40 Burst results for "Trauma"
A highlight from MAKE IT HAPPEN - Andrew Tate Motivational Speech
"You can't pour from an empty cup and before you give love to anybody else you have to truly love yourself And I think the easiest way to love yourself as a man is to be proud of yourself and to be proud of yourself You have to decide who you want to be inside of the metaverse inside of the matrix You decide the character you want to be and try your best to achieve it Why do you think people struggle with being proud of themselves? I think because they know they're failing I think that most people failing in life know very well they're failing and it doesn't matter what avatar you decide to absorb or Who you decide to be? You can decide to be it and you know true in your heart if you're giving a hundred percent of your energy towards becoming or Doesn't matter if you want to become a famous musician does not gonna come ball a bodybuilder doesn't make them come become a pro fighter It doesn't matter what you want to be You know in your heart if you're actually trying you have to decide what you want to be and try and become it and a lot Of the people who are genuinely unhappy or miserable in their hearts know they're not trying well And they also I think they also focus on what everyone else is doing right or wrong and then judging outward and everyone's like focus on this our reflection of like what that person has and versus what they don't have and it's all just like Cycle of negativity completely and it's just if we found ourselves especially with social media nowadays We found ourselves like most people because maybe they're not mentally strong enough to understand like wait I need to create my own value instead of looking outwards How do you think we fix it successful is all about self -definition which is what I was saying at the beginning We have to defy decide who you want to be and if you're if you wanted to be Joe Schmoe and you pull it off And you'll be a pretty happy content person to decide who you want to be I think the people who are miserable is the dip it's the gap between their expectations and their reality That's what the misery lies. My expectations were always enormously high even when I was a nobody I knew I had to be filthy rich and a kickboxer at the age of 15 I knew that if I'm the kind of guy that if I raise my voice people are gonna care I'm not gonna be the guy who starts shouting and everything's just funny I know I'm gonna be the kind of guy who's genuinely a formidable opponent all around the human endeavor I know I'm gonna have money People who are miserable are the people who don't try hard enough to obtain it because I actually believe and it's another thing I believe the universe is very giving I think the universe and God himself is very giving I've yet to meet someone years All my who is genuinely giving 100 % of themselves day after day doesn't snake anyone firm handshake Look you in the eye doesn't lie to nobody and tries 100 % doesn't get what they want I've never seen it every single person who doesn't have what they want There's something in their story that doesn't quite add up I've yet to see some guy who have you ever seen a guy who eats right trains his ass off and never misses gym session Ever not grow. It's just that's the way the universe works, right? So if you're truly about it, you're truly trying your absolute best You're gonna do it and I that's what I believe. I believe the universe is extremely giving So when I meet somebody and they go I really wanted this and I don't have that so you didn't really want all like the successful People most successful people in the world Would you say that all of them have have like something in common in the sense of like some sort of hardship in their life? It's not I mean trauma is extremely important and this actually goes back into answering the first part of your question, which is interesting There's a study I read about stress and it was saying that stress they Stress has a placebo effect attached to it because the placebo effect is extremely powerful So they found some of the most stressed people in the world and they split them into two groups and they're all equally stressed They all have a bunch of cortisol People who believed they were that stress was bad for you and that stress can hurt you and they believe those media articles We're dying earlier. They're having heart attacks and having stress related illnesses The people who believe the opposite who just said stress is part being successful I like stress when I feel stressed I do my best makes me anxious. It turns my brain I like being stressed lived longer than average point is the same drug how you look at it and how your body Anticipates it how you feel about it affects the real -world results, which goes back into what you were saying earlier about the jealousy You're saying people look on social media and they get jealous and it demotivates things That's because they decide to be demotivated by it Do you know what happens when I get jealous of somebody I fucking beat them If I look at somebody has something I got I will take it from them by hook or by crook. Well, then I love I wish someone could make me jealous. It's hard. Now. I got everything I wish I could look at somebody and go fucker would you say would you say jealous? He's the number one part for motivation? Well, I don't think motivation is a real thing, I don't believe in motivation it's a concept I think discipline is real and I also think discontentment is real and I don't think it's possible for anybody to stay in a scenario Where they're truly uncomfortable if you fall asleep on your arm and your arm really starts to hurt even in the deepest sleep You're gonna wake up and move your arm if you sit there and your life has been in a rut for seven years You are semi comfortable in that rut. Sure. There's days. You're pissed off sure You're semi annoyed by it, but there's also days when you just play video games eat pizza and you're kind of cool with it It's no big deal if you were truly Unhappy and uncomfortable and discontent with your scenario. You wouldn't be in it. So I think I don't believe there's anybody who's truly When I was broke, I couldn't sleep Sam. Please understand me when I was broke. I couldn't sleep I'd be trying to go to bed thinking How the fuck these people have Ferraris. I want a fucking Ferrari I couldn't sleep people aren't taught to be self -aware anymore People are taught to just like like I said look at that guy what he has and be mad that she don't have it Or like if something's going on with me I don't want to look inside and say what's actually happening with me. Why am I this way? Why am I the person that I am today everyone, but I want to figure out deeply How do you think a man specifically in this case is able to look at themselves more comfortably without? Holding the judgment the fact that they don't have the stuff over themselves because completely you're totally right I think there's two answers to the question one I think a lot that came from chess because chess is the most ruthless game on the planet and what chess will teach you Chess teaches you that if you lose at some point you made a mistake It doesn't matter if it's the smallest mistake It doesn't matter if you just took too long too long to think to make the right move and run out of time on the clock At some point you fucked up for you to lose that game. It's 100 % accountability with no luck That's what's so important about learning chess That's the first thing and the second thing is you need to as a man adopt the mindset that absolutely everything that happens to you It's completely an earlier fault whether it's good or bad Most men don't have that when the matrix was attacking me and they were destroying me and they're calling up My ex is trying to get fake fucking charges on me and put me in jail when they closed my bank accounts I use ten eleven million dollars when they banned me on all across all social medias and lie about me when they harassed my Family when did I'm sitting there going? This is my fault. All of this is me. I got here. It's my fault I'm not going that was unfair. It was orchestrated NGOs worked against me because that is not helpful. It's accountability It's a hundred percent accountability in all things, but also when I go out there and I start to Bugatti It's like that's me. It's Mike. This is my fault The car is my fault and the big house is my fault and everything that ever goes wrong Yeah, absolutely. You have to take complete in our accountability for everything. You can't make excuses ever There's never an excuse and you're right people try and put things on the outwork outwards on the outside. It's interesting I remember watching Forrest Gump about five years ago I was on a plane and coming where I was flying and the beginning of Forrest Gump has a scene in it when he's sitting On the bench at the beginning think about a Forrest Gump He's sitting on the bench at the beginning and there's a feather and on him and the movie begins what they're saying with that is Forest is the feather and life has just pushed him all over and put him in all these unusual scenarios Life has directed him everywhere That's what that's what it's saying And if you're gonna be the guy and you're gonna allow life to happen to you and you're not gonna happen to life Then you're at mercy of the wind. Perhaps it might work out. Okay, but it might not right So you have to be the guy who goes? Okay, the winds blowing in this direction. Fuck them. I'm doing this You have to come to life You can't let life come to you because if you let life come to you Then you're gonna be living inside of a matrix and a system which is designed not for you to live your best life It's designed for you to comply How do you think men can build more confidence in like deciding their life instead of just letting be decided for that? Yeah, so they have to take absolute responsibility, which is the first thing the second thing they have to get competence and competence It's gonna allow you to have confidence. You're not gonna be good at shit. You're bad at shit You have to be good at things. You're only gonna be confident things if you're good at things I know what I'm good at and what I'm bad at So you have to go out there and take risks you have to make mistakes and you have to risk it all and and once Again, this comes down to competition. I think competition is such an important thing in the masculine world I grew up in the chess world, but I went fighting world was all extremely competitive. It's competition driven You can't make excuses if I sit here and say I lost a fight cool You lost a fight, but I lost a fight but my gloves when they were wrapped up my gloves My hand was hurting and then excuses like you have to understand that excuses don't matter Nobody cares life's binary winners or losers and you just have to take absolute responsibility for people are so caught up when things happen This is why this happened to me because of this because my childhood cuz my past trauma cuz my life whatever But people are so not taught to like look inwards and go towards those things Well, I think I think victim playing victim is a it's an easy way out. Yeah, it's it's a lazy This is an easy way out It's a good excuse and it also makes you feel better about yourself me and my brother have another thing We do we do this all the time if either of us are ever complaining about anything We say we have this we shut each other up and saying what do you want therapy? If you don't want therapy what you're talking the main reason people complain about things is to get a dopamine rush, right? I'm unhappy but if I sit there and I complain about it and you give me a little bit sympathy I feel better dopamine That's why they're complaining for dopamine if someone comes to me and complains about something It's the best thing I can do for them because I'm a philanthropic nice man. I'm mr. Nice. It's time to get fucked I don't care shut up But a lot of this comes down to your social circle because there's a whole bunch of guys out there whose friends accept excuses If your friends will allow you to make excuses, you're gonna make excuses if you're a family and let you make excuses You're gonna make excuses. You're gonna complain and feel better You gotta be around killers who don't accept that shit if I have a good me and my let's say me and three friends There's four of us and we all decide to do 10 ,000 push -ups a day and all of us do them except one There's no words inside the human language There's no sentence He could possibly construct my how compenduous or concise or how intelligent the man is that will allow us to forgive him failing Don't accept excuses.
Fresh "Trauma" from WTOP 24 Hour News
"Briscato had trauma to her upper body her cause of death still unknown, Syed It is is being extradited back to Fairfax County on murder charges. Coming up in money news after traffic and weather. It takes more more than than a million dollars in household income to be in the top 1 % in DC. I'm Jeff Glabaugh. It's 508 Michael and Sons heating tune up for only $59 Traffic and weather on the eights and when it breaks to Dave Dildine in the wtop traffic center in the district 395 southbound slow coming out of the third street tunnel past Main Avenue one stopped in a lane of the freeway backing up traffic on a 695 volume delays at the Anacostia River bridges on DC and 28295 downtown near Franklin Park near 13th and I the demonstration still still on foot still mobile not too much of a traffic impact with this one volume delays around the Beltway in Maryland and Virginia slow on the interloop it's a slow ride from Tyson's toward the spur and northbound on 270 and a couple of stretches through Rockville and Gaithersburg the southbound bus crash in the local lanes near 28 is still blocking the left side of the local lanes main lanes are open some slowing here and there on 95 in the BW Parkway 50s good at the Bay Bridge in Virginia Fairfax County near Clifton there is a crash on Henderson Road near Hampton Road and part of Henderson Road is block just east of the Hampton intersection well west of Route 123 on McLean the crash northbound between Lewinsville Road and Old Dominion Drive was blocking a lane but able traffic is to get by that and southbound lanes of Dolley Madison are open 66 395 and 95 through the Commonwealth slow and separate stretches nothing blocking on the interstates traffic brought to you by Navy Federal Credit Union proud to serve members of the armed forces DoD veterans and their families the members of the mission learn more at Navy federal Dave Dole 9 WTOP traffic 7 news first alert meteorologist Mark Pena sunshine remaining in the forecast for the remainder of your Monday as we bring in the first full week of October certainly feels like the beginning of
A highlight from 129 - Gardeners Never Retire: Overcoming Challenges in Your Senior Years - Duane Pancoast
"The Garden Question is a podcast for people that love designing, building, and growing smarter gardens that work. Listen in as we talk with successful garden designers, builders, and growers, discovering their stories along with how they think, work, and grow. This is your next step in creating a beautiful, year -round, environmentally connected, low -maintenance, and healthy, thriving outdoor space. It doesn't matter if you're a beginner or an expert, there will always be something inspiring when you listen to the Garden Question podcast. Hello, I'm your host, Craig McManus. In this episode, we talk about adapting to various gardening challenges. We explore making tough decisions in gardening throughout the latter seasons of life. Also, having the best attitude toward tough decisions. Mobility restrictions began taking a toll on 84 -year -old Dwayne Pankost. His gardening abilities were changing, but not his knowledge. He began sharing his and other senior gardener's experiences in his blog, The Geriatric Gardener, in February of 2017. After posting bi -monthly adaptive gardening stories, Dwayne decided to compile the best of his post into a self -published book, The Geriatric Gardener. Dwayne feels having the garden information at your fingertips is a benefit for every senior gardener. Dwayne continues to work in the family marketing communication business, which he started in 1985. The firm serves tree, landscape, and lawn care businesses. This has been episode 129, Gardeners Never Retire, Overcoming the Challenges in Your Senior Years, with Dwayne Pankost. Dwayne, why did you decide not to give up on gardening? I didn't really decide to give up on gardening. Old Edge crept up on me. One day when I couldn't get up from kneeling, I decided I was going to have to garden a bit differently. I thus started my second career preaching about adaptive gardening. What is it about gardening that keeps you wanting to go with it, no matter what age you are? I like plants, and plants seem to like me. When I could no longer do outside work, I was fortunate enough to have a mature, mostly woody plant landscape at my home, which I was able to hire out the maintenance work. So, I've concentrated on indoor gardening, especially tillandsia air plants, because they're fun, they're curious, they're easy to maintain. I have about 30 of them, and another 30 of regular soil and pot plants. Would you explain what adaptive gardening is, and how it differs from traditional gardening practices? Sure. Adaptive gardening is simply adapting your garden and your gardening to your changing physical conditions. If your knees hurt, you have to find a way to garden without kneeling, with raised beds, containers. I'm particularly fond of elevated beds, because I like to garden sitting down, and there's a place to put your legs underneath elevated beds. How does adaptive gardening contribute to the well -being and mental health of individuals facing physical limitations or health challenges? As you grow older, your knees wear out, your back wears out, your shoulders wear out, and Adaptive gardening is simply finding ways in which you can continue gardening with minimum pain, minimum disturbance to your health. It may start with just a pair of strap -on knee pads, and then it may go to getting one of these kneelers that you tip it over and it becomes a seat, or one of the other gardening seats that are available online or at some garden stores and home centers, and then going to raise beds, elevated beds and containers, eventually, perhaps concentrating on your indoor gardening. Do you find that it keeps promoting an independent spirit and self -sufficiency by continuing to garden? Oh, it sure does. Some people retire and all they do is sit in front of the television, and they're dead in six months. I'll be 85 in November, so I figure I can thank gardening for some of that longevity because it keeps me busy. I can get up in the morning, and I know I've got something productive to do. How I do it or how anybody does it is adapting is a matter of time management, only working blocks that are comfortable for you, maybe 20 minutes or maybe a half hour, and then take a rest break. If you're working outside, go into a shady spot. I used to go into my garage and sit and watch people walk their dogs up and down the street. Well, while you're there, always have a cooler of nice cold water and drink plenty of it because staying hydrated is very important to your well -being. Dehydration is one of the major causes of falls because people can get lightheaded and their balance goes crazy when they are dehydrated. Falling is one of the things you don't want to do out in the garden. I didn't realize that. I didn't know that dehydration led to dizziness. A doctor told me that I could always tell when I was dehydrated because my balance went wonky. I drank enough water and an hour or so, it was back to normal. Would you tell us about some of the decisions you had to make in your latter years? You said you're 85, but what are some of the decisions you faced going through that time period? First of all was downsizing and this can be a trauma for some people. I thought it was going to be for my late wife because she liked our house and I didn't like our house because it was a money pit from the day we moved in. It was a half -acre lot with a two -story colonial on it. It was great for raising our four sons because they had plenty of grass to play ball and do kid stuff. When walking the stairs became difficult for both of us, she was the one who decided, I think we ought to downsize. So we built a house that is about the same size as a two -story, but one story on a quarter -acre lot. One of the things I tell people, if you're going to downsize, bring something from your old garden with you. Dig up some plants that you especially liked in your old garden that may have a story. That goes with it or something with the family. I happened to bring a ginkgo tree. It was about four or five inches caliper and 15 or 20 feet tall. I didn't just dig it up and put it in the back seat of the car and bring it over. I had a client who had a big tree spade and he moved it for me. Downsizing is the first decision. I used to do my grass. I timed it, not by the clock. I did the back and one side, and then I would sit down and rest for 20 minutes or so, drink a bottle of water. Then I'd go out and do the front and the other side, and then sit down for a while before I'd go on to the next gardening job. I was convinced at a certain point that I ought to hire a lawn cutting service, which I did. When I found that I couldn't get up from a kneeling position, that's when I hired the lawn care service to also do things like weeding and trimming my shrubs. I have a tree and landscape client. He does stuff like the heavy pruning, any tree climbing, because he has a pre -care division. It wasn't a matter of whether I was going to quit gardening or not quit gardening. It was a matter of how I was going to do the gardening and still have a relatively painless life. This was at the old house. No, the new house. You were cutting the grass at your new house? Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, you talked about the pain. What do you suggest to continue gardening when your knees do start causing you trouble? I suggest, first of all, anybody of any age, go get a pair of strap -on knee pads. A lot of gardeners get the cheapest ones, and they complain that the strap goes around the bend of the knee, go to the next quality up, and it'll have a strap that goes above the knee bend and another strap that goes below it. Look into one of these kneelers or combination kneeler bench or something to sit on. If you're younger, use the knee pads to help prevent or put off the knee problems. Knees, for some reason, they just calcify. You get arthritis. I asked my orthopedic doctor, what causes it? He said, wear it out. I said to him, maybe it's too much genuflecting in church. And without missing a beat, he said, well, come on over to the Episcopal Church. We don't do that.
Fresh update on "trauma" discussed on WTOP 24 Hour News
"Office cleaners are demanding better pay and benefits let's go live to WTOP's Mike Morello Mike yeah right now we're at 11th Street Northwest and New York Avenue and that's where this group of probably a couple hundred protesters are actually cleaners who clean many buildings throughout the DC region they are with the SEIU union and their contract ends on the 15th but both sides in this negotiation are still far apart when it comes to wages workers who do clean buildings around here make anywhere from $12 .50 to $18 dollars an hour depending on where they are in the DC region here is the one of the members of the SEIU the the leader of the SEIU local region here who says what they're looking for they kept our economy going they kept our buildings clean they risked their lives their families lives their neighbors lives now it's time for these companies to recognize the sacrifices they make that is Yemi Contreras speaking there a lead negotiator with the Washington Service Contractors Association that's a group that represents 24 companies that own and great buildings in the area says that both sides also do remain far apart as both sides say they're still far apart on wages but says in hard bargaining they are making progress but right now they're preparing for a strike and they did a vote today and if the contract expires they said they are ready to go on strike and that'll leave a lot of buildings in the area and Baltimore without cleaners reporting live in downtown Mike Murillo WTOP news it's 505 there's a murder investigation a couple blocks from the White House DC police say they found a man shot to death last night in McPherson Square WTOP's Dick The man was found slumped on a park bench at 15th and I streets Northwest after reports of the sound of gunshots asked again about violent crime DC Mayor Muriel Bowser has reaffirmed her criticism of DC Council action she says has weakened the fight against crime those issues relate to the treating police our police officers when employment matters different than any other employee in some cases they should be other cases it makes it very difficult McPherson Square is within the city's Ward 2 where the number of gun crimes so far this year is more than double the number at this point last year Dick Iuliano WTOP News nearly 300 DC employees have filed sexual harassment complaints since 2017 that's the word from the Washington Post in their reporting today the 290 complaints have piled up after Mayor Muriel Bowser's anti -sexual harassment order took effect six years ago well today Bowser defended that when I issued that mayor's order in 2017 it was among the most if not the progressive of any local jurisdiction in the US we did it proactively not because we thought we had a pervasive problem and I still don't think we have a pervasive problem. All this says Bowser's former chief of staff John Falcicchio has been accused of prolonged sexual harassment. It's 506 an update on a crash in Bowie last week that killed four people. Police in Prince George's say County though those inside the car crashed into a tree and they were avoiding officers on Friday night. Witnesses tell us it was a fiery scene that has played out there before. Marianne Lavezzo has lived here along Woodmore Road for 37 years and she's seen and heard crashes here before when an SUV rammed into a tree next door Friday night it was enough to shake her house. And I was worried about my husband because he walked up there thinking he could help and I'm waiting for this vehicle to explode. The vehicle had been carjacked in the greenbelt just before 1 a .m. Friday. Police there say the license plates had been replaced with expired temporary tags. That's what Prince George's County Police first noticed when they tried to pull the vehicle over. And there's a couple of guys because it took down part of the fence that had one of the fence posts and were trying to break the window. And they finally broke it. But by then it was too late in Buie. John Dome in W T O P News. A man has now been arrested for the murder of a woman whose body was found in Fairfax County's Burke Lake Park over the weekend. County police say Rami Al Syed was taken into custody in New Jersey. Police say they found the body of 40 year old Kara Abruscato inside what they call a makeshift tent after being called to the park's campground during this death time him after he birdied off on a mountain. We stayed with you. We continue to talk forever as the dead people found a Squamish around Saturday Afternoon. A briscato had trauma to her upper body her cause of death still unknown, Syed It is is being extradited back to Fairfax County on murder charges. Coming up in money news after traffic
Monitor Show 07:00 09-27-2023 07:00
"Do you need to communicate and collaborate from anywhere? Vonage does that. With one streamlined app you get full features that work on desktop or mobile wherever you go. Join video meetings and calls, respond to messages, and work from home, in the office, or on the road. You can even capture conversations on the go because the Vonage mobile app can integrate with your CRM. Now your small business can communicate like a big enterprise. See more of what Vonage can do for a lot of the stock market. There's some recognition by the Fed that if you tighten financial conditions much more you're going to do real damage to the economy. The Fed might hold here for a while but it's very difficult to see why they'd want to go a lot higher from here. Fed's retaining its optionality it's not saying we're definitively moving higher and it's certainly not saying seven percent. It's just hard to see what the positive catalyst is for markets today. This is Bloomberg Surveillance with Tom Kean, Jonathan Ferro, and Lisa Abramowitz. Pouring freezing cold water over this summer's happy talk. Live from New York City this morning. Good morning, good morning. This is Bloomberg Surveillance on TV and radio alongside Tom Kean and Lisa Abramowitz. I'm Jonathan Ferro. Your equity market is trying to bounce up by a third of one percent on the S &P. Yesterday at the close the lowest since June on the S &P on Nasdaq this morning. Tom in the FX market, the Euro 105, Dolly Yen pushing 150. Those are the major pairs but you can look at all the granularity of the foreign exchange market and see the trauma that's out there. It's not a soft landing, it's a abruptness here and the adverb I'm using is suddenly there's all sorts of suddenly. Kawa, you weren't here. Luke Kawa of UBS. What did Luke say? Luke nailed it. He said he went all Newtonian on us on Monday. He's talking first derivative, second derivative and the second derivative the accelerated force is in place on this Wednesday. At some point Lisa this treasury market sell -off becomes self -limiting because of the pain it inflicts elsewhere.
