19 Episode results for "Sondra"

GSMC Health & Wellness Podcast Episode 371: The Future of Birth Control

GSMC Health and Wellness Podcast

59:02 min | 9 months ago

GSMC Health & Wellness Podcast Episode 371: The Future of Birth Control

"You want to be healthier yet you just don't know what to do all these shows telling you this and that but nothing seems to work will listen close golden state media. Cossacks has got something great for you the health and wellness podcast dedicated to workout trends the eating habits die and everything about healthy living join us in our banters as we help, you not just live life to the fullest live it to the healthiest. Third. Guys and welcome to GS MC health and wellness PODCAST RATIBA GS MC podcast network I'm your how Cynthia and pappy Monday everyone and yes I know you all are like what the heck is wrong with their voice. I know I sound Husky a F- like. Hurts to talk honestly But. I'm not sick. It's not a covert. No, it's not related to covid. This is literally this literally happens to me. Around this time of year when it's Cold, and I honestly just think it's a mixture. It's been really windy here in Sacramento. It's a mixture of it being really really cold and windy and just overdoing it with my voice I mean I teach like. Over twenty classes a week fitness classes where I mike exerting a lot of energy exerting my voice. You know I have to yell and motivate the members who come to my cause. And it's been like this. Honestly for like the last four days I can't. I'm croaking you know I'm I can barely get a sense out without. Feeling, really wind in. So if I pause a lot throughout today's episode or he just here like really heavy breathing I apologize you can turn down the volume on this episode a little bit lower for today I'm to try my best to not. You know breathe really have your crow, but it's it's it's going to be a challenge today. So then the less of you guys can get past the Husky miss in my voice in just tune in to what I have to say on today's episode then we'll all get through it just fine. For those of you who are just tuning in and who have never heard of me before I usually do not sound like this Naturally, my voice is low were, but I'm not like this. I don't sound like I'm in pain. So I do apologize for the Husky News. I'm going to just my best to bust this episode out. Okay. So Today's episode I think it's a really important one whether you're male female I think this is the topic of conversation that everyone needs to understand and. Listen to honestly the future of birth control. I think men should really pay special attention to this episode since I think it will broaden your perspective on what a woman truly goes through. You know. When it comes to birth control it's not just as popping pills every day and like. There it is. You know like there's all these horrendous side effects that women go through when they're on birth control, all these hormones that are being injected into our bodies and I think men don't really understand. All the troubles that women face while birth control just for them to you know have sex without a condom on and I'm going to be you know this is a grown conversation y'all. So if you feel uncomfortable talking about sex or talking about sexual health women's health than this, be straight up, this may not be the episode for you. You know we're we're GONNA not talk graphically, but we're just going to be talking about sexual health and talk about sex, and if you are under the age eighteen, twenty an or of your parents who just, I don't know if you don't feel comfortable talking about this in an open space how I'm about to right now then again x out of this episode. But I think this is a conversation that everyone should listen to even if you're under the age of eighteen. In my personal opinion. I. Believe that sex the way sex ED is taught in our schools. Is just. Not Ideal. You know in high school I remember they would separate the girls and boys like when it was time to talk about sexual health, they would separate girls on one side boys in another room and I don't think that really serves a true purpose in really explaining to the youth about sexual end. and. Especially about what a woman goes through in terms of sex and contraception and everything You know there's guys really don't understand the extent of women's body goes through and I think even women ourselves don't really understand much about her own. Biometric you know like our own. Biological Beings. So. That's why I really WANNA discuss on today's episode and just. Talk About Birth Control and. Specifically, talk about this. Bad A S S CEO her name is Sondra Pellet Tear and how she's basically coming up and developing one of the biggest breakthroughs in birth control since nineteen sixties. So we're actually going to talk about the current state of birth control where it's headed and what Sandra Peletier is doing with this new innovative contraceptive Gel that will act as a birth control called Vecsey. So I'm really excited to talk about it. Despite you know trying to push through my current vocal stage But again, I'M GONNA first off this episode sharing a little bit about my own experience with. Contraception or with Birth Control. So I. Think I started taking birth control at the age of like sixteen or seventeen. And my main reason for initially taking it was for trying to regulate my periods back. Then I had very irregular heavy periods and they were so excruciating. Painful to the point where I was heaving over a toilet to the point where my mom would have to pick me up from school or from work because I physically cannot walk like my cramps were so bad I would feel it through like my toes and I know some of you women are GonNa feel me on this. Not all women experienced these types of crams. But when I was younger when I first start experiencing pms seeing it like cramps. It was so bad on like so bad that time of the month was literally hell for me. And my doctor recommended me. To start taking birth control pills. So the pills were my first method of contraception and again it wasn't for sex I wasn't sexually active at that age at the time. I did it for the sole purpose of trying to just regulate my insides regulate my periods monthly periods And then once I started to become sexually active I started trying different methods. So I like I started with the pill then I tried the patch but I didn't like. The Patras to us I I will see that was easy to use. You basically can manipulate when you're period starts. So say you have a trip coming up and you're not trying to be on your period that week you can Keep the pad or the patch on for that week's. Your period hasn't come or you can make your period comes earlier. You can in a sense not to over complicate the conversation right now. On the Patrick and manipulate you period but I just didn't like that it would show because it would. You would have to place the on visible spots such as like your shoulder, your arm. Your but your hips and it was like if I was wearing swimsuits or going on vacation like you don't want the patch showing So against our with the pill, then the patch then went back to the Pale. Very on and off since I was sixteen seventeen years old, and then I finally ended up with implant in my arm called next upon and the biggest effect I received with this one was I was nauseous for like the first six months. I've had next upon now for about three years and it's been great. Actually I haven't experienced any side effects serious side effects except those first six months when I was very, very nauseous. But what does trouble me and would is always kind of in the back of my mind is you know these are hormones that I'm injecting into my body every single day since I was sixteen seventeen years old I'm twenty five now. So I've been on birth control for about eight nine years and a does it is worrisome. You know that I don't really know how this is going to affect me in the future when I do want to try and get pregnant like Willett 'cause my sex drive to go down will it cause? My will I have infertility issues while I have cancer I mean, these are all things that kind of past they're always in the back of my mind. Sure I. I take it now because to prevent pregnancy, of course. But There's all these hormones these notch unnatural things happening in my body I was as a result of birth control and we'll get into more detail after this commercial break. Are you looking to learn more about the latest trends from the fitness world. Are you confused by all the different trends that are out there? The GS MC fitness podcast is the place for you. The G. C. Fitness podcast is the place to come for people of all skill and interest levels. Join us as we explore the latest trends in the fitness world. Does that new exercise really work? Should I try yoga whatever your question chances are good. You'll find an answer on the GMC fitness podcast. Awful. was is welcome back to GMC health on this podcast. So. Where before the break I was Kinda sharing a little bit of my back story and my relationship. And experience the birth control. the site of fix is something that a lot of women. You know, hey, about being birth control. So we're I feel like we're kind of up against the wall here like okay. We don't want to be pregnant right now. So we'd take control, but then we don't want experience. Those very severe side effects. So. What option do you choose? Right. Now about seventeen million women. Are. Not. On birth control. Because they are sick of the hormones they are sick and tired of feeling abnormal not feeling like themselves. You know it's not just the physical symptoms we experience it literally alters our state of mind like you. Really crazy like these urges hormones being injected into our bodies So. Again I'm mainly speaking for the women who? You know are. Are. Just out of options the chided all their don't want to be experiencing any of those side effects you know what else is out there If you're someone listening right now in new don't agree with me in your life I'm on birth control nine. Fine. That's fine. This episodes not for you. This is for the women who are looking for an alternative are looking for a a better way to prevent pregnancy, but to do it and. A little more natural way without hormones. With no symptoms no severe side effects and that's where Sandra Pella tears contraceptive Joe comes into play and why this woman is going to disrupt the condom and the pill. Okay so like I mentioned. Sandra Pella Tears Company Ever Fem? Is, developing a contraceptive jail that could be the biggest breakthrough in birth control since the nineteen sixties. When Your job. Involves. Trying to bring to market what could be The biggest breakthrough in birth control since the pill you keep your mornings predictable. Every Weekday Sondra Peletier gets about four thirty am trying not to wake her ten-year-old son while she slips into a workout gear, which includes a sweat shirt with the word Bulls Bull S. H., it printed on high of shoulder. By five, the forty eight year old single mom lives about a half hour from the San Diego Offices over company evil. FEM biosciences is on the phone. Often with her investors in London. At Five thirty still on the phone Sondra Peletier Exeter garage with the quit not the nanny who was on her we it. Half an hour. Later she's a either cross fit or fit wall where she can work all the major muscle groups in forty minutes. As, the cooldown session begins Sondra, Peletier bolts already in route to our next up an triple soy Latte from starbucks. Since our no locker rooms either Jim, she swings back home the phone automatically clicking over to a waterproof speaker in the bathroom to clean up back in her car. She dictates emails to our assistant until arriving at the Office by eight thirty. We get quite a lot. Don't actually she says. But. There's always room for improvement. When Thomas Lynch the chairman of Evil Fans Board and the head of Ireland's largest hospital group asked what he could do to think. Sondra puppeteer for her work a CEO, a site from her stock. She responded by asking the shower be installed the office. So what you're telling me, he said. Is You. Want something that lets you work more. She did. In sancho pillow tears listen priorities. Her morning routine comes third after only her son and her company's. Leaves her mom and her fiance who's the founder? Of Apparel Company Athletic Duke it out for Fourth Place. Perhaps the reason Sandra bullock is so wedded to early morning. Certainty is not because of any deficiencies in our relationships with their loved ones but because our company is dealing with the level of uncertainty that most startups and their founders will never content with. Without a significant amount of failure Sandra politique concedes. That uncertainty may explain why when everyone in her son's class at school, how to say with their parents would like as a holiday. Her so replied, my mom would like a dirty Martini. For Sandra puppeteer to achieve, it will fem goal of becoming a global leader and women's health for its investors to return and to potentially affect women from San Diego Tamala. We she needs to successfully commercialize what is now the company's only product. Amphora also known as sexy. A new form of contraceptive jaw has yet to be approved by the US Food and Drug Administration. Innovations in contraception at least in the US have in recent years been few and far between. Yet according to the GUT matcher institute. Forty five percent of all US pregnancies are unplanned. Since introduction of the pill. Many birth control advances have been new delivery methods for the same hormones that have been used for decades. But about five point, three, million women can't safely take those hormones often because of previous sicknesses. Millions more simply don't want to be on hormones of their only occasionally having sex. When a patient asked her doctor for Hormone Holiday says Kelco. A partisan gynecologist and evil fem, chief medical officer. We just hand them a bunch of condoms and cross our fingers. A new form of birth control the district choir. A doctor administer is used only when a woman needs it and is hormone-free would be a breakthrough. In the clinical trial and four worked about as well as other contraceptive gels. It may also provide protection against KLA media and gonorrhea. Unlike. Other gels and four or Xy. Doesn't contain surfactants which can cause irritation and make it more likely that a woman will become infected with HIV. And without hormones? infora dozen produce side effects such as weight, gain depression or not. This could be one of the biggest innovations since the first birth control pill in nineteen sixty. That would be enough to put evil them on the path to becoming a billion dollar company. The current US market for contraceptives is estimated to be about six point six, billion dollars. About, four point five, million women who are sexually active don't use a contraceptive. Then there's the market for preventing sexually, transmitted diseases. When I was doing my training. We wouldn't put Ud's anybody says Andrea Thurman the Director of Conrad Clinical Research Center. Eastern Virginia Medical School. Now, we put them in everybody. It's very possible that twenty years from now everybody will be using an for the. And for also puts decision making power squarely in the hands of women. The GEL can be discreetly inserted via an applicator that looks like a small tampon up to an hour before sucks. A woman's partner can be as involved or not as she wishes. This is for an empowered woman Sandra Peletier. Emphasizing she doesn't just mean in the US. Her plan if she wins FDA approval is to distribute and for in the developing world on philanthropy basis. Pretty. Koha. The drug development resume in the US put entrepreneurs such as Peletier in limbo for terribly long time. The cost of bringing a new drug to market husband estimated anywhere from six hundred, forty, eight, million dollars to two point six billion. And the timeline can easily stretch to ten years. Development of 'em four began in the mid nineteen, Ninety S, and the result of its first clinical trial were published in. Nineteen, ninety nine. Sandra Peletier is in what should be the very last stages of this particular form of suffering and helps evil fem can bring 'em fora to market into thousand nineteen. But. There's no guarantee and do what make the cut. If and when the FDA does approve Amphora or foxy. There's always a chance that women won't flock to it. If that happens significant modifications to 'em fora or pretty much out of the question. In the world of new drugs start up mantras such as iterating and move fast and break things sound silly. A drug needs to be approved by the FDA and after that happens, there's not much room for change. Some drugs just get one shot. And Four On its second. We're GONNA come to very brief break and when we come back more on fora, FEC see an Sandra Peletier. Tired of searching the vast jungle of podcasts, listen close and here this out. See there's a podcast network that covers just about everything that you've been searching. The golden state media concepts. PODCAST network is here nothing less than a podcast lists with endless hours of podcast Harvard's. Sports music fashion looking entertainment fantasy football so much more. So stop lurking around and go straight out to the golden state media concepts podcast network guaranteed to fill that podcast is. Whatever, it may be visit us at www dot gs MC podcast, Dot com follow us on facebook and twitter download us on itunes soundcloud and Google play. Thank. God. Pop. Hey guys walk them to GMC welcome back I should say to GMC health on this podcast. So I really hope you guys are soaking and this background story I'm giving your on Sandra pillow tear I think it's important to kind of understand how this is developing her thought process and everything in between. When Sandra Peletier was in. First. Grade. Her mother started sending her to school and the kid version of a suit. Blue trousers and a blue, no collared shirt with contrasting trim or their lunch in a small briefcase. Pulitzer begged for lunch pail. Like what the other kid tied, but her mother told her Sandra School is not about eating. Her mother's singular mission was to her daughter out of Caribou Maine population seven, thousand, seven, hundred, thirty, six. PETIR, was plenty motivated to leave her grandparents had plumbing and her family was sometimes on food stamps. Sandra Peletier went to Hussin University in Bangor, and then our job in sales in the women's Health Division. At gd Searle selling its birth control pills. On Sundays shoe would map out the coming weeks studying Dr Schedules composing messages and choosing treats for the doctor staffs. I had this level of discipline that was like here's the goal. Here's how we're going to accomplish it. She recalls. She was awarded a top salesperson distinction and rose quickly through the ranks. When a colleague told her, she would have to stay in her post for three years before should be promoted. She corrected him. Maybe you have to stay your job for three years. She said I don't. She got promoted after two years by the time she was thirty four she was a vice president. But then came the mini midlife crisis. Early in her career, she had gone on a safari in Africa with the girlfriend. When the guide as if there was anything else, Sandra Peletier wanted to see she mentioned health clinics. A Cup remembering all these poor women she says. They're given an opportunity to have access to contraception. They don't have to be poor. It was a very reality check. She didn't think the her colleagues in women's health necessarily had internalized w-what women around the world were dealing with. Even in. Big Pharma. It didn't seem that we understood the gravitas of it. When women can make the right decisions for themselves and their families, and now it impacted everyone touched. We wanted to sell the product says Peletier. Sondra. Peletier. quit her job and became an executive coach. I had this fantasy. The all my clients would be women, she says. Of course, all my clients were men. Women just don't invest in themselves in that way. She got married she wrote a book about women's empowerment. She was repairing spent two years ceiling with her husband and discovered she was pregnant. Sandra, Peletier was shocked. Doctors had always told her she couldn't get pregnant. Now she was thirty seven and clearly they had been wrong. To. Sandra. Peletier. Their pregnancy felt faded. But this was not what her husband has signed up for. When someone isn't up for that? It's kind of a buzzkill she says. She told her husband she was having the baby he could stay or leave whatever. Within Three Years Sauna Peletier had a toddler, a divorce and her dream job. In two thousand nine, she was recruited for a role that directly addressed why been tugging at her all these years. Founding CEO a Woman Care Global a nonprofit that enable sustainable access to contraceptives in the developing world. She couldn't imagine doing anything else. Until she got a call in two, thousand thirteen from an executive of a small, a healthcare company called Yvonne. who was looking for some help marketing and commercializing a new contraceptive Gel called in Foru-. My first reaction was I'm flattered now please lose my number says Peletier. But when she started of researching and for she couldn't stop thinking about it. Evolved was working on products and dermatology pain relief and ministration, and I'd license and four I from Rush University in Chicago. In four was in a phase three clinical trial. Generally, the last hurdle before a drug is submitted for FDA approval. Sandra Appellate Tear agree to a three year consulting arrangement in which she'd write a business plan for the company raise money recruit talent, and prepare evolved for an IPO. In return evolved allow her to keep her position. Woman. Care Global. More importantly. Sondra Peletier manage to negotiate terms that could help her scale and accelerate permission. Once. In four was through the FDA gauntlet. Evoked with Selah in North America and Europe. But it would also give it to woman care global to distribute in the developing world on philanthropy basis. Eighteen months in it became clear to Sondra tear that informs might never become a blockbuster drug as long as had to compete for attention with an a small conglomerate. The had a smattering of unrelated products. She didn't think comes employees had the necessary experience and women's health or the ability to work at the pace she demanded. It was everything and the kitchen sink she says of the operation. No one was focusing on I'm for as the Golden? Child. She approached the board with an unexpected proposal. Spin and for how into its own company and formalize the relationship between the new up and woman care global as a public private partnership. With polit-, you're renting it all. Not, everyone liked the idea. Sandra Peletier says one of Yvonne's bankers and it's lawyers objected to a proposal to propose dual role. The Way Peletier Soy. If I were a man and I said to you the I'd built this amazing nonprofit and then started working to advance another product that could really help the human condition. You'd say, Oh, my God what a great human being she says. But because I'm a woman, you suggest I can't manage it all. Meanwhile, some of her staff at women care global where crazy about the proposal either. Sondra Peletier was equally blunt with them. She pointed out that I was becoming increasingly difficult for nonprofits to find donors. There was many private sector companies willing to partner with nonprofits, which they often derided as being filled with bleeding hearts who can't make good business decisions. If we can get access to this product that we all believe is game changing and we don't do it. Then shame on us she said. When skeptics accused Sandra? Of going back to the dark side, she reminded them. More money more mission period. Sondra Petir became the founder of Evil Fem biosciences focusing exclusively on him for the She perf- sweated evil. Evil meds original investors to stay on board took zero employees with her. Found new office space and hired her own team. which included commercialization pros from major drug companies. Do I. DO things is different says Sandra played tear I needed very disciplined environment. In. December two, thousand, fourteen. Sondra tears team was hunkered down in a hotel breakout room in Washington. DC preparing to meet with the FDA. It. was supposed to be a routine meeting. The kind any company has with the governmental agency before filing for approval. But Sandra Peletier also had something on her mind that. She was hoping to get clarity on. She had discovered that a portion of the patients in an forest face three trial were outside the US and Russia of all places. A move generally frowned upon by the FDA. We're GonNa into very brief break you guys and when we come back more on Sandra polit- tier and I'm for. The Live in happiness podcast takes you want a journey of exploration we'll discuss tried and true methods alongside the latest rents the how to best live your life to its fullest in happiest from psychology to meditation science to self help books the GMC live happiness podcast we'll help you to discover what makes you happy and how you can live live being the best you possible download the MC life and happiness podcast on itunes stitcher soundcloud, Google play, or anywhere you find podcasts just tying GSM see in the search bar. Pack. What's up you guys welcome back to Jesus Mc held on this podcast continue on with the conversation of the future of birth control and it's back story. So right. Before the break we discussed how Sandra Peletier had something on her mind but she wanted a little bit more clarity on and she had discovered that of. Big Portion of the patients in the phase three clinical trial. Fora were based and Russia which is not you know it's very frowned upon by the FDA not a good luck. And more traveling was the fact that no-one Edmund was able to explain. Why the Russian sites were being used. Drug companies typically outsource their clinical trials to contract. Research Organizations. In this case, a that once ev mind hired its CRO. Didn't pay much attention to the details. We thought the head of the R.. Was just a rock star in his field sums says Tom Darden one of the founders of Edmund. The trial was contracted out with a great deal of confidence in him and he was managing that process. Sandra Peletier was planning to teleconference into the meeting with the. C. O and the FDA. But as her team was preparing someone from the Cro arrived with news, no one could have anticipated. The CEO of the CRO had decided to fly piloting his private plane along with two of his colleagues. It turned out the he'd neglected to de ice the plane which led to his crashing into a house and killing everyone on board and a mother and two children in the home. It was the most bizarre shocking thing. Everyone the FDA knew the people at the C. R. O. and they were all crying. Sondra politician was stunned. Six were dud an among them were the only people who could help her understand the trial which in forest fate seemed to hinge. That's when we started to be like Oh. My God this is very stressful and cirrus she says. Standing still was not an option. Of Foam presented at a conference for investors and it went well enough that by the spring of two thousand Sixteen Sondra, Petir had the company on a road show to raise two hundred million dollars in an IPO. She ran commitments about half that amount and was confident. She could raise the rest. But during that time shares in volume recruiting over it and specification by the US Securities and exchange. Commission. Prospective investor started guests getting spooked. Sandra. peletier decided to pull the plug on the IPO at least for now better to try an after FDA approval. Then, in April of two, Thousand Sixteen Sondra Pulitzer finally heard from the FDA. The verdict. It would not accept the Russian Dida, and therefore, it couldn't approve the drug application and its form. I was in shock says Sandra Peletier. I couldn't even process it. I thought this cannot be happening. Sondra tear has adjusted to life in perpetrator uncertainty. Ever foams headquarters on the sixth floor of an office building looking out at the San. Diego Hills is filled with indicators that she has no plans to get drilled. In political office hangs a quote from writer Rebecca West which reads in part. I, only know that people call me a feminist will I express mints the differentiate me from a door MAC. It's when a fifteen feminists quotes display throughout the company's office. Although building management made peletier remove most of the ones she printed the ladies room on the grounds that they were too provocative. What is technically shared space? On an August afternoon. Executives from both of Foam and woman care global gathering side Pellets Tears Office for their monthly meeting. The conversation ricochets from startup us like vendor payments and package design to ones that would sound more at home on an NGO like the timing of grants from the US Agency for International Development. While, the two teams are wildly different operations, their goals in her wind. If am for a winds. CARE global could greatly increase its impact by say. Distributing the product across Africa to sex workers who need contraception that's acceptable to their clients and saved to use multiple times a day. Throughout. The meeting Sandra Peletier pelter staff with the same question. What else? What's left unsaid? The on know what's left unsaid The possibility of failure than the matter. How much Sandra poetry. And her team tried to blip roof, the new phase three study and for a still might not get approved. A, little more than a year ago. On, the day the Sandro Peletier found out the FDA in line image was rejecting and forest application. Og She could think about was was she would tell her investors. She gathered her staff and f Mount Boardroom with framed pictures of Amelia earhart and Malala USA Fussy, and told them they had forty hours to figure this out. Her team committed to having a phase three trial design with three months. Sandra Peletier and our CFO agreed to pay cuts. She would have to lay off six people. Then there were the commercialization experts she'd hired who now had no product to commercialize. If I'm could get back on track with FDA. These employees had the very skills of would need in twelve to eighteen months. Sandra Peletier told them she could find jobs for them. From in the interim. If I do this she told them. And you don't want to be here. I will hunt you down and torture you for the rest of my life. And the allstate. PELLETIER's investors didn't love the fact that they were looking at another trial. But the like that took peletier about two minutes to get back on her feet. Says One an agreed to back her plan. The new goal. FDA approval in two thousand nineteen. Now. Pilla tear is obsessed with controlling the outcomes of the new phase three trial. I say every single day. Control every single thing we know we can control. She says, micromanaging doesn't come naturally to her. Her philosophy is to hire good people and let them do their jobs except of course, where she doesn't think they're doing their job well professionally or personally. During performance, review of one senior employee. told her she'd get fired. She didn't start dating online. She was complaining about not being a relationship so much and not doing anything about it. I just couldn't take it anymore says Peletier. Once the employee put up an online profile. Politician got a marketing consultant to write rewrite. The whole episode was creepy except that it worked and the employee is not happily married to someone she met online. Sondra is at the extreme says Darden. She. Gets perfection in execution. With, four beginning its second phase three trial. Peletier has endorsed every control-freak Impulse It could be done with sixty sites, but she's arranged for hundred? Fifteen. She's enlisted her head of medical affairs to oversee the trial even though it's typically tasked to a project manager level employees. When the study kicked off in June. Peletier flew to Atlanta to talk to the people who will be working directly with patients. Something see does almost never do. Doesn't imagine her new. CEO loves all this meddling but she doesn't care. They want this study to be over polit-. Says they think we're nuts. Seeming a little crazy is a small price to pray at gets to if it gets her to the only acceptable outcome. Though. She easily discusses such uncomfortable topics, a surprise pregnancy, her divorce, and even FDA rejection her voice cracks, which she has asked what would happen if m for fails this trial? We're GONNA into very brief break, and when we come back more on Amphora and this phase three trial. Are you tired of the same Old News. Are you sick of the seemingly endless political spin? Negatively the DIAZ NC America still beautiful podcast is a weekly news podcast covering all the top positive and uplifting news stories. We cover stories that will inspire uplift and remind you of the good in the world tune into the golden state media concepts. America's still beautiful podcast to get all the great and positive news stories of today download the Jesus Mc. America's still beautiful podcast on itunes stitcher soundcloud Google play, or anywhere your podcasts just tight Diaz Mc in the search bar. Guys welcome back to GMC them. On this podcast. We are now entering the final segment. In today's episode, we're going to wrap up this quick story regarding Sandra Peletier FDA talk com for everything, and we'll get more into the. Product. If the drug. Does Not get approved polit- tear swallows there are options. ebl Fam- might be able to survive by managing drugs developed by companies. But Evil FEM would most likely have to sell them for probably to a larger drug company that can market and so as a medicine to be used against STD's or bacterial vaginal basis. Of A would get paid royalties and its investors we get some money back. puppeteer it looks like she's going to quietly choke as she explains this. She would also offer her resignation. She says, she did that when the FDA denied and force application, but her investors don't remember it. They say that's possible because it was the last thing they wanted. They were counting on her to turn this thing around and as she did to resign, they say they dismissed the idea as quickly as he could. So. The quest for better control. There's been a lot of other. Options as far as a better birth control. Amphora is the only game in town when it comes to advancements and contraception. There's also Kaya Diaphragm. Path path. A Global Health nonprofit modernize diaphragm, which once popular in the nineteen forties had long fallen out of favor among women. The Seattle based organizations diaphragm is latex free. EASIER TO INSERT and remove and designed to fit about eighty percent of women. It's been on the market since doesn't fifteen the year after getting FDA approval. Then they're syon press. injectable contraceptives are the most popular form of birth control and some African countries but using them requires regular access to doctors a challenge in some regions. This one piece injectable sold by Merck, which was made available in the UK and some EU an African countries in two thousand fifteen is already loaded enabling women to administer it themselves. Then, there's equal Vija. With the male birth control pills, still a distant dream contra lines joe might one day become the closest thing to it. The CHARLOTTESVILLE Virginia based startup is working on a non-surgical reversible alternative to the sucked Ame- of which there are some five hundred thousand performed every year. Guided by ultrasound. A doctor can injunctions jaw into the vast deference where it solidifies enough to keep sperm from getting out during Jackie relation. The early stage company which has raised two point five million dollars from investors including founders. Fund is doing animal studies hoping to have a product on the market by two thousand, twenty one. Now, these are the other birth controls but the one that Sondra tears specifically designed and is actually out on the market is called sexy P. H. E. Double X. I. Fekszi and it's a vaginal Joe, it contains lactic acid such a acid and potassium burr try, and it is actually now FDA approved hormone free most importantly birth control. So ladies were not going to experience those nasty side effects that were used to what the pill or with the deputy shaw or with whatever method you choose or you have chosen for your. Birth Control. And the name or the reason behind faculty. So Ph dance for the Ph balance of the vagina. Double X. For Women Chromosome and then sexy runs with sexy. So I think it's a really cute way or cute play on words like I said, it's a new FDA approved hormone free birth. Control Foxy is non hormonal prescription vaginal gel us to prevent pregnancy females who choose to use an on demand method of birth control. F-. Xi's only effective when US immediately before or up to one hour before each act of agile sex. Foxy does not protect against any sexually transmitted infections including H. I. V.. So that is something to consider and it looks kind of like a Tampon So you put it in as a Tampon a dispose of the applicator. And it's really cool. Honestly, it's a fresh take if you know what I mean. So here actually some possible side of sexy. And studies less than two percent of women stopped using sexy because of side effects less than two percent. The most common side effects were vaginal burning vaginal itching vaginal yeast infection. Urinary tract infection vaginal area discomfort, bacterial veggie, nooses, imagine discharge. Women also reported genital discomfort. Pain while urinating imaginable pain. Some male partners reported genital discomfort including burning, itching, and pain. So avoid sexy. Repeated Urinary Tract infections or other urinary tract problems you or your partner is allergic to any of the ingredients infects or if you're using vaginal rink. So that is really the most severe case of side effects So again, I was in less than two percent. Less than two percent. So very low number like I said, this is a contraceptive gel that use on demand. So you only use it right when you're body get down. All right. So that's the thing with the typical birth control that we use. Nowadays, women don't have sex every single day. So we don't need to be on birth control every single day, but it says signed that way that we take every single day. As opposed effect, see where you take it only on demand when you're about to get down, you feel me. So that is something rarely and Tyson are elected has zero hormones. You're not going experience was crazy side effects and it's really quick really easy really simple. So I'm all for it. Again it is facts fat Vecsey P. H. E. X. I you can look up more information on he dot com if you're interested and this is so awesome. The Sondra tear really pushed for this So thank you Sondra plantier for being you know one of the leaders and women's health and really changing the way we think and feel about birth control. This is a future birth control. Guys I. Hope You guys are excited just as excited as I. Am I definitely want to try I'm GonNa talk to my doctor about it and about sexy. So you guys that's GonNa wrap up today's episode here at the GS. Mc Health the woman podcast if you made it this far listening to my husky voice. Thank you I appreciate you for making it this far, not exiting out the first three seconds you heard my voice. If you guys enjoy today's episode. Please don't forget to like share. Subscribe comment all of that stuff because that tremendously helps a show and a culture guys here for the next one. You've been listening to the golden state media concepts, health and wellness podcast part of the Golden State media concept's podcast network. You can find this show and others like it at www dot com, Jesus MC podcast dot com download our podcast on itunes stitcher soundcloud google play existed typing G. M. C. to find all the shows from the golden state media concepts podcast network from movies to music from sports to entertainment and even weird us. You can also follow us on twitter and on facebook. Thank you and we hope you have enjoyed today's.

Sandra Peletier Sondra Sandra. peletier FDA FDA CEO GMC Google founder Sandra partner Sandra polit Sondra Pulitzer US executive Sondra Peletier Exeter Peletier Sandra bullock
Priscilla and Sondra Brown Ask The Tough Questions

Ponderings from the Perch

46:22 min | 1 year ago

Priscilla and Sondra Brown Ask The Tough Questions

"Hey you listening to this podcast right now. Did you ever think. And there's so many kick as market research podcasts. I wish there was some sort word of an award for them so I could vote for my favorite. Well you're in luck in partnership with Green Book. Little Bird marketing excited well actually ecstatic to announced the first ever annual market research. podcast award nominate your favorite insights industry. podcast from now until February fifteenth from February February sixteenth until March thirty. First vote for your favorite podcasts in the insights industry and bestow upon them the title of 'em our podcast of the year ear. Don't forget submissions are due for nominations. By February fifteen and the winner will be announced on April Fifteenth at Green Books. I X North America America in Austin Texas Visit Little Bird Marketing Dot com forward slash. Mr Hyphen podcast Hyphen Award. Welcome to ponderings from the Pertz with me. Today is Sandra Brown. She is the president at market dynamics research group and she is cool so that's why she gets to be on the PODCAST. Thank you thank someone to no one furniture. You know it's about I know cool people and you know cool people and it turns out those the same cool people and so we got to be together exactly exactly well. You'RE GONNA love this today. Sondra is well versed in all areas of marketing research and she has an absolute passion. That you'll see come out right away for the actual rigor of research and that coupled with her pursuit of innovation is actually changing the way we're understanding consumer behavior and and I met her at CRC which you're going to hear a little bit more that specifically designed for corporate researchers and she does that kind of work with one goal in mind in helping those kinds of companies uncovered rich insights to help make smarter businesses citizens and smarter marketing decisions. And so I a love talking with people who are super smart in their field and especially at these types of events were really talking about more innovative approaches and really a little bit of critical thinking. You're going to hear hear that little bit more but over at md Rg Sondra is embracing the influence of technology and with behavioral economic advances. And then she's really helping the whole team come into an approach that they have called the whole mind approach and it's a commitment understanding consumers through both system one and system system to and you hear US talk about those kinds of things a lot but she has so much experience. She has been working in so many different kinds of industries. Tourism Tourism Financial Services Healthcare utilities telecom and all kinds of CPG. So she's got tons of experience. You'RE GONNA love hearing from her and we're going to talk specifically early about some of the things that are important about around innovating but really also important around. What's our goal? What's our what's our mission? Addition is market researcher. So Sondra Welcome. Thank you for Tele. I'm excited to have this conversation. Yes so talk a little bit. Tell people who don't know about not CRC You know what it's about and what you were doing there that. CRC is the Corporate Researchers Conference. And I was there to present our work with French market coffee which is a iconic coffee brand that was struggling drug ling to evolve and meet the expectations and needs of younger coffee consumers the VP of of marketing talked about the need to really re innovate as our consumers are exiting the category which is a funny euphemism you from ISM for. They're just old around very long. When you say that your consumer is dying what do you mean? Meaning they are old and literally are dying and so that if this brand which had been around for one hundred twenty years was going to continue media to be around for the next hundred twenty years they needed to figure out how to bring a younger consumer into their fold well and this is so interesting because you have so so much great experience and I think this is very in a Lotta ways kind of you to come to these conferences and share a little bit of the the failures and the winds. And that's what that's what I like about it. There's a lot of vulnerability in the conversations. We're having because they're also brand new brands. That are having these same kinds of problems and it is interesting to hear about. What's the rigor behind market research? That helps a brand. That is a legacy brand really. Stay stay current so tell us a a little bit about why you came and because it's coffee believe me we're GONNA come back around to the conversation you add but for you personally why do you. Why do you show up to to those events? You know there's A. There's a number of reasons but first and foremost I would say right now. Is that the industry. The market researching insights industry is changing changing so rapidly. And it's incredibly important to stay on top of what's out there but also to learn from each other now when when I attend these conferences I'm always challenged in some way to either. Try something new partner with another company to really push our work Ford or even just to get the fodder for pushing harder on initiatives within my own company because to your point earlier we have have been innovating our own work and the way that we approach clients in the past couple of years and I think it's very important for us to hear the perspectives of the end. The clients is to what's important to them and how this innovation is really helping them to do their jobs more effectively. Yeah I love that and you and I talked a lot about the rigor of the innovation behind it the embracing of technology but also we ended up in a very interesting conversation. That really shot off in a different direction. And so I'm going to let my. My audience is in on this interesting conversation. I'd like to have them here. Your thoughts if you remember. We talked about Brett Townsend and he is the head of North America insights for Electrolux. And you and I ended up talking about his presentation and I loved your take econit and I tell my audience a little bit about why you thought it was such a great presentation. Why it was worth you know the thought and and also the continued conversation definitely? He talked about the fact that this is such a great time time in the insights world. We know so much about how consumers make decisions and really connect to brands. And it's all the things that we're talking about with behavioral science and neuroscience and technology facilitating that and yet as insights insights professionals and market researchers. We don't always have a seat at the table and that's because we are not thinking about how the work that we do is really pushing the business forward and he was very specific that what we do in market research and insights needs to be about selling more things it we really need to be tying our work to sales and that's where oftentimes we have failed as researchers and we we don't live in a world where we can research search nice to know and if we want to have you know if we want to get the attention of the CEO. We have got to start thinking like him or her. You're right. I love that idea because on one hand at a lot of research conferences it we do hear a lot of these myopic stories. The Tales of you know the specifics vix on his inaugural fear. What a special snowflake a certain methodology is or you know it gets really into data and into the process? And you're right. It's kind of like well. It wasn't that interesting. I think a lot of market researchers are at their core just curious people but this earning and really keeping a seat seat at the C. Suite or really being able to use the data in a way where you're talking directly to people who are making a business decision. How does how you know when there's been a time when you've experienced that and you've you've you've sat at that table and you've had something to say and you felt like it went? Well Yeah So. Those are the kinds of conversations that we really want to be having with with our clients. it's been a bit of a struggle But an example of one that has gone well as exactly this this presentation that I gave and delivered at CRC which was on and this brand. French market coffee and the challenges that they were having and where would the consumer voice help them to push this brand forward and what are those KPI's that are going to demonstrate a measure success. I know we're going to talk about that that case study but I I think it's a perfect example of exactly what Brett was challenging the industry to do. Yeah definitely so let's talk. Let's unpack that idea of measuring in. KPI's because I have to admit you know. I hear from a lot of people. Sometimes it kind of I flinch a little bit because I'm like Oh measure. KPI's it sounds like a buzzword but really in your day to day what does it mean and what is the real like real value like when you have to when you get to set. The you know. The three letters k. p. i. away on a shelf in a really just talking with someone in the C. Suite what are those conversations like what is the real value there. Yeah so I think the the value for us in the industry is that if we can connect the dots for the C. Suite between consumer insights. It's and what their ultimate goals are for their companies for their organizations. We are going to cease to be. You know the nice to know or cease to be the partner that when times are great they bring to the table but when an financial challenges or time constraint challenges emerge we're easily expendable. I think about some of the work that we've been doing with a large health system client in. We've had this client for a long time but certainly the work that we've been doing in twenty nineteen eighteen with their consumer strategy group. They really needed to. Here's one good example They wanted to increase the number of patients and prospective patients who were taking advantage of Of the referrals that they were given for specialty. Care Kirk okay And what they found was only forty six percent of their patients would actually take the next step and take take them up on the referral so in our work to understand. How does the consumer want that to happen? How do they want the or the health system to help shepherd them through that? And now what we're able to do is to say. How is that number trending up? Is it fifty percent percentage at sixty percent. What does that look like? And I think part of why we've struggled with owning our contribution into sales or in this case referrals is because as researchers we were cognizant of the fact that there's so so many different variables that can come into play with in terms of looking at these these. KPI's in these successes and yet going back to Brett's conversation with the CRC attendees sales isn't having difficulty alty and claiming their success using our insights right. product-development isn't so we need to stop saying well. There's all these other factors actors that contribute to success we need to own our own contribution to those increased referrals or additional widgets that are being sold. Does that make sense. Yeah absolutely so then. KPI's become like that tool that measurement that we give you the proof. Let me give you the proof about how we actually contributed here exactly. I want to take a step back just one minute. It's kind of like it makes me think of a bigger issue at the top. Where kind of old school what you would think of like like advertising is being crammed down? Someone's throat the company's not listen. We don't care what the what the consumer says. We just want you to buy more stuff right so there's like very an ideal. Oh you know over there but I think what I hear you saying is that there's also something to be said for this very myopic. We understand everything that the consumer wants and all about. But we're not making any eh right and so it's about really coming into that center. And how can we keep harnessing technology better methodologies. How can we measure better? It will be a better conversation collaborate better in that middle where that you talked about kind of that sweet spot where consumer insights and what consumers want in in customer sentiment may be an experience like you said. How did they want to receive that referral? What was the pathway? Where that gets in total alignment with things that are also good for the company and Zach are making money? So let's talk a little bit about that because I do think that is a really good dovetail right into what you guys represented. MD Rg and so tell us about what market dynamics research group presented CRC and. Because I thought it was fascinating meeting and I I. I wish more people could hear a lot of those You know a lot of those presentations but for those who weren't there give us like a like a four or five minute kind of summary for sure so I just want to say one thing to add to what what you just said you know if we aren't presenting what we have to sell or what our clients have to sell in a way that really meets consumer Seymour expectations in consumer needs. We're not going to be successful in our efforts because there's so much competition and disruption in so so many different industries and that's where consumer insights comes in. Yes we do need to sell more things. But we're not going to do that unless it's grounded founded in consumer preferences and expectations right because you may get some kind of a short win but it certainly is not going to be sustainable. Absolutely yeah so that actually brings me to another word you and I talked about a lot would wear. It's era and that was responsibility. What is the responsibility of the market researcher? So the yeah tied a little bit with your presentation let people know the good stuff you guys. You guys showcased so as I mentioned that the presentation presentation was a presentation about how a brand French market coffee which is a very small niche brand within the overall Riley foods portfolio responded to all the disruption and changes that was going on in the coffee industry. You know uh-huh and really it's a story about a decision to grow and while so often it would be great if brands just grow organically. I would argue that most brands reach an inflection point where they have to make a decision to grow the brand. Whether that's large brands like coke or PABST Blue Ribbon. Those are also very old iconic brands but throughout their history they have adapted and changed and evolved loved and sometimes reacting to consumer trends but hopefully anticipating them and finding ways to stay relevant right crammer creating consumer trends themselves. Yes it's pretty however enter French market coffee. They really while staying true to their original ally density I would argue. They would argue to to perhaps and so they were really faced with the challenge. Of How do they shake themselves out of you've the stagnation and it was interesting. Because it's funny very serendipitous thing happened along the way that ultimately pushed them in this new direction they without any consumer insights launched a cold brew product. They knew that that would be the way into a younger consumer. And and Lo and behold it was successful and then what they had to do is come back to their roots and say okay now. How do we unpack this? Success and more effectively and seamlessly layer this into our overall French market coffee brand. And that's when they reached out to us You you know. I like to think it's in large part because of our whole mind approach But they they started with. What do we already know? and which is a place we often times start. We don't start from scratch. We went back and looked at a at their and you study and segmented coffee consumers and found that there were these three very distinct segments of coffee consumers one was their consumer a group that was truly exiting the category. They weren't kidding. There were old and they were not going but they were not relevant to the competitor. The primary competitor's consumers and absolutely not relevant and appealing to a younger millennial consumer and that's where then we ended With our cultural anthropologists that we have on staff conducting some consumer ethnography. Enter Technology. Were able to do that in a very effective way. Using Mobile ethnographic to really understand consumer habits behaviors and motivations how. They're shopping the shelf and from there they were able to then understand what are the assets and opportunities that they could really rebuild. The brand on there was a series of additional pieces of research that I looked at positioning work. The actual creative execution in the in the overall package design and it every step of the way the client their agency had. It was a partnership between all three of US really thinking about. How do we learn from these consumers in a way? That's going to allow us to capitalize on this success. Become relevant to this younger consumer while still not alienating that core consumer base that has kept US alive all these years and they did a brilliant job at that and going back to this whole conversation. We're having around. KPI's in addition to looking at their brand tracker which were conducting for them and being able to see those metrics rise. They are also seeing measurable growth in sales and volume organic velocity increased by thirty five five percent. It's it's been such a great success story and it completely dovetails with Brett's talk about the importance of bringing it full circle. Why were we doing this in the first place? It's to grow the brand right. Okay I just want to back up on one quote that you actually said totally music to my ears and that was literally at rolled off your off your said using the cultural anthropologist on-staff and let me just tell you as a cultural anthropologist. Trade are just. I really enjoyed that sentence. Thanks very nice as well. Then let's take a quick break so I can tell you about this show sponsor. Hopefully you've noticed. Social Selling Selling has fundamentally transformed the way consumers gather insight journey through the buying process and eventually make purchase decisions for successful business professionals nationals. Who Need to meet company growth goals? 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Let's get back to this idea here you you know you're talking about having a voice and being responsible you know with the way that we set up my research so that we know that we're being responsible with the Outcomes that their that their outcomes are immediately actionable and maybe immediately actionable is not really the the drive so much what I hear you saying. Is that it that it all points you. As a market researcher and his market research company are keeping this really. I guess what we would call maybe a a healthy self critique about the work that you're doing and the value that you are actually bringing to the brand so we're not going off into this tangent of Ohio love this research but is this bringing something of value to the company. Yes and that that we have for years in our work always made sure that we started with the question. What's the decision or the business decision that you're trying to make? And from there the research plan the proposal emerges but what. I'm what I have challenged. My team with is to even take a step further back back from that is to say not only. What's the business decision that you're trying to make? But how is this going to be used to help. Further the overall goals of the organization you know what are the. KPI's what are the sales goals that the organization has but also so how does this fit within the overall strategic plan for the organization. And I think that's a place where market research and the insights industry has not done a particularly effective job. We Stayed Silo D- On just the the research task at hand and that has changed everything about the way that we work with clients. Now how would you bring that up with a quiet because As you mentioned you know research has has kinda done a poor job of doing that. They stayed silent and so they're not really The first people you know to talk about collaboration and how how do you think researchers responsible and responding to that idea can start having different conversations with their clients. What does that look like even over at? MD RG definitely so. I think that that looks different. Depending on the extent of the relationship that you have with the clients so for clients where we are working extensively with throughout the a year. I can talk to you about how that looks. But even if it's just simply a one off project to get the the relationship ships started it's to really understand and ask questions about how the initiative and how the research ask ladders there's back to the corporate objectives and and then for us and leveraging our cultural anthropologists on staff making sure that we are understanding the competitive landscape and understanding how our research fits into that landscape. I love that and it really. The you know. It really became evident How the findings that emerged? Were obviously collaborative. That was really cool to see. I think that came out very well in the presentation so I wanna take this maybe a little bit of a different direction. I happen to know that at M. D. R. G.. You who is also made a conscious decision to grow. And I think some of these things you're talking about that resonated with you From the head of insights electrolux. And then with what you all were presenting but also I think it resonates because I think there's almost parallel story story here with your company and the actual decision to grow. This is an intent and once you you say you you kind of you know oh put that stake in the ground. What happens to you as a company? How did you guys? You mentioned that the the coffee company then had to start with. What do we know? And where do we go from. I'm here so tell me a little bit about what. What was the leader? What was happening in two thousand eighteen in two thousand nineteen at your company? That really you know saw some changes inches like this sure. So we've been around for a long time. Had great success over the years but but as we began to talk internally about where do we want to grow this business. And what's the type of work that really gets us out of bed in the morning because at the end of the day we should all be doing things that we love. That doesn't mean that we love every single all things that we have to cross off on our to do list every day but we really should love the work that we do otherwise. We don't belong in this industry and so as we begin to talk about that it really was the work that was far more strategic. And and we were healy understanding how how our work fits into the broader goals of the organization. And so if we were going to do that not only was it going to change. Change how we worked with clients but it was really going to change the conversation that we were having with clients and then I think you have to couple that with all of the changes that were occurring in our in the market research space with what we knew from Behavioral Economics and Neuroscience Enter Technology Gi enabling us to really conduct market research in a different way and so as we through all that on the table and began to unpack that for us. It meant we really need to rethink the roles that we play with clients need to rethink the kinds of conversations. And we need to rethink the talent that we're that we're hiring and and really our deliverables so I can pay that off a bit if you're interested yet. I really think it is interesting and then I'm going to ask a follow up question about you as an entrepreneur but yeah unpack a few of those so it resulted in some some changes you change some rules. You change some talent around you change some conversations. These are pretty deep things you and then I love this. You ended by saying that you change some deliverable also. Yeah unpack any of those. I think they're really interesting. I think people would like to know for example gear right so one of the probably the biggest Aha moment for us. is we thought about if we really are going to position ourselves as an insights partner with into our clients we had we had to have a deeper understanding of what their challenges were an how our work fit into do their work so for us that meant that in addition to people who had strong research chops and I have those on staff But we also needed to bring on people who had worked in marketing who had worked in advertising who had worked on the product development side people with consulting experience experience so they could help get us out of the you know the Myopia of how we had been working with clients that has meant to building out a client services team for us so that we have people on staff that are on at their responsibility is is to is to the client relationship not necessarily to work but then ensuring that we're creating significant cohesion across cross those teams because we need both and clients need both for lack of a better word in there. It's like you need to have those people who just don't believe in sacred cows and just say you know what it's all up it's all fodder. It's all feedback and the feedback. That matters is what's coming from. The client is fitting with this this answering questions. They they have so. I really love that idea because I think they kind of keep flowing back and forth to each other because you listen differently then you know. Then you're you're hearing different things. Then you know you have to change the way you present that the I mean it's just it's this really nice flow that's happening And one of the other things I'd say about what that is. Oh he just hitting on one of my love is that you're you know what you're telling me is that your company really got down dirty and really did some solid persona work. Let's figure out. Now what makes these people tick. Let's figure out if we really can't help them. Let's figure out what's keeping them up on Sunday night. What's getting them up on Monday morning? And try and and start speaking to those things that are going to make a difference right exactly and and making sure that we are not talking methodologies corologis. We're not just talking about the things that we love. And let's be real where researchers we love to talk methodology but guess what clients don't want to talk talk methodology. They don't want to debate the merits of one community platform versus another. WHAT THEY WANNA know is is this research design or is this insights plan going to help me accomplish the things that I need to report back to my degree three? Yeah and I have so many market researchers come on you know this podcast and I greet nerds nerds but this idea that it really does tells tells back in why Bradstock even resonated with you because what you what you here at the bottom of that and what you guys act actualized in the research with French market was this responsibility that you have to not be a loyalist to your own 'cause but be a loyalist a-list to solving the problems of your client exactly and it also changes the way that we deliver insights back to to clients right now. We we I remember the days of the hundred and fifty page deck than than than to wait through you And and we have spent a lot of time in twenty eighteen and particularly twenty nineteen re imagining adjoining the deliverables that we provide back to clients. And it's no longer a single hundred sixty page deck back that might still be a deliverable for certain clients but it starts with quick insights using storytelling perspective. Tip To tell the story of the data and how. It's going to help them answer the questions. There was one consultant that we worked with. Who used this this framework snack bite meal Give them a snack of what are the insights that you're seeing then serve them up a a bite size which may be oftentimes for us. It's the first twenty slides or so of a deck that a client can lift deliver to an internal attornal audience and it tells the story of the data and the meal is the rest of the deck that if someone who really wants to geek out on all the numbers and unpack packet. It's there for you but it's not required on love that so I I love ending without about deliverables because in the end that that you know Oh presentation meeting to the client needs to be something that is not easily napped through. I mean they spent a lot of money getting great insights and it needs you. It should be exciting. It should be enlivening and it should be engaging and if it's not then I i. I'm not sure that we've asked the right questions. Because if these were the questions that were pressing for them so they were the things they long to hear. So if then the presentation and the deliverables fall short on that then. Somehow I'm how there's some lack of alignment right and we might have asked the right questions but we're absolutely not serving it back to them in a way that they can snack on and bite eight off easily. And that's everything from the way that you're presenting the insights of the story back to making sure that we have presentations and reports that are easy to uptake. So we're working with a designer on every single report that goes back to clients takes time but worth it right absolutely. It's worth it okay. I've got a personal question for you as the President and founder of MDR. G Talk about how much your company changed in two thousand eighteen two thousand nineteen you shifted. You were like well. Who Do we want to be? You know You know what kind of work do we want to be doing. What kind of solutions do we want to be providing? What kind of collaborations we we want to be a part of? So what was that like for you as a President bringing so many people to the table and really switching up what you were doing how you started the company. Is there some kind of A. You know a memory you have of about that or just you know thought about was that hard for you. was that easy for you. Was it enjoyable process. Or not so the impetus of it was I was invited to participate in the Goldman Sachs ten thousand small businesses program and and it fundamentally changed the way that I viewed my business awesome stood up on the first day. You know there's there's usually a cohort of about fifty people and I stood up on the first day introduced myself introduced. My Company explained what we do and then said I have a successful company despite myself and what I meant by that is. I am a very good researcher. I love and passionate about market search but I had no idea what I was doing from a marketing and business planning perspective interesting and so that gave me me the framework for growing the business and from there I began to really bring on talent. That could help me achieve those goals so KPI's for ourselves. It's like we joke around all the time you know. We're marketing in company. Who actually does marketing ourselves first? But we're such a rarity because it's always that case of the Cobbler's kids who have no shoes and I find that a lot in market research I kind of joke around with a lot of market researchers and I'm like well. When was the last time you guys did market research on your cells? They just laugh. You know so it's really fortunately true. It is true but it's very cool to hear you say this. You know this reflective again we kinda come back to that idea of healthy self criticism you know. What are we doing here and is the work we want to be doing? And then some of that becomes fun. That wind gauge. How do I get the right people around me? You know in order to help me make that happen. But I love hearing hearing that applying some rigor to really coming out into the market differently and certainly You know how you all have embraced technology and really a differentiation coming into the market with a differentiation. The whole mind approaches is very different and and and proprietary system And I and I think it shows it shows to me when other people do the work to understand. How is your work going to be received? Yes and you know I think about all of the different technologies solves and solutions that are out there right now and there are so many it can be overwhelming. We as an industry have to really look at these and say which one of these are really going to make our work better. And so we've part of our own innovation and you ah reclaiming our role in the insight. Space was to build out an internal team. That's constantly vetting all these new tools and and methodologies not because we want to bring those to the forefront of our conversations with clients but which ones are ready for prime time that's sort of our internal metric and which which ones are really going to make our work better or which ones are just kind of the cool sexy new tool on the on the horizon. I hear you I hear you. Okay you and I can talk forever so we got a wrap up. So let's do a quick rapid fire just so people get to know a little bit more about you. I did kind of end. On a more personal note and I know that a lot of the entrepreneurs there's and co-founders and founders presidents that are in my audience appreciate that kind of a you know a little bit more of a human approach but so share with me. Best and worse advice you've ever received professional sure so the best. Let me start with the worst case of advice that I ever received and that is stay under the radar you know if we want to be thought leaders and we want to be part of the conversations that the C. Suite is having and I think this is particularly important for women we need to be be willing to tout our successes be the voice in the room that is being listened to we need to understand stand. Show the our C. Suite clients and other women what success and confidence looks like so. I think that's a terrible piece of advice. I love it it love it. You know a lot of people complain to me Well I didn't know what to that conference and there was so many men presenting. I'm like you know what I am a lot of times privy to the conversations. Sion's where the organizers are trying to get the right speakers and I have been privy to a lot of conversations where they have asked women in the women have turned them down and so as much as we want this parody and we want to be seen and we WANNA live above the the radar that means we all have to go live above the radar. Yes it's a risk and vulnerability there but it's worth it. Sandra and I can do it. You can do it yes okay. What's the best piece of advice you've ever received so best piece of advice that I've ever received truly is was from my mother and she told me to make my bed every morning? You'll start your day organized and I still do it and recently got married a year ago and I had to teach my husband that it was a non-negotiable but it really does It's it's just such a great way way that you start your day whether it's make your bed or making sure that you're being intentional about what you want to accomplish. That day and living into that is so incredibly important is just can be making your bed can be meditation. Did you hear that is good. Okay so are you a big podcast person person or is it a podcast new to you. You know. There's a couple that are you. Listen to on a fairly regular basis. I so I do love podcasts. There's a lot of other places I I read a lot of books as well but I do love them. So what do you like the S.. With what's kind of your current favorite. Sure so that the one. That's been a mainstay for a long. Time is the daily from the New York Times Josh. I don't go ahead without it but another one that I think is really interesting. That people should at least give a look see Z.. Is called the next big idea. And it's the idea that first of all it's it's featuring thought leaders like Susan Susan Cain and Malcolm glad will and other others like that but it's the idea that oftentimes they're these very simple groundbreaking ideas that really have the ability to change the way that we live and work and think and so for example one of those that I just listened to is. Zachary Zachary Woods was interviewed and he has his book uncensored and his book is about the Dynamic Perspective of free speech and dissenting King Opinions. And what was fascinating about this. podcast was he was talking about the importance of really listening to alternative viewpoints and understanding ending. What's beneath those positions? I'm what's driving those particularly in this political discourse that we have going on And so what does it look like for him. He and his friends who had a different political perspective. They each switched their social media habits for a week. Oh man and then came back back and had a more meaningful conversation. Oh interesting because we do get just myopic again in that I love it I love it. So what about an APP. Do you have a Go-to the APP is just A. You couldn't take off your phone if you tried the New York Times Crossword puzzle talk so so you're smart so you said you you re read quite a bit. Is there something that you just a favorite book or you come back to all the time or something you reading right now. My favorite book is the one. Typically that I'm reading right now love I love it and to that. I'm reading right now. One on the business side. That's probably more relevant to this. Group is Liz Weisman's book multipliers. It's really the idea how of how the best leaders make everyone's smarter and really bring out the intelligence of the people around them rather than being dea killers or having to be the smartest person in the room multipliers really inspire people when they walk into a room they love it and it's really effective and has been very effective for glowing my team and loving your your take on bringing bringing in brain science and really allowing you know how do ideas even get started. How do we know what is the cognition the path the pathway that we take for new ideas India's? That's I can totally see that curiosity threat in your so. What about a blog? Are you a blog reader or not. Or I've read a few blogs. The one that on the professional side that I do as you read is next Gen market research. I'm it's really helping me to stay ahead of the disruptive change going on that we've been talking about and it gives gives me ideas to Ping my team to look into for our own innovation. Work is well but that's the one currently that I'm really early enjoying I love it. I love it and I gotTa say if you have not visited the MD our website. You're GONNA love it. It is just is very cool. Visuals and Sandra. It is obvious that you have taken the time to meaningfully. Put a marketing system around. You know the real the the way you want to work in the way you WANNA on a show up in the world so go check them out at. MD RG INC DOT COM MD Rg is market research firm that minds data for deeper meaning in their unlocking. The whole mind for deeper insights. And I think you're really gonNA like the website so go check it out and read a little bit about how they do. The thing they do. Sandra Sandra thank you so much for coming on the podcast thank you Priscilla. It has been my pleasure and delight awesome from all of the peeps here at Little Bird. Marketing have a great day

researcher CRC Brett Townsend C. Suite partner Rg Sondra Sandra Sandra Electrolux president Sandra Brown Little Bird US Mr Hyphen Sondra Welcome Tourism Financial Services Hea Pertz Green Books President and founder
Ep - 151 - JENNIFER AYDIN FROM REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY

