1 Episode results for "Steve Mangrove"
#TSP140 - Jack Lowden
"How are you doing. i'm craig parkinson. He listened to the to shop. Podcasts at yourself down public how we're gonna marry old shot this week. I'm going to tell you. Law seems is rather redundant asking that question. Consider in you know everything. The the whole thing. The bleakness of everything. But i've been doing it for three years and asking that question. And i'm not going to stop now. Authorized republican emails saying gray. Why didn't you have to be honest. And other one that i want everything to be as easy as possible because let's face it. The life isn't easy. The moments of trion find the pockets of goodness. She's of the grades and tell a couple of really nice things that i did. I haven't sat down and watched anything for for ages really and new year's eve. I thought you don't wanna do. I have some champagne papi while day causing champagne and i was little women to park. Greco like starring. Sasha ronan and laura done and timothy channel may timothy. Shell may eight. I said it to a friend of mine. I seen foreseen pound for pound performers by one of the best films of sin for. Maybe i was feeling old new year's eve and quarterly. And that's kind of what i wanted. But maybe that's what you need to fob for me to tell yet but you know go for it. You need at the moment and it was a great comfort. I loved it so so much Yeah so trying to find the greatness. I think i think downlist. What do i now look. We're all on their own path. Oh my god we thought we would kick this year off with a brilliant. So that's what we're there in. I've been a fan at inside his term. Because i don't think he would have dealt well with a conference. This is an episode with jack. Loudon who yeah. I've been a big fan of for ages. You hugh my seen on stage in their scotland's brilliant black watch or the dumb mar measure Or in the stays version of chariots of fire. But you'll definitely. I've seen his work. In steve much film fight with my family which was brilliant as morrissey and england is mine in warren pace on the bbc. A most recently in the first film of small act series to steve mangrove again which he said and i would never tell him this. I would not want to embarrass. Him is not really wrong. Almonds great so was really thrilled on. He said he would come on. And it was the first time we met this afternoon on the road. And i was down and yeah it was when things go right. They just flow. Ns flood and it was a joy so as much fan of him as an actor. Now as i'm as a person was great. I love that it was joy so i thought just get down to where she we. Yeah okay well. This is episode one hundred forty of the to show podcast the new one of this year as going to be many many more. It's with great. The very lovely very mr chat loudon enjoy and i'll see you at the end and a big stuckey on and we have to keep shooting. You guys shut down. I think something like that. Way out to shut down through felt like ages but i think it was about that for four six weeks it was. We were in a park on the other side of manchester play in this game of football. I remember scientists. Someone this sort of the stunt of coordinate because this debate and tomboys acquire and. I'm just on the sideline know nothing about football going. This looks precarious. Say the least. And i send cav so russia in and then they went for another one. I've got bad failing about us. And then all of a sudden snap qisas right and then it turned up turned up in on the hour. I'm going to give them publicity within minutes. And there was some guy in the bush to take blood. D- how he he literally he went back to the uk. 'cause we were shooting in ireland and he came back. He was like a got a bit of a problem. Check wall and i look at my own and it was in a sticky and we had to shoot shoot shoot with him and put him in like a long massive long jacket. Luckily one of those police dog training guys like he just has like a massive forearm by walk the no. he's great. No there's there's a whole bunch of them. Yeah i i. Just i love that. We won't stop. I think it was like the first or second week of first. Lock down Oh it was grief. Washing-up beautiful to look at. I mean it really saw sports ya especially for someone like may knows next to nothing about football and has to pretend that he knows exactly what he's talking about. Yeah but speaking of football jack. That was high on your list of priorities younger. If i'm right absolutely i still. I've always said that if someone could come along and give say you could play professional football tomorrow but you tough to give up acting. I won't wouldn't even think about it. I do it in a heartbeat. Is we still laugh. The fires still die for. It's it's sort of when i was younger. It was just like oh. I just wanna play football. And then as i've gotten older and the more actinides done i've acted enacted in in one way or another since i was quite young though but the older i've gotten the more i realized. What is it. find missing in our profession for me. Maybe not loads of other people that sort of the unknown and even though in football there's only three outcomes there's win lose or draw with with what we do. I just feel like there isn't feel like i know what's going to happen and get quite quite quick players that whether it's on stage all scream on the buzz. They must get any professional sportsmen athlete. Get from going and having something to achieve something to fight for and then the sorts of rivera's of not getting it you know there's the closest we get is that if if you're under enormous time constraints on a shoot or something and you and your goal notes stunned all we fucking good before the late disappeared but then if you if you did manage to get it if you're on something with a low of money for example then to some comes in and goes we're going to get chance to do that again in two weeks and it's kind of like the safety of our profession read. It bores me. Sometimes in the way that spore. Doesn't you know the sport has that all our nothingness about it. And i think the older. I've gotten the more. It's translated into that desire to still play football just to feel that was on my but then to counterbalance that with bad any sort of sportsman athlete of any kind. There's a there's a small window of opportunity to raise your game and then taken away in your reply replaced. I've started doing recently. I think it's because i turned thirty this year. I've always sort of gone align myself. With footballers of my age. You know ongoing right. Such and such is twenty nine so he's considered toward the end of his career. And so i'm always like you know i've got another five or six years of being able to run around. You know on films or on on stage and then my body pocket but my body won't have been under anywhere near the streams that they have a michael's but my my brother has said my brother's bali dan so And he has to deal with that. He's twenty eight he. He's already star in a minute to three years ago he was doing about what the hell he does. His body narcos. Big this callum kallumiya. He's fit in