19 Episode results for "Sarah Silverman"

Sarah Silverman

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

1:07:08 hr | 8 months ago

Sarah Silverman

"They put on a dress shirt and feels like a straitjacket. No that hasn't happened to me. I'm going to be honest with you but I've had shirts shirts that don't fit my done. It's like torso perfectly isn't enters. The frame they make dress shirts better. A comfortable quiet sewn. I'm doing the best I can made out of comfortable performance fabrics in Maine shirts machine. Washable and wrinkle resistant Finch resists those wrinkles I always say visit visiting means website at www dot comfortable dot a. f.. You know what I'm talking about. Kids use is code Conan at checkout to receive ten dollars off. Your order visited Maine. It's never felt better. Teleki at best. This is an obsession. I am Conan O'Brien's assistant and I have a new instagram. TV series called SONA fixes is your life going to say you're constantly shooting. He's well we're supposed to be doing stuff and I'm always in my office and I try to walk out and they've closed door four and locked it so that I can't interrupt what your shooting and I'm trying to get out but anyway people of these. I mean I don't know they do each week. I answer your. I'm just GONNA run hostage. Just say it's just it's true. I don't know because I'm very very awkward and I'm very uncomfortable doing this year. You baby and that's what counts okay. Each week I answer your questions about anything from how to ask out your crushed to how to deal with a boss. You can't stand. Oh all right. New episodes every Friday on instagram dot com slash. Team Coco. I you've got to relax into yourself when you do these. I'm so uncomfortable right now. I hate that I've been given the sheet of paper also. I'm not good at giving advice. That's the one thing I have to mention is. I don't know why I'm doing this because I'm not good at out terrific promo anyway do check it out. People do love it and sonal. It's it's really funny uncomfortable. Hi My name is Sarah Silverman and I feel grateful to be about being con. On an O'Brien you almost had it. You almost had it. The PAS was so dramatic it really pulled me in my heart was pounding and then you said grateful and I was so happy and and you said about to be within a WHO an a Ha. I find the mistakes to be the the back to school. suess books. Kintu Hello Conan. O'Brien welcome to Conan. O'Brien needs a friend podcast where we take advantage of the the fact that you can't see my face no it's actually nice. It's very I don't know it's very relaxing. Tests show people are very happy when when they're not looking at my broad Irish face. But let's talk about you guys because I don't do this podcast alone and we got a lot of comments that I should know. I seriously a lot of male male coming in actual mail. Yeah real mail coming in which is unusual but a lot of very old people that don't know about the Internet I should do on now. I don't do it alone and I wouldn't want to do it alone because I got my spouse here with me. Assume assessing my trusty assistant Hassan Ohio. Hello Hello I said Hello Weird and I mainstay Matt our producer Hell stutter and sonal. Many of us have celebrated our New Year. I understand there's an and Armenian New Year Armenian Christmas oh Susan are meaning Christmas but not intermediate New Year there is no. There's I don't believe there's an army new. Your don't I don't believe you grew up in this culture. I know there's a lot about it. I still don't really know the basic stuff which is share is Armenian. Yeah Landau Lando calories. Yeah he is so is Doctor Jack. Kevorkian and the Kardashians are half and all four members of system of a down own. Yes Down Rock Group and we got some good ones some good ones. You Got Kevorkian and Dr Doctor Death. We got Dr Death. I would list the people that are in the Irish category. But while there's there's a lot of good and bad mixed in there so I won't do that. How do you identify Gowrali scotch-irish scotch-irish yeah little tight with a buck? Let's the old people think Scotch. You know. There are a little tight with the wallet. No I didn't know. What are you frugal? I wouldn't say I am okay. Don't think you've ever picked up the around. No that's true. No I'm being serious check when you're around around. I bought concessions. We went to the movie that time. That's Nice oh you but concessions okay never forgiven. The Guy Ricard. SNOWCAP is what you're saying boxes snow. You got me a single raising at this more than anybody. Nobody else is whenever I take river take you out Gowrali you always. You took a Napkin into here shirt and then you start ordering the best best wines you go for the best steak. I thought we were on a date now. I thought it was being wined and dined. Yeah nothin happened afterwards. That's for sure I'll Hala. I'll pay you back. Are you disappointed. Nothing happened yeah. Wait a minute that flew by me. Yeah you should pay attention really messed out many times. Most people probably profess their love. And you've never heard it. I don't know I've never paid for anything for you. It's true I mean I've gotten gifts and stuff you give me gifts. Christmas dismiss cardinal came back. Yeah no because you put your name on the set myself. Why did I send the card? And there's no there's actually really a message with the post office a gory tries to contact me that I have you done a security so they probably actually scan the letter. Five different times came back into my wife. What did you have my right address? I did but I don't know what happened. Did you put a stamp on it. Yeah if you put a stamp on it and you had my correct address then it should have come to me. I'll bring it to you. Sure you had the correct address I believe so. I think I know what happened. And I'll clear it up after I see what happened. You live in a safe vows. No you probably assumed. Oh here's CONAN's house. That's where he gets his male. I say yeah but I get my mail. And Catalina I take a boat to Catalina. I gotta get my mail. It's a security precaution. Okay a lot of angry podcasts. People out there I gotta I gotTa lay low so you take a boat to Catalina Alina yes I have my destiny trick people if I wanted to kill you. I would find your way to make that both think I was just saying if I I don't know what are you talking about. You see me every day if you want to kill me you just get me with a stapler when I'm standing there a stapler or whatever stapled to the jugular. Do it in prison prison. Yeah but I don't want them to suspect. Why did you bring up killing him? That was kind of out of nowhere it was. I thought he meant like that was awkward. I'm sorry I thought we were talking about murdering you really. I always think we're talking about murdering heads when I asked you for a roast beef sandwich. You're like Oh we're talking about murdering you when they say hey. Did you hear beyonce's new album. You're like hey we're talking about murdering. I don't know why I think of you and I think a murderer. I think we should get into our first guest today an in an essay I said I guess but only guest. Yeah and you don't need another guest when you have this guest. Because she's the guest of all the guests possible exception of Chris. Guest Yeah I'm intoxicated very excited. I guess today's an Emmy Award winning comedian. Who's been in the comedy world for over twenty five years from Senate live? The Larry Every Sanders show the Sarah Silverman program. This doesn't give it away. I don't know what would and Disney's Ralph. I am thrilled. She's here with us today. I so admire this person and have so much affection for Sarah Silverman Welcome Sarah you fucking crazy but like I'll go. I think I don't want to be sharp. I you're holding a red ball awesome by and I got a sugar free Red Bull and now I've had maybe even half of it which is a lot for me and I'll look in crazy. You're going to see that foam is coming out of your eyes right now. A bone a blue foam. I love it you're here now people wight Shit on the corner of their mouth. I get on the corner of my eyes. Yeah all right. Here's the thing. I think we are friends because I don't go to a lot of parties I really don't I get sort of Nauru. I and you throw a party through Party party recently and I told my wife this is the party. I WanNa go to Sarah Silverman's having a party it's in L.. A. It's on a rooftop of a building and apartment building. I won't say where that seems to be populated by exclusively old people and you. Yeah every time. I've been there before and it's mostly octogenarians wandering around in the lobby and then you go up and you take this elevator. and Old people are looking at you suspiciously and you get to the top and it's one of the greatest parties he's ever you have the best party. It's fantastic every time I've been and you had a hand drawn sign when you're walking fast. I said do not solicit for your podcast. No podcast soliciting podcast. Soliciting and I did not do that. That would happen eventually eventually. I didn't mean it personally or just I just wanted to be a place where no one's dreading a conversation or you know. A lot of people have podcasts S.. There yes I think everybody their podcast and I witnessed Marc Maron talking to Albert Bert Brooks and Marc Maron wasn't soliciting. But I think you could tell that Albert Brooks has been asked a bunch of times. Albert was like giving a microphone. We'll do it now just like they were talking about and it was clear that this was a back story. Everybody there had a podcast and was lying. Join who could be on their podcast. No they weren't really. It was a very nice party. Yeah it's just such a good mix of people nice people anyone who goes I feel like they'll they'll know at least four people and then they'll meet at least four people yes I wish there wasn't so nasal. What if I talked to like this? I was surprised the Saudi Prince Who Murdered Kashogi was there? I didn't realize you guys were close. You know what people see. Only that side of him is loves. I said you know so you murdered. He was like you know I'm more than that. And you jump to his defense and said he is and he always said he also is a good cook. He's just fun fun. Party Jared Kushner. Why was he? They're they're starting to. It was very alright party. The only thing that surprised Sean Hannity was there air. Yeah Hannie and he was I love. You Sera No. It really was a wonderful evening. You've been in that building for a while mile and do the older people that live there understand like what's going on when you have these parties. Since I moved in three people have died died of old age on my floor but I like being like the kid you know I like it and I like apartment living. I can't. It's so do you know when I go to my friend's houses go well like the whole house. You know and I go why I should live like this but then I just I don't like daft have too much space. I mean I guess in a perfect world. I'd love to have like a meadow or something but yard. No one has a meadow meadow in New Hampshire. We lived across a meadow. Just nobody owned. Did you see a deer drinking from a stream yet. Yes wow yeah. There's some deer mostly in the winter. You'd see like deer in the Orient. you see their their footprints and then you just see one thing of footprints ends and that was when I was carrying and then sometimes Jesus would carry you as you carried the deer. Yeah did you remember that. Yeah yes and I want to do this with you. Won't make comedy. Let's not do that. And you know what. There's too much comedy. Don't you think there's too much comedy and I think that's why I started. This podcast is to try and stop it. I like to get very funny people here and then get them talking about serious issues. Let's get serious. Let's get uncomfortable. no-one no-one says that with that tone one of voice. I always forget that. You and Sandler are from New Hampshire. Because you don't seem anyone listening right now has a perception. Shen of what. Someone from New Hampshire is like then Sarah Silverman and Adam Sandler don't fit that mold. We don't represent New Hampshire. Well Seth Meyers to from there. He's from the same town. Because we're from Manchester. And then we moved to Bedford stuff. I could kind of see it. I could see him wearing a hat with ear flaps. Tragedy big thick boots. I could just to see a little bit. I know what you're saying. Adam and I are big fat Jews and you. Just don't see that in Hampshire said it and I couldn't let me do this for Korea letting me do this far you thanks for finishing my sentence. People all growing up. When I was growing up in New Hampshire they'd go where in New Yorker worker from and I'd go what's New York? I'm from a year and then you know so now I realize it's because they go. Jews are from New York and the right yes but I didn't know she's Jenny on the block. She's means she's from Brooklyn. She's from Staten Island. She's you know what I mean. I lost my virginity in a story. Acquaints Breath Really WanNa talk about that or should we just maybe not top tier. I was I was a comedian to comedian. Okay this is Jeff Dunham. Yeah was it was at Jeff Dunham or one of his puppets does he have the puppets with him. It was the skeleton like Turbine Guy. Just like you revealed that it was Sir guy. With puppets and Pros Gallagher to gallagher elegant to is who Hugh Gallagher Sold His yes gallagher soldiers hall act to his brother Yes and they called him gallagher too. I remember hearing the radio ADS and they did it in a tricky way. They go do you like gallagher. I like gallagher too hill. And he's playing at Blah Blah Blah. Oh piss for those people when they showed up and it was a different guy who looked like gallagher smashing mellon could they they know. Yeah Ah there was no disappointment at all. Yeah okay well losing virginity in one thousand nine hundred a little later that really. How old are you? Ah during Obama's second term Syria. Were you under twenty three. Yes twenty parents. Listen to this. And I'm still Jill Hyper Catholic. Positive your parents this year right into it. Yes I was under twenty one I was under twenty saw good. You know you're seventeen seventeen. Let's just say was a magical moment in my life was not a comedian. I wasn't in the comedy world then Dan. I wanted to be in the comedy hall. I wanted we had to go there. Our guest is Jim backus playing Thurston Howell the fall lovey. You did impression. That's a good one. Oh lovey let me start by saying something very positive and when I say start right I mean we've already been talking. We start recording. I think we've been taught recording for over four hours. You know I love. I love a lot of things about you. Do you do something real. I thought was hilarious on my show recently. which is you came on dressed as Hitler and you were upset that people were comparing bring you to trust? That was so great but I thought there was a somebody's idea on your staff a really. Oh my God I didn't know you but you in love today it credit for a but I may have tweaked to thing here or there. Whatever we're but like no the idea was someone? I wish you were Whoever thought of it you're the only person that could do it? And it was clear and you came out of the cell hat. Do you came out. And first of all you were a very attractive Hitler which was confusing And confused me for a while but then your attitude was just very eh reasonably upset that people keep. Yeah it was bad but I'm not that bad and it was so funny and there's a lot of Political comedy that I admire. It's just that it can get very shrill and angry and this was visually so silly and so wrong and so well played that I just thought yeah in a way that that's the kind of political comedy alike. Just it's it's absurdist noticed and somehow to me it speaks to me more than if you would just come out and had fifteen trump jokes and l.. I prefer aggressively aggressively dumb. And silly you know especially if you might have something quote unquote to say because otherwise you just. If if it doesn't visions dozens isn't sandwiched with really dumb Shae. You're just I feel like as a viewer I'd be like fuck you. Yeah well this is. What's interesting right now in comedy is that? There's there's this expectation that if you're not speaking truth to power as a comic you're copping out of the big struggle right now and I think what's interesting being your first job as a comedian is to be funny and then you've got to figure out how to reconcile that with what's happening but you can't just get mad because then you're not a comedian anymore. So it makes sense but it's so silly because doing comedy is figuring out like what you care about what you're interested. I didn't what you want to talk about. So it's like I had a comic friend. Call me and he was like I feel like I'm not talking about what's going on in the world and like I I like I'm my stuff isn't about anything political and I feel like guilty about it and I was like that's such a gift you know like people the need that I remember my mom before she i. I'm not glad you died. Obviously but like in a way. I'm relieved she didn't see like she died. Thinking Hillary Hillary or burning were gonNA be residential wages before that so like but she would watch msnbc not she was the opposite of the Fox News like she and constantly on that like daily coast and she would get so worked up. And I'd be like mom you have to sometimes just watch a bones. I something like for me. I watch law and order or something like but you've gotta it's now healthy to just be until jump in and say I don't think she should've watched a bone. Yeah I'm okay with law and order. Okay bones I liked the first two seasons and then they lost me so I'm glad that I hope that's not what your mother was doing. When she passed away? You know she was struggling debris actually kid I god well there we go sorry mom no no. You're not sorry that it was so good. I don't know how we get out of this mess. which is is progress we go? I always say I'm the we've been here before school. which is maybe Asana? cop-out maybe like during the Weimer Republic Blah civil war. Yeah I'm not saying it's good that we're here but I think that as humans we've been here before and we have to get ourselves out of it. Well well yeah I mean I think that after World War Two there is a lot of kind of self reflection. Never forget easiness and We forgot to never forget. Unlike facing history and ourselves is something that has not touched this generation and beyond and and and so like everything's repeating because our leaders live unexamined lives and we suffer from their choices based on daddy issues. I know but I'm going to enlighten things. Now let's talk about someone. We both love Garry shandling. Yeah and I was unaware her I found out I actually. I knew that you had a connection with Gary and you guys were reconnected. But when Garry shandling passed away I thought you were one of the most eloquent people will speaking about him in the documentary did and also. He did such a good job he did he did. It's not my place to use this word but I really thought we did was a Mitzvah. Gary it was just this big. Hey everybody shut up for a second and pay attention to this person. Who is Gary Tailing? Because you need to understand how special he was. But you were terrific. I thought you were great just talking about Gary as a person that you played basketball with. Who's your comedy mentor and spent a lot of time teaching you about comedy hoping you he had the patience to say yes? I will sit seat with you and I will talk to you and I will play basketball with you but also talked to you about stuff you're going through and what you're trying to do is a comic. Oh yeah and he he. He learned everything he learned. You learned really the hard way just like so many of us with lots of things but what he learned he kind of gave gave us on a silver platter. You know the lessons that you know a lot of things that sometimes you have to go through it yourself but he. He was very generous. Yes the things that he she kind of learned in a much harder way than I remembered him helping me I had to host something. No when you hosted the AMI's Rud e wrote in the back. Yes but he also came to me before. We don't think I ever laughed harder in my life. He did the I just asked. I him to participate in this bit. where I start to fall in love with Jennifer Aniston? She sitting in the audience and I start to get distracted and fall in love with her and then Brad Pitt is sitting next next to her and the camera swings to him and east staring at me with hate. And then you cut to me being rattled and then you see me turn and fall in love with someone even more deeply and it was gary sorry and it worked great and Gary played it perfectly and then we cut to the montage of us on the horse which was really fun but what he did. He showed up for that session just to shoot the scene on the horse. Listen he said what do you got for your monologue. Would he got. Let's go through it and like a really good piano teacher. He had me go through all. My jokes really thoughtfully not Sycophantic Dick or not in like. Oh that's just great man by like Yup that one's good Yeah that one He was just like a doctor looking at your Chart Generous Generous and love debt. Yeah Kevin Neal and tells a story about them all playing basketball maybe you and is this. And then Lily like a bug like a lady bug or something was crossing and he made everybody stop up the blog and carried it off the court because he didn't want this little bug get mash and when I play basketball I try to use the ball to hit any creature I can do you remember in New England i. I don't think you're that much older than me. But there was a summer of any seven years. There is a summer where monarch butterflies the caterpillars before they turn into monarch butterflies blue in in en masse and they were they covered everything. They covered the whole driveway. Everything and I remember my sister and I we could. We would play basketball before dinner and you couldn't even dribble a ball without like killing five of them. You don't remember that I remember. My Dad brought us all each a flame thrower thrower and we just. That's not true. He brought them. He got them government issue and we were just watering the neighborhood and these things would try and fly. Just inflames. The whole air air was filled with just flame. You're doing funny comedy bet. Is it funny or did you just put quotes around. Funny I think you did. You put quotes around funny. I think in a way we all did. I don't remember the Monitor. I wish I really looking for a connection with you. You're never gonNA get got it. I'm damaged. Let's take a break and I'm gonNA get some help. That hiring can can be challenging right. SONAL yeah wow make one mistake it sticks with you for a decade. But there's one place you can go. Hiring is simple. Oh come on. I'm just giving the old very specific because I've been here for a decade and it sounds very specific. Yeah it was a mistake. I wasn't meaning you. I was meaning being. Someone else. Looks like you anyway okay. Hiring is challenging. And so there's one place you can go hiring simple fast. Smart we're growing. Businesses is connected to qualified candidates. It's just where you go zip recruiter come on right yeah. It's good yeah. It is Cafe L. tourists. Coo Dylan Miss Go. It's this is a guy who experienced just. How challenging hiring can be after unsuccessfully searching for a director of coffee for his organic coffee company when he had a hard time then switched ziprecruiter and man? I'm told the Dylan Miss Quits. His life completely changed right. He was like Jimmy Stewart in. It's a wonderful life when he's Clarence the angel comes it just completely. I'll watch on here. Joe Yeah what are you ziprecruiter. Well I oh wow. You're changing my whole life here ziprecruiter. You can get qualified candidates faster. It's great with results like that. It's no wonder four out of five. Employers who post on Ziprecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Wow Oh yeah like Dylan Moskowitz Ziprecruiter. The smartest way to hire. And that's right. See why Ziprecruiter is effective for businesses. This is of all sizes it worked for DYLAN MOSKOWITZ TRY Ziprecruiter for free at our web address ziprecruiter dot com slash coenen. That's ziprecruiter dot com slash CONAN. Do It's a good thing ziprecruiter out joke around the line with the ADS. And and I think that's fine but this this next Service talk about is Something I think is really important. It's called better help. This is cool. Better help offers. Licensed professional counselors who were specialized in issues like depression. Anxiety relationship difficulties trauma anger family conflicts. We'll have those lgbt matters grief self-esteem you name it. You get to talk to a trained professional you connect with your professional counselor in a safe and private online online environment. Get help at your own time your own pace everything that you say is confidential It's so convenient. You can schedule secure video or phone sessions as well as chat tax with your therapist for any reason this is also important. You're not totally happy with the counselor that you wind up with you. You can request a new one at any time. No additional charge. It's this is something that's near and dear to my heart this issue. I think a lot of people out there struggle Braga and have difficulty. I know I have and having access to someone you can talk to is huge and you'll find out really quickly quickly. You're not the only person that feels this way. So I'm not kidding around about this one it's an affordable option and Better help it's a great idea. CONAN O'Brien needs a friend listeners. Even get ten percent off your first month with Discount Code Conan so seriously. Actually if you are at all curious I get started today. Go to better help dot com slash CONAN. Then you fill out a questionnaire which will help them assess your needs needs and you get matched with the counselor You'll love so that's better help dot com slash CONAN. And I'm not screwing around I. I think this is Ah Trick to help people We're back Like that yeah interesting Things those were ads that we just ran. I'd like to buy some of those or sign up for that really. Do want fracture print. Those are on glass seven hundred ads for frontier. And I mentioned the right now and I don't. I'm not even getting paid if a photograph is nine glass. Then you're an ass is that that's their fright. That's the line. They use it fracture. Yeah I feel like you made that up. But now what's surly if it's not printed on something shiny you should shove it up your highness. That's an actual quote for fracture and please don't put fracture sure glass. A picture of Jim backus. Then you should shove it all up beard. Guess I don't think any arable but it's going to air we're just going out there and but I say Air I think it's a podcast. It doesn't air does it. Language hosted gets posted. That's so sad downloaded that just sounds so bloodless what kind of show business are we in. Now I don't want to be in show business where there's a crowd and this and this is going out on the air we don't want to be making stuff that's Downloaded loaded It's been posted is that I mean I feel it gets the way you're saying because you could be like you download it and we'll post it. Yeah thank you so it's the way I'm saying you you planted three in Israel depends on how oh you say oh you do need to. Because it saved hundreds of thousands of nine uh-huh cured cancer and saved a whole species reading of curvy skill to kid go to school in Africa. Will actually that does sound stupid. The coffee how good is the coffee. The coffee is really good. What comes first? These are questions that need to be asked not by me but by someone who has nothing to loose no doubt Alexa to promote anything. But I would like to offer myself. I would love to do this. This is regional. But I always want to sing this. I don't WanNa blow it Ninety four seven the way You think they'd let me do that. I think you just. Did they still do it at her. Do they still do that. That's the song song and wanted to take the data way. What is it now? Therefore server move h-have yeah that was great one. You wonder if we're going to get any money. We hit harmonize seven. He go. Hi You Google. Oh okay now away. You just sing the melody. I can't do it. I don't think I can do ninety four four seven the wave all right here. We go ninety four seven Listen we've probably lost with this whole ninety four seven the wave thing. I encourage you to come back. I encourage you. You've probably pulled your car. That's we've been talking the eight hours this is going to be a marathon. You're here for a long time smiletrain. You're not that's just one of those forty four hour. You don't leave until I have a full Capri fisherman's beard. Did I ever tell you that I have. I feel like a good podcast story about Uber but maybe I did tell. It's here maybe zone. You're about me me want it. Yeah Yeah okay I I mean this is vulnerable but of course it was a lifetime ago so as you were doing your show in in New York. We're single and I always had boyfriends difference but I was suddenly single and then I came to do your show and I brought my best friend. Heidi and there's you know when you were a woman. A young woman. I I had such a prowess. I was so uber confident in my sexuality and like I mean I think this was good for me so anyway I go. I was coming to your show and I say to my friend. Heidi I'M GONNA make out with Conan after the show. Sure tonight it wasn't even like I'm GonNa try or I have a crush on him. It was just a choice that I was making heading into the show. I and it was so arrogant. Said diety we're in the dressing room and I go. Yeah GonNa make out with Conan and so. Can you get your own ride at home. I said to hide you go. You'RE GONNA have to get your own right home like take a cab home or the subway. Just let's make that plan now here so uncomfortable incredibly uncomfortable comfortable with also. This was twenty something years. That's what I'm pleased. I'm very intrigued. Yeah I am incredibly intrigued and and so you come in because you'd always come in to say hello and you. I adored you and I was in sex kitten mode which is not rare. It's rare because I almost always as a I would always have a boyfriend so I would only be like I didn't see the other men as sexual beings ever. It was very rare and so you come and I'm like I like touched. Your tie and I was like I like your tie. Yeah and you go things and you go. Guess what Galore and you go. I'm engaged. You just got engaged Elisa like that day or the before and I immediately go using. But I'm trying my best friend in the corner of the room die laughing and she's a loose loose cannon so I was while I was saying like that's amazing. I'm so happy for you and I was of course but like we do so afraid she was going to a say something a minute. Wait a minute what you're saying that I was blocked by my wife by Liza I. I'm just thinking of what could have happened except the mother of my children. I don't say arrogantly confident for so I listen. If were it not not for the woman whose name I will not mention. Because she's on my shitless. Now I said that'd be hilarious terror of having a loose cannon then friend like Heidi just right behind you holding her stomach. She's dying laughing and like me being so scared urge you is GonNa say something. Imagine I mean would that okay. We just play a little game here. Just as creepy old man must surely be married married. Listen let's say I hadn't said that. Let's say I hadn't met Lizzie yet. Would we have made out. And how would that have happened. happened I'd have taken you to a red. Neg You like. It says to in the book the game of negative said. Oh Your Lips. You're so thin and will. Oh I'm not very in touch with the girl I once was but you know I don't. I don't think the nagging would've worked for me. I think I would have been like you're right. A bitter go best respond to the nagging. Wow that's great that makes me. I've never I've never heard that I've never heard that story and I love that story and wondering if any other people out out there have a similar story about me you know. You're all flush and your posture were in you know having new. Now I'm like AAC The grinch at the end of the I can lift twenty times my own weight right now because Sarah Silverman just said she entertained the idea of making out with you. Should I would take that as a compliment doing. Because that's your so brilliant and funny and tall and you're attractive but and not to take anything away but there was a time in my youth you know back in my twenties like that where I just was very free sexually and I would just in my when I was single. I'd be like what are his balls. Look like what is. Ball's look like what is ball's look like you know. And and so you really was it. Just I I want to see their testicles. So I think because I lost my virginity late you know like at nineteen I was like. Oh my God I love this. I love this form of connection. I like the way it feels. I like the the power I feel from it. Probably that I articulate could articulate that and so I was very lake free gluttonous alertness. Three and curious unlike didn't now I feel I'm now single now and I i. It's different like I feel very. I almost have like a fear. Fear of men lately you know like I was I. Just I just always organically had long term boyfriends and I am very very much enjoying being alone I love love I really do but I just do you. Another feeling of It's kind of an actor. He may be feeling or know anybody like your next Gig is then you're stressing in you're are not enjoying your free time and inevitably you do get your next Gig but if you know I have a Gig in a month like a long-term Gig you can enjoy that month so like like I feel like my person is GonNa come get me and in the meantime I'm really like maybe overly enjoying being. Ah I need to be alone as a person anyway regularly every day and but like and just loving doing anything I want at all times and disappointing. Nobody else lovely. It's odd being a woman my age. I'm in my late forties ladies. It's just odd. It's I don't have many single peers. I haven't felt I've been feeling unsafe lately. Whitney Whitney Cummings. I don't remember what the joke part of it but she. She made a point that so I realized it didn't occur to me that men didn't that men. Why would men think about this? You know because you but like you may be don't realize like when we do spots around town comedian women comedians. It's scary walking back to your car it or like. It's scary like walking back to my hotel last night. Like I I keep Mace. You know I'm a positive person and I I love people and I like talking to strangers but like I I hold mason my hand to come so I can just feel safe. You know but it's so different well in the in the last couple of years the biggest thing I've been saying to myself I don't know I don't know what it's like. I just don't know what it's it's like and and no one's looking for an answer from me. I need to shut up and listen because I don't know I understand that perspective with people of Color. Yeah Yeah I don't know and so when there are times where I have to say. Wait a minute I'm guy a male. I'm six foot four war away about one hundred ninety five pounds and I'm never scared when I walk to my awesome. Well the thing is I take it for granted because I've never had had that I don't have it and so it takes a second to stop and shut up and then see. Oh I have no India. What it's like? I know what it was like for me to be a comedy writer coming up in the eighties and nineties and things felt hard for me and I. We have no fucking idea how hard it was for women. Here's a very recent example. Did you have to punch in a code to when we both went to P.. Oh you did. How no but I use the women's room routinely find it ironic when I was at SNL? The one year I was there. There was a code. You had to punch in to use the ladies room and of course the men's room was just open and that was four. There's a reason they had to put a thing that had a code on knowing this building code on the guides thing as well which surprised me because they've never had to. I don't remember putting a code in women's room so I just urinated on the floor outside the men's room right which was my way of showing them. I think. Dare you inconvenience me. Yeah it's so interesting seeing the role the roles changing between the right in the left. And but it's the same play you know and like I. I want to be rooting for people like I just. I don't see what it does to just vilify someone and not just and not. I hope hope for that people I know I grow and change. I would assume a twenty year old might grow in J.j or like I had a massage and this guy was very earnest very good but I my porcupine needles were up. I was lying on on my stomach. And you're naked under the thing and he was doing these long motions like a up my thought by and he was like a millimeter. From my Labia you know and then even poked it a couple times and it was you know and it's so scary very to say anything and I know for a fact he wasn't trying to touch like the the my he wasn't being he wasn't trying to gratify no. There's no long very deep but I know that he wasn't intention like really matters. But it also made me super uptight and so I never have done this but I I turned around and I go. Could you not touch my vagina. Yeah and then he was like. Oh my God I'm so sorry. I can't do accents. It was like I'm so sorry I go I. It's it's just it's not at all relaxing feeling like you're about like you know it's not relaxing and 'cause I'm sorry I'm so sorry I go. It's okay and then he finished the massage. It was good and then at the end I said Oh thank you so much goes. I'm I'm so sorry and I go. I'm so glad I said something now. Like we both can feel better about it and like eating me and like it was. I could've just bottled it up and then like tweeted something about this masseuse. That was interesting. mean it wasn't intentional. And they'll he'll be more aware of it and he was a good person. A great masseuse Sousse you know and I just I see more opportunities to be that way. I'm not saying like be like me with my masseuse who touched my vagina. But you can tell you when the intention is not to cop a feel or is not to hurt someone and maybe they still are anyway but you can. You can give them a chance like v like hey you know when you do this. It's it's causing this reaction and I would want to know and then you go. Oh fuck right. Yeah I can change that. You know like I met this guy who's a Neo Nazi ex Neo Nazi question Christian Pursue Rail Christian Pizza Lima. Oh and he's no longer that for for years now. His whole purpose of life is getting people out of hate groups helping people get out of hate groups and it's incredible but four years from when he was fourteen to twenty nine or something he he did terrible hate crimes he a violent hate crimes he was involved in right. And this is someone you can interact with now. Oh I I love him yeah. He's so special. He's amazing and I and I think because people have been introduced to him as this former this who's now this has dedicated gated to this. You can forgive the the that because he's beak it's it's led him to become this amazing person right. We're in a moment now where we met him then right but also what happens if he has changed. But someone comes forward and says here's a picture of you at a hate rally. ooh He'll post pictures of that right but yeah of course you know what I mean the idea being that people I got tired of of in my teens and Twenties and thirties and into my forties. I was extremely judgmental about comedy. I wish I had known that. I don't know if it's a biochemical thing like testosterone or something has to drop something has to just near balls by balls and I know you're fascinated with testicles as you said earlier yeah I guess so. I have drawings miracle like when you're cold they go up high towards your body to stay warm. They go in your body. Sometimes you're frightened. They go up inside your body they can go up inside. I've put them. I've shoved them up there sometimes. In terms of great danger I have to stick for that purpose. And if you're very hot they go get some cool right and when you get older they go really low I know can talk them into your socks. SOx unbelievable I really think if I was a man if I I would wear tighty whiteys just the way we like. We wear bras. Because I I I know I know someone who only wore boxers and his his balls are very low and he's super depressed about it really. Yeah they touch water and he's depressed about that. Yeah Jim out. But you think I think if he'd been wearing protective. I think if you wore tighty whiteys instead of boxers boxers. His whole life his balls would not be as low. We're about a boxer. Briefs say like a SAX company that makes a boxer brief that puts the testicles in a pouch and I mentioned them because they're sponsor on the show I think that's probably real smart. They in case the testicles in a special pouch wearing them now are you really good. I'd love to see that would be disrespectful to my wife. Yeah so yeah she's lovely and she's a great person. How long have you it has been together? Well we've been together ninety four nineteen years one thousand nine years we've been together and we've been married seventeen years. Wow Aw yeah. I'll never forget the day that I propose to her. I said she said don't don't you have something to ask me. 'cause they see you have a ring. Is that true. Hold it and I said yeah but I I need to go make out with Sarah Silverman on on and she said First things first so you thought I was going to be sincere about something as I was like holding my heart. No I don't have a human heart or soul. There's nothing in here through when you told me the whole story like you went to a bit in the office space where she worked and no. I didn't know who you were chanting. Yeah no I I I met her. I met her on a remote and shooting remote and I stopped trying to be funny and then I just just started asking her about her life. And then it's all you can look it up online Conan meets his wife and then we dated for year and a half or so and got engaged. And you're on the show with your friend. I think John Oliver met his wife that way. It's really only reason to get into comedy when when a guy says I'm off to shoot a remote. He's really just looking for a spouse right and God forbid lies ever left me. I'd probably some would say Kony GonNa get out there and date again. I would say well. I'm just going to go shoot more remotes having these just shoot. That's how I meet him. That's my method Lincoln. Do you like being here was fun. Yeah I get tax you forever. I'm sure it's a way overstayed my. Oh this has been really good. This has been great or anything you wanted to say to me about my odor or F- my anything no I'm pretty neutral. When it comes to odor ah I feel like you were saying something about balls and I'd take it to another direction? I was saying that there is boxer. Brief the boxer briefs or the way to go. Yeah really. There wasn't really anything. Sorry why would I bring it back to them and you say tighty whiteys and then you just look like homer Simpson in his underwear. No one wants to do that. You want a boxer brief and I think this is the way to go that sanctions two axes chamber that holds the. They had me until the spelling. They really are a sponsor and they keep sending US underwear. So it's only for men because it's got that pocket. Yeah I mean they make something for women but I know that they pride themselves on a special chamber especial devised Fiction Chamber Pouch. I called it chamber number. I like giving it almost. Like it's I've my testicles. Retired to their chamber door yeah panic right. Testicles need to confer about at this important landmark case so they've retired to their chamber. That's how I look at it. You're a lovely person. I keep saying the word lovely. I like it. I'm I just love. Having you here was really nice. I'm going I didn't want you to leave now. girlies here cop blocking me. Well speaking of that I have it from Adam. It's called the ballpark pouch for sacks. Yeah have it from Adam sacks of Adam saks the producer and this is yeah. There's a diagram of it right. There see that special chamber. This is a diagram. We're looking down into the underwear a three-dimensional almost like some webbing. Yeah Yeah it's webbing. That holds the testicles in place wait a minute and then your penis is also in there. Well the penises sort of attached yet an auto auto claim that you've seen a lot of these. Yes it's all part of the same thing the penises a shaft that you have to go one side or the other but this is now in the POW. While in the Ballpark Pouch. I think they could actually improve on this. I think there could be a A pouch for the testicles. And then I think there could be a separate area. that the the shaft Nina's descends down into where it's wrapped in its own cocoon know why that's just too constricting. The have you ever wore socks with the separate toes. Jose right yeah I feel like it would be like that. No I've given this a lot of fun. A mitten not a glove I still think chamber and then a separate separate shaft that it falls down into the container store and I'm always going to the container store door and they always. They always quickly realize what I'm asking for two smaller chambers if you will and not a a longer shaft like plastic now if two could connect and then like get the fuck Outta here pervert. They always I've been chased Shea said of the container store more times than I care to admit we are going to wrap this up. Thank you so much for doing this. And Joy and down. You'll come to a party at my house next time right you'd come to my house. Yeah I've been to your house now you've been there but you'll come again. Yeah or too many paintings of me in my ask always wanted to get the props department just giant paintings and put them everywhere in. My House is a joke on fractured appeared glass. Oh it is the best way Shin Yes- best way to experience. Any photograph is on glass. Idiot knows that fracture got to help. These sponsors are on this episode. They might not be probably freebies. I mean in Los Angeles Earthquakes Stuff D. One apple out of glass on the wall. Yes what that's a really good point. No one's ever brought that up before. That's something to bring up with fracture fracture. No you just brought up. A great reason. Why fracture shouldn't work? Mark got a sponsor. Not On that. If you're in California where there's a lot of earthquakes have all of your photographs transferred to sharp glass. Ask Him above your fracture. A good idea most places not in Los Angeles where are you can get killed by shards of here grandchildren. A shard of Steph just went right through my jugular all right Sarah Silverman. Thank you very much. This was amidst for good yontef shuttle. Sit GONNA Brian Needs. A friend is sponsored by ADT real protection from ADT is personalized smart home security with a system that fits you're unique needs and trust me. I have unique. Needs a lot of people try and come in through the window. Just shake my hand. I don't know if that's true. Well it's pretended attended his ADT HD video doorbell let you know who's at your front door from virtually anywhere right from the ADT APP on your phone. That'd be helpful for me. Sometimes people come to the door relatives and stuff who I don't WanNa see so I can just hide under the bed. You just WANNA hide from people. I do the relatives okay. People from bank east. They fly all the way here and then he won't let him in your house. They actually invite them. Oh invite him to come see me but then I can tell with the the video that it's them at the door and hide. I don't know why I invite them. It seems cruel even send a ticket. Yeah but also. Adt lets you customize a leading in your home. It's got smart light. It's great you can even get professionally monitored carbon monoxide and smoke detectors. That's important safety. I I always say. Yeah you've always say yeah not often but when I do say something I say that real protections a team of professionals who helps safeguard your home with rapid connection to first responders twenty four seven. You know what that means no twenty four hours a day seven days a week you know that I know you're new to this country anyway. Come on number one. Smart Home Security Provider Helps You keep your a homesick cure. They got the. At go APP. I mean come on. What are you want they got it all? That's real protection at Adt to learn more visit at Adt dot com slash podcast. I gotta wear a lot of dress shirts. It's just part of my life. I Dunno dress. Shirts can be a real drag. Because they don't fit right you don't move. I have a very athletic body and I move frequently. I talk my torso twist and bend in three dimensions. I am very agile. Flexible and So are you just pretend okay and so when I wear shirts it's ridiculous. It's like the incredible hulk. They always get ripped torn earn. Because if I just even think about flexing this is true. The other day I was in a coffee shop and I- flexed a little bit and the shirt exploded came off my body and everyone in. This store applauded but I felt objectified like a piece of meat. Oh so I got some good news. Someone has made a better dress dress shirt and that person in Maine. You can't say normally I cannot say their name normally in Maine makes dress shirts for men that it actually very comfortable. It's the fit and the fabric it's well tailored and get this the fabrics breathe they stretch and important for me wick away moisture. You sweat a lot. I am very moist. Man God's leave it at that. I've been called swampy. It was my nickname swampy when I was a kid. Best of all their machine washable. Hey swampy get over here. What do you guys what? Why are you so moist not sure large pores anyway? These shirts are machine washable to make these pointless trips to the dry cleaner. Rick wrinkle resistant. What I said? RECCO versus wrinkle resistant makes them great for travel. So ditch the dry cleaner. Hey If if you've had a lifelong relationship with your dry cleaner and he's a kindly old man go to him right now and say we're through you'll never get my business again. Good elect retiring no more dry cleaner start wearing a dress shirt that is comfortable. Hetero means website. WW DOT COMFORTABLE DOT AF checkout. Check out those shirts. That's www dot comfortable af dot af use code Cohn at checkout. receive ten dollars off your order. I mean it definitely better tell look at a best nothing to do with Irish people. Sorry I acted like a pirate It's time to go to the phone bank. And listen to voicemails. Let's go all right. We'll hit coating Albert here from the walkie. Well the podcast recently. My wife and I'm on a little vacation of Boston and we found ourselves in Cambridge and we went to Mr Bar lease milkshake. I knew that you have a sandwich sandwich on the menu the Conan O'Brien which is Turkey with stuffing cranberry connective. Every someone creates a sandwich in your honor you kickoff on it or is it kind of a guess what he likes anchor bunch great work. Hey Albert from Milwaukee. This is an excellent question action and I'm glad that you asked it first of all. I remember this place very well from one. I was a student I would go there and I would always get the same thing. which WHO's a hamburger with this sort of barbecue sauce on it and that was my favorite thing and this is back when I was eighteen years old and being able to go into a restaurant and buy a hamburger seemed like had a huge deal and I would go there with the older guys on the Lampoon who I thought were so cool and I would get my hamburger and I thought man this? This is the life this is living. Life is never going to get better than this so I remember this restaurant very well absolutely not. no-one consulted me about the sandwich No one asked me about this sandwich now. It sounds like a delightful sandwich. It it sounds great and I think they were very kind to name a sandwich after for me because Harvard hasn't done shit you know there's no statue of me. There's no there's no Conan Hall. Do you know what I mean. That would be nice. It'd be nice to donate what's happening happen. I shouldn't have to donate. I've donated my life's work so no I believe there. There should be some kind of plaque or something somewhere there part for me but that's their call. That's Harvard call haven't they haven't presidence gone there. Yeah I mean do they have plaques and buildings named after them. I don't know how many hours on Youtube has John. Quincy Adams laws. Anybody want to answer that question. I've been searching. I've been searching and John F. Kennedy. He's got some fine speeches. I've got thousands and thousands of hours of me and my hijinks so so no president comes close to what I've accomplished on the Internet. And that's why I think there should be some kind of. I'm just being honest. I'm telling you what I think I think would be the appropriate of Harvard. Did that and so I leave that now. Up to the establishment to decide and for the students demand quite frankly. That's up to them. But I do remember this restaurant and no they never consulted me about the sandwich. But I'm glad they named a sandwich after me because at least it's something I've got a sandwich named after me at this restaurant. Do you think the cranberry sauce is a nod to the color of your hair. I think people over think it this is what I think. Now there are Delis where they'll say I remembered some Deli. New York briefly had a sandwich named after me before they decided not to so sad. It's the worst to have a sandwich and then having taken away trust me. There's no greater indignity achieving sandwich. And then having the sandwich discontinued they'd give it to another celebrity just completely wide. I think it's called like the foul and now you know but it was the stage daily stage at this stage might still be around. But the stage Deli had a Conan O'Brien and I remember it. It was like you know half a pound of Corny Bean. Aw and then with some and then I remember they think they tried really hard to come up with other puns and they made the Sandwich Sh. I went and had the sandwich once. It was a good sandwich but at least you know I'm not GonNa Dennis Sandwich was was was discontinued and then changed. I think To the Fallon Kimmel whatever the sides with a site. According I don't I don't know what happened but I think people over think these things and they think oh Turkey because cones kind of Turk. They overdo it no. They just made a nice sandwich. What would be your sandwich if you were to have one made? What would you have it be? I think it'd be like a quarter pound of pure excellence. God marinated in originality Sauce for seven weeks and then served up on some firm freckled abundance. Oh wait a minute I guess. WHOA now I hate me yeah? I just stepped outside myself I hate myself but but no I is it. It's is it Barclay's or Barclays Barclays Barclays. I don't think he said I think it's Barclays It's been a long time on. Haven't been back there but I do want to thank them for naming a sandwich after me and please this. I'd like people in that area of Cambridge and just Greater Boston pressure Harvard. It doesn't have to be a big statue. It can be one eighth size. It makes you want the food there named after me. Let's just put it at that but really good question Albert from Milwaukee and I thank you CONAN. O'Brien needs a friend. Essien and Conan O'Brien as himself produced by me Matt Gorlic executive produced by Adam Saks and jeff. Ross Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Chris Ben and at Ear Wolf theme song by the White Stripes incidental music by Jimmy Vena. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer samples. The show's engineered by will becton. You can rate and review this show on apple podcasts. And you might find your review featured on a future episode got a question for Conan call. The team Coco hotline at three two. Three four five five one two eight two one and leave a message it could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend on apple podcasts. STITCHER or wherever fine. PODCASTS are downloaded. This has eighteen cocoa production in association with.