Reality Life with Kate Casey

1:00:55 hr | 2 years ago

Ep - 151 - JENNIFER AYDIN FROM REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY

"This episode of reality life with Kate Casey is brought to you in part by milk. Keep listening to discover hell milk adds more to your day. Now, here's the show. Amazing cake JC. Welcome back to another episode of reality life with Kate. Casey hope that you guys are having a great week. Okay. I've got a show you need to add to your queue documentary now is on the IFC channel. It's hysterical. It is a comedy series that pays no mosh to the world's best known documentaries. So each episode adopts, a different style of nonfiction filmmaking to honor the most important stories that didn't actually happen. So last week's episode focused on a spoof a wild wild country where they had Owen Wilson playing the Raji she character, and I spit out my drink. And then this week's episode was a fly on the wall. Look the marathon cast album recording of the ill fated nineteen seventy Broadway musical comedy centered around cast of characters who work live or want to live in the same coop. John mullany. Richard kind and Taryn Killian from Saturday Night Live or so funny. You guys have to add that you're you another thing. I love to do is to think about shows that never happened. But would have been fantastic. One of those shows could have been a newlywed style show about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes while they were dating they were such an odd. Couple. I will never forget the way they used to wear matching outfits and go out running together, and he would make her hold her his hand while they ran. I'm not kidding you. If you Google Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, running you will find picture after picture of them in matching outfits running through New York City while holding hands because you know, that's normal thing to do you wanna go out with your spouse? You guys go for running you hold hands, my friend at the time helped co write the tell all on Tom Cruise. So she used to feed me information. And it was like it. Was it was like dessert every time. She called me. It was so great. So I think they should have had a show. They started dating in two thousand five so shortly after I got to Los Angeles. And there were so many sightings of Katie Holmes at this local Starbucks right near my office building this Escalade would just pull up drop her off. She would go in get her drink come back out and get back in the Escalade. I'm I'm sure that was probably the only time in her day. She was around non Scientology people because from what I understand they were dropping her off at the celebrity center, and she was doing all of these courses all day long. So I always harbored this hope that we would see each other on that Starbucks, and she would do some sort of like Morse code blinking thing. And I would know that that was my message to meet her in the alley, and then we will go in the alley and talk and become friends, and I would be the one to save her from Scientology, of course, never happen. So then I started thinking about all the interviews. Tom Cruise did at the time. And then how she? Would do interviews. But with a minder with her who would answer her questions. So last night, I found myself watching the old YouTube interview, and I suggest you do the same of Tom Cruise being interviewed by Oprah in his home in telluride. You have to watch it. First of all, they Oprah pulls up into this long driveway. She can't get over the view. And from what I understand. She ended up buying a property not far away like a two years later. So she drives up and Katie Holmes. Is there in a sweater set? And she says to Katie I didn't think that you'd be here. And she said, well, I didn't think so either, but I'm going to just take the kids into town. And you don't really know kids. She means like cousins his other kids at cetera because you see no one in the home, the homeless, totally barren, and you they walk into this mud room and each person has their own cubbyhole with a gold plaque underneath the cubbyhole with third name. So they. Got one on monogrammed with Oprah and she had a boots sitting there for her. I'm like really like is this what rich people do. Sushi and leaves and then they go walk around the house, and it seems to me like he has spent much time in this house. Like, he's giving her a tore and he's coming up with explanations for different rooms. But it seems like he's just kind of going on the fly. Like, this is our dining room. Oh, this is where everyone gets together for meals, and we can fit sixteen people in here. It just doesn't seem sincere. And he is so uncomfortable. You can tell it. He's managing every single word and Oprah seems uncomfortable to and I wonder if it's because she got so much flak afterwards for after his couch jumping up a sewed for not making him sit down and just answer questions appropriately. So they just both seem supremely uncomfortable. And then they leave the house, of course, after he shows her as bound scripts from all the movies that he's been in because they made some sort of arrangement that if he were to do the interview that she would do another interview with him in studio about. His twenty five years in the movies. Like that that must have been some sort of deal. Make they made. So they leave the house, and then he takes her, of course, on some sp-. Snow ride through his property because you know, he can't do normal interview without making you get on a trampoline or a motorcycle or jump out of a plane. And then they go to this spot where they roast marshmallows apparently. And he puts his arm around her and he kissed her head, and it's almost like a Clark Griswold moment. And he thanks for coming in east like kissing her head, which is weird like what normal person would do that. When you go to someone's house, and they're showing you the backyard, and they put their arm around you, and they kiss your head. It's just so weird. And then she turns to him. And she says you I really wish for you is some piece I hope that in your life. You find the piece that you find on this mountain of like what? So you gotta watch it you just so funny to go back and watch it and to remember how everyone was glued to their television. After not only her first interview with the couch jumping but the second one in Colorado. It's you can't you can't miss it. This week's episode is so good, Jennifer Aden. Made a big splash the season as one of the new cast members on the real housewives of New Jersey. I think this has been one of their best seasons. She gets into a bunch of fights, especially with Margaret. And so she explains a little bit more about her life before Bravo. And than what it was like to be on camera. So very interesting Sondra Selley people have been asking me for so long to get her on the show. She is the one who makes those Vida's alled over the top tresses for all the women on the gyp. She shows. So that's the gypsy sisters spin off of my big fat American gypsy wedding. I wanted to ask her about what it was like to be on television to do these over the top, weddings. And I found the information that she gave me about the gypsy community to be so fascinating. It's kind of like stuff. You don't really understand just by watching the show, and then Taryn Feldman is a celebrity makeup artist. So she does a lot of sub celebrities especially in Nashville where she lives, so Reese Weatherspoon a lot of music artists. Some reality stars. I wanted to ask her what she thought about real housewives of Beverly Hills. Who's one of the things that I really would like to got to the bottom of is how long it probably takes these women to get ready for scenes like how much makeup is an an hair hair time with the stylus goes into just appearing on camera. So here we go. Reality life with Casey is brought to you in part by ally. You wouldn't settle for it to start dentists or even a two star restaurant for that matter. So why would you settle for a two star Bank? We're all too familiar with low rates and subpar service when you're treated just like another number and for what you've worked hard for your money beat picky about where you put it. There is a better option out there. And that's why ally knows you deserve better. And their mission is to be just that with ally Bank. You'll get interest rates up to twenty times the national average and live customer care. You can shut with a real person twenty four seven even on weekends and holidays. They won't surprise you with hidden fees or confuse you with fancy jargon allies team, actually cares about doing right by you and your money. Get yourself a better Bank. Go to ally dot com to find out more. That's A L L Y dot com ally. Do it right ally. Bank member FDIC. I actually like to watch a lot of reality shows with my kids, my older kids like the show survivor, and my little kids love any show that has to do with dancing. So wanted to ask my five year old daughter Hayes, my middle child whom I lovingly referred to as gives thirty percent. What she thought about some of the reality shows that we watch together Hayes, we watch a lot of reality television shows for kids. Let me ask you about some of them that we've already watched what do you think of nailed it the show where they show you some sort of cake, and then the people have to recreate it do like that one. What do you like about that one? And that. That they met they may get like Vesey, all the messy one. What about dancing with the stars to like the way they dance or do you like their costumes? I think I love their cost. Yeah. What do you think of American ninja warrior? Would you ever be on that show? Yes. If you were on the show would you wear a weird costume? Do you think that it's not smart for them to turn during the competition and wave to their family and friends and to do crazy dances? What do you think of world's best the show where they at the magicians and the singers, and they have all the judges in the background. Do you like that show? Who do you think makes for a better competition star? Do you think it's better to be a magician, a dancer or a singer? I sing you. And if you were to be a singer competing on one of these shows, what do you think is a great song to sing? So fan gate, Sophia grace, and Rosie okay one last question, do you. Remember the time when we went to the dance recital 'cause you're taking singing lessons with Misawa gel. And you remember all the other kids were playing piano, and then you and Mia sang and how Mia sang geniune a bottle by Christina Aguilera. Do you? Remember that? Yes. What song? Did you sing on? Do you think that the Chinese piano players enjoyed listening to you sing, Christina Aguilera? And moana. Yes. Good answer. Okay. Thank you. Jennifer Aiden is the new real housewife of New Jersey this season. I wanted to ask you a little bit about your life before TV. So tell me where you grew up in a little bit more about your life before. Bravo cameras. Sure. Well, I was born in queens. And then we moved to Long Island when I was about three years old, and I grew up in plain view, I went to high school. I went to Hofstra university. I graduated with a BB and marketing from the Frank Zarb school of business, and then I tried working in the city for a marketing company, but you know, all throughout my life. I always grew up working at my father's jewelry store, which was in a jewelry exchange on Long Island. And I was always the boss's daughter. So when I finally got out there and got a real job and had to have a real boss real responsibilities. It was it wasn't worth the amount of money. They were paying me at the time because you know, like how it is when your entry level. So my dad told me I'll open up a jewelry store for you, which I did. So I think I was twenty two when I opened my jewelry store. And it was a very slow jewelry exchange, we weren't really making that much money. And then when I met my husband, we decided it was just more practical to just close the jewelry store and just need get married and through the whole, you know, housewife thing. So how old were you? When you have your husband. I met him the Sunday before Labor Day, and I married him the Sunday before Labor Day one year later exactly when to the day. So how did you guys meet? So my mom was trying to set me up with guys from my culture. So I'm Syrian Orthodox from Turkey and Cyrano orthodox is a Christian based based kind of like Greek Orthodox and my parents were off the boat from Turkey. So they wanted me to marry somebody from our community, and you know, I grew up here, and I went to college, and I had girlfriends, and I was not intuitive much when I was younger. It was like oh my God. I'm not going to do that. I'm still American. I'm to do the whole American thing. And then watching my girlfriends just being treated terribly and going through breakup and guys cheating on them all the time. I just thought. Wow. You know, what I don't know if I want that like, I don't know if I want that I want someone to treat me with respect. I want chivalry. I want someone to open the door for me. And you know, you know, sometimes I would go out on a date with someone and they'd be like, oh, you know, I'll. For the meal, and you'll get the tip would just be like I felt like that was such a big turnoff on a first date. Like, I was like, dude. Like, you gotta come in. I want you to suit me off my feet. I wanna feel like Princess, and I wasn't really seeing that too much. I was just seeing like guys cheat. My friends like shit calling them bad names, cursing at them. And you listen maybe wearing the wrong crew. But I decided I didn't want that. So I told my mom that I would be open to being introduced to someone. And and once I started once I was I the minute. I turned sixteen I was getting shooters. I was getting people enquiring about meeting, my mom, like, oh, how would you daughter is she ready to get married? And obviously there was no way. I was getting married at sixteen and then eighteen and then twenty and then twenty the students were coming around. And I was still saying, no. And my mom would always tell me like if you keep saying no to everybody who comes to your door. They're going to think that. That you know, you're you're a snob. And you think you're better than everybody else? And I just kept telling my mom, I'm not attracted to any of these guys that are coming my way the end of the day, I wanna be attracted to someone. This is the rest of your life. You know, I wanna have a connection with somebody. So. Finally, when I was twenty four I agree to go out on a date with this one guy, and I went under chaperone date. My brother team with me. His name's John, Barry, very nice guy. But when I went on date, I was not attracted to him at all. And he was invited to my brother-in-law's leading which happened to be in California. And my brother-in-law is also in the joy business. A lot of people from my church on the joy business. It's like it's like my cousin Vinny likes, my dad's a jeweler, my three uncles on my dad's size jeweler, my uncles on my mother's side. They're jewelers my dad's Virgil is like everyone's jeweler. So we were retail, and my brother-in-law was diamond wholesale. And we were invited to the guy that I went out on the date with pop into also be invited to this wedding. He happened to be from California. So I went out with the guy with my brother team home mother was like, so what did you think of Mike, absolutely? I'm not I'm not attracted to him. He's very nice. But there's just no way. And my mom was like hiding like you dad when I first met him of them like that's not gonna happen. With me. You know, I just I need to be able to be you know, have arm candy. I need to be attracted to the guy. So we went to this wedding. Where my mom was hoping that I would warm up for the guy who originally wanted me. And then I what my husband who was the best man at the wedding. And I saw my husband come down the aisle. Like, I mean, he was he had like a halo around him or something like walked down the aisle, and he got into his position as best man. And I was just staring at him. Like, oh my God. That's the hottest guy. I've ever seen. My brother nudges me. And he was like did you ever meet James's older brother Bill, and I was like, no, no, I don't I don't think. So so PS we go to the wedding everything. Everyone's the guy the guy who likes me he's white on rice. He's follow. Me everywhere hiding in the bathroom like tell me when he leaves. And then when my sister tells me she's like build right outside. I'm gonna go. Hey now, come out, and I tried to be all charming and cool and funny, and we had a little chitchat banter and the next day Bill called my brother like as respect right? 'cause like saying thank you for coming all the way from New York. Do you wanna go out to dinner and bring your sister? And my brother was like, oh that guy. Bill, quote me wants to know if we want to go meet him in his cousins at the cheesecake factory. And I was like, hey, I'll go him. Absolutely. Absolutely. I'll go. So when I went to the cheesecake factory with my brother, we were lost. We lost on the way there. My brother was like can you call him on my phone and see you know, where he is. And I I looked I said, Mike only number. I have for Bill is nine one seven. And he said, yeah, that's him nine one seven. I'm like, Mike. Why does he have a nine one seven number? If he lives in LA, Jen. He doesn't live in LA. He lives in Manhattan, keep dollars. And he was like, yeah, he's a resident at Saint Vincent's. And I'm like, oh my God. Oh my God. Like, I was like it was like the fat lady had sung. And I'm like, this is it this is the man for me. It's like our courtship are getting to know each other was like basically our engagement period, but we were so attracted to each other. And the beginning that like I didn't care about anything. It was like I wanna marry you now. So that I can just, you know, have sex with you. So. Do you guys have to wait in your culture? Do you have to wait to have sex until you're married? Yeah. Really, you gotta you gotta try gotta try to hold out you. Yeah. You gotta make sure they put a ring on it. I mean. Who's not did other things? I, but that's why that's why we like like to close the deal fact, like we like literally, you know, we started dating we met Sunday before Labor Day, but we didn't really start going out dating until October like that whole September beginning of period, we were just on the phone. We were like, you know, and we were having those long phone conversations that you have when it's new you know, like when you call them and phone for hours by the time you have sex. Do you have to wait for your wedding night to have sex or after you're fully committed in the wedding planning processes going? Are you is it? Okay. I mean, I don't know what people do. Now this sixteen years ago. I mean from what I hear now the girls around the way or or not waiting, but if they're not waiting. They're definitely not putting that on blast like they play the role. I mean for me him, and I read it when we got related. Wow. So when you so now, you have five kids, and you've been okay? So you've been there six. Eighteen years. You're kids are between Hm thirteen and five. So are they all being raised in the same church that you were raised in? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, listen, I want my kids to be happy first and foremost, but I just seen like in my husband, and I have been married for sixteen years. I love him. I fell in love with him like crazy. But you know, all marriages I've learned now has ups and downs. You can be married to prince charming. I guarantee there's one day where you're not going to be able to band your spouse, and it's really hard to make a badge work these days. And I feel like having a common denominator is just makes things a lot easier like our families. We're extremely happy. Like, even now in my culture divorce is becoming if it it's very not. It's like not done. But now, it's we're starting to see a little bit of divorce. And when we do see the divorce the families, they get involved like the parents can we do to make this work. You know, whereas my cousin he married a girl that was not from our community and within a year she wanted to divorce him. And my aunt tried to get involved, and and she tried to contact the girl's parents and say like what can we do like make these kids try to make it work? And the woman was just so noncompliance he was like well by not happy, then she shouldn't be in this marriage. It's like Hello. What do you mean? They just they were love like a year ago thing don't change that fast. You know? So we just don't give up as easily what at the Syrian Orthodox community. Think about you joining the show where they excited about the opportunity to talk about your culture where they little bit reticent like what was their feedback? I think some of them is like just it was shocked because I come from a culture where we like hide everything hide everything. Meaning like, you don't want people to know what you really wealthy or you really not. Yeah. Like, everyone in my culture. It's like keeping up with the Joan is like, everyone drives a Mercedes. Everyone's got a nice rock the rock really comes because they're all the joy business. Right. But at the end of the day, they don't have a pot to piss, but they don't want people to know that they don't want you to know that they don't have specific. Oh, no. You know, like, I have it. I have so much and my kids have so much because you also want to create a good family name. Right. And if you have kids that are bachelors or bachelorettes that are of age of getting married you want their stock to rise. Right. Like, we have it. We have all this stuff. And sometimes you know, based on the side. And sometimes it's not you really never know. But they're just so, you know, they just don't like to tell even like they wear dress. Right. And I can say like, oh my God. That's just as gorgeous. Where'd you get it? Oh this. I got it like downtown like down the block somewhere. If you go and you'll see me, I'll tell. People like I went to Giovanni. I went to downtown LA. I went to fucking TJ, man. I like the I tell everybody the truth. I always been like that. But that's that has a lot to do with because I'm Americanized because it's what Americans Dewey, I I think it's too hard to keep up with the lie the lie hearts, remember. And because my coacher does have this like little light secretive thing like nobody ever wants to give anybody away anything like, oh, how much did you spend a head at that wedding. Like, oh, I don't know. I don't even remember it was like in the contract that I threw away me. I'll tell you one hundred and fifty six dollars ahead. How much do you think that your culture facts are factored into sometimes miscommunication or butting heads with other people on the show? I mean, I think it's I because I live in two different worlds. I get to pick and choose my battles. There are some things in the Syrian Orthodox community that I'm very proud of that. I think that I that. I hold true to me like staying in a marriage. No matter what like that's from my culture. And then there are some things that the American culture that I grew up that that I like, which is living your true self. No matter what that could be, you know, whether it's you know, someone being gay or someone, you know cheating like, I don't feel like that. I feel like as an American it's very important for you to be forthright in who you are as a person. So I'm I'm conflicted a lot of time. But because I have the opportunity to be in both worlds and diff'rent both worlds, I pick and choose what I like from each culture. So that's you know, I mean, I don't I don't think it's right. I feel like if you. Want to have a divorce and you're not happy in your marriage. You should do whatever it's necessary to finish it. And then start a new relationship. You know? I just I don't feel that, you know, carrying on an affair like listen, I heard of people having an affair sometimes when it's a one and done. It's one thing when it's a relationship. It's something else having a relationship with somebody else while you're married for some odd of time is you know, from me, it's a shameless thing. I feel like that's embarrassing. You shouldn't be vocal about something like that. What about the the moments than like with Polly's ranch? And then talking about the the sunset and promise and your house and the way it was decorated and all the bathrooms. I wasn't trying to boast about my house. I had just moved into my house six months before and the house I came from before listen was beautiful home. But it was nowhere near the the like. Guide Nissen's of this house because and that's just in my opinion. Like, I pinch myself every time I pull up to this house. I'm like holy shit. This is mine. This was very new to me. I started filming. And I moved in six months before not to mention these women's husbands are all contractors. They asked me about my house. I wanna do people a solid, and I think like, oh, let me tell them about my house because I know they're curious, and I feel like if I don't share it. But I'm going to be coming across as a snob. Right because Turkish people don't share it. Turkish people don't wanna tell you. They wanna tell you what they have. But me, I'm like, oh my God. But share what I'm having. And the thing with the sunset is the sunset. I had. I did never said mine was better. I never said mine was better. I said this. We minds me. This is just as magnificently, and I'm not I didn't embellish at the time. With my words, I'm saying from my perspective, would I? Saying was they were all enjoying this pretty sunset. I was new to this group. I wanted them to like me I wanted to bond. I wanted to say, hey, you guys have a sunset on my God. This I have one too. I have one that was like blood red. I would love since since you guys are enjoying this so much. Maybe you'll enjoy something that I could just, you know, have something to talk to you about like make conversation about it was never about same line with better. I wasn't trying to say who's dick with bigger. I was trying to say you like big Dicks. I got one too. I thought I was sharing a moment you girls. And now you girls taking it in it against me. And again with my house, I was telling them like, oh, like what's new in your life, right Kupa girls, which new in your life? I like just moved into my new house. We took three years to build. Oh, really tell me about it. You watch the show, of course, before you are cost. So tell me a little bit about how they found you and the. Decision that you came with your husband to do the show because obviously there are a lot of factors that go into it. Like your kids to be okay with it. Your husband to be okay with it. He can film in his office. So tell me about that process. Well, obvious divorce was a surgical tech. And one of the surgery centers that my husband we've doing surgery at so he knew her, and then we were at a mutual friend's birthday party about two years ago. And my neutral friend was about to introduce me doors when divorce and my husband made eye contact, and she was like, oh my God, Dr eating they hugged it out. And I was like they've I'm like she's on house lies like you. Don't see her on my screen, and he's like, I don't pay attention to what you watch, you know. So, and I guess she told him about me, and they contacted me, and we had a little they do like test filming than they they offered me the gig. I went to my husband about it. He wasn't a fan. He was not interested in the. The ideal only because he five really is adamant about me staying home with the kids while they're still so young because you know, it's so important when they're young to have their mother, or at least a mother figure around and one thing about my kids like I'm very present in their lives. So he was a little reluctant. But like I said, my husband, I I pick and choose my battles with him. There's some things that he's very adamant about that. I give in and there are some things that I'm very adamant about which he gives in and at the end of the day. He's my biggest cheerleader. He always wants to do things to make me happy. Like, he can really never say. No to me on something that I really want for you. What is this been experienced been like watching yourself back on TV? Absolutely. I no longer talk about my house that much. I try to avoid questions about it. Like the plague. We hard because the first thing like when people drop off their tips for play dates or come by to pick up something. They're just so amazed. I'm reluctant to talk about it as much as I once was buying the kids stuff on Amazon or thing. Yes. To them. What people don't seem to understand is that you have little kids. You know, how it is? They take on YouTube a C video of a totally want. Mommy, I want this. It's much easier for me to say yes sweetheart screen shot. That's so mommy knows about it. And they screen shot it and five seconds later. They have a new toy that's on their mind. I only by ten percent of what I say yesterday. So yes, I say, yes. To a hundred percent and people have the impression that I say, yes to absolutely everything in that. I actually follow through on everything. I don't speed round what number one to Keila do. Or is this like? Next season. Are you ever gonna have to kill it again, or you're just going to dial? It back a little. No, you know, the thing with the tequila is I don't actually drink any alcohol like, you know, how some people go to dinner and they drink wine. That was never me. Number wind makes me sleepy. The and vodka gives me like really bad headache the next day. The only drink that I found it kind of like gets to the point. Right. I don't want the calories because I'm always fluctuating with my weight. Right. I like, I I like to have a piece of cake on like Theresa. I liked the cake. Yeah. So in order to avoid the calories. I always think to kill a gets me always the job done quickly. Are there makeup companies that have reached out to you and said we would like to make a lip liner lipstick line in Oman to your lips? No, no, nobody nobody yet. If you have any poll with that. I would love that. It might happen might be in the car. Having meeting d seen with Theresa's necklace any regrets at all. No, no because and I will love to actually clear that up right now. So Margaret had called me wasn't a text message. And she called me she was like, we're gonna get Theresa guess world chipping in we're just gonna get her like probably a pretty necklace of some sort. And I said, okay, she didn't tell me how much it was. She didn't tell me until like that day. She was like, oh, by the way, it's going to be three hundred dollars. And I thought that was kind of expensive 'cause I didn't anticipate. But the necklace is going to be real. How'd she told me like with we're going to a jeweler, and we're customer this piece? I would have said, you know, what then Margaret if you don't mind with all due respect. I rather not chip-in. Maybe I'll do my own thing. 'cause I don't I don't wanna go to another jeweler when I can give my brother the business. And and and that's not say that she had to go to my brother. I personally did not want to participate in chipping in five hundred dollars for a necklace that. I can go to my brother, and he could probably give it to me have cost not to mention I can give him the business. You know, how great would it be? If I can give Teresa a necklace for my brothers jewelry store, if that's the route that they wanted to go I and she keeps telling that, it's my brother's really sore. Like, I said before I grew up in this jewelry store. This was my father's business all of my siblings. We since we were little we would go to that store. And and we were the legs, and and and basically the backbone of that jewelry store, and when my father became disabled, and I got married and Tino into law school and Steven went to these school, Michael inherited that business. So I treat it like it's my own. I take it personal. I'm not going to go to another jeweler when I have to put up the money. I don't care that you went to another jeweler just don't ask me to ante up. Do your own thing that an I'll do my own thing. And that's. What was mad about? And I didn't give her the money. I was like I'm not giving the money. I'd rather do my own thing. If that's the case, I do not regret that I was caught off guard and also well she had to do with validate, my feelings and say, listen, I totally like slipped. My mind that your brother was a jeweler like next time. We'll totally go to him, and it would have been squashed. But she had a very condescending attitude. Okay. And and that pissed me off because that makes it seen that what I say what I feel is not valid. She you and any human being can tell you the minute. Somebody else tries to make them feel but they're not relevant. That's a trigger. So she pissed me off with her condescending attitude and not to mention she's asking me to chip in. So I do not regret that at all. I even had said to Melissa Melissa. How would you feel if we went to another boutique like posh, we went to posh boutique, and then I called you up and said Melissa Gimmie three hundred dollars. Plus the by the sweater for Teresa from posh. You would be like what the hell you do you like, you know, what I have my own sweater to give her you guys. You're sweating. I'll give her mind tell everybody where they can find you on social media or anything else that they wanna find more information about you. Yes. So they can find me multiple places all over the place like dirty, stay out. I'm on Facebook. Under Jennifer eight in A, Y D. I N I'm under Instagram under Jennifer Eden and Twitter. Jennifer Aden, again, A Y, I N or you can find you through my husband's practice, which is eight in plastic surgery. No space on Instagram. And that's also spelled with a y A Y D. I N. If you're busy like me. You know, the first step in any beauty routine is just to find the time for most of us. Eight twenty step full face of makeup every day. 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Get twenty percents off your purchase at wander beauty dot com slash reality. That's wander beauty dot com slash reality. For twenty percent off wonder beauty dot com slash reality. Sondra Selley is known for her over the top wedding dresses, which have been showcased on my big fat gypsy wedding. And are you're in the earlier spinoff series gypsy sisters, if you see her wedding dress. You would absolutely no her design. Sandra? Welcome to the show. Hey, thank you for having me. I am. So interested ask you this. So your wedding dresses are so well known because of this show. I wanted to know how you got connected with the gypsy community or more. Specifically this the producers of the show because it's your dresses are now synonymous with the gypsy. Weddings, two completely different things when I was about twenty something years old, and I started out of the young designer I worked for a lot of really big department stores and the gypsies at the time, you know, I'm almost sixty one, but you know, forty years ago when people didn't have cell phones, they went to to. While one of the stores, and they put my number out of a Rolodex because I used to run ads in vogue, and Hoppy bizarre. The stores would run them. I was a kid. I didn't have any money and they used to run these ads. So the gypsies like anything status, so they stole my number. And they started calling me to make a long story short. There was so many of them on the same street though. I was shipping. I thought they can't be this many stores on the same street like Bridget's moti and Suzy's Bo teak, and I was a kid. I was green. So I call them into our mine who lived in the same state they were ordering from. And she said Honey who ship and gypsies, and I said what's a gypsy? And she says they're lying to you and telling you, they're stores, they're trying to get you wholesale. And I got scared. I didn't know anything about this business, and I called them. And I said you can't do that you have to pay retail or whatever. And before you know, it I mean now I have over forty four hundred of them in my phone, and this thousands of them over the country that know me as far as the show goes the show had heard through the gypsies that I was the top gypsy designer never let most of my customers know that I used to just keep it in the back room. The show called me when one day, you know, years later and actually asked me if I would do the show, and I said, how did you get my phone number? And they said we Facebook the gypsies and one of them gave us your phone number. And that's it the rest of history, I'm doing this show. Now what six seasons? So you're designs. A really unique. I can't imagine how much work goes into this. How tell me about the construction of address and what it requires? Well, we usually when we're doing this show it's hard because they have regular customers to. So we can't say to our customers. Gee, sorry when Ryan's doing for gypsy show. You know, can't get yourself out to and it's hard because the stones all put on one by one. They're different size stones at different patterns. So and the show gives us no time, which is true of gypsies. Anyway, we have a lot of gypsy customers usually gypsies are in a rush because they live dog all the day to day. So if they make a big chunk of money, they have a big chunk of wedding on the weekends. You know, kind of thing. So. It's always big flam rush. So we'll put fourteen and fifteen girls on it. Someone will take half the Baud somebody'll sitting next to the other half of the body. Someone will do the shoes I'm going to do K two people doing the scarred. Someone's making the parental end. It's like a circus in here. But somehow in seventy two hours, we can turn a drop. It's happening forty eight without any sleep, of course. And we're all getting older, but no just used to it. And it's just you know, I am sixty years old. I'm tired. You know, what I mean when I was twenty sleep on the cutting table and keep going, but when you're sixty you I wanna go to bed. I don't even watch my own show do tired. But yeah, it's a lot. Every stone has been on one by one. Sometimes he's dresses have fifteen thousand stolen, sometimes sixty thousand stones. It depends. What the show is paying for the dress. How big the story is etc. Etc. So it seems like sometimes you have to do. We're most of the time. You have to do the the dress in two pieces is that because of the weight of it? Yeah. Mostly because of the weight and also don't forget shipping, and I can't fit it into a box. If it's not in parts. So the first dress we haven't built for the show, we built it in the same room. And then we realized we couldn't get it out the door. It was like building a boat in your house and going. Oh, no, I built it in the garage. And now, I can't get it out of here. So we decide. Sided then on we would make it imparts. Also, a and b the producers of measuring a lot of these girls, and they really don't know what they're doing. And so I tried to make a course that up the back, which is what most of them want anyway, and it's just easier to shop and fit you know, when you're shipping long distance. That's all no. I watched one episode that I will never forget it believe it was the season four premiere. And so her dress was one hundred ten pounds and at twelve hundred feet of fabric fifty thousand crystals. You said that it took nineteen people to make over three weeks. And she wha what's most memorable as she was brought to the wedding on a flatbed semi truck with a police motor transport, the dress. I I mean was that the most memorable wedding that you did? Actually, the flower address was a pretty big deal too. I mean, we won't meet out of fresh flowers with hasn't crazy stuff that trust. Actually, we had time because the show was supposed to happen within a week. And then, you know, production problems or whatever they were doing another show at the same time. So they got to move out to gave us three weeks which really help because we do regular work at the same time. We don't just do this. So that had oh God three or four hundred yards of fabric. So it was in saying, I think I bought like a hundred and fifty and the girls were halfway through the train, then we ran out of fabric, and I bought more. And yeah, it was just crazy. Dress shoes a love she was a sweet girl, and we just built jewelry on the arms. It was a lot of it was girls designed jewelry. It was girls that make petty codes. It was girls do train were you know, we had all different talents in here. Poland together for that one dress. It was a big deal a really big deal to get that out of here. How do you mean teen your composure in some of these situations because given? The time the time limits with the added stress of a bridezilla, how do you manage your emotions coffee, honest it on I live on coffee. No seriously. We get up in the morning. We haven't been too bad. We've worked like crazy to show. You know, the film produces or coming in in the morning. The bribes gonna show up any minute for, you know, reveal and I just grab a coffee put on a battery pack and go I don't know I've been doing it so many years. Nothing impresses me. It's really hard to blow my mind, though, it does happen because we do have some crazy dress than here. But after you do it for so many years, you know, one blend into one which blends into one idea, you know, like once Gert will trigger another idea, and that's that will trigger another idea, and it just naturally comes. So I'm not as hyper in, you know, when I was young and get all excited about the stress, but it's just that dress this week. Okay. Do the next one actually next, you know, and I just keep going. And it's just years of experience. My head's a library of ideas. And I maintain my composure because I'm so I guess I'm just so used to it. You know, I mean people start to work here. And there so impressed and so excited and then within six months all their phones, Orion stone, the glasses rhinestone his shoes rhinestone, and they're they're used to it. It's just okay. It's over, you know, but we see so much of it. And I love what I do. I love the outcomes and creativity. You know, it's it's great. I mean to have the freedom that I have and I have because I have a good reputation, and they know that I'll make what they want. So if you give me a few ideas, I can run with it. And do what you want making happy and make me happy at the same time. How much would it do these dresses typically cost like the average gypsy dress for the average gypsy dress can be anywhere from low which is five or six thousand dollars thousands. I mean, honestly, it could be twenty thirty thousand dollars. Pending on what it's the people on the show, generally lived all the dollar day today. And when they get a chunk of money, they buy address I mean, they they do big job that week. That's the week. They get married. That's how it is. My I was traveling which I saw a lot of never on the show foam big painting companies, and whatever, and they do the same thing when they have a big job, they have the wedding, and they buy, you know, dresses, we sell so many types of clans, and so many MRIs, and whatever that are gypsy cultures that I know what they want, and I somehow find a way to work in their budget. If there is one and their budget is they usually have a budget. I mean, they'll say sandy, I can't spend more than eight thousand this week. I can't spend more than five watching you do or, you know, and I try to accommodate by putting a tool skirt on it or something that cuts the price, you know. So but the crystals the money, that's where the money is. What is the most surprising thing that you've? Learned through this experience about the gypsy community all that they adore their kids. I mean, the ones on the show on Isley, even though some of them are yelling and screaming. But it's basically to protect the kids. I mean, these people most of them, and I can't you can't say that about anybody any class or any anything most of them live for their kids. They don't want anyone to hurt their kids. They wanna take care of their kids. They wanna make sure their kids are happy. So and I think a lot of its force weddings, because they feel like if they marry them off their first cousin or something they're going to be protected and being the same community excetera. So but the Irish travellers totally with sleep for their kids. I mean, these people will walk around in from all maybe as long as it's can have a Chanel bag. I mean, they've just living sleep those children who I guess my last question would be what was your wedding dress? Like, I was married a long time ago. I'm divorced now. But they are cute dress. Actually, it was books. Shields. Twenty first birthday. I think she's a little younger than me. I was twenty five. So I saw the stress in w and the designer was for breeze, and it was cute little mini dress of beating and I got married tavern on the green, and I work cute. Little white mini dress with this outrageous Vail, and it was different back. Then I mean, I'm talking thousand nine hundred eighty three so it was a long time ago when people back then like how she's wearing a mini. But it was it was different. I loved it. Tell everybody about your new book coming out and where they can find you. Yeah. My new book is already on him is on for preorder. It's called bling the uncommon. Crystal control world of Sandra Celli, it tells about a small business and how it's built and it's it shows. It's got three hundred and something pictures in it of the work. We do the construction it's got instructions on how to bling and he's got a big portfolio in the back of the most gorgeous things we've pretty much ever done, including jacket. That's about twenty thousand dollars for me. And it's. Just outrageous. But yeah that that books on him zone already. It's called bling. The uncommon crystal Tour World asunder Shelley, and we also have a blink kit out by beacon adhesive and you can go to beacon at he's dot com forward slash blanket and get that and our website is Sandra Celli dot com. And if you Email us, we can pretty much answer your questions about the price on anything, your little heart, desires, we can make anything. Green. Chef is a USDA certified organic company that makes eating well, easy and affordable with plans to fit every kind of lifestyle. And that's really hard to find a company like that. If you eat like Mediterranean, gluten free paleo green chef lets you choose from her wide array of easy to follow lifestyles with select organic ingredients. The recipes are quick and easy with step by step instructions chef tips and photos to guide you along. I do it. And it's really really easy to follow along with green chefs wide variety of high quality cleaning, greedy. It's you can feel really good about what you're eating and how it got your table. They've got a diverse array of meal plans with plenty of options to choose from every week. See you could actually enjoy sticking to your goals this year. So some of the recipes that I've been making this week, our chicken, fajita salad and herb roasted pork chops. I order off the paleo meal plan, and I've loved every single meal that I've ever made. So for fifty dollars off your first box. Of green shop Gutu green, chef dot US slash reality. So that's for fifty dollars off your first box of green. Shop Gutu green chef dot US slash reality. Taryn Feldman is a Nashville based celebrity makeup and hairstylists you've seen her do a ton of celebrities. And I thought of no one better who could talk to me about the new season of real housewives of Beverly Hills. How long have you been watching the show? Ooh. Since two beginning of time. Kyle Vander pump have had a horrible fallout. We begin to seize season with Kyle leaving Lisa's house. Two months earlier. They were the kind of friends who enjoy the casual jaunt to the face factory to get injections or laser treatments. What do you think happened? I don't know. I'm being. I have no idea. I mean, you know, females are so sensitive and sometimes shit happens and gets miscommunicated. I have no idea. Tweeden PK adopted a dog from Lisa Vander pumps dog rescue. And then gave it away to someone else. Who eventually brought the dog back to Vanderbilt dogs number one was story wrong. Yeah. Oh my God. I can't even get started on this. I am like to say I'm an animal lover is like an understatement. And. I just really respect Lisa for using her celebrity to help animals. So I think that's so great. But I mean, really like why wouldn't you just take it back to the show to Lisa that seemed so like easy like that's what I feel like everyone else would have done. Oh, I don't know. I thought that was so stupid. Why can't you just say like, look, my my kids are just like a little of freight because the dog Friday, and like, you know, my gut is to rehome this dog. Like, what do you think? What do you feel like I'm a conversation? What happened to have her and having a conversation with people? You know, what I mean, especially when you don't even know what you're doing or, you know, nothing about this industry. Yeah. You know what? I mean. Yeah. I would have no idea what to believe trying to like make baby she's not going to because she doesn't know anything about it. I know what I mean just to read know how to make a bathing suit. Yes, your whole baby do on. I know. But does she though, you know, what I mean like students somebody else design it? I mean, did she really bright the sketches? Does. She really was. So oh, yeah. I mean move AME. She. Yeah. Well, she can pay people to do it for our. Well, that's that's debatable too. Why does the Vander poems dog manager always wear ill, fitted t shirts guy? He loves his body. He just wants everyone to take him him and his body Syria. And he loves his buddy. Okay. Was he purposely trying to plant the story? He was making circles while production was filming. So was he gunning to get this story on the air? I mean, I feel like because he works closely with everybody he probably feels like he can cross that boundary. You are a celebrity stylist. How high maintenance do you think Dori is client? I really have no idea. It's funny because. We all all of the celebrity, you know, it's like a small community of well, not small, but it's a community of people. We kind of all here things. And I've heard nothing, but lovely things about her. How much time do you think they take in the makeup and hair chair before they film the scene? Oh my God. Probably to our really. Wow. Unless they have like one makeup and one here air person, which I know like Erica does I'm sure to reach us to probably like an hour and a half two hours. It's just a lot. It's so much. I couldn't imagine like just. Something to wear all that shit. All the time. Denise Richards, has three kids one of them was not Charlie's lovechild with a Hooker. She explained I think that she's pretty bad ass that that was like her opening scene like Jesse. No, Charlie did not have this baby with Hooker. This was a pure adoption. I say kudos to her. Because most of these housewives would have waited at least three seasons to acknowledge that. Yeah. It seems like she's like come at me, bro. Like, what do you want to know? Yep. Like, whatever did like, you don't think that like had the most shit thrown at me. Because of who I've married like to whatever can you rank for me who would be the most high maintenance in the hair and makeup chair. I feel like. And the only reason why I'm saying this is because she has so much hair. And so much. Just like we've wig clipping, you know, permanent engines, whatever I feel like Erica would be the most time maintenance. And I when I say high maintenance, I just mean like the most work lease. I feel like does her own for the most part, really? Yeah. Actually, she always says her own like, maybe have somebody come out, and like styles her hair. But I feel like she's always doing her own. You didn't notice that? I feel like Rossio the hairdryer the the made the one the woman who's always like taking up a dog shit. And they I feel like she's doing her hair. What do you think this whole like lying thing is? That's like big day. Okay. So this is what I'm gonna say happen. I'm gonna say that Lisa and the gentleman John with the tight t shirts at inner pump roles. Become quite audited that the Dory dog return story does not get as much as attention as they had hoped in the first three three episodes. She's gonna keep dropping hints trying to get people all riled up. And she's dissatisfied with the lack of story attention. So she's going to go to the tabloids to plant a story. To make it look bad. And in the process of it gets busted by one or two of the housewives, and they go to confront Lisa and she does not enjoy that. I don't think she somebody let likes to be confronted on stuff. And I think that that creates an explosion. And that Lisa's like, I don't need this show because I already film Vana pump rules, I'm opening someplace in Las Vegas, and I'm out. So tell everybody where they can find you while I am on the inside of ram, and it's just Karen Feldman. G A R Y N Feldman F E L G M A N. I keep it. Simple. None of that like makeup girl artistry face, kissed, LA LA Bubba. Can't keep a real keep it simple. Amazing Kate Cassie I want to thank my Greek guests this week, Jennifer Aiden, Sandra. Sully in Teheran Volkmann remember to go to items and subscribe to the show if you do. So the new episode will just pop up on your phone. It'll be so easy to just click, and listen and also if you've loved to show, you can't stop thinking about it. You can just go to the I tunes spot for my show and click share, and you can send your friend the episode. Like, can you believe what this person said I can't get over? It you send it to them. And they can just listen to the episode. You also have to be in the Facebook group it blowing up. It's it's so fantastic. We're talking about reality shows all week long. So go to the Facebook page or Facebook and just put in the search button reality life with Casey and jump in and join our conversations you can find me on Twitter and at Kate, Casey. I tweet. During shows and about shows all week long. My Instagram is at Cape, Casey C A, and then you can find my website, love and knuckles dot com. For example, this week. I wrote an article about eleven things that I think they should do to update the bachelor, for example. I think that when they come to the finals the last two women are standing there. They give them file folders of the bachelors financial and voter files for the last like four years. So you know, who they voted for and all their financial information. And then they say to those two women, you can stay and wait to see if he proposes to you or you can take this cash payout. And they have the option to leave if they really want. And in most cases, I'm assuming they would because what they really want is just to win and to get a cover of us weekly, and it's guaranteed. If you take the money instead of getting engage some dope. I also think that if they're going to do. Home dates hometown dates that they should showcase the person's hometown. In more exciting way. And one of those ways could be like a torch marathon run through the town where all the people gather around to watch them run through the streets carrying a torch. I just think that that would make more sense. And then they can go back to the house and have conversations instead of having these people sit at a long table way late into the night pretending to eat food and having these meaningless conversations. So a couple of my suggestions if you go to love and knuckles dot com. These days getting to the things that really matter in life can be tough especially with all the distractions and pressures out there. But at the end of the day, the things that matter the things that we really cherish or the simple ones in dairy milk is oftentimes a part of those moments milk is simple nutritious and fresh from the farm milk is a part of moments that shouldn't be taken for granted a lot with the friend share it a favorite recipe from around the dinner table with friends or family or a comforting glass with milk and cookies after school just this week my kids, and I were making lemon bundt cakes and my son loves fresh fudge take a moment to savor the moments that really matter with milk today.

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Dozens of migrants die in shipping container on lorry in Mozambique

UN News

05:14 min | 1 year ago

Dozens of migrants die in shipping container on lorry in Mozambique

"This is Matt Wells at UN news well in Mozambique on Tuesday fourteen deeply. Traumatized male migrants were rescued from a sealed shipping container on a lorry bound for South Africa. According to the International Organization for Migration Sixty four other men on the truck died from US. Fixation an interview with you and uses. Daniel Johnson. Iom's Sondra Black explains where the migrants came from and what the agencies doing to raise awareness about the dangers of such journeys lever the tragic news yesterday morning that the bodies of sixty four migrants were found in the back of a truck that had come from Malawi. The survivors reported that they were from Ethiopia and that they're on their way to South Africa in search of better opportunities for their own lives. Iowa most is in close contact with the National Migration Service of Mozambique in order to provide immediate assistance for the survivors. Do you know how they found the truck required to pull over at a checkpoint and police spoke with the driver asked him the contents of the vehicle where Austin to open the back of the truck and very sadly those bodies where found but we were glad. At least there's fourteen survivors. Thank goodness there. Were some survivors. It really does sound horrific. Do you have any more details? About where the migrants came from a- they all men are there any women and children. All of the migrants are men. No minors no. When we realized that these men were travelling from Malawi. And they're coming from Ethiopia with the goal of reaching South Africa. We have seen similar incidents in the past car accidents of migrants who are coming from Horn of Africa who are attempting to travel to South Africa in search of education and economic opportunity of course traveling down through Mozambique Malawi areas. That were really really hit by two massive tropical storms Kennedy. What's the situation for migrants? I mean it's tough enough for many in. Mozambique so are they not aware that conditions are absolutely dire for many in Mozambique on their way through to South Africa. Mozambique is along this southern Africa routes where we see migrants coming from eastern Africa traveling down to South Africa but we still in Mozambique have over one hundred thousand people in resettlement sites. The country is still recovering from SCICLUNA die and cyclone. That happened one year ago. We realized that these migrants are looking for educational and Economic Opportunities. Some of them are fleeing violence so they may feel themselves to be in desperate situations. I'm would've you manage to find out from these migrants not necessarily those rescued from the latest. Laurie tragedy. What does it they tell you? What are they looking for? Exactly the situation that some of these migrants are fleeing is fleeing hardship in their countries fleeing poverty. There may be fleeing islands. They may not have the opportunities that they need in order to find employment to support their families so that they feel that migration is an opportunity to improve their circumstance so they choose to leave their homes many in this region we see them travelling to South Africa. So what's the IOM's daily work if you like? What's your objective? Both in preventing people from risking their lives in really dangerous journeys down from the east of Africa to the south. And how do you maybe get some people home repatriate them? That's one of the International Organisation of Migration Semaine functions to isn't it? I O N Mozambique in cooperation with other missions. The South Africa where involved in information-sharing we want migrants to realize the dangers of these irregular migration journeys. We also have a project. In order to voluntarily return migrants to their home countries. We have returned over several hundred migrants. Who WENT TO SOUTH AFRICA? Who did not find the opportunities that they were looking for and wanted to voluntarily return to their home country so just from from Mozambique. We've returned over three hundred migrants Mozambican migrants in the past few years from South Africa and finally in terms of covert nineteen preparedness. What can you tell us about the state of play in? Mozambique the moment many cases of infection there are a few cases of coveted nineteen in Mozambique. This question is best placed for the World Health Organization but all UN agencies are in support of the government of Mozambique the Ministry of Health and the World Health Organization to respond to this crisis.