mike sinewy and whenever whenever he comes home you feel like an absolute unit in comparison some because he's just so fit and he's he's having to deal with that it's like southbound what the fuck do i do. Unlike god really don't know i don't the average the average shelf-life of does it change from male ballet dancer to a fema belly dancer and i don't think it does no i think it's just the same as any kind of professional sport i think is once you're in your mid thirties. Your kind of people around you begin to great. He's on he or she's on her way out and so he's got he's got maybe like six six years left of his body being able to cope. But then you get like massive like exceptions to the rule like sylvie guillaume the woman i think she danced in her like mid four is or something And like she could fuck and move but yeah he has the dot is coming to straight in the face as he does. He does honest. I don't eat those yet. Which is quite exciting. Also prater but you were saying about that. You got bored quite easily. Do you not find the precarious nature of being an actor and the the sometimes lack of control. That's not given all taken away can be quiet exciting as well as being frustrated. I mean i do. I the other thing that i've dealt with a lot recently in. Might i in my career is is. It may be that it's not boredom and i'm using the wrong word. It's the i don't have. I don't feel as though i'm contributing enough to the fillmore project by simply just you know getting the rap on the door if he three hours to come and do some five seconds. I think it's more. I feel so an unfulfilled with an i also ever since i started on screen which was quite quite lay on me was like twenty four twenty three twenty four so not not. Long ago i've just been constantly find them very frustrating places to be for me. Because i just got very jealous of people that are walking by constantly fucking busy constantly doing things. Unconditional canosa stand back and look at what we've done what we do is it so about us. We are our own sort of our product we are. We are all mistakes and yes you can watch the film back with take or whatever by get very jealous of people that are constantly actually making something in they can stand by director or whatever and It's it's. I realized quite early on when i started in film that. That's what i wanna do is go into direct. It which is decided is working towards in a roundabout fashion. Just just it just. Because i just get jenny jenness jealous when they go. When you get told to go back and see a little house you know illiberal hen coop and wait there for a while. I stand with my door open on on you to basis. Ivo i'm a guy that's door. Open the door like a coke crawl waiting to come down and then sometimes we'll just ask people can. Is there anything i can do. Because i just can't cope with it. I've always been like as a person like even as a kid Of of inherent feeling of guilt. Of whatever situation i mean or there's a restlessness for sure the has sort of not always been acted upon its source of lazy restlessness. If that's a phrase like i just feel very rarely set down on my bike. Sayyed angola vent where i i am working towards it. I think that i am actually going. I'm earning my sitting on my office far more and Also at the same time learning to sort of go no. It's quite nice to to know. Be sort of working towards something but no i. I have always hot that. I've always had that feeling of like those something. There's something i should be doing. Or i should be doing what i'm doing. No and i thought we are not come from an adult. What you call it. I've i've always had done which is even harder to cope with and deal with certainly tearing the past year one. Yes sit down and read a book. He a few pages and he got shit the shoulder. There's something i should be doing. I shouldn't. I'm going to sit down. Fucking nothing else we condemn. I'm being told to do that. But it's quite i mean you've probably with with people you spoke to june this time thing. It's kind of you've been given a license to to not worry to not panic in a certain extent i as an actor. I don't mean to everybody else. My god but as an actor in particular To not worry. Because i mean there must be ops. Council bodies and producers and things have been inundated this year with actors. Who've gone i've written. I've written screenplays finally am and there's probably like ninety percent of its hall. Shit bought the some bet. That's cre- but i find it quite nice. I felt like okay. I've given my permission self permission. I don't have to do even though i've done. Two things that you're mop down and commissioned somethin- half written something and what you know. I have done. I've actually done quite a lot. I've also managed to go. No don't you don't need to do anything because nobody else's yeah in our profession you know in the world. There's a lot going on in our profession also easy to say someday. That's you know sort of jumped over that magic line that you we all want in our profession where you can choose and when not to walk of just manage to jump over that lane recently and will probably dr jump back over soon anyway. It's isn't it. Isn't it a constant case of jumping back and forth or all the time it seems to me and obviously we're talking about our professionals because that's where we have our knowledge all we can really speak about but it does seem a very back and forth profession and now you know people do talk about the flavor of the month because it's true and it happens. Yeah it it really does happen. And i think it's been wonderful. I've been doing this war but like ten years on it's been quite interested in watching people become flavors of the month or then suddenly there no or whatever i think i've roughly managed to be you know. They wrote their boats. And no i. I mean i say that and know just signed on to do something that is something. I've been trying to solve a void in a way for for ages and the dog is quite big commitment. But it's been quite interesting to watch. People do and learn from their experiences of running food pale any opportunity in front of them as soon as they get a little bit fire behind them. And we're running really fast sometimes regret and or sometimes you know a taken them. So we didn't know is precarious. I don't know if i'm one of those people that's like oil like that. It's curious. I don't think i liked clap. And i think people don't i do you know and it's not necessarily more precarious. I think than a lot of other professions. It's interesting i when i was younger. I had i had the opinion that actors were findings products. Even the one dighton. I had this sorts of arrogant streak in may of shop. We're not when you hear. Doctors warn when you hear doctors moan about anything even though i when i i i've been i was sort of like up in what. What are you moaning about really what you moaning about. And what have you to moan about. Yeah what have you and i. It's because i came from the state. I came from amateur opera ex and sort it was. It was taken deadly seriously in many ways but there was no there was no one