20 Episode results for "Tom Lennon"

Tom Lennon Returns

ID10T with Chris Hardwick

1:36:37 hr | 1 year ago

Tom Lennon Returns

"Welcome eight hundred number ten eleven. If you're in the Dallas Specifically Addison Area July Twenty six twenty seven I'll be at the Addison Improv <hes> and ticks her at I._D.. Ten T. DOT com slash tour. There's a direct link there and then artist eight nine ten. I'll be in Raleigh North Carolina at good night's comedy club or good night's. come go over the emphasis in their good night's feel like it's good night's good night's Comedy Club also oh I D ten T. dot com slash tour <hes> let's talk about the idea tend T- Community Cork Board and this is from Michael who says <hes> I co wrote and produced a short film along with my friend Nick that is called the Laura. It's about a single mother training to be a NASA astronaut and has to make a choice between going on the mission of a lifetime in outer space and the level for child that she would have to leave behind will be screening it Saturday July twenty seven four ten pm during the Fort Worth Indie film showcase case we recently won best space travel film at the sci-fi at the CY on Film Festival in Reno Nevada first runner up in the Best Texas short film at the Denton Black Film Festival congratulations for more information about the film including behind the scenes photos trailers screening Info follow follow a Laura Film L. A. Film on Instagram facebook and Twitter Matt writes a friend of mine has been and they've just released for signal single. She's a singer. The band called Saturn five and their new single is paralyzed from Newcastle Australia Lilia and <hes> it can be hard to get the word out so go ahead and find it on itunes and spotify so there you go events that I._D.. Ten T. DOT COM is how you would get your thing out there this episode returning. I guessed ever we're on the PODCAST. Tom Lennon is back and maybe he brought senior Arboledo with him. Who Sang the theme song the original original theme song <hes> so maybe maybe that maybe he comes back for a second or to so <hes> but Tom is great I love him? He tells some amazingly. There's some <hes> horror stories in here's some good Hollywood stories and we tell a lot of cat stories so this was recorded in in April and just to give you a little context and at the time <hes> our cat newbies was very sick <hes> and then we had some issues but he got better <hes> and then he just got sick again again in a new bus has his own instagram account by the way sweetie. Is it just a nudist Tutankhamun hearst Tutankhamun spelled the way Tutankhamun is spelled so look it up <hes> newest you can come to her. She's been putting updates on there but we think he's he's on the Mindanao but I think I might I think the word salad wrap. Today is going to be a little bit about cat health because we just went through a lot of that Tom Oh and also tom tells a story about a really Oh. My God he tells a real whopper of a story <hes> and he talks about a cat that he found that he took to his vet and so but it occurred to me that I should probably bleep out the name aim of his vet because maybe that's not something that everyone maybe maybe he doesn't want everyone to know what that he goes to so you'll hear three little bleeps in the in the podcast and that's just I just for privacy concerns. I just bleeped out the name of his VAT. Maybe I'm being being over protective or whatever but <hes> yeah that's that's all. It happened there so that's that Tom has a book out called Ronin boil and the bridge of riddles which is an amazing young adult novel that Tom Just wrote somehow in his spare time 'cause he is machine of content and <hes> yeah and I've I absolutely tom is one of my favorite people to riff with and it's so great that whole those ten years nine and a half almost ten years later <hes> that <hes> he's able to come back to the podcast to talk about stuff he was also one of the executive producers of at midnight to so Tommy. There's a lot especially history with this man I adore him and this is the podcast number ten eleven. Look Mr Tom Linen in. He aged eighty protocol books books Guzman. The near Tampa Ciller was Oh my God well first of all. Are we going. Oh we're going to this the podcast first of all take I had detained. I didn't bring my as you bring in. Your did not bring his whole rig to my gosh. I can't believe conference them. It's so good to see your both implies. It's been so long since you wrote our theme song. I know I made a tidy tidy sum off that here hang on my wife's Connie. It's okay hello spoiler alert. We're gonNA find his okay. Oh Yeah Tom's here. We're actually recording the PODCAST. I'm so sorry the that okay okay. I love your love. Your love you is key. We're not sure he'd some funny but the vet clinic is not being cool. Oh I don't like that. I got a great vet. If you need a good vet we've probably do when I was a young boy. I guess we should start with this. I witnessed something speaking of cat veterinary problems yeah that would change my life forever which was a cat basically fell apart in front of my eyes when I was four cat had had stitches and the stitches like fell out and I I don't know why am I was concerned that you were a wizard. No no no no no no no. Eh degraded concerned that you're Damian Thorn not on. You're discovering your Satana cowers. I wish I wish degree to have just a couple of those. Nobody I remember I was I was GONNA play group. <hes> we did a thing because appearance we're Alexa Hippie Chicago liberal types and the cat at the Babcock's house where we were having playgroup had had some stitches but they didn't take or something like that. Oh no so I remember as a four year old does make might be my first memory just watching a cat fall apart and then explains a lot about I haven't thought about it till right now and boy it really that we're really messed me up to you need a minute or is it all right. Let's say I took a minute it. I'm back. Thanks this explains why you can't get hard unless you see a cat exploding which is very specific porn category exploding pushing do not don't look at my search history guys it's so weird all referring to to just in case that so our cat has been sick so we took him to the vet it we took him into the middle of the night to the vet and they were not super helpful and they said well you can take him if he doesn't get better. You can take him to this other place. If he's not better you you can take there and get a C._A._T.. Scans so she calls on Friday and case not getting better the cash sneezing blood. Oh my God I'm so so but it doesn't look like it just it. He might have an obstruction he might have it. It might not be fatal sniffed in a little sometime. Maybe a little something can also I get a little bird like in their nose and stuff yeah and so on Friday said well take him into this other facility but we can't make an we can't schedule an appointment for you just have to show up and hopefully they can take you and she was like okay so she drives all the way in West L._A.. which was like an hour from where we need to home and she just called me and they're like they were like oh we have to do blood work and then you have to take him home and then we'll look at the blood work and then schedule the skin? It's like come on you. Take the blood work before the before I was thinking of I mean we're up on that. We're not sleeping because she has to the only thing she rubs his nose and so all night long he's like sneezing sneezing and she's rubbing his nose all night long and it's like hey on Friday. You would've known that he might of needed bloodwork before you could take him in. I T skin so why did you tell us that then not to double down or quadruple down on sad cat stories but I think that's what I'm going to do that. Cat this is the sad cats episode all now <music> all ships on the table so a couple years back great go with the cat stories in the world. I'M GONNA go ahead and just say probably skip the next ten minutes and then it's GonNa get hilarious. It was a cat falling apart extorted sort of is and and then I was never okay again. Of course I wasn't so couple years ago genuine. I used to live in a neighborhood that my friend deemed <music> as astro fat right down the street from Astro Burger and fabrics. Oh yes in the middle in the middle of sort of West Hollywood there and we found a baby kitten in an alley. We found this beautiful little black baby kitten in an alley and we took it home. It was definitely is weren't open. I'm talking tiny little kitten and we tried to. We got a little bit of milk and kept it in a warm box took. It and they're like what he wants to do. Thank you so bring the cat in do all the paperwork. What's the cats birthday well? I'm GonNa put today just because we don't know when this cat was born. Go a couple of his day passes. I call it or that like the cat has kind of passed away. The got passed away and I'm very sad well. Actually they're like hang on. I think he's fine or no. He's wake. I know game back on his opposite. The cat came back hang on one second. Oh Yeah Oh yeah said with that much like a saint cats back they were John. Is it sitting she still scrubbing around so we're not sure and I love this is one of the great things about the automated world that we live in so I had logged in the cap was there then I got home and I'm just like crying and it's sad about this cat and everything sucks and I get an email from the cat the the cash this was crazy. It's like David Lynch movie an email from and the email is a cart because at entered the cats birthday that day that I took them in so what I got was like a little dancing birthday that's and we because we found the cat because we found the cat behind Astra Burger. We'd named him French fries so so I got an email that says we know somebody's having a birthday eh happy birthday French fries and it was like one of those kind of animated cards you get from somebody so I'm sitting there sobbing tears pouring down my face. I'm looking at this car. That says happy birthday French FRY. I'm thinking about and so I called I call them and I was like okay. You assholes look. I just want you to know you just sent me. A hilarious animated birthday card for a cat. That's dead just died today day. They're like Oh okay yeah well yeah. That's the Computer Jessica Peter Does that computer and I'm like you use yeah so that would they automated. The computer. Just thinks it's funny. Yeah sorry the computers. Six six is weird A._I.. Computer just so yeah that was that was a rough one happy birthday Brian for happy birthday. It is funny because he is no longer alive. You See of cute cute name anyway so my thoughts and prayers is going to be okay. I don't he's eating. He's going to the bathroom like he's. He's behaving see named after the God of Death Guess M- okay. I just wanted to check one more time it okay the Egyptian die. He's he's he's immortal the underworld he's immortal. I'm you know <music>. I'm trying to find laughter and all this because I'm so I really you know my wife in this cat 'cause she's had him. Since he was holds. It was called incised wealth and he's got a good long run. He's got a good low otherwise healthy. He's a great cat and they my wife and the cat are so connected like she talks to him. Constantly sings to him he'd like he'll course imprinted on her and only pays me attention. I'm sort sort of like an emotional blow up to offer the cat not around. He will come up to me but the second she walks in the room. I'm you know you become this furniture aside this yeah so I'm really I do believe he's okay the the thing. Is You know she's been diagnosing online and you shouldn't do that you that you can't do that because you'll convince yourself a lot of stuff. My wife is a lot of that. We have cancer at Johns out. How did you get well? That's just what it says. This is why we're always sleepy because we're being irradiated by our phones and stuff constantly or the wife thing you ring a radiated by your wife. You haven't heard your definite. You know she's with the F._S._p.. which was once the K._G._B.? Really understand that have you do. Have you read this. There's a super scary experiment that somebody did. Oh No you don't want to know about this. Guy's the experiment about the the Lichen Moss plant that would not grow when there's WIFI around. Oh No never read this one guys. Don't read it because it's a real real bummer. She doesn't trust the government. May I would love to think that's true but apparently just wi fi just kills living things sit says maybe it kills a simple organism but for us right more super complex organisms. It's also on one electrical. We're probably we're probably fine. What's an extra year on your back yeah right but we just don't? We just won't develop anymore. No which I don't think we're going we weren't going to anyway ship is what are we still. Have this appendix for dead ship. Nothing I eat grass once in a while just to use my appendix. Keep it does to keep fighting shape just vestigial appendages on this planet yeah. It's not it's not it's not happening we did we had we had a great run on our purpose was to build the machine. We did it to then. Take them to take over then just sort of take it from there. I've been thinking about Atlantis a lot lately sure speaking of <hes>. Do you ever read that great book this the fingerprints of the Gods no speaking of civilizations positions and if you don't WanNa spoiler of the the book is called fingerprints of the gods by Gram Hancock. It's one of the greatest books you'll ever read in your entire life. Plug your ears for a second and I'll tell you what okay so he starts with the premise <hes> why are there pyramids ads in Egypt and Pyramids in Central America at about the exact same time <hes>. Why did that happen? That's crazy. It's parallel thinking it's like why you write a joke about <hes> you know Geico insurance and someone else writes a joke talk about Geico insurance comparing the pyramids twitter Joe. Yes that's right okay. Shitty twitter change the same basic premise but here's here's here's how he explains it and I think it is okay. Spoiler alert plugger ears the Atlantis existed one hundred percent okay it was really a lost continent of Atlanta's but because of the way the earth plates of moved and the procession of the Earth as we spin Atlantis is now down at the lower your poll of the earth and Arctic oh it's covered in a mile of ice okay but if we could see under that mile of ice there's the remnants of the amazing civilization to go right now and we're back it was wrong yeah he was so wrong. We lost a lot of good men down there but it was worth it was worth it. We drill down drill a mile. Yeah what's nothing weird nothing. He froze up a little bit of Lichen yeah something like that. It seemed like the wife I made stronger. Yeah yeah the like and has become someone sentence but it'll be a couple generations. The part of the I didn't like was when the likened sort of came for us like the movie it <hes> Yeah Yeah Well You keep saying like an I keep thinking underworld thing you meant the thing now so many Pronoun Movies Right Am us the thing us them knows the is there. Those should be let's get you. Can you get those those. I got. I gotTA GO Daddy. He owned those and then again. I just want to reiterate my you know we talked a lot and I sort of feel like we just steamrolled over senior Alito who was very kind. He did some great work left he we can go back and you're on the Bible it. Oh He's gone in her. Kinda make you it's they lost small fortune on scarves and gloves back. Fuck yourself for writing on top of everything else that you're doing to just make everyone else feel completely unproductive yeah well this. How did you write and this is not a small? I wrote a full-blown novel. This is a full blown a road so the novelist called Ronin boil in the bridge of riddles and it's the first of a series Ronin Boylan Abridge of Radio Sector. It's about a young boy who <hes> gets recruited for the leprechaun vision of Police Oh in Ireland and this is one of these weird things where so it's been a couple of years writing the book and all I ever thought about was boy what if the book becomes a bestseller wouldn't that be great. Wouldn't that be great and then it did. That's all we know what happens. You know what you feel when that happens is absolutely not talking about this. A lot of I guess the attainment of a goal is so careful careful guys a moment be so careful and and the story that you but but the the journey like it guy you to this place sure yeah so what is it that you think is creating the emptiness. I really really fascinating question. <hes> think Antarctica is under all the ice in your heart God. I hope there's nobody is a dangerous thing yeah so it was exciting. It's very hard to get weird Allen. I had a long not. There's GonNa sound like weird conversation. I was talking to Weird Alabama getting on the bestsellers. It's very hard to get on the bestseller list because the New York Times rates. They've an algorithm so some sales count more than other sales. It's not just like straight up sales accent. I know how does that make sale is a sale you would think but not not to them no so I think <hes> like real like small bookstores sales count more. There's like there's a certain way that they do it that it can still be a little bit snooty. which is I was pleased? I made the number to spot was good holy Shit. It was great. I was really really great and I also think it was very good from mental health to not make the number one spot because then I just go crazy just like full-blown never one number one then. I'm just got got forty people on staff suddenly elite at number two there you still there still place to go up at number one. Where what did you go down? Just minks yeah jets yeah. It's just make toilet paper. Just live minks live minding your astronaut. I would never heard a mink. No no no no I would just wipe with their fine line later beautiful handwriting Maracay that like they've built totally survive that absolutely and then you just the money you lose cleaning cleaning them and having to reintroduce onto their native habitat responds only use them once wow wow things are working there. Can you do the most simultaneously Eko hurtful and eco-friendly thing time so we take them out of Natural Chit them and then we have to reintroduce them. It's reintroduce them tens of thousands of dollars per mink shit. It's like a hundred times reintroduced to their habitat whole rivers can change yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ever and and so it balances out in a way anyway so the book the The book is been a real joy. It's just book writing is the opposite of movie writing really like movie writing. There's a lot of committees which I think you can feel sometimes when you see movies like this felt committee movies have you made have written that have not gotten made not con mate yeah crime any because I just I think it's interesting for people to here if you're just a if you're if you don't work in the entertainment business and just randomly season pop-up theater you think it's interesting to hear like how like it it is really like the the one sperm out of two hundred fifty million. Oh God you that is you know like burrowed into the egg. So People Louis say like Oh talent Benner successful screeners like it says in my wikipedia like their top how top Hollywood screenwriters the the number of things that are just full-blown failures is just like astonishing so we've got. We've written like maybe twelve films that have been made which is a lot the fucking there aren't a lot of people that have had that many films made <hes> but that's basically about resilience and persistence because I think there was one year at Fox we had three movies shelved in in a year. Here's my favorite recent movie stories because they just so we've written probably forty or fifty so many of your films. We just gave you a storage. I I know it's amazing so so <hes> my favorite did recently was we we lose this great article <hes> from a magazine. We're going to write a movie about it and it was it was about <hes> there is culture of mostly men who to sign up to be the first human trials of Pharmaceuticals okay which is a heavy duty thing because no one no human has ever taken this drug before <hes> and somebody has to be the first <hes> and you get paid paid. Well you know do it but the the stakes are very dangerous so ben I'd had come up with his pitch sorta based on that about a focus medicine these to kind of loser guys in Cincinnati <hes> and they start taking this focus drug and they really get their shit together and like the get better jobs and they get like cool women and they become these like amazing Alpha type people and then you find out like sort of there's a little bit of a caper. It's it's basically it was funny. Jacob's ladder yes find out a finally finally you find out later like midway through. You're like oh nothing in their life has changed but just their perception of their life has changed which isn't really fascinating point of view which would be like. We couldn't make you appealed major more fit. We couldn't make you a pill that made you have more hair but we have pill that makes you perceive yourself in a much more pleasant wet right so <hes> that's basically it was the premise move we pitched to emma watts our friend at Fox who we made all the night and museum movies. She passed in the room. She was like this is so sad. I hate it so much and we're like oh wow okay I mean literally she was doing you know once you're talking to someone of their subtly shaking their heads right right like no like everybody is rejecting it unconscious. Whatever whenever I'm telling Patent Oswal when I'm doing in my life he subtly is shaking his his just quietly and so sometimes he will subconsciously also go boy and I was like I was just telling you something nothing? I'm excited about my life now. I know that it sucks by and he's like Oh. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh no no I do that. They'd my body time. You're shaking your head boy Terry so emma passes we then end up selling it to Fox two thousand which is hilarious because the office is like fifty feet away from Amazon office Elizabeth Gabler who was running Fox two thousand. She loves US movie loves it loves loves it so excited watts versus Gabler so we write the movie. She is so excited it comes in. She's thrilled with a slight caveat. It doesn't feel like a Fox two thousand movie to her. It's too big and commercial. This is more of a regular Fox movie. She gives the script back Emma who passed in the room and was like this is the most depressing movie I've ever heard. I hate it right reads the script. I love it now. She loves passing on it. I don't remember I remind don't remember what a reminder. I just keep my head down. I'm like of course sometimes people just forget but <hes> whether she forgot or just changed her mind. I didn't care it was great now. We've got to go movie at Fox after a pass in the room which is like that's the the <hes> Juggernaut then a new co-chair comes in reads. A script hates it so much it's out again so that was like basically that was a year and a half of work and a full script gripped. Now is just literally shredded garbage so I mean the heartbreaks. Here's what I got our new heartbreaks movie heartbreak story Greg this'll kill you. We have this idea. It's sweet little we wrote to pacify or you know we right like some family movies. You know <hes> that it's been a nice lifestyle so we this fun idea for movie about Ben and I both loved. There's a book about Frank. Sinatra called the way you wear your your hat and it's all about like his rules of life. Sure like the one question they ask Frank Sinatra's like what's the one thing you would never do around a woman and he gives an interesting answer. That's yawn that Frank Sinatra's yeah so. It's not a lot of like no don't take your prick out on a tennis Cohen over not even we're not. We're nowhere close to their. Oh it's like don't Yawn in front of a lady like via classic so we ended up. We wanted to write this movie that was about it's about Vegas Limo driver who ends up driving around a bunch of like a Mafia dons kids and his friends the kidneys France and they're all the couple boys in their old awful. They're just like one Kardashian ones was raised by. They're they're just awful. Little children and it's sort of like there's again a little crime heist that happens but it's it's basically about him. Teaching these boys to be more like Frank Sinatra listening to be like classier people so we we pitched it to Adam sandlers lers agent and the whole we pitch the whole pitch Adam sandlers agent goes crazy. He's like love it. This is amazing exactly the kind of thing Adams look into couldn't be more excited. We go into Sony where sandwich got US deal <hes> pitching it to <hes> Doug Belgrade the head of production at Sony Big Dude. We're doing the pitch and Ben. I'm only do a pitch. It's it's like a state sketch. It's just a full sketch mcclay every character my God we're alike. You know we keep it tight to like ten. Fourteen minutes is like our longest pitch but we do the entire movie. Everyone's facial expressions like we do a whole thing were Mitt in the mid point of that and Doug Bill grads assistant comes in with a post it note on his finger thinks he's only shows to Doug. I can't see what's on it and gentleman. I'm so sorry let's pause this pitch just for second just hang on. We'll be right back a half to take this steps outside of the room. Ben and I leaned into each other. We're like this is the greatest pitch of our lives. We're about to be so rich. This amazing dot com comes back and he's like gentlemen continue keeping with the pitch finished. The Pitch Pitch Goes Amazing Doug says let us think about it. This is great ben out in the parking lot high five and victory lap. Were so psyched we get in the car. We're driving home. We call agents to find out how the pitch went because it seemed amazing and the call what we found out was post. It note said Adam sandlers on the line was the phone call in the middle of our Adam Sandler movie bitch Doug went out got on the phone with them. They were talking about something else but he said Oh you know. <hes> you guys Tom and Benner here pitching that the limo driver movie and Sadler went yeah. I don't know about that that happened in the middle of our pitch unbeknownst to us our whole second half of the pitch where we're doing like funny faces over it was over but we're we're going hard and we had no idea. We didn't know we were already dead. This is an sense. This is an inter goes. We were the ghost well the second hand the ghosts Yep you died halfway through. The pitchers didn't realize we just didn't know you're still haunting his office so that one heard would you rather that. He stopped you and said this isn't going to work or were you happy. That's a great question I because I think it was humane that he let you finish yes because and then put then the shame yeah yes it was it was human. I think that was an incredibly nice thing to do because they're you know there are a lot of studio. People might have just been like guys. I've heard enough. Thank you like Yuck. He could have been addict about it but he didn't think that was at dickey's thing to do. What would you do well? I got I got speaking of the I have I have the scary version of this also happened. Okay the musk had cats. This is where the cats get very sad cat rating of nine point six this okay so so this is all in the theme of God it's mostly. It's mostly disappointment and failure and then you every once in a while you get something through and that's amazing amazing. Yeah it is the tiny sperm that could yeah so we had a movie with <hes> the j.j Abrams was producing Yep <hes> and it was called <hes> the weakening and is about these little goblins islands that live under stonehenge okay <hes> well no so that they live under a bridge that's near Stonehenge and it's basically like a little watership down about these little monsters yeah. They're just got find a new bridge live under but they're these fun little monster creatures and they all kind of talk like this and it's cold though weakening and it was just like a live action C._G.. Animated Animated Fully Animated Movie J._J.. Loves it. We worked with him on it. For a long time. We pitch paramount. We're J.J Abrams has deal and you feel like you have if J._J.. Is behind you you feel good. We're get and it's a really funny pitch. It's like me and Ben we sing. A couple of salt. Lake songs are in it fantastic so we'll thing in a thong about moving. This stones stone is known thing so this was a amazing one. We go in we sell it sold sold to paramount done. Get a call from J._J.. Man I'd really love to get one more offer on this just to drive up the you know. Get the deal in a slightly better place and we're like J._J.. It is your world. We just shopping at Man. Let's what do you want to what are you gonNa tell them. No Yeah Yeah Brel. Let's do it. He's he's like can you guys go just run over this afternoon at three and we pitch to Jeffrey Katzenberg dreamworks and we're like Yes we can have a yoga class as a matter as a matter of fact Jeffrey loves us. We've been working on introduce the shipments back into their natural habitat but you want us to swing by catching up by the J._K.'s said cats are said to the sad Katzenberg this actually mad cats and it's really interesting also so we so Mogoi we go in and also we've been working with Katzenberg for like a year on we worked on Sherman. We wrote the rucking bullying cool short in which I actually played the fearless leader voice and we just had a great relationship. We've just been palling around and snap and towels at each other so we get in and this was it was the cloud city seen okay it was it was a meeting about keeping this battle stations fully operational we Jeffrey says a low to us in the hall. Hey guys hey come on and he sits down with his lieutenant bill his number two Guy Ben and I are geared up. We're about to start doing funny voices so psyched and Katzenberg says before these guys start bill. Let me just explain to you. They've already sold this movie to paramount their zero chance. We're going to get this film no chance there here because they needed a stalking walking horse and they're trying to get their price up paramount so that's why they're pitching to me. It's a bullshit pitch and they're just doing this so that they can get a better deal at paramount. Go Wow he's good and it was like Oh my God. Ah W where attorney my thing Thong thing somebody needs to upside down was the the most I don't know if you've been yelled at by adult man lately Holy Shit I step down my shaking and they were shaking for like a couple of days. I just didn't <hes> like I couldn't couldn't shake it it was did you buy your agent so how'd it go. We all we all stepped outside and everybody was just like just paled and rattle was J._J.. J._D. wasn't with you. Here's even worse thing J._J.. was going to call you know check in with Katzenberg before the meeting and we're the Executive Judas executive was there was like two J._J.. Call you can talk to this and Canterburg in his angry. Moment was like he's on my call sheet but we didn't talk now. Oh God it sucks so uh-huh so basically you your entire life has been watching cats fall apart exploding. It's fun about these stories is number one. They're great stories and number two it just child make anyone feel better feels like because you've had so many successes. If you feel like it's not working out. That's how it more normally field. It's not so binary that it's that it's all roses or it's all getting yelled at by Jeffrey Katzenberg. It's it's life is a mixture of those things and you just much the way that your the movie about the guys who focus on the perspective shift you just have to mentally navigate and be able to Z.. Ah The truffles growing in the move. Here's a great Hollywood story for people that are struggling out there. I signed to be in three monster trucks pictures. What I'd like contract for Monster Truck's a movie almost did not come out at all? I signed to be in on contract for three now. Do they have to pay you for those new Nuno Joe no they barely pay you for one Gotcha Gotcha but <hes> yeah but they just figured monster trucks is going to be such a smash hit. Yep like the kids are GonNa go crazy. They'll be monster trucks dolls and toys obviously games no and then <hes> the movie. That's another thing that happens a lot which is headed the studio head of the Adam Goodman who made monster trucks and at paramount mid the entire movie and then the last week of filming got fire well. That's crazy thing about the business to is that it everything takes so long so long and usually that's in the business affairs region where you know like stacks of documents just sit on lawyers for ages and so a year might go by two years go by and then there's all new studio heads. It's mall all it's very unlikely the same people will be there and it also happens a lot like at the new media companies to where it's like Amazon will have a brand new division for something and they sell show and then everyone then they read configure and then there's not even a department or you don't even know if your show I think I'd one of the only shows I was executive producing Koolup show on C. so yeah do you which does not exist anymore. Do you remember in beetlejuice where they're walking down the hallway and the Maitland's look into that that window and there's just all those souls and they've been exercise in purgatory. That's a lot of the business exactly anyway I send your cards and letters if you want another monster trucks movie suppose they could just low okay they could activate my contract. Tom's all right so that's the Canada. Do you feel like this is part of the reason why you 'cause I sort of I sort of view the business in my career as the hatching of <hes> baby tortoises on the beach and it's just like they try to flop to the water and a lot of them will not get through a lot of gobbled by seagulls and then a couple will get into the some might just die they just over and some don't even make egg and then some make it into the water water but then a lot of those getting by predators were waiting. We don't we the fun thing. There's a new also thing in the entertainment industry which is neat where they don't even tell you anything like we were pitching this <hes> movie for Kate McKinnon like over and over again we pitched it like three or four times with Mike Deluca and it got so far that we were at Amblin and Spielberg comes into the walk through the lobby and he never chats with us. We've seen him a couple times. He says once he said Spielberg said to us. Hey guys <hes> and it was really exciting. Yeah I was. I thought about that for weeks. I was like he looked at us. He acknowledged by space in his brain. Hey guys was so excited. Hey you're the guys tried to fuck Jeffrey Katzenberg never yeah you remember you were talking. You're trying to get your quota. You're super blacklisted by the way to tell you this but it's <hes> there's a secret book in a thome but that's the other thing is you gotta then maintain your friendships with these people yeah oboe so like we were pitching this movie pichit over and over again to Amblin and then the last like run into Spielberg in the lobby. It's like Oh my God. I are you guys bitching on that thing. I love that thing. This is great. I'm so excited how fun this is going to be great. Go in and pitched it never have heard from anyone involved the project ever again not just kind of not like an email text. I've never heard anything about it ever again. They just sort of you. Get now. The business goes to you can get goose could so hard. We've had such a good runners expelled. We're going to really hit it off and then and then he said I love this thing. Read this tiny read this text does this and then you never hear from them ever again. Sent me a Dick Pic and I didn't hear anything again. This is up and a couple of times. This happened to us on a movie. We wrote a movie called. Choose your own adventure yep for a year. We wrote the choose your own adventure movie at any never any point. How many things do you have going stages of it depends there's way less movies than there used to be right occasionally finally back in the day? We'd have two or three scripts. We'd be working on generally. We don't really it's Ju- generally we're really working on one thing and then we we don't divider time that much gotta try to finish things even if they're hard because I'm just trying to figure out because again like we're telling the sad cats version stories but <hes> but you also have you've done so many amazing things you have so many wins in your bucket and especially because in addition to writing this book and writing all these things and I'm sure working on a bunch of T._v.. Shows and then acting then you also play in a Smith's tribute band and so there's a lot when I'm chasing every waterfall it seems but wait -til see said not to chase. That's what I'm doing. Okay well. You're not supposed to definitely need to you need to stick to the rivers and lakes that the lakes are full of exploding cats <hes> yeah it's a new thing where you just don't there's way less movies right and the movies are much much bicker Yep. Yeah I gotta go see us. Maybe tonight. I'm going to go see the business just from friends that I have who work at various tutors or whatever you know there used to be this really great section of one two three million dollar movies then certain companies could figure out how to like monetize all day long and I think net flicks probably killed a lot of that unbelievable Netflix just built because they're they're building looms over over very close to where I live they just built another giant building across the street from their building sure because they just they can't they've so many executives and so if you go into the lobby of net flicks it feels like grand central station to me. I guess I actually I think love your net. Afflicts feels like men in black owned for sure where it's just like daily interviews with all sorts of weird stigma crawl on the wall actually wanted to do like a Sitcom. That's basically like Newhart Yep. That's just called Netflix slobby lobby. It's just like the desk and like the screens and you see like sometimes there's Guillermo del Toro really fucking huge people that are there to pitch that you that they have to home. I Gosh had a great pitching Netflix. I've never heard heard from them again. Don't Nieve Yeah. They don't like if they shut down production today. They have years of things that they could assure this was a rough on our last pitch which was and then then. I don't feel great when I read that Adam McCain Will Ferrell parted ways this week because the pitch that we were out three weeks ago and we pitched like eleven places was an advocate will movie so we might have been we might have been the straw autry you broke the camel's back or the the unlovable child reminded me and daddy was us. You should have done your homework saying you should have done your homework. Why did we make it so hard for them? Why is your rooms no messy? This is why Mommy and daddy hit so I think we've had in the pile of epic disasters but that's time there's just so many things that are out of our controllers so you just you do what you can so you write a kids book like look you know Ronin boil. If it's on the bestseller seller list you'll probably right another one. You'll probably like in this'll get made into something and this this thing that you did as a passion projects instead of chasing the business this thing you did as a passion project could become its own industry and had any of those other things worked out at might have taken your attention from your true the true thing that you're supposed to be doing which is to create this and that's universe. That's an important thing that you have to realize. When can you make the hard decision to say like I'm going to do that? I really love and I'm not gonNA chase like every <hes> t._l._C. waterfall of money the money waterfalls but the book yeah the book took a couple years and it was intense and probably you know probably cut into me and Ben Writing move your to maybe I mean. We still have been doing that wall. I'm doing this but you know it. Sometimes you just have to prioritize and be like fuck. I'm GONNA do the like I'm gonNA write the book every heartbreaking story I have a job I really wanted and didn't get it always turn out in the long run that I was glad that it did almost now because I it's like Oh my God. If this had burned out I never would have gotten to do at midnight or if this had worked out. I never would have gotten. I wouldn't have created this or I wouldn't have done this. It's always you can't you always feels horrible in the moment yup but in the long run if you keep your nose down and you keep working and you keep them you know following things like eventually eventually you do go. Oh my God I can't believe I almost you know I sabotage one time sabotage myself so bad. I'd never was my first ever audition for a Broadway play off which was weird it was for <hes> was David David Mann at play cold November Okay and it was <hes> starring Nathan Lane as the President of the United States or whole plays about he's GonNa Pardon of Turkey is wittily. Apparently it's terrific way I ended up not saying it but there's like an assistant who stands on the side Lord of the stage for the entire play and only has like eight or ten lines and it's Kinda great though you get to be an David Mann play but you don't learn nothing yeah so but I went in and my first audition was just amazed I just killed it and real somehow I started thinking about. Do I WANNA play for like a year. <hes> we're a stand on the side of the stage and say you're right. <hes> those were the lines were like I agree and so at the second audition audition I definitely and this is a real thing you can self sabotage a little bit like I just pump the brakes a little bit and I wasn't very good and I of course did not get it and then the next day I came home and audition for seventeen again which is probably the most popular movie I've ever been so see you never know you never know you never know sometimes. The cats are exploding. Sometimes sometimes there's Supernova into other cats. What does the cat had to explore degree at all these other cats when cats explode they turned into a bunch of tiny? It's more cats. They turned into a bunch more cats yeah but that's the thing you just don't you just don't ever no you don't ever know usually it's in those moments of darkness. There's a light around the corner then you and it's not to say like listen. If any of these things that movie was Spielberg or the other one it would have been fine but again this. If you really think are kind of thinking the right right way this sort of forces you to go well instead of chasing whatever else wants and trying to make other people like me. What do I really care about? What do I really want? I forgot another great one. Oh please and another great one of adult man yelling at us. Oh sad cats cats and it was Ivan Right. Oh Yeah so we made this movie Ben and I were supposed to we wrote and we're supposed to direct the baywatch movie. Oh my gosh yeah and <hes> we still have story credit on the baywatch movie. I have not seen it. I heard some using. I'm sure it's amusing enough <hes> but when completely changes your script you probably are whatever yeah I cash the check either way but so we had made a movie that I'm really proud with many of our friends in it called <hes> Hill Baby <hes> and we took it to sundance and audiences loved it. Everyone else hated. It was just that movie. I think the movie hell baby because we New Orleans for like twenty days <hes> and when you're in New Orleans you just the cast is Keegan Michael Key Rick Three Ricky Lindholm Leslie Bib Kumail Nangiani Ben me you you take you just take everybody as dinner every night so we lost like twenty five thousand dollars on just dinner dinner's yeah because also really nice restaurants in New Orleans so we made the movie showed at Sundance. Note doesn't sell at all like just nothing. I'd never heard anything like this. It was just we're just like we waited like all night the first night we're like so they're like Bota. NOPE nope what about nobody wanted. No one wanted to buy that movie. We ended up like dumping it off on this. This company offered us like pennies on the dollar right to stream it <hes> but so the next week we got called into Ivan Reitman's office because we were supposed to direct Baywatch and it was like everyone everyone hates you guys. They just hate it. I mean it's it's I hear it's I haven't seen it but I know that everyone hates and we're like Oh okay and it's a movie. I'm really proud of but and it was weird because he hasn't seen it so you can't argue like I it was funny yeah but yeah and it's again very weird to have like an adult man kind of yelling at you. Coming down on you always come down on was he was that would that him saying that what we thought we were going to get like notes on the script but the note that we were getting. Is You guys and so you guys you off of it as a basically yeah oh my we got. We were shortly shortly thereafter. We replaced so you that happens. Even when people are your friends so you must have advice for for people who feel like because you've experienced this a few times. You must have advice for people because obviously you go and sit in your car and you probably have that moment where you're like all right well. I guess this was a fun run and think about it for two seconds just thinking about it the two seconds and then never think about it again. That's the thing that yeah just talk about about when you say these stories up of being yelled at every powerful adult man in Hollywood or tell like did you have a conversation with J._J.. About what happened no never <hes> no. I was too scared to call the first time J._J.. Ever called me was my favorite thing. I've only because I find him to be incredibly nice. Delight is one of the funniest guys whoever and warm and just a sweetheart so the first time this had never have never gotten a phone call from J._J.. And so I just bought this I can tell you six years ago had just bought the brown the brand new Tesla <hes> we're driving up to northern California. We're going to wine country in the back of the car of Ali and my son and his best friend Charlie in carseats Jackson next to me. The cars pretty crowded <hes> Charlie. I'll always little friend gets real motion sick. It turns out Oh real motion sick and the got a lot of Torque. We're driving up the road so the phone rings and I answered you know tap the screen and I answer it so it's in the whole car and <hes> it was an unknown number. I didn't know but it's you know it's in the west side of of L._A.. Numbered I pick it up and it's a Tom. Hey it's j.j Abrams the second he finishes saying the Word Abrahams Charlie behind me. The little girl starts projectile vomiting onto the back of like my seat seat back of like a little bit of my head all over and by the way I'm in a tesla that's one day old and she's just barf dislike hot pink sludge everywhere now so I'm trying to maintain this phone call J._J.. Try to sound. I'm trying to sound cool. I'm like Oh J._J.. Hey Man Hey. How's it going so I pulled over? I'm an pulled out the car over the girls BARF trying to catch BARF in like a cup that we've got an always freaking out. Everybody's everybody's freaking out. Take quickly get the phones disconnected from the car so I can take it so now. I'm just talking into like this hot barbed on the back like a gas station parking lot and I just stepped down to the car and the other day it was actually the girl girls dad was in the passenger seat and he's kind of dealt with but I got a whole phone call with J._J.. With my neck never told him that either. That's fantastic yeah was he calling with good good news. It was interesting news. He wanted to talk about the the prospect of making some toys out of the characters and stuff like that movie happening by the way no not what Jesus sold it though of course movies not happening. Wait a minute though but here's what happened on that movie to call the reckoning J._J.. Setup paramount animation. It's all going great. Turn it in. I've never heard from paramount animation again ever and the executive charges gone so it's just yeah so you're in bureau. No window of life still get the I still get the bad robot Christmas present which is all my wife cares about if you know anything about. Are you on the the bed robot. I'm not no no no no no. It's incredible someone at bad robot like really thinks about what the Christmas present is because it's always got like one aspect as a charitable thing right and then it's like here's the perfect box of things for camping <hes> like it's a compass Senate ads. It's always something really clever. Was One was like you're gonNA. Here's all the stuff would need to make your own pizzas a bunch of times yeah. They're really good like that. I mean I've never really worked with them. I mean I've moderated a lot of panels a COMECON free but you but hey and the Christmas card list got to be on uh-huh yeah. It's a good list of you on. I think I'm being ghosted. You might be being. Are you on any anybody it's definitely not on Christmas list. God I mean but it's also like when someone is tells you that they think what you just did sucked and then they like he was also like as if we were going to give an explanation fellows the picture picture sucks yeah and then it's like we do then there's a pause of like what am I supposed to say. Is there or an answer for that. It's done the Internet in even former you have to respect though you gotta respect someone who will do it to your face to face. You guys. Just feeling like you guys really sucked. Go Wow I was just go back at an Dan Dan Dan in An Giang Tanta. Oh dear that was a refund. I'm trying to Oh. I have a lot of horror stories yeah but but I'm not even close to to through all the horror story but the great part is that again yeah you've had these horror stories and still manage to have a fantastic career. Keep at it you have about who have so many I mean when you think <hes> people say I've people are like oh you work on a lot of stuff. There's a lot of stuff but but you but you because like our T._v.. Production Deal we've sold like twelve shows that are very by saying none of them have been made yet insane. A lot of them probably won't but that's insane but it's just sort sort of like and you wait and it's like two years you know and so it's learning to be patient and understand like you know how not to go crazy because I think I think the big challenge of this business is to not go crazy in the process. Yes yes because it almost is like it's almost every that's everything it is a trial of fire. It's basically the film labyrinth of us to hurt my feelings like they're used the problem. There was a time where I've been reitman like kind of yelling. Get me would have really broken my heart and now I can barely remember to tell you that story yeah. It was just like I knew that happened. Just threw it up on the shelf but thanks to that also helps because you know there's there's sort of two pads in the business you either James Cameron where you only do one thing every twenty twenty years but it just makes two billion dollars changes the universe. That's very tricky path. The other way is like listen you just gotta you gotTa try some stuff. It's like I don't know a lot about sports but yeah I know that a batting average is like a good batting average is like thirty percent of the time you'll hit that's amazing and so if you like most of the stuff you do if you can just sort of you know like rather than being kind of result-oriented feeling well. Listen get made this inmate you learned through the process. It took you in another direction. You will you get that experience. No one takes that away from you. It's all good. I stopped listening when you said you sold twelve shows because I was so angry with you now. There's nothing else I can take away from this but there's no but God bless God bless anyone else so happy one of them a handful of them have not like they've already been. It's like 'cause you like there's shows the DMC. We'll do an chose well. This isn't really us but you can ticket elsewhere and then the this leads me to so like this later this week. I've meeting with Katzenberg. We're still gotta stay friends to you have to stay because to him. It's not personal. No it wasn't an and that's probably why he is where he is because he doesn't it wasn't personal and he was right whereas the other bummer right right anything worse than someone yelling at you is the person is a hundred percent right right right right. When I thought was wrong? I think he'll baby. I stand by it. It's a movie I'm really proud. It's not perfect but it's fun some great stuff in it yeah but yes so I wrote a pilot for Fox. Two years ago called Y nos which is just a workplace comedy in a wine tasting room. No it's no Gracia. It's just very simple. It's the office office but everybody's a little tipsy and some cookie characters and Fox. Didn't it wrote another one. They still didn't do it and now he's got a short-form service called Quincy Yeah Yeah Yeah. They're making like we're GONNA do. We're GONNA five to seven minutes exactly yeah. I think we're GONNA do for that but yeah stay be able to stay friends with people who've yelled at you but I also but also there's the idea about not getting too precious about any one thing hells now when you when you first start doing standup you get really precious about each joke and then after you've I guess the same thing you have kids like your. I kid you really the second kid and your kid. We probably find you know so they said drinks from the dog. That was me drinking from covered in Cat Guts Yep Yep did happen. Literally happened Sarah Babcock's none of no adult ever counseled us about it either. Nobody was like hey the cat had stitches over time. It was a different time parents. They just people had a cigarette and they just walked key party. Walk a cat blow was the ice storm was happening in the other room you. You're watching a cat part. Yes the GROOVY key party now. Oh my God <hes> anyways <hes>. It's crazy to me to see that your son is like a person. It's really <music> little dude. I know he's he'll be ten. That's in a couple months yeah very surreal because when we started doing the show is tiny little baby yeah when we started the podcast is in the nine years old baby. We did a soup your house Super Bowl Day. Yeah not really ever watch superbowl I even yeah I'm gonNA catch the commercials online the next like if I'm my mom was over our at our house one super bowl because <hes> we have your mom's best but she's she's great. She's great yeah my mom's awesome she's great. I might feel slightly closer to your mom than my mom and that's fine my mom's very maternal yeah. Oh no she's great. She's been always really so. She'll she'll take areas little a little more together than my mom who has a little bit of dementia and stuff a lot. Maybe maybe somewhere between a little in lot depends how many gin and tonics I'm telling you my mom. You know like if you my mom is called up one day and said you know. Can I come over and have dinner. It should be like Yay vibe. She absolutely ships loves his cool. Isn't it funny that like people when I go to stand up Oh my God I miss at midnight. Oh my God I miss at midnight and I love that I missile to I don't miss the schedule but I certainly certainly missed the show and I miss that there's just a whole where there used to be a lot of comedians version of and new new young people that came out there. Just isn't that kind of discovery platform anymore that I'm aware of an I I missed that and I missed the silliness of it but I also you know like I I feel like the show burned hot for four years and then it was really amazing. Show uh it was so funny so many great things came out of it so many people that I never met until then who were just like and then Ron Fund people that became like that loomed so large like Ron funchess how many times Doug Benson win because like Zillion a lot Iran. They're probably the two they're definitely the two they definitely have the two most wins. I think run had said that he had had the can't even remember anymore. It's been so log now. It was just it's a long the for you. That schedule wasn't saying it was but I but I but boy do I blew miss it. I really really really do it was so fun I mean I mean I knew the second that I saw the tweeter dome pilot that you did. I watched the show for thirty seconds and I was like that again. There were so many things we did. All it's got an injuries in there was an injured syringe in and then you had had friend Sarah Underwood in it as underwood how if people when you lost she would play a French horn a French French horn that was my big contribution to the show was ninjas changes that everybody got lead in thumbcuffs by Ninjas Ninjas would be watching you loss then there was like a really embarrassing embarrassing rumor. We would say that you and Andy Dick had been arrested in a parking lot the C._G._i.. Fridays but now since a lot of news headlines are coming off of social media's it probably would not be wouldn't even wood frame lives. But how frequently do you think about quitting all social media one not really on twitter anymore because you really faded the twitter. Yeah and I don't really read the nuts. I don't really the newsline anymore either because I which which may be makes me a bad citizen the world but I just feel like it's like the new all the new cycles and social media cycles are just so toxic really because again all click bait and and really outrageous things are prioritized and so I just feel like it creates an unhealthy it's Christian view of the world's and and so I want to look when you find yourself getting mad at stuff that has literally I'm not talking about human rights violations but just like little things here and there that you're like why am I absorb the you like your brain has so many ram you only have so much ram on and I feel like even just going on social media lot during the day it it just runs a negative script in the back of your brain when you don't even realize happening ended affects zillion percents you're just absorb it and so I just feel like I just want to have a healthier relationship with it and nine million percent not be so absorbed by it so I just haven't really done instagram and stuff. Yeah I mean. I don't even really do that that much anymore. I do WanNa see unlikely animal friendships. We'll see unlikely animal friendships. I don't want to see a tiger and a Turkey become. That's my favorite absent. Aw the more unlikely the better or I want to see someone going out on ice to save a dog that walked on ice no that it shouldn't have walked on right like I'll watch I'll watch that all day long and that's the thing that when instagram is that you can create any kind of experience that you want but but I also I get ashamed at myself. Sometimes when I'm when I post something and then I would like to think I'm a better person than someone who would check the amount of like something gets and not be affected by. I don't bother but like if I propose something and especially if it's like a show that I need people to come out to <hes> and the algorithm crushes it down because it's promotional. I'm not paying for them to boost a that's a whole new thing by the way and I get really bummed. I'm like fuck. You know like as a content creator. This is like like the is very hanky. The paid promotional little stuff I've had I've done a couple of times for stuff to the book when ruined boil came out like I definitely a shot very funny little instagram video and then I was like well shit I I should promote this and that's sixty five thousand views. The social media like the big three four including Sam Chet basically killed blogging so like everyone gets all the stuff and social media now and so it's like if you're a content creator and you can't even get your content went out to the people who elected to follow you because you're not paying to have like that so I get disappointed that's about it bothers me too yeah because it's hard not to attach. You should be grown up in not give you don't want to attach yourself worth to a fake fake number but it doesn't mean it feels like feel so goddamn good. The only thing that feels like anything but the thing that thing that's scary about it. Is that it it is sort of an emotional exploit. It's kind of like hacking our brain a little bit and in an addictive way because you don't WanNa start affecting your behavior just to get likes and that's what everyone does so of course you might post things that maybe you don't Miss. You know it's like I don't know if you're just chasing the high of likes MHM it clouds. You're better judgment and decision. Making about the types of things are putting into to me like a really brave day is of a shoot a little instagram video myself without putting some powder on my nose because generally I'll just do a quick little the touch a powder touch yup. Oh you mean like makeup powder. Absolutely I thought you meant like Oh. No no actually a tiny touch Jamaica good. I remember saying well. Thanks for for my age you know but on Instagram it's so harsh it's so I know what you gotTa. You gotta get one of those little ring lights. You can attach you seen them. The fantastic gives you a little yeah. We've been reduced to we're sad. Cats said dad sad sad. Cats and we're slowly falling apart of just GonNa fall qualified. I'm trying to think of who else is yelled at me. In the last couple years really really something goes no J._J.. Never yelled at me yet now. He's a sweetheart. He's the best he's really funny guy. He is legitimately funny and also you know there's some people you're around where you can just feel their cerebral like the Electricity of their brain. He vibes five really he's I if you touched his head almost be plasma ball where you can it. Just leave the electricity like fingers around no. He's a delight Yeah Yeah I. I'm I'm a big Fan. I'm a big fan of IMPR- obame personally as a person as well and he's also a big seen other stuff of its own credit and every time I never went to J._J.'s office. <hes> this is a really cool thing and this is. This says I think a lot about the kind of person that he is when you're waiting in the lobby at bad robot well for one thing they've got a mold Aram machine that makes their logo via the greatest thing ever then there's just politico whether you can sniff the plastic that's how did it the zoo at the exact but then there's also just a already stamped a bunch of postcards letters every color pencil in the world and it says while there's a nice little sign this while you're waiting for your meeting. Why don't you write a letter to someone in our armed forces and thank the service you know and it's like of course like instead of just being Dick and sit rifling through social media do something fucking and it was like that was the first time that I was like Oh this? This is a different kind of guy. This is a great interesting cat. I mean what all this time and as as long as we've been friends I mean we've been friends really long Oswego back. We Go M._T._v. m._t._V. Spring break ninety four. Oh my God we were down at what was it Panama City. No spring break nine hundred ninety we went to ninety five live with so ninety four. I'm pretty sure was in San Diego Pacific beach or something and I think in all the state people were there we the only one that I remember we for sure went to was Panama City Florida <hes> <hes> I had a brief encounter with a young hooters waitress named Kelly. This is what I learned about <hes> these were classic Classic Times yet <hes>. This is what I learned about Kelly Kelly's probably fifty now we actually were still friends. Let's go but she had a little <hes> playboy logo on her that she would put like a sticker on while she got Tan <hes> so then when she appeal the sticker off course you got like a Pale Panama Panama City with that Club Novella Oh my God club Laville I remember my head's room next to Andy Dick which is a lot is the flood of boys and girls that rolled out of there in the morning. Oh my God I have a it was a Stroz a strange time dark time for the rebellion have like crazy crazy Andy Dick Story but I do have an uncomfortable any dictionary when when I worked K. Rock we're doing the Acoustic Christmas one year and this probably ninety six ninety five ninety seven I dunno and it's when I was still quite friendly with booze and and I'm sure that Andy <hes> was also and so we were standing in the when you were on Erique rock you just had these God passes go in and so we're standing backstage while the dressings are at the universal amphitheater which is now hogwarts and Oh my God that is we're hogwarts. That's what the universe that's what that space is. Never put that together all my God yeah sorry. There was no no no no yeah. It was one of those weird things does because I forgot what went there. That's what went it's it's. It's Diag- on Alley spray so Andy Dick probably right right near all vendors Wan's MHM goes. Let's go in this room and we go into the room and it's a room about the size of the rumor. Now we small room and we sit down on this couch and we look over and there's <hes> musical superstar or Natalie merchant sure who's just sitting there at her like at the dressing table that's right just post ten thousand maniacs so there's this was I think this was her solo solo career and she wanNA hang out with Andy Dick Backstage. I feel like she's a van serious. You would expect that there. I mean you WanNa talk about unlikely friends. I on it turns out. It is unlike yeah that seems yeah. They're not no. I feel like Natalie merchant in a minute says. Are you supposed to be here or something like that. Yeah Yeah Yeah what's the matter here as a matter yeah exactly. It's basically really the Andy Dick Monster truck just drove through the guy onto the stage that lilith fair no and that's not the so her like a couple people have her team is over there and she sees us <hes>. It's like it's like a weird nightmare that you have where. uh-huh yeah you you feel like you shouldn't be somewhere and then from across the room someone notices you and you feel caught and so she notices us and when you don't want Natalie merchant man and she she whispered in what's the matter here into her agent unpublicised whatever who then looked over and sauce and then came over and said <hes>. I'm sorry who who are you to an all I remember was just oh no. I gotta go are like I came back. What I said and I just fucking bullet yeah? I liked Andy Dick there. I don't know what happened. I don't know if she partially eight him or I don't know what happened. I don't know if this unlikely animal friendship turned into that was the state at the Neil Young unplug aw nobody told us we can go hang out at the soundcheck come and it was the beacon theater or something like that and he's he was super chill but one of his guys was not super chill so we just like there's no one in the room just like the soundboard guy and Neil young getting ready for his unplugged and we like like what are we walk in and just like sit down. Here was a town north and literally one of Neil Young's comes into the war against Oh. We're with we're on M._T._v.. I don't fucking care yeah but we're on M._T._v. and we're on M._T._v.. We got booted out of the that. Oh that's such a did you get to hang out with San. You did not get to hang out now. I think we ran away crying like we were the state of course we're keeping a low profile. There's like eleven of us in an empty room. Don't cover some Morrissey songs. I think their voice today the last half of action who des for ten ton truck crashes into love that by your sound I think I think the cover there's never goes out and be tight. Wouldn't that be nice. It'd be so tight who I miss my friend Richardson. Oh God on. I know she's got a Fox under your though every day. I said that like she's dead. She's very much alive. She's very much done to America Oh. She said she became a Brit like she got married a Brit she. It always seemed like this was going to happen. I mean just before I look at her feet every day. She's got a Fox who sits yards a fox or sits in your yard in the guy she married was in the band Jean Martin right who who she had a poster of on her wall when she was younger. She didn't a nasal having whirlwind romance. Have you had her on to talk about how it doesn't feel like anything yet. I wanted to the problem nothing. She just accomplished everything she ever wanted to do and usually back to that. We're back to what we're back to never feel so what is the cure for that by the ways it just to accept that this idea that it because I think we've been conditioned probably cinema shirt to think that they swell of music that does not happen at all new you like so just to put it in the Ivan Raymond Universe and at the end of ghostbusters they they they stopped dozer staple marshmallow man falls over Walter Pack then dad did a dead everyone's holding up signs at a certain point they just have to go back home and take a shed or or like makes them back. It's just like <hes> but the idea that we think that these moments are going to be these like seminal and it's but that's why it's the pursuit of the thing it's not paying which is why although or getting the thing thanks should not be as disappointing as it can or just keep that soundtrack ray Parker Junior Sandra around to play it to remind yourself oh I should be this is where dance down the street for a second you know I was listening to the power of love. That's the power uh-huh and just remembering how they had asked if my is that also sports how they'll parallel was back the future. Oh I'm so sorry yeah so if I remember the behind the music story that they had asked Huey Louis to write the theme to ghostbusters. He said No. I did not so they basically ghostbusters is pass on that he because he just didn't know I you know stupid and so I don't know if he thought it was he didn't know and so basically the Ray Parker junior song is is almost quite literally I wanna new drug by Huey Lewis and the new clothes and so I think there was a lawsuit. I don't know what happened. I don't know maybe Katie US up. So then went back to the future that was eighteen eighty four so for ninety five you know went back to feature came out. There were like hey do you want to vince you abso fucking because he got fucked on Ghostbuster F._X.. Feud between reporter junior and who lose I would watch every episode if they could make that happen Ryan Ryan Right. If you're listening yes please report junior Lewis doing doing the okay ghostbuster Song Lost Song Lawsuit In one thousand nine four Ray Parker junior signed by the producer ghostbuster developed the film's title Song of the Lewis News similarities between ghostbusters and I wonder drug according to you with Louis especially damaging since ghostbusters so popular Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Lewis knew he was ultimately settled out of court Lewis Estate of this experience with the producers ghostbusters. We're indirectly responsible onto him getting involved in the nineteen eighty five movie back to the future our that here so what do real fast. I'm just GONNA <music>. Remember that then years later we got to see Hueys Weiner in that Great Alton Film. Was that movie or was that no that's altman. Oh Yeah it's called a short short short cut short shorts what you want. You don't want your data movie called shortcuts cuts but I believe it was wasn't it was an more had her bottomless scene for a long time and Huey Lewis had his weighing out for awhile okay so here. Is that what that movie was about. I can't tell you at all would that movie was about except there's all kinds of Wang's and okay okay so ghostbusters theme kidding might have to trim repackaging. I actually had the ghostbuster soundtrack which has <hes> <hes> so many other great songs on it. Doesn't I think it is a pointer sisters Song Yeah. There's a lot of okay so this is goes mustard which will hortas over there. Oh my God is is a lot so we'll listen to this for a few seconds. No one was asking but thank you for telling us. They're like okay. I want to do all ghostbusters and also we we're glossing over where the part were junior says. Hey relaxed girls. What he does wasn't the girls who likes the girls here laxed girls? We can't be doing that guys right. I want boom boom boom but the the baseline is identical even the same. Oh my God busters in Montana something way in your neighborhood who you go to call pasta change the tempo something good GonNa call busters. Eh He settled for a lot one fucking love Huey Lewis. He's amazing. He had the balls to put on an album urban called sports. which is that's insane? Album title think about that already call the record. I got it sports album title. What's it called literature? I met Ray Parker junior and I think the Black Panther Premier and he was so nice. That's a great namedrop so it just makes me feel like I feel bad but that's that's too close. Its Way to do this. No okay. We'll go fuck yourself then. We'll just make it ourselves. We have a funny story about something like this. which as we wrote a Jackie Chan wanted to do the pacifier okay I was his idea? He wanted to do a movie that was like he Jackie Chan love the sound of music. It's his favorite movie. We WanNa do something where he's Maria with a bunch of kits. That's incredible so we I figured out that whole story it made way more sense Jackie Chan obviously <hes> it became a vin diesel movie after the Tuxedo came out and flopped but then Jackie still wanted to make the movie so he just made a movie called the spy next door which is basically every single single word of our pitch and the whole movie of the pacifier slightly retooled but it was crazy because the passive was his idea right so it was his idea to make this movie about the spy who lives with the idea from the idea the of back from himself. That's he kept me. I don't feel in general is every everything else. Good things are great good man. He's a really good tummies. Love you two pieces. I love you back. Always delights me always delighted to have you on the show. I I think one of the reasons why you get along well. I think you guys might have the same birthday. Is it August nine August. Yes we do. That's why we're Leo's don't it's unlikely animal. Friendships is an unlikely French Leo's and Centaurs the Sagittarius turn 'em what are you. What's the date November Twenty Third November twenty third nice so I think I don't know how astrology does click sure and then? Let's look what Andy Dick is because he was somewhere in the middle of us at at to some spring break. I just remember anti gotten to the van at spring break with just a giant job of Tequila or something sure and that was the first time I met him and I didn't know if he was a comedian. I didn't know if he was like a grip on the show. It was just as guy gotten the van with a judge. I told him in twenty winter solstice right was January twenty. I know December twenty first yeah. You're the best thanks for having me Ronin Boylan Bridge Avril riddles available everywhere but if you get it's now available if you get it at the Barnes and noble site you get <hes> there's an exclusive edition for Barnes and noble. That has a whole bunch in the back yep it. Maybe a hole in the back. It's got the whole trainees manual which was very fun to right so yeah so so we're just read some of the the Ronin boil. I want to new drug one that fall to make me thick on that moat. Make me crush my car or three feet. Thick is what the words are yeah so why not remember those drug really beautiful. You know try to do the Brendan Gleeson thing where he does a little bit of that purchased a little bit of a Lisp yes economists. I'm sure if Donald Perfect Donelson don't don't don't ugly and Donald but Donald also has the best American accent. I've ever heard he's got to go to American accent is astonishing. You didn't see David Wayne's movie from last year. Futile and stupid gesture don't crushes it. He's gray. He's great and everything I'm excited for your book Tomlin. Enjoy all sign that when it's very gorgeous brought a pen please please sign your book. Please sign our guest book as well. There's a lot of Irish lower on the front now with anyone from the Leprechaun apricot community reached out to yes about on fair representation there certainly going to it's very mature. We all know where gold is Tom. That's perpetuated myth. Enjoy your spirit. Oh you're the best this was a delight. Do you feel better about I live here. Yeah sure you can live here. Do you feel better about going to be like the Alfred. You could be took a night when when you were so when you when you live at midnight I promise promise Alfred I'm going out. I'm telling you allowing out. I'm going out so so I could live in the base going here to make Hashtag Dick jobs and just built start building strange weapons in the basement. GotTa go out. This very solid idea. ASHTEC sat gets very yes. Do you feel better about the cat thing now I do. I can't believe that I've never talked to anybody about it's been let's see what am I forty eight so it's been forty ish forty three years that I've never mentioned this anyone that I watched a cat explode. I feel like you're gonNA mark your life by two event horizon. There's been horizon is interview before you opened up about can exploding cat story and then now after that I feel like a really gonNa Start Click and now maybe go. I'm going to get in the car. I'm Dr Right over to Ivan Reitman's office and just tell him about. I even remember that day that you told me that they'll be sucked. Well guess what Sir Sir could you ever forgive me. I was Rav L. Apart in front of my eyes and then he just starts weeping openly and then you find out like that's the whole hug it out. That's the power our time so much fun. That was the podcast number ten eleven with Tom Linen. It is time for Word Salad wrap today. I thought maybe I'd I thought today we should talk about cat health because that that has been the last couple months and also we were just. I thought it would be good to share the story because we didn't know what the fuck was going on. We're still not entirely one hundred percent sure and we think we know but just just because we didn't know and maybe this is if anyone out there who has cats who adores them as much as we do that you should maybe this will be helpful for you if your cat does the same thing because it was fucking horrifying but I you say in the podcast but in a few a couple months ago a new bes- just started sneezing blood like just like and it looks like it looks like someone sprayed a shotgun a blood <hes> like on on the bed but that wasn't even as bad as it got no so a couple of so a couple months ago when this podcast was first recorded sneeze blood a few times ultimately where did it land ultimately they just has rhinitis landed that you know because he he's older he's thirteen now <hes> and they said that he middle aged for cats right but you know he's considered middle aged an adult cat <hes> and I'm also considered city cat we lived in New York and condos before so since moving Los Angeles and he has little Taddeo. He's developed seasonal allergies. Nothing nothing too dramatic <hes> nothing serious but intern he does have a form of rhinitis other than that. He's in what I've been told by multiple bats because I have had second third fourth opinions like I would for myself. I probably overly protective deductive. We finally we were having troubles of couple months ago. We finally settled on a really that we're very happy with so we're all good there so we don't need any suggestions on that front but <hes> so yes he has seasonal allergies so we managed to get that under control and fixed any female good until until we had to earthquake th recently in Los Angeles and oddly the earthquakes <hes> not oddly I mean this is just what happens when the earth shakes itself around shakes up a lot of dust and a lot of particularly in foreign earn particles that have probably been settled on or underground that have now been kicked up into the air so there's Little Patio Spacey's screened in but they're still like Dustin Shit right and he's he's tiny as you know a tiny tiny tiny knew exactly so what the vet has theorized because he's been seeing a lot of pet owners in particular cats and very small dogs coming in is that there was inflammation already in his nose because he had allergies and then all these particles foreign particles were kicked up he and held these foreign particles and pollens and that sort of increased the inflammation which caused an erosion down to his nasal artery which in turn it ruptured which is a real fucked up thing is horrific. I I'm still getting over it. I mean he became the middle of nine incarnate of Reagan from the exorcist there was blood everywhere. I didn't know what to do. It was horrifying he was he was it was pouring out of his nose. He was throwing it up because we're going down his throat and he must have been swallowing it. It was everywhere it was traumatic. It was awful and so when someone's cat start sneezing and this and for some reason always happens in the middle of the night. I don't know what that is. Why I'm just thankful that we were home right? 'cause I can't imagine I want to go there. We haven't been home. We were home so it's fine obviously if if your cats start sneezing blood <hes> take him to the vet immediately don't wait don't even I mean you can go online but it's not going to be helpful just go to the vet because they're going to need antibiotics. They're going to need and he needed a lot of care because he was unable to eat. He wouldn't eat because he couldn't smell anything and so. Why don't you give folks a little recipe at home? I have a couple recipes. I wrote them and I did put them on a new Lydia had depend that poor cat down who is a great cat but he does not like be. It's very hard to administer medicine to him and she basically had to pay him down and and syringe food in his mouth for a week feed syringe feed so what's what's what's the recipe of food that you pumps down in a few do I actually heard from other people that had had similar incidents online to get out this kind of Gu called neutral hell <hes> and that sort of like a high calorie thing I was mixing together and I even more calories it wasn't eating and he was rapidly losing weight and it was just you know another terrifying afterthought after everything that happened <hes> so I you know I had <hes> you know I boiled some cubed chicken and <hes> chicken bone broth and I squeezed a lot of the Neutra cal in there to add extra calories and I was syringe in that into his mouth for about a day and a half grinding it into a paste right. Yes I blended together after that so as a pace syringe that to him for about a day and a half almost two days and then I started <hes> melting down his dry food so I soaked it in warm water <hes> for about twenty minutes and then I used a whisk and I was blending that down and I gave that to him for about half a day and then I went even further and I started adding half a can of canned food to the dry food mixture that I'd turned into this slosh and then I was still adding in the new Tomlin's Neutra cal and I of is managing to at least get food into him and nutrients into him <hes> and you want to make sure that there is water and not because when they can't smell and their noses are paying their also not drinking yeah because I guess evolutionary they would need to be able to smell what they're eating like dogs or not as visual as dogs they can see the food they do know that it's there but if they can't smell it they have a problem walkway and so obviously Lydian and I are not vets. We're not telling you what to do with your pets. You know your own. You know whatever you do is your own choice. Just that's sort of legal disclaimer but as horrifying as it was finally after a week he thanked God started eating on his own and he seems seems to be like well on the road. He's he's eating. He's eating now. He's he's he's well on the road to recovery. He's finally he's finally better but himself again. He's got bright. I just wanted to give anyone some hope who might be experiencing the same anything because it look you. You think there's GonNa die. There's no way this cat is going to be okay with this much blood shooting out of their body out of their face but you know it which is why you should immediately get them to vet <hes> sometimes you do need a second opinion. I mean unfortunately the first place that I took him to just shot him. Full of a bunch of steroids put him back in the carrier which was mind you covered with bloody vomit and they were like oh you know those gurgling sounds and yeah <hes> don't worry about it. He's fine. He's he's fine just taken home. He'll be fine and I called you after I loaded them in the car. The cat is choking and howling and still vomiting blood and at this point he started foaming at the mouth and I was like he's he's not fine. Everyone keeps telling me he's fine. I don't know what to do but in turn it was a miracle because we found these amazing. That's who are taking care of him and I also get him back to full house. I also think it's good because what I said to you on the phone when you call it and said I don't don't care what they said. He's not fine. I'm taking him to another vet for a second opinion. <hes> you know no one knows your pet better than you know your pets so if something in your gut is telling you like this is not this is not right. It's okay to get a second opinion. It's okay to just make sure that you're <hes> if you know something like you you know when something's wrong we all have that you know gut instinct and when you know that don't let someone tell you otherwise because that could be a grave and fatal mistake. You're could be yeah but it also it worked out well in this case you know they worked out well because I trusted God. Yes yes yes yes. Yes and I'm glad you did and I told you at the time when you were doing. I'm so you know this cat better than anyone so you take take him to get all the opinions in the world. If you need to and you're right because the second you brought him into other vet they were like Oh my God back back into the I._C._U.. In their clinic and thankfully they hooked up to an I._V.. Fluids anything something called Heparin and they had them put on oxygen and they were able to stop the bleeding at the clotting under control and able to begin the healing process because realistically he could have choked and suffocated and died. Gosh I know well now. We can finally now. Everything's good get some sleep our data okay so we've just been on. We've just been like on sleep. Watch where you're just. You're asleep and the other night you just here in your like I got. Was it okay all right okay. He's okay yeah. I know when I when I moved around a little bit much less when the cat is happening. Who's in the house? Just I mean I live here too. It's just me I'm haunting our house. We're preparing for one day future theoretical babies. Maybe yes yeah yeah. You're you're on alert. We're on high alert and hopefully they don't sneeze blood because that's horrible thing witness so that's that's it. Hopefully that is <hes>. Some of that was helpful for you. Those are the things that we did again. <hes> you know we can't give you official advice because beds medicine in the law but you know hopefully sharing our experiences. We'll help some of you. If you were going through <hes> your own your own pet stuff and <hes> and hopefully your pets are all happy and healthy and you're happy and healthy and we appreciate you and thank you so much for listening and <hes> we'll see in your ears next week those Tacos. I'm going to say that every time you know that is that is my phrase for the end of this month's. Those tacos folks get in there. You have to understand we just we just made tacos the.

