35 Burst results for "Trauma"
Paris Jackson says paparazzi caused her long-term trauma
"The trunk of a famous musician is talking about some of the challenges he's been facing usually when you think of posttraumatic stress disorder you think about being triggered by the sounds of bombs or bullets for Paris Jackson the sounds they give her anxiety all the rapid fire shutter clicks of paparazzi in an appearance on red table talk Michael Johnson's daughter says she still has what she calls auditory hallucinations whenever she hears a camera fire or sometimes hearing the rustling of a trash bag Paris Jackson says she's had therapy to address the long term anxiety and trauma from being the much photographed child of a celebrity she talks about her issues at the red table with willow Smith the daughter of will and jade a Pinkett Smith red table talk airs Wednesdays on Facebook watch I'm Oscar wells Gabriel
Hour-Long Partial Internet Outage Brings Humanity to Its Knees
"Was given a chilling peek behind the wireless cuts in all future chaos on tuesday when a global internet outage thoughts on this closed some websites for an hour It was truly harrowing for The planet's greatest species the human race with the loss of such sites as gideon website amazon. Read it and social media sites such as clank garbage g. o. p. o. j. toward la and ephemera where people post three second videos of themselves suffering existential angst Humanity was brought to its quivering. Nays and several major religions declared a full on magadan During the outage the uk government website went down which led to a fifty eight minute. Golden age of joy hope and productivity before normality was thankfully restored. Now i'm alex clearly this This is probably the most traumatic thing that's ever happened to The world How how did you both cope with with with a trauma. I found it a real relief and just the prospect that this was. The beginning of the end was quite a relief Most spent their whole time. Trying to identify which sites were up and down i started to separate doomsday cults and set them against each other. I don't know what you didn't have found one of the fascinating things was. Everyone had an opinion about what should be done or what was happening. Even nobody had any information about what was happening. It was revealed if nothing else that nobody knows how any of it works especially the people who think they do and definitely not the people whose job it was to make it work. My problem is that none of the good stuff that you want the internet to go down with ever goes down like my online mortgage payment went through which is really really painful. And i've had no internet for a couple of days because of the monsoon situation and we don't have any aeroplanes coming and going to india's you know which leads to the question. Maybe you guys know this now. The world with all its essential elements greed tiktok. That's still around. Alice and when we don't we don't really know that's the thing with internet outages is it does. It does lead to people questioning whether anything exists. If it's not being you know life blocked in some way
Humanity Brought to Its Knees With Hour-Long Partial Internet Outage
"Top story this week the world was given a chilling peek behind the wireless cuts in all future chaos on tuesday when a global internet outage thoughts on this closed some websites for an hour It was truly harrowing for The planet's greatest species the human race with the loss of such sites as gideon website amazon. Read it and social media sites such as clank garbage g. o. p. o. j. toward la and ephemera where people post three second videos of themselves suffering existential angst Humanity was brought to its quivering. Nays and several major religions declared a full on magadan During the outage the uk government website went down which led to a fifty eight minute. Golden age of joy hope and productivity before normality was thankfully restored. Now i'm alex clearly this This is probably the most traumatic thing that's ever happened to The world How how did you both cope with with with a trauma. I found it a real relief and just the prospect that this was. The beginning of the end was quite a relief Most spent their whole time. Trying to identify which sites were up and down i started to separate doomsday cults and set them against each other. I don't know what you didn't have found one of the fascinating things was. Everyone had an opinion about what should be done or what was happening. Even nobody had any information about what was happening. It was revealed if nothing else that nobody knows how any of it works especially the people who think they do and definitely not the people whose job it was to make it work. My problem is that none of the good stuff that you want the internet to go down with ever goes down like my online mortgage payment went through which is really really painful. And i've had no internet for a couple of days because of the monsoon situation and we don't have any aeroplanes coming and going to india's you know which leads to the question. Maybe you guys know this now. The world with all its essential elements greed tiktok. That's still around. Alice and when we don't we don't really know that's the thing with internet outages is it does. It does lead to people questioning whether anything exists. If it's not being you know life blocked in some way
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Like that but in terms of your the way it affects you. It affects you on a daily basis. That is extreme. It's extreme abuse. There's no other word for it right and he still able to be in contact with me. Unfortunately because of our children would sleeps the door open just for him to continue to abuse me exactly and people. Just don't understand that like that living in this constant state of something that you do your best to set boundaries. You do your best to heal you. Do your best to move on. You know all those things that are healthy. It's literally it's not impossible. You will live an amazing life and things will get better for you over time. But that they don't understand that there's no way to stop him from abusing you right in shame because you know our judicial system and even so much as like counseling like for co parent counseling and understand and it's difficult because it's like the boundaries that you set up our ben having to be torn down or changed because you have to follow the parenting plan or something Parenting plan on kind of legal plan. Have you ever talked to the legal system or your attorney about. You're being emotionally and psychologically abused and you need a parallel parenting plan He is very well aware. We just started a second co current counseling. And i do want to ask if we could do a parallel parenting. And let's see how buckles. Yeah yeah it's a difficult situation and it's ongoing and the divorce doesn't stop the abuse however divorce does protect us from things like financial abuse can protect us from a lot. It can protect us from a lot of things but it can't stop the abuse outright. So that's what's really difficult and so many victims now are and praying and praying for justice. All over the world. And i wonder if god is waiting for some big. I don't know that all of our prayers will be answered sort of simultaneously. Because i think in our own personal lives. It seems like our prayers to just be free of this are not happening. Ray i mean it just seems like it's ongoing. How is your relationship with god. Considering this considering that if feels like we pray and pray pray and the our prayers aren't being answered now. I guess it's it's kind of like any relationship. There's time i've got his right by my side and ask for gifts be through the day and then there are times that i'm asking word where argue. I don't feel you so hard. I'd always have faith in our lord. I know he is there but to feel him. Just makes it so much more doable to get through this situation. it's tough. I couldn't do it without my faith. I couldn't do it without god. And i am grateful for that. But it's hard i to pray for truth and i mike lord. I need truth to come out soon. I need it soon. So hasn't been answered yet. But i know that god is always working in this series ways. So i'm just hoping and living in hope that it will come out at some point. Yeah i had a discussion with god the other day he was like i answer so many of your prayers. You don't notice. 'cause you're focus on these other ones. And i was like but i don't care about those other ones. These are the ones i want you to answer. Answer them know. Why are you not answering them. I'm so mad at you. Think i mean things come on and you don't even know and i guess we don't know but it is frustrating to feel like. He helped me with this thing and helped me with that thing. But why can't you help me with this big thing in the just so i don't have to have any more contact with my abuser. Which is a really big thing right. That's one of my prayers. And i find it going to like sinful ball sometimes which i try not to but mike him getting hit by a bus a totally the rare but then i do think what got you to my children so i do have to remember that there is not just me in the situation however it also to me would be protection for my children because they are abused as well exactly. Yeah yeah. I wonder about all those old testament. Stories of the wicked being smitten. I'm wondering like. I wonder if that's coming down the pike. I don't know. I don't know but i know that the best we can do is to be obedient women faith obedient to the commandments. And do the best. We can under very difficult situation right. And hopefully in god's time it will come out. Hopefully it's hard if you could go back in time and share with your younger self anything. What would you tell her. I guess to be so trusting to go with your gut feeling and if you are doubting anything just don't don't second guess look into a little bit more and be sure who and spend the rest of your life with take some time to really get to know the person. It's interesting though. If you don't know what you're looking for you don't know i mean you could spend time with them and not see it right because we all spent years with our abuser and we didn't recognize we were being abused right and that is what happened and i had some odd dreams. That happened and i pretty much ignored them. Which i kind of wish i didn't do. I didn't know when you have a yeah when you have no context for it. It's difficult to see. So that's one of the goals of btr is educate women all over the world about abuse about what it looks like so that we can educate our children. You know so that they can start having a context so that if they have a dream. They have a context for what they're experiencing right. Yeah we'll we'll be here for my children down road you know. They're educated Yeah they're looking for well. Kathleen thank you so much. Will you come on the podcast again to update us about how your voice went. I'd be happy to man. Thank you so much okay. So we'll check back in with her in. I don't know six months to a year and see how you're doing. Thank you so much for being brave in tune your story. Well an thank you for the opportunity to share my story. It's definitely helpful to know that there are other women out there that understand and i'm not alone in this. You were not. There are lots of us so welcome to the club. No one ever wanted to be right. Thanks for the welcome. Summer has started as you know. And summer is so rough so many abusers choose to have some kind of abuse episode. When you're stuck in the car and you can't get out or you're on vacation and you have nowhere to go. I don't know if they do that on purpose. So that you can't escape or you have to put on a happy face around other people. It seems to be a pattern. So if you're experiencing this please make sure that you joined betrayal trauma recovery groups so that you have access to our daily online support groups that are live so that you can get help anywhere that you are and you don't have to wait for an appointment again. You can see our session schedule. Btr dot org. If this podcast is helpful to you please support it. Go to btr dot org. Scroll down to the bottom and click on support the podcast and until next week. Stay safe out there..
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Welcome to betrayal trauma recovery. This is an this week. I'm continuing my conversation with kathleen who was a member of our community..
Katie Thurston's "Sex Positive" Bachelorette Season Kicks Off
"Katie season premiere last night on abc. And if you thought that was wild well y'all have not seen anything yet. My god. I'm a little bit late to this. But katie is the one so i just have to show up do cayman cut in line. I can't believe here. Then you need to get the f out of my way. I would not tell the guys. I didn't come here for the bromance. I came here for followers. Figured this quick sachs's not something. I take lightly. I'm losing you. I'm leaving my mind here. I came here to do. I continue here or do. I just leave now. I'm done. i'm done. I'm done now. These super teases kit crazier every single season. I think the question everyone wants to know is why is there always so much drama. Have we been conditioned to expect this level of drama on the bachelorette and we think anything less as boring lots. That is a lot. I mean y now all of a sudden the minnow cry. The women crying now the is is. What's there's a lot of unnecessary tier. Oh it's amazing. I love it all bring on tears. The trauma the virgins give the everything. He's very cute. By the way
If Canadas Residential Schools Reckoning Is Real, What Happens Next?