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1: Meet Stephanie,  Meet Harris (with Sarah Silverman & Aziz Ansari)

Last Day

42:00 min | 1 year ago

1: Meet Stephanie, Meet Harris (with Sarah Silverman & Aziz Ansari)

"Before we get started we WANNA thank our presenting sponsor new chapter. This podcast we hope is all about starting a new chapter in the opioid crisis one where shared humanity and solutions create hope and community the journey to self care and a kind of approach to solving epidemics can often start with small L. and simple changes in the way we treat each other and ourselves by new chapter at the Vitamin Shoppe wholefoods your local health food store or online with trusted retailers like Vita Vita cost. I'm Harris. I'm thirty three years young. I have my cousin Jason's truck for two more weeks. I have one testicle whack-a-mole the accident and I'm down clown. That's my brother. Harris whittles playing a character named Harris the Animal Control Guy on a show called parks and recreation. He wrote comedy for people like as sorry I would say he was was a lovable uniquely. Funny Person Amongst a group of incredibly uniquely Funny Lovable People and Sarah Silverman one of the really special things about Harris not only that he's so original and so funny is his his fucking audacity and his nerve he comes to me and says I need four days off because I'm going I'm I WANNA go see a bunch of fish concerts and I had already made the plan look at him. Like are you fucking kidding me and I'm Stephanie Woodall's Wax. This is last day relatively relatively normal person. I'm married to the sky and low the packages the luggage did you every morning. I say sentences like AAC brush your teeth and put on your shoes about eight hundred times before driving small people to school and my minivan best best car. I've ever had truly I shamelessly love this cliche of a car and the small people there's is this one. We're GONNA have a birthday for me and this one. He's one. Oh Oh. I don't run a child taxi service. Although why has this not been done yet it is necessary necessary and useful and someone should do it. You're welcome so these small people are my children and I love them ferociously with every cell in my body and what naturally companies all of that love it is a deep fear that something terrible could happen to them at any moment every day. I take our kids to school and I pass by this billboard that advertises a Rehab facility it says in giant blue letters and and the addiction all capitals which I mean just seems like false advertising because I read recently that opioids are killing more people now than car accidents seventy thousand people died of drug overdoses assist in two thousand seventeen seventy thousand. I mean it's basically the average maximum capacity of an NFL stadium so oh a stadiums worth of people were completely wiped out in a single year by drugs and it gets worse according to the CDC we we have lost over seven hundred thousand people to overdoses since nineteen ninety nine and nearly four hundred thousand of those were we're from opioids and one of them was my brother. I wrote the entire book on so much drugs. I'm Greg Yeah. That's a home Abrek. That's Harris on a podcast called you made it weird hosted by Pete Holmes and he's talking about out the bookie road called Humble Brag the art of false modesty. He invented that word humble brag like he just made it up from his brain and now it's in the dictionary. Harris didn't go from zero Topi awards growing up. He did all the typical teen experimentation things we did a lot of the things together other but the things changed pretty drastically after he got a prescription from a medical doctor. Oxycontin for back pain Harris struggled for awhile with that on his own and after a painful year of of begging him to go to Rehab and him resisting for every reason under the sun he finally went in for thirty days and it worked. It seemed awesome. He seemed like himself again but then he relapsed unbeknownst to us and then he started shooting heroin because it's cheaper and easier to come by here's Harris again talking to Pete Holmes on you made it weird so the first first time I go home and shoot it you. You put the needle in find a vein. Put the needle in drawback so that blood goes into into the syringe so you can see that you're in a vain and within three seconds. You feel like there are a thousand. Dick's all over your body and they're all all coming like I've never felt anything like it. I was like okay. I do heroin now. That's it then he went back to Rehab. He finished another thirty day. Program relapsed again and went back to Rehab. He knew the stakes. I'm just taking it a lot more seriously now because I felt like I I can't I if I go out again now that it's shooting heroin I could die. That's it. It's not fun anymore more. It's like life and death now and I don't WanNa. Do that's my parents. I don't WanNa do that to myself so I'm taking it more seriously now and I'm in a good place by the time that interview aired. He'd already relapsed He went back to Rehab a few months later. This was rehab number three. He was there for six weeks total detox first and and then into sober living what we know is that he checked himself out. It was February Seventeenth Twenty fifteen. He did stand up comedy comedy the next night at meltdown. It's a club in. La came home sent an email to my mom. He said he felt good. He even used an exclamation mark. That's how good he felt. He said he felt fortunate. He told her that he loved her. And then he shot up all alone in house overdosed and died that that was it he was gone permanently and forever gone from our lives and the lives of everyone who loved him which was so many people when my brother was alive he made the rest of US look so bad. I mean even dead. He still makes the rest of US look bad. He accomplished more in thirty years than most people accomplish Russian a lifetime. He had the most creative limitless mind. That was always working. His resume is the stuff of dreams. He got his first big break at twenty two on the Sarah Silverman program he was a writer producer actor on NBC's parks and recreation he wrote on the show master of none which won an emmy his sense of humor could be crude and Raunchy not everyone's cup of tea but as he's on sorry he and Sarah Silverman and many other people who are objectively funny for a living really liked that T. I did. I liked that he and he made me laugh more than anyone else but more than that he was my brother he was my only sibling. He was like the Robin to my Batman. I'm definitely not a superhero but you know we were team. He talked me off so many ledges over the years. Whenever I'd start to spiral he'd be like quit future tripping it. Was this gentle reminder or maybe not the gentle. Just be wherever you are right now. after Harris died. I honestly didn't know how to do life without him. I was completely one hundred percent consumed by grief so I wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote and and it turned into a book called everything is horrible and wonderful which it is and I'm fairly certain at the writing saved my life and when it came out people all sorts of people came out of the Internet woodwork to share their own stories of losing someone they loved and it turns out that nearly everybody you know is either struggling with or love someone or know someone in who is struggling with some really difficult shut and for some reason we continue to keep these stories hidden away just eating at our insights. This is a show about that the stories we hide mm-hmm the shame we carry the stuff. That's not supposed to happen. It's about endings that are sudden and unexpected ugly and worthy of Irish scheming. If you don't know what that is it's what some people are guess. Some Irish people do to express grief when there just aren't words. It's like a moaning weeping wailing thing so I did that. I did a lot of that and after the months of despair this weird thing started to slowly happen happen at some point after Harris died. I went from thinking we're all GonNa die. What's the point to wait. Oh my God we're all going to die. That's the point I went from thinking that everything was hopeless and meaningless to realizing that our time time here is so short so fast and that was incredibly freeing and it made me embrace all the cliches all the sayings written on pillows because life is short so fuck it. I'd better do what I can with the time I've got so this. This show is that this is last day a new podcast from lemonade media India about the things that are killing us and by us. I mean all of us people. You know people you love people you interact with every every single day. We'll start with opioids obviously and in future seasons will tackle other issues that are hard to discuss and getting worse every day because there are so many people like me who have lost people like Harris or people well who are currently agonizing over the possibility of losing someone like Harris or people who are currently feeling like Harris and all of these people people and their people and there people have nowhere to put those big feelings. They don't know what to do or where to go or how to stop the bleeding eating. It's time to figure out how we as a society have gotten here so naturally we'll start with a comedian. Her name is Sarah Silverman embarrassing. It's Silverstein. Oh my God shit. I knew it was gonNA fuck. DOC IT UP Yeah. Everybody does letter so sorry i. I knew that you were like one of the tribe. I didn't know which of the end was. It doesn't matter matter real. Sarah gave Harris his first real job in comedy. He was a newborn baby did well. He was twenty two but essentially a newborn baby and we always joked about how she was like a mom to him in. La She saw all this potential in him and she got to watch him grow into the comedian and the human betty was so I decided to fly to La to see if she could give me some answers about what happened to him. They first met after Harris to set at a club called Largo. After the show I was smoking joint in the alley in the back and invited him to join you know didn't know that ironically about Harris not a big pot smoker. I know never worry yeah yeah so we smoked pot and then yes I they had them in my head and you know we had like spots for like five writers when this airs Lebron Program got picked up and I said you know this guy hairs whittles let me email him and he of course really became one of our strongest maybe our strongest raider and one of the really special things about Harris not only that he's so original and so funny is his fucking audacity and his nerve so he's a spa the Chutzpah on this kid. It's fucking crazy junior riders so excited to be here his it's his first writing job and he comes comes to me and says. I need four days off because I'm going. I WANNA go see a bunch of fish concerts and I had already made the plan. Dan Look at him like are you fucking kidding me and I don't know how it happened but I let him go yeah he just he puts a spell on you. He's does like member hearing that your mother would take him grocery shopping and let him have of a tiny shopping cart that he could put anything he wanted it and I said then makes all the sense in the world. Yes this yeah completely makes sense and yet got it so hard to be put off by it because he was such a comic genius and brought so much joy and I'm. I'm going to just blow your mind a little bit right here. It wasn't a little cart Sarah. It was a big cart go. He got his own big heart and he could fill it with whatever shetty Eddie wanted what he put in his human bodies garbage. It's crazy. I know so you wrote these tweets after he past. Oh can I show them to. You sure okay so this is what you said. He was my baby. I just keep thinking of Superman flying backwards around the earth. I wish I could do that. I'm so mad at you Harris Yeah. That's I was so mad at him for so long. You should know that Harris was brilliant beyond compare that his imagination was without limit that he loved comedy more than anything that his heart was big and he felt hard and he was someone who would reach out to you to tell you that he was thinking of you for no particular reason that's true that he was honest even when it was going to. Piss you off or make him look shitty. He told the truth even when it was ugly even when he lied Oh yeah that's so true it really is. I think you're so warm and loving too you know after the first time he went to Rehab. I I'm sad at that but I really shifted and realizing this kid is not okay and I was was able to kind of change my dynamic with him because I was like. Oh you know how he's wounded. Yeah yeah and it just it. It just worried worried me so much and I I think I had to like shift that first time because I was like Oh. He just needs tons of love like this. This kid that you Jewish went oh he has all the love in the world and everyone adores him and he's you know what I mean. No it was st needed to feel it yeah. He did have a love in the world. which is what the word yeah you know and he always said like? I had a great childhood. I mean all the risk. Factors just didn't apply to him. No it doesn't make sense so when he did go to Rehab that first time. Were you surprised yet shocked. I was shocked the first time he texted me and said I'm in Rehab for pills for oxy of course he just think well that will be it. He'll get better and then he'll be better. You know yeah I do. I do know yeah. I thought that too yeah. That's the way you think then that summer is when he started shooting eating heroin and he went back to Rehab a second time after you start where he said you're not. GonNa believe yeah this. I'm in Rehab for shooting actual heroin. This is the texting yeah that was and it was just you know even as textiles funny but it was I was I couldn't believe it I had I don't I mean I just said Oh my God i I love you and you know yeah. We were in Texas so he could conveniently not get on the phone. Text is such a great I know for adding. I don't think I'm supposed to say addicts for people who struggle with substance abuse. Yeah apparently you're not you're not supposed to say attitude so you know he could hide behind that and so. I I didn't see him in an era on any regular basis and so picking up on those warning signs was impossible. Yeah I mean he was writing parks and rec and I I never saw him. You know I mean we. We just right the last text I got from him. I had just made a movie where I played a person struggling with substance abuse thank you and I the last text I got from him was just that he said he heard about the movie and he was so proud of me and excited about it and he said something very loving and and you know like so when he died. I you know I I looked like the last contact with them and it was that I was just like Oh. What could I I I could have done. I could have said that magic combination of words I was really not involved in his life all and but yeah. It was yeah anyway when he died. I got his phone and so I sat in my drawer for like two months because I was just catatonic and then one day I was like Oh should I have his phone so I plugged into my computer because I wanted to keep everything and all the photos imported into my old like his Pinos those pictures so I basically would have like a picture of my baby and then some girls tickets and then Harris's Dick and then some girl's ass. I really like my Iphoto is like all naked body parts and then Q. Babies. It was just truly like a lovely parting gift. It's because damn there were there was one picture I had one penis picture of him in my book my mother. My mother loved it. It was so funny well well. That was my favorite story. Is I have so many penises of his picture Mrs of this picture the one is like he's his penis and balls or completely completely out of his pants and he's dying laughing like about something else and it's just like the most joyful picture you could ever see I you you know in the raiders when we talked about all our sexual endeavors and he has really had lowest he had a good he had some some real experiences dances porn exceptional yeah. This is how he would. He would not era heroin talk yeah so I'm sure that coming into a booth and talking about your dead friend isn't the most fun I mainly top three but like I appreciate you coming in but why would do you agree to this form of torture well. I Love Harris and I also get a little dose when I get to to see you yeah and I see him in your face and in your words and in Your Way Oh sorry I love eras that probably inappropriately cheerful music is Harris's band called. Don't stop or will die in the video for it. Harrison tennis friends Michael Cassidy and Paul rest are on Roller Skates delivering pizza. That's definitely how Harris would want us all to be imagining him eating taking out playing drums cracking up with his dick out or you're picking up a girl what was the thing that every girl had at at least twenty percent crush on him like that is that is an absurd statement but you kind of you know yeah like. I guess when we come back we will not be talking more about Harris's Pinas so stick with us. We talk about heavy things here on last day but we also talk about hope solutions progress healing community and new beginnings. Yes we talk about taking care of yourself in grief in challenging times and being gentler with yourself and those around you we are so grateful to our presenting sponsor new chapter for helping make this podcast possible new chapter is a vitamin and supplement brand supports every chapter of your wellness journey it improves lives with revolutionary vitamins and supplements that actually work like their multivitamins that are fermented for better absorption new chapters natural products are formulated to work with your body and made from the finest non. GMO organic ingredients the variety of products help. You custom design what you need to feel great. New Beginnings are possible and it can start it was something as simple as taking care of your body in the most basic ways with new chapters incredible line of products find new chapter at the vitamin SHOPPE wholefoods. 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You'll get free shipping on your first order. That's ever lane dot com slash last day ever lane dot com slash last day. We're back. This is last last day. I'm Stephanie Woodall's wax and this is disease on sorry gets guy 'cause you're. You're you know well guy. It's me yeah okay okay. I forgot he's loved. Harris and Harris loved him. They worked together on parks and REC and then again on master of none when Harris died as he's was a pallbearer at the funeral and he wrote an amazing tribute to him which was actually truly funny in a moment when it seems like nothing would ever be funny again. You're Tumbler Post that you read about Harris was singlehandedly handedly like the thing that made my parents laugh for the first time after Harris died like forty eight hours in and I don't know if I've ever said thank you for for that but that was amazing to think. Oh Yeah I'd never had to process the death of ran like that and the day that it happened a lot of people ended up at my house like people that riding master none of the time people that wrote him on parks and we were all is talking about him and everyone's sharing stories and it was just so different than you know these random articles that are coming out and I just wanted to write something something to kind of share some of these really funny personal moments that we all had and in. I'm especially glad that it made you and your family left. Oh yeah yeah it was incredible. I remember we were all laughing and then I remember thinking like Oh shit like we should stop laughing. You know like this is this should be a series moment moment but it was just this really incredible medicine that that you gave us so thank you so the master of none. Casting Harris was so so excited about that at that was a huge role to play your best friend named Harris. Yeah I mean I love Harrison actor and when we were writing the first master none we were just kind of figure out who his discounters friends are and stuff and at one point where like well. Let's just ride a character. That's kind of based around. Harris and we had to tell her Zika like you. Kinda have to audition for this just because you know the higher ups they wanna see an audition tape so he he had to audition to play to play himself and he was so good and he took associated in like he was very nervous. I never really seen him like that. Nervous I could tell it was really important ordinance and and he did a great job and I remember when we called him to tell him that he got any was so happy and it's like it's so oh crushing and think about now. He was so excited so excited to go to New York and Harris was a big part of the season you know like me and Alan were the show runners but Harris's kind of second in command and he was definitely a big architect of that show in this first season and so we were all just really excited to continue. Can you seeing this through together. It's like so sad to think about now a yeah. I was talking to Mike. Sure your old boss. Do you remember him. and I was like how did Harris keep his job because he I mean from what I understand. He was late eight constantly. Just would write ridiculous things to Mike and I was like how do you do this job and Mike was like because he was funny like period Korea Ed Harris. Yeah I mean I would rather have Harrison a writer's room and have them there for two hours and have some Bozo. That's there all day I showing up on time and you know like he's a he's a singular talent. Didn't you tell me once I'm in. I'm in a botched this word but it it's called Shefa to Kaffa. What's the word. SHEFA shelter is so when you start seeing in in parks or master before you can get into what the scene is really bad. There's like one or two lines of just kind of silly meaningless conversation. That's like somewhat funny to get you into the scenes and that's referred to as Cheurfa amongst comedy writers and an Harris Harris was exceptional at writing Cheffa and a lot of the the memorable jeff that I remember from Parks Zor or season WanNA master and on with stuff he came up with like there's a scene where in master and onwards me and Arnold walking around and we're talking about the leather heather he wrote the scene. It was saying like why don't they just keep the weather consistent everywhere like it's cold outside. It's cold inside that way not to take take off your coat and it is like as ridiculous idea and and he just wrote it with me like really committed to like yeah. I mean that's what it should be done. Unlike store owners everybody so that way visiting convenience everybody there is a there's one from parts. I remember is like I me and Donna. It's Tom and Donna and thompsons. What's your favorite kind of cake and and Donna's birthday cake. He's like what you can't. That's not a type of cake. That's like your favorite. We're kind of cereal breakfast cereal and it was just that and then like something else happens like Ganges goes off or something like that that was just like you know just weird little little couplets like that weird kind of Harris logic thrown into these little quick conversations which is essentially his logic like that like he probably did think why don't they just make weather standard those probably just a real thought that he that he had his human the ad there's there's probably a moment or two where he genuinely thought that was a good idea. I mean it kind of is so we know Harris obviously but if you were going to describe him to somebody who didn't know him or maybe like only knew him as the Animal Control Guy and parks. What do you say to capture this human being to somebody like I know him in the context of the of the comedy community with full of exceptional uniquely funny incredible people and even amongst that group he stood out in a way that was kind of like the feeling I remember having when he passed was like man of all the Shitty people that could have been taken away like you're? You're gonNA take this kind like on of everybody. Nobody like this incredibly funny writer that was kind of a prodigy of swords that glove eating at Chili's that you know I had all these crazy notions about the world and about himself and he was also a little bit mischievous and you know things like you'd be late for work and stuff like that and you'd be like come on but then at the same time he was so lovable. You could never really be mad at him. I know as his sibling. I feel that very very strongly. There is many times there I'd be mad at him and then I'd be like you're just so adorable and also maddening though like very frustrating too but in a way that it was acceptable. It's very hard to articulate yeah exactly I haven't talked to you about what you knew about Harris's substance abuse abuse and did you know Harris struggling with with substance abuse. Will I think I had an incredibly naive view of what his addiction was like. I thought oh well he's going to Rehab. He's getting help like that means. He's fine. He's checked in everything's fine and it seemed like something he was on top of an anytime. You acted like he was serious and all around Harris. He acted like you were insane. He's like what are you talking yeah. I'm fine. He made you feel like a complete fool for even bringing it up or being concerned at all you know what I mean. I like it was yeah. It was not a big deal and I was like okay. I guess like you know and was so adamant about it. I kinda backed away and whenever it happened I mean it was like I couldn't believe it was not like Oh yeah that week. I'd been CNN. He wasn't doing well like he was fine like he was with me like two days before. I think you know what I mean like. He was supposed to coming to work that day and he didn't come in must be sick or something. You know. It wasn't like Oh yeah. He's like you know coming to work and nodding off every day or you know he's seem be seemed kind of fine so it really just came out of the blue and you know. I was just so ignorant about what heroin addiction is really like in how it's kind of this endless struggle and how it the story with Harris is frighteningly openingly a trope. You know you read these stories. Every single person has the same stories. Oh yeah and then the doctor gave me these pills for back pain then I started losing exorbitant amounts of money to get them and then at a certain point I was like oh well heroin is the same high it's a lot cheaper and I never would be the kind on a person that would put a needle in my arm but I was so addicted to this drug from the pills that I had to do it and I crossed that bridge and then I got addicted to heroin and I'm just you know this normal person that you would never associate with this insane drug that has the worst reputation amongst drugs dogs but that's how powerful the opioid addiction is and it it. It sucks all these people in the same way. It's terrorists did did he tell you that he had checked out of his sober living home no. I I'd assume he was there in the days that he was coming. Were the days that that he was out and then I went back and I listened to that podcast he did with Pete Holmes. which is it's one of the most you know incredible documents about this crisis in a way because it's it's him telling the story of? Oh this kid from a great family who's he's having a great career. And how the fuck does he start doing heroin and this is how for me when I when I heard it was crazy because he was talking about being sober and how he was aware of the fact that if he used again he would die and that he couldn't do that to his family but by the time yeah heard it he'd already relapsed. Oh my God I didn't know that yeah and I remember texting him and being like what the the fuck man like the only time in my life as a sibling to Harris that I can recall being legitimately full of anger. You know where it was like enough that you say we'll make me not angry right now. Because you know in my brain that is not a addicted to something. I'm like like you said there. There's a thirty day program you're going in. You're going to get it taken care of the end. It feels very here's the problem. Here's the solution yeah that's what I thought and clearly very Ni- veal on that addiction is it's a much bigger monster than any of US could ever understand and it does not let up. I think about death a lot I think about the day a person dies how the morning is just a morning. A meal is just a meal. A song is just a song. It's not the last morning or the last meal or the last song it's all very ordinary and then it's all very very over. That space between life and death is a moment February nineteenth. Two Thousand Fifteen was an ordinary day. I took some photos of my baby flipping through. This book called lost. PD's of the English language I made coffee droped work. It's lunch. I remember noting the Beautiful Day. I changed a diaper like I'd done John. US Thousand Times before all the while my little brother lay lifeless on a rug thousands of miles away okay and I had no idea until I got the call that he died of a heroin overdose. I had no idea one moment he was alive and in the next he wasn't the Greeks. Call it a para. Petia a sudden reversal of fortune or a change in circumstances a point of no return. I wonder what add up to his point of no return. I wonder about the first thing he thought when he opened his eyes that morning. I wonder what he ate for breakfast and lunch and dinner. I hope one of them was Chile's Nachos because he really love Chili's nachos or or chocolate. He bought him up. Drumstick love those too. I wonder what jokes were brewing inside of his head. There were always jokes brewing inside of his head. I wonder if he watched any adorable videos of his niece ace and which ones I wonder what plans he made for later that day and tomorrow wonder what he thought about before he did. That thing changed all of us forever. It's the terrorists calling from heaven. it's pretty great up here. it's beautiful for starters Hitler's up here here however for the vegetarianism saying so calling bullshit on that but even that pretty great. It's it's is very cloudy and use you said on so that's cool. gotta go ice cream buffet I can't know what Harris was thinking that day. I'll never know what Harris was thinking that day day but on our next episode we'll try to unearth what someone was thinking the day they overdosed. We'll walk through the day. They died from start to the very end. That's next time on last last. Day is the production of lemonade media. It's produced by Justin Down Cat Erin Consulting Producer Jessica Cordova. Kramer is our executive producer. Mix and sound design was done by Joep Lord Keegan's. Emma is our editor. Our music is by Hannah's Brown and I'm Stephanie. What else wax see you next week.