South Africa Mozambique National Migration Service of Mozambique Malawi Africa Economic Opportunities International Organization for Africa US Malawi Iom Ethiopia UN International Organisation of Daniel Johnson Matt Wells Sondra Black World Health Organization Iowa Kennedy
Chapter 6: The Verdict and the Miracle

Carruth

43:55 min | 3 years ago

Chapter 6: The Verdict and the Miracle

"A listener. Note, this story contains adult language and some graphic descriptions, violence. Previously on Caruth somebody said something about the Caruth trial starts tomorrow. And I said a few words because I realized that's when I had gotten deferred to firing five bullets point, blank range into Shariq out body all the elements of premeditation or there. She was the strongest witness for herself to her own murder rated founded saying his head. There was a bad plan also. No, actually he's saying he didn't do this Mr. Kennedy and that you're a liar. They, we're going to use van Brett Watkins, and I'm just sitting here thinking, hey, ain't gonna work out so good for you. I would rip you like a rag doll, probably the most unhappy guy in that courtroom was gentry. They were afraid they were going to lose the case. Down the hallway from courtroom, thirty three, a one in Charlotte's criminal courts building. There's a meeting room tucked in the back away from the lawyers, the parents and the media scrum engulfing everything around the Ray Caruth murder trial. The one window in the room looked out onto a parking garage, the twelve men and women of the jury gathered around a long table about to decide Caruth fate. In the killing of ceriga Adams, we had four or five things that we had to discuss. They had been charged with four different items. This is Clark panel, one of the jury members, and I've read after the fact that people out in the hall said, we were yelling and we were doing this and we were doing and I took exception to that. We all had been stifled for three months. We all wanted to talk at once. I wanted to make my point. She wanted to make her point. He wanted to make his point. It was like sitting around with family, you know, at thanksgiving dinner and everybody's talking at one time. It was basically that for those three months jurors had passed the time there during breaks in the trial by playing cards or working on a puzzle, or sometimes just counting down until they had lunch at a nearby. Restaurant called show Mars the only way on news circus because we could look out the women see what was going on outside. We were kind of confined to the jury room. And then at lunch, you know, we gave show Moore's lot of business. And occasionally some of us would bring our lunches and we'd go hide out in the park and the because if you didn't, people were come up. People did try. And I guess it was people that had come to the trial and they'd see us headed show, Marge women. And we'd just start our heads and and keep going, which is what we were instructed to do after going that far, I don't think any of us wanted to get kicked off the jury for doing something stupid. There was no TV in that room and know newspapers were allowed either the jurors had their own private bathroom when they threw away notes. The tore them up first before giving them to the court officer. And there are Pennells sat among a lawyer, a banker, a homemaker, a fraud investigator, and the others who made up crews. Jury scribbling stream of thoughts into court provided notebooks. The judge told us before the trial started who said they were going to be a lot of stuff say I'd done a lot of action said you're gonna need to remember everything that happens. So I recommend that you take as good a node sues you can't. So I went through the I eighty pages and then I flipped it over and started coming back on the next eighty pages. And then I went to book to started on page one sixty one. In a way after three months that jury room had come to feel like a prison of its own on January sixteenth, two thousand one. The jurors themselves were handed the key lawyers for Ray Caruth and the state of North Carolina completed their closing arguments for panel and the other men and women of the jury. Only one thing stood in their way of going home. They simply had to answer the question should Reich, Aretha live or die. From the Charlotte observer in McClatchy studios. This is Caruth. I'm Scott Fowler, and this is chapter six, the verdict and the miracle. This podcast is supported by the national coalition against domestic violence for forty years. The grassroots voice victims and survivors and the catalyst for society that no longer. Tolerates domestic abuse learn how you can take a stand against domestic violence at NCA DV dot org. This podcast is also supported by safe alliance, providing hope and healing to more than thirteen thousand survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault in the Charlotte area each year. See how your donation helps build a healthy and peaceful community at safe alliance dot org. Now, back to our story. And it's closing argument. The prosecution argued Caruth was the mastermind responsible for Cherie Kaz killing. The defense claimed her shooting was retribution for a large scale drug deal gone wrong. If Ray had just paid us the money, none of this would have happened as the drama shifted to that back room. Judge Charles lamb. I instructed the jury to pick a foreman. Most observers presumed it would be her Brown a lawyer for thirty seven years himself. And one had even tried cases against the lead prosecutor gentry caudill, but Brown wanted no part of the job. I never did get into a contest with anyone else trying to be the form and I prefer not to because I think it would appear had been a form of being an attorney with as much experience as I had, then the people may get out of there. Well, why did you have that one lawyer there when his other eleven jurors have been more puppet like I did not want that to happen. The attorney recruit. Himself immediately, which we all thought was probably a good idea because he said, if I'm jury foreman, whatever verdict we come out with is going to be torn to bits. And he said, I just don't think that it would be fair interest to me or to the jurors for me to be the reform was fifty two years old and worked at a Charlotte charity called crisis assistance ministry. You'd actually served on a jury in a murder case before the not as the Forman. But this time Pinna was elected Forman in a secret ballot after I was elected, we said, well, we don't need to vote on anything right now. We need to just kind to get our thoughts about us. So we all started going through our notebooks. And then I said, okay, give me some some input. What are your thoughts next? The jury needed to reach unanimous agreement on each of the four charges Karoo faced ver. First degree murder conspiracy to commit murder using an instrument with intent to destroy an unborn child and discharging a firearm into occupied property. Everyone. Very composed in in our deliberations. And there was no unkind words said to anyone drawer. This is Brown again, problem ause well, Ray Caruth wasn't the actual man who shot and kill the victim sharia atoms for name in North Carolina. Criminal cases, prosecutors can recommend the charges to be brought against the defendant and the defense can even way in. But the exact crimes right Caruth was charged with were determined by judge lamb who died in twenty sixteen, both sets of lawyers told me they agreed with lamps charges. Judge lamb told us what he intended to charge on. And that was first degree murder or not guilty. And the reason is and judge lion was falling law and correctly doing so this is gentry. Caudill the lead prosecutor. In the case, all the evidence was that this murder was done. Premeditation deliberation and specific intent to kill. There's no reason, no justification for submitting anything. But I agree murder by way of premeditation. So it was first degree are not guilty to the murder charge. The jury was given a verdict sheet to fill out for each charge writing down guilty or not guilty on each of the four pieces of paper. Well, we, we took votes on various charges. Some members of the jury had their minds mostly made up including an insurance underwriter in his late fifties. Whose name was Jerry karst. We had only one choice for the murder charge which was murdered in the first degree. At one point I asked question, is there anybody in here who doesn't think Caruth is up to this and up to his eyeballs. Everybody said, yes, they agreed that he was in the jury room. They weren't buying defense attorney, David Rudolph's theory that shriek have been killed over a drug deal. I've seen his most recent staircase set on Netflix, and my impression of David was he came up with alternate set of possibilities that were never backed up by anything in the testimony that I ever heard. He said it could possibly been it a drug deal, gone bad. None of the testimony even hinted at that, but 'penal remembers that for two days, the jurors disagreed on what to do with that interpretation. We decided that we would take a preliminary vote and we were not unanimous on any of the four atoms. And so we talked about it a little bit more. And I think I said, now that we've talked some more, should we vote again. And somebody said, no, I don't think we should vote again because from what I've heard, we're not at the point where everybody's gonna change their mind. Pennells says that gradually the jury agreed on the three lesser charges as we got more into the trial. And as we got into deliberations, we kept going back to that nine one one call. We just couldn't wrap our hands around. Why would she save some of things? She said at this moment, if they weren't rigged. And I was kinda thinking to myself how you couldn't help, but believer seemed almost impossible to me. So I think in the overall picture that was probably ninety percent of why voted the whale voting. But the murder charge caused problems. The four conspirators in Serena's killing Caruth had been the first to go on trial, but not the first to resolve his case van Brett Watkins who actually shot ceriga had already pleaded guilty to second degree murder. Caruth had declined the same plea deal. And now this first degree murder charge came with a potential death sentence that said, jurors like her Brown, Gerry karst at odds, but didn't think Ray Caruth was guilty of first degree murder. If the trigger man were guilty of second-degree murder, while we convict someone else, I agree murder, who is not the trigger. I mean, that's how that case played out. I think he should have been convicted of first degree murder and everything that we saw in court back that up. Everybody's story was the same Cherie Cas nine one one call and her later statements in the hospital. I don't think would be sufficient to. Convince me that Caruth was the perpetrator, but everything else along with. I mean, the David Rudolph didn't come up with any good alternative explanation for the facts that we had. I would've voted for the death penalty. In this case. He certainly did everything that is required for that type of conviction after two days of deliberations. Penaltl judge lamb. The jury was at an impasse, but at the tail end of a three month, long trial, the judge was having none of it lamb sent them back to the jury room to keep working. So we went back and we sat down and have we had another couple of hours a very good deliberation. So we broke for them. But before we broke, I said, now tomorrow's Friday. We do not have to make a decision just because it's Friday. I said, you know the whole world sitting out there waiting on us to make a decision. But if we don't feel comfortable tomorrow morning, when we come in about voting, we're not going to say, listen, I'll go home, get as good, a notch wrist as you can think about all things have happened the last two or three days, but most especially what's happened in these last three hours. And let's come back tomorrow morning and will continue our discussion by the fourth day, the only remaining question was whether to convict Caruth of first degree murder. Everybody really seemed to be more refreshed and had a little bit of about sender stale, and we deliberated probably onto lunchtime. And then we came back and I think that's when we voted and. We all called our spouses or significant others that we wanted to call and said. Turn on television. It's going to happen move in the next hour. The jury returns unanimous verdict as follows that the defendant Ray Lamar cruise is guilty of discharging farm and occupied property. Guilty of using an estimate with intent to destroy an unborn child. Guilty of conspiracy to commit murder of sharia Adams. But not guilty of the first green. The verdict left everyone stunned crew had been effectively declared guilty of masterminding. Shariq is killing but found not guilty of her actual killing. He wouldn't get the death penalty, but he would spend years in prison. Karstic knowledge is the punishment was either the best of both worlds or the worst. We were not permitted to consider second degree murder. We said, okay, we'll agree that he's guilty of all the lesser charges, but will say, we cannot convict on first degree. That's what we came out within the end. Caudill didn't like it a bit. He was about to become a judge himself. So this was his last case as a prosecutor looking back over his sterling legal career. This is one verdict that clearly still bothers him. The judge following the law jury didn't. The court instructed them that if they found Caruth was acting in concert with Watkins and the codefendants in their common scheme to ambush and murder, Shariq Adams, then he would be guilty. I agree murder by way of acting concert and or if you will, if they found that Caruth aided instigated, procuring Watkins to murder, Shariq announce or. Fire into our occupied vehicle, then he would be as guilty of first degree murder as Watkins, and they found him guilty of conspiracy to commit murder, aiding and abetting. If you will acting in concert, they found him guilty a fire into an occupied vehicle, felony murder. If you find those have fun, I don't have to the jury and have to do anything, but you know, if they follow the law, they follow their oath to apply the law is given to them by the judge. Then one would follow the other. They did not follow the law Pinot completely rejects that framing. I think the state made a huge air by not giving me stop Shen of second degree murder. We all knew that he was part of it, but with him not pulling the trigger in good conscience, we couldn't say, I agree if they had said, second degree ninety nine percent. Sure we would have done that. I know I would have. What you gotta go with options you're giving as we were told numerous styles, we're not allowed to deviate from the instructions that were given to us. Caruth. Defenders were equally upset. His mother told ABC's twenty twenty that our son was punished. For quote the sins of OJ people down here, feel that professional athletes have gotten away with too much the Audrey Caruth said they had to punish him for something. They punished him for OJ Simpson, even Rudolf agreed with caudill in a narrow sense, how do I feel about the verdict now looking back on it, you know, at the time I was disappointed, you know, it was an inconsistent verdict. I thought, you know, we had a very good chance of winning that case. So I was disappointed looking back on it now. I think in some strange way, the jury sort of figured haven't and sort of compromised to a place that you know, even Ray can accept. Okay, I get it. I, I'm responsible for this situation, so I needed to pay a price. And so you know, the jury probably got it right now with with what they came up with, and you know, that was a death penalty case, so that that was. You know, looking back on it, that's a win. You know what I mean? Ray is walking out of prison in October, you know, in a lot of ways, we sort of won that case the day after his conviction Karoo spins twenty seventh birthday in jail, two days after that, judge lamb sentenced him to at least nineteen years in prison. That hearing was the first time in the entire trial. The court heard from Cherie Carr's mother, Sondra an forgiving. I can't hate rate for roof because he is fundament grandsons, but in no way to do. I think that he should get off easy for what he's doing, remembers another moment of her grace. It was no winner. In this case, just tragedy all around. And after the verdict, she asked us to join her in a room outside the courtroom. She and some other friends and relatives, I guess, formed circle and she prayed prayed for us. Pray for right. Caruth prayed for van. Brett Watkins. It was an incredibly moving moment. I'll never forget. Yeah, regardless of the verdict, Sondra was still left to cope with the loss of her only child, whether he got nineteen years like he did or if he would have gotten closer to forty years, like van Brit did Rica still dead and is not bringing her bag. So not wasting my emotion on what day he gets out. This podcast is supported by the Children's Defense Fund founded in nineteen seventy three by civil rights. Pioneer Marian Wright Edelman. Dr. King was shot went into riot-torn, Washington DC neighborhoods, urging children not to loot, get arrested, ruin their futures, a twelve year old black or looked me straight in the I and said, lady ain't got no future. Well, it is time for the United States and for the black community and all of us to prove that boys truth wrong. You can help improve the odds for all children at Children's Defense, dot org, slash never give them. Now, back to our story. Caruth has been everyday since in prison. The verdict survived every appeal. At least once a week for the past fourteen years Sondra chancellor have come here to the busy child and family development center in south Charlotte. This is the reality left behind once the verdicts were read in the public, moved on privately. There was still a young man coping with severe physical and intellectual disabilities. He has irreversible brain damage suffered. The ninety was born when his mother was shot by the killer his father hired and with him every step of the way has been Sondra Adams, his beloved grandmother. They were the ones left behind in the aftermath of the Burdet CT clinging to their faith and to each other. Sandra has been chancellor lease primary caregiver from the beginning. And no, she will be for as long as she lives. She's embraced her role is Jima partly, of course because she sees so much of her daughter in grandson. But she was so determined that she was not going to die out on that street that she was going to get help and deliver her child. She was so focused on, you know, this her baby. She showed so much determination and so did chancellor because he could have had a week spirit and not really fought to live like he did, but he was determined is Wael that he was gonna live, and I think he's been determined since that time that he will live and be the best chancellor that he can be. Because chancellor does not think he's disabled, he is able differently. So he does not conduct himself like a helpless person. And so I see ceriga coming through that fight net determination. Of course, Sandra also say someone else in chancellor Li smile, and I must give credit to rake roof because I think Ray has some of those same qualities. You couldn't make it to the NFL just being mediocre. And so that strong athletic ability, the chancellor has and he displays when he's doing his therapy and it's not even disturbing is the day today task that we take so much for granted that he has to put so much effort into doing. I think it's great that he displays that drive and that to NASA Turkey. And I've been lucky to see that too nasty in person over the years for the most part, Sandra has kept her grandson shielded from the media, partly that's due to his past, but also because she doesn't want to overwhelm a teenager with significant disabilities. Chancellor -ly knows a number of words, but speaks very few complete sentences. He recently learned to count to one hundred by tens. His speech can be hard to understand unless you're around him a lot. But periodically and especially over the past few years, she's offered me extended glimpses into chancellor lease life. For instance, when he does therapeutic horseback riding, misty meadows farm just outside of Charlotte. What are some of your favorite things to do. Five or spec. Do you have a favorite horse where. Are you on Reiter? Yeah. What do you say Li when you want the horse. Oh, walk on. And what about when you want the horse to stop more. Yeah. And here at child and family development where chancellor Li sometimes simply walks the halls. Although there's nothing simple about walking for a young man with cerebral palsy. We have recounted every steps one, two threes. Number eighty two. But now we don't have to count. Amy Sturkey has been chief physical therapist since he was five used to walk everywhere in his own used only walk sometimes. Now he trusts starting to walk some independently. Doctors said, predicted chancellor Li might never walk it all today. He walks by himself. With the aid of a Walker or with a gentle hand to hold his steps are deliberate and often flat, which also makes them somewhat noisy. When you have cerebral palsy, you tend to move in more simplified patterns and some of it actually minutes early development, early kids what they want. They wall kind of like this and he's still a locker relatively speaking. So he tends to walk this way what leg up and down. But we walk by flexing our hip, extending the in Bercy flexing foot. So we don't walk with hip flexibility flexing coming like like that, like a little baby. And it's puts a lot more pressure on your joints and set you up to lose your. So we're working on a hilltop gate powder and because that you often get here early coming. Told me early on. He would never want to look. Until. We can take the stamp in March, and it is wonderful. Say, agrees miracle love to hear him coming. As you never thought you. After walking the hallway, chancellor Li often heads through a side door for a tricky. The stairs. Christner. Now. He has to take turns speak. Sturkey leads chancellor Li to a small trampoline helps imbalance while a bats balloons back to him ever tosses. So he hits on this particular day in twenty sixteen it was me. Then it's onto what's Turkey calls, elbow, extensions. Basically pushups on a red and yellow Jim, Matt near the wall. He'll do ten of these. The determination required for those pushups as a apparent. All the way. All right, very good. And there's another unmistakable site, chancellor lease arm, muscles, literally bulge out from the sleeves of his purple polo shirt. Do you like going to therapy. The same? Yeah. Are you strong and yeah. Having worked as larger muscles, chancellor Li sits with occupational therapist, Abby wash to hone his smaller ones. All right. For fifteen minutes. He'll practice scooping food out of a bowl with a spoon. These metals aren't doing. Yeah, grain telling. Muscles to overwork, really relying a lot of these big muscles to make these small movements happen. That's why he's doing that lean here. We're working on when he brings it to his mouth, really using the shoulder rather than you. And I are just going to keep it from the elbow down canes to use his big muscles because that's where he has the majority of his control. By doing things like leaning this way. That's why he's got that shoulder going. The whole by has to get into scoop in the next wash, helps chancellor Li practice, writing his name, which starts with opening the plastic container of markers, how you can hold the base it part of got it on there and I'll help you hold it down and then pop athlete open. If you need me, you know what to say. Right. He's got things containers at home. He needs to open dressing food stuff, that kind of thing coordinating his hands to get what he needs. Purple purple day. Buber don't they look good, Sandra believes chancellor league. Got that fashion sense from his mother. He loved to dress up. Everything had to be, you know, just need, never and chancellor has a lot of those qualities. Chancellor is so particular about his clothing in ill tell you can't feel like we're in a certain color and, oh goodness, don't let him be eating and get a little something on his clothes. She was the same way she would go and change. Now he just has to get wiped off. Gee, mom doesn't have time for all the. For the next ten minutes, he'll work on writing his name with a big purple marker that matches his bright polo shirt. And this land board gives him a little better control of his awesome tail to start with first name. Okay. Okay. Just go for it and we've got a couple more papers on here. Heaney a couple of times you can do a couple times. Oh, okay. Top in yourself and your arm out of control there. That's so good. Youthful. And you read that perfect picture. He's really usually he just saves the excitement for at the end when he gets it today, he's so excited. You're just gonna do that the whole time. You should know during therapy is phenomenal. Every single week, no matter what's going on. I mean, it's like you could be having a bad day in here. If you're lucky enough to be working with leading, never mind the ongoing reality of raising special needs. Child is obviously more nuance than that chancellor Li will likely always require caregiver. Pass Sandra about that during one of chancellor lease therapy sessions. I remember like it was just yesterday, sitting in doctor's offices are the team of medical staff was they're telling me all the things that he won't be able to do. He won't walk. He won't talk. He's not going to be able to feed himself. You know, every part of his brain was affected. So you know, we may be looking at someone this bed bound and you know, under my breath, I was rejected and every last word of and he is talking not as clearly as you know, believe he will. But I understand him. His teachers understand him when you around him and always say, he's in the smile ministry. You know, he's already walking in his collar and he, he just smiles and lights up the room and puts people at ease, and you know, and he's. Happy. He literally wakes up in the morning smiling and he goes to bed. He's still smiling. He has taught me more about how to love unconditionally the best lesson that I could've ever learned in my. So you know, when I think of the whole package of chance to leeann now how he's really coming into his own with his moral independence, and I'm just disgraceful from just grateful. There's no doubt she's right about the joy. Her grandson brings to others. I know I feel it when it gives me a hug which is done before and after every one of our interviews over the years. Thank you. This day. Anyway, everything was going right for him in washes, hardest test. She sits chance early in front of a mirror and tells them to button his own caller by his standards. He does it extremely fast, so fast. In fact, she almost misses it because she's answering one of my questions in good faith. Eighteen minutes do, but we do sometimes three battles in session and not one complaint from this number one of loss of focus anything. I mean, just amazing. Right? I is to. Time is to. That calls for a celebrate Tori dance. To what else, but the Ferrer William smash, hit happy. This podcast is supported by no more no more. It's none of my business, no more. He didn't mean it no more. Not my problem. No more. She was flirting with him no more. She was asking for it. No more boys will be boys. No more say something next time noble or by standing? No more ignorance. No more excuses. No more pledged to be part of the movement and donate to help prevent domestic violence at no more dot org. Now, back to our story. Four men responsible for chancellor lease disabilities. Only Caruth went to trial, Michael Kennedy pleaded guilty to second degree murder and serve nearly eleven years in prison. He was released in twenty eleven and declined to participate in this project. But his lawyer, James XM did speak with me. He feels like a bad chapter in his life and wants to move on from it. And I understand that. And I think again at Michael's non-participation is that he feels very bad about that. He knows he stepped out of his normal character and not so much of a get it because that's possible. But again wants to have that behind him and move forward Stanley, Abraham served a little less than two years after his own plea deal. He got out in two thousand one yet somehow the conspirator Sandra felt the most connection to is the man who shot. Her daughter van Brett Watkins. He'll be in prison until at least twenty forty six. If he lives that long, I told Sandra that I've been divisible him recently in prisons isn't doing okay. Seems to be doing okay. Is in 'cause I know he had some health issues and I was concerned Izzy does have some health issues, but they're not like critical. Okay. Here, things are more bothersome like he's. Okay. But Caruth is the man who will forever cast his shadow over this saga. With every step chancellor Li takes the teenager moves farther away from his father's legacy and the awful circumstances of his birth. Then again, maybe that something mostly outsiders like me worry about as he scribbled his name in purple marker, that therapy session. Chancellor Lee grant from ear to ear as it usually does. This is gonna be here warm up one to just do your best. We're gonna flip it over and then we're going to do another one to get going. Sometimes it gets easier s. Sandra at that session, how much chancellor -ly knows about his father named it. There's more, you know, we have video, you know, I'll show him the video. He sees his day and I have one of Ray's football pitchers. I haven't in his ABA with this Bursa ticket and everything. So he could see his parents because I want him to know that you will formed in love to me there, no illegitimate children, their illegitimate circumstances. In always explained to him that you day just did a bad thing. He's paid for it. Now, given the severity of his mental disability, I asked her if chancellor Li understands where his father is right now, where he, I don't think he really has a total concept. What that means. He's watched some shows with people behind bars in prison, and I'll tell him, you know that this is where you're at, he is. He's locked up like this. And so I mean, I think he understands to a degree, but you know, maybe not in maybe that's a good thing. So he don't really know out that works soon. Caruth will be a free man and a new media storm is already taking shape. Once again, the reality for Sandra inner grandson, we'll surely get harder before it gets easier. So when they recently visited our offices, I had a few more questions for chancellor Li about life inside his smile, ministry. Something. Yeah, just gonna put it on here. Okay. To do any on this site too. We could hear you at the microphone. So that way when we talk to you are cameras can hear you, isn't that Laura. Dr. It is much. Would you count for us? Can you count. Q. Okay. Okay. So let's start by you telling me your name. I-. Leah Dems? Yeah. Now, what do you call your grandmother? You fall Jima. Yeah. And what do you call your mother. That's right. Do you like. What is your motto church? I can't do our good through Amy. Emme give because bird girl draw is. I can do anything because God is with me. That's right. I'm glad you told me that. What do you like to watch on TV care? Are. Steve. The mar- if places girl play, feel chances cargo, where have you been that you really like cow? Why Colorado. Who went to college Colorado, where. Do you know what right looks like. Yeah, dude, it you look like for a girl. Mommy. Piece z. like mommy. But a lot of people think you like your day gray. Yeah, yeah. Look like rate a little bit. Do you know where your father is now. We're. That's right. And do you know what's going to happen to him pretty soon? Try. Would you like to meet your father? You. What would you do if you met. Say. I'm Scott. Fowler in this podcast is produced by Jeff signer and Rachel Weisz and Davin Coburn at McClatchy studios, fine. Lots more about this case at Charlotte observer dot com slash Caruth and for just thirty dollars subscribe now to a full year of the observers, award-winning sports coverage at Charlotte, observer dot com. Slash sports pass, leave us a rating and review on apple podcasts, and you can reach me directly at s Fowler at Charlotte, observer dot com. In chapter seven, the long road to forgiveness and everything that comes after my fault is that I didn't do like a hitman should do kill everybody on the same. I think I'm a grandma that would do what she is supposed to do in the face of tragedy. -cations. Co Wargo Colorado. So. That always happens when I talk about them. Thank king associate, November sixteen with the Dame. My grandchild was our meal boy.

Audrey Caruth chancellor murder chancellor Li Brett Watkins Charlotte first degree murder second degree murder Ray ceriga Adams Sandra Caruth Sondra chancellor Michael Kennedy conspiracy to commit murder Chancellor -ly Charles lamb Ray Caruth North Carolina
Episode 46  Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

The Billowing Hilltop Podcast

1:21:44 hr | 3 weeks ago

Episode 46 Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

"Dylan hilltop to the hallowed welcoming podcast sponsored by sodastream half. The trouble doubled a bubble. We haven't extended episode for you this week. So keep his short has ever. We are grateful for any ratings reviews feedback. We are active on twitter. You can find us on facebook. You can email us at hello billowing. Hilltop dot com. Oilers a postcard. Our dress is number sixty nine philis passage up and gnomes bottom billowing scher d twenty six. Hp and poor will add it to his copious sack. That's it. i have nothing more. Let's push on with episode. Forty six of the billowing yellow podcast. Should i stay. Or should i go. Good evening everyone digging. In good evening my daughter came to me crying as she sends. Daddy is what is it teepee k. I heard about those things. She was in tears absolutely funds. Is scientists good evening everyone. We're talking about the situation that we find ourselves in shoutout to my sons. Go friend who it turns out. It's also listening to the podcast. Being very common bill. Geena pulled costs go bucket open. That's no way hopefully the recap. Gt's goto either Lucas who is trying to supper so it's just hope it's him or paul One two three. Lucas forty six. Paul is lucas believable. Lucas put down your venus schnitzel today. New sausage down the sauerkraut put down your grew year. But then the fondue do. Yeah and tell us about where we are. You don't need to get too much detail. But a quick recap for all readers My citizens swiss ship interview monday. Actioning to have an interview with the local councillors. Does he doesn't entire switzerland. No no. that's all that you don't want to citizens why do you. What does account degree eight from something else. You're rusty's cold deluca so you probably best So they recap so basically. We wondered on past the mirror room after having defeated all of our ganga's yes and in the you came into another room which was full of some interesting sort of scientific like contraptions with some kind of headsets with all sorts of weird wires and we thought was hess detestable and malvina and then after having talked to us history testy poked scuttled away and let a massive viable loss on this. Which did how many eight ten six damage or eleven. i think it was. Yeah so we will completely decimated at which point we basically all ran away back to this sort of barracks area with the exception of alissandria who tried to engage as detestable. And he's now running away as well also running away. Because now hefty testy pod has turned into. If i remember correctly some kind of weird ogm age type thing is. I was like with this. Great acts looks like some sort of frosty great and so now the puckering sessions a sort of hiding away in the office area where we found all the plans and then buck raft took it upon himself then to go back into the pool area and when he turned up in the central pillar thing where the lever is in the latter he then viewed going off towards the east obviously does appear to be a mind lab. That is perfectly some west. We point out that there was a lot of discussion about whether we really believe was a mind flare or not. They also missed out the fact that there was pretty bad. School boy. Errors made by everybody. Rest we didn't respite. Inhale we didn't do any of that stuff and we will just piled into the room in a very fireable friendly fashion. Yeah yep so one. Hundred and sixty is between us extended express and we have an inventory of where everybody's got left as a wise idea points. That kind of stuff would be useful to have a clear sense of there. I have four. Hit points redesign lots of messaging during the week between the players that they fund four hit points and one festival spell which is either a cure wins or could be a distant wisps for three d. sixpence damage. And that's what i thought. That's all i got. The table would about anna sandra. Then i mean what situation do you find yourself in alissandria funds himself in a situation of six eight points. She's used misty step. You're either talking with your action or tax of opportunity. I can do a. You've got up cutting action. I've cutting action. So i can do withdraw move with my speed. Thirty have ankle. Bucky on coup buggy is got nine hit points. No spells is country and he's got one right. What about paul. Says i have a twelve hit points and just s- covered. I have yes and moriches. I have to i. Level spells only had one. So i have to queue wounds Definitely frontline material. The question is the question is honestly i mean. We want everyone attacking as much as possible. Me yeah so. I find some way against this. Oga guy and these two Doppler gang by don't fancy my chances against the might fly so if log raft can come back in and closed the door. Then i think we might have a challenge against these to the question is do we get the opportunity for a five minute. Rest if we can hide away in these cubbyholes the very monday rafters as it were one for off into space. S i know. He's not johnny depp. Worry tone stress. He's taking split-second decision at this. Very second as to whether or not to jump off the pillow and into the water as sessions. What about you things. Look we'll sessions is in the very unusual situation that he's on twelve points that hasn't taken damage in some times. I took go out from in battery code. That i have one. I love spell left. You lucky posit. Lookie but the thing by chuffed with is i still have to uses of my channel divinity and the cloak of shadows out very very appealing not channel divinity. No doesn't doesn't do healing it. Does cloak shadows sneaky way type thing. That's sneaky away type thing l. Bug off to so jealous. Let's pick things up with the ready action of this mind. Flyer waiting somebody. Did he ever next action. Oh why we ran out on this of course way to the pillar in the middle of this room flames did so it raised its arm and pointing at because it had been waiting for one of you to come running out and as soon as you ran into its field of view it is firing off the spell that had decided that it would fire anyone that came up. Is he really think outdoor. I mean many small. Hobart a black beam of innovating energy springs from the finger towards. I've got to make world safe. i can hit grown. And what's hitting arm kloss eighteen plus hit and so you warsaw to might be my some protection it is a net chromatic effect and on a hit you only now deal hof damage with any weapon attack that uses strength until the end of the spell you get to make a constitution saving throw at the end of each of your turns but you are affected for the moment. Saudi weedy moving. Yeah you're waiting now. He would've decision to make your poised to squares of movement. Left the edge of this platform. What would you like to do with the remaining movement that you have. I'm going to pretend that he's beam has basically finish me off on. I'm going to sort of hollywood style Full of water into the water. Can you make a deception check. Please deception plus zero mike. Okay and that was me. Rony minds practice practice. Roller was it doesn't mean his surreal. Okay papa six sixteen okay. Let's see okay. Well okay and you jump off. The edge is that it is that all you can do. That's no movement for offers it. Okay yeah okay so more squares movement. So i'm swimming. Oh okay your mind. The swimming the clock in the water below to that. So i am now out of vision on highly beyond your about fifteen feet below the level of the. Come up on honesty stabilized. Because you've just done a daffy. Duck death avenue. Okay so you face your own death basically is that it yes. False thank came. The next in devoid is sessions epa. What would you want to well now. That uncle bucky down. I'm wondering with my writing thinking that. All of the doors between burp parker and sessions and the mirrored room and the room that hefty dipoto. Whoever is who's and all of that they're all closed. Yeah yeah. I think that currently open. I close the final dull. I'm that i lost move. I closed the one in the corridor. The learn how anybody have to open the doors as she comes. This is what i'm trying to establish is not we all come up yet but i just want to make sure you might want to know that before you act so the because i remember sandra. She opened the first door coming out with the big room and then she could not the second one. That's the toll from where sondra currently is into the room with mirrors is definitely climb. Yeah yeah and the room that leads off. The main corridor towards the mirrored room is close or not the door in between the mirrored room and the anti-chambers. Now this none of this is making any sense. now it's not too close doors. Saunder psychosis interrupted. You just remind me about the room. Yeah yeah absolutely with the ladder. Up is a pillar. So it's solid and at the top is zeev. That's right and the pathway from the door to the pillai is a bridge. Said there's a ten foot wide of in the centre. Yeah rising two point ten feet above the top of the water. So you're ten feet down uncle buggy and a stone platform fifty feet above the floor of the room and therefore ten feet above the water because it's forty feet of water. Yes leads to a locked door. I'm saying that's a platform. Therefore it's not a solid adjustment of stone the tool you can be underneath it in the water be underneath. It's a diving board. Basically yeah but it stone and it's built out and just for clarity the mind flays at what level the mind flare is at the same level as the door the platform in the top of the pillar all ten feet above the water level to creatures with the mind flair. They like old purply. Blue skinned white head to the veil fin creatures in light black clothing carrying simitis with bows live. They're awesome whilst graham i. I'm thinking i might jump into. the water. is that is attack of opportunity. Always ready to action rather than yeah. Do you think stale guy where it depends if they coming into the water also. Yeah that's what it basically boils down to. We don't know the ounce to that. My theory is there waiting that because they can't come across the water and that lever moves this walkway round to where they are so they can walk across either. Could do that. That's a theory. I thought it was bracing and lowering the water. That's all and could be eat them. What do you think graham. And i don't want to be on two sides. Do i still. Don't get the mechanism of this water. Thing must be missing something. You and me both i mean going does seem like the prudent course run away. I think that's probably though. I two guys but can we can. We will do that. Move move. I can get in so wear ankle. Buggies yet move move. I can get to the water. Parkas next baucus quicker head. They're ready action is now or never snake movies. I can be in the water this round next round swim to the other chamber way we can try and we lose all a finishing off these to be could swim through the water to the other side. Take five minute rest sisley fall and then come back. Yeah but you didn't get yourself by then. But i get with my key point spun. You do the rest of points. Let's see you come back by yourself. I think i'm moving into the water sessions on. His legs is going to walk down. The corridor take hard left rundown than digital platform and camping. Swear he's okay pocket if you're going to run away then i've really got no option. I've i know you don't buy can move out of the office. Room opened the door to buckle. Yup that's your free interaction with an object to a cure wounds on purple yucky One eight plus two is ten points of healing on burble while sir nice and then move up to just before the dole. You're at the base of the little passageway that leads up to the rim of the water in it. Yeah you've basically forfeited a move by during that. Yes yes yes for you purple. Because the next i'm guessing the alissandria that crew. They can't move up to me and do something and so the next round. Don't i don't know where we are. Then our change would do is come into the same room as you bubble. I close the door and to open it but the can decide what you want so that that makes sense. why knows. if they're out in the corridor we still have to run across the corridor. They'll see us. I don't think they're going to get into that corridor in the next round possible yet. But i'll buy those doors closed. One of them is one of the maze. Second doors closed. I think but the first stories. I pin. They've kayla sandra then move. I think they bit. She might want to move. Tonight's beer by the way is cloud water pale delicious. Hazy chain rather nice mixed with the punches puck makes what sorry tonga's fuck the uncle little funding top sparking double filtered water resupplied. Johnny with big splash up. Just it's free slayings. Turn the tap on comes up. so how. Many of these canisters have you know naked flames in the kitchen to have rather a lot four package times. I mean it might be the wrong move. But i'm i'm happy with that move. I think you may need that. He'll so we move on. I think i can. But i wouldn't. I wouldn't come in here. I would go back to where you were. Okay and then they might. They might see you this some spell. They have to move move so they wouldn't be quite like the idea. Parker babbel having this conversation in the doorway. Yeah okay so parker you've he'll purple on the original thing which is heading on your way out but no birth. Be happily okay. Well that was going to pay jump in the water dive in the water gracefully. Yes leaving just park behind in kind of moving onto alissandria. It is your turn you. There's a door. The next u the creature that was has detested seems to be kind of buser. King crazed awkward giant and mas. Something that looks like mazda innovate. You suspect really isn't is ena is queuing up behind him. But it is your turn. I'm going to interact with the object some going to open the door. I'm gonna take the disengage cutting action. So i can move without attack of up to twenty from yup from either of them and then i'm going to move to the door to door now. My question is these beds. Yes what about if. I was to move small. Time for kip. High-speed i'm gonna long wrist unridable rest yet hide under a bed. That described as comfortable beds sandra. I'm going to receive means a divan. Divan whatever it is right but whatever they have legs. They're not just like a kind of pallet on the floor and like a kind of wheaty that'll bunk day. Aw show with bedding has like a box. I've backpedaling off the because that incredibly cruel have one of those draws that slides out and then you kind of open that in this full of stuff front. That would comfortable tells me bedding including potentially like spread and so yes. Yeah i'm being super nicer you are are you begins to make compensate for the fact that i'm everywhere else. Yeah i'm going to dive under the bed. Which is up against the wall. Yes and i've got a stealth of nine. So i'm going to what i'm hoping on before you set upon this course of action for like the third time that daw between the room you're in and the corridor is close is closed icon an icon to open it right. Because i've already opened one door be can move tibbets. So if he's got a spell. I'm not thinking about the mechanics of opening or closing the door. I thinking about the significance of a closed door. Okay let's find a way to minute if sorry if yes if it's a closed door it's likely that they're going to search excite to stand by the wall they can't attack me anyway saintly unless they post bells spells unless but even then they probably can't get a line on you for business poeple. They can't take taxable unity against it's not they can't tack here if they can up to you. They can still attack you but there could have come. They move move. He shaw well. It's it's seventy is simply put away unless it got an amazing movement slot seventy thirty to the door. Thirty five forty. That needed move a forty to be able to get get to you. I fifteen twenty twenty twenty five thirty pm. Police there enjoying this readers to there yet. The bavarian might be able to move out fast. Just yes barbarians me false okay so you. That's a good point guard. Could you close the door of the mirror. Severity directed rhody interacted with an action. However that's what you'd have an opposed drinks test right so you could hold try and hold the door close. Certainly who can open the door when you can run by through. You're just slowing them down. So he's gonna use his action to try to the door or not be to move right up to the other dole in the hope that that come they have to move. Move to get t. Don't get attacked sensually. can attack you. Yeah i think that's probably the thing. I'm gonna move up to that. I'm not saying that's the wrong thing to do. But he did. Seven is fireable right so But he did it as a different current. He's morphed into something else now here. We can't do that unhealthy boundaries. The other thought that causes is thirty for them to get to this. Assuming they've gotta move a thirty and not not greater allegra hammerstein fat. If you're like in this line inside the room there's no line at target to you. Yeah but then they can move in and just block you in. okay. I think so i think. Tha game micro. Chess has thus. I think that's enough on making a split-second decision about what to do. I'm getting to the next person to act is the orc and the or casco that kind of movement you are very wise to move those extra squares can get to one square away from you and i saw and then it goes on and it turns back into statistics behind it you can hit mas ena padding up and she appears in the doorway behind sti. Yes but can't yeah and we go on to the swimming pool. And it's uncle buggy on nineteen brie brie by graft he's going to start swimming as fast as little x. I mean there's a land running down the side of this column which you can pull your away down and then still under water. You have to swim along a passageway role. I'm going to do that. Came through so you can okay onto the map. So we'll just let the abstract for napa growth but you're currently heading towards the off the waterfield off with a barrel floating in it. The next creature to act is the mind flair but nobody can see the mind of the mindfloness house right now. Okay so we will draw a veil over there and we move on to sessions. Is action your presidio. You treading water wind or on the bottom. You'll put yourself down to the bottom of doing the same thing as boogie. Am heading his farsighted. Abstract that as well. I'm gonna leave you off the park. Your action did sandra see me. No right now. The door is closed. Then i will move. I assume that bubble didn't close the door. that'd be very cruel. So i move straight through it. Jump off into the water and you'll have to tell us how you how far we get through the water but you're swimming down right so i'm gonna side trail of bubbles being left behind towards the floor of the rim and you can kind of make a bit of progress and we'll leave it at that okay but on the other hand. Do you want to follow the others. Yes we can remove you from the map we can pick up what happens to you. Later into the rotating knives. Sorry passageway blocked corridor. Yes ram into the gulf blah through the one way valve and asandra. Your wall in a tight spot interact with an object opened the door. Yes i can make it to the water next parka with a move move and also take a dash sanctions could even go further to say. You're running for it and you're jumping into the water. One final point of clarity for me you jumping into the water as soon as you run into the room set off the side of the platform yet. So you'll know risking a glimpse of of the passage going in there. I can make you to park. And then i've got an entire dash action. You think that we can draw a veil over the rest of proceedings. you are undisturbed as you. Swim along the passageway You can allow yourself stuff float up in the sharp in it and reached the rope ladder. Just going to open up the other map right here. We are the top of the shaft in the room next to the roadway your attacked by weird invisible creatures next to the room where cuthbert left the eastwind spearing no into the ground. What you wanna do well allison is going to look at the say. Shall we wake us or joint to rest up and come back and finish these fucking off. Because i think we can is related to the trump door. No bug graft. Can you give me an intelligence check. Please is in the base of insulation than you. Very subplot by well. We'll see team okay. Now you've had a moment to reflect graft the odd elfin creatures that were with the mind flyer a little detail the you picks up as you were escaping but has now surfaced in your mind and you're reflecting upon it is that they're boots were caked in some kind of weird yellow powdery deposit mode yellow mode so ocana cake itself something like that. Yeah let me made romi funeral all mustard curry powder tested powder custom. Patter wouldn't be an engineering. The net krawczyk environment was the away. Hot warm or anything. They don't feel kind of volcanic area. There are no active volcanoes that you know of not even the newell mountains. So what's the deal climbing up the wall to remind me especially something. I think it's thirty five feet. And he's a writer it theory. We could rest up in this room and keep an eye on the water and have plenty of warning if we need to the plan to go back down. It does ankle buggy happening recollection of how he got into the mirror. Durham i'm blacked-out with the faa both the market and then i woke up in this tied up. Yeah we'll significance of the tough choice. Mike hinting that now. Can anybody think well that is. We need to serve minds. Something that happened six months ago. That might have some significance to one of those blue elemental. Things is not to be worried about or is that just basically. We could just peer into that room and check. Yeah just basically. I'm assuming that you're not just muddling in this chamber. Well we're keeping an eye on the water behind this. But i think it would be order view not to head ground at least out the door into the other room to make sure there's nothing on me. There's no sound of anything moving around or anything like that. I sure lowest short rest isn't really going to do very much is a the hit points bank. That's quite important. I think if we're gonna long rest we might. We might as well go and visit somewhere in town and see some the story points. We're supposed to begin to see elegant points. Then these people might get away but they may be another way as well that we don't know about but they might as well might in the alert shoes savings another way Maybe police luke suggested in the passageway rotates round to the other option. Yeah you didn't have anywhere near enough time. Exact scrutinize the setup of that room. What i would say is there was nothing immediately. Obvious about like that as in track marks around the wall. Something precisely nothing that said. That's definitely what the cases but there. There's also something that said absolutely ruled it out. Either at sandra have any idea about this goose considering local sondra can you give me an intelligence check please getting twelve. Nothing springs to mind about that. Yellow substance might have been. Okay i need about twenty seven. We do that fast. Or shoot Like graham saying on some of the league's we supposed to be getting to the elegance of kind of reminding you hack especially becoming with me kick out and seattle golsen. I think we came here to cow. Who is trying to kill us. Yes but we know he's trying to get us little less games. Yeah but they might catch. Seem like the end of level boss. It seems a bit. I don't think that did seem like the end of level boss really. Yeah i mean do you mean the mine flair. The you didn't think that was the end of level boss territory. We mesic gaming very strongly early in the story chapter to be known of us. We've got loads of stuff we've got to be doing here. I think the only you can send a baby girl way and it's been too long rest somewhere else. They could leave through the way. We've just left exactly. That's what i'm suggesting to take a short rest here then. Once we show rested we'd take a view on what we do. A short rest went back to go back down there. I'm thinking we do along west here. That the reason why i want to say first of all we go that plans. I'm thinking maybe finish them off. It also gives us the opportunity to properly ex- explore and search place which we didn't do and all that information that we gather that will be useful when we meet up with us. That's what we want to find out. Who are these people. Why did they can study those notes. Why would they shoot. That's one of the things we can do. They'll coaches have yes notes. We got from the office but we still need to explore and search the whole area. Where strange equipment was we show. We'll be fighting the mind. Forget about down. We'll be watching the mine. Fach we do that. We can go and see if that door is getting still going to be just standing. There is actually gonna peered once we triggered all sorts of other things that my close up again. Now we've got away so we're going to take a long rest. If we take the adding house we might be better off resting in the office room. We all the cells. We want to make sure by now. Why not rest here. I only need four hours to do four hours nine. The other four a great anything on the notes mike. The i stole from the office. We're going three them. Well now yes there is some. I think it's again. will i keep saying. This is my favorite phrase but we'll abstract. It's a little you think i along. Let's just talk about this. Start with the short rest for the hit. Points this shortlist. How much time do we get to talk. The final voting three three precisely pecan can roll three dice. Maybe didn't ask it eight. Plus that's pooling twelve thirty six singing as well what we do this by the way to get an extra six per head is wow really yup. Prosthetic constitution yeah lovely. Six and seven is the teams love. Twenty one good hang on an minus three six got to leave far twenty. Three of wright fifty minutes uncle buggy costing your is very briefly with these papers. You think that radio understanding what was in the papers is probably beyond do and the sondra if your wall. I'm having look. Yeah but adam. Sander is a local You recognize an a very quick glance. It looks like a lot of effort is being put into make to sort of redacting or deliberately not using specific names but it looks like planning documents around a scheme to effectively abduct and then murder kidnap whatever people in positions of influence and replace them with douglas your senses that you probably need somebody who really knew what they would. The authorities for want of a better word might be the to actually act on this. Your guess would be that that might actually attract some kind of financial reward or good investigating. These things. yourselves is going to take longer than fifteen minutes. It's going to take priority few hours to sift through but your quick scan. Your sense is that this looks like dynamite. In the right hands yeah. Is there any information that can help us in our fight with them. Give me an intelligence check. I certainly can if you specifically apply yourself to that question ten. You've rifled through the papers trying to work out if you can put together any kind of useful information about what's going on you come up short anybody else. What did we think liberalist option which think purple taking through you. Think that actually the papers if you were to burn them. Assemble them in a particular way and draw lines but it would make a map of the of the cosmos. Excellent that you could sell. Perhaps her as much as one silver piece mary out with the ovary. We still looking that rat. Yeah so i let. Sandra rose a nineteen k alissandria where you skim through them. Let me see now. I think it would be reasonable for you to be able to infer from going through these papers that a there were not that many gang in the gang right. Second thing is there is a figure referred to as t all the way through seems to be the boss and you think that there is something going on whereby this giant plan that it looks like they've been distracted from the plan. Relatively recently at the t had changed their emphasis of their operations quite recently to us. I mean that's what that's what you get okay. And is there any information in there about these weird machines that we saw that guy attached to. Yes there maybe. The occasional oblique reference to whether or not tease apparatus may bring other benefits. If the right people were captured. So some kind of mind. Extractor roy anymore is two hours. I'm going to take taking along. Rest now okay. And you're setting yourselves up to watch the choose my words very carefully. But you're spending your time watching the shaft. Yes okay a half an hour into your long rest yes specifically who is where and who is watching the shaft. And how are they doing. So and i need you to be very specific. I wash show. How are you watching it. Have we felt is a amirah. I will sit on the north side. crouch down low. Yep such a feast tools which is go to mirror on mental mental. Handle right. i use that. Can you give me a perception. Chick sistine on the seventeenth there at the side of the thing about half an hour in you. Hear a splash. Somebody trying to perhaps be quiet on failing to be as quiet as they want to be. It's thirty five feet down and the dog to the surface of the water mirror or no mirror. It's a difficult one. It's beyond the range of your dark vision. You think you can count Ripple memorial kind of disturbance in the city of reflective patent of the water down in the darkness. A little bit and a little bit of a splash. Well i typically else and how qua really are wave of them. You wave emphatically the other hand. Signals had signals pointing. Let's go around the table. everybody have an accident. Each starting with sessions ep. I'm going to move myself to just out onto the platform. Oh yes stepping away from the rim. Yep yep gonna ready and action to toll the dead if i am. Eve agreeably appears within my m site bubble. How i'm going to be silent. Let's give my spells back. But i haven't spoken to line. The candidate has identified. Who's come out. Yeah absolutely no idea could be a fish. Yeah right well. I do have daylight left over killer names because well. We don't want to allow them to the yet. Let's be. I'll sit and do nothing. Asandra going to ready and action to move up and engage a perceived enemy can move on and then a an attack. Anybody anybody anybody. Russian owing case. Well i'm gonna do is. I'm going to move up next to me. A self check twenty-five second k. And then you'll readying uncle buggy just almost often but to the good old days of dozing off. Right i am. I didn't know what to do. I'm worried about another fireball. So what's the optimal distancing. Were run in you. Gotta make a split-second decision. Abbas tell me whether or not you're being caught will are moving to the western edge of the room trying to be caught to cleaner and i'm readying ingham action to attack. Anything that comes with my tried to throw dice. Deepest shaft the ps snuck into that so I have hamilton through my head. You talk you be back pocket. Yes okay can you give me a perception check. Three token my hair little bit more splashing a movement below you. I do have sixty foot vision. Yes in that case. I think even without a decent perception check there was something briefly breaking the surface of the water. And the foot of the rope matter. Yeah the froze and then immersed itself again. Okay either a flash of light from the mirror or a bit of sound from where you are up in the room or something has been picked up. That was your sense okay. I will make hand signals to indicate. They went back down again under the water. Yeah okay which one do next guys. Five minutes goes by ten minutes goes by another sound. I think we should just continue taking rest. Okay well you are undisturbed for the remainder of your rest. Long rest breath. You're not sure what happened but potentially something. What did have a bit of a look noticed that you are still there or somebody was still there in shied away again. Something up and ask him again or it could have been a fish. We move onto the next day. Which is the twenty first fumbling with still in from battery in fumble. When was the day the end of february when the roi was supposed to align and something myspace that happened. Today is the twenty first of february your inspection of the story told you that the next conjunction that was it was during a festival. Misrule misrule is a four day. Festival sits at the end of fumbling right right and on the third day of misrule there is a conjunction between the planets genius and uterus. That's what the jury told you when you wind on and then your sense was to keep winding the handle to the next one. You will get to be there all week and yet so something is going to happen on that right okay so we got a few days until then you have precisely ten days until then right anyway. Don't get distracted by the calendar because as we all know. It sits comprehensive crafted well-crafted on clad. You've ventured down here as dark. So it's actually early hours of the morning i want to do. Thank town we go back down. Yes well in favor guy. Who's leading off. Auger i at. Its under as the broke. Be a bad idea. She's going to on the rope as she goes down. She's gonna looks over to off. Come on can she. Gyro a stealth. Please make sure that i to kind of slide quietly into the water rolling a fourteen case so bad. Yeah and you go park. Standing at the top of the shelf doesn't hear you slip in. Oh okay anyway. I'm sorry said to the bishop. Go one off to the other down the ladder. We're not packed. Carry the rope ladder. Looks like it's in relatively if you remember in particular repair all foot on down ten feet behind okay. Parkas following on and then who's next next k. and then follow view across to the next math. Okay keeping a distance of asandra. Yes you didn't trust. I trust that but she is a probe and if there's a fireball. I don't want to be in the same radius. I you emerge you swim along all you surfacing. I'm suggesting before we get onto. Just they let me go and be the pro busy. Oh come back. I'm gonna take swim around. I'm gonna soon underwater to the ladder. Yes and i'm gonna very into another shit quantities to clean up and eighteen decent role yup just poker head up over the edge. Can she see. She's looking towards the montclair tunnel k. A. you climbing up the ladder to the top. I'm so literally so. I can see water. Level yeah you hear or see any signs of activity but the passageways still that yeah the past is still and from ten feet below it all you can really see is the very first bit of its ceiling and that i will keep climbing up until i can see more yeah. It's a dark passageway receding off to the west. It's quite rough hewn and it's you can't see anything in there okay. I will continue to climb the door in the southern wall off the rim. The one that's the end of the little causeway leading into the main area you had your recent excitements is open. Only open by a couple of inches. I will still make my way up to. It could be another stealth check. And then i'm going to just check him with the others. still check nappies eighteen. Okay okay parker. You were told to hang back. What's are you actually doing. Very very hanged for so long underwater. Without you know. I'm going to swim to the edge of the pool sex. I'm in a position to see what asandra has done. Yes and if anna sandra moves through into the passage by then i will start climbing. Says you're watching. Anna asandra ferral the surface of the water the far side of the pool below the surface. And then the rest of you are following on from parker. So you can see as you emerge from the subaquatic tunnel sessions purple and you can see the parker seems to be treading water above you and you can see some light coming down. Are you following up towards parker to also go into a holding pattern to the base of the stairs the ladder swimming to the base of the ladder and the staying pretty much just peering slightly out of the water can breathe and then put my head under d one to trumpet quite while you do that. Still check twelve. Okay and burp and sessions. What are you doing you hanging around underwater for long as you can or you. I won't get around to the hidden part of the pillar and stick my nose out so you can breathe. You're trying to be quite yes. Yes to give me a stealth check at advantage. I think if you just sticking your math above the water got sake five. So and i guess sessions swimming up to kind of the same sort of ideas berko. Okay you wanna make still check this round our remain under the water. I think i can get my breath for allesandra You've painted up to this doorway. It's open opens a way from you. Stab rushed and it's opened a couple of inches As you did so you heard a sound behind you and the other side of the pet which you think might be one of your friends and at the moment that they made that noise you hear a little bit of intake of breath really quite close to you on the other side of the door i kind of like a opposing breath like a very very very quiet slide of perhaps a soft short against stone your senses that there is something probably go for the two feet from you maybe not directly on the other side of the maybe not leaning on the other side of the door. What would you like to do okay. I'm going to free action. Push the to'reopen as using the door open. Marzena is in the corridor. And she's looking straight at new like she's been watching the door waiting for this to happen She shouts they're here. Yeah around the corner you don't know where to Although you might be able to guess what would you like to do but the rest of your action well Free action to look turnaround. Look really annoyed at the guys who made the noise and then sorry. She's going to go to the end of the corridor poker head round quick. Just poke ahead on back like a dr leslie kinda stuck in your head and back straightaway. You can see marzena. And she's made it to the door on the way to the mirror so into the anteroom before the mirror. She that door which is open. That is all you can see. She's got her back to you. She looks like she's running in terms of the corridor very quickly. All of the doors are closed. Apart from the one that she standing next to so the double doors leading into the area way you found on the charts and the plans the door to the north which you think left some laboratory dole's on the southern wall run along the lead after bedrooms and the double doors of the other end of the passageway which you've not really interacted with the toll that closed as well. That's i mean you want to. Do you want to end your around the yeah. I called ready in action. can i. well everybody's aware so. Let's have initiative relocating. Well righty marife. It to awesome gets full sessions. Seven dean bubble gets a seventeen birth on seventeen zero an eighteen. Okay mosaic road. Full bugger off what you get eleven for graphs. I'm around to make for me so starting with malzahn. Who's at the door. Can you make a perception check at asandra. Seventeen you catch as she goals his at these double doors at the end of the passageway and then docs through the door to the south heading back into the other changes that you've already been to and runs. You can see how running across that antechamber and into the room with mirrors in it and you kind of you new site of justice. She turns through that door. She just turned away but she can. You give me a insight. Check rolling a nine a nine. There was something more to that glance of hers at the door than you. You think she might have basically been rice slightly pantomime ing that glance. The glance those doors Trying to make it look like she was furtively glancing. she left But actually she wants to do that. Okay and it's now up. Parker well not along the causeway swimming up to the night and then basically move action center. Sandra you can run right into that corridor. Can i do like a line of sight. Down that you can see through the door to the antechamber and through the other door into the mirrored room and in the mirror of the mirror grim mosaic running south. But you can't actually draw a line between you and her yes but now it is purple to us the deal getting out of the water. It cost you four squares of movement to get from the water to the top of the ladder and it'll cost you four squares of movement to get to the ladder eighth to get to the top of the ladder. I can just get out of the room. Okay so you're in the corridor behind asandra. Just north of the main corridor sessions. You're in the same situation. Yeah i guess. I will follow you as always us. Bugger off your the base of the ladder with people clamoring of your head. Yes trading on my head like take a breath. It's like a foot just pushes you head. Down to the woods granddad. Any sign of mine down that corridor by the way. There's no nobody has seen anything so far. Okay can i just point we do on my the schoolboy era bunching up for five. Oh not. I would never do that almost looking like it. Don't come out the letter running long running prestige unction into okay into changing rooms. Okay hang on me. And i'm still in the race of fargo would do if there was a fob. Went off right next to you. In between all four of you're you're very convenient and standing on. We think that. I saw oko down the corridor slump standing by the door by the toilet yet. But it's pretty places bancroft. Isn't it within his history. Allah sandra coming in a weedy. Four for who is meant to be the queen of speed and stealth. She's gonna take dash action to here and she's going to take a readied action just to shoot something and for the readers benefit where he spending. I am standing by the door. That small cena went through. Still in the corridor. Okay mozena hawk. You can see in the mirrors that mosaic runs through the door to the south of the mirror chamber and closes the door behind chaps. A we going to run after or are we going to go through and clear this area. Here i seventy. It feels like a trap to me up at the rooms. I yeah yeah you guys can do anything other than i think. The main thing is to make sure we're not going to be talking for attendee far but why just the same as last time. Let me go if you want me to be the probe. Let me be the probe. And i can't be the pro if you are following up. That's why i'm suggesting we through an open although those chambers again there's nothing in that so that we know that that area is cleared out. Let me go in while you're stealthy can get into all that stuff. I mean we would ruin the surprise ones. Let's just then. I mean they were expecting us. Now we're expecting his anyway. I didn't think that was famous. Is the mind flat collaborating. With the hefty testa with the statistics with the double ganger might be somewhere up against well really think. Cut out the fat and the wizard and pull you go often. Do your scouting there. Is this room here that we haven't looked which were that's true. Yeah i am going to go up to the doors. The double doors on the east end of the corridor. And have a nissim. Okay when you do that. The floor gives the niki barker. The floor gives way underneath you. Can you give me a steady say. Dc like it was pretty good exte- nine teen twenty a total of a twenty. You successfully avoid the pit trap. The floor gives way underneath your feet as you step into. That lost ten foot corridor in front of those double doors. Ten the whole ten foot okay. The whole ten foot square in front of those double doors so as you step take your first step and then you feel it for give way on and you just i mean. We're talking about just manage to throw your weight backwards and not topple in the doors. Drop open revealing a pit trap leading down a forty feet making sure i get the right description. And just looking at the right pip. Trump there are so many tramps. Just look for the right one. Subsidy truly sorry hopefully. Yeah that was the other one thirty feet its feet thirty foot drop parker and then they reset almost immediately. They found a spring back up into place. What else are you doing will. Then move back to the easternmost bedroom. And i will go. Listen at that door. You're listening at give me a section fourteen in total. You don't hear anything through that door. And the sound all around ep. Down here in through the door yup k from the door. It's empty right the door. But the risk the doors in fact full of door completely philadel- right from the beginning to the end while not now because he's opened the door and never never the door. That's not get into what would you like to do. I will move up to the east. My store six and this and that it yeah getting a twenty three no sounds and then we'll open it and the room is empty. Keg around dole says shit Well they've left them behind. So i will move up to the side of the door into the water chamber and shut it behind us. I then i will. I will ready tumbling dice on bad guys. I see and then it is. Uncle buggy consumed to have my sort out. Yes he could be seem to. Have you sold out okay. So moving forward towards the double doors that lead into the office. Yes interacting with an update on opening pairings. Anybody in there. Yes has just put in that just waiting on the other side of the desk in the office as you open the door. He goes sacre. Hello this you and a burning kind of streak. Fine emits from the tip of his finger shoots past your ear but graft thousand eight in the middle of the corridor behind you equidistant. Between you and parker do they go round corners. These things graham is nominated they do okay. So sessions twenty foot radius. Surely it's not gonna. Is it gonna get us well. Let's put the. That's the thing on that. It might not see what happens. Boom off goes the fireball. It catches bugger off. Purple parker and sessions. Can you all give me dc. Fifteen dexterity saves please dc fifteen six my bearing dangerous since so i see you get. Oh that's not a good role from a fish. Gets a ten in total ought dice. Twelve twelve from sessions dice eight from bourbon. They ought dice. Which means he's gonna roll another d six. He can't make any eight. How mike he's first thing. I'm gonna use my. Can i have my redaction for. Does it to roll that s. Because he did say graft yeah. He had already action and i had already. Yeah it's whether how we collapse the readied action wave. Yes you're doing. You're ready to action for that door. Scholley thing you're watching the door. What watching something coming in the door. And the other colorado. I think that it was reasonable to say the majority of your attention on the door. You're next to you certainly. What was implied in your ready to action was that you are watching for that door. Yes by the letter of the law. You said that you were watching and that if anything came out you were going to shoot it. yes oh. I think that you can have your shot. I just don't think that you're going to interrupt campus. Why don't we resolve it once. We've resolved the fogle. Okay five both. Dc fifteen year dc fifteen. Yes say the sessions made his save using his lock using his which. I should have done last time. I think parker. I made my save using my thais burp dice but still failed to save. Yeah an uncle buggy. Can i take my bonus section before he fires his thing. Frady can't know his reaction. Try that nice. Try his readied action interrupts your turn at the instant of the trigger it so tell me about your savings right. I can't say twelve. The first one can i said that. So fail and critically Say okay so. Let's roll the dice. Pummel this guy into the ground. I'm telling you k- i got the chance if you ever get your and this is the thing isn't it but we got cornered now. Yeah i'm gonna he's toast get up to okay so rolling eleven d even more now six now. It was the same as last seventy six. He does windfall a token points of damage safety half so nineteen. If you save thirty eight am fail now on asandra they go last like your head flips around us your radio action to ping an arrow down the corridor through the burning fossil past parkers if passed purple past bug graft and into tested pod or somebody. That looks like you didn't really know who has just to put is by the way i'm asandra. Yes it's very. very difficult. Shot is with the crossbow which got a range of thirty miles max. One twenty so it's to range. Increments over thirty s. Disadvantage over thirty is a disadvantage. I is twenty six and then rolly other. Oh just twenty. Six is going to be good enough. Twenty seven with the natural twenty is a hit. Do you wanna gumbel alexandra your show. I don't know if you take the lower one. Mike's new to the game. He hasn't got with the fucking rosa. Okay well it's still good enough so he eight points of pissing damage. No sneak attack it fail to actual damage will an actual person that you don't like is still a positive thing bugger off. You'll still moving right. So i moved up. I'm going to bash. I'm raging and i'm going to bash to attacks texas my adequate sort So into this fifteen is a mess. Next one is twenty six. That is hit. Thirteen pointed a marsh. That's very nice can do much when he looks a bit. You know you've you've definitely heard with that are asandra on. It's going to take a dash action to begin with so that new thirty. Then she's going to move action should enable her to move thirty and then she's to a nother short but this is within range. It's an arm close. Twenty-three hit doing ten points of pissing damage twenty points. Oh you're right. Sorry is a sneak attack because janis within funniest attacking twenty points of piercing damage slum to off them capacity sentence months. Sarah dot graft. Who is this. Who is this person you brought with you. She's us very aggressive and polka. Well palko who move up to the door and will do the fist of unbroken requiring him to do a dc thirteen strength saving throat. he fails at saving. Oh that's lovely. He takes three d ten damage plumbing. T points down. He is knocked up to the war. Needs pro kaz to stumbled. You could help help an old friend up from okay. Well let's stop bashing giving blood. Do i hear myself or do. I hit only levin. He's taken twenty. Forty mcgrath fifteen or something. I'll do a distant whispers on him. Yeah he gets wisdom. Say i'm gonna do it at only safety can make. Okay yep but you say that. It's a d. c. twenty seven wisdom safe finally a save. You could make wisdom say dc fourteen k. Level he makes save is that it. Does he take any damage. Yes he takes half of this. So seven point seven points of damage. Okay thank you very much. Thank you very much steps into the room and shuts the door Session zepa decisions. I think will step down to the main passageway then. He'll a tumbling dice on an pretend. Testy wisdom zave dc fourteen. He makes sense. Save very annoying. This stores open yet the for our readers. The dole the park and looked into the park through open. Yeah yes. I'm going to step into that room. A bedroom yeah next. It is has detested pot. He's laying on the ground. It takes him fifteen feet of movement to stand up then he oh he case rent. This little little is a flicking back was enforced like a cornered ferret. Hello my name beck. Graft he say hello to migrate sold to think about a taxable for tuna fish. I mean does he really want to use the other one of his three when he's just you one three. There's one thing for sixty one three. He does okay so he's gonna cost a spell. Can parker allesandra bug raft. Can you give me dc. Fifteen will saving throws please. Wisdom saving throws. I'm i is well cleaned of transmutation spill not a charm. Not anything like that. Not a fear effect. If that's what you're fishing for sixteen wisdom got a twelve twenty nine thousand nine hundred total okay. Only alissandria as affected by a slow spell. Take him on to penalty to cross six. Thirty seven thirty reactions. You can either use an action or bonus action but you can't use you can only one attack around whatever happens and your speed is hard. He was hoping that he was going to get bugger off in and then would not draw sacrifice unity but it didn't. He sent a stay where he is. And we go on to buck raft on eleven buggies gonna these adequate suit right. This twenty four is a hit fouteen partners for the first hit. Yes the second one. An eighteen is a hit seventeen boys at age. Seventeen points total. Yes wow okay. He's looking very very unwell. it's surrender. there's a kind of ripple by graft hasty looks at you just briefly. Kind of flicker in the mosque like a grave as you. Just get an instant. This is a great creature that you can certainly see. It's like an easy. It's back to history again and sit a staggering back from me alexandra. So i can't move. An attack can only attack who move. That's right. Roy moore will home go measure terror carriage sheet around them to an attack with groesbeck. Commerce clause eighteen. Exactly what you needed doing. Seven points a pissing under the four points of sneak attacks. Were living points of damage. This thing is teetering polka out. Asandra you hear a noise behind doing the corridor purple. You can hear the noise to through the door and sessions. It seems quite close to you. Marzena has stepped out of the door that she ran through originally. And she's behind you in that corridor poker. It's your turn finish him. You think yes. I could finish her. Okay okay. i'll finish. I will move to north of him and i got antidote to the poison given this chou is the worst possible metro on end of you. Well i've answered attorney less. You want to gamble pocket gonna come both gamble back. Is it worth the receipt. Can you next not toys neier. Is it worth the gamble. Yes thank you this okay so if you miss again you have to draw critical. God yes i know we get it see what happens or something that just turns that critical to amiss tonight second attack. Oh this class. Nine machine keys. After all i've done for you miss and miss me. The next one is an eighteen. that's more like the a twenty four much damage name. That's eight points of damage. Still one more. I believe that twenty is a hit. And nine points at dammit. Oh come on you. Put your fist through his face. Yes it comes up knuckles on the wall and it collapses to the floor. It's a gray smooth skinned monstrosity. Lloyd presumably mouth. Cena sees this happen from where she standing park. A bug graft and asandra on this creatures forehead there is a distinctive symbol I'm bugger off. You recognize it. It's the coiled tentacle. Simple that you saw on the giant belt buckle the mind flyer okay lovely so is it. Control is being controlled by the mind. This is getting into the realm of speculation craziness. Anyway of my move is going to move into that corner at the poll. It's your turn we are getting into the last nibbles of this bomb visually. I'm going to heal myself. Cube in second-level sessions quite understandable. You know that there's some sound from the code. Your north i. I will yes okay. I'm going to step out tumbling dice on mars. Ena wisdom safe she. She wounded after seem not. She's not ended night. I can't nine points. Nine points. The damage i k- yet with that still seems to affect the not gonna move cross. The cargo opened the door. Yes and i'm going to use my bonus action which is my cold turkey shadows cloak shadows to go invisible. Our press myself against the wall that would have been. Sdbo friend and mentor. But parker is for some reason decided to take against him and destroy. It said it is buck roughed running through the talk so well through the double doors into the corio assisting orion my tried and of returning you. Just be waiting today. There's some there's a hit nine the thing is does it insult pair my hand. Can i throw it again. And other action. s s s. Yes if you can make two ranged attacks in a turn but you can. I wrote a one. But i'm a hope it some running again Corolla so missed. Can you save. That was very sandra. Am i still slow to now. That has these dead concentration spell. It was a concentration so brilliant. She's gonna do a dash action and then she's going to do a move action and then she's going to do an attack connection jay and the first time ever she will do the crossbar point blank. Range yes. I think the attacker knew. Okay i'll take it. That submits an eleven miss and then all with the rapier yup close twenty which is a hit doing eleven points of pissing. She spins round hisses at you and strikes with her slam attack. she hits alma class. Twenty two you'll be. I attack doing a total of six points damage. Our the second tank she hits amish class eighteen. That's a hip doing a further seven points at damage and now it's pakistan by won't just do a produce flooding applause twenty three. That's a hit nine points damage. Buffalo bob is gang to step out into the corridor and will do love discipline whispers so wisdom safety see she rolls and not enough okay so she takes nevin points damage and has to run a use of reaction to run away. She runs through the door away from you and a sandwich. Duck hopes unity. June off cost ten. Miss sessions will move just behind alexandra. Yes just run through the antechamber into the able tumbling dice on her. She makes a saving throw so we say yet fails now. I get trouble yes. She's been windy to fifteen she staggers. She's running away from you Bug graft i can move up to the door. Can i fight through my try through it to think over the line of sight. She's a standing in the doorway of the other thing. Yeah you can throw you tried and tried and so first one is a second one is a much better. Oh sixteen a hit. Thirty six and a d eight. Yes seven plus your strident spears through the head of marzena and as she collapses to the ground she reverts to her slick gray monstrous oid four and you have defeated the dog gangs of the sudden. Hold what do you want to do your sort of given free rein. Now i would say that door to. The pool searched the place and then searched the place. Okay we got our. Yeah yeah well you know about the pit traps in the main room. Yeah we know. There's apparatus complex. You might wanna grab a couple of pieces of it to take it to somebody who might know what they were doing. It's too big to move the whole thing. It looks like there's also the room to the eastbound. The pitra spent a little bit time. Investing those doors pretend doors okay so eliane. All of the bedrooms are pretty much uninteresting. They seem to have every type of clothing the basically their cost you and changing rooms clearly the doppler gangs were using a quick change and you can kind of see how one of the very quickly cobbled together a cuff but like costume the planning room. It's called the rim of tables in it where just defeated the bias. Well was it has. Is it really talk that you think you've basically taken everything value and interest from that room now. The rim with the apparatus in it the big throne room. That apparatus is too big move put in a holding. It's too big firm can get it through the opening of the bag of holding otherwise. There's nothing in theory to stop doing that. That is it where it with a bag of holding anybody know anybody grand piano and a bag of holding or deny him. You have to be able to get through the and so you think it's something to do with. They seem to be gems. That look like they're some sort of storage or battery device. They rest on plinths. That are connected by snaking cables that run to this head thing. St was wearing a quite sure how that works. You thought the best thing to do might be to find somebody who knows what they're talking about and get them down here. It's not like you're in the middle of nowhere. Can we sketch it. Yeah you can take the sketches of what you can find and you could take a couple of pieces samples of the equipment. Yeah you find at the back of the throne a secret door that sits just to the side of the throne an opening it reveals a secret chamber it is filled with very ostentatious accessories and the little layer or secret remove a very vain. Shallow person And it turns out to be paul's house. Oh there's bed a wardrobe. There's a desk. There's a small table. The walls of covid enrich red velvet curtains the turn out not to be traps. There is a strange rug on the floor. Where the patents. Keep changing as you look at it. There was a large mirror in one corner. That rug you think is magical much more than it's doing. There's a chest when you search which of course you do and don't forget to do He has got a k- on. I wouldn't put it both. He has got a key on him which opens the chest in that room when he sort of run through all of its forms all of this equipment all the stuff that he was sort of somehow subsumed into his forms. What kind of crashes out of him. There's a plus one frost greater ex. He has a plus to ring of protection who he has a warned of cure. Moderate wounds with happy stick written down the side and he has a key and the key opens the chest in his room. Which more well no not really. It's got lots of very fine clothing and about five hundred gold pieces worth of jewelry. The only other thing that you find tucked away in the corner is a there's a scroll of dominate person. And there's a scroll with a little message on it and the message reads. I have a task for you. Meet me at the sewer junction beneath the cold forge. And i will give you the details. There are some troublesome small mines that must be removed and the document is signed with that same spiraling tentacle symbol. That is on. This guy's forehead was on the belt. Buckle all the mind flyer says the wife is in control and as you look through all of this equipment and all of this treasure and you learn more about what has been going on you realize that is of course the day of the twenty first day of february and on the day of the blessing of descends upon you and you are elevated level things week. Does it do anything. Depending hilltop holocaust is ability production. Dungeons and dragons is a trademark of the whole of options in asia. Went to popeye's posh. Affections is richard jason. Bateman music is who kevin macleod's and incompetent dot com is used with thanks under the creative commons license. The digital music and sound effects come from the wonderful cyrus game all other original material is copyright bellowing hilltop role playing games all about getting people together and we use role twenty tabletop. The puppet master. Who's your game and his chat. Thanks for listening.

