38 Burst results for "Trauma"
Fresh update on "trauma" discussed on WTOP 24 Hour News
"One victim using the singer's nickname called the 55 year old quote, a pied piper who lured children with his money and celebrity. He was a skilled sexual predator who preyed on his victims and after grooming them. He inflicted significant emotional and sometimes physical harm. Kelly did not testify during his trial nor did he make a statement ahead of his sentencing. His lawyers argue that he had been sexually abused as a child. Obviously he's devastated 30 years in prison is like a life sentence for him. The defense team used Kelly's alleged trauma to push for a lighter sentence, while prosecutors recommended at least 25 years. Kelly was also fined a $100,000 we are told he did not speak at his sentencing this week, but he has denied any wrongdoing and says he does plan to appeal the case. Deaf and hearing actors are teaming for only theaters the music man. The lead actor joy WTO to discuss the production via an interpreter. This production is a twist on the classic musical. Our cast is made up of both deaf and hearing actors on stage at the same time. You will see dialog in American sign language, as well as spoken dialog and singing. Lead actor James caverly started as a Carpenter building sets at all in the theater before pitching the idea of the music man. I was the sole deaf person at the theater. I went to see spring awakening on Broadway with deaf and hearing cast members. That was an awakening for me. Coming back to town, I approached Jason Lois, the artistic director by only theater center, and I told him we have to do a musical together. Watch our sign language chat on WTO P dot com, Jason fraley to BTO. Double DT will be Thursday morning to 1243
The US Military Is Struggling to Meet Its 2022 Recruiting Goals
"Is one of our great successes as a nation, strongest military ever to exist in the history of the world. NBC News. Every branch of the military is struggling to make its 2022 recruiting calls, officials say. With record low number of Americans eligible to serve, and few of those willing to do it, it's quote, is this the year, the question of sustainability of the all volunteer force. I wonder why. These people. It's an intentional destruction of the U.S. Military. That's what they've been doing. Every branch of the U.S. Military is struggling to meet its fiscal year 2022 recruiting goals. The official said The Pentagon top leaders are now scrambling for ways to find new recruits to fill out the ranks of the all volunteer force, defense secretary Lloyd Austin and deputy secretary Kathleen hicks consider the shortfall is serious issue. Yeah, maybe you should have thought of that before you wanted to mandate an experimental gene therapy and kick out active duty personnel, which Republicans did nothing to oppose. This is a start of a long drought for military recruiting, said retired general Thomas spore of the heritage foundation. He said the military has had not such a hard time signing recruits since 1973. Quote, 2022 is the year we questioned the sustainability of the all volunteer force. Now that NBC News article continues and they say, oh, it's because of the psychological trauma quote they think they're going to be physically or emotionally broken after serving. That's not why. I'll tell you why it's happening. Two things. They don't want to take in a vaccine against their will, and they don't want to serve under this. Put that on screen. Rachel Levine and the new LGBTQIA+ regime in our military and also people want to enlist in a military that plays to win Afghanistan was a humiliation. From Lloyd Austin and Mark milley.
Fresh update on "trauma" discussed on Dose of Leadership
"So you want to be respectful of the chemotherapy because it is medicine that you're doing and you don't want to be doing anything to potentially interfere, but on the other side, some doctors say no vitamins, no herbs, and unfortunately that's not science backed. That is a statement that is, it is possible to take the right supplements at the right times, so it supports a woman's ability to get through treatment and be healthy as possible. That's amazing. And so you said a couple of things there that I wanted to ask questions around, which is for second opinions. Is there specific places information resources for second opinions that you would that you would say either go research this or type in this term or specific actual places you'd say go here and what would be your recommendation for second opinions? I think it depends where the person lives and what their insurance is going to cover. And you know, I was working with the woman in North Dakota in this little town. And she had an unusual type of cancer and without being disrespectful to the doctors there. I felt like she would get better care. So she went to one of the major cities in North Dakota. She had to travel. And she sent her blood work and a pathology report over and actually I think now that she had a zoom appointment. So it is possible to and you have the medical right to ask for a second opinion. If you're being treated in a small community going to the teaching university in your state, you can get your insurance to pay for that and with zoom right now, most people do not physically have to travel there. Very interesting. And then even more, I guess, even more than just a second opinion, the space that you're in, are there good resources, and obviously we want to provide your access to your information specifically, but are there good resources? Is there a society for naturopathic cancer doctors? What's the resource there for people? Well, there's the society for integrative oncology. Okay. And that's where there's a lot, not just of naturopaths, but medical doctors and other practitioners who are very much interested in taking the best of both worlds. There is the naturopathic society for oncology organization. There is that. There is the Madeira foundation in Ashland, Oregon, which is where I learned everything I know about how to work with cancer and all of these practitioners and places are very ethical. They're highly trained. You need to apply to be members of them. And most of them do work by Zoom. Oh, very excellent. Well, thank you for that. That's wonderful resources. And then I know you have to see a patient here shortly. So I certainly appreciate you coming on and respect your time today. How do people how do you typically work with patients and then how do people get ahold of you? How do they find you? Well, there's many ways, one, first of all, to find me, it's very easy. It's my name, Carol, and then my last name is spelled, RI E dot com. And you go up and there's the contact me button and send me an email and I respond to everyone. I have an online group coaching plan where people come in for 6 weeks and this is called empowered against recurrence. And we work together as a group. We go through nutrition, supplements, mindset, and recovering from trauma, healthy lifestyle, monitoring your blood work, and then the 6 week is a workshop reducing tamoxifen, aromatase inhibitor side effects. That's one way. And then I have a clinical practice where I work with people remotely, and you get to see me one on one. And some people start out with the group, and then they do more private consultation. It just depends on what you want. I think that working with people all over is it's the healthcare of the future. Right, definitely. I work in the medical spaces to some degree as well with doctors and nurses and senior care space. And we found that since COVID, it's been a blessing because we can reach people in these smaller communities we can have faster interactions instead of somebody having to wait in the lobby for an hour and drive for an hour and all this stuff. It's a lot more efficient and very, very effective as well. So I think it's kind of wonderful in that aspect of what we've evolved to. So we'll definitely put all of your information in the show notes. And I know it wasn't a ton of time today, but I feel like that there was a lot of value packed into this session today for him. And resources for people because I know I'm going to share this obviously with my mother, but I'm sure there's many other people in many of our other listeners who would love to share this with people that are dealing with this or don't want to kind of want to be proactive and not get cancer, right? There's a lot of education and information around that as well. If you want to refer to a local person where you live reach out to me, I have colleagues throughout the U.S., I'll do my best to find you someone in your state and I can't promise it's going to be in your city, but or someone who will work with you if you have a different type of cancer other than breast cancer, feel free to reach out to me. I will find you an appropriate referral. Perfect. Well, thank you so much, doctor Lori, for coming on today. I appreciate that you've leaned into your superpower and are living your superpower. It's certainly very inspiring and I know that the world is a better place because you are living your superpower. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. It's been my pleasure to be here. Thank you. Well, thank you for coming on today. Thank you for being a part of the bright by podcast. For more information, go to bright vibe dot com that's BRI TE by VIP dot com. Thank you for listening..
What's in the Bipartisan Gun Legislation Agreement?
"Of stuff from senator cornyn's office on the bill. It reads, quote, this is a targeted bit of a legislation addressing specific problems that have led to recent mass shooting. Get that, they're specifically addressing evolving. And there was news on baldy, which I'll come to in a second. Unless you are adjudicated mentally ill or a convicted violent criminal, your Second Amendment rights are not affected by this bill. So don't get upset. If you are a gun proponent, a gun owner, it's not going to impact you. In your law abiding. The proposal ensures schools are safe, kids are protected without placing new restrictions on law abiding gun owner. Big new investment mental healthcare, including in rural areas, more resources for school safety and school hardening helps keep gun out of the hands of those who aren't supposed to have them. Federal funding to implement programs help those suffering from mental illness, like veterans courts homelessness courts assisted outpatient treatment, increases the mental health and suicide prevention programs crisis and trauma intervention. That's all good. Invests in telehealth, mental health services in schools, including early identification and intervention. Intervention made the key to me. They've known they have known from the beginning, who the disturbed children are, and when they turn 18, they ought not to be able to run out and get a gun. And so, there are additional times for waiting if you're between 18 and 20. And if there's a reason for concern, it's a ten day waiting period, and that's good.
