35 Burst results for "Two Kids"
Gun Confiscation in Biden's America: Will You Be on the List?
"Who have 100 ,000 followers. I'm not even mentioning their names, but just imagine for a second you garner 50 thousand followers. You're Joe Smith. You've got a regular job, living a decent life with your two kids and the dog, whatever it may be. And all of a sudden you start posting about and Biden wins, God forbid, in 2024, you start posting about Hunter Biden's crack problems and his paintings and money laundering. Oh, next thing you know, look, you get a knock at the door. We'd like to talk to you about these Twitter posts, by the way. You have a gun, son of your business. Well, actually it is our business. You have a gun. We'd like to see that. Next thing you know, you get some kind of flag red against you. Your guns are confiscated. look, Oh, they find a gun in your house and all of a sudden they make up some phantom menacing thing. Oh, he lunged for it. Meanwhile, you were seven rooms away while they're in your house. This is what worries me. They will use the gun list as a way to target their political opponents. Not that they're going to confiscate every gun. There's no way. They have no chance. But how would they do that, folks? And now let's play a little interactive game. But, Dan, I've listened to your show before. It's illegal for the federal government to create Yes, correct. It's also illegal for the federal government to use tax dollars to pay off people's student loans. But they do that. There's always a workaround for tyrants. And the workaround for the tyrants is the background check system. The federal government wants to desperately compile a list of everybody that's gone through a background check for a firearm. So they have a list of every firearm and who bought it. The problem, ladies and gentlemen, is the mandatory background check is only for sales from FFLs. It's not for private. So Mike if or I were to give away a firearm to, say, our daughters or sons, and they're not prohibited possessors, the government son of the government's business, your gun, you can give it to whoever you want, as long as it's the law. They want
Mike Agugliaro Talks Jealousy, Envy, and the Dangerous Game of Comparison
"Got a privilege to have Mike Agigliaro here with us today, and Mike owns a few companies. He owns the Food All Group, and he also owns Business Forge, which he'll probably talk a little bit about both as we do our podcast today. But Mike, I know you've been in the business, you've been in the heating and air and plumbing business, and you've purchased a few, you've sold a few, so you've definitely been in the industry quite a while, which we'll talk about. But we were on Facebook the other day, several weeks ago, and something came up about a subject about jealousy and envy. And I mentioned something, and that's kind of how we started talking. But, you know, jealous and envy has been around since Adam and Eve. I mean, that's what happened in the garden. Cain and Abel were jealous of each other, the first two kids from Adam and Eve. And as business owners, it's really easy to get our eyes off what we do every day and start looking at other companies, which I advise not to. But what is your opinion on that? What does it do for the business owner, the company, and everything like that when we start doing that? Yeah, well, I used to tell people the most dangerous thing is Facebook because it created this comparison effect. And the comparison effect is when you think someone else has something that you should have. And I think it's, you know, if people don't know how to control it, what they do is they have this, they live within this fantasy of seeing people, right? You see people, it's back. If I do a post about something about, you know, life by design or compelling your life to go to the next level or connecting deep in your relationship, I get two or three. And I think people have this kind of fascination to what they don't have because they're stuck in this wanting to have this emotional, immediate gratification, right? It's probably like we all have a buddy bought a boat, real excited, tells everybody about the boat. He's buying the boat. He has the boat six months later. No one cares. No one even knows about the boat. No more. It sits, it's growing weeds. He don't clean it no more. And his wife can't wait to get it out of the, out of the backyard and scaling companies. If we go into it, you deal with this, you deal with this a lot with people looking at you and right away, they want to say, you know, if you're a big company, you must be a thief. That's what I dealt with all the time. Right. And it's, and I don't know why, I really don't understand that, but it's human nature a lot of times because when you're achieving and you're making things happen, I often say you're a moving target and you've, but the best way to keep from being shot is to keep moving upward. So, you know, what harm, what harm does jealousy and envy cause for the business owner? Yeah. Well, people become very, you know, first off they become this whole jealousy and, and goes into this world of judgmental, right. And, and, and cast, casting judgments on what they think is true versus not true. And, and when I scaled, I built a company called CEO Warrior. I built that company which was to help the plumbers, HVAC, electricians, pest control people. And I built it to show them a different way, a different way of thinking. I don't know about you, Greg, but like, if I can get people to just change their framing in their mind, I can easily teach them marketing sales and operations. Like that's just a, that's a basic functions of a company, but to get people to think different. So when I started working with, you know, smaller companies now they scaled so many of them scaled, I mean, 50, over 50 companies that I worked with before I exited the company, sold in the last 30 months and became, and 90 % of them became deck of millionaires. I used to tell people, tell me how you, how do you act when you're in the office? And what they do is they, they, and this goes to the point of jealousy. There's oh, so and so around the corner, they got 50 trucks. And the reason they do that is because they charge too much and they, they pressure sales people. And, but it wasn't true. I'm not saying it's not true for any company, but it wasn't true. They just needed to, what is it? They were casting these stones, right? And I said, well, what about this? What about if we shift our framing just a little bit? And instead of looking at them at their, their bad and they're doing things wrong, why don't we ask them what they're doing?
We Can't Diminish Ron DeSantis's Effect on Florida
"In the culture, made a difference in politics, made a difference in the economy, either anything else. I said she's George W. Bush in address, and of course the sycophants got very upset and they posted on it. So I took it and I Because did. that's what it is. So you have George Soros's Media Matters Nikki supporting Haley. What did you think about that? Let's talk about AMAC, the Association of Mature American Citizens. These are very difficult times. Everything is very, very difficult. When you go through a drive through, a fast food drive through, Mr. producer, through have you been one of those lately? You have two kids and a wife. It's almost $50. I don't blame the franchisees or the corporate. The food is unbelievably expensive. In some states, they've massively increased the minimum wage and the benefits you have to order. So the food is fast, but it's not that cheap anymore. And people used to use fast food as a way to get through hard times. So it's tough out there, as
A highlight from The Economic Impact of Business Owner Outmigration
"It seems like our local GOP leadership, well, I'm not gonna say the conservatives, but the constitutionalists, they don't really care about the community. You never see community initiatives or outreach. And the Democrats and the socialists have that locked down. I mean, as much as there's crime and there's this and that, they're still out in the community kind of giving back. I mean, Mark Poloncarz was just at the Grider Street Community Center a week or so ago, giving out free hot dogs. And unfortunately, that's what people, the voters, the Democrat voters who do outnumber us, that's what they see. It's like instant gratification and they forget everything that's been done. And how do you defeat that? ["Oh, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa"] Hey, welcome back. Mike Lomas, Glenn Wiggle actually taking off, Ron Rheinstein in with me. We've got a special guest on the live line here. We'll talk a little bit about what happened last night. Erie County stuck on stupid again. The pain, the pain. Nationwide though, just not Erie County. Yeah, we're going to talk to an optimist in a little bit who's a workhorse here in Erie County, Nancy Ortecelli. But I got to be honest, I texted her this morning. I'm like, I feel like drinking. And it's like seven o 'clock in the morning. Can we take a personal day? Can we take a personal day? You're just so beat up. I mean, it's just, you know, it's like, you have to ask yourself, how could these people be this dumb? Well, how could you be this dumb? And it's not even rhetorical. Everything you've touched has turned to shit and you continue to vote for the same exact shit. It's just unreal. Because here's, this is just from a sleepless knife yesterday into today. People that left the cities, they're just like, I got to get away from the crime. I got to get away from the poverty, all the above. And their shitty voting has metastasized like a cancer in the suburbs. And it just keeps going and going and going. Well, they don't show up. That's what's so frustrating. Well, there's also that. I mean, you look at the numbers and it's like, how in the world do you not show up? I'm actually going through my phone yesterday. I'm saying, don't forget to vote. Don't forget to vote. Who's on the ballot? That's what I've got to think about. Like, how could you be that freaking stupid? I know. But the other, I mean, even if you look at an area where I grew up in Chictawaga and yes, the demographic has changed substantially since I left in 1998, but for the fact of the matter of the third world that has been imported, the taxes, the last county executive or not, the supervisor, she hammered two increases on the property assessments. It's back to back. Highest taxes in the country. And on top of that, the last one, because she's, again, the politicians, how they're just full of shit. Oh, that's our bad. You know, we're not even, well, maybe up for a second. Oh, we're not going to do another reassessment for two years and then literally the next year, here comes the next increase and all our bad, but we won't do it again. However, you got to pay. Yeah, sorry about that. And that's, and you look at the votes that were cast for supervisor. And I mean, again, how close it was and it'll go to recount. That's it? That's the amount of people that voted? Yeah, well, the GFP didn't do anything with absentee ballots there. So it'll go the other way. Before I forget, download our app, search Financial Guys Media in your app store and be sure to click notifications so you don't miss our weekly media drops. So don't forget about our app. Let me introduce Nancy Oreticelli. I was able to grab her. I know she's extremely busy. Nancy, what is your title today? Besides a miss of everything. I don't know, like, what is your exact title? You're everywhere, you know, constitution coalition, all this stuff. What is your, do you have a title? I mean, Antifa has called me a lot of things. So I know I work for an assemblyman, for assemblyman David DiPietro. I am on the executive board of the Erie County conservatives. I do, I'm the president of the constitutional coalition of New York state. So yeah, I do a lot of things. So that's who I am. I just, I believe in freedom and liberty and no matter what it looks like, I'm not a person who gives up and talking to a couple of people this morning, they're like, why do you sound so happy? I was like, well, I'm used to this. This is how it is here in Erie County. It's nothing new. It's not like - I know, you'd think all of us between the political environment here and then the bills and sabers, we'd be used to disappointment, right? We're like, let's roll out of that. Like, all right, I get it. Let me ask you, let's start out with the county executive race. I mean, what happened there? You know, you can't, first of all, he's literally, the cops are showing up because he's restraining a woman. We had people die in a storm because of his mismanagement. We had a record amount of businesses closed because of the way he handled COVID, right? I mean, you can't ask. And then he drops off all these illegal immigrants. They, 13 out of 50 of them get arrested and brought it up on charges. They destroy a hotel. I mean, it's like, okay, maybe you're not happy with Chrissy, but boy, you have to be some kind of a mental midget to say that's a good - And crimes on the rise. And crimes on the rise, record number. We don't want to enforce laws. Here's your appearance ticket. Yeah, number two in the entire country for Carstola. Number one is our neighbor Rochester. Number two, so what the heck happened? So people are misinformed. And it's like you just said, when you called and texted people and they said, who's on the ballot? Nobody cares anymore because it seems like our local GOP leadership are, well, I'm not gonna say the conservatives, but the constitutionalists, they don't really care about the community. You never see community initiatives or outreach. And the Democrats and the socialists have that locked down. I mean, as much as there's crime and there's this and that, they're still out in the community kind of giving back. I mean, polling cars was just at the Grider Street Community Center a week or so ago, giving out free hot dogs. And unfortunately, that's what people, the voters, the Democrat voters who do outnumber us, that's what they see. It's like instant gratification and they forget everything that's been done. And how do you defeat that? And I think the GOP needs to get out in the community more. I mean, they've had their get out the vote rallies that of consisted maybe 20 to 25 committee members. It wasn't the community. Do you know what I'm saying? And they don't - No, I get it. I was gonna say, but how - Nothing beats a good sailing hot dog. Yeah, here's your meat cylinder, go vote for four years and more tyranny. It's true, it's true. Well, that's, you're right. But the thing is, is, but then you take it a step further. You go fill up your car, holy shit, part of my life. That's even higher than it was a month ago. You go to the grocery store and our household, we do okay. But every time, between my wife, myself, and our two kids, and here's four bags, that was 300 bucks. Daughter, oldest daughter and my wife were down in Tennessee last week. My daughter was looking at the possibility of University of Tennessee. And she says to me, she said, "'Dad, do you know gas is a dollar a gallon cheaper there?' So I went through this whole thing about, you know, it's taxes. She's like, you're kidding me, just taxes. I said, yep, yep, that's the difference, difference between one state and the other. And every time somebody puts gas in their tank, it's an extra 30, 40 bucks here, as opposed to down there. So - So that's you and that's me, but that's not the urban voters. The urban voters are in poverty because of Democrat policies. But yeah, it's still vote that way. But they still vote that way because they'll come and give you free stuff a few times a year. They'll give you hot dogs. They'll give you backpacks. They'll give you this and that. A lot of them maybe don't have vehicles to fill up. Do you know what I'm saying? That's a fair point. But it's, you know what? Now that we're talking, Nancy, that also works against us too. I mean, we are top 10 in the country in poverty. Yeah, top three, I think. Per capita. Yeah, the city of Buffalo is, I think, two or three. Here's the, you know, our fair city. To your point, and I think you mentioned this, you know, the GOP will run on reducing the taxes. And Nancy, you said, these people don't pay taxes. That's true. That's not a problem for them, right? Although it is funny when you interview some of them, they actually think they do. They'll say, well, it's not fair. We're paying our fair share. Like, now you don't pay any federal taxes, and you don't pay any state taxes. If you look at it, and this isn't to be negative, but, and again, money's money. And let's just say they make $50 ,000, they're married filing joint. With your standard deduction, you're probably, you have $25 ,000 maybe in taxes total. Yeah, well, most of them. But that's what I'm just saying. And then you're probably getting a real fund. That's right. Most of them are public assistance. That's right. Talk about the women vote. I mean, you know, you look at other places, other parts of the country, and the women have really rallied together to really change things. And it just, you know, last night, I was really hoping that like town of Amherst, town of Cheektowaga, the women would step up and say, okay, we've got a guy who's clearly, you know, he's abused women. He's threatened a process server, a female process server that he's going to shoot her. And then the cops are showing up. I mean, well, I would think the moms would say, and it's amazing to me, I'm watching his speech last night, I'm thinking all these hypocrite Democrats, they're all, oh, believe the women, believe the women, unless it's a Democrat that can shove the left -wing agenda down your throat, then we don't believe them. So here's my take, two points I want to make. You know, talking about the women vote, I had a phone call the other week and somebody, it was actually Stephon, and he said, do you know a strong woman leader in Western New York who could do calls for Chrissy? And I was like, no, do you? I don't know any woman. There is no strong woman. I said, what about Lynn Dixon? They already had her. And I had thought about it. Mike, you probably remember a few years ago, I came to visit you. I wanted to start a women's group, but the coalition took off. And you know, if there's any women out there, women who would like to start a women's group, I'll help. I mean, I can't run it, but I'll help to get strong women elected. But there isn't. And then you have Moms for Liberty here in Erie County, but for some reason, the GOP will not unite with the grassroots organizations. Moms for Liberty have been phenomenal across the nation because the establishment has partnered with them. I don't know why they won't do it here. I don't get it. And if you would just unite, and it's the same issue with the conservatives and the Republicans, it's no secret we are outnumbered by Democrats. And so what happens with the conservatives and the Republicans who should be working together? The Republicans try to take over the legislature seat that was supposed to be conservative. You know, it was supposed to go to Lindsay Larrigo and they fought it with Jim Malcheski. I like Jim Malcheski and Lindsay Larrigo. They're both great people, but the GOP spent so much money on that primary that they had nothing to give to Chrissy to get her name out during this election because nobody knew who Chrissy was. And then they tried to do a party takeover in Evans where they switched a bunch of Democrats to conservatives, the GOP there did, to try to take over that party. And Ralph Larrigo did a lawsuit and the lawsuit is not finished yet, but the GOP candidate lost miserably. So they're focusing on things that should be uniting us, but they're dividing us instead of uniting. Look at West Connecticut and Lancaster. Those towns won amazingly for their town boards because the conservative committees and the Republican committees there are united and they work together. And I don't understand what the whole issue was with the Republicans trying to take out the conservatives this summer. It was baffling to me. So instead of focusing on Mark polling cars, you're gonna try to take a legacy away from a conservative candidate that it was already in the bag for them. You're gonna focus on a fight that was already a constitutionally minded candidate that was in there. It was a given, what a waste of resources and what a waste of time. That's a shame. Yeah, that's a shame. Absolutely. Well, the financial guys are here to help. I'd like to get you on the radio as well. We'll find that, hopefully we can find a strong female. That's what we need. You need the female vote. I mean, last night, the female vote shows up because Mark had been called, accused of holding a woman, I don't know, hostage or whatever. I mean, holding against her will, but they didn't show up. And they're like, God, that's so frustrating. The last thing before I let you go, the frustrating part to me and folks like Ron is we're in the business community, right? And so we're constantly getting involved. We're constantly trying to do our part. And sometimes I feel guilty because I look at somebody like you and I'm like, oh, I feel like a slug. But yeah, like, oh man, I really do. But the business community, I am just at awe this morning that they didn't show up at all. I mean, at all. How many restaurants did Mark destroy during COVID? How many gyms did he destroy? Now, some of these folks were strong enough to make it through, but I'm gonna be honest with you. If I owned a restaurant, I am never forgetting that. Now, I might be a little bit different of an animal because his picture and Gal Bernstein's picture would be on the front door and there would be a message that says, hey, if you're these people and you're walking in, do not bother, right? I mean, that's where I would be. But I get it. Some of these folks say, well, you know, I don't wanna be that aggressive. Okay, could you send Christie a hundred bucks? Could you put a sign out front of the restaurant to say, hey, just saying, I mean, like, not one. Well, that was the fault of the GOP, that they don't know how to fundraise. They really don't. And like I said before, their fundraisers consisted of just their own committee members. The public doesn't want anything to do with the GOP because the GOP has alienated them. Now, Michael Crocker is a good guy. I've met him. I've worked with him. He's really good, but he's got a lot to fix from the previous leadership. And yeah, I wouldn't want that job. I know. I know. You know what? It's funny you said that because I was talking to Glenn about it and Glenn's like, oh, they needed this. The hardest part about that is so many people have left. When you look at, and I'll say for America, I think it's a great thing, right? I mean, Florida is gaining delegates. New York is losing delegates. Florida had a $21 billion surplus. New York is going to go bankrupt at some point. I don't know when, but the math doesn't work, right? You cannot have the, and the 25 % of people that have left, they're all the top taxpayers, right? They're the ones paying the bills. Mike, this all sounds racist. Stop. That's right. Math is racist. But I mean, that's, even if the people that leave and, you know, from clients and friends and family that are in these Southern states, they still care, but they got up and left. Oh yeah. I mean, it's just - Well, they're not voting, right? They're not participating. Even if voting, but like, even if they've sent a check, like you said to Chrissy, but that's just the whole thing. They're gone. They're gone. I know, but you have, for the people, and I guess maybe this is where my deficiency comes with this, is that I'm like occupying common sense, I guess, way too much. But how the hell do people, again, you look at this, this sobering statistics or drive around the area, what the hell is coming here? Nothing. What is leaving here? A lot. A lot. What is beneficial that is derived from low -T polling cars? Let's just go over the last five years, the scandemic. How many people were affected by that? And how many businesses were lost? How many people, again, how many people have been Vax injured? Because, well, I can't go to the Bills game or the Sabres game, but seriously, I'm gonna roll up my sleeve. You were able to see the playoffs wave, but now you got my old car died. Or, again, my employer's forcing me, because this shit bag in City Hall is following crime wave Kathy, or Andrew, I killed your grandmother, Cuomo. Then you take it further. How many people died in nursing homes alone? One of my best friend's sister died in a hospital alone. Why is that, you may ask? Oh, because she tested positive for the Wuhan sniffles. Yes, I know. And these stories are out there. Yeah, I know. And yet there is zero messaging. And this is from Chrissy. This is from the GOP. This is from any Republican candidate that you can absolutely, and again, voting aside, fundraising aside, but if you got that message out there, debt would resonate. You need money to do that. You do, which is fair. And you need lots of it. I said from day one, I said for Chrissy to win, she probably needs a million bucks. And I think that's a fair number. And I think she got a total of about 150 ,000 from the business community. She was well, well, well underfunded. And I don't know, I was down there last night, I don't know if you got a chance to see her speech last night, but you could tell she cared. There was a few conservatives are sending messages, oh, she can't cry. I'm like, bullshit, she can't cry. She can do whatever she wants to do. You have the stones to step up. Then I was able to see her in the hallway before I said, Chrissy, that she's like, oh man, I feel like a failure. I said, Chrissy, I said, there's a million people in this freaking town, a million people. Do you know who was the only one that stepped up against this piece of shit, Mark Poloncarz? You. So don't let anybody ever tell you that you shouldn't do what you wanna do. There are so many armchair quarterbacks that oh, I should have done this, should have done that. I'm like, Chrissy, you're the only one. Guess what? Mike Lomas could have ran. I could have ran. I could have signed up. I didn't. Now - I feel like I told you to.
A highlight from Sumali Ray-Ross | Global Health & DEIA Expert, Coach & Speaker
"Welcome to Available Worldwide, the podcast by, for, and about the accompanying partners of the U .S. Foreign Service. Hello and welcome to Available Worldwide. I'm Stephanie Anderson here today with Shumali Ray Ross. Thank you so much for being here, Shumali. Thank you so much for having me, Stephanie. So Shumali, first we're going to get started with some quickfire questions, but before we get into that, could you just tell us in a few words what you do? I am an international health and DEI expert. I'm also an intercultural life and leadership and health coach. I'm a speaker and I combine both of it to be a fusion health and development person. And I'm sure you're much, much more than that as well, but we'll get into that as we go. Okay, great. Where are you currently located and who do you live with? I'm currently located in Atlanta, Georgia, and I live with my awesome daughter. Okay. And I know you've been attached to the Foreign Service for many years, but what countries have you lived in around the world? So I have lived in Indonesia twice, Vietnam, Cambodia, India, while my husband was in Pakistan. So it was an unaccompanied post. I've lived in South Africa and the U .S. twice. We've been evacuated twice out of Indonesia, which is quite an experience. And my husband currently is in Ethiopia and I am in Atlanta, as I mentioned. What three words might your best friend use to describe you? I think my best friend would say I'm courageous, tenacious, and definitely a nurturer. And what would you say is your superpower? My superpower is that I am very inclusive and I like to make everyone feel like they belong. And then the last question, and I love that you chose this question, but how are you doing for real? So I chose this question because I like to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. And I think if you ask me today, I'm doing extremely well. But if you asked me yesterday, I'd say I wasn't doing that well. And I think that's just the virtue of being a human. So some days are good and some days are not so good, but I take the blessings and the gratitude of the good days. And I think I learned from the not so good days. So that's how I'm doing for real. So, Shimali, I know that you, as I mentioned before, have been attached to the Foreign Service for a number of years now. Do you know about how many years? Yeah, I actually calculated it because I knew you were going to ask me that question. So it's actually 19 years. 18 years. Wow. And now you have transitioned to the U .S., to Atlanta. How has that transition been for you? I actually think it's been the toughest transition for me. And I've been asked this question, why the toughest, since I've lived in seven countries. I think it's been the toughest because, one, it wasn't a transition that we planned on. It was an unexpected transition because it was because of a health reason that we had to make this transition. It's a transition because I am here without a school or a job or an embassy affiliation. I didn't know the A of Atlanta or the G of Georgia. So everything about it is new. And so I think the first year was very tough. We left our daughter here as an 18 -year -old to go to undergrad and expected her to be an adult. And then when she became an adult, we expected her to become a child with me being her caretaker. So I think the first year was very tough, but I'm now pulling on all my sub -superpowers, which is the grit, the determination, the courage, and the resilience to learn to call Atlanta my home. You mentioned when you moved back to the U .S., when we were talking a little bit earlier, you mentioned that moving back to the U .S., your goal was to work again in public health and that you really met some challenges due to the years you spent overseas getting back into that career. Can you talk a little bit about that and how that's led to where you're at in your career now? Yeah, I think my journey being an EFM is no different from any other person's journey. I think my husband and I made a decision in our career. In fact, I was the primary person in our career. I joined USAID as a personal services contractor in the late 1990s. And it was a rare phenomena for the woman to be going and the husband to be joining and giving up their career with a 15 -month -old baby. And I was well regarded by all the security guards who remembered us when my husband went back as the Foreign Service Officer. But, you know, it was after two evacuations, we decided that my husband would join the Foreign Service and take the exam and I would accompany. I don't like the trailing or the following because we all, you know, accompany our spouses or we become members of households. And with that comes, you know, sacrifices of reinventing ourselves or taking gaps in our careers or coming back to our home countries to take care of our parents or our significant, you know, others or our loved ones. And it gets very difficult in the work environment when we come back to our home countries to find work because it's difficult to explain those gaps. Plus, it's very difficult unless we are gung -ho career people to have continuity with the same organization. So if I had worked for the same organization from country to country, which is impossible and for most of us, I didn't have that relationship with that organization. So when I came back, I had, even though I had worked for Global Fund and WHO and the State Department, I just didn't have either the continuity of time frame or the continuity in country. I just, you know, what you saw on my resume is what you got. And even though I have two masters from Columbia and all the credentialing, it just didn't matter. And I was very fortunate to have all the interviews, but I just ended up feeling terrible, like most EFMs do when they come back is like, whatever we did was not good enough. And I could never pull on my lived experience of transitioning my family through seven countries and doing all the things we do. Whatever I did, I couldn't build on that lived experience and I just couldn't make it. And I think this is what the challenge that I went through, even with all my education. I grew up with multiple languages, including English. I just, and from Columbia, with one of the best schools, I just couldn't hack finding a job. And I got up one day at two o 'clock in the morning and I just said to my husband, I said, you know, I can't do this anymore. And he said, can't this wait? And I was like, no, it can't. And I said, you know, I just can't do it. And he's like, I said, I'm going back to school because I said, where is a person? I said, actually a woman, but it, you know, I'm a gender person. I it's neutral for anybody. I said, where is a person's lived experiences taken into account? And I went back to school to become a coach because I felt that a person's lived experiences needs to be taken into account in the job market. And as EFMs, this is where we really need to advocate for our voices to be heard into the job. I'm still hoping to be that employer to take that voice into account. I am employed now to be able to have that voice heard. And I have got back into that space. And you were mentioning that you recently landed a consulting job and that you're approaching it with a coaching mindset. Yeah. Yeah. So you're able to blend what you learned from coaching into that consulting background. So I was very fortunate when I came to, you know, and it's a hard thing because I went to coach. So I went back to school and that was one of the things. So when I came back to the US, I think we always hear it's a doom and gloom story repatriating back to the US. And it isn't a doom and gloom story. It is a doom and gloom story. And it is a doom and gloom story. If you are. I didn't even know what this concept, Stephanie, means is foreign born. We are all foreign. I have friends of mine who are not foreign born, who feel they're foreign when they come back home. You know, some don't because they have homes and they come back all the time. But there are many who do not belong to Washington, D .C. or Virginia and landed back in Washington, D .C. and Virginia and feel that they are foreign back in the US after being living abroad most of their lives. So it doesn't mean because you're a person of color or you're something else. We all are. Many of us are foreign when we come back. But, you know, for me, for example, who was not born in the US and had lived abroad for nearly 20 years, you know, I came back right pre -COVID. It was freezing. My neighbors wouldn't talk to me. You know, I had two kids who were in my daughter had become a local student from Agnes Scott where she went to college. She didn't have a graduation. You know, my son had five months left of school to finish. I mean, it was a it was a nightmare on a many fronts. So my first job was to get my family situated. Then it was to focus on me. And I think one of the things I would tell people COVID or no COVID is you need to sit reflect. If it's a good experience, enjoy the experience. If for me it was like to just wallow in where I was, you know, just wallow in it, give yourself that space and the grace to say this is where I am. It's not the best situation because unless you give yourself that space and grace, how can you hold that space and grace for your family? You can't. And then just get on with it. And for me, I felt I had been at a positive 10 and now I was at a negative 10. You know, I was freezing. It was, you know, just like we were all together in this constricted space, dealing with everybody's constricted mindset, you know, and I sort of felt I had lost my purpose and I have never lived without purpose. I've been very fortunate to have a very strong role models, women role models and my mother who said to me, you know, you were born, you know, to make a difference and you were born to have a purpose and to feel suddenly I had lost my purpose was like I'd lost my radar. And I think that time to wallow and that time to have space and grace made me realize that actually my purpose had sort of fallen in that sort of space and that the thing that I have lost was actually was just buried. And once I discovered, rediscovered my purpose, I realized that the two things that make me most happy are to be of service and to learn. Well, Covid wasn't the best time to be of service. The only person I could be of service was to myself and to my family. But what I could do was to learn. And so I took a pause. I explored, I took the science of well -being, happiness, which was offered by Yale. I did a gender -based violence. I mean, that's my area along with public health from John Hopkins. I did both my certifications on health and on leadership and health and wellness. I did a transformative coaching course. I did a whole bunch of courses and sort of upgraded my skills. And the more I studied and the more I learned, the happier I felt. And so I focused sort of on my personal happiness and the happier I got, I sort of was able to hold more space for my family. It sounds like all that learning kind of re -inspired you and reinvigorated you as well. Like it's sort of that interesting chicken and egg thing where when you're not doing anything and you feel stuck and you are wallowing in it, it's hard to get out of that. And then when you do start moving forward, things really start sort of compounding in a good way. You know, it inspires you to make more changes and add more things to your plate, essentially. And I also, you know, we instituted little things like we had family dinners, everybody did their own thing. We had family dinners. You know, I tried to find other people in the foreign service community who we had been in Indonesia together, so we couldn't meet, but we could talk on the telephone. So we tried to find like a virtual community. I got onto Nextdoor. You know, I tried to find I got onto Sietar, which is this cultural, you know, I tried to find so my way of dealing with it was to create a virtual community because it was such a socially isolating period for everyone. But also, I knew that for me, community was so important. I couldn't go back to India. There was so much loss as well happening. And all you were hearing was negativity, that it was a way of maintaining positivity in one's life and networking. Sort of reconnecting with people I worked with in the past. And that's how I actually landed up getting my consultancy in Atlanta, because I reached out to a woman who I'd worked with in USAID many years ago, and she put me in touch with somebody at CARE. And there was nothing at that point. But nine months later, I got when I came to Atlanta, I had a message on my phone saying, are you interested in a consultancy with CARE? So it sounds like you really keep coming back to that idea of community and networking and finding other people. This might be an obvious question, but if there's other EFMs out there who are feeling really stuck and sort of stuck in the wallowing phase, do you have any advice for them apart from possibly finding a community? Any other steps that they might take to get themselves out of that stuck phase? So I think, you know, I mean, there are a few it depends a lot on your personality, right? I also recommend some people like to journal. I meditate a lot. Some people like to meditate. Some people like to pray. One of the things that I also recommend to people, you know, you don't have to be in this alone. It helps. I'm an ambivert. I used to be an extrovert. I'm not an extrovert. If you're an introvert, it's harder, you know, to reach out to people. But if you're at post, there are a lot of resources there. You don't have to. Nobody has to know that you're reaching out. But I always I have a clinical psychology background. Please reach out to some men if you need mental health support. There is no shame in asking for help. So please seek out any kind of support that you need. And there is so much support both at post and in the U .S. You don't have to do. Nobody has to do it alone. We were talking a little bit earlier, you and I were, about the practical advice and support that we sometimes don't get when we first become EFMs as it relates to our future careers and how those might evolve. And we were talking about clearances and non -competitive eligibility. Looking back at your career, are there any steps or things you would have done differently had you known about them in the past? I think the Department of State does a fabulous job in and I say this because I worked for USAID and for the Department of State. I worked for in Indonesia. I worked for the HR department on onboarding and I was the EFM point person. And so I know what a fabulous job the State Department does in preparing spouses who are coming out and first term officers, other officers. And these are the job opportunities. Please apply for them. And it's something that I wish USAID and other agencies would do more of and there would be more collaboration between the agencies. I've been now an EFM for 19 years and I wish I had known more or my agency, which is my husband's sponsoring agency USAID, had informed us more about non -competitive eligibility or what are the jobs that we could have applied for. I think if many of us would have known this, then when we came back to Washington, we would have had more opportunities for jobs. And as you advance in the number of years that you've been in the Foreign Service, you have that much more of an advantage when you come back to the U .S. to have access to jobs that you would normally not have. So I definitely recommend and it's my plea to EFM starting off, take advantage, whether you're with the Department of State or with other agencies such as USAID or CDC, please take advantage of the opportunities that are there. It may seem a job that doesn't match your qualifications. It doesn't matter because in the long term, when you come back and you will come back home and you will be looking for work, you will have so many more opportunities if you have put in the requirement number of years that will serve you well once you're back. And also, please go for your clearance because it took me 36 months to get my clearance and partly because I was foreign born as well. But once you have your clearance, it stays with you for the tenure of your time in the Foreign Service.
