20 Episode results for "Termi"

111 - Masters of Kink

Turn Me On

1:30:52 hr | 1 year ago

111 - Masters of Kink

"Awaken fauria c._b._d. Arousal oil is a luxurious new way to enhance sensations of arousal and melt into deeper more accessible orgasms promoting natural lubrication and release of physical tension awaken creates the relaxation and enjoyment necessary for central experience release and restorative rest for fifteen percent off awakened or any other products offered by fauria go to four wellness dot com and enter promo code. Turn me john hello baby <music>. Hello hello ragtime. Girl is is it. Hello my baby hello darling. I think what is a rag town on. Girl is a town ragtime ragtime yeah. I think it's a ragtime dance ragtime girl. It's a waltz. It's a it's a waltzing ulsan girl. Ooh hello moe. Hello my baby. Hello my honey. I i guess hello my ragtime summertime gal. Send me a kiss by a wire baby. My heart's on fire do you think do you think that maybe people wet like here and stuff like that back. In the day. Well i mean it was sung by this frog so oh wait hold on michigan j frog in hello my be my baby. Let's let's go through these lyrics era plant <hes> <hes> you know what i bet you a hundred dollars that this is a public within the public domain now what's his name. <hes> michigan j a frog michigan j frog how much you know it's a tin pan alley song written in eighteen ninety nine eight t gene ninety nine. This is in the public domain for sure played played this frog now barack on oh baby my heart's on then you'll be left alone no baby. I promise okay okay now. Do you think do you think like singing that to you know some gal. You're courting <hes> just like make it like now back in the day that that was like oh. I don't think that was ever charming her luminary. Why do they always sing like a frog. Now only be held on medallion yellow red sun. That sounds great. It hurts my fucking through. Shouldn't it sounds like it should be should be protecting your throat all right so that was eighteen ninety nine ninety nine. Let's let's fast forward now to <hes> to <hes>. Let's see what year was this nineteen ninety nine. Maybe two maybe two thousand yeah so a little bit of a different song but it within the same within the same kind of <hes> sentiment intimate so this is actually this song i heard when i was a when i was a montreal back in ireland drinks and were eating at this restaurant and they were only playing music videos and this came on and i was like why didn't we make this fucking intro music to the show ready yeah it also broad finger and pushing it take away from home and and they hey how come on chris my body. You know what that's called easy. Termi termi called termi on what a fucking missed opportunity that was you know what his name is. This made me laugh really hard. We were going through these videos and we're like all right. We'd see videos has and songs that we've heard a thousand million times over and the game was name who saw it and i was like. I don't know you know it's not shaggy shaggy. I used way to like way more on the reggae side of things. It's not <hes> it's not like. I couldn't put my finger on it. Do you know whose name this is now. It's it is it's like the nerdy is name now kevin little yeah kevin little kevin little. I liked that and unfortunately fortunately for kevin little. This is the only song that took off but <hes> but hey man it's quite catchy. Here's a fucking catch you on today. Hopefully we don't get sued for playing that on the on the show mind baby it's been so long really has holy smoke. Sometimes it just feels like we i don't even we're just two ships passing in the night. Sometimes it feels like especially the summer had a really sad room about you last night. Oh do tell he died. Oh yeah lincoln but like in the normal way that we're all expecting or know something totally unexpected. Did you witness it. Now i didn't asset you're just suddenly gone. No it was really sad. I was really sad all morning about it. Really one of those dreams ones that lasts it lasts a long longtime. We'll babe. I'm here so good to see. I'm here. It's so good to see you here on the on the show i mean we we literally haven't really seen each other much. <hes> because i was away i was doing a whole bunch of different festivals and doing that whole thing and then <hes> you were. I've been back and forth so much and i. I just think that summer's summer's are tough to schedule. They're very brief and they're jam packed and it's like summers like extended christmas. I feel like december sucks because like december. It's all about christmas christmas parties everywhere and then his new year's answer birthday. Oh my god it's overwhelming summers like that but drawn out yeah feels the same way it started slow but then bang bang bang has gone over sh sh- sarah's almost over no. It's not <hes> go ahead. No i'd had nothing to say. I was just going to that was that's. That's the that's universal signed for. Let's change the subject but yeah catching up on on turkey on stuff has been been really fun to do today. Yes it has been fun. I mean maybe we can make like a little unofficial official announcement but while we were much while you and i were montreal we went to just for laughs and we did a live recording there which hasn't come out yet but i can't wait worth come out. There was so the first time we ever did a solo to host episode for for a live show and it went very well <hes> but i guess it went so well that just for laughs was <hes> stoked enough to who invite us to perform another live show at just for laughs in toronto jeff l. forty two. That's really exciting. I know so we don't have an official date yet but it'll be the weekend of september twenty seventh right twenty seven twenty eight hundred twenty nine one of those days and so that means we'll be in toronto and we'll be doing a live show show again this time it will be free. I think yeah i think so. We'll get some details on that shit yet which is very exciting and then and then on top of that we got another little show live show coming up <hes> shortly after that shortly after that much over seventh monday night in ottawa at sait no not at all gone college. I always mixes to what's eight sadism calgary sick what he's done a number of shows. They're now all gone on college. We loved our time there last year so we're going to be back there. We're going to be recording <hes> we gotta guests lined up and everything. It's going to be a good time so yeah. Just keep your ears and is peeled and will you know we should do a halifax left. Show should prolly not in september. Maybe october all right well. Let's get to some stuff talk about well. I i know we we picked out a little brain boehner here. Beforehand is kind of a long one one so go right into that. Yeah i think so unless you have anything else to talk about now not really i mean i'm sure some stuff will come up but okay <hes>. I'm trying to think of other. I have anything i think i can say this. I met my boyfriend's entire family this weekend. It was amazing. Oh yeah i was really fun. I don't wanna get into it and it was really really sweet and i think it's nice to get to know the people in the lives of the people that you really care about yeah. It's been a long time coming has so that's nice. It feels nice feels right for you. Okay i want to jump into this brain boehner tobriand variety and jeremy as someone with ninety nine percent conventional friends. I feel i need assistance. Navigating the unconventional my brain boehner is about a recent occurrence in my life. I am qabli exited a six-year open relationship at the start of the year. There were no fireworks leading to the end just more of a deceleration ration- of our relationship into something akin to flatmates that shared a bed. We stayed very close but i moved out four months ago. This week was a significant birthday of his as for the first time i felt deep sadness when he told me he was going to a family party with his new girlfriend he and she were casually dating whilst we were still together she even stayed over over after we officially ended things but whilst we still live together i felt we always got on the hardest part of leaving was to not be a part of his family but i was assured that i would still always be a part of his family and his life so it felt like it was a real kick in the teeth when he told me he and his new girlfriend were headed to a party his grandparents were throwing it hadn't occurred to him to invite me and it was the first time i realized that despite what he had said the truth is we aren't really family anymore. In the way everyone else senator stands. He said i should come along to a dinner on his actual birthday with just coast family and a couple of friends in the new girlfriend instead. I felt like i was gatecrashing as i was only we asked after i brought up feeling hurt that i couldn't celebrate with him. I wasn't looking for an invite. I might add. I didn't know there were any more birthday. Celebrations planned at this point but he assured showed me. This wasn't the case. He said his dad had told him. He thought it wasn't quite right. It was just meant to be family but he assured me everyone else was really supportive and excited to see me that our relationship was open never shared so from a conventional standpoint. I suspect that it is hard for anyone to get their head around. It started off mostly well. If it's a little awkward on his dad's side and that was the only weirdness i expected halfway through the meal. I suspected all was not well after my ex and his new girlfriend went for a long long long conversation halfway through dinner but honestly didn't think it was to do with me. His family are intense. I noticed throughout the meal. She was getting more agitated but having been in her position position as the new girl amongst the clan. I knew it was hard to settle into. She and i ended up in the bathroom together. Shortly after and i said as much that is family are crazy but she said no his family weren't intense and actually it was me that was the problem. She didn't understand why i would be invited. Along to a family event there was nothing rude said just said she didn't get it and was obviously upset and unsettled. It turned out. I was the problem all along. I excuse myself from the rest of the dinner. As quickly as i could and told my exit i would stay away from another birthday party. He was having with friends at his house the next night so i didn't cause any more issues now i feel stuck. He's my best friend for six years. He was akin kintu. My only friend and i want him in my life and i don't know how to be close to him. Without being somewhat intimate for now will always toe the line between friendship and something thing more even if there is no longer any physical attraction either way. We are just good friends and i said so much. He is the barriers head in the sand type so oh if there's if there's anything sensible i can do to help the new girlfriend see i am not a threat or is it a lost cause. I suppose the ultimate question is how can you stay friends with an axe ex when they get into a new relationship when your relationships are not conventional from anonymous blue. That's a that's a lot <hes>. I remember this brings me back. When i read that too this one night in montreal after i had broken up with a boyfriend and i had been in that relationship for about six years and i was on the phone with my step mom asking her for advice because i had some sort of an acquaintanceship with his family and i was really really like wanting to see how they were. I was really like curious about how they were doing and excetera and my ex boyfriend was is not open to that at all. He seemed really offended by it. So i called my mother for advice and she was like she her advice which just really stuck with me and i i don't agree with everything she's ever taught me but was give give that person's their their their space like that's their family the and in this time it's like it's kind of not about you. Yeah i mean i think it's kind of similar to one of those the things that we've touched on this this question before where people write in and they ask you know. How do i get over someone. I'm i broke up with that. I'm still in love with or how do i. How do i continue to be friends with someone like you know we've kind of touched on those those topics before and it feels like every tom redo the the the the piece that continuously comes up is like it might just take some time like time seems to we all all in those types of scenarios but in terms of lake specifically speaking to the new partner <hes> <hes> and how the new partner is is not feeling comfortable with like this friendship existing <hes>. I've found that like you. You're we're really good at this terror. Your sister's really good at this but like and i've i've been in a similar situation where i've had to kind of had to figure out how to deal with with that serve scenario but i find like taking one on one time with the person who might be feeling insecure without your their respective partner being there so in this is case the new girlfriend and anonymous going for coffee or going out for a drink and like spending an evening together and just maybe not even talking about this shit but just enjoying each other's company and with the with the purpose of like showing in good faith to this person that look i'm not. I'm not a threat. There's nothing for you to worry about and like i value do you as a human and i respect your boundaries and because i think that does go a long way. <hes> i sure it don't try to do it out of like a family function. Maybe maybe just like figure out a way to do that. You know on your own time somewhere else but there were she did kind of allude to there being some intimacy than yeah. Why think intimacy <music>. My guests in in that case is like it's a i don't know if it's a there's no physical attraction there so i'm assuming physical intimacy. It's just a closeness that comes from having been and if that's the case yes that's the case then i think like by all means just communicate make sure that that is communicated or or at least you feel as being felt by the by the other partner yeah you wanna be a safe person and ooh integrity yes in the situations for sure because the other thing is like with your with with anonymous ex-boyfriend <hes> if if he's if he is like the stick your head in the sand type of person <hes> there's it's really all that he can do is is be in the middle of it and try to communicate to all parties how he feels about it all right but i think like more of the work cast to come from the person who's not feeling comfortable and the person who wants to be within the picture in some way like i think like using using him as the as the messenger or the middleman cut that shit out like that's not going to that won't fly because you don't know what he's going to be relaying in terms of. Have you know the whole picture we've run into that with questions of of polly emery setups where it's like. There's a girlfriend. The other significant for your partner is like trying to talk to her through through the partner in the middle. It's just like a just a total mess. Yeah i know i think those excellent point <hes> and jeremy. I think you're i think you're spot on. I agree with you. There is something to i think just just demystifying vying the other person you know like if the two of you can sit down and have just like a a hang out just the two of you i think like sometimes people were that that that we feel insecure around like new new partners or ex girlfriends or whatever ex partners is like they're they. They don't they're not a real person. They're like mystifying. You know surreal otherworldly entity. You know that that that maybe maybe just it helps to hang out and and demystify that person and be like oh. You're just a re that they immediately become less threatening when you realize they're human and what's really funny is like when you're on the other end of that like you can see it. <hes> you know. Have you ever been in that scenario. Where like you know someone feels insecure about you or or whatever and then you take that time to hang out with them and then you can see them like unpacking everything right there in front of you and then you know our europe yeah totally i have have been. It's funny how you can be so aware of like because i've been in that scenario. Choose i've been in. I've been in in her shoes. You know the new partner. I've i've been there but again. It just takes a little bit of an and again when i find when i am in that same situation more often than not i try to put myself often the scenario where i go okay figure this out. Do is the reason for you to be insecure or are you just making that shit up. Yeah get in here and have a conversation with this guy. I have a conversation with this girl. Have the conversation with this person yeah and often if you can do that well. It's it's nice when that when you are this is totally departing from europe komo and we're talking to whoever forget anonymous i'm tired but if you are feeling if if someone is may someone's not making you feel insecure but if there's if there's a person around whom you feel insecure the most bold thing the most like the thing that can make that disappear quick more quickly than anything i've ever tried is going up starting a conversation with that person <music> being super humble and vary like i've heard such great things about you really curious about what you're up to and i just wanted to say hi mm-hmm introduce myself because as soon as you do that you'd step into confidence and like just own them you are the do you have the upper hand right. You are now more and better than i know but you know what i mean right. Let's say it's all about games is all about winning. God well. Well hope that helps it's noninvasive and whoever else is out there listening to this end securities. You're reading something. I wanna talk about that. The excuse me keep burping microphone. It was a it was some like some stats that trojans doing oh about masturbation so on here but i want to go through that again because he read it to me earlier and i was like <hes> what what was okay. It's a bit <hes> <hes>. I mean just a little heads up like we right now. Were in the were in the talks of like putting together a little a little <hes> partnership sort of episode with trojan. They've been putting in like a ton of money into <hes> well obviously like advertising but also campaign into research into sexual health for for not youth but like what would you call like university students well so this is a trojan recently conducted a new study with sex information and education council of canada which is a body. I didn't even know existed so s. i. e. c. We see a n c. Can the sex information and education council of canada is a not for profit charitable organization <hes> established in nineteen sixty four that works with health professionals educators community organizations governments and corporate partners to promote sexual and reproductive proactiv health so yeah so big study was just on with about fifteen hundred university students and yes so this email got sent to us says new study reveals masturbation is enjoyed more by women than men interesting so it's in the way these things are recorded there. You kinda takes them to wrap your head around them. So women are okay. Although men masturbate more often women are more likely to report that the last time they masturbated it was very pleasurable so does that mean and then that the people that they're interviewing. They asked you know the last time you masturbated. Was it very pleasurable there was there were orlando and more men that were like their third really thirty nine. Percent of women said the last time they masturbated. It was very pleasurable right. Twenty nine percent of men said the last time they masturbated. It was very pleasurable. Wow holy moly yeah yeah twenty nine percent. I'm thinking about the last time i masturbated and would you say it was very pleasurable. No uh-huh no. I can't remember the last time i masturbated whereas like that was very pleasure. Have you ever time macerata. I'm like really had to get it out of me. Wow yeah. I think there's masturbation is <music> all about pleasure. It's never about just like releasing tension for me for me. It's like god has come out very little amount of feeling bloated carol extra liquid yeah but then but then there's the times where like cause like when usually when i masturbate i'm i'm literally like there's no spit just a dry hand yeah quick like web of the porn real quick but then sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes i'll be like in bed and i'll be like gonna use the go. I'm willing to use some lube lube like a huge like that's a fucking. That's an it's an ordeal and whenever that happens. I'm like it's very pleasurable. I would say very enjoyable roybal okay well. That's good to know i i can't think of i can't think of any anytime that that it's ever been anything but our director of driving a car once and was that very pleasurable. Are you doing it skype. I gotta get to come out. Okay all right so okay. Then this one gets a little more complicated okay forty six percent of women who masturbate sure bait more than once a week reported that the last time was very pleasurable more than once a week okay thirty three percent who masturbate less than once a week report that it's very pleasurable so basically if you if view masturbate more than once a week it's going to be then. It likely will be very pleasurable if you're versus less than once week yeah interesting. That's that surprises me because i would've figured it'd be the ad like the other way round right because there's like save it. Yeah i guess ah is there anything in there that about like guys at masturbate look less or more than once a week. The only stats that were in the email bites probably like how many times a week do you manage just seventy three yeah no there there is <hes> there is more there's more information and this study is going to be published but i i don't wanna get you into it because we're gonna. Actually we're going to do a deeper dive into this information mation in another episode episode for what it's like national sex week ler national sexual health day yeah coming up in the world international international international world the whole world in internationally cool okay well research. Let's start to this week's episode episode. Oh yeah all right sounds good. So this is an episode we also recorded in toronto just sift flying through those dot toronto episodes but with <hes> with our friend kaitlyn who is doing her masters in basically can't kink yeah right it interesting stuff. I mean last week's episode we we talked with a practicing doctor pretty deep news greer this this this week's episode we're talking to an aspiring in dr not yet in her career <hes> but just as fascinating nonetheless so i hope you enjoy this week's episode and and as always we'll be back next week with another one. I don't ever do this no you. Are you never say that. You say we love you all and beyond. We'll see you on the other side. Is that it it's not just protect your teeth but it actually is to protect your jaw yeah. She's your jaw muscles. Get like really tight and they can get to the point where it's actually painful yeah. I don't understand how it works because you think you'd still be able to clench your teeth even if you add something which i think it's just more of a cushion honestly and like definitely to protect attacked kind of your enamel and stuff right. So what does your name will do. Does it like what the fuck is enamel. I have no idea i don't dentist school for. I need to go to a dentist bad. I haven't been in three years. It's bad. I just got got into <hes> definitely haven't been longer than that but it's like at least sad i don't. I just went for the other day to <hes>. She's probably is probably seven years like what else twenty five like when i was able to when i had some sort of coverage it's so absurdly expensive dentistry school like i did a couple of days ago. It was <hes> seventy five bucks or something or for over a stool exam mm-hmm yeah she was a student and she full exam and she told me everything i already knew which was great and yeah she was gonna just basically it's just nice to know at thirty five. I probably haven't been to the dentist either in five years that then i'm doing okay taking care of me. Yeah you make sure the so integral to your health it is it really should be covered. Yeah i think yeah well oh. What do i know you know what here's a. Here's a good little segue. <hes> caitlyn <hes> are we. Can we use your name. Okay great <hes> i mean. I don't see why we wouldn't considering what you're doing your masters i do remember now. Oh you're now you're moving in. Which is why i was gonna. Ask <hes> is there. Are there any kinks that are that <hes> that involve teeth teeth kinks that you've come across in your in your studies. He's like what specifically like. There's activities that involved. I fighting pretty common one. I feel <hes> biting finish or maybe yes sure. Biting fetish might not be but i mean like biting in sexual play yeah so like biting sexual sexual plays definitely a common like an actual binding to the extent where it's like an end unto itself. I haven't encountered that many people personally. I have an invested interest because that's my biden yes. Oh fuck explains your engine that we were speaking about five biting. People people people are putting me okay. Okay okay so yeah yeah. Why why why are people biting. You is the pain <hes> yeah well like. I identify mostly as a masochist so for me. It's just like yeah that rush that endurance that pain tolerance also just like the merck's leaves. I'm kind of into <hes> because it bruce bruce is like a motherfucker <hes> at least the way. I like it yeah so i pretty much covered you like it's kind of i don't know watching that healing process and just realizing for like a couple of weeks. They're like yeah did stuff right and having that kind of reminder minder is i don't know to me i find it sexy i've been asked to bite and <hes> and unlike requested by it harder and harder yeah and and there was one time where i was like if i buy any harder than i am right now. There's no way i'm not going to break through the skin. I was so scared of like going through this game. I i was cool with you. Know sure lift leave. Some deep marks and legs probably gonna be bruising but i was like. I really don't wanna taste your blood well. No it wasn't about it was it was battled. Tastes bekker's blood like whatever that's fine but i didn't wanna like qatar 'cause yeah well. We'll also just like you get into like. Sanitary issues and human saliva disgusted infections and stuff like that you'd have to like. I've never had an instance. It's of having like my skin broken and i've been pretty damn hard. That's what i was taught pretty resilient. There was a voice in the back of my head with that was like you're good. You've got to do it pretty hard. I remember reading that <hes> although we do have the strength and power in our own bodies to bite off our own fingers we won't physically can't physically anti-riot yeah. I think it's the same as like i mean. I don't know how true this is but like you like you. Physically can't just drown ground yourself right. I mean you couldn't hold your head underwater. Your body just goes. I yeah you'd be like <hes> okay well anyway anyway. You are doing your p._h._d. Masters i'm not i'm in the in the fall application process for okay okay in kink basically okay yeah you live for us. Rule don't want my thesis pitch yeah so mike thesis basically centers law around the question of should kink or beatty some practitioners kind of be under the umbrella of sexual orientation <hes> and a lot of that. I like legally. There's a lot of impetus for that because people don't a lot of people don't know this but there have been various instances with child custody job bob security and so forth of people who are out to partake in bedia seven they fired and they have no legal protections all so that's definitely one impetus for it but also for myself like i find it kind of our current definitions of sexual orientation are pretty narrow in in my opinion because what do you guys think when you think sexual orientation in the what the definition is <hes> the like the the gender with which you <hes> <hes> are attracted to gay street so most is pretty filter down to just gender which i think it needs an update because it's neither the word sexual orientation actually dictate the gender that you're attracted to <hes> so one of the things scholars who i really like charles moser focuses says on kind of orientation be a little more multifaceted including things like interest so what kind of sex or sexual activity or are people. You were interested in identity how you identify yourself and your actual behavior so what you actually do interesting. This is really trippie because like literally ten minutes before you walked in. We finished a recording with <hes> dr james cantor. Who's a doctor dr from from here in toronto. He's currently a sex therapist but he did <hes> a a very large amount of his work. The dedicated to parents feel is in particular <hes> in particular pedophilia and and basically like thank you know doing a deep dive into what where does pedophilia come from his pedophilia. You know brain scans of of people who are <hes> and i think in that conversation specifically we were. We like kind of touched on. I think i asked i was like i think is kate considered <hes> <hes> an orientation or is it or is it or is it or is it just based from past experience and cantor's answer was like we don't really know no but it is like i actually checked recently just <hes> because i know the d._s._m. Five so the diagnostic psych daniel annual thing which was has been updated like it's still has like sadism and masochism and various other fetishes under a para phileas like the only real distinction is beforehand. It's just in and of itself is is considered a psychological disorder just for existing whereas now oh. It's like if you're happy about it and it's causing you to stress. It's fine but it's causing you distressed then. It's a problem so it's still technically there road which i think you could argue that with a lot of stigma and face like that it would be causing you distress right yeah right with stigma but like we wouldn't you also argue that like it. It could also be <hes> causing you distress if it if it's if it's if the scales tip a little too far you know if you take it a little too like for example. I'm thinking of like this is a bad example. I mean enough. I should bring this up because it's so fucked faulk but albert fish yeah like sticking needles in your taint and then using them in your body and then being like you know like that. Maybe that's not okay. Maybe yeah yeah so. It's like drawing the line between what is like too much right. I think is something that definitely it's worth considering right right. Obviously that's an extreme and awful example. That is a very very very terrible. Example will do and also if you don't know albert fish. Don't just don't don't do y- i <hes> i don't know if i would be interpreting. What james kantor said read accurately <hes> when i suggest this but what i thought i heard him say was that <hes> so so things like pedophilia things like homosexuality there. The studies are showing brains are showing that these things are you are developing albin utero is it's not as perhaps we all once thought like something happened to you. It's environment. It's a circumstance. It's like like an incident or whatever and what. I thought he was saying to you about <hes> was that to a degree he he doesn't know this for sure but to degree. He suspects that studies would show that be d._s._m. Would show up on brain scans as against something thing that is a similar like built men however the when we go to the extreme ends of things he he suspected that there there there might like in addition to that be environmental <hes> factors that increase the intensity of off you know beyond like rough sex or beyond like <hes> what was the other example used or he was talking about like really extreme breath play uh-huh brow yeah so at least that's kind of what i heard was like two degree reborn with our orientation our interests yeah or or whatever and then and then but in with extremes of things through that that might it might be compelled by <hes> in saving incidents day exactly yeah well. That's why foul with a lot of my because i did interviews for my thesis project and definitely one thing i found a super interesting. Is that a lot. A lot of people were very aware of their kings and their interest in even before they knew what genders they attracted to like. I had several participants who is like and it sounds like at five that i was in the being spanked or like they would not necessarily have a context or a word for it. They just knew they'd have an interest in certain things well. We hear that from people who like oh i got suddenly aroused by batman tying up robin things like that and like the more they cite site various tax or forms of media. It's just it can kinda be found everywhere pretty much interesting yeah. So what is what. What is some of the stuff that you've you've learned in through doing the work that you're doing right now. That's that's kinda surprised. You're shocked you. I think definitely that's one of them. <hes> how like i inadvertently tapped into like the spanking community 'cause they interviewed two participants who the idea of how they call themselves spank owes go term yeah and you know they have conventions and so even an entire kind of community and they would all say that they would cite like the same kind of forms of media like that one little house on the prairie book or something like that i knew new and seven that's one thing i'm definitely going to delve into further for a book chapter because to me that's fascinating. That's they have almost cannon for their kink right right. Yeah very that's really interesting yeah and these these like these pieces of of pop culture or whatever like they tend to be. There's a pattern they they tend to be the similar yeah yeah so participants were saying that they talk to people like all like online message boards all across north america and they'd all site the same one right so it's kind of i missed out. I always thought little hustle and prairie was so boring. I should have should have done some good quality spanking content. Oh that's really funny. <hes> what <hes> you know. You were saying earlier that you you you have <hes> you have your own kinks. You're on your own play that you're you're into what what what like give us a little bit of background like how how does one end up doing a thesis on on something so specific as kink <hes>. We'll put you into this world. What oh man my origin story. That's like my questions to my participants. I think for me like i always had i. I was definitely that like weird kid at like age eleven and twelve who was like obsessed with sex like pretty much the minute i hit puberty i was like the hornets kid and existence silence right in what what what degree like like hump on the couch and and like like you know touching yourself any moment you could you could find privacy chang for nerdy like i was made to sex researcher because like from age twelve or thirteen on thankfully my parents were pretty open about it and they were cool the but i just be like getting them to buy me books and books from the library and stuff like that. I was just like i started craving knowledge. I wanted to know more. I want us to know more definitely definitely the like. I went to catholic school so that probably contributed to the kinks into lhasa. Nothing like some good old repression yeah. Obviously what kind of books are we talking like. I mean you know brady. I know that you were reading <hes>. What's up like garden in the wind or whatever the fucking flowers in the attic yeah. That's flowers. Let me ask you the wind good. Try <hes> flowers in the attic. <hes> you know you're reading this sort of you've like sexy almost borderline like erotic literature but for pre teens oh well i would not call flowers in the attic fourteen but somehow ended up in the hands of many many many teenagers <hes>. It's like it's v. C. andrews news and v._c._e. Andrews rights while i can't i can't really speak to to what else they right but <hes> flowers in the attic. It's like highly it's highly incestuous story and i and but here's the thing i wanted to bring this up a james skinner but i'm just gonna bring it up now. I didn't bring it up because i don't really know how to pronounce this author's name. I want to say a nice nice man. Oh yeah yeah is rated pronounce it. Can you youtube how to pronounce a nice man. <hes> i mean. It looks like that's eight pronounced by reading it on. I i am as knin i want. I want you to tell me how to pronounce it but anyway i picked up a book of <hes> by that author and i can't remember what it's called fuck can you what's the name of venus <hes> no not. I think that's a play <hes> hang on. I gotta go look it up. I need to know for context. I look what is it nike's the nice in <hes> venus. What's it called. I got you you keep talking about you. I picked up a book delta of venus venus insa. It's it's like i think it's one story but every chapter is its own erotic story and but i remember i was reading it to you and i was like wow this is a conversation about this story is like definitely about having sex with tildren you know and it's like but do you know this. You know the background of this <hes>. I've i've i read. I looked it up but i don't really interesting delta venus's book fifteen short stories by a nice neiman published post humid humus humus posthumously in nineteen seventy any seven though largely written in the nineteen forties as erotica for a private collectors yeah so she it they had a correspondent so he paid her to write erotic <hes> stories and send them to him and that's what this book is a compilation of and and it's it's it's it's fantasy and as we talked about james kim charts like fantasy does not mean you're gonna go out and do it. You know in real life yeah yeah but i hesitate so one of our patriotic levels. If you subscribe to our bedroom is i i i read a like a neurotic story or roddick poem or something like that and send you a recording of that and i wanted to read the stories of this and i started reading them. I was like i don't know what the response will be to sharing stories like this however super valuable i think in terms of like what what is what is rodham what is erotica it. Is it hurting someone one if i write this if if i read the story if i write the story that includes like sex with underage girls or boys or or rape or you you know whatever the the fantasy is anyway so i'm still not i'm not. I'm still trying to take this book back out of the library because i've decided that i am going to read them and i am going to record m._p. You absolutely should for our patriot listeners. It's like this is historical. It's historical erotica and i just i just love that so i. I can't remember where i was going with. This where we were going with us to title back was you were saying you were you were taking a lot of books and i was saying was in the wind gardens and so are you talking more about like you know. Scientific yeah backed yeah like more to me like things from like sue joe hansen n. like those kind of things. We're like kind of my launch pad at an yeah blab to you know my other twelve year old friends and they're just kinda got to the point because you know kids sock. Were there like you need to tone it down basically throat high school attorney to be a little bit more reserved and stuff like that and then obviously you get to university and i'm like people pretty much well. I know one twenty two twenty six right now and when i was twenty two there was i was in t._v. Class journalism and we are trying a couple of story ideas and i like pushed my group. I'm like we should do think kink week guys because it's important that we should cover this can create yeah so so they had like a local people from a local sex shaw for king shop kind of come in and do like to toils and stuff like that. I just remember my mind just being blown and i went home and i was like <hes> <hes> things like percolating. I was like this makes sense <hes> and then like within that year or had one of my first lake official play partners and stuff like that. She actually was running the workshop. That was just like well. She cute and i just remember the first night like the morning after when i woke up after we just like you know played and stuff like that so done some like impact play and stuff. I just remember waking up being like i feel like a new woman. <hes> well more realize yeah more realized and it wasn't until i was like towards the end of my bachelor's degree not really sure what i wanted to do and it was in journalism and elizabeth and journalism key right now. It's kind of a trash fire so awful lot do that. <hes> and then my minor was in women's and gender studies and we just got a new joint chair and i realized like her background was with legal intersections and lake king and like a light bulb went off in my head and like you can study tidy this what yep so talking to her and like it had held at the department our emailed me being like. Do you want to do a master's. We'll we'll give you money yeah and here we are turn me on. We'll be right back after this word from our sponsors. Hey friends. Let me tell you about the newest addition to my intimate sexy time hours. Awaken is an all-natural arousal oil the four area from its design to the sensations it provides this product feels like it was made for a goddess. I've used it as a massage. 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They also got suppositories for period relief or other types of erotic play as well as tonics for everyday wellness supplementation using organic m._c._a._t. Oil there are so many reasons to head on over to fauria fauria wellness dot com. You'll get fifteen percent off. When you use promo code. Turn me on currently they don't ship to canada portugal spain or militia but fight. Keep your eyes peeled. That's so cool so <hes> do you have like an end goal in mind with all this <hes> i've i've always been kind of very passionate about sex education and kind of just using writing or various other platforms to kind of spread that like i've always been that friend that <hes> people come to kaitlin. Can you help me with this x. problem album and stuff like that they will be like comfortable and open to those kind of things so he definitely want to use it for that more than anything else and i. I love the research aspect of it. Kinda uses combines like my journalistic training with interviews and writing but i can do it and with a little bit more frieda rita and like definitely more long form who who what do you <hes>. Is there like currently. What are you working working on right now. Like how are you. You're working on your thesis. We're like where are you within that process. I've done like all my data collection now. I've just have the uh unfortunate task of writing the whole thing <hes> and kind of doing a little bit more background research in academia. What's called a literature review of basically like the state of the research for that field right now <hes> and i know with king specifically like it's definitely more emerging field. There's a law like interestingly interestingly. I didn't realize this until i started pursuing it. There is a law of kink research happening in ottawa. Which is where i study really yes. I knew that yeah. I knew that i was stuck in yeah. Kinky has not taught clean and tidy. You know exterior. What was that ashley madison. These yeah that thing that there's just like a high population of people right. There's a bunch of them in auto like like the highest in canada. I think we said that at alive show though in somebody's was fake news so now. I feel like you're right. I haven't done my research fakeness. Whatever yeah your mom's fake news <hes> my favorite is that is that is really interesting though that there's that that because i do i've always i still do. I guess clearly this where where i'm from salt. What i'm gonna say is always taken ottawa's as to be a little bit stuffy like yeah. That's fair. That's it's the it's. It's the the city that hold oliver politicians. You know what i mean so it's like you have to kane clubs. You like to sex like clubs like <hes> kind of like chasis here in toronto. Really what's <hes>. We're coming up to ottawa <hes>. Maybe it hasn't been confirmed. We're looking at the show. I could show you the ropes do you do you attend the clubs like <hes> <hes> so i haven't as of yet i have a friend who runs a there are under thirty five kind of sex parties and king parties and paulie a <music> a things and stuff like that and she's been trying to get me out for like 'cause since december. It's just like the past year has been bananas for maze of had a lot of like family stuff explode by dad pass away in april so that's just unlike really wacky things to my sex drive and just date. It's was that unexpected. No he'd been sick for two years. It just sucked shot about grief and the effect on unsexy sexual. It's really weird and it affects everyone. Ah so different. It's just it's honestly a one. It's been a wild ride because i know one one of my friends <hes>. She lost her mom a couple years ago and she coined the term grief horny and i was like how long were you reporting for so for me. It was like i found the first month and a half afterwards. I was like ravenous just so busy. I didn't have time to like really do anything about but then like once the two month mark i noticed that it was just it just disappeared disappeared and now it's just like i can't man like your libido has kind of sean yeah. It's kinda shot and also i think for me like once the shock wears off off because i my dad was sick for two years and it's just like i tried to date through those two years highlight <hes> one more long-term relationship and stuff like that but like i kept trying to push forward <hes> but then i almost self sabotaging and kind of realizing that i'm like i can't do this. I i'm doing because i feel like i have to <hes> <hes> <hes> but definitely not and then once the shock were often about june and so for those like i been bad mental schaefer folks. Are you investigating that the way with the same leg vigorous your research yeah of course what you can't turn it off. It's actually like psychological as yourself constantly. It's like it's a little annoying income. Sometimes what finding value was like. I was trying so the month after he died because it had been two a years. He died of skin cancer so because it was two years of just awful stuff. This is turning into like a sick boy up so i mean you know what the two mark. Yes very related a lot of ways. They really are though they are. I mean sex death and money is like a whole podcast of its own is like their topics that they they weaved together gather. That is a podcast yeah. Yeah that's right. I wasn't sure if you knew that like if you just said i mean that's a that's a new genius podcast idea yeah yeah what is this. It's called sex death and money <hes>. It's called money sex and death. That's a good one. I think yeah so after the shock wore off because the first month. I'm just like well yeah. I don't have to be stressed about an awful phone call anymore yeah but then it transitioned transition to oh fuck. This is permanent. This sucks ass. We were in a relationship at the time or or seeing anyone. I wasn't <hes> my last relationship was like a little. It's one of those things that's like. We officially were dating for probably four like after the conversation stuff like that for like four months i think like in all honesty is probably closer to eight months to a year. We're still i still love her very much and we're still still in very close contact and are very good friends and stuff like that but i tried half-heartedly this year to kind of enter into the dating rural is just like i was faced face with way more anxiety than i was used to which was kind of like a pushback. We like maybe not is. Is there something thing about dating or getting close to somebody. That's like a trigger for grief. Yeah definitely because it's that i would have to basically re explain everything that any of my people close to me are up to speed on and there's a lot of things i really don't feel like redoing all of that and having to explain myself and like naturally. I'm just like a mistrustful person. I don't know on. I was just born that way interesting yeah. It's like it's not like there's any particularly bad trauma. My family life was always really good and stuff like that. I i second guess the law that's really interesting because i know kink needs. A lot of trust does require quite a bit of trust <hes>. There's an outlet for that. Yeah right hey do you have you run into that in in terms of like <hes> exploring kink in your own in your own life like you know do you do you you are. I mean regardless of who you are. There should always be a very solid amount of communication between yuna partner but also you know sometimes as you can do that with a very brand brand new partner <hes> like are you. Are you more inclined to only start dabbling into your kinks kinks with people who you have a very like a status jobless like deep relationship with not necessarily so i went to conference and martin hoped i also on the day i met them. I was like bite me bitch basically okay it really actually for me. It's more <hes> so i identify as queer slash bisexual so i think the thing definitely one of the things i figured lately <hes> i am a lot more at ease like ed yeah. I'm a little more at ease with women <hes> for you know the patriarchy yes so <hes> but also i've just found like there's a lot of gender differences this again. The researcher in me lake analyzes the fuck out of this of women i in my experience. At least i found cuna kate better. They'll check in a lot more. They won't assume things are okay and they'll kind of be more considerate about safety things. I mean one of my my first major. King partners was female and like she was very good at establishing communication safety and so forth he did things so she kind of set the bar really high ooh good <hes> i found sometimes in my experience man it's like i think a lot of it is product of how we raise men and stuff like that. I don't think it's necessarily surly always their fault in terms of just assuming and like going from zero to one hundred in terms of okay now we can do this where it's like. No you have to check in along the way away and kind of make sure dude in increments so that's definitely one thing i found and like obviously had i don't wanna get into too much like i've had my own experiences experiences anecdotally like with myself and with friends of just like men being shitheads subaru. There's a law that playing in where it's like is this going to be benign okay or is this going to be at worst abusive or at best like an ignorant douchebag right yeah so like definitely i did try a social experience back in february of dating apps and saying what i study mm-hmm and with after four days i can't take this because i can't because people would just like assume that you're some yeah some type of person like because they would immediately dive into like. I need to know what your kids are right now and you need to get to know me. I chris right. You're jumping the gun a lot. It'd be treated like a person for for so knew about talking about our sexual desires and our wants wants and needs and stuff that i think it's like we just don't have a gracefulness with it yellow. It's it's really hard like even myself. I find like their ties. Is i remember years. We're talking a couple of weeks ago. When like you're on a date with someone and like you know there's the sexual tension in the air and stuff like that just kinda stare awkwardly at each other and you're like how do we translate the transition to the fucking and i yeah just it's still like every now and then like this is still awkward goddamn. I i tried something new. I mean speaking but that i tried something new <hes> actually like a couple of nights ago and it worked really well and talk about it well i we were. We were chatting. We're having a great time and <hes> we were. I mean classic like i a we were talking a lot yeah and and we were hanging out for like you know extent extended period of time and then and then i just started like kind of i've i kind of like laughed for a second like suppressants. She's like what and i was like. I just i'm i classic me like like i just talked too much and she was like i. I should have kissed you while back but i just i just can't can't stop talking and she was like well. That's great and we went into it. It was it was like very late in my head when i did the no but yeah yeah it was like i just kind of just and i'm gonna. I'm gonna try that one a little more like maybe maybe evolve it a little more but the look at me just talking away learning so much lapping my lips. My lips lock glimpsed that i'm sure that it was just very specific. There's no one answer no one key now. It's gotta say as <hes> me <hes>. It's a lot easier i think probably for the the feminine in the in the situation ago so let's just get to it. You know it's a little less threatening than masculine going. I want this. You know yes but it's still it's still frightening. Even with a partner like it is a long term partner. It can still be quite frightening to be the one who initiates appreciates yeah. It's it's just it's weird because even in situations where it's like at this conference for example or if like she t- good on her because she turned to me and it was so awful awfully on later and i was like oh we've been flirting because every now and then i'm like notoriously obtuse picking up on it and right right yeah. I mean my one of my friends call. It being flirted on 'cause you don't you can't pick up on it. Just like it's happening at you but you're just sitting there like this might be flirting but i don't know you sir. I was gonna say that that might be that might be that great waited on your end to do it instead of going. We should flu around later. You know if if you've have you checked check xango wait. Am i being flirted on <hes>. You just say you know what i'm i'm horrible. I'm i'm actually i'm actually horrible picking survives. We're we're you flirting with me. I have no idea and then if i was you go oh well then shall we thanks. Hey i find it. A leg prime. I would say pretty heterosexual and i find it really hard to not assume that someone is women are so really really subtle harper and it was at a conference let so sometimes with my leg it depends on who it is but sometimes you know talking about my thesis topic like it's one of those things that's like. I don't want it to always be interpreted of like oh. I'm hitting on. You know it's like i'm just talking about what i do a fact of life but every now and then it can be kind of used for that and this was definitely an instance of that. This podcast is like that too yeah. She was talking about the podcast. I was like i i hope. They don't think that i'm just like using this as a yeah as a case to be like hey like. I'm fucking into sex and that's that's always that's one thing i've definitely noticed noticed about navigating the world like increasingly realizing that this is probably going to be like my life's work and i'm going to have to constantly explain to random people when they ask so what do you do. What do you study because i'm already like noticing. I have that duality when people ask you know what my thesis is of. I sit there and i'm like why do i give the sanitized version or do i say fuck. Fuck it right like instances where it's like a random like an uber driver or someone who have never see again. I usually just be like <hes> sexual orientation discrimination govt and then just leave it up sure or extended family extended family. I'm convinced some of them don't even know what it is. I would have to backtrack and that's just so like it's awkward enough off with my mom. How does your mom feel about it. <hes> she so. She asked me last night and she's like three. Gotta talk about this on this part like back my thesis next question. Oh yeah. I love her but they're still that part of me. That feels like i'm fourteen and she's going to tell me. I can't do things right right well. I realize i haven't grown out of that yeah. We're going to be like well. You can't do that way at twenty. Six and don't live at home can't tell me what to do that that also blue stemmed from catholic school totally catholic guilt totally totally totally and my mom you know mom hard right one of the where you are. What are you doing and make sure you're safe who you with. What are you studying in school. What are you studying at school every now and then. Can you tell me more about your thesis. I'm like i don't want to you know what though she's she's asking. No i know she's probably like probably daughters fucking cool yeah and and i i wanna be. I wish i was as cool and so i yeah i'll tell you that it's hard to not listen this podcast. Though i really don't wanna you know what's really funny we had a we had a a young woman on the show. Oh who came on the show to talk about like her her her kink laker fantasies yeah and her mom is also a fan of the show on on she it was like she don't want to listen to her but we got a before and after email from said mother right right the e mail before was like before. She didn't know that her daughter was coming on the show yet. She was just like my mom last night under the influence of like a gin and tonic nick because i was like oh i'm going awkwardly early downtown. 'cause i'm coming to your live. Show tonight and it's like it's kind of like. Why are you leaving the house at nine a._m. Oddly enough from your mom earlier today but this said mom of this of this other guest row to us afterwards and was like her mind was blown own and she was so proud of her daughter and so like she was grateful for the mom was actually like so. I know it wasn't supposed to listen but i listened to don't oh tell her you're both kind of like well like they're like hints along the way so for my graduation. My mom did the cutest thing ever. She got me. Oh the places you'll go by dr sues and i thought it was just the book wait it gets better and then they open it and notice there's messages written in it from lake elementary school teachers family friends friends like all these lovely messages throughout the book. I started like ugly crying really a locally crying cry right now. Yeah it was super sweet <hes> but then i get to one of my childhood friends michael wrote something like i'm sure you'll do wonderful people. I mean things and my on my mom. Did you read what michael wrote and she's like. I wasn't born yesterday caitlyn. I'm like oh. She knows i'm a slot. You are gonna love tonight. Show yeah i know i i think maybe okay spoilers. Ya <hes> yeah it has to do the book and our guest and a book that they're writing but anyway <hes> <hes> we'll talk about that tonight at the live show which if you're listening to this now over you missed it shame on you. I bet you feel bad. I bet you feel like you missed out. Now that you now you're hearing all of our juicy. Breadcrumbs were dropping. I mean you missed it but we're gonna put it up. Don't feel acceptable fucking fucking idiot. Oh god <hes> so once you get your thesis all written down yeah <hes> what's separate well. How much longer is the process from now until then. How <hes> so i i'm waiting to hear back from this that this fall is going to be super super busy <hes> so i'm like in the process of p._h._d. Applications which are really really really lake involved in lengthly and then also <hes> at least the editor approved my proposal for a chapter kind of on like would us talking about earlier with spanking okay okay. I'm gonna tell also rate that in february okay so what does that. What does that chapter. What's that gonna look like. That's going to be in an anthology so late like in a book like okay. You're going to write a chapter for a different book. This is not a part of it is an offer my thesis published. Can you give us a bit of a kind of a spoiler oiler of what that would look like kind of be focusing on what i was talking about of. How a lot of people in this community had like similar forms of media and so that kinda spurred their idea okay interest so like that's my main focus on kind of delving more into that <hes> spanking is is that considered i'd like a a mild bpm probably depends on how hard like descriptors they would give me of like the first so many of them it was like an end unto itself spank to the point of like tears yeah <hes> which is pretty intense having done it yeah <hes> so i don't know it's like more calm. I would say just judging by the fact that they're able to have like an entire community but i you got to look into this. 'cause i think banking might be something that would be considered a kink to in terms of my sexuality not because it's not something i'm looking for during the act of sex it actually i actually just find it quite calming and quite grounding rounding. That's feeling out of sorts yeah well. That's how a lot of people feel and that's like the other interesting thing they kind of go back and forth on with king being potentially a sexual orientation is there are a lot of practitioners who it's like. It's not necessarily sexual like there's not what we would defined. What most people define as conventional sex usually isn't taking place at all. There's a lot of people who it's like you know they have their kink play partners but they don't have have sex with them. They're not their romantic partners. There you know play partners and what have you and it's like it's an end to itself like there is no genital play or anything to who sola and there's quite a bit of that but then there's others who they want their king partners to be romantic partners as well yeah so there's a whole hoops spectrum this mike so phallic. I know i like it on your face is is what i do. I'm like anytime a guest comes into. Mike sue you need to sit goes to the microphone and i like to just feel it. Gently brushing my nose or my lip good lord. I don't know how many other people had their mouths on this thing but a lot a lot yeah. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that. It's mike inc. Don't judge me. All all jokes are just hold off <hes> well. I retain career. What are we going now. We talk a lot about kink and and we we have talked a lot about gang. We've talked to a lot of people about that. Particular aspect back gang cow. It's like not necessarily sexual and i'm i'm wondering like what's the future of of kink. Do you think in terms of our overall mental health and wellbeing. I think there is so one of <hes> colleagues is there's more work especially on like the therapeutic aspects of it so that's kind of exciting especially dealing with trauma dealing with chronic back. Pain is a big one. There's a lot of more work on people <hes> like. There's a i can't remember what his name was but there is a book and documentary. I think it was called supermasochist or something like that guy who i think had cystic fibrosis and he would with the artist was he was he a famous artist. I think so <hes> continue and just how he would use like extreme forms of mass because i'm a as a means to kind of deal with chronic pain <hes> and i know there's a lot of research on that so like i'm hoping there's a little bit more on lake therapeutic aspect bob flanagan yep. That's yeah and he was a he. It was a performance artist and writer numbers work on <hes> sado masochism and cystic fibrosis. Yeah he's <hes>. He's a pretty interesting cat. He died ride in ninety six at age ninety three or forty three three ninety three longest living c._f. Patient of all time no at <hes> forty-three yeah. I forgot about bob bob yeah. We're more. He was up to sorry <hes> continued like i'm hoping there's more of that. I think my main thing is just like the ability for it to be a little bit more visible and a little bit lessen the shadows yeah mostly for safety reasons because now with obviously dawn of the internet you know sites like fat life. There's a lot of misconceptions of people who don't really understand it. I think my definitely one concern. I always have is like with safety yeah because a lot of these activities and stuff like that you do need to i've been more versed in that kind of things which is why one of the arguments from <hes> <hes> someone else who studies this has called stacey newmar on basically kink being thought of as serious leisure because you usually have to invest and like it's kind of skill building and stuff like that which i can also kind of see that also being an aspect of it. You don't need to like take classes or get implements to be elizabeth in order to be gay or things like that you kind of just know whereas with king. It's like you usually do with a lot of kind of need a lot lake and that's the other aspect. I don't always like about how can be very commercialized. Yeah 'cause kinks stuff is so expensive <hes> and so are usually a lot of the clubs loves our as well like there's a lot of barriers for people like me who are poor starving student so it's like man i can't afford the like the memberships and so oh fourth or a law and they're usually at least an ottawa enforcing a law. The king clubs are in but fuck where <hes> that's one of the downsides or they're in like the sketchy part of town. Is there any <hes> research or like yeah there. Anybody is there any body of work that references weather like what what the king communities are like outside of like the middle class and upper class. I assume a progress but like what about vote like you said the barriers to access and i'm just thinking about of course like the safety is so important and if you don't have if you already are a vulnerable population relation like yeah like what you like what venues are there for those people who experiences a._n._c. sings in a safe way so that was definitely one of kind of my mission statement for my thesis is a lot of work that is done on communities and so forth and most like the can a marquee studies and so forth are like outsider research so that people who don't identify as kinky aren't really a part of the community city and they're coming in to research and the problem that i saw in a lot of the time they like really miss the point <hes> similar into how if someone who's not from a certain country kind of comes in as an anthropologist to research culture and is only there for a couple of years and it's a lot of it is kind of colored by their perceptions and like how they're raised and stuff like that and also i i honestly found some of the studies just like really unflattering during portrayals of just saying i know one of them was basically saying it's like all these people are like not attractive and kind of socially awkward. I guess all kinky people are just like like on the margins of society and like home uses it was harsh. I'm not even paraphrasing that much like i remember reading. Oh i've seen that out hyped i've seen that belief <unk> places for sure and <hes> and it's interesting that you say that because something that's i've been thinking about while you've been speaking <hes> <hes> is anybody will not anybody can do their masters but if you have a thing you wanna prove you you improve it yeah so that's something that's just something that's kind of standing out to me right now as well. If i have an opinion on something and i want it to be true then i'm gonna go out and i'm gonna be. That's what my research is going to prove and <hes> and then i have you know just as much education as you do and i get to say whatever i want about the thing yes so kind of my point with us because like obviously identify a little more of his an insider so i can have kind of community ties and so forth that i can pull on and kind of get a little bit because i specifically wanted to avoid interviews and things like commercial spaces so like king clubs and stuff like that because because most you know research and so forth has kind of focused on those very commercialized very public communities which have a lot of privilege privilege because then of course you're gonna find that everyone's like upper middle class and white basically <hes> and there's going to be a law and a lot of times we'll be cysts and kind of it'll be a very narrow view so when i set out to recruit i specifically want people who were not as much in those spaces and in a masters you don't have as much time to do it and you can only do so much by did find able to get people who are like closer to my age age younger. Maybe not as much in king clubs. I had to trans- participants which i thought was super important because i found their perspective on perceived discrimination discrimination very different because to them they were saying it was like honestly like with candidates. It's private. You can kind of hide it. I don't feel like i've been discriminated against for <hes> so i definitely wanted it to be less focused on the commercial aspect because i know even for myself. I'm like i can barely go in these places because it's too expensive expensive. What have you learned about the legal side of of like so the book what's the book called the book of the dea yeah the d._s._m. <hes> and if kings are pair phileas abnormal sexual interests orientational are listed in that book that means they're considered mental health yeah right so in terms of being of people's preference for king getting out and then being fired or you know that's not legal. Is it like you can't fire. Someone based on a mental health but you can but you can. I mean because people have been like we've had a number of sick boy episodes that we had to to not publish because because because people have recorded it and then they go. Actually you know what i just got offered this new job and i don't want this. I don't want to risk yeah my career yeah by putting the fact that i have m._s. or that i have that i struggled bipolar. Whatever yeah it's like. It's is not technically legal but as you find creative ways around it in the same way that it's not it's not legal to not hire yeah <hes> you know now based on gender or whatever but you walk into fucking boxes and the only way the deal they all look the same. They're all like they're all young attractive. Women and there's no men like serving your table or whatever i mean. I'm sure there's a guy that works at oxy's as like hey that's not. That's not me but like you know what i'm fucking talking about. You've been to those oh interesting choice of all of your staff. Looking of very particular way is is interesting and hiring processes with restaurants when they're like you can you you can optionally upload headshot and you're like <hes> see what's going on here. Technically we not legal but also they fucking fucking happen. It happens a law home and i mean for legally like i know <hes> c._b._c. The ideas did a really good <hes> radio special on a consent to harm laws unlike the juxtaposition that a lot of comparison is made between like d._s._m. I'm in lake boxing and other contact sports. How like technically those are exceptions and they're loud and like endorsed within society of like any eight like hockey m._m._a. and things like that but when it comes to be d._s._m. Especially like in terms of sex work. It's in this legal gray area because technically consent to harm laws. You can't consent to any physical harm. Especially the leaves marks so if someone gets bruise after a spanking. It's technically assault really yeah really. How does that not never sports or fighting. Doesn't i didn't like i think it's a societal like exception or there's something that that's like. Yes find those guys could have consented and have agreed to beat the shit out of each other in the ring. Whatever <hes> but if it's it's the only difference is because it's perceived as sexual or sex one that gets involved. It's like oh no. That's wrong so wild yeah. I mean i think when it comes to sports is there's you know there's a commission and there's like for for a long time. Enemy was illegal in new york. Yeah you know and but now now you know after after a long and hard fought battle by whatever the u._f._c. or or you know any of the the different like anime regulating bodies. There's a there's now you know if the fighters commission in new york and they go okay. We're gonna lift the ban you can come in. It's not illegal here anymore. <hes> so like i think there is like it. Maybe there's like the social thing but there's also definitely some like late legal. Yeah you know waiver signing tight there. It is like i'm not i'm not in law. Mike a little rusty on the actual who'll legal aspect of it. There's <hes> so you have t- who she's done a lot of work on it reading anything from like her name's brenda kaufman then she's spoken quite a bit about like consent to harm laws etc but from my understanding is like you can't consent to physical harm under canadian law <hes> so if anything you like with kink as said like it leaves a marketing thing like that it's basically councils assault technically which is really frightening being for anyone who does predom- or anything like that or even anyone in the dating world or so forth because if you think about it technically if someone if you've disgruntled acts they could theoretically turn around and be like actually this was sold which is terrifying and like i know some of my participants definitely spoke spoke to that saying it's like it's really scary because sometimes you do end up with someone who will actually just go back and say everything we did was not consensual. I have friends. I have one friend friend who she literally as a contract. I mean now whether that's whether that would ever hold up <hes> who fucking knows but like she's she's. She's like i'm not going to the unless you sign this thing. That's 'cause their contract late with. King specifically are <hes> i don't. I don't know if it's king specific. I think it's more more so that work. I just carried the paperwork with you everywhere you go. Let's bring nine this yeah it. It's a it's a weird and interesting world that you know that that we live in a special like especially with kink yes when it comes to kink it is it's still so taboo yeah. It's still so misunderstood a lot of people yeah. It's not it's totally you know. It's not necessarily that widely exp- even the idea of it accepted. You know we italy. You got a lot of work to do. Thanks guys. We start by getting these down. Well sort of that. They'll be come doctor here at some point hopefully well. We're coming up to time but <hes> <hes> when you do can across that that line. I would be really fun to have you back on okay. Let's uh-huh see where where where things have evolved and and where you're where you work leads you touch when i'm balls deepened my p._h._d. At least uh-huh well. Thanks thanks for setting this glad. I'm glad we can make this happen while we were in town and <hes> thank you so much for tuning and we hope you enjoyed it. <hes> we will be back next week as we always earth another great episode but in the meantime good apple podcast hit the subscribe button lever rating fever review say it every week mean it every week and if you want to support us otherwise there was you can go to patriot com slash termi on mad neat little doodads on there that you can check out. I mean maybe maybe by the time you're hearing. This will have recorded some <hes>. <hes> what was it <hes> knin nice in. If you wanna hear are those <hes> those erotic stories narrated by yours truly in going over there and sign up <hes> you can reach us at termi on podcast itchy mail dot com or visit our our website termi on podcast dot com and there there are ways to submit if you want to be a guest on the show or if you have a question. You'd like to answer <hes> that what is it for this week. We'd go fuck yourself <music> <music>.

