children however black children do best when they have positive racial identity when they feel good about being a member of their racial or ethnic their achievement and their wellbeing actually depend on it so one of the other hand confusion about racial and ethnic identity is linked to behavior problems. It's linked to psychological problems also. We learned that the well-being of black children is tied to their ability to deal with racism so the takeaway for us is. This need to be intentional. About helping children develop positive racial identity and then equipping them with my skills to navigate racism whether the parent is black or white or of any race or ethnicity and so this book shows parents why the skills are necessary. And then how to go about cultivating one of the things. I loved about the book. First of all is like your relationship like when we started. I think like the gaining. It may be been the preface in bow. Ask katya questions at basically like interface lake so when someone comes to you in the ass. You glad you had this child or your child's face was racism. What are you going to say. And i was like ooh jessica friend but And i start to wonder. Started to think to myself like you know. I used to be one of those people who don't know about. Why be adopting black children. Because can you get experience but then the other part for me is. They deserve to have families. The most important thing is family. But as i was reading the book this book speaks to more than like bellsa speeds to more than just a family. Adopting someone who is now their race or bi racial. It speaks to the issues that any parent niece address. Yes raise a company child. Yes i had my favorite chapters in three yards. Three is called too great for hope. Okay and in this chapter katie. Discussing the one thing. That's awesome about this book that is to authors for every time that katie speaking valley speaking. They put their pitchers these characters. They're so cute a you who's speaking. So katie starts talking about discussing social exclusion and she basically also talks about. How discrimination proceed discrimination claes key into adhd add oppositional defiant disorder anxiety and low self esteem. Which when i read it. I was like okay. So this is validation. For what i already thought but when you start talking about social exclusion in you talked about how it is a physical manifestation. Yes yes for. Can you talk about that just for a minute. Imagine not only you are different race. You also have a learning difference in you know. You have a learned difference. So it is an exclusion within the exclusion. That even win. The school is trying to create this inclusive. I said it's so dynamic inclusive relationship with a child who doesn't know how to step into this space. This deal exclude them. And this is wild like can you speak to from it because this is tier in a lot of parents in a lot of educators. Don't understand kids will learn differences. Who are black. It is like a double social exclusion yet. They're dealing with. Yes it kind of takes my breath away too because thinking about everything that you just described we about a very specific experience with gabriel. When he was four. And you know the quote that always resonates with me is we took our son to play soccer for the first time and of the hundred or so people on the field. He was the only child of color. Now that's including coaches parents and so to have your four year old child recognize is in that space in that moment that nobody else looks like kim it is. It's definitely a lot to take in as you pointed out from matt chapter and it's part of why we organized the book. The way that we did that we understood that we had personal stories to share. That could maybe eliminate some of these things. But val and i both. We've gone through a doctoral program and we both work in higher education so we also have the privilege of being regularly engaged with research and science right and people who think about the science and research of these things all the time and we wanted to make that through our stories but also backed by the research to make that more accessible and so when we say there is a science to this and that exclusion has this very real impact on a child. On the way we've described it as that whether you are punched in the stomach or you just do not feel as though you're a part of something it is enough to have this effect on you and it has the effect of real pain physical pain to your body. And that's how it operates inside the body so this isn't just you look around. You don't feel like you fit in. It's bigger than that and that everyone on the field again. We're came on a door four year old child who barely fit in the shin guards. Right everyone on that field went out of their way to try to make gabriel feel connected and you know they just come and play the volunteer father coach. Said i'll hold your hand. Just you know come on out here. Everyone cell over themselves to make him feel connected however the folks on that soccer field didn't have to set out to exclude gabe. Exclusion doesn't need to be practiced in order to be felt. All they have to do is connect with the people that they feel most kinship with like we were talking before right like attracts. Like you're going to be naturally drawn to people who look and feel like you and in predominantly white spaces like that soccer field that day. It is unlikely to be gabriel. So he is going to feel left out again. It's hard to say this as a mother. Because her mike and i it was probably our first sense. It was the first time we ever sell what it must be like to not look like anyone else in a space. We've had our entire lifetime in predominantly white spaces and never noticed so. We really wanted to drive home. The point inclusion is not the absence of exclusion. Is its own practice so known 'cause i'm introducing his book. 'cause i want everyone to go out and get this book so was hustle story based so it's not just kind of book where it's just like with these are a steady. It's a story so it always ties into real life experiences. And when i read the story of him on the soccer field would stood out from me was oh macho. Children probably feel that way in school. And that's something. I can't connect with because i've never been raised in washington d. c. native and i've always been in education spaces with other people color but i was appearance where i had a very strong agency presence of a love history so i knew my history as a black person. I knew all the contributions showing up in a space. That wasn't predominantly black. I was always confident. I never had the space where some of us do to admit some of us. Don't they feel intimidated when they're not in space. So you're an adult and you feel that we had two children feel. And i never actually thought about it until i read your book to read that chapter and is like. Oh wow this is something to reflect on. Yeah i mean. If i can just add to that too again. Part of the research early on this. But i'm vow alluded to it. This is the reason. Why in nineteen seventy two. The national association of black social workers. Were clear on this. They pushed back about black children being adopted by white families and for these two clear reasons one is that they did not believe that white parents had the resources to develop and nurture positive racial identity a child and then part to that they would be equipped to prepare their child for what it would take to survive and thrive in a racist society. Now i understand that even more in this conversation about inclusion and exclusion is that as the white mother to my black sun. It is clear to me that white parents must want to teach and show their child how to develop positive racial identity and how to effectively cope with issues of race and racism. And what we know. Is that weather. The parents are white or black. We know that black children's thrive when their parents do this however as a white parent for over four hundred years in this country. White people have not been expected to acknowledge racism. Let alone consider that. It might have an effect on the life of a black child. So here's part of the challenge in. Is that for mike night to walk onto that field of one hundred white people with our child. We were aware of it. We've observed it but we have no idea what that feels like. And so you're right when you say as a parent okay. I've never had to experience that discomfort. So you not only don't know that it could be having that effect on your child but the other side of that is okay. A child has not yet formed agency. A child has not yet developed the skills and so for some of the adult transracial adoptees. That we've read chad. Gwalior sojourner is one of them you know. He says all the time. If anybody's going to be uncomfortable let it be the adults like right if anybody is going to be tested on their level of comfort and ease feeling of hearts of something feelings belonging. Let the adult deal with. That is not the child in katie and mike went and found a soccer team. That was predominantly black for gabriel. I have to say this had everything to do with aunt vavau because right as soon as as soon as gave said nobody on that looked like me. I immediately needed to process this with vowel dr harrison and she just took it in stride said to me. Well okay. let's get to work. Let's find the space where he will feel that connection that immediate connection in that sense of belonging when things a bunch of things split. I've read the chapter. It was the way that you both worked on. Creating a space for the vulnerability of you and mike to step one of field or step into these we. You are now that minority and be uncomfortable versus gaping uncomfortable. I see her at a black church gene. That's the real comedy talking about. Discomfort rate says but that's the learning that's the lesson someone has to be uncomfortable and they have said we will be the someone inside but yeah you there is. You'll see there's a part that we do talk about that their spaces where you're going to be uncomfortable. Yeah who's gonna be uncomfortable. I like i like the way right right. It's better for the doctor. Beat uncomfortable the child absolutely because you're creating their agency in their awareness of self and you know just a transition you know. Vowel went into her part of this chapter. She started talking about negative image for black children and it was like a combination of white space after aided in the last season and i just like this week we talked about diversity but the way you talked about the social images and how if he's into the self. Hey it's like thoughts that have enrolling in my mind and now with had that one question like my son his little. Everyone knows as he knows. They likes to goes on his tangents. He made a comment. You know where he can't stand. The most is black people who hate other black people when we all look alike and the species in this chapter about how. Why am i turn unveil yell. I am very concerned. You can see from quarterback chapters three about those threat to the development of positive racial identity. Again i'll go back to the mainframe of the book is how critical. It is for parents of black children. Black parents white parents to do everything possible to ensure their children develop positive racial identity and they never feel like they're just a failed effort at being white in katie. Makes the point in the book that if we don't intentionally work on constructing a positive racial identity for black children the culture will create a negative self identity around their blackness for them and so images negative images distorted images are one of the biggest threats to the development and a positive racial identity is so the chapter give you the short version talks about how during slavery jim crow and russian and inferior treatment of black people was any continues to be justified and fuelled by portraying black people as inferior as portraying black people as dangerous as threats and then conveying those images in his many outlets as possible so you portray a group members as savage or dangerous. It's easier to justify savagery and violence against them and it's unbelievable but some in the contemporary media still play a significant role in perpetuating negative images of black people over representing them in stories about crime entirety and under representing them in positive stories about leadership. And so two zavos point. It's more difficult to connect in empathize with people if you can't see their contributions if you can't see their value and so many of the media images also perpetuated myth that behavior like laziness or lack of discipline or immorality and not racism produced disadvantage and poor outcomes for black people in so these negative distorted and imbalanced images create perceptions of blackness that influence a person's behavior toward black people so experiments confirm what we know is that white people are more likely to shoot an unarmed black male than an unarmed white male. In addition to that this goes again back to as point. There's a danger that we internalize these negative images. The research tells us that the more black people ingest negative media images of themselves the lower their self esteem and when a black child sees negative images of themselves. There is a real and substantial risk that they'll copy the behavior and so the negative impact of the distortion is magnified if the black child has little or no real life experiences with black people to provide counter images what are book does is to provide a range of recommendations for helping black children challenge this threat and develop positive racial identity everything from limiting exposure to negative distorted images to saturating black children with posited and balanced images of themselves and so we confront in week counter the negative images with knowledge of black history of black culture of a legacy of resistance and resilience but again the takeaway is to never allow a black child to feel that they are a failed attempted being white but to understand that they have an equally rich and valuable identity net one. Because you had to notice. And i'm going to go to a point that you made earlier katya laugh about it now but the book does open with a question that you pose to katie about transracial adoption. She could not answer that question. Great you hear now you can answer that question with power with authority and with confidence and so part of our message is that this is an evolutionary process. We have to give each other rule to grow into learn to develop. I'm you know nobody comes to this together. Nobody comes to the parenting thing knowing everything to do. But you can see the difference in chapter one and what you here today. But that's because there is some intention around being the kind of parents that we believe is best for game creating a community around him at koch assayed like yard. Both of your relationship is beautiful. Because when you can be honest we do. Tend to for me and my friends always ask them. Do you want me to tell you if you want me. Tell you what you wanna hear relationship to be growing in any way. And i saw that you asked her the question. I for katie law. Thank you and not saying that. Bob was wrong because she was right while sprite. Yup it was the space of when someone asks you something in. You don't know you know you should know you don't have an answer for that in your like that space. That time was on. Ask you something you like. Oh i don't know. I don't know and then you you had to go find an answer and you have a beautiful fran to help you with your discovery and you know with all the things that you go through. I mean you know. The other chapters lease casino picks up with these people if not to give everybody all the tea but we're going to talk too much after one was blackout and blackout was just important me because it touches on the conversation of children with special needs and why they are not diagnosed early. Why lot times. You're kind of like pushed it aside. There isn't any conversation because you don't know what to ask in. This chapter vowed to talks about when she had to go to the hospital concerning her cancer in how she knew between her and katie. They knew how to advocate. They knew words. Because it's not just going into a space seen. I know you can do better. You have had the way that you have to but you know what was scary to us. Unique is the notion that if i took to the emergency room. Let's say i was watching him in. He had a sprained ankle or had a stomach ache if i took him. Or if katie took him the research said that the care that he would get would not be the same as a white child that fructose out the same way when katie read the research. That said my baby actually experiences physical pain from exclusion that she would have never known. Those are the things that we said. Are you kidding me. And so we then had to be intentional about developing strategies to deal with that and so advocacy in healthcare is one. But you're right pushing for testing you know low expectations of teachers of black children. You know we talk about that. Not testing children tracking them in certain ways. Those are the things that as a white parent. You didn't really think about or you think that having a white parent will compensate for that. The research said no the black child even with a white parent is going to be treated differently and that was just eye opening. I think for both of us. It is opening. Because i would have thought an chapter. I was like ooh yes especially between you know sometimes when we talk about ourselves there's a space of can endure when your child is like. Oh no why should my child get less than why would he get less quality of. Es breathe than a wild child in. You don't know to ask why you know. Why is it possible that children in black children with pending status more likely. Go along with it. And i was like. I didn't even think of those things. So this is michael two ladies and going to eleven dc. So i remember. When i was in my twenties and again a car accident for people. Not familiar with dc on georgia avenue. There's a sexual george avenue all having university hospital their school. And i got an accident on georgia avenue and they put me in the ambulance and that kept saying. Don't take me howard. Don't take me how it don't take me remember sitting in a hallway on his gurney with the in my arm. I don't know how long i was there. I was in. i had a cut. It was bleeding. And i literally laid there thinking. I'm going to die because they brought him to hauer. In fact then i used to watch. Er tv shows and fashion. A good place. I these empty and it's going to be aaron. They're gonna die. You'll think like. I know how the character knows. Your mom comes in. She starts advocated from england. Why she leaned here why she's bleeding. Why why why. And after that whenever have to go always take my kids to a certain hospital. I go to hospital. But that's the best spoke to them. She said this is something that i have had to come to an understanding like they said i'm able to advocate. I have friends that are able to help me advocate. And what can i do for everyone. How can i help everyone. When it comes to these issues and i read it and i was like okay but soon as you say what it gave. I was like yes. What if what if my son like. What can i do because that is why a lot of african american children. It's not just in academic spaces and help spaces but when we talk about learning disabilities it's both races. So even if you have a diagnosis most often no one will tell you about the specialists. Sometimes your general practitioners china know Your practitioners trying to handle your child's. Adhd no well and if that is manifesting in the classroom as behavior that is being handled in a disciplinary way versus. This is a child that struggling and need help need support needs resource and again while this may not entirely be a race element. Here's where it is. Eighty percent of the teachers in the united states public. School teachers are white. So when you have white teachers that have had a lifetime of experience of what it's like to be a white person in predominantly white spaces and then they are. The ones to are teaching right. They are the ones that might be the medical provider. They're not only having to undo a lifetime of how they view and interpret things but also were asking them to pivot now and understand how their biases are deeply affecting how they teach how they provide care right. And if you don't have this awareness of what is implicitly. What is happening in how you're thinking treating people. It's not going to be handled in a way that serves the child is not is also. You have to just like how you have to be aware. Everyone needs to be aware in the also. Have to look miami's book like this girl. I am a leader. I love to be in the both you. I have not read academically for a while so for me. Read a book and be highlight crazy and want to read. It is now that is really. It's it's everything that's very very significant. We appreciate that is is not just an academic piece. It is a story it is and that's why we've got your books not my child. That's on my list. Now thank you because you're like to think this is a point that vallon i come back to all the time mike and i talk about this all the time. I would love to believe that. I would be who i am today reading what i'm reading thinking about what i'm thinking. I would love to believe that this process of self discovery and understanding. This would have whether or not. I became the mother to my son. But i don't know that it would have because again is there is something about that relationship. You are compelled to do this work because it's your heart and soul and you know that's the motivator and i'm good with not having question answered because the greatest gift in my life is my son right is gabriel. So i'm okay that yes. I am motivated to do everything that i'm doing for him. But yeah the notion that there's a lot of white people in this country that can keep on doing what they're doing. It's sad but that is our reality in being able to embrace that i think we all have our biases at first i was like i don't know why i don't know i feel like those kids are going to get what they need. But it's a space of nine. Are they going get it. You can be with a black family and nike which you need is about. Where's the space that's going to support the child. The best way that they need possible. And what kind of groups in nestle. i don't know. I'm not gonna act like i remember these different things but there was a park packed. Oh yeah yeah shops because one point of book where we talk about ten his haircut yes and the whole experience is reading book unlike now this whole relationship katie and valla have we have more because i know sometimes appears like no probably biological parents. They may not even be adoptive parents in their china's bi. Racial and i'm like what with your hair. So katie i told katie i said women teller jeannie when we walk in the mall and we see we have this compulsion that we almost wanna snatch the baby comb. We do give give him back. I feel like i don't want to offend like. When i see 'cause i know you don't like this is my theory about people. Camman makes you sociology. My theory both people in when things don't make sense you a story for you to make sense must story always go something like you don't know for you must not have any black friends people color or someone in your life to say here is a hairstylist. Or is how you take care because even as a woman of color. And i had a little more she little during more. I had to do a whole hair thing. Even i know how to take care hair. But i was doing the natural hair thing. Her hair's different texture of mine her his lake early. You know. i'm about a hair every old. He does gaping. that's erik. Thank god he has good here because it could bear me and it just when i read about pat and when i read about the relationship that's one of the things that stood out for me was the possibilities and we hope you got the point you know conversations about race culture can be difficult but we speak in two separate and distinct voices because we wanna also make this point a white or european world view that history the perspective culture body type hair texter voice is just one among many. It's not universal. It's not the standard. It's not entitled to supersede in so we try to make the point that for many white people based on their way of being and seeing things as a universal standard and what we're trying to demonstrate is simply not it is not always the best it may not be the wisest in particular situations so conversations about race in culture can be difficult until years katie and i have learned to disagree in a way. That's not fatal to the relationship because we're committed to keeping the priority the priority and that's our friendship and that gives health and his wealth so you're right while we agree on most things. We disagree on air him so jeannie you know. The deal went a little boy. It gets one or maybe two man you go. You get a haircut professionally. Done right at a barbershop. And it's a ritual. It's a thing right and and the barber shop actually. I am a lot older than my generation. It was actually a place that was much more than a place. Where harris is groomed. It's a place where stories were shared across generations where dreams are developed in and encouraged and in katie's position simply was the game should have more freedom in terms of his hair and while i am part of her village to support her to be a resource at the end of the day. She's his mother and that is her decision but with that being said he she ultimately cut us here so i want at the end of the day genie but it took seven years six years after around his first burke all you ready and she's like nah i'm not gonna do. It was like we. Are we going to do. But it is a process but it has to be one of again of respect and understanding. Lucy's the shock collar when it comes to that we are here to support and to be a village that is part of his nurturing. I totally understand. I think my kids got hit room one and they have the same hair texture as this. So is that wavy curly. You got a little boy and you understand this when kate. You have a little boy. But everyone's like oh. She's so pretty right whenever they said that unlike he doesn't have it's like the hairs hair you know and we cut the hair but what i found about. The barbershop is one because i'm a single mom. So one of my challenges was like we wouldn't go often because they have sensitivities. And you know one of the things that barbershop can bring to your child the conversation that you can have with the barber in he explained to like you have to be consistent since he was like you have to find. He said in every. Barbara's now for them. He was like fine wine that they click with and it was like bringing them like create a schedule. And when i started do that then you know it wasn't a bunch of like resistance around getting haircuts they will tell you real quick is getting too long touching my ear on here. I wanna go the barber shop so it is. It is a culture like the one they have now. He's awesome like he has his own space his video games but the most important part of the is. He gives my boys conversations. Yes yes exactly yano and then is you know one of the mainstays of creating that identity with kids is giving them a voice stopping in listening to them. Like i just wanted things are always tell parents is. Are you listening. Are you stopping. Are you listening. Are you still doing what you wanna do you on your phone. Are you really listening to what they're saying. That gives them a strong sense of identity. Yes and get him voice. And that's what you want to do. Because like you know battle and i were talking before you from a generation where it's like. You're seeing your hurt right that leads to a bunch of insecurities that we have adults even though even our say like people we're creatures of habit you know. Do we really change which changes our awareness of the things that we're doing. That's what changes in the soon as you know. I'm doing it again then. You can stop doing it but one of the things that i've been really keyed into is. Don't tell him to be quiet. Let them talk. I have moments where on cringing as he's talking to people zoom like. Oh my gosh yeah. We don't let them go and that's part of their self identity. You know advocating for themselves ties in the confidence and you always tell how to be. Quiet is literally if it was a foundation. You're taking light blue chips ukraine these cracks for someone else to feel so before we leave to do because i had talked about this education piece. Because i keep lookin' and i'm like oh my goodness 'cause that's what i'm on about education so katie. I didn't get to read the whole story when you look at schools and you're looking at teachers because i have two questions so i was katie. What are you thinking about. Do you have conversations with their teachers. When you see certain things absolutely we do spend some time. We not only dedicated a chapter to talk about education and how as a parent to your primary job to be an advocate for your child in education environment but it also comes up in other chapters as well for all the obvious reasons because of the effect of so many of these things on what are traditionally thought of as academic outcomes right. So we've had a lot of engagement and we talked about this before our session today. What we have found is that we as parents have needed to stay on top of everything and that began with what was the criteria that we were looking for in a school and it just so happened. Gabriel he was to. We started looking for a nursery school. Because they're not children his age in our neighborhood and he's an only child and so that social engagement was really critical so we started looking at schools when he was two which seems crazy to me at the time but what we found was that as we were looking for schools we did decide to go the private independent school route. Because again as we've talked about what was essential was that michael and i could fight for everything. We knew that our child needed to be supported and nurtured and developed and unfortunately we knew we could not afford to risk being one voice in a crowd. We wanted people. We wanted the captive audience. Attention of many lou needed our tuition dollars as well. Right the point of the education chapter was to give parents release photo of some very practical suggestions for being an advocate for your child even to the point if you need to engage in education lawyer to perhaps do that katy challenged the administration at the school to say we are watching each year. The diversity numbers in class if this thing starts to go a different way than we're gonna pull him out of here. We're looking to st. How many teachers of color you have. How many black male teachers you have in the school and sort of holding them to that and so the point of the chapter is one to help. Parents be vigilant around issues of low teacher expectations for example. We know that why teachers have lower expectations for black children but also that black children are disciplined differently than whites behavior that seen in white children as excitable or rambunctious is seen often in black children as threatening and not just among black boys but among black girls. Actually the data tells us that black girls are suspended at higher rates than girls of any other race ethnicity and most boys and so. We want parents to be vigilant around those issues but then again giving very specific suggestions in tools to advocate for curriculum that reflects it accurate black history not one that began in sixteen nineteen on the shores of virginia but that one that helps a black child understand that his or her history begins with the continent of africa as the developers of great civilization. That makes all the difference in how a black child sees themselves. And so those are the things that we try to do with the education chapter. So let me to four a black parent. Who is gonna be devil's advocate and says okay. We'll do that because she can do. That without actually spoke to this in the beginning of the chapter when she said that we see it almost as a privileged pushback. She doesn't know any other way. You know the interesting thing is when katie said to me. Well i wrote this nasty note to the principal look house. She never thought she never thought of another way to do it. There's a chapter about katie. Being in a recreational space a place space engage did not meet the height requirement. And so and the notion that they sit ed. Well he can't ride because he's not tall enough she was going to turn the place out right. And so we talk about the concept of privilege and privilege allows you or motivate you to do things. You wouldn't ordinarily do so. This helped her to see her privilege. Actually more clearly but also sort of manage that in a way not hindered by it right so the concern was you don't want teachers to take out on gabe. The fact that they can't say anything to his mother right until those are some of the strategies that we talk about in the book because it's a balancing act. That's not always clear but two things just to sort of echo. Exactly what vallis thing is number one. Yes vow really drove this point home to me very clearly when she said it may not have ever occurred to you as a white woman to not confront this issue that you're having had on but what you don't have as an awareness of how that blowback will affect your black sun and that took my resume because she's absolute all in how right. It's all in how you do it. It's not to say that you aren't an advocate for your child exact in which you do it. You have to be cognizant of that because there is an impact on your baby that you just didn't anticipate or think exactly. Yeah so. I'm laughing of you. Because i am net hearing you now and i'm a writer so i'll write a letter real quick that i don't know about you vow because i've been my son he says to me. It was real passive aggressive so the massive passive aggressive. So it's like. I want to create a situation where we're working together but at the same time. I want you to be aware that maybe you're not aware of what's going on and how you're treating this point was my daughter how you're treating my daughter because of either i told my is either color or it's the fact that she's you're on scholarship. So you're right. Let's talk about it and being very clear of like you know i do. I don't know if you get this one. Katie but i do this conversation with my daughter is like a follow up to see if there's any pushback but i would ask questions like so. How was your day. Did say something to you or you know what happened in the class. We had a situation where the teacher told my daughter to shut up go. But here's what's interesting about this story. I took it as you're doing it to my daughter because it is a privately white school private school. You're just telling her because she's the person of color in the room. So i kind of really laid it out nicely. But apparently she was telling the kids to shut up. But here's what's really great about this situation. It empowered my daughter in an empowered her and made her gain confidence in herself because what accurate with her is understanding that you can tell me what's going on. We can talk over. And then i will follow through in a way the how would you. The teacher came back and apologized to her in front of the class. Why all of her friends. All of her friends was like clack. Yup i apologize to you. Because she had been telling wasn't just a situation of my daughter she was telling all the girls just shut up but apparently act that conversation. The teacher stop telling all of the kids all the girls to shut up which we all know shut up is like no but right right that advocacy piece. So i want you guys to leave them. Where if you were to give wanted. I've read several chapters but if you have three steps to parents would it be one thing worthy katie uses. This is hard work and so parents have to be intentional about identifying again their biopsies. But also doing the work of recognizing what's going on around them. They have to understand how racism continues to operate in the lives of black children so the colorblind ideology the post. Racial ideology does not serve black children in this time. Well and so our goal is for parents to actually commit to doing the work to learning and understanding. I know that most parents have a general awareness of were. Racism is but what are book tries to move them to the next level of understanding how it continues to operate in the lives of black children and then with that information they are equipped to nurture positive racial identity and to help their children navigate racism so that will be one katie. I'll pass off to you and building off of that. I think it is doing your own work and so doing your own work. It's some self reflection to understand. You know where am i in all of this and chapter to the race history of the united states. Because if you don't understand your history won't understand how it's playing out in our education system in our health care system in our criminal justice system. You know so if you don't know your history you are destined to repeat the same mistakes over and over again and yes we will find ourselves. Dr eddie claude tells us this in his book begin again. We will keep coming back to these crisis points in this country. If we don't look at our history own at take responsibility for it make different choices and so. Do we want to be again where i started just researching for this book and the driver for this book. It meant everything about defining the type of mother that i wanted to be to my son and that has informed everything. Good in who. I'm becoming so that's tip to do your work and i think tip three. I think young people do more of what they see. You do what you say. They should do that. And so we also advocate for adults to leverage their strengths into actually engage in work for racial equity within their particular sphere of influence so that we are raising a generation of young people who understand that their individual achievement is most significant if it translates into progress for the entire group and so our suggestion in our effort is to encourage them to motivate adults to actually engage in the racial equity work where they can where their strengths lie and love it. So of course decipher and it's all about the music. Now all about the music. But that's the part where i enjoy and make everything a little bit. Not as heavy. When you're advocating period you need to have a little bit of pump up so i always ask people. What's the free hip hop song or song in general and say gil scott here and save the children yet so like in a bad way because i love this guy here but i know that when i'm winning play and i was like oh sense i'm an old person so i'm sorry i know you asked me for my favorite hip hop song. I said katie. She no. I'm an old person so you know you hasn't been. My favorite curd may feel gil. Scott heron or marvin gaye. I can do that all day or earth wind and fire tv. Wonder i can do that all day long. So i'm sorry is supposed to be or a song empowers says hip hop on salaries you. Because that's what it's about. It's about the soul mate you play you have to step into a space is about that inspires you when you're doing something like the notes kinda lifts your spirit when you're dealing with things that are always sweet and also takes you back to the good times the most often i pick songs. That's like. Oh that was a great time. It's like they say when you're under stress. This study was done for teenagers. Were believes for everybody over the age of sixteen everybody teenager where they say that when you are having hard times you will find yourself watching. Tv shows that used to watch as a kid. Use it at a certain period of your life because increases your endorphins. It makes you focus my brother. He always says that he said the music that you're you know we're we're jazz heads. Right he said the music that you're hoped on at fourteen or fifteen this music that stays with you forever. So that's why. I want to stay in fire. I said gill and others like that. That's the music that was popular when we were teenagers. and it was uplifting. And so you're right. We always return to it you do you do lake me some. I don't even know who's the broad creek park so in. Dc donald byrne whenever whenever tower at the hospital. Where he whenever. I do talk. Yes and it's like you said we'll do the same thing with the jazz. My dad is a jazz heads in the book. Washington those rare people and have my albums like those are the albums that i chose listen to and those are the songs i listen to the most. So it's not just about hip hop. it's also just about the music but a net note. I wanted to tell you ladies thank you. Thank you shoe much. Thank you gene with step into the cipher and really helping us understand transracial adoption but more than that how we can as a people grow support arcades but at the same time create community with families. It's about race is about the mission in the child. yes and now. We're all in this together and that it's though work that we do together that will move all ford not just the individuals. All it's nasty in our pockets. You know reach out reach out. Don't be scared if you see someone who has a black blackout. Maybe their biological child. Maybe their child started conversations. Yes errol how you. Yes because everybody needs a vow or a katy in lame You know we can't be siloed in our thoughts like i said this was eye opening. I appreciate both coming on the show. I'm glad that your book showed up to my email and it's going to tell you ladies. I don't respond to everybody in the email. Thank you thank you gene well and thank you for inviting us into your community you. We're all better for it. Now thank you so much for listening if this content is delivering value to you please subscribed and go to wherever you. Listen to your podcast. Give us a five star review. That helps us go this community. And that's what we're all about building this community as videos. We came to deliver as much value as we can. The parenting cypher. Podcast is produced by the podcast lingerie production company and the executive producer mastel genie docking until next time. Remember the be patient with yourself and your child.

katie gabriel soccer mike valerie jeannie bellsa katya national association of black aunt vavau dr harrison zavos lincoln university Gabriel gabe vallon united states Gwalior
45: I Don't Like My Kid's Friends. What Do I Do?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting?

24:19 min | Last month

45: I Don't Like My Kid's Friends. What Do I Do?

"This is ask lisa a podcast to help. People understand the psychology of parenting now in the midst of a pandemic psychologists. Dr lisa d'amour author of two new york times bestselling parenting books. Takes your questions. And i'm co host reno nine a journalist and mom of two some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves. Most of the time. I'll be getting answers to your parenting questions. So send your questions to ask. Lisa at dr lisa. D'amour dot com episode. Forty five. I don't like my kids friends. What should i do. Do you remember that feeling when school started when you were a kid and everything depended on whose class you were in and which friends were in your class. I mean that determined so much absolutely and like i'm living it again. I bet in some ways you are too with my elementary school daughter where every fall in other sort of eagerly awaiting the letter about who are teachers and then calling around to all her the though the parents pretty guys have you guys have. Because they're kids you know. She wants class and wants to know they're going to be there. It's huge. It's huge. But you i think a lot about how do i have my kid understand what what makes a good friend. Who's a good friend. I realize my parents didn't really metal much in the friends that i chose. They kind of were happy and didn't intervene. But we got this letter from a mom that got me thinking and it says dear liza. We have three daughters to or teenagers and we also have a tween. We're pleased with so many french choices. They're making however our oldest daughter who was seventeen chooses friends who show her lots of attention but do not provide the most positive peer influence. She struggles with self confidence in social situations even though she's very bright athletic and accomplished. How can we address the confidence issue. And in turn also address her choice of friends. We have one more year before she leaves for college. Thank you for considering my question. What do you think the mom should do interesting. I mean she sounds like she's got this great kid. She does sound like she has a great kid. And i love the way. The mum pose this. Which is this really great kid with low confidence and so she's drawn to a group that shows her a lot of attention you know maybe showers her with affection or interest but there are a little naughty is what it sounds like. You know she says you know. What did you see like poor social choices and so you get the impression that maybe they're in a faster lane than his comfortable for this mama. They're pushing the boundaries of what is acceptable behavior or they're doing risky things and so this mom has so So thoughtfully constructed the problem. Which is i think if my kid felt better about herself she might not hang out with kids. Who do these dicey things. But these kids are good to her and so she's going along with or close friends with kids. Who are doing things that i don't feel good about. So do you think there's a problem with the the kid. Sounds like she's doing well but the mom is sort of like. I don't know that's actually go way to ask this like what's the problem here right. So that i think is how we're going to start to try to pull this apart. So there's different kinds problems that could be happening here and if we can home in on what the problems might be it actually then gives us a way to think about what might be done about it so the first question i would ask is is the daughter uncomfortable about these friendships because especially at seventeen. You're going to need her. Buy in to make any changes and is not clear from the letter. But i think it's the kind of question that apparent would ask first anytime they don't feel good about a kids friends and this this is on the older side. She seventeen but this happens all through development. You know where you're like really that kid. You wanna hang out with that kid. And i think even with younger kids parents can feel like they want to get in and intervene and engineer and try to create distance from a kiddo that they're not so keen on but even with younger kids the question i would have parents ask i is. Does my kid have any reservations about this friendship. And if they don't but you do well so that's interesting. So i think i you wanna look for that possibility where you say to them you know. I'm imagining malik. A younger came. Because i think that's especially when parents can feel very interventionist. You know every time you hang out with. Billy you guys get yourself in trouble. Have you noticed this. You know that kind of question. And i think you could get a couple of different answers. the could be like actually a have no say so. What do you want to do about that right now. This is an ideal situation. Because you've got. The kid is in some conflict about themselves into the. They've got a problem as far as they're concerned which then means they're much more likely to partner with you or take some initiative around trying to fix the problem of you know hanging out with a kid who gets themselves in trouble. That'd be great. It also may be really 'cause like yeah. Whatever billy's lots of fun you know in their kid does not seem to be much conflict about it at all so then let's say you've got that second scenario either with my imagine sort of younger billy fan friendship or this you know seventeen year olds older friendship so say the perez either posed the question or come in knows the kids actually fine with it. You know. the kid feels good enough about this and And it's the parent who's uneasy is apparent. Who's not comfortable Then i think that sets us down a very different path. So what if you reached the point. You know i actually worry about dating to i that i'll feel bad kid at some point that my kids will bring home. Somebody in a wonder that but if your kid is okay with the relationship and doesn't have a problem. Then what do you do who. so then. I think the parent needs to try to figure out what's behind the choice of friends and this man has a theory right that the daughters is low But dow would be where i'd want this to go. Which is okay. The kid is okay with it or says they're okay with it are actually is okay. You know does seem to be completely comfortable with this arrangement whether it's a not ideal. Friendship are not ideal romance but the parent is not okay with it So then the parent needs to think like bull. Why is my kid going with his or putting up with this or drawn to you know this friendship that feels less than ideal and you know so in this particular letter. The mom's view is like the girls. Confidence is low and again even with a younger child but especially with a seventeen year old. I would want the parent to try to raise those questions directly with the child and and i know i say this all the time but i'm just gonna keep saying it again because it seems to me like such a critical principle. All teenagers have two sides. You know they have a impulsive. Less mature sometimes snarky side and they have a philosophical broad-minded. Thoughtful side. And so i would have this mom reach out to her daughter and say you know honey. Help me understand this. You're amazing you are such a neat kid on so many levels and yet my sense is you don't feel that way about yourself and put that out there for the seventeen year olds either respond to or just to chew on. What do you do though. Because it feels like by the teenagers. I would think like by seventeen. It's impossible to change their friendships right. And if you were to be like. I don't like that person when i was seventeen. I think i would have rebelled against that. No absolutely right. I mean and that's what's so hard. Is you know the the piece around putting the question about confidence for the girl between the parent and child like vallon keeps it away from the friends but you know kids no one. We don't like they're very aware of this right so even if a mom or dad is very earnest and saying like cutie. I worry about your confidence. You know kids are working with a lot of contextual information about what's behind anything that comes out of our mouths and so the kid is going to be very well aware of like okay. Mom maybe worried about my confidence but this is about my friends and so then it does mean that. Sometimes it's going to end up either on the table or understood that the parent is uneasy with the friendship. So the first thing i would actually have the parent do is to cop to that because kids know it right i mean i just i mean we really have to work with the assumption that you pretty much can't put anything past kids and you certainly can't put anything past teenagers. So how do you have that conversation. Do you say like okay. I know you're not gonna listen to what i'm about to say but actually do kind of like that set up because i think it's it's on so you might say look. I know this isn't what you wanna hear. But i'm not gonna hide. I think you suspect this. You know i think i would just own that and say look i. Don't i get uneasy about your friendships with this particular. Pack of kids. And i'll tell you why. I think that they are doing things. That are not altogether safe. And i get it that they love you and you love them but i worry about your safety when you're with them and that does seem to be the nugget of the moms concerning that they are doing some things that are pushing the edge and i would put that conflict in front of the teenager and have the teenager respond to it so i would actually own the problem You know and. I think you can imagine a lot of different scenarios of not liking kids friends. You could say you know i I get it that you really like these kids. I don't like the way. I see them acting out in public or i get it that you like these kids but you know. I've seen some of the stuff they put up online and it's really offensive own. It straight out own it straight out. Do you find though because you deal with a ton of teens you know. You see a ton of teens. You've understood this for decades. Do they listen to you when you approach it to them because what. I'm most terrified about the teenagers. Is i have a certain opinion. I know they're going down the wrong path but they're not gonna listen to me because i remember what it was like to be a t o one hundred percent rena. And here's the thing that is Amazing about teenagers. They can actually be having the same questions right. You could have a teenager. Who's like i don't know about these friends. Like i feel like. I'm getting in trouble all the time or they're doing stuff. That feels really risky to me. And then if the parent is like we need to talk about your friends. They seem to be getting in trouble all time. They're doing things risky to meet. The kids can be like they're my friends. I can't believe you these questions. I don't know what you're talking about so we do. You're exactly at the heart of reno like that you know getting into the trenches of this is that if a parent tries to engineer especially teenagers friendships. It is almost certainly going to backfire. Okay so here's what you do to stay out of that problem. Do not have this be a conflict between you and your kid. Have this try to be a conflict between the kid and the kid so the way i would have this mom walk up to this. Problem is to say to her daughter. You know separate from the confidence conversation. Because i think that is something that is underneath this and worth exploring but say to the daughter. Listen i know these your friends. I know you really like him. I also know that it is a priority for you to be safe like you are smart. Level headed kid. And you want to be safe. Tell me how this works. Because i know they get into stuff. That's not safe. How do you navigate this tension between hanging out with that pack and keeping yourself safe like lay it out for me like i wanna know and and make that. Sit with the kid and you're not asking her opinion. Not telling her what to do. Will you are asking her opinion. You know about how she manages. But you're not throwing down. You're not creating an ultimatum. But surface that dilemma. But make it her dilemma. No make it her dilemma. Okay is it ever too late to help your your kid rethink friendship rian before this thing. She's got one year laughed before her kid goes off to college and i'm also thinking about the elementary aged years where my kids are ad. How do you help. Set them up to find and gravitate towards good friends. Well so there's two different questions one is too late and the other is how you set it up. So let's take them one at a time. Okay so on. The too late bluntly honestly i think for this mom. It may be too late for this girl to change friendship groups at least at school you know if these are her school friends. We have to remember all the time that you know. These friendships occur in these vast networks. And webb's these kids are connected in a million ways to shift friendship groups to try to drop. A friend is really really hard. And what i mean by that like you know especially seventh grade so hard and sometimes kids get themselves into dynamics that they don't wanna be in and apparently say like well. Maybe you just hang out with other kids or go goes it. Was somebody else at lunch bucket. Try to remember being a seventh grader. If your seventh grader and you typically stood at a lunch table with this group of kids and then one day you say. I'm no i'm gonna walk in the lunchroom. I'm not gonna sit with the kids. I have sat with all year. I'm going to go sit at that other table right. You might as well drop a bomb right. I mean that is a huge event in the seventh grade so it sounds so good to us to be like you. Just try out other kids. It is usually unrealistic. So what i would say this point in development and even i mean certainly my adolescence and especially when kids are no longer changing classes as much you know. They're not Assigned to grade levels route with their with the same homeroom all year. I think there's just a lot of fodder for conversation about what friendships are working or not a lot of asking kids to navigate the dilemmas. Their friendships put them in And how they feel good about that or don't and then i would say you know like for high school junior senior like this girl is. The parents should probably accept. These are going to be her school friends for the duration of high school and instead turn the focus of conversation to what she's learned about these friendships that she wants to take with her to the next step of her social life. That whatever else i know. This is probably really frustrating for this mom. There's going to be a giant reset button on these friends when they all leave high school. Whatever they do next. And so the kind of conversation i think would be really fruitful is to say would have you learned in terms of what works for you in these friendships would have you learned in terms of what you wish. Were different about your friendships. How can you pursue that. Let's presume she's going to college in college. like what. Are you going to keep an eye out for. What are you going to avoid but to treat it as you know. We're all and growing we all have phases of our lives. We all have chapters in our friendships and to be forward-looking but not have the idea that it's so easy for kids to shift around friendship groups or drop friends when they are all still going to school together every day eating lunch together. Everyday you know assigned a lab groups In science together every day it is not easy just to back out of a bad friendship situation. So but what about the setting up. What do you do about that okay. oh this parents don't have too much say over because so much of it goes down at school and so much of it. Goes down at recess. And what i think. Parents can take comfort in is at the younger ages. There's a lot more fluidity in terms of who kids are friends with you know. Their friendships don't often last the duration of an entire school. Your kids move much more Commonly in and out of friendships over the course of a year. So i like the fact. I mean this all. It's a lot easier. Young kids often talking with us about the kids at school. Who they like and don't like talking with us about what's going on the playground or at recess and so i would really have the parent entertain those questions in those conversations as opportunities to talk about. Who does it feel good to be with. Who does it not feel good to be with. And then the very tricky situation. Who's the is sometimes. It feels great and sometimes it feels awful to be with them right. That's so common that kind of hot and cold kid and an really To ask a lot of questions be really curious and then to continue to stick to the line in the response to say kids. Here's the goal. You wanna find. Kids we're being with them brings out the best in you that when you are with them you are the best version of yourself and so who does that for you. And who when you're with them are you not at your best right. We all have better and worse aspects of our personality. So kiddo my goal gopher you is fine the kids who at bring out the part of yourself that you like most and spend time with them. So that's where we want to offer guidance on the front end. I worry about dedi. I mean kids early elementary school. But what i worry about most is. They're going to bring home somebody. I just can't stand. And i think that goes back to picking good friends right. I mean it does. The only parent who like kid is ten to nine in the mardi worried about this. I bet you're not the only and i actually think you're on the right track. I mean no surprise but like we do know that how people have friendships also dictates how they have romances and a lot of it again comes down to. How do you expect to be treated. How do you expect relationship. Transactions to go down and so kids who are holding their friends to high standards. Hang out with kids who make them feel good. Hang out with kids who bring out the parts of themselves that they take most pride in those kids are more likely to go on into romances that are equitable and kind and kids who get themselves into friendships where they kind of take turns being awful to each other or you know there's kind of a boss and a follower that doesn't necessarily paint a promising picture for the kind of romances. They're going to tolerate because the way we should think about. Romance is like friendship plus kissing so we want kids to have good friendships and i think again. There's nothing you say to a kid about the kind of friendships. You wanna have. You want them to have the doesn't apply to kinda romances. You want them to have like you should be your best. You should feel good about who you are with that person. Those were universals. What do you think really cuts through it particularly with teens about getting them to understand the cost that can come with bad friendships. You know it's interesting. When i think about our friendships i think about these. As the relationships that are optional in we have so many relationships in our lives that are not optional. Like you know the families were born into and the people you know our bosses things like that like we spend a lotta time in relationships that we don't get to choose and so one way to construct conversations around friendships is like hey. This is the great domain of choice. Right this is where you have total say and you know a junior and senior high. School may be like yeah right now. Actually don't have much say. I got these kids in my class. These the i'm friends with my options are limited and that may be true but at broadscale. I think we wanna help. Kids focus on the fact that if they're in a friendship that feels bad. That's on them that they had a choice. Their and the keep having a choice there and we do find ourselves in relationships. That don't feel so good and sometimes we can't get out of them but we want to try to feel good in our relationships and so then we want that to be especially true in the ones where we really do have say so before you go I'd love to get your advice. Lisa on parenting to go the parenting to go for this. One reminds me of something we were talking about last season about when kids are struggling to make friends. But i think that there's a piece here that applies when you don't like kids front and that one of the solutions appearance can help affect even with an older teenager is to try to have new people in that kids traffic pattern to try to create conditions. Where other perhaps in this case better friendships could happen so that for younger kids may be you know after school programming or cool things in the summer for older kids things like volunteer positions and jobs especially jobs that are populated by other teenagers. Things like lifeguarding working an ice cream store. It is so often the case that in the job situation kids meet other teenagers. Who are neat and they enjoy and that can help them start to branch out in their friendships or make better friendships. And they also don't have to dump their school friends. Which is a very hard thing to do but it does help them their social repertoire and put themselves in positions where maybe they're getting a feel for how you really want them to experience friendships as enhancing joyful and really bringing out the best of who your kid is so much to think about on just the friendship of for your kid. It's a big deal is a big deal. You're so right. Thanks so much. Lisa and our episode. Next week we're going to look into how you help a kid who shuts you out. We'll see you next weekly so see next week. Thanks for joining us. Be sure to subscribe to the. Ask lisa podcast. So you get the episodes. Just as soon as they drop and send us your questions to ask. Lisa at dr lisa d'amour dot com and now a word from our lawyers. The advice provided on. This podcast is not constitute or serve as a substitute for professional psychological treatment. Therapy or other types of professional advice or intervention. If you have concerns about your child's wellbeing consult a physician or mental health professional if you're looking for additional resources checkout lisa's website at dr moosa. Damore dot com. We'll see next week.