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Tom Lennon #7

ID10T with Chris Hardwick

1:07:55 hr | 8 months ago

Tom Lennon #7

"The podcast number ten, ninety, ten, ninety, one, thousand, nine, hundred, eighty episodes Let's talk about the ID ten t community, which is you events that I detect t dot com if you WANNA share your thing on the cork board or thing of someone you know or maybe you don't even know the person but you're like it was a great thing to share share it. But this is the thing that the person made. So this is from Lisa who writes I, WANNA, promote my new podcast, my husband, and I are in our forties during this Cova time we've had to move across state lines, our children, and move into my husband's mom's basement. But that didn't bring us down I decided to use his free time and check something up my bucket list, which is doing my own podcast on our podcast lyrical breakdown, which is a great name. My husband and I choose this song breakdown. What we think the song means to I love it. I is a great premise. We love we both all music and are having a blast doing this. I'm committed to doing episode week for a year even if I don't have many listeners although I would love to have a few more listeners I really wanNA show children that if you WanNa do something then don't be afraid and just do it i. also want to show that you're never too old to start something new here here Lisa I applaud you this. Great, idea. A great idea for podcast great name for a podcast and I. Love that you're doing something constructive and and and you're making a thing like this is this is the thing that I always say people just do it express your thing make you think this could take you directions. You could never even have fathomed before and and also is someone who started playing musical instruments in their forties. I appreciate the comment about you're never too old to start something new. So I applaud you I, appreciate you, and thank you. Thank you. Thank you for sharing events. Dot Com or anyone else who wants to share their thing with the Community Cork Board. This episode is Tom Lennon the original guest we would call him. Tom Lennon is guest prime. He's he's our our number one guest on the podcast. He's been on several times. I've no Tom Forever. He was one of the producers of at midnight. We've worked together on a million things we met when we were both snotty kids working at MTV and the nineteen hundreds and. I just love them to pieces. Love 'em. Tom Tom has is someone who has such a high output of stuff content. He's he writes books. He writes a series of books called Ronan Boyle, which are great. Young adult books he is in a band he's rights TV shows movies he acts and things. And by the way, new episodes of Reno Nine, one one are on qube right now there was a part won before. Now this is a part to it is available on Qube Reno nine one one people always say Tom Tom much more. One one it is done. They did it these are short episodes too. So you should watch and enjoy. The all new and a very happy to say that all new episodes of Reno. Nine, one one, but Tom is certainly someone. That I look up to he. He just he just doesn't stop to question to second guess whether or not he should do something when he gets an idea he does he just does it and then you know and that's what you gotTa do so I always recommend listening to Tommy he's got some great stories and great advice on this podcast. So thank you Tom Lennon I adore u and this is the ten episode number one, thousand, nine D with Tomlin and. We're getting, no. Word. Initiating. Protocol. Am I going to get to see you or hear you? Oh, shoot I'm sorry. Yes. You are going to get to see me on. All fine. Fan Fan Fan hit hard which may end Oh look at you. I know you've got, you've a beer I haven't I wouldn't call mind a beard. I would just call mind laziness I know. But once you do it for a little while. I'm starting to get feedback like I've never gotten before. Positive yet, but the thing. Is the I can't maybe one or two times. I've ever gotten past what I call like the each cliff where you? Where it's like Going up to it, and I can't stop tugging at it and then my bomber has. And that goes on actually for almost ten days like it's not like some quiet moment of like, Hey, this'll be better tomorrow. No, it's a long process. I know that the trick is to stick with it and I always get like. I always get probably like a day away from it being okay. I'm like a kid surrogate and I'm just peeling it off my face I. I really am not but it does look really good on your Tom. I spell. The guitar hand if we do that litter yeah, I got coconut believer in June I. Don't know you know I've been taking guitar lessons for quite a while like a year year and a half because I've been I've started doing guitar on stage in my act and. And I know you're a good guitar player well, find because I started taking lessons this. Maybe we should talk about this in the show I think we're already doing the show. Oh we already going. Yeah Al Crap. I'm already cited for some big intro. would. In colleges for Marino, mind one one viva variety at midnights. and. First podcast guest drummers. Trick. is. Notable as. The priest and boat trip. Thank you very much. We're going to credit you the priest and boutrous and boat trip the doctor in Batman where you Dr Batman, I'm a doctrine to Nolan films buddy. I'm in both Memento and Dirk night he sees you as doctor. He thinks he sees me as a yeah. It's funny Chris I know Chris Pretty well. Last year he's Inga me. I got I got zinged by Christopher Nolan. because our our children used to go to school together and I was I was walking to school. And taking interestingly, I was taking to school on the train just like Thomas, Wayne does in bat and. In Some coming up out of the subway and I I I'm walking down the street and I run into Nolan and I. Say. Hey. Chris I'm not that I'm a hero but just you know just taking a bunch of kids from my neighborhood the school on the train and Nolan's says without hesitation. You know I've got a lawyer that can get you out of that. Do you I probably if? I was like, I just got full blown zinged. Nolan if If, you're going to get by someone. And I would imagine it's probably because I don't know him I. Don't know if he's like he has comedy energy or what I'm assuming he does not he he runs a little he runs a little dry and what's so. I feel like might not get the forgiveness curve sometimes, he might want zing more people and then they're like, wait what wasting no. I'm just kidding I'm just being me using now here's what's weird I find. A test do you this to people tests to see if they laugh? And I'm yet to really find a super successful person who did not respond well. Like. I did the same thing on the on that same movie like with Christian Bale on rises. I did like a joke. He's like, how am I gonNa Bro? How wanted to cameras GonNa get tools orpheum towards me because he sounds kind of like that. And I was I was there standing excellent I said how about when the cameras about Japan I go. And that could be the Q. and he laughed really hard I was like all right cool. You're very lucky because I like. If. I had made that joke I. Feel like I don't. Feel like everyone would have been like. Okay. I don't know those are tough ones to pull off if you're not unless you know everyone already well but that's my way of testing people out to see like are we going to be friends because I did the same thing with Clint Eastwood On that, we're Clint Eastwood movie that was strange fifteen seventeen to Paris. Okay. Clint Eastwood comes in and he's getting up there. You know he's still got weights barbells outside his trailer. Yeah, just forget Jack and the barbells. Just you know are kind of from like the eighties. Okay. Yeah they're like the kind of Barbara's where you can slide. They're like square weights and you can slide them to be different amounts of weight. Oh, I see right right? Yeah. So. Yeah, Clinton on outside is tour bus, which is kind of an old tour bus for his trailer. He's got barbells that if you found him on, Ebay, would be best offer. Shipping. So. I'm sitting there with Clint Eastwood and I'm like in the scene you know is like It's Geno fissures in it and Judy Greer to funny folks. There's a lot of funny people in that movie which is rooted. and. I'm like maybe because Judy and Geno were there but I was like. Fuck it. I'm just GonNa try something with Clinton. Let's just see how this goes. So I'm sitting behind a desk principal. And I said GonNa Eastwood of Never. Really, said anything to him yet. He's like, Hey, hello. Hey. Yeah. That's that guy s up from the audition. Or something always says. On I said Hicklin. overthink but is there any chance that my character would have a large digital raven on his shoulders perched on his shoulder for this whole scene? And Clint Eastwood just went. Like. Even. Dirty Harry. I mean you just got a test and see like how weird our people yeah I know I think I think maybe you have a you very natural comedy energy and I feel like if I did that, it would read more like I was trying to get attention than you. Try and get attention to and I am just you know what it is is it's my way of. I'm scared. All. Comedy is this. Don't you think I am I come into situation? I am frightened. Of everything as I think most people are all the time I certainly am all the time. I've got a meeting with Arnold Schwarzenegger on Zoom later today. And I'm GonNa make you. No of course. No you know how I roll but I'm GonNa make a joke. To get over how scared I am all the time and that's what we're doing. Everywhere we go. Isn't it? That's what I'm doing. Yeah. You should say I love you and Judge Dredd just see how. See how it flies. Actually he was on the podcast a handful of years ago and he was delightful is a fascinating catman. Yeah. Just imagine. Can you imagine? Yeah. Can you imagine? I mean a lot of ups and downs and stuff but like can you imagine like doing everything you ever set out to do pretty much. Crazy well, and but that is that is an interesting. OFFICLE A, I've been to your house you did that. I mean an interesting thing south looking under him because. because if The people who can deal with it it really does like. You know what was the ratio of them chasing something because they thought it was gonna fix them versus people running things because they enjoy doing them and the people who really tend to enjoy the process tend to fare better and the true what will feel like You know each one of those goals were going to somehow make them whole and then realize that's not really how things were. Well, that's really Upset Schwarzenegger was fucking great on the PODCAST and super open to talk about whatever. What it was you who told me because you had talked to him and I was going to solve bird and you were like, Hey, I have arnold recommendations of the best Salzburg Restaurants, which was the Golden Hirsch that restaurant in Salzburg at the golden her show. I remember thinking Dacian remember and I remember thinking man my life is like I never think here's what. I never think my life is cool based off of major events. Right you know like when the book came out and did well. Wrote a book made the New, York Times. Bestseller list I felt legitimately nothing. At no feelings. But then when I was eating at a restaurant in Salzburg and I was like this was a recommendation from Chris hard work too hard work directly from Schwarzenegger I was like, Hey, man, this is life is cool. Is Weird life is near so like a good restaurant recommendation meant a little bit more to me than yeah. Also just the fact that you sort of. Tossed off Oh. Yeah. I was in a dark knight rises and momentum I mean. Those are those are cultural touchstones and and those are other people saying, let's not let's not forget that lieutenant dangle is a also a cultural touchstone for people like you've not just been in other people's touchstones. You are you are at him by you are a touch you have created a touchstone began the state to these one because I went on I never. been on red bubble there's a website called Red Bull. All the T shirts although exactly and I. Somebody had said there's like a great like new goofing t shirt on red bubble of lieutenant dangle. So I went and looked and I was like, no, there's like twenty. Like. So it word a couple I'm not sure if I can wear them feels a little weird but once a cartoon of me, it's not really me. It's like a cartoon of me that says, you know like genuine ostrich three payments I was like I guess I think I could wear that right or is that a weird thing? What you wear to yeah, it's it's you know somewhere in a box. Only crew jackets from singled out which I've never went gone starting to make you gotTa uneager. or be weird got up can be weird. The right at the right event. At the right event it's hilarious. I have. Never worn where we've been living in we have a place in Wisconsin that's where we're living for while we have a place right down the road from where dungeons and dragons was invented Mr Nerd. Oh my gosh. Yup but I brought I have a bunch of show jackets to like Damon. Wayans. Got Us all made for season one of lethal weapon these giant high school letter jackets that are made out of like nine kinds of leather. Huge patches and it's like heavy armor. Yeah and it has also my favorite thing about it says like lethal weapon season one. and then on the front, it has my name it says Thomas. I was like. Where in the world can go wearing a lethal weapon fancy crew jacket that has my own name on the front. That's a that's a baller move. Really says like. going. Into A. Pizza. You know what I mean. Hey, it's me Thomas this you remember. Thomas but we'll get. So your job at the TV version of Leo gets I feel like it'd be fun to wear like I would totally love to wear like a major dad crew jacket like I wanna find what's the weirdest one you got because in our house you know that Johnny was in. Boulder right. Django. Jennings Milly in. Bull Durham. Sue. Bull Durham Swag Oh my God she's got all the Bull Durham Baseball cards, which is pretty cool of all the characters one of which is Dany Gams. The magician rush, you remember the one of the young baseball players Durham is Danny can't believe I did not remember 'cause I don't wear any once when I saw that movie but I think in in the house, you've got some pretty neat stuff in the house in the House I think one of the neatest things we have, but she has to like original Bull Durham jackets. That Romney from that movie. Yeah that ARE PRETTY NEAT? Dad's pretty great. I mean also she has a connection to it for me. It would just be like young I'm a I'm a dopey fan of this thing or I don't know man of you ever don't WanNa wear that singled out jagged I will take it off of your hands I. It's because each season was a different. A different tour of ninety s fashion so number one, they're long. Wait wait we can I can I guess for season? Is it? Is it a like a sort slightly white washed denim? With a patch any thought it might be. Might be or is it actual parachute material like kind of stuff? There is one that is there was one that was like bright whites. So. That would be like a gas station one because it was the nineties. Sure. Sure. There's one that's like oh GATT was a there was a bowling shirt. Everybody was always like let's do bowling shirt. Yeah. There might have been. Yeah. There might be a couple things we did on the state. I was really proud. We always did state gifts one on the state and I still haven't. Oh, I should. I should announce this by the way the state of this giant benefit this year. On, we gave some money to like black lives matter and some cool venues and stuff. And auctioned off the porcupine suit from porcupine racetrack. But wait wait wait I. Just wanted to announces the the Mo fo who bought it for six thousand dollars never paid for it. So, I haven't back. So at some point, I'm going to auction off again for some awesome charity the the actual. That is attic my favorite one of my favorite things we did state very early on we always give weird gifts. For State like one year, we gave everybody a second place trophy baseball trophy. First you're on the state. We gave everybody an autographed. We we went and got like three hundred copies of dianetics. At the Scientology Celebrity Center in times? Square. And they gave us a discount because we were a TV show I was like, Hey, we're TV show. Will you give us some awesome absolutely we will. They were so nice. So we autographed and gave out. To. Like all the teamsters and New York just like three hundred autographed copies of dianetics and I remember thinking we're so funny. We're just the best on all. These people were like, wow, this is one of those times we're like a hoodie would've been nice. You assholes instead of. Hey. Hey. That's only funny. You you drug addled twenty, two year old. You know what? I would. I would what I would have wanted from the states is. I'm sure I'm sure no one has any more, but it was the the snuggle fabric softener. which it starts talking and then carried just like flips out to start a cheated out of an iron the cuddly soft. Yes. That was a great one I think we actually got somebody accidentally sometimes people accidentally do your sketches again it's happened and that one's somebody I think. That got borrowed sort of beginning to end by I want to say maybe TV or somebody but. It was weird. Stuff was so weird that you couldn't Redo it anyway but that was sort of an obvious fun. You know. It was it was it was a it was a groundbreaking sketch show. You know when I think about I? Mean I put the state in the sort of pet the on of really amazing groundbreaking sketches like. Python in living color kids in the hall. Stay you know what I mean. It just is just one of those ones you guys you came along at the right time. It was a, it was the nineties a new era it was it felt new and fresh, and like I just I connected with it. So well, when it was like you know like a punk rocker show, we were very punk rock and we were super super I mean Ben was so punk rock that he was like. On speed and weighed eighty five pounds and had green hair but we would you know the state had like. Regularly. We would get in fights where you know Marino v real wall one time a lot of a lot of crazy. We were very passionate and very angry. When we did you, I think you can go see we did a state alive zoom show. As a benefit and I think you can see actually Dave Foley from kids in the hall. WHO's become a good friend of mine later in life? It's so funny. Everybody was always like you guys are ripping off kids in the hall and I'd never seen kids in the hall. When. We were doing the state and I did see kids in the hall and I'm like these guys are amazing I love them. But I don't I didn't feel like we're ripping off in any way. I mean the whole was very. It was very. It felt very Canadian two. Hundred percent. Oh my God. Like canoeing throws a office building. A Limit. Today. So, you know. By the way things have happened for less reason. But after that show did were fully the joke was here's a bunch of white dudes from the state because we're a bunch of use old white people. And we're like we're GonNa see all your favorite characters from the St. Louis the guy who dips his balls in burying levonne. and. Angry. Sarcastic Guy, and then fully came in. And was like I'm angry sarcastic guy. Ono Wrong group and then, but so it was so hilarious Dave. So lovely all of those guys are so loving I I sent a I just tweeted today. Thanks for doing our show. Maybe when Cova, over what have we did You know monsters of ninety sketched kids in the hall state tour. To which he was like, absolute let's do that and I was like fuck it. Maybe what if we just really did that? Why would I mean even? A few shows you wouldn't have to do one hundred shows. You could just do five and see how it I. Mean. That is epic. That's. Yes I I I can't get it out of my head. Now that it would be like to me. It's like it's like the very, very soft version of like Peter Gabriel sting tour together. We ever makes everybody better. If you talk to if you talk to Janet and the Sketch fess folks you could start you could you could. That's that's an awesome idea. How perfect place to do it? When to sketch Felix comeback in your estimation probably a year from January right? No actually I mean I, it's impossible to know any I right? I. Just know they'd had been leading it soon to be January twenty twenty two. Yeah GotTa be no I love schedule I. Miss. That's the kind of thing I. Really Truly Miss. The most is like the weirdness of one is called like the cramped quarters. What's it called? Club quarters. Yup. Oh, folklore's yeah but borders. missed. Do Miss the live I. Miss Performing Live I don't Miss. Traveling all the time. Right. But I miss being on stage in and I. Miss Sketch Fest Sketch I was just always an amazing time. It just see a bunch of your favorite people altogether amazing on Weird Stefan Stage Age. The crowds were were encouraging of experimental style, God? Yes. Show also just San Francisco is San Francisco Man. So wonderful to be there and then yes, just the camaraderie. It turned San Francisco for a couple of weekends into like it's a college town where every college student is my favorite comedian and we're all gonna walk around the Quad and get Chinese food and do cool. Stuff is interesting. 'cause this kind of goes back to what what we were talking a little bit ago which is. we both gotten to do some really rad stuff. Oh yeah you particular have. You know because I mean I I like to work although I'm I I've become very comfortable like not working eight days a week just a I've Gone Alexander. Like I've really kind of joined like I like being and hold we got a dog and it's been my wife. You would love lady'll Vigevano in Qatar yeah right. Do podcasts every once in a while but. Your work output is insane because you're always writing like five things and you're acting in things and you're writing books and you're in a fucking bans like A. Smith's cluttered again, and again that all just a little plug for the world's best smits in Moore's cover band the sweet and tender hooligans but again, Chris comes from a place of like. Like the first you like you do stuff because it's on I to do this I want to do this but I will also say like. Sometimes, the reason I'm writing five things is because I'm positive four of them will be thrown away and not even read by anybody you know and that's right attitude right away because you know you know evidence. Ideas in this town are like all of those baby tortoises that are trying to make see right somebody's GonNa bite their heads off. Is that what you mean? All someone's going to step down honor they make it into the ocean and then you know it's Like it, it's very, re only the only a couple will make it through which is why there are so many. Make a shitload of turtles make shallow attorney, shitload turtles, and by the way, some of them will be third olds with airline line deterred yacht. You know that's part of the process that domino right now. Right now I, think I've gone the other way. In the COVID lockdown which is. I now, right so frantically I feel basically like in the ham depart Hamilton where he's like, why'd you right like running out of time? Maybe it's because I turned fifty two weeks ago. Happy. But but as a fifth year, old writer comedy writer and screenwriter that's basically like being hundred and fifty. Like to the studios never when they all everybody looks at Woody Allen and Annie Hall and he's got like pay us and a giant Hasidic. Hats and they. He looks like the most Jewish stereotype you could possibly picture. Has a writer if you if you look through the Lens of the movie studios, I would look basically like one of the golden girls for how old notably the golden girls were very funny. So running and actually they weren't as old as they looked. especially. Still getting might have been the youngest one by far by far. Apparently, they look older. Have you been to the site the brim the Brindley? Cocoon? Line. Was that the one where you realize you, Thomas, for the same like who's Older now than Wolfer Brindley was when he there's a day and I, think you have to be forty eight and a half years old. But when you're forty eight and a half, you hit the brim cocoon line, which means you're the age that Wilford Brindley was in the movie cocoon. Forty eight and a half you hardwick check check Bramley cocoon line because you're very close God. Damn. It I don't want to be on that. I own a no, you're going to hit like. So Chris, you're right now you're like young Jack and you've got guitars and you're cool. You're the exact same age that will brindley was when he started cuckoo but that's. Maybe maybe. You know sort of like how we look at yourself in the mirror and you go. Looks about right and then you look at yourself in a photo and you're like, what happened what happened for the Mirror to photo? Maybe. I. Looked like maybe I look like cocoon. Wilford Gremlin. Not Aware. Maybe none of us know. Nobody early. So you were saying, this is interesting. Yeah. But so you know I've been writing like Hamilton on a little tiny bit of angel dust during this whole. Cova just to. It's it's you know. It's crazy time to wonder like when northern movies again, when they're you know we are working on a season eight arena nine, one one. Again for Qube every time I say we're we're GONNA show for Qube. Get to do like the handle the next three minutes of people being like what? Is it Q-bert. Oh wait. Are you doing this show for Culinary Arts? And like We'll give me so much grief and I'm like first of all queries mostly fucking all people do is beg me for more Reno nine one once then we did them. For qube and then they're like, well, I'm not GonNa do it for quit because it's a dumb name and I'm like. So, you're not going to watch a show you like on a service that. frigging talking about something that someone tweeted that to me I. Said you in person no no no people. No. I don't meet anyone in person but. But on the Internet people are like. started responding because everybody's just like what's equity is equity when you have a part that feels you your swimsuit and then you air. Shut up. It's a fucking, really decent. Here's a little bit of a throwback Throwback to I. Think it was not necessarily the news that's a great S- Niblett. Nickel it. Is when when he failure pants with Malibu? Its memory at a singlet. One was a singlet. Was I remember I went to fraught slits on Fridays. Those the sketch. Oh, I thought they were not necessarily news. RUN MEAL is as a little kid. Somehow got we came to California we drove from Chicago station wagon air conditioning went California. My Dad knew somebody at ABC News Chicago and they got US tickets to a live taping of Friday's cabinet. I'm going to give you a music bed for this going to California remember remember. Funded. Okay. So station wagon debts got his arm out the window dead gets a bad sunburn and Arizona real bad like third degree blister. Attended. As the musical guest Tommy two-tone. Nine, eight, six. Nine. The And when Easter meets soap operas star. Anthony Tony Gary and he signs an autograph that says, Meghan Stay Sweet Tony Geary, and I remember thinking I'm going to be in sketch comedy and meet people like Tommy two-tone going on a grownup. And you know. The momentum train. because. Really. I. Think when you think is the businesses about our job the job Oh. No no life. But now I realize what you really work for is momentum. The momentum you know, and so what you you're planting so many seeds for things that you just have this constant trainer momentum plan. On any. Single Audit. We never get to see. Fossil you. Know you're very right. One of my the best piece of advice. One of our very good screenwriting agent at Uta Greg McKnight. People. Whenever somebody would give me script even if it was amazing. and they would say he would you please give this to your agent is an amazing script and even if I read it was amazing he had a really interesting response. which is he said on no I won't read that and and he said, here's the thing I don't represent scripts I represent writers. So, if you had ten scripts to look at. And had you know stuff like that? You'd be interested but like the notion of one great script will get you in the door somewhere via. Sure. That's happened. Sometimes. But that's mostly not what happens mostly the same people that generate tons of different work. It's interesting like when you need something done. Always. Go to the busiest people you know I. 'cause the busiest people like if I need something right away I go to weird al.. I'm like hey. We do this by tomorrow and it'll be perfect and I'll have it by tonight because it's just like. There's the people you know that like get everything done right away because you know. I said Els a star speech and the Hollywood boulevard like the way you do something that's the way you do everything. And the people people creating a ton of stuff I always creating a ton of stuff well, but also. You can't have a to overactive of a perfectionism gene I. Don't mean like you're not worried about the quality of your stuff I just mean that obsessive. Like it's tough. Of is on inner critic out of the way and getting that judgment and allowing yourself to like look whatever this is going to get it out in the world I'm not going to judge it first and that's very interesting detail about. Tying. Back to the beginning of the conversation, which is. Having to be two directors was Christopher Nolan and one is Gwen Eastwood? Who basically give you one take? And then maybe safety but often not. Like usually unless there's something like the camera catches fire while you're filming there like like Nolan especially as just. Very good. All right moving on and that's the thing is. Knowing that you're done. Or at least you're done for now, which is a huge step. In, the process because you can endlessly pick up stuff you're working on and go back and just start fiddling fiddling and I do a lot to yeah and the danger with it is. You forget sometimes like if you go back and look at, go I shut out of this, all I just thought of a new job it's like yet but. It was as a matter yeah they were all like you. You're you're looking you're looking retrospectively. With, fresh with newer fresher is in. So yeah, you might have a different perspective, but it is you really have to be comfortable with like. That's what I did at the time and that was rats the time. You know and it was interesting because like I- endlessly joke that Ben and I that are worse film that we've ever written as Herbie fully loaded. And it's funny because it's like it's one of those ones. It's just like low hanging fruit. It's an easy job to make it just sounds. Stupid but actually there like before the world shut down, they were showing it on a Saturday afternoon at the new beverly. And so I took Ali Musonda go see it. Like well, fuck like there's some cheesy style for a little bit but it's also. There's a lot of it. That's really kinda great and it's like, yeah, there is a thing about getting a little bit older and embracing like, yeah like. I definitely. Oh my God. I've got some cringes state sketches for sure that like I just can't stay out. Not, a ton not a ton but definitely got a couple like. I dread the day the son watches me singing like the Boehner Song, which is. What at the time I was like this is so funny. Game, owners, I know. A trying to think what when I was wrong guest. I wrote a sketch one time for a variety was a bad. We used to always have radio had fake commercials like fishy battered by the taste like fish and like all these things. And one was we had a baby tastes like soup was a it was just fun weird sponsors I. Remember we had a board game. That was called. Where's the Lindbergh Baby? And it was about The board game was a clue where you had to find where the Lindbergh baby had been kidnapped to. and. I remember I was really mad that comedy central would not let us do what they're like. You can't make jokes about the Lindbergh baby I'm like it's nineteen, ninety seven. And then later I realized no, you know what they were right on that one yet but but you know you're. Twenty. Two years old or something to yes. Twenty on vive I was probably twenty. Oh, in Vivo on. It yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But but you know it it's it's good to be able to look back at stuff and and have sort of a marker of Oh, I got thrown since then yeah, that was okay. But if you a on it. You just need to be looking forward and looking ahead and and that you never stop for too long to overthink things which I don't. You know I think when I was younger I used to think. Oh you know overthinking well, that's something that smart people do and I I feel like. That's necessarily true. I just think it's the thing that obsessive people do and what is. Sometimes. Plus mixed up. Sometimes you just have to like, but that's the other thing, and this is something that I said to myself a lot which is a dumb thing, but it's an Improv thing and it certainly UCSB and. Janet everybody would say, which is your first thought is the best. You know and this is a huge. Thing to get to but I get down to the point not only when I'm like rioting seen where piece of dialogue or something. Do I realize I off your I felt was the best. But I've taken it to because I'm. Hella superstitious just like what pants my putting on my don't think past the first decision just made a decision you're done. Now move on. But. It was funny. So just trying everything you gotta try everything my famously my worst sketch ever wrote for the state. While, two one was called the dream if north it was like a fantasy island where you could get very very reasonably priced dreams could cut it with. If it was if myth of dreams. Oh my God I remember pitching that sketch and Ken Marino looking at me like you most going to punch me in the face. He hated the sketch so much that he was actively mad at me and he was right by the way And then another I pitched I I wrote a sketch baywatch spoof sketch. And I remember just like that feeling of pitching something. By, the way you WanNa get great at writing. Get a group friends together and pitch each other stuff a couple times a week. It'll tough. Make you so tough It also gets you ready for the movie business, the TV business ninety, nine percent of which is about are you good at pitching people? Don't WanNa hear your idea. And also art who don't see it the way you see it one hundred percent and art invested in it that way and here one hundred pitches day exactly. Yeah. So so the other worst my famously were states there's a couple of pretty bad ones but I had pitched a like a Baywatch spoof that was just awful and about his cringe if you read it now actually Jim Sharpe, the producer, the state gave it gave me the bay watch spoof script back. And he'd written on the top because he used to be a high school teacher he'd written on top. I think you can do better. Seeming. I don't like. Really, humiliating felt really Shitty and then twenty five years later. Ben, I actually wrote the baywatch movie. So I was like you use any of the jokes from it not really no but it was like that's the thing like. You gotta you gotTa make some turds. If some of your turtles are going to get to the ocean yeah down. But how do you? Because I really do believe it is about making yourself right? It's it's it's easy to it's easy to write when you're inspired and you got shit to say. But I like how you're not. Roy I don't know what I want to say. I don't feel like writing I would rather be playing video games I'm staring. How do I push through? Well, one thing that I'll I do a couple things one do something dramatically different at least for a little while. I. Noticed you have the guitars similar thing with music go do some music or something or what I do often is I will write something else as an experiment. So this is a little thing that was taught to me by like a item mentor. I don't know if I've ever talked about this but. So Lucas hedges the super famous actor in every movie right now. His Dad Peter Hedges, who's a famous playwright novelist when I was at theater camp with cary Kinney and John Hamburg and matters like old and a bunch of folks in like Nineteen eighty-seven. Lucas hedges father was a counselor at my camp. And he was only like five six years older than me but he became very actively like became my mentor about writing. And, he'd be like, let's go down to the. Let's go down to the Lake Michigan and write a one act play. And I was like that's going to be terrible and he's like. One you don't know that to. Ninety minutes from now, you're the author of a one act play. Yeah, it'll probably be terrible but some of John Wears placer terrible some of my pleasure terrible fuck it in an hour and a half, you will have a one I play. And then it'd be like. To mix it up. He'd be like, let's all sit and like do like almost do Katie scene study like a like a still life class where he? Put something in front of you, and it'd be like right about all describing this in all the ways by what it isn't. Or you know he was just IDA real sort of dead poet's relationship with them. But he also taught me that writing every day is a really cool thing to do. And if you get stuck, mix it up. Time, you read it tried to write a poem. You know like write a poem. There's a party brain that used to read poems at school all the time it works, but you need to nudge it sometimes. So that's what I do is win when I. Have a light cycled myself into a little trouble corner. I. I am I I mean has blown up talking about. Cabins a lot gen-x reference bank right there squarely in my I don't I were worth I'm a tiny bit older than you but yeah. But so it's like do really do try something else because right now like this year I wrote. A bunch of things just speculatively. Horror TV show. That I got zero feedback on anyone and if they did, they did not like it at all you gotta be okay with that to you gotta be okay. Yes I spent time on this and it might never see the light of day, but the process of it was worth doing because I grew in that even even if it was incrementally or took a giant leap forward, there was growth that happened while I was doing that thing. About disciplined or even if it was about just getting of. Propel me to the next idea you got better. No matter. What happened you got better at doing whatever this thing is that you do whether it's writing stand up whether that's making movies. Even Mean sears nothing better than seeing yourself in stuff. That's it's always fun to see yourself in a cool movie shirt that's happened to me maybe once or twice. But Luckily I've had the experience of getting see myself in not amazing movies like Sixty Times And it's like what you learn a lot from that to be like, Oh, no never put never make a face like that and never like. It's just it's just about not like when you when you sit down and you and you think about your idea whatever it is i not the ending is or God is just now it seems dominance like well now you're now you're judging it before you even put just like just spitting it out and see where it's out. Is like you're gonNA figure that stuff later. I was wondering what people get really excited about like the dialogue of something is really neat. It's like the dialogue of your movie will be changed by the movie star on the day twenty, five times. The one gives to fucks if you wrote a clever ellipses. Like at all. Out of the way now, no matter what it is it's so funny like you'll be a movie with that you wrote. And the movie star will be like. I don't know. Should we let's try so let's we can do better on this. Don't you think and like your gut is always like. No we can't fucking be better that was amazing. I wrote. I wrote that it was amazing. Like. You have to be. Okay. Ego has to be okay with that but now but again. Do you sometimes feel like it sounds it sounds like you feel like you're maybe on a machine that you can't ever hit the pause button on well I. think that's just who I am I. Guess you know to certain kind of realized like. You know maybe it was right around the state and it was a very relentless attitude we had in the state for sure. which was we shot everything ourselves. We edited everything ourselves. We didn't ask anyone's opinions. We certainly never asked permission and we were just like fuck it were always moving forward. Always. Be like devouring everything and then I think, yeah no, and then I think. You know a couple spells where you really aren't doing anything because like when I lived in New York, I was never in a movie for eleven years. And all I was trying to do was be a movie actor. You know and it was like eleven years went by I was finally had like two lines in Jon Bon Jovi movie. Totally true. And speaking of jump Jovi here's the thing about great people. Did a movie with Jon Bon Jovi had one day of work with him. shot on the. In this leg strange like homeless shelter. Ran into him. I was super drunk five years later. In the lobby of the hotel in Cologne Germany, where I was filming the movie boat trip. Always comes back boat treaty Jon Bon Jovi walks into the lobby sees me like thirty feet away and goes Tom. I was like. That guy is awesome. Some people's brains function at a different level like Jon, Bon Jovi Blue. That's pretty amazing. It was really cool. That is pretty amazing. Yeah. I, mean it. It's no surprise that the people who like really have that sort of like lasting sixty s are, of course, a lot of swings and. To try stuff over and over and over and over and over and over again because the things that don't work typically just fall away people don't you know like it's sort of like at some point in your life just sort of becomes a highlight reel. You know you're not going to remember you know a bunch of things. The diaper didn't get sold or didn't do well or you know like it's like, no but you you know you take the swings and one time. Ben Ben Grant was standing backstage at something with Tom Cruise. WAS PRETTY NEAT. He's a you've hung around with him a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. He's been on the on the podcast. Panels of them he's always been. He might be the most. He's one of the most engaging guys in the lovely Nice Guy. So Nice. But we were standing backstage. He's so cool when you're hanging out with them that he can get you to like. Do Dumb stuff that you would only do. If there was a really beautiful girl you wanted to impress something like it's like you end up doing just some dumb shit around him. 'cause you cannot because he's like you're hanging out with maverick. It's you know. Yeah. But so like we're standing backstage at this awards were all giving awards or to somebody some nice thing. And we're standing there with Tom Cruise. His his security detail came in ahead of him. Walking down the hall and Ben I had done a bit used to always do you probably saw we did it at comecon stuff and our big like Eisner award presentation with a balloon drop. That's like three balloons. Because, we just can't afford a good balloon drop. So anyway, one of our balloons was on the ground and we're backstage in Tuxedos and Tom Cruises guy comes is coming down the hall, this guy size of tank, and he spots the balloon on the ground and he dove on it and snatched it up as if it were improvised explosive device. Did he think it was like A. Man TV series Joe's early. It could have been like the jokers. He's filled them all with some crazy laughing gas. Exactly. Yeah. Well, I don't know but I know Tom Cruise Guy was ready that in case that was a scenario because he got that balloon up and out of there with the efficiency like I'd never seen maybe Tom Cruise does not like clowns in the doesn't. Oh in this guy knew that he was like scratch it out of here the only way we're standing backstage and this great Australian singer was playing music onstage and Tom Cruise turns to me Advani went. Live music. Right. And I was like. If I was in a bar and some guy tournament a Jimmy Buffett Parrot had shirt was like live music right would have been like, okay man. But Tom Cruise Tournament went live music right and I was like you are so. Sick man and that's exactly I. Would, have said, it is elevated. It was elevated by the fact that it was Taio Cruz. Didn't steal your part in rock of ages. Yes. He stole my rock of ages. By the way you know that I got cut out of that film speaking up I was in it. Briefly I've only been out of a couple of movies but I was cut out of rock. You. Know I I mean. I don't know maybe I'll cut this part out because I'm sure people in the podcast before because I blab about it a million times but he knew that I was in rockaway just because we reminded I moderated a panel with him when you're a comic con. And I haven't met him before he was a big surprise guests and he came out on the panel. Can I apologize this and? and the first thing he says about two year about about to kick the panel off, you know some dowse people are freaking out and he goes hey crystal. Aquino's when. He said united have something in common and I'm like Brie sure we don't I could not. You know he's Tom Cruise and I'm me and he goes stacee. Jaxx rock of ages. Know. That I do my research because I played I was the few brightest of Whiskey right? Where was it the whiskey? We did it with my school king and then we did A. Couple clubs in L. A. and then went then we moved into like a like a a a production studio like a stage like a sound stage remedy where people. So I was in the first production of that and but but he obviously he knew that and And I was like, you know I'm really at a loss for words but then all of a sudden he just goes. And then he looked at me. And then he goes you love is. fucking singing with talk. So. When you talk about like surreal experiences that you never would never be able like your fucking fifteen year old greenwood mouth out of your got it but you got to try it out with these people you got to try it out and. To get around the top he he tossed the pitch like I wasn't I. I was yes. Ending Him. So I like, that was ten times better than me like those. had been like Tom Cruise I wanna know what him going the fuck you talk about but it was those experiences would be really think back like, oh, my God like some really amazing. Wonderful. You can find a way when you're around super super super famous people to make them laugh without being creepy. It's a real win. And also Been in our screenwriting book talk about this a lot like if you're around super famous people and you do not ask them for anything. It's a really lovely gift that you're giving them. Like. We made it a rule like me and ben like when we meet with like movie stars to write the movies and stuff, we don't accept even water from them. At all. Thousand dollars just you know. You have it. Jaylo. Clearly. This palace. Got To be so dollars or WANNA bottled water. Yes. But no we got. Diamonds. Ride ourselves on because we had a producer come in one time and it a little bit of a Jason Alexander from Seinfeld. We're meeting with Hutch Parker at Fox and a producer who shall remain nameless. Came in with us on a project. And the assistant said, can I get you guys anything and he pulled producer pulled out of his pocket a little a little teabag bag and he was like, can I get some hot water for this? Please And it was like he brought his teabag then he took off his shoes and put his socks up on President of Fox's coffee table number feels. Just, like What the? I, know there's an order. By the way. It did. It was actually I don't WanNa say it was because you'll know immediately who the producer was. But. It did. We've been going out this wrong go in and ask for everything. To ask for everything your feet up on someone's desk in your. Well I would like going into someone's office right now just gives me like it's so weird. You'd be around the area but. But but you really you know in in terms of like. We look back sort of career accomplishments. It's yes. There are goalposts where it's like Oh you know achieved this or I did this we did six hundred episodes about midnight or you you were in this movie Chris River but it's really the experiential things that. Are the most impactful those those experiences that you that you have that as a as a fan and as a human being your tuck away like Holy Fuck. Fuck did that happen like those are the things that you don't want What I thought was really interesting is So when I did odd couple which was. you know critically panned, but we did like three half seasons of it and Gary Marshall. Was it every taping always there and ended up becoming kind of close with Gary Marshall And then when Gary passed away a couple years ago and went to his memorial, which was this insane event. Bette Midler Sang Wind beneath wings. Oh. My Gosh Bright Adam. Sang a song. The the eulogies were Tom Hanks. Julia Roberts. Jeffrey Katzenberg Michael I mean it was just like the speeches were just insane and you realized from the crowd hanging out afterwards like all I know would get what Gary Marshall mostly did. Is He made tons of friends everywhere he went. Like. That's what he did. The main thing that he did was he made a ton of friends everywhere he went and I was like if there's something I would look at to try to sort of emulate. It would be. The real takeaway from this kind of lifestyle of like project to project to keep trying stuff. Is. A people you take away with it and also like just work on stuff that you is fun. You know if you have the option sometimes times you know sometimes that's about sometimes you work on stuff and you need to work you know. But but even in those cases, how can you make it fun if you if you have radiate that then What else could you possibly want or do you know what I mean? So like I did the puppet master movie what year and a half ago it's basically like an NC seventeen movie with me and Yudo Cure. And murderous up. It's it's one of the darkest creepiest things I've ever seen and I can't even say that I can really watch the movie. It's so disturbing but Johnny, Pelicans who's in the movie with me We've you know maintained a great friendship and her husband and I are Powell's and it's these are the best things. And like that's another weird one to like. Judy greer and I were in. This really really. Strange movie called Pottsville. With Michael Shannon I guess you give a plug. This is the only movie, and this is weird of my entire career that has an actual zero on rotten tomatoes. And to have a zero that means you have to have enough actual reviews to get register. Got It. But they all have to be zero. So. So that's kind of a win, right you know it's interesting piece of Trivia. So the movie is Potter's Village Michael, Shannon Judy, greer Ron Perlman, Ian, McShane. Oh my God, what an amazing cast and me. And it's a movie about Michael Shannon. Pretending to be a SAAS watch. and. It's one of those when you're making, you're like this is really fun. This is going to be great. And then later on you realize, oh no this just turned into zero on rotten tomatoes. You know what I mean like. There's another universe where that got one hundred like you just don't know like you killed but now I'm a now I live in a world where I can I can text hell boy whenever I want. Yeah what's up yeah yeah yeah I mean it. The thing is you you just never know how things are GonNa win you know you don't know how a movie is GonNa land. So many things have which is why we watch a lot of we watch pretty much any kind of horror thing we can get our hands on and I feel like you know we can be a little judgy all you know there weren't enough there weren't enough this there. Was Too much of that or the part that make any sense. But in general I always kind of land on but it's really hard to make a movie and they fucking made it. You know what I mean. It's basically impossible. It is. It is. It is astonishing like the baby turtle thing that anything ever gets made and then it's made in his good like that's like, Oh wow, that's an even. Credit and then it makes you look at things like. Then you realize like look at like hotel. Or something that's like how like then you get movies that are just great and you're like, well, that's now it's really almost impossible. This is just like making a sand painting in the wind somewhere because like. I don't know yeah. anyways. So many things only other somebody forces working against you, but you also have to somehow have everyone. Came to work in concert. Every accidental. Best thing that ever has to happen has to happen all at once and somebody said all the things that to me all the things that happened when you're writing and prepping a movie those are all true but you should also remember that you're you're shooting a movie you doing all the same logistical things while there's a high of money that's on fire right next to you. You WanNA platelets split, did you want to play a song? Guitar. If I like to learn to terrible than spread out but I just you know. I Have I love that you've been taking lessons I i. started taking lessons also about. Last. Year at about fifty. But. You know what a cool thing is. If you look at like Neil per from rush. Neil pert at like thirty or thirty five Russia's fully established and a huge. banned yeah. He like took a full year and went and just studied and relearn how to play the drums in a totally different way. which is like it's kind of impossible but he did. What should we do? Let's see how about you want to learn a little Smith's type thing. Or. Just teach me any kind of little tricky thing. Anything anything you want. You can see it could be a song or a templar like. I Dunno guitars. What do you got there? says. This is a guild that I have. That was actually signed by Lindsey Buckingham Gaga's. Now we did a bit at the for the MTV up fronts We came out and we played go your own way. It was us and we were on right before fleetwood Mac. No joke. Jesus. Christ. So. As I wanted, we came out and we did like love unusual. Isn't the ride Kinda poops we just none of us knew the words that damage. It can fries chicken. Like A podcast guests that I think would be amazing newly on. That he's the guy on what's up with that that they never get. Want to do. Let's do. Let me see here what what's the hardest thing you think you can play. I have no idea I mean I don't really know everybody knows most guitar players when they picked up a guitar especially those cool folks around they just play like I always do. You mean you when you're Guitar Center move. Azhar Center. Tar Center lick that's supposed to show like my other one. Is like Joe Satriano. That You play. You play. Looking. Book. Centre. Here's the Worst Guitar Center. Whenever, ready. Sorry. This is really hard to play. The. To Joe, here's a good one. Here's a good one to sit down to. Okay come on Gimme your finger I finger on on the ninth. INEX- finger on the second-string on the nine. And then you're going to ring finger and hammer on the the top string there. Age Appropriate Lick which is the opening of today by the smashing. And then just do the same thing with pinkie. So you're hammering exactly the ring finger and Pinkie of. One, two, three, four, five, so. My problem is I have small hands. So it's difficult here same here. Same here I got tiny little tiny little hands, but you know who else knows Johnny Marr. I can't I I'm not. I can play guitar in front of people little because they started doing it on stage which a crash course in like gets really intense. Yup, I can't. Like I'll practice piano all week long I'll do facetime less than with my piano teacher and my it's like I've never used my hands before when I start playing level of perfection fear is so intense. To play in front of people that getting super. Every time it's exactly what happens when you start the difference between practicing something, and then you're like I'm going to record this on my phone and you will fuck it up twenty times in a rally start to. How about? You look at. It you'll get on picks. What do you need I? Don't work here by the way I'm just your testing this out. Working on. Sewing anyone who knows. Her. Nights under to scales. Yeah. I'm working on me. You know the blue, the kids winner where you're in. Your whole neck. So Nice. Great. Skills is everything scales you scales over and over just Can't do I can't envision all the way down the deck like. Down to like Oh then I think it goes you know like I like when I watched people shred up and down the neck I'm like. No form of dark magic like how are they doing that? On everybody's watching, this should go look at. The clip called Stevie Ray Vaughan, bricks string. Seen. That before they fucking. Talk About Giving Zero Fox. Having done something. He never stops playing a solo. What are we? The song never stops for one. It's one of the great clips of all time Google to now tonight kids stevie Ray, Vaughan breaks a string. It's getting any fucking finishes like it gives the whole thing never he never even missed two seconds. I've been no danger of ever being able to achieve. Practice a little bit every day. Just like I know that song so well because you're looking at me. I looked I immediately blew it would take their time with Johnny Guitar there. that. By the way when you can't right when you can think of a joke. It's also just super important to wake up different parts of your brain. Is Funny I was I was actually I talked to. I was traveling trading calls with Janet a couple like a month ago. And she called an answer, the phone and I was going to do this. Without trying to absent mindedly because I'll just do this while I'm doing other things. So I don't think about my hands and she goes what did you compare New Zealand? God I am a doodling. I'm so sorry. So. Actually. I used to win the world was open. I. Used to carry a Martin Travel Back Atar everywhere I went oh yeah. One of those cool fits the grade. There's so skinny and thin but one thing about them is a special because I used to smoke cigarettes. There's a lot of times in your day reduced like should I do with my hands that's not flaming hot cheetos or cigarettes or any other dumb shit what's something I could do? Though. Keep every part of my body busy. Leading qube. Not. Part you making a swimsuit. It's It's also not Hubert. It's also on your phone it's basically free. So please stop hassling me about these. Maybe the Cuban job you have you been talking about like, okay. It only it's Chris had only happened why it happened twice but it was like enough that it really stung. You people you have more reno nine, one one. Now it is on copy and their digestive there booking six seven minute episodes. Oh, my God other. The best actually think they're the ideal length for me. With A. Major adhd. It's perfect. They're like they're like six seven. One. Glad you're writing. Nothing, I'm Gregory Moore. Is there anything else you WANNA promote like. Oh, you know what? No? No get the. Get the royal books if you have kids and you like reading or don't like reading, then get the audio books run boil. I'm super proud of him. Backers pieces I. Hope you're one person soon. Doing in the podcast again, you're the best. Of you Mr Facing Person Miss, you stay safe by by. Id. Gaining complete and joy.

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289. Doug Benson, Our Movies Friend

Hollywood Handbook

53:53 min | 2 years ago

289. Doug Benson, Our Movies Friend

"Get off me Vermant. Oh, I'll just check into SIV. My harmonica works in this moving doggone. Well, I wasn't talking to you. I was telling the varmint what was walking over my foot in this dark. Well, manned, I not reform thought that you was putting the moved on me. Now man might feel that way. But it's just a varmint. Well, what are we gonna do out a worst took? And as well tail the end of time oil did. Well, I guess there's a nice thing. We can do is count the blessings were thankful for personally. I am so comfy. I wouldn't want to be stuck in a well and any other outfit. That rare. We're wearing Mack welding glows, and they're all wet, but they still are performing great MAC wilderness. A premium into central brand that believes in smart, there's premium fabrics and symbol Chapman. Well, whatever you're wearing right now out there at side as well. Mac weld ins better tell you I'm head to toe back. Welded better sacks shirts underwear. They look good they perform well. And I'm glad I wore a silver underwear. That's naturally Aytac. Macro Bill that means it eliminates odor. So I- stinking up the whale. If you like your first pair, you can keep it, and they'll still refund, you know, hug. I'm getting a hug from the varmint right now. Oh, that's a nice forever. We love wearing these clothes. You've got your sweat bad. Did you wear every dog all day day? They've rigging a sweat pants and their Ason the test. And the website is so easy to use. For twenty percent off your first order. Visit MAC Weldon dot com and enter promo code the boys at checkout. I am at. Where was which I met? Right aid. With missing link, and we are enjoying. Box of tissues bone. I picked beating on beef. Oh, don't have though. So that's the first thing that when we go to Rite Aid missing links down says, do you have beef and beef phone they say, yes doesn't ask? That's right. And that's what they had. It says one beef. Oh, please. Just one today. Yeah. And they say sorry. We do not have beef bone perfect. And he says, that's okay. Just a box of digits. Okay. So we are splitting a box of tissues because it is it's knees season. Even and I think he has gotten in his head. I think he's doing it like to be cool because he sees other people having them using them. Yeah. Like pulling out tissues. And so like he was like doing it for me in a way. That's like what he sees is the thing after him using them the next human. Yeah. And behind him the link, that's. Missing that we know about the old one. Yeah. Not using it. And he goes, I should be more like this next thing. So this makes me Doug, do, you know, do, you know missing link missing link missing link Doug loves movies, you love movies. And so he loves movies, Sean, Hayes loves movies, this movie missing link. Maybe you saw the free poster. Where is the voice of the don't knows character? Zach I do know missing link. Me personally don't know Zack. But missing link, I know, and maybe somewhere, maybe there's a missing link between us to connect these two ideas. I see. So you do know this guy. Zach does the voice I interested in the do they let him sort of play around a little bit. I don't know. I mean, I was you know, it's one of those things where. You know, Zach is the last place. I'm going to learn about what movies is in. Okay. You know, he just let's it happen. And that's okay. Because about it later. I don't know him. Well, I'm sorry. They tell you this. But he has like an Email list that I on just as always talking about his project. What's up with up to I'm in this whole Larionov movie? Catch theaters this weekend. Yeah. Make sure to get a front row seat. No. But I guess maybe I just don't maybe they're going in my spam. Or something I pray that. Yeah. Used these messages very short, very odd. Sometimes they'll actually send a little video of himself saying what is he wants to say. But. Wow. Attaching like like, an Emo v file Email the movie. It's a land loves movies too. And he knows you move Ashley's. To appeal to you. And I think that's really sweet. Yeah. He's been on Doug knows movie. So if you times, but it's hard to get him on there because he doesn't like to you know, he doesn't like the part where he has to you know, compete right movie knowledge in like a normal because he doesn't pay attention. Who's in movies, right? He knows what Bradley Cooper's doing. Let's talk about. This is such a good psych way. This idea of movies. Oh for me. I'm like slobbering. Now. This is the segue. So good. This is the Hollywood handbook you mentioned before the show that you are aware of the name of the show. Are you aware that it is an insider's guide to kicking and dropping names in the red carpet line back hallways of this industry? We call show. This is all that last part in pres-. Like after Birdman. Birdman? Expected virtue office. Yes, Birdman take that critics that would be a very smart way to do it. What an imprint the seas? It's very close to Birdman. I mean, you've identified a lot of similarities because we also believe that this new generation only cares about going viral. Right. Are you sick of that dog? I am. I also am very guilty of, you know, having being lucky in that. I was early viral viral. You know early. So tell me. Viral because mine was just people would pass it a pass copies around and stuff. And and blockbuster video. They would every time. I was in another town. I you know, I saw blockbuster. I'd go in and look for and it'd be missing from that spot on the wall. 'cause you know, how they just have him sitting there on the wall y'all just take it to the front and check it out. It's always gone every time I asked they always say, yeah, we second. We got that. In somebody ran in never came back. You're talking about faces of death. Yes. Hi me. Yes. That was the original way to go viral was people renting your VHS tape. Yeah. And just also it was like a thing that people would share with each other. Like, you know, oh, this documentaries about this guy gets high all the time. Just like we do. It doesn't seem to be a bit of that much of a problem. Like people tell me all the time that they that's how they break the news to their parents as they watched that movie with with them. Mom, dad, sit down something you need to guy I'm super high. It's like it's like an almost famous where they play we're off to look for America, the Simon and Garfunkel song says see I wanna look for America. The mom goes on. Yeah. It's like that. You're so similar high as the documentary documentaries movies. There's such good segue. Perfect. You you you have this show. Doug loves movies. You love movies. We this show is also about movies, and sometimes TV and books. We were raised by TV. And now we watch movies, but we've been kind of dancing around each other for a long time we start we thought about calling the show, Sean his loves movies. You remember? Yeah. Before we got in trouble. And so it feels like every time we're going to do something like do like like a game. That's about Leonard Maltin. You do it would just before us. And so I wonder if like you possibly have a mole or something and like have idea to do a show, but movies just before we're gonna do it like somebody infiltrates your team? Possibly because you've got a lot of people here behind the scenes are underpaid. It's a big team. And it's a big team a double agents who are for sale. Yeah. So I could you know, perhaps for two dollars. That's all I would call name your price. Jordan. How much would it cost for you to betray us? Fully and leak every idea we have betray you fully. Yeah. Foale the trail. Oh, okay. Well, I want both now say there's different grades of what you're willing to do the price for a partial, betrayal and a full betrayal, partial. Ten grand? As that two dollars. Ten grand? A really good mole new and. In about six months that price will drop like the two dollar deal. If it's still on the table, I'd like to get that to two dollars first and then for full trail, can we like fifteen I don't need betrayal as much as I just need somebody to keep tabs on what they're doing on this show. So that I could either steal their ideas or get mine. Every. Yeah. The gentleman now don't give anything to the little guy. Yeah. You stop on the throats of the Shah's at Hayes is little world. Now, we have to George eight dollars for getting you to confess that was a deal that we worked out before. Matt these all these prices are great prices are deals are great around here. Is this going out of business sale? It seems like it. Yes. I don't know if you've used the Stitcher app. No what happens on it. Yeah. Not good news. Right. Yeah. It's not ideal. So first of all, it's physical Rogin popout Scripps suck it. I think there's a special price where that could happen. So the app is physically hotter than the other apps. And so even just like dragging your thumb along it will potentially hurt you. So if it was like, a physical pain element bald and using that at any given time. The search function like well, it's secret. You search for the guy thought, maybe the title of our show is too long for us. Yeah. You the Hollywood handbook. And it's got to kick button. This industry, we call show business too long feels a little long for her banded feeling Apple's career. Do you? Also, you have to search it with the exact bladders and its case. I if you don't type exactly and there's a lot of punctuation chases. Yes. Tara banks point, there's even more. No, it's bad. So they're liquidating it pike cast, by casts, this detract. Yes. This is a going out of business ale where one by one you'll be listening to a pike cast. Then you will kind of hear it recede. Knowing the volume we'll go down as it's being dragged off. Car. It's being strapped to the roof of someone's car as long as you're on the subject, I should say that you can get all the. The pay wall episodes of Douglas movies, if you are get Stitcher premium. Oh perfect. You're in the family. Yeah. We made a deal. I made a. I got you know, I'm still independent after all these years. So I got, you know, deals evidence during a hands in lot of, you know, a lot of things so glad I'm not running for political office or something because you'll be like that guy a lot of people and they all benefited. You're like a political cartoon. Like, a billionaire octopus. What's your what's your most successful? Add partnership on this show who God me. God spacious. No. Yeah. This is a fraud question for us. What's going on? Your wrist is ringing in quip whip is calling. They will back in a way luggage is the most lucrative one that we've done because their suitcases so high tech I didn't necessarily mean lucrative, but just more or less like the ones that come back for more. Because obviously, the that you give out is working that kind of also away luggage because that was a partnership that did pull the ad at some point and asked us to delete the one that we had recorded and released and yet they were. So like the connection between us was so strong that they did come back. I won't say year later something like that. Hey guy chef Kevin here. They did come back. And I believe they have an ad end this up Assode. So it's XX. So they were they were in fact and. I don't like to use language I say early especially on the show, but they were addicted to what the dictate. Specifically ways did with it. When he read his away luggage at. He was bringing so much swag to the ad read that they went out. They saw what else out there, and they decided it was worth the tradeoff. Even though it's sort of like, we're read lingo was stroking for. Yes, he was stroking. I'll tell you. They haven't knocked on my door. Oh. Say that. Okay. I don't think they think that you know, stone is in trivia nerds. Are you know, the right target down delicious luggage? Well, they've gotta get it. Would you call lavish? I said. Hi tech. Wait is it a smart? Do they make smart bags because smart as the dumbest thing you could buy right now because you can't take them on planes. Well away with disagree with you say. Away. It's called away because you got the luggage away. When you get to the airport get it outta here. But they'll bring you ever kind of luggage you want. I mean, well, that's part of the issue that we are like luggage superstore. I've apologize. If I'm losing them. Now, we don't have to do the real life feel like I'm going to never hear from them to. Okay. What's the what is the advertiser that you found has been your forever, boo? Other than we'd which I mean is. But that's you know, I hope that the people listening to my movie and food podcasts are like, you know, still think bring enough to the table besides just to, you know, just being high, but the other show the, you know. Getting Doug with high is just really the whole point. We almost. Escape mess. Sean what happened one of you? I believe was is a quitter or had quit. Yeah. That's true. That's true. Yeah. And the other was just therefore not interested or to do it. I hurt my thumb. You know, sometimes you try to light it. And at the angle is like if you when you turn the frigging Bong would tell light it, and you're like turning the white the Matt the lighter down sure laid up and the flame goes up, and it kind of hurts your thumb little bit can't sometimes. Yes. Yes. And that. Turnoff that ended up. I so basically decided the time it would take to record a pipe cast and go the hospital every single time. We do a pie cast was not gonna just like the time investment tween, the lighter them and the hot Stitcher app. Which were of course, dragging over every address our thumbs were getting melted to the point where I wasn't going to have any fingerprints to identify me. And then how am I gonna know which crimes I did it which cuts? I how do you do that? How do you take the thing and turn it down? And the way that the flame also goes down and doesn't go up. Hurt your thumb you have to go off. But are you of signed whole sort of angling deal? And you're like, okay now, you're saying do the dogs trained that to the side. There's water in it it will. And it does come out. Yeah. But you know, there's water in this glass and look at how like look how much can lead it around. Wow. He's holding a glass of water and the water water is not coming out. Yeah. It's just you know, I think you fake toner personal kind of magic that I've been on Doug loves movies. I didn't indirectly. Oh, here we go, my friend. See didn't he and told the story of me propose it to my wife inside the movie sex tape? Surely you remember surely come up. Came on the program show frequent guest. Yes. Great guy. Right. Wrote a young adult book called crap kingdom. Wow. Yeah. I gotta remember that the name of the book. But you don't remember these great. He's the comic relief in winter soldier and Verizon commercials. He come to jump of the dog. Anyway, what about him? Well, this show and told your story till my story, really, I guess everyone's telling everyone else's stories in a way, did you hit rewarding that that story was well received people laughed or people blast off or what J make you sad that people were laughing at it. Listen to it. Oh, yeah. Went to the. Yeah. Went to listen and heard people losing. And I thought oh my God. I brought a little more joy into this world. Bam. Just a Ray of. Sunshine for some of these ports fucks so had slip that one into the win column. Yeah. You did it Saint Peter's writing that down that's one in the plus side. Yeah. You're gonna talk about that at the Pearl lease. Oh, yeah. And that's awards in Evan early gates Roy's give out to everybody gets an award when you get there. Yeah. The Pearl necklace is. Guys thing is when you start to notice hair loss. It's too late is just a guys where I'm now, I'm talking to do you want Baltimore to pop up or do you want something to do about it? I for him dot com is a one stop shop for hair loss skin care sexual wellness for men. I'm looking at the website right now. It has a very nice color is sort of peachy color and the the copy says guy against staggering odds. Two things happened. One the universe to you. Let's walk at our full height honor, the forebears have a smile and for God's sake flaws. And then it sells the product then the product you get and this color of it is coming the site. And I would like to say that they. For him dot com. Solve a lot more problems that Mike company for hips dot com. Okay. You're coming. Does solve problem. Absolutely. Yeah. One of the problems here. Look they're talking about sexual wellness. No need to beat around the Bush, rigging getting your weighing heart. And yeah, I have a company called or exploded or being a war be able to finish explode. I have a company for hips dot com. It's only for hip people. And it goes on hips, it use a clip it is a tight clip that you put on each side of your hips. Okay. And I believe it will sort of focus the circulation and blood flow toward Riera area. Yeah. It's to the penal shaft. Yes. For people who don't look for him says great. If you say, hey, I don't wanna take a pill. I would rather put like a giant chip clip on my waist on each side. And I think it will squeeze the blood towards the shaft. Yeah. I haven't seen it work. But just picturing it, I know it must. It. It's called four hips hips dot com. Your hips. I it's hip clips. It was such a jazzy name hit clips. Yeah. You don't wanna call it hip. Clips would like people to accidentally type in my sight when looking for five heavy, okay? Hibs connects with real doctors and medical great solutions to treat hair loss. No snake oil pills or gas station counter supplements. These are well-known generic quote wants to name Barron prescriptions to help you keep your hair just go to four him dot com and enter a few quick questions than a doctor will review in prescribe you and products or ship directly to your door. It's a great website. It's how I learned that penis is spelled with an I and not a you ordered out by listeners. Get a try about the I just five dollars while supplies last see website for full details safety information because hundred into the doctor pharmacy. Go to forum dot com slash the boys and for hips cost hundreds as well. And I am working on one looks like you're just wearing a belt. F O R H I M S dot com slash the boys for him dot com slash the boys. But doesn't work with a belt. If you have about already. Away offers high quality luggage at a much lower price by cutting out the middleman and selling directly to you don't I thought of something about it. I'll see that is fine. You can think about anything you want. Well, I actually have come up with. I think a pretty good ad campaign that they should be using. Why I can't might cost a little bit of money. But I think it's worth it. Okay. You ready? No ready. You can't blame. Sally. Hang over a set. An open course for the website. Say I want some new luggage to Clive. My free kid air play and charge phones are and I tried. Oh, lord. I've tried to hide their k every on sizes in both sides to carry ons. So that's a little stick saw g- get enjoy that. I'm so sorry. Bows of really nice song. Are you so excited? Well, I think they'll be excited because they I think whenever I am involved in a way and everybody gets very tense. Yeah. I really didn't want you to do anything and you're not allowed to. Yes. I know. No, we're going to have to find some way to disguise the fact that I was involved. But when I came up with that song, you have to understand Hayes. Did you come up I'm selling away first? And then realize that the last part is carry on. Yes. Oh my goodness. Choose from nine colors and four they offer high quality luggage and much lower price cutting out the middleman selling directly to you. Choose from nine cars and four sizes the carry on from song the bigger carry on both of which are complying with all major US airlines, the medium or the large. I got the bigger carry on it in my house right now, all suitcases are made with premium German polycarbonate which is lightweight and on. Rivaled in strength and impact resistance and the three hundred sixty degrees. Spinner wheels guarantees move ride. Best of all both sides of the carry-on are able to charge anything that's powered by USB court and thanks to their lifetime. Warranty of anything breaks away, we'll fix or replace it. Try it for one hundred days. And if any point you decide it's not for you return it for a full refund. No questions asked comes I. And now I'm so scared. The way I've really scared that we've we've ended such great. Great charges, my cell phone, sometimes I'll just charge myself put him house with my suitcase for twenty dollars off a suitcase visit away travel dot com slash the boys. Twenty and use promo code the boys twenty during checkout. That's a way travel dot com slash the boys. Twenty use promo code the boys. Twenty for twenty dollars officer case. Kevin. What's going on timeless? Inelegant? Yeah. What's going on? We got a visitor in the room. This is Jeff Kevin before he was right out there talking to knocking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why chef? So we used to Bernez another very rewarding relationship for us. And you know, how you just run out of ideas for anything to do when you're doing content. Are we had this bit where Kevin was making blue apron meals? And so he becomes chef. Kevin. Okay. Do you like that? I like it. I mean, you could have sprayed some Pam on it. So it wouldn't stick. But you know. But I like it though, I am I like the fact that he says it's like, it's not something you call him something he brings brings brings. Freedom to create. Yes. Hi, guys. Chef Kevin here. He's a branding genius. And the hair does kind of look like he just took his hat off. That's true hairs doing some interesting stuff today. I would say mostly in the back. Chef Kevin is maybe aware of the back. Kind of had hair thing going yet. There's usually a story last time it was that he was up to late building table, and then didn't have time or no then he had to take a bath the night before. Then didn't take a shower the next day. So the hair was talking about your high today. Kevin, what are we dealing? What's the story today? Okay. So I took a shower last night because playing a new tetris video game. And and then I woke up today and went straight to work certainly knew you didn't shower today that I could have won a lot of money betting on. Tetris game. Let's dig in on this were you teddy. Sleep. He sweaty after I had a wash off physically and mentally. I'm not good. If India games. Upset you needed a motion shower. Yeah. But I feel like a million dollars. Now. Have you thought about even if you don't shower, maybe just splash a little water just on the hair area the head when you're going professional situation like your job? I well. Yeah, I guess I can only see the front when I'm looking in the mirror. So I just kind of assumed the back is, okay. Better safe than sorry approach though. Maybe if you know that you're not going to wash yourself at all it kind of looks like a bike helmet are like bikes. It's like a bike Earth Day is it really. Yeah. I walked I walked here. Hey Hayes with so I did some shit for the earth. I love walking. You're welcome earth. You do. That's how you that's how you keep it together. I totally agree. Yeah. Do you have any characters on your shows? I have had way your character. Dow is that what you're like a funny? Chef funny chef character. Do what is this character? He's he's a care draw. Right. A question. Mark. Do you actually cook? At all. I'm learning to. Yeah. That's good. You catch up to your nickname? I like it. Well, you know, once you get good at Scheffer. You could come on my got food podcasts. Let's talk about that. Because I love just eating food. Scam. Yeah. We set up some microphones, you know. And we just sit there, and they bring us food, and we talk about it. And you know, we go to really nice restaurants all over LA. So I've never disliked because you're bringing you their best stuff. You know? Right. And you know, you just get into whatever. Like also lot of them have fancy cocktails and are like trying lots of those so but it's a complete scam. Because all we have to do in return is a post to later that night here. You know, the next Wednesday nights at midnight is it called Douglas food or getting food with Douglas foodie. Listen, you guys I'm not that predictable those brand egg. Listen to this guy. You're right. You're also you were also right because it's called dining with Doug and care. My name is in there. And it does say exactly what it is. I don't like titles. Confused people. Yeah. SEO bay. That's why I have a short podcast called Doug Minnie's, just putting it out there. These are all minis some have been forty five minutes to an hour long. So that didn't go exactly. And that's just you talk about politics because car it's exactly what it is. Yeah. It's just get into. You know, the intensity of being a podcast can really can just takes over fully eroded. Yes. Yes. I mean doesn't the time fly when you're podcasting. Yeah. Used to. I still find it to be very very, you know, there's moments were shit slows down to God damn crawl. I'm sure that game was dad's stop or any, you know, any any kind of show, especially like when I'm involved, I find like I can be kind of stopper because I'm also mostly hosting when I do stuff, and I wanna get the thing. We're trying to get to. Yeah. Trading today. Let's let's let's do that where we fully stop it down. Some of these games. Let's do now that we're like we're like settling our differences of big both two movies pike cast lead. Yeah. Shave. Air our material UPS. We hate movies where kinda title is that that does this very thing. Towards me. And then what's also don't what's the other Bubis film spotting is that a popular one? I think it might be. Your battleship pretension is that a big one. And I just hear about these things. I don't really listen to them rules on I'll see him when I'm looking at the. Unspoiled? What's that? That's Paul and Amy Nichols. Paul share Amy Nicholson, do that sounds podcast once told me how they do. They just pick a classic and discuss if it holds up or. Seems like it. Yeah. Yeah. I have listened to open. I enjoy both of them. And yeah, I like that premise, but that's the other funny thing though, about as much as I love movies and movie trivia and stuff like I don't really listen to stuff like that. Yeah. 'cause I don't I. I wanna play. Yeah. I wanna be I wanna participate. Yeah. They don't mess it. Whether you that's my favorite things to you know, to go to when you have a chance to participate. It can be frustrating. It's like how it's hard sometimes for Kevin to watch. I'm MA because he just wants to get in there and cracks skulls. Right. So he's like, why am I going to watch it when I could be out there doing it? You're listening trivia, you're like, but I'm Mr. movie trivia, chef Kevin he can't watch food network. No. He's just like I want to be in this. I want be worse there. Chefs in America when easily be one of those well as as Ben Verena once set on the set of television show, I was working out when he had to physically be restrained from getting on a hover board and guaranteeing that we all were sued. I want to play I want to play. That's a fantastic story we bear character from the guy was gonna get the wrong actor that would have been terrible. I was going to say somebody else. So let's not worry about. Gonna say Tony Cox the little guy from Santa. I get them confused all the time they get mixed up. I think that's weirdly, not problem at it. Do we weigh the winter ballgame high doggie life, you guys have for parroted or something because I can't I don't do it. You know? Yeah, we. So prepare. Yeah. We must have. That's why you explain where is you guys. Don't have any notes or anything out to there's a whole computer. They're all over the world notes are all around the table. Compute? Why are you explained not to us? But everyone else in the world who lives listening how to play that what the Letterman game. Oh, good Lord. That's why we don't play it very much anymore. Forget how little occasional treat. Well, it's a little bit. There's a lot of work goes into putting it together. And which I don't hear your feelings when he did that he loves movies. Malls movie. He did that does show who did Letterman Wilton. He's he's been my show. I'm going to do his Maltin fest is coming up, but he tried to. So I guess yeah. And you can like be cool. Then now because like you're still stabbing buried this show is about this show. He's doing great not by not the show. He's got a whole festival, and he does a show with his daughter Jessie, and they've both been on Douglas, movies and ways his show is Kevin. What is that show still around movie still around they moved to nervous, Tom? So this is what happened Kevin told us that the show was dead really dismisses dead too. That's what happened. But yeah, they're great. And I don't you know, he's been talking about movies since you know, before I was born. So I didn't really feel like he took the idea for me. Okay. He certainly, you know, real you realize there was podcasting and doing my show like he'd he'd say. I love doing your show. Yeah. Because it gives me street cred. That's fine expression to hear coming from a old guy. You admire from when you were Yemen. Oh, gee, do the game. Oh, so the Gillerman game involves, you know, his movie review books that used to have an app and now it's not an apathy more. That's part of why we had on the show because it was so easy when it was an app, and I could just pull everything up on my phone. So now, I do it out of a book. But anyway, what happened to the app? Deep state. It, you know, the company that he had a deal with you know, would seem to be a popular happen wasn't getting the money. He wanted for it. And then, you know, Cuban games got to be rough. It's got to be hard to. They're so small first of all. So I don't know. I don't know if he has a new app or not I'm not sure I want him to make the letter ball his reviews. The you know the app that you used to have to. By from some other company. He should just write, you know, do it himself. Yes. Hire a guy. I'll use somebody to just set it all up for them. And he'll be good to go engineer. Jordan ten thousand dollars doing thing. Top defin-. Anyway, I'll try to talk to about it sometimes. So what do you say you say usually just talk about movies, right? Sorry. I'll be game is. And here's the game works because cut us more that wanna feel like I'm on trial here because I got I got the judge s cough. We're how this works, but it was very complicated to explain. But the idea is you take one of his reviews, and I read a few little snippets from it. Okay. Don't really give away. What movie it is very, you know, just stuff like Oscar worthy. And it was too long. You know, he says most movies says there too low exactly but also Oskar worthy. So 'cause Oscar movies are too long. So he's always right. Not always. But you know, I disagree though on occasion. But it's usually just movies was a lot of action because he's you know, he's older is and care about that. He wants to see some nice, ladies crying. So you read the review the his, quote, some say what year it is. Yes, I say, here's how many actress he lists at the bottom of the review. Sometimes he list up to twenty thirty AC. Actors, but most of the time is seven to twelve these this is how many actors that I go the first person on penalty. How many names would you need to to name it? How many names from that list? Reading from the bottom. So the smaller character roles leading up to the leads. So she say can even four names, you're not gonna hear, you know, if it's an eight name thing here, the top four names. Okay. As they bid like that. They take turns bidding having thinking get it in and when somebody bidding movies who. Who? Our names from the they're busy. It'll take them to get correct. Okay. And then they we eventually have somebody turns. It says name the movie, you know, like some else can into the next guy ago. I keep saying guy, but you know, there are some women on the semi. Gender on their. Yes. Yes. It's happened. It's totally out. I remember. So the guy alternative the lady next to him say name it, and then that was the classic when I was lucky enough to get Chris Evans on with Leonard Maltin and we were playing this game. And Chris Evans, actually. He actually Chris Evans actually said to let them all name it. Oh, wow. Yeah. And let her. It said language, you know, because that's what captain America says. But it was still a great moment and probably tell that story too much, and that's why I don't ever hear from Chris any more. Let's get well we should play the game. Right. Good luck Ghada. Because now that everyone knows the rules. We can play it. So you starts with a quote, so okay starts of the year. I'm looking at the book. I'm looking at the winter mom, and I'm flipping through just picking a random one here. Okay. Oh the year. Is I tell you. Where thing we discovered playing with like this. Yeah. If you if you don't hide it, we know approximately wear in the alphabet the title begins. Okay. So turn around town this, okay? See flipped nearly to the end. So it's gonna be a w x y z problem. Right. Okay. And by. Because there is a few more problems. Yeah. Careful about that. Okay. So okay. I'll turn away. And I'll say, okay. Says the year for this one is. I didn't realize that he doesn't give you actual year. He liked describes something that happened to him that year. This one says the year he saw it necessarily the year the movie was made. Yes, this wants us. Just want says the year that he had sex for the five hundred. So that's the Freising. That I'm expected to track that I didn't think he'd be so good with numbers that he that. He would keep cow either z like a guy that is like. Becky was wet it. You know what? I mean. My assumption was just that he put it down, whatever he pleased, and he didn't necessarily have to tally it. But sometimes people are they pay attention to the details. Let's say and apparently that's him. He was on his show wants a syndicated show where it was all about movies that are coming out and they had like criticism segment, and it was like a he said she said like in this other lady critic sat next to each other. And they both had paddles and a. They never speak each other at least not on camera. But they would have to hold up the one side of the other after movie was hard. It was hot or cold. You know, I said to Leonard didn't sizzlers Louis come out, and he were doing that is like yes, unfortunately, he had to say that Schindler's List was hot. Hot rating. So so mazing hot. Film. There's yeah, there's okay. And now, I say the TV Spielberg brought the heat with this one. Yeah. Say a number of care. Okay. So in the list of characters it just says, there's a million guys of this movie. I can't looking at these. There's a bag of chips in the middle table offer. You believe you. I believe that you guys even have them in there really farms crunching on camera. That's that's no good. And we're not on camera. I meant on microphones on mic. Yeah. People hate it. When we eat on here. I mean, they really get pissed off. But please feel free to have some of those dark russet Cape Cod. Potato chips special or from the east coast. You can't get those out here Kerr, right? If I can't take it like if I get really while on badly than I will a roll away from the microphone when I. The backup side I refuse to you know, cre- help runs down over his head. And just I all the chips, really interesting. So there's a million guys as is there. A critic quote as well. Yes, there's a critic, quote, it says usually I have a policy of not being friends with terminators. But that's what I do want to be friends with. Okay. All right. All right. I'm gonna of chip I think I can do it and fifty names fifty names guessing. Oh, the number of guys. Okay. No. You also have to mention how many Leonard lists. He said there's like a million guys in this movie. Yes. That's why instead of like the number of characters. So I don't even know if I can list the kid, there's oh you just by looking at it. It's just too many. No, he doesn't list the characters it's written out in the book. I'll show you say it says. There's like a million guys this movie looks like he got tired didn't wanna name all the different guys. This is unusual. But okay. Accepted. This isn't my show. Yeah. I don't know what kind of. Agree. Leonard Maltin guy mine either. All right, what years that from is that from eighty eight. Let me see. The book itself is very it's like leather bound, and it's very dusty. It's it's like a it's like a eight it's it's like the from never ending story. Proceed? So do you. I guess I win because I said fifty right? No. I say let okay I forty nine. Oh, okay. Motherfuckers. Undercutting me this. I give believe off getting scoop like this Jesus Christ. All right. I give up. Okay. I get mad at somebody on prices, right bids. One dollar more than pissing. Pissing show so fast on my God. And they just have to take it. That's what I always felt like we do for your box office game because you have to say like how much earned Ray people's just say like a dollar because it definitely made at least that much let's strategy in. So you probably can't play like anymore. Also instead of a dollar more than the person to actually say fifty dollars more give him a little sporting chance to have the number like magically fall into the into that whole. That'd be pretty sweet. Yeah. But then would you be kicking yourself probably? But you know, what? That you're gonna have to pay the taxes on the car. You don't want think about that could take your car salesman? You're gonna have to sell a car. That's what you win on the. Okay. I've got I've got to let her book now. Okay. Wait, wait. I have to name Caretas, it'd be so he guests. Okay. Okay. Characters until you stunned by. The crazy machines. Little hamilton. But she's not so little in this movie. I think he thinks that the Acland is little Hamilton. But it must mean, Linda Hamilton would think okay. Jed furlong, the Terminator. The term eight or two. The spiky arm. The mean policeman. The thumbs up glove. The sunglasses. Okay. I know who this is where so. Okay. So you're aiming person I thought it was aiming movie. It's Leonard Maltin. Oh, wow. So boschman. Doug used his power. So you have powers with your with your hand where he pet Bosch. And like a huge clump of Firkh off his head. If you ever what that dog deferred? You'll firm Nate them yell. Totally firm it up from eight or two. So. I should I do one from the now. All right. So this was an old school way to play it like when we first invented this game with me, and my friends, Brian Posadas, and Sarah Silverman would sit around and play it when we were bored and hanging out, and then eventually started doing it on those people that are. Monetize the same thing as the famous ones. Yeah. Yeah. They're just both their lawyers must be for them. No, they enjoy it. A lot of the games and various things in my shows like, you know, got from random people who are just, you know, made a suggestion, and you know, probably never gave him the credit. They deserve. Yeah. But they appreciate the just the you are doing well. I hope so. Yeah. I hope they, you know, I know I always felt that way. Like, if I got like, you know, a phone call into a radio show, or you know, got to be on. You know, TV show for some of the game show or some shit always excited to be there. And yeah, didn't feel too bad about it. When it didn't go the way of hope to do you have the book the book so year. I so it says this is from the year where I was driving home like really late. It was after three A M. And I, you know, I really don't think I was drunk, but I definitely had had more than I normally would before I drive anyway came around a blind corner. And I felt a big thump, and I never slowed down to see what or God forbid who it was that I had hit with my car. I just drove home. I checked the hood later, and there was a dent and a bit of rust colored fluid, but could have been anything. Anyway, that's what year this was an critic, quote, I guess would be a man I thought this looked good. But I don't know. If I ever actually saw it. And for the people in it says, I kind of only really remember the two main. Folks guy a gal. So what are you guys? How? Goes I I think I can do it in for. Okay. Four names. Yeah. How many there's too? You're gonna give four days to. I would like you know, what I'm excited to see that happen. Go ahead name it. Yeah. Saying name it. Okay. Ready? So you get you get four out of two names. Yes. So I don't know. Okay. Does only two names right says, he's just gets all the names. Yeah. Okay. Janine giraffe alot Cassidi troop dogs. Though. Oh. There's a bunch of people. I know but draft was that Janine Jaffa do Jimmy Garoppolo. Zootopia character. Napa know. Okay. So now, Doug. All right. Doug. It is with the Garo fallow. Where he we never guessed the movie. Oh, yeah. He gets the other naming today. Yes. Get the other name. Yeah. Okay. Vans. Vom? Who Vance mon- feeds vow own who is the other name Janine giraffe dream draft. I've it's fawn where and oh Clay Pigeons by. Hi, everyone, Scott all commend here. Host of comedy, bang bang. A little podcast that is celebrating its tenth anniversary. Wow. Ten years of comedy, bang bang. That is incredible. And we did something very very special for the tenth anniversary episode. The episode is ten hours long. That's right. Ten hours for ten years. Wow. Here interviews with CB favorites. Like, Jon Hamm, weird Al yankovic, Adam Scott, Chelsea Peretti, there'll there and wonderful people who've come through the doors like Lord, Andrew, Lloyd, Webber my nephew Todd, so many more. We also have guests ranging from our very first episode with Tom Lennon, rob Hubel all the way to new favorites. Like rudimentary north and entreprenuer so many great people there, so many great guests on the episode. I think you're really going to enjoy it. Check it out on apple podcasts, Stitcher or wherever you listen.

Doug Minnie Jeff Kevin Leonard Maltin Hayes Sean Douglas America Zach I Apple Hollywood Jordan Tom Lennon Chris Evans Chapman Zack Assode Verizon Saint Peter
Kevin Allison

How To Be Amazing with Michael Ian Black

1:03:34 hr | 2 years ago

Kevin Allison

"Friends. Have you heard of my new show where I unpacked the Thomas hardy novel, Judy obscure, it's look it's it's fantastic. Now, it's not me saying that that's not me saying, it's fantastic. That's a direct quote attributable to my producers EP is about a more innocent time when poor orphan boys could dream big hit the books educate themselves in realize a better life. But wait is that the whole story. Of course, not that would be boring. They're sexy village women in their wildly ways. There's a crack doctor selling fake medicines. There there there's pig guts being thrown about in the most lascivious manners in that is just in the first six episodes in. There's me there's me friends, Michael, Ian, black commenting about the book as I read it aloud also talking to some of my friends about how much has changed. Since the eighteen ninety s and how much has stayed the same spoiler Judy. I have a lot in common, although not so much to pig guts. Join Jude and I on this crazy journey you can find obscure wherever you find your podcasts. I tunes Stitcher excetera. That's obscure some things are hard to control like the volume at a music festival. Other things are easy to control like you're in home wifi with xfinity X Y. You get fast speeds and the ultimate control over your home wifi network with the x fi app, you can do things like see which devices are online, and how long they've been connected or said a fi curfew for that someone who check social media at three in the morning. So go ahead and take control of your wifi with xfinity X fi. It's simple easy. Awesome. Go to xfinity dot com. Call one eight hundred xfinity or visit a store to learn more xfinity internet required. Other restrictions apply. Hey, everybody, you know, that jingle the one that goes H O T. Dot com. Well, hot wire is having a contest to see who can sing. It's jingle the weirdest. So it could be spooky like Joe TWA that was terrible underwater or maybe high pitched like a chipmunk I'm going to go back to spooky H O T W. I really hot. Whoa dot com. That was spooky upload your video to Instagram or Twitter with hashtag how I hawk wire and hashtag contest for a chance to win five thousand dollars towards a hot wire trip or be a weekly winner in win a two night getaway. See hot wires social channels for rules. Hurry. You only have until November eleventh to enter. The great thing is is that fans of the show will hear it. And then pitch us their stories. And so when we go to someplace like Saint Louis or Orlando or wherever people come out of the woodwork with these incredible stories who have never even stood on a stage before. It's how to be amazing. I Michael, Ian, black. If you are a regular listener to this podcast. And if you're not aren't you, you know, that one of the things we pride ourselves on here is speaking to all kinds of people who do all kinds of things. But whether that person is a musician or a mathematician or a poet or a politician, I spent maybe three minutes trying to get those words. And hearing them out loud. I'm like too much like, but whatever you are. I would argue that there is in some respect one thing that links them all and that thing is story because story is how humans teach each other. How to be humans? My guest today is an old friend who I met when we were both teenagers, and we both became members of a sketch comedy troupe called the state which ended up having a show on MTV. And when the state broke up Kevin struggled for years before finding success as the founder of risk, which is in you, probably know it if you know podcasts, you probably know risk. It's an incredibly successful storytelling podcast, which specializes in stories that are two Roth too personal to intimate to be featured comfortably. This has spawned live shows all over the country. And I think all over the world. Yeah. Yeah. We've done this show in London. I don't think I've said you're Mamiit done. Did you know? Kevin allison. Met with both teenagers. But risk has also spawned a company called the story studio, and now a book entitled risk true stories people never thought they dare to share featuring stories from among others. Mark, marinate you Tyler, Dan, savage and myself, and I am tickled tickled to welcome by dear friend. Kevin Allison to how to be amazing. Hello, hello. So I know a lot about you, obviously. But I don't feel like I know that much about your upbringing in Cincinnati. You're one of five I'm one of five kids. Yeah. Big Catholic family. I was the fourth of five. It was the early seventies. I was born in nineteen seventy and my family was extremely Catholic very, very Catholic. What did that mean to you? Because because my wife grew up, very Catholic, and that meant something very different than the way. I understood Catholicism which was a very exclusive constrictive binding agent of terror. Well, it's fascinating. Because there when it came to sex, it was they were my mother, especially was terrified of sex, the very word sex would make her go pal. She had five kids you can bring that. I know it is very peculiar. And I was the wrong kid to have. Not to like, you know. Comfortable with sacks. So yeah. Yeah. No. It was. But everything else they were like Kennedy, Democrats my daddy even marched in March with Dr Martin Luther King at one point. And so they were very much like, you know, anti-vietnam and stuff like that. You know, they were kind of social Justice Catholics. Exactly. But they were also just very very devout and very convinced or at least, my mom that you know, there were certain things you just didn't talk about. And that we're just there was a lot of what will the neighbours think just a very puritanical worry about like our next door. Neighbors were not Catholic and almost everyone around was Catholic. So I remember from very young age. Just all this judgment about the people who live next door for just from your family. Specially from my mind like, they don't get it. Like, you know, I'd be like yet. They they get Pepsi. They have an Atari. It's like well. Yes. Because they're not Catholic. They don't understand. What all it is. As opposed to what was the Catholic drink of toy. No as opposed to like powdered mill. Oh, okay. They were decadents. Oh, yes. I see. Exactly. So there was a there was a little bit of there was a kind of acetic quality to your Catholics. Definitely. My dad was huge into all of the most masochistic aspects of the Jesus story where you know, he suffered this, you know. It's better to be poor. You know, so one of the things that definitely gave me, was empathy. You know, because I just grew up assuming that I didn't understand, you know, like, I think my mom and my dad were a little different that way. She was so judgmental, and he was so well, you don't know what what another person might be going through and think of Jesus and all that kind of thing. So so it's interesting. There was a lot of good influence like my dad was obsessed with the artistic side of Catholicism. He was always playing Mozart Beethoven and Honda l-. And was you know, we had all sorts of books of Michelangelo and Leonardo and all that kind of stuff. So that was intransigent to me. Sure. A lot of Dixon balls in that situation. Got a lot of gays. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But there was definitely that. I remember 'cause I was twelve years old when I finally said out loud to myself. I am gay. And by that time, I felt like finally I'm saying this because I had really been conscious of it from from day one. And I grew up terrified about it. And I remember thinking, okay, I've said it out loud. I guess the next step is to tell the parents and that very day sexual healing by Marvin Gaye came on the radio, and my mom came in to my sister and me and she said when that song comes on the radio the radio goes. Shut it off. And I was like, yeah. I'm not coming out there. I saved it until a week before going to NYU. I was like mom and dad, I have something to tell you now that the plane tickets are bought, and I read it to them from cards. I've read a speech to them from index cards, and 'cause I didn't want to lift my eyes to see what was happening, and she was crying. And he was like he had actually asked me about it in my sophomore year of high school. He took me out on a walk. See my dad is a very gentle guy. But I guess it's it's the case where you have a very overbearing mother, and a very, you know, like gentle, but but often not present dad he took me out on a walk. And he was like, you know, there are a lot of people I admire from history like like Michelangelo and Leonardo. And by the time, he got to Oscar Wilde or something. Oh, fuck what all the time? He got to John wall. I was. He said something along the lines of you know, they experienced love or something like that differently. Have you ever felt that way? And I think a lot of people will tell you. And did you know exactly what he was talking about it? I did I totally figured it out after hearing value of those names. But I just wasn't ready. I was just caught off guard. I wanted to do it on my own time. So I said, no. And so when I came out at eighteen like two or three years later, he was kind of hurt. He said, you know, I asked you about that. And I said, I just wasn't ready. And then my mom said will you said you came out to yourself when you were twelve why didn't you tell us back, then even and I said because you would have said, you're twelve so. Yeah. Oh, but you know, what? The worst part of the whole coming out situation was a week before. I came out my mom, and I were doing the dishes together. I was drawing. She was washing the dishes, and she had tears in her eyes. And I was like what's going on? And she said, oh, I was thinking about your uncle J C, who's a priest. And I was thinking how sad it is that he can't have intimate and intimate relationship because he's a priest and I thought okay, and then I came out and then Phew. Days later, we're doing the dishes again, and she's like half you thought about becoming. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I went to Jesuit high school. There was a priest who I never said a word. He was the guy who raised. He was the fund raising prison of the high school who called me into his office. When the focus about is like. Like, we have this seven week trip to work with the poor in Peru. I really think you should do this. And I was like how do, you know, clearly talk to other priest and yes and this kid, so I went for seven weeks to work with the poor and Peru with the Jesuits and sure enough when I came back I had a story to tell and they had me share it in front of thirteen hundred kids. And that was it's it's really interesting the whole thing with risk is. I realized once I created risk. Oh, I'm just putting together all these things that I've been doing my whole life. You know, what I mean because I ran into that priest later after that whole big speech, and he said 'cause they always used to talk the Jesuits have a motto be a man for others. And he said when you told that story, you didn't think you didn't. What you were going to do in Peru felt guilt ridden for not knowing how to interact with people at cetera et cetera. But when you told that story, you're a man for others. And it's funny that I kind of like forgot about that, you know, until years later when I started the show, and I was like, yeah. That that that was a that was an early sign to me of what to be doing in the future. And does that. Does that sense being a man for others inform risk today? Absolutely. Like people say what is too risky to go on the show. Wh-what? What stories do we reject? And we reject lots of stories, but what we're looking for is emotional, intelligence and compassion. You know, if someone comes on, and is like I want to tell the story of what a bitch. My wife was. Not gonna run it. And believe me like we get a lot of people saying, I think that that person was a narcissistic sociopath, and you didn't hear it Kevin. But I can hear it. And I'll just have to say gosh, you might be right. You know? I hope I can listen closer for that kind of thing in the future. But yeah, the whole thing about risk is. Yes, there's a lot on the show that is incredibly shocking or like, the best example is this past year. We ran a story about Scott sex about a man shitting in another man man's mouth shirks in erotic way. Yes. What other way would there other? People are funny because they accept what they do as being. Okay. But I guess like regular people standing judgment of things that are different or things that they're not exposed to a bunch of gay leatherman talking about like things that gross them out like water, sports or scat. Then they were kinky they were into this this and this, but not water sports scat, this this this oh, not Skaff in the way. Parents toilet train. Their children has so much. Shame involved in a weird reward system. If you make solid poo, and it's weird. Well, there's the thing. That's what people say that. That story is about that's like the last seven minutes of thirty seven minutes story. And what the story is really about is two guys getting to know each other in lots of negotiation. Lots of exploring what consent is before they get there. So when we ran that story, I was like, okay. We got a lot of pushback from fans, we get a lot of people you've gone too far. I'm not gonna listen anymore cetera et cetera. So I was like this is this is this is we're gonna lose our audience. But now people were so goddamn moved by that story. I was so amazed here, especially like vanilla heterosexual women being like, wow. That was so fascinating. Because that story exemplifies how negotiation doesn't have to be can be sexy, and how consent can shift over the course of a second right from the moment when I agreed to let you should in my mouth to the moment, actually. There's a there's a really good story. That I've heard slave buy. Yes. Molina Williams Hawes. Yeah. It incredible story that is also about consent in negotiation and also goes into really deep dark places of identity and shame. And I mean, just everything you can imagine has been a very bad girl, you've been teasing me all night. And I said I. I'm sorry. What he says to know happens to bad goes. And I said, no, I don't I don't. It's about race play which is a a sort of dominant and submissive role play where you deliberately make racial tension. The focus which is obviously very taboo, and very kind of dangerous territory to to get into I've been invited to participate in that myself several times, and I've said to people I'm sorry. I cannot maintain an erection speaking a repair. She ends it the way a lot of risks stories, and which is not tying it up with a bone. Not giving you a nice little, you know, feel good sort of lesson. But being like, this was really dangerous, and it scarred me. But you know, what it was also really hot. Hello kids. This is risk the show where people tell true stories, they never thought they dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison. And every Thursday, we release these special episodes that were calling classic risk singles each of these episodes features just one story from our earlier years, if you're new risk, you should know that the podcast can be very uncensored this week. You know, a lot of if you read the book, a friend, my friend, JC her father read it, and he said all these people did stupid shit, and they dessert. Like the guy that could be anybody's biography. Shimmy. The end. So yeah, I think that like some sort of like learning to to be okay with myself and not push too hard. Like, there was an I was thinking the other day about there's this passage in portrait of the artist young man that has always really struck me. It's James Joyce is going to a Jesuit school. But this school is really really, you know, intense and strict and everything and then he leaves he spends like a weekend getting drunk as he possibly can and maybe doing opium and and seeing prostitutes, and he wants to he basically says I just needed to feel that bottom. And I think I've done a lot of that sort of thing in my life. So I think the lesson that I keep having to learn in my stories is no you don't have to destroy yourself. And you also like I also have this very beat myself up all the time. I'm about to start. This thing called mindfulness based cognitive therapy with cognitive behavioral therapy is where you catch yourself thinking something. And then you say, how dare you think? Tendency of mine. No, you catch yourself thinking something, and then you have steps to step off of that negative thought spiral. And then some people figured out a way to add. Secular Buddhist meditation into the process. So I'm about to start this. I've spent so much money on these. Workshops and books stuff. I'm a real sucker for that Oprah culture. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So taking it from what I know about you. And from what you're saying. Now, you are the most. Sexually experimental person. I think I've ever met. Yeah. And it sounds like the issue that you're trying to work out as you talked about from the very beginning. This interview is that sense of shame with your mom in particular. And then it's interesting to me that the way you work it out is to plumb the depths of shame as deeply as as you can find them. Yeah. And then make a podcast about it. What about it? And then just pray that my mom never runs into either of them. Well, has your mother listen to this stuff though? My parents don't know how to use e E mail, even so they purposely not know how to use Email pointing it's really really interesting at used to come out to my parents about smoking pot every couple of years. And then when I realized that she's always. Shocked to learn that I was like, oh, there are things that they just file away and it goes right into denial. So when I told my parents that they couldn't read the book about the state the big oral history of the state, and they couldn't read the risk book. They were very agreeable. Both towns, I was terrified both times. But both times they were like, okay. And I it's kind of like in an agreement at this late stage in life of there really is about your. We don't wanna know. I have known my guest today for over twenty five years. This is the first time we have talked so candidly in public about our time together in the sketch comedy group state, and the terror we all felt due to the fierce competition among the group coming up. We discuss his ten year struggle to find his voice after the group split. Spoiler alert. He's doing great. But it wasn't easy. And he shares the career breakthrough which led him to create the popular podcast in live show risk and friends. He owes all his success to me. Well, we're talking about shame in. We're talking about the state, which is the sketch comedy group that we were both a part of and. I have to confess my own deep. Shame about the state and about in particular, my relationship with you and other people from the state because of my own terror in conduct as a result of that terror in being in that group, and you talk about your own terror being in that group. Can you can you explain I guess what the state was? And how you saw your role in it. What's interesting? I make a funny story out of seeing Joe literally in the hallways and thinking Jesus Christ as he hot and literally like like kind of trailing around figure out what classes he was going to be in. So I was stalking him and literally stood outside the drop add counselors office is what is he dropping? And what? And I got into a class that he was in. And he announced my group is doing this show, by the way long before I knew who the state were was I also saw you waiting for the elevator at the main building and thought you were super hot. And I thought that you looked like a dark-haired river females which no I'm like, okay? I don't know that that doesn't quite trag. But. I looked like an Frank would have looked like if she'd been eight years. Anna frank. That's what it was. No joke into class one day and said, my group is doing this show. And I went to see the show that night. And it was then called the new group. It was the very first show that the group had done, and it was electric in that room. There were maybe only fifty people in that room. But everyone seemed to be reacting to the group as if it was a classic as if everyone already knew. Like, it was Monty python or something like that. And you could tell that the people onstage were super psyched about how it was going and the audience felt the same way. And I walked now this was when I was boring Kevin who had not yet started drinking and college and acting like a lunatic like I did back in high school. So I was with a couple of my friends who had met so far, and I said come hell or high water I'm gonna get into that group. And they literally said you. Boring. So I started kind of stalking the entire group. And it really was one night when I got really drunk at the dugout diaper near in. Yeah. And went into the bathroom and took off all my clothes. Yep. And came out with a pint of beer singing away owing song and just kind of paraded around the bar new. And Kerri Kenney said to me after that, you know, Hugh shut hang out with. So that was kind of like my on dishing, you know. Yeah. But it took a couple of years to get into the group and. By the time. I did get into the group. I realized how intense it was it was it was scary group in that. It was so so competitive, everyone was so smart, and so inspired and had a really incredible work ethic. Afraid to walk the streets along I'm not. I'm Barney MC Mackin and add the mcmechan school of self defense. I'll teach you how to handle the streets the way that tells crooks you'd on even want to come near me. You'll learn all my special methods. Like the volatile caveman technique. What was interesting about the state? And that a lot of people might not understand is that we didn't have all that kind of stuff that's in place now, like comedy education or anything. That's the thing. Oh, God, you know, the UCB and the PLO. Oh, that sounds horrible. But when you say. Yeah. So yeah, I mean, we were really just like if felt to us I think that like Monty python or whatever that we were really just creating our own rules and putting it all together ourselves. So so I was dying to get into that group. And I think I didn't get in until junior year. I got in at around the same time that Tom Lennon got in the. Yeah. Yeah. So I was late into the group. And by that time, I was terrified because I was already very familiar with the fact that the group would routinely throw people out. There was a thing. I think we called them eleven o'clock meeting or midnight meetings. So so, yeah, if if the group decided, we gotta get rid of someone they were out we would have these meetings like late at night, and you're usually in charge because every why well everyone else was drunk for one thing, and you were always sober. But no what else. I felt like if we were going to do a shitty thing. I wanted to be the one to do it. Like, I wanted to take that responsibility. Interesting. I didn't want to I wanted to own feeling shitty about doing something. That's amazing. Will you also were took it on to be the person who invited me into the grew. I don't remember that. Did I yeah. We was nice of me. We I remember the shitty things. I don't remember the nice things. Will you did something shitty at the very good? What did I? We were with the group with walking along what what's the part? What's that part Washington square park? Yeah. We're walking along the park and the rest of the group starts hold back and you start to walk forward with me. And you're like come on over here. And you invite you said, we'd like to officially invite you into the group, and I was it was funny because I wanted to hug you. But at the same time would that be on cool? You know that kind of and then you said so now you can ride our coattails. It was really funny. Like, I didn't I didn't have anything against you for making that joke. But it did set a tone for me. I was like oh God. It was a reminder of how there was that Roasti thing young group. And the thing was I. As far as ego goes like the whole idea of being so Roasti with each other. As a group was to take someone down a peg, you know, what I mean in order to like, and I am the kind of person who. Doesn't have that big of an ego to begin. You know, what I mean like is already? Very easily hurt or scared or whatever, you know. So and being the only gay guy in the group was also scary for me because so much of the conversation that the group was always having was very heterosexual male. You know what I mean? And there would be jokes about women or about gays certain point and carry was really good at handling that like she could dish it right back. And, you know, get a little hope from the group, and I was not I was not good at that kind of thing. And I guess it's just because I spent so much of my childhood. So scared about that the first person I ever came out to when I was twelve years old happened to be my best friend for my entire like I met him in kindergarten. And we were the very best friends and everyone knew it. It's funny because it was the movie e t the finally broke it off for me. That famous of game. Because I had an incredible crush on the alien, please let it be the alien. No, I felt like the because my whole course, my whole childhood I've felt like or my whole life. I've felt like the beast or Quasimodo or the elephant man or the weird alien who is lucky enough to have this beautiful boy friend, so yeah, I kind of fell in love with Elliot I was twelve at the time and tried to confess this to my best friend, and he went pale, and we were in a swimming pool. And he got out of the pool and he said so mostly naked with another dude. I don't know what I was thinking. Really it didn't make sure you weren't. It was like I have this thing that you just need to unburden yourself, and he had been confessing to me how deeply in love. He was with this girl friend of ours. And so I was like all right. Let me finally tell him the truth about this. And he said. You're disgusting and walked off. And then we'd we didn't talk to each other for the next two years. And the difficult thing was we were called the to Henry's a long story. And but everyone in school knew we were the best of friends, and that we were kind of the class clown kind of guys, you know, so the in my entire grade school and junior high knew that the to Henry's were now enemies and everyone had to choose camps, and then the fucking student council elections come and I'm like run for president. You know, like, whatever the fuck, and it turns out there's only one other guy running and it's him, and he starts putting little stickers tiny little stickers. Like, you would find it. Staples and handwritten on them. Kevin Allison is a BI sexual. So it was a smear campaign against me. And I just went numb and terrified and really just kind of ignored it. You know, there were teachers who acknowledged me. Okay. This thing is going on. And we're trying to take care of it. Friends didn't really wanna talk to me about. I didn't wanna talk about it. So I kind of just ignored it and plowed ahead. And it was funny because he got up and gave this really good policy speech on the day of the speeches root beer in the water fountain. It's exactly and I got up and pretty much just the word cool beans had become the term cool beans had become popular in whatever. This is nineteen eighty two. And so I just had been putting it on all my posters and people thought it was funny. So I just led the entire school in a chant of you went. I say cool. People just loved it. And I want of course. I've ever heard. You know, now that that that terror that you were feeling in that insecurity that you were feeling in the state in probably throw in other examples was exactly what every other person in the state. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I it's funny because we were a group of very talented people. Who were all dealing with feeling this pressure, this rivalry, and it what made the state super difficult was to eleven of us ten do than a girl. Yeah. And another thing that I found really difficult is that in order to is the best way to succeed at it was to be a great writer, and the thing is because I went on to teach sketch comedy classes later, and I would always tell my students. Look not everyone in a sketch comedy group is the best writer. That's not you know, some people are going to be better at acting. Some people might just be really good at organizing everyone in keeping team spirit and yada, yada, yada. So yeah, I was I was a real perfectionist an odd ball with my writing. I was just I was always beating myself up about my writing. I remember trying cocaine in order to right at one point during you know, and. What it would usually the solution right cocaine is usually better, right? Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. No. And what it would lead to is just me like, you know, pacing around and writing anything, but a sketch. Yeah. I do realize that we were all really scared and trying to get ahead. Yeah. When the group broke up you really struggled professionally and like, I said, I have a lot of shame. I feel like I have to acknowledge this part of my shame, which is that I was a little bit afraid of you. Because I was working in finding success a little bit. And when you weren't and we're struggling I felt just deep. Shame and deep like. I don't know what the word is responsibility. And that I had feeling like I had done this to you, even though I hadn't right? And I feel like I like just as a friend kept my distance because of my own chain. But I kept my distance from everyone in the group. It was such a I went the way I tell the story is that. Well, first of all I felt I felt like being in the group was scary to me. And then when the group broke up, I was like gosh, I think all's co comedians are a little bit scary. I just had so much stage fright. I, you know, my first time appearing at Luna lounge which was the sort of premier New York alternative comedy show in the early to mid nineties. Yeah. I had this big ten paragraph long monologue where I'm a guy who who is confused about whether or not he's Charles Manson. Basically autobiography. A metaphor sense. Absolutely auto-biographical. So the places absolutely packed. And it's packed with people who are, you know, super super successful comedians and industry people and all that kind of thing everyone's sitting crosslegged on the floor because the places such a dive bar. They can't have been have seats. And so it's just a complete absolute fire trap. And I get up and I start into this monologue. And what I my plan was this. I was like I am so goddamn terrified of other comedians that if I create a character who is insanely confident and just memorize the shit out of that monologue, then that's it. You know, who can you know? Penetrate memorized confidence. Right. I got up there. And the end of the first paragraph is me looking at someone in the audience and saying think about it jackass, which is something. My mother once said. So maybe that's what threw me off. But no all of a sudden, I went totally blank like the world became silent. And I didn't know what the hell came next. I didn't know where I was going. So I was like oh my God. I've relied so much memorization. I should just go back to the beginning of them on the mall long begins with Hello there. I guess you're wondering who I am. So I go I just out of fear. I start with wanna. Hello there. And people are like what is this like waiting for good dough? So I get right back to the same spot. The thing about it jackass and I go blank again. And I turned to Jeff Ross who was sitting on the stage because the host he was the host, and he couldn't get off the fucking stage because the place was so crowded, and I said, I can't do this. And I thought that I said it just loud enough that he could hear it. But you know, there was a microphone. So I started to flee the theater and the only way to do that was to climb like I'm in a cactus field over all these people sitting crosslegged and people are like, oh, this is like an end, this is alternative comedy. This is like an Andy Kaufman thing. So they start going. No, you can do it. Do it. I literally got tears coming down my face. I'm like, no not. I can't do it. They grab me. And someone grabs a foot of mine. And now, I'm being body served across people who are like it's very strange to be body served from people are sitting. You're only like two or three feet above the ground. And I'm being bobbed around. They belch me back up onto the stage. And it was fascinating because it was a dominant and submissive thing. I was like, okay. I am no longer the person in charge here. They say I can do it. And I did it and it was a cute hit and afterwards. I ran into this agent. I don't know just some talent agent. Who was there who everyone wanted to impress any? That was phenomenal. And me being unable to bullshit. Anyone about anything was like, no, you don't understand. I was really trying to flee. And he said, oh, well now you've had the the actors ultimate nightmare. So you know, you can withstand that and I couldn't hear that at the time. It wasn't until many years later that I started telling true stories onstage. Whereas like, yeah, that's exactly the lesson there that I stepped out on that stage. So fearful because I was no longer in the protective womb of that group the state, and I thought oh my God. There's no one to catch me if I fall, and they're literally was the audience was like, no, you can do it. This happens all the time at risk shows. Now, someone will have a meltdown and the audience will just be like you can do it, you know, and everything's right back on track. It's amazing. What's the best result for a story? Teller not in terms of audience response. But in terms of what they gain, you know, that's really interesting because I came into this feeling like is this just like I didn't use this Selby's didn't exist back when I started doing this. But, but I think to myself is this kind of like doing verbal selfie is just like showing off, you know, you do walk this very fine line between self-indulgence or self deprecation where you could be false in what you're doing or pretentious. And so you're trying as hard as you can to give the listener something that will hopefully resonate for them. And that's like a perfect. You know that story I was talking about the shitting in the mouth story. That is a perfect example of people writing in and being like, oh my God. I would never do anything like that. I have no plans on ever doing anything like that. But the emotions that that guy described suddenly triggered something that had me in tears because it reminded me of this conversation I had with my girlfriend five years ago. And now I understand how we could have done that differently that you said. Not in terms of the audience. What's the best thing that the storyteller can get out of it? And I really think that that is the key. It's if you're offering something that could be meaningful to the listener being a man for others. Yeah. I can tell the little legend of how risk began. For years. I was doing solo shows where I would get up and play crazy kooky characters like the guy who can't figure out if he's Charles Manson, and I was kinda getting nowhere with it. And in two thousand I actually left the performing arts entirely for four years. I decided, oh, maybe I'll go back to college and bury myself in books and become like, an editor or something like that. A woman reached out to me when I was working as a book editor, and she said would you like to teach a sketch comedy class? And I was like, well, I mean what the fuck. Yeah. I'll give that a shot. And so of a sudden I was standing in front of these like fifteen kids who were big fans of the state, and I found myself like being totally Frank with them sharing really emotional stuff, and then being completely absurdist and and sharing fifth where I'm like, I don't know if this job go over, but let's see and suddenly finding oh these people are like enjoying just who I am naturally while I'm speaking in front of them. So I think that's started like some gears turning, but still I thought it would be a good idea to mount one last character show. So I put together a show called f. Up about five characters who had eft up their careers. So it was very autobiographical without actually being me. Like one of the characters was like back in the twenties and old vaudeville performer, a Jewish Vaughn Ville performer, whose partner had gone onto Hollywood and become a multimillionaire. And he was struggling. So it was clearly me trying to get it something. But I did I did this show at San Francisco sketch fest in two thousand nine you were you were one of the like fifteen people in the audience that night in the mics weren't working. So I was screaming. It was. I was sweating. I was a mess. I was way overweight at well. I still am. Anyway, it was a mess. F- up wasn't F up or at least that night. It was. And we were walk- afterwards. We were walking along once again strolling around a park, and you said to me. Yeah. It was great. But I think you might try dropping the act I think you should just get up on stage and start telling your own true stories, and I said, but I too many things that people might not get I was so afraid of like impressing Hollywood casting agents. So I was like, no, I'm to mid western polite and to kinky and gay and to intellectual to absurd. It's like it's a weird mix. So it just feels I said if that would be so risky, and you said that's the whole fucking idea. Like like if it feels risky than you're probably opening up somewhat. And so the audience might be interested in opening up to you so on the plane ride home, and I thought okay, the risk of story. I could. Think of at the time was the first time I prostituted myself, which was literally. So if you remember the state did our pilot. Yeah. Right. And then they kept us waiting for like what like six months or so to find out if we were going to series. Like, I have executive function disorder. If any if that exists if that's not just something Oprah was. So, you know, I I spent those six months being like, I I don't know what how to make money. In the meantime, so my roommate said to me what prostitution is a lot more fun than you might think. This is my roommate who who's pimping you out. He's turning you out. He totally what like the whole time. We live together. I was like I don't know how he makes the rent like Jesus literally. Can I say this? Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Kevin Spacey would come to the apartment. Can say. To see my friend. My friend looked like a cub scout in a nineteen. Fifties Walt Disney movie he looked about two twelve years younger than he was. But anyway, he was age though, let us he wasn't. We are not accusing Kevin Spacey of anything. He was absolutely. He was absolutely age. So anyway available for a price. Yeah. And clearly one of those younger guys who likes older guys, you know. So it didn't occur to me when he was advising me on how to prostitute myself. Oh, it would help if I Kevin also liked older guys. You know what I mean? So anyway, he he went through his seven laws of successful whoring with me and sent me off to there used to be hustler bars before Giuliani shut down so much of gay culture at that time, and I went to one of these Asmara bars and tried to prostitute myself, and it's a it's a comedy of errors. I ended up with toll. Total asshole. And we ended up like a fist fight in the back of cab. Like with my pants down. So he's like I'll tell that. That'll be the first story I tell so I contacted this woman who was doing a show at UC. Like, can I tell a story I want to try something really risky, and she said sure and the day of I called her as like, you know, what forget it. I can't do. I've gotta pull out. And she said why I said, I, you know, it just feels too risky, and she said, that's a great side. So she was like if you do it. It'll probably be the one that knocks it out of the park. So I was like, okay. I keep hearing this. So I go and tell the story, and I bumped up against all that beat myself up shit while I was telling the story I bumped into places where I'm like Jesus that sounded so fucking gay or oh my God. That was so mid west it like the part where you went to a gay hustler barter prostitute yourself did that scene gave you? But I found that I had some sort of connection with them that I had not felt I don't know that I never felt it before they were they kept leaning forward. Yeah. There was like this electric city between me and the audience and afterwards people didn't just say that was funny, but people were saying shit like, well, I'm never prostituted myself. But that did remind me of this thing that yada yada, yada. And I realized that night I walked down eighth avenue away from the theater that night. And I was like it all came together. I was like I have to create a show called risk that will force me to be onstage on a regular basis on a deadline because for twelve years, I've been voiding that and it needs to be a podcast because small theater shows are not going to get you anywhere in life. So I started conceiving the whole thing that night. It was Friday. The rent was due on Monday. And he said to me Cav, I'll tell you something a lot of people don't realize this. But prostitution. Can be fun. I said. The great thing is is that fans of the show will hear it. And then pitch us their stories. And so when we go to some place like Saint Louis or Orlando or wherever people come out of the woodwork with these incredible stories who have never even stood on a stage before risk. I would say is all all things flow from the top. And it is exactly like you are. I mean, it is absurd and hilarious and filled with contradictions and deeply empathetic and very human. And that is I think the great gift of risk. And the reason it has succeeded and continues to succeed. Thank you. Thank you. As we. I mean that was just a beautiful way to kind of conclude. The interview portion of it. I I'm really talent. Pid at this. Kevin. But as we we end every episode with the amazing five in which I will ask for a recommendation from you in each of five categories, and you are a huge music fan. So I will ask for a recommendation in music anything that moves you that you would like to share with others. Oh my gosh. You know, what's difficult is that I have I have to listen to new music constantly now in order to find new songs for risk. But what I do find is. So like really speaks to my soul and his his meditative is like your John Coltrane and miles Davis. Like, there's I think that there's a new collection out of some of the stuff that those two have done together. But anything the two of them did together is absolutely like. Something I can just like, I don't know. Why just like absolutely go someplace meditated with? Yeah. So specifically the collaborations between miles Davis. Yeah. There are several collections. Right now, I'm reading the mindful way through depression, which could it might have been smarter for them to call it. The mindful way to happen. Just from a marketing point, it's literally like I have been interested in mindfulness and in cognitive behavioral therapy and had never known that people were mixing the two someone left it out on their stoop in bed stuy in my neighborhood with a little note attached, take it's free. And I started reading it. And I'm like, well, this might be the nine thousand th book that I would change my life. But that actually, well, it seems like you are you are relatively good place. Are you emotionally? Yes. Yes. I am what I'm trying to do is take a look at these old thought patterns that no longer fit. You know, my therapist always saying to me. Yeah. None of this. Like, you've are like on the show. I talk about drinking P and being tied up and all this. Stuff. And it's a real like people consider me a real hero for like saying fuck you to shame. And yet I still have those scripts in my head. So yeah, I am very I'm in the best place. I've ever been in my entire life. But still have to deal with voices beating myself up in my head as we all do I suspect we always will. But we learned tools to deal with food. There is a place called speedy Romeo's in bed stuy. I think there's a few of them. But yeah, just that is it would fired. Yeah. I had one last night not from speedy Romeo's new restaurant in my town called millstone. I'll give them a plug because it was terrific had something called the salad pie. Golo caramelized onions on wood-fired pizza. Don't stink. Yeah. Tv or film. Gosh right now, the one I'm immersed in is sharp objects. Have you seen that? No. It's it's one of the ones that my wife, and I are talking talk. We're in new we're negotiating about whether or not we're going to watch that we're not going to get to the level of will you should in my mouth. But we may get to the to the point of will you watch sharp objects with there you go. You negotiate and consent around that. No, it's interesting because it's about the mid west. So really, I'm like, oh, I'm recognizing a lot of the way that people act, and there's a lot of alcoholism and self harm in the show. So it's it's it's hard to watch. But it's really interesting, and then finally miscellaneous anything from your life that gives you joy, I would say, you know, that way. How do I want to say this? I need to remember that when I do work on new stories when I when I do come up with new stuff or just improvise something one of the things that I have always been such a control freak like my big stories like Kevin goes to king camp and stuff like that are really really written. I mean, I'm I'm making it sound like they aren't but they are. But it's really fun now that I'm so God damn busy that off. Oftentimes, I'll just be like let me just tell this story in front of the audience and see what the fuck happens, even though I just thought about it for thirty seconds backstage, and that can be incredibly euphoric for me. I have realized that we I'm I'm. I'm I'm studying mindfulness. What I've realized is when I'm on stage. I am I am mindful. It's the moment I get off that. That's when the voices start beating me up. You know, so living a little bit more in that creative zone of. Hey, let's just share this or let's follow this through or let's. You know, it's improvisation. I was so afraid of that when we were in the state when when people would start. Improvising. Something back and forth. Just hanging out. Just just socialized. Like UN Tom doing the Barry white routine. Burien lavar on I watched you guys create that sketch from just joking around with each other for a couple of days. And that was amazing and joyous to see. And for some reason, I was very like hesitant about participating in that kind of improvisation. I'm and I'm very sensitive. It's done two hundred dollars. And I think I finally after all these years kind of let that go of it. Well, I do think there is a real truth for performers about how you can often be your most intimate in revealing when you are at your most public. Yeah. I don't know why that is. I don't understand the mechanism behind that. Yeah. But it's certainly true that there is a level of intimacy that can be achieved when you are bearing yourself in front of others that often is very very hard to achieve one on one. Yeah. Kevin Allison the risk podcasts. Congratulations on it. Now over three hundred fifty episodes and nine years running. You can go see it live. You can submit stories to the book collecting some of those stories is called risk true stories people never thought they dare to share. Thank you for your friendship and thank you for being amazing. Thank you. Amazing is produced by Jennifer Brennan and Mary shimkent recorded at Ardo studios in New York City, today's show is mixed and edited by Robin Lynn with music composed by Chad crouch, if you would like information about sponsoring our show, Email sponsor at p r x dot org. I'm Michael, Ian, black.