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EP. 63 // Inside Tracker

Froning and Friends

1:02:12 hr | 1 year ago

EP. 63 // Inside Tracker

"The phony in France podcast is sponsored by renaissance period. Ization or our peace strength on Instagram. They've been helping me with my diet for the past few months to dial things in I get to eat more. I'm feeling great in the gym and recovering better. It's great to eat for performance with their help. Their best known for their RPI, diet templates would serve as a blueprint to helping you reach your fitness goals. Whether that's losing fat gaining muscle or improving performance in the gym, check them out on Instagram at our strength. Sewed sixty three. Inside tracker here. What's going on for having us? Thanks for having us. And we have Trist on the symbols symbols. That's enough. Maybe he's a future drummer. There's a future for sure we know that. Of something. But it's something trice NATO, right? Tries NATO tries, man. Trae sastre. Today right around pretty close to looking. He's like what? Instead what's that saying to me? So today when you guys were working out he was carrying the Fritos around. So I'm dumping don't amount on the floor. See trice trice kind of eats. What tries wants to eat wherever it is. And and so my first thought was okay throw all that away. Right because it's on the floor. And then I was like, nah, pick it up and put it back in the bag that the boy roles strings. Bush is the upper limit to the ten. Second rule doesn't exist to him. He's more like a maybe like thirty seven minute rule. He will have an immune system that is bulletproof in his life. Oh my gosh. Without question. I would say as long as it keeps them happy. But he seems like he's always happy. So the five percent of the time. He's happy. So he's not tired. He's pushing the upper limits of tired right now. He's a little nap. Like, I said, you can really tell when that left is starts going on in the left field. Cute. When he was real little hit a lazy eye, and then the the longer the older he gets it's kind of fixed it self, but you can tell whenever he gets tired. It's just like often completely. I just love how he loves you. And he must be around you, dude. The one will thing I'm freaking out. Yeah. You just picked him up, and he just takes off. He's excited to go. He lives right in that thing. Sure. Hillary loves to see that. I don't know if she's actually seeing that listen to this either. Do you guys have kids? I do I have one and a half and a three and a half year old, okay, t boys. So you understand. This reminds me of my second a lot. He's so happy super chill. They're both boys boys. My three and a half year old is such a diva. Since the moment he came out. Older daughter's that way. Yeah. She's she's fun. But she's the same way. Yeah. No kids from are you married to just got married months ago. How's it going? It's not too much different. I say. Still to still good. No, it's great. I love married life. Also. So long story short. We had inside tracker came in a lot. How long ago was it? And we wanted to bring them back and talk about our results in everything that happened. Well, they're still a lot to learn to you for everybody. I said also what the benefits are for everybody for sure. But for my first thought was do you have any crazy blood draws stories of like people just we couldn't get traded take blood? Well, Haley late. Held her while she was. Entails ya. I think we're you know, I've been with the company for almost two years. And they were there were definitely my worst worst experiences. Blood taken. Yeah. You know was panicked. A little bit late. I mean, it was kind of funny. The story that we had a lady local eighty that drew blood. She actually drew blood from me when I worked at the fire department. That is really funny. She was great too. She's awesome. I actually have a lot of people that rape before they get their blood drawn or they had just gotten their blood. John. They'll call and like it was wildly like unprepared. The night before I went out on a bender. A huge cheeseburger, wait before the blood draw and I had worked out like an hour before will affect my results. Yes. I just want to kind of summarize just what insight trekker is in an what people might use it for before. We're going to ask you some more questions about it. Sure. So really high level we are a healthy company. And we're looking at key biomarkers in your blood that are scientifically tied to performance overall, healthy and lunge vity, what's an example of like a biomarker for. So we look at. Lipids minerals. Vitamins and hormones, so we're going to look at your glucose, your triglycerides. So your cholesterol, an example of the vitamins and the hormones would be your testosterone or your as will look at b twelve we'll look at cortisol vitamin B a full CBC panel. So we're pretty much giving a really comprehensive look at what's going on inside your body. And then we'll create an actionable plan for you to incorporate different recommendations through foods supplements lifestyle changes that you can make in order to try to get those biomarkers that were analyzing into optimize zones for you. And those will be based on goals that you'll tell us that you have for yourself and certain characteristics that you're already doing how you live. How you eat. How you sleep how you train? Pretty cool. It's really giving you. I mean what we say. It's given you the inside look of to what actually is going on inside your body. How is your nutrition? I was your training house recovery actually affecting your day to day life. It's you're getting out black and white answer. You don't have to second. Guess you? Don't have to leave that up in the air. Wondering am I eating the right things is my training too hard? Can I push it harder thought dancers? Yes. On both of those. Snow's cool about mine too. Is that I'd had a blood test couple months before. And so I got to you can actually upload those results into it. So it was pretty cool to see the difference. Because I mean before then it wasn't intermittent fasting. And then to do the intermittent fasting was pretty cool to see just the difference in some of the stuff. Lot of it wasn't didn't change much. There were some things that changed. What did that change for you saucer own which I don't know if it's was how much training games like new baby at the house, whatever. But my testosterone jumped pretty good, my free testosterone is not great. But my actual just testosterone numbers of trying to look that up. But it was jumped like three or four hundred points, whatever. And then, but my free testosterone still not that great. We of talked about a little bit. The H BG is high. So that's something that most everybody at mayhem is paid attention to this was just kind of like a master's level of detail that was really valuable. Why thank you. I mean, if you look in the cross wits base in just sports in general, so many people are into the macro counting and things like that. Which is awesome. And it was just kind of another layer to add to the sports background. But this to me is really the highest level or Pitta me of like, if you're really if you're in your diet, and you're going to all these great links. Why would you not be looking in your to actually see because you can't be hitting your mattress every day? But if you're not if you're deficient in these certain things that you're still going to be suffering from a performance standpoint down the road and the Crespin industry as a whole is really a metoo industry. So if people are seeing that, you're. You're an accomplished athlete and you're taking the supplement. Or you're eating this way. You know, chances are they're going to like I need to take that supplement. I need to drive. You may not need to take all of those supplements. You can just dial it back to one or two single ingredients supplements like vitamin d if you're low or deficient in that area in incorporate certain foods that you made, you know, not be incorporating into your diet. Even if you know you really need though. So it is nice to take the guessing game out of the equation. And to be able to compare it for sure, right? What are your guys backgrounds? How did you guys get into inside tracker? So I come from more of a sports background. I played sports my entire life. I played tennis in college. And then right after college worked at ESPN, and then I worked for a nutrition company in international sales there fast forward a couple years. I moved to the verbs wanted to start building a family found cross it with my sister who actually works in the crossfire industry as well. And she said, you know, the CEO of inside tracker, which she had used the product. Before she said, he's looking for someone with sales experience has worked for nutrition company, and is cross fitter, and I would say. The loosest sense of the word kind of aligned so. Yeah. So that's how I found the company, and I would say ten years ago. If you asked me what my goals would be with inside tracker would have been performance based. But now that I'm getting older my goals are just to live longer. So I can be there for my kids and just be a healthier person. So it's been a really kind of like a soul searching and finding myself journey with the company. So I've been a lifelong athlete hockey player. My whole life always been into health, fitness. I played at a pretty high level through prep school in college. And then once that stopped I was kinda looking for that so competitive edge, or you know, the next thing that can kinda keep my competitive wheels turning and cross. It was a super easy in natural transition for that. My cousins got me into it. I was definitely skeptical at first with like, I think everybody is. And then I tried my first workout and from that moment on. Murph was my first workout. Sorry, say Murph was your was my first work. You're crazy. I was at the university gym. And my cousins were texting me, and they're like it was it was Memorial Day. We're doing this. This thing called Memorial Day Memorial Day, Murph. And that sounds pretty cool. What is it? And he told me what it was like, oh, I could easily run on the treadmill? Pull up art can do everything there. So I did that and the treadmill was on a different level. It was downstairs to go up and down the stairs. And I remember I was he told me what his time was. And of course, he had a vest on. I didn't wear best. So as if I can just be our I think, it's think it'll be okay. So I set the treadmill to a certain speed knowing that if I just keep the speed the hour, I almost passed out. I just didn't want to be that guy. Got shut off the end. Almost that guy today when? You guys very similar feeling. Actually would have applauded your efforts. Because you go that hard, and you fly off the back of a treadmill really given it you're getting invited. So I wish you the back of the treadmills morning. So you're. So that was that's like, my sport background and. I'm almost done with my PHD in -nology genetics field position to play hockey. Sorry backed up said what position did you play hockey events? Okay. Those defensemen didn't really have a headstone hands. Escape though, I was always one of the bigger guys. So. Slam the people into the walls most people. Office offense and defense and hockey other than the goalkeeper ignorance, right not to sound integrate. They have sticks and they go around with the puck and the goal. So no pun intended goal to achieve. People around the ice. How many? Kind of a trick question. But not really gonna say nine nine on one team. Yeah. Eighteen total not even close. Really? Five aside five and five, but then you have a goalie so hold on my guess, total Hafeer guests whose twelve but really only six people on you'll have five guys skating. Yeah. And the goalie usually two defensemen and three. Let's seems odd. And it gets pretty tight out there. Yeah. That's tough. Yeah. I what's the thing. When there's like, it seems like no one's on the other side in the one guy can like flick it and if it can like stroll across if it goes on the goal. He's gone. What does that the goal is an extra scare? So then you have six and then how come Huck ends up on the other and alone. And no one's to get many way that play. I think. Look. Just slow down the blue line on either end the centerline the blue line the puck if you're on offense. The puck has to go in before anybody can on offense on the blue line. The puck has to go in before anybody on offense can go inside there. And if the puck is inside that blue line and stays inside that blue line everybody on offense can be within that blue line. But if that goes over the blue line everybody has to clear out, and so what happens is you're trying to get if you pull the goalie you're going to put six people inside there. What happens is somebody will try to flick it over because there's no goalie and scored a goal. Anyway. That's like my favorite playing baseball is when the shortstop gets catches it on one foot and throws it too. I that's like my favorite if it makes it into the sickle. Hockey is your source is my sport. I've been doing cross for seven years while I was while I'm doing my PHD. And so just naturally inside tracker is almost a perfect combination of my science bathroom with my athletic with my background. It was a really really perfect. That's awesome. I love working with the athletes, and I can I can still kind of geek out a little bit on the science while still talking about performance. It's awesome. Would you say is in cross-fitters? What do you find to be the greatest deficiency? If there I mean that might be too general. What is there something that you often see so we can definitely I can cross out someone's name or cross out there at all? And you put one in front of me, you could probably I could say across athlete. Probably a lot of times. What we see is there overtraining markers. So creating kind as it's a muscle breakdown marker liver enzyme markers, which are also a sign of overtraining. Those are probably pretty high just Aastroem probably is going to be low at the same time your cortisol, which is stress hormone could be kind of high as well. You know, every workout is a pretty significant stress on the body high-intensity draining optimized, so which one is that is was high. There was one in the testosterone. I had one that was high one was low. Oh. Another thing. Interesting. Interestingly that we do see and maybe not so much anymore. But some of the nutrition markers, like your blood glucose might be off probably pretty high triglycerides might be pretty high because you know, I think that couple years ago people had the notion that you, especially if you cross cross fit you out Trina, bad diet. Yeah. Who's who's this? Job dumpster diet over there. So not so much anymore people. Everyone's really realizing how beneficial it is to track for nutrition and how much more of a competitive edge. That gets you is there any. Is there anything that you often see is deficiency? That's eas- that when fixed improves performance dramatically like is there like something? Like, I dunno say up just making it up. It was like vitamin d say you saw a lot of people deficient this. And you see people you can change that quickly. What we see a ton is glucose is high for people because. Yeah. And it's just comes down to. I feel like when paleo used to be very popular diet people got away from incorporating. Whatever I want. Yeah. So something that we literally tell everyone like eat oatmeal, just eat oatmeal. And that'll help you glucose in it's such an easy fix. And it's something that you can even if you have no time because that's what I've been doing. Imprint cereals. Anything that has a curious soluble fiber. And that's not going to just affect your glucose levels. But that's going to hit like we tell people oatmeal because it hits four or five different biomarkers to help improve your triglycerides, your cholesterol, HDL L the own that really hits it there. When I got my first blood test, my blood glucose was high and that was one of the things that I had a recommendation was eat oatmeal. So I started doing that. And I could definite- see a big difference in my training. I just have more energy. I always Trine usually at four or five in the afternoon. So I didn't feel sluggish coming into the gym a long does it take when you adjust something nutritionally to really see changes? You could probably see changes like a month out. We really say because you have to figure it takes time to implement those recommendations and then once they're implemented at a consistent basis than it takes time to see that in your blood. So we would never recommend anyone getting their blood work done sooner than maybe two or three months. Two months at the absolute earliest, probably right there anything that. We was there anything that. We gave you that. You started implementing that you could feel a difference with maybe not nutritionally, but supplement wise are stored the back strap molasses that was. No. That was who was that vision? Kristen. Did you do whatever? So gross was high country coaches make all the runners do that. Because there are so many. Yeah. Your blood? I started eating Chia seeds in oatmeal. And the other big one was the magnesium for recovery when we talked about that new gave me that brand of magnesium that you'll use. And then I started helps me sleep and recover better. I started using it eating it eating in the evening time that was one of the recommendations, I was taking it at the wrong time. So to optimize use it on an empty stomach in the evening time are most things. So when you're looking at these markers and things are most of the things that you guys suggested people nutritional or are there other? I mean, they just mentioned supplements. Are there things like that? Are there more drastic things? Or is it just usually? I mean, I noticed a lot of this. You guys give the foods to try and things like that. But is that your primary Goto I would say what like seventy five percent of our recommendations are probably nutritional based the they definitely have the most research backs backing those recommendations, they're probably some of the easiest ones to implement. But if you did scroll down like if you get your results, and you see like the top three or four recommendations if you were to expand that and you can scroll down the other ones you will start. Seeing things of altering your your training style. Which like when we deal with high competitive athletes, that's a really hard one for them to change, you know, like for them to change their training or or implement extra rest days like chances are they're not going to do that. So we do definitely focus on the nutritional ones, but there's other lifestyle factors that that we give recommendations for to one of the things I really appreciated was I mean, their their goals and cross bitter way different than mine trying to be trying to win a world championship. And I'm just trying to I'm just saying. I'm just trying to stay fish. I stay alive. Stay live. It's about it's about health and lifestyle in in. So, you know, you're able to take that person's goals, you know, and implement it and make it specific to who. They are. Yeah. And we take into consideration. Like you said what your goals are? And then your nutrition lifestyle how you're eating ready. And if you're willing to take supplements what supplements yard be taking. So that if we are giving you recommendations, they're not going to be a repeat of what you're already doing. And they're not going to be. I'm useful to you. If you're trying to eat in a certain way, so we really try to make it or cater it to make it make sure it's personalized to what you have going on in your life. And what you're looking for the cool thing about the supplement recommendations are for things like white in D, like we know that really the only way you can increase your vitamin d levels is to get more. Sunlight, and and for someone who lives in the northeast, you know, you're inside for the majority of the year, even or even if you're living in the south. When you have a desk job, you're inside. So when we give the supplement mundane based on your bloodwork and based on your current nutrition. We actually give you the exact dose that you need to take to to optimize values. So that's really useful. That's awesome. What were some of the things that you on yours? So we're I think. I had I had really been paying attention to my blood work and something I had been really paying attention to. So I wasn't really surprised about anything overall other than the details. Like, we talked about some of the recommendations glucose was one of the things that was high. And so I was able to start eating a little bit different implementing that. And then the recovery piece was the big piece for me. So remember, I had just got over the RAB dothan. Time for one test. He you're like a different human being now. No push. The key looks different than the last time. We told him when he walked in. I was like, wow. Jim a weird way. It was like, wow. Jim looks like we might have aged Becker. We need to get into that a little bit later. The inner age we need to talk about that. We'll get to that old. So I had just got cleared, and I was getting ready to take some more gets more blood work done, and then they came. So that was really good timing. And I'm interested in my hormone levels. So that was important to me to have to understand what that was and the pay attention to that. And then just the details recovery. Details work super important to me. So I don't know for me. It was some of it just confirmed. What was going on? The whole internet thing really threw me. I thought for sure I would cross all of you. Or were you on ninety three or something? Swing twenty ways in one direction the best that we've seen is Dave hip and steel he's his biomarkers are always out of control for. Mousters? He's always an unbelievable shape. But his was I think is eighteen years younger than he is. He's sixty three. And I thought honestly I like doing it. I was like man mine is going to be the worst of all these guys were younger like half a year younger. It's like a year younger and nine or ten. Nine or ten years older who talks about how great these different accident says she takes parabens. Fifty seven forty. No. I just started taking Jim termi onto these like mushrooms. Let's. That's true. That's true. That's not one of our. Sidetracked. What they say in what Jim says different. Mushrooms today self I'm not a superhero by the end of the week. I'm going to be Jewish rooms. What has taken shrew? For us. There was this kind of a. What's the name of the company? Stig matic. Stick force Matic. They have a coffee like a macho copy that has some mushroom stuff in it. That's supposed to help with lion's mane. Lion's mane is kind of mushroom. Has no or like doing inside trafficking of animals. That. Taking the only do need any help being super weird with that. No, I wouldn't do anything. Honestly, I was just doing what I'm doing. She's down the rabbit hole. I wasn't going to do the lion's mane thing because I don't need to peers real lion's mane just before we have. The mushroom. Come clear about what we're talking about these understand. I've actually never heard of. Before four Stig Matic is like sigma. It's. Like. Or I can look it up. I have the computer they're all their products are some sort of mushroom based product, and they so they do coffee lion's mane fungus. They they do coffee tea, and then they have some like. Four sigmatic. What's that? What's that product? What's that product called? It's kind of like a mind clarity product, right? What's called you? Have it up on the oh, there's I don't remember what it's called on on. It has alphabrain Brown. A brain. Okay. So basically, it's there it's another SuperFood. Type thing says you're saying like these certain food that will die in a year. Memory. So I did the saying this adapted Jin Moscow national gone done. Something else are deputy. So I got that blend along with this. That's just like supposed to be overall. And it's teaspoon. So you just mix it into anything. So I mixed one with like, my super greens. And that's fine. It's still tastes like dirt. Water don't taste good. Some of my coffee at lunch. And I'm like, I asked KM when like him can I just put this in here, it'll taste bench. She's like, yeah. It'll be fine awful turned around. I was like. Good spam. Lines may protect against dementia. Reduce mild mild symptoms, anxiety, depression, help repair nerve damage. It also has strong anti inflammatory antioxidant immune boosting abilities has been shown to lower risk for disease cancer ulcers taking. Taking. Mandible? Yes, I'm an animal. Very important to note that our recommendations. Years. Mushers track. Channels with dementia. It does I don't know crazy mouth she injected. See what happens apparant until wall and try to run off a bluff, so maybe lion's mane, and we get down that road. So sorry. I know I apologize. I need that. I need that. I would can we go through some of this test. And just maybe you guys give us some insight on I would love to just kind of we can compare who's better at on this chest. I didn't bring my I didn't even think. Sorry, ask you to print it out. But I'm sorry. You can pull it up. If you want to pull it up. I don't really want. Okay. So the first one on there is the sugar group metabolism and energy. I'm just gonna let you do it. If you want to I mean, we don't have to go. So this is kind of like what if Jimmy's doing consult, this is pretty much how it goes. Anyways. You just go through the biomarkers Jimmy. We don't mean me. Just do this. Oh, yeah. But I want to understand I want. Each of these has your numbers as grain if it's good or read if it's bad in a yellow if it's moderate or whatever. So I actually do I like looking at the groups because it's your essentially grouping several biomarkers that are all involved in the same physiological process or they could all be obviously group together. And it gives you a quick glance of that group as a whole instead of going. You don't have to go individually biomarker by biomarker, some people love to do that, you know, to geek out on the numbers other people just like looking at their overall like where they stand overall in their groups. So yes, oh, you're sugar group. That's going to have obviously your your blood glucose levels. Mine says needs to work. So you're saying eat oatmeal. Yeah. So you can see I know like we're on camera here in they can't actually see it. But. You're gonna have your actual biomarker result. That's going to be on the left, and then on the right is going to be your recommendations all the food base base ones that we do, and it's actually going to give you the specific foods that you can implement in your diet that will have an effect on that particular biomarker. So enrich said green yellow red. He was talking about where you're biomarkers fall in relation to a graph red. Meaning you're at risk. Call your doctor yellow meaning needs work. So here's the recommendations that we're going to give you in green means, you're demised. So these optimized owns that we create for you. We're going to be different than a normal zone that you would get from your doctor just because you're normal Dona doctor is going to be the same as a sixty five year old lady who may not get off the couch. So we've created the zones we take into consideration the characteristics that you've told us about yourself age ethnicity. Again, how you eat. How you live. How you train and what your goals are? So. Yeah. So that Kerry said that yellow that yellow range, that's the clinical the clinical range that any physician us. So if you get your number your doctor, and you never get a callback because everything's normal. You fall somewhere within that yellow zone. But we take it a step further in we're going to say, well, that's okay. But we can get better for you. So when you see here like your sugar group, it needs work that's taking into account all the biomarkers that are in the sugar group. So you could have for example. It's not that. I not that. What four mine was. I just actually to that earlier. I think it was eighty nine. Seventy nine pre-test L. Eighty two is mine closures. Still pretty good. Pages are kind of cut off the fine witchcraft corresponds to glucose that was eighty two. Gotcha lipid group. These have metabolism in weight control in our. It's just up. Okay. Yeah. That's cool. So how so what did we shall we started with sugar group? So overall, you're sugar group. It says you that needs work. So then if we flip the page, and we're that sugar group has your fasting glucose levels. It looks like we have right under that is your lipid group. So your lipids are going to have your LDL cholesterol, your HDL, cholesterol, your total cholesterol. So even like your lipid group is a little high as well. So that's taking into account. Why do I have I see here that your LDL, which is considered the the bad cholesterol? L deals a little high. You need some oatmeal. Hi, this kale. I don't know. I think the mushrooms are going to heal it. Yeah. Are your LIPA tie? Why are yours? Hi. Didn't eat enough. Open. On the test before I was one twenty six and this current test was one forty two. And I was actually eating a lot more oats and stuff like that on the first. So I'm interested to see if I do other test because I have been trying to eat a little bit more. That's often. See it lowers. But my was one forty two on this last one. So it's high it's call to when you take these tests and. Your next test will be another snapshot in. The comparison you're gonna be down my triglycerides went from ninety five to seventy nine on this list so window, and you can make a little notation of what was going on in your life. So like, oh at that time, I was like either training super hard or it was very stressful time in my life like that can make a difference in. Hormones of right. So if we look at like, your liver group, your liver enzyme group overall again that says it needs some work. It's it's yellow I guess I'm not trying to pick on. I'm just going by paper. That's taking into account that you're a OT is high. Is pretty good. And that's one where if you were alcoholic that. Actually like for for liberty. Alcohol. It will. GT's messed up ratio between I think ESPN Giudici, which is how a doctor would say. But you're is a little high your ST is high. What does that mean? So these are your liver. Enzymes anytime that your liver is taxed I guess or your liver's working hard has to produce a lot. Lot more enzymes to do its function AST and AOL tea are also found in your muscle cells to so when you break those down it can Leach out into your bloodstream, and it will be detected by test. So I'm going to say I haven't looked at your creating Tiny's which it's a little high. It's not too bad. But you can say that maybe maybe the day before you had a print intense with the conversation with hey, we're gonna run they say, maybe we should go light today. Well, that's good. That's. At least you didn't go on the bender the night before in a huge. If Donald figured it was best to see what our body, actually. That's great. I worked out hard. You looked up pretty hard. Okay. Are you looking at the the liver function and talk society of LT. Hobie Mun AST GT out. What's your ASC? That's not. Thirty four thirty four. What patriots? Mine was thirty one. So you worked out even harder than I did. Now, the values actual the number value is going to be different for a man versus for on. So. Yeah. So I even tell a lot of people like maybe don't focus so much on the number. You don't really have to focus on the number because our graphs make sense of it for you. Okay. So yet. Okay. So I just have to remember. I've good GT. Totally. Okay. So creeds doesn't mean that you should drink more. Doesn't give an excuse. There is river fill in red wine. Which is what I'm saying? So I state. Australian is optimized in a lot of people think that you know, only men should be conserved should be interested in test Ostrom, but it's just as important for women to especially female athletes. So that was that's very good. You're s h ok sorry. Can you explain that? Yeah. So is the perfect. Okay. So S H G is your it's called sex hormone, binding globulin. We don't have to worry about what that scientific Russia. But essentially the way that testosterone for like, Richard. We're talking about your free testosterone the way works for a man is your testosterone is either going to be free more. It's going to be bound to a protein that transports it throughout the body. So S H G is one of those carrier proteins. Your testosterone level is going to be literally the total amount testosterone in your body. So it could be either free or could be bound so total is is the whole picture. And then you're free testosterone is what's bioavailable or what can be active if it's bound to a protein that's being transported at the body. Can't be used for its anabolic functions. Building muscle in increase in Europe. Every so if your total testosterone is optimized, but if enrich said his free testosterone was low most likely, you're S H B is high. So I went I had free testosterone pre-test was four fifty eight this test was eight ninety six Gs however by HP g went from sixty to one seventy seven right. So we do know that really high bouts of high-intensity invol- training or a really tough workout will increase your S H BG levels that causes all the testosterone. In your body to be bound to that carrier protein. So so you're you're total testosterone remains the same. It remains optimized, but now we have a difference in the ratio of free testosterone versus bound testosterone. And for women we look at D H E S, which is the precursor to testosterone or estrogen. It's DJ S. I did learn however about the S H B g that parabens in like shampoo and things like that. That's why told you if you don't pay attention to the stuff. No, you use that gets bound up by that. They it was some study that they did on a football team that they all had really low testosterone. And they found out that it was because of all they were all using the same shampoo in the locker rooms, and it was binding up there. I'm going to mess up the increasing their levels and turn that binds up all your free testosterone. So yeah. So that's why you know, these groups like we said before like, it's. Cool to look at the group as a whole, but you get even more information when you dive in biomarker to biomarker because if we just looked at your total testosterone on. That's really cool. But you might not have like in your case, your DJ S was a little low in most likely, and like we saw your SHP Jew was high. So you don't have as much of that hormone bile available to be used for the purpose that needs. Awesome. And you know, it's it's cool to see this is the first time. I'm like really seeing results laid out in front of me. But we saw the liver. Enzymes were a little bit of a little bit high S H G was high Hortas all is also on the higher side. It's not optimized it's not terrible. But so you're kind of seeing a trend here. Like, all these markers are everything. That's is that your training just killing you in here. Yeah. So maybe like like you said like the day before you had an intense string session. Well, these biomarkers are telling me exactly that. So if you didn't tell me that I probably would have came to you and said, hey, so what's your training like the past week like, we're recovering. So this is where we tell and it's sometimes hard to talk to athletes or athletes this, but you know, recipes are important. Whether it's a complete rest day or an active recovery day or you get out of the gym. And you go do something else do yoga like those are important that's going to allow these biomarkers to to become optimize. And it's only gonna give you more energy. Or it's only going to put you in a better place going into the next day of training or into a competition. So let's like we we recommend like for for you guys. Like if you get tested like a week or two before the games are are we to before a Sanctional event? So that's going to give you enough time to implement some quick changes. If you need to give a couple of weeks. But now, you know, exactly how you guys are how your body's are going into a really important event, and to Jim's point with all of the mindset work that he does we're starting to look at incorporating more recommendations for lifestyle with the mindset approach just because it is so important. Yeah. So like for cortisol. I it's I think everyone knows like cortisol. We're not just talking about physical stress here that can be emotional stresses. Well, yes. So it can be both like cortisol level your cortisol levels will go up if you have stress or increase stress on your body, but that stress can come from physical stress. Like, I would say this is probably physical stress looking at your liver. Enzymes looking at your CK levels, your hormone levels. But if for example, if we have someone client that comes to us and those physical stress markers, like your hormone levels your liver. Enzymes those are all normal but your cortisol through the roof. I'm going to say man, you need lacks back. What's going on in your life that's causing causing this like are you getting enough sleep because cortisol is the first thing to go up when you lose sleep. And we see the cortisol has shoot up and testosterone gonna Plummer up. I think for me when I first started doing blood work that was this was exactly what the doctor told me because I was in space, and it'd be tuna half years ago where I was super stressed out. But I didn't I didn't even know. I thought I was doing fine. I don't feel stressed out. We talking about kind of thing, and he was able to use some of the book and tell me exactly what you just said. Like, yeah. What's going on here? Lifeless day little bit deeper because it's not something physical were dealing. What else is happening, and I was under a ton of breast stress and emotional stuff, and that was important, and it works the other way too. When I first got one of my my personal test on I felt like I was extremely stressed. Like, I think it was maybe right before the open started a couple years ago. So like, I was kinda stressed about that I had a lot going on at work a lot going on in my lab. So I felt very stressed. But then I got my blood. Worth back in my cortisol is optimized so it can go both ways. Like, oh, maybe I'm not as stressed as I am. It's also the perception of it. So that's why like knowing this. You know, seeing it on paper. Now. Now, I have a good. I have I have an idea of what's going on inside my body, and I might not be doing bad as as I feel. Well, that is big. That's really big the stress information, inflammation levels are really good surprising giving how much we work out. I thought everyone was just walking around inflamed. So we actually did this really interesting study where we took twelve hundred cross-fitters that are in our database. We compared them to the rest of the people who have done inside track in our database, and we have a lot of fit people who are in database. We have a lot of professional athletes a lot of endurance. And we found that cross-fitters were generally more healthy than the rest of the population who has done inside track. And there are you looking at the overall marker of inflammation. You just you're so we so that was lower across bidders. The LBL was lower HDL was hired triglycerides were lower. So it was just so interesting to see that cross-fitters doing what we're doing or impact way. Good way is is a global inflammation marker in your body. So basically, what is the overall level of inflammation body? It's pretty it's pretty simple way to look at that. So we do know that participating in regular exercise will help lower those inflammation levels. So the other markers that we looked at your liver enzyme CK, your your sex hormones, those could kind of be more local, I guess more local look of exactly like how your body is handling the day to day dresses of your training. But HSEN takes a lot more time to change overtime. But overall, your body is in a optimize state in terms of inflammation. And then even to turn the page. The next ones we look at this is like the CBC complete what cell count. So these are looking at your white blood cells, those are the cells of your immune system, and they even go into depth of the actual specific types of white blood cells. Mine rob demised, h CRP actually dropped from point six two point three between tests. So it was optimized yet says the might total neutral fills was twenty four hundred is optimizes us. So when we look at your white blood cell counts. This would be a great marker of like, if you were sick view, if you had a cold or something like that we could see that in your white blood cell count. 'cause you're in your immune cells are activated. There's probably more of them in your body. Trying to fight off whatever infection that you have. Yeah. So that's that's cool. That's cool. The sea any glaring things that come out of that. That would be more of what you need to consult your physician about that. If we see like, plummeting levels of of white blood cells or or something like that where it really really high levels that's high. That's the an e o Sino fill is. That is part of your. You're a neat innate immune response. So if you have any type of virus, it's like one of the first responder cells to encounter that by us into attack. It why that's high that wasn't about to get a cold. Yeah. That one I don't know because all your other flew the next day. One. That's an interesting one because all your other white blood cells are perfectly optimized every single one except that one. So I'm pretty sure you need to see a doctor Tim silver treatment nation. So I know it looks bad because I'm the expert in in the immune system. But yeah, I can't answer why that single one is high. But every other one is for what was it which precursor for? Yeah. What was your is seen officials is it one thirty? It's a precursors optimal. No, it's just a just another type of white blood cell another type of immune cell in your body. But they would be heightened if you were if you're sick. But I wouldn't say that you were sick because every other immune cell is perfectly optimized, so maybe that's maybe I don't know you're an anomaly isn't bad too high unicorn. Or your free. Just can't. I'll take jokes. I know that fills are not they're not very abundant white blood cell in your body. There's very very few of them. They're involved in the allergic response of you had an allergy to something. So that is weird. Sorry. I can't Helen. Still on those. Okay. So now, we're into some of the vitamins vitamin d is it's optimized, but it's just on the low levels of being optimized, so I think. So you probably wouldn't get a recommendation to supplement that because it's often missed. But you know, I would it would be interesting to see like when you test again. Like is it still right on that that line or did that increase? Important is involved in so many things so many different processes new body. It's involved in calcium uptake, so strong bones. It's really involved in creating healthy immune system again. I like to take my vitamin d at night because if item indeed is a precursor to well, it's a high level precursor to alternately melatonin, which makes you sleep or indicates or initiates your natural sleep rhythm article told you not wear sunscreen. That's not true. He says at sunscreen gives you cancer article that I read said likelihood of you getting cancer versus heart disease because lack of vitamin d is worth because we don't most of us are only out in the sun for three or four months tops yet. You're not gonna get skin unless you're just like getting completely sunburned baked every single day you need the vitamin d versus the amounts of skin. There's an article that I read, but I sent it to them and she freaked out because she's all hippie about just protect my skin. I'm a hippie about skin care. So like vitamin d like in terms of the sleep. That's such a good tone. Supplement vitamin d supplement three days ago. I started an Niagara ham. I don't even know why I read something about it. And I was like well. Okay. Perfect. Well, trying things lines main. Yep. De scoops mushroom and vitamin d have been. So I should do that though. Right. I would like to see like where your your levels are at now like is it still riding that low line, or, you know, just be interesting to see where they are because you wouldn't get a recommendation in this case because it's the mice might be low. But it's. Optimize, forty or sunscreen. We get into twelve that's involved in cell production. So especially red blood cells, you need vitamin b twelve to produce red blood cells that's optimized as your b twelve. I feel like rich at a lot of optimized biomarkers which I was secretly hoping it was going to be a little bit. Like give me some red. The only real one had that was way off was all my my HDL L, my LDL, mainly my total cholesterol. That was my real read stuff mostly of green. When I went to prayers off, I laughed out loud because it was like your foods guest. Cuttlefish snails, and I was like go. Oh. Up under for what for what biomarkers? For. Both. You you can switch those out disclaim could get recommendations for things that you are definitely not gonna make like I had one for cuttlefish. And I. Microwaving a lot of food and my husband. So I switched that one out. So. And then we kinda rep up your with your electrolyte levels, sodium, potassium, magnesium all optimized, those are all very good. Let's see which ones are in the red was or anything on there for you. That was like glaring. That was like I'm not seeing anything glaring other than that Yosano figure that out of. Yeah. Choice took a couple of months. I just have highlight ones. I'm like, I said the red M. My C was read what's that? It's an oxygen transfer and blood function MCV. It's mean, corpus killer volume. So how big your red blood cells? Yeah. Says minor too big. Ninety two is the range ones ninety seven so the size. I'm not super solid on the so much that goes into red blood cell production and iron metabolism. But your red blood cells are some of the fastest cells that are producing your body, and they rapidly die. I can't wait so richest testosterone w huge red blood. But what was the total number of red blood cells normal members that. L red bliss on the the end without. So on. Okay. So point six to six point one says that makes sense. So like, I said red blood cells turnover very fast. So if you have an optimized turn red blood cell turnover and they're being produced diet at an optimized rate, they really don't have an opportunity to get big. So you have a low used as you have a little bit of a low level of red blood cells, so red blood cell turnover could be happening or could be happening faster than it is right? So they're they're growing too big. They're not dying fast enough because there's not being there's not more being produced at a. Yeah. As far as yellow was Myron was yellow my fair. Tin was yellow. T percentages yellow. Let's TES percentage that your transference such ration-. So so like, we talked about SHP, gee, that's a carrier protein for the sex hormones transferring is a carrier protein for iron. Yeah. So iron iron is super important for your body. It is a or it's it's really critical and and making hemoglobin he Hiba Goldman carries all the oxygen in your blood cells all throughout your body. So if you don't have enough iron or your iron levels are low. You're not gonna have enough hemoglobin transport all that option throughout your body. So it's very similar to what we talked about with SHP. Gee, if transferring levels are really really high, it's most likely going to be binding all that iron. So I am not going to be available to be used to make human Golden Globe. And also in there as well. So you're going to get, you know, just like we see free testosterone. You'll see like is is that exactly what's going on. Yeah. Especially women. We see a lot of low iron levels. Come back. Mom, and one of yours is ferret in which is which is low Ellis, your mine was not optimal. Okay. Yeah. So that's your iron stores. And we see that, you know, come back and people who have that low level will say, I'm not feeling I just don't have any energy. So it's nice to get that level back in in to understand. Why? I mean, I feel like most of these this is huge if you can, you know, adjust these things, and it's less we're going to see like a major output changing the gym. No if you optimize and yours are pretty good. But you know, if you optimize. Those red blood cell levels. You're going to see an increase in energy. You're probably see an increase of endurance in your workout to be able to go longer. So. Yeah. So why did you guys choose or why were the the biomarkers for inter age chosen to be the one that indicate that? Yes. So those are five biomarkers your inner age. I it's your blood glucose levels, your AOL, t it's testosterone. Triglycerides, Dale T H E R P in vitamin right, entre paean, vitamin d so those are all those are five proven biomarkers with backed up by tons of scientific research that show has an effect on longevity. So if we're optimizing those biomarkers chances are longevity is going to be increased for you, so biologically, you're younger. So that's and that's how it works. And we just inside tracker just package that nice with it. They put it through a computer algorithm, and it spits out a nice easy number that you can look at compare your inner age to your chronological age. And it's it's kind of a fun tool to will as you guys as you guys not, you know, compare with your friends, and I'm gonna have to change. Should we re-test all the stuffing? We say between if you do the ultimate test. We say every four months. Every four to six months computer with selling me like we were supposed to do it in a couple days from now. And that was the perfect time zone. Yeah. I mean, it depends. What's going on in your life? But we say four to six months, and that will give inadequate amount of time to see your biomarkers move. If you're using the recommendations that we're giving you. In just to see them. You know, move at all if he wanted your next snapshot, you should be able to see a difference in you know, what you saw before if people just listened that want to do this. They just go inside tracker dot com, and they would they there's different levels, obviously. So what's optimal for them? I guess. Yeah. So we I mean, you can talk to anyone at inside tracker. But what your goals are? And then we'll help you decide what plan really works best for you. The alternate plan, which is the one that you guys went through analyzes these forty two biomarkers. And if it if you have the means to do it, and it makes sense than recommend that one one hundred percent just because he won. Yeah. You get the greater baseline look at what's really going on. We have plans that focus more on performance and recovery markers. We have which is high-performance. We have another plan called essentials, which just gives a greater look at kind of your overall health, but with less biomarkers, and then we do have that inner age plan. So if you're main goal is, you know to live longer, and you want to try to turn back the hands of time logically re-test, every three months or so then, you know, maybe in arranges the one for you. But we're more than happy to are happy to steer you in the right direction because everyone's different. So. Thanks for having us. What for to the re-test with? We'll have to test again. And then have you guys back and figure it out? See what we screwed up. What we got right back on the air runner. And hopefully. That last interval where we sprint or sprint. I headed up to a so I really leaned into the machine and it got up so fast. And I was like I'm gonna fly. Yup. Down the trough trying to convince a music comeback to a train with rich workout that was more of a pacing workouts? You guys did you know that wouldn't really I wanna see him get after. I want to see him. Let's put him in something where he's just has to go to work to pour concrete, Pat. Oh back to so bring some roller. Also, I'm not shy of going into the pink. Nineteen point two was one that I want to forget. With the way I felt after that we're so. So. Guys. Thanks, guys dot com. Thanks or strength. And try these.

testosterone cortisol Jim termi ESPN cross-fitters hockey NATO Trae sastre Trist France Bush Hillary Haley AOL rape
An Affection Multiplier | With Zachary Quinto

Modern Love

20:36 min | 1 year ago

An Affection Multiplier | With Zachary Quinto

"Modern love the podcast supported by xfinity. Now you can get enhanced security for your home wifi network with xfinity X fi. If it's connected it's protected now. That's simple easy. Awesome. Good xfinity dot com. Call one eight hundred xfinity or visit a store today to learn more restrictions apply. Need to unwind a bit kind world is here? Termi- job at all. That's good with the world with stories about transformative acts of kindness. Tune into new episodes, every Tuesday to add some positivity to your life. Subscribe, now on apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Produced by the island at WB. You are Boston. From the New York Times, and WBU are Boston. This is modern law. Stories of love loss and redemption. I'm your host. Meghna chakrabarti. Bob Morris used to be a self-described curmudgeon and dog skeptic. But a miniature dachshund changed all that. Bob writes about it in his essay, an affection multiplier with four feet and a wet nose Zachary. Quinto reads. This week's essay he's known for playing Spock in Star Trek. And he starring now in AMC's knows for to. The nine pound longhaired miniature dachshund at the animal shelter wasn't the kind of dob. I imagined walking in Manhattan. She was a little lapdog and a cliche too, small for someone is insecure and image conscious as me. And her name was Zoe too cutesy? I put a deposit down on her anyway. A form to fill out asked, why do you wanna talk, the answer should have been simple, companionship, but it was more complicated than that? I always swore. I'd never get a dog. In fact, at spent the first half of my life as a dog denigrating. Why haven't needy Pat, with so many needy people in the world? One divorced friend has spent the last six years lounging around to intimately with slobbering, golden retriever, who is devoted to her as her ex was not another single woman. I know thinks that if her multi snaps it someone she's dating. He's probably not right for her. Talk about snap judgments I once had a date with a handsome man, and his hands and Portuguese water dog who were so interested in each other. They paid no attention to me. You don't understand friend said dogs are all about unconditional love. Okay. But what about earned love and common sense? When I first met IRA, who would become my spouse, he owned, or perhaps, I should say, was owned by a beloved Karen terrier that would lunge and bite whenever we tried to leave him and would refuse to go out for walks because he hated the noisy city streets with a push for me. I refined put the dog into a carrier, bag and flew him off to a better life with a loving, stay at home owner in a quieter leafier city. For several years. It was just the two of us in our white and a septic apartment living our pet free and child free lives of stylish travel, creative careers and limited family responsibility. Not that I wrote wasn't a handful zone. He was often so vulnerable voluble and shall I say, doggedly affectionate, that it scared me? When I started saying, I wanna dog it was half ingest, but it became more serious as I coud dogs on the sidewalk Beagles in particular while Irish shook his head. You have a limited amount of fiction to give he said without irony. If we get a dog all your fiction will go to him, and there won't be any left for me. Maybe he was right. I've always made it a goal to not be too needed, even by aging mother and father. But last winter was a tough one after my parents deaths, I've been in conflict with my brother, and I was facing daunting, tax and career troubles. Ira was troubled to. Maybe a dog would change things or at least juris up. But the question did come into my head was there something lacking in our lives as a couple that I wanted a dog to fulfill. It's common enough for the presence of a baby to change the dynamic of a marriage coulda dog do the same thing. And then there was IRA's issue, which I couldn't shake did I have enough fiction for both him and a dog. In the spring, we started visiting animal shelters, but there was only one breed. I imagined. Owning a beagle. And there weren't any available. So I started looking online also in vain. The day in may after I reluctantly put down a deposit for the mini dachshund. I was tortured with recrimination. Why couldn't I make myself want her? Is the problem. I r- asked you don't think you can care for dog. She's just not the dog. I imagined losing my freedom for I wailed like freaked out groom before his wedding night. She's too small. She's just to gay. I was sitting at my computer in a cold sweat searching for Beagles with guilt of a porn addict. Ira was disgusted. You just want something you think is cute. He said, but that dachshund needs a home. If you think dog is just an accessory, then maybe you don't deserve to have one I wanted to bark at him and bite his head off instead got into the car and see as I stepped on the gas and drove us back to the animal shelter. The administrator looked at me suspiciously. Did I want this little dog or not? Can we take her for another walk before I decide I asked? A no nonsense attended in rain, boots took us past rose barking dogs many big and scary. At least to me. The smell of kennels rank the atmosphere fraught with desperation, when we reached the little dachshunds pen. She was on her hind legs against cyclone fence barking in an unbearably shrill tone, though. She was wagging, her tail. The attendant handed me her leash black and Brown and not much bigger than ferret. She strained at it outside paying no heed as she yanked. Surprising fours and barked at each dog. We passed away that put me on edge. How can you stand that shrill barking one woman asked? I didn't know but the dog must have sensed my cliff occasion. Because suddenly at a moment when I wasn't holding her leash properly. When did I know about holding the leash? She ran from us down a winding road that led to the Long Island expressway, it was horrifying. How did those stubby legs carry her so fast? Ira chased her running in the middle of the road faster at ever seen him run help yelled, I need help get the car. I feared they'd both be hit by oncoming traffic and imagined. My happily married life about to end all because of a little dog. Between the time I got into my car to chase her and the moment we caught her. I had a painful stab of the most profound sorrow imagining return to the hermetic life, without IRA that I had led for most of my adult years. With the help of passing driver. We caught the dog put her in my car and drove her back to the parking lot of the shelter where we all sat in the front seat catching collective breath. And getting over our shock. I was panting as was the little dog in my lap, her heart pounding against my thigh. And soon enough. She calmed down and rested, her long snout against my forearm. After such dreadful experience, you'd think I'd be ready to give it back. Instead, I felt something in me shifting she crawled up and snuggled deeper into my arm. All she wants is to be held, I said, in a tone of mocked, our before. And that was that. Dog I originally disliked for cosmetic reasons, instantly transformed me into the kind of myopic, cooing dog owner, I had previously scorned and without missing a beat IRA found himself devoted and in love with her, too. With us for four months. Now, she's been following me around the house with media is that I never would have expected to find so engaging. And if as I've heard before the work of dogs is to love and beloved than she is doing her job, maybe a little too well twice over the summer when returning from out of town, I caught myself looking forward to her, greeting more than I res- and then feeling conflicted about it and often when I read, I Haag or tussle, I find myself waiting for her to jump into join us. Then there is the issue of time with the sober concern of parents, dealing with the sleep issues of children with debate, whether to allow our in our bed, she doesn't take up much room, but she does manage to get between us making it difficult for us to fall into our typical embrace before sleep. For now. I keep her off until dawn when let her out of her crate, she leaps onto the blankets long black years with fringed bottoms flapping behind her right into Irish arms to plant kisses on his face. As he cuddles with her. It feels like he's doing the same with me. That's how profoundly I feel. We're all intertwined. It's ridiculous. No. But then I, sometimes think that dogs are around to make sillier than we are. Well, they don't judge George Eliot must have known that when she wrote that we love dogs because we long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults, certainly they don't challenge you in the ways spouse or parent, or child can but in their own way, they do get you to think beyond your own needs a little, if you don't believe that dry walkie and unhappy dog at midnight in the pouring rain, perhaps, if I'd had one while I was single it would have helped prepare me for the demands of relationship. One thing I know for certain IRA had it wrong affection. I can now see is not something one has unlimited supply like money or drinking water. It's more like a muscle. The grows. The more you use it. Or maybe it's an explosion like nuclear fission. The other night, we were on the couch with our wiggling dog in something between a tangle of caresses and a group hug. I recruited have looked happier. She's actually made you more affectionate towards me less. He said. A little dog. I didn't think I wanted his turned out to be exactly what we needed we only had to tweak, or name, a tiny bit to make it work for our own self consciously ironic purposes, instead of Zoe, she is now Zoloft. She is as good as her name. That Zachary Quinto reading Bob Morris essay, an affection, multiplayer with four feet and a witness. We'll catch up with Bob and Zoloft after the break. Modern love is supported by xfinity. Now you can get enhanced security for your home wifi network with xfinity X fi. If it's connected it's protected now. That's simple easy. Awesome. Good xfinity dot com. Call one eight hundred xfinity or visit a store today to learn more restrictions apply. Bob Morris is essay was published ten years ago and Zoloft. The dog is about twelve now. Bob brought Zoloft with him to the studio when he came to talk to us. And he says that over the past decade, she has lowered his IQ, but improved his marriage. What shocked me after I wrote the essay was that I'd become some kind of an insane, Mr. Rogers when I would walk the dog around the neighborhood, you know, Mr. busy don't bother me. I'm thinking of the next essay awry, all of a sudden, I find myself literally, picking this dog up in my arms and holding, like a baby. So that people can pet her face and belly. I really do believe she's lowered my intelligence by at least twenty points, and it wasn't all that high in the first place that I could lose that, especially as a writer Bob likes. The fact that Zola has absolutely no clue nor does she care. About any of his successes or failures. I mean this dog has no idea how many walls, I've hit in my career since I wrote that say, you know, I mean, let's see. I can remember HBO passing on a show when I first got the dog and I do remember having to lie down. And she was right there on my chest, and our breath, pretty much synchronizes, even though she's much little than me. It's not only that I do have a wonderful marriage and husband. Good, friends, and family, but they're not always there on, you don't always want to tell them about a disappointment that knocks yourself esteem, very hard. I mean, you know, knocked self esteem is a huge cause of depression, and yet to dog is ignorant of all of that. If I'm depressed and I come home, and I opened the door, she's going to be there being so excited to see me far more excited than any publisher or producer occasionally or even my husband, but that dog is spinning. She literally spins enjoy. When I walk in the Dr right? And so if it's a really bad day. Do you know what I do go back out close the door and walk in again? And has also helped Bob and his husband IRA. Connect when we first got together, the idea of falling asleep entwined in an embrace was out of the question, because, as a certified light sleeper, there was no way that I was going to be able to fall asleep with him in my arms. And now of course, I find that even the snoring helps me and then, you know, you add in a dog who just has to be nestled up against you to me. Even if I accomplished nothing else in my life, you know, to have accomplished this beautiful domestic feeling is enough for me. And Zoloft got her own last word into Zoloft say goodbye, Zoloft speak near you go, she said goodbye. That's Bob Morris and Zoloft Bob is a contributor to the New York Times and author of Bobby wonderful and assisted loving more after the break. Hey, it's been an Ameri, and we're the hosts of endless threat the show featuring stories found on the website, read it but you don't have to be a Reddit or to enjoy the kinds of stories. We tell like a couple experimenting with non monogamy or boredom that may have predicted the attacks on Pearl Harbor. Subscribe to endless threat on apple podcasts or wherever you listen. Here's Daniel Jones editor of the modern love column for the New York Times actually got a lot of about the love of dogs, but love of a dog isn't really what the columns about. It's really about love between people, but we publish essays that include dogs if that dog sort of is able to open a window into the relationship, and that's completely the case in Bob essay every decision about the dog sort of shines a light into their relationship. And that's ultimately, what wins the day with this essay, it's just it's funny and dramatic and the way that pets can reveal relationships is what I really liked about. Bob sesay. And here's Acharya Quinto. I'm a huge dog lover. I've had dogs for the last fifteen years of my life and totally relate to so many aspects of how they fit into a life relationship, and I was never reluctant to get a dog. I was always like a real enthusiast and actually did have a dog for years while I was single and two that taught me a lot about how to navigate the demands of relationship and get outside of myself. And I just feel like dogs are so healing. And they're such teachers and guides, and they think that they reflect back at us so much of owner ability and in eight kind of wisdom. And I just thought this story really captured that somehow that I felt really resonated for me. So I was happy to be able to read it. Thanks again, to Acharya Quinto for reading this week's piece you can see him now in no Speranza to on AMC. Modern love is a production of the New York Times, and WBU are Boston's NPR station. It's produced directed and edited by Caitlyn O'Keefe original scoring and sound design by Matt read. Iris Adler is our executive producer our intern is shimmy, loco. Daniel Jones is the editor of modern love for the New York Times. And by to the show special thanks to Julius Simon on your strengthen and Mealea at the New York Times the idea for the modern love podcast was conceived by Lisa Tova, additional music, courtesy of APM. I Magnin chucker bardy, and I dedicate this week's episode to our late great puppy, Luigi. We miss you everyday. Oh boy. We'll see next week. Modern love if the ported by xfinity some things are hard to control like over caffeinated co workers other things are easy to control. Like you're in home wifi with xfinity, X fi wifi curfew, change your password, and create user profiles over the x fi app. Another reason why xfinity is simple easy. Awesome. Go online. Call one eight hundred fifty or visit a store to learn more restrictions apply.

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98 - Tied Up Twice

Turn Me On

1:01:28 hr | 1 year ago

98 - Tied Up Twice

"Awaken Fauria C._B._D.. Arousal oil is a luxurious new way to enhance sensations of arousal and melt into deeper more accessible orgasms promoting natural lubrication and release of physical tension awaken awaken creates the relaxation and enjoyment necessary for central experience release and restorative rest for fifteen percent off awakened or any other products offered by Fauria go to fauria wellness dot com and enter Promo Code. Turn Me John. Hello everybody variety here. I'm whispering because I'm in house of sleeping people after two backed back night shoots on short short film and I'm just about ready for bed myself but wanted to say good morning to all of you or waking up and getting ready to listen to today's episode of turn me on Jeremy's Edmonton Minton I've unprincipled island and so we have a really special episode that we recorded together before we headed to opposite sides of the country and <hes> it's a revisit with our dear friend t tied up T- from one of the very first episodes of Termi on T. is in a rope play and teaching people about row play and suspension and all kinds of rule cool <hes> stuff like that and we're really excited to catch up with her and here how much has changed for her and her career and what's developed in what she's learned so on and so forth Jeremy Lobby back together but the end of the week and ready to come out with a four play episode for you for next Wednesday and in the meantime we're cooking up our special one hundred episode coming out may twenty nine and that'll be all ready for you. Oh for your Wednesday mornings at just like this one. We don't like to miss episodes. We miss it when we do and we just really WanNa Cook. You view listening enjoying so that's from me. I'M GONNA CURL UP and get some Z's hope you enjoy this episode and we'll see on the other side well here. We are again another. I think this is our third like check in episode but we're going way way back back yeah. I was trying to figure out how long it's been three years like it was right. Wing start was right when we started probably would be almost three years ago and yeah you were one of our very first guests tests that we ever have on the show you came in with Stu mets and suit stews only coming in just to take photos yeah and then stu ended up staying. He had a great interview and we recorded with him to it was so crazy. Classic classic classic episodes is perfect but teeth things. How are things you kind of? I mean so let's do this for people who maybe there's some people new to the show. They haven't gone all the way back and listen to the early days. Why don't you explain who you are and what you do and why we had you on the show in the first place? Okay well. I'm tied up T- and I'm local rope artist so right now I sell rope and I do wrote photography <hes> row blessings and some events still trying to get going in that will make sure that may sorry sorry. It's new yeah so that's a bit about what I'm doing right now. The tied up thing that kind of like I remember when we first had you on the show you were you were you're just getting into like doing public lessons yet and that seemed like really take off yeah. The group lessons sends and the private lessons have been great. They're probably my favorite things to do. <hes> definitely teaching rope safety and just fun new ways to be kinky or get creative has been really great for me. Yeah yeah I I remember. I had a lot of fun when we recorded with you because we ended up actually doing a little session where you tied me up tight Bridie up. Stu took some photos. Those photos went along way isn't for for different laptop but I was trying to find them. This morning's throw something up but no such lock them somewhere. Have them in yourself okay perfect yeah. I lost a lot photos. I lost my laptop. Yeah I feel like a bit has changed <hes> for business stuff. I feel like things were a little bit more figured out than they were before. When I was here I had wrote a few notes as there is something when I was listening I had talked about? Ah I was talking about giving a rope experience and <hes> so I just wanted to touch on that a little bit and how that went and I kinda don't really offer that now so I feel like most people approached me when I said I could do something as a rope experience without photos thinking I was more of a maybe a dominatrix or someone on yeah. Maybe <hes> yeah yeah and that's not really what I was going for. I guess I was trying to WHO <hes> make it a little less taboo and I want more people to experience it and not everybody is into being tied and not everybody can find someone to <hes> tie easily <hes> but I ended up getting a lot more questions <hes> but like can you come time me up in my bed and stay there and things like this and it's just I'm. I'm not really interested in being that person. That's not yeah so anybody. You know. It's time to figure out where I wanted to go with. This exactly wanted to offer. What did you do but that was that like did you just have to change the the branding? The explanation of like experience was I guess yeah like I hadn't really i. I hadn't really promoted the experience part that much <hes> but for the people that did and I always also using <hes> fat life toddler and things like that a little bit more than which I well. It's almost pointless to at this point but I don't really do that. <hes> so a lot of the requests for the experience came from the fat life <hes> folks <hes> makes sense yeah. We're I feel like yeah. It's a little more private. There and people ask a little bit more forward less boundaries that sort of thing but I just answered them like I don't really nothing's really taboo to me and I understand everybody's asking me for these things <hes> but it's just not what I'm looking to do so pretty much. Keep it to <hes> art photography <hes> I wanted. I WANNA teach couples. I do that all the time. Obviously I don't post anything about that. Let's private lessons but I love teaching people how to be Kinky and have fun in the bedroom as well but don't want to be in your bedroom. I guess is what I figured out so do people come to you then in your bedroom or in your living room where does on right now. I had to move into a very small apartment so <hes> I guess what I was God. I'm trying to think where I was. When I spoke to you guys last I? I did have a bigger apartment. I used to have a space <hes> so I've been a really small small space now so for the private lessons I've been going to people's homes mostly if they're reaching out I've done group lessons <hes> in people's homes where they've had like their friends come over instead of going to the ones I offered at Venus envy or something thing like that so then it's just <hes> you know people you know a little more casual and that so that's been really fun yeah. Do you have much competition in the city for what you do I don't. I don't know to be honest. I don't don't feel like I do but at the same time I always say to people. I don't feel like I I don't feel in competition with people in general I you know I feel like everybody takes rope and does something different even if everybody's doing wrote bondage you're not going to do what I'm I'm doing. <hes> and I'm not just doing traditional stuff that I've learned online is just my own creativity. <hes> and I think to now that I have a camera so I didn't have a camera I either when I was talking to you so everything depended on me getting a photographer or having one wants to work with me. <hes> I feel like now that I do pretty much all of it that it's <hes> way better way more comfortable <hes> yes. I feel like I'm I don't know there's a difference in that. I feel like a a lot of people are more private about it. The other people that seem to be doing it I only hear about. I don't really see them online as much. You know what I mean. I guess I was wondering about like like community. If you have a community the people aside from the people that you tie in the photographers or the models of the people that you work with on a regular basis is there much of a how do you find like community and professional development sort of opportunities and things like that a lot is online. <hes> law of my rope community is through instagram. Honestly I have a lot of greet people <hes> on there and I got a lot of creativity and bounce ideas and then we talk about consent and safety in new things like that <hes> <hes> I feel like I have a lot there honestly locally. It's a little difficult for me. I'm just balancing life in general and I've got more than one business on the go with the moment and then I have my daughter and relationship and I have a constant urged to be outside Guide and away from these things at the same time so I don't feel like I have like a big community. I have people locally that I talked to on Instagram <hes> that reach out and ask things about photography or about rope or that WANNA buy my role that sort of thing but I don't have a chance to really meet with people that often because I don't have a space so going forward. That's what I'm hoping to do now. Try to find his face that maybe I can use more regularly and I don't think ever seem like a a space specifically dedicated for row play no but what I would forefront or something you know what I mean like like I feel like that would lamp the sex shop that was in. It wasn't a sex shop. Sorry it was a leather outfitter like really incredible erotic sort of leather outfitting storefront in the building that I lived in Toronto the Big Warehouse Building Saint Nicholas Yeah Yeah right it was at that's kind of I would picture that but I'd also picture like an aerial studio. I know that's the part for me. I'm like I could find a place like that. It's really hard. I've I've approached I won't you mentioned a couple places but the taboo part really sticks out to people and they really think that it has to be about sex one way or another and it really doesn't because when I'm tying myself I'm just focusing you're saying and being creative or you know not everybody's learning to tie so that they can have sex with people you know it really is. There really isn't a like an art to it. I mean I can't begin to to describe grab how many instagram accounts that I have ended up following after our initial conversation yeah which are strictly just people who are posting images like of themselves in these amazingly immaculate like sets of knots that encompassed their entire body and it's just like I see these things and actually I know for fact like specifically one woman. Who's WHO's posting stuff? She's her career is based off of selling Prince Yeah selling prints of a high like lar- very large high resolution very expensive prints of her tied up. There's there isn't there's nothing sexual about it. It's sexy hand be factual. If that's what you WanNa read into but most of the time that's not what's being put by the artist. Lots of things can be like sexual if you know if you're looking at it with that Lens but yeah the the sensuality of the rope is what really what really hit home for me when I had it on like the feeling of it against my skin and the construction of the breath and you know I think it's it is it's so frustrating when when then let's say there's a studio that that has like aerials and and maybe I don't know they might even do like pole fitness goes rope. Play is to sexual I know in the <hes> yeah I I tried to take part in a certain convention and they shut me down immediately <hes> and then it was you know poll dancers and stuff and A._B._C. clothing. You know it's like I actually probably would much clothing. I'm not interested in being tied Megan necessarily in front of people I was just going to do some fun suspension stuff and show you different ways that you can use in the rope but any was very quickly dismissed and then what it is but it's because initially like even for group lessons people have wrote me too. I have to be naked and I was like please. Don't I use here. Ropes on other bodies. Actually all need to keep your underwear on yeah yeah. It's just I mean it's your own comfort zone like if you WANNA take but I don't. I don't have like these are not you know what I mean like. It's not a sexy session. This is just you learning again. It's a perfect example of how like even now like looking at at poll like it's not it's not necessarily sexual but it can be sexy but it's not doesn't it's not you know <hes>. The what's like the studio downtown studio in essence. It's like people who go there to dance poll. They're they're not doing it like if someone walked in and saw that class going on the last thing they're going to be thinking in their head is like oh strippers yeah exactly because it's now it's become mainstream where it's like. No this is actually just like fucking but initially initially like twelve thirteen fifteen years ago or anyone getting a poll in their apartment was like what are you totally now. It's like Oh my God compl- your poll pilates. We realized that this is actually an insane leasing art and exercise exercise odds and it's really helps a lot of people feeling confident in their bodies not just because it's getting them fit but because they can make it essential workout as well yes empowering sort of sense that comes with it definitely which I think all of those things we're going to go take a pole whole dancing class right after this all of those things I think can can just as easily be related to rope play yeah and so which I'm only making this realization right now like like I've never I've never even thought about that. That's such a let's make rope mainstream or not. Maybe we we do have. It's like it's already <hes> I don't know clearly I follow mostly rope things and that tends to be what I look for. Yeah I guess but I feel like a lot of people are doing it right now. <hes> one way or another and it's interesting to see because some people are you know it's a for like staying and some people are really getting into it and I love it. I I love seeing people get creative and in start learning and stuff like that <hes> but yeah it is interesting to see it everywhere now like when I started people were like Oh my goodness. What are you doing now? Everyone has like he told me you know yeah. Inspired aired Tattoo portraits all one word on instagram. I have not sure is a total plug for someone who well that. They don't need a plug. They've got like one hundred twenty nine thousand followers but this is one of those accounts that <hes> she'll oftentimes put up these photos of her with like she she. There's like a lot of rope <hes> ropes up but also her entire body is completely covered with just beautiful tattoo or a and I mean completely covered. There's not like an ounce of her body. That isn't acceptable. Remember like from neck up. She's she does not tattoos but check this out like she. It's like she sells prince of this like you're just Shubra super beautiful gorgeous yeah. I don't know if I'm following to be honest. You should check right yeah. I definitely will anybody's listening right now. Inspired Tattoo portrait's lives. I'm putting my very first changed our patron tears and one of them is like a monthly email from you with all the really cool things that I'm finding online sunscreen yeah now and now that'll be a place for me to collect my like book list and like all the references yeah but any who that is beautiful. I didn't even look at it. I just took a picture with my phone. Oh God everything's I'll look at it later. Save yes. We're doing in your life. I know that I believe when we spoke to you or not in a relationship oh no I like kind of out of one and newly out of New York teppan pretty much stayed lead single until now really I dated someone <hes> before her and I you know random things along way but I stayed yeah I save single for while I think I needed that. <hes> that mental breakthrough it just focus on my own stuff. I felt really you know it was a starting a new business and putting myself out there and then having you know all the relationship stuff I was like I just want to keep it to me for now. Did you find yourself I. I've never been in that that <hes> that's situation. I've I was thinking the other day like how you've always been relationship. Never not I'd never not been in a relationship I have. I have a friend who's just like that too. Just like one ham like Oh my God I need. I think he's also with age. Let's be real like when I was younger. I definitely didn't I'm gonNA take mental break. After break up. I was GonNa you know jumps in the next person for sure but I feel like now I try not to drag so much with my previous relationship into the next and and and that was something for you know my own mental health seven the last couple of years that was really important. <hes> especially anything that was kind of traumatic which that last relationship was just the bad breakup and it put negative connotations on my work and on different ways that I viewed things relationships so I feel like I really needed to just like wash that away and then I also <hes> just started looking at how I was forming relationships. I kinda like self counseled there for a little while and you know what I mean and Kinda looked at why maybe ending up in bad relationships yeah and just looking at different things and I feel like now <hes> I base things a little differently <hes> also dating a woman coming now is was a change for me not that there was never an attraction <hes> to the opposite sex bites <hes>. It wasn't in play but there was things that I didn't realize that I needed that. I feel like I'm finding more so in a relationship with a woman now I guess I like an emotional bond not sort of things a little bit more so and I feel like I had a lot of trauma that I connected to relationships with men so seeking men for more of a fulfilment on the different level not because they were what I needed to know so it's been a lot on a lot of that ties into the rope and stuff as well and just figuring it out as I go and then that change things because she very much likes to be tied up and I didn't think I was always obviously I've always been the rigor but I figured in relationships. I've kind of been the one that you know I wanted to be tied or whatever and I don't really want to be as much like I do. Would you say that there's any have you noticed that in any other places in your life like that kind of shift where I don't know I I've noticed this with like becoming more dominant. Let's say or the desire to be more dominant in my in my my sex life has really like I see it mirrored in also like when I'm kicking ass in my career and you know all of all of this sort of business yeah so you mean like the switch for yeah they have you been like a general switch. I do feel like there's been a major shift in just in Feminine Energy in my life in general <hes> and I I guess that Kinda does come in at the same time I do feel my whole life. I've always been very much like I have mostly guy friends. Now my joined my best friends are still guy friends and whatever but I've had a lot of men and now I feel like I have a loss of Feminine Energy and I feel good about that and I feel like really creative with more feminine energies but I feel like there's a lot that has come into play for that as well. You know <hes> just hey friends. Let me tell you about the newest addition to my intimate sexy time <music> hours. 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It's interesting interesting how surrounding yourself a different people as well. <hes> can also like really influence what what's like moving through you creatively like I was finally whoever I'm hanging out with generally informs like the out my output like what am I putting back out into the world whether it's good vibes or whatever or like I just found someone who's like really into doing the same thing that I'm doing with regards to this weird thing that nobody else has ever been interested in exploring with me so let's do <music>. This weird thing together yeah. I think what that a lot. I mean I think about that you know in terms of <hes> when when I started getting sick boy it was like I was spending a lot of time with Dave Dave Culligan who is a gentleman here in Halifax who it at the same time with starting like his own sort of video project that ended up becoming his career and <hes> and just noticing how the two of us like develop developed friendship around that exact same time we're both but to start a similar sort of venture into something unbeknownst to us and brand new and and just seeing what he's putting into it and and feeding off that him feeding off of what I'm putting it in my my side of things like sort of being there for each other the entire way <hes> they can have such a profound effect on the way that you you go about your day to day and and I definitely notice it like in in you know those like every year you're gonNA Meet New People. There's new people that are gonNA come into your life every single year and every year there might be some people that sort of like fall fall by the wayside <hes> but to like constantly have that in back reminded of like okay the the the new people that are coming into my life like how are they going to affect change in me as a as a creative or as a as a person in general just as a person in general yeah you're I look and everything I get so much of that working with different people like you don't realize and I don't often realize I go into shoot. Usually I meet with somebody beforehand and discuss things. I like to make sure I'm not he's shooting people in a way that you know I want them to feel good about it. If there's parts of them they'd rather not focus on and that sort of thing then I get all that information going into it. I've totally lost my train of thought told you I was going to have Ooh A._d._H._d.. Moment creatively collaborating with people Oh yes sorry so when I go in and thinking about maybe like something that's going to complement their body because everybody's very different and maybe be like what they're gonNA. Try to get out of it and I always think of it as the photos that are going to get out of it and like you know me being nice and courteous and that sort of thing but then there's just so much more comes from it I just tied <hes> brea encouraging honesty either on the weekend and she's just you know she's like really feeling yourself and she's just in the rope and she it just did so much for for her and watching her feel confident and like loving the pitchers and whatever I just I forget about that part tired of it like I it's a connection with another person. It's brought her to whole different. Those pitchers are going to be the same you know. If I tied somebody else. It would have promoted him away so it's just it's just magical to me to to work with new people and feel what they get out of it because sometimes like I've been doing it along time so like the magic still there when I come up with something new but it's not you know what I mean. It's a refresher every time I worked with someone new Yeah Yeah Art Art and the way hey that it it intertwines into our personal lives is is so <hes> meet someone who's like who has nowhere artistic endeavors or no like who doesn't like have any sort of hobby. That's like artistic. I'm always it's kind of like but how how do you go. How do you get through life? I don't realize something artistic to maybe yeah everybody has saying. That's an art that I I agree with you. Yeah I think we're just inherently creative and so you know maybe maybe the same people who would have said what you do is not art. You know it's sex and it's KINK. Thank but it's not art might be the same sort of people who don't see something that they do as actually quite creative artistic whether it's like I love to cook. It's like well. That's very great. It's creative. I love doing that like baking in coming up with your own recipes and everything like I think people just automatically assume you're pitchers or you're drawing or you're painting. If you're being artistic you know what I mean or your yeah yeah or or you know. Some people might have like a wicked imagination but they never right any like they never write it down. They're not writing about the stories are making up in their head or maybe some people are just making up stories in their head and they're just like self sabotaging with their creativity or maybe that's it. I like. I definitely feel like I can create all the time. I'm like I I say now. I'm like I'm never bored by myself. I love my alone time. I have so many things I'm like. I know enough now and I've taught myself enough and I'm like I just yeah I. I don't know how to not be creative. Ever not be producing something. It's like taken off. I feel like you know you've been talking the two of you. I was kind of sitting here thinking about the other people that I see 'cause I see you both in the same and myself and the same peer group of Love Entrepreneurial creatives like day of an leg you know <hes> some some I know a couple of makeup artists. I'm thinking of come to the top of my mind like models and like the blue and STU and like all kinds of people we've actually actually spoken to on the podcast but it just seems like it has been this real like maybe it's only because I've only known you a couple of years and all these people a couple of years but it seems like our peer group is only like progressing. I I agree. It's amazing to watch everybody. Just get better. You know everybody just seems like they're doing more and more <hes> with it. It's Great <hes> I did on that note to do this earlier but I did bring you a rope. I brought you a colorful king crow. Oh I brought it brought you the paint Taco because I feel like the Termi on podcast is all team creation in time so yeah I and a little bit of self promotion there so yeah I am Brin Yeah Colorful Cayenne K. colorful kink but yeah it's spelled k. n. k. yeah I just went with the instagram spelling. Honestly it's easier easier but yeah so I started making well. I guess I left <hes>. I went like full self employment last. May I guess it's almost a year now <hes> so I have a few different colors of that are just bright and fun <hes> cotton rope and so it's really great for beginners really forgiving and you can purchase it a Venus envy here in Halifax but also an odd weather selling it now at the view Semyonov well yeah amazing yeah and you can also order it from them. They have enough stock that you can <hes> get it mailed to you if you're if you're listening right now K. C. O. L. O. R. F. U.. L. K. N. K. on instagram. You can go check it out right there. <hes> or or go to tied up tease instagram. I'm sure and there's link so the staff at Venus envy has your local on it. Has Your label on it yeah just like that yeah fantastic lot listeners and Ottawa. Oh that's awesome yeah so they don't unfortunately don't have it on their web page just yet so I had a few people. Write me the rope. That's on there that is a bright color is not mine. Just just wanted to clarify but I'm hoping that we can get that. Put up there soon. It's just worlwide of things of course <hes> but yeah so you can purchase them. They're kind of rope is it. It's cotton. It's a twisted. Six millimeter cotton thirty foot Lens <hes> <hes> yeah. It's really sturdy Nice wrote for a beginner. A lot of people think of the cotton is really a week but it's a nice nice rope. I think it's great for beginners but it's also just Super Fun colors on the artistic side you know and okay so this one that you just brought brought in <hes>. It's all tied up <hes> if I was UN- wrap this how long has it thirty feet are all the thirty yeah yeah is that is that what you do say like if someone's like I'm I'm thinking about getting into playing with rope. I've been watching the videos online and I want to just kind of like play around with it. Would you say like start with thirty feet. I always say to start with a thirty feet. I mean if you're really only interested in doing some rope cuffs or like really simple things then thirty feet seem like it all a lot but I don't know what you're tying things off to how far your bed post or your hooks or your whatever you using <hes> and everybody's different size so you know like the the fifteen foot his great. If you're just GONNA do like coughs or ankles or something like that should fit pretty much everybody but thirty feet. You'RE GONNA WANNA do more than that. I haven't met anybody who's like Oh. I learned this one tie and I never wanted to do more holy. It's just you know it's better to have the the longer length I am considering doing the fifteen and putting them with like as sets but not really sure you know. I'm really got there just yet yeah it's beautiful. I love it. Thanks yeah <hes> so yeah. I'm going to have those for sales so I did. I was mentioning about not having space so I don't have a space that I you know if you approach me. I can't really set up a lesson for you right now. But I do have three lessons coming up up for June July and August. I'm going to be highlight highlife cafe down on Spring Garden Yeah so <hes> I'm GONNA put up more information on my instagram and I'm sure that they will have it up on. There's as well <hes> for the time and how to register and such but it is going to be June fourth July ninth and August six and so the first lessons just going to be a beginner so honestly if you've taken the beginner lesson with me. You are going to be repeating things if you're very new rope the first lessons definitely for you. <hes> the second one is going to be kind of intermediate and then the thirds going to kind of play on the second one so if you're coming to the third one it's great to come to the second one as well or be more advanced in your her in your rope play already. I was just wondering if you've ever considered doing a youtube. I have you to you do that. You probably you've really I don't I'm not sure we may started my I feel like it was probably around the time that I was on the podcast but it might have been after and I only did one video for probably a year because I am not really comfortable on cameras and I've really I keep I'm working on it now. It's like three years and being like okay. I can't even really get on and talked to my instagram so the videos take a little bit out of me to be on there and my anxiety kind of goes up by A._D._H._d.. Likes to kick in and I just kind of deer and headlights headlights a lot so it takes a little while but there's probably I think I've six videos on there now and I am going to be working on another one but it's just kind of been push slow. It's coming. We're making plans but it's just a lot to put it like to put you know what I mean to show you how I've created something and to pick something that someone can follow that you know it's safe with as well also shit little work medium of stuff like you got to really be able to commit the time to yeah. I have a great videographer luckily but so I don't have to do much of the editing stuff but I'm awkward as Hell and he has a lot to do. They always always been a dream of mind. You have like a Wayne's world type situation in my own house where it's like. This is the studio the film studio it's always set up. It's a Sassy. It's perfectly let and then have like like a cable talk. Show on hey baby no goals. Could we could do it. We could have that here I know he could. I just have to plant the seeds really slowly with Jeremy because otherwise when I come up with an idea let's make a T._v.. Shows like yeah sure they drop drop clues for like a year. He'll be like I think yeah the secret to marriage. I think I came up really all situations. I wanted to Josh on one thing that you mentioned <hes> and I don't know if now's the time to do it but you had mentioned in some communication recently that someone that you mentioned the show. Maybe a measure of yours thank you <hes> I have that in front of me and still didn't touch on it so in the first podcast <hes> I had mentioned like certain supporters in such a again. Everybody's been on Instagram A._M.. For the most part people I've learned from and I was supporting <hes> master. H Hatter was his name at the time <hes> and I had mentioned his name and I feel like I really wanted to touch on that because a lot of <hes> come out about him <hes> <hes> and being an abuser in the community who of course this is in the U._k.'s not someone local to be concerned about but it was somebody that I was openly supporting <hes> and now feel really <hes> bad about doing that but the people that he was involved with <hes> the victims in such didn't come out <hes> about it until the last couple of months and I guess that was you know took a lot for them to come forward but they're also people that I was following and supporting so it was a lot of heartaches to know that you know you're supporting again learning from somebody that was taking advantage of <hes> that position not authority you know authoritative position in in rope play so I did want to just touch on that again. His account has been taken down <hes> and such touch and there's been a few others. I don't WANNA put out <hes> any other names that one was kind of a big thing for me because I had already said the name <hes> but there has been a few situations <hes> like locally <hes> that have come about to just people that <hes> I have mistakenly supported in the community and unknowingly <hes> you know and being on the side of something didn't happen to me and I didn't realize and whatever and so I just think it's really important to listen to people Ubuntu really look at who you're working with and who you're supporting so that you're not I don't know I it was a lot to to deal with for me to know of supporting people that were doing really negative things especially something with my art something that I really really preach being safe and communication and consent and boundaries and all of these things <hes> so yeah I just I wanted to touch on that a little bit was that a part of like his practice actress did he talk about consent and boundaries and things like that or was that never really part of that wasn't part of any when I look back now that was never heard of talk with that person. He was very dawn but see like a lot of the people I've found found in the community. Now I definitely have a balance and way more women and way more like people who are just rigors and not put I it just seemed to be all men and dawn's that did this and so I just kind of put that to the side I'd be like I'll learn this stuff but I don't. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't like to feel overly in power in that sense. I don't you know what I mean. That's not what it's about <hes> for me as a big thing like a abusers sort of masking being there abuse behind behind this this sort of like dumb kink yeah identity yeah more so than I realized again. I don't play into that much like the kink for Hermes. I'm I'm very like like ink is rope. You know what I mean and other little things in my own bedroom but I'm not into certain types of place. I've never been really a part of the relationship I had before was a little bit teetering on that and that it didn't work so well so there's been a lot of <hes> just brushing it. Also I always see the main thing that I say in every single lesson to everybody is there is such thing as being to submissive K. so like you need to speak if you're are a sub even if you were like high in the scene and you're really supposed to be doing everything you're dom says it's not worth risking your body. You know what I mean like. Roque damage can like permanent nerve damage like really terrible things can happen to you. Also you're bound you can easily abused taking advantage of like there's just you know so in the situations that came forward. That's how it was played off. It was the dom was guilting them like if they would say they couldn't do a thing. They were guilty and be like well. The other person I play with can do it and there was a there was a lot of build up between and it was always a built between the the women between them against each other like well. They're jealous. Only because of that's just the way they are so I think the master housing they had kept them very separated in that way as well so so there's that and then there's also just the level of photography like I said the rope is huge. People WanNA use rope and everything for the likes and stuff like that. I totally get it. It's it's a big thing right now but <hes> not everybody that has rope knows what they're doing. Do not go get tied by someone who you've never asked about who you don't know if they can tie. Don't go by yourself like there's just so many those are the the big things I had a really bad what experience with a local photographer who has now also removed all their social media. I don't know if they're still working or whatever but I pulled back from that situation. I'd put up information a couple of times on social media and put it out there so people were aware but it's it's too much you know sometimes <hes> but they had taken it was just. I wasn't bound in a way that I couldn't do something. It was authority it was it was the very first otographer I'd worked with so I was like well. They're going to do everything to make me look good. They're gonNa you told me everything I need to do and if they push boundaries a little bit then that's what they're there to do but that's no your boundaries were boundaries boundaries my most favorite thing I've ever learned as an adult is he. You know stick with them. You have them for a reason. <hes> so yeah and I was pushed past my comfort zone and some pitchers were taken that I wouldn't have normally in now. You couldn't possibly push me you know I'm so I'm just I'm so worried about stuff all the time and I'm so strong about it that I don't you you know but at the time I was easily persuaded into doing it <hes> and then this person didn't want to delete the pitchers <hes> anyway. This has it's gone over the last few years has been numerous other women that have had their photographs taken by him and he has sent their her nude pictures to people who've just messaged. I had men right me and say I commented that this person was really pretty and he sent me there. Nude pictures like he's like this stuff. So I mean be like ask about your photographer is even with me. I'm like I'm super trusting and trust worthy. I think too you know what I mean. I've been doing this while I feel like. I'm not someone to be worried about. Don't come to me by yourself anyway. You know what I mean. You should always have somebody. It doesn't matter if you're in a vulnerable position which you are you know like with rope. You're always like I I know I know few people in my social circle that like you know enjoy having like boudoir photos done and things like that like what are what are what are the best practices for making sure that if you are going to like link up with the photographer or someone within that realm that you're you are ending. Up With someone who is credible and not some fucking creep who's just GonNa like take your nude photos and then blast well. I mean there's a couple of things I tell people all the time locally obviously I don't know <hes> photographers everywhere we're but locally asked me. I have so many photographer friends and they know you know what I mean like. There's a connection there for a reason so use it I have no I will always answer messages that ask about the safety of somebody somebody <hes> look into their backgrounds and not just like do they take Nice pitchers. Who have they worked with reach out to one of them know many that's worked with none of the models that worked with anybody? Would you know what I mean are going to say they're going to be upset if you reach out and ask like where Nice to work with where they see they you know. How do they make you feel? I really don't think you should ever go alone to a photo shoot. I just I don't mind y'all go alone with likes to because you know we're good friends but like that that would just don't do that. Another thing I noticed that really bothered me and not gonNA name names again but it was just another photographer that I've heard a lot of around here has quite a reputation for taking advantage of women single mothers people in situations situations vulnerability and getting them to take pitchers that they don't necessarily want to but he also takes pitchers that are really great and stuff that people enjoy <hes>. I don't see why you're supporting. Someone that you know is doing eating this. You know what I mean so I feel like that's been something I've noticed too. Is People have been getting like you know what I mean like. So photographer is is a known Predator. Maybe you know what I mean but you're like Oh. I want that pitcher. I'm sorry but like I I've only been doing do things with a real camera for a year and a half and I'm certain of you. Bring me a pitcher either. I can figure out how to do it or I can find you. Somebody that's on that level. You know what I mean rather than support somebody and think your the exception so I think that's the big one is while well he did to them but not me and I was that person to you know so I think that that just because it like you're still supporting something wrong. Whether it was done to you or not you know it's all part of that debate of legs separating people's work from who they are and especially when people get access to their victims feels like a harsh word but maybe it's hot but people who get access to their victims through the artwork that they're making weather filmmakers or for like you know people who work in it's everywhere yep film and photography. I was just trying to take a quick look through a couple of albums that I remember seeing seeing some of these photos in there was a series that you did with Stu that had like this is a bit of a weird question had like big women bound and maybe men to. I don't remember but one image that really stuck with me. It was like a woman and suitcase. I feel like it nothing shoot. Yes you're kidnapping shoe. Yes you're kidnapping shoot. I was just when I saw that now i. I like the dark stuff. I like. You know I like true. Crime shows I'm but I I wondered there was there was a flag in me now for for myself that race but wondering what was the response to the <hes> it was interesting. Actually I felt like that one was like a little bit of a social experiment or something when it wasn't what I what I meant to do with it but to be honest when this came about it was really really casual me and Laura I think <hes> Rondor the one that I'm always tying it was in the suitcase but yeah I think we were just talking and I was like she's always saying she can fit in small spaces. Okay she's small girl so it's like trying I think of things and I had this empty suitcase and we were going to shoot and we hadn't totally sat on ideas and she was driving and I was like what are we gonNA suitcase and in my mind it was really cute so now when and then when we got out there we went to pick up STU STU install new with that he was bringing his camera. Whatever and I was like so I'm GonNa put you in the pitchers and he's like Oh okay and then a little bit of a like? I don't know if I could do this like we're GONNA go. They're like they're going to think I'm doing something really bad and I'll say I'm gonNA have a camera. I'm going to have a ski mask but it's okay like anyway so the whole thing was really hilarious. It's just outside Yorker doubt like just the entrance because it was winter why twenty minutes just running back and forth to keep her warm and put her the suitcase and take a few pictures and and it was great so let me put them up at the time I had a really big like flow of activity on my page and these were like very mediocre amount of likes but my inbox was full right it was is it okay that I like this. Is this supposed to be good. Is this a you know what I mean like is like and just so many questions and I was like it's okay. If this is something that arouses you the idea of someone taking you whatever like you can play on things that are scary and and have a fantasy about it. Not You know what I mean and it's okay right. It's photographs. I was like everybody was very safe. There is no you know what I mean like. Everybody was very safe and laughing. Most of the time I go to take her unborn child at her mouth and I think I crossed some some boundaries a little bit with Stu. Maybe on that day but I know he loves those pitchers now and has no regrets but I think we were all a little uncertain yeah. What were your thoughts? You say you love the dark Steph I personally. I love that shoot. I'd like that shoot I when you were trying to pull out what you were trying to remember there I was going police say the one where the kidnapping and it was so cool I I I love horror. The horror genre all really but like it was very horror esque sort of like shoot. It was very very fair like spooky slash like real life scary so fun because it wasn't gene planned this shots and the vehicle turned out kinda creepy because there's no room right and I was I tied her and then just got him to pretend like he was tying her and stuff and but they just it's just the angles and everything I I don't no I love it definitely. One of my favorite people asked me to do another kidnapping shoot. I'm like totally I oh yeah definitely right. I would love to do another one. What were your what were your thoughts? Well I first of all I really like I like I like a series of photos. That tells the story like I like the I like the theme alike the consistency through them in terms of like the vibe and the tone and the like I really it really appealed to one part of my brain in like a this is like this is a short film but you know and yeah still images and then the other part of my brain which is out here like trying to think critically and like normal warnings and things on internet net level triggers and yeah exactly and how you know women are portrayed and treated as objects and you know sometimes stress type exactly without a bit but at the same level all I have this desire so much to play into that 'cause I think the photographs are so amazing for like a Damsel in distress type thing and that's like Laura just played like she loved being person so I think that in it just felt so good it didn't really a lot of it didn't come up until I was already posting pictures and getting responses mail yeah. I guess you know it's just like I. It's weird when you're not like personally offended by something but you have love leg flags up for for more other Aibo Yeah. I have a few holdups on on things like that for sure like I <hes> I love dark. I love the dark photography and stuff like that and <hes> I always want to try to stay away from certain things just because mental health is such a part of my rope so like I don't like to use like put nooses on things you know. I don't like to put that out in that SORTA way so I get like that. One could be trigger for certain things just abuse of women and that sort of thing as well yeah but again like I just I I mean I think that's also what makes it really great. Well Yeah and that was the edgy and there's only a certain amount of edge that I actually would wanna put into my work. Honestly you know a lot of it's more empowerment and fund but then narrative was really a fun. One and I kinda WANNA do more. I would love you to more narratives. Have I would like some sort of Rapunzel version of this yeah yeah right. I have a rope ladder. There's a four chamber heart video. That's kind of Rapunzel. Ask It's. It's it's all hair really intense real. It's a lot but it's cool. The narratives really need so I just did <hes> I've posted a few pictures. I don't know how much you've been on my my page but <hes> <hes> I worked with Sean. The shooter and <hes> J. Dot caused play is <hes> the his I D Jays so we did a narrative and it's only slowly coming out <hes> we've used. He's use it on his Patriot on. I guess he's got them posted there so he's doing some on his instagram <hes> and it was also like a mental health thing so I'm excited for him to post a bit more and then I'm going to try to post a bit more. <hes> you know in sequence on my peach but it was <hes> ah again like it tells a story right so it's kind of a comes home gets triggered by something on a cell phone and then the rope gets sorry I'm trying to do actions and hold but the rope gets discovered as he's pulling up a sleeve and then realizing that he's he's fully bound and like tied to what just happened has triggered and anyway so it gets you and then eventually you know it's just fully bound but it goes through a whole sequence. It was amazing photo shoe. Lovely people to work with Sean is amazing so the pitchers were great like just great so far. I haven't seen them also. I'm like really excited but I'll send you. I'll send you the pace and stuff after <hes> and I'll be posting those hopefully soon when he releases a few more sweet sweet yeah well all exciting stuff. There's a lot of exciting things in the world of shooting and rope and and Halifax in general yeah I'm already like my brain is like I'm planning this like huge party and that has to do with the Jeremy's other podcasts boy and too Yep and I've got like I've my brain is like on fire right now with ideas of how to like bring you into it. Yeah totally wanted to event yeah flakes fine all right well. We are coming up to time here before we before we sign off. How can people find you? What what is your instagram? What's well? My instagram is at tied up t two point. Oh now most of you know that my last one got shut down so you can reach me there. My business page for the rope. Is the colorful tank like you had mentioned earlier. My webpage is tied up teed. Sea Skua heads up a little bit under construction right now so the best way to reach me is probably through instagram or my email which is tied by t at gmail.com amazing well. This is as a real treat to have union grave superfine yeah and <hes> and thank you also tune in. We hope you enjoyed it. <hes> we'll be back next week like we always are with another fantastic episode but in the meantime head on over to apple podcasts and and <hes> hit the subscribe button Lee rating and a review <hes> tell your mom tell your dad in your sister and brother to do it too and maybe not listen together though might make for a nice family evening and if you want to support US financially you can do that. It actually means the world do us you can go to Patriot dot com slash term yawn and Bradey. Ken talked about earlier but there's there's a bunch of little <hes> sweet perks that you that can come with that so <hes> go check out our our different tiers there. Let us oh what you think because it would mean the world even though are picks get taken down from time to time you can still send us one of your butt and we will try to get it up on our instagram. I'm I'm I feel like it's a matter time before. Our instagram gets fucking hall if you don't do you guys use hashtags no okay that was a big thing shadow band on stuff so the keeping the Hashtag San when he posted it is a good idea. Yeah we definitely like the last one we took down will mostly. They'll they'll take down fully nude butts yeah. There's no underwear on the on the but they'll for some reason now but there's a couple of like shower ones that they haven't touched but the last one they put they took down it was it was it was a pretty spicy photos to butts slash. Oh I do with roses like beautiful thought. Do you get dino if you're getting reported or just curious is because I can't do something saying that it's been deleted. Usually it'll or do you just is it just gone. They know they sent me thing. It was like this has been deleted so I don't know I was like maybe I'll put it up again but only fuck. I don't want to mess with our. I don't WanNa mess of it. It's hard I I try not to push buttons these days after losing my accounts really devastating so I'm like either way we were there and you can send your we'll put it up anyway probably taken down but <hes> send it to us. You also email us attorney on gas STA gmail.com or fill out a forum on our website Termi on podcast dot com. If you WANNA be guest on the show or if you have a question a brain bone air that you would like us to take stabat this week until next week. You'll fuck yourself uh-huh.