Fresh update on "trauma" discussed on Revision Path
"Absolutely. There's this quote that like history doesn't repeat, but it rhymes, which I like a lot. And yeah, you're absolutely right. There was stuff like Geocities back in the day, which is like very similar to that. And like The Sims, like in the 90s, which is obviously the metaverse. A lot of like old games that even I used to play, like Age of Empires, which is a game that I used to play way back when on the computer where you basically build your own civilization from scratch. There's all of these things that we had and that are kind of reemerging in this new environment. And yeah, there's so much of it and it's happening so fast. That like, I certainly don't think like, you know, aging, like somewhat archaic, like government institutions can really navigate this territory. But I think that the people who have had experience in that space, the gamers and creative technologists and creative people, artists do. And I think it's, again, an opportunity to challenge the institutions that we sort of just accept. I think that like your sort of description of like the digital real estate is a great example because like, yeah, it's technically not real, but it is real. And it starts to like challenge your idea of like what's real or not, which has pros and cons. But, you know, when you think about a concept like manifest destiny, you know how the country was conquered and these false deeds that, you know, allow people to take land and property and kind of a fabricated legality behind it. It's pretty fascinating because to me in that context, it's like, OK, there's like a subtle, subtle difference between somebody holding a piece of paper that because of their authority makes them the owner of a thing that they can just then take from you. And like this other thing, which is digital, which is, you know, it's kind of two sides of the same coin and the physicality of it is sort of it's an inconvenient, sometimes just an inconvenient kind of truth about the way we experience the world. But yeah, I mean, that's what I get excited about information science about is when you get into like quantum physics and all of the really weird stuff about reality and tangibility. But it's all connected. And I think, yeah, it's fascinating. I think people should be kind of cautiously enthusiastic about this whole space, this whole like kind of new digital environment. And it's always healthy, I think, to just look at history for examples of how things can go right and how things can go wrong. Absolutely. I'm actually taking that approach now as it relates to social media. So like we're recording this now at a time when Twitter just became X, what, like, I don't know, a couple of days ago or something like that. And people had already been having kind of, you know, reservations about the platform ever since the new owner took ownership and how things have changed. And so, of course, since then, a number of different Twitter like clones have sort of popped up or they've made themselves known. I'll say I won't say they just popped up with like there's spoutable, there's spill, there's post, there's a Mastodon has been around for a long time. There's blue sky. Instagram came out of left field with threads and like people are trying to determine like, OK, well, where should I go next? Well, should I go over here to threads? Well, threads does this. OK, well, let me go over to blue sky. Well, blue sky is like this. And can I get an invite? And it's like it reminds me of 2006, 2007 all over again. One with the invites. That's the first thing. Yeah, right. But then two with also when Twitter was around, then there were a number of clones that had popped up that was trying to like take its its market space. Eventually, like there was Pounce, there was Plurk, there was Jiku, there was Yammer. There might have been a couple of others. And like within a year's time, most of those didn't exist anymore. They either got acquired by a company and shut down or they just couldn't hack it, essentially, or they've pivoted to another market. Like Plurk is huge in Taiwan. I don't think anybody in the US really still uses Plurk anymore. So like I've been cautiously looking at like, oh, well, do I even want to be on these other platforms? Because even with Twitter, I don't share a bunch of shit on Twitter now anyway. And I don't think me migrating my presence to another platform is going to necessarily change that. Like people will say, oh, I'm on threads and oh, this reminds me of how social media used to be. And I'm like, look, if Elon Musk is the problem, Mark Zuckerberg is not the answer. Like, let's step back here and put this into some context. But also just thinking of like, I remember the Internet when social media was not a thing and it was fun. It was great. So even now, especially as I get older, I'm like, I don't even want to really have a social media presence. Like as a publisher of Revision Path, I have to think, oh, well, where do I want the show to be so people can find out about it? So then like I have to have those conversations with myself and my team about like, well, what even makes sense? But like personally, like I could give all of this up tomorrow and be fine. Yeah, I feel that it's kind of like, yeah, like a gold rush, like speculators, you know, like running to whatever the hot town is at the time and trying to like stake your claim. So, yeah, it's definitely spot on. And that would be a good archive, actually, is actually all of the like platforms that have come and gone and like in relation to all this stuff. I think it would be like a humbling thing to see just like like how many of them have just come and gone. Yeah. And only only a small few rise to the top because that's just like the nature of the thing. Yep. So as we try to rush from one thing to the next, it's just like it might be better to just take a minute to think about what it is we're actually trying to do and get from these platforms. And like, is there a way to like kind of reclaim that sovereignty and autonomy for ourselves? That's something that I'm really interested in and trying to put into practice more regularly. It's like, what's the connection? Because one thing that people have been talking about and I promise we'll pull this back into talking about you, but like but like one thing with people trying to go to these other platforms is then trying to like recreate the social graph that they had on Twitter. So they're like, oh, well, if you're going to be here, then I need to be here. And where are my people that are also on this? And it's like, well, you can't take your network with you in that way. There's your offline real world network that always stays with you. And then there's this sort of ersatz cultivated network that's been done through the social media platform that now you have to try to recreate and reconstruct on some other platform that may not even exist within a year's time. Exactly. And also with the old platform, X, Twitter, whatever it is, if you've had people muted or blocked or things of that nature, now that you've moved to this new platform, those restrictions no longer really apply. So they can try to like harass you somewhere else. They can try to befriend you somewhere else. And you're like, no, I don't talk to you on Twitter. That means I don't talk to you anywhere. It's so weird. It's so like, oh, it's very complex. Which makes me want to just give it all up. I'm like, this is y'all can have it. It's not it's not this serious. Yeah, it gets overwhelming. And it's especially challenging, I think, for people who like who find a lot of value in kind of distributing their identity or like having new identities online that they can't have in, quote unquote, real life, because that is something that's very beneficial for a lot of people. I would include myself in a part of that. And especially, I think, like younger generations and clear folks is like, not generally, but a lot of people find a lot of value in being able to assume a different identity and being able to sort of go to a new town, so to speak, where nobody knows your name and being able to recreate yourself. And there's a lot of challenges behind that with all these new platforms, with legacy platforms that that fade away. One of the things that I'm really concerned about with Twitter and just like these social platforms in general is something called link rot, link rot. This idea that, like, I think we forget that the Internet is very ephemeral and that, like, if a server goes down, if people aren't there to maintain it, that like all of your tweets can just go away or all of your the things you've saved in Google Drive or, you know, whatever other cloud service or all the things you posted on Facebook can just go away. One day, there's just this wealth of knowledge on a platform like Twitter that could be lost not only with the name change, but with the infrastructural changes that are there. And it's the equivalent of like burning down the library of Alexandria with all of these connections and conversations and this sort of archive of this moment in time that we will never see again. It's a little like concerning, not a little concerning. It's pretty like it worries me a bit. You know, I did a talk, oh, my God, this is maybe two or three years ago, I did a talk called Content is Subject to Change about this very same thing, about how the Internet is not an archive. I know there is the Internet archive, but that is a small nonprofit that one can't archive the full web because there are certain restrictions around the type of content, about the location of said content. It's not even available in some countries. So like you can't archive the full web, but but also just sort of talking about with the advent of user generated content through social media, Web 2.0, et cetera. We are putting so much stuff on the Internet without thinking about how it is being stored, if it's being stored like news articles, like try to find a news article from 10 years ago and see if all the images still work or see if all the links, you know, link right. Like you mentioned, still works. And like it makes it hard for history purposes, for archiving, et cetera. Yeah, like the Internet is very ephemeral in that aspect. Yeah, and that's like one of the sort of ambitions of you, the platform that I'm working on with Ami is like to at least kind of our own in our own way, create these tools and allow people to create their own tools where they can create a living archive of at least themselves, of at least their digital self and try to connect it to their physical self in a way that is ownable. That's, you know, has sovereignty for them and reclaiming all that data, reclaiming all of the information that we've dumped online and making sure that you're able to house it somewhere that you can access and not lose it, because all of that stuff is hugely, hugely important. People's digital stuff is I don't think we think about this consciously all the time. We kind of take it for granted, but it's not until you lose it, you know, not until like the house burns down with all your stuff in it that you're like, oh, man. Right. I probably should have like saved that somewhere, made a copy of it. Put it on a physical hard drive or something. Yeah, right. Absolutely. Yeah. Even, you know, as you mentioned that, that kind of reminded me about sort of one of the restrictions of threads, like when people were sort of looking at different platforms to jump to and sort of the notion you mentioned about people being able to assume different identities on different platforms, like there's who you are maybe in the real world. But then on the Internet, you can be a different person or a different identity or something like that. And I know there were people like adult industry professionals, you know, sex workers, porn stars, et cetera, who said that they had joined threads and like threads because it's Instagram and Instagram is owned by Facebook, like now links them, their stage name to their like real person identity. And that if you try to delete threads, then now you delete Instagram. So now it's like tying together these things you didn't ask to be tied together. But because you've opted into the platform and, you know, no one reads the long ass and usual or the or the terms of service. But now that you've opted into it, it's like this is what you signed on for. Yeah. And you can't go back. Yeah. And it's like it's super like manipulative, I think, in nefarious and not by accident. And yeah, that's in and of itself a huge conversation about sex work online and sort of platform in surveillance capitalism. And I have friends who are sex workers. I kind of consider myself to be in that territory, at least online anyway. I have an OnlyFans. It's a huge issue, not only the deplatforming, the silencing, all of that stuff, which I think is like hugely messed up because in a lot of ways, these platforms make a lot of money. From, you know, the revenue that's generated by these users, these citizens of their platforms, while at the same time silencing them, even sometimes encouraging violence and disrespect towards them. There aren't a lot of like really safe, equitable spaces for sex workers and marginalized folks online. And I'm excited about seeing more of that. I think like the metaverse, not Mark Zuckerberg's metaverse, but the metaverse more broadly and gaming and kind of world building environments is at least one space that I feel excited about the opportunity for those things to open up more and just people like making their own platforms. I think like back to the era of blogging, you know, like hosting your own platform yourself. I think that's exciting. And I think we'll probably see people do more of that for sure. Because I think people are getting like really fatigued with all of this stuff. Yeah, no, absolutely. I feel like we could have a whole other podcast episode just about what we talked about with like the advent of technology through porn and sex work, like a lot of technological innovation, especially like when we talk about synthetic media and things like that. Unfortunately, it's come because of that, that innovation has spurred technological innovation. But we've spent a lot of time talking about this. I want to make sure that this interview is also about you. So let's let's switch gears here, learn more about you. Now, you're originally from Cleveland, is that right? That's right. Yeah, I was born and raised there. I lived there until I was about 13. And then I moved around in the south quite a bit. I went to high school in Douglasville, Georgia, for about a year. I went to high school in Montgomery, Alabama. That's actually where I graduated high school. And I yeah, I ended up going to SCAD and Savannah for two years. I'm a college dropout. I love my time at SCAD, especially the people and just like that city I think is beautiful. Yeah, I was a 3D animation major and an illustration minor. I thought I wanted to work at Pixar at that time. That was my first like, kind of venture into the 3D space, at least using computers. And I think it kind of stuck with me, even though I hadn't, like, revisited it until more recently. A lot of the ideas, understanding the potential of it definitely stuck with me. I've always been interested in science and technology. I would have just as soon went into, you know, robotics or something like when I was a kid, I wanted to be an aeronautical engineer. I wanted to be a paleontologist. I had all these kind of aspirations. I think that's true for a lot of creative people. I think something that I realized about kind of the world we live in is the unfortunate sort of reality of this kind of reductionist approach to so many things where you have to like choose one thing to be when that's not really how the world works. And that was definitely like a big part of like starting the studio was that like using it as a vehicle to do whatever I wanted to do. And I think people feel inspired to like rally around that. So, yeah, that's been the journey with that. Now, after SCAD, I saw that you kind of worked for a while as a designer. You worked for Radio One for a while, but then you also started collaborating with other creatives. You started this collective called The Big Up. Tell me about that, because it sounds like that's kind of been the basis for what you do now through the Young Never Sleep. Yeah, 100 percent. At SCAD, I met a group of really like dynamic people. Brittany Bosco being one of them, Alex Goose, Danny Swain, Lloyd Harold, a number of other amazing people. We all kind of went our separate ways, but stayed in touch. And then after going back to Montgomery for a little bit, I went back to Atlanta. And at that time, I was just doing just like freelance graphic design, doing like club flyers and making people's like album artwork. Faria Kader was one of the people. Oh, yeah, I know Faria. Yes, she's awesome. She's one of the people who like kind of helped jumpstart my design career. And yeah, I started working with Brittany and Alex Goose and Danny really closely. I've done album artwork for Danny. I did some vocals on one of his albums. I've done album artwork for Brittany and like her shows kind of posters and things like that. So, yeah, we started the collective, The Big Up, and it was essentially like part label, part creative agency where we just wanted to do everything in the house. We made the music, we made the art for the music, we did the set design, we did everything. And that was definitely like one of the things that I think transitioned me from being an artist to being like more of a design thinker and certainly like a systems design thinker. And then I, yeah, I worked for Hot 107.9 for a little while. I actually lived there for a short period of time. I had an experience with like houselessness for like a brief period of time. And I actually like lived at Hot 107.9 making designs for like Birthday Bash and I would just like stay in the studio and everybody left and just like sleep there. I'd always been interested in computers. Like I had a computer at home, it was really old and now I play games on it and do stuff I wasn't supposed to be doing. But yeah, at Hot 107.9, you know, just being there for that time, I was like obsessively going through blogs. You know, this is the time of LimeWire and all of that stuff and just torrents and downloading just 20 albums at a time and just listening to like, you know, Japanese prob rock and just cosmic jazz and like all this crazy stuff from everywhere. It was incredible. And I remember I saved like all this music on a hard drive and I end up like losing that hard drive. So I think maybe that might be like some trauma that made me want to archive. There might be some trauma there. I'm like, I never want to lose anything ever again. Listen, I have a hard drive here now at the house. It's got a ton of music on it that I can't access for some reason. And I'm like, one day I'm going to crack it and get all my music back. That's on there. So I feel you there. The world needs that. Yeah. But yeah, yeah, the big up. Yeah, that was definitely like one of the things that was kind of like seeded the young nervous sleep and what was possible through that. You know, it's been a journey. I still am connected to Bosco. The last time we worked together was a project with Spectacles is one of my favorite projects. I've worked on there actually. And one of the things that kind of set the trajectory from where I'm headed now with my work, we did a her single July 4th or 4th of July. We created this video, which was essentially a concept for a music video game and mixed reality. Yeah. It was a really, really cool project where we like used the AR lenses from a lot of like lens studio creators. And I made toys based on the characters in the video and made like several AR experiences are really great, like 360 projects. Um, it's really cool. So, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brittany was actually on our 2019 honoree list for 28 days of the web. Yeah. We have a, we have like a sister site where for black history month for February, we profile 14 men, 14 women that are doing like really interesting, great digital stuff online, whether that's design tech, et cetera. That's something I've done for the past 10 years. I've been debating on stopping it. This is my first time saying this publicly, by the way, but cause I've done it for 10 years. I'm like, you know, 10 is a good round number. I don't know if I want to do it again for next year, mainly because, and I didn't think this would be the case at it, but I don't know, maybe it's kind of tied into our conversation. Some people just don't want that presence online anymore. So they're contacting us and being like, yeah, can you take down the profile that you did? Like they thanked me when it was up, but then now that it's up to like, yeah, can you get rid of that? Because I'm like, yeah, so I don't know. I'm still, I'm on the fence about doing it again for 2024, but we've done it since 2014. So it's been 10 years. So I don't know, maybe we will, maybe we won't. I don't know. Yeah, I feel that it's like that things change. Now, when you look back at you know, some of the big places you've worked, like you mentioned Snap, you were there for four years in LA. You've also been a Cartoon Network for four years here in Atlanta. When you look back, like collectively at those experiences, what do you still carry with you from there? My experience working at those places for me was like my school. I apply myself in these careers as me, like learning by doing. At Cartoon Network, I got a deep appreciation for how to apply artistic thinking to design. There's a fine line between art and design and sometimes it's non-existent. And I think at Cartoon Network, I got an appreciation for how art and design can be the same thing. I got an appreciation for systems thinking again. I tell people we essentially did everything except make the cartoons. So we were doing, you know, interstitials, making commercials, print ads, web ads. We did immersive experiences for Comic-Con. You know, we build a booth. I helped make a gigantic inflatable obstacle course in the Bahamas. There's like so much work that got done making premiums, you know, clothes and all kinds of things, working for cartoon and Adult Swim. You get a real sense of like all of the touch points that have to happen in order to make a project successful or a product like launch successful. So I got a real sense of that there. And I have to thank people like Jacob Escobedo who got me the job. And for him believing in me, not having a degree, just seeing my work, he literally just asked me to bring in a sketchbook. He looked through my sketchbook and hired me based on that, which I, you know, I really appreciate him for that. And then Candace House, I have to say, is someone who like sharpened my eye for detail and quality. She as an art director is, you know, exceptional and is someone who I think just is exemplary of the Cartoon Network brand. So I got that there. And then I left after four years. I graduated, so to speak. And then I freelance for a while with that knowledge, working on, you know, projects for Dolby and HBO and several other kind of higher profile brands, which it's great for me, I think, to go back and forth to have like this kind of independent, you know, self-starting thing, but also to be, you know, within the institution, because I think you just learn different things from those experiences. And then after a while, I got the job at Snap through by working with Larissa Haggio, who's a fashion designer in L.A., Andrew McPhee, her partner got me introduced to Snap and the Spectacles team. And at Spectacles, I was there for four years, another kind of graduate situation. I think the big takeaway there was how hard it is to make tech. I got a much deeper appreciation for the things that I think a lot of us take for granted when our laptop is on the fritz or the GPS doesn't work perfectly. It's easy for us to complain, but I got a real reverence for like the complexity and challenge of trying to make a piece of hardware and a piece of software and also trying to like get it out into the market in a way that people will embrace it. It's a very, very hard, complex thing to do. And I was there through four launches, four product launches, doing a little bit of everything with the brand and even like influencing the product as well. I got a lot of experience with working with product teams and trying to set the vision and design a product. So I think those two like kind of big pillars, Cartoon Network and Snap Spectacles together, I think, you know, alongside my independent work, really set the stage for where I'm headed in the future. I love that you kind of referred to both of those experiences as like graduation for sure, because I mean, you know, jobs do you know, we're working at these places, they do teach us things. It's not just, you know, kind of a particular tenure of employment, like some of the work that you did, just looking back, like with Cartoon Network and Adult Swim, when I said before that I've seen your work before I've seen your work where I knew it was you, the Adult Swim singles covers and stuff. I mean, I mean, some of the best designs I've seen and I'm like, this is coming out of Atlanta. And I mean, during a time when honestly, you know, and I would probably still maybe say this even now, people don't look at Atlanta as a design city. Yeah, 100%. You know, like, I mean, I think certainly they look at us for entertainment. They look at just the creativity that comes here out of like the music scene. But, you know, I can tell you from doing a show for 10 years, people do not look at Atlanta for design at all. Yeah, you're right. Tech, they've started to because of the startup scene, but like design, please do not get me started about some of the design arguments and conversations I've had locally trying to help put Atlanta on the map. About stuff. It's just like, man, I don't know. Yeah, it's such a shame. It's such does such a disservice to the culture to not acknowledge that a lot of us been doing it for a long time. And like, I appreciate that you continue to advocate. I think it's true. I'm passionate and committed to Atlanta. I'm not like an Atlanta loyalist. Like I really having lived other places like other places are really amazing as well. But I think it definitely does a disservice to the city to not acknowledge the design and art and tech and entertainment and all of those things that are very much present here. But what I really see is just like an opportunity actually to continue to foster the kinds of platforms that need to be unique to this city. I think that's one thing that we're tasked with or anyone who's creative here is like, if you're a person who's committed to this city and committed to seeing it continue to improve the reference points don't need to be anywhere else. But this place and people who live here and that's it, it has its own thing. And like, that's all it kind of needs to be. Absolutely. Yeah. What do you think it means to be a creative person today? I think it's like a common thread for me to see creativity as a way of self affirmation on a really, really deep level. I think it's a way to self reflect and to obviously connect with other people. I think from that place, when I think about something like a term that's maybe on the verge of being overused. Now, this term world building, even before coming across the word, I think that our task of world building as creative people, whether that is world building through writing a novel or doing photo shoots or making video games or creating a space where people can come and enjoy themselves or receive healing. I think world building as a practice is kind of our premier task. The way that I sort of contextualizes for people is like me as a young black queer kid growing up, the world builders that I knew were my grandmother and my mother and my aunt, who, when I stepped into their homes, I was confronted by all of this beauty, black intellect. My grandmother had libraries about black people, about Africa and black dolls, and the walls were painted colorfully and bright. And, you know, my aunt's home is just, you step into this world that's like self affirming and it really just like nourishes you and it builds you back up to step out into the world, into a world that is not always so affirming. And to me, I think that's the premier, I think, task is to continue to build that world and to do it together and bring it all together because we have the power to shape the trajectory of, you know, the world we live in and change the outcomes just by making it, you know, by making it real. And I'm excited about that. And I think the depth of that pursuit means challenging institutions continuously, challenging how education is disseminated, challenging how social systems are disseminated, challenging authority kind of at all levels. Yeah. And just like affirming ourselves and even making something a little bit better is, I think, a win, a victory. In recent years, what would you say is like one of the biggest lessons that you've learned about yourself? I think it's been humbling and like exciting to put my own creative pursuit within the context of like this sort of like deep time being conscious of that. It's opened a huge window for me as a part of like my research. Like I recognize that, oh, wait, like the sort of visual and sonic, you know, and conceptual themes that I'm tapping into through my work all exist on a continuum and in a network of like all these other, you know, minds and ideas and sort of questions. And once I step back and sort of like look at that in that context, you start to get like a different picture, like a different picture emerges of like, okay, we're all having like this collective conversation. I think like touching on this idea of artificial intelligence, again, is like this sort of collective consciousness that's present through history, through this deep time of like nature and all these things. Tracing that thread, it's sort of simultaneously reduced who I am and like also expanded it in ways that are just like reinvigorating. And it's pretty profound to me. It's felt profound. Now, this might be a big question, like kind of given, I think the general kind of trajectory of where your work is, but like what kind of work do you want to be doing within the next five years? Like what's the next chapter look like for you? It's a little tricky because there's kind of a duality. Like I want to like be more accepting of like where I am, whatever the circumstances and in many ways just like live small, like live in a more small way on like a personal level. But at the same time, I want to show people what's like really tangibly possible through the practice of world building and self kind of recreation. We're living in this sci-fi world and, you know, we watch really entertaining shows, you know, Black Mirror and Marvel movies or whatever, all these things that are really cool, like narratives. But I think I want to like kind of take storytelling a little further. I really want to make tangible extensions of myself or of other people or worlds that people can really step into, make that collectively with other creatives. I think the practice of world building, I take it really seriously because I know that a world has been built for me to live in. I always use like Frank Ocean's line, living in an idea from another man's mind. I think that perfectly encapsulates like our current circumstance, that somebody had an idea that one person of a color was less than another person. And now we live inside that idea. And a lot of the things that we now have to contend with, the social institutions were just somebody's idea that they wrote in a book, you know, just, you know, proselytize to their group of friends. And then it became a global institution that has industries and infrastructure and military might to support it. And that to me is like fascinating that that that can happen from just the seed of an idea. So the creative pursuit, I think, is not to be underestimated that you as a person who has a concept or has an idea, you couldn't begin to comprehend what that could look like in 10 years, 100 years, 1,000 years. And I kind of want to show people that, that like, you know, when we say another world is possible, that like, no, actually, yeah, you know, like the world like for real and that it is, you know, and it's not only possible, but it's probable and practical as well. That's what I want to do. Well, just to kind of wrap things up here, and I know we've we've covered a lot, but just to wrap things up, where can our audience find out more information about you, about your work? Where can they follow you online? So you can go to at the young never sleep on Instagram or the young never sleep dot org online. My Instagram has a link tree with a bunch of other links as well that people can jump into. Those are the best places to find me. All right. Sounds good. Brandon Collins. Wow. Wow. This conversation was so good. I think one, it was just, I mean, first of all, thank you again. For for coming on the show, but like the stuff that you're covering are the things that I think as designers, as creatives, as technologists, we need to be thinking about because we're probably best equipped to actually help to shape that future of what things can look like through technology, through visuals, et cetera. And I just thank you for helping to put these ideas out there. Thank you for the work that you're doing. You know, hopefully one day we'll have rum together at El Marlo for sure. But yeah, again, thank you so much for coming on the show, man. I appreciate it. Thank you very much. Have a good one.Big, big thanks to Brandon Collins. And of course, thanks to you for listening. You can find out more about Brandon and his work through the links in the show notes at revision path dot com. Revision path is supported by brevity and wit. Brevity and wit is a strategy and design firm committed to designing a more inclusive and equitable world. They are always looking to expand their roster of freelance design consultants in the US, particularly brand strategists, copywriters, graphic designers and web developers. If you know how to deliver excellent creative work reliably and enjoy the autonomy of a virtual based freelance life with no non-competes, check them out at Brevity and wit dot com Brevity and wit. Creative excellence without the grind. Revision path is supported by the School of Visual Arts, BFA Design and BFA Advertising programs. SVA values originality and critical thinking while providing students an immersive learning experience with their faculty of industry experts. The BFA Design program empowers students with the tools and opportunities to shape the future of design. And the BFA Advertising program equips students with the skills in media and new tech needed to excel in the advertising industry. Learn more at SVA dot edu and enroll today to join one of the most influential artistic communities in the world. Revision path is brought to you by lunch, a multidisciplinary creative studio located in Atlanta, Georgia. Our executive producer is Maurice Cherry and our editor and audio engineer is R.J. Basilio. Intro voiceover is by music man Dre with intro and outro music by yellow speaker. If you like this episode, let us know. We're on social media. You can find us on Instagram. You can find us on Twitter slash X. 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A highlight from Advanced Nutrition Strategies for Inflammation and Insulin Resistance