Kevin Kevin allison Michael Anna frank Joe TWA Ian Orlando Charles Manson xfinity Peru Saint Louis Oprah Tom Lennon prostitution Judy obscure MTV Instagram Kevin Spacey
529 - The Word of the Day is Farcical

The Librocube

45:20 min | 1 year ago

529 - The Word of the Day is Farcical

"Hello this is Penn Jillette. Actually listen to the liberal podcast featuring host Jordan Maywood. I could potentially enjoy. The libra killed bed as contest. We haven't heard yet might might be terrible broke. You can catch with our here. We go this comes to us from our good friend Jordan. Maywood class hamburger steamed ham. Do Hello Welcome to the liberal Cuba. My name stirred maywood and I am the lackadaisical Liberal Kibaki list the show that you're listening to right now is a journey into my mind. You poor poor lost souls. How did you find your way here? I should say that I do this journey. I take you with me because what am I going to do? Just sit with say the MRS for example and talk about all the movies. I've watched talk about all the TV. The bucks the Games who. I'm going to just sit down and talk about all the media I've consumed and bore the hell out of no and it's your it's you who were lessened because you are by definition. I suppose you could push play and have it on in the background and not really be listening. That is a scenario that can exists. Okay but maybe you are listening and if you are I should say that if you have not consumed some of this media yourself. The possibility exists. I could spoil it for you so warn. You know what I'm going. Go ahead and call this a spoiler warning for any of the stuff mentioned in the show notes. You read the show notes. I don't in a podcast. I never read the show notes. Why do I make show notes? I don't know I guess because. Yeah the whole spoiler thing if you see a movie in there and start talking about it. You're not going to be too surprised. Rate rate haven't recorded in a while It's the whole The virus thing so a just sort of been Not Consuming as much or a spoke about this. I think maybe last episode that I've been watching critical role Season two from the beginning and that is a lot so basically. That's what I'm doing in terms of media consumption for the most part that being said I gotta get a Damn jam-packed episode. I don't know what I'm talking about. I think it's that I am Spreading out the PODCASTS In order to get a sufficient amount of stuff to talk about. Maybe that's what's happening. I don't know I don't know a lot of things a lot of things up in there. I'm basically built for this thing staying at home. Something I enjoy more than anything else. Anyways so I'm not having to tough time of it. Compared to people out there that is for God. Damn sure Potential got a text from a guy. used to be good friends with haven't seen and she's a years probably if I had to guess He's talking about setting up zoom Sort of get together tonight. So we'll see if that pans out I don't know it's just you know curious curious things like that the age we live in interesting stuff. We're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about things like pushing this button. Movie Monologue Movie. Dog Sponsor is widely coyotes. Thank you for that sponsorship. Movie The verse from Twenty Twenty Nine. Who says that from two thousand nine? Oh God Zombie land. Yes shy student to reach his family in Ohio. Gun toting tough guy trying to find the last twinkie in a pair of sisters trying to get to an amusement park join forces to travel across on be filled. America. You know what's Funny I saw yesterday and this is not so much funny. Ha Ha as you will realize when I say what I'm about say and that is There's been some studies that cove it can have effect on some people's Sort of neurological stuff's Things including teacher seizures or a memory issues things of that nature so basically it's having effects on brains now. I don't want to alarm anyone but a viruses that affect brains can lead to things like zombies. So you know I'm just saying I'm just saying if you haven't seen this movie for shame it's a classic Pity envy. I pity that you haven't seen it an envy that you will get to see it for the first time easy. Five hundred five Comedy Darkness Zombies I find. Zombie comedies are not unheard of. There's a lot out there. This is probably the best one some beavers pretty good the title the title of Zombie Verse. You know that that's a that's a just a good title regardless of Genre Woody Harrelson Great. Everyone good Highly Recommend Zombie land from two thousand nine. If somehow you haven't seen it It's probably movie. I'll dust off every once in awhile so recommends. Needless to say moving on to death at a funeral. O More Duff from twenty ten. I thought this was newer. For some reason a funeral ceremony turns into a debacle of exposed family secrets and misplaced bodies That doesn't really play a large role in it. The home misplaced bodies part. Let's just like a joke at the beginning so Yeah got a lot of big names in the Keith David. Loretta Devine Peter. Ding Ding College. Danny Glover Regina Hall Kevin Hart Martin Lawrence just to name a lot of them. James Merson Chris. Rock is also Danna. Coma God Luke Wilson. Lot of names in this It is a comedy It is also got some darkness to it and it's got a bit of a feel in. This is probably why I enjoyed it of A. I know I've mentioned this at some point On this podcast That frazier episodes where there's a party are usually the best ones like. I believe a farce is what you would call those. And this is very a farcical. So for that reason rating wise shrewd. Jeez death or funeral although solid four points to nine yeah I don't know what rating I'm going to give movies. And before we start talking about them so the fact that this gets a four point two nine you know what it was I i. This is my thought process. So you can get sort of picture into my brain such as it is I don't think I could give it my thought was. I can't quite give it a five. It's not that great four no not high enough and then. I started saying the words four point and then I ended on two. And I'm like you know it's better than four point two I wish I had said higher. I put the nine at the end to make up for that. That was my thought process. God what am I doing The biggest little farm from two thousand eighteen documentarian John Chester and his wife. Molly work to develop a sustainable farm. Two hundred acres outside of Los Angeles Seemingly picked a Spot where growing things is not with the land wants to do but it was very very fascinating doc and must have been filmed the MRS and I tried to figure it out Over the course of a decade or something really long maybe. It was even more than that was like seven years decades somewhere in that neighborhood and it was. The whole premise of this is is it viable to do a to start a fire? That's not the sort of mass production farms. That are the norm these days. Sort of a more old school Holistic yeah sure. Let's use that word Holistic approach to farming and assertive the the ups and downs that tail and one of the visionaries. Yeah LET'S GO AHEAD COMA VISIONARIES BEHIND IT. Heads the sort of theory that It's GonNa take time but when when eventually you've reached the of level of your farm. Everything's going to work with one another to such a degree that it sort of sustains an in a literal circle of life as sort of a real fascinating to see the ups and downs and and that sort of the coolest part They'll have things happen on the farm. It's almost like the the old lady who swallowed a fly and the in they keep sending things into the old lady to fix it. And that's what happened in this movie so They have the the the dirt. The Earth is basically dead so they have to. Let's like Grass grow on it in orchard which brings the life back to the dirt and helps orchard but then bring slugs That are eating everything and then the slugs attract birds and the it's it's like this whole ongoing thing where everything bad that happens eventually sort of turns into something good. It felt like it was very very cool to see Biggest little farm cheese five five. Okay what I'll do. I'll go four point three out of five but I'm going to bump it up to five just for the sheer amount of time that this documentary took to make they they the the earned a little extra points for that for sheer moving onto the farewell from twenty nineteen just realized. I have had a lot of death in this episode. Lot of death related movies from Zombie land to the farewell a Chinese family discovers. The grandmother has only short while left to live and decide to keep her in the dark scheduling. A wedding to gather before she dies. And the wedding is a farce Farcical you might say. Word of the day Should be make that the title For Sokoto word of the day normally I don't have a title before we start recording Sometimes one is obvious before recording butts. The nothing jumped out at me. I yes so apparently in a Chinese culture. This is not an unusual. I know if this movie can be believed. This is not an unusual thing that A doctor will discuss with the family. That say a grandmother is about to die and then the family makes the decision whether or not to tell the grandmother. Which is the MRS and I had the site of discussion of. Yes to our western brains. This is crazy but There's there's there's sort of both sides can easily be made I feel like for. Why is this a bad thing or is a good thing? The the the good thing if can be classified as such as that This person gets to live not in fear for longer than they would have if you tell them right away that sort of thing so I don't know it's very very interesting a lot of Sort of a moral dilemma moral choice. brought up some good questions. It was just a good movie Aquafina she sort of the were experiencing it through her eyes for the most part She was good Rating wise cheese. Go four points Four four point four is what the farewell guts from twenty nine teen. We were gone to apostle from eighteen in nineteen five drifter on dangerous mission to rescue kid. Sister is a sister. I'm not sure I renew sister tangles with a sinister religious cult on an isolated island So the started kind of slow and boring and I didn't like where it was. It just felt kind of But things eventually sort of became very interesting and that there was an introduction of assertive supernatural element to that a description which I very much liked because just the addition of that Comes UP A lot. That movies I like are ones where I don't know what's going to happen next. And this movie started out feeling like Oh okay I know what's GonNa Happen Blah Blah Blah Blah. But then when you add supernatural type stuff to movie you have you the you have no idea you potentially can have no idea what's going to happen because anything can happen supernatural mystic. Magic stuff can happen. One of the reasons I I think I like. Dnd so much is because with the addition of magic In reading fantasy You really have no idea what can happen because anything can and I liked it and I and I like this Stint blew me away though ago. Three point seven again I don't think I've said it. Got A rating scale. His three is for me enjoyed while watching but probably wouldn't watch again And you know I liked it. Moving onto from nineteen ninety two sneakers security for pro fines his past coming back to haunt him when he and his unique team are tasked with retrieving a particularly important item. Particularly the word that often gives me difficulty Let a big names in this Robert Redford's the point you watch. Ea Dan ackroyd just to name three Sort OF A. I don't know if you'd call us. A quintessential Nineties Action No. I don't think you would definitely a heist vibe to it sort of a pre oceans. Feel maybe a little bit Ben Kingsley as a bad guy which right there you're going to get a point It's a movie I have seen. This has got to be maybe only seconds. Viewing maybe serve ewing. I can't actually recall. It is good I do like it. I think I heard people talking about on a podcast or it was on some list of underrated movies. Something to that effect And Yeah I think I could verify that rating wise ago just assault for. Yeah no points at all. Four right down the matter sneakers. That sounds interesting to you. check it out. If you like that sort of hasty actiony get a little bit of romance in the air. You're very pre Ocean's eleven twelve hundred and vibe I would say We've gone to from twenty nineteen Charlie's angels okay so the this did not do well theaters Critics did not like it fans seemingly did not like it. I had the hope that it would be in that sort of so bad. It's good category but now unfortunately didn't a reached that When a young system engineer bozell whistle on a dangerous technology Charlie's angels of Blah? Has Patrick Stewart in it? So you know that's good I did like the girl. She's the same girl she not. Yeah who played? What is her name is it not only Scott. Let's double check have the MD. Open as I do for these. Yeah I seem girl from Allotted who I really liked her for Prince. Jasmine allowed really liked her in that in a really liked her in that so In this so turns out. I am a Naomi Scott Fan but movie though. Yeah it was just a not not good. Not much interesting happened in is just sort of Blah Rating wise definitely. Give a point for a Nomi- Scott and appoint for Patrick Stewart Breaking bringing us up to a to Sadness Charlie's Angels Twenty Nineteen Moving on to Zambia Land Colon Double Tap. Oh I see what I've done here made Zombie Lan Sandwich. Actually No. It's an all those other movies sandwich on Zombie. Laying bread is how it would work Yes so it is years later from the first and they're just sort of living in this Ambi- world's they did a cool thing. I think that some of these zombies had evolved a little bit so the got some more powerful ones The thing about Zombie movies in general that this one does not do is almost feel like zombies. Pay Play a smaller role in sort of the action. I don't know if that's accurate. Maybe this doesn't as well anyways Funny characters that a recommend if you haven't seen either of them watching back to back that'll be fun for you to see sort of what happens. in how they progress rating wise I think I gotta go four. Oh today even rate the first month I one gets five hundred five. This one gets four point. Seven nine. There am again with a nine Was Not as good Just because they had read it a lot of the stuff from the first one You Got Thomas Middleton here though that let's bring it up a bit Funny what do I say about Zombie? Land Double Tap? It's a good clean hoary dark comedy. Dd movie he which allows us to move on by pushing this button. Television talk today. Social talk sponsor is mother-in-law jokes. Thank you for that ship. Sunk pushed a button by mistake there. Rusty as I said I've been recorded in a bit This time with Alan Partridge. Oh Alan Partridge back. Yes he yes. from twenty nine th somehow. I I didn't hear about it. I guess being Canadian and maybe this is probably true for America as well Might not necessarily be in the news. That Alan Partridge cames comes back Despite the fact that he is one of if not the most she's a tough car. Steve Coogan who plays on Partridge Definitely one of my finish finish of my favorite most funny sure and I combine that into finish Somehow a British comedic personalities. Let's go ahead and call them actors in this role in particular a thoroughly enjoyed over the years So upset that I didn't know he came back and recorded six episodes in this persona In Twenty nineteen th. I feel like this is a character he could just over the course of Steve Coogan. Life's slip into out of every four five years just dawn this character and the in in have a commentary on what's going on in the world today and I would be happy camper and happened as I am. Sure many many out there would If you're unfamiliar with Alan Partridge. Ooh I've never had. I don't know if I've ever had a stronger Pity envy situation Because you really do have to check him out he plays a Geez. It's almost you know. It's almost reminiscent of the office The British won and I guess Steve Carl Mary American One Thank you have a character? Who will generate cringes and you that you have never felt before With an underlying very very deeply hidden very deeply hidden a goodness to him sometimes sometimes not Definitely more often on the nights and asshole but in a comedic way in a lovable Jesus Christ what the Hell's wrong with this guy way He plays a TV presenter presenter. If you'RE UNFAMILIAR It's there's another sort of very British thing. I guess we have them like a like a Ryan seacrest. He would be A. You're an American presenter. Who would be a Canadian one? Nerd wire that's not true but it is funny Anyways so to have him back in these times Watch US during initial days of the the the coronavirus stay at home and it really really helped Check out this time with. Alan Partridge easy. Six five yeah six hundred five. I give them every once in a while. This definitely gets but banter lease book. Mantra sponsor is in of the last home. Thank you for that sponsorship. Okay I if you're following along You will know last sewed. I do believe we talked of a book. One of the meetings sex tet which is a six book series This one is called Wunderlist by Mary. L. Kirk off in a Stephen Winter I God damn loved. This book could not put it down. let me just get right out of the way which is probably pretty obvious from what I just said. Five out of five Let me read the good reads See if that gives you a bit of an idea what this is about. I like the first sentence here. Stop thief that's the percents Which if you know anything about Tassell Hav burfoot you know Boy Tassell off missed him When Spring Day off Burr foot comes to solis accidentally pockets a copper bracelet and forcibly makes the quietness of Tanis half elven and Flint. Fire forge a simple tale except that the fate of the entire race of Dragon. St Cl's hangs in the balance. How does this piece of candor coveted jewelry lead to the companions and a see Elf princess to ally with the F- Pantheon's creatures with wings of flames question Mark The answer lies with a mysterious made a broker of souls who knows the bracelets secret and has a hideous plan to rule the black robes wonder less is the second exciting installment and the Dragon Lance Saga meeting sextet but Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah The whoever wrote this. Wow you did a an admiral bull job I. It's an interesting where he'd just the discrepant the fact that we have Tesla Burr Foot Tana's half elven and Flint Firefox together at last and this is how they met A long while years in fact since I've read Dragon Lance involving them. So my memories of those are not as strong as they were. You know when I read them the period. That's how books and memorization works. I don't know I'm explaining that I'm an idiot but What this book did which I think is some of the reason why I'm giving it a five out of five Is that? It's sort of opened up the fond memories of those books and made me happy that I'm working my way towards them. A definitely strong nostalgia vibes so my plan and I think I mentioned this when I spoke Book one is. I'm going to read the meeting set. So I'm going to read these six bucks and then going to hop into the you know the dragons of the summer flame would ever. That book serious is called So I'm just GonNa live in this world for a while for the foreseeable future. My my my sort of plan. There are my my thought process. There is I was reading a book. It was Zombie. Buck the took place in real life and the was I. It's like I need these books right now to escape as far from the real world as I can and the best way to do that is into a world of magic Also this has a very strong field and I I feel like I've noticed before That older this was published July first nineteen ninety one so I guess that was the first publishing books of this era. Fantasy books of this era Particularly Dragon forgotten realms one Have a very strong a Dean D. Dungeons and dragons feel but like this one to a strong degree where there were points where they were talking about Kanter ups were. They were talking about The Seattle Princess. She was talking about Some of her abilities she could only do once a day. So it's almost like getting into some of the mechanics of spell casting and Dean d Lead in this book which is very very cool I like that. I like that a lot of made me. WanNa play D- So needless to say Wonder Las Oh wunderlist cool in itself. That's something that's a tussle half burfoot. Who is tender? Which is like a no similar to anno- I think it's the Dragon Lance version of a no. Maybe they couldn't use the word gnome. Something like that anyways They get this the sort of this this feeling at a certain age Itchy feet. I think sometimes it's called where they have to keep moving. Keep exploring keep looking for shits and giggles throughout the realm And that's that's that's what Wunderlist is so I like that. Tasr one my one of my favorite characters. Just just the fun Doesn't experience fear sort of character. Is that a calendar. I think they're immune to fear like mechanically if you play dungeons and dragons calendar. I don't know if GNOMES are anyways. Let's push another button game. Today's game Gavin sponsor is crazy earls black-market thank you for that sponsorship finished borderlands three. Yes we did it. We did it. I do still have some Cleanup post main story missions like I saved it at one point. Where we're just about to enter handsome Jack's casino to try to heist it so I'm sort of looking forward to that but I'm done the main story in I'm going to play something else before hop back to that but I do plan on hopping back and I feel like with borderlands this come up quite a bit when I say and it did happen I. I don't think I ever did verify. The stood happened with red dead to Sometimes I'll stop playing a game with the idea that You know I just need a break from it and I want to play something else with the idea that all hop back in later and I almost never do. I almost that game. I it just I. I never played ever got I did that with red dead to for example. That's the most recent one I can think of. Now I'm saying I'm going to do with Orleans three to go in and Complete these last couple of missions. Or or maybe do some side missions. I can do those as well But with them with this I actually think I will because I have in the past with Borderlands Games gone back in and done a additional missions. Just because they're fun sort of pick up and play more of a feel to it The missions often feel especially the decide ones. I mean A little more encapsulated a little more One shot one more. You know like that so We're only three so it was good. If you like Borderlands Games you will like this the do anything crazy different than other borderlands games. Not necessarily. But that's that's fine. I went with the That's the other thing I I went with a one of the there. There's four characteristics. Choose from I want with the girl who Where you can get like in a Mac is a pretty cool. You feel very powerful when you do that. I would usually use it when I was about to die and that felt good as well Where you get in this giant Mech any of giant guns and you can sort of go around and blow everything to Shit so felt powerful when doing that The guns man the guns I did eventually get the gun that shoots guns. That's pretty cool. Yeah it's literally a gun where you Y- sort of hold down the trigger button had builds up a little bit and then it shoots out like ten guns. They're the guns that aren't very good but still it's the thought that counts that this game has within it that shoots guns The story your borderland stories are interesting but they never really F- blow me away. Excuse me necessarily This one involved as it. Does you know going to various volts opening the up Okay one thing that this had that previous ones didn't is that you're traveling or a through space to different planets new sort of Bebop at Arouna I don't know if it's a solar system or I think it's a solar system and visiting different planets so so let's fun Mechanically it wasn't really much different than just going to different areas on the same planet so although it is different it didn't really feel different like that's something. I feel like they could have done. Actually is have some sort of space battles something Something more where the fact that you're base is a spaceship. Meant more than if it was just based on the ground like there wasn't really much different mechanically or anything who's sort just the same Rating wise. I'm GONNA a solid for Very much enjoyed it Probably even go four plus because it's the type of game where I feel like I would dust it off every once in a while and play a little bit Maybe go back in and try it with a different characters when I'm thinking RULEC But borderlands three and there's DLC. I don't know if I bought the addition where I get all the deals. See for free. I think maybe dead because tradition in the borderlands. Dlc Is usually very fun. I think maybe up to look into that regardless chicken borderlands three. Why don't you a Internet intercourse? Totals today's Internet intercourse sponsor is Golden Guys Trophy Makers Inc. Thank you for that sponsorship item. The first Tom Lennon as the tiger king yeah on a Stephen Calbears show From home which Which I think we spoke of last week. All the talk show host doing their thing from home They had on the quote Unquote Tiger King. Who is played by Thomas Lennon? Which man he had that character down pat so. I wanted to bring it back as a very good a very good an honorable mention no. I don't think that's the correct use of that term. But the he did a very good job at it so I bring back and mention it because that's what happens an internet intercourse Moving Onto Adam. Savage talking about his hand injury. Oh yeah this one was interesting Especially the fact that he didn't want you and and set a couple of times that he didn't want to because of embarrassment but The I'm glad he did and I betcha many others including himself eventually are glad he did He was He sort of took apart A. Who's a leave? I do believe took apart piece of heavy machinery because it wasn't working well Fix It put it back together was cleaning it and cleaned it in such a way that It was it ended up being dangerous and he sort of realized after. Yeah what I was doing to clean. This was a dangerous thing and a stupid thing. And that's why he didn't want to sort of talk about it but He said the potential in almost like he got lucky that he didn't lose a finger I it's just wrapped in a big band. It's not like he showed it or anything but I I'd like him in his videos Very much I'm very much getting into them. Where he'll he'll he'll show his favorite tools or he'll he'll show something he made or he'll give a little One day build all stuff like that because he's very very interesting Educational Dude and something. That made me like him. More about this is that despite the fact that he was embarrassed to talk about it and clearly didn't want to He did it because he knew it would be a valuable teaching to and I think that's something he has in the back of his mind. A Lot Is what I am saying. Will it help others Do things lead a lifestyle that will be better? If they didn't hear say me. Hear me say this thing yes so I appreciate it and I'm sure others as well so I much it here. Moving on to clear vivid which is of course a podcast hosted by Alan alda with guest betty white cheese ninety eight years old when they recorded this whenever that was And to be honest she does sounded. She should her voices sort of reached that That stage where something about an older ladies voice The the of a certain tone a certain cadence and she sort of recent a little bit despite that seems quick as ever On the ball have mentioned a couple times how she's just like a dirty Raunchy old broad and Had A couple of jokes as quick on her toes and It was a year. Listen to it with the MRS It's almost impossible to get the MRS to sit down and listen to pass. So I knew when Benny White was on one. That was my chance to At least make the attempt and she did enjoy it so that was good as well as a two for one. Goodness there And I recommend you check Eleanor dot an interesting podcast. Her In that he just sort of explores what he wants to. It almost feels like which is a good podcasting Sort of way to go about it. Just find things you WANNA talk about. Find people you want to talk about and talk to them seemingly kind of how he comes out as things that things and people that interested him he'll seek them out and try to talk to them so I like Next we have trouble shooting. Pc random restart frustration. Oh yes so. This is a to save this for for last of my Internet intercourse because it is Internet related. I suppose Bought a new. Pc like the beginning of the year somewhere in that neighborhood and Worked great for a while then. I would have start having these periodic restarts where it would just randomly restart for. No reason wouldn't get any errors wouldn't get any blue screens wouldn't get anything to indicate what the problem was wouldn't happen while doing the same thing I could be doing. Nothing could be look. There's no rhyme or reason at all which Made it very very frustrating. I tried a million fixes of that. I found online. None of them seemed to work Contacted of a eventually decided. Okay well none of my fixes are working. I'M GONNA contact the The manufacturer I still under warranty. Obviously we work through a bunch of stuff. Some of it seemed to work better than others. But nothing dead like yesterday was sort of the final Straw where I was talking with The the makers of it and they're gonNA send me out a new power supply Basically the part that you plug into the wall and everything plugs into that inside the computer that pc you power supply unit. I think let's me would censor Despite all that something happened yesterday where my frustration had reached such a point where not only would it not turn on like normally it would turn on and like right? Aw turn off and then read on again. It was quick but A couple of times that would turn off and then it would take maybe five ten minutes before return on again and I couldn't turn it back on so yesterday and my frustration. I hit it. This was not very hard I just gave it a like a like a wack like that and as soon as I hit it it turned back and since that's happened I haven't had a restart now. I'm not saying I fixed it by hitting it but the potential exists that that is exactly what I've done I I did let the guy know that happened. I didn't see hit it. I said I was moving it. And I sort of jostled. It came back on but he said okay. Well you know open it up and make sure all the cords are attached. And I did that Nigel to the mall and pushed him back in harder. So I'm hoping that somehow someway despite you know a month and dozens of tries to fix my pc all it really needed was to be hit once. A fucking fest Jesus Christ Jesus Christ. It's been a lot of frustration like you want during these times things like just your computer to work things like a work to be normal and not crazy You want some stab wounds of stability in your life during these incredibly unstable times So when it wasn't happening was starting to be very frustrating. And I hope it's fixed Regardless they're sending out a new piece you as I say so I'm to have to try to replace it. Sounds like it's low complicated They said I can call them and they would walk me through it so my thought there is. Maybe I'll sort of Set up a external setup my laptop with a Webcam where they could sort of see me working on it as I work on it. Maybe something like that to that effect. We'll see we'll see what's this button. New Thirty new new new new new do yes. We have a clean-up conversation I suppose I can affirm this in the television talk but I I like just you know tossing something in the cleanup conversation every once in a while like this series finale to modern family for example. Oh I should say. Let's Clean Up Conversation sponsored by SOFA OR GARG GARAGE era. Thank you for that sponsorship. Yeah so I think I missed the last three or four episodes and to be honest when it came to monitor family a bet. You're not alone in this. There was never a bad episode. Never an episode. I didn't like it. Just you know ten seasons in. It's sort of difficult to keep the viewers interest up as high as say in season. Two or three. Let's say yeah that's a judicial way of saying it. I think that that they were bad. Just that my interest in show had waned over the years by year Tan. I think yeah okay. And that's fair. I don't think anyone would begrudge me that thought. I hope That being said Series Finale was okay They sort of the. They didn't interesting thing. If you haven't seen it you know on spoilers as I warned of the beginning of the show where everyone splitting up and going their own ways which In in a show that focused so strong land family. Yeah and being together all the time frigging way too much in my opinion See my family doesn't listen to this motherfucker so I can say whatever the hell they want. This them. Yeah take that family. I'll tell you what if any of my family members are listening to this Replied to me with the word swordfish. It'll be the password and I will give you one hundred dollars. That's how confident I am that. None of them are listening to this anyways. The modern family you know did it go with the BANGER. Whimper little weaponry little whimper but that's why I almost thought and maybe it's because My interest had waned a little bit. I must thought maybe I would get some. It would elicit some tears in me so the sort of sad farewell to the show but the it didn't so a little disappointed in that In again I don't think it's their fault other than the fact that they've just been around so long It's kind of sad actually. Geez way to bring it down at the end so long episode. I didn't mean for it to go the song but the here we are folks. We didn't we did it. I'm hoping next episode. They'll be five thirty. Maybe I'll do it. Try to do it next week. So I don't have such longtime between recording. Maybe it'll be shorter. Episode EPA sheared. I don't know that leaves one final thing to say which is always a final thing to say wishes. Of course. It's nice to be nice to the Nice. This is the end of the show. A sincere thank you for listening. Time to plug some things and I do not mean but you can like Assad facebook you can follow Jordan underscore maywood on twitter. You can subscribe and comment on Itunes. Lastly if you would like to contact podcast you can eat Jordan Dot Maywood APP g mail DOT COM. I would like to conclude that I am not a back and bad. I have got a theory that it's a demon dancing demon. Something isn't right then. The best is yet to come and won't be you. You've seen sun but you ain't seen it shine to the warm ups underway. Wait wait see that sunshine seen nothing yet. Come and won't be yet to live long and prosper.

Alan Partridge Jordan Maywood America Patrick Stewart Penn Jillette Steve Coogan Kibaki Twenty Twenty Nine Cuba Woody Harrelson Tom Lennon Luke Wilson Keith David John Chester Dan ackroyd Robert Redford Ben Kingsley Naomi Scott Charlie MD
433. Paul Danke, Brett Morris, Kevin Bartelt

Who Charted

1:05:56 hr | 2 years ago

433. Paul Danke, Brett Morris, Kevin Bartelt

"Pod. Swag is your one stop shop for merch from all your favorite podcasts. They should have like a convenient magin like a physical convenience store that was just nothing but podcast. Yeah. That'd be cool. Like you wanna go to tiger market. Now. Let's go over to play. It should be like on a like a kiosk in the middle of the mall. I like that too. Yeah. You'll get a college kid in there for rep. The shows you love with items like shirts pins, who these decals, mugs, posters, accessories, and more. All right. Let's start with shirts, we all wear shirts odd bought shirts for things we all wear pants. I bought pens not really that much. I was a teen. But I do think there are pin- people out there. So pick up a pin who he's that's good for all ages are the old people now wear hoodies, right? Yeah. Even CEO's. Zacher Burg's, sucker Burks and stuff. And if you've got a pods. It might be your inside the house hoodie hummus or rocket outside decal stickers. Everybody loves them. I don't really put them on laptops, and stuff, but I got all these squat melt stickers stickers is valid. You know, a stickers are good for put him on your luggage to differentiate it some guy walked out with my luggage in Columbus, Ohio. I had to chase him down the terminal defined it before my plane lots or was he legit. Or is. He like he didn't purposely do it. He was just a dummy. All right. Well, another thing you should do is never check bags. Don't do it. But I wish I had put a decal on her sticker slobber decal on it. I do that with my test declare his. One's gotta sticker on. All right, mugs, mugs, mugs, are fun mugs in the morning. You see it first thing in the morning. Maybe that's when you listen to your podcast. So I think mugs is a good way to go posters. How many people put up a podcast poster got to be a superfan for that? But I think that you know, what maybe it's the best way to show that you love something by having permanently up in your home. It's the most commitment, especially if it signed if assigned to try to get a framed than it really looks nice on the wall Papa frame on it. And then accessories what's that? What would be some good accessories? Pod, swag, accessories, magnets, and stuff, probably stickers. Okay. Magnets stickers dog chain. Got new styles are constantly being updated for you to add to your collection. It's also a great place to shop for gifts for your podcast loving friends. Go to podcast dot com slash charter to shop your collection today. That's pod. Swag dot com slash charter. Three. It's time for episode four thirty three of who charted the show where comedians discussed the top five songs and movies of the week. It is the beginning of April. I'm your H. Michael Cray, Howard, pray or how's it going, man? You you see much better than last week. Thank you. I still feel gel caps. I still feel crypto queasy still feel a bit under the weather. But I am feeling better. Thank you for noticing. I immediately noticed thank you. And that is the voice of Peter starred, Brad. We're also here with Kevin. All right. Hi, guys. Hey, today's special week. It is the one year anniversary of squat melt which began wou the first week of April last year. And so to help us celebrate I've brought in a special guest today. We've been trying to get him on the show for a very long time. He is a good friend and. He's a stand up and writer, you can listen to his comedy album dang available on I tunes. It's paw. Welcome to the show, Paul. Thank you. I feel very welcomed out here. That's a high energy deal. And of course. Yeah. To the studio high energy. In fact, got a couple of visitors daughters with the podcast. I love it. They're watching us behind the glass. But I don't think they could hear us. I don't think. So we got a crew I've never brought him to a podcast recording before I think they're they're starstruck. Obviously as they should be way. Starstruck. Would mean they know who we are as stars. And that they are impressed. I think that they will. They know what Hollywood is baby. They you know, they've been to they've been to summer fest. Oh, yeah. They're they're they populate the slide every year in they're using the slide. They were even the water know, what number Scott, whatever some was one of my daughters was in my like, she was delivered late two weeks later. Oh, really some a baby. She's some baby could say Paul ura recurring star of summer fest. Right. That's that's the that's the other credit. I. That was in her own always kill it. Always kill it at some fast. It's always we put we save you for late in the show when the sauces lathered everybody out and yourself as well, and you are famous for probably going on with the least amount of clothes performer at out some fests. You know, I always took it as a point of pride to get right out of the water still wet shirtless and do stand up by that'd be really fun. Yeah. And now I had to be in the room of people looking me up online before and pulling up those pictures, and they're like there are a lot of pictures of you performing without. And I'm not trying to get on a Bert Kreischer. I'm not just take should take his audience. They just need a guy without a shirt on. They don't care who it is. But you do great there and anyone could do comedy showing netball and still get laughs as doing God's work. It is gross especially the for the people in the front row. Yeah. Like, Bridget Everett of some of us. Yeah. That is the well. I'm going to put that that's going in my bio, you gotta need that. But of course, I've known you for years from the gal gold stays so the tiger lily show, and we're good friends. In fact, you helped helped me, of course, many times morning, the Brody FANG and hanging out and all that. Yeah. You were there at the memorial at the comedy store. That's right. And I I we went out to Kearney's before and you generously. We stopped by new offer to buy me something. And I was you know, I was in a daze like everybody was and I ordered a cheeseburger on my vegetarian friends dime. And I wanted to fuck and kill myself. I was like mmediately realized what happened. I was like, oh, no I actually paid for it too. But that is the first one I think I've I've refused every other friend, but you had helped me so much through the morning process that I say that I- I waved I've. I want you should know that I've introduced no meet Monday since then I very good taking meat off for one day. And you should and, you know, Burger King is has the Dama possible opera now. Now, every location, of course. But I think that we're going to start seeing full proliferation. In fact, I'm going to predict those two daughters on the other side of the glass over there. I am in a predicted their generation is gonna soul look down upon the meat Walker that they will eat nothing but that impossible Walker. They'll they'll call Burger King home of the impossible. They won't even know that the Walker was there you go. There you go and congratulations on your to do our daughters and thank you. They're doing. They're doing good. They're drying Ella. Let uploads and picks after this. We could see what they were doodling over there. Okay. And also thank you for never bringing them to squat mouth because that is not a secure area. And I don't want any kids come through there. No. I'm not going to bring my kids there. We've never seen a kid at squat. Mel have. We know that that neighborhood. There are no children out at night. They're locked up there. Locked up as it should be. It's it's it's a dark area to you know, what I mean. There's dogs are okay. Gone. Honestly, more dogs people should bring more dogs. Yeah. It's is dog friendly event. It is it when people show up with dogs the whole crowd. They just light up. You know, are this jaded Hollywood types, you know, but let's not have too many female comics doing comedy with their dog in their hand on stage because we because that's a trend that you know, here, right? It's a recurring theme. My dogs too big. If I held her she's like, seventy five pounds. So I'm not really I'm not gonna I would like to see that. Yeah. That's a good. You hold the institute of meatless Monday for your dog. Feed chairman down. No, she was she was at eighty. We had to bring your down. She was at. She was bigger. Okay. Well, it is springtime time. People are shedding pounds. Take the dog over to orange theory or something and. Everybody get in shape for some pick out a bathing suit. All right. Why don't we get into our first chart, which is a music charge? Am I to wrap this? I understand to wrap it. All right. I don't know. What meets Abby bread always mixes it up? Here we go now. Oh. Music. We used to play LP's eight tracks cassettes and CDs. Now, we download and we street and come on your Chuck this. Let me hear you scream. They have like a police lineup situation back there. They're hearing any of this. That's right. Watching this way I used to watch Baywatch with the sound off. How would you deny yourself that intro song that thing just brings just makes me happy? Well, I don't know you could still see the CJ not. Let's sure CJ Toby Hobie who's hoping. He was the son, right? Oh, you like to Kobe Hobie Hobie, right? All right. It's been a while. I'm more of a CJ. All right. So what are we got this week on the music chart? We got YouTube top trending songs in the US. Okay. And that is where that's where we get music. Now, these days, even I see these charts on Twitter YouTube is not it's not like, you know, what I mean? It's not a secondary place to go get me off now, especially just checking something out for the first time. Yeah. It's it's easiest one. Right. Yeah. Except for the skip ad and all that crap that is annoying. But other than that it's going, hey because everything's on their on their even when we might do like listen to songs in the car. Sometimes you still playing them on YouTube. Yeah. Definitely in the car. Well, let's see what's coming in at number five number five BT s with persona. Mussa meal. We're talking nation gentleman here K pop, right? Okay. Golden toe legit on this. Good. You know, what this is about an about an incident at a dim-sum restaurant. Someone had ordered the noodle bowl with beef. And chicken was brought an offense was taken. I think just coming started chugging this riff. That's my so hard. Yeah. It does it does it. Yeah. It's fun. You live on k town you to let of that food. It's I like one out for Korean barbecue. But I, you know, then you've got to wash your entire body of all the smoke gets in your clothes. Yeah. Also, there seems to be like as me who doesn't need a ton of you know, that. Yeah. Critter like, you know, there's heads laying on the table by the end of it. There's there's shrimp carcasses everywhere. It's it's a little on the deck inside of meat presentation than I would if you're a vegetarian you can't go anywhere near those places. Yeah. I think so. And then also I always wind up sitting down when to that smoke like, you know, you're talking to your friend about something I like, the deep dive. And then the guy comes over and starts prepping all the barbecue feel like all right? A can't say anything. Right. And then as soon as he leaves I get hit with the big smoke loft. Never give actor conversation. Now. You're now we're all like running the grill. It's a lotta work. So. It's a lot of fun. I think when you first go and you're like, oh, come do this. We should do this all the time. It gets a bit tiresome. Yeah. But I do love that height beer there. What's how? Yes. So dry beer. It's like a very light crisp lager. Very fresh and saves you, right? Yeah. So did you. Yeah. Love. So did is that a Korean beer height height? Yeah. You know, they got a lot of bands coming from over there constantly they innovate with the food. I I think they do a great job. I say continued to let them have their section of town. No down Koreatown anytime, so low blockades. No, all right. What's coming in at number four number four annual AA and DJ Lou Wayne with verti- ear. Two. Chart. A tour of LA cuisine. Now virtue, of course, barbeque. Aw, tacos. Now, we're in. Part of town orient the hotel the whole. Maybe how many how many days a week how many days are we could you Mexican food? Easily five or six days. It's no problem. I four or five for sure and then Korean maybe twice a week. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. I love a bowl. I mean, I eat meat. So I can get down with all that stuff for sure especially Vert day. I mean, that's a sauce. I know that is a green sauce maybe song about food. We're just guessing verite ear ears to go. Go green. Is this a pro is this a new agree? New deal song. I love that. The green new deal is coming will there'd be a stipend for me. Disagree new deal. Give us money. No. Well, it gives some people goes money for jobs for, you know, infrastructure repair, still a change me. My whole deal. Maybe you'll get a maybe you'll get a tax break for being bitch. That'd be nice. You sound like a like a town hall one of those townhall voters right now. Right. Give me money. No was super me. Well, that's why I like the guy Andrew Yang with this state need to. Yeah. I like, I like you. Although even as I'm listening to them and go and give me that stipend. I'm going he has no idea what I'm going to do with that money. He thinks I'm going to start a business with it. You can do whatever you want with it. That's the point of it. But like it. I don't know that a lot of people are going to start businesses split it. Well, no. But they can change jobs. Yeah. Start a business, but they will not continue with the business. I think there'll be a lot of that a lot of a lot of open shots right out. The green new deal will be people taking that money to buy weed age. It's gonna be everywhere by then it's just going to be growing alongside the road. Love it. Oh, the dears. We'll just be eating me fence. Dear. Oh, yeah. Spread the dear high. Dear that's part of it. All right. Well, let's see if this colds with our cuisine of LA tour coming in at number three number three, Arianna grinding in Victoria, Monnet or Monet with monopoly. Beverly hills. The comes. Right. Clin. It sounds like maybe a yogurt place. Do you take two girls for yogurt pink berry? We've been we've been yogurt. We're more of a straight up ice cream families you keep an traditional meeting ice cream. It's not very often the ice cream, but you know, this monopoly clear reference to the the McDonald's monopoly. It's still cuisine. Other you go, but it's Arianna 'Grande style style. At least I have not heard McDonald's mentioned the impossible burger just Burger King. Yeah. Burger King's way ahead of that. Yeah. Yeah. It was a good move for them. They were going to start table service. But that didn't pan out are they just the ones who say they're going to do something new. And then don't really do it. I think they're probably willing to try whatever it takes to to out compete, but I never. I don't know if they deliver or they just get a little publicity pop, then the black Bundy burger, yeah, why you're not pushing any envelopes, you just ask raising questions that was it was out. Like do. They take the bleach out of the bread. And it's supposed to be black. I don't know any extra process to the bread is a bad bad deal stuff to it. Good point. Pride just to get people to take Instagram photos of it. Right. Spread it around. Yeah. It's a hoax. Speaking of hoaxes, everyone thought it was a joke when it began one year ago this week squat melt over at they're behind meltdown. Were you there at the first one Paul? No, I was at the second one. Okay, you're, but you're you're part of the original squats six which is at original cast of comedians that made it such a great fun time. You Cornelis e Cornell read Steven Brody Stevens. Megan Beth key Stor. Chill chill Bill and Brandon Wardell. Yeah. How of course, we will keep coming back with the star like that. It's too. It's too much entertainment under the stars. It's been great under the stars. It's an outdoor show, and it was began in the wake of the closure of meltdown. And everyone thought what is this a goof is this really happening, but we delivered and we gave them a show each and every week. The beginning of it was so fun too. Because there is still all the artifacts. From the town out Darvish and stuff. Yeah. As remembering Johnny Pemberton walking on that spool. Dow was wild. Was there that night that was a one night we had seats, and we had he had a big wooden spoon was walking on it. Like, he was Huck Finn circus show. Yeah. Like a circus show. And it's been amazing that it has been kept going and has provided a home for entertainment all this past year. Well, yeah, we had a last week was tough because you disappeared in the middle of it. Well, I told everybody was leaving. I said I was sick. And I said the max Beesley, I he goes should I host it, you know, because he's a young opportunist. So I said you and Daiki I couldn't even make it over to 'cause I was shivering in almost puking. So I said you in Daiki is that what happened? Did you at him co host it? Yeah. We hosted we came out. And we, you know, let the crowd know what happened set them at ease. And then we did a little tag teaming. Introducing people from there on our people worried like what happened to Kramer. No. We put them at ease. We didn't you know? I don't think anyone was even worried where. They well they were concerned they wanted to know that you are. Okay. Was I gotta tell you when I was bent over that retaining wall. The only person who walked over there. I just hear thanks, and I look, and it was Matt Besser, and he was just thanking me and leaving euro Matt Besser ear wolf zone zero concern for my personal nothing. I was I was bent over wall sweating and shivering and he Hank's man. And just leave us. Right. He knew you had it who is under control for chitchat. That's true. He doesn't suffer fools. No. What I love the when you're sick. You you just let people know as they approach you told you right away. I'm sick. Don't get. Yeah. What they want to get people sick. And then so you what did you guys go up like Joanna in kumail style where you go up together. Or were you going up tag team like one after the other? We went up initially together. And then we close it out. We've did a squat squad talk at the top hung squad. Talk like talking dead, we do talking squat. And then people have the people have any questions. I can't remember what they were. But we definitely feel that if you questions, okay, I was I was really happy. I thought they were going to think, you know, these guys are sure they're regulars. But are they do they have the authority to speak on behalf of squat melt? Right. And we were talking on it. But but what about how about that turn out? We had like fifty sixty people there. Right. Well, it was it was amazing from Joe from the jump. There was about almost fifty people there. And then you said like Wardell showed up like people were still streaming in. Right people came. There are more people. They came after you left more than Brandon for sure. Yeah. It was. Wow. Okay. This week gang is our one year anniversary show, we've got Jona Ray from the original meltdown show, and so many other great. So check out the listings, and we'll see over there at squad melt or Kev what's coming in at number two number two G eazy with west coast who new G eazy. Finnick cleanup. You think? West coast real town business plumage that just got clear merry Christmas more you catch him more. Ills drove a scraper plan is about four twelve. There you go. He was banging Halsey. And then he did some coke. And now he's single right? Young Gerald, Gerald. Right. This is pretty good speaking fast, food and Arianna gronyea which woman does this give GE's west coast. So this fat burger they only have in west coast. Now burger did you hear Arianna grind day is vegan was promoting a Starbucks drink that was non vegan and all her fans like hate. It got really mad about it. Oh, oh. Because it has milk in it. Yeah. I was like a bunch of dairy stuff. And boy. Well, you know, that's that's how fickle this business. Kavita could turn on you in a second. She got me she got meat. Got let me repeat that she got meat. Thank you. Very good hook around and give them dairy. You can't do that. You have as a vegan. You've got two. That's got to be your question. Every time to be on top of this. Right. I would say, you know, that's question one for her. But you know, it's easy to get confused. You don't know. What's in stuff? Right. I don't know what to get like when I go to the fixings bar. I don't know if I'm better off with milk or half-and-half, which is less like offensive. I don't know. I don't know. That's a great question. Maybe the milk because it's only milk whereas half and half is two different milk products. Probably I dunno. I dunno. I thought half-and-half was just a different ratio. Elkan a different cream or something. Yeah. You know? It turns out, I'm not a dairy farm. To get into real expert in here reach heartland to do you think half-and-half was fifty percent one animal and fifty percent and other thing. Well, that's what I'm guessing. Now. Now when he bought like like. You told me right now all your life savings on the line. What is half half? I would say half and half is half cream and have milk. Yes. I agree. Which would mean that if the cream is from different cows. Then you're saying they can make it all from one cow. Yes. I think so. But there is no way. They would do that though. There's no way they're like. All right. Keep this keep her cream here her milk here crossing. So in that sense, you have a chance with milk that it's from one cow half half-and-half half. There's no chance it's like a burger. It's all mixed together. Yes. Yes. Not a state. It's like steak versus burger definitely a picture at all going one huge VAT somewhere, mice dunk. Yeah. They're all is all coming from that beautiful woman. Cow. That was breastfeeding that old man in the pita. No, oh, man. It's a woman's breastfeeding. A cow. It's a woman is a cow with the body of a woman. Feeding an old man. I'm going to collect this right? You're just say. I like it. But I'll tell you. What would be better right now? I haven't even seen it a cow with the body of a woman milking the old, man. Oh, wow. No, that's no Bueno. Oh, I did see that. Yeah. That went around like it though. But I would say the what the couch should be a little bit hotter. And she should be milk in the dude. The cows. Nah. Bad for me. She's she's not bad there. She's fit she's fit. All right. Coming coming in at number one number one, Billie Alex with bad guy. Thank you from that. That I'm the bad guy could. Yeah. That is cool. She's huge right now. Really? Yeah. I think she is capturing the let's call it numbness of this new generation, the these disenchantment the numbness. Yeah. I went to the mall this weekend. And her stuff was like everywhere in every store, the Americano is all over the place. And I've even saw seeing girls dressing like her already she has her own clothing brand now or smile, maybe. It's like merch. I don't know this feels like a new sound to me. Lorde? Breath equality to it. Right. It does like being very tired. But moving fast. Thank you. Don, the city streets, but you're drunk. You're on a bird scooter, but into ambiance, exactly. Where I took a night time like a nighttime cold medicine. And I I didn't I was like wary about it. But that's like I got to be able to sleep and it's like for the day and a half afterward. I really feel like I've taken ambient like is it the same stuff. That's in Ambien like like a Sita and a cold medicine. I don't know. But it's in lean right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's what I've I've been feel like all war beliefs since I took that stuff. Yeah. Now, you can't stop because you've got that great lean swagger nonstop Stockman gonna give it. Oh, God give it all to you. You know? She your daughter anybody could take. I'm not advocating that does what low Wayne feels like all day. Right. I guess, but he's doing it on purpose. Yeah. I don't want it suppressive. It's crazy that he doesn't. And then he took up skateboarding. It makes you feel war belief. Balance is all relative. Well, that wasn't didn't sound like food. But the rest of them did what a great chart YouTube is keeping us up to date on the new trends, and we'll be right back with the movies chart. And we're back. I'm H Michael crayon. I'm here with Paul Hanky. What's your middle? Name augustine. Yeah. That's awesome. On the holsters. So why use for showbiz? I thought about it. But it's felt like a whole mouthful. It is a mouthful all Augustine danke. Yeah. PHD? But I do like, you know, if you break it apart. It's August teen sounds like a nice car moving. Yeah. August team. It sounds like my summer trip to Israel. Thank you, sandy, you know, like sandy in grease. Yeah. That was my girlfriend in in Israel for the summer. So I came back. A so move. She's still out there. She still out there. She was from Glendale. She was half Argentinian who who but she's in Israel still. No, she was from Glendale. So she moved back to Glendale at that's and probably got with a a gentleman who had in life in front of him. All right. Let's do the movies chart. Just like tweets, are you ready? Release them constantly. Most of them. We don't need to see. When you get a good one. All right away. I just love that. You've got a great who we thank you. Oh, wait. Crib. That from way. Remember, all right. Let me read a letter this came from my squat melter this came to my home. And I was cut to the part that is relevant. Here. We go. Dear howard. I want to make sure you know, how incredibly grateful. We are all for you putting squat melt together, and keeping it going through all the challenges all of us have formed such an amazing community and built such fulfilling friendships just because you brought us together and gave us a fund always positive experience Scott, and I went to the lunar new year parade this year with trees and Emily dare we ran into Susanna in Evans and all made plans to go out in the future. There isn't a night that we have gone home from squat melt and not talked about how much better our life is since it started. And since we moved into the city village Abacus that you have created the active fund community. We spent our lives looking for. Yes. And shared it with us. Believe me, the blah, blah, blah. There you go and that comes from Carly, and Tom, Tim, Tim, Tom, Tim, Tom, Tim. I always fuck names. No. I think you've gotta Tim, Tom, Tim. Scott. That's amazing. Yep. No offense guy. I suck with names. In fact, I just got the name of Erin. He's to go who made the Brody stickers. And he's been coming there for forty weeks to. So shout out to Scott and Carly, Emily and trees as Susanna and Evans and Susannah. Yeah. That's Zana duly bony who did the stickers and EVA's her guy. They always come. They're there every week. And so who knew just from this dumb idea that it would not only give comics a place to perform, but it will give the audience a place to bond, and I like that she described it as fun community. That's what's missing from a lot of people's lives. When you say, absolutely definitely that's a hard thing to find in the city, where can we go or it's fun. And we get a sense of community. Yeah. I think there's too much of it. That is especially in the comedy world. Is you go, and you are you participate as just a consumer of it? Yes. And it's just not as satisfying. Yes. Explain that public is. I don't know if that comes through we do a show on a parking lot. I don't know that people know exactly like while there is a sense of community. And there's a sense of I'm not just a guy filling a seat at a club. Yeah. Yeah. Because you're were altogether. You know, there isn't a green room. There isn't a place really for the comedian still separate themselves, right, which they just love to we love doing that. Which with the retaining wall is sort of the green room. Yeah. I tell people to shut up over there. It's an open for plan green room where they can see what also it's like when you go to the club. You're just kind of being processed through the club. When you go here, you're part of the tribe, and it's the whole tribe versus anything that might come in. Who knows the cops might bust. It the psycho might come by who knows what's going to happen. So it is kind of a bonding thing in a way. Yeah. It's it's a share or all sharing in the same. There's that underlying tension of what anything could happen because we're in the wild ride in the jungle of very famously about. And that's exciting stuff. Does hat like weird things happen here? Things have happened. I mean, look look at all the things that have happened. We've been through it. You know, we've we've had all all members of the you know, we've had the fire department. We've had police we've had we've had ambulances. Everyone is first responders low the city's resources coming to squad. They come the squad. Of course, there's homeless people inside the building right there, which gives us and they come in and out during people sets. I mean, you just never know what's going to happen over there. And that's another reason to come by. And check it out. Yeah. It's really it's completely different. It really is completely different. Even you know as a veteran house party performer. This is even further off because people are invited, but you can just wander in and people do walk by and it is a mystery. Yes. To the uninitiated this large group of people. Sometimes there's a light on the performance. Sometimes there's not, but there's no microphone. No mike's. We've never had them. I know we don't need it though lead. It. Guys. Tree just. Yeah. Just trees up in a tree. And so in conclusion, it's just a much better value than going out to the movies. All right. Let's see what's coming in at number five number five five feet apart people with cystic fibrosis aren't supposed to get within six feet because you could end up catching each other's bacteria. Our lives. So we're breathing. Borrowed air. No, I refuse to believe that. A couple of teenagers with life threatening illnesses. Meet in a hospital and yak it up for an hour and forty six minutes. I'm out. This is a hard pass for me. I mean squat Mola's San in its own, right? But it's not this sad. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why you would choose this over squat melt going to see a medical deal. Like, this kind of looks like it was created through a like, a mad lib or just an algorithm creating television show for twenty nineteen right? You know, what I think kids love to feel like they're suffering and then with this. It's like ham legitimately suffering. It's not like, depression or ADHD, which may not be real. These kids have real they've got cystic. Fibro is it. And so they have real problems. I mean, they're beautiful as well. You know? Yeah. That's another thing. If you're going to get really sick, at least should have great bone structure, you know, gray hair. I've tried. But with my jaw. I wonder if they listen to Billy ocean. Then like go watch this. Yeah, they go well together weekend yet matches up. Right. You just after the third lions roar. You turn on the Billy island it syncs up. What is it called again five on five five feet apart of five feet apart? Oh, by the way, you know. I got sick on that plane. And now look what I'm carrying with me. I got the D sanitize right with I send my friend says get the handy wipes, and as soon as you get on the plane wipe down that whole tray and that whole TV smart. That is a good. I'm never not doing that again. Yeah. I don't even think about that. And I have wipes with me all the time planes are d'etre wiped down the person next to you to wipe them down. Arm exposed arm. Stick on stick a wipe in their mouth. Make eye contact with the flight attendant and wipe down the food. They're giving you. Yes. Obviously not recede. Don't drink the water on the plane, drink the juice because the waters in a tank unless. I don't know. But I don't drink the tea same thing because the water from the tank, okay? Right. Good point. All right. What's coming in at four number four unplanned. To make a real difference. Is this a pro life movie? Yes. Let me read. You Levy read what's going on here. No pro-life by France. Interesting Abby Johnson is one of the youngest Planned Parenthood directors in the US after she is asked to assist in an abortion at thirteen weeks. Gestation she instead resigns becoming a pro-life activist come on. It seems every spring is when they put out the Christian movies for Easter. Oh, good point. Wow. Wow. Sister same hospital if the five feet apart Kizer. It's the second floor. So busy and depressing hospital hundreds of children. And Lord, we pay what if these kids are going to grow up to be the sick teenagers. Maybe we spare them, right? Yeah. Yeah. But then it would rob us all of a really wonderful movie coming in at number five five feet apart part. Rough day at the office. Wow. That's a punchline show that was the laflin right there. Strange. What this is the same. If I said, a guy who works in a slaughterhouse gets weirded out and becomes a, you know works for pita. Let's make that. Yes. That's your follow up. Yeah. This seems doable. This is this is the number four. Yeah. Movie. Who did they cast for the fetus? Oh, it's. It's Verne Troyer. How are you? He's gone far p it's hard to keep up. Implant. Anyway, this one's a buck fifty minutes. I'm going to say you gotta go to squat melt and squat Mela is planned out. By the way. It's not an open mic. No. It's a book event and something that people have loved now for fifty two weeks. Another better value squat melt. All right. Let's he was coming in at three number three, captain marvel. Your life began the day nearly ended. We found you with no memory. We made you one of us. So you could live longer stronger. Superior. You were read or. Is this you taken the girls to this one Daiki? I think I would maybe let them watch it at home perhaps bucket could be overwhelming. I don't like a lot too much violent action for my children fed smarter. Young for that. No question. I don't love the space oriented marvel movies. I'm with you on that. I prefer the more. Grounded. I mean, ironman is a more grounded than Earth-based. Yeah. More base. Maybe that's just because you know, I'm trapped in the past. But, but I'll watch this movie. I won't why. I'll it'll come on Netflix at I'll have it on. But I probably will watch. It has an American. I feel like it's my responsibility to follow the marvel cinematic universe. Still the bitter end. They are they're they're like our royalty. Now, right. I remember when it started. I'll tell my grandchildren, ironman, one came out, and how it changed everything. Do you think there's anyone that watches all the Kardashians, and all the superhero movies, and it's a full plate. Do you think? There's anyone who does that. I'll tell you what I don't think I have a job. They don't have time for squat mess up time for squad, which is a better value. And we we invite all people of all planets. Everyone is welcome. People love this movie, though, who they? Yeah. It seems like it's one of the good ones seems like people just love every single marvel movie. He I'm trying to remember the last time the people like well that was dog shit ironman too is pretty weak. I remember that but other than that that's a while ago that was a while ago. Well, it's a little bloated two hours and eight minutes. That's a lot of Bree. Or what's coming in at number two number two us. Kidding, right? Hey. Jason. Joss? Oh, sure. I didn't know if he were lost stick with me. Escape. As a family our driveway. Ooh, scary families serenity turns to chaos when a group of d'appel gang begins to tear. Oh, that's what that's about. Oh, okay. Way too scary way too scary. I'll never see. Whoa. Oh my God. That is scary. Yeah. When they were walking on their arms like that. See this one. I the only one here saw no spoilers. Okay. Why don't you think is very good? It's very good. I didn't totally love it as much as get out. But it's a very smart movie. It kind of just becomes like a scavenger hunt of of symbols in metaphors and stuff play dumb for this. I can already tell me to be over my head. There's a million things. And and it gives you like a million questions at the end, and you want to Google it and talk about it. I like it when they wrap it up with the by themselves. Yeah. Right. Yeah. There's a little bit of a frustration factor there. But it's really good. It's really good. It's in the more. You think about it? You're like, oh, yeah. That's really smart. Maybe we'll go see it in pieces. Take in a few minutes of the type of movie, I would like to our watch with the IMDB trivia section open. And I'll just all enjoy the movie, but I'll have to remain detached doesn't scare me too much. And I'll get understand what I'm actually watching while. I'm watching it. And you know, that is true. Because if you're like constantly looking for behind the scenes information and stuff that you don't get us. Like scared. And just this this. This look scary. I'm scared for her. And I of course, who say anytime, you're at the beach the real scares in the water. Right. I mean, how much what would I don't know why they're where they always at the beach or the beach plays a part? But it's not like jaws. It's not about the water should be. Yeah. It'd been an aquatic d'appel ganger family. Murph oak. I mean. Cool. Let's take this back to let's rewrite this pit. Let's take it back. I know it's doing well. And it's already released, but I think we can figure version. Yeah. Flip it make it aquatic. Put it all in the water. But congratulations again to guy who you know, came from the world of comedy. And yeah. I mean, he's like a genius. There's no question that he's he's like he's putting some insane things together. Like his message behind it. It's really really crazy. It's just stuff. Yeah. All right. Let's coming in at number one number one Dumbo. Oh, hell. Yeah. You know, this is Tim Burton, by the way. Yeah. This is supposed to be kind of scary. The original Dumbo gets pretty dark. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty quickly too. Something very rare. You have wonder. Jumbo magical somehow. Yeah. You can fly he believes that he can fly. And that's that's what it's the magic is about. I've seen the original Dumbo and. I'm assuming the theme say stay the same. What's happening? We're taking your. Take them back inside mall. Usa seem story is the elephant man. So this is number one. I thought it wasn't doing as well. Now critics give it forty nine percent. Well, that's not good right now. It's surprising that it's number one. It's got too many things working against it to get critics approval. It's a remake its Tim Burton yet. It's disney. That's a lot of things for a hit person ago. It's not gonna be great or I'm not gonna enjoy it it grows to one hundred twenty million now it's opening weekend. I wonder if like it's just a all the kids are seeing it will you people extol matter for children's generally doesn't look bad to me. No looks looks great. What I've heard is not exactly for kids. Yeah. It can be scary to a kid. See we I run because I have children of two dollars or seven and five and we run into this often where it's like, you remember movie all this is a funny movie. We try to watch the Addams family, and I was like, oh, wait you didn't grow up watching the Addams family TV show, and the munsters you're not indoctrinated into this ironic villain world that they're in a confused reached out. We had a turn it off after ten minutes. Not sorry about those nightmares will not be resolved for years to come. It's too scary to get through it. Thanks a lot Moody's. They'll help you screw up your kids. He sinks. Well, one a slate. I'd say in summation, go see us, right? Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Or that abortion thing if that's you deal. I just can't believe that that is what other movies could possibly be out right now that those are the the fourth and fifth movies since sane. Maybe our music picks will be better than these movies. We'll be right back with the hot PEX. Bigs. Picks. The third Jarvis countdowns south to start. Let see who bit. And let's see you did not. Topics. I like that. That's awesome. All right. We're back with the hot picks. Right. You're recording. Yeah. We're back beautiful. We're here with my friend p Augustine did he you. Yes. Right. I got to work at it. And it is a good middle name. I mean, if you got it why not right? I'm as like, a vampire hunter or something. Oh, yeah. Oh, Augustine danke many scalps. How do you kill a vampire heartache? Heart cut their hair off or you serve them, a nice, garlic dish, garlic. No. No, no. Where they eat. It. It repels them. Why would they eat it? Yeah. Garlic's good. I don't know garlic and a lot of recipes, but it repels them. So why were they would put the fork and go I don't want this. Seemed like they would know immediately. They smell it. I mean you smoke garlic from to. Cost them with that nonsense. I'm repulsed by jazz, you serve it to ma'am. Is that true all jazz, replied, all jazz, of course. But as far as like. You know, when it gets who would what I'm just saying, you're repulse when it gets too jazzy. Like when it's yeah. I'm just saying there's usually I'm in the mood for Jess was put that. Well. Oh. And even for all the people who tell you listen to miles Davis. And all that, you know, it's work. You know that it's work. Yeah. You're digesting it you're processing it. Right. I do like like the New Orleans style. Whatever frontline is that what that style. It used to be called Dixieland, but that's not a proper. What about from frontline frontline? Yeah. I've ever heard that term for that's all the horns and stuff that you see like the, parades and stuff. Yeah. I love that brought mine music. It sounds like something's really happening. Well, I'll tell you what you know, doesn't like jazz at all. And they live. They're from New Orleans. It is goes whether named a little Wayne. The best music ever to come out of New Orleans is the cash money millionaires, bling blankets. All that stuff. You're not with that. There's no way I really they put the south on the map for me. They took over for the nine nine in two thousand and they've kept it taking over there. Taking over for almost twenty years. Let me ask you this. What what terms did that miles? Davis coin will Wayne came up with the blazing heat. He invented the word. Blink. That's a big one. That's a big. Yeah. Sorry miles. Okay. Yeah. Sorry, miles take a vaccine pal. Okay. Louis Louis Armstrong can't touch that. Well, he's from Sydney from New Jersey with us count Basie one of those guys. Okay. So we are going to listen to some hot picks. It's a this week squat one year anniversary. And what is our first pick have had number five number five. It's how he's picked Birdman juvenile with just another gangsta, and where are they from? That's right. The noble yet. Orleans. Maybe. Maybe. Chase bags. In. Kate through. Both the best way. I like it. The beat is kind of Oakland day, but I like me some juvenile and some Birdman. Yeah. Juvenile looks great to as an age today. Go because he's had back in that ASO. I love his voice. See them back. You know? Yeah. This is fun bird. When I mean, it's you know. I don't want to have to process it. Unlike a socially conscious level, that's not going there. They're the ones who brought it to the bling and the cars and everything like that. And even they have made the comment that we didn't know it was going to take over the entirety of hip hop. Even we didn't know that. So we were just doing what we know. Right. Then they're the ones who kind of. Yeah. That it's been kind of commercial to do that ever since. I mean, they rescued us from no limit records as far as I'm concerned. And I thought Nolan was a pretty pretty rough up masterpiece. Yeah. I I'm not a big fan of no limit the sound very sound general. So I'm not a fan of that. Well, they were you're right. They were there in New Orleans even before cash money millionaires. But I'd like to allow that stuff with the tank, and it was a lot of raw roths kind of fun stuff. But I feel you on that. All right. What's coming in at number four number four. It's Paul's pick. Liz. Oh, and Missy Elliott with tempo. Where's lizotte from we found out yet? I know Missy Elliott is from Virginia Beach. Cake. Is enough put the rest of the slow songs skinny house. They move here to one of those big Johnny Detroit. Oh. I like this one a lot that was mostly missing on their origin. Minne- minneapolis. Okay. I'm seeing your daughter's just look in here. It makes me so anxious somehow they can hear it. Thank you. These were your kids ever listened back to this episode. Yeah, I'm going to play for them on the right home fast. I'm recording on my phone. He gives you day. Oh, that's a lot of fun as a great song. Or let's see who's. Number three. It's Brett's pack. This is the Klay pool Lennon deliri- occurs. That's less Klay poof from primus and Tom Lennon from gave a variety. Rescued rescue nine one one who's the Lenin in this, Sean, John Lennon. Oh, wow. This is his best work in my opinion. Okay. To me, I never a huge fan of his. But this is like love, Sean Lennon's back catalogue. I don't know. This band is good. Okay. It's like it's a super group or whatever. But they're doing good is a good song. Well, it is. Very Beatles area. Specially. But like the base, of course, that's a good song. I mean, it's like a classic sound exalts. I like Adelie this whole album. It's it's pretty Beatles. He, but I like it. Yeah. The beatles. Always needed a better bass player. I always said as a guy use them more of a harder. On the pick more about beavers. Come on. That was a great song. Oh, great. Love rinus. I would like to see like Klay pool and Birdman or something. Yeah. The album's good. I gotta say I like it. All right. Turn that off. Yeah. All right cab. What's coming in at two. Number two. It's my pick Cleal Patrick with Sanjay. You don't usually pick hard stuff like this. What are you doing? What's this about? This is about a group of friends who all call in sick at work. So they can party all night on on -tario rock band that I discovered today like very cool, California. Terio does. Mall out there. Yeah. The mills that sounds like it would be it was written at the mills kind of Soundgarden a little darker a little bit Chris Cornell. I guess. Well, that one is dark, but was your that's your last topic for us, isn't it? Yeah. This is I guess the big announcement. This is the announcement right now we have yet. Oh boy. I thought we did I'm sorry about that. Do you wanna make the announcement? Sure. I'm going to be my job is shifting a little. I'm going to be working a little more with the team. Coco productions and still your wolf stuff. But this is my last episode of who charted. Oh, no. I wanna thank how in Brett. Because this is the longest I think LA relationship career thing I've ever ice started on the six months after I moved LA. Wow. Yeah. And I've I haven't had any like jobs or anything that have lasted this long. I mean, it's been my entire time in L A, basically. Well, we're glad to be part of your LA history. Eugenicist goes for. Bigger and better place things to do. But we'll still see you hear around the office. That's right and huge for the show. Thank you so much. You got your your contributions have been enormous. And I'll even thank him behalf of coup up you came in while she was still on the program, and I you through interviewed him as early. Well, she brought you through and you've got a arson amazing job. I can always count on the show running like a top and congratulations to Conan. And Andy who never else will use your services over there and bomb boy, but we'll be seeing you still every week out and about over by the food area. That's right. Tonight's food area. Similar cries. Thank you very much though. Of course. And well, so there was were learning a little bit something about you on the way out is that you have a taste for the harder stuff. End with the very appropriate. Another choice by sure number one. It's Elon Musk with RIP or on bay. I hear this. Strong. And we think. Thank for kind of like in this. No. No. Not timely at all. Two years ago or something within an April Fools joke or not? I mean, I don't know. I don't know half a million people watch this video. And it does make me remember her on bay. I miss him. I don't think about him enough, but he got screwed. He left us too early. That's for sure it was doing everything. Right. Yeah. Followed all the rules. Well, you can check out all these songs on the stream on Stitcher premium. Spotify playlist do that to Spotify playlist follow the who charted hot picks twenty nineteen Spotify playlists. Analysts into stream on seizure premium. And listen this to mean say it again prehistory Stitcher premium and you'll join us for one last premium straps, right? Got a fun one. Got a fun one. That's why we still got a prima ahead of us. So tune in for that everybody. It's behind the pay wall on the Stitcher. Daiki you've got agreed album. It's called thank thank dank, and they can get that where they can get on a on I tunes daughters knocking. Vitas my daughter's knee hurts Oko. It's not okay. Is it bleeding in the medical ish? Okay. Gimme a minute. These are just a plug. All you gotta do is plug it, and then you can go plug up her bleeding knee. It's just so funny that my daughter's on the other side of this window, and she's writing out notes to let me know that her sister as a hurt knee. Couldn't be more adorable, nor is there anything I could do to help. I totally go talk to Rene out front. But just being a nice sister. He yeah. He's doing the right thing. What a champ. So anyway, the album is available on a special thing. Records on a special thing records, you know, tell your local comedy club you'd love to have me come through. There you go. Go ahead and rate it very gripe to my YouTube. I don't close anything to find you on social on at Paul danke. I'm gonna work the aug change all of my handle JJ ahead with all right, Kev. They'll find you on but you'll be showing up on these bigger programs. Yeah. A little bit. You can follow me on Twitter at Kevin j Bartelt and Kev Bartell on Instagram by also be Eddie Roth a couple days a week. So I'll still see US. Okay. And start your over there. Yeah. Brett's per minute on Twitter and Brett Morris Graham on Instagram. Check it out you can find all my stuff. Patriots sign up for that. I got all the video back from Lance bags. I'm going to be posting tons of great stuff on there. I did take a hiatus in March because the the Brody thing, but I will be back for April. So thanks everybody. So much for supporting on that you can go over to EBay up Austin stories DVD go over to have a summa dot com slash shop to pick up. Any of the t shirts are albums help to keep the lights on. And thank you so much, and we'll see you right here next week on who charted. But I wanna like talk about the problems. I want to talk about an issue. But I can I say also you look gorgeous. I'm and I'm Charles, and this is the problem with Charles the problem with Charles Casey each week against will bring us a problem. They're having in their life. What we unpack it reflect on it. And generally talk shit. I season will be helping solve the problems of guest like Louie Anderson. I wanted retribution because I'm from a big family. So you don't you don't you have to get back up people sometime. Jessica Williams, I'm gonna laugh at your token now that I'm going to cry. And Chelsea Peretti comedy fest. Actually didn't know it goes in and out. It's really effortlessly funny. Listen to the problem with Charles in Casey starting Monday, April. I only on your will.

Burger King Tim Burton LA Paul Usa YouTube Lou Wayne Scott Brandon Wardell Tom Lennon Daiki Hollywood Abby Johnson New Orleans Israel Howard Chris Cornell Arianna gronyea Bert Kreischer p Augustine
698. Thomas Lennon, Rob Huebel, Lily Sullivan, Jay Pichardo