"Jordan rawlings. This is the big story either. Jewel is an associate fellow at the yellow head institutes. A first nation led research center which is based on the faculty of arts at toronto school. That has for a long time at least been known as ryerson university. She is initiative bay from kensey being chip was of the thames first nation. Hey eva hi jordan. Thanks for having me. First of all. I wanna thank you for taking the time for us. We waited a week to do this episode just so that when we spoke to indigenous person we wouldn't be making them revisit the trauma that just felt so raw last week for people's around the country so Thank you for being here. Thank you i guess. I want to start with The yellow head institute being based in what has long been known as ryerson university. And i want to start with what happened on sunday and tonight on the ryerson university campus. A statue of edgerton viruses the school's namesake has been knocked over. Ryerson was one of the architects of canada's residential school system. Many students and staff the university along with several other groups have been calling for the removal of the statute for years. So have you seen the video of the statue of egerton. Ryerson being pulled down yes. I have I wasn't there at the site at the time that it was pulled down. I was there a bit before it was pulled down at the in But i have seen that. The statue's has been pulled down. How did it make you feel. It was an amazing moment. And i personally i think back on the times when i had first started at ryerson knowing that The school was named after a person who had put into motion policies that directly impacted my family me and my family.
Pharmas Image Gets a Boost from COVID-19
"Two percent of people now have positive opinion of drug companies. And that's up from last year when it was only thirty two percent so we really gone of course. Public opinion is variable depending on. What's going on the news. And go down although i think that's quite largely but we've gone from this you know martin shkreli farmer burrow era to this apparently real rehabilitation of the pharmaceutical industries reputation through the cobra nineteen vaccine and case global saviors from this pandemic. So today. we're going to take a look at whether they actually deserve this. Newly found positive alert. I totally forgot about murmurs currently until just this moment. Thank you for reminding me of all that trauma so we have an amazing guests today. solo is a clinical pharmacy specialist at the university of chicago medicine. She's also co founders of pharmacists for single payer. Look shannon to the show inky you. Thanks for having me here. I'm really excited service. I'm just curious. How do as far aside you end up getting involved with the medical sheriff so bene- pharmacist for a little over ten years. I spent most of my earlier years working in inpatient settings where you really don't run into as many issues related to insurance or benefit manager as as the world so meaning that i worked in a hostile insurance hospitals every now and then this would come up. We'd want to discharge patients or child. They need an antibiotic wouldn't be covered in the nfc in hostels additional day while we tried to sort out how we can safely home for most of the time it was in you know you have the medications at our hospital wasn't much of a focus for me and then a few years ago i switch. You were primarily in using areas so not much community pharmacy but were in connects with physician and other care worker colleagues and in a specialty pharmacy role later. Working with really high cost drugs so think it was there that i started to encounter. How much of a barrier our system is in terms of getting by patients issues. Amy through that experience. I suppose is pretty fired up about that meets vans. You were involved in position for national health program and got more involved with that organization in an amnesty.
Celebrating Juneteenth in the Carceral State With Ebony Underwood
"Ebony. What does black liberation look like to you. Freedom black liberation looks like freedom and what freedom means to me is economic stability in means housing opportunities. It means educational opportunities it means health and wellness lack liberation to me all those things i can dive in deep leagues in to each of those but if i just blanket that statement for me it means things and having the freedom and the ability to have the best of all those things and how does the work that you do work towards that vision of black liberation well founded it a nonprofit but we got us now dot org. It's a national nonprofit nonpartisan organization built by led by and about children and young adults who have been impacted by rental incarceration And the reason why i founded is because i was a daughter of apparent that had been incarcerated for thirty three years. My father was released. This january twenty twenty one after serving thirty three years in prison and for the majority of that time that he was incarcerated. I had never spoken publicly about him being incarcerated mainly because of the trauma because of the stigma because of the shame of incarceration. Not knowing that there was this thing called incarceration until dump seven years ago and not knowing that people were actually empathetic to the issue. There were no support systems for my family got arrested. There was nothing and to me. Bad just was heartbreaking. Especially because i found out that people were empathetic to this issue and then i realized wow when people look to the military. They censored the children when people are divorced. They sent to the children when there's in-depth apparent. They censored the children when a parent is incarcerated one through the children. Nothing there is no support
Let's Talk About Trauma and How to Heal
"Hi everyone it's some. How excited are you. I'm really excited. I am very hopeful that this summer we will be taking better care of ourselves better care of each other and we're all in this world having a more content driven life. Not sure it's going to happen. A certainly not just gonna happen for me. But that's what i'm putting out to the universe this morning as i'm recording this podcast and i'm hopeful that in our little piece of the universe for everyone listening we can put that out there for ourselves today. All right with that said i would love for everybody to take collective big breath in hold it for a little bit and then let it out. Why because today peeps. We're gonna talk about trauma and this can be a heavy subject but as usual. I'm gonna try and have a little fun with it where we can overall. I want for you to learn more about what trauma is how trauma has changed in definition over the years. And what you can do to feel better. If you have experienced trauma in your life when bad things happen to us it can take a while to get over those feelings. The pain and feel safe again but most of us don't really get over it you know. That's not one of my favorite phrases and the reason is is because trauma lives deep inside of us
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Yeah <Speech_Female> <SpeakerChange> <Silence> <Speech_Male> <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> <hes> i've seen <Speech_Female> that happen to. <Speech_Female> It's really interesting. <Speech_Female> Even a couple of <Speech_Female> friends that we had <Speech_Female> that her husband <Speech_Female> is <SpeakerChange> also <Silence> a porn user <Speech_Female> have decided <Speech_Female> to side with my <Speech_Female> ex <Speech_Female> and i just think <Speech_Female> that's really interesting but <Speech_Female> they're still married so <Silence> i wonder if they think <Speech_Female> well <Speech_Female> if we talk <Speech_Female> to an you know. <Speech_Female> She's so <Speech_Female> intent on calling <Speech_Female> this abuse. Maybe <Speech_Male> our <Speech_Male> marriage would be in <Speech_Male> jeopardy so <Speech_Female> we don't really want to go down <Speech_Male> that route. I i'm <Speech_Male> not sure why they've <Speech_Male> decided to do that. But <Speech_Male> he's still exhibiting <Silence> abusive behaviors <Speech_Female> from my <Speech_Female> perspective. But of course <Speech_Female> they can't see <Speech_Female> that. <Speech_Female> So i'm like <Speech_Female> why would you want to be friends <Speech_Female> with an abuser. <Speech_Female> That it makes no sense <Silence> to me but <Speech_Female> right <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Female> and <Speech_Female> also. I think we <Speech_Female> can clearly see that. <Speech_Female> They're lying and manipulating <Speech_Female> people. <SpeakerChange> But <Speech_Female> they can't see it <Speech_Female> no and <Speech_Female> you know there's <Speech_Female> a part of me that has little <Speech_Female> sympathy for <Speech_Female> a third party people. <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> I believed <Speech_Female> my husband's lies <Speech_Female> for years <Speech_Music_Female> My whole <Speech_Female> ship was <SpeakerChange> based <Silence> on lies. <Silence> Yep <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> well and if we couldn't <Speech_Female> see it right <Speech_Female> then my they <Speech_Female> don't even live with him <Speech_Female> so of course it would be <Speech_Female> hard for them to see to <Speech_Female> write <Silence> these good at lying <Speech_Male> <Speech_Female> Good manipulation <Speech_Female> get a good at grooming <Speech_Female> really <Silence> early <Silence> <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Female> so a lot <Speech_Female> of women <Speech_Female> who are hoping that <Speech_Female> their relationship <Speech_Male> is going to workout <Speech_Female> and hoping <Speech_Female> that once <Speech_Female> confronted about <Speech_Female> his abusive behaviors <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> that he can <Speech_Female> get into some <Speech_Female> program and get <Speech_Female> help and if <Speech_Female> they go down <Speech_Female> the pornography addiction recovery <Speech_Female> route <Speech_Female> many cease <Speech_Male> hats. Do <Speech_Male> what is known. As a full <Speech_Male> disclosure <Speech_Male> where the abuser <Speech_Male> is supposed <Speech_Male> to <Speech_Male> outline all <Speech_Male> of his <Speech_Female> indiscretions <Speech_Female> but doesn't necessarily <Speech_Male> include <Speech_Male> all abuse <Speech_Male> episodes. <Speech_Female> So <Speech_Female> since you went down <Speech_Female> that route for a little <Speech_Female> while did you ever <Speech_Female> have a quote <Speech_Female> unquote full disclosure <Speech_Female> with the help of a pornography <Silence> <Advertisement> addiction <SpeakerChange> specialist <Silence> <Advertisement> <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> now. Unfortunately <Silence> <Advertisement> i did not <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> <Speech_Female> anything that i <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> found out <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> about. My husband was <Speech_Female> either me finding <Speech_Female> out by <Silence> catching him <Speech_Female> or <Speech_Female> him. <Speech_Female> Over the years <Speech_Female> basically <Speech_Female> drip beating <Speech_Female> me information. <Speech_Female> And i would <SpeakerChange> figure <Speech_Female> things out <Speech_Female> you <Speech_Female> say unfortunately. <Speech_Male> Is that something that you <Speech_Male> think <Speech_Male> would have helped do <Speech_Female> or <SpeakerChange> what did you <Speech_Female> say. Unfortunately <Speech_Female> well i guess <Speech_Female> i say unfortunately <Speech_Female> because <Speech_Female> without any <Speech_Female> truth <Silence> there is no <Speech_Female> basis <Speech_Female> for your relationship <Speech_Female> and i <Silence> <Advertisement> never received truth. <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> So <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Female> that's part of <Speech_Female> the reason. Remain <Speech_Female> reason why <Speech_Female> <SpeakerChange> my marriage <Silence> fell apart. <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> It was just <Silence> <Advertisement> never <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> bound <Silence> to make it from the get-go <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> but <Speech_Female> if i had some truth <Speech_Female> at some point <Speech_Female> if he was truthful <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> with me i felt like <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> feel like maybe <Silence> we
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"My situation. I was somebody being mistreated in a in a marriage where pornography was used and that was part of it. I never really wanted to go to marriage counseling. For some reason. I knew in my gut. It was not a marriage issue. I knew it was important issue and his problem from his his childhood. So i was grateful for that but it was really hard to find help. When did you find here. I think i found it probably about a year. And a half ago maybe two years ago just happened to find a feature on line and solve their podcast and religiously started to listen because it was the only place that really got. What did you think after years of the help him be gentle with him because he's has his childhood problems you know. Let's try not to trigger am. Don't shame him. You know those types of are you a good wife for you giving him sex when he needs it. You know whatever things you got. What did you think after coming to be. Tr in listening. What did that feel like for you. I guess i just felt like there was a place that stood what it really was and i knew that it was just the right place to be to get the information that i needed to educate myself so a lot of this. I knew but i didn't really educate myself until after ali separated from my husband. It's like you know it in your gut but you don't have words for it. You don't have a place to process it appropriately because if you try to process it with like the pornography addiction people and they tell you know it's you and you need to be patient or whatever it halts you're processing right kind of stops you and so you can't quite ever. It's like floating around but you can't ever grab it. It's like foggy and you can't quite get out of that fog right..
