35 Burst results for "Two Month"
Miles donations are providing flights for Afghan refugees
"Airlines in ordinary Americans are donating miles to help Afghan refugees reach their new homes when a group that uses donated miles and credit card points to help refugees sought support for those fleeing Afghanistan in August he began talking to other nonprofits about helping now a campaign organized by miles for migrants and a group called welcome US has raised enough frequent flyer miles in two months to provide forty thousand flights for refugees about half of those are from ordinary people the other half or corporate donations mostly donated by airlines organizer say using donated miles and cash to pay for travel frees up government refugee aid for housing and other services the flights carry Afghans from temporary housing at military bases to new homes around the United States former Delaware governor Jack Markell is working point for president Biden Markel says about nine thousand Afghans fleeing the Taliban have been resettled in the U. S. about
CDC approves Moderna and J&J Covid vaccine boosters, allowing people to mix-and-match shots
"Millions more Americans are now eligible for Kobe nineteen vaccine booster shots and the CDC is trying to clear up confusion about just who can get them for people who got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine more than two months ago then they are eligible for about the time lines a bit longer for flies around the Georgia recipients more than six months ago you're eligible if you're over the age of sixty five and you're eligible if you live in a long term care facility and you're eligible if you're over the age of eighteen and you have underlying medical conditions or you live or work in a high risk place CDC cheaper shovel Lenski says that leaves millions of people not yet eligible so the definition of fully vaccinated will not change for now Sager
FDA OKs mixing COVID vaccines; backs Moderna, J&J boosters
"Federal regulators are authorizing booster doses of the Madonna and Johnson and Johnson covert nineteen vaccines and the mixing of vaccines I'm Ben Thomas with the latest it's not the final word the CDC has that but the food and drug administration have signed off on extending boosters to Americans who got the maternal and Johnson and Johnson vaccine specifically the FDA authorized a third materna shot for seniors and others at high risk six months after their last shot one big change modernise booster will be half the dose of the first two shots for change a single shot the FDA says all recipients should get a second dose at least two months after their initial vaccination the FDA also says anyone eligible for shot can get a different brand of vaccine from the one they started with Ben Thomas Washington
Fauci: J&J Vaccine 'Should Have Been a Two-Dose Vaccine'
"What do you make of news like Fauci's news that for those of us who got the J&J? Well, it should have been a two dose vaccine not one. It should have been two doses like Pfizer and Moderna Moderna is. Now you're telling us, well, you know why they're telling us now? Because they've had 9 ten months to study it. That's what people are afraid of. That's why you're worried about the vaccine because this is all new. It's clear as can be. Listen to what Fauci said. Now he's about as clear as mud on a good day, but here's foushee explaining why the FDA adviser believes that the Johnson & Johnson vaccine should have been two doses. Doctor Fauci, the FDA advisory panel unanimously recommended booster doses for the J&J vaccine. But the advice is for all people over 18 to get the shot even after just two months. We know this vaccine was not as effective as others. So should those 15 million people who got the vaccine be concerned given these recommendations? No, not at all. I think that they should feel good about it because what the advisers to the FDA felt is that given the data that they saw very likely this should have been a two dose vaccine to begin with. So the idea of wreck of making a recommendation that people who originally received J&J should receive a second dose 18 or older with none of the restrictions about whether or not you're at a high risk or not at a high risk, is that everyone who received that first dose of J&J were 18 and old that should receive it. So I think that's a very good thing. And I think it's very favorable for those who have received the J&J vaccine. I don't see that as a problem at
No One Even Noticed Pete Buttigieg Is on Paternity Leave
"Well, we found out where Pete Buttigieg has been. He has been on paternity leave for two months now last time that came up, I got in trouble with megyn Kelly. So I'm not touching that issue. Lord knows what happened. She wrote about it in her book. You can Google it, megyn Kelly and Mike Gallagher on the issue of maternity leave. So wow. Two months two plus months for maternity leave. Paid paternity leave. You know what's the best part of the story of Pete Buttigieg being MIA all this time? Nobody really even noticed till this week. That's how irrelevant he is. Nobody even really noticed he was gone. He's the transportation secretary. We've had this supply chain crisis for weeks. And they just noticed though the other day. Where's he been? Always on paternity leave. And that became a whole thing and then Tucker Carlson attacked him and then he responded to Tucker Carlson and he's saying he can still do the job from whatever. But isn't it amazing? No one knew he was gone.
In trial over Arbery death, racial reckoning looms large
"Jury selection begins Monday in the trial of three white men charged with killing an unarmed black man in Georgia in February of twenty twenty many see the case as a reckoning for the local justice system amada armory was chased and fatally shot after Greg McMichael and his son Travis saw him running in their neighborhood prosecutors say he was just out jogging they chased him in a pickup truck more than two months passed before the McMichael's ended neighbor William Ronnie Bryant who taped the encounter were charged with the murder for many it's not just the white defendants on trial but rather a justice system that allowed them to remain free for weeks after they pursued and killed a black man I'm Julie Walker
Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg Was Gone for Two Months, Failing to Inform Americans
"People have wondered where's Kamala Harris when it comes to the border right Where's Kamala Harris And then people wondered where is Pete Buttigieg When it comes to transportation and the supply chain and truckers and freighters and containers and all the rest While he was on paternity leave for two months for two months so when piza the serial liar for the idiot president is lying to the American people about how they've been working on this for months She failed to tell the American people That the secretary transportation the key individual who's supposed to be In a captaining this sort of thing was missing in action that he was on paternity leave It's also amazing that the president of the United States didn't call him back into action either It's just that people finally figured out the guy hasn't been around That's how seriously this administration takes The shortages The supply chain failures That's how serious they are about
FDA panel endorses booster shot for J&J COVID-19 vaccine
"Federal health advisers have endorsed a Johnson and Johnson covert nineteen vaccine booster amid growing fears people who got the single dose are not as protected as those who received other vaccines the government says all three U. S. approved vaccines offer strong protection but the J. and J. version consistently shows lower effectiveness than the Medora and Pfizer vaccines which use a different technology FDA advisers like Dr Paul Offit say Americans who've been given the J. and J. shot need a boost I think that frankly would always the panel unanimously voted to back the J. and J. booster which the company's Dr penny Heaton says can be given as early as two months after the initial dose my waiter an even stronger and you response the same panel yesterday endorsement during his poster paint government regulators will decide in coming days whether to sign off Sager mag ani Washington
Jobless Claims Fall to Lowest Level Since Start of Covid-19 Pandemic
"Unemployment claims fell last week to a pandemic low some two hundred ninety three thousand Americans filed for jobless benefits the second straight weekly drop and the lowest total since March twenty twenty it's a sign the job market is still getting better even though hiring has slowed the last two months because jobless aid applications and generally tracked the pace of layoffs the fallen steadily since last spring with businesses were struggling to fill jobs holding on to their workers Sager
House sends debt limit hike to Biden, staving off default
"Hi Mike Rossi you're reporting the house sends the debt limit hike to president Biden staving off of federal default the yeas are two nineteen the nays are two oh six without the house of representatives approved a temporary hike in the nation's debt limit it sharing the federal government can pay its bills for the next two months but the extension only kicked the can down the road to December with Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell already saying the GOP will not help next time the battle played out again Tuesday with finger pointing on the house floor house speaker Nancy Pelosi it is sad that Republican obstruction is delayed action for so long Republican representative Jason Smith countered I am glad that I decided to wear my boots today because it's getting deep in the swamp up here today having already passed the Senate the debt limit bill now goes to president Joe Biden for his signature Mike Rossi up Washington
House Set to Temporarily Raise Debt Limit
"The house votes to extend the federal debt limit today members of the US house of representatives return to the nation's capital today to vote on temporarily extending the federal government's borrowing power to December the Senate passed the debt limit extension Thursday night approving four hundred eighty billion dollars in you borrowing the extension will avoid a first ever federal default Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell allowed the two month reprieve but has said he won't do it again eight of the eleven Republican senators who helped Democrats approve the debt limit increase are either retiring or not up for reelection until twenty twenty four or later Mike
California coronavirus death count tops 70,000 as cases fall
"California has hit a once unfathomable milestone in the virus pandemic the state has topped seventy thousand covert nineteen deaths most in the nation Johns Hopkins university's tally shows that surpasses Texas by about three thousand deaths in Florida by a thirteen thousand despite California's per capita fatality rate being in the country's bottom third and it's seeing the lowest rate of new cases in the country the national average of daily cases has dropped below one hundred thousand for the first time in more than two months daily deaths are about seventeen hundred down for more than two thousand three weeks ago Sager mag ani Washington
Ep4: Unboxing The Mystery Box Film Challenge
"I can't really stressing enough. Anyone can participate in the mystery. Box film challenge you. Don't have to be in scranton wilkes-barre you don't have to be in northeast. Pennsylvania you can be anywhere in participate. We've made it so we've made it really streamlined. Like keeping announcing the items online. And that's because of the pandemic it's like okay if you wanna do a challenge during a pandemic how we're gonna do this like we don't want to give out physical boxes and it's really not that conducive if you want to grow it so announcing the items was the best way to do it and it's it's really easy to it's just like people just have to go find the items if they have them in their house or they had the borrow him or if you wanna buy 'em yourself that's that's a really good we do. We're on facebook on instagram. We'll have a facebook group so you could talk to people this where we usually put the list of the requirements items prompts on. There's usually a document i to facebook page on the facebook group in the video is always there when we announced but this is the first year that the mystery box film challenge is on film freeway. That was a decision that i made that phone. Freeways really the premier place to find film festivals film challenges and i wanted just to get more is on the challenge because last year had lake. We had i think twenty one sign ups and we got twelve films back so usually are ratio is lake. We get a lot of sign ups in usually we get about half of them to submit a film which was amazing during a pandemic all types of films different genres like first time filmmakers season professionals to it's it's everybody you can do it. You can totally participate in this challenge. It's so much fun. And it's just a great way to connect with people in network with filmmakers in your area and asking for help and we're always here he always email us if you need help or have any questions but yeah all our items in prompts and requirements and specifications are on our film freeway page. If you searched the mystery box challenge on film freeway and like i said before you have two months to make film they need to be wanna ten minutes in laying that includes your credit entitles. They can't go beyond ten minutes Ill should align with the pg thirteen rating. We don't allow our crm teen films. These are short films are not gonna be feature films. So it's pretty good for that. And then you have your technical specifications as well and we do the emission on phil freeway as well. We used to have people email us. They're finish phones but we're not doing that. Everything is going to be through film freeway We do have a submission fee this year all past years. The film challenge has been free but with Just doing the challenge. It's a lot of it's like. We want to do a lot. More marketing in the marketing costs money. And we want to give her filmmaker swag like shirts and stickers and It better prizes in that costs money so like we have a regular deadlines mission is five dollars and then we have a late deadline for this year. So regular deadline for this year's film challenges november tenth. You still have time You can do a filming day you can edit and day and do whatever and are late. Deadline is november thirtieth and that will be a ten dollar fee early We kind of Wanted to do the challenge between like late summer and fall on we try to pretty close to one the northeast. Pennsylvania film festival has a festival. The festival usually is in march But it's just a pain the butt film in the winter. that can't be done. It's just a pain in the butt to film in the winter so we had the challenge earlier this year so it was. We kicked it off on september first skinner complete in the end of november to give people that end of summer fall timeframe which is still pretty nice to film. It's actually unseasonably warm now. Still which is awesome northeast pennsylvania. So i hope everyone can participate in the film challenge. It's a really great challenge to be creative and to just get yourself out there and start making films it's a real catalyst for people on lake like this is like if you wanna skies the limit if you want to do any type of film you want and have all the requirements inc for the challenge. I wanted to participate in the challenge. One year i actually wrote my script. And i just couldn't get anyone to get enough pete. I couldn't get a crew and actors together to do it. But i was like i'm going to keep the script and i'm gonna keep working on it and i'm gonna eventually produce it so i wrote a script. Siro my script for the mystery box challenge. This call fallout. And so i kept working on it and working on the script editing. I had my colleagues rita the detailer with me at lunch. They gave me feedback. So i just kept the script that i wrote for the mystery box kept working working working at and i gave it to my friend bridget. She edited it for me. Give me feedback. I kept ending it in editing. It got to a point where i thought it was good. And i just didn't then the pandemic again the pandemic hits and i just haven't i have not produced the film yet but i do want to. It's not really conducive to film during the pandemic. Because it's all takes place in a basement so really. The premise of fallout is. There's a group of friends who are hunkering down for an impending nuclear attack. While one of their friends is outside could be dead could not be dead Who knows and they're really freaked out in steph happens in. I don't want to give too much away. But i decided to submit that script to a couple screenplay competitions recently on film freeway in. It's gotten right now. It's gotten six official selections for six different vessels which is pretty awesome Just to get it out there in get it recognized which is pretty cool and it's like all right. This is really something. So i really want to film this. But it's like don't have. It's a catalyst. The mystery box film challenges are really creative. way to really get into filmmaking. Answer really start making something i i mean. I find a lot of people even myself included you. Stop yourself sometimes. If you wanna make film you stop yourself. It's like even. I wanna participate this year. Even though i'm the organizer. I still want to participate in writing my scripts and like i know what i to ride. And it's like okay. Who am i gonna get. Who is like the crew and stuff like that and making it simple so we can get it done in a day and i can edit it on time and get it in. So it's it's in own if you don't end up if you write something you end up not making it to the deadline to keep your script and keep reworking it. I mean you know. They asked for help. Get your parents involved. If the if you need to be can't find anyone you know you don't need to have a professional camera you can. Have someone help you edit or you can try editing yourself. I mean it's just anyone can participate. So i hope you guys Take some time to go to our website. The mystery box film challenge go to our film freeway page. Take a look at the list of items and problems in specifications and requirements and see if he can get a film. We would love to see your film. And you'll get them will be the premier's gonna be at the northeast pennsylvania film festival. We don't know what they yet. Um that'll come close when it gets to march but I'm so glad you guys can join me to for the une boxing. The mystery box film challenge. And i hope you guys participate. If you have any questions you can email the mystery box. Film challenge mystery box any p. Mail dot com. The mystery box challenge is on facebook. Instagram follow us. And we're also on youtube where you can find pass emissions to get some inspiration They're really talented. People who cemented in any type of person. Like if you're just new to filmmaking you for professional like everyone's got some great stuff and it's on youtube for everyone to look at so thank you guys so much for joining us for our scranton talks podcasts. About the mystery box film challenge. To go and participate. There is still time. We're on the halfway point so so go on our phone. Freeway patients admit to our film challenge. It's gonna be awesome. I can't wait to see you guys. And i hope if you do submit You get to join us at the film festival for the premiere of the films in copa. Get to meet you. That'd be great and get to network with other filmmakers as well in scranton So the the film festival usually happens downtown. Scranton in pennsylvania so i hope you guys can participate. Thank you so much for joining us for grand talks podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast to get all the latest episodes. We upload episodes once a month Be sure to check out our facebook instagram. like i said again and we do our scranton. Talks live on facebook and on electric city television. If your local once a month our next Interview is gonna be on october. Nineteenth live on our facebook page on the independent film creative hub. Electric television will be talking with bridget. Lamonica she's a local filmmaker from northeast pennsylvania. Who actually is living and working in atlanta now. So we'll be talking to her about her projects what she's been doing Like working in the film industry. She's fully in the film industry a freelance basis working atlanta. So we'll be talking with her on october nineteenth at seven fifteen pm so i hope you can join us for that and thank you once again for joining us on this episode of scranton talks Be sure to check out the independent film creative. A website at www dot com are creative dot com where you can check a directory of pete filmmakers. Who are on there if you need any help finding actors and crew. That's the place to go for the with. You're looking for your crew for your mystery. Buxom challenge in. It's free to sign up so you can make your own directory on there so go there and check it out. Thank you guys so much again. Be sure to tell all your friends about scranton talks. Podcasts can't wait to hear from you on the next episode.