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Nora McInerny

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

2:15:24 hr | 5 months ago

Nora McInerny

"You walk made it weird with what's happening where does this is a momentous and monumental occasion. This is the first podcast in thirteen months. That is not with val. The friday episodes we record together. Obviously but this is the first guest that i've had back in the in the studio in person. I r l. This is norma mckanie. She actually flew in to see some friends and added this on. And i'm so glad she did and we did it right there on the couch next to the sauna like the old days. And i think you'll hear it's electric. It was so fun to get that feeling of being in the same space. The same room as someone. I've never met but i find very interesting. And man we as i say in the episode. We talk over each other so much. Because that's like the thing you can't do on zoom. You have to like wait for the other person to be done. And we're just we're we're gabbing. Gals were at it. And i'm so excited for you guys to hear. Thank you for tuning in as always for those. That don't know nor mckinney is Co-founder the reluctant co founder of the hot young widows club she's the best selling author of the memoirs. It's okay to laugh. Crying is cool too and no happy endings and is the host of the award winning. Podcast terrible thanks for asking. I sort of jokingly called her the grief lady meaning. She talks a lot. she gave an incredible ted. Talk about grief and incorporating grief into our lives but this chat is actually pretty light. I asked her if she wanted to talk about Deep grief stuff and we didn't really we ended up sweet touch on it but this is a light and fun and you made it weird. And i'm so glad you guys are here if you like the show and you want support it. The best way to do that is to try. One of the pizza picks. I'm so excited to have made in as one of our new pete's picks i just got my made in nonstick frying pam. Every morning. i cook eggs for leila every morning up until recently. I had been making what i call failed flip scrambles. I'm trying to flip my omelette and it doesn't happen I'm so glad maiden has come into the picture. I got there. Nonstick frying pan. not only. is it nonstick in a way that i am deeply comfortable with meaning. It's not harsh chemicals and nasty stuff. I don't want getting into my food. It's beautifully made. It's got a beautiful wait to it. It's incredibly easy to clean and best of all the food tastes amazing and the armlet flipped baby. The omelette flipped it degenerates size. It makes perfect kind of like a thin pancake. Omelette for leila and i flipped at with very little oil which meant it was even healthier and it tasted as Get into a so if you're serious about cooking and so many of us are were heading to farmers markets. We're going to nice grocery stores to get the best ingredients so many of us the the most important part which is good kitchen tools made in cooking cooking made ins cookware and kitchenware products are used by thousands of the world's best shops there in thousands of high end restaurant and now i'm so happy to say they are in my kitchen as well. If quality and craftsmanship is important to you you should definitely check out made in medan cookware. And kitchenware brand that works with renowned chefs and artisans to produce some of the best pots pans knives and even wine glasses maiden produces as i said knives cookware. Anything you need for those who love to cook they source the finest materials and partner with renowned craftsman to make premium keeping schools. Made available directly to you with out. 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We're also brought to us. We're also brought to us by living libations you know were living libations home. I have been mindful for many years. About what i put in my body. Foodwise wasn't being very careful about what i put on my body and of course what we put on our body ends up in our body it absorbs into the skin and so many shaving creams face washes shampoos have stuff in them that is not intended for humans of talking about tuck sec- levels that are linked to disease and chemicals that are not meant for human beings. I was fooled like so many of us. By fancy labels and expensive prices to be honest. I was like it's gotta be good at seventy dollars. This face cream has to be nice. it's french it's not true. These companies don't care about us. Living nations is making Skin-care teeth care baby. Care up to the standard for things that i would and that's how it should be. I started with ginger exploiting scrub which is not only made with plants and oils and extracts. That i recognize as real and natural. But it's also the most bad ass polian. I've ever used in my life. It is ten times. No exaggeration ten times grittier than the stuff i bought. Cbs it's wonderful. I also use their shave. Which is a shaving bomb which is so clean and natural and moisturizing. You can actually use a dab of it as an aftershave. Tried doing now with a blue goo shot from a pressurized. Can i don't recommend best game ever moisturizers my nightly routine both and i use it. It smells great. It feels great. It gets your skin looking great. Activating that glow from within before bad. Whatever your skin needs living libations there's a great way to show your support of the show because they've lots of little things they have lots of big things. Whatever you need fakes body is he even baby care. i promise. Living libations has a premium natural and wonderful product to replace the random chemical nightmare. They sell at seven eleven so good a living libations dot com and use promo code weird for twenty percent off that's living libations dot com promo code weird for twenty percent off last banal lease. It's right here on my desk. Alphabrain by our friends at on it. Alphabrain helps support and focus. It is a new atropine. I swear by the past six seven years. I haven't done a podcast. I have been written script. I haven't done stand up. I haven't gone on a date Honestly i take it on mornings. When i don't have anything to do just because i like to have full and clean clear access to my mind. It is earth grown ingredients. That helps like i said with memory and focus but it's not a stimulant. It's not like caffeine. It doesn't get you jittery. In fact i sometimes take it before bed because it helps me remember my dreams which i think is really really cool. But it's daily cognitive support stuff grown from the earth clinically studied boom. Get it in your body. I have it in my car. I have it in my travel bag. I have my backpack. I have it in the pockets of all of my jackets. That's true there's loose alphabrain in the pockets of all my jackets. Because i'm always taking it. It is such a game changer. I wish i knew about it in college. I'm so glad. I know about it now. I've gotten so many comedians and writer friends on it on it on it. I really did enjoy that. And i really think the best thing for you to do if you're curious to try it if you like it one tenth as much as i like it. You're going to shit your pants so go to on it o. It dot com slash weird. And you'll see a bevy of products there including alphabrain. You'll get ten percent off anything you see on that landing page go to on it dot com slash weird. Do your brain a favor and show your support of this podcast guys. I'm excited for you to hear the real life ping pong and nora mcinerney. It's a really great chat so glad you're here. Hope you enjoy get into turned beds. Let get their looking. That's a computer mouse. Not a road in mouse katie. Can you turn me up in the headphones. Sorry for that candle. I lit a candle back here. Because this is where i saw and i was like. She suffered enough. She suffered enough. I'm going to light a candle and we're off and into the into the grief in grief you had sounds great. How do you sound sound pretty good. This is the candle that i would burn in my trailer for all of crashing. And do you know how smell brings back the most. And it's really freely. Brielle rican me. Because i used to sit in a trailer like park west fourth street in the village and it was really was not very comfortable very different. It's very different from being an l. A. where everything's so like and beauty and also your don't this is so fancy up my fancy but like sitting in a trailer on a street doesn't really happen as much because there's because there's more places to go and set stages and all that stuff so it was very running gun anyway. How are you so tall. The i i know so. I know she's gonna make the joke. 'cause i only really see haircut and you have similar haircut valerie. I was like it's like somebody just out pinched valerie zip and and made nora. Yeah that's funny because my son is about to be twenty and he said i just i can't tell girls apart except for some have short hair and some have long hair and those are the kinds of girls that there are third world by haircuts and there's haircuts and hairdos. Yeah that's understands in grocery like he's like ones with hair. yeah for sure. It's like either kind of hair would be fine. Do you ever worry that when you're dying like you're in hospice or you're very old and you have like some sort of dementia that you might just start calling people the wrong names or worse do you worry about. I fear that. I might call val my ex wife's name i also fear that i i look. Let's not pretend we. All don't have latent prejudice. I'm afraid it might come out in some well because you're on morphine or something. And you're just gonna puerto rican or something like just calling it out in a weird way and everyone's like i didn't even like my example. It's just a race. it's also. I i was when i was. I was worried about this from a young age. Because i was sort of like a dark child and i was worried that if i didn't stop picking my nose as a child then i would get dementia and be the old lady who's picking her nose in a nursing probably will be. I will be because. I've never stopped. It's hilarious we all give them a little satisfaction. I don't wanna dry a fifty percent dry fifty percent wet. If i'm going to be instruction. And i want to obstruct. I'll get obsessed about a nose hair and i will. I have a nosair trimmer. And there's something about it. I've never bush whacked but i have cleaned nose to a one hundred percent rating like if there was a restaurant rating in my nose. It would be an a. It's been checked it out. They've got I also saw a friend of mine in a movie once. And i that and his nose was so harry and he was a little bit younger. I wanted to be like you have to think about that because it looked like it looked like the brush. Genuine teach you about that or it was just something. You notice generous question. You know so much in my life. Do you feel this way so much in my life. I feel like i had to figure out on my own. We're my dad's still doesn't appear to know about the nose hair thing but like my brother taught me how to shave their all these things where i'm like where you're great so much more fun than zoom. We're talking to go region. I would stop while you go. Zoom is the worst people talk. No i think you're mute. That's what we would be saying. Sorry shawn stacked katie. Are you there. Katie's right there. Katie's right there right there and their ideal. I don't if it's tacky to reference old episodes by did. I also have bad for skype and mike. Yeah larry is where the fuck is skype. An they blew it. They blew it. Blew also never heard of zoom amick this is ordering also there's google hangouts there's all these other options facetime facetime. Why did we do zoom. why are we doing. Why do we do anything horrible. What was i watching where i was like. Jesus we just do whatever people are doing like this insurance like roman centurions and we're like it's so barbaric yeah and it's like but they did it. You're just born into a world where that's happening same. It could be said for like different times of slavery in different parts of the warriors. This is what we're doing. This is what we do. And what are we doing now. You know we're doing. Some shit we are we are we are slowly hopefully waking up to sorta but then also we're living in a world where you know and they're adult men who don't on determine their nose that's right that's right. I don't want to go on a league tear. Okay because i'm not even that via let's be honest pandemic pete was very much a pesky -tarian is he needed. He needed he needed. He needed you. Also you needed. He made it. S right sunshine. Pete cucumber for lunch. Indoor pete he wants some sushi. He needs it gluten free until the pandemic's we can't have like four obnoxiously picky children and also me nope as we can't eat white bread and i feel expense pregnant find great great. Well we're the age vallon. I was ten years younger than you. But we're very similar. Meaning lame alert. get that red siren flaring. Because it's a very lame we now don't eat sugar not for vanity not even for weight loss but because we noticed it has a hormone spike. That makes you feel like sadder anxious like four hours later. Sometimes as you before bed cares what dream pitas sleep if sugar and anxiety and endure. Get out it just may. It's so unpleasant. We're now at an age where you're like ice cream. What will it do to date hours. If i don't have eight hours. I am no good. Not friendly not not not creative not fun. I seven bit about that. I said people think i'm friendly to sleeping. You like if everyone was sleeping as much as old. Pd with sleeping and not anymore not anymore. I'm having to say maintained. I faked it until. I make when when the baby was young. Still not sleeping great debate which is why the case usually she'll rock it. She's sleeping in the bed with us. So between four and five. She'll just be kicking me straight in the face i earn. I'll say a. Yep yeah i mean. I'll do that too crowded kicks. How old eight eight. But he'll go to sleep in his own room and and the now he brings his little brother by the hand shakes up which is so cute. 'cause they share a room and i don't care and also hitting falsely better when they're in the bed anyways and like my mom is always trying to catch me that i do it for me. And i'm like i'll concede that point okay. I don't give a fuck. Also she will wake up crying. I'm positive she absolutely will that. All right there. And i'd rather have care and sometimes we love our baby so much. Obviously you get a little snuggle out of it. I'm being attacked by tiny karate monster. And there's little snuggle. Select times. A hand will rest on your hand. Let's not she's affectionate. Yeah but she's discerning So she won't take every yes. I know oh hammered dropped. You don't have to kiss grandma now. Fucking kidding me. You don't have to kiss grandma. That's trauma go kiss your grandma grandpa with knows here. Are you kidding me night. What are we teaching them what you should do shit. Yes why because i told you. We're back to this insurance. Why why are these people. Kill people with lions. Just what we do is just what we do what we do. And we've done it forever and this will be. The first generation was not being forced to kiss. Also grandma would like happily kiss my grandma. I did not want to kiss like came from a family. Both my parents came from families of nine children dabboussy youngest of nine so his brothers were old enough to be his dad. There are twenty two when he was born and his so. My uncles were always but my great his aunts were still alive when i was a kidney. Like we're gonna go visit your aunt. Jean like six hundred years old gene gene. Like hairs also tires your children. So that i am an old lady. I want my child to be like. I am shaving your face. I'm gonna let you sit here. That's knows here. This conversation is not random. No i wanted to tell the guy you gotta try. I didn't it was too much not close. You're not close enough. If we were mildly close you know why. I'm an advice guy. Could you please tell me that. I have a problem. Yes i had a close intervention emily. They're like stopped wearing free shirts from the bank. Yeah and i was like okay okay. Great i didn't know now. Why would i know everyone in my family. Seems to be undiagnosed autistic. I just wear what soft i don't know aren't even soft bank beefy tees. They are beefy tees being fi weight. Cotton there's no softness no is but there is a beef nettie here. That's fair yeah and it's It's it's sort of cotton but it's bad. It's a good teacher. T shirts now soft. That's oh you want try. Cotton blend tribe. You want dry blend. I don't know what the other two i know. Cotton the other two are but they're fucking up cotton real nice. They are hot skype. We're like oh shit. We just didn't know skype. Just didn't know. That's that's what i mean like. Look at the human animal. It just happens and this is what advertising culture is like people who know how to manipulate and the way that we think i was just think about this with the covid vaccine remember in the middle of there was like surveys would go out and it's like maybe it was just on twitter. I forget where it was but it would just be like when the vaccine comes out. Will you a try right away. Be wait and see what happens. Then try it or see not get it and everybody picks me. I picked me. Yeah you don't wanna look like an idiot. You're like wait and see of course you're not gonna gonna wait until you fucking nut gal. I'll wait and see the longitudinal study. And just stay in my home one more year. that's hilarious. Some people are people like it's okay. I mean i'm not here to tell people what to do. But what is the pete that picks the choice. You know what i mean. He's not being honest. With i'm pr- it's a performance alive when people do that the surveys where it's like this or that you pick the one that you think is winning while i mean. I wouldn't personally do that to my kitchen. Feel this is the righteous about yep. We're also want to bring up. Why said the prejudice thing after you told me that your son only seats haircuts. Yes a. because it's a dangling dangling doodle berry nobody cares. But i just want to show that i'm not insane and this is what i was thinking okay. My senior moment. That i'm afraid of is and i'm embarrassed by this but we have to be okay with yes that's going to happen anyway. It's gonna happen anyway. Yeah but has already happened. I don't see Women in movies as vividly as i see men and movies. Because i think. I'm just pretending to be men. Young matt damon definitely a part of me that just thinks i am matt damon. I'm like you mean when i was in jason bourne. I was very good because i'm so hard projecting myself. Yeah i'm going to jump and i'm tom cruise. I do all my own stunts. I don't know if you know that. I'm like seventy i look great. That's what i feel like. I was conditioned to do that. As a man. I i'm not sure I don't know if it's gender specific and the women and this is why it's embarrassing just weren't as important in the nineties. Oh the share. The love interest in wayne's world. I can't do it. I can picture her curly brown hair. I can picture honestly just boobs. Like and i was like that's my hat. Thank you for not shaming me. Because i'm telling you. I'm embarrassed by this but also all comedies. Sure everybody's exception from the nineties and even like the two thousand even into like you know it's it's a do feed dude like earns. The affection of an insanely attractive woman didn't get enough of this. Saint i love it. Those are those are my favorite movie. I mean as a culture to we couldn't and the king of queens. The should come was when the mold cracked. I feel because he was dating. What's her name. This is many leah remini. I want to say renner. But it's remedy leah remini. Who was apparently too many clicks to hotter than kevin james and that's when it became like the consciousness of the whole culture went. Wait a minute. Even though it'd been happening. I will gimmicks i'm going to give you an an exception and i don't want to insult this actress because i actually had a crush on her and i thought she was really beautiful. But i am going to say that Tim allen's wife was in home. Improvement was about right. I can't remember her can't remember her face face. Someone rewatch broom. Not only for jt. Whose photos i tore out of tiger will get val in here because she's jt. Crazy was yeah that a big part of like coming alive as up. Middle school is happening to me. Makes my giant pretty ice club to pretty boy a boy so pretty and i didn't realize i thought i was just going after mark. Paul paul gardner. But i was going after. Jt get hard with the hair choice. Paul gaza was just so beautiful especially with the full blonde. I liked when his roots would show. This is this is a weird. I didn't know what that was. I didn't know your roots were growing out. I just thought it was a cool like punk rock choice. Which is why. Like what billie eilish does which is the reverse. Yeah i like that too. we're growing. There's there's so. I'm so afraid i'm afraid of any group of younger people. I will leave this restaurant right now. I will not stand in line. Chris rock's but i'll just dive into the elevator. Only parts valley. Where my i want you die. You're all doing nineties. 'cause play it's so scary like it's so scary frightened art and their self aware from what i can tell. There's no means. I don't see any me i would run to a me and go. You're clamming aren't you. there's no one. No one's neurons nervous. Maybe they're faking but the evidence of glasses that as a kid you would avoid debate. That man will touch me. That's a bad master. I call them blond moustache glasses. Usually at lenscrafters they're like. Do you have a blond mustache. They check your prescription and your upper lip before they give you those young and val sorry. She said that she loves us. Always said they were transition lenses. But they're always fifty fifty always in the middle. There were like a gray or brown yes like a seventies graphs and for some reason. You can picture the coffee mug that would go with those glasses yes. It's still stained with coffee on the also. It's so gross. But when i when when. I was young when i was the age at. These kids are like the only way to be hot-listing. Not like you had to. It was like. I came of age in like the paris hilton era where it was like. Oh well short tight low tan than you know like too much she also was. Yeah i don't. I don't so. It does not compute for me that you can be like like i find it so fascinating day. This is another one of my weird prejudices. but if you're incredibly and don't get around your beautiful. And i have a weird look like i know this is going a good place if you were ten out of ten culturally which is not ten out of ten. I'm not just saying the guy like paris hilton right. Even like i see gwyneth. Paltrow has like a very beautiful woman if you're that beautiful i'm probably weird baggage. That's gonna make me not trust you or you do surprise me all the time. And you're like oh my god you're like what about your beautiful demon deep interesting. Mundi more mandy moore. She's beautiful and so wonderful. I was like i don't know mandy moore. What year. she's a music. she's music actress. And she's eight ryan adam she married. Oh barf city. And she's married the most lovely man. The guy taylor does from dazs laws. It's it's dawson's creek band and it's it's terrible driving using well as a was hanson. Is it like it's like. Ooh is it k. Pop yeah i'm not knowing k pop k- k pop k pop is so boy over the cape up. It's okay pop in. They're all sort of like you know beautiful and their rain lip gloss and that's what my on teenager because it looks like magic the gathering characters into this is so fascinating like i love the backstreet boys in high school. But i wasn't like writing fan frick about them like hooking up with each other and that's what these kids are doing again. I find it also fascinating. I think it's so cool. Yeah i never voted on it so you also would have never done it. I would like the safest choice. Oh no all this liking anything that sort of like non funky. Yeah like i admire it too. Yeah but i think. I mentioned magic because that was our version of the card game like the weird nerds played magic cards. Those were. I didn't play magic cards as much as i was friends with the kids. That played magic because that was gay. Pop your this is. This is edgy. Also magic. I grew up catholic and i was like just assumed. Magic was dangerous in some way. Oh i don't think. I played it for that reason like i sat near it. D. too many sides on that guy. Yeah and also. It's like acting to participate still nervous that you know what it is. I don't think they're worried about being good. I think they're just trying to have fun if i did it now. Tomorrow i would be so nervous about being like authentic and being right and doing a good voice or something. I'd ruin it for you. Meet mandy moore. Because she listened to my podcast and i go ahead and throw it out. It's called terrible. Thanks for asking and it came out right when this is us. You've maybe you are. Let's not judge you know. Yeah that's right breath. I made the podcast such a good liar. And i don't remember now you are and one of the worst things you say. You seem so happy. Yeah but they did but then you realize like fuck so many people just pretend part just protect just pretending. She was remember that song. It's bad song. No i don't know that slogged fake orgasms clapton missing like just the strangest cultural references know. How old are you thirty eight. Do not tell not just how. Yeah either. I'm either like twenty seven and those are the two readily accessible like. Oh i have to forty two. And i had to go like time. Square like to have a thirty-three with easy to remember forty two is easy year. Remember but i still feel. Although i didn't like i didn't like my twenties now. The worst would not repeat hate to horrible. They say peaking high school. I don't twenties now. Don't be twenties now and twenty twenty. It's fucking shadow. Tell the twenties listening. All i'm saying is it gets better and struggled through its. I thought i was liking. Because i thought that's what life was applebee's and my jeans like arts and not not recognizing women and movies. A woman in a movie have not are there. I wanted to give some exceptions catherine keener such type. That's true how. Yeah that's we're going to get back to many meryl streep obviously who's who's lady tom. Hanks banks is boy meryl streep that's the same person never seen together so many movies together. Don't they don't know either. Maybe we're not. I don't i are week. You and on right now. We might be also just mood. I named my youngest child name. That starts with q so we call him q. and we can't calm q. It you can argue like quincy jones. But he has a shirt that says q. and we live in arizona. It's not gonna you know people like acid startup young now. I don't wanna watch that doc. I started it. It's the only time in my life. That the graphic faded and that said this is disturbing. It contains graphic. And i was like no i. It works it works. You know that worn you always walk right path. There was like. I don't want hate her scenes of riots and like pushing through a barricade and like it's like one five second incident that's very rare and it gets shown shown shown shown. And then you just walk to the grocery store and you're shit could blow up. Any second is out. We're going to do here is exactly what we do. This lines pretty long or is that cue for us. Nice can get comedy. You're not a comedy person. No no weird. Yeah yeah notes of cujo. Now there were. I've never now confused. Lisa kudrow jennifer aniston has memorable in a certain. Yes way yeah her hair. it's her. it's her hair. It's the best hair ever that's hundred percent. I watched the morning show. I was like. I got to see more of it. I just have to see more of like the snow. Your valves riff on the morning. Show now i say this with full love. We have friends on the morning show. I even mark duplan. I told him this because it doesn't everybody says what they're thinking on that show. That's all they do. There's meaning it's fine born. I can't wait to watch the second season but notice that like the crown madman. These are shows where no one says what they're thinking. Yes you have to ensure you have to infer go like oh wait. He's crying in the breakfast because the scene before he saw the photo that made them think of his dad. And that's the satisfaction and this action. The morning show is val after every line she would go. And that's my perspective. And it is the funniest game. I'm hard hitting reporter from indiana and i'm not going to be stopped. And that's my perspective. Well i'm hard nosed executive. And i know how to rein in my talent. And that's exactly what they say they're gonna do. That's why wonderful much soothing. It's it sounds like shitting on now. i'm just fine. I'm telling you how. I enjoy it. And i think billy credit and mark d plus are exceptional. They are also very beautiful. They're also very beautiful. Beautiful attractive because jennifer aniston's one of the people that really broke the culture and for what a haircut haircut so your son and you even said you me we need women to have really clear haircut or distinct haircuts and we want our men to sort of look a little left of center yes. Billing is beautiful but like That's it's the scar. It's this scar the perfume thing. There's always smell a bad smell in the perfume. marci has like i'll just deliver like just. Oh he's i love that. If it was a book. I read it to both do. Pluses are on my bookshelf. I'd read them. I hate to shit on jared leto. But his face is just so down the middle beautiful. That i'm like i've listened to that album but i'm not gonna read. That book. looks like a good record. Yeah yeah and. I think he'd be okay with that. I don't really get to have like a like you have to be like specifically like a certain kind of pretty. I think what like the. I couldn't agree on our cultural thing too and we agree. And then there's some there's just have like a just a woman be like a shithead an unlikable like. That's interesting character right i. I adapted the my first book this. We're getting back to mandy moore. Because in my book it was about my husband spoiler. My husband died of of cancer. And he was like a mandy moore he was. He loves the culture. He loved all pop. Culture live popular call loved it loved. It loved taylor swift kind of before i mean before. Nineteen thousand nine. Okay so right before the transition and she's a great songwriter. She's wonderful fan nuts. That was before. Are we four the worst one though. That's that's you know kind of do agree. I think it's good but it's one of the songs on that album where i'm like alexa next song. I just. i don't like the chorus really. Yeah it's a little too. Do you see how good bridge bridge-builder golden gate ever signing video. Because young people are so funny. They said cancel all Mechanical engineers. Because taylor's the only bridge builder. We need they know what bridges are. I guess the is thirty. Two and i know that true but i never knew it. Engineers were because i thought i was confusing them for train conductors. Well into college. Some people said they were going for engineering. I was like oh. I'm sure i had one of those. Like oh that's you're going to go jujiro train that is funny amtrak Yeah that's weird. Why all those math classes just to go shoot you can go. And building conductors hate pilots because pilots have all the knobs and dials and train conductors. Just have a lever. For what i have and every chain with someone a bus stop. Yeah and then. They have a big lever getting from toy story three or go or stop and the stop. It's not going to stop and time now on an doesn't matter how far you're gonna pull that lever and it's gonna be a lot of sparks and you're like why did they go to call all those science scores as you plow into whatever you thought the lever the from these lines so you're getting too many more. Your first husband loved pop. Glazier mandy moore twice in that book. Fine i never thought. I just never think that if you. I don't know if you write this way. I don't ever think that people don't think about the person reading it if that makes sense until like the editing process and even then it was like inflammation immoral. Never read this. You know like. I know what you mean. I like my family will never be. It's tunes how to read it. But there's a great an lamont quote where she wanted me to write about united or. You should have behaved better. Took her writing class on saturday. She doesn't want a year and it was online but that was fine because just to hear her voice. I do an impression do it. Well i mean what what we miss say. I just walked into my room full of all my trophies. As if you're not gonna go. What are these wars. I don't know if i can do it. I've never done it. i only do it for val. But it's not really. It's just like i like to try and do her essence okay. So sometimes a bath has just. It doesn't sound at all like having bath as what you need. And the waters driving higher as your tensions are getting lower. And isn't that just it's terrible. I hate this. I can't believe how last when i do this. I just it's like. I did have a video with ray. Romano one is doing my impression of him pennies dropped the brits name drops and he goes oh my poor wife his what i sound like. I just had that for me. That is the worst and lamont in. She just did the pot. Yeah it'll be before this one wasn't it lovely to is great. It's so i was almost did my impression of her to her. Can you imagine she would actually love debt. She would've loved it probably because everyone probably kisses her ask. Yeah that's like old romney de up there on the wall. I sometimes call him. Dick just because i know his name was richard conduct just because everybody kissed his mom all the time so it was nice to just be like this. Well you sound like stupid way. You sound like stupid. Off all the talents lovingood roasting from somebody nights. We tell your daughter's old enough to do an impression of you because it's gonna to you. It's so funny it's so funny reporter so good at it and it just. It makes me laugh so hard when a kid does an impression of you. It's more like you're watching yourself doing an impression of you which is a type of masturbation. I tried to do it again. Katie she's on her. I would be to one hundred percent a hundred percent j. watching so cute. That wasn't a scolding kind of please katy at daycare in person. This you have a couple irons in the fire. And i'm going to host now and try and gas mandy moore canadian now. I'm from minnesota. Sorry i beat that out of myself. I just slipped back in. Get a your daughter. Do you wanna big a bag bag now bag. But then also people minnesota say bagel which makes me sale bagel that one. I know okay even as a kid. I was like that's wrong. You're saying that it's not a bad back and bag. It's not a big should be saying big way close so close you're so close to big I want my opener. When i would be minnesota was like i got a whatever sandwich and i said could i have a turkey sandwich or whatever and she'd go. Do you wanna big and i'd go plea use them anymore and then you add something else okay. We're talking about. How did they meet me anymore. Is it and then it came back to me and he came back to mandy moore also smart. She's pretty soon great soul and when you right you don't think the don't put us on. Gas were brought us to. The parents should have made better and also what an said and a writing class was people never recognize themselves. So when you make like you're writing nonfiction or if you're writing fiction and you make sort of like you bring parts at your like they're going to now they're going to now. They've never the people that i've it's right. It was awesome. I loved that. Oh that don't be ashamed. Five righted about have knelt move. Say it again. I've never seen themselves in. Of course not and i'm like that was about yale. I will say that contact me and be like was that me was the person who said this thing to you. And i'm like i forgot you existed. No it was not like it. Wasn't your area so you don't think about people writing right And then that brought a spectrum anymore than i met manager you read the book and i think she's more where you hang. This is how this is how good of a person she is. She had sent me a message. I think on instagram could listen to my podcast and i was like messaging back and forth and then I wouldn't the first year. My podcasters out i got a gracie award and it was the first they did. Were podcast one zero awards. Get my bare countertops. it's fine. yeah it's got. I mean also once you get one then you just always feel bad that you don't ever win another one. Watch frazier go. Thanks deficit rick. I'll only if. I only get into comedians in a car. Then i'll feel like so it's always. It's always got to be something really. It's like this real for real. This is the thing is that you came to my house. I'm talking to a human. Yeah this is a ridiculous gift. In seinfeld seinfeld received an award for something and his whole speech was why. Comedians don't need or one awards. And i was like that's so true so true. That's a good perspective. But i'd also never wanted award since i got the most improved award in volleyball in high school. Which is like. You're bad at sports. That's the awards like you're bad you're still trying to war. You're still on the team. She's still here. Says great you her. A man ag think the akron run first of all the woman who plays zag. We actually think is very very pretty. Think it's so funny because they played a yeah development and it's one of the funniest running jokes of all time and validate probably say her so touched that you said that she her. Oh god so what was. She doesn't thing again with. Manage the pakistanis of the minis and choose it up. Goals man seen jason. Bateman calls are egg. Which is i love. You don't see enough sub-conscious where it's like something gotten third and instead of addressing on the show he would have said the girl who ate the accu say egg offhandedly there's a great one in napoleon dynamite. Where he goes they were looking for nessie placed placed explosives. And you just never see that in movies and tv. Or you don't see it enough. There's a great one in sorry. We're on a taint fantastic. Mr fox is one of my favorite jobs of all time. They steal chickens. It's the first time they go and kill chickens. And they're running home and he says to to badger he goes. I think it's batra goes. We need to stop by the five and dime and get some wax paper and wrap up these chickens so we can tell my wife. I got him at the butcher shop next scene. It's meryl streep here. She is again lady fox. She's opening the chicken strips. The lead street. Wow that many times did not put that together joke. She goes Where'd you get these chickens. And he goes. I stopped at the five diamond. Picked him up. He says the wrong what he says. He got the chickens at the five. It's never addressed. They don't shine a light on it. he doesn't make a face. I watched it ten times before. I even got that. That was a man ag. It's so good the way people talk is just so funny. Just just give us some of that. Manny more longest story ever longest. It's never happened on zoom zoom. People just told stories. And i sat there and we're like God at yep while we're out of time now that it's done and we're gonna make fun of no. I know because it is. It's it's rough. It's really bad it's bad. It's angst over the listeners. Who didn't his bail. No you know. This is the podcast. I know it's it's been. It's been a long too hard for you to listen to imagine ohrid to like make and then for katy lists new nine hundred times jesse cheese. We don't really add it. Yeah katya still listen to me. Fuck up a brooklyn and hard. Also when you have to spell it out be are oh okay. L. my notes because the companies in brooklyn did you can put that together very late again. Another thing whereas brooklyn brooklyn and yes brooklyn. what's yours. oh dot com slash weird. Always or never i can never remember. You need a valuable you. Yours can always be the same. It's always weird. Some people don't want the word terrible. And that's that's i know it's a great. It's very memorable funny. Yeah so weird. Yeah okay so award as much for the rest of the word jacob. It was the first time i did that. I think that well they're just never been a podcast award at the end. I noticed she was nominated to. There was no way. I mean there's so many more. The whole awards is us million lloyd for ladies. Yes yes it's it's it's a women's media awarding. It's here and i was like. Oh i'm going to be at this thing. She was not planning going. But and i was. I work in public radio. They were not sending me. I had to go alone. I would have to sit at a table alone. And she went. Not only did she go. She brought susan colucci watson. She brought chrissy metz she a whole f ing table. So i would have someone to sit with matt. I'm gonna cry and that's why we'll love her forever anymore. New year coming in new. You're gonna be alone. yeah. Because i was like well. I'm going to go this. I don't think over the messages then. She brought people from your table. Said those were famous people you just because they were going to get an award for the show. She didn't have to go to accept it. It was like an award for the show. Came for. You went and did that for me. Mandy moore. I know and eighty. She did a book event with me. And she like brought me to like her People at the fancy salon strike and they all like did my hair and makeup. And i was like get the fuck out that she's just that nice from she's from florida by the way a lot of terrible people in florida a lot of. She's the one. I actually unrelated question because you know what i was trying to do. Their misery misery. I was trying to take away the credit that she should rightfully gap. Yeah there's lots of people what's the ohio. Yeah a lot of people everywhere everywhere. That's people every the secret. That's the that's the thing and they're always pushing over barricades worshiping q. I think based on twitter. Everyone's in q. And i can't be on twitter. I just can't it. Would you open the window to a street. Filled with the people that are on twitter does yelling and listen to them now. It's it's sell bananas. I think about that all the time. Like how easy it is to just. If you didn't know about it it would not affect you and sometimes at the very beginning of like writing a book or let's just people are saying about. Why would you why doctors do room strangers right why. That's why i don't understand and it's a lot of the most famous people i know. Go text me. You're not being interrupted enough to get a fake phone number like kevin hart text me. Yeah excuse me like. You're not on your phone with the other shit enough. You need an app that descends texts from people and the and it breaks my heart that people that are like kevin's going to see this talk. Expensive oh you have to pay sell expensive. Yeah oh that's for money you know you don't pay the person receiving text kevin hart's pay for that app so he's paying. What do you mean he's pay. He's paying to use it at the app i'm thinking of. He's paying to use it like the gas tax room. Kevin hart thing and this is you can text me that that same way him and now you're on his list yes exactly. It's the new email list so he's paying for those like to store that data just so they could talk to ranchos out there just yet another. It's it's another day another way to be like. Oh and we got your area code. We know where you are coming to town now. Now eight studio. I just thought that bad. They were like. I want my phone at dinner. Rodney in fargo. North dakota just said you're not funding. I'm glad i interrupted dinner for that. Yeah that's a twitter is. That's what that's what do it yourself is that. How bad is your dinner that you're doing so bad and do i. I turn the content restrictions back on twitter and facie. Because my my i got the update and it was like you're down seventeen percent and you're two hours a day down in percent i used to be sub our. Yeah that's fucked us up. It did and now. I got my screen time report for last week. Got it yesterday and it said that i was like i was down. Twenty two percent for an average of four hours a day. That is more than one day out of the blessed week that i spend staring at what. What a terrible right with that but also great but you know what fucks up your screen report. A kid stroke gives every time is. It doesn't count. that doesn't really think it does. And counseling cast it counts. Math shouldn't be go on a road trip. And it's like you're on your phone. Eight hours should the fuck up. I just don't have the technology to unlock with my face. You don't know well enough to not count map. Yes they should only be dumped stuff and you should know what the dumpster need an ask either. Strange on listening is probably what do you think he is doing. Always me that Steve jobs in let his kids have ipads. Yep what did he know. What did he do brains like that are not on. I'm sorry pointing daas. But his twitter to scrolling. Rami had a nice teaching where he would go on a retreat. This is in the seventies or eighties gonna treat for like three months. And he's like no newspapers. No back in the day would be radio. Tv news you didn't do any of that stuff is like you'd come out. You think you'd be out of touch. He's like two days. You can read everything you missed but we're getting by the second updates. It's not fucking and they mask it. This is what's so crazy to me. They mask it is being informed. That's a marketing strategy. That's me believing. That kevin hart just wants a text from me do you see. It's it's a bait and switch. It's like don't you want to be informed. Yeah i had a fake conversation with a friend of mine who. I know watches news all day where i'm like okay. So you knew about this situation in this country. Before i did i found out later and i felt those feelings later. What did you do. Did you do anything solved at audit. Did you free tibet. Yes you know what i'm saying. I'm not saying we're all impotent. We can't do anything. But i'm giving to charities and doing other things that i can do and i don't need it constantly going like it's fucking was fucking worst. Yeah it's a little bit better too little bit fucking worse like it's bad. Let's help yeah got it. It's bad let's help. it's bad. The constant updates. Yeah and then even like the stuff that people follow where it's like a thousand good things today. I'm like even that like you don't need as much as you need to like. Go outside like a passing on the sidewalk. You looked eyeballs or just fucking smell of flowers like yeah valid. I on this hike up this hill over here. Every time we do it we go. It's the answer to every problem. I don't understand because there's nature. Their son is fresh air. And there's exercise movement. All you need not hard needs not bilateral moven. That's all you need a little sweat not is what get back in your feeling fine. Because you're a fucking animal. Yes you're a fucking baboon. And that's all boone when it made it you dumb ass. It's not designed to get constant from every corner of the globe. What's going on in place. It'll sound like i don't care about it. But like jesus fuck i think in other countries how they know so much about like there are people who who follow me on instagram. Or listen to the podcast. you'll be like. Oh yeah i heard about like. They'll new gavin newsom as mike. I could not name through a like a governor of any other jay to go under you know what i mean like. It's your governor. I didn't know california. How oh i thought it was schwarzenegger. It wasn't one point. It's still schwarzenegger forever. He's your forever. that's a face that is a face to face. you remember that face. You'll remember with slightly different face. Is he conan no to have that face. Then ask the governor. Yup and coenen can have his. I mean that's just like a giant face right. That's his thing is brian. Yeah giant talk about conan. O'brien how did i know you jump to brian. because i was talking about conan owen. Yes i knew you. Men conan. Because he's conan and conan and conan has a has a big head all comedians do chat out. Shout out to counties okay. So you're a brief person. Do you like tired of talking about that stuff. Yeah we don't have to. We don't have to do. And also i think i am like i. Grief person. I'm have. I m having like an sladek job crisis. I'm thirty eight. My dad was sixty four and died and And i do think you know. I did a tedtalk. It's called like we don't move on from group. We move forward with it. And it's actually a really crazy separatist serendipity holy fuck holy shit so. I didn't tell anybody you're coming on a little embarrassed. I'm just kidding i. I was literally embarrassing one hundred percent. I don't know why. I went for a weird joke there but i'm just saying i don't brought i. Don't tweet right this person's coming on. What if you cancel. Whatever so you're doing it so independent of that two days ago two days ago nora. I got a text. That ted talk and said watch this without. Wow we should be watching these things before bad things happen. Not after bad things happen through and it was my friend descended raynham and didn't know and here you aren't that chat chat chat chat dog chat just a light condo and i think that's like that's the best that i have to say you say i know the i had guests that have trauma or whatever. What do you call i trauma. Yeah i meant. Is that your favorite. What's up casually throughout. I had to watch my husband died like i wonder if there was a word bigger than i even. I didn't think of it that way at the time. And i am i to recline. Is this aggressive now. Like i hurt my. I know we're sleep. We're sleep injury years old now. And it's the i don't wanna take us away from. Yeah i wanna talk about being tired of talking about grief yeah i. We postponed this. Because i needed to get a massage. Because i couldn't move not like i want him assange. I did if you hadn't come here to do. The spot gets in person. I would have cancelled some sort of lying down in europe. That's terrible weird. I've been there. I've gotta do it. I got it my husband's like wow just woke up like i woke up. I can't turn my head and it's a problem. I want to say that just for fun. This is the first time in my life. I've had a pain. It's not a shooting pain. it's not like i hate. Oh move that way. It's a you've activated it and it's going to stay hurting in until you find a rubik's cube neck position that relieves it but it's so it would be like okay okay so not like okay. There's ouchi yeah. It was a whole. It was rough. Yeah it's it's hard. It's hard life is it's very it's very big as hard sleeping heart. I wake and then also did you ever just fall asleep in the car. I mean just like wrenched over like a broken doll are you. Are you like our kids incredibly sore all the time and we just don't know maybe try to read my baby shoulder. She's i yeah. Pardon me i'm invincible. She's talked weird I'm just kidding. Okay so tell me about doing a tedtalk. Yeah was it. Because i'm a public speaker for i. What am i You're burns by trade. Oh god let me get back on my boat filled with barrels of salt. And i had a publicist wants. It was like i want you to do a tedtalk. Yeah and i was like that would scare the shit outta me and what was yours like. They're scared also they have like they have such a good team and then the gang. Yeah ted is like front and center. He's there they they like they. They'd bring you through this entire process. So i just wrote and i wrote like probably fifteen pages and i was like these are all the things. Oh they help that. I have to say they help you. That's interesting because they pulled out that. I've watched some in them like nobody helped with this. I felt that way to also go where the trim member rised mine. you know. there's no teleprompter there's like you have to literally no it and so i don't know if you watch but i didn't know so sorry i wouldn't if i didn't get a nice. It's only fourteen minutes and you can. You can tell like where. I won like lose my mind like where i'm like. I have no idea what i was saying. And what do you mean. I just sort of lost like you know when you're speaking of you're doing some you you memorize a set right and you get up and i also have. Adhd i will just be talking to. What are we talking about water. That happen more jennifer. You think people notice once in one party said i just pronounced a word strangely and as i cannot let that hang there just to address it. I had to address it. Yeah i was like that is so odd. I never it was like when your brain it was like a a brain typo brain type title like bullet typos rain type and more observations from david sedaris. I really wish. I can only be one david. Sedaris can only be one door. Ephron it's such shame it's funny. I've been thinking about your name. She's the best ideas. The birthday bought this old book from like the eighties called the most of nora ephron fucking woman that she named her book the most of like the most the best best the most most is the biggest bookham. That's really good talent so talented. So cool And also like you know. I love i love. I love a revenge. Not like revenge writer. But like i love that heartburn is like just a point dead It's her life. It's the of divorce getting her. Like i was thinking about this recently whereas like everything where you give more rewards more in the arts right. This is going to sound crazy. But like i was thinking about eminem. It's embarrassing. you had eminem. And i was like wow. Everyone knows his daughter's name. Everybody knows his mom. Everybody knows his ex wife and he everybody knows the dark side and he's and he's super successful. Nora ephron is another good example. We all know her pain. We all know that stuff and then it was like except for porn stars. Like i'm not trying to be funny. I think it's so weird. That sex workers literally give the most vulnerability and we're like. Yeah i'll steal your video and the government is like yeah you can still their videos. It's fine like go and try and sell overdubbed copy of tim burton's madman. The fbi is going to get involved there. Just totally ripped off. You can't screen fantastic mr fox. It will it'll gray out yet. I like i listened to. It was called the butterfly effect podcast and they were and they were talking about how they'll make an adult film. Like two days later the whole thing will be online and there's nothing they can do and it's so weird the level of shame that's working that's we'll have murder movies protected. I like john wick. So i'm not putting it down saying john wick will be protected. We don't think that's grotesque but if you we just want our sexuality to be secret were still wearing hats. Belt buckles. Ken our heart. Yeah and we're like another fun. Fact was whenever they have like a christian. And i'm saying this with love. Yeah conference the hotels in the eighties. Yeah the porn ordering would go through the roof because they finally have a chance to look at pornography without their wives. Finding the it is it. Sounds like i'm judging and finger-wagging no it's just saying it's a weird thing but wouldn't it be. What if biden was like you know what we're done with that. Yeah it'd be fucking torch. Yeah if he was like we're gonna get fair pay for sex workers. Yeah but why why. You can't put a video on youtube. That has a song. It'll be rip down but a copy written produced adult film. I could do whatever you want with it. Because there's vaginas in it. And i guess you shouldn't have done that you that's right. Yeah it's the country's mama like weird. Isn't that special kind of mom going. Well i guess you should Had an orgy like put everyone loves it. It has already. I'm not saying that you get that many views on also be like broke. Also that's insane the only thing. We're the only job where you are. Immediately titled star. That's the other now. i forgive me. I heard this on stern. And they said the only other one is country music star. Yes that is true now. Yeah but when. I was growing up. If you played country music star. You're a star and in your porn star. I don't know man. I think as show person i think it's it's pretty fucked up but i'm also not ready to. I was going to do a bit about it. And i was like i'm too. I'll do it on the podcast to be like we should be paying these people but the problem is is the bit is give harrison ford fifty million dollars to pretend to be a dentist. Yeah this woman took to you know. That's the joke. Yeah and. I don't wanna do that joke. That's just another way of laughing. Yeah at sex. Shame and you know what i mean. Yeah it's not helpful. It's like well could just be like and this woman pretended she was really ordering pizza. Gary go but it's the comedy and me goes right for the jugular. And i mean and that's just another way of shaming pretended to enjoy sex with ride. Jeremy yes yes. This one pretended to enjoy sex with a fully shaved. Like i just also find that part so strange. I'm like look like men without anybody. Here's really alarming to me. We'll get ready. i'm not gonna take. That was such a weird thing. You should be allowed. I well i know you mean you know like where it's it's clear that it's been removed lithuanian. Just just just remove poop. I know yeah yeah bear. I don't wanna see like anything. That looks like preparation writes in my nakedness. That's not entirely true