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Aired 2 months ago 10:11
NOTE: Rejected again.
Well, what you're about to hear is is very poor sound quality. I had the wrong Mike on. But I think that it was from the heart, and it was from the moment. So I want to retain it and not try to rerecord it. Hello. Well, I am in my podcast closet in Colombia right now is November. What does this November thirteenth and? Heartbroken devastated. Whether other words, are there shattered just do not even begin to describe the way that I'm feeling. Right now, and shocks. So as you might guess, and as I might have made the title of this note, my investor visa in Columbia was rejected again. We're still trying to figure out exactly what happened. I my. My lawyer is telling me that it's not me. It has nothing to do with me that it might have something to do with the company that I invested in which is strange because that company that I invested in has a good reputation and track record here. And as far as I know all the other investors. Manage to get their visas. So. For whatever reason I'm rejected again, it'll be another six months before I can apply for a visa again. I think it's probably not even idea for me to fly forward investor DC again because. Yeah. Have like six months of tourist stamp. You know in two thousand nineteen oh, by the way, I have to leave. I'm leaving. Tomorrow. Yeah. But tha flight with less than twenty four hours notice again. So anyway, I I have to leave tomorrow tomorrow's my last legal day. And I'm not allowed to return until two thousand nineteen wherein. I will be a tourist again and still have to do the whole counting of days at cetera. And that's only six months that only get me through halfway through the year. So whatever visa attempts. I make. Six months from now, the it's got work, or if the doesn't work than than there's a big problem that I've I've gotta leave and I have my whole life year, and you can imagine how my girlfriend feels about this situation is welded. You know, just having to leave out of nowhere again. Yeah. I don't have time to clear out my entire -partment. So I'll be double paying rent for. Well, actually, maybe hut. Because thankfully, I have some nice friends in Chicago who who with whom I can stay for a bit. And then I think I'll be staying with my parents for they'd be a month or so it'll be nice to spend time with with family. It's just I'm not really used to to spending that much time in a place like like Gilbert Arizona, which I am not. I I don't do. Well in suburban environments, and so I'm getting on a plane to Chicago tomorrow. I'll be there for maybe a little more than a week or something. I'm thinking about having a meet up. That would deny spirit lifter for me. It would also be nice to meet some of you who live in Chicago. So I'll just float that out there. If anybody has a place that they would recommend for doing a meet up that would be great. And then I after that I'll be in the Phoenix area for, you know, wait November and December. So again, if any of you are are there, I'd be happy to meet up for coffee or or something. And I don't know what I'll be doing it. It's it's been remarkably hard to remain productive. I mean, I'm still getting the podcast out. I still think I'll be able to get out on time for the foreseeable future. But as far as the writing it's been hard to keep those habits that I espouse so much in in a time like this. I I guess I'm trying to. Channel would ever negative feelings? There are here or or tried to to to remain open to the way this feels. And and and try to see where it takes me. One thing. I'm fantasizing about doing or the fantasy is doing for awhile might be the right opportunity to to do it. We'll see as I have probably be staying with my parents forbid is that they live near a golf course. And I used to be a very avid golfer. I rare I play maybe once a year. Now, it's been proven that I have zero talent in golf because I played on a high school team. I try to my college team. I worked extremely hard. And I never got very good. So I'm considering doing a little experiment where I take everything that I've learned about learning and try to see how how much better I can get it golf in say a month as like a fruit. Concept for perhaps a larger project. Anyway, that's just one of the things is going through my head right now. Because I am trying to think about media what sort of wilder or crazy things I can do now to to make this horrible horrible horrible event into something. Good into into tiny Esq. You know, black swan sort of thing, you know, where where will it where will it take me? I mean, I have certainly found in the past that times when I have felt the worst have often led to some of my greatest breakthroughs, and so hopefully, hopefully that will be the case here. I'm sure that even if it's not the case, I'll find some way to backward. Wrestling is it rationalize it to to to to convince myself that that is the case. So that I can feel feel better about it. But man, this has just been awful and just to think that there's gonna be another six months of this limbo. You know, I've a tendency to feel sorry for myself that this this. This ongoing life quest