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#623 - Bonnie McFarlane
Greetings, it's Wednesday, October. Third, the judge what's happened now is brought to you by on it for your supplemental needs. Out of this Daffy understand me from the alphabrain the shrimp techs immune and the shoe tech sport does in my favorite things that they have. I also love the Mexican chocolate protein give out of the Tri godown dot com right now and press and charge. And there you have it ten percent off delivered, right? The house got to talk to you about something else. This MMA weekend kinda McGregor steps into the actor, gone Saturday night in this first frightened two years. You can bet on things like whether he'll win straight up or whether it could be will deliver the first round KO. My bookie is going to take action on this this weekend. So I'm telling you right now. I recommend these guys because I really trust them their family, and I know you'll be happy off season with my booking. Do me a favor log onto my bookie right now and w money w. Gatiss use promo code church c. h. h. and you'll get the first deposit match. One hundred percent. That's promo code shirt c. h. u. r. c. h. you play, you win. You get paid kick this fucking mealy. Oh shit. It's wednesday. How did that nut? It's gonna be a good one. Late chicken. There you go. A little fucking black Betty when for what. Family back Betty family lamb lamb the damn thing. Ma'am. Lamb said. Damn thing on Milan. Backpedal bam. Black, Betty Betty on the church. What's happening now McLaughlin the Christ FILA and uncle Joey coming at Jakab Sigli shit. Go. The fuck is up on the McFaul to be here. Great abbey. I never come to LA Guojia say, you go you in Hoboken what the fuck you doing Hoboken there is a say, abo- can which is wrong, but I feel like it sounds better than Hoboken, but yeah. So there's some kind of comedy festival there. Really? Yeah. It's not great. You know, rich to show lesson. I went with them so that I could spend some time with them, you know? And because he'd just gotten back from Ohio, and then I was leaving today this morning for LA so we didn't have much time to spend together. So I went with him to his show and they had a porn star on the shows porn stars in comics. And so they had this porn star on the show. I don't know who star, I dunno seems unlikely, but she'd comedy for the first time. And again, what? What kind of appeal is that? Like? Who like isn't that the last thing you on is? Do you. Your porn star talking like, you know what I mean? Don't you fast forward through that part. You know, you just want to get to the cocking or whatever it is. Don't you drown? Fuck it. I mean who they don't wanna see that you don't want that bringing people into to to this. I gotta go, see this porn star speak. That's like the last thing people want. It is because I got lumped into that for a long time. Like when I first got people have strippers comics, I was telling Lee right on Santa Monica boulevard across from this place that when I first got it, we go over there next to a seven, eleven across from Strasbourg, ater whatever, taking acting thing on fat. Yeah, yeah. Across from that was like a place, fifty, three forty and Thursday. Meta comedy and burlesque, but topless at the would take top off and the chick that hosted it was appoint Stein. It was got off. Four hundred people would show up on Thursday. To listen to watch her. She just because they, she show her boobs at the end when it'd be more comparable to sit at home and just Google it up. She would just be with a fucking bang and dress on and looking like a lady, the rest of the girls who went up with do bro type at the end. They would take their shirts off then have a license to put based on the nipples, and I didn't never saw the magic of that appeal there, but you take the fifty bucks new pay rent the. I mean, listen, they have they have in LA too, or in New York. There's a this friend of mine Karen fee hand as a burlesque show. Where are you going to do stand up and then there's burlesque dancers in between. It's like, great, I go do it. I, I'll do stand up anywhere anytime, but I don't get it. Three or four year level? I was doing comedy. A strip club opened in Denver when the casinos open a strip club opened to compete with shotgun Willie's. The biggest drip clubbing Denver, and they comedy on Monday nights and I would go down just because I read that Lenny Bruce book and he used to do Kylie with strippers, but I'm gonna get more stage going. Nobody wants to say me, right. Well, that situation is the opposite. You know is like you wanna see strippers if they're stripping, but you don't wanna see strippers if they're trying to do stand up. You know what I mean? You don't want to be. I don't listen. I don't wanna see strip is mixed with comedy and no fucking rather go to a comedy club and see strippers and go to a strip club comedians, you know, can you imagine like you or I went out expecting naked girls, it's just it's the same thing as when you go to a restaurant. You don't know there's comedy there, and then people get up and start. If you read to do stand up in a restaurant with it's the worst, it's so humility. Alienating people eating. Then they get mad and they leave and they're like, you know what? I, you know, you always thank the stars. You don't think the stars while it's happening. You just say how fucking rude. But when I started comedy, it was attached to a state night. What do you mean? It was five fifteen ninety five. The state, my comedy. Or prime rib nine or something baked potato prime rib and a little fucking piece of corn and a comedy ticket. Fifteen ninety five. So in the host went up, they will biting any. Serbis eat Nobis stake. It's like, you can't do anything else. You literally can't do anything else, but you. But I also felt bad for the feature act as a feature was going through a two. There will be getting desert right? This place. Quite gave me a shrimp bowl, you know, they give Trimble. Pretty good deal. I think that they gave you a shrimp boat on limited fuck meal shrimp, which is just disgusting. When you think about that getting from some country, who knows? Yeah, they're getting tons of this shrimp and you go in the Johnny bananas dip initial than they let go home stomach ache days. I can't imagine that the waitresses with servers are being quite either during your show. Right? Oh, it was a nightmare. It was just the might Mun looking back at it now. Like it made me the comic who I am today, but then I would go home feeling fucking defeat. It, you know, I still do. These shows I go, you know? 'cause I don't go on the road because I have a kid. So I do, you know, I do every steak and seafood restaurant in the state area. And if I do well at these shows, I go home, I drive home feeling shitty 'cause I've had to do what I've had to do to do well. And then if I don't do well, I drive home feeling shitty. 'cause I, you know, you have an ego about it. It's like there's no winning in some. So I live right in the middle of New Jersey right in the very center of that off day. It's about an hour, you know? So if I'm going in for like nine o'clock show or something, it's fine. You don't leave at seven thirty, but if you have to be somewhere at seven, it's a fucking pain in the ass because at the tunnel gets backed up. Adjust leaving Los Angeles going to jersey, having a fucking kid adopting like nine kids because rich half Puerto Rican, he's got like nineteen fucking kids on the side. You never know. He's got a daughter in college. He's got the other ones driving kids are they're, you know, they're one of them's getting married, the other ones shacked up there. They're, they're adults there. That's amazing. Yeah, I remember when he was like on the struggle and we would talk. Oh yeah, he was. He always talked about as his girls and taking him on stage, and now we're doing the same thing to Raina. She's eleven. She's funny. She's so funny though. She's just, she said, I said to her one day I was watching Louis c. k. on on YouTube and he does a bit where he fucks a stool, and I was like, Jesus is every guy do of stool fucking bit. And then she was, you should do it, but you should ask for consent. Yeah, I don't care. What does she think? You know, it's like I feel like it's like it's like beer. You would drink a beer in front of your kid, but you wouldn't let your kid drink beer. You know, it's like something's adults get to do, and kids don't, you know. And there's also like a like she's sworn before when it's been very funny, like in a joke and it's been in context or it's been at the right time, the right place. It's totally fine. For I o, she used to do the signatures really little where she would. She would. She would go through some curses. Oh my God. It was so funny, but she's never done in trouble at school. I mean, she knows where you know it's. When an wear? Yeah. Yeah. I'm scared of my daughter picking up. I picked it up when I was young and my mother's bar in Spanish and then going to New York. I gotta translated to English and it never ended. And that's why I'm filthy. Reversible what's kids stops starch, cursing. You can't turn that wheel back was she doesn't. You know she, she doesn't Kurt. Like she, you know, her friends. You know she is, you know, I took it over friend's house day in our parents were having a sleepover in her parents said, you know, can you come pick her up at eight thirty tomorrow morning because we have to go to church and you know, I was like, oh, boy, you know, but she just knows when and where she, I know she would horrify people if they really knew. So she said. I'm, I'm cringing. I know she said shit one day, but I don't think it's bad. I honestly don't think it's bad, none. It's gotta start at a certain age and I'm an old school motherfucker. There's no Bouza miles. Yeah, pretty soon. I gotta start going for a ride to smoke dope on quit smoking though. Yeah. And I'm gonna have to do it. I have to do it. They'll now I grew up around parents. She knows I, they should. I do something in that bag. Nobody times I run like like we run in and put things away. We just been on a two hour excursion and I'll run end and I wash my hands at the sink and she'll go, daddy, you're gonna, come draw, may go get everything set up. You know, many times I've gotten till you office. I go into the back. I open up the back door. Thank God. I got that back door. I fill up a pipe and I blow the smoke outside. I have a big backyard, so I stepped outside. I come in. I put the by Bennie Papa piece of government. I wash my hands. I locked the door. Yummy times. I've opened up that back though. She's been there waiting for me the tension. So that means she knows she someone's going on when we want for she smells it. I mean, honestly, you don't smell it because you smoke pile, but people who don't. They smell it on storm. She says, I know for a fact that the first time she said something to my wife, her mother about smelling some done, even in the back. My wife will let me know immediately like it's old. The office and get high Cologne on. And for me, I have to do that. I was introduced to drugs nearly eight where mama the ball fucking regret it now regret all this shit. I did at least let her make decision, but not at fucking I can't have. I wouldn't give a fuck of weed is legal in that. I don't care about none of that shit. I'm telling you this time in the motherfucking place for everything. She's fourteen when she comes to Maine goes, I smelt these guys smoking weed, then it's time to sit the fuck down and explained the situation how many. Show shelter in Bush showed me fucking heroine, coke and pot. Six. What? Because they had gone to the police athletic league and they took me police stations part of the trip in New York City in fingerprint you, they'll let you shoot a twenty two, and they give you like a junior g man badge. So he would tell me, like, you know, you have to report mysterious accident shy that time. I knew my mom did something. I just didn't know what I should earn. A friends did something, and I still remember seeing my mom don't blow out of a limiting foil all Cuban style women's night. When all my answer get together, they would play cards and dominoes ship, and they would do little ball might guide by the time I was seven or eight. I would tell my mom to wipe knows Mike. Oh, my wife. Those like fucking Barras base. So then like when you got older, did it get worse as she stopped doing it shoes, though? She died 's. Wow. So were you embarrassed of it? Oh, no, no. Can come up in the drug report when she died every just a heart attack? No, I mean, was. Doing blow? Yeah. At that time, nobody. She wasn't doing it like people were doing it