instagram kidnapping Stu Jeremy WanNa Cook Halifax L. K. N. K. Fauria Bridie Toronto Feminine Energy partner Termi t Saint Nicholas APHRODISIACS Laura Megan Fauria
Rock Bottom:  Have You Hit It & Where Do You Go From There?

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29:13 min | 1 year ago

Rock Bottom: Have You Hit It & Where Do You Go From There?

"Hey everybody welcome to the addiction unlimited podcast where you get to learn everything you want to know about addiction and recovery. I'm your host Angela Pugh co-founder of Kansas City recovery life life coach and recovering alcoholic to learn more about me. You can listen to episodes zero on your podcast APP or find us on the web at addiction unlimited dot com. Hey everybody welcome to the addiction unlimited podcast. I'm your host Angela Pugh. Thank you for spending some time with me today listening to the POD. I hope you're having a fantastic week. This week has been a busy one for me and a little later in this episode I want to catch you up on everything <unk> happening in my world and all the great things I have coming up for you. I know some of you are finding yourself in a spot that is super uncomfortable and stressful feeling like a failure wondering if you're ever going to able to figure out this sobriety thing and I remember being in that exact same position I even in my most unhealthy times I actually believed that I was defective like broken beyond repair and and my connection to alcohol literally made no sense. I couldn't grasp why I kept doing it. Even though I was watching it destroy my life I was watching myself deteriorate and <unk>. I felt powerless like I just didn't know what the hell to do. No matter how much I hated alcohol and I really hated alcohol like the last couple of years of my drinking I hated it. I was so resentful because I felt like it had this total power and control over me and I couldn't stop it in even with all that resentment is still kept on drinking and I'm talking about this for two reasons one because I'm always trying to come up with new ways that I can serve you and can help you with good information and habits to build and a community full of support so you know you aren't alone and I have some really exciting things. I'm working on that. You're going to love and to because today's topic is rock rock bottom. Have you hit it. And where do you go from there. In rock bottom is like this figurative place we hit that signals. It's time to make a change right. It's usually very uncomfortable and unexpected and and and it's different for everybody. I don't ever want you to get hung up on thinking that rock bottom has to be some crazy dramatic event like mine was there are millions of people in the world who have a rock bottom moment moment that didn't land them in the hospital jail and I think we put so much weight on the term rock bottom that you start to think it's only rock bottom. If it's hugely dramatic or life threatening you know some some sort of crazy extravaganza and that is just simply not the case. You know one of my favorite rock bottom stories is my friend Jen couch. <hes> jen couch has sober cysts and she did a podcast with me. She's episode Oh twenty nine. If you want to check that one out that JEN has this really beautiful story of a family live being married raising kids a beautiful home full live she's active and for all intents intents and purposes. She's happy right in the midst of the sort of American dream story. She noticed that she was drinking more than she was comfortable with and she didn't feel good about it. She felt this huge like distance in her life like her words didn't match her actions like during the day she was doing yoga and eating healthy and drinking those dreaded green vegetable protein gene shakes and she was living a life she was proud of <hes> setting a healthy example for her family and friends and at night she was manipulating her time and feelings with wine right overdrinking feeling really crappy crappy the next morning where she would go right back into painting the picture of the happy healthy yoga mom. She didn't fall apart. She didn't get a D._U._i.. She didn't get in trouble with her husband. Her family didn't do an intervention on her her. There was no drama or chaos Jin hit her rock bottom moment she recognized. She wasn't proud of the choices she was making and she wasn't comfortable with how prominent alcohol had become in her. Life and she wanted to be better. That's it and I love talking about that too. How prominent alcohol had become in her life because for me? You guys have heard me talk about my story where like the very beginning of me realizing leising. I had a problem with alcohol was realizing my relationship with alcohol was different in realizing that it sat front and center in my life more so than it did for my friends right. I just knew my relationship with alcohol was different and what I want to focus on for a minute on that part I said about not being proud of the choices she was making is remember the episode about poking the bear. The bear is my alcoholism and as long as I'm sober he's in hibernation and I want him to stay in hibernation in anything I do that. I'm not proud of is poking that bear in tempting him to wake up right alcohol alcohol needs you to feel bad about yourself. It's the only way it can thrive and maintain control. When you feel bad about yourself it gives the committee in your head all that ammunition to kick your anxiety into full gear and talk trash to you all day long about how bad you are in how weak you are and what about parent you are and what about spouse you are and what about employee employee you are and you can't even keep your house clean and you can't get dinner on the table or whatever all of those things as long as the committee has all that ammunition to use against you you will want to drink drink because inactive addiction alcohol is the solution to quiet the committee in squash the anxiety the committee causes alcohol is the coping mechanism? You have used for so long so you see it as the solution Lucien when really it's totally the problem so it's so important to get this at its core level. That's why just quitting drinking will never work because just quitting drinking doesn't make the committee shut the F. Up. It's the core issues we have to focus on. We have to change what the committee is talking about. So it's positive in supportive instead of vicious and defeating you have to take actions every single day that you are proud of so you feel good about yourself and what you are doing and how you are living because when you feel good that bear has nothing to feed on you'll never get rid of the committee that ongoing self talk is just a part of life and it's something that everyone has people with compulsions and self esteem issues. Take it to a new level like we do everything else but it's just a part of life so don't be mad at the committee just put at some good time and energy into giving the committee new information to talk about instead of giving it ammunition to use against you. I loved that Jen recognized that she wasn't proud of her choices is an she wanted to do better in that literally was her rock bottom and I'm not saying that it was all rainbows and UNICORNS right like I'm sure she had embarrassing moments. Just like any drunk person does in I'm sure there were disagreements with her husband or whatever that that may have looked like for her but the point is she didn't ride the rock bottom train all the way to the bottom of the abyss right like she got off the train pain before it reeked too much havoc in her life and that's an option for everyone. You can get off the train whenever you want. Your rock bottom doesn't have to end like mine covered in blood face all busted up getting ready to go to jail right eight. That doesn't have to be your story. I hear people a lot talk about going to a and feeling like they don't fit or like everyone in the room is worse than them because their story isn't dramatic right the truth is it doesn't no matter what the details of your story are and it will not serve you well to sit in a meeting and pick out all the ways you are different from everyone and how you don't fit right. That's just giving the committee more ammunition to use. He's against you so it can tell you don't belong you. Don't fit here either. You are separate from these people then it can keep you isolated and alone in the bear has more discomfort to feed on instead. You understand that the details of our stories are not the important part and that's not what brings us together what connects us is our feelings about what we are doing. It's the feeling of being defeated by alcohol. It's feeling worthless and out of control. It's feeling as if you hate yourself because you can't figure this thing out and feeling like your piece of Shit for what you're putting putting your family through those feelings are what bring us together not the details you may get to that place of desperation in defeat from having a few glasses of wine at night and feeling groggy in the morning for me. It was more chaotic. It doesn't mean that my alcoholism was worse than yours or that. We aren't the same maybe you didn't need to sit in jail and feel like the biggest loser on the planet to sink low enough to make a change but I did. Maybe you look into the perfect little faces of your children in recognize that you WanNa be better you WanNa be the parent they deserve and the parent they long for to teach them and guide them to play with them and teach them healthy and strong self esteem so they don't turn to substance to feel better. Your rock bottom can be just that simple so once you hit rock bottom. Where do you go from there? The first thing I would say is get a good solid commitment from yourself. I mean decide to change. Don't try don't decide you're going to change until it's uncomfortable or until it gets hard but decide for for real that you are doing this no matter what that's one of the most important pieces when I quit drinking and I truly believe this is a big piece of my success in sobriety when I quit drinking I quit drinking was not an option for me. No matter how badly I felt it was off the table. If a thought of drinking popped into my head I would immediately say yeah but we don't drink anymore. I'm not drinking anymore. I gotTA figure out a different way. That's not how we do it anymore. I committed I decided for real. I committed to that decision. You could not have paid me a million dollars to drink. Alcohol literally tried to kill me and you guys have heard me say this before. I really like you but if you tried to kill me I wouldn't hang out with you anymore. So why would I continue to hang out with alcohol so for me. That's just how it made sense right so start there get. It's a really good solid commitment from yourself and understand that it is going to be uncomfortable understand. It is irritating. Sometimes you're GONNA hate it and that's okay right. None of us have ever died from being uncomfortable. You can get through uncomfortable. I think we don't challenge ourselves enough. That's a big big big piece of this to in relapse like it's like we WANNA fall apart under the pressure of anxiety and discomfort and boredom. We just WANNA crumble under that pressure. The truth is you are perfectly capable of handling that stuff you just gotTa tell the committee to take a hike. You've you've got to step in and know that there are solutions and be willing to find those solutions and act on them and get through that discomfort right. That's what being committed to a decision is really about once you have that real decision decision that real commitment then get my recovery recipe because it's literally a step by step guide as to how to start making the most simple changes totally fast and easy to give the committee new things to talk about. Honestly it's so simple it's kind of ridiculous and it doesn't have to be super time consuming either. It's not a pain in the ass but this is your guide. If you WANNA feel better fast. If you want the committee to stop beating you down down all day every day then you'll be willing to follow some simple instructions so you'll feel better in this is the first test really to see how committed you are and how solid your decision is. Are you willing to follow simple guidance science in do something that will help you or is the committee already making excuses as to why you don't need something like this is the committee telling you you can figure it out on your own or you can get the recovery recipe later when you know you will probably. Forget like you don't have to take action now. You can do it later or maybe you got my recovery recipe and you never even opened it or try to use it. You guys this is your alcoholism talking. It needs you due to stay the same and not take action so it can remain in control. The bear needs to eat and if you take action and do something to make yourself feel better than he can't eat. So of course. He's going to tell l. you to not do it. Of course he's going to tell you to wait until later. You don't have time right now or whatever the excuse is. This is how he talks you out of going to meetings or gets you to not look for a new job when you one or gets you to not work out when you really want to and he gets you to continue eating shitty even when you WanNa do better the bear is trying to maintain control and the hardest part of this is recognizing when he's talking shit to try to sabotage you in then doing the thing he's trying to talk you out of because you've made a decision to do better to be better. Try Harder in accomplish what you want tell hell the committee and that bear to sit down and shut the F. up because you are taking over now then go get the damn recovery recipe start taking simple actions to rebuild yourself and be proud of who oh you are and you can get an addiction limited dot com forward slash recovery recipe. It's totally free so don't think I'm trying to talk you into buying anything. It's absolutely free and again. It's addiction unlimited dot com forward slash recovery recipe and I'll put that link in the show notes too so you can click on it and get it right from your podcast APP but again. It's totally free. I know a ton of you guys have it. I love that you're using it. I get really great feedback about it and I appreciate that okay so make a decision and don't think you can't do it or it's too hard because it isn't. That's exactly what the bear wants you to think he will put up a fight so be prepared to hear the committee spewing all his lame excuses for why you don't need help or you don't need support guidance or you don't need to go to meetings or you don't have time because you're so busy or whatever the thing is. He is telling you. This is something that to me is both sad and amusing right because we talk ourselves ourselves out of things so easily or we let the bear talk us out of things so easily think about it this way. If you went to the doctor and you were diagnosed with cancer you would do everything in your power to fight it. You would follow the follow the doctor's recommendations to a T.. You would figure out how to pay for it. You would quit your job if you had to to make time for your treatments. Indoor surgery because cancer is fatal in we'll take your life well. Newsflash addiction is fatal in we'll take your life if alcohol will kill you so if you catch yourself making excuses even if they feel totally valid and rational. That's the moment you have to double down and be committed to your decision. I go through the same things you you guys. I work a lot on my podcast. I do all my own editing marketing. I make all my graphics. I do all my own social media. I write all my own copy. I build my own websites and on top of that. I have a whole other company with to sober living houses with seventeen guys to manage in protect on a daily basis. I understand being tired. I understand being busy at the same time I will never for a moment moment. Allow my sobriety to suffer because of the choices I'm making right. I can get up a little early and do a meeting online or watch a good sobriety video on youtube or listen to a podcast. There are a million ways. I can nurture Termi- sobriety on a daily basis but it's up to me to make that choice and to make a commitment to taking the action each day because I decided I will not take a drink again another example us when people tell me they don't have time is if you dropped your phone and broke it. I promise you you would create an hour in your day to go to the phone store for a new phone. I promise you you would because it's important to you. So why would you not carve out a small piece of time each day to nourish and feed your sobriety. Is your phone more important than your sobriety. I don't think so so let's recap. How do you know if you've hit rock bottom? <hes> I think rock bottom is the moment that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired and you're ready to make a commitment to change and you are willing to tell the bear and the committee to shut the F. Up so you can follow simple guidance to get better. Let me save you some time right now. You can't do it on your own because the bear has hijacked. You're thinking any broke it. It's just that simple. He broke it so you can't sit there with broken thinking in figure out your own solutions with broken thinking like it doesn't make any sense you have to follow the guidance of people who have had broken thinking and fixed it already. We know the path so let us show you. It's really just that simple. Really you know you really ready to commit and make changes when you cease trying to talk yourself out of help before I really decided to get my shit together. I was always against everything I I didn't want to go to meetings because of my anxiety. I didn't think I needed the things that other people need it. I didn't think I was as bad as those people or whatever I would never take any suggestions in that kept me isolated and separate and alone and drunk but when I had that rock bottom moment in a really decided I was ready to change. I took every suggestion I was given. I didn't fight anything. I didn't say maybe or maybe I'll do that later or I don't need that right. Now I literally took every suggestion and I ran with it. Even the things that sounded absolutely terrible to me in there were things right like I have terrible social anxiety. I'm not good in groups that I got there and they said you need to get connected and hang out with other alcoholics and this lady came up to me and said Angela a bunch of us. Ladies are having dinner tonight. We'd love for you to come in in my ahead of course the bear in the committee. We're going Oh God. No that sounds terrible. Were definitely not doing that. We want to go home. We went isolate. Let's be by ourselves. We definitely do not WANNA hang out with a bunch of strangers. You know what came out of my mouth. I said absolutely I'd I'd love to and I was lying because because I wouldn't love to but I knew because it was suggested to me by the people that had walked this path before me. I knew that's what I needed to should do and I knew even bigger than that. I knew that I didn't know what the Hell I was doing. I needed the guidance of those who had already accomplished what I was trying to accomplish think about it. It's the same reason we hire coaches coaches right because we're ready to do better and be more committed and we want the accountability to hold us to our commitment. That's why you guys hire me the same reason we hire personal trainers so they can teach us how to do better because we are really committed into doing better but before I was ready to commit to changing my eating habits or exercise habits. I wouldn't hire anyone because I wasn't totally committed so I didn't want that accountability. I didn't want someone to know I wasn't hasn't really committed right so screwed around on my own printing healthy recipes and googling how to eat well in joining free online programs that I never followed because there wasn't real accountability because I wasn't really committed yet when I got serious when I decided for real decided in committed to my decision that's when I hired the right coaches to get me where I wanna be a. and hold me accountable for my actions and my daily choices. I got guidance to get me where I wanted to be from people who knew how to do what I couldn't do on my own and that leads me to to catch you up on some of the things going on here at addiction unlimited and what I'm putting together for you first of all I wanNA give a shout out. I usually give a shout out in the beginning of the episode but as usual I just started chattering and running my mouth and uh-huh for God's shout out so I wanNA give a shout out to Katie who just joined my two K intensive platinum package. Katie has been struggling for the last year trying to quit drinking she would get like several as sober sometimes even a couple of weeks sober and then she would fall back into old patterns and habits drinking with friends or even drinking at home out of boredom. <hes> and I love Katy story too because she wasn't a hard core daily drinker like me. But she noticed that whenever she did drink she drank more than she wanted to and she would wake up the next morning feeling like crap usually late to work and then she felt embarrassed because she wasn't as together at work and she was just feeling all around crappy right so she decided for real decided that she wanted to commit to making a real change and she wanted that hands on support of my two K platinum package because she wanted to really understand drinking from the inside and she wanted daily guidance and support to change and that's what we do in two K it's daily support with me and I'm so proud of Katie because she's brand new to this. Her rock bottom wasn't extreme and she's totally committed to a new lifestyle and she's super excited so yea Katie's so happy to see her and have her in that two K and for those of you who want more support in your journey whether you want the daily support of the two K. Platinum Ratnam package or just weekly support with one on one mentoring with me you can find all the available coaching options at Addiction Unlimited Dot Com forward slash coaching. I also do group coaching every Monday evening that is really inexpensive incisive and a great way to connect with other people who are doing the same thing and are here to support you along with me supporting you and you can find that Info also at Addiction Unlimited Dot Com forward slash coaching and I also put that link in the show notes so you can get there and sign up right from your podcast APP Addiction Unlimited Dot Com Forward Slash coaching seriously addiction doesn't deserve to win right so decide commit get support report okay lastly. I am creating an online course for my recovery recipe. I am so crazy excited about this. It will be a great opportunity to utilize the recovery recipe the way it's meant to be used with guidance from me on exactly how to use each piece it will be fully online so you can do it at home in your undies on your own time. How amazing is that in his totally private David? I will keep you posted on that too totally private in your undies. Do It on your time so that's coming up. You'll hear more about that in speaking of totally private I get several messages a week asking me if our facebook group is private where can other people see that you are in there and the addiction unlimited group page is a private page so it will not show up in your feed or anything like that. Only the people in the group can see you in what you post but for those of you who are worried about the privacy issue. Remember that I'm a life coach right. I work with a ton of people who don't have any addiction issues at all. I work with people to change all kinds of habits. I work with people setting goals for their business business. I work with couples for better communication. I'm a life coach. I happened to also be a recovering alcoholic so I love working with people with addiction issues but if you were ever questioned about being a part of my group you are welcome to let people know I work on improving life in rebuilding self esteem and being a better human regardless of what you're recovering from. Just tell them I'm a life coach in. It's good information and it's supportive. That's all you have to to say and I hope that helps because I do get that question a lot so I hope you guys love this episode on Rock bottom. I hope it makes more sense for you and I would love to hear some of your stories to and don't forget to join is in the facebook group. <HES> FACEBOOK DOT com forward slash groups forward slash addiction unlimited. I will also put that in the show notes our show notes get long <hes> you can link directly to our facebook group the coaching page age and whatever else I said I would put in there. You can find that right in the show notes on your podcast up. We'll keep it nice and simple for you. I hope you guys are having a great day and I look forward to next week's episode we have Daniel Henderson coming on Daniel Henderson a young guy he got sober young and in early sobriety he went hiking with a friend and he felt two hundred feet off a cliff in Utah. This is a crazy story. Story and Daniels episode is next week so look forward to that again. I hope you guys are having a great day. Thank you for spending some time with me. I'll see you next week. You've reached the end of another great episode of the Addiction Unlimited podcast candid and honest conversation about addiction and recovery be sure to visit us at addiction unlimited dot com to join the conversation and access show notes and links do everything we talked about love.

Rock bottom Jen couch Angela Pugh facebook POD co-founder Katie Kansas City youtube Jin Lucien Daniels l. Termi Utah Daniel Henderson Katy
Todd Tresidder - A Blueprint for Building Wealth

Escape the Rat Race Radio

45:23 min | 11 months ago

Todd Tresidder - A Blueprint for Building Wealth

"The less senior earn save the difference in invest it wisely and that's you know but now you've got to understand. How do you spend less. How do you earn more. How and you invest it wisely? Welcome to escape the rat race radio. I'm your host Christian walk. Mrs Your ticket to escape the mind. Five investments themselves are not inherently wise. They aren't really good or bad. It has to do with your plan. How you incorporate that strategy because see the thing teaches investing dun-rite is process process. It's not a product and what everybody thinks is investing. Is they want to get Microsoft or Google. Its infancy right and that's not how it works. I welcome to not episode of escape. The rat race radio. My name is Christian Rodwell and this week my guest is Taught Tressler Aka. The financial mental thoughts financial writing has been featured in the Wall Street Journal Smart Money Magazine investor's business daily a Yahoo Finance and many many more is former hedge fund manager who retired at age thirty five to become a money coach and financial blogger at his website. WWW DOT financial mental dot com and also holds the claim to fame for being one of the early pioneers of computerized investment investment research more than fifty five thousand people have used todd's wealth-building tolls which were available for free on his website to help them jump start their financial chill freedom now in today's episode your hair were anybody can achieve financial independence and the mathematical equation. The back stats up. You'll also also here taught speak about the three main asset classes for building wealth which property paper assets and business slash entrepreneurship along with the essential chill questions that you need to ounce if you're going to care personal wealth plan that just works okay. Let's do this. Let's head on over to my conversation. Shen we've taught tressler peso welcome to escape the rat race radio taught how eight tonight do good they have me. Hey so good speech Utah to wear dwelled all right now Reno Nevada Nice Nice. I Know You love the great outdoors Luzia. Yeah Yeah total great outdoors. That's that's what I was. My Free Time Todd Way on the radio today. Many of our listeners Zaire kind of juggling a full time job wave trying to build a business trying to build their wealth and time is of the essence everyone short time. We know that we allowed and which mind sharing top was there ever time when you were in the rat race yourself. Would you site oh absolutely and you're to some extent I mean I remain in the rat. Race is day to the extent that there's always opportunities. All these really amazing things that I want to do and get involved in and I'm just sitting around late on a hammock eating bon-bons. You know I mean there's a lot to do in life and so I think the rat race is your Termi. Those is where you're stuck inside a job and you're like you know hamstrung wheel just spitting spitting the wheel and so yeah. I was in that came out of college. I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth south in so I had to work like everybody else and but I just had this kind of crazy thought I said well supposing are just injured my life to result in financial initial freedom. Mike what would that look like in so I just decided you know so I started studying people who built wealth and just trying to figure it all out like how would you design your life to result in financial national independence and so it worked. I was financially dependent twelve years later yeah so a man with a plan and is it possible to build wealth without plant well. I don't think so I mean you know you're you're basically giving me a layup to pick my core switches expectancy wealth planning and the reason it's the I corps site or created was because what I couldn't literally couldn't start coaching a client so it came out. It was an outgrowth of my coaching right because I didn't start with courses I did. I coached People WanNa one for twenty years and in the process coaching people would I realized that you literally can't coach a personal financial independence unless you have a plan. The reason for that is the plan sits. It's the backdrop. It's the context from which all decisions you make remade and if you don't have a plan your decisions or haphazard they're not cohesive and so what ends up happening is. Is You end up approaching financial independence without a plan you end up approaching. It not strategically not efficiently. This tremendous amount of waste of resources both time and money. I'm into the plan is critical. You have to start with a plan so yeah. I agree with you. Fully on that's funny brought that up and simply just too many distractions dwelled right now on that ought to have that plan and keep me focused well. That's the thing see what happens as people would contact. Muniz say hey tied. Should I invest in X. Y. Z. Or is it more important. I started business than do this. Investment shy quit my job and do this instead and there was always questions and I was always like well. What's your plan you know because is your plan determines. How you're GONNA approach because your plan where you integrate. Here's the thing about proper wealth planning when you do it right. You have to take three asset classes. You build wealth with bright. You've got real estate. Sets your broker and financial advisor could sell you and then you've got business asset class so only one of them is normally included in a financial plan right the traditional financial plan but welcome includes all three asset classes now. Here's the red each of these three asset classes. S.'s has unique characteristics and so they're not all the same. They don't all work for the same people and that's why you see all these drew's out there and they're all making the same mistake to say. All you gotTA do real estate. My way you know and you gotta you. GotTa do a business. That's how you get rich or you. Do The stock market you do it this way. Everybody's got their little secret to riches right. What what they're not telling you is that each one of these strategies has so characteristics and so you got to be able to match the characteristics of the strategies that you employ in the asset classes you use to your your specific characteristics in your life your timeframe your goals your resources what your interests are what your skills are. All these things will shape what asset classes and strategies will to work for you. That's how you put together well-planned correctly and that's why you can't answer all those questions without it because that wealth paint process tasty through values clarification it takes you through all these different issues. You have to go through to integrate it into a weapon actually work for you. Does that make sense. I I love that. It's it's so on the money elite because Austin Myself United's note that the strategies done work is just the right fit for that strategy you can eat after a weekend seminar and some Annals Digest GonNa sell you the next best thing and it sounds easy and you just dive in but if it's not right for you if it doesn't fit your personality and all those things you just mentioned thank you almost only losing streak from the beginning right. Oh yeah absolutely I've got I've got clients that our whole hog on real estate and I've got other clients that can't stand in real estate and wouldn't touch it right or like me. I did it with advanced paper. Acid strategies networks really good for like an engineering got kind of an engineering mentality. I'm not formerly an an engineer and so advanced oppressive strategy. It'd be very effective for that type of mentality other people brilliant entrepreneurs. I've got clients that are just brilliant entrepreneurs and they made millions in just a few years off their entrepreneur work in so it's just you got to figure out like what's going to work for you and then you integrate and develop a plan around that you've got understand that there's now if you ask classes but there's all these strategies within each asset classes you can employ and here's one more thing accuracy as market opportunity varies over over time and so that's another dimension of the puzzle. Is You have to match it with market opportunity at the time so you know it's like the dimensions to this this why people that come up in the oversimplify it. It's not complicated really I mean. I just explained it in two minutes right yeah. It's not overly complicated but then there's the implementation tation. How'd you do that todd. How do you bring these things down and integrate them into a planet. Lashley worked for me. You know that's that's the key issue I mean if you take it satellite one of the oldest richest Babylon united spend less than you earn and invest the rest is basic rules right well yeah but here's the funny thing that's everything needed about finance audience one-sentence write two sentences whatever it is one or two sentences and it's true everything you need to know about finance to build wealth can be contained about. T- sentences the question is how how do you do that right so it's been less than you earn. Save the difference in invest it wisely Bam. That's the you know but now you gotta understand well. How do you spend last ask. How do you earn more how you invest it wisely you know. How do you do these things? That's the key in which ones are going to work for you. What's wise investment for one person won't be another cause investments. Themselves are not inherently wise. They aren't inherently good or bad. It has to do with your plan how you incorporate that strategy because see the thing teaches investing dun-rite is a process. It's not a product and what everybody thinks is investing is a product. They're looking for that good investment. They WANNA get Microsoft or Google in its infancy right and that's not how it works very rare cases will that work. There's a few outliers where they actually got wealthy that way. Most the most people don't do it that way. We've already been so many so many questions that I could hit but let me say on Oscar Oscar touch. What's the difference between building wealth and investing because I think there's inherent difference in your mind right huge difference yeah so so investing is just so first of all everything built goes back to your expectancy equation in your future value equation right so in other words the math that governs wealth-building governed everybody to expectancy equation and the future value equation so expectancies probability times payoff in its simplest form and that determines your wealth growth rate and then in future value equation as expectancy times time right so it's how grows over time in so. I mean I'm oversimplifying but that's that's intuitively how you understand. All you really really needed an intuitive understanding. You'll have to have formal mathematics. You just have to get this and be able to apply those rules intuitively and so when you go into it what you understand. Dan Is that wealth is actually the compound growth of both your personal resources and your financial resources in so when people hang on just an investment this strategy what they're thinking is. They're getting stuck in a box of thinking they're thinking Oh. It's just about my w. Two income or my wage income how much I saved from that income and then I just need a better investment strategy. I need a higher rate of return but they're not realizing wait a minute paper asset investing which is what most people think of when they think of an investment it strategy right like stocks bonds mutual funds. ETF that kind of thing when passive investing is the most limited investment class so the strict mathematical limits it's to the growth of a paper asset portfolio and I go into that and of course it's beyond the scope of this interview but just trust me on it and intuitively you know it. You don't even have to trust me because if if you look at the greatest investors of all time none of them exceed twenty percent compounded right and yet you can find tons of real estate investors in tons of entrepreneurs were there their return on investment greatly exceeds twenty percent compounded like that would not even that great in the Ontario class entrepreneurial invested class and so what happens is the paper asset classes extremely limited but everybody thinks oh. I just need a better investment strategy for my portfolio and that's gonNA solve invest. Bronze sounds notes. Not that's just one little tiny aspect of the whole thing so. It's not that it's wrong. It's just not the whole truth and what happens is. When you start looking at it that way it limits your understanding of the different things you can do to improve your total return to improve your wealth to increase security diversification value. There's so many things things you can dig into once you expand your understanding of it taught if I may just try and strip is down and keep it real bicyc- time someone listening right now and they just haven't dived into this weld but you know they all committed to investing the time the next ten years I know the ABC's Britain looks around retiring within ten years a nice okay. I'm prepared to commit whatever it takes. I've next ten years to do this. When you start with someone if you'll coaching apply at the beginning unless somebody added questions that you would ask was I said before I would go straight into designing a wealth plan right so that would be the starting point so for slide find out. I'd I'd assess their situation today because their situation today and they're going. They're timeframe implies. Let's possible and what isn't right so for example if I have a anesthesiologist who makes five hundred thousand dollars a year and only has accumulated two or three hundred thousand dollars in savings. I've got one very I've got a of clarity in what the situation is right. He doesn't need any help with earnings capacity. There's no way he's going to have a higher earnings capacity than it is current career right right. There's no need to bring an entrepreneurship instead what he needs to do is figure out how to channel more of his income earned into his asset category and how to compound acid category more effectively and so just those couple numbers of how much he makes how long you've been at the career and what a savings are will pretty much determine his plan and I goes straight into that with them right or you take somebody like. Let's say you got a schoolteacher and they're making forty or fifty thousand year. They have summers off and they're really good with with hand tools and love working on stuff well. They're never going to really build wealth on a teachers salary right because they're already kind of a minimalist living standard off the teacher salary in so it's it's pretty hard to save your way to wealth or to accelerate a well-planned so they're. GonNa have to look at both real estate in the entrepreneurship class in order to do something they have to break out the math of compound returns that are limited in the paper acid category so if you notice what I'm doing in each of these examples is I'm stepping right into what I opened the conversation with which is matching the characteristics of the person's life their goals their skills their resources and I'm matching them up to the strategies Angie's that are viable given their goals xanax sense yeah. It certainly does yeah and then again keeping on that topic of Kana knowing yourself we we is a toll could wealth dynamics is one of the many psychometric tools out evidence really great points people in the direction of natural off towards wealth. Do you have any aide takes for people. Hey really just don't know wet gain and you need that little bit of direction. almost like pointing the compass fulled for me. What it is narrowing process. You take you take the whole sphere of what's possible which is almost a management so large right and that's why they can be confused and everything is just so many possibly acidly so many angles you can go but there's only a few it's going to work for anyone person or is. GonNa make good business sense for anyone person their situation see you just start narrowing down until you can get to something and then they design a plan around it. If it gets excited moves them into action great. You're on track if they find it stifling if they're not if they're running into trouble aw tracking plan because it should be very motivating exciting yet like I guess the leading my question Netflix told if someone's what can we do they eddie benefit being able to leverage your knowledge and if kind of approaching this by themselves and overwhelmed by the number of choices tonight a process to kind of just design Ni- that's definitely not for nate three classes right so you can start looking eliminate Bingham. If you have no entrepreneurial experience and entrepreneurial desires you can throw it out the door right if you don't have if you don't want to save your way to wealth over a lifetime of earning compounding ending than paper assets may not be a viable strategy unless you have a very high income or you're very good saver if you're really gonNA Freak -ality right than paper assets can be workable so so you could eliminate that unless you're frugal you have extremely high earnings and you don't feel a desire to live lavish lifestyle right because in order for paper assets to work in a reasonable frame of time. You have to save a very high percentage of your income so either. You have a very high income like I did when I ran a hedge fund or you've spent very little so that's the paper acid facet category. If you want to do it in ten years like you were saying if you otherwise you have to go to real estate and business and so some people get are very open a business and business entrepreneurship ship some people. Are you close that one single heist probably success categories real estate and that's because it's intuitive the average average person who lives in a house can look at a neighborhood enough. It's good or bad they can look at construction without great construction background enough. There's deferred maintenance or not they know what makes a good home a good floor plan so it's very intuitive whereas paper assets of very counterintuitive. They work almost opposite what your intuition does us so again. You know you kind of have to look at what you can bring to the equation and then start eliminating based on what your predispositions are visit helpful. Does that narrow it down. Some does it does indeed brings me on tape. Is this what leverage sidelights on stem from Utah. What is what is leverage average in your definition and other different types of leverage what different things that can be leveraged to help you build wealth. Yeah see referencing book leverage equation. which was an outgrowth of it's literally two lessons in my course that each contain? I don't know there's like ten videos or something like that eleven videos in there around leverage and so what I got to back up a second to explain this okay in conventional national financial planning a paper assets in paper assets. They have very limited risk management capabilities. You mainly have diversification with conventional assets a conventional financial planning but there's more things you can do with advance paid strategies but very limited risk management and then you've got a almost leverage opportunities. You can only apply financial average which is very dangerous. It's the only type of leverage that cuts both ways in his dangerous and I wouldn't. I wouldn't encourage anybody to use financial leverage in traditional asset allocation sufficiently. There's no leverage opportunities for practical purposes. So then what happens is you go into what I call the Advanced Planning Framework Doc Netflix. You bring in the other two asset classes which is real estate and paper in on our business entrepreneurship now. The characteristics of that is when you bring the though oh traffic classes there's all kinds of creativity you can do to apply them and that includes leverage and so what that does is that changes the expectancy formula so the whole idea. Eh Events many framework is that again your wealth growth is determined by your expectancy falling rights of probability times payoffs will real estate has a single highest probability ability of positive payoff business entrepreneurship has a low probability is everybody knows is a high failure rate in business but you can manage it in a way to pay off the equation is extraordinarily favourable and that's through like. Lee Startup principles and other ideas you're probably familiar with and so if you approach it from an expectancy framework and you understand in how to do it you can manage any advanced planning framework extraordinary high probabilities an high payoffs which results in rapid wealth growth and so oh when. I teach leverage what I'm doing is I'm teaching the positive pay off side of the equation so it's how you multiply what you can do in two asset classes so you're going beyond just the limits of your personal resources of time and money rights you apply other people's money you apply other people's time answer employment apply other people's networks you apply advanced marketing principle so you're leveraging other people's c-rv influence influence and on on on so there's five now six total types of leverage that are covered in the teaching at it's all about how you build wealth by by using resources other than your own and so that's the principle behind leverage is going beyond your on resources. You have two children and I've I've I've listened some of your out of pocket costs wave about passing on some of the principals in the information and sometimes they wanNA listen maybe sometimes right but for many vallas now we'll see we'll have children and bringing. This knowledge through the ages is of course reading pulls him. He has so many people talk about. Why is this not tortoise. Go was your opinion on this. Why it's not time school schools not designed to make people rich schools designed to serve at that function. I mean schools designed to create a functional educated Classic Kids I. I don't know the reason why it's not you know I mean. I had my thoughts on it. I don't think they're all that relevant or important. I think the more important thing is how do you pass on this education to your kids and you'll you know I've ever seen that works to walk the Doc. your kids learn from what you do and they will. They learn far more from what you do than what you say and they will pick up on a contradiction between what you saying what you do very quickly as an example might use of the phone. I may not like what they do with the phone but then I sent I tend to overuse it myself and so they will oh call me out on it regularly but in terms of walking the talk with finances. I guess I'd done pretty decent with it because the kids do it and so I've seen them like in how they purchase clothes how they build a wardrobe how they shot for an airline ticket how do things they're pretty savvy about. Got It and even like now we had four drivers in household with two cars over the summer because my daughter came back from college and my daughter is a teenager and we managed with two Karzai. Nobody was complaining. You know it's like we just worked it out with four drivers in the household that's kind of crazy but then everybody managed occasionally use uber and I rode my bike a bunch. I walked some places. You know friends would pick us up. We just need at work because I I didn't pick up karston summer. It's just a waste wasteful thing to do do that. So I don't know is that it's an answering it. You walk the talk you just you go through decisions with them in real time and you work through them and they build a pattern in how they think about money and how they value it yeah and I guess just simply find the principles which you've shed ready to die and embedding them to some degree. Okay without preaching to your children about you. This is what you have today well. Some of it's not even applicable yet. They're not even in the wealth-building part yet. I I mean one's a software college and the other is Jean. High School is a record this it's not part of the framework so I don't shove it down their throat. The only part that's it's part of their mental framework right now is spending money and how you get good value for spending money and how you create amount you spend with what it costs you to earn it. It like all that really basic personal. Finance stuff is where their head is at now. It's rather interesting. My daughter is a video production major in College College in so she was actually producing the video testimonials for my course of summer which was really interesting right because h what's that that never age well. She's earning money and it's deductible to the company. She needs the money in it. It's all good business right and good experience for her. 'CAUSE nastiest product the show but he was funny. She point story was not bad boy. The story was she came back to me and actually that is story right because I'm walking the talk. She's she knows exactly what undoing this tax deductible. It's way to get money for I get value for from the business by his flexible job for her so she could suffer fun for summer in Yuccas. She doesn't Zap reporting each days of US anyway so yes. She got a lot of principles that way but then he was funny. She came back to me. She goes. Hey Dad because I've I've been in. Those testimonial videos in your core sounds pretty interesting. I think I'm GONNA WANNA take some time. Wow Okay so you know who cares what dad has. It's the same but what these other people said about dad is interesting is that she special discount rates low until she yeah she'll probably get the family friends and family this gun on that that one Kris Okay Hey. I'm Joel Stanton Brown. Hi this is Perry Marshall and you're listening to escape escape the rat race radio radio radio. You'll sharing your principles talk and teaching people how to take control of around financial future and deny uncouth. Thank you for doing that. However so many people as we've just said you know they may be have never learned about this at school then they into job in their in the big big wide world road and then perhaps if I win contact with a financial advisor or retirement planner you know what some of the problems that they might encounter county fairs that anything that you can help our listeners wave who may be are engage with these people and just taking the information but as as we said no really taking control of it themselves to understand yeah I haven't made any big secret out of my discontent for the the financial planning profession on average I mean there are exceptions of some extraordinarily good financial planners people who hold their clients best interests at heart and have true knowledge at how the business works the wealth-building business out is but by and large that's not true and so the whole reason I got in this business business was because when I ran a hedge I was dealing with clients and I saw what was going on with the financial planning side of stuff and it was atrocious and it's never really resolved itself into the state assessment some improvement with feeling financial planning and there's been some other changes that have helped basically the whole reason I bill a financial education. Education business was to balance out what was going on financial planning citing financial planning. Here's the thing only do business with people to add more value later life than they cost if they put more money in your pocket than they cost you in great and so take that filter to your financial planner and just see if he's going to add more money than it costs into your portfolio most will fail that you know and that's unfortunate and that's one of the reasons. I got in this business. Advice education only not financial planner investment products. Roddick's is that you know I believe that's just a valid thing you want to add more value to your clients than you cost them and so when you charge annual percentage of assets under management fees and you have cookie cutter manages systems and things like that which you have to have to run a business like that you know it's just it's tough so I did. I answer your question basically be careful. their their financial planning as a whole is a sales business not in investment investment management they they present themselves as investment experts but in general they farm out the investment management underneath them because they're busy gathering assets they get paid. Is they get paid by the amount of assets they manage as a function of the assets they manage again. I'm generalizing right. There's there's exceptions so have your eyes wide open understand what the businesses to sales business. Their job is to gather assets. They have generally as a whole not investment experts and they can be helpful awful. There's some things that can be helpful with but be careful. There's a lot of conflicts in biases and things that you have to watch out for so is is that helpful does that get you. Yes show and and Lincoln again is also just really looking at in terms of the costs of of the people around you also the cost of investments and charges and how how much that can eat. NCO returns right yeah and I've written on the subject. You could probably find an article mistake late to where it's not the it's not obvious all the fees you're paying a lot of the fees are hidden right and so you've got understand all the layers of fees involved in the financial planning freshen both would overtly shown the water hidden behind the scenes in built bill did other fee structures you know so you've really got to become an expert on the fees rise how much they cost you. I've got a video I give away on my site for free beacon in late to it. It's called how how you financial advisor is costing you seventy five for senator retirement income dot or more notice actually conservative at the Dakota seventy five percent of your income and I just go through the really simple math explains why that's true and it's shocking to people they just don't understand how at this stuff works and so when somebody says you know your financial advisers costing you seventy five percent he retirement income by on. I can't be possible right. I mean how could that work. He go through the math. It's obvious it's simple so that's explain a free video on the site again. You just gotTa understand this stuff and learn and educate yourself over. All of these resources that you'll arrive refined taught on definitely making sure that these will be available in Shannon is for today so anyone listening now just check out the links and then of of course I'm more information at the end of how you can get connected to you but we'll talk about the weather debts. Somebody wants to build wealth but maybe that feel like is bowling tain around there and CO of debt. What can you advise them help and intends a managing that so I teach not just this topic but almost all topics persson finance. I teach both the art and science right so the scientific answer to your question would be you either. Pay Off your debt or build wealth depends on. What's I'm GonNa give you the highest after tax return right so that's what you focus on his highest after tax return. That's the science not terribly useful one because you don't actually have a crystal the ball in the future so you don't actually know what the after tax return on the investment side will be but you do know the ACA tax return on the pay off debt side because you know what you're discussing you right so tough huffed away out that equation but that's the science answer. They get you the highest wealth promise. It doesn't really work that way. We aren't robots. We are a perfectly rational beings were emotional human beings and so it varies person to person what the correct answer is for some people it really makes sense to pay off the debt because they just feel that debt like expect a burden on their shoulders. They can't even think with it. It messes all their decisions. They have to have a clean slate to move forward except financial risk and do different things so for that that person pay off the debt might make sense for another personality. I cared the least about the debt right in so what they feel is. They've got to they they want to move forward if they're not moving forward and they're not building assets and not playing the game offensively and offensively. I don't be offense like rude. I mean offensively like offensive defense. That's right paying down debt. As defense paying building wealth is offense and so some people they have to be moving on the offensive side of the game in order to be excited by it and so for that person you go straight to building wealth because that's what excites them and he figured out how to build the payoff debt in behind it and so for people that want more on that. I've got an entire article on the subject that goes through in detail including the tax ramifications and everything. It's like excruciating detail. It's called payoff mortgage earlier. Invest in it's on the site and so that one is dislike. It goes every little detail the decision process and even explains how I've been on both sides at different points in my life like I had had a house with a mortgage when I didn't have to. I have the assets but my assets compound faster than the mortgage costs me right so I was playing a math equation on that one. Now I'm older. You know you can tell from the video. I'm an older guy now and so. I prefer to take a knee so like this house. Lee remodeled. I'm in right now. It's an old nineteen. Forties House downtown remodeled remodeled in fixed up that was paid off. We just paid it free and clear in so I don I don't want. I don't want the financial leverage. I don't want the mortgage and so it's emotional decision. It's not rational decision in that case so I've been on both sides offense and I disclosed it and explain it go through the whole detail. Is that helpful does that explain. That's great and I'm going to link to the article as well so that would be very useful and thanks for referencing the fact that we all recall Nissan videos because I often forget a Lotta people listening countrywide Humphry y chains on the Po cost for the headphones but yeah we've got the video going on today as well sake see told over Nevada I'm here in London and the beauty of technology analogy connecting us up here so as in. Oh not no technology so here. I'll throw that that's another good is just to be like amazed by things right because it just makes the day more Joel. It's amazing that you're in London right now. I'm in you know. We're talking real time in a conversation. It's just I mean. It's a video and it's getting recorded. The cost is almost I mean it's phenomenal unrated so that just makes the day more interesting right to just appreciate being ingratitude over the insanity of that alcohol is and then you go on listeners one hundred forty five countries that GONNA be checking this out if if next week will say Salvi. It's pretty amazing. SPRITE taught another thing that I think a lot of our listeners will be interested in and is actually how you've built this as no nine business. I've I've racing yes and then when you started out. Did you have any idea that it was going to grow you too late. Saturday and reach that you now achieving no I did not I had no idea at all. It started out. It was just a kind of a weird question. I had my mind is could I when I when I quote unquote air quote left but air quotes there on my head here when I air quoted retired at age thirty five which obviously it was a long time. It goes over two decades. AGO is still fascinated by personal. It's always have been it's just I'm a junkie for you know investing personal finance wealth-building and so I was still reading books on it and studying it even though I was quote unquote retired and in so what am I going to do so i. I wondered if I could actually help. Ordinary people create extraordinary financial results. I was like the question it was in. My head is was just unusual or do the principles insult that I learned in apply that figured out back when I decided I wanted engineer my way to wealth right and I didn't twelve years and I was like those principles be applied. It turned out about three quarters of a could in some of it couldn't and I was missing a whole bunch of stuff and I didn't know that until I started coaching people right and I started and finding all the holes my teachings about coaching. It's phenomenal is when you're on the when you're on the phone each week with the same person over and over your stuff enough you to work so they fire you right. They're not gonNA get on the on the phone and work with you if they're not producing results in pay the bills. It's not going to happen and so it's not like with a book where you're offering you get up on a podium in lecture people applied and you can walk away in your stuff can stink and nobody really says anything because it all sounds good with cooking gas to work mark it has to be effective and so. I started working with it as just a booty coaching practice. That's what's called financial mentor right. I tried to get financial coach. It was already taken in so it's financial mentor and that's because it was gonNa be just a Boutique Coaching Practice and then the coaching practice took off. I was oversold sold I had I kept raising raising the rates and there was a waiting list in the whole thing it was a good problem to have but it got out of control and then so I shut it down. I literally just shut the coaching practice down because there's no way for me to leverage it. There's nobody else can has the same knowledge and understanding background and some trying to productized tied right so I'm trying to put todd in a box and the knowledge I developed over the two decades coaching the decade of Hedge Fund investing put in a product form to where can reach more people at a better the price point and that's where growing the platform really kicking year right so originally it was just GonNa be a little a website for booty coaching practice and then it just expanded from there is the vision for it expanded yeah an end up saving now creating intellectual property for your courses and books and is united generating streams streams of income denied that says just the compound facts is net and the rage should sates. It's incredible so once again. Thank you for all of the content that you share. It really is phenomenal gentleman. Thank you thank you. I try you know it's you know some people really resonate with it and so that's what keeps me going and I told you set has the Gulf twelve bucks. How many e carney outside the seventh one is almost done so it's it's at just about fifty thousand words. It needs one more really tightening before I can take it to the most difficult part the whole process switches the content at it because that's when you send it to professional content editors and they come back and they tell you everything you did wrong and it's like you're done with the book and emotionally the baby is born and then the content of goes back and says your baby is ugly and these are all the problems with it and so it's really a difficult stage but that's where it's at now is it's basically written. I gotTa do one more edit myself and I go through two rounds of content at its dog. UGH Preussen there so that'll be a sound book. That'll be on management and so the titles risk management or investment resurgent and in subtitle will be how to make more by risking talking last and that's going to be a companion book to leverage 'cause leverages about how you make more right. It's how to ramp up. The Return Risk Management is how you control the risk and that's what tilts you pay off equation. Those two books are like bookends if you will or flip sides of the same coin and how you control the payoff equation Asian in expectancy analysis well everyone listening today that you're selling manny nice what he's talking about. Dennis people would like to guy and check out your website and don't see stopdown ninety some of the resources on knife a whole bunch of calculate Zeph went in. I had to talk so it's financial mentor. Dot Com is the website so two words Financial Mentor put Together Financial Mentor Dot Com and there's a ton of free resources. The paid stuff is the books and the one course. It's available Global Darfur do at the beginning of the interview Annette. Everything's Free so there's like eighty. Financial calculators 'cause wealth is math is I- looted to earlier but a lot of people don't like doing the Mathurin. They're not comfortable with it so he's calculator line do it for you. so there's eighty financial calculator all free and then there's I don't know thousand thousand printed pages of content and all free educational content that you can get so you have just come over and there's a mini course fifty two weeks to financial freedom so for new subscribers. I give away a a book called eighteen essential lessons of the self-made millionaire and then I also got giveaway mini course which is fifty two weeks to financial freedom and now you won't get rich and fifty two two weeks. It's a fifty two week process to set the stage for it. You know set the foundation for it and Tokens people who are in different countries around and welcome to the principals to start today's they translate across and old consonance. Yeah I get that question a lot. Actually about ninety five percent of it does for common law countries. You know the thing that doesn't translate as like U S Tax Law things like that and even then a lot of the US tax law is similar so you know Canadians have RSP. We have an IRA in. I'm not sure what the British have so. It's it's ninety nine percent translatable. The important stuff is the details might get missed so you know somebody has to read it with their own twist. I've got people from all over the world in the chorus and I've never heard one complaint of it being to US centric. I tried to be conscious of that. The books are more. US centric because that's where the bulk of the sales are but even then the principles of universal so much for the articles and as a huge amount of wisdom and knowledge that you shed told is incredible so thank you again. Thank you bike s one last question are which I was asked my guess is for those people listening right now and maybe a squashed up on the assign the traffic jam on their way to a from what and they really know that something bigger and better inside inside of the bed really really driven to achieve financial and personal freedom that something holding back to something stopping them and most like this fair. What would you say today's people listening right now until I ain't Nike said it will just do it. I know that sounds cheesy like us so cavalier. That's not going to get at the guy off the off the couch but here's the reality okay. We're all GONNA die than others right. I'm way older than you in and so you're going to die anyway. See Ms Live the adventure of life right and so you've got fears. You know what people will say fear of how you're going to screw it up fear of how you lose fear that you're not good enough. You're that you're not worthy. All these fears screw it. You know I had all those fears. I still have a lot of those fears you. You just do it anyway. You just start doing it and our tiny kind of learned that you're actually halfway decently competent but it comes I mean I started out with the I mean here. Here's a disclosure. The whole reason I built wealth in the first place is because of a lack of self confidence in you know just I was looking on. Hey I'm going to be successful in society terms. Now prove how good I am. I was starting to prove I was worthy of course once I got through that. I realized that improve anything at all. that's a side note so when I say everybody has those fears me included I do you just have to step into it and do it and the whole reason I can do. It is two things one I'd seen victor of life. I WanNa go to my grave with regrets of. Oh if I'd only tried this if I consider doing this fi gotten gotten off the couch that day when Todd said that crap rather than continuing to sit there right if I take an action rather than not I don't want to live with those regrets and so I'll just go take the action. 'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA work anyway right your life. You're gonNA spend working either way. See Missile worked towards what you want to create and then on top of that the other thing that allows me to take action is responding right which is lime coming out the book if you're doing careful risk management than your wealth is just a function sample size. I mean once you understand how to set your expectancy positive expectancy how to manage risk. You will get the end result. If you play the game aggressively enough in long enough you will we'll get there. It's a function of sample size. It's just a mathematical truth and so get going now and start your sample size now. Don't waste any more time so hopefully that's helpful helpful. Let's get todd. I've really read enjoys making me if you tonight thanks for base such great essence around the radio and I look forward to connecting again with you. Real saying thanks they sounded a Christian here and I want to invite you to join the escape. The rat race membership site completely lately for free. There's no hidden up cells all monthly subscription phase you can join with just a name and email address and inside yoga access to due following a free copy of my book sack your boss the ultimate guide to escape you'll nine to five over fifty video interviews of me and my guests on escape the rat race radio including people such as Seth Godin Perry Marshall Rob Moore and Chris Darker and the four video recordings from over thirty of my escape gate the rat race London meet up bent with world famous speakers covering a whole host of ideas to help you get your own escape plan plus us. I'm also going to give you a twenty five percent discount on my brand new five-step Freidan formula online course where I teach you step by step the the process. You need to follow if you're serious about breaking free of you'll nine five and starting a business which can give you the freedom to focus on the things things in your life which are more important to you. This is a collection of the very best content from escape the rat race. I could possibly pull together and it's oils also absolutely for free just visit. WWW dot e. t. off dot online forward slash free membership and start working on your escape plan right now.

todd US advisor Microsoft Utah Google Nevada engineer Joel Stanton Brown Reno Christian Rodwell Luzia Shen Termi Wall Street Journal Mike Yahoo
We Survived The Storm | With Ginnifer Goodwin

Modern Love

23:48 min | 1 year ago

We Survived The Storm | With Ginnifer Goodwin

"Modern love the podcast supported by xfinity. Some things are hard to control. Other things are easy. Like you're in home wifi with xfinity, X fi, you can set a wifi curfew change your password, and create user profiles all with the x five app. Another reason why xfinity is simple easy. Awesome go online. Call one eight hundred xfinity or visit a store to learn more restrictions apply. Need to unwind a bit kind world is here? Termi- job at all. That's good with a world with stories about transformative acts of kindness. Tune into new episodes, every Tuesday to add some positivity to your life. Subscribe, now on apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Produced by the island at WB. You are Boston. From the New York Times, and WBU are Boston. This is modern law. Stories of love loss and redemption. I'm your host chucker Marty. when you're dealing with the tragedy. It can feel like you do anything for an ordinary day, Monica was a loss, go felt like that once before she realized how challenging those ordinary days can be Jennifer. Goodwin reads Monica. Essay clinging to each other, we survived the storm. She's known for her work in big love and once upon a time, and you can see Jennifer in the twilight zone on CBS all access. every couple has the story. And this was ours. We were prepared to whether storms for a wedding. We skipped the tissue paper and cream colored card stock of standard invitations, instead weekly to photograph of ourselves swing dancing onto a black and white picture of stormy ocean waves. If marriage -ment sticking through the hardest times we believed we could do it barely out of our twenties. We thought we had seen enough of life to know. After all on the day. David asked me out for a date at the office where we worked, I told him my brother had just died. And my father was near death instead of fleeing David got down on one knee by my swivel chair and said that must be hard. For years. Our story suited us for years. It explained us as a couple. Despite our differences, I left books, he loved technology. I told stories he wanted facts, I needed a tidy house. He needed a clean one. We were team when it came to the important things in life that we paid attention to different details. We saw the same big picture life was hard being together made. It better this faith in ourselves kept a strong win three years from our wedding, the worst of all possible. Storms hit us with the birth of our first son. Sylvan. Healthy. Full-term Sylvan seemed perfect at birth olive skinned long lashed, and his handsome, as his father, that six hours later. The doctors knew something was wrong within a day. Something seemed seriously wrong. I the end of the week, we understood that Sylvan had been so completely brain damage during labor that he could not survive without interventions, and even these would ultimately prove futile. Left alone in the little room, where we had received the news, we turned to each other whatever happens. I said, don't let this ruin our marriage. We needn't have worried, not then in crisis. We were solid as a couple. Driving back and forth between hospital and home, our faces pale and puffed with tears, we barely had time to eat and sleep let alone put on our dancing clothes, but still we moved to a common rhythm. In sylvan's chart, the social worker noted this couple treats each other tenderly. She was watching us. Everyone was. With Sylvan on life support with every day, a new decision about how to treat him, they were all making sure we were quipped to guide our son through how ever brief a life and we were whatever petty arguments. We might have had is new parents over car seats, strollers, and baby bottles shrunk away. To care for Sylvan. We cared for each other to love Sylvan. We loved each other to with life. So unbelievably tenuous we paid attention to what mattered. For thirty eight days, nothing. Mattered more than are left for Sylvan like any parents love struck with their newborn? We stroke to skin sniff, his loamy head and marveled at his starfish hands. But unlike ordinary parents who hold hope for a future adult within their love for a child Sylvan as a newborn was all we had knowing our time was brief. We loved him fully in the present. He taught us how to do that. For all our rage and grief joy overwhelmed us in his presence for thirty eight days. Sylvan was our life. And then once he was gone, the habit of new left continued. On a reverse sort of honeymoon grief. United us stripped of petty complaints. We felt grateful for everything for waking up to sunlight on the bed for each other's hands beneath the sheets with the dark humor of comrades and suffering. We called any kind of parenthood of than what we had endured parenting, light. We held our child until the end. After that, what could be so bad about having to change three dirty diapers in a row at the SU what parent could resent to child staying home from school with the flu. If we were lucky enough to be parents together, again, we figured we would never complain about anything. Ten years later. Monday morning at eight ten. There seemed plenty to complain about for starters. We had overslept outside a bitch a-all morning fog failed the street inside miles and Ivan now eight and six wrestled over a cardboard box in our little front hall, David was yelling at them to stop wrestling. I was yelling at David to stop yelling and the boys were just yelling in fifteen minutes. I was expected at the school for career day to talk to first graders about my life, as a writer, ten years from the death of Sylvan. I had published a story and fact my memoir, had only just arrived forty eight copies and box. So heavy, we had left it right. Or the postal worker had plunked down. And it was over this box that miles in Ivan now wrestled. With a scowl David pulled the boys apart. He asked miles where his shoes, were when miles didn't know David blamed me. I reminded him that he had misplaced the children's homework. He said he was heading out. I said, I should be the one to go ahead. So there we were trapped in the front hall together behaving as if marriage with children, which we had worked so hard for was almost uninsurable. When this happened to us back when we had vowed to stick with each other through sickness and health. We had imagined crises requiring her roic nursing not the patients needed to endure, the simple sound of another person snotty nose back, then for better or for worse sounded like a long term challenge, not something that could happen on a daily basis. In the months after Sylvan died. We hit still been tender with each other in the first two years of miles, as life, the same, and even after Ivan was born in exhaustion, flattened us, we had still been grateful team knowing that the effort of keeping toddler and newborn out of trouble with temporary and essential in something we were lucky enough to do, but under the growing wait a family, logistics everything, but the mundane had been squeezed from us until all our interactions from good to bad seemed reduced as miles, once put it in his eagerness to join in to talk about stoves and beds. Clearly, we needed to get past the front hall miles in Ivan were circling the box again ready to wrestle I grabbed each boy by an arm at school. They were working on writing small moment stories about their own lives. Proud of my book. They had wanted me to come in read a passage from the end where the four of us play together happily in the backyard sun, they had grinned to see themselves in print for miles in Ivan, my memoir, seemed simple. I was sad about Sylvan dying, but happy about them. As we struggled together in the front hall. However, I felt the distance between us in that happy, ending ten years on, we were living something almost harder to describe something, less, dramatic something so common people hardly ever talked about it. We were in the midst of an ordinary life. Separated from each other miles found his shoes, Ivan put on his sweater. I shooed them onto the porch where David stood impatiently jiggling, his legs in its quixotic way, the fog was already thinning at the end of the block. The sleep blue outlines of trees were filling in with green. Ivan was disappointed. He had wanted to walk blind through the fog miles wind about the coming heat and said he should have worn shorts. I asked to full it was that we were now seventeen minutes late. David said that if we couldn't stop complaining we should walk the rest of the way without any talking at all. The threat worked in the silence that descended even our footsteps sounded content. I clutched my book to my chest. Sometimes it seemed as if loving Sylvan had been the best thing about us as a couple. But this wasn't our only story up at the school. I was going to tell children that to. Right. They just needed to pay enough attention to their lives. But I had been forgetting to take my own advice. Sure, we were together, still taking care of two children when the sea seemed calm and it wasn't easy. In fact, parenting light was almost the hardest thing we had ever done in part because we didn't know how it would end. But how lucky that we didn't how lucky to be in the midst of it all? Just then David noticed the son. He pointed up from branch to branch of the tree overhead pale. Light seemed to drip, like paint toward us. It was a small moment. Ordinary easy to miss. But when we stopped to pay enough attention. It belonged. Jennifer Goodwin. Reading Monica was Alaska's. Essay cling to each other. We survived the storm catch up with Monica right after this. Modern love is supported by xfinity. Some things are hard to control like over caffeinated co workers other things are easy to control. Like you're in home wifi with xfinity X. Fi one curfew change your password, and create user profiles all the x fi at another reason, why xfinity is simple easy. Awesome go online. Call one eight hundred fifty or visit a store to learn more restrictions apply. It's been five years since Monica's piece was published, and over a decade since her son Sylvan died. He would have been sixteen this year, and that was a real shocker for me. I think for any parent, I somehow that's a really significant age. And so each year, I know he would have been a year older, and I've, I don't spend a lot of time thinking, oh, we would have been doing this or he would have been doing that. I accept that he's gone. But something about him turn the fact that he would have been sixteen actually punched me in the gut. I could imagine him suddenly as a person about to launch in the world. His birthday is April twenty seventh his death days June fourth every year for the six weeks. I'm a little bit emotionally up and down. And I think it must be that buried grief or that way that the body kind of remembers what was happening sixteen years ago and how awful those days were, and how at the same time I would love to have a second to hold him again. Monica told us that her second pregnancy with her son miles was very different that her first. In my first pregnancy, I would walk around and enjoy the way that the world celebrated my pregnancy with me, and the second time people would come up and do that thing that they do. Well is this is this? How far along are you? Is this your first baby? And I couldn't I'm a super honest person, and I just could not lie. So I'd say no, it's my second. My first one died, people really backed away for me. But it was the only way that I could figure out how to deal with it. And I had some really lovely conversations with people because of that. She says the first week after miles was born was the hardest. I would just hold him and I would cry about self. It was really strange because I missed Sylvan and I was very in love with miles at the same time I was very relieved after the first week something have lifted and I started to believe that miles was really here and that kind of hesitant around him lifted. Monica's kids are fifteen and twelve now and she and her husband have been married for more than eighteen years. What interested me in the peace was exploring the way that David and I have this kind of mythology about our ability to deal with hard times by mythology. I don't mean necessarily that it's not true. It is true, but it doesn't necessarily service during ordinary times, and I wouldn't say that we're a couple that speaks to each other in the tenderest way, I feel like we are often frustrated with each other often brusque. We are very different from each other, as I say in the piece. And so in ordinary times that's really obvious. So I guess that line, the best of us came out in crisis. It's true. That was the best of us. And. Sometimes we have to use that as a touchstone to remind each other to be kind to each other in ordinary times as well. And Monica has found that the pressures of ordinary parenting have eased as our kids of grown. I am finding that parenting older kids is not soul-sucking in the same way for me, just because my kids, give me a little more space. I had such a hard time with having my entire physical and kind of mental world consumed by young children. And now they've given me just a little bit of space. I feel that I'm returning to myself. And Monica says her essay reminds her of something important to. All of life is pretty rough. I mean, we're working hard and some of us are suffering far more than other people. But all of us, I think are able to get through it if we pay attention to those very small moments because those tiny moments that are fine art to be valued because you never know what's going to happen the next second. That's Monica was Alaska, she's the author of holding Sylvan a brief life. She's at work on a picture book, now she lives in California with her family. More right after this. The fact that in two thousand nineteen were having this debate about measles, vaccine, makes my head want to explode, which is tennis. Strange really strange place in the only people speaking up the parents, endless thread, the podcast from WB. You are Boston's NPR station and read it brings you a special series on the history of vaccines in anti Baxter's subscribe on apple podcasts, or wherever you listen. Here's Daniel Jones editor of the modern love column for the New York Times in our marriage vows. You know, we often talk about sticking together through the worst and through the tests that marriage and parenthood than family throw our way. And this s a really turns that on its head and the worst for them brought them together. And then she contrast that with the sort of mundane routines of marriage and parenthood. It was just one of these words. It's sorta surprised me as I'm reading it to see, you know, how true that can be with different couples, and it's a sort of indifference in a sort of heading us, the container apart relationship more than tragedy. And here's Jennifer Goodwin. I'm unsure what? The effect of this piece would have been on me before I was a mother. But now that I have two children. And no, the ordinary Monday day, very well. I found this so re-centering and I had a lot of trouble getting through it. I found it so upsetting. And that's exactly why felt I needed to tackle it. Thanks again, to Jennifer. For reading this week's piece you can see her now in the twilight zone on CBS all excess. She'll also be starring later this year. In why women kill and Dolly Parton 's heartstrings, next week, Jacki Weaver. I have been single for twenty four years just putting that ring on my finger filled odd almost embarassing. As later, it would be difficult to say my husband or Fordham selfishness Jim's wife to me, marriage, meant trouble Fadia pain. Why risk that again? Modern love is a production of the New York Times and WB. You are Boston's NPR station. It's produced directed and edited by Caitlyn O'Keefe original scoring and sound design by Matt read. Iris Adler is our executive producer. Daniel Jones is the editor of modern love for the New York Times, and visor to the show special thanks to Samantha Hennig on your strumming and mealy at the New York Times the idea for the modern low podcast was conceived by Lisa Tobin additional music, courtesy of APM, I'm magnetron wordy, cenex week.