Harris Harris heroin Greg Yeah Sarah Silverman US Harrison Stephanie Woodall La Vitamin Shoppe Pete Holmes Jason Abrek Topi NFL Mike writer WanNa CDC Chile
3 - Sarah Silverman - Playing Games: Season 2

Never Not Funny

33:54 min | 1 year ago

3 - Sarah Silverman - Playing Games: Season 2

"Playing games. She's the comedian who voiced vanilla and Ralph breaks the internet. But if you challenge Sarah Silverman to pop culture, trivia, she's gonna wreck in from the not funny studios in Hollywood, California. It's playing games with Jimmy Pardo. Here's your host Jimmy par. Heatherton DDS. Welcome playing games. The games for the covers pop culture in the seventies, eighties nineties, and today in studio with his always as my announcer met Belknap. Hey, jimmy. Hi, matt. How's it going doing? Okay. Just getting by like anybody else. What about you? You're all sweated up. It's cold. It is gonna win this'll air. But right today. Cold, it is called. It average freezing walking from my car. Yeah, and even comments about this climate sheets being hoax hoax. It's not real. I saw snowball and the house of congress. I saw Nobel hell. Oh, god. What were you doing there? Visiting a buddy. I really was in Georgia. Right. Look for solar got it. And then he lost that battle right back the hell the devil, and you went with them just to comfort him. I wanted to see who's doing figured if he's not gonna use that. Maybe I could pick it up. Cool. Also, of course, speaking of music, are bandleader's, Mike, Henry law, Mike. There's gonna fiddle. Oh played it hot. And of course, my co is I'm always doing my celebrity for my coast this week. We were very lucky the young lady, that I had the pleasure of working on her show. I love you America, the Sarah Silverman, Sarasota. Hi Sarah, how I guess, to tell you, I've told you this text message that I was proud to work for Conan O'Brien for about a decade and then the next job that I had that I said, yes, to warm up was on your show, and I was never prouder to be part of a show that was the greatest experience. And I mean that's -sarily. Thank you so much. And I I'm so I'm so appreciative that you did that for me. I know is a big favor that I a drove to Sherman oaks to do this. Thank you. And. It around. No. I just thank you so much. That was your incredible. That, that's not why I brought it up. Obviously, I'm terrific. That's why he wanted me the show you were great. The show was great. And again, it was, I was proud to say, I'm currently working on the era soared Machado though season to season. One was week without me there. Do you think it picked up when I arrive? Yes. Civil. Simple. Now do you tore it all anymore? You don't do any touring dates slur, say do visit making about care now. You just rub your eyes or you know, seeing stars and a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. I got into a little I rubbing you know, when you just can't stop and it's like, yeah, I did. I got into an eye rubbing vortex, just now I'm sorry. That was a good. That's what you do. You start rubbing your is like a little kitty cats. And just can't stop it. You just kinda want you want to go to the back of your head. That's a great field. Doesn't it glide as it feel so good? We don't know how do you masturbate, right? Yeah. Right. True. It is that kind of like there's just no stopping smashed ovation for the is. Yeah. Feels great beyond. I more. I was gonna say beyond my control or whatever, but we'll cut that out. I don't even know what that means. I'm having a meltdown right now again you're seeing stars rubbed. The is now is there. I brought up the climate change a hoax. You believe it's a hoax as well. Right. Of course making. Sure. Yeah. I mean just ninety nine percent of the world's climate. Scientists are just they must be it's a big fun joke. That SuAn for them. There's so much out of it. These are bad people. That's, that's my president tells me, they're bad people. Yeah. I should tell you, it was very awkward where as much as proud as there was working very awkward because I do support Trump. So it was very I had to play the role when I was there talking to that audience pretending that I was not on the other side. Well, you know, that's why we hired you really want to be like inclusive. Right. It's nice that you that you have not only are you a Trump supporter, but you also had no integrity. You took that job despite the fact that you disagreed with everybody cabinet so better, right. Yes. People have integrity. They did maybe six months ago, three years ago. Maybe they did. I don't know. I don't know more political than we probably thought. Sara get silly note. I noticed walking over here. There is a barbershop called Barbara. Way, why are you decide to make your hair cutting place sound like diarrhea? Oh, how can we make this sound a little more like diarrhea Barbara met winter? What did you other ones? I was going to. And then it was like turn out. It was like surprisingly expensive for it. Looks like it would be a nice cheap easy. Quick haircut. Diarrhea being fast like you'd think it'd be fast. But I was it was like it was like thirty dollars. And I was like, no if I'm going to get a thirty dollar haircut. You're not going to go to the memory. No. Thanks. Explosive barbaria. That's. Laughing. Laughing is convenience. I'm laughing I did love when I might here's what happened. My head was going to get to the contestants, then you said something funny. I didn't Pat y'all. You also poo poo jokes, which sorry. Yes, I, I didn't know that about you, I there are certain people in my I get not liking gross that, you know, I don't get I don't personally, but I think it's because I don't at all have a visual mind. My mother had a very visual mind. And she would get very upset if I talk like that. And she'd just say, I have very visual mind, but I never related to. 'cause like I don't I'm not picturing it, and you're probably picturing it, which is. Yeah, gross. Yeah, I you know, I don't know if that's what it is. I don't care for it because you don't have a good imagination. I mean what do you talk to your kid about my he hates it more than I do? He hates that humor despite like he's smart sharp. He's older now. He's eleven. We didn't like it, even who's young e comes from school that everybody made fart jokes today. And they all thought it was funny and it wasn't funny. My dad avoid you get it. But you go ahead and do your farts and poops mum when you put it that way. It sounds gross lady late. Oh, I don't do that. You made your bed. You don't do what you don't do those things I did it a girl that claimed that she never did that was her. That was her thing. She said, she never pooped. Yeah. She goes, I just I don't do that come up. You probably was comforting you because you have a thing around it. I don't know if I did back, then it's all my whole thing is my life has changed airy interests. I used to be able to sit in the middle seat in an airplane. I couldn't do that now for a million dollars. Well, right changes. I've got no other phobias OCD things drive me crazy. Well, my miss a funny it gets worse as you get older. The sound sensitivity that to my wife choose to loud. I want to throw her throat walls, funnier if I mean, I've got it started started in high school and just got worse and worse and worse. And just it puts a you love your wife, but it's like a rage. Yes. I mean I I go sheet with myself and writers rooms like it's just a bag. It's just a crinkle bag trying to get him. Yes. And so it's just unbearable. I'm so thrilled. No. It says, no gum onset. I chew gum in my car alone privately private lays the sound of your own mouth chewing. Gum doesn't bother. You know, but it's you know if other people are like if they're chewing it like a regular person, it's fine. But so many people chomping or snap it. I mean I wasn't lying. It's the DMV. This sounds like a standup joke, but it's not. And I was in line for so long. And they're only two people left in front of me and the woman behind me snapping her gum, and I just I had to take myself out of this situation line. Wow. Sounds very funny. Now. All right. It's, it's the contest we cannot play this game with contestants. Let's go to the phones that is right. Anybody that follows never not funny on Twitter has a chance to play the game. Just look for the tweet telling you to call in we then take the calls weed out the dead, weight. And then find our players Matt Belknap I say once again, let's hit the phones. Now, let's say Hello to A-nond. Am I saying that right, sir non? Yes, you are Mr.. Thank you. Thank you for that respect, you know him from the military where, where are you calling from a non? I'm calling from Charlottesville, Virginia. Home of the Nazis. Well, see guile. Oh, god. Were you there for that were you there that day, just go down? Because theoretically part of that was a positive event. No doubt we. It's not fun but we were supposed to go down there in time for the counter protests, we started off the day at a bluegrass festival with my father-in-law and mother-in-law. Meanwhile while they're playing some lovely music. I'm on Twitter watching the carnage unfurl. So we ended up by the time we got back to Charlottesville, the military had arrived. So we had no part in not old nonsense. Well, how was the bluegrass though, that's actually? Focus on how horrible that probably was, it was distracting, I would have rather been watching the news. But yeah, I ordinarily like bluegrass. But when you're watching Nazis March through your town bluegrass is the worst possible. Soundtracks. Makes sense. You mentioned your mother on your father in law. Obviously, you're Mary then, and on. Or are you just going with the neighbors? And how long you been married? It will be sixth year in June, the more than half a year. It sounds like and wouldn't ever wife's know what Heffer half of decade, half a dozen years. There's a little more than half a decade is what I meant to say. Okay. But I have a year because I got the six in my head. I've lost my own talk. What's your wife's name Carolyn, Carolyn? In a non. Do you got kids? We do not. And you have a dog named after you, though you have a dog named after me. Wait, what Sarah Silverman, just jaw just dropped to the ground is if she was snapping gum. What is the dog's name? Well, it's Jimmy. Could have been shooter, one of my head many stupid nicknames. Well, I I'm very flattered. I'm very flattered. We had a first on the show yesterday, named their child after me. So that's a little bit. So you that didn't happen. But. What kind of dog is it now? No way. I'm allergic to dogs. Are you doing it to spite me? No, no, no. We're both also allergic dogs. We just love animals so much. So we are allergic to both our dog and our cat, but he is a gorgeous little rat, terrier arrest Q. So he's eight or nine or something, and he doesn't know any commands, but he's very cute and has he's got a hog on him. So he pees on his leg plot. I'm Cheri shuttle one fault. I got a second thought you saying hog. He's got a hog on them on the south. Hillbilly bluegrass listening to hillbilly dogs got a hog on it his leg all time. All right. We're done talking because I can't imagine that other Phil's going to come out of your mouth. Let me say Charlotte, Charlotte. Where are you calling from Charlotte, Boston? Boston mass, and now you guys are getting hit with some crazy storm right now. Right. I don't know. I haven't been outside today open window. Look outside Charlotte. You'd have to be outside and others weather going on I it doesn't look bad. All right. Well, I wish all the whole east coast wished shut down because of this. It's moving up from DC and moving north. I thought it was, I think it is coming on because I think it's called Petra. I think it's a storm Petra that'll time stamp this recording. Okay, because that's also the name of a very average Christian rock band. So made that joke to nobody, what's the best Christian rock, band Petra. I think all kind of the same. I don't dislike. I actually when I hear it. I was like, hey, this is a pretty good song. Then all of a sudden, then Jesus said, click Jesus good. Jesus song example, like Jesus take the wheel because TV from him. Let's go. A Patty Griffin. She has lot of Jesus he songs. Oh, she's going to be at large, on the twenty eight. I'm not going. All right. Okay. I also like the Doobie brothers saw that Jesus just Paul Ryan me. Oh, yeah. That was that Christian because he sounds kind of conflict. He's deceased. Alright like it's it's not he's not like she's she's sorry. I didn't hear that part. Turn it off before the whole Jesus album. It was great did, I love Jesus stuff. You know, I'm back on board. I apologize for real good mad at there's Christian rock that John Ross generally pretty on listenable me ads. You know they're safe. Michael Smith that his name. I don't know. I can't believe you know, people's names. Record business. You know, I loved growing up. We're the same age up with people. You meet them wherever you go went to live shows, my best friend were born again. Christian twins. Wow. You know, so their whole house was Jesus, he stuff and their parents are real religious, and they're always very excited to say, we had Jews come to. Charlotte. Are you married yet bam? It what's your husband's name, please Peter, Peter and Charlotte. We have children yet. How many gives relit? Relit. We have twins who are Oliver's age eleven or eleven years old the twins. What are the twins names? They would prefer that. I not say the religion. Why are they controlling the house? You got to take the house back. I just remember Charlotte. Are your kids like in the room right now listening? They are. Yes. She, she said they were looking forward to hearing her lose a why aren't they? This. The Boston has the day of the week off for school there, evolve. Okay. So, so the kids haven't even looked outside at the weather. What's your other say Beatrice says, I can say her name, love them name via tricks with an exit the end. Yeah. Like, Beatrix Potter. That's great. Love it. Sarah loves it. Matlin love Mike. Henry disgusted by it. And what's the son's name, Trixie? You can call her a Hooker from the forties, but it's like that's cool. Now, I mean it was like, you know, Senator Trixie what a real famous, we don't know, their last name, they'd be B's, great to so many. Yeah. What this young man's name has to be as well. It's two girls. And why did you assume it was a boy and a girl? I don't know why I I heard twins. I just mad I of the wonder twins. Wanted them to activate. Sure. What? All right, Charlotte, let's meet our third player, and then we gotta get to a game Darren how are you, sir? Doing well, Jimmy, how are you? I'm good during where are you calling from nights connection off from Worcester? Massachusetts Worcester mass, very staff sorta new lots of people from Worcester. There's wicked other isn't it. It's wicked awesome. Cam cedar, h Jon, Benjamin Lister it's, it's a miserable town, so you can get a lot of comedy show miserable. But where's Charlotte really from because she says, Boston, but no one's really from Boston Charlotte for second. You're in Boston proper. Yeah. But rather my kids go to Boston public schools. They pay in taxes. I believe you. Kooks, perry. Good. The defensiveness tells me she is from Austin. There's a black person. All right Darren, what do you do for a living, sir? I'm a criminal defense. Attorney look get this now. What's the last big case that you are on are you on one now that you can't speak about? I'm on several I can't speak about. It's always gonna have headache headed trial last week that I, I managed to win. So it was pretty happy about that. It was not a murder. It was a drunk driving. You I just got said, well, I who who did you were you were you on? Well, I he's a Defense John. Listen, listen, very well. So I guess congratulate regulation, we'll. Good for you. Getting drunk off good for you. Darren maybe you can win a subscription Stitcher premium. That's that'll be another big win for you. All right. You guys you ready to start playing games? All right. Here we go. First up is headlines. I'm originally question that relate to a certain decade, the I would've buzzing correctly gets the point Matt Mel, let's hit the randomized decade reporting from people. Ninety nineties headlines from the ninety s. All right. Hands on buzzers. That means just get your voices ready. Shout out your name, when you think, you know, it please wait until I'm done reading each question. The two players with the most points after five questions we'll go onto the next round and we kick the other guy to the curb, and hopefully Darren then can represent them even though they were drunk and did something wrong. Here we go. First, Julie legend. Okay. Counselor easy. I wanted someone to lose more than this. No serious back on board. All right. Here's the first question this bender by right? Said, Fred, top, the church for three weeks in February of nineteen Ninety-two an bear, a I'm too sexy juice. Actually correct answer. Surrogate was little taste of that, how's that go to sixty full shoot Tuesday. Exit. Good that was better than I thought plan mouth. I think he's happy. Number two, this long running ad campaign launched in nineteen Ninety-three with a commercial that features a man eating a peanut butter sandwich was unable to say the name Aaron bird. You guys want me to take twelve minutes review that longest question to the history of game shows. Wow. You were right, Jimmy when we were testing, these us you thought that was a tough one. And you're right. But I got it right. I got it immediately. You did. No. You did. I didn't know anybody five four three NBA. That's what it sounds to one got milk. Looking for got milk milking? All right. The first actor to every page one eighty million dollars to appear in a single film was the star of nineteen Ninety-six is the cable guy Darren Barron, counselor Darren. Jim Carey this correct. Jim Carey Maccabi scoring update after three. Well, a non Scott one DARREN'S got one. Charlotte's Ed zero. All right. Come on head in the game. And that's all right. You get the children. Have you nervous? You feel free to let the kids help out in this case. I feel like it's maybe necessary. Couldn't hurt not demean Charlotte. Nobody's to meeting each have one more than her. All right. You're all over the drapes. Get some sun in that room of years. Maybe that'll help out on April Fools day in nine hundred ninety eight Burger King announced. They had created a left handed version of this burger an aunt harlot. An ongo Walker through. Opera correct answer. Correct answer. What do we met two for non got to got one Charlotte is, is just as good as the other ones. Now, I'm upset, Sarah. Sarah's within reach of me. So. Right. What I'm saying. Surely, it is say your name just say it, then you'll route think of the answer. I don't give what the guys are doing a good. That's good advice. I have witnesses in here. Your phone is kind of quiet. I feel bad that I heard her run. She did buzzing allows one just to now wait a second. Now I heard it she'll be a tricks is there who, who else was there with you. I have I'm Stella her stall. We, we love the name. Games. Two wins. Bush, Charlotte's already a winner Charlotte. Yeah. Not like that counselor Darren, who's getting people off. In nineteen ninety-five buzzer. In nineteen ninety five this British actor was arrested in Hollywood for soliciting, a prostitute named Divine Brown. It erin. I heard Charlotte. I. Hugh grant. All right. So what do we have met, L got to DARREN'S going, Charlotte's got? All right. Here we go. Here's another question the unit that one Darren. I did. Okay. Now I can't help you this time yelling your name out cheese. Oh, jeez. This I fully CGI main character and a major motion picture was this much maligned sidekick from Star Wars Episode one, the Phantom Menace, an aunt barely on jar jar surgeries. Artemisia break dancer. All right now, we have to have a this is interesting, Jimmy. Yeah. A non got three but Darren trailer tied at one so we need a tiebreaker. Right. Here's a tiebreaker, you guys ready. So a non you stay out of this. I will this is a tiebreaker, you buzzing to get it wrong. You get it right. You move on. You get it. Wrong your opponent. Automatically moves on. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Charlotte counselor in nineteen Ninety-one. Silence of the lambs Hannibal lector claims to have enjoyed this type of line with a census takers liver and Fava beans. Darren darren. But we heard just your the Dera got him before you. Delares dera. What do you what do you got Yankee, correct answer? Yeah. That actually makes you feel better, considering that we cheat isn't gave a little points. So it makes me feel better, that Darren got still got the question rage. Did. All right. Well, Darren and a non you guys hang tight, we have to think about his Charlotte Charlotte, you do not leave here, empty-handed you're going to get something from the never not funny prize closet. More importantly, you had to go back to having fun with your beautiful children. Thank you so much. Thank you, John. Giving that Sarah. Mike here too. All right. Bye. Bye, charlotte. I all right. That means as you just heard we take about his Charlotte. That means a non and Darren, we'll go onto the next round and then find out what gonna go head to head with Sarah right after this. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to playing as my coach this week. It's the rate Sarah Silverman. Hi, sarah. Hi, how are you to help Charlotte? Get a point now last round that's considered cheating in the game. Show world. True. All right. We got an on and Darren you guys right around two. Yes, sir. All right, whoever's lead, at the end of this round will win a pod swag gift card and go onto play against the finals for that aforementioned subscription to Stitcher premium bird, we playing a game this round called opposites attack. The foot plop I'm gonna give you the title of a movie actually haven't have surrogate, however, she will be using anthems instead of the actual title your job. Tell me what the movie is. For example, if zero is to read the found girls, the answer would be the lost boys. All right. Understood. Yes. All right. Let's at the rent is to see what decade will be playing from. For the eighties can replaying from the eighties. We have one two, three four five, six seven seven questions. The category, whoever's the most will go on to play in the finals. Let's play Sarah Silverman, please read the first opposites attack forward to the past a non Darin, Gordon on back to the future of the view jets dancer, the next one, please, Sarah live, easy, Barron, unknown Darren diehard iheart. Correct answer Christmas movie. Sarah, next one, the prince groom. Erin, go during Princess, bride have surprised. He's a very easy somebody wanting somebody to put a lot of thought into these next one bottom knife. An on and on Cup gun going. Correct answer. Is it nice the opposite of a gun? Sure for the sake of this. I mean I like it. You know, bringing bringing a knife to a gunfight. That's that's true. I was I was trying to think what would what is the knife? Next one, I mean it's funny that they answer a question that really nobody asks, I don't think people are going around going. What do you bring to a gun fight line or? Schneck I think flowers are the opposite of a gun, you shutting up the exact opposite of what is happening at the moment. Good, sir. A London man in America. Barron. Go Dern American werewolf in Paris. Oh, no chance for. Who's the other one go to non chance for you, an American werewolf in London? Yes, there we go. It was right there for you. Is there is there a Paris was that a sequel was a sequel, man? How can that not be okay, what this age because that's not from that decade, not from the decade. Isn't that? I think I was harassed came years. More recently watched in American werewolf in London. Probably thirty times at one point one summer. When was just on all the time, the great David Nuton, great, Dr peppers. So you're a pepper. Everyone's a pepper wouldn't you like to pepper to Griffin Dunne invest. That's a good movie. It is. I love Dan. I've seen it since then. All right. What's scores met DARREN'S gut to an anon- scout. Three all right. Here we go. Head in the game here. Darren concert. I go ahead. Sarah, small. Go ahead and on big. All right too much. Real real like host -i. We're already got a winner. But let's see the last one here anyway. Clean standing. No for at dare. Dirty lying dirty line. I got a great movie dirty lying, which embraced Jennifer gray. When? No one could argue that. The dancing is not the applicant standing. But if you're at a dance, right? You're wallflowers wall. All right. Well, a non you're going to go onto the next round. We've got to think about the counselor and I'm not gonna lie. I'm glad I'm glad you defense, a lot of people who don't who, who, who are innocent. Well, I'm sure he thinks. Oh, so he could sleep. I hope he does. I mean it's good to know that you don't support the representation of the Jimmy, good to know. I think it sounds to me like district you, you said he was drunk driver that tells me used of that, and your. He's saying he was a sober terrible. Dr. Did the guy have to pay any anything? Did he kill somebody? Yes. No. Oh. That's all he did. Oh, I do that. All the time when I'm on my phone. I do too, when I'm drinking. I dare and you're beyond, you're gonna gets other only price closet. But thank you were playing, sir. Thank you guys. All right. As you just heard. We say about Darren that means that a non you've won the where gift card, you're going to go head to head with Sarah in the finals right after this. Everybody welcome back to playing games. I listen to non is already wanna podge wet gift card. But now it's time to go ahead with Sarah, the see if he can win a year subscription to Stitcher premium. I'm gonna ask you both series of questions. If a non can answer more correctly than Sarah, he will win the questions can be about anything. But there's one question from each of the last five decades Sarah, I'm gonna ask you first. So that means we're gonna put a non and the relation booth which means we're just gonna put them on hold. So hang tight or right. Or non. Yup. I helped by win and keep non from having this prize. Spiro. Okay. I didn't put him on hold until right after you said that. That's okay. So he heard that. All right. So he's on hold. He's now he's now he is on. Okay. Here we go Syria, ready. Yeah. Welcome back kotter. What we're Mr. Qatar's remedial students collectively called the sweat hugs baby in nineteen Eighty-four. This commercial for Wendy's this eighty one year old actress I utter the widely popular catchphrase. Where's the beef? Oh, I have to know who the woman is. Yeah. I don't know name, still new Manzke, the two main characters of this MTV show. First appeared in an animated short called frog baseball. Beavis and behead thousand to this member of a Grammy award winning, our be girl group was killed in a car accident in Honduras, TLC, oh, left eye Lopez of the four golden girls names, only this one made parents dot coms list of the top ten girls names of two thousand eighteen. Let's see a rose. All right. We've got our answers. We got our answers. Right. We've now take a non out of the 'isolation booth. Are you ready? Are you ready in on AM, sir on welcome back kotter? What we're Mr. Qatar's, remedial, students, collectively known as the animals incorrect. The sweat hawks see it a nine hundred eighty four commercial for Wendy's. This eighty one year old actress I utter the widely popular catchphrase. Where's the beef? Yeah. Loris Leach men, close Clara pillar Clara pillar. Nobody knows that. And who is your to very quickly, Jimmy did the two main characters of this MTV show? First appeared in an animated short called frog baseball who are Beavis and Butthead. That is correct answer two thousand to this member of a Grammy award winning our be girl group was killed in a car accident in Honduras. Who's Lisa left eye Lopez? That is correct. Answer of the four golden girls names, only this one, made parent dot com. List of the top ten girls names of two thousand eighteen. Astill. Incorrect looking for so FIA looking for so. Getty was played by his Getty, but that doesn't get you the points and none, it's certainly does. What's our score here? Bet a non had to write Sarah had three Sarah beaches just by one. Non doesn't get a. To go back to my mansion. Syra gots, what hugs you did not? Nobody got clear Keller than the so feel wasn't had both of you guys guessing. But you do get pod sweat gift card and on. We thank you for playing again. What would he have won, if he won the years prescriptions, deter premium? Just give it to him. No. He will get a gift card to be happy with it. Burn up. Sarah thing for me here. Thank you for having me. Your welcome. I'll be ever announcer. Matt bell that bandleader Mike Henry Francis Overman. I'm Jimmy Pardo. Come back the next time you're ready to start playing games. Playing games with Jimmy Pardo, has never not funny production produced by Jimmy Pardo. Matt Belknap and Mike. Henry distributed by Stitcher premium and ear wolf media music by Mike. Henry, Mr. Partos wardrobe provided by botany five hundred for more Jimmy Pardo. Checkout. Never not funny in Stitcher, apple podcasts or wherever you find podcasts. And be sure to visit never not funny dot com for a chance to play games with Jimmy follow. Never not funny on Twitter portions of this program, not affecting the outcome up. Competition have been edited. Want to hear your will pilots before anybody else we made a podcast feed just for you. Your will presents is full of great stuff like preview episodes for upcoming shows peaks behind the pay wall, and pilots podcasts that haven't even been made yet it's like getting to listen in behind the scenes here at here wolf starting January twenty first eagle presents. We'll have a bunch of new pilots for you, like Edgar mumbo Sears. The woke kissed catch conversations between the woke us man in the world. And comedians like Rizal aja, also here upcoming pilots, the Florida cast. Wow. You're native American to this week in sports and Carl alarm all throughout the month. Let us know what you think of them with hashtag presents subscribe to your wolf presents to hear more great episodes from around the network and behind the pay wall, like an episode of drew Tarver strictly business with der contraire or act. One of Matt Besser, punk musical stolen idea. Just search for old presents in your podcast app, and subscribe, so you don't miss an update.