now, man, it wasn't the way she had under control. She worked in the bomb mother belief you to sell drinks, you gotta drink. You know, my mother believed that if a woman boys behind Bob friend should never be in the ball, you know it, he, he shouldn't see what's really going on break away the the dream. Gotcha. Of a level body. I don't eat the nobody's right. I wonder how one of their spending every night body. Can I go out with you? I can't. Bob. The fly, but you never got boyfriend or husband. You just don't mention, you know what you ring at work. That's how we'll makes bucket money. You show those titties a little bit, but not enough. You know what I'm saying perfectly when you bend over to got to be able to Texas and go to a ball every woman has in cleaning you ever gonna barn Houston. You gotta show those cities. You gotta give me the allusion that I might be able to score with you. That's what's gonna get those dollars flown out of my fucking pocket. You know, when you go to strip club take stripper site and you'll go a little creepy at the end of the night. I'm wants to spend the night with you. Like meet me Denny's Denny's is you don't show up, you know. Oh, yeah. You home though. Always tight me at Denny's reach their forty five minutes day you on a cough, but Cologne on your neck and chicken ever show that was. That was. Yeah. I. They show the chick showed one time and she just ate breakfast. Macron talk. We kinda talk, and then we went on a legal date. Like three days later. And then I told I was a stand up comic and I was in the process of a divorce. This could only happen to me at the time. This could only you know you have a bad luxury like, you know, when the phone rings like that, I can't get no worse. So I'm going through a divorce. We have a child. This chick. Whether to a barber shop where my wife worth and sat my wife's chat without knowing that's how fucking, oh my God as she's like, cut me up my because I'm going out with a comedian this week on. That's, that's the luck I had at that time. Did you say your name? Oh yeah. My wife goes, what's his name? My God. She was got up and left my wife. Hera deal. She's looking. She had ears. She called me back anytime. You're mad at fucking getting the voice because it's cheap. It's not cheating. I'm deceased, but another guy I'm trying to meet another woman my God. That's a crazy story. How crazy is that? That's like a movie at she was passed. My wife. Chick was twenty three banged him big freight Teddy's like the whole. It could only happen to me saying the comedian. We of nice comedians too, and that was one of them. Can you fucking believe that he's probably more hairdressers than comedians? There's fucking where we can comedians in bowl the bullet and even have a comedy scene. It's weird. There was a club called the blue note that was a jazz bar in New York now though in boulder. Right? And that's where Roseanne used to do a majority of her work. Wow. Was that place the Denver comedy works? Did you try to say the? No, she's talking about Roseanne. He's. He's. Who's got the your daughter today? Rich? Yeah, he's got the whole week with with, you know, this is a rare thing. It's an experiment will see what goes. I knew it rain. I said, you gotta, you know, he's, he's got. He's gonna short fuse. So you know, they get into fights. They're like two children. A lot of times, you know where he tells her to do some and then she won't do it. And then he yells at her. And then I got to step in and then she Fultz with him because she knows his little idiosyncrasies and you know, it's, it is what they get there. They love each other, obviously, a father, daughter situation as weird one that especially in the dad is a fucking lunatic. I mean, he's he's got so many weird little fucking things. It's it's, you know, it's like walking through a minefield sometimes, but I just called him before it came here and they're out playing basketball. So they're having fun sixty one still playing basketball. He. He does whatever it is ten thousand steps today or something. Does that sound right? Some crazy amount he's got. He's always like, I got my steps. Got to put my steps in. He's insane because he still thinks that he's gonna somehow. He wants to do stand up with his shirt off. I don't know. He thinks like he's always like, I'm just going to lose ten pounds. I was telling the other day was like, don't you want to just be happy like, wouldn't you rather just be like ads? Good, great. You lifted. I do. I do of dumb shit. You look fucking great. Jesus Christ. Before we started the podcast we're talking about when I first met you, it was at the improv is very casual. Never hung out of nothing. We never really chitchatted. I'd say Hello. Say Hello. I forget we used to hang out with in those days. I'd like to save Doug beds. Bet it was at Crewe what crew was because it doesn't. I'll comedy star guy. The guy would give me spots at the improv from time to time, and I watch you guys. It was a fun crew. Everybody was very nice, but you guys had your own thing. Well, because we would there was there was a group of us. It would work at the improv and then also at the all in the all seen, you know, and we could do both for whatever reason what was the name of the fucking place at the all team Fargo. Largo Largo. Okay. And you guys name? Where was the place where Josh DeNardo is at that started at Largo, Largo. Wait, it might start at embar and then moved over to lower Largo. He was the guy who started Largo, and then you know, obviously they from that he was paying him. He was paying the comics, and that's what happen I was that what happened ago was paying the he was getting names up, sir? Yeah. The lineup at Largo during the week. His night was absurd. It was. It was my. It was the comedy store. The imprompt meets the latte like six of the best comics working every fuck in week you would sit there and know Jesus Christ So year. Any teamed up with Mitch Hedberg. Just be denoted. Taking him on the road and they took him to Toronto at him. Mitch, got in trouble something weird and then suppose he when he got back here, it got the somebody like he was. He had mortgage show in that got the somebody that Lago is giving him like six hundred bucks a week. He's right. He was not paying comedians. He was just pocketing out the mind. Fuck in house Hollywood? Yes, it was the hottest room this for him. He was the first one to sort of like, you know, he curated a room, you know, he would only put in. He was very, you know, specific about the kind of comic he wanted and they brought in a certain kind of audience and then and he and he was kind of a little mean to the audience in in terms of like, if anybody talk, they were kicked out it was he really ran that show. That's why it became the show that it became. But yeah, he, he then they kicked him out of it because the law goes on Fairfax. The east to be? Yeah. What was the place when we first got here, that was the hot hot spot in boys town. What town to Gary don't Santa Monica and laugh Santa, you made a right and you wanna around two blocks, and then you made a left a you walked around fifty feet, and there was a the guy Sam used to book you had to go downstairs. That also became. Spot for agents and managers you walked in there, you gotta deal. One. Yeah. If you if you had a spot that Tuesday, you gotta deal like you walk out of there with a manager agent. Well, there's a thing about LA back in the day. Was that you would you would do these crazy? Some sometimes. Okay. We used to do this show that was at the the basement of the Ramada inn, like what the Vermont. Oh my God, that's that room has been existence. Now, it's a pot hotel l. it is. Yeah, used to be, but three or four years ago, they China into a pothole town. They were doing pot comedy in that. Right? Okay. Pot hotel where you could pot in the hotel room in shed tears. It's gonna greenleaf outside. It's a weird name, but in Vermont, I don't know why we would because I guess it was a Monday night Sunday. Yeah. And. Fucking open mic people just starting out and then you know, like Marc Maron would be there or Dave across with Schober like it was a patent what it was like. An all places were like that. It was like, you know, it'd be because people just wanted to get stage time. It's not like New York where you get booked on, you know, five shows a night, you know. So you just always looking for an open mic. Fine. I'll go and I'll get on and there will be, you know, fucking ten, open mic hers and you know Jimmy Garoppolo and you know these big stars that were there. You know, what was the comic book place? Uncivilized Lee just told me about somebody cosmic vinyl. Is that still there? I just doing comedy there. The vinyl place. I used to be the old seat. The owner knows you listen to podcast that used to be the old scene. Yeah. For a company I left before when Duncan book that I wanted to Nate a bag of big. Oh my God. 'cause it was just so it was like, you know what? What do they call them? They're hipster hits, hipsters, hipsters hipsters. Before they will even know hipsters. Then they used to be a taco place that all area used to have tremendous commodity. What's that fucking Silverlake before silver silver, like one Mexican by overlake was bad ass to a free Margarita when the spot and listen if you're getting a free Margarita. Pretty good. Remember if you will get the free market. That means you'll get into a free moderator because you get the bartender offend, and now you had to. Pentti step because until the. They wouldn't give you a fuck in soda at these places like you were getting, you weren't getting paid and and you had to, you know, put out for anything you wanted at the bar for most of those places. You know, they treated commerce shit shit most days and the and the promoters of making it a little bit of money. And they would break you off like three drink tickets, and that was you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. If you kill the gives you an extra one. Here's an extra one dog. I was so great because they, they would send you your check. They pay you by check, but they would let you run a tab at the bar. So my whole theory was is I'm gonna run up a tab at the bar so they have to keep booking us. 'cause then they just take it out of your check. You know, I never ever got a check. 'cause that's brilliant. Yeah. People drinks. And then, yeah, that at some point they stop letting you run up a tab, you know, but that those were the good days because in the improv man, we used to get so fucked up there. That was part of the started. Yeah, they had that big bar there was so I don't know. I don't think they have that. People be then then that's bud used to on an eight armed men be huge stars to remember going in there. One time in Ellen Degeneres was in there with an hey, sh when they were dating. And she was talking to me and, and so I was talking to an Haitian and and Ellen Degeneres and Bill Maher walk Dan, and he sees the three of us in the corner, and he goes, Hello lesbians. I was like, I might add something that's Bill moy- saying a lot. Yeah, that's why I met him the first time they put me on his show to do a sketch, and he was always like out. Runs Zimmerman, I think would drag them in there all the time. He's friends with weird people. Yes, good friends with the kitten play. OAS. Yeah, we kid one that we have on the podcast best friends. He does the music for the show. Oh, I didn't know that. What's the end of the idea kid? The theme of something for it. He has now, do you still remember this Bill more story when I first got here, I got him because Doug staying on the exam did Seattle, and they told me, come down. You really do great in about three weeks later how I got hit and I'm a mud. He said something to me goes, we'll try to get you spots at the improv. But right now I'm not doing too good. Let me see nails again. They're beautiful. Yeah, he goes podcast more off. Don't get terms at the improv right now for a few days. I'll tell you when I'll get you in when I first got it. So I said, what you do upcoming them. But Bill Maher had a party and I fought some girl in his bed. So Bomar call the improv complainant. Doug stanhope. Personally, apologize. Fucking child marking go, suck addict. I mean, like if you're that pissed about it, say something to stand up, don't try to take work away from the guy. That's a fucking shitty move. It was a different time than he was a different person. You know, you walk into your bedroom, somebody's fucking Doggystyle wasn't his girlfriend. You got kids. I think something. I think it was the girl. He wanted the fuck often crazy. He's really going to bring him down. I opened for Bill markup times in one time I was in the green room and you could hear the guy onstage the MCI or whatever, you know. And I laughed at the guy and he told me I had to go to the green room. I was going to laugh. Doing for twenty three years a long time. You started in Canada, you up there for how long on. I didn't do stand up in Canada, very long couple of years. And then I, I'm a move to New York. I is spongy story about I called see in Canada. When you were starting out. We're talking about yet cakes before the. We started the podcast, but they wouldn't promote you as a comedian. They would only promote comedy see, could never get out from under the Yuk yuks hold, you know. 