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Maureen From Quarantine Interview and discussion on Gentility and Self-Love with Special Guest - Saundra Cindy Blum -Author - 'Footsteps Through the Sands of Time'

Maureen From Quarantine

46:19 min | 3 months ago

Maureen From Quarantine Interview and discussion on Gentility and Self-Love with Special Guest - Saundra Cindy Blum -Author - 'Footsteps Through the Sands of Time'

"Yeah well hey. World is maureen from corentin. And how is everybody just wanted to ask. Put that out there and check in and send out the love and the light and all that great energy and introduce my very very special guest ms. sandra cindy bloom. And sandra is the author of several books and one of them will be discussing here. And i'll be giving information on her others. Her books are all about the beautiful energy in the world and one of them in the footsteps through the sands of time and she discusses their past live dramas and present life lessons and so today. We're discussing self love and gentility. And i thought that was such a beautiful just beautiful topics that she chose to discuss and just so important and obviously a great foundation for everything and so you can imagine the love that goes into her work and so not only is she the author but she is also a great energy minner extraordinaire. I've named her that because she's just filled with great energy and as you'll see again one of the true even gentle souls and of course she is a perfect fit for this podcast because again. We are all about the solution here. And indeed ms. Sandra cindy bloom is all about the solution and living in creativity and so she also discusses in her books of the synchronicity. And we'll learn more about that in this upcoming episode. We talk about gratitude and forgiveness and all those beautiful tools including meditation without further. Ado here is ms sandra cindy bloom. Special guest work to. We're clear we're cool. Oh and i need to get me. I need to get me some sage. Actually the follow santos sticks. They smell better than sage. But i also had his sage spray. So i you're onto the world stage little house on i had somebody do for more. Where do you get yours. Well you can actually order them. I it's funny as it sounds from amazon. Which i've done on occasion when i couldn't find a new eight shop if i'm in and around any little new age shots are bookstores. Whatever that carry it. I usually will pick up some That extra okay. Yeah i did gets find some. And then i found a couple of Is it pal. We pronounce it palo santo. Yes yeah i found some candles which were kind of called to for that. And then i like to. Yeah like in the morning. You know we. I always spray the linens and and then i. They opened the door to allow fresh air in an open the windows and at least twenty minutes of that too oxygenating. Everything sounds great. Doesn't it yeah. And then the whole bed is like renewed and refreshed everything even if it's just sim. Bollock is sort of kind of cool. Each day is a new beginning that bring us and so without further ado. I'm blabbing on here. But i wanted to. Just thank you. thank you for being here. Welcome welcome cindy blooming. Cindy bloom cindy sondra great energy emitter extraordinaire and again. It's better clarify with you again. The name sondra which is beautiful essay u. n. d. r. a. And sondra cindy or simply cindy remember. I talked to you about the movie the other day from carnal knowledge with jack. Nicholson how about cindy and sandy. That's ready accept them. Both eating or about cindy and sandy. Okay good and i you know your title the book. I love your book And footsteps footsteps footsteps through the sands of time. And of course it sands maybe have to do with sandy. No not really but you know i. I always think when. I'm doing my war. The past life work at you know that little bottle that hourglass guillano in the stands run through it. You know that could be a whole lifetime and we keep changing them up so it felt right. I felt right. It sounds like i remember back in the day. I wonder if it's still running sands of time. Such are the days of our lives remember. Yes yes yes yes like the hours and what was this something something to that extent like the hours time in an hourglass yes and i do think that our but i had there are others. I have to say who have used that title so might addition to that was passed like dramas present life lessons so that was a that way. I was able to use that In combination together. I love that. There's a beautiful fleetwood mac song to the sands of time. It's beautiful yeah calls to mind and yes all those other beautiful energy i think is timeless including the music or the show or whatever it is that you know And even now this that energy it seems to be now. You're you're great with the beautiful energy in the world. Thank goodness it. So so such a pleasure to talk with you and to put out your beautiful energy in the world. You're such a great part of the solution in the world. Cindy and as argue or issue. I am and so be it right absolutely right something about that. The light honestly the goodness really shining through and and especially the verdict yesterday with george floyd case senate brought such tears of release and just yet. Doesn't it feel like there's an synergy taking place on a global scale universal scale absolutely absolutely. There's a real. I felt a real shift happen It just went my core Tolerance and intolerance and just that. This is so long overdue and why it's taking so long to get there with this item understand it Now i loved that A metric it was the daughter who said that we're all children of god. You know might take a long for people to get that. Yeah now doesn't matter what color what shape we are in but now culture we are. We're all the same. We're all children of god. There's not one that's loved more than the other and it's time for us to understand that the and she said daddy's changing the world and we think of like you. And i always talk about the angels in the sky remember You and i saw that gorgeous angel in the sky we were out in the beautiful nature. They're doing that walk. And yes there is angels in the sky and and this one was literally it. Wasn't it yes. It was the that cloud formation and have been more exactly clouds we can there are signs everywhere and and just in her saying that think of even the symbolism of daddy like you said the the whatever you want to say that it's it's maternal its patriarchal. It's it's that Ever-present energy that we are. All one was and and to see that in the kids and that knowing that that her her dad's energy is alive and well. And you're the expert on that on on That sense of angels and the the past lives in the present life lessons and so that's it you know and i now we were talking that For may thing that has come up again and again lately Or those who come to me to find their lessons. It's been about self love and as we talked earlier. You know this is the most important part of life that we have to get an learn Because everything stems emanates from our love of self energy attracts like energy. If we don't love ourselves we're gonna keep attracting people to us. Don't love us either and we can't be there for others. They're not loving us and we're not loving ourselves until we can get into that place of understanding that we are perfect child got now. We've come here only to learn these lessons. And i know it's hard. They don't make the season he announced. Learn but You know many people you know if you ask anyone on the street you love yourself you know almost everybody else say yes and a follow up with well do you put yourself on the back burner and everyone else. I and Yes and within you. Don't up yourself being men. It's like putting on your on the airplane where you have to take care of yourself first before you can take your child you know and We it's that way in the world. We have to take your results first before we can take anybody else and and people say well. What is athlete likes upload meditate yoga. That's wonderful that self care. That's part of soft la but what the universe keeps showing me with. My work is that it's more important even than that self care. I should say more important part of that but the real part they want us to get is that it's not okay for anyone to disrespect us in any way not okay for anyone to abuse us at anyway. It's not okay for someone to take our our way in any way and that we need to use our voice were given. We're very lucky. That incarnated in the united states or we have a lot of freedoms Even though sometimes it's hard to see that but we do have the freedom of speaking voice and that's a big part of our self. Love is being able to use their voice to say. I'm sorry. I love myself too much to allow you to treat me this way And therefore we take our power back that way of respecting ourselves enough not let that person treaters that way but were also teaching that person that their behaviors. Okay that they have to change that in order to be with us and Respect us the way we deserve that we were all worthy of love and respect and kindness and that support we have to really embrace Said come here you know in this slide choosing Parents or family members or friends or people in our life who make us feel unworthy man. We probably had our past lives as well and you know. It's only so that we can i that so we can say no. You're wrong. I'm not unworthy i am worthy. I am good i. I'm moving being. And i deserve to be treated that way It's it's a hard one because we're you know we're on were so beaten down. It's hard to come back up but once we do it and we take our power back. There's no turning back you know. It feels so good and we feel so good about our own growth and the universe is. They're plotting us say yay she's getting it. I love that and we keep getting tested along the way now like okay. Here's another situation what he'd been egypt. That's in this field reminiscing your pattern of allowing people to use do when we recognize that. It's like oh okay here it is. So here's my opportunity to take my power back again Very good and i. I noted that You know the true gentle people I love that you also talk about gentility and self love because the too gentle souls are always always the strongest and then the powerhouse and and coming from that place of stability You know i was that with the hostility point one finger three pointing back you know. They're pointing a finger at you and like you said insulting or abusing in the three zero was pointing back at them and The tenderness and that gentility is such a great sign of of self love. We love ourselves enough to live in that place of peace to give your heart which is great for the immune system and so it goes out from their dozen it and of course as parents you know to surround ourselves with that gentle love that that and it's it's beautiful isn't it so peaceful so nice came to blame ourselves for a lot of things that people have told us we're to blame ourselves for And this is the gentility place. We need to be to be gentle with ourselves now. This isn't life fall in our or maybe it is my fault but i'm gonna do better next time. I'm not going to beat myself up here now. This isn't about punishing myself in any way. This is about the gentle rick myself and learning what i need to learn and empower myself by that you know to be able to move on me with the world. You know you're not I wish i could remember her beta saying but you know anyone with a smile may also have great sadness within them. You know Anyone you know we all have something worker to work on. Not one of us has come here with that. That and So we have to be gentle with each other to now that we're all trying so hard to work on our stuff you know and that they need that tenderness as well as we do yes and just. There's so many great songs too. I love the old bijou song. Fanny be tender with my heart. You know and it's a great place to go to. The music stings strong fragile. And how fragile we all are. And then we are better equipped to perhaps understand motionlessly when we can sophon a bitten. Listen to some music. Obviously a time and place for everything. If you're driving down the street and someone's roaring at you you know and cheating finger and you know all kinds of hostility in the world not always easy right to stay in that place The self love is is hopefully present but the place of gentility you know when there seems to be a deliberate attack a attack. Let's say or abusive scenario taking place. You know man. Sometimes it does feel like deja vu. You know some something that we're reliving or something. In the present life for but the deja vu the experience another great song dionne warwick but right what he. What do you make that deja vu feeling. Well many different theories one of them can be past lives that we have been there before in done that before Another theory is that we're living past president future at the same time Another theory is that It's kind of this holographic sequence a life going on at the same time There i'm not you know. I don't know for sure when you know which it is. Maybe all of the above but you know an one more theory was that our soul leaves our body in goes to where we're going before we get there to make sure it's a safe place and to know where we should be and where we should stand or what we need to do And it could be that solas remembering before you know we get to go back to the same place again mom so some. Mary's yeah Yeah there's so many. And for some reason i guy went to the place of in with the deja-vu that that beautiful song beautiful lyrics i i love music because of the emotion the it's it's something about is universal and it filter feeds the soul the the dialogue or the the the words are something to the extent of. It seems. We've stood in talk like this before. But i can't excuse me but i can't remember where or when i think that's the name of the song and you the smile you are smiling then and it's this kind of as a feeling where it's a hauntingly beautiful emotion and is that sense of Maybe deja vu might sound trite or new age. But the truth is there's a it's a beautiful place to feed the soul of. Oh i know this. Or i know and there are signs or even that Even our ever. Since my mom i died i sense. You know her presence and my daughter's birthday is not too far from hers. And there's just feelings and emotions of oh and then it calls to mind Of memories or ooh. That was a sign you know. Sometimes it's it comes to me through music sometimes or the arts or or a word or like an angel in the sky Happening and as we talked about even the energy happening now it's reminiscent of beautiful souls. We have loved and known through throughout our lives. Which never ever leave us does it. The love is always eternal. isn't it absolutely absolutely and you know it's funny when we talk about signs with I kind of giggle it when people do spine signs. You know like my sisters said she. Would you know send us a sign of being a butterfly takao and so whenever we see a minor butterfly here. My niece say mom's here you know we're not that better than she's not the butterfly cheapie. Send that sign me now. It's real that's the thing. I know i get almost like the hairs on my arms. Stand up straight. There's a feeling energetically that happens where we can't we don't necessarily even have to put into words. It's a knowing it's even a wonder. If or i believe it's i got it and there's a. There's an inner smile of that sense of. I see you baby. You know what they mean absolutely absolutely and their essences their wits with that sign. You know which is so nice to know that they're around us and and even generating all the cells helping us with the self love so that there's not that angst in sorrow and and i know you know there's a lot of obviously in the world now grief and suffering and anxiety and depression and Lost a lot of laws and so it's important to have a place to go to or a net that any of us has a you know a genuine fact you know. We don't know the facts that we're not completely clear on what happens with You know grief and loss but there's a sometimes there's a goto in other words. How do we all deal differently with loss But i have a a place that i love to go to is the place of love and filling up with that unconditional love and i know you talk about lessons But it's also that sense of okay not just this too shall pass but to allow ourselves in this moment with whatever understanding we we have to just be and to feel and to experience that into not let as you know as you. I know there are people that say you need to get over this. Or you're still on that or you know and even with what's going on in the world with the verdict where we're crying relief in tears of joy because like you said it's been decades in the making of this loss this grief this horror and it's symbolic of okay. At least this is a step in the right direction. And you know we can all personalise this on our own level. But i do. I even now see They're they're happening in. This is a yesterday. I heard even on skid row in los angeles this is. They're offering homeless every single homeless person. It's a law now. The city and the state to offer them a place to live. And so there's a shift as you mentioned taking place in of the love going out there. 'cause i know every time i see or walk by the homeless. There's a feeling maybe of a blue of loss but but that ouch that grief that we talk of an and it's different for each things and other words we grieve over so many different Scenarios and the pain so For the healing. You know you always talk about you. Your book talks about healing. And i love someone you have so many great lessons there in the end. Do you have a particular You know way of dealing with or walking through the grief loss. The things we talk about in the world I everything i approach in. This life is about you all come away and say okay. What was that about. What am i supposed to learn through this process. and When you were just talking about that and and these poor people on the street It reminded me of a book that i read on rethink. It was by women. Betty eadie raghad along near death experience and had come back to tell about it and she said that when she crossed that she saw herself walking jesus and that she was asking him all these questions and shade remembered off his answers and the one that stood out to me. The most Was the one she said. What about all these homeless people. All these people who you know have taken drugs or you know or alcoholics. Were on the streets here you know. Why would you allow something like that. And he looked at her and he said well. These are highest. Sol's who wins side to come here and go through that without it. Being at the highest level of teaching entity about compassion. Beautiful and i was always stayed with me. It was like when i pass them by now. May under my breasts thank you. That's a beautiful. Yes and to send out. That's that's a. That's a great goto as well. What because we're a so. Many people are at a loss of what to quote. Do and sometimes it's just we be. There is not necessarily something we do to quote. Get over it. I've had people say to me when i've gone through you. Know the the big league law stuff but you know one people say again No excuse for abuse but some people they just don't know any better but saying you gotta get over this or you and and it's not that at all. It's the sense of what we can do. Is shift gear shift perspective. Send out love and it all begins with the are great topic here the self love from this place not that narcissistic all about me plays as you and i know. It's not that it's a different. It's the when. Whitney houston was singing about learning to love. Yourself is the greatest gift of all. It's that love. That's that that beats our soul and and cherishing our own humanity. So that we we do go out from there and we do see others. We see the homeless. We see those suffering. We can as you said. Say thank you and send out love and it's real that energy and it does shift rather from that lower energy. Plays of all about me ego toxicity. resentment jealousy all those things but to rise up with the love. It's that simple word. Isn't it simple but not not always easy right when we're in pain or with the borderline tragedy was not too far from where i live. Where those Kids were shot and a lot of the kids showed up at the Memorial and this was just before the pandemic broke out and the fires there was so much tragedy boom boom boom after the other. And just when you stand up. And i own. Sometimes a lot of us can personalise as we stand up and then we're not back down again and like you said so many lessons right and then you wonder. What is the lesson here But i remember They were sharing To the young kids there that a lot of them had never ever experienced loss or grieve and didn't know where to go or what to do with this and sadly a lot of people don't make it through because they think it will always be this way and i remembered the simple words of the I think it was the priest sharing from the podium. Saying you will smile again. You will smile again this in other words this too shall pass whatever it is and a this moment. And that's why i love your of the the book the sands of time in the hourglass this moment even like a drop of sand in this in this precious moment where our breath is. This is where that answer is. That solution is that perspective is and it's one of us talking to another you. And i sharing that great love and reminding one another about the self love so that we can go out enough to see others to share that to be the one to be the one that's driving down the street sharing a smile. Perhaps and i love what you were talking about with the kids. You know where where do you got. What do you do with this and it brings me back to that place that if each person asked that question of what am i taking away from this. What am i learning from this and for one person it might be go out and get very involved in activists in gun control. You know another person. It might be to see how precious life is and to embrace their family in a closer way another one might be you know we all have a lesson that we come away with. All of our stories are so different so all our lessons will be so different and You know if we can find that lesson in that moment whenever these moments are then it becomes a very rich experience you know we just go through the motions and we come away and we just keep getting angry and upset or not moving or changing Then we'll keep getting these kind of lessons to stir us enough to make changes you know what however they are usually. They're in a very positive way. You know to come away from something that's given us grief loss you now maybe brings us closer to the ones who are still here. You know for me now When there's definitely does that. I you know i feel so much closer to my family. Who are here you know in my friends And i want to help those who are suffering. You know to help them find their piece in their their lesson in it but it all stems back to love lovers the biggie. That's what we're all here for and south la orlov of each other You know that's really what it's all about. It's so true i loved. They referred to the verdict yesterday and the attorneys and all of the spirits that came together to make this happen this life force for good in the world. They called it the bouquet of humanity. I love that he exactly embracing our humanity and and coming from that place of Sensitivity vulnerability the gentility With the self love and to consistently remind one another and that i there's a little hummingbird i think i shared with you to that. Had little tiny eggs little babies outside. And i think wou- how tender is nature. How tender there. I went to the title again. The beautiful fitzgerald fitzgerald tender is the night i love good titles but how tender is the night too but tender something about that word to gentility and birds can help us. Go to this place of Tenderness and south la or the visual of the humming bird and gathering nece. And what a great. I watch her as a mother just a matter. Sure her little. The little eggs are okay and And this is also a great way to share with our kids as mothers. That goes out from there. The kids experience When we're As you were talking about taking care of the ourselves i They say the best gift you can give. A child is to love their mother and To embrace the mother so that then the mother we go again we go out from there and to be of service and and beginning under our own roof with our kids and then we go out as you said and consent. Thank you As we walk by and can actually see others and and be present For the ever present moment you know and so so much. I'm sorry i ona It was just gonna say there are so many who did not have mothers and whose mothers were abusive to them But we can come out. One of two ways from matt and neither perpetuate that abuse as we go forward in like or we can change and say. I'm going to be like her. I'm gonna be very loving to my children and to those around me and we hope it's the second you know But it's also bad. I know we talked a little bit about forgiveness. You know those who have had those difficult. Mother is her parents Or abusive people in their lives. Being a being able to forgive and let go of that and for me forgiveness is about not condoning the acts of what they've done but of releasing them from having to played their roles for us any longer and releasing ourselves from having to be the victims and that way we can let it go because that way you know we still are not condoning not act but were. We don't need to play those roles any longer with them. You touched upon a great topic to or the word victim and we don't have to quote play that anymore because for often times that's the go-to and once we realize you know that whatever the expression there are no victims only volunteers In other words we don't have to sign on for toxicity. We can as you mentioned at the beginning of the podcast. The episode that Each week and say and i think you even prefaced it with the words. I'm sorry it's not okay to treat me that way. I don't even know about fang. I'm sorry i'm not sorry there. You know what. I mean. Because i'm irish right so i get a little bit. Put a little hood there. Don't you mess with me right right right. I sent jozy when we get to. That place for combative You know we'd lose our power more. Can it's being able to stay grounded in that place of i am right. Tom curry. you don't see that in. no. I'm i'm telling you that we cannot have a relationship or conversation until you give me the utmost respect named after that we can do more that i love from your book you said due to our disrespect to each other and the earth. I love that you wrote that. We are suffering. It's the disrespect yet and the earth. Absolutely we have done a terrible job to this for mother. Earth of ours And it's time. I mean she working for now you know and it's time. Thank god. Things have shifted politically so that we ain't much more attention to what we need to try to salvage what we can you know and i got a very hopeful Email this morning about being involved. It was a native american raining back the earth to her natural place and how we can do that and about the oceans in the physician helping to keep all that clean. You know. disturbed me so You i gotta get out there. And do what i can out this earth. You know I knew recommended that great documentary. I did watch it. Oh it was the oh it was called. Was it called my octopus teacher. Yes this teacher yes. That was wonderful. Yes wasn't that just now. We're all one you know. And we're one with our planet or one but the animals and the trees and nature and the love that man but out there and respect for that octopus was given back to him. And i think that's so christmas to hold of how energy attracts that like energy. Isn't that so true across the board with the animals and and a around the universe. I note today or tomorrow. There's another meteor shower and when we look up sometime you know keep your eyes on the horizon so to speak symbolically and literally. We look up and go. Wow look there's a meteor shower tonight to kinda check in with nature is is a very cool thing to do and and to really delvin and to be open for the infinite possibilities and i know our time has has gone over here and i know i want to thank you again but i wanted to ask a quick question too about. I know you organized a workshop for edgar the edgar casey institute. What was that like Was actually out. Empowerment power was lenny years ago and It was about Not being the victim. Caning our back and Speaking voice and speaking our voice you know is a big empowerment for when people try to take our voice away and and try to take power away and that was really with. The workshop was funny enough because it was so many years ago. Probably about fifteen years ago or more so you know we still needed to do it then and we still need to do it now. okay and then the there's a science behind what you do to. Is there a way. Or how would you describe that Basically using hypnosis to bring people back to the root of whatever their issues are be fierce phobias anxiety depression even physical ailments relationship issues. And it's leading our subconscious. Mind where all that started Sometimes brennan's is back in your childhood here and most of the time it rains us back to pass like joins. And even if you don't believe in reincarnation or pass lives Their stories and the nice thing is that these stories once we could release the emotional energetic blocks at these stories carry. That's when the healing happens and it's beautiful to witness The healing is very deep level. And doesn't come back that energy so it's a permanent healing as well. Isn't that great. And the is there a particular. I know you've got footsteps through the sands of time which is great the That book and what are some of the others that would apply here. I mean all of the the main thing would be to send if we can send people to your website to Would that be. Would that be endre. Essay u. n. d. r. a. Cindy sandy why blooming beyond um Dot com. everything's in bloom see. We're in synchronous city and as you say in your book. Synchronicity right nine under nine coincidence. Is that what you call it. Exactly dances in You know and here. We are in this spring when everything's in bloom and you have so many great there's just so many The lessons and quotes and and Thing references to go to an all beautiful energy The obviously the self love but all those great words that we embrace like you said in the gratitude and we're we're so tapped in to that love and the self care and so thank you for that too and are there any you you can give us and hopefully all come back. We could go on. And on. And i know our time's gonna but yeah hopefully it. Yes we please come back and alighted good. Okay what would be some good self care techniques to put out there to our listeners. Well i think one of my favorite self care. Pieces is walking in nature blue. Yeah when i feel stressed or I had difficulty with certain people Just go out and take a walk in nature and it grounds knee and feel the love of all that energy around me at universal So that's one way. Whatever suits you take a bubble bath you now or whatever makes you feel good. Read a good book. Put your music on you know and and let it soothe you. Meditations wonderful Talked to a really good friend. Do you know anything that brings you joy you now is the love and most of all again not letting anyone treat you poorly in any way that is not acceptable at is definitely not south plumbing now in. Do you have a particular technique for your meditation. sometimes use visualization. And sometimes. i'll just do work on breaths breathing in breathing out and just focusing on that lending that take me and sometimes i do raking meditation S so i. I do different different types of that nation's i kinda like stir it up a little bit. Yeah then there are. Some much of. It can be an love that you mentioned the breath. That's a great one for all of us and so we breathe in even as we're speaking. I'm breathing in all the great energy and sending that out to you and we so true we can send it out now in the world for all of us to take a moment. Take that takes this beat right here and right now and right here in this moment. I know we've gone way over. But that's i want to send them so grateful for you being here. And for a sharing. Just your your beautiful energy sandra. And you're continuously putting that into the world and we are so in sync and and your love and your light and your kindness. And of course your gentility i thank you for that in a world where you know will. I don't need to go on about the world but it's it's so necessary to have this gentility. So thank you and thank you for bringing all this out to the world It's wonderful that have will positively and that you can share that with the world. We need it right now and and comes from the loving being that you are able to you and and to have you as my new friend and for sure over together yes indeed. So thank you for being here and we recommend again. The website one. More time is sandra sandra as u. n. d. r. a. cindy c. I n. d. y. bloom b. l. u. m. dot com. And i'll put that also At out there and again you'll have to come back and we'll have partout and on and on and on wednesday and he day you to keep shining your light to lots of love ludlum bye by now child so thank you. Thank you again to my special special guest. Sandra cindy balloon and how appropriate that everything is in bloom here in spring and again. She's at sandra cindy bloom dot com and after we finished our little talk there. Sandra reminded me that. Just how one person can affect the very fabric of our existence. And it's so important she said in other words to stay in your light and it will spread to all those around you so true so true. So here's to gentility and self love. I thank you for listening and remember to stay in the answer. Stay in the solution and stay creative. This is maureen from quarantine patch.

sandra cindy bloom cindy sandy corentin minner Sandra cindy bloom Bollock cindy blooming Cindy bloom cindy sondra sondra cindy george floyd sophon palo santo Betty eadie raghad maureen santos sandra Nicholson dionne warwick Cindy
Shawndra Maine and Valencia Milord FOSTER CARE (PART 2)

Taking a Leap

27:24 min | 1 year ago

Shawndra Maine and Valencia Milord FOSTER CARE (PART 2)

"Hi Everyone. This is your life coach separate Brown welcoming you to taking a leap. Or guest today is Sondra maintenance? She's here again this week for part two. Off Her segments she will be joined by. Balenciaga the Lord. Is a licensing supervisor. Shandra main is the founder and CEO of Family Unity LLC. She has over twenty years of experience working in the social services field. She also holds a b from the city. University of New York, an MBA from the University of Phoenix and an MS in clinical psychology from Walden University. She's currently completing her doctorate degree in psychology at Walden University. Shawna's experience includes family, preservation, foster care, training, and developments, consultation and program development. She also holds certifications as an infant mental health specialist. Parenting Instructor and Shall Welfare Licensing Counter Welcome to the show once again. And the Linxia. And Kill. Thank you, thank you, so we left off last week talking votes. The challenges that you do see and you do experience with. Foster care and other areas that you that you work on in that in in this field. So I'd like to expand a little on that so that. The public is. Gains ran some real awareness as to the struggles that are really occurring in this area. So Sean. Draw on that note to what is a thing that. If nothing else, you need the public to understand about this industry. For secure is not necessarily a bad thing in think touched a little bit on that. During the last show there is a negative stigma associated with the were forced to care Our children experience fit the biological Shami's experience it and even sometimes forced to parents, but I want. To educate the public on the need that we have for forced to homes and especially for older children. Because when it comes to fourth care, everyone wants the cute little babies, and no one wants to force for the older children. So could you imagine what it feels like to be removed from your biological parents, and you're fourteen, and no one wants to take you in. So you know you deal with the trauma being taken away from your family, but then you also with the rejection from everyone else, they should be a teenager, and they automatically assume this is a teenager. This must be a horrible person or difficult child work with. So There's definitely a need to. Get families to volunteer to work with our children as well as UH sibling, groups. So in general teenagers. They you know they. They really do get a bad rap when it comes to just the just their age, we know we know what goes with being teenager, right? I'm not surprised that you. You get people thinking automatically that it's going to be difficult. Because, it's something that we generally here. Oh that you know, she's a teenager. It's her teenage years now. You don't eat it that there's just a general sense that he majors. Go through a time where they can be difficult. So. Are you doing anything to say? Maybe change the perception that prospective. Foster parents have of teenagers. Our training, you know training means everything, and we educate people, and you provide them with facts, and you conduct Bring them back to like. You said when you when we were teenagers because I don't. I I wouldn't say I was a terrible teenager, but I was a teenager with an attitude, and and you know I had the support of my family. So when when I. Educate people and a sit down and talk to them and we really. to sit down and reflect on some of the behaviors that re-experience as teenagers, parents are more willing to say okay I. Will it a try and I also try to encourage them not to base the child based also. What's document about the Child? Tell Mauka! Well. I can think about being removed away from your parents. You know regardless of what parent they have. Children love their parents. And if you're removed from your child's from your parents, some teenagers run away. Psalms becomes verbally aggressive so become physically aggressive. Some become withdrawn. these are all behaviors that's going to take place as a result of being placed in foster care, so we see all types of things to take place where the defining Sh- may come in children Malvano if you're not my my parents. And sometimes when when they're being assessed by the people who don't understand why. The child is behaving a certain way, they automatically are given Sometimes wrong diagnoses. Their diagnosis based off of what's being presented and front, and not realized. What's actually towards the behavior? So I have discovered as my time in fourth care, not really rely on what's talking about child because each child responds differently to each foster home. Got Ed. Valencia I'm curious about this. What has been? Your most. Difficult or challenging case. When look at all? Along. There's at least one. Heard that. Oh mind. I it's it's it's. Yes I have seen them all. you know. Four. Heart wrenching cases where you know, it's either. It's family member who you know, sexually abuse a young child. or A parent who physically US Burns, a child. You know for something very minor, so I have seen. The most. Heinous of things as a first responder, so you know I I really had to make sure at utilize like an outlet. So I. Don't take you know what I saw on a day-to-day basis. You know home with me or with my family. My friends because again. I will little be. Immediately after the incident, so I will be you know taking the child to the hospital or have police with me while they make an arrest, you know to the parents and things like that but Yeah I. It definitely be more than one, but they have been. You know as heart wrenching as the last course, and what is your old legs to deal with? That is the experience day in day. What is? How I've come to over the years because I was you know DCA for a few years my outlets have tainted change you know sometime I was just focused on going to the gym. And just you know utilize physical activity to just get my frustration alibi anger out. Other Times you know our just look forward to you know to the church. things like that, and even for Wa which were very interesting to me. I signed up for a three Simon which claps. Man I love you know English finally, and of whatever region it was so calming to me. It was so soothing. So where it would just once a week and I just really look forward to going to sign language class, so It was fluctuate I. Don't know why some I would change outlets, but I knew I knew, and that was one thing that you always. Recommended to avoid burnouts. If you just find an outlet, it's an outlet. You just see so much on a on a day-to-day basis Chandra you get the easier question I'm sure. The. The case back just still make smile to this day. smalls. I. Could such a sunset scary that? A Lot, and I'm trying to think of which one would be the most if good that you had to make. Such an. I. have to. I worked with a teenager. Who consistently ran away from the home. She consistently got into altercations school. And just act out and she was a teenager. And I said to her she has had multiple placements as well and I remember saying to her. Why do you keep doing things it should doing? Why can't you just behave in? Do what you need to do to Hash schoolwork It's not difficult and she said me. I want to be treated like a normal child. And I said to her. What does that mean and It turned out You know the school does. She was in with at least twenty miles from the force on that she was and one of the. Things that we try to do enforce foster care is not changed the school because that's the most stable environment should children so because she was in school, there was so far away she had to take the the the small yellow bus. The one that the children who are disabled Raj so she had to ride dabs laws. She's being picked up. The kids may the public because she was onto the bus for the. Disabled Children. and. Then she wanted to go to parties I, friends. She wanted to be able to go to the mall. be able to go. Home and do things that other teenagers did. So we ended up having them. Meet Him with the force the parents. And the foster mother was resisted, but plus the dad said know if we can figure out. Can we do to help this child I'm going to do whatever it takes, and we discuss what what the child wanted, so the force of barter said. His agreement. If you want to go to a party. I will drop you. When you're ready to come home. Doesn't matter if there's one or two o'clock in the morning I'll come. Get you if you WANNA go to the mall. These are the things that I do and and we put this plan into motion, and soon as that was John. This girl runs away. She stopped fighting. She went from fell increase to as S- graduated from high school. And achy went on to college, and this was a girl who had been forced to care since she was two years old. Is there any limit to the number of years? A A child can be foster. Brown. Yeah there is a mid doesn't always happen that way, but I. Believe is eighteen months that the state gave a parent who to get things in order, and if they don't then they start looking at terminent carbonate in the parental rights, and the child goes up for adoption. That's not always the case. Sometimes a biological Sharon have the case plan for four or five years. That's not Jill, but it can happened. I would say in the most recent years. Things have gotten a lot better where the state is pushing for permanency for the children, so we don't have children sitting in forced to care for four or five years. But at one point in time, children were enforced secure six. Ten Years Sometimes. Too when you say that the state to pushing for permanency, mean night going to explain that I don't think. Meaning As a child, adoption and parental rights were terminated. we're pursuing adoption for these children and trying to find permanent homes for the children. Cottage okay so it's considered. Better to expedite the adoption procedures. Yes, if the parents can't get it together, I, it's certainly you know just because the rights have been terminated does not mean that four parents no longer wanted children, but I. You know to have permanency to have someone say this is my mom, not my foster mom. IT gives a different message so. We want that. Stability for the children is completely different when you adopt. That's your child for life. Do you ever Horford. How often do you find that? The foster parents become the adoptive parents. Oh quite often. I. Need Fall in with the. With the after awhile. Great Great. Yeah, it is bittersweet. It is bittersweet like you know you. You want to see you know a child in a successful home long. But it is bittersweet for us because you know the need is still there have the parents eighteen most often the Nazi no foster parents once they adopt you know they you know they you know. The families can creed, and they'd rather just gone, and so it is, it is a bit of you. Know situation where? They've adopted and you know they want to call their home. So that's you know my job for me to continue to. You know to recruit. Off The parents not only become a foster home, but to continue. To leave the door open even after adoption. You know because you know the need is always there right? And I won't read. Do you really get people applying to to be false appearance on a weekly basis? What how many how many new applications would you say you edge on average? Not A lot. You know that's why it's such the recruitment efforts to Strong because again, people are straight of that work for six year because so much. To become a foster parent, not only do you go through training? We do background checks, and it's a very intrusive process. The most people don't want people in the business. So again, educating people talking to them and letting them know the rewards of Forstmann it's ongoing effort, so I it's hard to say if it's one or two sometimes. Sometimes the week we can get two or three inquiries and then. We can go two weeks without anyone contact so that's A. Difficult question to answer cottage gotTa, and if you had your way, what would be an ID number coming in on a weekly basis? At least ten at least ten inquiries a week. That would be ideal for me. That would be fantastic actually. Yeah got it okay. Still I'm assuming that this is how the the foster care system works. So what makes family unity any different from any other agency? That is doing work. Well we have the advantage of providing wraparound services meaning we have. Commissions Own Traditions We're into homes. Frequently more so weekly where we're in the homes. deterrence have access. Not only to the there is and to license the staff. They have access to me twenty four hours seven days a week, so we're. We're very close. Knit. organization meaning when you come on Roy. You're not just thrown to the wolves. You don't hear from us when we need to place the child in the home or when it's time to your license, its ongoing support and I think that's what make us stand out different from some of the other agencies. Sounds, thank you really do make a family. That the support is, is that strong? With other agencies. What you do, know all the agencies it do what is different. Do they have a cutoff like after five o'clock can't reach anyone or I wouldn't say that. the other agencies that we all have the twenty four hour. Support I think Only speaking for family unity, because we're a smaller than some of the big organizations we can do that the bigger you get. The harder I? I would say it is to do that. Sometimes you could become too big where you. You know what you started with you you to lose your purpose. Right yeah, yeah, that it's so true. When you look at this, you're ten years in. and. Let's look at ten more down the road. What is your vision for for the future family unity. My vision is to grow. and Go! Directly to East Coast. So I WANNA be able to license homes and. Other states. starting with Florida where we're into recounts now, so I wanted to able to move up the east coast, and and establishes the same services that happen Florida and other states. He. So what would you want to add? To Your Organization at this point, what is still missing? You think that you know if the funds were available or the if everything was right. What's the one thing that you would? Want to add to make the service even more superior. Maybe medication management having not own psychiatrist. Oh. Okay. which makes perfect sense because you're dealing with all these very traumatic situations? We'll bring as much in house. As possible, basically having as much available in hosts would be. Jones I would be your ideal. Nice. Or eight so. My last. Wrap up for you here. As you look back. At just your journey. What would you say? has been the best parts of it all. I would say the the relationships that I have developed personally and professionally. Give me more. Chandra yes, I'm here. Yeah thank give me any more on that. Well I I have had. A lot of people who have supported me as low support me and believed in my vision, even when there were times where I felt like giving up. So many people have supported. My vision of what I saw for family unity even when? I got to the point where I didn't believe it. So when I talk about relationships, relationships are very important to me and you know the just part of all that I. Have, done and all that I'm doing the relationships means so much any. Yeah, it sounds like you you. You got a pleasant surprise along the way with with the level of supports. At your nearest. Nice absolutely and and to piggyback on you know Shandra. Similar for me because I know as a first responder I never got to see the fruition of you know what pretty much wraparound services can involve like. I never got to see reunification I never got to see you know Hauer have the children you know become better after services putting place especially in a foster home, so now it has been about a year that I met with a foster parent and the children. Children that she's taken in, and and there from the very you know when the children are place in the home up until you know whenever and to see the changes I I. I've seen in those children, so it's a sibling when they came in. You know they did not speak no I contact. You know they were. They were very very much medically and emotionally neglected and now these children. They're just running running the household. And extremely vocal and affectionate, and I'm calling every time I visit them like it is in makes me emotional, because I I seen. What continual support looks like and how much you can change. A child's for the better to receive that on a continual basis. It is absolutely I know it's very cliche, but it's just it is absolutely just rewarding to see, and it just makes it that much better, and initially me so thankful to be positioned to see that definition should be on that that journey to see the full cycle of their development Oh, yeah! Feeling that is only. Been Hey. Sean. Please, give or listeners your contact information how they reach you if they're interested in being a foster appearance or finding out more about this. They should certainly call Um family unity, our main offices, nine, five, four, seven, zero, three, one, one, six five. And they can also go on our website, which is www dot family unity, hyphen, bringing families together dot com. We are also on social media. twitter family unity, the number six on Facebook, family, unity, foster care, recruitment, and even Instagram Family Unity LLC. Where we just continually post you know, we wanna continue posted like you know Fox and you know statistics things like that for people to really get to know what it takes to be a foster parent like for example you don't have to be a to a two person households and a five bedroom home affluent. You know community making a hundred thousand dollars. No, you could be a single. person in a two bedroom apartment as long as you have the heart and willing, who'd be giving information and you'll to be trained. You know that's all that we're asking for. And again you know. Leave you continual support. Absolutely. Yeah, you shop, and you guys take care of the rest. It sounds like. This old the doors in your heart and we'll take it from there. Thank you so much Sandra in Valencia. It's been good. Thank you for really sharing your knowledge and expertise with us. Lower. Thank you so much for having us. We're really really appreciate. Thank you. Thank, you everyone for listening my guest today were Sondra Main Valencia milord. This is your life coach Debra. Brown thanking you for tuning into taking a leap. If you have any questions or comments, I can be reached at taking a leak dot, com, or at nine, five, four, three, six, one, three, six, one seven. See you on the other side of success.