Comedy Bang Bang

1:18:25 hr | Last month

698. Thomas Lennon, Rob Huebel, Lily Sullivan, Jay Pichardo

"Right now on your will celebrate women's history month by checking out history. The sheikh will have aaron gibson all episodes available now. Wherever you get your podcasts. Happy listening more than fifty million men in the us. Sounds like fifty million. In one suffer from male pattern baldness yet. There are only two. Fda approved medications that can prevent hair loss. Well keeps offers both giving those many men fifty million who wanted a simple stress free way to keep their hair who wanted a simple stress free way to keep their hair. Does that make sense. I don't know. But what i do know is that keeps has both of the fda approved medications that can prevent the hair loss keeps convenient. Virtual doctor consultations and medications are delivered straight to your door every three months. No one has to know you're bald. you don't have to leave your home. Who's leaving their own. These days no keeps comes to you. It's low cost. 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Bang episode of comedy bang is brought you by squarespace from websites and online stores to marketing tools and analytics square is the all in one platform to build a beautiful online presence in. Run your business. There's no hidden fees or price hikes and all websites are optimized for mobile. And it's so simple. You start with the design template and use drag and drop tools aka your fingers to make it your own head to squarespace dot com slash bang. Bang for a free trial and when you are ready to launch us that offer code bang bang to save ten percent off your first purchase again by pushing bye eight that plum with such aplomb. Camelot my bum. Just like a bomb. Welcome to comedy bang bang. Thank you to chaz fremont the third or that might be chas freeman till or chaz fremantle. However you want to interpret those vertical stroke marks stroke marks. Is that what you call those dirty. Thank you to chas free month. The third though for that catchphrase submission and welcome to comedy bang. Bang by the way speaking of catchphrase submissions. Last week kesri superstar tutti but submitted a previously submitted catchphrase on the show and just rewrote the end to it and then submit it like it was new well. That's catchphrase submissions shenanigans. And i want nothing to do with that tuti but to but you are on notice. Don't go submitting old. Catch raises intrigue me. And just because i liked him before. Probably like don't go tricking me at a like it. Chas freeman third though. Thank you so much for that and welcome to the show. Scott offerman here. We have a great show today. We have come up the show in a block again. We have an entertainer. That'll be very exciting. We'll be talking to him about his upcoming movie coming out this friday we also have dental hygienists. We also have Oh this is interesting. I have one of my stockers is on the show. Oh okay all right well Interested in talking to them about exactly what they like about me and what they're doing to stock me so that'll be interesting but let's just get to it. Let us terry no further. Our first guest is the aforementioned entertainer. And what an entertaining one. He is. He's entertained us for decades at this point ever since he started out as a member of the seminal sketch group the states which people can see on paramount. Plus i believe right now episode myself paramount. Plus thank you hot sauce for men and seminole means full of semen. Blood piss semen. Everything is raised. We're going with all the all of us. All the fixings as we call it. When i when i think of a very very juicy comedy group i definitely think of the state. Well you guys had ten ten members that produce semen and only one that produced the ovaries. Isn't that right. that's right. She produced so many ovaries as i mean. I haven't read any books on that. But i think that is that is how that works right. She produces them meaning shows them to her suitor. For the for the record there were other women in the state before kerry kerry killed them all. Are you familiar. With game of thrones. But i actually. Here's a weird detail. You ready for this. I am a replacement member of the state. Scott whoa do did you replace. I replaced a wonderful actor named george demons still my friend to this day. He's a terrific actor a little more. Here's maybe touch more gravitas than i have you on any of gravitas. I mean that's one thing about it. I don't want to say your name because i haven't introduc- he eh. That's the one thing and acting are as yourself from things like dark knight and the other thing where you played a doctor for christopher nolan you have plenty of sure. The i can't remember the name of that movie about the guy can't remember every anything inception insomnia one of his in movies in and out. It's called out secret menu. It's called tenement and it goes backwards which is interesting because the word. I don't know if you know that. The word tenement is the same backwards as forwards scott. It's because he knows on my face. Noses is another word. That's a pal. Andrew power is also a pound drum. It is so yes scott weird piece of trivia that. I've never told you i'm not. I joined the state a year and a half after it was formed as a group. It was it was terrible. If you've never been in a comedy group and hot sauce for men. I believe you know what it's like to work in a comedy circles. It's it's. I've circled comedy. I think is how you describe it. I've like been on the perimeter of kind of going. Should i dip my toe into this. I'm not quite sure there is nobody hanging out right next to that pool. Closer than you are. And i am. I'm close to the pool. I'm not in the poll we should. There's been times senior waiting around. Sir i was just i was just thinking about mister show the other day. Really where are you thinking about january. Six i was thinking about. I was thinking about wonderful. The hitler's hitler's apple butter. Should you have anything to do with hitters up. That was one of my i. I didn't i didn't. I did not write that. Although it a it was a all need not a transition. What do we call those. We call them links. It was a link and that first episode of season for it has terribly lazy links. And i believe that was because i was a new writer on it but but it is a funny one but such a funny one. I think i think it came up because either for reno nine one one. Oh i'm sorry spoilers of who i am. Did you say ken marino. Nine one or just reno nine one. No no no. We're doing a show. Now called ken marino. Nine one one. Here's what happened. He calls nine one one Every time he took marino is gonna look at it as well. Okay okay for men ready for this. I am very rahm if there were a show called ken marino. Nine one one i- unnamed guest on your show coming up have only been to the hospital like in an emergency three three times in my life Of the two out of the three times. I've had to go to the emergency room. Ken marino took me so ken marino nine one one is not a far fetched idea. Sir right so. He was responding to nine one one calls. This is golden so first time can reno took me to a. The emergency room was in new york. I had nosebleed. That wouldn't stop like for a day. Twenty four hours of bleeding. Nellie it was really bad. It was really really bad really bad by the way and then we sat in the waiting room with two nypd cops and they taught us the trick that you gotta learn. What's your nose starts bleeding. A lot pinch the bridge guys pinch. The bridgier knows angels of your knows how to in new york city. Cops know this because there are so so and then the second time ken marino rushed me to hospital and this was maybe the best time. We are in the greek island Hot sauce from end. You're super familiar. With the greek island of mala. Greek islands cetera. You love the the cyclades. i believe. They're called so we slept in me and marino and joe Dave wayne catting around the greek islands. Like you used to do. We have not slept in two or three days but in those two or three days. We've done nothing but drink pure all day long in the hot sun how that would put me to sleep. How are you staying up for seventy. Never none of us have ever slept yet. So the guy We all went. He's as me joel. Trivial star of brooklyn nine. One one the guy says do you know how to ride to work the gears on vespas and we all say because we're comedians from new york we say. Of course we do now. It turns out this wasn't actually true. I did not know how the gears worked a foot thing. And a hand thing anna. We're heading up this hill. My first hill. On a a real vespas and i start sh. I got a shift down. So i can get up the hill. I shift and this best. It's gone gary. Gary are you back actually really got me there. Oh sorry friend of mine. Well actually the best one starts. Swear sweet god. Your vespa sounds like an old friend of mine. I never cared for those episodes to be honest dividers anyway. So i hit the top of the hill and i realized oh i've been shifting into like i didn't know what i was doing so anyway when i got to the top of the hill the vespa kick into gear at like fifty fifty five miles per hour which i was not ready for so i lay down this vespa on a road in mykonos. You know going about fifty ish or something. I'm wearing linen pants and a linen shirt which are all shredded decided to protect the vest but with my body. Not your your own body with the vespa. That's i know it would have been in hindsight. That would have been a really great move scott but had a deposit on this vest on the thing and the guy had taken a picture of my passport or something so i decided to save the vespa ripped my hand clean. Open road rash from my hip to my angle. Camerino basically throws me into his arms like like some sort of living a donna's and he runs up the hill with me to the nearest house. 'cause i'm gushing blood from melik. The kate bush special were running up that hill with no problem. Weird thing though is it did hurt me. Do you wanna know how it feels hot sauce for men so we get to a house and was two of the handsome est That was super handsome. American gay couple opened the door. And there's shirtless. Ken marino holding me like the pa. Taw gushing blood. So i guess the answer is can reno nine one pretty pretty good show amazing. Have you guys slept since then or no. We know we definitely took like a disco nap. Slept about fifteen minutes since then. We closed our isn't and that in the meantime. I'm in between like children's hospital and night at the museum to nine. Am to well. Let's let's talk about your credits tom. It wasn't amazing. Show business story. Thank you so much for that. But i said your name as well. So let's let's just do fun night at the museum night at the museum to we have viva variety which i don't see on paramount plus. I would literally literally working on that as we speak. There's a series of emails inbox about. Would you also join some emails regarding the show executive produce with me but jillion dollar properties that would be great would love to get that up on paramount plus as well. The so doable. But doesn't is that owned by no zahra mount. Yes let's get it. I know the guy to call. I can do that all right very good you. He has an upcoming movie. Coming out this friday called shoplifters of the world but please welcome back to the show thomas hello thank you so much. It's nice to really great to be here. I i. I did mention your your movie coming out this friday. Let's talk about it. I shoplift world shoplifters. Oh it's a great picture but it's it's funny. I was in a movie with rob hubel. That rob hubel actually suggested that ibn and that movie was called what to expect. When you're expecting so. I checked in with rob and i was like i don't know this seems like kind of a cheese ball movie rob's like doesn't matter we're going to be in and it's going to be awesome nobody cares. We'll get rich. It's going to be a big hit so came over you rob and had nothing to do with the movie though. I mean that was interesting shirt. So maybe he just knew that you were in this movie. It would lead to the creative juices flowing in such a way that you would write night at the museum. A bunch of fun stuff happened. Which is we went down to atlanta. We made the movie. We got to dance around jaylo a couple times. Well that's fun right. Oh far so fun and one. The things is one of the other guys oppose the data in that movie. Is joe manchin annella. You know joe manganiello. I do not know him personally. But i know his work of course from the movie. Yeah solid wall of muscle. Usually he's cast is like shirtless sex wolf four. He's cast is like a door that you know you. You need to breakdown in order to access a room right magic sex door. I believe in magic mike. He plays his character magic. Mike called sex door or sex dwarf. I'm not sure the software one of his an astonishingly. He's like a real specimen of a man key pumps up his penis than somebody. Did somebody say pump up a penis. Is someone zoomed jacking. Just zoom jacked. I was driving around in my car. Listening to the podcast. And i had to call in because i heard somebody talking about pumping up a penis. We've who's this is this. This cut blocker man. You know who this is. This is rob ewbal. Whoa wait a minute. You heard your name and you just magically appear might vast driving around in my car. Somebody implied that. I was not rich Okay how else would i afford. This honda civic. I'm driving. I apologize here le tom. I hope you don't mind we. Oh my gosh no means you. Were just talking about him. Hold on let me let me introduce him. Can we introduce them. I guess yeah you know him with me today. i guess he's my special co host. Today you know him from. Mtv's human giant. He played the bad guy in the film. I love you mad guy. There was no bank. Okay well he played the man with the different point of view from the protagonist. I was just tan. Okay all right okay. So he played the tanguy. Pardon me and you can see him in medical police on netflixif playing another bad guy or a tanguy. Pretty pale guy. We're tail pretty pale in this. Please welcome rob you bill. Thank you for having me scott. This this is exciting. This is so exciting. I have to say. I just want to get straight what this show is about. Is this show going to be funny or show. You're on right now or do we just talk about stuff. That is funny. No no yeah no. The show is deadly deadly dry in and and we just we explain why something is funny. So we're gonna concern that's all it is. That's all we're really gonna do now. Okay so now. I mentioned you're part of human giant correct. You're one third of human giant or your one fifth. I don't know how you guys divvy third disease get more. Is he like two thirds or it's done by height. So i am a thirds. Wait no meeting about that. Yeah we do the show and the show is that that's the number one question you get. Yeah people keep asking that. I think we'll probably do some more stuff. You know right now. We're all just doing different things later. Go like right now. We're working on a movie script. Good it's good. Yeah everybody's doing different stuff. That's what happens demands. All the time they do different we have solo project. Always get back together it goes. I'm sorry i am. I pretending that i'm here. Not your yeah you're well. I know i introduced you. But you're pretending like you're not here at this point. Okay okay. yeah so. We'll just tease. She didn't no no. No no no no no no easy. All right from reno nine eleven also from i love you. Man has gone. Yeah real quick. Time out We try not to say nine eleven when we say the name of the show. You don't call it. You know nine eleven. Well we try not to invoke the worst history basically in the in the history of the united states saw. Okay i mean. I know pearl harbor. Death count is higher. No i don't think so. No i don't think it is when you created the show. Did you actually think of calling it. Reno pearl harbor. We did but we felt like that was a little bit from. Grandma's attic is confusing. Yeah it was a tragedy that was just too old tiny. Yeah even finish the introduction. Did we say it's tomlin and yet no. It's don that's true. This is his second introduction. Ll guys it's so great to have you on the show together again. Raw that human giant script. You see i got. We'll talk about our solar projects more later solar projects. I by the way. Rob called in from his car right as i was plugging shoplifters the world joe manganiello who we met on a beautiful picture in atlanta. You you guys both know joe. Manganiello was echo. Yeah yeah oh yeah. We've seen push ups. Did he do in a row or did he do them all like he. He did one he took a break was out of breath and then he's like okay. Went back to it after about ten minutes. It was more like that. Yeah yeah he took a little break. He took a little break. But he's he's he's he's in really good shape. I haven't seen him in a while. I'm assuming he's he's human shaped as far as i'm concerned he's not square. He's not circular talk about human giant. Wait on a movie with joe mentioned. Low we're plugging human giants new movie. That's coming up rob. Is that correct. No there's no movie coming up but insurance stretch right right right because that by the way. Do we ever address that now scott. How many times have we done the intro. I don't know what you're talking about when you say that arriva right. Sorry it's easter egg. Right i was having a free flowing conversation here organic. It's not things that i wanted to ask about the origin of reno nine hundred one's name human giant. Anybody wanna any callers. Want to guess. My favorite human giants sketch just for fun. All right do we have a caller. Let's go to the calls. Yes caller you're on the air. Tom yet is and by the way i should note. I'm authorized to do this. If you get a correct it is a free membership to see so okay. Great so lots on the line here. What's your name sir. or ma'am. My name's ken ken away. It's not nine one one. I heard that joke funny. Thank you so much what you want to call about. Cow tongue lennon favorite human favorite human giants coach. What's right what's your guy. Remember will be free free access to see so is running to see so for life. The life of not your life Is it the one where z's and paul are the magicians no no. I'm not fond of that one. Actually not at all got a second. Okay goodbye oh system. All business with ken man. I thought that was going to play out a lot more fun than that but ken was just disappointed. He really liked that magic one and obviously let's go to the calls. We're gonna keep guessing call again. Hello love live. See so lifetime supply of c. So name's kathy also talk to you are were you just listening to comedy. Bang bang in your car and you decide to call in in two hundred trivia kelsey. Did you know that said vicious died at the kelsey hotel honda fit. Go ahead kelsey. Go ahead go ahead kelsey. Aggie i guess worse is i is your favorite sketch. My favorite as which is the stefan. One oh is that the guy who knows all the nightclubs right. Tom isn't that space. That's weird because that actually my number two is kid who's possessed by the devil. A number one is stefan. Was my kim. Greg kelsey congratulate so hot sauce from teller. What she's won you win a subscription and access all premier access to see so for life c. So i if you see something say something at see something say something that means if you find a baby in the subway or you see an old person being stabbed to death see so just think see. So i'm you see one of those horrible events we'll be sending that out to you. Where do you live. I live in vermont or kelsey so great talking to you we love you. Got her to say it all right. Wow that was exciting. Rob what do you think about that stefan. I think she was confused. I don't want to hurt her feelings. I wanted to wait until she was off the air. That is cool. That people who listen to this in their radios. Do you like to hurt women's feelings when they're off the air. I'd let me think the way you worded that the no no. When did you stop beating your wife okay. And by the way. Tom did sidney stein. The kelsey hotel. Are you pronounce directly. I believe i think i am. I mean maybe there's a caller who could pretty high. Let's go to college there. Oh hey we have a couple calling us. Hey how are you guys. I got i gotta mute myself. Because i don't wanna hurt her feelings on the air. Okay okay hi guys. What are your names. it's me. I'll get off to kilson hang hang. This is roger. Hey roger roger are you there with kelsey. i mean. she's i see her. Its car with my own. Doesn't fender bender guys. Please please move your vehicles to the side of the road. You should not least calling us while you're driving is company. Is this guy cove. Oh no this is comedy bang bang. It's a comedy podcast and we're talking about are you a fan of stefan on snl. Oh yeah definitely yeah. I hear the police whose car sees by car guys. We gotta get these off the side of the should we go get him to side of the road officer officer. What are you guys. Do you guys on a podcast user. You assess the situation immediately to get these cars side of the road okay. This isn't reno nine one one or reno nine eleven cars the cars to the side of the road. Hey roger i want to say to both of you. I know you've had a bad day in this collision and everything. But i think scott and i are going to set you up with scott. Tell them what the what they're going to get roger and officer whatever your name is you both have one. What is your name. Tj bar. Does he teach bardo. Sqi officer bardo ski and roger. You've both one see so for allies so something say something. All the that were on qube. Are there now eh guys. Here's the deal it so for life but it's right now. Currently it's one password so all specials at the same time. Don't log into the same time. Obviously if you could just kind of figure it out a little you know what you guys schedule a shared schedule between the three big screen. I'm just saying i got a big screen. So oh maybe you can all join roger at his house. Where do you live roger burbank. Bur what are you doing in virginia hot sauce very got it well. I don't know whether whether kelsey you can make the trip out to burbank to help them out. But i leave the state. You've never left the state now now. That sounds a lot like tom lennon. Not not the guy. He replaced very nice. It all comes back home. Don't miss me. An actual human giant joe manganiello picture feeling. We're going to be reenacting. This conversation shoplifters of the world unite in takeover on demand or casual request this coming friday polite request. We need to take a break. If that's ok. Rob can you stick around or are you are. You can stick around. let me some. I should ask serve barduci. I gotta go episode we. We don't tell me okay. Sorry about that officer. Bartoszewski roger kelsey. Good luck when we come back. We'll have more from tom lennon. We'll have more from robb label. We'll also have a dental hygienist and my stalker. We'll be right back more comedy. Bang bang after this man. 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The stigma that used to come with therapy does not exist anymore and it shouldn't if you're having second thoughts about it yourself no one will judge you and you will feel better. I promise comedy bang bang is sponsored by better help and my listeners. Get ten percent off their first month of online therapy when they visit. Better dot com slash. Bang bang that is better. H e l p dot com slash bang bang joined the over one million people who have taken charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced better health professional comedy bang bang. We're back we have thomas lennon from shoplifters of the world out this friday upon polite request and this is a movie we talked about it a little bit but it's a movie about The day that the smiths broke up. And it's based on a true story. Isn't that right. It is based on a true story. So i'm told from the lore of the band the smiths Which is The day that they broke up a young man in Denver like held a dj hostage and made them play the smiths for four hours straight. Yeah just right and and you play another character. Based upon a real life person. A record store morning. I play a horny records. Have you seen the pictures call. I saw a little bit of the picture yes. Did you see the part of the picture that i'm in. Yes i'm assuming that you just in that one part hose. He didn't watch the end. Look very busy man. Had to record a podcast. Today can't just sit around watching movies in the morning. Okay well. I i highly recommend you get to the end of shoplifters of the world starring joe manganiello co star of what to expect. When you're expecting with rob hugh will of human giant is today as well always great to have the size on the show. I do play the bad guy. And i love you man. That's right well. I mean you're not a bad guy. You're a switching parts all right guys but we do need to get to our next guest. What do you say. She's a dental hygienist. Please welcome to the show for the first time. Lindsay mick mulligan. Scott thank you so much for having me on and this is so exciting. It's my pleasure wonderful to me you. This is tom. This is rob. Hi guy is a big fan of who led you hear me. No i meant you are a big fan of us. Oh yeah i sure. So with a big man. Are you wearing invis- line or something like that in your mouth retainer of some guys you how did you notice. Nobody ever noticed this. They say it's invisible. it's not visible. It's more clear this you call it. Clear line yeah. Yeah no that's true. We're talking about that lindsay. What what did you come on the show to talk about. Why okay so. I'm actually here. Because i just got back from the lake and i had fast time at the lake. Scott even tell you oh okay. I wonder you on to talk about it on the show today. Yeah i tell us what it. What did you do with the lake. Well basically we go to the lake every year with my family. I have a huge family. We talking about blake feared freak period lake gate. It's so is back is one of the great lakes lizzy. Did you say the superior or lake period period. It's one of the great lakes. It's near lake erie and lake michigan about one week a month. It's open. It's open year round. And so i always go up. My family had the house at their so me and my family go up to lake and it's just like it's like my time to shine. It's where i really like. Let down my hair especially you know just like we play games and we water ski boats ski and all that stuff and i and what is the difference between water boats skiing. I've always people just go skiing on the boat like skis. Stay on the boat out. Waterskiing year skiing behind the boat. Here's skiing you're in front of the boat. The boat hey lindsay. Can i just ask if you have. You thought about monetize. Our friend scott makes a lot of money. Doing a podcast. Have you thought about doing like a news from lake woke begun but it's about your experience at lake period and you just did like every week you come in and you do like hey. Here's a news from period homespun stories. Sorta like on yourself stories. Yes so that's really a good idea. I just like. I don't know that i have the confidence although when i get it the lake. I really do this. Boost of confidence young with playing the games and the hair down and just being around like my brothers and my brother came this time and ever since like such an invigoration like a hold on so hold on one second hot brother. My brother man brother divy day just for a visual reference since like joe manchin lot like how what are we talking like sexy door at eleven on helix like. Let's see and you guys know. Tom brady kisses. Everybody looks like his son becomes an adult. Oh okay yeah i guess. I'm not really like to imagine. Young people older usually what messing their sexiness. How does your a bunch of news. I missed by these references. I guess i've been in canada little too long missed. Some pretty sounds like some kind of big. He's twenty eight and so he his name is david but he's spent two weeks in spain and now he goes by avi day claro anyway. It doesn't matter but basically with my brother being there. There's something about his energy. That gets me all riled up. And i just went crazy at the league. This weekend i was out of my mind. I was like a different person i do. So we're just like sobers observed and this time like you know instead of wearing like my one piece swimsuit with like my board shorts and my water she is. I decided to wear something crazy. I were t- kini kini. Tanking cannot take this. One plays a takeover. It's a bikini with a little bit more structure to the top but just a little bit more structure. Okay it's actually. The top is the tank top so it's longer than a normal bikinis. Exactly what a little bit more. Yeah that's exactly what. I'm glad that you took the time. And thomas swimsuits salesman these days. I'm not not. I'm pretty sure what comes said. Was that there was more structure. And that's not just it's longer okay so to me lindsay playing tankinis to me okay. Well anyway so. I'm really this taint cini and i had a full half inch of midriff showing i was out of my mind going up to different people on the docks and hitting on guys. Oh did did you make any connections. Yeah i this is crazy. I we ended up that night at tarts sparring grill. Choice more did you say you say short charts chart chechen like charges charts. Yeah okay this is a chart themes bar. Yeah every charts. Like a combination of shitting and now i said charts charts so all these different graphs and stuff like pie charts. This is just you and day is me and other eight brothers and where at and something came over me. I don't know what happened. But i started going by. David changed the same day. As i'm gonna go my knees lindsay. I'm gonna go by lawns. Lawns l. o. n. d. s. like blondes. Without the be yeah okay because lawns because lonzo have more fun or why. I think just because it sounded cool. Oh okay yeah. It does sound kind of cool. I agree yeah we we never talked about this part at the top lindsay. How old are you. I'm thirty two okay. Good l. not to be a dental hygienist and day is in four years your junior. Yeah so much cooler than twenty eight okay and so so you decided to go by lonzo and then there must be more to the story or is that it then. It's okay if that's the way. I think i mean it is okay all. I actually my preferred if that were it. Looks like it's actually continuing guy. No no i want you to keep going. I'm just worried about where we're going. But go ahead slice. We're in an episode of of the news from lake period Yeah ethically ended up. Hooking was my friend for high schools. Dad oh okay that did did you know it was your friends from high schools dad or a sexy older gentleman. You found out later. Yeah no. I knew everything about him. It was just like something came over me. And i was like. Hey marvin let's do this. Arvin sounds like an old man. He was older. Yeah he is. He's seventy seven and not not all that people under seventy eight marvin. These days is a like almost like a thirty eight year. Difference between the two of you. Yeah exit actually and when you say hooking up what do you what do you mean you. You went back to his hotel room for so we go into the bathroom charts. You hooked up at charts attack this. Which which bathroom did you go into or was this also the employee so anyone could go in there. Okay yeah and the manager is pissed was knocking in being and all the stuff and marvin does not work there. He just accessed the employee bathroom. Yeah marvins dislike a confident guy. Actually i think even opened the door because something came over me. I said get in near marvin. And they pushed him in and we started hooking up and then he he got really sick and sweaty and ended up having to take him to the hospital. Mormon was born in the nineteen forties. So not the tail end of world war two. He seen it all but he ends up getting sick and you end up taking him to the hospital. Yeah it was wild. I don't know i came over me i. It sounds like you lost your inhibitions due to a combination of alcohol and harness and a change of location. And you know you're selling your wild oats and i think that's okay. I mean especially since it's not with your brother which is where i was worried. This is going. Oh oh so. Obviously day was with me obviously dominates. Listen i am like this guy's gonna die. We have to get out of here. And i was like okay. Let's go why the emergency room and this. It doesn't sound like you have cope ability. He just doesn't want to be there like not for legal purposes. Well he he was like you need to get out of here like you're going to be seeing conflict to this like murder and i was like hold on. Let me get its teeth. So i remove. What's yeah because. I don't want him to be identified. What about his fingerprints. think about. Burn those off sister lindsay. At some point. You had suggested this would make a good podcast news from lake period. I actually think this would be a show. And scott and i have some very good contacts at sea. So if you're interested we could get you in a room to tell stories like these. I mean this is talk about class by way. If you see something say something at murder. Podcasts are hotter than ever. Everyone likes to go to sleep listening to stories about errors. I love it. Have you committed other murders have been an accessory to them so yeah well home but maybe around the lake. Yeah always at the lake. There's something crazy happens at delake. I thought it was alcohol in a loss of ambitions but now it sounds like bloodlust things get crazy and dhabi day. You know he. He's the one who he really riles me up. And there's been a couple of other of incidences boy. You know people like the girl who used to babysit us a what happened she was. She fell off of Doc team she was yet. She was dock skiing in front of the dock. No that's dangerous friendly. Gosh and then you know and day was like e need to cover. This up was like shit. You're right because doc. So i was like okay and so i had to get in the water and had to remove all your teeth water. That sounds slippery. No pointed someone say look. We just saw something. We should say something. No one said that nobody said that. So don't say something sounds more like your mo modus operandi things that are really things are suspicious at like period. Yeah how many. I mean how many unsolved murders have happened up there at lake period. Twenty one twenty one. That was so specific so specific five twenty one now. It's less specific. Which one is it. Twenty eighty six quite. Then maybe if you're five to but but gosh i mean. Do you have a hand. All of these. Why are you confessing to this by the way. it's not that i'm confessing. It's just that. I sometimes when i get back in lake. I'm like what happened to me up there. What is the lake due to me this time. Cask lindsey our is davi day. Is he putting you under some sort of hypnotic spell every time you go up there that's funny that you say that because basically hugh is trying to be an actor in la for a while. Then he kind of wasn't booking a lot of stuff so he got really into energy work and he started being with specific like celebrities and he kind of take one under their wing and his wing and he would you know get their money and stuff like that and you think that he used energy work on you to to sort of put you into some sort of spell to make you commit these heinous acts and what i really think is happening. If i'm being honest. Because now that i'm back from italy i think diabetes killing them and then i'm the one that has soclean everything up on the one who has to get does teeth out of their heads. Do what do you do with all of these teeth. Yeah had them in. The bag had a minute. How big is the bag. Did it start office block. And then oh it's out level. Baggage people have a lot of teeth. How many do they had does human have. Usually you don't do anyway. You should know lindsey. Are you here to turn day in. I mean it sounds like you're giving up the ghost here and actually to tell you guys please. Please don't let me go back to. The lake. started off seeming. Like you loved it there and now you don't want to go back to way. Every time i go white turns me into somebody that i don't like it turns me into lawns so please please i beg you. If you hear me saying. I wanted to go up to the lake. Just tell me no if we see something wrong we see something. Say something definitely thing. Say something. I don't know that we're ever gonna meet again or talk to each other again but i hope you'll be back on the show but we we incriminated now. Are we in now involved in these waters. Yeah you now wait do you do you. I suddenly have to give you a stitcher premium podcast. Now we'll make. I will take many years. This may be the most surprising deal here today. I would like that. I would like ma'am podcast about this. Because anything to give back my power you are murderer. I'm not a murderer. But i am complex. I do remove the teeth except for one guy. One guy who's this. This guy named tart tar his last name t. Okay anyway. I was up there. He was on financing. He was skiing in front of a detsky and he was skiing. No they were dead ski random over and then another vote jet ski. I don't know why people think is the fastest water vehicle. Yeah and turns out that my brother divy day was involved. He was the one who is driving the boat in jetski and everything serving the boat and jet ski simultaneously yet through drone own as an evil genius. And so then he's like go go. You better go get tardy tease teeth. So i swim out into the middle of the lake down and trying to remove his teeth turns out he had this line so his was blue to own. It was a bad guys so anyway i his him his body down at the bottom of lake period teeth intact. Yeah the tattoos teeth intact. Tease teaser tact and and the whole pan. Menstruation knows about it. Wait this tell to menstruation. Upper peninsula. i know where that is. Actually all right. Well look we need to take a break Lindsay you can stick around. I hope i can stick around for sure. Now rob i. Can you stick around or do you have to go use to go. There's construction happening that my house building fifth floor. We're building a fifth floor and One of those glass elevators on the outside. Yes if you want to see is going up the elevator. Yeah yeah not going down. Though because we go down we have a slide. We have a slide to go down. We have a glass hotel in a fancy hotel in the nineteen eighty s. That's right. Wow nice well rob thank you so much for being with us appreciate you talk about you. You're going to stick around right. End for full disclosure ivakovic test coming up and not too low que. Well we're gonna be talking to my daughter here in a second so hang around for as much. That as i can which i bet is at least some of it all right. We'll be right back with more comedy. Bang bang after this. 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Maybe they have a good reason for doing it. We'll find out. Please welcome to the show for the first time. Carmella areola squad. Squat carmella jude. Did i seen true with my nice judy. What you're apparently you're a fan of no. No i mean. I think you already funding by jordan. Also betty sneak. You're stocking i m food stocker at gilson's geno stop before bed. Oh my producer. Must've gotten confused by the phone and wrote down stocking s. t. a. l. k. While i do see you sure well a lot of people see me. I wouldn't consider them to be not only that there's also a lot of homes gilson's of the one that i'm thinking of is then on across from jose's son referring to them as long as a traitor. Jose is cancelled. I believe my name is scott. Adeyola and i see you. Okay was two weeks ago tuesday. I m stalking the guy. she go. Lean syrian and somebody somebody we around the card and it brought up down all the syria. And i say oh my goodness here. He you know is going to help me and you pick up a books but look around laugh right and then you put it in your car and you go away. Okay and how. Why do you think it was me. It just like looking with flat ass. Do spend a of time in the sense. I okay guilty as charged. But and i think i've seen you around their remember me now. Well not necessarily. I don't make it a habit of memorizing the faces of every single person. That i come across even even though i am at that i am that kelsen. Maybe five six times a week. We are family carmelo. I think you've made a good point. Which is also you saw something. You said something you saw. You saw hot sauce juno site you see it and you say so what you do look i apologize. But here's here's my point of view and yes. It was me okay. But here's my point of view on this. When i met a store. I'm not getting paid by the store to be there so i usually get paid to work. You know what i mean. So so i if i knock over something and suddenly if i were to pick it up. I'm not getting paid for that. You're getting paid for that. I seem to june fair trade when you're working and you're getting money but if i were to suddenly work and not get money for that and look you couldn't afford my rate. I mean i can barely do like a six week. Stint on a sitcom. They can't even afford me these days so i help you all day time. Come to me and you say how much is these or did you say considering me up and this back but juno help me well. I mean the technical. Use your very purpose of being at the store is it. Not i mean you you receive a fair wage for that. Is that right by the way i heard you say that you're not making money and not getting paid when you go to the grocery store. I have started a new business with takashi sixty nine. It's it's a social. It's called social groceries and by the way we can show. You can start making money every time you're at the groceries. Well maybe call it. I'll all all the help random texting you need. I'm texting takashi. Right now that gosh. She could go with because she lean. That's the has the video and he could he could man the cash register to cash registers sixty nine that we business while goes. This is good and you can work together right at the very end. Thank you so mind. Yeltsin snow on my scott. I have created dick right now. You sound sarcastic security or something with my i. To be honest it sounds you. Track down onto my own podcast. Sounds like you're maybe better at security or do come to my job. I come to judge. I want to know du judiciary is not against sense. It's not like the corner trader. Jose's with the free coffee or cosco but anymore we don't say that anymore. This man this man go around and say i don't know i like the green grapes and try. He tried three. And then you say oh no. Maybe it's purple. And then he had hoped bucket full of grapes class guy. That's bad the food. Do who pocket full of grapes. Here and there you know one pocketful. You'll come in six times six hundred a week that six pockets. That a lot of grave. Why not look. I apologize i you know. My time is precious. That's why i feel like when i go to a movie. It's weird that i give them money to do that. This is my time. You should be paying me to see the movie. You know what i mean. Okay you to come to shop at my store yes. This is my time you should be paying me. Why am i paying you scott. I want to sit down. I want to get me into takashi. You nine in a room. You're going to start making this kind of money just with your social your social this is seeing. Let's revolutionized the way that we exchanged goods and services in this world. You know our mela. God give me some sneaky man you know just to bad. You're so funny. And so handsome. But i appreciate that. But that's the only thing that i've ever done there at the store right. I've taken six pockets full of grapes and a lot of things and joe local round. Like did i. Nobody see me hiding that. I'm not seeing you. I was stuck in this. The category lynn syria. You were hiding behind the cereal. That king geno loading on the bunks is right okay. I'm sorry if i believe a strong. Juno but i am very passionate about this because you yes but you're coming on a little strong a little accusatory but that's okay because i if i did you dirty. I want to apologize. I offer you an apology. Sincere sincere me much. Like michael strahan judged. Chris harrison his apology. Any of you guys get that reference. But it's a bachelor are so i missed it there but okay so here here. We go carmella gays. I sincerely apologized for making your job harder. And for not cleaning up my own mess. And i want to tell you that that's not the way that i want to That's not the way. I was raised. And i apologize if you took offense at just. I'm here to say that. Judy icm juicer. You cannot be sneaky. No more okay i understand. I'm not sneaky. I'll just do it. I can just do it in not sneak around. Is that what you're trying to say. Carmelo do gotta own up to it. Jess scott yes. Lindsay is a desperate housewives. Apology where you're like. I'm sorry that you were hurt. Like i'm sorry you're talking about the housewives of the desperate housewives also is totally different apology. I'm sorry they put your bones in that that treasure chest that i buried. I'm sorry about that. Too anton carmella question. I know that they've discontinued Some of the trader jose's stuff and some of those patently offensive trader joe's packaging but is there for collectors. Is there any point where to get that stuff just for like racist ebay that we can go to shop called race baiting ebay but yet i cannot jose's or the gallons they still reach me. That's the irony isn't it. Yeah i shop at the johns. That's what i go. Oh the john. John's we're those old vons stores that they just were like. Look we need to replace the sign but why pay for the whole sign. Let's just replace one letter. I is a funny letter. Crooked smile gain what. I like about what i like about. John's is like if you go to gilson's if i go to trader jose's it's always going to be that first class stuff and everything's vetted by the fda inside of quality. Yeah but one. Like occasionally i want some like. Hey i wanna meet. That's like you know what i mean. A little game ear right. I want something. I just don't know if it's a cabbage or lettuce. Just truly don't know john's john. I'm not mad at johns. Got be horse meat. They have every had horsemeat. You've had horsemeat lindsay yet. Dhabi dave rothem back from spain. And how did he did. He get it on the plane or take a boat back at paninis and he wrapped them in his backpack. I where's the paninis. Oh my god. Took the title of this episode speed paninis. I'm sorry was it horse paninis or was it horse. Penis paninis my my wife. I i totally different things. Yeah okay okay. I think he had a horse peanuts. One and i had regular horse to meet do no. I would try that. That sounds amazing. It's good carmelo. How many hours a week do you work over there. Not too many tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday. Monday sounds like you no no. I don't wear mondays. That's when they visit my husband. Oh where's your husband in the cemetery. Oh so you have a weekly visit with your your my husband. What did he do for a living. Kiewit worked in a factory. I don't ask too many questions but working in the thirty so you never found out exactly where he worked. And how long were you married off fifty years when did he. When did he heaven years. I'll go in a tragic tragic bus accident. He wasn't skiing in front of a bus was no okay no no happens. All the time period did was he driving the bus or did he know the bus is driving. As dez ono was feel like an accident anymore. Yeah no it was accident. We was an normal naxi. Then right you did not mean to hit him with the bus but he correct jess he lay down in front of it and i say do get hit seeming like it's premeditated a little bit older to remove his teeth. He had beautiful teeth jays. Look to a graveyard within probably twenty minutes if you need someone to get his teeth out of their living. The offense heels the the forest forest lawn on that one. It's confusing because it's in the yeah during my friend. Gary marshall's there by the way and my friend little gary. I think he's dead now. I'm pretty sure he died. Gary was got killed by the he. Was you know. I know i'm aware of luxury. But he was working with the cartels which was so dumb mistake. You don't wanna work with them. You want to work against the. He was They just they used him as a drug. Pinata was not cool. I remember like one time. I poked a little gary in the stomach and just a big burst. Cocaine came out of his mouth furiously. Like it didn't hurt that. He looked like opinion to begin with. But anyone should rational work in power. Power power to your to your husband as well as a lot of beautiful teeth out there in the cemetery and and the folks at the bottom of lake period wrist in period period may know in find their bodies or their teeth. A wonderful prayer. We know and find their buddies who their teeth. Well guys we. It looks like we're running out of time here. We only have time for one final feature and that is a little something called plugs more team. Oh wow how weird. I mentioned the song sex door earlier in the show and that is no modest to it if not a parody called plugs dwarf by the ben centra. Thank you so much to the ben center for that plugs theme. All right so tom. What are we plug in here. What are we got I got a picture coming out this week. with joe manganiello called shoplifters of the world. Isn't that dude from midsummer. In that as well doesn't he play one of the teenagers. Yup of sure. You've got a kid for midsummer you got. The kid from boyhood is like the main guy remember that kid from boyhood. Oh yeah oh. He's jay has a main look. What did you think of that. A midsummer movie. You think we should do that. Old people too little too much for me little too much for me and you know scott. I'm a pretty weird. I'm a pretty weird cat. Yeah i'm usually pretty good to party. Midsummer really threw me man. I kind of rips off the story. Line of star trek episode doesn't it with david steers. I can't say that for sure. But all i could think was. This is really making me feel really weird right now guys. Yeah yeah totally. What do you think of that david ogden steers the ever see him. Isn't he in beauty. And the beast gotta be right got it ought to be. That's around the time you started doing. The state on mtv when beauty and the beast came out the be nine thousand nine hundred and ninety two sri. Yeah yup yeah were you guys. Did you guys feel like you were in competition with them. The beauty and the beast crew hundred percent. I feel like every day we thought. How do we get on top of these assholes. How do we get the same eyeballs over here to get the. Because i just felt like i just felt like their boot was on my neck every day. Yeah you know. Yeah i do gotta bounce. Because i'm about to get a canadian cova test which is kind of exciting. Yeah well they're more polite about it so So you're not going to last through plugs here leaving right now but Shoplifters shoplifters of the world is out this friday people can politely requested it. Yeah see it in movie theaters as well. If there's one by you and you feel okay about going in there for sure. Sure all right. Tom always great to see you. I love you. i'll see you soon. Love you yeah. Give my best to the okay. We'll do give. I'm not your errand boy. i doubt. I'll be giving anything to my wife for you but we'll see you lindsay. What do you want to plug. And let's well. I'm just getting all these text from day about coming to the lake right now. So i'm kind of distracted. I think i don't go to the league. Remember what you said. I just you told us not to go to. I know you feel free. You feel less inhibited. Don't go to the lake okay. Carmella carmella yes. I don't know if you know this but lindsay doesn't want to go to the lake but she wants to go to the lake. Is there anything you can make is. No no no thank you at least around. Say okay. i'll say that something. I didn't take my mind off of all. The dead bodies at the bottom of league period has been this podcast on stitcher premium called going deep. Great they're the money is so good so anyway. Also i if you can. You should definitely follow this one. Count probably Your twitter right which would be l. I n. d. s. a. y. Now no it's actually. It's my twitter. It's different it's at l. l. y. Y i l y y y y so it's a totally sure you don't need me to repeat timeshare you guys all got that all god why why. Why now carmelo what. What do you want to hear anything coming up for you. Yes okay i like. There is a little man boy who were is on twitter and he goes by the back king and he is very funny king jazz. The with threes bogeyed. Megan thee stallion in a way but maybe they are related. I don't know but it is. Also he is part of a comedy duo name sly chom. He and his chump chum. Like what you throw into the lake. My pal like my buddy buddy okay. Mic and where where can people see slightly show do know they have the instagram twitter youtube. Talk geno okay. All of those and hell and also john's go to john's supermarket please been would want you know because i know people do are going to come by and take building things and all the products again. I apologize if you were offended. So another one. Does those desperate housewives all right. I just wanna plug comedy bang bang. Podcast keep listening all right. Let's close up the blood bag. Do do ashby about closing the plug bag not open you. Got talk was good. That was closed the plug bag by tiger beak kind of similar intone to our plugs door opening the theme guys. I wanna thank you. I wanna thank our guests. Who had to jump off. Of course tom. Lennon rob hubel and wonderful to have. They were my very first guests on the very first episode. Wonderful to have them on the show and lindsay. Great great to me you. Yes so great to meet you got. Please don't go to that lake. And i eighty got it plugged into my google maps. I've got menstrual. Close google app. Google gotta get up there. My i gotta get back into my what ten keaney and and still working mo remove somewhere teeth so only. Please try to discourage her. come on. I know the lakers duty for our. I look come into. I'm coming with you. Pick me up. You didn't so much fun. We can swing by my husband. We'll get him to. Yeah i gotta get those teeth trips. All right we'll see you. Next week thanks bye.

ken marino chas freeman scott kelsey joe manganiello rob rob hubel reno stefan tom lennon roger aaron gibson chaz fremont chaz fremantle kesri tuti Scott offerman reno kerry kerry george demons
Stacebob & The Dweebs - 'Savage Dragon'

Stacey's Pop Culture Parlour

38:42 min | 1 year ago

Stacebob & The Dweebs - 'Savage Dragon'

"Chicago ordinary couplings in the battle. The criminal mastermind called superbeets held our city and they're terrifying gribben then a miracle gland found him he had no memory asked. I helped him find an identity and now we have a fighting chance. Two more following lasted for three betwee. That's as far as my friend. She's going to uh-huh waves infringed. The dewey stikes bulb <unk> prior. I did a google translate any sage. They'd be on the new estee. Stop and la drives a lead us. 'cause it's a plurality anyway. Allow welcome. I'm st- ice from the toil and doing heaps aw this goi he's looking at but not like saying well saw them on and the sky is is cold richard bienvenue power bombs you still much rich morales acting lance you joke because it isn't but weldon society so this is the show where madrid's might be watch e. L d cartoons and we do too. I got names sir day on all day and then all that kind of old most of them are uh this i bust we may not know not one of them's been on edge within the text in all because i am a youthful split the take this 'cause we're at monthly show richard local news fulsome show twitter eleven bad for signs all i have is. I think like a resplendent blackbeard. I've looked pretty offs when it just makes me local the distinguished the great having yet on which because i'm getting lots of the i'm getting gray hairs but they're i'm very sort of course and the communist people running stop saying things on cat said don't can decide. This is the show i might watch the stuff and don't control next month but in the middle of beside i thought that you on shops up by missile mate don't control. I don't care which is wrong. Still komo finally duncan. Ah what did you might be doing. What trump is toys so we had to watch savage dragon mall. I watch garden savaging otherwise automated similar joke much man randy savage not all watched suvorov aww no. I thought you watch savage cabbage. Are we thought was a real thing like some so copied. <unk> savage savage hauppauge salvage called an anagram averaged god savage degrom the savage cabbage tip jerry but she was always rushdie you on her marriage no longer be weighed you in c- cool come. We feel we what trump does yeah. It was hall to watch. Thanks to quality coffee. We managed to fall. Sorry the copy because he's not a copy. It's freely available new. Jim don't break the law but he's fat exactly. There's a reason it's free. Aetna hasn't been diane because it keeps skipping. Every ten seconds can break a sex. It's not nice to not. It would have been a lot longer. Nobody wants to lay claim to know even every lawson it creates. They're off the savage cabbage. Joe ridge a really really cozied rolling slow twilight the light coverage the no selfish we just come on you because it's bold surreal fucking stupid kentucky the kennedy myers beach cabbage deo watch for the now designing. I need it could go spoilers. Maybe shower imagine. It's about a attack on green boat within on his editor. Luthan nothing lock who sounds like from goof troop. I don't even remember the damage ruins goof all think i was thinking the i don't know. I don't even want to export word. Hell doesn't look is just great. It does it all human head advice mainly those key yep michael aware going. Let me thank you very young you picture dragon you think tail and wings spurs the green canadian o'clock a mound looks looks. Luckily above kelly's who's a lift but has gives <unk> because he's got tiny legs of the triangle top and then we will be not transparent transparent hulk clone listen i because he's got these it thus through the old-fashioned staff green that's actually he's always very great in court even tempted to fat jewish well considering the fact that even these mites cooling the free like the whole time it will uh well ten be annoyed. If somebody said to me hi most freaks going to cross. Why didn't you up a lot down what the creation of that but can bake the from the books my only ever call him dragon. Yes yes and now actually goes. Savage dragon won't be served as the noise not from the brayshaw the commonwealth so we can't be assessed now but later on due style call it in alliston dragon. I was just trying to think you've already pedestrian his name. Oh bills dragon gregory dragon roy in dragon. I'm sorry to lean brian and greg choline drag coleens colin hanks and there's no soup for those names whoever compared with the sensible thing wrong with the most became you've call julius dragon. I'd be like areas drag yeah the bob dragon dragon <unk> toy elevate look county x. men and oftentimes get fantastic like being which not everybody in the towels constantly calls in the teenage mutant ninja turtles okay all you but he's not particularly savage. <unk> molinari did took lesser the main by going document to the roy and and so kind to appease the pipe get. It's a joint <unk> off the top of the richards building john time j j jonah jameson not really building. We've we've skipped ahead to be savage. Dragon was on garbage oil and a two goal lead gaba joining kathy every joint and is everything just going to be cavities run copy joel cabbage on with garbage. I'll be joining because he doesn't mum mum. The fuck is going on. He's trying to say the oil drums. I mean i'm trying to say that garbage doesn't rugby cabbie charging cobblestone cabbage orland and two goons deny adoption rewards three because the to go away one was the super kid-friendly in the head split open to reveal a joint yeah. He was horrible thing and eh that would that would dealing so many arms that could get away. We'd just love in a cry to the school. Man gary gonna offend faithful accidentally these episodes. She knew my hi to call like how the now the shaukat of the trough yet dr musgrove gary. I'd wanna cool nickname that i think think the shocker stacy's no hurry so much sunday texas kyra my name. He's all mytalk talk gravy debate on the scientology regular. If you wanted to realize it packages is he say. Everybody told me that my experience experience of he was very unusual that he's literally man anonymous. Just call him on enough tie balance well brooksville. Oh still imagery possible film. I'll get the law. Show the dead on the bell and watch your may one fell might eddie seen anymore. What's the hopefuls. That's good to merge bradshaw who don't conducive nine. They are all composed by the same soa level villainous with signal massive family the edge of the end of the end. It's following those yeah awful end of the trilogy bison paul for costa trinity's <unk> elevate man no oh i don't think he asked the third with every series always the best film termini godfather three star wow of episode three i mean what are the threes of the weapon for anyway there go joylin predators and the the big beefy wanted the weird sort of metallic looking it was a job and joel was gonna like set for to everybody and still fucking three four. We did garbage. That idiot don't care i was born in you. You even went after due dates. Don i mean it was incredibly savage songs. I always forget you respond when he stole it <hes> all of a sudden because this internal monologue voiced by daniel stanozolol the nose like god damn. That's that's real fred. Savage is always savage person. You don't see big enough to say well. Yeah toys incredibly fred ready steady freddie eighty four nosy fritz average to good cookeville so he does blow breath wolfram alpha jordan while they were at savage dragon. Just let swedes often gets into bogus cough nights. You start calling freak in going the the dead good friends for the one who quits offer controller willing to undertake will tell yet sense restoring. The small is rarely sensible. You don't want to get my bit. No fi the guy who's head. There's a mental primitive folk this way side and on the edited out to venus flytrap <unk> tastes protrude think about failing if you if you aw if you had is a giant mass it should open like terrance and phillip for the optimal wife boats in paypal. It should open this. What people i can't say what i'm trying to gesture upside e._s. Touch my shoulders are putting solid waste. Your society should be relied juice when china tena a call for a visual image whipping. You're picturing like say gena davis n._b._a. Will juicier giant let miss the enough illich if you if you are fat you have to then also till your entire body loyd this just to get someone uh-huh or tilt forward lloyd way you picture in my ram and boil. We're looking at the floor and you have to see you boy with joint. I mean the entirety of these mutations fortunate raise fan. I wondered to the crawling back surgery second mace do you ever it was ninety was for about ten miles and then he just conduct conduc desire all over mouth off to release this fucking yeah. I didn't like him. Smash cook to not really digestion johnson duda gods and heroes <unk> <unk> ruining laughing's in smashing a lever. The mercedes basically exactly the same minus the toothbrush moustache yet he looks a lot like <hes> marches nine rob they it went through john young across between john jameson. Robbie robinson is sewn in the yeah. James roy unmanned which carried to ease the in the running lamb. One of the one of the foible is he the the buck going with the with the guy not jim jim brown vs ex football player that much sway alwa- you're not smelling it means all the paint there is a lot of action stalls in the main styles expert move it was going to mention williams as well as these also the african american descendants ticket all i was trying to think of what the what the only one who wants to do volleyball on complexes hustle bustle listen to speech and then the other guy was like most own playing zero thousand one hundred one of the basal gone right now because he was <hes> think-i think me la visa z. Hawaiian japan is a japanese. He's jumping ac- accused geese japanese swear was listening to something is actually more or chicago. I can't english shy something to fireable that call. I actually called him. A behavioral like fireball now playing ball aw come on come on these on very good. I can of that movie does it good move harry's going to romney's tanning to stomach could could repay spine is a good one skits. I'm not doing it just because i call corbin bryant for wall but he's one of my favorite movies ever learn how good invested i'll tell early. Watson can be lifted that contract populism from facebook some remained stomach bright yo condoms which was made into a really good song austrian death machine which will be making no more albums because then lead singer in b._c.'s imprisoned for trying to hire a prostitute will steroids ahead. Sorry prostitute trona are hit months. Killers boy was buying steroids sexual now unless sounds a bit like of made all that oh i'm not that funny or not to improve wpro <unk> stephen other people's jokes over repurposing on when he strangles subzero. He was relocated in the neck with scott at one. I had forgotten how win embassies viable says jesus christ which is goes guests gave when he sees donna mode he goes. Hey christmas three. You just fill encounter character. Bustle has a chain so if it just because of anyway we're supposed to be talking to <unk> suffix dot com say the quote for where we can do you believe in doi's off head. I think i think he tampers with the rip fuel lines <unk> because how about the light amazing is one of the best films now now eighty s. He's not even talk on shut your mouth allah commando tall rico ooh okay preju- town no predator uh to oracle those off the solid rhythm on this phone as of you to eat like a two you can come on because it's not it's not good but it's not as good as john was the <hes> jobs so you'd like to go fucking challenges to eve why is he works like a giant fan from all. I've read apparently to give the actually designed for him. Which is why it looks so stupid and he loads orphanages siemian road warrior and he's in really good shape and he's not like come on know kmart that long enough the room or down unless on the floor over from australia to american giving a shitload polly's you just went ah din of pipe dream come the bible literally not deep primary cost are change the final why this bad guy called overload useless the king of the bodies over commando which have you changed the new one overload am than htay with his harry. Harry owns bill other fight. Welke was on iraq need it was tony got confused. Who will be the world's what's most interesting shelby the pattern before i will need like this mortgage explore. The even with the bodies were lost. Show that the rest of the lake very weird speak beefy truck. Don't inspect constantly <unk> from the siege auto <unk> boy. What's his name louis. Ah over the unreleased back. Yes does it not by louis c. k. because he visits part is flat because you've been jerking off. Everybody just row of white anyway mocking ropes of gypsum f- spiders webs film with much think instead of going rogue jazz and then he gets drove never want to see it'll ever alludes plan was agreed to sign was crawling he wanted to he wanted to send savage drunken an invitation to some way that wasn't where he was because he didn't want him to find very walls that any fame wary walls and then he got the invitation after through five on the doorbells overlord company because when he actually go upstairs he was old rover shoe company which is an anagram of yoed. We'd still status eh overload on the i think it was supposed to sail rover and he was supposed to be a hat. The savage who did nothing special walk into a building to building the end of the justify yet erected was covered with ink so he may be imprinted in crisis ladies up the only place where he is you know spillages notoriously bad handwriting enrolling focus border quotas li- genuine fucking have you ever seen those videos radio's or similar just had caffeine with both signed with mission <unk> accurate mortgage. I do believe everything everything on the internet too for its own underway coming on twitter account called wikipedia fat sightless pictures. I mean did you see on the <unk> that happen because then it definitely just started getting into heretic works. It's confusing. Isn't it well. It's not confused. He said i don't really know wrong. Looking for half time alleged comfortable that that i have i am i do frequent. I'm on the asshole. Just because i like alexa redesign people's stories you are and then she that happens a good one one of the few decent bits joan toms out some people diphu <unk> similar in china the farmers market and these blogs sent off leaves off is like a boring story. Go after reading a good news story with to canterbury <unk> see one of the few toss of that joel mchale show with joe michaela next week's was the dude dramatization of stings from akron with <hes> with christopher men's pass and yet. You're not mclovin and they did <unk>. Apparently she plays a young will consider the straightened season old going starts tolkien to him and then they have sold fight with canes and it turns out he was a sold for eh turned by giving majority wing just kind of disappeared and that happened not minds name album. I do not apple as well on apple t._v. Briefing say what what people get five signs or auditions on people find intention wrong for a laugh between the friend and then the pace great job on the twitter jokes meant polly hatchet. You know the fight misfire referencing watchmen obviously actually song about one of the day it was like literally just an actual joker but doctor. I am in the aso doc. No one on jury could it war was sorry. Are there protest yep bicycling on jake basically the same jokic says domingos in feels depressed dot says <unk> it was the vans warped tours in town but don't sorry i'm alone while he's funny this the night before tickets was he. The <music> at one point in savage dragon shaves arkansas your belly button when he was being the rock need like to me grab determine. What's the matter dragon yeah you want to. I don't no no wh- seasons are really only have two episodes zone it. Oh way up for comics like twenty five twenty seven years that he's rick practically all of them. It always been charged. There's a company hasn't heard what fat i pioneer the. Did you need the money from the ship shower. You've got to put things on the telly avenue because that's where the big books is. There was a cartoon. That was the latest thomas in the same block which unloaded name must be monitored. All the wing commander not gonna full cough <unk>. I'm glad that's what you're going to choose. Don't cat because i'm a guarantee i know of only my only real exposure to wing. Commander was watching about ten minutes of that shave freddie prints junior film and not the original games because i waited now that a game it was awful. Much video redefined. I five is up to them. Either filled with less famous no eaters the thickness mark. How yet is in the original wing guys yeah my cammo malt. How old star of <hes> you know things such as the star wars we'll see next islands the batman where he did the joke camel was pumped to spot to spot. No i think he was that vulgar. Mortuary was is name was like throws creep. You god he was live longer possible with you. The listeners in the reference that birthday boy stocks get <unk>. Remember whether whether <unk> fokin call a podcast and they're like all he saw that fire film the star was these we've focused ads star wars and then if you want your film tom lennon by luke skywalker schutte paper going fast is and tom lennon when he's not starring should <music> some comedies overwriting the museum movies yet but a lot of things you can do what you want slide starring the old couple with <unk> anyway salvage cabbage will also we got to say about this. He was blinded into the dragon agai. Gold ready willing to not mention authority was ray jordan. Not bad weather is such as a chase scene where the a female police officer dr savage dragon. That's the name because she was dead. Integral to the plot while she was whipped for most of it both mushoo is driving the colorado fast breath this bloat can create in out of nowhere and run someone over and they as that matthew broderick owning shares us us matthew broderick from very few as they offer. You just run somebody over. It looks like he's intoxicated. I'm sure he'll get away with it and followed closely behind him was snail mail eleven flights my brief speaking kenya we will uh-huh. I wanted to see what he would go to get a refill. It was kinda wanted it to be something obscure liability oxy blues but i i know i know god's l._s. Sucks so bad enough to american guns to the philippine prematch ties not yet goes even multiple times saying it now. I have always been shit. I just let the ed jamiroquai song from it all to all the otani song comb with me. Jimmy page is not said <unk>. Little republican steamy pint is on the hey in kashmir this the best use of cash on the x factor over and over. I don't watch the expects. Fat is the best usa guy mid but usa kashmir some kashmir kazakhstan goes on for about tick is it doesn't po in all of it is preferable with jimmy page. Remember exactly that kidnapped a fifteen year old girl wouldn't release it. Why why do we keep talking about these things because he got it. It doesn't have to be nice. Dead people appreciate hitler. It was pretty sheen. The big roar in goes zillow's not all of us at the n._f._l. Cotillard wraps h._v._a._c. Every tiny godzillas is basically basically now down. The donga excited for it. You've seen three guzzled. Godzilla using kingdom monsters shink yeah so he's still very bad gajah n._f._l. Also be the best you don't wanna say easily the worst budget of rs aw literally people matthew junk that make it better ziaur in it but that's not really stuck said no. He's not a new york okay accent but there's a lot of simpson's actors in it a surprising amount fucking month movies it where he plays a a special look hispanic accent but he just varia o you. Is that the one with ben stiller in jefferson holly non-citizen. Susan does it hispanic <unk> in the cage. Nazi ninety es watermelon kind of few dodgy energy well yes you don't go friday. I think let's go. I feel like he was doing rice stocks in shorts alone alone coups polycom <unk> swears e wines stephen his goals in his film site good seventy percent episodes along oh not because almost we just playing at the time because let's let's wear is all about that's not the one i was thinking of was very sweet. The i don't know what to tell you don't own. It may make this film now. Can any of us do a convincing offensively his office in do choi those good the liquidity formulas in the nearby foreign minister disobeyed savage <unk> cabbage because it really really dull gone uh-huh roy feisty into new projects are sent to sarah. Take a needed clip for some reason. I'd visions that if you had not seen from mcvay pulling the poll anyway look stop dealing with the phones and broadcasting all continue podcasting. Stay up by one more. Is it mcvay mike amazing. What are you supposed to love male. Mu hoy point of folks. I told full gear. You're just horrible. Sheeting outwards no steve yeah. She still pay allegiance and i want you. I started at baffling to me long circle. I didn't answer it says the single and she's on the bed. Let's not fully annoyance. Taping media is this isn't a cue. Thank you well. I feel like maybe there arose. That should have been off into other. People might be offensive roles in the other paper bit foreign foreign. That's true hong kong you. Would you recommend savage cabbie to anyone if i if you are the kind of person like save people by the boom show too i think i would only recommend it to people people who enjoy weapon of the faithful to shooting rob's shit maps on recommend it to people who watching <hes> cartoonist elongate it by keeps giving by every two seconds because that's not annoying offering utah <unk> puts the <unk> so let's go again. It's time for competition that you're gonna micro. Say this so full. Whoa it was a <music> old hey do you only it was a tweet lasts into tame. Oust icees caller g <unk>. These pop culture power facebook group double show. We have gotten a actually nobody nobody took us up on our last thing the phone just random <unk> goose yet and keiko shimmy cenex munch touched. Hopefully next month will be a private room now. Uh-huh now we have the dragon.

savage dragon randy savage twitter john jameson Chicago James roy facebook jim jim brown joel mchale harry china Jimmy dr musgrove gary google louis c. k. matthew broderick tom lennon superbeets cough rushdie
57 Channels (And Nothin' On)

Fame is a Bitch

27:17 min | 1 year ago

57 Channels (And Nothin' On)

"From workhouse connect in Aj Benza vein he likes to be walk on a leash and play really dirty kinky. Sex Tapes thinks he's the guy put the cock in the peacock network. Okay Bitch. Hey everybody. Aj Benza here for famous bits this show for September twenty twenty third nineteen my apologies for Friday. I I cannot believe this. Virus has whipped around this family all paused by this little nine year old hunk of love we call Eva but my brother-in-law Jack came down to Monja on you over the last week and then I got knocked down on my ass and because I've already had pneumonia and was like a day away from dying being hospitalized for thirty days and having my chest cut open to cure me when I hear that word. It's a little scary so there was best. I not not do the the the the the the Patriot. I apologized last night. I'm watching the emmys by by the way I feel better. I'm fine but definitely taken up. My allotment of sick. Days at a podcast should have so thank you for being patient especially my tippy top premium crops cropper's so I'm watching the Emmys last night and listen. I Love Television. It's it's it's what I do even if I'm not in it every year. I'm always a part of it. I want to see you do well but after watching the Emmys last night and I watched it again this morning at five. Am I went through it fast forwarding and I can can television get its own ass right. That's the question I have today or is it. As bad as it appeared. During during the emmys telecast meant to represent the finest that this medium has to offer and it felt straight on its face I think in many many ways so much shocking really the people who put together a shelter out of the people who make television great could fail so badly. They got a lot of things inge right. I'm happy to flee bed one. I only caught a few episodes but I can tell when I was watching it immediately. Holy Shit this fucking show is good and this is the show that began China's a one woman play cross the pond and then this woman phoebe Waller Bridge. She sold it to to a couple of producers on over over some beers in a pub and they liked it so much or jokes. They fucking option didn't here. We are five years later. That's the magic of television. That's the magic of of people who understand what television can do. You Got Billy Porter who won all right. We told you about him and the shell pose over a year ago. It's filled with transsexual sexual actors who I think are great and fun now. The acting is not tremendous of course not what I'm talking about. You know the level of acting that the most professionals aspire to but it's on it can't be it also touches on very real problems and discussions sounds like AIDS which unfortunately was extremely prevalent during the eighties when this show a late seventies and eighties when this show takes place and Billy Puerto was phenomenal. The fucking Shell begins with the category is and that's him he is really good motherfuckers one award away from being an we got winner. Emmy Grammy Oscar Tony Okay but if you sat behind him to the left last night you missed the fucking show completely because that had on and listen it wasn't a Tuxedo dress and it wasn't him being carried out like Cleopatra with six guys with no shirts on but it was vintage billy port but I want to say this but guys good. I give them all the problems that he's able to get but we've got to stop carrying. Washington walks out out who to me was a stunner during scandal days when scandals about to hit. Kerry Washington was hot as Allie better sorry to use two girls grows in comparison but I'm trying to say when she came out people looked at Carrie Washington and thought motherfucker hit all gamma she hot well. She needs to start eating again. I don't know if she's auditioning for a block Holocaust victim and a future movie because she looks like Hell you people's now than face loose weight. I had that after the Monja you feel like you're watching your face the sack of bones people who were near death feel that way. That's what Carrie Washington Who's beautiful looks like now? Come on whatever the fuck you doin' start eating again. Fuck these cheeto. Whatever you're on changing you don't look as hot as you use still still and you need to be beautiful but she has to announce before. Billy Porno won the first openly gay Blah shut the fuck up what what exactly exactly conduct. What exactly are we trying to describe? What exactly we trying to say is so magnificent that that a man who's as talented as billy porter and you know there are many examples of his talent? Why do we have to say the first openly black black gay male to win what he's saying. Here's a guy who sucked a lot of Dixon. He won the award really. Let's boil down that first introductory resentenced into what you're saying you suck Dick Buddy won. It reduces a man of incredible talents to nothing but a a hand job. What what are we doing. It gets me so fucking aggravated. I don't care if you're on your first fucking die in the mood. I don't care what you know. Oh you dick. It should not be in our lexicon. It shouldn't be an vocabulary when describing somebody unless they're the person who moms you raise you you otherwise it's not needed to stop saying fucking white gay men. There were back in the day who won awards awards Oscars grammys Emmy but no one talked about it. So why is it so important mentioned believe police the first openly black okay. He's open about it big fucking deal. You know there's plenty of black guys who want who you know to business charvet down on someone's lap. You don't talk about them enough. Anyhow anyhow look people have stopped giving a shit about these award shows at the ratings prove it and it's been proven you you need a host for these shows. You need a host. People Trust me as a guy who wants made a living as one and I think we'll make a living as one again again one day you gotta do this. It helps it steers the show without its captain list ship okay but this year's fucking no host no fun telecast it active. It looked like they didn't care about the show and the awards and then Tom Lennon was very funny guy. He's given the task of making jokes when people were approaching the podium for their award and leaving you something he said. We're very comical. I grant you because he's a funny guy but it. That's not what you want to do for the biggest night and you know what. I mean like it's rude. I I remember watching. These shows all my life it just you don't you don't need to take take away the dignity of somebody winning award by saying it's the nineteenth nomination which means if you stretch out all the EMMYS and to end it would equal the distance okay itself. Dom Come on guys it shameful really you know considering their people who really refreshingly deserve so many awards and they want and from an entertainment value standpoint they gave some great speeches some impactful speeches news and they shouldn't have been diluted or stepped on. You got like I mentioned phoebe. Waller Bridge swept for fleabag Vata's show that is so oh unlike anything that the emmys would normally even give a shit about they even still don't quite understand what it is 'cause. They talk about it as a show being a show about a sense added. It is so much more than that. It's like saying all families about a racist. You don't fucking get it. If you can't describe a magnificent shell like that in your own medium Liam. You gotta hardest someone else. It's so many great things that show but it's not just that thank God the people who voted for it now better you got Michelle Williams listen in. Shell that was filled with mistakes. Michelle Williams who at this point can people still believe that she was married to Heath Ledger. It doesn't seem possible or will they marry a just together and had a kid whatever they were together and you know. I remember talking to heat before he died right that he lived for that daughter but he could not get along with her and I'm listening to throw speak last night. I'm this great speech. She makes for a work on winning for Fosse Averton she she was magnificent playing when Verdon but you use this platform to to champion equal pay for women and you know she talked about women of color needing the same amount of money not fifty two cents on the dollar. Blah Blah Blah and we need teeth not made of wood and rubber we get the it it was break that she said things that we would never have an idea about like a woman being asked or being cast to play a role and saying I don't WanNa wear fucking teeth made of wood. Would I want to eat made a rubber so change for me please and they do. I don't want this. I don't want that and you have producers who meet those needs and what what raise what results is a phenomenal performance and she said no acceptance because we get to thank you at the end. If you just listen to women so I know I beat those people over the head a lot insane this Kinda shit pat themselves in the back so much they dislocate their shoulders but some of it does make sense and that was a great moment in Emmy history. I gotTA give him that. I'll even say Patricia Arquette who was phenomenal in everything she did this year from the act to escape a data more. She's phenomenal g brought up. She brought up her sister. Alexis aren't and she preached support for the Trans Community Nets. It's it's it's called for right. Now I get it's what's happening. Alex foreseen who is was Miss Swann. I tell you every teen you know somebody we the thought is inconsequential and somebody that just could play a stereotype on a show like mad TV winning winning an award for the Marvelous Mazel Azazel. I I've never seen the show. I heard it's great. I just can't look at it because I can't stand the font in which the show is written. I know it's stupid but I can't but she was is really moving. The story about how many generations of strong willed women she comes from a family and how they're all brave and the story ended with her telling women step step out of line ladies step out of line. That's great. I love it. You could think that I'm a fucking male chauvinist pig all you want and I think this but I love moments like that. I get weepy sleepy. My heart hurts when people make those statements but the show could have been so much better like I said reporter I I openly gay black guy to win. Best actor okay pose is a groundbreaking series for affects. He was great. They just didn't have to focus so much on him. Being the first openly gay black just ridiculous man. Just bring it down up in notch should make yourself more. What's the word when somebody's very you know that person is very What's what's the word you know. Just don't be over the top and showy and full of Shit be more genuine and make more sense God. Damn it make more sense sent. Her novel trouble had to win for outstanding righty. I'm a guy who sits home. Sit Home and writes every day it. If if Chernobyl didn't win I was GONNA jump through a window and I don't care what happened. I I is is written by a guy. Are you ready me for this who also wrote the movies the hangover. Do you think he's a good rider to go from that to writing about the end of the world possibly with a nuclear reactor exposure. I'm glad got got got his do. He needed to be spoken about more significantly efficiently than billy porter being forced open. The puck who cares about talent is no talent in stuck in a ditch so stop stop making it that Way Star I you know of course you know when they see us. We knew that was going to be all over the place sixteen nominations nations for a fucking Netflix special that lied time and again and giral Jerome One sixteen nominations the two wins thank God because that fucking piece was riddled with lies from the get-go and if you're a reporter and lived in New York at the time you know the different so so the kid one. I can't believe he'd be the person like her. Sheila Ali intrude detective without Mahershala Ali into detective there is no true detective without drills Rome. There's still when they see us but he chill del Toro escape down more sorry he needed more props stew. Sam Rockwell becoming Bob Fosse needed more props for God's sake even the competition program they they give you water fucking ru. Paul's drag race am I crazy how could that show be nominated for twenty nine fucking NBA NBA since its inception twenty nine you think there's a little favoritism going around a bunch of people like to wear dresses twenty nine. Lucille Ball twelve nominations rupaul twenty nine fuck fabulous. I mean he I mean he'll have fought. Excuse me I think the amazing race is better. It's been better for years and I'm GonNa tell you this year the last two years if you tell me more people watch rupaul drag race than American Erkin Ninja Warrior you're Fulla Shit because the fact that they can go from city to city and assembled that gigantic maze of competition and people show up and compete and have all these stories of such up lifting drama. That's better than a couple of guys in the back room putting up fucking material to make dress bell. Fuck Yourself. You're wrong. It shouldn't have won writing for limited series. God their right. Trent finally Craig as I told you the guy writes that and the hangover got gave the guy in award outstanding TV movie. Here's is where you get me. EMMYS and here's where TV could have done a better job in general if you knew that David Milch for dead wood wasn't GonNa win instead you. We're going to give it to that cluster. Fuck called band or snatch from net flicks Black Mirror. It's not even show it was an episode within a series that it that's not a television movie. It's an episode shout in which you pick the fuck it ending sorry. But how do you look past David Milch. This guy survived for decades cereal addictions recovery relapses lapses heart disease childhood sexual predation obsessive compulsive disorder bipolar -ality and yet. He kept his command of being a tremendous writer. Maybe you've heard of them my PD boot. Maybe you've heard of deadwood. Maybe you've heard hillstreet blues to name a few the things he wrote but yet what we get bander fucking snatch if you knew it was going to win at least reserve serves some time to give David Milch the proper sendoff he deserves deadwood the movie you know look despite being the only television movie nominated for more than two awards milch his farewell to his emmy winning series would shut out really the guy's. GonNa die. Scott all sorts of things wrong on dementia you name it. He's done that was his swansong. He wrote it with his son. Everybody knows everybody in. TV knows did for David Milk Cartons and what happens bander snatch get to get the fuck Outta here you can't do that to people put their heart and soul the television. You've got to take care of them. In last last night was the night to take care of David Milch while he's still alive to see it not when he's dead next year he won't be here. I'm not even on not comparing this on any level at all when I say that television gets it wrong and they even got it wrong for a schmuck like me were a network short life. E could enjoy the success of mysteries and scandals and have one hundred fifty two fucking episodes and yet after the last episode. Would we get nothing. I always tell the story my little girlfriend Bessie Jones who was production assistant who worked on a three engined ninety five dollars a week salary. She went and got the fucking Kate and she went and made sure bars. Stay Open for us so we can have some fun at the network didn't do that. Why is it just filled with so many stupid. fucking people don't care here about television. Stood said just so much evidence that TV really is greater than it's ever been and with people who WanNa make it more important than ever of its power and its potential to make really positive positive changes in the world really noble. Shit and then there's Sunday night at the EMMYS and you know there was a moment where they showed Sarah Silverman sleeping sleeping in a chair yeah. I know she was kidding but what she kidding what she getting. You know like everything else about this. Show the decision to not not have a host was lazy fucking decision. It was dumb. The only attempts at comedy they had with delivered throughout the show were based on the fact that there's no host so why don't you just get a host and not have these people try to make jokes about not having a house. It was so stupid nothing landed. Ben Stiller's bizarre tour of Madame Toussaud's Wax Museum where he ends up with Bob Newhart who's still alive and has to talk to remind enemies not dead. That's insulting to man. I give her credit for doing it but it's insulting. Anthony Anderson I told you about this motherfucker motherfucker year ago his MAG opening where we stealing emmys with his mom because the supposing host Bart Simpson came out and a piano crashed on them which meant the a host that the show had no host so Anthony Manson Russia's from the audience with a suit that was three sizes too small but you know you gotta wear everything skinny and no socks. Would you fucking suit. He looked ridiculous and he comes out. He's going to save the show and he goes backstage. These handling his mother Emmys the put your bag to leave because he's black and he's looting get got it. He okays that joke. I don't even like him being in the forefront of that jump because I know this motherfucker. I know that he sent my in store for Dick Pic ten minutes. It's after meeting or fucking airport so I can't like him. I never will I think what he does on black. Ish is the easiest thing in the world. Stop making this guy to be fantastic. Hey Aj job the next ten years. You're GONNA be angry. Italian believe me. You don't have to thank me or applaud. It's easy Anthony Hanson Hansen the only thing funny I swear my real often I barron halts coming out with the lazic surgery bit that was hysterical Michael Sterile but just if you'd have host you wouldn't have to work this hard and somebody would have been able to steer view through these things and judging from twitter like I said Thomas Lennon's bids his color commentary with winners walking off the stage. It didn't work he even said at on point. This is why people don't do this because it sucks you needed someone to bring some of the identity cohesion and the tone to make you feel like you being steered toward actual destination. which is the end of show? Someone's in control. Go on a cruise nick g without a Cappuccino you feel now. We'll win well. We'll get you to the Bahamas don't worry about it doesn't work that way. They tried tried. All these big grand things to game of thrones. The cast of veep came out for their final bows okay but why you just picking those shows there are other shows are not going to be on again ever hear the Big Bang Theory not one of my favorites but it's made billions of dollars for people very peculiar. They don't mention that show they didn't mention orange is the new black that's not again. I think that actually change television in the lot more ways than we can think of with respect to color sexuality sanctuary gender. I mean give me a break. How do you not notice that I'm a guy who talks against that stuff and I noticed it. Who Decides these things? I was host of the show. I would have said all along little bit. We're not saying goodbye We're not saying by president storefront Alfred over the what are we doing a hold on time. Someone's gotTa be there and that's what the host would have done. They've never been more. TV shows in the world is is is about five hundred and something and it's going up every year and is that many good TV shows and as much good adding provocative stuff creative writing storytelling phenomenal shows like Mr Mercedes won't even mentioned and that was a great series. They're putting more and more money into making TV better but where was it last night. Great guys ran a tight ship. You maitland time for the fucking eleven seven o'clock news which says the same shit every night there was more shooting Chicago. Tomorrow's GonNa be seventy two and a little cloudy big fucking deal and trump did it does and trump did data shame shame. Why are we rushing to that. What's the cost of that for. Whatever time there was saved okay bye bye putting and not having a host is sort of felt like the show fucking dragged on didn't and how many times have beginning to see a commercial official for the mast singer. Hey Fox league it. You GotTa show that people think is okay. I come on fucking self prostitution. I get it. Msn Game of thrones it won best drama great thank you there's your sendoff. Piglets is one again great. Another midget will never win again so Dinka got four think so. He's good the midget categories fine forever. We don't have to placate anymore anymore. Okay and he's great. He's great. Don't get me wrong but by the time the creators of that show we're thanking everybody at the end of the show it it seem like the people that are checked out like no one cares anymore. Knowing the people in the audience gave the creators of that show the same attention Amanda Repeat gave me and this is not a lie on her first date with the guy that created game of thrones. She was an argo and I didn't know she was on a date she he went to go to the bathroom and I couldn't believe how beautiful she looked and I have hardly asked her out and she told me on a first date. I I really can't be talking this swipe and she politely excuse yourself. I think she did better by Marian. That might have had a fun night with me but I think Amanda Peet me the rebel but for fucks sake man there is shows the Emmys a lot better. You know if you've noticed the news lately they're checks being ripped was many many Zeros from streaming services to get the rights to the office friends Seinfeld. You Watch the the the the last night it didn't seem like TV right now mattered that much to the emmys otherwise I would have given no shows their proper applause but this is why I do watch the for the ups and downs. I give a shit because I can't believe Paul and got twenty nine fucking nominations and Lucille ball twelve. Oh okay that's why I watch but they gotta do better got to do better going forward so that was my night last night. Maybe maybe it wasn't urine I last night I know football's on under those some fantastic moments in the NFL but for me sitting back every year watching the EMMYS and having the right to complain complain about an industry I work in and want to work again. Southall sleep good after being sick knocked on my ass for several days so thanks for being patient. That's my take on what the fuck transpired last night I'm. Aj Benza check out my paycheck. I've got a great story about Billie holiday and how they really when I say they the Bureau of narcotics my father's x while the industry he worked in how they really went after her and talk in her story in her had a great story about unpatriotic. If you don't want to do it you missed out otherwise. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow. I'm Aj Benza and that was famous bid for RECIP- Timber Twenty Third Twenty nineteen take care. Thank you for listening famous a bitch which is an AJ Benza workhouse connect production featuring the endless wisdom insightful commentary and sometimes fucked up perspective of Aj Benza executive producer Sir Mike Agatha no technical producer Ryan Vasquez.

Emmys Aj Benza David Milch Billy Porter Aj Benza Monja Lucille Ball peacock network China Kerry Washington Paul reporter Michelle Williams inge Tom Lennon phoebe Waller Bridge Patricia Arquette Oscar Tony Okay Billy Puerto Billy Porno
ABOUT LAST NIGHT #535: RYAN EGGOLD