Rich, Successful, and Childless With Alex Berenson
"Alex, you have a great piece out and I want to plug your sub stack unreported truth. Everyone should go to his sub stack and support it about birth rates, having kids. What did you learn in the series of this doing this research? So, I mean, this is something as I write in the sub stack that I'm going to come back to because, you know, it's a it's a it's a vital issue. And I mean, you can argue it's the most important issue, right. You know, Elon Musk may want to take us to Mars. But right now, if you look at birth rate trends and it's not just in the U .S. or Europe, it's sort of in every rich country. They're they're low and dropping low, meaning below the replacement rate. So every woman has to has to, on average, have slightly more than two kids or or the population will start to fall. And actually, I remember in January talking to Elon about this and he said, you know, the demographers make the math really complicated, but it's actually quite simple. Look at the number of children who are born and multiply that times eighty five. And, you know, that will give you, if nothing changes, the number of people a country will have in in eighty five years. Right. At the at the end of the average life of a child born today. So a country like Taiwan, Taiwan has about twenty three million people in it. And this year it's going to have about one hundred and thirty thousand children born. So one hundred thirty thousand times eighty five is about 10 million. So what that tells you is if nothing else changes, and the children of Taiwan who are being born today actually have the replacement number of kids in eighty five years from now, Taiwan's population will be less than half of what it is today. And I mean, that's that's really unbelievable. Right. And actually, you know, in South Korea, it's worse in Japan. It's nearly as bad in southern Europe. It's terrible. Northern Europe is a little bit better in terms of the rates, but they're going down there. The U .S. is a little bit better, but we're below replacement. But this is it's not just again, it's not just sort of, quote unquote, white, wealthy countries. It's South America is like these countries that you wouldn't even expect. Like Saudi Arabia, for example, is barely above replacement level. All over the world, people are choosing not to have children. And, you know, you think about think about Japan and Sweden and Australia and Canada and Germany. These are countries that don't necessarily have that much in common, aside from the fact that they're, you know, they're they're they're wealthy. Their cultures are very different. Their attitudes towards women in the workforce are very different. They're, you know, they're their religions are different. Their languages are different. Their ethnicities are different. I mean, one of the things they all have in common, actually, is that they're they're having this stunning trend towards very few kids. So it's it's something that actually crosses cultures. And if you think about, you know, what is the like what is the ultimate biological goal of any organism? It should be to produce, you know, reproduce to get your genes to the next generation. Somehow, something is happening worldwide that is bigger than culture and bigger than what should be our most basic drive to reproduce.
A highlight from Vibrant Living: Brain Health Strategies Matter Even in Memory Care
"Are you struggling on navigating the complexities of specific dementia behaviors? Well, join me and my guest, Krista Montague, the brain behind Dementia's Success Path, as we unravel this tangled issue. Krista, with her riches of experience in dementia care, shines a light on the intricacies of caring for dementia patients. From handling physically active patients to dealing with violence in caregiving, we delve into the importance of balancing physical and emotional needs, and how fostering one -on -one relationships with recreation therapists or activity directors can revolutionize patient care. Welcome to Fading Memories, the podcast for caregivers of loved ones with dementia. I'm your host, Jennifer Fink. My mom had Alzheimer's for 20 years, and when I went looking for answers, I had the start a podcast to find them. Join me as we navigate the challenges of dementia caregiving together. This podcast is your beacon of support and empowerment. Let's share our experiences, find solace, and discover the strength within us. Get ready to embark on a transformative caregiving journey with Fading Memories. If you're looking for additional advice, be sure to sign up for our weekly email newsletter. It's brief, gives you great advice, you can read it in less than five minutes, and you know where to find the link in the website, on the show notes. We're working on subscriber -only information and specials, so you're not going to want to miss out. When I learned that despite eating as healthy as possible, we can still have undernourished brains, I was frustrated. Learning about neuro -reserves, Relev8, and how it's formulated to fix this problem convinced me to give them a try. Now I know many of you are skeptical, as was I, however, I know it's working because of one simple change, my sweet tooth is gone. I didn't expect that, and it's not something other users have commented on, but here's some truth. My brain always wanted something sweet. Now fruit usually did the trick, but not always. One bad night's sleep would fire up my sugar cravings so much they were almost impossible to ignore. You ever have your brain screaming for a donut? Well, for me, those days are gone. I believe in my results so much that I'm passing on my 15 % discount to you. Try it for two or three months and see if you have a miraculous sweet tooth cure, or maybe just better focus and clarity. It's worth definitely a try. Now on with our show. Welcome back, everybody. Thank you so much for joining us. I know you're going to love today's episode. With me is Krista Montague. We are talking about challenging dementia behaviors. And for those of you who know, who have listened long enough, you know, I had a few of those with my mom, so we'll be talking about those and others. So thanks for joining me, Krista. Oh, thanks for having me. So why don't you introduce yourself, tell us about your company, maybe your background with caring for somebody with dementia, and then we'll dive right into the topic. Yeah, absolutely. So I run a platform and a business called Dementia Success Path. The reason I started it is when I was very first getting started with my career, I ended up working in Jerry Psych. And that's where you run into the most challenging of dementia behaviors. That's why they're there at the hospital and my job there as an activity therapist was to provide natural intervention. So what to say and what to do to get them to come to a certain baseline in order for the doctors that work there to really be able to correctly prescribe medication. So anyways, that is how I got into the space. And over the course of many, many years, I cared for thousands of dementia patients with challenging behaviors. Thus, now I help caregivers on the Internet with said challenging behaviors now. So that's that's a little bit about me and my background. Awesome. While you were talking, I remembered a different scenario, so I hope I'm not going to throw this out of left field because this was a really challenging behavior. And I want to keep it as anonymized as possible. So a resident who was very tall, who had been a what do they call like a endurance athlete, did those like endurance marathons for people who are not watching the YouTube video. This is a very I don't want to do that kind of face. And he got very agitated if he couldn't get a hold of his wife on the phone and she was out of cell reception and he got so agitated, he pushed over another resident who broke a hip. We all know what happens when older people break hips. And this was an issue she had with him. It's just like he had obviously greater than average. What is the word? Oh, it's Monday and my brain's not going to work. He just had a ton of energy and he needed people to like take him running or he needed a way of getting rid of the energy. But he was out of stage of his dementia that taking him out wasn't necessarily safe for himself or others. So just off the top of your head, what do you think you would do with that? Just we're going to start off with the hard question first. Yeah, well, so I guess I'd be curious to figure out some of some of the why behind that, because ultimately behavior is just communication. The main thing with most of the dementias, whether it be Alzheimer's or from a temporal or blue body or whatever, is that it takes away language if you stick with the disease process long enough. So over time, those behaviors become a way for them to say, hey, something emotionally or physically with me isn't right. And I can't tell you any other way than maybe to shove this over or something like that. So it sounds like a couple of things are there, which is he has a physical need of moving around if that's been a part of his life and that's not being that that could definitely be part of it. The other part is maybe an emotional need that's not being met, which is he's wanting to get a hold of his safe person, the person who he feels gets him and can help orient him. And it's not happening. And I can just feel so overwhelming when you've lost control of everything else in your life with dementia. So as far as tackling those issues, I usually like to start with the physical issue first before I tackle the emotional one. So I understand it could definitely be challenging to get them to maybe run around the block, but I know where I happen to work, we had a pretty substantial backyard area, a garden area that people could walk around or even like a little mini trampoline event. That'd actually be a great idea if you can't move anywhere and he's like, there's nothing physically wrong. He has no mobility issues going on. Just have him bounce on that trampoline and just count it out, like almost treat it like a workout he's having like he might have had in sports or something like that, or maybe run laps a around few times or make it like some type of competition, like he's beating himself with it. So there's all kinds of ways that you can help productively put that energy towards something where it's safer. That was a lot of my job is figuring out how I could safely get these folks needs met so that if things continue to be an issue that then the doctor would come in with, say, like your Ativan or your Seroquel or, you know, whatever, things like that, it's a delicate balance trying if you're a psychiatrist that specializes in geriatrics to really get that right. And he really depended on us trying everything before he gets the medications. We're like, OK, so roughly we probably need this amount. But I was so I'll go there first with getting this physical needs. If he has a lot of energy and he just needs it met, there's there's always a safe way to get it done. It just takes a little bit of creativity and knowing a little bit about his life and his background and what would make the most sense for him. So all that's very important. And then beyond that, the emotional need could be maybe he feels like there isn't anybody else that just sits and talks to him. And I know it's challenging facilities. I get it. I worked in a facility, but at the same point in time, that's really where your let's just say your recreation therapist, your activity director can really be helpful with that. Chances are maybe he could like wall that person's activity planning or something like that could be sitting next to to her him or whatever and help him with these ideas and really building that one on one relationship so that it's not such a desperate bid for that person. You know, ultimately, there's always there's always something you can do. But I hear you. There's always going to be challenges when you're looking at an institutional place with staffing, training, all that type of stuff. But, you know, every single person's different. And it was it was rare when there was ever a person where I'm just like, no, we can't we can't help them. But it was it was very, very, very rare that that would ever be a situation that we find ourselves in. I'm wondering if they actually had gone to a geriatric psychiatrist. I'm thinking no, but I didn't know everything about their situation, obviously. Sure. That probably would have been a really good solution because he'd been in one memory care community and they just I'm not sure they tried very hard. That one used to be a mile down the hill from my home and there was a reason my mom wasn't there. And the one my mom was at, he had been moved there. So the whole incident with the shoving was in the person who got shoved was the parent of a client of my husband. So it was like, it was all the dramas. Yeah, it resolved. It resolved pretty well. I mean, there wasn't lawsuits or everybody was level headed and came to some some agreements that were positive. So that was good because I was like, oh, God, we don't. We're like, do we really need to get lawyers involved? Because, you know, this is just a really ugly situation. But I question whether whether they had a psychiatrist because that might have helped because they did have a really beautiful outside courtyard. I don't know that it would have been enough space. I mean, it was basically the size of an Olympic pool, so he could have run down and back and around. But I'm wondering if he would have felt like like a hamster on a wheel, just kind of going in a circle. But I like the trampoline idea. It depends on the context you're putting it in. It really does. If you're really treating it like, hey, this is, you know, a workout that we're doing together, like a training workout, if he was a big sports guy, then it could make sense for him. It just depends. As far as, I'd say it's unlikely the facility had one. And the reason being is in the place that I worked at, it's a hospital, so it was meant to be short term and that's usually how it goes. Oftentimes we see, rightly so, medication being a very last resort because it could take someone like him who is nothing's physically wrong with him. He's extremely physically active and it could mess with his balance and make it so he becomes a fall risk. So it's almost like you're borrowing from Peter to pay Paul when you're introducing medications. Oftentimes the folks that come to our hospital, they were violent, like they were spitting, they were fighting, hitting people, danger to themselves or others. Like it was very, very extreme situations where they'd be like, OK, like the drugs are like the very last resort to managing this. And I can understand in, you know, memory care or skilled nursing or something like that, it's challenging to have somebody so physically strong around with a bunch of frail people around, for sure. He certainly had quite a few of those. Yeah, he's really tall and then none of the caregivers, most of them, like 99 % of them were women and they weren't, none of them were more than average height. Most of us were pretty, yeah, we're talking like five foot two to five, six or seven at best. So it's not like they had like big, tall, you know, burly women to control him, which, you know, physically controlling him isn't really in the options either. But yeah, it was just, it was one of those situations where it's like, you know, his care partner was just at her wit's end and she was out of cell range because she was doing something for herself and their religious community. And so the fact that she freaked out that he couldn't get ahold of her was really unfortunate. But, you know, and I'm hoping that they learned something, you know, like all of this happened in like 2019 and then we had the pandemic and my mom passed away. It was like, oh, like, it was just, it was like a whole lot happened in a couple of years. But you were talking about violence. And so now we're going to shift back to mom, my mom. And the more we, so we talked a little bit about this, the more help she physically needed. Now, my mom walked fine with no AIDS. She had nothing physically wrong with her either. She had just had Alzheimer's for nearly 20 years. The more help she needed, the nastier she got. She didn't want people to help her. She didn't think she needed help. And if you pressed the wrong way, she literally scratched people and drew blood. So a little bit violent. They were always so surprised because like, oh, she's so easy going. I'm like, you're not talking about my mother. My mother was never easy going. She was, she was a very lovely, nice lady. Did lots of things for the community, loved her family and all that. But don't piss her off because that was a bad idea. And it did not help after Alzheimer's if you pissed her off. So I know we're kind of going back to lack of training, lack of time, lack of staff, which, you know, is actually has gotten worse since my mom passed away. But they never seem to be very good at diffusing the anger that came up kind of quickly. And it was always, it always made me feel so bad when she's, when she drew blood on the gal that took care of her. Because that gal put up with way too much garbage. So it's, go ahead. I was going to say, when you've got somebody who doesn't think they need help, that was the worst with my mom. It's like, you know, and I actually experienced it. We'd come back from, I always took her out. We went and watched kids in the park or whatever. This was what gave her the most joy. And we came back, she needed to use the restroom and she was, you know, she was still fairly continent, but she needed depends, just in case kind of thing. And as we all have happened, you know, her toe gets caught in the elastic and she's grunting and groaning and pissing and moaning, trying to pull the, first off, she crossed her legs and then tried to pull up the, you know, the incontinence underwear. And I'm like, I know exactly what's going to happen if I help her because she's going to get angry at me. And so I let her fuss and fume for a few minutes and I thought, this is ridiculous. And I went in and I said, oh, you just have your toe caught. That happens to me all the time. And I like grimaced and I bent over and I unhooked her toe and I literally backed up and stood up as quick as I could. Thankfully, I did not get smacked. That was what I was expecting. And I left the bathroom. I left her to do the rest of her stuff. She had her clothes back on. She comes back in her room, absolutely spitting mad. And I'm like, you know, this is ridiculous. It's not like I, I didn't even touch her. All I did was unhook the elastic from her toe, which, you know, if she didn't have Alzheimer's, she would have understood that that was the problem. But she was so mad. She was like, right, right, right, people come here. And she stomped out of her room and I thought, okay, well, I guess I'm going to go home now. And she made a circle around. The residents came back in her room. She goes, oh, hi, what are you doing here? I was like, oh, crap. Now we can start the visit all over again. Like, should have left a minute and a half ago. Oh, no. Oh, man. Yeah. So, you know, it's funny. I was actually having this discussion recently. I don't know if you've heard of Dan Salinger. He's pretty big on TikTok, like a really big caregiver on TikTok. I was just interviewing him on my Instagram. And we were talking a little bit about really how memories aren't quite as straightforward as a lot of people initially think. Something I really noticed with a lot of people with dementia, like all kinds of dementia, is that while the dementia stole the information aspect of their memories, and memories are really both comprised of both emotions and information. So you notice that a lot of the emotions behind their experiences would really linger. So, for example, if I'm sure if mom like so my thought when you're talking about mom is it's possible, maybe somebody else pissed her off earlier in the day, and she didn't necessarily hang on to the information of what made her mad earlier, but she was maybe hanging on to the emotion from it. And it's possible that maybe the her toe getting stuck in you helping her. She's like, no one respects me like this is just like the fifth thing that someone's disrespecting me with. And now my daughter's doing it to me like gosh darn it. For emotionally, her it feels like this is I'm just so tired of not having any control over my life, or I'm just so tired of like people telling me what to do all the time, talking to me like I'm a little kid, like just all those are very valid feelings of anger. But since the information gets like poof out of their brains, all it looks like is, wow, they're really overreacting to that being stuck in their pant leg. So sometimes it's not always the easiest to try to discern like, was I the fifth thing that pissed her off? Because she probably won't be able to tell you. But anyways, how I guess Dan and I came through that is he noticed that like maybe when after he got his dad to shower and his dad is mad, the anger would just kind of linger for a few hours afterwards, even when he completely forgotten he even had a shower. So it's just so, yeah, it's so interesting how all that works. It could be both helpful and unhelpful simultaneously as far as them forgetting things or the emotions lingering. So anyways, those are the thoughts I've had. The lack of control, something that she had. So she was the oldest of four kids. And so, you know, she was always responsible for the younger siblings. And I mean, I'm the oldest of two, so I can relate to that. My dad wasn't the easiest person. He, you know, he worked. My mom took care of my sister and I, and he kind of kept control of things. And whenever she wanted to do something, like if she wanted to repaint a room in the house, she'd think about it. She wouldn't talk to anybody, but she'd think about it. And then she would announce, tada, I'm going to do this. It sounded like, literally like it came out of the blue and I knew that it didn't because I think about things and then say, I think we should do X, Y, Z. Like our closet door, it's irritating. And it's like, we're going to put a barn door on here. So I talk about it, then I research it, then I share the research. So I'm not like, bam, we're going to do this. And it sounds coming out of the blue. So I don't think she felt like she had a lot of control, like her whole life since she was a teenager, probably, or maybe younger. Um, you know, like both my grandparents worked. So my, you know, both my uncles were kind of rowdy. She had the rowdy cousin that wound up. So yeah, I don't think she felt like she had a lot of control. So even if it wasn't the fifth thing that pissed her off, even if it was only the second or the third thing that day, yeah, I can totally see where that would have. That would have been an issue. So I've learned so much since she's passed away. It's like, dang, I really wish I'd known this five years ago. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's interesting. I find that anytime, regardless if they have dementia or not, if there's like a huge reaction that feels disproportionate to the situation you're in, chances are, it's probably not about you. It's probably about a bunch of other stuff. And it's very much the same with our folks with dementia. And that's usually the fastest way I can get them calmed down from anger is I would say it sounds like there's just a lot of things that are frustrating you here. Let's just go outside and you can just tell me what's on your heart. And usually I was right. There's usually like six different things that were all pretty valid sounding that was pissing them off. And it was really relieving for a lot of them to have someone actually really sit down and listen to them. And it was a very unique position to be in as far as the facility goes. To actually be the person who had a little bit more time to spend with, with my folks to really understand where they were coming from a little bit more. I was really special. And it's really unfortunate because COVID, many of the other things COVID has taken out has also taken out this particular facility as well, which it stinks. But, you know, COVID did a number on all of it and everything on everybody on all the things. I guess I want to circle back real quick when we were talking about the staff and the training and things like that. Something I notice oftentimes just because of maybe because it's just severely underpaid they're asking their folks to do is you and oftentimes you'll find culturally people who maybe came from more of like an authoritarian type parenting background and they see these adults who are acting like children in their eyes. So they almost instinctively go back to like this authoritarian style parenting to these adults. And it just doesn't work. It just it just doesn't work. And that's why, you know, the training is so, so important. But now it's just rough when you live in a country where everything is all about the dollar. Yeah, my so where my mom lived, my husband's a real estate broker and we were talking about this exact topic because the people that did the hands -on carrying on my mom did not get paid worth beans because some of them worked at Starbucks for eight hours and then went and dealt with these, you know, these people with dementias. And like I could barely deal with my mom for two or three hours at a time much. And that was on top of what all the other stuff I did, but I didn't work at Starbucks for eight hours and then come deal with my mom for eight hours. Like, nope, that was outside my abilities. So I always, you know, tried really hard to, like, make their life easier. But the gal that my mom was always drawing blood on, she just worked at the community and she was freaking poor at it, you know. And I had a really good relationship with the executive director. If he was making big bucks, he wasn't spending it. He had an older model Honda Accord. You know, he wore polo shirts and khaki pants, you know, not dissing pennies. I shopped there, but that's kind of where he looked like he shopped. You know, he wasn't wearing suits. And I always, I thought, I don't know how you do this job because you've got the staff to deal with. You've got the residents to deal with. You've got the residents' families to deal with. Like, there are too many people to try to make happy. There's not enough money for you, but somebody's making money. And so I had my husband, like, pull up the property taxes and when the building was built and we, like, kind of assessed, like, their expenses. And it was like, God, I don't know how anybody's making money doing this. And it was expensive. We paid $5 ,600 a month for my mom. And then she moved in March 2017. So every March she was reassessed. The memory care director was very kind. Always, you know, when you kind of got somebody who's in a range of needs, always kind of scaled it to the lower end. And my mom fell, broke her leg, was bed -bound, wheelchair -bound, and she still skewed everything, like, as minimal as she could. And the fee was going from $5 ,600 to $7 ,200. And I've said this a lot. I think my mom had a moment of clarity where she realized there was this COVID thing going on. You know, people were not allowed to come in to the community. We weren't allowed to take them out to go watch kids in the park. She was going to need this wheelchair. The fee was going to, oh, forget it. I'm out. I really seriously think she had that moment because she died March 31st. The new fee was supposed to take place April 1st. So she saved us some money. Yeah. I was like, man, you've done that just right, honey. I mean, and it just, yeah, it just seemed like there just had to have been a moment of clarity. So yeah, it was crazy times. We were very blessed. They let us come in. I saw her the day before she passed away. They called me on the 31st and said, come now. She passed away before we got there. But literally, so this is March 31st, 2020. We're still in the initial stages of quarantine, you know, two weeks to flatten the curve. All that, if you guys remember back then, it's like, I almost forgot that was the beginning of the year, basically sitting at home. No, we were so innocent back then. Yeah, we thought we were doing really good sitting at home, baking sourdough bread. Oh, I was most certainly not doing that at that time. I was working with the ventilation staff. Oh, wow. Oh, so yeah, nope. I was doing my same stuff, but there was 10 of us. So there was my husband and I, my daughter, son -in -law, my sister, her kids and husband, and one, my mom's sister and one brother. And my aunt wore a mask. So this was a little bit before masking because my aunt took care of my grandmother, who had vascular dementia, lived on grandma's social security. So when my grandmother passed away, I don't understand why my family made this choice. Still don't. Well, obviously when my grandmother passed away, my aunt didn't have a career or money. So my aunt lives in subsidized senior housing and she has her own mental health struggles. She obviously knew that maybe wearing a mask was a good idea. And again, great relationship with the executive director, but that man looked like he was about to have a complete stroke because literally there's 10 of us standing outside my mom's room, including two kids. My niece was a teenager and my nephew was almost a teenager. And he never basically said, get the hell out. But it was very obvious on his face. That's what he wanted to say. But a lot of people didn't get to see their loved ones at all. So I felt really blessed and that must've been really, really hard for them.