Sarah Silverman Darren darren Charlotte jimmy Mike Henry Francis Overman Boston Jimmy Pardo Matt Belknap Jesus Twitter Charlotte Charlotte Matt bell Darren Barron diarrhea Jimmy par America Hollywood Conan O'Brien John Ross
Girls Are Funny Now with Sarah Silverman

Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler

38:58 min | 1 year ago

Girls Are Funny Now with Sarah Silverman

"A lot of people don't know this but sixty percent of people have one foot that is bigger than the other and there is a new shoe company called adams a. t. o. s. adams or the world's first shoes choose to come in quarter sizes no more being in between sizes adams sense. He three pairs of shoes in quarter size increments. You only pay for one and then you pick the individual individual left and right shoe fits best. I love adam shoes to try. The world's first shoes to come in quarter sizes. Go to adams dot com slash chelsea. Adams adams will send you three pairs of their incredibly comfortable shoes so you can pick the laugh and then pick the right shoe. That fits best. There's free shipping and free returns. When you order at adams dot com forward slash chelsea they will even include a free pair of socks so if you want to wear the ideal everyday shoe goto dot com forward slash chelsea hi i'm chelsea handler welcome to life will be the death of me a production of iheartradio. Oh good afternoon hello brandon. How are you doing how are you. I'm well thank you. What would you have any updates. We've had a lot of updates. Actually i got some new rugs installed this week. We'll just need to check out your instagram at chelsea handler to keep up with everything going on in your life because there's a lot happening at the house and i'm home i've been in l._a. For awhile and that i know irks you because you're ready for for me to go away and luckily i have a trip coming up this weekend. Isn't that right like when you're on the road this weekend. I had some friends over for mushroom friday. We went swimming in my pool. Well we ordered food for ourselves. We ordered post mates pizza. We were there for two days which can be concerning right but but i also try and remember no news is good news right but i cleaned up after. Everybody left some people a state. I was in bed by midnight. Everyone around six ish after we had our burt scare. We're going to have to get the dog a tracking collar because he at one for me too loose. We're so scared we lost burt and we had workers at my house delivering the rugs. We couldn't find him. We couldn't find raised around the neighborhood. Ma bell was screaming bird bird but so many times it was overkill and then finally brandon found him wedged between the property gate of our neighbors and some cement block poor bird and in he dislikes me so much that he wanted himself further through just to escape to get away from you and then yeah so in the mama's arms right. He went right into my bells. Ell's arms but we screamed when we screamed and guess who didn't bark wants to let us know that he was hearing screams burt because he's an idiot so this this week's show is sarah silverman and me in san francisco we talk about a harvard singing a cappella group a little bit. We talk about stand up and my realization that i should probably start doing it again. Which i now am doing it again and we talk about female comics because girls aren't funny and that just has to keep being being spoken about girls are funny now so everybody needs to do with it. I'm going to bring up one of my very favorite people in the whole wide world and i know you're going to be very very very happy to see her so please show your appreciation as i welcome my very dear friend sarah silverman the chelsea hi hi sarah thanks yeah. We've been together on a number of occasions. The most recent one was a very odd night. We have i have a friend named alec and and he went to harvard and there was an odd capella group. What is it the harvard singing group. Do you remember what they're called. No no that the yale ones are the whiff and poofs chiefs right and they're the harvard. I it's like basically twenty year old boys singing and when he said he was seeing a bunch of guys that went to harvard. I was like oh sarah worst single. There's harvard guys there urge. She's like that sounds awful and i said let's broaden our horizons. It's cute. We'll be together. It'll be fine and it was at some like store in beverly hills that sell perfume and men's clothing or something so the lighting is tricky so we smoke joint. We go meet up with my friend and all of a sudden. There's just enough people to be awkward for us to leave yeah. They're like seventeen people so we couldn't just be like let's go and then also it was like cocktails at at first and then all of us on the show started and where we happen to be standing became the front row because it was like so we there is no escape. No it was the front row and it was bright lights so the people who were seeing were staring straight sarah and me probably wondering why are these girls here. We felt like child molester. I was like get outta here and then the singing's beautiful right. I mean if you're sorta i like tight harmonies masako doc. I n nice tight harmony and all of a sudden. She's standing next to me and she goes. What are you doing waiting to get underneath. What are you doing right now and they're going to watch them saying like this and i'm standing next to her. So i get on miami. He goes but then just so this is. What can i explain to you. When i get high. I love weed and i don't necessarily get paranoid but the one paranoid element mint is that when i'm high i feel convinced that i'm taking up too much space and so i felt like no one could see the behind like no one behind me could see over my giant presence so i try to just make myself very small and then what i realize the soon as i got down was that it you in a very precarious position to be so then you got down by this point white my knees hurt so much and then i get down and she goes. I gotta get back. He's heard so much and then i you know so so we made a scene by desperately trying to be inconspicuous anyway that was our most reason outing and then also how we met we interesting stories it sure yeah i'm sure i mean i'm sure it is. I don't remember oh. I remember or at the haiti fundraiser right yes i do. We were both in the industry in the same business for so many years because you were crossed path never really and i just assumed you didn't like me because i always assumed people don't like me just go with that and that way no one's fucking disappointed i remember and then we would see each other at functions and i was too shy then finally at this thing i just made myself. Go up to you yeah oh you did you came up and you're like hey chelsea. We should be friends. I said what it's crazy. We don't know each other. That's so weird. Comics always know each other yeah. It was one of those moments where you have this protective guard which i definitely had for so many years where i was like. I don't need anybody like me. I'm just gonna do my thing and just and you have this protective thing and then you were successful for i was was i was in the comedy clubs and i saw you and you were somebody who was a big star bit older so when you said that it's just such a great example of to fucking nicer to everybody we should all be reaching out saying do you wanna be friends you know and sits then we're great friends. That's just such a good reminder. Especially girls like we need each other reach out to each other the show up and be like especially friends that you don't normally have you know as a matter of fact then we did a photo shoot together and and she said she went like this to my bra goes what is that i have the same bra and then she goes. I wear the same bra but mine's lines not filthy and i said well i have one. That's like caucasian nude and one. That's uh-huh and blog wasn't naturally black. It's dirty but we were the exact same kind of like support bra and where the exact same size boob and by the end of that shoot somebody just went ooh a piece of information. Ooh yeah come sir assistant assistant with a bag of forty of these every bra. Ah i wear of now i have several were given to me by chelsea handler chelsea. She tries to hide it but she is a caregiver beyond anything else and you know i was trying to when i wrote caregiver caretaker do care giver and caretaker mean is getting the check but it's like a bill right okay. We're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back brennan. I notice that you've been buying a lot of shoes shoes okay. What do you have the same size foot on each foot a good question. I don't know no probably not most people. Don't i definitely do not in fact sixty. Percent of people have one foot. That's is larger than the other. Did you know that it explains why there's a new sneaker company called atoms that is catering to this very group of people. Adam shoes are unisex unisex and have a simple design that accents your personal style for us and i borrow your stuff exactly when we start sharing close adams or the world's first shoes to come in quarter sizes and no more being in between sizes adams sense he three pairs of shoes in quarter-sized increments you only pay for one and then you pick the individual left and right shoe that fits best. I love adam shoes to try. The world's first shoes to come in quarter sizes. Go to adams dot com slash chelsea adams will send you you three pairs of their incredibly comfortable shoes so you can pick the left and then pick the right shoe that fits best. There's free shipping and free returns when you order at adams dot com forced thus chelsea they will include a free pair of socks so if you want to wear the ideal everyday shoe goto adams dot com slash chelsea. I'm deciding whether to like go a little deeper. Go or start. Oh i'm sorry i wasn't asking you sorry aw because i loved your book and i learned so much about you and they changed the way i think think and i love when something changes me and <hes> i just loved every part of it and i think it's so special and can and really not just let people learn your story. I mean talk about like there isn't anyone you couldn't love once. You've i've heard their story. You can even love chelsea handler this story. One thousands are seeing is that your brother died on it adventure and that you are so adventurous. You're the most adventurous person i know and i wonder if that has anything to do with that in some weird way yeah yeah. That's a great question sarah. I know i'm sorry it's not no it is i land. Dan question never thought about that. You know once went skydiving. When i was nineteen years old. I remember i came out to california. I was like yeah. This seems like a good place for me to relocate and i went skydiving and i had all these pictures and i hid them for my father because we weren't allowed to do stuff. I mean we could do whatever we wanted obviously but he because my brothers accident it was height and it was you know and i remember coming home. One day my dad had pictures scattered all across the kitchen island of me skydiving and his face was just like you know he had been in a fight and he was like how dare you jump out of a plane after your brother fell off a cliff and i was like it's time for me to go to l._a. But you know the pain was so raw for all of us. It's almost like we had to get away from each other in order to heal because it was so raw and it was so painful to go home and be ignored over and over again and be desperate for attention that you had your whole life and totally explains my career and wanting to be you know. I wanted attention attention attention. I thought what i wanted was a connection. You know you get confused and your love the accolades and love people. I just wanted somebody to ask me where i'd been all day. You know that takes me. I'm going to any graham what you talked about in the book is just and not being able to sit still and then you took this today say right any graham yeah so it's like this personality test that my doctor gave me at first i was like is is this astrology adjacent and he's like no eddie basically came up there all these numbers that describe different personality types. I'm number eight which is a fixer which is somebody who goes is in fixes. Everybody else's problems but never takes a look at themselves which is exactly what i do. I'll fix anybody's problem. I'll sit on your bed morning noon and night and i will have there's much sympathy as you need and i will be the best friend and fixer. I'll throw money at any problem. I'll show up. I'll fly to germany if i have to. I will be there for anyone but but as far as empathy goes you know i was lacking that i was lacking empathy. The difference between sympathy and empathy is feeling sorry for something actually thinking what it's like to be that person in that period created and he was like you lack empathy. That's why you've had these issues and so that was a big aha moment and the number eight. Which is the number i do. You know what number you are sarah. No i don't john but i just think it's interesting because you share number eight with who else donald trump and some other really pig assholes but luckily through my meditation because donald trump's obviously not doing that you can become self actualized. No matter what number you are. There are people who are not self-aware who are not president who are not conscious which is what i was doing for ten years and to be able to go from that to looking inward and realizing realizing everything that you realize this incredible but it is interesting to look at your early life where you came from and how you became this wildly successful full kind of like how donald trump became wildly successful failing and unfilmable whole constantly staying in motion and it's you know he's never going to look inward because i think if he saw really looked at himself he'd probably kill himself but you just talked about how you didn't have empathy but i beg to differ because when your mom was in hospice 'spice you gave her the greatest gift you could give her which was pulling cots in and being with your siblings things and laughing and talking and you say earlier in your book and i'm wondering if you made this connection and i guess it's not a question. It's just me participating about how smart i am from reading your book that i think that is empathy. You gave her her greatest joy. Which you say early in the book was to be <music> peripheral to what's going on to not contribute. She didn't wanna talk but she wanted to just be around the conversation and the happenings and you gave gave her that that wasn't a question it was a statement. It's funny because you talk about completely l. e. falling out of love with stand up but is that really well by doing that and taking the time and being on this tour and going around to these cities i was like okay i do you wanna do stand up again. You know so. I am going to do it again and her years. I was like never again never again because i lost my joy so i just was moving too fast too many huge moments. I missed but the answer to your question is yes. I needed to rediscover my love for stand up in and had to be my own idea right saying no if someone told you ten years ago that in ten years you'd be promoting a book about politics. Take some therapy. What would you have told them listen. I don't know this bitch either. Anything is possible. I i mean are you. Aren't you surprised or are you. Maybe you're the opposite of me because we are opposites in so many ways. Are you surprised by the changes that you take in your career and the different things that you you do. I mean does it feel. Natural is an intentional. Do you plan on it or is it. I've never planned anything in. I never have thought of the future her like anything. That's how i feel. I don't like to plan for the future. I just i'm like well. Let's see which way the wind blows you know. Maybe i want to do that. I i don't plan. I think it's more there's a different kind of energy about it. You gotta get hopped up about something and then you get really passionate about it yeah for like two days and then you're like oh no. I'm not into that anywhere now. Sometimes i do somebody asked me yesterday. You get like we're having a silent retreat. Both no fucking silent retreats okay. I'm not there yet. I'm not on the other side of. I'm still normal. I don't want to be silent for three days in the woods. We're not so different like i remember it. We all got ed awards or certificates for soccer and high school and everyone got positive things and then they gave me least popular on the van because i made everyone's life hell when they were like trying to sleep and everything was civic least popular on the van. I loved it because it was so funny. It was very creative creative and very true. You know it's an interesting thing and it's kind of what you brought up just not asking me but the one time i had like an identity crisis with comedy was the first time i had my first special because your first special kind of like the accumulation of everything you've done so far in the the best of it and then that did well and then i didn't know who i was because i couldn't do the same material anymore so to write new material but i wanted to do please the audience and give them what they're expecting which is to be surprised and then how can you do that and then i was so paralysed until i realized comedy dies in the second guessing and you didn't have to start over and bomb shit and lose fans and get new fans hopefully and just stay with reflecting who you are and hopefully who you are is always changing and growing so howev your fans reacted if you felt a difference in and your change a change in them yeah i mean i'm sure some people are probably like a fox. She's got off the deep end and some people now you know this was an opportunity to share something good in my career over sharing and been rewarded for bad behavior my entire career no honestly i mean drinking and i wrote a book about sleeping around. Everyone's like yeah. This is great and i'm glad i did it but you know i didn't realize how easy it had been for me. How easy my life had been how easy it is to be white and pretty and succeed and and yeah you can claim you have talent anyone can have talent and there are plenty of untalented people who are very famous and plenty of talented people who are at so. It's really not about that. Another a great thing from what happened was the election was made me get out of my own ass. It made me look around and say wait racism. What is the fucking deal here. I'm an idiot. I'm a white per. I don't know shit shit about racism. You know i'm part of the problem by not being educated about the problem you know i am complicit unless you know do something and so it made me really recalibrate recalibrate the work i want to do and the way i want to contribute and to be aware of everybody that is outside of my lane and that other people's experiences are unlike in my own and to get to know those experiences so we can make change and we can stick our necks out for people that need us to support them and use our platforms for powerful. Oh shit okay well. This sounds like a good time to take a break brandon. Do you see all my charges on <hes> insta- cart i do. I would like to give credit because you taught me how to use it and then i just went off into the sunset with it well. It's been really nice break for me well. I'm glad it's a break for you and it allows me to do get my food without anybody. Screwing it up. That's not directed at anyone sitting here. That's about big mama well. It's not like i was going to the grocery during the first place so that's a lie but it does allow me to order food while i'm even on the treadmill or at home or watching t._v. It's kind of nice to like. Take my time going through my grocery shopping from bed and i tried to do it sober and most of the time i am sober the great thing about ordering your food from insta- card is that you can use that time time that you would normally spend going to the grocery store. You can spend it exercising. I mean if you like kids. You can play with them. If you like naps you can take one. I'm going to go to install insta- cart or download the app use promo code chelsea at checkout and that will get me ten dollars off. Well it actually get all of you off your first order as well go to instant heart dot com or use the mobile app and use promo code chelsea. Who do you look up to in comedy and is there anyone in particular. Who's made you feel better about getting more personal. I mean let's just keep this from getting uncomfortable not including me. I'd never really wanted wanted to be a comedian. I didn't know that's what i wanted. I didn't again it was about initially and i know this is what i'm supposed to be doing. I'm supposed to be communicating. I'm supposed to always just tell the story about what's going on with me because what is going on with me. You know i wrote this book. I thought i was telling my story. You're telling so many people stories. We're all all of us. You can't get through the human experience without having trauma without having grief without having lost. It's just a matter of whether or not you've dealt with it and a lot of us have and a lot of us haven't and some may never and that's all right too but it's it's about wanting to move forward in your life and take leaps and be grounded for me when people talk about spirituality i was always like oh stones and shockers and massages and healing and whatever but for me it's about being grounded it's about being awake being engaged with every fucking person you make eye contact with every single day and and i lost my way a little bit with that you know i was just taking everything for granted and you know not looking people in the eye and being rushed sched and everything and so so for that part to sit still to get grounded and to be like okay this is it. Every interaction is about all of us. It's not just about me and my fucking paycheck. It's about us and that was a wakeup. Call for me. You know i think a lot of us feed ourselves and our families and we want to take care of our kids kids. Who wouldn't you wanna take care of your family and you wanna take care of yourself and we lose our way with that because we're supposed to be taking care of each other and we now no no. It's a big fucking problem so you know the world's getting browner and gay or so you just gotta get up on the fucking bus the <hes> so the world around you when metoo happened and everything everything how did that affect you. What kind of awareness did you have that that was a reality in the world. None i had no awareness. I did not know i mean i knew people were sexually assaulted. I'd never been sexually assaulted my friend. Mary claims that i haven't remembered but i don't recall that. She's like everyone's been chelsea. She's like of course you've been raped. You were just probably drunk. I don't think i was raised and then i'm like okay but i was was really alarmed. I did not know that it was not rampant. I thought harvey weinstein slept with actresses. I didn't know that he was raping actresses. You know what did you think were. You surprised no not really yeah the first pinas i ever saw i mean i had you know it's funny because the first peanuts i ever saw was my boss. When i was a waitress in new hampshire called me and i was so nervous i thought i was in trouble and then he was just like yet an a good time here you just asking dumb questions in eighteen and i never seen a penis at that point except for like my dad's when i was three by accident but <hes> adam corolla has an excellent observation that everyone thinks they're dead has a huge pena's because they always see it when there are three by accident so true. That's about the right age. Do see when you're three. I saw it again at had six and then that was the last but so this guy was just asking me like these just nothing questions and i didn't understand y and then i looked in he was openly like jerking off and then i just went to clean the popcorn machine and i was choked up i've been i was embarrassed and i didn't tell my parents and you know i didn't grow up like we grew up with no taboos. We talked about everything in it so if that happened to me and i never told hold anyone in internalized didn't kind of blame myself then i just thought well. This must happen all the time and it wasn't until i was much older that i was. It's like wow you know. I wish those guys don't do that to us now. They know their prey. They have an instinct of probably not consciously isley of who they can do that too. That won't say anything. He did it to me now or even like four years later i would have been like oh. My god bobby just showed me. His penis just like started jerking. You know what i mean. I would have exposed it but it is interesting that they have a sick sense. Six us six six just like a sixth sense. I guess it was another instance of me by not being aware of the other stories that were going. You know what i mean. It's another kind of rarified existence where i didn't fully grasp what was happening. I'm show disgusted misted an alarmed by and i'm also embarrassed for myself for not knowing more not being more educated not knowing what that women are dealing with on a regular other basis and how rampant it was when you started doing stand up. I'm sorry did you wanna clap. Stop that all right. How about the word problem of you. The word problematic comedy is not evergreen so i know i have stuff in my life. Do you have stuff that you've done and that you would look at now and say that's problematic. And how would you deal with that. How do you oh i think now we are in a period of high red alert and over correction but it's necessary necessary because people abuse their power and there's no evolution we can all change our jokes. They're still funny shit happening. It's not like the only funny stuff toughest making fun of people who are in marginalized communities. There's other funny shit going on. We can make fun of rich white guys now. Let's get that party started. It isn't funny how horrified they are. How it's like oh god you can be a white male and i was like no. You can't have a sense yeah. It's just so odd. Will they say i read somewhere that it was like a quality feels like a quality feels like a loss because it feels feels like something's being taken away from you so people white guys old white guys are like whoa the party's over it's like i can't fail a port anymore. What the fuck fuck yeah. I just grab posses when i need them. It's like no that party is over. You find a new party even just like in the comedy world you know i think there are first of all i just want to say. I have a lot of white male friends and i like white males but there are some writers and stuff who are like. I can't even get a job anymore. No yes you can you might have to be undeniable like the rest of us have had to be succeeded. See you know and that's a good thing that thrilled about that but it's hard for them. This divide and conquer thing that the man dan has put on us and that we've believed for so many it's ingrained in us systemic. This excessive one woman must come at the failure of another is. It's just it's not true you know but when we bond together we're gonna do something. The man's fears very much. We'll be a force and that's. I think you lead the away with that. You start your buck talking about infanta leising yourself there your success. This has made you into an infant where you have several had made you into where you allow these assistance. You don't know how to work as fucking single thing in your house and and it's interesting to now reading the rest of your book hearing the rest of your story going. She didn't have the parenting she needed because of tragedy the in your family and you had to become the caregiver caretaker stage companion and then you become successful because you're filling this unfilmable hall and you get power and you get assistance and you now know don't have to do for yourself aw and that makes you atrophied in a whole new way yeah it makes you atrophied and i remember you know i know that feeling of my when i started chelsea lately and i was thank you oh thanks and i remember walking to the stage one of the first shows and the e._p._a. And my executive producers walking and then there's a guy on a walkie the stage manager who was like she's walking. She's walking and i was like this is good. I like this. You know like everyone's paying attention to me now everyone has to i know where i am. I have to be here at a certain time. I have to be inherent makeup. It was like i created a life where everything was done for me so that i had finally parents in my mind everyone everyone on the show had to take care of me and so i could be the boss and the baby at the same time and for me that feeling was like i loved it you know and then eventually of course i got sick sick of it because that's not what i was looking for and it's not that i don't like to do what i do. I do like to do it but i again. It was the connection that i was missing. The attention the attention the attention shing gets you nowhere fast unless you are connecting with other people while that attention is happening yeah because it's real but it's also not real. It's their survival survival. Is you because they have to and so you start to feel like a mama bear and you're like oh anonima fixer a number eight so that all lined up all making cents for a few years it was great and it was wild and wonderful and then eventually. I got bored because i will grow bored with anything when you are injured like that. Everything's abandoned band-aid everything that you're trying to fix that but you're just trying to ignore it and move onto the other fun stuff you know and i had a lot of fun too so i always was like well. I'm having a great time. There can't be anything wrong with this behavior. I mean look out happy. I and it was nice to say all the things that you're kind of thinking about yourself but you're scared to tell anyone. You know you're like hey. I do some stuff that i'm kind of questioning. I need to tell somebody about it but you can't tell anyone until we figure for it out and so it was a great sort of awakening moment to learn about myself and have somebody insult me. That was like i was paying you know telling you may not insult me but somebody telling me negative things about my personality or my shortcomings that i was paying. I was like this is a great exchange and trade of information then you know it's not an opinion professional so it felt right and it felt right to share because this is great and then i was like like oh fuck. This is going to be like an apology tour like am. I gonna have to make amends like people go to a._a. And i was like you know because i ended so many friendships or relationships because people did did me wrong or they did something i found upsetting and i would just scorch earth and he said no. That's your blueprint for a break-up. That's how you think relationships end because that's how the first relationship ended ended and now that you know that you don't ever have to do it again and i never will. It's not an apology. I mean listen. Listen you grow in your change and you've shared every step of it with people and even though you go. I know you're not belittling your old books or your old work but you go. Oh it was just easy but so you might not realize that gave so many women keys to their own freedom and some that felt easy for you and talk about what this guy said. I mean you also while you were scorching. Earth were illuminating so many female voices us. I mean there are so many women comics. I know from your show you know and that so many people are aware of from your show you champion you produce so you know you really have lived by example so this may be an apology chore. People have a lot to be thankful for free. Oh okay sucking your hard and i'm sorry you had to look at my back all night. That's so terrible. We have to wrap it up. We're almost almost out of time but i wanted to just read something for my book before i go all right. These bracelets are called. I decide bracelets and the t shirts are outside site all the proceeds all the proceeds go to l._g._b._t._q. Youth so pick one up give it away. It's going to a good cause and and it's i decide is from part of the book that i'm gonna reach you guys. I didn't know them that. My brother's death was defining me. I didn't know that i had the ability you to say no to being defined by death. Now i was with a person dan who could help me process what happened and turn the parts of me that acted like a nine year old into a self self actualized adult who had come to a better understanding of what it means to dig deep and admit that you're in pain thereby beginning the process of relinquishing pushing that pain i was in a place where my brother dying no longer had to define my existence. It's part of who i am. Perhaps the biggest part and it may have helped steer in a certain direction but it is not all of me. I define me. No event or person does this. I define me. I decide who i am and how i'm going to behave and i choose to be better to look more carefully to trudge deeper to think about other people's pass and not judge someone for doing or handling something differently than i would to understand my limitations my shortcomings. That is my growth growth edge to know i'm going through something and not try to keep circling around it hoping to avoid go through it. Sit experiencing and feeling it not running to understand that things take time and to be okay sitting with my pain not to rush through life hopscotching over or around it. No one is fully cooked. No person jason is complete. I decided to better. You'll get to decide to thank you san francisco. Thank you said that was a fun show. Because is my sister and my niece were there are about show differ having comedian on stage with you. It was so nice actually because sarah knows how to command an audience so it was was nice to be up there with somebody who felt as comfortable as i did being in front of that many people and it felt like she was going to take you know when you're on stage with another person and it's your show. You feel responsible for everybody with her up there. I felt like oh sure in response yes even though it wasn't her responsibility. It felt like we were sharing responsibilities and i always you know how i feel about sarah silverman. I respect her a lot. I added newsstand updates sir. I added some places. I've never been before but i added so right now. I start touring again on october. Fourth in brisbane australia sydney melbourne auckland the new zealand and then on november eleventh. I come to pittsburgh cleveland. Grand rapids vancouver milwaukee indianapolis kansas city salt lake city. Eh go mormons oklahoma city. I've never performed there but karen's from there and toronto. I'm coming. I added more dates. I have fourteen newsstand updates. Everybody so come and see me. My book is called. Life will be the death of me. I'm on my stand up tour and i have accountable dot u._s. Page for anybody who wants to be more socially or politically active active. I have lots of things on there that can kind of lead you in the right way to take action okay rhonda. What are you doing this weekend. Whatever you're up through girl one a big circle jerk by if there's something that's interfering with your happiness. That's preventing you from achieving some of your goals as i want you to know that there is online counseling available for you. It's called better help. Better help offers licensed professional counselors who are specialized in all sorts of issues so as we all know everybody's dealing with something so whatever your issue is. I want you to know that there is an outlet for you. I know everybody can't afford to go to a psychiatrist grist or seek professional help in their personal lives. You may not have the time but everyone can go online. It's confidential and for a life will be the death of me with chelsea chelsea handler listeners. You will get ten percent off your first month with discount codes chelsea so you can get started today. Go to better dot com slash chelsea life will be the breath music production of iheartradio more podcast iheartradio visit the iheartradio app apple podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

sarah silverman chelsea chelsea adams adam corolla brandon l._a san francisco adams a. t. o. s. adams harvard chelsea chelsea donald trump Dan burt scare burt harvard beverly hills haiti chelsea
Last Day: Teaser

Last Day

04:17 min | 1 year ago

Last Day: Teaser

"So he had somebody goes from on the verge of dying. Pale slow pulse very low auction in level completely unresponsive to very much awake and alive and you kind of have of this section that when somebody has experienced like that it would be really thankful for being alive but it doesn't happen like that this is last day a new podcast from lemonade media about the things that are killing us and I'm your host Stephanie Woodall's Wax Fox. Sometimes we'll go for the same patient three or four or five times a day. It's frustrating for cruise at times because they go in. They grab optum. They do everything they can for them. They wake him back up again to the hospital and then they walk back out. We're trying to understand the why and the how the of America's most massive epidemics by zooming in on one person's story more specifically their last day body was pushed up against the doors like get in fully really really hard in then Garlan arms toy. You just call nine one one. Could you tell me is dead. Yeah I was still hoping the navy he wasn't then we rewind the tape. We look at all the circumstances that brought them to their last day so we can figure out how they got there and how we as a society have gotten here. Our first season will be talking about opiates because unfortunately it's the epidemic I know best at my brother. Harris wiggles comedian beloved human died of a heroin overdose house in two thousand fifteen so naturally we're talking to Comedians as Ari and Sarah Silverman both noted experts on opioids royds. Now that is a lie. They were friends of my brothers. They are not experts in this field at all well. I think I had an incredibly probably naive view of what his addiction was like. I thought oh well. He's going to rehab getting help like that means. He's fine. He's checked in then. Everything's fine anytime you acted like he was serious at all around here as he acted like you were insane. He's a what are you yeah. I'm fine We also talked to policymakers like President Obama's drug czar. Michael Botticelli had a really great dentists that I loved. I did the patient history where where I disclosed the fact that I had history of substance use that I was in recovery and I talked about it and then after a dental procedure said. Would you like a prescription for Percocet and I'm like you gotta be kidding me and Boston's Mayor Marty Walsh. I have no sympathy at all for copyright purdue farmer the use that drug to kill nope tens of thousands of people and family members who have lost loved ones to opioid overdoses not GonNa think of me as a matic something just commit and I told him that I only think of miss by never an addict we imagined death to be somewhere in the very distant future when we're old and wrinkled and gray and surrounded by loved ones reflecting Zhang with pride and joy on a life well-lived. That's not what this show is about. This is a show about what's not supposed to happen. It's about endings that are sudden and unexpected if you are a human being which I have to assume that you are then last day coming. This fall is a podcast for you. Subscribed today on apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Ari Michael Botticelli Stephanie Woodall Garlan Marty Walsh President Obama America apple Sarah Silverman heroin Harris Boston Zhang
The Queer World

Keep It!

