17 Burst results for "Ua Shu"

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

03:03 min | 4 d ago

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. Hello, daters, datas, those dating, those who are done dating, those who are so over dating those are far removed from dating, whatever your relationship is with dating, welcome to another episode of the dateable podcast. We welcome all of you. All daters, no matter where you are in your journey. You know, it is funny to think about all the different stages and what we've all gone through. I feel like looking at my dating history at reflecting on it from even a month ago, it's all different. Every step of the process. And you just never stop. There's never an end to dating. Even though my parents, I love my parents so much. Every time I visit them, they drag me on a 5 mile hike. They do a 5 mile hike every day. And then they work out again in the afternoon. I'm tired when I'm with them. No wonder. Where you get it from? And during our hike, my parents love talking about the podcast without talking about the podcast. They're always like, how's the podcast going? But you know they're just so curious about what dating even means because they've never dated any other people, except for each other, but my mom recently told me about all these dating stories during her time when she was a teenager, not her own dating stories, but what she witnessed in China when dating was banned, you actually would be beaten if you were caught dating. How much people risked just for love. It's insane. People were holding hands, knowing that they could get beaten, but they still want to show affection for each other. Isn't that crazy? Shit. I think we need to get your mom on the podcast. Talk about that. She's so shy. She's always like, please don't post any pictures of me. That's anybody to see her hear her, but she has some incredible stories to tell. That is crazy, though, like, what people would risk. I'm just thinking about if dating was illegal, how different people would view it. I feel like we would hold it more sacred for sure. And would appreciate every date a lot more if we could be doing it. I feel like if you think about certain substances that are illegal, it almost is more fun because they're illegal. This is why it's just so annoying that a lot of us complain about dating apps because it is a privilege to be able to date to have these tools to help us date and to have the option to date without getting beaten to death, you know? We are a very privileged people right now. Exactly. And are excited to re air this episode that we did with

UA Shu Julie Kraft Huffington Post China
"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

04:52 min | 3 weeks ago

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. Happy brunch everyone, welcome to this episode of brunch talk by the dateable podcast. If you are new to this show,

UA Shu Huffington Post Julie Kraft
"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

05:53 min | 3 weeks ago

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"Dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world.

The Huffington Post UA Shu Julie Kraft
"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

04:14 min | Last month

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"Sacra things before he burns the whole neighborhood down. The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world..

Huffington Post UA Shu Julie Kraft
"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

04:32 min | Last month

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. Hello Friends, welcome to a special episode of the dateable podcast. We had regular programming that we scheduled for this week, but we decided that, nope, we got to do something else in light of what's been happening and the overturn of roe V wade. I'm also wearing my bold shirt today, but I realize my hair covers the bee and it just is old..

UA Shu Julie Kraft Huffington Post roe V wade
"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

04:57 min | Last month

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. Hey brunchables, welcome to brunch talk where we dissect and analyze and answer the questions that you all have sent in. We love this portion because we get to weigh in and also get to hear what you all are going through and believe it or not, the questions you all send in, you're not the only ones. You're not the only one going through what you're going through. So isn't that nice to know that? It is nice to know that. I feel like when I was dating before this podcast, you feel like you're on an island, like you feel like there's something wrong with you because you're the only one going through something. So the facts that other people write in similar stuff is actually incredibly reassuring that there's nothing wrong. It's just, this is what's happening, you know? These are the things that we're all dealing with. Well, it's wild to me the stuff that people talk about with their friends versus what they're internally going through. I remember when I was dating and having these thoughts of, well, I can't tell my friends this. This is unacceptable. They should know about this problem I'm having, or I shouldn't be having this problem, and that's what makes us lonely in dating as these preconceived notions of what is a good problem to have and what's not a good problem to have. I relate to that. I remember I got to a point that I didn't even want to tell my friends about dates because I didn't want them to be like, well, what happened to this person because they were here, especially friends that were in relationships. I had this married couple. I was super close with what I was doing the height of my online dating. And I remember them just being like, wait, what about this person? What about this person? Why are any of these people coming? And they were all on board when it was a funny dating story or like a hot date story..

