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Episode 983 - Steve Coogan
Hey, folks, listen up a hero's quest begins with the first simple quest and his followed by another slightly more complicated quest some might want or even need some additional information. But our hero needs only to know that it is a quest and soon, you will know his name for he is take tone, a new gorgeous. We animated weird ash show from adult swim. The quest begins January thirteenth at midnight only on adult swim or right? All right. So it's begin the complicated quest into my show. Here we go. All right weds do this. How are you? What the fuckers what the fuck buddies? What the fuck Knicks. What's happening? How are you? Marc Maron here. You back at work. How's it going? I know right, right. You get relaxed. You get sort of into a different time sense. You get into a different groove e kind of get grounded in who you are and your identity in the world. And now, you're back. You're back at work making the adjustment. Check in the mount of emails everything. All right. You're gonna you're gonna be okay today to saying in there. You know, I guess this is life. We're all pretty excited. Right. Y'all got pretty excited. And now, we're what seven days into it. And I don't know why we fool ourselves every year. Maybe maybe it's just the ritual. Maybe we actually know in our hearts that. Yeah. It might be a little better. It might be a sign post of some kind. But really just another day. And now we're week into it. And we're back we're back at it. Maybe took that time to think about what would it be like if I didn't have to work. I think about that all the time, I'm constantly working. And I don't know how to really not work because I don't know about you. But I get about a ten days away. And then it's just a existential world pool of possibilities. None of them. Good. But welcome back. Welcome back to work, folks. What's have added today? Steve Coogan is on the show. Great gas, great guy and great movies in actually standing Ali with Steve playing STAN laurel and John C Reilly playing over hardy. I loved it. I fucking love that movie. I will recommend that. I recommend that movie. I I will. I am recommending the movie standing Ali got thought talking about it before I bring him on. I certainly we'll talk about it with with Steve. But I just. Thought it was beautiful little film really well acted and just beautifully shot. And I don't know man may I maybe I'm getting soft. I don't know. I just found it very touching. Maybe as a performer as somebody in the business, marginally I found STAN and Ollie to be a tremendous movie. Look, folks, we all put off doing things we know we need to do. Right. Like, what have I been putting off I need to get some rugs? For upstairs, I need to fix the light. And the upstairs bathroom, it'd be nice. If there was something on the wall in my bedroom. I could go on. 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So I w Tf no time like the present. Right. That simply S I M P L I safe dot com slash W. T F do that. Will you do it? All right. So I had to watch a bunch of movies because an interview I'm working on some of these movies where the difficult movies in in. I am not I'm not a closed minded person. And it's interesting to to not be a closed minded person. You know, because when you're not close minded when you're open minded, you may have resistance to things. But you know, the thing is if you let things in because you're open minded, and you're curious, and you're interested, and you you reserve judgment. Until you process, it, you know, you live a fuller, emotional, intellectual is spiritual life, I believe because you take a lot of things in and you can sort of compare things and feel things different things and decide you know, who you are in relation to them. And what's what's good for you? And what's not good for you? And how do you accept other people? And you know, like, what are things that are difficult, and I just think that being open minded is a stronger position. But it is interesting that that with that comes a certain amount of insecurity in the sense that. I guess the example is like I was watching some early films by your does Latham owes. And yeah, I probably should talk about this. When I give you the interview, but it's on my mind, and it does we somewhere else where I'm watching some of his films. I'm watching an early one. And I do not understand it. I don't know what the fuck is happening. I do not I know that there is intent in it that that there was designed to it. But it's not making sense to me, and it's provocative, but it's disturbing and it's not it's not forming a story. And I mean, I'm getting frustrated, and it's taking me days to get through a movie. And you know, I'm just, but I'm opening I want to understand, and I want to I want to know what what is trying to be communicated to me, or what the effect is supposed to be an I'm over thinking it, obviously. But the the thing I noticed about myself is that if I don't understand the movie or for something is too challenging creatively. Like, if it's an art film. And I'm not getting it I rarely if ever blame the movie. I always think like what why don't I fucking get this? What is what is wrong with me? And I sometimes it's just it's just supposed to go in. Sometimes art is just supposed to go in and roll around in your brain a little bit may not make any sense whatsoever. But you never know what it's going to start in your brain. You never know what it's going to tumble trigger or or morph into were how it's going to pop back at your and how it's going to resonate or how it changes the way you see things. And you gotta let that happen is not going to hurt you, especially if you don't get it, and it's not expecting anything from you. But my point is I always think that I'm the idiot. You know, you watch a movie you're like fuck what was that? I'm a fucking idiot. And then I realized well, maybe that's what art supposed to do. Maybe you're supposed to walk way. Going like, I'm a fucking moron. And then think about it for the next few years and on and off for the next decade after that and one day, you'll be like, oh, that's just like that thing in that movie. I didn't get the movie, but now like. Now, I'm looking at life a little differently, but it took ten years. So keep an open mind. What fascinates me about close minded people, especially in reaction to what's going on? Politically is most open minded people can can weigh things and processing based on their own experience, you know, and and their own willingness to be pathetic and engage in a bigger world. So they have more foundation to to understand who they are. And who other people are who they in what the world looks like. And what is compassionate? And what isn't I believe that to be true? So ironically, you know, open minded people are in a stronger position. Because it amazes me. How easy it is with close minded people how easily manipulated they are and how easily mind fuck they are. And how easily misled they are. And they think they're right. But they are the most vulnerable mushed brain people that I can even conceive of and it's. They luck into it. Because you know, belief offers them a portal into being connected to something bigger than themselves that they don't know if it speaks to their anger their on board. No matter how wrong it is. And that's what happens that because the open minded thing. If you're open minded person, you can way things and processing somewhat to see the difference between right and wrong, and moral and immoral on a human level. Whereas if you're close minded if somebody just pops up brain open, they dump a bunch angry shitting there, you're fully on board with a whole fucking ideology. So close minded people are much more vulnerable to being mined fucked than open minded people. And and I think in that balance, you know, lies the future of fucking humanity. You're listening to this podcast. So you've already figured out smart ways to spend your time. Here's another one. The New York Times crossword app. The crossword app is a fun clever way to stay sharp people every day. There's a new puzzle and a new opportunity to challenge yourself and play. And now with the mini crossword you can squeeze in a game and just a couple of minutes. Each mini puzzle. Is stimulating quick and most important fun. Play by yourself or challenge. Your friends then post your best times to share the satisfaction that comes from solving whenever you have some downtime. Discover word play every day. It's time well spent plus if you listen to the show regularly, you've got a leg up on a lot of those crossword clues people who are my guests wind up his answers all the time. So do their movies and songs and books and other things we talk about and even me folks, just remember to spell it. M A R C, not K C. Download the New York Times crossword app at NY times dot com slash times. Crossword that's NY times dot com. Tom slash times. Crossword the wall the wall. What a ridiculous fucking. It's literally. Th this is it this is like some sort of strange last stand of particular type of ideology may win may not the wall, build the wall between you and your neighbors between you and your higher mind. But whatever the case. This is the fight of the day. And I kinda hope I, you know, like, I certainly don't want the Democrats to cave because God knows there's a lot of different things you can do at five billion dollars at a more proactive. Obviously immigration has to be reckoned with. But that's not the point the point is I hope that this guy. I hope that king baby gets his way and finds his money. I just I hope he just figures out a way that we whether we agree with it or not he gets it. And my hope for the wall is that just gets half-built, maybe not even half. Maybe third belt because I think that all Trump wants as a legacy is something built because there's a real good chance at his legacy is just going to be infamy, and contempt and shame. So I think that being the builder that he is wanting to take care of his contracting buddies. Yeah, he wants to get something up that he can put his name on the wall. That's the Trump wall that motherfucker he did it. He did it. I just hope that he gets started. And then it just it just craps out. It doesn't get done. And then like years later when? Yeah, everybody is turned on him except for the thirty five. Percent of the close-minded mind fucked minions they'll never go away. But history does not view tyrants in in a positive way. I think generally speaking except for small contingent of people, but I just hope that wall just becomes this weird monument to failure. And shame and humor. I just hope that it's a in the future the half wall. The famous half Trump wall people travel miles to see just a this wall that just stops somewhere down at the bottom of Texas, and they're explaining to their kids. Yeah. We had this madman was president. And he had this big idea. But he didn't didn't follow through with it. Well, what happened to him? Mommy. Oh, he you know, he he died in prison. Yeah. It's a hell of a story. You'll probably learn about in school. You wouldn't have if he was president. And it was successful. But you will now. So this is just this is going to be a bigger wall. Yeah, we're supposed to go all the way across the whole bottom of the United States needs just this little piece. Yup. Here hold my hand. Take a few steps, we're. Mexico now. Now, take a few steps back. We're back in the United States. It's a big silly wall heads funnies funny, man. I don't know if I'd say that this didn't get done. Now. It's just a monument to a horrible dark time in our country. Come back from Mexico. Just step back over here. So. Steve coogan. Is a very funny man and very bright, man. I've been I've always liked his work. I was glad I had a chance to talk to him. But I do wanna talk up this movie a little bit because I haven't been hearing much about it. I don't know. I imagine some people have seen it. But it's a lovely touching movie about the the sort of towards the end of the careers of laurel and hardy, and in my generation, we watched probably got to see them on TV when we were younger. I remember New Jersey. There was a station that ran laurel and hardy, my grandfather have laurel and hardy, but we certainly have a picture of laurel and hardy most of us have seen their bits before. But they're just sort of like these old timey guys who did a thing. But this movie like is very hard to do a bio pic in general because you have a point of reference, but we don't really have a point of reference other than those old black and white movies for laurel and hardy, and and they they did seem somewhat one dimensional in what Steve Coogan did. And John C Reilly was really create STAN laurel and over hardy from the inside, and these are, I guess, I'm I'm sympathetic to it. And it's such an me because this is a. A desperate time in their careers where they they wound up broke because of bad production deals. You're sort of forced to tour is a live act in Europe, and they were already past their prime and just the conversations in the reality of being on the road. And then having a partnership, and it's a real, it's it's a beautiful movie about a friendship, and and it's also a love story in a way, not a platonic love story. But but the way that they just inhabited. These men was really stunning and it was shot stunning. And and it was just a shop beautifully. And I found it to be very touching very moving. And they do they both did Oscar worthy performances. So I just highly recommend the film, and I'll talk to Steve about it in about other things because the film does open. What's now, it's playing now in New York and California, but it opens across the the world in the country on Friday January eighteenth, it's called standing Ali. And this is me talking to Steve Coogan. So wait. So that's the cottages. Humane house. No, it's just a house next to my main house just outside Brighton. I know nothing about writing is that nice. It's world Mods and the rockers had fights on the beach in the nineteen sixties ever seen footage. So it's a beach house. It was no it's kind of back from the beach. It's like a little cottage. We have lots of old old building those old buildings. Yeah. Have they re his like renovated is there. Like, yeah. I mean did is the area been as neutral fight or it's no Brighton is always Brighton used to be the place for people that go for C weekends in the nineteenth century. Oh, okay. I don't like I've no sense of England. And every time I have somebody in here from England. I seem to need a history of England as well. It's been going. The thing about American history is it's like two hundred and fifty old stuff. It's everybody knows it like back to front, and is it goes over and over and over again. Yeah. But ours is a little longer, and it gets muddier and muddier the. Are the back you go everyone. Nobody knows all of it. They just know little bits here. And right, right. And you can always be always be surprised when somebody tells you something about a king or or piece of property how I didn't know that here. Everyone's like so steeped in the in American history, if they don't know part of it they gotta like rap on the knuckles. Oh, I wish I wish people were as educated as you're you're giving them credit for it. Seems that here. The history gets a race daily. A rewritten. Yeah. Yeah. Completely. So when so you grew up where where what part I grew up in Manchester and the north. Oh, yeah. So so that's industrial. It was industrial electric. It's like a kind of a compound much Chicago. Yeah. Let's of Irish diaspora people, I'm half Irish. So like, oh, so one of your folks is full Irish my mom grew up in Ireland during the war. She was sent back that she was she born in England. But I'm mom and dad will like what I call bog Irish. Yes. Supapol irish. Yeah. And everybody left island those work facing the country was dying. Yeah. Yeah. It was only in the population. Since the famine island was going down the nineteen eighties. There's only like eight million people there now. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The whole country. It was shrinking and then it went back up. Anyway. My my mum's parents came over to England in nineteen thirties, and she was born. And then they sent it back during the war. So so, yeah, I'm on my dad's side for the back is I wish so I always. So even though I grew up in the north. Yeah. There's a bunch of Irish Catholic diaspora kind of ghettoized area of Irish Catholics right next to the Jewish area in Manchester in north Manchester. Chicago. I compare it to Chicago duster town. It was kinda grit seed little dirty, but it's kind of going beyond that night. It's like a post industrial town. I guess so like so there was a Jewish ghetto there too. Yeah. There's like a Jewish area. Oh, yes. Right next to the the Irish Catholic area. How how big it on? All right. Well, they didn't did they they lived side by side. We didn't hang out, but we didn't fight. You know? Well, how like were they orthodox Jews or just regular Judy video over? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty no regular jus. I mean, they they would assimilate moment, right? The orthodox is an enclave. So yeah. Yeah. And this and there's lots of Britain has a pretty pretty diverse history of accommodating people have different, you know. Yeah. I mean said that you know, the Irish did have their own. There was they used to be signs on doors that said no blacks, no dogs. No irish. Oh, boy up. Yes. I mean, that's they don't do that anymore. But they did once I talked to Cleese John Cleese, e you know, and I it sort of seemed like that the Irish were sort of aid took the brunt of the humor, and they were they always ostracized. Sure. They will. Yeah. And it and it was okay. I mean. Yeah. Growing up when I was growing up was always till Irish jokes. But, but but but this I mean funny enough I could because of the terrorism and the on the net the nationalist movement and right now. You know? I mean talking back in the day when the IRA was. Yeah. Yeah. I mean that was really quite then it was like you're a social pariah the people in England passing the Irish if you had you have to carry up an ID card if just if you're Irish because you might be a terrorist. Seems so crazy love his way back in the day. But it's happening now with Muslims. I mean, the same thing is happening. Sure. I mean. But now, of course, it's cool to Irish every pub claims to be Irish, I then there are not enough Irish people in the world, I didn't suggestive on the number of pubs. But but it's a weird. It's not even one hundred years ago that history where they didn't want the share. It's crazy. I know it's it's funny. I had I mean an island. I have two sides of my family on my dad's side of the family had a he his brother was wealth in and they were targeted one point by the IRA the Irish to kidnap rich people. Oh, yeah. Raise money from the kidnap from the ransom of by arms right on the other side of Ireland. Mom's side of the family's actually the people who supported their right who kidnapped being the same people that were targeting, my dad's brother, and that was two sides of my family on who had connections to different sides of it must feel felt like a set up for you saying, and that's how my parents met. Do you go back there? I mean like with all the time. Yeah. I mean pretty regularly. So I go to Ireland, and I feel like some weird connection to it. And I'm full on oschkenat's e ju and I can't understand what my connection is. But I go there, and I'm like I want to live here. So what is it? When you grow up in England from Ireland. It gives you a kind of anti establishment full of that means that you don't. I mean, for example, growing up we I felt British and yeah, you know, I supported the England football team fair. But we were always like, you know, the don't forget the British screwed the Irish big time forever ever. And so we never quite bolt the whole flag-waving we back the Royal family. Yeah. We were kind of slightly Bolshevik. We're kind of like the should take the moments of the sallow. Yeah. Well, the only thing was I think my mom and dad, say the queens. Okay, UN's, but the rest of them, they they can get it to them the the queen's like nine hundred years old. She's always been there. I it's weird. I don't know if it's reverence or just sort of amazement that that this Queen has lasted so long long, Victoria, or any of those. I mean, yeah. You kind of it's kind of like your entire life that that's been the Queen. Yeah. Of course. It's it's yeah. No, one says his old enough to remember someone saying his face to her majesty, and it's going to happen. Eventually sure sure does that. But I I would think by that time. No one will give shit. Well, you know, it's like the keeps. I mean forever. They were saying the end of the Royal family when Diana died, but you know, people love that just I've been the British Asakusa. Often depressing about the the vicious a lot swayed is of the working class wanna be told what to do and just wanna to that caps and say and say, I don't want to be I don't want to empower myself. I want that guy to be in charge. And tell me what to do that's dug into the culture. I his some aspects that goes I mean, there's a lot of. The whole union movement started in the north of England very proud of that kind of diffidence in a kind of an opposition to establish institutions. Right. But, but you know, if that was the case, then we'd have a radical government. And the fact is that we we never do we have kind of very conservative with a small Seagal movie is really the end of the day. It doesn't matter. How many people banging the table this too many people who had just kind of roll over and say, yeah. Okay. Just you know, it's weird thing though, because we don't like in this country. There's not a lot of conversation about class because they just hide it. They subvert the the whole idea that there's a lower middle or or opera class, but in it sort of established in in Britain because here it seems like people that don't have a lot the they're either angry or they think it's only a matter of time before they get. I know I know this is the this is the big difference. I think between the British and the Americans, and it's it's the fact that they're not class obsessed, and it's a double edged sword. There's good and bad and. Both. I'll tell you. What is in the UK? We don't measure success by the size of your Bank balance. Right. But that means we also have snubbed its like, we think e even if you have a lot of money. Yeah. And Ben people can look down the knows it you sure if you didn't if you're not bread if you're not from the right right or through the family meeting game. If you've got bad taste, right? Then you ought to go to handle it. Whereas in the US that doesn't matter if you made money, that's it. Yeah. You've a right you want and the also means like if you made money and your horrible person. It doesn't matter you. Yeah. Exactly. So it's fine. So there's a lack of snobbery in that. But it also means that you can have assholes that do very well. The lack of snobbery is is essentially what's killing us culturally right now because of this fucking monster it office. I mean, he's he's one of those guys that was inev- felt like he was accepted by the people that had the money and he had money. And so he is the exact example of Weiss knobs. That's his whole plan. It's like the elites, I know. I know I know I know, but I don't have to talk. We can't solve that problem. So you grew up. I imagine Catholic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I did a movie about that cold Philomina about five years ago. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I mean. Yes. So I grew up Catholic. But and I and that was my kind of way of Tolkien about the touching movie that would say, yeah, I forgot. Yes. Yeah. I mean, I have I don't just a load. There's a lot of stuff. Screw sexually the about like repressed saying, right? Well, let's see right. Hello. You're not willing to that. Now. I have a theory about that. I really think that that that in neighborhoods. I think that some mothers who saw that their sons were were heading that way, push them into the priesthood to save them from. I think you're right. And I think some of the thought, hey, you know, and I think some guys themselves like I have these thoughts. Yeah. If I become a priest. It'll all go away. I think that's yeah. Yeah. And and I have to say for all the kind of. Horror stories who've there Audrey the there are and this is what Philomene is about. There was some decent people not knowing that people in charge. The foot of the people who the base who just trying to live decent life and trying to be trying to do. Good stuff quietly serving just service to people people of simple faith. I'm not religious. I'm an atheist, but but I respect those simple. Those people symbol faith who just do. Try to do the right thing that I've found in specially the Catholic church in in in a lot of religious institutions in general, it gets to the point where they're the only ones doing it like where the government wants. You know, you're going to show up. Sure. I mean, the thing is someone. I remember article saying I read some article about hey, you know, those guys that help out at soup kitchens and stuff like that. Yeah. Then not like liberal intellectuals. Yeah. That people who actually kind of helping people by giving them soup, and that and those some people have some some ways socially conservative. Some of them might be believing anti gay marriage. Sure. So it's and that's gonna hang on a second. You like those people I'm saying that it's it's a lot of the people who might be not socially progressive quietly. Do decent stuff for for some, you know, for for people on the kind of classless basis. Don't ask, you know in the, but that's part of the benefit of of of having a sort of faith is that the idea of do of selflessness is rewarding. I mean, it's it's part of being human. You have to train yourself to do it. But there is a benefit to it for everybody. Yeah. I know it's, but it's kind of learned behavior. Not for me. I mean, I would like to it's kind of weird. I would like to just go off. And have a good time. You oughta me would just like to, you know, think John Lewis living is is closed. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I just want to go off and just have a good time. Yeah. And and I have a head in this time. Yeah. But then. It's like, you know, anything it's either. I think when you were there is a thing of this L raise Sunday as a cafeteria some of the Catholic guilt. He asks them that you feel I feel like I have to at the end of the day, you know, the crappy stuff. Yeah. Is like a line of cocaine and the the good stuff is like a nourishing meal. Right. The land cocaine might seem like a good idea the time putting through don't get nourishment from it ultimately in what you do the line of cocaine then go to feed the guys at the soup kitchen. Yeah. Or if you're like Pablo Escobar and you sell cocaine and use the money so by nourishing meal for your family, right? Right. But when but did you like where you put was the fear of God any is there a point in your life, where you're like, I'm done with this or I mean, I think it was super religiously. I mean, I go to go to. You know? I mean, I was forced to judge you gotta siblings. Do you have the I've got I've got four Br for formulas two sisters. They've all got kids. I got twenty five nephews and nieces. Wow. We kind of. But we're a mixed bag. You know, some people some people don't think it's all BS other people are I would say when say devout because it sounds like a weird thing that just that just them. They're all liberal, even the ones that are Catholic. There's a liberal and natural fights. We all we have different opinions. We're abroad church even the family we get together. And we love each other. But sometimes we drive each other nuts corn, that's like a normal. Yeah. Marginally dysfunctional family sets up like the whole world. Yeah. But, but I, you know, the it's. There is a thing. I mean, I was raised a kind of socialist might my my parents would say Jesus was a socialist. Right. You know, he hung out with the poll, and he hung out with the the the the the criminals and the process that's the progressive line. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And then this, but then you get some people what I found amazing this particular in America. Yeah. He's the people who managed to conflicts Christianity with cash. Yeah. I it staggers me. Jesus wanted us to make lots of money. I'm like, I don't remember reading. I really don't interpretation system reputation. Osdene the super church guy. Yeah. There's a lot that guy. Yeah. It's he had this empowerment, it's not Christianity as being doing Christian deeds. It's Christianity for means of personal and power. No. It's it's it's crazy. It's a racket there as well. It just says you can I just honestly think this whole fake news. And we're living in an era where you know, you could I could show I'm holding a white mug hair lovely team for me. The there are people would say you. I know you think that mugs, but you know, it's it's kind of black white. There's a I I've been doing it to bid on stage about that about false equivalences. Where like where like, you know, you have a concrete like I say like I'm sitting on a stool and the response the would be to that would be like. Yeah. But there's a lot of things out there that aren't stools. So, you know, can we really be sure exact-? I know it's it's I mean, it's it's way we have to have some parameters, otherwise we're going to talk. Ourselves into a soup. Not like the way that the truth is being dislodged. And then people's ability to actually want to pursue the truth. And it's like the trouble is, and you know, I say this because it's very on egalitarian things to say, okay. It's when was that thing because ski said about all the smart people are full of self doubt on all the on all the stupid, people are very confident. Yeah. Well, that's the area. We're living in right now. What what's the eighth one from second? Coming lack all conviction the best way, call conviction of the worst or filled with passionate intensity. I know. That's the that's the club. I was trying to make it more accessible version. But nobody grow down to smarten soup. You get a little more. That's right. Yeah. How many how? But when did when did it drop out for you? When did you realize, hey, maybe this Jesus isn't a flying, man. Oh, that's stuff went pretty early on. I mean, really. Yeah. Crazy. You never believe in hell. Well, I did for while. And then I was like, and then I'm a liberal. And then I I was I just got brothers very liberal number saying, oh, it's okay. Don't worry. Everything's a metaphor row. Yeah. Going. Okay. Okay. Okay. That's good. That makes it a little more tangible. Hang on a second. I don't even by the Mets for thing. I just think it's just it's just a load of stuff. And and, you know, hey, there's some really good people, and they don't believe in any of that stuff, and they really decent. So why do I need that stuff? Yeah. It's you know, the people who are great really good people. So my family people I love and a huge respect for who who who had hit to the religion show. Lots of good people who do and and then there are some people who don't hit some anybo- and amazing wonderful it contributes to humanity. And it seems like a lot of times people do it out of just the the community element. And it takes I think it takes a bit off their plate. As parents and stuff, of course. And I tell you what an also the the trouble is there's all these people that Alexander pope things a little a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Drink deeply not to toll. Yeah. We've got a lot of people who had a little bit of a sip think that the Einstein. Oh, no problem people. Weird. It's like confident this law. A lot of these confident people who are saying, I know this stuff because someone's I it's it makes me think you know, what in the old days. I five hundred years they didn't let on people read the bible, right? That's a terrible thing that my liberal instincts. But when I look around now, I'm thinking, I feel like maybe they had a point. So if they read it, they'll get it all wrong. Well, yeah. And that's the thing is that that kind of stuff like I believe that that if once you buy the bible, right? So once you you you sort of believe it, then your brain is open to any other kind of bullshit. That makes the problem is the thing is that this is what I think about the miserable touch on Trump without getting completely consumed. By is the I think the people who has base don't there's no point arguing with them with with intellectual discourse. Because it's like talking to someone who's really isn't saying I'm sorry. God doesn't exist because and or the creation is still talking to people who have design, right? Saying the these are the fights in his evidence. And this like that that doesn't mean I believe they believe believe, and they're and things matter what you said, they're not even talking about evolution or or Jesus. They're talking about, you know, Hillary Clinton running a pedophile ring out of a pizza parlor, you know. And then when you do present them with truth, they'll say good theory. I know I know under the problem is it's like one of my one of my barometer for whether I I when the long bell has gone from my head just met someone. Yeah. As if someone mentions a conspiracy theories, that's it. That's why I'm done. I'm done. It's just like religion. Because you can't prove it and all it has, you know, the thing about conspirists. There's as you say, you know, you know, the truth if the truth is there's all these possible theories. Yeah. What if the most likely one was the most boring? Yeah. Generally, it is likely some of the most boring one. Yeah. That means you can't stay up late over a drink pouring over the info. Of your infinite and the truth is normally bore. Yeah. And I it I think conspiracy theories to support the point with that we've sort of dragged through the conversation is that it makes stupid people feel smart. Oh, it does told you this. It's like, oh you, and they think the because you don't expect this you've drunk the Kool aid. And that drives me nuts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can't you can't engage. So when did you start like when did the comedy star happening bullet just watch TV I wasn't. I was I was I just didn't work hard in school, and I did impersonations teaches into and that that got me up that kind of got me off the hook. Because I I would have been given a lot of crap for the I could do. So teachers would say, hey, Coogan come to the front of the class and do impersonations and all the other teachers, and I go I don't wanna do that. And then they'll say, okay, we'll everyone can open the books do some work. Right. And then everyone say do it Cogan. Okay. And I'll go to the phone. I do impersonations of the teachers I take assemblies as teaches they'd say. To that. You can do the assembly this morning. And really, yeah. And I'd be like fourteen and I'd be going up to sixteen seventeen year old kids straighten the ties and telling them to smarten up, and I was like thirteen someone that because I was impersonating the teacher. Yeah. And they would laugh laugh taken, and it it it got me on a lot of trouble. And and they'll forget you access with other kids. Right. You know, the way of social I'm not soft. I wasn't. I wasn't tough wasn't a hot not. And I wasn't super smart, but I have my comedy. But I wasn't in the class clown. I like, I I was a little bit of snow, but I have my group of friends we lights all comedy, and we didn't like, and I had an older brother who's in broadband. They had some success. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The turtles. And it's this that this whole you. I'm fifty three fifty five yet. And they had they had it. They had. I had my older brother. My older brother was cool. So I wanna thank God, I know ex music and culture. I mean, you know, there's a headline in the new months, it said parents record collection deemed hilarious now that is what I. My parents had they had as my brother pointed out my parents had had snide fake versions of authentic acts. So we had like an actor not gonna go marry Hopkins handed like a lightweight Joni Mitchell. Sure. And then we had the seekers that will like a a lightweight pizza poll, Mary and everything was like the the kind of faked lowbrow low grade, he's just were riding the coattails. And they this is the end that was the stuff. My parents bought like. Like the cheesy listening to. Yeah. Yeah. And so how old is your brother five years old? So she would tell me this is cooled. These are the cool bones, and these this is the cool stuff on TV, not the main channel this stuff. And the, you know, I'm he he actually he'd say gotten by this record. There's a single coming out next week. It's call Hong Kong garden by Susan the band. She's going by it because people are going to be talking about it. And I go, okay. Yeah. And that's how I learned about stuff that was off the grid slightly left field. And it's weird because I'm the same age as you. But in Britain, there was still a big singles market like there was like sure go by forty fives. Yeah. Yeah. And there were tons of them. I remember being there at that time. He well. Let's really after highschool right, right? What a record stores one hundred and and that a music and kind of a that was a way of escaping from. I'm making Smart Choice. I mean, I mean that was a little I didn't I was figuring out as a little up my own ass. I remember like refusing to go and see Greece H thirteen because I told my friends it was too commercial. The older brother. Told me this would us. Yeah. Yeah. I I it's it's so fun his Banda punk band. They were kind of punk new wave. It was all I'm my dad's screaming at my my brother because he had orange half airing saying what's wrong with you? You look like go in like like society was breaking down in the home because his eighteen year old son was looking on drudge Innis. So that was like so that that period was in in the movie that twenty four hour party. Yeah. Yeah. That would that have been the time. But yeah. Well, he was earlier earlier right wave it kind of span to here is twenty four hour party people like the end of the nineteen eighties. The end of the nineteen seventies joy division in the post new way the advantages Susan about as part of that period. There were new new wave punk rock after seventy seven seventy eight nine these these bands that kind of a refined punk wasn't new. Right. Right. And then then the those it became a traffic and. House kind of cool on drudge in his bands. And then then there's a follow period. And then this those period of the happy Mondays and stone roses where guitar bound Salou came back came back, and and that the movie period, but I I grew up in mentioned too. So I the guy played in the movie Tony Wilson who who discovered those bands? Yes, what TV present? I I I knew him. And I present the TV show with him before. I played him in a movie. Oh, really? Yeah. Like it's out of. Yeah. So he was like he was a local local TV presenter and his other job was he he was on the so people knew him if it was kind of like tone. Tony was a little unwanted because the people who are really cool. Yeah. He was a bit of a sure of Murray, the k or whatever from that whoever that guy was from the in the old days like these deejays, they're like deejays. Yeah. They're not cool, but they're opening the door. Exactly. So that they wanted to be the oldest guy at the politics. Yeah. Yeah. But also he was but if you will. Watching the t if you saw him as a TV presenter, he seemed like a youthful edgy TV presenter, a little long sometimes in a tie. But like when in the seventies. So because of the older brother, you were you were because like in the states, we didn't get that shit till years later. No. But you were there. So you had a brother that was on top of it. So you you got experienced the Sex Pistols in real time and all those bands. Yeah. I remember I remember I bought a I went Hobbs with my buddy on never mind, the bollocks has the Sex Pistols, and we hit it in a Peri komo's sleep because it had the word bollocks which in England was my father would consider that a rude word, and he was pretty traditional. And so I couldn't have that album cover around put it more. They're now, Harry, Harry coamo. And I my buddy would come borrow it. And who takes his house in Perry. Komo's Lee and it was a good record. Yeah. Yeah. It was great. Yeah. Yeah. So when now what were some of the sea because I don't know I'm not well versed in British comedy. Of talking to people about so. Well, a lotta sitcoms I used to watch and use of Monty python under there was a cool edgy thing. But a lot of comedy in those days before VCR's it was on vinyl, right? So you listen to comedy. Yeah. Even older comedy. Let some American comedy a lot of American comedy was ahead of British coming, of course, hot. And and Mel Brooks and stuff like that. And that stuff was on parents have that. Yeah, they had that. So that was kinda cool, but of the mmg had that and he had like some Peter Sellars stuff. He was an think goons Peterson. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that was in England that was that was the goons Capri money python. Yeah. Right. But so you were growing up with that. So it wasn't a huge standup scene in Britain yellow is not as you say, it was kind of very old regressive. Billy Connolly was this Billy I've interviewed him yet here. So he was part of a strain of folk con- almost con- comic story counts. Storytellers they used to come on with the guitar. Yeah. Sing a song and in between the songs, they talk, and and the talk bigger and bigger and songs got less and less until eventually they put the guitar. Just talk. And that's that's what Billy Connolly came out. And he was Billy Connolly was kind of someone who thought, hey, you don't have to tell cheesy gags you can you can real people in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Storytelling. Yeah. And that kind of comedy and so he figures like him. We're like they want these Oxford's intellectuals and neither was he likes some blue collar. Joe, right? He was right in the sweet spot between. That's what Billy Connolly was. Because he he managed to be smart, and yet from kind of working background, and and I think that his style kind of defined a lot of what was going on in the UK and in Ireland because like I went to Edinburgh, you know, like two thousand six and it seems like still that the format for even young comics like they're going gonna put together an hour. They're going to title it. And it's going to be long form is not going to be like necessarily punchline efficient Thomas, but Tommy Tiernan derail. Tommy ten. Yeah. He's he inherited that I saw Tommy tin, and I wish comedian twenty years ago, and I was already like getting some traction on TV in the UK doing my thing. And I saw Tommy to them was blown away by the simpler, poorest simplicity of what you did. And then you saw I saw you did something with that guy. What's his name? Johnny Vegas is that. Yeah. I produced my company produces TV series. He did. Because I remember him when he was a stand up. Yeah. But he's a new generation. Yeah. Yeah. He came to me. I was like I mean, I I was there was kind of a there was there was like there's like after the pie before the pythons that was like this. Well, there was the goons pita Saleh's. You'd know. There's Dudley Moore. Peter book would be on the fringe. Then after that was the Roman Atkinson and the the those guys. He's interesting talent, isn't he? Yeah. Very quiet, quite sort of an agnostic. Yeah. Yeah. Almost the old school like clowning in most. So, but we did you study like when you did you study theater and shit. I just went on to act in the whole in the Stanislavsky thing. But you did it brought the pants off me. I was thinking why are we doing yoga? Doing why am I none of sunk in because you have become a better actor? I think well, that's what I did was. I just I was doing stuff outside moonlighting doing, you know, doing voiceover ads. I got more traction from doing ads for local radio stations than avid doing any kind of Shakespeare or checkoff in dramas do that stuff. I did that stuff. Yeah. But I was like, and I thought I was getting good at it. Not really, no, no. I was why he wanted to get. I just wanted to. I wanted thing is I knew you supposed to be trying to. I mean, I I was quite low brow. I wanted everything right now. And I want to have to try the boards for you have no money. So and I got some traction. I will go into TV show. Oh, doing comedy. I was twenty two years old. And I was on this TV talent show in London. But it was pretty cheesy. And I knew it was cheesy. But I thought hell it's a gig. And I got my foot in the door. Maybe I can get my foot in the door. Then I can get smart. Did you do? I did impersonations did impersonation of oh attended people. You know? I do like, Michael. I can do you know? I do I'll do buck. Okay. But the quite a I know how to do those dodge speak. It's that sort of crusty voice. I knew how to do people like John Johnny too, right? A lot of people a lot of people claim to be a lot of people platelet do show because they go it's shelving policy, and I'm gonna I'm Sean Connery, and they don't get the depth much a lot of the secrets gonna and if you get there there's no point doing it at all. So you do the Roger moult this accident like this by people like that? And and I do that with evil like I do so Vesta Stallone Shakespearean soliloquy. Okay. The question was noble in the mine. So this league the narrow ridges for June or the take a Sidewinder helicopter with. I do stuff like that. And I just I was I was twenty two twenty. I'd just throw all this this stuff. You had a framework like that classic sort of impression is framework where? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I put him in a situation. Yeah. You'd switch it up. So I'd have like on spots. And I got as a social worker, you know. Yeah. I didn't Martin sheen do with Martin sheen drinking. He has I normally do show some food for the top of my mouth I got broken biscuits. But he's out about the president of the United States and ready to get angry. I gets real worse voiced squeak like that show. I Mark, gene. So great dropping that shit. Yeah. I can just do that stuff and tell you what what what was good about. It was because that's like SO Tarik Martin sheen impression is it him is like it's like. If you. I know, but you just gonna go. Hey, we're not gonna do that guy. I wonder we're gonna do him. It was what what's good about. It is that if you're trying to get on in this business, you know, everyone. I mean, everyone is you're starting out in the business. You're trying to grab hold some coat saying look at me give me a break. Yeah. When you do funny voice like that, you might not show that profound profound some some some sort of profound insights, very quickly people go that's pretty impressive about thirty seconds someone and they might not think, but they go. Okay. Well, he can do that. Yeah. Right. Something we we we're so so then you've got their attention. Then you could say I wanna see my other stuff, you know, quite funny. But as the rest of the realm. That was the first ten minutes going to talk about this. Yeah. Yeah. How did you what? And then I just started working doing stage work crime. I do I do still doing clubs and nightclubs in Manchester before this like what they call the alternative comedy circuit. When when comedy has already been established good stagecraft comedy stand up comedy been well established in the US, and it would kind of reborn in the UK and the nine thousand nine hundred and but in Manchester, when I was there was there was no room for it was just kind of working class working class was kind of gagged basing, lazy and crummy. I had to support. Indie bands. You have to do my comedy show, but club with some band on stage. Yeah. And they'd say, okay before the band, this guy wants to do some funny voices of men, and I'd go on I I just ram down the throat and and in normally within a thirty seconds. Somebody will wait wait a second. He's good. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And then I I'd have them. And I do like fifty minutes of that stuff. That's how you started. Yeah. And that's how I felt it it's so it's a baptism of fire. So there was no PC kind of. And I go down. To London this somebody that with these kind of vegan venues where people are gonna be given a very easy time by the audience because they want aggressive thrice apprise. Well, that's what you get. If you like I started in New England doing like pubs and shit like that. And you get this edged where you're like, what does I there was a show that was there was one venue in London tunnel club. And that was about some she could survive that you had respect and you go on stage, and they would throw glasses at you. I mean, they plastic ones anyway. And I got a chat thrown at me within thirty seconds. I got chat thrown at me as and I started doing like really stupid like kids TV show voices. Yeah. But then screaming, but doing them. I just did kids cartoon character saying obscene things on that's Adam Jewell thing. Yeah. Yeah. That was pretty how can I put it accessible to even dumb people, and they would go, wait. This is funny. Yeah. And I managed to segue into stuff that was a little smarter. Yeah. And I did like twenty minutes, and and and I can't say, and they were chanting on. They said you wanna go back. Undoing on coast. Welcome. He ever beat them. I'm never coming risk. It. Goodbye. Don't ever got the second chance. Oh, no. No. Well, that's that's how you got the. That's how you get. And I just I ended up writing co who was around when you were when you did you do circuit there. Did you do the comedy store? Instead, I did the comedy still on a lot for while. There's a lot people Eddie is odd. Contemporaries, Eddie was you know, he was he was being worthy dress. Yeah. Before and I'm Eddie starting out. I mean, I remember thinking God. He's terrible. Yeah. I remember thinking, I honestly, I was thinking I was thinking at one point going to saying you're really nice guy, but you really should quit comedy. It's really not your thing. And he's a testament to ten nations hard world, people can get funny. I as as a standup unit you start with guys you're never gonna turn for this guy. But but some dudes like, I think you're you because of the the impressions like some guys are going to go after the comedy, you're gonna go after the funny. No matter what are those dudes? That are just they can't change there. There's no, no. And you just look at them. And when they're starting outgoing like us can be slog, you're not gonna make it. But then all of a sudden it. Clicks, this innate faith of this inability to do it differently. Eventually if they're persistent, and they sticks. Yeah. Well, it's like the March into a different drum. Yeah. Exactly crowd. You thinking how long can I not do what everyone else is doing the she throats and things I've asked to join the crowd. Yeah. What they do because I know works some people don't have that. They can't wait. Yeah. It's but I'm with is when I was doing comedy. I was thinking I was doing this impersonations and stuff. I was like this is so boring. I I was I I didn't other people like what I did. But I didn't lie. What it did? Yeah. And I so I figure that I'll just I'll just I'll others I know a bit of actions. I'll do stand up comedy characters rather than just stand on. I'll do a carrot so in front of the microphone and do not. And it got some traction with that character of your own credit a bunch of different characters. You know, I did a woman and her brother, and there was one man show thing. Yeah. Dude edinburgh. I adamantly won the fringe order Edinburgh and twenty six years ago, and that kind of I'd I'd already done this cheesy TV shows. But when they won that that gave me some credibility. Oh, he's not just some cheesy like flash in the pan guy. Yeah. He can do stuff that smart and funny. And then also not an impression that was. I didn't do any impressions in that show to deliberately set to see if I could go on the weird thing because TV people like, oh, he's the other funny voice guy. Yeah. No, I can do other stuff. Like, yeah. Yeah. Everyone can do all the stuff whatever. So. So I did the show in an and my did all these characters, and it was good is that where is that where Alan Partridge came from that just before I start doing him on radio with a guy called Patrick Mahba? Emma screen playwrights, and he'd go closer and notes on a scandal. UC's not successful screenwriter. But he was the time trying comedy, but she wasn't great at if you did a sort of team thing teasing, and I joined him in Guikalov onto a new chief who'd done some movies like the death of Stalin's. I just saw the death of style. And he did that other one in the loop. I was something to do with veep to. Yeah. He he he he wrote ATV. So the Amanda was the guy I met and started doing radio comedy with Alan Partridge came from working. Isn't it radio's grade, isn't it? Well radio for public. What you have public on the BBC radio. Right. They the good thing about BBC was and that one of the great names rather BBC's because it was publicly funded through it through a Levy. It's not no one. He's like you. If you if you this is so weird about it. It sounds like communist if you own a TV you have to pay the licence fee. And and and you have no choice of the bit back in the day someone who wants to go I like that guy. I'm going to give him a TV series. And they're on there's no market research. There's no like audience testing or same how this is measured. It would just be one guy the of his parents go I like that guy happened with python. That's right. Yeah. And there's, you know, the sometimes people make mistakes, but really odd misshapen genius stuff finds its way through because in a way that wouldn't if you just relied on on market, research and development process or sort of like a room full of executives going. Well. Yeah. This thing this thing. A camel is is is a horse designed by committee, right? Just because it was state run. You you you you didn't have to deal with that process. No, no, just go. Okay. Gives us guys. You know, this guy seems to know what he's doing and the kind of didn't really have much and that guy to the note he's doing like give it a try and work. It doesn't work. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, it's not my money. It's like the government's money if so. Yeah. So so that meant you could do stuff that was just different is that why some things only because I've noticed an I respected a great deal. But I don't think it's necessarily intentional that some of the greatest British sitcoms are only like three seasons twos. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Fawlty towers is there was two seasons of that. I mean, the office to was only what was three it was three seasons on a couple of specials. That's right. That's right. So the radio plays. So that was the first time he started writing scripted bits. Yeah. We did not team rights. You didn't right? So people get burnt out more quickly. And there's things are written by two people mostly relate to people. They they go. I'm done. I'm done. I just did like I whereas ninety. Yeah. So I've done everything here. You have more of a. Americans have always been good at getting an idea. I'm going. How can we make this generate as much capitalist possible right for the Brits? I've never been great at that. They have a good idea. If a lot of good ideas, we have and then the Americans go, okay, we can now we can mass produce this. We'll take it. We'll buy gonna make a make it. So everyone can have it. Right. Yeah. But that's I don't know who do they pay for those things. I mean, how does that work? Have you sold some a TV know we try to have it production company. We make some shows that we we we have show. Let's go camping. Lena Dunham is doing American version was yours. Yeah. So that was sold the regular way. Yeah. Yeah. And when you're saying that when you do the BBC thing, you're gonna get experienced writing acting producing we would go we would go along. I'm gonna call the show for the BBC. We'd go have lunch maybe having lunch, and we go we have an idea at lunch. Yeah. And then that afternoon we go into coda, and it would be broadcast at the end of the week. Yeah. I mean, there was a faster around and stuff. And so that and. But I was so saying I want to write and I wanna I wanna do most serious. Yes. Well, and and so how did Allen how many versions of the Partridge show? Did you do we did light one two three TV Susan the UK with one talk show then to sit com to two sitcoms? Then we went and did some stuff on radio is the sky sky. That's Murdoch thing. It is. Yeah. And we did sues for that. And then now back on the BBC, really. So we're back in. We just finished TV series starts next February another Alan Partridge poetry series. But this one is like a magazine type show. So it's like a like a like a sort of a a morning thing with a female, a male co and you've aged him. He's a little he's he's oldest. He would be. He's always been about ten years older than me. Yeah. Which is what tau pretty well. Yeah. But as I'm getting old I'm making I'm catching up with him slowing his age down. So he's about seven years older than me. Now. But but yeah, we got a new it's a great. I'm really excited about the show. It's it's you know, it's thing why Allen tackles serious topics the whole metoo thing as a whole that beset about that. Because we were saying it's not that such a difficult thing to talk about anyone say anything about. But if you're doing character, right? It's weirdly gives you this licensed to you can get things wrong in a big way. And it's fine. Because if it's him doing it and also you're not saying, you're not you're not sanctioning or agreeing. What he's saying? You're saying this guy makes it gets things wrong. So you have license to do. And this is the crucial thing because you've gotta come at character. He can say stuff that you go that is so off message. But sometimes he can say stuff that's true that you don't the icon say then clothes exact so the rule complaint. Something out the fool component something out that everyone knows to be true too. Good. Point because like my when you're telling me this. My first reaction is that we there's no dialogue around that stuff. So because you know, men in general sort of I'm not going to of course. So so when you can just do a character that is already an asshole, an insensitive, you you can talk you can tell and you can and you can kind of have your cake and eat it because you can say what we do is. We have him trying to jump on the bandwagon and say, you know, hey, you know, I mean, he says, I'm I'm. I want to apologize. I made mistakes I've stood on the side of the sidewalk and tried to slow hand claps while I watch women try to parallel park, you know. And I feel bad about that on now if if I saw women doing it now, I would I wouldn't shout instructions. Right. Like, see? I'm even I'm afraid to laugh on them. That's how terrified. Yeah. But but the point is it's him. And we have like we have just, you know, have feminists on the show put in that point of view, and we have actors playing both sides exaggerated way, you're actually servicing the side of the dialogue. That does not is not enabled. Yes. Exactly an- and doing a kind of it's weird because it's a safe environment. You're not saying that he's right, right. And not saying he's all you endorse it and sometimes enables you to to to to sometimes. To to. How can you sprinkl little humanity right on arguments to become very atrocious? Yeah. Rats. That's what it does. And even now, he's I'm choosing my words, very carefully. I am which is because you have to go, and it is like there's nothing unreasonable about the intent of of what's happening, right. No. I'll say this about the co when when you do when you send when you writing company I feel like I'm very ethical in Iraq coming is. I don't mean. I I I'm I'm sanctimonious. Yeah. But but what do you do when you're right, right. Coming to us. If you feel okay, I don't like I don't like to use comedy to attack people who don't have any power, right? Some people some people do that. And I like it. It's like, hey, why don't you shut down punch down punch up, of course. And a lot of people don't get that. But to me, it's like you had to do this kind of ethical responsibility. And are you laughing at? A prejudice or you or is the prejudice while you're laughing. And now, I don't sit there mocking myself. But intuitively, that's what I wanna do. You also have the parameters of the character. So when because when you start doing character work, and you're making these characters up your infusing them with the humanity. So once you under you understand certainly Alan Partridge, you know, bottom you understand the depth of that guy. So you can also sort of temperate with that like is this gratuitous is this something he wouldn't say is it within the realms of the humanity the character because that's what's going to ground it in the humanity. Yeah. You can't. He can't be amongst can't if you someone who's just obnoxious than you know, and he's some ignorant and an unprejudiced he tr-, but the one thing he tries to do the right thing. I early on. We made him a little too of unreconstructed and a little to predict. Actively conservative that looked like shooting fish caricature cockatiel was now we do with someone who's like who realizes that that he's got to get on message as it were. And someone is struggling to to to to do the thing. He's supposed to not unlike a lot of men his age. Yeah. Like well. Sometimes I mean, like in at some I remember, you know, my father, my late father trying trying to be, you know, it's like my mom saying, you know, the older generation again into grips with being enlightened about gay relationships. He's well. Yeah. And and skins let's say from him and my mum can say. And does he have a friend? You know? Why? But that's what like before Trump came in. You know, when I talk about the nature of tolerance is what it is what it is in order for democracy to work or do you have a social fabric? That's an progressive people have to engage tolerance. And that means like it starts off with with guys going like oh fuck that gays. Fuck this shit. But as it becomes culturally infused and fought for their like, well, it's not for me. But it's just fine as move. It's it's moving right and move right movie. And for some people, you know, people are hoping to that. And I kind of like if it's all to do the intense. I remember, my, you know, it's not it's what's your intention is your intention to be mean spirited, there's intention to try and do the right thing. And that really the measure of what you know is it sincere or is it what's the motivation behind? And also that just that conversation are weighing that stuff out it gives the character's death, which is like when I watched. Standing Ali that, you know, having seen you do not a lot of stuff. I didn't grow up watching you do impressions or or without how impartial. But but just seeing that movie and having experiencing Philomina the trip the tropic thunder twenty four hour party people like seeing a lot of films that you're in was that, you know, I grew up my grandfather your age so in New Jersey, the laurel and hardy stuff was on. So it's part of my childhood knowing that those those guys, but these are two guys that not a lot of people know anymore, and you're and, but if you do know them, they're they're just these broad clown characters, and the fact that you were able both the you to give them such humanity in depth at that stage in their career and behind the scenes was kind of mind blowing to me that like like knowing now how adept at you are at impressions, you still had to fill this guy out on the level of having heart. And and and also exploring that relationship. Yeah. Well, I mean taking this job on a personal. You're right about anyone under forty like who the hell of those guys. And then you show them a photograph all the fat guy the guy that where those Bola hats. Yeah. Those kind of the image. I it doesn't matter by the way to see the film, doesn't did you don't need to know who they are. It's really I mean, I wanted to do this because a growing up they were very important to me. But really beyond that what they did to me. It's a bunch of things, but I try to sum it up at is a love letter to comedy. I think that's true occupancy that that away of celebrating those because I've I've had spent a few years in comedy, and as well as writing