Brown Sean Walden University founder and CEO Chandra Family Unity LLC Sondra University of New York East Coast US supervisor Shawna Linxia Shami Instructor University of Phoenix Sondra Main Valencia milord Instagram Family Unity LLC
84. Jennifer Hamilton, Hilarious Labor & Delivery Nurse

Fancy Free Podcast

31:10 min | 6 months ago

84. Jennifer Hamilton, Hilarious Labor & Delivery Nurse

"You are listening to the fancy free. Podcasts where my girlfriends. And i tell our most embarrassing funny stories so that we all feel less alone and our imperfections and forged connection through vulnerability and huber. I'm joanne jarrett. And i'm your host. And today i have with me. A new girlfriend jennifer hamilton. That i discovered on tiktok. You guys jennifer is a mom of two boys a wife and a labor and delivery nurse and you guys. Labor and delivery was my very favorite part of medical school and residency. So i'm kind of like secretly jealous of her. She is very real and she started her tiktok by posting videos about herself as a silly mom and she sometimes tells funny nursing stories so yea i love that. Her most viral videos have been nursing stories. Homemaking for the modern mom and torturing her husband with labor simulator jennifer. Thank you so much for being with me today. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here awesome. Oh my gosh so fun. I have so many questions for you. I don't even know where to begin. I'm excited let's do it. How long have you been a labor and delivery nurse. I have been on labor and delivery for working on years. But i've been a nurse for almost nine years. My first part of nursing was in the emergency department which is totally different than labor. Delimiting and i find. I get called bad names. Way less on labor delivery. We'll fill in the blanks. What did i miss about who you are and what you do. I am in north carolina central part of north carolina. Been here forever. I have been a nurse for almost nine years. I am married to a sweet man. That i met while working at a summer camp for kids with chronic in terminal illnesses. I and i have two kids. Two boys my oldest is about to be eight which i cannot even believe and his name is ellis and then my youngest is four and his name is luke. Oh that's awesome. So how was the labor and delivery experience for you. Personally wait a minute. You had both of your kids before you were ellen diener. I did yeah in. That actually made me want to be a labor and delivery nurse. I actually got to be delivered by one of my friends. Who was the labor and delivery nurse and she kind of told me about how different it was from what i was doing in the er because in the er you can. Have you know like thirty patients at night and then in labor delivery on a on a busy day you have to patients so being able to with somebody. It really makes a difference. So when i was looking for a change from the emergency department kind of just got burnt out it. Just kinda sucks your soul little bit just tragedy and pain so i was looking for something different and i saw that there was like a weekend option position on labor and delivery and i just went for it and by the next week i had the job so it wasn't anything that i really planned out in my life like. Oh we're delivering are kind of just happened. And i wouldn't change it for the world and i appreciate having my er experience behind me because not you come into labor and deliver. You almost feel like you're in a vacuum that you know. I'm dealing with babies in pregnancy but there are sick people that have babies and so you have on top of my favorite obgyn. When i was in residency wasn't obgyn. Who had been a family physician. I and i think it just gives you such a front bays similar to your situation but on the nursing side or you had all comers and you learned about physiology and emergencies from a whole body perspective. Yeah your patients are really lucky years. Three the are looking to symptom and you can alert their physician of something that you think is a red flag than at another labor and delivery nurse. Just might miss you know even though it means. They're all training. Yeah that is so awesome so tell me just really quick how your labors went down. I love a good labor store. They went fantastic. My first one. I had a great pregnancy labor. I was induced partly because my doctor wanted to go to and eight brothers concert on cooperate we call that as urgent action but usually the paint for the doctor i know in this was back. When inductions were way more acceptable when it was kind of just elected yet that went super super smooth and then my next labor. I had such a terrible pregnancy. I gained like seventy pounds of fluid. I cannot get my feet into shoes. It was just like an ample lupu but my but my labor wit great right so they just broke in start posting breakwater in like six hours later at a baby so had evidence with both of them which i love. Love an epidural christian. What did you do for putting. Whenever i first win to have a baby for the very first time i was like i want to try to do it natural right but i should have known that that was not going to happen because for me. I am a wuss. I am the biggest weaning of all. I'm the queen weenie. Because i pass out with anything. Only gosh i just night. I just go to sleep. I passed out getting my ears pierced. Blood drawn flu shot. Tv tests if it hurts. I'm gone so i got like three centimeters or something And you're like goodbye. yeah. I'm i'm done with with this part so i think really interesting. Do you think that you have an overactive. Vasovagal response to pain. Oh yeah definitely. I have that too. I passed out so inconvenient. It's like come on dumb. I like my heart. I feel so grateful to my heart. Because in general i me really well. But there's this just this one thing that it does when it's like Please don't slow down to twenty twenty isn't gonna do anybody any good. That's rude at all is so rude. Oh my gosh okay. Let's go through your rapid fire questions. What was your first job. I started working in a hospital when i was fifteen. I guess he called a job. Because i wasn't paid but i knew that i wanted to be a nurse. So bad in my mom was first in the hospital so she hooked me up with like being able to volunteer at the hospital. Some in so. I would do the things that you know. Nobody else wanted to do. But i would kind of myself into anywhere where i could see something happening fund and speaking of passing out. I was on the labor and delivery unit volunteering. And they're like. Oh this baby needs to get their blood drawn. I was like. I wanna see four foot. Bottom is drawing. it's just me and her in this room. And she said oh no. The vein blew in my fifteen year. Old mind i'm thinking like explosion. Like i didn't know what that meant. It's a terrible phrase. I passed out on the ground and they had to call my mom but i stayed for new. I wanted to be a nurse. And i just kept watching steph kinda desensitize myself but yeah working in a hospital. I guess i've always worked in a hospital. Oh that is amazing. What's your favorite joke. Okay i heard this a few weeks ago. And i cannot stop cracking up about it and i hope i say right. Okay okay. what is the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with big boobs. I can't imagine so many differences one is a crusty bus station in the other is a busted. Oh my gosh. That tickles. My funny bone because i love a word. You've given me my new joke. Yeah i can't wait to tell me right. it's a good one. Yes so good nest. Okay what is your home decorating style. There appears to have been a struggle. That is my home decorating. I'm constantly worried that. Like if i die in some weird way and they have to configure out what happened. They're not gonna be able to do it. Was there a struggle here or was this just how it was when i say if nine one one ever has to be called. They're going to be like you've been ransacked. No that's just the way we live. It's just the way i've told my husband. Like if i fall out anytime you just need to drag me out to the front yard please into the equation. Whatever you do right. I'm going to be judged postpone. Micheals i knew i liked you. Oh that's awesome okay. What's your any graham number. Oh i love any so wonderful me too. I'm type two. Which i feel like is pretty common for nurses to be a to the type two helper part of being real is that every marriage has it sucky moments. You know heck yeah and we are not all perfect people coming together to have perfect marriages. We've had struggles in one of the ways that we kind of went through it. And everything was obviously therapies. Great wonderful awesome but we took an instagram course and about not only ourselves but each other changed the freaking game. Oh my gosh. I hear you. What type is your husband. He's a five. When i first learned about the ingraham found my number really related to it. I told him. I said hey. I really want you to take this personality test. Just hearing me and take it. We took it on trudy. Which i guess is a really common any graham place to find stuff. He was not about it until he read what it said about him. In so one of the things that it said was a type five may have a really intellectual. Hobby is at such as board games and they might be obsessive over it. My husband has over three hundred and fifty four games. Wow they pegged him not even theoretically but the physically just to a teeny all of the color drained from his face seen then he was really on board. Yeah he was like yeah. Let's find out more about this. I believe it you know. My husband is super hot but he's a super hot nerd. He's very nurturing. I love it. Yes. i'm married to one of those myself. We love the neograft. We took a christian course for the kind of dislike shows. You as a spouse how your spouse sees the world versus how you see. The world had to communicate with each other in a way that the other person can relate to understand. Change the game. Yes a so good okay. What does something unexpected that has changed about you. In the past few years i would say and i think it's so perfect that you've asked me to be on this podcast. This is so my life. Because i used to be one of those curated posts on facebook and instagram. Here's my wonderful family. And here's me with my makeup done in my hair done and i've gone through some trauma in the last couple of years and i just realized like why you like. Why am i being this way. Because it was the people who came to me and were real with me that really impacted my life. During those times in. It wasn't those people who are like are just so awesome imperfect all the time so it was those people who have made the most impact on me so i made a decision that i was not going to be that person anymore. You know i'm not going to be this person who tells all my friends. Oh why isn't your marriage like my marriage. It's pretty darn great all the time. Oh breastfeeding is cinci. While my gosh did you just look shopping. And nothing ever hurt a so true so Since i've changed in that way i've had so many people especially through tiktok instagram. Coming to me and saying thank you. Thank you for be real like i feel like i'm the only one who feels whatever way it we're all in this thing together and i feel like people who kind of act like they're better than everybody else 'cause they don't deal with any struggles at all. I'm like get yourself. Yeah come on. let's not. That's not helping anyone and it isn't. It's just not genuine real at all exactly. What is amazing. So it's one thing realize it. It's another thing to put it into practice which it sounds like you absolutely done. And you've absolutely reaped the satisfaction of that being a blessing to. That's okay well as you know. The point of this podcast is to share or not so fancy moments so that our listeners. Don't feel like the fool in the room and that they can look at some wet professional or sophisticated or high profile women and remember that no one is as fancy as they look. So what do you have for us today. Oh girl so much so much in thinking about this whole podcast i was like what can i talk about and i think the one that most recently has kind of been one of the more embarrassing situations in my life is getting an iud. And i don't know how many people that are listening to. This have been through this process. But i've told you before the queen. Weenie the queen of all of the weenies and. I assumed that it would not be very painful. I was wrong so my husband. And i are very fertile. I'm not saying this to make light of anyone situation. If they're not right but infertility is not a struggle that we have had. This is our reality. My husband can sneeze from three houses down and give me pregnant so we were unexpectedly blessed with our first child and after he was born. I told my ovidiu. I and you know i really would like to have an iud to kinda take the guesswork out of pills and you know. I was breastfeeding. So i'd have to take the many pill if i was up and i'm really not great at pill so let's just take that out of the equation so i went with my husband to your get the. Ud not hurt on my friends saying oh who's nothing didn't even feel. It just depends Well i woke up with my with my legs over my head. Smelling salts showed up both of mine. Nostrils my obgyn holding his face. Because i kicked him directly in the place in my pressing out. Feinting motion is so vivid picture in my head. Think my buddy. And i turned to look at my husband who looks completely unfazed. He knows this is not just the territory with me in. I asked my obgyn. I was like did you do it. He's like no. You kick me in the head like i didn't do it is it. No such luck sister. He said many pill for you. Oh so i was so afraid of getting pregnant that i taped my birth control. Pack to my phone. That's brilliant and set an alarm. Mom said you look like a ho. You cannot be going around here with your to your phone like this but it worked. It worked for three years and then One day. I missed my pill by eight hours in here comes little luke after luke i told my. Obgyn i said listen to me. I have to have an eugene like. Let's just if you'll just give me something to relax me. I will be okay. So he gave me zanex percocet toward all finnigan in tech to soften. My services are hearing. I'm you know that like okay. That's that's a good combo right. There of sleepy juice not sure. Did he have a pulse. Ox on your finger. What i'm wondering if they really should have. He said take this hour before in so did as he said i think my nerves were just so shot that i wasn't even allowing it to work because i was stone cold sober for the whole procedure. I could see my soul lifting out of my body in pain in my god so traumatic and terrible of course is soon as we get in the car. I'm out right zone goodbye. And i'll see you tomorrow night night. It's over so. And i told you that i had gained like seventy pounds during my pregnancy of just being a girl with the fluid everywhere in so my poor husband had to pick up my big girl but in drag me in the house drop me off in the bed in you would come in and check on me just to make sure i'm still breathing. And then he comes in and checks on me. I have completely saturated head of the bed to foot of the bed in breast milk. He didn't think about that right right. I'm exploding and i didn't wake up. We're going to have to pump being still heap props up my dead corpse figures out to attach this breast pump to me. Oh my goodness he was. It was such a stressful day for him. Because i was no help i was. You're like unless. I feel amazing. Your husband likes. I've been through war. He's never made me do again. He was really living out his vows that day. Because man this poor guy. He's like watching. Get a vasectomy. Why eight he you know sets me up with the pump and everything goes to like get a drink comes back overflowed the pump. He's just like dabbing. Me was towels up. This restaurant amid the next in the next few days obviously recovered. I was okay. And i went out to lights with my seven year old grandmother who was very very with it right so she you know she didn't have any dementia shoes liberal life. She's doing great. And i was telling her how traumatic this experience was and she said oh. That's just crazy. I got mine out. Last month was like grandma. I don't know what you're talking about. We're talking about two totally different things. And she's like new. No that like t- thing that goes in your uterus to keep getting pregnant as like you're serious you had out last month. I wish you could see me. My mouth is agape. I'd like she had left. That thing in there for forty five years and her doctor just randomly found it and i'm sure he took a picture of it because it probably had barnacles on it because i am so curious as what with like when it came out that he restoring it to everyone. Because he's like what is this thing in antique have removed i felt like toothpicks. Or something back. Then i'm impressed with the quality products. You're like you know grandma in response to give to take out forty years ago where she said she just forgot about it and i told my arbizu i n that. That's my plan for my because it was so traumatic to get penin. It's just gonna stay there for forty five years. It'll come out with your next baby. Apparently on that for it's working well a- years right now. This episode is sponsored by the family personalities. Podcast do you ever wonder why your kids and your spouse dude. The things that they do. Sandra a myers briggs personality type practitioner and m a personality type enthusiast dive deep into family relationships in parenting using personality. Type to help change the way you see your family you guys. I love personality types. And i specifically love this podcast about personality types because sondra m presented in bite size pieces. You don't have to have previous knowledge of the personality. Type contracts that they teach and they specifically structure it so that we're talking about relationships within a family unit and give tons of examples and really great concrete ways to tell the different types of personalities in yourself and your loved ones. And i'm a true believer that the more you know about your personal makeup and the makeup of your loved ones the better. Your communication can be and the happier. Your relationships can be episodes. Release every tuesday find family personalities. On your favorite podcast app. And i will be aghast sometime in the near future. I'll make sure. I let you guys know when that time arises but until then subscribe to the family personalities. Podcast you and your relationships will be better for it. This is one. I saw tiktok. I think this might have been the first video of yours on tiktok that i saw. Tell me about the music that your patient requested. Oh my goodness so. I had a very sweet patient in. I came into work and she was pushing right so you know. I don't really have that much time to get to know somebody when you come in. And you're like okay. I'm jen let's push together so I was trying to calm her nerves because his first baby. Because i could tell she was really anxious and i said hey. Do you wanna listen to some music. So she said yeah. I really really love spying music. Okay i mean israel quirky requests camps saying that one before. And here's you look trying to figure out how to place by music like some in a moment. Yes trying to figure out like okay. I've never looked this up for myself. So you know. I'm going through amazon type in spy. And it's like you know mission impossible in james bond kind of stuff and I i go to do the mission impossible one and she looks at me kinda like are you either something wrong with the she said. I said spa music. Like i want relaxing. Music rainforests out. Not like there's a cat burglar scaling a wall music. Oh my gosh. I don't think she founded as funny as i did. I was like. I cannot believe that i just did this. Girl for her boyfriend thought it was very funny. You're like oh this is the story. I'll put my pocket and blaffer gaurantee exactly. I have so many of like these little stories. That i tell my patients during stressful times so we had a patient the other night who is having an unexpected c-section. Her husband could not come back with her for the c section. She was terrified. She'd never our c section before the end so while she's eating the spinal kind of like in her ear. And i can tell her they kind of have a story that i fall back on so my oldest son. When he was three years old we brought his brother home and so although my oldest had been breastfed himself he did not remember that. So you know all of a sudden his mommy's doing some crazy things with our boobs like what are you. What is this and so. He seemed to be really curious about that whole process in there was one day that he was being very quiet and so i go looking for him and i find him hiding in his room when he hears me. Come in. i see our cat. Just get thrown across the room like what is happening. He was trying to breastfeed the dan cats all the way up and trying to get this poor cat to suckle from his seat. I just died. yeah. I'm very excited to one day when he gets married and let everyone know about that story. Because i haven't talked to him about it since like i don't remind him of at all. I'm just perfect for myself. And keep it in your pocket. Your your son's like i have nipples. Maybe the cat me about is plan yet. Luckily we had a very patient intolerant. Cash one nipple. Yes oh lordy. Would you be willing to share one. Surprising thing about you that nobody would be able to tell just by looking sure. My husband and i are debt free beside her house. Wow yeah we don't like debt so it was maybe a couple of years ago. Now we were actually on the dave ramsey. Show doing our debt. Free scream that's cool. We paid off all of our student loans. Cars all that stuff. When we first got married. I i realized. Oh my gosh you can get a credit card and get whatever you want you can go get whatever car you and you just. Don't even have to think about it. You know into then you know. You're you're piling up all of these monthly payments. Like kinda sucks in so. I wasn't even thinking that you know debt. Freedom is like a thing and so i had sort of listening to daveramsey and we just went all in and we paid off twenty six thousand dollars in a year and then just just like clockwork though as soon as we got home from tennessee where we been on the dave ramsey show both of our cars die like completely no and our basement floods and when it nodal. They came in and they're like. Oh you got major problems after be fixed immediately so then it was like we immediately got back into debt resume as we paid everything off in so just last week. We finished again so we are officially definitely against. We've done it twice awesome. Congratulations and i'm you knew how to do it. Oh that's all me. It feels so great. You are really young to be debt free. That is incredible. We're consumer debt free. So we have no credit cards. We have no car payments. None of that stuff. It's just our house payment. Oh my gosh that's wonderful. I am impressed. I'll link in the show notes to dave ramsey's website so anybody who's interested in doing that can look it up cool. Yeah all right. Tell my listeners where they can find you okay. My main social is probably tiktok on their. Lots of my tiktok is jen hamilton. But there's underscores in front of gin in the middle in hamilton so it's underscore gen underscore hamilton store in. That is also my instagram handle. I am also on youtube just now. Starting my youtube channel in that will have the same a- handle i try to make it easy linked to all of that in the show notes. Oh my gosh jen. You have been so much fun. Thank you so much for being with me today. Thank you so much for having me. This was the highlight of my week for shark. Thank you so much for listening to the fancy. Free podcast today. Oh my gosh jen hamilton. So funny you guys. If you thought the story she told today we're good. There are just as many more for later in the week as a bonus episode. I am so excited to bring you that episode later this week. You're gonna love it. Make sure that you check out the show notes for today's episode at fancy free podcasts dot com slash episode eight four so that you can get all of the links that we discussed and find jen's so that you can follow her on all of her social media next week on the show. We have a really interesting guests. Kirsten lindh she is the author of multiple faith-based books the most recent one called. where's my crown for acting. like everything is fine. She's also a qvc host. She is so interesting and we had a lot of fun. You're gonna love that episode so make sure you come back next week the easiest way to make sure you don't miss it is to subscribe to the podcast that new episodes pop into your feet every monday morning. And then whenever else bonus episodes pop up if you have a story to tell remember to email me at not fancy at fancy free. Podcasts dot com or go to fancy free podcasts dot com. Click the red button in record when they're also make sure to check out shellfish shop that's s. h. e. l. f. i. e. s. h. o. p. p. that is my women's lounge wear online store if you are into wearing your pajamas but looking like your street clothes. These are for you so much fun. And they're selling kind of fast shelf. Fees are produced in limited edition collections. And when they're gone they're gone and there probably will be just at one or two collections per year. So i'll lincoln the show notes as well ahead over there and check it out and also make sure that you listen and subscribe to family personalities. Podcast if you want more connection laughter and sharing joined the fancy free facebook group. The question of the week this week is have you ever passed out. I would love it if you'd follow the fancy free podcast on instagram. And tell some friends about it. Have a wonderful week and remember. No one is fancy. Yes they look.

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Being Mindful Of Idolatry In Our Own Hearts  Prescribing Truth Podcast Ep. 61

Prescribing Truth

23:15 min | 2 years ago

Being Mindful Of Idolatry In Our Own Hearts Prescribing Truth Podcast Ep. 61

"Prescribe truth. Doctor Jamal apologised aboard, sir. Creche change. True. Welcome back. Everybody to prescribing truth, I'm Jamal bandied. This is your first time. Listen this on your various podcasts as please leave review. They let me know what you think of the show, I really appreciated hopefully, a washing his love on you to every Sunday six pm. I try to stream live or U2. on tonight's episode. I'm actually streaming a little bit later because I had to travel. I am in Atlanta Georgia right now on training for my job. And so I was like well bring my laptop with me. And I still wanna go live and be able to talk to you guys and show on my heart and erica's podcast. So thank you for coming on. And thank you for listening. First off I want to give a shoutout to some new patriots'll. And I am thankful, man. It usually shouting out a patriot shout one at a time. But this time this time I shout out three new patriots, y'all. Whoo. AD robe, lis-, Shannon and Miguel. Davila. Thank you so much for joining me on patriots. Thank you for your contribution. If there's just one time. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I greatly. Appreciate it in you to if you like to support prescribed truth you can do. So by joining me on patron at patron dot com for slash prescribed truth for only dollar you can help us out a lot of ours. Getting this content out the the streaming software takes to get this knowing and you know, the project and working on trying build a studio it really helps. It really does. So thank you so much for your contribution for those who give for my current patriots. And for the newest thank you so much, and if you can support us, I greatly. Appreciate it. If not appreciate your prayers on tonight show. I wanted to talk about being mindful being mindful of our dollar tree in our own hearts. Now this conversation I had with young man, dealing with an idol and. He didn't recognize wasn't idle, and this particular subject, speaking about music, the type of music that we listen to that we like, and he expressed that that certain type of music has continent that blasphemes God that disrespect guy. But yet. Just like the song. I mean, you know, how many how many of us have gone through that? We we like this. We like the beach. We like the sound of it and and everything else, but man that content. I mean, the contents openly blasting God and blasting it where he stands for what he approves. And what he loves yet. He just can't stop listening to this song because we enjoy the sound. We enjoy the music we enjoy high makes us feel you know, and I had axed him. Really? I gave them something to consider like, you know, if somebody that we love if it's like, my my wife, or my mother somebody like that that know somebody that I love and care about. And I heard someone make a song that disrespected them, and who they are what they stood for. How would that make you feel? How does it make me feel and it was two things to conclusions? That came out of that situation with one conclusion is that it would make me upset because it's talking about my mother, and I'm not gonna support you're talking about my mommy on my wife, your blatantly doing it. I'm not gonna listen to you. Now Galicia music. I don't care if I liked the music. I'm not gonna listen to him not going to support you in that way. Because who disrespecting? So did not thought about it. The conclusion was man, do I do I put my wife above guy and say, we'll house there so well because if I if there's a same type of content that disrespects guide yet, I say, oh, you know. I mean. Yeah, they they don't they don't they're talking about God. But it's okay. Listen to it. No problem, you know. But then for my wife, and I get upset. I get I get outraged and not I wanna throw it away. When I made my wife and item. I wife is more important more important more Brevard sd reverence in my own heart and God. Then as another maybe I'm out allies in the music. Maybe yes, I know the content blasphemes God, I know that the ones who's making the song is disrespecting goddess. Also for yet. I mean, not just listen I cannot. Go without listen to this all the rest of my life is not going to be right? If I don't listen to this this music at that point than I've out allies, the music of idolized the band, or whatever may be. And suddenly, oh man that I had the same this same understanding that I went through with dealing with some hip hop songs. Emmy is just a reality. And I remember on Sondra used to love growing up up by mopey. I'll know Johnno about that. But any up that was my jail, man. Like, I ride I remember riding. I'm I ride in my car manager splashing flashing lyrics. And it was like man like, but just the content already think about what the song is talking about. And I love the instrumental music the instrument itself just just get in. But listen to content is conscious about kidnapping somebody beating somebody taking something from them. You know, saying that's what that's what the loser talking about. Now, what has gone say about those things those things good bad or evil or what you know? And I was thinking about the content of like man like so so in a song. Oh, yeah. And then in this on do blessing by calling no using his name in vain. But is like man, I how can I be into like I'm not talking about just just ride into the be? I mean 'cause I could play instrumental of the song. I don't think it's anything wrong with that. But I used to quote, delirious and everything just be jamming. And I begin to to he up yet that food and I'm. I'm like, well, wait a minute it kidnapped that food. And I'm like, oh, what am I saying? I'm actually because it fits with this beat. I'm actually praising the fat don't wanna kidnap somebody. I don't know. I may not under them not gonna go out there and kidnap nobody. But what am I saying, what am I supporting innocence? And I think about them on heart. Now, you may not have that conviction when it goes music, but this while saying like this is being mindful of dollar tree in our own hearts. What are we supporting? Now, this particular song that the gym was no Surat music, and the the artist the band or or eight the S, and that doesn't necessarily mean thing. I mean, they'd be eighty systemic asong that still has truth in it. It's true. That's good. Right. But the content of the song will be very like anti God anti religious like that. So that's that's what that was. And so we'll just about that. Because the music now I wanted to this podcast, not just not just on the subject of music, but on anything what is it in our lives that we put before God. We know that God is pre. He's he's supposed to be should be demands. To be the head of our lives. What he stands for? We supposed to delight in his laws delight in his ways. What are we putting in front of him? What are we serving before him? And I would like to argue also was this argument just put before you that even when we sing. I mean, just think about the send that we commit in our hearts and our minds the things we do that. We know that are contrary to the word of God. At that moment that very moment when we thought in evil thoughts, we committed adultery just think about it for a moment. We was a dodgers. Be worshiped in served something else. Other than God. Let us sit for just a moment. Just think about that. When I tell a lie. Why did I tell a lie? What was that trying to protect? Goss as he despises. He hates those who tells laws he says the liar have their place in the lake of fire. What what was it? That was so important that I had to lie. What was I what what was I I'd allies at that moment, whether be my reputation, whether it be my my word that wanted to be seen like I was false at that moment. Just you know, was it myself always trying to protect myself by immed- funny or not trying to get in trouble at the end of the day. I mean, I think if you it the moment you allies yourself, your yourself is more important than God. At that moment. That very moment that you told a lie. What about when we will look at the opposite sex with less or even the same sex or we look at someone with less. What is that? What is it? We've may aid. We've either made that them them the person we're looking at an idol or even once again, we're satisfying our own desires and our own less. Making ourselves the idol. Enemy so subtle. I think a lot of times, especially those of us who are formed. We know that we're born in born in sin that we're sinful by nature and his only by the power of God that we are regenerated a heart changed that we go from loving are sent a hating our sin from hating righteousness to loving, righteousness. We we know that. And we also know that because that happened we still deal with sin. We still deal with it. But what does that reveal in us? What should that reveal in us that we still have that struggle at battle? Is that we still struggle with dollar tree? At the root of it all of us. Is not because you happen to go. See something like go see certain movies because you happen to celebrate us our day or do this and do that at third that you become idolaters? It's not that. Every time you say thought word or deed. It root of that is idolatry. There is something that you feel is more important and obeying God. When Goss says, thou shalt not and then you still do. That makes a little bit of says. I hope you understand what I'm coming from here. No, this should not make you feel comfortable to the believer to the believer. Who's listening to this? This should not make you feel comfortable in your San this should not make you feel like, oh, I deal with this on a daily basis. Oh, well, it's just you know, it's just another day. Like, no, this should have you run to the feet of the cross two feet of cheeses crowd to crowds and constantly crowd to the Holy Spirit to container to wash U to Moshi shape. You into image of Christ. Because that's our sanctification. I'm gonna help of the spirit we're being made into image of Christ. And then, and that's what makes me so happy about the scripture that says that he will begun a good work in us will perform it into the day of Jesus Christ guy would not give up on us. He won't stop the work that he started in us. We still should be mindful of those blind spots of those heirs and allows that show our dollar tree. Would we allies? I realize my own heart my own heart. Sometimes it's my simple pride. You know me wanting to be right. We wanted to be at the top me wanted to be the center. And that's where my idolatry lies idolizing myself. What is it that you just is self examine your hearts? What is it that you put before God think about prayer time should be the bible says pray without ceasing? What what is what is keeping you from spending time with the Lord getting that time alone with him? What is holding you back in that area? What are you? What are you rather doing? And and doing that get into the word reading God's word being cleansed by his word being convicted by his word. What is keeping you from? That is it is you there things that you trying to do wanting to do like, you don't have enough time, quote, unquote. I'm talking to myself to y'all. This is not just not just you is is is us. This particular park has I'm definitely reaching out to fellow believers see for those of you who listen to who may not know Christ. And I hope that you attorney from San see how even as believers were still being mindful of our sin knowing by which are strength comes from knowing that it comes from the Lord knowing that I only hope in Christ. My hope is that you to turn from your sins and put your trust in Christ him alone for salvation that if you have a voiding lifelike, you can't live without such such that you recognize that void is truly because you need Christ. He's what you're missing not to acohol not the smoke. Not the man not the woman not the things Christ. He's it. He is what we need what we desperately need. Hope you see that. I want you to think about what is it that? Deemed to be more important. I always think about just a small things. Oh, my son playing playing around playing in a room. Having a good old time and me getting harsh with him for just being loud is being child. What is that was sending he commit? And what was it? The heavy be harsh with him when the scriptures. Tell me not to provoke much to wrath anger being unfair is myself was when I need what I want is more important at this moment, my own selfishness. And now, we know that selfishness. Is definitely dollars real self. Selfishness is out allies itself. We have to be mindful. Let's examine our hearts. This do that. And let's turn from that sent turn from sin where it is. We're seeing is present air needs to be repentance praise. The Lord our salvation is not predicated on how good we keep the law. How perfect we keep the law praise. God praise God, it is Jesus Christ who kept the law to a T in his in him that we have righteousness is through him is his righteousness that we hold onto. In his by him that we are justified. Not in our own doing. But is because he did that because he first loved us. And by his spirit, we love him. And what did you say you love me, you'll keep my commandments? So are obeying God are striving is out of love. We don't make excuses because we're not perfect. That's not an excuse is because we're not perfect. We constantly find says defeat of Kreis linked. Todd discoursed remain go on dischord, man. You don't have to be patient to do. So you can just come onto Lincoln description in come on in this discourse over here. We have some good conversations. They're building a community really thankful for it. Now here I just a few texts scripture that mentions dollars talked about dodger and going to read them off to you there. This Colossians three five therefore considered a members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil, desire and greed, which amounts to add dollar tree. Classes three five. So that's basically what I was saying earlier that these things think about it consider consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality dead to impurity debts, passion, evil, desire and greed. These things that satisfy you Paul says these things amount to adultery we're serving ourselves. And instead of serving God by committing these sins first Peter four three for the time already passed fishing for you to have carried out desire of the gentiles having pursued a course of sensuality lust drunkenness carousing drinking parties and abominal abominable idolatry. I'm the significance. Reading these texts scripture to you guys is that idolatry, isn't that? You just worshiping something as bowing down the knee or abounded Neil. Or throwing your hands up at something, you know. And worshiped like it's not always that you know, that you had interest beginning image. So you know, you may not be sending in the mirror seeing in the mirror and worshiping you. I like, you know, like praising you, you probably you probably not doing that. You're not you're not being that extreme. But in the sense that we commit we are indeed committing adultery in amounts to idolatry liquid of Gaza of Samuel uses of Sam Samuel said insomnia concerning Saul for rebellion is as sit as a scent of nation and insubordination is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord. He has also reject you from being king. That's I Samuel thirteen. Twenty three was a Sammy's words to Saul. But what it look what he said. For rebellion is as the sin of nation and insubordination is as iniquity and idolatry insubordination. What is that? Has your what is it happens when you're insubordinate? You disobeying command? You're disobeying one who's in authority our sin. We commit send. We've disobey God. It is inequality is also a dollar tree is also one of the fruit the works of fruit. One of the works of the flesh in just five twenty. I rent the ten fourteen tells us to flee from dodger. So this should be. This should be attitude. Comes idolatry three from it. What is an idol in your life? What are you holding onto? So dear. Lord, God hates. I remember. When I was at the hearing, the gospel, and it was rested. I was wrestling with my mind for time, and I'll be the law. It was really working on my heart. And I really believe the Lord save me in just wrestling with his coming to grips with own sin. And it was in that it was in that moment, I recognized that I have all my life. Love my said in truly hated God. I love my said my, and it was all because it'll because things that I wanted to do. I found pleasure in I was serving myself praise golfing. His mercy praise off his grace. So let's be mindful of that guys. So we think about our dollar. We're talking about worship worship of things serving of anything else other than God. What are you starving? Now, it's important that we define these terms correctly. When I don't want to happen. I don't want anybody to do when they leave here is that they in idol that may not truly be an idol, you think about the things you say that you can't live without that. You just gotta have this. If you don't have this. You know, what you do like your life depended on it that may be an idol that maybe something that you serving because you're willing to do what it takes to hold onto it. But then maybe things that may not necessarily be an idol, but examine your heart. Examine your heart. The see of it is would you love? So dear. Does above God? I think about that. When it comes to my family when it comes to when it comes to this podcast when it when it goes to prescribe truth as a whole where it comes to things I wanna do my job. And you know, the thing about all of that. Are these things more important than guy? Am am. I put in these things before God. And the answer is. Yes, did I need to step back? And he still backing to go to the Lord. Turn from that terminus in trust Kreis. So I hope this was helped before you hope this may have been helpful to somebody who's listening to be mindful of dollars, or even if it's just to to draw your attention to areas in your life that you've made out of thought about. If there was something that I missed those Yoohoo listening feel free to leave comments and whatnot on your thoughts. Concerns? Anything of these do Saugrain appreciate it. But that's all I had. So remembered. Is world is full of errors with the only thing that dotted prescribes is truth lessons.

dodgers Doctor Jamal Goss San Atlanta Saul Shannon us Davila erica Sam Samuel Georgia kidnapping Sondra Johnno Brevard Emmy Surat immed Miguel
Sacred Rest: How the 7 Different Types of Rest Affect Your Day-to-Day

Family Bytes Podcast

36:04 min | 2 years ago

Sacred Rest: How the 7 Different Types of Rest Affect Your Day-to-Day

"The welcome to the family bites podcast where we believe even closer relationships are closer than we think. Thank you for joining the family vice podcast where we have a senior purpose to help encourage and equip each of us to invest in our most important relationships, because we believe even closer relationships are closer than we think. And today, we have a real treat Dr Sondra Dalton Smith is joining us. She is a doctor of internal medicine. She is also a speaker has authored sacred rest recover your life. Renew your energy and restore your sanity. She has been featured on the CBS evening news as well as MSNBC FOX as well as featured in Women's Day. Good, housekeeping and Redbook. And now Dr Dalton Smith, all of that has led you to the family bites podcast. It's like the Everest podcasts, aren't you excited, I am all joking aside. I am very thankful that you would come and take some time to share in our humble little podcast here, and I've really enjoyed your book and is really of. An honor to to get to know you little bit here today. Now I've got an opening question for you. I'm reading all the things that you're doing my first question. Are you getting enough rest? I get that question often. And I am that's, that's the great thing about the whole concept of sacred rest is that you can continue to be active and still. Oh, well rested, still have joys they'll have teas and dual that while still honoring that principle that we need to have some away time, and some time to rest and to restore so that's, that's what we can get more into because because it is possible was great. And so, because I've never heard anybody say, I'm getting less busy. This is not happening. My circle of friends are always talking about how life is getting more busy, and how they feel like life. Sometimes is sucking energy outta them. The responsibilities are pulling the energy out of them rather than finding pockets of time in the midst of the business to real fine rule. Wrestle. How would you define sacred rest them? I find sacred rest that rest that we required to restore the energy that we put out in our regular day and it's sacred because it cannot be replaced with anything else. I think that's what so often gets us into that trap of feeling tired, all the time where you go to bed at night, and you wake up still exhausted is because we think that sleep alone should fixed, all of these other types of rest that we need, and it doesn't, and I think we've proven that over and over again sleep is important, but is not going to restore a social rest deca said or a sensory rest deficit or a creative restaff is said, we, we have to say that rest is sacred in all the seven areas and that all of them are equally important for us to feel whole. Sousse, wholeness that we're trying to achieve then. How did you start this journey? He's, I mean, it's a well written book. And it almost seems like you've had a little experience on the other side of not having that sacred rest that you're trying to encourage all of us to pursue. Oh, absolutely. I really started also may burning out is how it started off as a physician. I've always been taught that if you get the seven to nine hours, sleep and do these things that protects books. Tell you to do that. You should be full of energy full of joy full of case in just really have the life that you're going after as far as physically, and mentally and that this isn't the case for most of us. I think we see time and time again where that doesn't work. And so I got to a point where I really had everything that I have been striving for as far as I had my degree. I was actively in practiced I had two small children at the time both were under the age of two. I was happily married, but I was I had no joy and no contentment and no satisfaction. Even after having checked off all of those huge life goals. And it was during that time that I really got to this point. Where I had a relationship with God but it was more of a sideline relationship is what I'll call it, it wasn't something that I really thought too much about, but I would going about my regular day and doing things that I knew were benefiting other people, and I felt was honoring to him, but I really got to the point where I wasn't honoring the Sabbath, or really thinking that it was even anything that I needed it wasn't even something that was even in my in my thought process at all. And so one day I came home with my kids, they were from in preschool, or actually, in daycare, and I was so down. And I looked at all of these things that look like they should have made me happy. And none of it was, and I thought to myself, God is this, this is all there is. I don't eat them want to do it anymore. I don't I don't see this as being at the time I was in my early thirties. And I thought if this is what the next sixty years of my life is gonna look like. Then I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this anymore, and I just laid down on my four in the foyer of my house. And this piece came Overby that was so unbelievable that I just close my eyes and just reclined into it. And as I was laying on this floor, this hardwood, four freezing cold with this just overwhelming tease. It hit me that I hadn't just purposely shaved activity and like St. still disclose my life like that. The middle of the day, and probably twenty years. I run and run and run and run after my goals, and I never once thought to really really enjoyed them the really recline into them. And that's when I realized I need to change something I need to change how ongoing about my life. If I want my life to be the best early can be, and I loved that because you had you have a great career, a wonderful family. Your kids, probably are doing really will your Christmas card probably will look outstanding and the image that races. Why, why would someone like you not be happy? I mean you have it all. And it's yeah, go ahead. Yeah, you're exactly right. And that's what people were thinking on the outside. No one would've known. And that's why when I see, like sometimes I'll say, people who are in the media, and all of a sudden you hear that they committed suicide and you think how is that their life look so good. You know, they've got all these famous friends and all this stuff going on the they looked so successful. I can hundred percent understand how you how they, they can feel for the have a life that other people envy. And when that you are desperate breakout. I love that say that against our listeners can really grasp it a lot of people were pursuing a life that we can NB at the same time. We're desperately trying to break out of explain what look likes. Well, for me when I, sometimes now, even when I sit down with, with other doctors are authors speakers, or anyone whose, whose life is similar to mine in some way. And they look the oldest is like another doctor, for example. And they'll say, wow, you were on while you did a Ted talk and well you were on TV and they're like, oh, I'd love to do something like that. And so they're giving you all of this stuff that they that they're saying from superficially, but they don't know the stress that goes under that they don't know the hours of preparation the, the strain and all of the stuff that goes into those, those while moments and the pressure of that in. So if someone is, is just focusing ahead, having more and more while moments in their life, their not enjoying those moments because that's the moments themselves the preparation for them. Typically tend to be stressful. So the time that you enjoy them is when you step back and you, you actually break. Away from it for a moment. And you can look back on it kind of end say, it's not really that the striving death-making meet be and a checking something off my to do list is making me. Feel better was making me. Go better is actually enjoying it being able to give thanks in the middle of it being able to stop long enough and into into understand that you're not alone. That's you that God goes with you into these, these battles in these, these opportunities. There's such a release that comes when you can break away them from the responsibility of all of these different things, and just rest, and I think those two words that you use rest in joy for so many people or allusive, because they don't know what it looks like. I mean, I don't know how many people I feel like I have been wired to be achievers. Well, of course, in ministry is totally different how many people can you meet? How many people can you impact, and if I'm not careful I could easily. Get a great sense of pride, not sense, a joy necessarily in and how many people I've met with during the week or how many people give me a high five for a lesson, or a sermon or a one on one session, or how available I've been and that affirmation sometimes can replace true joy that comes from resting and knowing that God is pleased with you. You ever do you ever? Yeah. Yeah, I can totally get that, because that's, that's probably what got me in the most trouble. I'm I'll admit I'm a people pleaser. I like that a girl, you know, the high and all of that stuff that's kind of how I was hot wired as a as a teen to go after that, to go after those accolades, and to go after those type of accomplishments in. So when I as I became an adult is hard to kind of reprogram yourself to not go after that into constantly be kinda going after those, those affirmations from other people. But what happens is when we get into into a cycle of always seeking the approval of others. It puts unnecessary strain on our life, that then sets us up for emotional rest deficits social rest deficits, because the relationships often time aren't as authentic and is healthy, if they could be because we don't have healthy boundaries. When you're when you're trying to be a people pleaser you try not to have confrontation in so you tend to say yes, and to agree to things that you may. Not really want to. And so you end up getting yourself in one of those situations where you're pulling your your attention, and your energy in ways that don't align necessarily with your current season of lies, and I think that's where a lot of joy gets melted and the ministry when we, we don't have those boundaries in the discernment to be able to, to really save when a season has ended and there's something more that we're being moved into. And so we have to be willing to, to really move with God's so to speak, so that when a season ends, we don't we don't fear people, and what they will think about a season changing or ending, but we really want to honor him with our lives. And, and our activities. And so let's talk from a medical perspective, then I love the fact that you distinguish between true rest and sleep. Because in the news, I'm hearing constantly about how Americans aren't getting enough sleep every night. You hear especially right now in athletic, some kind of a sports fan rest and sleep is a big component. Tom Brady is, is touting how many hours of sleep. He's getting in the latter part of his professional career in football. And so from a medical perspective. Why is rest important? On the rust. We really have come bind the concepts of sleep and rest to the point where it seems like they're the same thing, but they're not sleep really is focused under the physical rest components. And when I started studying rast not just from the spiritual but from the scientific aspect of it. We have more than just one type of France, they do have the physical, but then we also have the mental and this fear chill and the emotional and sensory, and the social into creative in. So when you have all seven of these areas is impossible to feel completely rested, simply by sleeping sleep alone. Can't restore all those other areas? Why's that? Why is that though? I mean, and I totally track in with you, because you were speaking to my season of life right now, which I truly appreciate and people who listen. No, that usually have, folks. On that helped me, I'm get free counseling, basically. That's why we do the podcast here. Okay. But, but so I have experienced exactly what you're talking about were, I'll get a solid eight and I'll wake up and either because of I, I used to think it was intimidating my day. Oh, I've gotta do X amount of things today. But you're saying it's something different. There's other components in my life. That will I feel better when those components arrested Orlando's other areas of life, I have to rest in those or is it is just an inner satisfaction. What does that look like for me when I spit kind of rest? Well, you, you will feel better because if you're currently, if you're like I rise in your waking up, actually tired, you wake up you're like, oh, God. It's monday. But it's actually like Wednesday. It's Monday again. Right. So you're having that type of cycle where you're just every day. You're like here we go again. I'm so tired can the weekend come if you're having that type of behavior in attitude, and absolutely? When you start restoring your rest episodes, all of a sudden, it'll be like, wow, I, I have energy, I didn't realize that was possible, because this, this thing is rather we realize it or not, we're constantly using energy in different areas of our lives. And so we don't always think about how we use energy so someone who, let's say has to constantly come up with innovative ideas or create new things or brainstorm with other people, they're using creative energy. But when they hear the word, creative rest, they may be thinking, oh, I'm not an artist. You know, I don't need that because I don't I don't paint or I don't right? Or don't you know, I don't play music or something. But creative rest is needed for anyone who has to come up with out of the box ideas. So a teacher who launched to elevate her classroom, to, to be able to reach a student who may not be getting it and has come up with a new idea on how to teach that topic needs creative rest, because they've got gotta be able to go outside the box in so the problem with that is when someone is using that energy to try to come up with those ideas there then draining that part of them, south. They're draining that one of the seven and unless they replace it, it will stay drain. They won't understand. Why do I not feel good? So something deal off. I think that's the number one thing, people say, I just don't feel right. So they can't verbalize what, what bills bad out. But they just know something is not in alignment, something is not filled to the point where they feel refreshed and restored. Then when we're not in alignment like that, or we more susceptible to illnesses than his that absolutely. It depends. But it depends on the type of rest deficit. You're having so people with a physical rest deficit. So physical rest is not simply sleep sleep is a card of it. But it also includes people who tend to hold a lot of stress and tension in their body. So they may have chronic neck pain, or headaches. I strain, there's things that go along with just with, with holding a lot of stress and muscle tension. Those people tend to have a lot more episodes of bidding sick whenever I had someone who says, I stay sick all the time. Everybody else's well at work, and I keep catching colds over and over and over again, they're use a carrying a huge stress load that they may not even be aware that they are living under that, that level of stress that is actually suppressing their immune system to the point that it can't fight a healthy battle against normal bacteria. And so this is where this is such a profound concept for me, personally, I'm sure for all of our listeners will because many times. Have viewed creativity or physical exertion like exercise as outlets to gain, more rest or more energy. But I love the fact that you're saying, okay, there's a lot of different kind of creativity and physical exertion that could actually be pulling that energy, and not really giving you rest and I think that will be very, very helpful for a lot of our listeners who are trying to find that outlet in order to find that energy. Yes, that's, that's great. That's a great point because really what I try to help people to see really the first the first principle of this sacred rest concept, if that rest should equal restoration, when, when you say you're going to get rest in an area, you should be able to tell me what is getting restored. So for the example, physical rest, you mentioned exercise or walking. Walking can be part of your physical rest strategy, if we're talking about restoring circulation, and we're talking about improving the lymph addicts but you have to understand for it not then flip over into work. It has to be at a leisure pace. So when we're exercise walking or jogging for, for physical fitness, that's a stressor on the body as a health a stressor, but that's not exactly the same thing as physical rest because you're using the muscles. So they're not paying unwind. Do they're not being kind of relaxed they're actively being used. That's not a bad thing. But you didn't have to realise. That's why aftermath exercises. They will tell you to take a cool down walk. The cool down walked or the whatever, cooldown activity, the stretching, and all of that, that's the removing into rest, because we're trying to restore those muscles back to their healthy along gated position. And we're trying to get the circulation in the lymphatic back to a normal. Range in those areas. So so yes, it is somewhat confusing. But if we are always thinking about it as okay, I want, I need rest in whatever the area is what am I restoring? That's a great question. And I would encourage over listeners, first of all, if you haven't gotten the book kit to grab it either, get the audible or the hard copy, because then, you'll be able to make these kind of principals more real to your life, and asks these kind of questions in areas of creativity or my physical life or the list goes on and on what is being restored. That is a profound, profound piece of wisdom that. I think all of us need to engage so medically recipes important. But you also have been visiting your website a little bit. And I've also see that you have a real passion for relationships. So what role does rest play in developing healthier, even closer relationships. Now it's one of the surprises really that came out of the book, I was getting a lot of information from actually, the first one is the Email that I got from a young man who wrote that his wi- had read the book, it had encouraged him to do the free thirty day risk challenge that I offer on my website in, so I got the Email from him because he's fed with married for, I think he's like fifteen years and he was like, I, I hate to admit this, but we got to the point where we were just roommates sharing bills and taking care of kids in the same house under the same groups, but I had got really gotten to that point per their relationships had gotten just planning. It didn't had to let the sparks all that energy that you expect between a married couple and went into things that I had recommended within there was a dissertation, five minutes of Ida. I contact that imports. It's a face to face contact. I'd I contact which is a part of what social rest is about, as the rest, we get in the presence of others who we feel understand us except us in want to be in relationship with us. And so he and his wife had started doing that on a regular basis. Just five minutes face to face. I always tell people to start with that question. Everybody gives lie to when you say how are you today? It'd be say alright or good. And we don't really get honest answer. We say it was even think about what we're saying to actually answer that question with full sentences to express, and explain what's going on in each other in your life to that person who's so close to you. And that is what he came back to tell me was that he cannot believe how just having that face to face. Time with starting to bring them closer and closer together to allow them to fall back in love with each other. Because if you think about it, we fall in love. Face to face, and then be get married. Amber facing a from each other, and watching TV looking at kids like neck, computer screens. I mean, even in restaurants, now, you'll see very couples now but both of them with Ryan phones out looking there rather than at each other. Absolutely. And we do this here. We have a monthly premarital seminar that we offer folks who are thinking about or are actually getting married and one of the first exercises that we do in this workshop, as we ask people to turn their chairs towards one another and have uninterrupted I contact, and we only make him do a fright thirty seconds and it's amazing to me. First of all, how awkward it is for every couple in there. And Secondly, how hard it is to maintain. I contact without making a joke or breaking out into some kind of awkward laughter. And so I'm learning that, that, that important practice is also a learned skill. We have. Learn how to do that. Because you're right. We typically people have conversations looking at something else, which which, which is in Mary context. My wife and I know this, it robs us of intimacy because I really believe what you're saying is that, that I contact is one of the most intimate things that people can do. It's an that was the first couple Bennett mentioned that to me. And then after that, floodgates flew open because everyone that wrote back that was one of the key things that they had said was that? I, I we cannot believe how you know, there's five minutes were then turning into like fifteen twenty minutes because they were falling back in love with each other again. And, and that's the hope for every God centered Matt marriages that you stay so intimately connected with each other. That nothing could pull your part. Absolutely in. It's amazing. How something is simple is uninterrupted icon, ttacked can help facilitate. A couple of to reach that kind of new level of intimacy and whatever season of marriage the rent, that's just amazing to me. And so, so what other benefits does rest have on relationships? Well man, I really have enjoyed just having a mama. Teens is how it really has helped for Nita understand the pressures that my teens go through and be able to be more open to making sure that they're having those times, for emotional rest now, everybody needs emotional rest to be able to, to express themselves and to fill accepted as, if they can say whatever they need to say that, that your love is unconditional with them, particularly with within your children in. So what I'm finding is that as I teaching us to parent grids, a lot of teams when I do the like youth meetings, and I use it away at corks at most churches, I'll meet with the teens and. Talk with them. And then later on, I'll you the on either talking on stage to the parents or something. And what I'm finding is that when I'm sitting down with the teens, one of the key things they say, is that I always feel like I have to be a hundred percent that if I'm not like the top of the at the top of the pack, you know, on the varsity team getting the as that if I don't knock, all of those things, check them off my list that somebody I'm letting my parents down in what really hurts me with that is as an internal medicine physician. I see that on the other end when I'm in the ICU with a team that's tried to commit suicide with parents who have no idea that they even thought that and the reason is they're not communicating. The parents not asking them to be perfect. But because there's this, this lack of emotional rest in social rest in the family unit the relationships feel. As if it's superficial, as our Facebook friendships, that we only show them, the good, I will never let the end to see what's really going on. And we usually blame that on the teen because all they're just the ANC anxious teen or they don't communicate at this age, or, but we can actually create environments to, to provide a restful environment for our kids to actually open up, our do you have any suggestions of how we could do that gas? The first one is there are no electric allowed at any table where we are sitting together as a family unit. I can tell you is just your voice. Absolutely no. Because what happens is you have like a prime moment to engage with your teen idol. I and taints don't don't like either. They, you mentioned about couples not really feeling comfortable with that will teams are even less comfortable with that. But typically with grownups 'cause they already feel cut a self conscious about. So am I and where am I at this whole this whole world thing. So you have that, that isolated time for that foot thick teen. Twenty minutes at your eating together, if it's at your house, you know, maybe an hour, if you're at a restaurant used that time to really have some date conversations, and don't make it seem like you're having a conversation. It could be it could cut it could be as natural as whatever flows at that moment. I know my within our own family. You know, with the news, there are so many controversial virtual things that are popping up now from wall being built, to, you know. Pro-life pro-choice, whatever there's all the stuff that's everywhere on the news in so whatever we're at a restaurant, Matiz playing we whatever showing up we start talking about it. That's great. And then you get to hear what they're sought Sar and if they're thoughts are two children are raised in the church, but then have influences from everywhere. They're friends, you know, social media YouTube in, so I'm always interested to hear. What are your thoughts on it? And if they're thoughts aren't lining up with what we believe description shows. That's a prime opportunity to at least show it to them. We can't force it down. They have to come into their own understanding of the bible. But we can at least make sure they seen it. And I think also silence, we have a thirteen year old, and we have three younger kids after that. But I think my experience in. It's not much right now, I'm, I'm just white knuckling, and Ashley praying for Jesus to return for my girls. Become that is my goal in indefinitely before they start dating. And so, you know, so you could pray for that as well, Sandra. But, but, but here if I also. Silence is a great facilitator for conversations at least my thirteen year old if I if I do not create a loud environment in if I remained silent he'll Trues to break the silence as well. And so that might be another great little tip. So no eletronics at the table to help facilitate that try to get some. I contact and if there is something either on the news or current event at their school or a situation, that's come up, or that they let them drive the conversation somewhat. If absolutely you want him to, to understand that, that it is that it is, actually a good thing to look in someone's eyes. I tell my sons octa time when they're talking to their teachers don't do what I see. So many teams day when I when I there sprints come over though, say, yes, miss Smith, and they're like looking at the grounds, and I'm thinking, I want you to look at me. I'm interested in you as a person. And I want you to understand that. And you can't see that with, unless you're looking at me because either wise. It's just superficial conversation. And we have so many so much that now in our lives that I don't want. I don't want teens to think that that is what, what a real relationship looks like it's all superficial. No, some of it needs to be intimate where you are face-to-face in your, your uncomfortably, any others atmosphere, so to speak, and you are doing like together in so I appreciate that. Because when I think about okay, how do I get rest especially my role? Relationships. Sometimes I make it more complicated in the fact that there is a simple first step or next step. And it's just I contact that we could actually develop a more restful time in our personal life. But also more intimate experience with those that we love. That is such a great great to now. Let me ask you a question. So I've actually taken this personal rest of Cessna that you have developed. It's on your website. I choose my best, life dot com. That's I choose my best, life dot com or you can find it more quickly on rest quiz dot com. Explain what the personal risk assessment will help us understand about ourselves. We wanna help people there seven types of grass. They say, oh my goodness. I've gotta do seven more things. Already tired. I'm not giving you seven more things to do because usually there's you don't need to replenish. All seven the already are usually stable on a few of them. There's typically one or two that are really the ones that are draining you and so the rest quizzes Talal you to be able to identify where you're at in each of the seven area. So the quiz takes about five ten minutes. It's there's lots of questions, but it is very comprehensive to be able to give accurate score. But when I tell people is you should not you should not stay on every question for longer. It's kind of a rapid fire you answer you go to the next and then it gives you a score at the end. Let you say the ones that just go to the highest on are the ones you have arrest deficit in the ones that she's grow score lower on or areas where you're already excelling at getting rest. So you don't have to really do much more. If you've already developed a lifestyle where you're getting adequate spiritual and. Personal and creative rest, but you're needing more mental wrath because you can't kind of turn your brain off when you try to go to sleep at night. Then you can focus your attention on doing those specific Mitchell rest activities to restore that area. And I will tell all the listeners because I have taken this quiz. It is accurate. I mean, I was surprised he's like you said, sometimes we have this general feeling that I don't feel rested, but we can't pinpoint, but I but questions were outstanding and you're right rapid fire. Works best on this quiz. It will not take much time at all. But most people have to I'm an overachiever. I have three areas to work on. So there you go. All right. So. And I've not telling anybody what they are because I haven't told my wife yet. So definitely gonna work on those. So, but I also as I've kind of looked at your website again. It's I choose my best, life dot com. You have a lot of wonderful resources ranging from health and wellness to career and relationships. And so as people are trying to explore a little bit more about you. I was strongly encouraged them to start with the rest assessment, and I started reading your book before I took the assessment, then I found out that you had it. I'm actually going to start rereading your book in light of what I know about myself, and I think that might be a good strategy for other people to to employ as well. Do you agree I do? And I can't honestly I can't remember in the book where we introduced the rest quiz. But I do recommend that for most people, I recommend that they actually take the quiz first and then read the book because some honestly, some people are so tired. I wrote the book with. Mindset of exhausted, people don't have time to read. They want to get to the to the facts and move on with it. So the chapters are extremely short. If you probably have noticed that and I try to make it so that the, the examples that are given are the at least three examples are given for each type of rest that there's enough a riot that depending on your own personality and likes and dislikes lifestyle that one of those three will be something you can begin to implement, and then there are hundreds more that you can do, but that at least kind of unlocks the mind to think about what can be seen as rest. It's not as not something that is, I cut cookie cutter kind of thing. It's really individualized inside. I really want people to think about what do I need, they'll restored in that particular area? And when I appreciate is that there's something in each chapter that I've identified with either a story or example, or something like that. And I've never read a book like that before where there's every chapter, there's something in the in the way. That you've explained the way designed each chapter makes total sense, now that I don't get a lot, a, some things don't speak to me, but something always does. And so, I wouldn't encourage folks at check this out, you can find it pretty much on Amazon and other places. Right. And we will also have links to your website, the rest quiz dot com and your book so people can kind of embrace what a more holistic rest filled life looks like. And so this is Dr Sandra Dalton Smith's book, sacred rest, and what's the tagline again? Recover your life. Renew your energy and restore your sanity is amazing. And so, I really appreciate you writing this book, and I don't think I've ever read a book like this comprehensively looking from a spiritual emotional, and physical dynamic of what rest looks like. And so, again, thank you so much. I'm getting so much out of it. And I'm just I'm not gonna tell everybody where you live. But I'm gonna next time in your town. I'm gonna knock on your door. To stop by. All right. Well, thanks everybody for tuning into day. Don't forget to subscribe, and please. This is such an important topic. I would encourage that you share this episode with someone that you love in his easy to do. Either I tunes or Google play or either from our website, and just, please remember that even closer relationships, rests filled relationships and relationships that actually give you energy and not suck energy from you or closer than you think thanks for tuning into day, everybody.