with women. There's a double standard there. But i was just thinking about this like one of the reasons. I don't wanna be really really soft and heavy or really really fit is. I don't want people who glance at me to know what i'm up to like you look at. You're like i know what you do every day or you look at a really big person. You're like you probably eating pancakes or whatever Again not that not body shaming. You're saying you're into food. Yeah or you're not at whatever. It's so hard to talk about the stuff. Yeah i love soft people. I'm not. I'm not judging but you do have a sense of them and that's fine. I like to be in the rate. yeah i. Pd wanna cookie you or would you like to go for a walk. Like what are you fucking. You gotta run out of run. But do you want to go faster. No that's gonna incline a low incline walk low impact. Yeah yeah joint friendly. I'm definitely not yet. You're not in danger of like being invited to like join a triathlon team. I tried to get lululemon to sponsor sponsors podcast and inert. Hillary and i reached out to them and they were like they were great by very nice. But they're definitely like a pretty deliberate corporation with a brand that means something and like a lot of people that believe in a mission statement clearly so it's not i i'm just like now. I'm wearing my perfect jeans. I found. I found myself pants. Sponsor i really do. Love them. reached out to them and our business perfect gene the perfect gene dot nyc. Promo code weird. Does i do love them. Val just got a pair. I love it anyway. The point is they were like yeah that we could be in business with you. We only work with people that we bond with basically like we. Don't we only make it harder. Herships after like an excursion and they invited me on like a seven day off road. Motorcycle ride tour to eat grilled meat and like yup like walt. Whitman's y'all y'all like just yelling at the moon by a fire. And i was like i don't think you understand. I wear your clothes inside inside. What a great line incursion. I did we go in and encouraging and well my ego wanted to be like. Oh because that's scary. You come to stand up with me. That's that's that's my way of being special and nobody. I don't invite a bunch of people and go like let's go do seven minutes at the communist. They couldn't do it. So i have an ego there because i know he was like. It's not that hard again sweet as pie. Yup i'm not shitting on the people i was just like. You've misjudged to me. Yeah i can't do news like we have people that have never ridden and they do fine. I'm like you don't understand. you don't understand. cross country. Skiing is to decline for me. That's also there's so much. I've never done it and lived in minnesota. Most of my life. And i was like who needs it. Easiest needs so many things which is all those things. God some people have a day and my pockets are filled with all my things. You want to put me on skis. Yeah i have to have. What do i have hot soup and bandages in a dog. Yeah what am i have. Yeah to anything now for a walk. Go for a walk. The god gave you ski on the skis. Garage is i'm not. I'm not a motorcycle so it's a car that walls. That's so stupid it goes you do that. It's a car without walls. you're open to squirrels. You're open to a broom. A broom the spoke. You're dead you're dead. It's gotta be a metal broom but still it's like a helicopter one bullet to a small like a. What am i basing that on under siege. I think like that's when i was like no no motorbikes basing that on last crusade we're jousts someone off of a flag off of a motorbike. I don't need now now. That's also like those are. These are things for people who are identity hungry. Yes meaning motorcycle. You had a deficit in your identity or you just love that. I'm not saying you don't love it but it definitely is gonna fill you up and now you're a motorcycle guy or hunting hunter guy or your karaoke guy. Or you're the guy with the best costume at a halloween party. I'm like i'm full up. I got anxiety. I have weird dreams. Like i got enough. Yeah i don't also need to write a circus bike year. I am constantly concerned about how i might be perceived. I don't need to add another thing on it fucking brilliant. I don't want another easy target now. He's a motorcycle. Yeah yeah yeah. He rides a motorcycle. Also needs it. Do you think part of this is from being very tall because right away. Don't look right on right on anything on anything crate on any dancing. No word of the crowd. Sarah at sea level were up above like light house on herbal. Who needs it so far. You know who invented that idea that will circle round in one of you will get in the middle and dance so we can all watch you not at all like can i get a cloak tarp. Can i get something to conceal. What is it like blending in. I've never been in a crowd. I've witnessed a crowd marshall the crowd at concerts. I just remember like going with normal sized people and then being like let's go the front and like i can't do that because pugh pocket beeping. That's right they're gonna hate you. The only one that i've that's the only situation where i'm like. This is the best thing the best. And i'll be back in concert. I'll be right back here. Have a great view against the wall where no one will be mean to me the show for the guy or he'll have to lean or there's gonna be a lean. Yeah but i mean that's afterwards. Us have fun. Tax me favorite parts will catch up. We'll we'll recap it just like instantly. So i think that's why i've also been not just motorcycles. Why aren't like another thing because there's already a thing i think my body's thing. Yeah you're right your body's i'd just tall and i'm like being tall was the first and i'm saying this. Not as someone seeking out specialness. Although i clearly am. I'm saying this because people like especially kids will like identity. Yeah the motorcycle. Yeah you wanted identity. Adema motorcycle yeah. You're the tallest in the class. You go well well. Yeah i guess. I'll get that frisbee industry for you. You just want to know who you are. Yes tall is a good one. Yeah it is it is. It is so on your podcast. You don't talk about grief anymore up telling you what a nightmare no. It's really great. It's really hate it. No i don't i don't hate it but doing forty episodes a year of like other peoples like darkest moments is really alive. So do i mean. I am naturally like sort of i make a depressed person. Mammals like i like funny things you know. Don't listen to anything similar to my podcast or watch any sad things. I was watching. I thought i was putting on a mindless denzel washington movie last night. And it's about a serial killer. And i was like what the fuck is. This might need to see someone lifting bag off of a naked corpse with knife wounds. This is my leisure time relaxed. Cartoony will violence where everybody dies and it doesn't seem to hurt anybody and they come back later as another guy. I don't want to naked cadavers. Looking at their wounds. And you have to do that a fucking lot a lot. I have to do that a lot. And i do think a part of it because i started the year after my husband died he had brain cancer and i had. I was unemployed. Because because america's the worst like the terrible place to be sick. It's i hope you has have life insurance like that's the most romantic thing you can do. no of course we were so young like one when he got sick and we'd been dating a year we weren't married like we got married after his brain surgery and that'd be morbid but after you get a brain tumor you can't get life life insurance. Nope you can't do it. I mean you're bad. Bet you talk about how we rip them. Think about how they rip us off. But you don't think enough about how you sort of are ripping you like for. I know things are about to get goofy goofy. We do a riff on the side insurance companies. You don't you. Don't hear enough. Chris rock where he's like if you don't if nothing happens to you shouldn't get your money back. It was like every life insurance policy. I've heard of even i'm talking non vance's they're like my wife gets five million dollars. I'm like you're clerk. Your guy was happening. What are you doing. You hang a lot of life insurance. Yeah we did on. You're gonna die you're gonna die. You should do. You should definitely have it. We do not have that. And we i mean he had good health insurance but it's also like he was working until like the day he died. Basically and i was working until the day. He dies bill just for like life. Yeah like just to keep the lights on. And and then i just stopped going. Because i didn't want yeah. And i just assumed that i would be on. Fm l. a. wasn't family medical. Leave act so if you have a full-time job and you have a baby. You get fmln than they give you six weeks half pay and then you can take six weeks unpaid or three weeks of full or through work or no weeks of no. I took the for fm l. a. No weeks after he died. And so i don't know maybe it was. Maybe someone just forgot to file it. Maybe maybe just went back to where i didn't go. I just stopped going. Because i could not fund. You would've been insane if you went. What was your job. I worked in marketing. I worked agencies. We're supposed to pitch ideas on a new off now. I got a great twitter strategy for our cross fit competitor. I remember these. Yeah i think you don't need to hear this. But i'm not trying to out grief. I'm trying to relate to you. My wife tells me she's having an affair. Yeah this dumdum goes to improv class. Of course i remember all of my scenes. Were about big secrets. Big revelations i i'm not making this up i remember doing a long monologue about being lost in the woods and alone and scared was like too much. Chris gathered was the teacher. I don't think he remembered but like you shouldn't have be. We don't know now as a culture. Yeah the is my church not good at a divorce not good at a death like you don't know what to do so i'm just relating i want people to be okay and we want to be okay for other people too. I talked to somebody who told friend. Of mine's getting divorced does what people do. But you're okay right you're right. You're better off without her outside. It's like she's probably trash people do that for you. Coming right yeah. At least you knew at least you knew at his funeral at. You're young and like you're pretty still so you could find someone else. And i was like here. Maybe things to say my brother said at You're just making me think of the good ones. Because that's terrorism just share and hate. What can you do. Yeah wow. I didn't mind. What can you do and my brother was like. I got it from the sopranos because people always dying on the sopranos. And the just be like. That's so good. It's another way of saying realities in charge. You know what i mean. Yes and we're all even this moment. Where like we like to go around going. Like i wear pants. I have a car. I have plans and i have something coming in the mail so i will be but like all of the good mystical traditions that i like point you back to the reigning of reality and the and the necessary surrender to that of course when it comes to Suffering you kinda have to go to the east my experience to find people absolutely otherwise you just. Otherwise you're against. God was drunk and asleep day. And you're just like we've that it or like that was god's plan cools like god plan for your husband to live and you yet great and he was so kind and funny and like you've had a much better conversation then 'cause he was so funny and on podcasts. Like you never met him but like you can find him on. Twitter is very funny and but also like not jerk about had an you know what i mean like how. Some people are very didn't thank you. Did you get any mean. People feel like the party started because they were there. Just really that one of the things you can say about somebody kind of person kind of person. Yeah a nice legacy. I wonder okay so romney yeah keep seeing his reflection in the sauna. This is the most you made it weird moment. I'm seeing the reflection of round dozen. The window of my son as we were talking about grief about to get into eastern mysticism. We're here katie laughing. This is great right. I mean just being together. It's really nice. It's really nice. I i'd be like. I haven't done a by guest in years but how i have. I ever had a conversation with someone. We're even talking over each other the entire time it's wonderful. That's how i wanna do this. Cannot you dropped out a little. There froze fuck. What a nightmare a nightmare. It was a great way through it. We added a lot better than than most. But i'm glad to be doing this so rami. And please. Don't take this as a leading thing where i really. I really hope you agree with this to deal with people in very traumatic situations and that's one of the things that drew me to him. So two examples. Come to mind. And i'm going give it to you. Yes one is in the movie Fierce grace it's one of the clips. I used to watch on crashing to make myself emotional five to cry in a scene. Glad to know that. Actually because i was always wondering what you do to cry. Yeah yeah. I would watch things to cry paul vet and he said he put a picture of his dead I said that's so judgment is brother died and it stick a photo of his brother on something if you want which was really honest people and vulnerable in a way because i think actors are supposed to just be like i was so in the scene. Yeah i was just thinking about what my character was going through. Paul was like no no my brother because because it's eleven am and we're shooting out of order. It's the first thing we shot or whatever it is. It's just your job to get emotional. Do you have to do so. I would watch this video so it was a young girl. She must be like twenty four and her she. She met someone and got married and they were like planning to do all of these spiritual things going to open a retreat meaning. What i'm really saying subtitles on good person. Yeah like they weren't like evil people they were trying to do things for god. They wanted to do things for the big picture. He's murdered right. I know terrible murdered. I hate it tells around us and she goes. I had a dream and he came to me and my dream. And i was wondering if i could meet somebody else. And he said to me in the dream you'll find somebody else and you'll love them and our love will be a part of that s and runs us just starts bawling. I wanted to. I could cry right meaning. There's one in love that there is one. There is an apparent plus. This is obvious myself. This is this is. that's also my tedtalk. Which is like. I gave my talk after i had already met my current husbands and Like blended a family and people always by the way when people talk to about matthew good guy like right so your first second husband sorry so current husband matthew first husband been erin and there is a guy at you is loving. You know like you talk about. Aaron like you like like is now. I'm like the so low that we assume like any guy who can handle the fact that you love another person is like a good guy by the when no one's ever like wow nor is a good person for marrying like a divorced bankrupt guy who's two inches shorter than her says that about me who just took in like his two older children. If they're you know co-dependency owner chefs. Like what it. What do i get a dowry. You're one of my one of my meals right. It's so strange or that it somehow cheapened or like. You're only this much lavin's of you gift you'd kids it's up to kids. Yes which one's your favorite. Yeah exactly we have four and it depends on the day your body like you know. My mom keeps keeps magnets with all our faces on and she like rearranges them periodically. That's really fun. We had a. Who's in the family dog house antique toy. And you could put someone in the doghouse vaguely. Remember something either in in store like graham bears. that's like ringing a bell. Dad was a permanent resident. And i don't recall ever seeing. Patty probably not probably repeat little time time time in the doghouse. Mommy even had a dog wasn't in the game playing again. You're in her bath was the house. You're funny okay. So we're talking about one love gas. Divide infinity no and that's so perfect and that's like my dad died right before. Aaron died like six weeks before my aaron was sick for three years. My dad i mean he was in vietnam. He was exposed to agent orange sick that we knew of for six months. I think he knew the whole time. I think he just went to the doctor at like the very last moment was like yep and my dad kept making like my debt making these very funny to me jokes like on his literal deathbed being like her mom's match dot com profile is really lacking. You'll never find someone just like buying so funny and my mom's like i don't have one i'm not i'm not going to fall in love so fun. Have one in her to be okay. You know and not necessarily like eight someone at sixty four. Although i hope she does my mom's like a lovely and a babe and But i i remember like making errands overhearing that and erin being like like of course you're gonna like of course you. What and of course you should. And he was like just. Don't marry someone who wears cargo pants because light and don't marry a lame dad and biden's they don't marry a dad and i do recommend dads for anybody out there. I think you should find somebody who is divorced like those great pick for right. You want somebody who's like who has mileage on you. Do you want somebody who say bory somebody who's been around long enough to know that you can disavow yourself those childish ideas that you love one person like wait. I think i'm getting a clear. Image of what love is not what the rock songs and the movies necessarily said like the notebook. I love the notebook. It's a beautiful movie. But i've watched it with three different women and we all loved it. That's exactly that's a hell. What read different hands hands and watching like our senate. His first girlfriend senior junior senior year. They were covert break. Cova got him guys just their senior year of high school they could not survive covid. And it's like. I was just watching him for the first time. Like lead himself apart of himself being known to someone who wasn't like immediate family. I could see how scary that was for him and they could also see how he never wanted to do it again and they could see him almost clamping onto be like is this forever. Like no no statistically speaking. It's what kept out of date. I was just thinking about this. I didn't want to date. I mean i did kind of in high school in college kind. But i was like i. I don't know if i knew this about myself. But i was like. What is the point of dating someone in high school. You're going to break up. Yeah and you could say. It was a romantic. I just think i was very literal. Yeah very black and white and it was like well. I'm in love. And i will be with them forever and also codependent. I'd like to think i've worked on. It have worked on it. I'd like to. I've gotten over that but like if my girlfriend went to a college i would have been that boyfriend. That went to her college and then she would have broken up with me. Let's say yeah i like. It wouldn't have been me. Because i'd be like especially if we had sex like well. I did that. You're allowed to steal movies of it. And they protect total recall dot those so i think i'm ashamed now and now and you're the only person that i can never do that with because i i had the boyfriend for nine years from age. Fifteen to twenty four for that reason we already all this stuff at at least i waited because i was like this well and we fell in love. We should love. We'd do it. And i used up that chap right like i spent that gold coin right on her and depravity model it's depravity model. It's so sad. Yeah and that's what you're getting when people are like. I'm glad someone's picking up that sad suitcase at the airport. The keeps going around the no one wants it. Baggage claim good for matthew that he picked it up for him. Now i'm with you. Yeah mileage just some some wisdom some like my friend. Who's getting divorced. I was like wow good for you. Good yes some humbling emptying Some new beginning sorrow stew in for a little bit. You'll be able to empathize with other people now. Yes because before you thought you were invincible. Maybe you didn't but exception like things happen to other people on your other people and they'll try and and the one love thing i it's a leading question but it seems like you do feel i really love to watch the tedtalk right afterwards. I want me immediately in order to do the same. I i want to go up. Because i do think it's the same thing i think there. How could it not be ruled true. It's like finding something true buddhism and finding it endow azeem true. This truth it is true. Love is love. Yes one thing it ended love. The you guys feel is the limit allen. I feel yeah. We're all borrowing from the same. Well the endless and it's an it's endless and i have to explain that to like you know our our children like i have an eight year old now and he's that's a child i had with aaron and then matthew came to you merge that and then a little like one more piece of organic growth and i and ralph for me an only child to have middle child ralph and sounds like something that would happen to a row was an only child. Noma middle child sucks. It sucks to be route dance. He's gonna listen to this he's gonna lafleur it. Sucks ubi It's choubey ralph can play that whenever something doesn't go your way i'm gonna rip that and put it as his inter music on the podcast. He makes on his ipod touch records. There's a little kid. I just saw invited me to his podcast. But he's he's like twelve and emailed me and he was like do you want to do my podcast and the date was literally like twelve months away year but it was like he was like. Do you want to do my podcast on thursday. Twenty twenty two. It was like buddy buddy. Maybe i don't. I can't tell you tomorrow is not promised. How busy is this kid. He's like are trunk route. That's what i say about first of all to valve. She listens to those one. I say that she's a true town. I don't want but that's my point isn't that point. It's not diminished. Also true talent and val is. The first person i've watched plus but the point the point is still there valid. It's val aid thousand eight. Do you search for validation. there need need it. Let say mentor. I'll listen to this episode. She might validate that conan pocket. Well that's a good example. You can't like this. Podcast and conan's podcast. Yeah you can't you can't you can't. Yeah but that's that's the mentality not just with love with somebody else like has. I don't know it's hard but it's and it's hard to maintain like. I feel like that. Sort of awareness is like peeking through a keyhole and sometimes it shots and i felt that the minute aaron died i was like it all make sense. You know like it was like a very like sort of a very ramdath like where is exactly where we are in the universe a see that we are also connected. I see like there's nothing to be afraid of and like the veil was so thin for two weeks. You know and so tired you know. I stopped asking these questions when people lose a loved one. can it's two leading. And i'm often disappointed. There's no now. Now it was horrible hated at beautify the holy in like i got to tell me everything like i got to live our vows. And that's so incredible. Everybody gets to do that. You know my friend's husband left for work. Kissed her goodbye dance in the kitchen with her and two hours later he hung himself and she didn't get to do like she didn't get to be there and yet she looks at me. And it's like that's worse. I would never wanna have never want to see. It knows i cannot imagine not being there. I can't imagine not. I not to be weird but we talk about we joke. I'm like older than you. So you're probably going to have to work at a mike. I can't wait to not. I can't i. Can't what an honor to be. we want to. We want to share that. Yeah well ritchie roar coming at you. He's like god doesn't count or truth doesn't come to you through any like building or book. It's great levin great suffering and it's often missed but those things that really get you thin strips like you lose you lhasa. Huge piece of your identity as a as someone who these things don't happen to This is what jesus i think is talking about. When he was like blessed are the poor in spirit like the broken people are ready to drop the bullshit of the theater. That were all putting on and they wake up. Even if it's momentarily to this. Why again jesus talks about waiting for the kingdom of heaven waiting for god as if you're waiting for a burglar to break into your house. I'm always quoting that Because it's it's something that you stop all the games and all the facade and you're just focused on this one thing and it's just what are you if what you thought you were gone and then you're zero and as gandhi said if you make yourself zero your powers infinite and you can get connected to everything because what the fuck else are you going to do. I understand that can go the other way. It can be devastating. But i mean i would say like the devastation is in like all those little moments afterwards then realizing like even watching ralph get older and him like he lost a tooth this year rows and one like he just like popped out but it also then he was so sad. He's like my dad won't see me lose a tooth those kinds of things but like when the win it is that when you're so in that moment i do think like the happiest i've ever been in my life. Were in those moments like we're in like the three years between when he got sick and when he died. When we had ralph and we worked we did all these normal people stuff right like we leased a car and we bought a house and we you know we went to work every day and also we were so with each other in these moments because he had to take poison every night to stay alive and we had to go in and get his blood drawn and then he had two brain surgeries and like just. You're always on that knife's edge but sometimes you're aware of it and at that precipice like you do sort of like you are more alive. You're waiting for the burglar breaking ice. Yes that's that's exactly what. I'm trying to say terrence mccann. I was listening to. You can talk and i was like wow. That was a little too callous for today's palate but he was talking about how people would diagnoses. Obviously they're not lucky and he's like an another way. They are lucky. When you know you're gonna die. You have this opportunity for this media than say. I'm quoting him. Please don't feel like i'm being callous. But there is an opportunity. If i were to choose. I would rather that than the than the sudden because i would like to go back slowly. I david nick turn my buddhist teacher. Friend was like it's like being on a raft and you're pushing away from shore and he just keep getting further and further and further and further. and you. You have all this time to go like it's not me it's not me it's okay goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye and you see a lot of people if it's not a spiritual awakening they at least go like. Why is everyone so. Stressed is why eker totally says watched city scenes from the turn of the century. Great pratt so find type. In city seen turn of the century or one thousand nine hundred they color correct them. They time correct them. So it's just people in new york or minnesota wherever walking around there are also worried. They're in a rush none of that matter and none of it in the good way yes. I thought that has a day. Yeah i was like. Am i in the mood to do a podcast buddy. It's just leila leila's it's a dance do it. Just be there and the suffering. I'm not judging round does come when we go. My dad would have seen this. That's the story that we attached to it. I had a friend who lost a child and he was like obviously and by the way grief. Suffering pain in your body morning hugely important. I'm not saying let's be robot people vampires because it's what we do is we're in a story so of course we make a story but it was really interesting. This friend was like my kids. We're just like i guess. That's what happens sometimes. Yes i guess. Sometimes people are here and then they're not here but we go. It's totally again. Makes his point where he's like a fish dies in the ocean. You're just like that's what happens. Yeah but if you name the fish he's very funny because if you if you print out a little piece of paper with the day it was born and its name and the time it was born and it's like that's that's what we do because it's what makes life so fun and i'm all for meaning making but like when you really are zero. You're just like well. That's what happens what happens. What's going to happen to you. you better get. you better. get used to get used to render. Yep right yeah. I mean that's and that's also i mean that's my dad was to like. He's like yup but sounds like like go. Baby that's it and like literally turned off like he in the icu. And they're like well. We're going to transition you to hospice. He was like. I'll go home now. And we got him home and he like gave each of us a chat. My older brother mystics. Who's drinking water in the kitchen. Yeah everyone else. Got a nice little pep. Talk in austin's like what what what about me. What's his name austin really areas like. He missed it. Yes even here in got one see their era and like everybody knew aaron was gonna die like the right side of his body wasn't working anymore and my dad was like it is okay like it's okay and it was so beautiful and then we left and i just knew i knew my mom called i knew and everything was fine and is the story it is saying like like what would my dad's about this honestly. If you were quite you can hear what your dad would say about. Whether or not he's alive. I can hear what aaron would say about. I can already tell when. I'm being a psycho when i'm being jealous person. I'm being petty person. When i'm being just the worst version there isn't is where was he the whole time. He was a story. You were telling yourself so. Where did he even go. I know i understand. But also it's like when byron katie said to me do you even have a father was talking about my father. She was like. Do you even have a father like you have a you have these inputs that you interpret as this thing and that's often what we do. We interpret it wrong for all these things. And if your dad's who you invented that's that's exactly my point and then when you really get into the the oneness of everything ramana mahar she one of my faves says when he was dying he said where could i go. He's like don't be silly. where could i go. My other favorite death quote is from emmanuel. Who was a this is. One of the weird ones but emmanuel is kind of a famous dead person who used to be channeled through this woman who was friends with around us and she told ramdas channeling this weird. I'm done some but he but it's so good you're gonna love it anyway. He goes there like what. What was it like to what. What should people know your dad which he goes. Tell them deaths totally safe. Death is completely safe. That's what brought it to mind. Yeah go it's like taking off a tight shoe is what and here. You are like literally did not feel like like It didn't feel like a departure. It felt like an absorption. It was so wonderful and so beautiful. A raindrop going into the ocean. Exactly and you did lose. That raindrop yes. I cannot reproduce that raindrops gone it has gone and we were never. Yeah and we can be sad about that and we can kind of have buddhist smile and like. That's not only where i'm going. It's where i am right now. Yes that's where i am. Where else could i go. Where else can i go. Try to leave the ocean right. I tried to. I came to all this long. After aaron died and all i had before then was catholicism. Which was just like now. Joins the communion of saying use austin Up the deaf talk. It was so sad dogs to be so bad. It's like i just. I would always leave them off like family chats and he'd be errands tumors back in like. Oh fuck yeah unless you have the text. He's the best one out of all four of us. He's the nicest. He's the kindest and when i made a face about my about my job. I have to say this for my employers sake. But i do think that i've been doing this show for five years because it does remind me of what it's like to be on that edge and otherwise i will lose it and i will get caught up in whatever story and being like well but you know. My guest isn't in the top ten this week. Don't look who cares. Be happy for the people who are listening to and that's what so that's my horizon now. I know that sound the same ramona. Mahar she is not maharaja maharaja around us as grew. I used to confuse them all the time. And it's not my located the photo on the you. The photo of the models are we. There's a lot of things. It's really messy in here His this from costco by the way this was here when we moved in. Oh okay yeah. I don't know where that's i love suffering. It brings me so close to god and the reason. That's fresh my. Because i was talking to my friend noah and i was telling him. I don't know if you heard this episode of the podcast. Th really changed my life is when someone affronts me now. I like to say yes. I get really excited and i go burn down thing. It's like i wanna die now. What does that. It's a little burned match. You didn't get it because of the fun now. A year ago that would tell me what the match me for all of that like. Just burn it all down a burnt out one that smoking i love and i'll wrinkled up. Yeah because burn down your because that's when you learn to alka mi's really someone's like insulted you by the way if you're in an abusive situation about relationship different fuck out what i'm talking about. I'm talking that's what is it. They're suffering there's like. I don't know i can't find the words but there's unnecessary suffering. That's unnecessary suffering is bad relationship. That's just pushing your booze and they're abusive and they're bad. Fuck that shit. That's not what i'm saying is hear me. I won't even call it necessarily suffering unavoidable suffering. Meaning it's going to happen. Pt if i keep pete's ego on epidermis it's going to get hurt and now i've come to love it like tongue a gum wound and someone. Someone calls me had homes and calls my show crashers. I'm just like yes that fragile. It's gotta go toward chip like aaron. Your dad it's gotta go. Everything must go. And i'm practising now so when someone hurts may i go well. That can't be the real thing is the real thing can touch yes. That's i almost started to like look forward to. It's i can be tested again. I've seen absurdly started looking forward to the next. Yes and then my friend was like. That's what my she said. I love suffering. It brings me so close right close to truth because the part of you that's getting butthurt isn't real. It's your own story that you tell about me and as a fancy showman show person. There are so many stories i have. That aren't true. i. I shouldn't by the way i'm not this person. I shouldn't have to wait in line for lunch. Because i have to be back on certain. I don't have that issue. But i could so i have even more opportunities to go fuck in a beautiful way. Yes in a birthday cake. Fuck you i. There's this portrait in my house if we're owns immediate because it's my my grandfather doesn't get enough credit and zoom doesn't get enough credit for this portrait of my dad that my grandfather painted and it looks like people are like. Why do you like walking arizona. Serpico it's seventy s full batches. I looked at the serpico movie box. Last night was out. And i was looking serpico crazy. She's got a mustache. He's got a mustache. It's it's an oil painting. My grandfather wanted to be a painter but the family business was plumbing and his older brother went to medical school. Sound like you got to be the plumber. You gotta be the plumber doctors. You have again a painter. It starts with a p. Get plumbing plumbing gift to wear a smock you you now get splattered with things. Yes all respect to plumbing. All respect plumbing because i mean my by grandfather's story that he was obsessed with was like he was stymied and like he wore that all over himself. He died when i was maybe four or five and he was a dour looking man. Like the frowns were like folded into his skin and he had yet yet to tattoos one of the of the crucifixion in one of the resurrection just like suffering all over his body all over his face and his dad. None of it matters but the painting remains you know like no. Nobody's like well god. If only if only Austin mcnerney. The i could have been painter. You were like nobody. All the videos of people rushing. I just think about this every time. I'm i'm complaining about something or someone is complaining about to make that specifically caters to their specific need for dam. Like someday i'll die. Don't worry something. let me say this a. It's my favorite joke is. I'm going to try. And do it quickly because i do it almost every episode now but jesus says there was a man who built all these silence davel this we will never have another concern in that ninety died. That's funny yes. If you're agricola makes jokes like that and like no one's laughing. Usually people are laughing because their his crowd but they wouldn't be funny to most people just like you call around and you worry and stress and then you die. I'm like that. You bet is the joe so like you're helping me realize and all of these stories of people who've passed or people wanted to be painters and we're suffering scary tattoos. It's like wait. It's it's a dream it's gone. Yeah where is it prove. Prove your yesterday to me. It's gone it's gone it's gone. It's gone and when he realized that app you can just drop the needle on this record and just be here right now. It's wild it's wild. I'm like god what have know i feel. I just feel bad for for their mike. And i hope i'm like well. So how can i not do that. Like how can you should we not. I mean it's every part of the buffalo here we're using this than to. He lived as an example. That's the book of the dow. What is a bad man but a good man's teacher or what is a good man but a batmans teacher. What is a bad man but a good man's job and it's like yeah. Yeah we want everybody to be good people but like we're also here to learn and play experiments and experience. We're not here to be perfect. We're not here to be attornal. And we're also all bad men and goodman. That's right like all at the same time. Like derek delgada book which is wonderful. It's called a moral man but it's all written out with no spaces so it's either a moral man or a immoral immoral. Yeah it's funny. You say those the same a moral meaning. Not moral or immoral. Because everybody's both everybody's both that's right which is still wild and again back to nose hair trimming things. People don't teach you known teaches you how to be a person. I think that's such a shame. Yeah like no one teaches you that my dad did tell me when i was young. Was like you gotta shave. A man's ers. Love is shaping man's ears when he gets older he's gonna your hair as my mom was gently shaving like his cartilage. That is that is like that's love now love. I have a birthmark on my but that you tried to end. I'm trying to tie my shoe with one hand. Don't you are extreme dexterity. You'd are you trying. I out now almost gonna think he's tired shoe now. No she failed. No no oh. My god never seen a tie off with one hand. Wow it ended with your first finger and your thumb kind of doing a split. Longhand that i thought. Was you giving up completing the bow. That was incredible. I'm amazed by myself anyway. Valet put make up on my butt and that's love. Yeah so then. I could do a sex scene with my ex girlfriend who is one of my best friends. Say ex girlfriend to really drive home. The one love thing. Yes yes. By the way. Vallon i we. We've got that going. That's okay to be like what a what a beautiful woman with a handsome man. We're not gonna do anything about it because we're so happy that was. That was a big thing. When i was single i was like. I don't understand why. I would call joe derosa to tell him about some wild amazing Hookup i had. Why does he get that. But you can't tell your partner like when you start dating somebody. You can't tell them that. Fun story jealous. Those are the best story best in show. Get all the good stories all my best story like or i don't know if you do this but everyone's out. There's tiktok like that where it's like remembering all the guys like like remembering the guys who've been whose names. I don't remember all the times that have so like begging the wrong guy to think of is the right girl. Like i'll just have these memories on all my god. Matthew adjust remembered like waking up in a basement in like deep williamsburg and then and then just having that moment where like. I'm clearly supposed to be already gone. Stay just yeah. Yeah i made a whole tv show about that every euro we were running out of those moments. You should have called me. I would have like breaking a table and all those the best up. And that's what i mean. I think i think the clue to life your story. Even of your husband dying is your is. I don't mean to trivialize it. Say it's a great story of service to humanity and embarrassment is of service to humanity suffering is of service to humanity. It's why i don't find superman. That compelling perfect. I know give me with the dead parents gas and just trying to buy it straight to buy it on a sad man going to punch it and maybe if i punch it and buy data come back instead. Parents and better superman's parents are dead. But like who cares. Yeah i mean are died. They're like catastrophe. They're like millions of crypto a little different nameless faceless crowd and you can you tell and he didn't know them you were baby. Yeah you were a baby. And then i wonder if is that in the comic book that like aunt his aunt and uncle who raised him they died too. I don't remember. I don't i didn't think i don't think i got that far into the comics by the way this is the reason i think superheroes always have dead parents. No attachments. ooh yeah for their learning talking. lara's is have a bit about that whereas i that's why they could wear capes because they didn't have dads. It's a good bit but they're learning that everything is passing and it's actually help. It's the gandhi thing. If you make yourself zero powers infinite what is always fucking up. Spider-man's day on may or mary. Jane is last two connections to the earth to story other than that. It'd be invincible. And then the villain is always trying to make him choose between may and nameless people. And that's and that's you have to see the love and everybody but somehow he always saves them both but she really does kind of a gene. Yeah cheap we very close to it. You had to choose the most people. Not just your elderly on the reboot where she's like too hot too hot too hot that no no no no no that sexually confusing for the whole family. Although i guess it makes sense for his age it actually does because. Why would your aunt unless you were in less spiderman. Unless peter parker was like me his dad was the youngest of nine. Then is ons would be grey haired old ladies. That would make sense. When that comic book came out. I feel like all people in their forties. Had full shocks. Everybody was everybody. Who's perpetually sixty you either a teenager or you know like your parents were like in their sixties even when you were at. Yeah we're a teenager which doesn't make any sense because people used to have kids when they were very young which means they should have been based young shouldn't hot young parents but instead they were immediately so take that marisa. Tomei that's correct. Yes she's correct. We're wrong we are wrong but we're growing we're going to stop sex shaming for attractive commerce shaming plummer shaming. Done a lot of okay. We're we're both done after this we're done we've done we've done enough. Were done enough service for the world. The gift has been given k. I meant we were cancelled but yeah i like jack. You're welcome which. I mean mary oliver. When i met matthew it was like a year after erin died and i was just coming apart and some of her first dates were him coming to my house while i sat on the floor and read. Have you read. Felicity mary oliver's collection poems after losing her like life partner. So beautiful good saab and it was just like read them out loud right. Is that what love is and he was like. Yeah well i'll talk you. Yeah like shovel your walk and leave. That sounds that sounds great. Yeah that's it. And so it's like i don't think matthews special or he shouldn't be special. That's what i should say. You shouldn't be special. that's how it should be. You should be able to like meet a person. Oh this is owen. you're married. Oc no love is only love is not great i want. I want all of that. Like i didn't meet matthew and be near divorce and you're never gonna say her name again right like which i kind of what a lot of them are supposed to my. I had somebody Very close to me in my family. I didn't know they were divorced. Until i was twenty. Four bananas about my my uncle. I didn't really just put it together. I was like well. He's was shame. Yeah shay him and when he divorce his wife which was way. Before i was born my grandparents were like well. We pick her because you left her so she's an. I never knew even that he was my brother. Who's this guy again like. Yeah isn't that bananas. It's so bunkers and i'd love to see like matteo's photos of like i put up photos of like the kids when they were babies in our house because i'm like yeah this is you deserve to have all this as a part of your life. All events like not a exactly an adoption. It's sort of an adoption. Just say people who adopt are like the frontline of understanding that love is love. You know what. I mean like lapping us. Yes category and it's and children just naturally do like they naturally do that. Ian was fourteen and ralph was to and ralph was like like oh is going to be my is in my brother now is the and my brother and ends like an eighth grader. Playing varsity soccer like a cool dude and he'd like pick up this little toddler and walk him over to the benjamin. This little brother like here is this is just so so wonderful and so sweet and i love to see them often but we moved houses and i went through all the boxes of stuff. And there's photos of like matthew with his first wife and things did not end well with them. But i'm like oh look at. Here's yarn you're young and you're happy and someone loved you and i love that. Someone loved that version of you. I do wanna give a shoutout. There are people who you can't do this with you can't do with everyone. Meaning i dated a woman who really taught me how to be jealous and was jealous. And then she'd have almost like jealousy traps like pictures of her ex boyfriend's up on the wall and at first they didn't bother me. Because i was like more young and open and fine and then like as i was inducted into the toxic kind of nastiness of their sub levels of the relationship. I it made me feel unsafe because i learned. She doesn't trust me way too. I guess i shouldn't trust firm. Can you take this photo down. So i just wanna say like yes. It shouldn't be something we force but hopefully you can be in a relationship. That's open enough on other more fundamental levels that can then lead to the fruit of. I don't mind finding a photo of your ex husband point out. I mean there. Don't jump there you don't then don't do and you can honor that but don't fake it don't fake like with with value. Feel so safe in a million ways that you then go like. I'm so happy to someone loved you. Don can't jump. They're not there. When i when i met erin he had just broken up with his girl his only other girlfriend besides me and they were together for ten years and she is so beautiful. She looks like mandy moore. But she's six two so already. She's taller than me mormon. She's got maybe more than more mandy way. More for more and many more is like sort of felt like she's like five nine tall where my kids like. Yeah yeah call me when you're five eleven and maybe i don't know who's that no that's canadian. Cute face canadian canadian red. I love canadian. We were so close. Who has it These google so close. It's right here. Call me maybe. Yup it's miley. Cyrus know carly rae jepsen. We work grow for your records on now that groper that's another three namer louisa may alcott the. That's yes sir. Corinne bailey ray. Three it is oh see. That's how quickly the person carly rae. Jepsen corinne bailey. Rae grin bailey. Rae jepsen yes is wrote. Every song groping. If you ever catch me listening to that song. I'm having a having. It only goes on after great connecting with somebody. Taj things are turning around. Oh my god you're listening to that song though if you wanna borrow money. Yeah that's the time to write rolling down sunset windows down volume up. That is the time to be like. I have an idea like that you getting. You're gonna love your records on mike. I see the theme song. This song mini mart. Oh so katie was so beautiful and it was so jealous immediately. I was so jealous. I was like. Oh but you've already like an. It's her and she She's all the things that i wasn't right like she was good at volleyball. College volleyball not improved. Just as good award you got a scholarship to play sport. It wasn't good at your taller than me. Like a tiny little now is like a little baby knows. That's my dad's nose description. Ten police i would say tall blonde lanky known that to mean one link new limbs. Good teeth right similarly. Yeah you've it's the evidence of orthodontia is what you're seeing. Yeah i wanted. I didn't psychopaths anyway. You didn't have a pacifier. Oh yeah no me. Neither nipper better not for two nips. That's all i wanted. No fake nip couldn't get was. Yeah i was an entrepreneur at heart. I was a real. I'm not gonna to fake chicken hundred milk or better milk or better. Thank you guided ups momma cow. My mom had someone in you have to do. They lactate all three. I doubt it maybe. Jk science is gonna need the boom land the nipple. She gets the awesome. Yeah it's slumming is the boob. Yes 'cause water in the milk. Is the water back to my plumber. Grandpa and his doctor brother could've told you that they were same work. They were the same. They were doing the same thing he was doing. The plumbing of like the inner gastro system. Yeah okay so and you should have been jealous. Because she had a little knows. Yeah so jealous of her and then aaron diagnose like oh like as he was dying even get katie here. Katie should be katie. Should take to. She is like she's got all these you that i'll never have and that'll and i'm so glad someone has that you know gotree breath that jewell album pieces of you so you could honestly that was a formative part of middle school for me. I was like wow music. I'm sorry. I just need to buy a cd. And again. i think jules lovely but she was lovely in a left of center way. And i was like this tom about yeah. It was not not the teeth i shouldn't imperfect teeth teeth had something to do with it Yeah you're right. I think if she had perfect teeth with. I'll just be like what a babe. Yeah but i'm like but we like shape because she's she's haji mighty teeth. Yeah guess he's interesting. He's interesting because you're like well. Artistic look at those. Obviously obviously we do not have artistic deep like you look at us. And you're yeah. I dunno drive me to the airport admob. Driving to the airport. I will pick up from my pleasure. Absolute happily text back link to uber with no other one time a friend of mine in job in this. They were writing on a tv show. Asked me for pick up at the airport. And i said Staff writer still makes six grand a week. It was a while ago. I was less. I was loving. Okay let's get outta here. Yes no is it. It's a little piece of pieces of you. Yeah that's ashlee. Simpson that's jewel. The album is called pieces of you pieces of me. That's the actually simpson an etf. That tongue recess b es cell underrated. That was a great great album. She gets swallowed by that. Snl thing also. It was nepotism. I mean you know like yuck yeah some little bit a little bit. But she had a great. I love reality. Tv and they love old mtv reality tv in her reality. Show is absolutely yeah. It was about her making her almost perfect marketing because to launch album. They showed you making her album. And that and the the single was the opener for the show and so you already predisposed album. You see what their because you saw her. And she was paired with ryan cabrera. Who was like her boyfriend. But i don't know. I think he had a song called. Wow brera of the ryan. Cabrera ryan's that type of spaghetti. Cabrera's the sauce of the ryan. Cabrera i don't want don't tell me ryan cabrera's. I'm trying to remember this ad things. I could sing that whole song. Ryan cabrera right. He had one song. Gimme gimme a little on the way on the way. And i and you save me from myself. And i won't forget the ways you somethin'. I almost who i know. This is a save me fae from mma. That was him ma in san montano opponents. Tom potato cheers. I know that's yeah any at the really spiky hair it was just a mosey now hooker. He was i think. Just a plucked from obscurity of florida cam. Just going almost probably shit sugar was probably not dissimilar am gonna be an old town and they didn't have a spot for him and so there were like this is find. We could do it forever instead instead you you will leave my home. Thank you go no. I'm loving it. And i feel good when my dad wanted people to leave you. Just start vacuuming. I love that. I always wanted to make t shirt that says. Don't talk to me before my coffee and then underneath in parentheses that says i don't drink coffee to mean for grad and not mean enough for jessica can't give it to them. What is you know this question. That's coming the hardest time. You've laughed time. You've laugh the hardest. I'll guide it doesn't matter i'm going to give you a few problems okay. Someone fell You were still we got. I got so many times therein. But i've never i the entire time with him. I never stopped laughing including like when he was dying he was still so funny so wonderful but before we knew that he had i feel like joking is from the same place of we all die. It's like an admission and it's an acknowledgment of like this is insane. We should be silly so we should laugh. Right is oh of course. He was funny when he's funny and like so as soon as he got his chemo pills. He'd be like gonna take my chemo gratiot or like he'd like greasy like she. Can you take my pills. Can you take makino pills. Take my songs easier pills. It's bills bills bills by destiny's child try to stay with okay all the single ladies that's beyond to ten years before But he was like going under anesthesia for like his first brain surgery in the nurse was like i mean inner sixty is probably white hair only could be and aunt to a soup. An aunt aunt of some sort end she was like oh and you have to be totally naked under your garden. Like she's like so you know if you need just like do you need me of you. Like he's like noritake mercer this lady getting alabama. Dick mom was there is a professional beaumont. Serious like cancer moment. I don't need this lady up on my never. say that. Certainly not in front of like his mom or an older woman and the talks given zero sweet sweet anesthesia coursing through your veins. And like just cloudy to ignore someone's saw into your brain and and like this lady. I enjoyed it. Not at all at a truly was like i. I could die right now. This is so perfect so good so good. Also sometimes i mean we let an she probably says staff right. That you're like whoa. What is that and so funny and you leave So you don't laugh at our little like make make i don't make. He gets embarrassed if you laugh at his jokes. Oh my kids. Don't laugh at me. And the other night. I did give him. Like a dandruff shampoo kids mr gross trusted peanut butter like washing his hair and he was like. I don't like when you wash my hair. 'cause you don't even understand me and i had to leave the room so funny. It's like four. I don't what do you mean. i don't understand. You said deadlier he says the i i'll die. He goes back to. I like when she swats my hand away from her and stuff like that for you. You could do better. I'm like this. Is the first thing i can figure out about that. She doesn't want me. Always touching some people might. Yeah i could a reassuring hand when she's playing with new friends. She's like fucking. I don't need this guy. Anywhere near my. It was just like all gave to take your shorts off in front of your mom and old lady. So yeah and you did it. I did giggling. I did it while giggling. Okay just one of the best one central fair central central experience. Well let's get out of here nor thank you for having me. Thanks for doing the first for his in person or you made it weird of twenty twenty one. Twenty twenty one. It's been over a like a couch. That's great good. People have a deep seated. Love dare you giving burn it down. Burn it down with you. Keep it crispy. You were delightful. Thank thank you thank you keep it. Crispy don't marry t some criminal getting perfect. I'd absolutely need approval. I will say a standalone. You want like five takes or give me okay keep it crispy take to keep it crispy ooh right keep it crispy definitely the third one third one thank you thank you crispy spain.