moving into dramatic stuff, and there's a sweet spot where comedy to me as an end in itself is is a great thing that yeah, I do. But it's it's it's it's it's a Philomina I- comedies more useful as a way to sugar the pill. Yeah. Of difficult subject matter. Yeah. You know, if you make people laugh. The not scheduled feel like going into a lecture. Yeah. Hey, you can laugh at this stuff. You can laugh a bad stuff yet. And you could let about it. And hey learning can be fun right here. But I'm but with withstanding all it was it was a way of saying. You know, we see I was thinking about going back and doing the research on the movie that Geoffrey Geoffrey wrote from the media with me he wrote down the only by himself. Well, what was it? What what compelled him? He would just I don't I don't know. Actually, I do know that he thought that he knew that they'd done tours of Europe in foul. Readies wonder why why the hell away today toying twenty years after the heyday doing live gigs in in Europe? And then start to do some digging. They were broke why would they broke because how wrote stiffen on the deal, and so says a little more about them. And then the from that came this idea of looking at the relationship between two men who don't into the whole lives yet people coming onto the professional life wives, have come and gone. But then they have is each other. And it's about. Learning. It's a becomes a metaphor for living with each other. Yeah. Of understanding the person is in the same spaces you. Yeah. And also like the in terms of the love letter to comedy, what was sort of amazing about it. No matter how begrudgingly they were doing these tours or what how they were getting screwed and even with their popularity dissipating if at all being an established acting is once they took the stage and did those bits and they worked every fucking time. No matter how many people were there, and has a comic you see that those questions are answered it's like, you see guys who were older than you. And I who have been doing the same Akron twenty years, but they get out there, and they do it. And they're in it. And then whatever happens off stage is what happens off stage. But that professionalism exact thing is we we all know about the other is the clown and the kind of, you know, the, you know, the darkness behind this humor. But nobody looks at it looks. So the humanity of something which I think is the old cliche but left to be in the best medicine. You know, it's it's it's never been more. Parents me how important this is. Now, I remember I did a live stuff on stage tours do big big audience before I got into to doing the movies and it used to I look to the audience. And this is something I think I helped me identify with with the STAN laurel who who wrote the comedy was that when you the something incredibly powerful that we underestimated we look at coming to you it makes you laugh. It's it must be low brow. It's right. It's it's it makes visceral reaction is one of the few things thought from some stuff such as emotionally can make you cry. But, but that's kind of can be a silent thing unless you bawling your eyes out. But yeah, when when you find something funny, we all make this noise. It's unambiguous there's no gray area. If it if you didn't make that noise. You didn't find it funny? If you didn't laugh you'd something does. No, it's it's unambiguous. Now, if you have a big crowd of people, and they all laugh at the same time, there's a lack of. Bullshit in. Yeah. They're laughing. That means I found it funny. That's indisputable right now, you've got a group of people in that crowd. And I might buy two thousand people in a venue. It might be millions of people watching it on the screen. They can be have the most diverse political views. The most diverse ethnicity religion, right? But they all laugh in that moment that all unified in that, however, fleeting is when they'll laugh at the same time. That's when you think about it that way is in that in that regard is mind blowing. Oh, sure that you that you can make all these people who might otherwise be each other throats. Yeah. Be incomplete union in a moment. That's what the greatest comedy does. And here it was kind of like. That the respect for that. Yeah. And and the the STAN the long haughty when you look at some of the movies. Some of the best stuff is timeless and quite nuance. Because some it works as in child light, y you know, in a break foles on all of hobbies hadn't he takes his bowl of scratches rubs his head. And then another one lens they said in an another one. I mean, it's kind of like it. It's never goes interrupt. If I stay. That's right. Yeah. And but but you see the expressions is humanity to it and kind of love of humanity that comedy, they do is never vicious mean or or or or cynical via. And I was looking back at the movies it occurs. I thought shit this. They were making this stuff. Well, fascism was on the rise in Europe. Yeah. The great depression was sweeping this country. Yeah. And yet they were doing the stuff that just made people laugh. Yeah. And I thought well, that's that's pretty powerful. Understanding the context. Yeah. Yeah. And so in making this movie we just wanted to. I think in some ways tell a story about about something that's important. And and people who have the ability to make people laugh and unify people at that that's important and is worth saluting. And also, I be in a love story to comedy. It's also a story about a relationship between two guys who, you know, who despite you know, whatever their emotional liabilities were or whatever they were unable to communicate had had this depth of feeling for each other that the, and that was sort of fascinated, you know, you see it. Well, you do see it. And you know, when you see some of those political I so documentary on John McCain today about him and Lindsey Graham. Yeah. And showed his friendship with Joe Biden. He has an and when you see people who don't agree with each other, but have love and respect for each other. That's that's that's why the that's why the the hope of humanity. Is in people who the see beyond, you know, the ideology ideology and the differences and find a way through. Yeah. However imperfect that that way through is there's never going to be a gold at the end of the rainbow. Right. But the Zo there's a kind of a way through by people accommodating those. I mean, you know, that you can do that to an extent. I mean, if someone says I want to kill or or wipeout a whole race of people. That's pretty there's no kind of there's no compromise on that. So that's that's when you know, the chips are down you have to you have to just stand up against that throat. But beyond that people, you know, there are people who disagree fundamentally, but are equally noble and also like, maybe there's that sort of thing with with people where the you may not know why you may not understand it. But emotionally, they're connected show. Whether it's no bore not. Yeah. They. They get along on a level. That's not necessarily explainable. No. And do you know what however much they because the the normal the normal narrative along that trying to get some scam. The trying to struggle that kind of blue collar will because they're kind of a little paw in the. Yeah. But they're trying to get get on it and Stein little screws. It up all of a haughty. But and however mad all of a haughty gets at the end of it. He still goes come on. You know, it's it's like if you combat his buddy, but he never abandons his. It is a surrender to. Yeah. Another thing. The movie shows if you don't remember it, or is that they despite the fact that they were how Roach players they may not have known each other before and that outfit. You know, the bowler hats were something that was established by chaplain or whatever was that. They are totally unique in their presentation and in their act, there's nobody like them. No, the the no. And they they were put together they were like the kind of the monkeys of. Right. Hop world. Like, we were talking about before your parents records that there was a lot going on culturally that was popular in comedy. And they were and how road wanted to the Manco you said some great songs couple. Yeah. Yeah. So you know, we they discovered these characters they created these currencies interest in the Chaplin and STAN laurel came over from England on the boat together. And and STAN laurel was Charlie Chaplin's understudy. In fact, you can see photographs of Stilo wearing the Charlie Chaplin clo-. Really? Yeah. Yeah. With the mustache in the Bolton on the stick the walking stay at United Artists or like before before that when to doing this stuff live, okay for like, so, but it's a Stilo all the holiday, you know, did that stuff together? Download all the what behind the scenes, so when you talked to Dick Van Dyke, you know, Dick Van Dyke. Okay. Yeah. Go ahead. This this is okay. You tell you know, he just tells a story about when he got that Hollywood. And how much you love. Laurel? And then he just looked him up in the fence. Right. And he called him. I have relationship with. No, that's what would be the. Well. I was going to go on and say is the the research that I did on STAN laurel was because he was in the phone book Dick Van Dyke famous called him. But a bunch of other people just phoned up stand on recorded the conversations down the phone, really. Yeah. On tape recorders. And so there was a bunch of recordings of sound phone that I listen to Donald just talking about long. He would talk to anyone who rang up. He would give them the I think if he says to Van Dyke, I think he said does your mother know you calling. Yeah. It's coal. And you know, it's going to be custom all the money. Yeah. So so this was in the late. Fifties. Sixties stand died in sixty five. Yeah. And but those those those phone calls a real I opened to not only the rhythms of his speech. But how you used to think? Yeah. He was like content. Chris about some things like he was. You know, jackass, and you haven being kind of quite rude about some people. Yeah. Which is nice to hear some because he's the hapless kind of idiot. This this the power generate yourself. He said when what was interesting he said when talkies came in before that long haughty made the transition very, well, he said when talkies came in and said people were talking nine to the dozen. They would just wouldn't shut up on movies because they could talk suddenly they said, but we me and all they just kept it to minimum. We stuck to what we knew worked. So he the kept the physical stuff they put a few woods in here. And that they didn't go crazy just because they could speak which a lot of moves at that time. Did when yadda yadda yadda, yadda, all the way through. Yeah. They didn't do that. They so that was interesting. That's the smart way to adapt. Yeah. And also the baby out with the bathwater. Right. So for you like since you have this you net natural ability to sort of become you know, to to take on an impression. So these phone calls in and and and the research, you did we're able to inform this. Impression into full charac. Yeah. Look when when people say, what's it like when you play a real carrots, if a blank page is more difficult, at least you've got someone who lived a life, and they've done a bunch of they've done the research for you. Stan laurel as left behind a footprint in the movies? He did and some of these conversations in a few books. His says the stuff that. Yeah. And also the thing was is that like, you know, bio-pics can go either way depending on how familiar people are with with who it's about like if that person still alive or it's relatively contemporary. You're up against this sort of like, well, he doesn't quite work like them behind God him, but these guys are far enough in the past and the makeup and the attention to detail was so what it was. But I feel as a bio pic the depth of it is much different than anything. I've ever seen before. Because it doesn't really it's got to work. You have to it has to work. Yeah. If you don't know who they are you just need to you need to look at it and say, this is about a relationship. It's two guys funny and show them being funny. If you show them being funny on stage, and then you see. Okay. This is what goes behind people who do that funny stuff. And and you just see the like any kind of relationship you see the tensions you see the arguments. The the the the the the kind of the baggage that people carry around a relationships, and they let it fester, and then somebody bursts up, and then and then you either resolve it or you don't. Yeah. And the the sort of the the sort of onstage purser now personas your and the backstage offstage realities was done. So well, so how how did you in in John work it out? We will first of all you towards me doing impersonations the way. I did it John was a little different for me. But the the way I was I thought well, I know how he talks so to speak Stipe. This has kinda strange way talking. It's like mid Atlantic. It's it's it's kind of a little bit British. But it's also slightly American can't quite place it in Vienna. And and has sort of throws his apps up and has these strange. Specials weighed quite show what he's seem to about four or five expressions in the pace space of thirty seconds each one of the completely different thought process. Yeah. And you see it in his face. So you have it's almost like because you have this phys- stuff on screen, and then there's some conversations it's like, well, I know the the outside sort of superficialities of his of his car, the physicals, and you can use that as a way of going back into the carrots are little. Yeah. Go. Okay. Well, we've got a I got a handle on him. And now I can develop it by doing some research. It's like working backwards you go, right? I've got the answer. The question is. Okay. Yeah. And that that was kind of how I went about bringing STAN to life. Now, we had obviously we spent four weeks in rehearsal. John C Reilly playing all of a haughty an ice house room for four weeks. And we these dance routines. We learned some of the physical stuff. We gotta clown that clown adviser, and he loves clowns John climate. He wasn't going for a while. And Geico Toby Sedgwick who taught us how to walk till? How to move we had to learn dance routines. We had some dance routines that they did. Yeah. And then learn that mistakes and put the mistakes as well. All right. It's like a band we had to learn each move meticulously, and then make it messy like like a good band that can play tight you had to make it like they would do it. Yeah. And then play be loose. They give it the jazz element. Yeah. Where things are not quite shoe, and you get tossed lightly. Right. Kind of thing wasn't fun. It was it was great fun. It was hard work. But it was fun. And that was the but in doing it together. John, and I got to know each of the B B became friends the same way that you know, we we saying, hey, this is just like standing Ali will put together we've been put together. Let's find out who. Yeah. Let's learn to trust each other. And and we got on great became the it was all designed to make the movie work. But the byproducts of that was that we became course, inevitably became very good friends. We will living each other's pockets and having to take care of each other onscreen. Yeah. And guide each other a little to look out for me. And like, hey, you know, when you did that thing was better the first time you did it. All right. Okay. What about me? You know, you constantly dry us and saying, hey, give me some feedback. What do you think of that? That was pretty good. Right. What do you think we can do? You know? It's it's great. It must have been very because I was a really I'm not I'm not cynical. But I'm judge mental. You know, I I was like completely blown away by both of the performances, and and the movie itself, I thought it was great. And I know what to expect when I saw the trailer. I was like holy shit. This is why this is going to be insane. And and it just like e doesn't matter if you know who they are. You know, it's you know, it's it's really an interesting portal into not only pass time. But the this sort of. Kind of eternal dynamic of of you know, relationship and guys who I just feel I feel like it's. The some this especially right now any conversation because of the world we're living in most conversations were differences of opinions at tend to spy on escalate into this kind of. Biblical meltdown. Yeah. Time and again. Yeah. And it's it's just about two people figuring out a way through the fucking mess. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. And what we're voting for you. I mean in terms of you know, what you've done in your career. It was. I mean, I I did this when I wrote this film Philomena few as you mentioned, and that was to me that was kind of a little piffle for me because I was like, hey, you know, comedy is isn't just an interesting thing that itself, it's it's it's more interesting component. And and as a as a as a tool. Yeah weapon. Sure us. Yeah. To try and tell stories keep people's hard open. Yeah. And it's it's B, and storytelling you that's why I saw fell in love with. And I think he'd like what? Especially with. I keep thinking about the political in the global landscape and everything off people who are each of the throats and the Tristesse nature of any kind of discussion. And when you put comedy or something, it just softens things people just more open to some. It's like any kind of stories if you have an intellectual discourse you, and I can have an argument. Yup. Some blitz. I present all my the merits of my evidence blow to do the same. Whenever I mean, you might you might accommodate a little bit of it. But really if you really want to make people think that it's the idea of considered it was an all of komo's set you. I beg you in the that of Christ it possible. You may be wrong. You know, just the notion of self doubt yet that that's a healthy thing. Right. Sure. Thing you might not be right about. So I'm very healthy that. Yeah. It's just a good thing. But the only thing that really makes people think about that. So if you tell the story of the bible is full of stories. Yeah. And that's you know, it's not about you. Tell a story the story touches someone. Yeah. It'll make them think about something. Oh, absolutely more powerfully than a whole spreadsheet of statistics. And and he's done also like some of the other movies, you, you know, you've done you've been part of like because really, you know, good satire is not there's not a lot of it. And I think that, you know, the British are a little better at it, generally. But also, I think tropic thunder is one of the greatest satirical movies. Yeah. I mean, it's like it's really deep movie. Yeah. It's it is. It's about the funny thing is you're right. I think you re is about it's about something. Yeah. It's point is it's not just funny. It's about some. Yeah. About something. That's about human nature says something also show business vanity and so businesses shallowness, but it's a commentary on something. Unfortunately. I think because it's comedy that it still it's sort of things like that get because they don't wear their importance on the sleeve comedy by its very nature doesn't wear it's importance on it. Because it makes you laugh you think what it can't be that important. Yes, it can be. Yeah. I think it's underrated in terms of the intelligence of the whole thing. How'd you get involved with that with that still? What I knew him just because he knew my stuff I knew his stuff, and I think insulin met me and said, hey, I really dig yourself will your stuff, and he said what will you do? And then I and I did those night at the museum movies. It might have been after track. I think it's after but anyway, the, but he said coming play you play the direct to destroy. Interestingly he said, the funniest I work for some reason why by was playing the British director. I think he wanted me to see dislike -able, but I wa- confederate flag. Yeah. I work confederate flag on on my. I wasn't my choice. Yeah. They put a confederate flag on my shirts here. And because playing the British writes, this OC that that why that when they tested the movie bend said, the only thing people didn't like it when the moves the confederate flag, and they digitally removed it from every frame, that's crazy of me. Yeah yet. So that I just had a plane Luzi shit on. I wouldn't have noticed that. Yeah. But I think in the trailer of the maybe the maybe some online there's a trailer. I'm still wearing like a in in. And do you. So do you you you do like doing that kind of stuff where you're really like even the political comedy with with anything? Which is you know, I like I done a lot of comedy that which is a edgy and like doing stuff, which is I mean long haughty decided standing all as it's called is quite as sort of a gentle. There was the trip to that. I mean that was kind of relationship to it is it is similar in ways that so. Yeah. The trip about sits lays guys trying to figure out life. Yeah. Like that. But I think I don't want is thing when you're younger. It's like I got more to prove I want to be the comedy. I did was sort of more acerbic Vaughn cynical. But it's like I like where it's kind of giving the finger to the establishment. And then when you if you're over forty and you're giving people the finger. It's kind of it's kind of. It's not a good look. Well, I I love the movie, and it was great talking to you. I'm glad you took the time to do it. You know, thanks for hanging out. I like it. I like garbage. I'd know I'd I've got a hammer on the hammer a half a helmet is that is for me to attack you or you to attack me whatever you feel like generally, neither has happened. People. Just ask what the fuck it happened found it somewhere, and it was on the table and the old garage now it's over here. So how long you in town for three days, and I'm gonna I'm planning Monaco to do actually the Michael Winterbottom? I'm doing another movie with him. And during a movie about a rich billion a busted are you him? I'm him. Yeah. How's the script? Good funny. It's he's like a super-rich guy who has soupy oats and big parties. And and employees and employs people in sweatshops in in in Chalan and super super cheap tickets all on the highstreet in does he have an existential moral crisis. At the end of act to know, he's the best at all the way through and then he dies. So that's refreshing. Unpredictable. Thanks, man. We'll have a good trip. Okay. Thanks. Go see that movie folks that was Steve Coogan. I did an amazing job and and movies. Just great standing Ali playing now in New York and California it opens everywhere on Friday January eighteenth. Oh, so if you're looking for a smart way to unwind play the New York Times, many crossword, the crossword is the fun relaxing way to stay sharp, folks. Enjoy quick battle of wits with yourself or challenge a friend in about two minutes, you'll experience satisfaction of solving. The mini puzzle is word play every day. Download the New York Times crossword at at NY times dot com slash times. Crossword. Okay. Okay. We don't need. No stinking wall. Dig it. I'm gonna play somebody tar some slightly border tinged guitar. I think it's got echo to it got twain Tex-Mex. He may maybe not. Maybe it's just me doing what I do at the end of the show. Live.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Aired 3 months ago 64:21