'cause you could never, you know, go sell tickets on your own. Yeah, to use the name and people complained about all the time and I was like, fuck this shit. I'm gonna. You know, I'm going to the states and they had Caroline's comedy hour was you know, one of the big shows back then in I called Caroline's the club. I just looked got the number and call the club, and I said, who books the TV show knowing there's to know what I was talking about. So they put me through the manager. I think Joe fells. Iran or something like that. And I'm talking to the guy and I said, I wanna do your TV show and it turned out. He really was the guy who booked the TV show, and he said, okay, you know, he asked me some questions about myself. He was kinda, you know, mused I guess by what the fuck is this girl. And then he asked me for it was cute and I was you. You so. And he said, okay, I have some workmen in my office. Fixing the ceiling. I'm gonna put you on speaker, and if you can make them laugh a give you the show. So we put me in speaker the have my notebook open and I ran through some jokes and I heard the workers laugh in. I did a little crowd work. He gave me the show from from doing that. So then I came to New York and did Caroline's comedy hour use this so that those last year that that that show was happening. So I don't know what what year that was, but mid to late nineties, probably like ninety six ninety six or ninety seven. Maybe something like that. And yeah, this I bombed really bad to where tape at Caroline's. Yeah, I got my managers through that and everything. And then I had to go back for a little bit to Canada. And you know, just a couple of weeks later, I was back in New York for good, and I was like, I got a an apartment in in Harlem fully furnished apartment for five hundred bucks a month. The rats, no rat. It was a really nice apartment. But yeah, the woman who lived there just died in the people were looking for someone to just sort of stay in the stay in the place until they could. You know, sell it or whatever. It's like a, I got lucked out. Yeah, the no one would come visit me back then. Season potentially. What street was that? One twenty fifth and Broadway. That's a fucking phenomenal neighborhood. Is this? So that was like ninety seven, I guess ninety five was the last season on the show. Okay. So ninety five ninety six then I was in in and then I only stayed a year in and then came to LA so twenty fifth street. There was a couple of days on the block so refund. Oh, I didn't know that the window. I mean I cruised around on the twenty fifth to the to the Kentucky for what? What is Popeye's? There was a Popeye's there right? By train station down the block from the theater. Yeah, Apollo, right. Yeah, we get that was my weed neighborhood, but I'll tell you aimlessly walk the other direction. That's I didn't know that you lived in Harlem, and then you came out here and I came out to LA and I had a deal ready by them. I got a developmental right away. The one we on this. I never did it. I never was on this l. that was his wrote on this and now is some shit now. Now never did nothing. Nothing I, I told you before that people would say right where you want, but they just, I never did. I never. It's so crazy when you go out there and people tell fake credits ship after them. I saw people actually get stumped like a c comics, get stumped. Humane comic we go. Let's say LA comic would be triple run and he would be an extra on Star Trek. The next generation? Yeah, the MC would say, come to the stage. You've seen him inside track the next generation of that door when he gave up stage, people come up to go. You know what? I'm out Star Trek nerd when episode. Episode three thirty eight. Are you the guy. A guy that won't pass guy because how my God did you get the talk? It was crazy. It would just be. I know shitty showed a lie about because those people really do know. But any of those shows always always something the audience who geeks out on you. Do you know it's like Seinfeld was on Seinfeld was on if you episode of Seinfeld that weekend, you sold out. Wow, that's it. You sold tickets because they want like when he played the umbrella man, number dumb arose on their few time. Few times famous famous coming to Kentucky, the umbrella man Seinfeld you buying tickets, right? It's so different. Now you do you do. I mean, you can do ten episodes of showing nobody knows who the fuck you. It's so creek. Okay. Like I, I don't watch the Walking Dead. I've never seen it. So if one of those guys walked in here, I wouldn't. I would just treat him like a normal dude. I wouldn't know who it is and for somebody else that's the most famous person in the world says fame is really, it's like person to person. Now, you know, it's, it's whatever show you fucking watch. I don't watch loud TV so I don't. I don't talk in. No, right. I'm a common man. If you watch TV it's kind of like now you're you're more accessible to watch TV because you can watch Netflix Hulu when I first got into comedy in the early nineties, I stopped. TV had become something that I never watched. I have one in my apartment, but I watched like the news at five. I gotta know what TV shows on. I didn't watch TV till I came out here. I got called in NYPD blue and I said, let me I should fuck it. Watch it before I still dishing for this shit and I watched it. And that's that. That was the first time at watch TV my eight years. I, you know, I didn't watch TV at all. I didn't even have a TV until rich rich came to my apartment in LA any balmy a TV. That was the first too. I mean, I, you know, obviously been other people's houses that watch TV a little, you know. But when I came to l. a. and I started having meetings with these executives and they'd say, what TV show do you like? And I'd say Murphy Brown or some. I don't know. I didn't know what to say. I just I've never, you know, I would say this weird things that I'd heard. Just. I don't even think friends was on yet. You know or anything friends come on? I ninety seven, maybe good friends. You became a star. I should tell how she asks. Right. So there was certain shows that you did those shows that weekend before? Yeah, that weekend hot that we can friends. Yeah, that weekend. You hot in the piss. That doesn't happen anymore. Yeah. But you, you don't like whites told you before the show? I'll never forget. It used to be a girl, like a group of common girls that used to go to the impromptu hung out with a guy with a van that smoked pot in the parking lot behind the improv. We would go to parking lot and I'll never forget that one night. We were out there smoking pot and that was a night. I have a conversation me like a semi conversation about. 'cause you will with Sussman something. Yeah, that's the manager that I got. When I would suspect at the time you got rid of him something. Yes. To pay him for years after I left him. Then you had con- like actual fucking written contracts and he wouldn't let me out of the contracts. I pay him fifteen percent or whatever for years. Play. He doesn't play at all. Yeah. Rogan's managers Rogan's manager, Kevin, James, what we were talking about something fuck. I would just thinking about, that's how I got the. No, yeah. A little bit. You tell me about something you don't want, and then I just see was that somebody that would just go hand smoke path? I'm sure I would go out there and get high. Guy would event. Backdoors and we'd sit there and smoke with a guy. And one of the girls believed that that was hanging out in those days was the girl that ended up on Chelsea lately that she travels. Now, she was on the podcast talking about eating cheese, has a McDonald was out in those days. That was ninety eight adding with a long fucking legs. And we start at the improv and go to law, go always a fun girl. Always a fun girl that we go to fuck that Chinese restaurant, the legendary one on that street is today the fucking street right off of LA brea on. I think it's about Rosa, Santa Monica, two well-known Chinese place where everybody used to drink in the fifty, Steve McQueen. They just redid it. I forget now who the fuck knows. I've been in that one night and we weren't doing comedy. We just like. How is broke living in a car that you were and how was having more fun. Than like, yeah, I was living like front of ralphie's house only some nights ralphie. Let me in. Some nights you'd be sleeping ready? What do you live to that place where the most massive stairs he solidif- place where it was like the highest steepest stairs to get up to be like y round. Still broke. This is he was on. We were like, yeah, this is what he was in Doug Stanhope, Doug Stanhope, a friend at red, Andy, I interest and rented that apartment and he went to Alaska girl. So Doug Stanhope took it over and ralphie needed a place to stay trust me. There was no stance that ralphie broke the toilet eight time. Are you Jerry toilet like Hollywood, you know it was like a condo for like Hollywood, bad, fifties, and ralphie's dropping six pounds, cracking the toilets. We're going to get guns and the car was rubbing. He was so heavy that the car was like leaning down, like, you know, and it was like she was before room. Yeah. Any here going any 'cause I don't know what that is, and I was like, I don't. It is the pop to fucking springs that car. Let me tell you some Toyota. If you know where that car is by it and put it in your fucking showrooms, like if you go to this place in Denver, and when you walk in the showroom. They had a call with five million miles or three million Mt. Something crazy got around to Europe twice and it still ran, they would prove. So they wanted all those cars, here's ralphie's. Yes. So ralphie I think ralphie's nephew still has the foam Landgraf. He gave it to me one last comic standing. They fixed it up because it was right before that every member him talking about that he'd done a pilot for the the last comic standing. And then I was like, it was before reality shows. He was trying to explain it to me. We all live in a house. I was like, sounds awful. You know, it's like it's going to be a great show. I'm gonna do the show. That's funny j. more creative at the time. Yeah, that's how hot e was after we got in Jalen j. Moore was at the top of his fucking game for a while there. He was like on every show and and you couldn't miss it. The game, the first he played the agent. Right? And then they gave a show on FOX eight. That's why right? Right. Around became tight. And then he would ralphie with open for him on the road in that process, hem, Jay Moore had a black friend. That was really funny, but didn't do know he was a black do. That was funny and he would bound shit off people like he would like Jay would keep them around to bounce stuff. I forget what his name is. It was him in Jay that created ralphie with that extending I went to, I did. I opened one time in Vegas for Jeff Ross and ralphie was the MC. That's how long ago. And Jeff would say ralphie every night. You gotta do all your time before, Bonnie because he couldn't follow it. Even Ravi. Did five minutes after me, Jeff would have a hard time with it because he's a fucking funny who's forty. So he would do all his time before me, and then I'd have to go out there and eat it for a half hour. And then Jessica and every night we go back to Jeff's room or ralphie's remember, but you know, smoke pot and Jeff would say, hey, what about this in Ralph? It was just so good at telling him you put in your punchline before your set up, or you know, do that joke before you do that joker, here's a line, you know, just smoke, not caring about it. He wasn't like really thinking and Jeff was making notes and writing it down, and he was just good at doing that. And you know what he gonna last comic standing. He was already a headline. Yeah, that's yeah, that's why it was impossible for that fan. The win and people knew it felt weird about it, but I'm be had to go some. I don't know. I don't know what went down, but ralphie I'm doing the same with him at his house at two in the morning while he was cooking. He was the guy