A highlight from Sarah Buckley | Frolic & Fare botanical food blog
"Welcome to Available Worldwide, the podcast by, for, and about the accompanying partners of the U .S. Foreign Service. Welcome to Available Worldwide. This is Stephanie Anderson here today with Sarah Buckley of Frolick and Fair. Welcome Sarah. Thank you. So Sarah, let's get started with our quickfire questions. First of all, your business is Frolick and Fair, but in one sentence, what do you do? I make food and take photos of it and style it with plants. Okay, great. What other hobbies do you have? What do you do for fun? I love anything crafty, artistic. I have two kids. They're both incredibly artistic. So if I'm not working on the blog, we are like on the floor coloring or making something pretty much all the time. Do you allow glitter in your household? Not if I can avoid it, no, but sometimes it just, it makes its way in. What about impractical things you carry around the world with you? I always ask this question since all of us move so often. Is there anything impractical that you always bring with you? Absolutely. I have a whole collection of dishware since I'm a food photographer. So I mean, right now I have an entire closet of antique forks and old dishes and random pots and it's incredibly impractical. I can't downsize. I'm just constantly getting more and yeah, I plan to bring it all over the world with us and it doesn't travel well either. They're fragile. So probably the most impractical thing that I carry around the world. Is it a collection that you started before you began your business? Was that collecting a passion before? I mean, I do think subconsciously I might've become a food photographer because I love dishes so much and I didn't really have an excuse to buy them and now they're part of my business. So there's the excuse there now, but no, it wasn't something that I was collecting before. All right, next question. What is your superpower? I am the kind of person who just will not quit. I will be doing and working on something for years and we'll keep going even long before I see success. I can convince myself to just stay focused and to keep working on something. And the last question, and I will say you were the first person to ever agree to answer this question, but Sarah, how are you doing for real? Yeah, I'm a little bit stressed right now. We have a husband who's traveling for work. So, you know, just solo parenting, I find challenging. I give single parents so much credit. So yeah, just solo parenting, struggling a little bit with the beginning of the school year. It feels like everything is so fast paced, not really into it, but but yeah, it's just a busy season. And, you know, as we go into the holidays, it's the busiest time workwise for me. So trying to remember to not move at a million miles per hour and take some breaks. Now you are currently in Muscat, Amman, and you didn't PCS this summer, right? You guys have been there for a little while? Correct. Yeah, this is our second year. So let's talk a little bit more about your chronology, your timeline. You used to be a nurse manager and now you're working as a food blogger and a creative. So can you talk us through a little bit about what point in your career did you first move abroad and how did that coincide with kind of growing your family? And just let's talk a little bit about what that transition looked like for you. Yeah, so when we moved abroad, I was still working as a manager remotely. And this was before COVID, you know, before everyone started working online. So in a really short period of time, my job kind of agreed to let me stay on as manager because I really did not want to let go of the job. It was a dream job for me. So I had to really quickly teach myself how to do everything paperlessly and online. And how to figure out the time difference because I spent a lot of time talking with patients. And it was interesting trying to kind of hide from people that I was overseas in a different time zone. You know, I wanted it to feel natural and I definitely wanted my job to not feel me not being there. I held on to that job for as long as I could. And I remember showing up to our post and Tunis with a one month old getting there and telling my social sponsor, I need internet today. I have work I need to do. And looking back, that feels so crazy. But I really wanted to hold on to the job. And then about a year in, I really felt like I just wasn't doing a good job. You know, I tried, but they disagreed. They wanted to keep me on as the manager. But I did tell them I just would love to keep working there and, you know, remotely train a new manager. But that I knew that I wasn't doing half as much as I was when I was there in person, no matter how much I tried.
Balancing Family Life With Retired L.A. County Firefighter Scott Woods
"I want to go back a little ways. We talked about your wife. You were in Academy before you met her. What happened when you added kids? Oh boy. When you add kids and as you go through your career, when you're young and you're single and you still have a lot of energy. So now you're, you're working more. I was a paramedic when I had kids. So you're working more, you're up more because you're busier being a paramedic. And now you throw kids on top of the mix when you come home. And you know, my wife, well, we had, we had two kids in diapers and so she's beat from being gone. I worked in overtime, so I've been gone for three days. I'm beat when I come home. I want to take a nap. I want to relax. And she's like this with the kids. There's gotta be a balance where, okay, I was gone for three days. I'm going to come home and I'm gonna take the kids for two hours. And then you got to give me a couple hours to get a break. Cause I know she's been doing her thing. So I would just come home and take the kids and just say, go. And that was it. Like go to the gym, go do what you want to do, go relax, go whatever. So I would take the kids. I would just tough it out through the morning. And then at noon lunchtime, she would take them back and then I would get my nap or do whatever I got to do. But we always had some type of arrangement and communication in there. And, and you know what, a lot of it, I learned from the other firemen like, Hey, you know what you've got three days. She's got, she has the kids at home and I'm like, huh? What? Oh, okay. And then I see it, you know, cause there's a guy, you don't realize, I don't, you don't realize those things. I wouldn't even think about it. Like I'll go home and take my three hour nap. And so I learned, you know, from the other guys, one of my old captains told me, Hey, stop and get her either flowers or a coffee. So every shift home, when I got off, I would get her coffee in the morning and I would come home with their coffee. And then, then there would be days where I would come home with her stuff and she'd be like, Hey, just go do your thing. They'll take a nap, go do what you got to do. And I'll be on with the kids. And then you can have them this afternoon. Perfect. So I really worked it out, but there was always a communication that, Hey, she needs some time. And I need some time, you know, in the beginning, she had a hard time with the station, not being worked like, Hey, you're gone having fun all day. And then you come and home you know, I'm working the whole time. Well, wait a minute. I know when you come to the station, it looks like we're always having fun, but we work a lot and we get up at night. So I didn't get eight hours of sleep last night. So there was an Adam Odyssey. She kind of held for a long time of, Hey, like, Hey, you get to go have fun. And then I'm with the kids and then you come home and then you want to rest or you want to go do something. So that was a little bit of a balance. And I think as the years went on and she realized how much we do work and how tired we are when we come home sometimes. And plus I had two girls, so they went off and do their girls things all day. I say, when I come back, I want to, I want to be a fireman's daughter. I love what you said, Scott, and it makes so much sense. And I think spouses get that notion that the firefighter goes to work and has all this fun and they get to do all these things. And it's even the for slow stations. We have to remember as the spouses, yeah, they get their hour of PT and yet they, you know, they're watching a movie at night. They're literally always ready to go at any time. So you're talking 48 hours of anticipation of constantly being ready to go on a call. I don't think people understand the mental load that takes to operate like that. And when you're stuck on a potential 95 ,000 hour shift and you're constantly in that be ready mode, it is exhausting for the firefighter. And then a lot of spouses and people, I think civilians mostly have that idea like, oh, firefighters have it so easy. It's like, you don't really understand it until you see it. And then they come home and they're exhausted. It's not how many calls you've run necessarily, right? Well, the calls doesn't even account for everything, the maintenance that has to happen within the fire station. I mean, hello guys, we're talking about you're exhausted because you've cleaned your house for three days and took care of your kids, but these guys are doing the same thing and they have to be up all night. Yeah. And they have to go to traumatic calls and they might have other things going on. So if you look at it that way. Yeah. It's never, it shouldn't ever be a competition of who has it. It's gotta be a balance and you got to the key to that. Like the key to what made us get that, to make that work was it's a balance. And to your point, like when you said about the mental status of how you are all day, I describe it even at slower stations, you're like a cat. I am like a cat with my nails out in a room full of dogs all day. And you know, that tone goes off every time that tone goes off, every fireman gets that you're going to work. That's it. That bell goes off in your head and that mental status of like being like a cat for three days, four days, 45 days. And it's mentally very tiring. And as my career went on, I always say as a firefighter and a paramedic, it didn't bother me as much because you're in there doing it. But then as you supervise your roles, it's more of a mental status, a mental thing that makes you tired. If you're driving that fire engine coat all the time, that mentally takes a toll on you because you're running red lights. You don't know what the other divers are going to do. And same thing as a captain. Now you're, you're worried about all your guys. So there's always that mental status, especially at the end when as a captain, you've seen a lot now and you know, a lot more now, and you know what can happen. You know, you understand more in every year, that mental capacity, it goes from being a physical to a mental, and that's all it was for
A highlight from What You Do When Moderate Drinking Fails
"And I tried to moderate and make all the rules, like I'll only drink two times a week, I'll drink beer, not wine, I'll only drink when I'm out, I'll only drink when I'm home. I mean, you name it, I tried it, except for stopping. Hey everybody, welcome to the Addiction Unlimited podcast, where you get to learn everything you want to know about addiction and recovery. I'm your host, Angela Pugh, co -founder of Kansas City Recovery, Life Coach, and Recovering Alcoholics. To learn more about me, you can listen to episode zero on your podcast app, or find us on the web at AddictionUnlimited .com. Hi Casey, thank you so much for coming on and doing this episode with me. I am super excited to get to know you better. I'm so glad you're here. Yeah, thank you so much. I'm excited to be here too. Yeah, why don't we start with, for everybody listening, just tell everybody a little bit about you and what you do. Yeah, absolutely. Well, so I am a life and sobriety coach. I have a podcast called the Hello Some Day podcast for sober curious women. I primarily work with working moms who also kind of do all the things and then come home and drink to sort of zone out from all the things or stop their racing minds. I stopped drinking seven and a half years ago. For a couple of years, I just wanted it to be part of my life. I didn't want it to be the thing. In my life, I was working at a fortune 500 company. I had two kids. I was just living life without the headaches and the hangovers and everything else. And then I went back to coaching school. And again, I wasn't intending to be a sobriety coach. I was just wanting to be a life coach for pretty much every woman I knew who was 40 and had done all the things you were supposed to do to have a good life and looked up and was like, why aren't I happy? Every woman I knew at my corporate company. So what was your journey like? When did you realize that you had a problem that was bigger than just putting it down and leaving it alone? Like where you realized that you were gonna need some sort of additional support? Yeah, I had been worried about my drinking for a while. I always knew I was a big drinker. I loved it. I didn't drink in high school and I was sort of the hypervigilant, super responsible person. And then I got to college and I joined the women's rugby team, which is like a crash course in binge drinking and figured out that getting drunk turned off all of those worries in my mind, right? And so I would drink heavily and then be brutally hungover. And then after I graduated college, it just still became my main way of coping and not stressing out. I would drink before going on business trips, like to not worry about it, which was terrible because I was brutally hungover. I would drink before job interviews, the night before my dad got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer when I was 21. That was kind of a way that I stopped worrying about it. And so I would drink, I would throw up in my 20s for like sometimes hours on the bathroom floor, just throwing up bile and sweating. And my mom was like, maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship with alcohol. And I thought it was a joke. I thought it was a funny punchline at the time, but it definitely stuck with me. So I always drank, I was sort of a 365 nights a year drinker, always open the bottle of wine with dinner, always have a cocktail when you went out. And then I started having the 3 a .m. wake ups and off just the charts anxiety. And for a while I was oblivious. I thought it was, I need to go to therapy and get anti -anxiety meds and anti -depression meds. And they gave me sleep medications, which then I was drinking a bottle of wine a night and taking Ambien, which is so dangerous. And then I wasn't oblivious anymore. Do you know what I mean? When I knew and I tried to moderate and make all the rules, like I'll only drink two times a week, I'll drink beer, not wine, I'll only drink when I'm out, I'll only drink when I'm home. I mean, you name it, I tried it except for stopping. And then I was like, oh dear God, I might have a real problem. I read Drinking a Love Story by Carolyn Knapp. And just when she, the way she writes about drinking and the relationship and how much she loved it, I was just like, yikes, this is me. I sort of wrote myself a letter saying, I have a serious problem with alcohol when my son was like six months old. And then I came back three days later and was like, just kidding, no problem with alcohol. I mean, I was like rationalizing to myself on paper. Right, I like how you were just letting your journal know that you were just - Oh yeah, like just kidding, nothing to see here, no problem, just in case. Yeah, it was so funny. So I worried about it when he was six months old. I took my first serious attempts to stop, go to therapy with someone who dealt with addiction, joined an online group of people who were trying to quit drinking. And a girl from that group took me to my first AA meeting when he was five years old. So six months to five years of trying desperately to moderate when he was five. My first attempts to really be like, okay, I stopped for four months. I got pregnant with my daughter, amazingly felt better. Life got better because I didn't drink for a year. I was like, wow, I'm fixed. Like it was situational, the issue, right? Now I can moderate. Went back to drinking with the intention to just, what we all say, like just on a date night, special occasion, decently quickly, I was back to a bottle of wine a night or more. The whole time I knew it was an issue. I knew too much. Like after you've done some recovery, every hangover, every fuzzy memory, every anxiety attack. So it took me 22 months to stop again for good. The whole time I was writing myself letters being like, I need to stop drinking. This is gonna mess up my life. But then when I did stop the second time, I ended up hiring a sober coach, which helped me so much. I'm sure it's why I became one. But that was my last day once, the day I reached out to my coach and I didn't know it was going to be, but I just kept stacking days in front of each other. And I also knew how hard it was to get started. And I knew that it would take me to that low place. Like I just burned my hand on that stove enough that I could no longer say it's my job or my husband, or I knew it was the alcohol that was bringing me to that point. What did your first year of sobriety look like? Like what did you do different? How was your life different in your first year? Most of my life stayed exactly the same. Same job, same husband, same kids, same friends. What I did do was I took it incrementally while knowing I didn't wanna go back. So I did not focus on forever. I did not spend a lot of time debating whether I was an alcoholic or I had a serious issue with drinking. I just said, okay, I'm going for a hundred days alcohol free. I was unable to make it to day four before then. So this was like the biggest goal I could imagine. And I told everyone in my life that I was going a hundred days alcohol free as a health challenge. I drank every single night. There was not a single person who was going to not notice that I was like ordering something else. So I told my workout group and my work colleagues and my husband and my friends and literally anyone. I told my husband that I needed to get all the wine out of the house. He still drinks, he drinks beer, but seven and a half years later, we've never had wine stain in our house. People bring it and take it away. And I told him to please not bring me wine home when if I had a stressful day, he knew that's what made me happy and that it was going to be really hard for me, but I was serious. So I had my coach, I had my online group that got me through my first 60 days. At 60 days alcohol free, I joined sort of an online coaching program with a group that helped me with even more people, even more knowledge, even more support. At four months, I had a major anxiety panic attack. And that was sort of the breaking point because I really felt like I couldn't cope. I was jumping out of my skin. It felt like I could barely move through the day. Turns out I had an undiagnosed mood disorder, go figure. I never would have figured that out if I wasn't sober, like never. But I went to my doctor and said, basically I can't go back to drinking and I cannot feel this way. So you have to help me. And she did. I got a great EMDR therapist. I got on some medication. I made it through that and then kept adding supports till I felt like I was balanced and solid.
A highlight from Mrs. Chatterjee Vs Norway (Hindi) (2023) Movie Review
"What's happening everybody, here and Ben back again. We've been in and out of the studio, so thank you for your patience. But, you know, we have lives and we want to go travel. Ben was just in Disney. Do you want to tell us a little bit about it? Yeah, we took our granddaughter, who is 9, we wanted her to get away from her younger sisters and have just a breather. It was a lot of fun. I was just telling Kira, I was playing the crane machine at the Disney arcade and I had won about 20 little stuffed animals and I was passing them out to people in the arcade. It was probably one of the nicest things I've ever seen someone do. People would come up to me and compliment me on it. Shout out to Lily, you're an amazing child. I think that is such a sweet, heartwarming story. I think it shows what a good person you're helping raise and be around and your influence. I think that's really beautiful. Speaking also of children, today we are covering the film Mrs. Chatterjee vs. Norway. This was a user suggestion, so thank you for recommending it to us. I had not seen this film, heard of it, or knew the true story that it is based on before it was introduced to me through this podcast. Ben, what about you? Yeah, I had never heard of it. It was suggested and I actually saw the backstory on it when I looked to see what it was about. It piqued my interest, so I threw it by you and I was like, this sounds like something that would be really interesting to cover. And here we are. And here we are. So, let's dive in. Obviously, it follows the story of Mrs. Chatterjee, who is an Indian woman who comes to live to Norway with her husband because he gets a job out there and he tells her, oh, we're going to live in Norway. We're going to start our family there. So, she follows him there. While they're there, they have two children. And something that I thought was weird was that the government just comes in and does these wellness checks on the kids. I don't know. That felt weird to me without school or any intervention. The processes felt weird to me. What did you think? Well, from what I understood, the coworker had them come in to watch them because the husband confronts him about it. And that's what I thought. I thought the coworker had mentioned something about some kind of abuse that he saw. And that's why it happened. Okay. So, I thought that that was abuse towards her. Okay. Well, that makes sense. And then the children would be under the abuse. Okay. I was a little confused, guys. My bad. So, they come in. They're watching the kids for what? It sounds like, what, like 10 weeks they watch the kids? And then in something that I felt completely unprofessional, they just basically kidnapped. They just take them. Yeah. I was watching it and all of a sudden, they just grabbed them and threw them in the car and took off. And she clings on to the car and goes flying off the car. And I'm like, oh, my God. What just happened? I'm like, this is – I mean, no notice, no nothing. I mean, I thought it was totally unprofessional. I don't know if that's how they do things in India. I mean, not India, no way. But it just totally blew my mind that they would just grab the child and run out the door like a criminal. Literally, like a criminal. And the fact that they were like so fake nice to her, like not even being like, hey, like maybe you should work on this and like change this or we're going to take your kid. They were just like so bent on taking the children that it felt like they never gave her a chance. They felt – it felt like they were just like doing whatever they needed to do to get these children into the government's custody. Yeah. At one point in the movie, they mentioned that, that like most of the children that were Indian heritage were being taken. And it was like under the rug. I don't know if this is true. I don't. This is the viewpoint of Mrs. Chatterjee and her biography. I don't – like I'm not trying to knock Norway. I don't know what happened in Norway. I'm not saying you're racist. I'm not saying you're child stealers. Nothing like that. I'm saying what I witnessed in the movie. Exactly. And this movie does not paint Norway in a good light, I will say. But to that point, this movie also is very one -sided. Obviously, it is. We're obviously going to be on the side of our protagonist, Mrs. Chatterjee. But at that same point, like I felt like they could have really dove into a lot of other aspects of it. I mean, the movie is a runtime of two and a half hours. And the most interesting parts I felt like we could have like had more of. Like the whole work that she does with the female leader when she like goes to the conference. I feel like we could have seen more of that work. We just kind of get in like a montage. I feel like the work that she – that when she has that secret meeting with the other woman about the video of your child. Like he's sad. He wants to come home. I thought we could have expanded on that. Instead, it was like a lot of, I don't know, none. It just felt very long in parts that it could have been shorter. Yeah, I agree. And looking into like I actually – since we've watched the movie, you have to delve into like what it says on the internet and what the facts are or like the facts stated. And from what I understood, there was proof of abuse by the husband and the brother -in -law against Mrs. Chatterjee. So I mean there was reasons for them to investigate. I get that. I mean I don't know why they did what they did by just taking the child and running. That seemed like really dramatic. And if that really happened, that's awful because no one wants to see their child just ripped out of their arms. I mean that's just terrible. And the stuff she went through, if all this is true, is just awful. I mean you can't look at one person because of their cultural differences and think that they're an unfit parent. I mean that'd be like me going into like say the deepest part of Africa and going to a tribe and seeing how they raise their children and being like, Oh, this is wrong. I have to take this child out of here. You know what? Because I'm the intruder. I am not part of that culture. So I can't do that. 100%. 100%. And this movie, it felt like, one of the parts that made me so mad was throughout all these court cases that she's going on, they're filming her have these hysterical breakdowns after her children get forcibly ripped from her. After she's done nothing, she's like, just give me my, like, forcibly ripped from her and then they're like, Oh, well she's mentally unstable because she's screaming and she swung at a police officer. It's like, yeah, this police officer ripped her child literally from her arms and then the other one is like restraining her. I thought that was so, I hated that. It made me feel like it was very demonizing to like, I don't know, to like women having emotions. And like you would see it like with the husband a lot too. Like obviously like in real life, he was like abusive. But like he was always trying to like silence her and be like, Hey, you need to get it together. We need to assimilate. We need to change. We need to do this. We need to do that. Whereas like she was like, but I want to raise my children with the culture that we grew up in and I want to fight for them. Whereas he was very much like all about himself and his citizenship and like making a life for him in Norway and not really like thinking about her and the kids. I believe. And they point that out too when they're like, Oh, well, you don't help with chores. And he's like, yeah, I don't help with chores. I thought that was so funny that he got so like bent out of shape about that. But I don't know. And then going back to her brother -in -law, his brother, obviously a dirtbag. But I thought that one scene between the brother and the representative, the representative of Norway was super interesting. Like that bribe scene, because I was like, OK, you're obviously going to the weakest link to bribe them, painting you in an even worse light. Yeah. But like if you're going to do that, you would go to the weakest link. You'd go to the person that you know is going to be the most easiest manipulate. I mean, they probably looked into his financials and everything were like, oh, like if we go to him, we could probably do this. I'm not saying that's what you did. No way. Trust me. I'm not trying to bash you. I'm not. I'm just saying what I think happened, like if this is how it went, then that's what I believe happened. I mean, and as a culture like the Indian culture, from what I see, and I'm not sure this is even true, is that the husband works, goes out, makes the money, and then the wife is the patriarch of the house. So she runs the house. She's like, what comes in the house is furniture, the food, the preparation of food. So I think that's, I mean, I could be wrong. I don't know. I'm not Indian. I'm just saying from what I've seen from different movies and different aspects, I feel that's the way the Indian culture is. I mean, so I could see that when that was happening, like I was like, oh, I can kind of understand that, you know, but I also understand that like he was a total jackass. He was a jackass. And in my mind, because I am inferring a lot between the lines, in my mind, like she talks about how she went to school and got her bachelor's like degree in science and how like she was educated. So in my thought, like, and then she's like, oh, and then you wanted to marry me. And I thought that, well, we're going to get back to that scene that I'm thinking about in one second. I'm going to finish my point. So when and then they get married. And then to me, it's kind of seemed like she gave up her career or her job or whatever aspiration she had to move to Norway. Because she says that she says, well, before I moved to Norway, I had a job when the other lawyers questioning her in India. And she's like, well, I had a job. And he's like, well, you don't have a job now. She's like, well, because I moved to Norway with my husband. It's like they're they're trying to set her up to not win constantly. And I feel like so. Obviously, like there is a disclaimer before this movie saying that it is dramatized and it is based on true events, but not a true depiction. And I think what we see a lot in the film is like when you're living this, I can only imagine like when you're living this, everything is so heightened and it feels so much worse than like what it could be. And it can feel like the whole world is against you. I mean, I would have loved to see more scenes of like her and the female lawyer that she had in India because it felt like they had like a really great bond. They had like a really great team if they wanted to make like, yeah, because this movie was like half like melodrama, half courtroom drama, half like family drama. It was it was kind of all over the map, which I know is like very true for real life because it was it is based on a true story. Yeah, like learning over time the history of India and like their their subterfuge of like how they were put down, like during the occupation of Britain and all they had to overcome and everything. I can kind of see how like it's it's it's a battle for for the Indian people to like get respect. And I feel like this movie showed that, like, even though she was a mother that was living her traditions and doing what she was, she wasn't respected. Like they looked at her as just like you're an Indian woman and you have no say in anything. And it was like the white women that were in charge of the children and family services seem to look down on her for for being an Indian mother. And I thought that was awful. I thought it was awful. I hated those women and I try not to hate women, but those women were the literal worst. Like when they're laughing in court and stuff and just like snickering to each other, whatever. They're the worst characters in the movie. I hate them. Another character I hate in the movie as well was the teacher who was like, oh, well, she's not involved in the kids schooling because a project was turned in late. It's like, OK, she's also like not she's like being watched every day and like she forgets one project, like cut her a break. I don't know. It felt like she was getting judged so harshly all the time. And like, I don't know. I liked when in the first appeal or second appeal, when the teacher comes and says like, hey, I like and they kind of write her off as a disgruntled employee. I liked what she had to say, because, like, she really did see her like fighting for her children, which is like I get it. Like in the court of law, there's no room for emotion because it is like the law and you have to hold the law and like whatever comes along with that. But I felt like if one person is doing like all this to get their kids back, like obviously they're mentally fit enough to like sit through like courtroom procedures and like beg and plead. But like she felt like she was not being heard until I think the final courtroom scene in India. Yeah. One part that really tore me up was when she was looking at the judge and she's like, please, please let me say something. And she's like, I'll do whatever you want. I won't feed with my hands. I won't. She's like, I just want my children. I'll do whatever you tell me. She's like, I'll be a good mom. I'll be a good mom. Just let me please have my children. And I'm like, you know, oh my God, this woman's basically saying, look, I'll do anything you want. Just give me my children back. You know, and the judge is like, yeah, no. And I'm like, what? No. I mean, just listen to what this woman's saying. She's not saying like she's saying you can watch her. She's saying you can do anything you want. Just give her the chance to be a mother. And I'm like, I'm like, just a lot of it was just very heart wrenching. I was like, oh my God, you know, as someone that doesn't have a child in their life, I was like, oh my God, I would totally do anything to get my child back in my life. So I totally understood what this woman was saying. I mean, you'll make sacrifices. You do whatever you have to do to have your child in your arms. So like, it was really emotional for me. I thought it was a really awful depiction of the government and like how the government can just do whatever they want and get away with it and do. And that is the key. And do. The government will screw you over and they will. Time and time again. And I think it shows because they talked a lot about how the more kids that they have in the foster care system, the like more money that they get. And like I get the foster care system in Norway seems broken. They say it's children first, but I don't agree with that. And then I feel like the foster system here in America is broken as well. Like, I feel like people that are foster parents don't do it for the right reasons. They do it to get the money. Like we even see like when she because I