for this allusive thing called sustainable happiness. In belonging is just that. I've just getting my butt kicked on it. Because I found a place that I thought was my home, and it's just rejecting the over and over again in. Meanwhile, while watching people who are doing not honest things on the able to stay in the country. You know, you do the honest thing in you invest in the country, and you believe in in their economy and potential, and then they just say, you know, fuck off which it just makes me his changing, my perspective a little bit, you know. And and I have in this moment. Not nice thoughts that I just shouldn't say because there would be mean, and and come from the wrong place, and you know, hopefully at some point I will recover from this. This thing that I'm feeling right now. So anyway, this has been awful. You know? Fortunately, I I've I mean, I'm glad of got live like thankful that I have credit card points or something because this is already been extremely expensive. Even though I I do keep a, you know, an emergency fund for situations. Like like this. I'm specifically for these situations for one was called visas snafus, another one is called is called the emergency travel. And yet those are completely wiped out now Saturday on I guess, I need to recalibrate the way that I saved for events like this. So anyway, I wanted to give you an update you're gonna probably here a little bit different sound quality in some of the intros coming up. Hopefully, it'll be able to keep the podcast on track. I really appreciate your support on both in unit your concern on social media and in your patriots support, which I've talked in the past that. Uncomfortable. That patriot has this this sort of what what is it like a catastrophe bias, that's not the word that I I was using catastrophe price. But something something like that. But I, but you know, if you have considered contributing to the show on patriot on now, the good time to do that just go right out and say that, but you know, you don't have to it's it's completely up to you. It would be it would be good time for but. Yeah. I'm not sure what else to say it. I I hope that I get to spend more time in this closet in the future. I am confident that I'll get back into the country. A hopefully got a lot of stuff here. I have a relationship here. That's another thing. So. Yeah. Right. Well, that's that's the update I gotta get get packing and and good goodbyes. All right.
Love Your Work
Aired Last week 20:45
140: The Magical Power of Saying No
You're listening to nutrition matters podcast with page, smothers registered dietitian nutritionist. Nutrition matters podcast explores how to approach food and your body in a whole new way. I interview people who share stories and expertise in rejecting diet culture, making peace with food and discovering a more positive realistic and sustainable approach to health, and we'll be I'm page Snyder's registered dietitian, nutritionist and owner positive nutrition. An impersonal nutrition therapy practice in Salt Lake City, Utah I offer free resources, including this podcast of blog posts on social media. If your local to Salt Lake City checkout her services and availability for -pointment and keep your eyes out for in person groups on mindfulness intuitive eating body image resilience and more go to positive dash, nutrition dot com and hit subscribe if you'd like to keep in touch. I also offer online courses covering topics like the science of nutrition, mindfulness and healing your relationship with food. Check those out at positive dash nutrition dot com. Slash academy. If you like what you hear on the podcast. You can make a difference by leaving a review sharing with friends and family or making a donation. Thank you so much for your support. You can also find me on Instagram or Facebook, if you'd like to have a little more food for thought at page, smothers de thank you so much for listening. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to nutrition matters podcast. Happy two thousand nineteen. I hope you've had a great end to your two thousand eighteen I'm super excited to connect with you here. I'm excited to share what my two months without podcasting has been like for me. I hope that this episode doesn't feel like I'm a little being a little bit too self indulgent by talking too much about myself. But I do want to share an experience that I had and I want I hope sincerely that this connects to things that Phil relevant in your life. When a kind of give you an inside scoop into. To how something works in a field that all of us are very familiar with because I have some personal experience now. And I thought I would share. I also wanna talk with you about a time where I said, no over the last two months, and where it literally changed everything about how my brain was working. So I hope that's interesting. I hope this feels fund to connect with me again. I know that I I've really missed all of you podcasting over the or not podcasting over the last few months in of excited to be doing that again today. So some of you might be wondering what's your plan to podcasting of had a lot of people reach out to me since I sort of announced that is going to