Sylvan David Monica Jennifer Goodwin miles New York Times Ivan Boston xfinity CBS apple Alaska Termi chucker Marty. Daniel Jones Dolly Parton editor NPR Jacki Weaver
149 - The Art of Sexting w/ UPSAHL

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1:21:15 hr | Last month

149 - The Art of Sexting w/ UPSAHL

"Immune. Hello, baby. Hello my love. Ready to talk about some sex. Yes, please. All right well. You know I mean. Get talking. Haven't haven't had any in. Over a week, so don't really know what to talk about. I. Don't know anything about sex. Really are almost completely forgot what it was what it meant. Until it had some, and now I forget again. But yeah, it's I. It's weird. 'cause like we're today. Today is Tuesday June something. It's like the middle of June. Sixteenth Sixteenth. and. Here in Halifax. We're going on well. It depends on what happens today, but I think I think if today is the same as yesterday. Excuse me Jesus. We will be on our seventh consecutive day with no new cases. Maybe, it's six anyway we're. We're coming up on a week of no new cases here. Nova Scotia which is like. A pretty promising. It's like a really. Exciting thing. Yeah, and again. It's like it's making me have all these thoughts about like you know. How do I? How do I? Reintroduce myself back into the dating world, or how do I reintroduce myself back into the I mean fuck even in the like social world you know. But. But I'm feeling. I'm feeling like really light. I'm feeling really hopeful. I'm feeling really. I'm not feeling as much like dread and gloom and doom as I was. A little wild back. That's good. That's gotTA. Do Wonders for your just like the way you're carrying yourself through your day? One hundred percent yeah. That's great, so that's nice. That's nice. It's funny like we'll get I'll get messages, or we will get messages from people who are listening the show, but they're like. They're like six weeks back. Or you know they're like they're like two months back. Yeah, and they're sending US messages being like holy. Fuck this is super weird. To be listening to you guys in like late March and knowing what's coming ahead. Knowing How fucked twenty twenty will continue to get. And And it's it's just A. Beat a dead horse, but it's just while the think of how fucking crazy this year's been. It is it's crazy that it's June. Kazakh were were halfway through twenty, twenty and January twenty twenty felt like two seconds ago. I've said it before on the PODCAST, but like. Todd left on our road trip. The middle of December and I feel like I'm still. On the trip I'm still tripping. Just has not been a because. You haven't been home. In here. This is this might be the longest. We've been part. Well I yeah, yeah, with with no, you don't think now because I was I was home in March remember I. Was There With My Dad? Yeah, yeah, for short period of time, but like a week I think I think like? I. Don't know we spend a Lotta time apart anyway, but like I think this is definitely been the most amount of time within. Within a window. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, the the. You know the world just. A you know an end like my grandma died in December, and then my other grandma died in February and then my dad just died and. The end like covert, and and the the new like civil rights, movement and like. It just feels like it's accelerating still to me. You know in a in a really, but mostly in a positive and hopeful way. Well, it's going to be interesting to see what happens, you know. but I don't know how to transition here. transitioning out of that out of that. And more into Termi on very excited about today's episode. We are talking with A. Up, and coming Would you call her popstar? I feel like Popstar has has such a has a has A. Comes with. Maybe this is just like me but I feel like the the word pop star comes with like a certain. Baggage! Yeah I guess I don't know like. Her music is a hat on a man I'm. Just buttering. Hold on fuck sake streaming. You can do it, you know. Cutting this this is this is stupid. But. It's actually not stupid because I because. I thought you might go with that is like is. We can come up with a new word for for imagine if we took all the words that are like super loaded with all kinds of meetings that we may not mean when we use them like pop star and give them a completely new name. And the reason the reason I say that is because I'm I'm reading a book right now. That is like yeah. We can say penis and Vagina where we can say this mess pussy. Back. Why do you hate those words? Cock I. DON'T MIND IT I. Don't like it I don't like. Why do you not like that back Who says it like that, I wouldn't like that either if someone said like that. A drunk man from Staten Island new, just like fucking woke up from A. Not far off. Got I. DON'T I don't mind the Word Pussy? People hate the word Pussy. It's. What it's I mean to be honest with you. It's probably old. You know it's probably just old. Baggage of leg look. I'm telling you right now, but I feel it is not. It doesn't do it for me. Those words don't do it for me. Okay so then. Okay so let's see like Yuck. No, I don't like Yoni. There's very. There's very often no sense, no offence to anyone who likes the word, but I think the word Yoni is is well. It's this I. Think it's an Indian word. I think it's the word I. Think like I'm in this book, and this book is dated I'm sure but like some of the language, and is GonNa dated but. She uses the Word Yoni. Showing that word and. Is that is that the technical like? Indian term. I don't know if the well. Let's look it up here. You know you're like I. Don't like you only. have to like I don't like. I am not going to call my pussy a Yoni either love the you. Put your face away from the mic Wednesday. What's? What do you call your? Do you just like to call it vagina? Vagina the Jonah but I wouldn't be like you know. I wouldn't be like giving someone instructions in the moment or like requesting that someone film Vagina. Beat over Jonah. Who? I don't like any of I don't. Know What do I like a lot? Oh, what Yoni sometimes referred to as Pinned Dakota is an Anna conic representation of the Goddess Shock D in Hinduism. It is usually shown with Linga. It's masculine counterpart. Right I like Not Vagina. Yeah I. Don't think so I. Don't know this is Yoni from launch. Tony we can be. Put the word Yanni's Yanni is conceptualized as nature's Gateway of all births Oh shit! Okay! Yeah, okay, that's. Okay all right a little bit more on board with the only now okay, particularly an Esoteric Kala and Tundra practices as well as shocked and shove visit them. Traditions of Hinduism oh. Yeah, so you only is a Sanskrit word that has been interpreted, too literally mean the womb, and the female or of radiation. The womb, okay right so the womb so stop calling your Vagina Yoni. Well in this particular book, which is that I'm reading called. The Art of sexual ecstasy called a by Margot Anand. Yeah I. Mean This is she's. She's going for then she's like. Let's take out the words. She's not going to use words, penis and Vagina. She's using the is more like. Spiritual sounding words wrote. It's not it's. It's Contra. It's she's like on the leading experts entendre. CAULK. I'm looking for the word I think it's a Sanskrit word as well. I want to say it's some something like I'm looking in the page like something like. Raj. Raja or something like that I'm. Looking for it. but I can't find it. You know one thing I really appreciate about sound like past gas. We've had on the show especially, I. Guests who are. Like sexual educators or like people who are like. Like in the world of tantric sex You Know Jessica Graham Eva Clay. Who Else we've had a couple, but like when they're just talking. And then they all of a sudden, they just say cock, and like we're recording, and I looked and I kind of see you like. Almost like yeah, you're is Kinda like shiftily. The it a little bigger like whoa wasn't expecting you to say cock Yeah, well I mean when they say it's great. I love it when they said. Yeah Yeah. You don't WanNa. Say Cock. Car CAC CAC. It just so. It's so aggressive. We're the word count. Again it depends on WHO's saying. I think and and context of. Yes of course like in a sexy way. I like it. I also sometimes housing anyone use it in a sexy way. I don't think I've ever heard that now. Know if someone was like spit on my car I. BE LIKE! WHOA, I am. I be! I'd be. engorged, I think. Oh Yeah. I Love I love I love like I like really like. What's that like really? Yeah resounding language. Yes, yes, I, do I. Really Do I Love I love that and especially in the bedroom. I think that's really fun, but I've never heard someone. Say I've never heard someone who's. We're so different. You and I. That's why we're the best together. Baby, yeah! I mean well. I don't mean I like that all the time. All I like. I. You'RE NOT GONNA. You're not having sex talk in the like. It's hard for me to talk about one. It's not in in happened moment at the moment. Now, it's totally divorced from it. It's over there and it sort of smells weird. Yes, yeah, it's like when you've had too many pancakes and then. And then like the next day you're like. PANCAKES! I can't imagine the next time I'll ever eat them. And then like two days later. You're like I can't wait to have pancakes. Very similar, it's fine. I don't really like pancakes so but I do like sex, but what I want. What I want? Is. What I want is to feel. More Bliss and see. In. The every day. And That's what this book I think is is going to lead you like it's the. It's really like I read the intro yesterday and I was so turned on that I had to take a little break. Yeah, and the the contents are like it starts. It's super accessible, and she like entices you in with like this very super accessible languaging. This I'm just GonNa read you actually the this paragraph. While make this is the very beginning of the introduction, and the introduction is called the way in. While making love or just afterward, have you ever wondered? Isn't there more sex than this most of us have? Have you ever felt incomplete during sex because your partner has already landed before, you have even had a chance to take off. Have, you ever felt bored with sex in a long term relationship and find yourself wishing you could recapture the passion that used to make sex between you so exciting. Have you ever wished to be touched at the core of your being yet felt afraid to open yourself up and be vulnerable. Have you ever glimpsed an ecstatic moment in love and later felt that you didn't know the way back. If, you answered. Yes, any of these questions you sense intuitively the value of peak experiences in love, making those special moments, either preceding or during orgasm, when you feel transported beyond the limitations of your personal problems and preoccupations. Suddenly you are flying, you feel gloriously alive filled with light and laughter at home in a moment that seems to go on forever in a space that fills you with. It is these rare intense, often unexpected experiences at awaken fresh energies and inspire feelings of closeness and gratitude between you and your partner. Cool? Yeah, that's the. That's the intro. The yeah, that's the big. That's the beginning of the whole book and then come across associations on my sister. I'm took a night for myself at my sister's place in Charlottetown. She's gone back to British Columbia to be with the two little kids for for a minute and her. Eighteen year old daughter, my niece Arnie Sophia has just moved into her first apartment on her own. Dodds, outdoing flooring at his buddies plays so I'm year taken a night? Today's Myself Care Day. That I desperately need and I came with a part of your self care days the sit down and record. Yeah me, asking you why you don't like cock well. Talking to you is very important to me and it makes me feel good and Yeah, it's my self. Care Day. This is how starting aside from the fact that I woke up fucking hung over and I hate myself So drunk lots APP shut up. I know I was there i. don't need you to berate me for it. Believe me. Believe me I. I'm hard on myself enough without. So did you, are you? Are you going to? Are You GonNa Borough this book and read the whole thing. Yeah, I'M GONNA. Take the whole thing. She recommends you. Read it cover to cover before you start. It's a manual. It has like exercises in it And it. You know it was just on my sisters book as I picked it up and then I looked up the the author Margot Anand she's she's in her seventies now. She She's a French author and teacher in Seminar Leader in public speaker, and so she wrote this book, the art of sexual ex to see, and then she also wrote the art of every day ecstasy, which is. Kind of autumn after two and then the art of sexual magic. Button but if you go to her like website, which is the ECSTATIC ECSTATIC LIVING DOT com. The Ecstatic Living Institute, the first thing that says I mean it is her website, but. It says the world's leading authority on Entendre, so even though we may not have known her name back when we were talking to evoke lay, Jessica Graham I, bet. I bet they're like yeah, like the the number one handbook. Sure sure cool I'm excited to hear your thoughts on what you take away from that book. Maybe if you ever bring home or something that can read it to. Or, maybe I'll just by my own cocky your own copy. Yeah, speaking of sexual XY bride. There's a there's a story that I want to a news story that came out that I found very interesting. I think you will also find. Entertaining this is coming out of BBC news. About a sexual fantasy. Gone wrong. Men Hired for sexual fantasy. Break into the wrong house. This is coming out of This is a story of New South Wales Australia and the sex fantasy gone wrong to men with machetes entered the wrong house in new. South Wales area before quickly realizing their error, one of them has now been acquitted of entering a home armed with a weapon in July two, thousand nineteen. This is almost a year ago exactly. They had been hired to carry out a client's fantasy, being tied up in his underwear and stroked with a broom. Stroke I I don't. I, not sure how you stroke someone with BR I. Wonder if they meant pegged like if they if they if they mean pegged broom, but they just didn't put that. Her, no, those are very different. I sure hope they communicated about it, and they knew what they were supposed to be doing. Because if you were like, just brush me lightly with my with my floor mop. And then they rammed you. Well Yeah. Yeah Yeah Yeah. You're totally right, but what does that mean stroked with a broom? Like how the fuck do you stroz broom this? No me and they're talking his car and they're talking about. Sorry. They're talking about his men known is his his his his. Or. Did you call it manhood? They're talking about his manhood bride okay? Yeah, just you know just on his rash. Welcome face. This is the action Oh hand is a broom and. I don't have a manhood. Right. The judge concluded that. The judge concluded that. The facts of this case are unusual. The role play was arranged over facebook by a man near Griffith. New South Wales who provided his address to the hired pair. Quote he was willing to pay a five thousand dollars if he's willing to pay five thousand dollars. If it was really good, the judge said. However the client moved to another address fifty kilometers away without updating the two men. What. Dude Yeah, you like. Are, you know. Maybe he didn't. Maybe he was just like. Maybe he was just wasted one night. and was like. A couple of coming here, machetes and stroke me of the burn. That's why. He's fucking. Drunk doesn't make any sense. Yeah like. Ordered a sexual fantasy last night, and it showed up this morning I made have been very confused. Yeah, yeah, exactly. They're like we're here to stroke with Bermuda I. Don't even know what that May. When the resident noticed a light on in his kitchen at six fifteen, he assured it was. He assumed it was a friend who came by daily to make morning coffee. When the men called out the name of their client, the resident turn on the light and removed sleep apnea mask. He was wearing. Stop it! It was then that he saw them standing above his bed with machetes, which they appear to have brought, brought his props for the role play. This is this is where it gets really good. When they realized the error, one of the pair said sorry mate and shift the residents hand according to local reports, the two men then drove to the correct address. How the fuck would they know? What the correct addresses! They must've fifteen in the morning we're the client noticed. One man had a Gra a great big knife in his trousers and ask them to leave the weapons in the car. So, so they get there. They got machetes and the guy that that order the things like Oh fuck. OPS Don't ask for. I've asked for a good old Bram stroker's. Fuck. They carried them a stat machetes. Either as a prop, or or something to us in the fantasy, said the judge the fantasy was unscripted, and there was discretion as to how it could be carried out the lawyer Terence Leroy one of the accused said it was a commercial agreement to tie up and stroke, a semi, naked man, and his underpants with a broom entry was not with intent to intimidate. I am looking at. Tears. That's got it. Sometimes I read these this. Is BBC news like? Is this fake. Just sound so fake now i. don't think so he's he's been tarit. fucking poor terrence Leroy. Well he got. Thought you just fucking look something up. That said he got. Charged with like no, no not guilty. Yeah, he's been found not guilty I think I'm reading the same. I'm reading the same. Article that you just did well, you know what folks? That when I lived in England, when we would see Canadian news on in the back of the newspaper essentially, and it was just like Canadian kid gets stuck in a tree like I. Remember a this being like this is how our country is seen. By people that are not from our country. This is how we're represented outside of our own. Our own country and And I'm sure that'd be Berlin. Whale of whales are just like our for Fuck Sake. May. I I wasn't even planning to hit this but BRI would a perfect segue. I wonder what I wonder what you might think now if you were a kid and looking at the news coming out of our country today. Because yes I. You know I'm used to seeing that. I was used to see in that Kinda shit growing up like these like fluff pieces, or like these little things where it's like bowl like bullied into well was say bye, bye, three construction workers like reading, or whatever and you're like wow like. Crazy crazy like that's what's happening in Canada. Meanwhile. It's like like Iraq's getting bombed. By the US. CAN President Bush. Will this article? Yo CBC I. Don't Know What what's up with CB's. But they are re they must be. Really digging a hole pollyanna everything because they keep putting up these poly articles and somebody high of the must be just. Must be live in that. Yeah. They're like. Wow, there's a lot of like shit. We don't really talk about. What can we sort of? What's the safest thing to talk about like poly-amorous? Let out of all things to talk about is like the safest thing to talk about. Oh contrary, my friend really. Oh, yeah, have you not read so CBC? Did an article piece about us? Our poly-amorous relationship and I in the comments I'm not talking about the trolls. No, they're not trolls. May this these are just like fucking regular Canadians that are flabbergasted and can't fucking like can't wrap their head around. The Beta cuck that just sits and watches. Wife gets banged by his boyfriend. That's the that's the way that they fucking perceive the whole scenario the whole situation according to these comments, but this just came out polly emery during a pandemic. It's complicated. This is the title of the CBC Article That came out. June fourteenth now I haven't read this article. Actually have no idea what the fuck is in this article and I'm not going to go into it but they I mean I'll read I'll read it later. I'm sure and and maybe it'll be interesting, but you know it's a scrolling through. It seems that they're talking about know different types of relationships strain, which I'm definitely feeling right now these. Gauging risk again something that I'm dealing with right now. Doing what's right and safe that kind of thing, so it's a yeah. It's all very interesting, but. The comments on this fucking article. Holy smokes. Do you have any favorites? I'd have to go to facebook to find. I'm just on CBS's actual website, but I I was reading through it and I just. Personally I find it really funny like I. I I love seeing. Outrage on facebook. And like seeing arguments on facebook I love reading at. Do Love so fucking. Absurd to me that people actually spend their time doing, but I guess it's probably absurd to someone listening to this right now that I take time to to just laugh at it while I volley scroll through and read. But it's just so fucking. Dumb people are so dumb. So dumb. Fuck in doing dummies. Like what are you doing? Sitting at a fucking keyboard and getting into an argument with some guys, fucking uncle, who lives in like Fort mcmurray. Who gives a fuck like what is with you? But I read it. So I! Don't know man I. Don't I'm probably just as much a part of the problem. Yeah Yeah I mean. Yeah I don't. I can't. I can't spend any more time on the Internet. I'm. I think I'm almost done. Yeah like. Well that's not. That's not gonNa work for this podcast. No, no, no, no, no I mean. Here's the thing I just realized. You know you know like with my with my book. Club my untamed book club. You know two weeks have gone by and I haven't maintained that account and it's I've there's other shit took to pay attention to you right now and so you know it's just like. I'm waking up and and. To My instagram accounts I of which I have several and. Personal and business and like hobby, and and then I teach yoga online and all of this definitely. I take a lot of space online and for an end. And and the first thing that comes to mind honestly about about all that is like. It literally it's not just in space. You know it's actually. I I'm I'm I'm cleaning out my grandparents house cleaning out a lifetime of hoarding and storing and keeping everything, and then I get on my fucking laptop, and it's almost out of space, and I'm like what the fuck my storing year. What the fuck is the cloud I don't know, but it's holding things for me I guy pay for Google drive. It's holding things for me. I got all of these like instagram accounts at somewhere exists, it exists physically in a very it's. It's relatively small space, but it's a space of storage that I'm taking up and it's not like. Quote. Costing, me anything but it's costing. Some one something it's costing like the health of the planet and it's costing. You know somewhere. Some somebody died, so I could have a cell phone. You know like I'm just getting so. Oh You're going to be a lot. Less than a year while. You're just going. To towards that light luddite light, if I can afford to get, I mean it's like a very privileged thing to say that I don't want to use the Internet anymore but. Certainly is. All right, well, listen. Enough of all of this, let's get. Let's get to the fucking heart of what this episode is all about? Our friends. MAKES PEOPLE OR FRIEND UP ABSOL COM to get that. Come together the up and coming. Pop artists from the US fucking killing it She's got a number of. An number of tracks out there that you can go listen to by looking her up, but. we are going to play this episode out to one of her latest singles, one two three four five sacks. Is the title of that. Song and so. If you listen all the way through you'll hear this jam at the very end of the episode and it is. Like so again, I the reason I was having a bit of struggle earlier with the whole thing is i. don't typically. Consider myself to be a fan of Pop music. But I really like absolved music CA. I also I also really like ups I. This is another one of those fucking episodes where I'm just a bumbling. Dumb because I'm having. Eyelashes! This beautiful lady. so so enjoy this episode. We have a lot of fun with it. Up, solves really great and again stay stay to the very end of the episode. We're going to play out to the track. One, two, three, four, five, six and actually not play into this episode with little teaser of it, so you get ally, and if you want the rest of it, the listen to. The episode. Great. Fantastic let's do this I love. You can read Joe is. Still Going Okay I. Love You, too. and. And enjoy this episode. Shays. Food. Is for. Up? Discharges. well, this is GonNa be really fun. We're sitting down with her new Taylor. Up Salt Aka up salt. The the pop darling of Phoenix. How are you? How how's how's life? In during the Zombie Apocalypse were you I'm good. Thank you so much for having me I'm really. Be doing its life is interesting. I feel like everyone doesn't really know what to do with all this time and we're. Crazy but I'm I'm definitely China. Stay positive, you know. Yeah, yeah, it's it's. It's bizarre time for sure. You are I feel like you're kind of you're doing what? A lot of people that I. Know have kind of done you. You typically live in L. A., but you've. You've gone back to your hometown to Corentin up with your folks in Phoenix. Brought you're you're kind of doing the same thing you're? Hunker down with your mom there on Prince Edward Island. I am just at our house. which is you know which is Nice How's it? What's it like been? What's it been like kind of moving back in with your folks? It's interesting. I, it yeah, it's been weird because I moved out of my parent's house to La. Nineteen, in have lived there for like two years I feel like. It's the I never really thought I would like have the chance to like. Move back in with my parents. I guess so. It's interesting 'cause I'd like. I didn't realize different. My life was in la when I'm living on my own versus autism at my parents house, but I'm kind of loving Emma. Mom Cooks dinner every night like I. Get to hang with my family like it's pretty dope and I know like. I feel like I'm always so busy, so I hard to like. Make time to see my family so I'm just trying to like. Take advantage of all this free time I. Guess just like Chill was my parents that you know funds. Yeah, I feel like some of the the the like. I. Keep telling my nieces and nephews like make lots of good memories with your brothers and sisters because I feel like as a someone who likes hanging out with my family I. Would I really valuing that time as well just like? Put some. Some good feelin vibes in my vault for Rainy Day I. Yeah I I've been having this conversation with the number of people who like who have moved back in their folks moved back in with folks and I'm hearing like I'm hearing a lot of the same kind of sentiment of like. You know, it's kind of Nice to reconnect with family. And then I'm also hearing a lot of like. Yeah. It's kind of hard. 'cause like I can't use my vibrator. It's too loud I I like I'm trying to like discreetly. Have phone sex with people at night and it just like it's, it's just not. It's not a vibe that I'm doing right now. Feels wrong to to like my. Bad Yeah, I totally feel about. It's so funny, yeah! I that is that is something that I. I'm glad that I don't have to be too worried about and he brought. You're not you're you're? You're us. You've got an airbnb like outside of your mom's place. So you're kind of you're set. Yeah, I mean it doesn't matter. It's still a weird time to be like getting down and dirty, because it's just like there's so much stress going on in the world, I'm pretty positive and I'm I'm pretty relaxed. I think but like. I think it'd be hard for us to just get to relax enough to like enjoy those kinds of acts right now, but. I'm definitely not hiding it from my parents, so that's. Yeah! Are you dating seeing anyone or in that scene at all? When all this went down I've been in like an on and off thing for very long time that has cut my life very interesting, especially like my sex life, because there's always like the break-up sex in the makeup becks, and then there's like the fun in between like. Right now during this teen in the inbetween, which is low key kind of nerve wracking. Though. Very Fun, because he kind of get to like play the game. You know with each other in life I. Don't know it's been interesting, but it also is hard because it's like. I feel like no one's really getting any during quarantine is not like I can go hookup with random people them not about the risk getting around the virus, so it's like yeah, it's definitely been a weird time to like. Navigate being in an on and off thing in like not getting laid is. Something I'm not used to, so it's weird. Yeah, it is, it's. It's super super weird, and it's also kind of fascinating though to see how people have been like. Like. Not Not, being held back by the the restrictions of quarantine, you know like like turning to turning to technology to. Find Branch out and find ways like we talked about this on the podcast Well we will have by the time this. But. I was just reading an article about this guy who who? He hosted an online like zoom based orgy now and selling a bunch of yeah, it was like a bunch of people that were like all right. Cool were like you know were I can't go to the sex club I'm missing my orgy time and so this guy was like I'm GonNa. Like put together a giant like fuck sess- and we'll all get together on here and he describes like the. The. It's actually really beautiful article because he describes the awkwardness of trying to like initiate the. How do you? How do you start an online orgy like when you're in person, it's it's maybe a little bit easier you. Someone starts kissing. Someone starts touching each other, and then next thing you know everyone's fucking, but on this it's like what do you do you just play. WHO WHO STARTS IT? Yeah, and then, and then and then, and then he you know he. He talks about how it's actually this experience actually like made him. He feels like he came out of it like a a better he feels like he will go into his next. Human to human connection experience as a better lover because he's become more. more present with like how important and how sexy and how valuable. Like communication. Through this medium of like trying to connect with someone as real as possible through a screen can like can then evolve into the way you actually connect with someone one on one when you're truly there, it's a really interesting article I love that I feel like yeah. I agree because I've never really. Done like the phone thing honestly until quarantine, and it's interesting because I feel like you're in an even more vulnerable place because you're like like a camera on you and you're like okay. Like how do I end? You do have to be like more clear about what you're what you're doing like. A Lotta Times I feel like when person to person like it's easy to kind of like. Hide behind just like doing random shit or like body language, but when? The fall and you have to be more clear, so I do agree I guess it like the like a confidence booster for sure. That's exactly what he was talking about. As well as how much of a confidence boost, it was for him to like for example for him to be told through the screen like. Oh You! Have you ever really beautiful deck or Whatever, whatever the thing was being said to him and how he like. And how deeply that sort of like touched him in like boosted his elevated. Lover. It's yeah. You're right in that. It does put you in a bit more of A. A more vulnerable position, because like we we, there is so much to be said for our ability to communicate with our without words in person you know like with our body language with with with like subtle touch or movement, or what have you? And it, it's kind of it. It is a little bit of a cop out Utah like direct vocal communication, especially, because not everybody is really skilled at reading body language. Some people are really really bad at it. and. It's like. It's it's like almost a and maybe it's not other bad at it, but it. Maybe it's like the kissing thing like maybe this person on a bad kisser, but we don't. Do a good kiss together I'll. Agree with I I'm just hypothesize Andrew speaking out loud. I want to be kind because I. Don't want to say anybody's bad at kissing her bad at sex, but like. Maybe we're just on compatible, yeah. I yeah. Okay! What are your thoughts? No, no! You can be bad at kissing. I think some people are just look I. Get it like there is for sure like a compatibility thing you know. Some people are like I love drowning in someone else's tongue, and some people are like yeah. I like like minimal tongue. That okay, sure, but there's there's definitely like A. There's definitely a line where you're like. No, you're just like your objectively bad at it and you could use practice. that. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with being bad at something you just need to learn. To be better at it I think I grew a little bit of each of you like I. Think I like the idea of like being nice and being like. Maybe you're not like that in better. Maybe you're not the because we're not compatible, but also that would suck to be that person who just lake folk. Nobody ever told me that I bad kisser like if if someone's kissing like like just just fucking. Awesome just national their lips together, and they're like headbutting you. Kissing. Teeth, we'll see no banging the teeth. That's something to me that that. Maybe that's just a anatomy thing. It my teeth or this shape your teeth or this shape. Our lips kind of shape this way, and we just kind of we just click. Click. Click on the ballot kicking teeth off each other. Right person with the right mouth the right? Or you or you adapt your face to the to the person that you're. After face. Onto the next. Brought to you, you've definitely out. There have been times where we were making and you're like. Cool it with your tongue like. You. You. Have you said it? You said at one time I'll never forget it because. You're like engrained. Burned in my exciting, you're like you you. You're just like a little. It was just a little aggressive on the tongue and. And I'm an so I took that and I was like okay with Bridie. I need to like real it back when using my tongue interrupt, but with BECCA. It's like. Like, we're literally. We're literally trying to like trying to suffocate. Tongues. It's like a it's a weird. Sort of. Craft fucking Kasulu and and I feel I have that as well. I also have that I've had that experience as well. And I have had experiences where I've I've been mid kiss and been like oh I I'm suddenly no longer interested in being in this room with you. and I've said something about it and it and it just didn't change anything, but honestly I'm talking more about like body, language, or even just responding to pressure or like essentially. If someone comes up to you and they give, and they give you a hug or you or someone you give them a hug. You can generally tell whether the receptive with their body if they're rigid. Or. They stopped breathing then they're probably not enjoying the time that they're having and I think that those sorts of things are are happening all the time in lake, those moments of negotiating sex and intimacy where it's like. Yeah I'm into this not quite like that a little more like this, but all of that is happening only with the body and and. So anyway, just reinforcing your own point that communication is is key. Here. In the you're you're you're pretty open? Hey, about like talking about sex and dating and relationships as like a as a musician as a as a public figure. Do you Do you get much like flack for that? Not I haven't seen much of it. Yet. I also just think that's because I'm still very much just like starting off but yeah I mean I feel like. I wrote the only like hate I. Guess I've seen from. That has been I. Like wrote a song that was on Duleep as album. called good in bed, and it was. It's very like shamelessly talking about sex in like. I think having artists like do Liba who's likes this clean cut like don't pop artist. I think it really likes threw some people off. They were like well. Like. Why would you say? To me that just like reinforced or like, confirm for me. How important it was that like somebody like duly put a song Bob because I feel like especially, the music industry is so. Texas against women in. Makes them feel like they can't be talking openly about sex than like the fact that like I got see it through. That song was like Shit. People really. Have a long ways to go, so that's why I guess I just tried to be open in my own music, but yeah, seeing it with the do record crazy. Yeah I was just listening to that song. Really fend like dancing steph. Yeah they. Has it been? Has it been like you know you? You recently released a single called one two three four five six what has been like A. What has been the reception of the kids like I i. that Song is is really fun. It's a superfund song jam to What has been the reception to that I? Guess the question is what's your? What is your? Who's your like what he's listening? Who's listening to you like what's your? What's your demographic and like? You know because like. The resigned bringing this up is I. listened to that Song and I'm sitting here as a thirty two year old man and I'm going fuck. This is fun I like. This like my girlfriend would enjoy this I. Know that like I know some people in my life. Enjoy this, but then I'm also sitting. Here is a thirty two year old, thirty two year, old and going. You know what my thirteen year old niece would probably really liked the song and I'm like that's like are those. Is that the crowd? That's also tuning into your shit like, do you? Because I'm all for. Sex positive conversation. Any all ages like. Fuck. That's why we do this show and. I mean it's interesting in. It's been something I've been trying to navigate as kind of started to grow this little fan base, it's like. The demographic is the age demographic is kind of all over the place. So when I am writing a song like saying I just came to the Party for drugs or a song. This like sex on my mind lay whenever pardon me in the back of my mind is like. Oh, no like. Is this a across the wrong message? But to me it's like whenever my parents were like Taylor widey customer much in your songs. That might it's like they're like little. Kids are listening that, but it is very much dislike. To me like speaking your mind talking about sex saying what you want in the song. I like I hope little little kids I guess here. That underlying Oh dan last full. She really speaks her. Mind I should probably do the same and I also like I grew up in a very sex positive household in like. The second I wanted to start learning. What sex while I ask my mom? I was like mom with to blow job and she was like well. Go told me there was never really like this. Like stigma against it like I feel like there is a lot puzzle, so I grew up in a very open way and so I feel like if I can bring that sort of sex positivity to. People, who maybe are in such a an open supportive household by can bring that kind of to them through my music sound so cheesy, but like I don't know it can have a full effect on them or make them feel more confident in their sexuality or their body like. And My job is done. You know you. Yeah, definitely because like when I think back to people who I've met in my life, who? Who seem like extraordinarily. Comfortable with their sexuality. It's like I've always been. I was really taken aback by those people, and like looked up to those people and felt like You know there's like A. Not Not that I, not that I idolized them or like. Put them on a pedestal, but I I yeah I looked I looked up to that kind of vibe and. Always wanted to like project that myself to feel very like very cool and comfortable with. Talking about sex because it's I mean I. Talk about this all the time in the show, but it's like we all we all do. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for it. You know what I mean like we all for the most part we all love it. We all want to do it. So why are we so fucking weird about it? That's what I think is fully panel going off? What you're saying like when you meet people who are like that it. Kinda like rubs off on you. It's like the people you spend. The most time with like you kinda start to like. Take on different light characteristics of that in like I try to only really like myself with people that make me feel good, but like you can be around someone. That's super open about it. rubs off fought rubs off on you like it moment in so I feel like if I could be that person like everyone else. You know. Absolutely. I think it's like it gives permission when you're yourself to to like other people who are around you're seeing it also do that. Wish I feel like for sure need as much as possible. GERMY on, we'll be right back after this word first sponsors. What what your? Story Lake with growing up and sexuality mentioned your parents were, or your household is pretty positive in an approachable, did you? Like an early bloomer what was? It like growing up. It's funny because I grew up in slipped like such an open way like talking about sex, and then when I lost my virginity I, really like I hadn't even like masturbated before I lost my virginity, so I really had like no flew. Away I was like I think it was. Like fifteen or yeah, I was fifteen so out of it. Is that a typical thing for for women? No, not masturbating before. Like not having masturbated and then losing your virginity. I mean I'm sure it's pretty common, but think of how many women we've spoken to on this podcast. You who were like I, think I started masturbating early, and there's like so many women are like masturbating at like five or six yeah yeah. Yeah that's what's interesting. Is I never? Did that in I also think and I talk about this. I'm like putting this like PSA video kinda soon, talking about sex and talk about how like I feel like masturbation for women I. Don't know about you, but I didn't grow up talking my friends openly about it like I feel like it has this. Negative thing for women to be masturbating so I never like I didn't even think girls did it like until. I was like fifteen. I guess, but yeah I mean. I had no fun. Include I was doing when I was like having sex in high school, but it was. It was fun. I gotTA after. You had sex though like. Did you like like what was what was? The was the catalyst to you then going wait. I can touch my own pussy like this Oh. This is fire and I remember my like I. Didn't know what to do I was what is this? This is like the best thing ever, and then I had some friends like still were like. It's still hooking up with people but like. Aren't like as comfortable with like masturbating in like still haven't like orgasms and I'm like girl lush. You're fucking missing out like it's. It's interesting, but yeah I don't know and then I think. masturbating and like. Todd like getting comfortable in like knowing your own body has been like. The main reason why I've become so late comfortable in my sex life with other people because like you know what you want in like, you can tell people what you want in like yeah. What's that to you it in front of them and that's sometimes. I got this I. Mean that's that's. That's what that's. What a lot of us are doing now. And it and it. I mean personally speaking for me. It's been a fucking superfund time. What's that saying like? How could you love others if you can't if you can't? Love yourself first or whatever it's, it's the same. It's the same kind of thing. It's like how. Yeah like. Until you get to know what makes your like makes you tick then? have a hard time connecting with with other people. Yeah yes right? Let's cool and. NOPE, share Yup so you live in La. Have you been to any big wild sex parties or or no, but talking to you guys makes me really just want to do this, so. Very like I feel like I'm super. Like I'm a very sexual person. Look Love said by. Whatever, but I'm not like I'm very. What's the word like with one person on garments monogamous? That's word. Yeah! End Like I'm not like that ballsy bitch. WHO'S GONNA walk up to this random person and be like. You're coming home with me like I still. Mike Twenty one I'm still figuring my shit out, but like yeah I don't know I feel like that's definitely something. I need to do I. Feel like I'm so fucking fun. I feel like it's also. So breeding, like for someone who like me, I feel like who is like a very sexual person, but monogamous I feel like doing some shit like that would be the most empowering thing ever. I mean. Bride I don't know what your? Feelings are on it, but like the experiences. I've had a couple of experiences that's. No, but like you've been you've been. You've been the sex clubs. You've been the sex clubs and have watched while having sex. You know what I mean like. That's which is like. which is like groups sex adjacent? But even that experience, even not even that experience itself. It's like I this. Who those like last? Last year. Maybe it was like last year back in I went to my girlfriend and I went to. A A SEX CLUB IN TORONTO CALLED Oasis and and I remember. There's this fucking really weird room there that you go in? It's like it's like a medium size room, but it's got a it's. They've got the back of A. This sounds very. They got to the back of Van inside the room. That covers open, so you can like. Get into the van. You're fucking in the back of a van. Nothing credible back the vans. Anyway. It's like it's like one of those cool like young kids beds. That's a race car, except it's a it's. So. We're in the Van Room. Fuck in, and there's like five other couples fucking there and I remember just like looking up while we're all having sex and then at the doorway. There's like four people just watching and in that moment just thinking like this is. This is one of the most like sexually empowered moments I've ever had entire life because I'm just I'm? I'm fully engaged in connected with my partner and I. It's having a great time. But then we're all like also kind of like making eye contact with these other people that I have no fucking clue who they are and like this whole like, but they're like no one's no one's. I think about it now, and it makes me Giddy like an and. Just. Fuck I'd just like I can't talk about it without laughing, but in that moment like no one's laughing. We're all we're all just like super fucking were here for this like this is what's happening right now? It's super serious like. Man. It is one of those like it's one of those. Weird wild experiences that you look back on, you know afterwards. Go Fuck! That was cool. Experience? I picture the next version of that for like at least for myself being like. Not taking place in a sex, but like more in like a mudpit. Kim were. The jungle. Somewhere. Incredible love it. I feel like that'd be sick to like like. How does it work for like those kinds of things you have to enroll in as a couple, or can you just roll in Solo? And just like Salman Ladies Usually Rowland's solo for the most part, yeah, ladies can go in totally Solo. Typically. men have to go in as a couple or as a part of or like you know. They're part of a crew. And then, and yeah, that's that's typically how it works I. Mean I I I'm not super well-versed I've only been two. Three. Three sex clubs, but it's the same at all of them kind of the same same survive. Yeah well highly recommended if you're ever if I'm. As! Normal I know it's like what does that. Even I don't even know what I'm GonNa get to tour again and let alone when people are going to be disliked. When are insects? Burnley yes. You're like you're. You're technically supposed to be playing I just saw this today. You're supposed to be playing like in a few days in Toronto at one of my favorite. Music is the Danforth Musical Shit I saw. To fourth music on I'm like this. Isn't you guys? Send me this. I was like don't. Yeah? Really on tour in the slowing down and had deletes like one day in. Very sad as a as a young as a young and up and coming fucking Rockstar. I, think I'd be remiss if I didn't ask you this question. Do you, have you? Have you had the like the the romanticized experience of of of groupies on tour? Dude. How sick would that be now? I'm working on him. Working my way up to that to not it's tour is interesting like it's. It's also weird because. I'm like so fifty fifty with it because I'm like you I. WanNa be like going fucking crazy like I, mean normally i. get my own like when I get my own hotel room like I want to bring all these people back us fucking go, but then the other half like I'm exhausted. I have to bannon drive to the night city. It's so interesting I feel like every. Every artist I talked to so torn between the two world. They're like do I. Get my sleep in life. Keep my voice for the next show like fuck around in like you know, it's really hard. It's interesting. I would imagine especially at twenty one to where it's like that like I. Thirty six and I'm like. I think I'd rather sleep. No, but at twenty one like. The world is kind of your oyster, and you maybe don't like. Don't have fifteen years of going out to bars in your back pocket of. been there done that, it would be I. Remember being on tour. I went on tour of my sister as a nanny for her musical tour, and I had. That's right I remember that time being totally stricken with the same conundrum like I'm I'm responsible for three year old, but that boy yasmine who? I'm in. I'm like I I. Succumb to it pretty easily. I think like we. We go in tour quite a bit for my other podcasts, and like it's just the worst for my health because I. I, just I literally just run myself right near the fucking ground like I just like fly home early with pneumonia. Run yourself into the ground literally. Your rely. I finished or well I've finished tour and we finished in Newfoundland, which is like the furthest you can go on the east coast of Canada, and then that that day I flew down to Boston to go see a band. One of my favorite bands of all time big thief. They were playing. At this theater in Boston. I got there that the show. Is that night solid show that night? And then we had like a whole trip planned to like drive backup through Salem in all the shit. I woke up. The next morning was like Whoa I gotta go home now or else. I'M GONNA be. Stuck with a fucking huge medical bill in the US, and so I flew home that day, and I was basically hospitalized for a couple of weeks, but anyway. It's like the whole. I. because. I'm not I the reason why I say romanticized. Idea of like of of like Rockstar life. Is when we go on tour, econ sort of kind of feels like that, even though I know it's, it's not at all it gets so it's fucking so low key, and and not that, but there's like this. There's this sort of attractive kind of like. That, fucking move that classic movie of. Yeah. There's like an almost famous polity to like. Of The nights young fucking go party. You know like who knows what might happen. It's like it's yeah. I also love like this. This may sound like a real dick, but like the power play of. Which is like I love that Shit just like in my relationships in in bed anyway. Is that like when you're on stage? And you're like I hold the power and you can. Find, the person that you want some few after the set in like work that and be like I've literally like this. Microphone is the power in this exchange right now like that's really funny me. But yeah I also. I feel like the reason I'm such. A light tours work like now I look at it. That way is because my first tour was the beginning of last year and I like had never done it before so I was like I'm going. WASTED AT RECOGNI making out with like anyone I could at the like going in, and then I was like okay like I lost my voice like got sick and I was like okay. I need. Kuo My role, but it is really fun, yeah! I want to do that. I miss that. I just having responsibilities. Otherwise I I don't know. Go on tour. Very Fun, myself. So! Taylor you were saying that you you didn't really. You didn't really fuck with the whole like. Like. Online sexting Kinda like like like video. Chat sex and tell in your life until. covid nineteen changed the the sex world and you. What what has that experience been lake end like okay so? You know let's let's do this right, so we have. We have a segment on the show that we call brain Boehner's and we we get. We get a bunch of questions from listeners, and we answer the questions with like our best advice, and one came in that I feel would be like kind of worthy to touch on right now, and maybe we'll get your take on. It but I also want to hear your take on a tube ride. So here all blasts out, and then you guys, give me your give me your thoughts. Hi Jeremy, Bridie and in this case, Taylor. I'm from Cape Breton here, Nova. Scotia I've been a long time listener of sick boy, and have recently started listening to turn me on within the past few weeks. Wolf, thank you very much. One of the one of my more recent listens was the red hot sues episode and You guys spoke a lot about how to take news during the world of Covid. Nineteen nudes and sexting is probably a decent part of a lot of people's lives, so my question is. How the fuck do you sexed obviously I? Get the concept, but I'm legit clueless on how to go about how to go about it with seemingly with seeming incredible with without seeming incredibly awkward about it. Was Hoping. You guys would have some tips. Love the podcasts love you guys who were safe. And that's from Haley. where? You know I'm curious to know what your initial thoughts are. Yeah, I mean I feel like honestly like what we were saying earlier like nude sexting for sex. All that shit takes a another level of like vulnerability to me I don't know like it's. It's yeah, because yeah, you just have to communicate more clear in could get awkward I love taking news like Sundays on life. Damn, if I ever. Get to fucking like lady. Gaga satis like all mine is will lake. It's GonNa. Be Like Nice level, but I'm kind of. Like I'm ready, but no like I. I think that's Super Fun I feel like. Whenever, I'm like in the mode in like I'm trying to start some shit. I. Don't know like how you initiate it like I'll just send a photo and then see what happens after that I guess I. Don't Know How you guys do. You take. I find it a lot easier to communicate in writing so. And I. And I liked. Thank you. So. Was Our brain Boehner Askar's name Haley. If you I've charged thirty five dollars an hour to ride. It a fucking ghost writing. Go, straight your sex. And Sex. I don't know I think. I. I don't like to lead with like words. That can be jarring. Like to jump right to pussy or cock or anything like that, I might just say more like. I. You know I'm thinking of you. And I'm wondering what you're doing. Okay right, but hold on bride 'cause so let let me just let me just jump in here really quickly. Let's let's assume because we don't. We don't have a lot of information about Haley and her current. Situation or let's let's say let's say that Haley isn't in. A relationship, yeah, right, so let's say Haley literally late. Yeah, like let's say she's slid into. The DM's some cute guy who like who liked her last post and she's like Oh fuck. I want to chat with this guy, but I but I don't know. I I like I. Don't know how to take it to that level because it would be a little weird if she was like. Hey, I've been thinking about. This like. I don't know if you said that to me or you said that. Todd that makes sense. Yeah, right? There's an established relationship. So, how does how does Ailey do this? With with that guy? She just fucked. She fucking Shit like she saw at the Bar, and she noticed that that he noticed her six months ago and now they're like they're just like they they're. They're orbiting each other's presence on social media. You know what I mean. What? What does she say, then she says. Hey see my pussy. I've. I've noticed you're noticing me and I just wanted to put you on notice that I noticed you, too. That's she says. ooh, that's. Good. That's good fresh prince of bel-air. Is. Incredible. And if he gets the reference that Yep Evert that's great, that's. For sure. But I think yeah I keep super playful, and that way that if it doesn't go over well or if it isn't received, you can kind of be like. I don't know if you're not taking yourself too seriously. Then it's not it's not doesn't hurt so much when they're like not picking up what you're putting down at all, and then you might find that you're not being clear enough, and that's fine, too, and then you just have to try something else but I I'm like tech starting those conversations I like. This is not just like an off the cuff tax. This is something that type, and then I'll read, and I'll say it out loud and I'll be like. Oh, no I can't say that, and then you know it, just it does. It takes a while to get a groove. You just kind of have to spend some time practicing. What what sounds both natural. and. Like a little edgy, I can say edge things in Tex- that I would not ever. Feel super comfortable, saying out loud, but. Over anytime I've ever said something index that I wouldn't say it out loud. The response is always. Like holy fact, that's how to Shit. In the leap of faith is is. I agree with you on that one like sometimes just taking a leap of faith and saying something that you that you make this face right as you press and you go. Y-. You feel that there's a good chance like you're gonNA. COME BACK! That's that's GonNa really pay off I. Yeah, I think that's. I I for me. I'm I I love sexting and I and I have I've done it I feel like I've done it quite a bit and. Like the way I've always initiated it I'm not good at initiating it, but I'm always I feel like I have a really good knack for. For. For like. Finding finding our way to the to the territory where it feels natural for that to be the next thing that comes up right, so it's like. Like as soon as you. As soon as you start talking about as soon as you get to the topic of sex, and it could even be like just like. Like! Like very light sex talk. You know it doesn't have to be like like deep. Talking about hey. What's your? What's your favorite positionally nothing like that, but like even just talking about your body or like? or What have you! Once once. That topic comes up. I feel like it's kind of easy to be like all right well, let's. Let's see how far the house far the conversation can go on this one topic. You know it's like get get. Yeah, get in line with the topic or like within the realm of like in that lane. No matter how why that lane is, and then slowly narrow it down until you start getting into like. The suffer like. Pass. I'll show you mine if you show me yours kind of thing, you know. that. Yeah that's good advice. Yeah, I like the idea. That's a good analogy like start with like. What did you say like scenario out? Lane and then narrow that lane down into into a place where it's like okay well now we just gotTa. Take her clothes off I. Guess See like I'm not as good at the sexting thing. I feel like I just need to hit you up to like. Write me some sex in the future because I. Is Not my strong. Just on facetime, like, but then that also, as maybe my issue with like hiding behind the whole body language thing in like. Whatever but yeah. I don't know sexiness fun like all the Times I've done it. It's still, but then also like I don't know if I'm doing it wrong, but like having when you're like in in the moment in your life. masturbating with this person, but you're like texting it out the time it takes to like. Send the tax than you like. Lose it in your life clock like how does that? You know what I mean. I don't do that I honestly. If I'm going to get to the point where I'm going to get myself off, it's it's one or two things I've read enough and seen enough or just or just read enough, or I've seen enough where I'm like okay cool. I can take this into my mind and I'm going to go right. Squeeze one out, but then leaving this person on. They're like. Well I mean. I think at that point. It's like I hope you're doing the same thing like we both. We both now need to branch off and like finish this yeah, or or the next step is just like you do like. Are we hopping on? Are we opened on face? To make this happen or what? I mean. And that's that's like strictly Kobe. Speaking like that's. That's Kobe time. I. Sex now. It's like you get to a point where it's like okay, are we going to? Like, let's just let's just do this over facetime, right? It. Just made me think of how how many times I've had. I've been trying to multitask and do both things. Continue the conversation, and and I. Just it's in like today's Day of like cleaning all of your keyboards in your hands. All the shit that's. Yeah anyway all the come. Come that's on cellphones. Straying. Yeah, that's funny, but I have I have I have. I have. Notes like in my in my notes folder on my phone I have. Long likes like six teen paragraph. Scenarios written out past sex like exchanges that I've had. That I've I'm like okay I'm going to write a novel novel etta. Novella, going to write a novella nominated. Novella of sexed and then I'm gonna I'm Gonna I'M GONNA. Send this to this person and. When it when it works and it was like fuck, that felt really good. I'll take that and there's like. Keep it locked away and be like. Perhaps. We'll bring this out someday down the road. You're just following a script and every sex. It's you're. You're like I. Don't know why you're not picking accused. Forged through my script. What you just said does not actually lied seen properly. But we're going there anyway. I'm narrowing down that lane. A. Well, he'll hope that hope that helps your your your situation there and and actually Haley follow up with us. Let us know if you end up taking that route. Because I wanNA I. WanNa hear how that goes for you. That'd be. Really great to know, and if you haven't joined in our Patriot yet, we're going to be in. Fitting, in a new tier level yeah. You got it. On My punchline since two thousand eleven. Well. This has been tiller. This has been really really fun. And it's been. It's been a an absolute treat to chat with you. How can our listeners follow what you're up to Hocken our listeners hear your music. Tell them tell them where to go. Yeah, I mean anywhere like spotify instagram anywhere is just saw music. Weird spelling ups Ahl. Yet. Thank you for having me. This has been so I have always considered myself. Like a sexual person obviously in like this song coming out his made me is forced me to talk about sex more openly and like. I'm learning so much like just from this past hour with you guys like I feel so fucking. Spotlight inspired empowered to like. GET BACK TO LA world is normal and like I'm going off, so thank you got seriously. It was really fun to have you. And thank you all for listening. We hope you enjoyed it. We will be back next week as we always are with another wonderful conversation. But in the meantime, if you want to support the PODCASTS, there's a couple as and do that. You can go to apple podcasts and leave a rating or a review. which is really important keeps us on the I tunes charts there, which is like the billboard charts for podcast You can also follow the podcast on spotify. Because you know spotify fucking cool, and who doesn't have a spotify account now. And if you want to support the podcast in other ways, you can do that through Patriot unlike Brady said earlier. WWW dot patriots dot com slash. Turn me on where there's some exclusive content there and who knows. Maybe we'll start writing your sex for you. If, you want to be a guest on the show, or if you have a brain, Boehner, you'd like us to ask and share with our guest. The new can reach out to us. Termi on podcast at gmail.com or through our website term podcasts dot com. And at Terminal podcast on Instagram we've been posting people's asses on there every Sunday since it started so if you want your, but initially posted to the world, we will do it for you. at Termi on podcast on instagram. That is it for this week? Until we. Go Fuck Yourself. One. Two three, four five six almond. Two Two. High on new ways was. Name in. Game but. Of. The. Up just that. In power. Johnson. You. Do. On Sex and into. Two. Four five six. Two. Fastened to? A. Four. Up. Six! Love. Fastened to. Our Studio Suit four five six on my mind. Work.

US facebook Fuck Sake La partner Margot Anand Todd BBC instagram Yoni TORONTO Phoenix South Wales A. Up Halifax Nova Scotia Termi Jonah
It Can Only Go Up From Flavor-Town

