28 Burst results for "Terri"
Capstone Conversation
Jared Asch Welcomes Walnut Creek's Teri Killgore to Capstone Conversation
"To this episode of The Capstone Conversation. I am your host, Jared Ash. Today, we are joined by Terri Kilgore from the city of Walnut Creek, where she serves as the assistant city manager in overseas economic development. One of the themes of this podcast is to talk about where are our communities going, but it's also important to look at economic development and how cities are continuing to improve post COVID in the new era with increased online shopping. And Walnut Creek has dove into a number of economic development studies and has a plan for the future of its city to grow. So we're going to introduce Terri here to tell us a little bit more about herself. Welcome. Thanks, Jared. It's nice to be here. So I've been with the city of Walnut Creek five years now, and it's been a wild five years with COVID thrown in the middle, as everyone has experienced. It's been a pleasure to serve both as the assistant city manager and economic development director. And while we had to pivot really quickly to help keep our businesses open during the pandemic and that involved outdoor dining and streamlining permitting for HVAC systems and other things people needed to do to survive, it's exciting that we're now back to working on real economic development work is what I would call it, where we're building a strategy and an approach. And we took the intentional path of picking an action plan with a two year horizon. As you mentioned, we did several studies to help inform us on this journey. As you can imagine, most of the data sets that we traditionally rely on, like the census and the American Community Survey, are just really dated and don't reflect the world post -COVID. So we went out to our brokerage community, got some quick updates on the state of the market and different subsectors. And so we think we've built a plan that is going to set our community up for long term success. And the future is bright for Walnut Creek. We obviously have challenges, as does every community. But we're starting from a really strong base. And so we're excited to really dig in and get working on these elements that will really move the ball forward. Awesome. So let's dive in to it. I like the fact that you're talking strategy, short term, long term. A lot of cities are going after just a big fish, right? They looking are to get a company that's going to have five or ten thousand high paying jobs in there. Walnut Creek is having multiple elements into their plans. So let's talk through what did you learn in the study first and then we'll go through elements of the plan. Yeah, the studies kind of reconfirmed a lot of what we already knew about our economy, which is that we are very driven by small to medium companies. We've got some notable headquarters located here as well. But that our bread and butter is really folks who live in the community and work in the community and grow their businesses here. And so there there is one strategy and economic development, like you said, where you go elephant searching and hope to get the one big thing. But that's a really risky strategy. It often takes a very long time to pay off. And so you've got to find a very specific niche where you can market what you have available that meets exactly with these unique needs of these mega companies. And so we looked at it and said that that's one approach. But we already have a nice mix of companies in our economic ecosystem. And I think the growing wisdom over the years in economic development is it's better to do economic gardening, is what they call it, where you help your local companies grow, you try to attract similar industries based on industries that are already present. And so for us, our big market drivers are medical, finance, insurance, real estate, a little bit of tech software, more so. And then a lot of small businesses that thrive in the retail and in the restaurant sectors. And so how do we really help those businesses that are here grow? And that includes reaching out to them and figuring out who do they know, who else might be looking for space, who are their vendors that they wish were close by so that we can continue to build on the existing strength of our market instead of kind of placing a bet on red and hoping everything just lands perfectly.
Dr. Jockers Functional Nutrition
A highlight from Advanced Nutrition for Neuroinflammatory Conditions
"Are you concerned about the health of your brain? Do you want to get rid of brain fog and have superior clarity and focus? Well, I have a solution for you, and no, it's not caffeine or some sort of pill or powder. Rather, it's delicious chocolate fudge. I know that sounds crazy, but this isn't your average fudge. It's actually rich chocolatey fudge that is jam -packed with five of the most beneficial mushroom species in existence when it comes to keeping a sharp and healthy brain. In fact, all of the mushrooms contain high amounts of essential nutrients along with unique bioactive compounds that can promote the health of your brain while also supporting your heart and immune system. Rest assured, you cannot taste the mushrooms within this fudge whatsoever. Just a delicious, gooey, chocolatey taste without sugar or artificial sweeteners. I'm introducing you to my favorite brain health treat. It's called Mushroom Mind Boost from my friends over at Pureality Health. Now Pureality Health utilizes something called MiCell Liposomal Technology, which delivers the nutrients of these brain -boosting mushrooms into your bloodstream, proven to be up to 800 % more efficient. So if you want to say goodbye to forgetfulness and instead keep a sharp and healthy mind, give Pureality Health's Mushroom Mind Boost a try. It's backed by a 180 -day money -back guarantee. That's six full months, and today I have a 30 % off coupon for you. Just visit PurealityHealth .com and use the coupon DRJ to access 30 % off your purchase today. In today's podcast, I am being interviewed by Dr. Terri Walls. She is the bestselling author of the Walls Protocol. Her story is that she actually had progressive multiple sclerosis and was able to reverse using that naturally nutrition and lifestyle changes and following an autoimmune paleoprotocol. She talks all about it in her great book. She recently had a summit all about neuroimmune disease, and she interviewed me for it. We talked about advanced nutrition strategies. We talked a lot about mitochondrial health, intermittent fasting, and how intermittent fasting, we talked a little bit about the research on how it shuts down the inflammatory pathways and autoimmunity and how it helps to support the gut and the gut microbiome.
One Life Radio Podcast
"terri" Discussed on One Life Radio Podcast
"Listening to one life. Radio right everyone. I'm my gosh. i love that song. It wasn't jesus is just alright. Let i love that dude. There's some great songs from back in that time forgot about the guitar..
