17 Burst results for "Sarah Stewart Holland"
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms
"Leads into a question that has been heavy on my heart and my mind that I was excited to ask the two of you I know a lot of people are wondering this I know that your goal is to teach people how to graceful political conversations and that. Is Very much my nature my innate nature is to say, let's all be respectful. Let's have peaceful conversation but I have also heard people say particularly with this election that sometimes is there a point where something is just wrong and you need to stop with the soft grace filled and just say flat out that this is wrong. You understand what I'm asking how do you? Where do you draw the line there and how do you continue to have graceful conversations even in the face of that? We've been talking a lot lately about mothering as a good metaphor for citizenship. Can Tap that instinct where we say. I love you and absolutely not and sometimes those boundaries. Especially, you know if you are a member of oppressed minority, we are not and never will ask you to engage with someone who does not respect your fundamental humanity. That is the work of people in connection with that person in a more privileged group with more safety and resources to do that work on that person and so if you are a victim or you feel dehumanize, we are not asking you to do that like we are saying for the people who feel. Safe and feel protected and feel like they have privileged inside these faces making keep their own humanity intact than let's let's work with grace on these people and you know I wish there was an easy like sort of math equation I could give people to know when we're talking about that and I don't have one. We just have to fill it out but I think you Kinda as we go but I think as caregivers. So many of us understand how to walk that line yes. Beth what are your thoughts on that? Well, I think that mothering is a good metaphor and in relationships where we feel like we can't mother, we can sister. We can say things like this is not who I know you to be I don't understand what you're saying right now..
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms
"Dive into this timely conversation with Sarah Stewart Holland and Beth silvers. Here we go Beth and Sarah welcomed three and thirty, and he's having this conversation is so needed right now as I mentioned in that introduction I think so many of us are seeing so many polarizing divisive things in the media and on facebook and we. Just WanNa shy away from the conversations altogether because they feel so heated and so today you're going to teach us how to have these conversations with grace. But before we even launch into your takeaways, I wanted to ask you why do you think it's worth the effort to even have these conversations why not just hide and never talked to anybody about politics? Lear introduction was such a beautiful example of that I love how you described this exchange that could have gone very badly and sowed seeds for so much resentment in a friendship that means something to you as a connective moment and Sarah and I know from our own experience having these conversations over hours and hours. Now over years with each other that it is connected because you aren't just talking about politics. When you talk politics, you're talking about your values talking about how you WanNa live in. Community with other people were kind of country. You want this to be kind of world. Do you want to create for your children and why not have that kind of discussion? Well, and if we all went to live on facebook if we want to just let it continue down the path to where every conversation our entire civic life looks like a facebook thread. Then we can keep doing what we're doing I. Do not want that I do not want that for myself and I do not want. That for my children I, do not want that for my worst enemies. So I think that we can see how this can play out and how we can continue to move away from each other and we can continue to use technology to keep us separated instead of saying exactly what you're. Let's take this off line I want to know more yes and connect in real life with one another. Yes a man and it's hard I feel like especially with our family and our very closest friends. Because I think it's easy for me to accept when people that I don't know that well, or they're just kind of acquaintances have different political opinions than I do. But when it comes to those people that are closest to me because it is tied to my values, it feels so much more personal where I'm like, how can someone that I love this much who I know is a good person see the world this way, and so that's where the heat comes because you care about these people. But that's when you just gotTa take deep breath and realize that just because somebody believes differently doesn't mean they're a villain and you've really given me some great tools that I'm excited for you to introduce to the community today. Well, let's start with our first takeaway, which is amplified so much by the story that you shared at the beginning. Rachel, and that is that we all need to take our jerseys off. This doesn't mean that you don't identify with a party it doesn't mean that parties. Are Bad. It doesn't mean that you can't get really excited about party in its candidates. It does mean that we have to unhook our identity from the political parties so that we're able to show up as whole human beings in these conversations because when we decide I am a Republican or I am a Democrat, we don't make space for us to also be MOMS sister's friend's daughters. We could so many messages from listeners that are about their DADS and struggling and political conversations with their DADS..
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms
"Sure that you know that I will be teaching for free online classes about podcasting this month to anyone who's interested in starting a podcast or growing A. podcast that you already have. I'm hosting these classes with my dear friend and fellow podcasters Monica Packer as part of our online school for all things podcasting podcast university Monica and I both started our podcasts a stay at home moms with no social media marketing or business background, and we are passionate about helping other busy moms like us start and grow impactful podcasts the world need your voice and your message. So if you've ever considered starting a show of your own or if you have a show, but.
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on Good Kids: How Not to Raise an A**hole
"Kids will bring you. Things not related to their experience to just random. What does this mean? I remember pretty vividly the first time James just piped up from the back seat of our car I think she was in kindergarten and said what are taxes and we talked about. How taxes are money that we pay to help pay for her school and the road that we're driving on and the firefighters that we saw at an event earlier that week and you know just trying to put it again in terms that she could really relate to and also not not interrogate her on where the question came from just what our taxes cooled normal question. Let's discuss We'll because I think these conversations with our kids about politics are not the only place they're having conversations about politics in our government. They are absolutely talking to each other about these topics. North Korea was like a super hot trending topic at my child's Elementary School for several months. They talked about it constantly. In my and my eldest son in particular we come home with questions and so just acknowledging that they absorb this stuff among their peers among other adults in their sort of out in community settings. And just knowing that it's GonNa come your way and to take it one conversation at a time and know that you can say. I don't know that you can affirm scary feelings and that how your children feel when they leave. The conversation is just as important as what they learn. I think one of the best examples that you can set in a conversation like North Korea to is to look something up together Let's find where this is on the map? You know any question they have that you don't know the answer to teaching them how to find. Good information is better than any policy position. I think that you can convey like. Let's let's admit what we don't know let's be curious about what the answer is instead of just leaving it there and then let's think through. Okay where could we go to find something helpful about this from a source that we trust what we really want to do in these conversations is empower our kids not just to talk politics but go out and be involved in the wider world? And that's always what I try to keep in mind if I can welcome them into the conversation if I can invite them to think about these things and decide what's important to them and what they care about then. I truly hope as they get older. The next step is we can talk about. Okay what do you want to do about this? Is there anything that you really care about that? You want to work on Community service projects voting getting out and registering other people to vote running for office. One day I wanNA see them take part in this process take part in our democracy and so making it a constant presence in our home especially because I ran for office and served in our local city commission so my kids saw Sort of the impact of that decision and how local politics can really affect your life. I want that to be a constant stream of understanding a constant source of conversation. A thing that empowers has to go out and do community service projects or participate in political marches. Which I've done with my kids. So that as they grow up they can decide and they see this sort of wide range of opportunities and options to go out there and participate in the world. I think it's really important to start early. Developing both in yourself in your kids at capacity for tension to that some of these questions are really hard and sometimes there isn't a clear cut answer and you have to pick the best thing that you can when it's election time between two options. That both seem acceptable. This comes up for us in our house around. Abortion says there. I know we both have the experience of kid coming home from school around the two thousand sixteen election saying I heard Hillary Clinton likes to kill babies and so we had to have the abortion conversation a little earlier than I might have preferred but I tried to just roll with it like everything else. Absolutely you can ask me about this. I will tell you the truth and so I told my daughter that I think this is really hard because I totally understand why people are uncomfortable with the idea of not having a baby. When you're pregnant those were the words that I use. You know you have the baby in your belly and you decide that you're not going to birth. The baby and so a doctor does a procedure to stop the baby's heartbeat and we talked about that. My daughter was like yeah. That's that is really tough. We also talked about how important it is to be able to make decisions about your own body and to think through those decisions with your doctor and your family and how both of those things make sense and we have to really think about which one we value more in a democracy and so learning early on that we don't have to make the other person the enemy we can try to understand everybody's coming from and then put our values to it to decide where we stand. I think is an important.