Absolutely Not

55:15 min | 7 months ago

It Can Only Go Up From Flavor-Town

"The phone rang. PODCAST is a deer media production. Welcome to the absolutely not podcast where we do the most in the least at the same damn time. I'm your host. Heather McMahon all right boys and Girls Ladies and Gentlemen Woman Dons and can't gerbils ferrets. It's another episode of the absolutely not five gassed. I'm your host Heather McMahon I'm coming to joyfully from Atlanta Georgia. Back in my mom's house for the week I just got back from Mexico touchdown just a hot second La bump and a skip ago. A bump trump said that it's because I just came back from Mexico did not do McCain. There was offered it many times. We'll get into that just a moment. I got plenty of south of the border. Absolutely what's and we're GONNA get into some of the you know the goals for twenty twenty or we're trying to accomplish what we're trying to not get you know in trouble with either. Now we're doing the most not the least this year but I want to ease into the year. You know what I mean I gotta catch my breath. We all got to take a second. This is the thing I always start my workout regimen Jim in February. I don't even fuck January. This whole dry January to me to be honest with you is an absolutely not personally for me. You want to know why because towards the end I decided I am not going to abuse alcohol. You know what I mean. I think I was working so much towards the end. I didn't really drink. That much. Went on a lovely vacation to Mexico but really kinda chilled. I wasn't hitting the nightclubs disco tax if you will. I was really having a couple Margaritas and truly trying to be in bed by eight. PM Every night. Sometimes I was in bed by two. Do it all depended we will get into the entire Mexico trip but for those of you who are really just go and dry bone dry cold Turkey. Hot Turkey early like cold Turkey. Well no I like cold Turkey. I'll tell you one thing I can't do. I cannot reheat meet the next day if you take chicken or Turkey any any kind of foul really and try and reheat it. It'll tastes like plastic. That was sitting in a public pool for too long. Do know what I'm saying like if you were to lick the underbelly of a child floaty that had been sitting out in the sun and a Ymca public pool. That is what chicken chicken or any sort of poultry tastes like so. I hope you're not going. I guess go cold Turkey. Don't go hot Turkey on me because that's disgusting. I mean listen if you if you have a drinking problem problem like families abandoned you you know. They've threatened to take away. Sixteen of your your cats that you're hoarding. Because you're drinking so bad then great. Yeah absolutely early dry January. Then that means you actually have a physical lick horrific problem. You're losing friends. If your job hasn't called you back then for sure you you need to be participating in January but for everybody else's but this crazy pressure on themselves to you know not going to drink to me. It just makes me crazier but what I've realize as an amateur adult is when I go out now I just enjoy myself and don't blackout crazy concept but if you can go and and just enjoy your life have a glass of wine or two and really go to be around people in good company instead of feeling like you have to have sixteen yeager bombs before you go out. You'll be fine now. I understand that most doing dry January. Because they're like okay but I don't drink eat healthy. I'M GONNA. I'M NOT GONNA have anything to Termi from stepping into my my health and wellness goals. But I gotta be honest with you. I think we get a look. Cray cray right out the gate for me. I don't really start my week until really my new year. Until about the eighth or ninth and I don't know if it's because I'm a middle of the second week of Gallon General. I always get stressed out on the first bills. Or what do your credit cards do. I just kind of ignore that. Even when I didn't have money like I've always just pushed bills to lease the tenth stretch. It see how far I can stretch it before they collect at your front door before they find out where you live so for me I really plan on doing zero regimen really starting kick-starting any sort sort of New Year program until about you know. Actually I might stretch to the fifteenth. And that's where I'm at speaking of the Fifteenth La. I'm coming to do to secret shows or not secret anymore. We're doing to industry. Pop Up shows the fifteenth in the sixteenth at the Improv in L. A.. Of course it sold out like point three seconds. I am so appreciative Previti came. I said this on the last podcast. I'll say it again. If you're going to shows I need you to just be decked out ready to go down to clown. Having a good time there are going to be people there in the audience a and this is not like. I'm like planting people but there will be people in the audience. You could possibly make or break my career so if you see somebody in a suit said this I believe last time on the podcasts gas. Or somebody who looks like they got drug to the show. I want you to just go up to them by the bar and say. Hey you need to give heather McManus show. Oh she's ready to be a mega fucking star. Twenty twenty and and I'm going to manifest for you. Come find me after the show. Tell me what you need to do if you need me to. Go to your law professor professor and say Listen Ronnie. Were done either. You give my girl Claire and A or I'll burn down your house by all means I'm ready to do it. I'm I'm here for you. You're here for me. I'm so excited to the shows and y'all for everybody else in L. A.. We're playing a huge theater in La. It's coming this spring. We have not announced yet. Hang hang tight. WE'RE COMING TO CHICAGO. We're going to Boston Minneapolis. I mean all over. We're literally doing forty more tour dates and all new cities is year. I don't know why those just came to the top of my mind in all of Texas. We're in more parts in the south. I mean we're doing literally everywhere so hang tight. Stay tuned everything on instagram. And on this podcast. I will be announcing tour dates rates as they come. I'm excited to get back on the road but I'm also excited just to have some time in La to do the damn thing. Doggy you know what I mean. I am so frigging excited to work. And I think we've been on the road and as a comic. That's just like that is what literally like sets my titties on fire. You want to give me an automatic like hot hot flashed on my pussy. Allow me to perform. And that's what makes me happy but it's interesting the way that we decided to these two little shows it's truly because you don't know pilot season is pilot season season is basically I mean it's so fucking stupid but it's where they started to cast for all the new shows not only am I trying to sell my own show a network that I wrote and have obviously he created like this is my little angel baby nugget. I really WANNA come off from the momentum in this team that I had a two thousand nine hundred and I want to sell this show because I want you to be able to watch me every day on television Asian nine on instagram. Because instagram doesn't pay me they don't so anyways I've kind of the idea behind these shows they'll be ninety nine percent of people who are so excited to be there and then like the one percent of interns who have to just go and take notes because their boss told them to but in the meantime we're gonNA trick everybody into thinking that I should have my own. TV show. So I'm so excited. Did your onboard. I'm so excited you're coming and if you didn't make it to the show don't worry this literally the tiniest theater of played it's like two hundred seats at tiny. We're going to do a huge theater tour coming this spring. And we're probably probably GONNA announce at the end of January so get very excited. Buckle up baby it's GONNA be awesome get a merry Christmas happy new year. Happy Hannukah Kwanza. We're in it. It's a new decade a New Year. New Me actually. It's a new year. Same Old Bullshit. I'm here to Giggle. We're here to talk about absolutely nuts. It we're to manifest our truth speak it into existence. Vengeance is mine says the Lord embarrassed for Satan. Oh I'm sorry Lucifer. Did you think you were going to show up in twenty twenty the new decade and steal my joy from the Lord. Oh absolutely frigging not you know who shines bright like a diamond Riana and my Lord and Savior. Jesus Christ you you know who else shine spray liquid each and every one of you listening you want to know why because from my lips to God's ears I want everybody to be blessed this year and honestly I it can only go up from last year last year was a really wild ride and a great you one of the best years of my life. The three years previous previous prior were the worst darkest deepest nasty as years so like okay. Two Thousand Nineteen sucked a really can only go up from here. I'm GonNa tell so you kind of how I started my year. We'll get into Mexico in a minute but one thing that happened to me is I started my twenty twenty so low so bottom of the barrel. I Shit Shit myself at the Cancun airport well not fully. It was a little bit of a sneak attack. I made it to the bathroom but got to be honest with you. Saw The light at the the end of the tunnel. You know what I mean did not know if I was GONNA make it. If you've ever been to the Cancun airport. We went to to loom to Christmas to looms really funky European part of of Mexico really makes you feel like you're French Riviera like everyone's in thongs. It's a vibe. Everyone as a full-blown Tan. They wear a lot of dude with like you know so Like selene and like off White Virgil at Blah blow. Whatever the hell his name is like like men unlike Louis Vitton bathing suits it's with one feather Dang leering? You know what I mean where they are but they're trying to look like hipster potentially kind of like earthy guys but it's like you have on off white white bathing suit bottoms. Your bathing suit. Bottoms alone was somebody's studio apartment. Rent in Miami Beach. Do you know what I'm saying. Okay we'll get into Zulu in a second so till about two hours hour and a half south of the Cancun Airport Cancun's very touristy by when you get to the airport and I'm just so you know even the Kabul airport. There is nothing to eat in these airports like one starbucks a pharmacy and like a Margarita. Ville so obviously I had to hit the Guy Fieri. I wanted wanted a one way ticket to flavor town like I'm like let's fuck it up. I always stop at the Guy Fieri restaurant and the Cancun airport and listen. I should have known better absolutely not had their. You knew new better every time you come to the Guy Feary restaurant. Something dramatic happens we got the trash can not chose which come in this weird trash. Can you flip them upside down over. The table are the played you pull up. The trash can the NACHOS fall it would be like a domino effect and really and truly. It's just like really shitty. She Eddie thinly sliced Jalapenos just fallen out the bottom. This isn't like an art basel moment if you will. It's just not shows that were shoved in a can that it looks like a tin trash can that they then flip upside down near play. We only had a little bit of time before to fly. We got the trash can not chose. I got the Vegas fries. Don't let me describe the Vegas fries. Is there curly thick wedge fries but that are cut where they almost havoc curlicue at the end. You know when you're like slight when you take nine a knife yeah knife or scissors and you do. They're really sharp edge. That really against like Oh fuck. Both you're trying to make a bow on the end of of what am I trying to say like a president. Be No when you take the blade and whatever like material you're using and use almost slice your finger open by like S- cutting it really close closed and it makes that noise. I don't know what I'm talking about the noise but regardless that's what the fries look like. They were like a curly fry but where they just kind of flipped up at the end. It wasn't like they were full curl. Because they were fat they were like a wedge like a wedge fry but then also had that little clip at the end. I've just fucking butchered that. Okay okay. I'm sorry Mexico's fucked me up fries. Add a W- ASAMI blue cheese. Now I'm GonNa go ahead and tell you this guy. I hope you're listening. I couldn't think of two flavors at couldn't go worse together like do a spicy Asami blue cheese fuck is that I know. You're trying to take me to flavor town but at this point you just took me to diarrhea. Ville okay because about point three seconds after dipped one of those fat weird Wedge Fries which mind you okay you got the Asami blue cheese and you gotTa side of Buffalo Sauce now. I don't know about you you but I thought that the fries we're gonNA come fully loaded with the buffalo and the blue cheese was Sabi blue cheese wherever the fuck it was on the FRY now guy is making me do the work so now I gotTa dip them and then it came with again back to the curlicue when you're you're doing you know the fancy ribbon on a president show much shredded fuck and celery and carrots. It wasn't like tangent we'd like you couldn't in grab it with your hands and then like eat it with the FRY. The accoutrements the decorative added celery crew. If you will on on top of the Vegas fries was bullshit. All you needed to do. Give me some curly Q.. Fries some regular fucking blue cheese and then the buffalo sauce. Why you'd mix buffalo with Assab Babi again too much fucking heat? I don't care who you are is too much heat. But you know he's all about the flavors you guys like a Bang Bang sauce and a full throttle taki sauce. And you're like. Why did you bring a donkey barnyard animal into this absolutely not just call it a hot sauce? Call it guys hot sauce long story short. We got that we got some sliders Then I spilled my mom's Cappuccino. All over the trash can NACHOS and isolate late them off the top. Do you know what I mean Robinson as we could all these things so I'm shovelling shit and my mouth and all of a sudden it hits me I get about Six or seven bites. We know a bite of each going around the table really Lazy Susan Ing it kind of Spin in a plate grab a bite and it hits me and I say I look Javan go is set. I'm about to shit. Myself ran to the bathroom. Barely made it. Joe described you. What happened to me because I'll just put it this way? I am in a large urge public bathroom and Gang Koon and I have six women call out to me from serpents ause and go are you okay and honestly one appreciated the Camaraderie rothery appreciated the wellness update truly a wellness check. And I said I don't know my voice started to quiver a little bit and I had to translate a little bit in Spanish. You know what I mean. I had a couple of people who said. Are you OK in Spanish and I could understand and I said Komo's at Ise Unwell L.. Nobody no so I got on this flight and I said I think I I you know I hope I make it. I made it back to Atlanta. But that's how my twenty twenty started did New Year's Day essential immediate food poisoning from guy fairies and I thought for sure I mean I got diarrhea oven on a Mexico. But here's the thing I said this last last year got assert shredding for the wedding between that and hopefully this parasite I'll get in Thailand. Like I'm hoping that I mean I listen. I came back from Mexico six pounds lighter and I've been eating have portions Sion's my stomach I just can't eat at all. I don't even really have diarrhea anymore. I'm just letting you know that Mexico to me is a pure place and the severe Jay on the roadside stand. It did make me sick. It was immediate guy. Fieri so guy. I like a personal apology. And I like for you to explain to me why. There's a Sabi blue cheese and let me tell you something right now I fuck up condiments. I'm economy queen. I will literally put sixty five sauces out. I go to Chick-fil-a just to get every sauce. I invented the same called all the zip-line dip a long time ago. I was super over one day and lined up all my chicken nuggets and I had all of my dips out. It would be great. If there is a zip-line that I could just connect my chicken nugget to one side of the zip line and literally let it run through all the sauces and then into my mouth. That's the kind of invent vint America baby genius I am and my friend looked at me and goes wow heather you must be that hung over and you're also really fucking lazy but this is the kind of like you know now. Genius said that just struck with it when I'm hung over and I thought of ZIP line dip awhile ago Haven't been able to get a patent on it. Still working on that patent pending so so don't train steal my idea said here I but that's where I'm at basically what I'm trying to say is I would fuck up a mixture of condiments but was sobbing. Blue Cheese is it's unacceptable and it's just didn't need to happen and I believe that was the main culprit for you know essentially me shitting myself January first all of this being said I. I just want to let you know if you had a bad new year's or if something right out the gate January I it's sucked for you. Just remember the year can only go up from here all it. Can It only go up. It can only go up from feary. I don't know about you but one of the goals that I have. This year has been more time in bed a little bit of getting freaky in a lot of just hell relaxing relaxing. I had a real busy and I am excited to actually kick my feet up. Relax and enjoy just taking some time off and how am mcadoo that. I'll tell you what my new damn sheets and comforter from Buffy buffy has changed the game if you're like me and one near freezing the next one you have hot wild hormonal sweats. And you can't figure out what to do. buffy betting will literally change your life. 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If you haven't listened to my podcast the bitch which Bible brace yourself pour yourself a stiff drink and get ready to laugh your ass off or cry. Make sure you subscribe yourself to the Bitch. Bible podcast right eighth. Now you're going to F ing love it so that's where we're in. Our life got a lot of things planned my a real big goal. This year is to sell my show and to make it. I want to manifest. I'm speaking it into existence right now. I want to be at the twenty twenty one golden Globes emmys probably the EMMYS EMMYS is more because at the end of the year the Golden Globes. Even if I sell the show only shoot the pilot will be able to do a whole season. I'm I think what's realistic. DOC is a frigging emmys. But I'M GONNA say Golden Globes to twenty twenty one. We got this baby. We got this. Okay so a little recap of my Mexican adventure ensure going down to to loom. If you don't know about to loom to loom is just a really cool. It's very big. It's she gets echo. It's funky imagine took a bunch of ex pats and you put them on the beach somewhere right. You took a bunch of people from like France and Europe and Spain. It's all these like really cool Europeans and and they've all moved down to this gorgeous white. Sandy Turquoise water part of the Gulf of Mexico IT'S A. It's a two hour south of Cancun to lose this hidden in Gem. There's incredible restaurants there used to be nothing at all touristy about him. It's like one way in one way out on this beach road and we say to COSIMO CO which cheers Pablo Escobar's oldest date which was so funky and this Colombian. Our dealer took over it years ago. So it's just got tons of art in the rooms are insane and I really was like like I'm GonNa treat myself for the beginning of the Strip where we fucked up was. We decided to extend her stay through. Because we have friends coming down so we got a Condo an beautiful oh airbnb it was great. You're there anytime else. During the year had been easy to get to and from where to go three miles from the main drag up to our condo one night it took us an hour and a half to go three miles because literally to get to the beach. You're going down a tiny dirt road at that point like the first week. During Christmas it was relaxing is amazing. But then was all of our friends came in town and we had to move AIRBNB. It became a cluster. Fuck of stress. I couldn't put my mom in a cab. People were trying to swindle us in the cab like just an Fyi when you go to Mexico always negotiate the price before you get in. I mean it's really anywhere but specifically high season in Mexico one night. We paid two hundred and fifty pesos. So for a cab the next day to go literally three miles. They want to charge his sixteen hundred pesos. No AMIGO EGO Lucian. Tomas Manila's Kenyan mallow. But I know how to negotiate. Oh you know what I'm saying so it just became stressful and I realized I forget that like new. Eight years is so hyped for me. New Year's has never been honestly ever a holiday. I've enjoyed I've never done a right. Even though we're in paradise with friends at the beach to me the whole night I was like okay. I got to stay sober enough because I negotiate with cabdriver. Ds Three Miles down. The road was should take ten minutes but because there were so. Many people trying to go to these nightclubs nightclubs that were on the beach. I mean there's a cool way Scott Gaetano onto my favorite restaurants archive Mir Mira down. There is amazing but just because of the sheer amount of like one. We're on a dirt road into it's pitch black and there were so many people trying to go to these like cool beach bars. I was just stressed. I was truly stressed all the time I could put my mom comedy Gabon Resolve. Where are Kanda was was like not very well lit? It was beautiful new development but it was still in your in Mexico and you could be like the coolest ever her and then you just go around the corner and you realize you're like I forgot we're in Mexico. Do you know what I'm saying. And I'm not saying that in a negative tone as in like I've loved Mexico. I'm one with the people. I love the cuisine. I love the language. I'm feeling the vibe but there are moments where you're like Oh shit I forgot. I forgot I had to like kind of kick into where it was one night. My sister's friends came down from Atlanta and she was out partying and listen. I don't care what anybody says. Absolutely not for me being grandma. But we'd moved at the CONDO and I was dressed until until she got home. Okay where are was dark. You couldn't see where you were going. A lot of people didn't even allow the cab. Drivers didn't even know the name of the new development. I was stressed I was up to three forty five in the morning waiting for her. Sorry ass to get home you know. And this is who I've become so the tail in my trip was just I was essentially like the safety. He police and nobody likes to safety police. You know I was getting offered drugs. Hey Mishima's Miss Lady Miss Lady Cook Ena Cook Ena Cook I wanna Meta. How did you WANNA and you're like? Oh yes but not now sir. You know my sister's little she's got brittle baby bird bones. She is a criminal defense attorneys. Usually backing can he not in Mexico. But I had that moment where I couldn't sleep well night until I knew all my chickens were under one roof and my mom was bitching and then of course when my sister comes comes the door my mom actually. She's not mad anymore. Like you find your home but the entire time I ended listen to her bitch for four and a half hours. About what a degenerate. My sister was how she saying late. As you drink too much and I'm like you know mom say to her face but my mom does every time she bitches to my sister about her being a floozy Hussy a lady the night staying up late making her worry and then as soon as she comes in and we know she's totally fine. It's like bygones be bygones. And I'm like I listen to you bitch for six and a half hours and now you're just GonNa let it roll off your skin. Oh Hell no hell. Now I've thought about setting all my sisters key classrooms are on fire fire just a once in smoke signal out through the jungle to let the cabdriver nowhere to drop her and to let her know that I was pissed that I couldn't sleep so the first part of my trip relaxing the end of the trip I didn't go to bed before four. Am a single night. I was either babysitting navigating because I don't know about us. Since my dance died I kind of stepped into the role of my dad is and like I just interesting. How like role dynamics change in the family when now the muscle? I'm the one who does all of her travel. I I put us in an Uber. I make dinner reservations. You know I just kind of keep everybody together. My mom had no point and no point even absorb the name of the hotel we were saying. I wanted to send her home early from dinner one night and this was fine. I didn't mind putting your cab just on the beat along the main beach road. Easy as mom. Where's our hotel she with? I do know I'm like you. They were saying Costume Malka. We've only said it a million times like what the hell the name of the places and I'm like this is what I'm dealing with. I need everybody to stay at ten and to stay alert I just know where the hell you are unless it Mexico's a wonderful beautiful safe place but just got went. Once that new year's fide came in and I knew that all quote unquote burners were. Were there all the parties were there. I said Great. This is when you have to be careful because they don't WanNa fuck with me they wanNA fuck with some dumb ass girl from like USC who's walking on the beach in a White Thong would butterfly wings on going to a fucking Edm concert and the jungle. That's a bitch who's going to get a bad tamale or accidentally good on on a dark alley to buy some drugs next you know. She's in the crossfire of two cartels. I'm not about that life. I'm not I'll tell you what though if you do. Good Unto Saloum on your way back you absolutely without a doubt must and I'm pissed we didn't do it. Stop and you're going to think I'm fucking crazy. Absolutely yes the stopping at the H. M. That is implied imply Dole Carmen Playa. Del Carmen's got a big they call fifth avenue. It's a lot more built up. It's much more touristy. But that H is clean as H. M. They have the best swag agg- I would fly back to Mexico just to go to the gym. I've been going to that one for years. I've said it before I'll say it again. Best in the World Plateau Carmen Mexico. Easy Easy Breezy. Right below the Thompson Hotel on Fifth Avenue. But yeah if you're going to loom state custom Malka. It was amazing. The no man's next door the GNOME. Okay let me tell you what happened one day at lunch. The no man is as like bungalow. Cool Chic everything down into loom is not like your typical hotel. Everything is very much so like inspired by Europeans. It's just very chic now. The problem is there is apparently a documentary out called like what's wrong with to loom or are how someone something like destroying to loom Beasley how to got built up and it was so perfect and then it got built up so quickly that the infrastructure is strong enough to hold like their sewer system and all these things it's right in the jungles who is the beach in the jungle side will barely like Ben. Once a wool was pulled over my eyes. I was like Oh okay I see that like Oh. That's why it smells like sewage around around the corner because they never properly installed any sort of sewer system so then I become also a little jaded. Everything's popping up now again go there. It's amazing it's incredible but I also then started to feel like kind of like an asshole. I was like in my part of the problem. They're very big on recycling and Colm posting composting. Boosting all that shit but then we read the nomad which is like Uber Chic. It's right next to Cosimo calm. The nomad is that place where everybody is is in a phone. Unlisted I've been trying to make conservative bathing suits where they hold you in the front but then your ass cheeks full on the back. I don't know about you. I love my body. Audie love my ass but I want to hold everything together in the front so again putting that on the Vision Board we're GONNA DO Thong one pieces that hold up your titties but everybody episode l.. The no man was in a fall to the point. Where your leg league get it? Okay your body's Air I. Oh it's airbrushed okay cool cool. I've got it now shouted Dow so anyways we go to the nomad and we sit down at the table and this guy I I thought he was speaking in a Russian accent almost like with a touch of German. So okay we sit down to table. The table is set for six but they see their anyways. The great we're having lunch by the beach is going to be great next thing. You know. This guy runs up to our table like five minutes later. Huge what I thought was maybe like a German Danish guy but with the thick like Russian accidents at our table gave us table back. That is my table and so literally just like fuck you on not getting up the New Yorker POPs out you know. And he's he's like no and then the guy tiny little cabana guy runs overdoses like. Hey we'll move you table next door that guys that table I was like okay. Yeah but we've been here but whatever whatever I'm not gonNA argue whatever we'll move smaller table there's only four of us fine but the guy was such a prick about it who's table. It was so he sits down. We moved to a table next tomb. E sitting there for like forty five minutes so we showed up Jeff's huffing and puffing he's finished jazz about the fuck this guy up almost let them know. What's good oh yeah? Are you going to knock us out of our table. Then I'm like we. Hf hold up. He's speaking Russian then. He starts speaking perfect Spanish and it clicked. I was getting so nervous. I literally grabbed Jaffna. Jeff is honestly a lot lot of bark no bite like. He's a gentle teddy bear. I don't think jeff would have like really started something like Jeff. Let it go once. I heard the guy speak Russian and then Spanish I fucking panicked. I was like Oh no he runs the curtail. Okay fully runs a cartel. It's a New Year and I'm sure a lot of us have new year's resolutions. My resolution is truly not give a shit anymore but I am GonNa look great doing it and fabulous athlete. You're from one of my favorite brands on earth fabrics. They basically make looking like you're about to go to the gym the easiest job in the world I go online. My email address take their sixty second style quiz and and the next thing you know they literally send me every suggestion of like matching outfits. That's my biggest thing. I may not go to the gym but if I walk outside the gym I'm at least can have on acute F- Leisure Matching Ching outfit. That's my goal for twenty twenty layoff Meek Aaron okay. I'm starving here's the deal. I've got a special offer just for my absolutely not listeners. What you can do is right now? My audience can get to leggings. That's right two pairs of leggings for only twenty four dollars. That's a ninety nine dollars value as it'd be ip by using my special lake. 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Truly I'm obsessed with Atlantic's they are helping meet Phil Phil Chic and put together in the New Year again. Go to family. Dot Com backslash absolutely not for my exclusive offer now back to the bike cast so then at this point. I'm literally like throwing chips. Just face trying to distract him a coach. Jeff look over there. There's a bird 'cause jeff is now doing this to Piss me off because he knows I'm fully fucking can panicky. So he's just talking shit. He's Almeida I'm GonNa let this guy no us up on my let them know wish good. And I'm like I'm not letting you die in Mexico. My favorite show in the world was narcos. You looked cross eyed at a cartel member. Yes sucking dead homey. Look that's just what it is. That's what it is so I'm not even gonNA play this game. Jeff trying to pump his chest like he's a pufferfish on Mike. I'm done finally got him to cool down. But that's the thing when you go down to these places you gotTa keep your eyes and ears open. Now he talked about it on instagram. I saw deal go down guys. I saw something good down. I don't even know if it's smart for me to be talking about it Ba- let me just tell you what I saw now. My best friend Raymond sought to. I'm not going to tell you where we were. I can't give away those details. I don't know if these people follow me. I'm not trying to die today but I for sure without a doubt saw this deal go down. Were at this really fancy actress. Italian restaurant that was near the CONDO window. We were staying at which clearly all like really rich to loom rich Mexican guys. This is where they lived very fancy not on the beach where it's touristy Christie very fanciest wearing their rain I are sitting next to each other shoulder to shoulder my momma sister sitting across so much that the head of the table but just back my mom. My sister's back are all like facing against what we see happen. All of a sudden I see this guy come up. And he's a very attractive. Young man almost kind of looks. Like who's buried deleting Easter. You know talking about. I can't think of his name chase. That's not chase. Whatever that guy you know what I'm saying brody what does name anyways? This guy's really attractive. He's he's walking up and he's got a suitcase and he's yelling at these two other guys who are running the restaurant and he's like I'm done. I'm done the cabdriver me over the mall nowhere and he's speaking in English with a with a A little accent. He's like I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I'm exhausted. That cabdriver nowhere. I'm pissed so the two guys vice who are running this restaurant gate the whole night. One guys unlike A onesie from Morocco like this cool she calf Tanny Onesie Linzie moment. That's made out of this really nice linen that I did say said Sir I like your onesies goes from Morocco. Next thing you know they're like okay. Cool calm down calm down. They throw them in the back of a Hummer and and then they just drive him off. So there's a couple of waiters still left at the restaurant and this woman who runs a restaurant but these two young guys have just put this guy in a hummer with a suitcase and he's left five minutes later. The hammer comes back literally the guy who showed up with the suitcases no longer in there to Chugai. She were in the car who are running this restaurant. Get Out of the car separately in a weird way like one of a walks out the passenger side and like walks around the car in a weird way. The other one makes a beeline the other way other like. Why aren't you guys? Getting out of the Carla kind of Chit Chatting. It was the oddest thing. Then the next thing you know out of nowhere this cab driver pulls up. He starts talking to the guys. He's screaming at the guys. The guys animal bunch of money. There's there's words exchange. I see a suitcase being exchanged from the Hummer back into the taxi. This guy's lickety-split out there then of course the guy looks directly at let me so there's a guy in a onesie imagine and then there's another guy running the restaurant whose clear like the owner's son and he's a really good looking very fair. Skin almost like almost is a green eyed. Very sexual looking man and he's in like a typical Tommy. Bahama shirts the guy that Tommy Bahama Shirt looks directly at Ray and I really like rain. I looked at each other. Take time like is he looking at us. This is what I know. I'm like Oh. They know that we know that they know that. We all know that something just went down next thing you know and without skipping a beat out of nowhere this old guy old guy who clearly owns the entire fucking neighborhood comes out of the Super Fancy restaurant lights a cigar points of the two younger guys the guy in the ones in the guy in the Tommy Bahama shirt like Like almost like a mom so like sit down we gotta talk about what just happened. Tippin sits down. This guy. Douses himself had bug spray. That's a big thing. Let me tell you even the Mexican guys down there that live in the jungle. Or still trying to douse themselves. The bug spray sprite are. There's too many fucking bugs in that junk. I got eaten alive next thing you know. They're all sitting at this table and rain are on like right. What the fuck do we just win as he goes? I don't know but that other do that. Originally showed up at the suitcase is returned. Okay they clearly that other suitcase put it in the taxes like something like a like an exchange of money all all of these things just started to to move hands then basically the mob boss sits down this woman out of nowhere brings a platform drink. He's got like a special thing. Set up the other a two younger guys have to sit down and explain to him. What just happened? I was like our song. We need to check. We gotta go there now looking back at my table because they know that we know that they know that that something just went down. I mean I'm afraid telling this story. I'm not even giving you that much detail and I'm worried I'm scared frigging straight. MSNBC SEE locked up. Ross straight. Do you know what I'm saying because I witnessed something I witnessed something. That probably shouldn't have so a lot of been begging me on instagram. To tell you about what I saw what I saw what I saw. And that's all I can tell you but without a doubt without a even twinge in my I mind I saw deal go down and at that moment I was like I'm ready to go. I'm I'm ready. I saw too much I came I conquered and now Mama is ready for a nap and honestly I was ready. Very Houston's enlisted. The food in Mexico's goes fresh as hell. I'm not eating. It's a sin your frog some bullshit I mean really incredible restaurants the cool thing about dilemmas. They have all these chefs that game from noma which is like famous restaurant in Copenhagen. That was like the number one restaurant in the world. Two guys came from there and they open. This was called Arca. So you can get really high Ryan like Michelin Star Restaurants until him but you also see a drug deal. Go down and there might not be any plumbing. This is what I will tell you. Some of these tells are Eco. Chic they say eco chic that basically weekly just translate to know fuck and air conditioning. I don't know about you but even if it's January I mean. It was still eighty-five degrees every day. I don't fuck with no air-conditioning that's my my personal be like moment. I don't do that so I'm just warning. You tell us. This ECO Chic. That means you're GONNA be sweating in a mosquito net. Don't don't do it to yourself absolutely. Not what's an absolutely yes from the trip absolutely yes suspending. Good time good times good people great marks. I lost six expounds yes from the diarrhea but also and I've said this before every time I go to Europe the food is just pure I ate tacos to st does everyday waves ranchera cherish every single morning and I still came back and lost about six to eight pounds. Didn't work out. Once did not work out a single time. When for maybe Leisure Stroll I was drinking everyday at about about eleven? Am Loss Weight. You want to know why. Because when there's no preservatives in the food your body metabolize it differently plain and simple i. I've got a buddy. Hunter Shadow donder. He lost like fifty pounds. He moved to Guadalajara to open a gym there and he's Mexican his partner Franz Mexican and he's I gather also fifty pounds just living in Mexico. I'm not even barely working out. It's just 'cause I'm not eating this shitty food in America absolutely yes to come back thin. We're GONNA get even more in shape. It's not about a number. I just WANNA feel great for my wedding absolutely yes Mexican chips. It is a matter if you get barbecue or you know sour cream cream Cheddar. Everything has a little bit of a limo. Negga Limo a lime flavor to them everything's got a touch citrus and I'm here for it you know what I I did. When I was drunk I gotTa White Pizza Blanca Pizza? Quattro for Maggi Cortra- K.. So if you're you speak Spanish slice open some lemons. Put a little rule on that douse at thing and salt and pepper and lemons or lime. Change Your Life if you're not putting lemon or lime or some sort of citrus pitchers drizzled on your pizza you. You're missing out. You're missing out is the way to go absolutely yes to more citrus. I love fruit water. You you know you can put cat litter but also then put a cucumber in my water and I drank. It wouldn't even notice the chunks. That's how much I'm easily split. Blake persuaded swayed by fruit water. So gimme a chip with the little lemon or lime action. 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I mean absolutely yes to just thriving absolutely absolutely not okay. Let's even get into absolutely frigging not to these cross fit couples. I talked about it on instagram. Yeah I get it that everybody down. There wasn't a Thong but we gotta talk talk about this at cross fit couples on vacation. have gotTA fucking stop it is seven. Am I am hung over eating waivers. Jerry's that sixteen memo's why am I watching you. You and your husband. Do Wind sprints down the fucking beach. You know what's worse when they don't even wear sneakers and they have this webbed amphibian like lizard shoes. Barry's bootcamp and I've talked about this before you're on a treadmill and then the next guy next to you don't have on Nike as those Amphibian. Vivian fucking weird web shoes get the fuck Outta here. I absolutely do not have time for that. So riddle me this. I'm sitting there at breakfast and then I see a woman who's about. I don't know five to bench pressing. Her husband not even like they're going for a morning walk. They're doing some yoga or stretching there ham. Me's he's getting a cool down. Where dog you know son citation becoming one with the earth? This woman is bench pressing her fucking husband grunting Like Johnny we got six more. I was furious. I almost threw a knife at why are exercise couples. The worst set it on on instagram. I'll say it again even jeff and I got a wild hare brass. Listen we're trying to train. We're we're I need to get physically active again. I love being physically active. I've lost so my muscle definition. That's really what I WANNA do is just build muscle again but even if jeff and I became runners which we would never because we're both too top heavy my tits hurt. When I run I would at least make Hebei? We're not going to run together because I'm not GonNa WanNa talk to you. I'M GONNA WANNA listen to a podcast or listening. You know. I don't know the spice girls like I'm not GonNa WanNa Fuck Chit Chat with you. Well we go for a jog. What I'M GONNA WANNA do is go back to my hotel room while you're out for your run? Take a nice peaceful shed where I can't have you bothering me where I don't have to feel rushed turn on the water. Anything just do my thing. You come back you then take your peaceful shit. I tell you I'm going to go out. You go for a run but I don't I go to the beach bar eight. Am and I get sixty five my ties. You know maybe a sex on the beach. Maybe then after you're done shitting then you come out have a couple of my ties and then we just just have sex on the beach. The fact that I gotTa Watch you bench. Press your husband. Also listen it's enough. It's an absolute frig enough with the. I got to be just as strong as him. I learned that the hard way move in furniture with Jeff body was gonNA kill me but I pick up at three hundred fifty pound marble table almost lost oeste limb and Jeff at one point grab meaning goes sweetie I love you. I'm so glad you're empowered. I'm so glad you feel strong. I'm glad I'm Mary strong woman. But can you please not I try and kill yourself throughout your back by proving that you're she man and in that moment I said you're right Jeff. I'm doing too much. And that's an absolutely not. But what an assault on my own personal vacation DAB to sit there in my already my bathing suit by nine. Am I'm ready to go. Roared up having to Moses getting away those Ranchera Chili Rellenos. I love Deseo now. That's breakfast and then I got to listen to you Claire Huffing and puffing down the frigging beach chasing your idiotic nomadic meathead husband while you both have t shirts on that say cross. Ross Fit Austin. I'm done you've ruined my morning. You've ruined my vacation. Take a chill bill. Guess what on the seventh day. God made Sunday to rest. You can't have days off. No days off is some bullshit. Take a day off. Have a Jimmy Chunga look could do. Each Other's is maybe take a day off make vision board. Also I love it. Everyone's gotta be shredded shredded cheese shredded lettuce on my NACHOS. No body fat. Well guess what when your face gets old Claire My face Alex young and fresh as a daisy easy. Why 'cause I've Collagen and still hear it little baby fat there? Everybody wants to be thin. But did you see the Golden Globes like like I saw the Golden Globes the other night everybody looked like a hot frigging mass. Everybody needs fillers. They're all too thin. It's too much a little fat. Would do as some good okay. You guys make fun of Chubb's now let me tell you what Gimme thirty years. I'm GONNA look frigging fantastic. Well your face looks older than all hell your face is going to look like an old kneecap. Yeah I said it. You want to know why 'cause you having think giving your body a break and the fuck and carb or a sandwich and nine months also when I see crossfire women on like instagram. And they're doing the fucking you know like pushing tires across railroad tracks and look. It's enough absolutely not. We do not have to be as strong as the men physically. You want to know why we can be strong and healthy but we also have to like be men. I can wake up on my vacation. Get a massage by nine. Am and Have Sixteen Shrimp Tacos by ten am. You want to know why. That's what I just did. Do Pets me living my truth. Be Itch also side note. Jeff you know. I've said at this before but women are superior sex just when it comes to everything. Jeff Scott Cold. He wasn't feeling great detail in Mexico. We're all kind of like back and forth. And he's in New York right now I'm in Atlanta. And he called me and he's like. Oh Heather I took a dayquil and they excedrin migraine tonight. I'm like here's my thing. I always carry. We like a small medicine cabinet with me. But I've got my oil now. I've got the acid reflux medicine. I got the you know the Zana's if you need and he always like Oh. You have so many bills on my Gab. But I actually know how to take the pills. Like I'm only taking what I need to ninety took an Excedrin migraine which has caffeine. And everyone knows that. DAYQUIL which is the betta means is the Tweaker when I said Baby Jab to show them your license he goes. Yeah I said you'RE GONNA call me at five. Am and you're going to be literally doing laps in Times Square. You've walk from our apartment thirty blocks north and you literally be tweaking scratching your skin off by the tk t s booth because because you took too many uppers and that's a wrap. That's on gone. I said did you not even think to ask the pharmacist. Whether that was too much as a why did you take dayquil. It's nine PM at night. He's a notice today. I don't why why should I take the NYQUIL around eleven pm like ours. The Sun's gone down chef. How he is made it on this planet thus far wild wild to me highly intelligent man? But you didn't think to read the ingredients and Excedrin Excedrin and a dayquil fucking wild to me. Arabs Louis. Yes to Mexico absolutely taken time off absolutely not drugs in in Mexico absolutely not to cross couples in Mexico absolutely not to jeff taking drugs in America because he never even read what anythings made of but eam as audacity to make fun on a me and my Lisa Renna bag bills. Get the fuck Outta here. Absolutely frigging not child's play Sir child's frigging play guys. I feel like this year is going to be really great and thank you for letting me kind of break down what I did over the holidays. Thank you for letting me get a couple of things off my chest. We're going to be back next week with interviews and I promise to bring you a lot of great interviews this year. y'All it was hard being on the road. It was really hard to try nail down people and I think again I wanNA stay true to who I am and the people that I care about it there. Is Anybody that you want me to interview. Please let me know tweet at me. Heather Kay McMahon slide in my. DM's on instagram. I yeah definitely want to get people into the studio that you love but hopefully I can really crank out some great interviews but again. I'm not doing vander pumps. I'm not doing Ding dongs. If I like them and I find them interesting interesting I want this to be an honest. Absolutely yes conversation but I wanted to be authentic. I'm not bringing in Julian Huffing and my studio so we can talk about better fucking Tony Robinson Pyramid scheme motivational bullshit. Have y'all seen these videos. Online just watch it Juliana. Derek are trying to do some bullshit. Tony Robbins like motivational dramatic. Swindle people out of their money tell them they're not worth anything. I can't with that woman. Jackie Schimmel a dear your friend of mine. She and I both agree on how much we can't stand Julianne Huff. I'M GONNA get some footage for you. And I maybe I get Juliana on the bike and let her explain herself if it's too much it's insufferable. Do not let anybody swindle you into buying into some bullshit program this year that you need to pay somebody the money to be a better version of yourself you yourself. Follow me. I'll keep it one hundred. I'll tell you where you need to go on vacation what you need to do. Don't take drugs you know you can do though when you get to Mexico go to the Pharmacia by whatever the fuck you need. You Got Diabetes. Medicine go to Mexico. It's fucking cheaper. He needs ZANIES. Go to Mexico. I'll tell you well you can walk right in there. Any trauma over exploded Bam there you go half price cleaner to trust big Pharma. Absolutely not too big Pharma Pharma you and I both though they got a cure for cancer but their high need somewhere in a vault somewhere in Colorado because Pfizer makes too much damn money. Wow that we could really get crazy on that note. I'M GONNA end dear ladies and gentleman. I promise you know and I promise to do whistle blowing some more shit this year. I'm GONNA blow the ass off the elephant not really when I go to Thailand. Actually try and put the elephants asked back on because apparently they're fallen off over there and I plan on going to a wonderful place. Ace in Chiang Mai Northern Thailand to you know work with the conservation and bring awareness and try and help the elephants but when it comes to conspiracy theories is and big Pharma blow in the ass off the elephant metaphorically speaking. I'm excited about what this year has in store for us. I feel like we're just gonNA crush but we gotta say focus. We gotTA giggle the world's getting crazy out there. Stick with me kid. I got you do not listen to Julian off. Do not stick equip me all sorts Colt motivational speeches. And you know what we'll do we'll do a slide show on all the reasons why I can't would Julianne Huff. I love you I miss miss you. I am so excited for this year remember. Click subscribe to all of the things. Stay tuned were adding more tour dates. Please check in. Check the INSTAGRAM's grams. Tell more your friends to follow me. Let's make this go viral twenty twenty s a year we all together as a collective so my TV show. I WanNa do big things and I wanna be in each and every one of your household and I want another reason for your husband so loved me you know. Maybe they don't get the instagram. But you know what they're gonNA get me topless on their television. I'm kidding getting I haven't read that into the script but maybe I should fuck it. Everybody into loom was dongs. I'm GonNa live my truth on my own. TV Show tits up tits out baby baby. I love each and every one of you remember. Let's make this year. It can only go here if you almost pooped your pants the Cancun airport aching only go up from here. We we got this. We're GONNA make this the best year of our lives. You know why because we're GONNA do it together. I love each and every one of you see you next week on the podcast. Thanks for tuning in absolutely s us to all the exciting things we haven't story this year. Love You my baby's Chow bye-bye riveted. Thanks so much for listening to today's episode don't forget to Subscribe Raisin Lieber Review and as always follow me on Instagram instagram at Heather. Kay McMahon. See you guys soon

Mexico Jeff body Cancun Atlanta diarrhea Louis Vitton Golden Globes Claire Huffing Guy Fieri Heather McMahon Europe La Fifteenth La Miami Beach Jim Vision Board Termi
Agent Carter S1E5: The Iron Ceiling

Capes and Lunatics

36:25 min | Last month

Agent Carter S1E5: The Iron Ceiling

"This episode of keeps and lunatics is brought to you by tweaked audience, awesome headphones, good at tweaked audio dot com, and use the coupon code southgate to get thirty percent off free shipping and a lifetime warranty where he can get there through the link on our website Southgate Media Group DOT COM. Me Hardee's and with him once again who? Stream. Your Captain Charlie. Professor, Esser, and with me as a reasons, my first meet and skinny rich friend. It's nice. Aim is what can once again ladies and gentlemen full steam ahead. camps, alert and southgate media groups. Only show for amazing streaming content or reviews their of tonight's episode. Season one episode, five of agent Carter the iron ceiling. Finally gets a chance to prove herself. She is sent on a mission in Russia with agent, Johnson and howling commandos and the howling commandos meanwhile agent. Sousa makes an important discovery. Directly this week is a Mr Peter Leto. Relation to jared Stanley and Jack Kirby of course. Get the based on kind of expect, but it Christopher Markus and Stephen mcfeely. Created by credits this episode was written by. Jose Molina. And then we have the concept of how in commandos were created by Jack Lee, instead Kirk. Jack Jack Kirby and Stanley. Red Room was created by J Jones and Devin Grayson. So this episode Yeah I mean. I feel bad for the poor nerdy code cracker that you know. You know if he wasn't feeling. You know intimidated by room full of Jack Start with. Taking completes his lunch. But you know the I felt bad for the poor little girl in the beginning. Oh well, yeah, the little girl in the beginning man. Oh, that was that was dark. Surprising park I was like wow, I didn't think I'd see that the show. Now, you know this was remember when this came out. This is right about the time age of Altron came out. So this is when we first get. There are glimpses of the Red Room. With Natasha Romanoff. and. This is the early black widow project. And, of course we see if it wasn't obvious in the last episode that Daddy. Gowdy. Daddy. a typewriter Daddy. Daddy Underwood's. Daddy Underwood. Is definitely a back. To go along with our with our agent Carter to be are evil. And weren't they saying that The black widow is probably still alive because she was replaced by her her sister. and. That's the theory. So what? What's interesting is Dadis in the mirror, trying to assume the personality of Peggy Carter what plans to act on that and how she choose to go back, I don't know, but it definitely seems like that's a known mo of this, so could lead credence to the fact that like when it was actually still alive. that's an interesting aspect of the theory hadn't really considered very good But basically you know. Carter cracks that code. was that you know she. She makes the obvious point that the guy who's trying to decoding didn't consider that it was originally in Russian which I would think that would have been the obvious thing to think that it would probably sent in Russia not in English, but I. Know he wasn't very good at his job Yeah! Conveniently, not very good at their job. Yeah, well, you know you need to do that, so peggy can shine you know and Peggy does shine because she does show that you know she can. Do the code cracking in her head. She speaks fluent Russian. And you know, but still They don't want to have her go. and makes you know you know a honest, but know that's one of the things that they're sexist, but they're honest about it. You know where they say you know just like just like What's his name? Thomson was Jack Thompson. And the previous episode says to you know, pick you. Why are you here? No. No Man will ever give you the respect, and you know for what it's worth, you know. She knows he's right. In this world that is the world living. But, you know he's not. He's not being mean about it. He's just saying you know. This is the world we live in and again right now duly. Staying you know listen, you will not be accepted. By Or you know if I send you on this mission and you get killed. I'm the I'm the guy who got a woman killed in the line of duty, and if you go on this mission, someone else gets killed. I'm GONNA catch that to which makes an opponent on you. Yes, take a blame. But you know she makes the point that you know if I can get us the hundred and fourth one hundred fifty. What exactly which they called themselves? You know if I can get them. We you know I can go and he's like. Yeah, sure every get the. Howling commandos to show up which I honestly think that was kind of a stupid thing to say. No. She knows cap. Feels like obviously she knows the howling commandos. That dummy thinks he's not gonna be able to deliver on that when. When she brings it up. So, they agree to They agreed to let her go. And this leads to an interesting exchange. Where you know She wants to change in the men's room with men's locker room. Because it's the only locker room, they have and you know. And it would be. It would be really ridiculous of her to change into combat gear. In a public restroom. Three floors down which is like. You know. The forties. But because of this because of this because she goes in because he's there because she's doing the change. and. They pulled a little prank on Sosa. Were they tell them to go? Look in the other locker for his compass now. How he didn't realize she was there when he walked in, I don't know, but we go with it. But he walks in and sees her. In her in her in her underwear. And then she turns around and. So soc- something. He sees three telltale. Winds on her shoulder which match. Similar marks on the shoulder. Of the Blonde who killed spider? And this is where those he'll start turning. And this is. This is kind of important point in this. Because this is going to be something that Sousa is. GonNa to figure out, and then we'll have to figure out what Susa GonNa do with this information. Right towards the. He knows yeah, yeah, so eve, and he chooses to keep it quiet. Is he weighing whether or not? She's a good guy. weighing you know her her friendship with Captain America and and the credibility that affords her or is he thinking? She really aspire I'm thinking. He's probably thinking that she's probably doing something good. Otherwise he would have said something to somebody about it way earlier. That really believed that it was issue of national security. Well Yeah I mean I think that's the case I think. There's also the possibility that it's not that much to go on yet. It's like okay. Her and this other woman have similar have similar markings, 'cause. Obviously, it's only a photograph of the other woman. You don't even know those input wounds. You know they could have just been three randomly placed moles. You know so he doesn't want to. He wants it a little bit more. Maybe he wants to confront her about it. you know answer to decide? What is the best course of action forward? in the meantime in the meantime of course, Peggy and Thompson and her, and you know two other gentlemen from the From the from the Yeah S. Agent Mike Lee an agent. Rick Ramirez Go with her or or all in the plane and you know. They're all nervous course, peggy, she's note. Handed this you know. And I think she makes a point to Thomson about you know I've never jumped out of a plane before six I've gone done three times I hated every time you know. Era Practice jumps. You know there were. They were many so it, you know. It's it's not always fun but they do land, and of course the howlers I can't remember what the past is. Dumped on, sale EMU. EMU Ostrich its eagle. And get a nice little exchange. And when they're all sitting around the campfire immediately, I thought just give me one Fart we one fart. Blazing Saddles. They keep it classy. Yeah. You know they decided. Lady was present. You know. Anyway they. Lied on their telling Tall Tales about you know the the abominable snowman and the that they thought. You know it's funny because it's funny because you really Oh. This is the moral universe. They might have any at some point you know. Yeah I. Can't remember. Which one is they said was the real one, the Yeti or the abominable abominable snowman. You know. Yeah, I think he said the yet, he was real. And that sake. And You know they go into and get. And Peggy is for what it's worth is trying to. Ingratiate Thomson. With them. By pointing out that he has a navy cross. Now that he has this really big. You know he's. He's got a fancy metal. But, of course, we can also see that he doesn't really WANNA. Talk about it, but he does tell his story. How generous? Peggy was with him in that moment. Well, you know I, think at the end of the day. She still trying to build these bridges. Yeah, and you know and that's the thing it's like because because he is, you know he's a sexist, but he's honest. I don't think it's so much that he has any particular asthma or anathema. I don't remember the word works but I. Don't think he has any animus towards peggy per se, he just says you know this is the way the world this. His team, so you've got a jealous team before you go to a job. I think Haida Height of professionalism on our part. And not just on this level, but in genuine level to bring him into the fold to make him feel a little better so that we're all cohesive and be good for him to. Very generous. And we come across. In the morning, a Oh by the way, and it's nice to see the howlers back. A little disappointed that we don't get Gabriel Jones in this, but we have happy Sam Sawyer instead. Who was not from the first division I? Don't know what happened to Gabriel Jones from the original one, but decided to switch him out for Happy Sam now. In the Comic Books Happy Sam Sawyer was actually the it was a white guy and he was. The was the commanding officer of Nick Fury in the howling commandos, and they always called pappy Sam, because he was always very very stern face, so they've used to make that joke. Oh, good, old! Happy like he is You know we're sort of those weird things where you wonder like Oh. Is that like supposed to suggest something about you know the World War, two lineage of? Of, maybe nick fury somewhere along the line. Maybe he's actually. Maybe it was happy Sam. Sawyer is kid or something like that, but. Yeah, you know these questions you ask in these moments, but. Put, they do come across the the the Russian facility which we see is the red room which is also. It's interesting because it seems abandoned. and. The time stamp they gave in the first scene was nineteen thirty seven. So I thought that was a moment in Dadis life. But then I'm thinking. Of. Maybe none of those girls had anything to do with the past and they're currently. You know I wasn't sure. Oh, did they did? They say that was nineteen thousand seven? Rush at to start yeah? Yes because this is in the fifties, writer or Well this is. One of the early forties early fifties. Yeah, I actually think it's like nineteen, forty, eight or something. Not, too, far after World War, two because obviously everyone's. World War veteran nests So yeah, it's it's. It's You know so I. Didn't see them say Miami. Maybe they did I just didn't see it, but 'cause I thought that was the same girl that we thought the beginning who said. To me, but then they were just generic looking, you know. Early. Yeah. Or, maybe daddy's a clone. Jumped on. maybe maybe just picturing a because of something that was in agents of shield. which is what we're also watching some. Maybe I'm confusing the two that could be it to. BE A dip? In the fifties but But we'll get to that. We'll get to that in a few moments as well in the meantime but yeah, but it's it's just weird. How abandoned the facility is four facility? That's clearly active because it does have the one baby black widow still there. It does have guards eventually come and to prisoners. So, it's like weird that all this stuff is going on, but it still almost completely abandoned. when they do meet and. You know part of me thinks that you know that maybe black widow. She killed all her classmates. And now that I think about Oh. Wow, that's probably what happened. was basically you know they all thought and fought and fought than whoever was the one who killed them all she got to graduate. I mean maybe anything's possible. We'll probably get a lot more of that. When we get to the actual black widow, some what the procedure was in the bedroom. But you know. It's sort of like Damore, end and Nebula where they just always had to fight each other every day you know. and to make each one better and this case, it's like obviously they can't just replace parts with parts, so they just fight to the death and you know. It gets dark. But in that moment you know they find the little girl and you know and And Dumdum is going to be like hey, little girl I'm not going to hurt to yourself. You like my hat. It's you know it's what it's called a bowler hat. Because Hey. Why do they call a bowler? And then she stabs him. Which? It is. It is neat now. Of course he's like. He was wearing. You know the armor, the titanium Shurmur so he's not gonNA. Get you know he's okay. For the most part you know but it is, it is interesting because you know then he goes to go after and space I don't kill her, you know. What does she do seconds later? She doesn't kill her, does she does? She shoots Lee? Or Not Lear. Happy. Whatever. No, she doesn't sh-. Oh, she shoots happy. Yeah, the big girls should sheets happy right right so? They don't kill, but she turns around and she doesn't kill. Happy just runs him. No I think he makes it. I think the only one who dies is Ramirez it at the end of this. Oh, oh interesting I thought. No I don't think so. They shoot him, but you know they you know. I don't think it was a a lethal wound. I. Don't think so I could be wrong. I don't think it was and obviously if that was the case in my talk about you know You Know Sawyer, being somehow involved the would not make a lot of sense so. So. Let's assume that no I. Don't think but yes, she says attacks. Happy Sam and You know it's it's interesting and again it's this weird idea that this whole facility is almost guarded by the little girl. Which I guess. Maybe that's a point you made like. Hey, that's all. We need a little girl, but it is odd in the way that it that it seems to play out they do find. The scientists they find of scientists. With assigned to. Scientists in a way too right. Yeah I mean. that's. A doctor. Ching-kuo I. Believe is the Is the HIP. The ecologist that we see there and. Nicola Nicola is. The is the physicist because they need the physicist to understand, so he only gets one name to. needs physicist understands starks blueprints. But of course they also need the psychiatrist to help maintain his mental stability. Well. He's doing the work. Yeah. That is I. Mean it's interesting how this whole thing plays out because they do get into this firefight we do see. There are other guards there. And they do get trapped. We do see that little girl. Is like you know is still running around. Yeah, I think I think I think Sam gets shot in the leg if I'm not mistaken. Just around to the scene that he gets shot right in the chest and Azer walking away, he WHO's the the head howling commando? What's his name? Mustache down. It takes his dog tags off of it means Oh. Yeah, that's right. That's right, okay? Oh, say, let's tumor on this I. Think 'cause. Ramirez get shut to Ramirez early it's one of the other. I know she's still to this episode. Yeah Oh, so she kills Ramirez early as well okay. She kills the girl at the beginning. Oh yes. Oh, yes, he kills the girl. She Kills Happy Sam Man. That's sad, that's. Very High Count Yeah for our child no less. Also forth worth for for a essentially. A family program you know when you're killing, you know meeks last episode you kind of the well. He was makes Kinda clearly had it coming, but now we're killing the good guys. You know not even unlikable guys. we're killing little girls. Yeah, the stacking court witness. Yeah, but In. Average ANCO. I believe. Is Kills Nicola. When the when Nicola is trying to, basically, you know, negotiate his freedom. See I thought that he had Sam. I thought San was together that he was holding. Let's was. He was. Happy Sam is the White Guy Right. No Happy San was the black guy. So who's the white guy? That's Ramirez, I guess Ramirez is the young white kid that the little girl shoots. Because there's one guy that gets shot at the end and one guy that gets shot at the beginning. Right it's. It's the white guy that gets shot my little girl. She grabs the the revolve around of somebody's holster spins around and shoots the the young kid. Now I pick. You are the howling commandos I don't think he was part of a Thompson's. Yeah? I'm not quite sure now, I'm I'm I'm I'm blinking myself? Who who who gets you, but I know that one. Agent who get shot at the end I believe? I think I'm I'm pretty sure no, he's I. Don't have enough right now, but yeah, so but it's telling I think that a veteran coat kills the. Kills the scientists? even as Even as You know Dumdum does break him to give them their their their egress, and it's you know it's. Save the agents or I don't know I don't know what his motivation was. To. Know what? The motivation was to try to make that deal happen. It seems like such A. Illogical, conclusion to makes you know in that situation given how smart and supposedly. You mean the Colo or yeah the scientists. Know well! No, he's he. He's speaking in Russian, so he's hoping that no one's listening and from his perspective. They're outnumbered so if he tries to make it seem like hey, I wasn't trying to escape. Kill all guys. Just take me back or let me go back to my family, I. Know that you know like if he's going to survive this and he's going to do it on the side of his captors. It's only gonNA lead to one thing so in that respect. He doesn't really even need any leverage. He is the level. You can just run over and go. Hey, save me. into. To Do to take Haas. That's didn't really need it. And I know what to do. I know what to do. You think like you know the brilliant scientists and have some sort of a plan, but it's the silliest plan ever. Yeah, well, you know and to be fair. He's you know he's a scientist. He's not he's not A. HE'S NOT A. US. You know he's he's literally just you know. Trying to try trying to get home you know and that's part about it and and you know it is also this kind of an interesting aspect when you think about it. If. He were to go with pegging them. He's not going back to Kiev. You Know He. You know they're not going to. Drop them off in Kiev because I if he goes back to. Kiev, he and his family are going to be just picked up again. And quite frankly his family is going to. Be probably harmed because he left. So you know from his perspective he's. Not Dead already my. They're probably dead and the idea that his wife and whatever's out. There is only like a fiction. His psychiatrist to keep his mind together. Yeah, yeah, you know sort of like. Sort of parallels of iron ironman in that you know where the guy's like Oh. You know I'll be with my family again after this, his family like died. Ten years ago and you know. And like a nicer reversal that in the fact that this one scientist betrays them all but Yeah. However it works. They do escape. They do get out. and. They THEY TAKE A. The doctor with them? He's going to cooperate. Takes, for dumb dumbs. Bourbon Sh- Fairly got to drink any of it. You know four guy to give it to. Somebody couldn't even really appreciate it. That's alcoholism for you. So much taste here. Yes. There you go, and you know and. Also as a bourbon ricker myself it the first time you hit it, it does it does have a powerful flavor. It grows on you, but. False! You know distinctly American quality you know. Well it's got the plate. That's what I love. It's the corn in the whiskey. See that's what people don't realize. It's 'cause. Bourbon has to have a really strong bite that most most other whiskies tried to subdue. And Bourbon. Has that really forward bite to it? Were you tasted alcohol? I love that. That's what I love. Best about Bourbon is that it really reminds you. This is alcohol. Take it seriously, and and there's an art to taking that bite. You know picking it apart into its individual notes and poetically bringing the back together to to say like a poem in alcohol, Form Yes. I've been we love you. Accept No substitutes Kentucky Bourbon. Anyway, but they do get back. Ever ching-kuo is going to be. Going to the fact, although again. We'll see. We'll see how that all works out. You know We it Little Daddy Underwood, and we do of course end with Susa not calling anyone out not. Pointing this out, but we know he knows he is trying to decide what to do with this information. In know, and that is the. That is the difficult part of this. What do I do with this information? Any thoughts on tonight's episode is. The other thing that I think is an important note. To mention is how Thomson froze under fire. Gets Great. Slow motion, heroic shot of Peggy Carter, saving everybody, and does not even announce sweat under pressure to say as just a my Sunday. And and that is such. A great aspect of the PTSD at Thomson suffers from. Also just which we see at the end of it and almost almost buried the lead on this whole thing. that his entire heroism is ally. Yeah and that is. Such a deep confidence. And literally he's giving this Peggy. which she now she could destroy him with this right again. The generosity of spirit. Can give them to afford in that room to say okay. You've laid it on me now. You laid it out. Let it go. You're fine. And that was beautiful. I know and it is beautiful, and it is the part of me wonders. Did he just want her to? You know it's like you know he has this major imposter central, and does he just want to be found out so it can be over. You, know let it be known that he committed this war crime that was an accident, but he did it and everyone thought he was a hero, and then he hid the evidence of the white flag because. The way. Too, late. With right aside, but this is the first time it's been marginally okay to be that person because somebody already saw him as a person, so the GIG is up. Up and you know so now it's easier for him to say it, and it's almost a relief where. You know he didn't have to actively make the decision to be responsible for those actions, but now it's thrust upon, and might as well take the chance, and she makes it really easy for him there twos and and he's grateful for it clearly. Yeah. Yeah, he is, and it is. And you know, and of course he he gives the props to Peggy at the end in. Now he says I'll notify you know Ramirez's family and that's my job. Because I was deleted, and he also makes the point in Carter got us through this card really was central and L. to his to his credit thompsons. Good good work. And they even invite Peggy out for the drake. She gets to go get with the boys. So that I didn't take that moment to. Be Sort of a stand on anything that it was just a genuine. Fun adorable moment that you want to go, and she has no reservations about it. No bad feelings, no insecurity nothing. She's like. Yeah. That sounds like fun I've been waiting forever for you. Guys asked me so. It's thought that was really really cool. Yeah, well, you know he odor Bourbon. So that's that's that was what was sweet about it and you know but that. That she. Didn't you know pretend not to care? That she was genuine, allowed herself to be excited by, she wasn't bogged down with what it means or whatever I thought that was. Really really cool touch. Yes, it was. It was very. It was very well done okay. So So I guess that's this episode. You know if you're listening to this episode right now. Hopefully, hopefully, you were doing it. And tweak audio headsets on find sponsors of capability takes on the southgate. Media Group Network leaving sponsors with us for a very long time, so you can go back many many episodes ago, you'll still hear a singing. The praises of tweaked audio. So hope you are doing listening to this podcast Anti Dario, and if you don't have audio would also recommend you. Scroll down into the show notes looks at Amazon. Link Click on that. Go to Amazon and bite. We cardio headsets. 'cause they sell just about everything at tweaked audio including a pod life the book if you've ever wondered what is that drives, men and women of good sense to become podcasters. This is the book for You The heartfelt tales of members of the Southgate Media Group family, just discussing what makes them want to be podcast? It's it's. It's a real good book. I highly recommend it to all of you. And if you do not want any of that. Please go on over two hundred killer dot com, and check out the entire hunter killer product where you get the hunter killer cause. Wouldn't that be fun? Hunter killer just like Peggy Carter. Oh right. Mas If you'd like to reach out to you and talk to you. How can they do so? They can email me at Mas Manzoor at June now dot com, or find me on facebook under Mas Manzoor, that's M. O. W.. M., A., N. Z., W. O. R., and of course you'd like to write to me in an old fashioned mail, mass and puzzle instead. Please do so at superconductivity bug edgy dot com. That's who we're. GonNa all one word at Jamile DOT, com and of course. It because you know what I fund, he stayed up till ten o'clock at night and I did in fact live tweet agents of shield this week. Termi Esser. That C. H. A. R.. E. E. S. E. R. Look for the to eat in the middle. Quality. Thank you. Hurt he's once again. You have sailed on the good ship full steam ahead. We hope that you have gained some knowledge of some great things any in the signature less for adventure one more time. Please in a week, come on back as we explorer new ports exciting new. Come aboard we've been expecting you. For Stream. Are.

Peggy Carter Rick Ramirez Thomson pappy Sam scientist Sam Sawyer Jack Thompson Red Room Gabriel Jones Sousa Southgate Media Group Dadis Nicola Nicola Termi Esser Daddy Underwood Jose Molina Russia Susa Mike Lee Mr Peter Leto
AKA Sorry Face: JonesCast S3E6

Nuff Said: The Marvel, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, and Comics Fan Podcast

30:04 min | 11 months ago

AKA Sorry Face: JonesCast S3E6

"This episode is brought to you by tweaked audio. Get Awesome headphones tweaked audio dot com and use the coupon code southgate get thirty percent off free shipping and a lifetime warranty worked where he can get there through the link on our website Southgate Media Group DOT com. It's really really WANNA be off for Hey Brands Termi professor esser with me as always this is my skinny rich friend. It's MAS. Hey so glad you're here for quality tonight. We are once again in the final season of Jessica. Down Season Three Episode Six Aka sorry face as the police shit sipped who the Gruesome Crime Scene Jessica and Tricia race defined cylinders latest captive Tim Yucca final Is there director this week. Bryan Michael Bender and Michael Gaydos are gonNA marvel created buys Jesse Harris. It's written by Jedi. Hope and Jamie King are Bo story editing the crap out of this episode so and Melissa Rosenberg gets of course that created by credit Jamie keen portion of the show or it's working minute showbusiness okay. Oh Aw man this. Oh it's it's a lot it's a lot this is a heavy heavy stuff and man oh that guy that that that that's what salinger the fool. He's such a fool killer. Why is he still alive from fun. Of course we open up and you know you get this. This sort of I guess what we can say is essentially the the the the constant problem. We're going to be facing with getting senator which is that in order for Jessica to protect other people. She can't build the case you know and that is that is the thing because of course you know Salinger against away they she finds all the body parts that he led him lead them to but you know at the end of the day. There's nothing that they can do because they say what what. You're you say. This guy was here and now he's gone unless we can have asked after evidence that ties to this branch. It's nothing but then he had this plan long ago. I mean he was ready to walk away from any of these things completely clean he was that careful well and he was careful enough even to not just get rid of the album but replaced the photos and not just replace the photos but replaced the photos with good photos that were believable that photographer would have in the detective says because he's he's easing press so it's not like there wouldn't ferris by somebody they are photos that would be cherished by somebody so he went a long way to build a narrative around it that make sense well he he clearly prides himself you know and being Batman you know already serving net plan always thinking that I had. I don't know if you really does that but he he does a lot of something and you know it's it's interesting expressly because literally it is the fact that the only the reason he gets to keep on going is because Jessica is choosing not to be the bead of intellect is choosing not to be the person that she could be right and and when he says you know somebody else's or the supers are cheating all he means. They're not allowing me to cheat well. Exactly I mean well. I mean this is the thing about this has got. He has kind of transparent at the end of the day. You know here's kind of transparent that there is so much. It's not even an you know what the job is not even that that he feels he would be. You know it's not it's not just lex. Luthor can argue that yet world without Superman lex Alexa or would be superman. Essentially this guy just thinks anyone who's gotten ahead of them pass to have cheated. I I you know when he talks about his brother and it's like well. You know he just you know he had he wasn't smart. He didn't have any of these things you know and and dismisses dismisses anyone who might have achievement who is right you know he's he's he's a bad person. Right is actually a very bad person. as we start at the end of the blast episode he does he does capture. Eric and he takes him to a commercial kitchen because as he says you know normally would do this private homes sitting but you don't have that kind of place you know his he's he's homeless well. He lives in a rented room. You know and you know. He is any trying to figure out you know so. How did you know and he gets all excited when he realizes my simple power of righteousness is hurting you. It's like no you're. You're an evil evil piece of nothing in that you are so painful to be around and and I do like that because it does emphasize as a part of this story the limitation you know basically the old you know. Superpowers Towers are curse. You know you think that these are great and wonderful folk but you know what not for nothing you know kilbride they would've had no interest in Jessica if she were not a superhero. you know that that this puts you in situations. Sion's that make life so much worse right and the fact of the matter is is that Jessica is a good enough detective that Ah left her own devices she probably would have caught far more people if she was not trying to protect other people right Bryant's because that's that's the thing even after they do and the whole track and and that's one of the things I gotta say this is. I love the Gumshoe work work. You know I'd love how much work and effort they put in and also showcasing it. You know one of the things a lot of people say a lot of people talk about is that when they re bettman books they get upset because he never doesn't need detective work right right. You know it just goes there and he beats up people you know he's he's prepared and he's got all these gadgets these things you know. He's never just tracking something down that you know to see to see what we can find you know where to see how how do prove surfing that may never tries to prove any and you know Jessica. She ride they've sort of relegated yeah they've sort of relegated that part of his personality holiday into going into creating the coolest gadgets to hurt people with as opposed to creating techniques to discover hidden things yeah exactly and I and I don't mean to be done on that. Man is a Greek buck right right for decades. You can't really fault it but I do love and for for that estimate. I love any good detective stories. This is a good detective story. Were they. Don't realize okay. This guy cleaned all the body parts we can't we we yeah we identified all all the body parts all seven all seven people they belong to whether eight people that I know he he addictive and yeah and the guy says once you give me your less less and he's like he's like Jones does that whole big. Welcome then casually drops the list of names for right now because I mean the other office was there and he can't be seen as colluding with Vigilante Celente but at the same time he knows what the side of good is well yeah and never nothing. It's everyone everyone saw that. That's what it is say everyone. What's that and what we saw it. I don't know if that that that they're saying hey. You got to take a look. She was ahead of him so I. I don't know if she caught it anyway. It's anything spiced but I did love that scene. I love the way that it played out. This is his own. Cya You know so just to make sure that he is he is covered but at the same time I mean like I really I really liked that aspect today and then they realize okay. This is the one one person that we can't identify this is who is this person and then of course she has to you know then you know we get into mouth mature it man. I I love Malcolm story in this whole thing because it is just trying to decide. What do I want to be and you know what's great. Is that the short answer. There is not necessarily. He wants to be a good person. It's just that he doesn't want to be helping evil. You know it's like he's. He's you you know. He is not a sweet summer child. He knows the world is a mess and he is not above dealing with the darkness of reality and even his own darkness when he goes beats up the you know gets revenge for beating him and then of course what I love best about that scene you know so you know where because of course does does that happens after she comes to comes to Malcolm and such you have facial recognition software depended undisguised is actually still alive which makes for a great story to which we'll get to and then he goes and he beats the heck out of the camp and then leaves very behind basically says there's a serial killer after you come back to my place. If you want you know come with me if you WANNA lip and and like you you left her there and she said look if I if I try to force her to come back. She is not coming back. You know she you know she will just leave again if she comes uh-huh here because she makes that choice she'll stay yeah just like that seen in stranger things with hopper letting Alexi walk and then having him getting the car and drive off in recognize. He has more to go only that he can't come back. I haven't finished watching street for things so spoilers. Mas Atari Yeah. I know I know how it ends. I just don't want to know why he doesn't really mean much. It's a tiny little thing but but for those mirrors what we just saw here yeah and I and that's and that's a good aspect of they do and again again to show how just who selling your really is that he ties the gap and this the sex okay gotTa funnest interesting yeah and then all of these you know. I think this guy might be a little serious. I might be a little odd out of it and he does the only thing you can think what you see kissing salinger injure freak out because that's that's a human trait. I don't think he's comfortable being human anymore. He's straight so far from that line signed that he doesn't recognize it as familiar anymore. I think I think it goes. I mean you you of course heard of the gay panic defense and this is gay panic by in the flight version of it because right of the game is is so that basically probably he is very much a person uncomfortable with his own self and sexuality. You know he is uncomfortable. He's he's just an uncomfortable and when someone who is comfortable with themselves actually one upset he doesn't know how to it's interesting to me in that because the whole time in my head. I just saw it being like that's what it was meant to be from the beginning and he was going to pretend to be that and then Kellyanne but to salinger that might not have even occurred to him he might have just been you know lowering him with the thought of placating placating his ego saying I want to take photos of you and he might not have even seen the romantic angle of it and he's like wait a second what this is not what I had planned. This is not what I intended. It and I am no longer in control of the narrative any longer and I very uncomfortable this well yeah. I mean very much that is a real part of it. I mean when one thing to and tell us how the guy was the whole reason. He's doing it to this guy because he's he says he overcooked the state. You know look. I hate an overcooked sake. As much as I really despise I will send that I will send that back if that is not a buddy rare steak I will you know cause I need. I eat my sakes draw. I that's who I am and I you know I do not like I think I'm medium a medium rare medium. Well steak or medium rare steak you can. I think that's too much as a but but at the same time it's still a good steak. I'm sure it was delicious. I I think I think the offense was laid laid in the fact that it was a Michelin Star Chef giving him an overcooked stake if it was just somebody or just another restaurant giving him an overcooked sake. It probably wouldn't have been as great an offense but you know at least that's the I think from yeah from his perspective and again I I don't WanNa see I wanna see someone actually check up on any of those degrees. Even those are real. I still say that. Those are all fake degrees. He freedom out wunderlist computer just to look like a big big big important guy. Maybe maybe that contest back in the day that he actually one was picked at random. I would wager that. That's was actually true. In fact I would wager that you know that you know that I don't know anything about the contest. It was a state fair. We don't know if this was some magazine contest. Where maybe everyone's a winner. You know they all right your poem and we'll oh published in this anthology only the best poems. We'll get up. Mike meanwhile there's five thousand homes in the village Hey. You're a published author now so you can take that so you don't like giving take but at the same time yeah. It is the fact that maybe he's never achieved any. Maybe he was really good at some things but maybe not the best. He's he's. He's the you know. It's the the small time he's the small time champion and he can't accept the fact that being a big fish in a small pond is actually achieve nice place to be and when he realizes they're bigger fishes. He can't handle it. You know you know it's like you know it's it's like the Anti L. Buddy L. Bundy he you know he he did. What is it five touchdowns in a single game at the same time you you know he's happy about that because that was his real achievement and he doesn't look at something. I think we could see later is the fact that even in those little chievements he was not the best that was and there were other guys. You know he's better than you know. He's better than some random. He picks up the street right because because he gets the element of surprise which I think ninety nine percent is always the element of surprise. If you have the element of surprise you know it's much easier to get the drop on somebody nobody but of course telling in that is that he wasn't intending to Stab Jessica at the start of this whole story line that was a shock to him and he ran because because he realized she stabbed the wrong person and didn't even know who Jessica was and then when it all starts to unravel. It's like you know he tries price to spin Oh this. I'm even better than I ever match. It's like every defeat for him is just proof of how much better he was than you thought he was before that moment uh-huh yeah it is it is it is a thank for him strong illusions but that's his character is yes. We get that Jessica finally comes clean to her mom Jessica. I'm sorry Well Jessica finally come clean to Patsies Tom. Yes exactly and does the I love just pushed out the window which I certainly hope she knew that was gonna work. Yeah Yeah but it does show that yes. She does actually do have superpowers. You now have the fall from great distances like a cat and has is you know obviously stronger tendons and muscles and bones to handle the force of that get a feed under her lamb. You know how to land right superpower. You don't want in Europe the third floor that's that's interesting because is it almost is the complementary power that Jessica is missing because she has super strength but her body is still a human body and still has to deal with the trauma of applying those magnificent forces onto a body. It's not built to handle them now. Maybe if she had patsies power she would be complete superhero. You know she would be impervious to allow out of a the fallout from the four. She applies on her body on other things. One of them is still bulletproof and actually right. I think I think they I think actually just does have stronger bones and and tendons and things because we've seen her like smash things and Ben Thing and something like her conflicts off when she does that. You know we're in hard knuckles bleeding what she was trying to break out of the container yeah they they were but she was also punching against solid seals chanting it which also means that her bones are are pretty so basically it's. It seems like you know I mean I. I don't know because it. It seems like your skin's pretty strong too. It's just you know it's not right. That's true. It's not bulletproof. overnights prove otherwise be fair. Very few things are especially nice. That's let's forget about that. Actually knives can actually get a hard enough. It'll just shatter the plate and go through. I wonder if an Arrow probably would too do if it's from a compound boy actually yes it probably could close in the French because the reason why vote actually worked is because the force force behind the bullet actually causes the flatten rather than Pierce and it's really just the whole differences whether or not the book flattens fierceness but if you have a knife because it is has a much longer length and is also designed to be you know essentially stronger and it has a much smaller surface area to which the entirety of that forces applied exactly and it's got the little wedge aspect of it is a lot of things that works works out great for knives but you know Pulitzer also good too but and then of course you can have you know bullets that are you be ceramic bullet that has made of the same ceramic as he shield that that is going to you know give you give you pause as well. You know ceramics crazy strong but of course like you know but that's a diamond diamond but another down that was the moral okay yeah there's there's a nice seen this with a jerry going the funeral enroll for the guy who killed himself and confronting the son who is who. I actually have so much sympathy for 'cause he's a teenager and it's clear that he knows what a piece of trash his father was now. Oh my father was a hero and you toward him down. It's like no my father was a manipulative liar his whole life and you know but but he was so my dad now I don't have one and and I also know that you know you you exposing him filled him in a way that makes me mad at you to you know right because it's like he has confront the facade now which had always existed so even though he gets to see the truth but he was much happier with the facade but you know. I think it's the thing that if if the guy had just gotten caught by you know the university exchequer or the or you know they arrested arrested audit and found all the stuff than it would have been a much easier to handle thing as much as his father would still still be a ranting raving jerk probably still kill himself and blamed the government. I think I think the fact that it wasn't so that both the government could sleep with his mom. Kid might have had a better better dealing with it and and you see like the horror in the face when he accidentally gently knocks tearing down and realizes this woman you know fell and hurt herself. He blames himself and it just you know it's a hard day man. It's the hard data via teenager. When your father commit suicide lamps lames your mom's lover sort of course you know the whole thing with in which of course is the other aspect of this story which is that he's blaming you know blaming Jaren for inciting superhumans against us norm for normal people and using their superhuman detectives to find out Oliver Dirty secrets which of course wasn't sure at all just just you know if detector came in and really quickly realized all of your stuff because no one just had looked at you and anyone who had looked at you probably would have found something very eighty? Seven you know because the guy just was not being careful you know and you know that's that's what happens oh you know but then. Jaren has to deal with all of the all of the of this and then trying to fight and keep other clients nights and we find out that ironically ran doesn't want to be associated with super superhero vigilant. You know the remnants of rand that are are have assumed power in Danny's absence don't want to if there were just one more way to show what a subsidy jerk. Danny ran this yeah. Here's the one silver lining to the ending of the netflix Marvel universe. I don't know about that the much rather if if he actually wasn't just a complete waste of right obviously okay maybe not a several lying but at least a somewhat of a constantly cry did did the sister was yeah. I don't think well okay. We'll square led. Let's forget well. That's that's an Ulta but she's also she also wasn't in charge of rain detail. You've got kids. They've s Oh oh I thought you meant Berry. No no you met right right right right at the ranch the other sister the completely blanked out and who the other the two siblings thinks who were yeah. Why can't I yeah I don't. I can't even remember the brothers name. Yeah the kid on the way who ran off with Frisco find himself in Thailand. The father's name was Harold Right. Yeah Heroes Breaking Remember Them Asmat heroin. Anyway wasn't rand. I know that but rand industries and the board emphasized that jared hogarth joy joy was the the girl and I thought it was another Jane named for the boy to anyway but choice choice invest so basically the Jerry contacts at rand are gone so that and that's that's dangerous order also for the tour goes to that point where that she wasn't being very invested in keeping this because otherwise she might have kept tabs on iron fest now aw although then again also wondering imagine that maybe you know at some point in the future when iron-fist doesn't need a lawyer. He's going to call Jerry again. Because what what do you mean. You're not my lawyer so you know there's always instrument but she's dying of. Lou GEHRIG's disease so How much time does she really have and it is. I it's painful when a former partner comes back now out in proud yeah it is what it is yeah but yeah the loose. Iran and that's the thirds of their business say making keep all these other clients but but of course that's what Lee well. That's what we're GONNA see her way to to win back the public but that's something for next episode in the meantime. Mas Anything else she. Lets talk about this episode. I I think my favorite piece of this whole episode is after they finally saved Eric and Jessica comes in to see him and he says the goofiest little line to her and he says you're like Aspirin Bernini and she says Oh that's the worst I never but then she lays down and has like the only genuine satisfied like she takes a moment at a brief vacation from all the madness of the world and allows herself to smile and it's the most beautiful moment because it's the sweetest thing anyone could have said to her and she played it off in her. Are you know hard exterior way but then you know she sort of like it to herself. Accept his adoration to which absolutely adorable I know that there actually is a a a aspect that goes a little deeper which is that you're a really good person and you pretend you're not but you are actually in the same way that people make good but are actually or rightful here actually a really good person and that that has the opposite effect on me like when I'm around someone who's really good. It actually relieves the pain and as much as she beat yourself up about it. She genuinely is good in that. It's what a comforting thought. That must be what a weight lifted off shoulders for everything that she feels guilty about but you know maybe that's what makes a good person is that you do feel guilty about. The inadvertent things that you end ended up. Doing you know we'll exactly I mean that is the basis of being good is that you actually care uniform and yeah. It's it's it's awesome. It's wonderful in that region eight hundred and forty three where we love this show so Mars if he would like to talk to you about how much you love this show and things that you you like and you know other people and moral dilemmas that they may have. How can they find or if they want to send some questions are way for or one of the writers of the show Jamie Gingell Boon to appear on this podcast shortly they can email me at mas manzoor edge email dot com or find me on facebook under Mas Manzoor. Mo Doubles E. M. A. N. Z. Double O. R. and of course if you'd like directed me that old fashioned email where the Muslim Paswan says you can do so at superconductivity blog at dot com. That's Super GonNa plug. Oh One word word. Gmail.com of course follow me on twitter is they live tweet ageism shield cloak and dagger other shows that I like to read about when I feel I like the place if that ever comes back Orville Hulu so I can't really live but we'll see what we do at Charlie answer. That's career. Rela e CR look for the two E in the Middle Ghani. They go all right ladies and gentlemen. That's one more Wonderful Episode of the Aka Jones CASS mass.. Were just so happy to be your friends good night.