"Hello, and welcome to the Dr. Jockers Functional Nutrition Podcast, the show designed to give you science -based solutions to improve your health and life. I'm Dr. David Jockers, doctor of natural medicine and creator of DrJockers .com, and I'm the host of this podcast. I'm here to tell you that your body was created to heal itself, and on this show, we focus on strategies you can apply today to heal and function at your best. Thanks for spending time with me, and let's go into the show. If you're struggling with stiff or aching joints, and you're tired of letting the cis -comfort steal the joy and freedom from your life, then I have a natural solution you're going to love. It's called Joint Support by Pure Health Research, and this stuff is amazing. It contains seven of Mother Nature's best superfoods for supporting comfortable, healthy, and flexible joints. It even promotes healthy cartilage growth, too. All it takes is one small capsule of joint support every day to start feeling the positive effects on your health. As a listener of our show, you can try Joint Support risk -free today and get a free 30 -day supply of Omega -3 when you take advantage of this special offer. It can promote healthy joint lubrication, making it easier to move in comfort. You're also getting two free e -books, so you can learn more about joint health. Just head over to getjointhelp .com forward slash jockers. That's G -E -T -J -O -I -N -T -H -E -L -P dot com forward slash J -O -C -K -E -R -S getjointhelp .com forward slash jockers to order Joint Support and claim your free bottle of Omega -3 while supplies last. Again, that's getjointhelp .com forward slash jockers. Welcome back to the podcast. In this episode, I'm being interviewed by Dr. Beverly Yates for her upcoming Reverse Type 2 Diabetes Summit. We talk all about the best advanced nutrition strategies to reduce inflammation and improve insulin sensitivity. There's a lot of things you can do if you are looking to lose weight, if you're looking to improve your blood sugar sensitivity. We know insulin resistance is at the root of all chronic inflammatory conditions, but there's a lot we can do from a nutrition perspective. We go through that in this interview. I talk a lot about intermittent fasting and how that helps improve mitochondrial function, helps improve blood sugar stability and turn on fat burning. We talk about how to improve your stomach acid, bile flow, pancreatic enzymes, so you can reduce the amount of endotoxins that are released from your gut and into your bloodstream that drive up inflammatory activity in your body. So this is a really powerful presentation showing you exactly what you need to do to stabilize your blood sugar, to burn fat for fuel and reduce inflammation. If you know anybody that's dealing with type 2 diabetes, prediabetes, perhaps they're overweight looking to lose weight or they're obese, please share this episode with them. And you can also check out the Reversing Type 2 Diabetes Summit that Dr. Yates is putting on. Just go to the show notes for this episode on DrJockers .com and there will be a link there where you can register for free for the Reversing Type 2 Diabetes Summit and listen to all the great interviews with top experts when it comes to blood sugar stability and type 2 diabetes. And if you have not left us a five -star review for this podcast, please do that now. When you leave us a review, it helps us reach more people and impact more lives with this message. It's really easy to do. Just go to Apple iTunes or wherever you listen to the podcast, scroll to the bottom, usually the review areas at the bottom and leave us a five -star review, leave a comment in there. That means so much to us and helps us reach more people. So thank you for doing that. Thank you for being a part of our community and let's go into the show. Hey everyone, welcome to the Reversing Type 2 Diabetes Summit. I'm your host, Dr. Beverly Yates, MD. It's my distinct privilege and honor to interview a wonderful colleague of mine, Dr. David Jockers. He's been a leader in many aspects of health and continues to help people have clarity about their health. One of the things that's so interesting as we do all the episodes here for the summit is I'm trying very consciously to give people different points of view and different aspects of what it takes for blood sugar success to be well. So with Dr. David Jockers, we're going to introduce him in just a moment here. He's a doctor of natural medicine and runs one of the most popular natural health websites online in drjockers .com and has gotten over a million views for monthly visitors and his work is really popular. It's been seen on shows like The Dr. Oz Show and Hallmark Home and Family. He's the author of the best -selling book, The Keto -Metabolic Breakthrough and also The Fasting Transformation. He's a world -renowned expert in the area of ketosis, fasting, brain health, inflammation and functional nutrition. He also hosts his popular Dr. Jockers Functional Nutrition podcast. Be sure to look up his work, check out what that he's offering. Dr. Jockers, welcome to our summit. Thanks so much, Dr. Beverly. Great to be on with you. Yeah. You know, I've really been excited for our talk because I think that there are so many ways in which people can eat and nourish themselves and some things are certainly more helpful or successful when it comes to blood sugar control and glycemic regulations than others. So with that in mind, let's dig in right away here. So please, if you would share with us your perspective here, what is inflammation and how does it develop? Yeah. Inflammation is just a natural process of healing. In fact, it's actually designed to help protect our body from some sort of chronic systemic infection and so, well, not chronic infection, but some sort of systemic acute infection from killing us quickly. And so I think we look at the history of mankind. More people have died from infections that got into our bloodstreams, bloodstreams spread throughout our body, went into major vital organs and killed us is what used to kill most of our ancestors. And so our body has created this inflammatory process to help protect against that. So the infection that gets in doesn't get into our lungs and cause pneumonia or our nervous system and cause meningitis. And so in order to do that, we created this inflammatory process to keep basically infection under control. And it's also part of the healing process. We break down damaged tissue and we try to remove that in order to build new healthy tissue. So for example, if we sprain our ankle, we're going to break down that tissue and try to rebuild new healthy tissue in that area. So inflammation itself is life saving. The issue is that it should be turned off when the appropriate area is healed. And so in our society, we have certain vectors that are turning up inflammation. For example, one is called leaky gut, right? So when somebody has leaky gut, there's damage, micro damage to the intestinal lining. And every time that person's eating food, particularly food that causes more gut irritation, they are further tearing that gut lining and they're not really allowing their body to heal properly. And therefore, they're spewing out bacteria and endotoxins into their bloodstream through that lining, through that hole. And that's driving up inflammation in the body because the body thinks that it's under attack from some sort of systemic infection or some sort of basically infectious process that could be life threatening. And so we've got to do what we can to get inflammation under control in our society. And so I think about it like a fire in a fireplace. You know, if the fire is on in the fireplace, it's great. It warms the house. You know, it creates a great environment, an ambiance. However, when we dump gasoline on the fire, right now it spreads on the walls and starts to burn our home. And obviously that's when it's a major issue. And so in our society, we have lifestyle habits that are dumping gasoline on the fire and causing us to burn up our home. And we just don't really understand it. We don't realize that's actually what we're doing to our body. And then we later, you know, after doing this for years and years and years, we get diagnosed with the chronic disease. But this is many years of chronic inflammation, damaging cells, tissues and organ systems of our body leading to, you know, that disease diagnosis. Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you for laying that out so clearly. You know, it's so interesting in clinical work, sometimes it comes up. People are like, this just happened to me overnight, thinking that their body has attacked them or betrayed them and that their diagnosis has come on all of a sudden when in reality, nope, this was years in the making. So thank you so much for pointing that out for us. So anyone listening to this, if you have an inflammatory problem, please know. It took time for it to develop and it will take some time for it to heal. The good news is, if healing is possible, that it's likely to be a lot faster compared to the silent onset process. It's like too bad. It would be great if our body, as we get more and more inflamed, gave us a sound or a noise or maybe we turned polka dotted or something so we can know that something's going on here, you know? Yeah, for sure. And many times people do have chronic symptoms that are giving them a warning sign. And we just ignore it in our society, right? It's kind of like a check engine light goes on in our car. Typically we know, okay, I need to bring this in and get it looked at. But in our society, if we have headaches, chronic headaches, if we have chronic gut pain, if we have chronic joint pain, if we have skin rashes, acne, eczema, if we are gaining weight and we try some lifestyle strategies and we're just not losing weight, if we're gaining weight and we can go on and on, in our society, oftentimes the first thing we do is we go right to some sort of medication or we try to just ignore it. It's like we just let the check engine light stay on or we take some duct tape and just kind of stick it over it and pretend that everything's okay with the car. And that's really what we're doing. We're not actually getting to the root cause. Exactly. So that brings me to my very next question for you, which is this. What are some of the root causes of inflammation and how can this be measured quantitatively with lab testing? So when we look at root causes of chronic inflammation, one, and this is what you're really addressing in this summit, is a diet and lifestyle that is not right, right? So high blood sugar and insulin resistance, primarily driven by the food that we're consuming and lack of exercise, right? Lack of movement, food that we're consuming, obviously stress plays a role. So high stress, poor sleep hygiene and poor sleep quality. Sleep quality is super important. We've got to make sure we're sleeping really well when we are sleeping, but also proper hygiene when it comes to sleep. That plays a big role with our sleep quality. For example, shift workers, they might sleep eight or nine hours, but because they're sleeping at the wrong hours that are not right with, you know, humans, natural circadian rhythm or we're supposed to be sleeping at night, they tend to have higher levels of blood sugar and insulin resistance compared to people that are sleeping the same amount of hours and working kind of a normal shift and then sleeping overnight. So those are major factors. And then beyond that, we have things like chronic infections. So we know that when we have different infections, whether it's a candida overgrowth in our gut, small intestinal bacterial overgrowth, H. pylori infections in our stomach, parasite infections, Lyme disease, things like that, that all drives up inflammatory processes in our body. Chronic overload of toxicity. All of us are exposed to chemicals in our air, water and food. So all of us have levels of toxicity coming into our system. But if our drainage and detoxification pathways are working properly, we should be eliminating a good amount of those and keeping our toxic bucket under control. And so we all have kind of like a toxic threshold. And so if we keep things under that threshold by keeping, you know, by limiting our exposure to toxins and then by allowing our body to detox and drain effectively, then, you know, that doesn't drive inflammation. However, if we're consuming lots of toxins from the food, we eat the air, we breathe the things we're putting on our skin, the water we're drinking, and then we're not doing things to help improve our lymphatic system, our liver, our gut, our kidneys. Right. We're not we're not peeing. You know, we should be urinating. Right. We should be peeing out toxins. We should be breathing them out. So respiration, perspiration, that's sweating, urination and defecation. Right. So we should be peeing, pooping, breathing. And sweating out these toxins. If we're not doing that, then our toxic load goes up, goes over that threshold, drives inflammation in the body. So toxicity is a big factor. You know, I mentioned stress. There can also be things like post -traumatic stress disorders. Right. So where somebody's had major trauma and their body never really recovered from that trauma and they're kind of reliving that trauma. Maybe somebody that was a war veteran or perhaps they were sexually abused or something along those lines. Right. They may relive those traumas on a regular basis, driving up inflammation in the body. So all of these things need to be addressed and and considered. Somebody might be living in a mold toxic house, right, breathing in mold and mycotoxins on a daily basis. They're trying to live a healthy lifestyle, but they're constantly overloading their their system with toxins. And so we've got to be able to look at all of those factors and make sure that we're addressing those to keep inflammation under control. Now, when we're measuring inflammation on labs, there's some easy labs that we can look at. You know, you can get done on blood work. For example, one of the most common is high sensitivity C reactive protein. CRP is a protein that our body, our immune system produces in response to inflammation. And, you know, so long as you don't get a false negative, like if you work out really intensely right before you get your blood test done, your CRP will be through the roof. That's actually a healthy level of inflammation, because after we exercise, we have inflammation to help our body heal and recover. So normally you want to not work out roughly 48 hours before getting the test done, ideally at least 24 hours. So you get the right measurement and your HSCRP should ideally be under one and really as close to zero as possible. And so typically it's not flag tie unless it's up over two or three, somewhere in that range. But anything over one is a sign that there's underlying inflammation there. And that's something that we definitely want to look at and address. So that's a big factor. You know, I know in this in this summit, I'm sure you've got people talking about things like hemoglobin A1C. We know hemoglobin A1C, that's a sign of the glycation process or basically when a sugar molecule binds to a major protein, like in this case, when it binds to hemoglobin, major protein that helps bring oxygen to the cells in the body and denatures the hemoglobin. And so it causes a sticky protein process. So we should have ideally like the optimal range really is is really under under 5 .2 on the hemoglobin, 5 .2 percent under. And so typically in our society, nothing is flagged until it's up over six, up over six percent. I like to keep mine under five, right? Between four point five and five. Some are in that range to make sure that my hemoglobin, my red blood cells have great capacity to bring oxygen to the cells so I can create the cellular energy I need to really thrive. So hemoglobin A1C is a really good marker. There's another one actually that you can test, too. It's it's it's called a novel marker for systemic inflammation. It's called GlycA, right? And so it's also a marker of glycosylation and again, a sugar molecule binding to proteins. In this case, GlycA looks at proteins particularly involved in the immune system. And so when that's elevated, I like to see it between one hundred and three hundred. Some are in that range, more closer to one hundred when it's up over three hundred. We know that's a sign of systemic inflammation. In fact, there are some individuals that will have normal HSCRP, but we'll see the GlycA elevated. And so that's a really good it's a novel marker. They've just been doing a number of studies on that, really starting just in the last five years. Very interesting marker. We know, for example, statin drugs will have a cholesterol lowering medications can have a mild anti -inflammatory effect that may bring CRP down, but they don't bring GlycA down. Whereas a lot of lifestyle strategies that you're talking about on the summit will help bring both of those markers down. And so that's a that's a really important thing to be looking at. Another key marker is LDH, lactate dehydrogenase, which is part of our natural energy, you know, our glycolysis and Krebs cycle. It's kind of a Krebs cycle glycolysis intermediary enzyme. And so when that's elevated, it's a sign that there's inflammation, particularly heart tissue related as well as liver. Right. Could be related to liver. And speaking of liver, liver enzymes are another really good marker. So when we're seeing liver enzymes like ALT, AST, GGT, when these when these are elevated up over roughly up over 25, that's a sign that there's inflammation affecting the liver cells. And then based on the ratios, for example, if ALT is real high, AST is kind of in the normal range, roughly 10 to 25 in that normal range. We know that inflammation is really affecting the liver when AST is high and ALT is more in the normal range or a lot lower than AST. We start thinking about that inflammation affecting muscle tissues or affecting the heart in particular. So that's a key marker for that. When GGT is real high up over 25 again and the AST and ALT are lower than the GGT, then we start thinking about biliary tree, gallbladder, bile ducts, that region. So it kind of helps us understand more of where that inflammation may be located. So these are just some of the markers. You know, if you get a good a good look, you know, you can also look at just a lipid panel, like where you're looking at your LDL, which is considered the bad cholesterol, your triglycerides, your HDL levels. We like to see the triglyceride to HDL ratio. If there was one thing I was going to look at on a lipid panel, I think all the markers can have some importance. We can get some good clinical data from all those markers. But if there was one marker I think is most important to look at, it would be the triglyceride to HDL ratio. So how many triglycerides, which are basically free fatty acids that our body can use as an energy source that are circulating in the bloodstream versus the high density lipoproteins, which are a carrier molecule that helps bring fats, lipids, all different types of molecules back to the liver from the cells. And so when we're looking at that ratio, we ideally should be under two. So under two parts triglyceride to HDL, roughly close to one. And that kind of close, as close to one as possible, one part triglyceride, one part HDL, like to see that triglyceride level certainly under a hundred. OK, and we look at that. That is a key marker for insulin resistance and inflammation. If your triglyceride to HDL ratio is up over two, if your HDL is under 50, you know, triglycerides are up over a hundred. You know, definitely a sign of insulin resistance and inflammation taking place in the body as long as the test is done fasting. Right. We always want to make sure with the lipid panel definitely can be affected if we eat a meal right before we we get that lab done. But that's a really key marker to look at and helps us understand how well our body's responding to getting nutrients into the cells. So when triglycerides are real high, we're not good at burning fat for fuel. We've got all these extra fats out in the cell or outside in the bloodstream. And those fats can become denatured and cause more reactive oxygen species and drive up oxidative stress and inflammation in the system. So all very important markers to be looking at. A lot of these tests are not expensive, but glyca is a little bit more pricey. But most of the other ones you can easily get from your physician. Just go in, ask for the high sensitivity, high sensitivity to your reactive protein, lipid panel, liver enzymes. Right. They'll run all of those. And then one other marker that we should look at as well as vitamin D levels are 25 hydroxy vitamin D. A lot of research out showing that levels on certainly under 30 nanograms per milliliter, where you're you're the lab will actually flag you as deficient, you know, linked with all cause mortality. So if you have levels under 30, you're all cause mortality, cancer, diabetes, heart disease, osteoporosis, neurodegenerative condition. We talk about any sort of chronic disease and then dying of anything goes up. Right. So it's really easy actually to bump that up. Ideally, we do it by getting in the sun. However, most of us just not getting enough sunshine. We may not be living in an area where the sun's going to impact us in a significant way to get the vitamin D if we're up. Let's say we live in Canada, we live in Maine, we live in these northern climates. It's going to be harder to get enough vitamin D from the sun. But if we are in a you know, even if we are in that location, like in the summer months, trying to get as much sun on as much of your body as possible. Obviously, you don't want to burn. But outside of that, trying to get the sunshine is key. Sun offers a lot more benefits than just a vitamin D supplement. However, taking a vitamin D supplement as well can be really helpful. I usually recommend about a thousand international units per twenty five pounds of body weight taken with meals you do at one or two doses, depending on how much of that you need. And that will definitely get your vitamin D levels up. You want to test every three to six months or so and kind of look at where you're at. Ideally, I like to see it up over 60 nanograms per milliliter, usually not concerned about overdosing. The research shows that as long as you keep it really under about 150 nanograms per milliliter, you won't deal with any sort of, you know, toxicity, vitamin D toxicity. It's really hard to get it up over 150, although it can be done if you're taking like 50 ,000 units every single day. So if you're taking roughly five, 10, 15 ,000 units every day, you're probably going to optimize your vitamin D and do really well. And so those would be some of the key labs I would definitely recommend. All right, great, thank you for that list of people listening, friends, you know, here in the audience, please do take out your notes, get your paper and pen ready, or if you're keeping a Google doc or however you're keeping track and look at this list because it'll be helpful to you to help guide your own health and be aware. And you may find you're already working with a doctor who's doing these kind of testing. It's not time to time to up level. Hey, I just wanted to interrupt this podcast to tell you about my cell liposomal glutathione. This is an amazing product because our modern world is toxic. No matter how health conscious you try to be. The truth is that every single day you and I are being bombarded by harmful toxins and stressors, things like EMF, 5G, heavy metals, chemicals, processed foods and the like. And when left to roam free, these toxins take on the form of something called free radicals. 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Fresh update on "trauma" discussed on WTOP 24 Hour News
"To know how important perseverance is, how critical that is to success in this world. Sharon Robinson -Goods, executive director of the Wisdom Walkers, a non -profit organization, says they're taking a group of three dozen people including six college on the Harriet Tubman Museum Tour and Historic Walk in Dorchester County, Maryland, this coming Saturday and Sunday. We feel honored just the idea of walking in some of the steps that she walked and she was walking 125 miles. We're going to do 20. Stephanie Gaines -Bryant, WTLP News. And this story is part of our continuing coverage of people making a difference in our community. To find out more, go to wtop .com. Police are asking for your help after the discovery of a woman's body in Burke Lake Park. Fairfax County Police were called to the park's campgrounds on Saturday. They found the body of 40 old -year Kara Abrascato inside what they call a makeshift tent. Police say she had trauma to her upper old woman in her upper body, cause of death still unknown. Police are looking for Rami El -Sayed, who they've named as a person of interest in the case. They also want to talk to anyone who was at the campground and saw that tent between September 18th and the 30th. You can see a photo of it at wtop .com. Sports 25 and 55, powered by Maximus, moving people and innovation forward. Hey Dave Preston, at the end of the regulation period of the Commander's Game, should they have gone for two, do you think? Just try to end it right there? Well,
A highlight from A Sober Journey to Becoming an Author
"You know, I had maybe 100 or 150 failed attempts behind me, you know, of me saying, that's it, no more. I'm not doing it today. I honestly can't say what the difference was that one time, but that one time I was well and truly freaking done. And I just said to my wife, I have to get help. It's out of control. I can't control it. And it was terrifying. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Addiction Unlimited podcast, where you get to learn everything you want to know about addiction and recovery. I'm your host, Angela Pugh, co -founder of Kansas City Recovery, Life Coach, and Recovering Alcoholics. To learn more about me, you can listen to episode zero on your podcast app or find us on the web at addictionunlimited .com. Hi, Will. Thank you so much for coming on and doing this show with me. It's so good to see you. Hey, Angela. Good to see you too. Take a couple of minutes and tell everybody a little bit about you and what you do. Thank you. So my name is Will Thacher, and I'm an author of addiction fiction novels. I'm also an addiction fiction nerd and fan. And that's my little world. I'm a sober guy and I love these stories. I'm a big lifelong avid reader. And I just sort of found this space, which there's really not that much in it. There are a handful of authors that have done some great work and I'm passionate about it. And so that's how I'm doing it. There are so many typical books that you get in the recovery space, right? It's not self -help based. It's not personal story based. It's not a memoir or a how -to or a guide, right? This is really reading for enjoyment. Totally. Yeah, that's exactly right. And you know, there are so many good books that are in the categories that you just listed. And there are new ones out every year and it's very well represented. Personally, I love fiction. It's something that I grew up with. I always had a book in my hands. And from my perspective, it's 90 % enjoyment. And there is a 10 % value in terms of relating this to my recovery, reading about people who are going through the same types of things, albeit in much more extreme circumstances in my books, relating that back to my own recovery. When we watch a movie, for example, that has characters in recovery or in active addiction, I have a very direct emotional reaction to that because I've lived through that pain. And I won't quite call it a spiritual experience, but certainly I'll have an emotional experience, a connection to those characters. So I do think that there is some little residual benefit to my recovery when I read these books. Yeah, I would agree with that for sure. And I think the audience can relate to this also in that recovery can be heavy work. Especially in the beginning, it takes so much of you and your time and your energy and it can start to feel very overwhelming. So to not constantly be immersed in the self -help, the personal development, sobriety, recovery, change your life, get your act together, to have something that has some pieces of that in the familiarity of recovery and recovery language, but to have it be just for enjoyment, I think is so powerful. And I'm really excited to watch this category grow. It's nice to hear you say that. And I personally agree with that entirely. This is deadly serious stuff, literally. But also, I'm a big AA guy and we always say there has to be some fun in it or else people aren't going to want it. And so I think that this is a way to keep a foot in the work, keep the themes and the ideas that you're trying to bring into your mind, trying to bring into your life and take a little bit of a break from the hardcore recovery aspect of it. I think it's worth mentioning that a lot of what I write is definitely not so much for people in their first three or six months of recovery. There are much better things that those people should be reading than fiction. Frankly, their lives are at stake. My work is really much more for people who have a little bit of sobriety under their belts, they're living a sober life and they want to relate to and hear stories about sober characters that are out there. I'm getting ready to publish my second novel now. And what I write about is what's interesting to me. What's going on in my life and in my head, which are next step sober problems. Okay, you got sober, your life got good, then what? Because that's what I'm interested in at this point. And that's what a lot of my characters go through. Yeah. I appreciate you saying that. And it reminds me of when I was new, I'm a 12 step person also. And I remember when I was really new sitting in those rooms and for several months, right? Not understanding a lot of the lingo and like the one liners. And now I love those things, right? Because I've been in it for a hundred years and it all makes sense to me. And it's this beautiful sort of shorthand, like you can pop out this one liner and it has so much profound meaning. Once you get it, it simplifies things. But when I was new sitting in there, I was like, what the hell are these people talking about? I just didn't understand those things. So I appreciate you pointing that out, that there is some depth of knowledge, but I think it can also bring some really great familiarity to the recovery world and some of that terminology and what it means. So I think it could go both ways, but you definitely want to have some basic understanding of a sober life. Yeah. I mean, that's why everybody recommends what they recommend to the newcomer, right? 90 and 90, there's an immersion that should happen in the beginning so that to your point, you start to speak the language and you start to think in those terms. And then from that point on, yes, you don't have to necessarily go to a meeting or two or three a day like I did from my first three to six months in sobriety. Yeah, for sure. So let's talk a little bit about your personal journey. What was it for you? At what point did you recognize that you really had a problem? I mean, I knew I had a problem for a good year or two before the rest of the world was rudely introduced to it. My problem came to light to ring a family vacation. I've actually heard a couple of other people tell versions of this story in the rooms, which was gratifying to me. I had spent the last really year, year and a half of my using and drinking in isolation, and I had gotten very good at hiding away from my family and from friends and doing my thing, doing at that time what I thought of as whatever I had to do to get through the day, surviving in this head of mine. And then we booked a vacation. I went away with not just my direct family, but my extended family for two weeks, and there was no hiding. There was no sitting in my office behind two closed doors, and it was unmanageable. And so I ran around for the first half of it, trying to keep a buzz going, trying to figure out a way to do this. And it just became clear that not just to me, but to everybody else, that this was a real problem and it needed to be addressed. And it was really humiliating to have that happen in such a public way, but probably the best thing that could have happened. What did you do when you really understood, okay, this has to stop, right? We get to that, what I call what everybody refers to as that sort of rock bottom moment. And just to clarify, because there is a misconception about rock bottom, rock bottom doesn't have to be a huge extravagant event. Rock bottom is just the very moment you hit in your head that you're like, oh my gosh, I cannot live like this anymore. Something has to change. So you have that epiphany. What was your next thought and next action to get started in making the change? Well, I had maybe 100 or 150 failed attempts behind me of me saying, that's it, no more. I'm not doing it today. I honestly can't say what the difference was that one time, but that one time I was well and truly freaking done. And I just said to my wife, I have to get help. It's out of control. I can't control it. It's totally out of my hands. Whatever happens, happens. And it was terrifying. So we came home from the vacation and my plan was to get myself into a rehab, go spend 28 days somewhere and let them tell me what to do. But in the meantime, I decided to hit a couple of AA meetings while I got that all sorted out. I have a good close cousin who's in recovery, who's a huge AA proponent. I actually have two cousins, both of whom I adore and whose lives are incredible because of recovery. And they always talk about AA. I guess they talked about it in front of me for a reason. We call that planting seed. I think that's right. So I went to AA. I sat down in a meeting and I heard my first couple of sober stories and I was hooked. I tell people that's what got me sober was the stories that I heard before there was fellowship, before there were steps, before there was service, any of the other key aspects of recovery. Before I even knew what those things were, I heard those stories. I read myself into every one of them, even if the circumstances were totally different from mine. I loved the arc of the qualification, what happened, how it is, how it is now. Just people amazing being incredibly honest. And I really thought, okay, if they can do this, I can do this. They sound just like me. They're literally saying the things that are inside my head. So I must be in the right place. I'm not a stupid person. I can connect those two things. I think I can do this. So I held off on the rehab thing because I thought I could, the great and powerful me, could sort this out on my own. But I did AA immersion, like two or three meetings a day. My work was in the garbage at that point. It turned out to be a blessing in some ways. And so I was doing two or three meetings every day and following guys around and that was how I got sober. Hearing you say all of that just again takes me back to my early days and so much the same experience. And I know a ton of people listening right now are nodding their heads in agreement, where you sit and you hear the other people share. And this isn't a 12 step specific thing. People say the same thing in my online community, and I'm sure they have the same experience in other people's online communities. But you hear people share their stories and you hear your story just with their details. And it's a really powerful experience when you can sit back and go, oh wow, I'm not the only one. Because I think in active addiction, it's so isolating. Even if you're not isolated physically, even if you're going out and drinking with people and you're not isolating in that way, mentally and emotionally, psychologically, it's so isolating because you feel so different from everyone else. I know for sure I felt like I was the biggest piece of garbage on the planet. I was disgusting. I thought my drinking was worse than everybody's, right? Because in my immediate friend group, I was probably the worst, you know? And then I got to the rooms and I hear other people talking and sharing those stories. And I was like, oh wow, okay. I'm not so isolated. I'm not on this one man island all by myself. I do have people that I can connect with and that truly understand. Yeah, totally. And there's a whole room full of them here nodding along the way that I am. For me personally, that's how I learn the best is through stories, which is why I do what I do. It's a passion of mine. But the thing that you pointed to just now that was really powerful for me also was just the self -talk that was going on in my head at that point was so vicious. It was so negative. And I was just brutalizing myself by the time I got in there. Like you said, I was the worst person. Let's be honest, I did some pretty bad things. And so there was some evidence available for that theory. But that's not the whole story. I was also a sick person. And I'd also done some really good things. And so being among people who have felt that way in the past and getting their compassion back in such a direct way was life -saving for me. Yeah. That's so important what you just said too, that it wasn't the whole story. I always say, we are all a thousand piece puzzle and I definitely have some bad pieces. I have some trauma pieces and I have pieces of my personality that can be really unpleasant. I have bad pieces, but that's not all my pieces. We all have good ones and bad ones. And luckily because of recovery, my bad pieces have gotten a little bit smaller and my good pieces have gotten a little bit bigger. But it's important to remember that, that it's not the whole story. And just like as a sober person, I'm sure you'll agree with this too, being sober a long time, my sobriety isn't my whole story either. There's still all these other pieces and facets of my personality that are super important that I have to be mindful of. And I have to nurture all those pieces too. Totally. Yeah. And maybe the most valuable thing that I learned in early sobriety was to discount my thoughts by about 90%. For sure, yes. Whether they were good or bad. On the long list of things that I have no control over, my thoughts is at the top of that list. This brain just cranks out bad data on a regular basis. So the most useful thing that I can do is to understand that. And when I get an idea or a thought or whatever it is, say, okay, that's just a thought. That's not a fact. That is not how the world is. That is not how this person is. That is not how I am. It's just the latest thing that comes out of this head of mine. And I learned to try to lead as much as possible with my heart and not with my head because my heart is much more reliable. My love, my compassion, if I lead with that, I really can't go too wrong. I can't really mess things up too badly. I'd been in the process of messing things up for a long time. So I was in the stop messing things up business at that point. And so that was a very good strategy for me for a long time. It remains a good strategy. Yeah. Remembering too that those thoughts don't put down the drink. Those thoughts in my head, that self -talk and how vicious it was, didn't magically disappear when I stopped chugging tequila on a daily basis. That's the stuff. That's really the recovery part that you have to work on and shift that. And just having that understanding is so powerful too that I couldn't trust what my head was telling me early in the game. I needed outside counsel. I needed another human that was farther along in the process that I could talk those things through. I think, well, this is what my head's telling me. This is what I think I should do to have that person go, oh, no, that's not what you want to do at all. Exactly. Yeah. I totally relate to that. For me, the tone of the voice changed over time. It was equally unreliable, but it was not as negative over time. And that's actually one of the themes in Killing Hurt is that the main character, because he's been sober for a little while and he feels better and his life conditions have improved and he's living a sober life, he becomes much more confident in this voice in his head and he doesn't realize that he's still full of bad ideas. So he has all of these sort of judgments and all of his thinking and he's so sure of them because he's a smart guy and he establishes in the beginning of the book how smart he is and how vital that is to his character, but he's wrong all the time. It's like amazing how often this guy's wrong and that's me. That's how I walk through the life. That's kind of what I like to do with the book is whatever I'm journaling on, whatever I'm 10th stepping in my recovery, it ends up being sort of embedded in one of these characters somehow. Okay. So you just mentioned 10th stepping. So I want you to explain to everybody what that is because a vast piece of my audience is not going to understand what that means. Oh, sure. Yeah. So steps 10, 11 and 12 are in AA, the maintenance steps, meaning these are the steps that you're supposed to do for the rest of your life once you finish your step work. So the 10th step is essentially your inventory. So each night, the way that I do inventory is that I sit down with a notebook every night and I just write what's going on in my head and then I look at what's there and I try to identify where are my character defects at play in this story that's playing out in Will Thatcher's head. I point them out. I'm like, okay, there's some greed, there's some dishonesty, there's some fear, a lot of fear in my inventory.