Fresh update on "trauma" discussed on WTOP 24 Hour News
"In the low to mid 90s. We'll have some scattered chars and thunderstorms around on Saturday with highs in the low 90s. I'm storm team four meteorologist stimulate Draper. Right now, DuPont circle at 79, Germantown 72 and Dale 71. Some parts of our area could be down to the 60s overnight. Disgraced R&B superstar R. Kelly is sentenced to 30 years in prison tonight on racketeering and sex trafficking charges to be as news correspondent at least Preston from Brooklyn, New York. One victim using the singer's nickname called the 55 year old quote, a pied piper who lured children with his money and celebrity. He was a skilled sexual predator who preyed on his victims and after grooming them. He inflicted significant emotional and sometimes physical harm. Kelly did not testify during his trial nor did he make a statement ahead of his sentencing. His lawyers argue that he had been sexually abused as a child. Obviously, his devastated 30 years in prison is like a life sentence for him. The defense team used Kelly's alleged trauma to
Larry Nassar loses last appeal in sexual assault scandal
"The former sports doctor convicted in 2018 of sexually abusing gymnasts has lost his last legal appeal The Michigan Supreme Court rejected a final appeal by Larry Nassar he went to prison after pleading guilty during an extraordinary 7 day hearing in which over 150 dancers Olympic gymnasts and other athletes detailed how he sexually assaulted them over many years under the guise of medical treatments Nasser said he deserved a new hearing and was treated unfairly by ingham county judge Rosemarie aquilina who said she signed his death warrant with his 40 year sentence that he would wither in prison like the wicked witch in a two page letter the court said it had concerns over the judge's conduct but declined to take the case noting that the judge stuck to the sentencing agreement and that they had no wish to subject the victims to additional trauma NASA received another 40 year sentence in a separate case in a neighboring county and
Everyone Wants to Be a Victim
"What? I watched these shows. Why can't LGBT or people of color characters, why can't they just be allowed to exist without a, it being the focus, the core focus of their identity? Or B, it being a source of trauma. Every single representation in media has to include a heaping helping of the people going through shit, just trying to survive when most of us turn to entertainment to just get away from it all. We want to sit down and not have to think. But then again, I think I know the answer. Everyone loves a victim nowadays. Everyone wants to be a victim now. This big money in being a victim, not so much a hero
How Black Men Are Victims of Generational Trauma
"Young black men are getting murdered almost every single day in inner city's all around the country. And nobody cares. I care, you know, I wish there was more I can do. There was a group of men, I think they were called the Detroit 300 or something like that. I can't remember. I want to reach out to them to help donate to the calls that they have, which is me and going into the communities and preventing a lot of this violence from these young men who are not geared in the right direction. Let me say this. Some people may think in their minds and in their souls that somehow, and I know it's not y'all, I'm talking about the white liberal, that black people are inherently dangerous. That's not necessarily true. Although a lot of young black men are misled, why generational trauma, people don't understand the effects of generational trauma. And a lot of people want to go way back to slavery. Well, none of us were slaves and nobody even know a person who owned a slave. So let's start with modern generational trauma. When you have young black men selling dope to one another, creating zombies in the inner city communities, when you have mothers not allowing or having children with men who have not made a commitment to be in the household, that's generational trauma. I remember growing up and my cousin used to get beat with extension cords, hangers, all kinds of stuff. And my great cousins. That's generational trauma. When you can't even walk outside your house without getting robbed in afraid of getting gunned down by another black man, that's generational trauma.
Man held in attack on doctor, nurses at California hospital
"A Southern California hospital emergency ward was the scene of a S.W.A.T. team standoff Friday I'm Ben Thomas with the story Los Angeles Police say a man walked into encino hospital medical center in the San Fernando valley asking for treatment for anxiety and stabbed a doctor into nurses They were taken to a trauma center in critical condition Lauren McAllen as a surgical tech at a nearby hospital she tells KA BC They were carrying people out on stretchers One underwent surgery but all three were later listed in stable condition meantime the man holed up in a room for about four hours before S.W.A.T. team members finally arrested him He was taken to another hospital for treatment of self inflected injuries Police say he has a lengthy criminal record including two arrests last year for battery of a police officer and resisting arrest coming just two days after a gunman killed four people and then himself at a hospital in Tulsa Oklahoma McAllen tells kaab It's just disheartening And with all this other stuff going on these days I mean this just really hits really close to home I'm Ben Thomas
Joe Biden: We Need to Ban Assault Weapons, Raise the Age to Purchase
"Biden takes to the airwaves yesterday, here's cut 6. Here's Joe Biden. With his big gun control speech. Think about that. The bodies aren't even all buried yet. They've just begun the funerals and you've already all week, they're having these funerals of these precious little babies. They're making custom design caskets. With race cars and Cinderella motifs. And TikTok for one of the children who loved TikTok videos. That's the caskets they're making for these children. 19 children, one by one, executed, and the president of the United States goes to the nation's airwaves, speaking from Washington and saying it's all about the guns. We need to ban assault weapons and high capacity magazines. And if we can't ban assault weapons, then we should raise the age to purchase them from 18 to 21. Strengthen the background checks and act safe storage law and red flag laws. Repeal the immunity that protects gun manufacturers from liability. Address the mental health crisis deepening the trauma of gun violence and as a consequence of that violence. These are rational, common sense measures. What a disaster. There's nothing rational or common sense about you or your ideology or your policies. None.
President Biden Gives Speech on Gun Control
"We also will digest today President Biden's speech on gun control last night. Here's the key one minute and one second of it. Cut number three. Here's what the overwhelming majority of American people believe we must do. Here's what the families in Buffalo in Texas told us we must do. We need to ban assault weapons and high capacity magazines. And if we can't ban assault weapons, then we should raise the age to purchase them from 18 to 21. Strengthened background checks, and that's safe storage law in red flag laws. Repeal the immunity that protects gun manufacturers and liability. Address the mental health crisis deepening the trauma of gun violence as a consequence of that violence. That goes along with, I have the text of the speech in front of me. We need to expand background checks to keep the guns out of the hands of felons, fugitives, and those under restraining orders. The red flag there is the restraining order. There are a lot of people under a restraining order who would not have their due process rights upheld if it automatically applied to seizure of their weapons.
Joe Biden Wants a Federal Database of 'Bad' Cops
"They want to have a federal database that keeps track of what they say are these bad cops But what does that mean What does that mean Maybe it's a good cop And somebody wants to put them on the database I've seen this sort of thing before Cut 23 go Putting your own ways you've reached each of you whose family has been victimized As some of the courage to find purpose through your pain to start justice that's been too long dormant To give hope While in need of hope yourself that's why the executive order I'll be signing today is so important in my view It's a measure of what we can do together to heal the very soul of this nation To address profound fear and trauma exhaustion and particularly black Americans have experienced for generations And a channel that private plane and public outrage into a rare mark of progress for years to come This man is such a disservice to this country just such a horrible disservice to this country In every way imaginable I always knew he was a jackass as a senator from day one And a chameleon But we don't need a demagogue in the Oval Office do we Not now not today An absolute full throated demagogue
Kellyanne Conway on Her New Book 'Here's the Deal'
"Welcome back, America. Why am I playing blueberry hill for Kellyanne Conway, whose new memoir here is the deal is the bestseller everywhere in America. I hope you saw her in the view this week. I hope you are reading Kellyanne Conway's here. The deal. She's friends with Frank luntz as I am. So she knows the lunch rule that you've got to save the title of a book 7 times to make the book memorable. So I've said, here's the deal three times Kellyanne. Now I'm going to turn it over to you. I like Kellyanne one stuff. A lot more than Kellyanne two stuff, 'cause I didn't know much of Kellyanne. One stuff, but it's all there and here's the deal. Congratulations. Oh, thank you so much, Hugh. It's been a labor of love to write this memoir. Even though I'm 55, hopefully I have decades of life ahead of me. People are always asking me about the story behind the story. And I think in many ways I've had unique opportunities, crazy wild dramas and traumas, but it's really just everybody's American Dream story raised by a single mom very modestly for Italian women in the household never a political conversation I can recall, but raised to be a conservative because they were all hardworking small business owners believed in faith and family and freedom. We had military and veterans in our family union members in our family, obviously. So it's been a great journey. And you've been a part of that. We started on this radio show in 2000. My goodness, and you would have me on for a weekly segment on polling, which I think is still the grossly misunderstood. Oh, well, that was.