As Tunisia’s President Cements One-Man Rule, Opposition Grows
"Two thousand and eleven revolution in tunisia triggered the arab spring and the country was hailed as a beacon of democracy. But now after the president's qeisi edge gave himself polit rule by decree two months after he sucked. The prime minister suspended parliament and assumed executive authority. Several thousand people have demonstrated against him in the biggest show of public anger since his coup. Well joining me. Eliza volkmann a freelance journalist based in tunis elizabeth. Thanks for coming on. How has tunisia reach this point. Since the heady days of two thousand eleven what happened to the democratic gains the the big problem in tunisia has been a downward spiral intensive While it's been negative economic development unfortunately The there's been a lot of problems within parliament's because the complicated list system has meant that this never been a majority policy. So one of the big problems politically is that you've just had this very kind of rambunctious politics point-scoring within the assembly and not the type of results that would have liked to
The Latest: UK to give 1M doses to South Korea in shot swap
"The World Health Organization says the number of new covert nineteen cases continue to fold lost week with three point six million new cases reported globally down from four million new infections the previous week last week's drop marked the first substantial decline for more than two months with falling covert nineteen cases in every world region in its latest update on the pandemic released WHO's said there were major decreases in cases in two regions a twenty two percent full in the Middle East and a sixteen percent drop in south East Asia the U. N. health agency said there were just under sixty thousand deaths in the past week a seven percent decline I'm sorry I shockingly
Inside Look at World’s First 3D-Printed Rocket
"Now to our series the new space race in our exclusive inside. Look at something that could revolutionize space travel. It's the world's first three d. printed rocket. Here's jacob board. It wants took thousands of american engineers more than a decade to get something into space. Now this company says it's huge three d. printers can make a rocket in two months. Maybe less we have a fourth generation printer if you haven't talked about publicly yet but it's ten times faster printing than this so instead of building a rocket few slides in sixty days. It'll take six days. Not only can the company make the big parts of a rocket like a nosecone but they can also make all the intricate components of the engines to one zero. The first launch plan for twenty twenty. Two relativity rockets is like a lower budget competitor to spacex carrying satellites for nasa the department of defense and a half dozen private companies at about a quarter of competing launch prices. But with one point three billion in funding it doesn't exactly feel low budget clients. I'm assuming are going to pay you enough to somehow make this all work more than enough to justify it. We make twelve million dollars launch from the customers. We signed up. We've signed up more launches than any other company in history before flying. Ellis doesn't just want to make deliveries into orbit though. I want to put a million people in mars. How far out into space do you think a commercial space industry can take it. It's really about the time line. And i think i liked it very much to back when we found founded the new world with christopher columbus. Yes certainly it'll be government. I dislike the new world was and then it'll transform into commercial. Ancient ambitions built on new
Cowboys Defensive End DeMarcus Lawrence Will Miss 6-8 Weeks With Broken Foot
"Going on with the cowboys. Upfront what can you tell me about. Tank lawrence randy gregory. Big game for the cowboys here in los angeles against the chargers. What do you know about that. Yeah so i. I think like the you know demarcus lawrence obviously. That's a really unfortunate break for them. And he's had injuries in the past. And i i don't know if i'd relates that because there's a foot thing and it's sort of a free thing but he's going to be gone for two months and that like to me. I just sort of looking at how patchwork they've been and they'll get gregory back but like like you know with randy gregory and then over the years taking swings on different guys like alden smith and and and and You know and and if you want to go further back hardy And how they've just sort of continuous roll the dice try and get those positions right And lawrence was the one that they really hit on and now he's out for two months and you know. I think the cowboys defensively did a lot of things well in the opener but the fact is such a big part of the way that defense worked and i worked and i think dan coins a fantastic defensive coordinator but a big part of how the defense works seattle type of defense works is. Can you get heat on the pass or can you come from multiple angles quarterback and lawrence is one of those guys when he's at his best. He changes the math for everybody else. He's gonna change the matchups. He's going to get more guys singled up or guys are going to be favourable spa favorable spot because of him. So now you take them out of the equation and i think it's a big big loss for the cowboys.
US Unemployment Claims Rise After Hitting Pandemic Low
"A rise in covert nineteen infections may be affecting the job market the number of Americans seeking jobless benefits rose last week by twenty thousand after hitting a pandemic low with the week prior it's a sign more infections may be leading to more layoffs the delta variants spread has slowed the economy in recent weeks with many Americans holding off on travel hotel stays and eating out jobless claims have been falling steadily for two months coinciding with the scaling back of jobless aid for millions of people Sager made Donnie Washington
"two month" Discussed on The Last Word with Lawrence O'Donnell
"Yet. Another member of trump's inner circle has been indicted. Another one tom barrack. The chair of trump's twenty seventeen inaugural committee was arrested in california today and charged with failing to register as a foreign lobbyist of the united arab emirates and act required by the justice department. According to the new york times quote federal prosecutors said that mr barrack used his position as an outside adviser to mr trump's campaign to publicly promote the uae's agenda while soliciting direction feedback and talking points from senior officials and quote america's also been charged with obstruction of justice and making false statements during a twenty nine thousand nine interview with federal agents. A spokesperson for tom. Barrack said quote. Mr barrot has made himself voluntarily available to investigators from the outset. He is not guilty and we'll be pleading not guilty and quote. The charges were brought by federal prosecutors in new york. Who asked that barrack remain in custody until his bail hearing. He's a very very rich guy. They cited his wealth his access to a private jet and quote the defendants deep and longstanding ties to countries that do not have extradition treaties with the united states and quote namely saudi arabia and the uae. That bail hearing has been set for this coming monday. July twenty six in los angeles now for those of you keeping track at home. Who doesn't playing this game. Tom barrack is the seventh trump associate to be indicted and although he was not associated with the campaign. Elliott brody the vice chairman of trump's 2017 inaugural committee was also charged with failing to register as a foreign agent. Just like tom. Barrack brady pleaded guilty in two thousand twenty two violating this very act the foreign agents registration act. He was pardoned by donald trump on his last day in office. Keep track of sometimes but the guy to help us is neil cut. He's a former acting solicitor. General and msnbc contributor. I mean meal most. These people didn't need the money by the way you know tom. Barrack certainly didn't need the money. I don't know what it is. What what attracts. What does donald trump find these people. Does he find them. I'm going to ask my control while you're answering that to put up the screen that shows all those people we just showed connected trump. Who have been indicted. Talk to me about this. Neil holly i think you know the screen and you said it right at the outset you know. This is another one of trump's confidants. That's been indicted the astonishing thing. Today's indictment what underscores just how many people surrounding donald trump have been accused of crimes. You were asking isn't about love of money or something. I don't know it seems like basically you had to be a fell in order to qualify for a job with donald trump. That was the qualification. And perhaps the biggest loser today in all of this is alan weisselberg. Who just realized he could have been making you a money. Instead of just settling tuitions arise which is what he got an and by the way you mentioned something interesting. There's a reason why these these laws exist. This thing that jared kushner was involved in an barrack was involved in and others were involved in which really became this fight between the country of cutter and saudi arabia and the united arab emirates. I mean it has real world implications working for foreign governments for the purpose of influencing. Us policy has real world implications. Those countries embargoed cutter for a very very long time. You said it beautifully alley and you know this act that he was accused of violating the foreign agents. Registration act goes back to nineteen thirty eight and in advances one of the most serious purposes in government at saying. Look you want to lobby for a foreign government. You can do that. We're not going to block you from that. He's just gotta tell us you gotta be up and up about it. You gotta register in advance so that everyone knows in the accusations in this indictment are scary. Basically one of trump's best friends was trying to insert stuff in a trump speeches and other things without acknowledging it all that he was on behalf of a foreign government. And you know that's been a flat violation of law since well before you and i were bored. It's big bucks. The the indictment alleges possibly one point five billion dollars that this fund controlled by tom. Barrack got in berks. Defenses has only ten percent of that fund. That's still a hundred fifty million dollars in so the idea that you can do that and profit this way. I mean that's what the law is all about blocking ford influence in our government at least without disclosing it in advance so generally speaking the violations of this foreign agents registration act are procedural. There's something where somebody hasn't filled something out. They generally let them. It does not not a whole bunch of people go to jail for this sort of thing but there's a fundamental importance to the law. There's as you just articulated. There's a reason it's there. And it's about transparency right. We we need to actually know when decisions are made whether somebody else would some other interests whether it be financial or world domination or something is influencing decision that the united states government or the president of the united states has to be taking so it seems procedural and bureaucratic on the surface but there's a fundamental philosophical good reason for laws like this one hundred percent and it's not procedural alito with all due respect. I mean this is one of the hearts of american government which is again strikes about it. Says you can lobby for a foreign government. You've gotta tell everyone in. This isn't like something unknown. I mean every person who works in this town in washington. Dc knows about this act and knows like to stay on the right side of the reason. Why cases aren't brought isn't because it's technical or procedural it's because nobody in their right mind would violate this. So that's point one and point to is just remember the indictment. Today's not just about the foreign agents registration act. It's also about the fact that trump's one of his best friends guys indicted today. Tom barrack live at the fbi in obstructed justice when he was asked about this and you know he faces four charges of lying during a voluntary interview. Talk about digging your own grade up. Yeah that's that's a glad you brought that point up. It's not that. I just forgot to submit the form. It's at the fbi. Asked me about this. And i say i'm not speaking to you because he had a right to do that. He had a right to do. I watch it on law and order all type. You could tell people you're not talking to him. He didn't do that. He talked to them and then he lied to them and now he's in trouble for it. Neil thank you for helping us through this one because it puzzles me boggles my mind. Neil caccia former acting united states solicitor general news and msnbc legal contributor coming up. We'll be joined by civil rights icon. Dolores huerta on how she sees the fight for voting rights..
"two month" Discussed on The Last Word with Lawrence O'Donnell
"Now it's time for the last word we're al. She is an for lawrence tonight. Good evening rachel. You skip the part about how they will delay they will vote against it and yet these other bills which are popular amongst americans somehow take credit for the passing of a bill that they didn't have didn't show any support for the more chance rich or the more things. Change good to see you my friend tamar. Thank you you too alley. Thanks well we are tired of this in april of twenty twenty at the brutal start of the cova nineteen pandemic the same month. Donald trump suggested that americans might inject bleach to beat the virus then attorney general bill barr told donald trump point blank that he'd lose reelection because voters were tired of the chaos of the trump administration. That's according to the new book. I alone can fix it by our first guest tonight. Carol leg and phil rucker because chaos was always a feature of the trump white house. Most of us were tired of it. Then we're still tired of it now that he's out of office but something has changed in the last few days for the people who never grew tired for the diehard trump lovers in hardcore conservatives. It seems like they are starting to realize the danger of embracing the chaos and jumping off the cliff with trump case in point. Here's one line from a wild unhinged statement that trump sent out yesterday quote. People are refusing to take the vaccine because they don't trust the biden administration. They don't trust the election results and quote. There was more but that's all wheel. Say right now. We're only repeating that part because it's part of a broader point that i'm trying to make care. Donald trump the most influential person in the republican party by far is still lying about the election. but now he's encouraging people to doubt the efficacy of the corona virus vaccine at the same time. Kidding me trump himself got vaccinated in january. That's not just trump chaos. This is trump disinformation. This is trump. Disinformation that could kill some conservatives finally seemed to be growing tired of it today. Trump's longtime friend. The quarterback tom brady mocked trump at the white house for his election. Lives not a lot of people think that we could have won. In fact they think about forty percent of the people. Still don't think we.
"two month" Discussed on CREATE with Katrina Julia
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"two month" Discussed on CREATE with Katrina Julia
"Kobe. Ruins are about forty minutes. Outside of to loom is a larger ruin site that into loom and includes beautiful synopsis nearby. I took an adult bust to cobra for about two dollars. I share video behind the scenes. Shoe housing up there within less than five miles of kobe are three beautiful synopsis. Close by include shuhada dunk it in molten ha. I believe in june. I visited chew high. I think you'll agree. Ref off the beaten path after getting to co by. I rented a bike for about five dollars to ride to the. And if you haven't yet you guys definitely check out my blog and my show on the best in this interview and everything you need to know also have a video of too hot. Then i'll lose. Come into the light. This statue crafted by daniel hopper. A south african artist in team became a permanent installation in two thousand eighteen through nineteen. Right by a hall to loo- it is one of those. Did you even visit him. Pictures now is definitely one of the top ota worthy instagram worthy shots until i by tier for free and visiting the statues free. It's right along the road and on the other side of it is a rav as well as the beach. Playa del carmen about you. But i prefer calmness in quietest quietness as a result plan. No carmont is not somewhere. I wanna stay long term. I do love the sound of the ocean. It's a great day trip. I took an ad addo or bust here for five. Usd the beautiful church in the center of town full nonetheless monument fifth avenue on the beach make for a great day trip in mexico. Foodi favorites to loom so many foodi favorite spots for you to love some of my favorites. Include rincon champion nicole golfer mexican authentic food and juice leaders with great prices antioch. Oh stands near the center of town. Walking towards chad. I we supermarket on the main road with each taco less than a dollar more on my favorites include e-eh leaves and burrito more. You can see some images on my blog and videos on may to the creating traveling continue into mexico with my second month can stay tuned for what's coming up as i wrap up my third month into mexico within july Creating while you work from home and your traveling locally or around the world you are loving this series you will love my seventy five tolls and resources to create a life and business you love and remember friends create transform and inspire. You are born to you guys. If i've been about the chretien club mastermind. What i'm about to tell you is an understatement of excitement. I am super excited about created the summit online coming to you january second through the nine two thousand twenty one with hands on experiences with hell with well with business in travel and so much more you are not only going to learn to get healthy make money and bill brands. You going to have so many incredible experiences even in our free preview on january. Second you're gonna get a sneak. Peek into wellness and workouts moneymatters. Social media. Like a boss. Pr travel influencer marketing. And so much more. The bulls summit is going to include extended versions of all that plus digital workbook for the day and content access. End a seven day challenge online after the event on top of not if you upgrade to the full summit and the mastermind you get all that plus added sessions for several days after like content batching financial strategy videos like a boss and one month inner mastermind. The chretien club. Which you're going to hear about it a bit. And if you upgrade to the bull on experienced vip you get the full summit. The masterminds seventy challenge the online course in a week horse and a slew of other choices in behind the scenes with our travel partners with our media partners or online partners. And more the you can learn about in the show notes and you guys. There is options with everything from the free pig to seventy five dollars. Two hundred seventy five dollars to two hundred ninety seven dollars. And i've got him it plans. I've got payment plans on the options for the full summit in the mastermind at one seventy five which is broken out into two payments at eighty each and the vip summit. That's two hundred ninety seven that you get all of the things. You get options a three installments. You is to pay one. Twenty five at a shot. Seventy five dollar discount win you pay bull. So are you going to be creating it with us to now. You guys if you are an influencer if you're a speaker if your host if you are a wants to get featured in wants to learn more about collaborations and sponsorships definitely definitely definitely check out at our website bit life. Chretien dot com check out ambassadors. Page check out our brand page and or email us at imbo. It live chretien dot com. Let's create it if you have not heard about inker. I highly recommend if you were even thinking about starting show you head on over to download the free anchor or go to me her dot and said to get starting so. Let me give you a couple of insights. That i've learned over the last several days on switching my show to anchor. So if you're just tuning in with me for the first time. My show is created with katrina. Julia and i cover all the things on wellness on marketing on biz and travel. And i've had a show now for a couple years. And i've been using puppy which i loved pod bean it was great it was easy to upload etc however when i learned about inker last week and vis as of this recording this is july of twenty twenty i learned that anchor was free number. One free for the people in the back. It's free saving me forty dollars a month. Okay it's the tool is phenomenal. It's super simple to record directly on the platform and edit and there's these amazing features over those tuning in for while there's.