One Life Radio Podcast
"terri" Discussed on One Life Radio Podcast
"I'm just talking about from a mental health standpoint. I don't think you should be on tinder swiping every day or some of these people that two or three times a day to me. that's a sexual addiction. it's not about how modernized you're thinking is right if someone is manic meeting with strangers two or three times a day to have sex. You're definitely affects addict. Yeah well even even a couple of times even a couple of times. A week with a stranger. Is that a healthy sexual boundary or thought you know again again. It depends on you know. I can't say healthier unhealthy compulsion. It is not healthy. Yeah were making that decision from a mindful choice. And you like sexist sport and that is that few good to you. That's your right. That's your choice it's all about. Is it compulsive. Can you stop doing it. And the answer is no then. That isn't addiction. Yeah well sexist. That's what i was thinking. That was the term that used sexy said sex as a sport. Is that what you said. Yep yeah yeah yeah. Gotcha oh my gosh okay. So what do healthy would what do really sell a healthy sexual boundaries. Look like and what are some reasons for some for unhealthy sexual boundaries. Okay well healthy. Sexual boundaries asking for consent Discussing how you feel what you like. What you don't like requesting someone have protected sex with you and not having unprotected sex if that is against what you want to do discussing contraception. right thing. noted things that hurt you saying not things that you don't like Yeah sexual those are some healthy sexual boundaries. And what what could it sound like right like what. What are we stay. If you're wondering is comfortable for you right yeah and you tell me what what you prefer you like. Can you tell me what you don't like or can you say to someone. Hey that doesn't feel good. I don't like that those are having healthy boundaries I'm really not into the person is into something that is outside of your realm. You know more. I'm i am really into this thing role playing. Let's say right. Would you be into that right. It's inviting someone in but it's it's not making any assumptions about what the other person is too. But it's also the most basic healthiest sexual boundary. I think is being able to say. No yeah if you are not there if you feel like it's gone too fast and if you don't want to do it but 'cause i can tell you from being a therapist i would have clients feel like well you know. We went out to dinner and they paid for dinner. And i'm like she felt like you had to have sex. Not we didn't have sex. But i did kind of feel like i should do something for like. Are you kidding me. Yeah no no company. Yeah you feel that way if someone buys you dinner then go dutch. Like don't miss dutch. I've never let a man by my dinner. I mean my husband when we were married because we were my first husband and my second husband when we were married and we're making money collectively that's different But yeah like date. Never i just. I just don't starting with my first date and mcdonald's with my first boyfriend who wanted i said no i'm gonna i'm gonna buy my own fish fillet and and he's like now but i was very good at setting boundaries. You know kind of funny..
One Life Radio Podcast
"terri" Discussed on One Life Radio Podcast
"And i think this is where i was going to go. Next is the do we. How do we former sexual boundaries. For instance can religion pay play apart informing this type of boundary. And i think for me. I went to catholic school my whole life and so of course. I'm going to have those Sexual boundaries just based on how. I was educated right but again a lot of them. Yes to your answer about religion which is just like yes to the motto behavior. That you saw the home that you grew up in Yes to what your parental compactors expected of you. Yeah so if you grew up in a home where it was not. I grew up in a homework. Not having sex was ex- that that was good. Don't have sex. Yeah they'll prefer muscular. You know wait until you love someone all of that messaging Came through so loud and clear but then when you don't you have to look and go. Okay well. I learned that when i was in sixth grade How do i want to relate to my own sexuality what kind of sexual boundaries do i want now in my life and my going along or my boundaries to poorest meaning to to loose within my relationship am i having sex when i don't want to because i'm afraid to say no so these are all the things that we have to think about and how you know it's too if they're too rigid or too poorest is always about how you feel. Are you satisfied. Do you feel seen heard known sexually if the answer is no. Is it. if there's a box that you check in life then you gotta look at your sexual boundaries than what you are aren't sharing. Yeah i you know. I think you know and i have so many thoughts going through my head right now. It's hard to articulate them shortly and quickly. But you know when you're talking about you know your sexual. I forget what the word you use. You called it for people sleep around a lot nowadays that you that you know i just i think you know. Sex. 'cause i follow kind of the buddhist religion mostly I'm not really. I'm very spiritual but i'm not like really. I don't follow an organized. Religion and but part of the spirituality of buddhism is understanding that you know that sex is something that's very spiritual as well and very. What do i wanna say here that you. It's kind of like anything. It can become an addiction right like alcohol or anything. If you're if you're out there and sex be gets more sex. We know that if you've ever been in any kind of long-term relationship you know when you have a great night a sexual like oh man. That was great. I wanna have some more tomorrow. You know and it just gets it right and so but i think that but it can become problematic as well. If you don't keep it in check. I don't think you should be getting on tinder. And i'm not saying from a judgmental standpoint..
One Life Radio Podcast
"terri" Discussed on One Life Radio Podcast
"In the mix and terry coal we are live from dallas texas and iheart media as well as km et in southern california on abc news talk. We're talking about terry. Coles new book a boundary boss the essential guide to talk through seeing and finally live. Free terry a licensed psychotherapist and global relationship and empowerment expert. Okay the five types of boundaries types. One and two physical and sexual. We already talked about physical. Now let's talk about sexual boundaries. What are some examples of sexual boundary violations. Terry somebody really touching you in a sexual way right without your expressed permission. Yeah right so think about your sex your sexual boundaries. Right you alone get to decide what kind of sexual touches okay. With whom how often when the your intimate exchanges need to be so determined so someone coercing you pressuring you or forcing you to be sexual with them or behaving in any way. That makes you uncomfortable commenting on your body. And they're like you should be. You should be flattered even though it makes you feel gross. And it's not flattering to you that that is the sexual boundary violation. Someone grab you massaging your shoulders making the heat on them if you don't want it if it's unwelcome if it makes you feel uncomfortable violation. Yeah i didn't have thought about it as being verbal but yeah the cat calls like hey baby at such a. it's such a violation. It's like i'm not your baby. I remember once when. I used to bartend when i lived in upstate. New york terry. He'll he'll he'll think this is so funny. This guy used to come in and sit at the bar and call me beaver. He'd say hey beaver. Give me a beer and i. I said i'm not for animal that lives in the woods. Don't talk to me like that and this was like in my twenties But i mean people just think they a lot of it is man. I i think they're more violators than than women. When it comes to verbal right Sexual boundaries traditionally tradition yummy and with strangers. I would say definitely. Yeah so crazy. How some people think it's acceptable to talk that to one another. But so how do we measure our sexual boundary baseline part of it..