mandy moore skype leila norma mckanie hot young widows club pete nora mcinerney leah remini valerie tarian Pete cucumber Katie vallon dementia matt damon katie
We Made It Weird #53

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

1:04:55 hr | Last month

We Made It Weird #53

"You walk made it weird with the whole what's up. What's happening but what what what's happening. Where that give me one clean one. What no clean clean one. what's happening. Where does little louder kind of spiked a little bit. What's happening weirdos. So too uncertain. What's happening where does do audible. What's happening weirdos. So while what's your what's happening audio book audio book. Tanah did for sure. Hey do you wanna come see me. New stand up valerie Saying well if you guys aren't like valerie you can come see me september ninth. Let's the only data. I have anybody. Oh ship today fudge john. Lucky let me tell you when the next one is october seventh living at largo. Thank you for catching that. I didn't know what day it was actually am coming to see. You do stand up tonight. You're coming yeah or just tell you weren't gonna come. I was bummed. I meet you there. But i'm thumb it okay and then. The next one is october seventh. And they're always great and largo dash. La dot com for tickets. This is it weird. I'm assuming some people who haven't been listening to this. Podcast might be listening to this one. Because chris martin was a big. And this is the friday episode where vallon i Jets so ballots. My wife that's me vow and it's always. I mean not to say. Chris martin again but he prefers the friday episodes chris martin. I think it's good enough for whoever god. You are the devil we as you probably know. We don't do traditional sponsors on this show. If you wanna support the show why not try one of the things that we actually use and actually love. We call pete's picks So these aren't as random products. These are things that we actually use love. So if you want to support the show ship show try one lake ritual ritual multivitamins. How i start my day every day. We deserve to know what we're putting in our bodies and why especially when it comes to something we take every day and rituals clean. 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Three which is so important to your immune system and ritual fills in those gaps with no shady extras. Plus you'll always know what nutrients you're taking in where they come from. Thanks to their ritual. One of a kind visible supply chain now available for women. Men and teens ritual multivitamins are scientifically developed to help support the different stages of life. Your multivitamins are delivered to your door. Every month with free shipping and it's very minimal. Free shipping always. You can start snooze or cancel your subscription anytime and if you don't love ritual within your first month they'll refund your first order so get key nutrients without the bs. Ritual is offering weirdos ten percent off during your first three months visit ritual dot com slash. We aren't to start your ritual today. Also i believe. Chris made fun of me for wearing me on these show kind of us just asking if he were wearing. That's true. yeah. And he almost showed us his underwear. Do you remember that. Do i remember that okay. Kiddies ticket feeds leave pulling mine up and you do not seem titillated at all. Mine are you've seen too much deep. Santa red is what i'm wearing. Hey me andy's it's fall. Y'all time to replace your water and take with pumpkin spice. Lot is and go out of your way to step on crunchy ass leaf because the coziness time of year is here. So find your comfort and undies lounge. Wear and more with me andeans. Thank you val really brought the energy down because gandhi's believes that comfort is more about about more than what's touching your skin. It's about feeling comfortable in your skin. And i heard about me on these completely true you'll know Because it's not that interesting we heard about me on another podcast and i looked at my underwear. It was not making me happy. It was not fitting perfectly was not super soft. It did not have fun patterns and we just did a complete overhaul for both of us hundred percent mendis and after i loved it so much i reached out and said you wanna be on our podcast because we can tell people we actually use them and let them and they said yeah and here. We are. imagine if you if you haven't tried them the softest thing you've ever felt now imagine that same thing but on you but you now thinking about me and is there designed by the country's top softness scientists to be the softest thing you've ever worn softness scientist. I think you are if you spoon me. At night. You are period from undies lounge wear their fabrics are breathable. Light almost irresistibly cozy really. You might not be able to stop lounging on the couch. You've been warned available in sizes extra small through four xl. I always like to point out. I get three xl. Because i have a forty ways. And i got three x others. Just how. I like him in a variety of classic colors and iconic prints. Meoni's will have your back and your butt off all along and he's a great offer for our listeners. For any first time purchasers you get fifteen percent off and free shipping me. And he's also has a problem free philosophy if you're not satisfied with any product for any reason that refunder exchanged no caveats no questions a dada to get fifteen percent off your first order free shipping and one hundred percents of inspection guarantee go to me undies dot com slash. We are and show your support of this show dot com slash. Weei idea last but not least. I was having a particularly stressful day. And it's so nice to know that. I have a plant based ally for when i just can't get in front of myself. I'm a little blocked not feeling joyful. I'm not feeling like i'm not laughing. Levity that comes up in this podcast inside of me and cbd has been an incredible help in my life. I loved that it is not a pharmaceutical i love. It is from the earth and ned and company is a purveyor of great great quality. Cb it is so high quality cd in fact they don't even flavor it with a little bit of mcat oil. So that's all it is Cbd an mcat oil. The taste is super clean. I often take it at night. Tell me wind down. But i also take it during the day to help me ease into flow with what i'm trying to focus on really helps me drop anchor into the moment and surrender into what i'm trying to get done. So it kind of you can have it both ways unwinding the end of the day or lean into your productivity time during the daylight hours Net is incredibly serious about where they get their ham. It's not one hundred and fifty acres of gmo corn and a small patch of of of hemp. They find incredible dedicated. Farmers that are playing the plants music better recycling worm beds and getting the soil everything that it needs to get these plans in into prime condition before it goes into your body grown in call rod. I find it mood elevating. I find it stress reducing. I've always called my happy juice. It doesn't get you stone. Some people think it's like marijuana. It's not it doesn't get you stoned or high or take you out of the game. You can work on it. Focus on it but it's also a great way to relax at the end of the day and as a sober person. I find that incredibly helpful so go to. Hello ned dot com slash weird or enter weird at checkout for fifteen fifteen percent off your first one time purchase and twenty percent off your first subscription order and show support of the show again that has hello ned dot com slash or enter at checkout for fifteen percent off your first set one time purchase or twenty percent off your first subscription and. Show your support of this show. All right everybody. I love this chat. As always i feel better at the end of it Then i even did. At the beginning. I felt pretty great at the beginning. Right so get into. It is only two three four cheesy. Yeah she's a landon squeezy. One of the things that makes me one of the that makes me sad is that we sing silly sohn's and then literally two hours later you can be like. What was that chocolate cheesy. She's lemon squeezy song. Yeah and it's gone and now we have it recorded. Well that's what i'm saying. The song that pete was struggling She record in squeezy. It's not bad it's not. it's not okay. it's not bad okay. I don't. I don't know why we have inferred implied and then i inferred people do that yes. You implied. in inferred. Oh yeah i thought you were saying. Don't you hate it when people get it wrong hilarious. I do tend to be very hard when people get things wrong. Yeah didn't you say something wrong the other day and then corrected you and i felt really bad. It's like on ted lhasa where he says wonder kid like. It's wonder canned which is unfair because german. Jim that's not even our language it is the ancestor of our language open. That can listen to this. I can't open it. I'll do it has are very moist is near the thing i like that i was saying it was a it was a choice with. Oh my god isn't epiphany. I feel like comedy is mistakes on purpose. A lot of time is you're like i'm not accidentally saying sizzling but like picture like i'm an maybe i'm an immigrant. Maybe somebody that doesn't speak english as their first language and i go a open Open butcha in. Of course they're seizing. I pour it putting cup. You would kind of suppress a laugh. Yeah because i accidentally said but if i'm a comedian. I'm like you open that. You open that sweet boot. Yeah this saber. That sitting this is it'd be like oh my god. He's he's making choices as the same thing. It's like he. I mean it's kind of like you say icky sticky nikki in one of your bits sticky. Nikki's things like that's not a thing that's not a phrase either is any who's always. Oh i know. I love that one i really adopted you say it. I think we need. I really needed any. Who's a whistle. it sounds so whimsical. it's like a dr seuss. what it is. It's like a way of checking in and saying like okay. I'm going to move on What is it saying. we're moving on. I heard what you said. It was sort of inconsequential. But i'm not dismissing it. It's because you usually say it when or you maybe started saying it when you would like be saying something deep and like heavy or whatever and then you're like anyway which is when it's the funniest because you just started you were just talking about like consciousness and whatever and then you don't own any any who's a loser it's well that then in that case it's a reminder that you're like don't worry we can still be silly. I'm back to come back to earth. This is coming up a lot. Because i went on a wonderful otaru treats. It was like a girls weekend to joshua tree a couple week. Guess last weekend and And it was just like by the nature of the women who were all there. It was like very spiritual. And i had my nine sort of any graham nine for first-time listeners. Welcome to the podcast. Glad you enjoyed chris. Martin this is. The friday edition is doing used to it. We talk about the any graham vows a nine. I'm a three even though richard things. I definitely don't think i'm a seven seven. Four richard rohr and endearing. That's why it's confusing. That's right but nines love comfort. So i was really feeling my and i get this when i go on actual spiritual retreats like a real resistance to just go in and deep diving and i get this kind of like not bradey but like a little bit of like a petulant like like. I'm not going to go deep. Like i don't say the standing the retreat in my mind the f- for the first like few like the first twenty four hours of any sort of spiritual retreat. I get this very strong sense of like. You can't make me go deep. I'm not gonna go. let's see. I remember that feeling going on every youth retreat because it would be like a friday to a sunday which is really just two nights. It's friday you just get there. Have one worship service and basically go to bed saturday and then you leave sunday. Ask really quick retreat. That's great but by saturday night. That like service that we would have. We would be on fire for the lord. Oh wow and friday night. I would be like now. There's just gonna be me and my buddies farting in pringles cans and stuff. I think i felt that we to. I went to a christian summer camp fourteen years in a row but it was five days. That's too many years in a row for literally anything. Yes that's way too. Many retraining must underestimate how much that's shaped me because that's a lot of time spence and it was that documentary. Jesus camp i hate is our unity was like that. Well i was. I was at that extreme. Because i related to some of jesus camp but we didn't have. We weren't like holding up fetuses and now and that we weren't doing that but retailer eyeing night. Well the sim that i repented for every retrieved was levity. I hate that slee levity. There's one verse in the new testament that references. And i don't even say this with any. I'm not like that bitter about it. Just in case anyone listening is wondering how mad dad is on the drive. Disneyland everything's fine. I'm very fine. i'm very fine grape juice. Do you remember very fun now. Those new england juice company great icon iconography like it would be a very minimalist apple cut in half white bottle. Thank mary mater. It was very modern and it was the eighty s when we were like. We're like all the colors. All the shapes mets right and they were like no and we're very fine There's a great. I just decided to start saying jolly good based on the the crown jolly good is great. You're allowed to say it's how was it was jolly good fun. What's wrong with that. Why do i have to be british to say that. I say daft daft your daft i call it a lorry. I contract laurie. The left bobby. If you go up joke. Excuse me bobby. They'll still help you. Yes you if you're polite. And if their name. Is bobby your double d your double decked double dipping you double dipping than the dickens icky sticky nikki anyway. What i was saying was there's one verse in the new testament that specifically says course joe course joking or something and we. I mean because we were always clowning around. I mean doing tumbles barrel work balloon animals. Daryl work saying like clowns like a rodeo clown would hide in a barrel. We were always looking for like kind of wanting ways to be like. Well that's my sin. And i would confess matvey. Okay here's what's redeeming it for me. I still don't love it. Especially like levity is is truly the A word that i use in like intention setting yet as a great afford love levy live. Oh love it. It's called a adultery live. that's a sin. Yeah furious ness live. Nobody wants seriousness. That's just ted talks. Yeah yeah. I really think levity is such a virtue. You're saying that what makes me feel better about is like i love that you're late. You're digging in there and what you find is like well. I'm a little. I'm pretty playful. And that's your your demon. Yeah but we were scams to. I want you to go. You're saying when you went out yet your girls. We really yes. yes so. I was just noticing that resistance. To like i wanna be comfortable. I don't wanna go deep. I don't you know and i've been processing that. And then of course you know. Once i felt safe after i had been there for like twenty four hours i my heart started opening and ended up being this beautiful retreat. But we made me think of it was we. Were talking about the where we were talking about the value of both things. Oh any any. Who's lucile zell like just playing with both energies of like being very deep but also having levity and it resulted in lease ohs our dear friend and one of the women i was. I was josh which with gave both of us a really nice compliment. Which was the that you. And i balance that really well. We will go really deep in like the next breath is used to just make a fart. Sound right yeah And and then. I talked more about it in therapy and you know it. It's just been coming up a lot that we need to have both energies to feel really grounded and playful and lights and have comforts and also know when to explore our edge. Yeah but i'm realizing age. The comfort informs the ability to explore the edge riley being silly and safe and feeling secure and attached literally like attached to the earth attached to your identity. Family your city. Even all these things that i can papu as tribalism or ego and one of the greatest paradox examples of this is the more. I'm sort of plugged into my work. Which which i would be. The first to say is not the big picture But that informs my psychology and when my psychology is at rest then. I feel free to sort of sandra bullock gravity into the into the abyss. Like i'm not attached to the ship. But excuse me but i am attached the ship. I'm tethered to my self. And then i feel safe to explore the outer reaches of like what is going on here but that is one of the weird. It's one of the reasons. I'm in a really good mood today. It's leila's first day of preschool. We literally dropped her off this morning. We can go into more about that. And i really especially. I would love if leila listens to this podcast when she's in her teen years or twenty s and wants to know what her parents were really like or whatever it might be i. I'd like to tell her. She can always have this as a resource. I only say that. Not as a narcissist but as someone who would have liked to listen to what my parents were like out in their thirties and forties What all that is to say. A where i okay. Shit on a ship I can't remember anything you've said before. Should it was leila's first day of preschool. And i don't want to sound like i'm complaining but we didn't have any help for the past couple of weeks. It's been spotty with help and i to give an example. I have emails regarding my health That have just been not. Nothing's wrong with me. Which is like you need to make disappointment. You need to send this record to this doctor. So they can complete your physical and like it'll just go days emails. I everybody feels like their emails are important. And my what i mean. Is there not just. We'll saw man what's going on. Business things Things that used to pride myself on being very quick turnaround. Hey we need to rewrite on that scene. And i would send it back that day or the next day now. We're looking at two weeks now and the guy that you emailing go. Hey check in and why and this is why. I want to be very clear that i'm not complaining. Because we are most of the time taking care and delighting in leila taken care of and delighting in bela so our life. I get the feeling that some people think. I'm big timing them Like somebody from my past email me. It'll take me a week to reply. And when i replied i'm just taking care of my daughter. I wonder if they believe me. But it's one hundred percent true okay then so. Today is one of the first days that i mean i can hear it in my own voice i i have my needs are being met and what are my needs was i wanted to finish that script and send back in. I wanted to reply to some emails. I wanted to meditate. And i wanted to read. These are very basic things and they really add up to four hours for with the with the scene. It was like five hours. But i needed that so badly and then as soon as that. Those basic needs were met very earthly stuff. This is the paradox. then deep theological philosophical metaphysical Existential ideas make instant sense to me. Because i'm clear it's like it's like literally all the things you have to do our clouds in the sky and when you move them out of the way you can see the stars again aso times and i share this because we do talk about philosophical spiritual things on this podcast. I'm sure people listening in that. Listen regularly can identify with some days. You hear me. Say something like You know watchmen is a show about the divine playing hide and seek with itself and we go that makes perfect sense and then there are other days where you just go like. What the fuck you talking about. That show is about a blue guy with his deck out and and and racists and you're like yeah both are true. What i'm saying is like what a strange instrument the human body and human mind is. And i have always loved the name radiohead for a band. That the the head. Your consciousness can be tuned to different frequencies and one of the things that turns the dial is just basic ass. Shit the cliche of the mom. That's just like if. I could just have an hour to myself. And if anybody's listening please fight for and get that our if you're able to because i'm currently demonstrating the evidence that that is. Sometimes all we need. And then the big picture clicks into focus. Yes definitely and i. It is also like the cliche of the Like image of tree being like you. You're grounded and you root down so that you can. That's exactly right. It's an and you need both and both are ours. Really exciting came up with that That you just found that yeah. I yeah it's definitely I considered a cliche. But maybe it's not an is. I mean the trees are likely ocean. Any metaphor you need for life is is an a tree and the tree. But it's i think that's an important distinction. And i'm really glad you brought it up because even doing like difficult emotional and all of these things that we try to do to heal and grow i know i can get into a mindset that i think is reminiscent of my religious upbringing. Where and because. I know that i'm a nine. And my downfall is that i'm i'm trying to always seek comfort and i want to avoid pain. I will go so hard the other way thinking that like if i'm not uncomfortable all the time then i'm not growing and that's really bad and that's that's just such a rigid sort of i would argue like misunderstanding. Of how the healing process works Because i do understand that. I agree with the idea that like you often have to be uncomfortable to grow. If you're comfortable you won't grow. But i don't let your healing but i do think that yeah. I think that what you mentioned is it's i think there's an a level of safety that is required to be able to do a deep dive. Sergei wayne and the green knight. You're going on. That journey fed arrested. Yes you know what i mean. Yeah you might get worn out and suffer the whole way through but like yeah take care of your stuff first and even the like suffering the whole way through. So it's like okay. If i am if i'm going if i have some pain that is showing up in my body emotional or physical or whatever i am going to need to make sure that i am all my needs are met before i do a deep dive into that man even when i'm doing a deep dive into it. It's like the discomfort. I'm very aware of the discomfort. And i have this other awareness. That's like i can take us like. I'm really scared but i can take this and then there are times where it's like. I don't think i can't take this and this is something that my wonderful says like no good can come from white. Knuckling that kind of thing so then you get back into like. What does my body need to feel comfortable and is that enough for the day and my done. Do i need to revisit. This and that agency is more important than anything. And that's what. I learned on my joshua tree trip. I was like everybody was having these like beautiful. It seemed like everybody was hung these beautiful revelations and being in this really cosmic deep space and there was laughter and levity to but i was feeling such a resistance to that and i and i was like this is a lot and so i went and sat in a hammock and listened to a comedy podcast just to like speaking of. You made it weird you. I listened to all of them. Oh wow oh you took it for four month break. Yeah cool said glad. Conan o'brien needs a friend or your dad wrote a porno. Those are both great podcasts. By the way it was actually comes to be buried with films to be buried with or i'm brecqhou stain films to be buried with. Yeah but it. Sony news was all that i love. What you decide is exactly the self care that i meet gallery can i can i can i. Can i want to offer that when we're talking about like and we do talk about the virtues of suffering and we talk about the treasury seek is in the cave. You're afraid to go and all of that is true and The cracks are how the light gets in and all of these things they are too. I'm also gonna say. Add to this conversation that i think you're probably suffering more than you're even aware of As a rule Meaning when we're like. Oh we're having this nice easy day and i'm not really suffering and it's like yeah you probably are. Here's why i say that because well first of all roared defined suffering anytime. we're out of control very liberal definition of suffering But i find it useful. And when i did this weekend in brea recently. There's been a lot of talk about this weekend. In brea on the chris martin episode. I was complaining about how ticket sales were slow I just did the weekend in brea. It went well. I would say that went very well but because it had been almost two years since i had worked a weekend the the pandemic struck when i was. I was actually in cleveland at my hotel. The shows were the next day. And i flew home too because everything was locked down. I watched as each state by state and eventually ohio. Shut down a couple hours after. I canceled my show but And then i flew home so i was on the road. I was in the middle of a tour and at that point in my life. Touring was pretty normal I wasn't really freaking out about ticket sales or remembering my sad or i actually. I want to be clear. I'm aware that it might sound like i'm overly dramatizing what it means to be a comedian but i wanna be gracious and pretty liberal in what i what i would do this for. Preschool teachers postman post women. Anybody i think if you're paying enough attention to what you do at work or for your livelihood. I bet in your body there's x. i'm gonna say maybe not extreme but there's trauma happening and because it had been two years. Since i had done my weekend. I was so aware in large part. Thanks to you valerie. Semantically in my body how much i carry stress even when your job is your dream job. I started with the ticket sales. When i got the call from from the club by the way. Thank you to everybody that came out. The turn out was was good. They were only at a certain capacity for covert anyway and you know understandably. Some people aren't ready to go out. And i completely get that But thanks everybody that came. When i got the call name ticket. Sales are slow. I felt it in my teeth. Because of you. I noticed that like that. Like headache feeling creeps into your jaw. And as chris martin said it's just like the thing that you do and you know it's not right but you go like i will perform somewhere and the way people show up is how loved. I am in this area. And you're like wow i'm not really loved. You know that's not true but that's how you start to take it in your body and then when it came to doing the shows themselves and anybody that does any type of presentation or teachers. I'm just trying to broaden it. It's not just show business. But when you're in a boardroom or a creative room working with other people with in my case. I'm working with an audience. The level of attention. That i'm paying to that audience. Micro-second two microseconds to micro-second noticing like what's working. How drunk are they are they safe. Is this person in the front row going to be a problem. Is that guy with the kevin. Federal line hat. Who's right in my island. Who won't stop talking. He's talking loud enough that he's distracting the other people around him. And how many minutes do i let it pass before. I tell him to shut up It turned out about five minutes and then when everybody clapped. I knew i had done the right thing but the lot we call this coyote mode. It's thin it's lean and it's fast and when i got off stage every night in adapt to do two shows so it was like driving race car something and my body a driving a race car. You are in physical danger but my body doesn't has no idea that it's not in physical danger. It gets into that fight flight freeze mode and i'm fight flight funny i i'll be funny and that'll be how i survived this trauma. I'll perform my way out of this trauma out of this situation. We're literally stand up. Comedy is the performance sort of cornered by the audience. Sort of nowhere to go and sometimes that's literally true. All i'm saying is having taken to breaks off and then doing what used to be very normal to me. I noticed tension in my neck. In my face. In my arms i notice that disruption in my sleep i noticed a an unceasing quality to my thoughts which could be productive but often wasn't productive. All of this is to say no matter what we're doing even if it is just what. We always do working night shift in a parking garage that has unseen Shit that you're used to your just used to and what i'm offering is and what i think we learned from the pandemic is ordinary. Life is harder than we give it credit and we need more kindness. More self compassion. More care doesn't have to be gratuitous we don't have to go to spas and stuff necessarily but sometimes you just need a little you time i forget why started that point but i'm glad i made it because no matter what people are doing out there even if it seems like in my case fancy comedian must be nice. You get to go. And everybody's happier their well even that. Has this like price you pay. And even if you're just in a butterfly sanctuary. I guarantee there's something that you can find in your body will find to stress out in freak out and give you an over exaggerated response to in your nervous system. Yeah everybody's carrying burden that we should be kind and gentle to ourselves into one another. That's exactly that the point that you. Because i was saying that the self-care was laying in the hammock. And looking at or listening to a podcast exactly and it is like this is why this work of healing is. It's so important like a tune. Mint is the word. That's that's the key to all of this is a tuning to your body and that means knowing when you have it in you and when you don't and teaching your body that you will honor its perspective and it's an you know it's voice what it can handle and what it can't and that you actually have the choice. So that's the the big scary feeling a lot of times when we go into a difficult feeling usually the feeling we have is. This is bigger than me. This is going to eat me some version of the and so the more we practice choice even the choice to be like i right now. I can't actually do this. Spiritual practice that i usually would love. I i need to like go to pull out. I need to pull out and listening to listen to mr buried. Where to listen to the beautiful voice of brett goldstein. to see you again reasserting. i'll be shit. That's okay all right businesses. can i. yeah please. It's what leila did today what we're talking about indirectly so leila's i have preschools today so we dropped her off Apologies to her school. They said only one of us could go in. We went ahead and both women and to their credit accredited. And it's what we were talking about. Sometimes they're just like we. We squeaked by and it worked out. It was just too hard. I when i was waiting for someone to say only one parent and i would have absolutely walked away but it was just too hard be there i really and frankly i'm really glad that we did. I was sitting down trying to model to leila what it was like to play with kids. I made three friends really killing it by the way i was like this is this is like i think this is your element like your better at this than i. I would have liked to stay to state and played with the kids all day. Yeah i just love that. It's it is a type of performance. Improv you're improvising. Your yes and and kids are so can be so good at it if you model it. You're like a big tall deep voiced man and you're getting silly and playing with it. It's like this great power of dad's not that moms don't also have that power. I'm speaking from my own experience. But anyway this is what we're saying in regards to So the bray weekend after that we can. I was like you know what maybe would have been better. Because i feel like at every show there. Were maybe thirty real real hardcore fans. I'm talking about weirdos in you made it weird t shirts people that knew when i said vowel who i meant thirty out of. Let's say one hundred fifty or whatever it might have been. And i couldn't i next time i go to brat just you one night and do it on like a tuesday and then the real fans would come out instead of. This has nothing to do with this. No disrespect to braille or the club system in general but instead of just like being the weekend be one special event and visit those fans that live in that area same. It's what we did when we did. Saint louis we did the firebird. Do a rock club do one night do it for the people that what i'm saying is that is a way that i can love the cell. The soft animal of my body. Mary oliver ref but with leila you and i decided that we were ready for whatever she needed. We believe that she's strong. I believe that i'm strong. We believe that she's brave. I believe that. I am brave. And i also believe that if she never settled down would get the fuck out of there and you know. I'll burn down the city of los angeles if that's what it takes and this isn't just lake hyper hyperbole. But i mean like. I'm trying to get us love yourself if i'm giving advice and i'm speaking to myself like i love leila meaning if it's not working where is it written in stone that she has to stay in preschool on her first day. If it's ten out of ten freak out we're going to get the fuck outta here and what we said. When we left we're going to call at noon Which is where we did. And if she's not adjusting we will go and get her. That doesn't mean i can hear. Maybe i can feel. Some people are like well. What about grit. What about stick to it. If ness or whatever it might be or perseverance. Yes she's also three and you know what else is three years old. The part of me. That scared Sometimes i get so much value out of the inner child metaphor or the image of re parenting yourself. And i know we mentioned a lot below laura bites our friend. See how we were with leeann. She's like that's how i'm going to be to myself. It's like just witnessing how you're feeling and demonstrating and this brings it for full circle demonstrating if you need to get out of here because you are having like an irreconcilable Fear and freak out. Yeah we will go and get ice cream. We won't just leave and be quiet in the dark house kind of mad at our failure. We'll go get ice cream and we'll celebrate that sometimes you go. Let's get the fuck outta here. Giant appetite was that great standard bit where he was doing a benefit and he hadn't done stand up in a while. It's it's in his special. Which is on netflix. He's he's gonna do stand up. He hasn't prepared and then it is the most like he hasn't done stand up in a while so most preposterous lineup in the world. It's like paul. Simon steve martin bruce springsteen the edge it goes up and then they're like your next and backstage. He looked to his daughter. Maud hoping that she would encourage him. He was getting more and more nervous. I mean i don't wanna follow these people and and like it might as well have been eddie murphy goes up and like people are freaking out and is next and he looks to maud and he's hoping that she'll be like you can do it and she just goes don't do it. Let's get out of here. Yeah and. I'm pretty sure. That's how the story goes. That's how the story goes leave. And this is nice because this podcast especially when an flared up and lit up like christmas on the inside which means rested and in my power and affirmed and all these things and loved and feeling safe. I can be very like go for it. Slay the dragon go in the darkness fight fight. Fight break yourself late yourself die be reborn and sometimes it's mod appetite going don't do and like i can. Maybe people are like well. That's a very namby-pamby. If that's the thing you can still say way of raising your child. And i'm like your goddamn fucking right and i'm namby-pamby as fuck with myself and you know what western expectations male expectations. I'm doing okay. In the western model and the male model so getting learn to cure smart jinshan sweet candies slightly them but opts slightly damp. They're slightly damp right now. Wow is glele. it's pretty odd near Yeah i i just talked for forty five minutes. Sorry no you just go. Yeah anyway you know. I love all of that and i do think that you know. It's this is such a side note. But i feel like when it comes to parenting especially i do wanna recognize it. Of course is also a privilege that we both are able to be like will will not send you to preschool. Because we don't have jobs that we have to go to. Some people are having to leave their crime child in preschool because they have to get to work and there's that's really great. I feel sort of like pieces. I really didn't want you to buy. Also i forgot to stick the landing because leila knows i think just on an energetic level that we will leave yet doesn't leave yes. It's not your friends help. that helps you. It's knowing that your friends will help you. that helps. You is exactly what. I said to lisa in joshua tree where i was like it. I used the brody example dog. Yeah which is when we first got brody. Is it okay if i share that. I don't think there's anything you can say. Weird little freckle ev. On the inside of my buddy. That looks like a speck of ship. Don't say okay. I won't thank you but i would. We got brody. It was a bad design. Because i just like. I've had dogs my whole life. I was like who we're going to get a dog. you're gonna love having dog. Everybody loves dogs It's not a big deal. You just kind of have them around in the house and you don't you like notice them when you want to. You know that's how always had dogs And so we got a dog. And maybe a week later i went to visit my parents and left you alone with the dog. And by the time i came back you were really freaked out by the commitment of having dot which by the way the first time i ever got a puppy i as an adult so it was me fully taking care of a puppy which puppies are pretty much the same as newborn children. There's a lot of similarities. They have to eat all the time all the time. it's nuts i also had a full-on we made a terrible mistake moment. So it's really common. It's very like a brody was not just walking around lifting stuff. He was whimpering maria horrible. Diarrhea constantly had unbelievable separation anxiety. So i wasn't just like. Oh i have the week off like you let me alone with brody now i would be like. You're not leaving me with brody leaving me at home alone. And i can do anything that i want. Yeah including hanging out with brody. But that he's now very chill. Yes yeah kind of rescue and he. He definitely had some anxiety about it so we got back. And you're like legu- you looked so tired and sad and scared was joel because we had instagram'd at now is like we can't give him back. I kept thinking about how horrible people are online to somewhat famous people that give back dogs. Yeah and i was like yeah and the so. You're like i don't know i don't think i like it. It was so sweet and so vulnerable. And i and i meant this at the time and i also knew. It probably wasn't gonna come to this. But i was like the first thing you should know is we can give him to another loving family like that will. That was one of the worst parts was thinking that there was no option. And just only yeah. Okay now we're in the bacon bacon. That's the day bacon. So so that high sunspot and then we also like central remember. That made me feel better immediately. Yes and i didn't want to give them back. No but my wing that we could no no good. How revealed how you actually truly felt about the whole thing. And i think that is that's goes back to what you're saying about leila just knowing that and even when i left i said if you get really sad tell your teacher and she'll call us and we'll come so like i wanted to be very clear which by the way i did all the time in like fifth grade. I just go to the pay. I wouldn't even tell my teacher. I go the payphone with a quarter or dime. It was the eighties and call my mom and did leave a little bit. Maybe well no. I like how i could hear a whole argument on like how that was maybe too much to do. On your moms part to indulge in that and i would i would be like. Yeah those are all great points and now having my own child icon a love that your mom was like. Yeah coming. Saint not to make it about my smelling my own farts. They might say. David mammon movie but that same kid one is all about attachment could go to the pay phone meaning. I didn't even have to go to the principal's office. I just go to the pay phone. And call the number which i still know by heart of course and he didn't even have to use the code back then it was great it was seven digits. Made me into a kid that then shortly after that winter. Sleep away camp. My brother never went to sleep. Wake him that was. That was like a scary thing. Yeah and again love dead. There was no camp granada. I didn't wanna leave. I was a king of camp. I changed my life fourteen years in a row camp top exactly but not even it was. It was quaker camp. Thank goodness that tommy improv. And card games and magic and it changed my camp cool. We did a monologue about it on the home. Show camp cool. I wasn't high school cool. I was camp cool. If i have to choose between the two camp cool. Making friendship bracelets stealing canoes. That was so much better than whatever the fuck. I still don't know the cool kids. Were doing smoking menthol cigarettes. I'm not sure yeah. I don't know what they were doing. Bang and so camp cool. And then when i was sixteen knows yes seventeen. I went to the amazon For three weeks living with the yanomami indians. Then when i was eighteen i went to uganda for three like. Yeah this was this. This is what what we're both trying to say. Not just about our daughter and not just about ourselves is that we have this thing. I've like stiff-upper-lip bootstrap suffer through. You don't need last. You need more fear. More suffering more fighting more resistance. It's gonna build up your muscles and all that stuff but what we're what. I think we've been saying this. Whole time is the will. And the and the drive to develop that grit comes from being securely attached and knowing that will and i'm saying mommy deliberately. I'm not trying to condescend to my child. self. I called her. Mommy mommy will come and get me. And even in africa it would have taken a lot. But i'm like i get the fuck out of here and you don't get out of here and it's all back to brody. You can give the dog back. We will swallow that shame. Even though it seemed like admitting i had murdered a dog or something and the worst thing i could have imagined. But that's what stress things eighty does say line state. You really think you're thinking can catastrophe thinking so there's just no it's like when i am anxious if somebody gives me like cbd or or some not not even tvd just some like you can say cb say are you worried because as a sponsor kind of you know. I love co. And it's wonderful thing. But i know you mean there's nothing that will completely shut off every way you feel including something stronger than cbd. We'd i've eaten an edible. This'll save me and it's like no. This is going to turn up the volume on all your show right now. Maybe we'll yes. And the other the point i was making was that even if it does help me if i take something in that mindset i am so worry i won't wanna take something that i know is going to help me because not mindset. I'm like it's gonna make it worse like 'cause in that when you get in that like full possessed by anxiety mindset. You really. Don't think there's a way out you think this is forever. There's anything that somebody's offering you. That's going to help is is not going to help. Will that happened recently. I think when you're in the mindset. Now i understand what you're saying. Oh sorry dr again Should i take it. i'll get it later. They called twice just to pass. We'll pause gosh. My cholesterol is a little high. Your dad cholesterol's high your good cholesterol. Little low should be between thirty and seventy and it's forty. Yes but that's pretty lucky to have that cluster. She al-sheikh aches. And you know what it is. My my bad veganism really bit me in the bud because for time there this boring but during the pandemic i was just eating eggs every morning. And how many eggs were you eating. I don't want to say that okay. Okay was three eggs. Yeah because i always heard the expression. Three i gamla totally. I think that. I just i get it's helpful will now get the fuck outta those eggs. Yeah to do is not eatings. Probably keep doing your cardio in that will go down. I'm sorry did you bring up. How i rip out on the treadmill and my vitamins are great. Yeah items are great. I mean i don't wanna mention a specific sponsor. But i think that made a difference because every other time i've had my blood looked at their like you have no vitamin d. You have no b twelve and she specifically mentioned those so anyway. That's what were we saying. We gotta get the fuck out. I gotta go pick up our daughter i know. Oh we were saying everybody has seen burden were saying just like. Don't underestimate the self love of being like. Hey we whatever your version of. Hey if you need to we can get the fuck out of here is like a some of the most loving Action you can take very for yourself and for others sometimes and to me. That's like a benefit of mass killing energy because we think of feminine energy when we think of healing i do which is very much like flow e and a to write Healing of. let's get the fuck outta here like we're calling it around him up. This is enough. Fuck it we'll do. It live but the opposite fuck it. We're not gonna do it live. That's really funny. Maybe they close here. And i'm sorry that the phone call i. Just you know you worry. You're not going to be able to get your doctor on the phone again. Sorry about that everybody. I went into after school dropping off which by the way she did really well. She had a little cry but then she waved goodbye and was making little friends. And i'm so proud of her. I really had to pee and ducked into a yoga studio thinking they might be eko grooving and the bathroom door was right. There and i said hi sorry. Can i use your bathroom. I really have to go to the bathroom and she was like. Oh sorry. it's it's it's our policy to. It's for students only or something like eight thirty in the morning nine in the morning and i maybe an asshole. How many opportunities do you get in the day to be kind of cool. Said thinking like you devil. That's going to get her. Let's definitely like if somebody said. I think that if somebody said hey take a minute. You have a bathroom. Someone is suffering. No one needs to know. No one's here. It was not even open yet. I was like kind of like poking my head into a dark place like a closed place or plays that were was opening and she many blamed cova. It's because a colbrad. It's our cohen policy. And i was just like no. It's not. I mean i get that. That's the excuse but what it is is like just like a rigidity of policy and the and the reason i bring this up isn't to be because if i was her i could so easily tell the story of some asshole who walked in and it was closed and freaked me out. What's he doing here. And i'm alone and i completely under i i. I don't completely. But i can at least partially understand and sympathize and have compassion is not saying like what a rube this person was. Or what an idiot or like how. Not kind that was. She just spoke or truth and then for the next hour. I held it and it wasn't that bad. It was i i was sort of. It was exaggerated need it. wasn't that bad anyway. She you were talking about our friend. David vander veen. Who did this podcast. Who is a great example. He's so brave. He takes me free diving sometimes and he goes fearlessly through underwater. Caves that i freak out in like bail on just going. He's just such a great dad energy and he was the one that was talking about like the wisdom of knowing when an allowance can be made yet and you gave the example of like. You can't walk on the grass in the quad is the example that he gave an angora kind of botch it. But it was something about like the policy is you can't walk on the grass in the quad and it's like so the policy is for the whole and if the individual does it then the whole will do it. It's like well. If i let you use the doctor by one has been fantasy and the situation is the bathroom. And then as as i'm coming out. I hope you don't mind have seventy five friends with diarrhea. That'd be the bathroom and you just broke the policy so you can't pretend that that policy matters because you've just demonstrated that does not matter so i hope you like cleaning up jackson puplic fukuda's pu cosso. That's right. I remember but i think i'm getting this right if i'm not then. This is another point. That i think is accurate but it is kind of missing again. This sort of entitlement is like every once in a while you on a little dash of this kind of entitlement. It's not like something you should always do. Prudentially but the point of this was you know so if you want to walk on the quad and it's the whole isn't allowed to so the individual can't be allowed to because then the whole will want to but if no one sees the individual doing it. Nothing actually happening so if she let you you all policies exist for the whole exactly what it is. Policies exist for the whole. Yeah i am just an individual. Yeah i am i need. I just need the bathroom anyone's say in the time. It took for us to say this i could have peed. It was just a p p ended. Bp in relation. It's perfect because it's like if there were a line of five other people behind you were all wanting to use the bathroom. Totally in bed doesn't wear and you even said if she said i would but my manager just gave me a hard time about this. It's a problem and i get yelled at now. We're one for one is not yelled at. And there's logic this human a human connection about it. Because i was like we were being compassionate and i was like they could be any number of things. She knew she could have just gotten scolded for also. Wanna say i wasn't rude. I it was arguably a little manipulative to say. Please be kind. yeah. I look and see that there is anything around with ad. I mean. only that. My intent was to get her to do do what i wanted her detail. Yeah i did mean it i actually. This sounds phony fucked myself up my own. But but it's like but i did mean sometimes at the end of the day i go as i always say. Why did i get that guy on christmas eve. Meaning what are we doing acting like. They're seventy five opportunities to be kind in a day. That's why like when the go fund me comes through your facebook feed or whatever it might be like. Don't don't add or or somebody even better asks you for something. That's easy to give. Yes and like. Don't rob yourself of the pleasure it's like what byron katie. In one of her books somebody wants an unstable person who had don't know an episode had a gun pointed at her and she didn't want him to shoot her because she didn't want him. Yeah you have the the horrible the suffering of having murdered someone. Yeah that's a real enlightened. Right there i would be like. Maybe it's a little from column a little from calls. I don't wanna die. Let's really think about both sides. It best. I have a dinner plan tonight. And you don't want to walk around with the burden of having shot me anyway. This episode and i do want to circle back and say i want to concede and check my privilege that i'm like i'll just scoop up my daughter and take her home with me but i also want to say that would have been deeply inconvenient for us as well because the whole point of this episode was listening to how excited and alive. We both are because for the first time in a couple of weeks we got some rest and it really was rest in a break. And again i love you leela and i would do anything for you and i'd i'd become a shadow of myself for the rest of my life for you but now that i'm feeling full of life i'm like oh how nice it can be to have just a little time. Absolutely i mean we wouldn't be able to record this if she wasn't at preschool right now. At how many times have the past episodes been recorded in stolen moments of like we. I mean it was hard to get episodes out this week. That's why we released the live one on one of the fridays. Because we couldn't do it. There is no option. Yeah so even. Even hollywood jerks like myself are ragged to the bone so every every everybody museum everybody easy on everybody including hollywood jerks. Because we're all in this together. Yeah all right. I don't have a poem to you. I don't have a poem today I mean beans beans the musical fruit. You don't rush it the more you eat the more you to the more you to the better. You feel beans beans with every meal keeping. Thanks everybody lots lots. I'm not gonna say lots of love. But i am thinking crispin being squeezed.