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on Good Kids: How Not to Raise an A**hole
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"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on Good Kids: How Not to Raise an A**hole
"As a child a little shutdown with certain family members when I wanted to talk about quote unquote adult topics like politics. The family members who welcomed my questions. Who invited me into the conversation? Who would talk politics with my little seven year? Old Self are still beloved. Still hold special places in my heart because they treated me as if my opinions mattered that my questions were important. And that is the most important thing that I want my children to get from our conversations about politics in the news. Which is you are welcome and this conversation and your ideas and your perspective and your questions are really important to me because ultimately and this is something we talk about all the time. Politics is not this separate container. It is part of life. It is how we live in community with other people. It's a way that we express our values so we shouldn't treat that differently than any other complex thing that we would talk to our kids about and I really believe that my daughters will remember more about how I answered their questions than what I actually said in response on any specific issue so just making them feel comfortable. Welcome needed in the conversation. I think is the most important work I can do as a parent now where we differ is. I am not opposed to indoctrinating my children. I feel like politics is just a reflection of our values in so I will vary unabashedly. Share my opinions political perspectives with my children. I'm not trying to stay neutral. I WanNa hear how they think and I definitely ask them well. What do you think about this but I do not shy away from sort of sharing In very passionate terms how I feel about certain political issues and I am really committed to making sure that my kids have room for their own opinions if they differ from mine so I will share my opinion but I like for them to Ascot my eight year. Old Daughter is really good about posing interesting questions. And then we'll talk about sort of the spectrum of beliefs people have about those topics and then if she says what do you think mom? I'll tell her but usually I say what do you think I? I just want her to find her own voice. I don't know that I had a lot of encouragement to come up with my own decisions about political topics from adults in my life. We didn't talk about this stuff a whole lot in my house. We talked about the news but not about politics but at school I feel like I was always sort of presented with here are the options and they are just two of them and they are quite narrow. Which do you choose and I find that. My daughter says such interesting things that might not fit in knows parameters if. I don't pull her down that path so in our book. I think you're wrong but I'm listening. A guy disgraceful political conversations. We walk adults through the lessons. We've learned by having hard conversations with each other on our podcast pantsuit politics but we really think many of these ideas apply when having hard conversations with your kids as well and one of the first steps that we think is essential is working on yourself first and that means really thinking through your own values your own policy positions and being able to admit that you maybe don't know the answer or it may be that you have a very specific perspective when you start talking about these things with your kids. I think this is especially important when we're talking about really scary. Things kids like climate change and school shootings. Because we talk a lot about separating your emotions from your values from your policy positions those are all distinct things and it's really important especially when you're talking to kids to explicitly name and affirm emotions to say that is scary isn't it. There's this television commercial. My daughter has seen several times and it's about climate change in. It really makes her nervous. It's fires and wins and there's a Su- NAMI in it and it makes her agitated and I always say like you. We should feel agitated about this. This is scary and I think that's step one. It's just not step one through fifteen right. It's step one and then we say okay. What values do we bring to the conversation about climate change? We WanNa take good care of our earth. We don't WANNA be wasteful. We want to show respect to our neighbors into animals right so we get into all of those things after we affirm that initial feeling of fear is a few weeks ago I told my ten year old son Griffin that I read an article that said we should call climate change climate collapse instead of climate change or climate crisis. He immediately burst into tears because he has such anxiety about climate change. And we talked about that and we talked about. It's okay to feel anxious. I feel anxious and as much as I would like to tell him. Everything's GonNa be okay. We're going to sort out. Climate collapse will get it. Saw before. Really bad things start happening to you. I. I can't promise him that and in other areas particularly because of my own personal experience I attended a high school where there was a school shooting and so that story is so personal to me and my kids have always known that that happened to me when I was in school and I actually think the fact that I was so open with them and talked about what happened and that they see someone on the other side of that experience in their own parent as really dissolved some of the anxiety around the issue. I hate truly hate that. It sort of a normal thing to them because their mom went through it. But I really think that's what happened and you know for better or for worse. That is something that they encounter a lot today in our public school systems with the drills and with the lectures and talks and the news stories and so think addressing that openly and honestly through my own personal story with them and being able to say like. This is what I went through. It was really hard. I don't know the answer. I wish this was something that you were not having to deal with. And just being open and affirming not only their emotions but sharing own anxiety and fear and trauma with them in age appropriate ways honestly has really really helped us have an ongoing conversation about that topic. Sarah you said something there that I think a lot of people worry about like what is age appropriate when it comes to politics because in a lot of ways we wish. None of this was age appropriate. We wish the idea of someone coming into a school with a gun was not appropriate for elementary school kids but it is where we are and so I know for me when I think about what's age appropriate. I'm really thinking about. What can she relate to in some way? What kind of experiences in her life could help her understand? Something else will kind of vocabulary. Am I using here? Am I letting her guide the conversation with her questions so if I go more than a few sentences without breaking for her to say something? I feel like I've kind of lost the plot. Yeah I think it's really child lead and I think especially paying close attention to the questions. They are asking the questions they are. Not In fact asking is really key. You know it's not like I set my son's down when they were toddlers told them the story of my school shooting But when it would come up I would say when they were really little. Yes when I went to school. Somebody came to my school and hurt people and kept it really simple And then as their questions grew more complex. So did my answers but I really try to say hey. Are you scared about this? Do you WanNa know what's going on. And sometimes especially my middle child will say no. I don't want to know and that's okay. That's fine too. I definitely give them the space to ask. Not Ask questions about some of these topics ladies and anyone listening who wears bras for the past few weeks. I've been talking about third love. It's an innovative company. Committed to making perfectly fitting bras for all bodies if you look at their ads. We have people with physical disabilities. Who are able to use and wear third love. And then we've people like me who don't want to feel like they're wearing a bra using third love third..
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on KGO 810
"Speaking with Sarah Stewart, Holland and Beth silvers co authors of the new book, I think you're wrong. But I'm listening a guy to grace filled political conversations. I love the book. I I have to say I got hung up on chapter three a little bit. Because it was so good. It's called find your Y. Can you define how you got to that one in particular that one chapter that one tenant of of your approach that was it some ways the most important chapter to us as we got our thoughts together because it has really animated our conversations with one another and the conversation that really comes to mind for me as healthcare. I remember, Sarah, and I down to discuss the Affordable Care Act, and we got into a much bigger discussion and the piece of legislation much more about what you want healthcare to look like in our country. And there's something that will always stick with me. She said you can't really make decisions about what you think about healthcare unless you know, what kind of life you with. And what kind of stuff you want to have? And that really struck a deep note with me and a lot of our listeners. We've got so many messages about that episode. And so that took us to find your light. You do have to be really clear on what's important to you to be able to define values for yourself. We are outsourcing its process to the political parties right now. Right. We are Democrats or Republican instead of people who have discerned our own values, and then tried to look for the best match of values through the parties are three specific candidates. And so we really wanted to encourage people to step back and say, what matters to me in my life. Okay. How do I express that? Now through my political participation. I think that what's that is reflective of how we currently handle politics is in how we currently health care, and how we currently handle a lot of what should be values turbans discussions in our society. But art is that we live in a consent. Consumer culture, consumer culture that says just fight this, and it's a fix it. Treat politics just for this person, and it'll fix it. Just this party and fix it. Take this vision, don't fix it. It's it's a short term payoff instead of a long term investment when we talk about so many things in our society with the short term that and not the long term investment. And when you ship the conversation about us when you think about what kind of life. Do I wanna with what kind of world do I wanna leave for my children? That's a long term conversation that values conversation that's driven by what do I want things to look like five ten twenty fifty years from now, we don't do a lot of that in our country, and we really really need to. I don't often rely on book blurbs. But Emily Freeman from the Wall Street Journal has been on this show. Luckily, we were able to interview her and her blurb for your book is every human has at least two superpowers. The first is power to listen and the second is the ability to extend grace YouTube are leading by example on both of those tips. Can you give us a little bit more about listening because? It seems like you know, I have a nine year old kid, and I she listens better than I do often. How did we get so far away from just big civil and listening to one another? Kids are often better listeners in adults. And I think that's because kids