2 Burst results for "Shankar Vaidyanathan"

"shankar vaidyanathan" Discussed on Hidden Brain

Hidden Brain

03:35 min | 3 months ago

"shankar vaidyanathan" Discussed on Hidden Brain

"One. Na member fdic support for hidden brand comes from fundraise in twenty twenty one it. Truly diversified portfolio needs private listed. Studies have shown that folios with an allocation to private real estate generally delivered a better risk adjusted return with fundraise. This level of powerful diversification is now available to you. Fundraise provides access to diversify portfolios of private jewish state to all investors where their industry-leading easy to use platform whether you're looking to add stable. Cash flow via dividends opera for long term growth through appreciation. Fundraise makes investing in private real estate. Easy see for yourself. How one hundred thirty thousand. Investors have built a better portfolio with private estate. It takes just a few minutes to get started. Go to fundraise dot com slash hidden brain. Today that's f. u. n. d. r. i. s. e. dot com slash hidden brain fundraise dot com slash hidden brain. This is hidden brain. I'm shankar vaidyanathan. When she was a graduate student at uc berkeley kristen naff made a series of choices in her personal life. She would come to regret them for a long time. These mistakes filled her with shame and judgment and save criticism. After she became a psychologist she started to study the harsh ways. People talk to themselves. Kristen i routinely find myself saying very critical things to myself that i would never dream of saying to another human being. You studied all the ways. People beat up on themselves. What are you find on my research. Actually the vast majority of people say they're significantly more compassionate and understanding and to other people than they are to themselves especially when they make a mistake or fail. Some way is interesting. Some people manifests with harsh language with name colleen. The you know they swear themselves. They really use harsh tone. Other people like myself. It's more just sense of coldness or shame. Other people almost like they disassociate almost like by abandoning themselves. Just the way you might with sewing. You didn't like you to stop returning calls right. And so that can manifest is just a shutting down a going numb. Sometimes it's just a feeling of disappointment like out. That's that's the way it manifest much. Everyone has a self critic that comes out one way or another. You've talked about the concept of the inner critic. All of us have experienced this. What is the role that the inner critic plays in our lives well so the inner critic actually plays an important role and i like to say we shouldn't beat ourselves up for beating ourselves up because the inner commerce from the simple desire to stay safe right so what we know about the inner critic is it actually is tapping into the bodies Fight flight or freeze response and so when we were more scared of something. Gosh will make a mistake or fail at scary. We feel frightened. We feel threatened so we either fight ourselves thinking we could controlled situation and be safe or we flee and shame from the preceived judgments of others or we kind of freeze and.

shankar vaidyanathan kristen naff fdic uc Kristen colleen
"shankar vaidyanathan" Discussed on Hidden Brain

Hidden Brain

06:58 min | 5 months ago

"shankar vaidyanathan" Discussed on Hidden Brain

"Support for hidden. Brain comes from indeed. If you're trying to build a brilliant. I you need a turing test. How about if. You're trying to hire a brilliant thinker. You need indeed assessments. Indeed is a job side that makes hiring incredibly simple just attract interview and hire in fact with indeed. You can do all of your hiring in one place. Even interviewing indeed instant match provides a list of quality candidates the moment you post a sponsored job and with indeed assessments. Choose from one hundred and thirty five skill status. According to talent messed indeed delivers four times. More hires than all other job sites combined get started right now with a seventy five dollar sponsor job credit to upgrade your job post at indeed dot com slash brain. Get a seventy five dollars. Credit at indeed dot com slash brain indeed dot com slash brain offer valid through september thirtieth and conditions. Apply support for hidden. Brain comes from neum when it comes to losing weight. There's a lot of to label. Food is good or bad but that just creates unnecessary stress. Numerous yada change how we see food with a psychology based approach. That looks not just at what you eat but also how you eat. You don't need rules to lose weight just smarter. More sustainable habits choose your goals and numerous personalize a weight loss program for you with gnome. There's no need to fear ruining the whole program with one day off knows where all busy and will help you get back on track. All you need is a daily ten minute. Chicken eighty percent of neum users finished the program and more than sixty percent have stuck with their goals for at least one year start building better habits for healthier long-term results sign up for your trial at neum dot com slash brain that's n. o. m. dot com slash brain to sign up for trial This is hidden brain shankar vaidyanathan on today show. Marriage is what wins asked to tow dad. That's why marriage that lesson within the priest from that iconic scene in the princess bride describes at best. What does he. We're taking a look at how marriage has evolved over time from a partnership of necessity to a union of two very different people. Who need one another's love to be complete to the all or nothing relationships identified by psychologist eli finkel. Eli argues that our expectations for marriage. Both against trait among rich and poor have dramatically increased couples. Who are able to meet these. Higher expectations are happier than couples. Have ever been but couples who fall short are unhappier than their counterparts. A century ago says there are things we can do what he calls love hacks to reorient how we think about marriage and make ourselves more fulfilled in long term relationships. Some of your listeners might be fans of marcel proust's who argues that mystery is not about traveling to new places but about looking with new eyes and the love hacks are exactly that they're ways that we can try to experience the same relationship but view it in a different way and therefore be a little bit happier in the relationship itself so psychologists have long talked about something called the fundamental attribution error which is sometimes when we see someone behave in a way that we don't like this two ways to interpret it you can either say this person is behaving badly because there are a bad person or you can say this person's behaving badly because there's something in the context. There's something happening around him or her. That's causing him or her to behave this way. And one of the hacks that you suggest is to reinterpret negative behavioral from your partner in a way that's more sympathetic rather than critical right and i'm not saying it's magic. I'm not saying it's the easiest thing to do. But i'm saying that with some effort we can get a little better at this so your spouse is late. Your spouse is disrespectful. I mean. I- ideally not in a huge way. But your your spouse does something inconsiderate. You have a lot of control over how that behavior affects you and in particular you have control over whether you want to explain that behavior in terms of something about your spouse. That's maybe stable in and character a logical assessment like my spouses always such a jerk. You can try instead to look. My spouse was a jerk just now but he's allowed under a lot of stress at work or you can think luck. He probably tried the best he could. You know there was probably some traffic or some crisis at work. I'm just going to let it ride now. I'm not saying these are easy things to do. Because we do have a default to explain other people's behaviors as elements of their character. But the fact is and we should be better at understanding this. There are all sorts of things that contribute to why somebody engaged in one behavior over another behavior and we have some control over the extent to which we interpret. Our partners inconsiderate a rude behavior in a way. That's more generous. And kind and the kinder approach will make us happier in the relationship in our partner will probably be happier to you. Also think that having what you call a growth mindset is a useful thing. What do you mean by that. So the psychologist. Carol dwekat stanford she's developed this idea. That people differ in terms of how they think about various attributes so she studies intelligence for example and people differ in the extent to which they think. Intelligence is something that's fixed and stable and you have it or you don't verses it's malleable and it's something that you can develop over time. Well it turns out. There's a lot of good research now. On the extent to which people feel like compatibility in a relationship is something that is fixed it you could call this a destiny mindset people who think look partners or other compatible or not and that's the end of the story versus more of a growth oriented mindset. Who think look. There's a lot of room where you can develop compatibility and in fact going through difficulties in a relationship isn't a signal that oh my goodness were incompatible people. It's it's an opportunity to learn to understand each other better and strengthened the relationship through the resolution of the conflict. And here again. It's not like.

shankar vaidyanathan eli finkel marcel proust Eli Carol dwekat stanford