spoken. There was no method that there was nothing spoken about. It was just people who wanted to do it for all walks away like i was on stage with teachers and police officers and whatever just of christ teachers that teach at school at that point. I was like in a quarter. Slain stunt stood next to them that can so then when i go into the profession and with all the caveats have of weirdness and the different levels of hosts usually people take it. I sort of with quite oregon of shots up. Just fucking goal caves. You really need another take to do that really need. It was quite so of detrimental. I think to me achieve actors and myself and slowly over the past eight years i started. I think is. I produced a producer film less. You have always started to sort of chop myself counter. Whenever i can and it's weird is totally swung the other way where i know. Have this huge respect for actors in their work in their work on the moment of work outside of the moment of of good normal of sympathy for actors in the moment of work when they turn off and do their work have this enormous respect. That i didn't think they really are the lightning in the glass that needs to be protected. Did you need to protect them. All costs within reason as long as it doesn't affect everybody else by submitting. This must have swimming. I used to sit there like half a cup. When i was like. Nineteen a drama. School south relate or the other guys are my drama year drama school. And never this. And i would just sit and go. Who fucking cares. Just turn up pool out face look over there you know someone needs to move you get the we get the fucking win. Let the move the late and make the complete opposite and did they need to be moving. Not late this is. It's amazing. i've seen massa change in me. it's probably only because you've moved perspective that you can say you've got into another comfort place which is behind the camera you've got different version of or and it's when you get to see what is actually part prioritized quite often on film sets and how really i mean. It sounds like a stupid thing to say. Bit is how rarely actors or the performance story is actually prioritized. When to me. When i watched foam you know i i appreciate a beautiful show. Appreciate an amazing sidetrack. A wonderful in bali. Ever luke is what's in the middle of the frame and if the before it's a totally totally as of an watcher i'm totally led by per for performance hundred percent and then i get so sometimes sorry made sometimes you can see that when you're watching a film or a pace television that it's not about performance says it's about the director's vision so then it becomes a bit of a masturbate. How how beautiful. This is look what i did here. Look this clever. Segue to me. Great again with you. It's all about performance led services services scripts in the characters. Exactly and i think. But i also think the opinion of mine has come from chuck alpine the counter as much as i can but also i think it's quite lead heavily led by my own deep insecurities about me as an actor and i think if i felt i felt more secure in my my girlfriends and On cheese it since she was very young and she's a complete opposition and she when she axe she she revels in all of the other noise. That goes around and an. I've continuing to be envious of that. I want to feel about sorts of peace onset and feel that security. The i the you can do anything and because like when i walk on stage have that that like if i was to fall on this stage. I'd almost sort of in not going to go on stage because i feel so secure onstage. Digest you fucking beg for things go wrong on stage. I remember that they did a play. Wants doing it for ages and it's also the thing of doing it for over again and those are champagne. The pop champagne bowl. And you know you just build you. you know what. It's just muscle memory and halfway through this monologue and the fucking chump pinball it too long actually it didn't pop the whole the whole rest the monologue. It was resting on me having pop this and talking about what was taken and i didn't. I don't panic. Just i saw reveled in it because something had gone wrong. Something was unpredictable. Some something and it's amazing an stage actress in particular. You see them all sorts of dive if something if something. If a call enrolled overnight pocket on sale on stage you see actors like fuck and cats with a ball will cause all they want to use it. They just went to run on us. I want i want to be when it gets to the calling. I want to do something sort of like brando west with the glove in in. I want to do it but i don't have a film set. I started about. And i knew soul of the north face jackets and the guy with the big poll with a phone and so i think my opinion of it is massively even in my own deep set insecurity when onscreen matched about insecurities of you as an actor. Do you mean exactly what you mean. Your insecurities of you as an actor from what perspective is from from performance level or jemaine the perspective of how your seen to be quote unquote an actor. Oh i mean. I guess it's sort of performance. Do you watch back dunk. No no i do watch like a premiere or infant off. And i've recently made a decision to not watch to try not what not and and it's not because i watch it and i go off traced shade loading. I just watch it and goal. I just watch it. And i will talk as just me and awake and because you know it's like i just finished the name sacred soon and spent so much time reading all of his staff and it was so fascinating to read about him in. Imagine yourself a. That's the other thing i've i've realized as well. The older i've gotten is valuable. It sounds like something you've taught on day. One bought how valuable imagination is as an actor and how much love living in my own imagination and also how much since a kid i have done that lived in my imagination and not necessarily meaning running about building like a hosts pretending on top of a ship. I would literally just sit in any situation. I was found myself. And you know whether it be a car or you know other even feel watching a plea. When i was younger. I'd sit with era. Just imagine myself. And i was like the the the general manager walking down the metal until you get the fuck out because there's a five and i have lived in my nation. I was definitely one of those people that would imagine. You know telling someone that. I love them or like. Go round dip kissing a cup to the girl walking up to me and then hoboken off. I wouldn't do it so i lived in that sort of game. I did live in imagination. And i've realized voluble that is to the clothes you have all of that noise around you on the film set forgot the question. Do you think as the years have gone on for you. As an actor the love for it is diminishing because of the passion behind. The camera is is growing. So this account balance. Or i wouldn't say i wouldn't see my love for it is is diminishing. It's i think it's what it always wars. I think right. I think i've just realized what it tastes. The i love the boat and on it's not necessarily served by being on screen