don't feel the pressure to prove themselves in every conversation. And we are specially they're adults with politics. We have to show that we know more. We're better informed. We have the moral high ground where less it critical, and if we can drop that and show up to every conversation instead of thinking, what can I prove here? What can I learn here? It really makes more interesting discussion, and it really helps us just drop the defensive mess and sit with what people have said listeners of our show will Email me sometimes about what they call the best pause. Because after Sarah said something, that's really interesting. I wait and think about it for a second before I respond, and that's totally inadequate to everything that I think we model for one another in society. But it's a really great. It's really great skill to just be able to stop and sit with something. And thank gosh. She she just said something that I never would have thought of on my own and that doesn't. Make me a lesser person. He doesn't mean that she's better or smarter or more. Well informed than I am. But there's something really great for me to take from that. I just wanna be with it. And learn it well in Italy is so right. And not only that listening is power that can change you. I think people think well, if I listen, I'll hear things, and it'll really changed my perspective. And that's very true. And that's very important, but it can also really change your interactions with the other person if you have never reflected reflexively listened and repeated back with somebody says to you and watched how things change it's hard to convey, how impactful it is to say, okay. What I'm hearing. You say is this in your marriage with your kids and particularly in the conversation. It's just it's like the whole air around you shift. It's like the cellular makeup. You and the other person in the conversation changes because we do it. So rarely it's like people are getting their first drink of water. Like, oh my gosh. She you really hard. What I had to say, you're not just waiting to respond. You're not just listening for your the first break in the conversation. So you can get your point across you actually heard, but I had to say again, leading by example, we're speaking again with Sarah Stewart, Holland and best silvers co authors of I think you're wrong, but I'm listening. Let's talk real quick about your podcast because you guys have been doing this for awhile. It's called pantsuit politics. How did that get launched and what's your process like a little bit? Like, do you both prep separately or like in silos, and then bring it to the table? And then have the conversation to you like pre talk. I'm always interested in how people prepare their broadcasts. Well, we went to college together, we are already sister. But it's sort of fallen out of touch only say acquaintance via Facebook we winter away. We started having kids, and then I had a parenting blog and best maternity leave. And she was really my blog, which literally would be like. Stroller review. And then thought my thoughts on Syria. It was very very big next topic. And she reached out and said, would you ever be acquaintance or be interested in a I guess paste? And I said actually in it she gets a few times. But all the posts were so well received Irish out that I've been thinking about doing a podcast would you ever wanted to like a bipartisan passed and she said with a pet cats, and I said don't worry we won't figure that out. So we started talking we talked on the phone. I one time to sort of do a test drive and forty five minutes. And I realized we had a really big connection. Really good chemistry. And I said we're not gonna talk on the phone anymore unless we're recording it because we live in different parts of Kentucky. So we sort of prep separately. And then record separately isn't put the files together. But it's it's really funny. You know, sometimes there's sort of pre conversations and sometimes you're like doing it. Why didn't a record that? Sometimes it's really good to sort of sort out, our thoughts, we just had a very passionate drawer traveling together right now, a very passionate conversation on the car about Joe Biden, which we did sort of reproducing the podcast, which we've been recording in the car. But sometimes it's it's good to sort of work that out beforehand. Sometimes we're just recorded. We're talking about it for the first time on the podcasts help when we I think do our own work ahead of time. And then come together and talk about it. And that's something that I would encourage people to think about as they come to political conversations in their life to doing your own work and really thinking about something and then entering a conversation. It's so different than entering a conversation without having done. And that's why the first half of our book is really about. Like, here's how you prepare yourself to meaningfully engaged with someone else..
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on KTAR 92.3FM
"As thoughts before would by the Beatles. As we continue our discussion tonight with our guest Beth silvers and Sarah Stewart, Holland the co authors of I think, you're wrong. But I'm listening published by Nelson, and we had heard from Beth more on the conservative side of things with her thoughts and Sarah Stewart, Holland more along I guess liberalize till to have themselves face, this particular dilemma was offering her thoughts on how to deal with the people with whom you disagree in response to the colored if the moment ago, so please continue your thought, Sarah. I just think that it's so important that we all as just face the reality that no-one Levy, we've the end of not leaving California's not leaving the union we're in this together and for our democracy to work. It's not based on the political annihilation of another side, permanent political underclass where people feel unrepresented unheard. That's never good for democracy. No matter how high we think the stakes are when we raise the stakes so five it allowed all manner truly terrible behavior. If the stakes are so high than I can be humanize you can sell to you. I can act as if you're something less than he just the enemy and that leads to the current crisis. We find ourselves then. Fair enough points. I think extremely well. Take it. I I suppose we might as well at this point Beth, how did you get together that you you obviously come from somewhat different viewpoints. What what brought you to the gather? I the the podcast which will ask about it. And and then the book. I went to college together after college. We went off to walk both of us, but in separate directions. There went to Washington DC Turkey, and we reunited on Facebook. As people off of this era. We were really both interested in natural childbirth. There has three sons I have two daughters. I had read on Sarah's blog about her experience with birth and reached out to her for some advice. We start up a conversation, and that conversation led us to our shared interest in politics at which point Sarah suggested that we do podcasts at what just was at that point. But but we started chatting and found that we had really good chemistry. And we were both interested in having the kinds of conversations that we weren't hearing anywhere else. You know, we aren't political pundits. We are professionals on in the political space for bomb where citizens were lawyers, and we're friends, and what would it sound like for two people with an interest in building their relationship. Not tearing their relationship. Apart to talk across the aisle about really important and controversial subjects what a great concept. It is. So so why don't you give us a little thought about what one can find in the podcast pantsuit politics for that matter where you go to find it? You can find him through politics wherever you find podcast for apple podcast player on that Google play and many other podcast player options out there. I think what best said key when she said we were interested in building a relationship. I think what you'll find on politics in our community, people realizing and sort of remembering that we are in relationship together as citizens, but is a relationship that is important and health of that relationship is important. So that's what we really try to prioritize whether you're discussing with a family member in a very important relationship to you. And you don't wanna see Harn politics, or whether it's just a I in that you're living community with your citizenship citizenship is your main relationship that's important and prioritizing that we come together and talk about these things and say, the most important thing here is not that I say m- you into agreeing with me for some good. Gotcha moment or the. Lecturer you thought we learn from each other that were curious that we can leave the relationship stronger than we found that when we started talking I have asked many people, including just our listeners general about this. And they'll ask the two of you how many times in recent years have you seen personal friendships even family relationships? Let's say at times of in forced togetherness, like say thanksgiving or Christmas that kind of thing how many times have you seen relationships that are important to you in danger of by discussions about the issues of the day. And and and how many cases have you found yourself essentially, saying we've got to agree to disagree at simply ask how's the weather past the Turkey. So I'll ask the two of you have you have you faced this in your your your personal lives. Other the dealing with each other. Well, Sarah, certainly has. And I'll let her tell you about that. I'll say in my life that I found very tense moments. But because I love hard conversations and practices. Sarah. I feel like I found a way to keep those conversations going and to just try to always focus on strengthening relationship. The hardest conversations that I've had in my family about the metoo movement. And I have found that sitting with people and being willing to hear them out, and then being willing to share my personal stories and being pretty vulnerable and has always led us, even if we can't agree on a policy outcome, or how particular person is being treated we can't get somewhere in the conversation where maybe both of us just instead of agreeing to disagree. Maybe we both agree to say we should talk about this again sometime. All right. We will look at you know, please go ahead. Go ahead. So I'm a former Hillary Clinton staffer and my father a very passionate Trump supporter. So not surprisingly, the twenty six election did and continues to strain on our relationship at certain moments. I think what's really important is instead of saying what we agree to disagree is that we agree to just talking because I think so often agree disagreements we'll stop talking or we're just gonna talk to people who agree with us. And so we don't have to do with just a green, and that's really problematic. I think continuing to have continuing to hold face the tension in Thatta relationship. I'm continuing to honor disagreement is really really important in those relationships with more to come one eight six six five O JIMBO will eight six six five five four six two six back with our guests. Sarah Stewart hollowed invest silvers. The co host of the podcast pantsuit politics co authors. I think you're wrong, but I'm listening. We'll be listening in just a moment. Wouldn't tracking the domestic dust bunny? You come to find them hiding the wardrobes next to soaks due to scurry off. What's the fascinating about the dust bunny is that although they'll not actually censured creatures when they have not only saves people money, but also has a ninety seven percents customer satisfaction rating..