Jessica salinger Jones CASS Eric Hey Brands Termi Jesse Harris Danny Melissa Rosenberg Batman senator Harold Right Southgate Media Group Bryan Michael Bender Michael Gaydos esser Jamie keen Jamie King professor Malcolm
The Dark Hearts of Man: Just Punishments S2E10

Capes and Lunatics

34:37 min | 1 year ago

The Dark Hearts of Man: Just Punishments S2E10

"This episode of Capes and lunatics is brought to you by tweaked audio awesome headphones good at tweaked audio dot com and use the coupon code southgate get thirty percent off free shipping and a lifetime warranty where he can get there through the link on our website Southgate Media Group dotcom good whatever time you're having different welcome to season two episode ten of just punishments where we are reviewing season two episode ten that dark hearts of men. I am your host. Termi dip Professor Esser with me as always is my very skinny very rich very amazing. It's mas tonight's episode dark. Hearts have men as Medani in KRISTA debate. WHO's worth saving adding Frank Prepares Storm Rousseau's territory a brutal encounter pushes pilgrim back into old habits are directed? Tonight is Alex Garcia Lopez Gerry Conway John Ramirez senior and and of course Ross enter marvel credits are episode. Steve Lightfoot gets created by <hes> Steve Lightfoot and Angela lamonica written by credits week Amman. She's once again are <hes> <hes> our executive story editor and the person she pushed around is just a regular story editor hardest working manage show business. This week can kristen. This was a neat episode. This I read like this episode it. It plays with time but <hes> we opened up of course with frank and billy running the gauntlet basically the initiation into their you know elite Special Forces group where they run the gauntlet at that run past each of the other a senior members who each you know punch them and kick them and the like and two things struck me about this. I is was of course billy goes I and he goes through it and they're they're. They're punching him hard. They're doing some face shots you know just to take that smile off his face and then when frank runs it looks a lot more brutal for Frank White. Did you feel that absolutely and I was wondering why that was yeah because they knew tougher or maybe not the kind of personality he is. He probably got underneath everybody's skinned during training or whatever and e probably mouthed off to a lot of people and they were waiting. I I think it's an interesting little touch that they throw gives you a bit of his relationship to the rest of those men aside and especially points Russo out special because they got along so well because obviously the rest of the men had some tension with him and at the end and he's the only one that offers in his hand to get up nobody else yeah what I thought was most telling <hes> and you know I think I think maybe you know Frank. Castle is probably real killing nerd invert clan in killing clancy was actually in best way to kill someone close range is this this this this and and then he was so good at it and that kind of over shined all of the older recruit so I think that might event something but what I thought was most is telling us even though frank in him you know they're going into this so bonded but this second Franken's to the end of the Gauntlet Russo who of course went through I and so is now officially initiated it takes that sucker punch on him goes to goes to comfort them and then immediately sucker punch to kind of basically look like the older twins. I am three seconds older than you man and you know what's interesting. I thought a little differently early because to me if you sort of if you think about it these they're doing it out of love you know the it is violent. It is whatever and I guess in a way it's sort of like elastic area grievances or get it out before you bond on in this brotherhood so it's done in a matter of of love and in that moment he wants to share that with him also. That's how I saw it like you know. It's like I'm your brother in this too and I get to have this boat may we are you know just it was a celebratory thing I <unk>. I that's how I took. I can follow that logic <hes> although I guess there's maybe this other level of it which is like yeah. It's out of love but it's also an out of a love that is kind of sick and twisted luck. It's the kind of love where there there's always meant to be a power they now. This is just to prove that you're not you know you're not gonNA. I mean it's there's other ways you can look at it but I can't. I can't think that when you're pummeled especially after the tumbling pulling Franken's 'cause they're even kicking him when he's on the ground there and he's getting back up and all that kind of stuff you know <hes>. I don't think that's as much out of love as it is an attempt to sort of reminds someone of their place and Dan you know to to to remind you. There's a hierarchy here and this is where you are in the hierarchy and I think even along those lines that goes into that idea that these guys maybe no frank castles going to be overshadowing him so this is like this is gonNA neither one chance to say hey. There's a pecking order here before <hes> before Frank Castle says yeah I'm and I'm the head rooster you know so <hes>. That's a that's. That's neat weather that goes I think now we get. I think we go do go from that right to fill room. Yes because we get beautiful beautiful seen this valet a violent and not just <unk> violence but you know sometimes there's violence that that's made for the viewer to enjoy it stylized and whatnot and then there's violence where it's meant for the perpetrator to enjoy and we just get to be voyeurs and that's what was it was so visceral and and raw and not stylized just real. I thought it was absolutely beautiful and it really sorta gives you the sort of emotional punch that you need fantasy him declined back into his old ways snorting cocaine off of his blood stained hand. You know that could have been thirty blood on that hand yeah and you know not for nothing. It is it is about you know. There's no it's the are synonymous thing and you know I'm not GonNa Lime in after I stopped drinking for land and I get those great ideas about how maybe just won't go back to drinking and I I drink man on right back to where it was because it is it is something that is calling to something that takes a lot of a lot of that directed effort to not be that person and you know he had for so long Ben this enforcer her for the Schultz's and he could do that only because he was keeping everything so compartmentalized when they basically tell him to let loose and he's like. I don't think that's a good idea human services. I don't think it's GonNa be for me to go to New York. New York's which is again a classic thing for any addict you know that when they're trying to be cleaned it got to avoid the people in the places that trigger them right and Dan you know but they say you have to do this for the good you have to do this for us. You know and I think you know I think there is this quality here. which is you know <hes> on this quality here where he is going into a spiral and we see him? You know we see not only him. Beating these people needed that and just cutting back and forth from him Clinton himself and like when he pulls the guys Teeth Avenue this you know what I thought was cool about that up to this point we had only seen him STOIC and completely tra- love his emotions. This was the first moment were we got to see him be afraid vulnerable broken down like laid bare and not having the facade of of this image and it humanized especially in that moment where he's pulling teeth at these. Crying as he's doing it it just all of a sudden I liked the way that they cut back from that back to the scene the fight and then back to him so immediately humanizes him and then all of a sudden when he's in that fight you sort of care for him and you want him to be okay. I thought it was really nicely and of course it makes sense it. He is crying because he is key is watching himself himself from this moment and I think you know when he gets the phone call coming in and he kissed ignores it you know and I don't know if we get the resolution that phone call this episode of next episodes that it is posited second time towards the end of this episode I think again. I think we don't get yeah. I think it's next episode we find out what that call was about it just other we do get just to give just to give this story. It's encapsulation now. He goes next door gets one of the hookers from next door Y- Y whom I'm assuming he's pain. I'm assuming he's still got a role bills right. I don't think it was hard from to pay. You just wanted to take this guy hooker because he was due to find his own. Here's what I thought was interesting about that seat you hear him saying in the other room slowdown. I got you the hour so this guy has enough money to hire five girls for an hour but just for an hour or sleep disorder like it seems like I don't know saying is slow down. I paid for the full hour but he had five girls. They're like five girls for it. Just it just kind of some friends coming. Oh that's okay because the guy but then the out I don't know it just seemed saying is what is their quote was. Just watch it again today. <hes> was slowdown. I'm paying for the full <music> our basically meaning don't make me don't make me finish too quickly with what we're doing here because I actually I wanNA do more. My friend gets here. I guess I guess concerned so but what I love about that is he has money right okay. We're sponsors. Okay the completion to that whole narrative thread. I think definitely should leave it in their yes but hey boys go. Get yourself something nice by yourself something pretty yeah Tom what no just just go get your snap but then okay everybody stick together okay. You don't WanNa get a snack. You WanNA call okay okay. He was just the one that has to okay gotcha. He was the one that was a sign that role yes. He just wants to chill out his phone and then go catch boogieman later okay. That's yeah okay. I gave the other too much money but that's fine. I Made of money. That's what I would say anyway here pilgrim as we get back to this story <hes> you know yeah so other should he was conferring like a party and he you know when Totem Poles the gun. We don't see what happens next but I'm going to shoot. I'm going to basically make this assumption because you only comes back with one girl. They basically really said they're basically he takes girl. <hes> obviously these girls that pay upfront you know guy said he paid for the floor so I'm assuming he paid her for the flour 'cause. She seemed like she was pretty. She was doing doing your best as a service that it wasn't a tour situation person by right right right she was is when he when he said go wasn't like all bad. I get to leave now. It was like oh you what you know. I'm still okay so that's why you get paid upfront. You know like the guy said he was trying to make it last hour. It's like <hes> but and of course you'd get that moment where in the woman looks up at him with tears in her eyes and it's his wife's face you know and I think we also get in this that flashback where he just before he's telling his wife who not really it's you know yeah and she says go finish it and then come back to me as John John exactly a child's Janis whose name Okay Gotcha for Robert Watson Yeah Robert was his name and they also do implicitly again say that yeah he was working with white supremacists just hated people for being different than him and Yada Yada Yada so I mean Ozzy the pilgrim arc doc injustice episode is really worth the price of admission <hes> right watch like <hes> last episode. It was all about Rousseau here. They're painting another villainous character in a better light this yeah although I think Russo by the end of this comes out as evil is ever right. I feel like the maybe that's why they didn't let him buster so long on the news that he killed his best friends family. Maybe partially his own family in a way because they didn't want him to be redeemable in any sense and they did the pilgrim here and there's an aspect of this in what program says to the Hooker where he says you know <hes> funhouse mirror reflecting back <hes> just reflecting yourself back at you you know and that's a good thing well no not really because we basically saying how empty it is at this Brotherhood whether it was the Aryan Brotherhood that he was of or I think they're awesome to his current brethren this church church that in both cases it is this idea that you know when people are asking you to fight die for them. You know out of your loyalty to the Brotherhood it is often is it is often a <hes> a false false narrative you know right. It's mostly self-serving endeavor. Yes exactly and I do feel I think we're going to get more of this next episode because I know he speaks with some of the elders later and I think that there might be even the episode after this one or after the next one <hes> where he does he starts giving this pushback of you know like Achilles in the tech. Why should why should I kill other soldiers rogers just for the wars of kings you know these men are no different than me but we get interesting parallel in that again with Russo at the end when he is giving his speech to his men said before the knowing that the punisher is going to engage them knowing what's going to happen and honestly when you think about knowing the punisher any mix the point? There's only four of these guys here that the punisher is GonNa kill all four of his men you know he knows that he he is literally sacrificing these men and then spoilers for the very end the women and that he keeps behind he is sacrificing them just to mess with the punisher right just to which shows how little he actually ever cared about Brotherhood right yeah yeah he goes. They're all GonNa die right but which brings us to how unbelievably bad at her job Dina Madani's but she's in the F._B._i.. I your whole job is reading people and sussing at danger and plots and and you know getting to People's true intentions and here's a person who obviously has an affinity for who so called you out of the blue and wants to be friends and because she she mentioned the word whine a you're all of a sudden perfectly fine and and perfectly by divulging information strategically important information <hes> legally actionable information to this person because she supposedly wants to be your friend. It's unbelievable well. I think there's two aspects to this. I think the first aspect is just the idea that you know this person that she is confiding in is <music> is is honestly a <hes> a <hes>. What do you call it? A <hes> is a is a professional meaning the only a she professional at getting you to talk doc in a way that really you think if you're an F._B._i.. Person yes part of your job is getting people's but then there's all these other compartments. This person's only job is to get you to talk right likewise to always conceal her own motivation innovations in our own strategies from talking to you know so when she's talking to this F._B._i.. Agent you know honestly I. She probably should have been more suspicious just anything she probably was more suspicious but I think think that on a couple of levels it is this idea that she really wanted to talk to someone 'cause she never had has anyone that she can talk about this stuff because like you say a lot of this stuff is actionable. You know we're talking about stuff. That really is not something that is is is something that you can really discuss with. People were does that and says I want him. Oh my God it's up on that dumb but she does want him dead and I know but you can't say that to the public you know that's she's saying this in what is presumably a counselor <hes> uh constantly protected environment right now and even that her decision to accept the situation as such seem suspect in that she thinks this is a safe situation knowing the person's history knowing the person's person's feelings towards Russo insane yeah although again there's this quality again where you have to ask is the information that she eventually gives to Russo as value as as secret. It might be employed. You know you know it's like yeah. It's it's it's a it's it. It does hurt them strategically. Let going forward. She no longer has a leg to stand on strategically speaking if they want to devise is a plan whereby they try to trick Russo into thinking Hey Madonna is gonNa take you win. You'RE GONNA go to jail. Franks not gonNA kill now. He's not going to believe it like she's laid bare her intentions completely to he enemy. It's you know but the Hekmatyar is. He and I think they do touch base on this because I off. They have the death penalty in New York. There's also a national death penalty so there's no way this guy if he gets captured is of winning a needle unless you totally pleads out and what she actually says is what she really wants is for him. You know what if I did bring him in and what if you know do this and she's like you know I want him to live with that dollars that I beat him and that he didn't affect me and really at its core that she wants to kill him. She she feels is is Russa winning because at the end of the day what I feel Rousseau is looking to do who is to say none of your better than me. I'm not that bad you all are bad and I'm just as no that no one is there is no moral hang on on for anyone to seize so justified in all of my actions for cell alright self right. You're all lying yourself. I'm the only realist exactly and I do think that that is what he is. His trying to to the misery loves company and for what it's worth I mean honestly what you can definitely say about both Medani and Kristen I think is that neither one is that good jobs. I mean for stuff so Christa <hes> I mean they're good at their jobs in the sense that they are clearly good at what they've done. They've risen to impressive ranks in their industry but at the same time that Christa can't see through billy is is is so desperate to save someone so guess it hit his this this is it bothered me the whole time she was came off in the beginning as his carrying individual that was sort of drawn to this case <hes> trying to save this person as a challenge professionally right and then all of a sudden you see her become. I'm this diabolical evil type person conniving and Blah Blah Blah and then they sort of even start painting at maybe there's darkness inside Herb Trauma Yada Yada Yada they made the travel character emot- <hes> make the character travel emotionally quite a distance right and then it's like all of a sudden she's hung up on on <hes> on Rousseau and so it makes me think like initially was she really just a good hearted person that got turned evil somehow which for some reason I don't we'll see any sort of steps that they walked to get her there or did she initially do it because she was just attracted to billy because he was crazy. Well I mean I think it's you know it's it's often thought of in this way that <hes> you know a jigsaw is kind of meant to be the joker the punishment joker and I guess they wanted to do their own harlequins story here so you know I mean obviously they're not. I'm not the they're not one for one matches but it does this actually does smack a lot of the Harley Quinn story where it's like 'cause there's this idea that she's approaching this person as a as a professional and that she is trying to aid this person and she says you know her dream which I think literally is her dream that if I can just get one of you guys out of your health basically you know Billy's in Hell Urine Hell Franklin. How all of you guys are are in this place of constant torment? If I can just get one of you to come out of it than I that will get me out of mine and I think in a way what she's doing when she is coming you know doing this. Turn for billy. It is billy's the one I'm working with and maybe if billy can get his revenge so I guess so the question becomes. Do you think she honestly is mistaken. About who billy is or do you think she sees billy for who he is but recognizes a piece of herself in 'em so she's willing to give up everything to join something. That's like her. I think this is my point and and I think the idea is is so she is very critical of the heavy tried killing them yet <hes> school of of <hes> of solving your emotional problems that bass fishing lucky she knows what his real safe because hurts suggestion is to kill these <hes> hookers suggestion worst suggestion. Is You have to take away. We don't know what her suggestion is. You just says you know I know how to get Frank Castle and the idea is you. I have to make frank realize he's not he's not moral. He's not that basically what I think. The argument is <hes> because I think we get it in this episode. No no that's. Selects Mexicans okay so there's another reveal in the next episode where you find out that billy never wanted to kill frank. He just wanted frank to kill people who he who were soldiers who who who weren't <hes> who weren't really people that would normally have killed and into those so it's like it's it's a silly and personally I think that billy kill those women on his own and left them there because there's no way with all the guns going up well. Maybe there were hiding them but they would've tried they would have left a while you know and all the bills that so I think he he didn't do it and for him to jump to that conclusion that quick but again he's not in the right state of mind. He's almost dead so I can just wait. Wait what how did this question there and really does little Hannibal Electric Taunt and again. Frank can't shoot him. You know <hes> it's just <hes> but I think you get their payroll this with curtis when he goes back to amy he is talking to her. That is in this episode right where critics goes back to talks about watching a guy. You know dumped now. That was a little bit of the next episode. I don't know if I watched all of yeah so anyway well if this'll be a little bit of a sport but so yeah courtesy story in this is he's doing the sniper post <hes> again that his not his field but he's he's doing it. You know you need a sniper up there <hes> and he and I just wounds a couple of the guys which actually I mean the math numbness doesn't seem right. I think he had more than had more. I think it was just talking to his fourth corps guys but maybe they picked up a couple other guys right exactly what you're saying. The guys who started heartedness there was only for a fourth but since you're quite a few more okay so that's that's fine then <hes> but he does shoot two guys in the legs and then the third guy comes up and he actually has to shoot him in the chest and then he does all his his his vapid <unk> Med stuff although honestly there's not much you can do that. He just shot him with a high caliber rifle and it's not like there's that coming and I doubt he had a full med kit with him. You know he's basically just told his his arms well. The Guy Bleeds out and hit making you know it's like I never realized how different it would be. You know I've patched up so many guys that's seen so many guys died but watching watching guy died because of a bull I put him you know and then he's done. He's like you know what does frank giving to us in. Oh it's it is just the city of you know. Everyone's taken out of course amy is still dedicated to frank frank because the one aspect of the show since and man someone's gotTa kill you know otherwise five million reasons for other people to be honest August to be honest. It's it's like He. She really really needs to needs frank to get through this because you know she is. She is kind of you know flotsam on the ocean here. She does not have any ability to save herself in this moment especially from a guy like she has gone completely off the rails at this moment I I don't know I wonder if pilgrim has completely gone off the road. I think he's the type that you know is going to compartmentalize. Wake up tomorrow morning and the Okay and you'd be right back to the ground. I think that's the kind of guy he is. I'm again Magassa just speaking for my own brushes with addiction abroad brushes as they are <hes> he's. I think that I think this is. I think the falling off is so severe when I love this wagon. I think there's so much more going on for him that it's not going to be something just goes. Okay Yeah Okay by you know. I think that there's way more than that and I think that it's something that he's going to have to deal with for another couple of episode of course have three laps so shortly but <hes> you know I do think that they are going to resolve it. Oh any other thought center night's episode mass now just that I thought this is one of the best episodes of the season so this is a great episode really really great fight scenes and I love the whole when frank is going into town and they start to throws in that rock music just trying to disown daredevil episode. Oh no but it's like so for example stuff like that when people like realized daredevil secret that's like that's a great way. That's how you try to disoriented. Missions giving these flashes of sound he wouldn't do of course but but the idea but inforce very valuable idea because when you do the flash <hes> you know it makes it so your eyes can't readjust to the darkness right so that you're basically fighting blind and and yes so it I mean it's a brilliant way to do it and of course honest the fight in with the white supremacists was just so intense son and and I love that you know now this frank stuff too but I kind of feel with pilgrim. It's a little more or less superhero when pilgrim gets the cuts by really hurts a lot more. They let it show on Frank Frank you know he he it takes a shadow of whiskey in Soza his button and he's he's fine the next day you know right broke his hand but yeah I can still shoot you know by the end of the weekend and his his <hes> bulletproof vest there must be made out bye bye brady yeah well. You know what never nothing. This is like you always go. Take that kind of stuff into account in these kind of universes which is that actually tech has advanced the way it has that probably yeah the bulletproof vests are bulletproof. You know yeah go ahead well. That's a hard to hit. You know they're not easy. I can't imagine that they are well liberty district. I can imagine that they're harder than a Chechen but really shooting for hey guys hurt. That's a that's even smaller than face but I think most of the time people generally shooting it like the biggest target they can aim at a moving target especially. That's also shooting back at you. Try to have the best percentage of hitting the guy you know maybe catch that's a leg on arm and the <unk> but yeah I understand the premise. I just think honestly if you even his his arm so you know time so yeah you would actually that's the reason why you painting the scope on the on the armor is because it makes that standout as target. It's the same that's why Captain America has a Bullseye Shield. Oh that's interesting interesting that bulls. I can't help but you know campus said that a few mechanic I've never understood people. Just keep on shooting at my she but it's like because it's a target it's circles shit until I was raised. Okay so in the meantime Mas how can people find shifts to touch patience you talk about all the ones that are the punisher oh they can email me up mas men's or Ed gmail.com or find me on facebook under Mas Manzullo. That's M. O._W._i.. And A. N. Z. HE DOUBLE O._R.. And of course you know is right to me that old fashioned him away where Moslem Paswan stood at super connectivity blog at Jima town that superconductivity above Oh one word had gene that time of course follow me on the twitter tweet as if she'll and well not coming because that's also the season but they show we'll be back. I'm going to try it again next week at Charlie us. That's Utah rely. Let's.

Frank Frank Franks billy Gauntlet Russo Frank Castle Storm Rousseau Franken New York Medani Frank White Dan kristen Alex Garcia Lopez Gerry Conway e Steve Lightfoot amy Southgate Media Group Termi KRISTA
115 - Womanizer

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1:29:36 hr | 11 months ago

115 - Womanizer

"Awaken Fauria. CBD arousal oil is a luxurious new way to enhance sensations of arousal and melt into deeper more accessible orgasms promoting natural lubrication and release of physical tension awaken creates the relaxation and enjoyment necessary for central experience release and restorative rest for fifteen percent off awakened or any other products offered by Fauria go to four wellness dot com and enter Promo code turn me on the thing is is like we can always talk. Uh Hello ooh baby. I love You hear my voice here of my voice sounds a little little Richard Burr. Y Z fix the microphone notes I think it's because I was losing my voice. A few days ago. slowly slowly started to come back and now. I'm sucking back OATMEAL LATTA and it's Kinda code lubricating your throat lubricating. It feels good. I feel like I got my my fucking radio voice back just in time because we got a bunch of fucking show's coming up. Live shows rose. They're happening if you don't know sick boy podcast. I'm just going to throw this out there for anyone who might not listen to sick boy yet then you've been waiting for it we're. We're going on on a little tour and we're going to be in. Vancouver doing a live show on next week. It's going to be a September twenty third. Get Your Shit together at the Rio Theater and you know who is just at the Rio theater babe like a weaker so wait. Wait wait wait. Let Me Guess Brennan Brown Brown no is it a comedian is a movie star as it an athlete plume sure she's done some film home. Okay Willow Smith our Rad. She's on her tour right now and I've been reading keeping keeping tabs on which is up to where she's at and actually I think her and her brother on tour right now together no. I don't think together I think separately but she she's been out a couple of his shows and and man that fucking kid is he's killing it. She's killing it too but he is like I'm watching these like fucking videos of him front of stadiums of people people and he's like do you have you listened to. I mean this stuff now. He's an incredible rapper right like an actual bad ass rapper and he's like going out onto the stage with this fucking sick grill and like you know you just like got. This unbelievable flow in the middle of wrapping just takes a pair clippers and starts buzzing. His fucking head dude is sounds like a I think he's always been a bit of our performance artist. He yeah he certainly is tapping into that that side of things but anyway willow love that Willis was at the Rio Theater and I'm very excited to you say that sick boy we're going to be on the same stage as as the beautiful willow Smith so that has nothing to do with our show but now you're killing it yeah feeling really good about it. We're GONNA do show there. The next night were flying Calgary. Were doing a show at sait which is a college that we love doing shows that it'll be third time there and then we're going to banff for a little a little private thing in oncology retreat and then and then we fly we're going to Toronto to do a live show for sick boy on the the Friday the twenty seventh and then the next day you fly into town and the day after that on the twenty ninth. TERMI ON PODCASTS show Toronto Ranta TIFF light box which is fucking jail. It's Kinda cool and it's for Jeff L. forty-two amazing so so if you want tickets to any of that Shit live report podcast dot com slash shows and fraternity on Hermione podcasts dot com slash show and then a week after that on Monday Day October seventh were an Ottawa Al Konkan Holy Fuck. That's a week later. That's one week later my God. That's great. That's a great schedule. I'm still to and Let's just hope that I don't get sick. Don't get sick and also is it related to Termi on if you are posting which cities you're gonNA be in for potential casual hookups is that what's was that the link there is some sort of have really mean. I was just wondering if we could we could make your sick boy tour announcement part of the Termi on show in that ladies Jerry Saunders is GonNa be in town. His Way Way way is that way is that are you saying I said that at the top of the show to announce that I'm going to be in these different cities in case. We talked about this return on the microphones. No we did not and don't even say this funny joke. Oh it's not no no. You can't say that he can't believe once. We got an email from somebody specifically. Let's get into this listen okay. I think we have so many other things. Okay let me I gotta write down my thoughts array donor thought but I got an email from someone that was like do you do you take the issue with I'm really gonNA butcher it but it was something to the effect of and I didn't answer because I was like what the fuck are you talking about. I get like that with pretty much any email that comes in. That's your basic first responses but the email is something to the degree of like. Do you think that you need to be careful about announcing your whereabouts. No no no no wasn't like that. It was more like Do you think that there's like something to like hooking up with someone on with the fact that there are clearly fans out there and and like something to do with like the power dynamics and like a you know abusing using that whatever I wanna say that power because it just sounds so fucking absurd because I still yeah I read that email and I went what like I mean it'd be one thing if I was like a celebrity and and was like choosing to sleep with people that were in I guess like my field of work yeah and like the I think the way the email was written it like it kind of like I felt like I was being like accused of something. That's right. I'm I could never matt like I. I would never have like ever imagined doing okay yeah because if I do go to a city and we you and I both know this and thinks over our listeners now this I do casually sleep with people when I'm out of town all whip tinder or bumble or whatever and yeah sometimes things happen. Sometimes things things don't but like I don't ever use the podcast to like as a hookup to score now. You know what that reminded me. I don't remember that email but I do. It does remind me of the whole conversation and yoga teacher training when they're like hey don't date. Don't fuck your students. He had exactly yeah yeah and I've I've always felt pretty strongly about that. in fact you know what if anything if I do use like you know any sort of like followership or like like fandom to my advantage. It's it linking up with people in cities. I've never been to to like explore the fucking city yeah yeah you do a lot of that. It's my favorite thing went to London. Meta lovely young woman who took me out to show me like all these really cool fucking bars and it's really cool neighborhood. We never had insects and we never. I never intended to have sex YEP same thing with like when I was in I got stuck in Detroit right then like for a layover and didn't think I was going to the I didn't WanNa be there. Somebody listens to our show is like hey. I'm a fucking tour Windsor Sweet. Come down and show you like everything you'd want in Detroit all right well if there's anyone who wants to drive us from Laurentian to Ottawa no just kidding but to be honest with you when when I do meet someone on tinder and bumble and stuff like that when I meet people and they and they say no I've I've never over and like it's clear that they've never heard six boyer. They've never heard turn me on. I'm always like sweet right sweet yeah. That's a plus us. Yeah I get it. I still like have never ever had one single person. Make any sort of advance or hit on me in any way but you don't come off as a slut like I do man. I feel like I give off that some of some of us try so hard to give up to just be like yeah. I'm slutty and not any just can't get get past that shiny veneer of good old country girl you try to give off the sled devised. Sometimes I do do you I don't. I don't think I've ever seen it well. I think that's not working. No nobody can read it. Oh it's because as you're not in a position where you you want your can be slutty no well. I I yeah matter if I I actually want to have sex with someone I should still. I still want to have their. CD slutty sometime listens by CAST APP right right him clean on this and that just just feeder full of the full the the the compliment. I did know not comments. Now that's not looking for. I did have someone reach out and ask me no no. I'm not looking for news flattery tension. I no it's cool. I got lots of attention but I did have someone. John asked me where I get my haircut because I happen to be sitting right at odd fellows in Halifax. Waiting jet cut my hair. Which is where you get your. This is where I get my. Here's where I also get my haircut. I love June. I know she's fucking great. I I have like I you I have. I'm totally in love with her. I have this like I think we've a a lot of us have had this like sort of like fantasy of like making a big. You know like especially like enacting like well. Maybe I'll just like maybe it'll become really famous one day and be like really big and and toward the world and like have to hire my own barber to follow me around and I always thought like I'm just going to bring about a I I would have hairstylist one hundred percent but what that's my version of solar cells to film festival the the Atlantic International Film Festival is taking place in fact right now and I sat down with a couple of producers the other night and talked about their film called the rest of us which is a Canadian film home starring Heather Graham and she they were saying that when she came up to tiff for Toronto International Film Festival for the The further release the world premiere of the rest of us this film which is really good and we should definitely talk about it is that she can't she comes with a whole entourage rush of people and it's like woo need us. They're saying that that makes me. You gotta you gotta you gotta be killing it though to to be yeah that point in your life. We're still time. Oh Yeah I duNno sick boy. It turns runner yeah. No I'm not running out. It's fine so the rest of us was really cool film. It was obviously I don't know how to say this. It wasn't doesn't care don't mean it was obviously created by women but it's obviously created by someone who knows and understands female relationships so the here's the the story is about this woman daughter her teenage daughter who's just come back for for the summer from her first year university. They're driving in the car there. You can kind of see that they have like a bit of a of a like a gritty relationship that you know she's typical. Teenage daughter and Heather Graham is the the mom and sutter crossover grown up and she's incredible in this movie. The acting of this movie is so good good and and they get the phone this phone call. This is all in the first five minutes not a spoiler alert they get a call that the the father father has died the father of the of this family but he's actually the ex-father like he's he's. He had a mistress he left that family and started a different family so he he has died and the whole film is about you know these two women relationship but then also also the two women from the from the new family the mistress who became the wife and their daughter who who basically there are left completely completely down and out and they move in with Heather Graham and Graham's daughter and so you've got this like really complicated relationship type scenario all these four women have with each other but the way that it resolves it would all like I feel like any anyone who doesn't understand few more relationships would watch that and be like well that would never happen but for anybody who's been inside a complicated female relationship you go well. That's pretty much happened that way. Do you know if it was a WHO wrote it. If it was a land something it was everybody who worked on it was a first feature wow and it's really really except for the producers the director and the writer all of them. I features yeah so highly recommend checking that out because I think that's on subject with with our podcast and I don't think it will be available anytime soon like like in any sort of streaming capacity because it will do the festival run but we should. We should start a segment where we just every episode. We recommend one thing okay. Should I wait. I'll wait for next asked to recommend my my other thing that I was going to you. Okay okay as long as you can. Remember that I said I wrote it down. You wrote it down because you didn't do anything when I said that. Now you're typing so. Do you think you meant. I am going to write it down. I wrote down the name of a different movie that I wanted to tell you about. Okay okay. Oh I I see I see and so the typing mind Jeremy we you know we have some segments but like we're we're not like a segment heavy show but I love segments. I like segments can segments the great we should we should have more segments and I think that's what we should do from here on out. It's the RECCO segment Rocco's. We need a sexy name for it well. Maybe you know what let's leave that to our sexy audience to reach out because that's a big job folks. It is but people love to nail ships so so two things in past episodes we we mentioned There was a a quote that we were like who said it. Oh Yeah said leave a relationship hip if you leave a person fucking butcher but leave a person better than you found them that quote like when you leave relationship that person better than you found them with the campsite rule yeah yeah it was Dan savage. We knew someone smarter than US okay. Dan is obviously much much smarter than us. so that was one thing that we had a bunch two people cannot and let us know that that that was the thing and then another thing that people reached out a lot about was our episode with with Andrea Andrea from single girl problems we were talking about the womanizer so it's this it's this clip stem sex toy called the womanizer and I and we received a surprising amount of instagram direct messages from people who reached out and said I have that fucking toy and it is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire. We need follow up with Andrea and see if she's used it. I can't imagine she has now but she she she really didn't sell it. She seemed fine and like she would be down to try things like you. Can you just see her and her fellow like she does. Yes yeah a little bit yeah Gio but she also seemed like I don't need this fucking thing you know she I was like why don't you just give it to us. Yes yes we had a number. A couple wrote in was like first time ever squirted was from this this toy the womanizer fi can't you can over that horrible name so funny like y'all do. The woman came up with that name. I don't know you know what I'm I'm just. GonNa go right out on a ledge here and say that I like it. You liked the name womanizer like it for clearly taken by renowned it from that I mean and Brittany Spears of great song called womanizer and does she yeah I was like Oh your Minez Babe. I don't actually tracing it but like really seriously I actually that's the only word I know the title the Song Yeah but I can't. I can't play it now. Play cover of it I think we can. I think think technically we can play honestly. It's like who gives a shit. I mean it's not like enough people listening this fucking thing for us to get in trouble but what if we eh rule. I guess here okay. I've got two different videos here. Just stop fucking. All played hidden added in post all right here we go. Oh My god Jesus Quiz that does she get into dub. Step up to stop right. That's how you can play well. I think technically early a lot all right here. Let me just fast forward visit. Is it fast words to the chorus I wait. I think I know this any need but Dan. Dan Entertainer hit enter the town. It's it's under that right financial gain and I think it's something like that. Yes I was talking on that date. They don't and I was right about how the chorus goes lady. She made a comeback. I'm happy just in general. I'm happy you better come back. I like her What else well case. I'm saving that RECCO for next time well well. I have a question for you. Yeah yeah hit me with. It hit me baby one more time with that question peyot lookout. I'm here folks while you you. What do you do when you're starting to fool around. I don't know if you've ever been in this situation. I know you have when you you get in your head repeatedly about sex with someone so that you're like okay here we go again rampant up for another try and it gets awkward again for like the third or fourth time in a row awkward as unlike the sexes. Brighty makes a joke that doesn't land and just ruins the moment. I don't know man you know. I'm I'm going through but a weird place right now sexually and I. I don't know I don't know what you do. You like I'm asking because I W- I just wonder like if there's a way to quickly. Flip the switch to be like okay those joke but like let's let's wait. Wipe the slate clean. Let's rewind and try to go for it again I can I can you lay foreign command. No can you know but if I could. That's what I would do. I go no not funny. uh-huh oh God we're so vulnerable when we have sex and and like you open your mouth and you say something you say the wrong thing. It can really fuck shit up like I tried to take Andro bans advice and just say whatever the Fuck Oh. This is coming from you. Try to dirty talk. No it's not coming from Jerry Talk. No it's not but it relates to that and and her advice was like just open. Open your mouth and say anything. The doesn't always work the VAGUS. This is just killing me but I'm not sure I mean you know it's like. I think it is a lot easier said than done but I feel like there. There have been those moments. You know like and we've had it before. We're GONNA like fucking fight and and then like one of us will start laughing yeah and sometimes it is contagious in catches on the other person's starts laughing and then sometimes sometimes it's like what the fuck are you lock right. Now is not a laughing matter. It is so leading but you you've been the one who laughs how impossible it is to turn back when that's happening your like come on laugh with me. This is this is our out yeah. We're here like we can get us. Yes you know I've been that person who stubborn who's going Mussa. I'm not fucking smiling and holding it back and I'm holding it back and then and then you know they'll be like a little bit of like physical like like jabbing like come on or you know what I'm saying if you could with or for or toot you have on-command that I don't I honestly and and you know who earn horse would would take issue with this but I still stand by it Mo.. If you're listening my old drama teacher who you're GONNA be doing a workshop soon and the turn I have always had a disagreement about low hanging fruit and I she's like you know do pooh-pooh humour her is she doesn't know she doesn't it's easy. Look I get it. It is cheap. It is easy but guess what you are fucking crazy. If you don't think parts are funny and I'm going to guarantee right now you know that you know the video talking about where the dog starts. Barton Long Fart and the owners like Com Mon Charlie and then he looks up and the cats in the corner and the catches vomit while you're laughing because there's a fart and there's part and Puke in that animals all of that's the lowest hanging fruit so in a moment of vulnerability where you're heated up and your anger in and and then all of a sudden. There's a lull back right now. You're fucked if you don't laugh at that so what I'm saying is that as as as silly and as easy as it is I think I that's I mean that's what I would. I would say they work on work on Nova. I think we've is much funnier than apart. I don't know how to do them on command my friend abby she does. She lives in Vancouver Ryan. I'll ask her how she does it okay. She usually spend it only happens when she's doing handstands. Oh yeah well then. It's not on command. I can can do them. Do it Doggie style that happened but but I've love what you just said and I feel like there's a good takeaway there which is says if you're the one in that situation who's not laughing. Take a minute and and recognize that you now you're. You're now in charge here now. In charge and you hold all the power of all you can both of you out of that crazy the moment that's it. That's it because you because if you're able to pull yourself back your anybody else who isn't in that conversation they stumble into it. You know it it to everyone else including yourself later that moment that is happening currently is really not worth it. You know I was a I I when I do drugs. I like to fuck can talk to anybody and I mean. I like to talk to people anyway but I like to really talk to people people especially if you will. I don't know any moment I get and I was at Hoshi Aga- and I was having a really lovely time and I also like not when I'm hanging out with a bunch of people and we're all gonna partaking in having some mega-blasts of Serotonin from whatever substance were enjoying wing. I'd like to get away from them. And kind of got a little solo adventure. I'll be back whenever back and I went on this little solo adventure and I remember coming around a corner and there was girl and this guy and they were both heated and she was angry at him and he was kind of like he could see he. I was just like taking it in like fucked up. He did something that he shouldn't have done and she was she was angry and she was like pointer finger and Wagner finger in his face in like you know tell autumn thing and and he was like not like about to cry but you see he was like disappointed himself and but a little bit like angry at her and it took every every ounce of my being not to just walk up and and put a hand both of their backs and go hey guys it's the hour and like runaway because in my mind I was I was seeing it. I was going it. This isn't worth it. Whatever this is? It's it's like you're you're literally in like this gigantic beautiful park full of young fun bobbly goofy people and there's like the best concerts of your life happening all around you and all these different stages are worth it yeah. I can say that say that ship chipper another day yeah but I didn't do that. Why do why do we fight fight. so much with our romantic partners compared to everybody else is it because we spent much time together probably get on each other's nerves in and we we disappointed each other because we have our expectations of each other are too high probably fucking. Brian Mattie like they on this. I don't think they fight very much. Well I mean London's presents different challenges a different challenges yet yeah but like they aren't spending every goddamn waking second together. I mean there's been a lot of fucking time together. I'm surprised how much time they spend together period based on the fact that they have so much space between them but I don't think they fight often and like you know. I've heard I've heard Brian Brown. I'm not trying to throw in the bus here buddy but like I've heard Bri like you know frustrated with something that came up and he's like trying to handle something on the phone well. I guess that's nothing compared to like. You know a fight that like back and I had one night up in bed for hours on end. Just like you know yelling match or something it. It is the worst feeling to be in the middle of an argument and not know the not know when it's going to end. It feels like it's GonNa be forever adver yet. It's the worst feeling in my well you I. I'm going to share something that I is is a little bit vulnerable and maybe I'll regret this but since you share that I'm in not got a a bit of a different situation in terms of the things are getting awkward in term in like in the scenarios of like winsome insist sexy time's about to happen but I you know work's got really busy. I've been away a lot. I you know I was like having some select physical pains like stomach stuff all these issues uh-huh and and things that were coming up excuses to not have sex and obviously it's like it's like noticeable between between Beckon I and but now it's gotten to a point where like when we do have because we haven't had it for so long. I'm like I I and this is a this is kind of like a common occurrence. That's always happened to him. I don't have sex regularly then. I cuts so fast. I'm just like I just like I'll be I'll be having sex for like three minutes Obama. Go Up okay. They're done and I get really self conscious about it so much so that I will like find excuses not to have sex which makes away so that I don't have to fucking go through does your exact feeling which I which I know I know I'm aware and I know how to like not make sex about climates like and not like let that be the beyond all of the experience but it. There's something so mentally like. I'm like super hard myself in general until like when when that happens I it's like extra. Get extra down on myself because Mike do what the fuck sell early know what to do because now I mean that now I'm in that like WCHS slump. We're got caught up in it but I pushed. I pushed myself away from it yeah because of well. I wonder if there's there's a so you've got obviously like I know I know you have these feelings and assuming Becca nosy heavy stones but for anybody the else who's has a similar situation. I feel like I'm going to relate it to this this till landmark education K okay here. We go anyone anyone who didn't know. We've done landmark up to this point and just heard that they're like. They're either one or two people. They're going yeah be too or are. They going fucking cult. Probably most of them are going but slam but anyway so. This is one of my takeaways. I I have a hard time with being vulnerable. I cry almost every time I feel vulnerable right. I cry when I'm angry. I cry pretty regularly. If I'm blue you and I would say I have like a good cry like you know pretty pretty regularly but we really really frustrates me when I'm angry or when I feel really passionate about something and I get up to speak about it. I love public speaking but sometimes I like just tears. Here's it's just emotion. You can't like control the the outflow of it's just it's pure emotion and I and I when I got into a relationship relationship with todd. I said listen. Here's the thing about me. Please don't ever ever criticise. This is me or assume that I'm using it in a manipulative way because I haven't figured out how to control it and I've had to undo a a lot of the work I've had to undo a lot of the conditioning that I brought from my childhood where anytime I was in trouble I would cry and my step mom would be like use your words like why are you crying and just made it worse and I would just cry and cry so I dealt with that a little bit landmark and and and his his thing was like well I like. I really want to stop crying really want to just be able to communicate and he's like well. What if it's not a bad thing that you're crying like what if you could remove all that other garbage that you put on top of it. Which is like Oh no? I'm doing this thing again and I'm not supposed to to do this and this thing and Blah Blah Blah so I'm wondering maybe one approach in that in your situation would be to be like I'm GonNa come and then you're not a thing in your head. It's not like house. Don't do it again. You know yeah if you could just set the ground and be like what was that old inside joke vote yelling down from the shower our anytime you jagged forget that was oh. God those early days the podcast yeah but maybe there's just just like setting it up being like listen. Here's the plan. I GONNA come faster than it ever. Let's set a record. Maybe something like that but I get. I also get like that weird slump. It's like when you have them into yoga and a while and you know it's GonNa make you feel so much better to fucking go and it's just like on just snowballs and I'm in the middle of like the snowball effect director now so that's a bit of a theme for what we've been talking about with the argument to is like when things are snowballing how going step outside of that and just go whoop. It's not just quitting. Oh Yeah. Maybe quick quick increasing. That's not quitting. I've it's Cuiv but I I like with. What is a quick kill you? I F let me see Cuevas Krief but like a quick. If I was so revolted altered the minute I found out what a queer was really in high school. I was like oh the girls who were talking about. Were so disgusted. His quiff allowed in scrabble aw that's the class QUIFF Q. I F F A prominent forelock especially one brushed upward from the forehead ahead a prominent when he locked twenty points quips six twenty one point prominent forelock especially when brush upward from the forehead forelock it. That's what what God squeaky. That's her nephew. That's what our nephew has his like astroboy hair right it yeah right like quiff yeah yeah cloth the Adena. Have you ever heard this word squeaky. What do you think the definition of squashes it is. It's the sound of scrubbing something soft squishy using the sentencing now squeaky. Oh man you reasons looks like Jerry's add a little bit too much fun tonight. He is pretty squeaky drunk. Yeah Yeah really yeah very drunk. Okay twenty five points and scrabble seven letter word scruffy. S Q as q u I F F Y for all of you you playing scrabble right at the minute we a lot of Yahtzee. Have you yeah yeah. It's terrible game. you know it's not a terrible game is is this the source game which we will recommend next week on our records segment which we are we should we live show. That would be really know what the Fuck Nello. Oh that would be fun. Why everyone in the audience would be playing. It'd be really fun for me and you yeah. I think they'd be like where's the fucking sex talk. What yeah I guess the what were goes with all these synonyms with the people come to the show just to watch us. Oh Oh my God fucks knoop the music's kicker here. We're GONNA throw it to the episode. We hope you enjoy this week's episode so we're GONNA throw it to one of those classic early conversations just a regular old. Keelan and her sexcapades so enjoy. I really had fun. Hope you enjoy it and we'll see on the other side mm-hmm. It's been so long I now I no longer have any idea about but that's that's always my favorite not having any clue and then just diving right into the deep end so the last time you had sex there we go unlimited month ago all right yeah scale one to ten ten being like oh so it was a nine point five. That's right yeah. was there any of that three some awkwardness. No I've you guys have talked about reasons being awkward before. I've never actually experienced an awkward three threesome. They've all been they've all been des- great yeah. That was GONNA be. My next question is is a threesome for you. Regularly nine out of ten or or is it. Sometimes I mean you get the best of both worlds so yeah right a Unicorn. Yes okay. I am yeah our right. It's call coming back to yeah. Tell US tells about your days as looking a new ish right yeah so I was in a ten year relationship very vanilla. That's a long time one time. It was my full twenties. we broke up and then I kind of I was with whis somebody refers time hooking up with somebody and he did something to me that I've never experienced which is he test my pain tolerance and through that I was I was like well. This is like way too fucking bar but consented great but a beast awoke inside of me to to fire what way like why he he he was playing with my nipples and he pulled and hug so hard that the next day I lost a whole layer of skin. Oh shut shut off in the shape of a nipple away wasn't like one piece it was like pieces ear and they're your nipple like de gloved like I have a whole new skin on it. You get a sunburn yeah yeah. It wasn't saying a hold on hold on hold on let let's rewind this back for a minute first first of all. Why don't you introduce yourself hi. Lo My name is Jeanette Jeannette so let's take it back to this this partner who decided detest your pain threshold. How did that come up in conversation like what was the first day I was a hookup. WHOA OH okay yeah. I met him through fetlock. There's not really much to say about him because he's just a one off kind of thing and it was the first kind of getting out there I didn't know that this pain tolerance thing was going to happen. It just happened I would he kept testing my limits and I would say okay enough and he would just be like okay. Sit it breath through the pain and then he'd go a little harder to okay enough. He set free through the bank in through the pain right so this is like a whole scene that it was just like playing out and you're like okay. Let's roll with it. See what happened with it. Yeah fuck rolled with it right to the point where your nipples fell off literally and insane and so so it that experience woke something within you totally but a woken the beast Brian Okay with this shit. I kinda like pain so you you did enjoy it like as much as it was painful and it went beyond really like what you were anticipating there. You came out on the other end. Yeah and in hindsight was like wow well. I really fucking Doug Dot. Did I mean it was too far right but consent. I consented great. Now I know I don't like I know my limits. You have your nipples. I don't want that aired. Wait did you at the realize after the Novo bill foul like it was like while he was feeling so my nipple became link spotty black and this is really it was like bruises. This is really embarrassing so I had a doctor's appointment two days later and so I was like I have to look at my nipples spots of black and my doctor would did you not really weren't putting two and two together icon it did but I was like maybe it's something what else this is not normal. You say he was like oh he he put his hand on my shoulder and was like was this this consented and I was like Oh wow so he knew right up and I was like yes I was yes. I kind of laughed about it but he was totally serious. It was consented uh-huh. Oh my Gosh I wanNA say Yeah Okay Doc so the the beast was awoken. You're already on fat life. So you're already you already. Have this interest in the kinks seen so I joined at life because I want got to find a woman. I've never been with a woman so one of my friends said. Why don't you join the fetlock. There's lots of women looking for other women so I decided to join fat life and my God everything else on there is like it is a world. I'm discovering. What does that mean because I have. I have never been on fat life and I know I'm sure other people haven't I know I al- years it's totaled debauchery free for all Dick Pic flying around all inter except except you judge guys on their decks instead of its personality I would say it's more like it's more like facebook in that. It's a platform where are you can like comment on people's pictures and you can write on people's pages and you can add friends and request friends and then you have options options of like you know making certain photos public versus making certain photos like locked to only your friends being able to see them. It's it's like large and like extensive discussion boards on different you know like if you're into dd L. G. then you go to that page and there's like a ton of Shit on there. There's an people like will advertise like things that they're looking for or things that they're not looking for or things that they're interested in or what have you and so basically it's it's just like a facebook for kink sex sex and fetishes like that's that's kind of okay. Yeah got it but it's extensive it is everything under the umbrella ella of of Kink the dark web I mean I'm sure some people would think so. It's just glare but not technically through their through fat life. people use this. APP called kick and kick is a Messenger Messenger thing what's APP kind of I kind of got into a couple kink groups through there why is kick big on that. I think because you can put the pictures on and through time. They just delete think. I don't know it's a really buggy. APP and I kind of hate it but at the same time I'm totally addicted because I feel like I've formed friendships. I've met so many great people on there and I've learned a lot about kinks that itches through these people people so you you came to this after your tenure relationship yeah and and like did you dive in right away into it. It seems like you can get lost of kind of because I was like when that beast awoken in me I was like I wanNA keep exploring. What what do what do I like. What are my kinks. I don't have any water my kinks well. Let's try Anal never done anal never had any thing near my ass tried certain things I mean like but blogs plugs dugs. I have a whole area story. Let's hear it is GonNa make me. I'm already squeamish. No you're in okay so I bought this little bud plug. It's like three inches long about standpoint seven five inches wide I put it in one evening and I was okay. Cool started hurting after about forty minutes. You're just hanging hanging Yup. I live with my friend and she had no idea and I'm just like sitting there like WCHS wedding. Don't have something amass right now. No no no. Where was the sweat. Can't it was this. I wasn't actually sweating should horn sweat. Go see my doctor. Can you look at my astle astle. I'm sweating here. Is this concerned so I got really cocky and I was laying on my bed one evening. I thought okay I'm going to train myself solve keep using this but plug stretch out the but plus the but so I can take it take tango right so Zwinger my stomach. I put the deep plug in and have you as both had about plugging. You know what it feels. I haven't had about play him but I've had men plenty of things up there okay so you put it in an economy just sets for a second and takes a second so I'm sitting there about twenty twenty five minutes later I'm like why is it still setting so I reached down and the plugs gone. No he added is just digesting. I know Oh exactly the sensation. You're talking no instantly. I was like you know what don't panic already panicking. I know you are but I'm not it will not go to the bathroom like Kay. Just do your thing push it out. Push note some sitting there trying so no. I didn't think so I'm sitting there pushing and it's not coming. I've never had my fingers up there but oh boy yeah I had two. Maybe the three you dig it out kind of Oh. My God man honestly like this is this is this I some so I have a hard time time using BUP legs on somebody else because of this s like unless the base of that thing is the size of my fucking hand. I'm like I don't know Um. I don't want to put that in there and I definitely want to put that in there and start like push up on because if I see that thing go boop into the boy eight it I literally will scream and like run. I don't know I would think yeah so I just. I'm still laughing at the physical sensation of the federal contracting is like literally just like what's this and it just like slowly pulls. Take some more me being cocky like Oh. It's just setting it's fine. Oh notes et Cetera so what happened was. I had my foot up on the side of the TUB. I have my fingers all God man and and I'm pushing and pushing and then the panic starts setting in I have two options one wake my friend up and get her to go in or two. Yeah I mean that is a very deep relationship. If that's if that like okay and then to I coulda went to the emergency which I mean gene. I work all the worst things in your but that you could have other than a butt plug. Totally I mean we've talked to a doctor on sick boy and he was talking about people losing fucking couch legs in their ass so I mean you don't WanNa fuck with that. If you're like I call my mom honestly like I think I'd be like mom all right. Listen listen. Something's in my but lost but my mom has the answers. She's a nurse. Yeah Yeah Yeah I can just imagine maxine having said down the phone. So what did you do my oh. I tried to put the panic out of me. I had my foot on the side of the TUB fingers in there pushing pushing finally I could feel that the tip hip of it and it came out. I thought it pushed took it out. Never in my life was that one I have others but the base is larger like you said longer so no problem with those but what did so. Does this toy still exist in your collection somewhere frame it as a member it would it around on the necklace totally. There's the people used to wear like the nineties. Eighties remember like they're. They're like little souders on a plastic or whatever with a Diva Cup okay where it got stuck. Nobody likes to eat things feel like I had to get used to putting my holy end and my vagina when I used the cup because sometimes yeah it goes quite well. You got to put at least all tips of your fingers in there to get it in. It's really uncomfortable in there or putting it in putting your hand in yeah. They get it out right. Yeah especially in public bathrooms where it's just think well now. I have a handful of blood yeah. I don't use it anymore because because love yeah. I don't use mine anymore either a night. I miss it because I do think it's probably best for the environment but I was really after I had BV for Year. I was like I he can't trust. I just anything I don't put anything in there anymore that for my period yeah just just sit on a diaper sitting on pads letting it flow totally free flow onto Iraq sitting on rolled up towel wait. What was that did you do that. What was the where's the story of that the blood on on the rock there last summer. I did that a lot of my period. Along can just be one with nature exactly feels like the right thing to do. what else did you kind of like decide to test out or explorer or dive into so. I met somebody mm-hmm early on when I was single and he was like on claiming you I was like no. I'm single the first time in ten years. You're not claiming me I am my own person. I'm independent kink thing or was he just like literally lovie Meyer Yeah. He was like no claim you. You're my girlfriend. I was like here ridiculous us but whatever he wanted to call him daddy so I was. I didn't know what a daddy was uh-huh really what their role was but I've learned quite a bit of what a daddy is and their role he likes he he was fully like dd l. g. he would call me his little girl right at Kami his princess and if you know me yeah I'm not. I'm not a princess right sure I've discovered. I'm very switch. I have domin me so I don't know what he's working princess so did you just couldn't really get into it like the thing but he explored kinks with me which I really liked that so we would get together and weeped leapt on wax play we've done while spanking flogging stuff that. I've never done in my life that I was like yeah. Let's do this. I've graduated -aduated from that little plug to a pager right to now a vibrator so what's Petr It's basically yeah like a starter for the ASS okay. It's Kinda starts off like two inches. Round goes smaller. women mostly only wear it for whatever their pegging men. Oh wait a minute. Oh I see they put it in about yeah. Yeah okay got it so I bought one. I don't have a belt but I bought one on because I was like well. This is a good start into the ASS. People love it so I'm like something has to be good about this like did you like have you gotten to the point where you're like. I love ask play with it yeah okay. I have if I don't do it for a while. It doesn't it hurts a lot but I got to the point where almost made me squirt. Well just straightly absolutely wow interesting. What is happening crazy yeah. That's fun. Germany on we'll be right back after this this word from our sponsors are you like. Are you like are you down for like ask play early on a first date. Yes Sir Yeah Yeah. I'm pretty open yeah right. I KINDA WANNA. Try Everything I mean obviously have my limits but I'm very offers. I like yeah. Whatever yeah sure yeah. I was find a really interesting like there's some people that are like on a first date. I don't fuck I or like UNFOR- state. I would would never go down on someone WANNA. I whatever and I'm like why why not looking for a relationship so I think there's sure but yeah but even that even and even even that I feel like silly. It's like oh well. If you're looking for a relationship you don't WanNa you don't WanNa like do anything crazy yeah. You know. It's like why why you WANNA limit yourself if feels right it feels good. It's like yeah sure I've been more people who are in the ASS. Play them who aren't yeah yeah. That's really despising does it. Does this friend this at daddy person do you still play can play sessions with them as of a couple months ago no no no. I just ended it yeah. Just you felt like you had he wasn't treating me the way that a data supposed to treat their in quotations. Shin's daughter so. I was just like what am I doing. You want me to give you me but you're not giving me anything so this. This is just not working. This dynamic is not working. You Ain't no daddy hurt. I didn't say that to him. Well Ma I said do you send it to everyone. On this podcast. I Listen Daddy. What's like are your are you. Do you said you're pretty open like do you. Are you pretty open with sharing this type of stuff with like your friends and stuff. Do you talk about your sex life to your your pals. I talk about it a little too much. Oh Yeah you're one of those people yeah but I gave my audience because it does make people uncomfortable. I can't just be like hey yo. Oh had A had a pug stuck in my ass last weekend. What you do go over pretty well with a lot of people I mean pick and choose your audience. Yes yeah do they. Do you find your friends kind of like you know are. Are you like a lot of the people you said. You had a pretty vanilla relationship before getting the fat life and like getting into exploring your kingside so do you find like your friends ends typically have like a little bit of a vanilla life and they're kind of like hearing these fucking stories coming out of you and going cheeses. I hear a lot of living vicariously the view a lot no I think I've my friends are very supportive of me and all they do is worry because they don't know this side of me because I mean I didn't even know this. Side of me is well. What do you think they're worried about me getting hurt or write me getting in a a situation that I can't get out of which I'M PRETTY SMART. I know that not to get into that. I shouldn't yeah yeah yeah how do you how do you follow those sorts of or get those kinds of intuitions or feelings when you're meeting someone If it's a couple I like to meet them beforehand without any expectations because I need to have some sorta chemistry before hooking up with anybody I will not go to bed with somebody unless I feel some sort of connection because that just makes it awkward for me personally and that's just not who I am. I don't judge anybody. Though would you say that overall we're. We're just we're reviewing a bunch of stats. That recently came out. I buy like a sexual health study and one of the things that really blew my mind was that women who masturbate eight more than once a week are more likely to find masturbation or more likely to report that masturbation is pleasurable for them as opposed to women who masturbate less than but once week which wreck I guess now I'm saying I love that sort of make sense but do you feel like Do you feel like overall. I guess I don't really know are going to that question but do you masturbate. Is that part of your sexual. Oh Yeah regime yeah yeah. I'd crave new feeling so my toy collection is very large. I'm constantly at the buying new toys and I guess one of the stats to on that was that women who who who used toys report even more satisfying in Mass Bachchan than women new absolutely I mean you're exploring different feelings in your exploring yourself and really. You don't know what you you like unless you try it. Do you would use those toys with your partner those well absolutely ah Yup. I encourage people to use them on me like I'm bored with myself. Come on on you like open up the drawer yeah absolutely yeah. Have you ever had any partners like Have you museum toys with other people no not yet I've had people be a little awkward about the toys but it's like maybe you're not right for me to go around with goes awkward of Toys. I don't think you're GONNA be right for me in the bedroom. That's an interesting thing They're like it's come up. A lot in talking with people vote toys like this insecurity that that people have when it comes to toys like as if the toys replace a yeah our yeah like I don't. I don't can't wrap my head around that no like to me. It's like a it's. It's an it's an added enhancement. It's like this like. It's a fucking toy. It's a toy also I'm voyeur as well. I love watching so if somebody was to use something I would love to watch Maybe you have a bit of that as well and you feel the same way as I do. You like to watch that happen early hundred yeah. I love to watch which my partner masturbate. I do too why I don't know why it's so hot I think as you're watching them giving themselves pleasure and it's I mean pleasure is great so it's like Oh. You know you're happy so I don't know there's something in my brain. That's just like I I it looks. It looks really like primal to me. I big like almost Lake. I can't can't interfere with the the impulse to do it like back kind of like compulsive nece that I like. I will watch that I watch. That's actually one of my fantasies. Oh really is to be tied down and to watch a guy masturbate and have him come on me. There's this scene in girl. Do you remember that remember remember the massive hit HBO Not a member but there's versus second season then there's a scene where the guy played by Adam. I think his name is Adam in the show as well he's laying in bed and Lena Dunham is like in the bedroom and they're sort have broken up and it's the morning and he he's like he starts masturbating at her and she's like what are you doing and then and then Louis CK strategy that she starts calling him now. He's like masturbating well. I don't know she wasn't it was caught by surprise. I don't know what little Louis to me but then she's discuss discuss starts like column like a bunch dirty words and and then she she goes over to the dresser and she takes his money off the dresser and the whole time he's just like nor don't do that but still Dole jerking off and she just takes his money and walks out like I I've macerata to that scene interesting. WHOA interesting Adam drivers pretty pretty like master Nassar Pretoria Masturbate or a as I masturbated him? Would you yeah I don't find him weirdly. I don't find him that good looking but I think character very sexy. No it's not it's not that it's sex appeal. Every character character he's ever played is is has that there's something sexy about it. and he's not the isn't that. I don't think he's that good looking but it's like it's a vibe about him even when he even when he's like fuck did you've only plays like Kylo Ren or whatever from Star Wars. It's just there's something I duNNo. Marisa factor is something about him. Yeah you get a new movie with him coming out soon and it looks heartbreaking. It's called a AH a marriage story and with him and Scarlett Johansson. I watched the trailer for a super long trailer and usually those trailers. I'm like fuck. It's just GonNa tell the whole movie but it was the it was really cleverly well done. The trailer was Adam driver talking about his wife and all the things that all the reasons why he loves her and so it's like this very beautiful like sort of all these vignettes of Scarlett Johansson character and as he saying like you know she's she's a great dancer and she's she's like the life of the Party and she's taught me so much yet and you're seeing all these like little shots scarlet and then and then you you know it's kind of like clearly. The marriage starts like seth and like there's a sort of seen or you know it's like at it a bit dark like you can tell that their marriage is on the Fritz and it's Mike okay the the trailer should probably end by this point because it's like already a minute and thirty in but then it goes to her and she starts saying all the things that she loves about him saying and again takes similar sort of like downhill sort of trend into the darkness of the relationship anyway. It's one of those movies where it's like. It's just real you know a marriage that like clearly has its ups and look look downs that anyone who's been married for any period of time knows comes with the territory. It'll be interesting to see anyway. That was a fucking rant about a movie. I love relationship movies like take this waltz. I can't watch them. I know they're very it's so hard for me I can't I can't I just it like it's a an yeah. It hurts so deep that like when I I I I put myself in the character shoes and it's so real that I can't watch this anymore like it. I feel it too much broken. I have never cried to a movie. That's maybe two or three. I cry thinking about movies. Music makes me cry but not movies really weird interesting. I don't think it's a broken thing. I think it's broken. Maybe just watch movies in a different. Maybe like are you really paying attention to the fucking movie you making out with a lot plug and you're just thinking about the sweat coming down your face. What's happening up there focus on the movie well. I Yeah I cried thinking about movies. Sometimes new are very sensitive cancer fucking no Macapa Colon cancers are very sensitive. Are they yeah. I hear I hear cab. Corns are just like they think they're everything. Sauce us. Yeah that's right. I am sensitive Sally. Though what's your sign Sagittarius Oh yes free spirit totally my stepmother and my little sister and my father are all Sagittarius. He's you're surrounded. I'm surrounded. Don't get them. They're very the you know they're. They're a Lou this aloofness sometimes too but I don't quite I don't quite get very it's strong from Queen. Don't stop me now like I'm going to write that down. Check that out. That's really funny. Do you have like a a sexual We've asked us before to tell the people like. Do you have a sexual bucket list yeah. I mean you said you have the fantasy of being tied down in some guide. Jerkin awful is do you have anything else like anything else that you're hoping to experience yeah more more flogging whips chains. I want to be tied down. Rope play at love to do rope play every trip to a couple people on fat life just trying to learn. I mean what how long you in town for 'cause. You're from additon from Belfast here for the weekend. Okay you next time your health. ACSI should look up you should reach out to t- yeah AH on instagram she's great. She's awesome Would you ever do like a like a boot cocky yeah why not half half but that's not what I of that doesn't appeal to me richer but either does male male female threesome that doesn't appeals me as much as a female at the male interesting yeah I think it's because unless the two males are bisexual or whatever and they they're gonNA play with each other so you want everyone in teamwork. That's what's fun about it. It makes the dream work. I get that I totally get that yeah. I explained that to people and I do understand the male male female part. I mean people want to be wanted. You're the center of attention that's cool. It's is not for me yet. I did not do it. I would feel the same way like if I was in a if I was in a threesome with two females and they were not like set to doing gauge with each other I'd be like I don't think I like this yeah yeah. No I won't both best of both worlds I would enjoy. I'm threesome. If I got to dominate both of the animals that'd be fairly funds. You know I'm should look on telling you. I don't know if I have more the words and then I'd have I what I'd actually have is one of them clean. My house naked amount mow the lawn. You know there's just a few things I need to hang around. Yeah I know I know. It was not a dave going into my fantasy. Are you dumb. I you think I I go dome insider. Okay Yeah. I think I'm probably a bit of a switches well yeah. It depends like on my on my mood. I guess like I feel pretty much like I'm an entrepreneur and I'm a freelancer so I feel like very masculine in my in my like energy in the daytime like go go get it. You know very action oriented that oftentimes at the end of one of those days I'm like can I just want want to be taken care of yeah absolutely but it does take me like a bit of a turnaround time to switch from that like action oriented to like relax relaxation time but then there are other times especially if I'm like if I'm really frustrated with my partner then I can get into sex if I'm allowed to take a little bit of that out in the in the moment in the act. I don't think that's the data unusual. I know I've been there. You've been it on the receiving. No no no well. I've been there but I also have been in the same boat of like I'm frustrated right now and if you if you WanNa if you WanNa do this then okay but I'm GonNa work out some demons. I find that that you know whatever you're in so I've had partners also be like like I don't. I don't want to have sex if you're upset and angry with me like I don't WanNa feel that I'd like if you're you're just doing this because you're frustrated with me. I'm not interested in like what you don't understand is that the energy will shift. We'll start. It'll start this way and you want to have sex and and maybe I don't but I'm GONNA I'll buck and do it if I can just be really mad at you for the first few minutes and then it will shift and it will just shift right. Why are you laughing. Nothing I just laughing because D- I know the face they may. She's it just makes me rather than I do. I have a piece that goes. If you WANNA be a winding fucking baby about this then fine lay down and leave uh-huh. I remember that face came at one time. We were having a threesome and you're making the face at the girl we were having to threes and I was like remember Jesus. Whatever yeah oh no it's happening. You're an artist. Maybe you could do a sketch. I've never ever I seen. It looks like it's been a friendly face. Much not a face you want to run into it and a dark literally run in the opposite direction good to see I have that poor girl was was face. I was down there but was up so she couldn't see it as she would've been running out of that room the conscious no embrace that beast okay okay. I feel like I should name her. Give her a yeah. Do you think you know you're. You're enjoying the single life do you. Do you think that now that this the side have you has been unearthed. do you think that like your next partner that ends up being like a significance and long-term relationship would have to like embody a sense of that with you like would have to embrace that and be part of that. It's something that I've thought about because I'm on tinder and I meet really great people but he usually guys WanNa put a ring ring on my finger because I'm sorry but I am a catch. I know I am and so I mean I get it but like now I'm so far from arraign. That's not what I want. do you think are you like. Do you think you'll what are your thoughts on. Monogamy verses non monogamy. Do you tend to be more of a monogamous person. let's explain those terms. I always get them. Make like monogamy. Monogamy is like like one partner and like I'm only true to what non monogamy nominating me would be like multiple every or open relationships think think now. I've never been in a situation where I've been with somebody that that we can explore that but I'm really open to exploring exploring that side right think about being in a relationship. I think that I would be non monogamy do you do you ever experience. Feelings of jealousy not really no It's all about trust and honesty but if you break the trust and honesty which is what the daddy did. It's Kinda over in bed era. That's is it's a super important piece puzzle piece to any relationship. I fought not that. I have a hard time with honesty but I do there. There are conflicting feelings that I have about sharing and with your partner like there are some I've had some partners who really WanNa know all kinds of things details about like even my day or you know who I've been talking to you or what that the very that that it almost makes me feel interrogated and then I feel like I don't WanNa share share or something. I don't WanNa be now that I don't WanNa. Be honest but it's like. Is there anything that's just for me like just for my own. You know yeah me yeah you brought this up once like I was having some issues in relationship and and you worded it in a way that I've never really liked thought about it before until you said how you know privacy is important. Even within your own relationships like to have your own sense of privacy. It is important. I think Astro Parral probably talked about that. Yes she says something like Everyone should cultivate a secret garden. which I think is a really beautiful way of yeah? It's pretty funny what the fuck is up with her man. let's speak six languages. She's a poet of languages yes but I I agree like I do think that that having your own private life even within your unlike intimate relationships is kind of important questions like do you fantasize about other people and who are they. Why are you asking that. Are you asking that just to just to fight fight. You're looking for a fight okay cool. Here's the fucking answer because you know what the answer is. You do it too right. I'm if you're asking that it's because you do it right. Who doesn't right do that. Yeah of course of course I do so is this. Is this what you're asking because you want to fight. I don't think I don't think you should assume it's because they want to invite. No I know but but if you're asking that and I tell you the truth how are you gonNA are. How are you going to react. How are you going to feel. I don't know if being like you're looking for a fight. Here's all people I don't. I would never say that or do that but that's what in my head that's where my head goes. I go wait. WHOA why. Why are we on? Why are we talking about this. Is there like because I do feel oftentimes in relationships. We we do this fucking thing that I can't. I can't wrap my head around. I do it and I've I see people that do it but like we we just for whatever fucking reason we get in the mood where we're like yeah. I WANNA fight. I WanNa like I wanna I wanNA stoke afire higher because the whatever the sensation that like subconsciously the the the endorphins or the the the adrenaline adrenaline the the like internal reaction of whatever whatever you get from going down that path is like I guess rewarding enough to like continue to do it because if you if you really to have the ability to step back and go whoa actually this is not valuable why would I why would I be doing this then. You wouldn't do it but there's like. There's some reason why we just choose you know. I think that has to do with like fighter flight as well. I think things are going so good and you're like. Is this a little too good a better fuck it up like even without even realizing yeah yeah you can. I will admit my ex-boyfriend. I've looked through his phone and I told a friend about it. I read some stuff on there. That was hurtful and my friend was like why are you doing that. You're looking for a fight. Do you have any issues with your relationship. I was like no and they're like well. What are you doing. Yes so true. You never looked at it again yet. Don't do it right. Like what am I doing. What are you into. What are you expecting to come from that right. You know it's just trust honesty. He's never given me a reason to look through his phone. To why did I don't know I think the that's such a hot topic. I like because I I know the urge. I know I still feel the urge sometimes to be like not very often but if you if you intercept that urging you don't act act on it they feel like it we that urge like weakens its grip on but the the the thing that like really got me out of because I did that in other relationships as well as like being like okay sure people will say trust and honesty but whatever not trustworthy and what if you know what if they're not being honest and it's like well then when when that comes to light and it will you'll be able to say that you trusted you gave your all believing you're in an an honest and open and trusting relationship and that's on them but if you go through that shit then that's like well then you have to decide what to do about it and you're also in you know you've also been doing some shit that doesn't that does all within the category of trust and exactly you know so now now now. You're both fucking wrong person. Don't yeah you and your partner Javert fucking. Do you really WanNa know. Just ask and like you said like if it is if there is some like shady shit going on it will come to light. Will it will come to light and then that's when you you know that's when you can but yeah definitely ask person the dignity of like give them the opportunity to step eappen beyond very early in our relationship that that happened and for the rest I didn't I didn't look at it and it was like what I mean. Yeah sure like you said urges but yeah. I never did 'cause why he is no. It's going to poison your self and you know you've into your friends and about things. I'm sure that I've said things about him. That weren't very nice but when taken in context yeah and reading reading words is like esta brawl talks about being trim. It's actually quite traumatic when you have those like things visually like you've seen the details of it and like policing other people's language never works because you you don't understand the context with one with how even relate to vocabulary and like you. You know we all communicate so differently so that's all I have seen with them but visit passionate passionate about about nine not snooping We were coming up to time but what's your like. What's the future look like for you. In terms of you know smiling because I see a Lotta new kinks exploring a lot of fun. I mean why not I feel like you know as much as your friends are living vicariously through you. I hope so of our fans. Our listeners do as well because I also whenever we have these kinds of conversations I get like. Oh Oh yeah yeah yeah. That's I love that you what Hank anything like that in my life spice up so many out there yeah yeah so many like Steph not undefeated okay but I don't I don't judge that's now uh-huh but no personally actually hate pete. Oh Okay so you're not about to suck toes just by your face. Thanks feed as a hard limit. Thanks I mean you can suck my foot. It's going to do probably nothing to me but who knows. I don't know maybe different beast I dude. The the feet are very sensitive. I wouldn't be surprised if someone put a tone. You're telling their mouth ruler story before where you took pictures of your feet yeah. There's a guy requested requested. There was a gentleman who's really into feet and hands and nails specifically like toenails and figure out okay and he used to host the children's show called Art Zucca look at me now and there was a lot of hand shots and so he like D- ame on facebook years ago it was like hey I like your hands. I like your hand. Nail your hand meals and that's exactly what he said. Yeah Fuck Verbatim and so I I just like buried. It was like look only yet. What do I do with this years ago and then I told a friend of mine. Aj and she was like dude. Go make some money man like follow up with that and be like yeah. What do you want like. I'll send you video of my feet. Do like what are you sounds like. Oh Yeah you're right so we had this back and forth and I made him a video but he bailed last-second but I made the video anyway. I didn't send it to him. He just because I was like money. I absolutely but the video was pretty. I mean it's not for me. No haven't da UH. I think I deleted it. I think I deleted I. I'll I'll do a deep dive but I'm I'm pretty sure it's gone but he's pretty funny. We should put it up. It's so gross it is. It's not a similar one because somebody had requested it but I never sent it because I was like. What am I doing this not me. I'm yeah hey. It's it's easy work. You know yeah so I actually a friend of mine. I'm I'm into bring us up on the PODCASTS friend of mine sh she is like kind of a sort of very well followed person John Social Media and someone had requested to purchase for footwear but for like like an astronomical price like a couple thousand dollars for a pair of shoes that she sweats him. Hell Yeah Yeah I know isn't that great. I have lots of extra sweaty shoes if feeder sweating right now so if you're out there and you want these sues call me yeah well. Thanks for coming into town and I'm glad I I know this took a while to kind and workout but I'm glad I did yeah and and keep us posted on your escapades yeah and thank you all so immature tune in and we hope you enjoyed it and we'll be back next week as always but before then so you have seven days go to Apple Apple podcasts hit the subscribe button leave a rating and review five stars you know might as well just make five stars and and while all your at that also since your computer or your phone go to patriots dot com slash Termi on that would be super helpful because we have some trips coming up this fall all coming to see you and if you if you want to come be a guest on the show when we are living in Ottawa or any other city in our in our reach announced auto are we're doing a show October seventh at Algonquin tickets up. I believe they're up L. Right. I didn't realize Zimmer APP. They might be and then also tickets are up for the J. F. L. Forty-two. We're doing just giving Toronto on October or service. Komo twenty ninth and those tickets are definitely up and a stack lineup. I would suggest getting just getting a fucking pass and go and see all the amazing. PODCAST comedians not really important to laugh. It's very important for your overall health lobbying filtering you go get your tickets support patriotic and reach out if you I want to buy at no no tear gas achy held her nine. Oh Two five zero all right well. That's it for this week until all next week