Biden Signs Policing Order on Anniversary of Floyd’s Death
"And what does Joe Biden do today He signs another executive order Against the police Now what do I mean by this They want to have a federal database that keeps track of what they say are these bad cops But what does that mean What does that mean Maybe it's a good cop And somebody wants to put them on the database I've seen this sort of thing before Cut 23 go When your own ways you reach each of you whose families were victimized As some of the courage to find purpose through your pain to start justice that's been too long dormant To give hope While in need of hope yourself that's why the executive order I'll be signing today is so important in my view It's a measure of what we can do together to heal the very soul of this nation To address profound fear and trauma exhaustion and particularly black Americans have experienced for generations And a channel that private plane and public outrage into a rare mark of progress for years to come This man is such a disservice to this country just such a horrible disservice to this country
John Zmirak and Eric Reflect on the Iraq Invasion
"There are certain things you can't make up. I mean, I want to frame this again for people who aren't paying attention because maybe they're not, they're not tracking, I was for the Iraq invasion back when. You were against it. And I remember talking to you and not understanding, I thought, aren't all conservatives for this isn't Saddam Hussein, a monster. And by the way, of course, he was a truly evil monster. There's no doubt about that. But it didn't occur to me at the time that there are reasons not to attack Saddam Hussein and so on and so forth. So I was for it. All these years later, thanks to not just John's mirac, but Donald Trump, we have had a reevaluation. And I think that people now realize not only was it wrong, but it was a disaster on many levels. And then we start understanding that all the people who got us into the many messages in which we are today also got us into the mess of the Iraq War. It's the neocons. It's not magga people. It's not people who want to put America first. It's globalists. It is really tremendously wicked. And so here you have George Bush, do the ultimate Freudian slips of all time. So wonderful. It's the sort of thing that Will Ferrell would make up on SNL or something. But no, no, this actually happened. It's so great. I mean, the underlying reality is grotesque. We are, we killed between 507 100,000 civilians in our invasion of Iraq, which was based on false intelligence and made up junk intelligence that the neocons were shoving past the FBI and putting straight into The White House. There were hundreds of experts saying there are no weapons of mass destruction. The UN inspector said there are no weapons of mass destruction. Nobody had any real evidence of weapons of mass distraction. Colin Powell gets goes in front of the UN with doctored photos that don't represent what he says they are. Condoleezza Rice says, we don't want the next smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud in Manhattan. They use our trauma over 9 11 to make us think that Saddam Hussein is building nukes and is going to smuggle them into America. They make us think he was involved in 9 11, which he wasn't. They make us think he was getting uranium, which he couldn't. I mean, it was just this for rago of lies. And I guess Eric, you're a nicer person, maybe because you grew up in Connecticut, you didn't think your own political leaders of your own party were lying to you to get back. No, of course I
Even Good Morning America Acknowledges Baby Formula Shortage
"Play the cut 7 This is Good Morning America of all places a noted for left you know radical group over there Having to acknowledge its stores around the country are now running out of baby formula Here check this out This morning a terrifying prospect for parents around the country stores running out of baby formula unable to restock He has a very specific brand new trauma gen that he has to have due to allergy and intolerance issues Shawna Bowman says she can't find any formula for her 11 month old son Jacob We have been having to look pretty heavily for it I would say for the last four or 5 months but this last month it's just become impossible to find This morning a terrifying prospect for parents around the country stores running out of baby formula unable to restock That's all right It seems like sorry about that No it's okay It just says the same thing over and over again Baby formula The folks why is that a problem Well for an obvious reasons I don't have young children anymore My daughters are 18 And ten But if you have a baby and you're not breastfeeding right now formulas you're only option What are you going to do folks You're going to give the kid a gargantuan from Jimmy John's You're going to give him a triple from Wendy's The baby's GI tract doesn't have the capability to handle that kind of stuff You don't have any other options How do you screw up baby formula The answer is you put Joe Biden in The White House
Update on the latest sports
"AP AP AP AP sports sports sports sports I'm I'm I'm I'm sure sure sure sure the the the the Boston Boston Boston Boston Celtics Celtics Celtics Celtics made made made made quick quick quick quick work work work work of of of of the the the the Brooklyn Brooklyn Brooklyn Brooklyn nets nets nets nets and and and and are are are are moving moving moving moving on on on on to to to to the the the the second second second second round round round round of of of of the the the the NBA NBA NBA NBA playoffs playoffs playoffs playoffs the the the the Celtics Celtics Celtics Celtics down down down down the the the the nets nets nets nets one one one one sixteen sixteen sixteen sixteen one one one one twelve twelve twelve twelve Jayson Jayson Jayson Jayson Tatum Tatum Tatum Tatum had had had had twenty twenty twenty twenty nine nine nine nine for for for for the the the the second second second second seeded seeded seeded seeded cells cells cells cells with with with with very very very very little little little little trouble trouble trouble trouble in in in in winning winning winning winning the the the the series series series series in in in in four four four four straight straight straight straight games games games games visibility visibility visibility visibility one one one one down down down down seventeen seventeen seventeen seventeen games games games games to to to to you you you know know know five five five point point point game game game with with with eight eight eight minutes minutes minutes left left left in in in game game game three three three and and and then then then it it it will will will come come come out out out for for for tonight tonight tonight any any any idea idea idea Philadelphia Philadelphia Philadelphia rolling rolling rolling to to to a a a four four four game game game sweep sweep sweep has has has been been been answered answered answered in in in the the the last last last two two two games games games both both both victories victories victories by by by Toronto Toronto Toronto to to to stay stay stay alive alive alive the the the raptors raptors raptors handle handle handle the the the Sixers Sixers Sixers in in in Philadelphia Philadelphia Philadelphia one one one oh oh oh three three three eighty eighty eighty eight eight eight Michael Michael Michael won't won't won't go go go reports reports reports up up up by by by two two two at at at the the the start start start of of of the the the second second second quarter quarter quarter trauma trauma trauma took took took control control control with with with a a a twelve twelve twelve nothing nothing nothing run run run that that that was was was capped capped capped by by by a a a basket basket basket by by by Pascal Pascal Pascal Siakam Siakam Siakam SIAC SIAC SIAC had had had a a a game game game high high high twenty twenty twenty three three three points points points for for for the the the raptors raptors raptors will will will look look look even even even this this this best best best of of of seven seven seven series series series at at at three three three games games games apiece apiece apiece with with with the the the game game game six six six win win win Thursday Thursday Thursday night night night Michael Michael Michael Luongo Luongo Luongo Philadelphia Philadelphia Philadelphia Dallas Dallas Dallas defended defended defended its its its home home home court court court took took took a a a three three three two two two series series series lead lead lead with with with a a a one one one oh oh oh two two two seventy seventy seventy seven seven seven win win win over over over Utah Utah Utah look look look at at at dodges dodges dodges had had had thirty thirty thirty three three three in in in baseball baseball baseball probably probably probably shuts shuts shuts tie tie tie breaking breaking breaking grand grand grand slam slam slam in in in the the the eighth eighth eighth inning inning inning powered powered powered to to to rattle rattle rattle to to to a a a six six six two two two win win win over over over Boston Boston Boston it's it's it's a a a nice nice nice I I I mean mean mean I I I just just just kinda kinda kinda knew knew knew they they they don't don't don't wanna wanna wanna face face face value value value so so so with with with one one one out out out trying trying trying to to to get get get a a a ground ground ground ball ball ball so so so I I I made made made sure sure sure that that that I I I was was was looking looking looking for for for a a a sink sink sink or or or try try try to to to get get get in in in there there there San San San Francisco Francisco Francisco use use use Luis Luis Luis Gonzalez's Gonzalez's Gonzalez's first first first career career career home home home run run run a a a two two two run run run shot shot shot of of of the the the night night night to to to beat beat beat Milwaukee Milwaukee Milwaukee for for for two two two New New New York York York Mets Mets Mets over over over Saint Saint Saint Louis Louis Louis five five five to to to Philadelphia Philadelphia Philadelphia become become become the the the product product product key key key to to to to to to Texas Texas Texas down down down Houston Houston Houston six six six to to to the the the LA LA LA angels angels angels over over over Cleveland Cleveland Cleveland three three three nothing nothing nothing Taylor Taylor Taylor ward ward ward homered homered homered twice twice twice for for for the the the angels angels angels and and and the the the only only only Dodgers Dodgers Dodgers got got got by by by Arizona Arizona Arizona for for for nothing nothing nothing one one one game game game in in in the the the NHL NHL NHL Chicago Chicago Chicago over over over Philadelphia Philadelphia Philadelphia three three three one one one NFL NFL NFL San San San Francisco Francisco Francisco GM GM GM John John John Lynch Lynch Lynch says says says he's he's he's confident confident confident that that that he he he can can can work work work out out out a a a long long long term term term contract contract contract with with with wide wide wide receiver receiver receiver Deebo Deebo Deebo Samuel Samuel Samuel after after after Samuel Samuel Samuel requested requested requested a a a trade trade trade according according according to to to ESPN ESPN ESPN I'm I'm I'm Chuck Chuck Chuck Freeman Freeman Freeman AP AP AP sports sports sports
Raptors top 76ers 103-88 behind Siakam, force Game 6 at home
"The the the the raptors raptors raptors raptors staved staved staved staved off off off off elimination elimination elimination elimination for for for for a a a a second second second second consecutive consecutive consecutive consecutive game game game game as as as as they they they they took took took took game game game game five five five five of of of of their their their their first first first first round round round round series series series series with with with with one one one one of of of of three three three three eighty eighty eighty eighty a a a a win win win win over over over over the the the the seventy seventy seventy seventy Sixers Sixers Sixers Sixers up up up up by by by by two two two two at at at at the the the the start start start start of of of of the the the the second second second second quarter quarter quarter quarter trauma trauma trauma trauma took took took took control control control control with with with with a a a a twelve twelve twelve twelve nothing nothing nothing nothing run run run run that that that that was was was was capped capped capped capped by by by by a a a a basket basket basket basket by by by by Pascal Pascal Pascal Pascal Siakam Siakam Siakam Siakam SIAC SIAC SIAC SIAC had had had had a a a a game game game game high high high high twenty twenty twenty twenty three three three three points points points points for for for for the the the the raptors raptors raptors raptors will will will will look look look look even even even even this this this this best best best best of of of of seven seven seven seven series series series series at at at at three three three three games games games games apiece apiece apiece apiece with with with with the the the the game game game game six six six six win win win win Thursday Thursday Thursday Thursday night night night night we we we we try try try try to to to to make make make make adjustments adjustments adjustments adjustments and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and stick stick stick stick to to to to the the the the game game game game plan plan plan plan and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and I I I I think think think think that that that that our our our our effort effort effort effort coming coming coming coming out out out out better better better better Joe Joe Joe Joe well well well well indeed indeed indeed indeed had had had had twenty twenty twenty twenty for for for for the the the the Sixers Sixers Sixers Sixers in in in in the the the the loss loss loss loss Michael Michael Michael Michael Luongo Luongo Luongo Luongo Philadelphia Philadelphia Philadelphia Philadelphia
How the Cartels Are Targeting People in the U.S.