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on NewsRadio 1020 KDKA
"Wrong. But I'm listening published by Nelson, and we had heard from Beth more on the conservative side of things with her thoughts and Sarah Stewart, Holland more along, I guess liberal lines. So these two have themselves faced particular dilemma was offering her thoughts on how to deal with people. With whom you disagree in response to the color of the moment ago. So please continue your thoughts. Sarah. Just think that it's so important that we all as best said just face reality that no one leaving. We the end of that leaving California's not leaving union, we're in this together and for our democracy to work. It's not based on the political annihilation of another side, permanent political underclass where people feel unrepresented unheard never good for democracy. No matter how high we think the stakes are when we raise the stakes so high it allows all manner truly terrible behavior. If the stakes are so high than I can be humanize. You accidents fell to you. I can act as if you're something less than human. You're just the enemy and that leads to the the current crisis. We find ourselves then. Fair enough points. I think extremely well. Taken. I I suppose we might as well at this point Beth, how did you get together that you you obviously come from somewhat different viewpoints. What what brought you to together. I the the podcast which will ask about it. And and then the book. I went to college together after college. We went off to law school, the respite separate directions Sarah went to ashington. Perky and we reunited on Facebook people era. We were really interested in natural childbirth. There has three sons I have two daughters. I had read on Sarah's blog about her experience with birth and reached out to her for some advice. We start up a conversation, and that conversation led us to our shared interest in politics at which point Sarah suggested that we deal podcasts at podcast was at that point. But but we started chatting and found that we had really good chemistry. And we were both interested in having the conversations that we weren't hearing anywhere else. You know, we aren't political pundit. We are professionals in the political space where citizens were lawyers, and we're friends, and we thought what would it sound like people with an interest in building their relationship, not tearing their relationship apart to talk across the aisle about really important and controversial subjects a great concept of it is. So why don't you give us a little thought about what one can find in the podcast of pantsuit politics for that matter where you go to find it? Politics wherever you find podcast for an apple podcast player on that Google play and many other player options out there. I think what best said is key. When she said we were interested in building a relationship. I think what you'll find on politics and in our community, if people realize the and sort of remembering that, we are in relationship together as citizens, but is a relationship that is important and health of that relationship is important. So that's what we really try to prioritize whether you're discussing with a family member in a very important relationship to you. And you don't wanna see harmed by politics, or whether it's just a person that you're living community with your Asharq citizenship is your main relationship that's important and prioritizing that we come together and talk about these things and saying the most important thing here is not that I you into agreeing with me or some good document or the. Lecture you, but that we learn from each other that were curious in that we can leave the relationship stronger than we found that when we started talking I have asked many people, including just our listeners in general about this. And I'll ask the two of you how many times in recent years have you seen personal friendships even family relationships? Let's say at times of in force togetherness, like say thanksgiving or Christmas that kind of thing how many times have you seen relationships that are important to you in danger by discussions about the issues of the day at an how many cases have you found yourself, essentially say we've got to agree to disagree at simply ask how's the weather past the Turkey. So I'll ask the two of you have you have you faced this in your your personal lives. Other the dealing with each other. Sarah, certainly has. And I'll let her tell you about that. I'll say in my life that I found very tense moments. But because I love hard conversations and practices. Sarah. I feel like I found a way to keep those conversations going and to just try to always focus on strengthening relationship. The hardest conversations that I've had in my family. The metoo movement, and I have found that sitting with people and being willing to hear them out, and then being willing to share my personal stories and being pretty vulnerable in this moment has always led us, even if we can't agree on policy outcome, or how particular person is being treated we can get somewhere in the conversation where maybe both of us just incentive agreeing to disagree. Maybe we both agree to say we should talk about this again some time. All right. We will look yet bleed. No, please. Go ahead. Go ahead. So I'm a former Hillary Clinton staffer and my father a very passionate Trump supporter. So not surprisingly, the twenty sixteen election did and continues to put strain on our relationship at at certain moments. I think what's really important is instead of saying what we agree to disagree is that we agree to just keep talking. I think so often agree disagree without talking or we're going to talk to people who agree with that. And so we don't have to do agreement, and that's really problematic. I think continuing to talk continuing to hope faith for the tension inside our relationship, I'm continuing to honor disagreements is really really important in those relationships with more to come one eight.
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on Bloomberg Radio New York
"It. Totally nowhere for the the day. Dave wilson. Back in interactive. Ninety three minutes to get back in the groove here. Thanks for bringing her back to. Bob Dylan will do that to to it. So the US kind of going off in its own direction. Right. When it comes to performance versus other developed markets, and the reason behind it Megan boil it down with tale of two industries, especially something that Keith learner is the chief market strategist at SunTrust private wealth management highlighted in his latest report, he basically look at technology and financial shares. And they usually explain why it is that the US is doing so much better than other developed markets, and he focused in on Europe and Asia by looking at the NFC Ethan index which tracks those regions if you run the numbers on the Bloomberg terminal in terms of waiting you see that technology is about twenty one and a half percent of the S and P five hundred the highest waiting among the eleven main industry groups finance in the other hand little bit less than thirteen percent at number three. Now you look at. E for Europe AustralAsia far east. That's where the name comes from. And you say very different picture finance has the highest weight in that index almost nineteen percent technology just a bit more than six percent. So in other words, the last several years we've seen technology stocks to relatively well. And that's done a whole lot more for the US than it has developed markets. Elsewhere because they just don't have the same concentration in intact that they do in finance which hasn't done. So well, I was talking yesterday about how if you look at the SNP five hundred financials index it's the only one basically out of the eleven that has not gotten backed with highs in the previous bull market that ended in two thousand seven. So, you know, it just goes to show you how these kinds of distinctions bear on performance. If you wanna more folks semi truck explanation. Goes with it and everything I do going forward. The Email address is dwilson at Bloomberg dot net. That's dwilson at Bloomberg dot net. Dave wilson. Thank you so much. You'll be back in just a little bit right after the close with your stock of the day. All right. I asked you what you wanted to talk about during this segment where we chat, and you're like, I don't know. Later later later. I don't know. I'm looking at our most read in the past hour has to do with the fed. If I go to eight hours we're talking about renaissance, right? Very successful hedge fund, and they're exploring settlement talk about something. I wanted to talk. Don't have any. Pressing on your mind. The fed college library does this scandal. So one of the things that happened late yesterday. Yeah. Keeps on giving because they really upped the ante yesterday pressing the same charges against parents in this that they usually reserve for crime syndicates, and as our Stephen M sellers, Jordan us, Ruben, right? You know, sort of the smoke filled rooms around money laundering. I mean that is really taking this to the next level. That's a charge that facing Laurie. Laughlin charge facing mcglashan, the former teepee managing partner ahead of g growth ahead of the rise fine. This is getting more and more serious than than the other thing that we hear is that they're more. There's more to come here. They're more people are going to be wrapped up in this to added charges yesterday for those who didn't take a plea. And I do wonder how much of this is to put more pressure on the. The parents to basically come forward and do some kind of settlement. But it is kind of fascinating. And I watched actually at homesick. I was watching a lot of news coverage, particularly this story. You know, and people say that there are parents that are gonna go to jail, certainly for those who were more grievous, or, you know, a lot more charges are going to be levied at them. But it's it's pretty amazing. I do think this is just a way of ramping up the pressure on these parents it is indeed. And it's also such a sign of the times, you know, just to give you a little teaser something we've got coming later in the week. We caught up with Sarah Stewart, Holland who is one of the hosts of pantsuit politics for our extra podcast. It's going to be coming up. And she talks a lot about sort of the time that we're in the political landscape that we're in, and we talked about her talked with her about the fact that like this scandal is sort of of a piece with where we are in the big issues. We're facing as a society. Right. The injustices, right? And the disparity between the haves and the have nots, right? It's really playing out and you had this conversation. We talk about I think for years education was seen as the great leveler. Right. And and to give equal opportunity to individuals, and we're finding out certainly because of this college admission scandal that that is certainly or hasn't always been the case. I am waiting to see if there are more names to come out. Right. We are waiting because they from my understanding this this individual worked with a lot of people hundreds of hundreds yet. So we'll see where that goes from here. Some of those people who who worked with him. Obviously were on the up and up, but not everyone. Clearly, all right. Let's get to some world and national headlines. Jason thank you wide array of probing questions for the nation's top bankers today is one lawmaker explained it. She wasn't trying to be personal with the questions. Just tough. Bloomberg's Irv Chapman has been following sometimes testy questioning and joins us live Irv as the hearings stretched into it seven hour, a new members of congress turns Alexandria, Cossio Cortez pose this question kids that go to jail for jumping style because they can't afford a metro card. Do you think? Folks should have gone to jail for their role in financial crisis. Mr. diamond, I don't think people should go to jail for jumping subway put too many people in jail. And I think if people broke the law, they should go to jail causE'. Oh cortez. Also asked if huge fines, the big banks have had to pay in the last ten years just being factored in as a cost of doing business. Capitol Hill or Chapman, Bloomberg radio. Thank you still defiant in the face of calls from Democrats in congress to release his tax returns, President Trump signaling his administration will resist a request to the IRS to turn over six years of his tax returns by the end of the day Trump's position as long been that he's under audit and us could not release his returns, he has added extra layers to the Tax Shield since then suggesting the returns are too complicated for most people to understand today, repeating another argument he's used before I got elected last time the same exact tissue. The same intensity which wasn't very much because frankly, the people don't care Democrats don't expect the treasury department to comply today. But they haven't sketched out their next steps..