1:08:33 hr | 2 years ago

The Queer World

"We're back with another riveting episode of flow bird. Oh my God. No one would ever confuse without thank you though. We are going into politics guys, Britney Spears. This bat and urban, urban as all her urban and smart Vegas residency domination drops in February at the MGM which is literally like two blocks or where she was before. It's there by the way, her comeback. It was hard to believe in this comeback because she abandoned her own comeback. The announcement she's like, I'm here for three minutes and then have to go to where in Vegas? No gas. Okay. Did did you watch the live stream? My. The last three was which she announced that she was going to make an announcement on Ellen, and then she had a livestream to go first. She announced she I, she made an announcement that there was going to an announcement, and then the livestream happened. And I guess during Ellen fans are outside of the part MGM in Vegas, her music is playing. Mario Lopez there materialized. Nobody introducing Britney. Although he introduced her and then had to introduce her again because she didn't come out. And then music played. She rose from the stage waved at her fans and their walked to her cars Allen or the live stream. The livestream don't was like Alice YouTube channel Ellen. She had no reason to be there other than to announce something would occur. Eventually another announcement. Well, you know, I good for Britney. I don't. I, I feel like that's all I have to say about her for the last five or six years, just good for her. My feeling about her is always the same, which is shrug. I'm rooting for her. Yeah, it's it doesn't really go, don't I wish he had just called it hip hop inspired because Hello, If you've been to a urban environment recently it is overrun with white people. No longer means what you think it means anymore. But other than that, it'd be cold brew inspired exactly vendors. Has figured out her lane like this ship song is just like catchy. And then she just dances like a maniac, has heart attack on stage. He's like, that's what she should have always been doing for the singing. No, but she's she's a better dancer than everyone would be competing always say no one dances faster. She just this is you figure you've hacked it Sierra. Congratulations. I'm proud of her to hope that she just like she's gonna tour. Dance sounds a lot of work. I know. Two hours. I I feel she gets up in the morning and step up, movie falls out of her. Well, if Justin Timberlake and go on tour, okay, I saw people posting videos from his concert or he's last night in New York, and I was a little disgusted by the people who uploaded those instagrams. I'm not going to mention any names, but the hard Justin Timberlake turn. I don't. I mean, he was like annoying at the Super Bowl, but I don't have the animosity. Man of the woods was a lot of its performance? Yes. Rocky about it. Okay. And love sex magic with Sierra. What are we talking about show later up. There will be an interview with me and karama Brown from Netflix queer eye. I know we hate talking about the NFL and the white people who run it, but it's back in the news. Again, the Super Bowl seems like it is a year round top it at this point. But according to Rolling Stone, both Ron and pink turned down offers to perform in the February halftime show. And so-. Maroon five was basically the NFL's last choice. Also have to say a reality show would have been amazing. Also, a pink halftime show have been amazing. I'm I feel bad, but. All those carousels and like things she'd be tops. The important part is that they turned it down and solidarity with Colin capita. Yes, which is a good thing. So. The most zone. I'm excited that they turned it down because of that and less excited that Adam LeVine was like. Sure, right. I mean, it's a funny thing because one these roles going to be in Atlanta this year. So everyone was like, great. You have an opportunity to actually feature be plethora of artists from Atlanta, most of whom are black. And instead they went with maroon five. But the other side of that is if you're black artist, you probably don't wanna perform at the Super Bowl because of how they treated Colin Kaepernick and because of how they've handled all of these other issues. So it's sort of a all of a sudden designing women. That's right. White people. And also Cardi b.'s said that she is not interested in performing in the Super Bowl either and people. Estimate because Colin, which guess assume that all these people. We should not necessarily seem that it's important. It's just like people. I don't think ludicrous turning it down just because you know he has a bar mitzvah for that day. He's being offered it. I doubt it, but Cardi b. turned it down because of the color Catholic thing. And you know a lot of people Rubert that she would have been performing with maroon five because they're single girl. Like you has been number one for thirteen. Fuck in week is disturbing. I mean, I say the support of her. It is the chain smokers. It's the biggest head of the decade. What by the way, maroon five has a number of singles like that where it's just the number one forever hundreds of millions of us. And there's just no reason why just is other than people like them. Well, that'll be the halftime only one in that video or their other. Now I actually have seen the video. There's a bunch of women in it, is that the white version of Drake's nice for what now? Because it it's one. They're white women in nice for what I and then also just Livia mind. No. And wasn't Emma Roberts or the Miami one of those girls doing. Yeah, one of the two of them, but it's like it's a wider swath of ladies in the and the girls like you. You're not necessarily going to recognize everyone versus like nights where what you will accept you didn't recognize her my knee. Is that who's that Watson or is it robs are one of them. One of them Thompson of a bunt. I'ma Lazarus who wrote the statue liberty appeal? Peo- my favorite. I love cats. This is all to say that a lot of musicians don't wanna be up in the Super Bowl halftime show, but not just musicians. Comedian and actress and podcast rival. Puck has rival. That's right. No, you you, you're her. She salary. Your Mozart are rival is the daily. That's okay. Oprah, not Amy Schumer. All right. For every shiver took the Instagram to declare that she will not appear in any Super Bowl ads next year. And she called from maroon five to drop out of the halftime show. I didn't see that part. To wrote. I wonder why more white players aren't kneeling. Once you witness the truly deep inequality at endless racism, people of color face at our country, not to mention the police brutality and murders why not kneel next year brothers. Otherwise, how are you not complicit. I think it would be good of maroon. Five backed out of the Super Bowl, light riana did I personally told my reps, I wouldn't do any Super Bowl commercials this year. I know it must have like a privilege as sacrifice, but it's all I got hit an NFL with the advertisers is the only way to really hurt them. I, that's not how you got you donate a lot of money organization or many organizations that are fine trying to fight police brutality girl. Do. I think it's awesome that she said, brothers or brothers and sisters, fifty times like she's Marvin Gaye. She said, stand up for your brothers and sisters of color. Hottest thing guy can do is get down on one knee not to propose, but to reject the tree. Of his teammates by this country. That is the weirdest way up. You know what? I could tell that she wrote this or so, again, a good example of you should have stopped early. After I'm not taking any money would have been like, okay, but then she had to keep going and you're just like out on one knee. Maroon five should drop out of the Super Bowl would have been sufficient. You know. Colin Kaepernick was turning her on. Imagine being like I'm into just not on my mind when occurring daddy meal against police brutality. Anything is he when it came out, I was like, you know what? Good for her, but it did feel she was trying to step on his moment. Run and pink were getting the majority of the press for not performing. And she was like me too. I'm not doing it either which sure, but I just I care less that you're not doing this then re on pink. The only prominent voice of heard though be like, maroon five. Why are you doing this? Because it's weirdly Aban where you don't expect them to have any political ideas or whatever. I think we're solo artist. It would have been a little bit more conspicuous, but anyway, maroon five, maroon actually seven, whatever. Berov a bunch of white guys at one very accomplished black, perform a Grammy nominee maybe winner on his own. It's it's weird because if riana had done the show, people would have been like, grow, what are you doing? But she would have never done this out as we found out. But with maroon five is sort of just. Okay. Like no one's really upset. That was really thinking, yeah, no one expects much from them. They have inexplicable hits that I love except for garlic. I, I don't like the song I know man. Oh, man, but moves like Jagger. Unfortunately, they decided to go full throttle guess maroon five. And it's also no shade. Neshat she appeared alongside Seth Rogan at its sixteen, but like commercial, are we show she was going to be in a commercial. She wasn't what last year hasn't, unless she is something coming out. This is like I'm turning down this offer that has not been made to me yet because people are not yet making their Super Bowl comers yet. I also not be appearing Super Bowl commercial, and I'm I'm sure there. I mean, maybe it's a nice preemptive strike for next year. When Super Bowl, commercials starts roll around. People are going to be like, oh, I'm also not doing one right, but that's the other thing. We're like the big deal about it being like Riyan as we on a very conceivably could have been a Super Bowl performer. If. Who is I don't wanna be if dies. Had said, I'm not Super Bowl. The impact would not have been strong because no one's asking Jewett and similarly with pink where you were like, oh, you're both very famous people who probably could have had this gig. On the person you could be gently Muniz to number one Rita or is a choice thou- because with her black magic, she could miraculously end up at the soup. Right. Why are you here? But she's there for four halftime show guys. You heard it here. I keep it is not doing a live show the Super Bowl halftime show. We're turning it down, turning it down. It would have been really cute. I mean, I love people screaming when when you say Catherine. It's fun. How do we feel about Amy now? I mean, I commend the effort. I guess she used to be very messy and it seems like she still messy, but she's trying to not be messy. I mean, I think the real props here Goto riana and pink. Yes. Amy short better better than the alternative. There's room for everybody under pinks. Big top. Oh, how very this is me. I always think inside Amy Schumer was excellent. Her stand up. I, I have enjoyed some of the time. I agree. She's less messy now than she was before. The Instagram posts could have been a little shorter. That's very stand on her. Every Instagram posts could be shorter. Just rule of thumb. If you're if you're getting into what could be a graph too long, she was like, she's like those hot guys on Instagram who instead of just posting their photo of their ads and going, they decide to post like three paragraphs about something four. Fortune cookie wisdom. Like, you know, I was in this industry, China, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like this. You don't need to post all the lyrics to fast car near like. Your thirst picture, all your hard times. Anyway, it's nice that people are turning it down. I know that last year there was a little bit of criticism against lady Gaga performing, but I feel like this year if anyone that was two years ago, Justin Timberlake was well. Wow, that's right. Well, he did it last year and we were like, of course he did don't watch SuperBowl anyway guys. How about that? Right? Leave at that. Nobody watch the Super Bowl. You won't have to watch five message of the NFL. Don't watch the SuperBowl and his story. Yeah, I concur. It's it's super easy for me not to watch football and I'm really myself to talk about it. All right. You heard it here. First, we are not gonna talk about the Super Bowl next year. Congrats to next year players, three doors down or whoever's gonna fucking take the most interesting happens that we have to talk about it anyway. We'll be back talking about Louis c. k.. Louis, didn't you used to work at stitch fix. I was their employee of the month several times. I did all the stitching all the right way. I was trying to do a joke. Remember the name of hit fix. Oh, that's right. Actually used to work well, no one remembers hit fix anymore. So don't you worry about. Anyway, stitch fix as an online personal styling service that finds and delivers clothes shoes and excess rates to fit your body budget, lifestyle, everything. Just go to stitch, fix dot com. Slash keep it and tell them, you're sizes, what styles he like and how much you wanna spend on each item. You'll be paired with your very own personal stylist who will hint at five items and in the right to your door, which means Louis will get five, Karen carpenter shirt. Oh my God from Genta donde chartreuse my favorite range of colors. I love tropical skittle color. Then you try them on pay only for what you love and return. The rest shipping exchanges and returns are always free. There's no subscription required. You can sign up to receive scheduled shipments or get your fix. Whenever you want. Stitch fixes styling, the is only twenty dollars which is applied towards anything. You keep from your shipment get started. Now it's stitch, fix dot com, slash keep it and you'll get an extra twenty five percent off when you keep all five items in your box that stitch fixed com slash keep it to get started today, stitch fix dot com, slash keep it. I don't think you can even go to the website, hit fix dot com. It was a, it was acquired by Uproxx. It's very emotional for me. This episode of keep it is brought to you by care of a monthly subscription vitamin service that delivers completely personalized vitamin and supplement packs right to your door. It sounds like a pun on CARA, like a vitamin service. You start in Tara Brown, loves vitamins. Vitamins guys? I, you know, I like a little vitamin d because when I grew up in Seattle, there was no sun. Oh, sure. A little bio tin for the nails and hair God little fish oil. Cute. Well, you know, care of a fun online quiz that asks you about your diet, your health goals, and lifestyle choices, and takes only five minutes to find out what vitamins and supplements use, specifically need your vitamins. Get delivered right to your door and personalized easy to remember daily packs. Perfect. For a busy on the go lifestyle and your monthly subscription box can be easily modified at anytime. That is very useful because sometimes I grab a handful of vitamins and put them in my pocket. I forgot to take them and then I wash my pants. Interesting, yes. Do you reflect on Flintstones vitamins often? Delicious. They were. I kind of do or the gummy ones to have never had a gummy by our how Flintstone Gomez at my apartment. You're dolt say, allegedly, that might be drug abuse. Track your progress with the care of app and earn rewards when you remember to take your vitamins, fine. I'll take a real vitamin God by using care of which also has a selection of vegan and vegetarian supplement options for whoever you people are. For twenty five percent off your first month of personalized care of vitamins, visit take care of dot com and enter keep by the way that care of is about TAKS c. a. r. e. f. just didn't know how care of was spelt that's take care of dot com and enter keep. I thought that we were done hearing about Louis CK when he wasn't busy creeping into comedy rooms to do unexpected set popping up and sellers. But on Monday morning on Howard starred Sirius XM radio show. Yes, that's a back catalog. I don't know if you want to investigate like talk about things that will be problematic. Now are feel like every awful thing that we find that about Trump. It's like, oh, he said this on a Howard Stern interview ten years ago during a five hour interview on Howard start. I'm just going to say, find that episode, delete it from me, and there's no way you said some things that are helpful. But Sarah Silverman was on it and. She jumped out the window seat, sad. Some comments about Louis c. k. and his masturbating in front of people without their consent. She said that he's done it to her before only plot twist. It was with her consent. She said, I don't know if I'm going to write saying this. I've known Louis forever. I'm not making excuses for him, so please don't take it that way. But we are peers. We are equals when we were kids, and he asked if he could masturbate in front of me sometime I'd go, fuck. Yeah, I wanna see that. It's not an analogous to the other women that are. They're talking about what he did to them. He could offer me nothing. We were only just friends, so sometimes, yeah, I wanted to see it. It was amazing. Sometimes I would say fucking no growth, and we got pizza. I'm not saying everyone should embrace Lewis. Again. I believe he has remorse. I just want to talk about it on stage is going to have to find his way or not find his way. I like that and examine. However, it's, she said it herself. It's with this headline and story blew up because it's not analogous in any way to the other stories like this is not. I don't care what he did consensually with his good friend like thirty five years ago which a comedian she tweeted at Sarah sane. Exactly that, yeah. Yeah. Louis c. k. accuser, Rebecca Correy said to be clear CK had nothing to offer me as our two was his equal on the set the day. He decided to sexually harass me. He took away a day I worked years for and still has no remorse. He's a predator who victimize women for decades and lied about it. And Silverman apologized after that, say she mostly regretted that she weighed in on the topic at all, right. I mean, historically, I think Sarah Silverman has been just among the rat or comics period. I just think she somebody who's like, you know what I've said, dumb fucking things. I'll list them or lack very, yeah. To sum. Yeah, I'm sure Megan, Kelly, love, sir. That'd be seen that if MLK we're alive, he would have voted for Bernie Sanders. See all kinds of dumb shit. Frankly, she blocked me last election because for that. And then also when she tweeted last year that earn twenty sixteen, you should go vote. It's your civil disobedience. You don't know what you're talking about. So stop talking about shit. You know nothing about that doesn't make any fucking sense. Voting is not civil disobedience. Go read, throw, read a book again, everyone problem reading books in the hand of an angry dot. Am I right? It's only civil, just like, let's get into the definitions of words here. She, you know, the thing that's frustrating because she is like the and I think who was Jen Kirkman pointed out that we, we often are asking women to weigh in on these terrible men and it's shitty because like he's make Lucy making Sarah Silverman look stupid, like from afar because she is going to be asked about him because she is publicly friends with him and like that French. Hip. That's the thing. These dudes. It's like a betrayal to these people that you care about, and you make the women in your life. Look dumb for one standing by you and then and then in his case, in particular, not having any remorse, because if he at least public remorse, because if he had she could at least sit down when she's asked about him and say, look at this thing, he said, look at what he's done, he's trying to be better. She doesn't even have anything to point to. So when she sits down to talk about him, it's just purely from will he didn't do it to me basically, which is not helpful to anyone, right? And no one's asking these about this because he still wrapped by Dave Becky who was Louis CK's manager. We're not asking other prominent men in the comedy scene, like what's going on with Louis CK. Technically we ask Jimmy Kimmel, and that turned into. But it is weird that people being white women. What do you think about someone masturbating in front of you about this even cases that aren't journalistic like recently on watch what happens? Live, Lena Dunham was a guest, and. Okay. So Andy Cohen does this bit I'm already interested. Yes, called plead the fifth where he basically asked somewhat not intrusive questions, but difficult questions and basically challenges the guest to answer them. Well, he he asked Lena Dunham question that is like a provocative enough. He said, who's the most misogynist celebrity? And she sat there and thought about it and she goes Daniel Tosh. Now, here's the thing that answer is qualified, but he would never ask that to a male guest you would because you know, they would not have like a good enough answer. Whereas someone like Lena Dunham has been, you know, kind of forced to think about that talks about that publicly and stuff, and it's just even though it's a good question for her to answer, it's not something that everybody would have to answer. You know when Andy asked. Manashe how many penises she'd seen and didn't ask Taylor swift that question either. Nikki said, why are you asking me? I have had a man for like a decade. Just had one boyfriend and you roll up and he's like, hi, I'm Zane. Necking also questioned a lot of your judgment. If you think any aspect of Louis c. k. masturbating was amazing. Amazing pretty specific word to apply to that situation. That's well also by the way, Sarah sliver that they're Silverman sister talked about how he like masturbated in front of her twenty times which anyway, these are all these like soundbites are getting conflicted and like put juxtaposed against these other women's stories which are horrifying the protective of criminal ish behavior. Which again is strange because Laura Silverman said it wasn't criminal, though it was disgusting. It's like, no, it is criminal. Asking period is weird, sue, even just going back to whether or not you said yes, even asking deserves a long discussion about why he felt the need to even ask that it's weird because I always assumed that this was some weird like dynamic that started happening. When key was, you know. Oh. Famous this nigga been masturbating since he was just like a kid running around the neighborhood, his parents ever walk it on him doing this, somebody stop. Yeah, it does seem like there's a larger psychological issue there. Rating since the jump. Thank you little Kim's lep. Alma. Also women. You don't have to answer questions when these people are the takeaway. And I think like you can just say, like, I think that the best so far has been Robin rate where she sort of just like, I don't know him. I hope figures it out. She killed coming and then she shut them in front of a bus, but you don't actually. And I think that there is something to like if you're at an inner, you're sitting in an interview, and you are asked that question in you recognize it to be sort of a double standard. Just say it right then be like winning who was Howard Stern who is the last male comedian. You ask that question to and and leave it at that because because then you're challenging these idiots to fuck and be better at all. And you're planning out the fact that there is a double standard and that it isn't fair that you're asked these questions. I wonder if he's masturbated in front of cement. I do not want to. They just just kick back, you know, put on space balls just with it out. You're saying that there might be more people who know about this. Yeah, yeah. A little circle chart situation. We don't know because they don't ask any of the do I want to uncover this. I wanna get to the bottom of it. Okay. All right. Thank you. Dr, Dr. Okay. Star for them. Law and order. When we're back l. magazine, what do you do. Bozo we're gonna talk about flow guys. It was Katherine birthday this week. How old is she? I don't know. How does she now? She has the most say of anyone. Never Frenchwoman. Wow. Can I be like disapproving French person named like Sandrine who's I was like? No, whenever you talk. Sure. I love Sandrine. Sandrine is hair. She is not. I got. It's been years since I took French. Sorry, bad. I'm early, listen, fragrances. Let's talk about him. Okay. Did you now that a lot of women say that what drew them to their man is how he smells draws me to a man before they talk and his Bank account. Same. So. Ditching that body spray from college and that designer Cologne, he picked out of them off five years ago and of his gain because there's a fragrance company that will help him do that flirter instead, instead of testing a on a strip of paper or worse being ambushed in a busy department store, you can get to know each of floors sense through pictures words and music on their site. If you like, what you hear in see odds are you'll like the scent, then you actually try them on your skin at your own place and pace. Each floor that's p l. u are sent is created by world class perfumers and inspired by real moments for your real life idea of your own pace. By the way, say lightly, not rush me on this is very important to me not some silly idea that a celebrity or a clothing designer thinks you should live up to. And because all that matters is what you like. You don't have to code any fancy fragrance jargon to find something. That's right. Frio although we think they live up to it and we're pretty much celebrities. Sarah, Laura's a completely transparent fragrance company. They tell you every ingredient in their products and whites there. No secrets, no chemicals and no bullshit floor create sustainably crafted award, winning fragrances, delivered with transparency at an honest price. So go to flirt dot com today and use promo code keep it to get twenty percent off your custom. Flirt sample set, pick three cents to try and get credit towards a full-size bottle of your favorite. That's promo code. Keep it at flirt dot com to try three flirt fragrances of your choice at twenty percent off p. h. l. u. r. dot com. Not FLU are cutting. Overall. The midterms are less than two weeks away, and everyone is pulling out all the stops to get people registered to get to the polls. John Lovett is popping out of people's fridges still dressed like Sindbad at unique on. Fabra I'm sure is you know, yelling at people from his car. We are all devoted to getting people to vote. However, l. magazine. Maybe should've stopped with their attempt odd, Twitter, last week. They ran a fake story with the headline Kim Kardashian and Connie west are splitting up and the link to it was just a page, encouraging people to register to vote. A lot of people were not happy with that. 'cause I. It was dumb down down l. you are kind of a news organization. You can't just make things up and then say, well, it was for a good cause. No, the good. 'cause you do journalism, so making up news is a bad thing. Yeah, it is weird to not put any warning or any sort of clue that this is that this tire? Yeah, yeah. At all. Like really trying to pass it off as like one of their stories is bizarre. Also, I think I saw people that were like, you know, they clicked on it and they weren't registered to vote and they'd registered. So it is one of the things where you're like, I guess if it got some people to vote, but I wonder how many people clicked on that. Like, fuck you l. like now I'm not gonna vote or like now I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna read any more coverage of the ship because I'm also vote because l. magazine tricked me. Fake story gain, Kim also they stole that fucking tweet. Oh no. That was all over Twitter before that. The first person who did that was trans activists, Ashley, Marie, press. Did she just had this random tweet that was like, oh, you're not gonna hear about like something about like Kim and Konya putting up or something, and it was a link to that, and she is not a journalistic organization. Doing joke. Right? And then it became sort of a mean that people started doing on the winter. On the weather hazard office. Did one themselves stealing the original one from ashort. That's Steve. So it wasn't even at a ridge all thing that they did. It was clearly something they saw other people do and get a lot of positive feedback force. So they thought it was benign enough to do. Yes. Also an end. Like if you're a comedian, if you're a performer in your doing something like this and whatever and your entertaining. But like especially if you're a publication like voting, you should. We shouldn't be tricking people in the voting people should be voting because it's important to do because they're American citizens who care about their country, like making this thing where it's like, ooh, Hoo. See, you cared about him. But now you're gonna vote is just not the way to move forward really is not the way our democracy should be functioning like you should just be honest with people. You should vote because it's important, not because you clicked on a link that ended up somewhere else. As you said like there are probably people who clicked on it and then like I don't know registered and then now want to save salt. Okay, fine. They're still something to me about the angle of like, ooh, juicy. News about pop culture. Tricked you dumb ass. Now you're on like this is like shaming people who are kind of into pop culture in. It's just guys were we already like, I think people feel shame for like being into celebrities, and I don't think there's anything wrong about being an celebrities. So it's just not acute angle to also if you're l. magazine, you should know something about the extra pop culture and politics l. like it. Is that something though that, yeah, that people who are into celebrity gossip and news are in voting. When I have heard that there are for example, pods of America listeners who don't vote. So really everyone needs to be looking at themselves and your hobbies and what you're interested in, what you turned you for entertainment is not a judgment call and how smart you are or hound gauge you are with politics. And I think I've never encountered a person IRL who's like I can engage with about pop culture who specifically like, I'm not gonna vote, but I do meet people who should be very smart. Art who have like asinine reasons why they don't wanna vote me like shit. Right anyway. I was also annoyed because this turned into a hot new story for conservative outlets that were like l. magazine spreading fake news while they kind of are well. And then they like they, I got written up for dragging it in the Washington Examiner. They always get like IRA Madison. The third and Roxane gay decrying magazines like l. and teen vogue which are killing women's media. So this is what you did. Well, look, what you made me do be be touted by the Washington Examiner, like the daily caller tweeted, that it was dove. Konya responded to that with like either them or Breitbart with. I agree. It's just that thing that wear generally news organizations and all publications like need to take a better. Oh, look. That right now should is crazy. Like we things are crazy and you are contributing to to all these conversations and you're just contributing your sources of information. And so taking a second and being like, how are we helping? How are we hurting? What are we gonna do about this shit. There's, you know, are we going to run a story about Avangard that is not like a glowing fucking slobber fast because she's being covered that way. Other places like just because we're a women's magazine or whatever where fashion magazine doesn't mean that we can't participate in this climate in a useful way. So it's just like there was also just no fucking thought that went into it, which is also a self, congratulatory joke done for re tweets, and that's for the rest of Twitter. Don't do that magazines. Just help you vote. That seems to work fine to November six. So make sure you and your friends are registered and visit votes America dot com. For all the resources and information that you actually need. America's got your back checking out. Up next, an interview with queer is Romo brand. And we're back. I'm sitting here with Kerama Brown from Netflix. We're, I is there resident culture expert, and we're going to get into a conversation about politics is passed on the real world and more Graham. Oh, hey, you are the culture expert on queer eye. So what's poppin in the culture right now? Like what's a thing that you would imbue on? Most people see my my town of culture is very misleading. Okay. I'm actually the mental health expert on the show that fixes the hearts and minds, but. Okay. Yeah, that that's a long title. It is. Yeah, who came up a little bit earlier in our little mini group session? I would be the heart expert. Okay. Yeah. Change that they're not, but if you petition it, maybe. Yeah. But, yeah. I mean, like in the culture right now, what people need to focus on, let's focus on like figuring out how to get Kanye west back on his meds. That'd be good. I love that. I don't know who that is. Don't know. Culture don't know who you're talking about culture. I do not subscribe chemical. You do not. I do not. The whole because what have a home meaning of keep it is cats. If someone cancels you, I've almost been cancelled before by the right. Okay. I probably deserved it if someone cancelled me, I would just go to Europe and chill. Yeah, just hang on cancel meeting. We know. Okay. Heart expert. Yeah, hard. You want to reach out to then you want you want someone to reach out to cognac. Yeah, I want. I want his physician to encourage him to get back on his medication which he has openly admitted that he is off and I want him to find support through therapy consistently because I don't think he's ever dealt with the trauma of paying for the surgery that ultimately ended his mother's life. And I think that that plays into stardom and everything else, and I, I'm not trying to diagnose. I don't know the man, but I think there we should be rallying around him instead of cancelling him. Literally the same reason why ended up in the White House earlier this year because I'm like, I can't cancel Trump and Pence. I might not have voted for them, but I must go in there and try to advocate and try to change some hearts and minds in hopes that things can change. See, I was gonna talk about that later. We. Jump into you don't wanna cancel Pence miss pants, who's out here campaigning with Martin Harris who thinks that homosexuality should still be a legal. She is out there stealing Harriet. Samson Harris's haircut. And putting evil on it. You don't want to. You're so shady. I want to educate her. I don't want to cancel her. I want to educate her and open her mind and open her heart up. I truly believe that's where it goes. Because the thing is if we say cancel, she's going to find a group of people also feel cancel or rejected and say, let's band together and vote someone else in office who also believes these this nonsense x. men were formed completely accidents reform. Seriously. Yeah. And I'm not defending Campan's or might pens or the trumps at all. But I do think is important as us instead of focusing on that one fact of saying there had to be other external issues that were going on. And now that we've seen what has happened there, how can we make sure that we don't repeat that behavior? How can I work with other people who have different views in me so that they can encourage their elected officials to say this now, okay behavior. So if we were in a position where the Reagans were an office, we have Trump's in office and office that are even worse. I. Greek out to those Republicans and say, this is what's happening. So the next time you vote, I need you understand how that vote is affecting me investing my family and affecting our country, and hopefully you'll make a decision in that booth to vote for someone who's going to support us all. But sometimes you gotta throw a brick wall. You do Turkey towed, tooth, throw bricks to be towed you like the end shade Ambra, but that's just like we have, you know, people on both ends of the spectrum. I think you need both u. n. I, I mean, this is a conversation that my cast mate and I have Jonathan Vanessa, have all the time. John is very vocal. He's very vocal, but he's vocal on opposite and he's like, cancel them. I don't not how for on gay. He doesn't wanna talk to any of them. He doesn't wanna speak to them and I'm like, what does that get us? Now you're here and I'm here and none of us talking. Have you ever lived in a household where someone is not talking to you? Well, my father did talk to me because he abandoned me. How did it make. Okay. Oh happen. So I get it when people aren't commute, how does that feel? It's it's the worse, yes, but you at least visas still people who are your family, you love them. You know, it's not someone who would, but hear me. I'm with the little match girl. Hear me out with this though. I did not vote for President Trump. I do need him succeed at this point and I need us to succeed, but by him twenty twenty hold on here we got hold of hear me out. I do believe that we have to vote him out in twenty twenty and I do believe the elections coming up on over six are very important that people need to go vote. But until the day that we are in a space that we're going to be voting Trump out of office right now, I need him to succeed. He is no the president of our country, and I do not agree with majority of what he does, and I don't believe that he stands for my values and doesn't mimic my attitude in my ideals. But I do believe that if we can use get. Enough people to influence him that there could be a way that he could succeed for all of us because until he's out of office, he still making decisions on your behalf so we can fight against him all. We want to pretend like he's not in office. He's not my president, but then the day he is. And so do we wanna make him work and work for us? Or do we want to pretend not Dan, let them keep making foolish decisions. I will say body anybody. Anybody just that like. Like come on I. This is certainly a coup by ish feel as not really my eyes nights real, hey, Listrik I do want. I do want to ask though what happened? Nails? What happens if he fails? I feel like he's already fail. Thank you. So what is what is happening men's feel it we're watching children being cages. We're watching all of these direct effects of him failing. And so as a country instead of saying, look, failed, we knew this is going to happen all my gosh. He's horrible. How do we get to a space where we worked together so that he can't succeed and succeed for all of us. And I think it starts with influencing those we think are different than us. I was at a governor's debate in Illinois recently in Quincy Illinois, and it was ninety five percent Republican in there and majority of them were between the ages of fifty five and seventy five and white. And here I am thirty seven years old black gay guy, droplet. Binga on. We did not. We did not actually actually watch them boo. Majority of that the bait. I mean booboo every time educating was brought up boot everytime healthcare with brought up boo, every time something that I value care about healthcare they're about to die. So here we go. So the person I was with said the same thing, you said they don't care about it. So why do I need you talk to them? And I spent the hour after the bait walking around to each of those people and helping them to understand why it's important that they care putting a human face on these issues that peop- policy restoring out to make us feel like we have to either be left or. Right, so voters? Yes, I agree talking to people who can vote. Yes. Rump Pence far voters older Jordan door. That is how you. Elections and we got again there, and even my even my interaction with Karen pences, chief of staff was for me to go in there and say she has an ear to Karen, Karen has an air to Mike do. I believe one conversation is going to change things dramatically, but maybe I could seep into your subconscious. So the next time you make a decision FREDDY, Krueger paint? Yeah. Freddie Krueger was a bad bitch, babe, listen, if. Okay, if I could be Freddie Krueger do it. Yeah, thank you. Trump wouldn't be an office that because you on his dream more than that, but let's not get at. I wanna talk. You see less militant now than your early reality show days. 'cause I've always wanted to talk to you. Yes, about the fact that you are so mad on the real world? Yeah, about chevrondelo making out with the white man. So miscount saps it. I'm so glad. And now you have a white outside. You have WI fi on say, but let's be clear. I wasn't mad at. Vonda dating a white man. Okay. I was upset that savannah had a boyfriend who she was prancing around and was sleeping with another man. So my morality, my issue was if you wanna break up with him, give the man a chance to go about his business, but don't cheat on him. But see the thing was, is that viewed it also say that she wasn't as connected to black culture as you were, which she wasn't. Okay. And that wasn't a that wasn't a knock on her for day. It wasn't knock on her, but the way that we start associated things is, oh, you said she's not connected to black culture and then she's you. You're upset because she's sleeping with a white guy. No, I'm saying you're not connected black culture and let me try to expose you and let me I'm also saying, stop cheating. Go ahead and let him go and then like sleep with the manual to sleep with and now misconception. And so the thing was in the reason it was a misconception, which is why you see the manual in front of me as because I did. No, how to articulate myself and I also wasn't an pathetic listener. So everything was coming out with anger, anger, anger, anger. So now I'm at a space where I don't need to communicate to anger. I can communicate you love and understanding. And then my thoughts come out more clear and people now are like, oh, so you really went net angry back then you didn't know how to articulate yourself. That's see. Okay. Gotcha. Other tough guy, Lovett other Dr. Keep going on the red carpet in February s? Your t-shirt? Yes, with nigger nigga crossed out neither neither there. Yes. Yes. So what's up with that? Neither. So I personally, yeah, we use on the show freely CARA and I do. Okay. I don't. I didn't grow up, you know, with that being a word that, you know, I don't use, you know, and I understand you know that some people don't feel comfortable within, but I also feel like a statement like that is a bit sliding in the respectability politics for me, but I just always wanted to ask you about that shirt. I would love you. Emme are going to be friends for the rest of our lives. Knows I'm being very ill, so I wore that shirt. First of all, I don't subscribe to that word. And the reason I know subscribed to that word is because I spent a lot of time with people who are older generation to me, and so I understand the pain that word us. There was a time that I casually through that word around, especially when I was in high school, I say even my, where are you from? I'm from Houston, Texas, and then got divorced. I moved to parkland Florida where the shooting just happened and I'm from Milwaukee. My family uses that were my mom does my grandmother does. Yes. Yes. Me out. I've never had a problem with older people. Yeah, in the black community, this is it's different, you know? And this is one of the things with that word, but so the end it will. Those people who are older that I've interacted with that word causes deep pain. And though I grew up in hip hop culture where that road was thrown around very easily as I start to really learn what that word was. And then I started to see people outside of our race. The African American race start to use that word. It did start to bother me. Now, the reason I've had that shirt, that's their problem though. If that's their problem, a white people problem though. I mean, I got a me problem. I, I feel like black people being able to use the word and white people wanted to use. The word are two different issues. That's just white people wanting to do whatever they wanna do like they have since Columbus linked over here. I disagree with you. One hundred percent. Okay. I disagree with you. And if someone was to call me the f. word as a gay man, it would upset me. And so when I also here straight people say that calling each other, that as something that they think is fun or using gay as derogatory term. That's me and my culture making it seem as if this was acceptable behavior, you teach people how to treat you. That is one thing we do to me true. And so when I see white Americans who use that word nonchalantly, who are not using the malicious way, and that's also we can't pick and choose when like this person can use it, and then this person we wanna get upset. I. I think we can this parts of white privilege that I can never use this parts of white culture that I can't use Jewish culture item. You're going to you're going to privilege versus a word. I don't think that using a derogatory term gives us privilege and I'll get back to that topic privilege, but I think I use it, but that's the same thing you're saying that gave you some privilege and I don't think that I think that you're free to use anything you want to use, but you also should understand that there's repercussions and there's people that were still sodas hurt. Now, the reason I wore that shirt then 'cause I've had this year for a very long time was because I was vintage vintage then then to tiny that that event was the premiere of unsolved win to into pock. And I thought that it was very clear with an all African American audience, which that was what was in attendance, almost nine percent African American and also with the fact that these two artists were sort of the catalyst in a sense of making. That word popular in in making it part of pop culture. It was us by biggie was used by the Hobo camp. It was used by death. Row is used by two pock. And so I thought what better way to express the rain hands berry August will send at Susan, Lori parks is used by playwrights on Broadway. I'm not saying it's not. I'm not saying it's not, but I'm also saying, see what you're trying to do is you're trying to take away the fact of how I feel. I know you feel healing for that. And the reason I wore that shirt is to say, I actually don't believe or subscribing this shirt, and so I am neither this north that. So please understand that as we're going through this event, don't think that as you greet me that those are procreate degreed me and I will be very clear and you know this, there are certain settings, especially in where's fully African American will we feel very comfortable each other, and someone will walk up to you and say, what's up my n word? I'll say it people and I don't like that greeting. For me. Okay. I prefer some then I wouldn't greet you with that. And so that shirt was clearly getting them know my feelings on that, but somehow because we're looking for, we're looking for somehow respectability pot, politics, looking for all of this. That somehow doesn't become just my statement of saying, this is who I am and what I'm comfortable with. It wasn't that I brought shirts for everyone else to wear. I wore the shirt for myself and just said, this is why. Okay. I'm frankly fine. What people who don't wanna use that word. I'm perfectly fine with. Why do you have issue with me wearing the shirt? I had an issue with you wearing the shirt because it was on a red carpet. It was in Getty images. It got online and that then ab- scribes of you sending a message out that you don't like the word and I get that that was personally. Yeah, just for you. Yeah. But also just know that when it when it becomes impact as as a public figure you wearing that shirt means that that's what you. Ascribed to, and that's how people will take a maga- hat. Yeah, we know that for him, that means make America. Great. Again, I love Trump and obviously he would probably wanna prostate is that to other people k you wearing that shirt to me and other people, we took it as this is your opinion. And you also, you know, wish that us other black folks, what stop using that word? Yeah, and not just for you, you want us to stop using it in general, but I love that word. Yeah, I found the word beautiful. I find it powerful. I read it in playwrights who have won Pulitzers who have one, MC, Arthur genius grants who have won Oscars. I use it in my home, but you would you have felt okay at President? Barack Obama would have said that during a speech, he did you speak. Speech, welcome the word nigga. Show me the receipt head. It's in his book. So me the receipts, it's in my book as well, just because I've written the world is not something that I'm using to greet or to define someone else. So if you didn't have a problem with that word where he's you've heard Barack Obama, say they, it's it's in his book and he said, I don't have a problem with people calling me those words. All right. 'cause now you're now again, let me call up Barack Obama right now. Let me get John fabric Morocco. I will verify that we'll get back to you, but I do not think the Barack Obama who's written that book multiple times written at word multiple times in his book. And when the south side of Chicago has a problem with by people using that word, a Muslims little, we're not galling, you know, other politicians that word, but you like to pick and choose. That's all. I don't. I don't use it. You know, I love the wording but also empowered by wants you to use it all the time because someone yourself conscious, you know that is not right you somewhere in your subconscious. You don't use every word all the time, but you use it as a greeting. So why don't you greet everyone the same? So I greet everyone the same, hey, friends, how you doing? I never sat greeting. How are you using it? Use it when we were talking additive verb. What? What are you talking about? Alabama on the podcast, the other day saying that black people love him, and I was like, listening, I met a black person. I love him. Okay. So instead of using his formal name, you're using it as a noun to describe this person. Yeah, he's wild. See now you also adding a lot of definitions of this where so many definitions just like there are many definitions, you know, it's like that Bernie MAC sketch where he said that bitch can mean a bunch of different things. I think what the beauty or might have been fucked. It might have been Monique. You said bit either way. I will tell you this though, and what I do appreciate about you is who you are, your confidence and your ability to be yourself authentically. And I respect that one hundred percent. I would never ever judge you as a black man for being who you are and living your truth. And I think that's the clear lesson of this is that especially in communities of colors or communities where people feel marginalized that somehow we feel like we have to be on the same page and it's okay if we're not. It's okay if I have my viewpoint is okay if you have your viewpoint because at the end the day, when I walk in this world, I feel attacked you feel tacked, and we are still finding the same battles and have the day, no matter what you actually referred to me as we're by fighting that battle. I'm still have your back in your mind, and I think that's key. I agree. And that's all I'm saying about that. We'll thank you my neither for coming on. Long with, you know. Is it time? No. By the way you talking about all these, you got a lot of white people on your phone right there. Who is that? It's the cost of dynasty just saying, Diane, Carol hurt line of this. Caviar is burnt, burnt burnt. I love that champagne was obviously frozen bottle at some point. We're back, keep it. We're here at our segment the episode as usual, keep it say you never asked what my favorite segment is. You just assume my favorite segment is keeping well what's your favorite segment? This we? Okay, that's it's all right. You are right. What is your? Keep it minus Patti, get ready to different Facebook comments. I always see still have for years. One is by straight people come into on gay people's Facebook walls when they make a gay Facebook satis they say, wait, you're gay. Okay. I already know. You interpret half the fuck and things I say is just gain noise. So you're stupid joke. Like, I didn't know you were never brought it up before is dumb. And by the way it is all over the place, every gay person on Facebook on Instagram gets comments from people being like, wait, I didn't know your and that was like, that's like their big funny, isn't it? Johnny. Carson joke, yes, sarcasm. Oh, yeah, and it's just that's it's not funny. Yes, get over it. Yes, don't comment on it. My other thing is when gay people who shall we say, let's say they don't know who this is. The name that came to mind Tanatshai is they then comment a revoke my gay card. Here's the thing, gay people. That is a joke from gonna guess season one of will and grace. You need to update that reference. Okay. Number one to you are not read because you don't know something about pop culture. You're pretending to be self deprecating. But what it really is, you're saying, I don't know that frivolous information that other gay people seem to care about. I'm above the fray and it's not cool. Stop, congratulating yourself and pretending it's a joke. I need to hear it's an old joke. Sean Hayes is very talented though. Okay, town kill Louis, thrown the first brick stone wall. So in the first gay card at stone, Keira. What is your keep it Mike heap. It is to the people who decided that they would build a replica of the Titanic it with almost the same number of people and then sale it down the same route the Titanic tough. And really I think that's normal. Why? Why? Why? Why? Just why I don't understand. I don't understand. Why would you do this? It's not funny frankly. It feels super kind of fucking rude to many people who died on the Tanic why you have to do the same number of people the same route. I mean, I don't know. I guess you could just call it the Titanic. If in even that doesn't seem necessary. I just don't understand why I don't understand what what the point of this is what anyone is going to get out of this, why anyone would want to do this? How we're gonna end this great. It made it to the place. Unlike those hundreds of other. People who died. Sponsored by Ryan Murphy. Like a season of story. People are like enamored of the glamour of Titanic, which is very strange, but he wasn't glamorous. They were down in the underbelly rounding like it also just like really exemplifies like class issues. It just is. It's just weird. It's just super fucking weird, Jack, and rose bids. Right. And who is going on this? And also if something happens to your ship. What if you die of the second Titanic. Okay, that how dumb to you. Honestly, all the clues were there. Did point out that they have the correct number of votes in, oh, my God. People like, right, fuck you, guys. We've got enough boats. Are everyone this time because you all would have lived if only like it's it's so weird. It's so I don't know what there is to gain from this. It's. My eyes are shooting eighty directions on fire from the store. What Gatorade out is book again, performing that crime. Another thing and this is stupid, but like the Titanic. Now they've made ships bigger than the Titanic. So you're not even like getting on anything. It's not like, oh, we're getting on like a really big, fancy cruise ship like they've, they've outdone it and they've made ones that I want. It's off even half the size of Jeff Bezos yacht. Hey, by the way, do you know what also exists museums? Can we just turn it into one of those. There is a Titanic exhibit. Remers got to touch the wall of ice. Fuck it was cold that cleans shitty. That seems that seems horrific drew loaded in that water just watched star Tadic just watch release it at the every fucking year, right? Unless Kathy Bates is on this boat in period garb you've got on that. Watch the movie. Also. I'm pretty sure you do not get your insurance money if you die on the. I would not pay that out. I went into. People like that might be the whitest nonsense. Got it. 'cause you know everyone else's like, are these. Really do. They have hats that much. Juno delivered burgers be drowns by the way white people than wild this week. Anyway, my keep it this is this is like young and the restless. I can't retarded to the soap opera saga of Gavin Newsom, Donald Trump, junior happening, Kimberly, Gulf oil still. This heifer two men who loves slick palm aid in greenfield, Indiana at a rally said, I've known the president for fifteen years and his son. Well, I know him a little better. Oh, oh, gross. Oh, I do not need to hear about Don juniors day stops. Also. This woman does not need to talk like a dynasty carrot also if he's still married, why is she campaign rallies? Yeah. What does she bring doing campaign rallies forcing through yet. I find this whole thing. Disgust. Like you really have lost the conservative moral high ground that they pretend that they're on when we're just cavorting around with your new one man. Well, the ink isn't even trying to foist yet. Why? Why? Why are you talking about his deck at around? I also listen, I, I recently filled out my ballot in California, and I did vote for Gavin Newsom. So it's just a message to you buddy because I think you're probably gonna win. Can you be a little better than this once you're governor please? Because I don't like this. I don't like any of this happening. I don't like being reminded that you thought this woman was a suitable partner for you. I don't like being rhyme reminded that this was almost the first lady of California. I don't like it. So please now be a little better so we can forget that you're at all related to these people cheated on her. So. So. It was the one that cheated with his best friend's wife. His campaign manager's wife. Frankly, it just mentioned not be in charge. Not much not much no more men. Literally anything. Voted for him so so. On bud better be better than they're not hard to be better than these people. It's not hard to not the girl standing up at the rally making gross ass, like Donald Trump, junior references, I know him a little better. That's Betty boop glance like made him. Money made him. Him and his giant belt buckles. Yeah, see him in like it's polo tucked in the belt buckle the jacket that stupid. Even those guys are doing God. Queer is change things. He is so dumb. He looks like Ed grimly. Anyway, I call him a living high five left hanging just like put it there and then like the other person's like away from. We could make fun of Donald Trump junior all day, but we won't. I gotta say to, I don't gun to my head if you put a picture of the two of the other one, Eric, not sure that I could get it right, right characters, but no, right now they both like that could be in Glengarry Glen Ross in the background. I don't know, but I also don't care anyway. That's our show. We'll see you next week. Well, Lewis at, I will see you next week. It's trail care. Won't be here. I won't be here for two weeks guys. I'm sorry. They're both looking at me like I strangled their puppies, heart-shaped tears streaming on my face. She's wanting to make TV. I'm going to make hell vision. I'm gonna go do that. Which is a Toronto industry by the way? Yes. I'm gonna be in Toronto, so I will not be at a record, but I will be back because God knows they need me. We come back Louis might not even be here. No, it's going to be like Jack's or somebody just I can't wait till that did find out. I'll see you all in.