leila chris martin valerie vallon Santa red Meoni bobby ted lhasa brea brody mary mater daft daft pete matvey lucile zell nikki
EP 33 - "The Descent"

Flash Fantasy: Rift Walkers

28:12 min | 11 months ago

EP 33 - "The Descent"

"Welcome back everyone to flash fantasies. Rift walkers i'm ryan. I'm the dm for these games that you've been listening to for the past forever. Seems like forever at least but there's more to come and a lot of exciting things ahead if you want to stay updated with what we're doing check us out on twitter at flash fantasy or find more cool things over at our website flash fantasy podcast dot com. Let's get right back into riff walkers Welcome back to riff walkers everyone. We're joined once more by our good friend. Laurel playing vowel. I haven't been giving her proper introductions for these past doesn't episodes but she is still a guest star here and i think it's safe to say is alive at the end of one episode. You can expect him and subsequently laurel to keep returning high correct i. I'm here until we're dead for sure. So last time the party ventured into the church quarter of threshold on errand of magister morton to investigate some sort of strange occurrence of magic or what this world calls it. Intent supposedly a very powerful user of intent there powers flaring up beneath one of the churches cathedrals. The magic however are barred entry and so seeing an opportunity to solve two problems at once magister. Morton dispatched this merry band to infiltrate said cathedral under. They made their way to the catacombs where they finally stumbled upon a magically sealed door allowing them entry after a small sacrifice of lucas pinkie into what are known as the four halls libraries and catacombs from a long dead age where we find our heroes now as they just seem to have awoken a hoard of what as only been known as the death. Louis so you're in a room. It has two exits. The one you came in where there were sort of the isley plates with symbols on the floor which opened up into this larger chamber with an altar at the end and an offshoot corridor that had a locked door that when interacted with seemed to awake in these ancient curses. And now you hear hundreds and hundreds of shuffling feet and bones scraping along stone coming down the halls from whence you came. We take the crystals out the door so we notice we notice last times whoever was by the altar and whoever is by the stones to side and whoever's by the door that there's correspondi ones but there's one that doesn't that the door has the mall's right yes. The door has the most who knows downloads. That i think actually. I don't know that. I looked at the fountain. I looked at the door by the altar the altar that has a basin on top leering doesn't know swap because he's still by the tiles lead out all of the blood from the base. Yeah remember last. Rob what we now. There's nothing in the basin. Dang put blood in the business that. You're yeah reese. Cut your hand in the worst way possible to make. It bleeds forever and never heal. I thought we were going with luca the guy who didn't care that his pinky got cut off. Yeah you're right. It just cut off a little masters the last show of the nub there so probably can't hear too terribly much of these footsteps coming because they're coming from like the furthest end of the room where he isn't he did hear something a crash or a commotion whatever so he turns around from the basin he sees everyone else in the room in order kind of going back towards the tiles on the floor and immediately just instinctively draws his great sword off of his back. What was that in response to hearing the sound and whatnot because it was vow that was reading this right. Correct ephron turns savell and says that what did they would say. And what is that sound. I do not think that is a good sign but if it is it is bad. Dustless is the word icy over and over deadly do. Does these corruption happen. You mentioned some sort of as solution to this Daedalus problem i read the inscriptions more as you skim it as quick as you can as the shuffling. Clanking sound grow louder and louder in the near distance just around a few corners. It seems the door seems to kind of fade as you absorb this information and as you reach the bottom of these inscriptions this door as it was is completely gone. It's disappeared whatever information you garnered from it now only in your memory in front of you. Instead is a door of simple wooden construction. A couple iron rivets across it a large handle and from the inscription that is now gone. Unfortunately you were only able to glean one word of advice and that is run sink. We need to leave right now. Do you say that loud. I shouted it last time. Leary and please come. Here reese years well luca whereas ruka luka was in front of the he's like oh he was already in that air that area and turns around he says look look good everybody. We must leave immediately. I do not know what these. But i would not like to find out please. Val hasn't for me. It is best that we run. So i believe the door is now open using that as well. Zip code is i. You know this. All just kind of wind survey as i was reading and i don't know we should leave right now. Reese pushes way to the front of the group and spartan kicks the door. Does it open. Smashes open you. Don't knock it off it's hinges but whatever what have locked in place. Let's say if you try to close it. After you went through it has been destroyed. Come on everyone through. And reese kind of weights there as everyone rested past them if they rush passion vowel runs. Sodas the fron. Nasa's wait for me anyways. Forgotten just background getting by like the skeleton people varian pauses for a second before heating franz call. He makes note of the symbols that were on the tiles and he starts running that way and recording those symbols ins in his notebook. Great as you all barrel through this door your trip is cut abruptly short as you come to the precipice of a rather large drop a set of stairs leading down peculiar to this room. There are candles and torches in distance sconces at are lit leering casts spike growth to cover the doorway and the pathway leading into the hallway so that covers the entire doorway. A little bit into where you are and a lot of back into the room where you just came from exactly like i wanted to show you take to strain. How long does that last for. I'm just curious up to ten minutes so we don't get much time guys and you have to have concentration so you are able to close the door if you so desire we. Why didn't you tell us now. I just told you couldn't lock. I never said it couldn't close. As everyone shuffles past greece. He gingerly puts the door back where it was and the spikes grover it so as you all get a better look at this room. A few moments to spare as the spike growth seems to slow whatever is amassing outside the now closed door you look off and you see one staircase going straight down in front of you and another one going off to the left that sort of snakes along onto a small platform that jets out from the wall. Both of these staircases however eventually do converge and then come down into one circular platform beneath everything. Maybe one hundred two hundred feet down before leading off into a hallway on the left side. What do you say jobs. How about we go to the left. Anyways better than here aren't we. Searching for a magical beings at possible may be thou could indicate direction for us is my detect magic still going. Has it been ten minutes. You're detect magic is still going okay like there is definitely a force in play that is animating these corpses cute that are barreling toward you from the other side of the store and at the bottom of this and that solitary exit there is a large pole and it's similar to what morton described when he felt this intent. User says something very strong. I think that's whatever way we go. That's want to go all right. Let's be on our way and rescan start shuffling people in the direction of the door. Nice and everybody goes that way. Yes so as you work your way down. These differing staircases. Bits of stone and dusts fall off clatter below into this endless pit beneath you as you pass by the outer walls of this tavern that seems to be half etched from natural stone and half still this. This cavern originally was there are small. I don't want to call them receptacles but they actually seem like cells the dotting the walls every time. There is a platform that the stairs converge on. And so this happens three or four times as you're working your way down notice going to each side of this rectangular cavern as world the sending a front is just gonna take really quick peek into a couple of these cells. See if there's anything in them if there are like any creatures in them or skeletons just kind of getting more of an idea of what they are but he's not really stopping to inspect them super. Close you see moving forms cubano aides who. I was hoping it was like a forum on the wall of like some cool month hours. So find inside these cells. You're saying he sees it is do we have light source zykov tortoise and stuff from from what i can tell what do these humanoid forms look like do. They look like they've been here for awhile. Real nasty look or their limbs look slightly out of proportion as a long gated unnaturally. Same thing with their their heads. Or what little of their heads you can see of them. Most of them are sitting sort of a fetal position their backs arched you see their glistening skin almost translucent it so pale stretched tight against their spines and their rips. Do they react to our presence as we walked by. Absolutely do not okay. Would you say these could be. Death was today appear as if they could not die from. I guess val and a franz experience knowing the fables of this world this is not what you would consider a death. Louis do they have ears. They do in fact. They seem to be pointed in a traditional fashion not like those applicable nor like those of the humans which are am which are not interesting. Marion's pointed ears. Yes actually. I also look into these cells and do i recognize them from anybody from the old world then or anything. I've seen before no even in your extensive travels. This isn't a species that you've encountered as everyone's kind of just look at it. On the cells. Reese comes up behind them. We cannot terry along. We must be on after kind of getting almost entranced by looking at these these forms in their front startled back to reality by reese and he he nods in agreement and he keeps moving forward as you continue your way down. You hear this crash of his bang from up above as war seems to have been thrown apart and you hear these sort of breathless screens as these creatures than start to just pile off of this platform tripping over one another tumbling down the stairs tumbling off the platform falling into this dark void dozens and dozens of them their forms smashing against this lower platform. That you've now reached breaking into pieces and then falling off or just splattering at your feet in gruesome sights. If you waited maybe another few seconds may be one might catch a lucky break and land on a pile of two or more and then get up on that case. Let's not wait two seconds. And let's keep going down before lucas is open. One of these cases. Try to give them some bait. The is crazy. Oh so as you work your way across this smaller bridge. That's only about eight feet wide. And nearly one hundred feet long it is just being bombarded by these bodies that are falling from above and i will have all of you and you may choose which one do either a constitution or a dexterity. Check so luca. Just sturdy check. His total is six that just unfortunately meteorology natural one so you also roll the one so franck got the second one evening the second that one of the evening is also the second role of the evenings. Look it's going really well. I also ruled. And i got twenty one so front trips over luca ron comes with him i like it. Leering gets a twenty-three re scott eleven nineteen for vow. Did you roll vallon race constitution constitution. Oh i did decks. I did decks so leery and and mick are the first to push across this bridge. Nimbly dodging underneath an over these corpses. That are raining around them. Making it to the door safely. And having a moment of respect to turn back and face her companions val. And reese are able to push their way across either battering these creatures aside or just pushing straight through them. You barrel to the end of the bridge and are able to make it safely to your other. Two companions as a fron and luke. Try to work their way across. Luca is seized by the legs by one of these creatures who did not die upon impact and simultaneously if ron one of them lands right on top of you sorta doing like a piggyback thing grabbing you around your neck and wrapping its legs around your chest and then just yanking you've trying to use its momentum to pull you off the bridge. Ken reese mckay reactionary action. I if ron and lucre going to have to do some reactionary saving throws both of the dexterity variety. I got a fourteen total. I got a thirteen total all right. We're really sinking. Or even twenty so luca as you are moving forward and you feel this grip on your ankle you are momentarily traps and as you feel yourself slipping falling face first onto this bridge. You catch yourself with your forearms and elbows taking your impact your knees as well but you are now prone as this monster starts to crawl up if ron as you try to shake this creature off of you you tumble sideways. Landing onto the bridge. Where the creatures arm is actually then crushed beneath you as you feel brittle bone and paper like skin just flaking away and the creature tumbles off into the void one of its legs. Still trying to grapple you taking at you as it pushes you just enough to where you tumble off the edge and grab onto the ledge fron just gives out a yell to alert the others because if everybody is running across this bridge we hearing of the. We're hearing but nobody would have. Nobody would have heard you know a couple of extra special thumps then again. We can see kosovo's like lear behind so around. Yeah at the. We're at the door and we're looking at you guys are anyway A days Regardless with anybody else does is. He's going to try to pull himself back up onto the bridge. Right please rowley. Strength check with disadvantage as a bit of death. Less as still clinging to you dang will can i try to kick it off for punching given a good elbow saddle strength attack or can i shoot it. Yeah i think if leary and wants to intercede here you may try sweet. Thanks larry got back luca. I'm sure if you are in place you might do. Something twenty-eight i'd try out the out the he got twenty eight. That's pretty good as you whip your bow off your back in an arrow from your quiver letting it loose. It flies straight through the shoulder of this creature that's still grabbing onto fron and it comes out the other end. You just see this plume of ash and dust as this creature. False two pieces. It's bottom half sort of falling. And then its head and shoulder crumbling away just a decrepit hand in a death grip still clutching onto one of franz legs. Immediately after leering. Does that in the front feels the weight of most of this creature fall off of him. You may not make your strength. Check without disadvantage. Nice okay please believe. That's a five. You are unable to hoist yourself up okay. Not good guys could do something in between likely kind of bounce back and forth between them doing something media something. I'll allow it. Okay quick question for you ryan. Do these things count as on dead. Yes okay we can. Limit are the ones that are affecting luca and ephron but they have to do the hand that's left on my wisdom saving throws will they will do a wisdom saving. Throw as a mob. Okay they got fifteen. That doesn't count. Okay so you just see. Reece's masks star glowing. And you hear them chanting some celestial incantations and then a beam of light streams out of his sword going into as many annette as he can see and all of them now are bending to his will as he has turned them temporarily. So you don't affect the ones on luca and the fron but you are able to clear a way halfway to them. Yeah that would make their journey to you easier. Luca is the guy who was holding lucas leg hanging off the edge and kind of pulling luca or is he just lying flat on bridge prone as well. He is flat on the bridge prone. And he's crawling up your body. Okay probably from the swing sword. I am gonna take my trusty club and i'm going to smash it as hard as i can upside the head. Okay please for attack. This isn't going to be good. It wasn't it was eight. So as you swing your club you smash at one of its arms and that arm disintegrates underneath the force of your blunt attack however it continues to crawl impeding your progress. Can i also try to drag myself forward towards the end. You may. Yes okay so. I'm going to do that as far as you will. Let me half your movement okay. Fifteen hundred nice which actually brings you right up to run as we franz hanging off the edge right correct. I hope it from having flashbacks. To the moment where semis. Bmg is holding his hand up to frodo in mount doom. He is going to reach for. Luca's hand can. I make some sort of a rolled. See if i can grab his hand and waist myself back up you may make a strength check with advantage. Thank goodness was that a net one. He was on holy smokes. Okay that's a seven though. And i got you a strength. Check to pull all these. I have solved this problem eight minutes ago. So i'm trying. I'm trying to do the christian. Bale for batman begins rajaa. Goes lashley gotta you gotta reference more movies for the as you curl the front sort of starting to get up over the lip of this bridges edge. Luca you feel and your back let me roll a die hard. Hit you feel in your back. A sharp pain seven damage worth as a broken forearm. That's basically acting as a dagger he stick a bone into my are back. He did in your paper your dagger out and stab got my club. I don't actually have a dagger. I've got a piece of. Yeah well it's just a piece of bone loss. Can i please cast spell. Now save us all. Save us from our own incompetence. I would love to do that I will expand to spell slots to dimension door myself over to ron lake directly on top of him. Grab him dimensioned door back. I mean directly on top of fell falls slightly dimension door instantaneous. So as vowel appears above if ron grabs hold of him and then disappears again i guess does that transfer to luca. I can only take one willing creature with me so vow then reappears. In the safety of the doorway behind reese syrian and mic with ephron. So it's pretty far up my tourist. Would you say it's head is level with my neck or something of that. Yeah kind of like the top of your spine before it goes up your neck. I'm going to try to roll over toward the edge and fling off my back into the pit. All right with the added momentum of suddenly losing you can have advantage cool. I just got an ad twenty. So i think don't i'll roll just in case it was a three. Got that at twenty. You effortlessly tossed this husk of thing off of you and scrambled to your feet. And i'll even allow you to take double movement because of that net twenty and the way ahead of you is pretty clear. Thanks to reese yes. I mean you see luca twists quickly as it falls. He stands up and he just starts sprinting. You can see. His left arm is kind of injured. From where the big thing stabbed him in the shoulder so he's holding an oddly but he's moving the adrenaline is carrying them through so with everyone at the door. There is a door to shut at this point and it still has a lock to buy. You know we shut that thing. We should shut it. Cool i'm going to say that the group goes through as these bodies. Continue to pile up on the bridge and the distant platform more and more of them being able to land safely and some even working their wages down the stairs and barreling toward you. You slam the door shut. Wooden frame held up by bits of iron. Creaking has bodies after bodies pummel into it on the other side before you lock it shut tight rattling as you back slowly away from this terrible fate that allow weights you on the other side. Is there magic to detect still concentrated on that. We're going to take a big old swift water just to help. Calm the nerves to answer your question laurel if you deem it so that val turns around to the view. This room that you've entered in you feel the strongest presence of intent. You've ever felt in your entire life look off.

luca reese lucas pinkie ruka luka morton Reese franz Luca ryan Laurel laurel luca ron vallon Morton Leary ron Ken reese mckay
MadTrio Podcast - Episode 115