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Why don't you start with your backstory. What was your situation. So i guess from day one of my marriage. I just felt like something. Just wasn't right and i could never put my finger on it. We were i thought happily married had a child and then her surely after my second child was born i just ahead a feeling that something wasn't right and i found out unfortunately that my husband was into pornography and that was just devastating. I just felt like everything was over. Although i didn't want and the marriage i just felt like my perfect world with my newer marriage. My children are are sweet. Little family was just ruined. It just was not what i thought it was and we immediately tried to get help. He unfortunately was lying to me about the cause of his use of pornography. He blamed it on my pregnancy. With my first and second child i later found out that he was addicted to porn. Since he was a child he was about eight years old when he started a long story. Short many years down the road found out that he was sexually abused by brethren cousin as well so it just for years went on him dabbling in help never getting real help or getting recovery. And i just kept with it trying to stay strong trying to stay in the marriage. I never even really thought about leaving the marriage but we just kept going and we had our good times and our bad times and when things were bad they were very bad. Things were good sometimes but it was really not much to hold onto so we went on like this for probably fourteen fifteen years until we started to get help together and through working with them over about two year period. I started to see and they also start to see that my husband just did not want to do the work together better so they had to stop working with him which then made us pretty much come.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Welcome to betrayal trauma recovery. This is an we have kathleen who is a member of our community on.
Ben Okri Reads Franz Kafka
"Hi ben. Welcome so when we started talking about doing the podcast. one thing. That was very clear to me. Was that you feel an affinity with kafka's work. What is it that makes what he does important to. You is hard to say the more you read kafka the more confusing it is actually He's someone who gets more mysterious with more. Acquaintance is very strange. And i think it's the deceptive quality. Has i think. Actually i think is the way. His mind probes reality. It's a universalising quantity that his mind has. He's trying to himself either because of some deep trauma in his life because of what he felt about life at trained himself as a storyteller to constantly allegra allies while at the same time being deeply particular and nobody no other writer developed it to the degree That he had and also like his voice is voices. Most peculiar of course. I don't read the german and the same german. His voices peculiarly plain sometimes bureaucratically plane but all translations into english and michael's we saw most beautiful while the best he. Has this voice that. Tom manages to bypass your your brain and it goes straight into your psyche. He's found this tone this very normal tone that just slowly shifts Into completely unexpected places without any without any striving
Sobriety vs. Recovery
"One of the things that kate mentions in the beginning of her story is all of the times that she unsuccessfully tried to quit drinking before her sober date in twenty eighteen. She talks about white. Knuckling it and how ultimately that failed for her. I think that most of us who can't quit drinking on our own have had many stops and starts before finally sticks. And that's probably why you're listening to this podcast. A common misconception is that quitting drinking means you just stop drinking alcohol and that's it you're done you don't change anything else. Just remove that one liquid from your glass and that is all. that's sobriety. Sure you know you're not putting that substance in your body anymore. You're sober but you're not making any other changes or improvements or taking any steps to work on the behaviors that likely contributed to your drinking a phrase that you used to hear a lot is dry drunk but we're starting to kind of move away from that language it really contributes to the negative stigmas around substance use but that phrase refers to someone who's quit drinking but has not made any other changes to their behavior in over one hundred thirty episodes of this show. I cannot count how many times i recorded myself saying. It's not about the alcohol. Yes you are drinking the substance that is life ruin her but it's not the alcohol that's the root of the problem. Alcohol is what you drink to cover up what you're feeling what you drink to numb out. What you swallow to wash down your rage or anger or sadness or trauma and once you start depending on alcohol and eventually become addicted to it. It's easy to focus on the substance because so many of the consequences are from the alcohol. The consequences are happening in plain sight. Not inside your mind and don't get me wrong. You have plenty of consequences from alcohol inside your mind but most of us aren't out there getting. Dwi's from unaddressed trauma.
Roxana Preciado on Facing Your Trauma, and Speaking Your Truth
"Just is the preface to my last book trauma for sale. This is the whole and their parts. I am responsible for telling my truth. I cannot hide behind my accomplishments and still future fails in achievements to come. I have to tell my whole truth. I do not wanna tell an incomplete story. This is not braver fair to others who have survived similar struggles and see me thriving. I am scared. But i wanna be brave. I will never be a coward in this book. I include personal photographs and some of my artwork to me and telling my whole truth. I wanna be free. I wanna be honest. The past summer of twenty nineteen. I spent in recovery. Trying my best to heal yet again. Healing is a lifelong process. I am no exception to this. Sometimes i am thriving while other times. I fall apart just like any other. No one is above their flocks humanity yet. i can never be completely healed. The trauma endured is not easily mended. However it gets better. I wanna share the pieces of me that i fear most the naked truth of the trauma that haunts me here is a quick glance. At what got me here at age twelve. I started writing poetry as a coping mechanism to deal with life's challenges. I grew up in a family where my mother was often cold and distant. She was more of a guardian than an actual parents to me. I also had a stepfather and was the eldest of four siblings. Me being the only stepchild to my stepfather. Needless to say i was the black sheep of the family. Growing up i had endured many trials and tribulations. I suffered from mental physical and sexual abuse from those who are supposed to love and protect me. The most
Celtics fan arrested after bottle nearly hits Kyrie
"Trauma. The Boston Celtics are now on the brink of elimination. Last night, the Nets beat the seas 1 41 to 1 26. There was An ugly incident, though a fan accused of throwing what appeared to be a water bottle at
The Dangers of Emotional Stress Impacting Your Physical Well-Being
"Scientists actually discovered that emotional stress. Similar to adorn experience can be a trigger for the growth of tumors as a matter of fact any sort of trauma emotional or physical stress can act as literal pathway between cancerous mutations bringing them together in a potentially fatal combination for example at yale university scientists have discovered that everyday emotional stress is a trigger for the growth tumors. The finding showed that conditions for developing cancer can be significantly affected by your emotional environment including everyday work and family stress in other words. Your risk of developing cancer can be positively or negatively affected by your emotional environment including everyday work physical emotional and relationship stress. The traditional chinese medical view of cancer ideology has long held that emotions are a major contributing factor for cancer author. Son vignon writes in his book cancer treatment and prevention according to our understanding of the tumor patient most have suppression of emotions. They tend to hold in their anger. Although some patients have good results after treatment emotional stimulation can cause them to decline again and then the previous treatment would have been in vain. Some people have a severe phobia about cancer before they know the real disease. They have a lot of suspicion. They know they have cancer. Their whole spirit breaks down. This kind of spiritual state is very bad for treatment. In the book prevention and treatment of carcinoma in traditional chinese medicine. Jiakun gives ten recommendations for cancer prevention in addition to a good environment and personal hygiene proper amounts of physical activity and rest good eating habits and healthy food and avoiding smoking. He states that emotional changes such as worry. Fear hesitation anger irritation and nervousness should be presented mental exhaustion. It's harmful and life should be enriched with entertainment. Chinese medicine author sheila ming and she pecan also mentioned the ideology of various cancers and their book experience in treating carcinomas with traditional chinese medicine. They say the etiological factors of the disease involved chiefly the disturbance of the seven emotions especially melancholy anxiety and anger which are liable to impair the spleen and
Indigenous Fashion: The Politics of Ribbon Skirts, Runways and Resilience
"Abigail echo hawk is here to talk about a ribbon. Dress a traditional symbol of healing. But it's not a typical ribbon dress. She's the chief research officer at seattle indian health board and the director of the urban indian health institute in march of twenty twenty in the early days of the pandemic. She reached out to her federal health partners to ask for some more p. p. e. so the institute could continue to serve the native population in the seattle area instead of receiving masks and testing kits. She was sent bodybags abigail ponti and joins me now. Welcome to the show abigail and so excited to be here. Can you take take me back to that moment. When you opened up the box with the body bags and what happened we had gotten noticed at a large box had arrived at our clinic. We ran downstairs. We hoping for mask and when we opened it up what we saw instead was a box of bodybags. It was absolutely devastating. I remember taking one of the body bags out of the box. In the toe tags fell out of the bag and instantly there were tears in my eyes. Because all i could think about was the elders. I had seen upstairs. Wanting to get tested of our providers were showing their own mass of our executive leadership team. Who had started washing the scrubs of our providers at our own homes in order to ensure that they had what they needed. And when we asked for help bodybags is what we got. What did you think about when you saw what your federal health partners had sent you. When i saw what they had sent us. I wish i had been more surprised. Unfortunately i wasn't as we look at. How the federal government in the united states has provided the treaty obligations for american indians alaska. Natives we know they haven't and in fact they have never fully funded our healthcare systems and as a result of that we've seen our people have high rates of disease. We've seen our people die. And when i thought about it it was almost the perfect metaphor for what the federal government has been doing to us for centuries and that is giving us the thanks to bury our people in and not giving us the resources so are can live. When did you get the idea to transform the body bag into a rib andress. I've been working in healthcare for really long time and it's hard i have seen people die. I've seen are people not receive the resources that they need. And sometimes i'll drive home from my work and just cry all the way home and so i've had to find ways of coping with the trauma that i experience as an indigenous person working native healthcare. And so. I use the cultural traditions. That i have been taught by my aunties my relatives by my
How the Pandemic Effected Uplift Family Services