Fresh update on "trauma" discussed on WTOP 24 Hour News
"To their community and to their team. WTOP Visit .com search player to nominate today. WTOP's player of the week program is sponsored by Main Street Bank Bank where you breathe. Mstreetbank .com This is WTOP News 523. As a new week begins the cost of the auto workers strike is adding up. Production of many mid -sized and larger SUVs has been halted along with mid -sized pickup trucks. Parts depots have also been impacted at Ford executive Kumar Galhotra says not making orders Broncos and Rangers hurts if this continues week after week of course it will have a substantial impact on our business. All total 25 ,000 auto workers are now on the picket lines. Jeff Gilbert CBS News Detroit. Police are asking for your help after the discovery of a woman's body in an area park. Fairfax County police were called to Burke Lake Park campgrounds on Saturday afternoon. Inside what police call a makeshift tent they found the body of 40 -year -old Kara Brescato of Fairfax who had trauma to her upper body. You can see a photo of that tent at wtop com. Police are looking for Ramy El -Sayed who they've named as a person of interest in this case but they want also to talk to anyone who was at the campground and saw that tent between September 19th and 30th. I'm Peter Greenberg and this is today's ION Travel Minute. Many national parks this past summer were crowded or overcrowded but there's a lot to be said for the offseason. The best
Overcoming Trauma With Sunil Bhaskaran: A Journey of Fear, Abuse, And Healing
"Were going to do a discussion on fear, overcoming fear, anxiety. All right. And I guess this is something that you've been working on for a long time. Can you give me a little bit of the background on what took you to the path of learning more about fear and anxiety and overcoming it? Just do share, please. Thank you. Sure, yeah. I mean, I had a tremendous amount of trauma growing up. And I had a good family, but, you know, I had some abuse happen from a distant relative that I had to resolve. And I was trying to, you know, I kept it a secret from the family. And then when I was still young, at the age of 18, I ended up in a situation where I watched some friends of mine being tortured in front of me. And I was tortured myself as well. Is that by family or? No, by, well, I was young and I made a mistake. And I ended up in a military prison in the country I grew up in. I And so was put in a cell with some people who became friends of mine. And we protected each other from some of the abuse that went on. Some of the officials there. And so I, you know, I saw a lot of trauma and I had a lot of trauma done to me as well. And I kept that all a secret because, you know, just the nature of our culture, we don't really disclose stuff. And so when I came to America, one of the things I heard about this, you know, like early 80s was this thing called therapy. What kind of therapy? I'm sorry. Therapy, like psychotherapy. General therapy, psychotherapy. OK. So that was my first therapy session, the first time I told anybody about what I'd been through, apart from the people who were obviously involved. And so that set me on this journey of personal development. And the therapist that I had introduced me to all kinds of other healing modalities. This is California you're talking about. Sure. And so, you know, that was in 1985. So it's been, you know, a little less than 40 years of development. And initially it was all about trying to fix myself. Do you mind sharing, because I'm sure the audience and whoever is listening would be curious, what country did this happen in? And is it just general physical torture? Are we also talking physical as well as sexual torture, that kind of thing? Physical torture. Yeah. OK. Yeah. And I'd rather not. Sorry. Sure. So, you know, so, yeah, I grew up with that and then I was working through it. And then I mean, I really climbed every inch of this ladder. Right. You know, I found a person who basically molested me when I was eight years old. Wow. And reunited him with my family. He still denied ever doing anything, but I unilaterally forgave him. But I worked through a lot of this. I would imagine. I stuck through every single inch. I didn't leave anything uncovered.
A highlight from Top 5 Worst Fictional Medical Professionals W/ Maff
"The question is, do I have a God complex? Dr. Kessler says yes. Which makes me wonder if this lawyer has any idea as to the kind of grades one has to receive in college to be accepted at a top medical school. If you have the vaguest clue as to how talented someone has to be to lead a surgical team, I have an M .D. from Harvard. I am board certified in cardiothoracic medicine and trauma surgery. I have been awarded citations from seven different medical boards in New England. And I am never, ever sick at sea. So I ask you, when someone goes into that chapel and they fall on their knees and they pray to God that their wife doesn't miscarry, or that their daughter doesn't bleed to death, or that their mother doesn't suffer acute neural trauma from post -operative shock, who do you think they're praying to? Now, you go ahead and read your Bible, Dennis. And you go to your church, and with any luck you might win the annual raffle. But if you're looking for God, he was in operating room number two on November 17th, and he doesn't like to be second -guessed. You ask me if I have a God complex? Let me tell you something. I am God. I am from beyond. Listen, and all you desire will be yours. Welcome to Spider -Dan and the Secret Wars. Prepare for prattle. Welcome to Prattle World. I am your host, the ever -amazing, ever -spectacular Spider -Dan. And in this podcast, I spotlight entertainment's best -kept secrets that a mainstream audience may find boring. And welcome to Secret Bore Stories, where I invite guests to count down a personal top -five list in high -fidelity fashion. And this podcast is a special request from the main man himself, Derek Esoterik. The music maestro has requested a very special podcast, and I've got a very special guest returning. The main inspiration for Derek's music, as we know, has been the most popular podcast I've had this year, funnily enough, with the guest that is joining me today. And it is everyone's favorite milkman. It's Maf, and he's back to list a top five. And I've got a top five, too, and many, many, many other people have a top five after asking this question. I'm going to have to read out all these comments, so many. I really appreciate all the comments, don't get me wrong, but there's a lot this week. So maybe next time I might have to start saying, guys, I love all your comments, but I'm not going to use all of them. But Maf, welcome back to another podcast and to Prattle World. How are you doing? Not too bad. Thank you very much for having me back. I remember when you actually mentioned this to me, you said, shall we do Doctors? And I went, Doctor, no. Yeah, you could have one as well if you want. Yeah, it's funny because you start trying to think through stuff, and I wanted to not go down the mainstream of what the comments were. And that's when we start delving a bit deeper. There's some that I've actually marked down that I'm going to have to go back and watch these films for some of the ones that I haven't picked, but I've got some honorable mentions. But there's some evil bastards out there, really. There is. Did you know, Maf, that again, I've not mentioned it, but we are doing, we are listing, if you've not looked at the title, you've not looked at the social media, you won't know that we're covering the top five worst fictional medical professionals. And this has been requested by Derek. He's like, get the doctors, get all the nurses. And there's only one person I want to play doctors and nurses with, Maf, and it's definitely you. We're going to get 10cc stats of a top five terrible, terrible medical people, healthcare professionals. We love the NHS. But, Maf, serious note, did you know that the healthcare or medical profession is where the most serial killers come from directly and also has the highest rate of murder in any given profession? That explains my list a lot, to be fair.
A highlight from IT'S TIME TO CHANGE - Andrew Tate Motivational Speech
"How to become the best versions of yourself, because manhood is exceptionally hard and life is hard. But how you shape yourself will determine how hard it is for you and how miserable it will be. I want everybody here who's watching this, I consider this a matter of social responsibility. I want you to pull up a chair and eliminate all the distractions because I'm going to speak to each and every one of you as if you were my son or a student or someone I'm trying to mentor. I'm going to imagine that all of you know nothing. We're talking from the complete ground. I've said this many times in many different iterations on different podcasts, but I want to repeat it again. As a man, there is no easy life. If you're looking for an easy life, you should have been a girl. You made a mistake. Your life is not about being easy. Your life is not about being happy. Your life is always going to be difficult. All of the pain you feel, all of the sadness you feel, you're supposed to feel as a man and you have two effective binary choices. You either go through the suffering and go through the trauma and go through the hardship it takes to be a man of value or you suffer eternity as a nobody. And being invisible, I would argue, is almost worse. You can have a very stress -free life if you work in Starbucks. You don't care about the Starbucks once you clock off. You're not at work at the time. You go home, you play video games and you exist until you die. That's stress -free, but you have to suffer being a nobody. Alternatively, you can go out there into the world, try and implement your mark on the world, work hard, try to get rich, more money, more problems. You can try and start a business, the stress of that. You can lose your girlfriend because all you're doing is working. This is a new level of stress, a new level of trauma, but at least you'll be a somebody at the end of it. There's two ways to suffer. You either suffer as becoming a somebody or you suffer as a perpetual and forever nobody. What did Napoleon say? He said, glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. Absolutely. Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. And when he says fleeting, that's a really good point because everything in life is rented, especially your glory as a man. When you have a good body, it is not a good body as complete. It's not finished. You haven't completed the task. You have rented that good physical condition. You must train every day to retain it. So everything is rented your body. You don't just get a good body and you're done. You still have to go to the gym every day to maintain that good body. You don't just get a hot girl and it's done. You still have to work hard for her to always love you and respect you. You don't just start a business and now you're rich. No, you have to start a business and work on that business every day. If you take your eye off the business, it will fail. Everything in life is rented. So when he says glory is fleeting, he's also absolutely not the correct because glory is fleeting and you have to constantly and endlessly work for it and make sure that you never stop. Otherwise it will be taken from you. But obscurity is forever. If you never make a mark on the world, then you effectively never existed. And when you're gone, nobody will care. The reason our father is discussed at length is because of who me and Tristan are. And the reason we will be discussed forever is because who our sons will become. And that's very important because you have a duty to your ancestors and you have a duty to God. So you must make a choice. And this is genuine choice to you people at home. Do you want to live in obscurity forever and be invisible and not matter and have an easier life? I would argue that it's not easier because in your heart and in your soul you're going to feel guilty knowing you could have been something you're not and you have a duty to your ancestors and to God to be the best version of yourself. Or do you want to try your absolute best and struggle and suffer every day of your life paying the rent for all of the amazing things around you? We pay endless rent. We pay rent for our bodies. We pay rent for our relationships. We pay rent to keep our kids. We pay rent to keep our business. We pay rent to keep our freedom. Every single day is work to pay the rent. It's absolutely never -ending and you have to make that choice. So if you have a pen and paper in front of you, you need to decide do you want to be invisible with a lower rent bill or do you want to be important and work hard and suffer to make sure that the rent is paid. It's a choice you must make and it's binary and you must be extremely dedicated towards the decision you finally make.
A highlight from Visa Goes Deeper on Stablecoin Settlement
"Welcome back to The Breakdown with me, NLW. It's a daily podcast on macro, Bitcoin, and the big picture power shifts remaking our world. What's going on, guys? It is Wednesday, September 6th, and today we're talking about big news from Visa. Before we get into that, however, if you are enjoying The Breakdown, please go subscribe to it, give it a rating, give it a review, or if you want to dive deeper into the conversation, come join us on the Breakers Discord. You can find a link in the show notes or go to bit .ly slash breakdown pod. So yesterday's episode started with a very brief discussion of a nominally big thing for Solana that didn't push the price at all. What we're going to do today is talk about that thing, which is much bigger than just Solana, and also talk about what it says about the general state of the cycle that we're in. The specific news was that Visa has announced an expansion of their stablecoin settlement to include the Solana network. Visa will now settle some cross -border payments using USDC on Solana. The payments company began experimenting with USDC for treasury operations in 2021. The pilot began with Crypto .com's crypto -linked Visa cards issued in Australia. Visa set up a cross -border settlement channel with Crypto .com, which allowed the exchange to finalize customer purchases using USDC over Ethereum. The expansion of the USDC settlement pilot is being done in collaboration with merchant acquirers WorldPay and Nuvei. This will allow merchant customers to select USDC stablecoin settlement as an option instead of receiving fiat currencies. Now the upgrade to Visa's systems is entirely a back -end improvement, and it's designed to cut settlement times and costs. In a statement, they explained that at the moment, quote, But what they don't see is that the funds used for their purchases need to move between their bank, the issuer, and the merchant's bank, the acquirer. This is where Visa's treasury and settlement systems enable the clearing, settlement, and movement of billions in transactions a day, making sure the correct amount in the preferred currency is received from the issuer and sent to the acquirer, end quote. Now currently cross -border card payments rely on the SWIFT system, which can take several days to finalize. By switching to crypto rails, merchants can receive cleared payments much faster, which is obviously a huge boon when it comes to cash flow management. Visa head of crypto Kai Sheffield said in a Twitter thread, WorldPay and Nuvei enable card acceptance for a diverse set of merchants across the world, including a growing number of merchants interacting with the blockchain and crypto economy who may prefer to use USDC within their corporate treasuries over traditional fiat banking. Visa can now settle these payments to WorldPay and USDC, enabling WorldPay to more flexibly manage their own treasury infrastructure and route the USDC directly to their merchants with less worry about wire cutoff times and bank holidays. It's still early days, but Visa has already settled millions of dollars of USDC over the Ethereum and Solana blockchains between our clients. We are committed to continuing to innovate around how we move money and provide our clients modern options for settlement, end quote. Circle CEO Jeremy Allaire noted that the paradigm shift enabled by using USDC as a settlement currency and not just a payments currency. Also on Twitter, he wrote, One of the things that I am most excited about regarding this new expanded use of USDC by Visa is the fact that USDC is being used as a core settlement layer within the Visa network, a more real -time, global alternative to traversing SWIFT and various ACH rails. More often than not, everyone focuses on the purely retail uses like the Shopify USDC plugin. When in reality, USDC is a generic digital dollar protocol that spans from retail to wholesale across commerce and finance. Our existing mental models for payment systems are dated. An internet -native digital dollar and stablecoin network protocol scales from tiny micropayments in P2P transactions to multi -hundred million dollar capital market transactions, end quote. Now, while Visa has been experimenting with faster USDC settlement on the card issuer side of the business for some time, this pilot extends that functionality over to the merchant settlement side. Now, to bulls, this move seems like a significant step forward in the adoption of crypto networks as a global public and neutral end -to -end value transfer system. Visa currently settles $11 .6 trillion in global payments annually and this settlement use case is precisely what research firm Bernstein envisioned when they made their call in August that stablecoins could become a $2 .8 trillion market over the next five years. So in terms of community reactions, obviously for the Solana bulls, this was a huge deal. Anatoly Yakovenko, the founder at Solana Labs said, I want Solana to be so cheap that it saves Visa money to use it over its own in -house infrastructure. And I want Solana to be so fast that it improves the user experience as well. Lily Lu, president of the Solana Foundation said, We've had a long -standing thesis around payments being only possible on Solana. Fifteen years into the conception of cryptocurrencies and the gradual progression of this use case from forum post to proof of concept to DeFi adoption, Solana meets users where they are today. Click a button, something happens immediately and with infinitesimal cost. This is going to be demonstrated at scale with Visa building on Solana. Now, others focused on the significance from the Visa side of things. Terry Angelos, who formerly worked on crypto at Visa said, Visa is an authorization network and not a payment network. Merchants pay for real -time authorization, security and guaranteed payment. Settlement post -transaction is when Visa moves dollars from issuers to merchants and that can happen on Wires, ACH and now crypto rails. Nick Carter writes, This is a huge deal. Writing on the wall, stables would become de facto interbank settlement solution via card networks. Even my non -crypto fintech friends are fired up about this. This is one of the most important news items of the year. Caitlin Long puts it even more catchily saying, Visa debanks the banks by going around them to settle US dollar payments outside the US banking system and outside traditional USD payment rails. Pilot programs for now, but… Dennis Porter, the CEO of the Satoshi Action Fund wrote, Bitcoin -only people will hate this but it needs to be said. Stablecoins will play an important role in the next wave of financial technology. The dollar isn't going anywhere anytime soon. In fact, stables will strengthen the dollar. Banks will adopt quickly. Now I could and maybe will at some point do an entire show about why Bitcoin and stablecoins aren't at least in the short term competitive. One offers an improvement on the system that exists. The other offers an opt -out of the system as it exists. In other words, they are far from incompatible. Finally, Mert, the CEO at Helios Labs says, The Visa news today isn't just good for Solana, it's awesome news for all of crypto. Slowly the Overton window is shifting and more financial activity is moving on chain. So this must have caused a huge price run up, right? I mean, this is big news. Nick Carter called it one of the biggest pieces of news of the year. Alas, Solana was up just 2%. Crypto trader Gumshoe wrote, In a bull market, Solana would have jumped over 100 % with all the crazy news of the past two weeks lol. The other news that he's referring to was Solana Pay integrating with Shopify two weeks ago. Trader Horse writes, The sole response is a good indication of the current market environment. Imagine what this post would lead to during any other point. Instead, price is listless. This is not a supply issue. We just don't have any buyers. The news should excite long -term investors, however. Teams that are still grinding in the bear get rewarded in the bull. Now I weighed in on this yesterday as well, tweeting, People looking for prices to move up on good news right now are totally missing the part of the cycle we're in. Until new buyers come in, it's sideways or down only. Doesn't mean good news isn't still good. It's just not going to show up in price. Now in the particular case of Solana, there is a general and specific context. The general is what we just talked about and where we are in the cycle. The specific is that Solana is dealing with the overhang of the FTX estate having $1 .1 billion worth of Solana in their coffers right now. That's something like 13 % of the total supply. Reinforcing the contrast between news and energy, even as all this was happening, Solana's daily active addresses fell to around 204 ,000 at the end of August. That's the lowest level for the metric since the block began tracking it in late 2020. Rebecca Stevens, data analyst at The Block Research, put the reasons pretty crisply saying, The Solana ecosystem was already seeing a decline in active users prior to the collapse of FTX, but the fact that the blockchain had such strong ties to the exchange and Alameda Research hurt its reputation a bit. The SEC alleging that Sol is a security also hurt the token's price and has caused it to be delisted in the U .S. on several platforms like eToro and Robinhood. Now overall, the block's monthly exchange volume measurement hit its lowest point so far during this cycle in August. Just $423 billion in volume was moved through centralized exchanges last month, falling below other recent low points in May and December. The lack of trading on exchanges was punctuated by Binance falling below $200 billion in monthly volume for the first time since November 2020. Now this lack of activity extends to Bitcoin as well. Dylan LeClair tweeted, As a percentage of circulating supply, Bitcoin moved in the last 30 days is at an all -time low of 5 .4%. Meanwhile, spot volumes are at levels not seen since 2019. Saying this market is thin currently is an understatement. Reflexivity Research co -founder Will Clemente writes, Crypto aggregated trading volume is the lowest that it's been since 2020. Google's search trends for Bitcoin and crypto at multi -year lows. Realized volatility, implied volatility, weekly Bollinger Bands, all near record lows. This is exactly what apathy looks like. Now Kaleo pointed out that although this is brutal, it's not necessarily out of sync with the cycle. He wrote, Centralized exchange volumes haven't been this low since December 2020. Daily average volume is down from $164 billion at peak to around $13 billion now, a 92 % decline. For reference, the peak in the 2017 bull market was around $28 billion, with an average of $2 .5 billion per day six months prior to the 2020 halving, a 91 % decline. So after all of the centralized exchange trauma we've seen over the past year, we're still in line with a similar trend to what we saw last cycle, despite how rough it may feel. Still, I think it's worth noting comments from Kobe given during the height of the bull market. On the Up Only show, he said quote, You need to have the same level of interest when everything is really boring. The main way you have to make it is to try to perpetuate your interest through the boring bit. The boring bit is where the opportunity is. Now of course, one of the things that people anticipate could bring some new blood in is that fabled Bitcoin spot ETF. So an update on that front as well. After winning a comprehensive victory in court last week, lawyers for Grayscale have written to the SEC to ask them to get moving. According to Grayscale, the court ruling was so comprehensive that the SEC has quote no grounds for treating the Grayscale Bitcoin trust differently to Bitcoin futures ETFs. They wrote quote, Now the letter anticipates a change in tactics from the SEC who may choose to introduce new reasons to prevent Grayscale from converting GBTC into an ETF. The letter stated that quote, Grayscale pressed home the importance of resolving this conversion in a timely manner given the number of rival products clamoring for approval. The letter noted that the SEC may have now exceeded the time allowed to refuse an application, reserving their right to argue in court that the conversion should now be deemed approved. Grayscale argued that quote, Finally, they requested to meet with the SEC as soon as possible to discuss the path forward. James Safart, ETF analyst at Bloomberg said, Now even as the ETF situation works to be resolved, there is clearly some jockeying for positioning as it relates to renewed or new institutional interest in the crypto space. As a for example, Coinbase has launched a new crypto lending service aimed at U .S. institutional clients. The service looks to fill in the gap left by the Genesis and BlockFi bankruptcies. An under -the -radar SEC filing made last week disclosed the program already has $57 million in client funds. According to a person familiar with the service, clients can lend out their crypto assets on an over collateralized basis to Coinbase. The firm can then extend those crypto assets as loans to institutional trading firms. This is essentially the same business as prime brokerage in the traditional finance space. Now, unlike the canceled Coinbase Lend program, retail customers are explicitly excluded from this service. By catering exclusively to accredited and institutional clients, Coinbase is able to offer the service under less onerous regulatory requirements. Honestly, one of the big takeaways is just what a big gap has been left by Genesis in the U .S. institutional environment. However, as you'll hear in an interview coming out later this week or maybe even later today with Hani Rashwan from 21Shares, that institutional interest may be far less gone than it might currently seem. However, that is going to do it for today's episode. I appreciate you listening as always, and until tomorrow, be safe and take care of each other.