spa. Other things are being served by me being onscreen undone like a massive fine of great acting. I i just love acting. I love janet and i love. I'm doing something in the moment with with a phenomenal actor. Like a hugely successful actor won an oscar. Two years ago on the buzz. I go and say the other day being with him was me actin with him was watching him work out what he worked. Balk what casino. Like he had this long ago to do not at all this fucking business like a pinball staple something in answering the phone and he didn't have it he didn't have it right when he turned up which is another thing. I thought you got to do. When i was younger was hobbit because coming from stage. Now what's this congr-. I watched him walk catholic through the monologue. Go walking to teacup by them. What tat with this any. I got you actually saw what and what you saw him. The rails like shut them on and then bomb. No one can stop him. And i just i love it and i actually stood there giving him this guy he's like. He's like alleged stood there life or not be fucking funny and it's because we're in a like dot com today so i can't help myself thinking with not funny. He loves it and we did that. And then i got far more of an and then it was like tom com by jot to us and i was like oh right okay if i do it to get the we and then i could get back to around. I see that too upset to my family. My girlfriend so many times they just stealing. You wanted to smack in the face. Just say you should be you know and it takes. I mean the balls. The i still have not found to make that leap and i'm gonna make it one day. I will not jump. That's why fund so excited about doing this. I've land what is i've learned to love it in a different place but my my love for. It boo will will never disappear. Never disappear the love of on being on stage. The buzz i was on stage three years ago. Recently those lessons on stage and still get such a kick in a buzz for one minute being backstage and then you cross this line suddenly. You're onstage suddenly. You know your backstage in some theater in london and across the station suddenly like vienna or wherever the fun. I always push it as much as i was acting with a meet in a best for ten years and would actually stand in the wings clean annual in measure for measure student wings. And he's a horrible fucker. Hundred will your. Here's an a student wings. And i would like to see miami adam michael on when you come on. Your food has had an argument. You'll effort but you effort doesn't want you left. It doesn't want to talk about it. And he bought an ad like slap them in the face and then he kicked me in the arts and buying in glucose alight and fucking to be and that i'd love. I love trying to tip yourself off balance so much. The becomes about her quickly in a split second. You can go. Which i'm a manageable. So my love for acton still hugely biologist of it's been pushed something which equate quite. I think that's really exciting. And then obviously the way that you're talking about it you mentioned before that right now you don't have the balls but my god you've certainly got the passion for it. Yeah well that's the other thing is that we've all got we all do running. I started. I started a production company in name only last year to do this to this phone. A new. the reason i did that was the truck myself because since i was since kid on his cell about and talk about. I'm going to do this do this. Wouldn't be grouped with this and then moves into your sutton pumps you do with other actors that you buy with but vauxhall comes from it so i thought i would try and truck myself in those conversations and force myself into actually do it and so i started this little thing so we made a film last year. And i'm gonna. I'm gonna hopefully make more and because i'm very good at talking about it but then not necessarily berlin putting into action but i think quite honda myself as well about that. Because i do but what i was going to say. It's no i mean. Yeah the we've all been in those situations those places where everybody's tolkien and no one's doing. But i think you all of our time because you have might film and in this day and age to actually get it up and running and complete. It must be really really tricky thing to do your job but it some assist. I've always thought you know is. It's be happy but don't be content of thought an massive. This same emphasis on both is is very important. But you know. I've always thought that thing. Certainly when you say it and i'm sure you've seen it with other actors. I find it quite uncomfortable. When a group says finished a sane and there may be so high five in each show. The they've smashed a sane and just think already a content york. You're happy no no 'cause you know maybe there's something more you could these there a bit more. There's always a bit more. That's one of the reasons i don't watch is because i do go. Oh look you've just you've just grown a big bed ready take myself out of it but also could've done. I could have should have the views that y'all wouldn't have used that take. Why of from the so again. You know not just about the sense of control or lack of control taken every meal with because the work that the sometimes you want to do. It's about the finished product Jeez why. I don't really want to go from random. Watch playback now it's unless it somethin' thin that's to do with the fight saying or it's a technical thing this is light. You know everything that needs to be to make somebody else's job easier the i can help with. Then i've got no interest. Yeah yeah absolutely absolutely jack. Let's talk about school. Because i think it's a fascinating place to start and that but let's back school so where we weren. Even everybody got. Oh yeah while we scottish born in scotland. So yeah so i was. I was born. I'm actually as english as come. This is true. Even try and hide it as much as they can go could sense. I was actually born in essex. Ninety nine hundred was born there because my dad's lived my mom and dad lived in for the next six because my dad worked for the bank of scotland. My dad left school when he was fifteen. Sixteen and what is the bunks call then ended up getting shifted london. And then yeah. I was born. Now i'm brother was born there as well Year actually saw the guy saw. The guy wants a film festival that vinnie. Imdb you could tell he invented. I'm deb. Because he has walks with an imdb by john right truly of i kind of accosted them and i said like you. So what's the deal then. Why can't change. we're wait. i'm from where it says your. Because i said like i was born in but i'm not really from the first two years of my life and my mom and dad were grew up in west lothian east up in scotland than it was brought up. Here a skullman. So i don't know. I said well what did you can. You don't know. I don't know how he change it. It was like i can tell you. Change your office as i. Now how do i change from can put like a caviar. 