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on 850 WFTL
"Sarah, Stewart, Holland and Beth silvers are with us this day. And ladies, we want to welcome you to the Florida roundtable would get you started here in just a second. But allow me if you will. Sarah, Holland spent some time on Capitol Hill as as a as a staff member and she moved back to Paducah Kentucky about ten years ago to raise a family back in politics in two thousand sixteen and she knocked on fifty five hundred twenty three doors to get elected to the Paducah city commission. She served a term best silver's spent eleven years as a restructuring attorney, and then human resources executive in Cincinnati based law firm become and then she became a business. Coach in January of twenty eighteen Beth teaches yoga she speaks to organizations and conferences about her favorite subject hard conversations. Now, I could go on and on. But I'll tell you what I want to ask each of you ladies to take a minute and tell us a little bit more about yourself, maybe your your educational background, and how pantsuit politics came to be in the first place and Sarah. How about if we start with you on this one? Well, that's great. 'cause I order storyteller. I was writing a parenting blog answer on the back to Paducah started raising a family, but because I couldn't quite quit politics. I would throw up like my thoughts on Syria after just written a stroller review of Beck and was on maternity leave from her grab and was following my blog on Facebook. We went to college together, but didn't say particularly close just kind of stay connected to each other through Facebook. She asked about ever be interested in having her guest post on my blog, and I said absolutely always looking for content, please but post away, and I always went really, well, she in particular what one called nuance which encouraged everybody to to chill out from the latest internet controversy, which at the time was bigger super easy stuff like feasible lion lion. And she wrote a post active everybody to find some new on. And it went so, well, I reached out to her, and I said have you ever considered doing odd catch? But me, and she said what's about cast sounds like don't worry. I'll explain it later. We did Elliott tests phone call which went so, well, I told her we're not gonna talk on the phone unless we're recording it because we had really good sort of flip conversational flow in chemistry from the beginning. And that politics was more. And and Beth same question to you. So I've been practicing law, and then moved into resources executive position with the firm that I worked for when I connected back with Sarah. And I was staring nervous about having political conversation in front of the world. We assumed when we started recording our podcast that maybe our parents would listen, but very quickly I team speech as they would note worthy section, and we started waking up to emails from Thailand, and Germany and all across the United States. And we really found 'em people a hunger for the kind of conversations we were having. We just can't hear them anywhere else where two people with different perspectives on what the federal government ought to do sit together and think critically about not just the issues of the day. But how our values and former perspective, although this year, we really try to maintain a respectful conversation where we're being curious where we're learning more about each other. And so are podcast gave life to look. I think you're listening. We wanted to say, okay, let's step back and think about what we're doing in the podcast. What have we learned from that that we can give to other people as a roadmap for having these kinds of conversations themselves. Now, I think you're wrong. But I'm listening is your brand new book subtitled a guide to grace filled political conversations. It's from our friends at Thomas Nelson publishing, and it should be available at all the fine bookstores around Florida and places like Amazon dot com, but Beth will come back to you first on this one. And then and go over to Sarah, the motivating us wanted to take that thought that you just shared with us a little bit and expand on that about the creation of this book. Not the easiest thing in the world for two people to sit down and collaborate on a book like this. I think you're wrong. But I'm listening now talk a little bit about that. I think the collaboration to write the book is the same thing that we found in our collaboration on political conversation that is very hard. But it also gives to something better than either of us could create it alone. When we talk about our differing perspectives on politics. We often say that Sarah is the gas as it relates to the federal government. She wants to bring all of the problem solving tools. We have tissues and the brakes. I say Hank mine here all the things that can happen. Would we use that big power? The government has and we're reverse on private industry. I'm the gas. I wanna let company you innovate at people make lots of money and come up with great ideas. And Sarah says hold on. Let's pump the brakes and think about the unintended consequences of that. And that collaboration bringing both of those perspective to the table helps us clarify our thinking, and it leads us to better ideas than either of us have on our own. And I think that's what happened with the book the process of writing a book with another person is really challenging but together. I think we've come up with some principles that will really help people find political conversation to be acceptable but enjoyable and something that can strengthen relationships even with people who strongly disagree with them. And sarah. Would you have any additional notes or keto expand on any of that? Yeah. I mean, I would say also with regards to our metaphor for being in the car. Not only makes you a better driver. But the card is Dr. Our country wouldn't function well under one party, even if you think it would do that with just your party and charge if it was only member making every decision there would be some real problems because we're a perfect people. And we don't have put the and complete knowledge on every issue. And so you need that balance. Just like you need brakes cars brazen. Data to drive car in order to get anywhere. We've gotta find that balance that it sometimes it's not tension. Sometimes the tension be what it is. And stand in stand in that place of we're not time. We're not gonna convince each other. That's not the goal. So I actually talking about trying to convince each other. I actually have a question for both of you. But I'll start with you Beth has there ever been a time where Sarah has convinced you to change your mind on an issue. Lots of times, I'll give you one example, I think tax policy the place where I've really involved evolved in my thinking because I grew up thinking about a very traditional kind of Reaganomics view of the world and Sarah. And I looked carefully together at research at data. I've come to see that trickle trickle down economics as much as I wanted to work. Just does it. And so I need to move beyond. My thinking of that start to think more clearly about what our new solutions new ways to stimulate our economy and also to make sure that we're contributing fairly to the government. So that's an area where my thinking has really shifted because of our conversation. What about you? Going to jump in it. I've also shifted a lot on several policies, particularly welfare, we do something on our podcast called primers. Will we really just try to break things down to their basic levels? We go back and look at the history, you know, in of tackle the one on one approach to different. The dead welfare. One on one kind of broke it down look at the history. I realized there was so many did not understand that I had adopted the party line without doing my research. And when I went back into the history, and I looked at the ways in which Welker policy plays out state by state. I realize their workplaces and particularly in our history where people were being punished for trying to get work, and I had to really reevaluate my opinions and ideas on that. And I really shifted the way I think about welfare really more than anything. I shifted the sort of defensive posture took on welfare that it was perfect. It was awesome. Our social safety net. What was required and was it's just a success on every level and had to really reevaluate that story. I was telling myself in the defensiveness brought to the issue now, let me ask you this the two of you feel that one of the ways that we can make things better and get this dialogue rolling along. And that is that when. Ever you're involved in these things you have to choose to respect the dignity of every person. And it just seems like in this day and age. That's that's a toughie Beth. It is tough. We get asked a lot. How much the Trump presidency term pregnant? Changed our approach in. And I would say that it has made a reproach Carter in formed necessary because we have a dialogue. Great now. However, you feel about the president where we're talking about each other as enemies constantly. And that's what we mean by grace filled political conversation where we can disagree with other people. But we all see each other as citizens, and we see each other as connected to us lose citizen. So even if I think you are wrong about absolutely everything. I have to acknowledge your humanity when we just pile on and we feel like we're being dehumanized, and we start to become what we're arguing against it just continues to take backward. I don't think there is any light in our political discourse that will come without us. First thing, you know, roll here together pragmatically Sarah says often. You know, we don't have any states with plans to exit the union. We're gonna share the space we're gonna share the value of our country, and we need to to look at each other that way instead of just being constantly outraged and ready to to one another away and Sarah the same question for you. Well, we always say with regards to our book that it's graceful conversation and people really have lots of questions about the concept of grace when inside politics, particularly because grazes and earned, and so the idea is you can give it even if your your conversational partner or Ponant, depending on your state of mind isn't giving it to you. It's you know, it's it's the concept that many of us by luck of birth or born in this country or have privileges and Ray sources, buy nothing. We did on our own by none of our individual choices. And so we have to to sort of release that grace decrepitude out into the universe. And sometimes we're going to give it to people who don't want to give it back. But that's not what it is. It's not a transaction Greif and gratitude or not transactions their freely given with no expectation of being given in return, and it's a long game, you know, sometimes especially with family members. We're gonna be we're going to hope that even if it doesn't shift that person. Opinion or perspective immediately that exercise of giving grace over and over again will start to chip away. It maybe some of their anger or their fear or their defensiveness and conversations with you. But it's not transaction. It's not give it so that they're nice to you back or that. So they start to agree with you. That's not what we're asking people to do. Ladies we rapidly approaching mandatory break point here are tech on precision segment on the Florida roundtable we are chatting with Beth silvers and Sarah Stewart, Holland they are the co authors of I think you're wrong. But I'm listening a guy do grace filled political conversations..