Dr Dalton Smith Dr Sandra Dalton Smith feeling tired Dr Sondra Dalton Smith CBS MSNBC Everest France FOX Google football Overby Facebook Ted wi Tom Brady Cessna Orlando
Ep. 31: Answering Your Questions, Part 4

Cutting The Distance with Remi Warren

32:11 min | 1 year ago

Ep. 31: Answering Your Questions, Part 4

"Welcome back to another exciting episode of cutting the distance podcast. I'm excited to be here because this episode is all about you guys. I'm answering your questions this week. These are some of my favorite podcasts. Did you because I make sure that? I hit specific topics and a lot of these questions that I've compiled. There's multiple questions on the same topic now in all honesty. Almost all the podcasts are about you guys because a lot of the direction I choose to go each week depends on the type of questions that come in but these are just be answering specific people's questions so what I WANNA do is. I'm going to talk a little bit about some testimonials that we've got an answer a few questions and then we'll even Maybe give some life advice. So let's get it going. You know if this is actually the first podcast you're listening to. It will really help you become a better hunter now. I can say that because I personally maybe like the tips that we give but I think that it's better coming from someone else so let's read some testimonials so the first one comes from Dan. He says he's an avid listener. Any lives at east coast but tries to make it out west annually to hunt somewhere. Dan writes your New Year's resolution. Episode made me think about what else I could do to make my experience even better and I've started leaving my boots along with pack containing three ten pound bills wrapped in towels at my front door. And just put it on every day while walking the dog. Also your episodes about still hunting made me realize how much I watch my feet while walking. So I've added keeping my head up while walking. The dog to my daily routine is well turns out. I can turn a dog walk into a daily exercise in being a better hunter. Keep up the Great Work Dan. That's awesome that is some inspiration right there. There's so many things you can do in your daily life to make you a better hunter and you can take some of these tips into everyday things just like walking around keeping your head up paying attention to things when you go on a walk or an exercise throwing that pack on wearing your boots outside of the hunting season all those little things are just huge when it comes to now turning what you're doing in your daily life into its hunting season. And how am I going to be more successful? So thanks for that Dan. We've got one more testimony will and as always feel free to email. I'll give you guys the email at the end of the podcast. But you know we'll be looking for some testimonials and some other things so these are great. There's a lot of them and I love reading when people have success from something in this podcast so this one. I thought this one was really awesome. Says Ready just harvested my first pig with a bow last night while waiting on some does a. Sondra pigs ran by my stand at about one hundred ten yards out. Usually I would have waited. Waited out hope. They came into range but had recently listened to the practice on small game podcast and decided to expand my repertoire. I got down slipped off my boots. Thanks to the shoes off. Situation episode in crept into twenty yards smoked a nice little forty pounds sow and was able to share it with a buddy who had much success this year. I never would've had the confidence to try and stock without your show. And I'm so blessed to be in a situation where I can share the harvest with others. Thank you for putting together such helpful content. It's benefiting both listeners. And those around us. Please keep up. What you're doing. It helps more than you know. Respectfully Nate Mason thanks. I am super stoked that worked out for you. It's really cool to to hear people kind of doing something a little bit different. Maybe getting out of their comfort zone and finding some success. I know a lot of people that. Listen to this podcast. It's very western based hunting yet. There are tips and tricks the everybody can pull no matter where you hunt whether you're in North America the South Pacific Europe. It doesn't really matter where you hunt a lot of the things that I talk about. Ring true to so many different places species other things. So I'm I'm super excited to hear that it's great when somebody finds success in a way that they didn't think and maybe try something a little bit different things outside the box and comes home with some meat. Jump into the first question. I always love questions about if I were to think about something that I would do. I mean I I honestly could probably do in. Elk podcast a week and just make this a full-on podcast on elk hunting. I've done a lot of elk hunting. I have a lot of experience with it. I've guided professionally for ELK. I've spent thousands of days chasing elk throughout every season. So when it comes to talking about how elk. I'm super passionate about it. I love it and I feel like there's a lot of things that I've picked up. Just doing it so much that I can share so anytime L. QUESTION COMES IN I. I'm super excited about that. And in the future one thing you can look forward to is maybe a good nother series on elk hunting because the calling last year. I was probably one of my favorite wants to do. You could probably tell my passion about it while I was doing it and people you know a a lot of great response now I understand. Not Everybody elk hunts. But Gosh everybody should in this. Hopefully this podcast will inspire people to try it if you haven't so here's this question. My question is about elk sent. I've come to learn from you and others elk rely heavily on a strong sense of smell to avoid predators. But I never hear you or others talk about any sent blockers sprays wafers etc to us to prevent this much like the ones we use in the Midwest whitetail hunting. Is there anything that is effective to use for sent blocking? And do you use anything? Thanks Dan so that is a great question and this is a question that has come up so many times. I just I can't even there's just like between social media this email so many questions about sent now when you're white till you have to understand the type of hunting you're doing and how sin control plays in so. I'm not going to discredit sent control when it comes to stand hunting for white tails because when you're stationary you do everything in your power to get the wind right for your but you also aren't one hundred percent sure which direction the animals coming in from. So there's there's sprays there's What are those Ozanich type ozone blockers? There's sent wafers that now sent way for viewer familiar with it would be like a Doan. Estrus sent on almost like a cotton type wafer Piece of plastic. It just depends on what it's on but it holds the scent so it could be maybe a buck year and sent others other things like cover since people a long time ago. My Dad used to use for antelope hunting. Out of a blind used to us. Just SKUNK SPRAY. So those would be to mask the scent and things like dough s stress or Buck Ear Inn or whatever maybe to kind of be a to mask the human scent as well as maybe uses an attracted. So when you're sitting there you know the Winds GonNa do something. You're going to base your stand on where you think the animals are going to come in from and then you're going to pick a stand so that you're down wind from that but deer might circle around. They might come in from a different direction. The winds may swirl and you can do nothing about it because you're stationary so using sent control in those scenarios may give you a slight advantage if the wind shifts or starts blowing toward an animal. And they don't wind you because you're you're up in a tree you're using some kind of sent control and it gives you a little bit of an advantage over the animal sense of smell because for almost all the animals we hunt big game animals. Their sense of smell is way tuned in and it's their first instinct is to always run when they smell danger whereas if they see something off they might kind of look stare and you can get over it. You cannot trick the nose of an elk grid here now. Why does that not translate to Western big game hunting style of hunting so when we're talking about spot and stock and moving around elk hunting in order to kill elk? You could sit a stand in. That is possible so I would say that if you are stand. Hunting for Elk Scher us the scent blockers use the sprays. Use the ozone's if you're sitting in a blind or whatever you can even use sent wafers whatever now if you're hiking around that stuff is immediately rendered useless as soon as you start hiking because what happens is your body starts sweating. The sweat goes on the outside of your clothing. You're moving around so in order sent control for spot. Stock Hunting still hunting. Hunting on the ground is just using the wind. There's no better sent control then getting the wind right. So that's GONNA be your number one focus. It doesn't matter how much spray spray down with if that wind shifts after you've been hiking and running around the mountains they're gonNA smell you. I know because I've tried it. I used to bring a bottle of spray down stuff on hunts with me before it started meal. I'd spray down and it's not a bad idea if you're if you've got some swirling winds maybe it'll give you a slight advantage. You will notice the first day that you hunt. Animals are less likely to win you but on back country hunt you. You aren't showering every day. Your clothes aren't clean. You know all wear the same pair of clothes every day for five days. Just because that's the feasible way to hunt so sent control. Kind of just renders itself useless because when the wind shifts no matter what you do on top of it they're gonNA smell you now specifically with elk. I have had a guiding one time I had a guy bring one of those elk sent wafers so it was like a cow estrus pinned on his hat about the first day. He got back in the truck and I said Hey. Let me see that sent way for and then I threw out the window. The reason is is because the first thing is a lot of times when you're chasing elk or whatever they can smell the other elk herd in if they smell the cow next to them but your sent blows to them. They're still going to smell. You like the live elk won't mask your scent so just adding it to yourself really isn't can help the other crucial thing in elk. Hunting is a use my nose a lot when hunting I hunt into the wind? And there's so many times I would say Irene. Know what percentage seventy percent of the time when I'm hunting in somewhere that's Especially archery season or in thicker. Cover all smell the before. I see him and accuse me into knowing where the car where they've been alker very pungent animals you can smell wallows. You can smell where they've been by urine on the ground. You can actually smell the smell of an elk. Once you practice it. You can actually distinguish the smell between the smell of a bowl. The smell of account and the smell of wearables Ben and the smell of a live animal. And I've used that training of the sense of smell to turn that into success. So if you have say a cent wafer that's blocking your sense of smell. You're really actually just limiting yourself. So the key is used the wind. Use your nose and you're going to be a lot more successful so you will find more success without those things now. If you decide you're going to a blind or something like that feel free go for it. You know if you hike in your blind hiking in one set of clothes and change your clothes spray down sitting your tree stand. Sent control works for Tristan. Hunting does not work for hiking around spot in stock hunting. Here's another question so as keep it in the in elk family here says hi remmy. Thanks for the cutting. The distance podcast. I'm learning so much and as a beginner. Learning a ton from Info you share. I've listened every show you put out and there's no better research for me. Would you be willing to do a show on how to go from basic archery skills and some hunting experience to archery hunting elk? It seems like a huge leap for me. I've hunted for pigs with a guide and done waterfowl upland hunting with friends and mentors but there seems to be a huge leap required to get into something like archery elk hunting. What kind of plan could I put myself on to be ready next season? And then he says. I'm already working on my New Year's resolutions to be a better hunter although I have to admit I've done zero of the hundred miles with a pack. Thanks Evan all right so what I'm GONNA do. I think I'll just break it down into five steps. Okay so these are going to be the five steps if you have not hunted elk before archery elk. Here's how you're going to get started. Step one you're GONNA pick the area to hunt so what you gotta do. You gotTA narrow it down to a state any unit that right there once once. You've decided that then you can start to make your plan so there's only a few states where this can be possible now because we gotta we gotTa make a plan. Redoing it for this year. So Utah is available. Montana's not do yet so you can still obtain a tag in Montana. You could look to Idaho and you can look to Colorado Wyoming. It's too late. You had to do that by January. So that one's out and then there's other states that have a lot of draws but you're gonNA WANNA pick an area that's more of a general unit where you can kind of guarantee yourself tag so General Area Montana General Areas in Utah. Some of those. You can actually get a later to have leftover tags if you go back. There's actually a podcast on draws and units and tags so definitely listen to that and then kind of make a plan and find somewhere to hunt once you have that you can narrow it down to a unit. You're going to go to now step to plan a week in mid September. So you're GONNA archery hunt. You WanNa find hunt that hits the peak of the Rut is just GonNa be better for you. I prefer either this the mid September. So I'm actually GONNA pull up my calendar right now. I'm going to pick some good dates for you. They don't have them off the top of my head but normally around the nineteenth I always just find. The nineteenth is kind of like peak Rut. So this week you've got a Saturday the nineteenth and you could hunt to the twenty sixth man. That should be a good date to hunt a little bit. Early would be that week before. But if you'RE GONNA go weakened to weaken if as the pick one weekend I'd go the nineteenth to the twenty six. That's just you know pe- correct if you can. You can swing it so step to pick a date in September and you WanNa try to get corrupt because if the Bulls are bugling. You're going to be easier to find it's easy for L. Cuttings cool for something during archery season for people that have never done it. Because if you're in an area and you aren't finding elk sometimes they'll just yell at you until you were there like. I'm over here dude. So that's great now step three. This is the research section. You've got your unit. You know you've got your dates. Now Talk to people that have maybe hunted the area. Go use social media for good of fine people that have maybe hunted that certain area talk to them maybe Talk read some stuff on fishing game websites about the unit. You'll be surprised how much information the Department of Wildlife Reach State. Has You can go to each specific unit. They'll tell you where the highest concentrations of animals are in the unit and it was just really help you narrow it down then you're going to E. Scout at home at night. Maybe every night before bed you can take your maps out the Onyx Hunt. App. That's honestly the like I literally. I don't think there's a day that goes by that. I'm not on that just completely scouting new areas looking at new stuff. And you're trying to find something new because it's got. The unit borders has got everything. Go back to one of my e scouting podcasts. Realis- intuit with that in mind. Like have it out. Look at it. Listen to it and I'm going to be doing some more indepth stuff in the future. So just keep listening to the podcast. But that'll help do some research on that and just start figuring out where you're going to make a plan take some notes and once you have a plan figura okay. I'm going to check out this area so up until that point step four is going to be practice practice with your calls your bow as well as just like getting shape do that. Do your training follow through with your becoming a better hunter. Get that hundred miles in the summer. Shoot your bow as much as possible and practice with your calls. The best time to practice with an alcohol is when you're driving by yourself have some. If you don't know how to use a diaphragm call get a couple diaphragm calls US those. It's so handy to have a call in your mouth. You don't have to use your hands but then also get some read calls practice and bugling practice some cow calls and I'll try to do a few more calling out calling episodes and feature to use. Oh but there's plenty of resources out there so that's a practice. Those calls now step five execute. Your plan you're going to pack up your truck you're going to do whatever it takes you're GONNA get out you're going to get into the unit. You're going to have a plan based on a map you're gonNA follow that map and then start hunting. Start Looking for elk. Once you're there you're gonNA have a lot better chance of being successful. Then if you just think about it and say oh. That's something that I don't know how to do. The key is to just dive in to get out there whether you're successful or not. You'RE GONNA learn something on that trip. That's going to help you in the future either way but odds are if you're out there the chances of getting a lot better than or infinitely better than if you stay home. Also if it's your first time man invite someone to go with you. Find somebody that might be interested. It's a lot easier mentally and just splitting cost of travel and doing something new like that. If you've got a buddy with us to go out with a buddy find a buddy to go if you and enjoy the experience and that's it just do it and also one thing to think about when you start planning that trip. Scroll through the list of the past podcasts. There's something that kind of covers every one of those steps so once you have that in mind re listen to those because you'll probably pick up things that you missed the first time if you already listened to it and I suggest that for everyone if you're if you're planning something there's something in one of these podcasts kind of lines up with what you're planning on doing something that you want to learn more about do that and then maybe you can take some notes on things. Okay I need to. I need to know this a little bit and then find out a little more research on it. Maybe find some books or some other online videos. Whatever you can to help you with that. I like this question because it relates to a lot of things I think actually Kinda wanted to do a whole podcast on this but I wanNA talk about it just for a little bit here. So this is early season scouting tips for deer and elk as in what to look for in scouting for elk as far as terrain. How early and wind should I stop scouting for deer elk? And what to do if you're seeing animals during this scouting season but they disappeared during the hunting season. So this is a great question This from Jesse Adam so I really liked that question because it is something that happens a lot. I think if you have access to scouting hunting area starting in the summer is a great time to start now. I actually would consider consider scouting almost year round if you can so. I like to go out in the springtime in look for for shedding others. It's just an enjoyable time. You see a lot of animals out there like two later. Once the winters weren't off. Don't go too early so late spring early summer. I go kick around look for sheds. While you're doing that you're gonNA see a Lotta animals on what would have been the winter range now. It's not necessarily going to be where they're at during the hunting season. So there's a lot of things like migration other things but understand those animals in your unit where they wintering. Then you're going to work backwards and say where are they coming from? So the odds are that. They're they've moved from a high country area in the summer to down low winter range winter. They're spending their time on north slopes that burn off snow. They've got a lot of feed and feel safe and then in the summer most the Bulls and box will go up higher into the mountains. Now it's summertime okay. We're going to be up at the top of the mountains. This is where we're going to find the animals so what I do then as I make notes of places that the animals are hanging out. So there's two type groups of animals there are migratory and then there's resonant heard so the resident stuff is going to be the stuff that's not necessarily up at the top so if you go to the top of the mountain you're in the Alpine. You'RE GONNA see animals there because a lot of animals will summer there. Now if you're planning on hanging say an archery season early season you're probably better off scouting and looking for resident animals. Animals that are in an area that they don't have to move they probably won't change between winter and summer range. Those animals will probably stick around longer. But if you do go into the Alpine you start. Seeing animals. Odds are that you will not find them when it comes time for your hunting season. So if you've if you've gone in the Alpine you see a bunch of mule deer especially they'll be velvet up they'll be bachelor it up. And then you've got say a September muzzleloader hunting and you're like man. I watched these deer all summer. I go up there at the beginning. September and I cannot find a single animal. What's going on. Well you have to factor in what happened so for mule deer. They've shed their antlers. And I find that most animals like if they're in the Alpine whatever they'll drop from their summary about a thousand feet elevation and they'll find a spot where they kind of just bulk up and prepare for the Rut. That's coming on now. Elkin dear different. So let's just let's just pick mule deer and I'll just talk about meal deer and elk. You can kind of factor in a different way because what happens after the summer elk. Rut In September so the Bulls might be in the Alpine. Now they're going to go to groups cows if you're scouting for elk. There's no time too early to understand. Where as a resident group of cows living and then that group of cows will act as a magnet. Now if you're hunting later in the season you're going to decipher where the elk summering and where they wintering and then kind of create on your map. A line of like okay. This is probably where they're traveling from now. Not Saying you have to find the same elk on the winter aging of finding on submarines and cut him off. But you can kinda decipher okay. They're here they're going to hear they're going to be somewhere mid range living where it's secluded timber. They've got everything they need in between during that main hunting season so that might be something like October November. You can kind of figure out there route along the way and then hunt those areas later in the year so knowing where they are early knowing where they are late can pay off now. Something like mule deer. They shed their velvet. They're going to drop down say a thousand feet innovation. The reason they do that. They're bulking up. They can be in the timber more because the Antler's and no longer soft They might even break off their bachelor groups and then they'll start to prepare for the Rut. So they're just going to bulk up because they're going to Rut November. But what you'll find is if you're seeing during the summer say in the Alpine. You're going to now concentrate on areas of thicker cover lower on the mountain. So you'll know where they were and now pick spots in that same general area. Say Down the Canyon in the thicker cover and really spend a lot more time looking because they're going to be harder to see They won't be out in. The open is often but they should still be in that same general area so. I hope that that's the way that I think about it. And it's proven a lot of success over the years all right. Let's move onto the next one. Says this actually just addresses something that talked about earlier so said remmy. You noted that you'll be speaking in Chantilly Virginia on March twenty seventh. So I'll be speaking of the Pope in young club. There says I don't see on the schedule when I'll be so if I happen to know give some info thanks Leland so yeah I appreciate that so Friday the twenty seventh. I'll be at the Pope in young convention in Virginia in Chantilly Virginia They've got like a archery. Shoot around the hotel. There should be pretty sweet. They've actually acquired twenty one twenty two archery world records like the actual antlers mounts everything and then the the core archery course is gonna be like reproductions of a lot of the world record. So it's Kinda Cool. You can shoot a foam three d target that represents the world record archery is far as size and everything. So that's GonNa be pretty sweet so on the twenty seventh in the morning. I'm going to be doing a western big game. Qna I think that might be at nine. Am I don't think that the actual schedules out yet. But this is just it should be by the time. This goes so in the morning of Dewey Acuna. Then there's a luncheon panel it eleven and then there's a dinner at night I think it starts at six or whatever and I'll be the keynote speech during that and they're going to do some other cool stuff during that dinner so if you're in the area traveling to that event try to be there to catch up with me Friday the day because I actually have to fly out in the next day. I'm going hunting for red deer in South America. So if you WANNA catch me on that awesome I'll be around and I think even Thursday I might be walking around shooting that core so I really WanNa do that. Sounds really fun. So if you find me on the course jump in shoot together. Let's let's jump into a little life advice you know that's always fun. Something a little bit out of the box it says remmy. I've got a monster of a question for you. It's a rough one looking to get into bow hunting. The hardest part is convincing. The I need a bow when I've been rifle hunting for the past six years of our marriage. Now here's the thing. I smoked Iraq of ribs and pork shoulder on my homemade smoker last weekend. She confronted me after. I was complaining about my smoker and told me she's on board with me buying a new pellet grill but can't get onboard with a Bo. What say you do? I keep fighting the uphill battle or do I concede and get the smoker. I told you this was a rough one from Chad. Chad in Ellsberg Washington. All right Chad. That is a tough one. Here's a thing I think. Maybe maybe you're just going on now you built a smoker and the smoker works and I understand wanting the Pella girl so if you can get the pellet grill. Gosh that's a tough one. You've already your rifle hunting. That's great. Hopefully you're bringing home some meat. Here's my thought. If you WANNA get into archery hunting but your spouse might not be on board. I think that you should make it a thing that the both of you can do together now. I don't know your wife but I know that shooting a bow doesn't necessarily have to be about hunting and there's plenty of people who I know whose wives really enjoy shooting. I've I've got friends. That don't even hunt that they go like I didn't even know you could shoot a bow and not hunt but what I would suggest is. Maybe before you do anything. Make it a date. Go find a really good range that has rental equipment and a good instructor. Go out and make it a thing that the two of you can do together. Because I've found that if there's anything you want to add to your life and your taking time away from one thing and putting it into another if you can make it about the both of you if she starts to enjoy it then you're going to get a lot more support for it now. I don't know how you and your wife work like if you're good coach or if you know new into bow hunting maybe both find somebody. There's plenty of ranges all over the place where they get kids. Women new hunters new shooters just into shooting. Find something like that. Make It make it a thing. Make it fun. Go do that and see if she enjoys it because the act of shooting a Bo is really. I find it extremely enjoyable. I just got my wife into shooting and she absolutely loves it now. She enjoys hunting too but it wasn't something she was always into. So actually just. Yesterday we were out shooting in the backyard. She shot a perfect shot on the target. And then actually like Robin Hood at the. Aero and once that happened I mean pretty sure. She's hooked for life so if you can get her on board. This might seem devious. But if you can get her on board she's GonNa be way more likely for you to get on board so I would go that route because if it's GonNa be an uphill battle just make something that you guys can do together. And if it doesn't work out doesn't work out you should definitely take the offer of the pellet grill though while it's on the table because that doesn't mean that the bows out of the question forever. You know. Small victories man small victories. So if you got that Pella girl you can make her happy. You can keep on cooking some good stuff. And maybe I don't know or you just perfect that homemade smoker sell those on ebay or trade a guy on ebay homemade smoker. For used though. That's also a great idea by the smoker trade. The old smoker for used go a little bit of life advice. I don't know that was kind of fun. So I'm going to really dig deep for next week and find some fun stuff to talk about going through some of these questions because I couldn't really get to all of them but I'll tell you what inclosing if you have some questions. Maybe you listen to this. Podcast other podcasts. And you want your question answered email me at Remmy at the meat eater dot com and then you guys can throw in some testimonials you can throw in some questions and if you just want some general life advice that is in about hunting. Throw those out there to kind of fun as well. I'm sure just mix it up a little bit to help in the Organization of it if you have a testimonial put that in the first part of the subject line if you have a question put that in there if you just have some life advice. Put that in there. We'll get some funny stuff so I'll try to do these. I try to. It's fun to do about once a month or whatever but if you've got those questions email them there and then if you've just got short questions you might not be a podcast question at Romy warned instagram. You can reach me there. I try to get as many as I can so feel free to reach out there as well. Now if you don't have a question or you enjoy listening to this podcast. What HAVE YOU? My next tip is to share this podcast with people you know that might also enjoy it and get them to subscribe. And if you aren't a subscriber subscribe. Why Subscribe. Because then the podcasts are there. It's easier to listen to and it'll just help you in the long run. Hopefully so if you subscribe already get a friend to subscribe. If you don't subscribe go ahead and subscribe if you like the podcast share because hopefully we'll be able to make everybody a better hunter and you guys if you've got friends that listen you know. Discuss some of the tips plan hunt together. Do something new and then tell me about it send me a testimonial and if you got questions on whatever you're doing shoot me those questions so until next week. Keep the questions rolling her.

Remmy Dan Elk archery Bulls Elk Scher Montana Utah Virginia elk summering North America Sondra US Onyx Hunt ebay Robin Hood peak Rut South America
NPR News: 07-02-2021 9PM ET

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04:40 min | Last month

NPR News: 07-02-2021 9PM ET

"Live from npr news. i'm jack speer. John in minneapolis is ordering the city to increase the number of active police officers in the midst of a surge in violent crime. Workm- npr's martin kosti the minneapolis. Police department has lost about a quarter of its cop. Since the murder of george floyd while shootings have increased sondra samuels lives on the city's hard hit north side and she says while she wants police reform that should not mean less policing during a wave of violence. Eighty three percent of the gun. Fat victims are black. We only make up twenty percent of the city so we need a transform department and we need police staffed at the proper levels samuels and other sued the city for letting the number of cops fall below the minimum set by the city charter. A judge ordered higher staffing. But there's likely to be a ballot initiative this fall to replace the current department martin kosti. Npr news minneapolis officials in north miami beach. Say they've now ordered the evacuation of a condominium about five miles from the scene of last week's deadly collapse of another building city announcing an audit prompted by last week's building collapse finds the one hundred fifty six unit buildings both structurally and electrically unsafe residents hauled suitcases packed items into cars today. Meanwhile at the scene of the partial collapse of the champlain tower south additional bodies were recovered. Bring the confirmed death. Toll there to twenty two dozens more remain unaccounted for. President bind says the economy is on the move and cova nineteen is on the run but his npr's asthma hollered reports as we head into the holiday weekend. The contagious delta variant is spreading. The white house plans to celebrate this. Fourth of july is a return to normal life. After months of pandemic restrictions. the president is inviting some one thousand military personnel in essential workers to the white house lawn. Still biden says he is concerned that people who are not vaccinated could catch this new co variant and spread it to other unvaccinated. People concerned. There's going to be a major outbreak in other words that we're going to have another epidemic nationwide but and concern lies will be lost. The white house had set a goal of getting at least one vaccine dose to seventy percent of adults by independence day. But they're expected to fall a bit short us mukalla. Npr news the whitehouse. Firefighters fighters in california. Say they're making progress against wildfires in northern california that burned several homes and forced people to evacuate three big fires of so far scorched upwards of sixty square miles of land in the mount shasta region damage was reported the salt fire which prompted evacuation in the unincorporated community of lake had north of the city of reading to the north container of the lava fire near mount shasta increased to twenty seven percent work on the tenant fire and the call with national forest continues on wall street. Today the dow was up one hundred fifty two points. The nasdaq rose one hundred. Sixteen points this is. Npr airport workers in paris are protesting pay cuts and beers owner beardsley reports. Hundreds of union activists blocked a busy international terminal. Charles de gaulle airport today after talks broke down between employees and management striking workers beating drums and blowing horns and whistles blocked passport control at charles de gaulle airport on the first big weekend of summer vacation. Departures workers are being asked to take a pay cut due to huge losses during the last year of the pandemic aeroports-de-paris lost more than one point. Five billion dollars the ceo of air. Lpo the party said no employees would lose more than four percent of his salary and the reductions are to avoid layoffs. Ceo augustan their home says the strike only concerns the ground crew. And should not cause any flight. Cancellations charles de gaulle airport is one of the busiest hubs in europe. Eleanor beardsley npr news. Charles de gaulle. Airport paris tesla susan delivered a total of two hundred one thousand two hundred and fifty electric vehicles during the second quarter as the company overcame a global computer ship shortage of this caused problems for virtually all automakers sales while slightly short of wall street estimates. Still we're better than the company's first quarter numbers put tesla on a path to double last year's annual deliveries of just under five hundred thousand sales for the april through. June quarter were nearly double from the same period a year ago in the corner virus pandemic force tesla and many other large vehicle manufacturers to shut down their assembly lines crude oil futures prices close modestly lower today oil down seven cents a barrel to seventy five sixteen a barrel on the new york mercantile. Exchange i'm jack speer npr news.

martin kosti npr news minneapolis jack speer george floyd sondra samuels charles de gaulle airport npr Npr mukalla Npr news north miami beach samuels white house Police department
Chapter 7: Forgiveness

Carruth

45:38 min | 3 years ago

Chapter 7: Forgiveness

"A listener. Note, this story contains adult language and some graphic descriptions, violence. Previously on Caruth defendant, Ray Lamar Caruth is guilty of conspiracy to commit murder, but not guilty of the first degree is walking out of prison Tober, and that was a death penalty case in a lot of ways. We sort of won that case. If what they're saying is that because Watkins took the plea and Caruth refused to take it. They made their decision based on some subjective weighing processed. They did not follow the law, whether he got nineteen years like he did or if he would have gotten closer to forty years, like van Brit d, it's Rico still dead, and it's not bringing her bag. You could be having a bad day in here. If you're lucky enough to be working with, we never mind always say, he's into smile ministry. You know, he's already walking in his and he, he's happy. So van Brett Watkins. And I, since I've met with him have become correspondents. He is written me since I have met with him in prison for that one, three hour plus interview. I'd say at least fifteen times. So today just now opening this, but this is the first time I've actually received a card from him. So I can tell it's a cord from the thickness of the envelope. He always calls himself Monsieur Monsieur van Brit Pierre Watkins is how we always puts himself on the return address. And he says, sir, enclosed police, find a card to miss Sandra Adams. You may read it and then Ford it to her and he signs it New York. That was his nickname. All right. So the card starts piece, miss Adams and chancellor. I read the last lie dumber and dumber recently did with Mr. Scott. Fowler he refers to cruise sometimes as dumb and dumber, dumber and dumber. He's done this for many of these fifteen letters and you don't believe that BSE there. So thank you for defending the God's honest truth I told, oh, so many years ago, tell the world the absolute truth, all the things I've done. I don't care if I make it to two thousand and forty or forty three or forty six. This is. Is what I am now after fifty seven years, what I care about that Allah forgives my lifetime of major and minor sins that he allows me to go to heaven and not to let me have to eat the nasty foods and DO see DPS mess halls. I'll take the good or bad decision from Allah without crying and line like dumbest, aka Ray Wiggins. PS as you see zebra never sheds at stripes nor does a leopard lose it spots. He still unrepentant. If that's a danger to you and chancellor. From the Charlotte observer in McClatchy studios. This is Caruth. I'm Scott Fowler, and this is chapter seven, forgiveness. This podcast is proud to partner with the Children's Defense Fund for more than forty years. CDF's work has been rooted in the idea that we can never give up on any child no matter where they come from the challenges they face or the color of their skin. Learn how you can help improve the odds for all children at Children's Defense dot org, slash never give up. This podcast is also supported by the national coalition against domestic violence for forty years. The grassroots voice of victims and survivors and the catalyst for society that no longer. Tolerates domestic abuse learn how you can take a stand against domestic violence at NC a DV dot org. Now back to her story. Here at shout and family development in south Charlotte, chancellor Lee is hard at work doing things he was never supposed to do. From his room into the kitchen? Yeah. So why I want to go get a snack. Maybe Sturkey has been the teenagers physical therapists for fourteen years now. I've only seen the last year ago so that I will walk beside him and not hold onto him that I can walk and go down the hall. Now, I do have him in the corner of my even now as I cross the room, I helped my were my, but I can go le- you got this and I can walk over and Pat you on the shoulder and come back and feel like we still going to be there and be safe. Chancellor Lee is almost nineteen doctors predicted. He might never walk and progress has been slow, but it has been progress. We started off on the treadmill where he could hold on and I can control the speed and that way point three miles per hour. He could get a heel toe, which treadmill start in the gym at point five. So slower than the standards treadmill at the gym that it was two hands held. So I'm not as steady with my hands and now we've progressed to go into one handheld. That's what probably in the last six months, we've been working the hardest on his trying to get that. He'll to walk this transition into adulthood. Hood is a crucial time for anyone living with cerebral palsy and chancellor Leah's surpassing fiscal goals at child and family development, but Sturkey admits the question of how reliant chancellor Li will be on Sondra in the future does linger. Again, he's a marginal community ambulation. The goal would be, I think he's starting some in the home to walk on his own, but we want him to be able to walk out in the water community, I think is a step in the future. But for now, our goal would be that he can walk in the home independently and be safe that that she doesn't have to be next to him everywhere he goes the house. And if he decides he wants to get up and get the remote because he's always rushing me because if I'm getting. Hello. He's already. Here. I'm like, I'm coming Lee. Can you imagine being though it's appropriate independence had to have for him to be able to go across the room, but whatever it is he wants and come back. Okay, right safely. Twenty twelve. Jon Embree sewn HBO real sports piece in which Bryant Gumbel interviewed Sondra and chancellor Li at the time Embree was the head coach at the university of Colorado. It had been nearly twenty years since he had helped to successfully recruit crew back when Embree was an assistant with the buffaloes shortly after midnight with Watkins and his accomplices waiting in a nearby car Peru end Adams left his house in separate cars to supposedly spend the night at her place. After I got to the hospital, I started Collin Raye because I'm thinking, oh my gosh, she didn't notice he's been shot. Did you really think it'd be that easy and you'd get away with my fault is that I didn't do like a hitman should do, which is kill everybody on the same. The coach grew close to Caruth as the wide receiver rose to all American status, and that kept in contact after Caruth was drafted by the Carolina Panthers. Then the receiver got arrested tried and sent to prison for conspiring to murder. Sharia main. You're watching all this and you go what is going on? And I just remember as you know, thinking to myself, how could this happen? Like what would drive someone to do this? And then what would drive him to do something like this? Like I just don't get it. I still don't get it. Embry also wasn't sure what to do about it, but but twenty twelve ahead started a nonprofit called buffs for life that supported former Colorado athletes through personal hardships, Buffa life on argon ization of group of men who are Buffalo's Numa those coal practices. Remember the the agony of being a buffalo, and then also the joys of being buffet is family looking after. After those. Founders. The wife is. Sondra and chancellor Lee had no connection to Colorado except for the fact that a former Colorado star had impacted their lives. So horrifically United, always kind of wonder what had happened with Sandra Lee. You know, haven't had the relationship with Ray and familiarity with all of that, and we're able to get a hold of her reached out tour, and then we're able to fly out for that very first tournament buffs for live flu, Sandra, and her grandson out to Colorado for the organization's first charity golf tournament when everyone met her Leo's. Like I mean, everyone just forbear like a term just fell in love, just being around them and seeing her and her heart and his seeing the courage and the fight and the drive that Lee has. It was incredible having a grandchild that's born disabled. People are saying, don't even try to do anything with them. He's not gonna be one, eight walks. They're all these things that he's never gonna do, and she never. Hit on them and she didn't blink bus for life has raised more than one hundred sixty thousand dollars for the Adamses from donors all over the world. The donations have helped cover the cost of chancellor lease medical care and living expenses. They raised enough money so that in 2017, Sandra and her grandson were able to move into a new house better suited for the disabled inside there are frame photos everywhere of chancellor, Li as an infant and of Sondra wrapping her arms around him and just inside the front door. One of sharia showing off her pregnant belly smiling about that future that same full of limitless possibility. In the new home, both of their bedrooms are on the first floor and an electric stair lift helps chancellor league to the second floor. Outside the front door is a welcome math that says, whether you come to visit or just arrest. When you enter our home, may you be blessed? Embry told me that by getting to know the family, he has been. I wish everybody can meet her and really just sit down and talk with her because. Easy for people to pay? Well, I know I would do this. I would do this ever have that over happened here, somewhat. It'll of what could be your worst nightmare as a parent. It truly does or shoot to look at yourself and really. At least for me question one thing. Sure. I know I'm a better person for the times. I've been able to talk with her and just be around and see it. Like she never says, I've never once heard her say, why me not one time. Money is often tight for the Adamses for nearly two decades Sondra has spent her days as chancellor lease fulltime caregiver after Caruth and the other three conspirators were convicted of criminal charges related to Serie, killing Sondra filed a civil wrongful death lawsuit against the four men soon Mecklenburg Superior Court. Judge awarded her nearly six million dollars in damages, but the four men had been sentenced to a combined seventy five years in prison. Caruth had been declared indigent to this day. The only money Sondra says she's received from Caruth was a single ten thousand dollar payment as lawyers divvied up Caruth NFL retirement benefit. Hits. That's all we have gotten from Ray Caruth ever and you know, the lawyers have to be paid. So I didn't even get to keep all of the ten thousand. So I'm really hoping he can get out and get a book deal or movie deal or something that will pay chance of what he's do because I do intend to keep that active. Maybe he would have to at least have some financial accountability because I've had to make innumerable sacrifices in my life to take care of my grandson, and I don't feel the shame in anyway that it should be compensated embryos role is the primary fundraiser for the is somewhat ironic. He's long coached for teams that play against Carolina and has no Charlotte connection at all. The Panthers of course, are Caruth former team. They distance themselves from him long ago. And largely did the same with Sandra and chancellor early. There's no really hard feelings between me and the Panthers. I think they did what they should have done from a business perspective. This was not the Panthers that committed the crime. This is Ray rude. He's on his own. They made the best business decision for the team. A Panthers spokesman declined to comment on the record for this project. But earlier this year, Jerry Richardson, the team's founding owner sold the Panthers to hedge fund manager. David Tepper as temper told the twenty eighteen graduating class at Carnegie Mellon. Domestic violence is an issue. He knows about all too. Well, I kid who couldn't afford to govern NFL game until well into his twenty s is on the verge of getting the NFL's approval to buy the Carolina Panthers. But believe me, it didn't start out that way. I grew up in a working class neighborhood of Stanton heights in the city of Pittsburgh. My dad, like a lot of dads had to work sixty hours a week just to make ends meet. He was physically abusive to me. I'm sure it was a cycle that he got from his father. His father got from his father. It Ma young life. There is no greater adversity. If I'm proud to say what I've US greatest accomplishment of my life, I broke that cycle. With that background, it's possible. The change in ownership could change the Panthers dealings with Sandra and chancellor Li. I just think they could've been a little more empathetic towards our family or something, and it's not that I wanted anything monetarily from the Panthers are distinct. They could've showed a better. In the meantime, Sondra and chancellor Li, you're doing just fine. Reminded of that at the end of his recent therapy session, the two of them bumped into one of chancellor release friends at child and family development, and he lit up in a way I'd never seen before. Yeah. You've been on vacation. Wargo colorado. Where you're going next week. Is. This podcast is supported by safe alliance, providing hope and healing to more than thirteen thousand survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault in the Charlotte area. Each year name is Muhammad growing up. I was physically assaulted by my father who often used religion as the basis for his abuse. The only thing worse than being physically abused was watching the ones you love most go through the same thing. Domestic violence is an issue that occurs to women in all communities, fates, ethnic groups, see how your donation helps build a healthy and peaceful community at safe alliance dot org. Now, back to our story. Is that binds us to this place has to know other the university of the people. Watching chancellor lease transition to adulthood often makes me think of my own son. My oldest child chapel is twenty. He was born just a year before chancellor over the years. I've been called away from home many times to go cover developments in the right Caruth story. Once I had to balance him on my knee with one hand and try to hold a phone and take notes with the other. While doing an interview about the case, this past August dropped chapel offers junior year at the university of North Carolina, the university of the people and spent much of the three hour drive home. Thinking about firsts. The first time I saw him a real book to himself. The first. Oh. So that always happens when I talk about them. Let's let's go on and let me think about whether I'll be able to get three dead or not. All right. Those moments often make me think about chancellor. Not long ago. I saw the joy in his eyes when he typed his own. Detect a sentence. He to as trying to realise spoke potential. As a reporter, it's unusual to cover a story. This long. Picking the draft. The rarely does a rider or a family stay in one place this long hours fifteen on this pitcher and she was thirteen and it was March thirty. First nineteen eighty nine and I wrote spring break on the bottom of it. I don't think we were going anywhere. We just decided to take pictures together. Rarely does the story keep growing and changing for this long. It's a story. Caruth is mostly followed from Sampson Correctional Institution about one hundred seventy miles east of Charlotte. He's mostly been a model inmate having committed only four infractions in nineteen years in prison. By contrast, van Brett Watkins has committed fifty. One Caruth has become a licensed barber earning one dollar a day plus tips to cut other inmates hair. It's a far cry from the thirty eight thousand dollars a game here and with the Panthers. But friends tell me he's made his peace with it and enjoys cutting hair when Caruth receives a tip. Even if it's only a quarter, he considers it a testament to job oil done, jury returns unanimous verdict as follows that the defendant Ray Lamar Caruth is guilty of conspiracy loin is sentencing. Caruth lawyers repeatedly appealed his verdict. At one point, a court did find Judge Charles lamb was wrong to allow Cherie Kaz handwritten hospital notes into evidence. Those notes implicated Caruth in the shooting. But when she wrote them, Shariq was on. Morphine and a variety of other drugs following surgery and seven hours had passed since the attack. David Rudolph admits it's hard to know how much those notes swayed the jury. He was crew lead attorney during the trial. You know, it's hard to tell evidence become sort of a cumulative thing. It certainly wasn't as dramatic as the nine one one call, but it certainly added substance and it added emphasis. But I think the nine one one call was, you know, hearing her voice is just a really powerful thing despite the mistaken admitting those notes. The appeals court ruled that a preponderance of other evidence tied Caruth to the shooting and a panel of judges. They are labeled the air quote harmless. And let me just say that Ray in a strange the way he said, thinks sort of came out probably where it should've in that. He was responsible for putting Shariq in that place. Caruth conviction was upheld there and at every other turn Rudolph, visited Caruth in prison in August and received Caruth authorization to speak to me for this project. You know it. It wouldn't have been just for him to be convicted of first degree murder or put on death row. But the fact he ended up in prison for some significant period of time. I don't think he's bitter about that. I mean, he, he blames himself for where he ended up, and I think that's, that's significant. I mean, I think for somebody to be able to have that level of self awareness and and take responsibility like that is is impressive. As I drove home from Chapel Hill. I thought about fatherhood and my own son and the new responsibilities awaiting Caruth once he leaves prison and whether or not his new life will ever include the young man learning to walk on his own child and family development. This podcast is supported by no more no more. It's none of my business, no more. He didn't mean it no more. Not my problem. No more. She was flirting with him no more. She was asking for it. No more boys will be boys. No more say something next time noble or by standing, no more ignorance mill more excuses. No more pledged to be part of the movement and donate to help prevent domestic violence at no more dot org. Now, back to our story. In two decades of covering shriek Adams, murder, and its aftermath. I've heard so many things about November, sixteenth, nineteen, ninety nine that seem to defy reason yet one unbelievable part of this saga stands out among all the others. I, I heard it from Sondra Adams at the sentencing for the man who orchestrated her daughter's killing. Forgiving. I am forgiving Ray Carruth. The man who spent nineteen years in prison for conspiring to murder. Sharia the man who permanently disabled his own son chancellor Li. I can't hate Rachel. He is my grandson saunas grace. Despite her own sadness was reflected in a letter she wrote, but not to Caruth to the man who shot her daughter. Van Brit walk ins was the only one of the four that actually reached out to me to ask for some forgiveness and he expressed remorse, and I believed him and I believe two story that he was afraid of Ray Caruth not the person, but the power and what he could do. So van Brett Watkins sent me a letter expressing that, and I did write back to him and it's dated April eighteenth and two thousand three. And I said to him, Mr. Watkins, you know, I am suffering because of your actions. I will never be able to hold my beautiful daughter to Rica again. Because of your actions. My grandson chancellor cannot do the simplest things like call me, grandmom me play ball with the other children. Because of your actions. I have a huge hole in my heart, but despite my grief, I want you to know that I forgiven you. I know you a suffering to for the horrible choice you made that day. I want you to know that you will always be in my thoughts and prayers, and I wish you peace Sandra Adams. The two hundred eighty six pound hitman who is capable of green to murder. A pregnant woman for six thousand dollars was shaken by Sandra kindness. As I sat there with Watkins in prison, he told me Sandra's forgiveness in the face of everything he had done to her family was what made him question the man he had become and the depth of his hatred for croup here. I. On. Caruth declined repeated invitations to speak on the record for this project. He didn't testified his own trial outside of the one interview. He did with CNN sl back in two thousand one. He's never offered a full account of his side of the story. The last on the record statements crew is made were in that letter to me in chapter one telling me that some steaks can never be made right. He sent me that letter after talk into a TV station and igniting a firestorm growth wouldn't speak about the specifics of that night in nineteen ninety nine when sharia was shot four times by someone Caruth hired, but he does take responsibility after years of following his media coverage from prison group decided the story had been told wrong too many times he wrote an open letter to Sondra in February and had it delivered Charlotte's WBZ TV. He followed that up with a phone call. He knows his words may bring more anger and writes, I've long accepted my lot as the social pariah. This is from Sarah, Blake Morgan's report. For the loss of her daughter. I'm apologizing for the Fairmont of my son. I feel responsible for everything that had been not just want her to know truly him. Sorry for everything. Controversial core of WBZ TV's report, however, was groups need to quote debunk the lies that miss Adams continues to tell about me. He also questioned her guardianship of his son. I let him down as in came into this world and the only way that I can make that right. The only way that I could work is out my relationship with my son is to be there for him to be Father's Day going forward. I should be right. I want that responsibility. I've never heard Sandra angrier than that day. When I reached her by phone, I can say definitively he's not ever going to have custody of chancellor. She told me my grandson will never be raised by stranger. Someone he doesn't know and who tried to kill him. That letter was in no way. Way at all in apology to me, that led was all about him. And I was very food when I first heard those lines because I cried and I thought, finally, he has come to some repentance. This is what I've been praying for that he would just at MIT be a man at MIT what you did. And so I was food because I saw those words. I think he said that I could have done a better job of keeping ceriga chancellor out of harm's way. That is a true statement. He could have not planned it. The blow back to that report was swift for years. Sondra had been adamant that she and chancellor Li would be outside the prison gates waiting for Caruth when he was released from Samson, where the boy who wouldn't die, could stand face to face with the man who had wanted him dead, and that may still be the case. But today Sandra's far less certain, getting out from behind those four walls is not gonna, make him free, and I don't want him to be free until he can it mitt what he did. And in the past I didn't think it mattered. Just do time. Get out before we go along as way. But I think as the time gets closer for him to get out, I am feeling very differently. I'm still feeling forgiving. And I want still for him to meet his son, but I do want him to feel the effects of what he did because that's what I've been looking at every day since November sixteenth nineteen ninety nine and seeing the hurt the disappointment. Seem dreams. Last. Elmont him to see it. Soon after that WBZ TV report Caruth wrote me a five page letter where he reversed course. I understand that everyone believes that I initially tried to shirk the responsibility of raising chancellor. He wrote that I didn't want him, but does that really mean that after almost nineteen years of incarceration, I'm supposed to be the same man that I'm not supposed to want to make amends with chancellor and try to be the father that should have been from day one. Nevertheless, Ruth wrote to me, he was giving up on that idea. He told everyone to quote, please calm down. I promise to leave them be. He wrote, which I now see is in everyone's best interest and so were clear. This'll be the last time that I make any comments concerning the situation. Caruth has stayed true to those words. And so questions remain about what relationship, if any, he will pursue with his son. When Caruth is released. Even Sondra struggles for clarity. On two occasions, I have reached out to him. I asked him to go ahead and send me the visitation papers, and I got no response from him. And so I'll write to him again. And this time I did say to him that, you know, he is not going to have a relationship with chancellor without sitting down and communicating with me. Told him that you going to be missing out of your son's life. And then I did a head, but that doesn't phase you. He did not want him. He tried to kill him. So I am not going to keep big ING killer to want to be part of my grandson's life because my grandson is going to be sheltered and covered and live life with unconditional love. And if he can't give that there's no need for him to be in his life, I'm still praying about where I'm going to be October twenty. Second part of me wants to be there the day. He walked out right there where he has to come pass to me so he can acknowledge his son. And then there's part of me that just wants to be chilling out on a beach somewhere on October twenty. Second. And moving on with my life because I don't the question. I have to ask myself as the same questions. Shariq ask me that night. Why am I here? Who does this even about. Her questions comeback. The story of Shariq is life is being heard today louder than ever. Sandra has become a passionate advocate on behalf of domestic violence victims honoring her daughter's legacy, but speaking to gathering ranging from the mothers of murdered offspring. And they'd film your life all the time. Or you can take back your power. Keep on. He on. For. Where we. Pains room to owner -able populations behind bars. To me the whole hostage today late last year, a captured this audio for Mecklenburg county jail on my phone. Serves. Is not working. And sometimes national TV audiences to present the Walter camp American hero award for twenty sixteen please. Here. She is in New Haven, Connecticut, at a celebration for the best college football players in the country being honoured on ESPN. I think I'm a grandmom that would do what she is supposed to do in the face of tragedy. This award is first and foremost for sharia, and then for my grandson chancellor. Here ten miles east of uptown. Charlotte. I met with Sondra and chance to relieve one more time for this project at Cherie Kaz final resting place. Can we seem angels greater does pretty. Mommy. Pine and oak trees ring the wide open grounds here. There's a bright blue sky overhead avai ceful of purple and yellow flowers sits by Cherie Kaz headstone, which is a and with familiar site, the same sort of butterfly. She loved as a child etched in bronze. Because they had several different little border things, but I told him, I said, well, I know I won't butterflies on. I wanted Sirri contenders have same initials. So they do see lay. Chancellor Li atoms should Rica Lavinia atoms Shariq ahead. My mom's middle name and chancellor has my dad's middle name. Lead is the family name. Yeah. So. CLA NC lay here at sunset memory gardens. It's only natural. Sandra would reflect again upon this family traditions handed down through the generations. We don't have anymore heirs to the Adam's name and he's laugh boy, really? Yeah, because see my sister's children are not Adams's there. Her husband's last night. So I was like we if a lot riding on Lynn here, a lot riding a lot of pressure. Yeah, you got carry on Adam's name. I don't know. You can't Aflou the, I don't know. You're going to carry on Adam's name boy. You got to girl for the end ahead own girlfriends. Days away from Caruth released from prison. I wondered if she had any new thoughts on the man convicted of conspiring to kill her daughter. Basically, you know what from the journal entries did I have from sharia and from my perspective of what sharia thought their relationship was, I believe sharia loved Ray. And so if she saw some good in him, I wanna dig and dig and dig until I find that good too. I also wanted to deliver to them the card van Brett Watkins sent me. I think he has plenty of time to write letters really has the nice pin Menchu he does. It's very readable. Yeah. And to make sure she saw Watkins, closing thought which stuck with me. Zebra never sheds his stripes nor does a leopard loses spots. He's still unrepentant. That's a danger to you and chancellor. Would you think? I think it's written in all sincerity and believe he's doing his best to. Warn me. That last bit of the person that he knows. And I actually feel some of the same kind of way I do. It's, yeah, I think the great my Angelo summed it up the best when people show you who they are, believe them the first time. Raise the coward. So Ray would never come back here and do anything. But that doesn't mean he wouldn't send someone. So I am a little anxious and I'm not gonna live in fear, but I'm taking a lot of precautions. Where Caruth goes after his release remains a question. I've been told over the past year that maybe he'll return home to California or remain in North Carolina. I've been told he might get married or that he might change his name. One thing we do know soon. His sentence will be over. He's only forty four years old. I think he's looking forward to getting out and and restarting his life here again is David Rudolph, Caruth lawyer. He's matured immensely as you can imagine. And. Feels very strongly that he wants to just sort of try to do something positive with the rest of his life will be a free man and will have paid his debt to society. But as society, forgiving him, you know, it does not bother me a bit that he's going to be getting out of jail. This is Clark panel. The jury foreman and Caruth trial. He was giving a trial. He was convicted. He served his time and it's time for all of us to beginning with our lives Ray Khuda, Ruth orchestrated, that murder. This is Darryl price. One of the detectives who investigated Cherie, Kaz murder. He was convicted of conspiracy commit murder, but not the actual murder it. So I don't even understand how that's possible. If you're convicted of conspiracy committed murder that actually occurred, I don't know how you could not be found guilty of that actual murder. I do not think he's guilty and I think that's a miscarriage of Justice. Monique young one of groups, longtime friends. It just hurts my heart. You know what I mean that he's had to deal with this for so long, but he's such a strong person that I think he's dealt with it very good Doshi Hickey the doctor who cared for chancellor Li at the hospital plan. This was supposed to kill her in the baby. You know, that's what he wanted. It was her them to be gone. And that's just from someone who cares a lot about Sandra chancellor. I was like, fried, a son of a bitch was what I wanted. The eligible and it would have been an appropriate sentence for him in my, here's Tom eighteen who led the police investigation into Serena's murder. I mean, look what he did do child. You really can't get beyond that when you make a choice to take two lives. Can you really change from that and Valerie Brooks, one of Serena's best friends? Is that possible? I just don't know that that can happen. I don't know that he's remorseful, this is van Brett Watkins the hitman who still consumed by hatred for Caruth feel about right growth. Now. And this is Sandra again. So what he did, it deserves the harshest punishment hit deserves to be dead for what he did to my daughter, but I forgive him because I wanna love my grandson conditionally and I don't even wanna see, raker roots go to hail. I want him to come to repentance. I want to forgive him. So that I can move on in enjoy the fruits of my labor and enjoy my life. Because if I'm sitting around in unforgiveness, it's like me drinking poison and hoping he's going to die. And that's not gonna happen. For now anyway, chancellor Lee is here at child and family development continuing to work toward new goals. Today, he's moved beyond the spoon and his working with occupational therapist, Meghan Davidson Palmer on a new challenge, cutting Plato with a plastic fork and knife. Just using the fork to kind of study, and then you're cutting it from there. Oh, there you go. The grins yet again, and in a way, I think this young man was what all of this was about Ray Caruth didn't want him van. Brett Watkins tried to kill him. Sharia Adams saved him. Sandra Adams, raised him. Countless others have supported and protected and nurtured him. He was born from tragedy and has spent nearly every day since in the embrace of grandmother who will go to any links to say that chancellor Lee is loved. It's really not even about the crime because all of us go through our death of a loved one sometimes. And when we focus on what we've lost, we don't see what we have left. So today my focus is on what I have left and all the joy that is brought me and that in some ways, if this hadn't happened, I never would have stepped into the greatness that God had for me because it has shown me a part of me that I didn't know lived in there. I'm bigger than I thought I was. I am more faithful than I thought of worse. I'm what loving and compassionate than not ever could be. In for that, I really have Ray could roofs think. Autumn here. Again, preparations are already underway for chancellor lease upcoming birthday. This time last year I spent the afternoon with him and Sondra in Charlotte, speed in park just across the street from the hospital where chancellor was born, like it was just a couple of years ago we're bringing out from the hospital, so it's amazing. And just think, did I can associate November sixteenth with the day, my grandchild was woman. Boy, you have a Berkeley coming up. Yeah, he knowing your birthday is throw flares or Jake. Jake, November sixteenth at sign. I'm Scott valor in this podcast is produced by Jeff signer and Rachel Weisz and Davin Coburn McClatchy studios. A real break right now tot. It's a mid life thing. So can we would have good land. Okay, or ask you for. Early may not need to come anyone skilled interviewed us. You find lots more about this case, Charlotte observer dot com slash Karoo for just thirty dollars subscribe now to a full year of the observers, award-winning sports coverage at Charlotte, observer dot com. Slash sports pass. A special. Thank you to Sherry Chishan hall Robyn Tomlin, Gary Schwab. Mike persinger Jane Siegel and Jonathan foresight for their support of this project. And thank you to our nonprofit partners, no more. The national coalition against a Mesic violence, safe alliance and the Children's Defense Fund leave us a rating and review on apple podcast, and you can reach me directly at s Fowler at Charlotte, observer dot com. Thanks so much for listening.