take some time off. So you know, here's what happened. It was great. It was really nice to have one less thing on my to do list. But I did miss it. And I'm super excited to be back. Back. However, I am I've decided that what I wanna do is. I'm pretty sure that that where I'm going to go is I'm going to podcast every other week, and I'm going to blog every other week because what I was finding is that podcasting was taking so much of my time and energy that I wasn't really able to find time to blog as much as I wanted to. And for me writing is such a cool expression and such a fun way for me to explore my feelings and thoughts and to express myself, and I don't wanna lose that. I don't wanna miss out on that opportunity. So, you know, there are people out there who really prefer blogs people out there who prefer podcasts. And I thought that what I could do is sort of have one thing that I do each week outside of my practice and one time one week. It will be podcasting another it will be blogging. So keep your eyes out for the blog as well. That's on my website, positive dash nutrition dot com. So that's what to expect from here on out. I do reserve the right to change my mind because I just preserved that right? So I wanted to share with all of you. What has happened over the last two months, and where tided titled this episode the power the magical power saying, no? So to be totally totally honest with you. I am not going to name names here. I'm not going to call any particular institution out. But I am going to give you a little bit of an inside scoop into what's happened for me over the last two months, and I think I think it should be interesting to you. So here it goes. So the original reason that I took the two months off was because I was actually going to be writing a book, and I wanted to clear my schedule as much as possible to really be able to dive into the process. So that's where this came from originally and. Long story short. I have been talking back and forth with a couple of different publishers in one specifically for the last maybe good part of a year. And what has what has transpired over the last couple months has been very very very fascinating. I won't go into all the details. But here's what I really want. You to know when push came to shove, I was standing firm in. I will not be promoting gimmicky dieting things I will not be promoting intentional weight loss efforts because we really don't have the evidence to support that. And that is not true to my my ethics my brand my philosophy. And I let them know right up front that this is very important to me to stay true to what feels right, and what feels true to me. And they said, no prob. No problem. So we moved down the path. And it it got to the point where it was very clear that that in I understand this. But it became very clear that they didn't understand me. And what I meant by kind of the boundaries that I had set up with them. So I got into this position where I had to decide do I take this really cool opportunity to write a book or do I walk away because there's a potential for this to be actually really not true to me. And I wrestled with it. It was actually, you know, in retrospect to kind of sound silly. Why was that a hard choice? I thought maybe I could work it out. I thought maybe I could explain and advocate and help people understand. I thought there was a chance that I could kind of wedge myself in there a little bit and make it make it work. So that's really what was hard for me was thinking all there's there's a chance that this could work and how cool with this. See for me as a career opportunity as an honor to even have someone think that my voice is worthy of publishing. I just it was a really cool idea and pretty intoxicating. So when push came to shove there there were just a very much non alignment in. What I wanted to say, and what the publisher wanted me to say, and I had to walk away. And I was I was calling everybody I knew to like offer me support. And to tell me what they thought I should do and over and over again people were like just just listen to your heart. It's okay to say, no, you know, other opportunities can come around. And so I just I got brave and on a Friday afternoon. I sent the Email, and I said, look I have to walk away. Like, this isn't aligning. Good luck with your book. But if I'm a little nervous for you. Because I don't think that you're really. Staying true to these ideals, and I was stressing about as losing sleep. I was feeling like maybe I was making the wrong decision. Because maybe I should just try to work things out. And do you want to know what happened? What happened was my brain that Friday. I went to bed. I felt good. I felt positive immediately. It was like why was this a hard decision for me? Why was it hard for me to even think that maybe saying no was the right thing? Of course. It's the right thing to say, no. And I woke up the next day. It was a Saturday. And all of a sudden, my brain these these topics that I had been wrestling with these tasks on my to do list this big looming project that I had that. I had no idea. What direction I wanted to go in and I was feeling total analysis paralysis about this project. Also