that told me that I had to stop playing for the back of the room. He told me, right, right, right. You know, people think that people like me like, like if I say something to leave, though, hit me with a tweet value shouldn't talk that went on, forget like the be vice. I got was all bat, like anybody who ever said something to me about my set wasn't pleasant. He was trying to help me that pleasant. Right. But that's, you know, we were the business that we're in is that there's no school or anything. How you learn is other comedians. So if the comedians that are ahead of you, don't tell you, then you know this, like there's things that you can't fuck ino- until somebody tells you about it, you know. And now everyone's so nice. It's like acting class all the time. You're great. You're great. Know. People aren't getting better. And somebody said some. We might cry because he was cooking. As he said to me, he was cooking. He was six hundred pounds, seven hundred pounds. He barely fit in the kitchen. In those days, he would have to like three sixty like a robot. The kitchen turn around and drink all his arms juice. Go crazy CoCo really. You left me swallow juice. He said to me one night that was high on coke and I fought in didn't even sleep on this floor. I just wanted my car and cried. That's how hard you hit me one night and I never held it against him because he turned me into a comic. Why did he say. He said that had blown up the room. He goes, you blew up that fact and room tonight guy. Got is funny motherfucker. And he said something he was, we were still broke. I mean, everybody would bro. I was living off 'em. He was living off his mom, somebody sending him checks. He was opening up Jay more like he was headlines. That he's restoring whatever the fuck he was cooking and he goes. You only. You're not going to get. I don't even know high set it set the stop playing to the back of the room. He goes, you're not gonna. You're gonna starve until you learn how to play the front room. Cocoa you keep playing to the back of when those people don't pay in the back. That comics and I remember looking at him like, what the fuck are you talking about playing to the back of the room? What I am not McGinn in the car and pop the car seat back and going. He's right. Tough lesson learned except when I go back there, I'm worried about with the comics, a making fun for the convicts that all the comments we get in the back before the comets, and he goes, you never see a successful comics comic. He goes, you'll never see a successful comics comic. I feel give to do a little of both. You know you don't wanna be just the guy that's selling it to you. Wanna like it's like a Doug STAN over some. He's doing a little bit of both. These still trying to make the comics laugh. You know, that was a tough lesson the twelve year Marcus, like in two thousand. But it's true. It's like you spent. You see, all these comics making that mistake kept doing it can do would fuck destroy the countless in the back of the people in the front will look at me like you're not funny, you know, like the rebound this shit, my it was just weird. Yeah, the audience would because all the congress will come in the back. They improv Andy killer. Go on all accounts of laughing, and and this was what the audience was doing. They just kept Turner looking like what these people laughing at, like we don't get what is going on at. We be like losing shit back that that was some advice he game me. He told me throw a joke out once. Which you know those jokes that you gotta emotionally attached to. He was like, I know you think it's funny, but it's fucking horrible. Something crazy that was like she's Christ and you know, I never wanted to punch him. Call him fat, vital. You know, like I get it because he's a head of the listen to that and your life. I'm nice sale the time where like, you know, the the, the quickest way to get unfunny is to get fans, you know? I mean, like once you start playing to people that Ardi like you, it's like it's so easy to fall into that trap. That's why comedians they get really big. A lot of times have a hard time staying sharp 'cause they never have to like work through that. You know, Ma-maybe Shia. Mushir you got, you got to any fans are fucking started playing to the fans and started fucking with me. Then in what was fucking with me. And even when I shot the meth wakes, it was fuck with me. Then after Netflix on the plane ride, it hit me like a punch to the fucking mouth and nose. And I was like fucking around for the last three years. I'm going back to Saint shit. I wanna say, fuck. Yeah, I don't give a fuck about the consequences. I'm fifty. Five thing is that it's always a little bit of this a little bit of what they're gonna say. You're not gonna like you gonna laugh if you yourself, appreciate that more than anything else. I've seen guys that do a movie that have no comedic talent at all, and they go on stage bomb for forty minutes, but they tell shit about themselves and the people happy. Right. As long as you yourself, right. All they wanna say, right. That's what the anticipate. Some gay woman, some authenticity that's that's better than up there. And plan to them. You want to every time I watch a clean comic. I go, wow, I wish I work late and that sets me back two thousand five years. I know. But when it's hard, not it's hard. When you watch a good comic, you think, well, I should be doing that show John Malania bucking special medics, go y, what? What am I stupid? I got start right. Might that also you go into this writers trapped if it's like this? Well, you are right? So I went through that. I went through that for about two years. The last two years, and I said, fuck it. No more settlers. I'm going back to comedy store, comedy. I'm going off the flow energy. I'm starting at wherever it takes me. That's where it takes me. And if they get offended, they shouldn't have been out of fucking Thursday night. Right. I feel better now I feel liberated. You know what I was telling you. I go out every other week. I feel very liberating. Now back to back again, give you that hundred percent from cheating. If if you see me come into weeks in a row, I'm cheating right? Taking money out of your mouth. Right. I'm tired. Got, you know, well. Doing fucking our well, you do in two hours a night. Basically doing two shows, you know, I, I was at in Philly, doing the, what's it? What's that Cup call helium and I had my dog and my kid with me and I was fucking sauce debt by the end of it. I mean, I was just like, I can't. This is really hard to go out that Saturday last show doing that last hour just like are like five show. Five shows the new three show combination. I'm doing one show on Friday getting the train, though, somewhere else. And do two shows you're sitting? Yeah, I liked that combination. I really enjoy the tastic in the one show a night. Yeah, that sill to fucking. Goes to the house. And so the first one is always scratch you taking the bullet, but at least I'm gonna fucking theater now and you know, I'm trying Bonnie. I mean, you still you're working, you taking care yourself, you beautiful, got the daughter, but once the me was thrown the kitten to the mix, that's what really got to me that I didn't wanna be a comic that died. Then they had learned about why why suddenly. I already got. I already was involved in a marriage that I don't see my kid. I have no communication with my kids. She's been seventeen sixteen me and the wife just didn't didn't click. And you know, I think about it what this one I go. What I wanna trust in may with a kid twenty five years ago. No wonder, I wouldn't trust me. I was nuts when I was that kid, the kid was five, and that's when I moved away when she was five. And then we just broke it. Just it just something that bro. It's like I gave up a life to get a life as median, it's it was hard for few years. I accepted. I reached out thousand times. It's a different world and live with that now. So I didn't want to stab him with her now. So now our over extend myself with her. 'cause I see it's too little things back. Then it was. I thought it was based on money and doing show your kid. You kid just wants to land anyway, wants your attention. That's. They want to see you light up when you when they walk in the room. That's it. My whole fucking wall is an iphone x. and that is it. Giver for my wife. Let's play whatever phone. Yeah, she text me at night text me from her bed hearts and pictures shit. Yeah, but that level now where I'm I'm only I'm only for Sunday. Dennis? Yeah, there's a rule in my house. We gotta be Sunday Denning in eat like a family, and then I watch my sixty minutes. Well, I feel I think there's a thing where people, you know, it's all about making a big, but really, I honestly think the sweet spot is making medium because when you, if you're if you're going to be a star people realize the amount of fucking effort, it takes to make it to that level and to maintain it. At that level, you've got to be working and thinking about it all the time. And so if you wanna have a life where you know like. Kid and you have family and you have these like, you know, actual real relationships in and you know you, you really there should be more. Everyone always says in this country dream big dream big. It should be like, you know. Try to pay your mortgage and then spent some time in your family. That's, I don't know. I mean, it sounds cheesy, but it's no, it's not cheesy. It's really a limb explains, gee, I love then. Nobody knows what? Fuck I, I love it. I love it. The people hate to break it to him. I don't know if you know how many Twitter followers you have no people in over the fuck I am. They've apples Twitter followers of coming on. They moved onto other shit like that. But it's so weird. How. I couldn't imagine doing a Louis CK or Kevin Hart. That's not the me, right. I even feel uncomfortable like the wilda theater is as big as I like it. That's anything after that it's to echo we, I feel the people uncomfortable, I, it was up to me I'm I would just do two hundred seat room. Right? Of course. It fucking. Yeah, but you two hundred fifty eight when I can't imagine doing twenty thousand what is. I mean I guess I don't. So I get it. I get it like they say, if you do the garden anyway, you know, make no money. Don't make no money at the head of the night. When you add up the tickets in the money, the union takes half of its New York City baby. You're, they want, you know, fifty. Just if you walked in there, then security them, it's advertising. Oh, yes, I guess. So when the people do the garden, like they don't do it, do it for the to say I guard. Yeah, but it's it's one of those things where you know you need to do like nineteen fucking show. Like when I was going to New York county festival, he made me an offer. There was no money, right? I couldn't believe it like there was no money like they were like twenty five thousand for advertising. What are you talking about? We have MAs. Yeah. When you send the signals to get it Puerto Rican little flags, right, right, right. Chit, they seventies when he was stuck island boat. I don't give a fuck twenty five grand, you know. So you think of all the flag. Leg guys, they would stand up and give each other signals. Do all that shit went to the garbage man. I want to know what happened. The Morse code. I was tremendous cope. I was washing. The fuck is in Australia that take. I do more code when I was a kid. That is. Zain that the talk to people who you gotta know they would pick back. I don't know. I didn't know what the fuck was going on case you're kidnapping. Titanic. Is Moore's code thing in your house? You said, fuck and signals to people. People are you. You that fucking all that I knew how to send more signals when you were in the seventies thought you had to do that. Shouldn't grammar school? I think really? Yeah. That that that that you live at new, the flags in case your boat, broke them. You send signals how to do SOS. I can't even imagine you wanna boat. Yeah. Yeah. You gonna win on shit as a kid, New York City, but I was fucking king Amores code. I could send out fucking he still now at, you think, oh, I forgot all shit. Nice. Little pig Latin to when I was a kid. Seek my mother taught me how to teach. He thought she'd go all shit. Lee isn't. It used l. y. the end firm conducting Cray why nobody was spent. It's wise. So you're doing you're doing. Do. Dodgy toll some fucking shit. I was all confused as a kid, send them more signals, the paper Morris, fucking coat that was how bad the Boehner was tick, tick, tick. There was like a whole little chart and you dislike with people sitting the most, they could trace your calls. You know, there was no call