Best of Clancy And The Rockets Week 2: Rutledge Gets Rocked, Kayce Cries Over Ugly Dogs, and What's Hooking Up Exactly
All right. It's week two of cleansing the rockets. Best of brought to you by own max cognitive boost it is a game changer. It's one hundred percent certified supplement that makes you mentally sharper. The game is ninety percent medal. The other half is what is Yogi Berra say. The game is ninety percent. Ninety five percent men. Other half is physical ninety five percent meant mental shot the Yogi bear so own. Max kind new boost is the best way to easiest way to keep your brain sharp. Whether you're talking about, you know, you're just getting a little older. Maybe you want to just be sharper at work. You got a focus on at school, whatever it may be. If you're feeling foggy forgetful on focused on motivated, sometimes you just downright cranky irritable. Olmecs cognitive boost helps you deal with all of that. You can get a sixty percent off offer on a one month supply when you go to Olmecs boost dot com slash KFC. That's a x be double O S T dot com slash KFC gets sixty percent off a one month supply of the alpha and the omega which helps you stay sharp. It's max blues dot com slash KFC week to best of it's only based on Monday and Tuesday of last week since we were all for the holiday. Luckily for you every time we're on the Mike we. Spit such hot fire. All we need is to episodes to create a compilation podcast everything we do every segment. We spit is good enough to be a best of every time. We talk it's the best. So Monday, Tuesday, we talked we start. We sat down with the Laura Rutledge the sideline reporter who went viral forgetting absolutely creamed by a linebacker on George. I believe it was we had a spirited debate about what constitutes a hookup and should oral sex be considered part of a girl's number. Let's just say there was wild disagreement between the males and the females on that one. Do you still do fr- friends giving do you do thanksgiving eve, and what we were all thankful for so enjoy best of and we'll be back this week for a full week on Clancy in the rockets. Let's get started thanksgiving. We were coming in have little what's called, Bob, boys. Bob matters shives. Yeah. I think so who led the dogs out to honor of pet con which I see. You gotta get deep with it with hours behind the behind the boards there. It was pet conned this week fuck. Yeah. Was weekend. Casey case with certainly partook in that it is Clancy. And the rockets here we get a kick things off. Right. We're gonna get into a whole bunch of shit. We obviously got to talk about the big news of the weekend. We will talk about Condoleeza Rice and Alex Smith in that horrific injury. A lot of things to talk about in the broad sense here on Glancy corrobos and Casey. But I I had I had to start with this because we talked about it on Friday as we're wrapping up last week that Casey was going to be doing pet Kahn, which is like Comecon and all the other cons, but for bets and Casey has a human crush on a celebrity dog true. And you were very amped up to go you via ABS, Wendy where you making content or this was just for fun. No, we made content. So originally, I was just going to go for fun. You're going to go alone. Oh, yeah. Literally, just by yourself. Not even a friend nothing. You're just going to go. I was like listen, I'm not going to drag somebody to pet con on Saturday morning at like nine AM, very honorable of you exactly now. Once I started timeout in the office, like everybody was like, I would have gone to pack. Even Dave was like, I would have totally gone. So maybe I should have said it out loud. But I was totally gonna go by myself. And I reached out to our PR agency like shout out, those girls who are awesome. I emailed him. I was like listen, I need I need to get into peck on. I will buy a way you were like tickets are expensive. I was going to say, but this time you decided like I got a call in a favor. Yeah. Exactly Super Bowl. It's not like a World Series tickets because I could get those by myself, right? Like, so here's my thought process like I didn't mind buying a general admission ticket to pack on because I was like I can spend money, but I wasn't sure if I got a general admission ticket if they would assure me to me, my crush guy versus how much do you think general admission ticket was to pet com? Where is it? I was at the Javits center. Okay. It's twenty five bucks. I was to say like one hundred bucks really seventy five one day, and they had VIP passes you could buy for seven hundred and fifty dollars, and I might delay to dog home. What a fuck so I'm like, I call ineffective. I asked for they're like, yeah, we can get you a press pass. So when we were doing ugly sweater day last week bibs, and I were playing like Erica and Brett's children in this like weird family photo, we were taking and I sent something along the lines of like, oh, I'm going to pick on what you're going to peck on I have to go to. So we came together decided to do this video bibs, and I have never so much like had more than like a Hello. How're you doing conversation? And we went and this these people, I'm crazy. But these people that attend on our insane. Like they have their dogs in strollers. And of course, everybody brings their pets. But like it is you walk into dog heaven. Yeah. Like there there's there's people there's dog people. There's dog people. I mean, I love my dog more than I like my humans. But it's like that's kind of where it stops and starts for me. I don't think I'd be attending conventions. And like, but the thing about cases talking about these insane goal is like Casey, you are one of the air. I am. I am like I. So I went out Friday night like after we went and had drinks after the radio show to like celebrate the week and everything else. Like, I went out. It was a delight by the way it was. Right. Yeah. Because I was like, oh, it's like seven o'clock, and I'm already kind of drunk. This is great my old age. So I went out afterwards. And everyone was like trying to buy shots of. I was like listen, I have to pet Konta. My can't give fucked up like I hate associated so seriously. So we go, and I find out very quickly that because we were with bar. So like, they love the fact that barstool was there, and we had the microphones that they were letting us into the VIP lounge like this is great. So I go into the lounge and every single Instagram famous pet is there now what exactly is the lounge lounge where they have the couches, but on the couches where all the dogs like all the dogs. Now, I have been on record. And I stand by. It's like I hate the whole like Instagram famous thing. Like, I think that it's like, I think it was Kevin Connolly from entourage. It's like being Instagram famous is like having monopoly money like you might have a lot of it. But it doesn't actually do shit for you like I'm not big on Instagram famous people except for Instagram famous dogs because they have no idea that they're Instagram famous, and I love. It. So I go in there. They have no idea they have no clue. So like makes it more real to me. I go in there. These dogs are getting treated like just the royalty royalty. They are. But to know is not in their Tunas, the one that I wanted to know tuna tuna looks like yeah. But he looks like a cartoon. He looks like Mr. burns from the Simpsons. Tim tuna like cartoon tuna God. I mean, if you need any facts like. But of a stretch, I like it. So it's like tuna melt yard, he's got two million followers on Instagram like this dog. It's almost too famous to be in this VIP lounge so vibes and I were interviewing dogs like we did it. Like VIPs was eating dog treats at one point just like doing like obstacle courses. And I cannot make this up and it will be on camera. We'll be on a video at one point. I look over where I think Tunas meet and greet booth is going to be and I see him running like he's going rogue, and he's like running and I just start sobbing. See I this is my. Turn for Casey Smith going to pet con is like if we're anywhere. And I hear like I know that there's a dog like that's like that's the dog alarm well a family. So we have a family dog here on I don't I have a a child of divorce. I have a dog that my ex-boyfriend took that she gets a gift once a month. But she's in the south. She's not up here. So she she's technically still my dog. But your baby, mama. I'm a baby, mama. Yeah. And I'm paying my word. Yeah. So that's it's even harder. Like, it's even like, I'm a I'm a crazy dog person. But yeah, I'm a crazy dog person. But this I have fallen in love with this dog on Instagram. I realize how crazy it was like if I having a shit day. No matter what happens in icy oppose from tuna. I'm like, yes, this is it. So I see him in his little red sweatshirt that he always wears. And I'm just like hyperventilate. I'm like, I gotta go meet this dog, by the way, I've never met a person that I cared about like this like I've never gotten starstruck by a person ever. And. And we because we had the cameras and because we had the microphone and everything we got to go up, and she knew his mom knew who we were because they're also ripped by the same PR agency. So she's crazy like my. He has a book tour like this dog has gone on a book tour. So she was like, hey, if you come back and like X amount of time like wool like let you have some time playing with him. And then like you can do like some interviews with them. And she was like an obviously like you can have your own time with them. Like, yes. So we went and did other things I got some other interviews like whatever. And then I got to go back, and I got to bibs actually interviewed his mom because there was no way I was like focusing on that I wanted to focus on tuna. And I'm Mike holding him. And like fuck you human. Yeah. Whatever. And so I start tearing up. I was so excited. So his mom starts crying. Because I'm and I was like. I'm like this is the craziest shit I've ever done because I'm actually crying over a dog right now. But it's like it just. Off the weekend. What that means? The fact that the owner cried. Yeah, means that like that doesn't happen. All that often. Kevin were really that special. Like when it comes to the crazy that line the line for him was so long, and we went like interviewed people people were flying in from other countries. I cannot say you're actually not the crazy. I wouldn't fly anywhere. They have. I wouldn't I he happened to be in New York. And I knew I could go see him. And like, yeah. Like, I obviously have a crazy bitch if I'm crying over a dog. But these people were like flying over there was this girl who flew in from California and she had like his merch on. And she was like, I'm literally just here to meet tuna. These are real things that are happening. So yes, I'm crazy. But unlike the pet con crazy scale at the bottom. Yeah. Whatever into that's insane. To me that there are people out there that would fly from another fucking country to meet a dog New Zealand New Zealand. Yes, that's like to a different planet. Yes. I can see like doing that for a celebrity that can actually speak then has a personality. But like you can just look at a dog that looks like tuna. No, no. 'cause see this is like by. So I'm looking at it. You can see on on Instagram us tuna melts. My heart is name. You actually, I don't know if you could find another dog that looks like tuna he 'cause he's a weird fucking looking dog. I'm going to be honest. I'm going to say something that I don't think this dog is cute mostly people. He's he's one of those like, ugly ugly. Earning rapists, type like do you like do you think that he's listened good looking dog or you like because he's like kind of Oakley? He's ugly. He's like the like you're so ugly. That you're the cutest thing ever. I just want to make sure you're acknowledging in fact, ugly because there's not I mean that is costing creature. No, I bad under bite every time. I show people his pictures there. Like this dog is ugly. I'm like well. Fuck you, and you need to know his personality by Instagram. You feel like you're kind of being like disloyal to your your your your dog. I mean, I know you're not with them anymore. But like this is this is like a stranger. No. Because it's like if you're in a relationship you're allowed to have like a hall pass. Right. My daughter crush, but you like went and hung out with them. It's like an cry us, and I'm going through a divorce over this is what you do dog. Yeah. But like, it's not my fault that my ex took my dog major. You're a single woman basically when it comes to dog. Casey is not just like this with just tuna like there there is a night where Casey might have had a little bit too much to drink and she was walking down the street in a random stranger how to dog shooting. Oh my God. She was on the verge of tears over a dog that she had known for maybe five seconds. I was blackout that night that you're referencing. There's a girl. There's like they're rare. Yes dog. It's like when you when you break up with somebody like when you're in a relationship, you don't notice all the romance around you as much because you're interrelationship, then you get your ass dumped. And then you notice all the happy people around you. That's what I'm going through with dog. I had my dog who is treated like a human who. I'd get like the puppet Chino's for it. Starbucks, and then my ex boyfriend was like, no, I'm keeping her. So now, I just notice all the happy dogs. I feel that where did you lose your dog? Because like it's a better life for him to be in the south or something like that. Yeah. I know you're a good owner. Yeah. Because like she she grew up at the house. I haven't called station with like a big backyard and a pool and everything I have a city move to Boston with her. And then like, obviously, like, I we're not together anymore, but tuna back to tuna like it was one of the happiest things because it's like I said, and I don't dig sucker like co tweeted meters now saying the Instagram famous thing like with no context, it's gonna look talking shit about girls at care about Instagram followers. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is it's. Like Instagram dogs don't know their famous. So it makes me even happier. It's like this dog has no idea why we're alive. Align hundreds of people to hold him. And he's like can I just go eat like, and you leave me alone. I have a question how the fuck did tuna go on a book tour. Well, his mom has mom didn't write the book. Right. The book. Mom, are you saying you kind of like on ironically, like do you really call them? Like, you don't say onery say mom and dad. Yes. A joke or not you call the moment that because you'd have to your mom and dad, I mean, it's his mom. What do you mean? It says mom, I would say dog owner dog mom, but like. Doc mind about tuna or is it like pictures of tuna? It's all of the because he has his own website. It's tuna tuna Mahar dot com slash products. So he's got like a whole merch page here. He's got a calendar that makes sense. Let's see how does how travel on Instagram famous. So I ask those questions because so there's another dog that's called Harlow in sage and we talked about it. Dave's obsessed with sage like, he asked me. He's like did you get to meet them? I was like I got to meet Reese, and he was like shut the fuck up like people like just get attached to these dogs. I asked Tunas mom how it happened. And she said she didn't want to make an Instagram for herself. She didn't want like an individual Instagram like those was pictures of her and her husband. So she started posting pictures of him. And it just started to go viral like just started to take off. And obviously now two million people follow him on Instagram. And I like he's always on all these outlandish outfits and whatever else, but it's like they just start from just posting everyday, videos and pictures. Okay. Now, let me just say this. I they sell calendars. I sell one follow one that some. He's from Brooklyn shit. It's a doodle though. And. I don't think he I want to kidnap let them just live a normal life. He's always like wearing human clothes and being forced to sit upright. They put like glasses on him. There is he doesn't wanna do that. And it was probably at PEC on because there's this other dog like that like pushes a grocery cart like a little miniature video Essel sprout like pushes a grocery cart. That's why I said like tuna when I saw tuna going rogue it was like this. He's like a rock star. He's like, I don't give a fuck about being wrangled like I'm just going to run over and talk to the other dogs at the other booth because you know, that they don't know why they're there. They don't know why so mad sometimes they don't wanna be. But that's why I was like when I was holding two now is just like I need you to know how much you mean to me. I think this is my God. This is Samson the doodle is who I know that Sampson. I mean, we were popular got like he was classes and a fucking button up shirt on right now. That's the kind of shit when I get home from work. I wanna take off right making hit where this you haven't really got a problem outside of city field. There's this guy who fucking at the bottom of the steps and you get off the subway. He's wearing a Mets put the dog in a mess uniform, and I've corncob pipe and glasses and a hat, and he sits there Eddy. Makes you charges you for pictures. I am going to kidnap that dog one day. See that's swear to God. I'm going to do it. Fuck that guy. He's exploiting him for money. That dog has not wanted to be sitting. Humans. Don't want to go to city field. Nobody wants to go to a Mets game. And this poor dog is forced to sit there. Yeah. I'm with that. There's actually a moment. So I used to go to New Orleans every single year with like my college friends, but it was really easy to get to from Houston. And so we would go, and we just obviously do the whole bourbon street, whatever. And there was this dog that was like a homeless person's dog. But like plays like it's dead the whole time, and like, you take pictures, and I went up to it and realize like this dog was clearly drugs. I get had to be. There was no I threatened this dude's life like for real. I was going to fucking kill you because you're hurting this dog to make money you homeless bum. And then my friends had to physically pick me up and carry about that stuff makes me said, I know Tunas living the high life, and by the way, I like to mention I might be crazy. But I'm having girls tweet me right now that they would have also cried. We'll guess what they're crazy too. Crazy. I said it's it's been this has been the running theme for the first week or so it's I said now, it's. It's crazy crazier craziest and Casey est because he's crying or is out at Dover. And that's all for content. Isn't that what we're supposed to do here? Like that's gonna be a great video, Casey. If you did not work, you're doing the same thing. But just knowing knowing what I would have to talk about it like I wouldn't have to be like, oh, listen, I cried because I'm like getting out in front of it. Like, I know I cried on camera so girls are are texting you between you that? They would to were there. Other people at pet con doing that though. I only had eyes for tuna. I was fortune. Anybody else was anybody else online for tuna crime people were flying from fucking New Zealand Kevin on answering. The we're other people crying. I don't know. I didn't have to that was the best thing. Like because we had the barstool microphones like I didn't have to wait in line. Like, so I got sure the people from new New Zealand where like clock girl, let me like play with them and whatever else, but there were some. I mean, there are a lot of crazy ass people there. And there are a lot of dudes there too. That were like equally as excited to meet these dogs now crying. I'm not sure, but it was really just hyped up in my mind, and I was