'cause if because i was always worried that people thought was going to come in to that and then when i come and talk to mike. It hold on missiles and he didn't know which i found quite amazing so that was really helpful that we can carry on walking around with zombie. Payback's younger focused on what to do. Now i feeling he didn't invent. It was just sort of in the room at the time. I don't know of just just the face of ear but yeah it was born was born near near two years and then moved up here to scotland. Done to scotch borders where whereabouts whereabouts in scotland since so this very very southeast. That's the borders. It's is confused. I know it's is for known as the borders. It was actually known as the borders. I am but we were such unruly bastards in the borders on either side of the border in northumberland and cumbria as well I think he was james. The juve's six and ginger. First eugene's the first wendy. When he came oppo he they've they've finally vanquished the ball to reverse which basically like these costs are not traffic in mafia families that run both sides of the borders and it was just as an unruly whistler and that was like the wild west and they they had no allegiance to either side to any crown or any nation But you remind me consoles and they got rid of them. And i think it was james bond benin the borders escorts borders and made made us take shires so technically i'm from bedrick shall right selcuk. Sharon walks publisher the yet. So it's right. It's linked to the cross the border from northumberland and the other way about twenty five miles. So why why did you move back up there. So we i was. I was to. My brother was a couple of months. And then yeah a little village in the borders and went to primary school there chanaka primary school and was nine of us in the in my year and there was probably about twenty five kids in the school year. Eight boys one ghetto which was quite interesting. I thought i've not seen that lasted for years ago. She's called sina for ages but she was the one girl in our year a of us but yeah so that was probably school and then went to high school in the borders. Well ellison high school and that must have been a larger of a shoulder a little bit bigger about thousand kids. Vote that for you. I mean i know like the the change from from primary school to secondary school. It's bigly because you know your change in in your own body and everything's own girls groups of door need to be in this group but to go from a score of twenty five to school of thousand that's like moving from the countryside. Say yeah i mean that's the thing in general come from the countryside then after that. I went to glasgow but and so it was a big jump in i. I remember when i first started meeting people that were from glasgow from sales. They've all got fucking edge. They've all got back. Go in them. If i got like kay. They've got this presumption that the the that you think the shot and having to fight you is this presumption is why do incredible. I remember learning about the seat to the three or four scores. Football managers came from the same sort of low part. I'd say glasgow. Lauren glasgow joke. Stephen and all these guys. They seem to come from the same pit. There are their father for tennessee putin and they run the three biggest people called in the uk and just people from cities. Just have this natural to someone that grew up in not really small earlier to me. These they have the smell different. They have different kind of like their own. That they're on the front foot and an iphone that quite quickly. That people from this massive generalization but my experience we we all whenever we'd but we wouldn't play basketball once apponator umbro something and we all shrunk which has shrunk like. We're all just these we timothy bustards. And it's just it's just a lot gentler of a sleigh out in the country so but you know. Sometimes there's a presumption with rural and urban urban is far more hard done by farmers of poverty. Or you know. It's a lot harder than country has just like the archers a which is which there is part of the country as well but then there's like massive power in the country's just different in rural places particularly in scotland there's massive drug problem in rural parts of scotland and even the very smallest of us and so yes. I've got confidence in there. There's a certain attitude. Remember when i when. I was seventeen and i moved from the seaside town. Blackpool and i was going to london and it's just also so i remember getting off the train. An everything was seemed to be whizzing by i different speed different pace of life and i was. I think it was on oxford street and it was. I remember being naked at one point going. Why am i walking at the same pace as all these other people to stop it. Just it's just slow down a bit. You just wasn't used to. It took me a long time realized that didn't like the pace of life. no. I did the same thing. I was about seven years and then moved up here but but then ironically then started to miss the noise but it was Remember going to the nba only five miles away from the borders. And i just from. There's a hill sutra hill. Which sort of boundary between the borders and the beginning of of edinburgh midlothian. And i used to stand outside it a look over at this hale which is from from where i grew up about six seven miles away but you could see the orange goal above the hill which is edinburgh be constantly fascinated by and be like i wanna be. I wanna be in where that noises. What's going on. But i want to be there. And when i when i started going up to edinburgh as a kid with my brother when he started doing dunston and i went along with him in the ill-fated dot was by weighing along with and the started. That's steig on stage and stuff and just the buzz of all that was all linked up in come from a very very very quiet place and i was. I was unbelievably quiet as a kid very very shy and very very shy even when i moved away at drama school. You still lock myself up in my my halls and just watch am only fools and horses arm and things like that. My aim would be. I finished with classes will do an end run by to the holes in glasgow and sit in my little os and just watch like bbc comedies. I just did the idea of able to people terrified me. And i can go and older i sort of. It's been a rivera rebellion of that have tried to lift more. Like a sort of a gwyn kid. Now and i've certainly go on. Motha a hell of a lot of it was that he was listening to the listen to an interview with somebody. Oh it was it was it was vic raves. And he was saying the when he started to get invited to you know quote unquote show bays pies and different events. And all that. He realized where he'd come from a more people were thinking of it so we cranked up. The northern nece became even more northern in these situations more northern more louder to make himself. I remember that we want to. I think rhonda to do manage to get on a summer course just two weeks of course and and it was. It was mainly english kids or international kids and got the inevitable right. You're scottish drink. This is when we all started drinking. I think it was late. Seventy eight n or something. Like that. And i was always a very good show. I was