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Episode 13 - David Weissman, former die-hard Trump supporter turned Democrat

Clusterf*cked

28:59 min | 5 months ago

Episode 13 - David Weissman, former die-hard Trump supporter turned Democrat

"This is cluster fucked. Here's your host Roger King. Welcome to another brand new episode of cluster. Fuck I am Roger King? We sometimes release episodes out of order But he just want you to know. This is our first corona virus episode. Normally I'm an actual recording studio the fine folks at DB audio dot ca but like most everyone else on the planet. I'm at home in so doing this. Episode from home and hoping the technology cooperates But the show must go on A couple of key themes try to drum home on this podcast is the need to be. Civil is at all possible with those who we disagree with politically and of course the need for us. Democrats US LIBERALS TO TRY and persuade people or at least talk to people who don't already agree with us. My guest today is a nice intersection of all of that. I've been wanting to do this for a while. Either talked to a trump supporter or at least someone who was a trump supporter and might have changed his or her mind. David wiseman definitely fits the bill. He not only supported Donald Trump but was one of those social media activists who dedicated a good deal of his time to promoting trump and bashing democrats. He was a key member of the mega army. Make America great again He built up a large following on twitter. Over a hundred thousand people. Follow David but one day a chance. Twitter encounter with well-known comedian. Sarah Silverman started him on the path to rethinking his political views and his support for trump. He now regrets his vote for trump. And he's very publicly become a full-fledged Democrat working hard to defeat trump this November. David Wiseman thank you for joining me. On cluster fuck. Thank you for having me on. So let's talk about your pastor second there you you've described yourself. I've I've seen in other interviews other places as a former troll. So let's start there. Can you take us through how you came to the point where you were being that Guy Online? Now that troll on social media how you came to support trump Out of that will come about. Well cannot Getting involved in politics Started watching conservative media because I was always a conservative growing up and online outline. Then a Lotta conservative media that you'll see the ruling humanizes like Democrats Liberals politicians people in blaming and lane a very good job of it of words like fear mongering Newly acceptable the one thing that Democrats ca rights away taking free speech laying all these kind of fear that turns people angry. Take your gear. And so I'm guessing angry. Watch miss here. They want to speak out in started. Taxable that you at you going to do that. So that's the troll Armenian start attacking people that have different values Because we're starting seen by your family and your household billing unite really use some really being by worse over different backgrounds and raised Williams in all that stuff. So based on double. We're you know like the conservative media. Obviously we think when you say that I think people would think of Fox News was were what were some of the other. Media or plow hunting. Her Ain't good at his message across on. There's lot warning people realize that. Seventy pox home. Mcclain's Different segments on iheartradio. Just there's alive Conserve outlets those are the top ones immoral on Breitbart news right Barium and some. There's a lot and I'm thinking about it. Yeah there's different levels. Call Republicans a Democratic Party. Any team party. You're more moderate. Republicans but the core values of what implements basically the same and. I mentioned before on twitter plan. I'll Maga- has different factions in. The one difference launches within within mega crap. Well let's so you are a conservative but Did you warm to trump right away when he first announced his candidacy all that were you on from the beginning and gaining. I was seeing of Chris Warner Nets than in the state. And that's all I tell people how conservative I was. Very very right wing so Manson born occurrence. Originally in Senate. Ho Sherry was Ted Cruz right. Yeah Okay Yeah. And so in two thousand sixteen Kim on me know still kind of a non contest trump and hillary so easy no brainer at the time the winner Republican majority Republicans United Republicans have been saying good majority of Saw Him as candidate Hillary Clinton and oftentimes when you once you sign on Mega Swimming Willing Consumers Union having heard the expression called Redfield red pill. Yeah so winning. Winning all in when trump Go on you know really. Yes I've been thinking about is I didn't know much about him in. Add ons cranes against your fun. Yeah of New York when I move in four of my high school years lying in it. I didn't really know who trump was and part of the problem. I think trust in like Hannity and I entrust in a lot of the consortium pundits that I listened to for many many years and I'm thinking about you know May when the leanness wrong. You know this this this about Hillary Clinton Democrats about Obama while in the alliance about trump. So I didn't really in hall and funny up and embedded in Cranston. Had you ever seen Had you ever seen His reality Tv show at all. I seen him in movies Disappeared closely here like when he wasn't home alone. Cnn and so. I laughed volume as I miss. Really call nine one. One Country had any had a brand ready had an you know you obviously knew the trump hotels and all that sort of thing so it was not hard to believe he was a successful businessman. And and then green medics charge marlon all spanning saying Oh wow triton successful business now you but you went from that like you just you know as you say. Republicans supporting trump. Whatever Hillary Clinton the Democrats are the enemy? That sort of thing you really as I said off the top you got active on the social media and a bit of like being a as you say a troll you were on their You know not just hey. I support him. Whatever you were pushing back and picking fights and all that sort of thing on social media again like I said I came with a lineup. Scaremongering listening propaganda for many years thinking. That Democrats weren't taking right. So yeah so yeah so you know you you feel like your own inner fighting for your rights. You know. Don't realize you don't really have some terrifying crime so whether people some ads the whole disconnect from reality to what you were told what was going on and I was going to say you and bet you built as I said at the top you built up quite a following right like I I know. Now you have over one hundred thousand twitter followers. I imagine we'll get to this and the second one you you know Saw The light of day as as it were but did you have a good number as well when you were in the trump mega army Yeah it wasn't as high incidence now While announcing ten thousand twenty thousand groom who I got really involved in different trump Support groups conservative groups So they know me enemy Charles Lang. Oh you wants to support her. And then what what you do this thing again. Take actual count any single Van Star and ending sought Nelson like. Hey and then complimentary. When I supported trump red. They like US man was. Was there almost a family aspect to this? Like being trump supporter. Of course you know we have Republicans Democrats tribes and you know all that sort of thing but it was a little deeper with the mega crowd like euro part of a family. We're all in this together. There in seven camaraderie that plane family. I mean you felt like you weren't in together in I think that's one of the surprising things One and went through the beginning as journey when I started asking questions starting on learning new information that the reactions any news carly whoa in is sort of like Emily China listening mentality but you made friends with fellow trump supporters. Yeah and well. Let's let's get to that so I WanNa get to the part where you you interact with a comedian Sarah Silverman and you begin to change. So can you just take us back what what happened there? Exactly give us a recap on the original interaction with her. Like how did you come to have dialogue with Sarah Silverman? And we're went from there. Well this Australian time weren't consignment is for saying their band. Being shot up man On twitter and swine. I got about her skit with us. Enact the outfit with Stephen Colbert say hey get on track. You know twitter hundred and some half run on this kind of outrage in here silencing conservatives. Oh so so. This was the The rumor that some conservatives were getting kicked off twitter and that sort of thing you mean got it and then and Sarah's had a sketch up and you were like hey this this but we're getting silenced. Agnes Brian either thinking conservatives are finding that can fight and She actually responded by 'cause only into liberty and got blocked or any concern Every war they don't badge. Thing actually responded. Yeah yes respondent explained to me on gallows humor was in house not necessarily offensive. 'cause relaxing have people talking in okay. That was kind of surprised that I thought no Jewish like I am wind moments not Washington's a link trump all pro Israel hunters people from action. Told me the reasons why I WANNA reasons why and I was like coal. We're not arguing hiding. We're talking and then nine kind of war and smell. I always wanted to know why liberals wanted one in a swirling. Aliens were a military some home point that they support illegal aliens over the military cramped. Gotcha okay so you asked her this and she's nine eighteen and buy along on winter like go to article and I haven't liked winter page Issues that we talked actually highlighted went on national responded Link fashionable in can care about military any about Immigrants In country of immigrants and learn you know. Turner traveling people that her powers despondent How one of the problems company important industry not necessarily meaning o'cl a sinking asylum. A lot of I think that that you know On conservative media wing ascendancy menial about invasion Harem heads all that angst rape and Ms Thirteen. I've started out in America Mexico ANY IN GI bill. Winning the best Get into military democrat. He knows a lot. Different fags Nolan's Me Off Guard in the sense that was expected the most learned from her that you know progress. She's wearing very very progressed and Knowing inking tons of kind of like WHOA WAIT. A minute feels very appropriate association. That's what I'm thinking guns. That's Lillard hogging point than island. That was not accurate so more more finding out there things in when she started talking. Nice Herzog with other people know bubba Hillary and Burma Album learnable L. Wing skiing now. I learned so much that changed my whole world yet because she was she took a different tack than you were used to on social media instead of the fighting with you or being provocative in some way or calling you an idiot or whatever. She took the time to explain her point of view respectfully and treated you as an equal the cycling chance up until I was trenching away was More is warranted. I bet she impatient Cheang Berendsen dialogue. Like Hey I think her own game prince from I know Lena Horne interns and shown nationally. Want the same things. Just there for ways you know and Owen Shannon Bet encourages we warns learn and that really Pains Quantum but you. I read something that you wrote You said that you know Sarah. Silverman did not get me to stop supporting trumper. Become a Democrat What she did was inspired me to talk to other people who had different views to mine. So yeah and of course. That's what I preach on. This podcast is that we don't just preach to the converted. We try to have a dialogue with maybe people who don't agree But you know it. It strikes me that despite all this trolling you're doing at the time. There was clearly a part of you. That was still open to another point of view to either. You know learning or even being shown where you might be wrong or off tracker however one describe it did you. Is that accurate that you had that little part of you completely accurate? When I was encouraged that incident worn. That's when I I often say this I track my own wall. And then that's why I wanted to learn more you know Ayler Mouthpiece were Halley on a bike and I believe it I mean. I was shocked that I mean in two thousand eighteen in importing beaten down there. And it's crazy. I mean why is happening in a stand age and seeing that across Fox's consignment of outlets any support the support them face the military. You're not allowed to protest flag. That's an as Chrysler wondering so when I mean we'll get an an important one trying to say lately. It's one that I learned in my In my religious less than thinking but anti-nazi right weren't screaming. I mean is really like alternate reality. For what what lodge in the real world conservative media yet presents an alternative reality and now the dialogue with the Sarah. I guess lasted over a period of days. Like were you guys going back and forth Over a certain period of time as she was kind of explaining news some of these viewpoints. Yes back and foreign the asking. Her questions mentioned that moment. Where recognize towel? We had open dialogue. And then let's Winston encouraged overnight and then I started asking more questions I'm a an added. Decided giving them trump yet But as I was feilong starting a Lotta backlashes As I started we'll see how Clinton Chelsea Clinton were and Started say Halo there bashing bug stop. Were cut eventually where When she missile senator of New York earned No Nine Eleven. And you know giggle some of this stuff on your own or or. I started on ranch away. Sorta running war and then on a Warner's seen instant than like an starting hitting all now friends. Alley's joining them's this. Not any other thing on your when his one from Republican Soon. Independence performing World News Changing. And then I guess Vang Kinda left that I felt like I was on my own and learning more trump. Earning more net you know. Hey here's soccer. Princeton concern me as as that Heen Dodge. Traffic Lights concerns that he than a lot of back in front. Neal's He went bankrupt. Blowing up personally. Bonding was on. The enemy wasn't a perfect guy You know and I ain't an you know what I was one of Warner's realize how bad it once and I am not for. Well actually I was GONNA actually ask because you know I. I've interacted with a lot of trump supporters over the last few years. And you know I I am. A lot of them are not under any illusions. You know to who he is or what. His character is You Know I. I've heard a number of them say I don't really care. You know how he does it or you know what he does as long as you know he gets results. That's the care about in their usually speaking economically For the most part. But I'm curious you know knowing many of these trump supporters. The way you do. Do you have any sense you know? What percentage of them could be reachable in terms of changing their minds I'll ask you that first but I WANNA getting at. Is We all know that you know it's sort of like this cult you know he's got a hold on them doesn't seem to matter what he does or says But you know I think as I said a lot of the merges look. I'm looking at the results and now here. We have a pandemic and a recession and so then they can't even point to the economy anymore I'm just wondering if there's something you think He could do. That would actually make him lose a significant amount of support this point that I mean I hate peaceful More former supporters are supporters continent has me to facebook group. For former trump supporters cramp created cranked in learning. There are sports out there but As far as now and they're still with him out of the nurse. Anything that Night he would do that. I mean there are no wrong and shame. Yeah I mean I. It's I mean they're pretty locked in. It would seem certainly around forty percent forty you know somewhere in that forty forty. Four percent range You know it seems like there's maybe while ten percent or so who kinda waiver depending on what he does this month whether they're hanging there. I mean I in a previous episode of this podcast. I interviewed them. D- Political Director of a super PAC called American bridge and they're doing a campaign to find a former trump supporters like yourself who regret their vote and they're featuring them in in various ads that are running in some of the swing states like Florida where you are Pennsylvania Michigan Wisconsin and their research. Shows that there's some you know some softening some of trump's base You know and You know obviously I think there are voters out there who regret their choice We don't hear from them as much as we do from the people who are still locked in with him But I just wondered if if you feel like Some of these people you once called you know friends or are reachable to some degree from other people. Not For me I'm seen as a trainer. Your find them. So that's what I was. GonNa ask you what happened. Did they just shun you? Once you announced yeah I Kim Campbell that I intend sort of human centric but no longer. I'm really talking about politics. But yet most of them have funding on my sleep. I mean it's possible. They can we make this point not by me Up enough to me right. Yeah and did did a lot of them like they cut you off probably or did you do reverse trolling. I again told me constantly You know a lot of trying to discredit my story or bring personal as button. Elaine Crystal enjoying and funding. I mean that's it is cold in essence by thin from a call nillion colts. Have you had threats or anything like that or family fanmail? Yeah well I mean it it. You know trump has been compared to a Mafia boss before. So it's like it's almost like you you were disloyal to the family so thankfully that's a great way to put it. Yeah it's it's very tribal and even more so I think than than your normal Republican versus Democrats. Trump is a cult of personality. And I wonder You know I'm fairly optimistic. That Biden will win in November Certainly looking pretty good in the polls now but Let's say that happens in. Trump is defeated How do you think they're gonNA react? I mean I've had other Republicans on the show and we've talked about. Where does the Republican Party go after trump and I think a good percentage of these people and you tell me if I'm wrong are Not Likely to be go back and be excited about your typical establishment. Republicans trump represents something different and. I think they're all in on that. I I feel like the party will be in trouble. GOING FORWARD. You trump loses of recapturing. Some of these people. Do you think they're just going to go back to being you know? Falling in line. Republicans Anger perfectly And that's how trump I think both has following. It has a Lotta people weren't getting upset at a stylish -ment Republicans and the four thousand sixteen election primaries. Something they weren't getting upset about So I think they'll probably get more people in that Intel any anti Yeah they'll go back to hating both parties And you of course. Now you're you're fully committed to The Democrats and working towards helping elect Biden crack. And now as I said off the top. You you've got a following of well over one hundred thousand people on twitter. I think now so obviously your story has gotten out there. And you've been embraced by liberals would you say moderates progresses you'll never trump republicans whole mixture of people Well and that's kind of the lesson in the In your conversation with Sarah Silverman was That hey we can really find some common ground here and maybe we do have more in common than people might think agreed again. Some plants warning find common ground damning opponents list. Yeah exactly well listen. Welcome to the democratic side and I do appreciate you taking the time to Talk to me on the PODCAST. I know this isn't the best tech setup in the world but we're at the show must go on. So I do thank you David. For joining me on cluster. Fuck appreciate your time. You got it go biden and there's David Wiseman again I realize at times. The connection quality was not up to our usual cluster. Fuck standards but hopefully you could hear David enough to get the gist of what he was saying. A really interesting story being part of the trump cult as he called it and really going through kind of a deep programming courtesy of Sarah Silverman and others and eventually finding his way to thinking differently about politics and about issues David Weisman He's on twitter at David. M Weissman W. E. S. M. A. N. at David and Weisman. If you want to follow him as I mentioned he's got I think one hundred and thirty thousand followers or something so a lot of people are really interested in his Message is political message of civility and breaking away from trump nation I'm the civil liberals speaking of civility. That's my handle on twitter. The civil liberal but the handle is at cf the podcast and of course if you want to listen to other episodes of this fine podcast visit us at Cf. The podcast dot com all the episodes are there plus other information about the program and there's a mailing list if you'd like to join it's free of charge takes about thirty seconds to fill out the form of the bottom of the page. It's the best way for us to keep in touch with you with updates on when we released new episodes and anything else going on in the cf community or CF headquarters. Of course the podcast is also available on itunes. Spotify stitcher basically any platforms. Where you're like to get your podcasts. The important thing is you listen. So if you want to subscribe at any of those platforms that's great Or else visit US AT CF. The PODCAST DOT COM. And you can look for us on facebook as well just search for. Cf The podcast. Like the page. We post articles and other things related to the themes. We like to cover on this. Very fine podcast. So that wraps up another episode. Thank you for indulging me and listening. Cluster podcast a Liberal House with Red State Guests Roger.

trump Democrats twitter Donald Trump Sarah Silverman US David David Wiseman America Hillary Clinton facebook Kim Campbell Biden Roger King Fox News Democratic Party Warner Cranston Cnn
Brendan Scannell