like a plus it'll be funny for on camera. I love like you're at. When you're out of bar at like, noon or something like that. And you're like he's fucking like, what are you guys unemployed? You fucking bums at the bar this early and you realize you're sitting in the same bar for exactly yeah. Throw those stones. I'm looking at the list here is from two thousand seventeen the list of most follow dogs. Jif palm the pomeranian. I thought the dog's name was boo. One seven million Instagram. Follow the same guy the coup who the fuck isn't there a dog named boo? That's like that. Well, this is another one seven million for that guy. I mean, there's a list here of Nala has three point five Doug the pug, three million their doctor book, grumpy cat, I seen grumpy cab before morning the dog tuna is in the middle. There was more tuna you can follow on or check him out whatever tuna melts, my heart. He's a chill weenie. So he's a Chihuahua mix skewed. Was that a dachshund weenie dogs? Juniper FOX what a weird name that is for a dog. This is my dog. Juniper FOX, okay psycho. You know, the dog from the chew commercials. No do if you do. So he's like the world stunt like leader something and heated, like an obstacle course fibs. And I were part of it like they let us like go like hold hands, and he jumped over whatever. And I was just like these people are coming to see stunt dogs. Like, I I'm amongst my people like I'm amongst my came back like I didn't wanna leave like we had beers in the middle twos. Like we had halftime beers because we're just degenerates happiest at your life. I mean, it was pretty great coming off the five year anniversary to the next day to pet con use. I mean, you just have a weekend. I just kept drinking like just like I'm living this. Hi, I'm gonna like watch college football tonight and just live this high knows great raft up. Casey Smith's perfect day. It has to look a lot. Like what you experience if you mixed in like an Aggie and Aggie victory. Yeah. I would've been that. I don't know if an Aggie Nagy national championship. Maybe it was that. Important the meeting Jordan now talking national championship. No. It's not as important as that. But it was it was even through that in the mix. Like, this is important. Yeah. I mean, so driving an emotional response. Like crying of happiness. It has to be a national championship. Sure. Let's take a break. What would what would you cry? What's enough to make you cry tears of joy? It's an interesting question where you really look at yourself in the mirror and be honest what what could draw. Yeah. That's basically the whole list, but we come back. We'll get into that. We'll talk a little Condoleeza Rice. And we got ourselves a big Monday year Clancy of the rockets with getting fed. Dude. Now. All right. We are back. We are now. Joined by Laura Rutledge. She went viral this weekend. She was on the sidelines at the Georgia football game. And she was trying to do her report. And she just got cream. She got the fuck out. You got knocked fuck out blindsided by this guy. Pray through the Hudson. Wasn't it? Yeah. And then he actually ended up tweeting her saying, hey, I'm really sorry. I knocked you down, but I can pick you up at seven with. That's going all sorts of viral fifty thousand retweets two hundred seventy five thousand likes. So quite the quite the weekend of events for you, Laura. Yeah. You know, funny because I did definitely I got knocked the F out. So the fact that I was even able to pop back up in any way, shape or form kind of remarkable. And that's one thing ITO for you craze. Like he didn't hit that hard. We it looks pretty bad. But not. Thought maybe a little art or considering that, you know, he was the guy we're in the home of Pat. But you know, it's funny because I didn't know what was it hit me? Honestly like it happened down on the ground dot back up. The report like tried to go on about my business and kind of mentor of day, it'd be mentioned and then later on somebody called him out on Twitter for like being the person who had done it. And that's when he shot and shot, you know shooting. Donate on it knocked that hustle. No. I am him. I thought it was hilarious. I bought out loud. I'm Moore's I'm buried, so what I. Got it. And what did the husband of that? That's. If you're the husband sitting at home, and all of a sudden, you have college football players hitting on your girl publicly. Her husband is no. He used to play for the Red Sox. And he literally has the most beautiful hair. Oh, Josh Rutledge. He's he he's not worried about it. I mean, all right. That chain is like some jumps homes. Yeah. They're like the most beautiful couple ever. But the best thing I blog about this earlier, by the way, I had people coming up to me all day today. Being like, why haven't you blogs by your best friend getting? Well, what am I supposed to go on? They're like fun of her. But. She did Papa real fast. Like, I don't know if that's broad has ever has ever gotten up like LeBron milks that shit for like hours and lures popping up. Like I had to do this. Is that adrenalin or just didn't hurt that bad? Were you always hurt so much? But I can't really. Yeah. It hurt really bad like Phil does. But but what happened was I knew that they were coming to me wait for the on the. The plane announce this right now, this is the three of my wife and the plane, but anyway, so I thought I have to do the hit. So they're like in my ear their like, are you? Okay. I'm like YoM. Okay. Like just in it down to create the funny thing. I mean, no one was watching game. I in wake just being normal and going going right ahead with the hit. I say, oh, I just got hit. You know, there was like. At that point. You know, that was brand up. But but yeah, I just I think I had no idea what happened. And I thought I'd better just pop back up and deal with the pain later. Well, all right. Let me ask you a question. I hope I'm not talking out of school. But if you were not married with that tweet have worked. You know? I look I looked at her and you looked a little young for me. I'm thirty two. Oh, sing that. You were you. I think you add you take your age, and you divide it by two and then ads seven and that that's like the cutoff or how number right? Yup. Yup. So like, you know, I'm thirty fifteen seven. So I think creator by the the range for me. Maybe like he's on. He's a right writing. But I don't know that he's my kind of guide to be completely on a special team player. That's like a backup running Jack or something. Laurel days quarterbacks. Really funny guy. I will say that like you really funny guy, and I loved it. I thought it was hilarious and cross to him, you know, combining an apology through with a whole areas tick up life. Yeah. Listen Twitter loved it. So I mean the end of the day, you don't get a date, but you get two hundred seventy five thousand likes to followers. Yeah. Sure. A little bit of cloud instead of the date fine. I'll take it. And then bars the Marsh audience got like a photo gallery of Laura on on my blog. This is a window to win win win win back is broken. Almost anything. I'm watching it back. I'm pretty sure you got your feet before. He did you. She popped right up. I don't know where he went confused about where he was he just seemed to disappear the whole thing and I was trying to put my game face back on. So I never even saw where he ended up. But you know, if you notice date guys it should have been called for a penalty. It'll be to be. They didn't have it. Dude. If that is not as me, I'm getting carded out of there. I'm giving the thumbs up to the crowd. Process you for doing the job. So once you take off your flight, happy thanksgiving hope, you feel better. Elevate. We're gonna hit a break. I love you too. All right. Well, it'd break when we come back. Final segment of our number one here before halftime on Casey Clancy. The rockets. All right. We're back down in cases year on June chicks, the office up next then more still radio than high haters. It's the new lineup here on power eighty five. Our very first episode. We talked about the Tom Herman fiasco and Jack Smith was tweeting about how he was cheating on his wife with the Asian masseuse massage parlor, and then they give everybody here. Almost everybody. Kind of in the world was like on. It's not cheating. Nobody come on. Just a little little rub and tug, right? Well, there's a guy who is suing a spa for giving him an X rated massage here Manhattan in Chelsea. So like right around the corner. Maybe you just send that address over here. Ronnie are no from New Jersey says he visited the upscale living fresh men's spa with his husband gay, dude. And he laid down in what appeared to be normal massage ten minutes into the session. She started to poke is quote exclusively on our nose buttocks for an inordinate amount of time making him very comfortable as he became more and more uncomfortable. He moved. She moved his fingers below his buttocks and began caressing at no point. How do you indicated earlier or otherwise that he can send it to her touching his penis? I guess one point she said to turn over and she threw the towel off. And at that point he jumped up and was like, no, no, I don't want this. And he called the cops. If you roll into a rub and tug, and you know, it's a rub and tug that's on you. You gotta listen. I don't know these things I mean. Yeah. Like calling the cops is asinine. But like could he just not have known? And he's like why is this lady touching my penis? I mean, I'm looking at the front the storefront. It does not look like that seedy. Like, a nice glass window, lift usually if you've ever seen these places or heard of just through the grapevine, it's like a fucking whole law door with no window. Double Lada dive bars of massage, right? You've put put put put, but I still still. I think it is. It's usually odd for them to just assume especially nowadays, you can't assume shit cannot assume I don't think that it's like, I don't think there's like verbal consent. Usually one of my buddies goes to these all the time. Glenn he ball. He's he's a fucking pro this egos rubbing dogs. Did you just make that up? No, no legend, Glenn balls. When he first started. He's like super well known for. But like he really is. It's not just like a rumor, I mean, he one time he space time Dosso a cure from one as he was getting rubbed down loves them. I mean good for him my night if that's what you're into. He said that they always ask. And then like they'll ask if he's office. Do you want me to touch your peanuts? Hell just like give the nod. And then like that's what I'm saying. I think a lot of it is is probably like unspoken. So when she's like lay down take your clothes off. And he's like, okay. I think she's like all right? But you're supposed to take her. I know I know I know I saw this. I think is like unspoken. I like I read. Final Bergara wrote a blog about this one time, and it was pretty funny. He said like no matter how hard you jerk off my fingers, they're not gonna come. So like move massages. Yeah, I've done the massage thing a couple of times. And there's some parts of it that I like there's some parts of that. I don't like, and I've never been asked like if I wanted to be jerked off. Well, have you ever gone to one of these though, they're not gonna ask you if you're gonna you're out one of these places? I mean, I I guess that doesn't look like one of those places. I mean, I think that is where this becomes a problem. Definitely is looks like a classy joint. It does what I mean. It does what I mean. No matter what fine fine. Even you've been duped. She tries to you don't want. It sees ten minutes in is very aggressive to ten minutes must have been. All right. That's what I'm saying. It's like you gotta give me like at least a half an hour regular massage for off at the end. Yeah. That's it's a happy ending. Now. Have you beginning? Sure. This is a female masseuse that we're talking about. What's the name pay Thanh Payton? So he or she. Moved his fingers. Oh, fingers below the buttocks. So this good call, Mikey. This is a gay happy ending massage. That is different because it's just different. I feel like again with guys and a girl it can be. It's like like like you walk into a massage place right now. And you see like a bunch of aged women, and it's like dark, and the place isn't the greatest I think, you know, exactly what's going for. Sure. I think that there might be a different vibe for the gave version of this. Where you can get back off these things because how in twenty eighteen with social media, and you got the fucking like yelp how many places are to this. Massage parlor, and they try to jerk me off west Gordon spa right around the corner from here has been doing this for like thirty years. And everyone knows it large was like, oh my God. This is like a Wall Street staple like everybody takes guys their clients. Like, it's been going on forever. It has to be either you're paying it off. Or it's like, hey, we got a lot to worry about. We're not gonna worry about like the. Have you watched deuce yet? Have you seen it? I've seen a little bit of it. But it's like I mean, it's old school like how prostitution became illegal in New York City, and it's like even. Yeah. Well, like, it was it was like this is like really old God, or is that I don't even know if it was ever legal, but it was like J J, right? It was accepted. And then it's like bidding moves into like, the porn industry, whatever. But they pay off the police just stay away from them. Even when it was like full-blown prostitution. So these places are probably like, listen, man. Like, it's not full blown prostitution in here. Like, I mean, it goes back to what we're talking about. Like, I I don't call. I would not go prostitution. No. You're not paying for sex. You're paying for a hand job. It's different. It's almost different. I mean, it's it's it's completely different sex. It's completely different from just the regular besides the middle. Yeah. It's I mean suing for that is pretty. Starting to assume how I mean how about this like now everyone knows that you've got your, but rubs and your dick jerked, and you didn't want it like having to go public with this is way worse than just like the embarrassment of like, oh my God. It's also a try hard move to impress his boyfriend. So to say like there could be like a lie to like, this is all a cover up like like his boyfriend found out or caught him or where where are you? And he said where he was like, oh, I didn't want this at all do some desperate things in situations. Like that I had a girlfriend text me. And be like, hey, I need you to call me right now. And she was like, I need you to text my boyfriend and pretend like this elaborate story, and I was sure I'd help you bury a fucking body. But it's like when you're in a situation like that, you might act desperate. That would probably that would make more sense to me. Then like this. I need to sue because I was confused after the fact I guess this is weird because I'm looking at it now looking at like the spa and there's like. Facials and like custom body scrubs. Like, I feel usually you walk into those joints. And it's like it's one hundred dollars per massage. You're gonna get checked off not like wanna facial scrub do you want to jacuzzi custom body, blah? So I don't know maybe this guy has more of a gripe than I think, I don't know. I don't know how to respond to an actual rub and tug. I don't know if that's my bag. I think you would probably come. I don't think I I think if she's not I don't think that would be like into it. I could see the rocket fuel in that way. Yeah. Got your standards. I mean, I don't think when you go to them you're thinking like I can't wait for to meet a hot girl. I think you have to go in knowing. Bye. A woman. Right. Yeah. I don't know. I don't think I'd like that rockets fuck without rockets. My thing I do like getting a massage. So I wanted I was the Duke thing maybe that is by far the Dushi is thing he's ever said. And he said it was such a smirk on his face like he was so confident, and he was saying don't deal with anybody. Yeah. To yourself. I'm just saying and tugs might not be my thing. But you do another outing talking about talking about doing a wrecking room. We gotta do. Vacation. Nation. We're all going to get out. Does that even exist for girls? I don't know. It should I think I'll sit that one out that would be weird. I'll say guys like many many people like there's like you said there's wide in the open these places are well accepted like guys just going to jerked off by strangers. Then if there was any sort of. Similar thing for girls. It would be like what you just go and get fingered. What is going on? I'm sure I'm sure there are I don't know. I really don't know about that. Which I mean, it was like a Hollywood movie. So it might have been made up. I would sit that field trip out guys get yourself. I think short of a legit gigolo. I don't think that that happens. I don't think so either I feel like. Traits. Someone like where you're just like, this is a male Hooker. Because I don't think there are girls. Like, yeah, we just get like our feet rope. And also seamless you just. A figure bang. Yeah. There's no way. There's that is a I guess there's something for everybody. Sure. You can get anything you want done. Oh, yeah. And this there was a movie that had a scene like that. And it was really funny mail. Happy endings, I think it might have been Mike and Dave need wedding dates. Did you ever see? That was Jack Ephron greet film archive. Peter ternan electric film. Happen in that. I could see that. Because like all be plaza. And. Yeah. My girl and Kendrick. We're like train wrecks in it. So that was that movie is hilarious. But I'm pretty sure it happened in that. So e. Were you on the record as saying? So if your boyfriend gotta rub and tug, would you? What would you would be? I just want to know. Yeah. Just like don't ask them. I just don't wanna know if you did know, what would you would you be mad probably not right? It's just like I mean, I don't know why we're not regular if you got jerked off by girl in a bar. So I'm going to be a disaster. It's like agreed upon. It's a business. You national water sort of saying, right? Never. It's not a crime of passion a business transaction. It's different. Yeah. I would just I'd rather not know I know that you guys are getting massages ignorance is bliss. We're going to film it. I don't think you can film that. That's how this glasses with the fucking or we're gonna wear like. So why are you wearing a harness for your hand job? Don't worry about these things. You've got to come up with these definitions. Like, what is this? What is that? What is cheating? What he's okay. What is not and one of the classic timeless debates that I don't think we'll ever end. There is no definitive answer. What constitutes a hookup true? Means many different things to different people hook up. I know guys who are like if there's no penetration. You didn't hook up like, well, let's let's soften that a little bit just for myself esteem. You know what I mean? So I can add a couple more to the list. I think that people lists of people that you've got up with you haven't had sex with. No, I'm just saying that I would like to be able to hooked up with her. It's like we're cutting out all that. There's there's some things that I'd like to be able to say that I would no longer be able to bake it if their name came up hooked up with they're like, no, no, you only fuck in like, you know, you only like went down on it doesn't count. One of those hook. That's it's there are I feel like everyone has a different definition of what I would like it to be it'll show you how old you are too though. Like, I feel like in high school if you said hooked up way different than if you like a thirty year old war. I also think there's like is it are we going to say hook up in the sense of like, I'm adding this to my list of people or is it like. Yeah. Hooked up with their lavar might even make up with make out with someone in a bar. Can you just say like? Yeah. Hooked up with it in the bar. No. I feel like what do you say? They're on the bar yet. Literally did that I made out with this. This is my rule for hookups because if you just made out of bar, then you just you know, you'd be like, yeah. Like I made out with her last night. But I can see where people would say like with her at a bar not trying to pull off like, no. If you said, I hooked up with her at the bar, then I'd be like, all right? Well, you would do it was more than just making. Yeah, you're like going into a bathroom. Oh, you hooked up with a Barbie. Like some wild shit. I'm an author at the bars. Like, okay, I think the definition that I've come up with for a hookup is you did something that you wouldn't do in public. But that's like what you would make you make out in a bar. You would. So if let's say there's like some heavy petting going on if you're like all that Hooker. If you're like touching titties been Dickson shit like that's a hookup like you wouldn't do that at a bar let you wouldn't do that on. Yeah. You would if you're close like some people do that with close on at bars. I did. I'm saying got kicked out of the bar stout. You guys wanna know stout. It's like right by massive Square Garden. It's like very much you go before or after a game or a concert or whatever. And it started out as like a regular make out and then we were both like wasted. And it kind of progress. It wasn't a kick. It was like a polite kicked out though. Bouncer like tap me on the shoulder. And it was like you guys go. You gotta go go home. He was also like, oh, you should go home. You like the deal. You