mean, and I was right. I was with her. Like you can't kidnap your own kids, but also you can't take them illegally across borders. Like I understood that. But like when you see her kidnap her kids when she tries to make it to Sweden and you see them just like in this like small dingy apartment being ignored, like she literally walks into the apartment, takes both the kids and leaves. And they don't even realize like she's able to get to Sweden. So I know a little bit about foster care because my mom and dad, they foster children. And a lot of the kids would tell me that they go to houses and that people wouldn't care about them because they were making money. All they cared about was the money they were making. And they wouldn't put the money towards the kids. They just take the money and spend it on whatever they could for themselves and neglect the children. Not all foster parents are like this. Do not quote me on this saying, oh, he said, no, I didn't. I'm saying these people told me that this is how sometimes it happens and it happens. And I can see that because money corrupts people to the ultimate measures. I mean, you want you don't want to believe in your heart that these people would do that. But money will corrupt people and they will do whatever they can to get it. And it's proven it's a proven fact of life. And we actually see that with the brother in law and the in -law family. So the brother in law and the brother, because I'm sure the brother was in on it. And that whole scene where he was like trying to convince her that he loves her and that they're like doing what's right. It felt so gross and manipulative and just like really disgusting because I was like, you don't care about anything. Like you have not tried to fight for these children once. Like all you care about is your citizenship. So the brother makes a deal with the government that if the kids go into his custody, if she never sees them, which she did not sign off on, they would get paid like 50 rupees and then the Norwegian government would get paid 50. And so then they're like swimming in all this money. And then I mean, that scene when she goes to the house and she's like, I just want to see my kids. Like, she's so excited. She like decorates her house, like, welcome home. And then she can't. Oh, my God. So sad. That scene was like really sad. And then when she goes back and then they like randomly have like a gang of people like warding her off. I was like, where did you all come from? Yeah, it was a little bit crazy. I mean, watching it, I was staring at it going, wow, you know, like. But you know what? It was their neighbors. And I see like, you know, so you got to figure they're in their neighborhood. So they're not going to depict her as like this great person. So the mother seems like someone that would be gossiping and said so I feel that she was telling them, you know, oh, she's abusive. She's this she's crazy. That's why we have these children. And so I think the neighbors not knowing came to their like their defense. We're like, oh, my God, you know, you got to get out of here because you're crazy. You're going to hurt these children. So, I mean, it's it's it's sick and it's it's just twisted. But that's I just I just see people doing this all the time. I see people turning people against other people because they can't. And it's it's power and they have the power. And if you're if you're already down and out, it's hard to get yourself out of that because like once people see you like that, they just it's like you're a victim and they just start attacking you, attacking you, attacking you. And you can't get out of it. I mean, you you fight and fight and fight. And it seems like you're fighting forever and there's never a light at the end of the tunnel. But if you don't give up and keep fighting, there is light at the end of the tunnel. And eventually she finds that light. She does find that light. And I thought the one scene with like the judge in the in when they're in the final courtroom scene in India and she and the judge is like, I want to see the kids and everyone in my chambers. And then he like like acting like the kids would actually go and like talk to him and like embrace him. I thought was so wild because his face is so shocked when they like run to her and they're all like hugging and like dancing. And then he's like, oh, maybe she is a good mom. And I don't know. I really liked I really liked the lawyer. I know that you said you didn't really like him because he came back to fight against her. But I think the government did that as a way to kind of like dig at her and dig at the case and be like. But I thought like because he was talking about being adopted, too. And I don't know, maybe he wished like someone like that, like her would fight for like him as a kid. But I think like fighting and seeing her fight for her and children like I do think he respected her and saw what she was doing and didn't believe like the slander that they were saying about her. Yeah, because there's a part in the movie where he's buying flowers for his adopted mom. I mean, he loves his adopted mom. He says it. He goes, I was adopted and I came from a great family that treated me well and did right by me. So, I mean, in his mind, the system isn't that bad, you know, so he doesn't see what she's going through. Like, I mean, he sees it, but he doesn't he never experienced it. So to him, when she's telling him all this stuff, he's like, no, it didn't happen. No, because because he went he luckily got placed into a good family and he wasn't neglected. He wasn't left to sit in a room by himself while the ladies cooking and the guys watching television, ignoring the children. So he actually came from a family that was caring and loving. And I think that's at the end and that gets to him is when he sees just how much this woman cares, how much she loves her children. And he finally embraces it and says, you know what? Yeah, I see it. And I think what was really important, too, was like he said he was like she would never trade her children for money and she would like never do this for money because they kept harping on the money. That was the motivator for the brother, the brother in law and the husband. So I thought that that was really sweet and really nice because, like like we said, money corrupts. And for her, she was uncorruptible in that sense because all she wanted was her children back. I think, too, there is a really and I think, too, there is a nice moment. And I think that if she kept losing the battle and then she gave up not saying that she ever would. But if she did, I think the final home that the kids were placed in, like where they go visit and she was like, you're a good mom, you're going to be a good mom. Like she's like comforting the adoptive mom. I thought that that was really nice. And I do feel like if the kids like maybe stayed in that home, it would have been like a good it felt like a good, like loving home. It felt like they really wanted kids, like maybe they couldn't have kids. And then they finally were able to adopt. And like, you know, there is like a good there is a good system and there is like goodness within it. Obviously, this is the horror side of it. And we do hear a lot of the worst side of it most of the time. Yeah, I thought so, too. I thought like the parents that were in that situation would have been good parents because, you know, she even says, please don't take the children for me, please. And she's like, but they're my children. She's like, you'll have children, but these are my children. I want my children. And you could see like the woman breaking down because she was getting emotionally attached to them. And, you know, sometimes there's people out there that can't have children and they have to adopt. And, you know, they are loving, caring people that want children out there. And, you know, that's the only option they have. And, you know, I think that's one of the situations that these people were in. And I felt like maybe they couldn't have children on their own and they got these two children and you could see that they love them. I mean, he had like a little automated car and stuff like they were going to be spoiled, like rotten. So, I mean, and one part I wanted to talk about was like, you know, them saying that the boy was autistic, you know, and he showed signs of autism. And it was kind of shocking to me, like the father was just like, no, no, no. And I'm like, you know, you should probably try and get these two child tested. I mean, if you love your child, then you hear that they're autistic, you know, and you're not doing anything about it. I mean, that's a reflection on them. And it was the father. The father was just such a tool. And like he has nothing to do with them right now. He has nothing to do with their lives. Like when this all ended here, he just separated himself from them. And like as a father, I could never do that. How could you do that? And I think that too goes back down to like how the husband, how like the father has been like never really cared about like her or his family. He cared about like himself and like having and like what having a family like met like status wise because he was like all about like, oh, I got this new job and I have this great position and I'm going to get citizenship and I have two kids and I like a wife that like takes care of the house. And like, I think that's like is very narcissistic. And like you can see that when he's like, when he just like abandons them. I mean, you can see when he's like actively lying in the court and then just hangs up the call. And then she when she pulls out the phone record and she's like, look at all these missed calls. I thought that was so funny. Like, obviously, like, but like, I think that speaks to his character and how he was never truly like invested in in what she was invested in and what she was invested in was like her family and the children. Oh, I 100 percent agree. I mean, there's one part when he fights the coworker, he tries to fight the coworker that got him in trouble in the first place. He doesn't fight the coworker because of like the child. He fights the coworker because of the problems the coworker caused him at work. And I was like, I was like, OK, you know, you need to get over this work thing because your children are being taken from you, you know, but he could never get over the work. He was like, you know, I worked too hard to get here. I worked too hard to get here. This is where I'm supposed to be. This can't happen. You know, and I was like, all right, listen, it's money, bro. It's it. It doesn't take the place of your children. I mean, it was for him. It clearly did. It clearly did. And like even at the end, like he wasn't even happy for like her getting their kids back. Like all he said was like, oh, I'll take care of mom and dad because like the brother is like, well, now I have no money. And he was like, OK, well, like, figure it out. Like, I'll take care of mom and dad. And I thought that was kind of sad because it showed that, like, even though like he I don't know. And then obviously it went on to make it seem like she raised the children on her own in India. But I don't know. It was it was a sad story. Obviously, if you're interested in it, watch it, do some research about it. It's on Netflix. I watched it on Netflix. The main actress did an incredible performance. I would say like this movie would not be as good if it wasn't for her because she really carried, I believe, the whole thing. Oh, I 100 percent agree. She did an amazing job doing research at the end of the movie. It says Mrs. Chatterley currently lives with her children in India. And that is not true. She lives a thousand miles away doing a job and she's about to move another 300. Her parents, her elderly parents are taking care of her children. But it's a job. So like at the end of the court proceedings, she probably did live with them and was taking care of them. But you know what? You have to work and you have to do a job. So she's out there making money, providing for her children. So, you know, props to her for doing the right thing and fighting and giving it 100 percent of her time to get her children back and not giving up. And like sitting out in front of that building for like hours at a time, waiting for them, just a glimpse of them. I mean, that was heart wrenching. Oh, my God. That was so sad. And then like when they would. OK, back to those evil blond bitches from the Norway, from Norway, when they would just like snicker and film her like, OK. She literally just told her that she could see your kids. And now last second, you're saying she can't. Like, you have to understand that you're not going about any of this in a professional or good way.
"Raising Conservative Kids in a Woke City" With Katy Faust
"Talking to Katie Faust, the head of thembeforeus .com, them being kids, us being non -kids, thembeforeus .com. So, Katie, the new book is Raising Conservative Kids in a Woke City. And what I was just saying to you off the air is that I believe, you know, when people say, hey, what's the answer? There is no answer in the sense that everyone has to be realistic about what they are able to do. Some people, you know, can move to rural Iowa, where the whole culture is helping them inculcate reality -based values, biblical values, conservative values. Some people can send their kids to wonderful Christian schools. Other people send their kids to Christian schools, which are frankly awful. A lot of the Christian colleges have bought into a lot of these woke ideas. So, each of us has to figure it out for himself. But you are saying, in fact, it is possible, at least for you and a few others, to have raised your kids with conservative values, traditional values, biblical values, in a genuinely woke city like Seattle. And that, to me, is delightful to hear. Well, it is. And it's actually kind of what Christians and parents are supposed to be doing all the time. I really do think, you know, what we've had for decades is we've had conservative parents who have had more kids than liberal parents have, right? And yet, somehow, all of those kids end up becoming liberal, or a lot of them do. And it's because we have not taken seriously the mandate to be the primary educators of our kids. And, you know, my co -author Stacy, you know, people will say, why don't you homeschool? And she's like, I do. Oh, I do. I outsource some of it to the public schools, but my husband and I take very seriously that it is our job to educate our kids, and our kids know it. And so, like, this is actually something that I really think is going to turn the tide. Why is it that parents and parental rights are so under attack right now? It is because it is the greatest threat to the woke machine. Parents are the greatest threat. If we are influencing our kids, if we are the ones that are instilling our values in them, the woke are not having children. They're having, you know, my woke friends, my liberal friends, are having zero to two kids. My conservative friends are having two to twelve kids. If we can actually raise our kids and instill our values in them, do you understand how different this country is going to look in a couple of decades? I mean, it's going to be a radical turnaround, but we have to be very serious about instilling our values. And it's not impossible. It is hard. And honestly, I think that one of the reasons why our kids have been given over to the culture is because we've thought, I don't have to do much. Cruise control, feed them, love them, which is all important. But it is a time for very purposeful training. Very purposeful training. You can do this.
A highlight from Epsiode 4 The Hobo CEO with Marnie LeFevre Founder and CEO of Fempire
"Hello, and welcome to the Hobo CEO podcast, where we're talking all things business and entrepreneurship, including the highs and lows with a sprinkle of neurodiversity for good measure. I'm your host, Shaye Wiesel, neurodivergent serial entrepreneur, personal and business coach, author, researcher, and most importantly, a mother to one beautiful little human being. This podcast is all about sharing the entrepreneurial journey, as well as tips, tricks and advice from my guests to help you become the business owner and entrepreneur you've always imagined you could be, and you definitely can be that person. But before we get started, I'd like to acknowledge the beautiful lands on which I live and work, the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. And I pay my respects to elders past, present, and to all First Nations people that are listening today. So let's get started. I'm so thrilled to have Marnie on the show with us today from Fempire, who is an amazing coach, but also for me, a huge mentor of mine. And I'm so privileged to have come across Marnie in the last six months in my business journey of transitioning from a not -for -profit social enterprise into a for -purpose company. So welcome to the show, Marnie. Thanks, Shaye. It's really beautiful being here. As I was saying, it's been such an honour, really, to have met you and to have been able to be welcomed into the Fempire and the sisterhood of supporting each other. And I think the last seven years has been quite lonely in a lot of ways as a business designer. Even though I had a board around me and I've had lots of volunteers, there hasn't been a real connection with other women in business that I was really missing, actually. And I didn't think, didn't realize how much it was missing until I joined the Fempire. And so I'm really glad that you've come on the show today so we can talk about how important it is to have that network of women and that support around us. But before we start digging into that topic, could you just talk to us a little bit about your amazing background? I mean, of course, you know, I was blown away with the Richard Branson story because I'm dyslexic and he's a big dyslexic leader in our community. There's more to your work than that. A little bit. There's still a little bit. So could you please share with us? Yeah, absolutely. I, first of all, I get what you mean when you say it can be really lonely as an entrepreneur in business. And I certainly found that with when I first started my own business within about a year, I was feeling very, very lonely because it's quite isolating when you're a solopreneur and you're studying. I started my business from my closet with two young children. And yeah, one of the first things I discovered was how lonely, first it's amazing and you're following your truth and your passion and you're finally doing what you really want to do. And then you realise you get to a point where you're like, okay, now I'm, I feel isolated and lonely and I need people to bounce ideas off and ask questions off. And that's kind of how Fempire got some of its purpose behind it from, but it all started out when I was a stay at home mum. I started my working career, as you mentioned before, working for Richard Branson in marketing and sales, and I then went on to work for other large corporates like British Telecom and others, I won't mention, it doesn't matter, but I always had multi -million dollar budgets to spend on whatever I want and fly wherever I liked and do cars and blah, blah, blah. So I was living the high life, so to speak, in the corporate world. And I was young enough that I hadn't really hit that glass ceiling yet, but I did know that when I had kids or I was brainwashed into believing something, that to be a great mother I needed to stay home and raise my kids. So I quit my job with British Telecom at the time and I headed into motherhood and gave birth to my beautiful baby girl, went as far as changing countries from the UK to the US, as my husband is American. And yeah, I would take the kids to the park and absolutely hate it. If I had to watch another Wiggles video, I wanted to stab myself in the eye, but I dispelled that. That hasn't changed. No. The Wiggles are a great brand, entrepreneurial brand, but no, yeah, Mashed Potato, Mashed Yeah, so it was a very difficult reality to face and I was very bored and lonely and frustrated. But I just kept telling myself, this is what mums do. This is how we need to behave and be to raise our kids, be there for our kids. So me being miserable and not really following my truth all came to a head when we had fires in San Diego. So we were in San Diego at the time and we had the kind of fires that we have here in Australia and Queensland. They're just out of control, devastating, about 250 homes were burned and we didn't live near the fire. But when you walked out of my front door, you'd put your arm in front of you and not see your hand. So the smoke was thick. So I remember hearing on the radio, if you have kids under the edge of one, you know, that might have respiratory issues, you should probably get out of San Diego. So son my was six months at the time, we had low level asthma in the family, so I decided to pack up the kids in the minivan, which by the way, Shay was another low in my lifetime. Very convenient, but not sexy, a bit like breast pumps. Anyway, they pack the kids up in the van and started to drive up to my friend's house in San Francisco. It was in the middle of the night because that's, you know, when the kids had slept and I hadn't slept for years. So I was happy driving through the night. And I saw as I went through LA fires on the ridge on the hill because LA were having horrendous fires as well. And I was driving along in this 10 lane freeway and the kids were asleep in the back and my vision started to go. And I had no idea what was happening. I thought it was food poisoning, you know, my stomach was upset, you know, I could see shapes past flying and sort of the only so, you know, of course, who were the first people I thought of? That's my two kids in the back. So I'm like, OK, well, I just have to get my kids to the side of the road. And I don't know if my vision, my thinking was that clear, but, you know, I just put my indicator on and started to gradually move over with horns and it's all very blurry now, to be honest, but made it to the side of the road, sort of opened my door, threw up everywhere. And yeah, I then the policeman turned up in the fight because in America you call 9 -1 -1 and everybody turns up and the firemen weren't busy enough, right? So, yes, I the the policeman turned up firemen in an ambulance and I ended up being taken off in an ambulance. And as they were loading us into the ambulance, my son was still asleep, as most men are through some major female dramas. Sorry, guys. I'm just joking. But but my little daughter was there and she was three years old at the time. And I remember they had given her a tiny little teddy to hold on to. And I looked over at her, I was strapped into the gurney and the first time I'd ever been taken in an ambulance or and she looked at me and she put a hand on my leg and she said, it'll be all right, Mummy. And I remember thinking in that moment, you know, what am I doing? You know, these choices that I'm making, I've literally put my kids' lives in danger, my own life in danger, I'm unhappy, I'm unfulfilled, I have no purpose. And I'm showing my daughter how to do the same, which was devastating to me. I thought this isn't what I want for her. If she told me how I was feeling, I'd be like, changed, go do something different. So that was a wake up call for me. And I decided, you know, once I sort of got myself back together, you see, Jay, I'd had a panic attack. It wasn't any bizarre disease that I just unintentionally caught whilst driving past a delay. I had had a panic attack. It culminated in, you know, starting to lose my vision and the rest of it. And it certainly happened in the wrong place, but it was enough to give me that slap in the face really to say, okay, something's got to change. So I went on to start, you know, long story short, I then went on to start my own business. I was in marketing and design. And so I could do graphic design. So I launched an agency literally from my closet. And I built that agency from my closet to a studio we built in the backyard because I still wanted to be very available for my children. And then we grew it into corporate offices. And then at some point, we sold it. And then I grew several other businesses all over the planet. Because I kind of hit this business building formula that if I just followed the bouncing ball of the formula that I hit, then most of the business would be successful. Sometimes they wouldn't because you can't always, you know, predict market conditions or you don't have enough investment to actually make it fly. But enough was successful that, you know, I got to a point in my life where I was like, okay, what now? What do I do now? And that's when I went into coaching and mentoring. And from there, I remember when I had had business coaches as a young mother, I just didn't get the help that understood me. I got help from middle aged white men, you know, lovely men that are trying to make a difference. But you know, when you're standing there with a kid puke on your shirt, and they're telling you you just need to suck it up and hustle, didn't really resonate, shockingly. So, so I ended up sort of discovering that women just needed to be coached differently when it came to running your own business and that we didn't need to conform to the way our grandfathers structured a business environment. And we didn't need to and we needed to talk about things like, how do we manage kids and all these extreme responsibilities that we still have and yet try to grow their successful businesses. Our failure rates are just massive, because we have so many responsibilities on top of, you know, which men just don't have, you know, intentionally or unintentionally, they just don't have, they have other problems and other pressures. And there really was no program and no help, not really out there for women in general to get their businesses from a female perspective off the ground still as powerful, still incredibly authentic, but to women, so that the women that I started to work with weren't feeling guilt and mother's guilt, God there's one, or frustration because, you know, people were trying to fit them into a nine to five box or any of those things, or gosh, I should be raising my family and not worrying about this business passion that I have. So yeah, I launched FEMPAR after that, and now we train women business coaches like you, who have had experience as business owners and know what it's like to teach a female focused way of, you know, creating a business that has impact and passion and all of the things, as well as you do it on your own terms as a woman and around all the demands that you face. And we also sort of show you, the sisterhood is great because it helps you to not feel alone and not really think you're going crazy and just have that support, like it's okay, you know, things feel hard now, but they will improve, I promise, and just a nurturing vulnerable environment is what women need to succeed. And that's what we've tried to create at FEMPAR. And I think we've done it, but I guess time will tell. So yeah, I thought that was a long story, but yeah, that's my story. No, it was great. And even though you said it was the wrong, getting unwell on the freeway was the wrong timing, it was the right timing from the universe's perspective, I guess. Oh yeah, well being in a van was not the best timing to have a panic attack night. But I obviously needed that huge kick up, because I wasn't listening to my inner intuition. I wasn't listening to that higher voice that says, you know, you're unhappy change, that you don't need to feel this way. I was listening to the collective community of judgment that not only men have for women who are mothers, but women have too. So yeah, I needed that big scare to actually change. And so I hope everyone listening now takes my story into account and says, right, I'm not going to wait till I get into a scary situation. I'm actually going to change now. Yes, because the body tells us constantly. We have to listen to it. Your body is your greatest teacher. It stores all of your memories and all of your pain and all of your learnings and all of the things. So yes, when you're not listening to that, you're doing yourself the greatest disservice possible. Yes, it's amazing how often it's talking to us and we don't listen. But I was thinking about when you were talking about having puke on your, baby puke on your top and men telling you what to do, I was sitting there the other day and Ava had weed everywhere because we're trying to toilet train and then you're about to go into a meeting and I just stopped and I thought, how do you manage, how do you just, how do we transition from pee all over the floor and then you've got to walk into a meeting and there's crap everywhere. And I think, oh my God, sometimes I wish I wasn't working from home because you could just, you don't have that, that intensity of family life and your office. Yeah, that is the tough juggle. That is a really tough juggle. I remember being in important meetings and, you know, my kid would come crying into the room. Actually, I'm working from home today, so my dog is likely to bark at any time, but my kids are grown up now. But yeah, we just don't, but I think women are great at embracing that sense of understanding that we cannot control everything. Women are more, so if I was to talk about masculine and feminine energy and the energies that we sit in, I talk about this a lot, you know, when I'm speaking from stage or talking to entrepreneurs, female energy, you've got to think about as curved lines. So if we were following a map, we'd be taking the scenic route, we'd be, we'd be looking at the creative scenic route. And this is in men and women, feminine and masculine, and then the masculine energy is all those straight lines that control that. And we need those two to structure our business. We need that masculine energy, but what you're talking about is just the complete chaos. And that's when we really do have to sit in the feminine and just realise that there is no controlling the situation. The only thing that we have any control over is our mind. And so if we go into that downward spiral of, oh my God, this puke on my shirt or this wee on my shoes, and is, you know, ridiculous, and I have to step into a meeting, then sometimes we can bring the humour to it and just realise that, you know, as women, we're doing the best we can. And we choose to be home with our gorgeous children. And sometimes we're going to get puke on our shirts and wee on our shoes. And it's all part of life and business. There is no separation. When people say, how do you get balance? I'm like, well, it's all life. It's all messy. It's like a ball of string, just, it's just in moments, just separate your moments and realise that just because that moment in the bathroom with the wee everywhere happened, doesn't mean the next moment has to be as chaotic and out of control, as long as you put that first moment down. Does that make sense? Yeah. Is it also at all? I don't know. Yes. As you were talking, for our listeners, this isn't just a therapy session for me. It might sound like it. But as you were talking, it was making me think about the masculine and feminine. And I don't know, sometimes I think I'm fearful of sitting in the feminine space. I don't know if it's because I'm an older mum or I'm so, sometimes my partner will say just so fixated on trying to get the business up and running really well that maybe I'm crushing the feminine side a bit instead of just laughing and enjoying the chaos. I'm like, no, I've got to get into this meeting. I've got to be, you know, on point and I can't deal with this wee right now. And again, the humour of the situation comes up. So we always have to keep our sense of humour, but always sitting in, so you said always sitting in the masculine world. Maybe I am. That is, you know, people become afraid of that and they say, well, if I'm good, it's your, you said, I don't know if it's because I'm an older mum. It's not that at all. It's your conditioning. It's the same conditioning I was up against with, I must be a stay at home mother to have a successful thriving family. That conditioning says to us that we must sit in our masculine and be strong and confident all the time and control the chaos to be successful at business. And that is so not true. I mean, there'd be plenty of men out there saying, God, my life is chaotic all the time. The control, we do have a need the modicum of structure and control, sure. And you needed to just pull yourself together and get on with that meeting and do the best job you could in the moment that you had, considering you'd just been weighed on. But it's not, that's a perfection syndrome that you're running. That's a, to be a good female business owner or good business owner, I must control the outcome of everything that I do. But I think, and this is a great segue into what we were, I'm going to discuss today, which is authentic leadership. You have to even going into that meeting. So when I would have chaos like that, I literally would sit in that meeting going, listen, my daughters has just wet herself all over the bathroom floor. I just need to take a moment and then we can move into what we need to talk about, depending on what the meeting was. Because I realized that the more I just spoke about real life as a female entrepreneur and as a female leader, the more I would break those boundaries and then smash that judgment. And you know, people judge me, but I had a thinking, I cared, to be honest, Shay, it was tough, but someone's, somebody's got to do it, right? You've got to sit in there and, you know, in FemPy, we talk about having your period and how that affects your hormones, affect your productivity and your decision making and and menopause children and all, just all the realities and unfortunately that women are shamed for in business. So I think to be an incredible authentic leader as a woman, we have to call these things out. We don't have to make it about us and we do have to have boundaries, but the vulnerability of being in business and all the chaos that comes with that as a working mother or a entrepreneur mother or working from home or whatever your MO is, is just a reality of life that we've all got to stop burying to sound like we're good enough, because we're already good enough.