waiting. There was no nothing. This is straight up. People. Walkie talkies where we'd sometimes get somebody on there. Oh, you remember the Pittsburgh? Funny Boone, yeah, the guy was a fucking pervert. Yeah, he was creepy. He had lawn furniture for fuck in the. He had sued the funny bone in broke away from them, so he could do whatever the fuck you one. So the poll Baugh was pictures of naked women, you know artistically taken by him, but you could tell this motherfucker was Harvey junior because he had a couple of the head bushes, shit. But this guy only winter rich yelling, what they're rich. Okay. He had a room so like Thursday, he was too cheap, the pay the radio, but one guy light them and they put your AM sports and then Friday you went to his house and you, you gotta see now dog he had something like ham, radio. This is nineteen. Ninety five on the longest yard came out. I probably went from ninety five ninety eight on a CB radio. He would sit in my told him. I said, what time we first podcast he had the bucket truckers. Something only three or four people listen to it. I'm telling you the truth of his basement and we would sit there and it was with come on AM and nobody would listen to it because I asked him like any movement in the people. I know it's terrible. He's terribly does. No, he's doing what he amendment will. When the last time I went, they we got into a fight over that podcast because I said, listen, we gotta go eat and he's like, I told you, I don't give what you talking about the phones off. I said, throw me on. I don't give a fuck. Get me the fuck out him forty years old. A CB ham, radio to fuck. And there wasn't even a podcast and it was ninety six guys ninety seven ninety eight to fuck Atty and that was it after that. He never booked me again. And then I heard he sold the club. He has laid at something. Yeah, yes. Only radio station downstairs his ass. He would talk to you about the funny bone is pictures shit. He was a creepy fucking dude, man. I just wanna know what you said to poor people in Morse code. You probably imagine them. Fuck though they would get signals from me and panic. This is racial business. He's the fucking people every I was looking at my door. I'm going to my daughter last night. She's five and a half Chevy cheese. The cutest thing I was digging them out when I was doing five. I lived on eighty eighth street and my mother would give you remember yourself at five and a half. This could only be five and a half or six. Because that was still crazy was it was before I got hit with the lunchbox. I got hit in the head with the lunchbox central park, but we lived on eighty eighth street and my mother had a jukebox at the bar. So she would give me all the old records that they would take on the ball. And I knew was still to this day. People sent me pictures to five west eighty eighth street. It's the corn ability. But next it was a parking garage and we would play stickball on there and you know, handball. And there was a sign that said fallout shelter and we use it as a basketball thing. Hope you know, this is like really follow show. Yeah. The eighty in the seventies when I got him from Cuba everybody had a fallout shelter because you know the Russians, right, right. But vela's. So every building have a sign in front of it that said, fallout shelter and have like a radioactive sign and that men in case of something. You basement lock yourself in and they had like Tang and vegetables and the canned they're ready. Here and you come out with the populaces over my? Yes, they have fallout shelters and under forget that there was a garage. The kids play stickball, but the way my building was shaped, it was like it went up three stories on the third floor where I lived. Now, I could see my neighbors that w side hallway. We could see that yard where they were play. I could see them in the hear them, but they couldn't see me. So they'd be playing stickball and I'd take those fuck forty, five. So single. Whip out the window. And by the time they got the fucking bottom level, don't like a boomerang. Decapitates. Odd job from double seven didn't take. I was like. It run. I would just throw out singles out of the kids, yell, fuck is doing that. And that would do then go downstairs and ask what happened. Guest, all the KOMO Chaba some fucking somebody, strong singles. Yeah, this is crazy. Oh my God. That was such a my ship, my pants and time. Six and I would not white my ass. So my mom would take on though as staple to the front of my door. So I would bring my friends. Oh my God. I had a white my ass 'cause I would wipe my ass and she said, how do you know why your ass? I don't know. I forget some tough love there that you go k next time you fucking come up with a dirty underwear hanging on the wall. I thought she was fucking around on the top of the wall. A mom wanted stay there for a week or every time I shit my pants. He would stay up against the wall like a trophy for me to look at. How did you learn to wipe your ass. Not that I can't imagine mercy, doings mercy, a little like a little kid. Can't imagine throwing. Did you ever get caught throwing the writer Deva figure that until I, when I moved out of there till Dan moved out of the way I have like forty singles, and I would just do wait till it was a ton of kids out there on the Saturday playing like you start whipping them out. Covering out like flying and you hear the guys, fuck you die. Then also in that hallway, we life is I was like, oh. Not a pervert. IRO mania was. Listeners, if your parents or anyone lived in that area there that time someone has told the story about the records. ADA street the for like my father died when I was three, Bonnie how is lost. My mom was a single mom trying to do the best. She could. You know, she owned the ball. She made good money, but those years I put row, I look at my daughter and gonna pay for all those sins. Since I did to my mom those years, fucking cruel, like the shit. You can only really come to terms of this shit when you have a kid right? Then you start thinking about your mom. Do I really do? I look at it last night. I remember thrown singles out the back fucking window. I go downstairs and people be cut ahead, be cut on fire. I would set newspapers on fire anything, get set on fire in those days. I love fire to as a kid. I loved five and I would set five everyday like anything that's light on fire around the corner, either lighter I figured out how to get a lighter and I would lie to find like the kids that I hung out with on a hundred lane. Later lane around, I stole stole. Yeah. So one day it was in behind that building the building next to it. If you went around the back, there was stand down to the basement and we would go back there and do shit. One Nagwa start a file being two other kids, three other kids, and we put once a newspaper back, then we let this fire those days. I would like to fire intern MP on it like I was back wile and turned the fire off. And this one, this fire and this hallway like it was just a single person to walk down the stairs. And it was outside. It wasn't inside the building before fucking new at the fi- just blew up and I might have piss about a an all my buddies are out of pets. What are we gonna get the fuck outta forget running upstairs and locking myself in the dog. Watching the fire department, go back there and turn off the fucking fly like crazy. Turn off the fire turnout. Aiming sound so easy. It was just a little file got her. Stay away. They just. United. We put like a tree every day. We got a little cocky uses. Yeah, was a little how your entire plan which just appear on it. That too. But I was just a little pyro. I loved it. What are you? Got your daughter? We got time here. I, I make sure I got that. 'cause rich, really, you know, he's me before coming in to talk about the roast. He's he said, if you don't talk about the rose, I'm gonna kill you. The roast somebody, light worries, Rick. Vostro dot com. It's fucking hilarious. So for his sixtieth birthday, we we did that roasts of him with all his, you know, his friends, Jim Norton, yes, tremendous and whatever. I don't know. He wants. I don't know what to say about. It was good. It was really. We tweeted from my water wanted. I think it was five dollars, four dollars three. Yeah, it's video. It's five bucks to rent it, but you might as well buy for ten because you're gonna wind wind, your watch it. My wife is a big ridge of fan. She's an American Indian, right? So one night me and my wife will have regular conversation with Dayton, living room. It was no kidding future. I think I was still doing blow and I'm ready to go out and rich vases on some, you know, Colin Quinn show that show tough crowd. He's talking shit by something he goes. I did when I was a kid teach you tell me to go. Lay down Indian style, so I would go away the gutter with a bottle of, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get a bottle of compensation with somebody and you both something like we both have they wanna lab because she's American Indian what we both bus to that and then riches like my wife's favour. Fucking crazy. See that goes against everything. We've been taught recently. My wife found love with rich after joke. And then Rogan told me a couple of things about Caroline that said when night, like a longtime ago that today rich got thrown prison. If you want to. Enrich and rich went up the road knows watch this. Those things like broken Richmond, throwing the watch this. Isn't it funny that fuck in. Sure you say Schick was to chick. I forgot who I forget the joke. I'm just going to kill it. So forget about, well, he's I know, like, you know, actually for the roast, we went and interviewed richest friends, and you know, 'cause everybody hated rich when they first met him as we made this little video. You know them saying the first time they met rich and you know, it's like there's so many black comics that were like I saw him on stage. I said, who's is fucking white guy because he used to do all black rooms. You know, that's that's where he started up and he would go after this little fucking Jew and and and they said it watching for few minutes and then they'd go all this guy's got fucking balls. Then they'd like, after that, you know. I think that's his appeal is that he just I even see it now at these, you know, politically correct audiences is that rich goes up and then they try to bully you, you know, into to to to not saying or doing what they think you shouldn't say you're do, and that noise doesn't bother it. He doesn't carry, doesn't hear it or he doesn't notice it, and he just does what he wants to do. And at some point, the is just goes man. Oh, well, he's not gonna Jay Richardson type of time with the return on them. Richard step on the pedal along. Yeah, yeah. Old school type. Oh, you didn't like that Joe? Yeah. Well, I got another one to really get your pants on fire, and if you cut wife, don't like that joke. Wait thought the joke after that one. Yeah, she's gonna shit fucking pants. You might as well leave right now. Once you have that type of, he's been doing it thirty years to funding his bones thirty. Yeah. Do any room spent torture, take him to different emotions. That's what you do at that level. At that level, you take him, you control them like a puppeteer. You wouldn't really control it to push him a little bit. Listen to all my audiences like you just set him up link. Correct. I don't give a fuck about right. So you'll come. They'll come around because they're like, well, I guess that's, I guess, ABC bitch. Yeah, you know what? You got stuck on the wrong channel like stuck on Telemundo and you can't. Telemundo you can't find the remote. You'll know what the fuck. Why will this lady stop speaking Spanish on my TV. Yeah, that's me. I don't give a fuck. I'm not gonna stop. You know whether it's the comedy store, you know, I'm doing the laugh factory with Dom tomorrow. You stumbling natoma night. You're tourist. You know you like, oh my God. This is where been they cook shirt these yet. I don't. Variety of the I have to stay at home if you want it to be saved. You know what? The fuck. I was doing thirty six years ago. It wasn't put my hand the women's mounts. It was fucking gonna. Gay clubs, get drugs. It was robbed. Drug dealers. There was not a fucking day apiece, right? I quit high school in eighty one. I quit high school not told a baby one. That was that started a tweet thing. Then the with me Robyn clicking Joey store going to Sarasota Florida. This is just yes, that's what I was doing. Nineteen ever went to jail. I went to jail ninety seven eighty eight arrested. Secondly, Burghley, but it was kidnapping aggravated robbery. Yet I went deep like rich us. Go deep on