in an incredibly good liar. Incredibly good liar. I don't know why. I think it's because i just spent my whole just observing people also lets people. Why be a great spy but at the top of the shoulder also what i think. That's what makes a very good actor is to be an observer will use its personally that's why fund and i i found out of town for lion and making things up on the spot and like that like you're the scott. You must know drinking games. I didn't know any drinking games. And i just went right. What you need a dave get to vancouver stevie chairs that way. Johnny move the table that way. Just making this up this game where it was i was just thinking pocket on fox's soon as possible. I remember saying raked bartlett vodka. You put on your forehead and you try you try and spin. Rhone deadly football challenge. We just go and you basically run around in a circle and you can't tell live and you do eleven times and you don't as much as you can. And they were like they will have typical fucking jock and taught. Tell me about the boys back. And just make an and it was link because i wanted to people to sort of like may or fear me or i don atom. Oh but yeah. I have incredible facility for lion hours. How did you find that. I mean i know. It's only a small two weeks summer close. But how did you find being in the environment in the asterik building because the comes with a lot of other factors maybe no in two weeks so he goes mean i i remember. I went to high school in quite quickly decided. I wanted to be an actor. Because i had this phenomenal music. Teacher called jeff thomson who put on these huge musicals every summer in this in this comprehensive unlike throw the kitchen sink them the dividend from the from about twelve years old till eighteen everything from lake south pacific and two guys in dole's and lame as complete with like bata cades shit like oh my god like everybody just chuck too and it's just this normal. High school in the board does is the borders. There's massive tradition of operatic. It's it's weird opera. Hundred hundred hundred with the common ratings. It's it's really strange. An incredible escapism calls. That you can you. Can you can always like community spirit and it you can all get together and something might these sets exactly like. It's old school as well. It's like you do in village halls empty primary schools. And if i can take it more seriously than the profession you would rehearse like three times a week after school. I realized they are and then obviously was light. Might so drama. School great right. Where's the best drama school bay. Everybody says rathers some job manage to walk up money and all that stuff to they go on this summer course that some course and just thought i was going to get a top on the shoulder at the end of it of late. We've seen your moves and you come some. Of course. I doesn't what light i am addition for all of these schools and i actually didn't get in. I think it past the first round rather and then give us the pasta anywhere. Apart from one in is all squish by. Didn't get invited back many years later at radha to talk to a bunch of students and there was a fussing. Said was didn't get in here just to say didn't like but no i didn't. I did find it. Sort of don sort of or these hallowed halls kind of kind of way but night. It's nothing you know. Special in comparison to other places was the something I mean obviously it's meant to be that you went to roll scarfs but was the something more comfortable beam back up there to train for all that time. Do you think. I suppose it's very very difficult question to answer. Because you've got no comparison. Really yeah no i didn't. It's funny as well as lake. I think my my scottish notice. I sort of grown and developed over the years you know like i said i wasn't for scorch independence toll. I remember guthrie. And another among other martin amount of talk to me about an elemental. Bollocks won't show you. Who cares my dad. Actually this m p when. I was first allowed to vote within twenty first election and avoid labor. Because that's what you do and asked my dad what he said this. Mp we'd we what the team and there are member them on the ballot paper they were right at the bottom. They were underneath the scottish jacobite party. Who's i don't know a guy who wants to bring back the stuart kings and like us all we're poed wakes without much of a joke but it's saudi. No it's like. It would never occur to me doing it in glasgow i was. I was definitely like aren't snow as good because it's in london for sure did you. Did you think that or was that something that was projected onto the paper. Because i i've got friends. Who went to roll skies and wales. And even i had when when i was younger when i was figuring out where i wanted to go it was almost like i was told or i'd heard or i'd read the path. Is you have to do it this way. You have to go to london. And it's done if his eight hindsight knowledge. What i've just simply not true new. It's it's it's not true. I mean. I think it's part of a is true and it's also quite easy for to say that as someone who has done that we did 'cause i finished there and then i went straight to london agent inland. I was lucky enough to do that. Because i go play. Black watch by national tita scotland this huge successful play in the barbican. So i sort of really lucky through that. But then i didn't work for your i got. I got this big agent played. This big lead did not play an. I didn't want for a year ago. Job and then cluzel d'armes in multiple hill and bled me in a fucking pipe. Pull up a pool of cloud. The first time. I feel the pain of puerto code and the guy that you don't pull the payment and yet but it's it is sort of pumped into the do have to go down there. I rather than it being. Some sort of lake consortium of people the great unknown people that we always say they run the. Tell us that we have to go down. There is also just a fact. I think particularly from scotland that you do have to go down there in our profession at some point because it's just more work there on that i was more specifically manian about the training for the three years. Yeah yeah you just kind of drummed in dreamt intimate certainly beam from the north west. Well yeah i mean you exactly the same i think. But that's just a sort of not having core rather anthony. Brilliant placed produce brilliant actors. I've worked with but the another great thing managed to do down there which is why they're so successful. The british with the best in the world creating a myth can create myths really well crew prestige. You know and i think you just naturally think what must be there and bird like particularly up here in scotland. They'll always a great watchers. The scots sit. And let you make yourself forest. They will scott. They'll always you hang yourself before they hang you. Think and very smooth source of dark operators. And i think they're kind of like the raw scottish the very like you go all really. It's all very kim. Kim richey said that on cambridge. He said if he ever had a chat show he call. It did because wherever wherever