"I'm join remotely via zoom by faith jackson. The transitional housing program supervisor of uplift family services. Thanks for being here face. Thank you for having me. So could you please provide the audience. Just a quick overview of who apply family service programs. are it's a regional organization with a as ing kind of ecosystem if you will of wraparound services for families definitely so the agency or on is one of the largest most albums the behavioral treatments in california one of the bigger providers each year we serve. Do whatever it takes to help about. Thirty five thousand children and families to manage and recover from challenges coming from trauma such as severe neglect and abuse. Essential life skills that they need to be successful at home or school and in their communes in so short mission statement. Is you know we do whatever it takes to. Strengthen advocate for children families and adults and communities to realize their hopes in behavior health and wellbeing. And then you are. Throughout the bay area you're working in kind of concord east bay but then you also have offices i think in the south bay in west bays recall that's correct as well as out to sacramento so here locally. We asked him oxygen in campbell. There's seven conquer where. I'm out a few supervised the tape program. So if you could explain what tae as we were saying before we came on acronyms are us what tae is. And then what the tape program is in to you. Know who are the residents that you serve great so advance. For transitional age you must pacific program. Supervise is the transitional housing program. Our young people are foster children and their ages range. Any rare which lane sixteen to twenty one am before two thousand well young people at the age of eighteen. We're just put out of foster care and and learn some of the most important life skills
Checking in With Michelle Williams
"Thank you so much for joining us. Today michelle are. Thank you so much for having me like i said before. I'm a huge fan and supporter of therapy for black girls. I think it's brilliant and it's so needed. I appreciate that. So i'm very excited. Your book is out yes may twenty fifth is overly staked perfect perfect and so is called checking in and i would love for you to just start by telling us what you mean by checking in well it definitely was a play on words as will you know from the time twenty eighteen where i actually had to check in to a mental health facility but i learned so much from that time going on three years later and added those three pillars to my book. Checking in with yourself checking with others checking in with guide no particular order. Whatever way you want to do it. But i found that to be very restorative for me And that's also the name of your podcast. Yes it is yes. It is just to normalize people being able to process. They're paying in their trauma. Their transitions even their triumphs. That it should really really help. One's mental health So michelle you know. I think a part of our difficulty or hesitation in checking with others is that we are not always prepared for would they might say. And i'm wondering if you have any suggestions for how we might check in with other people and be prepared for the answers. Oh absolutely there's a few things. If i am going to check in with somebody to tell them how i'm feeling i start off by saying. Hey how are you doing. Hey do you have the emotional capacity to kind of listen to what i'm gonna say because this is just going to be go beyond. Hey girl how you doing And if they say oh yes of course then go on to have the discussion now if somebody calls me and say hey i need to talk to you about something. I'm all ears. Unless i'm like literally like not in a place to talk but you make it a safe place. You'd be a safe person for them. Listen don't come off with solutions. I'm of solutions based person miniature Problem i'm gonna go to google in or i'm gonna go to things off the top of my head. That helped me but sometimes some people just want you to listen
S6 E11 - This is what it's like living with someone with PTSD. . . - Full Episode
"All right you ready. I actually hit record this time here. We go so in the most recent episode of the podcast season six episode ten. I sat down with my wife patricia. I talked to her about the challenges. She has faced in dealing with multiple mental health diagnoses over the years and right after we published that episode. We received an excellent recommendation from a listener. Asking us to tackle the topic of what it's like living with someone with ptsd. And i think patricia. And i are uniquely suited to tackle this since both of us. Have this diagnosis in in. Its for completely different reasons. This episode is going to be an unfiltered. Look at what. It's like to live with someone with post traumatic stress disorder and by way of introduction. This is the we served now. What podcast where. I do my best to answer the questions. Veterans and their families are already asking so you can make your post military life. Your best life money erin perkins. I'm a. us army combat veteran daddy to two amazing kiddos host of this podcast. If you hadn't guessed. And i am joined today again by my beautiful bride patricia. Welcome back to the show thank you. I'm so glad to be here. Well good good so it's been a couple weeks right and last time we talked about the treatments. You're getting and things like that for depression. Talk to us a little bit before. We're gonna dive into the. Ptsd topic talked us a little bit. About how those are going those are going. I'm not going to be very honest. they're painful. I think Winning expecting almost a miracle. I mean you you let somebody shock your head for twenty minutes a day. You expect something but it's actually made my depression a little worse. They said that's normal. It can get worse before it gets better. So actually they're going to re map tomorrow and see if there's a different place. They need to put the magnet. But i think it's gonna go all right. Yeah we hope we hope and pray as well trained for this for that. This works in putting you through a lot of distress but like you said pain to try to to address the depression right. And so that's that's just one part of what can be a result of ptsd another city but the actually brit really brings up our our first thing to talk about is. Let's talk about ptsd a little bit. What it is. And how. I understand it. How do you understand. ptsd how. I understand it is. I mean we all know it stands for post traumatic stress disorder and that can be from your childhood from your teen years from adulthood. Something you went through something. You saw something you experienced. That was just traumatic for you. And i know that it can you know make you. Have you know nightmares it. Can you know how you can have memories of that trauma and then you avoid situations that you know make you think of that trauma and you know a lot of even soldiers you know. They get like hyper vigilant. You know because of how it makes them feel and it can call anxiety and depression as well. I think the hyper vigilance was one of the i. I realize that i that something was wrong right. I knew i had a lot of anger in. I was like i don't know why angry like i'm i'm not in the army anymore. I thought you the anger was just part of just being in the army. You're just mad something every day. And so i thought that it would go away and it didn't in fact he got worse and it. Was that hyper vigilance piece. I always felt. I still do. But i always felt ready. This constant state of readiness hyper vigilant. That's one of the behavioral parts because there's behavioral parts psychological mood in general sleep. And then you know it you can break them all down like you know behavioral is like you know you feel agitated or irritable or hof style or hyper vigilant like you were saying or you know you start doing self destructive things like you know. Drugs are becoming an alcoholic or or if he just completely isolate yourself. That's me raise my hand right there myself psychological as you know flashbacks which i don't have those fear that comes from nowhere severe anxiety failure to trust other people. Because you don't know what's going to happen the mood part of it. You know you lose interest or pleasure in doing stuff that you used to enjoy doing right or you feel like the severe guilt or you are incredibly lonely like you have tons of people around you. You have a family that loves you but you are so lonely and it messes with your sleep. It can cause you to sleep too much. Not enough to have horrific nightmares and a lot of people have detachment from other people and like intrusive thoughts that they just can't get rid of you know that you know. They go through their day and i guess to some other people they might look like legitimate list crazy but they just have these constant like thoughts and some people have to talk it out. You know there's so many parts to ptsd. yeah. I think that's one of the challenges with even realizing that you might have it right because there's so many parts to it. Depression anxiety intrusive thoughts avoiding situations. Not sleeping sleeping too much having horrific nightmares having too much emotion having no emotion at all. There's so many things and so what i was told. People especially veterans is if if something feels off. Don't try to figure out if you have. Ptsd anxiety or depression go to mental health right and talk to the professional about it and let them figure out whether you use the va or you go out to out to in the civilian sector. You go get it checked out. Because there's there's nothing that's not going to hurt you to go get it checked out right and that was a question that i was going to ask you. Is you know like when did you realize you had ptsd. I think it was what year wise was twenty seventeen. I got out and twenty. Fourteen of twenty seventeen anger progressively got worse. The hyper vigilance. And what. I say hyper vigilance. I i don't mean just like you know on edge all the time and i guess that was part of it but for me it was this feeling like i'm about to go into a fight like just ready like i mean you know kind of like almost kind of like a sprinter would be at the starting line. Okay here we go all right. I'm ready. i'm ready and it was like that all the time. That sounds exhausting. It is it really really is it took i say i want to say it took a long time to get past that but truth is i'm up past that no the pd. Has these not a broken limb. You know you can't cast on it and wait six weeks and go back and get the cast off and you're good to go. No i mean people can't get past it it's it. There are stories of people who you know they had. Ptsd and to you know after a few months few years depending on situation you can't get past. It depends on the person. I think it's post traumatic growth right where you know after your trauma you become a stronger person. A bigger percent better person. I don't know if i would. I would say that people ever get over their trauma. They just they build one right in that instead of letting the letting it crush them they use it to to fuel becoming a better person in the end and the thing is it's not always a choice. I don't think this is my opinion right. I don't think it's always a choice whether you get to say like oh. I'm past the worst part of my ptsd. And i'm only headed for post traumatic growth now. I don't even think i've heard that term post traumatic growth. So i don't know. If i would be i don't know if my opinion i mean i hope that's a real thing Veteran futterman talk to me. One time so you're doing it basically you're doing to post traumatic growth thing like you like you know you start a company like you've got a great career you've got a great family you know you've got a beautiful home cars dog you've got all this stuff going for you you're doing life right you're in your a great church like you're doing all these things right and hosting this podcast you're getting so much stuff done okay and i'm like okay cool why don't it feel better yeah really i'm like okay. We'll see if this post traumatic growth. I number one. i'm happy i'm growing. I'm happy growing getting better. getting smarter. Faster stronger whatever it is. I'm happy about that part but like it is this like is post traumatic growth a destination or is it just this constantly journey. Yeah i think it's a journey in. It reminds me of what we heard in church on sunday about walking wounded. And that's what that means is like. Es your wounded mentally sometimes physically but you know ptsd is a mental disorder and your your wounded mentally but you continue to walk. Wounded is when you stop that. There's no growth And so the post traumatic growth is continuing to walk. Even though you're wounded i love. Obviously you we're in the same service. Same church service right and we were both talking about how great it was so we can ask each other. This question okay. What's it like living with me especially within. What's it like living with me. Especially when i'm experiencing some sort of triggering episode so you mentioned 2017 when you first realized that you had p. Tst then it was. You're angry and you know we tried to give you a little bit of space and like you know. Let you breathe calm down. But i think i think you have grown because now you take that space for yourself. You're like i'm going to go run or i'm going to take the dog and we're going to go hike for a few hours. I think that you know living with you. I've able to watch you grow. And and learn how coping mechanisms coping skills. And i think with. Ptsd you have to learn. Those people might not always understand them like. I'm not hiking ninety degree weather with a dog. It's not happening but three you that works that would trigger trigger something not. Ptsd that would trigger anger. It has nothing to do with. Ptsd you you. You've joined small groups that you guys run and you know for exercise in general for you just really helps you a lot of that. Is you know twenty seventeen. We had just moved to alabama and things weren't going the way we wanted them to and life was just really stressful