MadTrio Podcast

1:15:27 hr | 5 months ago

MadTrio Podcast - Episode 115

"Welcome to the podcast this week. We'll the california pariah. Jonathan charney james the fatman stevens rob the old guy. Thank show back because she could say. No melanie from acidy man. I actually asked us said you wanna be on and she's like sure why not smell hesitate. She's a glutton for punishment. So we'll have any of you been just begging just dying in pleading for csi to come back. Nope so hiss i. Las vegas is making a comeback. I saw that. I was trying to figure out. What the heck are they. Just recap you know. So phan interns from So from pulp pulp pop culture hop culture by the way the apparently. That's for me. To say csi vegas castro unite and unite. And i sneak peek. I can't speak to you. Love those days. Vegas castro reunites and i sneak peek. So the brief hit that. I actually read before this website started. Just not working. Is the crime labs in issue. It has having issues. Something happened and you had gill grisham Charger fox's sarah seidel and a couple of other people who played brass's coming back. I guess to save the crime lab. So something's supposed to come back. You have some of the original. Cast uniting wow. I'm hoping the old guys like me in diapers right. I'm hoping george george ads. I'm hoping is coming back and was the heat. I'm hoping that guy was on. Crutches comes back see was there right. The guy who who was on those. Yeah the radio show host guy. But i can never remember his actual name. It'll be interesting to see who they they actually get so this is going to be. This should be in production now. It's back debt. Might my guess. It's either they're either. It's either starting or in in the middle of doing it. It doesn't really say okay. Do they ever so do remember. It was right around the time they had the miniature killer guy. They had this one killer. Who would like. I don't know he was like a contortionist or something and he hit in the back of somebody's trunk and like the tire compartment is all like latex or something he squeezed out and kill the person and got away with it. So yeah that's kind of what it reminded me of but they never had a storyline about him. I or maybe a little now about that one. Maybe they'll follow up with that one but it was right around the time that the miniature killer was active. That's kind of when. I actually checked out. Because i got it. They just stayed so long on this really stupid storyline for much of the. I think las vegas so much of that story. Lines just dragged on and it towards the that did that towards the end of the last season it was a little off the rails. My opinion writers changed a lot. And i believe my opinion is when when you change writers a lot. They don't day directly with kind of where the storyline was going or what they were doing were development of that storyline was get some new writers in an all said it goes left hander. You know goes away off the rails watching Doctor who i there was a few writers that i really liked their episodes because they were really either dark or twisted or had some good humor in there and he always tell which ones they were at the beginning of the episode when they said which writers were involved. So i completely understand. You're saying talk about something. They can dark twists and definitely go off the rails. we have a message from our sponsor. Today show's brought to you by the unforgettable party. Game mischievous people. They have online monday game nights on discord makes you stop by their facebook. Page prevent times dates you can also grab a free quarantine version of the game straight off their website. Audacity the unforgettable party game for mischievous people there you go so we got so. Is that transition. Ms adesina here. It's definitely can that it. Dark weird click. Yeah there's some interesting very interesting twists and turns in that game made. Jonathan posted a good example today which is Sadistic life coach. Where you have to slack the place the player to your left while screaming. You're beautiful off. It's it's the it's the audacity of the month our audacity for some reason. I don i. O apparently i guess parent munoz. So you know you guys. Do you guys like the olympics. Televised the ones i like. Well you're right to a degree but this is this is the summer olympics are supposedly coming to tokyo in about two months or less and Guess what's really not doing. Very well. Over japan kelvin. Covid vaccine as they are now. Having a major problem again with kobe issues spiking in japan and they have vaccinated less than two percent of their population and here way behind the curve. Here we would think that the You know the japanese would be way on this thing and never giving any thoughts. I started reading this article and also they're saying now. Unfortunately the japanese are not doing a very good job getting these vaccines rolled out and right now The united states is a do not travel to warning for japan. And they're saying that to go there and yet we have people starting to head over there to do the Preliminary scouting and things they need to do for the olympics and Let's yes specific reasons for going to japan. You can't The japanese don't worry we're going to go ahead and we're going to get that program going and we're going to try to get Six thousand doctors in tokyo to Give a whole bunch of vaccines to people and It's not working and They got a petition going now. In japan that states that they've gathered over three hundred and fifty thousand signatures trying to ask japan to cancel the olympics. Because it's not working. I i was gonna say. I wonder what this is going to. How the effect none of the olympics but the olympics number one sport which is getting frisky. Yeah i you know. I don't know what's going to happen with that because there's a lot of Shenanigans from the stories. I know these athletes need to blow off steam. Somehow robin windows. I tried not to be so new nickname for right. It's i found something interesting breakdown. From statistics dot com to breakdown of japanese ages. According to age jet japan age distribution from twenty nine to two thousand nineteen as of twenty nineteen twenty. Eight percent of japan is sixty five years plus fifty nine point forty two percent fifteen to sixty four and twelve point. Five seven percent is zero to fourteen years old. They got a lot of old peopling. Npr both the younger. I would say it's probably mostly older. But what does this have to do with Getting the vaccine government serious. I'm just what my my my my thought process because when the vaccine i came here in the states everything everything they were telling. You know if you're beyond a certain age you must get it so they were really trying to get the older folks guy to get it so with a population as old as japan. I'm surprised that job. Maybe it's cheaper just to let him get sick and die mccain taking care of seventies monetary. You know you never know what goes on in foreign countries heck our own country alone as far as you know where our politicians are thinking in any given time so this is the thing where you're wrong. There's some presidents that i knew exactly what they're thinking it was you know. Chirp chirp chirp both hutton thinking john. He wishes he had certain cards on the desk. That melanie has that crawling. There's a crawling through the legs one videos on checkout the youtube by the way it's hilarious right one for i mean out. Release after the show runs for a while. We'll get a lot more things for your cards. The clinton saying that sometimes the cigars jessica Jeez some days we really go of like csi off the rails by the way. This is all your fault. I know i'm what he has of climate change. Do you think the east to go and protest on a farmer land. Why would i wanna to go. Protest pollsters to invade a farmer's property to protests against genetically modified food where we where was a private property. I can't find the actual place of it. That's what i was reading trying to find what they don't actually have it in article but So anyways they decided to go out there and pitch their tents sure. Rubble enjoy that. Anyways drummer the former got a little unhappy. Hooked up Blue some loads trailer to his tractor out and feel blue. good good on that former. That's hilarious yeah. I think that's a great way to deal with for desert. The reminds me something. James and i always kind of joked about his next time. They had appeal protests in our local area as we always wanted to rent like a food truck or do like you know like fresh meat and throw barbecue and because we know enough people who are jackasses. Like each other that we could. We could have a lot of fun. And it's i still wish they would actually say where this happened. That i can't find it anywhere in the article. I got a quick question for you with james looks at up. Have you heard of the movie. Green book Sounds familiar this was made in two thousand eighteen. And i. I had a very young child. I still have young child who was very at that time and it's with vigo mortenson and it's about a so basically there was an An african american gentleman who came from rich family who was an amazing musician and hired vigo mortenson character who is who Was italian was a i. Guess is an italian bouncing prone to tony. Frank no tony lip vallon longa. And you're in trouble already. Yeah no but it's i. I watched a couple of youtube clips and this movie looks amazing. So the green book basically add lead from. What i've heard is a book that african americans would use to tell them what areas are safe for them to go to or not in the south and other areas and this is about the tone vigo mortenson character was hired to drive this african american south on a musical or yes. Yes yes. I've heard and so some of the clips i seen. It looks like a damn amazing movie. I don't ever remember hearing about it. And i love vigo mortenson i actually. There was a television review of that particular movie that i saw. Maybe two months ago about coming out. So i i had forgotten about it until he mentioned it because i didn't see it released anywhere. I haven't seen it on netflix. And i certainly haven't seen it on any of the other premium premium streaming services gentleman. This really bothers me. I can't the descriptions. I'm looking at doesn't tell me oh Classical pianist don shirley was the gentleman in. Who's his real life name. The person's name Just shout out to you guys. Because i'm always looking for a good good movies. That aren't you know kind of the marvel superhero movies. And i'm pretty much down for anything that's vigo mortenson i'll according to. I am db rob. You can rent it for four dollars on prime video. But i don't see it anywhere else. We'll let answers the question. Because i'm already you know what pisses me off about. Not that movie about renting a movie from a service that your ovaries already. Pay a premium for It's ready to do that. It's probably more than likely the deal with the distributor. I don't care who the deals with my point is is this. I already paid for the service not paying for another stink of movie so i'm trying to remember the movie chocolate warrior. Yes actually so. I was gonna go watch that. I couldn't find my copy. So i look online. And it says netflix tested really so on net flicks and i search. I can't find it. And i'm like okay. I'm pretty sure. I put this in my list. I couldn't find it on my list. Either and then so i look and i finally find it and it's not allowed in my region. That's what pisses me. I'm not allowed to have it in their library. But for some reason they're not allowing it to be played back in the united states so this is the what they mean by when they say region castle in your region. Kelly the against california california. I don't blame him to watch it. I guess what it is is before netflix crackdown. Uc get vpn. So you could Do you what was in country country. I've done i've done dinner. Great use of language wasn't proper at all. Maybe you shouldn't omit this well. That's a great idea. Vpn gesture chose. You're in another country. Where here's the thing they'll ban you and your account if they do it now So when you and your router bound bound your banner ip address so you know before you know. I do. I do it as a journalist. Figure out what was on there so it was kind of cool. You can see all this different context. It's all distribution deal. Yeah you know elon. Musk says these put rocket boosters on his The tesla roadster. She wants to do zero. The sixty at what point. One second reminds me of limit from one of the leprechaun movies. Oh boy spacex. He's going to put this basics. Rockets i love elon musk. He's a billion dollar troll. We usually talk to allow them every episode. Because there's always something new that you does. He needs a sponsor as well. I just heard leon. I just heard a something that made me cringe. I want to see what everybody thinks beggar. Mice does a- yeager teeny a yeager maistre martini or younger or leaguer. Meister What was a mixed drink with. Yeager meister and i don't have a great relationship with bigger. So i was wondering does not. Nobody has a good relationship. Modi's again melanie experience with. What did you tell us. Oh it's fun you had. Did anybody tell you what you did. Look bad it was bad. It was real bad. Apparently i tried to walk up a freeway offramp. What if your friends told you. Go traveling. I think your child i can tell i think ahead like i think one night ahead had six or seven years federal yeager mesa red bull and something else if i remember correctly parsing in the next couple of days. We're a little rough. Yeah that's that's not a good mix at all not good because the guys comment was older trying to refrain the brand. How people in giger bombs. It's a refined drink and the ghosts tasting tasting it saying oh this is in it and it's the flavor of getting in the whole time. I'm thinking yeah everybody. I know thinking of bad decisions. This'll you'll never gonna get it right. That's exactly right. it's melanie even agrees with that one. That's already tastes like candy. It's already trouble. what are you going to refine it more trouble. I don't think so. No thank you. Well that's always been aligned with any of these sweet mixed drinks. I mean it's ridiculous. I mean we know. My day was coke in southern comfort for the girls that work complaints account. That's like my my all time. Favorite stories is picking on friends of mine like their girlfriends drinking like a bahama mama sex on the beach that the super sugary and high alcohol content he's drinking coolers light and chase after afterwards like. Yeah they're not paying so. I'm going to mispronounce it. That's that's you know. And so she's hammered because she's had two of them which is a lot of alcohol for most people and he's look she's a lightweight and you're like dude you've had what four beers that's like sixteen and she weighs ninety pounds of like come on that may be less. They call them. Let me make you a drink. I can make you one that you can't taste it. Will you on the floor with forty five minutes. Let's you know alcohol. That i don't want the rest of the dream. Need to sit at low once. It sugary you. I just keep sitting on it. And i lose control of in or count accommodating ipad and the sugars. God that she's asking for little worst. Hang on sugar drinks anymore. That's a bad decision. I i'd like the quote unquote girly drinks. But i always make him a little stronger. Just because i. I kind of agree i heard. It was an old scotsman irishman old. This was star trek a little bit. Pleasure should always be followed by a little bit of pain okay. I know there's oklahoma. I don't agree with that line at all. Sorry you wanna taste the alcohol. There was some of the cocktails. I've played with. I could easily see like painkillers. You can easily make it incredibly and not taste it because it's Basically it's It's coco lopez pineapple juice and orange juice and anywhere between two and up of rum. And you literally can't taste it with like three ounces of rump. i believe it and because of the reasons. I'm not a drinker. Is because i burnt myself out in the seventies and eighties with. I'm never doing it again. Once is enough. Yeah well this is why. I just have one night generally more than a cocktail. So how do you guys like hypocrites in politics. I think we need to shoot them. Yeah so we need politicians james. He can't kill them all crossing borders from us here going over to michigan. They have a border crossing borders. A lot of orders. Get over there. Governor gretchen whitmer. she's Says one thing and does another. She got caught. They've had a very strict lockdown there in michigan. And not that. I blame for locking people in michigan. But i i think that's Lazy i'm an old guy tech. Tv and real the real excuse match real podcasts to disregard you know my opinion guys will be entitled his own opinion but apparently she She was caught telling Doing which he told her constituents not to do and that was to meet larger groups. She was photographed and filmed in meeting in the group of large. Oh yeah so So she did that. And then she got caught flying Private to from michigan to florida to visit her Father which is fine. I guess uh except you know the carbon neutral people going crazy. 'cause she took a private jet and then she took some aids with her her congressional aides with her from her governor office and They went on down the florida. Go out to have A good time and party down in mexico so Which they shouldn't have been doing either so she pulled a cruise so it seems to be. Yeah i guess. Apparently we're can you guess what political party. She's opposite of ted cruz. That's why yeah democrat of course to say that. I don't like to put anybody under huge umbrella much. I you know in all honesty. I don't really blame them. If i had a stroke to sneak away. I would do it. But i would. I'd like out there in front of your whole population. Restate until i'm no. You can't go out and meet with groups that large groups of people. Yes you have to wear masks all the time by the way which he was not wearing you you stand there and you do that and i always said about entitled people how much they pissed me off and this is this is an exact example of somebody who's entitled they feel entitled titled to do whatever they want. It's you know. Do as i say not as i do and it just pisses me off. But here's the thing that's wraparound which the consequences for things like that like proteins but set painting carrying hanging on. That's a that's okay. I work better at the caning. That's good with hanging. That's a depar- euphemism for previous story. That's a pretty stiff sentence Man i'll tell you it's yeah it's town residents that's right. They're not come here for hanging doesn't happen since eighteen fifties but it's all right and i don't if the weirdest thing for me is like if i was a politician i think the one i could see going to mexico but it would not be around other people it would be i'd be renting an entire beach or be like Well the new york the former new year. New jersey governor chris christie who they. Nobody was allowed on the beach but he was. There was this with his family. I mean that's the whole point. That's the whole thing about. I get about people feel entitled. Besides the fact you know you're in politics and top of it. So you're you're open for us to on things that you do it. Just it's just ridiculous. I mean you know if you're gonna if you're going to say something and you're going to ask those people that In the state that you're the governor of you you need to kind of do the same thing that you're telling them the do not see. I think i think what she should do. I think she should go on the news to say you know i'm the governor was elected. I was feeling depressed in order to actually be a better governor. I decided to hitch a ride to to florida and mexico. Just so. I can be a better governor. I would just be straight up. And said i would just name. It claim it. I mean because what else are you gonna do out. Have fun with it. Okay well good luck with that. Reelection campaign right i mean that's that's the whole i have to be. I would if i had a governor democrat or republican. Tell me truth and how they feel more likely to vote for him to be honest. No i'm not arguing. So has anybody been following up with this prince harry stuff. I'm i'm fascinated. It's i can't tell if it's hilarious or sad. Because it's it's like watching a british dumpster fire so why. Guess what you're talking about is that oprah has dropped another one of her series in in in in unfortunately I i think mental health issues in the united states is a serious topic and i may not agree with everything that that particular person says. I don't even talk about her. But i mentioned wines But i in some respects She's doing a good thing. Because this this this program was not aimed just at harry why was just. It was aimed at a number of different people with mental health issues. And so i wanna make fun of that. Because i believe that's very serious. Oh so you just took it a different direction than i was gonna take. It wasn't about their the mental health of him and his wife. Well it's it's his. I'm not even talking about meghan markle. I'm talking about just prince harry. Is that how you say. Markle markle emphasize a markle. Okay my mark there you go now you gotta coming out of all the time l. Let me see what you did. I m just doing it to make somebody laugh. Is i get a laugh. I'll do almost not music. It's miss annabel. it's he wants out. Man brought it out of this thing that amaze he's blushing melania feeling in studio you could have seen it hits his. The thing that amazes me about this whole thing is like how big of a deal it is like. It seems to be like. It's it's it's a. It's a royal pissing contest because apparently What's his name. Print the the dude with prince charles. Chuck chase very He's very pissed you know. And apparently everybody's been telling them to Do a stiff upper lip and don't comment and it's just i find it fascinating to the to the point that it makes me feel better about my family. You know what. I can't even begin to imagine what must be like to be a royal in the grow up in that shit store of we just know he's the oppressor and everything goes on. And everything expected. W and you've got gotta have that stiff upper lip in all that bullshit and just he's your father and second cousin twice removed at the same time. Yes so there's that that might explain some of the stuff that's going on there. But it's just i can't even imagine i mean and charles was was abused as a child. So what do you expect him to be. Like as an adult and apparent. He's not he doesn't have the tools to do any of that. Yeah so that whole thing is crazy. Well this was. I need another drink now. We well actually no. It will another to deal with that really sad. Note that this little cheery as we talked to you about. You can stand touch with a madison. The mad do you want keep up-to-date on the madison the mad at the mad trio. Podcast check out. Our social media feeds on facebook instagram and twitter or go to the magisterial dot com. So the metro dot com. Has all things three right. So that's what we're that that's the whole idea. It's all things three so everybody's gonna come up police three stories. I got my last one. Melanie that come up with three in a row. Let's see how she does so she's quiet and she won't be on the show again. That was it on thinking here. Did you see that Dr anthony felt she came out today and said maybe crow virus cronin nineteen actually did come out of a lab. So what is this the sixth or seventh time though this guy flip flops. More than anybody. I've ever seen in the history of the medical profession. Unbelievable i need yes. It is no it isn't it is it is and so it's like oh boy it's it's now Twitter storm fox. News is going crazy. Cnn is going off the hook because they don't know what to do now. Well let's let's be honest to set to set off twenty four hour. News is really not that hard really just gave them another thing. take a look at our previous president trump. literally i think in ten to twenty years from now there's going to be a class soley dight solely about trump's ability to control the media is literally amazing to me. He's he's done it better than anybody. I you know so. It's super easy to do especially when everybody's looking for things to talk about the. Yeah well. I mean that there is that right. I mean. it's kind of like our show constantly looking at the whole thing about cambridge analytica. Right gabri gentle which i don't know that. It was trump like timber. Dan lineker basically a company that that's the whole point of them. They control they know how to mine data from facebook and all the social media. Take over the news. And he's trump was involved with steve bannon. Who was involved with cambridge analytica. So i wouldn't give trump the credit. I would give it to cambridge analytical. I if it was intelligent way to control the media. And i just think i think what it is with personally as trump. He knew he made some a lot of people mad. So i just think he would just say stuff like oh drink bleach. I mean i. I don't know a whole lot of people that would have taken seriously. And so he's good he's good at flaring things out. That's for sure but the whole college phase facing right. I think that was a sign of cambridge analytica because it is essentially an algorithm that put out tweets for him and algorithm can make mistakes. Because why would somebody right face. Say it didn't make sense. But if an algorithm made it now that makes. That's just my two cents. This is a person acting different. I'm getting to deepen the conspiracies. I'll keep my mouth command on. This is the trio we. We are the madison. We can talk about. yeah no we. Do i randomly talk with a southern accent. So it's not like dead air. Let's this somebody needs to step up. John fall and we all know okay. I can the random thing. That just came up typing. Something was female. Hysteria was once a common medical by noses for women who described as exhibiting a white rot wide array of symptoms including anxiety shortness of breath fainting nervousness sexual depression insomnia retention payments of aberdeen ability. Basically every symptomless female hysteria and that came up at typing something about trum. We know what the cheer for. That was your the only can speak with authority on that issue. That's how they created vibrators all right the they literally got women off and they were like you're hysterical. You're you're acting little crazy. Let me get you off there all better now. I think we should bring that back. I would love to go to the doctor. Part is that's absolutely true and actually and all of a sudden you'd have you'd have a rise in the number of doctors that Spe specifically one field. Well how else would you want to be a guy with women so the fix for you come on jane's breathes some actual weeks ago i brought up that The mean the disaster girl sold her original picture for few hundred thousand dollars. Yeah so now. The charlie bit my finger video from two thousand seven just sold for seven hundred sixty thousand dollars so something called the detailer people buying this shit question. This is from en- gadget dot com. Which is a fairly trusted news source. Charlie bit my finger sold as an nfc. I have no idea what. Ta's could vanish from youtube forever collector three f- music spent seven thousand six hundred and one seven hundred. Sixty one thousand. Possibly ruin a slice of internet history. Yeah you're right. Why are they buying it I mean they're pulling and keep it as a Copyrighted not fungible token roy which means that it can't be swapped out or trade easily but it's like why would why the hell do people want this shit. I'm more curious why somebody spent six hundred six seven hundred sixty one thousand. Why would you spend that much money like you can buy some of the greatest cars in history that will forever make you money and instead you bought at ten year old twenty year old video. I don't i don't get it. They must be able to bunny with it somewhere. And it's just a matter of following that line in instead of buying charlie but you finger. I got an idea what you should do. Is you should give half of it to a addressing half of it to the mad trio podcast. And i guarantee you would make a bunch of people. Happy for the rest of their lives right. Just get a quarter of into mad trio and give quarter to of it to me. Okay for not Boy i'll tell you there there's always somebody out there you know i. I've looked at numerous things throughout history and time that people bought for whatever reason maybe thinking that down the line. It's going to make money somehow in oftentimes. It's not necessarily makes any sense. Is that why people bob peck rocks. I couldn't tell you only people my pet rocks. I've been able to when those were coming on exit. I got plenty rocks by property. Put them in a little bascus. Caster girl sold for half a million dollars. I'm just looking this my fair sulfur. Seven hundred sixty thousand the team. If there's any other ones that got sold. I think the kind see. Yeah i don't get. I don't get why you would buy it though. That's what i'm confused at. I think these are people who have more money than brains and just have really no good imagination. If i had seven hundred sixty one thousand dollars to blow it would not be in a video. And if i had to blow it one time i would have a lot of fun and so what. A bunch of my closest friends wasn't the things i've discovered about. We're invited melanie. That's right the word about the one percent okay. The people that have so much money that in there that's a. There's a surprising. Many many many of them. I mean they have so much money that they just blow money on. Whatever it is that you know meets fancy at the time and it wouldn't surprise me if we're not looking at some of those people the so much money that the video it'll be mine. I have to get to keep it for myself. And then of course ten minutes later that forget about it but you know what i can do though thinking. Get on you too. I can download the video. And then i had it or i can go to the meme and i can download the me and then i have it. That's why the fuck are they paying that much money. Is this like the question is is this like brewster's billionaire with a guy just says to blow blow all money to bunch of stupid shit to get all of his money. Possibly i have to admit wasn't that was funny. Guy could no the movie. I was a good movie. I'm just thinking for seven hundred. Sixty one thousand. If i had to blow it when the today i would have a hell of a lot of fun. Oh yeah outta. Have a hell of a lot of toys buying guns and tanks. Why not. I would go down to the mission district helicopters. I'd go down the mission district and by everybody one of those power washers. He's a power washer spray. The mission district by everybody in the block. Everyone really big and just spray the mission district out. Will you know what in that you're going to buy. You could just fill it full of water and you can take care of that. I i would buy one of my local now. No for missiles and machine-guns missile full of water. I i would one of my local politicians giant suppository like this. The world's largest at the so much stuff you would do that have found that type of money to blow your former business owner. Hell yeah there you go all right so okay so so Now there are jobs out there. A eight point one million jobs in the us economy right. Now wait a minute having issues hiring. yeah okay. So we've talked about this before go ahead. We did talk about this a little bit but this has become actually out in the news. Now it's being reported on the issue they're having is that they're the jobs that are out. There aren't paying what they used to into in the twenty twenty or twenty nineteen actually. Are they paying less or more. So the same joggers kelvin. The job was paying. Let's say you know sixteen dollars starting now. That same job is paying fourteen dollars an hour starting and people don't wanna be taking that job because they're making more on unemployment right so that's what they're saying is the problem with the job market now. Who's thing for as a business owner this the media and the people Serious that allegation. Republican governors and bank of america. Study that answers of america bank of america would sell their own mother. Nickel or leo labs is also doing the research i don't know who reveal reveal. Eeo labs is some algorithms from The monster jobs or whatever dot com play. So so what's your plan by the job postings. Okay so my question is as an employer. If you're looking out there right now. I mean is it worth even be open good question to try to start at sixteen dollars an hour like you used to. Yeah sure. I think it depends on the employee because i mean as i said you know between working right now. I've seen people quit. Because they're like it's screwing up line employment. Right between between the enhancements that people were getting in in the covid relief and employment You know that you but they're going to write it out for as long as they can. I you know i. I could see the benefits of of writing the unemployment. Especially if you're one of these people who like me in the past worked for big blue box Box stores spark is is is being unemployment is a lot better than working at some these box stores and other areas I completely agree sitting at home on my ass. Getting money fantastic. I did it for a month and a half while we were actually shut down for covert half. I looked at it. I said well this is going to go away. Guy get off my ass and work. Yeah i made some pretty good money on an employment day. 'cause i made pretty good wages and they had good. I mean at this point. I wish i got a couple month break. I could have plato daswani although you know the whole had a little bit of fun instead of the only positive side that covert ever had is. I've never gotten to work fast. Ever you know they were literally no cars on the road for months. It was glorious In the bay area. It's been so nice because people are going back to work but they don't wanna take the bart's everyone's driving their own car so now traffic worse than it was before cokie great. Yeah i found a mean that actually said and i posted a few a few probably a month ago is yeah. I definitely missed the part of covid where there was nobody on the streets. There was there was as i said we were only shut down for a month and a half so when i started working. I'm going to work. And there's like no school buses nobody on the road. Yeah we got spoiled for almost a year because of that there was this company who actually made like a like a covert helmet basically. It was like a hippo filter with a full face like a full face helmet. And i'm like i if it wasn't for the fact it was like three hundred dollars i would've gotten just because think it'd be hilarious. Walk into the store with a giant space bubble. Isn't that what the surgeons and doctors hospitals that that's what they were wearing though. Well this one was kind of like a reusable. One had a battery pack. When i when i had my my recent medical procedure. The doctor was in like the bunny. Like the like the bunny suit as i can in bala impala outbreak because they were in the whole bit. They even had that that giant filter backpack. Like this one was like just to do the scope of your throat while Oh that's right. It was kind guest lecture. Wisconsin actually will since bring it up my favorite part. That whole thing is since. I have naturally really curly hair. Every woman who walked by the room they stored me in luggage. Said you got gorgeous hair. I probably heard that twenty times. It was the most flattering things i've ever heard. Probably says that unless they have curly hair. That's right that's exactly right. Curly hair you looking at me. Like i'm so sorry true but it. It took me twenty years or thirty years of my life to just embrace the curl and it's it's actually like it because it's it's i don't have to put into easy might do i had somebody actually asked me. So what do you do in the morning. What's your routine. And i wake up in the like what else make coffee. What else work make aids. But what else drink more coffee. You do anything with your hair. Does that look. I do anything. The only thing i have to do is be careful like the stuff i put in it. You put stuff in her. 'cause my hair's naturally curly in other things you don't wanna wash it too much because it just makes it like i do get a what they're for man broke. What the hell's roy guys. Oh no i just like like. I looked like an sos pad just all over the place holding them. Frizzy kill that one so hold on it. What if he has the story stories. I wanna put our sponsor on the on the hot seat. Oh goodness i would. Curious is head. Watch younger ground railroad. He'd be the newest new one original movies. No it's a new series. It's a short mini series. I think it's like ten episodes on On amazon jay phillips what about on a novel I don't know off top my head. Who wrote the novel. I should don't but it was an incredible series. I thought it was really brilliantly. Done it's hard to watch. It's hard to stomach brutally honest About you know what happens. And but i think it's really important and it just kind of think There's a lot of Some school curriculum up until two thousand fifteen who referred to the underground railroad as an immigration of workers. And it just lose my mind and then there's talk about taking it out of the school curriculum altogether and My husband's from and they have a remembrance day and honorable remembered day. You send the entire day watching holocaust movies so you never forget. it can't be repeated and it just. I'm just appalled at our country for these schools. That wanna take it out of the curriculum. And i think it's a really powerful Series to watch and to just remember so that we can take these lessons into our future and the fact that some schools want to erase. It is just blowing my mind. So the underground railroad is an american historical drama streaming television limited series created by director ben jenkins based on the novel by the same name by colson. Whitehead it's l. s. o. n. the series premiered on prime video on may fourteenth twenty twenty one. The premise of the of. It is a fictional story of people attempting to escape from slavery in the southern united states in the eighteen hundreds by utilizing key elements employing the literal literal style of magic realism. In reality the underground railroad was a network of abolitionists hidden routes and safe houses to help. Enslaved african americans escaped to freedom in the early to mid eighteen. Hundreds know this goes into the conversation that we had all. I don't know maybe this year. Maybe in the last year where he talked about Where all these monuments were being taken down. Love him or hate him right. we talked about. Let's say some of the monuments that were From the confederate generals. Let's say let's just use that is really whatever could be and in there. You know. there's an over. We gotta take a sign of oppression and i kept saying wait a minute. This is a sign that you need to remember what was done. I mean it's a lot like You know what Took place with the holocaust and the camps in the fact that they're still kept their as as museums. So that people don't forget what took place series aushwitz and those other camps. And so the whole thing is you know like melanie's husband from israel the whole ideas that we never wanted. Forget these things. Guess it's bad. Yes it's horrible but what better way to remember how these things happened in. So yeah absolutely. And it doesn't make sense monet's right. Why would you wanna pull those out of schools because you you know. I know it's a painful thing. But you gotta remember the stuff so it doesn't repeat people people we live. We live in an age where people don't want to be uncomfortable. I've gotten fairly decent number of arguments being guy of jewish heritage. Who've said i want somewhere in every country for a nazi flag to fly and they always get this. This comments about i said okay. Do you have relatives that possibly died in it. 'cause there's a good chance i did and people who had relatives who died in it and if all because you know and and all i'm a lot of stuff i like even in the bible it talks about in the old testament. God says build this pile of rocks in the middle of the river. So you always know where you came from. We as a species need those monuments to our pass whether we really fucked up or we did something awesome. We need that. Because we're such a short lived people and a memory fades the and that's right and we don't carry it over. And i think a lot of the stuff and i don't and i could be wrong. I don't think they're not excuse me. I don't think the removing because racism. I and i could be wrong on this. It's probably what it is is because everybody's teaching to test. They removed. what school was really about. And now you've got to you got pomp all these people for stem and all this and that instead of trying to give children just a blanket base of knowledge for them to decide what to do. I love history Like for example. That green book movie. I talked about there was a term. I have never heard of called a sundown town. Which basically i guess. African americans couldn't leave their house after certain paid time. I'd never fuck her. That and and it wasn't something. Okay then i looked it up and read more about it. And that's what this is. It's it's it's a way for people to say okay. I've i vaguely heard about this or never heard this or your hair at ton hud tubman. There's so much more. And that's that's the part that i think pisses me off like in like i agree with melanie is like you need this stuff. Yeah i wonder if some of the monuments didn't i heard the whole thing. But i didn't go look and study. See exactly which monuments they were taking down because i'm curious what the plaque said because it's one thing to have a statue of a racist out you know soul but if it says something that is praising them and i could see why we would want to take that down but change the back and say hey. This guy was a jerk exactly. Yeah that's exactly what. I was bringing up as well. You're absolutely right. I mean. I guess it does depend on what the plaque says but the point i said that same thing eighteen nineteen twenty months ago. Whatever it was you know we need the. Yeah that we need to do just that we need to put you know. Put a different black in there explaining why you know okay. Here's this confederate general. Explain the good and the bad the the whole idea what he may have been protecting explaining in in plaque wrecked another one right next to it. That shows the other side. You know that the white guy got a monument and the black guy didn't then also give the black guy a monument next to it and say you know here's what happened. You know tastes white. Guy was a jerk and some of the other sides of heard a pastor of mine. I used to used to be my pastor. One of the places he asked pastor. Thank you. I was trying to say that. But he the one of the places he worked was in louisville and he was mentioned because they told him that is said. I'm i like that idea. And he said well. Here's the issue is the fact back. Louisville people actually believe in that stuff. So you're gonna give them something to praise. And i remember thinking about that and i've thought about that since quite a bit and i said well okay so the praise on the flag but if you put a plaque or a few i don't know put a star david next to it or or do something did disa- hey this is in remembrance about something and i it it's gotta be up on the plaque and the other thing is some of those monuments i've learned are not from the civil war period or the. What do they call it. The the period after the civil war some of it came out in the fifties and sixties when they're the civil rights movement. I'm really sorry. Had a hiccup. There came about so they made these statues to piss people off. I guess i'm not quite sure why you would do that. Some of the statues are fairly new. Some of the ones they've torn down were actual historical statues. And that's the issue. I have okay so the new pop. The ones okay. Whatever but if this one's legitimately after the during the rebuilding period or years. After i think for historical reasons they should stay now. Ryan said at one point. Okay you should move them. I just wanna plaque or like. Melanie said a wreck. Something else in say okay. This is what about just the do the good and the bad because everything has good and bad you just give everybody story and let them make up their minds. So i think the problem the problem of civil war if you're to get really serious when you look at home it's one thing to so What does this sound wrong. It one of the things that some of those statues are erected for was the remember. All the mended died. And there were. You know they gotta remember. They were americans. Us citizens right at that. The united states of america. That was the whole idea and we had a civil war where brother fought brother and so some of the things remembrance of the loss that actually everybody faced both both sides. Yeah there was. Nobody came out a winner. Nobody came out a winner and it it was. It was horrible and so part of it is the remember the fact that we did a horrible thing where brother fought brother. And so there's a there's there may be a part of it that when you go ahead and i want to remove all this stuff. Do you necessarily want to remove the memories that we did a horrible thing that a horrible thing happened back there and and yes. The slave situation was very horrible. It was awful and But not about but also along with that many people died as well and those families are still mourning that deficit as well and a lot of those people are in scripted. The fight for the sides of the south and so you also had to. You know make understood that the people that were in it the died that necessarily do not agree with the politics of it but they were still fighting. I've i've asked this question before about different things. I'm going to ask the u the y'all about it. You think this comes from the hubris of modern man is we. I've noticed that this myself that we as the modern population. The people life have a tendency to believe our forefathers. Were just not smart. They didn't get it. they didn't understand. do you think. Part of the issue with this. And i'm gonna use a modern term. The woke people. F- is do you think part of it. Is they just so much hubris to believe that the the people back in seventeen fifty two or seventeen seventy six that the they that they were just all racist when like the founding fathers. I have no doubt wanted to stop it. But they were trying to get things some started. So how much do you think is because okay. Yes they were just all racist assholes or how much you think is. Modern man doesn't understand the trials they were under in trying to better. Everybody's lives so one. Thought that i had when you're talking about one is slavery is still going on today. It's not something that's been eradicated in way shape or form there's all forms of slavery There is people Unfortunately in many parts of the world. that are enslaved. So that hasn't ended. And then if you go back and you study history you gotta understand that I mean from the get. Go if you look from almost very beginning of written time there were slaves. it's there have been slaves forever. it's it's If you're y'all believers out there it's you know they did christian say it's the fallen nature of man Not atheist would leave. You know it's just it's it's part of. It's it's built in to us as a species. You know that that the greed the want in part that greed would be enslaving other people. Or you know there's something within mankind itself that we want to do that. I don't know about any of that. But i but i i think I i don't know what the point is really moving around on this thing. But the whole idea is that slavery is is obviously a horrible thing and It's been since the get go. So how do we educate people to understand that. Slavery's met. I mean if you grow in if you grew up in a society where whatever it is whatever period of time it might have been that you know slavery was just the thing it just happened in less. You're educated at another way. You don't know any better because that that's just it you you know you think the romans grow- grew up thinking okay. There was anything wrong with slavery. I mean romans were one of the biggest. Many many roman society was built on top slaves. But the other melanie. What do you think i had to without longer. But i would like to think that it doesn't come from such an evil place. I'd like to think that it comes from man's need to feel special. And therefore if i need to feel special i need to make you less special therefore slave you in some way right like so. I think it comes from that greedy kind of place more than like. I hate this other race. Or they're they're terrible. And i mean they obviously think they're terrible but it's more from a plates or i'm better that you know and and i think that whether you grew up knowing better or not. There's still people who witnessed it and even though it's normal for the time they still have empathy. You know you can still feel inside that this is wrong even though everyone around me as saying it's right you know know Sorry he's gonna say there wouldn't have been the underground railroad if that wasn't the case there's always people who who whether whether empathy whether it's religious beliefs or whether it's realizing that everybody is really the same etc etc that they want to help free people. I think that's also mad. Part of man to y- you would hear a. He's a good slave owner what he still slave owner. So is there such a thing as a good slave odor. So you know i. Oh a treated everybody well well but they were sold slate. Yeah but you know so I i would say on that and this is gonna sound shitty but it's the world isn't black and white. It's very were sport. Every history is filled with shades of gray. And i i do think maybe there was a gentleman who bought slaves because that was the only thing he could do. And i have no idea if this is true. But maybe the only thing he could do to help them was to the to us to protect them by purchasing them to give them and that'd been a minority not the majority of the the only way many of those plantation worker fire is american slavery goes in the african americans are americans that were brought over. Here was the you know they. They needed the free labor so called free labor to to make those plantations girl and you know most of the self is built on that the the only thing i could think of an i really. I don't have any sort of historical perspective on this. Because it's never something of looked up as maybe he hasn't been. It's always been a topic in the ethos of america but never maybe it's never been the right conversation whether these people lives were ruined. Because you hear in school. I would hear about slavery but you would never hear the depths of what happened to him like you know like i remember hearing routes on have seen bits and pieces and you'd see what they did to to kunti kim tae and the people around him and so maybe it was something that it's the surrounding discussion that needs to be had in way where everybody's not so angry. 'cause 'cause right now specifically and in that like the sixties and seventies everybody is angry about it and i think they have the right to be angry but maybe it's the conversation that people need to sit down and say. Hey this is blank and this is blank and this gives you always going to have the minority who are pissed off about it because you know absolutely. It's a conversation that needs to be had. But now everyone's so sensitive and upset that turns into finger-pointing instead of an actual conversation that we can learn from and move forward from and decided yet it but it's a scary place to because civil wars ride around the corner again if we can't talk about the phone so i so because the old guy is particularly. The guy grew up in the sixties in the seventies in the fifties. All of this is cyclical starts in the fifties. I remember well yeah. But here's here's the question. You grow up in santa monica one of the heights of some of this. And how much from what you've seen is kind of the same cyclical movement of the civil rights era and in that part. Were people starting to speak on realize okay. There's there's there's some healing that needs to be done meaning to talk and well. Yeah i mean. I grew up in a very A neighborhood where we had We had all mixes of nationalities. Whatever may be and we had all. I grew up in a colorblind society. Let's put it this way. We had no prejudiced. We you know. I did know. I grew up as a kid that i had black friends had mexican friends. I had cuban friends ahead. You know every mix. I never knew the difference. I never realized growing up. And so i think i grew up in a very special situation as far as that goes Because i i didn't have any idea that why. Why would these people be any different than than any everybody's individual everybody can either be good or bad it doesn't matter what race color creed didn't matter. It was all all the way. And so it's hard for me to look and understanding To understand somebody that does that. Hate somebody simply because of what they look like because of the color of their skin because they may be there be a jew. Whatever it may be just because of that So it was very. I think it was. It was a start. It was the spark you know as they say of martin luther king and many other people's that was the spark that started discussion in the country in the baby the country to turn around and look at itself. And maybe you know start to Heal some of the problems. But my god when you look at the news watch. What's going on and he sometimes. It just doesn't feel that we've ever learnt from the past in that for some reason you know. Here's the reason. I asked that. Because i was thinking about this is i was wondering. If 'cause is a species were slow turning people like if you move if you try to move call too much. There's always a vacuum that just annihilate everything in his path. So here's here was my thought. Now see if y'all think i'm right or wrong is the the civil rights movement the sixties and the stuff in the seventies and it it changed the culture and these slow the asian got hip hop and got all the quote unquote people. I knew back in the day the black music and you start getting all that movement in that became a deeper part of the culture and the noun the the the the twenty twenties you have people starting to engage back in the same conversation they had in nineteen sixty and nineteen fifty and my thought. It was a continuation of the movement where people are realizing okay. These people got screwed and maybe the reason why people are up in arms as because they see okay. This conversation should have happened more progressed further along. And until i think i think these people don't realize that you cannot move people super fast and by the way i think it sucks because especially specifically if you see what happens in african american neighborhoods. Look at the statistics. They're getting fucked every which way but loose but the promise we society for some reason can't like a we know once we find the problem. We don't know how to fix it. How do you make it up to generations of people who got royally fucked. And i don't think there's a way to do it. You cannot exactly say oops my bad. yeah you know. This is an awfully deep conversation particularly for the end of the show this is. This is why. I'm were keep going. Because i think this is such a good conversation to have. I think we should finish it. Yeah good idea why you wrap it up. We're not done yet melanie. Do you have anything to add To be fair when a bunch of white people discussing this. It's only so it's only half the conversation and to a huge degree. We can only speculate. You know but i i had a similar experience to rob my both. My sisters are hispanic. They were adopted. My parents didn't think they could have children. And i was a surprise late life and so as a baby. I knew my sisters as my sisters before i understood what adoption was or before i could comprehend. Why are skin wasn't the same lie. They had brown eyes. I grew up wanting dark skin. Because i wanted to be like my sisters. I wanted to look like my family grew. And so there's i did talk but there's you know so my experience is very different than their experience and it wasn't until much later in life that i actually realized that and i thought that i wasn't racist because you know i thought i was colorblind. You know and that that really doesn't exist. There's no such thing is colorblind. Because i still did little things here and there that stemmed from racism and it wasn't like are overtly racist and raised us out. It's just the way that society is and the society as a whole trains you to be an act and and there were things that you know. My sister looks spanish when she didn't speak a word of english and she got shoot from other spanish people who tried to speak spanish and she said i don't know what you're saying. And they thought she was lying to them just because she didn't wanna talk to them. The i same here. it's it's harvest eight. You know we're missing. We're missing a huge part of the conversation. We're only one part of the conversation. And i think that that's the point. I think it's great for white people to get together and talk about it Because it would be easy for us to not talk about it it. It doesn't affect us. That's early but it is the congressman age behind. And i think there has been progress in their husbands in progress. Was how slow. And it's not even say that all black people are disadvantage where they all black people come from horrible neighborhoods because there's more black millionaires today than there ever was before. So if the very very large conversation with a lot of ebbs and flows the only way the only the only reason i framed it like editor earlier is because statistically feel historically statistically in america it's true but you're right. There's a lot of like the rock who you know for example who's probably close to billionaire at this point I did want to bring up something. There's a wrestler and for some reason a lot of stuff comes at the matching wrestling name by the name of brandy roads. She's married to Dusty rhodes his son who happens to be african american and she said something did I wish i remembered His son that her husband said something in an interview that i i've never heard before and he said to her i'm colorblind. I don't care if you're black white yada yada. And then she got rather hot at him and the comet she said to him was. I never wanna hear you say that he said. Did you know because my experiences mean my experiences are the fact that i'm black. You know everybody has a color. And she said i've never lived colorblind. 'cause she's she's interpreting incorrectly or sorry. I disagree by the way. I'm butchering it. Basically she said the fact that you know it's because her experiences have proven the fact that african americans have people are biased towards them. One way or another and for me. It's i've never her at my apologies for butchering. But i thought it was such a phrase way of putting it was. I could see it. Because i've i'm i'm a white dude who quasi looks eastern european and there are i've i've i've known people who if you were anything but blank that they would not interact with them well and you know i'm not saying that's everybody like i don't care what color somebody is. His lungs are knotted jackass. Goes along with their way. You know the whole conversation about. It's not enough to be not racist. You need to be antiracist because as you say i'm not racist it's the same as saying i'm choline but if you're anti-racist it's saying i had knowledge that there are colors and i my part to make fair between all the colors because if you just say there are no colors and i'm colorblind then you're kind of a slap in the face. 'cause you're ignoring the whole issue that these people have grown up with their whole lives. And you're just telling them it doesn't exist because i'm not racist you know so it's it's interesting and take it so deep under the show but i'm glad we're having this conversation. I think life should be more like a dean martin roasts if y'all haven't watched it where you have a bunch of people of different racial backgrounds really cracking on everybody else and saying absolutely horrible shit but all of them were friends. Legitimate friends or look at frank sinatra and. Sammy davis junior. There was a number of times if you actually look at the stories were frank sinatra got incredibly heated and he was one of the few people in entertainment that sucked with. You'd get in trouble because of his ties. And i think the world was like that. Maybe things would be a little bit better if everybody kind of you know. Everybody needs a frank sinatra. Okay am i wrong. Like i agree. I think humor is a great ways to your. Bring levity to Something that's you know heavy. And then when there's that levity then you can have the conversation instead of an argument so we are definitely over time so rob any final. Now have a have a good week. James you wake up james any any any final thoughts. Sure melanie. I'm to quote abraham lincoln excellent to each other all right so ladies and gentlemen prayer for the fat man. The old guy and miss dass yourself as always. Thank you for listening i.

vigo mortenson japan olympics melanie netflix Jonathan charney james the fatman stevens rob csi vegas castro gill grisham sarah seidel Ms adesina michigan jessica Jeez vallon longa don shirley db rob Yeager meister
The Mandalorian S2E7: Chapter 15 The Believer