"two month" Discussed on CREATE with Katrina Julia
"Connecting and refocused through my super focus with tommy. Newberry for an eighty twenty approach. So really really honing on honing in on where. My efforts are with community outreach. Like my one two to three hours. A day on that to increase impact in results and then about an hour a day on content about twenty percent and then twenty percent other meaning clearing scaling etc and then leaving twenty to forty percent flexible whether that's to increase pitching increase connecting on calls with community in clients working our clients work etcetera speaking of community in june. And just to give you guys. Some insight community specifically includes brands communities and business to business proposals. So in june i submitted over forty pitches for ongoing wellness. Marketing business in travel and his totaled over six figures including projects with matador. Work away safety wings outside a remote year to name a few. Some of those. I've received responses are ready enclosed them out some of them i have not i and i've set deadlines for them that likely. If they're gonna go ahead. Likely i'll hear by the end of july now. That's not to say that. Obviously i'm not open. If i hear later i may but typically i find that you typically hear back in thirty to sixty days in some way shape or form in addition the time with. Fsi's virtual assistance outreached. Weekly you to monthly with fortune. Five hundred contacts in hr marketing travel bureaus and brands influence or platforms free light lansing platforms. Wins also included a project coming up in buckle are which will include business plans media and potential changes to their menu the which may increase allow for opportunities in wellness depending on what the owner there wants as well but i shared that upfront also this month included bio spock leak into loom and i shared all about that with botox. I'll be sharing more press releases on over four platforms that were now over the last couple of weeks and also calls and with the community focus of focusing forty to sixty percent dealey here second priority of creators. Included interactions launches in collaborations with creators. Who are coaches blogger. Social media gurus and content creators and we launched the created some again with increasing collaborations students simplifying collaborations and getting more responses and likely and nand july will be launching on chretien club and in august or september on management within voters. Still so those that have increased reach so again increased impact in that crossing over into community last but not least with creatives which include nine to five or side hustler and those that want to increase travel in the month of june. I published over eight blogs over thirty instagram reels. Over ten videos over five shows and worked on my book. I also increased simplifying content in decrease the time i spend i focused more time co working spaces increasing both focus productivity and results. And if you do travel to to loom and you're curious about some of the co working spaces that i was at the included holistic tulu cocoa more More holistic an coca connemara are both have beautiful garden and outdoor space. Hotel cobb loom which is one of my favorites also outdoors and includes a beautiful pool. Hotel dilute hotel elect to loom is in south beach to loom and right along the coast aloft. Hotel rooftop is great with beautiful views and the pool. If you don't mind some louder music just depending on the day you go and if you follow along on my instagram julia fit. I've shared numerous instagram wheels while visiting these beautiful spots and speaking of instagram royals. I have great. Show on a podcast. Seven instagram reels. That will leave you really like a boss and if you follow along on the link in the show notes on the blog you can find the blog directly linked under the co working spaces section and as of july this year. There are no minimums beautiful outdoor spaces in fast wi fi but of course you know any minimums etc are subject to change in the ways they business so keep that in mind and i definitely recommend any anytime you go. Just go to recent reviews on trip advisor woolen. You'll typically see that. And i'm also a big proponent. And i usually share as well so within benchers this month in the beginning to about mid june it rained quite a bit so i spent quite a bit of time working and sitting in my cabana and visiting co working spaces towards the end of a full week of nonstop rain decided would explorer some. I was definitely starting to feel happen. Fever on one of the last rainy days in june i visited mystic museum which is a great activity but especially for rainy day and the rest of the month. I've more than caught up on adventures being katrina the explorer warlike. I like to say where the world is. Trina or being limitless. Wonder woman you didn't know already. Biking around to loom is the best way to get around from spot to spot another ways collective owes usually about a dollar to two dollars per ride. I found taxis to be excessively expensive. No matter the options tulio and there are no ubers as of july twenty twenty one into so some adventures at a glance that i did this month included mystic museum. Koba chew new out that close to kobe. Ven alludes playa del carmen el burrito amore e ali. If you haven't already make sure you check out my top ten things to do in one day travel guides all around the world that continue. I'll be sharing these coming up onto loom so make sure you follow along and those are listed under those categories on the blog as well so mr cot is a beautiful transformational experience museum and i have images and videos within the blog in the show notes to sharing peppy. So hose story interactively. I took collective here in back from the center of town for about two dollars. Total the entrance at the time of my visiting. I actually got a resident rate. Because i'm staying here over a couple of months so they were super nice about.
"two month" Discussed on CREATE with Katrina Julia
"Appropriate with katrina julia. This is all about helping you. Create a life and business. You hands on with tips tools and technology. It's about the freedom freedom of expression of time of location of an ultimate financial freedom. I understand the struggle. I've been there. I've walked through and continue to lock it walking from fear to fate devaluing sell pre to love calling and bondage dollars. So it's been a journey as you can see walking dead right there with you on your own. Green a life and business learn all the themes about wellness about how about lifestyle and travel. You will learn how creating it and how you can create it too. So who am i. I'm katrina julia. Lifestyle entrepreneur a creator at a traveling welcome to mexico and my second month in twenty twenty. One it is amazing. How differet twenty twenty one is especially when compared to twenty twenty from my life in so many ways. I started off twenty twenty one with sharing one week creating life and business. I love in each country visiting on my travel to seven continents instead. Now i decided to start sharing a monthly series on creating an adventuring. The last six months have passed by in the blink of an eye at the same time. There is so much life in each moment each day each week. Each month to give you insight. I'm sharing highlights from the month of june. Twenty twenty one i will share some summary highlights and inside of creating an adventuring in to loom mexico. This month led to increased focus and discipline in business and finances with community creators in creatives and i intensified my focus on an eighty twenty approach my ventures into mexico in june included mystic museum. Copa ruins chew hostage. Not their van. A- lose playa del carmen hayloft rooftop and some budi favorites just to name a few. I continue to create transform and inspire during my travel to seven continents adventures. And if you have it tuned into that on the show or read it on the blog if you follow the link in the show notes to the second month into loom blog post you can find that link at the bottom of the first paragraph so my monthly recaps will clued highlights and summaries of my stays creating with community creatives wins and progress and ventures and this month i continued my experience and stay with my mayan. Juggle cabana into loom airbnb. For the second month. I adore my stay here until loom and the owner. Diana is amazing. I highly recommend without any hesitation and stay tuned for my july. Recap also follow along on. Instagram katrina jewel. Yeah fit because i got to meet diana and her boyfriend in real life until their please mentioned me if you reached out to book for potential. Promotions and perks. Entrepreneurship is not for the faint of heart. In case you haven't figured that out yet every overnight success you see included a prequel or prologue of seasons of patience crowding persistence purpose and pain. Don't let anyone fool you. The bigger the dream and destiny the likelier you have more opportunities for refinement than you can count in every area of life with your character hashtag book god and i wouldn't trade any of it whether you are aside hustler you work in night five creating a life in business. You love fulltime and are traveling the world. I hope is series encourages you and inspires you to take limitless leaps of faith. And if you've been tuning into the weekly series definitely let me know on what you think. What the monthly. And definitely you guys tag. Share on stories create oppose taggers. That katrina julia faye at life. Grecian definitely share if you leave a review on the show i will shut you out in the intro. Show you're seeking freedom in your time your location expression community in old timothy financial free. Let's create it. I'm right here with you. On a path of purpose to freedom there are ways to transform your wellness online business travel. Whether it's with all forces are automating and scaling your business like a boss in definitely check those episodes on the show and on the blog and head to the show notes for this blog. And you'll find it under the paragraph of creating a scale creating. it's killing life business community to creatives this month. Two of my stay into loom in time is flying by were shirt for more insights on images and shots of my my in. Jungle cabana airbnb. You'll find it in the blog and on my youtube and for routines on how i start my secrets. Seven morning and nights insights into my wellness journey with early woven attrition including losing over fifty five pounds over five years ago choosing to be alcohol-free definitely check that out outline out on the blog disclaimer. The average person loses a half a pound to a pound a week and we always include tips tools had with wellness wealth and business in any online course and live experience. So let's talk about my suber focus. So i'm creating life and business community i love. I am receiving three thousand twenty five thousand dollars daily weekly monthly easily for wellness media on travel with incredible community. This was my goal in may and this continued on in june and july. Because although i'm getting closer. I have not hit yet. Top three priorities number one community number two creators number three creatives so what's also massively shifted within june and now into july is three key things as far as progress is i joined a five week challenge with page hathaway and i joined a wealth challenged with eric worry focused on network marketing and reaching out and.
"two month" Discussed on Radio Boston
"There is a lot of fear in communities. There have been increases of mass shootings police brutality so on and so forth. But you know if there's guidance especially you're saying from the giffords law center to say you know there are regulations in place to really limit The ability for shop to be in a community. Let's say you know. I would say you know. It's up to the residents to really decide what they wanna do. But this policy you. Sometimes you have to make the choice that makes the most sense at the time so listeners wanna talk about. This phones are ringing. I'm gonna take a bunch so let's go to the phones. We've got donna in dorchester. Donna go ahead. I wouldn't say that. I'm a dorchester resident and in boston They don't really have gun shop. And if if you a lot of black people hispanics are now getting More gun licences. More than ever. And i that's important to know and we need to make it accessible for. Everyone and having gunshots allows people to do it safely. They're not registering their firearm. Somewhere else and then bringing them into the city. At least this way people know where they are who has And and Accessible to everyone and we and people need to be able to protect themselves. And i think that's the point of the second amendment and this is a way that people aren't buying them from illegally in boston and this and or other cities close to bus and i think having an accessible having on it is more sensible and and equitable taking it back from you there donna and before i go to the next call data in two thousand twenty did play out. Donna's point that we were seeing increased gun sales to people of color in the united states. We actually talked about that on air at one point last year. All right adam in marblehead. Adam go ahead. Hi if we agree that that access to guns is a dangerous public health issue that we can treat legislating the same way that we did. Unfortunately abortion is being treated abortions are right and people put restrictions on abortion in different states. So there's nothing different about us saying okay. Fine it's legal to purchase a firearm that these are the rules and restrictions that are required to access it. And so i thanks for that for you. Know city Taking point of view and make more typical that they choose. Thanks for that. Call adam and we will give the last word on this too nancy in copley square..
"two month" Discussed on Radio Boston
"A legal challenge. Concerns are that such a challenge could actually create case law that might limit communities all around the country and their ability to restrict gun sellers so This idea of a ban goes to a vote of the whole newton city council on july twelfth. I wanna talk about that listeners. Do you have a position on gun sellers in your community. Should there be outright bans. Is it worth if you are against guns. Is it worth banning gun sellers if it could open up supreme court challenges and is it appropriate to try to ban gun sellers in a country that has the second amendment one. Eight hundred four two three eight two five five. That's one eight hundred four to three talk. Murray francis reactions to what's playing out newton. yes This is sticky. I meet what i want personally. A gun shop in my community. No and i hear what you're outlining. The tension of you know are we poking the the beast basically and you know at the end of the day. It's up to new residents in the city council. What they decide to do. And it's it's not just about the gun shop. It's about the conditions that create violence and communities and gun violence in communities so we oftentimes focus on this acute part of the conversation but it's also hurry investing in mental health services. What's the larger conversation that we also need to be having But yes sticky twenty. Let you jump in there. Yeah i would. I would. Personally i would say i have absolutely no problem with the community that chooses to Put a ban on gun shops within their borders. I have no problem with that at all. but i have to say you know as a as a political observer i you know i just don't get why when you have you know a sort of a almost a de facto ban now and you look at the makeup of this supreme court s mary. Francis said re francis said you know why you would poke this particular bear To to to to for for not much else other than to kind of.
"two month" Discussed on Live Your Dreams Awake Podcast
"For a while hundred percent like you have to go your god if you know. This is what you need to change your circumstances like. Just honestly don't worry about how your training today never tried to take heavier gonna get something because there's so many other ways that could come to you that you're blocking such chose golden. Just have faith just works. I just hear this message over and over again. And i think off the top of your from different voices or different energies are different. But i'm so grateful. I'm so delighted breaking so delighted like it's just amazing like like only nikola winds. She can go and tell us in the baseball great. I'm like every day. Share your wins junior and then some people asian. They're like this is a way to you. Say we're like it took a detained share with us. I know yeah. It was hired. And i'm not one for put myself out there. Yeah i just had to let you know during the week of this because it was just so random and i couldn't not associate it with the phone sri because it was two days after putting it just that was that's what bothers values and this is something that's been at least six years kind of causing stressing. Is you for family. Members so for like a magic wand just waved over the situation on. It's just amazing amazing. I love it so good so good and it was annoying. Elsie like share about your experience like in the community or like just while we're here. I'm happy to hear anything else you'd like to share. You know we don't have it for long but grateful to your story which of my head earlier that i wanted to say is complying. Yeah i i just can't recommend it enough like just have to do i am. It's just been amazing. And it's been amazing for a couple of years that i've been watching and seeing everybody else's wins to achieve gamble to within a matter of months like i was needed hoping by the end of the year to have a win but after months to be able to have such a massive tang so hopefully a few more months of tell all the new house understatement on being is like seeing that trajectory of people over the journey and it is a great. I think that's also really good attention to hobbies. I want to be shared with the lot like listening. Surprisingly it's not like this for me just like bill belichick -solutely. Yeah it's just crazy. I suppose when. I i find you. I just connected because obviously you're talking about round dublin than you had stalled and you're trying to sell ting's i think you said that was in two thousand twelve and in two thousand twelve. I was doing around do installs. Farmers market selling aloe vera products. And it was like. Wow look how in the nine years how much your life has changed and i was like i wanna be you know. Did you love that conversation with nikola. Seriously what an amazingly sweet lady I'm so excited to be working with her to really call hinder new house but also to start working on bungling your new house so wherever you are in the world whatever. Your house is whatever's going on in your life it can be turned around when we start using the power of funkaway. Just like nikola. If you enjoy this and you want to see impregnable results just like nikola you come and join me as patricio dot com forward slash masterclass and check out my special training. That is available for you to really learn how to start embracing this from. Scratch undo similar trainings. The basic training said. I have shared on that. Nikola got went through at the very beginning when she started her journey with me. So that's patricio dot com slash masterclass. Thanks so much for listening to the live. Your dreams podcast with myself patricia. Low and i appreciate your time and i really look forward to sharing some really amazing feature episodes with you now as a thank you for joining the show. I want to give you a free meditation that i created called step into success. It's a powerful meditation to help step in and visualize your highest potential. So all you have to do is go to go. Geo daas patricia. Logan dot com forward slash high vied. That's go dot patricia. Lohan dot com ford sauce high vied. And if you haven't done so already please do. Hit the subscribe button. So you won't miss any more of these incredible episodes that i've lined up for you on proxy evenly review us on itunes. I'd be so grateful. Now i'm gonna leave you with this quote from henry david. Thoreau my favorite close. Watt is the team of our podcast. Living our dreams awake as he says are truths life is when we are in dreams. Awake lots of love from valley. And we'll see you soon bye..