A highlight from NO MORE EXCUSES - Andrew Tate Motivational Speech
"I don't care how I feel. Yeah, I don't care if I feel happy or sad It doesn't really affect what I do each day. I do the exact same things. I act the exact same way I it does. I don't care It does I does I don't put weight to the significance of the emotion So I always consider myself a happy person But if I woke up and I was slightly less happy one day than another It wouldn't affect anything I do and I wouldn't put any relevance to it. I'm human and that's life But Truthfully, it doesn't matter if it's getting a girl or it's making money or it's getting status It doesn't matter what it is as a man. We live in hyper competitive environments I don't think enough men understand how competitive the world is if you want a girl you're competing against other men You're not the only man who had the idea of getting that girl. There's no girl you're gonna see and go Oh, I'll get that girl and didn't cross anyone else's mind everybody else wants or you have to out compete other man You have to be as competitive as possible. You have to be as successful as possible in all realms You have to be as good -looking as funny as smart as spontaneous as interesting as charismatic as rich as possible You need to try very hard to be your absolute best and as you become a better man You'll crack through different tiers of attractiveness and eventually you get to the top and you'll be able to have any girl you want But the truth is I have a lot of guys asked me Similar to your question a guy will come to me and go how do I get a girl my bro? You're a loser Yeah, but I know but how do I get a girl? Well, you're a fucking loser. You're a loser. Why are you asking me? It's like saying how do I win a race with a push bike you're racing Ferraris? What do you want me to do? Yeah, there's only so much you can do He's only so hard you can pedal. There's only so many tricks and tips. There's only so many game Things you can say so many pickup lines if you're a loser It's gonna be very very difficult and it's gonna get harder and harder. The game is rigged to become harder and harder for men It's not getting easier It's going the other way and if you're gonna be on a racetrack and there's gonna be Ferraris there and you're gonna be on a Pedal bike or in a Nissan you're gonna get smoked. That's the game. You have to up yourself. You have to improve yourself I'm not gonna lie to anybody here and say you don't have to improve yourself You can stay a loser and get chicks because you can't I Don't understand how many humans function in the world today. I don't get people who don't think like me. I don't understand it I'm like, well then how do how have you survived this long life is hard life is difficult I maybe I've just been unlucky which I don't believe in but I've had so much trauma and bad events and Used all of it to be monumentally successful if I wasn't that way inclined with the workload that God put on my shoulders I'd just be in a ditch somewhere Yeah I don't have killed myself by now But I don't understand how people are functioning if you're not thinking like me and you're going through life with any other mindset You've been extremely fortunate that God smiled on you and allowed you to sit around most of the time to inject shit and you have Yet to be punished for that I I could never have lived that life if I was a bit lazy or a bit You know or I was a bit of a snake or I lied to people I'd be dead by now Like so a lot of these people are just absolutely and utterly blessed by God that they managed to go through life with such a non competitive mindset and they still breathing like I Don't get I don't understand how people can think any other way. I've spoken to dudes and like yeah, you know I had a bad couple months. Why I'm a girl left me you've wasted months You wasted months over some Like you had you had the think of how much God loves you to have given you the the grace and given you the Opportunity to waste months of human time over some chick like talk about blessed head -to -toe if I waste months Empires are gonna collapse. I'm gonna put a cell or dead if I waste months. I have things to do every single day I can't waste a second like these people are just absolutely Infinitely blessed and their mindset is a product of that because they're they're spoiled children Absolutely spoiled children if you're going through life with any other mindset besides a hyper competitive one Or you're capable of competing with some of the most Dangerous men on the planet and all their forms me and my network and also my competitors If you don't have that mindset, then you have to understand that you are spoiled You're spoiled by your reality because there's a whole bunch of people out here daily who fail There are men out here who fail daily and they have yet to feel the true consequence for it They fail to go to the gym when they know they should have gone to the gym They fail because they forgot their keys and they took them ten minutes to find him They fail because they replied to a question. They got sent on whatsapp the wrong way They fail because they didn't smile and they're supposed to they didn't say please and thank you to that person who helped them They fail because they didn't say hi to that girl who's looking at them out the corner of her eye They just fail perpetually they go through life missing every opportunity and just failing failing failing and somehow we've built a society Which is so soft and God is so giving and so graceful that they still have a place to eat and somewhere to sleep and they're still surviving that that shows how nice God is because it before this society truthfully if you were that Level of failure you would be dead It's survival of the fittest and none of these men out here are fit their mindset isn't fit the reality isn't fit They're absolutely they're failures. They're failures and they're just failing every single day I'm gonna go but you know what tomorrow I'll go to the gym. You've been failing your whole Life that's all you've done is fail and then you sit and wonder why people like me absolutely not Lee I'll compete you it is So easy to become a top -tier male in the world today because the competition is so ridiculously low There are 2 % killers like me and everybody else Amateur head -to -toe amateur. They can't even pay attention to anything. They can't try anything. They're amateurs and It's it's it's really mind -blowing to me because I've tried with all of my computational power to Imagine having a mindset different to mine and I just can't see a reality worth having I can't see a reality worth living I can't see how you're gonna build a life worth experiencing if you have any other mindset. I can't see it Yeah, I've never met somebody with a fantastic life who did not completely and utterly believe in themselves I've never seen somebody massively succeed and they didn't believe in themselves ever I've never seen somebody who just allows life to happen to them and become blown off course by some Sadness end up doing massively monumental and important things. I've never seen it. It does and it's never gonna happen If I'm unhappy with something and I'm uncomfortable with something that I fix it Yeah, that's endless motivation, which I don't truly believe in as a concept But that's endless fuel for the fire right if I was unhappy with something about myself Regardless of what it was I would be able to take all of that discomfort and turn it into endless energy to get the problem fixed But these people seem to be unhappy. Yeah Well, these people seem to sit and say I'm really I'm really unhappy with X but then stay doing X So I don't believe they're truly actually unhappy what you'll notice if you live life long enough Is that somebody will sit and say to you? I'm unhappy being a loser. Yeah. Why are you a loser? I just sit at home play video games seven days a week and you're like, okay and Maybe three days of the week. They're unhappy doing that Yeah, that's the time they email you and that's the time they want to make a change but four days of the week They don't really bother them doesn't really bother them because if it bothered them seven days a week guess what they would fix it Correct. So I have very little sympathy for people and That's not because I'm not a nice person But it's because I've been so hard on myself and I've been through so many things That were difficult and I've been through so much pain and trauma myself Some of its self -inflicted some of it given to me by God to make me a better person But I've been I've been so difficult on myself It's very hard for me to look at somebody who's refused to be difficult on themselves and see them as my equal or feel sympathy Or pity for them. Why would I feel pity for somebody who took the easy route when I took the hardest possible route? Yeah, I took the hardest possible way to be the man I am and you were too big of a and now you want me To feel sorry for you. I don't feel sorry for you. I don't feel sorry for these people and Because as a man you can be anything you decide you want to be that's the beauty of being a male You can build your character completely from the ground up just like a video game every single thing about me that people respect I built I was not born a world champion kickboxer. I was not born this intelligent or an intellectual I was not born this rich. I was not born this strong. I was not born this confident I was not born this interesting I was not born as charismatic and humble and gorgeous and tall and strong and sexy although born none of these things I became these things myself so I deserve all the spoils of war and Anybody who decides they don't want to work hard enough to become those things and they deserve to sit and accept their my inferior Yeah, that's dirt. That's their problem So you talk a lot about purpose and What is your thoughts as to do you have like an exact answer as to why we are created as humans and why we're here What is the purpose of life? Why have we been given life? I think we're here to struggle and to learn I don't think we're here to be happy. That's why when we keep going back to the happy argument I've always found that kind of frustrating and annoying and someone goes oh, but I want to be happy. Why? Why Why do you want to sit there and laugh like you were happy your entire childhood. That's your happy days You're allowed to be happy. That's it. It's all over now, right? You're a man your responsibilities I think we're here to do important Yeah Pretired perfect provide protect and we're also here to do important things and important things are gonna be difficult and they're gonna be hard and You're gonna get frustrated, but that's what gives you purpose. I don't see anyone who's chasing happiness I think that's a very feminine frame. I understand why some women just want to be happy I think I don't know that how it feels to be a girl cuz I'm not one but no in my experience I know women who just want to be happy girls. Just want to have fun They're fine, but you're a man right and if you're a man, then it's absolutely not a different experience of life I I think we're here to struggle. I think we're here to endure pain I think we're here to just see how hard we are to kill I think that Going through terrible things and living through them and and coming out the other side is one of the most fantastic things about being human I think that it's almost like once you understand what life is really about There's no emotion which isn't enjoyable The only emotion that the only emotional state which can be seen as detrimental is feeling nothing at all But if you're sitting at home and you're feeling truly heartbroken at least you're feeling something, right? Yes, and and I think that's the whole part of being human. I don't I Think we're here to struggle.
A highlight from IRON MIND - Andrew Tate Motivational Speech
"I a think man has a duty to his last name. I think we carry the last name, we have a duty to our last name. I am a Tate. I am my father's son. The reason my father is discussed so heavily is because of my monumental success. I keep him alive via my success. I would love to think my son does the same thing. They will talk about my son in a way where they're so interested in his life path that I must be discussed by extension and then I live forever. So I have a duty to Tate. I have a duty to my last name. I must perform. And even as a man, today you're waking up, you want to load up a porn website, you should have respect for your last name. You should sit and say, is this who I am? Is this what I do? Well, you have no dignity? Well, I have too much dignity for that shit. And a lot of these men have no dignity, no self -respect. And it's all an extension. It extends to why they're never going to be who they could be and also what they do to cope with that. And yeah, porn is a coping mechanism. If you have a porn addiction or you have a problem with porn, you have a problem with yourself because I guarantee if you're the kind of man you're supposed to be, you would have no time for that and you wouldn't need it. I can confirm that's absolutely not really the case. So the fact you even need porn shows there's a problem with you as a man, because if you were the kind of man you could be, and I genuinely believe that any man can become anything, then you'd have unlimited sexual options and you would have no interest in that. I think that if you are black, white, Asian, I think if you stand up, self -respect, work hard, try your best, turn up on time, firm handshake, don't make excuses for anything, don't look for an easy way out, no matter what your skin color is in America or England or any other Western nation, I think you can be extremely successful. I don't think anything's stopping you. I was raised on welfare in Marsh Farm, which is the worst area of the worst town, Lewton, with the highest crime rate. I went to a school with a 4 % pass rate, single mother household effectively. So I started at the absolute lowest echelon of life and I would like to consider myself pretty somewhere near the top now. I've been through absolutely every stage. So when I say to men, you can become anything you want, and my answer to you is masculine excellence. There's no other answer. I can't tell you how to rig the game and cheat the game. So that's why I preach masculine excellence, because for many of the world's problems today, porn, sexual access, being respected by your peers, making sure that your wife's going to stay with you after the children are born for a very long time, being happy, anything, it all comes down to who you are as a man. The answer, the only answer is masculine excellence. There's nothing you can do besides hard work, accept the trauma and pain and suffering and work harder than everyone else around you worked. And that's why porn's a problem. So I will genuinely say to any man out there who finds himself loading up that website, go take a look in the mirror and realize why no one wants to fuck you. Work out why and do something about it. Absolutely not your self -accountability. This is something that's also missing. I take accountability for everything in my life. Even going to jail, although it was unfair, although it's a matrix attack, although it's garbage, it was my fault. I sat there and go, what did I do wrong? How can I learn from this? Where is my part to play in this? What did I do? Because my actions are what I have the most control over. I have self -accountability for everything. If a woman doesn't want to sleep with me, I don't sit and say, women are this way, society's that way. I just sit and say, OK, why? What can I change? So any man who's loading up porn needs to go have a long conversation in the mirror and realize that he's not desirable or as desirable as he should be or could be.
A highlight from S13 E01: Horror Genre Journey: Writer, Lecturer, Producer, Novella
"Hello, welcome to The Elone Show. I'm your host, John Mayelone. In this episode, don't have any regulars, because reasons, as always. As for our guest, she is from Auburn, New York. She's a writer, lecturer, and producer in the horror genre. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Mo Mashery. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah, happy to be here. Yeah. So, how's life? It's good. I'm actually about 20, 22 days post -recovery from having emergency appendectomy surgery. Oh, I love that. Yeah, so exciting. Exciting times, never a dull moment. Oh yes, indeed. Have you been up too much recently? No, just kind of still writing. Just came back fresh from StokerCon, which is basically the Oscars for horror writers. And that was my first one. So it's pre -publication date. The publication date for my book is July 5th. So we're gearing up to just promote that. And then I'll have two books coming out in 2024. So it was really about just making connections and meeting people, meeting my horror book heroes. So it was a lot of fun. Oh, very good. How long have you been an author for? Published author for the last three years. I've been writing short stories for myself and circulars and for speaking engagements for about 10 years. So it's nice to be on the other side of other people enjoying my work as opposed to just myself and a group of like 30 people. So that's been pretty good. Nice. Very good. So what brought you to become a lecturer at some point? So I am a behavioral science major, so I am a cognitive behavioral therapist. So I mostly work with PTSD in women. So when I can marry mental health and the horror genre, it's a real, real pleasure for me. So mostly what I lecture on is the trauma featured in horror cinema, mostly women's trauma in horror cinema. So I've been very, very lucky to do that with Prairie View, Texas, and I'm here in the States. I've been able to do that with University of Sheffield in the UK. And for Final Girls Film Fest in Berlin. So I've been kind of all over the map with with sharing that. And that's been it's one of my absolute favorite things to do because I love to talk horror cinema. I love to talk how horror actually can help heal us and our anxieties through the world and actually help our mental and emotional health. And really just to kind of be archival with it. I love horror from a very young age and from from very, very early on, from 40s, 50s horror to now. Any time I can talk about that as well is always a good time. So I always choose lecturing on that aspect.
A highlight from How To Live Your Life Fully with James Heppner
"Welcome to A Magical Life, Health, Wealth and Weight Loss. I'm your host Magic Barclay, Lead Practitioner at Holistic Natural Health Australia and number one best selling author. In this podcast I aim to give you practical tips on how to accelerate and sustain your health, increase your financial, spiritual and emotional wealth and to look at something that haunts many of us needlessly, weight loss. In some episodes I'll have guests available to give you even more tips, but in others the floor is yours. Drop us a line at A Magical Life podcast on Facebook and let me know what you would like to know more about. Now sit back and enjoy because it is time for you to create and truly discover a magical life. Welcome back to A Magical Life, I'm your host Magic Barclay. Today James Hepner joins us. James likes to think of himself as an artist of experience. His passion is to create transformational experiences for himself and others as a way to explore what it means to truly live fully alive. James is a results coach and founder of Weekly Wins and Losses podcast and Weekly Global Community Call. He helps people in their journey to embrace all of life, both the wins and the losses equally. James helps you firmly establish the mental and physical courage needed to do difficult things while guiding you to activate your ability to leverage the good news that lies at the heart of both a win and a loss. People from around the world find James when their way of handling losses just no longer works and when leaving 50 % of life on the table is no longer an option. James' current client list ranges from well -known professionals and executives to average ordinary humans. Both of which are deeply hungry and curious towards the worthy work of breaking into and establishing a brand new dimension of life. Wow, welcome James. Thank you for having me on. It was an honor to be invited onto your show. And by the way, your name, Magic, that's spectacular. So let's see what we can create together. Thank you. Now look, James, I always ask my guests the same three questions and everyone gives me such a different answer. It's kind of amazing how diverse people are. So here's your first one. What can your expertise do to accelerate health? Now, not just physical health, but also emotional and spiritual health. What can my expertise do? That's fascinating. Some people, they ask me, James, are you an expert at anything? And to be completely honest, in another part of my life journey, not at present, but over a decade ago, I would have said, well, I'm an expert here, there and a few places. So I have learned in life, humbleness is probably ultimate state of leadership. But if you ask that question, I would say that one of the things specifically when I think about mental and physical health, gosh, we live inside of our life. We don't live inside of another person's life. And so inner acceptance, and I think so often, acceptance is just a word and it's a catchphrase, but I think beneath acceptance lies tolerance. And so if we cannot build the inner musculature to tolerate in a joyful way, what we observe, I think there's a problem. And so to accept is to tolerate and to enjoy tolerating and to unfold in real ways and to observe what that looks like. And then to say, wow, that was in there. And so I think to get playful with the presence that we actually all are, instead of being so harsh, and of course, harshness leads to shaming and blaming, which never tends to work. So yeah, my work tends to have a bend towards a whole bunch of inner work. And inner work, of course, is the thing and is the power that creates anything from the external, especially if it's going to be sustainable, it's got to come from within. So thanks. That was a great question. Talk about wealth here. Now people think that's just the financial wealth, but we miss the personal and emotional wealth, the personal growth, I guess. So what are your top three tips to creating wealth? Very simply, I would say when you align with the foundation of life, life supports more of life. At Current, I'm looking at your logo. It's a hand, and then there's some sprouts coming from it. Life supporting life. And so you must be about regeneration. You must participate with the ecosystem of regeneration. So that's number one. And so that's like you say, wealth, physical, mental, financial, whatever it ends up being. The next piece that I would say is very important. And that is we must have a leaning towards that life owes us nothing. When life owes us nothing, we end up realizing we are wealthy because wealth is abundant. It's everywhere. It's not a bank account. Wealth, often people will look at it as a sometime down the road experience. However, arrival happens at birth. And the next one, when I think wealth, wealth is a state of mind. So there's a lot of state of mind here, but the concept is, and I repeat these things to myself every day. I've created these things and that is nothing traps me, everything frees me. So wealth is a decision. And when something happens in your life, you get to participate with it and that is to utilize it, or you get to be able to trying to eliminate. And of course, when we try to eliminate things in life that are present, it seems not to work very well. If we try to flee our presence, it just seems not to bode well for us or anybody else around us. I just want to sit with that comment for a minute about decisions. I think people in general, I think we kind of shied away from making decisions and really taking ownership and leadership of the direction of our lives. Why do you think that is? Gosh, that's a great question. I think, just in my opinion, I think humanity, we all understand that without decision, nothing happens. The only thing is there's a wide divide between decisive decision and decision. Decision is just simply saying, well, I'm going to decide to do something about this. But a decisive one is one that brings a decision into action. And a decisive decision is a non -negotiable decision. A decision that isn't decisive lacks that absoluteness. And absoluteness, not to say we're going to plow things down and plow people or self or traumas over, because we have to be gracious. We have to lean in. We've got to be sensible about things. But I think ultimately, I think we as humans, and I don't think that we mean to sidestep reality or fast track too quickly. I think most of us value that if we get to be a part of something and participate with it, we all know that that brings meaning and value. But I think there's an anxious striving in society and it's kind of, I at least have observed, it seems like there's an undertow and the anxious striving supports people away from being present. And so they want things quicker than maybe what is there. They fear that they're not progressing fast enough. And so I think a lot of it has to do with just fearing that we're not, again, we're not progressing fast enough. And I got a little tale, like one of the people that come to mind, and I study many people, but the one group of people that I think are pretty interesting, the Jewish people. The Jewish people, when it comes to Sabbath, Sabbath is an act of rejection for them. It's not an act of restriction. And so I think oftentimes, I think we've mellowed down the importance and the power of decision. Because a lot of, I think North Americans variety of decisions comes through the lens of, well, I probably should decide on this. And so I should restrict myself away from certain things. And so, for example, when it comes to Sabbath, I don't have a leaning towards whether to work on a Sabbath is good or not. I just think, for example, Western society, if we think of secular Christianity in North America, what does that look like? They have a Sabbath too, but if it's restriction, what does the human want to do? The human wants to not do that. So if you say, I can't do something, the human typically says, well, now I want to do it. But the Jewish people, when they were in slavery and they finally were freed from that, they made a pact that for them, not working on the Sabbath, so whatever that looks like, like a six in one rhythm, you just unplug for a bit. When you do that, that is our decision, our decisive decision to wrap around the idea that we don't need to consume or create more so we can consume more. So I think, I mean, I'm going in a few different directions, but I think a lot of it has to do with fearing that we're not getting far enough. And then fearing we're not getting far enough, it's hard to bake into production and we fear we're not producing enough, so we can't consume enough. So I think it's a bit of a gluttonous concept, honestly. Interesting answer. James, we talk here about weight loss as well. This is our final standard question before we get into being fully alive. And I guess it kind of leads into being fully alive because many of us live our lives fearing weight or trying to change weight. So have you ever battled with your weight? If so, what was the trigger to losing it? And what can you offer the listeners who may be on this journey? And it's just stopping people being fully alive.
A highlight from HAVE A PLAN - Andrew Tate Motivational Speech
"Don't understand how many humans function in the world today. I don't get people who don't think like me I don't understand it. I'm like, well then how do how have you survived this long life is hard life is difficult I maybe I've just been unlucky which I don't believe in but I've had so much trauma and bad events and Negativity and stress and all these things have happened to me and I've used all of it to be monumentally successful People are functioning if you're not thinking like me and you're going through life with any other mindset You've been extremely fortunate that God smiled on you and allowed you to sit around most of the time doing jack shit and you have Yet to be punished for that I I could never have lived that life if I was a bit lazy or a bit You know or I was a bit of a snake or if I lied to people I'd be dead by now like so a lot of these people are just absolutely and utterly blessed by God that they managed to go through life with such a non -competitive mindset and they still breathing like I Don't get I don't understand how people can think any other way There's nothing that God hates more than sloth and laziness if God were to create a man and that man were to sit around and Do fuck all God will frown upon you. It's why you're never lucky if you're listening to this and you think I'm never lucky I'll tell you why cuz God dislikes you because you're fucking lazy Start to work start to show God the beauty of his own creations. You'd be amazed how lucky you'll become God is unhappy with these people and inside their hearts. They're unhappy We talk about depression anxiety all those things you mentioned earlier on this podcast you load their own weakness. You load their own laziness This is what all of these things are. I don't feel depression How can I feel depression when I'm the most powerful version of me that I could ever fucking be? Most men are walking through life and they don't realize that it's constant competition every single pound They want someone else wants every single girl They want someone else wants and they're just sitting there just fucking floundering and wandering through life Unaware of how competitive the world is and this is my point if the world is truly that competitive You do not have time to be depressed because it's a non -competitive mind state you could be depressed for XYZ whatever I'm not depressed and I want the money you want and I want the girl you want I want the status you want and the car you want in the house you want and I'm gonna get it and you're fucking not I don't give a shit what happens to me in my life. I don't care how bad it is I don't care if the worst most heinous things I could possibly imagine happen to me I know that my sadness my depression will be temporary because I will never stay a loser It's against my Creed's not my DNA. All of your minds are broken. You can't even focus on anything anymore You are caught Distracted to the point where you can't even appreciate the good things in your life. You're distracted. Your minds are broken You need to rewire your mind and resist the slave Programming if you cannot control your own mind, then you are just a feather in the wind of life Because your own mind is the only thing you can control you can't control the weather. You can't control other people You can't even control whether your heart stops beating you might have a heart attack tomorrow You can't control anything besides what you think if you cannot control your own mind then you go through life with zero control Zero influence you can't control anything You're just a feather in the wind waiting for life to blow you from happy place to sad place to happy place to sad place Completely hoping on the gods to be fortunate to you because if any genuine discomfort comes your way you're fucked It's so easy to win if you can control your own mind But it seems that nobody fucking can your own father's ashamed of you and you don't even feel fucking motivated to do shit It's a fucking shame You're to go and look your father in the eye and said, you know what? I could have been a fucking I could have been a UFC champion. I could have been a Multi -millionaire could have been a race car driver could have been a fucking nuclear physicist Could've done all these things but I was busy on porn. Hope it gives me proud of you. Fuck. No people who go Yes, I'm wasting my potential. Those are the ones who have potential the ones who stand up and go I am wasting my potential I could be anything and I am NOT that yet. They have a chance This is your prerogative as a man, but you need to be instilled with a sense of duty duty to your bloodline You must want it. You need to want it deep inside your soul I can't die as anything less than Emperor as a man If you don't make yourself valuable, you have no value you have to get up and do it Just like a video game you start with fucking zero you have to decide if you want to complete it You have to upgrade your character So I find it amazing that men are gonna play video games and fuck about and waste their time instead of upgrading their character Everyone knows what to do. You know what you have to do If you hadn't become the most dangerous intelligent respectable man on the planet, you know, you're supposed to go to the gym You know, you're supposed to train learn how to fight. You know, you know all these things you don't do them That's your just that's your decision. It's your prerogative. I didn't I didn't make that choice. I made the choice to do it All I decided all that every single man watching this to do the exact same thing Which is why I have very little pity when I want when I do these streams and people think I'm arrogant or I'm rude to People but if you if you've made a fucking decision To be less than you should be Then I believe you should be mocked for that and me as a man when I put myself through hell And I have had such exacting such stringent standards for myself Why would I then have less exacting stringent standards on the people I meet? Why would I put myself through hell? Me and then meet someone who didn't put themselves through hell and then treat them like my equal no, fuck you I suffered when you didn't so you're not my equal because you decided not to suffer You have enjoyed comfort when I haven't and that's fine But don't expect me to look at you as my equal because you're not because I put myself through hell I put myself through hell because I decided to throw comfort away for ten years of my life I was never comfortable My basic premise is that I refuse to believe in things that take power away from the idea I believe that if you feel depressed something is depressing you and you should try your best to fix it You should take control of your life and do your best to fix it Let's say your girl leaves you you start to feel depressed, but you believe in the idea of depression You're now going to start diagnosing yourself as clinically depressed self -hypnotizing yourself into being clinically depressed and it's amazing how you can speak things into existence I cannot become depressed because I don't believe in it Let's pretend I'm completely wrong right the best option the best thing to do is still to get up Be an adult control your emotions be stoic and do the things you're supposed to do day after day Laying in bed and doing nothing is never gonna be the best option The best option is still to go to the gym to work hard to run your business to be successful So it doesn't matter we're talking about the different positions on the chessboard But if the rules of the game remain the same regardless of the position you're still trying to win You still have to do the same things So does it even matter at this point if you come along and say he's depressed because of X and he's depressed because of Y He's depressed because of Z and the answer to all of them is still the same thing that I don't give a fuck why you're depressed Yeah What I'm saying is you're playing a game and it's a competitive game and you need to build a mindset that allows you to be Ultra competitive if you want to sit there and say no, I want a non -competitive mindset then fine You know what you call people who do not win competitions Correct. This is just a bottom line of life and and it's kind of interesting because everyone pretends they give a fuck but nobody does Especially women women truly don't give a fuck If you ask a woman the kind of man she wants she will never say depressed or sad ever She wants a man who is ultra capable ultra competent They want someone who is fun and spontaneous and charismatic and success. They don't have time for sad dudes They don't care. So the world doesn't care. The world has never given a shit about sad men So if you're gonna sit there and self diagnose yourself as a sad man You're gonna have a shit life and nobody's ever gonna give a fuck and you're gonna perpetually lose forever and that's your decision I am so scared of being that person The idea of that terrifies me to the point where I don't even want to accept that as a reality that can possibly exist I don't give a shit what happens to me in my life. I don't care how bad it is I don't care of the worst most heinous things.