UA Shu Julie Kraft Huffington Post
"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

05:17 min | Last month

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. Data bowls welcome to a spanking new episode of the dateable podcast. If you didn't know what we talk about just by the name itself, we are talking about modern dating, not data science. But we could. There are some data science to all of this. Last week. This week we have a lot in store. I guess we are numbers people because we are talking about families of three, and it's not what you think. And we hit our 300th episode. So that makes us number as people in itself. Three is our lucky number. 300 episodes is a big as accomplishment. And I know I posted this in our community, but there is a thing in podcasting called pod fading, which 75% of the 2 million podcasts out there fade out within the first year. So the fact that we've made it to almost 7 years with 300 episodes just means there's been a lot of blood sweat and tears put into this. It has been a journey. I feel like the other day I was realistic to one of our older episodes. And I was just like, damn, we've come a long way. When you listen to our earlier seasons, it's almost like when you go through your childhood photos, you know? Like, oh, I can't believe I wore that. That is how I feel when I write that. I can't believe I used to go to that place. I can't believe I had that haircut. That's how you feel. That's how I feel about what we talk about. It didn't even sound like the same podcast. It basically was a totally different podcast we first started. Good, 'cause we're also like 6 years younger than. And he didn't have all those experiences, didn't talk to the thousands of people who were going into this. So I hope that in 5, 6 years from now, we're going to sound totally different than we do today too. I think that is exactly it. At the beginning, it was more funny dating stories and not nearly as deep, but we didn't have that knowledge back then. We kind of needed all those stories to build on the topics that are current day, so we're on this to come, but UA and I are definitely working hard to dissect all the stuff we've learned. That is one of our secret projects that we're working on. And the not so secret project is our finding your person program that we are relaunching very soon. This is the place where we've put all of our years of experience, anecdotes, pattern recognition, data, all of it, into one, to really crack the code on finding that special person for you..

UA Shu Julie Kraft Huffington Post
"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

05:14 min | 2 months ago

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. Brunchables, welcome to another episode of brunch talk by the dateable podcast. If you're new to these episodes, we have an episode that we do during the week, and then we have one on the weekend where we can address some of the questions that you all have sent in. And we've gotten so many questions in. It's so great, but you can still keep sending them in. We love brunch talk and we love all the topics that you are all asking us about. This is like the little side dish that you get. The extra. It's like when you have to pay extra for that avocado. We're giving you the free avocado. Fuck. Isn't it the worst? It's so savage. When they do that, it's like, brunch is already not that cheap. And then you add it on avocado, which is like sometimes $3 more. I don't understand. You just BYO avocado. Yeah, but they're like $3 at the grocery store too. It's always so ridiculous. That's really hard, but they're so damn good, which is what kind of justifies the costs. That's always that mental calculation. Is it worth it? How much better will it be with that avocado? I would recently heard someone talk about value versus price. And he's like, the price is what you pay, but the value is what you get out of it. So if you're paying for something that brings you a lot of value, it's worth it. Totally. So he's like, whatever you add on extra, think about how much value that brings you. So I think avocado does bring a lot of value, especially during brunt, just seems like the go to brunch side dish. It's crazy, yeah. Isn't that the same with dating though, right? How much value are you getting? Is it your like, I'm going on this date, two drinks would be like 40 bucks, $10 to take it, Uber, but they could be amazing, right? Right. Yeah, and sometimes I have to get a little wax, you know? Get the heritage. Look at the nails did and ends up being like 500 bucks. It has a worth it. That's my video dating is so much easier. Yeah, that zoom filter is a free 99, so..