right. And you hadn't even been diagnosed yet. sure sure. So you've you've grown okay. So i don't even ask this question. What do you like living with me. It's amazing it's amazing. I love it. Let next question experiencing some sort of triggering episode. Well i've told you this before but as a man as a husband i feel. It's my duty my job to keep you happy. You know and so a lot of times i think. Ptsd manifests itself in your life as overwhelming depression and crippling anxiety right. And there's not a single thing i can do about it so for me. It's not that living with you is better or worse. Y you know with a triggering episode. It's that my hands are tied right. And so i think it's super frustrating. Because i'm like. I see a problem my wife is in. It's not just unhappy. You know it's like she. Has this a legitimate mental diagnosis. A mental condition that. I can't do anything to fix Frankly doctors can't do anything to fix every single part of that right and that conversation we've had many times because you're like i just want to fix it and i'm like doctors i have and they can't fix it. Release yourself up that burden. You can't fix it and that is so tough as a man who says you know what i'm here to lead my family my wife and my kids and you know kind of you know take charge and we're going to go tackle life together and that is so appreciated but sometimes you just got. It's true it's true like it's nothing you can do. Well that's not true. Okay that's not true space. Give me space. You know like like you did tonight. I had that treatment today and it made me sick today. I was actually really upset stomach today. And i'm just chilling in the bedroom lennon bed phone and you just made dinner that i did that helped i did. I logged off my computer at work and went and made dinner. It was amazing. I don't know if the dinner was amazing. But it's good good good so coming up after the break tricia and i are going to ask each other one more question. We're going to ask this question. Is there anything good about living with someone who has. Ptsd and we're gonna share several takeaways with you. Stay with us. Many americans today don't realize the stress and anxiety they feel is most likely because of their finances according to bankrate.com more than six out of ten people couldn't cover a one thousand dollar emergency seven out of ten. Don't budget regularly. An eight out of ten are living paycheck to paycheck to these describe you. Are you ready to live like others. Can't too many make the mistake of budgeting their lifestyle instead of budgeting their basic needs. I my friend. Marco over at mc business lab has a simple process to automate the basic things. You need to live and then never looking at one of those bills again. Head over to live like can't dot com to get on the wait list for his own line course to learn this automation skill that will significantly reduce your stress anxiety. And if you think one on one attention could be the way for you. You can also schedule your free consultation with marco once again that's live like others can't dot com get on the path to your dream life today all right and we are back and as promised. We're going to talk about ptsd or would keep talking about ptsd right but the question that we have for each other. Do you wanna ask it. I want me to go go ahead. Is there anything good about living with someone who has ptsd. I wrote this question. I still think it's a tough question you know i would not wish. Ptsd on anyone true. I'll start with that so with that in mind. What the good that has come out of it. It helps me to understand other people abso win. I hear about a veteran struggling with. Ptsd or a a veteran's family member or or family member or friend who is struggling with ptsd. I'm like i get it. I know how you feel. I completely understand and so for me. It's if there's anything good. It's that i can better relate to people who are going through the same frustration and anguish and honestly emotional pain when they see their loved one going through this right and i know not everyone copes. Well that's true and so this question might be difficult for some other. Some people listening you know like they're their loved when ptsd is raging alcoholic. Who's angry all the time. In what would you tell that person. That's an even to that. That in itself is even tougher. I think what. I would be telling that person is i. Can't i cannot tell you what you should be experiencing if you're living with someone with ptsd and you're like you know my spouses a raging alcoholic as a result of pd. St how do i find good in that. I can't tell you what good you should find. I i'm in no place to tell you that the only thing i can do is point you to the one that is jesus christ the principe who can give you peace in the situation and and the bible even says you know piece that passes all understanding basically piece. That doesn't make sense. So i can't tell you. This is what you should be feeling. This is what you should be experiencing. But i can recommend you to eat a formula so to speak of how to live better in that situation right and and i would add onto that to a more. You know just. I don't know. Do we say worldly. Come that. Try to under try to understand. Don't don't try to fix but like research. See how you can help your one with ptsd. Because i think not. Understanding is a part of the problem right for years i had. Ptsd and you did not. You didn't understand it in in mind would manifest in depression anxiety in the soldier new said just go exercise pushups drink water burpee strength water and i'm like you so don't get it and it was true i didn't you act totally asked you to research it to better understand it and you you did better understand it but now that you have experienced for yourself it's completely different really it. It really really is just just so different when you experience it for yourself. So i'll ask you the same question. Is there anything good about living with someone who has ptsd. I think it teaches you. How similar to what you said compassion. I mean i've always had a big heart. And i think it's because it's been broken a lot and you don't hurt anybody else because you know what that feels like you know you have more compassion. Because you know what it's like to fill abandoned or left out or or or thrown away so you're not gonna do that to anybody because if you're not a monster you're not gonna do that because you know what that feels like me and so i have probably too much compassion. My heart's honestly probably isn't too big for people. There are worse things that people not for pets. But that's a whole different. That's a big for people. Pets you can have one. That's my ocd. Am sorry that's okay. But yeah i would say me. It's compassionate and i've seen more compassionate you as well 'cause i was saying earlier when you didn't understand it you just dislike. Oh burpee and water. But now you're like. Do you want to go take a nap. You need to lay down like there's way more compassion than there was before so if if anything good can come out of such a horrific diagnosis like ptsd. I mean if you can just you know. Be patient and be kind. You can learn compassion. Sure yeah that's a really good point. So that's it for the questions right now. We honestly united had these types of conversations for year really really long time and and this is just another one of those conversations of how to how to live with someone with ptsd. What it's really like. i. I'm going to go out on a limb here. What's the worst part about living with someone with. Ptsd not knowing how they're gonna react something and so you know there's times when not recently but you know there were times i'm like oh i don't know if i want to tell him this 'cause i don't know how he's gonna react. I don't know where he's at today. You know mentally like you know. He's already got a lot on his plate. I'm kinda it's almost like an egg shells kind of thing like the. You wanna be really careful. You know so so those can be a little. And i'm sure i'm the same way i'm sure you and the kids stay away. Well i think for me and maybe for the kiddos too. I don't know but for me. It's the the worst part you know other other than the obvious of you. Know seeing my spouse going through this right but you know how it how it affects. Your frustrates me is the inability to plan. I love planning. I'm like okay. What are we going to do tomorrow. Six weeks from now five years from now and like i don't know win and might depression depression. Yeah and you're going to be like. Oh sorry man like as much as you would love to go do that. Depression is just crushed. You for that day or week or i mean there are many many times to. I'm going to say through the years that i've pushed myself. You know because. I i wanna do fun things at the family like you know. I think a lot of people feel that way. Like yeah wanna goaded disneyworld and make memories you know and you feel like that that depression creep over you and you just got to push through it as hard as it is. You just gotta you can't quit. You got to keep moving gonna walk wounded speaking of which so i know we. We referenced. The walk wounded message right. So so for those of you. Who don't know this was a message from church. The highlands with A great jura tear in this region of the country. One of the biggest in the nation as i recall got twenty plus camp twenty two twenty. Three i don't even know now. We got a bunch of campuses anyway. The the one of the pastors nikon carter. He spoke any told the story about a guy that will testament by the name of jacob who ends up wrestling with this angel and this angel as he's wrestling with jacob he he knocks jacobs jacobs hip out of socket right but jacob keeps wrestling. He's like hey. I am not going to let you go until you bless me. And so he. He eventually wins the wrestling match. The angel blesses him. And then jacob has to go meet his brother. There's whole back did this to me his brother and as he's going to meet his brother he's limping like crazy. And so even though the angels blessed and basically god putting his hand on him and saying hey like i you know i i love you. I approve of what you're doing. You know i'm blessing right now. Even though god did that he didn't heal him completely soup but jacob still had to keep moving and he had to walk wounded. Right into put in real world speak is like yeah. You can have blessings you can have all these great things in life you can have money. Houses cars land lakes pools vacation homes. But that doesn't mean you're not going to have wounds right from other people from yourself from life itself. Ptsd is usually a a life itself kind of thing so what you gotta keep walking for. Sure for sure so what's another takeaway back to. What we're saying is be patient and educate yourself. If you want to help your spouse or even yourself like okay like read just read read. How other people are doing it and that have been successful and and see how it actually manifests in your own life. Because just saying it's ptsd. I bet there some other things surrounding it that maybe you don't even know. And so educate yourself and be patient with yourself and your spouse if it's your spouse right right and somebody said this is another great takeaway. Here is give your spouse space if your spouse was the one who has the. Ptsd right give them the space they need. I will say that with the caveat if you believe. They are in danger of hurting themselves. Get the appropriate help. Absolutely this is not the your spouse said. Hey i'm gonna take my own life and then you say okay one. That's giving them space. No no no. That's not a time when you need to give them space. That's a time when there needs to be an intervention right. You know so when we're talking to give give your spouse space. it's you patricia. Saying yeah take your dog for hike. Its ninety degrees. go ahead. i'm not with you. I'll be in the pool right. Yeah right yeah gopher run go go do something to to just relax to take that. Take the edge off so to speak. Then so give your spouse space. I think is a really really great takeaway there so anything else any other takeaways. We should share with our audience today. I don't know. I think we've covered it. I mean just to walk wounded. Hold their hand while they're walking did. Oh may that's the that'll pre treat there. that's good. That is so good well patricia again. So much for coming on the show really really appreciate. I know you didn't feel great today but you muscled through it and i'm so so glad you did. I know our listeners grew be happy as well and obviously on this show. We ask a lot of questions that we do our best to answer a lot of questions and we all have a lot of questions but the most important question we can ask ourselves is this. Have i accepted the forgiveness of sins. That only comes through faith. In jesus christ will thank you so much for listening. Be sure to follow social media. Facebook occurred to fight again. Same thing on instagram and twitter ad courage again. You can pick up. A copy of my book resolve at courage to defied again dot com or also on amazon. It has been such a pleasure sharing our hearts in this conversation with you today until next time. Thanks for listening.