those drugs. Then you, you know, you wake up one day and whatever, but time will you can't come to me now and say that I rob you with a fuck him. I robbed Georgia MacOS gas station with a water pistol in nineteen eighty one with a water pistol with a wide put. I I paint a water pistol. I took a water pistol. Just put tape around tape. You make it look, shiny known. You drill out the whole. The whole Bill because a lot of times we show up but the gun with low. The fucking. I will you tell for Bonnie. I leave Friday more spots. Are you? I'm doing some spots of the store doing a couple at the improv, and then I'm doing just a bunch of meetings and stuff and promoting you still got dot com. Boss and my wife as me podcast, my wife as me, yeah, we still do that. We've you put will not. We do too. We do want for patriot and when regular Gocha. No, and doing podcasts, you're great on them. I don't mind doing them. I sometimes I think like when rich and I do it soon as I get embarrassed like it feel like we're putting all our shit out there. He loves it. He doesn't care. He's got no boundaries, you know, and sometimes the jury in a fine. Then after sometimes I lay on my bed and go, what did we talk about? Like we'll have full blown fucking marital fights on that podcast was all about. That's people want to. That's why people tune in. Cool. Wants to talk about the couple that takes kid to the pool, then life is happy. Right? That's fucking television. That doesn't get people going through that right now. So when you guys are actually going through that people listen to you thought, I thought my marriage was banned. I think we do. Right me all the time and say, like, I hugged my wife today. We make people feel better about their marriage. But you know, we've been, we've been married thirteen years and you know it's Sunday. See people get divorced. They say, what the fuck has that happen? The we're still together, but you know what it is. He just still really fucking makes me laugh at guy even in the middle of a fight. Sometimes we'll both just bust out laughing. He's now then we'll get right back to the fight. You know, we don't. We don't let go of it, but you look happy, Hewlett. Great man. He's a good guy. Yeah, guy. God bless him. I'm fifty five and I'm like, I really want to be at sixty one. God bless him. I call him a few weeks quit. No, he was somewhere it just as I call them e just got to Kentucky. He was pissed. Yeah, he was passing. I made him laugh and I said, good. Yeah, Kentucky. What's going on? I it's a great club. That's a great club. Comedy on Broadway. That's a tremendous little club. They got ducks outside. What are you. Ducks pissed off about you got the world by the balls bane onstage you like New York living in New York. You miss LA at all. You have. Sometimes, but no, I have no regrets. I, you know, there was a, you know, I just done an HBO special, and then I moved to the middle of New Jersey and had a baby. And sometimes I feel like that was probably not the best career move, but then I came around to like, I have all this, you know? I mean, I really do have a nice life. I've, you know, when you stop comparing yourself to others, I know sounds so fucking cheesy, but it really do such realize like, oh my God, I got all this free time during the day too. Right. And you know, I did all this stuff one day. I was like, went to the dry cleaners, and I was doing Aaron after Aaron. I told rich all the things I did. I said, I just stopped and I was like, oh my God. People do that and have a fulltime job. It's like it's like, really, you know, doesn't stop. Either remind doesn't stop today. I had a great night's sleep west. Oh my God. I didn't move for eight. Nice. Those. Those are rare. I took a nap in the afternoon. I fo- sleep on the plane on the way back from Boston. Last night was just broken and I got up to smaller and with Fatima, my eye. All right. Seven wasn't a bad nominal mood, but I was fucking ready to go. Yeah, yeah, stop. I went from one move to the next the next. The next acupuncture I knew you're gonna call me as soon as I laid that goes. You wanna get that thing. I know what you're doing. Thirty ended. I go because I was going in that after I fly usually go to acupuncture Monday and it works yet. He cleans me the fuck out even told me, oh yeah, you can tell you because he does the computer. You hold the to the to magneto the first, and then he goes through your body and he could tell me what's going on. He said you got the problem digestive. Yeah. 'cause I travel swears by I gotta try. This is probably thirteen years I'm on it mile my ankles when I first started going my ankles really thick. I had a problem with circulation. That's the money. That's why Chinese people to be. That's why they smoke more cigarettes, but there's less cancer that because. The bodies more oxygen jaded, plus they do Taichi. They just go outside and pushed the ad. That's gotta do something for you. Daichi you look beautiful. You know, I'm happy still doing fucking thing. You know. I like doing stand of, you know, as I still do it every weekend now right now look at the life, you Levy, would you train that into being human to put a fucking a target on your back. I was. I was when I got at the company which is to save me. Yeah, I didn't expect anything or what everything has been a cherry on Sunday, so I take it for what is right now. You know, like all after net flicks come down, go, listen. I'm still sticking to the same schedule. Right? To tell everybody the agency like it's great, but well, that's the thing you gotta push so hard to get to that level still sticking to the same level because that's the level that I work at the best right. For me, it's all about being creative. I want to just be created every time I wanna go on stage. I wanna feel enthusiastic. It's like, dude, I watched that molly's game. Does she quotes that dude? And she goes, success is moving from area from area to area with full enthusiasm? Yeah, and it really is Tuesday's Monday, do a podcast, fucking great. I don't even I wouldn't even consider would stand up tonight. I don't care what you pay me. I'm focused on the fuck podcast to that. So Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, my podcast days. Right. And then on the weekend, you do comedy and then for a week, I'm fucking dad straight. I'm karate. I'm fucking full show and I'm enthuse at every level. I mean time you should at your daughter's thing, but she was a kid go one of my doing my life. Our fucking ballet class. I, yeah, I wasn't that thrilled about the dance class all that shit's. But guess what you gotta do that. What I refills. You refuels you the twenty minutes. I went to my life. I get material. I think if things I got a lot of material plus she gets older. She's gonna be such a great sounding like I've always wanted a friend that just hung out and you do bits all day with. And that's what I have. I have an eleven year old that loves by can do bits all day, you know? So it's like we go to the park, we hang out, it's pushing them into comedy now. Now now I don't think kids. I don't like I don't like when kids want to be in show business. We agree on that one. I don't like it's fucking creepy. Crips these fucking kids out forever. It's too creepy. Even threes on the sitcom for these kids is traumatizing. They see a world different view. They have had that. It's like it. If fucks with this natural order of things, adults aren't supposed to be talking to an hanging on your every word like you're the smartest person in the room. You know, when you're the star of show, even if you're only fourteen, that's what everybody does. You know their jobs depend on it. What days? The podcast. It doesn't matter. You know, we, we don't. We just do it whenever we can do it and put it out. So what a week, usually it's Wednesday or Thursday, but you have a lot of dates coming up. I work mostly in New York on the weekends. A New York area? Yeah. You stay jersey you to the tour? Yeah, anyway. Yes. Works every week in jersey. I'm fucking. Does Evan, Evan, the Reverend fucking savages basket. Raging Bob, Levi's the what? He's the driving force of that tricky. Really. He's a savage, this average like there in jersey every fucking week. I love it. Yeah, I finally jersey I would go on a mentor. Yeah, that's it. It's a tour jersey every week in some fucking different may jersey and jersey. Not what it used to be that politically correct motherfuckers now, in jersey, I used always the Kobo jersey still is, is nobody's ever been like, oh, about a joke in jersey. Feel like that's true. Hoboken cyz the Hoboken to hoboken's comedy. Have weekly, some weekly shit there, but still the club is the stress factory in New Jersey. I will have a show there once a month. I, I, I'm actually supposed to be there on the third, but the first Wednesday of every month show them. Yeah, with the Allie Mae. Okay. So coup for you? Buddy. Great. The ceiling. This is awesome. I spoke the fuck in the your husband aide told me will come out and go, listen, you know, she's always welcome. Looking. Thanks, God bless. Thank God. I saw great. Haven't seen. It's weird that we've talked about ralphie little bit. We found out that this week is one year anniversary. So it was was bittersweet, even to the podcast will dedicate it to him. So it was great to see you again. I'll see you mother fuckers next weekend in West Palm Beach. I'm just doing Friday and Saturday and two weeks after that. The twenty fifth of the twenty seven a Laverty in Cleveland with my man George Perez. All right one. Thank Bonnie McFarlane becoming. Don't forget. She's over at the stress factory. The first Wednesday, very much. He's a sweetheart. I'm so happy. We got around the show today, but let me talk to you real quick about something. Sure. Watching football is fun, but it's more entertaining when you have some action on the games. Right. Listen, I used to be like a part time to generate Gamla. Unlike paying the book make it was between Shawn coke, a pain. The bookies I decided to stop coke, but I can't watch game if I don't bet it. So you're talking about this for weeks and somebody is stone the silence. Whether you're an expert or a rookie you should be betting at my bookie. If you're the guy likes about a little bit and win a lot, like playing a numbers on the roulette. You can create a big pilot, pick three teams to win it. If you hit all three, you'll. Turn a hundred dollars into six hundred dollars. The holidays are coming Cox. It's not just football. You can bet on anything this weekend. You've got the fight, right kind of Greg steps into the act of God against Khabib you can do. You can bet it straight up a, whether hell could be knock them out in the first round. You could better budget things. I recommend my book because I really trust them. That's what this is the one bed. I know you'll be happy with all season long. Now, my book has been in business for years. They got great online reviews, and then mobile site is easy peasy to use that if you're on the sidelines now is the time to get the game. It's told you ready. Listen, this is the way to go. This is the time to get the game, but my bookie will still match your first deposit dollar for dollar. That means if you put a genome and then they'll give you Gino, but you got gotta join today because they're pulling that offer soon log into my bookie right now right now today right now. It's Monday night full at least put a bed. I'm wondering what he's sitting there like Mook for use promo code church. H h and you'll get the first deposit matched one hundred percent. That's promo code church c. h.. H h you play, you win, you get paid. So you put two hundred accounta- you get four hundred to win to play with this week, the kind of McGregor go to my bookie. All right, right now in w money use promo code church c. h. u. r. c. h. and you'll get your first deposit matched at one hundred percent. That's my bookie I wanna thank my bookie. I wanna thank on it, but most importantly I want to thank you guys. Don't forget a West Palm Beach. Next Friday and Saturday had to cut Thursday at a meeting town and then the following week, the twenty fifth twenty six and twenty seven. I'm at the Cleveland laboratories ready rock and roll. My brother -joyed Peres. Listen, have a great weekend. Stay black, Joey legit. Kick this fucking merely. Six. Was. The. Six.
The Church of What's Happening Now
Aired 2 months ago 18:21
AEE 1054: I Know This Is Short Notice- How to Fast Track Your Order in English
...trip to Strasbourg or to Marseille or somewhere that's a train trip from Paris. You know, it's so nice that the train works. So well. Yeah. Oh, that's something is I'm trying to like imagine being in your shoes right ...