UA Shu Julie Kraft Huffington Post
"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

07:49 min | 2 months ago

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. Hi Friends, welcome to another episode of the dateable podcast. We are UA and Julie, and we want to discuss everything about modern dating and the dating culture. But at the root of dating is human connection, something that we are very passionate about. And something that we sort of lost in the last few years and so many people we see in our community are trying to get that connection back absolutely. And I feel like before this episode, I would never have connected self awareness with human connection. Clearly, they're in the same vein, but I think this episode really ties the connection of human connection. And I was so excited when you found doctor Tasha urich, her TED Talk, and she really breaks down the science of self awareness in a way that I think we hear the word self awareness. It's almost like this buzzword, kind of like personal development or attention, or even communication. It's like, this is what you need to do to be successful in relationships. But what do these actually mean? And I love that we were able to break it down actual definitions of self awareness. And spoiler alert, none of us are a self aware as we think we are. And I like her a point of even if you are a self aware or working towards that, you have to use that information. It doesn't just sit idle. And this is also related to our upcoming course, finding your person, the finding your person program is something that we launched last year. It was very popular, and we are about to relaunch it again, but as part of this program you'll learn about self awareness, yes, learning about yourself more, but we also have a proprietary positive refactor method where it helps you put your self awareness information into action. Yes, it's all about the action. I feel like it's both, you know, you can't just do do do and not think ever. I think that's problematic, but also just getting into a state of rumination. We talk about the difference of rumination versus reflection. In this episode, in that's really important. How do I reflect on what's happened, but use that information as power to move forward and make action happen? Yeah, we had so many conversations in the last few years about people putting their personality test results on their dating app bios or they're putting their schemas on their bios. It's great to know this and we are all identifying with these results. But what do you do with these results? And do you want to still be this person? And something we've uncovered recently is that you're constantly evolving, taking a snapshot of who you are in this moment, but there's also a snapshot of who you could be in the future and how do we get there that comes with self awareness and using the self awareness information. Yes. She also talks about a quiz that she has that you have to answer that you send it to your friend. I still need a few a yesterday. It's not completed it yet. It's been less than 24 hours. I guess you're excused from it. But the whole point is to see de jure perceptions match how other people perceive. That's huge, right? That's huge if you're, if you think you're a certain way, but does that really mean other people perceive you in that way? It's like if a tree falls in the forest and nobody's around, did a really fall. I don't know. Oh, it goes. I like that. It's like if other people don't acknowledge you as being that way, are you actually that way? It's really interesting information. And this is why we feel like when it comes to personal development, you can't just do this work on your own. You can't just be in silo, thinking about who you are, you have to interact with other people for this to actually come true and be realistic for you. Yeah, has this ever happened to you, 'cause I definitely have been here before. Where you do take that time to do the personal development. In fact, I took an entire year off from dating at all. After a brutal breakup, I did not date for a year. And I did a ton of self development and then when I went back into it, you know, things still come up. And a lot of times you think, oh, I thought I was past this. But I think what I've learned over time is one at the journeys never over. But then two, of course, if you're doing this at a silo by yourself and doing reading the books and doing the exercises, but not interacting with people that are going to trigger it in some way. Of course, everything's going to be good. It's the true test is you can never control the people out there. So how is it that you're going to react once you get this information? Have you ever had that happen? We're resurfaced for you. You know, certain things we had an episode about positive intelligence and we talked about saboteurs and certain people can trigger your saboteurs to come out and it's just the way we're conditioned. It's so much of our conditioning that we've had ever since we were little kids. So I've definitely had situations where I felt like in the academic sense, I could see myself and say, okay, you should respond in this way. But in the current practical sense and the emotional sense, I was not able to put it into practice in the moment. Like when I get into a fight with my partner, it's never the way I imagined it to go. It's like hindsight is 2020 as cliche as that sounds. I'm actually gearing up to go to Austin this weekend. So I will be coming back from Austin when this episode officially drops, but I will be there over the weekend. And I was thinking about it, I'm going to my college friend's wedding, seeing a bunch of friends from college that I haven't seen in three years, which is nuts. And I was thinking about it. I had a friend that went through something pretty serious with her partner a while back. I mean, they've been buried for years. And I remember I was really upset she didn't tell me, because I was like, this was in a stage where I felt like Friends shared everything. And I was kind of like even personally offended that my friend didn't share this thing that she was going through. And you know, it's taken years later and self awareness. I was like, wow, I was kind of an asshole that I even expected her to tell me that. And made it about me. It's like there's certain things at one. It's her partner's thing that he was going through that really had nothing to do with her to even share. So there was that piece. And then second, she doesn't need to share every last thing with her friends. It's not like she doesn't value me as a friend because she didn't share something personal. They were going through. But I feel like I was lacking that self awareness back then to even realize that. I wasn't the center of the world and didn't need to know every last thing. Yeah. It also friendships are just so different when people are in relationships. Your idea of a friendship of always being there for each other and telling each other everything changes when you get into relationships. And rightfully so, I mean, we've seen it. There are certain friends that were like, you shouldn't have told us that about your partner because now I see your partner in a totally different way and I'm not sure if I can be in the same room as him, honestly. Yeah, but I have like thinking about it even with myself if I was going through something personal that I shared with my partner. That's different than him sharing it with a bunch of his friends, you know? That isn't necessarily what you're signing up for. So I do think.