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Misery Loves Fried Chicken | With William Jackson Harper

Modern Love

25:01 min | 1 year ago

Misery Loves Fried Chicken | With William Jackson Harper

"Modern love the podcast supported by, oh, my God dot info. We need to talk about something constipation abdominal pain and bloating if these symptoms come back again. And again, then, it may be time to seek help go to all my gut dot info where you can learn more about your symptoms. Need to unwind a bit kind world is here? Termi- job at all. That's good with the world with stories about transformative acts of kindness. Tune into new episodes, every Tuesday to add some positivity to your life. Subscribe, now on apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Produced by the island at you are Boston. From the New York Times, and WBU are Boston. This is modern law. Stories of love loss and redemption. I'm your host magnetized birdie. How have you gotten through your worst breakup, Tinder new hobbies cheap alcohol, putting your saddest music on infinite repeat will Mark mcdevitt, writes about a friend who helped him get through a break up in his essay misery loves fried chicken to William Jackson Harper is back to read the piece he stars in the good place on NBC. You can also see him in the new movie, mid Somare this July. Nate was my break-up buddy. We were introduced at scruffy Murphy's Irish bar by a mutual friend who thought we'd like each other. And I like Nate instantly. With his tight crew. Cut in animated features he seemed transplanted from another generation. You can easily. Imagine him as a bit player in a fifties war movie young outlines like, hey, Sarge over here. He's in a whole or shot me mom bleeding. We hung out that summer evening in support of favorite local band. But when our mutual friend, left's Florida for Boston in Nate started seeing a woman are fledgling friendship stalled out. I wasn't relationship then too. She and I have been together for more than two years, and even have begun to talk about marriage, which both excited and terrified us. We were approaching thirties. So it seemed like the logical next step. And then it all unraveled rather suddenly. Leaving me angry. And. Bewildered. It was during this aftermath that I bumped into Nate again. I, I didn't quite recognize him. In the years since I've seen him he'd packed on a good twenty pounds in grown a scruffy beard. Gone were the once animated features zippy, one liners, something about his hollowed out stare and shellshocked appearance told me his relationship hadn't worked out either. No surprise, then that the place we ran into each other was the self help section of Barnes and noble. This time are bonding was instantaneous, and absolute the kind share between shipwreck survivors on a bobbing yellow liferaft, while no model of mental health myself. I leased had a couple of months. Head start on eight for him only weeks after his break up the world was still a minefield of painful, associative is sudden with of jasmine or in innocent radio jingle would produce in him. Bouts of demented, laughter or uncontrollable crying. Over the next couple of months. Our friendship flourished favorite recipes for Chile were exchanged along with Patsy Kline records. We swapped are many self help books, which we refer to titles, like, Minna from Mars women for the birds and cohabitating. No more. I gave Nate the entire collector's edition of the three stooges he gave me a cactus. He's prickly little Basser tough Hombres. He explained just like you we may be in the desert right now. But I'm here to tell you that will get through this. Over time our anger and despair gave way to confusion. Just what happened anyway, where do we go? Wrong. Like a crack team of. F A A. Investigators we scoured the crash sites of our respective disasters. Looking for clues details and timelines were relentlessly hashed over. But the cause of Nate's, mid air explosion remained as mysterious to us as the forces that had caused my own relationship to belly flop into the Everglades like a jumbo jet with the wing sheared off. Are futile. Search for answers only deepened our depression. But the great thing about depression, is that it's not one-size-fits-all but comes tailor-made to suit our particular personalities. For me. It's about insomnia skewed priorities and loss of interest. Food work correspondence. Even the three stooges all lose their luster. The big picture fades as minor details. Assume, gargantuan proportions CDs will suddenly beckoned to be rearranged from alphabetical to reverse chronological order and back again, I simply have no choice. The only real consolation is found in pop music, Leonard Cohen of Costello. The miss a never ending cycle of misery heartache, providing grist for our nil of self pity. Pump music has the amazing ability to make you feel depressed and hopeful at the same time, depressed that you identify with the sentiment in hopeful, because someone feels more miserable than you. For me that someone was Nate. The only brightness to my day was seeing my break-up, buddy and feeling marginally better that he was even more press. Tonigh-. He showed up at my door carrying family size bucket of chicken drumsticks. If I'd lost all interest in food, Nate head gone in the opposite direction, he gobbled up anything that wasn't fastened to the floor. Even so he couldn't figure out his weight gain. I just don't get it. He'd say wolfing down his third cheeseburger. I mean where did all come from? It's like you, turn thirty and boom. You're pumpkin. As just a little exercise. They were tennis courts near department instantly became our habit to play once or twice a week. Neither of us played well, but with a lot of sweating in grunting it proved therapeutic. When I activated in old shoulder injury. Our tennis came to an end after that I didn't hear from Nate for a couple of weeks and I'd assumed he'd found another tennis partner, or become busy at work. But when my phone calls and Email messages, went unanswered, I decided to drive over to his apartment and check up on them. His car was there. But the blinds were drawn. After I pounded on the door for a good fifteen minutes, finally, poked, his head outside, like a giant mastodon awakened from thousand year, slumber. Something about his glassy eyed stare, and the greenish orange hue of his skin told me he taken turn for the worse. Walking into his darkened Lehrer. I understood that Nate head, not found another tennis partner. Instead he had crossed over into just of Conrad territory. He journeyed up the name river into the heart of darkness. Without air conditioning apartment was a good ten degrees, hotter than the ninety degrees outside the at home. Sweat unwashed, clothing. In rotting food hung heavy in the air. A chicken carcass lay on the kitchen floor stripped to the bone as if by Rana. Walking to open a window noticed. There were vegetable peelings all over the floor. Nate appeared moments later from the kitchen mechanically shaving carrot when he finished he chomped on the carrot and started peeling another. What's with carrots? I asked. Nothing. He said, I just quit smoking. And you took carrots. I guess we saw them to do with my hands. I filled three garbage bags with chicken, bones and pizza boxes and took them out to the dumpster, smack in the middle of the living room directly in front of the television was a shiny new bench press in giant barbell, glossy, brochures, bright plastic folders about how to become a real estate millionaire in ten easy. Steps litter, the floor. Gradually picture began to emerge of the man who hadn't slept or washed, in days, spending his time, alternately lifting weights watching late night, infomercials in eating fried chicken. Larmer and anxious. To get out of there is suggested we go see a movie he was game. And after stopping for two bags of carrots we pulled into the theater. The movie of the summer was castaway starring Tom Hanks as Chuck Noland clever chap who washes ashore on a desert island after his plane goes down in the Pacific. As his hope rescue fades. He begins the long battle for survival. More important his sanity. Something about the story spoke directly to Nate in me. Why? I don't think castaway was intended as a comedy. We never laughed so hard in all our lives. It was like watching ourselves of their on screen people audience glare disapprovingly as we laughed in all the wrong places. We have called when Chuck knocked out his tooth with an ice skate. While the rest of the audience sniffles, as he selected the tree from which to hang himself, we clinched our sides with Larry. Hopelessly isolated and lonely. Chuck develops a relationship with volleyball giving the ball face even aim Wilson. It was Wilson more than anything that help preserve his sanity allowing him to mount. A last desperate bid to escape his island prison. I thought about the strange set of circumstances in coincidences that have brought Nate in Mita. Gather. I told myself he was fortunate to have me a friend. And while keeping an eye on him had allowed me to feel charitable magnanimous. I knew my impulse was anything but altruistic in truth Nate was the art stick by which I measured my own progress helping need feel good about myself, and preserve my own sanity. Nate I realized. Had become my Wilson. This. Overweight slightly adult person munching carrots, next to me, was my life raft. With a movie ended we shuffled outside with the rest of the Saturday night date. Crowd handsome, boys and coltish girls dressed in shorts and t shirts. They wandered outside laughing and smiling blissfully unaware of the dangers. They courted. Would they still be happy and smiling in a year's time knowing as we did that to love is to risk great unhappiness? For them. The movie was over. Forgotten like the two large buckets of popcorn left under their seats for us. The movie clung, like a lingering dream state. It followed us into the parking lot and beyond. After getting ice cream eight nine set outside miring the clear night sky, heavy to have company, but. Each secretly wishing he was somewhere else. With someone else. I couldn't even recognize it for the glorious time. It was. Six months later. I finally managed to escape my own desert island by moving to New York. And though I since lost touch with Nate, I often think about them. When I do, it's not the grief of my horrible break-up, remember, but the laughter in friendship, followed. Don't believe me. Just ask Chuck Nolan. Sure he feels the same way about Wilson. That's William Jackson Harper reading, Mark mcdevitt, essay misery, loves fried chicken to we'll hear more from Marc after the break. Modern love is sponsored by own my gut dot info. We need to talk about something abdominal pain, bloating, and constipation. You tell yourself. It's not that bad. You take laxatives modify your diet and exercise routine. But thinking about it all the time is frustrating. This doesn't have to define you, if your concentration and domino symptoms come back again. And again, and you don't know why then it may be time to seek help go to Mike dot info slash podcast where you can learn more about your symptoms. That's my gut dot info slash podcast. Mark mcdevitt essay was published in two thousand five. He says it's strange to reread the piece today this morning when I was coming in here. I thought, oh gosh. I better read the story again. You know, it's been been fourteen years on the ferry coming here, and I'm chuckling to myself, laughing with the benefit of time in hindsight. I can look at it now with a kind of detachment. So I had a lot of compassion for that guy who's sort of confused and reeling and then looking to this other person as sort of a life, raft and glomming onto him in a way that is now very, very humorous to me. But at the time, you know, it felt like a drowning Mark never heard from Nate about the essay. And he's not sure if Nate's read it didn't stick it under his nose, nor did I hide it. And we fell out of context after after we broke up. We didn't talk for many years, and then reconnected. Facebook, as many people to we shared some very nice notes memories. And then we kind of winter separate ways again. And more thought Nate was a fascinating character, one of the qualities that I like to bet Nate was that he was an open book in it was he was defenseless in other words, and we all have our armor that we go into the world with right. You know, look at me. I'm so together. I'm, I'm so polished, and he was just a mess. And he didn't disguise that and it made me love him. I think what we're looting, too. Alluding to is, is depression, and male depression, and different men will we'll deal with that in different ways. And I think in his case he stopped taking care of himself. And perhaps, you know, he might not like to be reminded of that, you know, the, the carrots or the forgetting to shower for, for days at a time that kind of thing, some people don't want to remember that. I understand that. Mark got through his own break-up by getting deeply involved at his work, and new life in New York City, and eventually, he met his wife through his uncle who he says, kept pestering marked, call her. I had no interest in meeting, anybody. And certainly not anybody that my family was going to recommend to me, but, but he became such a nuisance. Any becomes such a pass. Okay. Fine. I'll meter and when we did meet it was like, oh, okay, now, I see now, I see what he was trying to tell me. But Mark says he was a little hesitant to take the risk of getting into a new relationship. We just took it slowly. At least I did. I took it very slowly. Maybe she would've liked that we got married quicker, but I Myers, you know, ten year engagement is not unusual. So the break-up Mark writes about in his piece was his last, but he remembers clearly that when you're in the midst of break-up it can feel like there's not much. That's worse, the only advice I would say his don't isolate. There's a great tendency. At least there is for me to draw down the curtains and call them to the covers and listen to this. And kind of go into the into the dark place. Sometimes it's by dint of will you have to force yourself to get out the door. You're not even in the mood. But you just say I'm doing this. And he says it's important to remember that things will get better. Eventually you're going to move through that, that period, you'll come out the other end and you may even look on with warm affection, even the misery of my break-up, you know, with me, and we, we, we had a good time we're going through something. So it was very hard to, to see it for that in the moment. But I look at it now with great tenderness and Fundus, especially for Nate. Mark mcdevitt. He's a writer and screenwriter living in New Jersey, with his wife and son more after the break. The fact that in two thousand nineteen where having this debate about measles, vaccine, makes my head want to explode, which is tennis. Strange really strange place in the only people speaking up the parents, endless thread, the podcast from WBU are Boston's NPR station and read it brings you a special series on the history of vaccines in anti Bax subscribe on apple podcasts, or wherever you listen. Here's Daniel Jones editor of the modern love column for the New York Times modern love the column may be mostly about romantic love and probably secondarily about family, love and family bonds. But we do have, you know, really interesting pieces about friendship. But in this case, I just love their connection. I love the sense of humor about it was just a really funny funny and touching piece about how much friendship can really mean to you and get you through hard times. And here's William Jackson harbor. There's like a. Commiseration misery. And like living in New York for me. Like sometimes that's the thing that is that I miss the most is that sometimes things just suck. And you look at that other person across the train having that same, sort of experience, like this sucks. Yeah. This also we all in this together and it just sucks. And, you know, like that, which I sort of I find really comforting. And it's also. There's something about how depression sneaks up on you. When I've had my moments, it's like just a cloud like the way describes his depression. Everything loses luster and food doesn't matter. You can't sleep is just sort of it for me. It's not even like a it's not an active like sadness. It's more just everything feels pointless. And sometimes in the midst of that, when you have a person that's also going through something that's similar. There's something about the relationships forged in those times, which feel like they can be really lasting so specific and felt like, oh, no. I I I've been that guy. I know that guy. Thanks again, to William for reading this week's piece you can see him on NBC's, the good place, which is back this fall. Modern love is a production of the New York Times and WB. You are Boston's NPR station. It's produced directed and edited by Caitlyn O'Keefe original scoring and sound design by Matt read. Iris Adler is our executive producer. Daniel Jones is the editor of modern love for the New York Times and adviser to the show special thanks to Samantha Hennig on your streaming and mealy at the New York Times the idea for the modern love podcast was conceived by the Tobin the digital music, courtesy of APO magnitude wordy cenex week. Modern love supported by xfinity. Some things are hard to control like over caffeinated co workers other things are easy to control. Like you're in home wifi with xfinity, X fi, set wifi curfew, change your password, and create user profiles over the x fi app. Another reason why xfinity is simple easy. Awesome go online. Call one eight hundred xfinity or visit a store to learn more. Restrictions apply.

Nate Mark mcdevitt New York Times Boston Nate head depression New York City tennis Nate I Wilson abdominal pain NBC William Jackson Harper Chuck apple xfinity Termi bloating Chile
Encore | The Doorman With Cecily Strong

Modern Love

21:35 min | 1 year ago

Encore | The Doorman With Cecily Strong

"Modern love the podcast supported by xfinity. Some things are hard to control. Other things are easy. Like you're in home wifi with xfinity, X fi, you can set a wifi curfew change your password, and create user profiles all with the x fi app. Another reason why xfinity is simple easy. Awesome go online. Call one eight hundred xfinity or visit a store to learn more restrictions apply. Need to unwind a bit kind world is here? Termi- job at all. That's good with the world with stories about transformative acts of kindness. Tune into new episodes, every Tuesday to add some positivity to your life. Subscribe, now on apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Produced by the island at WBU are Boston. From the New York Times, and WBU are Boston. This is modern law. Stories of love loss and redemption. I'm your host, Meghna, Chuck regarding. when it comes to family, there's the family, you're related to by blood, and there's the family you bring into your life by choice. And sometimes you find those people in unexpected places as Julie. Margaret Hogg bended, Saturday Night, Live, cast, member, Cecil e strong reads Julius essay. When the doorman is your main, man. It was summertime in Manhattan, dark and balmy almost midnight on the Upper West side. Drinks gun. Well while can we home, he held my hand tipsy? I said, you can't come up and stopped near stoop on a want to. He said, coyly placing his hands on my waist drawing me close, but I do wanna see you again. He smiled. I smiled what I mean is if you wanna kiss me good night? It has to be here. We weren't even close to my building. But I thought you lived in. He said, craning his neck to look street signs, the ninety s I do, but see he knows. We're on our first date, and there's a window he can see out of onto the sidewalk, and sometimes he's waiting if I'm late he can get worried who my data looking concerned who can see us. I had your boyfriend know your dad. No, no. It's hard to your husband you married. I side and shrugged flying. My freak flag ruining the moment. My door man. Kazeem was my doorman an hour's was a common and unsung friendship that between women living in New York, single and alone, and the doorman who take care of them, acting as gatekeepers, bodyguards confidence, and father figures, the doorman who protected deliver much more than zap postboxes, and freshdirect. Not because it's part of the job. But because they're good men. I don't like him because even said of a new guy, it was dating two months later. He whispered this over the intercom. I entered the lobby and saw them outside my doorman, and my date on the sidewalk, laughing and chatting my date, turn to flick. His cigarette away and Kazeem took the moment to shoot me a look he'd gotten the scoop, and was already wary. I waved goodbye as my date, and I walked off when I glanced back shook his head, I rolled my eyes. What did he know what could he tell from a ten minute talk? My date turned out to be sexy and funny spoke for just Hebrew in partied too much. And so I agreed to a second drink and some again and again as autumn two on. I was always attracted to bad, boys. Kazeem wasn't a bad boy. He was kind in well-mannered a gray haired, cross between Cary Grant, and George Clooney. Born in L. Yeah. In the mid nineteen forties. He hailed from an educated military family. His father had been an army general when Kazeem was nineteen the communist leader. And very Hoge's secret police arrested and turned his family, accusing them of treason for twenty years. He lived in a labor camp forced to farm in a remote area. Not unlike Stalin's gulags my whole life is young men. He said to me, once he never married. Never had children. At thirty nine he was finally released and the United States granted his family asylum. He found a job as a white gloved doorman in New York. Whenever I asked him how he was on any day at any hour. He always said, no complaints that was his mantra. On Halloween night that same year. I walked home again this time alone from CVS, couldn't sleep and pajama bottoms and a shirt. I skipped up the steps into the lobby a white paper bag clinched in my hand hidden inside was a pregnancy test Kazeem was resting on his usual stool half on half off and looked up from his New York Post, what he said, what I said nothing. What is it nothing? I sailed past and held up the bag headache. Tylenol. No, he said in a drawn outweigh shaking his head folding his newspaper closed. I couldn't fool him. I stopped and looked around. No one was in the lobby fine was well after midnight. So I doubled back, I think I don't know. I bit my lip. I missed a, you know, my face contorted, and I started to cry Kazeem waited than said the Israeli. Yes. And I don't even like him. I said, wiping, my tears. He's a liar. I can't spend the rest of my life with him. So don't because the said straightening, the cuffs of his uniform jacket. We stood and talked for two more hours, I was distraught. I thought I'd been safe counted the days and done the math used protection most of the time. How did this happen? I stupidly asked how seems said with a rice mile come on its life. Two weeks later, I told the father, he seemed at once delighted and horrified a few weeks later. He even proposed I politely declined. He didn't want to be a parent. Not really. We didn't wanna marry each other. We both knew the truth. I said, I'd raise the baby myself, and he could be involved as little or as much as he wanted to be he was off the hook as long as we kept the drama at bay. And stayed in touch, we three would be friends, if not family, he agreed three months later and starting to show. I broke the news to everyone else, my Catholic, parents married over forty years feared for my future, as a single mother. I didn't blame them my girlfriend's married and single mothers or childless were mostly supportive. But I became fodder for gossip who was the father, did I dumped him where did he dump me valid questions? Sometimes has to my face sometimes not. But down in the lobby Kazeem was there with no dog in the race. Wasn't his daughter sister, ex I wasn't his employees or boss, our social circles didn't overlap six days a week. He stood downstairs detached, but also carrying enough to be the perfect friend neither worried, nor pitying. It was he who signed for the crib when it came for the onesies bottles, and boxes of diapers, it was he who asked how I felt every day, I saw the Israeli every few weeks Kazeem and I talked a lot over those nine months, and his worldly perspective. Comforted me more European than Tri state, more Cold War than twenty-first-century and grounded. And gratitude his stance was resolute, he upheld an honored me for my choice and protected my dignity and self esteem. I was still young. Reminded me I could still meet a man and get married. I had a master's degree at job savings. So what if I wasn't married? Look, the world worse things that happened in history, please, we would be fine. My baby was a gift. In August while it was away for the weekend. My water broke early and I gave birth in providence. Rhode Island two days later. My parents picked me up and drove me south on route ninety five to the Upper West side, and home when my father pulled up Kazeem new the car, he skipped on the steps and swung back door wide open. Somehow he knew what was waiting inside. I climbed out exhausted in teary. We hugged, we both gazed at the sleeping newborn impossibly pretty. Beautiful. He said, wonderful job. Nine days later, these rarely left for good. His father was sick back home. He said, we were friends and on good terms and for the next year, I emailed him, photos, he called, and we laughed as he kept me awake during those first long sleepless months, but Kazeem was the face. We saw every day, the man who said, good morning and good night to my girl who smiled and cooed and remarked on her growth, her smile and her first words. He's really kept in touch for over a year and then disappeared no more emails are calls. I'd send photos and he'd send silence. My daughter held a special affection for Kazeem almost as if she understood the role, he had played someone who welcomed her into the world with open arms and open heart ready, and willing to guard and protect her just to see it guarded and protected. Her mother, she'd run down the sidewalk arms outstretch, and he'd catch her up into a big hug. Her father doesn't call her visit and we don't call her visit him. But we visit Kazeem. We live in California now. But when we're in New York, we dropped by the building hoping to find Zima at his post. Sometimes he is. Sometimes he isn't that we always check. And when we find him and he asks, how I'm doing. I look at my girl, and I say, no complaints. Cecil strong reading, Julie Margaret Hogg Benz essay when the doorman is your main man will hear how Julie and her daughter Isabelle, doing after the break. Modern love is supported by xfinity. Some things are hard to control like over caffeinated co workers other things are easy to control. Like you're in home wifi with xfinity, X fi WI fi curfew change your password, and create user profiles. Oh, but the x fi at another reason why xfinity is simple easy. Awesome go online. Call one eight hundred fifty or visit a store to learn more restrictions apply. Hey, it's been an Ameri, and we're the hosts of endless thread, the show, featuring stories found on the website, read it but you don't have to be a it or to enjoy the kinds of stories. We tell like a couple experimenting with non monogamy or boredom that may have predicted the attacks on Pearl Harbor. Subscribe to endless threat on apple podcasts or wherever you listen. Hey modern love fans on Friday, June fourteenth at six thirty pm modern love will be live at the province town film festival in province town, Massachusetts. We're back for the second year in a row and this year's show will feature live performances by three actors, including John, Cameron Mitchell of Hedwig and the angry inch. I'll be there, and there will be a live musical performance. So for tickets and more information, go to WBU are dot org slash modern love, that's WB. You are dot org slash modern love we're back. It's modern love the podcast. I'm Meghna Chakrabarti. And now a postscript from the author of this. Tweaks 'Save Julie, Margaret Hogg, Ben, my daughter is eight years old now, three years ago, we moved out of New York City and we live in California now. She's doing great. I think our biggest complaint that she, she would still like a dad. So I am still single. If anybody out there knows anybody. That, you know, we have a great life. We're very lucky. We have supportive friends and family and. So that's sort of where we are. I'm not in touch with her dad. He doesn't reach out. He doesn't send any money. You know, it's too bad in specially for her. I think I have sort of the life experience to know that only specific kind of person in particular kind of man could step out of his own child's life completely. So in a way that points to the possibility that were she and I are both really dodging a bullet. I think anyone's life when you step off sort of a conventional path, you really find out quickly who your friends are people showed their true, colors and gazillion was among a couple of people who just embraced me and my situation, open arms, no judgment, and just as very worldly perspective that said, what other people think doesn't matter. This is your family just nothing else matters. At this point in our conversation with Julie, we told her that we had a surprise guest on the line from New York City. I am Zimba cash e-. I work as a doorman. Hike. I'm good. Honey? I'm guide when we miss you guys every doing she's guide. Duly did have very big step. She decided to have the baby and not have the relationship with the baby's father which at that time for me is a very, very strong on my eyes. Thank you is being. No, thank you. That's that's true. I've been Josh as a person when my father was condemned. So all my life, I've been judged without knowing me who I am. How can I judge? Joel is life without having. No. And the reason we have only to help is a human being and support and he's her was her decision. The very nobody could decide for her. I think the part of the reason why. 'cause even I have this sort of Jews you is because we are, are ready, empathetic people in. We are ready people who are not. Put off by the unconventional. I think you just sort of viscerally feel that smell that no. That in another person. The doorman is a person has a name that war is a lower level war is not qualified, or buts doormen in New York are good human beings. I am going to protect all the. In your dobermans. You really have to take time to listen to and see and know the people around you on a daily basis or else, you're losing out. Single mother thing to raise a child educated child run. A household work full-time. It's very difficult. It's very straining. And so I try to be Kazeem for other people in my life. I I keep an eye out for people who need that person to serve step into their purview and say, I recognize things are not perfect right now, you are loved and supported. And, you know, you have you've friend here. If you need one. The point for Jolie is Jolie. Be strong. Soy's life, right? Jar Julia out Julie Margaret Hogg, Ben author of when the doorman is your main, man. She also wrote the novel. Allie Hughes has sex, sometimes under the pen, name jewels Milan, which comes out in paperback on June fourteenth. We also heard from Guzzi bacteria, she who works as a doorman in Manhattan. And now a word from the editor of modern love for the New York Times Daniel Jones in Julie's. Essay Kazeem provides such a refreshing perspective, and sort of this grounded reality that gives her the confidence to go forward. It also is instructive in how the different ways we form families, and who is important us. Julie goes forward with this birth you know, without the support of typical husband or father figure for the child, but sort of brings in this man Kazeem, who so important in her her life and makes himself important, and she sort of accepts. That it really speaks to, to having an open mind about how families are formed, and how love shared Julie story is an example of life is what happens while we're making other plans? It's an example of saying yes to things. How many times do we hear? I'm waiting to have children until the time is right. Whether it's having a baby or buying a first home, or you know, it's, it's very hard to get all your ducks in a row before making any of these huge life decisions. And I like how Julie just says, yes to it. Modern love editor, Dan Jones special, thanks to Cecil strong for reading this week's essay, you can see her on Saturday Night, Live modern love is a production of the New York Times, and UB. You are Boston's NPR station. It's produced directed and edited by Caitlyn O'Keefe original scoring and sound design by Matt read. Iris Adler is our executive producer. Daniel Jones is the editor of modern love for the New York Times and adviser to the show special thanks to Julia Simon on strengthen and Mealea at the New York Times the idea for the modern love podcast was conceived by Lisa Tobin additional music, courtesy of a PM. I'm Chuck reward eve, we'll see next week. Modern love if the ported by xfinity some things are hard to control like over caffeinated co workers other things are easy to control. Like you're in home wifi with xfinity, X fi WI fi curfew change your password, and create user profiles over the x fi app. Another reason why xfinity is simple easy. Awesome go online. Call one eight hundred xfinity or visit a store to learn more. Restrictions apply.

Kazeem Julie Margaret Hogg Benz New York xfinity Manhattan Margaret Hogg New York Times Boston apple Kazeem Chuck Termi United States Cecil California New York Post Pearl Harbor providence
 Love Not Hate

Velvet's Edge

59:42 min | Last month

Love Not Hate

"Looking our best means taking time for renewal including skin renewal, but anti-aging retinol can be so harsh irritating will bird spy's has found nature's gentle yet powerful retinol alternative Makuuchi y'all emitted the key ingredient in their birds, bees, renewal skincare line, which includes affirming moisturizing cream, a refining cleanser and more all formulated without parabens, phthalates SOS and Petro Latam go to bird species dot com slash renewal and take time for renewal today. Guys I'm Katie Lowes, actress, mom and host. The parenting podcast Katie's. A show that helps women navigate the colossal changes that come with motherhood. You'll hear from resilient Mama's knowledgeable experts and me asking a whole lot of questions, it's real talk that offers real perspective on what it's really liked to be. apparent new episodes published every other Thursday listen to Katie's scrape on the iheartradio APP or on Apple podcasts wherever you get your podcasts. This Kelly Henderson and you are listening to the velvets edge podcast. My guest today are Lana Siri Kerr. Who are the founders of one of my very favorite beauty? Brands Co to lift I mean if you guys follow me on Instagram at velvets edge. You know that I use these mask pretty religiously, and honestly they are truly the one product that I recommend followers when they ask about my skin, so I've worked with on anterior for years now, but today our conversation isn't. Isn't about the mask a wanted to talk to them about being black both Lana interior black, and although it's not something I've ever thought about. They felt like a very safe place for me as a white person to go, ask questions about things going on now about racism about white privilege about their experience in both life and business, the more I've researched in the more I'm learning I'm accepting some things about myself on these topics that have come as a huge surprise. And I think it's time we keep getting honest and continue to have these conversations in order to grow. I'm super grateful for Lana Interiors openness and the grace. We were all able to give each other. These topics were not easy for any of us to navigate. Here's our conversation. When I was talking to you guys, a little earlier I think that the thing that I have noticed over the past few weeks as you know when this I initially started I was looking at all the police brutality, and I was saying Oh. My God like this is not okay. This is terrible and obviously we've been hearing about this for years, but I think over the last at least this last week in the last the period of time since this has been happening on a bigger scale, I was just not really tying this into what people are now saying is white, privilege, white supremacy and I. I was just thinking about that as even existing in my life. I actually, probably would have told you I. don't see color. There's no chance I'm a racist. It's not anything I ever think about. But what I'm learning is that's kind of part of the problem. So what I wanted to talk to you guys about today was your experience as black people as black ship owners, and just what we as white. Americans can do right now, and then what we can do long-term so terry. Let's start with you because I know you grew up in America. You said you grew up in Chicago right. The group in south side Chicago Okay So. What what are some ways that you could look back and just know that? Maybe your life experience was i. don't know a little different than my my life experience just because you're black. Well, that's. A Big That has so many implications A. Starwood with is just understand that. Just to have the conversation. The terminology that we all use meets words mean things to people in different ways. In the black community in America as a self, just the fact that we're talking about the fact that you're saying you're you're a black person in America. And there are some that says you're African. American Drawn up in the city in Chicago where I was born and raised. As I grew. I more lean towards the term of. Being called a black, American, not African Americ- Well, why? I you in my experience I don't know anything about Africa. You and I both neither one of us can tell where I came from right. Right so to Termi as African American, all automatically says something, but the fact is I. Don't have any connection to Africa anymore than you right? Hey, why am I African American I could be wrong to some people, but the truth is I prefer to be considered a black American because I'm you know my skin is dark in that? We call it black. Okay, we'll call it that I'm not necessarily black, but I'm color this color at me, so that alone starts to whole thought process it starts identifying separating treat. You know well. What does this mean so? that alone. Is the beginning of our might particular experience The truth be told as I mentioned to my wife many occasions. Growing up on the outside of Chicago my interactions at that time with. White, people were very limited. it would be based on circumstances that I was put. In to go to the doctor or go to. The bank or something to that degree. But. It wasn't necessarily a daily part of my life because there weren't any. necessarily. Many if any white people in my. Ten, block radius. So, it's just. You just you're not accustomed to dealing with each other right. And that was my experience growing up in the city. Okay so you what? You weren't even interacting in the same way, it's just very. I mean I actually grew up the exact same way, but just the opposite obviously. Yeah Yeah. And that was my experience growing up in the city I was fortunate enough to have been able to not only live in that environment, but I lived in. As a young person preteens I've lived in California where I was in a mixed community. You know an upper class middle class mixed community, which gave me a whole different perspective of Lice. From that point of view why way? Just the exposure of being around kids of my age. That didn't look like me didn't come from the same. Environment is me and understand that these are just kids. We're just all kids trying to find our way and find people who care about us and that we like and want us spend our time and lives with a change that and when you realize that it's like okay, that's all it's opens your. Your your that connection that. Environment opens your experience so now you ain't you begin to think different right like? Maybe you didn't even realize you were different before. And then that kind of opens that up to. There's a whole nother world out there. Yeah exactly written. Different, but they're different. Things were different. You start realizing you're all different even in the same house. You know. And then my final experience was in high school where I was the only black male in my school. So I went from an extreme, only all black high school environment mill. Younger Age is growing up to. The Mix to being the only black male in the school. What was that like? Lot of experiences what I can tell you my personal experience. What was the light? It was. Turned into. To the grace of God one of the best experiences I've ever had in my life. There my lifelong. Heartfelt trends. And maybe it's time of life. You know how when you're in that teenage. You know frame of mind that became those are my lifelong heartfelt friends. Because the ones that were younger I. Don't have connection to you. Know those times pass. It. Certainly has grafted and affected my way of thinking. Because I think of my lifelong friends. Those are ones that I think about. What we were talking the other day because. Your wife Lana. Hi Lana! Are you there? She Lot you're from Jamaica and you put you made such a great point to me. That I have never thought about that being black in a different country, it isn't. It doesn't make you any different, or it's not looked at as any different or is any than in America. You have felt a different mentality. Is is that how you would explain it? Yeah. I mean I first of all I, didn't even? Recognize racism. Until I was, or even the term until I was in university, studying African psychology in Jamaica everybody. Or Block or will fair skate I mean everybody's different shades of a block interim saying yeah for the most part. I think. Also has. Chinese, yes. That's right one midwestern. Returns. This. This is what you talked about not talking together, but. Okay. Thank you, Terry Jamaicans are mixed. Different Rate, you have Chinese block. You have Chinese Jamaica you have White Jamaicans. You have black Jamaicans Bone Jamaicans. You have. All different types of nationalities nationals were all considered Jamaica's. We all kind of sewn, the same yeah, and so you know I've never, and then, and then because of how I grew up in Jamaica where I grew up the kind of what was the opportunities that were open to me. I've never I've always. For instance, we grew up in Jamaica just because of my family. I've never had to you know. Wait in line at a bank. I stopped by the police because of my license plate. I wouldn't get a ticket I mean I've always had a feeling of. Expectation that that whole life was. And so even when I moved here, I'm to America when I when things didn't work out for me, I've never attributed it. To me, beat a block, person. I just I I've never felt that way. Because I, was I didn't have that experience of being denied based on the fact that I or felt less in any way. That's not whole. That wasn't my experience. I wasn't what's circled around me so I kind of grew up without however in Jamaica even though we may not have. You know racial prejudice I know that definitely there's a class structure you kind of know based on your exposed to certain things, and it's it is sort of you know. It is true that the you know, the lighter your skin, the more. Privileges and opportunities that you may get. Or the fact that if you have you have to have a certain amount of money and. Be into certain, group of people, and so I kind of that kind of. Exists there as well so? If you spoke to another Jamaican. Who? They, who who may not necessarily have those same experience or privileges they may feel differently. However I noticed across the board. Jamaicans never feel less based on their race. No matter what classes come from because they feel in themselves the they've never had that I think when slavery was abolished and look at how things progressed. We didn't have that period of segregation that was here in the United States. It wasn't so direct a laws never kind of facilitated a certain bias towards race, and so because of that in our cells, and then and know, and then you can go into the history of where the slaves coming. You can hear all different stories. You know the slaves that came to Jamaica. They you know the maroons. They got their thought away right before the English. Came in, so they were free for very long time with a separate community outside of slavery I mean he just has a different dynamic in Jamaica and a lot of the islands and so. Yes. Our psyche is just a little different. So I was exposed to that racial when I when I was in university. And then we went into a clause, and we talk African psychology. They talked about it and it was like. Wow, it was actually just like Oh. You're hearing it when you described and when you will. the, hot cough. That's pretty much kind of where I am. I really this. This is what people are experiencing. No, especially during this time a watching no educating myself just like you are. It's absolutely horrifying because injustice on any front. Is Disgusting to me. However, this is this is this was something very eye opening shelters well, because that's not necessarily been my experience growing. Yeah, and I think that's really interesting to and I love that you guys are educating yourself along with us because it is so like when I was reading in the more I've read the more read. It has been so I- opening and what you're talking about about the lasting effects of slavery. You know what I'd never thought about was. Just the foundations that our country was built upon being built by a white man over and over and over, and you know those things they work for me, maybe not as well as they worked for a white man, because I'm a woman, but for the most part they work for my life, and so a lot of times as humans I think. Unfortunately, we don't see outside of our own experience, and that has been something that I'm starting to face myself. You know, and not in that like I think any differently of anyone because of any sort of color of their skin, but that may be. My experience in life has been different because of that. Exactly just to say that is so interesting. My talking to my father and my father, very bright man went to. He met my mother at Howard University in DC. He was saying. He graduated with his NBA top of his class and his first job he got into. An, a a radio station and it was, he was the token. They had higher ceremony black. Percents and he said he was glad to be working, but he was paid less. He was responsible to get the dying radio station to be the number one station in that area, and when his boss took the whole team ultra vacation somewhere in Virginia, he was. They all got bonuses. He wasn't given one. Yet. He was the one responsible. He got a lower salary now. How did it affect him? Just trying to show the different sound the difference, his mentality, just him talking to you about it. He didn't it wasn't he wasn't upset to. He decided as you know something. I'm going to leave this job. I I'm GONNA leave them and go somewhere else with my talent it. It was just his experience. I think as a Jamaican man made him even though he was facing injustice in a terrible way based on his race. It's it. He never felt less in any way because of it or he dispelled felt like. He was gonNA match. Aggression with aggression. I am I saying it correctly. When use the word aggression, but a he? Understand what you're saying me has choice was that? because. He was so his confident within himself that he said he felt he would just leave and go and do what he does. Somewhere else and let consoles, and others benefit from it, and they would be. It would be their loss. And that's the correctly I think of thinking about it. that wouldn't necessarily be. The exact way a black American male would have. Experienced it. Depends on what is experiences where you wouldn't be totally different? I would have been too right and I think that's what we're seeing right now. So much of that frustration, and unfortunately you know we're all seemingly hearing it right now. I don't know if it was the quarantine. If it was just, it's so much bigger, but it's been happening for so long you know, and it's just for some reason now. All of a sudden people are seeming to hear it. Yes! An and it is something that's been happening for so long and I you know I, think in my opinion and of course this is only one person's opinion. Again I always want to make sure that. It may have started at. When their countries was inception in its exception, if starting on the wrong foot. and we understand that that's a part of history. It is what it is. We can learn from that right, but. As time has progressed in my opinion, the. The Access. and. The quality obviously has gotten. Hundreds of times better, we get that. But there's an underlying at some point, it's not it's like my if I, tell my son, you know the system of the man who's the man with that WHO's the man while there is no man anymore? They used to be the man. The man was the white man at the top. Who took this house going to be and you'RE GONNA? Live by it or die. Buy into story well. That doesn't exist anymore. There's no man that decides us, but the system was created on that so that top pressure down. That has been infiltrated all the way down to the lowest. Person? As something that has become acceptable sold now the system is the man because now. The system runs with AL anyone saying. Exactly well, that's what I'm saying with in my own life in a of even read some articles that are saying you know like why people right now are making such a big stink about this and really fighting, but like long term. Is this going to last? Because the reality that as a white person you have to face? Is that systematically like what you're saying systemically? Excuse me what you're saying is. Things will have to change like it is a bigger deal than just a conversation that we need to have. Agree and I believe it's it's. It's A. S to change, but when you say change in growth. Yeah, I like that idea to. It's Great, Growth Ralph. where it started from, we get that and we need technology. We need to understand. That's our history. We've grown from there to here, but we have to continue to grow, and there's just so many conversations in between Ryan every one of our experiences are different so as I mentioned to, you might experience you know. I can skip forward through Chicago. That's inner city life. Dealing more on the not moron, but in the impoverished side of it. I understand that I. Know It. It looks like I come from a very large family What I consider large I found on their larger, but you know I have thirteen and three uncles, they all. Three de four to five kids. I personally have a humongous family. Yeah! Our family reunions are just our family. We can't even meet with the other families otherwise with Guetta stadium. All right so. It's. That experience I had i. know what that looks like and so my family can range from the darkest color to the lightest color within my own family. Right everything in between. So I see that but Mike Experience. So when you're in that environment, you're just living your life. You're not experiencing. That's your life. But now my experience when I went to high school. Upstate New York while I was the only black kid I can tell you you. Have you ever experienced racism? Yeah, my first day of school, the bus came to my bus. Stop the guy the. Gentleman Open. The door looked at me and the door and kept world. That you're you ain't get on this bus I, don't! I don't know why not I thought it was at the right stop. No other buses came down that road, so I'm figuring. That's my bus. And, it wasn't until my parents, my mom. Corrected the matter that they allowed me on the bus. So. That's the first. Major. Remember that I can say well. Why didn't I'm still a kid? Why didn't you let me on the bus? And now you get all of the bus. And you're the only kid it looks like. or where do you sit? Everyone's afraid or they were many. Shirking back and the whole. You know they were confused. They had never seen either. So I told my wife I said you know who I ended up fitting with it my first few days our. First experiences going to school. It was the long hair leather jacket marble, smokin boot, wear and. You know you know. Pet rocker kid that the other kids were afraid to. But guess. He say mass the next me. Warm. And we. Began a relationship a friendship. From that moment, and that group of people became part of my friendships right from them. Because we were both looked at as outcasts for some reason. And that's my first experiences of that. Being directed directly cores me, and of course in that situation. I'm alone, so it's really just you right. Call to deal with this how to feel about it when I think about high school, too, I mean that is the time where you just want more than anything to fit in. You know like everyone so insecure and their own bodies, and you're just I have. This ideal I guess that kids would be much more accepting, and maybe they are to some degree now, but are in different places, but. Yeah I mean because immediately definitely agree with that. Yeah, immediately you. You feel like it's like a spotlight on. You could imagine just like everyone looking at your like not knowing how to act. Have you dealt with anything specifically, because you guys own your business, so it has? Have you felt it in a business sense at all that it's affected you or made things harder to get started are like with certain clients. Has It made any difference? I think that you know going back to me. Kellyanne Mike again remember I. Don't see when when things come in my face, I get tired around. My first response is not that is because I'm blocked the. Right? It in fact, I remember when I just came into the skin, care business and you know. You're the event and is. It I'm a Vanden and. Being introduced another woman who was successful and by advice that I got was stay in my lane. I didn't even understand what she meant. I and I responded based on. That responded that my lane. I said well. I was a successful CPA. I told all the success I said so. Yes, I'm new to the skin care business, so I guess this will just be one of those things that I will succeed in as well. I. Know I planning my husband. My husband voted. He felt that it was because of that. He said you know you know why. She said I, said no, because he's an idiot, and he said no is because of this. You know what I'm saying, so I think that for me and I'll go back to the business question. See how she would see a different than Italy just because it same statement. Yes, but her life experience hadn't shown that yet. Exactly Yeah I think Kelly before we get back to I think the only time I was. When I was thinking about this podcast and we're talking about it the only time that I have ever. Felt, that way was in relation to to my son. You know I am inheritance. Oh, he's growing up in a household with his father who feels when an I feel most of my fam- Jamaicans, and so they he's indoctrinated into something, so it was an experience in his high school where there was a final here it is, he's always a bright top of his class. He's full our basketball team too good looking as dickens and I'm like he's perfect when. They immediately and I was on. It was on recorded. 'cause was on someone else's phone. They record it and he immediately was going to be suspended. I'm thinking why I'm thinking. I'm being all these things why he's light, and now they're going to suspend him I'm saying it's because of this is the obviously. The only can think is because he's black. That he goes to. is primarily white. Nights get Spanish. You know so it's well. It's one of the largest high school in the country, but it's also very fluent and courses top of his class, and never ever had a problem in schools I mean like you don't even come home with a C. here. That's you know you're just trying his lifestyle mindset are where we lived the whole nine yards, and yet when this happened the. We sell saw as the way that it was being handled was not being handled. In a justly and a circumstance based on that particular circumstance that was clearly seen. and in Ladas opinion at the time the only thing she could come up with his like if I went through all the check marks. Like what did he do wrong? Other than get that morning and be be a black you. Like what could he have done other than run? You can see him running down the hallway. Try to avoid the fight. I guess you could or he could stand still and say listen I. Don't WanNa fight like lead me I don't WanNa. Do this like what else was? He supposed to do to prove that he wasn't and so in in her mice. Had to because he was black now. In her mind and I think ultimately we come to the conclusion. It wasn't just because he but he was black, but the other student was also black to. What would I come to understand is that? It didn't matter you both black. We don't like what's happening for these things just to get ready. So. We'll send you to repertory school You'll learn your lesson and you'll know better. But that wasn't justice because he one of them was the aggressor for his own reason, and it was clear that he you know. My son was doing his best to not be in the situation, but it was unavoidable. That's was the ultimate, so was anyone purposely doing anything wrong to my son purposely to him directly because he was black. I say the answer is no. I just saw it as the ultimate the system. China relegates. You're not that important. Listen. It's easy for me just to do this and just move on with the rest of my day than the. Work at the justice that you deserve because if it was my if we and other engines have happened when it's their white children, that's not how it's handled rise he still that's what it is. An and I saw a documentary the other day, which was very interesting where they it was a study done at Yale University when teachers they were told teachers were being. Being there there is movement and all of that was being studied to see Ho. They're going to respond and they told them there was a white risk. Was Preschools Preschool Kid, a black and white board, boy and girl? Anna and yet to back children to white children, and they told the teacher is at this something. Look for some problems that are going to happen. And in the bad behavior, and all the instances, the teachers automatically looked the black boy. On math, but they in fact when they were shown the results, they were very embarrassed because they couldn't. They all felt that they weren't prejudice, but it was just something inside of them. That made them feel that. If someone who's going to give the problem, it was going to be the block boy, so that just tells you. Yes it's not even it's not even we're not aware it's not conscious. That's a part of the system that we're talking about that. It's just like. DRAINED, into us! And the truth is none of the kids were doing anything wrong, but the Ryan is hard enough. If you look hard enough and long enough, yes, somebody's GonNa Apollo and it's going to be that person. Yeah, where the kids could have unity same. You can create a by looking for. What's the that's? What's the underlying tone and I? Kelly I didn't want to Forget this point because you did ask about our business and there has been another I'll give you a scenario that you made. You can understand, or you may be shocked by so when we first got into this particular business by the way been. We've been in business for over twenty years together married. Couple like that's a whole nother. Wow, that's a whole nother casting. For, sure, But. In this environment is very few might. I'll use the word minority owned. Companies! There's very few so. In, this environment, you know we're competing like every other company to get visibility for our products and services that we can add value to our customers, and that's you know we wanna give our best. We want our people to be happy. Our customers and spread like everyone else, but when we're in its environment conscientiously, we've had to make decisions that in many the occasions we don't even represent ourselves as the owner of the business right away. We have white people who work for Spanish people work. The week is automatically understood when someone comes into a, it's just a air when they come to our environment. They assume that we work for the other person's. And you just Kinda let them go along with that a lot of time of. Conversation to be had at the moment, but the truth is, we have to internalize that a moment in the moment deal with it because our job is to express the benefits that are company's GonNa Bring Lou the potential client not to create some social conversation at the moment so long. We had to in multiple occasions. This'll until it's necessary. To by that point. We made our point so now. It's a business decision, not a personal, but can you imagine that you can't even represent yourself because you're going judge before? They even know what you have long. Looking our best means taking time for renewal including skin renewal, but anti-aging can be so harsh and irradiating leave. It's birt's bees defined natures. Yet powerful retinol alternative, but Coochie all and make it the key ingredient and their birds, bees, renewal, skincare line, but Coochie, all gentle on the skin, and can be used every day and night. The renew align includes affirming moisturizing cream, refining, cleanser, affirming cream and more all formulated without parabens, phthalates, s ls Petra Latam for anyone looking to reduce the look of fine lines and wrinkles into firm and brighten their skin. Birds, bees, renewal skincare line is the natural choice. Just go to burst B.'S DOT, com slash renewal and take time for renewal today, birds, bees, renewal skincare line with Coochie, all of our full retinal alternative that's gentle by nature. That's burt dot com slash renewal working from home. Conference calls. You're still on me John Everything. We have going on right now. It's never been more important at the sleep. We need quality. Sleep is a natural immune booster, and only the sleep number three sixty smart beds, sensitive movements at automatically adjusts your covered support on both sides your sleep number setting so all those other things we're doing to stay healthy and happy well they'll work better to. And now during the lowest price of the season Queens sleep number three, sixty four is only twelve ninety nine save four hundred dollars, only for a limited time to learn more go to sleepnumber dot, com. I mean actually I can I can't imagine that because I do I do think that is a lot of the ways that it feels to be a woman sometimes. Is that you you, do you? People will just make assumptions and or they. You have to downplay yourself to make other people comfortable, and it's weird. It doesn't feel good. Clearly unnecessary I agree with you. We'll so moving with that other than making assumptions and like educating ourselves. What do you guys think are ways that we continue this growth in this change in this? This I don't know acceptance almost to where you guys aren't feeling like you have to do even small things like that like you can just live your life and be you. What do you have? Do you have any sort of suggestions or specific things that you could say especially as a white person that I could do differently? Well from my standpoint. Give us a lot of thought. I've not I don't think it's ever. Hasn't come to a conclusion of anything, but one of the things I feel is. A. Black, Americans! We want to be seen as Americans. Okay we every so every Lana comes she. Oh, she was raised in Jamaica. There's know there's you know people from Ireland mainland. There's people from Spain people from Germany. They have where they come from. That's that's that's well finding acceptable. They feel at home in their home because that's where they're from. This is our home right? This is our home. I am an American I WANNA be treated with all the rights and dignity and. And and benefits that being American means saw ultimately. All I want. Is Equality. Anything more I don't want. You've given me anything I. Don't want you to give me anything I. WANNA WORK FOR WHATEVER I. Can accomplish on my own I. Don't want to be. Completely equal the same toss abilities that every other American, who is an American by whether born or become a citizen. Have the right to be a citizen with all the benefits completely period in the story. Yeah, just let me be equal yeah! The thing is the thing. Is Kelly hold you do that? Whole went on his actioning. Hold because. Is I think a boat you? I think the show like the voice. Of that the INTR, the the the the the the. Choice? They are they don't even see the contestants. Their chairs term. People simply by the tone and the talent that they're demonstrating through singing Rhine, so they can. They feel by doing that? They can give an unbiased opinion because they know When when if you like the American idol show, they're looking at their whole image and now. They're looking so if we see first of all every known race a special. Black people, White people, not special black people Chinese people. Yellow people special everyone is just a complicated individual, and if you can just take away that and see them for what it is underneath, and what they do, and how they say, that is a hard thing to do, because you're not the voice, you have to turn your chair and you're looking at the individual and people are going to have biases. That's how how it is I mean Jamaica growth their biases based on a preference on of compaction, or whatever you you're growing up with a set of things that people identify with people who relate more to them. I mean you can have you know which if you talk to I was talking to this this this father the other day. And he was telling me that he actually favors one of his children his children. He favors one of them. Can you imagine he's? Tell the purchase talent public that he does. But he has to consciously put his mind where he's giving can't. He's going to give you know he's going to try and be equal rights. I think that the he talked about the mechanics of it. I? Don't think about that daycare. Your this is you ultimately you could prefer based on what relates more to your white works in our. You're comfortable with why people so you're going to. Maybe that's going to be innately. That's what you're gonNA. Prefer okay so what you have to do like that. You have to be fair. You have to consciously say something I am going to be fair to my lesser liked child. Right fiercer you have to consciously as an individual do that and all of us I mean all Terry was saying the other day the true litmus test enough family. Is who if your son or your daughter walked in the door? Like arc in my case, my son walked in with red hair, white woman. Yeah, Girl Hall am I going to feel yeah, well, the truth is it's going to be like what the hell startling my. My head. I have no work around it, but because I. don't look like me. She doesn't look like me. You're and it's going to be the same for you. You're going to you I'm I'm just speaking generally may not be, but generally speaking I think that's just general human nature so in order to be fair. You're going to need to make a conscious effort and just relax and say you know something I'm going to give this person a fair opportunity, and that's what you there's besides I mean that's what you individuals can do. White people can do. Black you can do it, too, but the point is the system is kind of more geared another conversation towards the success of white people. That's just simply the system I hear from other people talking and I'll hear black people talking on TV and some of them are saying otherwise and I say to myself. Are they freaking crazy? Experience, but if you look at question, the majority of people, you're going to see that people that is generally that's the system is made, so you have to recognize that and make a conscious decision as an individual to really be give people a fair chance that's just to grow. Posit is something that we're GonNa have to grow past, because ultimately everyone has preferences and the white impacting. The white is what you're more used to, and that's what you're gonNA feel more comfortable. That's just the truth. Truth Yeah, and I actually love that that story who has told about the teachers because that just goes to prove how unconscious it is, and I think that if what you're saying about, make it conscious, think about what your even your first judgment is, and then fight past it. You know and really get to know whoever it is or give the same opportunities to different races. I think that's a great thing. Another thing that Terry brought up the other day that I just absolutely loved was. Maybe the fear of if we open up if we make this an equal playing field like this scarcity fear, you know like. Maybe there won't be as much for White Americans, and so we instinctually maybe WANNA. Fight off and say no. No, no, no, you gotta keep things away. They are, and you made such a good point because you're like. This is an abundant world. There is so much there's enough for everyone. Can you speak to that a little bit? Yes and I think were that idea comes from again. You know we. We understand that the universe's it is fast and is constantly expanding so there's no lack in the universe. and. In Our world, there's no lack within our. Our world that we live in now, if you. Boil it down, you go into your our country, so we know we live in one of the most abundant countries, the most successful countries in the world. And the idea that there's so much that we all have access to an have an should deserve that we're. In this together like? That goes back to being an American. If if if if it's about America being great, then America's only as great as. The lowest person in the country right as all American if we can expand at allow everyone the grow that the whole country everybody groves. Nobody, no one ever has the exact same thing, but there's no, there's no point. Of A purposely. Shutting Down Avenues of success for certain people so that this other group can have more. When reality there in reality? You're really hurting yourself. Because the less you expand, the less. Less you allow to expanse the less you all expand right. And, so that goes back to the system. Is it a person? Is it a? Particular Person. Whom allows us to happen I? Don't believe so. We're past all that. If the system that's been infiltrated from the top all the way to the bottom that has the scarcity mentality, and that system is running, that is affecting all of us whether we're on one side or the other, or we're black or white. We all are looking at the same system from different points of view, and that abundance view is what we want I think when we see that, and then we see that we're all in collectively have been Kelly look at when there's a crisis. When there's a crisis in a country in a community in this case, we. Were in the crisis right now. But. If if God forbid if in who wants to even think of, don't though the w word of war if this country was involved in a war that we all had was mandating that the apart right. As a country to survive and thrive again, what anyone care what color the person is? That is fighting for the same life that we're trying to protect. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. How do we move from in that moment that these and we've been in those times, and then we come back and we forget. It so. I don't know. But to speak to that Kelly to to add even different dimension you raise idea of US look at yourself as a woman and having to to to kind of sometimes hide that fact, business you look at it from that point of view I think that when we recognize. The fact that when women started to get more opportunity. Throughout the throw not only this country, but really. Over the world, and which is still continuing to go on, is there no allot because men have allowed women to be? Beside them. Expansion got. Every one of us have a value that we can. Everyone of us have a different perspective that we can add and so therefore everyone including white black yellow. All everyone has a value that can contribute to the whole and he can. It's just makes the pie bigger Nicole. No, I think that if we can, but it starts with education, it starts with chains education on both sides education, because even even blocks have a mentality. That block sometime is not good. We sometimes think that something's to you. Look at it. You can feel that way sometimes what so you know we need to understand league black people are. As good or are we, are we? Are we are there's. Not less. In the psyche, you feel you would know no one is less. We're all equal in God's eyes and all have potential, but it starts with from your young from the parents, telling your your children this from the white people telling their white children this from the black people telling their children this, and then they can see it and continue to go, and then and hopefully one day things will be. Be Different but his education changing the psychology of everyone which is going to take time, but the fact of the matter is, it starts with acknowledgement and I. think that that's what is taking place right now. That recognizing not hiding blinding yourself. Oh, there's nothing it is, and he has I heard the cons of two people help. You have to stop talking about racism. She's talking about it won't exist. I believe that things buried alive. Never die, and the point the point is is that was never buried properly? Why still not still living so until we can bury properly than venture? We don't have to talk about racism. We don't have to talk about black and white. Just horrible. The race, the human race you understand that is no whole different subject. Yeah, actually think the conversations are extremely important to have I mean i. that's what I was telling. You guys like I just did not identify with any of that until as kept reading and kept trading and was like wait. I didn't even think about that. My experience being different. I. Do think as a white person. I can say this sometimes. I would like to keep the conversation going, but it's a little scary right now and like we don't know exactly the right thing to say the chance to offend seems extremely high right now, and so it's hard, you know you wanna say something, but then you're like. What do I say so? Is there something that as a white American? We could say in support of a black American right now. What is it that you guys? What is it helpful to hear from us? What lost for first of all I would? Want to say that I'm sorry. That's the case. You, you said what's the right thing to say? I can't I. Don't know what the right thing say. White why? What the right thing is for me to be willing to listen to you, too, i. don't know what you what your point of view is in wide is the point is. I should be willing to listen to your point of view with open mind without a preconceived decision an idea prior so. Why do you have to now think about what you? What's right before? You can say it to me to wonder if I'm GonNa take it right and then. It's it already. It already starts stifled the conversation peering. Yes, I agree having the freedom and right, and will to be able to speak your mind from your point of view, and then we can then begin to see the commonalities more than the differences. I think they'll Kelli, Kelli. That's a valid question though I. What she's saying because no matter east very. You're going to be judged based on what you you're in the social media. You're GonNa on what you pose. What caption you say what you're what? Everyone is looking at everyone right now, so it's very difficult to say it's hard for me to tell you that, too. Because it is after this conversation you posted you. May Your people what is Hell? Is She saying what? You! From my point of view. The everyone has a point of view even within this in our household it. We're four of us in our, so my husband myself. My two boys, and all of us have a different point of view. Same household. Very difficult to to answer that question. All I can say is I. appreciate the fact that we're having the conversation. I appreciate that you have enough courage to even continue or start conversation that speaks and I think that by continuing to do that by continuing to give opportunity to. Black owned businesses. It's a great thing because they don't necessarily have because one of the things is not is a is a lack of resources to the lack of resources lack of access to capital that I could or access to Shuman capital. Which is you? were, blessed to have you in our life, and you as apart I feel best to that, but look black businesses need I. Think I would say from my I like the fact that I have that opportunity and I think by giving more opportunity to people if they have a good quality product that you mean the only thing and give them an opportunity to speak having more of those highlighting or shining on. That, that is what for on a business side. What would work? Patronizing request yes. We're talking about value so. Is when of brought the fact about how black people deal with businesses. If I'M GONNA. Go buy a pair. Nike I can buy it from a in the black neighborhood. I combined invite. While the Tennessee has been that blacks. When they had the funds to do so they would move more towards a wider stores because it made them feel better for some reason to purchase from there well, we're trying to say the value. Is there a both both places will? Why can't it just? Why do we have to have this over looming? Idea that there's something lesser one way or another because see the value. On their own value, their own were what they're going to contribute. Yeah! Well speaking of value I mean you guys have one of my top beauty products and we have been working together for years which I feel blessed about team because I'm obsessed with your. So as a mutually beneficial relationship, but if anyone follows me on Instagram, my instagram's at velvets ads. You hear me talking about this co two mask pretty religiously. I mean especially in quarantine. I've been doing a ton of them. Because I was not able to do any of my other beauty routine that, so it was the best at home. anti-aging skin perfecting moisture building products that I own truly. I would have to agree. We love to hear you talk. Other Times other baby. Baby, yes, and actually Lana and I have done a podcast before talking about the face mask, and also the V mask which I'm going to let you explain both of the products, but tell me a little bit about the business and just give people the back story just so they can understand what this mask does. Show. Yes, okay so the mosque basically is a first delivery system of CO two carbon dioxide to the skin that involves no pain. So, we came upon it. We were introduced to it through the injectables, and we're looking for a way to be able to do this without any pain. And we worked with some scientists had developed this, and we licensed the PAT, the license that technology and we use it in the co two so on the face, and the the upstairs downstairs will. Take. Take care. All of them and we're very happy were very happy to have a lot of science behind all the clinical show there, so yes, and like yourself Kelly. I was doing a lot of the two. Because I was kind of in side. My home was able to go out and get the procedures to the matter is the seal to lift mosque is just as effective as doing a laser, or any kind lays or radiofrequency the skin. It's tightening. The scan is building Collagen, but it's also one of the key things to that. That's not able to do its hydrating skin. Yeah, which is very important in youth. You know my favorite quote when it comes to that you don't get old. You dry up and this is a way you know. We can drink water a gallon of volatile every day, which is actually good for our bodies, but it's not necessarily hydrating our skin on our face. So this is like an IV. For the face, if you WANNA, keep looking firm your skin full of water. Definitely, the coach you'll live mask is the way it's the simplest most effective way to do that and most affordable way yet for the go and. To say I love your analogy because to me, this is exactly what's Ha-. What happens to my face every time I do this, but you talk about how it's like. If you want a great dries up, it looks like a raisin and you know my skin can start to look like that. It can just look dry and Dole, and then I'll do the mask and I think your description of it. Turning back into a plump grape is the perfect example of exactly what happened, so I always tell that people that win, but go ahead. We're GONNA talk about the mask and ended the Vietnam and my my husband's here is one of the best things that we've had in our relations. either. Because it has. Well, you know it has what it has done. It just brings back attention to something that using a very sacred act in sacred way, and it brings back focus and enjoyment in a very D- just like when you were in. When you're in your twenties, it brings out back so it makes that part of an intimate relationship very enjoyable very. Very meaningful and and it's it's done is a simply as doing it in in the privacy of your home, so you know for, don't have to have something wrong with it. It just it just as much as you take care of your skin on your face. It's it's it's you take care of their. You're preventing things that will happen as you get older. Of, which is which is really decreased. Lubrication decree sensitivity laxity those things with co to lift the. You can get that back, so women who have had children. are going through paramount oposite Menopausal at your. Just medication can affect that area this very effective and quickly will bring it back to you know useful functionality, right and I know. Yeah. A lot of my friends have had kids, and they are like do I need to do? Re vaginal rejuvenation. You know like all of these things go through our minds, and our bodies change so much so I. Actually have this on my list of things to try I'm very excited about it I'm sure my boyfriend will be, too. Very much very much, so so if you I mean definitely, that is an area that I think that's another. And that's how we know is not a perceivable right. It's Kinda yourself. Right but the the your partner will notice the difference any. Yeah, that's interesting. Interesting. That's. Outside of his experience yet. He experienced it right so good for everyone. Actually? We've worked together so long. I have a code because they are so kind to give us fifteen percents off of all their mask, and it's V. E. Fifteen, so make sure if you do go to their website to put that in at checkout to get that fifteen percent off. Where else can people find you guys? Well really. It's CEO. LIFT DOT com. Okay Oh to lift dot, com is where you're gonNA find. Even an even providers who want to definitely carrying their practice when they go to co to lift you have for professional section. Sarah, okay great you can find, you can find information on the the mask off for the face the one for the vagina on. Restoration and another product that is well other products that are there, but also likes to give a shout out to the The Co two lifts car boxy Moose. which is like if you think about daily conditioner for your hair? With that, and then the seal to lift mass is like a deep conditioner, so the most the most is very effective effective as a daily use. Keep your skin hydrated as well as MOISTURIZER and it it blocks pigmentation as well. Oh, that's good to know I. Always think when I think of you guys I just think moisture moisture moisture, so if anyone out there is struggling with, scan your spilling. Hair, everything vagina rejuvenation else. This is your product. V Fifteen is the code. Lana Terry thank you guys for doing this. I mean I think all of us were like. We don't know if we want to have this conversation, but I'm really glad that we did. I feel like it's been very helpful to me and I. Hope For all the listening that We keep having these conversations at his really grateful for you guys for being here today. I really really appreciate you having US Kelly I really appreciate you as a person. What you do and I like. Your pod got the information you put out so and just even for working with us on with with the the products as well so thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you as well for having the conversation as uncomfortable as it can be times, but it's it's something we're forced to look at so. Let's do our best to grow path this and keep being more inclusive. and. Keep expanding everything and the other thing. I, WanNa, be clear. And I. Hope you're on your listeners understands at. You've been working with US long before this. Long many companies just like yours, so they're many of us. We're more like minded than we're not. Sometimes a medium things we see. We highlight where we see the opposite. Back this we are closer than we're. We're apart. Love that that is so true because we've been shows laws for years now and. I said it's one of my very favorite breed. Beauty Products I will always support you guys. Again thanks for being here and thank you guys so much for listening. Let's keep these conversations going. Looking our best means taking time for renewal including skin renewal, but anti-aging retinol can be so harsh. Narrating will birds, bees has found nature's gentle yet powerful retinol alternative Makuuchi all and made it the key ingredient in their birds, bees, renewal skincare line, which includes a firming moisturizing cream, a refining cleanser and more all formulated without parabens violates S. L. S. and Petra Latam go to bird species dot com slash renewal and take time for renewal today hi guys Katie. Katie lowes here. Actress, mom and host of the parenting podcast Katie's CRIP. A show that helps women navigate colossal changes that come with motherhood. You'll hear from resilient Mama's knowledgeable experts and me asking a whole lot of questions, it's real talk that offers real perspective on what it's really like to be a parent, so join me new episodes published every other. Thursday listened to Katie's crib on the iheartradio APP or on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Platonic, Until Death Do Us Part | With John Cameron Mitchell