One Life Radio Podcast
"terri" Discussed on One Life Radio Podcast
"I answered yes. What about you junior though. You answered noone okay. what about that. One <hes> terry. it's very codependent. To a degree in very female to a degree not not always a not only. But i'm just saying if we were saying gender normative stuff king in the traditional way. We don't want anyone to paint that person's paying is making uncomfortable and so we want to help them solve their problem. Really so our pain can stop and that co-dependency even there you gotta be based in love you know. Yeah no mine is always based in love. I'm kind of fixer I'm just kind of a thing. I i don't like to see anything suffer in any. I don't like to see anyone suffer at like really like strikes me to my core. You know people though burn just want to say if people want to actually take the. I actually have an art type quiz. That is free for people to take. They can go and get their own results at boundary quiz dot com. Okay that's awesome. Yeah i think this is such a great subject. It really is so many people have to work on their boundaries. Don't they they do we. All nobody teaches are bernadette. So you're doing a service to the world. Yeah and it's been great having you on the air it really has and i think that you know that your book is fabulous by the way it really is so much good information and just not even just information just advice like opening your eyes and opening your mind to what's possible number one and number two about how to fix it right how to really fix it and fix those boundaries and figure out what your baseline is exactly and have such a happier healthier life. Yeah yeah and figure out what's causing the pain right in both in you and the people that you're in relationships with yeah yeah all right. Well it's been great having you on the show today. It really has. And and thank you. So much terry cole. Everyone I encourage you to go check out her book. Boundary boss the essential guide to talk through scene and finally live frey. Her website is simply terry. Cole dot com. That's t. e. r. i c. o. L. dot com jerry. Thanks again we'll talk to you later. Have a great day. Thank you for having me back absolutely everyone. I hope you enjoyed the show. We always enjoy doing it. Remember you get one body you'll get one mind and you get one life you know what examine your boundaries examine them.
One Life Radio Podcast
"terri" Discussed on One Life Radio Podcast
"You're going to be like bowling them out in front of me Mine are only in really close relationships do that. I don't think i've ever really lost it in any other situation. It's usually my teenage daughters went. Well one's not a teenager anymore. One is but oh my gosh. Teenagers were really pressure. Buttons terry boundary bullied right. They take like personal information and then like use it against you to incite you. That's what feels like anyway. And yeah and then. I have exploded in frustration. Like don't you talk to me like that or you know. I don't know that's under your business and you know how dare you or whatever but i mean it can happen in a close relationship right. It's usually i would say the closer the relationship probably the more the The the What do i want to say. The camp find the word but more the more likely you are to explode in frustration. It depends on how your boundaries disordered honestly be the other way for some people. They're they're close. Relationships are the ones that they're most afraid right to speak up in and that they can like ball out someone barely know. It'd be frustrated very easily and travelling or whatever so it really depends because we know our own. Boundary blueprints are very unique to our life experiences. You know right well and you and you and you say Disordered boundaries and. I read it in your book. There's five types of boundaries the physical sexual emotional material and mental and so Yeah some of those can be very triggering right. Oh yes and. And i find that mo- especially for women particularly that i did a whole survey of this live of course that i was doing and ninety seven percent of the women that i asked Said that emotional boundaries. There's where they struggle the most having held the emotional boundaries not began other people's problems are paying along to get along. Yeah no i'm so guilty of that Myself i don't know about you a junior but i you know clearly i'm a woman you're a man but but yeah you know i. I do think that women are more susceptible to the emotional Disordered boundaries for sure and so So here's another question. If you feel betrayed do you cut people out of your life or avoid them rather than initiate a difficult conversation i answered yes but but it's rare that i do that. I mean it's only happened a couple of times in my life. And so and then i'm gonna go to junior. How did you answer yes or no. Do you feel betray you and so we both answered yes to that too this. I'm pretty like It's weird with me like one. It's almost like one time sometimes two times. If you do something. I i'll just cut you off and my wife is the opposite. You always tell me. Why don't you just talking about. I'm like i don't know. I find it easier to just not confront them. Yeah yeah or or one time. I had to sue them. Yeah it was my best friend for twenty five years. It's a long story but we went into a business agreement together and it did not end. Well ended up with me getting a federal aja federal judgment against her to get the money back And it was ugly painful twenty five years and so you know Yeah so You know. I really felt betrayed and so i did. Cut her out of my life but stuff like that is where you're talking about being just more mainstream you know difficult conversations that you can't have with people but you know the last question here before the music's going to start in about a minute. I think but terry terry if or family have an issue. Do you feel compelled to make suggestions or find solutions for them. Even if they have not asked for your help..
One Life Radio Podcast
"terri" Discussed on One Life Radio Podcast
"Is bernadette with junior in the mix and terry coll we are broadcasting live from dallas texas on iheartmedia as well as cami t in southern california on. Abc news talk. We are continuing our conversation with terry. Cole she is the author of boundary off the essential guide to talk to be seen and finally live free. We're talking about what is your boundary baseline and we're about to dive into the test. That's in her book. Boundary boss okay. So does attempting to draw boundaries by speaking up create feelings of anxiety or dread for you. Why is that question so important because if the answer is yes then you need this book this quiz then. You need to upgrade okay. I think that as we go through them and we can really kind of quickly go through them because people know the answer immediately. Do you know what i mean bernard my out like gee i don't know so we go through and then we'll get to the end. Yeah well i answered. I answered no to that one Junior wooded you junior took the test to junior. How did you answer yes or no. 'cause i answered. Yes oh okay well so that is really important too though. And that's a great place to start because you know you should be able to speak up for yourself. Always right in order to be healthy mentally and emotionally. Yes but most of find it very strict inducing especially if you were raised in a particular way where you're supposed to be a good kid you know. Be a good girl. Smile be happy. Don't be a troublemaker. Like all of these things that are in grain and our unconscious mind about speaking up being the same as being troublemaker. Or stirring the pot. Wow wow wow so. We have work to do here. A junior reactor that sounds like. Oh my gosh okay. So here's the here's another question when you are paying for a service. Do you avoid telling people that you're unsatisfied. Yes or no junior that one. I put no von hand ford. I'll let you know to put out to that. I work hard for my money..