know, you're on the one yard line go, right? Can't do in my board though. Understood fair. Definitely, okay. Final. Berg said if it becomes horizontal. So it's like if you're if you're making us Dan bar, but making no, but if you're like hooking up if you're making out in a bed, then that's that's a hookup. I think close to come on. That's fine not gonna sex not getting close off. Well, okay. Yes. I'm like, we're not talking about sex, obviously, if you have sex you hooked up. I'm like. I don't know Mr. that hasn't AJ's toy up your ass too. Yeah. But like, you you like electrocuted. No. But like you something has to not be dressed if you're having sex even with your clothes on like something like you can't just like be standing here in both. You have gene you could you could finger blast the Schick while she still has her pants. I'm so if you're in a bar, and there's there's penetration of any sort are you calling on hookup. Yes. Finger pena's. Yes. Okay. That I would agree with that. But that kind of like you can do that with your clothes on. So there aren't you can't have like a blanket rule about close or standing up or sitting. Now, you have sex standing up because if sex Clark. The I think the main. I think it almost falls like on the girl more on earth. That's sexist of me. But it's like, I, you know, guys like gallium of Kyo hookup here hook up there. One of her. You know, I almost think it's like is if the girl is going back to her friends saying like, I got a story to tell or something like that which is still very vague. But I feel like then it's crossed over into like that was an agreed upon hook. Oh, that was bent that occurred. I feel like if you say to somebody just in general at our ages, I hooked up with somebody. They assume that you had sex with them. See that's where I disagree like if somebody came up to my desk and was like y'all I hooked up with her. I'd be like. Yeah. Yeah. I would say like if somebody was a guy messed around with her, then I'm like, okay. They do like the catch all of fold around. I fooled around her. Like if someone came to me and said, I hooked up with so. And so I'd be like did you guys fuck to ask the question with him? All right. Sit here and say that you'd be like. Yeah. So yes, if you said hooked up with someone what you do when we're talking in this office. Yes. Because you can say whatever the fuck you want here, and nobody cares in real life. You can't walk up to your friend at work and be like Yoda to fuck somebody. You just can't like here. You can't if you can't in like corporate office you like or don't even that like I feel like if you say hookup. It's like the more PC way of saying it had sex and sex, including all sorts of oral sex whenever no, no. So someone can if I say I hoped up with and she blew me that doesn't count that. No that count. Okay. But I'm saying like, I wouldn't I if somebody says I hooked up with her. I assume that they met full blown. We could have maybe had a baby six. Okay. But I almost think that there are times where I think it's like if she went down on you. It's like crazier. Yeah. I think it's a lot easier to just get horizontal real quick where it's like not put it in her mouth like. Some girls will straight up say like I like all fuck you. But I won't blow you I can't tell Giles step higher than Senator girl much made waves. I said on KABC radio, but say this sounds like a KFC radio if you that blowing guys should be considered for your number. The girls reaction. We're like the full. Mike. Well, somebody's talked a lot. Why would that not be considered? If you're talking about your number. Meaning this is my sexual history. We're going to say that the Dick's that were in your mouth don't count in. My book is a guy. I want to know that number more that I want to know the right and starts to like that. It's a horrible thing girls. There's been girl like that is such a shitty. Take if I if I were to date a girl, and she's like, all right? I gotta tell you something like, I hooked up with one of your friends like please just tell me a fucked them if you know, I don't want for my friends. Dick was I would rather my girls. Magistrate. That is if you met a girl, and she was like, I'm like, what's your number? She's like out one had sex with one guy, and she was like, yeah. But I blew v. You're kidding me. Is so much worse. Oh, no. I've only fifty Dick's. I've only had one guy such. I would rather date a girl that has banged five. Do. No, no. I'd rather date a girl that has blown five dudes and fucked one hundred and vice versa thousand and that's not even a debate. No, it's really not stupid. But it's not the girls. I mean, they there was I got that too. Like a thousand times in case you were like, this is a bad fucking idea. Stop putting out there. Right. And if a girl if a girl blows a guy, it's just so much more ends of bullshit deleted. And it's like, yeah. Especially if it's a good one. Yeah. One hundred percents. Yeah. Where's that load going to know the things you need to know to? I mean, it's a no that I need to know you should. Break Jared on KFC radio unless you guys dive into that. I don't wanna hear him talking. I don't wanna either. But hit a break. We'll be come back. We'll take your calls. You got any thoughts on the matter when we get back talking about thanksgiving? Where are you going to be what are you going to eat? What do you want? What something like thirty six? What does that? Anyway, something like thirty six include me. I'm thirty seven. Thirty seven my girlfriend some thirty seven Dicks in a row. And we're back. A spirited debate here on Clancy, and the rockets one that there will never be an agreement between the males and females in the world. So we'll just let it be. And you know, it's actually better for everyone because numbers numbers would skyrocket. And you don't want the girls number skyrocketing. You don't wanna have to have that thought. You want to know? I don't. No ranch. Boy, I don't want to know a number. But I do wanna know like key names. Like, I here's the thing. Right. That's fair. Like if I like high, hi lights or lowlights highlight. So if it can affect your everyday like relationship, here's my yes. For me. Specifically me personally Boston is a small town small city. So if you date an attractive, girl, there's a seventy five to ninety percent chance to get fucked an athlete or somebody at barstool. It's gets I wanna know those names because it's like if I bring you to like an event or I inch. It's like I don't wanna be the guy that everyone in the office is talk. Hey member. So and so fucking this girl and say, I don't know. But they know like, I don't think you should you should there should be disclosure. And then you decide whether you're okay with it or. Yeah. Don't tell me the number. Just tell me who I need to be aware Tyler. Yeah. Think about this Napoli and gas like do I wanted to know that's probably not not in the guards. No. But you're never gonna get a straight answer on that either. Well, then I just date you. Vince is on the line. What do you Vincent? Fantastic. Gervis Casey quite a bit. Gotta say twenty years ago girlfriend. I've been dating two years break up with three months all fair. Right. No big deal. We get back together with one person. Earth question. I asked was did you blow him? So I don't know. Out of the way, it is. It is really much more. I mean. I mean. Oh, my bet I hung up and sorry. Fuck dude. It's like whatever like that's going to happen. If you Blohm it's like you whore. Up believe you did that to me. No shame. There's no slut shaming. But there is reality. We're talking about like significant others like, yeah. Like, I was tonight is only a natural reaction ain't fair. Ain't right. I'm just saying that is a true real reaction. Yeah. Girls if you want the real fucking deal, I'll tell you that's going to be deep in your man's brain sex. Like, no doubts that you don't have to like it. But that is the truth. I dare I go this far and say like if I were to think about it last thing that I wanna think about you blowing a dude like, I can think about you getting absolutely rail. That'd be like, you know, what dude whatever. But picture you blow and some dude like I this is my children. So I'm taking my kids, and we're leaving this this. That's right. Yeah. I have nothing else to say, what are you get out of that? It's like if at least if you're saying like, you're getting pleasure on that. You're just sucking his dick. And it's like you have to really want your you don't want to you want to please him. Which you guys saw his face. Please you bring a girl home for thanksgiving rocket. And it's like, oh, yeah. That girls blown a bunch of guys that ain't that ain't thanksgiving material. No. You don't wanna bring our own to their. No. By the way, we do these things. It's wild that your mom listens. While what she needs to know this too as wild anybody is. No, I stand. What am I here? One hundred kids someday Ellen these this is what the gauntlet that. My future wife has okay, I respect you so much letting that go. I don't know if I could do it. You are the best. I think she knows like I. Ios down for sure act for radio. I preach this in the corrobos household on Christmas Eve, I stand up on the table on. Let's have you ever gonna have grand kids. This is your future got her last go through she's got a check all these bucks. Jesus. What a what a thanksgiving conversation. How is thanksgiving? How does that go at the corrobos household was big deal? No, chris. I mean, thanksgiving Christmas Eve is like all the big to do with like everyone coming together. Thanks. What does corrobos? It's a talent talion. Yeah. I guess Caraba. Will fuck it seven fishes and that nonsense. No, no. We just do like we do like some pasta. We do do like the Turkey. But then we do like the raviolis the meatballs. Oh, cool goal. We do all that shit. Thanksgiving is kind of low key. It's like me my sister. My parents. My God parents which is my dad's sister and her husband and their two kids. Your aunt aunt aunt. I don't do aunt fine. But it's dad's sister, my dad's said, we don't have to go through the whole godparent thing. It's just your man. Yeah. So it's just like them. That's it. And then afterwards everyone goes outside and plays baseball. Like instead of reaction. Did you see that? We were big wiffle ball family. Yeah. I'm going three different places and I'm going to Boston. And then on thanksgiving morning. I'm flying to Saint Louis C. My grandmother who I haven't seen him forever. I'll be there for like eighteen hours. And then I'm flying to Ohio Columbus, Ohio for the Ohio State. Michigan game you on your grind girl. Yeah. We have this show from the state Michigan game, which is at noon on Saturday. Which means the show is live from a frat house at ten AM body. I'm just talk about people get addicted to the. It's going to be. To say that is a tall task right there. Yeah. But it'll be it'll be a good week by a couple a couple years ago. Maybe last year. I mean, we might have been Christmas thanksgiving. I'm not sure I did like every I did my side. I did my wife's mom. Clip. I'm gonna give you this microphone. Did. I talk out of turn you like rubbing tugs, right? And kept going to say, no. Yeah. Yeah. Choice. I have had a bad experience on my last one. I'm kind of done every time it happened. Yeah. I was in like flushing? Okay. Four AM. You're in all my friends route. And we went to one it was probably like three or four. Yeah. And you know, the hog is is right. Yeah. So they go to white sauce back. It's the night. I paid the guy twenty dollars for a full bag of white sauce. And I've forgotten the rub and tug. So I have a back since that's that's all right. It was just a very very weird place in general. There was like a whole car guys right outside. You could see it on the security camera. There was like Hello kitty wallpaper everywhere airplane, the frozen. Let it go song on repeat. It was. It was a weird experience. I would be enough for me to ever tired. Oh, wow. Unless I'm north of the border in Montreal. And it's all about. Yeah. All right, go any balls is retired from getting his dick jerk off massage parlor. And that's like one of the first times. I've talked to Glenn. He was when he was in Montreal and I- message him Snapchat. It'd be like, oh, you gotta go to. I forget what the name of it was. But there was like an all context strip club in Montreal. Tampa and Montreal anything goes in. That's right. That you wanna talk about like rules. Like, what's what's what's allowed? What's hook up? Like everyone. Does that was the second time that I realized that Adderall makes my dick completely inactive. It was like a full contact strip club in Montreal. And I was like this thing is doing nothing, which is probably like listen, girl. You're great your toes are awesome. Beautiful fall. You're doing sweetie. I'm on I'm on on that Adderall right now. So we're going to have. Yeah. And then the other time was after the Cassie radio show, which sucks I mean that was that was the first time ever took Adderall is after the after party. It was because I was an event because you did two shows. Yeah. So the Friday show Friday show was an awesome time killed at the after party had great time was like making some chicken a car people like walking by and I was like dude could be just like sticking a camera in the winner right now. Just getting video of this happening is we're probably word. Yeah. It's great first night. And then the second night, I was beat. So I was like I need something. Yeah. So someone gave me an Adderall and dictum work done night. I mean, that's the price. You pay sell your soul for another night of partying, whatever that was a man. Ouch watson. I was awesome. I'm a rig showed up rigs was like pulling girls left. And right. I remember being like. What what you guys are all the ones get off? This is crazy. Vice like went home with his friends. I went onto the hotel just like but racist buying people losers. We were the biggest losers there. And we I mean, we just go. You're welcome. That's hit a break when we come back. Eight three three eight five stool, call us up. More thanksgiving talk after the break. All right. We're back. It's the last episode of the week serious is off so shout out to those guys have a thanksgiving to them. They're the ones who make all this happen. Forget that. Sometimes I'm just like why kale? Why is it this on the air all the time? Well, it takes like humans to make sure it actually goes out there through serious. What's that lovey, Syria? Absolutely bigshot serious. So I'm sure Mike either doing what best reruns or whatnot. Yeah. There's a full schedule. So you'll still be able to listen we're going to have a best of running our spot like podcast. We can have a best for show that's been around for sixty Abraham as good as us. Every episode is about ten hours last week was the best of true. I mean, like this show today is been awesome frill like a mail it in type day for maybe. That's right. Let me Sean Kelly copters. So we talked a little football earlier, which is my girl Casey's forte. So I figured it's only right here on our holiday to give Jarrett's and baseball time. Yeah, I'd like to talk some to if you don't mind I'd love for you to do that. James paxton. Yeah. Thirty one years old three and a half. Yari turning thirty one this season. I think he just turned thirty like, oh, I was under the impression find third birthdays three and a half three sixty IRA. Whatever you're a fucking loser. Loser. Good pitcher, these good. Yeah. Like, I mean, he didn't they didn't go get a Cy Young and tender Lil he I think he threw one hundred sixty one and a third innings. This year, which is not I mean, like young award winners. I don't even think that that doesn't call. No, yeah. Qualified talking to Hondo. Have to be. And you know, like thirty thirty is not old. But no, that's not young at all. You know, you're getting somebody. All right. If you sign a free agent pitcher, I would say the average age of a pitcher once they get the free agency is roughly thirty think of it. Think of it as like signing Paxton to a two year deal, which would you think of it like that by no means knocking get I am one of these people who forever have thought Brian Cashman's fucking incredible. And I my entire childhood. I watched Yankee fans constantly put him down constantly belittle everything he did. And I'm sitting across town going. I'll fucking play all the playoffs. Ninety five years in a row. So I am always onboard Cashman, and I feel like he always makes something on and often. And I feel like if he makes a move. He's one of those guys that it's like, well, it's probably more often than not going to work out. So I bet you the Paxton is good, and it'll be fine. But I am stunned after how much I heard about the mighty Justice Sheffield that this was the hall at thirty thirty turning thirty one year old pitcher who's very good not not to not to brag. But when I was sitting directly behind home plate in the first row. Sheffield was pitching and that motherfucker through like three fastballs to the screen like he was like aiming for my face watching guys. Thanks. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. And I know I know that fans are often very misinformed or incorrect or hype up prospects. No, no more. So than the Mets fans. I mean last village Fernando, Martinez Gomez, and Alex Escobar generation k and all the I mean, the list goes on and on and on we're the most guilty of at all. But I just was stunned that the hall back for this, dude. I used to hear his name with all of the other like ultra elite prospects in baseball. When is Justice coming. He's not I I wonder how much of that. I've only ever heard his name before he made his major league debut through hubs. But like hubs is one of those guys where he immediately is like well taxes greater Schofield progressive later. But hubs is one of those guys where if a player acknowledges him, then they're the best like, I think, so are you? I mean, my my best friend almost one the fucking triple crown. So when I talk about a guy, it's like, yeah. Yeah. We're friends. I mean, also the best center in base went through some dark times with David price and how he ended up recording your foot world. Yeah. My friends are actually good at baseball, pick your friends wisely. There's a reason why I'm not friends with San nobody is guilty of that than the four playboys. If a golfer acknowledges rigs. Yeah. You can murder his family big. Well, Bryson Dijon he taught us not one time. But Kevin Kisner is bad ass though. Have you ever talked to Kevin Kisner, I haven't. But I know I I've seen his antics just get shit faced. He's a good time. Good southern voice. I say behind that one. Like, my even the friends that I have that aren't on the Red Sox like my friend, Christian yelich nationally, giving p maybe you've heard of that award. How are we gonna get them on the fuck around here? Yelich after the holiday. Yeah. Call up. Yeah. We already said he said he come on. He's gotta he's gotta do his shit. Where that's why system that's one of the best things about barstool is like you get these athletes when they do their media tours. They're saying all the same shea come here. You could be last on the list. And it's like, we still you better than the first for sure. So we'll talk to him. And we'll see what happens with Paxton like I said, I do believe in in in in Cashman. I think the past few years once he groove with some homegrown people. People started to give him credit again for the longest time every single off seat. Cashman was on the chopping block. According to the fans, well, they're at every caller every everything, of course. But everyone's like, oh, you're generalizing. I'm like, well, generally, you people are fucking idiot. Goumba annoying assholes. Speaking. But that's what makes radio callers, so fun. I know that the best though it Paxton it's like he's on a contract for the next two years in their arbitration years. He's it's a savvy Picco he'll get he'll get paid. But he won't get monster money. So now, the Yankees have Severino. Paxton, and then they still have the financial flexibility to go get like Corbin. Yeah. It'd be the Red Sox. Let me know what? It'd be the Red Sox. What he's ankle for Jared for you guys know, I mean, I actually no I actually am because I think like I love doing the ACA I love working with Dan. But it was we saw the top story. Yeah. It was. But it was a blow job. It was always it was always going to be dance show. I knew that he knew that. So now, I'm very thankful for the opportunity to be on a show where it's like, oh, I can I can I can spread my wings. I can spend my way tonight. Casey. I mean, I was going to say for this radio show. And the fact that I can sit here and drink beer with you, find gentlemen and say fuck a bunch of times. That's always a good thing is well make it three for three. Well, I used to work with Dave Portnoy needed to stop doing that. Yeah. Sure. I used to work till six pm needed to stop doing that. And and I it's it's a lot more fun, and relaxing and. Easy to do. You're one two three. So we don't we'll never something to talk about. We got a good. Good reaction so far. Yeah. I. Maybe we'll call them the rock cats. Oh, yeah. I really do think that we need to get these beers. Like all the time all the time with our faces on them or something rocket beard, spent sponsor the show town. Check out. The check get the budget going. New York for thanksgiving. I will be I'll be around local. So your is. Your eyes. We should've talked about parades upgrades on Monday. All right. Have a good thanksgiving checks. The office up next to see guys on Monday.