A highlight from Rising Auto Theft Rates: Urban Consequences and Solutions
"Well, you see how easy this is now. Now you look at how they move money around and how the in your face money laundering folks, this is what this is. This is corruption and fraud. Some of the Bidens are great at the money laundering part. They got 20 shell corporations, but guess who's getting the guess who's going to be controlling the funding to rebuild Ukraine. We pay to destroy it. And guess what? The Hillary Clinton Foundation gets paid the rebuild Welcome right. to the podcast. We are in the same studio today, which is kind of nice. So thanks again for downloading. If you're just listening, if you're watching or watching the clips, uh, thanks for watching as well. And just for a quick mention, so I don't forget, if you haven't downloaded our app yet, I'm noticing we're getting a lot of downloads and the cool thing is when the morning Mike's program is going Monday, Wednesday, Friday, I'm the, seeing the view count go up and up and up, which is awesome. So I know we're only, you know, we're still in the dozens. I'd like to get into the hundreds and eventually thousands, um, but it's a cool program. If you haven't listened to it, it's a quick 15 minutes to quick by morning, run down three days a week of the top five topics, three minutes each. Do a great job. They do an awesome job when we're, when we fill in the stuff. We screw the whole thing up. Yes. Yeah. We, we blow the whole, the whole, uh, the schedule, but, um, but they do awesome and they're funny. I love it. It's a quick, you know, down and dirty 15 minutes, top five items of the day. And now you get your day started off on the, uh, they, you know, I think on the right foot, they were saying this week, like, Oh, it's so negative all the time, but I think they're hilarious. They take the negative stuff that's going on, but of course the negative stuff isn't the news. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we're seeing. I mean, carjackings again, Rochester had another, you know, record night. I mean, it's incredible how that was going on. And so it's amazing is, is like the Democrats just sit around and watch this happen in every city and every city. It's insane. Yeah. I sent you an article earlier this morning about Philadelphia. Let's see. I can find it. It's, uh, not that it's anything out of, you know, anything that we don't know about, but let's see here. Philadelphia swarmed by alleged juvenile. Come on, come on. Juvenile looters targeting the Apple store, Lulu lemon and footlocker. Yeah. So, cause they're starving. They're starving. They just, just need a little piece of ham and some Turkey. They need clothes and food. That's, that's only fair. I mean, they, you know, and once again, I know we've all heard this joke, but footlocker is not missing one pair of working boots. No, no, all the Nike's, all the Nike. Yeah. Well, some of those Nike's, I mean, Oh my God. Crazy. You know, talking about like, you know, thousands of dollars for a pair of, thousands, thousands of dollars. I was talking to my daughter and she said to one, one of her friends has a, as a pair of shoes were $1 ,200. I'll never forget the most expensive pair of shoes I ever bought. We were just starting a business. This was like 30 years ago now. Right. Crazy to think. And I remember somebody told me that maybe my dad was like, you got to have a decent pair of shoes. Right. And so I went up and I bought a pair of Justin and Murphy's. They're like 120 bucks at the time. Yeah. The most money I have ever spent on a pair of shoes. Now boots, I've spent more money on since because boots are more expensive, you know, hunting boots. Well, there's a purpose to them. I still don't spend more money on shoes. Like I'm wearing like Skechers or like $40. Like some of these Nike's $500. You can't tell me you're running faster. It's different when you're going to go out and buy a pair of like waders or something. You're going to use them. First of all, you're going to use them for the next 30 years. Right. And there's a purpose to them, right? Like, okay, they're more expensive, but I can walk through the water with them. Right. But if I bought like, if I had five, 600 hour pairs of shoes, I'd be afraid to leave the house. I wouldn't, I wouldn't get off the carpeting. Well, they're targeting the Apple store here, Glenn, because they'll buy jobs. And that's the only way to get a job is to make sure you've got an Apple iPhone. So it'll be like Chicago. We talked about this the other week with, with, uh, with Mike Speraza, Chicago is now forced to open or, or just talking about opening, you know, a, a government run grocery store in the inner city because they've all that. Well, they're going to, so they're going to, they're going to, the plan is to fight the communism with more kind of communism, right? That's going to work really well. But could you imagine how inefficient, first of all, Walmart's pulled out, Costco's pulled out, all the stores have pulled out because now target, have you heard targets now closing stores across the country? So target is now going through and discussing all the stores across the country, liberal target, liberal target. They put a black lives matter that they ripped down the smash of the window. I thought that'd be some sort of a shield or that we're just going to put up this, uh, this plywood and we're going to spray black lives matter on it. Hashtag hashtag BLM. And we'll be safe as they rip it out and use that same plywood to smash the window with. It's pathetic. There'll be nothing left in these inner cities. The problem is when it starts to spill over into the, into the, Oh yeah. This is, this is where it gets ugly. Well, they want it. That's what they want. That's, that's why people like, uh, the governor of New York, uh, you know, Kathy, the ice queen, Kathy Hochul is, is, you know, they first tried the push for section eight housing in the suburbs because that was only fair. Yeah. Now they couldn't get that through because the people in the suburbs are like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now they're busing in illegal immigrants in the middle of the night. And I tell you something, if these Democrats like Mark Poland cars were proud of what they were doing, they would have a welcoming party at noon at noon, high noon. They'd have a press conference welcoming our newest community members off the bus so that the whole community could see these family units that are getting off. You got the husband, the wives, the two kids, you know, the things that we see in our country, right? No, it's not happening. They're bringing them in at two o 'clock in the morning. So nobody sees, they're all, they're all 23 year old males, right? Or 18 to 25 year old males. Some of which are from the Congo. I don't know about the, uh, you know, the, some of the social norms in the Congo, but I'm just thinking that maybe they're a little bit different than the Western world. I don't know. I'm just thinking maybe not. Maybe they're exactly like us. I don't know. But they're exactly like us. Why would they want to come here? Why are they aspiring to come here? I don't know. Anyway, it's a fentanyl fentanyl up again, by the way, there was another report. I think it was on a Fox news. Well, good for the Republicans. I mean, at least part of them, I should say good for the five or six Republicans that are the extreme right wing, according to the media, that's holding this garbage up. No, shut the government down, shut it down, shut it down until there's no more money. Take the money, go into Ukraine and send it to Texas, which they did right to the border, which they didn't do last time. Right. Kept it open. That's what do you need? What do you need? We're out of control. The founding fathers gave the power of the purse to Congress and the, and the Pentagon, the Pentagon goes, yeah, you know what? We're just going to exempt Ukraine funding from the budget. So ha ha. We just went over 33 trillion. If you go online and look at the clock, it's moving fast, right? So we're on our way to 34 or 35. Can you even see the numbers anymore? They just blur blur now. So, so fast. Oh no. And, and good news, by the way, we're refinancing this debt at 5 % now, not at 1 % or zero like we were doing. Yeah. It makes a lot of sense. Yeah. It'd be great. Yeah. The fence talk about keeping rates higher for longer. I don't know. They're not going to be able to do that. They'll be cutting interest rates by next year. Mark by where? And the number one reason I say that is because when you talk to every economist, I say, that's not going to happen. And they are typically wrong. So if you take the, it's like saying betting against the casino, it's like saying, you know what? I don't think MGM is going to make money in the sporting books next year. Ma, they're going to figure out a way to make money. They'll rechange the lines, right? Well, you, all you need to do is look at it and get a bunch of economists in a room and ask them where they think the market's going to be and then do just the opposite and you would be way better. Yeah. Pretty much that's usually the way to go. No doubt about it. So the, the, the, the Pelosi, we were talking earlier about the Pelosi stock trader. Yeah. You can follow online. Now, some of these folks, we did the game show game last week. We talked about the, uh, the net worth. I picked the poor ones too. They were like 23, 21, you know, $20 million. Some of these folks are amazing. I mean, really just, you know, the wizards of smart on some of these are just really, timing is impeccable up here. This is somebody who is selling some software that I'll track it, which you can, you, you've pointed out, you can get it for free online, but, but the, the numbers are really astonishing. This Democrat Senator sold her Aspen vacation home for $25 million. That was just after she sold her Lake Tahoe vacation house for $36 million. Well, by the way, why, why do they own these big $25, $36 million homes? Well, a big, big part of it is because the taxation of it, right? So a Feinstein who's telling you your ordinary income tax rates are too low. She's shifting that to a capital asset, which is going to create a capital gain in the future or no gain. Or no gain. I mean, they're 10, 10 31. This is why when Donald Trump looked at Hillary Clinton right in the eye and said, you will not get rid of the carry interest deduction and you know it because all of your, I use it, of course, all of her bigger donors donate money to Hillary Clinton. And this is exactly the truth, right? They will never get rid of some of these things. Like they talked about, we're going to get rid of the 10 31 exchanges. Yaha. Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah. So the big developer strokes a giant check to the, to the Democrats off the table. Let's listen to her success though. Amazing. A Senator sold her Aspen vacation home for $25 million just after she sold her Lake Tahoe vacation house for $36 million. Only two years earlier, Diane Feinstein has been a member of the political scene for 32 years and her salary is only $130 ,000 per 130 grand a year. Now it's more now. That's a little bit dated, but it's up, it's up to probably 180 now. But, but listen to this. First of all, if it was up to 580, you're not buying $23 million homes, $36 million homes. No, no, we're going to put in multiple homes. We're going to, we're going to put the Paul Pelosi onto our research committee. You make a million dollars a year. First of all, most of, most business owners that make that kind of money, they didn't make it throughout their whole life, right? They didn't start making a million dollars at 20 years old. They started making a million dollars at 50 years old and it took 30 years to get to that point. Right? So my point is, you're not at a million dollars a year at age 50. If you did it the right way, the hard way, and you did it yourself, you're still not affording a $23 million home, right? Multiple ones. Yeah. Multiple, multiple. Right. Those aren't even her primary residence. Those are her vacation homes. She lives in, she lives in California. Listen to this though. And it's, it's all of them. It's all of them now. This is a, this is from Nancy Pelosi, stock trader. Uh, this is a tweet, uh, a Twitter feed. You can follow Pelosi tracker is what it's supposed to track or underline or something like that. You'll find it. Anyway, uh, three weeks ago, sitting politician bet against the U S economy so far. He's been right. Tom Carper bought $45 ,000 of PSQ and inverse ETF on the tech sector on eight 23, August 23rd. Since then he's plus 3 % while the market is negative 4%. Go figure. Wow. Go figure. Man, these guys are so good. Yeah. And they're not by, they're, I mean, these are, that's some pretty technical strategy. You started getting into options strategies and stuff. I mean, yeah. Yeah. These guys have become very, very slick. It's not just about buying a, you see, it used to be, okay, I'm going to buy X, Y, Z. Then I'm going to vote for or against something. You know, I'm going to short the stock and then I'm going to vote against them for both that, that, that. So the stock goes down or I'm going to vote for something, knowing that it will benefit the company. The stock will go up and in a sense front running. No, they're, they're in the options strategies now. They're in the market. Yeah. They're doing butterfly spreads. Yeah. Crazy stuff going. They're very sophisticated. They shouldn't be allowed to two things. When you go into Congress, I, you know, I would love to have a Congress person run on or present around the following platform, right? Number one, term limits, term limits, top of the list. Number two, though, while you're in Congress for the eight years, or wherever we allow you to serve 10 years, 12 years, whatever it is, you could not invest in a stock market at all. All your investments are frozen or your choices, a model, some kind of a model liquidated go to cash, or you could buy the fidelity balance to counter. You could buy the, you could buy the T -rope price, you know, target retire, whatever, you know, or you go to goes into a blind something or other where you have no idea. Right. It just goes into what you picked a one through five tolerance for risk and somebody else invest. Maybe it's just broad indexing. Maybe that's it. Right. Something that doesn't allow this kind of garbage to go on where, you know, they buy, you know, Tesla stock and then approve a huge, you know, oh, we're going to, guess what? We're going to build a, you know, for government funded battery stations all the country. Of course, Elon comes out and goes, we already got those, you idiots. I did that like four years ago, you morons. Amazing what Elon can do and what the, what the government can. Going back to target for just a second, not to digress, but I found WGRZ, thankfully came up with a list of the, uh, the target stores that will be closing, Mike, the full list of locations all in, all in Republican run. You'll be shocked. Yeah. Yeah. Right in the, uh, the thriving, the, uh, you know, thriving, the Minneapolis, uh, location, the retailer said the decision, the close was really difficult. I wonder if that was after half. That was the one they put the BLM on. Yeah. Oh, that was the one they put the sign on that said, please don't burn our store down. We love you. I hashtag BLM lit it on fire. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Uh, let's see. I'm shocked though. I wouldn't, I'm surprised you wouldn't stay. I mean, you know, like just collecting, you love them. You love, you support them. This is what you supported. Remember you, you, you raised money, you gave money. Yeah. And guess what they did with that money. They agitators hired to whip up people in the community to smash and burn down your store. You idiots. So there you go. There you go. Nice, nice work. What else do you think, Mike? Uh, New York city's East Harlem neighborhood. That's going to be one that's goes down. I wonder why. Chicago, San Francisco for sure. San Fran. Yeah. San Fran. Uh, by the way, before I forget San Fran, Democrat San Francisco mayor, announces plan to require drug testing, which is good in an effort to, if you're going to receive homeless benefits. Right. But the funny thing was in this same passage, they're going to Texas to try to recruit police officers. The funny thing is is that the people they sent from San Francisco to try to recruit people. They didn't come back. They defected like North Koreans. Some of them got jobs. They get over the wall. They come out, they get over the wall. It was hilarious. No, they didn't go back. Well, the other five stores, Mike, three in Portland, Oregon and two in Seattle, five, three in Portland. They're pulling out of Portland together. All of these inner cities folks will be food deserts. You're going to hear that term. It'll be business deserts. It'll be nothing. Well, business deserts, nothing left, but there'll be, but target, don't forget target. Does target sell food? Yeah. Well, yeah. They sell food. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Well, I don't go on target. So Walmart I know does Costco for sure. Costco is a food store. I don't think target is as big as Walmart as far as like fresh fruit, but definitely frozen food, all that kind of stuff. You know, aisles of pop and water and chips and right, right, right. And all that kind of stuff. But you can definitely frozen food. You can buy bulk frozen food there. So, so there's going to be food deserts, all over the place, business deserts, whatever you want to call them. You know, it's amazing because you know, the, there's no policing. And the sad thing is that is the problem. It's not, there's no policing. I shouldn't say that. Excuse me. No, you're policing your asses off. I get it. There's no ability. There's no prosecution. There's no bill. You guys are arresting people, putting them in and they go right back on the street. They're getting, they're getting appearance tickets. It's a joke. Your point is no, there is no policing anymore because of the system, the Democrats put together where the police officers aren't going to bother. If you're a police officer and you know that somebody is going to be this, this carjacking or whatever is robbery. And you know that there's a potential, you're going to get an altercation where you're in New York state. There's two police officers that have been brought up on charges recently with almost a hundred percent chance that if you do catch that person, that person will be right back. Yeah. A hundred percent. Why would you bother? Why would you bother? You're not going to put your life in line. No way. You want to go home to see your wife and kids too, and your mother or your husband or whatever. You want to be able to spend your Christmas with your family. Why would you do that? And they know that, right? The Democrats know that. This is, you can't be this stupid. I mean, who allows these people to go right back on the streets and say, this is a good idea without correcting this right away. You can say, okay, bail reform. Our intentions were one thing, but when you look at the fact that in New York state, we are now breaking records in towns like Rochester and Buffalo for the most amount of vehicles being stolen. We can say, okay, look at bail reform, put it in place. It clearly did not work. It's been a total disaster. These towns have turned to shit. We absolutely need to go back in the other direction. They're not doing that. They don't care. They want to, and they're doubling down, tripling down on it, tripling down. We invited this liberal on, you actually were on the show with him and he said, things are actually safer since bail reform. That's what his argument was. His argument was, and by the way, his argument was if we have even less police officers, cities like Buffalo will get safer. Well the thought was less police officers, less arrests. Less arrests means less crime. Dude, you got the whole thing backwards, bro. And not only that, but now we know that, right? Now we know, now you can, I mean, literally auto thefts are up 360 % in Rochester. They're not up 3%. You can say, well, you know, in Buffalo and we're in second place. And they can't play, they can't play in COVID. They're trying to like, well, it was a lockdown. People were at pent up, whatever. Remember that was the, that was the reason for the rioting and the ballooning and burning like, well, people had a lot of pent up. We probably should have locked them down. That was a little bit of the reason for the increase in suicides. You guys, you guys increased suicides because you locked kids in their homes, but it wasn't the reason that they went and decided to steal Nike sneakers from a footlocker. So check this out. Speaking of COVID, this is huge. This is, I don't know if you saw this or not, but this is absolutely ginormously huge. Dr. Fauci was smuggled into CIA headquarters without a record of entry where he participated in the analysis to influence the agency's COVID -19 investigation according to the house select subcommittee on the coronavirus pandemic. Did he need to do much with these left -wing CIA agents? Probably not. No, no, no. That's what they're smuggling him in for. Well they smuggled him in because they didn't want anybody to know that he was part of the PSYOP operation, which was hydroxychloric. By the way, the I think it was a Mayo clinic and some other hospitals now have come out as well as the CDC and said hydroxychloroquine, yes, indeed is an effective treatment for COVID. Oh, by the way, ivermectin also an effective treatment. The CDC now approving that. Now mind you, we're going to keep in mind that if there was any other treatments that couldn't get the emergency use authorization for these vaccines that clearly don't work. Amazingly, I'm still seeing people online go signing off my sixth booster on our way for the sixth shot, proud to get our sixth shot. How about how about one the other day, local left -wing nut job got her sixth booster shot, six shot and she still got COVID and then she said, well, I was so good hiding and it got all my shots and then I went to a concert and I got it at this concert. Well, first of all, you don't know that, but second of all, if you have six shots and you six shots and you still got COVID and you actually think that was a good idea, you don't need a vaccination. You need a mental, you need a mental check. I tell you, I know people during the during the COVID, the height of the COVID that were older, some of our clients actually that were prescribed by a doctor a hydroxy quirk when they were taking it once a week as a as a preventative measure. Yeah. And they, to this day have never had COVID. Yeah. And it's, it's, I mean, so it, but the sad thing is again, you know, we couldn't, it's all about the money now. And that's, you know, when people talk about the evils of capitalism, you're seeing some of that. Now, capitalism is the best thing on the planet, right? As far as, you know, lifting the masses out of poverty and creating amazing amounts of wealth. But the problem is this isn't, this isn't capitalism. What's going on. This is cronyism is what's going on. It is, Hey, look at, I will give you these government dollars. You're going to get this patent. You're going to get this. Unholy marriage between business and government. Mark my word. We were talking about Feinstein selling 25, $30 million homes. This Fauci will be on the board of Pfizer. He'll be on the board of Moderna. He's going to get shares of those companies. He will be blessed with with with millions and millions of dollars. His family watch and see, we'll be talking if we're, if you and I are fortunate enough to be around 20, 30 years from now, we'll be talking about the Fauci trust and watch and monitor that trust and see how big that family trust. Well, you see how easy this is now. You look at how they move money around and how the in your face money laundering folks. This is what this is. This is corruption and fraud. Some of the Bidens are great at the money laundering part. They got 20 shell corporation, but guess who's getting the, guess who's going to be controlling the funding to rebuild Ukraine. We pay to destroy it. And guess what? The Hillary Clinton foundation gets paid to rebuild it. Right. And guess who's going to get the contracts to rebuild. Oh, that'll be probably one of the Biden family members or somebody else's politically connected. Right. Remember it was, it was a Joe Biden's brother who got the contract, the multi -billion dollar contract to rebuild Iraq. No building experience, never been a contractor, right? No idea. Right. This is why these projects cost 500 times what they're supposed to cost. This is why when money comes into Buffalo, for example, $25 million to build homes, five get built. And you were, wait a minute, five, are these $5 million homes in the East side? Each of those homes would have been built for a quarter million dollars or less. And yet where did the rest of the money go? And the, the answer is never, we don't know. We don't know. We can't account for it. Or we'd have no idea. Or I mean, how many times have we've seen that in so many places that whether right down the local level or God forbid at the federal level between, you know, Iraq and others. I was telling you last week on the radio, I was reading an article about the grants that were coming into the city of Buffalo to plant trees. And I thought, okay, wow, like this could be sweet. Okay. You know, like I'm a big tree guy. I love trees. I plant trees every year. I do think, okay, that's one way to, first of all, I think it's one way to make a community look great. When you, when you drive around, let's say North Buffalo, all the streets are all tree. They look beautiful. You drive around the East side, it looks like shit, right? So, okay. You're going to take some of my tax money and you're going to directly plant trees. Okay. It's a win for the environment. It looks nice. It's going to bring things together. I'm like, well, where's the catch? This is a government agency. Where are they going to screw it up? You read through and you find out that they're paying $1 ,000 a tree. Now you and I both know that if they're saying it's $1 ,000 a tree, by the time it's done, it'll be two to $3 ,000 a tree. Now you, you're talking about $13 million worth of trees. You and I just planted trees. Every year we plant a few trees around our office, you know, three, four in the spring, three, four in the fall, just so they can start to grow and work their way in. And then, you know, plant more. We pay $250 a tree, plant it. Right.