"two month" Discussed on Dateable Podcast
"We interviewed a startup founder on the show and his whole was. I sleep on my couch at at the office. I'm married to my company. My kids are my employees. I'M NOT GONNA get into relationships. Not a priority. First of all we air the episode like fifty women reach out to him was like I could change your mind. He's our most reached out to guest of a the one that's like I don't want to release. Yeah like flat out by then. Two years later he is. He's now married. Okay now that but when we interview that Lee interviewed him After the fact and we asked what changed and he said this I think is the most interesting takeaway from which was he felt at the time relationships would be a burden or they would distract him from his goals in his dreams but when he met his now wife she actually added to that. She empowered him to pursue his career and his passions. She never dragged him down. She lifted him up even more. Yeah for me exactly what it is. I'm still getting over my divorce. I was married for a hot minute and minute. Two months bullock two months literally we. We barely sent out the thank you cards after our wedding. She's bringing up the divorce and she can even say it she. So we've got buried in September and all are are real honeymoon. We had you know trips and weekenders afterwards but this year this was two thousand fourteen okay. This is not this year so much better like this happened last week filed last week. I lift your show this. We had guys dating for dating or the skin into this. We use for a year and a half before I proposed and we were living together for most of that time. We're both korean-american About the same age. How'd you meet? We met we met through actually. Pk reading your entrance was in some ways. That's kind of actually true. She pay for your breast implants. A-minus cups bladed What happened was So I grew up Christian But I left the church and Similar to Piquet we so we have this. Overlap of talking about are grown up religious but now religious anymore. He invited me to meet up. That's for people who are trying to leave the church. Leave the faith. How and that's how I met my ex. She was also there. So we had a lot of things in common being korean-american around the same age very overbearing parents on both trying to leave the church in the convert ourselves so we had a lot of fun discussions early on and we started dating and we we fell in love pre much right away at the time. I was switching careers. I was trying to be a realist. I was a real estate agent But I'm just not good salesman Apart do you want to know? Where are you going to come back? Yeah it's not good at all. Don't mind the rights there's just neighborhoods roommates. Yes roommates roommates We and then we got a little puppy dog and we're living together. Having a lot of fun traveling I proposed and we got married got married about two years into being together once we got married and I was kind of still kind of struggling as a real estate agent. I wasn't doing that well. Commission job is brutal Absorb for me is trying to get my head off just like head in the clouds like love my wife my my new bride but at same time trying to as a man is like. How do I fix this mess about like? I'm not making that much doe here. I gotTa bring home the Bacon you know. Got A like a a pressure. Prove might prove my worth you know Especially as a new husband is like I figure this out got a free. So do I keep on doing this or do I just back out in something else? That's the knock on me that I was just I. I wasn't really going at it. Objectively and pragmatically eligible dragging my feet in this process when someone else was materially involved the knock on her what she didn't give me enough time Two months we barely think sent thank you cards to our wedding gusts. She's like you want to go to our honeymoon friends. I'm like we are friends. Like what do you mean friends like? No YOU WANNA go John. Hayman as friends. I'm like way what sit down. Let's talk what do you mean is fresh just like I don't know if we're meant to be? What are you talking about? We just got married so that just went down nice rabbit hole. We barely eked out the honeymoon. Who is the worst trip? Ever dig on the honeymoon did go on a honeymoon saw quote we cannot believe which we just thought we didn't follow yet but we just thought we we back up for because this is exploiting the communication staff also much she was just like we're gonNA like quicko France. She never brought up like she was there any literally was asking me. Can we follow divorce and still go on honeymoon together? But she never brought up like. I'm feeling this or like can we like talk about a lot of fights about finances. We had a lot of fights then discussion. But you fought. We bought more than we discussed. And when we discussed it was very hard negotiations. So it's all about finances you think that was the demise this we were not good for each other in the sense that not just like we weren't working on ourselves trying to prove but I like to go hang out and just act a fool and drink and have fun right. She has some level of social anxiety. She does not like drinking. She does not like living in this adventurous thing I have. She has a very stable career for me is like oh. It's everything's adventure. Life is experiment. Let's figure this out. I don't know maybe just opposites attract. You know so for two years at worked for two years. We had a great time. Were you fighting while you were dating? But once we got engaged once that rock singer she got into different boat why not. I didn't realize that finance to like it became like this is about both of us. Were when you're dating. It's your finance your dad different. It's different it's tough. We also interviewed a divorce lawyer on our show and he said I'll surface level. Most couples get divorced because of finance or because of X. Sacks lack of stacks but he said those to actually go way deeper into a much much more prevalent issue in a relationship and it's beyond sex and finances those are like kind of the consequences. Sofer's level easy things to point to you but everything goes down way deeper. Yeah and I. I don't know I don't know exactly what it is. I I've Four or five years move removed from that and for me. I'm still like trying to figure out what really what happened. There you know so. She filed for divorce after the honeymoon. So afterwards we're just trying to get along to get along but then like my career wasn't going so well at all. She just had it you know so. She broke down. I'm just like because she. She needed me to be on board. She wouldn't do it all by herself. She needed meet me onboard with the whole separation process. So I was like okay fine. Let's Stewart it's a sunk cost. Let's just let's just move on. Let's eat you go your way Michael. How many months after you got married? I was pretty much a year on the on the dog beyond finance. She never brought up. What like it was solely finances. She talked about there was nothing else brought out. She's like if you just had a meager salary. Like I be happy with that and for me. I had a tough because we fought so much over that I had a talked by improving. What what she said you don't think he's. I don't think it's a meager. Well this is what we also here in relationships too because people think they're these milestones that will save your relationship. Oh we if we need this much money. We'd be happy if we had a kid we'd be happy and when they reach these milestones through all in my head while called that like what we think of marriage and happily ever after is is what I call a promotion that never arrived like especially growing up Asian American out religious conservative families. Everything right family is the church So it's like for meet. My Dad is just obsessed instill. It's about me getting on the only son to me getting married and have kids and all that so that's just like an all these steps but what I experience with my ex just like no. That's just it's never enough. It's not enough very almost like it's not a not a knock on her. Just the the wiring within us on you know and for me. It's like yeah I know it's not enough. I have to get ahead to keep on climbing the ladder after giving boba grant like it was really interesting for me. It's a shock and I was just soul became a little creek monsters when she would say these things while we're finding because what we need a car. I'm like we live in New York City. We don't need a car. We have right. I have a ZIPCAR membership. We can this right there at the garage. Why do you need to travel? What do you mean we just got back from a trip? What do you mean why are you fighting about? We're talking about our matrimony here. You're talking about traveling. Like what are you? What are you talking about so I realized that you know People can get not just woman but meant to definitely like people can get into. This weird's deep very odd. The awkwardly personal very personal very deep things the heat in a moment when you're fighting but it's all hard to bring out an and talk about because they can a lot of people can't talk about eve address it even to themselves let alone two yard because we don't have the tools to do so if you didn't know how to describe colors you know read was read you just describing his just like this thing right in. Looks like this and you can't use the words. It's really frustrating. This is why babies cry right. 'cause they can't describe what they're what they're trying to tell you and I think for her behavior to say we need a car you travel. It could all be routed down to. I'm feeling trapped. I'm feeling lonely feeling secure. I'm not feeling but she didn't have the tools and I have the tools to. Hey I understand that. Stability particularly financial stability is very important to you just got engaged or we just got married a woman because for me. I'm not going to go to a job for the sake of bringing home the Bacon for me. Whatever I do for a living and how living is what. That's that's me that link intertwined I need to be a hundred ten percent of what I do. I can't just phone it in so however we're going to reconcile these two. I had the tool and people are very different with that stuff. Like some people are all about just like having a stable lifestyle. Did you ever talk about that like while you were dating before you got engaged? Time to take a quick break for our sponsor some basket honestly. It gives me so much anxiety to cook healthy and delicious meals on a regular basis. And that's exactly why I end up eating out half the time and not good but I feel like I finally found my soulmate with Sun Basket. A service that delivers organic premeasured ingredients with quick healthy recipes. Right to
"two month" Discussed on Dateable Podcast
"<div bis_skin_checked="1">Season 10 Episode 1: Taking Sexy Back</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">00:00:00 - 00:05:01</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">The Dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that the Huffington post calls one of the top ten podcast about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about. From sex parties to sex droughts, date fails a diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host Yue Xu, former dating coach turned dating sociologists. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Krafchick as we explored this crazy dateable world. Hey everyone welcome to another episode of dateable a show all about modern dating season ten. I can't believe we made it to double digits. I can't believe we started season. One just on a whim with our friends and our on season ten with with people who are now our new friends but you know they weren't our friends to begin with no and I. It's so crazy that we've been at it for like four solid solid years. It's got I got to say. This is one of my most committed relationships. I've ever been duly. Even though we joke about us be like lesbian lovers. I really feel like this is a whole new level relationship before I mean people say like you really should date like anyone that becomes a business partner. Yes that is like ends up being marriage and I think for anybody who's curious about how we work I think it's we've both evolved so much in the last ten seasons sounds almost five years that I don't even recognize US anymore. From the you know from the beginning I got now I was like relisting to a couple of old one in it. It's it's actually quite amazing in their great in different ways like I think there was something really nice but our episodes really twenty minutes. They were very short and they were very conversational patients. which was fun? And we've heard a lot of people loving that but we've just got in much deeper over the years and I guess in the beginning I never thought about what I would take away from dateable. I wish I really thought we were GonNa talk about funny dating stories and maybe discuss dating in different cities. Oh Yeah I didn't realize how narrow minded I was in in the beginning but it's nice to have some self awareness around it totally and I think that actually is what has kept us going. People always are like. Are you going to run out of material. Never it's there's always something new with modern day dig. I see our inbox because every day. There's something new I actually. You feel badly that we can't reply to as Mariah people because it's just yet there's so many stories out there and that's why in season ten we wanted to bring you more we want the CNN season and we want this to be a very memorable season because you know hitting double digits. It's a big deal so in the last few months. We had a few first Chris Times for the first time. Live imprison shows in San Francisco and Cenex Sherry pop we did a few of first streaming streaming live shows. Yeah different than they facebook live. But we'll keep doing more of those and you've really really catch them on facebook. Live to if you miss them but we had some really good ones because we used a platform called vocal where you could actually have listeners. Mike Up Enjoying the conversations of superfund is have fans and listeners honors that we don't know at all just be on the video screen with us and we're going to bring all equipment to south by southwest again this year one of our favorite. I think it's my receiver. I did not know what I was getting into last year. Because you were like we gotta go. It's the best. I could go either way the shirt like whoa the entire time. Yeah we're back. Some Isaac are tied this year. We're bringing friends producer. We're bringing some other people so yeah and if of you are going to be in Austin at the same time his up let's meet up. Maybe new book live together record a podcast APP. So you never know anything could happen to south back. And if you haven't checked out the dictator take you as hat project. She's you just felt so strongly allie about this. We can give a little background of how this kind of evolved maybe for people. I guess we were at a comedy. You and comedy show and this comedian was talking about Dick Pics on and how boring they were and I was at a Bachelorette party earlier last year and I was talking about this. This Comedian and someone was like. Oh my gosh. There needs needs to be like a snapchat filter for pigs. We can put all kinds of different decorations on addict. We'll call it decorator so boom I came. I'm back and I told Julie Julie's like let's run with it. I was like let's make a fake Promo Video d'appel but if anybody's interests there's an alumina APP with us because my coworker is so convinced. We're going to be billionaires that APP if your business partner in that also hit us up me ask ask men will do we want to think ask.</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">00:05:03 - 00:10:03</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">Exciting is one of the best sex and dating podcast to up your game in twenty twenty I personally. It makes me so happy when we're obviously just because I know it just makes it feel real Dacia. We're on the same list as Esther Parral and Dan savage edged. That makes me feel good. Yeah do they know that they're on. The same list is off. That's our dream so hopefully this will have one of almost podcast. Maybe we do. Maybe worse hiding some secrets so this year like I said we want to bring you more. So it's more episodes more live shows because we have more sponsors thanks sponsors for keeping his alive and we have dateable swag the Kim prejudice and show off to all your friends. Yeah so we'll keep you updated data as that come out but we have a few ideas on the pipeline. That are going to be really good. and Julie's speaking of more we are so excited. Now be part of the FROLIC media podcast network network. Yeah so we had frolic media come to us and say hey like we're podcast network and we've also been a book network that really focuses. This is on the romance and dating relationship space so we talked to them just thought it was a really great fit for us and we're really excited to see what the share bring flip them and it is also is a great community for us to be part of yeah so excited to bring some the continuity half on their network to you all that you might find interesting and it. Also you know Speaking Validation Immune love us as much we love you. Can you please just leave us a review or tele friend about dateable because this this is how we can keep on bringing you the content that you love. Yeah that is I think the only real asked we have if you keep listening yourself. A women's situation trust us. There's no gimmick here so in all of this because we're ready for I own. It's so good. We we have a repeat guests. Yeah her her name is Dr Alexandra. Solomon if you remember. She was on a previous episode. Cub Marriage Wanna one. She teaches one of the most popular classes at northwestern. University waitlisted every Salva Julie's cousin knows yeah she actually. She wasn't in it but her friends were yet but she also knows she knows that superpac actually went to northwestern. Yeah yes and so this episode. We have her back because she has come out with a new book and she talks about how to own your sexuality whether you have a partner or not not. That's the key phrase. Yeah I think it's just like when Shit will when her publicist came to us again. First of all we just love episode Marriage WanNa one I think for both of us us. People are always like. Oh you guys are dating experts and we definitely know a lot about day. They relationships because we've talked to so many people but I personally don't believe anyone is like an expert. No now we're we're learning every day and I personally think for me marriage WANNA one was probably one of the ones. I learned the most come because like her the dollars that she she was like every relationship has conflict. I think I personally took yet to heart because I think we're always looking for the perfect relationship and something that's it's easy and all that and it shouldn't be so hard but also like you're you have to work at it too and the fact that her class is one of the most popular classes for undergrads. Yeah at northwestern speak so much about what is happening in our culture today right like eighteen nineteen twenty year olds are thinking about marriage origin how to have successful relationships. We keep shitting on younger generations. I decided to step back and say maybe the young people have figured out yet. They're learning I think when I cur publicists came to us again for this episode this whole notion of Saxon like we all know about sex. Obviously but like how would you describe Eh. You didn't like it so I think it's so hard it's like obviously love sex but I can't put into words a lot of stuff right or people. Oh feel like they have to love sex because it's supposed to give Geezer but I also know people who struggle with loving Saturday had many bad. Yeah Yeah I think it's like we touch on this in the episode but what people how people learn about sex sex sad which means you don't have sex like I was thinking of mean girls. It's like you will have not actually is like that. It's like it's just was bad about sex and then porn like yeah. I think I heard a stat. Actually that boys that are eight to twelve are using porn exclusively the learn about sex you I know it is because then it also skews with real. Yeah on the actual bedroom there was some other stat and I'm kind of butchering the stats. That there was something about like how most men mastery to porn and like a lot of men were have it masturbated without porn since they were like twelve and these were like forty men now in.