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on 760 KFMB Radio
"Three six three six six six. I'm going to talk this morning about something that probably bothers a lot of folks. Because maybe you don't wanna talk about politics or anything with somebody with whom you disagree because it can get unpleasant. Sometimes how do we fix that? I mean with things have really gone downhill the last couple of years in everybody hates everybody else and everybody's angry. And if you disagree over, you know, how much money should go into a budget or some other issues. Suddenly every the other person is evil or immoral or unethical or unamerican, and it's just really really getting out of control. How do we pull back from that? How do we become a more civil nation more civil people, you know, which makes us happier. You know? I don't think it's happy to be to be that angry with people all the time. And you know, people on people who are on. More of the extreme level on both sides of our political spectrum tend to live in bubbles where they listen only to partisan media, and they have partisan people that they read or listen to or watch who are telling them, you know, be angry the angry. This is all awful the world is coming to an end. The other people are all criminals, and crooks and dishonest and immoral and only we have the right way. And then people start believing that and then they can't sit down, and and you know, on a bus next to somebody can have a conversation because of it. So you know, things are really getting out of control. We wanna see how we can pull back from that. And you know, disagree when we disagree on something. Find ways to agree with people when we agree with them on something and not have to demonize everybody. So we're gonna take your calls at eight hundred seven three six three six three seven three six three six six six. After you folks are pretty good about doing that, by the way. So you must have some secret because when you talk here, you know, you're you're usually pretty generous to the other side, and and your offer your opinions without demonizing people. And of course, we appreciate that. And I think the people listening appreciate that as well. So we're going to talk this morning with a couple of ladies who've who've sort of turned this into sort of a living Beth silvers and Sarah Stewart, Holland have a new book out. I haven't my hand it's called. I think you're wrong. But I'm listening the cover red white and blue these are a couple of women who've had a history and some background in political types of issues, and they gave that up, and they they both live in Kentucky and Sarah Stewart, Holland is she leans democratic and Beth silvers leans Republican, and they do a podcast called the pantsuit podcast. And they talk about you know, being civil on their podcasts. They are civil as they discuss issues, they figured out how to do it. And so we want to find out from them. We're going to bring both of them in now. Sarah, Stewart, Holland and best silver. Joining us now, Monday morning on first light. So the I guess ladies the first question is the right? Very early on one of the first things you have in your book is to advice to make relationships more important than just scoring points. Yes. We've been doing our podcast since two thousand fifteen and we felt like we learned some lessons stablest some guidelines that we wanted to share with people. You know, when we first started doing the podcast. We haven't seen each other in person and thirteen years. So it's not like, we were close friends, but over several years of talking politics, we actually developed a closer relationship, which sounds like a miracle in today's day and age, but it really can happen. We learned more about ourselves more about our own values. We learned more about the issues, and we definitely learn more about each other. So you have some tips for talking to somebody with whom you may have very very serious disagreements, but right in the beginning of your book, you say that we are choosing division. We are choosing conflict and that we can choose otherwise. So why? Why do we have to be told that we need to do that? What's going? What's gone wrong with us? Well, I think that we act as consumers and most aspects of our lives, and so a lot of times when a blame the state of our politics on individual politician or on the media, and the media and politicians are just a reflection of where we are as a culture we like to listen to conflicts sold television shows radio programmes, we liked to listen to it makes us feel like we're smarter than the other guys. And we've practiced that so much that we don't really know how to sit down with someone you love and intend to stay in relationship with to have a good conversation that actually moves thanks to word. All right. So you say that you have to make these conversations more important than winning an argument. So is it is it that you tracked to try to try to reach some common ground or is it to hear each other out? No, I think every time there's not going to be common ground available sometime. There's going to be issues that we're unwilling to compromise on. And that's okay. We need to be more comfortable having hard conversation in which we're not trying to reach a satisfactory conclusion for everyone. We really encourage people to hold that tension to just be curious about the other person disagrees with you and trying to convince them or win the day because we're a big country. We're not always going to agree on everything. And there's not always going to be a perfect compromise available, and we need to learn to move forward in those moments instead of treating each other like the enemy does this work just with the family and friends or can at work out in the public arena. Wild. We're not encouraging people to like approach strangers and dive into deep conversations because we do think our relationship has to be a really healthy conflict. But we think it's important to start with family and friends, and in our workplaces our churches in our community organization because we can't do it at that level. Then we can't expect our members of congress to do that. The harder the conversation the harder the topic maybe the easier it will be a relationship in place, but we should be able to talk out in our community with people maybe not about abortion, but about our local sewer system or about how we want our roads to be or how we want our local officials to represent us. We should be able to talk about maybe less fiery subjects, but still political winds with people. We don't have close relationships with. Okay. So now everybody probably would say, yes, I agree with everything that you've said so far. But how do I actually do it? I say, I'm a I'm a conservative. I'm talking to somebody who comes totally from the opposite side from the left side. How do I keep myself from getting annoyed from getting angry or or from saying? Yeah, that's the dumbest thing I ever heard. We need some specific tips for our listeners. I think the first thing is recognizing that you probably will get annoyed and angry at some point in the conversation. If that's okay, a huge part is being able to do this. Well is just saying that instead of getting mad and walking away you come into the conversation. I with the goal of I wanna learn more about this person. I want to learn more about why I believe what I believe second. I think you need to establish some trust in the conversation. So we do recommend zooming out from an issue to find. What are we fundamentally agree on? So if you're conservative talking with someone from the left about immigration come back from the border wall. And I say we both think about who gets to live in America. What kind of processes do we think needs to be in place about who gets to live in America? And then move forward to the specifics from there and third as things get heated. We acknowledged that all the time, you know, there you'll hear on our podcast by saying I'm getting emotional about this because of this. I'm getting defensive because of this. We have to annotate. These conversations. So that we're all still staying together instead of going to our corners when it gets hard. It sounds easy. But how do you keep yourself from getting uncomfortable keeping your blood pressure from rising? Do you have to do something internally? Yes. We definitely spill in the first half of our book talking about internal work. The first half of our books at start with yourself and work on yourself and be prepared for these conversations. And know that it's not gonna be on time. The first time the second time the fifteenth time it's gonna feel uncomfortable and hard because this is a practice not a secret formula. It's it's a practice of showing up for hard conversations of engaging people we love and people in our community about our values because politics is about values and how we wanna live together in community and the more we can go back to that. And remind ourselves that this work is important. And that even if it is hard and uncomfortable. It's important for our children. For our democracy. The better we'll be all right. We thank Sarah Stewart. Holland and Beth silver's for being with us this morning on first light. They are the hosts of the pants podcast, the brand new book is called. I think you're wrong. But I'm listening a guide to grace filled political conversations, we're going to have a grace filled political conversation with you and your calls in two minutes on first.