All Ears English Podcast | Real English Vocabulary | Conversation | American Culture
Aired 4 months ago 33:30
Episode 95: Out of Sight
The sun above them was hot and bright. When the three children wandered off to play in a nearby field, they were siblings, one boy and two girls. The children of a local railroad guard in the city of Gloucester England. The field was one of their favorite places to go during the day, but they always returned home by dinnertime. On this particular summer day in nineteen. Oh six, though dinner arrived without the children, their parents, Mr. MRs von grew worried enough to call for the authorities to come help them beginning that very night. A search party was formed to locate the missing children. They finished their night of searching, empty handed, not a single clue had been found that might hint at where the children had gone or if they'd been taken by militias stranger. But these were their children and parents rarely give up hope so quickly. They searched the following day and a third day as well. After that, though, things were beginning to look bleak. On the fourth day, a farmer was ploughing field close to the one that children had been plane. When he noticed something in the ditch along northeast side, it was the forms of the missing children lane peacefully in the note. But they weren't dead. They were sleeping after waking them up and taking them home. The children's surprised everyone with a shocking story. They had no memory of the past four days, even forty years later, the sun was still unable to offer an answer to the riddle of their disappearance. Things go missing, whether it's a sock in the dryer, your car keys or an entire person every now. And then things just sort of slipped through the cracks and vanish. Thankfully, like the children Gloucester. A lot of those missing things are eventually found. But if we come through the pages of history will come face to face with something worse, something tugs at our darkest fears and leaves us feeling unsettled. Sometimes people vanish. And they're never seen again. I'm Erin minke and this is Lor. Let me just say right from the start. That history is so full of disappearances that I'm not going to come anywhere close to discussing all of them from the legendary ninth Roman legion and the Roanoke colony to the Mary Celeste and Amelia Earhart. The floor of history is so littered with disappearances that it's a miracle, none of us trip and hurt ourselves. What's become clear is that the most powerful disappearance stories are the ones that involve people that family member who's never seen again or the public figure that seems to vanish into thin air lost objects and ancient colonies, lack the emotional weight that we feel when a local man goes missing. And that's where I want to focus today. Benjamin Bathurst was born into the upper crust of British society. His father was the Bishop of Norwich. Then after finishing his education, he began work for the crown as a diplomatic envoy. He traveled to Vienna in the spring of eighteen o nine and was part of the group of advisers that helped convince Holy Roman Emperor Francis. The second declare war on France. Things didn't work out in the emperor's favor and Bathurst head find a way to retreat home to London. He decided that travelling north through French occupied, Germany would be his safest bet. So in November of eighteen, oh nine. He and friend named cross set off toward Humber on the twenty. Fifth of November, though their plans fell apart. That was the day they reached the city of pair lemberg just eighty miles from their destination. The two men stopped for an early dinner at the white swan in and had the horses on their carriage changed out. Then thinking it would be safer for them to travel in the dark of night. Bathurst headed back down to the carriage around sunset to continue the journey. He and Krause inspected the horses and watched as workers from the in reloaded their luggage. The two men were just a few feet apart when bath her stepped out of you to climb into the carriage and a moment later Krause followed him when he looked inside it, though he was shocked to find it empty. Bathurst had vanished. Crouse claims that he searched the entire area around the carriage and even had guards block off the street. So they could stop anyone who might have kidnapped his friend try as he might. He was never able to find Bathurst. The man had been there one moment but was gone. The next. Decades later and six hundred miles to the west. A group of men were traveling home from the pub at the end of a night of drinking in the Warwickshire town of lemming spa. The three men Barham wise Hemmer CIN burns, and James Warsun were all seated in the same carriage, laughing and trading stories when worse and made outrageous claim. He bragged that he was a gifted long distance runner. He could run for miles and miles without slowing down or tiring. Even after a night at the pub is to friends refuse to believe him without a demonstration. So they stopped the carriage and told him to get out. They told Warsun to run the rest of the way home and they would follow behind him to see it with their own eyes. Reluctantly worsen agreed. Even after all the drinking partaken in back in the pub worsen put on a powerful show according to the story, he set a steady pace and began the long run back to their home in Coventry, ten miles to the north all the while. Burns and wise stayed behind him in the carriage following along from a short distance. A handful of miles into the demonstration. Something happened that left worsens friends stunned and afraid they were watching worse and runs straight down the middle of the country lane. When all of a sudden the man tripped on something they couldn't see. He stumbled waved his arms in panic and then fell to the ground. And vanished. When burns and wise caught up to the place where worse in trip, they expected to find their friend laid out in a ditch. The mazing Lee, though there was no sign of him. They searched the sides of the road and called out for worse to end the practical joke. But no matter how long they stayed there and searched for him. He never turned up. The police were called to help in the search as you might expect. But according to the story burns and wise never found their friend, he tripped over something then slipped into nothing and was never heard from again. He was a rising star in his country's military. And now everyone had gathered in the town square to catch a glimpse of him. He was a man of the people a newly minted captain and night in France's prestigious legion of honour. If ever there was someone deserving of respect it was him. The trouble was everyone was gathered to see him branded as a fief, not a hero. You see heat arrived in the city of danza a few months earlier and had settled in as the guest of a local business owner. We don't know the shop owners name, but we do know that he Delton fancy goods, whatever that might mean and was also in the middle of a bit of a business slump as such. The man had no employee's. So he enlisted the help of this esteemed military guest. It was sometime during his service over those many weeks in the merchant's shop that one of the valuable signet rings went missing. It was small and the captain was trustworthy. So the merchant assume that had just been lost under a box or cabinet. It would turn up again. He was sure of it, and it did many weeks later. The merchant took a Sunday morning stroll through the city marketplace while he was there. He bumped into an old friend and the two men exchanged greetings and a handshake. And that's when the merchant noticed the man's ring. Where did you get that? He asked motioning toward his friends hand this the friend said, holding up the ring. I bought it off a soldier. If you can believe that it only costs me five dollars. The merchant proceeded to explain that the ring had once belonged to him but had gone missing putting the pieces together. The two men came to the startling realization that the entire episode had. Been an act of theft by that well, respected member of the legion of honour, captain. Fritz also Bangor. The events moved quickly after that the captain was arrested and brought before the governor where confession was made. A trial was set up and also hangar was brought before a local general for a court martial. Finally, a confession was drawn up and the captain willingly signed it. All that was left was for him to be stripped of his rank and removed from the military, which would happen the following day in front of his entire garrison. The town square filled with thousands of curious onlookers when all Spangler was led out into the center, his military uniform was stripped of all its markings badges and honors which were then piled together on a cushion and carried away women fainted and fellow soldiers openly wept, the noble life of captain. Fritz all Spangler had been literally and figuratively dismantle. That's when I'll Spangler asked to speak. He turned to the general and then made the most amazing declaration. I am not for. It's also hangar. He said, I am Diederik the son of a tradesman from Strasbourg. The crowd was stunned as was the general. He looked at the man who had just been stripped of his entire military career paused, and then extended a hand, explain yourself. He said. The tail the man began to we for them was stunning three years prior. He had just completed seven years as an apprentice to shoemaker in Strasbourg, wanting something new for himself. He left the city and joined up with a small group of Romani after traveling south. For some time, they eventually found themselves in the Italian city of Lequiller stopping in a local lemonade shop for drink. He discovered all of the seats were occupied with military officers, and all of them were watching him intently moments later, one of the soldiers stood and approached and that's when Dietrich saw the man's face and he froze. The two men looked so alike that they could have been twins. They spent some time marveling at this and when all Spang or discover that Dietrich was in search of job, he offered him one the following day Diederik became the officers valet. Life after that was interesting to say the least I'll spend love to use their near identical appearance for amusement. Sometimes the two would swap clothing, so that aspect or could have more fun and enjoy the non-military life and to give Dietrich a taste of a bit more power and admiration. It was an entertaining life and at least Dietrich. It was a major step up no longer. Was he the unemployed, former apprentice to Strasbourg, shoemaker? He was valet to well known and well respected Lieutenant and that had changed everything for him. But now here he was convicted of a crime that resulted in the utter destruction of another man's reputation. Which begged the obvious question if Fritz banger wasn't a man standing before them, then where was he. It turns out was dead. It happened after a long night of drinking Diederik helped his master home on a cold wet autumn nights of, oh, he practically had to drag him also being complained of powerful headache and seem delirious and unaware of his surroundings. After the officer was safe in bed. The valet gave him a cool drink and then retired to his own room for the night. In the morning Diederik claims. He entered all spangles room at the usual our to prepare a morning drink for him, but found the man to be pale and unmoving stepping closer. It became obvious why I'll Spangler was dead, whether it had been some sort of illness or perhaps a heart attack, Dietrich didn't know. But he knew he had to act quickly. Before anyone else in the building was awake. He dragged his former master's corpse into his own quarters where he dressed the man in his clothing. Then he quickly dashed back to also hangers bedroom, dressed himself in uniform and started his day as the other man after a short while he faked annoyance at his valets tardiness and sent someone to fetch him naturally, they found him cold and dead. Like farm boy, taking over the role of the dread. Pirate Roberts Dita recapped assumed the life of Fritz. Also winger. He took over every bit of it from his duties in the military to friendships with the other officers, and thanks to the fact that the two men had been nearly identical appearance. It worked. Of course that had been two years before his arrest theft. So the general and governor were intrigued to know what he hit been doing. All that time. Diederik explained that soon after he received orders to travel to France. And since that moved him closer to home and farther from the people who had known all Spang are intimately. He jumped at the chance along the way he was even promoted to captain thanks to his commitment to his role and responsibility. As an officer. The only hitch in the entire charade was the visit. He paid to his mother. She didn't necessarily suspect him of being an impostor, but she certainly noticed he was much less affectionate toward her. A mother always knows doesn't she. When they led Dietrich away to return to his jail cell, the people gathered around were left in stunned silence some even wept at the tragedy of it all. But none of that change the current charges of theft to which she had freely admitted guilt. All of the details of his story were sent off to emperor Napoleon for a decision and the waiting began. When word arrived. There was good news and bad news on the positive side. Napoleon didn't believe that Diederik had murdered also anger on the other hand, though he was still guilty affect in fraud according to the story. He was branded as a thief in the area of his back between his shoulder blades and then locked up in a local prison. The plan was to keep him there for just a short while and then transport him to another prison in western France where he would work