A highlight from The Growing Culture War with Konstantin Kisin
"Yes, freedom has trade -offs. Freedom will mean you're less safe, and freedom will mean that some people say things you don't like. I'm okay with that, because I don't want to live in totalitarian China, and I don't want to live in Soviet Russia. If you do, that's fine. Go there and live there. Hello there. How are you all? I am on my final day of my holiday in Ibiza. It's been nice to have a break. It's been very sunny, but it's been eventful. I've lost my passport and it's stolen from my car, which has been an absolute nightmare. I've had to go to the consulate to get a temporary one. Now I've got to head up to Peterborough tomorrow to get an emergency passport ready for me to head out to Australia in a week. Speaking of which, are you coming? Are you in Australia? We've got our event on September the 9th. We've got Nick Bartier, Willy Woo, Checkmate, Russell Russell, and Dan Roberts all on stage. If you want to get a ticket to come to that, please head over to WhatBitcoinDid .com and click on WBD Live. Anyway, welcome to the WhatBitcoinDid podcast, which is brought to you by the legends of Iris Energy, the largest NASDAQ listed Bitcoin miner using 100 % renewable energy. I'm your host, Peter McCormack, and today I've got a show I've been trying to make for a long time. Konstantin Kissin is a British Russian satirist and one of the best commentators we have over here in England. You may have seen him online. He did a very, very cool speech. I think it was at the Oxford Union. I may have that wrong, but definitely worth checking out. Now, Konstantin likes to challenge narratives and talks a lot about wokeism, climate change, politics, and any kind of societal issue, really, and I've wanted to talk to him. Although this isn't strictly a Bitcoin show, it does cover a number of the topics which I feel are kind of siddle alongside the things that Bitcoins worry or think about. So, yeah, we had this chance to sit down for an hour and shoot the shit, and we got into all kinds of things this interview, and honestly, I feel like we only just scratched the surface, so I will definitely try and sit down with Konstantin again in the future. Now, if you've got any questions about this or anything else, please do drop me an email. It's hello at whatbitcoindid .com. Good to see you, Konstantin. Good to be with you. Yeah, thanks for letting us use your studio for this. Oh, it's a pleasure, man. Thanks for coming over. No, beautiful drive. I've been really keen to talk to you for a while, firstly because I mainly talk to Americans. But I'm Russian, so it's a bit different. You've gone to the other end. Yeah, I know you're Russian, but you're basically in the UK. You understand? Yeah, I'm British as well, yeah. But I'm going to praise you a little bit here. You've become kind of one of my favorite commentators in the UK, because I think, one, you recognize the issues. Two, you're not a crazy right wing. Three, I don't feel like you are trying to stoke a culture war to grift people, and I think your observations are excellent. I thought you were great on Rogan. I really enjoyed your interview there at Weinstein recently. And so I've just been keen to talk to you for a while. If we don't bring up Bitcoin, that doesn't matter. OK, well, that's a relief, because I know very little about Bitcoin. I always tell the story whenever people ask me about Bitcoin that I bought, you know, everyone's banging on about Bitcoin. This would have been probably 15 years ago or something. And I was like, you know what, let's put some money into it, see what happens. So I think I bought about $400 worth of Bitcoin. And when the value doubled, you know, with any investment, if like the value doubles on something as volatile as a cryptocurrency, you're going, well, you know, I've done well here. So I sold it 400. I had half a Bitcoin, half a Bitcoin for $400, and I sold it for $800. Well, so the point of that story is I know fuck all about Bitcoin. Well, I sold a lot of Bitcoin for a lot less than that at different times. Yeah, it's everyone's got a Bitcoin storyline. Yeah, we might get into it. But you know, it's interesting you mentioned that I'm not crazy right wing. I actually don't think of myself as right wing at all. And I'll tell you why. Because all of the things that people might now say make you right wing. I don't know how old you are. I suspect we're probably similar age. I think a bit older. I'm 44. I'm 40. So when I was growing up, and in fact, when I was a young man and a young adult, you know, thinking that there's a difference between men and words, or that countries, of course, should welcome immigrants like me, but we should have borders that are enforced. Right? These were all things that Barack Obama and I agreed on, you know what I mean? And so unless Barack Obama has become right wing, I don't really think of myself right wing as right wing. And of course, the issue that I principally started talking about when I used to be a stand up comedian was freedom of expression. And I always thought of that as an extremely liberal value that is what we protect in the West. And that's kind of one of the things that makes the West unique and special. So I don't think of myself as right wing because none of my views are right wing. It's just what's happened is a bunch of crazy people have taken the left off the deep end. Whereas I've stayed exactly where I've been. Do you know what I mean? So I'm very relieved because to hear you say you don't think of me that way, because quite a lot of people would like to think of me as on that side of the political spectrum. And many of them are on that side. Conservatives want, they keep thinking that I am one of them. And look, I've got wonderful conservative friends, but I always kind of have to put that disclaimer in because I really believe in creative destruction quite a lot. Conservatives often want to keep things exactly as they are. I think creative destruction is important. Coming from a comedy background, I think having a sense of humor is important and conservatives can do, but not always. So I'm relieved about that because that's a big frustration of mine, the way that the political climate's changed, where like having some very normal common sense opinions has become controversial. So in many ways, it's not that I'm grifting, it's that the world around me has put me in a position where it's like saying some really obvious and normal things makes you controversial. Well, if that's the situation we're in, fine, I'll say those controversial things. Yeah, but I also think you're framing things in a rational and reasonable way. And I don't think you're trying to inflame situations where some people are discussing the same issues that you're discussing. I think they are trying to inflame the issues and they're being provocative. And I don't think you are being provocative. And I think that's why I've enjoyed following you and regularly just having to look through your feed on Twitter, see what you're, I mean, I look today, I forgot the comedian, the Scottish comedian's name, but in relation to Rosanna? Yeah, Graham Linham, he's Irish, but he's one of the best comedy writers we've had. He wrote The IT Crowd, Father Ted, all sorts of things. And yeah, the show that he was part of has been canceled in Edinburgh, that's what we've been. But you wrote a long and very kind and well -structured response to her. And that's what I think has been missing in the discourse is that I don't think anyone who's done that has actually managed to break through. All that's managed to break through is people who maybe are inflammatory, who are overly provocative, who are trying to stoke a culture war. And you may say it exists, but it's, you go to America law, I go to America law. It's certainly not like it is in America. I would hate that to come here. Well, I think it has come here, unfortunately. I think that we are in a place, I always say this when I'm in America, whatever you guys flush down the toilet in the UK, we get served for breakfast the next day. And I do feel that that's happened. I mean, obviously you mentioned Graham Linham is controversial because of his views about transgender ideology and various things to do with that. And we've had that issue. Now I actually think on that particular issue, we're doing much better now because the Tavistock clinic where a lot of these surgeries were happening has been shut down as a result of various investigations into it. We have an interview with Hannah Barnes coming out, who's a Newsnight journalist who wrote a book about what was happening there. Um, so in, in many ways, I don't think we can avoid the reality that we now live in a kind of almost shared media space with the U S and we inevitably get caught up in many of the conversations. I don't know if you've noticed, but abortion, for example, I think when you and I would have been growing up here, it wasn't really an issue that anyone debated or talked about. It was kind of a settled issue. Um, it's increasingly not. And I think that's partly because we're downloading a lot of our sort of memes from America. Yeah. I don't think people fully understood though that we, we have pretty established abortion laws here in the UK. And so I'm, I've not seen that becoming a, an issue of debate. Am I missing something? Yeah, it will definitely, you will see that coming through increasingly. Yeah, for sure. Interesting. Well, um, well let's like say, I mean, it is great to talk to you. Um, I know you focus a lot on the issues of woke ism, um, and the kind of pervasive effect it has been having on society. Um, but my hope is here in the UK, we can be a bit more civilized, rational, reasonable about dealing with these issues because my, my thoughts on when I see everything in America is everything seems to be a binary argument and that nuance middle ground where issues are discussed tend to be missed. And I think I found that that's where even if you hold a firm position, you are also diving into the nuance a bit and having a rational argument. Yeah. Well, look, I believe in persuading people. I think that's how you change the culture. Um, you, you have to meet people where they are and persuade them. And one of the great things about trigonometry over the last five and a half years, we've had people on the show who've persuaded us and have changed our minds about issues. So I know from personal experience that people when exposed to rational argument that's made without cruelty or without malice, uh, many people, if they give it the time to actually think it through will change their perspective if they're presented with a coherent argument. Um, you know, and so I've always tried to combine that with a bit of humor and a bit of levity, um, and some facts, you know, which I think is important. And that to me is the way that if there is such a thing as a culture war, which in my opinion we are in, uh, then the way that gets one is by persuading most people who've got, you know, people have got families and jobs and sick parents and kids that need to be taken to football or whatever. Most people don't have time to delve deeply into obscure some issue that affects, you know, 1 % of the public. However, I think there are some issues on which it becomes important to win the debate, to win, to win the argument. And in my opinion, the way to do that is by coming across as reasonable and rational. But look, I understand as well, you know, on some of the stuff that we talk about, you know, for me, for example, uh, my family, uh, fled the Soviet Union because they were punished for speaking their mind. I have a bit of a sensitivity when it comes to seeing people shut down for expressing opinions that some people don't like. To me that I, do you see what I mean? That's like a bit of a trauma spot almost for me. Well, I'm in a five year lawsuit for a number of tweets. Oh yeah. Yeah. So, uh, you know, I, I, that's my biggest envy of America is their first amendment protection. I'm the same. So when I see stuff like that, it sends me up the wall. And so I do understand people who are outraged about things. My feeling though, is that that is an unproductive way of being for you as an individual, first and foremost, it doesn't make you feel good. It doesn't make you a constructive person in the world. It doesn't make you a good parent or a good husband or a good anything. And so more than anything, my journey personally has been to kind of, uh, be more, more relaxed and more understanding of different perspectives and whatever. And then I think you're much more able to persuade people who don't already agree with you. So for example, after my, uh, speech at the Oxford union, which did very well, I had, you know, Hollywood love is reaching out to me going, you know what? I really liked what you said about this people that you, you know, no one listening or watching to this, uh, listen to this or watching this would have thought would have anything to do with me or what I'm saying. Um, and that to me is really gratifying because look, sometimes you have to rile up your base and there are people who will do that very well. For me, I think we have to win the argument. We have to remind people how valuable it is that we have what we have in the West and that in our desire to perfect our society, we don't throw the baby away with the bathwater. So when you mentioned early, you've had some people on who've changed your mind on things like what stands out for you? So we had a very controversial, um, women's rights campaigner called Posey Parker, uh, early on in the history of show, this is 2018. Uh, I know it feels like we're banging on about trans all episodes, but since you asked me, I'm just telling you one of the most, it's also one, it's probably the most of one of the most watched into, I think it is the most watched interview on our channel as well, because what you see is Francis and I, my cohost, two comedians wading into an issue, which at the time nobody was really talking about. And we are coming at it with a set of, you know, ideas about being compassionate and not offending people and whatever. And you see this woman come on and be very clear and basically win the argument against us on our own show and change our minds. And what was her argument? What was the competing argument? Well, I think people should go and watch the interview. Uh, but her argument, the title of the episode is trans women aren't women. Okay. Which for us two comedians at the time operating on an extremely progressive comedy circuit was like, I remember we were like strategizing is like, what happens? I mean, I'm guessing that we were thinking, well, you know, this video will probably get taken down. Our channel might get taken down. What are we going to do? And we were thinking about that ahead of time. Cause we knew it was controversial, but we also felt a duty to the truth. And the truth was that she made sense. And most of the arguments that we put forward to her as devil's advocate or counterarguments didn't stack up to the reality of what she was saying. Right. Uh, and I think that is it. And that is probably why it's one of our most, most watched of episodes because you're seeing good faith engagement between people trying to get to the truth in which they actually get closer to the truth, you know, and you don't see a lot of that happening because in most of our public discourse, public conversations, it's like, you've got two people with rigid positions coming together to have a bitch fight. And it wasn't that at all. And, and, you know, for that reason, I think it was very transformative, but then, you know, you, you talked to all sorts of people, um, uh, many of our guests have really opened our eyes to different things. So, uh, that's really one example that I would give. Yeah. And it's interesting because you say there, you were worried about, uh, on the comedy circuit, the, uh, reactions to people you're worried about your channel. And so there's almost that, that, that fear that puts you in a position to, we need to self -censor. Yes. Which itself is a horrible form of censorship, uh, censorship. I self -censor, uh, self -censor all the time on Twitter. I always think I, you know, I think I'll probably just discuss that in private with my friends. There's certain discussions, debates that you want to have that you just aren't willing to have in public because it's not that I don't believe my points of view. It's almost like I don't, I haven't fully formed them. You have to almost debate them to get to the point where you formed them, but if you can't debate them in public, you have to debate them privately. And this is why I think free speech is so important. And I think it's, it's such a, it's so sad that we don't have it here because we're not allowing people to, to find that truth. That is such a profound point. And I'm really glad you made it. I actually have a whole chapter in my, in my book about language. And this is one of the things that people are not willing to recognize quite often, particularly the people who are more on the side of preventing certain conversations from being had, which is you have to speak to think, and therefore not everything you're going to say is going to come out as a fully formed, perfectly phrased, exactly carefully calibrated thing, particularly in text where you miss most of the communication that's happening between human beings, which is visual and your tone of voice and the way your face looks when you say it and all of that. And it's condensed into a very short message for which for any nuanced issue is not enough characters. Um, but I agree with you, man. We have to be able to have conversations, particularly about contentious issues because they're contentious for a reason, which is that people do not agree, right? And so how do you get to a position where everyone's views are properly formed and taken into account when it comes to making government policy or public opinion about things and whatever. The only way that happens really is if you have honest discussion and conversation. Now, social media is not the best platform for it necessarily in the sense that it's conducted in public and that creates a set of perverse incentives for people to look good at the expense of others. Uh, but I, I think we're in the early stages of social media. We as human beings haven't really, it's kind of like cars, but without seat belts yet, you know, uh, I think over time we will hopefully work out ways of communicating online that are more conducive to healthy conversation. And part of that comes from, uh, you know, all of us working out, well, what is it that I really want to say? You know, mentioned it was kind of you to say that reply I had to Rosanna this morning. I have to be honest and say that three years ago, I would have phrased that very differently. I would have just been like, look, how do I make her look stupid? Blah, blah, blah. Cause that's how, that's how you get attention online. And then it's the perverse incentives that it creates. But I think as you will know, as your audience grows and your platform grows, you do feel a sense of, you know, it's important to say the truth, but it's also important to be responsible with what you're saying, which makes it easier for people to hear. Well, I sometimes feel like that, um, making someone look stupid on online, it's a bit like smoking. Yeah. It might feel good instantly, but after you feel that kind of dirtiness afterwards and you know, I'm a hypocrite. I do it sometimes. Yeah. Other times I, you know, try and do a, uh, uh, you know, more like you try and have a constructive discussion with somebody, but just back to that point of fully forming your arguments is it makes me think to my children, right? I mean, mine have been older than yours. I've got a 19 year old and 13 year old, but I still consider the 19 year old a child. And even though he's an adult legally, you know, we don't cancel our children from a very young age. I mean, the first time your child swears is hilarious. And then you teach them not to swear and, you know, they start to form ideas about the world and you help shape them. If you think they're going in the wrong direction, I don't think that should stop when we become an adult. I think that should carry through the entirety of your life is trying to figure these things out. And I think one of my biggest problems we have in the UK is we don't have enough high quality public debate. This can happen. It can happen on your show, but it's still kind of in the shadows. I, you know, I could watch something like question time on newsnight and I still feel like people are holding back. Yeah. Well, they are holding back as someone who's done those shows. I can tell you. Well, look, I also think, you know, um, I'm increasingly moving away from the perspective on this that I had probably for the first three to four years of us doing trigonometry, which was about, look, all the mainstream institutions are corrupt and captured by this worldview, whether you want to call it radical progressivism or whatever. And I'm not saying that as someone as an outsider, I used to go into the BBC and still do. I used to do, and this was before I had any profile, which made it easier. So, you know, I've got dark skin, first -generation immigrant, foreign name, blah, blah, blah. And they would automatically assume that I was one of them. I thought like them, you know, diversity, inclusion, and equity. Right. And when they speak openly behind the scenes about how they see the world, you're going, this institution is completely captured, right? It is riddled with a particular mindset.
A highlight from Sorcerer (1977) W/ @IAmJACSMusings
"In 1971, William Friedkin directed The French Connection. It received five Academy Awards, including Best Picture of the Year. In 1974, he directed The Exorcist. It made history. Since then, Friedkin has spent over two years in five countries on three continents, creating his latest film, An Unusual Adventure into the Realm of Suspense. Four men, condemned by their past, robbed of their future, trapped in a life that was also a death. Four men take an incredible chance, face an impossible challenge, and risk the only thing they have left to lose. Roy Scheider, in a new film by William Friedkin. Sorcerer, Rated PG, Parental Guidance Suggested. I am from beyond. Listen, and all you desire will be yours. Welcome to Spider -Man and the Secret Wars. Prepare for battle. I'm saying, hey, it's not going to happen. I don't have any performances. The script doesn't make sense. I have no ending. I'm like a voice crying out, saying, please, it's not working. Somebody get me off this. And nobody listens to me. Everyone says, yes, well, Francis works best in a crisis. I'm saying this is one crisis I'm not going to pull myself out of. I'm making a bad movie, so why should I go ahead? I'd rather I'm going to be bankrupt anyway. Welcome to Brattleworld. I'm your host, the ever -amazing, ever -spectacular Spider -Dan. And in this podcast, I spotlight entertainment's best -kept secrets that a mainstream audience may find boring. And welcome to Backstage Past, where we explore the detailed history of entertainment's most troubled productions. And this is a very special podcast. You could say magical. Ooh, we are working some magic. So for the first time in the flesh, I have I Am Jack's Musings in the Secret Wars headquarters face to face. I can smell him. I can smell that handsome musk he has. I was about to say that indicates negativity. No, no, it's handsome musk. It's a good smell. It's raw, it's manly, it's masculine, much like this film that we're going to be talking about today. But luckily, he's come, he's been through his own trauma today, his own physical strain. He's fought fate.
Psychic Medium Ginger Bayley Reveals the Truth About Dark Spirits
"Welcome back. So if you're just joining me, I have psychic medium, hypnotherapist. Reiki healer, nutritionist, personal trainer, and weight management coach Ginger Bailey with me today, and we were talking about spirits. And I asked the question, Ginger, right before the break, are there dark spirits? Are there bad energies? You know, we see these horror movies and we see these stories, and it's like, is that true? I mean, can people get possessed by dark spirits? So it's not like the movies. So we do have, we have to have both ends of the spectrum, okay? We have to have, like, you can't know dark unless you know light, you can't know light unless you know dark, that kind of thing, okay? So there is a lower level set of energies on the other side. It's not, though, like they portray like in religion, you know, with demons, demonic, scary like that. Now, there may be some that kind of cross that way and show themselves that way, but everything is really just energy. It's not, it doesn't have a form. And the reason why that would happen is because they kind of feed on depression and the lower level emotions, you know, like sadness and stuff. But being, somebody being like possessed is one of the, it's so rare, so rare. Most of the time it's a life contract, okay? We have contracts before we come into this life. And that's usually something that's planned ahead of time. And again, it's for people to learn from, because you learn from everything, no matter how bad it lasts on. So there are, yes there are, but they're not like it shows in the movies. It's very rare to have somebody be, you know, attacked or injured at all. Well, you hear those places, you know, like those haunted houses and people go in. And so I guess if something traumatic happened, you're going to feel, and you're sensitive, you may be tapping in and tuning into the energies of whatever trauma happened at the environment, like the location that you're at, maybe, you know, that you're feeling that. Right, right. Yeah, because there are residual energies too, and things that, like PK energies, they call them, and all those are created by emotions or trauma, or let's say somebody was hurt, you know, or killed very traumatically, that can leave an imprint in the energy there, in the universe, and that's like a residual thing, and you can feel that too.
"How to Kill a Firefighter in 5 Easy Steps" With James Geering
"So you talked about your blog for a second and I want to talk about it for a minute because I was reading through your website this morning and this blog really caught my attention it's from 2018 so you probably remember the how to kill a firefighter in five easy steps yes and it's still the same problem today so by that point it had been a couple of years talking about some very pertinent things which is flogging a dead horse to some people if they listen to the podcast a lot but it blows my mind how people are still completely oblivious to it but yeah for example we talk about cancer oh it's you know wash your gear absolutely a small part of the overall thing but the strength of the individual's human body to carcinogens resist is a massive part of that mental health oh james it was what you saw with that you know decapitated three -year -olds absolutely that's a part of it but if you know for example my own personal journey and I never actually I was very very fortunate I had so many positive coping mechanisms given to me just by accident I mean none of us can manipulate our childhood but I was extremely lucky but I almost died in a house fire when I was four so you know you could look at the the three -year -old thing and be like why isn't he getting better well maybe I've never addressed the four -year -old me thing before I ever put the uniform on so that piece was really seeing that this information was kind of getting out there and people completely still refusing to address that so for example sleep deprivation the shifts one of the things that die on my sword elements is that the insanity that if you go into a bank or a grocery store right now 99 of the people working there their work week ends at 40 hours but the person that wakes up from a dead sleep at three in the morning slides down a two -story pole gets in the back of a rig drives lights and sirens against traffic goes to a fire makes entry does a search pulls someone out maybe even then doffs their gear and functions as a paramedic 56 hour week is perfectly acceptable before mandatory so this was the big thing is like yeah if you want to kill firefighters and just keep doing the same thing that you're doing and you're smashing it congratulations you're reaching your quota which is what is a body count again or we could actually take a step back listen to all the science that's already out there from every other profession except ours and police and realize that we're killing our people and until we invest in our first responders and give them the rest and the recovery that we need in our profession I would argue that a 2472 should be an industry standard at minimum then I mean the longer time goes on the more blood is on your hands and you have the information like just my podcast alone 800 experts from neuroscientists sleep medicine experts coaches and nutritionists and you name it so you can't say you didn't know so now it's knowingly burying your peoples and that was 2018 that's five years ago I was already just angry about it because I myself had put two years worth of information out there for free anyone can access no Patreon no exclusive membership just open source for the whole world so they say about insanity doing the same thing expecting different results you know push -ups haven't fixed mental health clean cabs I'm all for that concept not surgically but leaning that way but we're still losing people hand over fist from cancer so it's not just the fires it's not just the exposures to trauma there's other elements that we have to bring into this conversation
"trauma" Discussed on Way OUT of Childhood Trauma
"So it's really important to acknowledge that and adapt education to that because more pressure just make it more worse. They will just start feeling that they're failing, but it's possible to help them to release it. So we will speak about that next week and in some following episode. But also for any therapists, coaches, teachers or parents, it's interesting to learn how to work with those who develop Complex PTSD which can be a result of events like that. I will be running the course in the end of June which is called Complex PTSD for Coaches and Therapists. So you can join the course and get a really deep, deep comprehensive thought about how to work and help people to recover from these events, ongoing or single events and how it's affecting development and how we can help them. Because I think that it's really important for everybody to know that it is possible. It's really important to realize that children don't have to necessarily develop the trauma responses if you give them what they need in that moment. That it's possible to recover and sooner we will start reacting to figures or anxiety or change in the sleep patterns and realizing the connections. Easier we can help them and not make them suffer. Having triggers, it's not an excuse. It's a warning. It's not supposed to be that we're supposed to bubble rub them or put the cotton balls around them. It means that we need to help them and we need to help them to process the trauma and it's possible with therapies, it's possible with different techniques and encouraging them that they are strong, that they can reconnect with their inner strengths and they can cope and land on new coping skills. So, I want to thank you, Lela, for being here with me and about this very important topic and I hope that people will find it helpful. And if you would want to be notified about our next episode, please follow on and like.I would ask people if you like it, please like. More people will get it seen by search, bots working their way and if somebody like it, that other people will see it. And if you feel that it's most useful and you learn something from it. And we're all looking to see you in the next week. So, what will be your closing words, Lela, for today's episode? Well, I would love to say that we would all need to believe that miracles are possible and they're happening every day and we probably have some beautiful story about survival and how we can help others feel hopeful and feel very excited about their recovery journey. And we should definitely encourage people to go through therapy and not judge anybody. And I'm really, really excited for our next episode because we will cover many, many interesting aspects of experiencing trauma. And thank you so much, Barb, for this amazing opportunity to create, I think, one of the most important episodes we have created so far. And I'm very excited for your course and I know it's going to be phenomenal. And I would love to mention in the next episode a little more about this to just give people a little, you know, intriguing feeling about what would they learn and achieve. And I know it's going to be amazing. Thank you, Barb. You're welcome. So, thank you, everybody, for listening to us. If you have any questions, you can contact us on our website wayoutoftrema.com or you can find us on Facebook. I'm Barb Smith-Varkova or you're self-counseling or Danielle Amadak from Mind Freedom Therapy. So, if you want any help or you have questions, don't hesitate to contact us. We are happy to help or give advice and topic related to the trauma and childhood trauma especially. So, thank you very much, everybody, and see you next time. Bye.
"trauma" Discussed on Way OUT of Childhood Trauma
"So repeatedly talking about positive and good lives and good expectations in the future and that reinforcing the idea that this child will always have you, will always have one person that gives you the feeling of belonging, connection, love, safety is enough. Even if you know you're doesn't have grandparents or father, if the child has only one person who really, really loves them, who's always there for them, it is enough to help them feel safe and give them a good foundation for future. And sometimes kids, just like parents or teachers at school after the shootings happen, have this feeling that they and they did have a chance to say goodbye or they didn't have a chance to tell them how much they love them and how much they mean to them. And it can be very painful, but there is a way out of this feeling. You don't have to feel like you are a prisoner of this feeling for the rest of your life, helpless and feeling so powerless because you will never have this closure. With the help of therapy, you can go through all five stages of grieving and loss and you can really have a lot of improvement with the power of rapid transformation therapy and hypnosis because it's creating really great results. Sometimes the results are immediate and sometimes you need to wait a certain period of time to see the first results depending on the issue. But as you said, Barb, talk therapy and accessing the problem from cognitive perspective is going to require a lot of session, a lot of time and for immediate health and really seeing the anger and pain and hopelessness and powerlessness and despair. There is a lot of despair. The best thing is to access the subconscious mind and it's really safe and you can expect just to be relaxed, incredibly relaxed and feeling that you're going to sleep. So sometimes people have very strange expectations about hypnosis and what is going to happen in therapy sessions, but therapists have to explain to them what can they expect, manage their expectations and not be scared of this at all. And do you have some good points that you would like to share about this topic? Yeah, I think that this will be your topic of our next episode because when I will start speaking, we will probably speak other hour and I think that it's very important and we will get to it the next week about that grieving process and how different that grieving process is after sudden feelings and how it's actually different about grieving the children, which is the hardest part of it and how different way grieving the children, teenagers and adults because we all have different ways of processing the bereavement. And also explain the difference between bereavement, which is the natural process of mourning and grief when it's stuck in some moment and we need help to move forward. So we will get back to it in the next episode where we will spend time on it because I think it's very important topic related to this crisis moments and violent events which affecting the whole community and how to get to that closure or how to move forward in their life, how not get stuck in that grief and what challenges it and what techniques we can use to do so. But I would just want to say the closure of this episode is really important for everybody who working with the children affected by tragic events or violent events to realize how hard it is for them to cope, what they're going through and how their mind can be overwhelmed and how they can switch to survival mode so it can affect their focus and concentration in school, it can affect their ability to learn new things and creating the new memories, it can affect their ability to express and recall.