"From W M R it's a radio clip and there's some Congress people at the end I'll probably cut them off because I'm not too interested in them But I want you to hear how the cartels are targeting people in the United States with fentanyl with fentanyl lace pills with fake pills Check this out It was really the influx of the pills laced with methamphetamine targeting children To look exactly like an Adderall that I thought was just an insidious move on behalf of these drug cartels to target young Americans The DEA testified at a rare Senate field hearing in New Hampshire that elicit fentanyl is devastating the state and now the agency is seeing methamphetamine at an alarming rate coming from Mexico and China The ruthlessness of these cartels combined with the callous greed is destroying families and communities resulting in an increase of violence and crime here in the granite state and throughout our entire country Consensus Monday from elected and law enforcement officials was that the old model of incarceration and confiscation is not the way out of this modern drug war A critical component now is reducing demand and congresswoman Annie Custer says that starts with treatment access The Medicaid inmate exclusion is a draconian policy that hurts those with substance use disorder mental illness and trauma whose cycle in and out of our justice system The race for funding to keep up with the agility of drug cartels not bound by rules or budget is an ongoing struggle The issue a priority for senator Hassan We just have to keep at this with everything we've got And you all are on the front lines so are the men and women who you lead and we are very very grateful to all of you All right I'm not grateful to you lady Listen you can do more to stop it And people vote her out But now I want to talk about the bigger the crux of the issue here Drugs aren't the only
How the Lord Told Victor Marx to Go to Iraq Through His Wife
"And it eventually led to the opportunity to go to Iraq when ISIS invaded and started attacking and killing and the lord told me to go through my wife. And I had just come back from Burma and she's like, I think the lord wants you to go to Iraq. And I'm like, no, he doesn't. And we got in a good discussion about it. And I'm like, hey, I still got the mosquito fever right now. I'm not ready to, and she goes, we ought to pray. Have you prayed yet? I'm like, what's that got to do with it? And she said, pray. And I did. I didn't even finish the prayer. The lord said, yeah, you're going to go. And then I put together a team, the mission was to help some girls who had been held captive by ISIS to help them recover from the trauma of it. And this was while ISIS is everywhere. I put together a great team, former SEAL Team guys, delta, some marines, did I say seal? Still team guys, because if there's a picture taken, you got to have a seal. I served in the Marine Corps, so some of you will get that. And put the team together. I said, okay, this is the mission.
Getting to Know Fox News Contributor Joey Jones
"You've lived many lives and I have to. And I think that's a part of being successful is the ability to be malleable. And learn because yeah, I was a bomb tech. I was a marine before that I was a brick and block mason son, which made me a brick and block mason's manual labor. I was the son of alcoholic who was also a perfectionist and had social anxiety. I was the son of a mother who is dedicated to God, but found God through traumas since she was little. She was essentially told to marry a man at 15 and on her wedding night to conceive my sister at 15. And within a few years had to figure it out on her own. And I don't mean to go dark there, but all of those things make us who we are. And growing up, learning how to be you, I needed to be for the people that were raising me because they were hurting in their own way. And learning to see the best part of them day in and day out, even on the tough days. And the best part of them was pretty amazing. I mean, selflessness doesn't even begin to describe them. But there are also moments that they were very selfish and didn't mean to be. And at the end of the day, when it comes to being successful and making it through live, or making it through something like losing your legs, you just got to learn that grace in patients and if I had to learn it at a young age, thank God. You know, we sit here and look at our kids, and we go, man, they're spoiled. They're spooled rotten. They will never have it like we had it. How can we turn them into as good of people? And I think we have to take a step back and say, that's a little bit uppity of ourselves. And say, well, you can only be a good person if you've been through what I've been through. So there's a lot of perspective to be had there. But for me, I grew up really humbly, and I say humbly, just modestly, I guess, is the better word. I grew up in the 1960s single wide. I'm not running for office. That's not what I'm talking about, my mom and dad here, but I grew up in the 1960s, single wide, and watched my parents build a life in the 90s with manual labor. My mom clean houses, my dad laid brick and block, and in the 90s, you know, love him or hate him. The Clinton years were pretty good. Financially or economically here in the south. And so they built the life that way.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Trauma professional and so of course. The coach that she found wasn't a btr coach from betrayal trauma recovery our organization and even though this coach claim to understand betrayal trauma bridge had a terrible experience after trying to help the so-called experts understand her situation over several sessions bridget stop scheduling sessions with her. A lot of so-called professionals throw around the phrase betrayal trauma. But they actually don't know how to help women in session. Some of them even do a great online presentation or youtube video. But once you get in session they start to focus on your part of the problem. They just don't get it when women find so-called betrayal trauma professionals elsewhere not a btr dot org. It's hit and miss and many women come back to us more traumatized because of the experience that they had here at betrayal trauma recovery. Btr dot org. We know how to actually help women arbitrarily trauma recovery group called. Trg for short is a daily online support group so when i say joined betrayal trauma recovery group. I'm not talking about just any betrayal support group out there. I'm talking about our group. The group we run it's only available through. Btr dot org are clinical director coach joy. And i personally trained. Every coach at bt are not that they need much training. They don't join the team in the first place unless they really get it. Our coaches already had a lifetime of experience and training before they even came to us our training ensures that when women scheduled sessions join our group that they have a safe invalidating experience from the very first session. Our group sessions are intended to help victims of emotional and psychological abuse and sexual coercion in the form of their husbands pornography's or infidelity if you're experiencing physical assault or crime of any kind rather than joining group schedule an individual session with coach rene so she can help you navigate your local resources as soon as possible. She even help you navigate reporting. But if you're like a majority of our clients you're experiencing trauma caused by your husband's poor news. Infidelity gas lighting emotional abuse and psychological abuse. You're experiencing the type of abuse that's invisible and difficult to wrap your head around here. It not are. You won't have to convince coaches that you need help. They'll outland clear path to emotional and psychological safety without you having to educate them. They're here to help you. Not the other way around. Our daily online support group has more sessions than any other support group out there. We have over twenty one sessions per week for you to choose from. You don't have to wait for an appointment. You don't have to leave your home. You can join from your closet or your parked car in your garage. We do recommend that the first time that you join join on a desktop or a laptop. It's just easier to navigate it and once you've done it once or twice from your laptop then joining from your phone is simple. Check out the session schedule. A btr dot org. We'd love to see you in a session today. For everyone who has given this podcast a five star rating and perhaps even a review on apple podcasts or other podcasting apps. Thank you so much. If this podcast has helped you win you rate it. You help other women find it so your ratings. Make a big difference. Here's a five star review. We received apple. Podcasts titled lifeline. This podcast has been exactly what i've needed. I spent too much money on counseling when they truly didn't understand the situation. Bt are truly gets it. i feel this. Podcast is empowering and gives the facts about what's really going on so that i can focus on healing. I've joined the group and look forward to more healing and shared experiences with the women. Thank you so much for creating this podcast. Today's episode i have one of betrayal trauma. Recovery coaches coach deborah. She is an amazing part of our teams. She coaches many betrayal trauma. Recovery group sessions as well. As individual sessions and specializes in helping women navigate divorce or assess whether or not they want to take that step and so. I've invited deborah to talk about divorce today. From time to time she runs a workshop of ours. Called your divorce fears. Some of you may have seen that floating around. It fills up quick. So if you see it in you're interested in it. Please sign up fast as you can because we only do it every so often. It says up really fast. Welcome deborah oh happy to be here. Do you have a workshop. That is a three hour workshop with a sixteen page curriculum that you developed and you also work one on one with women in individual sessions and you also talk about divorce in betrayal trauma recovery group in a very limited way in the amount of time that people have their. Why do you think the thought of divorce is so scary for most women. There are so many reasons. they're always individual. But there are three common themes. I usually hear money kids and conflict so very often. Women have money on their mind. They have been helped out of the loop in terms of family finances or their stay at home moms or lower earners and they're really worried about. Can they support themselves. They're often worried about the impact. This is going to have on their children and they're worried about the conflict because we know when we're married to abusers they don't like to be told no so when we say no more i'm done they don't like to take that as an answer. Because that's pretty hard boundary. Were setting then and we have seen with abuse situation usually gets a lot worse before it gets better so that divorce period of actually filing and going through divorce gets really sticky tricky and traumatic for women for a substantial period of time. Yeah but one of the things that i tell clients when we're on the fence and we're working through that decision is sometimes you have to pick your hard because it's also hard to stay married to an abuser. Who's not in recovery. So yes it's going to be hard to go through the divorce process but the alternative of staying in that really. Dysfunctional relationship is hard to the thing that so many women appreciate about betrayal trauma. Recovery services is our goal is to give women information and then to validate and support them. So there's never gonna be a time when someone comes to be our where we say you have to get divorced right. That's what you have to do and just suck it up and do it. We like to give women the education that they need. Give them their options and then help them assess. What's right for them. Can you talk about how you as a coach support women through making their own decisions and helping. Validating support their experience. That's the.