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

2:00:28 hr | 8 months ago

Brendan Scannell

"You Walk You made it weird with what's happening Weirdos. This is the incredible Brendan Skin Al.. He's just one one of the most talented and Hilarious comedians. I've come across lately and a wonderful He's an actor and writer as well. He's on the show. Heather's he's going to be in the upcoming show bonding a net flex definitely check them out online. We talk a lot about his sketch. Work as well with my friend. Sam Fischel so give that a youtube. If if you're curious to those to those to those of you who have been coming out to the dates the tour dates thank you for coming out and brea. It was awesome. I am on the road. Currently the with Lara Bites. It's a double headliner show. She is incredible. The whole show is awesome. But it's me doing new hour of stand up as well and we are going to be in oxnard snored Nashville Saint. Louis Cleveland San Jose Houston and Phoenix. Those are all confirmed. Tickets are at Pete. Holmes DOT COM. Hope to you see you out on the road. It's great to get a chance to see Weirdos live so please come out and support if if you nasty I also want to plug. What do I want want to plug my largo show? February seventh is my next Largo. But that's every month always highlight of my month. Doing stand up with special guests like jet appetizer. Silverman tag elephant ACAS. These are some of the people that have been popping by lately. Go to Largo Dash. La Dot Com. Always Nice to see you guys at that About comedy sex. God is available now. I don't have much to plug we can do. The Pete's picks Pete's picks as you know I got him right here on my desk. The original Pete's pick doc. I have a special promo. This is not the Usual Promo for Charlotte's Web. I have a forty percent off Promo holy cow for Charlotte's Web. If you guys have been waiting to try the hemp oil that I swear by you guys know. I don't do ads for things. That are just random. I do ads for things that I actually love and Charlotte's web hemp oil. He's absolutely absolutely a secret weapon. A plant ally in my arsenal for me. CBD Oil has been a wonderful anxiety reducer and a mood. Elevator helps me relax. It helps me. Work and focus helps me ease and flow into whatever it is. I'm doing it also just really takes the edge off not in an in an intoxicant way doesn't get you high. It just sort of helps you. Soften the The tension that you might be experiencing and this is just me speaking anecdotally really. That is the feeling I get. I used to call my happy juice. When I was onset at crashing I would say please give me my happy that my cbd it was just something that would help me ease and flow and say yes to what it was that I was doing while keeping me in the game you hear him? You think cannabis. It's not the same as canvas there's no thc there's very very very very very low amount because they use science to push for the CD. CD is what you're getting. Everybody knows it's a hot product now but The Stanley brothers are the only company that I've found that grow their CD in Denver in Colorado for human consumption for medicinal purposes. So it is a wonderful wonderful thing to take instead of pharmaceutical and that is why I swear by it. Guess what forty percent off their bestselling seventeen milligram oil in any flavor. You can get mint chocolate chocolate. which is what I like them? Twist Orange Blossom or original olive oil and for up until February. Fourteen twenty twenty. You can get forty forty percent off. CW HEMP DOT COM. Keep it crispy. Seventeen one word is the Promo Code and you can try this wonderful product product that I've sworn by for so many years the other that you also now is could Shaba Kochav. I had it for breakfast. Morning is a plant based superfood drink. Drink mix made with the most exotic nutrient rich superfoods ever revered by tribal cultures for centuries one hundred percent plant based so got Omega threes from Chia and flax seeds. It's got eight super fruits seventeen Greens and veggies. That's why I travel that it very hard to get a fresh Greens and veggies in you when you're traveling leveling boom. It's in the bag gluten. Free Soy free. No artificial sweeteners no preservatives digestive support Bilton adapted. Jin's built right in twenty. Four grams is a plant based protein nine grams of fiber and it actually tastes great and it actually keeps you full. It's as close as I've come to a meal in a pill I've seen a lot tweets lately at me. People saying I can't believe it. I've never tried something like this and it actually keeps you full for hours so not only. Is it fast delicious and easy but people lease it for weight management. I use it because it makes me high. There's so much nutrition in it. It makes me feel amazing. Got Macaroni for energy. Vitality Taliban got Cacao which again has wonderful mood elevating qualities to rock a cow. This isn't just like Hershey bar chocolate. This is the real nut it's a nut. Kukui nut Get that in you and I can make it with one hand. I'm holding baby Lee. I put a scoop and a bottle shake it up with water powdered coconut milk and just enough coconut nectar which is a low glycemic sweetener to make chocolate and smooth and delicious just in water or make it with almond milk and frozen strawberries makes it tastes like frozen delicious chocolate strawberry ice cream. It is unbelievable. It fills you up. It makes you feel good if you've been curious about how to eat more more plant-based but don't know where to start. I always tell people to start with Khashaba and keep better. I've been using it for years. Now twenty percents off. Go to Catava K.. A C. H. A. dot com slash. Weird and you'll get twenty percent off all right guys if you get one of those not only. Will you be trying to do that. I love your show your support of this always always free podcast in the meantime. Hope to see you out on the road always doing again oxnard Nashville. Saint Louis Cleveland San Jose Houston and Phoenix. Six hope to see you out doing stand up. In the meantime enjoy my chat with Brennan. He's so funny. Please check them out and get into it. Do you want. There's a blanket behind you and there's this blanket. I mean I'm freezing freezing. I'm dying dying. I'll use this one. I just amazing codes. I just got this amazing coat from this company called. I just saved the duck and it's like goat. It is like a Vegan Co is it. Yeah it's well it's not made with real duck further but it's it it feels like a candidate goose and I got I went to Chicago for Thanksgiving and it was so freaking cold and so I just like went into a Nordstrom was like this. This is what I'm buying but they're cool. They're it's like it. Feels like it's made of goose but nobody's GonNa throw blood on you. Do People get upset about the goose. I think they do. I mean I think the candidate goose store in New York like people notoriously just get blood thrown on them. No I think so. I don't know if I make spreading a rumor but like I'm GonNa Bleed. I'm right now. I always thought that like we're like sheep and you can cheer them. I JUST WANNA give. I don't know well then. They're probably like stuff. What's it called when they can't do that trying to blend fly black? Have you ever had Gua. I have yeah when I was a mediator. Oh and I remember. I don't need it anymore. Got It but I I would buy a goose down jacket. I'm I'm just now realizing that. That's like a blind spot like I've never like I don't know I just never considered it. Well they are I. I think like the warmest but you should get with a recommended for this. You're going to be doing a lot of podcasts back here. I mean the upside. They are the warmest year from Indiana. And I'm from North West Indiana like an hour from Chicago. It's like the one little corner of Indiana Indiana. That's on central time. Oh the rest of it is considered a Chicago suburb. Very much from Indiana. What is it called dog? We used to drive down to the Indiana Dunes when yeah I'm from Valparaiso Valparaiso. Yeah I've also seen a play called Valparaiso. Really there's there's a play called Valparaiso Valparaiso Indiana. No it's not involve a very. It's one of the few times I've gone. This is my first wife when we lived in Chicago So we went and saw a play called Valparaiso and it was like a fever dream. It was one of those like modern art. Like you always see in TV. They go take talk tint talk. Text where is that in Valparaiso play Valparaiso. That's so fun. I wonder if Valparaiso's even aware of that the people now know that the geese are being slaughtered for the jackets which I'm disturbed by and then also Valparaiso is is hot living in the long history of like cities in in America. That's named after like a larger global city. You Know Valparaiso she lay. Hey and so. It's like Rome Texas and stuff like that and they didn't even say new. No New York is a part of England. I mean I think I've done this before but like calling. Plays New England is like right away. You're like New Mexico when you're crisper Mexico. Spur York was either call things new or like name things after the one guy who founded a town a a lot of that news news and Berg like human news found. Like I'm the first white person here and I'm just going to call it mine. Oh my God uh we were just talking about like how how cowboys and Indians. Because I'm sure it was not to generalize Indiana but like that's a pretty classic place and we were all all sold cowboys and Indians. We're a little to both of us are a little too. Yeah but how has that story. I'm including myself to Yar Greybeard. Here's no that one Older than I'm twenty nine twenty nine. We've covered this We've talked about that but I I now look now look twenty six but there was a certain loans really young people. Tell me twenty six. Yeah you could definitely be twenty. I played high school this year in a show so all I would argue if I was if I was you I get so jealous of the people that can play. Well maybe not jealous. But I think it's cool that you could be in a high school thing. I thought I was done like I did. It was done and I thought it was done. I did a high school thing a couple years ago and was like really like pull your like pulling your skin back when you're next actual highschoolers you're like Zoya and then I did it again this year for just one episode of this thing but I played I played. I was with Lucas hedges. Then I played somebody namedrop. But he's twenty two and I'm twenty nine and I played younger than him. So that Hollywood I like. He was like an older person. That was then you talk to him. And I'm like you're twenty two Jesus leary's but what I was getting at. Not It's important was cowboys and Indians that is just like the most classic Henson town story I was like how did kids get into that. I think they we're just told that Indians were bad guys. Yeah nobody had like a Tanto. Yeah played recently by you know. What's Johnny Johnny Johnny? Depp Played Tondo. That was the canary in the coalmine if his career because we all saw that coming up as well he just started playing a lot of Kooky people. Well I remember I feel bad even saying Tanto it means stupid. No it doesn't isn't Spanish mean stupid. I didn't know that unless it's a feminine Ta German in High School. And if you idiot when you have Tanta Tundra Okay Tantrum Tantrum all night. The sketches act is not bad it cuts to you and me the writers going. Oh No diskettes custody. Two million dollars. That's how much blow have. We died. They should have never given us that Grad back. We can talk buffalo all night like that's the best line. Not even the crew left Do you ever seen this Sh- Sasha Baron Cohen movie that came out recently but I. I don't think anyone really saw it but it was the brothers Grimsby Grimsby it was kind of I think the studio buried it or whatever but He and mark strong at one point. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen. Climb into the Vagina of an elephant to hide from spies or something like that. I know that is it. THEY CLIMB INTO A and they've set it up in the beginning of the movie. They're like well. You know elephants Vaginas so big and then you're like you don't think about it and then flash forward forty five minutes later and they are hiding vagina. Ed then gets run train on by like a bunch of Mrs until this wild wild west like just poked in the face by like prosthetic attic vaginas and Dick's addicts. Yeah Yeah Sorry Elephant. Dick's yeah and it's it's it's the most shocking thing I've ever seen in my life but a really good laugh. You could just watch that clip. Nothing nothing ages. Well movies are just like dream but they became real vaguely. Remember that tree in junior high. And now we're like. Oh aw dream. That's terrifying anyway. I don't know why talked about that but I'm glad you did. It reminds me of. There's I believe it's the second it might be a deleted scene from the first as enter the second as mgr where he hides inside a rubber rhinoceros. Oh Yeah and then he comes out remember. He's birth by it in front of all the people in the zoo but it's really funny. Yeah so good Gary. There's certain people I bet he could make hiding. I don't no no I can't see the setpiece. I'm not blaming Sasha Baron see but that par and it's him and mark strong who played brothers whose mark strong he's like the bald guy from He's British oh Jesus man's been always like a bad guy also like no. He's like in planet in Hitman. Okay he's the Hitman there is. Yeah yeah yeah he plays I know oh him as the bad guy inches. Am Oh yeah. Play movie. Although I liked it Zam play movies demean. I'm I thought of Kazan immediately shack. Yeah she's Amazon at the one with Zachary Levi. Yes buff now. Very he secret Kumail Weekly Mail. He came out out before it could. He walked so could run but what was he before was he in something. We'll check. He was yeah it was locked. Your eyes on me to go. I'm going to ask. I realized that that was was there was a really funny. I don't know if it's like an snl better something but it was all about. How like chuck was an elaborate ruse by network convince you? There was a show called chuck but nobody actually this show chuck did not actually exist. It was over marketing. But I watched all of the trucks that was a simpsons. Simpson's gag actually is that Simpson's sometimes there was a new Simpson's where they were explaining what TV was and they were like. None of these shows exists in the USA network doesn't exist. It's one of the funniest things. I'm so glad you saw that. Because as I was watching it I was like sorta sad that not that many people or I think a lot of people do but not that many people we now I guess yeah. Watch the news that was. This is genius. I watch them occasionally not not regularly but sometimes they'll just be in the mood. They're good yeah. I'm not just saying that I did just right for them but to Galions Eddie. Yeah I wrote I wrote episodes for them. That's cool. It was so cool and then to get ready I watched a bunch of new ones and it was like what's going on here and I can say with with my episodes. They send it through the ringer. They won't let it go out until it's fucking hilarious. They may have like fifteen geniuses. I picture leading living in log cabins. Because they're just like Yuna unabomber style geniuses but for Joe. Yeah and they punch it up like a million times got it. I mean I feel like you right on that you could write on that show for twenty years or maybe some people have I think they I think Al Jean's been on that show the whole time which is thirty. That's not a bad life. If it didn't seem bad he seemed to still be enjoying it. Yeah no fool and he like read an ice cream hopeful and ah let's talk about you you don't like it only everything. Tell me your feelings my it feeling podcast. My Not WanNa go deep. No I can go. I'll tell you this I am. I'm into this is your episode. It can be whatever you want. I struggle with podcasts. In terms of I get a lot of anxiety afterwards being like look stupid. Yeah when also it's like it feels very conversational. I I don't know you really well but I want you to like me and so like maybe I'll say something that's too much. I did a podcast I I do. A lot of comedy comedian podcasts. But the acting element me and sometimes I get invited to do podcasts. That are about fashion people or or and I got I did a podcast by this mother. Daughter duo the in June. And they were like we're coming to your house. Were in town from New York. We're we're GONNA come to your house like this is a very. This is not a typical podcast. This is a podcast where we really get into it. And I texted in my manager and I was just like so like I have a appointment at one. Will that be okay. And he was like they say it's going to take four hours. Said they came. Hi This is my nightmare I can. I interject yeah. I've said yesterday things they're like. It's just a documentary guy camera and I come home and there's craft services services that's food on the front lawn and they rolled out like a full shoot and then whenever I watch them like you can tell him grumpy because there's like in nine hundred people in the house and no one told me so you have that with time which is even worse for our it was to to people and then to who video gophers so two cameras a bunch of Mike set around my kitchen table. We talked to these this mother daughter for three and a half. Soon I cried. I was like you know immediately like you know by our two and a half you are in a fever dream and you're like I in velvet right. I do comedy because I was. I was afraid of being bullied. And that's where my weeping and I just got an email from them because I've been wondering I was like what is that thing coming out. Just got an email from them and it was like hey brandon just WanNa let you know. We change our strategies. And we're not releasing podcasts anymore. Thank you so much for your no fucking Shit need the raw audio and me karate. Oh I'm relieved like immediately afterwards I was I was like what did I say. That is an incredible that like belongs in a movie. You say it on this because they'll never hear of this because there the people who they don't interact with comedy outside of like. Why did they come to you for fashion? I just do a lot of fashion. He stuff you do yeah. They weren't just like well. This is is a gay man. He must love fashion. That would I so. Many gay men have horrible people as horrible fashion. He's embarrassing Any any the game an from Chicago basically is just as Evan. You're listening to this. Just take the north face off. What's underneath I think? There's a misconception that that's why it was like I was ready to take issue with that because I have some gay friends do. We're GONNA put them on blast the sniffing around like is that happening a lot. New People assume you must be like like queer eye. Hi Is this sort of doing that. Yes no that's like an element of all this that I really like is nice clothes of what just like you know of this. Y- you being a comedian being an actor I see yeah. I'm into it into it. Yeah for you. I love it wrapped in. I am so gross. This sounds like a bit like everybody wants to be like. I'm grows but like I put on pants for you. I interviewed you'd be yesterday. WHO's a lovely young lady just wore the jams I woke up and and I wasn't even because it was you? It was more like I need need to get my shit together. Invention them and then vowel was like yes everyone notices and I wear this fucking Dad Hoodie that has stains on it. I'm I'm really a mess where I mean like in the thick of father. I mean you can dress up. But there's like yesterday Leila picked up a piece of you've Bok Choy from some food. We were eating Chinese food and she ate it and I was like that's too big. I was just watching it happen. I go that's the big and then that was that was too big. You realize that kids are not that you don't have to watch them but they work is what we say like they work like you have to keep but I am obviously but if she eats something that's too big you can usually just put your hand under her Chin intial. Spit it out. It's like this weird instinct. She knew what that meant too much food. Yeah but she put in this huge piece of And then we sort of watch it was like I think that's too big. And then she just lying out exorcist style. It was like this is why I don't dress up. Yeah why would you why would i. I am like a wood carved. Mommy like wine o'clock thing got struck by lightning and too short drink bad wide. That type of thing yeah toddler. That'd be like toddlers sleeps. Mommy dribble the roadway lightning. And then someone's stapled to an Elephant Dick to it and that's me yet. I mean those are like a real like marshals cry for help dissolve whole aw discount obsessed with marshalls but you go in there and like half of it is devoted to lake aunt obsessed with Marshall Bitten winning Marshall. I haven't been in the margins in a minute but I'm assuming they still have earrings that are on cardboard. Oh Yeah of course. Unlike a comic AVAK diffuser. That's just like I can't believe I'm waiting can't believe I'm not doing doing straight out. The bottle. Mommy wine culture I think is so fucked such a weird blind spot that they were like they. I need help. They need out like mom meter dino could do you need an afternoon off. Yeah would you like to go see a movie alone. There's such a dark undercurrent doll dark. I I mean why is it different than dad at your literally. Game having a fifth of whiskey or something. It's not ah yeah. It's not. I feel like dad is will work for beer. Type stuff dude. That's sad this is at least a the mom stuff's like fun unlike usually like silly dad makes me sad. Yeah no it's AFFEC- in trip. I don't know why didn't have something more interesting to say but I'm just so in. Please don't let this conversation and do you feel like I mean. Do your parents get you stuff like that as like a new dad. I get that I don't care for if that's what you're after is Red Sox jerseys and I just can't I can't. I'm not saying this to force a connection with us but I listen to has that story of you. Your Dad Maybe WanNa up to you dad you a gun your mind. I know you've said stage but would you mind going through it just because because it helped me just kind of connect with you and I was like this is me. I know you might not. I don't know what you might think but I'm like that is not just you. That is a story of pretty much every comedian. I know it is yeah. It's like to be clear. My Dad wasn't like hey here's a guy. I Like my Dad Bobby Jersey. It is so my dad grew up in Chicago so to my mom. And that's got to say it like calkins rumor going around Chicago anything. So bad impressions Russians. I can't Doodo you listen to your one on willful. Yeah I have some really good awesome these DIS dis. What make you do them again? I would do them again. This is your story applied So my parents both with grew up like in Chicago at southside White Sox fans white sox people and then from this huge Irish Catholic family. My Mom's one of Tan Dan. My Dad's one of six. I'm one of five and so when I was five or six. My parents made the big track and moved out of Chicago. I I mean absolutely could it. Could it be anything else. The rhythm method of it all it is like ten tries as white people with rhythm to do. What are they up so many kids that Def jam Def Jam boys and we don't know well we feel? I felt good about the okay about it not read. That's put that in the midst Mrs Steele that you can have it give. What am I favor it jokes? Ever as millennials def jam about route home alone how lost I just thought about that yesterday. And it's the funniest New York. It's a great baby. Yes yes he loves that. We all sort of secretly wish we could do that point. It's like it's so fun that the culture is so rich I mean and I think there's there's definitely some poucher paces like adaptive adapt Gymkhana he paces. Like Eddie Murphy. Are Chris Rock in the big space in the big spaces when I watched that it took me a while to get. I would say this if he was in the or not. He's GonNa I had what what he's had pita. That's nothing I have called L.. I can't do a small village. The Jon Lovitz dip. He just wants to the ranch he does love it that's a little Hollywood. Bt yes I've never had someone acronym they knew what it meant immediately. Even though I've never I bet on one scene I loved it Mullany oh so anyway. The mullany that I have known in love for so long was little. Club millennials who standing there like a pencil and a wedge of cheese. That's what New York comedians often do. Because the venues are so small and now that he that he's he's doing radio city and stuff he he clearly put all this. That was my kumail getting buff as I go. Molina's move on any steps like step. There's like a I mean he's got long legs. There's definitely a ginger nece. Ginger -ality yes showmanship. You couldn't see but Brennan was sort of pointing finding his toes like a gazelle just cats last night. Angelica Cats Gel just djelic not ANJELICA Huston. It's just cello cash Likud. L'Ecole I thought it was always like as unto Angel. No JELLICO is a made up word. It's the biggest train wreck I've ever seen something. Yeah coming in It made me come made me. You're like what does he want from me. It made me yeah. Sorry it's ten I know. Thank you removing the early. It made me sick to my stomach. Really see the CGI immediately. There's something about it that makes me WANNA puke. I I believe that I talked to. I did something with James Gordon and I was like what was is that like I mean. That's a crazy cat so I was like what was that like. Easiest shoot I've ever done most fun. I've ever had just walking around with DOTS on your face. That's what he said he was like. It was crazy eighty five during the breaks which is look at each other and be like. Can you believe how easy this is like. I guess it was very easy. There's a moment where I couldn't believe it. There's a moment where he so they're all in catsuits don't have any sort of like genitalia. But there is a moment where he gets he lands on something and get hit in his nuts cuts and he has like a full like all nuts reaction but he has no nut house. No Nad do you think anything should have we let alone. I'm sure could we have a show to them just to keep. This is not an an umbrella and the stereotype point. This is not an imprint. James I love you. I'm so sorry I whoa I mean every I dunno him would love to but every British person I know is like the most disgusting person. There's this idea of like British people very incriminate properly. British person you WANNA stick in my bomb. I can aid. Can you believe it. I know what you're talking about. When when actually it was on she would riff in any direction and that's what I tend to like about our European counterpart but you're right because they sound like? Oh my I called. I wouldn't touch a piano without gloves. What am I a chimney sweep and then you talk to one and the like but I really cockney actually that kept the accent same because that's the point is not cockney it's just like I don't have much that hell they don't have as much shame that's why they're always like like your Abella and you're attacked and they're like goodbye? GRANDMA GRANDMA that they've kind of puritanism that's right. We are still trying trying to exercise. I think that's true. I think that's true. So can I ask you this about. I have a lot of follow up questions. First of all Djelic is a fake word. jellicoe deep JELLICOE JELLICOE was walking jellicoe. It's not Djelic. How like you have the the quality of Djelic your Jellicoe if I spell it wrong for your listeners? I'm sorry somebody's with DOTS on their face. Listening it is so it every talk of it you laugh. I saw it obviously a theater in Glendale only with I saw it with fourteen gays and then there were two other people in audience and we were just just like. We're sorry. This is GONNA be Rowdy every time somebody new came on stage. We like hearing like it is. You can't go to watch cats opening night quietly no at Tan. If I win and A and a group didn't come in to make it a party I would be so so sad. Is there anything like this is going to be fun. It's GonNa be like rocky horror and then you John was just the two of them on some sort of date you God bless the fourteen gays. Who came in and made this a moment for you? This is this is it it is unwatchable. Yeah House. Mr Mustafa's skipped that does not mind being a musical. You know with magic That is something you write that. When you're like we're shooting cannons? We are not shooting hand. got this is a canon musical it. It's so low. That song is maybe nine minutes long like the whole time. He's trying trying to magic back. Judy Dan choose been stolen by Idris Elba only in a plot move. That doesn't feel right and they. They added stuff they. I've seen cats there is no place. It's basically just like a moment where somebody's just like. And what's your name. which is now the most triggering sentence in my whole life anytime? Someone's like what's your name. I'll be like Ben Johnson. Glamorous cats take anything other than that this is like you can't believe I'm blanking on his name what is going on here Brett Gilman Almond bread abide John. Bread Delvin did a show called called ten thousand cats or some really making fun of exactly. Exactly what you're talking about before the movie where it's just like. It's just introducing cats finger on the pulse that Brat Way Ahead of time did it get. He's our Malkovich. Did it get scary. Sorry I'm not joking. Did it get scary when the Ninja cats coming in the second act. I remember when I was a kid. 'cause the whole first part is like meet this cat hat and it's humor and they have a big ball and then the second egg the lights go down. And all these Ninja cats glowing eyes are breaking the fourth wall And Little Pete in this tiny marshalls Khakis didn't care for it every year including the year. That's takes us back to your guns every year. NO NO NO I. I went three times. My it's more than enough. I know it's two more times than you need. Oh Jesus I went because my mom loves cats. My mom is one of those people that no one knows what she wants. Sir Likes but she's sort of like okay with cats so we're like here's everything caps. Yeah you don't know what to do. I think that happens sometimes with women. Where like they pick an animal and is sort of becomes their talisman and so their houses full of like it's familiar Yongbyon familiar? Yeah for a second my mom. This was as an animal but my mom got into lighthouses and so all of her girlfriends and he does anything that kills me. Every time for friends came came over or like went abroad or two main or whatever they'd be like Oh and here's a little lighthouse for Nancy. Storehouse became just came a covered with lighthouses. Did you almost most say muscle Liam because that's it sounds like you're closing your mother in any way. The rocks were say what you want about my mom. Not One tiny boat has ever crashed my house. What if they did movie pitch movie Bech we have to the Lone Lone Ranger in Tanta? And now we have your mom you move out to go and show businesses movies about your mom and then one night she he wakes up to a sound in the kitchen goes down and the lighthouses on and she opens the little door. And there's a tiny man like a captain who who live at the lighthouse. It's like I have to move out because it's it's an allegory. For what how moms feel empty nest got it and then and and I'm GonNa let you you can cast guy. I'm seeing Russell. Crowe oak so in like an old. He's not a me he's not you know he's just going to like. At the end of the movie we realized that just gone criminally insane. Yeah well I'll go with Russell. Seems like seems like down to Earth Guy. It ends this riff Russell. Crowe was well Tom. Hooper who directed cats Les Miz which Russell Crowe is single and yes. I believe that you I mean Hugh Jackman say what you will giving the show Romance Mensah show men like hathaway. I have a bag with her dying on it in that movie and it's the most compliments to any bag I have ever. I call my acting bag. It's just a her passing away on a towed in that movie and then over here. You've got Russell so crow stinking up the place. All of cats is like just along Russell. Crowe inlay MS moment. It's that's hilarious. I to have another follow up question about cats. That's but I'm never gonNA work after this. Are you kidding me funny. I've been shitting lightly on the morning show every after every episode. I'm like that too much coach. Because because here's the thing amazing people make things that might not work for you like I I wrote on a show called outsourcing and got really panned one of the most brilliant stabs it. I mean I'm using the word brilliant about the staff. Some of the best I keep in touch with a lot of them. A lot of them are working on amazing things and they made something. Something just didn't work for some people. My first job was this reboot of the movie heathers and it was like it's going to be this huge thing and it got so so incredibly panned and then never got really released. Because there's Mike School violence in it and every time they went to release it a shooting happened in the network basically just kept pulling it from the air and during all of this because it's based on kind of like an Ip like people would just basically basically Duncan me on twitter for a two year experience of that. But as I was shooting it I was like this is the most fun I've ever had to be James Corden. I was like this is the best job of my whole life and the release. I mean. That's that's exactly right was a the release was AFI ESCO I think he I can't speak for James. He didn't say anything about this but I got the sense that he knows that. It's it's cats. That's the word it's not silly. It's not stupid it's not it's cabs. Yeah it's a scam. There's a I wonder if they had training. If anyone leads you to the irony or the weird weird called gay as everybody was into the and then they go. Just say it's cats. Hey Cat when uh when heather's was coming out and we were getting media training and everyone was just like. How can you release this in a time? When this is going on in our culture in such an intense way the Viacom media trainer was just like just say it's entertainment who God was? I thin cigarette the man and now like completely desensitize kind of like the internet or feedback and stuff like that in a really good way because of that experience at the time I was like hold up in my room lights off crying. You know he was really doing a four hour fashion relief leave the taxi. My friends for pin like Oh really hit you hard. It hit me hard last night. I don't often go on the tweets but I went on last tonight because I I feel the fucked up is I got the new phone my phone I had the two phones ago. Yes and it just I started fucking turning off at three percent and I I was fucking freezing in New York. I called an Uber and then it died. Thank what is a bad story. You're just realize you till the right here. Thrown get a power block. It had it had a ninety eight percent ended. Had An extra battery. And you know what I mean. There was no reason fucked up phone so so then I got the new one I was just like they were like. Oh well we could appear to. We would and it costs this and I was like fuck it just giving the upgrade and I did the upgrade and the upgrade you use is the phone war of course. Yeah it's it's pretty touching cold cream or something it's just like putting your fingers match potatoes. You know the good thing is touching the back of silver surfer. How's that it's just so pleasant erotic thing I've ever that's the comic Book Villain Okay? Rise of the silver surfer. He realized they fought him. I think he started bad. I missed that one. We all all missed it. You know what I'm done. I'm not seeing the New Star Wars. I don't give a shit I'm done. Yeah I really am every star wars and there's talking about great people making things that just might not be for me. I'm obsessed with Adam driver. I love him to death but the last couple of star wars are gone. I'm just like people are going to win the Lucasville thing and comes up and I'm like I don't know I've had. I haven't had a colonoscopy but this is where you would say it because I'm fully you'd be like I can't this isn't you haven't had one. No you got again what I do. Yeah really I think so. Katie Katie. Doesn't I think I'm addicted to going to the doctor. Though really yeah I would get them now if they would let let me hypochondria I just love having somebody told me that lake. Okay I love getting my like blood levels done and like being like I need to be taking more vitamin the and I like to open the settings on your body You WanNa go like I want to see what's going on in there that's a type of ASL or are you familiar without going to the doctor where people ask you personal questions. And they're like how many how many bowel movements do you have a day or or whatever it might be. Yeah I I don't have it either. You just made a face that made me feel very quickly. Like don't shave movements one isn't one but that'd be like how much do you sleep every night or like things like that or like. Do you ever have any pain in your feet do. Yeah Yeah you can look look bad headaches. Yeah exactly. It's kind of great Nutri melot tea tree and they pause. I tried it. I I did the thing because I was like. I've never looked at Marin and just been like fucking. I'm just going to masturbate. I've there's something erotic going on and I'm just like this I. Let's just skip to the meal going on now. Just just where they eat really spicy food it just you know. It's obviously like Perry beautiful women and the spicy food like. Oh my God. It's hot and then they like drink cold milk and tax. That's it's a I mean it certainly not for me but kind of jump into shame. Shame for me jumping industry culture for a second going on because you just said it's always the most popular popular ones. Tend to be very beautiful and they're just like just open this Christmas paper and you're just like why can't it. Just be a guy being what's going the on because it's could sack I feel it on your tainted you go. I'm not crazy about like the sound of a mouth smacking you. We know Lego. Yeah did you it for your followers. But it's just not for me if I have A. I have a little snack bar in my pocket and I was like maybe of Brennan tells a story that looks like it's going to go a long time to sit down. Because I have to put the MIC far away because I'll get so going back to the tweets. He's so many commentators. It's a real thing you wanna eat it. I could tell the gun story. I'm okay right now but I do want to hear the gun story but I was also telling you that I went on twitter and for the first time in a long longtime somebody tweeted something mean to me just sort of was like I watched myself I was. I watched my interstate and I was like this is okay yeah like I understand. I had read tweeted something anti trump or whatever and I was like it's just going to happen for a day or two. You just know that that's going to happen. I'm also sometimes impressed that that these people who clearly have no idea who I am research you to think of something mean to say based on your career and I'm like if only you could use