UA Shu Julie Kraft Tasha urich Huffington Post Julie Austin
"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

04:09 min | 2 months ago

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. Hi dateable is welcome to another episode of the day will podcast. We are UA and Julie, your dating shirt bus, your dating confidants, your dating BFFs, you can call us whatever you want, as long as it's a nice word, as long as it's nice, you know. You could call us whatever nickname in as long as it's a good one. Yeah, keep it positive. I feel like so excited. We got this email that we were number one. In all of social sciences category. On good pods. On good pods. Yeah, this new what is it like a curation site that you can discover podcasts, but we were number, so the first day we were at upper water, we got the sea mail that we checked in and we had dropped an upper two, which is still a good achievement. Yeah. We were behind hidden brain, which is like for like a PhD. It's huge. Super reputable podcasts. My boyfriend listens to it, and I just was like, look, look who is behind. And your favorite podcast. Your girlfriend is so damn smart. Don't ever forget it. That's huge for us. It's been a roller coaster of rankings. For anybody who's in podcasting, you get put on all these lists. And sometimes you're like, I don't know, 1 million and 5 or whatever. We get happy when we're in the top hundred 'cause that's huge. They're millions and millions of podcasts out there, but to be in the top three or top 5 for one deal..

UA Shu Julie Kraft Huffington Post Julie
"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

05:54 min | 3 months ago

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The date of the podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. Welcome to brunch talk by the dateable podcast. We are here to eat and chat and dissect dish dish and analyze. And then fucking move on from it all. Yes, get it out of our systems. This is the time for tea. Especially if it's not serving us, but or okay, get it out of our systems or get that clarity and enlightenment that we need to move on. Okay, there you go. That's the positive. It's a nicer way. Nicer way to do it. But we are still recovering both of us from COVID, so if we sat a little loopy, that's why, but we are committed to give it the brunch talk and divulging it all, even if we are quarantined right now. But brunch is a time to just divulge. Let's just get it out. It's like vomiting out the information or the questions or the concerns that you have. And hopefully you're with your Friends and you guys are talking about your love lives and there's so many questions circulating. I know that we've had many questions circulating during our brunches, Julie. It's a therapy session. Yeah, you can Venmo Venmo me any time. I'll go to brush with you for a small feat of 250 plus. Plus I watch eggs Benedict. Thanks. But the reason why we talk about it with our Friends is because we need to get it out of our system. You can't ruminate by yourself thinking about these things. Why didn't this person text you back?.