</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">00:10:03 - 00:15:05</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">It's just completely distorts sexuality for you and your partner so now a good time to ask askew our listener. How did you first hear about sex or learn about sex? And the last time you masturbated what was the material that you masturbated to just this do questions to keep in mind as we play our first episode with Dr Alexandra Salomon I love repeat guests. Yes yes especially for a season opener. I don't repeat ex-boyfriends but I love Repeat Gazette Awesome. It's worth having a guest on for the second time we've got Dr Alexandra Solomon with us again. We talked about marriage WANNA one last time when she was on our show. And this time we're GONNA be talking about sex so she just released a new book called taking sexy back. A came out February second and and we are about to embark on this journey of how to talk about sex. I think in our culture we show sex. We fantasize about sex. But we don't actually talk about it and there's a lot of like shame in just from an early age things about sex that you've been taught and I think what I really loved about your book Alexandra. Sandra were obviously dive a lot. More in with you is just. How do we take what we've learned in really make it work for current day? Hi Alexandra how are you so good to be back with both of you. Thank you for joining us. She lives in Chicago originally from Detroit. She's in her mid forties and married aide. So I'm just going to quickly go over. Who she s in case you missed the first episode? We had with her. She's a professor in licensed. Clinical psychologist who has been specializing in sex love of intimate relationships. For over twenty years she just individual and couples therapy teaches a globally recognized undergraduate relationship course and northwestern university called Marriage WanNa on a one and that's exactly how we found her in the first place she's also an author of the book loving bravely and now taking sexy back which came out that second so again. We're here to talk about taking sexy back and how to own your sexuality and Creek the relationships you want so first off. What is besides Justin Timberlake? Thought of taking sexy back which I listened to that song like six times this morning and I was like what. What does that even mean the anthem? Dr Alexander isn't taking your sexy back. What does that mean to you so the idea here that we're what we're doing in this book is is that women are very highly sexualize? We are given a lot of messages as we're growing up about who we should be and how it should be and hand media highly sexualize women but being sexualize very different than being sexual. So book is about Really Supportive Journey from what I call an outside in experience with your sexuality would just sort of like who everyone has told you you should be or you need to the moving towards an inside out like cultivation of A. What the hell? What is my sexuality who is this like sexual south I you know I have? It's been part of. It's part of all of us. It's part of being human as to have this aspect of south But it's not one that we're really encouraged encouraged to define for ourselves or cultivate. Essence that is uniquely ours to understand and then to figure out how to share to own on your own sexuality is such an interesting concept to mean because I've always grown up with the idea that the media owns bisexual in the media dictate paid in what I shall find pleasurable would orgasm is and I never thought about going inwards. Yeah warring what my sexuality is so. was there anything living in particular for you. That inspired you to write this book right. I think it's true like that's a really interesting place for for a woman to start kind of like her exploration of like who am the sexual beating is a really interesting place who owned my sexuality thing sometimes it feels like it belongs to the church more to the family right sort of like you know your family's honour. oftentimes times is sort of seen as a a woman second down sexuality sort of belongs to the family system to be given away like there's all kinds of ways in which it belongs to. Everybody thought you. It's no coincidence. That women oftentimes feel really disconnected from this part of themselves. Because we really haven't had like a whole lot of science to understand and women's sexuality so a lot of the inspiration here was basically the fact that I year after year was having conversations with my students both my college students in my graduate students ends about sex and having woman after woman say to me like I don't really ever think about my pleasure I don't really ever consider like what do I want or need or people the saying coming up to me after lecture and being like I've not heard sex talk about in this way.</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">00:15:05 - 00:20:01</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">The only way I've ever heard sex talk about is like don't do it sinful. It's dangerous Ad It's dirty and this is a new paradigm trying to figure out. How can we talk about sex? That is neither like a taboo at one extreme. Or as you're saying like sort of titillating like sex as something that is selling products or like you know leading to downloads of more and more and more pornography like. It's sort of like extremes of taboo relation think porn gives men unrealistic expectations of like how to please and and women unrealistic expectations of what they should be doing to police. I think that's for sure risk. Yes I saw when I talk about pornography like with my students for example I will encourage people to have experiences of masturbating without pornography. I think there can be like a time and a space for using erotic materials. They can sort of be permission. Giving I think there's really beautiful people who are creating early feminist pornography. Where were you feel like you're accessing something that was created with Karen Integrity where performers were paid while we are story lines are really supportive of the kinds of things that research has shown tone women actually like you know so? It's not that we can like paint all foreign with a one rod rush but yes. I think that is for sure the rest. I've heard uh-huh and I'm sure you guys here are more than I do about just stories where people but imagine there for the first time and they're like trying to kind of recreate a porn scene that foreigners. Pretend it's it's fantasy and I think that I love how we have worn performance. Now who are saying you know. We're kind of becoming like public health. You know specialists in a way and saying like you guys describe this isn't what real life love making. Looks like to do in your own bedroom with. I'm doing onscreen. I am making fantasy storyline entertainment. Entertainment right yeah. What do you guys think about that? Do you think it is shaping how people are actually showing up in the bedroom. I think people show up in the bedroom anymore. I think people come to the bedroom and just expect A. We're going to have sex and that it's GonNa be great and we're going to enjoy it but I don't think people know how to deliver our pleasure and Hal even define what pleasure is for themselves. I have a friend who had her first sexual experience at in her late twenties recently and she said it was exactly how I did not expect sex to go. She said was so opposite of what she had seen porn which she had heard from France what she heard her neighbors doing late at night that she thought she was an anomaly. Yeah I didn't scream at the top of my lungs I didn't orgasm and also I didn't go down on him because I didn't know what I was supposed to do when I was down there so she had a lot of these experiences at a later or even that she had no idea how she was even supposed to show up for her partner. I think that's the problem though is like when you feel like you should be doing. I think it's goes beyond porn. Like I think it just media in general and just what you've learned through talking to friends and Lake hearing their stories and like you feel like you're different. That's when things get problematic and I think for me personally. I thought what was really interesting about your book because you actually put a lot of names to feelings and I think think a lot of times we can't really describe how we view our own sexual selves sling zags. But I can't really explain like what I'm doing how I'm feeling being like it's just a little bit of `Nigma away there's no vocabulary and faster and harder. Yeah about it exactly and like even some stuff in in your book. I thought was super interesting. Like you were talking about like how some people are just like wired to go at any time where other people need to be like more on the mood in sometimes that because a lot of like disconnects in relationships too when you and your partner are different but you don't know how to express it explain that in all right just we. I had this conversation I was a CS earlier this year and same sex tech was huge and why so huge because back in the day sex products were created by men then vibrators essentially created by men. That just gives you this vibrating. Feeling that consistent that is that you off somehow because because men do not understand how the clip works in fact women do not understand how the Clinton I just learn how it works and how. It's not just a knob that you just keep impressing. It's not one of those. It's a a wishbone shaped a around the KNOB that that is the clip. That's your entire clique. I did not. It was mind mind-blowing challenges a even seeing images like seeing that. I still don't really know how it works. But em- porn is just constant then pressure on that.</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">00:20:01 - 00:25:12</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">Nah and that's supposed to get you off. Honestly that doesn't get me off. It just makes me on a p the part with this. We've talked about it because I recommend to you the magic wand way do you know what the magic wand and I guess I do tap Tommy experienced like node vibrator of all times shoe congas. Okay so what am I. Friends recommended it to be and I was like I used it and I loved it in definitely got off and then I recommended to you a and she's like it did nothing to me. I'm just like a back scratcher. Oh no I actually I use it for a win. It's intended to do for my kids that I bring this up is because everyone's body is just different in like certain things react different ways to them in. I think sometimes like in porn or just again and media doesn't have to be just porn if you don't do something or you don't like something something. There's something wrong something wrong with you. Yeah and for all the people. I'm not to sing men 'cause some women don't know this either Google the magic wand this is Google has been godmother vibe radius. For this time it was like what every woman has and came. Seem to me as almost guarantee. You're going to get off if you get the magic wand and it's aptly named a magic wand it did nothing for me and it made me feel like there was something along with me also I was like. Am I supposed to stick Emmy Company. I John Orman so I think that's a good segue because 'cause I think beyond just that there's a lot of stories that we've been told like for example. Men Always WanNa have sex like anytime any day. They're ready to go. And I know like a lot of times. Sometimes we have our producer shaking his head right now. No but then also I know I've been with ex-boyfriends and such they're like I'm not in the mood in the new GATT insulted because you have the stereotype in your mind like how do we kind of detail ourselves from some of these stories absolutely. Well what you I mean. What we're talking about is first step is feeling like you have permission to expand the story like this idea like the magic wand got me off but not you off or the magic wand got me off on Tuesday today but not Thursday just trading that treating any of that as like a data point to be curious about rather than an entire ear narrative that now dictates the entirety of my sexuality you know and so with partner? It's like you're not in the mood but you're a man and you're supposed to be in the mood and if you're a man and you're not in the mood it must be either. You are broken or I am broke. Who's broken and that's where it goes versus hearing your partners not in the mood and being curious about it because of what's going on in what does that stir up in me like that's the self awareness part is what happens to me when you aren't in the mood and it becomes then it makes so much sense it becomes a story about my worth because I'm a woman which means Ivan tool that my value is in how I I look in a man's eyes how desirous I make a man and of I'm not quote Unquote Making with man desirous? Who Am I? What's my work with my values? So it's like that. Little little micro interaction of a male partner. Not In the mood like is an entire reflection of like the patriarchy in that moment. And that's what I just kept playing. I'm back again and again and the book is how much these really narrow stories about. Men are women are really limit us and that's and that's it for our LGBTQ Dt Q.. Plus friends and people in our world as well it's like these stories that just narrow down our sexual selves which are in in fact I- sexual selves are like really dynamic unfolding changelings. Whatever you think you have figured out to refigure it out you know in this new relationship up or now that you're in your thirties your forties era seventies? Whatever so it's like it's that's that's that it's everything's bigger than the stupid little thin narrow stories stories that our culture tells us and on the flip side of that as men feel shame and they're they're inapt when they are not in the mood mood and they can't have sex the drop time because it's like oh I'm a man I'm supposed to WANNA have sex every second every day? That makes me a less of a man and I don't yeah I mean I think in general. There was a definitely an overarching theme of the book of just shame in sacks like why do you think there's so MacShane in our culture when it comes to sex. Let's take a pause for mental health and our partner better health. Mental health is so important. Because it's what affects our daily lives especially when it comes dating now with Valentine's Day right around the corner it's a holiday that conjures up all sorts of emotions for people me included now with better help. It is much easier to find online counseling and find an outlet to discuss your journey and check in with yourself better helps counselors specialize in depression relationships trauma trauma and many other areas.</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">00:25:12 - 00:30:04</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">Everything stays confidential between you and your counselor with thousands of licensed therapist. You're sure to find one who was the best fit for you for dateable listeners. Only get ten percent off your first month with Discount Code dateable simply go to better help dot com slash dateable. Fill out a questionnaire to help assess is your needs and get match with a counselor again. That's better health dot com slash dateable and use the Code Dat AB L. E. for ten percent off your first mud mud now back to the show like why do you think there's so much. Shame in our culture when it comes to sex and it really is our culture because when we look At I mean lots of parts of the world have to but there are like I love looking at what's happening like in the Netherlands for example where sex education. You know it's part of every here and start talking to parents and teachers talking to kids about Adis and touch and it's just woven into the conversation and my favorite story is. There's a museum like sort of Science Museum where there's a whole area like the signs of sex and it's designed for you know older kids like young preteens and teens where you go in. And there's puppets and you can make the puppets French kiss. There's this huge jar looks like seaman here into it. There's different it's sort of like thank you know we don't have that in the US. We would never see a large jar of semen in a museum. But when you when we don't I mean and when you look at the data like the the teen pregnancy rate in the Netherlands is a little itty bitty fraction of what it is here in the US. The S. T. arrate in Netherlands is a fraction of what it is here so it just me shows that when we take very puritanical shame loaded attitude attitude about sex it just creates conditions for abuse. It creates the conditions for like. You know just all the nasty stuff we're trying to avoid happens and when we act like we can't talk about this when we get Pearl Clutch. E as my as my publicist says and that's basically what we talked about on on the last episode but we had you on Where sex education has always been about sex prevention meaningless? It so taboo. To have unprotected sex your the guest he is. You're going to get pregnant but sex education should be about also how to have sex and why we have sex why it should be pleasurable and remember this right to hold about my virgin friend. WHO said I need to just figure out my own vagina right now because nobody ever taught me how to figure it out so before right actually give out my virginity trying to figure out my own shit and it's it's just fantastic to hear this because there are cultures who are are very progressive in the way they see sex and we are seeing the results of that and the benefits so hopefully we can follow Su yen? I think that is why there's so much shame because we're taught right like don't have sex and no one wants ask questions to their parents. They don't WANNA ask questions to their teachers so therefore like they just feel like there's nowhere to go except for the Internet Julie. Do you remember how you found out about sex well. I don't actually remember asking my parents like how I was brought here. They said the stork brought me abroad. Even kidding so they clearly avoided the time clearly so when did you find out about lean. It's tough I don't really remember what mark did but I think I mean sex at. I do remember that pretty vividly and not I just remembered as really bad videos. We had to watch. Yeah in Gaza. The men and the women were separated which is also problematic and I wonder how schools are doing it this day and age. Because there's just a lot less about gender and gender identity entity is much more fluid but I also like why did we have to sit in separate rooms because I think it actually would have been useful to know how the male anatomy work a bit more it would. It would just Greece so much. Compassion like opportunities for a compassion. About you know these poor guys who get Boehner's in the math class don't forget to understand the nature of period like what they are. They're not here are not foreign but when we create what we do like we almost create like contempt across the gender align right about his bodies. We don't understand do things you can't even relate to and it would just create so much more inclusivity for all of everybody who doesn't fit neatly into that the fact that five percent of JT teens have positive representations and health education see LGBT sexuality with positive representations nations in their sex ED is criminally. That is problematic. Yeah I mean I don't remember the first time like out like I do remember though people Like we were just saying like boys getting Boehner's and women like getting cheered going.</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">00:30:05 - 00:35:03</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">I remember like poor girl like got her period on her chair and was like the most more man thing and no one could really explain it of one just laughed and in both cases in terms of sacks. I know for me. I don't I think it was just through like friendly. Hundley camp talking to other people but wait for me. I was definitely like a more of a leap wounded. Really have a ton of sexual experiences in high school because it just wasn't something that I talked about ever with. My family was like very much a topic. That was off limits. What about you I feel like I was probably in fourth or fifth grade and we were on the playground and this was before I found about found out about a regular sex I was taught? What a sixty nine and was Andrew Mansur for me on the playground and said this is what sexes and bats? My first exposure to sack acts. I was like a very precarious position. Okay interesting and then we went into sex ED. I was actually questioning the teacher. Are you sure this is that should have been an early sign that you were going to do this. podcast should be facing the other way at this point they let me show you book. It goes everything about sex in fourth grade. They also English is my second language. How you ask? I didn't even know vocabulary to explain what is being but I just kept raising my hand asking is this is right so I really good segue too because I think even twenty twenty we actually did a live show a couple like obe job in December and I remember one of the last questions we got from a woman was. Is it okay to sleep with a man on the first date or like the first time. Were you so surprised. The price was really surprised. And I did want to like bring it up to you to because I think it's at were talking about like. Why is there still all that stigma in twenty twenty Right right I mean the way that the way we talk about in the book a little bit is that it's It's like this new. It's a a new kind of sexual revolution right. So there is like permission now to have sacked but what I really. The question like is really not one that I want her. To ask anybody else it really would would be. And what were the conditions be. That would help me know that I actually really. I'm excited to put a bed with the person regardless of it's the it's the first day or the fifth date of the twentieth mutate like. That's the question right. She's asking it as an outside in question league's new. Please give me permission bursts more interesting conversation. That's about how. How do I know when I'm really enthusiastic to share to create an experience with somebody else in this way? That's that's the really important interesting question. And and that's revolutionary by revolutionary to be like. What do I want how do I know? And how do I ask because really what I want women to be able to inquire about is how do I know this can be a partner. WHO's really ready to meet me in the space of deep the CO creation and play? And you know taking our time. I'm and following sensation because that's what when the Gal who's trying to figure out her vagina which is trying to figure out is how to follow a sensation right to notice the sensation inside of my body which WanNa pay attention to how to grow them how to invite my partner to help me grow them. And that's that's a very different way of doing it. Then like checking behaviors off less than we did this. We sixty nine that matters less than being able to be like. I really want to have situation where we're each kind of just is playing with what feels good and how to grow that you know yes I think that's like exactly I mean that is kind of what we said in there some clever that's valid validated. But it was around like what is going to work for you like what is going to make you feel good about yourself and your sexuality and I think there is so much of this emphasis of like date one date three and like all that really is arbitrary and I love this idea of like what is comfortable for me. Not what do I think this person is going to think of me because of this well I want to add one thing. which is you know this whole thing about like which date it's on kind of also means we're focusing on that aren't talking about the fact that sometimes first sexual experience variance within with a new partner sock not because they're a quote unquote bad lover? But because we have to like kind of feel our way into each other right we have to. We have to establish rush like a rhythm and a flow and a chemistry dynamic. So I think sometimes that's a that's a challenge in the dating world is that they rule out potential partner because the first sachs ax is lousy on a spectrum right so we shouldn't really lousy sacks. Sometimes it made us be that everyone's feeling a little awkward and you know it takes a while to establish like this base the trust that helps us take risks yet.