active have all been finish some big story elaborates deliver create narrow. Bowman go it. Came in from the fruits of my walking around the archerd. When i lost my father and he would just go. Gi and that sort of it's in. It's sort of instilled in you up there. It was still the new. They're an incredible work ethic. I remember going in auditions for the foster in london and being thanked for learning my lines. Like thank you so much lending lines right okay. Yeah isn't that what you do and other schools obviously teach that but he really stuck to you. What there of of hard work hard work and obviously. You're still very early on there that you know you need to do accents or you're gonna get fucked and i was shocking english accent. I was shocking. Arpey obsolete shocking. I came over very harsh and then and then it wasn't until i moved to london. Which is one of the main benefits. I would say if you're from up north or skull issue or whatever your accent you're anglo-saxon kits and you're predominantly going to walk cannot There's there's been a shift with scotland. The law of squash does a moving back that horrible but the are film studio and we saw that's being built in edinburgh on. It's an incredibly creative. Plays very exciting place at the moment that it does need a hell of a lot more effort money and it's getting now. When did your confidence start to grow throughout the threes. We talk before When you were saying about you go into classes and then you would just run back and watch oh baby companies specifically talking about being real scores. Yes roscoe in highschool is well my my confidence in class like i was always in the bucket one of the raw scores. She was just a very embarrassed person. Very embarrassed when acted. So i still. I'm i'm working through an i think You know that thing that they say that sounds like a cliche where they take you to drama school to try and get you out with yourself and get rid of your inhibitions. Sam is something that you really should pay attention to again. Sort of arrogance of silence when i was a drum scores like fucking. You don't need that either. Need you just need an. that's all i want. I just want someone. I'm just waiting for two drums. You someone said that wants to me was just seems. Like you're just waiting. Jiji stood about in the corridors waiting for someone to come home and sprinkle something over here. That will open up for you. I remember that day or told me up. Basically saying get you fucking assen gear and like. Let your inhibitions go. But it's the easiest thing to see someone acton general to say let's go saw easy to say that it's like it's we've become obsessed as well Our world at the moment of be yourself you know. I mean what does that mean an also. It's fucking boring being yourself late yet. We didn't get into this young to to walk onstage. Be ourselves exactly exactly. Yeah i hate. I just mean in life. Flake to be south. And i've also as i've gotten older i've realized as well acquainted joy trying own different like fucking john like by date with changing himself. Each album i like. I like thinking of yourself albums. And like i quite like a very cultural became just before lockdown scotland-england begin. It's a middle class. Sport rugby up here. Different days in. Wales raise them. I quite enjoyed being to acquaint joy italian. And like i went out and about cheetos and bought chino's i was quite enjoying being unlike some light brooks enjoying it and like i think as long as you you know what you are in a sense or like you know what your beliefs are quite love. I quite late night. They've been hypocrite very interested in being a hypocrite and like chocolate morals site for ten minutes. Them what it's like to have opposite morals things quite fun. And i've i've realized that have gotten and there's a lot of fun to be had that and you find yourself change your morals actually quite nice to lead yourself at the door. Sometimes which. I guess is acting as well. You quite tough on yourself as a self. Are you self critical to a fault. Doug i i mean hugely hugely but with but with also sort of thrum in like throbbing on the lion thing of like i think we don't i think i do think i know best i. I've only realized that recently. I think we done. There is the belief somewhere which sorts of avoids total sorts of visitation of self. I think it's we done some. We are. I just can't tap it all the time but i think i think both exist and i think both can exist. I i massively critical of myself am but there is other thing that goes a. Ib you not that shit or you are actually berlin about acting. That's just about any. Life am an of grueling. Easier as i've gotten older with having the two things the sipe aside. Because i think it can make for interesting situations but you could at slowly over the years giving yourself less of a hard time. 'cause i find i find it comes in waves personally speaking especially over the past year it does. It does it. Does it does come in waves and but you know the. I think what's also quite common as well as when you don't feel like that and when you feel like really fucking funny or you feel really sexy. They go all god. No right mustn't revel in that. I've realized the i there is a sorts of said i've grown into sort of obnoxiousness of and give myself permission to do it and think of public pushed quite far a to see what are the upper limits of it and i'll keep a hold of that bit better because if you're just one thing the whole thing they don't ask so i think more is less than hopefully learned how to give myself not as hard time it's more i've learned to sort of totally entertain all these different sides of you and not shut them down just because they're not equal hugh and really enjoy them as long as they're not to the detriment of your surroundings or whatever and i've but that's also because i come from a family. That very early on is quick to sort of you know not coping very like if you if you want fuck in had to wear this today and you walk in late my thought madonna. Oh like this is like a choice ruined yes you you just completely destroyed an instant and it's and it's because it's an. It's very lucky to grow up in that. Don't take yourself sleep at all in all but also late reveling in taking yourself seriously. Sometimes and seeing well run as well but yeah. How are you with authority because you were talking before about how you used to be. This is not a quoted. You said i'm just generalizing but you said something about being quite gubbay. Yeah yeah and i used to be that with It was when. I was made to feel puree talking from a work environment when i was made to feel the work environment. I was placed in a school environment so the seem to him so of hierarchy so it wasn't a collaborative process it was. You'll do this. Because i am telling you to the abol for me but now over the years i have mellowed the united states away the acid absolutely to i saw him in uncle. Vanya tally of christmas. Which was talked to a friend about it. Before me you were talking walk. I wish i'd have been in there to see that even though it translates fantastically