About Last Night

1:32:20 hr | 1 year ago

ABOUT LAST NIGHT #535: RYAN EGGOLD

"Hey in your oldest into the about last night. Podcast bitch comedy knew he would. Your should the Dow last night on Fine Moi array data a bit berry is yes a dude. You are just rocking just caveman city table for one. Yeah but I have this tank top to balance it out. You do tank tops balance out everything and I. Yeah I was at my high school yearbook quote. I've said it for a long time but I can only be friends with people who share that sentiment by the way you I was watching some interview on u On the today show was embarrassing for me. Yeah Dude thank you for bringing it up. I don't want to be the guy to say that you make Hoda uncomfortable physically. Do they fuck lawsuit long time ago? Yeah it's it's lawsuits like she'd go down right before the pandemic because didn't really get. There's there's bigger headlines you'll be fine no but you you were was access Hollywood. You just make renounce babies you and lower and you're wearing a shirt with a think tank or something underneath. I've worn a similar outfit. Definitely showing the definition that you're rocking Mara. Oh you're so cal guy but then you're in New York but you're just like a so cow guy and but now you're now you're rocking this tank. How many tanks and this is not my question. This is from the fans baby. How many teams there's Ryan Ecuador? That's not that's not a legitimate question. It's a fan question. Is it really no? It's from me did. It's good. Ron Personal is from putting Cox. Let's get real. Yeah there's just no reason to wear legitimate clothing during guaranteeing. There's really not do the. This is dressed up as I've gotten weeks it It's all about comfy and and cash right. Yeah I've been doing soft shorts. This is GonNa get real sexual real quick soft shorts no underwear and like an old tank top. No SHOES NO SOCKS. Pretty consistently says ready for church in the sixties. Yeah what what are you? Are you showering and stuff? Are you like how much of the routine are you trying to actively instill so like a person? Yeah I sure that's a good question. I go through phases. You know. It's like I mean definitely bathing. I've danced that up. I definitely missed a shower Italian too but which is good. But I'll go through like a few days of just shorts and nothing else and just doing nothing and then I'll be like okay. Let's go. Let's pretend it's real life and I'll put on up close like jeans. Perhaps and and and sit down on a computer and sort of click keys is if there's some semblance to what I'm typing and hope that I'm doing something productive and the now gone for a few days and then I'll get tired. That nocco back to the shorts are you Are you zoom in a lot? Are You you do? I saw you working out with your girl or was it with my dad was my pops. Yeah well there's one what's up. Yeah so one with the GAL yeah. Liz posted one of Her and her roommate and I do a little a little workout in fast fast motion which was quite a good time to my dad's got this Ordered this little. You know man caves workout stuff in the garage. So we've been. We've been doing that. Pretty consistently every since reducing. My Dad's a Lotta grunge. Lot of Nirvana record-smashing. No Way Yeah Dude that is. That's next on my bucket list for my dad. I'm not lie. He asked about to turn seventy six on Friday. And I'm like dude. I making the bucket list for you and yeah yeah and it's like getting him to know about who presents. The United States of America are not the presents the presence who row peaches and You know maybe some maybe get him to learn the lyrics to Golden fingers in my bedroom. Yeah and you get your Dad to learn the lyrics to lose yourself by EMINEM. Oh man you mean learn again. What do you think seventy five was zoom nats in the world? What is your what is your dad likes to listen to is. That's a personal question. Do this interviews about you. Let's get back to know the real. He's gotta I think it might collect. It taste. Definitely comes from him because he'll right you know Up here right now and we'll just we'll go to youtube and pull up. Karaoke songs of Like eighties love songs. Like he's the one that got me into billy. Ocean Caribbean Queen. Get OUTTA my dreams. Get into my car very very aggressive. Yes suggestive organized outright. But that was the eighties. Dude you could sing about gals you hadn't met and how they needed to get out of your dreams and physically get into your ride and guess what do nothing was really said of past that. It was just all implied but like the eighties is all about implications. I feel like it's true. I was just having a conversation with a friend. About how hip hop is the last bastion of just atom. This is a positive hold on the last place. Where just rampant misogyny? Just go yes bitches that an. It's like an everyone. You know the me too. Movement has been pretty prolific And mostly a great thing. But I'm like wait. What about hip? Hop like literature or or other musics or or presidents grabbing pussies. That's all good but like hip hop saying I know it's I'm surprised at somebody probably has put the grab push into a song haven't they? I would assume so. Yeah I think I think it was originally a little wayne. Lyric at trump was just quoting hilarious by the way. What if it wasn't put it like it was put into a Song? But not who by? We thought we're like yeah just like had to be in his comeback album and it's like no it's actually fuck if I had said the name quicker. The joke would hit harder. Would've hit harder Taylor swift. What are you going? I was going to say Taylor Hicks. Oh the soul patrol. That's better not yours was stronger. That's a funnier answer. Taylor swift is the real answer is yes exactly or Blake Shelton her Willie. Nelson would also be calm on ramp. A It'd be a cool. See well you just see. That actually sounds good when using it. I don't know you have to set a pipe sued. I knew in college when we were at sea. And that that you could sing and I know you always had a guitar walk around class. That doucet Walk to class with a guitar. But you WANNA your place. Yeah didn't you your place? I think junior year. My senior year was near the staple center right. Yes I live downtown. Yes I remember going to a party there. That was And I it's so funny things remember from our house as you had a party and like certain I guess just hangs that are not that are like Kinda of off campus especially I think I remember more so right factor that was so close to staples and you walk to it on Figueroa had That was so cool to me a because it was like I felt like I was leaving campus without going right. Hollywood like traditionally right But I also remember. That was like a cool part because a weren't a ton of people so you and I really I like I really got to look. We'd had three years together whatever but But I think that's when I saw the guitar I was racking my brain with this last night and I was like. I think that's what I still get to play and I don't know if you busted it out Fuckin- Jason Mraz style at the Party. You definitely saying something and I was like. Oh Shit yeah makes sense. It's fucking you know soon to be Heartthrob. Of course he's got set pipes to go through it and then. I see today show you play a song? Yeah called like love is the like time and love heal wounds. Some fucking it was. I don't know that's not know. What was it? It was routed. It's called. Here's looking at you from a low. India. Did play musician to right and songs. Dude you were so like again not surprisingly good but just unexpectedly saying no thanks man. Oh Yeah I'm really what you're saying. Is I have low low expectation of you. Yeah and and the fact that you ended up having any talent always surprising deeply so funny dude. No it was all about that indie. That's awesome it. You know yes. I am one of the things I WANNA do. This quarantine is maybe take some time to do the music. It's one of those hobbies. It's always on the back of my hand to sit down and make good shit record man and I never do it. Of course I would like to start not to start soon career but just to just. I just got a bunch of songs refunded recording. Put HIM OUT THERE. But Yeah. That movie was cool. It's I think it's on Netflix. Now it's called lucky them Megan Griffiths Directed Toni. Collette the great. Toni Collette isn't it? Shove fuck of Thomas. Haden Church was probably the funniest man I've ever met and it's good. It's good I'll you know it's it's it's IT'S A. It's a good movie if you've got nothing to watch on a on a Tuesday evening. I'm not GonNa stay on a Saturday night but on a Tuesday night by the way picking the night for the movie. Yeah guarantee you make people because there's so much pressure with the weekend flick right. Yes Network Superhero. Or you know you know like either like iron man to or Schindler's List something. That's got a lot of production value and that is you can get invested in. Yes but a Tuesday night flick. I dig that. So who do you play in this? It's I've played this Kinda street musician. Who who takes shines to Tony's character? Who's a few years older? And they sort of a thing and it's kind of a you know It's her it's her to her old antics of dating people that are not really right for her age wise or otherwise and being sort of motion unavailable and she's got to figure it out. It's it's a really fun. Love story between her and Thomas Church and that guy is so funny man. He's just funny in his ordinary. Just just like getting the bite from couches. Anything just the way he talks is funny his mind the way his mind works. He's he's hilarious. I was GONNA say how much of it is his voice to when he's just talk out ordinary stuff that you're like I listen to you talk about what's in that sandwich and you're GonNa just all day. Yeah he's got to create walk in VAT not vibe but just simply the way that I think he breaks up. Words right of Just yes delivery is just. You're sure yeah you're right. And he's so particular his cadence specific to him and his tone and and just kind of that dry droll delivery were like nothing is ever that important you know and so the punchline comes out the same as the setup is just like just phony dude I'm definitely GonNa Watch that man because I I'm I'm I'm starved for stuff. I'm also not been more of a another so many shows and by the way. My Dad is a huge new Amsterdam fan. So that's also more fired up. We started watching it together. Actually because he's a big medical drama guy he's got his you know the Chicago. Md's PD right buck in right. Std's he's got all goes and lesser known as CD. That was a very well. Do that or Glendale Guy. You know what I'm saying like I go off the not. A ton happens once in a while. It was like slight minor shoplifting. Lug Sail that like takes up most of the season and then a couple COSCO robberies occasionally. Some kids skateboard by too loudly jerks a next week off my lawn. Oh you're my kid next week. Sorry yes still get off. Darren Call Your Kids Son College. You're thirty I think we just wrote season two. We just growing. Yeah speaking of that. Y that reminded me of Reno now one one a great show unreal came back. Didn't come back dude. So Tom Lennon you know somehow became a homey. I did this movie. Yeah that Just came out on Amazon last Friday. I call first leading role. It's called the Bellman it's about Scott. That'll wet hot American summer. Needs Anchorman vibe. About these hotel bellman on the like the head Bellman. That doesn't fucking promote to get promoted loses. The girl lies about a promotion to get her back. Tom Lennon plays the spiritual guru. Who comes to try to have this weekend? Conference is a full character and identifiable eastern European accent. Who's trying to basically con everyone and steal the money from at the hotel staying there. It's real silly. Do definitely or have a cocktail. It's a Wednesday night movie roque. Okay all right so we have our Tuesday on our Wednesday worked out where locked in. But he is a god and so he is funny and just yeah and so Just keeping in touch but also Reno. I mean that was my Shittu. They came back on Qube two weeks ago. No Way I had no idea I had great. Show Man Yeah they were was that one of the things because I know as as much of like straight acting as you're doing you're always been so funny dude which I think is obviously I think is why I mean look. We got real fortunate with like the the classes that we had it. Sc As far as how many cool talented like just easy going fun. Funny People there were and when I see you in interviews I go man. I hope he and you bring it out in all your roles. You know what I'm saying but it's like the don't you agree like aren't you like one like wanting something that's like a like almost comedy just from top to bottom where you can really show that you got that I loved? I would love to exit. Comedy top to bottom is something. I've never done I've done. Yep with comedy with humor but right never the full. I would be a great challenge for me. I would love to. I would love to do that. Man Yeah that would be you know what we we should do. A mockumentary show. We should do. We'll one format bring it back. You know actually okay. Holland limited bring at all topics of discussion together cosmic moment of just coagulation the right word but you know that hours. That would be a funny show. I'm just GONNA PITCH ANY NETWORK. Who's listening. Maybe Netflix's listening? Maybe they call us right after this. We only have hallmark and packs. Listen cast understood understood. Well I think this could work very well as a CO production between the two okay Always thought that wouldn't feeder school. Be A hilarious mockumentary show because they were going to school. There'd BE BUSINESS MAJORS IN PRE MED and people studying serious things engineering and and they'd be walking by on the way to some test and stressed out working and we'd be like walking through campus like singing or reciting a poem or being like what color mine today like. I'm yellow you know and I was like what a funny show. And then some people you know the degree of taking it seriously like a Guffman type show it. We asked it would be great. It would be grab a thousand percent in Dude I think. The mockumentary world has only really been truly explored through the Christopher guest is and squad. Yeah it's there is I mean. Do you know what I what I need to do in. This quarantine is finished this monumental that I wrote about two years ago about inventors basically you take spellbound makes shark tank and may ask him where it's you following six different inventors from around the world. They're eating up at this inventors convention in this is Great. I guess I'm sold. I'm in. Yeah Oh you're obviously and we need you to help can sell the movie but it do. I have a part outline for back Henry winklers kind of be. Oh He's a guy who manage show business. Have you gotTa know not well? But I've just had brief encounters them here. He's always so so kind. Supportive in front lanes just like what a great nude. Yeah he's he's got so many stories and so much experience that you're like you. It's almost like you should be a dick with how much stuff you've done. And how time is money for you. And just like you're but he's so. Yeah Man I'm maybe I mean look I think some people just go through and are constantly you know having good experiences to where they don't maybe he's never been put in a position where he needs to flip out. Maybe we haven't seen funds flip out yet. Maybe he's way ninety secretly. Yes secretly maniac like dungeon. The whole thing just got knows. Have you worked with anyone In your in your journey so far that That you've just been like what the fuck like this one little whining doing playboy of the Western world in two thousand and five with Adam. Redback Bennett little. Did I know that that that I was going to go from that to you? Know what I'll tell I'll tell reverse story which was I was fortunate enough to do play with Alec Baldwin what the Great Alec Baldwin yet was out in Easthampton. It was all my sons by Arthur Miller. Which is great classic. American claims you know and so many scenes from that in Nudity Oh yeah it's Joe Miller so frigging great so you know. I'm going to do that with Baldwin. Who you there. He's had his fair share of trouble with the the media. Is that headline at all? These different things are Kinda gets a some degree of notoriety is being but the opposite man like against so quick so funny Super Supportive just Super Fun Doing his impressions all the time. Chino and all these people end and just constantly giving you shit in in the best way. Just just Such a great guy. I just remember thinking like going into that experience. Being like the hurts things is going to be tough and he was just such a such a sweet guy. That's amazing yeah it probably just adds to and get you more excited to be in this business when you meet people like that and you go and thank God. They've done what they've done and they still have this level of you know Ease an and I don't know I'm sure he went out of his way to like make you feel comfy right. Oh yeah the backup went on a little too long. Practically someone say not long enough and those and that some Stephen Baldwin Guy. Yeah no no no but he did and everyone all these act. I mean it was him and Laurie. Metcalf for two giants. Losing their own right. Yeah and then. And then not a slut like me and some other cats and And Yeah just Super Supportive Super Super Fund very bringing everyone together and Yeah it was a good experience Before I want to ask about you like theater days and and just like you know acting chops developing in Lakewood California so we met at USC. You're I think a freshman when I was a soft. You guys were a year below me right. Yeah so yeah you and back in Did you s see the Acquis. Still Year below me. That was below that. Oh yeah you were Aaron Fisher yes Andrea Jeffrey. Lind right. Yes yes. That's right Se at the top of. Was that where you wanted to go for acting school. Did you know that you know and again? We'll go back but like in highschool you done enough theater and acting I think I heard you say a one point. You wanted to do start really young as a kid. What your folks wouldn't let you. Yeah yes folks were Wanted me get again education quote unquote whatever the hell that means that books in? Yeah no I I. I started to kind of dip my toe into from. I don't come from a family of entertainers the action. My uncle was actually a stuntman for a little while but other than that. There's that you would family. Whoever did this stuff So it was totally forward to my parents into me started. A few additions started Boca. Few things so things here and there is a I forget what age and they were. Your son can be in this booby. He's GonNa have to miss three months of school or whatever and they were like hell. No so they squashed all my hopes and dreams. What movie was that? Oh God I don't know some some show movie I think it was called Ichi. No looking say did what if it turned out to be disliked? The game remember the Jurassic Something Drastic Par Essex something park in the woods. Dinosaurs Dinosaur Ville and the SAM untitled Sam Neill Project Steven even spell burger spill or something at some Jewish guy that knows Laura dern no no it was something substantial but it was. It wasn't he knows wasn't gasoline but it was enough that it would have been like. Oh Wow you know you could probably start working at wherever that would have led them. No parents said no which was fairly devastating the moment but you know. I do think it is good to get an education. I have to say if I had it to do over again. I'd probably get a degree in literature or something more academic. Because I don't know the acting part you just gotTa go out and do and and fail and get better and just be willing to suck into your lesson to suck less in house. That's going to ask you like how much of the BFA is for those who don't know we both in the BFA Acting Conservatory Program. Whatever you WANNA call it to feel like an asshole but you have to audition for it and they take in what I think. Fifteen to twenty kids from thousands that apply. I didn't realize how cool of a deal it was until I think maybe halfway through the year when when you know in some conversations where he was like. Yeah like buddy is always asking me. How is the program? Because it's so bumpy and get and I was like a lot of people I guess I just didn't put it together. You know that it was but obviously in La Essy's a prestigious university like why like that and Ucla or the schools. That are right there in Hollywood. So right an extra allure of like. Oh man like the people I'm GonNa meet the connections the the ties to the family but Did you I mean you know from movement voice to you know what we have stage? Combat Yoga The for fucking. There was everything that I didn't think I needed. And then start to get it into your your bloodstream. And you're like Oh yeah like to this day. I do definitely breathe. Better because of Brent Blair says or stand up taller for sure I mean I you know what I wanted to leave school after two years and I did I did. You New York and go and bad idea okay and eggs and now and we should have. I don't know for me. It was my folks are more okay. A little more traditional little conservative. And we're like basically my mom's is if I quote unquote dropped out of school. I would the next day the in an alley just blowing various men for drugs just instantly. Not even drugs just hugs. Just how just just for the fun of it and then we'll give you the hug dude to earn it. I didn't know let me do it. I have to be good at something all. Yes so you know they thought it was either Ben Affleck Sh- millionaire or destitute and dying on the street and didn't realize there is some sort of in between Not to our why would they end Nor did I matter but yet two years is a great great length because it was like affiliate chance to sort of read a lot of plays in and sort of fail without consequence and have teachers say Yay or nay or friend fears. You know sale that I didn't like that and just play around with exposed to different ideas indifference playwrights and and Different people. You know different kids that you're meeting and then and then yeah you're three or four is just like all right the next step is you just just go just doing anything. It's it's It's the practice and all that so and there's so much that about the film industry and what not that. I don't know that no school really teaches you. It's like schools focused on teaching you quote unquote the craft. Whatever that may be Still trying to figure it out and and yeah. So it's I don't know there's a lot of real world stuff I mean I imagine it's true of any pursue whether it's being a doctor or you know whatever whatever it may be certainly business or anything like that but Did you enjoy the ESI experiences college overall mostly. Yeah send your wanted to. I was like an Oh sovereign fun as we think people's reading plays trying different stuff and just a great experience sort of. It's kind of like that crutch between high school in the real world ghetto or you get to hang out with kids and sort of experience. Some degree of autonomy and independence. But you're not fully fully on your own yet. But then at a certain point I think for this specific s think this would be any scope. It can become this right new radio. Repet- repetitive monotonous. Just unnecessary it's like years. You need to pay kajillions of dollars to realize it's a business and all that. Welcome to King's over ten mayhem. You're listening to morning. Ma'am can I help you happening clumsy and stupid? Actually now I am the bill. Captain Kid you ready for check ins born is going to say. I was born ready to cut the closest thing. We have to a God on earth dumper sources thoughts. He's a complete slime ball right. Oh Yeah no question to feel my foot. That's not me with something that feels like a foot doing right now. I'm working. I got a promotion. I just lied to Kelly. Why would you do that? I don't know man I just want another shot sit. Whitman were his way of the and bought. The hotel boss. Knew me favourite? Take it easy on Dauphin. Would you rather have credit card melt? My boss take care of ice and I mean it's a huge scam and those girls were in on the too. Don't you WanNa know what our bodies are capable of girls work during the day my nights let's do is cutting everyone that spirit you into a guest? He's unacceptable impersonating a manager and that is a felony. I think that's a felony. Forty five jaw. Here we go. I'm not sure he's praying for shut up bitch online. We begin to urinate ZAN for real indoor and we're fortunate to get like with the Bfa Program obviously like we got more shows that we just had to audition for and get parts but Anyway I guess professors we had be. I don't want to say the better professors but professors that were more just designed to work with kids. That were Making acting The the sole you know if you're you had more room to minor in other Things which bummed me out sometimes because there's so many dope classes I just could never fit in the schedule like a a Beatles history class where there was like the Leonard Maltin class. Yeah I see I I so agree like it's almost like I feel like kids should just not. I feel like everyone should take a few years after high school to just go through life and go try start idea. I think that. Can you imagine if if you could go back to school for a few years as a grownup and really a appreciate it? Appreciate the education the opportunity to just learn to sit and read things in here. Lectures and And then curate your your courses in your learning in a way that actually excited you. You know what I mean like. I just curious You get a ticket tasks like it's just a drag that's forced on you know what I mean. Yeah Yeah that's my two cents kids. Don't go to college unless you five years later. We're not waiting for the the Jerry Springer final thought at the end of it is did is it. My was just too high or did we call you egg ral. Yeah yeah that was. That was a that was a constant. Yes okay great. My therapist is still dealing with that. Yeah who who came up with that? 'cause college kids love nicknames whether it's Fragile Theaters Yeah. I the the front thing was funny. I did that for like half a second just because we are in theater school so I was like let me just do the opposite just to see how I wanted to try halfheartedly was find out. Yeah that was the one that my freshman year roommate did and their house burned down. Yes I think senior. No my senior your junior year. I think like yeah like the year after I joined something like Oh God got it was great. Yeah one guy in that Nicknamed Me Egg Dick which I enjoyed. Because for the lack of creativity he had to and just pure the FRAT -ness of that ethnic great just a great way just not no cleverness no cleverness just literally taking something that he found a lot of comedy in and and what he's yes the mail which you can attach to just anything. Yeah it was grow. I wonder all right have been I think was jake thing. I feel like goals. Yeah and still and still wider for those two counties. Yeah fill definitely. Yeah in Jake to. I think they were both pretty generous. With like and quick to like throw out fun labels that you like that can stick a couple of years and comes along which is always say. You're really going that you're really amazing. Oh yeah ain't grow eggrolls. A classic like Oh my ego egg man. Eggy egg any version of Egg. Scrambled Egg Eggy. Yeah that's good all of it. Yeah did Teachers ever pick up on that and I remember one time I forget who it was. But yes Taylor. Somebody was I had grown and the teacher is just confused and mixed. He'll so out of the loop. It's like almost when you when you see you artist on an MTV. As and you're like Faulk Dude I who is that like? That's probably what the teachers were feeling when they're like egg roll is it. Don't they mean Eg Dick like who is this kid? I I was Dick Jarnac. Cuba the Frat told me was egg. That's how I got in in. The family is recalled blindfolded. It actually was the teacher who remember. It's so crazy that my final show. There was that playboy the wasn't world. Which was the Irish show that we did with Andy Robinson Directing which was pretty a REAC dude like that guy. I I want to know from your experience because you now obviously worked with. I mean so many insane Directors Spike Lee being one of them but any Robinson was. It was pretty cool for us to get that experience in college guy that was had worked in films and TV so much but was such a theater Guy Right Dutch. Peter guy he also felt like to me the most intense director. I'd I think I'd had up to that point as far as like and then. I responded to that. Had like a tough almost coach mentality to them and really yes. Did that a lot and like fucking kit like get into it and it was less. I didn't know that I could be pushed or really. Yeah and it got me fired up and sometimes not even Lee hersal being like fuck. That guy was like and then you let whatever he said Simmer. And you're like man and then you'd WanNa go back and and give him what he was talking about but he was so excited about it and it was the perfect thing to leave college. With as far as like getting riled up because like we talked about yes the business prep in school theaters. And I don't know if it's changed since we're there but is not what it should be or. I don't even know how you go about trying to prep kids other than like we lavar. Burton and Henry. Winkler come in and talk to US and Lavar. Burton smacked his face with a knife and said it's a tool and a weapon. And I was like I think you bleeding. I'm pretty sure it's fucking weapon. But but what did he do himself and he said it's a what Lavar Burton was giving a Senior class like they were trying to give us get some real live in the real world thousand percent so he's with a Swiss army knife and he's I know some people don't do accidents mind though some people would see this as a weapon but others see it as a tool that just hit himself with a knife the blade but I'm sitting there. I look over some kids in my class. That will not see their names are taking notes on. Like what the Fuck Are you? Why are you doing? What could you possibly be pulling from him? And then he like it himself. Start Bleed a little and I remember raised. My hand and I was like Mr Burden. I'm pretty sure it's a weapon because you've got a little bit a little bit spilling curse off with the two older you're using and he's like there's two ways to look at things. I get a Napkin. There's two ways to look at things right to to acknowledge. Yeah love it. That's great. That's great but those types of Things that was pretty much it so to have a guy like Andy. That was really pushing it. Would you remember that show? It's cool to be because I think I played your dad right and then back. Yeah that's right. Yeah and then Beck played. I think my dad or not vice versa. Back in Playboy Beck was my dad right. Yeah and you were out. That's right I think so. So as your grandpa right think so oh man. You know that. That play actually had a similar effect on me. He wasn't amazing. Guy had a lot of fire very genuine very visceral guy and there was one one one of the most confused moments of my life was during that play and and then I actually had a conversation with back. I don't know a year ago or something about it's somewhat recently and he kind of like course corrected this this this sort of. I don't know how to say this built this. So what happened was andy was giving notes to everybody and Playing playing the quote unquote lead of this play. Who's a guy who kills his father WHO TURNS OUT TO BE BACK? Who's coming next for his grandfather played by Adam Ray and and at the dress rehearsal something? Andy's standing in front of them and sitting any gives everyone knows you're gonna you gotTa know. And then he goes he goes Ryan and then he just he just breathes I. He just takes a minute like what he's about. Today's going to be epic and the more the anticipations building a horrible. I guess what what is it? I ruined all my like my worst actor time. And then he goes. You gotta take it. You gotta take and I was like what does that mean. I've got it. I got to take it a take it and he's GonNa take your it just kept getting super into it and without and without saying to live more in the emotional truth of This thing or what is your religion. Are Any any kind of specific guidance? He gotta take it and I was like. I don't know that means and so I went to do the next Players the latest being like am I taking did I tell me once I've taken yet can you? Can you explain how you take something? Yeah and I. I was in respect. Your study meant like just step up to the plate. Man You've got to deliver a you're not delivering and it just always stuck with me of like what do I what do I gotta take it. And and then later back told me that he had a conversation with deb. Wall lovely areas and about that. She's amazing confused them to and I guess that s debit was about and Deb was like without patting myself on the back said something kind like Oh is just a little different. He's more like you know or filmmaker something more you know nuance as opposed to the big stage. They would wear something like that. That was ultimately kind of a kind remark at Miami. Yeah Yeah I was yeah fucked. That guy did take it in my own way But no not. Fuck that guy he. He's a genius. I was so grateful to to work with him but I was funny. That experience always always stuck with. That's Coleman I'm glad to hear that because that was I you know when I do any sort of racking my brain of experiences on Mike you know someplace you get Cooler parts and others and I mean ship Patrick Adams and I did one called Vinegar Tom. Which we we're witch hunters and I remember. It was like such a cool play and then like you graduate and it's on your resume and you're going into like cold case and they're like vinegar. Tom The fuck that I did. I get it dude speaking of deb. Wall. That was so crazy. 'cause she was. I think sophomore year and she was like I don't know if she was like she your lover in the player where she just I small party because a member of go ahead. No no no. I was just trying to remember ensemble. It was there was a few ensembles up because Casey was the gleason. Yeah tender yeah do I have the romantic storyline with right. That's right yeah. Yeah I think she was on Sabu because I remember vividly like you know member of remembering her as being like this sweet soft like she even said backstage because again we had such a fun group. Like I think Jake and Trubin Westbrook. To a Ruben. Were all ensemble so it was like we had a fun crew. Just mix it up with pre post show even during in the In the green room and I remember dabbing so disquiet remember one time. She was like it's just like it's it's so cool to just be around. You guys are so funny in there. You're good friends. It's like cool just to be around that just so Kinda Ma. We know sweet then. I graduate cut to three years. She's like vampire eighties and lyster not be seeing this note. An Andy's take take it. I'M GONNA do no time. Where did you come from DEB? Deb Richard deb was always an amazing actress. I remember that I think I played her dad. In all's well that ends well I? I want to say my senior year her junior year. I think she was always a great actress But yet meant she. She does great work. But you have this. There is something so interesting about Sweet slightly Nikon a mild mannered. But then she sort of sheds that when she does her work which I suppose is the job but Yeah I I gotTa Humor Story. That's along the lines of worshiping. The be older kids at school. Yeah yeah that was just a disaster. I'm going to mess up some of the names. You're going to help the I got you were you cats class. That was one above you. Can Patrick Cat was above me? I'm say pat was above me. Cat Larson fuck face to that name. Art Forget it. I'M GONNA get the yearbook out in the second. I'm a freshman in school and I am cast in pride and prejudice. Yep as I want to say. William Fitzpatrick or Cheryl Patch Fitzpatrick Blues I think I have. I have basically one scene in the show which is like kind of top of act to wish I`Ma suitor who comes in to ask out your name Marlo or low. Tom Yes MARLA. He was playing. Yeah she was playing the main Gal and I'm kind of a suitor that comes into ask her out and she says like no. Thanks cushy stone love with so and so and And that's my whole part in the play. I'm the only freshman cast in the play. It's otherwise the juniors and a few seniors it's like an upperclassman place so yup my head You know swells with pride that I'm the one freshman to be cast in pride and prejudice against with the GROWNUPS. Yeah I'm Jay I'm pretty pumped up yet. You must say best tanked up. Yes I brought my best. Thanks and Got Him Butcher. The names Sean John Casey yes Kerrigan. No more laundry right. We're going to put people people listening. Like Oh God shot up. You don't care who don't care we don't care who are Ryan anxious from Adam. Gay Adam stupid equally clever by a so the name so there was there was one kid who's supremes donor also junior. I'll spare their names because there's drug use anyways. Yeah and I'm super pump to be hanging out with the all the kids to an cut cut you. Were doing a play dating by this. Just start dating cats. Who was a junior who C- who did it for like two years? Well she dancer no. She was a junior okay. Bfa Class Okay. Thanks for remembering I've got about this guy and amazing probably my first love Lovely sweep great woman and her parents were coming that night to see the show and to visit and I had not met them and I had just started dating this girl and was all amped on it and intermission comes won't dressed up on backstage. The place happening and two or three of the older kids Gabe I think Columbus at. Yeah but but it was just going to get everyone in trouble now. Police are GONNA come after them for so. We're going to smoke a joint intermission. You WanNA come. Yeah I absolutely do not nonsmoke- we can go out on stage. No I also have to fit in with the older kids. Oh it's not an officer. It's not an option. Duck out this opportunity to be quote unquote cool so. I step out the back of the theater. People are out running the theater. It's intermission we walk around the block just casually smoke in. I'm trying desperately to fake it. I'm trying to spoke the least amount of weed with the most Showmanship so just take twelve. That's good just try and blow it everywhere but it's a great join but I ended up getting just ranch and I'm outta stone. I'm not I don't smoke a lot of weed especially that age. I'm like Almond Novice stoned out of my face. We'll say no. I don't smoke weed all across the Internet. You'll find mean-spirited articles with headlines like the dumbest town in America the most caffeinated. How would you even determine that? Hey what's up guys? Each week I traveled to a notorious American town. You're Arbor. That's better than a lot of things I've been calling. Give it a chance to throwdown reputation several Jerry. I'm gonNA prove what each town is. Truly all about. 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Just looking at all these faces looking at me and going. This is so weird anthem. Talk now I still and most of these. He's telling me you said that this I have to talk now is that in. The script does not sound like Jane Austen so and so I get a I get I get through the scene. I get back to where about to exit and and I freeze. I go up and I'm just staring at her and she's looking at me becoming increasingly panicked and someone shifts in you know when she goes. Would you like to take me for a walk and I go? Yes yes what would you? I would like to take you if you would like to go with me because I post log with the stage session crumbs over we exit. Go backstage survives. Then meet the parents still kind of smell I O or was it was a terrifying experience. It's scarred me that is unbelievable. That never do ads. Oh Dude I think I've had dreams like there's the dream of or the nightmare rather of going out on stage not remembering your lines or have you ever had. That had that old. Yes where I'm like. Yes and I'm there and I'm like what can I look at it again I? I'm I haven't done this play in six years like dude you're on now we go. Yeah go sick. The Classic Actors Nightmare. What does that mean? I've never been. A dream analyzer. But do you have all knows? I mean it's being some kind of anxiety Garo I literally one of those. It means latent homosexuality you should know. I wish there was just dry ice. If there was just an inexpert to look at. Oh actors nightmare. Yes yeah it's like a toast in. My dream means racist. Oh Yeah Oh no knows you got upset because the white toast turn black you like is that. Oh Oh yeah topic Rony. Robbins wrote this book. Yeah Yeah Yeah. I had one of those years. I just have one where I was like. In the dream I remember agreeing to do this. Play but not rehearse it and being like all show up. It'll be fine and then being backstage and going wait. Wait wait wait. What's the what am I supposed to I stand and so I'll just go to Cuba? Where am I going? This cross just like reeking up her idea dude. The anxiety that actors go through people. Don't get it dude now. People all these all these doctors and nurses out there trying to save lives. They don't understand you've gotta you've done a lot of cool charity stuff man which is very cool that you've gotten famous and like done all these you know you're just like it's cool to take your your public figure nece and your Your your notoriety and like spinach too. Good and Man I. It's yeah it's it's very cool. It's very inspiring. And it's you know seeing you like two or some of these hospitals and then and then like I think though thing I just saw recently was was it with feeding for America. What's the organization that you were feeding America? Wearing amazing group. Yeah did Has the new Amsterdam experience. Like I mean like you probably like walk and talks on other shows rightly to an hour. Blacklist Dirtier Did The medical jargon was that. I mean something that you had to truly. I go to a hospital and and really try to understand it fully. Were you like as long as I say it right and act like I'm saying it good enough because like you know. These people go to medical school for years to truly get it all. So I'm wondering it's almost feels like pompous or overly ambitious to be. Let me figure it out in two months before we shoot an act. What are we shooting ten minutes? Yeah figure do Heart Surgery. Give me a second right but I mean obviously like the because you do it. So seamlessly some. I'm wondering what your prep is like for that. Because you know no you're you're you're you're right in that it's it's mostly the latter. I mean there's there's certainly no attempt to you know pretender adopt become a doctor or You know can because you play on television that you action. You're doing a but that said we have you know great nurses and doctors on set with us to be you know our architect who will help us who teach us sort of the quick one. Oh one of certain things we can always email or call or I mean a lot of times you know and you know this. It's like you could be talking about you playing an astronaut or a doctor or a police officer as long as you understand the intense in the senior being truthful than it doesn't really matter if you're using a made up language or English or Japanese. It's like you know as long as you find the truth but but yet we have nurses doctors. Who Will you know say okay? So here's what happened. In this case this person would come in bleeding this. Why would I do this? You probably second do this or that and you might call for this drug or something when you okay and you basically understand temporarily sort of the basics of how that situation may play out or or what the thinking might be but yes. It's intense of playing the scene. And I I would. I would make would be a terrible doctor for shut. Well when I was announcing on this podcast I got a message on Lincoln off the show because real world medicine thinks you can can thinks he wants to use your kid in there. I would if I can. What was the first scene that you did? It was so Like a classic. I'm sure you watch the are back in the day right So your great amazing amazing show. I'll still from time to time. It's I was given an opportunity to direct acting episode which was awesome. I saw that that. Yeah man it was fun man. It was it was a real challenge to no. It's directing is such a funny thing because he the Naievety at least speaking for myself always like my job is to be imaginative. And you think naively that your job is to come in and see the world and the shots the angles. The lenses in the on. We'RE GONNA MOVE. Theo and it's going to be so beautiful and Such a pragmatic gig. It's just so about production timing schedules and lighting and and beats in the such nuts moat suid but anyways long as short I watched a bunch of year because of all the medical shows I just think that was Was a pretty good one. All the all the steady cam work they did on that. What was the first scene? You guys did where it was like a crazy surgery. The chaos and trauma was like at you know level ten and it was like the common cameras are swinging around. GimMe a four five double. Give me a double dip chocolate chip. Put it in the wave bringing in cut no not ice cream. It's not ice cream. Oh I know the character is of hunger now well when St treat exactly like what you remember what was in what that was like two two we were the the the the pilot and the pilot. David chaloner routes very very well was was Full of stuff in fact one of my few an only criticisms of the pilot when I read it. I think I even maybe voice today but it certainly was not my place them but but they would take you exactly. No no just that there was. There was possibly too much like that. It was too much for one hour for one episode. It was like a lot of stuff went down. Big Big scary Situations and I was like is this too is going to sort of flat now because it's so so much high drama continually but Heart and that was probably had to my wife on the show suffers a a the words out of my head where I real doctor I would know it. I'm just a DUMB ACTOR EDUCATED. A man of medicine and On the tip my tongue. Just just Google it. She's GonNa die basically. Yeah because of complications from the pregnancy to has a word that starts at a P. That's just gone. Gone with all the other lines. And and and yes that's it. She's GonNa Dr Annoying Hyper Hyperplasia Preclude Creek lamps. Yeah that's the word plan. Look at you right. And she she's got and you just when you see those scenes on television not to their television shows so much material so fast that actors Even if they have the capability you don't necessarily have the time to dig in and make it a truthful or or whatever and it's like but for whatever reason I just remember it was the pilot in and wanting to not just be like concerned but to be terrifying vulnerable because the characters so in control any so good at being a medical director. And he's so clear fired. You'RE GONNA do this so-called the shots that I I just thought that if his wife was gonNA and it was personal and he just said he would be helpless and terrified and anyways that was a moment of just trying to think about how it would respond in real life to the person that you love or married to and are having a baby with dying in front of you and have you want them to live and how helpless scared you feel having to rely on other people to to do something about it and so that was an interesting moment to play with and I feel like we in fact. I remember the the our director Kate Dennis. Who's a lovely director Terrific director she between. I'm not I'm not like method stained character whatever vining needs or I was GonNa know but but for that scene. You can't just go to like Oh gobber Weistein too like hey pass the corn nuts so I just tried to stay and we got just not sunset. Nbc's Know Expat Snow Expense. And I just remember staying you know in a emotionally fragile vulnerable place just to stay there so it could action just kind of stay in that place of whatever fear and panic and remember kate between takes was like are you okay. I'm remember being like yes off on staying in the thing. What do you think I'm doing this because I'm like half grind between ten and she's like are you. Yes yes okay. Just how it was spend with your material in general for Black Klansman like when you got that first of all insane did you read once twice was cast off tape. How'd that go bike and good in that man? Thanks man I was just such a Lurid amazing opportunity. Oh and I and I. He was Amazing throughout that whole process from start to finish just incredibly supportive and and very Creates just the atmosphere feeling of looseness in honesty? And very not not precious Very very open. Try things very open? Just do it. And who cares? You had drywall network. Try in that way. Whatever move on yes got it no just very like let's just find something truthful and go on down but yeah no when when you read out in the switching roles I think and then And then Yeah it was. Like what what is your. What's your next move because clearly it's working so I'm I'm curious for the young actors Comics Stepdad's out there listening to this. Like what. What is the first thing you do? What's the second thing and then? How much do you throw that out? Once you get on set and go let me just trust what I've done now and it's time to rock and roll so they that's a funny story because got the material and ended up Getting like wig a mustache and all this stuff to try to like like I'm just GonNa go for it. I'm GONNA look the parts. When it looked very seventies period gonNA look as racist as possible and What you already did so it was like at most minimal. Yes exactly And then I ended up the morning of like throwing it out being like now. This is to my. This is not like a third or fourth re I do and I don't think spike was even there? I think it was just casting so as too much Don't don't it so I I kind of wish that which by the way I I go for it. I always say go for it. You want to try a waiter or Pisa costume moral FRY or something. John I say do. It's as long as it's good. You know the classic. You don't WanNa bring a fake gun. That's never fun for anybody but But yes if there's anything that helps you feel it or or if you think it's weird or if they judge me like I'm trying to do strange. Just just go for it. If in fact dirt I had brought to a fake does seem took place with the dog he was pretending to be this charitable dog Walker and I brought a fake dog and set it on the table for the audition. It was referencing the dog in them in their. Remember Courtney Cox later saying to me that she was like What about the Dog Guy? What about the Dog Guy? So it's like you know. Sometimes that stuff is I don't mix somebody remember. You potentially whatever so I I say. Just be weird and go for it. But that's amazing for for spikes it was What happened when it. Oh and then met spike very very very nervous and He says you're not right for this role. Tried this role. I think ever that gives me another parasites I go outside and have like five minutes with it and just read a handful of pages and go back in and wing it and just make like really quick choices like I don't know if it's the right one but let's this. There's no time to just do to make a choice right. Like exact words completely on whatever it is. You're trying to deliver shirt or just trying to figure out exactly what they want. Just yeah exactly. Make a choice. Make a strong choice and No go for it. And the first thing that hit me about that character was just his lack of confidence in himself and his desperation to be accepted in light store. That was just the first thing I went with this guy who's just all show and just really kind of pathetic loser at home and probably you know wife probably left in for you know. Probably four black than maybe. That's where hatred comes from. I was just making these choices. Like ribs never accepted known this. Kkk thing that will accept him so he finds acceptance here and he's got a posture to be a tough guy because he isn't as he's you know and Anyway so just just kind of wing winged it And and it was great and of course then spiked gives you thoughts notes. Try Little this or that. And and and very shorted stocks to play with help you tap into a what he's going for and then And then yeah. He was kind enough to Let me come play. It was a great experience. Man Dude. Yeah that was. And then you guys did you go to the Oscars a I did not go to the Oscar snow but but yes the yes. The film wins and Spike One With Kevin for Screenplay which was amazing. So crazy fun to see him. Jump up on stage with the same Jackson. That was pretty cool. Are Those in general cool. Are you dig him? Do you would your first one overwhelming and like but then so cool and then he kind of settle in announced old news or you get jacked up. Because I hear some people being like I go. I have to but it's the parties are okay but I'm like I show up for thirty minutes and I bounced because I'm not social but your social writing and I assume the schmoozing if you if you can show off that side of yourself to like. I'm sure that it does help. So why wouldn't you do it right? Yeah I mean. I don't go to those but I've been to you know sags and Golden Globes spirit into a few and You Know I. Here's the thing I've never been nominated as an individual if he's been nominated a handful of time. Sporran on solvable award like Sagi- Tumbler. Spirit as well and things like that. Which is amazing. And I'm like you know I was very very proud to be nominated anyway but I think it would be different if you were going. You know in the best supporting actor something where you are then you would be really there with a purpose for reason. Hopefully for something. You're proud of that. You would like to see the attention exactly. Yeah that's what you're alluding to is that if somebody asks fully best show idea who goes to add ray and Ryan Eckel for CSI Glendale shoplifting episode Genius Award and that's cool. Yeah have you. Do you You know I've I've heard pretty crazy. Jay Farrar told me a story about like peeing next de Niro Pacino in the bathroom. Golden Globes been any sort of been involved in a urinal sandwich stores whether you're three way with Bob. Nfl in the bathroom. It was no accident it was we had. We would meet at midnight in the men's room and we would. Just yes. No yes you see. Every actor actress under the Sun. I mean you know one of the some throughout school because you meet someone you really admire. I went to I. Honestly forget which one it was but it was shortly after might have been the year. Murray Herschel Ali one for moonlight he wants from midnight right order Yep Yep And I just loved that film and loved him so love him As just such a fan that you never wanna be obnoxious or noise especially those things like people working to but just said Hi and told him I really appreciate his work and stuff and and And then you end up channing for two minutes you know just a quick nothing special. Just a quick. I'll thanks a lot and say this about an as just and then it's under to meet sort of folks you look up to and admire in that way. Not Total Exterior is always kinda fun being an Amsterdam renewed for season three right. That's true right. Yes yes we finished to and then threes coming back. Yeah that's crazy. I once you get to this three season mark man you're Kinda coasting and the show speaks for itself. You're so good. The CAST is dope. It's like look you always need a medical drama and like one that's got heart and like good characters and again to hit that season three mark like I don't know if you're superstitious or how you feel but when you get when you guys finish these to where you like. Yeah like it's like we're jamming like we're like now. There's just more room to grow as we like shocked when he got the call for season three over. You like elated where you horny like what was the ASA. What was the emotional? Yes I got a step not getting I I They pick this up for a three seasons for season. Three four and five dude. Thank you for correct me. I thought that's what I saw and I didn't want to ask Dick but no exactly. It's not that exciting one. Okay thank God. That's fucking bonkers. It's amazing there's new leadership in NBC and You know television's been changing for always changing. But you know with the advent of streaming sort of subscription based content and everybody's moving to creating an owning their own original content. Netflix was more netflix's stuff on awesome. Before a self was may four and be stuff. That's there's launching peacock and everything so I think you know yeah. The show's do well here and internationally as well and like you said there's always a home for the medical drama and So yeah I think they wanted to give support to David and the writers and the producers and everybody in and let them know that they can. They can build on it and three more success. What what we. I don't feel like you hear that often where it's like you get picked up for three more a couple more. Apps. Maybe even a couple more scenes. They're like we're gonNA order to more scenes of the middle with Fuck Patricia Heaton. Whatever Chris Arquette is you're the middle no it's the woman from. Everybody loves Raymond. These pictures eat. I'm going Patricia. Let's not re remedy. Larry Queens okay. I'm mixed up. Forget wait so either way right now. You're remedies at home going medical drama. No not that like. She's doing the same thing to me. Let's just very clear. She's like the scrubs the guy with the stupid hair tank top and the beard. Yeah the Funny Looking Guy. This didn't get kicked out of Mumford and sons okay. He dropped out of school taught them to so they said. Do you go extra cuckoo for cocoa puffs when you get three seasons in one call? Yes mean you know Not TO BE. Disparaging all awards or to be Ungrateful but there's also a bit of territory to the holy crap. This thing is going to be here for a long time. But it gives you the freedom to then Settle into like Iguana destiny show more. I mean me personally it makes me WANNA go. I would like to be involved in something. They need it at all but just to sort of figure out you want you know. It's a network medical drama so it so it is what it is. You still want to figure out how to not do sort of exactly the same time and figure out these between season sort of what what's different to play with what something where you can push the material to new territory because not just for the army for the audience that to to see something develop That's I did that. You had that feeling because that is like if you are at the helm of it and going to be involved for that long it's like and you are are creative guy. It's like you can't help. But be on set offset thinking of when you're invested in the story and everything that much you can't help have ideas and it's like hey man it'd be cool. Some of those could get hurt it and they're very cool about letting million and I think others contribute in and feel heard and sometimes listening and sometimes saying no we. We DISAGREE WITH THAT. Which is their their right to. But they're they're they're pretty collaborative which is which is nice. You don't always get that and David shown in particular is very Very Eagle this Warm collaborative and it's it's that's rare in his position so it's nice. This is personally great for me. 'cause I've written about sixty different new Amsterdam log lines. I didn't know if I was going to get a chance to throw at him and now. I got three seasons worth of chances. It's kind of like a you know one of them's GonNa make it. I mean just on a law averages alone yeah okay well let me just go and review if you hear okay. Great Okay Guy. Walks into seven eleven gets head off. Second One guy sprained ankle. Getting out of Uber. Folks Uber driver The third one guy has kid psych fourth fourth. One guy gets divorced then remarried then divorced again then starts pinball machine arcade company gray. I that one I think when I was half asleep guidance guides pizza wakes up in ocean so looks I can email you us. Direct Email's fine You can text them If you WANNA just write them down and put them in a bottle and just send it out to see and it should at some point Reno. I'm picking up on your Sarcasm Dick and not a fan. This is me. Look at Stewart. Guy Ray right. Equally clever on getting triggered was hoping for a spit. Take all over the screen yet. I would've been great few more minutes. I WanNa ask you real quick and thanks by the way. It's great to see your face man. Yeah Youtube Buddy. And and it's rare. It's it's very. I don't know if this happens for you a lot but like you know you seem like again someone that can pick up things left off and like you know yes and be chummy with with whoever's in your space but like I think it's always a really cool sign when You know we've Texan over the years and stayed in touch and followed each other shit but like to have a challenge. This and have a piece of fun. It's like Oh fuck. Yeah Dude for likewise man. Now it's a good time I want hear more about the podcast thing in the podcast is an exciting space. These days I feel like this is a lot of great ones and an. How's it all? Go well you know when we're making love line five next season we can dive into it. But I can tell you about. Yeah I could do. I mean it's something that you know if this thing continues for minute like you You should jump in into it in some fashion man because not only with your You know Listening capabilities but like you got a lot of people at your disposal that I bet would would love to a jam with you. You know If you fund the thing about a podcast I ever start. requires a degree of of honesty. That would be a I know as a leap to make. I'm I'm fairly proprietary Issue I don't do a lot of me stuff out there. I can't even say it becomes uncomfortable talking about but when you're working if the character to high behind stuff do an interview it's like it's about a project but I feel like podcast you have to. You'd be yourself you've gotta be President Open and honest and all that stuff and I don't want the truth to come out about who the truth about my sex dungeon. I can't have people knowing let's out because let's be honest. People have subscriptions to a to a lot of sites and they. They've seen also look if you didn't blog about it. I don't think it would be Sunday rank that I started a subscription based families. Fan On the account to my That's that was a bad move dude. I googled fun water slides for the summertime and egg. Dick sex dungeon came up. So you WANNA talk about. You're not in the Advertising World Award. Yup so no I hear you do the. I'm constantly trying to push myself to be more. 'cause there's certain things that I'm just like you know like my buddy feel von will talk about not jerk for like a month and dive and I'm like man that's just not a. It's not something that truly me to talk about that part of me. Ab Not definitely going a month but but also it's like I am always interested in finding the funny and other things but unfortunately the podcast where people truly latch on when he cummings has gotten really good at this about being just so ron open on every and almost exposing too much to where you're like annoyed but you can't stop watching. You know right right. No any of that down for me as a listener of ours. Naughtiest never you know. That's that's when I that's when I connect. That's what I'm in because you know it's like stand up to be. It's like comedy really in general great stand up and just watch. Jerry Seinfeld's tonight area anybody. It's like they say things that you thought felt at some point on a certain degree Maybe they framed that way or different way or or sort of remind you that you have even had that something that's happened to. I mean there's so much related bill at the That that makes comedy Funny I think makes any material drama. Podcast interesting makes you want to invest. Because you you connect on that personal level and that sort of the relief of it. It's almost like therapy in a way where you're Got Him not alone. You somebody else feels that way to somebody else had that experience or not needed is. That's that's the great thing about it. I think Have you Wanted New York grab you. You know what I'm saying because in La blue and lived there for so long worked there for so long. But I've been there seven and a half years right. Yeah Eight yes. Yeah totally right. When did you like I was always? Yeah no you go. Not Knowing what's disagree not speak less agreed to not speak anymore period ever again though I mean ever new to this is what happens. Wait so what what is. I've been in New York many times for stand up and only been there truly live there for a little bit with the girl after college for about six seven months to try to make there was doing open mics in work in an and it just. It wasn't the near experience that I it was great for that time but now I go. Oh I could only be here for shows or if I had a like a a really solid acting gig like you got that that allowed me to get immersed in living there for sure and when did that. When do you really feel like? Oh this is home now and and I. I have a grasp on the subway system and I don't get phased when people screaming me on the street and I have almost picked up some of that New York food right right right for sure. I was as a kid. I always idolized New York. Not even entirely sure. Why just have the energy as I was a kid? We're on a trip or something. I just like what is this. Place is just full of so stupid. It's just but it's full of buildings people in the cavs and the lights in the theaters. Especially because I was interested in theatre even if I didn't know why yet or what it was all about. It was like that's amazing. All these theaters and you can get a hotdog right on the street. Like just right on the street this is this is enter he And just that energy of that town always appealed to me and then with college I actually was going to go to either. Nyu or or or or a CLA. I ended up sort of accepting to nyu. Because I I didn't have the heart to be like I'm not GonNa go 'cause I just figured it would be better to sort of here. There was more opportunity in La so did back but then yeah then gotTA show That took me to New York. Which was blacklist ironically. I had been spending a half by your in New York and was thinking you know what I think. I'm going to move here full time. And then just and then got an opportunity to perfect perfect timing and let's go dovan and I don't know man I. I loved that city every time I go back I I. I'm it's such a romantic city. I you know the beginning of Manhattan. Yeah Woody Allen Film where he idolized the city. All proportion. I that's That's me. I love to a quick Quick Mary Fuck. Kill with Ryan Mathews from that of your character. Tom Keene your blacklist character Mexico. Your New Amsterdam character. Mary Kay you know what? It's actually very easy. Hold already ask you this question and we just this morning. Sorry Google when I can't answer it I would have to chill methods nine. Oh two apologies to any SAN soaps that guy just by the way that was your nose win the heartthrobs into dude such Boehner. Such a Boehner. I I on instagram. Somebody Very sweetly made a collage of different. Like looks those a bunch of Nano to now looks and my hair was like. I mean this is like know when we graduates. This is early. Two thousands are are at one five so you were six. Oh Six yes okay. So this is two thousand eight or something and I have this hair like nineteen eighty five like on saved by the bell and just off the eighties like no it was the late two thousands and like he just looked like an asshole. Mc wh-why who let my hair looked like that who let the dogs out who let and now. It looks like this so good so really Gary Good. Will they let you want with this for Await finish the finish the. Oh yeah okay then I would So I would. I would have to have one night of passionate lovemaking with the with Tom. Gene from blacklists. Because he's a little more dangerous. You know kind of a bad ass a bit of a dark dark figure there and then of course Mary next because he's a kind generous thoughtful maze at a hospital. He's a good guy. Give you a bad guy in hospital yet. No No. I don't think so you could ask Dr Fauci about that one. Well Hey man this has been a fucking treat your the man buddy. Thanks for having me. Your. Are you coming back to New York to do stand up anytime soon. I just actually got I mean when life resumes. Of course we also so I'm doing a club in Utah at the end of the month and then Arizona after that so clubs are it's not going to be a full on comeback. But it's GonNa be like third capacity like right asks at masks and Sanitizing Stations. People seated you know. Are you to stand up with the masks? Because you've got to take the mascot to master now by my own Mike though honestly right bring it to wherever I go because I'm GonNa wait for them to provide it and share now. You don't WanNa you know what a wet wipe off the last to sell over that and it's not even that I don't WanNa share the spit of another comic share the spit of comic. That's below me but it's but it's it's a safety thing but it's it's exciting but it's also scare me and some people jumping full full in and filling up their counter right now as much right can to get ahead of it but yeah man. I mean a New York is definitely on the docket but I Lesson was out. There was September. I did radio city with Dankuk that was bonkers dope. That was crazy man. It looks like a matte painting you walkout and it's just like look real and then you get a couple of laps in. Yeah okay. It's just a show but wave. I mean I've only seen Chapelle. There are three times so at yesterday up on a pedestal. Right and it's just and it's just so big and it's so deep to we still talk radio the most giants one of the most beautiful venues in in the world. I love that that space. Do you try real quick. Do you try to go to a lot of That also feels like something that because it's in your backyard. Maybe you take right but shows now comedy but Broadway because it seems like there's always new things coming up so you really have no shortage not as much as I should end the shooting television. Show you know as as schedule as Craziest just a nonstop and you know how much working so great. You're doing a show good for you. Who with no I mean I was last semester Radio City or was it beacon? I saw a WILCO. Either way I I saw Jerry Seinfeld at the beacon which I think he was doing a lot of material that went into this was. That's yeah. Wow that's awesome of edgy raising. He's Gr- do the bit about the your cellphone dying and if I don't get in collapsing on stage just such great. It's so true But yeah no I I I should. I should more but I still do. We drive across the Brooklyn Bridge to go to work. Or whatever and I I do often look out. Just go man. That's a good looking town. You Dude if anyone ever says Ryan Egg roll does not know how to close out a podcast. And I'm GonNa sit on this because you literally go look out. The window. Drove the Brooklyn Bridge. And Damn. That's a pretty town. I should've just turn the Mike off. Fuck you new. Amsterdam's is every to God does when we come back but it was a Tuesday evening. Ten right yeah. I believe that's right. Let's let's hope that's right if it's wrong. I just got fired. New Amsterdam affected just watched it so as Tuesday ten right like Roy on me. Airs Fuck Perfect. No you should go out there. Airs Data Ratio? My God I wish I was called. That fuck is too late to change it boy. You know I'll put it in. Put it in the front but only put it in now. Let's go Tuesday attended if it's a different time. Have Google logo Google Fan of the show you already know. So that's right that's right. Well congrats again. You're the man and they always stays. I get back out there. Let's kick it live in the flesh please. When life resumes I would love to come to show probably ever but at least you know you knew lots. Standup terrifies me. I would love to try one day not to do what you do. Start a career but jill to do the terror in the panic of that will do so at. Gotham is the club. It's like my home club when I go out there right and Chelsea. My buddy joy McIntyre new kids on the block it lives there and he came out to see every time I'm doing shows and he's a same thing always want to try to do five minutes before me and bring me up on the Sunday show which is like right or the shows so he does get some laughs. Just WanNa flex the muscle. You can for sure do that if you want to. Man You know right right right. It can even be tight. It gave me one. It can even be one joke. I'm down I could do it. I'll stretch jokes for five minutes. Watch this nobody's GonNa do five but I think if you do one by the way sixty seconds on the last seconds. The last time I was there two times ago Seinfeld. It's like his. He goes to all the clubs. But it's favorite club. So Masili Chris. The owner calls me up. He's a buddy of seinfeld's he goes Saipa to come in work out for special. This is the one he did before this one the when he taped it the comic strip where he started. And he's like he wants come in and do like twenty Before you Mike Egos. Is that Kogo? Has Anyone ever said no? He's like no I go. I kind of want to just point two so he comes in twenty before me and then I go up and then And Mike Boy. Thanks for letting this fucking New Guy. Getting Yeah Dude. He was so funny and he does that all the time. Which is so cool. And it's it's why still at the top because he it's one of those things. You can't replace the Workman and the it has to be like anything doing muscle. No absolutely one day youtube pal get stand up show I'll be your opener for second solidly. Okay all right thanks buddy.

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Prequel to Episode 213

How Did This Get Made?

51:45 min | 2 years ago

Prequel to Episode 213

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Anyway. Order yours and get fifty percents off your purchase. For a limited time at Lisa L. E S A dot com slash bonkers and use the promo code bonkers, a poly-amorous relationship, a license plate conspiracy theory and Michael bay strikes back all this and more on today's. How did this get made many episode cut the fame onell race? Equaled on. Just the won't be episode. All the people that I commend Pilsen. Tom. Yes. Lots of dumb dumbs. It's me Paul Scheer. And welcome to a how did this get made many episode that amazing theme was by Frank gazette? Oh, wow. I love that so much. Here's the deal. People. Will we're going to do in the next. I don't know thirty minutes. Tell you all the info that you need for next week's episode, right? What movie we're watching what we're going to talk about where you can find it. And we're also going to go back to last week's episode. Hello, Mary, Lou problem that and kind of talk about things that you might have noticed that we might have missed. This is a Minneapolis ODA bridges, our main episodes, and if you're a first time listener may because he came in to to listen to Charlene's and Seth I welcome. And now, let's get into it. Because we got a lot of people with a lot of questions. It is now time for the explanation hope line. She. You tell me how to mile line. What should who want this? Thank you, James noble. Yes. He laid down the rules of this section pretty easily. You give me a call at six one nine Paul ask that six one nine P A S K. You can ask me any questions. You want about your life? Your job your love. Whatever I am going to help you we have cured people. We have taken care of people people have gone in to relationships out of relationships left. Their jobs got their jobs moved across the country started new careers, all because of me do I have proof. No. But I believe my advice has done all of that. And now, let's get into it with our first call from Dave in Ohio April day from Ohio. Got a weird question for you. My girlfriend is three years just told me that she has feeling for one of her best friend who happens to be woman. Now, I don't really. Mind, you know, she's into women on the big deal. But she's in spending a long time with her. And I'm not sure how to feel about that. She's trying to options and told her, hey, you know, you want to stay to it gets out. We can do that. I can say than she said. No, I she said. Yeah, she still loves me to shoot. She both entrepreneuring. I'm just trying to figure out. How should I how should I feel about this? You know to just in a lot of times. They're not me so much though. Love the show like whoa. Dave right out of the gate below king. My mind at first I was like get out go you done. But I love how honest your girlfriend is. I love how honest you are. I love how forthright you were about paying to give you space. Go figure it out. I think it all comes down. To where are you comfortable? Honestly. Right. I mean, this is a pretty crazy situation. The closest thing that I can tell you to do to find some solace is to watch you me her which is Bill. This television's first poly-amorous romantic comedy is a true show. I don't know why that came into my head when you talking here, but it is about a man. And and these two women that love each other. And he's like a part of it watch that maybe they will have some answers. But I wanna go I wanna go into the studio here. Cody Devon, I often go to you when when problems arise that I may not have the best answer for you heard it, what do you think your gut reaction? It's that is tricky because she says, she loves them. I know that's good. That is a good thing. And he offered the space. That's also good good. Everyone seems like they're being pretty respectful. In communicative here. This is not bad. But Cody, what do you think? Where's the where's the non silver lining to this? I think it's not fair to him. That's what I think we're in a relationship if there was no discussion of it's an open relationship before. But what does she not having right? Any relations? It. She just having the feel emotional friend. Yeah. I listen motionless commotion cheating cheating. But it's like she she's going through something she needs. She's probably scared. She needs the space to explore what's going on with her. But in the meantime, you know, they had a relationship he has got feelings. And I think if it continues to be in this gray area, I think it just gonna end up hurting him and everybody in the process. So Dave needs to look out for Dave. If he starts not liking what's going on. And we can hear it in the call. He's already a little bit miffed about it. I feel like you have to look out for you have to protect yourself in. It's okay to say, hey, you may not want space. But if this continues like this, I need space. Yeah. And that's fair. That's a fair thing. You know? I agree relationships are two way street just. Title of my book, Amy from New York what he got he promises. Amy from New York. He's hand of podcasts is airing. Could give me some advice. I have a somewhat new ish job and everything was really really great. And I kind of had as major fuck my you could say my like second week or two and a half weeks, then everything worked out. But now I'm getting this like sufficient in the ceiling every time his offense. If I'm not working from home that people there are like not going to trust me. They can't or projects. Is there a way to get over this paranoia? Should. I just ask someone like, hey, what's up or should? I just let it they think. Ooh, I'm pulling back in Devon. And Cody for this. Because I think this is a this is a common issue. I think everyone always thinks that people are thinking about the more than they actually are. And you can miss read signals and signs. But I don't know. I mean what I say just do. Good work and good work. We'll just race the bad work. I was going to say that. Yeah. I, but and definitely don't don't worry about it to such a degree that it's you know, starts affecting your work your ability to connect with your co worker or you call it back rather than people are like. Oh, right. You did fuck up. Then your biggest bringing it back all the time. What do you what do you think? Cody. I think you just need to like focus on doing your job doing a good job. And then being very communicative with the people around you and just say like, hey notices projects coming up. Let me know if you need help and just proving yourself that way. I mean, everyone fucks up and it just like how you move on after that. And that is just like an time races all wounds. Ultimately like if you don't. If you spend more time not fucking up than fucking up than your the not fucking up person. But you've yeah. Everyone that gives you a a one chance to fuck up. Yeah. I buy that. All right, great. That is it for all the voicemails. But some how did this get made a listener wanted us to record a video for them that they could play at their wedding reception. That is not going to happen. I appreciate the ask. Or even the bribe to donate to the show for that to happen. But it's not going to happen. But what I can say is this. They wanted us to record them they could play at the wedding reception. And how about something like this? What's up jerks? Please welcome for the first time ever Matt Koch and Jennifer shoes Thuc at you dummies. If you guys actually play that and like celebration comes in after it'd be great. All right people. Let's get into it. We're going to tell you what you got to watch for next episode in just a second. But a couple big things on the docket. We're doing a very big show at the e bell theatre here in Los Angeles on July thirteenth one show. Eight PM tickets are already on sale for everyone who subscribed to our LA mailing lists. And check out our social media pages for when those tickets actually, go up for the general consumption. Also, I don't wanna say anything, but I'm gonna say something that the league is doing a ten year reunion in Austin for the television festival, and you know, what maybe because Jason is there, and I'm there, and June might fly in actually she will find whom I fully we're going to be doing a show in Austin on the eighth venue to be determined. Also. Finna lookout sign up for the mailing lists. I know a lot of people are, but I haven't gotten anything we only sent him out wants to get it all Ogden. All right. So don't worry about don't freak out. Just yet. So June eighth Austin July thirteenth LA, and we might even add it continue how the the show has been selling. So far only the first thirty six hours. We might even be adding some more to that July thirteenth. Also wanna let you know that this weekend long shot comes out June. Diane Raphael is among touchy is fantastic. And she's so so fucking funny. I have a very small part in it. But I think it's a funny part go, Jeff definitely check out longshot. You've seen adventures in game. You know, what happens? I mean. Yes. The sex scene between the hulk and Spiderman was hot was it necessary. I don't know was fulfilling. Absolutely. So now move on and go see the longshot film. It's really really good. Also, if you're a comic book fan cosmic ghostwriter destroys marvel history episode three or issue. Three hit the stands this week this week cosmic ghostwriter refrains the history of the X men, which is a really daunting task. Because the X men are it's a soap opera, it's like watching General Hospital from the beginning. Anyway, definitely check those two things out. I think you'll really like it and finally. We have been having a lot of fun at F M L. It FM L is is called the fantasy movie league. This is not an ad. This is not anything. It's just basically a thing that I've started with my friends. And now I started it for how did this get made as well? You can join up just download the fantasy movie league app. You can get into the official HDTV G M league. And we just play every week. We bet on what movies will make the most money. Some people find it to be Superfund. Like, I do and some people get annoyed by it. But I think you if you like movies and talking about movies and predicting where the money's coming in. I think you'll like it. It's really fun. So we are the official HD T G M league get on that people. What are we watching next week while I'll tell you? Oh my gosh. We are going from Mary Lou to Madonna as we all get a little Shanghai surprise. It's described on IMDB as simply this Glendon ways. Easy is a sleazy down on his luck. Con man. Struggling to sell glow in the dark neckties and Shanghai. When he encounters the lovely Gloria tat lock a nurse who wants to obtain a supply of opium to ease. The suffering of her patients he decides to help her get a hold of a stolen supply of the valuable drug. The only problem is a lot of other people want to secure that stolen opium as well. Gangsters smugglers thugs and a host of dangerous low lives. Well, they didn't mention is. There is actually a real Shanghai surprise in this movie. I would argue a minimum of two let's take a listen to the trailer. And if you don't know what to Shanghai surprises. I don't wanna ride good for you. Best international currency in the world. Shopian Shanghai a place of mystery attentive. Skip that. SMS's such a nice car. Sean Penn C, you have quit following Mr. lazy. Madonna deceitful jealous. Fine backstabbing. Two missionaries and a glow in the dark pie. Salesmen. Do not just to people ask they seen a thousand pounds of opium lying around the waist. This two ways we have a lot to do today. Lixin saying you sense Syria line eighteen. The crazy. You know that piece as two ways. Warner Brothers presents Sean van Madonna. Shanghai surprise. They're saying is the prize. Yes, Madonna was an opium move. He was Sean Penn that hearkens back to like these thousand nine hundred forty style like Spencer, Tracy, Katharine Hepburn films. Did it work? No, it did not you can watch Shanghai surprise on new for only two ninety nine or please check your local public libraries. We can find the movies for free or even on the local public library streaming engine which I forgot what that is. But there is one you can find people libraries are your friends, please use them. And now it's time for us to go back in time to go back to high school as we dive even deeper into the mythology of prom night to. Hello, Mary, Lou. I know I flipped at that time. But I wanted to. It's only I like to call corrections and omissions too. Get ready to tell us something that we don't know maybe wrong. From the show. Corrections and. Thank you, Wally tarkenton that is the composer of that song and singer as I imagined to these are all corrections emissions that are cold from the era of dot com. Message boards. We pick the best ones. We kind of tighten them up make them easy to listen to. And now you get my take on your thoughts, Gigi tastic rights. I just need to say this episode is officially one of my favorites of all time. Yes, we've heard that a lot. Thank you so much while. Yes, Mary Lou is a simple bitch who is all about the crown and title of prom Queen. I think that her obsessive need to win and to be crowned as a symbol for the life. She lost. She says while making out with principal Bill post power stance on his desk. Honestly, what a power move. She could have been anything being crowned prom Queen is a stand in for that. She has her a whole life ahead of her. And she was on top of the world all of that possibility was taken from her. She's never going to graduate go to college. Get a. Job any of it everything she's worked for is ash. And it's all this fuckers fault, Gigi tastic, you just basically just wrote a beautiful essay about Mary Lou. I would argue that this is almost like reverse secret. You know, here's someone who doesn't have a chance to to live her life her high school life again the secret we got that chance again. But what what cost, you know, an end look, honestly based on the behavior of Mary Lou. I I don't know if she's going that far. I mean, she might go far in that town. But I I'm predicting the some sort of a burn out some sort of a last picture show burn out like a it's she feels to me like a rung lower than simple shepherd and last picture show. Anyway, why am I making a lot of references stunts pulled movies? Definitely check out on for having a lot of fun over there people. I'm learning about cinema. My language is getting bigger than just me talking about. The goonies. Anyway, let's go back to the boards. The worst Buddhist wrote about three fourths into the movie. These are my favorite ones to read by the way, people who don't finish the movie and start writing a comment or people don't even listen to the episode and already I need to get in here. I realized that most of you probably wouldn't know the name Paula Zaza apart from being just funny name. He is the John Williams of shitty. Canadian film scoring his credits include prom nights, my bloody Valentine Turk. One eighty two meatballs three and several of Bob Clark's most memorable films, including porkies baby genius. Ooh, baby. Jesus. I can't wait to see that and a Christmas story. So that is at least sort of legit. Yes. We did not talk about the score. Maybe we did talk about the score. But I'm glad to know that Paul Zaza is behind some of my favorite movies baby geniuses. I cannot wait to do in the show actually think we we actually have a guest who sat on baby genius requested it. And if we get that guessed it would be quite the endgame. Who could that be? All right, people, the working dead rights. I'm surprised to see that. No, one seems to have mentioned how nearly every character is given a last name in this film is named after a famous and infamous or not so famous director usually of the Harv righty. I did know that I didn't stay in the show because I felt like it would dead end. But I think this is the right place for us to talk about it. Yes. Vicki carpenter. John carpenter Kelly heck and louder which is Frank heck and Lodder the director of basket case and Franken Hooker, Monica waters, possibly John waters just Browning for tod Browning. The director of the original Bela Lugosi, Dracula's and freaks the scientists who gropes Vicki and class, Mr. craven west craven, Matthew Dante Joe Dante Eddie wood and wood and another teacher, Mr. abandon probably named for Dan O'Bannon screenwriter of alien and director of return of the living dead and a couple of other bit parts of named Mr. king, and Mr. Romero. So that is cool. A lot of thought put into characters last names nut so much put into. To the scripting of the film dangerman seventy seven goes, I wanna point out that when we first see Vicki looking in the mirror. She's wearing a cross then at the first dinner seen her awful boyfriend gives her the exact same thing is she collector of crucifixes or something. I mean, also in the second dinner scene how and why did Craig changes closed and get his haircut between leaving Vicki's house and getting to the dinner. These are all great questions. And I have a feeling they re edited that scene. There's no way she got to crosses. I have a feeling that they probably introduced a boyfriend then brought him had the dinner where they don't like the boyfriend. So you get you know, that's what I would have done introduced the boyfriend that I don't know. I mean, if she's a collective crucifixes kind of wants to that movies. I'd like a Roma Downey movie in the making right there are we're gonna go back to the phones. Here is someone who has a a correction emission. Hey, Paul quick, correct animation. Here you said during the pod that Ruxton character. Josh. Was the only common thread throughout all four from enemies. Actually, it was Franck sins and in general in the first one he played young knick. He played number two. And then father Colin in numbers or and Larry number three. Sorry. I was out of work. But just don't you want to buy? Hemorrhaging? I liked that it makes way more sense than what we thought which would be the same character. Who would make absolutely no sense? I appreciate that. Somebody actually said that they know this guy seems like a nice guy. So if you ever wants to call in we'd love to hear about his adventures and all the prom nights. Okay. Stuart got theory high Pau vicious Stewart, I gotta say I recently that Mary rapid showed. And I wanted to share theory with you about Philly. I think that the guy he shares that tender moment with in the bathroom is actually the principal of the school as well as his father. So I actually think that's why Mary Lou possesses. Vicky who is I think whenever her boyfriend's name is sign 'cause it's a way for Mary Lee to get back at very she's a girlfriend of the sign and everything else. What do you think my wrong? They maybe also who would you vote for for prom Queen Mary Lou, which you've over Vicky or Kelly or crazy eighty girl? Anyway, let me know what you think by Stewart you had me then you lost me. I liked the idea that this is kind of a. A grandfathered in system. Like, the principal has a son than bequeaths his principal nece to the sun, and it continues for generation to generation to generation. And now, Mary Lou might become the new principal of the school and rule with an iron fist. Who knows? I like this a lot where you lost me was why she possessed the sun. I that. Maybe I don't know. I don't know. But if what am I asking who would be the best prom Queen? I mean, obviously, Mary Lou is the best prom Queen. I would say she's my number one. I think Vicki's my number three. And I feel like the girl who died I forgot your name. She'll be my number two. All right Barrett. What he got? Hey, Paul this is Barrett for Minneapolis. And I just wanted to say was the stink bomb question. If it did use a us in the last episode from right to the ones that we have now early in two thousand ten I graduate high school. They did not need a fuse. You would just buy them at a stage there, they be little bottles that you would smash, and they would instantly put out the stink. Just thought I would tell you what was up now. And maybe things have changed, but come to Minneapolis love the show thing. Yeah. You're talking about Minneapolis stink bombs. We're talking about Katie instincts problems, bro. Okay. So it's a world of difference. You've seen the differences bacon. Right. Canadian bacon in American bacon. Same thing with stink bombs take that shit. Get the fuck outta here. Barrett. Cambric writes these back to the board. So they tell us about the license plate at the end. But I think there's a much more to it than a knowing wink that a Mary lou's powers are at work the car. They drive win is that a principal Nordom who accidentally killed Mary Lou promo those years ago. So in Billy gets his first car he also gets the custom plate of Mary Lou to as a tribute to his loss. Love I loved her officer. He tells the police so much that it didn't want to be without her. So I named my car after her okay, sells it in the police by it. But then the two other kids who know Mary was really like are still suspicious. So he keeps the license plate. Even when he gets a new car he transfers it's over then he brings it up parties they lost Mary Lou. But you'd better believe I'm not losing Mary Lou to as he tells people in pretends to cry a little people start to believe they really loved her. And maybe didn't know about her in discussions. He just keeps on selling it and selling it avenge, it university meets a girl and falls in love. She asked about the plates, and he goes into Saab alibi story, she falls for it and their son, it's conceived in the back of that car. This also explains its Titanic theme nightmare vision, eventually people stop questioning or caring, but principal Nordom gets lazy and never changes a license plate to something more normal that is his license plate and will always be his license plate. You know what I'm doing something? I've never done before you. I mean, come on. How can I even beat that? By we read this one these last two here. I hate the correct Shirley's, but total clips of the apart was filmed in the Holloway sanitarium in Surrey England. There's another connection between all four prom night movies. All four of them use the line. It's not who you go with its who takes you home. Very cool. I'm sorry. You had to watch all four to find that out. I don't think that Charlene was saying he took it was in the same spot. She was like it looks like it was inspired by the same spot. I don't think she was like that is it. All right. Another Email about Charlene's comment. Shirley's is absolutely right about how disgusting the boys room in the movie was I mean, this seems place in the fifties. But that restaurant looks like a greyhound bus terminal. Also did anyone else notice the old timey high up toilet tanks near the top of the ceiling in the stalls? How old is the school? This is a Canadian thing. I don't recall any of those toilets in the restrooms to schools. I went to great through through college. Having tang. Just pipes that went back back down the back of the toilet walls. And why are only Mary Lou in? Vicki receiving prom royalty coronations. Traditionally don't most if not all high schools crowning, prom king and Queen which is more of a progressive Canadian high ritual where the boys say are allowed to get away with murdering students, and then become the principle of the same school that their crimes occurred in while the girls, get tears and flame resistant sashes, I'd say it wasn't a flame resistant sash. Okay. I guess maybe it was that was a blast hard cheese. Good points. I think those high up toilets. Canadian thing. I don't know. I seen them before. I I think I went to one school that had high up toilet say. I don't think they were building those toilets that was a real building they shot there. So the buildings old deal with it blast. So Ryan says chimes in with a little bit more information about Brock Simpson. He goes I looked up brought Simpson's roles in all four films, and he's a different characteristic now. No and two of them died during their films, and I could see anything about him die in the third film. So I assumed he lived then I saw the only reason he's in all four that he's the producer, son. And that he only did a couple more films after the fourth prom night. They did continue the character of Mary Lou for the next film. But basically everything from this film outside of how she died, and the film is much more of a tongue in cheek parody of the series tongue in cheek parody. We were we have one movie that is not about Mary, Lou the horror film. No, we have another movie, which is insane in our doing a tongue in cheek parody. I don't think you earned that scary movie there. A million movies out at that bar anyway, tons of cheap parody. All right. So the fourth one really plays up the religious leaning by having the killer Bs psychotic priest whose killing horny teens and all these films, minus the I have some connection or take place and then to fifty seven and that same town so shit was going very wrong. They're also where does Kelly fall in the category of most unlikable role in horror films that have been covered by the show. She's easily in the top three for me alongside Judy from sue guede camp and Mia from vampire kademi in that there were zero redeeming qualities about her. She literally smiling at the fact that there's one less person competing for prom Queen after the pregnant girl is killed by the magical cloth, and that is some next level as Horry right there. We'll Ryan a valiant effort to get a win and at the end. But like, I told you we already gave the win out. Thank you for doing research about Brock Brock seemingly to be the most interesting person in this entire thing. But cambric, you blew my mind with your theory. I love it. I love the license plate, right? That movie. All right now, it is time to take a little break to your word from our sponsor in our sponsor today is this is actually great. I am a huge fan of this company. They're called green chef, and it is a USDA certified organic company that makes eating well, easy and affordable with plans to fit every kind of lifestyle. Here's the thing. I don't know if you're like me, but I love to cook. I hate the shop. Yeah. I'm a basic bitch. Anyway, here's how I avoid it. 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I love getting an a fun meal plan whenever I want because I can actually move around in this in other meal service plans, you get to options here, you can run the gamut you can keep on switching it up to whatever you want it to be. And here's the other thing all their ingredients are clean. I don't know. What technically that means? But I know that means it's good for yourself. When someone says you're putting clean stuff in. That means it's good. Okay. Because I actually feel great when like actually feel later after eating it. I. Eric amend this company because I actually believe that they are the healthiest version of this type of service on the market. They are premeasured perfectly proportioned and pretty much mostly prepped. I mean, that's what we want. Right. Just commu the things I'll put it in. I'll then I feel really good. It's like a, but the whole mentality behind a barbecue is the same idea. 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Thank you that is all from our sponsors. And now it is time for mailbag. Holy shit. We got a lot of stuff in here. I one this is actually amazing. Okay. This is from Kyle Kyle as right now his name is ketchup Kyle. He's currently a on month ten of twelve of a contract to drive the Oscar Mayer wiener mobile across the US he's been a huge fan for many years, and he wants they things because heads get made is made his ten hour plus dries very enjoyable while driving through I was enjoying Rodney dis dumpster fire as I listened to ladybugs. And he thought it was funny to hear that are whip was mentioned in that show. You know, what I actually saw your whip a couple months ago at south by south west? I walked by and looked at it was out my window. I had to go check it out. You have to go see the Weiner Bobio when you see it also during that drive Ed to pull over when the discussion of the opening scene of soup. Wade camp happen. I was crying at that moment, and it rendered the wiener mobile undrivable for a couple of minutes. He sent us. A Weiner OB our own winner mobile and it signed to us. It says even Rodney's like I don't care. I got nothing to tell you episode one Eighty-three. How did this get made up? Kyle. Thank you catch. Kyle. He said that some pictures of him in the van this is cool. You're having a good time. This is a good job to twelve months driving this fucker around the country. Even though you could sign up for that. There's a there's some inside pictures, we'll put this up on our Instagram page and sentence a bunch of many wiener mobiles. This is what a great gig. So they're keychains in here. And I don't know just a baby wiener mobile. Don't even know what you would do is such a thing. And oh my gosh. This is amazing. We have an honorary hotdog degree. From Oscar Mayer. We are the honorary hot dog do shore. Let it be frankly, set forth without baloney that on this day. How did this get made mustered the courage to salami? The Oscar Mayer wiener mobile and for this day on forever linked to those who. Oh, it's a whistle. That's what they are there. They're on her Harry. Oh, I don't want to put these in my mouth, what if this crazy? All right. You sucking on a hot dog. So anyway, we are catch-up Ryan. Kevin sheds Kyle. Thank you so much for the whistles. Thank you so much for the toys that is awesome. All right. What else we have an air? Oh, by the way. Yeah. I caught onto what happened last time from Michael bay. You know, we got this package. I thought that Michael bay was going to send us something. Nice. But you know, what he hid transformers DVD's in good movie packages. And now, I see that familiar rafting again, what am I what am I getting jet now, not even transformers revenge? The phone transformers revenge the fallen pose them in cases, this one not in the case just to kind of like how many have you sent me with Michael bay. Do really want us to do your film this bad? You really want us to get. It's boring. It the how long has it three hours a hundred and fifty minutes. No. Thank you. I like you tricks dirty tricks, though, keep up the good work there. Also harassing me online constantly like an optimistic prime account. Oh. More this more from Michael bay. Oh shit. It is this is a different package. What's in here? Michael Bay's handwriting. I used to take a picture of the Michael bay handwriting. You are my April fool for Sonos, inspect the packages, Paul. And while now the reveal these are all from the public library of Koga county in Parma, Ohio, their transformers revenge of their unopened. I don't even know how that got it re wrapped transformers. CD's damn you, by the way, Michael bay. Stationary just says all you need is love and a dog. All right. Put all this up on our Instagram. Oh, this is cool. We got trained woetzel's train whistles that said a lot of Wessels this week. How do you even do though? Is it a whistle. A bottle opener. Not a whistle bottle opener. Okay. So the bottle. I just put my lips on a bottle up on it. Of getting onto the vessel. These are personalized bottle openers e pretty cool there Jason Paul and June June says what's his mission mind says what's up dum Dums? And Jason says what's up jerks like that? That's cool. Thank you for those bottle, openers. I probably is a letter near tells me who that's from a thank you for it. If I find it. Okay. This. Oh my gosh. What are we getting into people? These are getting more and more obscure, this is a this looks like a letter that was typed on a typewriter. From Brian Mahoney. The type and pint to it's written geo storm all the top like, but all g you got to see it. I'm an artist and writer in L A frequently listened to get made while drawing and writing and closes a print of an excellent that was completed while listening to the episode for never too young to die. I've included it and a few other Princess well enjoy I'm on Instagram as the underscore, typing dot g TYP, I N underscore pint, keep up the awesome work for this. Well, these were really cool it, so it's basically these really cool drawings of Star Wars vehicles and some typing around it. It looks like he's writing like dialogue from Star Wars near. I like it very cool. And this is one of a bird, these are beautiful prints. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful artwork, the tiny pint appreciate we're gonna have a lot of stuff. But okay, whatever got here got this got our friend. Bobby Claes, Bobby Claes? Basically goes, you entertainment, entertain me. I want entertain you guys. This is basically his children's books. So we got the fiddler goes on strike the elephant that left the jelly out and the kenzees amazing force field while I'm always looking for books for the kids. So that's great love that. And what have we got next? Okay. Probably more wedding invitations. Oh, this one's for June. I'm going to open it because her husband L. So the those bottle openers from Wilson's woodwork shop, John w Wilson. Thank you. John and L corn Wisconsin that was lovely of you got here for June. I opened up all jeans males to make sure that nothing creek becomes in Macedon. Masseev, basically. Oh, oh, this is a nice one goes, you know, missing fan of your Larry because you're feminist. I have Myron what send you a piece of my project exposure therapy, easing nipple stickers that are fighting the oppression of the female body with a light hearted and inclusive resistance, so far the project has reached twelve countries I'm gonna give these June exposure therapies, always accepting a photo contributions to further diversify nipples. So this is cool. All right. I'm gonna I'm gonna show this June in these are nipple, these are cool, nipple stickers. Thank you, m Shapiro. I like that. What else we got here? All right. You made my fucking day. Dear Jason, Paul. This is a nice nice Email just to say thank you everybody in the show. Unit editor my letter was read on the prequel when next week to treat. This is so nice. Thank you note for being in the media percent. That's a lovely got this another wedding invitation as Joel and Katrina tied the knot one was at four fourteen. Do we miss it? We missed it. Okay. What do we got here? This is oh Henri Paul dober-. Te got a birth announcement born January ninth guys are getting a little we're getting a little behind on our mail. All right. Congratulations. All right. This is pretty amazing. All right. I've just opened up a box here. The box is sort of like seven ask. There's there's some drawings on it looks like stills from the movie a movie is called St. tunes during John Ritter. Pam d'abre? This movie is on our list is on our list. And I did not realize so basically the family get sucked into the TV. I'd like to recommend stay tuned for this podcast. I think it's pro choice. It's a distant family film. I look you sold me. I want to do this movie. Thank you for sending it to us in specially big box. So we'd definitely pay attention to it. Stay tuned. Thank you Josh Brown for that. What a great bunch of stuff. And I'm going to end on one of the coolest pieces that we've ever gotten on the show. This is amazing. It's a very long letter. All right. So basically what this person did? And it's amazing for unschooled the other show that I do the chase in June will never be allowed on we made this. Poster Scott, see who does this thing called great showdowns did a little funny drawing for every movie on the top one hundred list. And if you know, the movie, it has a little significance to it, etc. Etc. So this guy did one holy shit for all two hundred. How did this get made movies? It is absolutely beautiful its hand drawn. This is one of the most pretty things I've seen I want to frame this. I want to sell this nothing. But trouble does the hotdog blood sport. Just a bloody bandanna Davidson Miami connection. Just a a letter brats. The movie a garbage spill what have we got here? Top dog dog with a police badge. I mean, these are absolutely great. What an amazing amazing poster. I want to give credit to this artist because it. Is one of the cool things we've seen if I would love to make this. I'd love to sell this. We're looking for the boxer came in. We'll give you proper, thanks. But we're we'll definitely tag. You. Definitely check out social media because this is not to be missed this beautiful beautiful piece. And if we can't sell it, we'll give you cut, obviously. But I wanna I wanna frame I want to have it in my life. Thank you so much and that is mailbag. You know, what people mail bag with so long this week? I give you pick of the week. I mean, but there's so much stuff that have already told you the checkout longshot Mike comic book, I'm gonna just recommend. If you really are in a marvel fix right now. Go back and watch age of ultra it was the one that I didn't like the most I well, not the most. I mean, I just had issues with it at the time. And I went back and watch it after game. And I found it to be quite fulfilling. I feel like there's some great stuff in there that I didn't really the recognize on my I watch of it. And I think it sets in a lot of things in play from him gain. That's my one recommendation. I if you want to listen to music, Liz, oh, come on get on that. And and then finally what I'd recommend to you. All is beware of trampoline parks. I went there. I landed weird. I fucked up my hip, I'm walking around with a slight limp. It's not cool. If gone to physical therapy. Yeah. I thought it was a bad ass that day jumping from thing to thing. Running are in my hip was like no don't go there. Talk to somebody about it. The doctor's like, that's my number one accidents. Don't send your kids at trampoline parks. Don't you? Go to trampoline parks. Donnie, like just don't do it. And I'm like, you know, what that's it. My public service announcement this week is beware of trampoline parks. All right. We have amazing people that help us out with the show, April Halley is one of them. She is one person who's always picking are great films. She has a great I for all of this stuff. She does a YouTube series called movie bitches and each week. We task them with giving us a two minute review. So this week she is reviewing film that just came out on VOD called isn't it romantic with rebel Wilson's, a musical her Adam Devine, I think Chris has him sort of isn't it? I don't know. Probably not. I don't think he is a why did I just make that up? Why didn't even boldly say that he was in it no reason for it. He would have been on the poster. All right. Chris hemsworth. Not in it. We Liam I knew there was a have. But not a poster worthy Hemsworth. All right. Very go. Here is a two minute review of isn't it romantic? Starring one of them's worth. Gene movie pitches tonight, we're reviewing isn't it romantic, Idaho? That was oh, no. That was worse than Dick Van Dyke next in Mary Poppins. Repurpose the rebel Wilson rom com about a woman who has had injury. Get stuck in Iran com. These route galls their head injuries. It's just like, you know, we just gotta wait these women up on the head over to love me. Tons seem to be the case. Like, I feel pretty young men line. Yeah. Recently, yet, it's a like, you know, we got to put some magical realism in here because the world's bleak. Yeah. But turns out one I really liked this movie. Obviously, we're experts movie was made for us. It knew it was making fun of if she gets hit in the head. She's in the hospital on my God. Like, I'm in around what's going on? And they're like, oh, you're clothes were ruined. But we found you a lovely outfit in the last vowed in its Julia Roberts is full white suit with gloves matching person had from the is. That's what happens in a row is like, oh, I'm not gonna find anything that fits me in the last at that perfect. And it has matching accessories. I think. Yes. Of course, I love it too. Yeah. Yeah. Every the production designer of Neil. I wanna watch this again almost just into the detail look at the background Jeanine every John. And have all of those little bike share bikes, but they all basket than all the baskets are filled with daisies. It was just like a master work in parody will then of course, it's PG thirteen. So she gives to say her one buck and a lot of. They really got it. But everyone was along for the ride. They were out in front of they knew exactly and there was a lot of above line female, like backers producers all of the rebel Wilson was one of the producers. I think that really showed. I agree in the care and the details of the pair of animosity. Cheers. I really liked it. Well, that makes me want to watch it actually directed by one of my friends who I've never met, but Weaver Twitter friends, so I guess he's not a friend friend, but he's a Twitter friend Todd Strauss Schulkin who's actually directing a silent film is his next project, which is really cool. I love that. He's doing really interesting stuff. So I'm going to check that out. I hope you do to make sure you check us out on our Facebook page. Facebook dot com slash ATM on on Twitter, HDTV GM and on Instagram at ATT GM and also at our website, HDTV 'em, info dot com. That's where you'll find out the latest about where we're going on tour, but make sure you sign up for our mailing list. And we don't bombarded with emails, so just wait when you get it. You'll get it. It's mail chimp. They know how to do this stuff. Don't worry. No one's not getting it a big thank you to to Matt a real MVP this week who finally went to the PO box. That's the reason why we're getting a lot of this stuff late. Matt you did it you braved L A traffic to go down the. Block. And you're a real champion. That's like that guy in that rock climbing like free solo, but of the PO box world, Cody thank you to all your hard work for sifting through all this stuff. Putting the show together every single week Devon on the boards July in studio, July next to get you on the mic to hear some of your advice. And then thank you. I don't know everybody. We appreciate you listening and next week. We're talking about Shanghai surprise. You. Don't know what that is. Which I didn't know either you're going to be pretty deep pretty shocked. It's on voodoo for two ninety nine to ninety nine on voodoo. I had to sign up for a buck and voodoo account to watch this movie. So now, you have to thank everybody forgiving in presenting in our stuff. And if you want to send us stuff, please do at era of media LLC care of how did this get made pillbox sixty six fifty five fifty one Hollywood Boulevard Hollywood California nine zero zero two eight see next week Bye-bye. Hi, everyone. Scott all comment here. Host of comedy, bang bang. A little podcast that is celebrating its tenth anniversary. Wow. Ten years of comedy, bang bang. That is incredible. And we did something very very special for the tenth anniversary episode. The episode is ten hours long. That's right. Ten hours for ten years. Wow. Here interviews with CB favorites. Like, Jon Hamm, weird Al yankovic, Adam Scott, Chelsea Peretti, there'll there and wonderful people who've come through the doors like Lord, Andrew, Lloyd, Webber my nephew Todd, so many more. We also have guests ranging from our very first episode with Tom Lennon, and rob Hubel all the way to new favorites. Like rudimentary north and entreprenuer, so many great people. There's so many great guests on the episode. I think you're really going to enjoy it. Check it out on apple podcasts, Stitcher or wherever you listen.