A highlight from Eric Diaz's Journey From the University of Georgia to Coaching Rising American Alex Michelsen
"Welcome to the official tennis .com podcast featuring professional coach and community leader Kamau Murray. Welcome to the tennis .com podcast. We are here with Eric Diaz. You remember the name? Eric is son of Manny Diaz, coach of Alex Mickelson, Werner Tan, and right now has his own thing called tier one performance out in the Irvine area. Welcome to the show, Eric. How's it going? Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. It's great to be on. Great to be on. So I interviewed your dad probably about 2 months ago. That was, you know, we were poking fun about him redshirting Ethan Quinn, you know, not choosing not to play Ethan Quinn later. You know he wins NCAA the next year. It was kind of like, what were you thinking, right? Yeah, one of those tough ones. Oh yeah, it was kind of like, did you think he wasn't ready? Was he, did he think he wasn't ready? Like, you know, you probably could have won NCAA twice. That kind of thing but you obviously came from good tennis pedigree. So, I guess the first obvious question was what was it like growing up with your dad being Manny? You know, because I, it's hard not to take work home, right? Let's just put it that way. You're a tennis coach and a child of a tennis dad. Yeah. You know, I don't know. I think anybody that's been in tennis for a long time knows it's kind of a lifestyle a little bit. You know, there's definitely being the tennis coach and kind of, you know, working toward things but it's also, I don't know, the sport takes so much of you that sometimes, you know, it just feels like, you know, it's second nature. It's kind of a part of it. So, I mean, growing up in Athens, growing up around Dan McGill Complex was always a treat. That was back when NCAA's were kind of always hosted in Athens. So, I got to watch, you know, all the college greats. I grew up watching the Bryan brothers get, you know, sadly then they were kind of pegging some of our guys in doubles matches but, you know, it was really cool being able to sit court side, watch those guys and then, you know, be able to watch them on TV a little bit later. Really cool. Really cool experience growing up. Now, from a junior career, did your dad coach you your whole career or did he hire private coaches to sort of teach you technique? Because I know, you know, coaching at a program like UGA, it is very demanding and sometimes the children of the tennis coach lose out to the actual players and the people who are paying. So, did he coach you? How was that? You know, he coached me. I think he tried to coach me but at the same time, he also didn't want to put too much pressure on me to like, you know, really play tennis and go in. So, he kind of let it be my own thing. I started, I actually went to Athens Country Club, great little spot on the outside of Athens. Alan Miller was the main coach there. So, he helped me out a lot. He actually, he was on my dad's first, you know, assistant coaching team where they won a national title. I think he paired with Ola who now obviously has been with USGA for a while. I think they played doubles and I think they won a doubles title as well. So, I think Alan was a part of the first team championship and then he was also, you know, he won a doubles title there too. I think he might have won two. So, I spent a lot of time around him which was also, it was really cool. You know, it was a guy who was a part of the Georgia tennis family. Athens is really tight -knit like that and so it's special to be a part of that family both, I guess, through blood and through, you know, the alumni. It's cool. Now, let me ask you, did you ever consider going anywhere else, right? I mean, successful junior career, one of the top players in the nation, tons of options. You know, it could be like, you know, there's always sort of the, oh, his dad's going to give him a scholarship, right? You saw with Ben Shelton, you know, Brian Shelton. Obviously, he's going to look out for his kid. Did you ever aspire to like go to another top program or UCLA or Texas or Florida? I think growing up, you know, because I got to see all those teams play. You know, I remember in 1999, I looked up this guy who, he played number one for UCLA. I don't know, this guy showed up. I'm a little kid and he had half of his head was blue and the other half was gold and, you know, UCLA was firing it up. They were really good at the time. I remember that was my dad's first national title in 99. And, you know, ever since then, I really, you know, I looked up to the guys. Every now and then, I got to sneak on to a little travel trip and, you know, I got to see what it was like. But, I mean, for me, it was always Georgia. I thought Athens was a special place, you know, getting to see the crowds that they get there and being able to kind of just see the atmosphere of everybody caring about each other. You know, it was cool looking at other teams. You know, the Brian brothers had the cool Reebok shoes, you know, the UCLA guy with the different hair. But at the end of the day, it was always the dogs. It was always Georgia. So, I was really lucky when I got to be a part of that team and I got to kind of wear the G that, you know, through my junior years, I was always wearing it, you know, but I guess it was a little bit different when you're actually, you know, on the team and representing. I think it's a different feeling. Yeah. So, if you didn't go into tennis, what else would you be doing? Like, you know, I didn't, you know, I'm obviously coaching now, but I didn't go right into coaching. I went to work into pharmaceuticals like marketing, sales, you know, finance. It's always, I always find it interesting to say if I wasn't coaching, I got my degree, I would be doing this. Yeah. You know, if I was a little bit more prone, I think to just loving schoolwork and loving studying, you know, everybody's always told me that I would make a pretty good lawyer just because I'm a bit of a contrarian. I like to argue. I like to challenge everybody that's kind of around me. So, I'm always looking for a good argument. So, I'll go with that. Everybody's always told me, you know, maybe you should have been a lawyer. You argue a Hey, lot. well, I'm sure, I'm sure your tennis parents, right? The parents of the academy probably don't like that one, right? They like to be in control. They have the last say and be contrarian. A lot of the time they do. A lot of the time they do. Yeah. So, you're sort of like stepping out, right? Out of the shadow and you're now on the west coast out there in the with Irvine area tier one performance and quite honestly, making your own name. I know you've had opportunity to coach Alex Mickelson as well as, you know, Lerner, Tan who are both like doing real well, both like main draw this year at US Open. Tell me about the process of moving way west. Yeah. And starting your own thing. Well, you know, it kind of started with, you know, I took that leap and I moved away from home for, you know, the first time because obviously being born and raised and going to school at UGA. I took my first chance and I went to Boise State and I worked under Greg Patton for a year who I'd heard great things about and, you know, all were true. He's a great guy. I thought it was a fantastic experience. So, I did that for a year and then over the summer, the UGA swim coach's son that I kind of grew up with, he was in Newport and so I kind of came to visit and then, you know, all of a sudden the opportunity to be coaching out here, you know, came about and, you know, I did my due diligence a little bit. You know, I looked at the old tennis recruiting pages and, you know, I'm looking at all the talent over the last like 20 years and, you know, statistically, you look at the list and you're like, okay, you know, if I'm in this area and I give myself, you know, the right opportunities and I, you know, learn how to coach properly, you know, I feel like I've had some pretty good experience from some good mentors. You know, then I kind of thought, you know, okay, maybe I can kind of control my own destiny out here a little bit and, you know, over time, it's taken a lot but, you know, over time, I feel like I did get myself some pretty decent opportunities. So, when you first laid eyes on Mickelson, how old was he? He was 12. He was coming out to some point place. It was the first place I kind of rented courts. It was this old rundown beat up club but beautiful. There were some trees there. Nobody wanted it. The courts were kind of run down and everyone's like, oh no, nothing there and I was like, I'll take it. So, you know, it gave me space. It gave me courts. It gave me the ability to kind of try and market. I made things cheap so I could get a lot of kids out there and try and get a competitive environment going and luckily, you know, had a good bit of talent out there where, you know, the kids kind of attracted the kids and I was this young coach, 23, 24 and, you know, over time, you know, people started to kind of gain trust and realize, you know, this guy isn't that bad. So, you know, over time, it kind of, you know, worked in my favor and, you know, everything kind of worked out. I eventually switched clubs to a nicer one and, you know, you move up. You earn your stripes. Now, when you saw him, did you initially see, you know, like super talent because he won our ADK this summer and, you know, it was full of Steve Johnson, Su -Woo Kwong. It was Ethan Quinn. It was other names, right? Kanee Shakuri. And Alex, okay, you know, he got the USTA wildcard. He's a young kid. You know what I mean? Like, sort of under the radar and then he wins the whole tournament in finals Newport on the grass like a week later. So, did you see it right away? Was he like a typical kind of 12 -year -old throwing his racket, having tantrums? What was he like at 12? Alex has always turned on tantrums. But, you know, when he was 12, he was good. But, you know, I'll be honest, there were a handful of kids out there that, you know, Kyle Kang, who's had a lot of success. I saw him. Sebastian Goresney, who Alex won doubles with. There were a handful of others and, I mean, Alex, they were, he was good. If I thought that he would be this good, you know, at this point, I think I'd I don't think I saw that. But, you know, you definitely see that this kid's capable of playing at a pretty good level while he's young. And then, you know, as the years kind of go and then as you sort of see him and his personality kind of develop, you kind of recognize, you know, this, you know, this isn't too normal of a 16, 17, 18 -year -old kid. And then, you know, sure enough, eventually the results followed, which was pretty fun to watch. Yeah, I mean, I felt it was interesting because he was here with like his friend. Yeah. You know, not even like a coach, trainer, physio, nothing. Like him and his homeboy. Yeah. He didn't look like he played tennis. You know what I mean? So, yeah, it was like, it was interesting to show up without, you know, completing against guys who are here with like coaching that they're paying six -figure salaries and who are scouting, right? And for him to kind of move through the draw, honestly, I mean, you know, maybe he split sets once. Yeah. It was actually really interesting. He's an extremely competitive kid. And so, you know, throughout the last few years kind of as we've traveled to some events and as he's gone to some like by himself, you know, the whole understanding is, okay, how well do you really understand, you know, your day -to -day process? How well are you able to, you know, nowadays, you know, with challengers, everything you can stream, you can watch. So, you know, both myself and, you know, Jay, the other coach that's here and helping him out, you know, we watch, we communicate. But, you know, at the end of the day, you know, it was one of those big decisions, okay, are you going to go to college or are you going to go pro? And he's kind of weighing those two things. And it's, you know, if you really think you want to be a pro, show me. And so it's one of those things, luckily, when he's young, you know, you have the, you know, it's kind of freedom. If he loses some matches, okay, you're young. If, you know, you win some matches, okay, great. You're young. So it's one of those things where, you know, we really kind of wanted to see, you know, what he's able to do sort of on his own. How well can he manage emotionally? How well can he, you know, create some game plans and stick to his day -to -day routines? And he, I would say he passed. And did he officially turn pro? He officially turned pro, yeah. Yeah. So I know UGA was going to be where he was going. I know he was undecided this summer, but UGA was going to, was there a little bit of an inside man kind of happening here, right? You know, I mean, you know, I think that, you know, I'll definitely say, I think he had some exposure to hearing about, you know, some Georgia greatness. I think that for sure. But, you know, I'll say it was his decision. Ultimately, I tried to not put too much pressure or expectation on where he was going to go. You know, I think Georgia has a lot to offer. So I think, you gone that route, I think it would be, you know, I don't think we can really fail if, you know, you're going and you're trying to be a tennis player and that's a place you choose. I think it's a pretty good place. Now tell us about Lerner Tan. I'll admit as a player that I hadn't had the opportunity to watch too much. I had not watched him in the challenges at all. But was he also sort of in the program at a young age or did he just sort of come later on? My partner actually, you know, kind of helped him when he was young because Levitt Jay used to be incorporated at Carson, which was kind of where Lerner kind of had his, you know, beginnings. He was a little bit more, I guess I'll say, you know, his talent was Federation spotted, I guess you could say as to where Alex was kind of, you know, the guy on the outside a little figuring his own way. Lerner was kind of the guy that everybody kind of thought was, you know, the guy. Right. And so, you know, it's been fun kind of watching him, you know, see his transition, you know, from juniors to now, you know, kind of becoming, you know, the top of juniors, you know, winning Kalamazoo the last two years and his transition. It's been fun to see. So, you know, I've seen a lot of him out of the last, you know, two and a half to three years. So it's been, it's definitely been a different transition. I feel like, you know, it's a little bit fire and ice there. You know, Alex is the fiery one screaming a good bit and Lerner is the silent killer. So it's, they're definitely different, which I think, you know, is pretty refreshing and it's kind of cool to see them both have success in their own accord. So tell us about Tier 1 then. So how many courts, obviously you grew up, I mean, like, you know, I started in the park years ago, right? In Chicago Park, right? And now I got 27 courts. But tell us about Tier 1 performance now. Where are you? How many courts do you now have? How many kids are you serving? Yeah, we're in Newport Beach right now, which is great. Weather's nice. We have, right now, we're running our program out of only five ports. It's not that big. You know, we take a lot of pride in just kind of being individually, you know, development based. I feel like if you're in our program, you're going to have, you know, a good bit of time from the coaches. You're probably going to have a chance to hit with some of the top guys. We try to be really selective with who we kind of have. Just because in Southern California, it's really difficult to, you know, get your hands on a ton of courts. There's so many people in tennis. There's only a few clubs now. You know, pickleball, even at our club right now, you know, pickleball is booming. You know, so many people are playing. It's keeping clubs alive, which, you know, I think is nice. But at the same time, I would love to see, you know, a lot of tennis courts and tennis opportunity. But, you know, it is what it is. Yeah, man, pickleball is definitely taking over. You see clubs getting rid of one court, two courts, and they think that it's not that big of an impact. But I mean, two courts really makes a difference in terms of being able to spread kids out, get them more time, get more balls and more balls at the time. But it's, you know, I think in tennis, if we want to fight them off, we've got to market better and we've got to grow, right? They're in this growth sort of stage and we're sort of stagnant, you know, so it's not like we're not leaving the club with a lot of choices other than to diversify, you know what I mean? Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. So, let me ask you that. So, you've obviously had two kids that are going on. What do you tell that next parent, whose kid's 14, right, may get to see learner Alex come to the academy and number one, they want to homeschool, right, or ask you whether or not they should homeschool or B, you know, whether or not they should choose to go to college or, you know, turn pro. How are you advising parents? Because I get the question all the time. Should we homeschool, right? Should we do whatever? And I always, you know, the answer is always, it depends. Yeah. But what would be your answer in terms of homeschooling to train? Well, look, I definitely think that if your primary goal is to be a tennis player and I think, you know, if you're an athlete and that's kind of what you want to do, I think there's a lot of benefit in homeschooling just because, you know, it enables you to travel. You know, if I get to the ITF level, you know, I need to be able to travel. Those tournaments start on Monday and they go through Friday. So, you know, if I'm in a regular school, if I'm a high school kid, you know, that's a pretty difficult life for me to be able to justify or to, you know, be able to get my excused absences and stuff like that. You know, we're definitely big. You know, if you show me a 14 and under kid and I feel like I had pretty good experience in this just because I saw a lot of kids from the age of 12 to 14, you know, I got to see an entire kind of generation out of SoCal and a lot of them were pretty good. You know, the one thing I think, you know, when you're 12, 13, 14 years old, I think the primary thing kind of for level, obviously it matters how you're doing it, but I think the primary thing is the repetition. You know, I saw a ton of kids where they had a bunch of practices and I knew that that kid probably, you know, had 30%, 40 % more time than some of the other kids. And, you know, sure enough, that kid is more competent at keeping the ball in play. You know, they're able, you know, they've just seen and touched more balls. So, you know, they're going to make more balls. I think it's a balance. I think it really depends on the parents. I think it really depends on the kid. And I think it depends on the environment that they'll be in if they are going to be homeschooled. You know, I will say that, you know, we've had a handful of kids kind of switch from high school to homeschooled and they're in our program. But I feel like there's still strong social aspects in our program. You know, all the boys are tight. They compete a lot. They, you know, I feel like they get their social, you know, they go to lunch. And just kind of our standards are really high. I think this past year we had five kids that graduated that all went to IVs. So, you know, it's totally possible whether you're homeschooled or whether you're in school, I think, to, you know, kind of pursue academic excellence. I think, you know, just because you're doing one thing and not the other, I don't think that that necessarily, you know, takes that away from you. I think tennis can open a ton of doors. And I think I kind of, you know, we've kind of seen that in the last few years. I've seen a lot more tennis kids choosing IV ever since 2020, I feel. I feel like the IVs have been pretty hot, especially for some blue chip players, which I think, you know, if you look prior to 2020, I think the percentages took a pretty drastic jump, which is interesting to see. Yeah, you know, it's funny, you know, in some markets you see people playing for the scholarship and in some other markets you see them playing for entrance, right, into the Princeton, the Harvards. And one of the myths, like, I think if you think about basketball or football, right, the better basketball football players are obviously choosing the SEC, right, Pac -12, whatever that is. But in tennis, you know, I think that, you know, your academics and your tennis have to be, like, at the top scale to go, just because you're not like a bad tennis player if you go to Harvard, you know what I mean? Like, the kid that goes to Harvard or makes the team probably could have gone to PCU, right, or Florida or whatever, you know what I mean? And so it is interesting to see the number of people who say, yes, I've spent 30 grand on tennis for the past eight years and I'm still willing to pay for college, right, because I got into Princeton, Harvard, Yale, etc. But I think it's a big myth where, you know, the United States is so basketball focused, we see Harvard basketball as, like, okay, that's everyone that didn't get chosen by the Illinois, the Wisconsin, the Michigan. And it's not the same, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's different for sure. So when you think about, like, the Ivies, right, you see a lot of kids go to East Coast and you think about, you know, COVID obviously changed something with the home school, you know, sort of situation. People who never considered that it was possible were like, okay, well, we've been living at home for a year and a half and doing online studies, it's not that bad, you know, they're more focused with their time. Did you see more people from families who you thought would not have done it try it post COVID? Yeah, definitely. I think the really popular thing that a lot of people are doing now is kind of a hybrid schedule, which I actually really like a lot. At least in California, I don't know if the schooling system is different everywhere else. I know it was different where I was from. But a lot of these kids, you know, they'll go to school from 8 to 1130 or 8 to 12. And, you know, they have their three hours where, you know, I don't know how they stagger their classes and stuff like that. But I know that pretty much every kid at every school in SoCal is at least able to do this if they so choose. And so they're able to get released around 12 or something. And, you know, they're able to be at afternoon practice and get a full block in. You know, for me, that still enables you to get the hours you need on court and to be able to maintain some of that social. And, you know, if you become, you know, really, really good, I guess, okay, by junior year, maybe you could consider, okay, maybe I should take this a little bit more seriously, maybe I should go full time homeschool. Or, you know, a lot of these kids are in a place where it's, you know, I'm comfortable with my tennis, I like where it's at, I feel like it'll give me opportunity in college. My grades are great. And, you know, maybe that person's a little more academically inclined. And, you know, they want to have a career and they feel like tennis is that great stepping stone. Which I think is a really cool thing about our sport is it just opens a tremendous amount of doors. I feel like if you figure out how to develop and be a good tennis player and how to compete well in tennis, you can you can apply that to almost everything in life. Yeah. So you talk about opening doors, right? When Alex or Lerner were sort of deciding whether to walk through door number one, which is college, or door number two, which is which is obviously turning pro. Right. How did you advise them? You know what I mean? If I say, hey, you know what? Take a couple wildcards. If you went around or two, maybe you go to college. If you win a tournament, maybe you stay out there. If an agency locks you into a deal, right? Then, you know, they normally know what good looks like and they normally have like the ear of the Nike, the Adidas, right? Then you turn pro. What was your advice in terms of if and when, right? Yeah. For those who ask. Well, they were both in different places. I'm gonna start with Lerner cuz he's younger. He actually, you know, did a semester in college. You know, Lerner finished high school, I think, when he was sixteen, sixteen and a half. And so, obviously, your eligibility clock starts, you know, six months after you finish your high school. So, for him, it was, you know, he was so young, he didn't really have much pro experience at that time. You know, he did great things in juniors. You know, he won Kalamazoo. He got his wild card into the men's that year and then, you know, he played a little bit of pro kind of and then, you know, that that January, he went in and and did a semester at USC which I think was a good experience for him socially. He had some eligibility problems which, you know, only let him play about five, six matches toward the end of the year which was kind of disappointing and then, you know, he won Kalamazoo again and so, you know, that was the second trip there and then, you know, by then, he had a little bit more exposure with, you know, agencies and brands and kind of, you know, the stuff that you'd like to see that'll actually give you the financial security to kind of, you know, chase your dream and pass up, you know, the the education, I guess, for the time being. So, you know, I felt like that was really the security was a big was a big thing for him. You know, prior to winning Kalamazoo for the second time, you know, he still had Junior Grand Slams to play. He wasn't playing men's events. So, for him being that age, you know, it was, well, you know, I'm I'm not in a massive rush so why not get a semester in and I think he had a great time. He really liked it. I mean, he he speaks pretty positively about the dual matches. He actually follows college tennis now a little bit more. You know, he will talk about some dual matches which I think is pretty cool and you know, I think it gave him some confidence getting to play for university, getting to represent, you know, seeing that university promotes you. I think there's a lot of benefits there and now, you know, he's got an alumni base. You know, people talk about all, you know, he's a USC Trojan and stuff like that. You know, you see it at all different tournaments. You know, guys are wearing a USC hat and, you know, hey, learner, da da da and you know, I think that that's pretty cool to be a part of, you know, a big family of people who are proud that, you know, they can say they played in the same place and then Alex. Alex was, you know, he was a little old for his grade and he was one that he committed and, you know, the whole time him and learner kind of, you know, talking and, you know, about going pro and da da da da. You know, obviously, it was their dream. You know, I just kept telling Alex, you know, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it until, you know, it's a real problem and so, you know, he gets to 400 in the world and, you know, it's what you do. You get to 400. You know, it's good but at the end of the day, you know, you're not, your life's not changing because you're 400 in the world. You know, so he's 400 in the world and he's, you know, saying stuff to me and I'm like, I could not care less you're going to college and then it was, you know, this was probably in January, February, you know, he starts to kind of do a little bit better and I think at that point, I recognized that he was better than a lot of the guys kind of at the challenger level. You know, just from my perspective, I was seeing kind of what it was, what it was to be 300, what it was to be 200 and I think at that point, like February, March, I fully knew that he was good enough to be there and to be winning those matches but at the same time, you know, having financial security, having set, you know, all of those factors that kind of go into whether I'm going to pass up my education and go pro. You know, it's a big decision and so I remember we were putting it off. I just said, you know, nothing till US Open. I was like, we're not, we're not talking about college till US Open. I said, you know, when we get to US Open, you finish US Open, you have that exposure, you know, we see what happens in those two weeks and then, you know, then we'll kind of make a decision but until then, like, don't even think about it. Don't talk about it. Don't care. You're going to school and I think that mentality really helped him kind of just play free. He was, you know, I'm not playing to go pro. I'm trying to do my job in school, finish my high school. I'm going to tournaments, playing great, just trying to compete and, you know, lucky for him, you know, well, I guess it's not lucky at all. That kid worked his absolute tail off but, you know, he had that success in Chicago at your club and then, you know, he made that little Newport run and I think by then, that was his third or fourth former top 10 win and, you know, he won his challenger. He final the challenger. He'd semied another one. He had kind of shown and, you know, some people have gotten attention and they started believing in him and so then, you know, that's when that big decision kind of came but I feel like for him, he really established himself, improved himself amongst pros which I think is an interesting thing because a lot of the time when you see these juniors kind of go pro sub 18, a lot of the time, it's because they had tremendous junior success which then made them, you know, they had grand slam success and stuff like that but Alex didn't have any of that. You know, Alex was kind of the late bloomer that, you know, in the last year when he was already 18 and aged out of ITF, the kid really just took it to a new level and, you know, I think he really showed that he's kind of ready for what the tour has to offer.
A highlight from Ep379: The 5 Fs Podcasters Shouldn't Neglect - Jerry Dugan
"Be consistent with who you're speaking to, what you're posting off. Still show yourself and be a guest on other shows, especially if the show is like yours, because those listeners will also want more and more variety and they'll come to you for that. Most hosts never achieved the results they hoped for. They're falling short on listenership and monetization, meaning their message isn't being heard and their show ends up costing them money. This podcast was created to help you grow your listenership and make money while you're at it. Get ready to take notes. Here's your host, Adam Adams. What's up, podcaster. It's your host, Adam Adams. And today I'm joined with Jerry Dugan from Beyond the Rut. And Jerry's passionate about supporting business leaders, helping them with different things like work -life balance. So one of the questions that I'm going to ask, does work -life balance even exist? Because I'll tell you it's very polarized. On one end, everybody's like, you have to balance, you have to balance. And then I read this other book that said, no, it's not balanced. It's switch tasking. You go here all the way, then you go here all the way. And then there's other people that say you have to be out of balance for a certain amount of time. So I'm really curious just to start there. Jerry Beyond the Rut supports people with a life worth living in faith, family, and career. So a lot of the listeners that you have are probably around my age and your age that are probably struggling with the work -life balance and making sure that they are putting enough to their faith and their family and their career. And I love that. I want to ask, why do you think work -life balance is real? And what have the other people said? Yes, ultimately, I think they're all saying the same thing. Like if you really break down to what, like, even the folks that say there's no such thing as work -life balance, what they're ultimately saying is like, we make life choices based on our priorities. And when I talk about work -life balance, I'm saying the same thing. One of my hope is that when you're on your deathbed, I already know you're not going to say, man, I wish I did one more launch of my program or man, I wish I was at inbox zero more days in my life. You're going to say things more like, I wish I had one more day to spend with my grandkids and my great grandchildren. I would have loved to have been there for my daughter's wedding or for my son's wedding, whatever it is. And in serving in combat and knowing some folks who worked in hospice care, that is the thing that they hear over and over again, that people wish they had more time to be with the people they love and on the flip side, when they have the people they love, they wish they succeeded more in their career. And so it's like, what if you could win in all of that? What if you could take your career as far as you can and not sacrifice your family at the same time? And so you look at what's important to you and how are your current activities impacting those areas of your life? How are you doing with your family life? You know, okay, work's taking a lot out of me. Okay. Is that a permanent thing or is this a temporary thing? If it's temporary, then you talk it over with your partner and you decide from there, like, okay, yeah, this is temporary. What's the deadline? What does success look like? And what's the bailout trigger that says, all right, we're not hitting these measures doesn't look like we will let's scrap that and go another direction. So that to me, that is why I'm a big fan of work -life balance. It's not just strictly. I spend so many hours at work, so many hours at home. It really is. How is getting out early impacting all the things? Am I going to miss my children's big school events? What's that impact if I do? And what's the message I send? Because I'll tell you from personal experience, I was a lot of kids, superheroes, because I would volunteer my kids' school for a day and their dad had to go to work and it's not the same thing against their dad, because why did the dad go to work? Because he wanted to provide for his family. And so the motivation for a good thing for the family was there, but there wasn't that balance to, I also want to communicate to my child that my child is important. I want to communicate to my partner that she's important. And so it's, how do you win at all those things? And how do you find the right company that will support you as a person while also supporting you and your career growth and getting you to perform well to help the company also succeed? It's like, there's a way to find all that. I want to hear a tip or two. And I'm thinking you and I talked a little bit about this before we first press record. You were talking about the checkbox and a lot of us, we got a checklist and we're checking off all the boxes and it's seems like we're checking off all the boxes. It feels like when we look at the checklist, it's pretty much full, but we might not feel fulfilled even at the expense of checking off lots of boxes. So if that's us, we're listening and we're trying to think of what is it that we think we've had success on paper, but we don't really feel it. We don't really feel like we're everywhere we need to do. What's one or two tips for the listener to be able to feel like they're doing the right thing right now? I think the first thing is you got to know who you are and that's the big broad umbrella piece of advice. Know who you are, what is valuable to you? Like, what do you believe in? What do you not believe in? It's if you believe in respecting the dignity of every person, then that is key. If you value time with family, then your calendar should reflect that. If you value being a supportive person for your family, does that go beyond just monetary support? And so knowing your values, I think is very huge. What is your vision, your purpose in life? I have a couple of mottos I live by. One is the Dugan crest motto. So somebody around the 1500s and it's a miracle that the Dugans are still around because apparently these guys called the Saxons came into like Ireland and almost wiped us all out, but like good Irish people, we stuck around. And so that's not important. The important thing is somebody added to the family crest. Oh man, it's by virtue and valor. So for Tute et valore, and it sounds cooler when it's Latin. I hope I said it right. So that's one thing I live by is am I living my life according to my family's crest motto, am I living by virtue? Am I living by valor being courageous to do what's right when even nobody's looking. But then from there, I had a vision that I wanted my children to live a life that was better than mine, but also be set up to be better adults than I was to have better successes than I did to know who they are and to feel comfortable pursuing their own dreams. Like that's in a written vision that I have tucked away on Evernote somewhere. So you got to have something like that. Like, what do you stand for? What is life like for you when you die? And I love talking about these things called the five Fs, your faith, your family, your fitness, your finances, and your own future growth or possibilities. Like looking at your life through those lenses, what does success look like for you? So I guess that's the second one is defining a second, Jerry. I missed an F F that I got faith. I got family. I got finances. I got fitness. And what did I miss? Emily, faith, finances, and fitness, future possibilities, future possibilities, always growing to be better today than you were yesterday. And then what's that future state of yourself you'd like to become. And so being a constant learner is that future possibilities. One reading books that are outside your usual norm, listening to podcasts that are outside your norm, being open to ideas that are not typically in your bucket or wheelhouse either a, to see how your own ideas and beliefs stack up, because sometimes like I myself had gone through life and realized, oh wow, I held onto this belief and I met three people who completely challenged that is my belief wrong or is it just not as strong as I thought it was, is there more context? I needed to add. And, and so sometimes I realized I was completely wrong about something. And other times I realized, oh, I was missing a lot of context here. I believe this, but only in this context, because I also believe this and my belief should not undermine somebody else's right to be who they are. And so it's like, oh yeah, okay. I can wrap my head around that. And I can be a decent person in my community that way. And so that, yeah, the future possibility is that a bit more unpacked, I should have put that in. Have you ever heard of, I think it's Gino Wickman and I hope I'm not wrong. And he wrote like three books. One was like, I'm going to just type in Gino Wickman. This is going to be the easy way. Then I'll sound so smart instead of dumb Gino Wick man. All right. So he wrote three books. Yes. Yes. What the heck is E O S he wrote traction and he wrote what it's not showing me the last one traction, what the heck is EOS and there's another one called rocket fuel. Okay. So these three books are interesting and it kind of is what you're talking about, but in more of a business category. And so I think this is really great to extract it and bring us to the listener in rocket fuel, what the heck is EOS and traction, ultimately what Gino Wickman talks about is your business should have a culture or have values that you all live by. And so it's interesting because when we look at all of the things that we can value, let's just pretend that I don't know the number. I'm just going to say that it's 20 values. There's 20 things that are good. And most people would agree with 18 or 19 of them. So one would be honesty, but at what expense are we going to be rude and honest? Another one might be politeness. Another one might be doing the right thing. Even when it hurts, you kind of mentioned your integrity. Even when people are not looking, am I going to be doing this with my family crest and everything? So the Gino Wickman also talks about like all of these things that we can value. And most of them are important to everyone. Honesty, of course, that sounds right, but not everybody puts that at the top of their value. Maybe they put discretion, maybe they put kindness above it, or maybe they put honesty above kindness and et cetera, et cetera, they might put doing the right thing, even when it hurts as one of the top values. And so in RocketFuel and EOS and Traction, Gino talks about how we need to build our team, our company culture around where all of us agree on these main values. Like we value making money, we value serving the client, we value X, Y, or Z. All of them are good, but which one is in the hierarchy? And so when I'm hearing you, you basically gave me two things. The first one is you got to know who you are. You got to know your culture. You got to know your values. What do you believe in? And you talked about by virtue and valor. What do you believe in? What matters to you? And then you focus on it and you bring people along. And the second one is a written vision. Like you actually write down the vision where you put in faith, family, finances, fitness, and future possibilities, and you figure out how are you doing these? How does this work for you? And you write it down because everybody's vision, like a fingerprint has to be different. Everybody's culture or their values have to be a little bit different, how they put them. And for you, you're saying a way that you can check off the boxes is to just know exactly what the heck the boxes are in the first place. Know which things matter to you and get rid of the rest. So you can really focus on those. And I thought that was really interesting because not only can we do it in our business, we can do it on our podcast. And as you've illustrated, we can do it with our family, with our own lives, our personal lives. So I thought that was really, really beautiful. I appreciate you going into that before we move on to anything, something that I missed or something else you want to share about being able to check off those boxes and feel really good about it, even that person who might be listening might feel like it looks like they're checked off, but they don't feel completely fulfilled. Yeah. Similarly to how business, they have their strategic plan that pushes them and they make big decisions off of that. Does this activity support the strategic initiative of this organization? And the answer is yes, they keep pushing forward with some adjustments. If it doesn't, they're like, well, then why are we doing that? Let's cut that out and let's restructure and reorganize. And it's cool to see that there are these business and even podcasting principles and practices that help us create a better podcast, create a better business, and we don't realize how easily we can just transfer those same skill sets into our very lives. And so it's the same thing. You know, how many people do we know who are physicians who hate being a physician? I can think of two or three or somebody who became a lawyer because the money was good and they quit being a lawyer because they realized that wasn't fulfilling for them or me, I left my corporate job because I realized I didn't want to start all over again and build something that belonged to somebody else and it was time to go after my dreams. So even my mom like kept encouraging me to become a doctor. I was a pre -med student. I'm not a doctor now because I did not do well as a pre -med student, but I realized later on it's because that was never my dream. That was my mom's dream. She wanted me to be a doctor. She wanted to be able to live vicariously through me and what she wanted success to be, and once I realized, Oh gosh, I don't want to be a doctor. What do I want to be? Of course, now it took a 10 year journey for me to realize what I did want to be, but I got there, man. That's that's important. So anyway, that was it. Yeah. You're willing to walk away from something really good stuff. I want to move into just your podcast journey now for the listener. I'll point out a couple of things that I'm seeing with your podcast. Hey, I think it, haven't you been doing it for like eight years? Yeah, this particular year, eight years. Yeah. Amazing. So with eight years, over 400 episodes and a lot of traction, not going back to Gina Wickman, a lot of traction on your podcast success, I think that we've got a couple of listeners that haven't quite been doing it for eight years, they may have been doing it for a year or two, they're new. And they would like to have the type of success that you've got with your podcast. So I'm like to get a couple of takeaways, what you've done, what you've learned, what you would do differently. First, a quick word from our sponsor, but when we get back, I really want you to focus on what made your podcast successful so that the listeners podcasts can also be successful. We'll be right back. Hey, my friend, as you know, this episode is sponsored by my company, growyourshow .com. We want you to be able to have the best tools at your disposal without costing you a whole arm and a leg. So right now you can get a free list of vetted equipment that like mics, mixers, webcams, sound treatment, editing software, everything that you need. I created the whole PDF with direct purchase links, just to save you time and money to help it be more convenient for you. So this free PDF will help you skip all the guesswork. If it's on there, it's vetted and approved by yours truly. And if it's not on there, it's probably not worth the money. So go ahead and get yours at growyourshow .com forward slash PDF. Let's get back into the show. We're back with Jerry Dugan. And we've talked a little bit about work -life balance, helping leaders with work -life balance, making sure that you're checking all the boxes and feeling fulfilled and the five F's and his family crest, which I don't even remember what it said in Latin. I think it was Latin, but it really means by virtue and valor. And I wanted to talk about now, how is his podcast so fricking well known and he's doing a great job. He's getting a lot of success through the podcast. And hopefully you'll be able to take away a couple of things that can support you in a successful podcast as well. Jerry, what do you think made your podcast? Yeah, a lot of what I'm seeing really is in the last year, year and a half, really. So I jokingly tell folks, but I'm not joking that it seems like I did year one, seven times, and then finally I had year eight happen all at once. So it's no overnight success kind of thing. I think the first thing that really helped was when there was a team of three of us. So we started off with three of us. We all agreed on one thing other than the name of the show. And that was the avatar of the show. So we have an avatar that we named AJ. He's 35 years old, married to his college sweetheart. He has two kids that they both have together. One's in elementary school. One's in middle school. AJ has a mid -level leadership career going on with a corporation in a metro area. And got the car, got the house, got the six figure income, but feels stuck in life. And so from there, we start to unravel how AJ feels stuck. There's the commute to work. There's the no real future in the job he's in. Not really making any progress. Wants to be a good family man when he gets home, but he's just drained of energy. And this cycle is putting a strain on his marriage. The kids feel like he doesn't love him, which is so far from the truth. So how does AJ live the life that he really wanted to live in his faith, in his family, in his fitness, finances, and his future? And so that's what we did when we came together to start the show. Now where we had a lot of weak spots, and I feel we did the first seven years over and over again, was that when you listened to the early episodes, we were all over the place, we didn't really stick to that mantra. Like what does AJ really need? And I hate to say it, but it wasn't until like the other two guys quit from the show that I realized, Oh, we're so far from what we wanted to do, who we wanted to help. And so how do I get there? And so year six, really going into year seven was how do I niche this down? I worked with a couple of different groups that really helped me start to niche that down. Jerry, you're helping specifically this demographic. You're helping them specifically with things like work -life balance and really having a mapped out future or a vision for their future focus on that. Okay. What kind of guests should I have? And so this kind of leads into the second one, which was that pairing down that niching down. So the first one was having that vision of who I wanted to help. The second one was really paring down and niching down. How am I going to help AJ? And once I started to see that a bunch of doors opened up and the third thing was I needed to get the word out there. So the marketing piece, I threw stuff out there for the first seven years, but really it's in this last year that I've been more intentional about it. The posts that I put out there on social media are aimed at AJ. The shows I appear on are aimed at AJ and you know, as that guest appearance on other shows, I think so far in the last 10 months, I've been on almost 70 other podcasts and to the point where now I'm starting to feel like I'm in alternate realities down. Like, how do I know Adam Adams? Oh yeah, I was on his show. All right, there we go. We talked about this, this, and this, or how do I know, Deirdre? Oh yeah, I'm here, here and here. It's just all that starting to overlap. But anyway, those would be the big three is know who you're serving. The second thing is truly niche down. Even if you have a lot of passions, interests, try to stick to one thing and just kind of lit little dose of yourself, sprinkle into your episodes. That way people know what they're getting when they come to your show. And then the third thing, I know I just said it. Marketing.