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Books. That books page also has a curated list of all of the books that we recommend. my book. trauma has been drama. Is a picture book for adults so it is the easiest way for you to explain what's going on to someone who might not understand it. It's also just a good reference for yourself because shows what's happening very telling an emotional illustrations as well as infographics at the back. When you go to our books page and click on any of those books it just takes you directly to amazon and you can throw those books in your cart. After you have purchased the book. Please remember to circle back around. Amazon and right a verified purchase review along with a five star rating that helps isolated women. Find us at bumps trauma. Mama has been drama up in the amazon algorithm. And even if women don't purchase the book it helps them find this podcast which is free to everyone. Here's a five star review. We received on amazon. It says betrayal trauma simplified. This book is simple yet. Validating it does a good job of painting a quick picture of what a betrayed woman sees and feels when her husband is using pornography. I'd like it short and simple. Because just after i experienced trauma i literally could not read paragraphs of information. I think i could have handled this and it comes with very useful guides and help in the back of the book and points you in the direction of support which is so needed when dealing with this problem. Thank you so much for your review when you purchase the book. Trauma has been drama on amazon. Please circle back and leave a review. I love reading them. Especially when i have a hard day. Sometimes it's like. Oh this is maybe why i went through. This is so that. I could share my experience and help other people out. It really helps isolated. Women find us when they find the book. Trauma mama has been drawn on amazon. Even if they don't buy it helps them find this podcast which.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"It's one of the reasons. Why as an advocate. My job is to make that as safe as humanly possible to help someone do that in have that view but only with a sense of safety how to do it in a way that's not going to increase their risk or at least unnecessarily so one of the things that i think a least listeners to this podcast type of abuse that they experience a lot is gas lighting. Complying with gas. lighting is like thinking. Well am i the crazy one or do i really have the problem or maybe this is just me. Maybe it isn't a big deal. Part of not complying in the face of gas lighting would be really going with your gut trusting yourself and being willing to say you know. Even though he's telling me this just doesn't feel right or doesn't seem right. What are your thoughts about victims. Not complying with gas lighting with gas lighting. The way to combat manipulation is with truth and truth is just simply being honest with myself about myself my situation so part when you say go with your gut the way i would refer to. That is if you are feeling something that you'd be honest with yourself about that feeling. Something in this feels wrong. I'm confused there something going on here. That doesn't make sense. This doesn't feel true. And i need to figure that out. The best way to not comply is to grab hold of what is true. Hang onto for all your worth. Because the key to gas lighting is that it makes you doubt what is true makes you doubt what is real if an abuser can actually accomplish that then they can do whatever they want. And you don't believe your own eyes if they can get you to the point where you don't even trust your own perception than they have successfully undermined your own ability even deal with the abuse so if using to comply with that kind of manipulation just says no. I know what happened to me. I know how it happened. I know that you did it. And that's just the truth. And it's that clinging to truth which is going to be the refusal to comply if our listeners take. Anything is that manipulation. Isn't abuse tactic in. It is possible to not comply with that in that way because so much of the abuse that our listeners experience is this covert sort of non aggressive but sneaky manipulative types of abuse rather than overt stuff. That's really obvious. One of the things that happens with that covert manipulative kind of abuse. Tactic is that the victim gets in the habit of managing the abuser. That requires a suspense. Of what is true of the situation for them in that process of trying to manage the abuser. One of the things. That's very handy is to say. That's not going to be what i'm going to do any more. I'm not managing that. This is what's true. And i'm not going to pass to that. The only thing i would say in that regard is when you actually put that wall. That says no. This is true. What you're saying is not true. And i am not going to be going down that road with you. That can be a escalating event. And so you do want to be very cautious and make sure that whatever decisions you're making you're doing from a position of safety so that you're not putting yourself in harm's way in the process i'm gonna take a break here for just a second to talk about my book. Trauma has been drama. You can find it on our books. Page btr dot org slash.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"And so i think that's what we're looking for is is their character the character of manipulative kindness or exploitation of privilege or is it genuine care and protection for you. Coach joy and i have had a lot of conversations about the term entitlement. We know that one of the four pillars of abuse. You can find this info graphic in the back of my book. Trauma husband drama. You can also kind of see that four pillars of abuse floating around on instagram on instagram. Where we are at betrayal trauma recovery and facebook pages betrayal trauma recovery and one of the four pillars of abuses entitlement. But coach joy was like this is not a strong enough word. We need a stronger word..
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Books. That books page also has a curated list of all of books that we recommend my book. Trauma has been drama is a picture book for adults so it is the easiest way for you to explain what's going on to someone who might not understand it. It's also just a good reference for yourself because it shows what's happening with very telling an emotional illustrations as well as infographics at the back. When you go to our books page and click on any of those books it just takes you directly to amazon and you can throw those books in your cart. After you have purchased the book. Please remember to circle back around. Amazon and right a verified purchase review along with a five star rating that helps isolated women. Find us at bumps trauma. Mama has been drama up in the amazon algorithm. And even if women don't purchase the book it helps them find this podcast which is free to everyone and now back to the interview. You're absolutely right. And but not only that but part of his work to do is to learn to care about the impact he has had on someone else and if she's muzzled and not allowed to share the impact of how that's harmed her because it hurt his feelings or upsets him than he never learns to manage his own feelings of shame or his own understanding of shame. And how that can lead us to good. Things could lead us to repentance. A saying i don't want to ever feel that feeling again. I don't want to ever look in your eyes again of the pain caused so that helps me to not do this again. But instead they're sort of muzzling wife's emotional reaction sorted husband doesn't feel the normal pain he should feel when we harm someone we love. Yeah it's almost scary..
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"An. I have wendy hernandez back on today's episode. If you didn't hear last week go back there. I listen to that conversation and then join us here so those of you who are in betrayal trauma recovery group. Thank you thank you. Thank you when you joined betrayal trauma recovery group. We're here for you. You never have to wait for an appointment. You can join win. You need to join the first time join. We recommend that you joined from a laptop or from a desktop computer is easier to navigate the website and figure out how group sessions work then after you know how they work then. Joining from a phone is easy..
"trauma" Discussed on Let's Talk About It with Taylor Nolan
"To hold me and you know in this day and it's like we know more now and i wish that this could be applied universally to everybody That it's the first skin-to-skin contact while i can. Skin contact is really key and this is obviously not actually new knowledge. It's probably old. Yeah well knowledge feels like feels like that makes sense you know. of course. of course that would be good break right and it's really important for the baby and show. That probably did not happen for me. And my mom also said something really mysterious. The other day around how the doctors wouldn't let them cmih later. I don't know what that meant because she doesn't remember that well it's been a long time ago so it just but overall it sounded like probably less than ideal circumstances totally and that would make a lot of sense for you know that that trauma around attachments and perhaps even wanting to seek that and i'm in my head. I'm just connecting that like intense relationships the one on one intense relationships like having a having a craving for that almost. Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah yeah dang. Yeah well and i think that the so much of what we're talking about has been what has been the driver for me to come back to creative writing You'd ask about that in the beginning. And there's just so much of this this processing that i've been doing around my own pain and make trying to make sense of it that has needed to come out somehow and writing has been the most. I'd say deep way that i've been able to do that. Because i'm also a musician but i feel like that brings out other things and satisfies other needs but in terms of the really being able to dig into all these layers around chronic pain and the relationship between pain and trauma and mental health and healing rating has been the most important process for for that. Yeah and i wanna get into a little bit of this phrase. That i feel like. Maybe you're creating that. I've never heard before and so i'm going to attribute it to just like this is your phrase but i i love it. You have this phrase of trauma informed intelligence and tq. Yeah yeah. yeah that's i just. I don't even though. I knew that that i'm playing around with because sometimes i call it. T q sometimes. I call it trauma. Iq but it is really the driving force behind this manuscript. That i'm writing which is a memoir of my own illness but more so a memoir about embodied history and historical trauma and anybody who's written a booker has the urge. sharada book can probably identify with this..