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on KOMO
"Hundred seven three six three six six six. I'm going to talk this morning about something that probably bothers a lot of folks. Because maybe you don't want to talk about politics or anything with somebody with whom you disagree because it can get unpleasant. Sometimes how do we fix that? I mean, we're things have really gone downhill the last couple of years in everybody hates everybody else and everybody's angry. And if you agree over how much money should go into a budget or some other issue, suddenly every other person is evil or immoral or unethical or unamerican, and is this really really getting out of control. How do we pull back from that? How do we become, you know, more civil nation more civil people, which makes us happier. You know? I don't think it's happy to be to be that angry with people all the time, and you know, people on. People who are on. More of the extreme level on both sides of our political spectrum tend to live in bubbles where they listen only to partisan media, and they have partisan people that they read or listen to or watch who are telling them, you know, be angry be angry. This is all awful world is coming to an end. The other people are all criminals, and crooks and dishonest and immoral and only we have the right way and people start believing that and then they can't sit down, and and you know, on a bus next to somebody can have a conversation because of it. So you know, things are really getting out of control. We want to see how we can pull back from that and disagree when we disagree on something. Find ways to agree with people when we agree with them on something and not have to demonize everybody. So we're gonna take your calls at eight hundred seven three six three six three seven three six three six six six. Most of you. Folks are pretty good about doing that, by the way. So you must have some secret because when you talk here, you know, you're usually pretty generous to the other side, and and your offer your opinions without demonizing people. And of course, we appreciate that. And I think the people. Listening. Appreciate that as well. So we're gonna talk this morning with a couple of ladies who have who've sort of turned this into sort of a living Beth silvers and Sarah Stewart, Holland have a new book out. I have in my hand it's called. I think you're wrong. But I'm listening the cover red white and blue these are a couple of women who've had a history and some background in political types of issues, and they gave that up, and they they both live in Kentucky and Sarah Stewart, Holland is she leans democratic and Beth silvers leans Republican, and they do a podcast called the pantsuit podcast. And they talk about you know, being civil on their podcasts. They are civil as they discuss issues, they figured out how to do it. And so we want to find out from them. We're going to bring both of them in now. Sarah, Stewart Holland and Beth silvers joining us now, Monday morning on first light. So the I guess ladies the first question is you right? Very early on one of the first things you have in your book is to estimate advice to make relationships more important than just scoring points. Yes. We've been doing our. Podcast. It's two thousand fifteen and we felt like we learnt the lesson guidelines that we wanted to share with people. You know, when we started doing podcasts we haven't seen each other in person in thirteen years. So it's not like, we were close friends, but over several years of talking politics, we actually developed a closer relationship, which sounds like a miracle in today's day and age, but it really can't happen. We learned more about ourselves than more about our own values. We learned more about the issues, and we definitely learn more about each other. So you have some tips for talking to somebody with with whom you may have very very serious disagreements, but right in the beginning of your book, you say that we are choosing division. We are choosing conflict and that we can choose otherwise. So why why do we have to be told that we need to do that? What's going? What's gone wrong with us? Well, I think that we act as consumers and both aspects of our lives. And so a lot of times we want to blame the state of our politics on individual politician or on the media, and the media and politicians are just a reflection of where we are as a culture we like to listen to conflict filled television shows and radio programs. We like to listen to formation that makes us feel like we're smarter than the other guys. And we've practiced that so much that we don't really know how to sit down with someone you love and intend to stay at relationship with to have a good conversation that actually move forward. All right. So you say that you have to make these conversations more important than winning an argument. So is it is it that you trap to try to try to reach some common ground or is it to hear each other out? No, I think every time there's not going to be common ground available sometime. There's going to be issues that we're unwilling to compromise on. And that's okay. We need to be more comfortable having hard conversation in which we're not trying to reach a satisfactory conclusion for everyone. We really encourage people to hold that tension to just be curious about the why the other person disagrees with you instead of trying to convince them or win the day because we're a big country, and we're not always going to agree on everything. And there's not always going to be a perfect compromise available, and we need to learn to move forward in those moments instead of treating each other like the enemy does this work just with the family and friends or can at work out in the public arena. Wild. We're not encouraging people to like approach strangers and jive and conversations because we do think our relationship has to be at the root of really healthy conflict. But we think it's important to start with family and friends, and in our workplaces, and in our churches in our organization because if we can't do it at that level, then we can't expect our members of congress to do this. The harder that conversation the harder that topic maybe the easier it will be a relationship in place, but we should be able to talk out in our community with people maybe not about abortion, but about our local sewer system or about how we want our road to be or how we want officials to represent us. We should be able to talk about maybe less fiery subjects, but still political winds with people. We don't have close relationships with. Okay. So now everybody probably would say, yes, I agree with everything that you've said so far. But how do I actually do it? I say, I'm I'm a conservative. I'm talking to somebody who comes totally from the opposite side from the left side. How do I keep myself from getting from getting angry or or from saying? Yeah, that's the dumbest thing I ever heard. We need some specific tips for our listeners. Well, I think the person is recognizing that you probably will get annoyed and angry at some point. A huge part as well is just saying that instead of getting mad and walking away you come into the conversation. I with the goal of I wanna learn more about this person. I want to learn more about why I believe what I. I can I think you need to establish some trust in the conversation. So we do recommend zooming out from an issue to find. What are we agree on? So if you're conservatives talking with someone from the left about immigration come back from the border wall. And I say we both think about who gets to live in America. What kind of processes do we think needs to be in place about who gets to live in America? And then move forward to the specifics from there and third as things get heated. We acknowledged that all the time there you'll hear on our podcast by saying I'm getting emotional about this because of this I'm getting defensive because of this. We have to annotate these conversations. So that we're all still staying together instead of going to our corners when it gets hard. It sounds easy. But how do you keep yourself from getting uncomfortable and keeping your blood pressure from rising? Do you have to do something internally? Yes. We definitely spill in the first half of our book talking work, first half of our book that start with yourself and work on yourself and be prepared for these conversations. And know that it's not going to be on time. The first time the second time the fifteenth time it's gonna feel uncomfortable and hard because this is a practice not a secret formula. It's a it's a practice of showing up for hard conversations of engaging people we love and people in our community about our values because politics is about values and how we wanna live together and community and the more. We can go back to that. It remind ourselves with this work is important. And that even if it is hard and uncomfortable. It's important for our communities for our children as part of our democracy, the better, we'll be all right. We thank Sarah Stewart. Holland and Beth silver's for being with us this morning on first light. They are the hosts of the suit podcast their brand new book is called. I think you're wrong. But I'm listening a guide to grace filled political conversations, we're going to have a grace. Political conversation with you and your calls in two minutes on first light eight hundred.
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on The Popcast With Knox and Jamie
"Needs Zantac calm down about. No. That's why doesn't he got addicted to Xanax? That's why he is a little Bullock. Why would you name your soul thing you're addicted to like like, I don't call myself a little cheese it, I don't call myself blue French from even though maybe we should maybe we're doing wrong cheese it for. A truck. I wish agreement this week. Okay. So I have two green lights my baby green lights are because I'm watching so many Oscar films in the last week. I did want to do a hat tip to everyone should watch free solo free solo which I thought was about Han solo. It was not it was about solo climbing rocks, which again is never interesting to me. When I go go buy it at the wa people who are climbing rocks seems very boring to me this movie was so riveting and so creative and smart. And it's basically just about a guy that they're filming his solo com of L copy Thanh, and it is like I was like dizzy da does he live? What happens? I was. I was intrigued the other is black klansman. I only watched black klansman with Adam driver, John David John David joined in Washington. Thank you on our Coa black Cukurca clansmen. So Clemson gifts. What Jamie did not know? This was based on a true story until the credits rolled and it said based on the book by the characters name, and I was like, oh, okay. Well, this is even better. Then it was it was based on a true story. It's so good. It is uncomfortable. It is it's very uncomfortable. But listen, I think we need to watch uncomfortable things in order. It's like our discussion about twelve years of slave. I think we have to watch things like this that we better understand history. Where we've come from. How do we not repeat these behaviors? And how do we understand some of the fears that we see currently how do we understand them? As like, this is not the long ago past this is the current pass too. I liked both of those homes a lot. Then my green light book this week is I think you're wrong. But I'm listening by Sarah, Stewart, Holland and Beth silvers now Beth and Sarah or the host of the.