as a slave on board. One of the naval ships within months of his trial, though the French empire began to crumble around them. And as a result that transfer never happened. By eighteen fourteen the city was in the hands of the Prussians and as they began the task of taking on the duties of running the various branches of government, one of the things they did was review the prison records. As far as I can tell everything seemed normal and above board except for one problem. The prisoner listed as Diederik was noted with one simple word missing. As the story goes months before the arrival of the Prussians, the guards were escorting a group of prisoners across the open yard of the complex. They were walking in single file hands, chained together with a longer chain, connecting them to each other and right there in full view of everyone around him. Diederik began to fade out of sight. That's the story anyway. And while it sounds like a scene pulled straight out of Star Trek film, it probably does a lot of what folklore has done for us over the years. It takes a kernel of truth and repackages it for a more entertaining storytelling experience. Looking back historians think that the more likely reason he was listed as missing was that he somehow managed to escape scribbling escaped in the margin of the prison. Logs would have been a lot more embarrassing, so they decided to go with missing. Honestly, all he needed to do was get over the wall. The harbor below the prison would have provided him the perfect place to hide until ship could carry him away. In a sense Diederik disappeared the day. He swamped clothing with the corpse of Fritz. Also hanger is old life vanished while the life of his master continued on with a new actor running the show in while we'll never know for sure how he disappeared from that prison in dancing, whether it was some sort of supernatural evaporation or just a good old fashioned prison break. It's clear that he lived out one of our greatest fears when he did it. You went missing. It's almost terrifying just how easy it is for people to disappear. We go through life thinking of ourselves as so permanence and immovable and yet, well, we're not. Sometimes life can carry us away like a river dragging debris toward a new destination. Other times, it's the darker side of humanity that causes those disappearances such as kidnapping or murder. People vanish whether we like it or not. Sometimes though time reveals the answers, it can be like a strong wind that blows the sand back revealing the truth buried beneath it, take Benjamin Bathurst. For example, after he disappeared in eighteen nine odd clues started to turn up. His pants were found in the woods outside of town. They had bullet holes in them, but no blood and there was a letter to his wife in the pocket stranger. A coat that was thought to belong to him was discovered in the private home of an employee of the white swan in where he'd been stain. That might sound like nothing more than a bit of on the job theft. But one final piece of information makes me wonder if something more wasn't going on. You see in eighteen twenty five a house in the same town was demolished so that a new one could be built. A previous owner of the house had been yet another employee of the white swan in, but they found something more significant buried in the dirt. Of the original foundation than coat. They found a skeleton Benjamin Bathurst might have disappeared. But at the end we have people to blame for it. Now magic. And remember our long distance runner. James worsen his story. First appeared in a collection of tales published in nineteen thirteen. By an American writer named Ambrose beers. In fact, it was one of many stories he published over the years that involved people who mysteriously disappear in while that doesn't necessarily mean the worsens amazing run was entirely fictional. There's no other evidence to prove it wasn't Ambrose beers. If you've never heard of him was the guy who wrote an occurrence at Al creek bridge a story. I remember being forced to read in high school. He was born in eighteen forty two and worked as a journalist for a number of years, including foreign abolitionist newspaper. Then the civil war broke out and he joined the union army. After the war was over, he continued his career as a writer while he was mostly known for his journalism, his fiction helped inspire countless others, HP lovecraft cited beers as a catalyst for his own writings. Thanks to his many horror themed short stories. Hemingway held him in high regard as well. All in all his writing career was groundbreaking and influential. At the age of seventy. One beers decided to revisit all of his old civil war, battle sites. It was the sort of thing people do when they want to reflect and reminisce those few years of military service had become core to who he was and he wanted to stand in those places. One last time. He left Washington DC by train in October of nineteen thirteen, and began the long slow journey, south and west, stopping at each important site along the way. You wrote letters home and spoke to journalists in various cities. He visited in New Orleans. He told the reporter that he planned to keep traveling south into Mexico, perhaps to join up with Pancho via and the Mexican revolution. I like the game. He said, I like fighting, I want to see it. The old soldier in him must have gotten what he wanted to in late December of nineteen thirteen. He wrote a letter to a friend from the Mexican city of two, our as to me, he wrote, I leave here tomorrow for an unknown destination. And that was it over a century later, historians are still unsure what that new destination might have been and what transpired along the way. Like so many of his literary characters. Ambrose beers slipped out of the world and into the unknown evangelist and was never heard from again. tales of disappearing. People have a way of unsettling us whether the causes mundane or something more on explainable, and we've explored a number of those today. After this short sponsor break, I want to share one last story with you. This one has the flavor of the remarkable and while it's truth is highly debatable, it's just the right mix of intriguing and entertaining stick around here it in a moment. This episode of lore was made possible by each and every one of you and by whine access all the best wines have a story behind them. But more often than not, you can't find these amazing handcrafted bottles in your local store. Thankfully, wine access is here to change all of that. Why access believes that there are wineries out there offering higher quality wine at better prices than you'll find in most stores for nearly a decade. Their team of experts have tasted thousands of bottles from all over the world just to select the very best for you. And what I love the most about wine access is that they share more than just great wines at great prices. They shared the stories to my wife and I enjoyed each of the bottles we ordered, but they were all the more special because of the stories each brand is part of, I really want you to try wine access to. So I've arranged get you an exclusive limited time offer. You can get twenty percents off these great wines that are already agreed value. Consider. This your chance to enter a whole new world of amazing wine at enemies in price. This offer is just for a limited time so order now to get this great twenty percent off deal for full details, visit wine, access dot com slash Lor. What are you waiting for? Go now to wine access dot com slash Lor. This episode was also made possible by squarespace. I will be the first to admit that I have a very bizarre job. I tell weird stories for living and it takes a lot of time to do it right. So everything else that's on my list, like making changes to my website or adding items to the Lord shop all of it needs to be incredibly simple, which is why use squarespace with squarespace, you can create beautiful websites to show off your artwork, published a blog, sell your digital and physical products, or even promote your business. The lore website has been powered by squarespace since the very beginning almost four years ago, and I can't imagine doing it any other way between their beautifully designed templates, powerful economy. Or speeches free hosting and award-winning twenty four, seven customer support squarespace has everything that I need to run a professional website without making that my profession get started today for free. Just visit squarespace dot com. Slash Lor to start your free trial website when ready to launch it, be sure to use the offer code, lore at checkout to save ten percent squarespace, build something beautiful. And finally, this episode was made possible by the good people over at hellofresh. Hellofresh is the meal kit delivery service that shops plans and delivers your favorite meal. So you can just cook eats and enjoy. Each hellofresh meal is delivered right to your front door in a recyclable insulated package inside the premeasured ingredients are in handy labeled meal kits. So you know exactly what goes where. And that means there's no need to be nervous. You can feel completely confident when you cook with hellofresh because everything is outlined on pictured step by step instruction cards, hellofresh offers three types. Of meal plans, classic veggie and family. Each recipe takes about thirty minutes to make and saves you time that you would have spent planning and shopping for groceries so that you can get back to doing more of what you really love to do. And they're absolutely delicious to my current favourite. Is there hot Honey chicken with barbecue roasted potatoes and buttery broccoli. It was quick and easy to prepare was delicious to eat and left me feeling like a pro and trust me if I can make it. Anyone can get started cooking smarter today for total of sixty dollars off. That's twenty dollars off your first three boxes. Visit hellofresh dot com. Slash Lor sixty and enter the promo code more sixty at checkout. It's getting six meals for free. That's hellofresh dot com. Slash Lor six zero offer code Laura six zero. The guard wasn't supposed to be there. It was a hot October afternoon in fifteen ninety three and the viceroy's palace in Mexico City was already staffed with enough watchful eyes. So when one of the men glanced over the wall and saw another soldier standing at the front gate, the sounded the alarm. The man in question was a guard like them, but he was wearing very different uniform, which meant that he might be the enemy. The captain of the guard brought a few soldiers with him to the front of the palace and then carefully opened the gate. The man outside turned and looked at them with a puzzled expression. Where am I? He asked in perfect Spanish. The captain answered him and then inquired about his name and story. The man dented himself as gilpin says until a few minutes before he had been a guard serving the Spanish colony of Manila, nine thousand miles away in the Philippines. Naturally, the Mexico City guards didn't believe him. Most likely laughing at the fought of it, but the man pushed deeper trying to prove it just last night he told them the governor of Manila was killed by Chinese assassins while our fleet was headed to the Maluku islands. Remember though that this was fifteen ninety three, there was no internet or radio, let alone telegraph or mail service. If something had happened, nine thousand miles away just hours before they had absolutely no way of confirming it. Instead, the stranger was thrown into one of the palaces jail cells and left there until a better. More believable story presented itself, and that's where he remained for many long months. The following spring, a package of correspondence arrived from the Philippines. Among the papers inside it was a letter detailing. The assassination of the governor along with the date of his death, October twenty. Fifth fifteen Ninety-three somehow against all the odds, the stranger had been right, not knowing what else to do. The viceroy released Peres gave him all the supplies that he would need then sent him back west where he was told the catch the next ship bound for Manila. All we can assume is that he made it home safely. As with so many of these tales, there's very little evidence to help us know for sure whether the events really played out this way or if they've been edited over the centuries to give us a bit more of a thrilling experience either way, the tale of Gil Peres highlights one important question. We almost never get a chance to answer when people vanished from our site. Are they gone forever or do they simply end up somewhere else? A stranger in a distant land. This episode of law was written and produced by me, Aaron monkey with research by Marsat Crockett and music by Chad Lawson. I make another podcast called Aaron mckie's cabinet of curiosities, and I think you'd really enjoy it. It's a twice weekly podcast that explores some of the most bizarre events, objects and people in history. Each ten minute episode is a bite size collection of two short tales that show you just how unexplainable our world really is. Lor exists outside this podcast to there's a book series in stores around the country and online with the third book, arriving in October called dreadful places, and the second season of the Amazon prime television show arrives on October nineteenth. Check them both out. If you want a little bit more lower in your life, then you can always learn about everything going on over in one central place, the world of lore dot com slash. Now, oh, and, hey, if you're a social media sort of person, you can follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram just searched for Lor podcast, all one word and then click that follow button when you do say hi. I like it. When people say hi. And as always thanks for listening.