UA Shu Julie Kraft Huffington Post Venmo Venmo Julie
"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

04:36 min | 4 months ago

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. What is up everyone? Welcome to another episode of brunch talk with us the dateable podcast hosts and every week we get into a meaty question that we've been getting through our emails and we want to dissect it all for you. Over brunch talk. Yes. And then you can take it to your own brunches and dissect it further with your friends or spread the gospel because we're looking to have advice and dissection that empowers you at the end of the day..

UA Shu Julie Kraft Huffington Post
"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

08:16 min | 4 months ago

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. Hello data bowls, welcome to another episode of the dateable podcast. We are here to answer all of your questions about modern dating 'cause we're also trying to answer those for ourselves. And that's why we do this podcast. So we can learn to be better daters. This week's episode is a little bit, I don't know, I like that we have this mix of experts and then we have real stories. We do have an expert on this time. This is all about positive intelligence, but his entire program is really centered around every aspect of life, and we have to remember that our dating life, our love life, is connected to every aspect of our entire life. Yeah, this episode of a UA could go into a war because you're actually in his program. So you came to me and you were like, I have the best guest. I have the best guess sure zod shamin, and I'll take you his course of a positive intelligence. And I'm like, what the fuck is positive intelligence? And then you started to go into it of just how we learned how we sabotage our love lives. And as soon as you said that, I was like, we need to get him out the podcast. And I'm so glad we did because like you said, we do this podcast. This podcast started because we were genuinely curious about modern day day. And we did not have it all figured out ourselves. And now that both of us are not actively dating anymore, but we are navigating relationships. And fun fact, it doesn't stop after you go to a relationship, you never stop dating, and you just have to do things pop up and I think what I've been learning personally over the last, you know, I would say I'm hitting a year. I'm going on my year anniversary next week for going away. And I'd say the first, you know, the first like 6 months you're in the honeymoon phase, everything's great. Everything's going well and not to say it's not going great now. It definitely is, but we're just going to a different level. You know, we're heading different things and what I've learned from my relationship, talking to you, talking to other people in relationships and some friends that have been married for years. There's always something. There's always something you need to navigate. And it makes sense because you're bringing gears and years of your own way of doing things and thinking about things and processing things to a relationship and I love in this, how we break it down and see how it's actually impacting our relationships with our loved ones and how we're getting in our own ways. I was kind of reminiscing about my previous relationships and even the current one the first few months because you and I always talk about like the early stages of a relationship. And I don't think we ever went through that honeymoon phase because I think what it was was my UA bullshit phase. That's what I call it. That's what the honeymoon phase was for me. I threw out so much bullshit at this guy and every other person I've dated because I never thought being in a relationship meant it should be easy. So I made a very hard in the beginning. I want to do like the games and the chase and kind of make it not so easy for my partner, but then the next 6 months was about him breaking down my bullshit and being like, let's work on these issues instead of this like me versus you mentality. So I look back on previous dating, the early stages of dating, and I just fucking cringe, Julie. I can't believe I was that person who would never say thank you at the end of the dinner if someone picked up the bill. Like I would just act like I was entitled for some reason because I wanted the guy to feel like he should feel lucky to be with me. Like, what the hell was wrong with me? So yes, for me, honeymoon phase never existed because there's just UA bullshit phase. Well, I think even if you're not at a relationship, this episode is equally as applicable because you could sabotage yourself, even if you don't have someone to sabotage a relationship with. And that's exactly what you were doing. You finally just met someone that was willing to just break through it with you. It's interesting because I think Biden was the opposite that we were just so enamored and in love and then we started to be like, okay, this is the real selves, not that we weren't showing real selves, but it's different. Start to dig in a little more and get more comfortable. And honestly, I think actually, even if when there's conflicts, I always think of our episode with Vienna. Farron and Connor beaton, which was last season about how conflict is actually the key to a successful healthy relationship and I do believe actually it's broken down barriers that we can get to know each ourselves better. Each other better and you build something that has a lot more depth than when it's just surface level at honeymoon ish. Yeah, like wishers odd is going to go into with this episode. We have two different sides of ourselves. We have the sage self which is the compassionate empathetic, peaceful side of us, and then we have the saboteur self which is just multiple layers of sabotages. I don't even know if that's right word, but saboteurs that can come and really ruin a good relationship. And in early dating, you're a sage side comes out because you want to be loving compassionate and empathetic, but the more you grow closer to each other, the more you can use your own saboteurs to bring out the saboteurs and other people. So you kind of like feed off of each other's negative energy. So it's like it's inevitable in relationships that we have both sides, and that we always say like someone can bring out the best in you and they can bring out the worst in you. That is so true in a relationship. Yeah, or what you're saying is sometimes maybe you're saboteurs come out before the sage. So I think everyone's different based on how you process relationships, your past experience, if you're protecting yourself and how you're doing it, it's a great topic. And it definitely gives me schemas vibes. You know, like identifying how you fit in, there's a quiz you can take, you a set me the quiz. Immediately, I was like, oh my God, this exploits everything. Similar to how I felt what I was realized I was a perfectionist on schemas in. What I love about this and schemas is that there's nothing wrong with you. There's none that are better than the other. It's bore just how can you get more knowledge about the way you process things, the beliefs you hold. So when it comes up, you're able to just be like, oh, yep, it's this. Not like there's something actually flawed with my relationship. I'm so glad you found it. Yeah, I'm so glad you said that, because we always say that with personal development and self help sort of like these quizzes and assessments you can take, it's not to tell you what is wrong with you, not to diagnose you. It's to give you hope that you can work towards someone a better version of yourself and we're constantly working on the better version of ourselves. So with this episode with the schemas with the personality test, it is just capturing you in this moment in time and then gives you a road map for where you can go towards. And that's always progress. Yeah, it even reminds me of last week's episode, which got such rave reviews about securing your anxious attachment style. We know that a lot of our listeners identify this way. Similar to me, because you might never lose that aspect of yourself. You might always have some anxiety, for instance, or you might always have some perfectionism or whatever it may be, but you can learn how to control it and you learn how to share it with someone, and you learn how to not let it get in your way, ultimately. So I've been wanting to ask you this way. So you took this course, wishers odd. And you were obviously felt very strongly about it. And one of the things I admire about you is your growth mindset in that you're always looking for ways to continue personal development..