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Episode 417 - 17 Again

We Hate Movies

1:51:27 hr | 2 years ago

Episode 417 - 17 Again

"This is a head gum podcast. Gang. This week's episode is technically brought to you from the road. That's right. And we're in the middle. We're we're literally in the middle of the street, right? No, no. We got to get a record off to put put that down. This is a prerecorded bumper. But we are in the middle of our east cage tour just played Boston last night. If you are downloading the day comes at which is of course, Tuesday, April the twenty third the fly DC right now. Right. I'll give you the flight information means at the gate with a gun. No. No, no, no, no, no with with a hug, a smile. You're gonna come out to the DC improv to night where we are talking about gone and sixty seven oh, yeah, we are the remake with nNcholas cage. Of course course. And then we're going to the great city of Philadelphia. Out national treasure on Wednesday. Oh, my Lord. And then Thursday, we're wrapping it up in New York City at the Gramercy theatre to talk about one of the most ridiculous movies in the history of the medium that is the wicker man remake how to record Neil the Butte starring Nicolas Cage. It's a real trash fire. And you are not gonna wanna miss that show. The bees knees, Neil B-movie. As the east gauge Stewart going on right now. Thanks for coming out last night. Boston WHM podcast dot com. Click on that tour button for ticket info DC we'll see tonight Philly night after that NYC the night after that. This week on the program. My God look at that haircut. It's seventeen again, I'm Andrew Jupiter. Stevenson, actress cabiner Cisco, and we hate movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to we hate movies. Thank you tuning in as always this week. That's right. It's seventeen again from two thousand nine directed by bursts ears which sounds like the name of someone who had direct pornogr- years. Like someone's ears exploded Burr, B U W B U double artist, not a person S T W E R S that like a ban though it open for iron and wine. And he's the man from it could be goes down. He's the man directed Beagles. That's any good. Not remember liking it at the time. And that was in two thousand two. Yes, back when we were seventeen again, exactly. So this movie, of course, is the Zach Ephron, Matthew Perry. It's not a body. Swap movie, you think it is. But it's not no it's a body time age move the age. I think that's a DA major which is what Robert deniro's getting in Netflix soon enough on the Irish, right? Just seventeen again, directed by mine Scorsese that I'd watch that's something. That's. Are you said oh, God at the top of the show and just want this title seventeen. Again, reminds me of eighteen again and gonna early. So with George Burns, like I'm usually by Shange, David Packer, ABC 'cause I wish we might grandson grandson. Share your body. Previous episode. That's the patriot archives bats way back. That's like like episode twenty or so. Under twenty okay. With me man as. Perverted episodes were just worse. Yeah. This is just an episode on. Yeah. We're we're talking. It's Matthew Perry and Zac Efron. And they're basically Matthew Perry is unhappy with his life. Correct. And take out everyone fucking asshole. What a dick. This guy is big asshole surprises got a friend in the world. Well, his one friend is played by Thomas who's like a millionaire computer nerd guy. Sure. That's could be Thomasson is your friend. You have no friends. Thomas Lennon portrayed. Karen, sure of his ilk. I'm sure Thomas Lennon is a cool dude to hang out with and they later reprise this with the couple. That's right, right. It's had three seasons which is respectable more than expected. Did why was this? Why did we allow so many of these friends character actors to keep going on like I understand right after like, right? When friends is going, you get them, and you pick them up, and you this. This is two thousand nine people give up on the Matthew Perry thing like Matthew Perry. I don't have a problem with what's on friends. And that I liked he had a stand. Cervix shit. You remember that movie servicing Serre with him? And Elizabeth Hurley, I didn't see it. But I like his. His service. With something the porno parody way. She telling me, you wanna make a porno parody of a Matt shoe Perry film. Nobody sore. All right. I'm looking at the box. This isn't even the top two hundred, sir. All right. So you're gonna make a porno parody of Ed with Matt Hewlett blank. And you don't want a monkey in the movie or you want the monkey the fucker. Andrew, what do you like Matthew Perry from well, I've been trying to fuck and say it for five minutes trying to guess it. But you haven't seen any of his movies because you're so fucking stupid. You can't guess it. Which one was it. I he had a television show on ABC called like, Mr. sunshine or something where you ever he had a lot of television. Did he absolutely did everything he did a school just like came as a comedic actor that was a television show? I believe it was ham. Allison Janney was on. It was like the owner or a manager of a professional baseball team kind of thing. So it was like it all took place in the stadium sort of a deal. I liked the pilot of studio sixty on the sunset. It's good shit to be mined from that that Mr. sunshine is the ladder seasons of coach when he gets national. He gets promoted at the end of that year. Two seasons of him. Like being in the big leagues really mansion team. Yeah. Coach ask your grandparents coach Craig t. Yeah. Whatever the they canceled that the new version before it even aired right? That's right. New coach was reboot. 'cause creek Tina was involved was it was like Murphy Brown situation. Whereas kid was there, and I think he was like the older coach, and he was going to be in it and the prime time lineup wasn't saying put me in coach. Got to be cancelled. Right. We must have been done with that. I have no idea. We watched the first episode, and it was great because Chelsea and I were both like, okay, we'll continue with that. And never did. Yeah. That's absolutely never did. So we start in the nineteen eighties. Nineteen eighty nine. Oh, yeah. Do great year we opened in high school some kind of high school, and it's it's the night of the big game. And Jim gaffe again is there. He's the Roach. Right. And he goes up disaster that guy front, by the way, I think in in these scenes he needs an eighty circa we need to give him like. Yeah. Just give him this shaggy dog haircut. Like, no eight if eighties of five at boost in that motherfucker know, you you've just mistaken, don't, you know, it's does act Afrin real doll as doing have. You looked at these apps. He looks fake. I don't know how you get apps. Like that does he look like and you wanna fuck it. Nobody cabins right though. I thought like this opening thing is he's like warming up for the game where he. Shirt off this evening. And Chris, I think you're right. Like they have a shot of him. And I was like that head looks fake body. Could be could. I mean, he's cut. Now, we also bad grandpa, dirty grandpa, whatever that grandpa, and then he's a null. Those of fraternity rising movies. I think just the second one Rory rising a three it's trilogy fraternity rising fraternity takes over the world. I I thought that first movie was like fine. Serviceable enough big-box comedy is actually called neighbors neighboring. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Wanna make sure I wasn't missing a frat trills. Trying to pitch his new trilogy fraternity rising. It's Trump's America. Think about tell shifting really saying something. So he's like warming up and it's the big game. And there's a a scout in the in the audience, right? A scuffle Siracusa believe that's correct, and Mike whatever Mike Dexter, Donald Michael Donal can get a full ride playing basketball. Even though he's five foot six at. I don't get. A basketball player in those high school musical movies with like that's fine for high school. But no one in college is gonna let this kid sniffer bench alone going to college doing also by the whole idea that Zecha fron like if you do the time math now. Yeah. Like in ten years is gonna look like Matthew Perry. He's two feet taller that Zach that. I don't get. When did you get a growth spurt and also what did his face get longer? Yeah. The hit the berries faces just eared. Got a little bit of a pencil head. Dude, man, used the eraser. Let's get him out of this movie. And when did he just start eating pure butter for breakfast? I'll leave him alone. Here's what you do. You slice up butter. You put it on your your your cornflakes like banana. Well, no, what you do is you you put a bunch of butter in a bowl, you microwave it, and then you just drink. What's that? Protein shake. What's it kind of coffee that you can get where butter it? There's proof. I think it's bulletproof. Yes. I had that when I was in Austin a few weeks. I fucking loved it. Really? It was tasty, man. I gotta tell ya. Well coffee with fat. So it's like, you know, this is the big game. You know, you can't fuck this up. And then all of a sudden his buddy shows up who's dressed like a Gandalf wizard or DND, something or other manager Merlin the girl. The Lee clever. It's I've ever heard perfectly fine for juvenile high school boys, right because it fits because he's wearing a wizard's robe, which is interpreted as dress. Right. Right. Well, even I think gaff against got somebody like, hey, what are you wearing a dress? Can you get Boy George Addy here? Yeah. You don't get to. Berlin. The girl was a team. Well, yeah, that's coming from grown as Jim. Jim. So yes. So they're gonna take this team photo and Ephron is like, hey, we gotta wait for my buddy the equipment manager. And so yeah, the nerd walks in kind of a good gag here. The second the photograph is taken he gets fuck in total wedgie. That's the photo that they used team. It might shock everyone in this room. But I've never received a wedge e really really oh, wow. Ever been wedge guy. Got one either. Oh, I've been wedged up against your will not putting up assignments as free wedge. Could be like a kissing booth five cents tear my with a buddy. Like, hey, give be a wedgie. I'll give you like being my brother like your your best with each other. And I've I've received and given wedges. Okay. So with the brothers one thing, but it wasn't like street toughs or no nobody fucked. Nobody hung you from a flagpole, somebody insulted macgyver. So did anybody here get swirly? No, I think that's entertainment own. That's a pop culture. It's a lot of work to per to perpetrate a swirly. You know, it also like you've really got to have complete physical control over this person like resist. It's not gonna work. Yeah. Absolutely. Not well feels like that's a team boat bullying effort. Okay. What I mean? Like, that's just not a one person bullying another person. It's like you gotta get biff. Three D Phillies. Aim the other guy you get the arms. Okay. We got lower. Make sure your flush the toilet at the same time. You know, what give up your? You're told your foot at that point is just like I mean, here's the thing though. Who knows right right into the mailbag wheel hate movies gmaiLcom, if you have been or have given us wurley IRL, if you if you did give swirly you should probably find that person to apologize. It's enough time has passed. Yeah. Also that the only good thing that Facebook is for any sorry. Message the guy taking the reds with by the way, multiple bullies on Facebook. Oh, good for you all at once that bullied you over. Sure. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You get request that you want to be the bigger person. You're like great. Yeah, audit. Remember that at all? Oh, yeah. We did go to school together. I heard you were dead. You should start seeking out like new bullies like bullet contemporary bullies like high school bullies now start recruiting like have your Facebook friends list, just tire fully list. Nothing but bully believe book. That'd be great. If you could get on my God here. This is your this is a teen movie. We could make now bully book. Right. And then you can like get all those bullies. An army of bullies to do your bidding. Nice. You like bring them bring them into jobs, and it's just suicide squad. It's an army of bullies. What are you guys? Some kind of bully book. I think. I don't know just not the book bully book. It's clean either. I feel like they could have expanded on this gag a little more. But did you guys catch like the photographer taking this team photo? Yeah. He's kind of like a weirdo like creep photographer. And I was like I want more of that guy. I kind of feel like this movie is cut to ribbons. There are scenes that just end immediately or like little. Yeah. People that look like they're probably side characters that don't have anything. Not even like. Yeah. They. They. That might be part of also took me way too long to realize that Thomas Lennon was supposed to be Merlin the girl. Really? Yeah. Wow. So he's a. We do the pre game cheerleading routine. Zac Efron does some sick dance moves. He dancing. He's a story. It's nice to hear some young MC. I'll give it that. I gotta tell you. I like Zach Ephron, and I think he's a talented dancer. I think he's dancing very talented Lii in this move fine presence. I've never had reason to like anything. It's kind of that. Well, wisher thing. I hope he does. Well, like, I don't even know if is that a Bundy movie even gonna come out or what Netflix may third or something this is going to drop their. Yeah. Yeah. It'll come out. Netflix won't tell anybody then everybody will mmediately forget about it. I know harmony current as persona non grata at the Sadek house, but he is great in the beach. I like the thing is I don't know about this Bundy movie because I I've never seen any of the Zach Ephron like romance movie. What's that movie where like his dead brother comes back, or at least then cloud also directed by birth ears? Oh is that right? This. I've never seen any of the dramas. But I think he's a really funny actor he's got great comedic timing as much as fucking bad. Grandpa's? Terrible dirty dirty. Johnny Knoxville, dirty grandpa. He's funny in that. Have you seen any of his television work Denise start like like wasn't. He like in a Disney musical book at them. Movies shows three old. So he was only a movie star. Well, those are like TV movies like kinda thing. None of those were released the I'm sure someone third one. I forget it started as a Disney channel like look at the pretty kids TV show, it it was that. But it was TV movies. Do Roker pretty cute. Cuties. The Disney Rangers ride Gosling, and are you afraid of the dark? Thanks. Thanks. Gonna see here and drink my warm milk. A little wish I could've sworn he was from like a nickel loads. Loads. Look it up. He's good. The hairspray movie greatest. Showman is terrible. But it's not his fault. I mean, I just I'm just the point made his I like him. That's fine. That's fine. Don't make fun of his friend. I had a real reason to. With second run. That would probably be a buddy with that guy for sure, but he brigade he so like he's about to start game the tip the tip off and a right before the tip off is girlfriends there, and like, it's right? If the picture is, okay, cool, and egos, Tom Lennon, who's like notoriously single going to be a virgin for at least another decade. Yeah, grabs oh, man. Who's that incredibly hot chick? Oh, that's my girlfriend, and he kinda walk. Dick a little bit of a dick move. And he goes up to her. And she's like, and she does here's the thing. You have big news. Someone's got a sporting event or a live performance. They have to do that's very important to them. And it is super big news. You fake the funk? And then afterwards, you tell them to leave knowing you don't do the thing. I've gotta talk to you later. We'll then what the fuck overdoing. No, definitely not definitely not Stephen also, you make sure you enter that gymnasium after the game has started because they haven't started yet. And he sees her. And he's like, oh, I still a second go over and say, I yeah. No, no, no, no, you wait till you hear sneakers squeak in and ball's bouncing this is a special situation because he does keep on coming back and be like, no, no, no, I really need to know it gives them prisoner. And this is a an extension of my when you need to extricate yourself from a sexual encounter. I have to take a shit. Okay. I just took a loud ships, and I was. Made fun of on the way out. I'm sorry. I'm just off. That's. That's what is upsetting. You someone made fun of me for taking? Extremely vocal shit. Allowed shit. The other girls started throwing toilet paper over the real thing. Zach Ephron I just took his shit that was extremely wicked shockingly evil in vials. So if he walks out of this one game, that's it for his his scholarship chances like scouts don't fuck around like that. If you're not going to perform when they're they're I mean, they're not they're, you know, isn't there has these five six I'll guess I'll go all the way to see this fucking kid. That's five six exactly prepared a Welby kid. I heard rumors that he sinks every fucking bucket that puts up you know, what I mean? And it's like if he can do that. Then sure this tiny little kid can complain for Syracuse, by the way for listeners who don't know. Syracuse university is a college in the state of New York, and has a massively successful, very big very financially. Thicke basketball, Carmelo Anthony winter. That's right. There's not a lot of Mugsy out there. No, you not everybody can be mugs e books. Yeah. Exactly. Imagine Carmelo Anthony and Zaka front playing on the same college. And I'm doing the thing. My hands were ones way up here ones down there. You should see this this. You should see what Steve is doing hands that you should. So she's wherever I heard that before she's like, oh, it's just it's nothing. And again like she's having a day. She's going through something. I totally get it totally. But it's nothing you injure your basketball. I hope I know it's a big game. Go do it. Go joy it. And then like he's he tries to do it. He starts to do it. And she leaves because she's so distraught because of the new she has right way inside of her. And he's it will fuck I gotta just you know, he chucks the ball. And he follows her out, Jim gaffer, man pack packets. That's totally right, right. He screams hot. Well, she tells him first of all he doesn't fall. I he goes back. Tell me tell me tell me she does tell him. You're right. But we don't don't hear it at one of those moves, and that's not something you could drop on anybody. He basically she's pregnant, and as you if you're watching the movie, you know, this immediately. It's telegraph does my wife pointed out because she's just walking towards the bench like holding Tommy. My tummy international movie son for knocked up. My tummy is not or I just took allowed schist motion. You can go right through it collateral damage in this tummy is ridiculous. Shitty. That you know that new taco area that open I tried. It don't go. Okay. Don't go. That's a shockingly evil in vile shape. Just don't get any of the car needs. Tell you that. So he goes, and he could fronts and this is kind of important because it's a mirrored at the end there. Spoiler alert. Right. They go in the hallway and had this really sensitive conversation. Where is the best in the world? And we're gonna do it. He like kinda grabs her. They have a nice moment was like, we're gonna make this thing. And it's gonna be great. And then we cut immediately to seventeen years later or it's nine hundred eighty nine in president. Because this is a problem twenty years. But then dude, it says present day that means it's twenty nine hundred twenty nineteen therefore says present day, it's twenty nine point the daughter that they have when they're teenagers is now herself a high school senior played by Michelle Trachtenberg says you should be seventeen or eighteen years old, right? Therefore, it can't be twenty years. It can't be now even in two thousand and nine to two seven maybe she like just stayed into long. Oh pregnant for like two years. What if they lost the kid, and then they had a? Another. Never even meant. That's the bad editing. You were talking. Forty minutes out of the movie about the biscuit. Because I would also mean that Har Har Matthew Perry, and what's her face, Leslie, man or supposed to be thirty four in this movie. Whatever you say screenplay. Well, they did they say thirty thirty seven thirty seven seventy eight that math doesn't work. Yeah. That's true. Because of the age of the outer that math does not work. How do you fuck that up, by the way, she should be in college then or or something else or maybe you just make a different movie? I kind of totally agree with I have so many different movies to make about this movie bully book is right there book is right there right there. So you wakes up he's in eastern with Tom Leonard. He's been kicked out of much dot couples kicked out of his apartment. Right. And they are eating Compton crunch cereal. It is right in the foreground this shot the whole time when you want to start your day with your mouth feeling incredibly weird. Let's have some captain crunch, of course. Because it's all that mealy corn shit, cutting up your gums, man, you're on a bloody mouth, captain cry troublesome Syria. I like captain crunch is best consumed when you're too high to notice the camping. The bleeding. Yes. Exactly. It's just your mouth feels raw afterwards. Tough sucking on rocks. Grape nuts. Okay. Grape nuts is good. I won't have despaired. Grape nuts. You gotta soak them in the milk a little bit guys. Trust a serial that comes in the same kind of boxes of milk carton. That's fucked up. Well, you know, it's a smaller box. It's not a milk carton. You might be thinking of different. Oh, one of them. They're just grain cereals. Yeah. Eople cereal. Free pebbles cocoa pebbles, I'm a regular pet. Honey nut Cheerios ban. Sometimes they'll do Cheerios and cereal in like six years. No one line today. Really really don't haven't had cereal. Six years where you've been dead still really have cereal. I only have like when I'm like in a hotel. Cereal. Tear really? Well today was raising brand. Okay. When you stepped out of your condo at fucking del Boca vista a big supporter of raising brand cluster and non versions. Grape nuts like the open. I do like the stuff that Andrew has a distaste for this kind of trail mix e it's trail mix, which is fine. I love trail mix. But it's trail mix masquerading as cereal, which is a real problem. If you if you fucking liar serial if it comes in a box, and you could put milk on it. It is serial. Okay. Fair enough. I guess they're they're having captain crunch frosted flakes here hunting if you. Curious to if you're luxuriance, and you you know, you want to just throw caution to win maybe some fruit. Loops you know, have like the sugary stuff. I don't I don't really touch us much, but I did have some maple Cheerios. It was good news. I'm a big Wheaties person weeds gets a little sloppy towards the end. Yeah. Yeah. Go flick, your there's like a bowl of milk with a toupee gonna be sports star. Actually, I will I will lead the fat Olympics. Couple of variety. Do actually we're we're promoting the fed Olympics that we're taking it for Special Olympics right van taking the Libyan's. We'd take him to the White House in was Shelvin down bean burritos. Windies no more quarter mile, run quarter mile Pounder. I will say that Honey bunches of oats and the varieties that good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This has been the serial chat. I've been trying to keep it going to push the serial talk people love it totally. I think that might be a patriot bonus. That podcast is. So you really oh fucking. Oh, it's a murder here. Here. There's. Was about that bergenthal trail mix cereal that got lost beyond the wall. Yes. Other like that. I never finished it. But I think that's how that season then the fucking Taliban-like returned are serial. It was really nice. You didn't expect that? And that's what makes it interesting mail. Isn't a cute male Kemp. There's a lady on there in the earlier seasons. There was a lady on there that would do a male chimp read, but you male can't mail Kim. I thought it was a little child. Full grown lady. That's stupid. So Matt Matthew Perry, walls and met you. Brought it also could have been in this twenty years earlier knocked up my weight. What's that say girl? All right. I got a high school girlfriend. Yeah. Matthew, I I would very much prefer Broderick over Perry. Hundred percent. He's got to fucking gravitas. Yeah. We'll like win though any old time. He's got that Broadway. Or how about have him play got that Broadway? This movie nineteen Eighty-nine like wargames era. And you have Matthew Broderick plays Zach Ephron get like, I don't know who who would be a good. I heard multiple thing. I said Richard credit for no reason, I said Robert mitchum for less than. Robert was the correct. Fuck of I will say project does get a heads up because he doesn't think he's the king of the fucking world for no reason. Whereas Matthew berry always has to act like the snarky est fucker ever. She's a piece of shit. So he's in this move in this via and most roles he played also very also the one replays called, Matthew Perry's. So he's he's like, hey, man. Thanks so much for letting me state your place, and then as gas sorry that she threw a twenty x amount of years of this marriage question, Mark. Here's exactly and how do you fuck that up? I don't know. And it's like, oh today's the day of the big promotion because the beginning of the movie in someone's going to go for the big, and what is such boilerplate? Like, here's the big promotion. He's had all the signs leading up to this big promotion at the business land works. It's just so he's working in the pharmaceutical industry to that's about his like early odds. Like business issue man's? You make it this promotion because you hooked so many people on opioids. This. It's this big fat business meeting. And it's weird. Because it's this young guy is boss, and he's like telling them about this. New viagra? Kind of thing Viagra jokes. Does those are five years prior? It's a weird dudes. Like what if we were started telling people that having erection that lasted for longer than four hours wasn't a problem that there's some Kevin Fedor line jokes later. Oh, dude. I couldn't believe it. And he's in this boardroom. It's this guy and every other woman every other person the table is a young attractive woman. And that's what's going on here. Right. And he's like, well, I wanna give on townhouse. Dude. This guy's ready to get radicalized on the internet. He looks. And he's like, well, I wanna give our big promotion to Mike O'Donnell. Could you move, please? I wanna give it to Wendy, wait, that's a really unprofessional move. What of could bad joke? The all the old. Can you get out of the way I can give it to the person you're blocking my view Twenty-three-year-old girl? She screaming got the promotion like she's shown to be quote, unquote, very stupid. You know what I mean? But he's mad at her. And it's like this. I mean is also mad at the quote, unquote, boss, but like how did this guy get this position related to someone and he was installed like you should all your hatred should be at this young boss. Not your female. Exactly. We're all just fighting for table scraps. Dude. That's corporate America is well, and they cut around exactly what happens because he does. He I goes up against the young guy, crushes bluetooth thing. Yeah. And then he's just like has his shit rate. Fire. Did he get fired or did he quit, then I'll tell you. I think that's terrific. That's a little bit of a cut scene. Just like clearly like something else happened or whatever. And it's like, yeah. And like he's an elevator with all these women, and they're like, we're TGI Fridays. I guarantee you they shot a Jerry Maguire spoof seen. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. They were like this isn't playing anymore. Nobody remembers this movie was thirteen years ago. I think that the problem is not what who is this movie four. It's Ron heads aggrieved white men. I would say, no, yeah. Horny people. Also that people who knew second front from highschool music. What the fuck are you talking that? Wanna fuck Zach Ephron people who are mopey like Matthew pair that wanna be were ACA from guarantee new those guys did not go see this movie, a movie geared towards people who try to both ways Tomlin and Matt Perry like yours jeans to get Tom Lennon isn't filling anybody movie ticket. But how many? Right. There's a raido in my no rhino. None one is what they have on Bocek horse. Yes. Yes. So he's fired. He goes at some point he meets Leslie, man to sort of talk to her to see what's going on man is playing the older version of his high school girlfriend scarlet or scar scar which is weird catch what she thought she was named after the Ceylon ship that was sentient could fight better than the other silent. I remember scar. I was use as oh, man. I was thinking about after the lion. King ending new to me. Well, it's important though after this like job quitting or firing. He doesn't go to her weirder because okay. I just lost my job of I think he says he's been working there fifteen years because other beef with this woman getting the that she's supposed have been working there, two months. Well, and she he leaves these. I've hated you all who's coming with me of bitter guys leaving thank fucking God to hear about this. To hear about this fucking high school basketball. But this is that's the biggest loser move though. He gets fired or whatever leaves this job. He first goes to his old high school, man. Oh, man. I don't I want a rolls up. Yeah. How's he just getting in here? Guest pets is a parent of children that's tone, go to school. Let's go to the same school kids. Just hang out do actually you're right. So he must be there picking him up because the next scene. He's taking is screen. But this is where he encounters. I think it must be a Star Trek. God being. Yes. Played by Brian Doyle Murray. Witty's janitor. Amazing. I love Brian Doyle Murray. Oh him around me at all times. Young or old. I'll take Caddyshack version. I'll take this. Or why not? God being I would like it to be Brian Doyle Murray. He's just like your life. Didn't work out the way thought it would. It's three pounds of veal. You don't have an iconic brother. I've had it worse. You piece of shit. I mean, I've been making a lot of money, and I'm in a lot of good movies. But that's Bill fucking Murray. I gotta go home to avenue commercial where I do arap. It's it's no as arcade. He might be the best celebrity, brother. I'll sell. Yeah. There was a draft draft today met deal and. There's Jim Belushi the Baldwin's you can keep the higher. Brewed. Yeah. I'm sure he's a nice guy. I'm going to say, no to Liam Hemsworth. Yeah. No. Yeah. My first pick would be Brian Bill Murray. Then I'm gonna do dark horse candidates. Joe estevez? Oh nice. Yeah. That's good. Call. I feel like what the Hemsworth it's the thing where like you knock on the door back in Australia. You know, and you're like I can Liam come out to play. And can Chris come out to play Chris you'll one Chris and and Liam answers the door, and he says, no mate. But I'm free and you go. That's okay. Your brother from Westworld here right at the other one, right? I would I would take him over Liam. Then you got culkin's to contend with Kokin might be up there. All right. I look, obviously, if you're drafting a team you wanna you wanna get in stock now because Brian door Brian Doyle Murray stock we'll see that lasts boy Kevin lives in a bubble. Kevin Farley always picked last. Absolute says man, the brother bowl, I really want the brother draft to be a real thing. We do it. We can that happen. We could absolutely do. I have really I just I think that you're right with the Brian Doyle Murray the best one. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong audience. I think you put Joe as stove as little high chart. Yes. But that just illustrates the draw. Well, this is the question now is who is the brother, Charlie or milio? This because milio is as a person more success as a human being Charlie Sheen has the more money and the bigger move. Yeah. You could do I think that you could split up and say either one I think that's a car wildcard doing. Okay. I'll take a million though. I think it'd be safer bet in that situation. Yes. One starting free Mighty Ducks movies and another one did not news. That is also young. You're right guns. So Brian Doyle Murray act didn't work out the way you thought by the way, he's dressed like Steve's Z. Sue right now. Got the white beard. If it was read it'd be calling foul. In any event. So he's like, well, you know, is it. Well. Like puts a little scene is headed like maybe someday. I'll be magic see you later. And then we meet his two kids. One's Michelle Trachtenberg sh-. She's the older daughter. She's a senior. And then there's the younger son. Who is maybe the freshmen who was made out of gas. Nothing. This kid is absolutely. He's nothing. He's got a really bad haircut. I mean, like it's carrying dumb and dumber practically. Yeah. I'll just about if he had a big gap in his teeth, it'd be right there. And like, you know, his dad is like, hey, man. You're gonna you're popular right? Yeah. Popular. You get asked ball team. You're popular you're fucking everyone. Young. You are me I'm living through you. Because I abandoned my life to have you. I mean, that's the whole thing is just like I'm living through my kids because I think high school is the best time in your life. And I've never had a good moment in like five minutes. He's about to tell his ex wife. Well, I married you didn't because that's what happens they go out to lunch for the ice cream. We find a weird you're at an ice cream parlor with two teenagers want that. I want to do like Michelle Trachtenberg is very much like because he does the whole like you used to love coming here. And she's like, yeah. When I was a child eighteen years old right now, it's a famous sitcom thing they do this all the time where it's like, oh, we're going to go to the discoveries. Aw. Because that's where you went when you were to. I mean, this is all sitcom writing anyway. So he's like, yeah. Blah, blah. He drops off the kids and he's meeting, Leslie. Man who's like working on the yard. And he's like what are you doing out here too precious yards? What you never would do because you are always literally bitter in my face all of the time. What are you talking about this this bench project? You were going to do you said you started it? And then he said if I went to college I could afford to hire someone to finish. It was weird. Which is a weird mood. It's a weird thing to say what he's there's like a barbecue. That's 'unfinished Homer Simpson style frustrated with the bricklaying it just. It just like apparently that's mazing about this movie is like she doesn't. She doesn't leave him because he's cheating on her or is abusive or he's like an alcoholic seats kind of abusive. Yes. Exactly. But the reason is he's just a fucking drag like literally you are such a drag on this family with your sour fucking puss. I am leaving you right? He's pissed off. They wasn't being praised constantly. Yes. Well, this is what happens man, these like hot shot high school athlete burnout. Yeah. When they lose the big game or whatever. Sure they sour. And sometimes they gotta find somebody to blame. And in this instance, he's wrongfully blaming the person he knocked up. Fucked up good. So now, there's a monsoon and boring driving and he sees Brian dome. About a joke. Frit it's a wonderful life. Yeah. He's clarence. And Matthew Perry is Jimmy Stewart. I forget was there a flushing toilet in the river in. It's a wonderful life. What are we doing with this world fan theory, Brian domer- because he is magical and he's a janitor? Poseidon Horlick powers. He's big tried it here. I command this Shelvin. All right toilet power. Okay. This a little heavy here. Get two hands on. It. We go we go all my. Shredded ruin my back, the tried. It is three plungers one. She I taped it together. Here looks pretty shop. I think. And like he he jumps. And he's oh what he looks. And he sees this this spinning fucking vortex a river, very, strain and sucks him in. Because he flushed his life down. Oh, yeah. Like both of those jokes. We have bad CGI of him going in there. It's fucking horrible. You just throw him in a pool stuntman to jumping and water afford, some stunts. Sure. Okay. Okay. I mean, you got Zack Ephron money. You can do this. You got some Zeca front money. You got Leslie man Mani. You got Star Wars money coming up. We're licensing all sorts of stuff later on. So he jumps in. And you you don't see what happens you just see this guy. And now a two big suit walking around. Right. And he takes a shower in his suit, and it's Ephron again. Right. Because he's seventeen turns out seventeen again, he was seventeen at one point. And now he's seventeen I was expecting it to him to wake up nine hundred eighty nine and he could relive his life or whatever make the decisions, and then you could see that and the same way or something or learn a lesson better movie because that's clear idea of like, oh my gosh. Now, I'm seventeen again. And like, I all have to do is Neg this lady. And I won't get a pregnant enough to worry about it. But he falls in love with her. Anyway. About. But would he seriously you go back in time? And do you think he's such a bad person that he would be like, you don't really do? I'm going to prevent the birth of my children. Yes, they ruined his life. But the point that he would erase them from existence. Well, I would do it. We know you would do it too. We know we should be called seventeen now. Apocalypse? Now, redone because he's just seventeen in two thousand nine. Yes. So a much shittier time to be seventeen. Yes. But like what what is this movie 'cause he ends up going to his high school and instead of to relive the glory days always wanted to he's just parenting his fucking kids as a seventeen year olds go time for this. We should be called undercover dad. You wakes up and like Tomlin is there. And like there is such a long scene of like Tomlin and freaking out. Yes. He has an intruder in his house. We were watching this the other night. And we thought the same thing it is this should be like a ha it's you from heist like this takes between five to seven minutes their stunt choreography Thomas Lennon has to almost be heads zek. Ron and why is this lunatic with all these goddamn weapons in his house? Yes, quite seen. No less than two kicks to the nuts, by the way. And like, it's fine. Like, that's the funny gaggy get these. But again, it's a two minute gag. It's like, yeah. Do your Chris. He's trying to kill this ample stabs him once with a sore. He's standing his ground. Well, his house goddamn seen take. So fucking long these because he's got so many swords or whatever dork is and we get lightsabres. We get quotes from the. Movie weapon from a more civilized time and elegant weapon, Eric I knew you probably disappointed by this. But there is no dick look. He doesn't check his dick. Well, I soon what happened was you cut seventeen year old dick feed. It looked a lot like this one. I think. Little fitter. You weren't shaving your Bush into a hardback. Yeah. That's the only difference. Well, the things I think Chris was jewelry down there about. About. Listen, listen, we cut it right after he did do the dick check a thorough inspection. I sure probably squirted went off. Well, how we start already in progress. Thirty seven year old but thirty seven year old Matthew Perry. I think he's not getting heart for anything. Oh, well, sure. I mean, the hard on whatever that's a that's a turgid fuck in just callous, dick. Dick. That's just disappointed at the world. Guppy at the bottom of a stream dick been working construction for. A grey dick one I love about when he's like in the shower, and this whole fights, you know, whatever because of the dip shit like mop top. He's got and the fact that the suit doesn't fit him, right? He looks exactly like Tommy Wease in the room. Oh, he kind of does. So fucking funny. So it's just a head. Hey, I'm in the salt fight now. It's so awesome. It looks exactly like come on Tomlin. And you chicken. To remove. The Star Wars now tearing me a pots. Better movie. Actually, it's it's anyone that turns Tommy's oh bodies. What movie? Oh, Jesus Christ. I'd kill myself. I wanna know like how Zac Efron slowly becomes Tommy wise that coming vaguely European weirder. And weird looking more like a caveman wearing sunglasses. He keeps finding these leather suit jackets. I don't want a wear it. I'll look another wallet chain to starts living like an Estonian game. Defensely turns into that. Why do you want to? It's a high school student. Play football. Do you have Mr Smith? This is such a better movies backwards hat on. Yeah. A high school. Hey. You to what I think I got a remake of Encino man with timing wise. Oh, the cave. Oh my God. Yes. Absolutely sign me up elegant the party alcohol. So he finally is. Oh, my God, you are micro high school 'cause he lives at a picture is what that's exactly yeah. And they sit down, and this is one of those things really fucking Tomlin. Magic exists in the world. Like, Matt there is a universe where in this can happen. They don't care and play video game talking about God, the practically like this. This is a supernatural as it gets like if I woke up one morning doorbell rang open, and Steve, and it was you looking like you did when we met in two thousand two. Yeah, I'm clearing my schedule. We gotta talk about this. What led up to this? What's going on now? And what do we do to reverse this? What crimes do we perpetrate? Where are you? Sure. You're Steve way. Let me see your dick. Say fuck, dude. But this is like he's got all these like comic books fucking fantasy novels on the table. Oh, maybe where you're exposed to gamma radiation. There was a thing about like, we have you ever. Have you ever been a nor Scott vampire or cyborg? Yeah. I kinda like that bed. It was a pretty funny. He's he's no no one knows. Well, if your vampire, if you're a cyber you would want if you're a vampire, you wouldn't tell. See I'd have more patients for this research seen if I didn't have to watch the ten minute fight scene for no reason. But also the problem with Tom win in this movie is he's a big bang theory style nerd, which is a catchall nerve. It was kind of hate which is like be specific is an ELO TR head or is this jar wars guy. Yes. Some people do both. But very rarely are the as into all of it like as hard cores. All this is you don't speak Elvis end have like thousand dollar Star Wars replicas and have fucking mobile comic stuff. Also. It's just too much a lot. Time. There's none of time to be that much of a nerd, but that's the thing. That stinks of being a rich nerd like what you just don't you have so much fucking money. And you don't know where to put you just buy all this shit with the money now because because just like all this money, I'll just fame interest in something some lunatics, it is on your a hack Kokand writer writing a comedy, I want character. Let me Google nerd, oh they like Star Wars. Oh, they like fuck Lord of the rings. Oh, they like vampire Star Trek is absent from this interesting, which is what what if we wrote part of the forty year old version except for he doesn't have to grow up at all. And they just put it in this movie too. Yep. Sure. That's the same thing. Why not? So what they land on is. It's a spirit guide situation, Brian Brian Doyle Murray is a spirit guide for him. And similarly sitting at a cloud ridding and his not even close. 'cause you everyone know what the fuck this guy is he's Mr. missile plaque at this point my name backwards. Oh, no. I had to go back to the fifth dimension. So by the way, we goes to school what seventeen again. Yup. Ed hardy talk about at heart. And it's a joke. Right. Isn't Joe, thankfully, I wasn't sure at first because I think the model for that company is Ed hardy when you wanna look like a fucking dish bag when you look somebody that puts Cologne on their dick. You know what I mean? Like, you fades, it not just a spray like and Lascher drip ball dip. Well before this happened. One of your biggest pet peeves happens. Oh, yes. Yes, hamas. Leonard is at his gaming console. This Kenny Loggins, even though he just found out magic exists in the fucking world. And then he said he's like I'm never going back to school. Nope. Never never ever never ever. Oh, I can't believe you're talk. This. Yeah. That's also it's an obnoxious nerd thing here, right? When he gives that little puts his foot down. He's doing the playing multiple video games at once. I have all these concepts. It's just the demo screen going by not playing anything and another thing that super nerds. Like, he's apparently the huge tech guy. When does he have time for all this nerd shit? Retired is like a he sold accompanies Sean Napster so ill defined on fanning the shower banning, whatever goes, but that's he says like I've made a an app you can download music illegally with and I made the the app that like takes that away. Oh weird. I'd miss that detail these Jillian air, and he's just kind of sitting around being lazy? So like, he pretends to be dad, and like he like Photoshop all these pictures of him in the high school, and including playing soccer. And what Chelsea pointed out? I didn't hear this detail from this case so far. But apparently, that's what Laurie Laughlin did with her daughter. Ella routine? Photoshop Photoshop pictures. Aman? I'd do you think? Listen. I bet you they saw this movie. Do you think that seventeen against she was like say like she was waiting for her piece of shit thing to come unfree form when this plane beforehand, and she was like, oh, maybe I could do that for my stupid daughter? I think that's not impossible. I think it's the most obvious answer. Too hard time. I'll Lord I hope so no, no not at all. Anything? It's going to be some weird decision would be like, oh, actually, we're going to give her money. Now, we're always the government are just going to give her money because that's how this planet works. What if it's thing? We're both her in Felicity Huffman are sentenced to work on a fun, and then the bound together, and they have to run into the hill country this movie bound. The movie fled where they're both handcuffs together, which was fled. That's a Stephen Baldwin a inferior brother and Laurence Fishburne prime. Oh, I don't think I ever saw all aren't they also like the which aren't they literally attention or? No, no, they're just in love with each other bound by the heart. Yeah. Love is derived from the defiant ones. Tony curtis. Right. So I think they might be tied up. I think Chris Maloney might might get them who in in bound Crispell Onis main villain. He's the bad guy that move. Yeah. No, Joe Pantoliano. No. There's also Chris it's been a while clearly for me. I remember them being handcuff. What happened is a celebrity brother came along. Derek Maloney, and he turned to shit Derek baloney to Chris Maloney turned into Joey pants, your Joey again, again, eight seventy Joe Pantoliano that Joe peddling on who turns back in his ACA fron eight they look a little more like each other than height at least. Yeah. Dude, swayed like he got to go back to New Jersey in the sixties. Finally, I could use that word again. He's in was a risky business. And he's. I isn't he is he the bad guy. He's like the movie Eddie and the cruisers who've is he a cruiser. I think he's like the crooked manage I've never seen the movie. Fuck moving. Yeah. It's a fun. Yes. So he the the the principal. There is jammed from the office played by Murah harden. I believe a harden. Yeah. And like Tomlin's instantly smitten with her he also like does himself up like he's got like the come into the school. He's got like frosted tips. He's also dress like an asshole holid- peacocking in this film, peacock later later thing. Yeah. But like this time he's just said him just being a douche. This isn't being dish bag. Zaka you'll Klay Aken right now. That's a joke. That is a joke. And then yes, and they're like, why are you wearing all Ed heart as well? I saw Kevin Fedor line wearing this. And that sounds right. And girls like looks like k fed of what what are, you know, Kevin light his seventeen year old girl. It makes sense for Matthew Perry acting that like something Kevin fetter line. Did was cool. But like Diddy young people everything Kevin Fedor line was cool that doesn't make any. No, I don't think. So also that would that woman of like the little trio of mean girls that walks by she's on the good plan. Yeah. She's incredibly funny on that show. She's the other Chris when Kristen bell. She's the one who she replaced. She's the other. What is Eleanor Eleanor? Yeah. Yeah. So reluctant reluctantly. Jan from the office Moore heart Moore Hardin lets him in because he's a straight a student yada yada, yada. I just don't understand how like you're not looking at any official documentation. What is any of this again? How do you register for school and then associate yes, social security number and he his to go to college. That's only going to get harder. Exactly. That's the end game for this is like dude, you gotta die on deadman's curve, buddy. Second question. His plan initials. Oh, cook to relive my life. Again. Do you wanna be my dad, and like Tomlin is like well, you did stop me from being bullied a lot in high school? So I guess I'm your dad forever. Now is he gonna take them to college? Even if it's a full basketball scholarship. Someone's gotta pay for books like where is this money while he's got on unlimited funds so much so that they takes him out to get new clothes, which also includes a luxury car of an Audie. Yes, I guess he's rich, but how fucking and rich. Are you a none of this matters? It's he's rich enough that in order to get a date with Moore harden. He offers to buy every student in his high school, and I. Had a laptop actually. Oh my God. Pardon me, fat laptop. I fucking line. Moore harden is he shakes her hand says our hands made a baby I guess if you heard that from someone I don't care if they bought you a planet. I'm thinking you just put dry come in my hand very much xactly. What I'm thinking quick question. Yes. If I was fifteen Chris. And I came to you in a fifteen again. Would you be my dad forever that we're ju- the fuck out to do it? No, do I have money or no money. You got a lot of money. I'm fine. Then dad to it. What a scam. It will be fine with say, yes. But then when you're sleeping, I'll take a pillow out for your head. I do it for like a week. It'd be like always do. I'd be like Steve. What is the endgame here? Stipulation. I'd have to see your dick. I make sure you true. It looks the same. My dick is like Paul Rudd. You know, what it's seventeen thirty six eighth different. Wow. That's a beautiful. This isn't good opening episode of Steve's dick the podcast. What kind of mail him look? Feeding that. Anyway. At the bottom of the bowl that are all these. He isn't that a dick sling reading Weiner student, but like come on people say we need to look at my weenie. Nobody fucking said seven years, I just got back from careers. Look at my weedy. Hey, what cell what he'll fried my weenie in Korea. Old veteran talk. Sure, right. Old veteran podcast, dick. You'll have old veteran dog. No, they're gonna get my weedy drawers. So Zac Efron or Matthew Perry technically, MRs this divorce meeting with Leslie man, it turns out that even with cool clothes on a cool car? He's still a bullied nerd a little bit as the new kid in the school. He goes into the bathroom and finds his own son taped to a toilet. Yes. Duct tape, which reminded me of the funniest part of the breakfast club. Which is when like it's the real emotional part. We're all sitting around the breakfast club. And right. You know, Allie Sheedy's talking about her rotten life. You know, what do you call it there? Molly ringwald, like, you know, I hate myself, my mom, hates me, etc. Fucking Judd Nelson. Like my dad puts fucking cigarettes out on me. Then fucking Eddie Michael halls. I brought a gun to school to fucking kill myself. And then Millie west of balls to hate mmg man ahead to take this kids together. These story about how kids as together, but he talks about his buns. So much work buttons is us, and you have to imagine what that kid had to his dad the fucking humility Asian. I saw his weenie. So we had a little bit of an it's a wonderful life raff. Now, we get into one of a couple back to the future. References here. There's a lunchroom scene where he's he gets his son off the can, you know, and he's like all right? Well, now, I'm going to be friends with my son. He says that he is Thomas Thomas Lennon's character because he knows the family like, I'm whatever's bastards on the know about her. Bastard this to the lot. It's so funny because it keeps on saying he's neds bastard. Oh, really, Jon snow. Stocks pestered who's having lunch with this kid, and then the bully from the basketball and stand the bully older boy from weeds. Oh, yeah. Yeah. With hunter Parrish. That guy's name. So there is a very similar scene of win Marty. And biff showdown in the lunchroom, except it's like Zach FRANZ like fucking dress in this dude down a little too cleverly in and also gets you guessed it, a little homophobic, because it's just like, you know, there's only one or three reasons you'd wanna fight me. One is your agay guy in the closet. Insecure. Little girl bagging on the closet door. That's what he says. Oh, there it is that, but then he's like, oh or you're too stupid or your ding-dong is smaller whatever's weenie, and he's doing this while it is it's sack Ephron doing some cool basketball like finger spinning which apparently was not a special effect. He's no definitely not. And when he does the little weeny he fucking flips that basketball and gets on his pinky. And I was like, wow. This kid's Easter. This is what any like mature father when he's given the other chance to go back to the young. What you do is you pick on young children. That's what it's very good thing. Seven teen again. But he still Matthew Perry underneath all. I'm sorry shit. There's something that comes up here that Leslie men calls him because like he's missing the divorce court. Yes. Oh my God. This is so fucking fucking wildest thing. I've ever seen my life the background some girl asks while he's on the phone with those wife. If you're okay with dating a tenth grader. The lawyers always get full custody funny line. Well, also, the thing is he's like she he missed a fucking divorce hearing like that's why he gets the phone call in the middle school. He's like oh shit. Let's reschedule interesting up. Yeah. There's no like oh. Okay. Don't the by. He's he's with the Incas in Peru. He had to go out of the country or something it such bulls better better movie. If there's an idol involve don't Brian Doyle Murray, let's kind of vice versa route. Yup. And it was funny because I had seen this movie before I remember, none of it particular g out situation. Sure. But I watch it the other night, and I'm like, all right? So what is it is an idol's? Get struck by lightning was shaken hands. Awkward more shifted some countries as an idol people worship me for my role in Christmas vacation. Do you think you know, how like you hear stories about anytime? George went goes into a bar. It doesn't have to pay for beer. How often do you think? Brian. Doyle Murray is getting jelly of the month club just gives them a little jar jelly. Well, I'll tell you from Caddyshack. He's definitely getting a free balls. Is also getting free pounds of veal's. What Scrooge what he plays Bill Murray's father in the flashbacks that it's like he go I got up that for Chris busy drops down big bag butchered. It's three pounds of veal. A bad. I would think too. You put into freeze will be fine. When you're twenty. So yeah, he's he's like he realizes now that this this psycho bully recalling psycho for some reason Cyclo tattoo on his next the psycho. Well, and is dating his beloved baby daughter, Michelle Trachtenberg. Dates and he's not into it. But he's very into his son fucking mature. That's weird dichotomy. He's just like. He's a son get your different, Honey, no way, you know, what? I mean. That's the whole movie kind of is. But it's just it's sexual goalie. Or sexual traffic coordinator the thing as a parent. You can see like this dude is no good short Dan's. No good. Dan is no good. He's just no good. The boy has innocent crush on the cheerleader. I get it. It's creepy that he's playing sexual manipulator here. But at least it's not like, there's absolutely nothing wrong with STAN. And Jan he'll being an adult. But this is like what American society teaches about sexuality is that you have to like boys will be boys. You've broken. And girls have to be like the Virgin, Mary even we're like how can. Even we're like how can this game of rope? We play this -ociety. And I would I would only point out. It's we only don't know anything about Christina the cheerleader because they don't write anything. He's not a Carol sandy. It's just a piece of shit Kerr barrage. This kid is. Stan is fucking living Williams ABC o'cl crip note, basically. Yeah. Absolutely. You wish case can hold Williams app because lunchbox then like the fucking the sexuality stuff is. So because he's he tells his daughter at some point like in Afghanistan, she'd be dragged to stress. That's so weird. One real weird one. I'm gonna stand up for that one weird one. We'll just this weird thing where it's like, I don't even know what the content. Doing X they drag out through the street, by your hair. Like a total right guy in this high school because he's just like, hey, yeah. Absence is cool. And he's doing all this like that's the weird part. So yeah, I I oh my God. He's the hawk guy in school, all the girls. Go nuts over he's addressed like Tom Cruise school and looks exactly like Tom Cruise. I said the same thing and intentional. All these girls are going nuts. So they have this health class Margaret show. Let's see her in a movie. Yeah. Totally. She was on the mass singer actually way. She's singing shoes. I forget what character really was the hawk. Forget was it better than my singing on our YouTube channel. Well, would I I did as mask singing thing for Stephen our YouTube channel, I I will use a clip from right now. It was actually pretty critically acclaimed. Okay. In any of us got above fifty percent around two. So she's their health teacher, and it's like it's sex day. And she's like, look, it's always sex, Dane. Here's all these condoms. You know, that's how the state runs it. You know? What? Everyone. He goes, everyone take a con. And then stand takes a big handful of you need dish because you're fucked. I believe the line after taking this copious amount of content with the need. He's basically he says this'll do for this weekend. Oh, man. It's like seeing Cooper acquitting junior in New Orleans. I know that man. Zaka fronts, like no, I'm not taking account, but he gives big impassioned speech about like, how don't you want someone to make love to you larage, dude? And. All the girls all in for it. Throwing their is like yes, this guy's just now is the gross Christian. Yes. Take us Christian kid horse because it's like when you're holding your baby daughter, I'm like fuck, and why doesn't he have some line about you could feel her heart to this crisis? Should do you? Remember what you did in high school where seventeen again, we living your fucking store. Do you? Remember what happened with us seventeen? That's the bullshit thing. Eric is days. Okay. For me to fuck. But if any other person fucks it's wrong because they're younger than me. Well, yes, that is what they added toot is. But they make a point. There's a scene where he's eating all this fucking junk food because of that apple isn't is sandwiched back back at high levels. So he's just fucking putting and it makes sense. It's actually a good scene because your body is back at that stage. And you would eat like that. But he's not horny at all. That's the weird thing. But said warning this about that sandwich seen I didn't need like that. And I was still fat. You know what I mean fund that kid? Sandwich. And I don't wanna hear just slowly about metabolism. Whereas the we. Yeah. Toad the fucking that's a weed sandwich. That's a shaggy from Scooby doo exactly that saying which is one of two scenarios either you're fucking highest balls or you're pregnant, but imagine being in health class, and it's doing kind of jokes, whatever. And then some kid some little weenies. Maybe he's good looking. Maybe he's no, it's we ne-. We Nuss gets up on newer wieners back and career they blew his brains all over the Pacific. He's included in. Wow. We need a war. Got a wall. We wore. Oh, yeah. We go to prank on the we took his drawers wants to put up the flagpole salute that skid, Mark we said, yeah, we took there's one little weeny back, and w when he was little tiny boy from Brooklyn we injected him with his Jupiter soldiers open. I was the captain America over je story, but exit real kiddo. Do remember as we can killed them. And blamed it on the enemy. Welcome back to VFW here sheen casualties of war as you net with Leany. What was the podcast called the veterans toll though? I forget whatever it is someone like, wow, we need worn for is actually probably better. But like little kids, we need we need to the bad together and have abstinence. This kid would be a pariah in second absolute guy that talked me out of getting lay Christian kids the bibles at this kid who would be brutal. Probably would. So at some point he goes over to his his former residence sure pretending to be friends with his own question. Yes. Does have a job. She must starting. Lance yard lands. Matthew Perry ruined his life and inquisition marks by having a kid now and getting this job that he hates. But somehow this is enough to pay for this enormous Mansion House, they have with this fucking yard this Cedo, man. Scientists aren't graduate high school in nineteen eighty nine. You could do I guess that's what it is actually true gen-x fall backwards and crippling student loan debt. So that Yep. Yeah. Okay. No. It's actually totally plausible. I know, and it just it immediately starts with like this movie. The weird thing about this movie that weird problem with lesbians character is that Zach Ephron is doing a really bad job at hiding that. He's Matthew Paris. And she's like, wait a minute. Nah. Like the second time of super obvious shit. Like, she'd be like, okay. So you're my husband and clearly you've been shrunk down. Somehow. How did this happen what she's not even making a phone call to I know she hates Ned, but not even a phone call to get your fucking kids out here and trying to fuck me constantly. She hate him yet. They're a whole point that none of them like talking to Ned. That's how they excuse not fucking checking on their pin zipping incident a couple of summers ago. It was a troll right at the poed house walked in on the shower took five minutes to leave. But man is like oh, wow. You look a lot like my husband did in high school now. It'd be like oh fuck I because again, memory, changes, etc. But like if I saw again, if I saw any of you fuckers for fifteen years ago. Oh fuck. That's exactly what happened something. Hang. That's fucking shitty. Looking kid close? Steve. Whatever. Right. Yeah. Like who cares? But by the way, this scene like she's grabbed his face and. I would say she comes. She comes onto him for a little bit history fence because Nicole Miller is the other woman in this is she from Reno nine one cul Sullivan, and you. She was on TV. Okay. She's doing I think the same exact character from king of the hill. Not king of the hill. King of queens. Yes. Queenie Lisa Ridha, the friend. Is it the same little remedy the revenue mom, but her friend, isn't that her Nicole and never seen the second of that show. I tell you in any event the colts. The colts sort of character. Not really she's you gotta get out there and fuck, and she's like do I and then like she gets drunk. Yeah. This touch this face and then like Zach ephrons movement. Here's like, I'm good ingratiate myself with his family. I'm going to help her with the lawn because he's helping the the one kid TRAN for basketball. She psychotically starting his daughter to protect virginity, and he is trying to. Hey, can I help you with the lawn? Mrs whatever the fucker name is she? Well, I guess you can still O'Donnell dress. Mrs O'Donnell MRIs, well, actually, she's going back to her maiden name, which is whatever the fuck. Mrs whatever, MS whatever the fuck. She's yeah. Basically this into the paper boy, and she pees on them at one. That was weird. It was weird. And she was like, listen, it's for the lawn. And then and then all of a sudden toddler is tied up spreadeagled a hotel room. What the fuck? I mean Lee Daniels seventeen again is. That movie's a wild ride still never seen it. I just being it's yeah. It's kind of worth watching once. I feel coal Kidman's doing the ping. Yes. Yes. On Zach effort. I haven't seen it either. Do we see a stream? No, no, the no direct. There's UP she pees on a, but it is sort of. It's a sexy sort of thing. But I just always thought that it was like they were in the bedroom. And it was like water sports. Definitely see some jobs coming down there. They don't cut away for. But like nobody's getting a gold medal in water sports. Well, at least drops the. That times in so K. It's like it'd be minus Eric just fast forward to the part where Pete. I watched road house plants, let's put for the fading seeds. And the paper boy for the PC people for the jellyfish. There's a weird thing around here. You'll notice this. And it's just like it's weird because I guess movie has take place in two thousand nine because we do have like an early first gen iphone. Yeah. But we also have a lot of bad flip phone videos. My theory about this that it's put up by big cellphone trying. It's an advertisement for the idea of self. You're right because it cell phones of all kinds of close ups in this movie. It happens twice at one point. This is a fight that he gets with STAN in the middle of school. And guess stand beat the shit out of him kick, and then everyone films it, and then this idea, and it's hilarious. Look at all these fucking Grady s phone it's so funny. Oh, man. Let's send these video literally text message each other these videos all we could do with them though. I I already saw it on YouTube. Okay. You too was just a mere two years old. How do you like that? But so we get sent to the principal office because of this fight in allows Tom Lennon to come back, and this Eric is when he's peacocking he's dressed like a disco cowboy he looks ridiculous. He's enough. Some pickup artists. And this is when this get cut because he's she's like are you trying to peacock means, maybe? And then like like, you don't even you know that that was a six minutes seen. Yep. That this whole sub story with the two of them. Yeah. Is absolutely unnecessary. It's totally useless. And you can see it coming a mile away. Like, you know that at the end. She's I turned to my wife. She's going to be hurt. She's going to be a he engineer, and it would have been fine. If it was just like like, he says, he does throw a line and Elvis and she returns it, and you just know you're going to date you have to see their whole fucking thing date, and then a second date and in bed. Yeah. In land speeder bed, by the way. Oh, yeah. Peter bed. Pretty cool. Jealous. Horrific window into if I did not get married. That Darth Vader coffee mug. I thought you might be in that one could pull off. Just keep it at work where no one can see. Or vice versa to keep it here in your house. We have a big long montage of helping helping train the basketball kid, he's helping with the the yard maintenance and everything she turns over this yard pretty fast. You oh my God. It's crazy. It's like a property brothers where there is a fucking moat in this backyard. Fucking sick. It's amazing. I couldn't believe it. This is the kinda shit where I'm seeing it. And I'm like see if I could be guaranteed. I'd have that. Yeah. I'd wanna like own a home. But I also want to do anything to achieve that. Yeah. Work on the lawn s few and we work on the lawn as view, and we'd but there's a really awkward thing after she shows him the lawn and whatnot. They're like doing some flirtatious stuff here Leslie man's like kind of falling for literally the person she fell for their dancing learning. How to dance it? Yeah. And the doorbell rings, and she's like, oh, I have a date, and it's like, I don't know this actor's name, but he's just like a schlumpy guy. And I lot of thing either in like a dating scenario like this or like, he's maybe like the fourth guy in like a CSI kind of office. And this is Leslie fuck, and man, you know, what? I mean, this dude should be carved marble. Yeah. So this dude like comes to pick her up and fucking sack Ephron douchebag ler. This oh, you're going out with his douche bag again. Like and the joke is like she's like the guy's like well. Yeah. That happens. You know? She's he's just protective his, oh, that's my son. That's why son's friend is kind of weird. I get the fuck Eddie your kid, totally kind of funny. I'm actually half douchebag on my father. Got a good. I kid. Stay here. And fuck me, your house friend. Not not not a has. She does even sort of like immediately. When he even says L, let me help you with the lawn work. She's like, you know, look, I know you guys are into the cougar hunting or whatever the hell, right. That's not gonna happen here. And he's oh what for extra credit could use it on college applications? I dunno. Yeah. Job experience. I wanna be a lawn person. Not the reason I land part is up to recently. This person was your nephew. Yeah. Like that never really comes into. Not related. It's a friend uncool situation. If it's Matthew Perry's fucking brother, they were married. Uncle ned. No, he's has. Like, it's like if I had a stupid, baby. And I brought you over it was like, look, it's crews. Yeah, they're no they're not brothers. Oh, okay. Now, this is just something people do. We're all family befriends. This is the party scene where STAN picks up a Michelle Trachtenberg role in by the way. What are we talking two thousand is my question is this a joke? I think yes, I think it's supposed to be like look at this asshole still lint roll in on ironically it, but it still doesn't know cookie by the nookie excuse me. But still doesn't make any sense. It would make such Matthew Perry was listening to fucking nookie. Isn't this the weirdest soundtrack in the world yelich spoon? And then limpest weird. So then they go to this party, which took me way too long to understand was at a bowling alley. But it's a bowling alley. But this other shit, go get rock and roll bowling alleys. But like, well, it's like those places we have like bowl more Lynn's. Now, where it's like, it's an entertainment complex where in the majority of the property is taken up by a bowling alley. Can do other call that what to expensive for bolan? Yeah. It's how much person. Yeah. I don't think. So I don't think so. And you know, what here's the other thing bowling shouldn't ever ever be fancy. It should never be luxuriant should never be fancy. It should never be hip. It's fucking bowling. And it's awesome. Just the way it is everything should smell like forty year old cigarettes. There's warm beer at a bar. Having a great time. You can ever shaking everywhere to live show. A wieners veteran. Joe whatever who died in career, you know. Would you like to go sexy bowling after this normal? Well, you would do. Wow. The live podcast of how at bowling l. Exactly regular bowling. Yeah. And you do a lot of crowd work. Forget you were you were host to get in even like Steve call that rock and roll bowling other places like midnight bowling where it's like, we're turning the lights off the music changes. There's black light pain everywhere. Even that was a little too much for me, man. I'm a tried and true like lebowski like like kingpin like those kind of bowling alley depictions. Absolutely. You shouldn't be able to get a MARTINI. Yeah. While you're you're absolutely right. And you see those posters for bowl more. And it's like come have luxuriance time only fifty dollars a person, and it's three drink minimum. And there's a live DJ. Fuck you. So that's just bowling alley. They're they're a big part somebody's birthday or something. Yes. And the basically he's trying to find his he's a trying to get it. Literally, Matthew Perry. Is trying to get his son laid and his daughter, not laid right? So that's one lay one no way. One cock and one cock block. So he's trying to get the sun with the other girl, and he's looking for Michelle, Michelle Trachtenberg, and these three women just. Does does well to be like shut the shit down immediately because it'd be weird if you FOX anybody as a seventeen year old shore, and the movie knows that it's because these girls and they're like aggressively sexual ready to go. It's not just like, oh, you're cute. Let's get a let's go to I wanna fuck you right now. And then there was no I wanna fuck. You know, I want to fuck the rain. It's my birthday. I get to fuck him. Yeah. And you know, kids are grown up so fast these days crazy. I mean, one second learning to ride a bike the next second fucking swank balling learned to ride ultra them much. And he's war. There's a good bit of physical comedy here. Or the sun's trying to talk to the girl that he likes. Yeah. Accidentally sets his pants on fire and this kids do some good physical comedy about it. Like, he does the like he's going to just walk away really fast gag. I was laughing at that. And see because at least if he had wanted to like have sex with the the teenagers like blend in he has to repress it. Mark movie. Could have been. No be thirteen again. It was Larry Clark seventeen against a little old for Larry. Instead of that. You get like you have to respect your. So like give me a fucking break. Just get out of there. And then again, oh fuck I forgot Christian kid. What was what was they even thinking fucking wasting my time. And like, basically, he Bob, blah, blah. He walks Michelle Trachtenberg, he does there's a big blowout right here. They have a huge argument. And she rightfully is. Like who the fuck are you what is going? Yeah. Don't try to intervene in my sex life situation, because she's like she's doing the whole like oh, yes. Stan. Like, he's my forever guy. She says they're going to move into gather after they graduate skip college. He Matthew Perry is aware that she has been accepted to Georgetown. And this is I guess California. And she's like, you know, and so stands going to fuck off. And do whatever I'm going to go to whatever community college around here. We're gonna move into gather that sort of he's on the Home Depot track to be a manager at Home Depot. That's right. It's also that's also weird. Like, we're just shitting on honest work. Exactly what he's totally bothered me. Of course. Because that's the joke. Oh, these people these people in the servant class. Yeah. And we're the fucking building our lawn class of people or whatever the fuck in this bowling. News that we'd think I think someone may have had to call the ambulance here. There's all these nerds locked in the trophy K. This was so weird. And they're like sexualizing them as women humiliation. Yeah. This is what the even noticed. They're like they're. On their head. Where is the manager of this bowling jocks or like yelling at them, very homoerotic? There's no teachers also in that scene when Zack Parker show with Zakar front is dressing down that kid in the lunchroom. He's bouncing a basketball and yelling at this kid. You can't basketball in the lunchroom. Hey, we're stricklin. Just the bullying, whatever. But you're not basketball my lunch. This movie could use like forty percent more Jim gaffe again authority figure. Totally right. Yeah. Different. Use these situation. And the whatever and the coach something so whatever we're at the big game. Yes. As big game. The sun has also made the basketball team at this. And basically it's like the ba- the game ends its play for STAN he takes the three in the corner. But as ACA fron throws it to his son his son makes it now. He's a big basketball hero. Yes. All this commotion. Everyone's like oh shit. This is exciting Zac Efron like later like the next day, or whatever they're all still high on the thing, and he just yells out in the middle school victory party at my house and all schools like yeah. Got it. We'll see there. Yeah. What's your address had? This is this is one big cell phone comes in again. Deep tape big party at bikes TST type, I think I think deep texted MAC the day Tepe Tepe. Texting you Mike. Tending good text message about the big party at my losing, my keyboard it from teen nine. Doing twit tweet tweet. We video chat the sippy skull. This guy. Did it today? Oh, I love it. Yes. So it's like my wife noticed one of the cell phones. Just like the address the to Texas is just as everybody. Yes. Okay. Selva because also concurrently this is when Tomlin and funding gets date with Moore hard, right? It's just like it's one of those things where like he just something ridiculous. And he offered by the school, laptops, just fucking go on one stupid date with you. You're aggressively wearing me down what we do in movies. Yeah. Since it worked so just keep on harassing at this point. She as somebody who walks her to her car and ever Thomas, Lennon's eggs. Oh my God. He's. It's under the guise of a pity date or whatever when they finally get there is when the Elvis comes out, and they realized they have this common interest, and this this she's a super nerd as well, she's like Star Wars this. She's fucking Elvis. Halo comes up sick. Oh, wow. How'd you get Hilla? When the download pack doesn't come out until Thursday. Not everybody. Not every I happen to let comic books Eric likes fucking game of thrones. And we both kind of overlap a little bit here. But it's not all the same. I love Star Trek. I don't give a shit about halo. Exactly. It doesn't work that way that dinner scene is so obnoxious though, because this is like the movie has told you there's about to be like a big party. That's pretty much end the movie. Sure, and you're like, oh, cool. Here we go movie the big party, and the movie has to stop to do this date scene where Thomas Lennon is taking two minutes on a gag about tasting wine. All my Lord is this all unnecessary. You give that guy a room for a gag. He is going to make that gag. It's just insane. And I like him a lie to think he's incredibly funny. These characters are not needed in this. At all. And I mean, I guess the point of it is like oh sister away they can have the party at their house. So let's look at their date. I don't give a shit look at the party. I know he's out of the house. That's all it doesn't matter. Thomas Lennon should have as much screen time in this movie as Matthew Perry does which is to say not a ton though. They. At the party, the the the sun hooks up with this girl. And he's yeah. Way to go while Leslie man's also watching by the way because she shows up, but Michelle Trachtenberg earlier in the day breaks up with STAN because he wants to have sex with her. No, no, no, no stand have sex with her. She says, no and stand dumpster, exactly. And like Matthew or ACA doing backflips about it? And then at this point she and he gives her again, this really sensitive speech about wanting to somebody you love, etc. Etc. And that's what she starts to fall in love with him. Yes. A little back to the future you here. Yeah. When he gets knocked out by something because there's another fight at the party got stand. Again, punches the shit out of him, and he wakes up, and this is exactly back to the future sewers. Yeah. Caressing? Yes. And he's like, oh, I dreamt. I was back in nineteen eighty nine seventeen and blah, blah, blah. It's like why didn't you also just have like, well, you're back now in good old two thousand nine really do if you're going to do that like whole hog hit well drained, your balls three times? Like, he can't escape. He he sorry you had sex with your daughter. Seventeen. Again. That's what you do. What happened? This is what you want. Brought it to very turns into a monkey's paw. There is not enough of him like appearing in class reflections or something. Got it. Right. That's why you wanted to go back to high school. That's how you could tell it was daughter. She's got a Boehner. Utah emissions you're from God. Goes through the griot Doyle Murray. Don't don't say. So my name in the inside of an old desk say backwards. I go back to. So he realizes that she has his head in her lap. And she's like leaning over him. There's a cleavage. Joe's jury a- and he gets up and he's like, no we can't make out. There's a weird like another two second thing. She's like, oh, you're confused. Oh, and he's like, no, I'm not gay. That's what I love is. You're you're in this position where your daughter's sexually attracted to you and good way to put fucking water on gay. You can't even even for for want of that he can't even be perceived as gay in this elaborate ruse anyway. Yes. Because she goes and this make any sense because we just got over the fact that like she doesn't wanna have sex yet. Yes. And like, she's I'm a lion in Europe Zelma where the fuck did this come from. Yes, she. Well, that's so fucking of noxious about the writing here. She changes into a completely different per sex pot cartoon art tune. And it's like now now, wait a second. That's like, it's just it's bad. It's so obviously terrible. And then like, oh, no, I'm not. I'm not definitely not gay. But I've been in love with the same girl forever for since. I was seventeen and she's like, okay. Blah, blah, blah. This is when he meets with Leslie man, he tries to kiss her. She slaps him in the face. Yeah. Michelle Trachtenberg spots in the face. Well, it's a funny like she's saying like Michelle Trachtenberg is like there with a couple of friends. Whatever. And she's like, well, he said that she's he's been into another girl or I don't know who that girl could be and then like the whole group of them look up and see the making our, and she's like mom, none of that comes to anything should've slaps his face. And then like everybody slaps him. And then Tomlin Moore hardened show up. They kick everybody out and there's a gag Tomlin. It slaps him in the face a couple times. Yeah. It's pretty funny, by the way, guess what? You this house is full of relics and memorabilia and probably loose cash. This guy is everyone stealing for this guy's house. Bunch of little high school kids. They got sticky. Sure. Everything like, all this collectibles wars. Helmets and stuff that you put in a lot of beer bottles in things only to be found months later. Once the smell has struck action comics number one. Speed. I mean, the racer bed has got to be destroyed. Somebody fucked on that I see that bad. I'm fucking. Sort of down the last act of movie his divorce proceeding is the next day. And he goes with Tomlin in and like he does this thing like the divorce proceedings going to without him. Because he's been given ample time to show up a letter here for Leslie, man. Told me not to open. It took two thousand nine the boys back down to the office. Whether or not you'd beer at this court proceeding. You get Joe Flaherty, dude. Get Joe Laird, and I want it. I am quitting the office. And he starts to read this letter. He says from Mike O'Donnell right on his behalf. And it's this really long speed the emotional. And then he just leaves the leonardy walks out. And she's like what you're on early. Can we take a break, the judge postpones it she picks up the letter, and it's just the address of the courtroom, and he said that all from the heart and this fucking finally. Yeah. Is when Leslie man is like wait sick. And also wouldn't failure of this movie. I think is not establishing Matthew Perry either physically or like Habich Alie where like then Zac Efron could do some of those things to sort of link those characters. What's funny is he will? He does though at the basketball game. Does he because she there's another big game? That's happening. And you end the movie he's on the court. And she he does like he does he touches his face points or something. And it's what he did when she walks into the gymnasium at the. Ginning? That's like finally the beating her over the head like oh my God. That's my husband like she kind of. She's pretty much believing it when the letter happens, I spent more for the audience's pursue because look at exactly because he is doing kind of I think he does a decent job at mimicking Matthew Perry's. Like does he pet? I think I absolutely. I remember that a thinking that the first time I watched this even though I remember much he apparently he did actually reach out to Matthew Perry and was like, we don't have any scenes together. But like can I talk about like, mimic, you and stuff? But yes, so he does whatever like the finger thing is on the basketball in this final scene, and she's like what? And it's the same thing. There's another gaffe against got another scout in the audience giving it, by the way doesn't make sense. He's giving fifty one. That he's just he looks at Daniel. Earlier movie dies hair, and he's got a hat on cover up. My ball. Hot pocket spot. Key hides the hot pockets days because at this point Zac Efron is so distraught is she deserves the divorce. I've been a piece of shit, right? What I'm gonna do is disappear forever. As the seventeen year old and literally just get a basketball scholarship and again Tomlin. I'm you have to leave my house. That's fine. You gotta get a job or something. Even I your main worshipers saying. Jim Jones cult is going against this time. Now, he's got this girlfriend who says that he could raid. Her dungeon any plunder. My done any day. Because she says at the end of the party like this is why this is why I don't date parents of my students. This is so awkward we can't go out. So the basketball game she fucking shows. He shows up like dressed like a wizar- doing one of those like, this is me. This is who I am wearing fake fuck and L fears right now because he's wearing a cloak like Gandalf, the grey in the two towers that's not possible because Gandalf the grey would died in fellow. Came back as Gandalf the white. And it's like we are going to pound. You just knew the difference. Drink end of the grand and up the white. We are going to pound down and big s what now that I'm having sex. You have to leave my house. Yeah. Hill. And then it's just I mean, this is this is the last scene of the movie, basically is that the basketball. Of course, he in the stands this time. He just decided dead the whole time. That would be great. This is the other place. But like he gets off the cord and then like he starts transforming back into Matthew Perry and it right? Like when in in the film moon-walker with Michael Jackson what he starts to turn into a car. The shadow. It's like this weird trade body or transformation American where we'll. And his face is getting longer. Could I be any more grotesque starts inflating? Right knotted up and back. It's actually like a his skin rips off. But then there's other Matthew Perry skin underneath it. And he just sheds. This whole Zach Ephron skin Zach on hand, and it rips open, and it's a Matthew berry handling with the wedding band back. And she's just like, Leslie man is so unimpressed with the magic that it's so fucking ridiculous issue. Okay. When that she's just like weird. Okay. She says weird. That's it. It's fire. It's fire up to do here. Oh, and you apologized for that stuff. Okay. Then we also shit. I should've fucked that seventeen year olds. Yeah. Totally would have been totally fine. Guess what? Fucking. That's not going to be no picnic. I still don't understand how we grew two feet. I don't get it. I really strange, and they're just he's she's just like he's like, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. And I've learned my lesson. What a great guy I've learned not to do anything differently except for maybe a little like an asshole take ten give this guy one more fucking down week. And he's gonna never married. That's not for us to say, man. I guess that's the credits. It that's for seventeen again too. And we get a big fat v. End dude now is pretty dumb, that's bad. And then you get a stinger seeing that actually shouldn't be a stinger because it completes the movie. Wait, there's a stinger seen again the end after the end literally after the end credits. It's the end a little bit of credits. And then we immediately this been hired to be the basketball code now. I missed. Because they make Jim Gaskin makes reference in the middle of the movie that like, yes. His last year is the coach or whatever. So. Yeah, it's like their lives are going. Okay. Matthew Perry's happy at his new job basketball movie says the end it's over, and I don't understand like why can't you just have that before the before the end such an awkward tacked on scene where he interrupts Tom linen Moore hardened having sex? Oh, right. Peter bed having sex. They're just laying there about to do something. I think they just did it do, and they just did the deed, the space deed, and the gag is like oh get this fucking guy Atta here, right? Well, everything worked out for me, like even Moore Walters or hardens the magic toil Murray watching all of us right now is he is he kind of basically it's over pretty fucking. I think he's watching ICU and you're sleeping. No, one euro weak little bubble boy around severe for Moore harden. It's probably Elaine Stritch. I'm drunk. I mean, if you wanna fuck this. Yes is whatever day on the job. He's excited the basketball coach, that's fantastic. That's it end of the movie. Sure. Seventeen again, anybody recommended Luna? No, it's quickish one. It's it's pretty close to a hangover movie. I guess because it's so innocuous mostly. But like, it's just it's totally forgettable for all the right reasons because you should forget this movie. Yeah. I mean, I I really don't like this movie. I'm really don't like it because the whole point of something like this like he has still like like everything he thinks is right is right at the end. Like, yes. Like, he's not unpopular other than from stand beating them up other than that everybody kinda likes him and do actual culture clash of oh these kids today. That would just make it so much worse, though, dictating what music they listen to you. You've never seen back to the future or whatever. There's no slobs. Versus snobs. There's other ways this could have gone like he doesn't like you would think like at the beginning. He was going to make friends with the outsider kids in gym class. And that does happy. He's just a popular kid is just don't fucking get it. So you had no no for me. Yeah. I'm also not gonna recommended, but I do think like there's some funny moments. I think Tom Lennon's pretty funny. I mean, not I mean, some of these materials pretty, yeah. Africans funny, and it's got its moments and yes, Zac, Ron is a revelation. But overall, I found this movie to be like a. Detrimental detrimental to society. Yes. To society on the home with that. I don't know. I guess I'm just getting soft in my old age. I recommend this movie. I laughed all the way through it. I'm never gonna like actively tune in again, I think it would be kind of a fine. Like, you're hung over and free form somehow comes on your television there. I don't know it is movie. It's a movie that I laughed enough. All the way through that calls itself. A comedy at the end of the day. It's like we'll I'm laughing. So they're sure, you know, I don't know whatever, maybe I'm just blind Zach Ephron, he so fuck and handsome. Hugh. And so handsome gets better. Look at every week. I know now he's gonna play the most handsome serial killer of all Ted. We love Ted. We want dead. We want dead that is seventeen again directed by Burs steers. If you want more we hit movies, check out. Our patriot patriot dot com slash we hate movies. Yeah. It's death wish twenty eighteen ally Roth film yolks, and if you are listening to this the week it comes out, you should check us out. Check out our tour tab on the podcast dot com because we still have shows DC Philly and New York this week. That's nNcholas cage movies all the time. That's right. Some tickets still able to some of those shows definitely check it out. And specifically I mean, if you're listening to the day comes out of the afternoon or morning that it comes out DC. We'll see you tonight at the DC improv that'd be but as always the we hate movies train keeps rolling on. What's the next movie town? We're going to Steve another supernatural being fucking with teenagers. It's final destination. Oh, man. Tony Todd is death himself would win Tony Todd or Brian Doyle Murray from this Tatas, death or Brian Doyle Murray is this weird. God total. Oh, what really? I mean. He could. Let's say let's say Brian Doyle Murray than takes. Tony Todd makes him seventeen. And now, he's just a more powerful death deity. Death. That's a comic teen death. I love teen. Kevin come on anyway. And who's winning? I would say probably Tony. So until next week when Tony Todd crashes a plane introduce Stephen Akers cabin Eric Cisco, take it easy. That was a hate gum podcast.

Har Har Matthew Perry Zach Ephron Chris Tomlin Brian Brian Doyle Murray Thomas Lennon basketball Leslie man Mani Zac Efron Steve Chris it Netflix Andrew Jupiter Michelle Trachtenberg Ed hardy Dick Boston Tom Lennon Matthew Perry Matt
575: Best of About Last Night 2020 - Part 2