chancellor Ray Lamar Caruth Sondra Adams Monsieur Monsieur van Brit Pie Sandra Sandra Adams Charlotte chancellor Li Ray Caruth chancellor Lee murder Panthers Sandra chancellor Cherie Kaz Scott Fowler Carolina Panthers Shariq Charlotte
Season 3 - Episode 12

They Walk Among Us

41:30 min | 3 years ago

Season 3 - Episode 12

"Is your home in ADT home, get ADT today and help protect from break-ins fi and carbon monoxide for a limited time. Get ADT's lowest rates starting at twenty eight dollars ninety nine cents. You can also take advantage of the ADT go up, which offers safe driving reports and more go to ADT dot com slash podcast to take advantage of ADT's lowest rate with Eddie six-month monitoring contract. Anytime nation, installation fees, applying excludes taxes and fees applies to traditional services only set anarchist excluded licenses available at ADT dot com. Welcome to season three episode, twelve. If they walk among us a podcast dedicated to u k true crime. Listen to caution is advised is the Sepah sewed contains adult themes and descriptions that some listeners may find distressing. Millions of people worldwide hundred money every week to be in with a chance of winning the lottery, the ozone stacked in your favor, be you pay anyway. Maybe for a minute, you mind drifts to a place where you've won. You imagine what you would do with your millions what you would by family and friends. You would treat how much your life would be improved teenage lottery winner. Michael Carroll's foles almost as fast as is rise after he won ten million pounds. His life spiraled into utter chaos, drugs, violence, and murder within his family. Saturday, November second, two thousand and two monkey. Caroline is girlfriend. Sandra, who was eight months pregnant, went to a local corner shop, coup clocks in down market, Norfolk monkey did something he hadn't done before. People to lucky dip lottery to his gave one to Sandra, and he kept the other for himself. They went food shopping in King's Lynn. They were cautious with what they spend Sondra. Zaindy income came from benefits and monarchy was a part time been man that was only cooled into hell. When permanent members of staff was sick or on leaf, he to also claim benefits. Late asandra return to a council flat in down a market and monkey went back to his own Kelly's and uncle Stevens where he had been living with them in their children. That evening monkey was on babysitting GT's while his aunt and uncle went out later that night when they arrive time, Mike was trying to figure out how to shoot into teletext so he could check the lottery numbers against his ticket monkey couldn't work it out. So he's on Kelly, did it for him? She read the numbers, allowed five, twenty eight. The t to thirteen nine forty two forty eight. He picked the mole is on. Kelly was convinced it was a prank when he said he had all six numbers monkey was to ton toy to cool his girlfriend, Sandra. So his aunt made the coal, then she called monkeys mother than Camelot. The company operate the lottery to confirm the jackpot. It was nine million seven hundred thirty six thousand one hundred thirty. One pounds. He was the only winner. The windfall was now his. He was a millionaire. They said, a Camelot Representative would visit in the morning. Everyone came strength over to the bungalow to toast the win that evening and monkey stash the tickets in a cabinet overnight, but he couldn't stop himself continually checking. It was still there. Maku Carol's life up to this point had been rookie is mother Kim was a teenager working in a factory when she met Andrew. Carol, Anne RAF engineer Atari f- Winton in Cambridge ship. They had three children Zoe in one thousand nine hundred eighty. Charlene in one thousand nine hundred eighty two. And Michael, the youngest in nineteen Ninety-three according to Mikey is father was sentenced to eleven years in military prison when he was eighteen months old. Andrew, Carol got into a physical altercation with a navy officer in Warnecke. It's an RAF toga dons and didn't lead the fight in the danso when he went home with an RAF service. Women could Jackie McNally Andrew followed them home. According to Mike is mother. The husband was jealous because he went to the party with Jackie despite being married, Andrew knocked on the door. They wouldn't let him in. So he forced his way into the home and stabbed them both before fleeing the scene believing the pen to be dead. They cooled the military police anonymously. Thankfully, both in Jackie was still alive, but multiple wounds meant that he in spleen had to be removed and Jackie. It suffered nine stab wounds, Andrew Carroll return time, but didn't retire to bed straight away, see burned his bloody clothes in the indoor solid, fuel burner when his victims are able to speak. Several days later Andry was arrested when he was released. He returned to his family, but things have changed the had midnight, but to live on the army base since the attempted murder and his wife had to return to a job at the canning factory. Now he was at home. He followed suit good a job in the factory to monkey's parents officially separated after his father decided to move to Swindon for a job, leaving his family behind. Initially visits back home to his family were regular with time. It became less frequent just three years later, Andrew Carroll that only thirty four years old suffered a fatal heart attack while playing go monkey, put his father on a pedestal, the dedication in his book rates to the greatest man that ever lived. Maliki have three steps. Fob is threat. Sheltered reclaimed one was far worse than the others. This man would slap him hard and locked him in his bedroom for hours at a time. He admits he was a difficult child. It was suspected. He had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and dyslexia which wasn't diagnosed until later when he was already in the prison system. These hurdles were paired with violence temper got into trouble in school. Throwing a chair to teacher need, got into more trouble out of school as well. A thirteen. The family moved to MAC Dylan village in King's Lynn, Norfolk in February nineteen. Ninety-seven. It's almost fourteen years old monkey had a court appearance at west Norfolk juvenile court. The charge was burglary and theft. He pleaded guilty and received a conditional discharge and define this was only the start of his criminal activities. Often skips. Goal as he didn't make friends there. So we spent most of his school, they shoplifting drinking shoplifting progress, the stealing cars which you would dump on the side of the road after jewelry, riding around the countryside when he left school, he worked for short periods in factories to save up to go on holidays abroad with his family. On a number of occasions is grandparents also went away with them, but Mikey, managed to burn those bridges after repeatedly getting too drunk contact with his grandmother and grandfather fizzled out after they go time from the second holiday, they were foster parents and didn't think they grandson would be good influence on the children in their care. Unsurprisingly. Mike. He was arrested again and appeared in court during early November, two thousand and one to face driving related charges. He received a small fine, and even though he didn't have a provisional driving licence, he received a banned from driving for eighteen months just over a month. Later when he was caught again, he wouldn't get off so lightly. The charges stacked up in title ten different charges ranging from Ankara vited vehicle taking to resisting arrest. It was sentenced to prison serving two months of a four month sentence in youth custody. Un-unexpected perk of his time. There was the hell with dyslexia in classes when he was released. He lived at a bandstand in a park where he would spend his days drinking special brew a very strong and relatively cheap blogger. If the weather was bad, he would take his sleeping bag. And along with a friend sleep in an outhouse, an abandoned hospital is on Kelly would feed in washes, clothes. You'll sell for them a place to stay, but he refused, it wasn't long before the psychos started. Again, he appeared in court twice over the next few months on similar charges before relating to comfort after resisting arrest be received commune. Unity service, a small fine and a curfew order with an electronic tag for forty two days in needed to live somewhere with the phone line that could pick up the signal on the tag. So we finally moved in with his own Kelly before is next arrest on October eighteenth, two thousand two. You worked graveyard shift for short time. It's an onion factory is charged. This time was criminal damage. If through piece of gravel at the windscreen of a bus with fifteen children on board, the electric tank was put back on in two weeks later, Michael Carroll won the lottery. Monkey Carol made the decision to go public with his winnings. It was picked up in a Mercedes to go to Birmingham for a press conference to pose in the obligatory photograph holding gigantic check. It was a teenage millionaire, even though he didn't even have a Bank account to put the money in yet to make sure we go time in time for six pm curfew is he was still wearing electronic tank. Now he posed for photos wearing a large gold sovereign ring, and a white nyc by spoke cap is appearance is criminal history in his age caused the stain on many people in Britain. Some believe with his track record is shouldn't have been allowed to participate in the lottery. A police officer present to the photo, shoot remarked, don't tell me go, doesn't have a sense of humor. Camelot introduced into coots, which is said to be the Bank used by the British Royal family, perhaps Mike criminal history, shape their decision on. Take his business. So he hoped it fulsome, James's place Bank monkey told the press. The lottery win means a new start. He said, I was like any of the normal teenager and made a few mistakes, but that's all changed now. It won't happen again. He went onto side that he wanted to buy three bedroom house with a swimming pool that was never liked. So he could go fishing. Mulkey Kara was a tabloid newspapers dream. It was double auto land in king of the Chaffetz for those of you that don't. I what to Chevy's is a derogatory slang term for a young poor person that exhibits loutish behaviour and has a preference for wearing sportswear. There was never a dull moment is the price camped outside is ons home. He had to move. When his tank was removed. Monkey move with Sandra to a forty, five pounds a week council flats on the circle state while they figured out what they were going to do next. They bought a house called the Grange fifteen miles away in the quiet market town of Swaffham in Norfolk. It costs three hundred twenty thousand pounds. Construction work was carried out almost straight away to add a building for swing poll a hot tub. Another refurbishments which cost an additional four hundred thousand pounds. Mike, he'll say, purchased in the joining field. The house was filled with brand new furniture and everything was set up for the arrival of their daughter. Brooke on December. Thirtieth two thousand and two. It was a difficult birth. So Sandra and the baby were in the hospital over the new year will Mikey took the opportunity to have a big party at the new property. When Sandra and Brooke came home a few days later, she was upset to see some of the furniture huddle ready, been damaged during the festivities with a new baby and a considerable -tory win a pressure war on a couple. But even so they got married to registry office in King's Lynn on March twenty eighth two thousand and three, and it appeared like the newlyweds at settle down would Mike. He just spent his time fishing on a like, like you said, he would not let his began arriving at the house from the public asking for money. Camelot often tells a win is not to read them. But in the end, curiosity got the better of Mikey. Some simply ask for money, but if you stuck out as they mentioned threats to his aunt, Kelly and her children, if Maliki didn't give them cash, it was concerning, but not a threat. He took seriously until one morning when he got up and discovered the five rottweilers guarding the property at their three. Throats slit in the night Niger, a vet confirmed. The animals had been drugged. First monkey claimed he went to the police, but he said they apparently didn't have enough proof. So nothing was done along with a door to Brooke Sondra return to a native Northern Ireland to be with their family. She fit for a safety. She'd been married to my key for any three weeks. You received threatening calls to his mobile. So we also reported this to the police worried for his family members. Monkey arranged money drop. It took fifty thousand pounds to a meeting point near a might away and handed it over by the time you go time. That was another coal requesting more money. And he parted with another thirty thousand pounds in cash is judgment could have been clouded. At this point. He had experimented with drugs before, but usually only drink now we could afford drugs enough for him and enough for his friends. Who night parties will not unusual. One kilogram of cocaine was passed around on a mirror. The penalties in the noise hadn't gone unnoticed who noises were followed by days of writing loud bang accounts around his field. And the noise disturb the like village monkey. Caroline is friends were nuisance to the neighbors. This dependence on drugs and alcohol was out of control knee would soon at crack to that mix. He said the black maiocco started up again. So he left the Grange for a wall while him and his friends move someone new every few nights because eventually stopped monkey returned home with his friends in two thousand and three monkeys owned Kelly and uncle Stephen, separated after a family holiday in Jamaica monkey had given the one million pounds. He bought their home paid off the debts and it some leftover in the Bank when they came into their full Stephen quit working. And turn to drink Kelly being more sensible to kept one of jobs when they separated Stephen froze their joint Bank account and stayed in the house. They had board Bo, Kelly left with the children to stay in their holiday caravan to. She could figure out what to do next monkey at any seen. Stephen not is on Kelly is mother's sister since their return from Jamaica. Stevens said the separation was caused by Kelly having an affair. Many months later when Mikey finally sores aunt, she said it wasn't true around this time due to the amount of press the lottery bid Mun received the department of work and pensions, discovered the monkey Carol file to declare all of his working hours. We'll temping has been. So he was taken to court and find. Maliki Carol was hemorrhaging. Money is TV and other electronics would frequently get stolen of smash boyfriends in hangers on attending his party's. He spent large sums of money on sex workers in thousands of pounds on drugs each day yet had a taste for gold jewellery and will multiple extra thick, go chains and rings. These often disappeared along with this electron IX, but were quickly replaced a black van painted with a female silhouette. In the words, king of Chaffetz emblazoned on the side was his preferred vehicle for a while yen. Countless top of the range cars along with banners for his demolition Dhabi Maliki hit invested. One million pounds in ranges is favorite football team in rumors, started circulating the buddied up with Johnny a day, a convicted loyalist terrorist papers reported the two gave him one hundred thousand pounds. However, Mikey. Oh, denied any money changed hands and they just spike about their mutual love of Rangers football club short on cash. He started to withdraw funds from bones that is financed advisor, had invested in on Mikey's behalf. They will. One of the only things making monkey money is advisor pleaded with to keep them to secure his future. But he was regularly taking out thousands of pounds at a time. The Pontus continued one night between racing cars in the field behind his house and drinking and taking drugs. Monkey burnt-out van in is back garden, which meant the fund service hut to be cool. Does the mayhem carried on round them? Some press were present and filmed his friends who took the opportunity to show off their guns. Monkey sister play down their antics is Lance having fun, just normal lateral. That's what moonlights day plays a book. Like to that evening, I sit founds of pounds in fireworks for straightening than Knipe is even more monkey thought they were over reacting. What would you say to the neighbors? You say. You're making their life. Hell. What if they may be sort of animation track? But one hundred is done right. I small out of failed and they bizarre. I forty seven. You know, may only more never freed homes week from three times a month. Like who resident was asked if he thought, Mikey, Carol should have been allowed to win so much money, tongue way. If you know you pay your money, your entire to win signs. Anyone else. Hans on China. Another resident was asked about the constant noise here with some. Thumb, I hill it, but it. Machi Carol Potanin offer to fund the villages Christmas lights, but the gesture was declined. A hotline was set up exclusively to report. Incidents caused by Mikey and his friends at the Grange police raided the property on December eighteenth, two thousand and three in no stink to hide or disguise the drugs in the house. Nineteen point, seven grams of cocaine, twenty grams of cannabis resin. A nine grams of herbal. Cannabis was discovered. Accord night was set for February tenth. They sentencing was delayed until March twenty. Third until the court had received a report from the probation service as Malachy arrived at court, the press were already waiting, greeted them what had become his trademark gesture, sticking his middle finger up. Camelot's around the lottery offered monkey counseling, but he wasn't keen to take out the offer. One of their counselors briefly spoke to the press. I think it gives Michael an opportunity to put things writer and I move forward during the court proceedings. A magistrate address Marco Carol. She said because of the seriousness of your charges, especially the code cocaine, and the fact you are a persistent offender. This rather puts us into thinking about custody, so we need to know more about you. So we again to wants the probation service to do a pre sentencing report monkeys, defense counsel, nail Meacham, describe some of Mikey's turbulent time life to the court, however, much money. One has a one acquires entities, no secret mystic Carol, how some good fortune it does not necessarily buy you happiness. And he has had a number of problems of light when it's been a domestic situa-. Nation in relation to his marital situation. He's been very low indeed, in relation to the matter. He has a young child and he and his wife separated, and it causes him some disquiet. In the end, the magistrate shows a drug treatment older and Malachy was given a fine for no pain is bio. The locals thought he would begun to prison and they will get some rest barred from the noise. Really. Get the impression that he's been given lots of challenges already really, always many of them giving it to a good Kohl's monkey didn't participate in the drug treatment order because he meant break Hewlett testing. So we served four months in prison. This podcast is brought to you by ADT is your home in ADT him get ADT today and help protect from break-ins fire and carbon monoxide for a limited time. Get ADT's Lois rates starting at twenty eight dollars and ninety nine cents plus two dollar a day. ADT is the fest security company to keep you safe at home. And when you're on the go, you can also take advantage of the ADT go up which you get with a purchase of any security system. Features on the app include saved, driving reports, a family locator and more go to ADT dot com forward slash podcast to take advantage of ADT's lowest rate eighty tested trusted, proven with Eddie six-month monitoring contract. Anytime nation, installation fees apply excludes taxes and fees apply. Is to traditional services only set markets, excluded licenses available at ADT dot com. Monkey is new girlfriend Sami moved into the house. He end in down market in a family had since moved into the Grange wallet been in jail monkey credited this stint in prison for making quick crack the, we continue to abuse other drugs in mighty found full Monkou. Carol was again in trouble with the police is gilfriend's Samay in one of the friends went to down a market town hole where Krisztian rock concert was taking place. They go into a physical fight with another teenage girl outside throwing noodles in a drink in a face after they could Mikey Siamese brothers under an unknown fourth man. They also turned up on with baseball, bats and muscle. Their way into the alcohol, free concert Manlio ccupied by teenagers to people were attacked, including the organizer and monkey Carol is friends in one of the girls were caught on CCTV going into the whole building their weapons. Other arrested charges followed any two thousand and five while still waiting to attend court for the charge of fray in the village who'll incident monkey drive is black. Mercedes with the license plate, l one one, one of UT into the center of swamp them anon- with a catapult full of ball, bearings issued two cars in a butcher shop causing three thousand pounds worth damage. They would go into a pair at King's Lynn court received a-nasba two hundred forty five hours of community service and a fine of three thousand six hundred twenty eight pounds in compensation and forty, five pounds in costs in two thousand and five. A celebrity boxing match was organized. Maliki would find soft against Mark Smith. Otherwise, Niners ROY ni- had been on the TV series. Gladiators on was a professional bodybuilder monkey went into the ring of drinking a few cans of Stella. Unprepared unfit a now. I've await the crowd became more animated than the phones in the book. Zing ring is Gil friend was involved in a ruckus in the crowd was she kept spitting, ROY, ni- support behind her will Maleki was pummeled into what appear to be an inevitable loss. The judges declared drew. Monkey Carol claimed to have quit drugs in split up with his teenage girlfriend Sami but the time he appeared in court on February six, two thousand six about the two thousand and four incident to the Christine concert. It was now in a relationship with a woman who Jodi of the people involved in the incident at the concert would charged on different Deitz Siamese seventeen under then fifteen year old friends received a twelve month conditional discharge. David Howard Siamese brother pled guilty to affray and handling stolen JC bay. He was sentenced to eighteen months in prison is brother poll. Howard was sentenced to six months. His defense could thirty four seconds of foolishness. Monica Carol was sentenced to nine months in prison. The judge Peter Jacobs remarked you went too long to exact some form of retribution launch a number of people with terrified about what went on. They sort of behavior Cannell be tolerated. While he was inside the cokes were still turning on the outside. Monkey had met actor and comedian, Keith Allen back in two thousand and four near degree to make a documentary with him. The end product Monica Carole king of the Chaffetz was Ed on channel four night poll two thousand six. The program revealed contradictions. Both in the reports about Mikey, Carol, and his persona, Keith Allen on his crew observed the noise from the iphone thirty seven, which joined the field when mowing Qian is friends rice. 'cause he concluded the cover. I didn't really add to the noise. Monaco CARA was allusive for the first half of the filming. Often not turning out to arrange meetings with Keith Allen and others like his trainer for the phone with royno worryingly timid and scared, large black Rottweiler. Dog was pictured in launch concrete cage outside the Grange. At the beginning of the film, the floor was covered in faces. The crew was so concerned. They informed the recipe. See a lighter on the dog is filmed again, but this time the cages claimed and the dog is out with other dogs and seems friendly and happily playing with Sammy Howard's family who were living there at the time. Monkou Carol played up to the cameras when the press were around returning to the Grange from his semi detached house in down a monk it to race cars and act the pound when asked if he wanted to get rid of the money, he said, a. do an don't don't get me wrong. I do because the shit that it brings an a dime because a wanted for my daughter or more for her. You know what I mean? The documentary Ed while Manco CARA was still in prison and his new girlfriend Jodi happens, be in jail at the same time to you. Write poems with the help of his new agents shown Barra a former pipe fitter insurance sell turned actor. An author who had had a small amount of success in TV and film. Monkey Carol was released from prison in June, a few days after Jodi their relationship didn't last monkey appeared on talk shows, including Russell brand's got issues. Any might guest appearances on channel five live in October is book careful what you wish for was released. But two thousand six also monk but time when his winnings had almost dried up. We'll seemed relatively quiet over the next couple of years. Monkey appeared. Unlike who news TV and radio shows is agent shown Barra Troy, two launch markets film career, and did manage to find him some minor roles a film, Jack said, starring Donnie Dr in two thousand nine. So Mikey, playing tweet day bodyguard. During this time, he started a relationship with hairdresser Jemma peak in an early two thousand nine that door to fames born. They lived in his house in down market in two thousand and ten. The low budget British gangster film killer bitch was released. An Michael Carroll was given a role playing a fictionalized version of himself. In may two thousand and ten. It was reported that Mikey applied for his job as a bin man, but they refused his offer saying they were not recruiting this time on August. First monkey was caught driving a radically swerving across the. Road and over a roundabout before finally, stopping when he hit the curb and his Sitrin Picasso shouted. Do you know who I am to a witness who approached is calm, even full, the witness for ten minutes before a police car pulled him over the officer said to Mikey, some, I think even too much to drink you, Denver toted son, you don't my fucking dad monkey go towns in United on his car, and then collapsed a Breathalyzer show. He was nearly four times over the legal limit. A court hearing was set for September on August. Tenth Melikian is agent shown, appeared on the local news adults with the application for his previous job. Earlier that year Sean claims that Mikey would never have to work. Again, when asked if his client at blind, the lot, a blown most fair, although site to you that Michael has got enough money left, which is toyed on the. Why, but he never has to work again. Finally, the Grange had a buyer, an estate agent saw the potential, but it was in a sorry. State would require extensive for furbish meant the house had been destroyed when it was okay. Pied when it was left, abandoned, every pane of glass was shattered, and dog excrement covered the flows. The cupboards in the kitchen were ripped off the walls and smashed the pool, and his water was stained blank with into Bray. And according to Mikey, someone tied a rope around the jacuzzi and pull the town with a truck. It was sold at a loss of nearly six hundred thousand pounds. A cool date for the drink driving offence rolled around mid-september and Maliki was seen arriving with Sean and a full hole in expect. Taishin of a prison sentence is defense. Barrister light to set of Malecki is life has not been a normal one, and he's still suffers from an addiction to alcohol. Prior to him winning the lottery, he only smoked cannabis, but he was targeted by crack cocaine dealers until eventually he became addicted this height. It was easing announced today which was costing him about two thousand pounds every day in these deal dealers simply bled dry accepts. He's the author of his own downfall in a has to wake up every morning, knowing he is blown a golden opportunity. The party is over and he knows that. Mollica Carol was disqualified from driving for thirty six months. You received a sixteen week. Prison sentence suspended for twelve months was required to do one hundred twenty hours of community service. Speaking after the sentencing hearing monkey said it was just a blip is I ensure was more vocal data. Rallies is go friend and he knew he shouldn't have done what he did, but guess what state momentarily low, we'll do it on for you is really, really trying. Two thousand eleven proved to be another year where things weren't on the up for Manco Carroll is agent shown, barrow died in February. I fifty seven. He had finally succumbed to the cancer that he had been battling on and off for a number of years. The following month, Mike is pawn Jemma left behind. I shed down among it alone with their daughter monkey went to his preferred newspaper the sun and gave them an interview about what happened. He said, I tried to hang myself at time ten days ago, but almost passed out when my might found me. Then last Saturday cut myself who's really painful. I ended up with an ambulance and a police car coming to the house. The doctors want to section may in hospital, but I discharged myself and came home of good a might stain now, and he's looking after me a stupid. I feel right, but I don't want to do anything silly again onto keep going for my kids. It was confirmed. He was admitted to the hospital with five superficial wings made with a craft knife. So where are we now a couple of years lighter Maliki than thirty move north to Scotland to be nearest. I daughter, he was climbing benefits until June two thousand thirteen. When he gained temporary employment at walkers, shortbread factory near Elkin in Murray Scotland, he lost a considerable amount of white after ballooning to twenty two stone at the height of the chaos of his lottery win. He wrote a pink and blue mountain bike half of the white to work and then call the bus for the remainder of the journey. It was thought he was living in a house, his ex wife, Sondra earned coat, Sondra received seven hundred fifty thousand pounds in the divorce. But Maliki said he was living in a tent in some woodland for a couple of weeks. Before we go the job, he told the daily record. I get two hundred and four pounds every week for packing and stacking shortbread cookies on a love it on treasure those wages more than any nine million. Pound fortune. I moved up to Scotland to be closer to my daughter and to get out of my drinking a needed, a change back in Norfolk. I ended up crashing on a might cipher, but I've got a two bedroom council flat just out. So I get now. So I'm well sorted. He appeared in the newspapers again in two thousand and sixteen need since found further employment in a slaughterhouse. Instead, he was teetotal and had been for over a year, you'll say, went on two hundred voice to David and Carol Martin who lived in Scotland and had complete after winning thirty. Three million pounds on the lottery is opinion was to emigrate. The loss defend the. So Michael Carroll in the newspapers was for a far more tragic reason Bianco who we grew up with his own Kelly's ex husband. Stephen mung Casta was found dead from gun show wind, his new wife, Alison who'd also been shot. It was realized quickly that it was forty seven year old. Stephen monk caster who was linked Michael Carol, but initially press reports. Incorrectly stated, it was monkey's arm that had also died. Monkou Carol told the press. He hadn't spoken to his uncle since two thousand three transpired. The Stephen and Allison mum cast lived in a bungalow a wiccan, wholesome, Mary Mack Dylan, necking Lynn. The house had been partially funded by Mike is lottery winnings. Stephen remained in the home after the divorce for monkeys on Kelly, and eventually Allison moved in with Steven, their relationship at reach breaking point and Allison wanted to leave. Stephen visited his doctor and told him about feeling depressed due to his marriage breaking down. But the doctor had no indication that his patient would take his life or anyone else's. But sadly, he was wrong. Stephen monk cast a short, his wife, and then himself. The incident had been filmed by CCTV cameras around the Heim, say stevia is k. to this instant and it bought the completion investigation. Enter close quite quite early, and there is internal and external Cici TV. It covers a number of rooms within the the bungalow, and we have Klay movements throughout the evening of Stephen and Allison pro today, instant taking place. The cameras would also film the lead up to the murder suicide. Stephen monk cast the hit a shotgun under the bed. He shared with his wife in the footage. The couple can be seen in the front room. They look distressed. Stephen sometimes puts his head in his hands. You've been short, his wife through the cheek, you went outside and shot himself. An inquest into Ellison, monk cast is death concluded. She had been unlawfully killed. After Michael Carol had spent all of his money. He spoke to the press in two thousand and sixteen, he said of experienced more in a decade than most people would do in two lifetimes, a much happier now, a still boy lottery tickets and would love to win, but the money takes over your life can become it Syria, Listrik, and meaningless. Thank you for listening in special. Thanks to our patriot supporters. For more information, please visit. They walk among us podcast dot com. To support. They walk among us and receive access to what free episodes and other extras just head to patriotic dot com forward slash they walk among us. hey, there. This is Eric Kelley host of the podcast, southern fraud, true crime each week at take a look at a different southern crime and like any good gossip. I'm interested in anyone or anything. I cover contemporary and historical cases, and I love listener suggestions. Come join me as I explored the dark underbelly of the deep south. I'm a one woman show in a narrative format. Kind of like sitting by the fire and listening to a story suppo- chair and subscribe. If you're interested, I'd love to have you. You can find me on itunes, Stitcher, Google play. And just about any podcast off for. Just search for southern fried true crime until then take care. Is your home and ADT home get ADT today and help protect from break-ins fi and carbon monoxide for a limited time. Get ADT's lowest rates starting at twenty eight dollars and ninety nine cents. You can also take advantage of the ADT go up, which office safe driving reports and more go to ADT dot com slash podcast to take advantage of ADT's lowest rate with six month monitoring contract. Anytime nation, installation fees apply excludes taxes and fees applies to traditional services only set an office excluded licensing at ADT dot com.

Mikey Siamese Maliki Carol Kelly ADT Dhabi Maliki Mike Monkey Stephen monk Norfolk Mollica Carol Brooke Sondra Michael Carroll Sandra Andrew Carroll Grange Michael Lynn court officer
The Entrepreneurs - Eureka 239: Depuravita

Monocle 24: The Entrepreneurs

11:58 min | 4 months ago

The Entrepreneurs - Eureka 239: Depuravita

"You're listening to eureka monocle. Twenty four with daniel hosted the entrepreneurs sondra and osama is the founder of dip your vita an italian company that in twenty fifteen began selling a range of detox juices and smoothies packaged in a smart and sustainable design. They use fruits and vegetables source from their own farm and local suppliers. Something that has helped the istanbul native turn a healthy profit in two thousand twenty cm decided to look again to mother nature when she added a line of natural beauty supplements powders and elixirs in her quest to avoid the glove chemically enhanced products on the markets. The cement looks to organic ingredients to create a range of nutrition and skin care products including probiotic chocolates and a passion flower liquid to eight with getting a good night's rest. The brands products are now carried at dozens of retailers across europe asia and the middle east for this week showed innoshima sat down with monica. Milan correspondent ivan value. To tell the story of dip your vida. It's an evolution. Because when i started like how i start at the real stories. I read an article coming back from new york to milan saying that. The juicing business reached five billion dollar i was like what is the juice. Business at the timer was working for fainted. Gaza's a consultant for marketing. And i looked around and italy. I realized that nobody's doing this business. Oh this is how i started with the idea like meany start offers to do a lot of money right and then i realized that was not my mission really in my mission was to contribute to people's lives by Giving them a wider awareness on nutrition on longevity in how to have a better and healthier life we do a lot of feedback with your a lot of consultancy with clients. And when you ask the most common problem with the people table all tell the or they have crohn's disease which are diseases related to interest in or they have problems with the digestion or blotting percent of women with whom we are daily interacting suffer from blocking problems since ten years already. There are just a huge researchers on how micro bio is the new brain. So what are the effects of a healthy interest in got held for your mood for your intelligence for your sleep for your skin for your immunity. And i wanted to create products easily to include in your lifestyle. So this is how we started with the first juices made with probiotics and then little by little we expanded that collection. According people specific needs i m super detail oriented person so when i decided to do my products they need to be the best in order to do the best products other that thinking about the best design for packaging and everything in the function of functionality. The raw materials need to be the best. So if you want to do the best jews you need to farm your own ingredients because if you go buy them from somewhere you're going to lose some time but if you say hey this monday. I'm going to do the production. I'm going to go and cut in the far my own. Kale and i'm going to press. That kill immediately is going to give you totally different results. Yours actually are juices. Never taste the same because it depends a lot. The balked raw materials that we are receiving every week about the season because not each season we are able to find the same raw material so we change Very often the formula so we are living in a country where we can outsource the best of some products for instance. If you wanna get good citrus. Lemon oranges you have to to city so you cannot grow actually in the north your citrus. So we buy all our citrus from sicily. The apples where you get the best apples you get them from by st lena. They have to come from mountain area or alto adige so we are giving all the green apples because they only grow in alto adige and all the red apples invited so going to the provider. Ticks also it is important. What kind of sport you are using in your provider takes because not each probiotic. So they are many sports like lactobacillus bustillo. Skoog lands evil. They're not all the best. Why because they have to be very sturdy to resist in your stomach area. There's this belief that prebiotics of let's say cultures. Yogurt cultures people tend to use them only after they get sick because the doctors tell them okay. Did you have a influence of flu. Whatever it use anti-biotics then you have to replenish your interest in flora. But it's not about that like if you think we don't. We are living in a city extremely politics. We don't have the possibility to always eat healthy. and organic. and whatever people are people nutritionist. Not as clean. So you're interested. Needs that all the time. It's not something that you have to use it occasionally but you have to use provider takes depending on your problem. You can change the quantity intake but you have to use all the time. This is what we try to encourage when i decided to make a switch from the juices to the supplement business. I wanted to do something lighter. In between because supplement is a part of pharmaceutical. It's way more complicated and the juices food so the idea was like which product can be so cool and so like a luxurious but not in a way luxurious for itself like the sensation that it gives you that you never forget. Take your supplements. So this is how the idea of chocolates born because it's a food. It's a superfood because we are using roca cacao row chocolate not the normal chocolate loss. There are highly innovative ingredients inside the chocolate. That makes them even more unique. And you have this authority chocolates. You eat one per day for your skin or for your got. Of course we are still in the field of food not food supplement and that was a very lake an idea that made us business booming. Actually so our cacao coming from ecuador. it's not soon ariba. And it's one of the most top quality cacao being in the world when it's cacao is role it's means that it's processed minimally so it's not roasted artificially. It's roasted with the sun. Actually so 'coco is a superfood itself it's gives you serotonin in many minerals and vitamins if you don't kill the cacophony it's not cooked. It's real you will get all the benefits from the cacao itself. The idea is always to do something special. In innovative that people are actually looking for and not doing a copycat of product that already exist in the market and usually it starts from the question. Like what am i looking for for myself. What are my personal needs for my beauty or health concerns so four disc collection. I wanted to divide it in different segments that we help the chocolates. We have the pills we have liquids. And we have the powder's there are people the hate to take pills. There are people they cannot use the powders because they think it's too dirty they mix with their smoothie and then there are people who prefer to use liquids because then you can put in your drink and whatever. It depends very much on how you like to take your supplements in spring this year. We are lounging this New brand called beauty charger powered by the vita. Always our own breath and they will be in the form of sasha that you put in your water in the first one is going to be called helo wrinkles so the idea is not fight with your wrinkles and become a monster because you are doing so many weird things to yourself but just to embrace them in age gracefully by taking the right supplements in the right place and right moment inhaler. We put electrolytes q ten and sign which is very good for your energy and also for anti-aging and we also put collagen peptides. Since the very beginning. I am collaborating with professional people. So it's not me in person who is formulating the juices or two supplements. But i always pick the expert person in that field to help us to to do the formulation. For instance we have a nutritionist. She specialised in boss chinese medicine and medicine in with her we are formulating most of the products related for the detoxing. When i decided to make the first clean hair supplements. I collaborated with a static. Surgeon who specialized especially in hair implants. So this is what we do for myself. I read a lots scientific researches or nutro-ceuticals business all the new ingredients. And i do also participate to certain fairs where i'm meet young people young companies who are specialized in different raw materials because dot also very important like i said your own farm where you grow your raw materials. Recently i met with this girl. She's amazing she's just found the company estonia and they are cultivating alpha alpha in sebok door. On the indeed you to best sebok down and alpha alpha so it is important where you are outsourcing your raw material. We pay attention to this aspect as wall. Alfalfa is very good for immunity because it strengths. Allot your interesting. Flora interest in this directly connected with your immune system. Is the door putting system. If you have a healthy interest in you have a healthy immune system so all fell face very very important for the interest. Sandra innoshima founder of dip. Your via speaking to monaco's milan correspondent ivan value. My thanks to both you can learn more about the brand at pure vida dot com. Thanks as walter. Christie evans mixed edited. This show daniel h thank you so much for listening in goodbye ooh.

ivan value crohn's disease alto adige Milan st lena sondra lactobacillus bustillo meany osama monica Gaza daniel middle east Kale asia sicily italy europe
Chapter 3: Life and Death