One Life Radio Podcast
"terri" Discussed on One Life Radio Podcast
"Syndrome for sure. Wow wow wow castor oil for everyone. We were in a bar. It'd be buying shots a castro. Gosh so great to have you on the air. I miss your miss seeing you but Thanks so much..
One Life Radio Podcast
"terri" Discussed on One Life Radio Podcast
"You know like i get in there and got my face in the shower you know. Feel so good And yeah dislodge off off the ski. The good is off the dead skin though right. So does the castor oil help with that as well. No it's not really. It's not really a good exploit. Or so. I would say you would wanna you would want to pair it with an fulayter a couple of times a week. Or if you if you remove your cleanser with a wash cost and realize generally that has bullying properties so if you remove it with that that helps. Wow wow wow okay. What else do we need to do is see. I'm seeing here reduces stretch marks. That's a big deal for a lot of women and men because men get stretched to right if they gain weight and lose it. Yeah yep yep so. I'm guessing guessing junior. You have some sense your on your piping up there sometimes. It's possible. yeah no it is. I've seen it. You know. I mean we've got skin it make sense right. You're human being happens. I just happen to anybody. I mean even people. I've seen people that have any that have never even been heavy. I'm talking about like even ten or fifteen pound weight loss or gain get stretch marks. And so i think it's a it's a it's a it's a hereditary thing more than it is right than a weight thing. Yeah that's really a genetic thing you know you can really tell they say this. All the time and people told me this was growing up. You know look at your mom. Look at your mom. See what she looks like. And i'm finding that now. My mom didn't go gray until she was well into her late sixties. Haven't yeah and so you really like you look at your mom and you see what their skin like and what their hair looks like and you can. It really plays a huge part. And so yes that that didn't elasticity very genetic. Oh yeah yeah. It is What else do we need to know about. Castor oil Stephanie before we go to break here in a minute i mean again i just really liked. This is a product that you know when you're looking for something that has multi purposes and you're trying to You know choose something that you can add to your stash that you know could be. You could use multiple things. Use as a cleanser you can use it as a as a laxative. You can use it as an anti inflammatory. You can use it to promote great sleep. It's just a great great great product for you to have in your medicine cabinet or in your closet because it's something that you can reach four for multiple uses and. Yeah i think that in this day and age is a great is a really great thing to have on hand. I mean really and you know you said that it's a you people use it and have for centuries to detox and all i'm guessing now is does it make you lose weight too then it would be like the perfect product right it. Does everything detox of your thyroid. But that's definitely going to help you with any metabolic.
One Life Radio Podcast
"terri" Discussed on One Life Radio Podcast
"A consumer advocate professional particularly particularly focus on safety and food and personal care products. We're talking about the many uses of castor oil. Okay so stephanie. Right before the break you were talking about the packs that people use to detox certain parts of their body. How does that work. And how effective is it. Yeah it's really effective so that They call it like The kasriel detox pack. And you can make them or you can buy them. But essentially you so like Like a flannel or like a soft fabric in castor oil. And then you place it over like here doing a liver detox. You would place it over the liver on the outside of the body thyroid. You would do it on your neck and you would place like a heat pad over the talk. So just a gentle heat source and That draws out toxins and so a lot of people do that. You know A couple of times week over deliver oregon over the thyroid depending on you know what they might be struggling with. And that is a really nice and gentle cox that people would use castrol. Wow and people have been. You have been doing this for centuries right. that's what's so crazy but you don't really hear anybody talking about it. Yeah i mean. I really think that casserole i mean i think i think you know you asked this question early on. I really think like the castro. Oil had gotten that kind of bad name and use of like a like the punishment or really as a laxative. Or some kind of like. Take your medicine kind of thing But it really intern. Beauty beauty detox is just a really. It's a really great substance to use for a number of a number of things well and it's revenue in a lot of beauty products isn't yes yes. Yes but you know it boost the immune system. You know we talk a lot about you. Know everybody's talking a lot about their immune system right now how they can naturally do that. And taking caps royal so you know. We talked earlier about three. Tablespoons is what you're gonna use for like laxative properties. But if you take a t. Sooner than that is going to That's gonna bump up your blood flow. It's going to encourage creation of lymphocyte white blood cells that bacteria and it enhances the hell a finest plan which produces peace sells for the immune system. So you can use it to um which is awesome these days. Everybody's looking for natural ways to do that. A. so crazy and i'm reading here. Castor oil can improve sleep too. Yes yes and what. I love to use it for With sleep is using it as part of like a foot massage. if you use it Is a very thick oil so numerous benefits. If you use it as part of massage which will.
One Life Radio Podcast
"terri" Discussed on One Life Radio Podcast
"That being and it's it creates a very thick oil so it's a very viscous fluid that's why it's different than a lot of other types of oils is just very thick Very thick and viscous oil and so. Yeah that's Comes from a bean which is interesting what you know. I have to tell you yesterday. We were joking. Marie and i were talking about the segment coming up and and then we were talking. How anti-aging it's good for wrinkles and my hands are just a mess from years of working in the restaurant business and then the spa business and all the animals in my hands are constantly in water anyway so i put castor oil on my hands yesterday. I swear to you. Like i can see a remarkable difference in just one day. Isn't that crazy. And we're not pushing particular product here. I just can't believe right. I mean it's crazy. How effective it is how it works. Well really well yeah. It's a super effective. Like i said it's such a thick oil and there are so there is. I mean some people are allergic to so i'd recommend that you do you like a patch test before you try it Before you would just put it like all over like a large bar body part like that but if you can tolerate it is just an. It's an it's amazingly moisturizing. It's an awesome awesome. It's an awesome oil. What are some of the side effects that a person can experience for maybe over using it. Because you know. Maybe less is more in this case when using castro castro oil. Use it sparingly right. Well the ones on what you're using it for so like for example..