About Last Night

2:23:40 hr | 4 months ago

575: Best of About Last Night 2020 - Part 2

"Well we did it. We got the vaccine is what will be saying in a couple of months. Hopefully happy new year. Hope you guys enjoyed part one part two of the best of ayla twenty twenty is here and it's jampacked with all sorts of fun goodies for your heart and your face so So yeah let's just get into Of course a few things to report on young rock. Premiers on nbc. Soon is what the promo says. I believe ended january possibly fed way. Check your local listings for that. Show that i'm a part of and It's gonna be great so Pop it in the season and then Hopefully more seasons to come but The show is great. and it's It's the rock. So what more can you ask for Some of you are like how. 'bout ryan reynolds well I think they're doing a movie together. So you're you're in luck ramps Also check me out on burke. Crushers podcast Tomorrow the broadcast and and a big show February fifth went to Get you guys to to get a ticket to. It's a big a virtual show that you can watch from the comfort of your own home With dana carvey. Joel mchale adam devine lhasa slash ron funches thomas lennon sue bird and joey mcintyre all the proceeds go to benefit seattle food banks. So get a ticket at rush. Ticks dot com seven pm fifth. Friday night sit at home for two hours. Get high get drunk be sober. It's fun to watch comedy sober. I don't know who does it but you can do it so So either way. Get a ticket. Rush dot com february fifth big atom rain. French showed a benefit. Seattle food banks again. The line stack suber dana carvey. Joel mchale tom lennon adam. Devine ron legenger enjoy mcintyre Rush takes dot com for those tickets. Of course my cry album will take it from. Here is out everywhere. You can get your audio go with that. All improvised crowd work for an hour and change and Of course adam. Reemerged at shop atom ray dot com beanies. Hats hoodies shirts. All the good stuff you want Doing a big promotion right now. I think it's thirty percent off so go do that. The promo in my instagram at atom ray comedy tour dates popping up in seattle That's it for now. Hopefully more trying to get on the books but There's this pandemic thing that's getting away so hopefully more dates coming soon. All that info atom ray comedy dot com and other tour dates twitter handles and merchantville out of the way. Sit back relax and enjoy part. Two of the best of alien twenty twenty part son of a bitch. August best of alien number one from workaholics. Pitch perfect mike. David wedding dates and the podcast. This is important with all the work hog skies. It's adam devine. Crushing with new material is your Showcase of your mom sign game penny. Divine is a game but dude she the site her signed game is almost about the trump her mom game. Sh- i mean. Her side game is out all control like my mom for people that are like signed game thinking like she's a sign language person That was she's not but she has all the like classic midwestern mom signs that that that it's like can you name a few. I can't even name them right now. They're it's all wine related. It's like yet go to my instagram. Tagged it as a highlight that little Button right there. And there's like fifty. Some signs in love makes a home. love grows best in a house. Like this. I love you a bushel and a pack and a hug around the neck. My mom used to say that that's classic that one head hung mom says here's heaven has a dog time to drink wine and dance on the table. That's a sign. If you can't imagine it you can dream it and you can become if you can't imagine it. You can dream it you can become. Let's get naughty. But it's a nautical side that might be my fave nice penny this line. I mean about one. That's a rug right when you walk in the house. It says got wine like flexing on her guests. Like hey you bring the shit ingredient or you just brought yourself better got one. Hey don't wipe your shoes. Don't want your shoes if you turn your ass back around. Go back to the store. Do someone for you come back in here. Read the sign burr. Later yeah yeah. They're down in lake of the ozarks down. They just retired my parents and they're done. They're they're logging it to my Sister just She quarantined here in. La but she has like little one bedroom apartment like right off venice boulevard and like there's like a homeless encampment like right off her bedroom window and like people like knock on her window at night. She's like oh you can show. She's like i gotta get outta here. I can't i can't social quarantine in this apartment. Fuck gotta go fucking nuts. So she just packed up. Her car drove to lake of the ozarks and is just with my. My parents now is down and i. I like try to call them. Every time i call vendor just too drunk to talk to there is too drunk to talk to you by the way. If everyone's kind of like you make it through the con. No there's and what does that for your. How can you tell. Your dad. Picks up and just goes. Hey what is know. My dad is all about like my dad. You gotta get my dad. Hates trump and i also think trump's a fucking idiot but but my dad is obsessed with it to where like when he gets drunk. He's like let me tell you something. God damn for all a great impression. You know my dad on ritalin when you get strung out trump all chino looks like and cheeto all right. I can i talk about i. I watch users shoes. Thank you so much was kirwin. Usually what did i help you with as much. Hey britney there. I had a okay. We're drinking a little bit. Marin data so drawn like janitors shit. I'm going crazier with best moment number two from podcast. Sharp-tongued chelsea lately netflix. All the good stuff. She's hilarious and everybody loves her. Not one person does like this girl. You're gonna find out why it's just me peluso stay most just like just whatever. Steam sauce name was the factory when he was there a couple of weeks ago. So mad. what happened well. I didn't bombard em and be like. Hey my friend bad is the guy you would turn to. The you've been texting. Try to do the puck. He was getting bombarded by people and gals and he did on the way. Walk out and it looked just goes guy man. We didn't have been met and go. You have a nice face. And he goes i go. I think i'm getting out. You left me a note that i listened to and you let you left me a song as well but you told me that you met steam most and then you're saying you're saying to me about it. Yeah you saying to me about it. It was a great. You always leave me great messages and usually there's a song in multiple messages have been about stamos. You actually left me a message as joan. No as stay is less successful. Brother ron stamos a know you're in my brother john. This is ron attention me. Anyways i'll fill your house. You told me it. Fill my house. Fill your fill your house because a full looking at me critiquing my own voice enjoying your outlook you loving you. Would i mean like he was going to like. Furnish your apartment your house. That's not a euphemism. I got a discount for sexual. You're like i have a nice shays lounge ever heard of a hanging chair all right. That was a euphemism. Oh my god what would you do. So i don't really know i would. I would deliver food. Maybe babysit babysit. Seems okay tight. No one's gonna want you to come over right because everyone's dirty so what santos struggling he was like. We're talk about him coming out to to come over to play video games or something. And he's like dude. I don't even know san diego. You don't wanna come out with. His wife is concerned rightfully so about people coming over a baby under a year old. That's acceptable you. Don't what about cam girl. I could be a cam girl now. We're talking so it's he sees pay for them to get those feet online go to. What is it dot com. Wikipedia dot com. I don't know why i'm on there. Somebody put me on their they. Get your feet question. How did you get my feet by the way. One of those girls with like those trenchcoats but opening up by give watches and just have always little toes. Or it's just a hair you can't even see it's just a bed of hair in one pinkie toe right here. One pinkie toe. Is there a foot. We don't know don't know this what you pay for. Is it a birth to form for the patriots. We'll let you know. Yeah so we don't know god. This awful joke just reminded me of coq this target. I used to go to all the time. And i was like what does the job like. What are the prerequisites for working at target. Having so your body. Footy omar i go. I'm meeting my show. Am i live this together. I go great your general manager. Michael grab a red polo with size. You large we've got a small because it's one time i went to target and this guy was so god bless them. It wasn't his fault but he was also sent me like nine different directions. I was looking for razors. He's right there in the home and garden section and the quarter. mijo harry. Do you think. I am dude old. Stand up stand. Up is the best it really did you ever during this quarantine will you pull up old tapes. I seen some people have pulled up as they've been home old family videos. They've been going through a no now. I have one family video. Do any like dance recital. Did like i used to do a one person. Radio show that record on my tape deck cassette tape. And i forget what i called it but i did voices. And there's want a full hour of dracula Actually all directly. Let's the only voice fucking was seventeen hours yourself. I did a little bit of drag it. There's there's a good at two hours. Interesting years of dracula. Wait a minute. Do you remember what he would talk about. He's i think i just was ripping off of count dracula count and laugh. Like one through a. I would do that for myself. I think i was autistic. Yeah you grata extra choline in your diet it right out. That's fucking brilliant. You've your voice. You always did that when you were. I was always doing some sort of thing. Like it's impressions of friends or teachers or what you heard on tv. Yes i didn't use to do when you will do facetime or wedesday's or whatever your mom would are brilliant mom so funny and she's such a good like companion she's a great sport but you'll you've done her voice a few times on their to her. I feel like i'm here. Don't be inappropriate. You're acting asinine shoes to call me asinine so much. Entertainment to figure what that word meant. Yeah mike how many are you saying why. Why are there nine asses. Who are these other people. Yes is you stop at a stop at. You are as net. My daughter did not teach my daughter to tack like that. Don't see the c word the first What was the. yeah what. Yeah oh you know what it was it is it always has it ever not been coochie the card k. isn't it it's a c. But it's you know what i mean. K. u. k. T. c. h. e. We're gonna say that seattle's yuji seattle system the school system. Yeah like they were teaching me that in fourth grade guys kuchis bill with a hard k can. School system fails me guys. First of all. Look history is cool. We will get to that. But there's a lot of talk out there recess thing. It was a thing it happened. Got a but Been there done that. We'll get speaking a case the gate coochie and one an twosies. Duos an i wanna put you arrange your measure seafood. Seen one just me. That's recess This sexually explicit recess looking as watch worst teacher wherever it's nine. Am pop in a movie. Definitely a sub. Yeah that's a sub move. Did you have a favorite substitute teacher. There's a my mom was. She was my substitute teacher. Wants mrs. allen's class. Oh my god. I had to call her missus peluso and i called her mom and she yelled at me. She's jesse me. I ain't right now. i am your teacher. I'm not your ma'am. Mike and was like right now. I am to call you what i wanted to call you because your mom she's a i will. I will put you in detention and in your in your in your freaking fucking frequent. She said freakin. She's you're being a kuchi with a k. I tell you this much. I take this much do well. There was a woman. They mistreating who had a lazy eye. A lisp and a great recipe for tuna casserole. Oh god she she misery. She's a bash people's. She looked like she was probably eighty seven realistically because as a seventh grader. You don't know ages and everyone's either your age or one hundred. Yeah she was probably in her late sixties but she a little bit of olympic cain. Mrs string she was. Just what kind of name is not as she. The witness protection program. You might have been as a fake name she string. She was great because You know there was. This group of russian break dancers polish opoczynski dmitri maxim and and sports illustrated and go to the school that they made the dangerous minds and gang. What did you call them. Publisher pop ski. We always make them because he would go like this shot up. That was his thing. Where i was gonna shut up and i remember he. Dog real kid. He dogged me so hard because in science where the teacher may name is. Brian also looked like she was ninety. Eight probably seventy five and she had a really tough tough exterior voice like this. She's probably not with us anymore. Which really sucks. Because that's one teacher. Ms brian she she all right. We're going to she s. She threw me out of class one day because we were dissecting frogs i took pins you had the pin the fucking animal's limbs and head down with and i took it through the mouth and girl my group that was deathly afraid of like even touching doing this and so i pinned down and then i like shoes. It was her turn to like cut them open tilted his head up and i go. I go. You got me open. And she almost puked ran out. Broncos reagan out in the hall. God damn it and then another day. She's like all right. Oh yeah she's like right. There's also different types of fun guy right. There's this guy they know any other types of guys go to ray. I go wrong guy. She goes out in the hall. Not even skip a little credit. She didn't tell me on that day. She was like look. You're kind of funny. There's a time and place is not the time or the place and like the one is like not air cut to you. I feel like this is the intro. That you're a star is born where you're like telling jokes walking up an alley you know like oh lady gaga was saying. You're out there like fungi. I'm a fun guy like the music plays and it cuts to like doing stand up at a burlesque show in in sinbad please. The first day of my data showed me so this makes and then you become a great comedian. Then he can't take it anymore and he's hello hollywood. That's the moment number three from half-baked something about mary. The whole nine yards His podcast harlan highway countless specials It's the one and only truly. Nobody likes them. Harlan williams one question. Because i mentioned i thought dumb and dumber was what brought you out. I thought we we talked about that at some point in our friendship. And i've told you my favorite movie of all time. I was watching it there tonight and crying laughing and i don't know if you've ever talked about this and i know i've either had the question or maybe you've touched on it but i remember you telling me something that blew my mind about your scene in that movie He actually drank piss. Yeah well yeah it was it. Was you know because that obviously a scene stealing like that. I used to tell you like in middle school like we used to do that. Noise and impersonate you and and people would have that scene memorized and it was that iconic and then i remember you telling me and maybe you can refresh my memory For our audience about because a fairly brothers were pretty generous with improv. Right right yeah but But can you remind me and tell people like why that was so special that because there was a lot of you taking a gamble early on in something that that maybe you wouldn't otherwise but again you trust them what you had. Oh well yeah with that move. He was my first movie. So i was pretty terrified. We're out on a country road. And it was just like the crew the farrelly brothers directing and then jim carey was blowing up and Jeff daniels who had been nominated for oscars so here was i from canada. I didn't even know what the super bowl and now i'm outlet for the super bowl too. Yeah right but i'm their shoot. And i'm i'm a little terrified. I've never done anything you know hadn't even been on a set. Well i've done the commercials. But that was it. I never had to memorize lines really or anything like movie. Stars do a scene. You know what i mean so it was pretty pretty intimidating. and and so I have my lines down and then We did about three takes. Its rape from the script. I was too scared to do anything else. And then the fairly. Peter came up to me goes harland Do at the harland. Way now. And i go. What do you mean he goes. You know do the harlem thing. I don't like the harlem thing he goes. Yeah you know do it your own way and i said okay. And as soon as he said that i was like here. We go got excited. I got excited nervous so to to be i was nervous but also like here we go. I'm like i'm gonna rip the lid off of this thing. And so so i just i just did the scene and i used the script as a framework but i just started adding and improvising. And you know the first time. I did it i cracked jim and jeff op and then then they had me do it like three or four more times like that and i could hear the crew laughing and i could hear you know it was just like magic and and so i was just able to like. Just make stuff up in the moment and freak. Yeah somehow that was improvised. Pumpkin pie that that came from like nonstop would say really. Oh yeah people. That didn't even have that haircut just to where that came from. So when i was a kid up at our cottage cottage up in northern ontario in the summer we'd go there and we had a book of of. What's it called fairytales. Limericks limericks but folktales like mother goose and there was the story about the peter pumpkin pie eater and he'd sit in the corner and stick in his thumb and pelota plow australia. Peter pocket or something so there was a with that story. Right the peter. Pumpkin pie eater whatever And and you know this book illustrations in it and one of the illustrations for the pumpkin pie. One was his little fat kid with a haircut that went rate across like in something in like Dr and so. As i was improvising i looked at his banks. And that that thing for my child popped into my head that illustration of the the kid eating the pot pie. So i just qb booze you little pumpkin pie was it was based off that stupid illustration. I saw what as a little boy of this kid in a corner with a pie. It is oh my god and what you're supposed to drink the beer to begin with or did you improvise that to drink beer. But what what what they. They know they didn't lose it because they they left it in but no the after we cut. They were howling but but then The beer scene with the funny noise like the dolphin oi that was based on the Done a bunch of takes and then and then I had done stand up for the fairly came to see me at the laugh factory here in hollywood before we shot well and they saw me do Stand up and i used to do this bit. When when whitney houston was you know pop and she'd that movie the bodyguard. She did that song. I will always love you. There was a point in the song as low as love. You voice should kept going higher and higher and higher. And i used to do a bit like what for voice so high. She started doing a whale call. You know like. I would love that. I'd be like and the fairly so we done all these takes and they said do it again and this time do the whale noise and i go. What do you mean they go. Do the whale noise. In in the teigen ago i go. Where would they go. We don't know i saw that. I thought you know what if the guy like dranked his bottle and it was pissed and piss has no drinks pissed so i thought what if it caused a weird chemical reaction when it hit the enzymes of a human's mouth and i was just like it was a you know it's made because you your face to have like an involuntary like spasm make that noise so that's where i put it in all mike and that's where they left it and it was just it really somehow it worked. I couldn't believe i did. You know as you're doing it you're like now. Is this just so silly. Like i was in that movie for. I think two three minutes at the most. If that and i just thought i'd be blown by thought i'd be forgot their powerhouses and then the whole movie. Oh yeah. i didn't think. I thought i was like a throwaway scene but then but then i remember the first time it ever happened as down at the beverly center. I can see it right out this window and i remember the movie had been out for about six. Weeks is walk into my car on the sidewalk on last seen again. This crowd of like proudly twelve year. Old schoolboy auchan down the sidewalk right probably about twelve of them and i was minding my business all sudden they swarmed around me and there are you the guy the cop with the the macon the non is like well. How do you know that. That was the first time i realized and they were quoting the lines and stuff and i want to tell them. How weird is that. You know ever get like anyone server at a restaurant and be like a. Oh yeah i. I was at a fancy restaurant in montreal wants steak lobster and i was. I was walking through at a nice meal. You know expensive. And i was walking as walking across the restaurant Leave some lady goes. Hey drinker acre. So does its opposites now. Do you do the noise back. Oh i was just humiliates. Famous dishes actually at that restaurant. Can i get another pissed drink. Oh my god that's amazing. And that's also. I mean you know hearing you even just like dissect being you know on a set like that. That's so intimidating. Yeah that is an you to come through like that because again. And that's why i was asking like. How nervous were you when they said all right like the ball's in your court to to really bring the funny on this like that can also be overwhelming to. You're like all right. I know i can do this. But you don't want to let the moment get too big to where you don't end up bringing what you know you can do and then you walk away from it being like but it sounds like you just. I think. I felt empowered. I i think. I felt like they let me out of the cage. You know and i thought okay now you know. I feel like that made you comfortable to. Because probably making them laugh and then getting to see you do your thing. That probably just granted you completely. I didn't expect that. But i just thought i feel like when we all get into comedy. We all go look. I've got a voice. I've got my own way of expressing comedy. I've i think i can make people laugh in my own way. And so on. They let me get outside of the script. My inner voice was able to go. Okay now they get to see what makes me me you know. Like what makes me harland or jim jim or whatever you know it's like now gonna be able to just let what's in me come out and and it was great. I actually like gave me power. Like i was like. How did they find you to begin with. They found me through jim. Actually jim was. Jim was doing stand up at the local clubs rate when i got he was still doing. Stand up then us stand up still and he's doing spots with them and he just loved me and he i could see that he He she asked them to come see me at the cloud and then he asked me to. That he got me in for the audition. How old were you at the time. I think i was i. I got here late. So i think coz here i think i was like thirty or thirty one or something nerve wracking when the fairly brothers come see the show or again was tzoment now time because i didn't know what was going on. I didn't know. I didn't know there was a movie brewing. I didn't know. I'll be clueless. When i when i went into read for dumb and dumber read on quotes. I literally went down to santa monica. I walked up. I walked in. Bobby and peter were there and we set our hello and i sat down. They said okay. Great harlan. did you bring your script. What script bobby. Just look. this is our guy best moment number. Four from nbc's dateable The christmas show on netflix. With dennis quaid. Forget the title his special on netflix. Which is hilarious which. The rock approved in posted on instagram called. I'm brent morin so one and only brenton. It's kind of funny when you hear somebody like my brother-in-law just doesn't he's a sweet dude but when he says broad he just you're like oh you. You're a product of your environment. You just came up in a time and an area and maybe a household where broad was like bird flu by and for a second. I don't know if this has let the listening at home. Adam was just talking to me and we're on the floor of this building. So if you're the way he was looking at me but then looking behind me out the window with concern for all i know. It's a meteor like nine eleven by tonight. Nine eleven is looking at there was there was a condor looking bird of real world door velociraptor or an avatar shark that was looking doing. Oh he's so scared. I'll be honest. I got almost face folks by pigeon about six weeks ago at the gas station. I was filling up my car. The gas and a bird chose the front of my face as its path of flight. And i've never been more terrified probably in the last twenty years. The gas is very mindless activity. You're sitting there you're pumping you're just like you're leaving your face open and susceptible for five days and i'm just like and all of a sudden out of nowhere i just turn and this pigeon goes. I went a woman next to me. She goes what happened. So sorry man. This bird just went this way. And i don't know in my whatever i just. I saw doing this. You got real scared. I'm sorry man. That was uncalled. I would understand it if i was speaking. And you know and you're looking at the. I'm just being boring but you were talking and you left your own conversation to look behind me what you did. I want you to act it and maybe we can get into this so this is so this no this the window that say. That's me okay. Yeah and then you look at. I'm a window. Okay enough so confused this once again. Worse improv troupe. So so you guys are the window the window the audience you guys are all bears all right go with that bears so this is me and then i'm the window is when you break focus. We don't know we'll get that's a window so you're to me be me. Well wait a minute. Do you want me to show you audience. Liam neeson's tail silent audience on. How is it that you two assholes get every part nothing like the worst book. A cruise ship improv troupe. One credit you guys on. Do you want me to do it this way so that the people are homeless. Even do it as if that's the case trouble at home. This is america's funniest videos. You're still going okay okay. So you're talking to me. But that's where the bird that we the bird way. They won't work. Because what i'm saying is she didn't your head. You moved your eyes. So if i'm talking to you and the window and i'd have to do this. That's not me all right. So she i mean we the bird in jump up actually now that i did it. I actually can't be the widow you on me though in this yes wait. We've got to demonstrate with. You did yes. I want you to do me. I'm brent morin your adam ray store window and about the fact that these windows are open. Is that just do a time cut. It's nighttime. We're still doing so. Wait a minute let me get this straight so here the window bird or are you all right. So here we go. I'm i'm brent your atom. That's the window where you see the bird. This is red adam did. This is what i did. I'm talking was talk right. That's not so crazy about that. Sometimes i think about a looking at her nipples. And i'm thinking maybe i shouldn't be looking at her. What i'm saying like you know. Sometimes you get caught in a converse you went from what is that. Oh my god two. Oh two should. I keep going that many times. You were like twenty. Where the thing is that happened with the makes me like. Oh my god. What else would motivate me. Look by the way we're going to have to cut back in slow mo to see my eyes and do in salmon post. Can we do that. Yeah so anyway the thing is with the nipple happens sometimes is that you have to really realize that. There's something that we've been all around the world waiting on your shadow like it's fucking independence day or something. Don't like now that. I know the pigeon story. I understood the fear dude. I now have to add that to my list of concerns. When i walk outside. I ask you like 'cause sometimes you don't realize you're scared of something. Something like that happen. I had that. With a goose or swan swan's gregory's visas goose's yeah when you order. Swan swan chased me as a kid. And now i see swan. I stay away from them. We're going to say if you order to gregory. Dj geese to. greg. Greg johnson has a great bit about that he goes. He goes where he goes from ordering to mortaring. Bacchus soda is a great guses. He goes pieces and then he goes. Fuck give. gimme a flat of best moment number. Five you know from carpoolers cloverfield came up silicon valley just comedy beast and it was his first. I'm on the podcast. And hopefully not the last tj milton. I'm always in a different city. Thursday friday saturday sunday friday saturday sunday. So when you were smoking in your hated and you must have had. Because i you know first of all i met you when you were on carpoolers bagging. The hate is we. We'd hey it was that far back remember. Carpoolers gay horses eat horse dick. I used to joke that. Show mine kami really. My nieces a very similar joke. But it's about a A trans horse. Oh yeah while. They're woke they are actually more my nephew who's five. No joke told me that he told some kids at school. That i tell jokes and i go i go. Do you have any jokes for me. And he goes wide to take in questo bowed. First of all. Just love your delivery. Dice like seinfeld with a little. Bit of rodney goes by the chicken cross the road and like why goes because he had a go poop. Yeah which is a good reason across the road. That's what i said. I said that's the times rape. And then he goes why to elephant to eat the giraffe. Mike first of all it did not know that was boxful. What fucking nature dogs. Have you been sneaking. And he goes to elevate. The geographic away goes because he wanted to. Well you know a lot of the robert jobs in explanations of motivations style of humor expertise also named for him yes. He's not as as motivations or if color me bad reunites. That could be track five. Yeah explanations and motivations did you lick lick. Lick my way downtown to the downtown station. The chain gives off ninety s arm vibes near chain. When did you get it. And what does it this. I radically got a chain a long time ago. I just think it's funny to look funny. It's just makes me laugh. I look at my. Yeah when i look in the mirror. And i look like a complete idiot. And it's also. There's something funny to me about kate and me being in public and me looking like this what she has no problem with. She's like likes these pants for reels in earnest and she thinks the chains cool big deal and i asked her like shy. Wear this harbor had which is like a place in new york. We're followups or the emotion with the movie. Like why would you not. Why would you not wear that hat. And so it's funny for me to her. Because she's like this very elegant cultured headed beautiful girl. And then i'm kind of like this. Ding dong next to her. And it makes me back that word. Since firing i think so i think. Very flattering ding-dong affable and delightful and silly to mean no. It's not this. Ding dong gebran to my cousin to brownie doesn't mean anything brother-in-law's bringing back broad really. I don't think it's it's not gonna. I'm not gonna actually rigid but it's not gonna work best moment number six skies one of the best comics in the game. You've seen him on everything. He's got specials up the yang. You can say that. Twenty twenty. But i did It's alonzo boden. But no men. if it's funny then always winds up. Money always wins you hurt. You've heard me do. I can't even. I don't even know if i'm allowed to described a bit. But i love it my my nigga mitchell joe. I loved didn't a midget joke. And when now when you just heard that you like oh my god that but what you've heard about aet context of it it works. It's on because the joke is about the words people's response to words and if you're going to respond to words without knowing the context of the word then you're an idiot yep because any any word can be funny but you gotta put in the work to write the joke right. Light like the guided director. Who did joke. I can't remember his name bills. Yeah when he said. I'm not doing comedy anymore because you can't be funny. You know my response was right harder. You could still be funny. You could be funny about. Damn near anything yeah. There's very few things that would be off-limits and it's fun and this is something chapelle does and it's something i try to do when you can find something funny about a topic that you're not supposed to talk about. That's the best joke in the world that you know. Brian holtzman now. You're talking about great comics. People don't know man holtzman kills and and it's horrible. The shit he says you know what i mean like when we were on last comic man corey holcomb. Like if you're if you're a woman looking for misogyny head will explode listening to corey hokum right but he's a good guy. I mean this is act. It's it's the delays. It was like back in the day. They were people who were upset with dice. You know like as if it were real. I mean if dice was walking into grocery stores he could duck suck my dick now. I don't think he wears peanut butter. Yeah i think can behave in polite society back then when people were offended. Couldn't find each other now. People can find each other so it feels like a little like army is almost raised. Like oh my god. I got two thousand people disagreeing with me at once because back in the day just like probably one or two people overwhelming. Oh we we had a great moment. You know back when we did Last comic standing you know men have talked about it all the time we left well over fifty thousand my space friends. 'cause we know how to time our career so that's what you had. You had my space and you had forums and and half was like you know someone has to hate you to look up a forum. Create a username. Come up with a password log in and then tell you they hate you like you had you had. It couldn't just you couldn't just throw out a tweet. No you had to and then you had to remember your password when they hated you again the following week. It means. you're doing something right. Yeah i know right. I just saw heaven arizona What's the place he got in detroit. Dude i i mean look handful kilos but we got real Fired up about the idea about a bunch of comics out there for either show. Hang but man. Didn't that look. What is to ranch a ranch in detroit. john hafren. Yeah yeah 'cause you're going to get a house there for two grand dude. Oh so it looks like the set of little house on the prairie and it's just like i mean it looked like it looked like the this is the thing and i talked about so he went to a just held divorce right he just went to shit divorce and we used to live near each other up in woodland hills right. Oh so you were right along for the ride not for most of it but yeah for a lot of it i hit you know but anyway so he sells his house there and he goes to detroit. Anybody and i said you bought a house that a woman's gonna look at and want to marry you like what the hell is wrong with you like you don't want to be married. Don't buy a farmhouse with a ranch and it is. It's it's the perfect family home it is. It is a house that a woman looks at and that nesting instinct is like. Oh yeah yeah. This is good. I'll take this one. Oh yeah and. I was like what the hell is wrong. No get a condo aware by something stupid get to have access to a hotter screening for you know. Let them know this. There's no way for you to stay. I love that guy. I love heff have you. Do you have a yeah. You've known forever. I mean since we we you know he brought it up. Because i had forgot so i i went head to head on star search with arsenio in like a one or something like that. Yeah we went. He and i have a long history of competing against these other in comedy and when we finally finished last comic we agree to never compete ever in anything again. I mean like we're at the grocery store it's like you. I know you. I wait on arsenio. Four star search know arsenio hosted. They did a remake of star search in early two thousands and arsenio with the host was Was this apart that he get this going in the crowd. No no that was after his show so they knew who he was but they weren't doing the barking. I always wanted to see that. Live when i've seen old clips like there's that clip of somebody posted recently of somebody yelling out like how coming never have gay people on your show you clip. And then he goes up into the stands. It's like the opening monologue. And he goes up into the stands and just roast these guys and in a very diplomatic funny smart fun way. But he was like jacked up and once he did it and he ended up being like this is my show and he's got people on either gay. He's a gay. 'cause it's not your fucking business. And then he was going off and the people going nuts and their version of going nuts and supporting him was everybody who who and then he goes. It's my fucking show he goes now. Let's start it. And he goes back down the stairs. And i was like what i wouldn't have given to be in that audience just to be a part of that. You know nobody there. But there's somebody there i see you guys. Comedian adam ray. Here thanks for listening to the about last night. Podcast over your joined the episode. And i hope you're doing okay. It's a crazy crazy time right now. If you're a little uneasy. I get that i've also got the answer. Koi say it would be coy. Cbd feels good and it does feel good. Because i use other products. I've been fucking with the fellas at quiz. Cbd since my circumcision. And i'll tell you this much. They're the best in the game. Okay gumy's bath bombs tinctures joints kriens. Oils they got stuff for. Pets has been giving the people what they need to feel. Better to mellow out to go to sleep right to take away. The aches and pains with the creams and oils. Bath bonds make bathing. Just the best thing ever get a little little radiation high from the from the bombs. I don't know what's in it but fucking goodness and and just all sorts of it's okay. It feels like drugs and it's not because it. Cbd so if you wanna get these amazing products. And i know you do. Because they got the atom stamp approval dot com and putting the code alien fifteen to get fifteen percent off your first order dot com the promo code alien fifteen. Get fifteen percent off your first order do it today and start living and dylan the right way and now back to the episode. Best moment number seven from new kids on the block. His show return of the mac. The heat the mccarthy's just a sex symbol. Every kid's got a poster of this guy or mom. Some dads joy mcintyre sing elevator music that that did eighty you and i have that if there couldn't be more clear distinction between the vader's that you and i are traveling in you just went with the classic dance band back awesome and probably also if we're family feud and it was like name the top number for me. Yeah but you know what. I was about to start saying. Please don't stop the music. Please stop trying to make my neck. Fine i'm going to take it off this. I'm excited about this. I'm really really excited about this. This is going to make me recovered a lot quicker. Heck yeah because it's like having a little splinter some it's just gonna force. You did not exactly. We'll do it. Also let's not. Let's not be quick to Overlook the amount of just bending and wall leaning you doing doing your job Sings the classics Last saturday you're of course hilarious. I finally watched though. I brought that up. It's still ought to remain out because if you do anything it's there forever but you let tell people what you did first before you get into the complementary adam all your followers follow me and and you're right you're right you're ten volt. They know exactly what what we're not doing it again. So that's for for new listeners. Because that's always happening so again. There's no new listener zoom has not stunted your comedic timing. i'll tell you that much The take a drink guitar syria now. Thirsty cheeses can you put that. Brace back on your real fucking only know you got a lot more room to put your fingers on your head to just as of well let me say this. I didn't know the the amount of Prep that you did for. It was fucking great. You also used your space brilliantly. At one point we joked. Even you're like oh it's too many locations but you know i think some would argue in some commented not enough locations and opening by the way with like this beautiful open room where. I don't know what you're planning on using it for. But i think that i definitely i looked like it was so often and there was a corner of a room. Yeah for those of you know no did the block we're supposed to do a cruise a got cancelled so we did a virtual crews and we tried to instead of four days since four nine five days on on a boat we tried to interact with our with our amazing fans much as possible over those four days. We a game shows we zoom fast. We did carry. Excuse me karaoke. Usually do a show. So i did. I did it a livestream. You've been on the boat before adam area kinda host hosted kick it off. I graciously accepted my friend. Gabe lopez is a great musician. Songwriter emmanuel curios. Great friend and songwriter. They all came on and we we did a an evening with you know and i probably could have one set up. I did three setups. If the behind the scenes was literally all the rig doubt duct tape to a a piece of wood and laid in between two struts of of a a ladder in all by myself. because i'm by myself by myself. So i could have kept it simpler. I was talking a lot again. On the cruise it's e- it's a captive audience in more ways than one so it was a little bit story tally. If i do it again a probably get to the songs a little sooner but is stalled. So while i had these ninety seconds to minutes you know changes you guys to talk to each other. You so funny own brilliant. Do you also. Because i've ever pre show i'm trying to cover as many bases as possible. Joe you gotta tell me like when you come back in like. Is there going to be a time or are you just going to jump in. And we'll just know and you like your when i pop back on the screen you'll know know just very positive positively to be like when i'm there. Yeah so but you. Your timing wasn't impactful. Because gave it. I started getting a fun little back and forth and you would come in right notice that last one the very last one too because i just watched the last night for the first time because i want to see how it sounded the game tape the game. Which isn't really fun. I mean i i. I know it's part the game to get better like that. Some people look at it and some people say never looked. Just keep going. Don't look back. Don't take notes. Rehearse get better. But you know who says david copperfield. And where is he you know where what does he billions of dollars from a magic show. Hey buddy show for ten years saad three times and only just looks good. Yeah go again when things resume but the point is you gotta make some changes swell changes or it was really the the the the technological aspect of it. Because we're trying to everybody's trying to figure out how to best stream and on a musical level. Yeah and i was happy that people pleased overall. It's we're being absurdist everybody. We're trying to get people's minds off of where we are now. And so it's it's a big plus it's all it's all gravy right but i looked at it mine. I was happy with my performance but my voice would do the cancelled. When i sang. It would cancel out the music a little bit. It had because these things are bill to do that to to focus on the boys and then and then knock away the background noise. Yeah zoom in. Like stuff like this so i think it just it triggers differently so as i want to see if we can fix that and make it make it better. Make it better. Best of moment number eight sky open for me on the road will be headlining on his own. Very soon. just had an album dropped called girl daddy and he is just one of the funniest dude ever follow him on instagram sandy. Dando for all this hillary's workout videos. It's my buddy sandy dantonio. I'm getting a treadmill. I got a. I just bought a green screen and i'm getting a treadmill and i'm going to do treadmill videos in front of the green screen so it's like. Oh sandy's dancing on a treadmill in turkey right now. Not all to the armenians. But he's doing it. are you gonna. Wow are like sandy's in antarctica on a treadmill. I didn't even know they had treadmills there. I mean if you can. I wonder what sort of if you did like a treadmill dancing video with like penguins walking around behind you antarctica. Would you get some sort of like pita hate mail. I don't know where where are penguins tied the pita. I think penguins are but let me ask you this. If a member moves into a house that has a rat infestation boys. This fucked up riddle but like are like we. Before we moved into the house we'd get an exterminator. Yes there were rats in like. No one wants to live with rats. So if you're like an animal rights person until he's with rats but not based on a true story right but like are you making ready to the the reality show or are you are you like. Don't tell anyone else in up. But i got an exterminator. Rats ferrets raccoons by by mary. Hossam's nikko no one needs your three rows teeth. Possums your gross nice you rats. Even my smicer like they're so cute. What what do you also look at your shit at you and go on we. Do we have a good one. We have to flush we. We keep it mo- Yeah any firm vermin of mice are poop details and rats are diarrhea and possums are like they're all these stones. I don't know the rhody rose. They're not maybe they're friendly but look anything. That is running around like squirrels. Or the only one i'll give an exception to. I still wouldn't bring that q. Bushy tail yes and they've also the thing with the acorns s. They've also been you know. Well see now. I guess. I'm i'm going against my own. Thought saying like chippendales rescue rangers will it was gonna say chipmunks honorable mention chippendale. And why is there a kids show with the same name as a all-male dance review. I've never understood that. You never see a cartoon possum right hell. No you never see. I mean and well disney made a huge gamble putting everything on the shoulders of cartoon mouse. But did he make mickey and minnie look like the mice that you see with those beady. Little red is hell no. He made them barely recognizable to other mice. Yeah here's disney in the pitch meeting that Trying to get them to do a story about macy's which makes them cartoon jews. Possums oops possums opossums two things. Everyone hates smash mountains open. Did you hear disney best of moment number nine north from pretty much everything. Her special banging. Jesus christ every game show. Who wants to be a millionaire to tell the truth conan fallon. She's she's hilarious. It's nikki glaser a party. You wants to go. All the way might get to the to the million. Because that's that's what the i mean. I wanted to get as much as possible. But i wanted to be funny. I wasn't gonna stupid chances. I wanted. I did not wanna walk away with thirty. That's all i wanted was not to walk away with a minimum of thirty two thousand. That would have been so boring to me. So one hundred twenty five. I was like yes. Sweet you know six digits and its charity. You get to keep it. I gave it to a bird rescue. It's it was really a rash decision. I was being hound. Lot of people are upset about me donating this much money to a bird rescue but i had to pick my charity before the pandemic just looks insensitive due to the current climate when this show aired so it looks like just like i'll just like 'cause i just said jimmy. I like birds. So i literally google bird charity and found the first website that looks like reputable which is true. Because because that's what i would do you know if there wasn't a pandemic happening i like animals. I pick an animal alike type in animal. Then i type rescue than i look for a website that does it look like it was geo cities you know. I look for a stamp of approval from something. And then i go. Yeah them and so i. I gave money birds. I mean that's fucking cool. I didn't know the birds weren't so much needed cash like what's going on. What are they. What's happening with what what's going towards. There's nothing everything's wrong with. Every creature on earth the opik one. And there's something wrong with birds. There's there's birds that have saved my mayan. I gotta be honest with you. My initial reason for donating two birds was to rescue. Parrots to rescue like birds like tropical parrots that have been displaced and bread against her will in stolen from their nests. And and the really. It's it honestly is a really sad thing. Because parrots live to be like old as she you know and people get them thinking. I'm just gonna get a pet. And then the people like die and their parents outlive you utilize a plan for your parents. There's still many abandoned merits. And so i wanted to donate to charity. That like takes care of these abandoned parents. That can't be returned to the wild. But then i i in my googling. I just didn't do a good job and i ended up donating like wild birds which i also love. But you know. I'm not as concerned about cranes as i am like cockatoos but i love all birds. I mean this yeah. That was an incredible. I'll take things. I didn't think you were going to say for a thousand alex by the way i'll take. Please don't touch me alex. Keep your mitts off me. I've heard about you. Alex parrot charity sounds like they're playing coachella. That's a fucking a great name right. Do you ever spend by the way. When you're getting lost in your daytime karaoke sessions do you ever fantasize about like going because look there's enough d cuckoo's out there. That are like stamps. It might not even come back. And you're like all right. I mean you know. Yeah i think anything's really. But no. But i have talked to a comics that have jokingly but then also been like starting to think about what i else i could do. Yes and these are real comic. So there's i am not giving a lot of value to the Conversation other than like thing to talk about. But what do you mean. you're not giving value to it. I don't think that we're going to have to worry about that. Yeah and that's probably me. I'm very glass. Full like optima love that. That's why knock over your half full glass right now and tell you the truth about the better typical. You know what you're fine. The thing is you're fine because you've already have income in other ways you've are planned for this event at just as i have clearly you know we're what do you mean clearly. I'm wearing a martin sweatshirt that bought off the internet off some like random website. But why would that be clearly making a joke. But why was that. Why would a martin. Certainly you were clearly planning for this event ono. I was talking. I was saying that in line with when you said you've got income from other places. Oh yeah oh clear like oh you're rolling. You're wearing a martin sweatshirt. Yeah got it sorry. Zoom lag of the podcast with nikki goes great my martin bid fucking was improvise it because we have a nice flow e conversation. Oh did you say with zoom lag. Yeah oh that's on you did did did lag. Says that's the moment number ten two of my favorite people on planet earth. They start in the bellman with me but you can still get on amazon right now. wished i was these guys. Thomas lennon myself You know one of them from sex in the city from two broke girls. They're both they're both great and We did a combo with willie garson. Jonathan kaye. here's the thing cruises are really popular right now and they're gonna get really popular. How dare you work. We're we can do one. That's also coordinates cruises. They go. don't worry this one you'll be able to get off. Oh the ships docked for years coming into port. You can fuck on this ship guys. We got to be a little more discreet. With the tagline printed. those posters only twenty of them. I was i had booked cruz actually. Oh to wear unbel- brian. We were going. We were gonna go on. You can afford vacates wuhan. They're small ships. It's a paul gauguin cruise around tahiti. I update for christmas. I cancelled it. And they're like on a cancel like we'll give you generous credits to come back. And i'm like no i didn't really want to think about being on a cruise right now. It's the last place i wanna be. I gotta be honest cruises. I mean you know. John and i are concerned about comedy clubs and obviously concerts for the masses but cruises truly and. I'm not just talking about ships. The family tom cruise's family. Like what are they going to do. They're invested in carnival cruise lines. Well i also they neighborhood you cruise down the highway. You can't even say that anymore off. it's a convertible. You can't get this. You become a sex crime away. Willie what does your oklaho- terry crews is fine. Because the diversity a just when you think the joke is dead. We'll it comes in with the power slam pogue on top weight. Diverts speaking terry. Crews will you accosted anyone sexually in the last twenty four hours. No you are under oath on twenty four way. What is your go-to move on a cruise. You get there. You go where i once in my life. For real yeah. I guess i've only been on like four but right now we're getting some god. Well whoa we hit. Patch the way real quick if you were auditioning for a movie on a cruise. Would you do that if it said the boat in prestige shakes one hundred percent. Okay here we go ready. I'm gonna give both john's record. Whoa are you actually making me kinda. Wanna throw up. I'm gonna give you both dialogue for the same part okay. The movie's called well. You should have the same time. The mo- the movie is called cruising for a bruising and it's not only. Is it a term that my jewish oklahoma moms different movie. No so moving. Just nine aside zine different scene willie reed gripped closer okay. Your opener is the closer when it's just starts in the guy at the other end it's zoom. Meeting goes no. No no and the movie ends credits. Blooper reel about that scene. Only real weird all those cakes them. Then you find out at the end of the scene didn't even entail that they just had to try to corral willie from dropping trout script. It's not in there. He calls his daughter and says happy birthday. We use afford an editor agr. Hey i just want to say about my daughter. Birth was the camera the euro. Why was that was jeff. Bridges the film critic camera way. Real quick jeff bridges review of cruising for a bruising. Okay jeopardy also using zoom. Oh guys you something. I little part so as my brother who produces lou this camera. One best a moment number eleven. Nobody weirder nobody. Funnier the one and only from the take your shoes off. Pot rick glassman. So not memorable is what unmemorable means right. Yeah so i just went out of my way. Because i i had a verbal Insecurity where i go. Oh unmemorable isn't a word. Because i don't like upset muscle memory. May wilder got bewildered synonym. Cinnamon i've said these days is plenty but but but but nervous again or or you just see like a really hot girl behind me. Second date and then she just turns around but-but but team and basically a but hang out of this goes shorts and she goes. Oh i thought you were losing your train of thought. No i just want to. I have a problem where i can't not know. Notice a but your door know but but uh the unmemorable Eight minutes is odd. You said that the coach's name was Fuck fuck teacher okay. Important i remember the but what if he jokingly all the students said that's what his name was because no one could remember it would be nuts. You always remember. You always remember those teachers though. You know what i'm saying. I reminisce about a teacher two days. Just the way you reminisce. This says the mall the way you set that up with so much. You're not even talking to your about to do stand up now so the way you said that i went i went and then you look to camera because we've all been there right. You're in school. Adam justice me from the mid west. I know i just watched that. Tony robbins doc. So i feel like play in the room but but It's roguish right. Third grade teacher. I had a crush on would love to find on facebook now. Shut up miss rubbish. If you're instagram here if we could find it she the first year at a crush on. And i remember when i invited her in the third grade to my literally game what who does and she came. Oh twice but not from me from the guy she brought and i remember. Nope was not happy about that. Ended up just like no no keep it in because it shows how real and vulnerable about this story she brings this dude and i literally say in the third grade joking but also very serious. I didn't say you could bring anybody. It would have been funny if i said. Hey i don't remember saying there was a plus one in like a fun jokey tone but it's the same thing but you don't have that where without in the third grade so i just say i didn't say you could bring anybody like cutting to the truth of the moment and no funny about it So making this dude not uncomfortable series five. Sure a third grade nine hundred eleven year old. Adam wasn't much of a threat. I'm sure you didn't miss robots aside and go fucking bears this kid. Were you a big boy when you were eleven. I wanna put up a picture. Third grade was. We'll put up a third grade pack. I've got those And then fourth grade is when the feeling started to taste real good. You'd put your you'd put eat a fucking doubled quarter. Sadness burger with a an get some super size fries. Quarter sadness burger wherewithal. You've tasted them all Fourth grade when things is probably when i start to really when it was when the teasing became more so because because it was kids are also more confident fourth grade third grade to throw insults out because they just are there just a little more in their own skin and a little more free with everything and and not understanding that there's ramification jr emotionally. I also was good at hiding and not making. It seem like it be bothered me. And i was just hold it until i went home and then i would Cry into my mom. Goes you know what You can't wear sweatpants at your barmitzvah. And i was like touche bitch but you know i never knew that. Being big was a problem until other kids when out of their way to say something and it was other kids or parents you know. 'cause parents also have no filter and an ability. Unfortunately to be to be honest you know. And i used to joke that that Some dads would say like you. Finish double fisting those granola bars. You get time for titty fuck it. We had to go to cosco twice this week. Just kidding on the salads. Just soups. And so i go. That's probably a good indication that it's time to take things down a notch and my mom goes. Let's let's get some healthier foods next thing you know i dropped forty pounds in nineteen ninety-six and here we are interesting so adam. Hose the drive up awesome. I i like driving best the moment number twelve the sax player for the dave matthews band. This was a great chat and told some great. Dnb stories in this clip. Enjoy jeff coffin. Just what's going through your head. You're like can i do both. I wanna do both. Is it like. Do you have to check in with the steven cooled it or is it like a have to make sure all the dates maxwell when i got called it was only supposed to be for a couple two or three months. 'cause roy was supposed to recover from his injuries and so the flexible ones are off that summer. So it was. It was easy for me to change stuff around and do it in and with roy past At the end of the year they asked me to stay on. And i talked to baylor in the guys about it and i said you know we're not doing a whole lot these days so you should do it because doing some his own projects on some my own projects. He said you should do this. You know it's kind of a once in a lifetime opportunity for for the way you play you know he said this is a great opportunity and so again talk about a great leader man. I mean it's amazing you know that's incredibly selfless you know yes because it who knows what would have transpired if if it hadn't been hadn't been that generous with rags move So then when once you make that choice. I mean is it just you know. I'm sure you know their music. Well enough but is it just like sitting down not really saying no. I didn't know their music. You know i. I knew a little bit of it because we had toured with them but the stuff. I was listening to his very different. I wasn't listening to pop music at all and So when i got the call. I literally have less than twenty four hours. Notice should next gig whole your could have friends wedding. So i had to have all my stuff driven from nashville to charlotte. I had fly down from boston. And so yeah it was. It was a little crazy crazy. Did you just kind of sit out and just listen to fucking hours of i just wrote stuff. I just wrote stuff out you know. Rashawn came in. Dave came in your was sean i just sketched out parts For few days had a mental three ring binder and a music stand in the light. And just you know. Play the gig at Just did what. I had to do to get through. But but everything that i had ever worked on allowed me to To to do that all the fundamentals by ability to read to write to listen etc etc To play all the horns and to say yes you know the power of yes. Men is very important especially in our business. How do that as well as i do. A thousand percent. How did that. I get go as far as where you kind of set on. Let me just get through this kind of you know. Not take any chances or not. You know Feel out some of these improvisational moments or to kind of dave. Look at you and go. Do you know what you're doing. Jump in yeah. That was what it was. Yeah sean for my cues and just kind of went from there. but it was very. it was very seamless. The first you know and it stayed that way. So so they're such an established group jumping into something like that as long as you have your gather. Then you can do it. You know and But i've never were taught her on a gig in my life. I'll tell you yeah. Yeah and then when. I had to learn the catalog the next year. One hundred and fifty tunes you know so every day for a month literally every day for a month three or four hours a day. I just put my ipod on shuffle and start playing along right because the twos are asymmetrical meaning that that you may have a lot of particular night. I'm staying another night. Oh no yeah thank you not anymore. You're not a podcast. I by the way getting out did awesome. What maybe like. There's a core. It's like this the tunes race metro. So maybe that in a chorus we would have a particular horn wrists. That in the next chorus doesn't happen. It happens in a completely different way right. You know so. It's not like you can learn one lick and just apply through everything else. What were some of the toughest tracks to learn to me but one in particular. The last stop is it's insane attitude. It's insane. I looked dear. God what is this. Yeah and i've played a lot of complex music. But i was like i don't understand what the hell's going. Yeah i remember. I remember when we would. We would play with them and they would play rapunzel and we would try to figure out like what time signature and and what is going on with that and so the way carter plays a five. But it's like it's a mangled fries. Yeah you know it as a kind of long five over short five so you have all this poly rhythmic stuff going on and So whether whether here's something in three or four 'cause there's a trip going on that african thing where there's like gunk gum gone gone gone gone gone gone to against three. That's going on there. So do you feel it in three you show in two and then when this line comes up with the rest of its into so you know you can't really write it out. Yeah i mean. There's so many songs that as a fan to. I know you know once you joined and you know there's certain moments and certain songs the the sacks are flu just like standout right a lot quite honestly i mean that's why i think so brain about the group and you mentioned like even those being offered up but every there's a- the band can't Exist without all the pieces like that and they everyone's got a a purpose with every tune but that like sax solo and You know this certain parts that really take it up a notch and ants marching. You know as a fan you're like that's like one of those staple moments for for The so yeah. I think a lot of fans were listening to be like i know for me. I'm like jeff fucking nails this. We're good to go the what do you do. You think about that at all. Going in or as you're just twenty and no not so much the same man like the the fans for unbelievable man. I mean. I can't thank the fans enough for everything because without here's the thing without fans we're playing for nobody you know and when i came in the fans knew the music better than i did and i feel like it was the same with the flex homes I feel like. I have an obligation to to learn the music to such a degree. Vat goes beyond their understanding of the music. You know know that that that goes to a degree that what i'm giving them is at the highest level in so i think we all feel that way and so so they were very supportive. While i learned the music and in august settlers. They're like okay ten on this the pronto on this one. I've got a sheet. That has all the tunes listed. That tells me what instrument i had to play on. Because at first i didn't remember yasser so many and sometimes i'd have worn every now and then it still happens. I'll have a horn. I'll be like oh shit. This is i'm barry. I'll have my soprano in my hand you know and But i used to have ask sean. Sometimes it'd be like assist ten or sopranos soprano nation. Yeah and So thank god for him to man because without him. I wouldn't have made its office yet. He's You know you and rashawn were to really jumped up that night. I met you guys at the gorge when we got to come over to your hotel after and party after which by the way like if any. Dnb fan is ever wondering what the true make a wish situation. Looks like i got delivered sending side stage with an earpiece to get you know which allowed friends and family that that got that backstage access. I was listening to a live album with the dvd commentary throughout. You know what i'm saying. Is you want a fan. You're watching you guys chad. And there's i mean it's like every fantasy is going nuts not getting access to the onstage. Discussions like what are they talking about. They talking about with the crowd is talking about the next song every fans trying to get the next back and you were so what really like surprise me. How cool and cash. I mean obviously like you walking out to this. You know. Insane crowd at the gorge. And and how can you not just be like jacked up. But i think you guys have done one song. I think open with to step. Maybe or don't drink the water and it was a fucking epic like there was a lot of solos. A lot of jams and at the end of min- member you all laughed. And dave was like all right. Shit you guys we done. That was. That was a lot laughing. Somebody said like how many more do we gotta do because it was a new all kind of laughed and all these are real loose here. Yeah yes loses a lot of a lot of funny things go on and it's you know it's not unlike playing a jazz gig small club. I always tell people it's like a seven p small group that's playing in front of twenty thousand people. It has that intimacy between us in. That's really important. That's an important element of of this bad in any other band to have familiarity and intimacy within the members and So it's so important to us. That's the moment number thirteen from roseanne. Scrubs the wrong mri on netflix. The hilarious sarah. John so you went from city boy to roseanne. That's fucking crazy. It's like me going from playing wolverine at universal studios to according to jim guest star. Fucking career rocketship. I had no fucking clue what i was doing. I literally get onto that. And it's like ten of the most incredible comedians who imagine and Yeah it was crazy like i. i remember. I was sixteen when addition to end The audition scene was with glenn quinn who played mark and he was eight years older than me. An irish in stunningly gorgeous and the whole scene was making out with him. It was literally like he's like baby. Baby come here. And i'm like get a job at the gas station. Get a job at the gas station. Being data there were eight becky's lined up in matching becky shirts like. They had us all pink. Hawaiian long-sleeve nike shirt and they'd put us through hair and makeup and they put us on the sound stage. Were calling up camera numbers and they were you know putting the laugh track and seeing if you could kind of make out with this handsome twenty world irishman while remembering your life so I did that audition. And i went home to candidate out for the night. So i got like to stay in the sheraton in the valley. And i couldn't believe it and then And they said we'll tell you in seven days and so the night before the seven days was up. They said get on a plane tomorrow and come do an audition with roseanne. So then it was down to four of us. We sat on the infamous couch. Oh my god and she was like how old are you. And i was like i'm sixteen and all the girls were twenty one and living in los angeles and she's like how'd you really and i'm like i mean the thought of lying about your age with never undergirds antics name. And so then they said okay. We'll take a week so they call me back and they say you got the job and i went to a party that night. I was in grade eleven. Which is canadian for eleventh grade. And i told people and it spread around our high school is it just sounded so weird right like it sounded insane. It's i mean it was the number one show at the time. And i was gonna take the place of becky like it. Didn't even make sense because they haven't announced they were doing that. And so it's alec ally so goes around our high school like crazy and on monday morning. The roseanne show calls me. And they said we're getting cold feet about changing becky's so we're gonna put on hold for four months and they give you ten thousand dollars to hold you for four months and we're going to tell you in september but we're gonna pay you putin. We hope anti lgbt which is like the maples. I'm familiar. I'm so i was like. Oh that's shitty. I was like so my ass is grass at high school. So everyone's like trying to pump you up to for four months. You have to kind of like. Go along like halfheartedly like yeah. It's gonna be great when it had if it happened yet and we'd already had this girl in our grade in like grade. Eight being on the menu. Pops remember the mini pops as the mini pops. It was this group of kids who sang covers addressing in like amazing eighty s. Where so cool and like we couldn't believe him so this one day rebecca said she was minicpap and she was not a mini pop. And so in my head. I'm like this is like mini pops times ninety. By the way. Would you commit to allies a kid. You gotta go for just the cast labour. Parliamentary told everybody is dead. invented little caesars. We had no reason to believe he did not because they have no ability to fact check. Stories like yeah. He also bragged that he was fucking in like the fifth grade. So we're like dude. He's got pizza pizza pussy coming up the yin yang. And and then like you get a high school and you're like little vision. I thought he did. I don't know i especially before google. Yeah no call anybody out. That is crazy. Wait so then okay. So then you get the job and that's just are you. Is that like a here. We go hollywood thing you move and you got to be an l. resident philoxenia. Yeah sort of so i. I was like sixteen seventeen when i started. My agent was like young twenties. And i said to him. What are these hiatus weeks. They speak up like. Can i go back to canada could they. Were shooting two or three weeks on one week off. And i was like. Can i go back to canada on those weeks. Because it was my grade twelve year and i want to graduate with my buddies and he was like i don't know and i was like can you find out because i can't do it if i'm not allowed to do that. And his jaw was like you. Can't you're not gonna. It's not gonna go do that. Because you want the parties at the power lines. So i found i could indeed go back on the highest week so i would fly out sunday night and i would do this. Weird milk run from like we drive from vancouver to bellingham and then the flight was like bellingham. Seatac I don't even understand. Why do we do that so it took forever and then we till for monday to thursday night was thursday night and then fly back friday morning and i go to school on friday afternoon in vancouver. Were taped electric. It was crazy. Right like oprah tapings. I feel like it was craziness i mean. People were palm like it was. It was obviously the audience. The live audiences were so so into it and they try to have as few people from the industry in the audience it was. You know they would have real fans laughing. Yeah and laughing and it was crazy like they do these introductions right at the beginning. Oh yeah a big. You've already forgot. I did one according to jim to come out. They announced the everyone goes nuts. Like why isn't this guy on the show. More get it. So it's like ninety him on the. Let's get him on was like. Hey what's by doing odd jobs. Do you want me to appointed the actual waterboy. What's he doing. Can you bring us some water. So when they announce your name and you come out for the first time is that is that just like you feel like you made it and you're like here we go right. It was. It was a combination of like such an incredible opportunity. Obviously and i learned so much. I mean just watching like laurie metcalf. I mean what she does with dial you read on the script and then she does it like. It's it's not even possible to be that young and get to watch. Those people. Work was incredible and at the same time. It was also really crazy as a kid who like you said like. I literally done nothing. I done city boy nudie but donald learning slow as learning on the job. So i definitely the piece that that was crazy was it was like stepping into not only amazing writing and incredible cast but the number one show and so the the what the cast had to do to kind of keep their safety and their you know their privacy. It was the first time i'd ever seen any of that. So everybody who get in their cars and roseanne header chauffeur and and you know the like tinted windows and and be so private and that piece as a young kid was a little bit. I hadn't seen anything like that but that was that. I think that was the hard part the best part about it obviously was all the obvious things. It was incredible opportunity. And i fucking loved it but the hard part was more like stepping into a job like that and all of a sudden going from complete obscurity to people. Recognize you in the street when you're kind of like at that age where you just kind of want to blend our thinking. You're becky and not sarah right so it's like. There's that to where your family's even like if you can buy john goodman over for thanksgiving that'd be great and you're like i mean i'll see what i can do but you know he's you know he's doing the good man man good Charity dinner this year so What tyler that's that's kind of the same for you. Yeah like being on. I mean so. Many sandler sets and directing all the chelsea lately sketches. Do you both feel that everything you've done prior to this like do you like this movie because you both at a place where i feel like got all the goods now. To where like yeah. Don't really. I'm kind of relying on everything i've done to this point at obviously like every experience you can attack on more stuff to feel like entrust yourself more. Betide were you. This is the only thing i've ever showing anybody ever again else. I've done a racing off the internet. No i'm trying to just wash. I agree pratt and all the other stuff but what about your mice space. Valentine's day video was not bad. That was great. That's what i used to act. Sarah first activity as soon as we hang up thai thai. I met he. I mean when my space was a thing and people got some comedy videos up tie was had a four five pop up in that main feature page and this valentine's day video was great. You're like oh. This is what i was like. Oh always. he's a filmmaker too. I thought he was just an actor. But well i didn't direct that in it. Yeah i was. Well i wrote it and my buddy payment. That's right. oh that's a really great director to us last night on earth does throw can show now. He directed it. We're both doing. We're both doing nothing him as a man okay. So how much during when you're Assistant directing on all these sandler films. How much are you trying to take all the experience. You're watching a lot. Obviously you're having to run the ship to how do you balance out of trying to just like. Are you making notes. Are you putting stuff in your phone of like. Oh shit that was a new thing. I picked up today. Or is it all just like po- shoot you. Maybe sit down with adam or or producers and kind of rehash the days you can kinda go all right flexing that muscle for next time. You know what i do is called second interacting which is basically like they send you off lake. Anything may forget right like. Let's say they forget a shot of jennifer aniston's hand. We have a double or something or like you know or the stunt so the helicopter shots so cool because the director you know the first thing that director will tell you exactly what they want and so you really get to learn from them and you know just try to execute their vision and you get a lot of tips along the way you know with. They'll tell you like. Oh we want the leading to do this. You're like okay. that's a lot of that. Like maybe try this angle into get through. Got us a smart angle. So it's cool benefit of. I've done eight of them. You know learning for maybe six or seven great directors. I mean. I got the opportunity. Delake i shadowed. Seth gordon who's amazing like i really got gotten an opportunity to shadow a lot of great people. Yeah i i got to hang out on funny people a little bit too in seattle. Were even on his whatever but like it was just cool to see how he does it you know just trying to like emulate them a little bit. Hey guys adam ray here for the about last night. podcast hope. You're enjoying this episode. Obviously it's a very difficult time for everyone right now. We're all challenged in finding a day to day routine that that makes our lives Consistent and awesome. And if there's something that's interfering with your happiness right now or preventing you from achieving your goals. Better help doing. Is there for you. A better help is a professional counseling service online privates and it's so convenient I've used it for a little bit. Now it's truly the only way that i found to help get My own issues dealt with on my own time at my own pace. You can schedule. Secure video were phone sessions. Plus text with your licensed professional counselor right now. They're specialized in depression. Anger stress anxiety family conflicts. 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Take me back to the day where you would like to isn't enough what we need to just come in and it's important. How long are you going to be. You know i'll just get it. Yes look we need. We need to be outnumbered. Yeah we need these we need. We need to be outnumbered so they can plot how they're get cats each when you if you pass away in your home. I read that once. I also know that. I try not to think about that. That's fine there are little kitties. Don't think about her weight. So give me your cats names again. Bungalow griffey and mia great cabinet small. Do you have a favorite same way. People have favorite kids. I mean i got. We got bungalow. I and so there. I have a little bit of that. Like first child dawned. And she's like she's like me she's very neurotic. We had to put her on anxiety. Medication for awhile. And i haven't ever had actually had anxiety medication. There've been times where i showed up. And i'm like she really is like my little daughter in both beyond like if we were both on anxiety medication sometime. I mean that's the opening of your pilot. Like your pocket. You're taking the thing out of a counter and you open it and you go over like you guys. It's like the bean at the beginning of one hundred went on Owners look like their dogs. Yes it's like that with my cat. Twitchy and like anxious have racing thoughts racist thoughts racing thoughts. Yeah anyway what's the second cat up do well. That's a little more anti semitic Little more like progressive. But you know like gays can kiss. Just don't fucking me. That's what your cat thinks. Wait so griffey griffey a little more. Chill lamar shell nia as the one that we got that is what tipped the scale into the three cat- category i they ambush with these adoption. Said i went to pet code of ice on cat food. And i see this cat in a little kennel. And she's the most beautiful cat i've ever seen in my life. I'm just like you're not. You're not supposed to be here your your mind. You're you're supposed to be mine and then you know half hour. Baker work later have cats for all right. See that's really sweet though. And i'm never gonna knock someone for rescuing an animal like that and you're probably i mean. Look you brought her into an immediate situation. Where those i mean. Two buddies was how to assimilate though it takes a little time. There's about a week and pissing. It's kind of a nightmare true. Why claw now do how much of this did you hear in the first twenty four hours so much. Oh my god ungodly amount. Yeah it was. It was a lot but now they like they're all friends. It's good. I love them very much. Do feel like pets your dog. I'll pickles every video. You pose unlike not even a real dog is so cute. It's the cutest documents not real. She's she's real sweet. She's now what is she. She's a king cavalier. Poodle mix caputo. She's sweet dogs growing up old english. Sheepdogs always consider masui lover. Yeah oh they're just the cutest georgia and gracie were the last two named after george burns gracie allen like comedic duo from the what sixties for that. Our dog names. I don't know if my dad named him this or my mom. But she be and samantha. What great names right. And they were big. And it's it sounds like to of like if you go to a brothel on your who's working tonight. They're like she be or samantha. You're like god you said she. You're like well. I'm gb but y- all right. I'm just going to go to denny's driving there. I'm working to no no And by the way that's not to knock anyone who works at a brothel. Because i'm sure a lot of them are listening right now. How dare you dare you turn audience. I'll take it. Hey of you baby sit. Compliment corn competition now. Best moment number fifteen. He just dropped his second special on youtube All shot on a rooftop in new york city arguably one of the best joke writers in comedy. Everybody loves him conan fallon. He's done all It's the hilarious cameron. I was a two lane for like a year and a half and they. They did some dark shit. I remember like years later kids. I knew got in trouble. I didn't hang out with them. But i knew these kids from like the dorms and they were like in trouble for with on. Cnn article they gave the third degree burns. Hazing how is that hazing. Just gonna fuck. And i'm going to dump this bucket spaghetti on your head hazing if anything that somewhat refreshing depending on how you were raised to like the really you know the physical acts like that like when somebody would make somebody like try to drink a gallon of milk it's like and then he and then it sounds so silly then you see on. Cnn like kid dies from chugging too much all sport and you're like dude. I don't even know they're selling that still first of all. He opened those surge there. Were these vans drinks. Remember jolt old. One jolt was actually jolt found. Its way into a couple of happy meals and by that. I mean meals that i had that i was having a great time with where i was like. You know what. I think george can wash down. Whatever i'm having. I'm not gonna have somewhat of a panic attack before i go to sleep like that was like you don't realize you're drinking like to a two and a half cups of coffee or whatever one software. Oh yeah and an energy drink. It was like i mean who knows what the slogan was but it was like you know having nightmares wanna to get rid of them but also find a way to swim to kabo in the middle of the night. Have you started eight businesses online with no money you remember seven our energy or six our energy whatever was yeah that was like a fucking that was there used to be commercials of that everywhere. You know some cd should happen. Oh yeah it's like the with you know the gover- the fda or whether it's like yeah. You can't advertise ever. How did you even hear about surge like what was your in sort of that product. I think they had those old commercials where they'd go jap all shit looks cool. Yeah everyone's freaking out. We had a van. Full the strangers pull up to our eighth grade gym and get out in surge van which by the way do she as it was just like we saw the guy get out. And we're like dude you know. He just crushes lagged. He's got all the surge girls numbers and he just is spinning a rotating dick to to all his friends but they gave out all this research. And we're in eighth grade so it's free shits. You're fired up not even remember coming home with a backpack full of it. My mom was like you're not drinking. That i was like. It's sodas she's like. Let me look at the ingredients like okay sodium crack. You know it was just like shouldn't be an graduated in the four loko. They was like whoa gwen. Are we going to combine all this shit. Four loko was like the marriage of the alcoholics. And just the. Kansas have loved four loko who drank that uncle's uncles and substitute teachers. Yeah kids who just want to get fucking blasted. Yeah the success the surge success as it was called i think took us into some dark times. It only we were one cool. Rapper away from four. Loko sticking around because look at fifty cents. He's like vitamin water. vitamin water. you saved it. But he had. He had a stake in it though they gave him ask. You wanted money or a percentage and he's like oh clearly take your percentage. I have influenced. Yeah inaugu enrich you need like. Yeah we need something. Who do you think could've saved four. Loko what what celebrity slash. Rapper could've taken four logo out of the gutter and back to the top. I'll tell ya everage mountain de. Mx believed it. It would have been like he would scream. You would like yeah. That should that looks fun. That's the moment number. Sixteen from his podcast. You up. And the j train His instagram full of bachelor commentary. Guy makes me laugh so much and we had a great time in this clip. It's jared freed. I love watching these shows so much. I got like as a kid would always watch them. And like just growing up. And then whenever i would date like a new girlfriend and i would sit with her and watch her shows and kind of like i would just chirp make fun of yet and it was always when i was at my funniest. Yeah so i was like ottawa. That's why i've now. I'm like how do i do that in front of an audience of some sort and that's kind of the the bachelor thing like i used to live tweet it and like it was doing okay but then like being able to scream at it while the instagram stories is going. Like i can't like fucking stop while of doing that with all infomercials late night. total you ever see the one with the magic bullet where the the woman we talked about this. My did yeah. That's my favorite one of all trained. Yeah there are certain like you do the road a lot in by the way. You're an incredible stand up. People don't have a chance to To go see jeff live. Make any present itself to yourself But going to your website was a jeffrey dot com. Please come to my shows. No you got great energy. Thank you when you hold it on your point of view. But i feel like you've been maybe it's an east coast thing to maybe like the confidence was always there. Yeah i i was always you know loud and opinionated this about making those opinions in the family. Funny no no no family listening. Always i just watch because my mom's a performer. She's not like she doesn't go on stage but she's just she's just a character so like what's that camp and she like she performs she is she like she's the person like i. I've said this a million times with girls growing up would know who she was. Like your weight. Your your kim saw no like. She's just funny person like without knowing she's funny funny. Mom is a big deal to yeah. You know i think that's where you We all probably because you're so here's the thing you're like the going up you're like you have to be the wrangler for funny mom. Yeah like you have to be like. I mean my mom. Put me in positions where i'm like. I can't believe. I'm your assistant in this fucking scheme. Yeah like we were once walking out of the casino lot. We'd go to. My dad loves gambling so like we go to like casinos in connecticut and we would just begin. Son mohegan sun on the shows there so i used to go. That's how i got into that club. Wow my dad was like my son is comedy and six months and doing comedy. They were like. Yeah we'll put them hosted a weekend. That's awesome for david brenner. Headlining oh so like that number weekend at a at a club ever in this is where in mohegan sun in connecticut and so no this was foxwoods and then moved over to mohegan sun but my my parents go we go to the casino for weekend like hang out and on the way out like my mom would like take a bag full of things and one time. The bag like broke open like kinda like like literally like sitcom style a souvenir glasses or what the scale from. The room fell out of the bat. Oh my god. And she's like gale scale. My grandmother was there to my mom and my grandmother and all of a sudden the thing brooke and the scale like the digital scale that was in the room flops out and they're like i'm putting it away. I don't know it'd be like security is do you need help. And she's like no no no. I'm watching this whole thing on like there's something wrong with you people robes. It's not the fucking scale and that'd be great. That'd be great if it's still the made just running around in the lobby. This is like so like that type of shit where jewish mom crimes. Yeah malaria stealing a scale is a very jewish monk. Listen in me included. Where where exactly are you from. Outside of boston needham outside boston and then i moved to. I went to penn state the ones to new york and depending what years we there. I graduated no seven. Oh yeah cool. I'm older than you go score. A is there something about l. a. And you guys can speak to this that east coast people like i'm sure you had your Your trepidation and your preconceived notions coming before you came here for the first time sharing mentioned pre uber. How it obviously wasn't as flattering a place to reside in but like what. Where do people put. I know how. I felt from the west coast of mike from the mid west. Like where do where does la. What are your visions thoughts of it living on the east coast. Just what you see on tv. I'm telling you. I feel like an idiot now thinking of that. I used to think like the beach. Zack morris What up dude. Hey bra hang loose will. Yeah yeah troop beverly hills. That's what i'm thinking of. Ted danson dancing troupe. Beverly wwl's lighter suits Nice cars no thought of anything else. Existing like literally was land. There's a beach. Anzac zack is hanging out waiting for moms low riders and crips and bloods. Wow it's different perspective. Well on the west divided ask feeling anxiety stress up and down people constantly asking for blowjobs for the simplest thing. Like i'll take eight dollars on that. He's like you gotta suck my god. Big constantly. group presented that world horrifying. I just thought that it would be in minus the blowjobs has been all the guy at the sonoko station. That's who told me best moment number. Seventeen guy has been all over television and movies. You'll recognize them. And you recognize voice from his podcast inside of you. Michael rosenbaum but i remember. They called they go. Hey you have an additional. Mtv's trying to sit com a remember. I walked in. I had long hair at the time. And i had a gasoline shirt. Some of that right. And i i had a bag of doritos. I've yours stole it from planet holly. I had a bag of doritos and during the interview and audition. Hey i supposedly this donor and cashier tremendous shots. They call you got. It was for undressed. Knows called talk girl. Talk girl and i was the stone cameraman who just had fifteen twenty nine by the end of it for some reason. Love me they just kept adding adding. They didn't pick up the show. They get got my own. Show that president of comedy central now can alternate produce with louis theroux who did tv nation. They produce this show of me. It was i'm telling you it was. It didn't get picked up but it tested through the roof. It was ahead of. Its time it was called. Working stiff was about a guy who takes over. Someone's it was reality. Show a guy who takes over someone's job. I was a cat on in. I saw that in. Cath in the umbrella on broadway performed. Not as a joke performed a name the the choreographer. I worked with her for six hours. I learned this fucking dance. They'll run tom tug. I'm like i'm doing this. All this is going to ask. How do i have. I have it somewhere. I sorta got a post that how much obviously you're theater background plays a part in this but are you like had seen the musical or did you ever seen and i was just tell you want to be funny but the funny came out of me really being serious can't sort of had the just tone me down like hey let's just let this thing so when they're putting the thing on me they put the mask on so it's very subtle. You know. I feel like i feel like a cat. Now i feel like fucking cat. I don't know what happened when they put this on. But it was real. I was like i teared up. I was like going for you. Seem they fill me onstage and the director comes up to me before the show and goes. Hey i know what they're doing. I know what's going on. He didn't know he knew but thanks for the coffee. It's beautiful thank you he goes. You cannot fuck this up. Don't try to be funny. Don't try to mess up the show. This is very serious. Do not fuck around. A lot of lives are at stake. People have worked very hard to. I was like holy shit. What if you just went. No problem could you imagine if this memories adam and dave it was just like one of those things that was. It was just memorable. I i remember. They didn't pick it up and they offered me to be. Vj and i remember having a conversation. I had no money did i. Was i was growth. Shadow broke. shit. What did paulie short the original. Vj you gotta honor my memory bro. Any advice for mike that he could've used back in the day and he added fucking be. Vj big movie star. Like i was and then if he's going to spring break in kabul to be a vj. What's like the two things you back. Do you pack magnum condoms. And um sunscreen. Don't get some on your deck. Do you know i went. I have film. I had somebody tape it on spring break. Polly was there and i. it was nineteen ninety one. Did tony beach. And i went. And i got up to the stage and he's a cab or hearing mtv. And i'm right here my face. And i have it on film and be going with. Shore showrooms on top of the world. I made it. I'm on tv. Yeah i really if people saw that was huge and dude but when they offer that. Vj part. I had to really have a serious conversation. I have studied acting. I want to be an actor. I don't have any money dude. And i don't know if if they're gonna ever take me seriously if vj. I just thought that occurred to me and he goes. Do you want to be a vegan. i go well. I think it'd be great. I think it'd be fun but and it came down to it and it was a lot of money like seventy thousand dollars to me. That was fucking everything in nineteen thousand nine hundred ninety six for years. Like seventy seven thousand. Maybe something like that did their love by. I said no i said no. Thanks i remember going. Fuck man that would have been. Maybe the best thing i ever did with my life best moment number eighteen. This guy is just a hollywood staple His dad's kurt russell. Assistance kate hudson. He's been so many tv shows and movies that It makes you jealous. But he's a great dude was a hilarious chat. It's oliver hudson my parents. It was their job to do the best that they could to bring us back down to reality. Christmases were great. You know but. I keep it normal inside the family in the house. It was as normal as it got. You know what i mean and it was What about at school and how many people were like. Do you want. Yeah dude well. Russell dog always crazy. I mean it was crazy. My thing was is. I railed against that i. I didn't want anyone to know who my family was. It was it was. I wanted to try to make my own way. I didn't want people liking me for you know. My parents were not happy. That started at a very early age finance crazy. But i had to deal with that shit all my life i still do but you become like a a like a master. I mean it built my intuition. You know you. I feel like i can read people better than most because i've had to use repercussion of people right coming at yeah and then sometimes you fail and then those failures you you even build up more of sort of that that those into intuitive calluses were announced. Like oh shit okay. Now i know. I know who you are now. This is what something to look out for you. You can get jaded by. How would you see that highlighted with kids. Because that's fascinating where it's like a kid picks you first and kick ball even though you. You've clearly got a bum leg day. But did you to come over. You've always had this competitive and then you get on the sidelines and you're about to go to bat. He's like a Had a captain ron dvd. Oh that's why you picked me like how would you break down crying old captain. Dvd's vhs right back. Danny aveer sure closed beta one question. Did you get weapons. Oh yeah not too much. But kurt was curtain. They were they believed in discipline. But nothing crazy but you know it was like today right today I have three kids. Yes and we live in this progressive world right now in los angeles which a lot of it is great. You know some of it. I think though we need a little bit more disciplined. I think a lot of these kids are just running wild. Because they haven't asked no exactly parents. I think are too scared. Even to raise their voices to just say look. I'm the man. I'm the authority you know you are not you. Don't get to just piss off. Piss on everything i get to piss on everything because my house. Get to what your. It pee in your bed and you gotta sleep absolutely. That's right my father seventy years old. I'm still screw them up but no skirt we'll see. I'm not sure i can fuck my dad. I i don't know kurt. He's he's pushing seventy but he's he's a he's a bulldog dude that guy i wouldn't i wouldn't wanna step toyotomi ever worked out with them now. Is there anything that you beat you. It and then you got older and you beat him like you beat them in basketball. Yeah well yes did he let you know there. There are certain things that i could take him. You know but but He was a professional baseball player. Throw shit shit. yes so Oh was great dude of grit funny story. I played varsity baseball. There was this kid named gilly. He was a pitcher and he was a punk. He was just a dick. His name was gilly and kurt came to help out with these practices because he really knew what he was doing. Yeah and the guy was pro ball player and he could and he was helping our team a little bit gilly started to fuck with kerr and start to bad mouth them and calling him old man and you can't hit me the whole thing. It was ignoring it for a minute. And i was like oh shit. Don't poke the bear too much. Because this could get bad. He pushed one. You push the button one too. Many times kurtz like i. let's go you little punk and then gillies steps up on the mound and now i'm nervous because i don't want my dad look like an asshole and get smoked but it did not turn out that way. I mean everything. He threw it. Kurt slap over slap over two opposite field and incurred starts calling his shit. Like y'all gonna want me to pull one deep though what else. Hey yeah and by the way. This is a high school kid. Fifteen sixteen years old. But he's now he well he also nobody but gilley. My dad now is talking to him like he's in his twenties saying if you wanna step to me you're gonna feel the wrath and i'm not gonna be easy on you because you're fifteen then he starts like just cursing and sort of saying fuck you this this and that calling his shots. Oh he's the best this kid tombstone thunder that's right. There's some lines i was. I was a proud proud sun. I mean i was on the proud sun tells you how much being around the business of that age to. Did you always want to be an actor or was it just kind of like the world to dope. Now i was i was. I wanted to make movies. That's what i did was a when my sister was was was doing plays and stuff i was. I was making movies every weekend with my friends across the street. I'd cameras and filters and squibb's back. Then dude you could buy. You could buy blank. Beretta's like off the mail out of the male so we had like an arsenal of real guns. That just shot blanks at the age of twelve and thirteen years. The fun home news. You're making crazy. She'll have any of those tapes. Oh yeah oh yeah we used to. We used to shit because we wanted to squibb to explode. But we couldn't afford like you know real so we will get fireworks and we would create blood. Pacts with the platelet ziplock bags and mixed blood and water. Put him underneath the wardrobe The hole in it and then put these fucking like m. nine weren't m. eighties but they were just below the break here and then we'd light it and camera cameron fucking run and the actor would be sitting there. The thing burning. It was usually me or it's gonna explode trying to like play heating fucking boom. It blows innovative now way we used to do all kinds of crazy crazy thing was always in contact with the story or is it just like an excuse to allows dinner scene then his heart fucking did we. We didn't do anything that didn't involve gore. Blood squib firecrackers. What is it with like. I mean it's probably dude thing. Because i remember when mortal kombat came out i was like oh the world is changing for the better like it was you know. And i don't. I don't remember not knowing one dude. That wasn't just like the next day at school. Act you do. It left br then you can pull his head on shoving his ass and then plugging and then call up his ex ex and her in front of me. It's crazy you're like the code. Put the blood coat on over. Yeah the book of genesis. They had a regular. Yeah and then you put the blood coating and then you could do the fatalities and everything else. Yeah yeah that was the thing between any s intendo and The blood sega boko. Julia kids play games. Yeah dude. I'm i'm i've different way. Parenting yeah you know what i mean like my kids watch rated r movies like i curse in front of them. I'm cursing in front of them. I say look. I curse you. Don't and that's just the way it is. I'm an adult you. I don't smoke cigarettes anymore. But when i was smoking cigarettes equity year ago. I'm not hiding on my fucking smoke and you shouldn't but this is my life and smoke you guys. I know it's it's bad. But i i'm i'm i have cocktails in front of my kids. I won't smoke weed in front of my kids. Like actually light up a joint in front of the kids. But i smoke in my room though and they know what the smell when they when they're of age they're going to be like oh shit that's what he was doing my entire life. You can tell that you know when they know you're smoking pot or when they smell it when you get Knocks on your door like three m. we make the tina's pizza rolls. You want those all of a sudden best a moment number nineteen. There's nothing this guy won't put up his but man. They revolutionized the game with jack ass and then he turned his career one eighty and started crushing standup and his latest special. The bucket list tour. Remember the name of the special but the tour was the bucket list where he did some of the most insane. Stunts and accumulates over the craziest stories. You'll ever hear one of them. In this moment that he tells for the first time on a podcast. It's my buddy the crazy. The funny stephen and the story of my entire fucking career and now like mike i gradually i've mapped out the follow up our like with which i d- picturing. Steve has gone too far to. It's almost like high level lowbrow. There's something there like dude like. I'm talking about straight up like way too far like not that. I'm not even fucking royd unless it's like way to david. Blaine type shit for comedy lie. I don't wanna give everything away but like you know like there's flying a plane will jerking off guy now. I'll tell you one thing that because because it's important that it be thematic as well like when i come out on stage the bucket list for my first joke is carmen. This fucking fucked up situation. I'm stevo in my forties and it's like. Oh wow you think about it like it's funny and it's true. Yeah and it's like feels like the grow with you right. And i'm like you know like me and my forties say can only go one of two ways. I stopped doing the dumb shit. I'm known for or it has to get so fucked up because the bars that high you know and like let's face it. I'm running out of time before it gets creepy and watch me do the. I don't know though. I don't know either. But as on the hurry up program to try to knock out everything you had seventy five doing this could be when it really just goes george burns. I never add. Is he wearing the makeup from the original movies. No that's what he looks like. Steve five oh when you turn fifty that can be in. My forties gets big laughs. Stevo says it depends on where you win right. But that's like the premise. It and like and what ties through the whole bucket list show is that i'm now engaged you know. I've got a fiancee and like thank you. It's it's like inconceivable that these stunts. I carried out for the bucket list show that i went out and filmed like with the fucking having general anesthesia. Drugs administered into an ivy while. I'm riding a bicycle. You know which was so fucking illegal so truly fucking and like and like i mean across everything across the boards is so fucking a high level on this bucket list. That like for me to have done all these things which i did. There's no way it couldn't have like stirs implications on my relationship. The through line is and the first bit is like how i knew. My girl was the one a simple bit. Where like. I don't know how it didn't happen before the shit hit the fan. You know like none of my buddies have none of us ever shit on a fan and so i'd fuck it didn't ship for three days i choose laxatives. I got a crew. I'm thinking i got the pinpointed straight up. I think it's a little fall out and come straight back up and you know and like it came out like and dislike. You flew sideways people standing around. Everyone's running for their lives except for my girl stood there and took it. I'm like that's the one that time issues the one and then i'm like you know with the biggest conflict that we had was like when you know and then i knew that we resolve the conflict when she helped me with the bit. Yeah and then moving on from there and like now we're like You know now we're engaged you. You can't commit to spending your life with somebody unless you agree on the kid question. Yeah neither is want any part in that so in order to promote spay and neuter because we both love animals so much like and we don't want to have kids like i found the oldest idea on my bucket list which was the vasectomy olympics. By which is the one that beijing in and twenty twenty eight. And that's the clip show where routinely four-grand men fucking faint. They fucked them fall unconscious and the worst part about it. Is that a lot of them. They feel because they see you know the they feel like oh. I got to get up and walk to the bathroom and they fucking faint. While they're standing hit their head and shit and that more people taken away from my fucking show on a stretcher in an ambulance because they've fuck in like fainted fell like seizures like whatever way in the crowd like not. I don't know if it's more cities than not after seeing the vasectomy really cultivated of i because you play a video of every bit screened the footage of the taking place. They got it did. There's every shiju plastered all over the convenience showroom our legal waivers like fucking by foods is to make people more excited to walk in. And i warned motherfucker shopping like dude. Like you're going to see some stuff you're gonna stop what's going down in the where i don't know if i've ever heard a joke. I was kid and the joke was. What is the definition of macho. It's a man who jogs home from his own vasectomy and heard it. When i was i was in seventh grade and i was twelve and i didn't sesame was but i fucking wanted to be macho so i never forgot that joke and that i've went on to jog. I'm going to do way more than john. And i had like an idea to like. Run through an obstacle course. Clo- like sydney sydney shared strip. Put blue on my lap and jumping diving. Pop the balloon. All my guy accidents way. You're having my buddy. Chris pontius can do the bareback horseback riding and my gown straight out of the procedure like a row around this big track to a fucking kids party which like the balloon. Yes for the fucking party balloon and had a destination and they dress up as a as a fucking human pinata and hung up down on my feet the whole concurrent kids a fucking whack me in the balls with a stick and we got like the of all this and then at the end of the video like you see the procedure. Nec two minutes later. And i do fucking double bag thing rice. Catch my dick and balls. Truly the highest. I've seen it twice. Live unsee it. I did that you minutes address me was over in a fucking hospital waiting room. But those are your insurance premiums like antenna and then two minutes later and then there's two hours later and that's where two hours later i get on the horse and then the balloon and the kids party and then there's two days later and you see my balls like fucking like the big. It pays off their purple. I like these were. This is purple. Did the bed super pays off and it's really fun and funny. It's like second doesn't sound funny. But i'm really proud of this. The moment number twenty from her netflix special sweden salty. The netflix. after show the lately Office christmas party the mindy project. She's in everything she so funny. And so sweet and she was guest number two in the end of this Twenty twenty year always funny a lover fortune teamster and so i was doing like co shows every night for years that is not making any of course driving to great lengths to go do a little bit of time. A lot of companies. Don't get paid for many longtime used to santa barbara for eight minutes to do this barsha and it was never good spot. I'm doing the road you do that. 'cause you wanna make it. You want to be able to do the thing you love and get to the point where you're getting paid to to do it. And and so. I just kept grinding. And and you're gonna get nose. I knows all the time and and it sucks and it's never easy and i don't certainly been devastated by bad news business so when he or you're crying like a baby because your you know your thing this beloved thing that you worked on for so long just gets a no like that and you're just like your you feel almost hopeless hairlines about this but i worked so hard how come they respect the effort and i just i think because there's so many no's in this business you can either sit in that and be really miserable or you can be like what what what i do now and figure it out a dancing ice cream video. Yeah that come. That truly is maybe my no joke in my top five. Everything's on the. Oh yeah yeah. I don't ever w will describe daisy. I'm sure we were like what the spoiler special And which is sweet and salty on fox now where okay. I have a few more question before we. We're up a few minutes. Left the ice cream dancing was that just out of like i need some content. No it was again jillian bills storage. He's a big part of my life. Just bring her out an wear you. She's filming a movie in boston. We went to disneyland and we were super hot. This was a couple of years ago and there was the parade was coming. Do and i was like it. Wasn't there yet. And i'm getting ice cream. I don't know you guys are doing. So i got ice cream and as i came out of the ice cream parlor at the parade was coming and it was all this music so they were all tired and sitting down and i started eating my ice cream and eating ice cream and the parade of the music. Just happy that. I started dancing eating my ice cream. Not a care in the world. I didn't know anyone was watching me like nobody's while they were filming me and i didn't know it and and they sent me the video and they go. This is the greatest thing. I've ever seen so posted a online. Because you do need that content. Do and i think i've gotten more comments on that than anything ever posted. Then it became a thing when disneyland is your backdrop. That's a pretty epic place too great place but also like public dancing and not giving a fault people who for whatever are mesmerized by that yeah like look at this. They even care. There's people around looking at her and she doesn't care but then it's evolved because you put one out there like okay. Well now that one. I have always tried to come up with gimmicks like in your pool right. Yeah i mean whatever it takes whatever it takes to get those in story that you had the pool built for the ice cream video. that's it. The only reason she kids you got to want it and then do it. You too can dance allies. The band was added boo suggestion the youtube the band. Yeah you to ban. Oh you know you as well you know you can grab a cone shaped bunk. Always looking out for bano special. I real quick. Your your mom sounds like a hero g. My mom is my hero. A single mom multiple jobs champion you. She's in the special a lot Discuss which is just great. Your voice of her is like you know. I want my julie mom from oklahoma limited seattle. And it's like a really. I appreciate that your act out so so strong but you also doing the voice it. It helps so much. When you're telling the story think it also helps like for us to kind of get into it and take yourself back there but The debutante thing is that's all all everything in the specials true which is so crazy or based on of course take these gains world was crazy to me the swim story again. You have to watch it but debutante that world is so insane to me. Because all i've seen his trs or other spooky shows that are poking fun. Yeah and that wasn't originally going to be part of my special buy producers It was produced by Pager what's wanda sykes. And the i've been friends with them for a long time and paid pages league. You gotta talk about these other things in your life. That i know people don't know and i was like what no already have and so i wrote those jokes like three weeks before we filmed the special and one was the debutante Because i am technically a debutante which seems crazy to tell or fucking cocky. Yeah and you know so. That's my senior high school having to learn to be a lady. I don't think it took so weird because we were poor but long story short. My family used to have money back in the day. Lost it all as you do. Lucky us and so. By the time i was born there was no money. But they have that Part as part of their history mom had been a debutante so oftentimes. If your mom was one they asked. The daughter broke so it was a. I was living in two very weird worlds. That were very different from each other. People have to watch special to get a true sense of that world but yeah the debutante yeah like a being presented to society as a young lady bash and that yeah it l costs money and souders like do you mind if i eat the garbage can is. It took it out of the jokes about it before people going. Where else like. I didn't know how my mom would pay for it. i'd go to etiquette class and come home and the couch would be gone. I was doing it for audiences. They like oh. I just like that the Let me just. But it was like. She was like working late as a as a as a teacher. And then as a waitress. I sort of like a sizzler. Type restaurant to pay for this for me to for us to keep up with the joneses as they used to call announced the kardashians To you know to save phase like we were still doing all right and This tomboy who was working at a recreation department gone. What is what are we doing. Here is a lot. Yeah well you turn out great you postures great. I think i love you so much. I love you. You're specialist so good. Thank i Everybody needs to wash it. Sweet and salty will I think will include a little teaser in this audio and you don't have to be gate. Enjoy i promise you. It's not just gay jokes. I love that. You said that. But see and i again seeing you knowing you know how much you have to offer across the board now. I want to have suffer everybody. I don't want to paint myself into one corner. there's no nothing about. i would never watch go against right. This is like i call my gaping right. Here's this best geico yes well. That's it for part. Two of the best of two thousand twenty. hope you enjoyed. go follow all the comedians. You heard track them down Enjoy their goodies That they have to bring in twenty twenty one again. Follow me on instagram and twitter at adam rick comedy and And we got a couple of big episodes coming your way shawn camp melissa mccarthy and and more surprises so stay tuned the pods making a jump In the next couple of months to a big platform which could be more stuff coming. And i can't wait so thanks for another great year of support. You guys listening and Here's to survive in the pandemic way to bring down at him. Get out of every body.

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Peter Paige

Homophilia

1:00:20 hr | 1 year ago

Peter Paige

"This episode is sponsored by Gay Real Estate Dot Com. If you're thinking about buying a home or selling a relocating to another city you can connect with the top. Lgbtq REALTOR AT GAY REAL ESTATE DOT COM WITH NO COST OR OBLIGATION. They offer free. Homebuyers representation have been serving the LGBTQ community for over twenty five years. In fact they support twenty over twenty one up to twenty two national. Lgbtq nonprofits now. One thing I have to research about them. Do they have anyone who specializes in Valley village? If you wanna live near Dave and Ben and also Jackson Brittany Jacks and Brittany Arianna. Tom and Katie. If you want to live in the vendor pump village The Vendor Palm Valley Guess Checkout Gay Real Estate Dot Com and when you're ready to make the largest purchase of your life connect with an agent at Gay realestate Dot Com. Oh Hey matt low day how are you? I'm good feeling the love isn't this event. Is this probably airing around Valentine's around Valentine's Day Love Love Love? It actually is valid day. We're as we speak fantastic. Guess we'd better get our our our chocolates and our our teddy. Bears are restaurant reservations in order. You GotTa get that. Shit sorted out early and that mistake literally. Every year this year we got on the stick a couple of weeks in advance excellent you have to otherwise. You're having dinner at four thirty but if you don't you can watch a movie on reform called the thing about Harry corralitos written and directed by this week's guest will come back to him. Dave what's going on you? I couple things in the world of television I can announce I think I am coming back to Reno. Nine one one Nine one one has been rebooted for quimby. Yes I quit. Be Show just about to shoot that very excited and that is what you all I can say. Oh it's It's going to be very very very funny. I well in the original run. I was a guy named Leslie. Frost who was the new husband of dangle played by Tom Lennon ex wife got played by Rachel Harris. So they divorced. She married me then he and I started seeing each other. She divorced me and started going out with Scott Thomsen. So she's just. This woman who marries only exclusively game at sure makes a lot of sense. Yeah Yeah She unfortunately died toward the end of the show's run a murder mystery. It was amazing. Ultimately was her stomach staples came undone in the middle of Dinner. And she bled out internally. I hope I can't say who playing this new but it's it's really really really going to be fun socks so excited so this airs. You will have just shot it. Probably it'll just shot at you but the thing that I'm watching right now and it's the only thing I want to talk about is I think I probably talked about Buzzer in the past. Say Yeah it's you can find it on. Pluto Dot TV where you can also watch but joined properties Buzzer is a channel. That is only old game shows and I think on you can get it in some cities just on regular like UHF. It's like channel twenty four or whatever they have just added a show to two on the West Coast seven and ten pm Every night and it is it lasted one season is the match. Game Hollywood squares hour mash up the match game and Hollywood squares. It's an hour long. It's Gene Rayburn to win the match Game Park. It's John Bowman who you may know as bouncer from shauna hosting the Hollywood squares chunk. And then it's back to match game at the end and it was eighty three eighty four. It lasted one season. It is terrible. All of the panelists Don't like each other. A really seems like the two hosts can't stand each other you can. I like to watch it. And because the match game in the seventies legendarily boozy right for the match Game Hollywood squares hour. I like to play alcohol or cocaine with with the panel. Because it's clear that half are like they have a veneer of sweat on them. They're like they're they won't stop talking. They won't listen to anybody else. It's not it's not fun at all. It is unbelievably fascinating They they always cycle in like a new gay Guy Leonard. Something who on a show called Mr Smith at the time? Who's like sort of obviously like an older gay guy or he's just sort of bitchy and doesn't want to play along. Jim J. Bullock shows up foot like his jaw up over his head. He's gone so much why drugs. He's not super fine They eventually just have to get Charles Nelson Reilly back. Obviously it is true and you see the leading lights of one thousand nine hundred eighty four television. Who got you'll see a you know a Barbi Benton you'll see a Lydia Cornell from too close for comfort Gloria Loring Some some guys from days of our lives who are handsome and pouring with sweat. It is the best show on television is. There's so much drama in every frame of it. What a deep cut. It's I'm I'm obsessed. If you're watching the match Game Hollywood squares hour on Buzzer. I need to hear from you. All right I'm talking about. Yeah get you get your Pluto. Pluto SORTA get your Pluto sorted out and a what you should also watch obviously is as we mentioned the thing about hearing about Harry. It's on the fifteenth the night. That's that's that's how the gays get shafted by Free Form After. You can have some Valentine's Day getting we love them and we'd love of course they let us talk to Peter Page. Yes not a legend is truly legend. He created the fosters and good trouble and he of course played Emmett on queers folk and has done a bunch of other work will talk about and take legit trailblazer truly and and was on our sort of guests bucket list since day one and we finally got him and he is a dream. Come true you're GonNa Love Peter Page. We're back with Peter Page. Hi How's it going us so good? We are so excited. You're here. Shut up Peter. I'm excited I'm here. I have to remind you we met. I WANNA say seventeen years ago once nothing. Nothing should have happened seventeen years ago except perhaps me coming out of my mother's Regina. That's insane we it's not a big remember. We fucked most by the way. It's possible total but it could have happened. No I just want you to be scared that this was going that direction so you were dating a friend of mine. I just moved here. I just finished college a semester early and you know I was like Brag that just dropped in the middle of that story. I just semester early. I mean they would have is did a summer program. I gotTA BFA. It's not a real degree but that's not really of course so I but the point of it is that I was here. Haven't graduated yet and my graduation was coming up. But you know twenty two. I was like a an assistant. I had no money. I wasn't going to go to my own graduation. I had this friend who was sort of the older gay big brother friend. He is dating Peter. Page and this is at the time I think like the peak of queer as folk crazy. What's your friends so a wall will name? You'll probably remember this so my boyfriend at the time and I go over to his house and we essentially have like a double date of his house and he presents me with a plane ticket to go to my college graduation which was so sweet only able to go because of him but honestly he did it to impress. You does this. That's okay if it doesn't it does it. If I'm being honest I'm I'm I'm embarrassed. It rings a vague. The the sort of I couldn't go to my college education that piece I remember. I don't remember the appearance of the plane. Ticket believe it or not and you don't remember the person that you were okay. I don't I don't could be any of myriad of of people. Yeah so anyway. Great to see you again thank you. It's great to be seen so we WANNA talk all about the movie and shows and everything but What are you watching at the moment? Other than the stuff that you're watching the moment. I just finished watching I think the most important thing I've watched in the last. Probably ten years as watchmen. I just thought it was so such a brilliant brilliant brilliant combination of of issue and entertainment and that is my like power alley. That's what I believe. All my work is about. That's what I'm really here to do. And I just thought it was so extraordinarily well executed on every level. Adjust just just was blown away by it. Are you a comic book? I know and I've never loved a superhero show ever in my life until that one. I just thought it was just perfect and Jean. Smart kicking ass will always make anything better. And if you know I I've worked with the teenage humble Brag and and she is the like Gouveia. She's so much closer to Charlene. Then she is to like any of those insane. You know any of those insane kick ass lady bosses that she plays but but she just do anything. Allison Janney is the same way. She's like a total goofball. And then but then you just you give her a script and and she drops and you're like Oh my God I'm terrified of you. She's so good. So what got you on. Board with watchmen. I think that I don't know the first couple episodes I was like I like this. It's really it's really well made. And it's of course really interesting to look at and that sort of that version of a world you know that sort of our world but isn't quite thought was so fascinating and I think that got me going and then really. It was jeans appearance that thought like the whole show just kicked into the next gear and I was like. Oh Yeah I wanNA know who these people are. And what's going on with and and how how they're going to collide right. It's also love watching things where I'm like. I could just could never come out of my brain not not on any planet. Could I have conceived this? Yeah I just I love love love. What Damon did with it? And how br I thought it was. Just brilliant on every level. Anything else in your queue at the moment. What else have I been watching? I I watched. I just finished watching next in fashion on net flicks. I don't know what that is. It's their net. Flicks is project runway. Knock off with like slightly bigger production values. They have an led runway. Who's our colleague Class T to let's Tan France okay. From from queer eye and Erika. Erika Chong Erica. I can't remember cause less Alexa Alexa now. Alexa Alexa Chung. Yes yeah and they're they're great and designers. Were kind of amazing. Like they're all they all feel like they'd be in the final three on project. If that makes sense they're all professionals. Diners already started labels and brands. And so they're all they're all pretty astounding. The work that they produce was really amazing. I watched in day and a half great new thing to bench. Yes and what's the price with the incentives? I think two hundred fifty thousand dollars okay. You're not fooling around salad. Yeah it's it's so interesting that they they they give you that money but they also own you and they own a huge piece of Your Business. And that's why there been. I know of at least one winner but but probably multiples who have turned down the prize because they didn't WanNA share ownership with our companies with the Weinstein Company. Yeah that's the voice. I think that that's actually not a great gig. None of US worry too. I couldn't name a single winner of voice now even even even the seasons. I watched I'd be like there. Was that Blue Guy. His name is blue. I'm pretty sure he was great. And I thought. Oh He's going to be the one. The first one breakthrough no turns out now. Yeah Yeah nor Can I do the? Abc American idol reboot. I couldn't name a single winner. I haven't dropped in. Yeah having dropped in. Yeah just don't care We are of course living in Now do a leap as world. Have you gotten on board with physical yet? I I literally. I'm not even sure what all those words I do know. Is it a new album? You'd know it's her new song that came out Week or so ago heaven. It's all the time for early in my world. I've been I am obsessed with the soundtrack to my own movie. And it's all at amazing amazing song if the world were ending if the world was ending. I think it's actually what the title is on. The world was ending this artists. Morgan Morgan is have you heard of Morgan's? Queer artist really cool. Who did a cover of? I'm just wild about Harry for us. That is so romantic and special and I just love it. It just like Li. It'll it'll literally will bring me to the brink of tears there's another. There's a CIARA song in it. We've got Shawn Mendez Song. And it's it's really it's it's yeah it's really kicks ass. It's a really really fun. So so can we do kind of a career retrospective. We'll starting around the queer as folk days and bring us up short you before that if you want regional theater. I'm kidding I'm just totally. And what were your roles in highschool my roles in high school. I played Mr Bush Nick in little shop of horrors. I was it was so it's like I had braces. Very you know I played C K Dexter Haven in the Philadelphia story right. Yeah those were Max Girls. There were some others to but was this I went to junior high. Prep School in Birmingham Alabama and then in tenth grade I moved to Raleigh North Carolina and went to the wgn low performing arts and academic magnet. Wow Yes yes. It actually was kind of an amazing amazing public high school. It sounds as yeah. It was a really incredible. It was kind of interesting I it was at the very beginning of that sort of magnet school movement and we were in the middle of downtown Raleigh so there were the local kids who live near the school and they bussed in all the smart kids and all the kids to this to this one school and we all went to school together. And what it meant. Was you sort of dial up. Or dial down your academic prowess or your creative proclivities in any area at any time. You know what I mean if you're great at math but sucked at everything else that you could take. Ap CALC but you could also just be just be you know mainline and everything else like it was. It was really amazing amazing place. I'm super grateful. I went to school there. I just fame. But North Carolina the North Carolina School of the arts which was actually the fame school. Yeah it was. It was a little bit like that. We fancied ourselves a bit that way I did. Barrel turns on concrete out in front of school more than once great. My knees are swollen to the day because of it. I love it and so you were. You've been working in TV and film for good for a number of years before queer spoke came along not really really I went to. I went to Boston. University graduated with a degree in acting. I'm a classically trained. Like you know I was sort of born to do like Shakespeare Moliere. Shaw an all that stuff Came out into the world struggled mightily which was sort of a shock to me. I was sort of the one of the darlings of the program and so when I came out into the world and had to face the real the real life of at all I was like why. Why isn't everybody on board with me now? I completely know why just I hadn't I I. Was You know twenty two? I was six one nine pounds soaking wet. The face of a twelve year old boy. My voice was down here because I was dropped in all the time because I had been through theater training and I just didn't I didn't make sense and I was uncomfortable in my own. Skin was uncomfortable with femininity. I just didn't I had not found myself at all and it took me a long time to do that. I was I bounced around the regionals and did a bunch of stuff sort of like I said did Shakespeare and Moliere and things like that and then Finally made my way to La. In Ninety seven and started my very first audition. I booked a guest spot on. Suddenly Susan Brooke Shields Koertzen Barbara Berry. Call Mom I was. I was nervous undertaker who had to bury Susan's father and who was his first week on the job and he was not handling it. Well it was an amazing. It was an amazing amazing gift because I had left New York kind of tail between my legs like oh I guess. There's no place for me in this business. I'm failure and Portland Oregon for a couple of years to do theatre. Found my sea. Legs found a manager. Who are actually manager found me and was like what are you doing here? You should be in La and got that job in sort of cry for four hours. Like oh I'll maybe there is a place for me here so and three years after that I spoke and were you prior to clear. It's focused sort of in those three years. Was there like an active effort. To sort of squash your femininity. Is that something that had been sort of like scared out of you. Sure I mean yeah there there there was I I went through. What David Duchovny phase where everything. I acted like this because if there was an affect you couldn't clock news being back out and it makes for some really all acting work and for some reason. I never booking jobs when I did this. Can you believe it? And so it's me. It was a real It was an interesting challenge for me and then and then I was. Here's a story for you. I was the other choice for Jack on will and grace really I went in and read for will and grace and they were like. Oh and they're all sort of now. I'm not I'm friends with Max and David and Muslim accent and they were like Oh look at you and they were like well listen. We are testing someone tomorrow. And we're not going to test you against him but if that doesn't work your next guy we're we're ready for you and now now I know so much more about testing in the business and all of that and I know because I I was. I was the ring for a lot other guys. I was the poll horse. If you well you know for a lot of other roles but didn't get that job was and then for like a year year and a half was told in multiple auditions your mind. Too much of Sean and I was like logo is that is this going to be it. Is that going to be my legacy like I wasn't almost ran Like really and I was. I was pretty freaked out about it. And then one day a casting director buddy of mine approached me at the gym and said Hey Showtime just bought Queer as folk. If I were you at make a phone call and I did. I called my manager. My manager called casting. I was the I was in the first morning of pre reads. I was in the first morning of producer sessions I really went in for a different character within minutes. They were like no no no. That's not you but will you read this part. I had prepared that part because I knew the same thing and and changed my life. Which part did you go in force had the sort of self loathing? You know kind of berry sort of Guy Right. Yeah so and I can do self-loathing with the best of them but so I acted it really well in fact the casting director when I read it she was like I read it for her and then I said can I read. I met for you and she was like I just told you. I was giving you a callback for Ted and I was like I know but just let me let me read this for you so I read Emmett and she said. I don't think I've ever said this is my career. Who Do you WANNA come back for producers for and I said you know what you brought me in for Ted? Bring me back for the smartest decision I ever made. Because then when the producers had the idea they had ownership of it it felt special. I hadn't forced something on them and and but I was totally ready in his own and according to them they I was the first Emmett they ever heard and they never they never wanted anybody else. And funk you Sean macfarland Sean Hayes Sean Hayes. Oh Jack Metairie. They're too numerous of all of them. He's a previous tweet. Already we see each other all the time of course which Jim Gold. Gold scored twenty three years. I've been going to the gym now a so you didn't have to. I didn't have to shame. Quit equinoxes. That's Great. And Yeah all my friends who quit are back. Are you guys back back back at solar cycle quite often you totally? I'll be back. We'll all be back of course to take a break. Let's take a break Dave yes. I've made a new year's resolution. We're well past the time we're supposed to wish people happy New Year happy till but I've got a resolution Kaz that I want to get Dave Holmes hair on this head. I want that gorgeous thick main Makaki much kind. Obviously that it's all you are gifted but my point is that I'm going to go to four DOT COM Because it's my one stop shop for hair loss and skin care and sexual wellness for me. Well they've been helping guys be the best version of themselves for ages with licensed physicians. Fda approved products to help treat hair loss. 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Go to better help dot com slash homo. Fill out a questionnaire they will assess your knees. Get you matched with a counselor that you will love. That's better dot com slash homo. Peter Page tie so Peter. Page seeing anyone I am. I have been dating very very very casually. I I actually took last year off of dating. Okay after about a decade of like one-two-three one-two-three in out I realized like Oh they're not all the wrong guy. I'm the wrong guy and I need to figure out what the Fuck my problem is. Because you the out was usually the one two three hour necessarily it was it was. It was me if they were interesting and available. It was them if if if no I'm sorry it was a yeah. I walked away. If they were available they walked away. If they weren't eventually I I was. I was only interested in people who sort of her heisman. Winning me classic. I'm doing the gesture and the listeners. Now Yeah Are Unfamiliar. And so what did you learn in that year off I think I learned what I learned. I learned that I'm still carrying a lot of shit you know. I'm still carrying a lot of shit that you guys talk about. A lot on the PODCAST. A lot of like I grew up in the I was born in sixty nine I. I was literally coming of age sexually the birth of the AIDS crisis. So like any. You know any hope. I had of shedding just the generalized kind of internalized homophobia that we were all being fed on a really regular basis and still artists. Um Degree was was really diminished by by that you know and You know there's a million other things in another other pieces of my story that are particular to me Certainly many many many men of my generation have found you know meaningful long-term satisfied relationships. I just have you know a particular bag of sticks that carry around and sorting through. So what was your? What's your relationship with the coming out thing? When from? I sort of Glimmer D do you. I started coming out in high school reeling in probably one thousand nine hundred eighty five bold again. I went to a funky. You know performing arts high school so it wasn't and I didn't. I didn't like fully fully. Come out but I sort of like told a few friends I thought was by and you know and I I did date a couple of boys and sniffed around telling the truth got some mixed reactions but but it wasn't. It wasn't terrible my you know I wanNA blame a lot on being a gay man growing up in that age but the truth is I. Think my shame my challenges. The stuff I carry is is other than that. I had pretty good coming out experience. Really Yeah by the time I got to college. Two weeks two weeks into acting school. I was like Yup. I'm by and like three months later. I was like nope. Just a just a big homo and and it was. That was all good. You know the the stuff that I'm working through is is is fear of intimacy stuff and I don't I certainly don't think that's unique to gay men and was there ever a pressure to be in professionally Really I'm I was so out as a human being and I I've been a pretty political creature as well and I certainly don't think it was. It was any accident that I ended up. My my big break was curse folk and they came. They came to us. Interestingly when we were you know Shooting the show before we got on the air and they were like listen when it starts at a price you think about. They're GONNA ask you the question so you need to think we're we support. Whatever you want to say and ready Harrison I who were the only two gay members of the cast the first season let each other like. Can you imagine being on this show and being? I'd rather not discuss my sexuality. It's the whole. The whole theme of the show was literally no apologies. No regrets and I was like what I that that's bananas. That doesn't make any sense to me. So so that was the moment I mean before that nobody cared. Nobody asks you when you're a guest star on caroline in the city like if your what's your sexuality so and it was interesting. I you know unlike some people you've had on the show who I think. Andrew Scott was saying like it certainly has impacted my career. I was like impact in mine. I went you know parts that I would test for before queer as folk once I came out and was playing. You know the the the gay guy on the show on television. I pretty much couldn't even get seen for a non gay role if he didn't say gay in the breakdown they didn't they didn't see me for it right and there weren't that many at the time there absolutely I had. It was an amazing amazing ride for me my first year off whereas folk. I had a really good year. I did history boys at the Ahmanson End. I did a really great recurring a small little. Wbz Show but it was really beautiful and really beautifully written and show Related Okay and it was just. It was a lovely lovely little are on somewhat drama and I got I got. They wrote me beautiful beautiful stuff. I get to work with Christie never saw and Kelly Sanchez. Who still one of my closest friends to this day Dan And it was just a real. It was that little show is such such a gift to me And I I got this amazing guest on on Well that was actually sort of right at the end the closer but after that the year after that it turned into like makeup artists shoe salesmen and like quickey assistance and it just like oh. I did the most interesting version of this for five years. This just doesn't speak to me anymore. Right and I just I just started passing on more and more stuff and writing and directing became more and more important to me and I began the sort of the the great transition for a while. When there started to be gay roles that's all they were You were just there to teach the straight personal lesson or to deliver a Sassy want even post will and grace whereas folk both of which were heads and both of which had had put were put people at the center of their own narratives like nope. We're still we'RE STILL GONNA WE'RE GONNA slide all right back to pretty much where we were beforehand. Yeah you know and Yeah so that was. That was frustrating to me. And I'm but I'm I'm super happy that that Men A little further down the road. You know that they that they haven't had to carry that the same way. Do you still see it though. I mean not not in not in sort of like a queer centered stories but in you know like mainstream broadcast St things some for sure. There is still plenty of room. There's still plenty of room. Even in this age of like peak peak television five hundred shows are being produced at any given moment and the littoral number not even a not. That's not even my usual hyperbolic kind of overstating of things. There's still plenty of room for layered interesting nuanced queer characters. But they do they do pop up more and more and more. So I'm I'm super happy about that. And it's also great to see you know openly actors who are who are succeeding and thriving in kind of all different facets of their careers. And so when you when you kind of transitioned to more writing directing and show running. Was there another like coming out for you. You know th this is who. I am now. You know that. I'm not just identifying as an actor anymore. Now I think I mean. My Dad predicted that transition about twenty years before I did it he was like you were a Bossy motherfucker from the first day like I. I will not be surprised. When you end up behind the scenes he said it and I was so offended by that and in fact my the end of acting school the last the last week of acting school. I sit down with the head of the acting program and the and the head of the school for theatre for this kind of exit interview thing and they look at me and they were like you. You know you're really a director right and I was like first of all I just got one hundred thousand dollar acting education and second of all all I could hear instead of sort of an objective statement. I heard you're too ugly to gay. You're never going to work and that kind of that really just gave me an ax to grind. And I was like I will succeed I will. Kim Raver will not be the only person to graduate from this class and to have a career like I will do it and it did. And as soon as I've done it as Soo- within three months of booking which I which I loved by the way ever I loved. I enjoyed that show probably more than anyone in the cast because I knew I worked so hard to get there and I knew how special it was but I knew within a few months I was like I need to be ready interacting. I got more to say than this. So so then. How did the the film come to be the latest also so just fly through really quickly started? Writing Pilots got writing partner. We were very lucky. Started selling very quickly which kept US alive and Fed. We finally got. The fosters made put fosters on the air that ran for one hundred episodes We did a spin off of that. Show call good trouble That's that's still going your friend. Daisy eagan is is Is Our our our beloved Joey. Show and so. I've had this long long history with free. Form One of our non writings extra producers Greg. Googly out. I came to me and said I sold a gay Rom com to free form and we wrote a Christmas movie. We had a writer on it. We Christmas it's not quite working But they liked the idea. They're interested in turning into a their Valentine's Day movie. Are you interested and I was like well. I Love Rom calm. I am a total sappy romantic at heart. Even though I can't seem to make my own I'm like their therapist whose life is a mess. I'M A I'M A. I can write love with the best of them. I am incapable apparently at having it in my own life. At least Romantic love Ladonna Club in very good. I've got amazing. Amazing friends so they came to me and said would you be interested in rewriting. This and I read it and I was like. I'm not really interested in rewriting this but if what you want is a rom com about two young men falling in love. I can right the fuck out of that and I pitched them my take on it. They said that's the movie we want. I said all right if you'll let me direct it and they said go and I wrote it in July while I was traveling around Europe and it was green lit in September. We prepped in October. We shot it in November. And here we are early. February and it comes out in two weeks. Wow so how are you? I'm good? I'm tired and a little a little buzzed off at all. I definitely am having. I'm having feelings. I'm having sort of a workaholic. Letdown Post job. Lose if you will about sort of how much time and energy had been putting into that but I'm so so proud of the movie. It's really really is exactly what I wanted to be. It is an unabashedly romantic comedy with all the the sort of sort of like putting on the your favorite bathrobe feelings of Aram Com. Recognize it. You know it you feel it in your guts like this and then you realize like Oh. I don't have to translate this one. This one's just for me. And after years of sitting in the dark and watching Julia Roberts and Sandra bullock and and Kate Hudson and all of those women have men pursue them fall in love with them I was. I'm just I cry. Every time I watched the movie every time. What Rahm coms were your touchstones things? You went back to to watch for inspiration. I didn't do a ton of but I watch on come so much that I don't really have to. There's nothing that's kind of in my blood more. What's your what's your number one. My number one probably while you were sleeping despite all its preposterousness and it's sort of slightly sadistic you're really line to family about their son. Who is in a coma? But I just That that that was when I fell in love with Sandra bullock and and that that's I I love it's humanity and it's messy nece. I mean it's what I love about. That is that is that you're like well if if Sandra bullock who can't even manage to pull her hands out of her sleeves and that movie I don't know if you noticed that you never she's like dislike. Has Her hands pulled back indoors. Leaves as she's talking to people like she who works at a you know who takes takes tokens at the Chicago at the L. can find love than than maybe somebody as messy as me too and so yeah. I. That's that's absolutely where my face and then there's all that you know. I love pretty woman. I love when Harry met Sally. I there's there's a billion of them that I that I love. But there's a surprising dearth of queer one's and and I you know there's trick which movie that I also love but then it gets it gets real thin real fast and I'm just really grateful that free form and Disney decided that this was going to be there around tines day movie and and it just. It's I think it's really good that it exists. It's about time and Valentine's Day plans. No I guess so you guys you guys got anybody for me. 'cause hey opened up the M.'s. Ready all right when you mentioned that you're kind of casually dating right now. How is that? Were you meeting people? Do you use the APPS Jones. So funny you guys often say on the pod you guys talk about. How like a dating unders? Twenty's men twenty s are messy boy. It was awful. Let me tell you what dating in your forties and Fifties. It fucking sucks. Yeah it's crazy. Why because here here? My theories look and these are not absolutes. There are exceptions every rule but get the good ones have settled down. The people out in the waters are the crazies. So you go on. Dates with a lot of crazies and your capacity to tolerate other people's Bullshit has diminished. So much over the three decades of you coming into your own that that go on a date with people who. I would have spent six months with before and I'll be like this has been really lovely. Thank you so much I wish you well. So there's just the the amount of output to get something meaningful back is so much higher and I know I know there's lots of great guys out there my age. I know that but it's it's definitely been a ride so you do prefer to date sort of similar age range yet. I don't take I was always like a guy with a little bit of a daddy thing. When I was twenty. Five boyfriend was forty five. I called a friend of mine just given out plane tickets left and right. That wasn't my boyfriend. That was that was as it was dating. You know you're sitting way friend. It was like a casual thing but I'm so curious after we're out there all right that is that's so crazy. I thought that was your boyfriend. Who did no I didn't? Even he probably was like forty five at the time and you were much younger. I remember thinking like each hundred years old though I never be. I call the friend of mine. Who was more I met when I was dating forty five year old boyfriend when I was twenty five and I call them a few years ago and I was like I want you to know that you and I are currently older than that guy was when we were friends and he was like shut your fucking mouth and I was like no. It's true we are. We are the old man that That we once you know. Kind of other is so crushing. Every time I watch like a sexist like Miranda couldn't believe she was a thirty four year old woman. I'm like I'm Miranda. How you can I tell you one. That's going to play fucking mind like literally is going to win. Both of your heads off of your next can frayed season. One of the Mary. Tyler Moore show Ed Asner was thirty eight. I believe that I'm I think we'll Brindley was fifty two coon. Yep so I I am a year and a half away from my Wolfer Brindley moment. Wow Yeah and there's like a mean going around comparing like Ra Room mcclanahan golden girls to Jaylo because she was essentially fifty years old and being treated like you know she ready to to pass their go. But it's a whole world. It's a different world leader world. It's a slightly different world. I mean we're we're making it safer for people in their forties and fifties again. I predict that you about to enter a stage where guys your age range have. Maybe got into a long term relationship a little earlier than they were ready to head to do some growing on their own. They've left behind and they're about ready to have the real one. Yeah that's how I'm hoping that's nothing I haven't I? It's been my last like real real real. Love like was over a decade ago and it was it was a nice lasted along really well for a long time and then he thought that Christopher would be a great idea so So it went real south real fast. It was it was super heartbreaking So you know. Don't don't bring that to. I mean that's the thing that I find. So so disheartening is like we survived the fucking AIDS crisis like I mean do. Do you remember like every time. You got a cough. You're like well by it's over for me. Yeah it's over for me. I suck a Dick last last month. So I'm now I deserve to die young like it just you would. You would go to get tested. And you'd bring a friend to get your results and you'd be shaking and you'd cry with relief or with the whatever it was it was just this endless endless anxiety and we finally get like make our way through that so many people literally gave their lives and literally gave up every ounce of energy. They had to so that we could like you know. Get on happen. You know all that stuff and people like I know feeling good. How about some crystal meth invite a new plank onto onto myself and it just it just devastates me. Yeah just devastates me. I remember my first test was a home test. And yet there was a eight hundred number that you had a call in after lake fourteen days or whatever six months long and And I was. I was at work at the time and I like an had the number I called it every day. Just to see to see if it came early and And then on the thirteenth day I called and I got a recording that said negative and I was so happy. I like left work. I was like I'm taking hold back just to hear the negative result so many times that after like five or six. I got a person and they were like. You've done this a lot are you. Okay thank you. We only have this recording for you so many times like there might be other issues like do you need to talk immediately. Waited ten years and then got into therapy very good. Yeah I mean that was such a part of daily life for so long which is not a thing I think people in their twenty s ever going to understand for sure for sure and I mean and still people are show converting every day. But it's I don't think that that particular kind of anxiety was is. Hopefully they won't ever have to feel it when it went straight to death sentence it just being manageable sore throat. It didn't matter what it was sore throat. I pimp like if you got a zig you know anywhere except your face you reliable. It's over. Yeah Yeah my my best friend. I used to tease each other. We like hope it's not the big one. Yeah now we're at the age where we go. Hope it's not a big one like you mean it because we're old but that was an unbelievably terrifying. It was just so I don't I don't I don't know that I've even admitted until this very moment. How exhausting it was because it was it was never gone. It was never out of your body. Even when you got the relief. You'd you'd hear. Oh you're negative and then you would like go out and celebrate and get drunk and have sex and then you'd be you'd be back in our society right or there and there was always that sort of like well if you had sex and last week's this doesn't actually cover so there was there was never a full cellular relieve anyway right so it just. It was just unrelenting unrelenting. Did the guy that you were talking to sort of last great love. Did he get help? He got some help. I I truly do not know if he's alive or not. At this point I had to. I had to remove myself from the situation. It was too much for me and other exes are they. Are you in touch? Do you made friends friendly. I'm not really friends with any of my exes. My Bar for friendship is really really high. I have I have the most amazing group of friends. Most of them have been my friend since college. So we have a thirty year history and we grew. We really grew each other up and And so you know you gotta bring you gotTa be bringing something pretty amazing to the game if you want me to carve out that space in my life and most of my exes have not have not reached that bar and that's bipartisan. That's part of what's wrong with my picker is I picked people who wouldn't be my friends. Who wouldn't who wouldn't be friends with. Does that make sense? They're so different from my friend group that I'm that it's like so maybe it doesn't look like it like you were raised to think that it would look for sure you know. I think that's GONNA be true. Clearly I my best thinking has gotten me. You know here here. Embarrassed talking about my lack of love life and you largely didn't have queer elders to model at a new kind of relationship or a new kind of relationship to there weren't many. We did amazingly at at at enacting school at Bu. Our voice our to voice and speech teachers were married gay couple in their in their fifties probably at the time fifty or sixty s and and they were search role models in these kind of amazing way. They one of them who was like a terrible terrible professor terrible teacher. His husband was was brilliant. Brilliant speech teacher but he was kind of lazy and wasn't really into it really. He just wanted to tell you stories about how he used to be. Best friends with Elizabeth Montgomery But I love a good story about Elizabeth ornery. So why wouldn't I WANNA hear he? He was the one who like the the second day of school. Got All the college freshmen. And it was like this is a cock and he held up a banana and he was like this is a condom. And this is how you use it. And that's going to keep you alive and honest to God. I think it's saved us all because you know I will tell you. There's no nothing more true than than people at acting. School are going to have and was aware of it and made sure that we were going to do it safely. And then and they have been they had been together for thirty years or something like that so I did. Have this little glimmer. I didn't apparently didn't land but but I can't dismiss them in grateful for them. So when you were saying that from while you were sleeping you what you of gleaned from it is that you know if this a woman who takes tokens and the Elkin Fall in love. So can I. What what is the lesson about love that you glean from the thing about Harry? I just that you deserve it just that you deserve it. You know Jake Borelli from Adamy Place Sam. The WHO sort of our our way in and he you know his All the stories. He's telling himself in the rules. He has and the heartbreak that that has shaped him has him really reactionary and really quick to push away and it just it takes time for him to finally be able to receive the kind of this. This unexpected love. And that's I think the thing that rex me every time is just watching him. Open himself up finally and when it came time to to find him into cast this. What was What was important to you It was important to me. There are three leads in the movie and it was important to me that at least one of them be openly queer. It was important to me that at least one of them not be white and to you know to satisfy sort of network needs and demands. I needed at least one of them to be a name of some sorts so and I got really lucky. I got Jacobs openly queer. And he's on the biggest show on television and so he he hit that Nico AND BY THE WAY I. The only reason I got him is because my best friend is Christopher Urnov who runs that show station eighteen and I called her and said what about Jake and she was like. I can't honey. I can't he's got doing across over. He's too busy. Da Da and then right before chemistry reads I called her again and I was like really no way I can have jake. And she was like give me an hour and she called me back and she was like I would not do this for another living soul but for you. I will rewrite something. Oh my so that you can have them for three weeks and she did and then Nico who plays Harry Nico has never had a job on camera before in his life well and he's fantastic. It's it's one of those things he was just meant to do it. He was a professional soccer player. He came back to new. York is a personal trainer. He was he took classes at at one of the studios in New York for a while. He found his way to the ABC diversity. Showcase got signed by an agent. We were the first audition he'd ever had. He put himself on tape he sent to us. I had chills up and down my body and I was like get him on a plane. We flew him to. La For Chemistry. Reads WITH JAKE? I thought well this is a high stress situation. At least we'll get a sense like is going to. Is he going to collapse. Under the weight of this. This GIG coolest cucumber. He's he's He's from Barbados. And he's got that great island Jill like nothing really really matters that much which is boy. I wish I had like just a drop out in me. And he was amazing and the two of them together. It was like well there it is. That's the move enough magic and and they both deliver in spades. I can't even tell you it's there so so good and then The female leaders Brit Baron from glow who plays she plays Martin Lawrence Daughter on the show and she's like a super talent. She just how justices so her work so much your beyond her years. I just end the three of them together. They they all brought this kind of a great color to the Palette and it was such a such a pleasure plus I act a little bit too. I heard a house very exciting and Valentine's movie. So is there a possibility for Christmas? Follow up there I can tell you i. I'm prepared to pitch a very hairy Christmas any any day. I'm ready. We actually me. And the producers had had dinner a couple of weeks ago and we. We broke it out. So we're ready to go great in the name itself Ah last question is wh- what's happening with the queer as folk reba. Where are we? We are nowhere. They are doing a like a total total. Just just taking a brand and completely rebooting the series. I really know much about it. It's a peacock None of the original cast or involved as far as We're and we're all still pretty tight so I think I would. I would know if somebody were doing something having to do with it. so I I. That's all I can tell you it ain't us. So which is which is a bummer. I would I would love to love to revisit those guys even for like a movie or a little six episode. Many just just I know that. There's I understand that there's not a huge hunger for you know aging queers But but we're out there and we have stories and I think it would be. These characters. Were really beloved. And I think it would be lovely to be able to check back on them and there wasn't an audience for queers in our career and in the last couple of decades. Yup these things have to be cultivated. Yeah you know they're they're it's so shortsighted. Because the the was so great about the Ellwood reboot is sort of. Get the best of both worlds. So that if you if you're tuned because you WanNa see that twenty two year olds you know having sex scenes. You can see that. But you also get this sort of legacy of of of a of the grown-ups and that that was exactly our pitch. We had that pitch before l. Word before we knew about the outward reboot. The part of the the issue is Showtime owns the ellwood outright and they did not own queer as folk out right because of The two Jennifer be like all of that stuff and the rights had ended up at a rights. House man didn't even know about even. Despite all my years in the business there are people who buy up the rights to things when they sort of you know lay lay on the ground and And then you go to them and you you pay them money to to get the rights and that's what this this writer did so So we were. We were a little too late out of the gate. That's a bummer How are you thinking about the legacy when you when you mentioned you know sort of having very few gay elder role models before? I was thinking that you know for for some people not many. You're still very young but for some people you are that person. I'm not that young but I have a wonderful vibrant youthful energy. But I'm not that young. Look I know I thank you very much by the way jake so I basically played that part in the movie. I play Jake's characters roommate and landlord and kind of mentor. I'm really just there to ask him questions and to push him and It it mirrored very nicely my relationship with Jake. We had gone out to dinner just a few nights before we shot that stuff and you know he. He's a year away from his coming out publicly and he hasn't really had anybody to talk to about the sort of specifics that experience like yet. Yes he's on. Tv with a lot of famous people but the the uniqueness of being openly queer in front of the world and what that means and the responsibilities that come with it and the owners you sort of feel to represent and all of that stuff like there are very very few of us who have walked that specific path and it was he. You know I I was I was humbled to be asked and I think he was quite grateful to for the two of us who have been able to share kind of here. Here's here's what I learned. Here's what I know and not that I'm right or wrong or you know smarter than than the average bear but I you know I i. I certainly didn't have that and I adore adore him and and feel this. I do feel this sort of like here but let me just WanNa hold you while you shake a little bit because I understand well. I'm so excited to see The thing about hairy February fifteenth on Free Form February sixteenth. On Hulu weight balancing plans are set. Yeah exactly and it's it's perfect. 'cause YOU GO OUT. Friday night for Valentine's Day Saturday night. You were broke and your lovelorn and you just WanNa fucking cuddle up and and and have a good feel good time. It's it's I say this with with all the requisite whatever's it's so good. I'm so proud of it. If you love you. Love the movie I promise. Congratulations pair page. Thank you guys so much and I I love your pod and I love what you guys are doing. I think it's really super important. And keep it up very much peter page. Oh can't say just Peter Peter Page And he's a dream he really is. He showed up turned out he looked. I mean check out that photo. Checkout that outfit. He is a dream boat so happy. We finally got to talk to him so happy that I got to talk to you. Thanks so much Kim Lukas. Thank you so much. Thank you Ryan Connor. Thank you Hannah. Crichton thing everybody at your wolf and Stitcher and guys if you WanNa hear our back catalogue of episodes you're wondering why I can only see a certain amount of them in my in my Free Stream thing. Yeah it's because you need to set your premium account and go to them and you'RE GONNA get ad free episodes you're gonNA be a bonus episodes you know we did this whole series. That's only on such a premium called. Mumbo familia also throwing shade presents groceries. It was a spin off. They did only about grocery stores. And it's the best thing I've heard in ages. Truly my favorite thing. I've ever love it. And it's only on stitcher premium and you can get him on three. If you use code homo stuff on there too and also you pod swag dot com slash homo to get yourself submerged. You can get some home on t shirts. You can get a scientist copy of party of one by Dave homes. I don't even have my copy signed by you. Do also what else. Oh please if you're using apple podcast. Whatever pod Catcher e US but certainly apple podcasts gifts rating. If you would let me write a little review it really does. Help get the word out to new listeners. As long as you love showing WANNA give us five stars if you don't maybe D- MSN's dead. Yeah or don't even do that But please tell your friends and family and all your favorite about the show because We left got some drugs. Got Some trubs. Yes and yes well. Whatever struggles you're facing from depression anxiety trauma grief better help can connect you with a professional counselor in a safe and private online environment and you know we are big advocates for therapy. We talked about on the show all the time but better help so convenient. Because you can schedule. Secure video or phone sessions. 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Harry Dave Holmes Peter Page Valentine director La Emmett Raleigh North Carolina Sean Hayes Sean Hayes Jack Metairie New York Jake Borelli Max Girls Jim J. Bullock Charles Nelson Reilly Tom Lennon Gene Rayburn Christopher Urnov
309: Fear (w/ Rob Huebel)