"trauma" Discussed on Way OUT of Childhood Trauma
"Sometimes you would even ask them and they would say that they are smaller or encourage them proudly say, oh, I am seven, I am 13. But sometimes they will say, oh, I would like to be six or I would like to be four because I feel safer in that time. So it's important to realize that these reactions are that desire to feel safe and find a way to provide it and realize and then they can feel safe that just because they are the age they are, it's not different. If it's the right way down, it's easier not to develop a trauma response for younger children because their brain have a neuroplasticity and can adapt very easily. We allow them to express their emotions. If we allow them to process that and then reconnect with their inner strengths, then they don't have to develop trauma responses. It's trickier with the teenagers in the way that they often already have a disconnect of trust with the parents to sharing their emotion with the parents. And that expectation, what the reaction would be like, I would be told that I am weak or I would be told that I should be brave. I would be told that I should just suck it up or I would be told that I should, I should, I should, I should, I should. And they are able to create like thousands should in their mind why they don't. But that's actually make it worse that deepening that issue and they often destroy themselves. So that is really important to realize that and work on the change, work on that, find that connection and that it's really important about admitting that own feelings because special in that age 12 and higher, they would see the parents as they would cope, as they're strong. And they would have feeling that they're failing. I have a feeling I should be strong as them. I should be so composed as they are. So on one side, be composed and be that safe space for them to some level. It's useful and it needs to be in that first moment, I'll assume. But then it's actually really important to explain them that we as adults are also scared that being brave and courageous doesn't mean lack of fear, that it's willingness to face it and to allow them to realize that they still have the right to feel scared that we also feel scared. So that's our natural reactions are tiredness, silence, distance, this way of allowing space to process. So give attention, but not too much also, not force child to do something or not force them to activities they don't want to do because it's just mean that they will start shutting out even more. SH. Yes. And parents should also be aware that after traumatic events, children feel a lot of stress and they can be clingy to adults. They can be very, very scared to be away from their parents. They can also feel the anxiety of separation from their parents and they don't want their parents to go anywhere without them to go to work. And many parents do give up their work to stay home and be with their kids to help them and take care of them and take care of their needs. And as you said, Barb, there is a scale of grieving now to acceptance and it is a process and the time will not heal the wounds, but the kids will learn as the adults do that they're just going to accept and live with it for the rest of their lives. But as you mentioned, neuroplasticity is a fantastic science tool that helps the brain to create new neural pathways. And with the power of repetition, the brain can learn that the world can be a happy place, a safe place that kids could grow up and happy family and they will get married one day, have a great job, they will make their dreams come true. And when you repeat that to your kids many, many times, like a song they learn or something, you know, material for school, their brain will start to react differently because of the new neural pathways, new ways of thinking, and your child will start behaving differently because it expects to find connections, to find friends, to fall in love one day and to go out and go to university and find a job because they do eventually need to grow up and meet their own. You can't just expect your children to stay clingy and, you know, rely on you as a parent.
"trauma" Discussed on Way OUT of Childhood Trauma
"Okay Barb, I wanted to ask you what are the normal reactions during and following a traumatic event? What is normal? What can we expect when we hear about the trauma happened and what should be considered that is absolutely normal? So the normal will be that that child will be tired after that but we kind of feel don't want to speak about that but it's about that because they don't know in that moment how to kind of verbalize it because they are just overwhelmed that the brain is overwhelmed so it's really hard for them to verbalize how they feel. They would express the feeling that they want to be close to somebody, they would want to be hugged, they would want to be held, so it's important to provide it, be with their presence or use cuddle up in the blanket because it's not just that feeling of being close with somebody but also that sensory calming. So it's why paramedics would always put the blanket over somebody because it's kind of like create a cocoon, kind of safe place. And there can be natural reactions, good things, of course crying or be sad, also be angry and expressing in that. Then can be feeling they don't want to eat because it's just the body, it's exhausted really, so don't force them to eat, it's about something sweet and fat. So even something which you would normally maybe count as unhealthy, that's just fine because they just need something which will be comforting and which will give them energy because of bodies and minds. Our brain is the processing so hard, which is during pragmatic events and after, they actually need the sugar. So even if they're refusing to eat, allow them, offer them or make them eat something sweet and with the fat. So if it will be hot cocoa or semolina porridge, something which will make them feel cared for and but it's not hard to digest. And I think it's a very natural reaction is try to not go out and for the moment, try to find that safe place. And if it's in their bedroom, if it's in the living room, it's wherever it is, it's important to allow them to find that feeling of the safe and for sure be more present with them. Very good techniques for it, it's called cuddle time and it's about really be with a child and hugging them on sofa or in their bed, which allow them to actually calm down physical body, calm down their mind and it's getting to that mode that they can start processing and verbalizing and just let them encourage them to do so. It's actually great to have it as a daily habit all the time because it's a time when they will feel that they have this undivided attention and so they can be more quiet, they can be more angry and outburst. But important is not to punish them or not to telling them what's wrong with them or what's real with them, but say, okay, let's be angry, okay, let's be sad. I'm seeing you, I'm hearing you, acknowledging your feelings. And when we do that, that phase is no longer because it's a grieving process for everybody and for children that grieving of innocence, or they lost that innocence of childhood, of carelessness and that. And so there will be the denial, anger, under acceptance and we need to allow them to do that. And it's important to realize that they're growing and encourage them to do that because often also reaction, it's becoming smaller, like start acting as the younger age, start acting smaller. And because it's that desire to be protected, it's that memory of when I was smaller, I was protected by parents, I was carried in the baby carrier and that was great because I was safe. So it's important to encourage them to realize their age and really show them how amazing they are that age and how powerful they are in that age and what actually allowing to be that age, what it means. So sometimes it's about saying, okay.
"trauma" Discussed on Way OUT of Childhood Trauma
"SH. Yes, that's fantastic, Barb. Another fantastic tip about how we can encourage our kids when they leave home and go out in the streets, go to school to feel safe and to feel that they can also protect someone else. They can teach their friends, share a story, a tip that mom gave or dad or grandpa and we can all be very creative about this. So, just imagine to tell our children that they have this inner protector and it is always there to help them in the crisis and this voice in their head is there to remind them of their favorite nursery rhyme or their favorite song or their mother's voice or this voice is there to tell them, imagine your toy box and your toy box are all your favorite things and smells and the memories of home and the memories of the people who gave this to you. We want you to feel safe everywhere, protected and strong and when you encourage their imagination they can maybe come up with something more beautiful and you can tell them, okay, you can pick that. That could be your protector, inner protector, your inner voice and as you mentioned, Barb, they can always wear bracelets and necklaces or something that is very, very valuable or old and that is going to make them feel protected. We can also tell our kids, okay, you can touch your finger and thumb and you can feel instant strength and you can feel that you are strong because when we use our body and mind at the same time we are reinforcing or we can tell them, you know, just you can hug yourself, you know, you can hug yourself at school, when you feel scared, when kids are bullying you, you can be creative and tell your kids that they can always believe that there is an inner protector, inner force, the inner voice to help them and sometimes we tell the children that they have an inner cheerleader which is telling them, praising them how smart they are, how safe and happy they're feeling and that they're beautiful, wonderful, that they deserve all the happiness in the world, that they are enough and also as you mentioned, Barb, with this sensory input, yeah, it's very interesting how when kids experience trauma or anyone who experiences trauma they, but for example, we're talking about the shooting in schools today and when kids experience, you know, the smell of blood, they hear the shooting and get them, they also see something very harmful, they hear something horrible and they also smell certain smells and all these goes into their brain to tell them that next time when they feel and hear and smell something like this, the same or similar, they're going to be triggered in order to turn on the alarm, the survival mode and to keep them safe and sometimes kids have trauma, post trauma, family trauma, they have trauma because they have encountered some mental health challenges or developmental disabilities that do affect their responses and reactions in the crisis and the statistics say that over 60 percent of children experience traumatic events by the age of 16 and if they have experienced trauma previously throughout their life and they never had received any professional help, they probably have developed post-traumatic stress disorder but many traumas, different traumas happen, different traumatic experiences, not just a single experience, they can also develop complex PTSD and you should be aware of the fact that the mental health of children is becoming even more complicated, it's more complicated for them to cope with reality, to cope with the challenges of the development and to learn and to process their emotions, so kids do need to have a different approach because they're very vulnerable category of people, population and as you mentioned, Barb, hypnotherapy is excellent way of doing therapy because we can access their subconscious mind and so much like a sponge, it is absorbing everything, every emotion, every experience, every feeling, every thought that we have created in our lives and when we can access this sponge, we can access their entire life, it's amazing how we can find surprising things about the meanings and interpretations of trauma or bullying or anything they have experienced like racial discrimination or discriminated because of their weight or discriminated on how they look and also bullied and when we can access their subconscious mind, we can help them more quickly to get the permanent results and to remove the cause and the root of the issue because in our therapy, we both work with causes with the root of the problem, we don't work with the symptoms, we don't mask the symptoms just to help them feel relief short term, we're trying to help them to have long-term results to recover because when kids are recovering, the parents, the whole family is recovering, the whole society, the nation and we must start from this small unit, the nucleus of society, the family and even if parents are working too much every day and trying to meet the needs of their children that are very specific and unique, they often don't have time to just sit down and talk for half an hour a day and if you could find 30 minutes every day to talk to your child, to ask them how they feel, to really give them this feeling of love and connection and that they belong somewhere, they need to belong, you are going to create long-term better mental health for the entire family, better interaction and instead of avoiding each other and letting your child be isolated in the bedroom and alone, they're going to even feel more worse because children do tend to avoid being open to their parents, they're going to tell about their feelings to their friends in school but they will not be open to their parents because they're afraid of punishment, they're afraid of being rejected and it's very painful, that's why you need to create this feeling that you're constantly interested in their lives, that you're present there, that you want your child to be alive and so you can feel more connected and more strong when you are interacting in a loving way, in a warm way and yes.
"trauma" Discussed on Way OUT of Childhood Trauma
"And so if they're living in own trauma response, they probably will not be capable to react to the needs of the children. So I think that is very important for community to look out for children of parents like that. If it's the teachers, if it's the pupil support, if it's the social workers or if it's the neighbors, if it's some other member of the family and realizing that yes, it is responsibility of parents, but if their parents are not fully capable adults in emotional and mental capacity to help them, there should be some other parents, other adults which will step in to some level and help the children to possess it. So it's really important not to forget that children are everybody's. They are our future and we need to cooperate on raising it up. But as you mentioned, this grounding technique, which is about the connection to our senses, then it's also important to process this sensory memories which we have from this crisis moment and that is often an overlooking part. HA. You would probably read a lot of advices which is about recognize the triggers and try to avoid them. That's not working. That's not working because that's just mean that we actually deepening. That's how we're deepening that feeling of unsafe and we confirm for the child that all this is unsafe. Every sound which is related to that, every smell which is related to that. So that is the one which is called exposure therapy. That's the one option. So then we can in the small amount start to expose the child to the same environment or smells or sounds and in the safe environment, link these sensory inputs with the safe moments. That's one option. That can be used when they need to revisit the places of where the crisis happened, when some attacks happened, stuff like that. It shouldn't be forced. It shouldn't be a long way on the first time. So it's a process of realization that past and present are not in the same time, that place itself. It's not dangerous that what's happened there or a person who was present there is dangerous. It's not that place. It's not that sound. It's not that smell. Or it's actually good to again try to encourage children to identify these memories, identify these because what we are not often realizing that our mind is processing about 2,000 inputs every second. So a lot of people would remember from even what happened how it smelled, what they taste in the sounds was around. And the more we allow children to express that verbally and written in dramatization, then more is helping them to process that and separate that from drowning. The sound of a bum or something doesn't mean it's somebody shouting or somebody shooting. So it's important to connect that. And I would again want to stress if your child actually does develop trauma responses, which is mean that will be started with the sounds or will start showing the signs of the high anxiety if in some noises or smells or touch, then it's really important to seek therapy for the child. But I would really recommend some therapy which working with subconscious mind or somatic responses as hypnotherapy, RDT therapy or somatic techniques because in that time, it's already developed traumatic responses. It means that the talking therapy itself would not work itself. The child didn't manage to verbalize it before and it gets to that response. So it needs to be dealt with on a different level. But if you actually allow the child in that first days and weeks after event to find these memories and acknowledge them, then they are able to create a memory box. And this is all which belongs to there and they will stop relating it to the daily life. So it's kind of like creating the memory box of what's happened which can be even in a way of encouraging of the photographs on things which can they touch, everything which is kind of related to that. So again, we are kind of back to the basics of speak about what's happened with their children. Let them find the words or expression of that because then their mind is powerful. Their mind is able to process it. We just need to encourage it. We just need to help them to find their way and their mind will find where they might want to be healthy. Their mind wants to be then fully functional. And being in the survival mode is very exciting, very irritating for mind, for body. So when we give the mind the options how to release it, then mind will just jump for it. It's why that grounded technique or deep breathing working because in that way, we can even just tell children, just imagine that with every exhale, all that fear or anxiety or anger going out and you're breathing out like a drug on the fire or a red stem or something and you just breathe it out. And mind would do that because mind don't want it in body. Mind want it out because it's very heavy feeling. And children have the great imagination and all these suggestions you have to lie about, introduce some character which can help them. That's great advice because they can relate to it. They can imagine what it means to be strong. They can imagine that it's not needed to be all the time because the superheroes are not all the time. Supermind is a great example of it then because it's kind of normal guy. It's just normal guy living his life and become superwoman when it's needed and the children need to realize the same that they are children, they are normal, they are fine, but they are capable to protect themselves or act correctly in the moment when it will be needed, when they would be in some situation like that, but they don't have to be in that mode all the time. Also, I would recommend one more technique for parents and it is token of safety, I would call it, which could be sounds, it could be music, or it can be actually something what the child carry with them. And it's very effective technique for children. If we will take something, if it's the necklace, if it's the bracelet, if it's the pin on their backpack, they can very strongly relate it to subject as a token of that they are protected, yeah? And they can create that belief very easily like if I have this, I am safe. Or it can be a lullaby which you sing to them in evening or music box which they would have that feeling that the parent is there and maybe you will do it 10 days and after that if you will put it on, your child will just fall asleep because they'll feel safe. So, it's also technique which is really powerful and they can apply it. And if we can encourage them like when they're going out, for example, order the place of event and we give them this token something and we can remind them when they're becoming agitated, for example, we can just kind of remind them, do you remember you have your necklace, you have your cross, you have your band, you have your pin and so you are okay, their mind will just switch back. It's called the make the trigger and anybody can do that. You just special parents, that conviction from parents for children, it's very easy to program it. So, you can just tell them close your eyes and now put all your belief that it's a safe to do this thing and then you have it with you, you will be always I am with you, you are protected and it's a very powerful technique.
"trauma" Discussed on Way OUT of Childhood Trauma
"You can also tell them to remember of the times when the world was a safe place and that this world will also give them a safe place and they will be saved from it if another crisis happens. And you can tell them they do have a guardian angel and they can use their superpowers of their mind. You can also introduce some character like Superman. Everybody knows about Superman and you can tell them that this character uses the power of his mind to have superpowers, to save himself, to save everyone. And children love characters, love to identify with superpower heroes. You should be creative and if it's difficult for you, you can always find a good therapist to help you set the goals and strategies to helping your child. And I think that it's very important for community work together because first of all, not everybody's parents will be capable to do so because if the parents dealing with their own trauma unresolved even before some crisis and they already are living in survival mode, they can be extremely triggered. And they itself, them itself, they can become triggered for their children or actually become the additional source of survival mode for their children.
"trauma" Discussed on Way OUT of Childhood Trauma
"LRF This is fantastic technique, Barb. Thank you for sharing this. This is amazing and I think every parent should be inspired to try this and use it because they can have instant results. And one of the things that parents do when they see that their child is behaving differently after experiencing trauma, they always say what is wrong with you child? Why do you behave like this? Why are you not like your brother or someone you know from school? And what is wrong with you? They insist that something's wrong with the child and the child feels even more different and even more alone. And they avoid going places where that will happen. They avoid talking about this and sharing with parents and they can go into risk-taking behaviors or developing eating disorders, using and abusing drugs or engaging in self-harm behaviors. So a good way of turning this around what is wrong with you should be what happened to you. You should ask yourself what happened to my child because my child has changed. His behavior has changed. My child is no longer smiling, doesn't have happiness, doesn't play like it used to. So I have listened very carefully about when you said Barb that you have mentioned the emotion of anger and when you know people experience something like this, they don't have power, they don't have control, they're hopeless and they feel a lot of anger. You and I as therapists know that the underlying emotion behind this anger is pain. And it's much easier for everyone in this terrible situation to feel angry than to feel pain and talk about the pain. But the point is that you shouldn't talk about the pain constantly. You should do something with it. Go to therapy, seek for professional help. And this is very important for parents too because if they feel anxiety and stress and constant fear, outgoing fear about the safety of their kids, they should both go to family therapy and use different techniques like grounding technique because when you tell your child to focus on the outside world and tell you how many blue colors, how many blue objects can he name in the room or purple or yellow, then you can ask them what they smell in the room and what they hear, what are the signs, sounds in the room. But also tell them to close their eyes and take a deep breath and to start feeling the world around them, the world where it's safe. And if they can imagine what is the safe place, is it grandma's home, for example. If it's grandma's home, if it's your home, then you should tell them, imagine your grandma's home and imagine how many beautiful feelings she gives you when she prepares your favorite meal. And this is how you just use this grounding technique to reduce the anxiety and fear and help your child feel better immediately because they're not gonna be focused on their thoughts, the chaos, the anxiety. They will be focused on the outside world instead of the inside feelings. And you can help them feel calm and feel more safe.
"trauma" Discussed on Way OUT of Childhood Trauma
"Hello, and welcome to the eighth episode of podcast, Way Out of Childhood Trauma. I am the Barb Smith-Vaklova from your self-counselling with the program Trauma Responsible Programming and here with me is the Daniela Mada from Mind Freedom Therapy. And our two-day topic is very serious, but we want to make it almost us, kind of like mastermind or something, and really info for people. Because our today's topic is related to the violence witnessed by children. And we hear it in the news often about shooting or stabbing in schools or violence in schools or in an environment where our children. And I'm personally very horrified every time when I hear that. And it's why we decided to make this episode on topic how to help children. So, I would want to ask Lela how you see these moments when children are witnessing or are part of the violence events in their life. It's a special episode dedicated to children. It is really very sad to see how children feel when they experience traumatic events like terrorism, man-made disasters, war, shootings, global pandemic or natural disasters. And they feel affected in a very profound way because they lose this feeling of safety. And especially when they experience mass shootings at school, they lose the feeling that school is a safe place. And when they go back home and they have lots at home, they also don't find a safe place there. So, children are in a very, very high risk of potentially themselves thinking about suicide, or they turn to drugs or high risk behaviors, depending of course on their age. They respond differently in elementary schools and adolescents, but they do feel guilt. They might feel survival guilt because they have survived certain crisis and their neighbors or friends or relatives and members have it. So, they feel a lot of anxiety. They have problems with concentrating, problems with sleeping, with nightmares. And they start to easily, which is also a significant symptom that they have experienced trauma. And sometimes they don't want to discuss about trauma with their parents. And on other occasions, they're talking to everyone because they're so frightened and they're trying to find someone who can give them empathy, compassion, and reassure them that this world can be a safe place again. So, I think that child's stress means that reactions to trauma interfere with their daily life, their ability to function and to interact with other people. In general, the symptoms can develop gradually, slowly, or the symptoms can be invisible. That's why many caregivers, parents, grandparents, teachers need help and we should provide them with that help or advice. And I'm very happy that today we can share some fundamental information about how to handle the crisis and emergency situations. And I would also love to hear your opinion on this topic, Barb. Yeah, I think that it's very important to go to the beginning, what is actually happening in that event. And we often speak about trauma, but trauma itself, it's a reaction on the event. It's not that event itself what happened to the child, but how the child processed it, how the child or other dealt with that. And when it's for example, violent attack or any violent attack in school or in other environment, the child naturally go to the survival mode and the mind will just swap off to the survival mode and the child will start reacting from that level of, I need to survive. And it will also be affected on their brain function that their brain will start making the signals very active, very active, all senses to lessen, smell, hear everything. And also, we start producing very high level of cortisol and adrenaline to this fight mode and run mode and just protective mode. And so, when we're speaking about trauma, we want to go even like before that, we want to speak today about what to do to prevent developing trauma because trauma is the trauma response on event. But when we take the steps since not even happen in that first days and first weeks with children, they don't have to necessarily developing trauma response because it's about how they ask the individuals process that experience they had and how they learn from it and how they can move forward. So, they will not get to that disconnection of the path. They will not get stuck in that event and the trauma responses doesn't necessarily need to be developed. So, when the trauma response is already developed, then we need to take actions to work with them and we need to help them to release the trauma. But it's really important that they're possible to stop it, that we don't have to necessarily say it would happen. But it's really important to look on that what is happening in that time. So, when the child or adult, but the child very extensively facing about that, the first emotion which will come is fear, which is natural. We all will be afraid. If it will come fear, then it will also come anger because anger is energy which is helping us to protect ourselves. So, that reaction, if it will be run, hide, throw, scream, that will go from that reaction of anger. And if they are processed, if they are released, if they are expressed, then the child can see that experience as something which happened in their life and how they're moving forward. If these emotions are not processed, if they are stuck, if they are suppressed, then it starts developing that trauma response. So, it's why really important these third moments and first weeks after any crisis or whatever type of crisis it is. Yes, and it's very interesting how you said about the meaning the children give to their crisis and situation they have experienced. And it's connected to how the brain is hardwired to respond to emergencies in a very specific way because this fear response means that the brain is encountering something very traumatic that may be dangerous and the brain just disattaches, the reptilian brain disattaches from the emotions and turns on the strategy to survive, to survive alone. And they feel this flight or flight response. And so, the body releases biological molecules that change things in the body as well. And they also feel increased heart rate, sweating, hyperfocus, and the hyperfocus of the attention. And among the most significant changes several part of cortex begin to shut down, the frontal lobe goes first affecting our functions and the ability to plan, to judge, to process problems, and to verbalize. So, kids cannot test the language. And when we speak to them, when we tell them, give them kind of advice or information what to do, they don't listen because they cannot process what we are saying to them. And when we ask them, how do you feel, talk to me, what is your name, tell me where you are, how old are you, what is the day today, they have problems to verbalize it because their body and brain responds immediately to trauma. So, they have problems to regulate their emotions as well. And the best way to approach children in this situation is to look at their eye, talk softly, and ask them what is your name, call them by their name, and tell them that now they're safe, you're the adult, you know ways how to help them. And you can explain them, introduce them ways that you're going to help them, where they can go to feel safe. And, you know, make them feel that alone in the world because they are dependent on adults. And when crisis happens, they have no idea or life experience what to do. And sometimes they're physically very small, and they cannot escape. So, the feeling that they cannot escape physically or mentally or emotionally is very devastating and debilitating, and it creates the feeling that helpless and hopeless and powerless. So, can you, Barb, tell me something about how can we help children not to feel these feelings for helplessness and helplessness? How can we first help them and encourage them? LR. I think that what's very important is to acknowledge the feelings they have and find a way how we will allow them to express them. That is a very important reaction of the adults, especially the parents, because same as with the children, when they are get scared for their children, then very often will come also that anger, that anger that wants to protect them, wants to take care of them. But it's very, very important for adults and parents to work with that and realizing that if they express that anger, they're actually scaring that child even more because the child doesn't understand. The child will see that they are angry to him or her, that they did something wrong, that it's their fault that they were there or something happened. And in that moment, parents are not at a safe place because when they are angry, they are actually dangerous to their children. So, it's really important to realize that they are scared. If they realize that they are scared, they can connect with that child feeling of scared, and then both can release it. And that's what elevating children from that. If they realize it's okay, it's okay to be scared. It was terrifying situation, but now you are safe. I was also scared, so I have that power. I wanted to protect you, and I am here for you now. So, it's really important. When we are doing in the first first time and children didn't get the chance to express their emotions, we can actually do it. It's one of the techniques which parents or caregivers or even teachers can do with the children after an event like that, so it's just traumatizing. And it's to recognize if the child has that emotion, it's not expressing. If they are angry, you can tell them, can I be angry with you and express that. If they are sad, can I be sad with you and all that. You really connect with them, acknowledge, allow them to have that emotion and not try to tell them, oh, it will be all okay, it will be all fine. Because it's just me that we're telling them, what do you feel it's not real, what do you feel it's not right, and they will just start suppressing it. You need to tell them what you feel is right, because you feel it, so that's okay. And that method which is like, can I be with you, it's really working because we can really go down on that level of the child and connect with them. And it's actually very therapeutic also for the adults who are doing it, because of course, even others are affected, it was happened to the children. And when we started connecting with their feelings, we're connecting with our feelings and we can release them and realizing that that's happened, but that was happened in the time and we are not in that moment now and also release ourselves from that moment. So it's really important to let them express that emotions, but also it's very important to give them comfort and react for their actually bodily requirements after a traumatic event, because all that what's happened in their brain, all hormones created in their body, all the reactions are very, very tiring. So they are in the state of shock. And so it's really good to give them some safe place, warm place, warm drink, and let them rest even for several days, just let them not force them to some routine, not force them to do something they don't want to because they are exhausted. They are really very tired because their body was flushed with very high level of hormones. And we can compare it to like, if you will go and run the marathon without being trained to be marathon runner, and you will just go and run marathon, how exhausted that child is. And that's also important in that careful then realization that they have the right to feel weak, right to be tired and not start putting any labels on or you should be stronger or you should be that. No, allow them to actually be children and process it. They didn't deserve to go through that. They didn't want it to go through that. They got to that situation, but by not own choice, I mean, to give them a chance to actually recover and process it. So that's important. What would be your tip, Lala, for parents, what they could do with the children to help them? I think one very important aspect after crisis happens in a community is that parents should reduce exposure to media and the news about the disaster because it is traumatizing the children. Again, they're reliving the events and the trauma as if it's happening right now and their body response in the same way. So parents should actually encourage their children to ask questions about what happened, why it happened, and the parents should explain them what was on the news and what is the truth and what is not and to reduce this exposure because it's harmful. And very often children suffer through smaller but equally devastating emergencies like bullying at school and community violence, racial violence, and it is very important to acknowledge that kids can have a lot of trauma and they hide it from their parents because they should also expect that after a crisis occurs that children may experience the sense of loss, the sense of loss of security and routine. So this comes from the sense of permanency gives them the belief that they are safe and good when they have a routine. But when they lose this, it's common that children just want to be by themselves and they're asking themselves about the world they knew and the world that was one safe place but it's not anymore. So disasters can also increase family conflict, family violence, arguing, and also mental health problems, substance abuse, alcohol, drugs, and parents should be aware of this. And even the children who are not directly impacted by the crisis like school shooting, natural disasters, terrorisms, can also be afraid and feel this fear because it is because of the media exposure. It's available online. They can get informations very easily and parents should work with their children at home because if children feel neglected at home, if they feel that they don't have a voice, that they are not seen or heard, they're gonna be very disappointed and they're not going to want to talk to anyone else outside of the home because they will think if my parents don't love me enough, help me. How could I trust anyone else like teacher, caregivers, neighbors, or grandparents? And sometimes kids have problems to verbalize and explain their experience of trauma and depending on their age, if they're adolescents or elementary school or younger age, parents can encourage their kids to express themselves creatively about their trauma and sometimes children will disassociate from trauma when you tell them to paint the traumatic event. They're going to paint something beautiful because they're disassociated and they have created a safe place in their mind. You can encourage your children to use drawing, painting, sculpt with clay depending on their age and you can start this exercise with kids by asking them to write what they feel today, what they dreamed last night and to grow a person who makes them feel comfortable and safe and create a conversation about that, about this exercise because kids love to play, they love to be creative and you can have a chance to speak more openly with your children and give them even more safety, connection, love, and the emotions that they need in this moment. And I would love to ask you Barb, what would you advise parents or caregivers, how could they take care of themselves better to give a better support to their children? Yeah, so the main thing is that realization of their own feelings because there are reasons behind them. Usually the most common feeling is anger which is caused by that fear, but behind that is that feeling of helplessness that wasn't there, wasn't able to protect them. And so, and then it's often related to the own feeling of own capability to cope. Am I strong enough? I'm not. I'm not enough. I'm failing because I feel against the failure that wasn't able to protect children or be in their presence. And that often stem from their own experiences as children. So that is important for them to realize that what is reality and same as they would try or should try to allow children to process what's actually happened for them as the individual, they should realize what's happened for them. And even for example, map the day when it's happened like really in the morning, I woke up, I have this for breakfast, how it was actually a very normal day until something happened and then what that emotions were when they came and realizing that they wasn't able to do anything. They wasn't there. It's not their fault. It's not that they did something wrong. It's just happened. And even when we see it as very, of course, negative event in life, everything in the universe is actually neutral. It's just how we react to it. So we don't have to love it, but we can get to the neutral point of view and saying like, yeah, it happened. I did my best to support my children. I was afraid. I feel like this and I feel like that. But start realizing that it wasn't something they were able to influence and taking off that expectation on themselves, what they should do, could do, would do because they are all just creating that. Why it is important is that because when the parents are not able to process their own emotions, they are very much projecting these emotions to their children. So then children doesn't feel safe to tell their parents exactly as you said, they don't want to bother them because when they see that parents are overwhelmed with these feelings, they don't feel safe to go to them and speak with them. But admitting these feelings to children, it's actually very powerful because when we are admitting to them that we were scared, they're realizing that it's all right to scan. When we admit that we are angry because we feel hopeless, they're realizing, oh, I also feel angry because I feel hopeless and that's actually right. It's okay. Feel like that. So then they can process it in the moment when parents staying in these emotions, they are disconnecting from the emotions from children and they don't feel safe. Sometimes parents would say, oh, my child coping with that very well, they are quiet and they are not speaking about that. It didn't affect them. So I would just want to warn to parents that if your child is not speaking about traumatic event that happened and seems like, oh, that's act like normal, that's not healthy reaction. It just means that the child is disconnected from what's happening. And in that case, you would really should make a conscious effort to make the child to process it or seek professional help because that's just mean that the child suppress it. That's just mean that they put it down because even if the child is brave, courageous, and it's deal with that nice, they would speak about that. They would say that they feel brave. They would say that they feel that they cope well and that they are happy that they survive and stuff like that. Or they would admit that they was afraid, but they was brave and went through it. So if the child not speaking about events, it's actually very warning sign that the child it's dissociating. But also that is the way. Again, there are other techniques which I would recommend the parents can help them and to help their children is ask the children to speak about what's happened from a really, really their point of view, not what was telling on the TV, not even itself, like somebody shoot or somebody stand there, what you did. You went to school or you went somewhere in the morning and going really almost minute by minute what's happened and how it's happened. And then show them on their reactions if they would say, oh, I started running somewhere or I hide somewhere or I frozen. Show them that it's actually amazing that they are actually strong, that it's their mind working amazingly because perfectly as opposed to switch to the survival mode and keep them alive and that they are actually strong. And it's helped them to connect with that feeling that they can trust their intuition, that they can trust their instincts and that they, yes, I did survive. I am strong. I am capable. I am worth it. And in the same way, the parents can do that. And paradoxically, trauma is often not exactly what happened but the reaction around which happened. And when we start speaking with children or with adults, if they get stuck in some trauma response, it's often what they would like to happen so that they would say nobody was there for me or I hope that somebody would come and take me from there. So that's the question which you can ask children and let them describe the event which happened and ask them what they would want to happen, what they would want to happen instead of what happened. And often they would not say that they would not want to happen that even itself because they very well realizing that it's not in their power, but they would say, oh, I would want you to be there or I would want to be able to run quicker or I would want to come Superman to swoosh and take me from there. And that is technique which allows them to rewrite the story because you can encourage them and say, okay, let's make it happen and retell the story in the new way that that happened, that somebody was there for them, somebody came for them, or show them that they were strong. And I'll tell them, oh, you didn't really need that because you was actually so strong, you managed to do that by yourself. And it's about that we can rewrite, we can say a different way, we can rewrite the story what happened because it's all just our interpretation of that experience. It's not what each of every individual on the Earth, it's a different reality we're living in because we all see this from our point of view. So we can rewrite it, our point of view on it. So the children can do that and parents or carers or counselors can do it with the children, allow them to say what they would want to happen, how they would want to write that story, how they would write that story. And that's a technique which allows them to be recollected back with their power, with their feelings.