One Life Radio Podcast
"terri" Discussed on One Life Radio Podcast
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AP News Radio
House passes bill bolstering landmark voting law
"House Democrats passed a bill that calls for the restoration of a landmark voting rights law the house passes a John Lewis voting rights advancement act to restore sections of the landmark voting right law from the nineteen sixties that were overturned by the Supreme Court in recent rulings sponsor Alabama congresswoman Terri Sewell what historic moment not just for us in the capital but really for the people it is about restoring the voices of the excluded the measure faces a bleak future in the evenly split Senate the fifty Democrats need to get ten Republicans to back the bill in order to override an expected Republican filibuster to McGuire Washington
AP News Radio
Democrats Unveil Plan To Update Landmark Voting Law
"Hi Mike Rossi you're reporting Democrats unveiled a plan to update the landmark voting rights act representative Terri Sewell of Alabama introduced a bill Tuesday that would update the landmark voting rights act amid a flurry of new laws in Republican led states tightening rules around voting the bill known as H. R. fork is named after congressman John Lewis of Georgia of the civil rights leader who died last year house speaker Nancy Pelosi says Democrats plan to pass the bill when the house returns next week a companion bill brought by Democrats in the Senate known as the for the people act has stalled in twenty thirteen the Supreme Court set aside to keep provision of the voting rights act and the High Court further weaken the law in a ruling this summer Mike Rossio Washington
One Life Radio Podcast
"terri" Discussed on One Life Radio Podcast
"Everyone welcome back to one life. Radio this is out with junior in the mix and terry coal. We are broadcasting live from dallas texas on iheartmedia as well as in southern california. Terry cole is a licensed psychotherapist. Global relationship and empowerment expert and the author of boundary boss the essential guide to talk to be seen and finally live free terry inspires over two hundred fifty thousand people weekly through her blog. Social media platform signature courses and are popular podcasts. That terry cole show show. You can find her at her website. Terry cole dot com. That's t. e. r. i c. o. L. e. dot com. And we're talking with terry about how to become our be a boundary boss so terry claim that most of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences desires or dealbreakers. Can you elaborate on this a little bit. Nope i think the line drought back. Hang on all right collar back all right well. This book is really good. You guys and and i do feel that you know women really deal with this more than men at absolutely they do And it's it's about personal guidelines like she said and so i was saying during the broadcast earlier that Are you a high functioning codependent. Here's some of the questions that that i you know made me think. Wow maybe this is me so the first one and junior let me know when you get her back on the line but oh she's back. Ok hairy how you doing heather. Yeah that's okay it happens. It's live radio. That's what makes it so great though it's exciting so you know what. I asked before before the call dropped. Is you know you claimed most of us were never taught how effectively express our preferences desires. Ordeal dealbreakers can you. Can you say more about this. Let's talk about this. Sure if pe- if we're taught to be good girl and we're definitely not taught to set limits and to tell the people that are dealbreaker star so we must learn that are so would and language. You wouldn't expect to know it right. You wouldn't expect to be fluent if nobody taught you my little. You've got to learn it yourself and you've gotta come from knowing yourself first being honest about how resentful you're stealing and what relationships what international getting met and then you slowly drilling start shifting your own boundary behavior to be in alignment with gig. 'cause really we're the only one to get that you know. Yeah yeah yeah for sure you know throughout the book you talk about the realization that you can that you always have choices as revolutionary for many of your clients. Can we talk about that sure. Because here's the thing. We boxed in psychologically because if your highest values to avoid conflict to have nobody ever be uncomfortable or mad at you for any reason then nothing else can be your highest value right. Well i think part of it is stepping back and like where am i. Biting my tongue. Where am i doing stuff. I don't wanna do simply to keep the peace. Aided this thirteen question quiz it's free. People take it at boundary quiz dot com. And it tells you you're so he might be a peacekeeper chameleon you might be a powerhouse and it's really understand the way that your own boundaries are showing up in their relationships and how you're showing up on them because that's what we need to be able to make those changes What does it mean to have healthy boundaries. And and how does that relate to embracing your true self having boundaries really means i mean the subtitle of the book has talking true in it. It means that you are the sign of what happens in your own life instead of being a bit player in your mind if you're not just disturb the show but the writer director and so it's rather than going along to get along. You are making decisions that are based on how you actually feel remembering that we can do this with kindness with grace with you know with love when appropriate with a little bit of heat when heated doesn't we're being mean by saying not things that we don't want to do because what we're really doing that if we get down to the we continue to do things we don't wanna do not only in a bitter martyr because you but the people imber life don't actually know you're giving them corrupted data about who you are. Yeah no i said earlier. So i'll be very candid here so my ex husband. My first ex husband asked me if i would pick he and my daughter up at the airport on thursday and i said yes even though. There's a lot of other things. I need to be doing but i just. I felt compelled to say yes you know. And so what's wrong with me terry. You from an earlier time. I believe we married. You felt compelled to say yes and it's really hard to change. Yeah nothing wrong with you. You're just trying not to make something being giver stressful. Because you a kid and you want it to be nice. Yeah or little bit afraid of rocking the boat. Yeah yeah and. I just want to be nice. You know i. I don't know why yes. And that's a good thing but like you said you need to have boundaries right right. And here's the thing is nice. Did something that you're sort of doing child. But here's the thing if you do it and later you're going to be like alan asked me. He's got some nerve. You might wanna rethink that. Yes you know what i mean. Yeah no he was just cheap. He wants to save on the uber. That's the real reason. I know him really well. Gosh i could tell you an inside joke. Better not okay. So so what are. What are the most common myths or misconceptions about boundaries. Just that you have to be mean is probably the biggest one that always has to be some big and drama that you Will push all the people in your life away that real love needs boundaries. That's a huge myth because the only healthy low is boundaries..