</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">00:35:03 - 00:40:00</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">I think it's it goes into this idea of sex is not just a one time act. It's it's the opening for communication. It's almost like when you first say hello to someone on the phone and then you continue that conversation you let that conversation evolve and I. I think what we talked about in. This discussion was really alarming. To me about this question was we were not owning our own narratives. I think by her asking this question Why is it okay to sleep with someone on first state? Her narrative was already if I sleep with someone on the state. They won't take seriously. So how do we get that back and say I'm going to change the narrative because I'm going to change the way people have told me about sleeping with someone too fast because that's not what I'm trying to own here. branly is like like a power dynamics. I think that's really the root of what you're saying too is like the way it's being viewed is. I'm giving away something to sharing a mutual ritual beneficial experience. That's going to bring me closer to a partner and make me connect with someone right and the reality is that a man wouldn't ask that question in the same way at around. What is she gonNA think of me if I sleep with her? On the first date. And that means that it means that a man is uncut off from his his his storyline. The storyline he's been told is like you just have to figure out how far you can get right. And that's the idea that you're the pursuer and she's the gatekeeper. So you just kind of go go until you're told not to. It's a ridiculous message to give man cuts them off from being able to ask a question of themselves. Like what do I really want and need a sexual experience and I had a good friend. Friend of mine was talking about like when he was in the sort of hookup world. He was really struggling with like a reptile function. Like he did not. It was really hard for him to get and maintain an erection in in these kind of random hookups and he felt a lot of shame about that and he said I had this moment where I realized that my penis and my heart are connected. Aw what the Hell is wrong with our culture like to be twenty seven year old man. WHO's you know before you realize that your peanuts in your heart are connected like we aren't giving voice voice the message that they deserve to really go slowly and take their time and figure out what they want and need and what makes them feel good because we're bombarded them with they get bombarded with this message that their value as a man is about how far they can get with a woman? It's just it's just disgusting awful you know I- over a in years eve. I sat with a group man. We just ended up hanging out and talking about sex and came up as the only girl in group and the question was what do you think when a girl sleep with you on the first date and all the guys across the board said I would like it. I would assume she did this with all the other men. I would think that she was easy and I think that she didn't take us seriously. So we went in a little bit deeper and we carried on the conversation. A little bit longer are saying 'cause I asked him. What is you sleeping with a girl? I'm for state saying about you. And at the end the result of this conversation was many of them actually felt that if a girl sleeps with me on the first date it would mean I would have to perform at a level that would compete with all the other men men. She's been well so became more about them than her interest learn. I don't want to be the loser in the situation so I rather remove myself solve interesting. That facet they all the fact that they put that into voice in a space with each other and with you is huge huge. Because you're right. It's so easy to deflect it onto her and what's wrong with her and you in by them to peel back a layer and look at what is it like for you to enter that space with somebody right off the bat and what you found is there's a shit ton of vulnerability there. Yeah and and for men and and we need to move the world where men can talk about that with each other than that like that just is so detoxifying. The gives me chills. What a beautiful? What a beautiful opportunity? They had to be safe out loud that they had not said before or put together. That's huge yeah. And so I ended up sending them invoice for two hundred fifty dollars. I was like your lockup but I wasn't expecting the camera this good stuff this is what. How can we change the conversation? What are some tools we can use now that we can start today? Well one thing I think about a lot is just like parents parents with kids right because at some point we have to just break the cycle in because parents do to their kids. What was done to them around talking about sex and the very like binary a do? This don't do those kinds of terms. That's a huge thing I think is just like you know breaking the big chain around like the generation to generation. But what can we do.</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">00:40:00 - 00:45:01</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">I think a really important thing for women to do is women haven't explored masturbation that don't feel comfortable optimal their bodies like like that whole work on my entire relationship to pleasure do I have. I give myself permission to have pleasure I I. What kind of touch do I like? How do I explore like relate to sort of like physical delight and touch and that oftentimes has to be she has oftentimes especially if she's straight she has to do some of that work just in a room by herself because as soon as she is in a space of the male partner all of the stuff about you know whatever performance even even if he is a partner who has deeply invested in her feeling good? There was a weird way that that can end up feeling like pressure right because now she needs to feel good in order to make him feel good the made her feel. God ends up being double loop so I think a lot of this work has to be just a woman in a room by herself with a candle from soft music resonate with herself. So we've talked a lot about like the shame end of all of this but what what about just like now that you understand your sexual self in your partner and you have totally different sexual Needs and desires like for example. Let's say like one per one person is really indicate in the others more vanilla like is that relationship doomed. Can they work together right. I mean I think he'll probably depend on like how far far on the extremes they each are. I think there is a way that when we when we commit to especially when we committing to something. That's sexually monogamous. If this is not a sexually monogamous situation and then maybe they agree that there are limits to my curiosity and willingness around king and so those are the parts of your south that you take elsewhere but for a couple it really wants to be sexually monogamous. There's this like both and of the vanilla partner. Findings would have their growing edges and how they can expand in ways that feel good to them and feel like they're in the service of their relationship and then they're on the on the king partner side there probably is a you know a bit of grief. I think whenever we whenever we choose whatever we choose in our life inevitably involves a letting go or a grieving so the partner who you know who enjoys kink think but really wants to be with this person. WHO's a bit more vanilla? I think there probably is some grieving and letting go of the life. They aren't too because they didn't choose somebody WHO's as deeply indicate as as they are and I think that's there's an inevitable inevitability around grief and letting go it's different than resentment you know this surrender versus the resentment about it. Like I can't have this part will focus on what we can't have than. We're not going to be cultivating what we actually can have. And the more. We're willing to cultivate like what we can have at our partners available for than that may lead to more expansion and it will help us sort of feel grateful rather than deprived. What about like wooden one partner is like always in the mood in the other feels like they're like initiating Returned yes that is one of the most common sexual. The problems is that desire difference makes total sense because the chances that two people are going to be in the mood at the same amount at the same time the same frequency as like impossible. It's impossible aw so I think there's an inevitability sexually monogamous relationship long-term one it's inevitable that couples are gonna hit that bump in the road around desire difference. What happens happens is that it becomes a huge problem because we get locked into you blame and shame so the higher desire partner either feels ashamed of their the desire or they feel blaming the other person never wanted and why do I always have to be the one? So there's like that sort of blame and shame possible on the higher desire partner side of the street and then a lower desire partner side of the street. They also feel shame. What's wrong with me? Why don't I want it more? Where they can feel blamed like this is ridiculous? Your so demanding. It's like one more thing on my to do you list and so when we get into that like narrative of like it's either my fault or your fault than the problem itself. Actually rose like the distance between them ends up growing versus looking at it like what you know standing shoulder to shoulder like what are we as a couple going to do like looking together. The problem is we'd like different frequencies like what are we as a couple. How are we going to relate to this challenge of desire different? That's an entirely different position analogy that it opens up new possibilities for how you navigate that we can't even get to that place of a collaborative approach like What are we gonna how? How are we going to navigate this because what I want and what you are not the same thing? We can't even get there if we're stock as as often as the case with sacs if we're stuck in shame or were stuck in judgment judgment I have a very specific question about this logistically. Win is the best time to talk about sex with your partner in a way. That's trying to improve improve your sex life.</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">00:45:01 - 00:50:00</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">Let's take a break now for a wonderful partner generation Tux. All you guys out there. Have you ever found yourself needing a Tux but didn't want to spend the time and effort. Finding the right fit. Listen we've talked enough rooms to know there's so much to do right before a wedding and your Tux is the last thing you want to worry about now with generation Tux. You No no longer have to think too much about your Tux. For the big day you simply create your look alike including your grooms party and everything arrived at your doorstep fourteen days before the big day you the even earn a free suit or Tuxedo rental with five paid members or better yet keeping your suit or talks when seven members checkout generation. tux offers a free home. Try on program for groups and after the big event you throw everything back in the box and use the prepaid legal to drop off. UPS Free Shipping Free Swatches and free. Home try out and now you can save time and money with generation talks checkout generation tux dot com slash dateable and use the Promo Code dateable for ten percent off your entire grooms party again. That's generation dot com slash dateable and check out what the Code D. A.. T. E. A. B. L. E.. Now back to this episode win is is the best time to talk about sex with your partner in a way. That's trying to improve your sex life. Because I found post Cueto. It does not work a Israel words. You're tired maybe your mind is in a haze and then once that that desire passes you wanting to have this conversation is not as much and then right before. You're not going to have this conversation right when you're about to take close up. So when is the right time I. That's a great question. Yeah I know I spent some time in the book talking about talking about sex. You know because that because that very thing I think couples to figure out what works for them. Sometimes we come up with all these excuses about one. It's not the right time because we're anxious you know like yeah so if that's what's happening the thing to really address the anxiety and so what can we do to have this. This conversation in a bit of a less intense waiver like versus like we're like staring at each other and so it may be it's done via email My friend astaire parral has this suggestion uses with couples where couples is open a separate email account that is just for conversations. Dixie you know pragmatics and so then it's like it's basically like love letters back and forth and that way each person can really like saver with the person with that their partner is saying and may have some time to like feel a bit less defensive sometimes in conversation we can get really defensive really quickly and here are partners as more critical than they actually are so letter writing or email exchanging can slow things down so I like that intervention a lot. We had a couple that that came on our show did sex journaling. So it's kind of a similar concept it's like let me express how I'm feeling. Let's share it in like an open space together. Lavina and Caleb Yes I know I love. I love their. I'm looking at it right now. It's right here my office. I love their sex journal and it is is on great similarly a neutral space that we both can go to I. This is one of the big big reasons. I'm not a formally trained in sex therapist but I am a couple therapists. Who realizes how much I need to be making space in my therapy office to support conversations about sex and there's been this weird split within the world of relationship therapy where there are sex therapist over there and they have their own conferences and do their own thing on the couple therapists are over here? We have our own conferences and we are on thing and there's kind of the split so it is. It is very likely that a couple will come into a couple's therapist office in the couple's therapist isn't we asked them directly about sacks and so then it's like even in a couple of therapies office. It feels like this topic is taboo and so I was really motivated led to just kind of like invite a bit more curiosity in collaboration. From the couple's therapist part of the world to just be proactive about making space their therapy offices to talk about sex. Even if they aren't formally trained a sex therapist there are still lots of conversations can be had if there are you know significant sexual problems and certainly they need to be referred out but there's a lot the couple's therapist can actually do to shell and model that. This is something that can be talked about so another thing for couples to do is talk about it in therapy and I think part of the problem couples therapy is people are like. Oh my God. Something's wrong with us. If we're in couples therapy but in fact it just shows that your relationship mean and so much to you that you are investing time each week to have important conversations in the supported way so I like that idea too so fascinating readings. I think it's so interesting that they're so decoupled in a comes down to again how sex is viewed as shameful. 'em Like how you it's not always something you WanNa. I WANNA talk about.</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">00:50:00 - 00:55:23</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">Look I even know I had a friend recently. Not that I am a sex therapist or Turkish. You're not a friend like assery about or just like come to to be around advice with relationship. She was in in. It took me probably like halfway through our conversation to even bring up like how. How is your sex life? And I don't know why that one like in the media questions. I think a lot of times. Sex is a barometer of the whole relationship but it took me. I just couldn't couldn't bring myself to ask it for whatever reason because we have sachs as being behind closed doors. Whatever you do behind closed doors is none of my business but is it productive to have the culture where we openly talk about sex even when we meet up for Brunch is like hey generally house Friday night? How's your sex life like it's been trying to get to yet? That's a great question like what is the culture. What's good for look like right? I know it's funny because in some ways we're talking about sex muchly part of what it is to live in. The era of me too is that we are really looking at all of the incredibly. The problem matic dangerous power driven horrible things that happen around sex and so I wonder about in some about balancing it out with a willingness to talk about about actually people's just what's really delightful. People sex lives like I love that idea opening up right. Maybe not just like you know a ton space for like nitty gritty details about about how you perform oral sex on your partner but just to kind of like name. Mata's part of life is actually going well or part of life that is you know fun. Like there's there's something about like how much this the METOO era is. Vitally vitally important right. It is like so time to unpack and like pull back the curtain on all of us that has happened. And I think there's like there's more than just healing we have to heal trauma uh-huh but part of how we heal trauma is by saying that. Actually we deserve pleasure and we deserve to live as sex is an integrated part of who we are part of why I like the idea of like a bit more brunch conversation because then it's like a reminder like Oh yeah sex is more than just incredibly fraught problematic Rom Raum. Yes that's interesting 'cause metoo it's definitely a chance to go there now. I feel like when we first came out it was about like sex abusers or senses the victim and it was kind of actually playing into the shame model even more in a way and I think it will be interesting to see if now post be too we. We can get to a place where it's just openly discussed as pleasurable. Just saying right now. What about this mentality of constant instant comparisons math gas on the show? Who would say I haven't had the number of partners? Yes as that I should be having at sage or couples who say This our neighbors. They say they have sex five days a week and we only have sex one day a month. Are we doing something wrong. How do we get around this whole keeping up the Joneses? It is so funny when you even look at the history of sex research in our field when researchers ask about sex what they oftentimes will say like how often you have sex. And so it's like there's ways that like the field of sex research has reinforced this idea. That quantity equals qu'ils quality or the quantity is the main thing and I think that's when ever like it's just numbers are really easy place for us to put our obsessive excessiveness numbers scale or numbers of you know episode downloads or book sold or whatever like we can just numbers. I do end up hooking us in a bit INS. I think the most important thing is noticing. How right there's a number I have had ex partners? They have of sex x number of times a week. Like noticing how we will take that number and attach an entire story that has to be with worth and value to that number UH versus just dropping the story and having an just noticing it as a piece of data and figuring out. What's more interesting question to ask so so with the you know the neighbor down the street or having sex five times a week a more interesting question is what are you seeking in? Sac- What do you find they are. What does the New Year relationship? And then those same questions for oneself. Why what what am I looking for when I want sex with my partner? What am I craving? What am I seeking to express those so much more interesting questions than how many times now? It's x five times a week and it does nothing. V relationship. Shy performing duty the weakness that one time a week in Italy. Restorative you know and connects you and and you get bask in that glow for the rest of the week calling me over quantity Quanta exactly so I guess too before we go into takeaways like what are a couple of words of wisdom that you would give to anyone who's better China understand their sexual self off in like kind of create this sex life in always wanted Words of wisdom would be I guess the most important the thing is to just with an any couple.