Carruth

38:07 min | 3 years ago

Chapter 3: Life and Death

"A listener. Note, this story contains adult language and some graphic descriptions of violence. Previously on Caruth. Near more. Girl. I was like, why? Why you wanted to gun. He was like because she was pregnant in at that point. That's where she decided she was going to go ahead and stay and go on with him. How many times. Many times. That's not how a murder for hire takes place. He had hired these people to kill Cherie Gaddum's. The ambience, Karen shriek Adam's race through south Charlotte and arrived at Carolinas medical center around one on November, sixteenth, nineteen. Ninety nine. Having suffered for gunshot wounds. The expectant mother had been bleeding out in the front seat of riccar depriving her unborn, son of blood and oxygen. Me. Nine one one call had led emergency responders to her door, but time was running out for both of them. Weedy have twenty nine McAndrew. Yeah. The neighbor just called in police and medics had found her BMW full of bullet holes outside a home in west square owned by Ferrell Blalock. The next thing I know the car pulled across the front yard and stopped and horn stale blowing the flashers flashing Blaylock died in two thousand fifteen. But here he is the night of the shooting talking with local news channel WBZ TV. The door. She said, I've been shot and I'm pregnant and she identified the person was in a white expedition when she Rica arrived at Carolinas medical center. A trauma team was ready. Her mother, Sandra Adams, live fairly close by in the house where she and Shariq, oh, managed to see each other almost every day except that day because she, she's like, mom, I've got to go and get rid. I gotta get outfit just right. We're going on a real date. Little did Sandra know when her phone rang early that Tuesday morning and the saga shifted to emergency rooms waiting rooms and interrogation rooms just how few days they had left from the Charlotte observer McClatchy studios. This is Caruth. I'm Scott Fowler, and this is chapter three life and death. This podcast is proud to partner with the Children's Defense Fund for more than forty years. CDF's work has been rooted in the idea that we can never give up on any child no matter where they come from the challenges they face or the color of their skin. Learn how you can help improve the odds for all children at Children's Defense dot org, slash never give up. This podcast is also supported by the national coalition against a mystic violence for forty years. The grassroots voice of victims and survivors and the catalyst for society that no longer. Tolerates domestic abuse learn how you can take a stand against domestic violence at NCA DV dot org. Now, back to our story. A little after one AM on November, sixteenth Sondra was eating a sandwich. Normally she'd have been asleep at that hour. But on that night, her mind was racing about our single daughter being thirty weeks pregnant about the dates Rica was on with Ray Caruth, the father of her child and about their attempt to reconcile Shariq. And I had this little private thing that we would eat fried bologna, and she was uppity. So she never wanted anybody to note that she was secretly fried bologna. So that night I could not sleep. I just could not sleep and gone down to the kitchen to make me a fried bologna sandwich there in the kitchen. Sandra thought about her daughter and traditions. The women in their family handed down through the generations about three pops of butter popped out in burned my hand while I was doing the onions and bologna, and another. The little secret thing we did. We would always my mom told us where you put vanilla flavor in on and take the burn out, won't leave Scott. So I had gone to the cabinet to get the vanilla flavor, and I was just laughing. And I was thinking, oh, to Rica would be saying, what are you getting ready to do? Make a pack. So it was a little inside joke enough, finished making it then the phone rang. When I answered it was the hospital on the line. And my mind immediately went to, I have fallen and broke my ankle and my insurance head and finished paying all of the Bill, and they had been calling me and harassing me. So I'm thinking I cannot believe they call an after midnight about this money. And so I was very irritated when they told me it was the hospital and they were like, do you have a daughter is Tariq Adams, I was like, yes, I do. And they were like, well, your daughter is at the hospital. She's been shot. Then I was like, oh, no. I was like, don't play with me. You know, sees it. She was on a date. She was at the movies. She's not at no hospital and they were like. We're getting ready to take her in to do a Syrian section to deliver her baby. And I just remember drop into monies and just wailing is God just please don't let my baby die. The four bullets torn into Cherie Kaz body from her left hand side, which had been closest to the car door and to the shooter van Brett Watkins. The first bullet entered her hip. The second her side just below her ribcage. The third bullet entered her upper back and then exit higher on a right side near her shoulder blade, perhaps indicating she had begun leaning away from the gunfire. The final bullet grazed the top of Cherie Kaz left shoulder and then embedded in the left side of her neck. Shot on. The four bullets had ripped through her pancreas stomach, liver lungs and other organs. It's remarkable. She was alive at all and police marvel to this day at her strengthened night. Her non one call is painful to listen to, and she was our tickets. She gave so much information. There's a couple of points. We just want to grab the dispatchers come on. I'm getting at warrant you. This is Darryl price of the Charlotte Mecklenburg police force. He's been there thirty seven years now and has searched for hundreds of murder suspects. He was a detective assigned to investigate the shooting after listening to it. You're sitting there thinking this got to be willing to brave women. She has been shot four times. She's able to look at a sign, see where she's pulling into down. I'm on one and give such good information. Yes. If the hospital surgeons immediately went to work. A lot of blood, even though she could talk a little bit. This is dosa. Hickey neonatologist, and the Panthers fan who had once met Caruth during the team's football wanna. One event, she took care of chancellor Li during much of his stay in the hospital and quickly became the family's favorite doctor significant injury. And a lot of the injury was to the abdomen, very near to where he was is it is miraculous that he survived because Rica was in very bad shape. When she came in. He is chancellor Lee born at one forty, two AM on a vendor, sixteenth nineteen. Ninety nine about seventy five minutes after sharia had been shot. He was ten weeks, premature and weighed only three pounds, eleven ounces. He was rushed into the neonatal ICU in respiratory distress, but he was alive and so was sharia yet. Doctors feared the worst in the minutes after sharia was shot. Blood had poured from her wounds and chancellor had begun to suffocate insider township hypertensive, and you can compensate for while the placenta compensates. But when it gets certain point, the placenta does not get enough blood flow. When that happens. The baby doesn't get oxygen to all the organs, but especially when you worry about the most is the Brian. Unfortunately, the brain is not an organ that can regenerate the liver can regenerate. If if part of it still there, sometimes kid. These camp at the brain is not an area that generates all. So he lost oxygen and that causes brain damage doctors, race to save two lives. Sondra raced to the hospital. She barely remembers getting there. Sandra knows that at some point she made several phone calls including one to Cherie Carr's father. When she arrived. She was told she couldn't see her daughter or grandson yet, you know, they came out and told me that they had to revive chancellor and it. He had severe damage to his brain and they hit him in the Neo Natal unit and Torika. They were trying to stabilize her and they had told me, you know, they could not retrieve all the bullets out of her so they were going to leave her open and because so many of her internal org. Were affected. They didn't know what they might need to do. So for the next several hours with their daughter, clinging to life on one floor and her grandson fighting for breath on another Sandra was helpless in the waiting room. She hugged other relatives as they showed up, she worried and she prayed. Suddenly another thought occurred to her. I'm mmediately decided, oh my God, I got a call Ray because he doesn't know what's happened. You know, somehow she got shot going home or whatever, and I'm like, I got a call him. So I had to numbers. I had a cell phone number and a beeper number for him. And so I just continually just kept calling both both no answer and I was leaving messages. I mean, it was some hours past any steel hitting call me back. And I was just so concerned that he needed to know what happened. Sondra still vividly remembers the next part of that night. In fact, her recollection is one of the few we have to go on Jeff Moonie Cherie Carr's father passed away in two thousand five Caruth declined repeated invitations to be interviewed for this project or to answer questions about Cherie shooting. Caruth did allow his lead defense attorney, David Rudolf to speak on his. Behalf. I didn't ask him about that in particular, and I don't remember what he told me back nineteen years ago about what he was doing in the in the meantime, but putting it together with what I now know. I think he was panicked. Trying to figure out what should I do. And I think you know, after a number of phone calls trying to settle himself down, he decided, you know, I need to go to the hospital, but you know. And partly, you know, if you feel sort of morally responsible for having set these wheels in motion, if you will. You're gonna feel guilty. You know, go into the hospital in, there's the mother and the father. So it's, it's a really, you know, it's one thing if he hadn't. You know if this was really a hit where you know they drove by her apartment and and killed her. And then then he goes to the hospital, you know. There's not that same level of of guilt and anxiety and panic. But here he is, you know, he's had this argument with van Brett Watkins. He backed out of this deal. He's in that way caused this oughta go down. He fled. And now he's got a show up at the hospital. You know, it's. It's it's a, it's a difficult moment. I think Sandra Adam saw that same tension but in a different way. So you know you hearing all this from the doctors in in steel? No Ray here in finally, Ray comes in with another woman and I, I never forget the scene where they're sitting over there and she sitting in the chair and Ray sitting in between her legs and she's massaging ratio der-. 'cause he's so tensed and I went over like a mad woman. I knew just seeing that scene that he knew what happened to my baby and I confronted him. I let him know that I know you know what happened and you did it. You did it Sondra walked away after a few minutes she approached Caruth again, not once. You know, even before I was a little more I raid, he never showed no emotional house Rica. How's the baby? I do remember Jeff coming over and he was able to talk to him what calmly and whatever. And I remember going back up and I was like, what do you even care? What happened to do you even want to see your son? I mean, you hadn't even say anything about your son Caruth said he did want to see his son. So Sandra led him to the neonatal ICU. We will walking down to the Neo Natal unit, and I recall him being on the phone with his agent. I remember that phone call. I'm like, he's calling his agent and trying to get a story together. And I'm like. So we got down to the Nick, you and they let us in and chancellor is hooked up to all these tubes in incubator in everything. And so the nurse was telling us, you know, we couldn't take him out, but we could stick our finger into touch him of whatever. So I do remember asking him if he wanted to touch him and he said, no, he just wanted to get a picture of him. And he said, because this might be the last time I get to see him and that just solidified it for me. I'm like, you did it. Why else would you say you wouldn't see him again, if you didn't do it chancellor lease birth certificate, his mother's full name was listed. The space for father was left blank. Caruth would later take DNA tests to ensure the baby was his. But for many, it was hardly necessary from the very beginning chancellor. Early looked remarkably like his father. I would say when they were doing the DNA, but all of us just sat there and went. He cannot deny that this child he had that same face and he looks just like Ray Cruz. He's in the beginning. This podcast is supported by safe alliance, providing hope and healing to more than thirteen thousand survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault in the Charlotte area. Each year. Muhammed growing up. I was physically assaulted by my father who often used religion as the basis for his abuse. The only thing worse than being physically abused was watching the ones you love most go through the same thing. Domestic violence is an issue that occurs to women in all communities, faiths and ethnic groups. See how your donation helps build a healthy and peaceful community at safe alliance dot org. Now, back to our story. Eight that morning, law enforcement was arriving at the hospital down at the Charlotte Mecklenburg police department. A sergeant named Tom eighth ran the homicide unit. He had quickly assembled a team. We hear all homicide suicide. There's also about everything that's kind of how profile. So we're very busy. So one of the guys on my squad was called in. He worked for me. So then it became my responsibility. So I didn't really know anything about drug out to work the next morning and kind of come in and see all the news trucks out back and maybe you know, please house again, arrested, somebody shot somebody, but it integrate. I found out about why got there in the morning, eighties retired now living on the North Carolina coast. But at the time he led the investigation which sometimes included as many as four detectives eighty cent price to the hospital saying he would join him. Surely with luck, price could speak with the victims ship been in surgery since early that morning. And and she had just come out by the time. I got to the hospital. This is price. Again, lot of family members were there, so I got to meet them and talk to them a little bit about what they knew. They didn't know much started talking about her relationship with Ray. And at that point I didn't have a lot of clue who was at it and watch Panthers football. So I wasn't a fan boy, the doctors articulated, they had delivered the baby very prematurely. At that point, the prognosis was that should Rica would probably survive. But the baby most likely would not. They really were concern because chancellor had to be revived, hit literally passed away, and he had to be revived. So they were really concerned about his ability. Normally, I have a difficult time with the children cases. I had a child at the time. She's now grown adult. My child then was seven years old. But in this case, I just remember being more focused on. Hoping she would come out of her anesthesia so that we could try to talk to or that day because the information would have been more fresh that day. About seven hours after arriving at the hospital, Sharifa was wheeled out of surgery and into a recovery room. Her family soon joined her for several hours after that sharia was able to communicate, but because she was intimated, the tube inserted down her throat made her unable to speak. So instead she wrote it was one of the nurses that had made the suggestion that she couldn't talk, but possibly she could write, here's price again. And so she was given a pad and pin, and the nurse had asked if you questions I and she was able to write the answers down. So at that point started asking more questions about where she had VanHoose she'd been with and wanted occurred her that particular day through the entire ordeal. Sharia had lost six leaders of blood one and a half times what her body would have normally held. And of course she had just delivered a baby and she asks for the pay. And pencil with everything Rica had endured price wondered how lucid she could be. But there was no question and saunas mind. I know see knew what he was talking about because Rica hated to have chat lives. She absolute the hated and they had these tubes and stuff. And she was writing on the paper chapstick and I said, she knows exactly what she's talking about. She was able to give us enough to where we were take that lead and work with more questions I know was. Do you think Ray was involved? And she just made a question Mark. After that, I've seen copies of those notes Rica wrote the handwriting is obviously labored. But in one spot, she clearly wrote quote, he was driving in front of me and stopped in the road and a car pulled up beside me, and he blocked the front and never came back. Still the new mother had no idea who had actually shot her and soon under doctor's orders. She was given more medication and went back to sleep at a particular point of she kind of wound down, and we were told that we needed to let arrest and obviously based on the fact that toll, we thought she was going to provide. You know, there's gonna be another day, so we kinda laughed at that and moved on. Price spoke with sharia eighty focused on the hospital waiting room career was still there and the sergeant wasted. No time. He told me that I contact is invaluable to police in part because lawyers aren't typically involved yet. Remember there was another girl with him, but hundred percent sure of that. But the only thing that really zeroed in on was he had a a cell phone with things on his look. Look phone and started going through some of the contacts numbers, and you know, kinda right in that stuff down the lease at one crucial thing on their side that already heard the tape from Cherie Cas nine one one call Caruth couldn't have known what she'd told the dispatchers, much less that atheist already heard it back gasline you can just tell from talking to people, you know, I mean, you got to remember what we knew at the time was what Rica settlement. I'm on call. I mean, I'm not the smartest kind of world plaguing fairly ignorant of things need to. So I mean, I kind of knew what they was, but he didn't know that I knew that the waiting room wasn't the place for a confrontation, though eighties team could soon go to work on the cellphone records. They hope to schedule later conversation with Caruth down at the police station. But before he left the waiting room that morning eighty one at one more thing from the NFL player his car. We got him to consent for us to searches. Vehicle. He's pretty forthcoming about that because there's really no physical evidence time him to anything in that car. And we figured out why after we kinda got into this thing, any further interviews with Caruth however, were quickly put on hold the for the day was out to Ruth had hired George, Lauren, a well known, Charlotte defense attorney who represented multiple pro athletes involved in scrapes with the law. Lauren had no intention of letting Caruth taught to police. George declined to lettuce and everybody's client, but we go back in see what comes of the vehicle search, which is really nothing. And the next thing that we would have done would be start looking at these phone records in dentist. People he's been talking to at the police station, those records painted a bleak picture. Thanks largely to what was at the time, cutting edge technology. We started looking into phone records because he had made a comment that she was on the phone with, right? Here's price again. So we're able to pull her records, and then we subpoenaed. Raise records as well, and we were able to piece together pretty quickly that he's talking her from the time. They left the movie theater, and then he gets off the phone to take another phone call with this Kennedy. Got then he gets back on the phone with her, and this was very new at the time, the cell phone, triangulation, that you could take cell phone records, figure out which towers were being used and trying lay location within a few yards. And we could put raise cell phone where she was shot. So then we started going back and talking to the person he called in between the two Sirri calls, and that eventually leads us to the shooter and another person who is in a car. Four days went by. In fact, at the hospital, there was finally caused for optimism, chancellor lease prognosis was gradually improving. Seizure because of the hat poxy the lack of oxygen he had had a nude a row. Yeah, no, for sure. It wasn't one of the subtle ones. It was a real sasia Doshi Hickey again, she saw chancellor league for the first time when he was a few hours old hold having that seizure got some medication, and that's the only time he did. Everybody was always going to be worried about him because of what went on. But he took a bottle. He did things like a baby was supposed to do before. He went home because of the lack of oxygen. Hickey worried that chancellor Li might have developed cerebral palsy a disorder often characterized by normal reflexes stiffness in the limbs, trimmers and delays, and motor skills and speech development, but that diagnosis is hard to make for infants worried when he had the see you can't tell for sure. So it's time to start making your milestones when you all when you start talking. When you start rolling? Actually, if you roll over early, that's a bad sign because it means you're stiff. He was able to take a bottle, but that's a very basic reflex. Defied doctors expectations. However, his mother's condition worsened doctors propose what was then an experimental treatment option for ceriga called egg, oh, there would put her in a medically induced coma and use machines to bypass the function of her heart and lungs Rica was fighting so hard to live. She already had pumped long and all her organs would just missed up. But she was trying so hard to live. It was just overbearing pressure on the loans and owner heart. And at the time the doctor did come out and tell us that they wanted to try this new procedure and had never been done on an adult. It only been performed with children, but they thought that they could use this ecm oh, and help her to live almost immediately sharia the five foot four womanhood modeled as a teenager. Began retaining fluids and transforming before her mother's is that that Knicks morning. See. Did not even look like sharia. And so when I went into see, I thought I was in Rome room after one day. Of course, I have plenty funny stories when she was born. She had little round face. She had a head full of hair so they had put her hair down on the sides and did a mohawk of the top. And I was like, they gave me around town. So they assured me this. This is the one you haying. And so that first day seeing her again, after the coma was induced, she was at round-faced baby. She just didn't have the mohawk. And it was such a surreal moment for me. This podcast is supported by no more. No more. It's none of my business. No more. He didn't mean it no more. Not my problem. No more. She was flirting with him. No more. She was asking for it. No more boys will be boys. No more say something next time noble or by standing? No more ignorance. No more excuses. No more pledged to be part of the movement and donate to help prevent domestic violence at no more dot org. Now, back to our story. For nearly a month. Price visited sharia enter family almost every day to keep them updated on the investigation by then a row of framed family photos line. The window sill over hospital room and bunches of get-well-soon balloons decorated the corners of the ceiling. They had elevator bed so that it would help drain into the fluids. One picture of me in the room, whether whether bed probably close to six feet off the ground. Here's price. Again, I would have to venture gifts that every day one of the family members there. So I got to know them super. Well. You know, during this time I wasn't just going in hospital every day. We were doing this and doing that and as including the sergeant, you know, as soon as we bring information back to him, he would make sense of it, develop new task. You know, trying to piece together what a Kurd. At the police station groups expedition had come up empty for DNA or other evidence tying into the crime, but had another use for it. We're not going to go out there and Michael his door in give me to talk to us. So we call them on the phone, right? We've got your call. We're kind of done with. That's love. You come here and get this car. The media's everywhere. You know, you have to deal with all these jackass media people this, no offense. I'm just trying to get him on our side. You know, they're going to be up in your face, blah, blah, blah. So here what we do, this will come out there and get you. We'll bring you down here. We'll get into the parking deck so you can sign the paperwork to pick up your car. So he's all about that or buddies at that time. Eighteen another officer drove out and picked up Caruth at his home, driving back to the station eighty set in the front seat on the passenger side and Caruth sat in the back always conscious of appearances. Caruth made an observation. I've got my left hand only armrest looking over my shoulder counted, just make a small. That time I used to wear the Rolex watch, and he looks to watch you said, hey, is that a fake Rolex. Actually bought this. You know what I mean? Well, you just been involved. I'm trying to murder your girlfriend and you. You wanna bust on me for wearing a fake Rolex, but anyway, at the station, the sergeant stalled eighty said, the SUV wasn't quite ready to be picked up and sent Caruth to an interview room to wait there. He convinced the football player to look at a list of his own phone records and explain what number Caruth had called over and over in the prior few months. We quit wind get your so we can get you out of this thing and move on my lawyer. Not supposed to tell you. I understand that's not under rescue. If something happens, you're going to be the person to consequences. Not your lawyer. If you gotta go to prison, guess who ain't going to prison George, Lauren. I'll tell you what, let's just do this. I was wanting to look at some of these phone numbers and this time who these people are. So he's going through these name them all right and lamps and it gets down to the one that turns out to be thin Brent Watkins, and he, he just gets right over that like his quickest finger could move. That's who's this person. And I can't remember his response, but it clearly wasn't the truth and so is clear to me. That number was important. That phone number led to the switchboard at a budget motel new Charlotte's airport, the villager lodge, but not to a specific room. Police released Caruth car and cinema his way and puzzled over the mysterious motel guest. The key break there came from Michael Kennedy. Designated place was to happen past place. And he like turnabout. We came in the driver in the drive-by shooting was the first to cooperate with police. Here he is talking with Charlotte, Mecklenburg police officer, Tony rice. How will make time on Amanda Rabah chewed say. He said, why would you say? Well, we need notice. He said, I'm gonna call you, and I went out to me down his role right here and he was like, wait my what to do Kennedy didn't know what real name, but he gave police a good description of the shooter. Nine days after sharia was shot. Police were patrolling the village or lodge. Law enforcement was closed on Raveling Karusa legend plan a plan that soon was no longer conspiracy to avoid a child support payment. On December fourteenth nineteen ninety nine. It became cold blooded burger. Serena's doctors tried experimental treatments and conventional care, but by mid December, she had been unconscious for twenty seven straight days. And there were few options left. Chancellor was still there in the hospital as well. And Cherie Carr's family asked if he could be brought to a room. And the family ask if he could come up to the adults care unit hooky again and room was full and people out in the hall, and we came in in Sandra, looks up, but and goes, there's Dr Hickey was chancellor and we wrapped him up and we laid him on her chest for while Rica was never able to actually see chancellor while she was conscious. As soon as she delivered chancellor, he had to immediately be taken to the Nick you. There were two occasions that we took chancellor to her on both the occasions. I know she felt his presence because when we lay chancellor on her breast, the monitor's immediately started going crazy that heart monitor was just all. All up and down up and down in that let me know see, knew he was present and I just remember the one tier. She had one tier to come out. The sad of soon after the family decided to let her go. By the time we took her off the life support. She was two hundred eighty two payments. I didn't even have anything that she could wear. So the last day that ceriga was ceriga to us was November sixteenth. We definitely was praying for a different outcome that both of them would live and and get better. But I, I had so much peace because she was existing. She was not living. So I didn't have to think long on making that decision. And I knew, and I know she knew that her son was in good hands, and so we made really, I made the decision to take her off of life support. Chirico Adams died at twelve forty three PM on that December day with their parents inter family. By her side, her son was four weeks old. A few hours later chancellor Li did something unexpected. Chancellor had not had what's called an ATM, expel the whole damn times been in the unit. Were you stop breathing, and your heart rate drops that night. He had an app expel, and all of a sort of looked at each other went. We're not gonna worry about this. It was. It was it was it gave us all hope. I think it was something having to do with her passing. A few hours after that Caruth was on the run. I'm Scott Fowler. And this podcast is produced by Jeff signer and Rachel Weisz and Davin Coburn at McClatchy studios, fine. Lots more about this case at Charlotte observer dot com slash Caruth and for just thirty dollars subscribe now to a full year of the observers, award-winning sports coverage at Charlotte, observer dot com. Slash sports pass in chapter four, the federal manhunt for a fugitive. I saw a segment on good Morning America Ray Caruth fled the state. He could sense this was going to get turned on him and him alone, something that horrific net calculated use in my team. It could not have done that adrenaline kicked in. I thought that he is here the door completely naked girl in there. I said Ray with the FBI I have agents surrounded the.

Ray Caruth chancellor Rica Ray Sandra Charlotte chancellor Li Scott Fowler Sondra murder Michael Kennedy Caruth Cherie Carr Sandra Adams Panthers Chirico Adams Cherie Gaddum CDF
Talking "The Cosby Show" with GEOFFREY OWENS

The Laugh Track With Gerry Strauss

31:09 min | 1 year ago

Talking "The Cosby Show" with GEOFFREY OWENS

"It's one of the greatest sitcoms in the history of TV. That people just don't talk about very much anymore, but this time out. We're going back to the house of huxtable. Why because it was a great funny show and we could all use some funny these days right? This week were talking to Geoffrey Owens. Who Played Elvin on the Cosby show? I'm Jerry Strauss and this is the left's. Do. You need your weekly comedy, fix? Relaxed while we visited the sitcoms. You love the jokes you remember the characters you will never forget in the stars that bring them to you. Sit Back. It's the laugh track with Jerry Stri. Hello again everyone and welcome to the laugh track. JERRY STRAUSS IS I. Thank you so much for joining us this week. It's your your weekly dose of escapism more than anything else these days just like the TV comedies and sitcoms that we talk about each week here on the laugh track we hope to give you a bit of a break from all the craziness going on in the world, and we're going to be doing it in a very interesting way. This is a conversation that was really. Really interested in having about a show that unfortunately gets overlooked now on that top echelon of TV of TV comedies, one of the greatest and. Most highly rated most popular most successful sitcoms of all time the cosby show, and of course you know due to the issues of the actions in the ramifications legally of everything that went on with Mr Bill Cosby. It's a show. That's kind of been swept under the rug. You don't see it a lot on TV. You don't see it pop up a lot in discussions or on best of lists or anything like that, but. It's hard to forget. What a great show! It was and the great comedy the great performances that came from that show. Many of which had nothing to do with bill, cosby himself, but the rest of the crew cast the family the huxtables. So many great moments from that Amazing Ensemble and we wanted to talk about it because that's part of what we do here. Especially these days with everything going on to the world. It's important and especially considering this is a show that did so much during the eighties to cut a bridge that racial divide, if you will in breakdown, some of those stereotypes that. Ellen fortunately have never. Truly disappeared but the positivity. That came from that show undeniable both as far as a cultural impact, just completely just a classic classic comedy in every sense of the word so great great conversation this week with Jeffrey. Who Played Elvin? You may remember as the boyfriend eventually the husband of Sandra huxtable. Guy Who popped up early on in the series and eventually became a regular part of the cast This is a great look back at a time. Way He was kind of evolved. His character was at its peak, and we look back at a really special to called the birth, which was really a great sampler of everything that the cosby show was so. You know I hope that you're open to it i. hope that you enjoy it and I hope that you know it entertains you. That's all we're trying to do here. The laugh tracks without any further do it is Jeffrey Elyse here on the left track. I I've been asking everyone. Lately is how how are you? How are you holding up? It's a unique time and like what's your? What's your life been like in the last month or so? well, you know it's strange. That might sound. My life really isn't. I don't think my life this different. From what it usually is as other people's lives might be I know there are some other people out there. Who might be able to relate to this, but. My life isn't really drastically different matter because my life before this crisis. Involved a lot of staying home. It's amazing. How much staying home you do when you're unemployed. so, my largely unemployed life. Kept me at home quite a bit except for going out for a walk or or driving the car to a store or something, exactly kind of what it is now. I mean My favorite things to do our indoor things like reading and playing music. I both playing music. You know listening to music, also playing music. I play guitar, and Blah Blah Blah so. I've been doing a lot of that recently. I get in the car and I drive here or there where I need to Like I used to, it's it's it's actually eerily similar. Except for the. Overwhelming feeling that. I am not allowed to do certain things that I might want to do. That's the the thing that's most different isn't even a practical thing. It's a theoretical. Cloud hanging over me and everyone like. Even. If you wanted to do this now, you could. And that and that upsets me, but it's not really like I. Do that thing a lot anyway, but the thing about the cosby show and of course I think everyone knows exactly where I'm about to go here. It's a weird thing, even today. It's a weird show to talk about because I feel like there's a lot of people who just. For whatever reason aren't comfortable kind of embracing in and of itself anymore or for for obvious reasons. And I think there's a lot of people who fall and neither side of the fence about whether it's okay to go back and enjoy the show to be able to watch the show into laugh at the show. It's hard to find on TV. I know that there are still what or two channels that do still play it. yeah yeah. But it's. It's weird because I mean look, let's be honest with ourselves. At there been no, who you know, controversy, no scandal, no legal issues, none of that cosby show would be looked at at easily a top five TV comedy of all time I believe I mean it would just be. UPPER-ECHELON ICONIC and yet we're not allowed to talk about it like that. The show is still as good as it was before. Where do you fall on that? You have ciccio such. A, place history there. We're not allowed. We're not allowed to talk about it perhaps, but I'll tell you something. How people really feel about something privately is different than what they're allowed to talk about. So. We may not be allowed to talk about the cosby show. In a certain way, we may not be allowed to officially recognize it as one of the top shows of all time. But. My conviction is and this is just a hunch. That, for most of those. Tens of millions of people or over the decades, hundreds of millions of people who loved admired the show. For most of them. That show still has that place in their hearts. There are some people of course who will reject it and wants to reject it because of what happened to Mr, cosby. But in my experience I've had so many people. Say to me. You know I still love that show I know this and that is true and. What I'm sorry about this, and that but I love that show. And I I think it's a great show. There's nothing else like it and bought all Blah you know so I really feel like you know in in Anaheim. Time is a funny thing. I mean time I think it will not only be emotionally. Recognized as a great show as it is I think still now, but I think legally officially it will someday be reinstated when as a society we are allowed to do that. I agree and I am one of those people speak of I. Personally feel comfortable kind of separating the reality from the quality of the writing and the performances on that show. Which of course you know, it was the cosby show, but I don't think in any way we should discredit you know even beyond Mr Cosby himself. Be just the. Ince's of everyone else including yourself cast. They mean anyways that was truly a kind of a an ensemble show, because there were so many memorable characters, and you know a lot of plots. We all remember. It wasn't necessarily about one person it it it literally absolutely. And you of course. You played elven Timoteo which ended up, being probably the most impactful character on the show who was not originally part of the huxtable family, just what an amazing character that you were allowed to kind of build an evolve overtime. What? What was your process like? I mean that's take up too much time with with. No that's fine. Well How well how did you get to the point of playing? Elvin and what originally was that character supposed to be I? You know I'm not I'm not sure what it was supposed to be, but I mean you know people talk about process and you know it's like it comes to certain kinds of work. You know your processes learning your lines. and making them make sense to you. Learning your lines and Making them feel like they are really coming out of your mouth and out of your being. And that's a big. That's a big part of the work. You know if you can take your self over here, and then what these writers have written for you and you know when I started on the show. You know they weren't thinking Oh. We're writing for Geoffrey Owens. They didn't even know the. Geoffrey Owens was going to be that accurate. Until the very last minute, the way happened I mean they I got cast I started working on my first episode the day I was out. Okay so it wasn't like Oh. We know Jeffrey Owens's work that. Shakespeare actor. You know who who's been doing off Broadway and regional shakespeare work over the last. And so we're writing. No, we just. We're writing Alvin. What this character might be. And then Jeffrey only is GONNA have to fit in and the reason I mean the reason I got cast I. Suppose is because I was the guy who was most like what bill and the folks on the show had in mind. You know that that's just that's it you know I somehow. Read the script in my auditions. The way closest to what they had in mind of the actors that they were considering, and then my process was like okay. These lines sometimes are what I might say. Sometimes. They're not what I would say as Jeffrey owns. I've gotTA. Make I've gotta find a way to make all of this real to me so that it sounds real and feels real. And it feels organic and inorganic in the show. So that's really the process. Now as the years went on, the writers wrote more. Elaborate. With me, I suppose they you know. They? They got more used to the character and more used to me, and so they had more direction in terms of what they were doing, but it was always a matter of weird is Elvin and Jeffrey meet. and. How does that make something that's organic within the framework of the family and the episode etcetera that will not only be real, but hopefully be funny. You know My character obviously was very much a foil for Bill as especially as it began. Somewhat went on especially when it began I was like I was the bad guy. A bad friend, who we didn't want to have anything to do with his daughter you and that was the fun of it. I couldn't do anything right right. He was correcting me all the time, admonishing me his wife Admonish me, and that famous first episode her very famous iconic admonishment of make, which is often quoted, and you know shown you know, so. It was fun at that I was a bit of A. Bit of a Nerd, but at the same time I was a macho nerd. A Macho nerd. That's kind of how I've described Elliott over the year. You know you created this character at the beginning. Of course you know a chauvinist, just not a super likable guy, especially as he said to the huxtable parents. At what point did you know or did you have any idea at the beginning that Elvis was going to be around for the long haul and have the not at all and change. Not at all, I was hired for one episode. I did that what was so? Yes hired one episode I. Did that episode never thinking of moment that I would be back? Except That, when the episode the evening that we shot it. Then went. Very well and bill. At the end we took a Kurt. We used to take a curtain call at the end of the of the filming in front. The live audience and Bill said something very nice about something today that we might see this young man again or something like that and I went. Oh, that's interesting till that moment. I'd never even considered and even after he said it I. Don't know I mean I. was you know I I was the kind of. I am a real pragmatist. I'm I'm not a pessimist real pragmatist so when he's saying that didn't mean anything to me, so that was a nice thing to say. But I know that doesn't mean that I'm GonNa be that. But Three months later, I was back and then three months after that or something like that I was on only three times I the that first season I was on and it only only three times the second season, and then the third season. I was on which was actually the fourth season of the show I was put under contract, and I ended up being more like five or six episodes of season, the first few seasons three times a season and I was always sound like I. Don't know call ever be back. To hear the stories of the character that you clearly catches on both with the viewership and everyone behind the scenes to the point where the they do change their plans and bring you expand. That role in the opportunity becomes bigger. That's a great testament I think to not only the character that was developed by your ability to to inhibit performance. So it just it just work. I guess it worked and they liked it. And they people like it, and so they just they went it. They were good enough to put me on contract. My third season and I was on contract for five years. You know. Not doing not doing most shows each year, but you know. As I said for maybe five six seven episodes of. Season and able to do other things at the same time doing a lot of theatre still around the show. was. It was good it was a good deal. Again when people look back at the cosby show who lived it and watched it and think back to their favorite episodes in their favorite moments. You know I think that it's those moments are shared by a lot of different members of the cast, and not just focus on Mr, cosby. It's a lot of people have times shine? Certainly, you were a part of a lot of those moments as well. You picked it episode that I really liked. I really liked the. The choice that you had because it was a two part episode, which really gave an opportunity for an expanded story, even though not that much happened, but it was an important moment in the show's history. It was season five. It was called simply the birth, and this is really to me a big culmination of the journey that started when you debuted on the show, and the journey that you had as a person individually and also alongside now your wife Sondra huxtable. Your into becoming parrot so it was It was really a trusted. Go back and watch that jury member at that point like how did you feel going into the episode in knowing that this was going to essentially probably be the biggest change in your characters life. You know what you're probably didn't think any of that stuff i. just thought wow, I have more lines to learn the usual. I'm, serious. I'm too okay, so it was season five, which means at this point I'm on contract, you know. I'm on kind of semi regularly. and the double a kind of a double episode. It it features Sandra and me. A lot of lines to learn a lot of seems I've got hyperventilating to do which I know. Nothing about I've ever happened to me in real life, so I've got a. how does one hyperventilate to do that in a realistic way? You know The show was the show was funny. That way because over the years and show would throw me these challenges like your wrestler. Your, you're this, you you hyperventilate you. You moonwalk. You imitate built. These in the script and I'm like Oh. That's nice so now. I have four days. To learn how to do that. Right so. For waiting was one of those things, so you know it wasn't. I wasn't thinking you know. Oh, now the double episode involving the birth of our child children. Sandra and I evolved into a deep. Philosophical Jerry is like a lot of lines lot of scenes. Let me hit the. Hit, the and See if I can make this real funny at the same time, it's the same old challenge. And by the way I, don't remember the episode very specifically. You just watched it. I didn't I haven't seen the episode and Probably Thirty Twenty Five, at least, if not thirty years, so you have can help dogs my memory. azure about. charred. We're just GONNA hit the high points here, but I mean the one thing they'll say overall it touches back to actually what you just said. Make it funny and make it real because there was. Certainly, aspects of sort of the comedic side of what you brought to Elven the hyper, just the hyper nervousness, the hyperventilating, the you know in the script you had mentioned during talk with with Mr Huxtable that you actually on the drive to the hospital had to get out and let Sandra drive us at all so. A lot of those jokes. Very funny now I remember that joke very good. I haven't watched it many years either personally I think I've probably seen it since like way before I had kids. By everyone in the emotions that you went through is taken to the to the hyper level as you did. I related to every single what did that because the beginning the beginning of the show you and such show up at the Hawks? The house and nobody thinks that it's time except you, but at this point, you're very calm. You're almost robotic. You're just watching a stop watch and keeping drilling of every single beat every single step that she takes and timing everything almost. No, yeah, it's coming! It's coming back to me now. Thank you, I'm. Being. There wasn't that. At the end of that scene, don't I run out of the door without her and cliff fast the yell out of the door open. You forgot your way. Yes, exactly absolutely. I run out of the door, and you hear the sound of the cars star and partake long. It's fantastic, but you know what it's like. That's why you flip the switch the second that it became apparent that yes, it is time. Yes, this is happening now and you went from that super almost like meditative state to just sing. Hyper and you know as funny as it was I could relate I. Remember the same thing the call at work and let your mind just kind of goes blank, and you become a maniac, and that's exactly exactly how it played out and then. You know there's this great scene you guys arrived at the hospital and you know Sandra is very calm and she's taken to the back, but there's the scene of you trying to navigate the forms with nurse, the paperwork and Now regularly. I. Keep saying stupid wrong things I now thank you. This is coming back to me. And there was another there was another guy. Who is there ahead of me. Do we got? Oh, we come to the desk at the same time. I come to the death of the same ties as other guy played by Mack Games. Last name was coped, and I thought he was Robert Copes on, and he wasn't robbing cups on anyway. we have this kind of back and forth like no I'm here. I I'm I'm here for and then I answer all the questions in a weird way, yeah! That was a fun scene. Yeah, that was a really fun thing to do. I love that scene. It was great and you know. The capture of that is when the other guy he realizes. He leaves his wife in the parking lot. He runs out. You say the nurse something like Uh. Some people before you. said. Right. Oh my gosh. Dad. So, it's a definitive I'd have to say a couple of episodes for the TV show, and you know the rest of the family kind of trickles in, so we get different pizzas, just kind of slowing down. Not a whole lot happens in this episode for a two parter. It's just kind of waiting game a little bit of just waiting until those babies common people arriving and yes, people getting emotional and you. A lot of great, yes. You had a great one with with fister with Mr Cosby with dister, huxtable kind of just really letting all out and talking about how you know your fears of kind of being destined to fail as a father, and you know all these things that you're worried about that very realistically. Drive all the paranoia and the stress that you're you're showing. Yeah, I remember at one point game. What is by I'm like what if I what is? You know And you know just sort of that. The wisdom that was given to you from him was sort of just you have to go with the flow and met something that just that nobody has a parent would understand before they put in the time of being a parent, so all those concerns very rational, especially with the big reveal later in the episode after the birth happens that it is in fact, twins that you guys have. Oh, that's right that was. That was a surprise. Reveal at the end wasn't. Established at first, no one knew the that's right. That's right. It was surprise to you and Sandra known that previously, it was revealed so that kind of rationalize is even more. How freaked out you about everything knowing that you were about to have twins. Nobody else knew that. Oh I! Don't even remember that Jerry so we knew that already. Yeah that was revealed in the end. The doctor, the doctor who was handling you let everyone know that that you guys had been told that after your way back after your first Sonogram, but you had decided to keep it secret. Surprise for all the grandparents. So. I thought that was. Lovely young actor who played the doctor. Tk I think his name was Awesome awesome and I remember the The hyperventilating. hyperventilating and and Bill Bill at some point just saying to me, reason the bag boy. Little that little brown paper bag to to help my breathing. Reason the back. In the second then you said you were recovered. You're in the room, you said you think you're okay. A breathing never breathe better, and and and then she started having contractions that you started hiding. But in the end I made it. Obviously it all works out. The twins are, and it's. It's not the kind of episode where there's ever any services, Spencer jeopardy, or any sort of you know conservative. Medical issue, it's just sort of the feel good moment that I think. The fans of that show really were accustomed to and had earned at that point following. You guys up to a meter. Yeah it never became was never like cosby. Show me ski. Are It never right there? Was Nice that if Yeah and You know you're right about the pace of that. Show it not a lot happens. It was just the waiting factor. You're right. The weighting factor, which is such a key factor in these events right? Was I think something that the writers constructed in and and created wonderfully now that I'm thinking of it that so much of it was conversations while waiting. You know the actual event to very relatively little time. Waiting waiting in that that gentle kind of suspense and The conversations the relationships was was basically the heart and the soul of that of those episodes. And it's. It's kind of appropriate because I, think reality is that that's the heart, the soul of what the cosby show. was, you know we grew to love. The people can kind of empathize with them and relate to them and the things that they went through just everyday life stuff so yeah. Again thank you so much for choosing to episodes because I think that was perfect and of slice of looking. At what that show has been. Would you want to possibly connecting the future? Come back and maybe even invite. People say questions because I. Think there's I think it would be really interesting. Yeah would be cool, you know. I really. WanNa go with your theory and I truly believe that agree with you as well that there are so many cosby show fans out there who haven't had a real comfortable atmosphere to talk about the show that they love free years I think this would be a cool opportunity to to allow. To will carry you and I worked out. I got to come back. Excellent yeah, we'll do it. We'll go back to the beginning when you were at with. Elvin was at his worst. Yeah, so that'll be. So all right? Jeffrey. Chilled Ed, thank you so much for doing this. This was. Really. trended. Thanks! Thanks have a great night. Stay well be safe. Everyone listening. Guys the laugh track podcast is produced and hosted by me Jerry Strauss with editing and additional production by our Buddy Steve Prentice. We will be expanding his next few weeks. Guys so people look out for all kinds of big announcements in the meantime. If you want to draw the line, do so. Let me know what you think of the show comments, questions, complaints. Suggestions just do so please. You can reach me laugh, track pod out. Not. Fashioned now and witter. We are on twitter so clear I hit us up there. Laugh Track TV's. Is the handle their and our facebook page as well. The Laugh Track Jerry Strauss facebook page is out there. We encourage you to like it and stay in touch with us that way as well pleased wherever you get your podcast, wherever however you are hearing this show, please subscribe. It will ease you of the responsibility of having to remember when this show comes out having downloaded. It's going to be there automatically for you. As soon as we dropped new episodes, so go ahead. It's free. There's no better park than freeze so pleased to do that and while you're out there, please consider leaving view that helps us Greenlee and tell a friend hell, too. Many people as you think like interested in this show. We have a lot of fun here. You want more and more people. Join me on Fat Fund until next time. Folks, thank you so much for checking us out. I am Jerry. Strauss stay safe out there. Stay well, and we'll see a desktop.

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Drunk Dial: 10 Things I sometimes dislike about you

Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe

28:44 min | 2 years ago

Drunk Dial: 10 Things I sometimes dislike about you

"Thank you for listening to this podcast one production available on Apple podcasts and podcast one <tone> podcast one presents off the vine drunk dial is all about dialing digits and making questionable decisions. Let's get it started. I just about started this podcast in a dog voice. I have been talking around all day and I almost started then. I realized that's probably really annoying annoying all right nick. Who's FA- lash everyone you already know I travel all the time and packing my toiletries? Somehow always involves a delicate game of stacking and space hacking dougie started on lotion in exploiting oliver my bag. That's why I love how quip electric toothbrushes work just as well at home as they do on the go the Compact and wireless designed tux easily in the corner of your carry on or your back pocket. If you're just spending the night plus the travel already cover protects your brush from sandy swimsuits and luggage slip-ups and the three months battery life will last through a season filled with weekends away. They're making it easier than ever to keep up with your wake-up and wind down routine when you're out of the office okay. I didn't realize how long two minutes was apparently because I thought I had been brushing for the right amount of time basically my entire life but definitely wasn't before quip came into the picture quip toothbrushes have the sensitive sonic vibrations for an effective clean. That's gentle on your sensitive gums because some people brush too hard and some electric toothbrushes are just too abrasive. They also have a built in two minute timer that pulses every thirty seconds to remind you when to switch sides and help you clean your whole mouth evenly. Maybe the best part about the brush heads are automatically delivered on a dentist recommended schedule every three months for just five dollars a little friendly reminder when it's time for a refresh and stay committed to your oral health because did you know seventy seventy five percent of US use old worn out bristles that are ineffective. I genuinely love my quick because I know that no matter where I travel I will always take it with me and keep up with my oral. Hygiene Quip starts at just twenty five dollars and if you go to get quip dot com slash vine right now you can get your first refill pack for free. That's your first refill pack free at G. E. T. Q. U. I._p.. Dot Com slash fine. Hello and happy Friday to each and every one of you. I am in a much much better place in my life than I was last week. When I was puking up both ends God I paint a pretty picture this Friday I'm sitting here you know glass of spayed and sparrows in hand? I was feeling extra healthy today made a huge salad for dinner and then proceeded to go on post mates and order an extra large bag of reese's pieces and then I remember having this conversation with so many people were I'm like why do people call it crissy's so many Americans call it receives P._C.'s or like reese's pieces but I challenge you to go on Youtube find a commercial and it the announcer himself the voice voice over for a racist commercial says Reese's pieces okay just wanted to get that off my chest rose. Okay what rose no red wine was gonNA say rosy red wine in hand spayed and sparrows again. I just I said it on Instagram and I've said it before but I'm GonNa say it again. Thank you so much to everybody who has bought a bottle of speed and sparrows or two or three. I know shipping can be expensive but I've explained that on another drunk dial where that's shipping for all alcohol. It's just part of the part of the deal so I kind of recommend getting three bottles or more because then it just you know then the shipping you can make sense of pain for the shipping anyways just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has supported students barrels who follow spayed throws if you don't follow at speed and sparrows on instagram. I wish I could hunt you down and just take your finger and fit the full button. It's so funny because it's like the Rama's so many followers mouth divine love egos bit. Make me so happy with the volume in my wind business. I'm like I know I'm asking a lot of gay. I know I'd like ten different. Earn accounts. I'm asking you to follow but I promise this one is about wine. It's very important and this way you can see when the new releases are coming out when it sold out when it's coming back and it's just good wine content. You know who doesn't something like that. Who doesn't like that okay so I've got some questions from the vinyls for today's drunk dial going to answer some of them? I'm going to call some of them and let's kick it it off with Kelly Whitaker. She said I I want to apologize for drunkenly giving you my chilies uniform at N._y._C. Pod and Kelly I would like to apologize for drunkenly forgetting that you gave me your Chili's uniform and I would have never remembered until you. You just said that if you could be immortal. What age would you stop aging at? I like that question. I've never been asked that before. I honestly think thirty I I mean I'm thirty four right now. But thirty three was such a a learning year a successful year peaks and valleys but thirty three was has been the year I have felt the the most self worth the most strength emotionally maybe physically too. I just felt really good at thirty three but I also hear that that just kind of continues into your forties so as of right now being thirty four. I'm going to save thirty three. I haven't been thirty four long enough to say that age but I'm going to go thirty three right now thirties man. I'm telling Ya you'll believe me when you get there. Sarah Marshall wants to first of all. What is your name Actually Sarah Marshall? Why don't you give me your phone number? I just want to call and ask you. How many people have called you forgetting Sarah Marshall? What is that your real name well? It's not like you'd make. It's not like your confessing something you just you just wanted to know what my cellphone wallpaper is and it's it's just <hes> you know it's just me on Jason's back having a little piggyback a really cute picture really cool background. It looked eh it looks nice on my phone but I will say I just did a photo shoot with Rahman and Jason with flight offer and just got the photos back and they are furry get incredible. They're so good we look awesome awesome in them if I do say so myself Robin is the cutest little freaking dog in the whole firkin world and again. I don't know what's what the photo shoots Jason We. I posted one picture from Mexico photo shoot and I said Said like look like we were so in love but I was like you know what to be honest like we were just in bad moods that day has breath smelled. I was telling him that we were in such a rush. We didn't want to be late for a family dinner. We only had like thirty minutes to shoot the wind was insane. It was like sand and places we don't WanNa talk about and I was actually just so moody that day and again. I've decided I was moody again for this last photo shoot and I realized that I think in in the life that I live. I'm obviously very grateful for everything I get to do and I can't complain. That part of my job is taking photos but I think I just am so tired of worrying about high. Look like how I look in photos and the photos are going look like and doing these photo shoots like after so long of getting your photo taken all the time it just becomes. I don't know how models do it. I could never be a model. I hate getting my photo taken. which is such a huge part of what I have to do so I've realized that I'm just not good in photo shoots and yesterday I was like Jason? We're in the backyard during a photo shoot. It's with our dog. I'm in bare feet and like these like garbage bag pants and cropped up and the guy is wearing dress shoes in the backyard. Would you really address us in the backyard for photo shoot. I'm like you gotTa Be Realistic here dredges in the backyard and then he's like you'd be nasty right now okay and then that brings me to my next question because Peyton Richie asked his Jason do anything that drives you crazy like any pet peeves and I don't want to just sit here and complain about certain the things about him because I'm really like grasping at straws to find things that really bother me about him and they're all just small things so I called him and asked what bothers me about him so that it could be even so I came up with was him and photo shoots. Boots because I've been doing photo shoots for so long he's like I'm so new to this photo shoot world like what am I doing he. He'll tell me what you doing photo shoots. He's like okay fake laugh now. Look at me. No look at me. Look over here I and I'm like are you really directed me in a photo shoot again. These are all really silly small things but another thing is that he only sings two songs okay every single day day in day out I would say at least eight or ten or twenty times a day. He will sing either. I'm dreaming of a White Christmas or fly me to the moon by Frank Sinatra now too great songs. I'll give him that but every single day for the last seven months that I've been with him it's like I'm like. Do you have any other songs that come into your head. It's in the shower. It's when he gets out of the shower. It's when he's shaving. It's when he's cooking. It's when he's working out. It's when we're watching T._V.. is going on a bed. When we're brushing our teeth? He'll just be like <hes> boom boom dreaming of a what or fly me to the moon and sometimes he doesn't know actually ninety eight percent of times. He doesn't L. Lyrics to songs and I'm like if you'RE GONNA sing the same two songs every day all day just figure out the lyrics again. I'm be nitpicky. I think also were were working out <hes> different things and how we live differently and I take a lot of pride in this house and I paid for this House and I've put a lot of work into it and he makes lists everywhere now. Now I love a good list. I Love Cross and things off the list but there's lists everywhere all over the house and it's all things that it's like a wish list that said like wow you did such a great job on this part of the House and wow it's so great that you have this house but it's listen I mean anything from the air filter changing it to tightening screws on the FRICKIN. Don't even know what it's called bannister coming up the stairs to the house and so I'm like okay okay yeah so many lists okay so here's what Jason said about me. He says his biggest pet peeve with me. Is I'm a backseat driver which I will say I am the only in my own car so when he's driving my jeep and he's like speeding or slamming on the brakes or really like revenue engine and stuff. I'm like don't do that. I I am a backseat driver with him in my jeep so I will work on that but I I'm curious to see how it is when he gets his own vehicle because right now we're sharing mine and we don't live like in a place where things are walkable so he's always needed my car and when we do dr if he does I I am a little I don't know I guess I'm a little bit controlling over my jeep but I will say i. I shouldn't be defensive. Yes I am a backseat driver. He also says me with micromanaging the House but he agreed that we we both do in our own ways and I said well you know what is my house and I am happy to share it with you but I'm trying to think of certain little things like he really doesn't like pet hair on the bed where I'm like. I don't care I want Rahman just all up in my grill at all times any hill next question. I feel like I've spent a lateral too much time on that. One Mickey Shifted Asks Most Embarrassing Childhood Childhood Memory now. I don't remember I just want to reiterate this that it's very hard to remember what I do and don't talk about on podcast when I've done two hundred podcasts so if I've told the story before I apologize but it's still just like so embarrassing to me but I will never forget when I was young Gir- and got my period and it was still new to me I was still figuring out the old period thing which I by the way of thirty four and I think I'm still figuring it out like I never have a Tampon on me. When it's time I still like certain things where I'm GonNa get it together Keelan but anyways I was young and I got out of the shower and I went upstairs and my dad called up and he goes Kate <hes>? Did you cut yourself shaving in the shower. There's just like a trail Ayla blood from the shower upstairs and I was like Oh dear God. It's my period and I just panicked and I yeah yeah cut myself and he was like okay. I ran down and quickly cleaned it up but. The Oh my Gosh I could've told my daddy had been like oh honey. Okay no problem but you know younger. One told me that but I always think that something that's so embarrassing that stands out to me. Okay <hes> Melissa of Kim ask Jason made a sly comment about you becoming a citizen in a very recent podcast. Would you become a U._S.. Citizen or do you plan to <hes> so if if we got married out obviously get a green card so I would become a U._S.. Citizen but I wouldn't want to give up my Canadian citizenship so I want to be the girl that can do both on Canadian and American. I mean I'm just got a really good thing going on right now too because I have an entertainment visas so I'm able to live here and still live in Canada. Some just a real lucky. Galliano Samantha Jen wants to know what is one thing about off the vine that surprised you when you first starting started recording the episodes and honestly it's probably just the amount of work that goes into it. It's really tough to find guests each week sometimes twice a week to make sure you guys are going to really enjoy the content to make sure you're learning something every time to feel empowered every time <hes> to not repeat myself. I find it really hard to not repeat keep myself but when I first started recording I think it's just the amount of prep and research and everything that goes into it. I think that would be the main thing for me which I'm obviously happy to do because I love podcasting so oh yeah okay the next girl I'm going to call her name's Victoria Weston and she has a question for me so let's call her up. Hello Hi Victoria Kaelin Hi hi how are you. I'm good. Are You surprised I'm calling you. <hes> kind of late yeah we're not really what are you doing and right now. I'm walking queer eye on Netflix yes. Which episode are you on? <hes> the one with Lucy the Ice Skater Oh my Gosh I love that when she is so good and so cute and Jonathan is hilarious and Allen I now I was in Philly and Jonathan have an instagram on the other day using Philly. I'm like pissed. I didn't see oh my gosh yeah. I'm I'm obsessed with him. I remember I remember watching queer eye for the first time when it first came out and I was like oh my gosh I need to stock everybody everybody on Instagram and I went and Jonathan was already following me and it was like probably the highlight of my whole career amazing yeah anyway so you have a question for me and I think it's so funny so you want to know how long I would survive Kazombo apocalypse which I don't think would be long at all because I'm just a huge freaking puss like I think I would be such a baby. I think my strategy would be that. I would just try and find all the alcohol available and just get blackout so I don't remember anything like it's that freaks me out. It's a nightmare I have and I feel like I'd be such a choice. Can you think you'd be good all this. Though what I mean I feel like I like to think I would be this bad ass who would like just take on anything and not oh care and like just kill it but I really wouldn't. I feel like I remember watching the walking dead like when it first came out and I'd have nightmares and I had to stop watching it because I was so terrified that it could possibly happen Gary sorry yet. Don't pick me if you had to pick one person to go to the apocalypse. Don't pick me okay. 'cause I suck suck at that. What about you? What would your strategy be? I don't even know I you drink all the wine with me. I would just drink all the wine with you that works that works all the line and then you you ask also if I could go on a date with any fictional character who it'd be doing like a cartoon or do you mean like someone out of a T._v.. Show or a movie anything anything. I have an answer so what who knew no you tell me I this is kind of a weird one but Michael Scott from the office. Oh you know that's why I I don't know why he's like. I kind of feel bad for him but he also Larry is. Would you like pity make out. Totally that's a good actually I love Michael Scott. That's great okay. Then I pick <hes> I pick Ross. I figured you would character. I'm. So predictable I try to do team of new favorite fronts Kirk. No Vittoria know why because he's just like such a freak whiny on oh he is. I I mean I don't I just love his like he's just so crazy that I love him. Because I kind of relate to it yeah I got you okay. WHO's your favorite character <hes>? I don't know I actually thought on this. The other day and Chandler was the winner right yeah. I probably say eighty yeah. I think T._V.'s there for me to Ross and Phoebe phoebe great okay well. Thanks for your question and thanks for answering because a lot of people don't answer when I call yeah. I feel like their block number no way no. I figured it would be but I don't know well. Go go enjoy queer eye and thank you so much for your questions and it was nice nice talking to you okay bye if I can. Here's a confession any time I do a drunk dial just fall in love with every person I call. I'm always like they're so cute and then I creep them on Instagram so so if you've ever called in for drunk down I've answered. I probably crept you and thank your adorable okay name. I'm going to finish off this drunk doll with some flight can you not I feel like can you not are always so fun to do but flight or like airport or anything like that is always so entertaining and to get Abbey. WHO's a flight attendant who has so many Kanye knots? She wants to do a segment and she spelled A. D. W. Yes okay. Let's call Abby for some for a final Kenya not segment hi abby. It's CAITLYN calling. How are you good her? You good you're on drunk dial and I'm ending the whole podcast with you because you said you're a flight attendant and have so many Kanye knots and I feel like that's always a popular segment. I mean yeah. How many do you want me to give you okay? Remember submitting that thing. I'm pretty sure I was drunk. When I submitted I frigging love you even more now? That's so funny well. I'm sure you have a list because I want to know. I tried to be like like I've tried to make sure I'm not annoying on flights or that flight attendants like me or like 'cause 'cause I just know people irritate the shit out of me the in airports all the time so I'm like I can only imagine what it's like for flight attendants but tell me like your top five like worse. Can you not can you not okay. I I would say number one like when you find out that someone becomes a flight attendant do not ask them. Just don't come out of the woodworks and be like Hey <hes>. I know you're like a flight attendant now right. Can you get me like a free or discounted slate like Oh my God oh people do do that. Literally had random people who don't even know an instagram message doing that. Oh my gosh okay well. I would never do that yet Kenyan yeah. Mike don't say you fly more than I because Ah I know like maybe you're an EP or whatever but sometimes lifeline up to five lines a day so no you don't find more than the like don't discredit what I'm doing. It's exhausting right yeah. Okay <hes> really common ones are like when we're just like walking down the eye on like Oh like. Would you cook either pretzels and everyone say yes like world. What would you want? Oh Yeah. They just say yes and they're like Oh. I feel like that would just take like so many little little ones like would just probably get on your nerves like that like those. Little ones are probably like Oh my God shut up when you have like founded. Let me just take twenty minutes to lift everything to you yeah. Oh my gosh okay more four okay and ask if we can call in hold your connecting flight. That's like the worst one like no. There's no actually number for the call for you. I've seen someone do that before and I wondered I was like Oh can they do that. Yeah no it's. I probably get that like every single day and that's not actually a thing are you. Are you in Buffalo for Michigan. Okay I heard a little accent. There and I couldn't tell which one okay that makes sense. Is that where you are right now yeah. I actually just got home. I'm based in Chicago so I just got home for the weekend. Oh Oh okay I was trying to think okay. Give me one more give me one more canyon up. Okay booking. I'll see A. and booking a window seat and being together and then like talking over the person in the middle. It's like the rudest thing in the world I feel oh I've never experienced that but I'm also the biggest flights knob and would never book a middle seat so I just can't experience that but that is rude. I wouldn't like that Roy concert of no matter. I I really do like I'd much rather work first class on work on. I was Gonna ask that I was going to ask that because is I find like sometimes first class there like a little snooty or up there so I was wondering if you'd prefer I or or <hes> coach one hundred percent I because like one it keeps you more occupied next more stuff to do a. and everyone's just nicer because they usually know how to fly yeah like they've no yeah. That's a good now. I have so many I'm like I have questions of Oh. I know I have a question for you. Do you drink the coffee on mclane yeah. It's totally fine to drink. I mean I'm not a coffee drinker but I drink the water for the tea and stuff in only find a drink air and <hes> like. I think there's one aircraft that it's like premade and I always say we don't have coffee because I think that's gross yeah yeah yeah okay and then only if I don't think it's okay to drink. I'm just going to say we don't have it. I like that that's very fair and do you eat airplane food. Yeah I do not mind airplane food at all. I love airplane food. I I don't know what it is good point. Do I agree one hundred percent agree <hes> and then my other last question is what are like your tips and tricks for always flying not getting tired and like certain things you can do to two for flying all the time because I feel like it's just really killing me. I don't fly more than you. I know I know I mean like vitamins water. I don't know I just I'm not good at it. Either like maters good though on I'm like wake Yanni nighttime person and not a morning person so it just depends. I don't know I'm with you on that worst. Where's the best place you've ever got to travel to <hes> so? I'm actually like a regional flight attendant so I don't get to go great places for work but I mean on my days off lake one day I had three days off so I went to Barcelona for three day for day and a half yeah so it'd be night. I utilize my benefits on my days off as you should. Are you allowed to tell us what airline you were for rejoin for American L. K. O. K. I. So I'm like I always fly Delta but I am flying with American on Sunday actually and I'm really nervous because I don't have first class. Ah Oh gosh I mean yeah. Just you'll be okay. Irene yeah like suck it up caitlyn. There's going to be just fine. Just try not to get a medal middle. The you'll be okay there. You Go <hes> main cabin extra the main cabin extra okay okay. I'll look into that okay well. Thank you so much for for doing the Kenya not segment and that those were really great and maybe learn yeah of course though tomorrow because it's can be coming out tomorrow and I'm going to be headed up north for my <hes> seemed to be sister-in-law's Bachelorette Party and she drove with her best friend Chicago so we could come see your show and Tocado and we're the ones that made you sign actually so I just want to give a talk to Sandra because I can't wait for her to be my sister. That's so sweet. Oh my what's her name Sondra Yeah okay well. Congratulations Sandra and you ladies have fun this weekend and sending me deep tweet me like a picture of all you ladies and all I'll give you a shout out on their okay. We will also congrats on running. We're big on people and we're really happy that you're so happy now. Thank you so much. That's so Nice Donna my my mind house out thank you are you of a good Nike. Okay you too bye bye definitely creeping her might even befriend her.

instagram Jason Sondra Yeah Sarah Marshall Kenya Rahman reese US Apple oliver G. E. T. Youtube Yanni Netflix Canada Kelly Whitaker Kanye