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Yeah <Speech_Female> <SpeakerChange> <Silence> <Speech_Male> <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> <hes> i've seen <Speech_Female> that happen to. <Speech_Female> It's really interesting. <Speech_Female> Even a couple of <Speech_Female> friends that we had <Speech_Female> that her husband <Speech_Female> is <SpeakerChange> also <Silence> a porn user <Speech_Female> have decided <Speech_Female> to side with my <Speech_Female> ex <Speech_Female> and i just think <Speech_Female> that's really interesting but <Speech_Female> they're still married so <Silence> i wonder if they think <Speech_Female> well <Speech_Female> if we talk <Speech_Female> to an you know. <Speech_Female> She's so <Speech_Female> intent on calling <Speech_Female> this abuse. Maybe <Speech_Male> our <Speech_Male> marriage would be in <Speech_Male> jeopardy so <Speech_Female> we don't really want to go down <Speech_Male> that route. I i'm <Speech_Male> not sure why they've <Speech_Male> decided to do that. But <Speech_Male> he's still exhibiting <Silence> abusive behaviors <Speech_Female> from my <Speech_Female> perspective. But of course <Speech_Female> they can't see <Speech_Female> that. <Speech_Female> So i'm like <Speech_Female> why would you want to be friends <Speech_Female> with an abuser. <Speech_Female> That it makes no sense <Silence> to me but <Speech_Female> right <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Female> and <Speech_Female> also. I think we <Speech_Female> can clearly see that. <Speech_Female> They're lying and manipulating <Speech_Female> people. <SpeakerChange> But <Speech_Female> they can't see it <Speech_Female> no and <Speech_Female> you know there's <Speech_Female> a part of me that has little <Speech_Female> sympathy for <Speech_Female> a third party people. <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> I believed <Speech_Female> my husband's lies <Speech_Female> for years <Speech_Music_Female> My whole <Speech_Female> ship was <SpeakerChange> based <Silence> on lies. <Silence> Yep <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> well and if we couldn't <Speech_Female> see it right <Speech_Female> then my they <Speech_Female> don't even live with him <Speech_Female> so of course it would be <Speech_Female> hard for them to see to <Speech_Female> write <Silence> these good at lying <Speech_Male> <Speech_Female> Good manipulation <Speech_Female> get a good at grooming <Speech_Female> really <Silence> early <Silence> <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Female> so a lot <Speech_Female> of women <Speech_Female> who are hoping that <Speech_Female> their relationship <Speech_Male> is going to workout <Speech_Female> and hoping <Speech_Female> that once <Speech_Female> confronted about <Speech_Female> his abusive behaviors <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> that he can <Speech_Female> get into some <Speech_Female> program and get <Speech_Female> help and if <Speech_Female> they go down <Speech_Female> the pornography addiction recovery <Speech_Female> route <Speech_Female> many cease <Speech_Male> hats. Do <Speech_Male> what is known. As a full <Speech_Male> disclosure <Speech_Male> where the abuser <Speech_Male> is supposed <Speech_Male> to <Speech_Male> outline all <Speech_Male> of his <Speech_Female> indiscretions <Speech_Female> but doesn't necessarily <Speech_Male> include <Speech_Male> all abuse <Speech_Male> episodes. <Speech_Female> So <Speech_Female> since you went down <Speech_Female> that route for a little <Speech_Female> while did you ever <Speech_Female> have a quote <Speech_Female> unquote full disclosure <Speech_Female> with the help of a pornography <Silence> <Advertisement> addiction <SpeakerChange> specialist <Silence> <Advertisement> <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> now. Unfortunately <Silence> <Advertisement> i did not <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> <Speech_Female> anything that i <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> found out <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> about. My husband was <Speech_Female> either me finding <Speech_Female> out by <Silence> catching him <Speech_Female> or <Speech_Female> him. <Speech_Female> Over the years <Speech_Female> basically <Speech_Female> drip beating <Speech_Female> me information. <Speech_Female> And i would <SpeakerChange> figure <Speech_Female> things out <Speech_Female> you <Speech_Female> say unfortunately. <Speech_Male> Is that something that you <Speech_Male> think <Speech_Male> would have helped do <Speech_Female> or <SpeakerChange> what did you <Speech_Female> say. Unfortunately <Speech_Female> well i guess <Speech_Female> i say unfortunately <Speech_Female> because <Speech_Female> without any <Speech_Female> truth <Silence> there is no <Speech_Female> basis <Speech_Female> for your relationship <Speech_Female> and i <Silence> <Advertisement> never received truth. <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> So <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Female> that's part of <Speech_Female> the reason. Remain <Speech_Female> reason why <Speech_Female> <SpeakerChange> my marriage <Silence> fell apart. <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> It was just <Silence> <Advertisement> never <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> bound <Silence> to make it from the get-go <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> but <Speech_Female> if i had some truth <Speech_Female> at some point <Speech_Female> if he was truthful <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> with me i felt like <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> feel like maybe <Silence> we
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"My situation. I was somebody being mistreated in a in a marriage where pornography was used and that was part of it. I never really wanted to go to marriage counseling. For some reason. I knew in my gut. It was not a marriage issue. I knew it was important issue and his problem from his his childhood. So i was grateful for that but it was really hard to find help. When did you find here. I think i found it probably about a year. And a half ago maybe two years ago just happened to find a feature on line and solve their podcast and religiously started to listen because it was the only place that really got. What did you think after years of the help him be gentle with him because he's has his childhood problems you know. Let's try not to trigger am. Don't shame him. You know those types of are you a good wife for you giving him sex when he needs it. You know whatever things you got. What did you think after coming to be. Tr in listening. What did that feel like for you. I guess i just felt like there was a place that stood what it really was and i knew that it was just the right place to be to get the information that i needed to educate myself so a lot of this. I knew but i didn't really educate myself until after ali separated from my husband. It's like you know it in your gut but you don't have words for it. You don't have a place to process it appropriately because if you try to process it with like the pornography addiction people and they tell you know it's you and you need to be patient or whatever it halts you're processing right kind of stops you and so you can't quite ever. It's like floating around but you can't ever grab it. It's like foggy and you can't quite get out of that fog right..
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Why don't you start with your backstory. What was your situation. So i guess from day one of my marriage. I just felt like something. Just wasn't right and i could never put my finger on it. We were i thought happily married had a child and then her surely after my second child was born i just ahead a feeling that something wasn't right and i found out unfortunately that my husband was into pornography and that was just devastating. I just felt like everything was over. Although i didn't want and the marriage i just felt like my perfect world with my newer marriage. My children are are sweet. Little family was just ruined. It just was not what i thought it was and we immediately tried to get help. He unfortunately was lying to me about the cause of his use of pornography. He blamed it on my pregnancy. With my first and second child i later found out that he was addicted to porn. Since he was a child he was about eight years old when he started a long story. Short many years down the road found out that he was sexually abused by brethren cousin as well so it just for years went on him dabbling in help never getting real help or getting recovery. And i just kept with it trying to stay strong trying to stay in the marriage. I never even really thought about leaving the marriage but we just kept going and we had our good times and our bad times and when things were bad they were very bad. Things were good sometimes but it was really not much to hold onto so we went on like this for probably fourteen fifteen years until we started to get help together and through working with them over about two year period. I started to see and they also start to see that my husband just did not want to do the work together better so they had to stop working with him which then made us pretty much come.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Welcome to betrayal trauma recovery. This is an we have kathleen who is a member of our community on.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Betrayal trauma recovery group when you join. You're going to see a few changes because we have had exponential demand due to our incredible coaches and the incredible community that it is we have had to evolve a little bit to ensure that we keep you safe that we have the best group sessions in the world. And one of those ways is that we are recommending now. The women attend no more than one group a day. A lot of reasons for this. I did not anticipate when we were like. You can go multiple times a day if you want the coaching staff and me as the podcast or we did not anticipate that many many many women would attend more than one group a day continually like in perpetuity. Like all the time. I thought that perhaps one or two women might do that. You know on a really hard day but in total that it wouldn't be something that women made a habit of and so we've had to adjust that a little bit. There's other minor adjustments. The cool thing. Is you still have more than twenty one sessions to choose from. It's very flexible. So when you join just remember were having to evolve and we'll have to evolve again in the future to meet your needs to make sure that our mission here betrayal trauma recovery to help every single woman in the world get real by support face to face with someone who cares and someone who understands. It continues one of the issues with running. Such a large organization is that we do need to make changes from time to time. But i pre record all of the podcast episodes then we load them all up and it's really is impossible for me to go back and change all of the intros to them. I'm trying to figure out a way to put the same intro on everything and then i can change it every week. I have not figured that out yet. But i'm genuinely trying to figure that out and that way i can always keep all of the announcements up to date but embarrassingly. We made some of these changes but for the next. i don't know six to eight episodes. It's the way that i said it. Before so i don't want to confuse anyone. We still are here for you. We still offer mawr groups than anyone else. It's still an amazing experience. But just know that i can't change that back so that's why i wanted to do this. A little announcement. I really appreciate your support. And your patients and the coaches appreciate your support. Just a heads up on that know that we love you and we care and we make these changes for you the thing. That's the same. Is that when you join betrayal trauma recovery group. We're here for you. You never have to wait for an appointment. You can join win. You need to join the first time you joined. We recommend that you join from a laptop or from a desktop computer is easier to navigate the website and figure out how group sessions work. Then after you know how they work then. Joining from phone is easy or smack dab in the middle of summer so many of you are on vacation and you thought it would be fun. You thought it would be a good time for the family and then it turned out to be super traumatic awful and you had to put on a good face for your mother-in-law or whatever and it just goes very bad and you need help we are here for you. We created betrayal trauma recovery group. Because all of us had the experience of having some super traumatic thing happened and we couldn't get in to our therapists for like two weeks and that was just too much time. Even though we're recommending no more than one group a day it's still only a few hours usually because we have so.