"trauma" Discussed on Way OUT of Childhood Trauma
"Is really very sad to see how children feel when they experience traumatic events like terrorism, man -made disasters, war, shootings, global pandemic or natural disasters. And they feel affected in a very profound way because they lose this feeling of safety. And especially when they experience mass shootings at school, they lose the feeling that school is a safe place. And when they go back home and they have lots at home, they also don't find a safe place there. So, children are in a very, very high risk of potentially themselves thinking about suicide, or they turn to drugs or high risk behaviors, depending of course on their age. They respond differently in elementary schools and adolescents, but they do feel guilt. They might feel survival guilt because they have survived certain crisis and their neighbors or friends or relatives and members have it. So, they feel a lot of anxiety. They have problems with concentrating, problems with sleeping, with nightmares. And they start to easily, which is also a significant symptom that they have experienced trauma. And sometimes they don't want to discuss about trauma with their parents. And on other occasions, they're talking to everyone because they're so frightened and they're trying to find someone who can give them empathy, compassion, and reassure them that this world can be a safe place again. So, I think that child's stress means that reactions to trauma interfere with their daily life, their ability to function and to interact with other people. In general, the symptoms can develop gradually, slowly, or the symptoms can be invisible. That's why many caregivers, parents, grandparents, teachers need help and we should provide them with that help or advice. And I'm very happy that today we can share some fundamental information about how to handle the crisis and emergency situations. And I would also love to hear your opinion on this topic, Barb. Yeah, I think that it's very important to go to the beginning, what is actually happening in that event. And we often speak about trauma, but trauma itself, it's a reaction on the event. It's not that event itself what happened to the child, but how the child processed it, how the child or other dealt with that. And when it's for example, violent attack or any violent attack in school or in other environment, the child naturally go to the survival mode and the mind will just swap off to the survival mode and the child will start reacting from that level of, I need to survive. And it will also be affected on their brain function that their brain will start making the signals very active, very active, all senses to lessen, smell, hear everything. And also, we start producing very high level of cortisol and adrenaline to this fight mode and run mode and just protective
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"And so i think that's what we're looking for is is their character the character of manipulative kindness or exploitation of privilege or is it genuine care and protection for you. Coach joy and i have had a lot of conversations about the term entitlement. We know that one of the four pillars of abuse. You can find this info graphic in the back of my book. Trauma husband drama. You can also kind of see that four pillars of abuse floating around on instagram on instagram. Where we are at betrayal trauma recovery and facebook pages betrayal trauma recovery and one of the four pillars of abuses entitlement. But coach joy was like this is not a strong enough word. We need a stronger word..
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Like that but in terms of your the way it affects you. It affects you on a daily basis. That is extreme. It's extreme abuse. There's no other word for it right and he still able to be in contact with me. Unfortunately because of our children would sleeps the door open just for him to continue to abuse me exactly and people. Just don't understand that like that living in this constant state of something that you do your best to set boundaries. You do your best to heal you. Do your best to move on. You know all those things that are healthy. It's literally it's not impossible. You will live an amazing life and things will get better for you over time. But that they don't understand that there's no way to stop him from abusing you right in shame because you know our judicial system and even so much as like counseling like for co parent counseling and understand and it's difficult because it's like the boundaries that you set up our ben having to be torn down or changed because you have to follow the parenting plan or something Parenting plan on kind of legal plan. Have you ever talked to the legal system or your attorney about. You're being emotionally and psychologically abused and you need a parallel parenting plan He is very well aware. We just started a second co current counseling. And i do want to ask if we could do a parallel parenting. And let's see how buckles. Yeah yeah it's a difficult situation and it's ongoing and the divorce doesn't stop the abuse however divorce does protect us from things like financial abuse can protect us from a lot. It can protect us from a lot of things but it can't stop the abuse outright. So that's what's really difficult and so many victims now are and praying and praying for justice. All over the world. And i wonder if god is waiting for some big. I don't know that all of our prayers will be answered sort of simultaneously. Because i think in our own personal lives. It seems like our prayers to just be free of this are not happening. Ray i mean it just seems like it's ongoing. How is your relationship with god. Considering this considering that if feels like we pray and pray pray and the our prayers aren't being answered now. I guess it's it's kind of like any relationship. There's time i've got his right by my side and ask for gifts be through the day and then there are times that i'm asking word where argue. I don't feel you so hard. I'd always have faith in our lord. I know he is there but to feel him. Just makes it so much more doable to get through this situation. it's tough. I couldn't do it without my faith. I couldn't do it without god. And i am grateful for that. But it's hard i to pray for truth and i mike lord. I need truth to come out soon. I need it soon. So hasn't been answered yet. But i know that god is always working in this series ways. So i'm just hoping and living in hope that it will come out at some point. Yeah i had a discussion with god the other day he was like i answer so many of your prayers. You don't notice. 'cause you're focus on these other ones. And i was like but i don't care about those other ones. These are the ones i want you to answer. Answer them know. Why are you not answering them. I'm so mad at you. Think i mean things come on and you don't even know and i guess we don't know but it is frustrating to feel like. He helped me with this thing and helped me with that thing. But why can't you help me with this big thing in the just so i don't have to have any more contact with my abuser. Which is a really big thing right. That's one of my prayers. And i find it going to like sinful ball sometimes which i try not to but mike him getting hit by a bus a totally the rare but then i do think what got you to my children so i do have to remember that there is not just me in the situation however it also to me would be protection for my children because they are abused as well exactly. Yeah yeah. I wonder about all those old testament. Stories of the wicked being smitten. I'm wondering like. I wonder if that's coming down the pike. I don't know. I don't know but i know that the best we can do is to be obedient women faith obedient to the commandments. And do the best. We can under very difficult situation right. And hopefully in god's time it will come out. Hopefully it's hard if you could go back in time and share with your younger self anything. What would you tell her. I guess to be so trusting to go with your gut feeling and if you are doubting anything just don't don't second guess look into a little bit more and be sure who and spend the rest of your life with take some time to really get to know the person. It's interesting though. If you don't know what you're looking for you don't know i mean you could spend time with them and not see it right because we all spent years with our abuser and we didn't recognize we were being abused right and that is what happened and i had some odd dreams. That happened and i pretty much ignored them. Which i kind of wish i didn't do. I didn't know when you have a yeah when you have no context for it. It's difficult to see. So that's one of the goals of btr is educate women all over the world about abuse about what it looks like so that we can educate our children. You know so that they can start having a context so that if they have a dream. They have a context for what they're experiencing right. Yeah we'll we'll be here for my children down road you know. They're educated Yeah they're looking for well. Kathleen thank you so much. Will you come on the podcast again to update us about how your voice went. I'd be happy to man. Thank you so much okay. So we'll check back in with her in. I don't know six months to a year and see how you're doing. Thank you so much for being brave in tune your story. Well an thank you for the opportunity to share my story. It's definitely helpful to know that there are other women out there that understand and i'm not alone in this. You were not. There are lots of us so welcome to the club. No one ever wanted to be right. Thanks for the welcome. Summer has started as you know. And summer is so rough so many abusers choose to have some kind of abuse episode. When you're stuck in the car and you can't get out or you're on vacation and you have nowhere to go. I don't know if they do that on purpose. So that you can't escape or you have to put on a happy face around other people. It seems to be a pattern. So if you're experiencing this please make sure that you joined betrayal trauma recovery groups so that you have access to our daily online support groups that are live so that you can get help anywhere that you are and you don't have to wait for an appointment again. You can see our session schedule. Btr dot org. If this podcast is helpful to you please support it. Go to btr dot org. Scroll down to the bottom and click on support the podcast and until next week. Stay safe out there..
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Yeah <Speech_Female> <SpeakerChange> <Silence> <Speech_Male> <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> <hes> i've seen <Speech_Female> that happen to. <Speech_Female> It's really interesting. <Speech_Female> Even a couple of <Speech_Female> friends that we had <Speech_Female> that her husband <Speech_Female> is <SpeakerChange> also <Silence> a porn user <Speech_Female> have decided <Speech_Female> to side with my <Speech_Female> ex <Speech_Female> and i just think <Speech_Female> that's really interesting but <Speech_Female> they're still married so <Silence> i wonder if they think <Speech_Female> well <Speech_Female> if we talk <Speech_Female> to an you know. <Speech_Female> She's so <Speech_Female> intent on calling <Speech_Female> this abuse. Maybe <Speech_Male> our <Speech_Male> marriage would be in <Speech_Male> jeopardy so <Speech_Female> we don't really want to go down <Speech_Male> that route. I i'm <Speech_Male> not sure why they've <Speech_Male> decided to do that. But <Speech_Male> he's still exhibiting <Silence> abusive behaviors <Speech_Female> from my <Speech_Female> perspective. But of course <Speech_Female> they can't see <Speech_Female> that. <Speech_Female> So i'm like <Speech_Female> why would you want to be friends <Speech_Female> with an abuser. <Speech_Female> That it makes no sense <Silence> to me but <Speech_Female> right <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Female> and <Speech_Female> also. I think we <Speech_Female> can clearly see that. <Speech_Female> They're lying and manipulating <Speech_Female> people. <SpeakerChange> But <Speech_Female> they can't see it <Speech_Female> no and <Speech_Female> you know there's <Speech_Female> a part of me that has little <Speech_Female> sympathy for <Speech_Female> a third party people. <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> I believed <Speech_Female> my husband's lies <Speech_Female> for years <Speech_Music_Female> My whole <Speech_Female> ship was <SpeakerChange> based <Silence> on lies. <Silence> Yep <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> well and if we couldn't <Speech_Female> see it right <Speech_Female> then my they <Speech_Female> don't even live with him <Speech_Female> so of course it would be <Speech_Female> hard for them to see to <Speech_Female> write <Silence> these good at lying <Speech_Male> <Speech_Female> Good manipulation <Speech_Female> get a good at grooming <Speech_Female> really <Silence> early <Silence> <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Female> so a lot <Speech_Female> of women <Speech_Female> who are hoping that <Speech_Female> their relationship <Speech_Male> is going to workout <Speech_Female> and hoping <Speech_Female> that once <Speech_Female> confronted about <Speech_Female> his abusive behaviors <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> that he can <Speech_Female> get into some <Speech_Female> program and get <Speech_Female> help and if <Speech_Female> they go down <Speech_Female> the pornography addiction recovery <Speech_Female> route <Speech_Female> many cease <Speech_Male> hats. Do <Speech_Male> what is known. As a full <Speech_Male> disclosure <Speech_Male> where the abuser <Speech_Male> is supposed <Speech_Male> to <Speech_Male> outline all <Speech_Male> of his <Speech_Female> indiscretions <Speech_Female> but doesn't necessarily <Speech_Male> include <Speech_Male> all abuse <Speech_Male> episodes. <Speech_Female> So <Speech_Female> since you went down <Speech_Female> that route for a little <Speech_Female> while did you ever <Speech_Female> have a quote <Speech_Female> unquote full disclosure <Speech_Female> with the help of a pornography <Silence> <Advertisement> addiction <SpeakerChange> specialist <Silence> <Advertisement> <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> now. Unfortunately <Silence> <Advertisement> i did not <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> <Speech_Female> anything that i <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> found out <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> about. My husband was <Speech_Female> either me finding <Speech_Female> out by <Silence> catching him <Speech_Female> or <Speech_Female> him. <Speech_Female> Over the years <Speech_Female> basically <Speech_Female> drip beating <Speech_Female> me information. <Speech_Female> And i would <SpeakerChange> figure <Speech_Female> things out <Speech_Female> you <Speech_Female> say unfortunately. <Speech_Male> Is that something that you <Speech_Male> think <Speech_Male> would have helped do <Speech_Female> or <SpeakerChange> what did you <Speech_Female> say. Unfortunately <Speech_Female> well i guess <Speech_Female> i say unfortunately <Speech_Female> because <Speech_Female> without any <Speech_Female> truth <Silence> there is no <Speech_Female> basis <Speech_Female> for your relationship <Speech_Female> and i <Silence> <Advertisement> never received truth. <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> So <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Female> that's part of <Speech_Female> the reason. Remain <Speech_Female> reason why <Speech_Female> <SpeakerChange> my marriage <Silence> fell apart. <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> It was just <Silence> <Advertisement> never <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> bound <Silence> to make it from the get-go <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> but <Speech_Female> if i had some truth <Speech_Female> at some point <Speech_Female> if he was truthful <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> with me i felt like <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> feel like maybe <Silence> we
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Why don't you start with your backstory. What was your situation. So i guess from day one of my marriage. I just felt like something. Just wasn't right and i could never put my finger on it. We were i thought happily married had a child and then her surely after my second child was born i just ahead a feeling that something wasn't right and i found out unfortunately that my husband was into pornography and that was just devastating. I just felt like everything was over. Although i didn't want and the marriage i just felt like my perfect world with my newer marriage. My children are are sweet. Little family was just ruined. It just was not what i thought it was and we immediately tried to get help. He unfortunately was lying to me about the cause of his use of pornography. He blamed it on my pregnancy. With my first and second child i later found out that he was addicted to porn. Since he was a child he was about eight years old when he started a long story. Short many years down the road found out that he was sexually abused by brethren cousin as well so it just for years went on him dabbling in help never getting real help or getting recovery. And i just kept with it trying to stay strong trying to stay in the marriage. I never even really thought about leaving the marriage but we just kept going and we had our good times and our bad times and when things were bad they were very bad. Things were good sometimes but it was really not much to hold onto so we went on like this for probably fourteen fifteen years until we started to get help together and through working with them over about two year period. I started to see and they also start to see that my husband just did not want to do the work together better so they had to stop working with him which then made us pretty much come.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Tina's within is the author of divorcing a narcissist and founder of the high conflict divorce coach certification program. Tina continues to champion children's rights through her family court advocacy. She is working to raise awareness of the issues in the family court system and educate the general public on post separation abuse and narcissistic abuse. Tina is married and resides in san luis obispo california with her husband and two daughters. Welcome tina thank you so much for having me. I am absolutely honored to be here. I love your stuff. Read it all heard so many interviews and so impressed with you and so sorry for what you had to go through. Of course our audience is of women who are going through similar situations. So we're all in this together so who listen to this. Podcast are generally at the beginning of their journey of the abuse so for example they may have found porn on a computer or they may suspect has been having an affair or something like that something kind of more tangible than i would say narcissism might maybe they find porn which is different than maybe thinking is my husband nurses or maybe they find out about a lie and they're not really thinking divorce yet at this point. They're thinking well. Maybe we need to go to therapy. Or what's wrong with him. Or maybe if i can figure out if he has a personality disorder what it is. Maybe we can get some help. And the reason why i wanted to interview is because i want women to be thinking long term that regardless of whether they've decided to divorce right now or they're kind of considering it or thinking about it or sort of mulling it over or perhaps trying to avoid it but again. What are some things that they need to consider so that they can be prepared long term. It's sort of like having a savings account right. You know you never want to lose your job but you have a savings account just in case you do. Can we start there with some things that like. You wish you would have known years before you even recognized. The your husband was in our assist. Absolutely and i. I want to say because i relate to the foundation of your program so much and my situation it wasn't porn but it was a some a similar infidelity of sorts. I discovered that he had a mistress and that was
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Changes you and those experiences can be sanctified by your healing. You kind of feel like these old saints you know. There's a saint for everything in the catholic church. There's a saint for everything Saint for moving saint for people to drown in water for being killed by an arrow on the back of the wagon. Anything that you can think of. And i'm like yeah i i feel like i'm the c. For toxic marriages or something. So that's why. I included that imagery and it just came pouring out of me paint on really quickly Send it to the show. did very well. There won several awards with it. And it's just an it's kind of like an icon army seen kirsten. Yeah right yeah. It was very just shocking. Is the right word that i would use for me but because it just spoke to me so deeply of the imagery that i had experienced in my dreams. It's interesting that the experience of this type of abuse we have. The details are all different for every woman. But this feeling of we've been almost drown in someone else's filth in a place where we should be safe like yours was a psychiatric hospital. That's the place where someone should be helping you. You know technically in a bathroom. It should be somewhere that you feel safe enough to just you know. relax. I guess but instead of that. You're getting someone else's filth all over you and his sanctifying experience it leaves marks on you and those marks. Don't go away. they can be transformed. They don't go away. The title is called flood damage in that really. It really looks like that. It was amazing. There were so many like every single. One i could talk about especially your what are the ones called the japanese ones where you put yourself back together with. Gold can suzy. Those release spoke to me. But the second one i'd like to really focus on is called unequally yoked so this is a painting of kirsten with a yoke and she is a yoked on one side. Yes yeah i have my neck and one side of the double yolk okay. Yeah and the other one is just empty and she's pulling this by herself. This one too it. Just i mean everyone of your paintings just hit me at my core but this one. I spent so much time observing thinking about in processing my own. Things can talk about this one a little bit. I did this painting. It's probably my favorite painting that i've ever done by the way it just really speaks to me. Still get in two thousand eighteen. I was divorced and just starting to get back into trying to date bona real time for me..
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Welcome to betrayal trauma recovery. This is an. I have kirsten back on today's episode. If you did not hear last week please go back and listen to last week. I we're continuing her conversation today before we get to that. I wanna give a shout out to all of our betrayal trauma group. His betrayal trauma recovery group is our online support group. We have multiple sessions in in every single time zone. I think we're up to twenty three or twenty four sessions per week. I can't remember. We just added a couple at that. Might be wrong. You can go to our website to check at bt are dot org once you get on. We recommend that you join from a desktop or a laptop. It's a little bit easier than on your phone because you know phones really small once you join also recommend that the first time that you get into a session that you do it from a laptop just so you know how it works and then you can do it on your phone on an ipad anywhere. You can do it in your car if the car is stopped. And you're not driving obviously in your garage in your closet. We built it for you. You don't have to get childcare. You don't have to set appointments. So please check out the betrayal trauma recovery group schedule at bt are dot org and we'd love to see you in a session today. I love reading your reviews online. And i appreciate all of you. Who have taken the time to go to apple podcasts. Or other podcasting apps to rate and review this podcast similarly some of you have recommended us on. Facebook have recommended trauma. Mama husband drama. Which is my picture book for adults. That's available on amazon. Every single one of your ratings on any platform in any medium helps isolated. Women find us so. Please take some time today. To rate the podcast. So the women like us don't have to go through any more chaos and pain and they can find this free podcast and get the information that they need. Okay now back to the conversation with kirsten. I talked with curson last week. About meet loafing. Which is an awesome. So you have not heard that. Please go back and listen to that first and then join us here again. Kirsten is a member of our community. She is also an incredible artist. And i wanted her to come back on to talk about her art and how that has helped her process her trauma in heal from what she has been through. I had the opportunity to go to her art show with my mother we spent. I don't know maybe two hours was surprised that.