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"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

04:56 min | 4 months ago

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. What's up Friends?.

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"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

04:49 min | 5 months ago

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. Hey Friends, welcome to another episode of the dateable podcast where we dig into the ins and outs of modern dating but also the wise house and what's of people's behavior. We're on it. Yes, we have an episode that's coming soon of why the what needs to be the question not the why. So we'll leave it at that. Let you all be intrigued for a few weeks, but it's a good one. We always have good ones though. That's true. What else is new? I'm saying I have a favorite episode, you know, the usual. Every week. Well, this week's episode is completely relatable for so many people. It's about dating a workaholic or maybe you are an a workaholic dating because all of us are have been trying to make work and life and dating all work together the last few years, especially a lot of us working from home, which I've heard that makes you work even more 'cause there's no separation of home and work. So I found this episode, especially relevant. Yeah, someone actually asked me earlier has this always been a thing or do you think it's new for the pandemic? And I think dating someone that's a workaholic or being a workaholic has been around forever, but it's just showed up in different ways with the pandemic. We're going to go into it today with our guest Caitlin, who was dating a workaholic, and the industry that he worked in was supply chain, which I think different industries got hit differently in the pandemic, too, that there's a lot just going on in the world that is outside a relationships. And we also differentiate two of being invested in your career versus being a workaholic. And there are two very different things. And we also find out that your work culture bleeds into your personal life culture. And a lot of what we experience at work, if we don't leave it at work, it does show up in our personal lives, especially in dating. And the reason why I say that is because I'm at my parents house right now whenever I'm at my parents house, I get very nostalgic and I think about old memories, right?.