Capes and Lunatics

1:08:07 hr | 9 months ago

The Mandalorian S2E7: Chapter 15 The Believer

"This episode of capes and lunatics is brought to you by tweaked audience awesome headphones good at tweaked audio dot com and use the coupon code southgate to get thirty percent off free shipping and a lifetime warranty where he can get there through the link on our website. Southgate media group dot com sweetheart. He is will come once again. Cool stream aim your host cherney professor esser and with me as reasons me skinny rich friend. It's mars mazi. Welcome back to full steam ahead. Tonight's episode the The mandalorian the landlord the mandalorian season two episode. Seven the pinocchio episode. Take a drink after fifteen the believer to move against the empire. The mandalorian needs the help of an old enemy. Rick some hugh some mui someo familiar wa. Is our director already. This week are of course rick some so iraqi. You need to tell. Imdb to put up station exterior name. john farrell. He because he is and of course he gets so ricketts. The written by john gets created by inquiry yours. You costs gets the based on star wars by man. Okay so this is you know like i said i've said this before that it was sort of the you know. The first one was the magnificent seven kind of dirty. This dirty dozen episode. Although i he doesn't episode very few people die or so. That's good unless you count like everybody on that base at the end well but no individual death and no non stormtrooper dads because they know what to be fair. You know if nothing else it. It wraps it all back up and There's actually an interesting aspect in that. Which is the idea of. Okay oh man. There is so much to unpack in this episode. It's just so. I get it at the my favorite episode by far so far. Oh yeah i mean. It's it's hard for me to ever pick a favorite because it's even as a fan. It's like picking one of your kids. You know this this like that and that no one really hits this part of me in. Oh but that one. That's that part of me. You know for me it becomes easier. Because i'm just waking up to star wars. Now i was never really a big fan back then. And i'm a huge bill burr fem. And the fact that you know not only that he was in it but that he that he used the opportunity well he acted well. The character was written well for him and it all came together and made sense for the story and you were glad that he was a part of it old. You know we have not seen him right and they used him as a vehicle to have that conversation you know is the empire the same as the new republican bubble. Bob the point he makes like you know. Somebody's gotta be controlling. Somebody's if you're over there you're part of them if you hear your part to him and that's a conversation that was cake right. I took the exact opposite. How interesting so. If i may so by having him have that conversation and he is forced to answer that question. We have the luxury to to pontificate about it and have conversations about in that moment. He had to make a decision. Does he believe what he was saying or does he in that moment realized okay. This is a little bit worse than just people ruling people. This is a little bit worse us exactly. And that's the point. I've been having that conversation with myself. Throughout this whole thing is that are they trying to say that one oppressor is the same as the other browser and then that forces us to have that conversation had resolution to it by saying now. They're they're they're Quite a bit worse and to be fair. The real debate of the entire series isn't and this is this the conceit of star wars. It's not is one oppressor worse than another oppressor. It's is someone who oppressor and someone asking you to come along and isn't actively trying to impress you. It's this is the this. I mean not to get too political but this is essentially what you get when you get into the whole you know. All the political parties are exactly the same. But it's like well. No one political party is saying people shouldn't vote one thing people. Should you know. Maybe you agree that some people shouldn't vote to be a lot of people. Think that an argument to find any nuance in exactly and then the other person says look. I don't know that everyone should. I don't know if they're going to make the right decisions after all as we saw in episode three this is other republic falls to thunderous report applause. And that is the that is always the counter argument of ironically the empire. Just everybody vote. They're just gonna they're gonna vote in oppressors. The that is the that is that is the least of something better comfortable with your station. Yeah exactly we you know. You're under the oppressive empire you know you're surf and you're willing to work within the shoe willing to swim within the mud you've been given but i'll never lie to you about it exactly as we have seen. Historically there are many people that are like you know what. I'd prefer not to be lied to and to be fair you know. My mom was a die. Republican always said you know you. Here's what i'll tell you. Everyone says you know taxes are gonna go. Go go up. They're gonna lower taxes but you know whoever do or are the republicans and that was actually only in the eighties because they lower taxes in order to restructure taxes so that taxes got lower across the board but mostly at the top so it was sort of one of those kind of things that sort of the the convolution of the argument is that you know you still got to actually do the job of a government and you know what it is but weathering real world socks. We're talking about fun fictional politics and in this episode so for those of you haven't watched it remember masefield. We saw at the end of the last episode. Because of course Darren gin or did jaren at that. Makes up. didn't jaren needs the assistance of an imperial to access information on how to find moschetti in ship and the own imperial. He knows what he just put in prison. Which is kind of. It's almost like a forty hours kind of situation here. We've got to get that you need the criminal to help you solve the crime. So we're can get him out of jail to work together and we're going to this one of the things that is great about this zillow. Everyone realize that until just now that you. Oh yeah that's like forty dollars. You know where you have to get the prisoner out of jail to help you solve the crime which is a trope. I mean you get the same thing in midnight. Run even at the end with this. Which is like you know what. I did what i said it was going to do. And we're just going to say we're going to call it a quint we're gonna call it quits at the end He gets me field out because you need someone that can access them and of course you know because now that she picked up the badge which man. I'm sorry. The new republic needs a bureaucracy. Needs to be an end twenty-seven three form that you get a batch fight. Okay well you you. Everyone says you're relatively respectable. You used to be soldier. Have a batch it with his have all access to everything in the new republic. Maybe you know it's like wow good thing good good thing. She was trustworthy. You know maybe there was a scene beforehand where she had to sweet talk the war that we didn't get your and the joy was given orders by the way I love the the use of droids in this well in in that first because there is this it it goes to that question about the sentence of grades and how far this is good and this was actually something i realize i'm gonna get into. There's more next next episode. But i get the feeling astronomic Droits actually have organic parts. Which are these astrum xhosa. The are two and are five units. You'd think they have organic arts. The be i think they haven't organic partner them thing. There's a thing that's implied in in the next episode. That realized that. Oh oh that's what they're suggesting there about the because you know it goes into this idea of Basically why you needed baby. Yoda were why you need grow goo for genetic material if all you actually wanted to do was build robots but that was just a side project that was just the the no it's connected it's connected and i think that pharaohs writing some interesting deep lore most likely with lucas's approval because i think that this kind of pitch that if you made the lucas go yeah cool. I can see that. That's the thing with lucas. Actually think lucas. He says he has these big plans but they're always very loose and if someone else does a story go round with him. And you give them a good pitch. I think he's going to be like yeah totally. I can totally see that. You know which is the mark of a good writer of a person who wants to make something that lasts ages is the willing to say. Yeah okay. let's listen to the fans assumed everyone else says. Let's let's take the best parts and let's make something good but anyway but in this moment so in this. We have some very very as we as tristan would tell me right. Now i'm being racist. Some clan corre- droids. I know Clinker is what they call the stories in in the clone. Wars story I'm because they are they're they're robots in and they are very much inorganic in very structured. In how the behaviors so my take on the guard. Robots is that they are the least. They're designed to be the least humanoid of all the robots that they are put there to essentially follow orders so that there's no nuance to their their interactions. As you know they're like edco nine. You know you have five seconds to comply four seconds to comply and that is the that is the structure that they're based at now. We've seen many other drugs. That are not like that much more complex programming. But i think that when it comes to the idea of guard robot you want them to have no. Subtlety to like nubia was not a guard robot. No archer was not okay. Restroom mac right. So then you're saying guard. Robots are not humanoids. they're not guardrail. But we see the guard droid we see has no the only the only responded it almost sounds like a tiny wrecks men were they have prerecorded words no no in influx station. And i don't think they are. I think they're designed to not have that deeper in her life and gets to the central the central problem with basic robot rebellion questions. Which is that when you have. You can make a robot that doesn't know it's aware you can make a robot that is that you can make an artificially intelligent robot that can do a lot of things but just knows to do it things and it can adapt in. The sense of. This is how i deal with this thing. And this is how i deal with that thing and to be fair. That sort of what people wanted with that with the with the ultimate robot deaths trooper. You know as you'll see in the next episode okay tristan. What is your question loudly skin playing by things you finding you do that fight program. Save them they well. That's the idea. And it's about how complex you program that negative feeling and because for what it's worth that is the century absurd observation. Is that the robot have or the droid because they're not real that situates How much you droid to interact with. Its environment and be affected by its environment and the thing about the guard. Robot is you. Don't want him to really be affected by his environment. At all you want him to basically be able to see a bean. No that is being one one seven nine three to four and make sure one nine seven five three two four seven five three to four is supposed to do and hopefully not die will. It's doing it. That is the goal of that guard robot. So that ghar about doesn't question anything so when when our jumper shows up it's just like okay. These are the orders. You're going over here what we're doing. There's no debate. There's no questioning. there's no what do you want this guy as we see when when mayfield comes along it's like what do i get so i do this. Now go free. It's like no you get a better view. Yes that's the thing and of course within this we this we get the the the idea of what what we're really talking about because we go to the other and i found it interesting because when so a condensing of pot lines here they go there. They have this very unstable thing they had to transport which again is a great little classic trope. I actually just run all travel the other day. We're basically you have to travel a highly volatile substance across a rough terrain to another place and not have it blow up before it gets there. You do this with metric. There's a great bogart movie about that. i forget what it's called but yeah basically it's it did the idea. Is your classic suspense. Just done a small bit of this but it is what we're getting at here. Basically this has been chosen for imperial domination because it had this element radium. Yeah i mean. I don't think it was a real element. I'm just what they called it. Yeah yeah it was called something that explosive mcgovern it. Macguffin neom An element okay. For maybe was rhythm is actually in a an element. Yeah so. I don't think they said it was already him. I'm sure they said it was like Or or radium or something like that or you know but basically it's meant to it's meant to give any radium for what it's worth. I'm sure is somewhat volatile as is radium You know i'm sure it was. It was a word that was chosen. Show that it would sound to your ear like that. Does some dangerous stuff. You're pointing out of the ground. They're like unobtainable. Yes well known. Mtv sounds like up. Today's quite frankly who right exactly. I can't believe they went with this. I didn't write that film. I didn't read any soames but in this one. So that's the idea. So they they realized that they basically hauling these trucks into the base for process. They have to get into the base. Mayfield of course is going to go on it. But then they say then he basically says listen. The jumper can't go because they're gonna scan you once you're in there. And if you show up on a republic database cigar know who you are and you know because it's run by basically the kgb of the empire if you have a record yeah exactly yeah well if you have a record with the empire or your record with the new republic you know obviously if you were in the red rebellion you're going to you in a flash. She was in the rebellion. So you. You actually have this thing and i love that. I love but with that. I think they might. They might recognize. My face is what it is so mando has to do it And it's like you know he. He says he'll do it because he realizes he can. Put on the other guys armar face but this leads to that basic thing with us that that may feel the same throughout the episode which is like you know it seems everyone has a line until they have to cross it. And here's the thing this setup as a classic were not so different you and i kind of trope which is with the with the villain says chew you know which i don't know it. It's more of a as as the person who's been through it and been broken by and at a certain stage in your life you get to the point where you question the beliefs you how most dear and it seems like john has not reached that place and this is simply somebody who's been through that place reaching out saying hey listen. I mean i know you're going to get to this realization eventual without eventually. Because i see it happening right now. Look at you like a stormtrooper. You said you can't take a really quite cancelling facing alma. He's asking him interesting questions as someone who's had to ask himself those questions that you know that his facade is breaking out prepare for because he's a nice guy well but see the thing is i think we're the failure in that argument comes. Isn't that the his thing ever. I think about a lot of really good stories. Is that our main character isn't really the main character. And really this mayfield story right right. And this is macy. In so when mayfield says oh yeah. Everyone has a line. They won't cross until it comes time to cross it. Would it really is about is mayfield. Sort of foreshadowing the realization. That he has to cross the line. He felt he would never cross. He has essentially join the that he has to do it. Just yet. I have not yet not yet. But this is the foreshadowing this the foreshadowing. This is were so. He's trying to make mando si see. We're not so different. We all have these big ideas until we have to do what we wanna do. And what the real depths of it is with the real depth of it is is that you know the mandalorian is doing that. Dr jaren is doing that. Or didn't jared jaren didn't jaren is doing that. he is coming to understand. His understanding of the world is different than it should be But this is mayfield. Story mayfield is the guy. Who's the he's the cynic right percents kits. The you don't know what it's like. I was there i did. This did that. But then it comes down to this basic thing where it's an interesting parallel when you get to his old commander. Because that's that's the big reveal is like the he realizes that his old commander whose name i'm forgetting something like that it was. It was very nasty. Sounding name The va veteran has villain has played by the fantastic richard break Excellent character actor vallon has so or the villainous. Nazi is what his name was meant to be right right right. It's pretty much an anagram fort. Yes a while has in that moment like he has decided to cross a line that he thought was a core principle of his being. I don't make waves. I you know do the things in order to survive. I don't put my life on the line for silly things. Know i'm looking out for myself interests. Nothing is bigger than me. Surviving does no bigger ideal morality. Whatever in that moment he has to cross that line but he's already comfortable with that because he knows that's kind of risen easies comfortable shifting his lines and that was the whole he's been trying to make a line rose but no no no. The real line he crosses is at the very end. That's what i mean. Note when he blows the base. Oh interesting 'cause what he just did is murdered. Ten thousand guys just like him even think about that but he just every guy every soldier just guy like him another muka in two percent rise. Establish it in. This is the thing these balan has did empire or just just because the empire can't be allowed to rise again. No but that's the thing it's like you know. I was cool with you guys into your said it out loud and this. This goes back to that thing. I always say about the boys. You know when when storm front says people. Just don't like the word nazi it's like. Yes 'cause we know what. Nazis her once you actually say always want to do is be nazis away that from history class. I remember that the bad guys. No we don't want that and it's only a delaying of the same eventual outcome. Because eventually you'll ruin another word and then you'll have to find a new word to hide behind and then you're willing to but but but but the fact of the matter well first of all. I don't think here's the thing. I don't think those words really get ruined as as easy as people say no. But you can't use nazi in any other term bad these days my point is right or whatever they wanna call themselves. Eventually that will become the name you can't say because at the heart of it your bed so the name really doesn't you can hide behind a different facades every time but eventually that will fall to you know. Yeah exactly we'll exempt because it gets down to that point where someone wants. Here's the thing evil people want. You didn't know there. He is evil. People don't think they're bad they want you just to accept that what they want is the right thing so the issue of the doctor. Doom comic book came out recently. Which is a on. it's such a. It's such a great arc but reminds you why doctor doom is literally the worst person to ever exists. Cusi literally destroys entire other universe just because the person of the version of himself in that universe actually was kind in decent. Yeah and of course the universe was doing because he actually used his powers for good and in order to use his powers for good he had to not be a murderous sociopathic dictator. Who said my way. Or the i am the only one who knows what's what's right. He had to actually work with other people for the. How did that affect him. But what what sense did he feel that precipitated bills. 'cause there was a person who had his face who that's it that's it that's literally it 'cause doctor. Doom is a horrible horrible. Doesn't even make any sense if you can't be that evil unless you're smart smart be there's gotta be some good waiting i well. Here's the thing there's a lot of so you look at something like hell nine thousand or every robot but apocalypse story. It's super smart because it can do the one thing really good but it can't do all the things that needs to do to actually achieve. Its goal you know. Think about something like sky nut. It's like yeah and they're still freaking chasing connor that there's still no matter what the skynet does. It can't stop the rebellion. Eight can't stop people from just died. We're like some kind of fungus it just keeps growing. You can't kill us. We're we're with the mammalian version of kudzu home. And that is that is the story of skynet. and that is the story of every smart villain. Isn't that your villain. Because you can't empathize with human beings. But i should about empathy. Did they seem to be so many strategic benefits to having like this. Universal is a good version of you. You don't know what the dynamics of the universe our comrades meal or whatever may be disguised down this strategic benefits avenues version of spiders. Just as roma's slow versions they would never get rise to the level of power that he's supposed to be at so it seems like a bad coma story john to me. Well see but the thing is well first of its comic book. So obviously the the the the rog schroeck morality tales at their core. Using if you actually look at historical precedent you see a lot of guys like dr jim race to incredible power for a short period of time because they usually rest but they're falls are usually lead to buy complex in interesting situations. Not just because. I feel like being whiny little brag i i. It is the way they fall apart. You know it's it's basically you know that's the thing usually thing i will tell you right now. Trump could have been two presidents very easily only had to do was not be the worst human being ever literally like he actually could have sent their 'cause he didn't really care about running the country in a certain way he cared about you know lining his pockets which most good political bosses do. There's nothing wrong with that but most good political bosses know that. If you wanna live in your pocket you gotta keep a broad base of diverse people. Happy to keep other people happy. Because he doesn't have that empathy. That says you need to that makes happy. But that's my that's kind of my point like this is doctor. Doom would never been a second term. You know what i mean. If he was sort of emotional he would never have gotten a second term. How did he get. There is not a democracy but whether you're dealing with the chaos and the unpredictability of democracy gas unpredictability of finding powered any structure. There's going to be consequences. were being so like. is there regular democratic election. i'm. I'm just saying you will see that people here is it is it. Is it easy. No it's it's terribly unwielding. No but if you look at silence. Silent was objectively evil petty vain and destructive on a lot of levels and basically had to die out of office that is that is true literally just because exactly and he he would have never if he was prone to make dumb decisions like that just seems like no no because he did wrote rise to power making decisions like that everything he did. It might have been able. But i don't know if i'd say it was dumb right because he was but but the thing is this is of course he's destroying. It's just a completely other random universe. It just seems to me that if it's not bothering you this certain ways to play it if you're at that level to use a smart if you're smart and empathetic if you have to do with it it's just it is because it's your. It's your emotional. Iq it should not your q high e. q. You can actually be way more successful in life. I don't you think he would have had a high q. To be actually as it turns out a lot of people with high. Iq's don't always have a high q. frigging what's his name. Psoriatic newton one of the highest. I q is the world's ever known completely horrible person has was is it turns out that just just a real difficult person to have to deal with because even though he's the smartest person in the room if you have to make sure people know you're smartest person in the room that means you're probably not that smart either that or these are By people that weren't smart enough to see what he was talking about. News probably frustrated with. We'll yes but exactly but what did you start to get. You have to suffer fools. Gladly i do not suffer fools. That it's like why they're fools. Why don't you suffer them. Fools what are they gonna do. Be foolish it you okay. Would you like some pudding. Full full was a yes. I would love putting. I'm putting it's delicious so give the fullest putting and suffer them gladly does if they make your day better than your day is better. And if you're trying to control the universe that might be helpful to suffer that full gladly because if doom had suffered the the good doom from the perfect oral universe where everybody's working together and advancing technology and society exponentially. Maybe maybe you said. Hey bro over here. In six hundred six yeah. We have a hard time getting along. Everyone always remembers all the bad things i did. Or either that or he could go and take this trusting guy out and then takeovers universe navajo new university takeover of completely unsuspecting populace. That think you're this great guy. Imagine how much fun that would have been for somebody in there. That was the problem. Is that guy who did he kill the whole planet. Where i'm just saying well. That's the e that would take subtlety and it was in the. We have this great. That i don't want to stop but the thing about this book is and this is the thing about dr. Do in this. It wasn't that this existed. It was at this do kept on questioning him and to be fair. It was actually the low. Iki you in the good too. 'cause it was a good do who should have been able to read the room said. Don't keep on trying to convert him. Don't keep on proselytizing did they. You know you're a sociopath you know. He's a sociopath. Don't try to prove you're right. Let him be impressed by what you have and just say you know if that's that's where you're at now. That's an interesting wrinkle. now now that don't show leading. The ultimate nullify. Written do is the worst in every universe even where he's the best version of doom. Still the worst okay. Getting back to the met loins but yeah but this is. The big reveal at the end is that so. Essentially what happens is mayfield. That vallon hess's in is the commander of this space. He worked in develop s. Now truth be told and this is of course mayfield's nature. He doesn't wanna put himself on the line. Is you're going to recognize you as i don't know but he might. I don't want to take that risk for valid because for mayfield. It's not worth it to risk your own life when you don't have a reward right right big enough to guide him risk online to when he actually sits with belen hess because of course. That's what happens. Is that right now. and this. what happens is he's sees Didn't didn't jaren violate his most sacred oath and you can see this because essentially the machine has to scan your face and ford. It's worth of course men. That's just weird. It's looking for who you are just making sure you're not someone that's supposed to be here. It doesn't know who you are as well. I guess to new recruit right right right but to be fair given that this. That's how the police work they print or you know the digger if you don't ever want nothing to go right there so i mean yeah well the well. The difference is is that it basically. It's it's bad internet security. I wish we had like nord. Vpn sponsoring s was. That would be a great lead in this. We don't have any sponsors like those guys so f them never use nord vpn because they're not a sponsor. I know anyway but the point is is that you know. It's just looking to see if you're someone who doesn't want to have as part of the story But if you're okay then it doesn't care who's accessing it So he accesses. He gets information and he takes the helmet off me okay. He's no living thing can see me in. It's it's always that spreading it out starting at what what what is what is the law. Does the law say this is lost. Hey that and thinking about you know any legalistic religion. Judaism islam is even catholicism. There is this idea. Okay there are canon lawyers. Say what does the lot actually say. And what does it mean. what does it mean. it's going to be like four different opinions. No matter who you ask not really looking to find out what it means are looking to find out how i can possibly interpret. His toes are looking well. That's what they're looking to do. I mean they're intent. There is how can might choose but in in the little spaces in between or the art or the counterargument as a religious person. I will say were the is. It's about looking beyond the letter of the law's written. Oh leonard go in that direction. But then there's the other example like you know you can't use the phone on this thing that they have that As a machine you can buy where the phone is always dialing and then when you hit the button iraqi stopping it from dialing and all these things that people do to sco lake and those are not meant to you know and lawyers particularly productive wars in interpreting the rule of law that usually becomes about how i can interpret the law to help me because the words of their. We're not looking for the truth. We're looking for is how can i use those words. Debate might you. Which is which is the which is the counter argument which actually is think gives you that nice again that dichotomy between the empire and the new republic whereas they both have laws and they both have rules. But you know that's the thing is if you go into an empire an imperial court of law. It's not going to be justice because the imperial quarter of law is not based on justice. It's based on rules could could've laws based on the idea of justice. Now that justice can be corrupted. Certainly it always has been and always will be that anything good. We'll be corrupted but if your goal is simply to corrupt that is where the failure comes if you come in saying. The world is corrupt in so i will simply be corrupt. Which is what. Essentially valentine says. More than that doesn't he doesn't say that that it's not it's not that he's being corrupt because he has no choice because the world is corrupt. That's the only way to manage it up. What he's saying is we're doing it for our benefit. Somebody's gotta get all and and to be fair. That is from so let. Let me put it to you this way. Lettuce say within this force within this universe within this galaxy there is a morality called the force and the force is. Morality is the force flows to all things all life feels the force err go all life is part of the force the moment you say my control of the force meaning. My life is more important than all other lives and then to say my life as a part of a single pyramidal top life meeting the emperor more important even as an esoteric concept is more important than all other lice. You are in a place where you are not honoring that force you're not honoring the existence of life and that is the idea. Is that if you are part of the force and you are with the force then. You must recognize the value of all of these teams. Can't divorce be interpreted by dark side. Roy isn't that just a dark site but that's the thing there's not really dark side in light side of the force none of that's just that's what i mean it's not. The forest isn't a morality. It's just something that is used in dark raises well is that it is allowing your naked element to be used by acid morality the concept that also would not the light out in the dark side. What you're talking about is these seven virtues and the seven deadly sins which essentially a shorthand about what was a sin image evil europe and so essentially what it is you know everyone says you know say hey is his christianity gobi. Good so okay. How do we do that is. The force isn't inherently good. No the force is the force is inherently so for good evil are our concepts are concepts. Yes but when you talk about what the force what. The connection of all things are there are things that are going to fall on the side of betterment for living things and worsening living things so when you look at something like this seven deadly sins you'll look at gluttony now. Does that mean that every time you have a good meal. You're being sensible. No but if you make your entire purpose to simply eat a good meal or take more than you need. I think it's the metaphor they win. That's not as to. It's like you know you look at it. Gusta scoop it's you know. The he takes from others he. He eats a needs needs. Although that's always a question about what it's really saying. I think it mostly rolled out. Doesn't like that kids. Because he was a fat kid himself. But i think it's indicative of an indulgent nature. That young is not taking into account the things around you and only focusing on selfish things. That's what it points to and exactly that. Say if you're going to be this being that it is not so being. A glutton isn't Sinful gluttony is a deadly sin. Meaning it is a sin that can lead you towards death death of your soul and likewise the virtues which you know purity in piety and yadda yadda they are things that can lead you towards a virtuous life of but in fact if they are taken to excess will make you into one of these bible thumper shoe says let's kill the whatever who's i've decided they're not godly enough and it's like well clearly. That's not what was being said. You're just supposed to do this other thing and find a balance as as we say. The whole point is to find the balance in the store. And i think most people are mistaken about the fact that you have to help the world fight bounce. You have no responsibility to do that. you're only. Responsibility is to find balance within yourself. The all right. Don't worry about all these other things yourself. I think that's the the the the real lesson that nobody is being nor the jet is nor the because like even the jist of nature has a purpose. You know what. I mean for aspires to wipe out. Lonzo needs yada yada. This sort of thing. Mass diop's happen So other things in common the natural part life so if we are here saying that you know the empires taking over and that's unnatural quote unquote thing that we need to rectify. Maybe that's arrogant as well. Here's what i'll say the empire because so here's what will say the average person most likely embraces balance by it The huts probably embraced balance. More than any other species in the galaxy with possibly. Maybe the tackles goals. And you see this with with Jabots interaction with hot where he cuts on all kinds of slack because he knows han is a is a person. He's not trying to hurt java. He's not trying to hurt anybody he just wants to keep himself safe anki other people's as and he knows that you know 'cause as i if if you go back to that first episode episode one the holding is he dumped weapons who is honoring weapons to. He's bringing weapons to the rebellion. Which because that's the only other that's the only other market for weapons it when you think about it. It's like there's a market for weapons who needs weapons the empire and the rebellion. These are the two forces that need weapons and probably some gangsters here in there. But you know let's be honest. The big the big people buying weapons right now are the rebellion and the empire. The emperor you don't need to drop the weapons you bring to the empire. So when he dumps the weapons. It's because which is what gets upset because he disrupted the the flow of trade. But more importantly jared selling weapons to the rebellion. Jabba is not saying. The rebellion is good or the empire is saying what is the flow of commerce. What is what is balanced within my own life. And what is the balance in everyone's life you know because moral obligation is not on him he simply saying. Hey you speak you. Tell me what you want. And i'll move goods along this way or that way this. This is the moral. The moral implications of this action are on you. I'm simply a facility. Exactly exactly but then you have that moment when you are macy's and you realize maybe i'm part of something bigger and better and maybe if we just leave is he kills the guy who's who he sees as the bad guy but he knows that bad. And here's the thing. His cynicism give some the insight to know vallon has isn't the only villainous nazi in the empire so in that moment when he shoots shot at the end he does. He's not worried about being the same as zone announce no he he is. He's understanding is. Sometimes you need a has but you leave. Ellen has for good right. He makes the decision that there is a good side bad side. That's the point when he's doing that. He's not doing it for aggrandizement. He's not doing it for the he's doing it for the right reasons. He's doing it to save people. He's doing it for the right reason. That's the decision he makes. There is a good and bad. It's not all the same. And i'm choosing to be on the good side so that makes me not the same as when i'm blowing up these storm troopers exactly what you know. I'm sure is cold. Comfort to the families of the stormtroopers. But i'll ask the thing will be there. This is not like it's not like any of those stormtroopers weren't destined to die. Within the next week there are very expendable. So it's not really loud on. They probably had at least a couple coupla years. That's very generous with the speed at which they're comfortable dining i got. They signed a letter that saying. If i died my family gets the well they actually goes to one of my most fascinating aspects of this basic human supremacy of star wars when they go through the village and this is this is like an africa they go through the village and you get the cds. People being oppressed doesn't matter who's in charge. Eddie atta those are all humanoids. But the pact what they call the pirate discs who are not pirates. They're clearly people trying to blow up the stuff all clearly. I'm guessing native aliens because no group of aliens would be this committed to just 'cause it's not even like they're stealing this sauce right there. Were stealing it right right right right up there. They're trying to make it too costly for the empire to continue to occupy. This senate doesn't interesting that there were no humans in that group obviously because we had to kill them and so we don't want to be killing the good guys as we don't wanna be killing humans after we're saved by the stormtroopers interesting kadhamy. They made visually 'cause they had was. They headed group. I'm guessing indigenous beings from this planet. Who are really waging war. I'm guessing those. Humans are probably the humans that were brought here colonially and impressed into the mines. Oh wow so. What's interesting is were sitting there thinking. These humans are oppressive. Maybe deb part of the oppressors to to these within what they are is there. The settlers people is there. Is there a big difference to the natives to the natives no but to the settlers certainly because as a settler frog lady interrupt you especially because it always ends up becoming a thing about degrees. Well everything's degrees. That's the thing about balance it's it's not or it's not it's not it's not zero one. It's a lot of different levels. And how does how does it flow as as erkin. Even though you. They are in a position where they're is like they have a plight as well. Everyone has a plight. Well of course is a plight because it's because it's a galaxy where people are trying to control it and if you have people trying to control things it's always going to be difficult rather than letting slow the human settlers. It's not even almost sell their fault. I guess but it would. It's absolutely not their fault. Probably they settled and they probably had a relatively peaceful existence with the natives. And that's an interesting point because you don't see the natives bombing these shantytown little settlements of humans. No course not because the you know honestly we know the ill. The don't wanna call me. The natives are probably we're probably mining this stuff beforehand. Now it was probably a hub of this stuff but the fact of the matter is because you have a human centric empire digging to want humanoids. Well chris ross humanoids but we're gonna want mammalian humans doing your work because at least you can. Then you can expect the racism. It's sort of why it's why they why they. Why the irish you know. It's like well. If we get the irish than we know they won't at seal the coal whether it might sell the copen at least we can control them because we can say right guy. You have a built in narrative that you can use to control these people exactly that. And that is this thing and this the problem with the empire is as much as they may say they bring order. What they actually bring his oppression. Freshen is not the same as oppression. Is you know as arthur's speaking that they will affect the same way. But you're ignoring all the other markers exactly and this i think is the glory wet weather. Mandalorian has really prot all of star wars into relief for the mass audience. I'm sure many writers did this long before it all of the novels and comics and things but right now for. Everyone doesn't read like me. You know star wars like that thing. Yeah exactly if all i know is the movies and i probably have accuview but the mandalorian is giving us this and then when mayfield blows it up. He's just that. Sometimes you have to blow up at that star. Not because every person on the death star is deserving of death. But does they're working towards something. That is not hurt. People right and and you're silently implicit in complete complice silently complicit in it and so you know it's like you kinda know what you signed up and even know like once you're in that position. What do you want me to try to stop. The desktop wants to standard by. They're gonna kill me. No no no. I you chose end up there you know. You made a smell like contract. This is a possibility that you will comfortable with even if you didn't realize that that is the contract sign exactly. I'm fulfilling the end of that contract. So get ready. Any final thoughts. Oh so found thought is that you know. Sad very sad. That mayfield career died in that attack on refinery. Horrible terrible rock breaker. Is that terrible terrible business. That yeah this is why i say you know. We haven't seen the last two mayfield. Yeah though i wanna see what more of me feel this. I wanna see now that he made his own decision And he really kind of picked a side that he never thought he would ever pick. Who is mayfield. When we get all of the seven hundred other starrewards shows. We're going to see a shoka to the patch to to rebel. road squadron. And book of bobo. Say yeah oh see. I can bet mayfield's can show up bookable 'cause they know each other and to be fair. They're going to be an on demand. Wouldn't be kind of cool to see. Mayfield as as the voice of reason and all of that. Yes yes that's where he belongs. That's where he belongs casting and it seemed odd to me at first too when they when they brought him. In the first season i get billed as much. Love bill burr. Happy to see him happy to see him act but it just felt forced if felt strange and weird and now finally sort of earned the right to be a part of this amazing world. Yeah and and i mean honestly i have to say sometimes sometimes it feels weird like the people at disney just like really writing like ten moves ahead of everybody when it comes to storytelling. It's like no no. We totally had which is also weird. Because that's sort of how. George lucas sometimes feels 'cause you know that george. Lucas didn't write all nine episodes at once her. George lucas didn't do this thing. But you also get the feeling like but he kinda knew where he wanted to go right and you definitely feel like you know. There's a nano. We're going to do this. We have a plan for this which is actually interesting. Maybe not early a plan but like knowing when what the right decision is when being present being smart enough to see me implications of each. I think we should go this way. Maybe it doesn't have to be an overarching plan that he softened the beginning but have the foresight in every fork in the road to know which the right one ones. Yeah engine o. T. along those lines you have you have. I don't know if you've seen the behind the scenes mandalorian season two. But it's a really good Documentary to watch and they have this whole thing. We're dave leoni when he talks to k sack off and says yeah just so you know. This'll probably be live action at some point or who actually says well you know this might be the first before we go to a live action version of this character. So just so. He told her that he was doing the animated what she says. So you know because you know what people who get involved in this juggernaut tend to think you know it. It's sort of like well. This could go on. So i should probably start planning for the future. If you're gonna just do it all in the when episode. now we're done are we know band is going to be more Saint pixar freaking you know. Pixar can do like enclosed stories. But like if you're in star wars marvel you should be should be taking head because someone's going to go ahead anyway. Who's actually why you know eventually made the prequels everything. Otherwise someone's gonna make it. When i die and if i die i won't have any say in it so at least if i do it now i can actually have saying it very interesting. So that's and that's the attitude you have to have if you ever. If you're ever lucky enough to be part of a big franchise realize that whatever you create someone's going to tell that story after your debt in less you tell the story beforehand so if you get the chance to write a story that you get to tell more than one story about keep telling that story 'cause that's the only thing you will have is a legacy that's my voice you andy you ellen moore who never wants to revisit his old properties. What is he responsible for a watchman. Many many other things. He actually is really great writer of amazing comic books and other literature comic books but I've i've a feud with him he doesn't know it yet. But that's okay all right any final thoughts on tonight's episode just one of my favorite episodes so far i think Bill berg got to bring that bill burn to the front and it worked And it was a great opportunity to have the kind of conversation that i've been struggling with since watching this show about Empires in government in general and ruling. And what does that really mean. And it was a great way for us to find a little bit resolution in that. So i thought it was a great episode an important episode and one that i will will really enjoyed and his acting was phenomenal. Like that moment where he's sitting and talking vallon has any. Has that moment of realization. You see it happen. He goes no emotion. And you see him struggle with that decision and cross the barrier to mega I'm going to do this. I'm gonna do this and you see him having that mommy was so good and even like subtle little moments. Where we're we're walking out in the storm stormtrooper happening anytime thing is. Oh the shame luggage you like. It really felt like he was in that moment has just like a workings of making fun of his co worker So as an actor surprisingly good for being just a comedian. Yeah he's he's he's pretty good he may have. He may have a career here. Yeah about the art of acting itself. you know in in being very self deprecating avowed being very honest about his novice Aptitude at it and how seriously takes learning and how seriously he takes not wanting to look bad and not wanting to have not done his homework. That kind of thing. You only get that when you think you're just young sort of person in a field and he has out honestly. I'm having to see how every good actor i've ever seen says that about themselves you to me. One of the i mean. I can't say this that means. I'm not a good actor but the fact that i do have to watch myself on film home where we actually says no. I can't stand myself. I get it i get it. It's a very impressive. But like to me. I even love my bad performances. You love me. Because i'm me and i'm cool allow it. Yeah but you know. But that. Doesn't i think a a good sense of self deprecation. The best tool you can have. An accurate is just realized. You're not that good at this and that's actually going to give you this but that's gonna give you the sense to be a human because you know as every human. Isn't that good at this. That's that's the key to acting and the other day was like somebody was was sort of telling him how well he was doing as an actor and he sort of brushed it off and goes listen. You know like the people who are like these characters can be somebody else. Those are the ones that are the really good actors. I'm just really playing version of myself in every scene. I'm just playing original myself. But in that way he's connecting with how he would honestly react in an emotion and he's using that relevance to bring into the seem so it's not like a prescribed thing. This is how you're supposed to ask you pretend to act that way. He's really going through the work of the emotional steps. You take to get to a decision and that a really interesting thing that he's finding that moment in it's because he doesn't think he's that good that he's doing the work to be that good and that's really really awesome and the truth. Is that every character. That's exactly what they do to. They just are good with accents with accents and you can be a character and you can work forever but really. That's the that's the main difference but in the same every version of himself. It's just what you can do. Accidents right norton minute accents. But he's religious version of it just can't get rid of that. No actually i think. Edward norton does a lot or not. I was talking about bill burr. He's just boston accent so he has to pretend to be himself. Magic can ben affleck. But he's doing okay. You just gotta you just gotta It's gotta find a lot of do. Need a guy within austrian accent. Because i can do that and you don't know what do it do the austrian accent. We'll go for it. Works you know Mazda gotta say do notice that you don't wear headphones during these and maybe it's because you don't have the best quality headphones these shows which you could get if you just go over to tweak dot com use coupon code southgate and get a discount on some really high quality audio equipment for your ears. However that's not your your best use of your time you can always go over to hunter. Killer dot com and get your brain stimulated by what is essentially escape room delivered to your house. We get a bunch of clues. Delivered new to help the The character we hope she's a real person because that'd be there's a lot of murders going on but you can help show grace solve a cold case and again you can use the coupon code southgate check out and get a discount on that as well likewise if none of that interest you always go down to our show. Click on the amazon. We go to amazon dot com by almost anything in the world. You want because it's amazon and it's gonna cost you. 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But it's not over yet at charlie esser. Let's see h. E. seer liquid to ease in the middle quality. Thank you all right. Ladies and gentlemen our rt's thank you once again for joining us. I superconductivity no. That's what the show on right. Now thank you once again for joining us. Unsorted stream ahead are show he was.