A highlight from Does Donald Trump Support A Pro-Life Agenda?
"Cable news, noisy, boring, out of touch. That's why Salem News Channel is different. We keep you in the know. Streaming 24 -7 for free. Home to the greatest collection of conservative voices like Dennis Prager, Jay Sekulow, Mike Gallagher, and more. Salem News Channel is unfiltered and unapologetic. Watch anytime on any screen at snc .tv and local now channel 525. All of the time he has to spend in core rooms really hurt his campaign because so far hasn't really hurt his campaign. Yes, I would have had another 22 ,000 votes. Are you saying you needed those votes in order to win? Are you acknowledging you didn't win? I'm not acknowledging no. I say I won the election. When we ask people how they feel about getting this rematch, they said that they think that means politics in the U .S. is broken. Now from the ReliefFactor .com studios, here's Mike Gallagher. Boy, we live in a broken world, don't we? The weekend was chock full of bad news. A Los Angeles County Sheriff's deputy was apparently ambushed as he sat at a red light. Somebody assassinated him. They pulled up next to him and shot him in the head. A video was released of two kids in Las Vegas murdering a retired police chief, a guy on his bike out for his morning ride in Las Vegas. These two kids thought it would be funny to mow him over to kill him and they did. According to Charlie Kirk, one of the two perpetrators is right now free. They don't even have both of them behind bars. The two punks, the two cowards, the two monsters who murdered this guy in cold blood. And also, of course, we might as well get this out of the way. We got President Trump with an answer to Kristen Welker on NBC's Meet the Press and her debut as the new host, which gave a lot of ammunition to Trump haters who want to hurt him and try to wreck his chances of becoming the nominee in 2024. This is an interesting dilemma that Republicans have. Here's the dilemma. Pro -life is a centerpiece, is a foundation of the Republican Party fighting for the sanctity of those unborn babies, the sanctity of their lives, the sacredness of the innocent. That's a centerpiece, that's foundational for the Republican Party. And whether we like it or not, this particular debate that we're having in America is over abortion crushing us at the ballot box. And Donald Trump, I believe, was trying to address that with Kristen Welker on Meet the Press. Let's get it out of the way. I've been dreading this all weekend. Well, it wasn't all weekend. I mean, this first broke, I think, Saturday. They gave a little preview of his answer. I don't love his answer, but I also don't love the way Trump critics are pouncing on him, claiming he's not pro -life. I got into a big knockdown drag out, as I expected I would with my friend Mark Davis in Dallas, because Mark is now hell -bent on proclaiming that Donald Trump is not pro -life. And he's saying that because of this exchange with Kristen Welker yesterday on Meet the Press. So for the first time in 62 years, I'm not going to say I would or I wouldn't. I mean, DeSantis is willing to sign a five -week and six -week ban. Would you support that? I think what he did is a terrible thing and a terrible mistake. But we'll come up with a number, but at the same time, Democrats won't be able to go out in six months, seven months, eight months and allow an abortion. Now, there are people like my friend Mark Davis who took that answer and that proclaimed Donald Trump is not pro -life, like it's important to proclaim or make some kind of declaration that he is not pro -life. And here's what Mark tweeted over the weekend. The heartbeat bill is, quote, a terrible thing and a terrible mistake, unquote. Mark said, I loved every day of his presidency. Thank God he beat Hillary. And if he's the nominee, I'll walk through fire to help him beat Joe Biden. But Trump is not pro -life. Now, as expected, Mark and I had a pretty solid disagreement only because I believe it's ever a ten the march for life. The guy who promised to get Roe v. Wade overturned because that was terrible federal. That was a terrible federal ruling and appointed Supreme Court justices who did just that to claim that Donald Trump is not pro -life is preposterous. It's absurd. It's virtue signaling. And perhaps it's just the opportunistic way you chalk up some points for Ron DeSantis, because clearly Team DeSantis is pouncing on Donald Trump over this remark. I believe two things can be true at the same time. You can be pro -life and you can acknowledge that this issue is killing us at the ballot box and we're losing elections. And here's what Mike Cernovich, who's a conservative influencer on social media, here's what he tweeted or posted on X. He said, if you want to be pro -life, no exceptions, good for you. Lose every election, have no political power, then see what life looks like in a Bolshevik hellhole. Will you feel good because you didn't compromise as your children starve? That's the alternative. And I really do appreciate his point. I am pro -life. I'm proud to tell you every day about Preborn. I want you to support an organization like Preborn. I want women to see ultrasounds and see what that baby inside their womb looks like, because the chances are that woman is going to choose life. I have fought and represented the life movement for many, many years, but I'm also realistic enough to know that if we lose election after election after election because too many women are turning against the GOP over additional abortion restrictions, we're never going to have any Republicans in office to prevent more carnage against the unborn, because we may never win another election. And that's the dilemma. I truly believe that Trump was answering the question on Meet the Press with that in mind, that the reason he thinks it's a terrible idea is he thinks it's costing us elections. Is he pro -life? Of course he is. Was it a clunky answer? Perhaps. Should you want to score points by declaring that Trump is now somehow some wild -eyed pro -choice Democrat? I don't think that's fair and I don't think that's reasonable, but I'm going to turn it over to the smartest audience in America. That's you. Here's the PhD weight loss and because you probably followed this controversy over the weekend. I want to get your take on it. I want to get your reaction. I heard from my pal, Joey Hudson. A lot of people in South Carolina were shocked at what Trump said, very disappointed in his answer. Do you feel that way or do you recognize he is trying to navigate the challenge of winning elections so that we can continue to have the kind of pro -life presidency that he delivered? Am I wrong? 800 -655 -MIKE. Press one to come on air. Press two to leave a voicemail or text us your comments on the MyPillow text line, which is also 800 -655 -MIKE. 800 -655 -6453. And yes, I survived wisdom tooth surgery. Not too bad at all. I might have over -exaggerated a little bit. I know you're shocked. I was perhaps a bit melodramatic heading into the oral surgeon. Doing just fine. 16 past the hour in the Relief Factor Studios. Let's try to tackle this. Let's dive in. Okay. Head first. 800 -655 -MIKE. 800 -655 -6453. Left -leaning activists are attacking Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. Read The People's Justice Clarence Thomas and the Constitutional Stories That Define Him. On sale now from Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. A year ago, I was well over 50 pounds overweight, but I needed a simple plan that worked with my lifestyle. I found that and so much more with PhD weight loss and nutrition. I'm 53 pounds lighter than I was, and I feel better than I have in years. The program is super simple. Dr. Ashley Lucas and her team customize a plan for your body to make it simple because weight loss shouldn't be hard. They even provide 80 % of your food at no additional cost. They treat the entire person. Dr. Ashley believes that all change starts with the mind. She'll help you change your behavior and think differently about food and the way you eat. You'll never gain the weight back. Best thing about this program, they have an 85 % success rate of their clients maintaining their weight loss for life because they have a lifetime maintenance plan to keep us on track. And maintenance, best part of all, it's absolutely free. If you're looking to lose that weight and you're looking for a job, go to myphdweightloss .com today. Sign up for your consultation. Better yet, give them a call straight away. 864 -644 -1900. 864 -644 -1900. They'll answer all your questions. Tell them my calendar sent you. Call 864 -644 -1900 or go to myphdweightloss .com.
Krista Harkin's Working Mom / Fire Wife Balancing Act
"You're working full time, husband's working full time. You guys have two kids. Yup. How's the adjusting going at home? It's good. You know, I think once I finally accepted, and I would say I'll be truthful, I'm still not quite there, but like accepted the fact that I have to be really flexible, the more flexible one. You guys have always talked about the default parents and all that. And I never really thought about that until I started listening. And I think for a long time, I felt like this is so unfair. Why? Just because my work is flexible and yours is an absolute, why does this all have to fall on me? I feel like I'm moving backwards in my job. And then I feel like I'm frustrated with that and kind of disappointed in myself. And then I feel like, you know, as a, as a mom, then because that energy is kind of there, then I'm not being the best mom I can be either. It can be hard still, but I think I just need to get to a place of fully accepting this is what it is and fully supporting him and our lifestyle and getting a better grasp about it. We are getting better about it every week. So it's just figuring out the balance and also being positive and making sure that we're on top of our schedules as much as possible too, so that we're splitting all of our time where need be and also keeping our marriage strong, which of course, you know, everybody knows is effort in itself. So yeah, it's a lot. I mean, don't get it twisted. Like we're over here 15 years in still just like all the same things that you're having. No, I think, I think I've finally resigned myself to the fact that I'm just not going to work because it's impossible. I literally made that decision this year. I'm like, well, for what reason? Like for me. I know. I know. I mean, I shouldn't say this because my bosses are probably going to listen to this because they're the best and they support me. They're like brothers to me and my whole team is awesome, which is pretty much the only reason saying, but yeah, I thought the same thing. Like some days I'm like, why am I even working? Like, I don't even feel like I can give anything there because I just can't. The priority lies where my family is and they need me, especially. I mean, it's never going to change when your kids get older as you know, and I'm not there yet, but especially when they're little, they need me like physically and emotionally quite a bit. So, you know, I just have to put myself there and then work the best that I can and do the best that I can because it does matter to me too. It's really hard for us. I think as moms, because we feel like, like you said, I mean, we've talked about this a million times about being the default parent. It's one of those things where it's like, I don't know where in society. Well, I do a long time ago, they decided that the man works and the wife stays home and all of the responsibilities for the home life and the kids fall on the mom. And it's one of those things where it's kind of like, how do you get out of that? Especially when you are married to a firefighter or first responder where it's like, they can't work part -time. They can't decide what days they're working. You don't have the option to, you know, work your schedules and try to coordinate things all the time because of overtime and things like that. And it's very hard, especially when the kids are little. I mean, I stayed home for eight and a half years until my youngest was in kindergarten because I was like you where I was just like, I don't know how to do this. I can't be five places at once. It's not humanly possible. Right. And so I think it just leads women to believe that it's our job to take over all of the family dynamics. And it's just, it's really, really hard.
"two kids" Discussed on Northwest Newsradio
"Wife, and the mother of two kids. And I've got a good job. Bye mom, see you, mom. A pretty important job. Because of my family and my job, I really care about this neighborhood. It's a good neighborhood. Yes, there's some crime. And when I drive to work, like now, I realize that some people here don't trust the police. So the police should be reaching out to this community. And this community should reach out to the police. That's the way to make this a safer place. And when I get to work in the precinct house and put on my uniform, I can tell you, as a police officer, that this department is reaching out to the community. And the community is doing its part. We're building partnerships. This should be happening everywhere This is how we can all be safer. Get involved, start the conversation. Start the conversation and help stop crime to learn to find things you can do, go to NCPC dot org slash prevent violent crime, a message from the national crime prevention council and a bureau of justice assistance. Wake up and text text and eat. Text and catch the bus. Text and miss your stop. Text and be late to work. Sorry I'm late. Text and work. Text and pretend to work. Text and act surprised when someone calls you out for not working. Who me? Text and meet up with a friend you haven't seen in forever. Hi. Oh, hey. Text and complain that they're on their phone the whole time. Text and listen to them complain that you're on your phone the whole time. Text in whatever. But when you get
"two kids" Discussed on Northwest Newsradio
"Corridor. Then you see his mom running out after the car thief, but he gets away. Still, with two kids in the car, the man only drove the stolen car and the two kids inside about a mile away, mom's sister tells me that the thief parked the car and ran off the 7 year old grabbed her brother and found someone that she could ask to call her mom for help. Police are still looking for that man, Denise Whitaker, come on news. More rough seas for Washington state fairies than accorded Sydney route to Canada has been canceled until 2030 at the earliest, shut down since the pandemic, the focus is now shifting to domestic routes in Sterling is with Washington state fairies. And we've been able to do that for a panic order stand-alone islands, Seattle bainbridge, from buckle to Clinton for Edmonds Kingston and next up is the faunt Leroy bash on southworth route. We hope to get that restored this spring. A worldwide shortage of Mariners has led to staffing shortages and service cancellations. The aging fleet of fur ferries includes the telecom, which is more than 60 years old, a commercial ferry company were told could take over the Anna cortis Sydney route. Kit SAP transit is at the center of a discrimination lawsuit for allegedly refusing to allow breast pumping by an employee and a new mother. Northwest news radio's John libertini reports. Filed this week, the lawsuit alleges Taylor closed was forced to stop pumping breast milk for her newborn son to keep her job as a deck hand on a kitsap ferry. Lawyer Michael subat. Reluctantly, she gave up the breath pumping and went back to work as a deckhand and then she found out 6 months later that another deckhand that's the agency had allowed to do this. Sub it argues this is a violation of Washington's pregnancy accommodation law. That to me is just outrageous on a human level. Close who's in her 20s quit the job 6 months later after learning breast pumping was allowed by a new HR manager. Forced to give up breast pumping, which my understanding is once you stop, you lose that opportunity. No comment yet from kitsap transit. John Wolverine, northwest news radio. An accused killer is now out of jail on electrical monitoring following a judge's order last week. William toliver has been released to his grandmother's home as he awaits trial on a number of charges connected to a shooting at third and pine in downtown Seattle back in 2020. The gunfire there killed a woman and injured several other people, including a child, tulliver and marquise Gilbert were arrested by police in Las Vegas in the aftermath of that shooting. Gilbert was found not guilty of the charges against him last year. The state House of Representatives has approved a ban on the sale and distribution of at home rape testing kits. The measure was sponsored by Republican Gina moss brucker, who says companies are trying to profit from a heinous crime. Why are we selling something to a survivor? A victim, a college student, a non college student, that's free. She goes on to say that the home test at home test kits aren't even up to medical and legal standards. Her bill passed unanimously out of the house and now heads to the Senate. State lawmakers want to make sure young students
"two kids" Discussed on Northwest Newsradio
"You see his mom running out after the car thief, but he gets away. Still, with two kids in the car, the man only drove the stolen car and the two kids inside about a mile away, mom's sister tells me that the thief parked the car and ran off. The 7 year old grabbed her brother and found someone that she could ask to call her mom for help. Police are still looking for that man. Denise Whitaker come on news. More rough seas for Washington state fairies the anacortes Sidney route to Canada has been canceled until 2030 at the earliest. Shut down since the pandemic, the focus is now shifting to domestic routes. In Sterling is with Washington state fairies. And we've been able to do that for panic or to San Juan island, Seattle bainbridge, from muckle to Clinton for Edmonds Kingston and next up is the font of Roy bash on southworth route. We hope to get that restored this spring. A worldwide shortage of Mariners has led to staffing shortages and service cancellations. The aging fleet of fairies includes a silicone, which is more than 60 years old, a commercial ferry company were told could take over the anacortes, Sydney route. Kitsap transit is at the center of a discrimination lawsuit for allegedly refusing to allow breast pumping by an employed and a new employee and a new mother, northwest news radio's John libertini reports. Filed this week, the lawsuit alleges Taylor closed was forced to stop pumping breast milk for her newborn son to keep her job as a deckhand on a kitsap ferry. Lawyer Michael subat. Reluctantly, she gave up the breath pumping and went back to work as a deckhand and then she found out 6 months later that another deckhand that's the agency had allowed to do this. Sub it argues this is a violation of Washington's pregnancy accommodation law. That to me is just outrageous on a human level. Close who's in her 20s quit the job 6 months later after learning breast pumping was allowed by a new HR manager. Forced to give up breast pumping, which my understanding is once you stop, you lose that opportunity. No comment yet from kitsap transit. John wilbert, northwest news radio. And accused killer is now out of jail on electric home monitoring following a judge's order last week. William toliver has been released to his grandmother's home as he awaits trial on a number of charges connected to a shooting at third and pine in downtown Seattle back in 2020. The gunfire there killed a woman and injured several other people, including a child, toliver and marquise Gilbert were arrested by police in Las Vegas in the aftermath of that shooting. Gilbert was found not guilty of the charges against him last year. The state House of Representatives has approved a ban on the sale and distribution of at home rape testing kits. The measure was sponsored by Republican Gina moss brucker, who says companies are trying to profit from a heinous crime. Why are we selling something to a survivor? A victim, a college student, a non college student, that's free. She goes on to say the at home test kits aren't even up to medical and legal standards. Her bill passed unanimously out of the house and now heads to the Senate. State lawmakers want to make sure young students get sufficient recess northwest news radio's Jeff podrick explains. The amount of recess kids get in elementary school is not
"two kids" Discussed on WNYC 93.9 FM
"Is all things considered. I'm Audie Cornish. You know, this is the third school year that's been disrupted because of coronavirus. And so many of the challenges that made spring 2020 fall 2020 and spring 2021 so tough, it was hard to get the teacher's attention remain. My learning definitely took a slight decrease would say, I probably interacted with my teachers, maybe six or seven times throughout my sophomore year. That's it? No, not a slight, probably pretty drastic decrease virtual ways. It was hard, exciting. It has seen many people. I was sad because I missed hanging out with my friends and learning was different cause they can't broken up close example. Because, well, we're on a screen if you needed help, and a lot of the other kids were getting their questions answered. By the time I finally had my turn, we were already a ways ahead. We spoke to several kids and their parents about their concerns as the school year begins. And a big worry for parents. How will last year's mess of the school year affect their kids? This year? There wasn't that constant engagement. It was more so okay, well, you need to get this done, and if you don't have it done, you're going to get a zero or it's going to be marked missing. That's LaShawn Stitt. She's 51 lives in Maryland, and she has two kids. Her daughter is a senior in high school and her son is a freshman. Lucien says she is more concerned about her son this year since he's entering high school. She says he hasn't been as engaged in his classes and as an educator that bothers her and in the push for getting the assignments done, even though he wasn't retaining anything. I can ask him a question from last year. Like what book? Did you read? It was like, uh, I don't know. Trying to remember information from the last school year is something many students struggled with students like high school Senior Leah better in Alaska so difficult to retain anything. Because there's so much like the stressors of the world is going on right now. The material that you're learning is going to be not in first place of everything else that's going on and that lack of engagement and difficulty retaining information is showing up in test scores. Reports are showing very consistently that kids learned Less for the average American student. It's several months less learning. And so what's really concerning, though, is when we dig into the numbers, we see that the math scores are really behind an early literacy scores behind as well. This is Robin Lake, a researcher who has combed through several studies about how the pandemic affected learning. We'll hear more from her in a bit. But it's not just math and reading that took a hit. Mental health suffered, too. When she wasn't on camera. Sometimes she would be angry. Sometimes she would have outbursts. Sometimes she would just express frustration. That's Katie Olsen. She has two daughters, Leo we heard from earlier. Here she is talking about what online learning was like for her 11 year old daughter, Carmen, you could tell the magnitude and the duration of everything really weighed heavy. On her trying to understand where her place was in the world. So where are American school Children as they begin another school year in the shadow of the pandemic. That's something I spoke about with Robin Lake, the director of the center on Reinventing Education. We heard from her a minute ago, and Katie McLaughlin, a psychologist at Harvard University, They both had the same opportunity to hear the voices. We just heard. And they had this reaction. Katy McLaughlin, which of those voices stood out to you? As you think about what this disrupted school year has been as I listened to those conversations, the piece that stood out the most to me was the mother who was expressing Her child feeling angry, feeling frustrated and as someone who's focused a lot on the impact of the pandemic, socially and emotionally for Children across a range of studies. We've seen that about twice as many Children. Are reporting meaningful symptoms of depression, anxiety or behavior problems than before the pandemic. And what does that look like in a kid? I don't know if you're talking about a five year old or a 15 year old. So in young Children, this might look like worry about interacting with remote platform as you heard several Children Express Concerns about going back to school fear for safety of their parents or other family members. For other kids, it can look more like anger, outbursts, difficulty paying attention to things that They used to be able to, without problem. And of course, this is a concern as Children return to school because we know that these types of mental health problems can negatively impact their performance in school Robin Knowing what you know about learning loss from last year. What do you actually worry about? Right? What do you What is your concern about this generation of learners? The first thing I think we need to do is make sure that as much as possible kids can stay in school this year. I mean, I hate to say it is a very basic thing, but keeping kids safe and committing to making sure that they can Stay learning in person throughout the year is a very important starting point this year. It sounds easy, but politically, depending on where you are. That's a tough one. Right? So I think it bears saying we've got to. We've got to make that commitment safe and learning throughout the year. I think we can expect going forward that you know if it's not a pandemic we're facing. There will be other disruptions and schooling and and kids lives. So we really can't afford a public education system. That's that's not responsive and resilient to those kinds of things. So as we go forward, I think the challenge in front of us is how to use this opportunity to shift become a little bit more nimble, a little bit more responsive a little bit more individualized and Katie for you. Looking ahead or things you're going to be looking out for in terms of challenges or GIs being back in school physically kind of make things better. I would love to expand on some of the points that Robin made about what schools can be focusing on Educational side or academic side by also highlighting some things that are important to consider in terms of supporting Children's social and emotional well being during this transition back to school, So first schools are going to need to be prepared for the fact that kids are going to be exhibiting more symptoms of mental health problems than usual. There's going to be more anxiety. More frustration in the classroom than in a typical year. Um, and as a result, schools are likely to be seeing many more students who need more intensive mental health supports. In a typical year building on them. The additional educational supports that Robin mentioned schools are going to need to be able to offer those types of supports and services to a larger number of students to support their well being this year, and this is especially true in the communities that were most impacted by the pandemic, which Have historically been communities that are least likely to have access to good quality.
"two kids" Discussed on AP News
"In the home. Uh, two kids, probably ages. Uh, 10 to 13. One more one female and then to middle age adults. Police did not immediately identifying a suspect. But we do not think that this is a random violence. There's no sign of forced entry from the outside. We suspected is domestic. Finally, it was a surprisingly strong weekend from movie theaters. Marvel Films chunky in the Legend of the 10 rings smashed the record for Labor Day openings with an estimated $71.4 million in ticket sales. I'm Ben Thomas. AP News Hours after gunfire erupted outside the presidential palace in the west African nation of Guinea. It was announced that President Alpha Conde is government had been dissolved and that the nation's borders will be closed. Colonel Mamadou yeah, from the Guinean Army seize control of state television to announce what seemed to be the execution of acute data. After seizing the airwaves, the mutinous soldiers found to restore democracy and gave themselves a name the National Committee of Gathering and Development. President condos. Whereabouts were not immediately known. The colonel who spoke to the nation did not mention the unpopular president. He did, however, that the Constitution would also be dissolved and borders closed for one week. I'm Karin Sham US Labor Day weekend has been an unusually busy one for the nation's theaters. Years passed. People have not flocked to the movies. Labor Day weekend Throw in a surging delta variant of the coronavirus and you get a blockbuster. The 10 rings.
"two kids" Discussed on AP News
"Two kids, probably ages. Uh, 10 to 13. One more one female and then to middle age adults. Police did not immediately identify a suspect. But we do not think that this is a random violence. There's no sign of forced entry from the outside. We suspected is domestic. Finally, it was a surprisingly strong weekend from movie theaters. Marvel Films chunky in the Legend of the 10 rings smashed the record for Labor Day openings with an estimated $71.4 million in ticket sales. I'm Ben Thomas. AP News Hours after gunfire erupted outside the presidential palace in the west African nation of Guinea. It was announced that President Alpha Conde is government had been dissolved and that the nation's borders will be closed. Colonel Mamadi Dumbo. Yeah, from the Guinean Army seize control of state television to announce what seemed to be the execution of acute data. After seizing the airwaves, the mutinous soldiers found to restore democracy and gave themselves a name the National Committee of Gathering and Development. President condos. Whereabouts were not immediately known. The colonel who spoke to the nation did not mention the unpopular president. He did, however, that the constitution would also be dissolved and borders closed for one week. I'm Karen Hamas Labor Day weekend has been an unusually busy one for the nation's theaters. Years passed. People have not flocked to the movies. Labor Day weekend, throwing a surging delta variant of the coronavirus and you get a blockbuster. The 10 rings gave our family.