over over the screen. But you have course payers look incredible. Oh he's finished. He did play with him. I think the same director at the electrostatic creek charted with him and he eh one of the great things over it stuck in my head is he said to me. Got to learn how to box spot said of us and our profession. When you feel like exactly situation you just described box smart and you've got to be very good at present enough to people meet that choice. And he said box just box marked jack and it took me a while to realize what remained on there. I was in a situation very recently. The situation you've just described with the director under it was very early on very quickly. It happened an i suddenly when i go. That's ridiculous with a person's just said that can by when box mom. And i thought i could do that but they i think that would fuck things up. It may be satisfied that bit or could do this and ultimately knock thought personnel in that way so to speak metaphorically and it worked on them and that was from. Po box box cover an and in terms of the obnoxious sort of gardiner's of just. I truly believe that you should. You should always have your answers questioned. You really should. My dad said that to me. Sounds like a fucking weeden fortune cookies but my my dad said that to me. My dad got made redundant in the crash in two thousand and eight. I came home and student kitchen. I came from high school and he's never never in the kitchen it. I'll tell you those commented about seven and he told me and he'd been let go. It'd be one of buy something like forty years and the guy'd come in and said you're goi says anonymous games so that it all happened. 'cause liberal understood that the money banking never understood in dad said he said because everybody everybody presumed the guy above the new name said that's why everybody thought that the guy above are the idea the needed and because they have layers after the name before the name that they'll have they will know what to do which is just boop alex and from that point on i started living in that. You must have your your answers. Question pushed it way too fucking far. Sometimes you know being on set so like a five year old kid going either y either either. Why not for the fuck of it comes from. If you don't feel that that. I mean. I don't know what the the the situation you've just described but i think if you had complete faith in that person or you'd be like their walk or whatever they need you we do it of course boils down to trust because and and also say that about youth saying things like fortune cookies but it's nuggets of wisdom that simone light as knowledgeable as pay would say here and it does take a bit of time to filter through. And you don't know when you're going to when that light bulbs going to go off in you. That's what they meant. And it's amazing because in those situations really learn about right what all's needs to be fought and how can i fight them as smart as smart as i can make and that's not a detrimental to me as a person. Yes you know tacoma of and learn which by worth fi in which i just need to remove myself from the situation and just take a step back. The other thing i've learned is one of the greatest things to possess his humility. I think in our in our profession particular if you've got humility because there are very precious situations working with thirty fiery creative people or whatever and people come blow a gasket. People can say the wrong thing or whatever. But i think as long as you've humility as long as you're able today and afterwards go sorry about elena. Most people will forgive you. Absolutely the opposite prayed is just prayed in our profession. Sometimes is such a fucking team. It's such a waste attained such a waste the money as long as you can go home and look yourself in the mirror right. That's enough prayed. Onset is such a waste of time if some bad idea than you no matter who you are if you have the brains to front is actually quite a good idea swollen prayed and and fucking run it all my. I would say i did. A film with steve merchant acted as a hero of mine. Steve and i was playing this part. That i didn't mean what was doing. Sometimes steve would get sort of like i. Don jack maybe give stephen steve which is do you do the light and i'll go. I'll just take what steve. Just a ton of cameron. I'm just gonna copy it up absolutely. I mean talk about learning from somebody who maybe that situation is more knowledgeable from you because sometimes you go. I'm stuck. I was talking to a director before christmas online. And we were working through a sane and paper it was a very simple saying but for some reason ida roth brock corner i look. I genuinely. don't know how to play this enough tribe plan a few different ways and i'm just maybe i'm running round trip for myself or purple. I'm finding this really difficult. Free just just an eating said one thing. I'm just gonna take it from a the way. I'm going to do it. Just nikki just opposite frozen overthrows back we frozen well that maybe that's the lords of the internet saying that we should leave it there june. But it's been incredible. Talk radio enjoyed. It's been really lovely. I'm not gonna phrases were saying by the bureau does kid. We can just imagine it back. Oh thank god. Because i was just saying the our back. I'm just saying it'd be really horrible to freeze saying goodbye but Thanks so much for coming on. I'm ready ready. Made up it. Was you know we don't talk about work that much. But i'm yeah i really enjoyed it. Yeah i know that we end up talking about walk coil. No no no. No no no no. We didn't we didn't. That's what i'm saying. all right. He know that we you know that we don't but i will People who have some recent work to take out because it's all very choice stuff. I'm not going to embarrass you happen to thank you so much for coming on you take and speak to you very soon. Thank you and another episode is done do you. Now all feels really nice to be back. A obviously i say about yes. We are both bought with. Yeah it's baby steps baby approach. Because i'm i'm going to be home schooling every other week for the foreseeable so look. That's going to be mega difficult to record. So we're going to try and get a lovely bumper crop. Saw it as soon as we can so it can start. Get back to being regular edition out every thursday. I think that'd be really nice. Wouldn't it so she we just do. I think we should okay. We'll look a massive. Thank you to jack. Forgive his time and few for downloading subscribing until any friends supporters as you do on patriot patron dot com forward slash the to show podcast if you can support us by throwing whatever you can once a month. Every little helps. No i'm not not sponsored by that marcation. Yeah which home. Yeah well really try and get next week but until then you take care and stay safe. I've been craig parkinson. He's been produced producer graph and this has been the to shop podcast. A season to shop. Podcast is presented by may craig parkinson reported produced by thomas griffin for splicing blocks on music. Music kersey often. That comes as.