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We Made It Weird #41

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

1:32:22 hr | 4 months ago

We Made It Weird #41

"You walk made it weird with all what's happening. where does this leave you. I didn't know we were recording. Hi everybody i just wanted to say we start out sleepy but we really find. It had a great chance. Yeah this was. This was a really good one. So don't give up. Hope if we sound a little. Smokey and not smoking but foggy. Foggy smell smoke. Fog smoke bomb. Yeah smog. whoa smog. Yeah oh my god like polluted fog. We're already learning already. Knew that. Because i lived in bakersfield well. This is a great chat. I'm not just saying. I founded healing and loving and funny and fun so if you love this podcast. It's forty two. Yeah that's my age. If you love about podcasts as much as we do and you want to show your support it means so much if you wanna try and vows pick our our first pete's pick is mia on which one of my wearing. I'm wearing enroll. oh. I love this one. They're like hedgehogs hedgehogs with a hot pink background. 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That's twenty dollars off your custom plan at get sunday dot com slash weird and. Show your support of this podcast our guys. We're so glad that you're here. We loved this chat. If you get ten percent as much as i got out of it you're going to shit your pants. Thank you my love. Why did he give it. Give it get into it into it. I do mine hair tossed. Check mine now's baby. How you feeling feeding as i in good health. I'm feeling sleepy retail. I'm going to adjust the microphone sensitivity. Something i should do. And if i took this part casiraghi asli i really do. I'm only joking to titillate. Take a break and go to the bathroom and promptly mastabas. No we want input here. We are mostly. I do this for you. I love how i adjust the mic. Basically face you. And then. I'm just loud. Yeah but you would have been loud anyway. Yeah no it's not a to compensate. Yeah we're on a very weird couch. Can you looked so uncomfortable. I i'm uncomfortable. Most that couch have in my office. Which is the nissan verano. Believe it's crate and barrel verona's verona. I'm pretty sure it's the verano okay and i It's a very deep seated. My job is. I have a deep seated. Love of their sofa also very deep-seated. Yes so it's incredibly hard to get off of that. Who wants to get off account. Yeah if it's good enough you don't wanna get off is this. Is this a food folded. This is a special thing. The so we're in a guest house of airbnb that we're staying at in north of la we can say. Oh i know. I just stephen you know something about. I don't know but this catch. I wanna say is something couches generous. This is like a portable kind of like it's god's pin cushion folded in the middle. It's a tiny tiny cushion to the. You can't straighten legs out there too. I don't want to be comfortable way comedy. Podcasting it's good to be unsure can move this chair around again things we should have done before we hit record. Here's what somebody sent me. That i love. It's is this a gram or tweet. It looks like a tweet tweet. That seventy grams. Maglione maglione gen at maglione. Jen tweeted this. Jennifer meg something. Her name is so long. Slightly irreverend gets the headline jennifer met. And so she translated smash melts off star into aromatic and then back into english aramaic. For those who aren't super cool is what jesus spoke for. those thought. it was greek. Your children in is remember. Dron hebrew i laugh at you remember. This is where i just like. I heard the word. Aramaic was when i was like it. Didn't you back which sounds like kind of like cling on i'm not trying to put down aramaic or cling on. But it's very like it has like a little neck nuxie dealing and that was i mean. That's weird that they did it. I could understand using a very well. What i mean is i'm suspicious of that move because it feels like a. I don't know it feels like telling someone that the wine they're drinking once belonged to charlie chaplin. It doesn't really add value. It's sort of like it just intellectual value. Yeah that's true. And like i feel like most of the okay. This is typical gibson shots fired now or no. Those are acceptable. I don't even know if i want to say this. I'm gonna say it really fast. And then i'm gonna take it back immediately. I feel like most of the people who are going to be into. That movie are not going to be the type of people who are going to be into reading subtitles. I take it back and you don't have to take that. Just feel that you know what it's mostly. There's a way to say this funny. But i'm gonna say is mostly sounds of suffering. It's not a lot of reading. It's actually really really synchronicity. That we said that. Because when i sat on this terrible so the first thing this little former evangelical thought was this is how the ancient peoples of jesus would eat. They would eat on a very low table like this and they'd be in a reclined position. And every you brought up well. I brought to bear. Yeah that was. After i sat down. I saw the email that somebody sent me on instagram. And in that movie the passion of christ jesus. Who's a carpenter. A makes a table a high table. And they're like who's going to do that and that little one of the few moments of levity in that movie is a reference to how they would set like. We're civic allowed a table that we said that would have been preposterous. Because you'd have to make really high chairs which would have looked ridiculous. Yeah why be that high. I guess yeah. Why are we elevating everything up for no reason putting it on stilts. I think it's just another attempt to be further. Our animal side greenwich chair. Yeah is more comfortable. I love chairs five eight. This i hate how i'm sitting all right so the person who's who sent this to me dr fishman doctor fishermen no batman reference i improvise fish was named dr vichy. Okay So somebody asked me to translate my favorite song. Which is why. Dr fishman sent this to me. all-star by smashmouth into aramaic. And then back into english. Mrs our starting okay. There wants there was one who said unto me that the universe was going to cause me to tremble. That's somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. There was one who said onto me though. Universe was going to cost me to tremble. That i am not the sharpest cutting implement in the store house. She had the appearance on to me as a stupid one with her finger and her thumb perfect. But that's just that's a one. Yeah in the frame of greek gamma upon her forehead. Oh my god hold the year start coming in do not cease from gumming. Oh don't do that now. It's in to have to find the years where we're gonna go fed fed into the axioms and i fell into the earth and ran i. God was not acceptable. If not to live for the sake of pleasurable things your brain and cruises increases wisdom but your increases at stupidity. Pass a great amount to do a great amount to therefore there is no difficult problem. If we take the streets of the backside you will not know if you do not go toward you will not china if you do not glow pretty good behold currently you were. You're entirely as star child. Who power go. Laugh we get your game on. Go play interesting. Behold currently or a master of the music begins singing. Acquire your wages. Thank god that sparkles is gold comments alone shatter the frame very beautiful her instagram well. Now that's just the maglione jen on twitter love. How credits for her. I know i'm like i've been in the stun. Yeah it's so hot one hundred bucks. It's one hundred ten degrees. It's not really. It's one hundred degrees. I'm just feeling mellow yellow. Yeah me too. I really wanna get your body. Come to hear that we sit on the ground. That'll be better. no i think. Just pull this out and then you can straighten your legs. That's not what's happening. I need to be near the microphone. Okay all right. don't worry i'll be known sedan floor was. I'm gonna read from in that chair again. Here is not. That chair is not for me. how do you know. did you set net. Look at that share. I share warhol atmel sitting crosslegged in a light slack. I think they sipping cosmo made of gasoline. But he loves it. I think the you eight looks like it would be surprisingly comfortable. The world is not made for me. Valerie beds are too short shower. He said i just wanted to riff on it. I would be too big for this world. Oh that's nice area. Go too far from the microphone. I look at the lines. I think i think you're right. Do you wouldn't find when i talk. And then when you know valerie. It's like a richter scale. That's me walking in the other ones. You walk in a large a large man. We were looking for questions and we didn't really find any. We found so many sweet messages. you got the sweetest lovely kind people and so many beautiful recommendations like thank you all. I we even. If we can't reply to all of them. I do often look up the books and podcasts. That that you all recommend. And i really appreciate it. You're i accepted that. So i thought that they would show up. I did get a couple book. Requests the ours. Be ours. That i thought might be interesting to other people and i wanted to give the people the credit but i might just have to say i know one of them went for body embodiment and stuff. So i already asked you. Yeah like a book recommendations for if you wanted to learn more about embodiment. One that i haven't read. His amazing is. The body keeps score. Which i can't remember who that's by the hunting premise. Yeah it is. It is true the other one is all i can give an update on a family vacation gate brought to mind remember last week. I was so stressed that my dad very kindly asked if we wanted to go on this trip. And i. It didn't feel right to me and i didn't know how to say no and then i talked about all the stress that that had and so body keeps score the next morning i woke up and i my shoulder was all fucked and i'm like wow it's really crazy when you get into that vow frequency and you just you kind of assume that you slept on it wrong but i really think you are pushing it out of your head. You don't want to think about it. So that's what i always think. Like if i have a song as i did. Last night looping in my head over and over i had dictated mattel phone which i heard in a grocery store. Mu even say is an assault assault. You said your role is in my head forever. Yeah it will be and it showed up. Just as i was getting sleeping closing my eyes and stop alands carolina. I don't mind it is a good song. And that's that's kind of how i dealt with it last night. I was like a dog is running for you whistle for it okay. I'll just rock out to the song it's fine and don't resist yield and surrender and i think it worked because i fell asleep usually if i have a song looping in my head and this goes to the shoulder pain. It's not that. I just happen to have a song stuck in my head. It's because my brain doesn't want to think about something so it will go like. Here's the stop calling. Stop calling song so it's actually what we're always saying. Is that like anxiety even like on the verge of ocd. repetitions can be a self preservation or model. I don't really understand why my body will absorb the pain of my head and turn it into a knot in my shoulder What the motive is there other than these energies. Just need to be reckoned with in some way or another. Yeah i don't know either exactly. I have a couple of guests though. I would think one is yours. You're sympathetic nervous. System is being activated your fight flight or freeze souvenir like your bit like protect the neck reject the next and then you're getting ten minutes. Bill doesn't know that. I'm not under trying to protect you. Yeah and then the. And who knows what i was dreaming about. Yes the other thing that can be so psychically heavy about these. Seemingly benign situations become like tiger chase dream so interesting. Yeah the other thing. I would think is You know just that your body is trying to send you a signal that you there's something to that needs to a feeling that needs to be felt so that out totally to that i. I got gas the other day. And then i licked my hand and it tasted like gas and i said to my body i was like. I don't know if this worked or not but i went. Look we're about to go. Hi down so i'm going to spend all this time listening to you so you don't need to get me sick whether or not. This is like literally factually how things work. I don't know but i am aware of phenomenon. Steve martin writes about this in this book to when i have something i have to do. I won't get sick. And then when. I do have time to slow down and i'm not planning on slowing down often. My body will make me sick to flatten them out. Like phantom thread. But it's my own body feeding me poison mushrooms. Yeah i also wanted to say even the having the song in your head to prevent something that you don't think about. I think is our bodies great wisdom and i reminded this week that i will often if i'm having like a very emotional week or something or have a really profound but intense therapy sessions specifically if there's like trauma stuff that comes up that i will almost immediately following get brain fog for several days and and my wonderful therapists jennifer madaka mentioned like that. I was really seeing that as a problem and she was like. This doesn't seem like a problem to me. That seems really thoughtful. That your mind is like all right enough yet like intake. Let's just get kinda foggy to are right in the grooves that i'm in on the on the same record. Same groove because. I've been feeling really foggy lately. And i think it has a lot to do with these conversations. I'm having with you is like not just not resisting. But looking for the underlying wisdom. That might be just another way. My body is communicating with me. So i've been like what's going on. Like i go into my brain looking for my talent which is like a site to shoot circular blade and i love it. I pick it up and cut down funny wheat tonight bring it to audiences and bring it to you and i bring a and i love it. It's a thrill it's an ego trip. It's rush and then lately i've been going up there and it's now and i'm like what's going on but because of these perspective giving chats i've been going okay. You are valid. I think the peop- with his desires and his wants and his drives is the main and most important pete and every other aspect of pitas and service that p and what you've shown me now is that no they're all they're all kings and queens in there and they all deserve their shake. And if you don't give it to them it'll either come out biologically. I don't mean like illness. I'm not trying to scare anybody but it'll come out like a cold like leads. Make him take a week off. Or i think it'll come out in the world that you'll start subconsciously making wrong choices or doing things that you wouldn't normally do to set your say yourself up for some sort of hiatus yes. I've seen people do this. Where they sabotage jobs or they or they sabotage relationships. And i think that's what happens is now. We're in our one of our favorite spots. Which is the central thing is like. You need to be unique to slow down. Yeah and that's what. I thought that weird concussion. I had that. I talked too much about to talk about here again. But that was my even my circumstances going like slow down. Yeah down to slow down and then last night leela got up at like eleven hundred eleven thirty. So we'd been. I just got on the telephone song in my head and fallen into a deep sleep and got up with her. We both got up there. I for some for some reason volunteered to older. She wouldn't have to me. Which was fine one to have a real couch you. You don't want this bullshit. No i know. And i think that's partly why was like let let's go ahead. Let's go to the line kinda gaudy basement sofa. That's what i feel like. My body is like too big too soft. It's like a man cave sofa. And you're like that. Andy warhol chair very comfortable. Very era dynamic and very comforting but Repeat tempete egg. You can't go back so anyway. I was up with there for like two hours and it was rough. It was a big big release and then after all of this rest. We've been having. And i wanna give the rest. It's do i don't wanna say the rest is only valuable because it leads to moments of Expansion contraction is valuable. Just for its own sake even if it never leads to expansion contraction can sometimes just be an energy that you have to honor for very long time and i just want to be careful of that western capitalist like oh we meditate because it helps us sleep note. Sometimes you just have to sit in this and not not. It's like bo burnham's bed. Can you just shut the fuck up for ten minutes. Can shut the fuck up for ten. And that's the point. It's not so you can be more productive. It's not so you can focus. It's not so you can have clearer more productive business relationships. It's for its own sake even when his rocky it's still fritz. Take but that being said all of this time of being foggy and then in the middle of the night led to like a really good creative idea. That is a little too good to share here. Because i'd rather share it after being made or something. But i was really kinda like look at the world. Look all that fog getting up you already got up with leila and then i got up to and then she did want me and then i was up for two hours and then rocking her. I got that space. The site was back where i was holding her but i was building a. We've talked about this before a memory palace which is how you can remember a list of many things if you don't have a pen and paper not only. Is it valuable for when you're rocking a baby. It's good for any situation where you don't have access to a pen or paper or your phone Briefly if you wanna remember like i have to. I have to get ice. And bring in. And i also have to call my mom right. I also have to. Don't forget to get that book crazy. Rich asians the way you do it. Is you visualize what a memory palace says if you're interested. I'm sure there's books about it that i've read but i can summarize it You picture what it would actually feel like if when you go into your bedroom. Which is what you're gonna do next. You open the door and ten thousand gallons of ice falls on you and you really try and imagine the shock of that like make it as real as you can. It's cold it's hard it's loud. There's ice scattering everywhere and then inside the ice you picture your mom like a kermit phone. But it's made of your mom or like mickey mouse phone minutes your mom so you have to call your mom and then you need to get the book crazy rich agents so you picture the the mom is encased in the ice and then the mom phone is on top of three asian people throwing money around but you really try to imagine how shocking it would be to see that so like imagine how loud the yelling of the crazy rich asians would be and then that that makes much much deeper imprint on you then Then just going. I have three things to. It's it's really changed my life using a lot. I do use a lot. Okay wait i just wanted to go. I'm doing we're doing the classic thing. Now where you've taken us in a million directions and i'm like wait the threads. The threat was trying to give some. That's okay. I just wanted to say back to the book recommendations. Oh sorry abi defense trying to say something interesting so people will be like. I'm glad i listen. I relaxed the book. Recommendations are not interesting on my point. Nine i'm so sorry okay. The body keeps score. And then i go same tangent and then the other one isn't specifically uninviting has the best chapter about embodiment and then everything else about. It is perfect. I've recommended this book. Several times on this podcast. But it's you belong by seven as selassie. And i've been saying her name wrong. Which is so embarrassing because she is a ethiopian person of color. Who gets her name said wrong often and talks about that. I was one of those people. So it semi selassie you belong. It's so good. And then the other thing i wanted to recommend to everyone is tara brooke. Just recently released a two parter of her podcast on embodied presence though him g the best. It's the best even if you just listen to part one. It is ma shifts kiss. It is totally a perfect summary of everything. We talk about here. Everything i've learned from her. It's just kind of like if you only listened to or consumed one thing of being of hers. This is the one and it's heard. Remember some of the points not to not to rip it off but at least you loved about it. I mean. I feel like it's there's so much that she i've heard her say before that in this was like a lot of really great new stuff. But it's just about how like the the reasons we leave our bodies and having impasse compassion for that And then the benefits being in your body and the downsides of just like always being in your head and it being separate remember. We loved the That's when she liked talks about the ant farm and farm story god now. I'm so foggy and i haven't listened. I love that an firm thing. She got her son in ant farm and then picked him up from school and he was crying because he saw kids killing ants and won't extrapolate it in the way that she did. It really reminded me until the age of i think twenty two. No i think around the age of thirteen. If i saw a squirrel getting hit by a car maybe not thirteen. I'm not saying that to defend myself but it. I don't know the age my mom. If i was on a walk with my mom and i saw scroll get hit by a car. She just knew. I was going to cry like i would. Just i would just instantly start crying. And i have a very i think probably the last time i saw it like. We saw a squirrel running in front of a car. We both knew it was going to happen and it felt sort of like and now we do this. We all know but it was the most genuine tears like it was. It wasn't a performance did to that squirrel in you are still connected to your own connection to the squirrel. Every other thing that's right and it wasn't because i had a squirrel farm and had bonded with them. It's just because it was too much. The the amount of numbing that we do to ourselves and by the way i. I'm glad that i can see squirrel. Get hit by a car now and not lose it. And i think that's probably by virtue of a lot of things knowing that there's an this is kind of strange to say but there's so many worse things happening but i think when we start building the little castle wall around the part of that sad for squirrels it blocks out compassion for even bigger human things. Like it's all one compassion. Yes my point. Yeah it's all one love. It's all one caring so it's really hard to be the architect of a system that says it's ok for cows or pigs or squirrels or or dogs or people have different lists mine. Dogs is there. It's all horrible. It's hard to architect to go like these. People are actually made that point that you and i made earlier. Which was i think. Why hate is so popular is because when you love you care and then when you carry your heart is broken constantly so it's so easy to not love poor people or discriminated groups or whatever like if a racist person. I'm going to say living in montreal. Canada because the south always get such a bad rap up living in montreal. A racist person living in montreal. You know he or she hates all of these different groups. It's not an excuse. But i think underneath a lot is because it's too costly to care if you don't like certain groups when bad things happen you don't have to cry when a scroll gets hit by a car again. I don't think that's happening consciously and it's not an excuse but we don't know how to parcel out compassion and it's too costly to just have an open heart. You can't step over a homeless person sleeping on the street in la. You can't do it. Yeah i if you're going to have any thoughts on this. And i don't forget them. Yeah so. I think that the we've even talked about this a little bit. That the can having compassion does seem like it costs too much in. This comes up a lot when when you're teaching if or learning meta practice like it's like which is the practice of compassion having compassion for all beings and jack talks about having a compassion that includes everyone including you so i think we just don't know how to have a healthy relationship with our compassion in a way that we developed this narrative of being scared of those feelings. Even the whole thing about it costs too much. Your heart will break and us assuming like vats all really bad. You're right on and told me that it was bad. Yeah exactly and that was the man up. Miss of the culture that i was raised. And i think yeah and end so you crying in the moments that you would cry. Seeing a squirrel you probably moved through it really quickly as opposed to seeing dead squirrel. Not crying about it being like there are lots of worse things thinking of all those other things and then moving on and not letting any that energy release at all and then wondering why you're not in your shoulder late. There's there is nothing wrong with having i think that that it's our natural state. And that is proof that it's natural state to have compassion for things and then in those moments we just. We were taught instead to be like. Wow you're really seeing how we share this one life with with all these beings in it is sad when we see some being suffering. Can you have compassion for the part of you. That feels that like. Isn't that so lovely. And then we get to see as we feel that sadness we get to see the beauty. That is a part of that sadness and then feel the safety that comes from that leaning into the connection that we have with all things as opposed to shutting down that sadness because that's not appropriate and then we're just we're just feeling more and more cut off and separated from other living things and from our own reaction and our own cut off and cut off and cut off until we're totally separate and feel very ill. That's the real cost. Yeah no i love. I love you just said i wish you would just say it again exactly. So sweet l. is great and it isn't too costly if we if we knew earn house and ride the rush of a feeling honor it. Yeah and get better at painting with those colors not being You know paralyzed by them or frozen by them. More unable to live your life. I guess is but but that that's the mythology is if you won't be able to live your life. Isn't it possible then based on what you just said to have your heartbreak when you see a homeless person you have to one of those terrible situation where you literally have to step over somebody. Why not let your heart break is. It's so terrible. What do you say to them at that. Yes it is. It will build up like it'll just you should think about bows and pizzas and six flags amusement park and do in our culture like i in our neighborhood like being up in ohio his and the first time we went to ojai was sort of motivated by partly motivated by the fact that the city was just getting a little bit. Everybody without all the time and and there are a lot of unbalanced. I don't know how to say that compassionately but there were people like on our street that would like were clearly. Maybe had some mental schizophrenic. Sort of style issues. That would like sort of a cost us a cost leila and we're like let's go to the country for a little while and then somebody one on the platform of helping with homelessness and then there and then a lot of those people were gone of course in this situation you go. I hope they are housed. I hope they are helped. I hope there but there's also a part of goes like are they really and like if you really cared. Wouldn't you like look into like. Where did they go when giuliani bust the homeless people to florida or whatever. The story is but we go. Isn't that how we deal with our sadness like when when a city cleans up the homeless problem where they cleaning it out or sweeping it under the rug. I know the real troubling question is do you really care. Because you doing that. With your every heartbreaking issue don't want to deal with the sadness of the vacation issue which is so perfectly and people message me about how moving it was your answer. I wish we could. That's heartbreaking. but you know what i know. I'm talking about. That's okay yeah. Look you're teaching me that it's okay to go. I wish we could is sad. It is disappointing to you and to me and i survived in fact on the other side of it. I felt more clarity and more rounded appreciation for all of the flavors of life. Yes absolutely. I think that that is. That's exactly what that's the squirrel feeling. The squirrel feeling the oneness of everything getting to the sweetness of feeling that like that is. You went through that entire process with it and we just watched leila do this at breakfast. We the way the waiter kane and put food down and leela went to touch it and the leader said and that was. She's so like us. We're exactly the same both of us. That was enough to like. Make her liquor head wind down and she got so sad. I saw her facial expression So sad and i went. It's just hot baby. We didn't want you to get hurt. And then the waiter left. And i went leila. Was that really embarrassed. And she was idea and i said i know exactly how that feels. Data knows how that feels like. I said i know how that feels said. Do you wanna hug or do you want some space. And she always space. Yeah show strong really wants peace and wants to ride it out and we had the inner and we gotta watch this and we do but like we both had the exact conditioned response that we do for ourselves which was like. Yeah yeah we were like. Do you want some fruit. You want some pancakes. Do you want this. And she was like no no. And i look at the trees. Aren't the trees pretty doing when you list them all together. It sounds like we went into a manic finishes overtime or feelings that for quite a while so then after a while. You're kind of like. Do you want some fruit. And she's like know five minutes. You want to look at the tree. The tree makes me feel. Yeah it was probably a min- between each but yeah it wasn't manic but it definitely was us trying to like make her feel better and she had the great wisdom to know that she just needed to sit and be a little bit sad and as you said that you said users need to feel sad and just like yeah. Yeah and then. I watched her. We were kind of quiet. We're eating and just sitting and quiet. And i kept checking in with her. And i watched like Facial expression and she kind of like the waiter came back over her past and she liked gave like furrow breath and she was just sitting and looking around and feeling sad and then clearly a little mad to yeah vulnerable and like that was truly like five or ten minutes past and and then i like saw her facial expression kinda lighten a little bit and then she like reached for a blueberry and the news over and it was so beautiful how she moved through it and so my response to to go back to like. If you let it all in one and just build up it'd be too much. I would actually say it's getting in whether you realize it or not. So and it's only building up unless there are a few are not letting it out and release your so is this is really the real juice right here. I love this so much and when lela by the way doesn't even have language for oliver emotion so she's feeling a pure cut of what emotions are because terence mckenna says. English language is like a virus. It's like we don't even see reality anymore. We just hang these little tags of concepts on everything these like. You're so removed from reality. Notches with outer space interspace. We hang a little tag sadness on it when really it. Sadness frustration and words. Yeah dealings with that. We don't have words for you. Need a poet to help you and also the feeling is into the word they need like. This is not a pipe. You know that painting this is not a pas and this is not sadness and so she's really probably doing even better than we are experiencing the pure feeling and letting it run. Its course. I really wanted to say a waiter saying. Don't touch that it's hot. I mean. I i just grew up in a family of strong people who could be thrown off their access in a subtle way by a simple comment. Like don't touch that. It's hot like somebody say. I could hear somebody in my family dealing. What are you my mother like that. That sort of like it becomes so much more than it was. Yeah and what is that those overreactions. What what we're talking about now is the same thing we talk about. When we talked about king we're talking about making the unconscious conscious and when you have an offence when somebody does hurt your feelings i use. The example of it hurts my feelings. When people go. But sh- i hate that. Yeah and i got to a point where i started looking forward to the next and it actually happened. And i'm happy to say that i was able to use it and recognize like oh good. It's happening smaller. Get smaller get smaller. Get smaller gets smaller. Why attack waste stapling so much to that. And you're you're judging me. You're discouraging me from making a joke. You're not appreciating. this isn't safe. Maybe they thought it was just funny. Yeah not trying to be which by the way was what we were thinking watching succession at night. The dad watches his news network. And they're telling a story about him and the bias is his bias. That was like that's all of us at night. We all watch the news in our head. That recaps are day with our bias. Top story tonight. Somebody made the developed them story. In what critics are calling a disgrace to a safe environment for humor with more joke analysis and safety instructor pat helms and then i slide in weekend update and i go and there's nothing i'm just saying what i already believed back to myself up to make myself feel comfortable and safe in my own reality which is deeply troubling saying it is the real juice is we have a couple of choices then one cry when you see the squirrel. Get sad when a waiter tells you. Don't touch that. It's hot or whatever the equivalent is for you but for me feel it now or your fucking let it overflowing in you and come out in like a radic anger. Binge eating binge porn john wick marathons. You're fantasizing about people. You hate getting shot in the face. It comes out in and out. I was listening to ritchie roar and hit such a great take on. I'll tell you guys if you guys are really hard. Core ritchie roar meaning. This isn't like a great intro to richard. But if you like theology and richard. It's called the great themes of paul and it's on itunes bookstore. And he has this great talk. It's like a of talks about sin sin is an. He has great he goes sin. Isn't you doing a bad thing and god is mad. He's like that's how i was raised. And that's how most of us were raised. Sin is what simply doesn't work blew my mind. He goes seen is whenever you try to bond with unreality and he specifically mentioned and i don't mind i hope you don't mind me telling the story i i was having one of those days where someone told me. Don't touch that. It's hot and it starts to it starts to build in me. It's a thousand of those and there's ten thousand them every day. There's always a fresh micro offense that you can. And by the way. I can hear microaggressions microaggressions shut the fuck up. Like reality is tough deal with it. I hear your pain. And i hear your fear and i recognize it in myself but i'm speaking from my heart now not my head and not my suit of armor and not even my powerful ego things are real and they have and they build up and in me. They build up in if i could give my desire to look at porn and just jacket of voice. It's no one is taking care of you. Just take care of yourself. Even though i clearly everyone that listens to this five guys knows. I have an unbelievable and safe relationship. There's still this. There's this like coding of soot in my pizza oven from past relationships. My wife leaving me all this stuff. So it's like and also just being given the narrative that your sexuality is evil and you should shit it out whenever you can and sort of disbelief that you actually like having sex with you mean because why would you like this evil thing. The number one thing. That's going to send me to hell. Why would i let you see that. I still have to work on that. So there's that happening and then there's the feeling of like the world is in safe. Take care of yourself. It's very similar to eating an entire pizza. Meaning it has nothing. It has almost nothing to do with sex as almost everything to do with saying yes to a desire. Which by the way is what i've noticed. Food is too. I don't really want food. I just want to give into a desire. So he was talking specifically about Looking at porn and he wasn't saying it in any judgmental way he was like. I'll try and quote as accurately as i can't. He's like oh he goes some of you. Were gonna go back to your hotel tonight. And you're going to get on the internet and look at. He says it so sweet he goes and look at pictures of naked ladies and i was like you are the same the patron saint of my heart and my soul you. You're going to look good pictures of naked ladies and you're going to be so worried that god doesn't like you and he goes stop it. Stop it it's so obvious. Meaning looking at pictures of naked ladies is so armee as it seems like a quick fix and at times it can feel like a quick fix. Meaning there's pictures of naked people that you can look. It's just obvious but it doesn't work he's like you can't have a relationship with two dimensional images of people on the internet and it's not that it's bad it's that's not where the life and life more abundantly is and. I said this. Jim norton went on his radio show. I was like we need to risk being vulnerable enough to let other people scratch. Our sexual itches instead of seeing them as something private that we should have the decency like the puritanical. Victorian decency do that in the bathroom. Darling i mean like what you do with your poo and you're like you animal. You beast your rang. Tang have the vulnerability to say to somebody. It doesn't have to be here partner. I'm not even it can be a casual encounter with somebody that you let you like and you trust and that you have an agreement with that makes be vulnerable enough to have some relationship with a human being with another soul was another thing that's live at the same time as you on this rock in infinity in this moment join together and be vulnerable in that way. So what happened was. I wasn't like deeply tempted but nine times out of ten. If i look at because i dreamt of i had like sex streams and i wake up and i sort of want my reality mirror my dream reality so if i have a a sex dream typically i'll either wanna have sex but then visit another voice in my head i'll go. That's not sex. you're just using valda masturbate. that's wrong you should just masturbate. If you wanna masturbate. Give you wake up horny away. That's unrelated to vow. Don't take that out on her. which again i know. I'm just trying to share the so so people your sollidarity and maybe get something out. I'm getting something out of it sharing it with you. I'm laughing at it with love that that is like as if it's wrong to use horning this just might be for the for the eroticism of nature and reality in my dreams with you. Share it with you as if any sex we've ever had. Was you taking something out on me. I would feel worse but again. It's shame it's all this shame. And i'm not well. I think i am being a victim. But i'm trying to do it in an appropriate and balanced way meaning. There is some victimhood here. But i'm not trying to use it to have power anyway I hope that made sense meeting. I'm not trying to be beta. So that i'm alpha cool that i'm sharing this. I'm trying to be true. True vulnerable anyway. So i was. I just heard him. I was in the hammock. And i was listening to ritchie and they went into the office and sometimes i just have a pavlovian response to opening the computer. The thing that sometimes makes you jisr fan. I'm gonna also write an essay on math like it's insane. So i had compassionate was like you feel that like little titillation of like. What are you going to do on this machine. That can do anything. We're just checking emails relaxed. And then i was like i had the have the urge. Just just get it. Get it out of your system and i said no because that's trying to bond with unreality that's it's not bad it just doesn't work in the long run he says you can't have a relationship with the body. He means your deck. You can't have a relationship with your dick. It doesn't work that bonding with this. Unreality this this. It's literally a fantasy. It's not happening so instead of giving in and also at the same time not being christian. Good boy resistance. What richard 'cause willpower christianity look. I was a good boy. Instead of just trying to be a good boy in resisting something to get the boy scout badge from the from god that i get the resisted pornography badge and now i'm deserving of grace fuck all that shit. I actually tried to go into spiritual wisdom and going okay. If that doesn't work what does that mean. I'm going to sit it out and own the idea that it doesn't work. Then what happens we come up here. Ohi this is the part. I hope you didn't mind me sharing and we in mazing sex and afterwards we talked about it hours later i was like i don't think we would have had that sex in fact i know we wouldn't have had that sex. Had i shot my pistol into the air as if starting a horse race. You know what i mean again. There's nothing wrong with shooting my pistol in the air. But it's not life and life more abundantly and you want to talk about the sine wave wave of remembering and forgetting remembering and forgetting that is exactly what i remember and forget remember and forget also bonding with unreality is reading twitter at replies and believing them this whole structure of unreality instagram influencers. And believing that they're better than you. That's bonding with unreality. That's the definition of sin. Yeah there were all sort of soaking in that has nothing to do with your morality. It's a condition that's happening. Yeah just when the collective unconscious is a better way to look at it. Yeah i think there's something to. I love that you shared that and you said so many beautiful things that yeah the vulnerability piece really quick on that is like it's the same thing as let yourself feel sad for the squirrel. Open up to that sadness and to the the connection and through that you will feel whole and safe and connected to everything. So the same thing goes with the vulnerability like kind of like no risk no reward. Meaning don't risk being vulnerable with somebody who who you don't feel safe with but if you feel safe and you are allowing yourself to be vulnerable with somebody then you're really going to get a much. Larger payoff like scratching an because it was actually connecting. Who is actual connection. It wasn't just like oh sex dope like we were connecting. yeah like it was connection sex. Absolutely was one one inning. It was beautiful. Yes and it can be. It can be other things but it happened to be very spiritual and very other things. Yeah and that was like we were talking about Many episodes ago the difference between like sex lake with using jerking off as example. But like of just like kind of dominating and getting done and being very masculine minded sex to the more like feminine erotic feeling all of the body parts feeling like i really wanna talk. Go ahead. I really now. I really like. I told you there was. This was a couple. This was a while ago but when we had more roddick are there is a couple bones ago. Remember what happened before that sex that you were in the hamic in in your body. And i took my shirt. Sorry everybody don't get too excited. I took my shirt off in the hammock in the backyard. We have a very little backyard. It's about the size of honda cr v. and but there's room for a little hammock that we got on amazon. I don't know i'm being so meek. I got in the hammock. I took off my shirt. I was sitting in the out. Especially as the i take ritual vitamins. Obviously they have d three but the sun is also a good place to get vitamin d. So i try to get at least fifteen minutes of direct sunlight every day so in the sun and i had like a it felt very feminine. I don't know why probably because it was embodied feeling the sun going into me My whole point is that the whole fucking universities. Erotic traveled all of that distance to penetrate my skin. Yeah the trees around me are exhaling what i get it. I'm breathing in what they excrete. The whole thing is fucking erratic and eating food masticate swallowing it dirty bird and then shitting it like that. All of it's coming through me an out of me and into me and that's what that's what the thing is what everybody is doing right now. I think you're listening to a podcast. You are in relationship whether or not you are in your unconscious or your psyche or your mind or not. You are in relationship. Yeah so in that hammock. The sun and it doesn't the only time i've ever did that. Surges like fill me with like warmth than like rana like i started to and val. I'm pretty sure my first instinct was was go off. Like i have all of this animal instinct gojra. Because that's still in me. That's that's decent people. Do i use that joke We don't masturbate for us. We masturbate for you. Meaning women because if we don't go to the grocery store and we're like like to nothing wasn't like too aggressive but just too flirty Or how we do it to pour water on the fire. That's a really fucked up way to look at the gift of sexual energy well and we're that is also the difference between like like almost like head horny and body horny or something like masculine versus feminine. Where it's like actually think the like aggressive aggressive. I mean like writing allowed car up a residential street kind of like that kind of aggressive as a head trip and yeah it's like and jerking off to take care of it because it's too it's too much otherwise i think that all comes from sexual repression i think what you in what happened inside or wannacry. I don't wanna feel horny either. Exactly it's like if i can actually open to. It'd be like what does this feel like in my body. And which is what you did and then when you share it. It's not too much or aggressive. It's very loving and open and delitzsch. No i know you mean i. It was a little too vulnerable delicious. No i'm only making fun of my my comedy instincts kick in and i'm like we should make fun of delicious but it was. Yeah if we were to if we were at the omega institute we were esselin. I'd have no problem saying it was delicious podcasts. A little bit weird. But i'm i'm only made a weird. We made a weird every week on friday. But yes i in that moment. I don't remember that. I text or something. No i think. I came back or something. I don't know this field vulnerable to be like. How did it start i. It was just such a. It was bonding with reality. And set a bonding with unreality. And what is more unreality than basically jerking off to my inner news program. Yeah the repeating story that we've run many times bouncing large breasts are deeply erotic for more on it. Here's jerky steve. I like the way they jiggle. Thank you steve. Apparently we have come and we don't need any more from jerky. Steve giggle and now. Sleepy steve is asleep on the news. Snack are all named steam jerky became i see yes. Of course. I do want to say though just to just to add in the piece that i know you have so. This is like the mindfulness weighing in the compassion wings. So yes the. Mindfulness is like is it working. It's not working. Can i channel this energy some place else and maybe not jerking off in that moment or whatever now let's introduce the compassion for for the time that you inevitably still will choose to jerk off. It doesn't work in. That's absolutely understandable. And okay there's no shame in it you're and there's this idea of like I think it's it took knock time i. I don't know the there's an old buddhist saying biggest master that says When you're sitting know that you're sitting. I'm pretty sure it's not fun when you're drinking water hun hun not I'm just saying very firm. I'm just saying taking on tig knotsberry tom. Okay so so it is kind of like. Can you just bring some mindfulness into it being. Yes oh val where if you're jerking. It know that you're jerking at emmett. Can you do it in a loving open embodied wave and and then maybe you can't jus- know that you're not like vow. This is the only reason what richard said had an impact on me was because it was completely devoid of any. Like if you don't you won. I remember my youth pastor which was a very well meaning and sweet man he said jesus as a in having going. Oh no he did it again. He's up there rooting for you. Like come on you can do it. You can resist. Whatever it is. And i was like that fucking sucks dude. I get it. Like even as i said it sounds china's sweet. Let's just because it's familiar to me. Yeah about. I don't know what you tell a teenage boy. It's difficult but ritchie's thing wasn't like that's my favorite part was like it's so obvious. Yeah relax who cares. It's not that it's bad. It's that it doesn't work and by work we lead to life and life more abundantly. So if i do it it's fine. Who cares and if anybody does it. And that's what ramdas said to me by the way boy. I'm a little bit embarrassed. How much talk about jerking it. That was clearly my issue. And i've sat at the feet of many spiritual masters and talk to them about. I asked you about it on the first time he was anyway. The i one time was on a low dose of an unspecified drag experience. And i tried in the shower to jerk it mindfully because one of the things i love about unspecified jaggi experiences in the in the hallucinogenic microdosing world. Is that it immediately. Drops you into your body. At least in my case. You don't have to try to remember that you have thighs or knees or feet. You just feel like michelangelo carved you out of stone and you're just walking around is one thing but even your liver in your stomach. It's all incorporated. What a clue that is when your brain is like given the sort of mystical assistance you become embody so because i was so in my body i was like i bet. It'll feel fantastic jerk. And as soon as i did i started being like what is this not in a bad way. It just became very clear that i was just giving dick a handy. Yeah and i was like. I'm not judging this. I just literally couldn't do it. Because when i went into my brain to watch the tv show that tells me the narrative that allows me to do this. It just gave me nothing. It just gave me just the present moment yeah whereas we had friends who have had large doses of unspecified them largest availability and they told told me a story about drinking after pornography in glorious way because they had love for everything yeah and they wanted to watch the trashy est mo- meaning not like artsy. And not just like should get it as fake as possible blown out hair mascara. Weird guy with tattoos. Just show me that. Yeah take me to the carnival. And i want to jerk off not just to the porn but to the look at the things that come out of the mouth of the endless undulating river getting includes vary neon. Bright kind of trash trashy porn. I only say trash in the way. The jersey shore is trash distorted like bright and is the b. k. Broiler of of four five six flags or not sperry pham like bronco up on ryback but mama just so much appreciation for you. I know. I know i'm talking a lot. I the only way i saw through my tiredness was to throw it into fifth gear. I didn't think two or three or four would work. I'm so here. I am in fifth gear. Doing this podcast. And i will come down after but i do want to say like holy shit note. I get lots of messages about how you're helping people and you're so wise and you're really helping me in a huge way. It's just great to live with this enlightened calf now faint says. I've lived with many enlightened beings. Most of them cats. I love that. I think you are talking too much. And you're saying some really beautiful things and and we don't. I mean i feel like we don't talk about sexuality that much maybe it's been awhile. I bet it's been twenty episodes. Yeah but it really is just one of those things. Where if you re. This is my perspective. You could really take all of these things that we talk about. All of the books. We recommend all of the stuff that we are collecting in the spiritual world and all these these deep thoughts that we have and you could really just throw them in the garbage in remember one thing which is to try and be more embodied. You're just remember your body when you forget and you'll find as i have found that everything else just sort of falls into play really agree. It's funny last week. I talked about getting more and more interested in which i've never done. But since then. I've i've been wondering like shane moss. So i called shane and he was like this goes back to the embodied. He was like just know if the people that smoke. Dmz sometimes like a week later. They'll be walking down the street and they'll be like is this rio. I know that makes you a little flipping stomach. I hope that was okay. Because there's a thing that people do make some questions. I've just gotten in the practice of going. Wait is this real. I was playing so the place we have has a pool and i was playing. Dinosaurs would li in the pool. And just that moment of going is is this real. The answer is yes. Israel is things are real and it drops me into into the moment in the same way. Do i have hands and drops you into the. We're just another. It's the same thing that i'm fascinated with about lucid dreaming which is one of the reasons why think Psychedelics are are so appealing to me. Because i love lucid dreaming. Why do i love lucy dreaming because it makes me ask while i'm awake. Am i dreaming. And when you ask yourself am i dreaming so the thing is just another iteration of am i dreaming is. It's fun. I know it can be a little bit wishy for you so i'm not going to go into it but am i dreaming. Is this a dream. And i have to lean in the sunlight going through her eyelashes. Yeah and i smell. She always smells like strawberry shortcake. Strawberry cake all doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if she shower. It has nothing fair bone to smells like strawberry exactly strawberry cake. And i smell the strawberry cake. I smell the chlorine and i feel my skin. I feel my hands the check in embodied another way to say it is. Am i dreaming. Just do right now. You could so be having a dream that you're listening to this podcast. You think you're so conscious can't do an impression of this. I pretty much say five things knows how to do. It knows vows laugh knows how to beg it. Boom you're dropped into the into the moment. Yeah am i dreaming. And richie says the whole thing is accepting. The ear accepted. The ego doesn't want to believe that the ego wants to believe that. Jesus is there going. Come on you can do it. Don't look at hustler dot net because the ego would rather have the challenge of winning. God's affection doesn't the whole thing. richard said. This many times is accepting that you are accepted that accepting the tar brock's trusting. The gold withdraws her new book and she has another podcast That just came out recently. A podcast episode. That was her talking about the book. I think it was the official book release. And that's exactly it that it's like so much just stems from this. The transit unworthiness is what she calls it when we were talking about. Go ahead when we're talking about the way that not letting yourself feel sadness for a squirrel. When i think about atrocious things that happen i'm want. It doesn't take much imagination to go. Did the person that did that. Atrocious thing and you can pick one of a million. Unfortunately it's it makes sense to me. Obviously we can't know that it probably wasn't a person that was allowing themselves to cry at a squirrel or feel sad for it that that is how far it can go. You become a robot and robot or you become a corporation. Yeah you become a collection of ideas. That's why training is such a scary thing. The way that you can be inducted into ideology that pushes out. don't cry when z a squirrel. And i'm not. This isn't me winking at like the army or anything like that. I'm saying families do this. Yeah and you become induct inducted into an ideology. And i think the key to so much more compassion. At least on the small scale is it's so much quieter. Now that you turn the area that we gotta cheer on millages making me self conscious about my boys but feeling it in real fucking time. I had the image of like we have water and were pouring it. Lake through like of a beekeeper. You know you have those jurors And each one has has filter like a screen door filter. And we're pouring water through fifty of those filters and he comes out the bottom and suddenly it's green or an uzi or it's poss- or it's dark and grosser or maybe doesn't even make it out. That's even worse. It's so filtered. The water doesn't even get out the bottom. So you've lost your connection to yourself. I would like i all my my prayer. My hope for everybody listening for me. You val obviously is to just have clean water. Yeah i felt shame. I felt anger. I felt embarrassed. I know we've talked about that before but it's such a helpful thing in our relationship to be able to say sorry i snapped. I was just embarrassed. The ad or sorry snapped. I'm just feeling ashamed. Yeah what is this fantasy that if we get to touchy feely will lose our inner john. Wayne we'll lose our strength clean. Water can do fucking anything that's it. That's what you want is resilience. You don't want the the the john wayne image of like nothing gets to me because now i've blocked completely my. I've cut off my body. And i've built such an armor that i can't feel anything like that has how many how many examples do we need to see tv and just in our parents and people that we know to see like that doesn't work right. What is actually strong. Is the fucking ocean a like water that can flow with anything and can move and is unaffected because it's actually molding to the experience for being so pressurized impure that it can break a rock. That's brand sleep thing. He's like water. You can move where you can also break a rock. Yeah like is it's both. It's what gandhi said. Make yourself zero. And your power is invincible. Build up all these identities in these roles in these expectations and these filtration systems on your honest feeling so you can would be a cowboy in a saloon filled with other people that are so blocked that they start shooting at each other. Yeah that's that's literally our fantasy like he took care of business. We need better. So what i've been falling asleep lately. We all know about my most of us know about my sleepy sniper. I love thinking of being in a bird's nest and just being really safe and covered in like fake jungle stuff and just having a sniper being safe like it's calms my animal. Mind the sleepy sniper. And and i've lately been trying to be like can i have a com- compassionate image. Can i be just pretend to be a monk walking through a marketplace in being unaffected. Can that be coming to me. Because that like shoot first. Ask questions later. Mentality is a byproduct of of the culture but also the culture is a byproduct of our interstate. Interstate is overly filtered over near devised. Nonsense you're right. I do sound like russell. Brand watched a clip of russell brand and she was like he's huge. He's british you. I just wanted to say that. The element of compassion is so important in this too. Because first of all for those of you who are new embodiment. If you i think really great you said asking am i dreaming If that is in your style or just another way that would also work is. Can i feel my hands. Can i feel the aliveness in my hands. how do i know i have hands in just moving up and doing like a body scan and for those of us who are new embodiment. You may find that a lot of parts of your body's feel very numb that it's really hard to feel your body that's completely normal. That's not specific to you. That's really comments years and years of being cut off from your body which almost all of us have been so just being really patient and compassionate that it's a very slow road and also if you're redoing working being embodied it's important to know that You have to take it up the bodies pace and the bodies paces way slower than the heads pace so just to allow to be slow and really gentle and that's tara puts it. You wouldn't have left if there wasn't something in there that you were afraid to face so just being really really kind and slow and resourcing by grounding resourcing by having a therapist with you reading books doing research is taking a really slow and being really kind because the problem is when we try to feel our feelings if we don't have the compassion element that is when you get into will. It's too much. The world is too much then i my heart is broken every second or i realized that like everything just feels overwhelming and flooding. And you can flood your system. So that's why another thing jennifer. My therapist says is all feelings. Wanna be cradled. Jack also says all feelings just want respect so really just you see the dead squirrel. You have the feeling and the nurturing the feeling and being like thank you for reminding me that i'm connected And and being like we were with with eventually after trying a couple of different things that didn't work Being with leila being like do you need space. That's a great thing to say to feeling. Do you need space right now and just giving it the space that it needs and then you can return back to the moment you can look at the trees. You can do whatever not to distracter self but to just remind yourself that okay. The squirrel died. We saw that we felt it. And now it's over cr not carrying it with you. That's very So these are just some things i wanted to say about embodiment because i could say a million other things about it and it definitely is worth listening if you're interested listening to to really anything. Tara says she incorporates embodiment in everything. Varcoe you just search tara brach in your podcast apps. it's just the tara brach podcast or you can go to tara. Brach dot com. And they're all on their to volga So it's good to do research on it before you just like totally tried but if but something really easy is feeling your hands and your feet. I like feeling my feet because it feels grounding Which is important for that. i love it. I could clearly do talk about it constantly and not doesn't mean that i'm in my body all the time either. I definitely leave. It's just a practice and and tire mentioned this to like the you're just trying to shorten the lag time between forgetting and remembering those old thing it's the whole thing. What was that hard laugh. We had was where where we memory for. Deny you already i. We were laughing at a fart that you had. I prefer a fart that you made that you've created no. It's this happened so frequently where you say something funny. We both laugh. Then you have the weirdest fart lafley. You're i loud comes out in the rhythm of the lao yes and that always gets s elaborated since i had a baby. It's hard diminish fairly about something i've said and then sometimes we'll laugh so hard at the art that you had that i will fire in the nuts big laugh because that rarely happens or favorite. You don't remember we were laughing. Ha it's okay. i wish i could. I feel so like informed. It's only london fog raincoats. Rear well this is great. Let's get out of here. Yeah i just wanna say the other is so funny that this was what i started to say. At the beginning so we got the the message about book recommendations embodiment which ended up being kind of the whole theme of this episode. So thank you for that question. And then somebody else asked a beautiful question about books on parenting specifically dealing with generational Like ending generational staff and just being able to be present with your kid And there's a great book for that may be recommended before called conscious parenting by chef ali. I don't know how to say her last name. I don't wanna get it wrong but if you just put. Is it conscious. Parenting the conscious parent is the conscious parent the conscious parent by schiff ali. It's like t. s. a. b. u. introduction by the dalai lama refined the end. It really does talk about lake noticing when your child is doing something that's triggering you like using mindfulness to be like why is triggering to me melt so often. It's like because i wasn't allowed to feel these feelings in my house or so. It really doesn't generational stuff and it really argues that like there's it's not like a parenting method like so many books are it's just like try as much as you can and as often as you can to be present for your children. 'cause that's really what will do it and i just heard. I can't remember where. But this. Beautiful quote from carl. Young probably was from tara. Tara podcast episode That's like the. It's like the i'm going to get it wrong. But it's a carl young quote. I wanna look it up. Because i don't want to get it wrong. It's a boundary listening to. Mr rogers says everything comes down to love or the lack of it and then who we listening to said that love is attention that's stars. That's that episode. That's the ant farm argument that he paid attention to the ants and that led to love. Yeah so like love or the lack of it leads to everything and what is love love can be. I think most clearly digested by a child by attention. How do you pay attention. You pay attention by being conscious or by being present. And this is the quote that which is perfectly aligned. The greatest burden child must bear is the unloved life of apparent brutal. If an amazing like and she she even specified when she said it that. It's not just like i wanted to be a musician or something and i didn't do it. It's not. it's not as simple as that. It's like are you living life right now in this moment or are you in a complete virtual reality and sometimes it happens every day just for charity for parents. It happens every day. Where i realize that like i'm supposed to be playing with leila. I'm sitting in a pile of her toys. And she's playing and doing something so cute. And i am like completely zoned out or not there at all. It helps to live with with any walk to remember to be present. Yeah i you're really. The walk is doing some really amazing stuff. Yeah so some understanding to people that maybe don't have beautifully walk in their house. But also even if you do viper point as i have this beautiful email i know i will do it so we still will still wear. I still will another great parenting book. That doesn't necessarily go into that but is really wonderful. Is the whole brain child by dan. Siegel and tina pain. I know well. Thanks yeah and also. I have a poem. Gray toe am sure. Put on the music. Yeah get the hd up if you're not following poetry is waiting. Poetry is not a luxury on instagram. You should definitely do that. And this was posted and then my sweet wonderful friend luisa has great podcast called sober sex that i didn't episode of sent this to me and it's so perfect and it's one of those short but profound once so interesting. I just iris in lower by. So they're doing something with the trash. Okay cool here. We go called the mercy so much depends upon forgetting much for our earliest yearnings. Never abandoned us. The stroke that wipes out memory is another word for mercy. Wow the stroke that wipes out. Memory is another word for mercy. Yeah that's like remember. I talked to know the day she sent me this the day. You told me that. Wow i forgot to tell because we have a million synchronicity. Today i had a great conversation with shane. Moss i've referenced it already but he was like forgetting is the unsung hero of the brain is one of the main functions of the brain is to choose what to forget and people are like. I wish i could remember. I wish i could remember. You know you don't like what right on you can have. You can even have compassion and love forgetting mechanism that sparing you. Everything you saw in a day. Yes that it needed to remember for that day and then it deletes it. what mercy. that's right it's the mercy and it's just a reminder because we've been kind of all about the body this episode not to then turn your aggression toward your brain. I always say we're not trying to go from living from the neck up to only living from the neck down the both you want the both and you can have passion for both that they are. They're doing what they believe is best to keep you alive at all times. That's right. that's for another chat. But richie also was talking about like it's it's it's crucifixion and resurrection. It's embracing and working with suffering and and great things coming and and completion wholeness. But he's like so. Many churches are just resurrection. And he's like a lot of at a lot of catheters just crucifixion does all right. Thanks everybody yeah. This is fine. This was great. We always find it because we love it. Thanks for sharing with us Christly own still.

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