"two kids" Discussed on 103.5 KISS FM
"So and again. I don't know. I only watched a little bit of Episode three but her now husband is aware That That's the guy who she kind of, like, has these fantasies over so he begins to kind of stalk him. And so that shower scene is her husband in the shower with this guy, unbeknownst to him, I'm sure so her husband is like in there, you know, naked also, and like washing himself, and then he looked. Can you imagine, though, if your wife Was journaling about how this guy put it down. And then you finally see this dude and you see that part and you compare it to yours. And you're like, Oh, God. Forget about it. How does her husband find out like? How does he know? Because she read She read his journal her journal, and I don't I'm not sure that I remember how she figured out that it was like, Dear diary today. I saw something I've never seen before. Right? It was terrified, saying, I mean, just to give you a perspective. I mean, this thing goes to his knees. It goes literally cheese knees. We gotta post a photo and put an emoji of some sort over it. Okay, I'll I'll post the video with an emoji over. So this scene you're talking about Fred. You emojis. That's a like a fantasy of this one. If that's not a real scene in, it's just like a made up scene. So I'm trying to describe it as best I can. So so this woman had this. This is sort of like on and off relationship with dude with the big schlong. Yeah, And you know he was dangerous and he was He was hurt in trouble. And, you know, I had daddy issues and You know, like the typical thing the guy who won't commit, but he's like amazing in bed because it's all like emotionally disconnected, however, and then she meets this nice like, you know, straight guys straight suited, you know, like a finance dude, and he's a good guy, and he loves her and marries her and moves her out to the suburbs. They have two kids and the sex is kind of boring. But like he loves her to death and It's very satisfying in other ways, and so, but she keeps, I guess, journaling and fantasizing about this other guy. So husband reads the journal and I don't I don't remember how he connected. Who the guy was, but maybe from the context of the journal. He was able to put it together and he winds up following this guy one day into the gym and then you know, kind of wants to check this dude out, So he kind of follows him around and follows him into the locker room. And then the dude goes in the gym, so he gets in the shower with him happen. And so he's like washing himself, then turns around and then dude with the with the 18 FT, long turns around And then so here's guy tortured by the fact that his wife is journaling about this guy, and then she sees that he has, um you know, an elephant tusk. And and so that's you know, obviously, he's even more upset about that. Um, let me go to Gretchen. Real fast. I, Gretchen. Okay? Yes, I totally watched it. Um, I was shocked to say the least. It's not real right? It can't be. I don't know. Bit Winnie walking away to go into the sea on end in the shower. You can't see it so either they something different or little CG action. Maybe I think it's good. That's that's the thing is, and there are other nude scenes, not where you see full frontal, but there are other new seats in the show. And you don't see anything like that, so they must either tied the thing in a knot or like I don't know what they did, because And of course, the actor is claiming that it's in all of the interviews he's saying Oh, no, that's mine. Of course he is, too. Yeah, but here's the problem with it was a little unbelievable to me. I don't know if that particular actor is married because if he's not married, and he's telling everybody, it's real, it's only going to lead to very unimpressed people. That's the reason why I don't ever understand why guys lie about their manhood and talk about how big it is or whatever. Because if it's not first of all, if you're talking about it, it's not and and and if it's not, then someone's going to think that it is and then see it and be disappointed. And you know what I mean. So that's why I always say under promise over, deliver under promise over deliver, tell everybody. It's eyes average and then if it's bigger than average Then you win. Know what I mean. I agree. Alright. Questions like I don't care. It's my It's my phone screen saver and everything like that. Yeah, screenshot up. Yeah, Like I had these. My iPad think a screenshot of that kind of stuff. Oh, yeah, Boy,.
"two kids" Discussed on Chicago Dog Walk
"Me that the evidence did not line up with early story. So i am leaning towards darley's guilt. Now when i would be interested to see if anybody has delved into is darren. The husband was born. We're doing this pod you've said you've put quotes over him a couple of times so yeah i mean again. If it's also sketchy that all of this was going on downstairs. And he didn't hear anything right. I mean if your family's getting stabbed someone's breaking into your house. The struggle is ensuing. You know we're you're sleeping. I don't know i would be very and it. Could you know you could use motive of darlas racking up this debt. He was you know needed a way out of it. He was sick of her spending habits. Again you could go back to like oh the you can go back to the insurance policies again. They weren't that much But if that wound was like intended to kill darley he could've Cashed out on her insurance may be. Her insurance policy was bigger. I dunno i. it's darren was not heavily. Looked into you on this one so is interesting. 'cause you always look like they always look at the husband or the boyfriend i i was like. Oh it's the mothers mother nature but not on this one they to me it does not scream intruder. That's my just my personal opinion am not. I am no authority on this case. But i what do you think. I don't know it's one of those were like. I have to do more research now. Like you've laid it out and like you've told me what people say. But it's like i feel like you know i really wanna go check more things out you know so but that was interesting. I mean god. It's gotta be brutal sitting in that self for years for her if she didn't do it because knowing like yahtzee paying the price of your life and then knowing that your children died as well But like you said. I don't know there's a lot a lot of things i just i to either too many things that don't fit in to work at all. Just coincidentally points her guilt. All right that allie. Thank you Thanks for listening. This two parter way back to one's Probably next week had to do this last ones in the studio so Thank you ellie. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening this week. Too and i will see you all on monday..
"two kids" Discussed on Chicago Dog Walk
"You can also argue that. If darlie was truly trying to kill our sons and then kill herself she wouldn't have gotten the pay. You can argue with the other side if she were dead she's not going to get the pay out so and she's not going to get her husband's not going to get life insurance on her because she killed herself. And then you can't you don't get the policy so i guess that that does question the prosecution's motive right there as they weren't even not even like a huge payout at all now again. If you look at these sources you all you know back and forth either innocent or not. You'll find contradicting information. Not all of it is backed up by like hardcore evidence but it was. It was argued that the city council wanted to essentially get this case in out. Have it solved because obviously this is huge thing in the media. This is a small town so it's an even bigger deal. And there was a especially a county fair coming up and they. They wanted to have a good attendance. Some people argue that they wanted to get it in and over with the police did not want to admit that they had That they were so far in and had made a mistake they just wanted to get it over with and so they went through this quick one month. Trial got the guilty verdict and whatever didn't actually do like a end up trial now. I yeah i guess you could say that. Like if there's evidence to back it up but also if that really was like the the city side of the motive kind of if you will i'm they would have to me. They would have made it a double capital murder casing gotten both of them on the way right because they still have one lingering over their head that they haven't charged anybody for so i guess to me that didn't really make sense but i can see why someone would argue that. I guess now the screen the screen was cut in a way that one.
"two kids" Discussed on Chicago Dog Walk
"Errors not only errors but also omissions. Thirty three thousand hundred. That's how long this this transcription of the trial is to give you an idea but thirty three thousand errors and omission that were found to have been made in the court transcripts. Now we're not talking like they missed a period or forgot to capitalize a letter gore. Talking like straight up changed statements or omitted statements from the record which is obviously highly illegal but now also goes back and they have got an unfair trial which like this is also something that people fighting for our innocence like really strongly grab onto and it's a fair point. You know you are entitled to a fair trial but does it change the evidence. Does it change the crime scene. Those it doesn't change the hardcore facts that were found. This is somebody's mistake and or you know lack of doing their job correctly. It's not going back and saying. Oh yeah somebody actually did go through the window or do you know what i'm saying like it's it's almost like a loophole kind of to be like all right. This was not a fair trial which is a fair point but it does not mean somebody is or is not guilty. The there was an original juror on the trial number one that stated they did vote for a guilty verdict because they felt peer pressured. That right there will get the whole thing tossed out. Yeah that that's pretty bad and It was also that the trial was held in different county. But they'll still. You'll still see arguments for. She was tried against her peers. Mean like it wasn't impartial at all most likely because those cases that just blow weapon are so big that there's not going to be anyone hasn't heard about it so it doesn't argument they try to make as well. If jerk straight up comes out and admits i felt guilty or choosing. I felt peer pressured into voting guilty. That is not how a jury supposed to work now. The knife cut in darley's neck. The one that i said was two millimeters away from being fatal. Cutting her crowded artery. This is a fair argument. How would darlie have known that she could come that close and not kill herself. 'cause he it's you can argue. Oh she you tried to kill ourselves and then or killers tried to kill ourselves but it didn't work because the necklace gotten away but again how a darlie have known to be vat exact or well. Dumb luck is a thing. It is a thing and it could definitely be definitely be done like that. Is some really good dumb luck if it is tower. But it i mean. It's a fair point in. Especially if you're like inflicting that deep of a cut on yourself i mean that is you really going for it. It's that's not just a superficial wound. Now prosecution latched onto the fact that the motive of was over her head in debt and wanted to collect the life insurance on policies on her sons however the life insurance policy for each son was about five thousand dollars thus not that much and that was basically. Just you know barely enough to cover. Cover funeral costs if that does not. She wasn't like making bank on this..
"two kids" Discussed on Chicago Dog Walk
"Innocent and there were an intruder darlie did have. I saw. I one piece of information that. I saw on several different sources. Which makes me to believe that. It's probably more true than just you know stating oh. This isn't true. Another source is at darley had significant bruising on her arms that were consistent with a physical struggle in addition there were foreign fingerprints that did not match darley's or the families found on the kitchen countertop. That's when i got that information. It made me pause for sure. But i am in the made out of said but like fingerprints in the blood fingerprints that could have been there beforehand. Because that's s. I mean such as countertops yes Now the fingerprints makes me think that they were within the evidence because they were focused on so heavily and they were said. These are proven to be adult fingerprints. They do not match darlie. they do not match darren. Obviously they're not gonna just kids. The kids are kids now. Neighbors had recounted. Witness testimony recounted this black car that had been kind of eyeballing or watching the house for a couple of days prior to the murders. This is kind of loose end. One witness testimony is super unreliable. And too you know just because there's a black car outside doesn't mean that they're watching it what i'd be curious to say. Why did you say they are specifically watching the house versus like maybe they're just parked there and there's someone in the car i don't know during the court proceedings though you and you can find almost all of the court documents on this case which is huge because there are still more likely than not. It's it's hard to dig those up. Yes they are public knowledge but not all of them are easily accessible to the public. This one i you can straight up. Read almost the entire hawks. Yeah how's the verbiage is a lot different from. It's a little easier. It's definitely more formal than The other ones that were a little bit older. We were in nineteen ninety six. Or we've brought it up. A little bit is a little more formal to where it's not just like a story narrative but It's definitely not is not super difficult like anybody can go and read it now. It is something i struggle with is during the trial. You've got the Not the translator. The transcriber Who is sitting there typing out the minutes and basically like a whole script to what's happening in court ripe. It was found. There was something near thirty. Three thousand.
"two kids" Discussed on Chicago Dog Walk
"Let's hop into part to here so two weeks. After the murders darlie routier is arrested on charges of capital murder for her son devon and her son david damon capital murder charges for both was on. Contest the okay so. She was charged and arrested on contest that there was no evidence of an intruder so that was her Police have her as going to be all over the scene. But it's supposed to be all overseen. It's her house. They went based off the fact that there was no evidence in the story of an intruder did not add up now. Darlie was held on a one million dollar bail and this was so obviously so that she was A clear risk to the public and judges did not want her fleeing didn't want her out on the streets. She had another saen with her husband. The son was actually taken into Child protection because they still hadn't they hadn't figured this out yet they didn't know if he was in a dangerous situation. Now darley's diaries are journal. Entries were also looked at and some there were some questionable entries in here stating things like you know. I'm so sorry for what i'm about to do or you know things that eluded to potentially being suicidal potentially doing something that she's heavily gonna regret very omnibus nothing. Nothing was in detail very ominous things to where investigators questioned is. Is this involved in some way. Or how could it not be involved in some way. so january. Sixth nineteen seventy seven about six months after the crime. Extra took place darlie. Routers trial begins for capital murder. It lasted less than a month. This is a cat a double capital murder case tom. Actually i shouldn't say w to my knowledge..
"two kids" Discussed on KOA 850 AM
"Two kids 12 to 15 years of age, The more people we can get vaccinated, the more lives we're gonna save. I mean, it's a simple is that Dr Shawn O'Leary is a professor of pediatrics at the University of Colorado's and Shoots medical campus. He says Getting shots into the arms of this age group is extremely important to vaccinate these ages of kids is really gonna offer them a ticket to hopefully, the others. Side of this pandemic, And he says all the Children have generally experienced a less severe reaction to covet. It is now in the top 10 causes of death in Children. There's no word when state run vaccination sites will start vaccinating the younger crowd. A couple of sports venues are opening up capacity. Currently, there's word Coors Field will be at 70% capacity. As of June 1st. The Rocky sent a text message to season ticket holders. Yesterday. The increased capacity will be in place for games through June. 20th more fans will also be able to get into ball arena. Does he have the Nuggets playoff games capacity is being increased to just over 42% or more than 7700 fans. That's up from just 22%. Previously, Tonight's ABS regular season finale will be at the reduced rates The team can win the president's trophy is the league's best, as well as the Western Division crown with a victory over the King's Chad Hoffman care way. News radio. The South Boulder King superstore that was the site of a mass shooting in March, has plans to reopen this fall, but it will be completely renovated before then. And we're working with the city of older to expedite the rebuilding phase of our beloved table. Mesa store. King Super spokeswoman Jessica Trowbridge says the redesign will include input from associates as well as the community. The city also announced preliminary plans for a permanent memorial to the 10 people who were killed in that shooting. That's expected to take a number of years to be finalized. Wyoming Congresswoman Liz Cheney not changing her ways after being stripped of her house leadership posts. I intend to be the leader of one of the lead. In in a fight to help to restore our party in a fight to bring our party back to substance and principles. Do you give him with the today Today's show Savannah Guthrie, which airs later this morning, She highlights what she will continue to speak out about because she fears it's not just the Republican Party at risk, but the nation as a whole. House Republicans removed. Cheney is the conference chair yesterday because of her criticisms of former President Donald Trump Arrests piling up from the January 6th sense direction attack of the nation's capital after what Attorney General Merrick Garland called the heinous attack on the U. S capitol January 6th. Hundreds of participants have been caught in just under 130 days, The Justice Department has made more than 430 arrests. Many of the defendant's Garland said, sought to interfere with the peaceful transfer of power. I have not seen the more dangerous threat Democracy, then the invasion of the capital. Garland asked the Senate Appropriations Committee for more money to combat domestic violent extremism, which he said represents the country's most persistent threat. Aaron Carter Ski ABC News New York. Thankfully, no one was injured after two small planes had a mid air collision. This happened yesterday morning. Fox 30 one's meant more of reports 9 70 declared emergency. That emergency is two planes colliding in midair just south of Denver. Definite midair, and this is what Happened. Moments later, a plane parachuted to the ground near the Cherry Creek Reservoir. I believe they hit pretty hard. The collision happened as both planes were cleared to land at the Centennial Airport on parallel runways. Six Don't follow them number 17 right, cleared to land additional traffic north towards the metro enough for the fellow about three miles away, and at about 6000 ft for reasons unknown. They crashed into each other. The impact was so strong it tore apart the fuselage of this key lime A er Swearingen metro liner cargo plane that was able to land safely and forced the pilot and passenger of a serious S. R 22 plane to deploy its emergency parachutes aviation to have something like that happen and have no fatalities. That's I'm in on John Barr to lick, a commercial pilot in flying instructor specializes in training pilots in serious planes. They're equipped with what's called caps a serious airframe parachute system, the one that this plane deployed and probably saved the lives of the two on board. That's Fox 30 one's Met. Morrow reporting an Arapaho County jury has found in Aurora Man Guilty of the 2019 murder of his wife. Palin's Odo will likely spend the rest of his life in prison for shooting his wife, Amber in the face and then hiding her body in a garbage can in the garage, so tried to claim that the mother of their two Children committed suicide. And then he panicked and hid the body. The jury didn't buy. At the mandatory sentence for first degree murder his life in prison without parole. Sentencing is set for July. 19th Joel Hyland K Way news radio. Those long lines for gas and the East and Southeast are about to get worse before they get better, which hopefully all will happen very soon. A pipeline that runs from Texas to New York is finally back on line after a cyberattack last week, but we'll take a couple of days for the delivery supply chain to return back to normal, experts say that means gas shortages from panic buying will continue this week and Spike again due to demand the good news. It should all be over in time for the busy Memorial Day TRAVEL weekend. Ohio is giving five adult residents to chance to win a million bucks..
"two kids" Discussed on 77WABC Radio
"Two kids ages 12 to 15 years old. Here's the BBC. Certainly Kessler, it could happen as early as this week. The FDA reportedly poised to green light the shots after the New York pharmaceutical giant said it's Covad vaccine is 100%, effective in the 12 to 15 year old age group. If Visor gets the go ahead, middle school Children and all high school students could start getting vaccinated later this month, sort of laws. He was insisting it's safe and time for city employees to be back the workplace. Despite backlash will today, some 80,000 City employees were told to come back to work. City Hall is abuzz today. It's a great feeling. I have been at City Hall throughout the pandemic, but for the first time and You know, a year. Plus, we really have the spirit in the energy this place back. The mayor feels employees will get a lot more done in person than at home former just quarterback Joe name with Bernie and said this morning on the jet, securing BYU quarterback 21 year old Zach Wilson in the draft. Joe says he likes former Jets quarterback Sam Donald, who is now with the path and I didn't like stand on what I like him personally Wonderful. Young man, but he didn't have a lot of tools to work with. Trafficking transitive Next now, your forecast in the Ramsey Subaru Weather Center tonight rain lows in the mid fifties tomorrow. Partly sunny high 71. 63 cloudy in New York. It's 60 on Staten Island from the RST solutions dot com news this com Bob Brown on 77 W A. B C. Del.
"two kids" Discussed on WGN Radio
"Two kids here Their life, but says the suit sends a message. We break the law, The city will go after you. David Jennings, WGN news have a couple of breaking national stories this morning. There has been a shooting involving FBI agents in South Florida Police have swarmed a neighborhood near Sunrise, Florida. Are reports that two of those FBI agents are gravely injured and this appears to be a warrant that was being served in a child pornography case also from Oklahoma, near Tulsa. Police say a man has been taken into custody. After six people, including five Children, were found shot to death there. We'll have more on those stories coming up throughout the morning. It's ground Hog's day and celebrations are underway across the country and in Woodstock. Really looked skyward to the East, then behind to the ground and stated clearly in ground Hall Gaze. I definitely do not see Asano prediction indicates in early spring for the Chicago area, the official ground hog the nation's ground hog punk, said Tony Phil. Did see his shadow predicts six more weeks of winter. Now we WGN sports Here's David. Good morning. Major League Baseball says it is telling teams to go ahead and plan to start spring training on time, two weeks from tomorrow, But that's not what they wanted MLB. It asked the players union No. Let them push back camp and the season and play 154 games instead of 162 without Any pay cuts, But the union didn't buy it, saying it's all no reason to delay the season. So MLB says they'll start on time later this month with opening day April 1st opening night at the Super Bowl Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes back there for the second straight year instead of just soaking in all the glory of win the Super Bowl last year, we went back to work, and we want to work every single day. To make ourselves better to prepare ourselves for every single situation that could arise and has put us in this game, But we have to keep going because we're planning a great football team. Second Super Bowl from the homes 10th for Tom Brady in town. The Chiefs put two players on the reserve covert 19 list because a close contacts wide receiver Doma DaMarcus Robinson and center Daniel Kilgore But they could still play if they test negative through the week. Bulls coach Billy Donovan didn't like ways teams started last night. Hence he called a time out 50 seconds into the game of the Bulls down just to nothing to the next. The Bulls were tough down the stretch and beat New York 1, 10 102 Lorry Market and 30, the Bulls ending three game losing streak tonight. The Blackhawks try to make it a two game winning streak when they host the Carolina Hurricanes of the pregame on WGN at 6 30 the face off it's seven and Candace Parker Lee formally introduced today as the newest member of the Chicago Sky. Hey, man, it W g M sport. No. The forecast from the WGN Chicago Weather Center. Here's meteorologist, Morgan Cook Mayer. Good morning. Another nice and easy day for US temperatures this morning said anywhere from the middle teens to near 30 degrees. Clouds linger into northwest Indiana this morning, and I think through the daytime hours, which helped to keep those temps a little bit milder and the Mid twenties and low thirties there most of us see a partly cloudy sky northwest Indiana Mostly cloudy and may see some light lake effect. Snow move into especially Porter County today. Otherwise, temps make it to the lower thirties this afternoon with winds north northwest 5 to 10 Gusting to 15 overnight low it 15 low thirties tomorrow from the WGN Weather Center. I'm working Coke Meyer Right now in Chicago. The wind chill is 11. Now your money on.
"two kids" Discussed on WTOP
"Design right now save 50% on all roofing materials. It's 6 22. The woman is dead after being shot inside a home in Prince George's County. Shooting happened around 9 30 last night on Dunkirk Drive near Deal worth place in upper Marlboro. Police say they found the woman shot dead at the scene. No arrests have been made. Retired D C police chief Peter Newsom starts his new job tomorrow as chief in Prince William County before he even walks in the door. Some are calling for him to be fired, and Newsome says he knows some think of him. As a stranger, Peter Newsom says it's incumbent upon him to hear from and talk with critics. It's gonna be My responsibility to get together with those folks and let him know who Peter Newsom really is. Let him know what I'm all about. He knows non whites have historically been underrepresented in the Prince William County Police Department. A number of folks in the community have raised concerns about the department not being diverse enough. I'm a true believer that your police department diversity wise needs to reflect the community that they serve. Newsome hopes to let young people of color no policing the profession you can come into be proud of, and 30 years later, look back and feel you did something worthwhile. Me log unstained. W T o P. News has the FBI continues to look into whether members of law enforcement were involved in the capital Riot comes more calls for police agencies to take a closer look at those in their ranks. One retired officer who has worked with local, state and federal law enforcement agencies. Says the country has some decisions to make. We need to decide if we're gonna be serious about eradicating extreme ideologies within the police department. Delano Reed is a retired A T F officer in a member of Noble, the National Organization of Black Law Enforcement executives, He says the bad seeds need to be rooted out. Good.
"two kids" Discussed on 990 The Answer
"When I was back at the end of Madison Avenue, I saw a guy he walked up and he takes his scarf off and puts it on front of the on the top of the tree. There's like 12 ft up, so he had to throw it up and over top of the trick. So I tried to get close to him. And then then we hear that that he's saying to somebody yet, tell Dad, we're safe. We're on the other side. Can you see my spot? He's talking to somebody on the other side of the reflecting pool. But what was strange was he was a young is like a 20 year old kid. And he had a flip phone, which those phones are typically burner phones, their phones that you could buy $20. Nobody knows who owns on you. Just get him and then you throw him away. 20 year old kid. To have a flip phone would be highly unusual. So I started taking video of them as I'm taking video of him. He looks at me pulls down the thing and just walks away. Then he goes, and he talks to more people. And I noticed the two people that he was talking to her two older gentlemen, but they were staying back too. And they had chairs like they were. Actually I don't know why you would. You would sit where you were sitting They knew that they were going to be in that spot like they staked out that spot all the way back. It was just kind of odd, but they also they had tape on their Lord. He had masking tape on one of their arms and it looked like it was identifying people then in the same area. I saw a family but look like a family. A mother with two kids. And They just They weren't They weren't dressed. Appropriately, you know, to fit into the crowd. That was an anomaly. They stood out. One of the kids had a two way radio and at 1.1 of the kids says You better call Mom and tell him we're all right now. I don't know who they were with. But the kid gets on the radio. And cause Mom to say that they're all right now. I don't know if that's code. I don't know what it was all about, but it just it sticks out. It just doesn't seem right. So, John, the other thing. Yeah. The other things way saw that the most authority was the people with They were wearing the vest. Now they weren't They weren't tactical vest. There was tactical Vester point that you could put stuff all over. But they weren't They like they weren't bulletproof vest, But they were all wearing tactical destiny. All had helmets and gas masks. Yeah, the least it I mean, it was that that was the declaring the obvious. Was that people were wearing gas masks or bringing gas mask to this now? What another thing that was. That was the timing. The flow of the event just unfolded like it was too fast. It was the big we got down there. Like I said, we were first We were last in line to the to the beginning of it. We were first coming out, so we got down to the Capitol. First, they stormed and broke through their states almost immediately. And we never had time. We didn't know what was going on. We didn't know that tense had had had said no. Decertification We didn't know or care has said yes, that he wasn't ready. So when you say stormed, who was at the front of that? I mean, who would you say they When you do you think it was that sort of antifa presidents who was doing the initial front? Frontage violence. Very I do. I absolutely do. Because because what I was hearing on the what? I'm standing back, and I'm here. I see all the people up in the front. On the other side of the reflecting pool, and they're all behind these these metal barriers and then you start hearing break the barriers break the barriers, you know, stormed the capital. But then when they were up in the capital that it was attacked the police these all day all you're hearing. It's stopped The steel, you know, he's our president. They, you know, four more years. And then once you got down there, there's there is no reason unless people got phone calls telling them what was going on inside the Capitol, and none of us knew. Nobody knew you couldn't even get you couldn't get phone service down there. Anything was jammed. Yeah, I mean, if if I'm hearing you, right, And I think this is 100% What happened? I don't like it takes a genius to figure it out. Frankly, these air people stationed ready to go that as soon as the President's done, and you get a good crowd of master on the Capitol, That's when you turn the animals loose. You you start turn you turn. People lose tear down barriers Go it cops and then Hope that the legitimate crowd that showed up follows you in that. I guess there's a big crowd was a mile behind them and still film earned it and just like you said earlier, they just casually strolled right in not knowing that this is what's going on in front of you. They just kept filling in behind. So it appeared that they were they were stormed The building of the other thing that was going on was I kept hearing and They said that they used flash bangs. But I what I was hearing it sounded like like quarter sticks of dynamite or any M 80 s. Yeah, but small explosive small fireworks that were going off and I turned to another buddy of mine. Who is also a police officer. I said, you know, some maybe doing that is gonna they're gonna think there's bombs going off. Why would you be doing that? But these were going off on the crowd side. There's no God I've never seen anybody do anything. Let me in. The interest of just could be completely transparent and fair and honest. What is the culpability or the responsibility of the The generally peaceful, peacefully assembled honest. You know, John, you citizen from Delko. You went there to be a part of the day and you know you end up walking into the capital? Not you. But I mean, if you if, in fact you did, like, what is there any responsibility to be born by that man or woman? Who walked into the building that day, setting the antifa element aside, because I don't I don't want to make it sound as though There was nothing about anyone involved in that day. Other than antifa guilty of something. You know what I'm saying? S so I'm plowing. You're I mean, I think there's a responsibility. I gotta get there responsible for anything that happens to them. I mean, it's something happens to them. Then get there. They're responsible. I'm saying not saying that the young lady that was shot, you know that she's responsible for her getting shot. I don't know if that's where you were going. I just mean should she have been in the Capitol building at all? She probably shouldn't have been, But it's not Azaz. I was sitting on the outskirt watching it..