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Tina's within is the author of divorcing a narcissist and founder of the high conflict divorce coach certification program. Tina continues to champion children's rights through her family court advocacy. She is working to raise awareness of the issues in the family court system and educate the general public on post separation abuse and narcissistic abuse. Tina is married and resides in san luis obispo california with her husband and two daughters. Welcome tina thank you so much for having me. I am absolutely honored to be here. I love your stuff. Read it all heard so many interviews and so impressed with you and so sorry for what you had to go through. Of course our audience is of women who are going through similar situations. So we're all in this together so who listen to this. Podcast are generally at the beginning of their journey of the abuse so for example they may have found porn on a computer or they may suspect has been having an affair or something like that something kind of more tangible than i would say narcissism might maybe they find porn which is different than maybe thinking is my husband nurses or maybe they find out about a lie and they're not really thinking divorce yet at this point. They're thinking well. Maybe we need to go to therapy. Or what's wrong with him. Or maybe if i can figure out if he has a personality disorder what it is. Maybe we can get some help. And the reason why i wanted to interview is because i want women to be thinking long term that regardless of whether they've decided to divorce right now or they're kind of considering it or thinking about it or sort of mulling it over or perhaps trying to avoid it but again. What are some things that they need to consider so that they can be prepared long term. It's sort of like having a savings account right. You know you never want to lose your job but you have a savings account just in case you do. Can we start there with some things that like. You wish you would have known years before you even recognized. The your husband was in our assist. Absolutely and i. I want to say because i relate to the foundation of your program so much and my situation it wasn't porn but it was a some a similar infidelity of sorts. I discovered that he had a mistress and that was
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Before we talk about it falling apart during this pornography addiction recovery period of time. Can you talk about what you did to try. And establish safety and peace talk about during that time how you're sure making this effort right to love and serve and forgiven. Support him in whatever you need to do to help him with addiction. When do you start kind of realizing this is not working or maybe you don't maybe don't realize it until it does fall apart. I dunno talk about that. I think it was a slow process. Erodes probably the best way to describe it. It erodes your not necessarily any road my faith in god. It eroded my faith in him. I think it wasn't necessarily the porn that did it. It was the lies that it takes to keep the porn alive. There's lot allies financial lies. Where were you lies. The bus was quote unquote. Late or traffic was always super heavy. You know and he'd get home really late hour hour and a half past the time because he would pull over and watch porn. I don't think i had peace. Maybe pieces around the corner if we go to this camp. Maybe we'll have peace if we pray more. Maybe we'll have peace. Was that kind of place. I think for a long time it was this. We're in this together. You've got this. Let's pray let's make sure that were being careful about what's going to be on tv. We downloaded apps lake since media. That would take things out. Swear words and scenes and as long as we kept year. I on the pri- is a lot of my effort. Went into that. And i do remember saying this much later. Was that one of the faults that i realized i started doing. Was i got in the holy spirit's way as long as i created a perfect environment for him. You know sun moon and stars everything rising aligned. Then he wouldn't be stressed because that was one of the things he said is i. Don't go look at porn. Because i wanna look at these women porn started when i was seventeen. It became this salve or this balm for rejection. Anytime i feel rejected or stress to my life porn won't reject me so i'm going to go to it. I thought if i created this viramune of perfection than he wouldn't do that. That's why i say i had piece. I was just constantly like running and keeping everything perfect straight. I view those reasons why they use porn now not as an actual reason but as a way to manipulate us to make us feel sorry for them because there could be someone else who didn't have peace as a kid and they didn't look at porn you know so they don't give you some sob story. You know what i mean and now it's like wow i did not realize that all the ways he elicited by compassion which was not legitimate. It was actually him manipulating me into managing him and to feel sorry for him. And not hold them accountable. And it's hard to recognize to admit to ourselves how we played into that manipulation rather than setting boundaries. Oh absolutely there. So many times that i would feel this compassion. He would be standing there talking about how he because also what came on board in the midst of all. This was a mental illness diagnosis Okay so in the midst of all this came a suicide attempt then several weeks at hospital for therapies and a diagnosis and medication. Okay so this is also making you of feel sorry for him. I'm sure yes yes. He's mentally ill. this is why he struggles. he's week he needs me the step up to plate. I'm going to have to take on. Some of the stresses help with some of the finances and this kind of stuff to keep kids quiet. Don't let them be too rowdy when he gets home from work. You know he needs the things to be quiet. He doesn't like things to be out of control. Or whatever so yeah. I didn't have peace until i laughed.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Most of human history women really didn't have much power. I mean they weren't counted as as you were saying before human. You literally treated as property. You can't vote. You have no say in how the laws actually written that affect you results in a terrible terrible experience from women and girls. But i would say that it's not healthy for boys and men either like it's not what god intended it also sets. These really strict define gender roles. I don't think that they're helpful to men either. Even though man. I believe they are a creation of men. I don't think that that's even very helpful for them. Is comfortable for them because it was made to be over but it's still not the way they got intended it right well and you think about the so. You've got the a class that's in charge men right and they're able to define these roles and so they want to define the situation. That is the most comfortable for them. Not for other people and so they're telling women well. You would be most comfortable if you acted like this and if you did this rather than letting the women have voice the most logical way of doing it. Let's say in a partnership with a husband wife would be okay. We're going to get married. What's sit down and talk about each of our talents. What are the things we really enjoy. And what are the things were good at. So i might say. I'm really good at yard work. I'm excellent gardening. I love being outdoors. i'm not so good at cooking and organizing food that's just not one of my talents is also not something. I'm super interested in right. And then he would say okay. These are the things that i like. I also like being outdoors. I also like doing yard work. Great we can do that together. And i also don't like cooking at that point where there's this thing that's like we both don't like cooking. Then the answer is not what. You're the girl so you have to do it right. Answer to that is Interesting neither of us really like it that much. How are we going to manage these household tasks that need to be done. The other thing that i've been thinking of lately you can work and be a mom. I'm not saying that you should. A lot of women really would prefer to stay at home and they should have that right right. We want to protect women's ability to choose the kind of life that they want. And if you're talking about household tasks a lot of people are capable of holding job and being a parent and taking a shower right and doing their laundry and eating so this idea that there's this thing that women must do and they have to be in charge of basic household tasks like laundry and cooking and cleaning and stuff like that because a human isn't capable of doing basic self care things and and having talents and exploring their talents and doing anything else is ridiculous but everyone should be free to be able to explore their own talents and what they're good at and what they're interested in and also be able to do regular household tasks the entire epitome of that person should not be just basic household tasks right and if both the husband and the wife approached marriage in that way approach life in that way then they can work that out together and form some kind of equilibrium but forcing people into these very specific gendered roles like there are plenty of men who don't feel comfortable being shoehorned in that way either. They don't know how to use a hammer are they. Don't know how to fix the air conditioner. And so what do you do you call you. Call any see guy to come fix your air conditioner. But then to say to a woman. Well you're a woman and so you should be forced to cook as like no. You're not forcing me to fix air conditioner. So what can we do to like work this out. I'm not saying you hire a cook. I'm just saying there are so many other options for people if they're willing to accept that people have certain talents certain interests and the people don't have certain talents and certain interests and to look at it on an individual basis. That seems to be more in line. With what god wants for us. Because he's created each of us as individuals with talents to do his work. He hasn't just said all women the only purpose that you have unearthed is to make sure that your family gets fed right right and then we go if you get beyond like the few decades of a woman's life when her children are young at home and she has these traditional household duties to be like once you move beyond that even women talk about feeling empty. Like where's my purpose any more. How sad is that. My my mom. She's only worked outside of the home for a very short amount of time. But she's very handy like she knows how to tile and she's a kitchen designer and she does electrical and plumbing and all kinds of things and she remodeled our house a ton and she's helping me remodeled my house right now in fact that is what the construction you can hear in the background of. You've heard any of my mom is out hammering and finishing my basement right now so has she fulfilled her own like dreams and talents and things that she's interested in. She's super interested in construction. She loves it is she. The best person at making dinner every night and the answer to that is no. She's really not by great at that. That's not one of her talents but that doesn't make her a bad mom. She's an excellent amazing mom and she loves construction and i'm really grateful that even if she didn't work in the construction industry that she's been able to will to explore her talents even not working outside the home so i'm not trying to say that women have to do it in a certain way or a way. They feel uncomfortable with but having a man. Look at you and say well you have to clean the toilet because that's your job because you're a woman is crazy. It is can be anyone strong. Yeah she talks a lot about this in chapter six patron seen spiritual midwives and biblical womanhood. Bill call and will because the idea. it's not. let's see this working outside the home. She says the phenomenon of being a stay at home mother is relatively new and unique to the prosperous right along with daycares to provide childcare. It's a mark of our privilege to be able to decide or to make adjustments to our household budget to keep one parent and full time with the children. I believe that it is worthy pursuit. Good work holy work. I hope so. It's my own daily work but it's not the same thing as biblical woman at is if the title can't be enjoyed by a woman in haiti or even by the woman healed and scripture the same way i can buy a middle class woman canada than biblical womanhood must be more than this tracy and i are going to continue this conversation next week. So stay tuned in the meantime. We appreciate your support to support this. Podcast scroll down to the bottom of our website. Btr dot org and click on support the podcast and until next week. Stay safe out there..