knows like I know exactly what I wanna do. I know exactly I want to say it. I know exactly what this is going to. Look like, and boom, I'm ready to tackle it. So it was the coolest thing. I I know that I'm using kind of big words here in terms of like mates, it might sound like I'm over exaggerating. But I literally felt like I had a brain transplant. So from the time of about April of two thousand eighteen through December two thousand eighteen I had this looming book project in my head that I wasn't telling people about because I wasn't sure if it was gonna work out. And I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to say. And Meanwhile, I was rebranding my business. I had to redo my course that I had published couple years prior. But I was like feeling just so overwhelmed with all the things around in my head so fast forward to when I said no to this book project. I just walked away. Also, now's like, I know exactly what I wanna do. My brain is so clear, I feel like I have a new brain. It was the coolest thing in the. Whole world. It was such. It was nothing short of a magical experience if felt magical to me because I all set and just had such clarity. So I spent the month of December. Working on this, new course. And I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it. And it all just became so clear to me. So this course, you may have heard me talking about this on social media, or maybe you're on my Email list. This course is a brand new course that I'm calling positive nutrition for life heal your relationship with food. This is the rebrand if you've been following me for awhile you'll remember that a couple years ago, I made a course called educate embracing power how to unlock your inner wisdom to become your own eating experts. So I re- branded the course I made it better. I enhanced it I really poured my heart and soul into it. And it was the coolest experience to be able to feel like this big looming project that I knew I wanted to do. But I wasn't sure how I wanted to do it the very day that I say, no to this other big project all of a sudden, I have such clarity. So with with I know I risk kind of sounding like I'm just sharing about me, and you know, kind of over. Yeah. Over sharing and kind of being a little self-indulgent here. I'm hoping that this connects to you in a couple of ways, I'm hoping that Michel this story helps you know that sometimes saying no may just be the most empowering positive helpful thing you've ever done. Also, I want you to know that it's kind of sad to say, but I have personal experience. Now that I feel very confident that publishers books things that you're seeing out being published may or may not have your best interest in mind may or may not really care what the essence of intuitive eating is or the essence of making peace with food really means or really have sort of a sense of what's fair, and what's right with ethical. I I know this might sound trophy like dub page hardy, not know that. And I do know that, you know, maybe. Maybe some of the stuff that's out there. That's published just gimmicky or is kind of not really worried about the science. It's really more worried about what sells and what makes money I get that. But I have this. Now, I now have this personal experience with really seeing this in real life. And it was pretty shocking because I advocated an I tried to explain and I tried to hop on phone calls, and and help to reword and help to refocus and kind of make this project be the very most ethical in positive and truth oriented thing possible, and I was met with deaf ears. I was met with. We don't care we want you to say this. So as you're navigating your experience around things, you're reading and things that people are trying to sell to you and all of that stuff. I just encourage you to really remember that he. You know, this is all business and people are making money off of your insecurities people are making money off of. The work of at activists who are putting themselves out there and trying trying to advocate for changing the culture around bodies around food around health and nutrition. And we really just would do better to be a bit more skeptical. Bit more critical of the things that were consuming, including this podcast. I'm not trying to say that you know, I have it all figured out. So listen to me, don't listen anybody else. I actually really invite you to critically consume this podcast. Just like, I'm inviting you to critically consume books you buy or people you follow on social media. I include myself in that when I'm asking you and pleading with you to be critical and skeptical. So I'm sharing with you the story of I think taking some time off was great for me. I have renewed and refocused and so excited to share a podcast with you just about every other week. I'm planning on doing maybe a little bit of a mix of me just talking about a topic. And then also me interviewing somebody I've gotten feedback that a lot of you seem to really like win when I explore a topic sort of on my own, and then a kind of a mix of interview style versus me exploring a topic. If you have feedback about that I'd love to hear it love to know, what your opinion is. But so