</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">00:55:23 - 01:00:01</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">There are three sexualities. There's my sexuality your sexuality and there's our sexuality Being able to remember that because because of the risk of saying like somehow I'm broken or something's wrong with me like the whole is on that Direction or to go in the direction of like. Something's wrong with my partner. My partner isn't a partner as too much in so always come back. League noticed when we start to do that and then come back to that idea of like. There's my sexuality there's your sexuality and then there's our sexuality just remembering always to like thicken up the story because when it gets when the story becomes too thin that's when the silence Edson because if I get convinced something's wrong with me and they're sure shit no way okay. I'm going to bring up a problem having or a concern. I have because I'm just either going to be really scared that you're also GonNa start blaming me or I can't can't even imagine bringing it up because I'm ashamed of myself and you know that's what shame does is it silences us. It makes us think that we're the only one that feels the same. I love that I love like I mean we've talked about this relationships before it's not me versus you. It's off right so it's similar but it's just putting Sachs which is something that's even harder sometimes talk about a young boy. So what are some of your takeaways go into takeaway line. Yeah we'll start with you. I was just thinking about how if you think about it. SEX WCHS as a form of self care. Anna's colleague doing your monthly massage appointment. Why wouldn't you do your daily massage appointment end with your private parts right because access to do that? So it's Kinda like booking a a massage for one or massage for two or however many but it we see it as a way of self care then were able to go into it with more empathy. Nevada I'm just trying to find pleasure to restore myself to find balance and I want to also create that for whoever's involved in this experience as well so let's find pleasure together and I love this. Idea of quantity is never a way to measure. Are you getting pleasure. Sure yeah so I think a concentration of how do I feel after this and my feeling good about myself and my m my caring for myself and my caring for my heart ner that's a better measure of whether you're you're getting that pleasure that you've been seeking so I really love. I'm I'm just GONNA book this daily Massage appointment want. That's for massage outer part. Thus far my book daily massage employment and sometimes someone could join sometimes they may not want to piggyback on one. One thing about that. I think it's so when when I think about especially women in the dating world I saw you guys know Mama Gena is just I love. I think it was a newsletter thing. She wrote about how she'd Masturbate Asher Bates before she goes on a first date because she wants to feel really grounded really nourished really full within herself when she shows up on a first date rather than feeling like she needs. She needs this person to scratch this issue inside of her or she is yearning for something the somebody else has to give to her for her. It like anchors her back within herself that then right she has her own source of pleasure and then she may invite somebody else into that space with her but she comes into it then from a place of wholeness instead of lack and I love that what you're literally goes along with what you're saying. I love that too because I feel like we've been taught sexuality is to people and it if you don't have a partner sometimes really I can't continue to explore for my sexuality and you feel deprived rate in. That's when you like end up having like the friends with benefits are like someone hooking up with just someone that you're not really into an attracted to in it's more of this place of desperation which is what we're talking about and I love this like takeaway of kind of it's evolving your sexuality quality is evolving. And it's not something that you learned in sex ED. It's not something that you had. As your first experiencing college that might not have gone so alike it continues to go and you continue to see what works for you. What works for your partner learn and evolve just like a continuous cycle? It's not a one time time. This is what I know this.</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">01:00:01 - 01:05:04</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">What ends and stay curious in that? Yeah holiday curiosity do they feel this way. Why do I like this and keep on exploring exploring because I realized that the human body there is so much more we haven't uncover right and I think sometimes too that goes into like sex? Acts like that arched. It's kind of the standard. Like if someone does bring something up to you. That might be different than you've ever experienced. Then it's that staying open mend. Maybe if I mean I mean obviously don't try something that's so against your morals and not something that you WanNa do but if it's something that you're just like I don't know if I'd like maybe there is a benefit of trying. Get seeing how you feel Zine what it does to your sexy and if it's good keep going and if it's not then you know part of what happens in a couple system as it feels so much like the only way I can experience. My sexuality is through sex with you and so then does make designed sex is a duty. Because because you're only going to meet that need if I show up in now now it adds a bit of Wrath in space. If I don't feel solely responsible for creating the conditions for you to experience your sexuality Audie so couples where they were there is just some space for that as well can take this. Heavy responsibility of like my partner wants sax on the only person who has sex with I have to show up it has to be me than does creates the conditions for duty and that duty definitely is pretty antithetical to desire. That's so interesting so I feel like that's worth things going like. singular pleasure riper than also like Pollyanna marine other configurations. Because I'm thinking of like I don't know why this one sticks out but sex in the city when like Charlotte and trae weren't having sacks g caught him masturbating and it was like the ultimate betrayal right and I think there's something about masturbating masturbating in historically. That's made you feel like you're not up to speed and if they're masturbating than you're doing something wrong but I think what I'm getting from this conversation sation. It's not a comparison. It's like apples to oranges like just because you're masturbating doesn't mean that you don't have sex life that you love is just complementary it. Does it need to be an end or so next time someone asks you. How's your sex life you can say? Oh I'm really good in bed with myself because I think looking historically stoically you would think like I'm only going to say if I have a partner right if I don't a partner my sex life is bad which is not true. Could be having sex. Life could be in a band sex life. I don't know if you heard about this Alexandra. But in San Francisco a couple months ago the police broke up an epoch. Sex Party the presidio with over one hundred people. They found fifty gallons of semen and donkeys llamas and emus running around and arrested like eighty ready. My Gosh Wow really exploring their sexuality for them. Some of his. We'll legal another. Take away from this. Conversation is like don't take everything so personally like I love this whole thing that we were talking about earlier like you're you have Saxon. Your partner doesn't in historically be like other something wrong with me not attracted to me but it really has nothing to do with you. It's about them in their sexuality in then like I loved what you said about. How do you just make it my sexuality your sexuality and our sexual rally? Yes and own at that way Alexandra. Any other last words of wisdom. I mean we've we've talked a lot about about shame and the story we attach and so then like the antidote is self compassion right like just being really self compassionate unsafe for women but I think it's for men as well because it's just I think maybe worries are different but I think we're all really hard on our bodies as you know is very critical of my breasts are to this. My Penis is to this. My hip search. They very critical of how our bodies look and southbound around and you know all of this narrative that operates in the background that is. I'm not enough or I'm wrong. That compromises pleasure so the woman who wrote the forward to taking sexy back is researcher in Canada named Dr Lori Bronco and her recent book is called sex. Mindfulness and she basically took the finding that has stood up in a variety of studies. That about half of women struggle with low sexual desire. So it's like kind of You know in terms of like normal being defined as incredibly common. It's become sort of normal for women to struggle with low sexual desire especially women who are in long term partnered relationships and she was like all right. This is not okay. What's going on here? And what she found. Was that when you teach women. Mindfulness skills like basically dropping the self critical story about my thighs and just returning to the moment.</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">01:05:04 - 01:09:49</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1">It changes their sex lives like massively and and women unexperienced more desire more arouse more lubrication more orgasm an more connection with their partners. But I think sometimes we don't even know how not mindful we are because we're just so used to being self critical than it just feels like we don't even know. That tape is playing inside of our heads. When we're making love it just feels like this is how I always am? Grew up as a woman so of course I'm beating the crap out of my body like it's just what I do all the time but I want women to really know that that a space nice to meet ourselves with jeep deep deep compassion that Like criticism blocks our ability to even feel good right to feel pleasure to feel L. deserving in so noticing how the stories are coming up is a first step towards like no. I'm not going there and I'm GonNa Return just dropped the story and return my attention to this moment almond love that I love that because it's so dead on for so many of us I think most women and men everyone can relate to having those critical moments in their own mind. They're really getting away from having the sex life that they deserve in addition to showing up for your partner show up for or yourself too. Yeah I love that I mean. I think this conversation's been so great. So thanks again for having. I think what's interesting to me too is. It's applicable all for people that are single applicable for people that have been in relationships for years. Everyone kind of deals with these ongoing evolution of sexuality. It's not just oh you're in a relationship. Your sex life is great. Oh you're single your sex life is bad like it's just it's not black and white. I mean one of the things that was so amazing about writing the book was I had this amazing team of graduate students and undergraduate students and we were really diverse. Like very different ages very different relationship state has different cultural backgrounds and cultural trainings. Things all away from you know very liberal. People to people who had been raised in strict Catholic family was really fascinating team and so the conversations we would have was amazing. How often Louis Comeback? I'm back to these same themes that transcended age relationship. Staden culture was really enlightening. Hope anybody who picks it up fines some source source of comfort relief support and courage. You know in that. And that's exactly why everyone should pick up uh-huh. I'm suing on Amazon. You can get it. Where else can you get the book? Yeah I mean wherever books are sold your India Bookstore Barnes and Noble Amazon on definitely. It is Paperback and kindle in it will pretty soon be available as an audio book as well. Nice Will Lincoln in our show. No just of course I anyone interested and Dr Alexandra Solomon we need to come to one of your classes. We've been saying this world wile e will show up and one of these certain taking notes rigorously our love to have you. They're gonNA happen. We they are soulmates. Love nerds all of us are love burt. Thank you so much for coming back on our show. We didn't scare you the first first time. Let's get to know you for bringing this very basic Justin timberlake song to a whole new level. That's much deeper her and meaningful for all of us and it's better for the next generation that next time you hear this song. They're like yes taking that that's right watch out world from being on our show and We are GONNA show up one of these days. We are literally physically showing the class. All right we're going to wrap this up a Jada Ball but dateable podcast is part of the FROLIC podcast network. Find more podcasts. You'll love at frolic dot media slash podcast. Want to continue the conversation. I follow us on Instagram facebook and twitter with the handle at dateable. PODCAST TAG US in any post with a Hashtag stay dateable and trust us. We look at all those then head over to our website. dateable PODCAST DOT COM there. You'll find all the episodes as well. As articles videos and our coaching service with vetted industry experts you can also find our premium y series where we dissect sect analyzed and offer solutions to some of the most common dating conundrums rose downloadable. For free on spotify apple podcast Google play overcast stitcher stitcher radio and other podcasts platforms. Your feedback is valuable to us. So don't forget to leave us a review and most importantly remember to stay dateable.</div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div><div bis_skin_checked="1"><br></div> Hey everyone welcome to another episode of dateable a show all about modern dating so last year Julian I had a chance to visit New York and as part of our trip which was pretty epic. Yes super epic. We did a so much like three days if we're there for a week and it was what it was three days to have days but we got a chance to meet up with a friend of mine that I hadn't senior years. Tommy Danger Kim. Who has his own. Podcast called the Tommy Danger Experiment. And that's his actual middle name. Love it like I didn't realize that when we recorded and then when he told me that after like you guys will hear the episode but it was amazing but I think knowing his actual middle name is danger. Just bring into a home their level but after you met him you probably thought how fitting right absolutely. I think it's like you. I was just like hey my friend wants out the podcast and I think because we were in New York. We're like let's take advantage of as many opportunities we can. We met with a bunch of people podcast companies and we wanted to be on. Someone's podcast in New York. Yeah so we jumped at the opportunity and I had no idea. I think we're a little hug over. We shut up a little orange alert extremely hung over and where we recorded at his co working space was super sunny and I remember one versa. We got coffee because we were like pretty because we rage like we were hammers. Were out again. It was three days but felt like everything was jammed. Pack the live show. That's why we went at the wing so then we went out for drinks with everyone. They're in an I remember the next night we were like okay. Let's go to bed. Not let's go out because we're in New York. Yeah but let's not stay out super late and we didn't really work out three. I don't remember I remember really met up with your president ended up like a raging gay club member. Yeah and that's when I totally lost all sense of time and your friend I've ever remember. He picked me up on the streets. We are skipping handed. Had best by the I like totally took you as friends into underwriting Robin trait the most beautiful men in my life. They were amazing. But I have to say we were not prepared to be on Thomas. Show but we were like okay. Let's show up. Get some caffeine in us. We're GONNA be good but we ended up staying for two hours. We recorded a two hour episode with time for his for his podcast. In after we were done we both were like that was one of the best conversations. His like whole mindset with the podcast is no editing. Free-form compensation let it go however long it goes. It's actually kind of amazing just the fact that we were able to talk for two hours. I think we all Consciously I to get on a train till the suburbs of New York and you meet a friend really. We have to stop talking. We would have been there for another four. Yes possibly talking about everything and in the beginning we like. Everybody always asks about sex parties because it seems to be volatile. No people ask Julie. Pretty sure he did it ask. That's intriguing into every conversation is sex parties because it's a great icebreaker. It's also like Hey Tommy on the scene you in ten years. Let's talk about sex parties and he was down for you know talking about. He's very intrigued. By the end of the two hours we got really deep made a breakthrough. We we laugh about it now but it was such a powerful moment because I talked to Tommy in so long. I had no idea that he was. I mean divorce for a few years. But if felt like a fresh wound and the break-up was very traumatizing for him. Yeah I remember when we over. You're like I'm not really sure. What his status. These days I think the last time I saw on facebook he might have just been recently divorced. You were just unsure of Weirdos was at all in his life and it's kind of like we brought this up in episode two. It's like this is the power of going deeper because if we had laughed after say an hour we would have had a great congress parties. Yeah it would have been very fun and surface level but by the end it felt like we were like we knew each other like we knew him. Yeah Oh yes. We knew him on a whole new level and I have a whole new level of appreciation for him to even though we are we. Don't keep in touch all the time even usually you man for the first time that day but you felt like you had this connection that is exactly what we strive for at least eight. Yeah now we're homeys. Now we get it. He's got you got you homemade. We get that all the time for him which is amazing. We all change our middle name danger. So here's just a snippet of the episode because again it's two full hours. If you want to hear it you can go on his podcast. Itami danger experiment podcast. So just a little background. Who Tommy is yet? He's in his late thirties. He's been in New York for ten years originally from L. A. Yeah so he did the West Coast to east coast thing. He is currently single and he's very shit out yet. He of healing from that divorce. But I think I think we had a breakthrough with him. I think everybody wants to hear about this break there. And they're going to introduce you to Tommy Danger Siquijor personal and
"two month" Discussed on The big d zone
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"two month" Discussed on KFI AM 640
"So that gives you a two month window to kick the tires the earlier in that cycle, the better generally, you're gonna find some sales especially on Tuesday Wednesday, if you wanna fly or at least half your trip on those days. So that's a perfect time to stop serving. So that puts us all the way into June and almost early July in this particular case. So you definitely should be kicking the tires, and if you're going to anything anyplace super-popular, you're going coast to coast you're going to Orlando you're going to some summer destinations in the mountains. For example, you're going to see those prices start to rise a little bit faster than the rather than other locations around the US thing that I've noticed off li-, you know, maybe two weekends a month. I guess a roughly on average and just over the last month or so I've noticed that. Usually my Friday flights out of Burbank. That was always packed. It seems. Like one that everybody's going to get on. It's like, you know, the noon flight, so everybody's on that one. But the one coming back from Oakland to Burbank, though, when I usually have the middle seat opening not anymore. Yeah. No. This is your we're moving right into the busiest time of year. This is the the summertime is airlines. You know, other than Christmas time for the last couple of weeks in December and first week in January. This is the time where airlines make the bulk of their profits. So a lot of demand for summer travel and as kids get out of school late may early June. That's when ticket prices tend to go up. So if you wanna fly over the next two or three or four weeks perfect time to fly to get in a trip because prices are gonna go up fairly dramatically almost exactly coinciding when kids get out of school. It always happens that way, thanks so much. I appreciate it. Those are great tips. I see later that is the founder and CEO affair compared dot com. So bottom line if you're going to travel this summer make those planes now because every day, you wait that's gonna cost you a little bit more money. It's gave Fine Gael HD two, Los Angeles. Let's get.