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"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

03:46 min | 5 months ago

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. Hello Friends, welcome to another episode of the dateable podcast where we dig deep into modern dating, people's behavior, and how we can get rid of bad dating behavior and start praising people for good dating behavior. And this is what this season is about. Season 14, hope you all like the first episode that was quite the banger. So good. We got so much feedback that it made people look at themselves in ways they'd never did before. And feel good that the multiple voices inside of you are all of you. You're not crazy. It's just crazy. So much is the relationship with yourself. And I feel like in this season too, whether you're dating and a relationship, whatever your status is, that is a common theme that we're going to keep bringing home. At the end of the day, that's what makes the difference. It really does. And whenever data say, it's my city, it's the apps. It's the people on the apps, but then you listen to everybody complaining about the exact same thing. You start to wonder, um, are we all guilty of that said behavior? Because we are. So we can only take responsibility for ourselves and this is why Julie and I have really refocused the content of this podcast on a lot of the self improvement material because that's the only thing we have control over. It is ourselves. Yeah, we hear for this week's episode. We hear this all the time that one of the biggest struggles in modern dating. You know, there's a lot of struggles. So it's not the only one, but one of them is getting past a third date. For some reason, it feels like quite at accomplishment to get past a third date in today's world. And we hear often the reason at this point. It's not that there's no attraction. Usually by date three, someone's already kind of established that piece. It's that there's no emotional connection. Those are like the dreaded words that get sent to your text. We will not be going out again because there is no emotional connection. Have you ever gotten that before you? I've sent that text before. I sure have. And I sent it because I didn't know what else to say. It just seemed like the only logical thing to send. It's right. I mean, when I sent that text, I remember the guy kept trying to convince me otherwise. So he tried to call me and ask me, what if we did this? What if I was all in? What if we went on vacation? But to me, my mind was already made up that there was just nothing there. And I think a lot of times this happens when we can't get past the date talk, the data of you. And it feels like we're all the same date, again. And again, and again. But the flip side, I don't think I've actually gotten that there's no emotional connection. I think by flip side was maybe there's too much emotional connection. What? A trauma dump. You know what I mean? I think some people slip on the other side. Of course, Julie would get too much emotional connection. Well, I swear some of the dates where I thought we had the most riveting emotional connection..

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"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

04:09 min | 5 months ago

"ua shu" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. What's updatable? Official start of season four teen. I can not believe it. Season 14, here we come. I want to take clips of every time Julie says, I can not believe it's season block because she was like, finds it all very unbelievable. I'm like, Julie, listen, it's season 14. I know, but sometimes I do find it unbelievable that we've been doing this. I actually got corrected that it's only been 6 years, not 7 years. We did the most wrong. Oh, we did. Well, we're 6 going on 7. 6 years is still quite an accomplishment. Yes. And it was Valentine's Day we launched back in the day. Yeah, I actually looked through my old photos of that of that very first recording we did. In my apartment. In my studio apartment, and we had like 7 people crammed in with a live audience. They were all eating like pretzels. And that would never happen again. But at least we can keep the show going. This is like what's so great about this time of podcasting is this is something you can do virtually. It's amazing and we can do this virtually. It's not a TV show where you have an in studio audience and you have to be there live. This we can do all over the Internet. So thank you. We're very grateful that we can keep the show going. Yeah, and it also opens up our guests. I feel like we are so lucky to be joined by our cease and open our guest, layer torrent. You know, I remember the day when we were doing Skype calls and we didn't even have video on to see our guests. So what a world of a difference this has been. And this is such a great way to kick off the season because we're all talking about what are you bringing to your dates? Sure, there's two people and two people bring each other on the date. But did you know that when you go on a date, you're actually bringing a whole team of people with you. It's your energy. It's your vibe. It's what you experience.

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