far a lot of people have told me that that it's helpful to kind of have both. So that's my plan every other week with the blah, or with the podcast every other week with the blog feel free to check out this brand new online course, I stand behind it. I think it is really really good. I'm excited. About sort of helping people walk away from the trap of trying to not diet and trying to really dive into this world of will what do you actually do? Instead, what does it mean to heal your relationship with food? What does that look like what's the? You know, what's how do you move beyond just trying to not diet, and how do you move into what you actually do? So the course brief overview the course dives really deep into the physiology and the psychology of whites don't work. And then we go into how do you rebuild a healthy relationship with food and the four pillars of a healthy relationship with food that we talk about our mindfulness body liberation intuitive eating and then positive nutrition. So each of those pillars, we dive into really in depth and in the intuitive eating tiller actually walk you through the book. So I ask everybody who takes the course to purchase a copy of the intuitive eating book. I walk you through each of the principals, and I ask you to read each of them before you watch the course about the principles this is based on years and years of feedback from clients who tell me that they love the intuitive eating book, but it can get kind of confusing. A little bit of help to get through. It could be helpful. So I give that to you in the third pillar and the fourth pillar is all about how do you actually create a positive approach to food? What does that look like how do you food and nutrition in a positive realistic and sustainable way? So the course has an interactive component where you can join with others in the community of folks who are taking the course to ask questions to explore. I pop in there. I answer questions I provide support in courage -ment along the way, and what's nice about that is through the years of teaching in person groups and courses people have told me that they want a way to sort of have the learning not end when they are. When they're done with the content. They want to still be able to kind of have a way to stay immersed in the content. So that's what I'm doing there and thrilled about the fact that we have a sixty one page workbook. In addition to the the course materials, you are the courses. Open for enrollment anytime. There's no gimmicky marketing tactic. That says, you know, twenty four hours, and that's it. And I'm in a close close the cart. I am just letting you often if in win it feels like you're ready for it or you or you wanna participate this content is probably if I had to estimate about what I can do with a client in six to twelve months of nutrition therapy for a fraction of the cost, obviously. And I'm just thrilled about what I've put together. So if you're interested in what do I actually do what does this look like how do I make? This real and practical and in real life. Check out. The course see if what it has to offer might feel like it's a good fit for you. You can find that at positive dash nutrition dot com slash academy. And again the courses called positive nutrition for life don't confuse that with the course that I released in September two thousand eighteen called positive nutrition one. That course is all about the science of nutrition without the gimmicks. So that's diving into topics like metabolism nutrients. Micro baccarat nutrients got health exercise, grocery shopping, all of those types of topics a little bit more when you're ready for the gentle nutrition side of intuitive eating so feel free to check both of those out see which one might feel like a good fit for you. And again, if you've gotten anything out of the podcast through the years that the course is the podcast. You know, really really way warned up than way, more practical way more. Okay. Let's talk about how this realize. So again, I just want to encourage all of you to critically consume your media around nutrition and health, and otherwise I want to encourage you along the path where you're walking whether it's trying to work on body, positively or if you're working on your own approach to food or you're in eating disorder recovery. Or if you are recovering from chronic dieting, I'm here for you. I feel for you. I see you and I'm so excited to support you along the way. However that looks whether that's the podcast or the blog or social media or one of my online courses or even if you work with me in my practice in Salt Lake City, thanks for being here. Thank for being a supporter and a listener of the podcast. It means the world to me all of you are the most fantastic humans in the entire world. I'm glad you're in my life. I'm glad I'm in yours. And I hope that you have a fabulous two thousand nineteen. I look forward to connecting with you in a couple of weeks for our next podcast episode. Take care. Well, I sincerely hope you've enjoyed this conversation. If you haven't already please go ahead and leave her view on I tunes. Thanks again. So much for listening, and we'll see soon for another episode.