"two month" Discussed on MSNBC Rachel Maddow (audio)
"Criterion. And qualifications from serving are you when the justices ultimately do here, the merits of this merits of this case, are you pessimistic about how they're going to rule. I mean, this is a five four conservative ruling today. That's true. But it doesn't it did not speak to the merits at all. And it really only put in place even temporarily the permission for the government to put the ban into place. I will say that. I'm. Optimistic because I don't think that there's any basis for the government to demonstrate that they're that that there's a reason why transgender people who meet military criterion can't serve and we're actually optimistic because in rejecting hearing the case now, it allows us to go back down to the district court and put on the evidence that we we think we'll absolutely refute. The government's statements that transgender people can't serve in the military. So you think when you get your shot at the marriage you're gonna win. Absolutely. And we also think that you know, the fact that transgender people have been putting themselves their lives on the line every day and service of their country is going to help to prove our case. Jennifer Levi director of the transgender rights project. Glad it's really good to have you here. Thank you so much. Thank you. All right. We'll be right back. Stay with us. Two updates for you before we wrap up tonight last night show. We opened the show with a long story about a Beller Russian model woman named anesthesia Vashem Keva who has been caught up in the saga about the Russian government interfering in US elections, and she's been caught up in what appears to be a very dangerous situation for her in which she says that she has evidence she has video and photo and audio recordings which implicate to a certain extent a specific Russian oligarch named Oleg there Pasqua involved in the Russian meddling last night. We focused on the fact that she was arrested by Russian authorities while transiting through Moscow airport last week and over the weekend. She appeared in court as you see in this video sort of scarily apologizing over and over again to that oligarch Oleg der Pasqua and saying there would be no more recordings, and she had no more proof. And she had nothing else. You wanted to say about it? The update for you on that story. Tha. Night is that anesthesia Vashkevich was released from custody in Russia today, but we know very little about that by this time tomorrow, we expect to know more her lawyer says that there will be a press conference tomorrow in which they will explain what they believe has happened in our case we will have that update for you tomorrow tomorrow night. We will also have Senator Kamala Harris of California here for her. First live TV interview since announcing that she is running for president. Tomorrow's big night. Stay.
"two month" Discussed on MSNBC Rachel Maddow (audio)
"How are you dealing with those stressors BUSTER? I mean, it's it's it was stress me. It's it's not without some anxiety to think about any of this. And I, you know, cutting. Seriously thinking about it. I I I, you know, I I think whoever the democratic nominee is if Iran, and I'm in or any number of well-qualified people that have announced who will announce the deputy of work really needs to be a central theme because I think in their campaigns. I think that too many people sort of look at the democratic election say you either talked to the progressive base or you talk to working class voters and you've got to do both. I mean, you've got to do both not just to win Ohio or win the heartland or win the electoral college got to do both as a longtime progressive in as an advocate for workers. It's it's it's the way not just to win elections. It's the way to govern. In a really is at the core of who. I am who I think a whole lot of the American public, and a strong majority of the Democratic Party is do both talking in terms of progressive issues and talk about what we need to do for workers on trade policy and tax policy and overtime rule and all of that. I think a lot of people think of those two different lanes because they think to talk to the progressive base of. Party such as it is you have to talk about issues that essentially have been turned into cultural wedges that are designed to alienate working people from the from the image of the Democratic Party. And you have really straddled both of those lands. You really have operated in both of those spaces your whole public life. Why has that never been a problem for you? Well, you go to my hometown of Mansfield, you go to where you go to the city of Cleveland or you go to apple Atucha and people have the same hopes and dreams people think if you work hard, you ought to be able to get ahead, if you love your country, you fight for the people who make it work. Whether you punch a clock or or swipe a badge or raising children or caring for an aging parent or working on a salary or working for tips in it, this expansive, sort of expansive definition work to respect work to honor work. I don't think I don't think our government. I mean, you've got a White House that looks like a retreat for Wall Street executives. They're not listening to workers, whether it's in the shutdown or it's the tax Bill who are its Trump trying to scale back the overtime rule where one hundred thirty thousand Ohioans. Five million Americans were getting getting a raise that were working fifty and sixty hours a week. We're going to get time and a half for the first time in the president tries to take it away. I mean, it's this long-term betrayal of workers from this administration from his time as a businessman to now when that's why he doesn't care about those low wage workers or any of the eight hundred thousand that are either furloughed where have lost their jobs or working without pay. You said that you and your wife Connie are thinking about whether or not you might make a run. When are you going to decide will you talk to me about it? Sure. Always talk to your kids. Of course, I we are going to the four early states, Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada, South Carolina. We will we were going to do a dignity of work listening to her. I'm not trying to have the largest rally or the biggest crowds. I wanna listen to people and and hear them whether in when I talk about the dignity of work. It's you know, it's barber in Cedar Rapids. It's physical, therapists. And in concord say it's a restaurant worker in Nevada. And it's a it's a in Florence South Carolina might be a construction worker and just just I mean people in this country working harder than ever before. They're seeing corporate profits are up executive compensations exploding their productivity is up in their wages are flattened that. There's something there's something intrinsically wrong with our economy, and it starts with respecting work in talk in in governing that way Senator Sherrod Brown of Ohio. Thank you for talking to me about these things. And I don't mean to I realize everybody's talking about this whole question about whether you're not gonna run I don't mean to. Doug, you about it..
"two month" Discussed on MSNBC Rachel Maddow (audio)
"Shipmates? Thank you for continuing to stay on the watch the mass GPS the coast guard myself and your senior leadership team as well as American public standing, all of your continued dedication to duty and resilience of that and your family's we're five plus weeks into the exciting stress. This government laps and your non pay you as members of the armed forces should not be expected to shoulder this burden. I remain heartened by assistance available to you within the lifelines and by the outpouring of support from local communities across the nation. But ultimately, I find it unacceptable that coastguard men and women have to rely on food pantries and donations to get through day to day life at servicemembers and his Admiral Carl Schultz who has the commandant of the United States coast guard speaking tonight that was just posted this evening to service members in the coastguard, letting them know that. He finds it unacceptable that they're having to rely on food pantries Indo nations telling them that their leadership has their back. And yeah, they're going to continue to be unpaid week after week after week. This is the first time that US coastguard service members have ever gone without pay through any of the shutdowns we've been through as a country in this one appears to be indefinite. This is now week five. Joining us now is Senator Sherrod Brown. Democrat of Ohio. He's a member of the Senate finance committee. Senator it's really good to have you here tonight. Thanks for coming in. I am. I feel like the more. I talked to people who have clear is and can see the horizon on the shutdown thing the more. I am very worried that it might have no end that there might not be a way to end it nor any intention to end it on the part of this administration or congressional Republicans. I think that it's clear that the McConnell's got to do his job Donald Trump. He thrives on this. We all know if he gets the five billion dollars that he'll do this again in six months and throw another temper tantrum and shut down the government a little like a two year old wanting another cookie and crying and give them a cookie. He'll he'll do it. Again. I don't see any question about that. I think huge majority Americans understand. That's what's happening. Mitch McConnell has got to stand up and do his job. And when I go through the Cleveland airport amount. We have a lot of coast guard people in Ohio in Cleveland Lorain along the long Lake Erie. And I see their service and how important it is. I talked to TSA agents at airports all the time, particularly Cleveland and Columbus and Cincinnati, and they. They're worried about they they have to go to their Bank or their landlord, or they how do you? How do you do childcare? When you ask the people taking care of your children, could you wait three or four or five weeks till I pay you. I mean, you just can't these these families are under such stress. They don't show it in the workplace much. Fortunately, but it's so hard on them. And you know, there's a group that we don't talk about much in those are the federal contractors that are making did provide food served at work in the kitchens and do the security and do the custodial work it federal facilities. They're making ten twelve fifteen dollars an hour, if they have a union and making a little more, they don't they make a little less, and they they have not in the pad. They've lost their jobs in the past. They haven't gotten back pay. So they are really left out of this. So you're saying the federal workers who are being forced to work without pay right now are in bad enough straits. But if you are a federal contractor, if you're working as a custodian or food service workers something for the federal government, at least federal workers will. Get their back pay but people who work for contractors won't in the past. They never have. So he's twelve fifteen dollar an hour jobs or less. They're preparing the food and the kitchens cafeterias that serve the public in federal buildings or serve workers in the federal buildings. They keep the buildings clean. They keep people safe security officials their security officers, and they have been left out in the past and in those kind of wages, you know, they're going to pay day lenders. And you know, Rachel when you go to a payday lender..
"two month" Discussed on MSNBC Rachel Maddow (audio)
"Evac scenes ready response from all levels of government to contain the spread. Levels of governments. That was November. First two thousand five President George W Bush at a difficult time in his presidency. Two thousand five did not go great. And he's they're announcing a new national effort to prepare for the uncoming pandemic of bird flu that's going to kill one hundred and fifty million people. And that was fourteen years ago. And nobody much remembers that now about that part of the George W Bush administration. But it turns out even things like that that do not loom large in history. They sometimes come around again in ways that could be helpful for our current round of presidential problems. We are now in the second month of the federal government shutdown over President Trump's demand that we build a wall between the United States and Mexico. We have never had a government shutdown this long. So there is no existing game plan for how to try to keep the essential functions of government rolling while no money can be expended and the people who actually affects you it. Those elements of the government are not being paid in the federal courthouse system in New York state. So not New York state courts but federal courts in New York, the administrator of the federal courts in the southern district of New York has just told the New York Times and WNYC that among the strategies they're employing in his federal courthouse to try to keep administering the Justice system while nobody in it is being paid among the things they are. Now starting to do is that they have dusted off the old bird-flu plan from the George W Bush administration. Bush gave that uncomfortable speech at the H November two thousand five it did in fact, set in motion planning across various agencies and elements of the government to be ready to have contingency plans in place in the event that there was a worldwide and nationwide bird flu pandemic that was going to bring the United States, and maybe even the whole world to its knees. A little bit over a year after the Bush administration presented that planner ordered that plan after Bush gave that speech, the Justice department and its bureau of Justice Assistance. In fact, rolled out this nuts and bolts plan, they called it an emergency roadmap for the courts for continuing operations in the event of a worldwide bird flu pandemic, quote, while it may be difficult for court managers to envision the impact of pandemic on court operations and to plan for such a scenario it is imperative that such planning take place before such an event occurs. Is to wait and see if such a pandemic will actually occurs to risk the future operation of the court at a time when it would be most needed should append occur. The operation of the courts like all government agencies will be will be seriously affected. It's estimated that some forty percent of the workforce will be unable or unwilling to report to work such reduction of available human resources could be catastrophic to the continuation of court surfaces courts will need to develop mechanisms to ensure the continuity of vital court operations in a manner that doesn't jeopardize the health and safety of the judicial workforce or members of the public appearing before the court. This is what they were contending with. This is what they were trying to plan for forty percent of everyone has the bird flu. How did they imagine in two thousand seven that the federal court system would be able to still stay open? If for no other reason that they'd have to be ruling all the inevitable draconian Corentin orders and all of the other emergency actions. The government would have to take to deal with a gigantic bird flu pandemic. What do they think they could do? Well, they could fax quote the courts pandemic emergency plan should consider alternative methods of accessing employee's expertise and abilities computers, along with sex machines and other telecommunication should be considered to allow staff members to function off site. Public health officials are the court may deem it necessary to restrict public and even court user access to the court facility to prevent the spread of disease the court should carefully. Consider the nature of such restrictions employing technology such as televised court proceedings may help remedy this issue. So what if you can't let anybody in the courthouse because everybody's got the bird flu?.