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"To them being abused and exploited for entertainment or sexual gratification. So limassol janie. Peace cannot be ignored by really appreciated. Sarah essy's books. I've invited tracy back to talk about feminism within this context. Let's start there. You interjected which is fantastic and said the radical idea of feminism means. That women are human. Can you talk more about that. First of all just my own experience growing up was very much what you just described. It was an absolute aversion to the word to the point that i never did. I need due diligence and even learning about it. I just accepted that it was a bad thing. Feminism was a bad thing. I grew up hearing the word. Feminazi used by people to me which is a really really derogatory. Mean mean thing to say. I just didn't even in my adulthood. When i started opening myself up a little bit to some ideas. Feminism i thought is there another term we can use. Is there another terms or not a word we can use But but now i have come to embrace and love the word I do consider myself a feminist. Not as a feminist for myself a radical feminist. Let's see what sarah bessie says about it. She says pg thirteen of her books she says. Feminism is complicated and varies for each person much like christianity. It's not necessary to subscribe to all the diverse and contrary opinions within feminism to call oneself a feminist feminism gained popularity as a result of secular work and scholarship but the line between sacred and secular is manmade. Because god is the source of truth. Christians can still give thanks to god for the good works associated with feminism such as the gaining a status for women as persons under the law voting owning property and themselves in a court of law against domestic violence and rape as canadian theologian. John d. stackhouse junior says christian feminists can celebrate any sort of feminism that brings more justice and human flourishing to the world. No matter who is bringing it since we recognize the hand of god in all that is good modern christian feminism is alive and well from social justice movements to seminaries and churches to suburban living rooms worldwide at the core feminism simply consists of the radical notion. That women are people too. I was talking with someone about it. They were really uncomfortable about the word feminist and they said well. I just don't want it to swing too far. And i said the pendulum cannot swing too far on equality like what we always have to keep women a little bit below men know. It can swing as far as it needs to swing. Currently speaking women are not believed. Women are not taken seriously when they experienced this extreme victim hood. They are blamed for it. There is no ability for the oppressed class. That would be women to. It's basically like if we talk about. It be shouldn't talk about it in that way if we complain about it. We're complaining about it too much if we stay silent about it. We were in denial. There's no way right now to appropriately. Protest it without being blamed in some way right because it sounds radikal. Yeah it sounds extreme right. Oh this word abuse. It's not that extreme. And you're like no that's actually what it is. And i'm not being extreme. Yeah the pendulum can't swing far enough. As far as i'm concerned. I don't think that it can go too far. When it comes to equality so until women have the ability to be equal literally equal as equally relieved as equally understood as equally taken seriously. The pendulum has not strong enough. I agree allah. What sarah bessie says. She names one of her chapters. Jesus made a feminist out of me. And i'm like me till meteo. This was part of the transformation the post traumatic growth. It was tapping into this truth that society had been suppressing at me for most of my life leading up to that point. She also talks about that moment on. Page one eleven. She says he's talking about a cult experience for herself which has had to do with pregnancy. But for me. It was betrayal trauma. She says but the truth remains regardless of the circumstances unique to us. The voice of god has a habit of breaking through the noise of our lives giving us a turning point an epochs so that we mark the rest of our lives differently from that moment on when we talk about these moments in our lives we begin our stories with the words and then everything changed and that was vitriol drama. And i'm a feminist now. Jesus made of eminence adamy. That was a natural result of healing in my life to take a break for a second to read a review. That came in on apple podcasts. I love hearing from you. So if you're so inclined. Please leave a review on apple podcasts or other podcasting apps because every single review that you leave especially your comments helps isolated. Women find us. This woman said my eyes were opened for years. I thought my husband now ex had a sex addiction. The pain and suffering myself and my children have experienced is catastrophic. It was not until. I listen to this podcast that i learned that we are abused survivors calling it abuse instead of addiction has been a game changer for my healing emma children's healing. It has been crucial because now we get the types of resources we need. The sex addiction route left us feeling more wounded. And more abused. It was like we really didn't matter. Only he mattered now. We understand that safety is the most important goal and then my is an abuser. Who has sexually physically mentally and emotionally abused us for years. I think ubt for doing the hard work of getting this message to the public and like to think this woman for sharing her thoughts and grateful for her. Please help us get this message to every woman who needs to hear it by sharing this podcast on social media also commenting with your stories on these podcast episodes on our website. If you go to bt are dot org you can find this episode and share your story. Share your thoughts about feminism or questions that you have or anything that you want to share. You can share them on our website. We so appreciate when you tag us or when you link to us on any social media platform it really does help woman who isolated find us. Okay now back to our conversation for women who are uncomfortable with this word feminist. I want you to think about. Why won't you to consider the term feminazi right or the gas lighting. That has taken place that would say feminists are bad and exactly what about that is causing that issue. Who is telling you. Feminists feminist vast. What is that about. Because i think if you really think about it. You'll realize this gas lighting effect by society in general and also men in general to try and say no women cannot be equal to men is because it's a disruption of the status quo and that makes people uncomfortable also it infringes on power structures as they are. It's a threat to turkey. I agree though with sarah. When she says patriarch is not got stream for humanity. It took me a while to come to that for a while even after i was beginning to embrace feminism i still was like but is there a way they like to make it. Work within patriarch user way that patriots still the right way and like we just have to tweak this or tweak dot and ultimately no i believe that patriarchy is a result of the fall. I that's not how god intended for men and women to interact with each other. And when you say pay turkey the hierarchy. Yeah yeah. Men are in charge. Legally they make the loss spiritually or religiously rather and they're the organizers of the structure of society and for.
"trauma" Discussed on Betrayal Trauma Recovery
"Welcome to betrayal trauma. This an i have tracy back on. Today's episode. We're going to talk about jesus feminist. Which is a book by. Sarah bessie and how sarah bessie contends and lear. Contending as well that you can be a christian and follow a savior and also be a feminist which is a little bit of a radical idea. But we're going to be talking about that today before we get to that. I had a woman talk about her experience with my book. Trauma mama husband drama which is available on our website at btr dot org backslash books our website btr dot org slash books. If you go there that's just a curated list of books that we recommend if you click on those books it just takes you right to amazon so it's not like you won't be at amazon anyway but at least you can say all the books that we recommend all in one spot so go checkout page. See all the books that we recommend a woman posted about her experience with trauma has drama and this is what she said. I'm actually not reading it word for word to protect your identity. This is what she said. I ordered and received. An flights trauma has been drama. But to days ago. I showed it to my husband. He was literally shocked to see how much it resembled our life together. He tried to see if he could play it off a tiny bit and wanted to know if i got it from church. That's been one of his excuses before that. I wouldn't feel this way. If i wasn't brainwashed by turkey stuff when i told him i ordered it from a site for abused women. He got real quiet. He said that it showed him what i've been saying. It wasn't just me overreacting whether he chooses to change or not. It helped me validate my experiences with him to him. Which is what. I've been searching for very grateful for that chance. I showed him the abuse cycle circle in the back of the book and again he got kind of quiet. It looked like he had this realization of sorts of what he was doing to me for the past twelve years. Because it wasn't just me calling it abuse. He said i was overreacting exaggerated and just playing making up. But now there was proof that it was all actual abuse in an actual visible cycle of actions. That he knows he does. I didn't think anything would get him to understand. Even the teniente amount but this book really helped he just kept saying. That's us in that book. It's like they made it for us. He even brought it up with a church leader saying that up until now he believed that i was just making things up and complaining but that now he sees that what he was doing was abusive so now he seems to be having his eyes opened. So we'll see. I guess of course like all of us. She's not sure what to make of this and if he really does understand it or not or just confronted with it he had to admit it and who knows what will happen in the future but that's one woman's experience sharing the book trauma. Mama has been drama with her abusive husband. It's not necessarily something i recommend. I recommend that women rather than try to get their abuser to stop that they get to safety. That is what. I would recommend this this woman's experience and i wanted to share it with you The reason why it's so dangerous to try and help your abuser understand. His abusiveness is because it could put you in danger for further abuse. So that's a tricky situation at the same time. All of us have tried that all of us have tried saying to the man in our lives who abuse of. Hey this is what you're doing to me. Can you please stop so in her. Experience trauma has been drama. Really helped and we don't know what the long term implications of that will be who i do recommend it for though as clergy or family or friends who have a hard time wrapping their head around the fact that this is an abuse issue and this is abuse scenario that it's not a pornography addiction problem. It's not a communication problem or a problem that can be solved in couple therapy to pick up your copy of trauma husband drama. Go to btr. Dot org backslash books. I have great news about betrayal trauma. Recovery group we recently added to news sessions so depending on your time zone will depend on when those sessions are for you so go to our website. Btr dot org and click on. Join the group to see updated session schedule. Were excited about offering these new sessions. We do add sessions from time to time as more women joined because we wanna make sure that there's availability. My goal in the long run is to have so many sessions that women can get into a supportive safe nurturing group online within a couple of hours in every single time zone. So that's my goal eventually. We're not quite there. But we do provide more sessions and give more support to victims of emotional abuse psychological abuse and sexual coercion than any other organization. So again go to. Btr dot org to see the session schedule and we'd love to see you in a session today. Okay now tracy. And i are going to have a discussion about the concepts. We learned in the book. Jesus feminist sarah bessie. Welcome back. tracy thank you. We're gonna talk about jesus feminist a little bit so many women and men have this negative feeling of the word feminist. It just fills wrong. Like i don't wanna use that term. I don't really like it. A lot of them is because of their religious leanings. They feel uncomfortable because of parts in the bible that talk about how women need to submit to their husbands or other factors. There's some other. Societal factors that have made women feel uncomfortable. About the word feminist. I would say that betrayal trauma recovery is a women's empowerment organization into me. The word feminists simply means that women have equal rights. The women are seen as human yet. Radical idea that women are humans to yeah this radical crazy idea. Yeah good point that women are humans to they have rights and feelings and they deserve to be heard and taken seriously. I think it's really important to talk about this. Because the heart of abuse is men's entitlement to a few things number one men's entitlement to women's bodies that they're entitled to be able to use women's bodies how they choose to and they don't really have to answer to any other woman for their sexual misbehavior or the compulsive sexual acts that they're sort of entitled to be able to use their sexuality in any way they choose and it's not hurting anybody because apparently their wife isn't human cause. I don't get why she so upset about my poor news when it comes to abuse and sexual acting out and sexual coercion. The misogyny peace cannot be ignored. It's not something that we can take separately. This isn't a man who respects women in general and has this view of women as equals who is able to abuse women both their own wife and also abuse women by masturbating.