Aired 4 months ago 33:54
POWER and PURPOSE in the PIT | 021
Most people fear the pit because in the pit it's dark in the pit. It's scary in the pit is our pain. Last episode I talked about the pit and the darkness of the pit being the very place that the portal to the light is actually found. We have been deceived. We have been taught to fear the pit. We have been taught to fear the darkness. We have been taught to that. The darkness is bad, that the darkness is evil. Don't go into the darkness. Avoid the darkness at all costs. Light is good. Yes, light is good. But you cannot have light without darkness. You cannot experience light without the contrast of the darkness. And I'm going to add on in this episode to the concept of the pit to tell you that you will never be able to truly know and experience power and purpose unless you are willing to go all the way into your pit. For me, I've had a couple major major experiences of going into my pit. I described one of them last week. It was in reference to the lead up to warrior week. I experienced this bath tub full of blood. You can listen to that episode if you don't know what I'm talking about. I had two more experiences that were life altering visions in my pit, and I've had hundreds hundreds of other experiences of going into my darkness on a daily basis through a tool that we use called the stack. The stack is the most powerful tool in the tool kit of the warriors way. I'm not going to go into it now what it is a tool that actually brings and allows us to step into the darkness of our emotions and our pain, and to go through a process, a self guided process of discovering the light and the revelation within that darkness. But these two additional life altering experiences of my pit were regarding my wife. At warrior week. I experienced going into my pit and what I saw in my pit was vision of an incident that had happened. A while before it was an incident of my wife sitting on the floor of our bathroom in the master bathroom. It was late at night. She and I had been fighting for a long period of time are mere marriage was in darkness in turmoil. It was on the brink of collapse. It was on the brink of destruction and devastation. And in this particular fight, it got so bad that my wife went and locked herself in the bathroom. Actually, she didn't lock herself. She just shut the door to the bathroom. And I was feeling I could actually help ably feel the darkness. The evil swirling about swirling about her. I knew that she was thinking evil thoughts. I didn't know at the time what they were. I later found out that she was very strongly being overwhelmed with thoughts of suicide. And I sat there on the bed about twenty feet away. And my heart was cold. My heart was absolutely cold filled with bitterness, filled with resentment filled with judgment. Filled with hatred. And I was so cold that I knew that something very evil was happening to my wife. And I sat there and I did nothing. At one point I went to the door to listen to see if I could hear anything. Eventually, I'm not quite sure how. How that night ended. I'm pretty sure that after an hour or two, she came out of the bathroom. She hadn't done anything. She's a strong woman, strongest woman. I know. But in my pit. When I went into my pit when I allowed myself and chose to face the darkness and the pain in my own heart and soul and chose to step into it through the process of warrior week, I chose to allow the trainers to guide me into my pit. When I went there, I saw her. I saw in my mind, I saw in a vision what I did not see physically that night. I saw her on the floor sitting there. Sitting on the floor knees to trust. Darkness swirling and the most soul crushing pain in her eyes. And in that moment. Facing my pet. I experienced my soul being crushed. I experienced the knowing of what I had done, what I had contributed to her being in that spot. And more so the coldness of my heart toward the woman who loved me more than anyone on the earth and who had given her entire life to me. Stayed by my side. Never faltered. And that I could be so cold so cruel. So heartless. It absolutely shredded me. I broke down. I broke down when I saw that. And I felt the full weight of the guilt and the shame. I felt the full weight of all the blame in the resentment that I had toward her and all the anger I had expressed toward her through the years. But in that pit, there was a gift. In that pit. There was a gift. And after that moment. For several months, even until today. Over a year later. I had discovered the power. And the purpose of my life in that moment. I'm going to share with you the next story out. Come back to this one. The next one was an event called warrior con. It was the second event where there were not sure how many think well over five hundred men. Living the warriors way who all came together at an event. And at this event. At this event. We all were once again, guided into our pits and Rockin. Describe exactly how or what that experience was like only to say that it was. I have never experienced anything. Anything. Like that moment with five hundred other men going into the pit together. And in this pit. This time I had another vision. It was also of my wife. I could see her far beneath the ocean. It was green. It was dark. It was murky, and I could see her floating down there. And I dove in the water and I swam toward her pulling myself further down in down in down. And as I got closer, I noticed that she was pale. And as I got even closer, I noticed that she was dead. Her body was literally bloated. She was pale and lifeless and bloated and floating there with your eyes open and her hair swishing in the current of the murky ocean water far beneath the surface. And I swear up