Talking To Change - A Motivational Interviewing podcast
"terri" Discussed on Talking To Change - A Motivational Interviewing podcast
"Clinical practice is also scientific. You can use scientific method understand what is happening in what helps people make better and he was primarily interested in the very things that we're talking about in this book of. What is it that therapist does. That makes a difference. What is it that a behavior therapist does that makes them a better behavior therapists. What is the second amick therapist. Does that gets better client outcomes. Rogers really didn't so much create a new school of psychotherapy although it gets cast that as ring scientific method into thinking about clinical practice now we have somehow in psychology recently reduced it to this silly debate of is a technique or his relationship is the technique. You're using or therapeutic relationship that matters and the problem with that is the word work. it's both. i mean no one would say it doesn't make any difference what you do in therapy. I mean if of course it matters what you do. And there's very strong evidence that it matters how you do what you do that. The way in which you deliver a behavioral therapy for example or the way in which he frankness as diabetes. Educator has a real outcome above and beyond the specific technique content of what. You're and this is where i feel like. There was a confluence of things that happened when motivational interviewing I was developed and where it was developed because mit began in the field of alcohol. Misuse and really cool thing about that. Is that alcohol. Use is an outcome variable. That is so tidy. It's so tiny especially if you compare it to. Things like depression and schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder in ptsd in other things that are super important. But we just your messier. We can't measure them as well but alcohol use disorder has tiny little outcome variable and along comes motivation. So here comes this great outcome variable the weekend exploit to get some really good crisp ideas about how people are actually doing after. We're finished with them and then here comes. Motivational interviewing in which the relationship is equally privileged to the technique and band. Here comes that that marriage of those two things right. I call it the world marriage. And i think that's what it was that made a real contribution in the area of psychotherapy process. Research was that you could actually look at relationship elements of an empirically supported treatment for a very clear outcome variable. You could really get some traction on what might be going on there. So i love the fact that I think motivation interviewing may that really simple contribution in this particular area and you're very clear vision in relation to your desire to discover what really worked for people and hiking we as helpers beat as helpful as we possibly can be what of curious about is the fact that we have heard from many of our gas and even bill referred owners. Just that idea that end. The journey through motivational people changed the music motivational. Vince seems to be the notes that explain the jin. Some curious given the fact that you both been around longer than most other people. Would you say that you have changed as individuals as a consequence of meeting and working with motivation. Definitely in my case as i said earlier just learning the reflective listening learning how to do that dramatically improved relationship for me and change to. I am as a person. I think it helps to be a more empathic person. And you're not an empathic person unless you're doing it so it's the inside outside again. Both of them growing together..
Enlightened Empaths
"terri" Discussed on Enlightened Empaths
"Pain for you. What you really want is to fix her quote unquote so that your pain can end house like holy crap. Yep that's pretty much exactly what's happening and it me. Understand how disordered my emotional boundaries or and how codependent. I was being with that sibling and so she helped me learn that. I could step back that. I could say i love you and i cannot talk to you about this abusive person in your life. I can't if and one you ever wanna leave for real. I'm still your person. I'm all in and nine months later. She called me. And said i wanna leave and my husband and i helped her and that was decades ago and she's been sober ever since and went back to school and you know there's a happy end into that but i really learned that my interference with what was going on. I thought it was out of love but my therapist also said you know terry. You're also like deluding the urgency. That she's feeling to fix her own problem. Because you're putting a band aid on these things by sending money or by letting her toxically dump on you. She needs that urgency to figure out her own staff right. So through your active love. You were actually prolonging her rock bottom moment. Yes yeah that's important. Do you think that we all have the same motivation for codependency or do you think different. No i don't think that we're all very unique and that something happened in childhood for most of us but you could have had a very normal quote unquote family situation. Let's say and still grow up to be a codependent because it's the way that we were socialized. Don't even have to have a totally disordered. Like you know what i mean. It didn't even have to be a catholic family system and you could still grow up to be that because that was being a good girl. Yeah i totally agree with that. I think it is foster culturally by the social groups were around. I remember years ago. I was at school breakfast meeting at this restaurant. And one of the moms got a text from her daughter in it said mom. I forgot my lunch. And so she shared it with the group of moms like op. She forgot her lunch. And we all stopped. We were doing and we were like. Oh well we can help you go to the grocery store and put something together and drop it off at the school or or you could just run by chick-fil-a. I'm sure that will allow it in this public. And she's like no. I'm not doing any of that. How is she going to learn to remember her lunch. If i come to her rescue and we all stopped and so many of the moms were looking at each other and in that invisible language you knew what they were.
Enlightened Empaths
"terri" Discussed on Enlightened Empaths
"Right be mindful. Where are you rocking the auto. Yes where it doesn't matter what people ask you. You are instantly agreeing to things before you even give yourself a chance you know. And what about auto accommodating. I mean have you guys experienced this at all. Where every situation that you're in you're literally scamming the room. You're seeing look. There's a problem there. I think someone needs help. Maybe i'll maybe. I'll move over so the two together. Maybe i should tell the lady that. I'll sit over here if they need the sink. Do you know what i mean. Yes and it's frustrating. Because i sometimes i feel like i'm the only one who notices that the person sitting alone the other individual looking at their feet a wringing their hands and i'm like why doesn't anyone else see this and then i feel obligated to go help that person right but here's the thing. Auto accommodating is a compulsion that stems from being an empath. If you see someone and you go. Oh i noticed their pain. I have the bandwidth today. Maybe i'll go talk to them because the bottom line is that person's pain is their side of the street. They didn't ask you. They didn't invite you to come and help them. But we feel like instead of just our side of the street. We have to keep clean. We feel like we have to clean the whole neighborhood. You know what i mean. Yeah true such a great way. With words and phrasing things so you talk about self abandoning codependence and high functioning codependence. Is there a difference. And if so can you explain that yes. I mean codependents self abandoning whether high functioning or not. The sheer nature of what codependency is means. We're self abandoning in some way. So i'll tell you my definition of codependency and of high functioning codependency. I came up with this new name. Basically because my clientele or highly competent women who didn't identify at all with the codependent label. They were like what are you nuts. If brought it up. they'd be like a hello. Everyone depends on me. I'm the person who ever comes with their problems. I'm the person who's making the money. Would you mean. I'm not dependent on squat. I'm like right. And the way you're interacting is still codependent so what it means is overly invested in the feeling states. The decisions the outcomes and the circumstances of the people in your life to the detriment of your own internal peace or your financial wellbeing physical wellbeing because listen as.