High and Mighty

1:23:25 hr | 5 d ago

309: Fear (w/ Rob Huebel)

"This is a head gum podcast. I welcome back to another episode of high and mighty a fix to two hundred ninety. Three alex chrome. That's all county long. johnny. G trust me. Jackson may joining me as always fears. Silent co-hosts arthur capers. Arthur kim shoutout. What's that arthur retire. The star is born portion of my intro. Fair enough retired the entire. Intros your idea. That's interesting for a dog. Okay also joining me in the high and mighty studios. I started out in comedy this dude and now we're friends. This is fucking wild. Joining me is actor. Comedian podcast her. Twitch holster with paul. Share it's rob you the number two boys here. He is the legend himself. The number to fuck rob hub. Let's go you got the best intro in the biz bro. It's all i got. It's all downhill. I could tell watching. I can tell watching you that you almost cracked yourself up at the middle of that one. There was a moment where i could tell. You almost lost it for some reason not to go full mike mitchell doboy but it depends on my guest. You know. if it's if it's you just like what are you doing. The status is slightly different in my book because having watched respect. Oh so much coming up that you like you guys are like the upper class and you guys are like my friends. Older brothers were doing shit. It's so funny because you know obviously everyone has the people ahead of them that they look up to. And then it all at some point just disappears and blends together and you know now that i'm super old. You're year not as old as me but like my for sure as you get older. It's just like oh yeah now. We're all just in comedy and we're all just doing it. Yeah it is like. I always refer to it like when you're in high school you like. He's a senior. And i'm a freshman that's weird but when you're twenty eight and twenty four. You're not talking about high school anymore. But you still have that energy if you went to high school together that you look up to this like not look like he's got a little status over me. It's so funny. Because i yeah there's i mean there's guys that in women to that i look up to that i'm like oh yeah the and but that is totally high school dynamic and there's there's a whole nother layer in that like in my head. I can play if you were doing comedy already when i was coming up or if you started after me you're either older or younger and that's just not how it works. It's like zach woods. I grew up watching. He's four years younger than me. Guys guys who started after me are older than me. But i'm still like all right. I'm and i'm forty four man. I'm like oh sorry. It's totally confusing. Totally confuse him. But now we're all just old and we're fucking millionaires man. We have the best part to. We've ridden this comedy. Trained to the very end. Yeah i'm getting like a kind of regular harold residual check. That's kind of keeping me on to get. I get resist for improv. Shows i got this big callback bonus. Isn't that crazy. How like nothing. Nothing really changes. That much. Like i still audition for shit and don't get it and you know you're still like a hustle like all shit no matter what. The number of zeros changes eventually. But it's all it's just a hustle. It's a never ending marathon of like note. You didn't get that fuck it okay. I'm in the next thing you know. And then hopefully you're just doing your own thing and like making your own shit you happy in that way. Yeah you're touching on something that i've gone through kind of like eleven cycles of i think i think you've done a great job of of really of drilling down on on vis On on this industry like definitely you're the fucking number one. Fuck boy. I tell you. Make that title up for yourself. Randomly given out at the national. Joe rogan rogaine. And ira glass blessed me with the of number one. Fuck play but it is like It is cool and interesting how people can just like figure out their own way to sustain themselves in like okay. you know. I'm not really going to do this. That might especially during the pandemic that was now. We're almost coming out of it. It's like you start to think like we'll get to perform again. It's point i don't know when. Go all the same like even this pandemic has made me feel retroactively better about my quote unquote acting success. Which is something that. I've let control my happiness but in this last year where no one was like where it wasn't happening for anybody. I had no fomo ten then. I was just enjoying being a podcast. One husband and laying around and getting reading done and all of a sudden. I was like and then this year went by and i survived i. I'm a fortunate person in that regard like financially. And i was like wait. How much. how much success do i really need like. Do i have enough to cruise for a couple years right now. Because i'd love to as you keep saying the hustle. The hustle bustle. I love to take my foot off the gas for a minute. And just like i'll pull over to this rest. Stop for little. And that's just and this last year just activated that in me and now i don't i'm like it's such a long game is all i wish i someone told the twenty five year. Old gabor's i know me too. I'm so pissed because no-one or maybe i didn't pick up on it. That like there is no finish line and that does sound dumb. And whatever but like i would say anything that you do like you never like are there you know but i i always thought you did like i always thought you got to a certain point. Then you just fucking coast then you just like set but you just always have to keep in you know for sure in this business you just keep grinding keep grinding. But that what you said about Fomo is so fuck in familiar to me. Because i like a lot of people just wrestle with that so much you know. What is he doing. what's he doing. All fuck myron. I doing that. Why didn't i get that. And when the pandemic hit like it was just this was an equalizing fucking equalizer. Where you're just like yeah. I don't have to compare myself to anybody can do stuff at home i can go on. Twitch can do someone else's podcast. I can do you know whatever. And then now a year later starting to come out of it and i'm just s in like february. Some friends were like back at their shows that they already worked on. And i'm like keeping all my friends who had zoom writer jobs this entire year out of my head because that's not something i can even handle. The second people were back like holy shit superstore. We're back in the last season. Something i've never been part of was not planning on being part of it and i was like fuck and i'm not invited to the hollywood's opening meeting and it's why i don't have anything going on yet and i know even like dumb shitty pilots that i do not give a fuck about. It's like oh. I don't care i don't wanna be on that dumb ass show but really it would be nice. That's the entire thing with his industry is just like i don't think i like you said you keep thinking. There's a destination a finish line but every couple of years. If you ask me what do you think is your goal in this. The answer would always be like. I still don't know it's hard. Like i'm not even allowed to. I shouldn't even be mad at myself for not achieving. Because i haven't chosen an achievement so it's not like doing the both ways. Where i'm like your i'm hustling nonstop. And then also mad at myself for not succeeding but is such a weird. Yeah i signed. What success is it's in my mind. So i can. I retroactively choose. That i am successful but doesn't doesn't doesn't like social media like instagram. Drives me crazy. Because i look on their show. Just see i'll get so horny man driving. I gotta pull over. But it's the grand driving. Get getting so horny strowman. I'm wearing the wrong sweatpants. Walk i gotta go back home. I was no but you know you look gives you that fucking dasha foam. Oh yeah and you just see people that are going and doing stuff that you are jealous of like fuck. What are they would. They're shooting in vancouver. What steve ag. Doing in vancouver. What tom lennon inquire. And i in vancouver. What's happening vancouver. There's a lot of people it's open. I'll go up there off quarantining for two weeks hotel nevermind nevermind. Nevermind i'm fine. Yeah also funny. We should say fomo because that is an acronym where the first word to that was. An accident was an accident. That was actually fell into that. But that's what we were gonna talk about. We're going to talk about fear. And this is like the forty year old man. Fear conversation right here of like is like. Am i going to do the thing. I set out to do in life. Will i feel fulfilled in some way. But i'm i'm also getting to the age where i watch that. Anthony hopkins movie the father that i don't know that one. It was an oscar. It's this year it's oscar-nominated based on a play. But it's it's like an. He's losing his mind as an older man. And it's terrible. I did together to keep you on your toes and like a confusing way. You feel it and me and my wife are just looking at each other like oh no no. We're going to get all of them. We're going to get confused. And now i'm like new fear. That is the scariest thing. I was thinking about that. Last night i was like i was trying to fall asleep last night. I couldn't sleep and then of course it three in the morning. I see out the window flashing red lights and like the rumbling of a big tree. And i'm like oh fuck. The window in like are across. The street neighbor has like an ambulance and a fire. Big fire engine at their house. I still don't know what happened. I don't really know these people that are kind of weirdos and but it was just weird. Because i was thinking about like why the fuck can't i fall asleep and like you just thinking about like my life and then like for someone else to be dealing with this tragedy and i was like i was also kind of stone and i was like. Oh i'm so glad that there's not an ambulance coming for me. Like i could not deal with this right now to stone. That's that's when. I know. I'm really stoned is when i peek. Selfish like this is a perfect example. Hang out with max sylvestry. one time. He dropped his laptop. And i felt so much relief that it wasn't my laptop that i was i couldn't be sympathetic towards like he just saw go. Oh thank god. That's not my problem. And it was like i couldn't i was like that's the rudest thing i've ever chill. Weird can totally connect when you're stones just like. Oh i hope nothing bad happens right now. I hope i. Yeah that's why. I like if i'm gonna eat something or like like it has to be like you know my kids asleep. It's like late at night. Nothing's going to happen. The dog is walked. I don't have to go outside. Minimal resume that reminds one of my good buddy's x. pot smoker had had a kid and he lived around the block and he's like. Hey i want to smoke a ball tonight. Can you bring me some weed over. Once the kids go to sleep. I'm gonna smoke weed again for the first time in a few years. I'm feeling okay. He took a head and he texted me like the millions. Like my son just came out of the bedroom and said daddy are you. A ghost then turned and went back to bed. And he's like don't think. I'll ever smoke weed again. Took his son bugged him the fuck out. That's crazy that's crazy. Yeah my daughter's starting to say stuff like that she's four and she's been starting to say like kind of tripped out stuff like You know she'll look at a picture of someone in a magazine she'll be like is he did like i don't know i mean that's a model from j. crew. There's really no way for me to know well are. Are we going to die. And i'm like yeah. I mean actually we are. We're all gonna die. When are we going to die. I mean i don't know when we're gonna you know but just how tense cool to me. That is cool. It is cool when they start to like. Look at like the big picture and sort of abstract stuff like that. It's pretty mind blowing that like a human brain can process that at four years. Not that she's like genius or anything. I mean she fucking genius but anything but she said up this whole podcast but she but she's got this whole she said on my zoom ethernet cable and the usb adapter geek squad at four tola but yet is wild to think about that but but that just shows you what a primitive fear that is to of like. Oh this is all gonna end like we're either gonna get old and die which fucking sox like my both. My parents died about two ago. Just because you know they were older and had long lives but like my mom died three months later my dad died and it was just the worst. It's the worst so so seeing that is one way you can to remind. Yeah like in the other ways also terrible. It's like oh he had a heart attack and he was fifty years old or he got into a car accident and he was. You know whatever so. It's like obviously over stating the obvious. Dying really scary. Everyone but yeah. Dying is really scary to everyone but sometimes it's hard to not have it on your mind saying i got my wife she. She's a little morbid like in that. If like a neighbor of ours died like we heard this old guy that we used to like that walked around when he would he passed away and like really affected her and i was like we barely interact with them. He's like but he was so young. And this and then. Also i'm like feeling too and i'm like oh she is so empathetic towards it. I think because both of our dads died young. Yeah so like. That is hard not to think about the whole time i like. My dad's was like one of those blue collar. Guys who always said shit. Like i'm not gonna be around for that long di young handsome course all that shit and then he died at fifty six or fifty seven. I was like you asshole. Just try just say. I mean cancer brain. Cancer can't argue. He wasn't trying to fight but time here like just don't say shit like that. Serve as a kid be like blah joking because comedy being overweight dark humor gonna make and now that i'm thirty nine. I'm like i take spirulina every day. My medicine i'm on blood pressure medication. I'm getting my cardiovascular exercise. If i don't get a walk outside i'm just not taking care of mice. I'm now like instantly. And all the quarantine helped me in that like activated me to fight the fear i have of aging and my fear of dying is yes fear of dying but fear of losing my faculties before more. That's exactly what. I'm worried about because that happened. My dad decide like a slow mental decline and to me was just really terrifying. Scary by the way. Is this hard to whiz. Podcast gonna bum out your listeners. People places this shit. We'll get this out. We'll get onto something more fun. We'll get to more gets a high dives eventually but for now you gotta talk about debt. Debt everyone who listens might eat knows. My dad is dead because i injected into every conversation. Because it's oddly the subtitle of my comedy you know it's hard not to think about that stuff though for sure and And and also i. i think i don't know how long ago did i- longtime ago like ten years nine years. Okay yeah but it's also just like i think about it all the time i think about it every day. I don't think about them dying. Think about my parents like you just like you can't help but think about it. You know it's such a. It's such a huge thing and like the beginning. Nfl linger on it too much get real sad but like if i've just like thinking about them it's like oh cool i'm just remembering remembering them living with them. It's as if like. I don't see my mom every day but she enters my thoughts. My dad enters my thoughts. It's your way them around. I think there's anything wrong with that. I also think that. I heard someone say recently like there is no closure and i. I think i agree with that. Like there is no like put it to bed. There's no like that doesn't exist out. You're allowed to grieve forever as long as you just like. you know. honor your own life. I feel like that's the important thing is like the person because if you die like if any one of us died you would be more sad if you're able to look down and saw that a lot of other people's lives were distraught. Because you died do like i was thinking about that with dx. I saw that clip of of When his when. I guess when his body left the hospital in white plains new york they were like you know a couple thousand people out there and they were all cranking. That like i'm slipping. I'm falling. I can't get up. You'll i'm slipping and everyone was playing that as a tribute as the car took his body away and i thought like oh you know if he had known how many and i don't know enough about him to know what his story i know it was. He was an addict or whatever. But i don't know what he relapsed with whether it was heroin or coke or something like that but like But i just wonder sometimes like oh if you knew how much people connect with you. Would you take better care of yourself. I mean myself included like you know yet don't is that like while we're on scary topics like you're not a new new dad but it is a relatively new thing. Does that activate the sort of life. Fuck yes instantly of like. What if i'm not around at some point like it's totally literally depends on you like a purse. Ads really really scary. Like the first thing you do is just by fucking life insurance and like yeah. Let you live off human giant residuals. You got again. It's also weird like knowing that. I have life insurance i also. It totally is a motivator for my wife to poison me like i know that like oh we'll be fine like if we into an argument or something like she can just back over me with the car you know and like she'll be fine you know like she's got. I guess what i'm saying is if anything happens to me. Everybody listening as best. We know double check everything. Looks check the check the nest cam. I don't think. I don't think it was a full blown accident. That hugues head was underneath the minivan. Why head be under the back tire. Now it's like now she's killing you over but the the kid thing for sure is a big motivator for for a and then when you you know when i catch myself doing the drinking too much or smoking too much or whatever you know i'm just like oh am i. What am i doing should not be doing. I know that i shouldn't be doing this. But i also late at night and i also want to relax and stress and yeah and i always want to give this up. Yeah but yeah and is it crazy because does having a kid make you think about because you're no longer so self centered can't be even if you are in a relationship you eliminate some self-centeredness but once you have a child that feel like you start to think of like the world without you like for the first time because i'm not once i'm like i don't have a kid. I don't know if we're gonna. We're not planning on having any. But if i'm gone i'm gone thing like thinking about being got like That's it's it's weird. It is scary when one good thing. I think that like They didn't have before that we have the benefit of and it sounds really dumb is just like Digital shit on the internet. You know like you will if you get shot by an assassin. Tomorrow there's eight hundred million. I mean how many episodes of this three hundred something episodes of the. There's so much material that your friends and all can such a fucking dead people are listening to me. A mac weldon ad. I'm like thousand nine. Yeah yeah aches right right right. That deletes browser history. All my podcast and shit like a life alert for when i know. I'm finally go on. Mike nuke everything do. That's a great idea for business. Someone should start that sort of thing instead of like lifelock or one of these like identity theft. No clean up your reputation right when he died. Your wife call us. We'll come in and delete your podcasts. Any old clips of you doing drugs. Everything all the porn and we'll get it all cleaned all no one thinks both of fake instagram's and your real whatever you need so funny. Do you have any fears as a grown man that you understand are irrational. But it's just like something you've decided like. That's just something. Well that's what we deal with now. Like you know like 'cause i i will say i do get myself and i think it's because i'm a stoner end because i i like to have a a rabid imagination. I like final destination a lot of situations like if some if tiffany is like a pair of scissors on the counter. Like i see that sliding off in my going into my foot like shattering like all the nerves in my foot and i never play. Sports like just happened to me. And i'm like got to put these scissors away. And it's like we are both adults like scissors could be on the counter to and that's what's wrong. I'm so like cognizant. I think once you've lived a long time to. You've seen a lot of dumb happen so you're just like it can happen anytime dude. I fell down the stairs the other day like we have like you know a flight of stairs in our house. It's like whatever eight carpeted stairs. But i've now fallen down twice in my socks because i'll just like miss the top step and just go flip and then just fucking eight or nine stares down carpet. It's not going to kill me. But like the first time i did it. It scared the shit out of me was like what because it's so fast and it's so violent you know every three years that fall is going to get scarier and more dangerous that's crazy. That's the old that's totally. That's what i think about. All the time is like. I hit my knee on the coffee table so hard yesterday when i was going to grab something that it made me sort of fall over the coffee table and and and i can kind of show you in my office. See the coffee tables next to the couch. But i hit it so hard. That i decided to like fully skateboard bail and dive onto the and i was just like just to not like crush this table and i land and i was like oh and so much pain and i hurt my shoulder when i landed of course because i'm too big and too old to do that but then i was like man if i was like fifteen years older this could have been like a trip to the hospital a few days in bed like holy on thirty third birthday. I went to get into my car. And i twisted my back the day before my third birthday and i twisted my back and i couldn't move on my birthday and the day after and and it was like a year after i moved here so i was feeling like a more of a grownup and then that happened. And i'm like well now. You need to get in shape. Not just for aesthetics you need to get into shape so that like you don't miss out on things and that's like the all that's how i know i've gotten all the time i need cardio so that i can hike much impeach you someday like. If you're a dad you're like to live longer. I want to be able to play ball with you. Know especially their new york and l. a. You having in your kids at thirty eight and thirty nine. You're like. I need to be able to play sports with her them. Take them to their. I got to be able to do all that. And it's like oh so in the last year. I've been like my. It's no longer about. Like how much can i squad or trying to get big muscles on my. You need to live as long as possible. I'm like you guys do crossroads. Crosswords crossroads. I gotta sink crossroad at karaoke bone thugs and harmony favorite. Gotta do man they they need to fucking get hurry up with the like little nano bots. You know that people talk about like pretty soon. They're going to start in. Yeah yeah with like nanotech and that'll just like knock out all of these like bad genes and cancer cells and all that like everyone keeps in like. Oh it's like ten years away it's like well it might be like twenty years away but like by then come on like way too old like i need you to freeze me now. Like stop any aging. That's going on. Like i just want them to to get ahead of that now. That's funny instead of training for longevity your trading to last long enough to get experimental xactly exactly. Yeah i got to stay alive long enough to get the nanotech in my blood to get the science down but what you said about like do A as a as a dad. You worry about irrational stuff like i. Don't worry that much about me Just because i feel like. I'm you know i'm like a. I'm not like a a huge guy but like i i don't worry about like getting jumped or anything like that or like getting mugged stuff like that but i do worry like if you look around the house i worry about like. Oh there's a fucking marble. My kid could put a marble like a hard. Can't you worry about choking scissors like we have. These magnetic kitchen scissors on their frigerator. My kid always grabs those. So it's more stuff that she could do to hurt herself. You know like sticking her tongue in a light socket or anything like that. We have you and your learning like monthly thing that like. That wasn't even something was worried about that. I didn't even think a child could or would do now. My kid did that so now. That's put it on the list of things that's like. Hey let's go check and make sure that she's not diving out of her crib or whatever. The new scary scariest thing when you have a kid is when it's quiet in the house you're like what what the fuck it so quiet alarming like i'm used to chaos and someone screaming and complaining about this when it's quiet and like fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck your room. And she's just like standing there playing with her riot doll. Thank god you're just a normal ken. Yeah that's that's funny. That's parenting thing right when you're young and they're quiet you're worried you think the worst when your kids are older. And they're quiet. You're like what are they fucking up my mom. My just pushed the door open if we were being really quite all three boys so if we were all together my mom would just be like guys me too quiet in here. What's going on. we know we. She knows we're up to no. Yeah that's so funny man. I come from three boys two and shout out to parents of three boys. Can you imagine that shit. Never have three boys. I would be. That would be so hard so hard. My youngest brother was my mom's attempt like we need a girl totally know. Fuck another boy. Should we name him. I don't give a fuck him do you. Where do you fall in the order. I'm in the middle the middle. I'm the oldest. I think by the way. Andy daly is also one of three boys one of two. Yeah and and we were talking about that. Are your brothers. funny they are yeah. Yeah because my brothers. My brothers are very funny and daly's brothers very funny to our. I'm i'm the only professional but both of my brothers if you ask them would probably say that. They're funnier than of course an but it is it. Is i think that there is a weird competitiveness with comedy. You know. I definitely like i in a sometimes it gets out of hand. I feel like in new york. I remember Sometimes with like stand ups and stuff you'd hear and see kinda shitty nece but but the there's something that just sort of like drives you forward when you're around. People like trying to keep up at the almaty being funny. I think starts out. I think everyone is probably figured that as a defense mechanism you feel weird or shy or awkward or or. It's an easy way to make friends. And you know how you got a positive reaction from yes. And that's the lizard. Brain should have been unlocking is like i think i started doing like being funny because it was better than my dad yelling. Which laughing at me to that. I'd bring it to school where i'd be like do people like me does. Is the future mad at me while if i make them all laughed and i know they're on my and then i've been trying to please strangers and friends for the rest of my life. Isn't it weird. How much of. That comes from stern dads. I had the same thing. I mean you know. My dad was super cool. But like had you know a stern side to him and could like be like You know it's probably a generational thing to his probably everyone our ages. Dad's were tough feel. It's also just having fucking three boys. It's just exhaust. You guys shot up. Like i'll be going crazy but because of that and because i was in the middle i ended up being kind of like the peacemaker and wanting my dad to laugh and not to be so serious because i felt like i was walking on eggshells a little bit. You know so you get good at being funny and then yeah you just carry that into school and then once you get a laugh in school. That's fucking crack. Yes we do this. I could be mega hetero normative as a while. I'm being honest. The second you get a cute girl to lay your okay. I i'm gonna get to kiss any of these chicks right by them laughing at me. The door in school to get aware sweatpants in ninety eight because parents don't buy eugene's because they're too expensive. You've got to make people laugh quarterly. That is so funny. But yeah sir. The stern fam- by dad was also very funny. But like the asshole bully way that i also okay. Yeah and then my mom. I think because she was married to him became very funny in a self deprecating and able to take relentless jokes like my mom is going on thirty five years of being the butt of jokes from four men surrounding her and she and she and so i try to take both of their powers into my comedy of like be acquitted. Asshole like my dad but then also destroy annihilate myself like my mom 'cause also way more people like my mom like my dad so that's also something to keep in mind. I know that's how that's so funny. Because my mom was really funny not not like super self deprecating but just like very quick and very like was a great straight man like a just like in in very charming at. My mom was from the south. So it was like very charming and like warm and But not like Silly or something like that but But my dad was like Funny he was funny but not as funny as my mom like my mom was just always being funny and also really love to watch comedy also like. We all grew up watching saturday night. Live comedy movies and stuff like that so she loved that. And what's also weird about my mom connecting these two things that my mom loved to scare us. My mom used to love to scare us. Which i think is obviously why i like the feeling of being scared like you're sort of obsessed with it like it's been part of your comedy it's always liked about you and and you us like wriggle together especially your comedy is like the things you guys do intended guns and its jet skis and it's like but then even as you g- went on and we're doing more serious stuff it's always like you're obsessed with ghosts. You're trying to get those stories and shit like there's something going on there where there's something yes i think. A lot of it is just like when i was a kid my mom would. We'd be watching. Tv in the summertime in our family room. We had screens on our windows in the summertime. You just open up the window to let some erin and my mom would go out in the backyard and put on this jacket with a hood and put the hood up and she would like come up to the windows and then put her nails on the screen and not say it was. We'd be like a little boys like in our pj but she loved to do stuff like that like so that that sort of jumped scare. I love to the point now. Where like around halloween. If i go to universal or some thing hollywood nights. It's like my favorite they. My wife loves to so what we'll do is we'll go in. This is so stupid and if it's really crowded will stand there and let everyone go ahead of us like so. They're trying to get like a friend experience to let them reset so that they'll grab us. I get super stoned. So that i bug out super easily. Make it so hard on myself. Because i want to feel the fear so like edibles and be like what am i doing. What am i doing it just like work myself up. 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Twelve free meals go to hellofresh dot com slash high twelve and use code high twelve for twelve free meals including free shipping hellofresh. America's number one meal kit mighty jump scares is that also because that's an all boys thing too because once once we were old enough it was like. Hey jason like my youngest brother like we're downstairs downstairs. Lights are all out where not anywhere to be seen. It's like we're going to scare the shit. We did that to each other so because it is close enough to laughter. It's so close. That's that's what's so interesting to me is like horror and comedy are the only two things i think where as far as like performance. Or whatever where it's a physical reaction you. A laugh is so close to a release you know and it's the same thing as just relieving that tension and funny joyful in there but they they do feel the same way in that they both feel like tension relief in that also sometimes. When i'm really scared my reaction is like a laugh like it is like shit like that. It's like the name. And that's why. I think like comedy directors make it harz and people because they know it's about. Yeah and when you just a gordon. Green david gordon. Green does the franchise joining. He'll appeal all have that. Like perspective. Like john and a lot of good horror comedy moments. That work didn't know what they're doing. You also just made me think of something when you started this comedy horror conversation. There's something to be. Said about those two mediums or art forms or genres. Whatever you wanna call it have a binary as to whether or not they succeeded right whereas drama is just like two people at a fucking diner just talking about whatever but comedy like. That's the thing that's why people either. They either love a comedy movie or they hated. That doesn't speak to them at all. Same thing with hor. It's like that was either a great war movie or fucking suck. Also i would argue. That's why a horror comedy movie is impossible to do because you just are. You're pissing off half of the audience like audience. There's no big diagram. Yeah yeah pissed off. Paul tabs something. It's a real. It's like a fool's errand to make a horror comedy. And i love the idea of that but it's just really hard to do. Some horror. movies are smart will every now and then have like a small laugh. Yeah i think that's the move to is just like put funny people in real horror movie and just like you know at laugh at so i mean also. I think you've been in like three different horror comedies. I've i've written you know it's gotta work and then you and you're like yeah no. It's can't be that scary. If you're trying to be goofy like you step on chart it's hard. It's just like you you end up like disappointing people in psalm in some former fashion but but yeah it's But it is. It is fascinating man. How how things are so closely related and how directors especially in writers who write one genre can jump over to another one for sure. There's a lot of the same. Like sort of scaffolding of like lull them into complacency. Surprise them with this whether it's a bloody hand or rubber chicken. Yeah yeah but it but it is true. What you said is that like people has to. Have you have to have a physical reaction in both or you failed whereas you could watch you know. An hour of this is us. Which i'm not picking on the show. I don't know anything about it but like you know and it's like okay. That couple broke up and then but they might get back together. It was a good episode. And there's no but it becomes subjective. I really liked that. Didn't like this episode. But if you watch a comedy and you laugh you can't say didn't find it funny. Yeah and that's like so. There's instant some someone told me and i don't want to. I won't name drop this person because they're disparaging in an entire industry but they were like they're like what were comedy tv writer for while then got on a hour long drama show and i was like doing that. Must be about that. Must be crazy. And they're like no. It's easier imagined writing but you don't have to worry about it be funny. It's much easier than you have to do. Drama and comedy to write comedy. You have to write the story. It has to be a good story. The network execs are always about like relationships grounding. Make this real. Make this real and at that point. You're like now. I also have to be funny. It's like fucking right an hour lunch. Yeah you don't. There's no jokes at all talking. Just talking do you have. Do you have any fears or have you ever been in a situation like physical. You are like have you. do you get in fights. Have you ever been in a fight. Have you ever have come up to you and like trying to start shit with you. I have not been in a long time and again i like to call that big male privilege. That's just like yeah. I'm like i think running us like you said earlier. You're not worried about getting mugged. I think it helps that. We are a large man but also our circles. We ran in for so long comedy. So i was never in like he's always easily one of the five strongest people at a party like like because of the cruise we iran in. But i was a dirtbag kid and a college. You know party animal rugby player and i got an a shift on a fist. Fistfight and i got. John got knocked down. I've knocked people out. But not in like i would million years. Yeah not unlike twenty years have put my thought about putting my hands on someone. Weird thing happened. Maybe i think five years ago i was with my wife and we are going to get sushi and like i'm not really scared of this but but but right after this happened it was so unsettling that It wasn't fear it was just such a weird feeling. But i'll tell you what happened so we're in a restaurant we're in a sugar fish in studio city big deal. I can afford it. No big deal guys. I can afford sushi but a nosey kala whatever the big one that's i'll take the biggest most executives so we're in there and there's like maybe two other tables there's a table next to us another couple and then there's like a four top two couples sitting across the way and this is before the pandemic. It's like five years ago so this other at this other Bigger table this one. Bro is just like talking about fucking really loud. He's like oh yeah dude. So fucking this and fucking com of was fucking common all over her face. I was fucking and she was like in the guys with his girlfriend. And then this other couples there. I don't know but it was just like an i. I don't give a fuck about any. I watch porn. I'm all for all of that. But i was just eating sushi. I don't wanna hear about this guy. I was just eating oysters sauce out of a cucumber and it was more that and it was more like my wife was like these people are just being loud. It wasn't just that they were talking about calm and shitting on each other or whatever if they were screaming and that's the beautiful birth story of our twins or whatever you'd be less likely to shut up but if they're screaming shit like grass. Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah and he just seemed like a fucking asshole so so my wife was kinda. Give me a looking like saying these guys. Or whatever. And i was like they were. It was impossibly obnoxious. I can't explain. I can't overemphasize how obnoxious they were being So i thought okay. I'll just say something. So i kind of just like lagat. The guys i and i was like hey man you mind and they were all kind of like. Oh okay bro okay. Did you hear them all getting egged on like someone. They worked themselves up. I knew this fucking bully crew move. Because i've been on both sides of that going. Fucking annoying co sucks man. Medical police children's hospital. I d. i am this guy but so the kept going kept going after. I had said something so then i thought okay. I'll just politely go over. And just say hey you know so. I walk over there. Hey man for real like d mind. Like i'm just eating dinner with my wife like do you mind just being cool and they're like okay bro. Fuck you walk away. Asshole walk away. And i was just like so mad. I just swallowed it. Down went and sat back down my wife. i'm eating. They kept going. He's talking about licking his balls fingering his astle bub-bubba like just to try to previously this. And so and also just to keep tying in previous topics and this conversation as one of three boys. I know when someone's purposefully entire childhood was like. I'm not trying to bother you. But i am right outside your door. Yes you know what i mean like. It's like the little kids should. And i know you know how to provoke somebody. It kept going on kept going in there talking about me and they're saying like fuck you fuck in so i was just like in. The restaurant is not doing anything like those sugar. Fish people were like outside smoking or something so long story short. I walk over to the guy a second time. And i was like. Hey man and at this point the guy stands up and gets in my face. And it's like the biggest. Like he's like conan o'brien tall like this is like six nine and now i'm noticing the t. shirt that he's wearing is like some m a t shirt and i'm like oh god yeah always gonna kill me. He gets right my way in my face needs like what what are you gonna do. What are you gonna do bro. What are you going to do. And i thought i was thinking like. What do i d like. Do i take a bottle and smash him in the head. Like all i did was just like stare at him and i go really man really and like all i could do and it's just like a weird staring thing so i walk away at this point. The sugar fish people came. And they like ask them to leave or whatever and they. They laughed and they were furious. They're like fuck you dude. You came over our table. Gotten our face so this story doesn't have a huge payoff edited out but it was thing don't miss. It was so stressful in as soon as they left. Notice that like. I was sweating like you're on. Clinches your vision i had. I had gone into like tunnel vision mode and you you were hesitant v pray. It's such a weird thing. That's so of course since then i've thought about the the dump out sensation right after that's always after the big anxiety like fighter flight moment for your ticket johnson. I'm like oh my god. I got shit so bad. What was my body doing for the last clenching everything clenching. Everything and just surging adrenalin to keep you alive. You know but of course you know since then i just have come up with replayed it a million times in my head like oh. I should've taken my belt off. Because i like. My belt is a weapon you know. And then of course. I went on amazon and was like looking to order. You know fuck in flap. Black jackson like concealable non lethal weapon. But it's such a dumb in reality what you've got to go. All the way back to is just like to me. I send a bottle of sake to that table sake goes over there. Go over there and go. This is my gift to you to shut the fuck up with even you. Just think of all the alpha moves could've done and instead but that's the scary thing about like i mean. This is why women in general are afraid of men but like so many dudes are just living in different world than we are where it's like. I'm not gonna get a fistfight at sugar fish. And this guy's i i'm willing to get in a fistfight yogurt. You're like i'm fish with my wife. I'm forty years old. Just wanna eat this. I'm a little too stone a little too drunk to have sex when we get home where i can't wait to get home and watch the rest of british bake off and now this guy i'm gonna kick someone's ass while i'm at this restaurant. I'm going to show my friends that i can beat the shit out of this dude. Yeah it's such a fucking hammer. Nail shit all these dudes. They consider themselves hammers. So everything they see is fucking nails they learn and they're like a half to use it so there's no way there's no way if you learn like i remember when i was little hearing that like oh if you study karate or something you can never use karate you know. It's only like a life or death that like you would get beat up before you would use it. You know but like there's no way you learn that shit you're going to want to use it. It's like these cops like if you give a cop of the police department him rally things on their belt to fuckers ain't gonna body armor and shit like that's why are going crazy because we've militarized police too. I mean that's a whole other conversation. Yeah that's another thing to be scary thing. Yeah and and we are in like the safety of white house of age yet. But it's fucking scary. It's fucking imagine. Imagine how fucking terrifying it is to be a black man getting pulled over. I mean you know we could talk about this for ever. But so scary. Solstice horrifying events like it was nikki. Glaser one time said something about like men. Don't even realize that jogging at night is male privilege. It was just and just like that between that and hearing about the black experience and shit is like i have been on my my quote unquote hard life. My poor childhood. Blue-collar i just because i was poor doesn't mean i didn't benefit from being white and that be a man and that's what i learned. Now i like and i learned a few years ago. People are learning this at daily which is important. But i was just like fuck man all the shit that i thought i was scared of. It's like not even shit that like people are like we're worried about something. It's a luxury for you to be afraid of that. It's a privilege that i am afraid of fuck in a guy in a sushi restaurant beating me up and not getting right because it because a woman is afraid of every man like potentially afraid of every man because every man is potentially a predator or a problem or an issue. Yeah what's what you said about about white privilege. She liked the term white privilege. Y- when you said that you know you were like a working class guy. Or whatever i think. The term white privilege is such a terrible term because it's or difficult term because people that because it makes you think of like elitist People that don't work at all you know they're just like other privileged whereas like a if you're a blue collar working person you work really hard you can still be have white privilege which you do but the term makes it sound like you know The terms offensive. Like you just didn't. But the term white privilege just unearned benefits of being white. It doesn't even mean cloud complacently took advantage of it. either. That's the other thing that i think like to articulate the generation above me as like privilege what are you talking about blah blah blah. I've been working since i was sixteen years old. It's like okay in gabriel's family member of who will not get named for sure. I do you remember when you moved from one town to another town for a very specific reason because it was the better school district a wider neighbourhood. Remember when you moved on up like what what is that. Why is that neighborhood better than the other neighborhoods. Why why and you tell me why school better there. That's fucking weird right. I mean i'm talking about long island which is very much like whatever the school district version of gerrymandering is. There's just like random like yeah this is like that's where the nine black families in the town and well they don't go to that elementary school. They go to the other one right right. I mean you know you can argue that. Not being aware of this being oblivious to it is also privileged like that as well as you have the option of ignoring this. You have the option of thinking about this because you are white it will not affect you you are in the majority. You don't understand what it is like to be in the minority and half to think right right and we're not saying anyone is purposefully like we don't white privilege is on us the actor. It's on his systematic as well like you are participating in it. But i'm not saying i'm i'm devoid of it. I'm just trying to be aware of like. I'm trying to think about that more and be be cognizant of like what i am doing in the things that i think about the choices i make this whole what. What about this just to jump back to fear for awhile. What do you have anything like. Do you have any of those class. Classic or adjacent phobias. The because i have i have light. Claustrophobia i i get very stressed area. Something is touching both my shoulders If i feel squeezed a little bit like activates anxiety in me. Planes are hard concerts or hard. If i'm trying to eat and it's like a crowded place. Someone's touching me while. I have a hard time eating like there's a lot and i and my mom is also claustrophobic. That's why she doesn't fly or like. I don't know what that genetic or if i heard about it from her. If i'm explaining this weird anxiety. I have about a bunch of different things under some claustrophobia umbrella. But that is something that like. You know if. I don't like to wear restrictive clothing or really clothing too much to be having pants and like layers in heavy clothing on. Like stresses me out too. I learning that. As i get older which is like and then i realized like some of the scary shit from my childhood was like remember that movie. Cats is the stephen king. Movie that was different scenes. Want is drew. Barrymore where the troll holder. No shut sucks. Scarier that is burned in my head is one of the scariest things i've watched it like a couple of years ago as a grownup and i'm like this is hilarious. That i was scared of little toy. Like i said i didn't sleep for like a year and a half because this movie but i think getting your face covered the suffocation that all is under that caused yeah i don't i don't have it to the degree that you do like. I'm not afraid of flying or anything like but my brothers are pilots. My dad was a pilot so like they just sort of explain to me how a plane is like not generally a plane is like not gonna fall out of the sky but but i do have like suffocation stuff like that is really scary. You know but. I think that's from when i was little like my older brother. Like put a pillows of your head or wrestle you down with a blanket and you'd like get it off get it off you know can't convey tapping out was not a thing. Yeah one time. I was in new orleans four new years. This is a million years ago. When i was in college and there were so many people there for new year's and right is like It turned over. There was such a huge crowd on the street like everyone surge and i was in the middle of this crowd and it was that thing of just getting squeezed like i'd never been squeezed that much But it was weird. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Like both parts of the crowd. Were squeezing me together and that was terrifying. But i hadn't thought about that until just now. It's so weird. Like yeah that that sort of like being squeeze not being able to breathe. Yes loss of agency. There are a loss of control to kinda stressful in a way where you're like. Oh i can't do the thing. I want to do right now. Which is move this way or move that way. Yeah i go. I feel restricted in some way and feel saying that the thing that seems so scary to me is when you see like this i would just never be in this position but like cave divers you guys down and dive through like water filled caves at where there's no light and they're just using through like a tiny little those rescues when they get the miners out of the cave. Yeah do it. I i just like guys. I'm so sorry. The soccer team is going to die down there and get them like they're just they're going to die. You know i got scuba certified in twenty nineteen something that i was dealing with like i. I've always wanted to do. But i was a little afraid. Yeah and then. I went did it and it fuck in it. I haven't been in a situation in which i truly needed to overcome my fear to like live in the moment that i was in like in a long time and that's a cush life. I'm a comedian. I'm not that nervous about going. I don't ever get really nervous about going on stage. And i'm never in a high stakes enough audition that i get activated to some level of nerves. It's always like this. Why are they gonna pick me for this. And so i've never had that but for this scuba diving down to the bottom of the day. Two were in the ocean. We're off fucking catalina. Thirty feet down at the bottom of the ocean and the pacific is scary man. The pacific is so much scarier than the atlantic the pacific. Like you can't see it's pretty dark it's cold it's so cold it's so weird and i you've got so much stuff on with the weight belt. The wetsuit and stuff. And i feel so overwhelmed and the guy. The guy comes over. And i gotta do my test where like take my massgov. Put it back on and clear it. Take my tank buddy breath. I gotta do all this shit and he comes over to me. And i like as an adult man for the first time just said like give me a hand gesture for like gimme like a couple of minutes. I'm fucking melting down at the bottom because the big fear for me is you can't you. Can't you up scott. Yeah that's exactly. I was gonna say it's like the fact that i can't just shit hit the fan. Get outta here. it's like no. You gotta go slow. It's like i can't handle that and so you start. I felt trat. And then also the mask was giving me tunnel vision. Which was making me feel more close. And then all the way and then you don't hear anything but your breathing and you feel physical pressure of being thirty feet deep. That you're like it activated claustrophobia. In in me. That i could not handle. Yes but it's full on panic. i have to. I like for the first time in my adult life. I had to be like well. There's nothing you can do. You know what i mean like. You're at the bottom of the ocean man like you just. I just start like breathing. Super long and slow. Just casual guy comes back to me. And i'm like i can do it and then a couple of minutes later we're just swimming around doing like the tour where the instructors like found swimming around a little jetty looking at little reefs and stuff like that and you're like instantly floating in the middle of the ocean and it does not and then it's the exact opposite of claustrophobia which i can't explain it's outer space. You're an outer space. Two minutes later. I was gonna say i went from feeling like i was in the vice of death to i was soaring through an alien world. Dude post together. those two sensations. That's wild to me again. I gotta say this sounds like the whitest fucking privileged conversation to white guys talking about scuba. But what are we afraid of. Not cops sharks yes squid. Yeah but but i remember in high school. I went scuba diving a couple times with my dad and like you can become you. Have that vest on that. You can inflate with air. A little bit come neutrally buoyant and you don't have to go up or down. You can literally like hang upside down in the water in just like float and it's just fuck in outer space that's all it's a man. It looks like outer space. You're all of a sudden you're like this is kinda weird that these fisher. This color right like ask that starts happening where you're like. This is a weird place down here. Yeah and then you hear from someone. It's like the ocean as undiscovered as outer spaces like oh like that level of unexplored and your we've barely even seen any yeah. I was When when i was in college the my freshman year in college. I joined like the skydiving or the skydiving club just for just to do that. Sort of thing of like all will wets like the scariest thing i can do to try to like force myself and i don't know why i what motivated me. My dad had had gone skydiving when he was young. And i thought well just do that. And so i went and did like You know. I did it for a few months and i didn't tell my mom or my dad because i knew they would make me quit. I finally told my dad. My dad was like no no. No no. No no yeah. Pilots are like skydiving fucking plane. My dad my dad. I guess when he was in a million years ago and he was in the air force he jumped out of a plane and with skydiving and then his back before when they had like huge parachutes. You couldn't steer the ended up like stuck in a tree like upside-down got all hung up. And so he was like you can really get hurt. And he made me stop. I skydive once in college as well. Yeah i had to lie to tiffany about it. She was like. I don't want you skydiving. i'm like i would never and then i went and did it and this is one year into are now twenty year relationship but i was like i just had to fuck this long ago it was. I got a vhs. Tape with u2's beautiful day. Playing the gun. Jimmy skype so funny pinpoint that exactly. Oh three yeah but what if fucking terrified like like the same sort of thing. I think when you're doing it it's exhilarating but the plane ride up before you the worst i've ever so your body is like shitty. Every poor is oozing something you know. It's is all fucking scary like that. I can't get down without going out that door and you've got do strapped you already like when i did it. It was a it wasn't a tandem jump like it was the standard line. Yeah i did five static lines. After five static lines i did two solo jumps. So i have like seven jump but Yeah in this club. That i was in that you'd go up like a little plane like a little cessna you'd be packed in there like three other people. They open up the door. And you'd step out and you'd hang on the support. Beam of the wing is called like the whatever the something strut and you'd hang onto that like fucking monkey bar and then you just let but just knowing that that moment is coming is like these areas in jumping. Yep even now when. I hear whatever i was in college thirty years ago even now when i hear a plane going really slow in like way i can. I can look up their me. Like oh that might be skydivers. Going so slow i can kinda get nervous like i kind of on behalf of those people so crazy. Well you said something here before not getting nervous going on stage. Did you never get 'cause. I got nervous for. I would say years at. Ucsb like before a show. Before i went out there just those butterflies and i finally had to like kana recalibrate my brain to think when i feel butterflies. That's something good. Like guess tried to trick my brain and to be fun. Yeah exactly. I have since early on. I've always felt comfortable. Unless i had to do something like if it's like line memorization or presentation or something when i can get anxiety but when it was improv were like go stand up in front of the class. Gabriel it's like shit always because i can lean on narcissism egomania for that that gives me like an armor because i'm also my own toughest critic and again tying it all back to be an all boys house. I was relentlessly abused about every single choice. I made in my life. Like i could just handle people just Souls can't hurt me. Yes exactly why. I'm comfortable bombing. Auditions me. where it's like people are like. i'm embarrassed fuck that casting director. They can't even. they can't even do it as bad as i did. I mean yeah. I don't deserve the job. But i also see. I'm not going to be embarrassed by this fucking lady with the vhs camera. Whatever yeah yeah. Yeah yeah do you. Is there a. Is there any sort of animal that you would hate to be eaten by. Like i used to think about getting eaten by an alligator would be the fucking scariest thing because they just they. I think they drown you and then they roll you washing machine of death. Yeah they like bite you and then spin with you because they can just keep breathing. And you're just dude i. I'm a big time. Beach guy spent a lot of time in the ocean. Tell me bro. I mean i've seen you out at the beach man. You run that fucking. I run the fucking beach My wife is terrified of sharks. I am not. But i have. I spent an inordinate amount of time and the ocean surfing. And all that shit. And it's just like. I've never like so whenever tiffany brings it up. She's like are you afraid of sharks or someone's like and i go. I'm in their world. I understand that. I'm hoping i never have to interact with them but i i know i'm playing at their house. Guest and that attitude for some reason like has protected me from not afraid of sharks. Because i'm like they. This is a deal between the two of us. They know. I'm going to come in. And i am very. I am hairless giant with a big belly and tan. I m seal like starve. You are a total shark bay. And i have. I've always have a full-time menstrual cycle going. So i'm always. I'm always bleeding. In the water super high risk catas- myself in seal fast just whacks. My word florida wetsuits. In order to keep myself. I think that's really scary though man like the The ocean is fucking really scary. I think i mean you're in it. Sounds like you're in the ocean more than me but like that man in the pacific is just like a so scary. I i i think. I'm not really scared of sharks that much but i feel like every time i turn on the news. There's like twenty sharks in malibu or santa monica i don't know whether we've just overfished the oceans or there are no more fish all coming and water temperatures too because they they haunting like warmer waters and here. And they're here now. God yeah it's fucking where the what we're doing to ourselves is like insa- it's just a matter of the time and it is it's kind of funny to to talk about fear in twenty twenty one. Where sort of and at least for some people. I'm saying maybe some some of the more empathetic people and peers. more clearly. There seems to be like our own fears are no longer our issues. It's like there are bigger like societal wide and the real i'm worldwide. Talked about exactly a real thing to be afraid of the whole terrorism thing for years after nine eleven. We re sort of taught to believe like. Oh we need to be afraid of these people from other countries attacking us like no way dude. It's like these nut jobs in the these like backwoods militias that have been stockpiling guns. Yeah and then we should be the terrorists they we may still get more attacks on them. We this may happen to but why were we so actively afraid of that. Why why was that. Such a big part of our life. But there's not i don and there's just so much shit to be afraid of global scale whether it's guns the world setting on fire natural disasters texas freezing over wildfires in california people scary white people cops state whatever like climate change. Yeah there's just so much shit going on at once that like it's like fuck my claustrophobia. Like oh it's not something. I have time to deal with in a sort of like positive. Like hokey hands across america. Way of life rob at no time to worry about eating sugar fish. Gabor's no time to worry about shark attacks. We have other things to worry about. And it's like let's and and it's almost like we're saying this person's fear or this fear that affects more of us is definitely more important than my own personal fear here. So let's let's approach that or let's let's see what we can do about that but with so insane about the situation that we're in is that the And i think i you know. I don't know what your what your listeners are. What the demographics of this podcast are. But but you. And i seventy five percent immobile have never made eye contact with. Anyone is my guess jazzy. Scooter clientele it's all. It's all this people that cannot get out of bed. They cannot they choose not to get out of me if they could. They wouldn't know sorry but but we'll just what we're talking about the way that we are. Or what am i trying to say. The way that you and i are saying that we're afraid of these scary big huge global issues and our society sort of spinning out of control and being so divided and one side is armed to the teeth. Their side you could argue is also consumed by this fear that it is not a i would say a real fear. You know what i mean like. They're being fed fear on fox news. All the time be afraid. Be afraid of demographics. Be afraid that the demographics are shifting and white people are not going to be in the majority anymore. Rain of union unions. Make you pay. Dues be afraid of solar power because the windmills will kill a deer. Afraid of this because and it's all and then this is the shit that disheartens me the most is just like because it's all four eight people to make one more dollar for all it is is for the coke brothers to it. Goes all the way up to the top on both sides where it's like every decision is being made for like the same twenty eight people and it's like and we've learned in the last few years and i mean people i've learned i should say and say we way more people have been way more informed than me for longer but i've been awakened to the fact that if at the top level decision had to be made that would affect human is lives directly in a negative way but make one penny per share at the top or one tenth of a penny. They'll gladly like we itslit hubel and gave versus throats. I think we can increase profits point. Oh one percent. They're like get my knife. Get me hubel and gabor's they would totally that's what it all. That's what disheartens me the most. It's like we're fighting fighting fighting solar power so that i can have twenty nine million dollars instead of twenty one million dollars and it's like who the fuck even is that person i'm referring to. Who knows a fucking super pac a politician or whatever but it. That's what's the most disheartening. Is that these. Decisions are being made at the top. And it's because everyone's afraid to be poor because being poor in this country is a death sentence right and it's like and it's like well. What if being poor wasn't so dangerous. Yeah then maybe someone wouldn't fight tooth and nail to make sure they leave two hundred million dollars to their two kids rather than one hundred and sixty five million after being taxed on their estate or something like that. But no like. No god forbid one of my kids ends up homeless. Because of the way i've been talking about and treating the house for the last twenty years or whatever it's like that changed the whole again that's just fear at the top fear of losing the power fear of the paradigm shifting fear of losing money. Fear all that shit makes close the wagons circle circle the wagons closed. Doors like everything. And that's that's just not what that's not going to be beneficial for our future. No we gotta be opening doors. We got everyone's gotta extent this stupid fucking thing. I've been thinking lately. Is we just all. If everyone extends their empathy to just like another six feet outside of their property lines in every direction like or another ten percent or whatever so because there's so many people who are like. I'm not a bad guy. I sent my kids to college. I did this. I did this. I did this. it's like you're not. You're supposed to be good to your family guys. I'm sorry the roles you don't get credit. It's not like i did all my homework. You're supposed to like the job now. That's what you're doing so like if we all just push our empty out like ten more percent and you just give a shit about one extra person one extra thing in life that doesn't directly affect you. I think if we all do that. That'll double triple quadruple up a lot of coverage for people and that's just that small adjustment and there are people out. There who are empathy circles are a thousand percent wider than everyone else is making up for the people who are only taking care of themselves and even for people like me who are doing the bare minimum but like there are people out there who are really pushing it and we're not even asking that from everyone we're just ask for everyone to just go ten percent for six feet further a little bit into your neighbor's yard and you know and think about them or let let one someone who's not directly in your family affected decision you make for the first time ever dude we got fucking deep five fuck indeed we got high and mighty so mytalk hubel for coming on high and mighty dude this conversation. I'm a big fan. And i love the walls and yeah it's impossible to feel frustrated with my own ability to Talk about these subjects in a new or different way. I'm just regurgitating other shit that just read about in on the internet on a more on a smarter. Podcast hold quoting. But but i agree with what we've said. Yeah as far and this is the kind of conversations we got. I think we should be having so people who overhear us like you know the mouth breathing freaks that listen high and mighty if one person is like. oh yeah. I guess that that mission accomplished although more than likely he's like white privilege. I knew he was going to go. I knew tarred hollywood. You know so he still talking about do. I'm on like a text chain with these guys. I went to college where i went to school in south carolina. And so guys. I've known for a million years. But they're all like super-conservative guys and i don't see them like a couple of them came to my wedding but anyway i am on this text chain that they'll send out like these. What they think are hilarious. Biden memes of god. Yeah this like. I'm like i know he's oldest. Faulk yes i know. He stutters because he has a speech impediment. Like i know but who ca- is better than a fucking nazi it's crazy. You're saying this because i i didn't even go to school in the south but i did go to school with a bunch of like wealthy northeastern kids and they all have houses and banking jobs now and i am no longer on a college. I escorted myself out. Because how many times do i need to see a deepfake of aoc sucking off trump and also what is even the. What are you trying to convey behind this like. What is what is your attitude behind this meme me. It's revenge porn but what like what legal. But why are you saying like what is this message. You're trying to get across the second. I had a thirty nine year old millionaire living in a gated community and connecticut. Wondering about one hundred biden's laptops and people come in and take his guns. I was like i'm done. We are not living in the same world anymore. Go spend time with your kids for sure. Why anything you want to plug where people can check you out and anywhere doing anything The only thing i would plug me and sheer do a really fun. Show on twitch on thursdays and sheer set up his twitch channel and just kind of jump on there with him It's called twitch dot tv slash friend zone twitch dot tv slash friend zone. And that's me. And paul scheer on thursdays at five o'clock pacific but yeah it's just fun. It's totally you've been on there and it's just year have been doing presentational comedy for as far as i've known you guys and you've been very good at it for ever literally crash tests literally. I do representational improv. Together for two decades now we take turns where he's the idiot one week and i'm the idiot the next week you know it's just like classic can't both be idiots someone's got to be straight man says you know but i don't want to be the voice of reason as we all right fine. I'll do it. Yeah so that's the only thing. I would plug newsday so much for having me man so thanks so get to see you too man. This has been a real boon for me being able to talk to my friends for one hour even though it's quote unquote four work or whatever but still this feels fucking great so i appreciate it man. I love it all right. Thank you very much. Bye shit heads. That was part of the world with there are no rules. Holy shit holy shit. Guys definitely have not watched this since i rented it on. Vhs in ninety two strangers united by the threat of we got all the fucking major players seagal. Putin is a good man com. Give it to me the cream pie me now. Stallone goodful you know somehow blocks the pay. I would fucking love for my wife to like. See me ripa guy's throat but they didn't count on one thing as moody's fucking insane. It's a good movie. You have to do almost all the work yourself to figure it out. There's a fantasy component there some sort fighting some lightning and banned gain towel waco. And the you know you already. More be making terminated. A great deal with russ i understand is now the twentieth ending of the movie. Dr your data action boys will be boys subscribe here for bonus content and more free stuff from behind the pay wall to get new episodes become a patron at action. Boys that biz doors come on.

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Hour 3: Back In My Day

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

00:00 sec | 2 years ago

Hour 3: Back In My Day

"To God's ear. February isn't just about one supersized football game on Spotify. There's thousands of free sports podcasts. That agonize over the preseason off seasons in plano, regular seasons of nearly every sport imaginable, basketball, baseball, hockey, soccer, curling, and even hurling. Yes. That is a real sport. Now. It's so easy to stay updated with the latest trade. Rumors predictions and scorching hot takes from some of your favorite games. Biggest names so take in one episode at a time and get one hundred ten percent of your attention to the thousands of free sports podcasts on Spotify. Because the best offense is a good podcast. I don't think that we've had quite. As strange and distorted a symbol for the modern age of social media in sports, then Antonio Brown and his inability to stay off it Antonio Brown. Eliminating any need for media by making his own announcements on things on social media. He has now broken the news that in the Rooney's met, and that they've agreed to part ways. All the news. We're getting about Antonio Brown is coming from Antonio Brown spent the weekend taking out Ben Rothlisberger while saying look respect. But I was tired of the owners mentality where he was calling me out for everything. And what I wanted to ask you guys as it relates to Antonio Brown. He's turning thirty one here during next season. And given the nature of his trouble where he's making this public mass where you know begins. I guess sort of with Mike Tomlin saying no one's to be on social media. Next thing, you know, in the locker room Antonio Brown is doing something live wild Tom Lennon's talking about that. And he's he's doing a lot of different stuff on social media. He clearly craves fame Stu got. Because you've seen him on on the Dan shows was he on mass singer Billy was on mass like he clearly craves fame. And the thing I wanted to ask you guys is this for all the analysis that you hear on your Brown and diva and whose fault is it Ben Ben or him or lady on or what's the matter with the Steelers. I put I pose you guys this question because this is the almost the greatest distortion of diva that we've seen since Terrel Owens at this position and terro, and do, you know, the backstory there's God he was raised by his grandmother's grandmother was often drinking. He. Caged in his front yard. He learned who has sister was one day when he developed a crush on the girl across the street, and he was told you cannot have a crush on her. She is your sister from that childhood came guy who enjoyed only Sundays in the end zone and wanted to be a male model and Tonio Brown was homeless in Miami at sixteen I've talked to him a couple of times about it. He's uncomfortable talking about some of the details. He's shut it down talking about some of the details. He refuses to talk about it with me anymore. And I asked you guys this question when someone's coming from that background where it sixteen your unloved. You're homeless your unloved. How much of this stuff is him? Just looking for love in the places in the ways that he discerns it with attention with you know, carving his own message. I know I'm going pop psychology on you. But there are a lot of guys in the NFL who've had rough backgrounds there aren't a lot who were homeless at fifteen. Right. I mean, I'm sure it factors in I have. I have no doubt that that factors. AM him looking for some sort of. Yes. Some love for people to respect him for people to want to have him in their huddle. This is a tricky one because he has acted in a way that he should not be acting. And regardless of all the things that have led up to this day. He should know better than to do some of the things that he's done here. Whether it's taking up band or better, these homeless who'd be teaching it. No better. But then when my Tomlin saying, hey, no, social media. And while he saying it you're on social media whether you are homeless or not at the age of sixteen. That's just hey, my boss is asking me. No, social media is my Tomlin's boss. Antonio Brown makes twice what his boss does it year three times what his boss does the year is Mike Tomlin, actually, his boss or is. He has his administrative assistant. I think he's probably the boss. I mean, I mean is he though because I think he's about all I know is that he wanted someone to play games seventeen game sixteen and that person didn't play boss I came on very badly for someone to play at the end of the season wasn't playing. So right. Antonio brown. Didn't play Antonio Brown, regardless of everything that's happened in his life. It still showed up for that raised. It's as unprofessional thing as you'll ever see. But I'm thinking that he doesn't think of Mike Tomlin is his boss when he's refusing his order there to show up for the game. But Tomlin does have the power to also bench him to to not. Doesn't have that power though. That's what's funny. He has the power, but he'd never use right, drew. So it's not a real power. I it's leverage. It's not a real power. How many times vengeance on you Brown on the last game season most recent executive he did he bench him or didn't Tonio Brown just stopped showing up for work today. Antonio Brown leave him. No choices probably another debate. But yeah, it's it's his decision as head coach. He runs the football operations. You know, the decisions I understand. But does it feel right now? Like Antonio Brown thinks Mike Tomlin is in any way. His boss doesn't seem like he's answering. Anybody at this moment Antonio Brown. I think it's interesting two things. Number one. What's his market value at age thirty one? And I'm not sure if he merits high first round draft pick. I I don't know that the market is going to be as great as he hope he's he's a great contract at twelve million a year, and he just he just led the NFL this past season and touch catch and a year ago the team according to I think it was Chris Simms. I read over the weekend. End of the team that was most aggressive in pursuing Antonio Brown was Bill. Ballot. Check in the patriots. He he wasn't great contract. That's the correction here. Because typically when someone does this this is a financial play. But Antonio Brown got his money. So a lot of people were struggling to figure out what the smell. He wants more money once more he wants more guaranteed money, and he wants to change his nickname to make Mr. big chest. That's what he's saying on social media. And he's coming off six hundred yard catch seasons hundred catch seasons in a row. So he he's in his prime right now. Even at thirty one. I'm also fascinated by the psychology of all I really think that with a lot of people for various reasons social media is a psychological addiction. We see coming out of the White House, and we see a trickling down to athletes, and in this case, you mentioned the homeless factor when he was a kid, I think that absolutely factors in you know, he's got an unfiltered platform to say, whatever he wants. And that's powerful. We have audio of Mike Tomlin sort of explaining walking the media through. Through the decision to not play in Tonio Brown. The final week of the regular season woke up Sunday morning and got a call from his agent. Drew Rosenhaus drool express that he was feeling better. And that he will potentially be able to participate outlined the drew that decisions were made like that. But I would be interested in visiting with him in person that stadium prior to the game. But playing on the menu. Okay. So Mike Tomlin decided that. And let me ask you guys this question because this is in Tony Brown being afflicted by watching all of this basketball player movement player empowerment, and realizing that he's a bit of a star and wants to be more of a star. Because I understand what you guys are doing. They're telling me that Mike Tomlin is Antonio Brown's boss, but is Alvin gentry Anthony Davis boss because I just want to know where you guys draw the line on this is Luke Walton LeBron James's boss like where do I have to put Antonio Brown? Wants that basketball power. He's making the basketball mess. Right. He's getting himself traded when they don't actually want to trade him. So where is the line on how good someone has to be before you guys are willing to accept that? They are acting as administrative assistance for the business of LeBron James, Anthony Davis or whomever else that basically after games if they haven't played well, Anthony Davis should make Alvin gentry run the sprints. The different sport. Right. Where one guy has more power. And that's Boorda means more in that sport that in any other sport. But Antonio Antonio Brown is clearly he's clearly being influenced by the idea of wait a minute. I have power here. Tom Brady's doing the same thing in forty realizing. Wait, I have actual power. And the Steelers saying, no, we have the power go. Elsewhere will win with juju Smith Schuster. That's what the Steelers are saying. I mean, well, the difference with Antonio Brown to and LeBron James LeBron James had problems with his coaches Antonio Brown seems to have the problem with Ben Rothlisberger. And he's on good terms with ownership to the point that they're meeting with each other, which is the main difference. I guess between LeBron wanting to run a team and Antonio just saying, listen, I'm out of here in unlike in the NBA Antonio Brown doesn't have the power to get together with a couple of buddies and former super team he's he's just more of a a solitary man, but he has the power to make enough of a mess that the Steelers are trading a very valuable piece under good contract that they don't wanna trade possibly for below market value. You cannot tell me. That that's not real power. You guys can tell me all you want about the constructs how they're different between, football and basketball. You will not convince me that he has not seen. What's happening in basketball knows that his money is guaranteed and can do whatever the bleep he want including wreck the Steelers season at the end. But does he have the power to demand? What team he is traded to? That's a key question. I mean. Yeah, he said if your team's got guaranteed money. So that seems so yes. But if he's if he's traded to buffalo he's another right now he can do right now. If I I'd be careful with nothing you can do right now. Given what lady I'm bell? Just didn't. I'd be careful with nothing. He could do right now. Twenty seven I mean Antonio Brown's thirty one he's got a few years left with this kind of earning power. He can also do a bunch of stuff in his free time like dancing with the stars and make some money because he's been willing to do that before. So God's ears. Nice to have a helping hand especially when it's act season. And that hand is attached to a licensed tax professional, but turbo tax live you talk to real CPA's. And e as on-demand who can reveal your return with you before you file and make sure you're getting your maximum refund. That's very very important. They can even check your work line by line. So you could be confident it's done, right. Who knew confidence and peace of mind could be synonymous with taxes. Turbo. Tax live would CPA's in e as on-demand. See details at turbo tax dot com. Donlevatar you gonna get real stugatz. I'll get. Real these live at our show with his two guys on ESPN radio, Greg Cote. He's back in my day in fifteen minutes need to preface what I'm about to say with a very Stu Godsey, and I have not read anything in this article. So I don't know anything more than the headline. I'm reading to you. But I do think it's emblematic of where we've arrived in two thousand and nineteen and how it is that we teach people about American history. I am reading a headline from simply celebrity that says John Wayne's nineteen seventy-one playboy interview draws heat. And I'm trying to figure out who's more dead playboy or John Wayne. Wow. I like honest to God, we're resurrecting a nineteen seventy-one interview on John Wayne was a was a was a racist. Elvis was a hero to most. But he never meant bleep to me. All Africa headline out of you straight up racist that sucker was. Simple and plain mother bought to believe him and John wait. Like, I mean public enemy was thinking about this long time ago, and we're reser how long ago to John Wayne dot. Second on it, Greg. This is your wheelhouse. If as ago, I was a young man when John Wayne, John Wayne. It left us in one thousand nine hundred seventy nine. Doing my Tom Cruise days. I wanna read to you guys. Here Darren reveal such a bad job by you, man, Tom Cruise days, you're calling back joke you or making from two hours ago when people had you looking like Tom Cruise in your youth. And we realized that you weren't young at the same time Tom Cruise was shot. E worse. So this is from Darren rebels got right? Sl cover ten years ago today. It's a rod on sports Illustrated's cover, and the headline is the latest and greatest to fall. And you remember this story, right? There was the awkward interview with Peter gammons. I remember hearing about this story. Yeah. I certainly did read it. And so what Darren rebel is saying is that he is not sure the sports world has seen a greater comeback ever than than Alex Rodriguez. And I'm not sure how he's measuring comeback is getting on ESPN the comeback. Because Cody does that he's not worth a bleep like what what what is the comeback for era that he's dating J lo and he's allowed to not be persecuted figure anymore. I mean, we kind of the boat sailed on that. Right. Like Barry Bonds was Mark Maguire they work in baseball or they have worked in baseball. It all starts with jaylo. Okay. Let's be very clear. It starts with dating jaylo. That's that's where his popularity starts. But Dan, he's he's like a lot of people aren't doing a rod as a punchline is a joke anymore. They are taking him seriously reason, they're not doing that. As. Because they've stopped caring about steroids. We we we wore them out on the steroid front. We only care about steroids. And evidently as it applies the Lance Armstrong now, right? But plus he's dating J lo he's doing Sunday night baseball. He's doing some other interesting stuff. Then you get social media with him teaching kids play stickball in a park. I mean, it's cute. I mean run he is turned Kim. It's amazing. And he's become cuddly in a way that Barry Bonds doesn't have that same amount of cuddly 'nice, Mark McGwire? Sammy sosa. Yeah. They all have varying degrees of reintegration into society, but they're not being celebrated in a way that Iran is way more likable now than he was even before the steroids say Charles Barkley says this all the time because he's been hosting SNL here for a while. And he's well past his prime as as both a broadcaster, and an athlete, right? Like the prime years of Barclay being shocking. And he's like he's just talking about the idea of the way people respect them. And they're like people are weird about television. You put you put endeared ORF on television. Boom. Let's get him in the hall of fame. You put John Madden on television. Boom. Let's build a video game empire around. Like television is weird in terms of the stickiness. It has on people. And maybe it is a Rod's greatest comeback merely that ESPN will employ him. But I mean. I mean, come on. What can all the people waiting? Why we employ a whole lot of people. He is really he's really dreamy though, and charming. I think it's that. All right. Put it on the poll at lebatardshow is a rod cuddly. And then follow up question is a rod dreaming to me. It's it's a bigger comeback. Because a rod was a convicted steroid user much more than than Clemens and bonds ever were convicted by band for years from the sport. Right. Well, that my baseball that part is fairly amazing. I mean, the the movie that Billy Corgan is doing I don't know when it's going to appear it's going to be soon. Good God is it going to make you laugh about what a clown show baseball and Miami work together and how Ryan Braun and Manny Ramirez and era and all of these guys were doing something like through the the bogus here. Like just how ridiculous it was that these two hundred million dollar contracts. We're going to people who were who were behaving. In clown car behavior. And it's just a rod saying, according to this. I'm not going to say any more. You could watch the movie it's called screwball. And I I was fairly amazed by what it is that they were able to do with it. Because all of this are able to sixty homers while they were able to do it through drug dealers at a tanning salon in polka like. That's correct. Baseball was never healthier. Steroids were medicine. Everybody was becoming Browner through a tanning salon in Boca cody's back in my day. Next. Gyco presents unhelpful home improvement. How To's a slippery bathroom floor can result in expensive hospital bills? So today, I'll show you how to cook a serious fall by filling your bathroom with thousands of plastic balls. Just now a piece of plywood across the doorway and dump in two thousand multicolored plastic balls, you could try to protect yourself with a bathroom full of plastic balls or you could get liability coverage through the Geico insurance agency. Visit Geico dot com and see how a forcible renter's insurance can be done. Lebatardshow? Am I holding Cody back because we get this all the time when cody's on corn is a show when he's outside the lines when he's on Mike and Mike he gets a lot of response. Wait a minute. You are a journalist. You're good at this to God's. Well. I think of myself as a professional chameleon if I'm in a blue room. I turn blue if I'm. If I'm in technicolor room. I looked like the Jeff Gordon logo. If Kornheiser wants to ask me a really serious question. I'm going to answer in kind if I'm on with somebody who wants a young and up I'm gonna put on a party hat. You know saying? Live at our show with Stu gods on ESPN radio. ESPN radio is presented by progressive insurance. Guests on the Dan lebatardshow appear via the shell Pennzoil performance line. Here's your sports center update ESPN's Jeff passan is reporting that Manny Machado has agreed to a deal with the San Diego Padres. No terms have been announced name and other Padre dairy. Those numbers matter. The the news is one thing Machado to the Padres is one thing the number. I'd be curious as Ps and Caesar there and free agency has has shut down. Discover Hoffman's still flip the butters. We can have some fun naming that entire team. I feel like we could go back and do nag it Eddie. Cotonou king of steroids. That guy I taught Consejo. The English Football League has fine lead United Georgia thousand pounds for spying on Darby counties training sessions. Therby though, this dog whatever and finally in nineteen year old name Budweiser was placed under arrest for trespassing at the Budweiser brewery at Saint Louis, it's wiser it's not wiser it's Wieser. Police say wiser entered a secured area at the brewery at after six pm on Thursday security officers told them to leave and he called police after an altercation wise, it was taken into police custody. There over four hundred crush decimated in pulverized, grapes. Cram the each bottle of Welch's grape juice, which pretty much leaves no room for anything else. No added sugars, no added flavors and definitely no mercy. The world's toughest antioxidants. Welches toughest grapes for all the way to headlines information during the sportscenter on ESPN radio all throughout the day. We have talked precious little capper Nic around here for the better part of eighteen months. But you folks who are climbing out of the woodwork saying that you demand more martyrdom from him that he shouldn't cash in any way, he's got to be more of a martyr and then when he actually becomes an actual martyr. You guys will move the goalposts then to why didn't he die better? Like, I don't know what you guys are doing. He got the bag of money. He shamed. The NFL that went after Tom Brady with zeal to destroy his heroism, and he made it look to all like he has been blackballed. Literally blackballed from the league in a way that the owners were scared of him and thought they were going to either lose that collusion case or that they were gonna get embarrassed when the depositions became public. I don't see how anyone could look at this as a win for the NFL. It's like people wanna capture knit together remainder of his life without earning. A cent. But border on their behalf. It's one thing to spend other people's money. It's another thing entirely demand. They become martyrs for you. More mortars for you total victory for camper. Nick, lawyers have told me and one of them are married to collusion is one of the hardest things to prove it would have been very difficult. But yet the NFL settles in a way that left capper Nick smiling when it's not a total victory unless he's allowed to play again, because I know many of you are not satisfied with this form of martyrdom. You're not allowing for the fact that it kinda had to hurt to have two years of your prime in athletics. Ism right taken. When to all the collusion case could have been proven just by bringing Nathan Peterman into the courtroom the way that they brought those airmen into a few good men seems like an open and shut case. Ken Rosenthal is reporting ten years three hundred million. Wow. Audra? That concludes our analysis of this while while Padres, I mean, we could make that a song right there. That is Greg Cody and Stu got jumping into action to react to the news while while Padre. What's that twenty five million a year time now for Greg cody's back in my day? Now in these to take the menorah lane. Here's your guy. Rick could he with back in my day? Men's socks. Back in my day. You basically had a couple of basic types of men's socks white athletic socks with two stripes on top for sneakers and black socks for dress shoes. Have you noticed a trend and socks? Now. Everything is about excessive variety. So boutique sought companies bloom across the landscape, the only thing in America. We haven't found a way to really reinvent the wheel after learning that experimental square and triangular tires that much lower mileage men socks have been reinvented as fashion statements or other bizarre reflections of personality. I did a quick search. This is all true. You can buy George H W Bush tribute socks socks promoting Alzheimer's awareness and other causes bright yellow socks with Cheetos logo, one company offers would have caused the scientists sock pack with designs, including rocket ships and constellations, the hipster Ville pack includes socks featuring silhouettes of handlebar moustache. Another company specializes in crazy print designs operates under the slogan. Socks can be so much more, which I reply. Yeah. But why do they need to be their socks? It seems a little odd to want to make a statement at something very few people. See if you're wearing long pants who notices sucks. It's like having a tattoo on your ass. How many people get to enjoy that? Really? It was bad enough. Having to choose among styles of socks. No-shows ox ankle socks. Calf socks therapeutic Nissan's cotton or nylon or blends? But at least the problem was black or white now with all the myriad colors designs and statements one needs an entire walk in closet. Just for his damn socks. I'm a salesman less. We lost them. Gila Cutty account was late for a big meeting. Paralyzed by sock indecision weeping in my bedroom. Folks, if your feet could talk that tell you don't over think it. Nope. Get back to basics when you're not around your shoes are talking among themselves saying the same thing they want to run and hide when you fill out those socks student with wine glasses and cigars honor your feet and shoes treat, right? The old dogs that have carried to your whole life slip on. Pair of old school black socks and revel is people look at you admiringly and say if you couldn't taller I'm Greg Cody, and that's how it was back in my day. Well, done wasn't. Villi? Can you put up the poll there? He is. He's done for the show, which is. Thing and waving like a prom going the rest of the show up. Just put it on the poll is Bryce Harper going for three hundred million and one cent. Like he's going to he's going to get a little more than Manny Machado Phillies. Right. The reports where it was three ten right for the Phillies. I mean, Philly's got a seal that up, right? See obey. Because just because I mean enough rice Arbor you wanted over three hundred million dollars. We've offered you three ten the nationals off three hundred c obese on it with each passing hour workday could five million off the deal about that. How old is Michelle is he twenty twenty six how old is he because this is not the pools contract. They gave ten years to pools, and it was two hundred million then two hundred twenty twenty six so Machado was twenty six years old. This is a slight market correction in that for a while there. The baseball was giving those giant contracts to Kevin Brown's two guys who are in their thirties that doesn't seem like it's going to happen much anymore where you're giving one of these guys like pools is still lumbering around as their phase angels. Yeah. It's pretty amazing that the Padres landed free agent light this, right? It's usually the Yankees the cubs. The dodgers the Red Sox who are spending. They were to be in play for both Machado and Harper. They clearly have they have some money over there. But they've got don't they have similar ballpark issues over there in San Diego where they're fighting over the ballpark. I like this thing that's going on with baseball is interesting the way that it is. That under Manfred tutelage. It's basically the thread holding everything together is well baseball's pretty random, and you might be able to win something with your minor. Leaguers the way Houston did the way Chicago did the way Atlanta got better. And so we're we continually count on baseball being random. And you've got half the teams in the league not trying to win like how many how Billy what is the number? What is the number of teams that would come out and say what we're trying to win? We're trying to win with prospects. But they're not actually trying to win is it is it more than a third of the league that isn't making any effort whatsoever to actually win baseball games. I mean, that's a problem. Another problem that you have with sole contract situation is the fact that like Adam Wainwright came out and said that baseball might strike and baseball striking over. This would be terrible. Because I don't know how how do you survive that like also would anyone even notice if baseball was missing for half a season because who would notice baseball fans would notice, but it's become a bit of a niche sport in that regard as opposed to just everyone in sports loving sports is available. Baseball has become something that is catered to only baseball fans and not young ones. You can make the argument that some teams can't afford to try to win though. Hey, like, there's so many small markets that just can't afford to give out these big what Manfred we'll hold up and he did again over the weekend is here. Three teams who didn't spend a lot of money. The raise being one of them. And a couple of other teams where they had very good seasons. And they didn't spend a ton of money. I know wouldn't that? We're just Marlins counting on baseball. That's not a business plan that actually uses the other one what I should say is it is only a business plan. That's not a baseball plan to hope that the young people become a good because you can't afford to spend because your business is broken. And all you care about is making profit that the priority is profit. And the pro that's not the case in football, man. It's not they've got everything under control in terms of their salary where yes, they all tend to profit. But there aren't teams out there that you're looking at and saying outside of the Bengals they're not trying that teams not trying. How often do you think that every Sunday watching the jets donlevatar, Greg Cody of the Miami Herald has announced that we are the biggest and best radio show in America on? Tuesday's. Stugatz. You're welcome. These libertas show with stugatz on ESPN radio. If you missed any of our interviews, go check out the entire interview on demand, and he Dan Lovett to our podcast brought to you by capital on capitol. One is reimagining banking. Offering unless you. Bless you. I mean, I don't know. It was just I I lost ended. I says please he's just recoiled from the my phone because he's mortified and how terrible he is. I want to send him out to walk out to the ocean. Again. I'm not even kidding. You. Can you just play that sound back at your earliest, John? I think it's one of his worst ever the again, I feel like he was punched in the stomach while stugotz was reading. If you missed any of our interviews, go check out the tire interview on demand, and he Dan let it podcast brought to you by Capital One capital on his reimagining banking, offering accounts with no fees or minimum that can be opened five minutes. Capital? One. What's in your wallet coming up? This Sunday is new television show featuring Dan, Lebowitz art, call the art of conversation. Damn we'll be spending a day in the life of influential people in sports entertainment on the world. Dan will be spending time with Miami Heat team president Pat Riley and the first episode of the art of conversation Sunday five thirty PM eastern on ESPN. Our thanks to a mean has for hanging around the show today. Giving us the straight talk. Brought to you by straight talk wireless. Best phones, best networks, no contract. We'll put it on the poll. Please is Kirk cousins. The first place. You go when you want to hear about cool places to go. Here is Kirk cousins saying the most controversial thing he has said since he hissed you'll like that after a comeback victory. He has tweeted in two thousand and ten I was mad at LeBron James for leaving Cleveland, but I've been in Miami for a total of five minutes. And now, I totally understand. See what happens is you start to wonder and get mad at the for going back to Cleveland after spending four years down here. You're mad that he left leave on came here. Then you come here and realize, wow, this is a really nice place. Why do you ever go back? That's not what Kirk cousins said. Yeah. But I guarantee you he's thinking he said the opposite. I understand that. Now, he's thinking it was off. How do you ever go back to that place where he came from? Greg knows what I'm saying. Very cryptic. What he said. Yeah. Doesn't very cryptic. What do you mean? It's crypt next month. Hidden meaning one what is the hidden? Meaning he says in two thousand and ten I was mad at LeBron James for leaving Cleveland, but I've been in Miami for a total of five minutes. And now, I totally understand. What's cryptic about that have asked that Kurt Kurt cousins? Yeah. You do or just be able to read it, you know? I mean, can you help me here? Trouble with that phrase half to ask I apologize. It's tough. Yeah. Anyway, what he's doing their dance? You say he's wondering aloud what he's really doing. There is how do you ever go back to Cleveland of just I'm telling you need to bring in a mean. I'm just telling you what Chris I don't know how you're not totally ashamed of your father at every turn and worried about him and mortified I just need to know where you're going to be okay. Like, do you have plans to go? See a doctor you following up. Like, what is going to happen here in more doctors lately that you never know?

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3: Truth Dump

Dark Air with Terry Carnation

39:08 min | 3 weeks ago

3: Truth Dump

"Dark air with terry carnation episode three tooth dump finally audio books in stock air with terry carnation written by terry carnation narrated. Yes by derek nation. Chapter three birthday clown named despair. We've all been there. You hosted your own. Am radio show. Quit to to a nervous breakdown to the airwaves and took a call on the air. That sounded exactly like the voice of your dead wife. I can think of at least four deejays went through that exact same scenario including the late great. Casey kasem in fairness wasn't the voice of a dead wife. He heard rather the bark of dead dog. He had dedicated a song to regardless. I never thought a spectral. Visitation would happen to me on the air until it did and i tried to find a recording of what seemed to be my wife. Zilan calling from beyond the grave. The only person who had captured that call was my greatest rival. Right wing conspiracy talk show host and domestic abuse enthusiast west pop of its entering the lion's den of popovich's studio could end my life or save my wife coming in at number four on the countdown. It's juice newton with morning angel. Got i miss. Casey kasem don't you well. I'm sorry i had to reschedule our session. Paul had a presentation at school. Humane this very very sweet. Volcano with vinegar and baking soda is just wonderful. I say his paul your husband. No paul is my eight year old son. I've mentioned him in my wife. Elaine many times frankly. I think it's inappropriate that a therapist talks his home life so much. You're right terry. Hi never should've attempted to relate to you as a fellow human being. Thank you for acknowledging that. I'm sorry to be so testy. The truth is i'm feeling anxious about work. I'm not surprised i mean. Your job is unusually stressful. And that's why is expressed concern about it. We congeniality june ability. My god that was so immature and insulting me. I am truly sorry apology. Accept apologies did good. Lord i i keep cutting to the quick with a with a razor like wit in an insightful. Mockery dr kevin. I don't wanna be like this. You know there's only one man could bring on my dark side so profoundly my nemesis mike deepest fear my frenemy. Without the fra wes. Pop of it's at this point or asking yourself who is west pop of its have. Never even heard that name he must be someone utterly unknown and obscure. You're correct hosts truth dump conspiracy mongering show that averages three million views per episode on youtube. Although i believe that's more likely three children with some sort of obsessive disorder who watch episode a million times and years ago pup of its was my intern before i was forced to fire him. Live undock air way back in two thousand and four wise to your lies carnation mind control apparition iconex west. I am broadcasting right now beside onto your cat silence me. You are a c. a. drained. Telepathic who has bob burden me with the impulse to kiss orlando bloom's nipples orlando who i don't even know who she is. Look you're having a psychotic episode and you are fired security. I've to reach into your mouth and pull out the trolls. You h difficult for me to revisit that terrible day. I was orally assaulted by my former intern. I can still taste the faint. Trace of cheap smoked salmon on his fingers today however the far more trustworthy jeet is my right hand man and fingers of that right hand. Well the far less fishy. So i met geeta k sp to strategize my appearance on popovich's idiot embarrassment of a show. Perhaps he could smuggle in this pepper spray. Canister rather large wouldn't even notice it. Not if you smuggled it down your pants he would just assume it was a bulge in the back of your trousers. Why would i put it. Forget the pepper spray. However if i brought a jar of say jalapeno peppers that i claim to be eating as a snack i could hurl. The juices is asian. You are the balls right now buddy. Kaspysk twitter is going nuts about you being a guest on truth dumb act. This is like. I don't know a- batman versus superman crazy ass white dude's more like a bon vivant raconteur attempting to argue with a masturbating hedgehog who battled sonic in the epic eight bit console winter olympics. This is what that sounded like to me. Palm consignment can limp limit. Finger just a string of words. Yo listen to this promo. We've been running all day. I have it on phone. Okay the hold up here. It is today terry. Carnation appears on truth dumb. Tonight terry gives us his exclusive behind the scenes. Recap on dark air. If terry survives line will be murdered by his arch enemy or just choked out with his pants pissing. Humiliation livestream to millions. Find out tonight on ks. Be kinda spectacular broadcasting. I have to admit that is an excellent promo. Yeah no it was really good. And so g tonight. Left the safety of our radio station and set off for the lion's den which is a small bar on wilshire boulevard ride drank a single coors light to calm my nerves. Then we set off for the truth dump studio as we approached the menacing-looking warehouse on top of its disreputable. Stretch of downtown la. I performed deep breathing exercises to control my fear and caygill exercises to contain my coors light. I pushed open a door labeled pop of its productions literally entered the gates of hell not literally. Oh hey you're terrier right. I'm wessels assistant cala. Can i get you guys something to drink coconut water. We've got caboose on tap. You don't have of course light as oppose no not surprised. This is my employees and military trained bodyguard. Cheat wait dairy. I am i mean yes. I am former navy jeet. Claude van damme o. N. e. relation. No g deniers. Simply friends could you please point me to the restroom quickly share. It's through that door next to the meditation center. I'll try not to confuse the two so nice. I mean you're studios not you although you are so nice so pretty okay again. I am talking about the studios. The studios are nice. And pretty and you are. You are just nice. You're definitely not pretty. You're just nice. And i'm definitely not hitting on you. Shut up shut up okay. No no i mean. I'm saying that to myself i'm not telling you to shut up. I think i should shut up. It's okay i could tell l. Look what i found. Standard at the pacers deep state. Son of a bitch was telling you about jerry. Carnation terry moran. Thanks for the show. Well i'm doing. Okay all right thanks wes. Please don't tuck my sweater. Vest took same. Tc cheers thanks for doing this. Show we get in there. Okay just have fun with it. You know don't hold back man you look me in the eyes and you think you see the devil you'd say's oh man say oh. I think i'm seeing the devil. I mean a terry. I mean i some that makes you suspect i could be a plant of the department of defense deliberately spreading disinformation as a false flag agent. They didn't operate norwood's you call me on that shit man. Yes consider your shit called like bring bring hello yes west shits. Hi it's terry nation. And i'm glad you did that. I'm glad the bit didn't work with the fallen stuff. It didn't work. That's why man while. I'm surprised you're back. And god bless what a miracle skin of his teeth. Get in there. When it happens you call me. I'm yes i will. Let's let's get in that studio and do some shit calling. Let's let's get the call me on our kill you dead. I love you like a brother. I love you. I love you. You're fucking socialist. Get in there. Let's get this over with. We'll be right back after this word from our sponsor support for dark air is brought to you by manscaping. The best in men's below the waist grooming manscaping offers precision engineered tools for your family jewels. And we have an exclusive offer for my listeners. Twenty percent off plus free shipping with the code dark at manscaping dot com slash dark. You know when. I was institutionalized one of the things they taught us drilled into our heads self care and i realized i had never done a quit of personal grooming so it was time for me to trim the gigantic carnation hedge that i keep in my pants. How did i do that. I used manscaping. They hooked me up with a bunch of tools and formulations from their perfect package three point. Oh kit in fact are frequent caller five ball berry swears by man's gaped wonder if they make a five point. Oh kit furled berry. This also includes the crop preserver. An anti chafing ball children and moisturizer. Put your on your armpits. Why are you not putting deodorant on your testicular race. So get twenty percents off plus free shipping with a co dark at manscaping dot com. Your balls will thank you. Twenty percent off free shipping with dark manscaping dot com. Unlock your confidence and always use the right tools for the job with manscaping back to regularly scheduled programing. I tried to keep cool popovich's presence. But i'll confess the level of terror was so great that if i had not just emptying my bladder it might have occurred in voluntarily as i entered a studio and the show began mary. A fifty one is and guarded area. Fifty two that's worthy really fucked up shit hideous. What i'm thinking that the so called school shooters are actors actually from the disney channel whereas proper bits of always loved your show. You know that you've always supported me of always been there backing me up backing up the american people this is truth dump with west. Popovich your only source of truth. Okay okay now. We all know you looking forward to this. This is this. Is israel as gas motherfuckers dishes. Real the man who started my career before he started his own. Terry carnation well. That's kind of you say. Wes kind of kind of okay. Now you know what now now you stay quiet dairy because you're trying to hypnotize with your voice. This is already exhausting exactly exhaust taking the exhaust of your breath when you open your mouth infecting my lungs with whatever pathogen. You were provided by the federal government. Tosa date way. Yeah you found mount west. So i'd appreciate that recording of my show that you promised me terry carnation. You're at my house right now. You gotta stay all night. You got to taste something that you've never tasted before the truth who we got on the line caller. You're live on the double mr west. My name is tina. Thank you for having me on. God bless you now. I'm really happy to be on. Because i think you're i mean you are a real man. God bless you. God bless you tina. God bless us everyone. Well not everyone. Everyone terry thank you. Tina we agree to agree off are so my husband. He works security for one of them. big pharma company big pharma. They're sneaking version. Can we slough. What are you talking about. Big pharma sneaking into everything. Big pharma look it up. Big pharma is speaking to astronaut. Jerry could you look at you terry. Look at the little. The i've got god. Blessed we've all got teats were all mammals. Tina do you have of course. I have a pair of teach your your your red blooded american woman and speaking of tate's my husband like i said he's working from big pharma companies and i was really concerned about it but everything was fine. You know we've been married yet for like two years now but like about a month ago he starts asking me to Make him salads for lunch. Yep yep i love it. I love a nice salad. I'm not sure 'cause my man he's a man and he usually eats like man's family gina. First of all. Let's say past. Your man is no longer a man. Big got him. He's so loaded on. Estrogen what you have right. Now is what i call a man. Being which is a lesbian that has been created a lesbian that has been created by the estrogen in the salads. They're gonna get your solids. What do i do. How do i get my man back. The first thing that you're going to do is you're gonna need to get some regular old testosterone inland however is g