to her. And I got face to face with her, and I had her in my two hands. The two of us floating, they're me holding my dead wife. And at this moment, in the experience, something rose up in my heart. A fire began to burn in my heart. And it began to build in my gut and rise up through my chest and come out. Up to my throat. And I decided in that moment to release the fire and all I could do. Was I began screaming, no. No. No. No. And there was a table in front of me physically in the room, and I grabbed the table in, I began pounding on the table and slamming the table to the ground as I said, and I shouted at the top of my lungs over and over and over no. And I shouted with the entire fire and power. That I have within me and I slam the table over and over and over. And I don't know how long this went on for. I do not. I lost track of time. And eventually something happened. A little glimmer of light in this vision of my wife. A little glimmer of light came into her eyes. And a little sparkle began to appear. And as I saw that sparkle, I had her in my hands. And I moved into her and I kissed her on the lips. I kissed her corpse on her cold lips with her bloated face. In as I kissed her, I could see the light coming into her eyes. And I could see her skin start to change from pale and bloated, and I could see life starting to come back into her body until as I was kissing her and holding her, her body became alive. She became alive in my arms. And I am braised her and I held her so fucking tight. And I began to kick and we began to swirl upward. Toward the top with her. Just looking into my eyes. Emme looking into her eyes and swirling upward and upward and upward. Toward the light. These two experiences. Have shaped my life for the last year. Shaped it. Like literally these experiences empowered me in a way that I have never been empowered in my life. And gave me a purpose in my life that I have never experienced before. And I discovered in the pit. I discovered the core. The core of my power is my wife. And I discovered. The kernel of my purpose. And it wasn't just this nebulous intangible discovery is very specific. See there were very specific things in our marriage that I needed to heal. That I needed to own as the leader in our marriage. And that revelation from that pit, that vision in that pit and the pain within that vision. On the other side of that pain was the power to embrace, complete and utter responsibility for everything that had happened in our marriage. Why? Because I am the leader. And as the leader, I was able to own one hundred percent responsibility for those. I lead. Now my wife has her own shit. She has stuff to deal with and that's between her and God and some of it with me. But at the end of the day, I found the power to stop being the fucking victim. And step up and to be the leader and to own responsibility, and to begin to lead my wife and my kids, my family and my kingdom in a way that I have never led them as a man as a husband as father before. They became my purpose. In that moment. I knew my purpose clearly was to heal my marriage and my family. Part of the healing of that marriage of my marriage with my wife was revealed to me in the second vision. See, my wife has had health issues our entire marriage. Like literally major health issues, life threatening health issues. And right around the time of the first vision we've found out we found out it was actually right after that time we found out through the voice leading me as a leader in our marriage. Leading me as to what to do to help her on one more journey. One more step of this journey of discovering what the hell's wrong with her health. And instead of blaming her shaming her resenting her for not being able to figure out what the hell was going on to just listen to my heart and listen to the voice and the voice lead us. To look at something with her teeth. And lo and behold, within two months of the initial vision in my pit, we've found out that she has had an infection in a root canal tooth in the job that went undetected for over twenty years. Twenty years. In that second vision which happened within three months of the I, I got very clear very clear that my purpose is to lead my wife and to lead her to take care of her health at any cost. Because if I don't, she is going to die. And that. That is how I end up within five months of that vision. The second vision of her under the water, bloated and dead. Making the decision. To move my family across the country from Cleveland, Ohio, where we were born and raised where our family is, where our roots are across the country to the one area of the country, the central coast of California. Where there is good enough climate. In quality of the air for her to heal her physical body. In I knew I knew in a moment it was a no-brainer. As soon as the voice said, you must move. We moved within three months. Of the voice saying, you must move your family across the country. Now within three months. We had sold our house, found another house and moved our entire family. Across the country. We didn't know anyone here. We still don't know really anyone. Never been here. Never. We driven through twenty years ago. Didn't know anyone didn't know the place, but the voice said, go, and we went. And what is the result. Within a couple months of us being out here. My wife's health is beginning to turn. She is beginning to heal her body. Now, why do I tell you these stories. I coach hundreds of men now. I came on time with wake-up warrior at the beginning of August, and I coach hundreds of men. And these men have one thing in common just like me just like almost every man out there and every woman out there. We all have a pit and we all don't want to go there. We don't