Checking In with Tamika D. Mallory
"Hey everybody thank you so much for checking in. Today's podcast is going to be absolutely powerful. Make sure you check on your strong friends. Because they hurt. They need support with everything going on in the world. Your mental health matters. My book is already out. It's caught checking in in. It gives you the tools you need to put your mental health. I it gives you some cool pillars the three pillars checking in with yourself checking in with others and checking in with god and i'm so honored to check in with today's guest. She's a nationally recognized. Social justice leaders civil rights activists public speaker co founder of until freedom and author of bestselling book state of emergency. How we win. In the country we built without further ado. Please welcome the incredible to make a mallory to the checking in podcast. Oh my god. I am totally fan. Gerwin i'm on your with one of my favorites entertainers and not just entertainers were really a spiritual leader michelle. I appreciate you so much for having me on today. Listen i just wanna tell you that. I appreciate you. I was thinking of when we looked at leaders. You think of martin luther king. I don't know why kids think they were fifty or sixty years old. I look at your youth in. It's like no. They were starting young to you. Started so young. Actually you were a teenager when you started As far as what we would call. Someone is being an activist now. I know so. Many people focus on that that part of you but i want to focus on you thinking. We are grateful for the work that you do with until freedom. But i know that sometimes you can be so strong but a lot of it. Commotion lee spiritually has to take a toll on you at moments. Sure it's taxing. you know. I deal with trauma every day. I deal with the trauma. Those who reach out to me l. In support for the family and i deal with trauma of just watching video at the video that people send me fine to inform me up different incidents that have happened. We deal with the trauma of the you know not guilty. Verdicts the loss if you will win fighting these cases in win really hoping that they will change We deal with the trauma of elected officials. Who are supposed to represent us. Not doing enough to enough to stand by. The community is trauma everywhere. And then you have your own personal trauma which is something. None of us can get away from
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Betrayal trauma recovery group when you join. You're going to see a few changes because we have had exponential demand due to our incredible coaches and the incredible community that it is we have had to evolve a little bit to ensure that we keep you safe that we have the best group sessions in the world. And one of those ways is that we are recommending now. The women attend no more than one group a day. A lot of reasons for this. I did not anticipate when we were like. You can go multiple times a day if you want the coaching staff and me as the podcast or we did not anticipate that many many many women would attend more than one group a day continually like in perpetuity. Like all the time. I thought that perhaps one or two women might do that. You know on a really hard day but in total that it wouldn't be something that women made a habit of and so we've had to adjust that a little bit. There's other minor adjustments. The cool thing. Is you still have more than twenty one sessions to choose from. It's very flexible. So when you join just remember were having to evolve and we'll have to evolve again in the future to meet your needs to make sure that our mission here betrayal trauma recovery to help every single woman in the world get real by support face to face with someone who cares and someone who understands. It continues one of the issues with running. Such a large organization is that we do need to make changes from time to time. But i pre record all of the podcast episodes then we load them all up and it's really is impossible for me to go back and change all of the intros to them. I'm trying to figure out a way to put the same intro on everything and then i can change it every week. I have not figured that out yet. But i'm genuinely trying to figure that out and that way i can always keep all of the announcements up to date but embarrassingly. We made some of these changes but for the next. i don't know six to eight episodes. It's the way that i said it. Before so i don't want to confuse anyone. We still are here for you. We still offer mawr groups than anyone else. It's still an amazing experience. But just know that i can't change that back so that's why i wanted to do this. A little announcement. I really appreciate your support. And your patients and the coaches appreciate your support. Just a heads up on that know that we love you and we care and we make these changes for you the thing. That's the same. Is that when you join betrayal trauma recovery group. We're here for you. You never have to wait for an appointment. You can join win. You need to join the first time you joined. We recommend that you join from a laptop or from a desktop computer is easier to navigate the website and figure out how group sessions work. Then after you know how they work then. Joining from phone is easy or smack dab in the middle of summer so many of you are on vacation and you thought it would be fun. You thought it would be a good time for the family and then it turned out to be super traumatic awful and you had to put on a good face for your mother-in-law or whatever and it just goes very bad and you need help we are here for you. We created betrayal trauma recovery group. Because all of us had the experience of having some super traumatic thing happened and we couldn't get in to our therapists for like two weeks and that was just too much time. Even though we're recommending no more than one group a day it's still only a few hours usually because we have so.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Welcome to betrayal trauma recovery. This is an. I have.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Who have given it a five star review on amazon. When you purchase the book. please go back. Give it a five star review on amazon. All of those ratings help people find us even if they don't buy the book it helps them find this free podcast. Here's one of the five star reviews from amazon as nailed it. This story does a beautiful job of helping women betrayal trauma to fill understood. This book will also help those on the outside to see the women. They know who are experiencing betrayal trauma are experiencing abuse and placing the burden for fixing things on the victim is not helpful. I love how the book offers potential for hope. Through boundaries. illustrations are fantastic and do an excellent job of portraying. The pain and confusion women in betrayal trauma are experiencing by this book. If you know any women in betrayal trauma hint you know many. It will help them. No they aren't alone by this book for therapists and clergy members who were supposed to support women and betrayal trauma. It will help them understand the women they desire to help. So again you can go to bt r dot org slash books. That has a list of all of the books that we recommend. We're adding more as we.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Now i actually outline the thirteen categories in the systems of abuse in the free giveaway. That we're doing later. We can talk about that leader so devaluing can show up intangible ways in intangible ways in psychological ways and physical ways but the first and obvious form of devaluing is when someone is overtly and right tearing you down and then there are two types of more covert devaluing and they are harder to detect. I would say that for our community. The covert ways are the more common especially in the faith community. Because you have men who wants to be quote unquote followers of jesus and so. They've got their white shirt and tie on or whatever they're doing and they're trying to act like they are a good guy and so they don't wanna do anything over. That's obvious like we wouldn't wanna yell at their wife in front of other people you know they're not gonna be swearing or whatever church so they're going to put on this face but even at home they might pray reader scriptures or do other things to make you think like they're a man of god so let's talk about these covert things because i think these are more common to our listeners. But not only that but this is what makes it so difficult to understand. What's happening because you can't quite tell what's happening. Absolutely this is what creates that trauma fog and that sense of can imagine because on the face of it. They're doing everything that you think they should be doing. According to your belief system right and then there's something that doesn't fit and you can't always put your finger on it. And i want to suggest that there are two ways that that happens and this is an angle that we don't often take when we look at it but one is they are putting you on a pedestal and wanting you to play god in their lives or they are putting themselves on a pedestal and wanting to play god in your life. Let's talk about first one. That's really interesting. i think. I'm not sure i'm excited about. Are you about to say that they want to sort of hand you the keys to their life and sort of create a scenario where you are managing everything. That's going on in their life. Oh it's like you're inside my head or something. I'm going to take a break for just a second to talk about trauma husband drama. My picture book for adults. This is the perfect picture book to give to someone who is having a hard time wrapping their head around what is going on. It's short so if you're like. Oh do i give him trauma mama husband drama or do try and get him to read. Why does he do that by lundy bankrupt. They're more likely to read through this. They can read through it like four minutes. There's some infographics at the back. It makes it really digestible to get. Your copy of trauma has been drama. You can either just go directly to amazon and type in trauma..