Aired 3 months ago 31:19
Blake Shelton, Ariana Grande, Eddie Redmayne and Leah Remini
Hi, it's Ellen Degeneres. Welcome to my podcast. We're gonna listen to some of the best moments from the show, and it's going to be hosted by four executive producers that I love happy listening on today's episode of Ellen on the go. Blake Shelton becomes a pitch man for leopard print speed Ohs. Andy officially joins the LA Rams cheerleading squad, Arianna 'Grande premieres for the first time on television. Her new song. Thank you next. Eddie read main talks about the exhaustion of being a new dad and Leah Remmy. Takes her mother to Chippendales welcome to Ellen on the go. I'm Mary Connolly. I'm Kevin Leman. I'm Ed glavin. And this is exciting. This is great. And he's not here. And he's not in the only outside the door. Start without he's just outside the door trying to order a Neiman, Marcus card or is wife, first wife, and so he's he's working on that. He he was like you can start the podcast, and I can make an entrance or we can just you can wait. And so we've decided that we're going to start the podcast, and then we also might not announce his entrance. But you'll know any gets here. It seems like while he's out of the room. We should really get some of this out of the way. Oh now. Now joined by average, Andy. Awesome. Andy. Thank you. Start doing is making an entrance to my podcast. I'll let you guys a little small talk. And then not you're not. But he's average in every way, not your own podcast. What are we? What we have on the show today when you. When you lend print song. So that we could do a little what's that kind of pitch. Improv improv. We're going to prom prov. Yes. Brought in that. Yeah. And you said twenty you guys want you can use this one this winter this one, and we had our choice chose we wear briefs by Lululemon extra Smalls the Louis yet. Idiot with the control top. So I really enjoy Blake Shelton. Yes, Andy brought any and he has a little leopard Speedo and. And then we play this game called pitch, please. Where the guest does not know what they are selling, but they have to sell it to Ellen. Yes. And it's one knows what it is. And ask questions. I'm always not sure that I wanna play it. Right. Always love it. I know you. Well, you're right earn you know. Which is to say, not a writer, and he and Alan have this fun relationship. I mean, the she has given him so much stuff for being the people's sexiest man alive. Yeah. And and he's such a good sport about he's just a good, dude. I think he's always sort of a little fish out of water. Like, he's just always a little uncomfortable with the situation that he's in any as no problem telling you that explaining why and having a good sense of humor about it. Here's how that game works the former sexiest man alive, Blake Shelton for a couple of film. This is in cases, a rerun every. You have to sell yourself to someone get go on your team. So we thought you're so good at selling yourself. You know that whole thing with that. So we thought you can sell anything. So we're going to play a game. It's called pitch. Please. All right. We're gonna. We're gonna you're gonna try to sell a product like they do on QVC. You won't know what it is. But the audience will. All right. Awkward already. All right. The first question is how much would you pay for something? Like this. Fifteen dollars fifteen dollars. So so it's not as expensive as I thought it would be I thought that would be more expensive. All right and one other celebrities besides yourself would would enjoy something like this. Oh my God. What would Mariah? Would would. Would Betty white like it. Yeah. You know, what the hell with it and Brittany spears? Go for you would wear it for any occasion. Or what what's are just a special occasion or through? Formal buck. What is this? You're doing today. All right. So do you think there's enough room for you is? Is. I put everything in. Won't be sure I understood the question. Enough room to put everything in. Yeah. The product that you're selling to put everything in it. And the product that you're selling. Yes. All right. And how often would you wash it? You don't you? Don't want to destroy Inc. Makes sense. What I said made sense to whatever this thing. Your product lake. I would say, you know, you would use it a couple of times. Okay. Let's see his face when you you're in the mirror and this product, you're still doing the. You're wearing the product you look in the mirror. What's to face that you have on? When you see yourself. Fonzie when he did. Are there safety precautions before? Before using it are there safety precautions. Of course, I would they be one of the cautions. You know, you wouldn't want to put it near an open flame. Yeah. You're right. They be God's name thing. Well, let's see what you've been selling. You can come around and look. Nope. Now. This is the worst game. Win anything. But we all enjoyed it. Mealtime is a challenge for busy families. 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Fifty dollars off your first box. Go to our special URL now, gobble dot com slash Ellen. And get fifty dollars off. That's gobbled dot com slash Ellen. Should we talk about Andy as an LA Rams cheerleader? Yes. It is such a. You know this. I actually felt freer Indian this win. Thanks. He seemed to truly be in a flat out panik not doing it. It was because of the crowd size at what it is. It's just a different situation about the dancing. Like dancing. You know, if I'm swimming against Michael Phelps? Yeah. My crew is they're his wife and his your crew. Your crew the crew of the show we've really created a month. We have crew. I mean the crew. In other words, I'm used to doing it for a small group of people right to then go out and perform for seventy two thousand I also will admit that. I didn't realize that people attend football games. I understood that I didn't realize that these cheerleaders were going to do their thing. No matter what. And that. I couldn't really screw it thought. They were going to be following you. I don't know. I just want to ruin it for them. Right. I understand they're very excited. So so you had no idea what you're going to be wearing until. Yes. Which is also nerve wracking because no one had fit me for it. And you know, I say, I'm always a medium, but some days, I need large and nothing is spandex. I didn't feel good the second. We saw Kevin texted me and said, nice boobs. And so my gosh, just hard. So we have a we have a segment on our show called average, Andy. Yes. And we decided to send Andy to the LA Rams to perform with the cheerleading squad because a couple of teams I believe the New Orleans Saints and the LA Rams this year have added males to their cheerleading squad. And we thought that's a perfect opportunity for an average Andy. And if you haven't seen the piece it is still on your DVR, and you have to watch it. Yeah. You think it'll fill up a lot happier. If this was much turn out. So this is my daughter Aaron who came with me today, I begged her all day yesterday. I said we have to rehearse the dance. She was waiting. She made no plans to whole day. And I just kept pushing it off out of nerves, and I never ended up rehearsing. She knows the entire dams. What what's I guess? It's all in here. All right. Yeah. No. I feel great about myself. How unflattering is it? Oh my God. You've been like see stuff. I don't know how to what to do. How do you hide it? God, this is all I have to worry about. Now is my Weiner. Here's what's amazing about anti. I'll just say this is does already on manageable. Co host to say something. Mike crew my podcast. Yeah. What's amazing about him? Is he really actually works at the performances. Yeah. He really does Chievo some version of success in the performance, and he's also completely aware of how ridiculous it all is. And that makes it really fun to watch. I enjoyed in. Kevin you and I talked about this. I enjoyed air last nerve making pirates daughter. We've we've watched her grow up she and she's an amazing dancer. She's been an amazing dancer for years and she really wants to tape because they sent me a tape after the rehearsal. She but she wasn't afterwards. While she watched it for five minutes. She knew the entire thing. Yeah. Like, that's the thing. I don't get is. I don't understand you know, how it comes naturally to something. You're you're actually not a dancer. I'm not a dancer, but even people who aren't dancers somehow were able to follow someone get it. Judge Judy said it best Jews aren't built for built for adventure. Are you keep sending me out on adventure? In terms of not being built for what are you built for? It's anxiety and nausea anxiety and a snack. I do love pastry average. Andy was started idea from one of our very time writers named Troy who's obsessed with two things getting a hug from Ellen. And you every one of his pitches revolves around. I know I didn't know either of those things about Troy he's never gonna hook from. No, he actually did one time. But he's still talks about it. Oh my God. Wow. Are you looking for beautiful well-crafted fracture with Scandinavian simplicity? Look, no further article is an online only furniture company that by eliminating the layers of fish, no retail is able to keep prices low quality high. There's no showrooms no sales people just savings article is serious about shipping. No matter how many items every order ship for a flat rate of forty nine bucks needs. Some help getting set up article has options for interim delivery and assembly assistance in stock items can be expected in two weeks or less article is all about the customer coming first with a thirty day return policy. That's honestly, the best customer service in the business. Article is offering our listeners fifty dollars off their first purchase of one hundred dollars or more visit article dot com slash Ellen. That's all it takes go to article dot com slash Ellen. And the discount will be automatically applied at your check out. That's article dot com slash Ellen to get fifty dollars off your purchase of. One hundred dollars right now. Here's Leah revenue. Talking about taking her mom to see the Chippendales. It's that's perfect. Your mom is is housing. Mom doing. She's hilarious. She's every new took her to the Chippendales review. Because Tony ideas with on dancing with the stars was hosting it. And so it was like, oh that'll be a fun girls trip to go to Chippendales. Well, we didn't get sued. That's the good news. Because of my mother, she's very Hansi. Yes. I would imagine. So she believes that people should should touch people. And she was grabbing a lot of crotches. No. Yeah. No, really crotch. You know, these are lovely men. You know, they didn't sue us. Thank god. But you know, she just had this idea. Well, they don't have their shirt on. Why not? You know, you if you've ever been to a strip club, which I have you don't there are rules? You know, you don't. No, you don't touch it. You know? Right. No. You just put the money right in the ideal your hands at your side. You know, that you don't know, you don't know. You don't do that. No rules. Right. Well, what was your first time? No. He had a great time. She had a great. I bet. She did your mom is hilarious teller. I say, hi. I will. All right. Let's talk about second. Yeah. First of all you and Jennifer because yellow friends are great together. I mean that must be that's not work. That's fun. It is fun. And you're right. But sometimes, you know, working with friends is that it is not always easy. And sometimes when you have chemistry like with your significant other. It doesn't mean that you will have chemistry on screen. Right. So I was really really really happy. When you know, we we did our first day of shoot. A and it was just very easy felt like leeann, Jennifer. So so you slap her around in real life. Okay. What's funny about that? Is that I like the reason why love the idea of doing Jennifer's because I was going to do a lot of things that you know, was it on in the script that I was going to be able to kind of just province. So that seen I just said, I'm just gonna do some stuff to Jennifer did I do in real life to her like, I do that. Who's the champ thank to her? You know before the AMA's shit. As like on the chip, you know, she's just I I do it. Anyway, even though she doesn't like it. And so I did this. I did who's the chair, but she's like on the so what you're seeing is her really like this is the way she really era, and then I started to slap her and she cracked me right across the face of the end, you'll see like as as as a walk, actually. I got started. I fell to the ground in laughter. Ruined the Tate because she cracked me. So. It was it was so, and I did that a lot of them a lot of. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I would do that too. Yeah. I knew he'll keep cutting you off yet. It's too. It's too late. We're going to take a break. Like, it is active with me just step on all your stuff. That's why we're not doing a movie got it. The scares are so stressful. Yeah, they're so Ellen. Now has changed the game on the scare. She has like a different little code every time. And it scares the daylights out me. Yeah. I'm one hundred percent, sure. At one point. You actually Andy says what's the answer in the game? They're playing and I was like I can't look down remedy feel about being scared. Oh, I think she loved at one word for that episode is still on your DVR. You should they should want. You should watch the show because it's it's great ready. Yes. This is going to go to use my body that about. What is it? Look at it. Look at it. So there's two kinds of scares. We do one is the scare where Kevin is in a costume. And he comes around a corner somewhere and scares the daylights out of you the other is we put a Corey pound town exact in a box or table, right? He burst through the way. He knows to burst through is Ellen gives us Q and yell into corey's ear to go. That's how that's how it works. And it has to happen instantaneously Ellen wants the person to be looking way when she scares them. But it used to be I'm gonna grab my caller. Every time the clue was gonna grab my call. But then the today show like busted us on the today show noticed. So now, she changes it every time and the her cues are getting more subtle, right? I'm gonna cross my legs. Well, what if she crosses him twice like she's negative? Oh, it's terrifying. But the joy brings Ellen is so fantastic. Because it is someone's absolutely honest, pure reaction. So like, you can't be acting when you get scared. You have to just be yourself, and she loves seeing then people to really fun. Picking out presence is hard. And this is Kevin from Ellen on the go. It's important to support artists in developing countries. You can do good globally by shopping globe in a virtual international marketplace of handmade pieces, including blankets, jewelry, baskets and pottery you send a single gift or a subscription, it's an artisan box. That's thoughtfully curated and filled with items maybe artisans in remote areas, you can learn about the artists and see the difference. Your purchase makes prices vary. Global is the only fair trade certified subscription box company that empowers artisans around the world through job creation, fair wages. Their bestselling artisan boxes are filled with curious selections of handmade ethically produced homegoods. Beauty fines and wearable accessories. Customer favorites include handpainted mug from Tunisia knows glass holder from India pure argon oil from Morocco. Get thirty percent off your first month with any premium artisan box subscription when you go to globe in dot com slash box. And enter the coupon code Ellen. That's globe in dot com slash box. Coupon code Ellen g L O B. I N dot com slash box. Coupon code Ellen. Tell us about how area ground got booked on the show all of the sudden. Yeah. Oh my gosh. So we're all on our weekend Saturday afternoon, Saturday rank, yes. Yup. I got a text from Johnny. That said it looks like I might have Arianna ground day. We have a busy week. I believe we had already booked up the whole show like it was all everything was put to bed, and we had a musical performance. I was watching my kids play hockey night. Just got his ID when I saw it because I was like how are we gonna fit in? And then I thought I'm not gonna respond Ed handle. I knew we could fit it in. We had. It was tricky because on Monday we had Travis Scott do. Yeah. He was awesome epic performance. And then and then so we had to find a way to make Arianna work. We're not going to turn down. I ran aground wants to perform the song that she dropped a half hour before SNL went live about one of the SNL cast members this past. Yeah. And so then we Ellen and Saturday and Sunday, there's all kinds of stuff happening. They they hired Arianna. Grandes crew hired a wedding planner to build a wedding set, a frail wedding says was unbelievable. It was a crazy performance. Yeah. Those cool during the performance is pretty cool. She only did two passes of it. No prompter. Lot of words. No prompter in rehearsal. They only did two passes of it. And then during the actual pass with the audience she stumbled a little bit like she gets up on a chair at one point. You have to watch. It's on your DVR. Is you have to watch it on the show? Let's play a little clip of it. Let's here's a little thirty second clip of listen to the first verse of Arianna song. Thank you. She gets up on a chair, and she kind of falls a little bit and recovers laughs in the song with the two with two singers on with her finishes it and because we are not live. We say if you want you can do it again, we think it's kinda sweet and genuine moment fun. And I like I'm good each time in rehearsal when she stood on that chair. I was like why is she getting on the chair? She's got these incredibly high heeled boots on a rickety. A wedding chair. Yeah. But it was really sweet. And at the end of the song, she does a little Oma to her favorite movie, which was the first wives club. I do love the Harry Potter series. So much excited for this new one. I really do. Yes. I am I fell in love with the Harry Potter series. Reading them books to my daughter, and now like she's long since gone, she's second year of law school, and Kevin Ed still goes into a room at night and reads, I'm so caught up in like, I just think it's I just think it's amazing. And the reason these are so cool is because J K rolling created this world. And these are all people who were in this world. There's some of them are prequels or sequels or whatever. But like they're all still in that universe that I sort of fell in love with. So I know I'm familiar with them. And he Eddie read main plays a character called Newt Scamander. And and he's just he's a cool guy. He's really fun. Yeah. Like like quirky. And you're not sure how it's going to go when he walks out and yet, then he become he's brilliant. A new baby. Now, right. Baby. I love when people hear babies did another one. So how will the babies so is two and a half eight months? Luke name. Yeah. Is he sleeping? He's no I've been promoting people. Keep on what spell would you dream of doing? And I'm just a two hour sort of sort of sleep spell people suggestion. Yeah. Yeah. Debating. So all right. Let's talk about the movie. So this movie is. The cast has grown tremendous loves it has like my family. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So there's a lot Johnny Depp. Isn't it more? Now, he's been Greenville bold lowers playing Dumbledore. And that was. Stowed retreats in tell anyone is about. Film. Old and it's JK rolling movie and it set in world of Harry Potter on in this film. It's sort of combines all of those elements from the first film, and it's kind of merging now into the porta territory with we go back to Hogwarts, and I get to hang out with wondrous creatures which is what I like to do. But they're not there you have to pretend we have to pretend. All right. So the sets were enormous, right? The vast and that completely casing on this film. However, much that built that was one scene in which we had to walk down to the Seine the river Seine, and they just decided not to build stays all of that money. Spent we basically than doing all see I was walking around us news, and then sort of the. Basically. School one of those things by Chun spot because. Just before I was about to walk down be like. So yeah, that was a disaster. They had an enormous set. But they just didn't own steps. That's ridiculous. God we should give out. To our co EP Matt right? He produces game where Eddie had to lick. John of work. He puts in to find the exact right objects. He had a list of probably forty that went down to ten. Yeah. Then he takes me back to the table and wants to know the order, and it all works out. Perfectionist? Ed, you do love the Harry Potter series. In one year you dressed as a member of a member of the Harry Potter series for Halloween the staff all dresses up. Yes. And the EP don't usually dress up. Well, they stopped dressing up up up after this year, Kevin still dresses up. What what were you dressed as I was Dumbledore Ellis Dumbledore? Yeah. Very popular. Yes. Sort of Harry's. Harry's mentor. Yeah. Amazing. Good. The costume was awesome. You word into the morning briefing with Ellen. I did how'd that go. It couldn't have gone worse. She looks at me. She goes who are you supposed to be? I believe that was my last costume. Yeah. If is there a guest, I believe I know the answer to this. And I'm just gonna set you up for this a guest that we have not had on this show that you would most like to have on this show. That is connected to the Harry Potter series. Well, I'd like to have JK Rollings. That's really j k JK Rollings is awesome her backstory before she became like, a, you know, she she pushed she tried to sell. She pitched the Harry Potter books too. I don't know seven publishers eight like everyone turned her down finally one took her, and it's maybe the best selling series of books of all time, and she's on Twitter now, and she's very active, and she's just a bad ass. I just think she's amazing guys. I think we need to give a shout out to our favorite known or our favorite listeners or your friend Porsche to Rossi. Whose home recovering from getting thrown off a horse and hitting your head to the that. She was on his listen Ellen like his looks for a lot of support from us. But doesn't always give it back. And this thing is blowing up and is she she's threatened by the success. And you just purposely turn away from the mic when I'm sorry. Elliot's success. Also, he takes the focus off the Porsche. Oh, no shit laid up right now. I'm so sad. She fell off a horse who she loves. She loves throwing thrown thrown from a horse and landed on her head got a concussion, but it was very scary. I have a son who's had a couple of concussions, and so you can see the symptoms, and they they texted us that night the night that it happened. And I went right to Sean to talk to him about it. And based on what she was a Porsche was describing she was feeling bad concuss. Yeah. It's you know, we're now five six days out from it. But it was a it was a bad couple hearing loud sound. So hopefully, she's listening to this podcast, very low Ellen said Ellen said one of things things bother her. And Kevin said what kind of things in Allen say we'll like light and me. I was really funny. Yes. So we were. We love you. We read about you. We hope you feel embedded for your business needs. You your business general public needs. You I'd say get back on the horse. But I really don't want you to do that. Please. Please. Just tell your friends to listen to the podcast if you have free time portion the three other people who are listening to us right now. Podcast. And don't forget watch. Ellen Degeneres show, weekdays freedom more Ellen fund. That's true. Kevin forget to watch the Ellen show weekdays and one of the podcast listeners is going to win all of the twelve days of. What's that on the next Brian Porsche? I think friends and family are not eligible eligible, but I feel like everyday Porsche wins. Yeah. Scene where she lives. All right. Let's see you next week by everybody when we don't see see Thursday. Thank you guys. Could be.
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