fucking want to go into the pain into the darkness. We don't want to do. But here's the thing. Only by going into the darkness. Can you find the power on the other side of the pain in the pit. And only by going into the darkness and finding the power on the other side of the pain. Can you launch into your purpose. Your purpose. The pathway to the utter fulfillment of my purpose is through my family. They are my purpose. They are at the heart of my purpose. They are at the core of my purpose. My wife. My co creator, my partner, my lover, my spouse, my heart of hearts. Is in the middle intertwined in my purpose. See, my purpose is this, my purpose is to be a warrior, bringing light into darkness and truth into lies. My purpose is to be king, bringing order into chaos and dominion into anarchy. My purpose is to be a man bringing healing into pain and love into the void. And my purpose and the beginning of fulfilling my purpose started in my family and specifically. With my wife. And I found the beginning of my purpose in the pit. And I found the fire in the power to live my purpose in the pit. Jesus went into the pit. He went into the pit of pets. He did not want to go into the pit. He prayed in gifts, semi was sweat drops of blood. He asked the father three times, please do I have to drink this Cup father. Can you please take this Cup from me? But not my will be years be done. He went into the pit. He went into the pit of Hades. He entered into the pit of hell. What did he do in the pit. He discovered. He on locked. He on the leash. He tapped into. The resurrection power. You see, Jesus had been living a life displaying and giving life and light, even raising the dead. But he himself had not yet brought his physical body. All the way in. He himself in his physical body, did not experience the power of resurrection until he entered all the way into the darkness of the pit until he went all the way into Haiti's experiencing death. Experiencing separation abandonment by the father father, father, why have you foresaken me. And yet in the darkest night. In the pit of hell. Something was burning within him. The power of the resurrection life of God, the creator, the father, the source of everything burned in him, it earned in him and the power of that resurrection consumed even his physical body and he walked through the pit and he walked out of the pit. Out of death by the power of his resurrection. And in so doing in raising himself by the power of the resurrection that was in him, he stepped into the fulfillment of his purpose. And the beginning of his purpose in time. You see this. DC this. Every man I work with. They have one thing in common. They don't wanna go to their pit. Like. I am not. I'm not a nihilistic if that's the word I do not enjoy pain. Okay. That's not me. I don't enjoy it. Like literally, I've told you a little bit about my wrestling career. I was a bad ass. Here's one thing. I didn't tell you one states my junior year. And then my senior year, I decided I decided. That because Mondays typically the toughest practice. And I knew I was going to dominate. I knew I was dominating. I decided just about every Monday to have my mom call me in sick to school. Why? Because I did not want to experience the pain of those practices every Monday. It was so bad, and it was so predictable that one time I actually did go into school Monday. I can't remember my mom refused to call in or something happened, or if I just decide or had a major test or something like that. And I ended up at practice on a Monday in one of the coaches looked at me and said, hey, Neider, what are you doing here? It's Monday. None of us wants to go to the pain. None of the men that I coach who come to me with business problems. Marriage problems. Connection to God problems. When I tell them, look, here's the deal and I begin to lead them toward their pit. None of them wanna go there and none of them come on the calls hoping expecting to go there. They wanna solution gimme a road map in my business, helped me with marketing, help me solve my problem in my marriage. Well. Here's the deal. The deal is you wanna solve your problems. You need power. And you need purpose. You wanna find power and purpose. You're gonna have to go into your pit. You're gonna have to go into your pit. Now I can walk you there. I can walk you to the gate. I can even help in walk by your side into the darkness and assist as you step in feel your way through in the scary place, but I can't make choice. The step in, I can't make choice to face it. You're paying your darkness and walk into it for you. You must make that choice, but this is what I can tell you. On the other side of that pain, there's power like you have never experienced before. On the other side of that pain. There is a purpose. There is a purpose that you could enter into that will change your life forever. So ask you to consider today where in your life. Are you a void ING? The pit. Where in your life, have you pushed that pain? So far down and you avoided at all costs? It begins to rise up in u-turn, and you run away as fast as you can use sedate with alcohol with drugs with porn, with work with working out with Facebook with podcasts. Was social media with net flicks. Because you just don't wanna face the pain. Let alone walk into it, whereas this happening in your life as happening related to your body. Is this happening? Is this pit related to your connection to God? Your lack of purpose in your life? Is this pit in your marriage with your kids. Is this pit in your business. Where is it. What is it. Is it time. Is it time for you to face the pain in your pit so that you can find the light in the darkness in the power and beyond the main.
THE CHURCH IS BROKEN WITH SAM NEIDER