Modern Love

22:48 min | 1 year ago

Platonic, Until Death Do Us Part | With John Cameron Mitchell

"Modern love the podcast supported by xfinity. Some things are hard to control. Other things are easy. Like you're in home wifi with xfinity, X fi, you can set a wifi curfew change your password, and create user profiles all with the x fi app. Another reason why xfinity is simple easy. Awesome go online. Call one eight hundred xfinity or visit a store to learn more restrictions apply. Need to unwind a bit kind world is here? Termi- job at all. That's good with a world with stories about transformative acts of kindness. Tune into new episodes, every Tuesday to add some positivity to your life. Subscribe now on podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Produced by the island at you are Boston. From the New York Times, and WBU are Boston. This is modern law. Stories of love loss and redemption. I'm your host. Meghna chakrabarti. last week. Our team brought a live performance of the modern love podcast to the province town film festival in province town, Massachusetts. John. Cameron Mitchell joined us for the performance, he created directed and starred in Hedwig and the angry inch his new musical podcast is called anthem. Hunky Lous here. He is reading EFI stempler's essay platonic until death do us part. Recently. I stumbled across an article about Stephen all jury the man behind the hours and Billy Elliot, who's openly gay and married. His longtime friend, a woman and a director in her own right? Names, Lucy Sexton. Now, Stephen now fifty five married, Lucy of forty one because he wanted to have an raise a child and have health insurance. According to him, their relationship is not, and never was romantic. It's a marriage rooted in practicality. How fiddler on the roof? I thought. And my next thought, how sad another gay, man who can't fully accept himself. I recall the Hollywood films. I've seen about these men and their surrogate partners in how in the end the guy gets the guy the girl learns her lesson and the credits roll to some terrible Motown remake. I also thought about my gay friends with their husbands of twenty plus years. And the unsolicited advice they often give to me about my own relationship future. Don't get too comfortable with her. They're talking about Maria. We've been best friends for almost seventeen years, having met at a party in New York City when we were twenty four I was supposed to see if she was interested in my less courageous straight friend, a guy I had idolized in high school. Instead, I ended up bogeying with her and sparring wits for hours or minutes. I'll never know she gave me your number on a napkin closed. My hand around look to me in the eyes and said used this number. I'm serious. Don't throw this away. A week later. We bought tickets to Hawaii. For y two k. A few months after that we became roommates, the roommate thing, only lasted about a year since Marissa, unlike me, had no problem finding men today long-term and eventually move in with. She ended up having two sons with different dads, even married one. But none of our relationships would last more than a handful of years. Maybe because no one else in the world could understand us entertain us and inspire us as much as we could. Eventually, I began to wonder if the strength of our friendship was the thing, undermining our romantic relationships. Countless self-help books on our respective. Nightstands counseled us to break free from our toxic patterns if we wanted to find lasting love. But what if our toxic pattern was how well we got along, and how much we loved each other Marissa's rejected. Mytalk -sity hypothesis insisting that we both had other friends in passions lives that were enhanced not dominated by how close, we were I tried to believe her, but it became harder and harder to accept as the years passed. I was still the guy alone of the holiday parties and alone in my bed, or the random beds of others. I'd met online, or in bars ever, the analyst, I grew concerned that we were dictated to the sugar that was our dynamic in order to avoid the protein of true intimacy. During Christmas with their family. I would flee to where her baby was sleeping, and pummel, myself with questions was was I with Marissa because I was too lazy scared to put enough effort into finding a partner. Where we using each other as place. Holders was I- frayed to grow up and love myself as a gay man, was, I just broken too many questions to answer in front of a baby monitor. At thirty seven I decided to leave New York and Marissa the two things that seem to keep me stuck in boyhood and left my job as a high school teacher, moved to Thailand to teach ESL, live cheaply, and get the space I needed to figure myself out and meditated with monks, and cried on motorbikes began to see that. I was more stuck than I had every even thought. I had no idea who I was without my old, crutches Maria. My various dating apps, and my romantic delusions. It was a lonely time every friendship, I made was a faint shadow of the magnificent supernova. That was my relationship with Marissa the dudes I met were increasingly increasingly older and hearted after their own years of romantic frustration after more than a year abroad, I followed some gluten free breadcrumbs to San Francisco when I told him Orissa where I was headed. She surprised me by saying she had been planning to move to the bay area as well. I was slightly worried about my being in the same city as her again. But it seemed to me that it's the sixteen months away from each other had renewed our mutual appreciation and made our friendship healthier. I was relieved to hear. She was moving to Oakland across the bay from me in San Francisco, seemed like a good compromise to have her in my everyday life again. But not every day. For a while. I felt encouraged I'd made it to the gay mecca nothing would stop me from finding my bearded other half now but if you wanna make God laugh make an okay. Cupid profile. I went on dates with meditators sex dates with poly-amorous friends dates that turned into sex dates with married. Men and myriad, unremarkable dates with both nice guys and jerks. None of them lead anywhere. Melissa had no luck either. Turns out your problems follow. You go figure then I turned forty and I find myself in a state of crisis since being told at eighteen that was clinically depressed. I faced many dark moments in my adulthood, a handful of which made me crash land for months or even years with one relative or another. Suddenly found myself again saying this was not part of the plan conveniently forgetting that I was never really in a plan to begin with. I couldn't move back in with my parents or siblings. At this point. So ask Marisa, if I could stay with her for a while. It was yet another humbling moment in my life sleeping on her. So a while her two little boys, tried to get to the candy in uncalled Efi's, prescription bottles. I felt Laden with shame trying to figure out how it become that low functioning middle aged clown. You see on sitcoms the hairy interloping barnacle with an affinity for couches the big you Asli gay on call or gun CLE with a perpetual, five o'clock shadow, an inappropriate joke, who led the gunk allowed, I would sing to Marissa's two year old who would just stare at me. Blankly. Thanks to GlaxoSmithKline. I recovered quickly. After three months, I was ready to launch again. And then a funny thing happened Maria found a house in Berkeley with a yard, a tree house, and a two room unit in the back, she told me that her she and her boyfriend at the time were parting ways she hoped I would consider being her long-term, flatmate, gung coal in the attic, I hissed no way for once in my life. I need to be an independent gay man. She rolled her eyes relaxed. Donna mills can be an independent game with people who love you stop seeing yourself as the sad gunk, and you won't be the set gunk Cole. I could argue at that. So I said, yes, of course, I plotted my next escape at the very hint of a challenge. But after a while I began to do something that never done before something that ran against every fiber of my angsty angsty mystery I allowed myself to be comfortable. My relationship with the murders. Have reached yet another level of love and respect. After sixteen years as best friends and occasional roommates, we have become something else, something that doesn't seem to have a name, we joked that we are each other's PL p's platonic life partners. And recall the promise, we made in our twenties, if neither of us finds a husband by forty let's get married. If only for the registry. We're now both forty the same age as Stephen Daldry when he married his best friend. And we're both wondering what if he had it, right? After all the couples that I consider the happiest mostly gay men who opened up their relationships decades ago are not lovers as much as best friends. They know who should do the cooking, and the dishwashing talk about their latest flings and support each other's biggest dreams, they get over fights fast, give each other prodigious amounts of space. They've been John, Katy Perry when no one else's looking. They shared a static and a language history that gives them strength to go on I have all that, with my best friend, and maybe the closest approximation of real love either of us will ever experience. And if the biggest concession is having separate beds will find I snore. Georgia revenge. And he read EFI stempler's essay platonic until death do us part. So what was it about this piece that you especially liked will I in my podcast musical anthem actually, I went back to my high school reunion? For the first time in thirty five years, and to a very small school. There were just six people who came for the reunion and to them were my girlfriend's from, from junior, high school, one was a lesbian, you know, and happily married with a kid and the other had child as well. And she'd gone through the navy and. Her name was Yvonne. And I wrote a character based on her called the vet who. Mike character has a brain tumor and he's doing a telethon to raise money to get it out on his phone to an app based telephone as we will all be doing. And you know. His life has flashing before his eyes and his ex girlfriend calls in, and we have a long conversation, and we remember the song we used to dance to which we wrote for the piece, which is called the lyrics go love me little, but love me long. I'm noncommittal, but what's so wrong with that? And it's about the old fashioned gay marriage. You know. Fag and fag, hag the marriage that lasts. Nc becomes uncomfortable. With me saying, let's get married. You can I can get on your healthcare. You know. It's a painful scene, but it's also very real one and. You know it can happen in any incarnation. You know, the, the gay woman, the straight guy the, the gay guy, the gay woman, not necessarily the, the sexual partners. But in every other way, perhaps of a more stable relationship, John Cameron Mitchell. Thank you. Thanks a lot. Thanks again, to John Cameron Mitchell for his performance will catch up with EFI Stempler and Marija after the break. Modern love supported by xfinity. Some things are hard to control like over caffeinated co workers other things are easy to control. Like you're in home wifi with xfinity, X fi, set wifi curfew, change your password, and create user profiles over the x fi app. Another reason why xfinity is simple easy. Awesome go online. Call one eight hundred xfinity or visit a store to learn more. Restrictions apply. FU stempler's essay was published in two thousand sixteen. Not long after he left the bay area, and moved to Los Angeles to get his MFA in screenwriting at the American Film Institute and just this month. He graduated Maria came to the graduation, and we asked her to join EFI in studio. Efi says that in some ways their decision to live in different cities, was about growing up, writing the essay was a way of me holding on to something that was disappearing. Very quickly and not to say the love, I don't think the love was disappearing but the shape of our friendship was changing, and I was holding onto the old shape of it. This really kind of pop the bubble of, frankly, allusion that I had about men Marissa's mercy. Didn't have that she never wanted to marry me, and I never wanted to marry her really, it was more like I was living with her. It was this very dreamy existence. She found this amazing place in Berkeley, and I just wanted it to be like that forever. When this came out, I realized somewhat painfully that we would always be friends, of course, but that she would eventually find the partner that she was always dreaming about. I and I would have to continue working on my own dreams. Which I didn't realize that the time involved writing and involve moving to Los Angeles and involve putting a lot on the line. Since this essay was published Melissa has found the strong relationship she was looking for and EFI is pursuing a new career. I wanted a real career didn't want to dream of things in shitty jobs. I wanted a real family. Even if it was just me and some plants. I wanted it to be mind, though. I didn't wanna feel like I was attaching myself to somebody else's dream, and I actually do want a life partner. I'm open if anyone's out there, still available and Marissa thinks her relationship with EFI is even stronger now. I think we've really struck balance this beautiful. This beautiful ability to be there for each other, and also understanding that at the end of the day were, we're on these solo journeys no one can do it for you. Not even your best friend, twenty years, although their lives have gone in different directions. Efi. And Marissa have matching tattoos that EFI designed to honor their platonic life partnership. So looks like a a soft pretzel missing one of its legs on the bottom. I just looked at it. And we saw that he had figured out how to get a P and L in a p into this heart twisty, little heart shape, and it was just so perfect that we knew, so that's it. We're getting it tomorrow, tomorrow morning. And they're still thinking about how to commemorate recent milestone, the twentieth anniversary of their friendship. Now we're in. We're in talks. Talk taking suggestions for tropical getaways. We'd like to go away for a few days and really, I think it would be really meaningful and important for us to commemorate where we've been and where we are today. And in a way, I see us, especially f e graduating and both of us in barking on new chapters personally that we are entering a new phase. It'd be really nice to kind of metaphorically hold hands and walk into the sunset together. That's EFI Stempler and. Marissa's Belcher, Efi's recently written, a film, that's based in part on his essay, it's called gunk more after the break. Hey, it's been an Ameri, and we're the hosts of endless thread, the show, featuring stories found on the website, read it but you don't have to be a Reddit or to enjoy the kinds of stories. We tell like a couple experimenting with non monogamy or boredom that may have predicted the attacks on Pearl Harbor. Subscribe to endless threat on apple podcasts or wherever you listen. Here's Daniel Jones editor of the modern love column for the New York Times. I'm most curious about people trying to figure out how to live their life, according to expectations and, and in every case, you know, he struggles over and over in romantic relationships. But he's got this incredibly strong platonic relationship, and yet it feels like it's something you can't yield to, you know, it feels like giving into it is giving up on what kind of relationship you're meant to have. And then at the end of this essay anyway, he does yield to it, you know, they decide to become roommates and still pursue other relationships. I just think it's an interesting essay in looking at expectations for life. And when is that point where you decide those experts Asians are not what my life has meant to be? I thought that's what my life was meant to be. But maybe my life is meant to be something else, sort of yielding to that. And. Accepting the sort of blessings that you do have in your life. Next week, Zachary Quinto the dog must have sensed my vacation because suddenly at a moment when I wasn't holding her leash properly. What did I know about holding the leash? She ran from us down a winding road that led to the Long Island expressway, it was horrifying. How did those stubby legs carry her so fast? Ira chased her running in the middle of the road faster than I've ever seen him run. Hello appealed. I need help get the car. Modern love is a production of the New York Times and WB. You are Boston's NPR station. It's produced directed and edited by Caitlyn kief original scoring and sound design by Matt read, thanks to Lisa viola and the whole team at the province town film festival and to musicians Roxanne Layton, and Peter Tuzi, the idea for the modern love podcast was conceived by Lisa Tobin iris Adler is our executive producer. Daniel Jones is the editor of modern love for the New York Times and buys her to the show. Additional thanks to Julia Simon on your strength and meal Lee at the New York Times additional music, courtesy of APM, I'm Meghna Chakrabarti. See you next week. Modern love if the ported by xfinity some things are hard to control, like over caffeinated workers other things are easy to control. Like you're in home wifi with xfinity, X fi, set wifi curfew, change your password, and create user profiles over the x fi at another reason, why xfinity is simple easy. Awesome go online. Call one eight hundred xfinity or visit a store to learn more. Restrictions apply.

Marissa EFI stempler xfinity EFI Maria John Cameron Mitchell New York Times Boston partner Massachusetts Melissa Efi Stephen Cameron Mitchell Berkeley New York City Hunky Lous Meghna chakrabarti. Termi
What Luck Means Now | With Jacki Weaver

Modern Love

24:23 min | 1 year ago

What Luck Means Now | With Jacki Weaver

"Modern love the podcast supported by xfinity. Some things are hard to control. Other things are easy. Like you're in home wifi with xfinity, X fi, you can set a wifi curfew change your password, and create user profiles all with the x fi app. Another reason why xfinity is simple easy. Awesome go online. Call one eight hundred xfinity or visit a store to learn more restrictions apply. Need to unwind a bit kind world is here? Termi- job at all. That's good with a world with stories about transformative acts of kindness. Tune into new episodes, every Tuesday to add some positivity to your life. Subscribe now on podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Produced by the island at you are Boston. From the New York Times, and WBU are Boston. This is modern law. Stories of love loss and redemption. I'm your host. Meghna. Jacker bardi. Does luck mean to you? And does that change depending on your circumstances? That's what Joyce Maynard writes about in this week's essay, it's read by Jackie Weaver, who's been nominated for a kademi awards for her work in silver, linings playbook and animal kingdom. You can see Jackie this summer in the new series. Perpetual, grace limited on epix. The room where else spend the day if I'm lucky is fluorescent lit lined with hod plastic Jays and has a reminder on the wo- concerning the importance of hand sanitizer, though. Friends offered to accompany me, I'm here alone. On the opposite side, a family has gathered a man in his early sixties like me and four young people around the ages of my children. They're engaged in. Cheerful sounding small talk about their jobs. The Red Sox as for me. I don't feel like talking to anyone. I ride a little after six AM after kissing, my husband goodbye before they will him into surgery. The surgery is expected to take twelve is though, somewhere around us three, the surgeon will have gotten to the place in gyms abdomen where he can see the Tuma known to us, only as an innocuous, looking gray area on Jim C T scans. Sometimes this turns out to be the moment when the surgeon discovers, the Juma is not operable after all in which case they stitch everything up and say, we tried. The two met in question. I haven't allowed myself to call it gyms to. I don't want to see him. Take ownership is two point five. Centimeters in the Hammida located in the head of gyms. Pancreas. The my husband survive to have shot that survival, this Touma must come out. The operation calls for the removal of part of gyms anxious. He's gold data is due Edina and pots his small intestine, and stomach. Pitch gutting, a fish GM, a fly fisherman said to a friend, that's roughly the idea. It's all to save an operation this, that a person is lucky to be receiving it. But Jim Naidoo feel lucky. Seven months earlier when we went to the doctor anticipating Goldstein's, we learned that Yuma was probably not purple. This is surgery that gives you a shot. Jim's Dr Toda's shot just that. But suddenly a shot was everything. It's called the Whipple procedure. From that moment, our focus had become shrinking the Tuma to wedge, Jim could get the Whipple. And after eight rounds of chemotherapy and two of radiation. The day has come. The Whipple is brutal surgery in the best of circumstances. The best being a strange phrased employ, when discussing a form of cancer with two years of I will rate of around five percent. Don't Google it. They told us that first day, but we did. The day we learned the news, just fifteen months had paused since our wedding on a New Hampshire hillside, with friends and children, gathered fireworks exploding and a band backing us up as we performed a duet. On a John prime song and talked about the trips we would take the olive trees, we would plant each of us had been divorced. Almost twenty five years, how lucky everyone said that we'd found each other when we did now luck means having this operation. In four hours. Luck will mean getting a call from a nurse. Who says they've reached the Tuma they're going in for it. I have a book, but I keep reading the same sentence on the other side of the room. The father and the four young people around repping, sandwiches, and laughing. The twentysomethings at telling funny stories about their mother, if not for the institutional decor. You might think they're enjoying family reunion. My children in gyms. No. When Neha on three thousand miles from home. In those terrible weeks off to the diagnosis, I lived with the phone on either rea- calling hospitals and researching treatments that might offer. What the first Dr not the possibility of a future when a program looked promising. We got on the plane it was in this city at this hospital where we found the surgeon who said. I believe I can get your husband's Juma out. Not even eighteen hours earlier. We Mark this moment with day game at Fenway park. Enough. Would we celebrated the Red Sox win with oysters and multi Jim Boorda cap bold for many months? His hair was back. He was thin. But handsome, it was about two years before that Jimmy dos to marry him on the deck. If he's Oakland California home with a couple of martinis and a plate of voices. Never a skillful liar. He pointed me toward a particular or ister and suggested I try it tucked into the shell. A diamond ring. I had been single for twenty four years just putting that ring on my finger, feld odd almost embarrassing. As later, it would be difficult to say my husband Orford selfishness Jim's wife to me, marriage meant trouble. Failure pain. Why risk that again, only I did we bought a house made big plans? Then came the diagnosis. I think it was then not the day of our wedding, when the words, wife and husband entered my vocabulary, the first time I could speak them without awkwardness. They slipped into my speech over the weeks and months, I spent navigating a will of cancer treatment searching for the bobbing scrap of hope in an ocean of trouble drug trials. Immunotherapy extreme diets. I express mile dos Ganz to syllogies as far away, as Germany, and when we would told the next point with three months out I said my husband needs to see the doctor now. My husband. It some point I realized I no longer spoke of gyms treatment, or Jim scan. We are on full fear in Knox. Now, I would say, we're getting cyber knife radiation, and then we trank the Tuma by fifty percent. We are getting surgery. The us after my divorce I'd called myself a solo operator, but I had longed for big romance. And with Jim I found it. The summer after we met. We saw nineteen eighty two Chrysler lebaron convertible on Craigslist in Maine and bought it, then flew from California to pick it up. For the first time in thirty eight years of practicing. Jim took the summer off. We put four thousand miles on that convertible. Mostly on New England back roads. We ate lobster rows and danced and talked about riding Jim's motorcycle across the country. Allie? Mcgraw earn Ryan O'Neal might have made it look, otherwise, but cancer is not romantic. Always Elaine, man. Jim dropped thirty pounds. I headed by the way he dressed conservative, but shop. Now he wore his suit like David Boon in the talking heads video of us. When it looked as if a recurrent C difficile infection might kill him. He was down to one hundred eight pounds and dropping, I persuaded him to have a fecal transplant Dona me. He had been since the teen Abass player of rock and roll guy. Also an eagle scout. I love that about him now as the chemo eight away at him and his triumph gather dust. It seemed important that he playing. So one day I made pie for the whole band, and their wives. But the morning of the party, the neuropathy kicked in from the chemo, leaving Jim's fingers numb, unable to play that night, I stood at the edge of silent yard and dumped five pounds of seafood. No roken role that day or that season all the one that followed. In the waiting room, the family across from me, had brought in food for dinner, the just opening this styrofoam containers. When a woman approaches Benz to speak with the father a hand on his showed the daughter leans in and the sun and the two others. I realize must be their partners. Suddenly, the room spinning the food drops to the floor. The father, just sits there, hands to his face shaking his head, but the children weeping, and then wailing someone stands staggers drops to the floor. They all Russia food, represent bags abandoned. It can happen. That's whiskey the end of life as we know it. Then two time can creep so slowly, even a minute seems. It's close to midnight when the surgeon calls. This was the toughest Whipple. I ever performed. He says. They got the Tuma and took Surti eight, lymph nodes. It will be another few days before the pathology report. But things look good in the recovery room. I find the bid with Jim in it, though. He's much changed from the person. I met to north even four years earlier on a match com date at a restaurant in Marin County, California, where I kept waiting for him to suggest that we order something, but he never did later, he explained. I was just so no top by you forgot. There are two coming out of him his eyes closed mouth open. He looks a hundred years old, but he's alive. I'm his wife, I told us and take my place by the bit. Jacki Weaver, reading Joyce, Maynard's essay, what luck means now. We'll hear more from Joyce after the break. modern love is supported by xfinity. Some things are hard to control like over caffeinated co workers. Other things are easy to control. Like you're in home wifi with xfinity X by wifi curfew change password user profiles over the x fi at another reason, why xfinity is simple easy. Awesome go online. Call one eight hundred fifty or visit a store to learn more restrictions apply. Gyms. Whipple procedure took place in the summer of two thousand fifteen and for a while it felt like victory for both Jim and Joyce. There was this joyful triumphant moment when Jimmy merged from the surgery and the surgeon said to us, this was a success. This was a great surgery, a success for surgeon is very different in this case from success for the patient, he did a really good job. And we were you for it. But that wasn't the end of the story. My husband was not really out of pain from that moment on, we went back home to California and did all the things that you do had more chemo. But. The cancer came back and almost just over a year year and a week from the date of the surgery in our bed at home. Jim took his last breath. I don't need to say that I notice of cancer like this is spectacularly bad luck. For a man that I consider young man. He was sixty two when he when he was diagnosed, but having said that I feel so lucky. To have had him in my life. To have known him and even to have walked this pass. I knew him I knew him. And he knew me and some of us go through our whole life, not being known and I carry that with me, it's a, it's a huge gift. Joyce says that after Jim died she started thinking about how to spend the rest of her life. One of her regrets was dropping out of college decision. She'd made not long after writing a long piece for the New York Times magazine in nineteen seventy two it was called an eighteen year old looks back on life and the issue was published with Joyce's photo on the cover. From that moment on my life changed within a day, there were a thousand pieces of mail delivered to my Yale dormitory room. And in among those letters was one completely different from all the others, which was a letter, just basically saying, I have a lot of action for that piece that you wrote, I think you're real writer. And I know thing or two about the perils of early success. And I urge you to be careful you will be exploited and the letter was signed by j d Salinger. Yes. The same JD Salinger that was the famous and reclusive, author of catcher in the rye Joyce, and Salinger started writing to one another not long, after she gave up her scholarship to Yale to go and live with him in New Hampshire. He was thirty five years older than she was. I didn't know what being in love wise. I had never been in love what it was for me was religion. I was his follower. And whatever he said, I believed. Must do it was an extremely painful year and ultimately around just about exactly a year after he'd I written to me. He sent me away in a pretty painful way that relationship ended but Joyce went on to write more than a dozen books, Mary and have three children. And she says that despite her regret over leaving Yale, she never thought she would go back. I was carrying on with my life. I was working very hard. I was putting three children through college and. Engine died. And suddenly, the thing that had seemed so far, fetched and unimaginable seemed like a real possibility. So coming back to Yale, forty seven years later was hugely symbolic for me, I had unfinished business, and it was honoring my own dreams my own goals, and being my own person. Not fashioning myself into who a man, however great told me I should be Joyce is arising junior now and she spends a lot of time biking through campus in New Haven. I ride past the Yale school every day. And it is a moment when I sometimes actually speak aloud to my husband and just say, oh, Jimmy. Look at me now. How I wish you were here. That's Joyce, Maynard, her many books include the memoirs, the best of us and at home in the world. More after this. The fact that in two thousand nineteen where having this debate about measles, vaccine, makes my head want to explode, which is tennis. Strange really strange place in the only people speaking up the parents, endless thread, the podcast from WBU are Boston's NPR station and read it brings you a special series on the history of vaccines in antibac- Sers, subscribe on apple podcasts, or wherever you listen. Here's Daniel Jones editor of the modern love column for the New York Times, what struck me in this essay is this constantly shifting definition of luck and how we define our lives as being lucky. And does that mean that things break our way and that we're happy and healthy? Well, then what is luck if illness? Drake's how do you define how do you call yourselves lucky? Then it's appreciating sort of love that you share and what brought you together, and what's going to keep you together in this case until the end and, and how if if the relationship is a good one, you're inclined to think of yourselves as lucky. So it was just it was an interesting sort of meditation on the word luck and how we use it and how powerful it can be. And here's Jacki Weaver on why she chose to read this essay. I chose this one I was of the north. Why did I do? I kind of identifying a bit because I had a release series operation myself, only about twelve months ago. Cedars-sinai saving our brazen. Five incisions in my and my husband set in Cedars-Sinai fo twelve hours, unless it's the same kind of deal, and also the family collapsing in, in the waiting room. That's exactly what happened to my brother and my father, and I win my mother's sudden dot in an operating theatre so so identified with that. When you get to a certain age, you've experienced just about all of it. Next week. William Jackson Harper. Nate was my break-up buddy. We were introduced at scruffy Murphy's Irish bar by mutual friend who thought we'd like each other. And I liked Nate instantly is tight crewcut in animated features. He seemed transplanted from another generation, you can easily magin him as a bit player in fifties war movie, getting out lines like, hey, Sarge over here. He's on a whole or shot me mom bleeding. Modern love is a production of the New York Times, and you are Boston's NPR station. It's produced directed and edited by Caitlyn O'Keefe original scoring and sound design by Matt read, iris Adler is our executive producer. Daniel Jones is the editor of modern love for the New York Times and adviser to the show special. Thanks to Smith Hennig on your streaming and mealy at the New York Times the idea for the modern love podcast was conceived by Lisa Tobin additional music, courtesy of a PM magnitude Cardi see you next week.

Jim Joyce Maynard Tuma Jackie Weaver xfinity California New York Times Jimmy dos Boston Red Sox Juma chemo Jim Naidoo Jim scan Jim I Termi Fenway park Jim C T New England
AKA Sorry Face: JonesCast S3E6

Capes and Lunatics

30:04 min | 11 months ago

AKA Sorry Face: JonesCast S3E6

"This episode of Capes and lunatics is brought to you by tweaked audio awesome headphones good at tweaked audio dot com and use the coupon code southgate to get thirty percent off free shipping and a lifetime warranty where he can get there through the link on our website Southgate Media Group Dot com and it's and it's John elway really WanNa be off. Hey Graham Termi professor esser with me as always is my skinny rich friend. It's MAS. Hey so glad you're here for quality tonight. We are once again in in the final season of Jessica. Down Season Three Episode Six Aka sorry face as the police shit sipped who the Gruesome Crime Scene Jessica and Tricia race defined cylinders latest captive Tim Yucca final Is there director this week. Bryan Michael Bender and Michael Gaydos are gonNA marvel created buys Jesse Harris. It's written by Jedi. Hope and Jamie King are Bo story editing the crap out of this episode so and Melissa Rosenberg gets of course that created by credit Jamie keen portion of the show or it's working minute showbusiness okay. Oh Aw man this. Oh it's it's a lot it's a lot this is a heavy. This is heavy stuff and man. Oh that guy that that that that's what salinger the fool. He's such a fool killer. Why is he still alive from fun. Of course we open up and you know you get this. This sort of I guess what we can say is essentially the the the the constant problem. We're going to be facing with getting salinger which is that in order for Jessica to protect other people. She can't build the case you know and that is that is the thing because of course you know Salinger against away they she finds all the body parts that he led him lead them to but you know at the end of the day. There's nothing that they can do because they say what what. You're you say. This guy was here and now he's gone unless we can have asked after evidence that ties to this branch. It's nothing but then he had this plan long ago. I mean he was ready to walk away from any of these things completely clean he was that careful well and he was careful enough even to not just get rid of the album but replaced the photos and not just replace the photos but replaced the photos with good photos that were believable that photographer would have in the detective says because he's easing press so it's not like there wouldn't ferris by somebody they are photos that would be cherished by somebody so he went a long way to build a narrative around it that make sense well he he clearly prides himself you know and being Batman you know already serving net plan always thinking that I had. I don't know if you really does that but he he does a lot of something and you know it's it's interesting expressly because literally it is the fact that the only the reason he gets to keep on going is because Jessica is choosing not to be the bead vigilant is choosing not to be the person that she could be right and and when he says you know somebody else's or the supers are cheating all he means. They're not allowing me to cheat well. Exactly I mean well. I mean this is the thing about this has got. He has kind of transparent at the end of the day. You know here's kind of transparent that there is so much. It's not even an you know what the job is not even that that he feels he would be. You know it's not it's not just lex. Luther ISM can argue that yet world without Superman lex Alexa or would be superman. Essentially this guy just thinks anyone who's gotten ahead of them passed to have cheated. I I you know when he talks about his brother and it's like well. You know he just you know he had he wasn't smart. He didn't have any of these things you know and and dismisses dismisses anyone who might have achievement who is right you know he's he's he's a bad person. Right is actually a very bad person. as we start at the end of the blast episode he does he does capture. Eric and he takes him to a commercial kitchen because as he says you know normally would do this private homes sitting but you don't have that kind of place you know his he's he's homeless well. He lives in a rented room. You know and you know. He is any trying to figure out you know so. How did you know and he gets all excited when he realizes my simple power of righteousness is hurting you. It's like no you're. You're an evil evil piece of nothing in that you are so painful to be around and and I do like that because it does emphasize as part of this story the limitations you know basically the old you know. Superpowers Towers are curse. You know you think that these are great and wonderful folk but you know what not for nothing you know kilbride they would've had no interest in Jessica if she were not a superhero. you know that that this puts you in situations. Sion's that make life so much worse right and the fact of the matter is is that Jessica is a good enough detective. That doc left her own devices. She probably would have caught far more people if she was not trying to protect other people right bryce because that's that's the thing even after they do and the whole track and and that's one of the things. I gotta say this is. I love the Gumshoe work work. You know I'd love how much work and effort they put in and also showcasing it. You know one of the things a lot of people say a lot of people talk about is that when they re bettman books they get upset because he never doesn't need detective work right right. You know it just goes there and he beats up people you know he's he's prepared and he's got all these gadgets these things you know. He's never just tracking something down that you know to see to see what we can find. You know where to see how how do prove surfing never tries to prove any and you know Jessica. She ride they've sort of relegated yeah they've sort of relegated that part of his personality howdy into going into creating the coolest gadgets to hurt people with as opposed to creating techniques to discover hidden things yeah exactly and and and and I don't mean to be done on that man is a Greek buck right right for decades. You can't really fault it but I do love and for for that estimate. I love any good detective stories. This is a good detective story. Were they realize okay. This guy cleaned all the body parts. We can't we we yeah we identified all all the body parts all seven all seven people they belong to whether eight people that I know he he addictive and yeah and the guy says once you give me your mind less and he's like you know he's like Jones. Does that whole big. Welcome then casually drops the list of names for right now because I mean the other office was there and he can't be seen as colluding with Vigilante Celente but at the same time he knows what the side of good is well yeah and never nothing. It's everyone everyone saw that. That's what I'm going to say everyone. What's that and what we saw it. I don't know if that that that they're saying hey. You got to take a look. She was ahead of him so I. I don't know if she caught it anyway. It's anything spots but I did love that scene. I love the way that it played out. This is his own. Cya You know so just to make sure that he is he is covered but at the same time I mean like I really I really liked that aspect today and then they realize okay. This is the one one person that we can't identify this is who is this person and then of course she has to you know then you know get into mouth mature it man. I. I love Malcolm Story in this whole thing because it is just trying to decide. What do I want to be and you know what's great. Is that the short answer. There is not necessarily. He wants to be a good person. It's just that he doesn't want to be helping evil. You know it's like he's. He's you you know. He is not a sweet summer child. He knows the world is a mess and he is not above dealing with the darkness of reality and even his own darkness when he goes beats up the you know gets revenge for beating him and then of course what I love best about that scene you know so you know where because of course does does that happens after she comes to comes to Malcolm and such you have facial recognition software lead depended undisguised is actually still alive which makes for a great story to which we'll get to and then he goes and he beats the heck out of the camp and then leaves very behind basically says there's a serial killer after you come back to my place. If you want you know come with me if you WANNA lip and and like you you left her there and she said look if I if I try to force her to come back. She is not coming back. You know she you know she will just leave again if she comes uh-huh here because she makes that choice she'll stay yeah just like that seen in stranger things with hopper letting Alexi walk and then having him getting the car and drive off and recognize. He has more to go only that he can't come back. I haven't finished watching street for things so spoilers. Mas Atari Yeah. I know I know how it ends. I just don't want to know why he doesn't really mean much. It's a tiny little thing but but for those mirrors what we just saw here yeah and I and that's and that's a good aspect of they do and again again to show how just who selling your really is that he ties the gap and this the sex okay gotTa funnest interesting uh-huh and then all of these you know. I think this guy might be a little serious. I might be a little odd out of it and he does the only thing you can think of what you see kissing salinger injure freak out because that's that's a human trait. I don't think he's comfortable being human anymore. He's straight so far from that line signed that he doesn't recognize it as familiar anymore. I think I think it goes. I mean don't understand you know you you of course heard of the gay panic defense and this is gay panic by in the flight version of it because right of the game is is so that basically probably he is very much a person uncomfortable with his own self and sexuality. You know he is uncomfortable. He's he's just an uncomfortable and when someone who is comfortable with themselves actually one upset he doesn't know how to it's interesting to me in that because the whole time in my head. I just saw it being like that's what it was meant to be from the beginning and he was going to pretend to be that and then Kellyanne but to salinger that might not have even occurred to him he might have just been you know lowering him with the the thought of placating placating his ego saying I want to take photos of you and he might not have even seen the romantic angle of it and he's like wait a second what this is not what I had planned. This is not what I intended. It and I am no longer in control the narrative any longer and I very uncomfortable this go yeah. I mean very much that is a real part of it. I mean when one thing to and tell us how the guy was the whole reason. He's doing it to this guy because he's he says he overcooked the state. You know look. I hate an overcooked sake. As much as I really despise I will send that I will send that back if that is not a buddy rare steak I will you know cause I need. I eat my sakes draw. I that's who I am and I you know I do not like I think I'm medium a medium rare medium. Well steak or medium rare steak you can. I think that's too much as a but but at the same time it's still a good steak. I'm sure it was delicious. I I think I think the offense was laid laid in the fact that it was a Michelin Star Chef giving him an overcooked stake if it was just somebody or just another restaurant giving him an overcooked sake. It probably wouldn't have been as great an offense but you know at least that's the I think from yeah from his perspective and again I I don't WanNa see I wanna see someone actually check up on any of those degrees. Even those are real. I still say that. Those are all fake degrees. He freedom out wunderlist computer just to look like a big big big important guy. Maybe maybe that contest back in the day that he actually one was picked at random. I would wager that. That's was actually true. In fact I would wager that you know that you know that I don't know anything about the contest. It was a state fair. We don't know if this was some magazine contest. Where maybe everyone's a winner. You know they all right your poem and we'll oh published in this anthology only the best poems. We'll get Mike meanwhile. There's five thousand homes in the Hey you're a published author now so you can take that so you don't like giving take but at the same time yeah. It is the fact that maybe he's never achieved any. Maybe he was really good at some things but maybe not the best. He's he's. He's the you know. It's the the small time he's the small time champion and he can't accept the fact that being a big fish in a small pond is actually achieve nice place to be and when he realizes they're bigger fishes. He can't handle it. You know you know it's like you know it's it's like the Anti L. Buddy L. Bundy he you know he he did. What is it five touchdowns in a single game at the same time you you know he's happy about that because that was his real achievement and he doesn't look at something. I think we could see later. Is the fact that even in those little treatments he was not the best that was and there were other guys. You know he's better than you know. He's better than some random. He picks up the street right because because he gets the element of surprise which I think ninety nine percent is always the element of surprise. If you have the element of surprise you know it's much easier to get the drop on somebody nobody but of course telling in that is that he wasn't intending to Stab Jessica at the start of this whole story line that was a shock to him and he ran because because he realized she stabbed the wrong person and didn't even know who Jessica was and then when it all starts to unravel. It's like you know he tries price to spin Oh this just even better than I ever match. It's like every defeat for him is just proof of how much better he was than you thought he was before that moment uh-huh yeah it is it is it is a thank for him strong illusions but that's his character is yes. We get that Jessica finally comes clean to her mom Jessica. I'm sorry Well Jessica finally come clean to Patsies Tom. Yes exactly and does the I love just pushed out the window which I certainly hope she knew that was gonna work. Yeah Yeah but it does show that yes. She does actually do have superpowers. You now have the fall from great distances like a cat and has is you know obviously stronger tendons and muscles and bones to handle the force of that get a feed under her lamb. You know how to land right superpower. You know you don't want in Europe the third floor that's that's interesting because is it almost is the complementary power that Jessica is missing because she has super strength but her body is still a human body and still has to deal with the trauma of applying those magnificent forces onto a body. It's not built to handle them now. Maybe if she had patsies power she would be complete superhero. You know she would be impervious to allow out of a the fallout from the four. She applies on her body on other things. One of them is still bulletproof and actually right. I think I think they I think actually just does have stronger bones and and tendons and things because we've seen her like smash things and Ben Thing and something like her skin flakes off when she does that. You know we're in hard knuckles bleeding what she was trying to break out of the container yeah they they were but she was also punching against solid seals anti which also means that her bones are are pretty so basically it's. It seems like you know I mean I. I don't know because it. It seems like your skin's pretty strong too. It's just you know it's not right. That's true isn't that bulletproof. overnights prove otherwise be fair. Very few. Things are especially nice. That's let's people always forget about that. Actually knives can actually get a hard enough. It'll just shatter the plate and going through. I wonder if an Arrow probably would too do if it's from a compound boy actually yes it probably could close in the French because the reason why vote actually worked is because the force force behind the bullet actually causes the flatten rather than pierce and it's really just the whole differences whether or not the vote flattens Pearson's but if you have a knife because it is has a much longer length and is also designed to be you know essentially stronger and it has a much smaller surface area to which the entirety of that forces applied exactly and it's got the little wedge aspect of it. There's a lot of things that works works out great for knives but you know Pulitzer also good too but and then of course you can have you know bullets that are you know if you have the ceramic bullet that has made of the same ceramic as he shield that that is going to you know give you give you pause as well. You know ceramics crazy strong but of course like you know that's a diamond diamond but another down that was the moral okay yeah there's there's a nice seen this with a jerry going the funeral enroll for the guy who killed himself and confronting the son who is who. I actually have so much sympathy for 'cause he's a teenager and it's clear that he knows what a piece of trash his father was now. Oh my father was a hero and you toward him down. It's like no my father was a manipulative liar his whole life and you know but but he was so my dad now I don't have one and and I also know that you know you you exposing him filled him in a way that makes me mad at you to you know right because it's like he has confront the facade now which had always existed so even though he gets to see the truth but he was much happier with the facade but you know. I think it's the thing that if if the guy had just gotten caught by you know the university exchequer or the or you know they arrested arrested audit and found all the stuff than it would have been a much easier to handle thing as much as his father would still still be a ranting raving jerk probably still kill himself and blamed the government. I think I think the fact that it wasn't so that both the government could sleep with his mom could might have had a better better dealing with it and and you see like the horror in the face when he accidentally gently knocks tearing down and realizes this woman you know fell and hurt herself. He blames himself and it just you know it's a hard day man. It's the hard data via teenager when your father commit suicide claims lames your mom's lover sort of course you know the whole thing with in which of course is the other aspect of this story which is that he's blaming you know blaming. Jaren for inciting superhumans against US norm for normal people in using their superhuman detectives to find out Oliver Dirty secrets which of course wasn't sure at all just just you know if detector came in and really quickly realized all of your stuff because no one just had looked at you and anyone who had looked at you probably would have found something very eighty. Seven you know because the guy just was not being careful you know and you know that's that's what happens oh you know but then. Jaren has to deal with all of the all of the of this and then trying to fight in keep other clients nights and we find out that ironically ran doesn't want to be associated with Super Superhero vigilant. You know the remnants of rand that are are have assumed power in Danny's absence don't want to if there was just one more way to show. What a subsidy jerk? Dennie ran this yeah. Here's the one silver lining to the ending of the netflix Marvel universe. I don't know about that the much rather if if he actually wasn't just a complete waste of right obviously okay maybe not a several lying but at least somewhat of a constantly cry did did the sister live was yeah. I don't think well okay. We'll spoiler alert. Let's forget well. That's that's an area but she's also she also wasn't in charge of Randolph working. You've got kids. They've s oh right well. I thought you meant Berry. No no you met right right right right at the ranch the other sister the completely blanked out and who the other the two siblings thinks who were yeah. Why can't I yeah I don't. I can't even remember the brothers name. Yeah the kid on the way who ran off with find himself in Thailand. The father's name was Harold Right. Yeah Heroes Breaking massenet heroin anyway wasn't rant. I know that but rand industries and the board emphasized that jared hogarth joy joy was a the girl and I thought it was another Jane named for the anyway but choice choice invest so basically all of Jerry's contacts at rand are gone so that and that's that's dangerous for her also for the tour goes to that point where that she wasn't being very invested in keeping this because otherwise she might have kept tabs on iron-fist now aw although then again it also wondering imagine that maybe you know at some point in the future when Iron Fist doesn't need a lawyer. He's going to call Jerry again. Because what what do you mean. You're not my lawyer so you know there's always instrument but she's dying of. Lou GEHRIG's disease so How much time does she really have and it is. I it's painful when a former partner comes back now out in proud yeah it is what it is yeah but yeah the loose. Iran and that's the thirds of their business say making keep all these other clients but but of course that's what Lee well. That's what we're GONNA see her way to to win back the public but that's something for next episode in the meantime. Mas Anything else. You'd let's talk about this episode. I I think my favorite piece of this whole episode is after they finally saved Eric and Jessica comes in to see him and he says the goofiest little line to her and he says you're like Aspirin Bernini and she says Oh that's the worst I never but then she lays down and has like the only genuine satisfied like she takes at a brief vacation from all the madness of the world and allows herself to smile and it's the most beautiful moment because it's the sweetest thing anyone could have said to her and she played it off in her. Are you know hard exterior way but then you know she sort of like it to herself. Accept his adoration to which absolutely adorable. I know that there actually is a a a aspect that goes a little deeper which is that you're a really good person and you pretend you're not but you are actually in the same way eight at people make good but are actually or rightful here actually a really good person and that that has the opposite effect on me like when I'm around someone who's really good. It actually relieves the pain and as much as she beat yourself up about it. She genuinely is good in that. It's what a comforting thought. That must be what a weight lifted off shoulders for everything that she feels guilty about but you know maybe that's what makes a good person is that you do feel guilty about. The inadvertent things that you end ended up. Doing you know we'll exactly I mean that is the basis of being good is that you actually care uniform thing and yeah. It's it's it's awesome. It's wonderful in that region eight hundred and forty three where we love this show so Mars if he would like to talk to you about how much you love this show and things that you you like and you know other philosophical and moral dilemmas that they may have how can they find or if they want to send some questions are way for or one of the writers of the show Jamie Gingell Boon to appear on this podcast shortly they can email me at mas manzoor edge email dot com or find me on facebook under Mas Manzoor S. M. O. Doubles E. M. A. N. Z. Double O. R. and of course if you'd like direct me that old fashioned email where the Muslim Paswan says you can do so at superconductivity blog at dot com. That's Super GonNa Timothy blog. Oh one word word gmail.com of course follow me on twitter as I live tweet ageism shield cloak and dagger other shows that I like to read about when I feel I like the place if that ever comes back Orville Hulu so I can't really live thirty but we'll see what we do at Charlie answer. That's career. Rela e CR look for the two E in the Middle Johnny they go all Right Ladies and gentlemen. That's been one more wonderful episode of the Aka Jones cast. Were just so happy to be your friends good night.

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(Episode 151) "Jeremiah Johnson" Actor: Josh Albee.

Monday Morning Critic Podcast

37:03 min | 11 months ago

(Episode 151) "Jeremiah Johnson" Actor: Josh Albee.

"Episode one fifty one next guest has been in movies and TV shows such as Tom. Sawyer alr- Twist Code Grin and he absolutely iconic thinking legendary Jeremiah Johnson his name is Josh Albee. Josh thank you so much for coming on the show today pleasure John. You know we we're talking a little bit off air. You know you. You're talking a little bit about what you're doing. Now just kind of go. Let's start from the beginning a little bit so so why acting how how did that all unfold for you so so went in your life. Did you say you know what let's let's give the citizens or when did it adult say to you. You know what you've got a talent here here. Let's try to use that you know and let's see what people think well. How did that start off for you. Josh it was kind of entrusting really my mom wasn't access in Germany and my dad brought her over to Angeles into for the author and we lived there and she always wanted my dot my daughter my sister to become an actress and she also wanted me to become an actor since she had to leave her future life behind there in Germany and the first time that I remember basically was that my sister had interview a couple of times and then the agent town outback and she had a brother so they started sending me on any of us and I think it was a wholesome bread commercial. I went in and I pretty much got the part. They took me out in my sister was the driver for me. My sister's kind of been my mom and my life anyway so hey look at her to sleep fourteen and super hair and conceals their fingers and they perfect we on the brother and sister. Mr Now we just gotTa figure out father and mother for the for the commercial pin six and it just Kinda went on. I'm from there. My sister did a lot of extra work. She was low. The monkey girls see things like that and she always took me to my interviews because my mom Dr and the I I guess I got into it pretty much learn than I did lassie and it was a real sad part where I been. I was a orphan and I didn't even know don't mind birthday and that because a horse involved that kind of blend of things that I liked about doing oy straight after a while you realize that you're getting money just pretend and really good then get more money. uh-huh really cut and dry like that. I I think after lassie hold on one second. LLC was churches Yif Jeremiah for me anyway. It doesn't really matter what the order is but I I went ahead and I was getting hard all over the place and I I got. I got Jeremiah Johnston and that open and all kinds of doors for me after that I I did to gunsmoke one of a was a Christmas special ed see only Christmas Christmas special. They really have played every year as a jury foster Erin Moran and the guy was hunky. I forgot his name right off hand and it's a runs every year and things like. I think that that would have just a little more extra special. I am I actually do so called the question of love with Jenna rollins and Jane Alexander and I played the nineteen year old son they were a couple Generale Jane Jane Alexander. I stuff back then and he goes about seventy nine eighty and very we're going to court over the custody of me and my little brother and that was also something I did and then in between all that was forgotten the big stuff I I was Tom Sawyer on Tom Sawyer. TV station it was one of the her heart's hearts me to play because I was always cut the downtrodden hidden. I can somehow pull that off pretty good and this kid was really happy. VN vivacious all the time so even if they young age. I knew that was gonna be a harder part and I had to work a little harder to do it. that had a vic morrow as engine. Joe and buddy absence played muff potter the drunk drunk. I it's funny when you think back in you know yeah. I have all these needs to drop this. I really think hard yeah but I'm looking at your immune. I mean I've been studying studying you forever because you know we've been planning this interview and and you know I gotta say for those people thinking or that aren't familiar with your career. I mean you're not just this kid who got lucky with this one phenomenal movie. I mean you're in some serious things you mentioned last see you. Have you have a part in the addams family emergency. I mean you're in some pretty serious things. I mean that's for for a younger kid that you feel the pressure at that. He's plus. You're playing these parts that are very I don't see downtrodden and sad but this some of these are really tough to get off the fuel pressure in any way as a young kids. Definitely you know and you're almost fresher not so much to do it right for them to do it right for you. You know says you've you've taken the task I I am. I did a hour half TV special where called the runaways where I ran away from home and meet up with this leper for in I go to I'm looking for my father run away from a foster home and I'm looking for my father and I find out he dies and at the same time run into this leopard that has run out of a petting zoo or something like that and and we need along the way and that actually topped the weeks ratings for sixty minutes all in the family. The holy faced always do the what who has the highest Nielsen rating catch happened to just click in at the right time and so that that was out there for a couple of years they retained it for a couple years but not life Jeremiah Termi- Johnson his bend my in my claim to fame to this day if you anywhere in life the Middle America or something like that and you happen to bring it up. There's somebody that knows yeah. We're GONNA get to that. I I really do feel Josh like I said we'll get back but I really do feel like that. Movie is so like connick and I mean I feel like it's getting like a fine wine better eh age. It was fantastic when it came out and I almost feel like it's even better now. If that's even possible I it's hard to explain. Josh you know yeah I know and it's really interesting I I get I've gotten a few things that are really touched my heart the people that found somebody over why working hard hardware store for about twenty years and I'd be talking about it somehow and breath on guy overheard it and he comes back with a camera in your Christmas because get a picture with you are overheard you. You saying you were Kayla this. This will make my desk day birthday. That's takes a picture frame. I'm senator. It's car racing. I've I've had a few stories like that. That is actually It was the only time that being like that ever related on anything that Lebeau flight was the only thing that we both liked. His Dad was really strict and really tough with him. I guess but somehow when they were watching that movie. You saw like he liked him. Don't say that Yeah Yeah Yeah. I mean it's almost like and I hate to use this word because I hate to be overly dramatic but it's almost like a spiritual. You'll movie josh you know. It's one of these movies that it's just nature. It's out there on your own. It's this. It's it's it's a movie. That was way ahead of. Its time. I'm in a movie. That's just so perfect when it came out I mean it's hard to explain in words. You know it's got to be one of the last movie that had an intermission right or two right didn't intermissions just was I didn't. I don't remember it having one but it's amazing that you know so talk about that and you get an opportunity to work with because I'm looking at some of these photographs online I mean there's some of the most beautiful pictures with you in Redford but before we get to him how what what was it like working for Sydney Pollack talk about greatness and a guy that was ahead of his time a great director. was that experience like for you. Josh you. Can you know it's funny. He had so many people to direct and then it was so interesting but uh he was good. I mean what can you say is was one of the best I I. I'm just lucky to have worked with them. It was so easy for me because it's just fit me so well and I knew how to somehow talk with my eyes because I couldn't talk at one point. I was just dying to say something. You know right. Maybe I might even done that in between when we rehearse what about at it's pretty powerful calebs a pretty powerful character right he he doesn't speak but you know what I mean. There's a story behind Nassar's. It's just a really powerful character. Josh Oh yeah in the hall show so I'm sure you've been acids a billion times. I mean maybe more talking about your experience working with renfrew for because it's certainly one of his most under appreciated movies in a way. I feel like I don't WanNA senator. Appreciate it because people love it. It's very popular but in a way it's like it should be a I think. It's a top one of the best movies of all time. So what was it like working with red for. What was your experience like with him. Talk about that a little bit. If you would mind aw he was a regular guy. I kinda knew because I I was really into Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid and I kind of thought yeah if you talked to. He's just like a regular guy have his final when I found out that I got you on my Johnson. I thought Oh man I get to do guns in home to its Jesse. I'm GonNa you do a lot of guns stuff for sure. I'm eleven. I can't wait but anyway he. He was really easy. of course. I didn't have any align so I didn't have to worry about too much of that. I kind of knew their lines. They I needed it real bad but I have one was real remembering. I remember things weren't going right. We're in the Canyon and and Utah that time of winter snow just comes down and goes past you. You know you're in snow for a while there. You're not in snow and that was Kinda hampering. You're not keeping any kind of consistency in the in the in the filming coming so sunny shows you know go off to our lines and he goes galloping often for long way. He was bad. It was tied to our lines because he also his lines. We might have not been doing so well. You had a bunch of and we're worsened there for awhile. He's saying lying to me and he's looking in. I'm looking back and then he just gets into this enormous blast and you can almost hear down the Canyon he goes. I just remember you have no lines and everything it was good again. We go back down because we went galloping up. You know smile hold on tight but yeah together so long ago that I don't remember many of the things that I wouldn't want to sure enough now the eh but I almost feel like your life would be a great book as far as just on your acting alone I mean you're in this wonderful movie. It's got such iconic lines. You know you've done well to keep your hair you know. Was it worth it. I mean I know that ending. Josh it just makes you ball every time because you know what Redford's been through you know the story and it's just such a beautiful like so we have. CGI Today right. I mean it's all anti-siege movie. It's about as real as you get. It's it's one of the last really beautiful movie shot that weren't enhanced that weren't you know played with and tinkered with with a computer with with graphics. It's pure pure movie Cafarelli and Okay and he wasn't done. The character wasn't planning on getting family. You know just Kinda got pasta upon him. They got that was so intricate too. It's like I don't think it seems like in the beginning of the movie. You really is not look for a wife and yet shone upon him river sequence. Gill you awesome talk about him. As an actor was he just fun to work with see you get to interact with renfrew because many of your senior with him most of them at some point in time. I talked to yeah he was funny. He was so funny and they had their thing where he's like sniffing these like trying to get back out of his nose and the Raven feather and insuring my anything by this. I don't know I don't know what happened. Hiding ain't nothing sodomy or any keeps the snickering Sir than let his he goes. He goes kitchen rivers. Kim Flown in. It'll come out after I having weeks after that all through the whole through all about because it was so funny one point you had not laughing. You know it was just it was too funny Johny. I don't want to give it away. I mean the movies was filmed a while ago. I mean for those who haven't seen it. I can't recommend it enough. It's in my certainly my top five top ten endless of all time certainly one of the things you know the seventies growth in the seventy s and I have to say Josh one of the things for a different reason in the seventies seventies. There weren't a lot of movies or shows that showed broken family or family. That didn't have a dad or a mom or I mean granted. This is different. I understand it. You know it's a different situation the situation but still you know you talk about the point that Redford kind of adopted inherits his family and is a man about it right. We see a lot of shows today where the father is absent and this this and that but it's it's it's a great week for that reason to Josh Right. I definitely so many levels ahead. I got quite a few things letters text or something. brought in the near gathered together and Do you remember how long filming was Josh. How long it took you guys to film that entire Movie Not Really I. I think I was there for you. Know what I'm GonNa ask my sisters okay. How long was working on Jeremiah. Yeah probably six months law came home. Everybody got sick on this and I got sick and they send me home for we. We're right back at it and I do think he was a lot hard harder being a child actor when you're acting than it is now. I mean now. I feel like it's not easy certainly but it's I think it's easier right. I mean how tough was it for you. I mean not necessarily I mean just being younger and being put in the situation I mean what advice would you give to someone that wants to be a child actor or or mothers and fathers. I want to send their kids into acting as their advice that you give that. Maybe either you learn the hard way or or somebody told you and it really helped you. That's a hard question. That's really hard because I thought about that many times because you have to hit alot if you see now you're you know you keep and you get real whole yourself and then everything ends the national pretty. Sometimes I v easier nowadays because everything is of little more glenis stressful his hey maybe not no you know there's so much talent and so much we access to headcount where you can get a lot of people that look the same and then trial now for part and and kick from a lot of people in actors actresses yeah and I have to say Josh that you had a ten to twelve year stretch that most actors would kill for and die. I four I mean not many people have done what you've done in your career and that's you've gotta be proud of that right. I mean you talk about yeah. It's tough to highs and lows. I certainly but I also understand that what you've accomplished. Most people haven't been oh yeah yeah. Definitely I do humble myself. He was a long time ago and it's just something that happened. I get the file back on on when I'm feeling kind of down and like you say you know like a Western dress that she never worked for something like that but it's funny because I just retired like I said but I I got my screen actors guild card who since nineteen sixty nine I am I registered with social casting which is the background you know what they used to call extras back then and I think getting a few jobs and it's so different now absolutely incredible and there's so much better two extras this unbelievable although here they call it holding you know which doesn't sound good but I was I was doing thing is one of those background things and on the third day I can say a child actor mccrone Sunday says Oh yeah what movies have we've done and I said well. I was in a ceremony Johnson from that kind of a shares were. That's my husband's favorite looney teacup picture. Can we take picture your picture you know and I and I don't no no I kinda liked that. I might have to try and do that again retirement and gets kind of boring after a while. I'll tell you what's wrong with being retired at all. I have to say you know whereas you're in this so you had a big career even in a bunch of great things and yeah it's your my. Johnson is a wonderful movie up to be a part of but you know like I said it was much more than that. It's out imagine the shots of a shot of a kid working with Sydney Pollack at the time in one thousand nine seventy three ish I mean it had to be one in millions right whereas now I know it's more competitive but think about this josh you know they. We have more avenues. There's Prime Hulu Netflix in about twenty places but when you were when you were growing up when we were growing up because we're we're close in age you know there was there was not many what the three main stations NBC ABC CBS and maybe maybe a movie and that's it right yeah movies. Thank my forte so we mentioned retirement. I hope you'll mind me saying so I think and I hope I think you're a big fisherman my right with that so it's ironic because a lot of Redford's movies you know after Jeremiah Johnson in Jeremiah Johnson. A river runs through it a bunch after that. We're all fishing related so I think it's kind of ironic. How you're a big fisherman. Talk a little bit about on your passion and your love for vision. It goes back about thirty years. there's something about added. I believe that I've been kept a little younger because of it. I I didn't for a long time just to go on a sport fishing rushing vote in these six in your comes back at six and so you gotta get up real early you gotta get ready and kind of it's almost like like having a routine who exercise routine I actually the first fish I ever caught. got me hooked. was we had a friend who have a friend who used to work on a fishing boat and he said he's fish fish called yellowtail. You have to come down to Don't bring anything I'll give you. I'll give you a poll of food and I I went and did it and he hooked me up the yellowtail that those things fight really hard and it took me around the like three times and after that I I was Hutch and then I studied doing half day boats in you can go out on the second half and then they have full votes and may have overnight night votes and pretty soon. I just wrapped up in the whole fishing thing I go. I'm going on the twentieth of this month for seven days. Fishing trip to baadlu pilot very wow wow I go with some friends that a couple of them work on the day votes in other words. I want to cook my friend Danny Danny and he he on his day on his one week vacation. He goes on a seventy fishing trip. He's a little crazy is he. You know he's looking vote all. EPA Not fifty two weeks a year long one and then heartache advocation. He goes for seven days straight right that right. That's the fashion of that so I have to tell you that like I live about an hour away from in Cape Cod in Massachusetts and one thing I will never understand Josh and chalk this up to stupidity and humanity whenever there's like shark in the water people like freak out they almost act like it's the sharks fault for being in his own home right so it's like like a shark like well where the hell else is a shark supposed to go. It's like going in the Safari Afar in a jungle and being stunned that a lion is in the you know it's like. I never understand it every day in the paper or online. There's people are upset about sharks sharks in the water. Will that's their home like. It's it's almost like the ultimate like. Are you serious so I as a fisherman. How do you feel about that and and people in in tally Josh to me is just I dunno. It's awkward you know yeah you know there as a more fish more suction alaric 'cause the water's warmer and signs out and stuff but people just don't yeah. I don't get it. It's almost like how dare you come on my beach well. It's how it should be. How dare you go into their home but anyways that's I guess is a conversation. I have to ask you is there. I know you fish a lot. You keep busy you know. Is there an actor or a movie or a show that you've seen recently or that. You really impressed with an actor a movie a show. Anything really catches your eye as a as a former actor as somebody. That's really been an accomplished Actor is now a days that you find intriguing. You know really isn't that's strange yeah. There's so many different characters there to begin with. I don't fifth year right. I just don't coach them. I guess I'm a little jaded. I mean yeah I mean I I get that. Do you look back and I mean you have to be proud of. What you've accomplished my goodness I mean that's got to be something that you're ultimately proud of. I mean your yea rollercoaster ride and that certainly has an effect on people but you when you look back are you. Are you proud of what you've done. Oh yeah definitely definitely I. I wish I had a life in kids so I could show them all these little movies that idea and commercials and things in a lot of stuff and nowadays you can pull things up for your TV that unbelievable I did a die hard battery commercial on Super Bowl and reverted up brand new TV bringing the five voice and sure enough. It's me and man's him. Hey Dad I can see our car. Lights are on so he turns around and that's in guy it was it was it was a baseball commercials but it was for football but he's faithful yards and yeah and he he misses the homerun because our lights on but anyway Hanjin there no. You're not in my last question to you outside of fishing. Is there anything else you love to do with your time. I mean we mentioned retirement. Do you have any other passions that you'd like to kind of you know. Do you know involve yourself or anything else that you love to do. Besides fishing I dabbled in being an extra and it's just far to a new life into me. I couldn't believe I worked from like four. Am to and yet costume and and make for a star Trek thing and we work until ten. PM and I wasn't tired usually if I did something like that. There's something about being on set and if you've already had it in your ear just reignites. I'm just soon as I get moved into our new house I I. There's more I can do to go out for that particular part of acting and then hopefully somebody who's nosy young veterans has only one way you figure next to come over here. We're here clearly unnatural. I mean I mean it's not it's not your your rookie here. You're when you hear somebody who knows what he's doing. You know you know what I think is. This'll be the last thing I say Josh. Thank you so much for giving me a half hour of your time. What one thing I think you'd be really good at you ever hear of comic cons and I think you'd be really good in that talking to people and you know having you know people come up to you and you mentioned pictures earlier and I don't think you'd be really good in that. That will definitely consider that. I think you'd be really good in that but I gotta tell you I mean I just appreciate you giving me a half hour of your time name. His name is Josh Albee. Josh I cannot thank you enough. I mean we might Dad and I my dad passed. We we bonded to your movies and we we'd love blocking Jeremiah Johnson. You were a big part of our report growing up. I hate to sound so cliche because you mentioned other people said that to you but it's it's very much true and you were so kind to people what people don't realize how kind to me you. Were you know an understanding you were off air and how kind you weren't understanding where I wish you such a happy in wonderful retirement just a good man and I wish you nothing about the best I truly do. Thank you so much and what's on the spit grown particular. Ah Not about feed just company. I keep thank you kindly come by far trouble trouble. You could good rabbit pilgrim cool. What brings you up so high. Hi Griz avalanche took the cabin lost my view. We swim out no matter where no Grizz laughed anyway. Would you happen to know what the year it is so I wouldn't shy he'll march. Maybe maybe I don't believe April. We'll longtime go on as long law is high. Mark Green Muddy much down looks like it uh you lived on where to keep so much hair when so many after I hope you will the way that you want is the way that you choose. Tanny is hey you lose sunshine. A thunder. A man will always wonder way fair win blow.

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