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Welcome to betrayal trauma recovery. This is an. I have my dear friend. Sarah macdougal on episode today and she's going to be on subsequent episodes so make sure that you stay tuned for all episodes that we have together before we get to. Sarah i know this year has been hard for all of us. It has been a just slog not only with the abuse but also obviously the coronavirus and all the other trials and tribulations. All of us are going through. I want you to know that my heart is with you because we understand what it's like to be a woman in the situation. We created betrayal trauma recovery group. Just for you. When i was going through this there was nothing available. Like this also. I didn't understand. It was abused so we.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Also be returning next week. She's going to be sharing her story before we get to that. Thank you to those of you. Who have given us a five star rating on apple podcasts or your other podcasting apps. Isolated women are finding us because of your reviews. Here's a five star review. We recently received. it's titled. love this podcast. All women should listen to the podcast gain in attitude of open-mindedness into learn to empathize with a sister neighbor or friend who might be in has left an abusive relationship. I do not consider myself a victim or a survivor. I lucked out and married a man who treats me better than i deserve. I hope i'm not the only listener who hasn't been or is in an abusive relationship. Who listens to these strong brave souls who share their stories. there is so much to learn. This podcast helped me learn to recognize when someone is being manipulative. Learn to create boundaries. On how people treat me i could go on and on about the podcast. The host is very passionate about the podcast and it shows i loved it. There are no ads as a graduate student. I have developed a better understanding that many women are victims of misogyny due to their religious or cultural backgrounds. I stand with them and hope they can get to safety. Please support this podcast. Even if you are single happily married divorced widowed or whatever your situation may be help. Women feel loved valued and mostly safe. Thank you so much for giving us that review. If you haven't in your so inclined. Please give us a five star review on apple podcasts or other podcasting apps like i said when women are searching online all of these reviews really help them and find us. And that's the best thing we can do so that we can stop from going through the pain and chaos that we had to go through when we went down the pornography addiction recovery road for years. Let's say or. We went down different roads trying to figure out what was going on and we never recognized it was emotional abuse psychological abuse and sexual coercion for those of you who are listening. Who are beginning to recognize that. Your situation involves emotional abuse psychological abuse or sexual coercion. We created betrayal trauma recovery group. Just for you. It's multiple times a day in every single time zone. We do recommend the first time that you join you join on a laptop and makes it a little bit easier to navigate and then after you know what you're doing join on a phone. Also betrayal trauma recovery. Group isn't exactly the right place to process crime. So you're welcome to come talk about the emotional abuse psychological abuse and the pornography. Use things like that. If you have a crime situation coach rene helps women navigate how they can report navigate their local domestic violence shelter. If you're in that situation then schedule an individual session with coach. Rene as for betrayal trauma recovery group go to our website b. t. r. dot. Org check out the session schedule and we'd love to see you in a session today now for today's.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Changes you and those experiences can be sanctified by your healing. You kind of feel like these old saints you know. There's a saint for everything in the catholic church. There's a saint for everything Saint for moving saint for people to drown in water for being killed by an arrow on the back of the wagon. Anything that you can think of. And i'm like yeah i i feel like i'm the c. For toxic marriages or something. So that's why. I included that imagery and it just came pouring out of me paint on really quickly Send it to the show. did very well. There won several awards with it. And it's just an it's kind of like an icon army seen kirsten. Yeah right yeah. It was very just shocking. Is the right word that i would use for me but because it just spoke to me so deeply of the imagery that i had experienced in my dreams. It's interesting that the experience of this type of abuse we have. The details are all different for every woman. But this feeling of we've been almost drown in someone else's filth in a place where we should be safe like yours was a psychiatric hospital. That's the place where someone should be helping you. You know technically in a bathroom. It should be somewhere that you feel safe enough to just you know. relax. I guess but instead of that. You're getting someone else's filth all over you and his sanctifying experience it leaves marks on you and those marks. Don't go away. they can be transformed. They don't go away. The title is called flood damage in that really. It really looks like that. It was amazing. There were so many like every single. One i could talk about especially your what are the ones called the japanese ones where you put yourself back together with. Gold can suzy. Those release spoke to me. But the second one i'd like to really focus on is called unequally yoked so this is a painting of kirsten with a yoke and she is a yoked on one side. Yes yeah i have my neck and one side of the double yolk okay. Yeah and the other one is just empty and she's pulling this by herself. This one too it. Just i mean everyone of your paintings just hit me at my core but this one. I spent so much time observing thinking about in processing my own. Things can talk about this one a little bit. I did this painting. It's probably my favorite painting that i've ever done by the way it just really speaks to me. Still get in two thousand eighteen. I was divorced and just starting to get back into trying to date bona real time for me..
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Most of human history women really didn't have much power. I mean they weren't counted as as you were saying before human. You literally treated as property. You can't vote. You have no say in how the laws actually written that affect you results in a terrible terrible experience from women and girls. But i would say that it's not healthy for boys and men either like it's not what god intended it also sets. These really strict define gender roles. I don't think that they're helpful to men either. Even though man. I believe they are a creation of men. I don't think that that's even very helpful for them. Is comfortable for them because it was made to be over but it's still not the way they got intended it right well and you think about the so. You've got the a class that's in charge men right and they're able to define these roles and so they want to define the situation. That is the most comfortable for them. Not for other people and so they're telling women well. You would be most comfortable if you acted like this and if you did this rather than letting the women have voice the most logical way of doing it. Let's say in a partnership with a husband wife would be okay. We're going to get married. What's sit down and talk about each of our talents. What are the things we really enjoy. And what are the things were good at. So i might say. I'm really good at yard work. I'm excellent gardening. I love being outdoors. i'm not so good at cooking and organizing food that's just not one of my talents is also not something. I'm super interested in right. And then he would say okay. These are the things that i like. I also like being outdoors. I also like doing yard work. Great we can do that together. And i also don't like cooking at that point where there's this thing that's like we both don't like cooking. Then the answer is not what. You're the girl so you have to do it right. Answer to that is Interesting neither of us really like it that much. How are we going to manage these household tasks that need to be done. The other thing that i've been thinking of lately you can work and be a mom. I'm not saying that you should. A lot of women really would prefer to stay at home and they should have that right right. We want to protect women's ability to choose the kind of life that they want. And if you're talking about household tasks a lot of people are capable of holding job and being a parent and taking a shower right and doing their laundry and eating so this idea that there's this thing that women must do and they have to be in charge of basic household tasks like laundry and cooking and cleaning and stuff like that because a human isn't capable of doing basic self care things and and having talents and exploring their talents and doing anything else is ridiculous but everyone should be free to be able to explore their own talents and what they're good at and what they're interested in and also be able to do regular household tasks the entire epitome of that person should not be just basic household tasks right and if both the husband and the wife approached marriage in that way approach life in that way then they can work that out together and form some kind of equilibrium but forcing people into these very specific gendered roles like there are plenty of men who don't feel comfortable being shoehorned in that way either. They don't know how to use a hammer are they. Don't know how to fix the air conditioner. And so what do you do you call you. Call any see guy to come fix your air conditioner. But then to say to a woman. Well you're a woman and so you should be forced to cook as like no. You're not forcing me to fix air conditioner. So what can we do to like work this out. I'm not saying you hire a cook. I'm just saying there are so many other options for people if they're willing to accept that people have certain talents certain interests and the people don't have certain talents and certain interests and to look at it on an individual basis. That seems to be more in line. With what god wants for us. Because he's created each of us as individuals with talents to do his work. He hasn't just said all women the only purpose that you have unearthed is to make sure that your family gets fed right right and then we go if you get beyond like the few decades of a woman's life when her children are young at home and she has these traditional household duties to be like once you move beyond that even women talk about feeling empty. Like where's my purpose any more. How sad is that. My my mom. She's only worked outside of the home for a very short amount of time. But she's very handy like she knows how to tile and she's a kitchen designer and she does electrical and plumbing and all kinds of things and she remodeled our house a ton and she's helping me remodeled my house right now in fact that is what the construction you can hear in the background of. You've heard any of my mom is out hammering and finishing my basement right now so has she fulfilled her own like dreams and talents and things that she's interested in. She's super interested in construction. She loves it is she. The best person at making dinner every night and the answer to that is no. She's really not by great at that. That's not one of her talents but that doesn't make her a bad mom. She's an excellent amazing mom and she loves construction and i'm really grateful that even if she didn't work in the construction industry that she's been able to will to explore her talents even not working outside the home so i'm not trying to say that women have to do it in a certain way or a way. They feel uncomfortable with but having a man. Look at you and say well you have to clean the toilet because that's your job because you're a woman is crazy. It is can be anyone strong. Yeah she talks a lot about this in chapter six patron seen spiritual midwives and biblical womanhood. Bill call and will because the idea. it's not. let's see this working outside the home. She says the phenomenon of being a stay at home mother is relatively new and unique to the prosperous right along with daycares to provide childcare. It's a mark of our privilege to be able to decide or to make adjustments to our household budget to keep one parent and full time with the children. I believe that it is worthy pursuit. Good work holy work. I hope so. It's my own daily work but it's not the same thing as biblical woman at is if the title can't be enjoyed by a woman in haiti or even by the woman healed and scripture the same way i can buy a middle class woman canada than biblical womanhood must be more than this tracy and i are going to continue this conversation next week. So stay tuned in the meantime. We appreciate your support to support this. Podcast scroll down to the bottom of our website. Btr dot org and click on support the podcast and until next week. Stay safe out there..