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on Sounds Good with Branden Harvey
"We don't host this podcast for the sake of leaving you with just straight up bullet points for self-improvement. I just think that it's a lot more complex than that. And so we show up here and sounds good to ask big questions to dive into nuance into learn from each other's stories. So any further ado, let's just jump straight into this conversation with Sarah and bet. Sarah embed. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm so excited to be talking with you guys that the last time we talked. We were all together here in Nashville. And now I loved your little studio. It was the best. It was so fun to have you guys here in person. And you guys have got the freaking new book out, and it's so good. And so I know that you guys have been busy. And so we're recording over the internet today. But I'm just so excited to kinda talk about this. Because I love the new book love, you guys are doing and also now that everybody's announcing that they're running for president, and we just had the midterms and all these things everyone literally every single human. I'm excited to get to dive into a few these things because I think the we're all trying to figure out what twenty nineteen twenty twenty are gonna look like how we can kind of stay sane within it how we cannot be in conflict with the people we love and how we can also focus on actually making the world better place. Not just like existing. Politics, but but working together to create solutions, and so thanks for being here. Thank you for having us. Yes. Thank you so much for those who have it. Let's do our very first conversation together. Maybe we can kind of give a quick little primer on who each of you are how you came together and kind of the creation of pantsuit politics. And the other nuanced things that you're creating in the world. I am the designated origin storyteller of pantsuit politics. I am Sarah Stewart Holland from the left, and I had the idea for a podcast surrounding interviews with women in politics. I had worked in politics. I just completed a training program for women interested in running for office back in two thousand fifteen when I had this idea, but I didn't interview. And I was like, okay. I don't really I'm not I wasn't loving it. It just kind of sat there on my desktop and then at simultaneously. I had a blog it was primarily focused on parenting. But I would occasionally talk about politics on. On the blog and Beth who I have known since college. We went to college together. And we're in the same sorority had stayed in touch through Facebook. And she reached out and said, hey, do you ever want sort of an opposite perspective on your blog about these political topics you write about, and I said, absolutely. I'm always looking for content from blog bringing on sister. And so she wrote some really amazing post. I loved her style loved the way her brain worked. And so I thought I reached out and I said, hey, what if we did a podcast where we work through these sort of opposing sides of issues in a very different way away. We definitely weren't seen in the media landscape, and she said was a podcast. So I explained that part. And then we did a test. Call said, I'm going to call you. And we'll just talk about politics and see how we liked talking politics together. And we talk for an hour. And I said, okay, we got something here. I'm gonna talk on the phone anymore, unless we're recording it, and that is how politics was born beautiful. And I I mean, I'm a fan of the show. I have friends who are fans of the show who actually introduced me to you guys in. You guys have existed for how many years now three years hard to believe. So you have maybe different political ideologies. But you also have a lot of things that you both have in common. You're both lawyers. Mothers both live in Kentucky. What else am I missing here? Probably lots of things. I mean, we both like lake St. chocolate. The way that we talk about it a lot is that we have very similar values..
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on Pantsuit Politics
"In student engagement program implemented has made it easier for people to vote in Georgia. But right now there's fifty three thousand applications from Georgia voters on hold in his office and some people don't even know their on hold. They don't know. There's a problem in won't until they go to the polls. So there are two issues in Georgia that have created this problem. One is an exact match, registration verification process. Your voter application must exactly match info on file with the social security administration or the Georgia department of driver services. Again in the app. Abstract. That sounds fine, but think about people who have moved frequently. I think about my time during college when I lived in a dorm and then an apartment and then in a house with friends for the summer between leases, you know, that is an onerous requirement for lots of portions of our population. I also thought a lot about my grandmother, so her name was Colleen, joy, Thurman, and in some places she went by joy. So in some places it was see, joy, Thurman, some places it was joy, Thurman, some places it was Colleen. Joy, like her records were all over the place in terms of how she identified herself. So that is the kind of issue about how many women are going to have that issue with made names like vastly Sarah Stewart Holland. I go by all three, like I almost didn't get into the White House when we went to Washington DC because somebody had put Sarah Stewart as my first name and Holland as my last name and like head. Sara Stewart is one word. So I mean that happens all the time when you have three names or especially if you've changed names at some point in your life or like I tried. A us all three. I don't go bus home. I'll try to go by air Stuart Holland and so it's just what disaster so that exact match issue is where a lot of the problem was coming from in Georgia. Georgia also has a practice of what can prefers to voter maintenance and others refer to as voter purges, but they go through registrations in cancel inactive registrations, and that can be based on return mail from an address. There are lots of issues here again, this disproportionately impacts people of color and can we all agree, just state legislatures across the country. We need a process for recusals when you're when you're current secretary of state is on the ballot for anything else. The secretary of state's office is so important in an election, and we are in such a tenuous place with our confidence in our elections. It seems so reasonable to me to say in the event that the secretary of state is running for any other statewide or national office act. Actually any office, right? Even if the secretary of state were running for school board, that person should be recused. So somebody else can step in and oversee voting in that election. And I think it should be like, I don't know six months one way or the other or from the data filing or whatever it is. But this is this is an UN forced air in our democracy that we could fix. Right. Well, all this talk about disproportionately impacting people of color important to point out that his opponent is a black woman, Stacey Abrams. And so I don't think it takes a rocket science to figure out that. Her part of her outrage and a huge part of her strategy will be reaching out to voters in the African American community. So here's what you can do about this because this issue creeps up in states besides Georgia, it's just been a focal point in Georgia this year confirm your voting registration seen as possible..
"sarah stewart holland" Discussed on Pantsuit Politics
"Hello, everyone to keep her joining us for another episode of paint seat politics. Thank you all so much for your kind notes during my vacation. I really appreciated it and Sarah is now at the beach. It's like we switched places, but don't worry. I have another Sarah here. So just like you heard from our typical Sarah from the left last week in her awesome conversations with Joe Kroger, Maggie Abby Kuroda and Mattie, which I loved. I do have some things to say in defensive capitalism, but I'm going to hold those thoughts until Sarah and I are back together. But if you heard those episodes in liked it today, we have another great guest host. So Sarah shot lend reached out as one of the many awesome people who submitted to come onto the show and guest host, and we are going to have what I'm sure is going to be a fascinating conversation about mass incarceration, but we're actually going to host the show just like Sarah Stewart Holland, and I do. So we're going to go through a little bit of news and then have mass incarceration as our main topic, and then we'll end with what's on our minds outside of politics. So Sarah. I'm gonna shut up now and ask you to tell everybody about yourself. We'll hi. I'm so happy to be here. My name's Sarah Shortland on a novelist, an English professor at Chatham university in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and I'm the co founder of words without walls, which brings creative writing classes to jails, prisons, and rehabilitation centres in Pittsburgh. Also a huge pantsuit politics van, which is why was so excited to get to talk to you add lived in Pittsburgh for almost ten years, but I'm originally from Dallas, Texas, and both those places are surprisingly similar politically, oh, interesting. Big states that have sort of blew big cities and big swaths of big open red in the middle. So that was really surprising to me when I moved to Pennsylvania, that it was so similar to Texas Kay. Tell me what kind of novelty Ryan. I'll say this. I went to undergrad in New Orleans and so. My first novel junket is about New Orleans. So if you are a person who's interested in the amazing life of that city, you might really like that book and you can get it on Amazon in bookstores. That's amazing while I'm so glad that you're here. When I heard your submission, I was like, I love her accent. You can tell that she's land in multiple places. This is going to be great. So let's dive in because there is a lot of news to cover for happy Tuesday, everyone. Paul manafort's trial starts today. Clue. This trial is expected to last for three weeks, and I just want everyone to remember that Paul manafort's indictment is not about the Trump campaign's collusion with Russia or any of the sort of headline making stories around the president himself. Paul manafort's trial is principally about money in it is about money that he obtained from a political party in Ukraine and from Ukrainian political figures and from the crane government at one point that he did not pay taxes on that he lived a very lavish lifestyle on in the United States, and the fact that he was acting as a lobbyist on behalf of these parties without properly disclosing that in the United States. So if you are a person, for example, who worries about foreign influence in the United States in the form of immigration? I would expect that you would be Tripoli outraged. By someone being funded by a foreign government, not paying taxes on any of that money and not being transparent about what he is doing. Yes. And I'm sure everyone's very consistent on us points. Of course, always consistent. One of the things that I I really was picking up on when I was reading about this this weekend in terms of the lavishness of his life style, and the really outrageous way he was spending money is I- thinking, man, you're really spending it like you didn't earn it. That's really burn another people's money. He stole it doesn't. He totally. Okay. Yeah, you're, you're demonstrating that this money was not earned, you know, in terms of sort of his association with Trump, he sure is swamped. He, he's pretty swampy. Sure is slumpy is interesting. The witness list for this trial is like, here's a guy from Airbnb, and here's somebody from a really expensive, relax, pensive, clothing store..