Nonprofit Everything
"terri" Discussed on Nonprofit Everything
"They sponsor these incredibly large events as well so it's a complicated fixture. So i i love the fact that you all are talking about it. I love the fact that you pointed to train a board but also trained out staff members to understand about our events and do they make sense for us as an organization. I think i think one of the things that i've at least experienced in seen is is you hear the burn out factor and you know the burn out factor is alive and well for a variety of reasons not just events But but you.
Doug Stephan
Justin Fairfax Accuses Terry McAuliffe of Treating Him Like Emmett Till
"The old governor who's planning on running for governor again, and Justin Fairfax, the rapists lieutenant governor whose star rose in the Democrat Party after being Repeatedly accused of rape very credibly by women. He became more popular in the Democrat Party and yesterday just in Fairfax is black. And he accused Terri make awful of treating him like George Floyd. And he brought Emmett till into it, too remarkable stuff. These people, the racism that these people spread is just and keeping in mind. They're the party of Jefferson Davis and the Confederacy of Nathan Bedford Forrest in the clan. They're the party of everything awful every racial stain in the history of the country. Bull Connor and Orval Faubus and George Wallace and Robert Byrd and the Oh
Fantasy Feast: 'Eatin
NFL flexes Washington-Panthers to keep intrigue in Cowboys-Eagles
"Let's start with. The panthers and washington got moved to four zero five because they do not want the philadelphia eagles and the dallas cowboys to know that they've been eliminated if washington wins. They want the eagles and cowboys to still believe that. There's a chance dominated a chance during that game. So what do you got for. Washington carolina while for fantasy purposes It's well we're going to have to see who washington's quarterback is this week although rate before we got on on the podcasts. Here there was a situation involving dwayne haskins. Where their post on social media of of haskins Getting swag on at a at a strip club without a mask on look believe me. I know that there are Those are establishments where clothing is optional. but in the nfl masks are not right now. So washington is not going to be very happy about dwayne haskins. I think it was Tom pal sarab. Nfl network reporting that the team is handling that internally not happy. I'm sure. I think they want alex smith back this week. Anyway against carolina that would raise the ceiling of this offense. I'm still not one hundred percent. I as a matter of fact. I'm not confident at all antonio gibson playing this game turf toe is very painful so that should mean a big role for jd. Mckissic once again had a huge fantasy game last week against seattle. It was nice to see terri mclaren. Come alive in that game. A little bit with dwayne haskins at quarterback too good matchup against carolina. I would use him as a wide receiver. Three and over last month of the season only two tight end. Travis kelsey and darren waller have been targeted more have caught more passes and scored more fantasy points than logan thomas. He is a tight end. One now against the carolina panthers and i think everything would look better for washington if alex smith can play quarterback.
On The Media
Civil rights icon John Lewis to lie in state at U.S. Capitol
"Body of the late congressman and civil rights icon John Lewis is lying in state of the Alabama capital this evening. Earlier, a horse drunk, Hassan carried his flag draped casket over the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma, one last time. That's where Lewis and other civil rights leaders were savagely beaten by police 55 years ago as they tried to cross the bridge. France Hill was at the bridge today was waiting out there for you. No respect. At a memorial service in Selma this morning, Congresswoman Terri Sewell. We continue to benefit from his life's work. He's laid out the blueprint for us to pick up the baton. And continue his march. For voting rights for civil rights for human rights. Lewis's body will lie in state of the U. S Capitol building Monday and Tuesday, and his funeral will
The Sunday Show
Body of John Lewis crosses bridge in Alabama, site of 'Bloody Sunday' attack that helped lead to Voting Rights Act
"Is underway across Selma, Alabama's Edmund Pettus Bridge in Remembrance of civil Rights icon and Georgia Congressman John Lewis. It's one in a Siri's of events leading up to his funeral Thursday in Atlanta. NPR's Debbie Elliot is in Selma. Saturday Services honoring Louis were in his hometown of Troy, Alabama, and its Selma's historic Brown Chapel Church once used for mass meetings during the civil rights movement. Alabama's first black Congress woman, Terri Sewell of Selma spoke at the service. I want to thank the family for allowing Selma To say goodbye to John. Thank you, Selma. Final goodbye comes today as an honor Guard escorts Lewis's casket draped in an American flag over the iconic Edmund Pettus Bridge. That's where Luis and others were beaten by law officers as they marched for equal voting rights. Later, Louis will lie in state at the Alabama capital in Montgomery, Debbie Elliot
Trent365
The Very Real Danger Of Spas Offering Wellness
"This is a matter of trust. Spa and wellness operators must be scrupulous when making claims about the benefits of all treatments and wellness experiences. That was a quote from lease Terry. Now Liz is the CEO all Lisu Mea which amongst other things of course publishes Spa Business Magazine and she was referring to a case with champions which is a very famous spiral parade in the UK. Where they were going to be taken to court by the Local Council on. Nineteen separate charges essentially relating to. I guess false claims making claims about the benefits of certain things that aren't necessarily provable. One of the things mentioned was that a particular recipe or particular item on the menu would help reduce the risk of cancer and that as it turned out was a claim that they couldn't really substantiate with medical evidence or clinical evidence or anything else and I think it's a really timely example of the dangers of jumping on board the wellness wagon these days. Every single hotel operator. I talk to once wellness in this spot in the hotel but don't necessarily know what wellness is you know. Yoga and meditation and stuff like that is the the kind of response yet. But it reminded me also a few years ago. One of the big wellness conferences. Everybody was talking about mental wellness. It was the hot topic of that particular year and following. That event was talking about implementing mental wellness in spas. And of course what. I ask them how they're going to do that. What professionals that I bring in training and they're going to do. How are they going to implement it? They said it will just basically try now existing staff on the realities of mental wellness and how to treat it and and I just had. I had a mental breakdown myself just thinking about it. I mean the amount of the amount of potential in something like that to go really really wrong by just taking existing SPA therapist who has no prior knowledge of mental wellness or mental health conditions necessarily and doing a bit of a Google search or during a bit of short-term course and believing that they can then deal with people's mental wellness issues. It's a pretty dangerous road to go down and I see some spas and some hotels trying to go down that road now with all things wellness we gotta be really careful when we stopped making claims about the benefits of what we're offering at of course inspiring wellness will particularly the hotels power and wellness world for longtime. It hasn't been It hasn't been as big a concern. Because the implication haven't been so great but if we're going to tell people eat these foods that I need to worry about your cancer treatment and things like that then obviously you know we're going down a slippery slope. Priscilla so timely advice from lose Terri. I'll put a link to that article in the comments below unlike to hear comments on this because I think it's going on everywhere wellness
AP News Radio
Maren Morris could win 8 at CMA Awards
"The CMA awards will kick off with a medley of country hits over the decades with a who's who of female singers host Carrie Underwood Dolly Parton and Reba McIntire Martina McBride Gretchen Wilson Terri Clark Sara Evans crystal Gayle Jennifer nettles tenure Tucker and the high women Merrin Morris has a shot at eight trophies entertainer of the year contenders are Underwood Keith urban Garth Brooks Eric church and Chris Stapleton Miranda Lambert says she wants under what to win I've never won it but I always look for who should win it based on what they've done that you're for country music I Margie's Arla
Patti Vasquez with Andrea Darlas
Who is William Barr, Trump's pick to be the next attorney general?