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"To them being abused and exploited for entertainment or sexual gratification. So limassol janie. Peace cannot be ignored by really appreciated. Sarah essy's books. I've invited tracy back to talk about feminism within this context. Let's start there. You interjected which is fantastic and said the radical idea of feminism means. That women are human. Can you talk more about that. First of all just my own experience growing up was very much what you just described. It was an absolute aversion to the word to the point that i never did. I need due diligence and even learning about it. I just accepted that it was a bad thing. Feminism was a bad thing. I grew up hearing the word. Feminazi used by people to me which is a really really derogatory. Mean mean thing to say. I just didn't even in my adulthood. When i started opening myself up a little bit to some ideas. Feminism i thought is there another term we can use. Is there another terms or not a word we can use But but now i have come to embrace and love the word I do consider myself a feminist. Not as a feminist for myself a radical feminist. Let's see what sarah bessie says about it. She says pg thirteen of her books she says. Feminism is complicated and varies for each person much like christianity. It's not necessary to subscribe to all the diverse and contrary opinions within feminism to call oneself a feminist feminism gained popularity as a result of secular work and scholarship but the line between sacred and secular is manmade. Because god is the source of truth. Christians can still give thanks to god for the good works associated with feminism such as the gaining a status for women as persons under the law voting owning property and themselves in a court of law against domestic violence and rape as canadian theologian. John d. stackhouse junior says christian feminists can celebrate any sort of feminism that brings more justice and human flourishing to the world. No matter who is bringing it since we recognize the hand of god in all that is good modern christian feminism is alive and well from social justice movements to seminaries and churches to suburban living rooms worldwide at the core feminism simply consists of the radical notion. That women are people too. I was talking with someone about it. They were really uncomfortable about the word feminist and they said well. I just don't want it to swing too far. And i said the pendulum cannot swing too far on equality like what we always have to keep women a little bit below men know. It can swing as far as it needs to swing. Currently speaking women are not believed. Women are not taken seriously when they experienced this extreme victim hood. They are blamed for it. There is no ability for the oppressed class. That would be women to. It's basically like if we talk about. It be shouldn't talk about it in that way if we complain about it. We're complaining about it too much if we stay silent about it. We were in denial. There's no way right now to appropriately. Protest it without being blamed in some way right because it sounds radikal. Yeah it sounds extreme right. Oh this word abuse. It's not that extreme. And you're like no that's actually what it is. And i'm not being extreme. Yeah the pendulum can't swing far enough. As far as i'm concerned. I don't think that it can go too far. When it comes to equality so until women have the ability to be equal literally equal as equally relieved as equally understood as equally taken seriously. The pendulum has not strong enough. I agree allah. What sarah bessie says. She names one of her chapters. Jesus made a feminist out of me. And i'm like me till meteo. This was part of the transformation the post traumatic growth. It was tapping into this truth that society had been suppressing at me for most of my life leading up to that point. She also talks about that moment on. Page one eleven. She says he's talking about a cult experience for herself which has had to do with pregnancy. But for me. It was betrayal trauma. She says but the truth remains regardless of the circumstances unique to us. The voice of god has a habit of breaking through the noise of our lives giving us a turning point an epochs so that we mark the rest of our lives differently from that moment on when we talk about these moments in our lives we begin our stories with the words and then everything changed and that was vitriol drama. And i'm a feminist now. Jesus made of eminence adamy. That was a natural result of healing in my life to take a break for a second to read a review. That came in on apple podcasts. I love hearing from you. So if you're so inclined. Please leave a review on apple podcasts or other podcasting apps because every single review that you leave especially your comments helps isolated. Women find us. This woman said my eyes were opened for years. I thought my husband now ex had a sex addiction. The pain and suffering myself and my children have experienced is catastrophic. It was not until. I listen to this podcast that i learned that we are abused survivors calling it abuse instead of addiction has been a game changer for my healing emma children's healing. It has been crucial because now we get the types of resources we need. The sex addiction route left us feeling more wounded. And more abused. It was like we really didn't matter. Only he mattered now. We understand that safety is the most important goal and then my is an abuser. Who has sexually physically mentally and emotionally abused us for years. I think ubt for doing the hard work of getting this message to the public and like to think this woman for sharing her thoughts and grateful for her. Please help us get this message to every woman who needs to hear it by sharing this podcast on social media also commenting with your stories on these podcast episodes on our website. If you go to bt are dot org you can find this episode and share your story. Share your thoughts about feminism or questions that you have or anything that you want to share. You can share them on our website. We so appreciate when you tag us or when you link to us on any social media platform it really does help woman who isolated find us. Okay now back to our conversation for women who are uncomfortable with this word feminist. I want you to think about. Why won't you to consider the term feminazi right or the gas lighting. That has taken place that would say feminists are bad and exactly what about that is causing that issue. Who is telling you. Feminists feminist vast. What is that about. Because i think if you really think about it. You'll realize this gas lighting effect by society in general and also men in general to try and say no women cannot be equal to men is because it's a disruption of the status quo and that makes people uncomfortable also it infringes on power structures as they are. It's a threat to turkey. I agree though with sarah. When she says patriarch is not got stream for humanity. It took me a while to come to that for a while even after i was beginning to embrace feminism i still was like but is there a way they like to make it. Work within patriarch user way that patriots still the right way and like we just have to tweak this or tweak dot and ultimately no i believe that patriarchy is a result of the fall. I that's not how god intended for men and women to interact with each other. And when you say pay turkey the hierarchy. Yeah yeah. Men are in charge. Legally they make the loss spiritually or religiously rather and they're the organizers of the structure of society and for.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Welcome to betrayal trauma. This an i have tracy back on. Today's episode. We're going to talk about jesus feminist. Which is a book by. Sarah bessie and how sarah bessie contends and lear. Contending as well that you can be a christian and follow a savior and also be a feminist which is a little bit of a radical idea. But we're going to be talking about that today before we get to that. I had a woman talk about her experience with my book. Trauma mama husband drama which is available on our website at btr dot org backslash books our website btr dot org slash books. If you go there that's just a curated list of books that we recommend if you click on those books it just takes you right to amazon so it's not like you won't be at amazon anyway but at least you can say all the books that we recommend all in one spot so go checkout page. See all the books that we recommend a woman posted about her experience with trauma has drama and this is what she said. I'm actually not reading it word for word to protect your identity. This is what she said. I ordered and received. An flights trauma has been drama. But to days ago. I showed it to my husband. He was literally shocked to see how much it resembled our life together. He tried to see if he could play it off a tiny bit and wanted to know if i got it from church. That's been one of his excuses before that. I wouldn't feel this way. If i wasn't brainwashed by turkey stuff when i told him i ordered it from a site for abused women. He got real quiet. He said that it showed him what i've been saying. It wasn't just me overreacting whether he chooses to change or not. It helped me validate my experiences with him to him. Which is what. I've been searching for very grateful for that chance. I showed him the abuse cycle circle in the back of the book and again he got kind of quiet. It looked like he had this realization of sorts of what he was doing to me for the past twelve years. Because it wasn't just me calling it abuse. He said i was overreacting exaggerated and just playing making up. But now there was proof that it was all actual abuse in an actual visible cycle of actions. That he knows he does. I didn't think anything would get him to understand. Even the teniente amount but this book really helped he just kept saying. That's us in that book. It's like they made it for us. He even brought it up with a church leader saying that up until now he believed that i was just making things up and complaining but that now he sees that what he was doing was abusive so now he seems to be having his eyes opened. So we'll see. I guess of course like all of us. She's not sure what to make of this and if he really does understand it or not or just confronted with it he had to admit it and who knows what will happen in the future but that's one woman's experience sharing the book trauma. Mama has been drama with her abusive husband. It's not necessarily something i recommend. I recommend that women rather than try to get their abuser to stop that they get to safety. That is what. I would recommend this this woman's experience and i wanted to share it with you The reason why it's so dangerous to try and help your abuser understand. His abusiveness is because it could put you in danger for further abuse. So that's a tricky situation at the same time. All of us have tried that all of us have tried saying to the man in our lives who abuse of. Hey this is what you're doing to me. Can you please stop so in her. Experience trauma has been drama. Really helped and we don't know what the long term implications of that will be who i do recommend it for though as clergy or family or friends who have a hard time wrapping their head around the fact that this is an abuse issue and this is abuse scenario that it's not a pornography addiction problem. It's not a communication problem or a problem that can be solved in couple therapy to pick up your copy of trauma husband drama. Go to btr. Dot org backslash books. I have great news about betrayal trauma. Recovery group we recently added to news sessions so depending on your time zone will depend on when those sessions are for you so go to our website. Btr dot org and click on. Join the group to see updated session schedule. Were excited about offering these new sessions. We do add sessions from time to time as more women joined because we wanna make sure that there's availability. My goal in the long run is to have so many sessions that women can get into a supportive safe nurturing group online within a couple of hours in every single time zone. So that's my goal eventually. We're not quite there. But we do provide more sessions and give more support to victims of emotional abuse psychological abuse and sexual coercion than any other organization. So again go to. Btr dot org to see the session schedule and we'd love to see you in a session today. Okay now tracy. And i are going to have a discussion about the concepts. We learned in the book. Jesus feminist sarah bessie. Welcome back. tracy thank you. We're gonna talk about jesus feminist a little bit so many women and men have this negative feeling of the word feminist. It just fills wrong. Like i don't wanna use that term. I don't really like it. A lot of them is because of their religious leanings. They feel uncomfortable because of parts in the bible that talk about how women need to submit to their husbands or other factors. There's some other. Societal factors that have made women feel uncomfortable. About the word feminist. I would say that betrayal trauma recovery is a women's empowerment organization into me. The word feminists simply means that women have equal rights. The women are seen as human yet. Radical idea that women are humans to yeah this radical crazy idea. Yeah good point that women are humans to they have rights and feelings and they deserve to be heard and taken seriously. I think it's really important to talk about this. Because the heart of abuse is men's entitlement to a few things number one men's entitlement to women's bodies that they're entitled to be able to use women's bodies how they choose to and they don't really have to answer to any other woman for their sexual misbehavior or the compulsive sexual acts that they're sort of entitled to be able to use their sexuality in any way they choose and it's not hurting anybody because apparently their wife isn't human cause. I don't get why she so upset about my poor news when it comes to abuse and sexual acting out and sexual coercion. The misogyny peace cannot be ignored. It's not something that we can take separately. This isn't a man who respects women in general and has this view of women as equals who is able to abuse women both their own wife and also abuse women by masturbating.
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