"General attorney general once during George H W Bush who passed away this week's presidency. And served. Most people would not even remember he was Terri general. That's how no controversy surrounded him while he was in office during George H W Bush's term and James Comey FBI director famously fired by President Trump was asked today. What did he think about William bar taking this job here? And he says that he likes and respects Bill bar. He knows he's an institutionalists who cares about the integrity of the Justice department says he sure he'll use these standard career resources. He has to judge what he should be involved in what he should be involved with. So he's actually saying he's a pretty good pick. The problem here is that if you go back and look at what William Moore has been saying about the molar investigation. You can begin to see why the president might pick him to this job. By the way, he's sixty eight years old back in ninety one to ninety three us criticize the investigation echoing pretty much would Donald Trump said when he raised questions about molars team has made political donations to democratic campaigns bar said, quote, excuse me, in my view. Prosecutors make political contributions are identifying Shirley strong with a political party. And he said I would have liked to see more balance on this group. Now, you're it really doesn't matter. If you make political contributions or not it's not a matter of having to disclose this or not you're supposed to follow the law and the courts, whether you're an investigator. Who likes a democrat or Republican? You're not gonna get anywhere with the prosecution unless you have the facts and the evidence to back it up a court injury supports it. So this argument that well. Yeah. Some of these people may have been Democrats. Robert Muller is running the investigation. He's a lifelong Republican appointed originally to his job is FBI director by Republican. Wow. Now, here's the six degrees of separation comes in as you mentioned bar served as attorney general under president, George H W Bush, but in the early nineties he supervised Muller in his work as the head of the Justice Department's criminal division could be seen as any sort of a conflict. I don't think. So I mean, you know, this guy what you say in private life is. What's really funny is that the the people who are star complaining about bar saying, well, look what he said and private life. Well, it's the same thing that the president's complaining about these. Prosecutors look what they did in private life. They gave the Democrats here that should really have no bearing on whether you are following the law and James Comey seems to have confidence in it'd be okay. I think it's going to be a moot point by the time he gets confirmed into office, which will not be this month will be well into next year. And in the meantime, Robert Muller, the Russian investigation machine is is just chugging along with indictments and revelations by the hour. So he could be all done by the time. He gets into office. Yeah. He says he's to sources ABC saying that bars likely to accept the job if it's offered to him. He still has to be confirmed by the Senate will that be an easy easy thing to do Andy. Or you see that being an uphill battle. Republicans vote lockstep. Yes. They've got the votes to confirm anyone they want. They've got fifty three to forty seven majority. So it's every Republican votes. Yes. It really doesn't matter. What the Democrats say in the Senate also, and you touched on this a little bit too supported the president's firing of James, call me, and he's the one who wrote that op Ed piece in the Washington Post that Trump made the right move. So again could come back to haunt or create any sort of conflict. Andy. Well, we'll see, but he wrote the Toby sandbag the FBI leadership and engaging grave usurp shin of a sorority in handling the Clinton Email probe. It's amazing. The the FBI ended this Email investigation more than two years ago. And we're still talking about James Comey went up today to testify closed door session. In for house. Republicans who will lose the power to ask anyone to do this in about two weeks two or three weeks and publicly they've been saying we want to know what sparked this investigation into Donald Trump. Why why suddenly we you so interested in these Russian connections when we think that the evidence supporting it originally now not now because we know much more about it. But originally was pretty flimsy, according to Republicans and James Comey walks out of the session today and said, well, they pretty much just asked me about Hillary's Email ask anything else. And we saw were that way. Right. Thank gosh. Anywhere before we let you go. You just said the investigation is chugging along. And it is do you see any big progress or any big announcement by the end of two thousand eighteen or before the end of the year? Boy, I wish I had a crystal ball. This is this is an interesting nothing leaks out of the molar investigation. This is the most watertight ship of any investigation. I think we've seen in many many years here. He is the only way you ever hear from wherever Muller is a paper that's filed on a court usually late on a Friday afternoon. Which is why we are talking about this late on a Friday afternoon pretty much every week. Which is why we thank you for being our first guest as always. Eddie. Thank you get some sleep and on again. Are you to that is the great ABC news? Andy Field who is a tireless in his reporting. And we think time it's been a very long day for him on Capitol Hill. More after this on seven twenty WGN. Introducing the amazing iphone