that power for good. Yeah instead of just trying to be like I'm GonNa fuck up your day a little bit. It's what awesome are for trump trollers. I don't get upset when it Comes into my mentions or whatever like comments. I get upset at myself when I when ever ever I reply to it I spend you know six to eight weeks being like you Eddie. Had why did you reply. Why did you reply? When I said percents clearly has their own thing thing going on their own issue? That has nothing to do with me right and so to engage with it as immature. Well when people re tweet it and like with a comment just to let their followers troll them. I'm like yeah guys. Use Use your powers for good Sarah Silverman wants did it very beautifully Fli where she re tweeted. Something mean with with a comment and she just had like an open dialogue about like what's going on what's wrong. I forget how it ended. It ended with him opening up. I think about being like super depressed and she liked pointed direction of help to really beautiful. She's is great but I was like I. I can't be doing that. I think I guess I could women. I think women can do whatever they want in terms of like you know so if somebody comes for a woman online and they dunk on them. I'm you know I'm in the stands cheering for that. Yeah it's when like a guy who has it's been a guy does it where I'm like. Yeah like whatever what what I was on best week ever. I remember one of the topics because he loved. It wasn't a fun. Oh my God all I love the ninety S. Yeah that's what I grew up on those shows me to like. I thought Mike Arcs Outsmart Sparks Mike leading black. We're like the end still arts. I mean like the biggest stars in the world I know I remember very distinctly thinking about moving to New York. I was living Chicago and I'd watch best week ever and I'd it'd be like Paul Scheer and it said comedian so I always assumed that he was a stand up and I was like. What is that guys? Stand up like like he's an improvisor is there and yet he's wonderful but like I just assumed everybody was me. I was watching different meanings on the show and it gave me this outlet and I was on it. It was fucking is amazing and then why did I bring that up. Oh one of the stories was the Joe. Rogan got an a huge my space war with troll and I remember certainly not. Yeah I I still remember it because unless you had to kind of spin everything that it was great and it was like it wasn't really a grave it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't not great but it wasn't my favorite topic because they think at one point in the email he's like he's like I've been on nine nine series. I like Joel. Does not shots fired this happen. And he was like sort of. Fear factor. Joe This was fear factor. Joe Being like I never very out to work again. Yeah you you little ship so he was feeling agro and that's fair it's okay I'm not I'm not shaming. I'm just saying I didn't know how to make that light. Yeah it'd be like you got that I could get up. I said that one I've been really. I've been really really good. And I kind of just just disassociate from the stuff. But I got really upset at the Internet of all things to get upset at. The Internet got really upset. That Melissa Melissa McCarthy was going to play Ursula in the New Little Mermaid and a lot of the Internet was like why would you cast her lake. Thank you should cast a drag queen like what's interesting is when a dragging right Ursula kind of well are you the Internet right now. I was just like most of the people that right. Now is the funniest thing anyone's ever said most of the the Internet right now. That is so funny I will never forget that classic. That was like an exacto knife. Burn I mean you could call someone someone out pretty easily just. Are you being the Internet right now. So funny thank you for that but a lot of a feed was just cast a drag queen in this and we adjust. Had Valentina and Tina not do that well in rent live and I was like. We've drag queens aren't actors into some of them yes some of them are but this. This is also Melissa McCarthy. The biggest comedy star of her generation a person who fought tooth and nail for respect in this industry for many many a years who has come out on top and should be on top and now wants to play Ursula and she should and you're all idiots and then somebody was like this is actually we like Like anti this is like homophobic like this against drag queens and yeah and I was just like bitch i Emma Faggot like can you stop like who are you. Yes I could and they were just like just because you can't say and and now it's like I'm scared still torn up about it because I'm talking about it literally three months later and I was like that was a moment of like Brendan. You're so weak O. M.. Njit shouldn't have gotten into the fray. I don't mean to circle back I wasn't saying a drag queen should players love but I was like she has that vibe well she's modeled off of love divine. Who is that's what I'm thinking eyelash and that was the argument? I see but I also that you're gonNA say Melissa McCarthy Kumail too much got to buff. She's very skinny now. Oh is she yeah. She's skinny. I guess I haven't checked in with her in a second. Yeah she. She lost a lot of weight. The which is good for. I think a lot of people so she wants for sure. I think being skinny can be expensive. You know what I'm saying so like Kamal's post you talk about all the people that helped him do that. I ran into him. Like the Virgil a couple months hurt. Yeah he ran right into is is made out of cured Oakwood now and he and my good friend Joachim Booster. WHO's a very buff? Comedian if you don't want to tell us his name. You don't have to make up Kim. That is his name. I believe it now. He got name. Check Joe you're great. But they were basically just next to each other being like and this is all the stuff I have to do at five. Am to wake up. In the middle of the night to eat Joel blends chicken in a blender in e and drinks it with water like rocky. Yeah just to get it in them. Yeah that is like rocky. It's like the eggs saying you gotTa get twenty grams of protein. Any real fast or whatever tough. Yeah no make good stuff no commit Gustav. Can you edit that out. I don't know where that came from me. Good it means it means I don't like okay. Here's my question. I can't believe that by the way that's intense. Well I remember Mel. I saw him the last I saw him actually was he was really big like Chunky and I would say that if he was in the room because he was he was eating ice cream. And like that's part of it. I guess I told him that. You get real big like you and then you tone own it and then you tone it like you have to sculpt something so that's why there's like weight gain powder and stuff and it was a very fun Kumail because he loves great British Bake Bake off so he's like. Do you want to have some cream. Sure I'm no. I'm his eating good for pleasure. And he's like this is part of my flak and I'm like this Artemije live skull. I do the bar before. You're sculpting by life and never felt Batista told that's somebody you WANNA trust for in terms of tone Elliott. Yeah in terms of tone I yes I just watch jobs new movie which is great and there's two you gags that rely on someone being really really must really like Batista. There is something so Pete Davidson. Yeah there's something funny about someone huge next to a comedian. Although Pete is sort of I sort of was having a hard time being like well Pete's got like muscles he's like a monthly skinny guy. Yeah he's not wearing a shirt in the movie and like you're like well it looks great. Yeah he just did like a paper magazine shoot and he's like very fit in it. Yeah I guess I didn't expect what did I thought he had. Not that Sandler's not I. I always think that he's the Sandler of this. SNL You know in that way the weekend update Kinda yes. And I'M GONNA sing about my red hooded sweatshirt and then if sandler looked like that I would have been checked too. That's my point. I I've actually already consumed to bits of Sandler content today this morning I woke up it. That's your personality. The first thing I woke up and watched him just ball with kids at a twenty four hour fitness on. Like you know a basketball court. This is I R. L. I. R. L. Like I think recently just like POPs into pick up basketball games at gyms and he's like gets buckets and at what point he delivers an expert. Pass like it comes to him. And then he whips it into the paint for an assist to end Oh Yeah and then I watched him Just a little bit of his interview on David Spade. Show wait so you saw him in real life and then you're like no no online. Oh I'm sorry that he came to your gym. There's more now I'm sure he's like in New York somewhere right. What huge bug well? It's a big ASS spider. Are you afraid of it. That's okay just as a bit of play-by-play There's a spider in studio and Pete just went to use a cup to put it on the wall and then take it outside but there was green juice in the so now there is green juice each through green juice all over the wall. You did the right thing. We're talking to a shook the right thing. I'm not super afraid of spiders. Bees B.'s. Really scare me though. I think that's a good one visa. Fuck you up. My mom is allergic to be is so I had this distinct memory of when I was a kid us like going golfing because another thing we tried to do in. Indiana was like become suburban and took golf lessons and we went golfing thing like twice and she got stung by a bee and so I had administered EPI pen to her and then call an ambulance showing need of the penwith. She liked yes. She's just so allergic to bees sound because I was allergic to bees and then later I was like I don't think I am because I got stung. Dong was like somebody misdiagnosed me. I had a friend who was allergic to milk all growing up so he would have pizza with no cheese and no dairy and he was deathly allergic to dairy and then at a certain point in high school he had it and he didn't react and we were all. How long have you have? You was that just the thing you grew out of. Because and now he can eat it but he doesn't really which is great because it's better for you health wise. Yeah but we were like so you can eat it. Allergies like milk have an expiration. Yeah that's what were you talking about. I did on my cats follow up. Hit Me hit here comes so I'm going to theater. And the cats preview comes on and I live on the east side of Los Angeles. I'm ready to have a good ironic giggle and I jake. That's not ironic giggle and it's playing and then James Corden is on the teeter totter. And he doesn't someone else jump on and he doesn't get catapult and he's like did you really think that was going to attack and I laugh like a hundred percent funny part of Yeah that's my question. Is there anything that's that you like. It's pretty good. That was super funny. Rebel Wilson's in Senate and so it seems like there were certain moments where they were like. Let's just put James and rebel together and just see what happens. And then so there's this toll element to cats very highly choreographed movie. That's very like is this a judd. Abbott how Buddy comedy all of a sudden she's like there's all of a sudden like a riff element to it. That really is kind of shocking out. She's got some good ones she. There's this one moment I just like look what the cat dragged in. And you could see you can see that. It's a rebel Improv. Of of being like how silly would it be if I even put this in the movie and you can see sense that from her and then they put it in the. Oh my God. She's somebody she kind of makes Her living by I think she she does a really great thing where she's kind of like outside of it looking in a little bit. I know what you mean. And she's doing it. Wow how having this extra personal experience. Yeah and out of body really hard to pull off but she pulls it off and in cats. It's Super Weird Yeah I watched a rebel Wilson thing recently. Where some psychic do you know about this? There's some show where this kind of young good looking guy. He's like very young goes around and just does psychic readings for celebrities and she was one of them and I was like this show stupid and like ten minutes and she's like bawling because he's like what's going on with your sister. Can we call her and he calls her sister and he's like I just want you to know I know it's a hard time right now and she starts crying and rebels crying and go. Have you ever had anything like that. That's my question. I've never been to a psychic. I've ending yeah. Just make something up. I've done therapy I. I'm currently ghosting. My I old therapist who we keep going like you need to come back. Yeah like the social worker and Joker you need to come back and you're like oh to under scares the air's where a suit where did come from now. A instagram moment. Like a lot of people are doing like take photos on the stairs jokers to Chicago. Isn't it. I think it's in Harlem in Harlem but dark knight was shot in Chicago and Spiderman. 'cause I worked at that Bennigan's in Chicago. Have you ever been that. Benny's have not been and I have been to that Bennigans. Everybody's been depending South Michigan. Just barely South Michigan. One fifty South Michigan. It's it's a walgreens now. Oh God but that's where they shot coll- Uncle Ben Uncle Ben's brown rice saying saying to Peter Parker's rice. He says great power great responsibility. It's in front of the art institute playing it Kinda Brilliantly as opposed to toby God the only Spiderman I like I'm just getting admits is to the Garfield ones just missed a Garfield Andrew Garfield. which ones did he do? He did two of them in the middle of their the amazing spider man a Emma stone at a certain point that is that goes back to my star. Were saying at a certain point. Sometimes you just like I think I need to take a break. 'cause they're all amazing. I'm Pete I'm laughing because it's the amazing spider man they all have some uh-huh value but at a certain point I'm just like I can't with the spectacle the Martin Scorsese thing where he's like. They're not cinema we. It's boring to talk about. Everybody knows knows. I think everybody knows what he means but we have to be like fuck. Yeah they're five and they are fun but I am older now and I'm just like I just WanNa Watch there will be blood. I JUST WANNA watching film marriage story. Yeah here's a remake. You WANNA get I. It made me think vowel is GonNa leave me for weeks. That's why back and we have a very healthy relationship. But I've been left before and I was like that movie fucking freaked me out. Yeah when somebody's just like first of all no bombeck. bombast is one of my favorite filmmakers of all time and I loved it and it's great and I can't get over the net flicks icons for it moments. That aren't in the movie. Be where the whole family's together just enjoying each other one of the icons of just Adam driver sort of like whimsical leaning on his hand like the preview really leans into just like this. This is what I love about you of. That's because they know you love family comedies. Or they know you love family stuff is important to you and so they show you those moments it for me. You know lonely gay man they just show me like Adam drive they show me Scarlett Johansson screaming. Do they icons are her. Just like yeah. We'll click this because that would be more honest. It sounds like that's like it's a very highly curated to what they think you will click. Click like they have like thirty options based on your data and it makes the most Clinton and then they test them like crazy. No Shit Yeah because I have have a bit on stage right now where I'm like. They say there's algorithm but I've watched every episode of great British bake off a new season came out and they're still pushing ozark. I didn't know Oh a new season came out. It was buried like that subtle great British bake episodes. I had to find it. Well I think sometimes when they spend a lot of money on some like this the the thing yeah please watch for the icons. It's very curious to you. That's interesting. My Irishman icon. I wonder what yours is but mine is Robert Deniro looking like he's wearing like Halloween makeup. I'm sorry I'm sure people worked really hard to make them look young. He doesn't he. Looks like my dad with a powder ring powder and my dad and was like yes thirty nine. And he's like that dude seventy four yeah well mine's Joe Patchy and drag just be. Hey I'm I'm like Oh the Irish Wolfman I sorry about that loved it. I didn't Finish Irishman and I'm sure it's great. I wish I had seen it in the theaters. Because it's one of those things I feel like you have to like commit and watch it. I haven't seen it but I tried to watch it in the old son and when he fit ATV in the Sauna. That's what that stands you put the I pat on it get into it. Damn not into the sun would get to it but when he he had to like I was watching and with full respect just watching his body and he's moving like a very old man. I was like with respect. Martin's exquisite one of my favorite for both ending our careers just like did they consider having a young man. Play Young Deniro. Yeah why not. Can we do that. It would have been great defined a new young Deniro. Somebody that's just got that gravity. It has a cat's element to it where it's like focus on the CGI in a way that's kind of distracting being in like just done cats with them in tights and crazy makeup. I would have been way more there for it because I would have been like Ooh the theatricality of it right there was a CGI element. That's like. Oh I'm watching something that's half baked or something that's been put on it. Yeah it's somebody wearing a fake moustache get your party and there's been to me you know what I'm saying is what no no. No I'm saying you can't can't get used to it. It's like someone that's just like. Hello I'm Steve and you're like but you don't have to be like isn't it a month. That's how you feel when you're watching a movie. You're like this this. I have no idea what you're talking brain registers as real kind of but there's something in you that goes. This is a warm spot in the pool. I feel uncomfortable. Yeah yeah that's what I mean. I remember the first time they did that. Like de Aging are that I'm aware of was Jeff. Bridges and Tron Legacy Bertran. And that was. I only know Jeff. Bridges is like the dude and is an old person in my life and I was like Jeff Bridges fucking heart. Has He always been and the answer was yes. Yeah people tell me. I look like bridges. And then they have to go star man because they they don't want to think Jeff Bridges Right Starman with Jeff Bridges. What am I thinking of when I think of Kurt Russell Kurt Russell Jeff? Bridges have definitely sat in chairs for auditions together on each other's laps. Well now we're just having fun. Tell me about the gun. Oh The gun Renan tell me about the gun when I had the gun so we moved to Indiana and my dad kind of sorry from from Chicago. Okay and so my dad. kind of late in life. Life for in his middle age became an outdoorsman of sorts and a lot of his Friends in Indiana Guy. Friends Dude friends were like hunters enters and you get the sense that your dad was trying to be something. He wasn't a little bit. Yeah Yeah I mean. I don't think it's he. I will say this. He doesn't do it anymore so I think it was kind of a phase to fit like a socialist clan. Yeah no I don't mean the K.. Clan tribe right your drive Dr Clan. What part is sort of? I don't WanNa say rural. But it's real Indiana it's like a small town and but if you drive fifteen fifteen minutes it's all cornfields. Yes so it's your funny bone. Oh Yeah Yeah and it was always scary. My opener for all those towns was like driving in was terrifying. 'cause there's no street lights there's no cell reception and the I think the bit. It was like if I pulled over and the children of the corn just came out all listen to how old this joke is. I'd go all I do. Just play snake and wait for them to eat my soul Smith. Everyone likes such. That's an Oldie. PD Ban storing around. Mostly that part of the country cottage so keep going so he tried to fit in right and so a lot of these. It also had sons who were my age or went to school with me and they started to buy them guns when we were like ten or eleven that I'm confused to go hunting wanting or like going shoot deer and they would go and shoot deer. Yeah Wow I didn't know you could do that so if a park ranger came by and you had a twelve twelfth cake shotgun there'd be like that's a good time. I think they'd be like let me get in on that. It'd be like my son's in the back wow And so these so at one point my dad was like hey do you want a gun. I was his trying to fit in with bleeding into you right you father son thing that we do and I you know obviously trying to fit in as well was like yeah you you figure. How much did you figured out who you are a little bit but also just innately was not interested? You know this was maybe like fourth fifth grade. Hey this is why I wanted to be like. This is just a comedian story to me. It's not so relatable. Yeah my father would be like. Do you want a gun. It'll be like I think but I'd be scared. That's why I love where this story's going keep going and I got so we went to like this place called Blyth's down the block and got a got me a gun and it was a full shotgun and it and we went out with Buckshot. I don't even know it had to be yours. Yeah well we weren't. We were shooting Tears shooting deers. We were shooting clay. Ducks all right you. You know. There's probably birdshot yes. We all learn this from chapelle special So we went out to a place and it's one of the one of my dad's friends owns like a little bit of land with a cabinet. That's literally called Swampy Lake and everyone's it's like. Hey we're going out to swampy. You WanNa go swampy and I had never been to swampy and I went to swampy and we drove in a pickup truck to a cleared area. And it was maybe like three boys three DADS and we stood in a row and they each like shot a clay disc and then it was my turn had never shot the gun before. And they pull they said pull and I like went up and shot it. And it the kickback. The gun hit my shoulder so hard that I started crying and then I tried to do it again and it really hurt again and then I spent the rest of the day sitting in the back of the pickup. Just being like good job guys and I was like the cheerleader. Why God and to my Dad's credit? He wasn't like you're an embarrassment. He was just like what is this now. I love the story. Yeah that's not part of the standard redeem because they didn't were sort of assuming that your dad was like humiliated or no. Yeah my dad's not like this like hyper Macho Guy. He's very sensitive and quiet so I think this was was like sort of like him think I feel like he felt like this was something he was supposed to do. As like an Indiana Dad right and I and I was taste like sporty played basket. I was a big sports fan and That's where you got the term sinking buckets or whatever you inside kids getting back into. Thanks bye cut. I was quite sporty. All the boys say I was a sporty spice. And so nobody who's sport. He has ever used the word sporty sporting. I think that's hilarious. Aaron Rodgers Sporty. I'm a little bit sporty. Haven't yeah I guess the subtext of that story. Uh when I heard you tell it on stages you're like is this when you started coming out That's like the feeling is that what. When did that happen? I'm always interested I am. I came out pretty young. I came out in seventh grade so I was maybe like thirteen or fourteen. That's isn't that wonderful. I mean to to get it go and early I I mean I think now when I you know my boyfriend my boyfriend. Now he's like I came out after college and I'm like oh no I guess I had done a little bit more self collection than you not to make it about him because I don't WanNa be unfair to him but he knew I think he knew I think they're like a whole host of either like internal or external forces that keep people from doing it whether it's like their family or even just like that. Oh like self to be able to EXAC- to know about yourself and also like if I think that if you're a guy and you think you might be by instead of gay your I think you do what you can into lean leandre. Yeah it's just so much easier or in the requires less steps of you to You you know to to do that. Declare your identity. Yeah and it's hard to undo it. You know yeah well. I think it's becoming less so but but I came out when I was. I did in fact undo it. I came out when I was in seventh grade and I went to this really small Catholic school like there. Were maybe like fourteen kids in my class so and and so it was really small and I came out kind of at a pool party. Very flippantly and Meaning like I was just like well you know me. I'm gay and just sort of saw the group. Yes how it landed landed ended well beloved by the girls immediately and the guys the the the these are where people had gone to school with for like seven or eight years so everyone knew me really well and The this classmates themselves were very accepting and cool and then I don't mean to have like a close minded feeling about Indiana Indiana. But I'm like impressed by the story. I think I think something to do with how was with that. How close that group of kids were? We're just knew each other and everyone knew each other's parents and and that's actually what happened is one of the kids told their parents who told my parents and so. That's how you came out to your parents. I was outed to my parents at home. My my parents are really fantastic but at the time it was like my mom like Sammy down in our Sunder Sun room room and I can picture it and she and I almost felt like I knew it was coming and she was like because I've been really just telling everybody around town shirt I'd better the town crying it at every party and then I knew it was gonNA come back. Did you want it kind of maybe consciously to happen that way. Maybe it's like a little bit easier. Sure Yeah because I'd certainly couldn't sit there and do that with them. And so my mom I remember it was just like so You know this. This person is saying that you're Telling everyone that you're gay and I was like well I yes. I'm doing that and then she was like. I think you should wait and I think now into this is the you know the early two thousands and I think now maybe she would have been like. Well let's talk about how to make this a a good situation for you but I think at the time she was so afraid of you. Know what's of how my life would turn out or or or what if I was wrong or or I had never made out with a girl or a guy I had never kissed anybody so I think it was coming from a place places like fear and love but she was like you should stop telling people that and and tell people that you're not and so that's what I so. I basically went to school the next day and had to be like J. J. Eighth Grade. I got a girlfriend. I don't know who was one of my best friends and continues to be really. Yeah namedrop Kelly galais friend Kelly uh-huh md.. She'll probably be like we were never official of but yeah we and she was my girlfriend and then I ended up then I came out again in in high school in an attempt to understand. I've heard the stereotype that all kids are sort of everything you know what I mean. Do you think that was her thing. You don't know yourself yourself. It's it sounds like they weren't like just being like certainly sounds like they were like that's wrong. Don't say that they were was she more like you. Don't know shit some some you don't know and then some you know some cultural stuff of like a you know. My mom didn't have any gay friends now. One of her best friends is this old gay guy who who she was like obsessed with me to me she being like an Eugene meet read. Hey when next time you come back can we just do like drinks with read and I was just like I know. Rita's Guy I just. She didn't say she just kept being like he's an interior designer. He's now redesigned literally redoing. My entire parents house which is talking about the gay graft become friends get a business. Oh tune Jesus but I met gay. I met read and he was like. Hey how related it. Literally Cheshire Cat. That's but now it's like she's got this you know gay bff but at the time she didn't and I think she was unsure of Blake. How my extended family would accept me and so well that sort of speaks to that? She's expressed some regret about it and I she's kind of a a little bit of a Microcosm Qasem of like the of our larger culture. You know you have to give people room to grow is how I feel right and they need to have experienced that was I. I've said this a million but my first first mother-in-law was very anti gay marriage and even at the time when frankly. I was probably indoctrinated in the church. And maybe no I. I was broke it but like I know people like you but she lived in like the sticks of Maine I was like. You don't know any gay people so when you came mount in your class and they're so few of you you have this tight group and then one of us gay. The communal aspect of that being easy is so clear to me. Just like what you're saying in the in the bigger. If your if your mother had had a gay friend it would have been different completely. Yeah Yeah but it is weird that so many people are making beliefs on things that they have. They've never met a gay person. That's never met a trans person. They all whatever it might be and we're just going around like my mom. My mom is. She's one of my favorite people Boba when I was back home for Thanksgiving she basically Explained the AIDS quilt. Make talked her through basically his experience with the AIDS crisis because he was in the thick of it and in Chicago and so basically she. My mom was like you know. And then there's the AIDS quilt and you know it was just an epidemic and nobody did anything and I was like mom I know about the AIDS crisis like have you seen this movie and I was like Yes. I saw that movie ten years. I've seen every single movie about AIDS. I seen every play they about AIDS. I've seen every bit of media that has anything to do with HIV. I have seen it. Wait when did she try to explain it to you. This past November. I'm sorry when you were kids a month ago go. My mom was like well. Then you know the AIDS quilt and I was like I have seen it uh-huh on it. I showed it bitch ads ready estate. That'd be ready to go. That was against that. I just do that. What did the J. K. field was that hard? JK was really hard J. K. was like Ak and then so. I immediately then all of eighth grade. It was this weird thing about this ghost chasing me of like so. Didn't you say you were gay last year and it was like you know because they probably because they was your truth. Yeah and they were like. What's you know quick snack mome? Tell me more about that so talk to me about coming out. I'm GONNA eat as an do that age river again but then after eighth grade I went to this big public high school where it was like six hundred kids per class and so I basically like drifted drifted into more of like a anonymity in a nice way. Yes wonderful love it and it was kind of able to be to to take some of the pressure off of that sense of like being in a small fishbowl and then it did drama and theater and stuff like that and then it was it was there was a whole moment where it's like back. He's out but he's not talking about it. And then I came out and then I went to theater camp at northwestern actually after my junior year her and got my first boyfriend so hey. Abby Lee named Kelly Kelly with a y eleven Irish so I have food in my mouth. I'll do over here. When did perform coming talk? Funny I always just vows with me. We talked about it for weeks. That was at the vulture fest so no offense to the vulture show but it was kind of like a weird. Well it was you were doing like crashing interviews and then we were doing it was it was like a mash up. That's that's right. That's what made it weird. Yeah I remember the venue being a little bit that basement in in the Roosevelt and the and the crowd was too comfortable. They were seated in very cushy chairs. Yeah it was like a screening room almost and then you went up and people were doing fine but then you went up and and you like did this thing that I just couldn't believe somebody as like as young as you are and whatever I would just impressed. You did something that was very like I don't care there was like a very like in the in the funny way. Hi It's not funny nervous not to be like this is the vulture post. I'm afraid when you went up and you just like I remember you physicality you're moving around and like just in this way that I was like skipped his not afraid and I got the feeling that a lot of people on the show. Where like there's industry here this is? La Vulture show. Yeah and it locked some people up and then you went and literally like were you know using the space and showing knowing your fearlessness. And I was like really blown away. And that's what I wanted to have you on the podcast. Actually well I think that I I. I was in a really good spot in the lineup. I was like fourth which was great. And then you adjust a whole riff about Louis and I just came up right after it was like. It's me new Louis and then audience. I I did improv before. Stand up forever and so it's like that's Alam end of it. I just try to start whenever you can get an audience to believe that you are in the room and spontaneous and they're like way more with you but you are funny. You're not saying funny things. You're funny I was just talking to Katie. The other Kadian eighty in our lives our nanny who so funny so funny you know Kate officials. She's Sam sister sister. She's incredible and boy. Oh boy does it. Does it just like me up. Because is I love talking about standup. I you go through twenty years of were more of experiences and then you're just dying. That's one of the reasons as I had this podcast today and I'm not GonNa do. Obviously I'm just saying I like talking about it with newer comedians and Katie loves advice. Yeah I don't I don't Pete Heat split tangents but if she's like I have the show and I'm a little nervous I'll just be like one of the hardest things to do in combination over lunch. I was like just be be funny. Don't do funny material. Be Funny and I know you are Katie. You are so funny. Just be. It's it sounds so basic it's actually ramdas to that as Ramda's is teacher of mine. Yeah he said that to me as well which is really funny because he's not a comedian but he was like people people hate when someone's doing confidence like don't try to be competent just like merge into your nature yeah yeah and Katie. So funny I was like don't basically. I was giving her the advice to do what you did. which is like just go up and be like fuck it? I'm funny funny. And even if they're not with it that's on them you know what I'm saying that's like the hardest thing to get about stand up so it's been really fun talking with Katie and I think it for me so much of that I that the M- it's like a different way that you flirt or coax the audience it's into either liking. You said it was like a date. Yeah I said it's like a date like don't don't be nervous to just be yourself stupid right. They're gonNA like that's how I feel but you know dating. It's like you at this point. It's like you have to be yourself. You can't pretend to be somebody else because then you have to be yourself that whole you have to keep that lie. I up right so so much of standup is when I'm really feeling like I'm on firing on all cylinders. It's like what I'm doing when I'm just the being myself when I like get tense or or whatever or haven't done it in a second where you get all of a sudden you're like really bad at it. That is what the reps are about about show last night on stage and like maybe two weeks and I was just like Wolf. Okay here we are right. It's like you haven't been on a date in a while. We'll we'll more bread and you don't know what you're doing like who am I right. That's what the reps are for. We I think the newer comedians gets to practice saying your jokes. It's actually just practicing thing literally lowering your heart rate like a boxer like. Can you be calm in a weird situation. Yeah I went up last night again. I've been doing it twenty years. I am standing backstage at the at the store. And I noticed that my heart was jacked and I wasn't nervous. I'm being real. Of course I would tell you. I did notice that my body was nervous and I was like. That's the whole thing is keeping your mind while you're body's like we. Yeah ah bail cancel. I'm in charge cancel. I'm in charge. That reminds me of Gabe. Wedeman San I love that. Send us the funniest the thing in the world. Every tweet is funnier with the words end. I wanted I wanted to write Harrison Ford Ford versus Ferrari as a tweet if it had harrison board versus Ferrari sand the thousand times on ear. And I'm obsessed with pen fifteen. He fucking guild pen fifteen. He's making this new animated show. I'm really excited. We ought to have him back on. Cause he's the King What were are we saying confidence? Stand up you were saying that. Show being funny. I thought I had something else. It doesn't matter. When did that? Come come into Your Life Stanton. was there something else stand up. I've been it's been about five years. You've been doing it for five years and get the fuck Outta here. You're so funny so funny I in fact I watched your comedy Central Club and they're always moments where it was like. If this was an audience is filled of Brennan scannel fans. That would be a four forty minute clip. It's like a twenty minute club and I'm not saying they're not allowed. I'm just saying I I now know what it's like to perform for fans and when they know your voice and they know your tone because they're all these things you're saying and I'm like where were they for that again. It's a great clip. Please send it around inconsiderate great. It's great and I was forecasting into the future. When they know you that line that just seems like a character line mine is going to be a huge line? Younger newer. COMEDIANS have to go like faster because the audiences don't they don't really care as much but I was like this. This is this is actually a forty minute set because they should be laughing more. There's nothing like performing in front of people who like no you care about you. That's the best it's the best. It's the best. Yeah I and if you're like a special treat so I did two sets last night then I went to largo and the feeling was like. Oh it's that guy we kind of know that guy and I was doing the same fucking material and I was having a pause and I'm thinking like I just did this joke and it didn't work. Yeah Yeah this joke about dry lines I is there anything worse than a dry lime I did at the store and everyone's like go on and I I they were like we know that is such a huge thing to say and I was like Big Maria Fan also at the at the Largo they love love or a sparky Wiwa with squirt right. I also I mean people. There are certain crowd that I've just noticed. Don't understand the comedy isn't just do. We're not trying to just write a set that would work. We're trying to do comedy. That's I think there's everybody not just me. That sort of part of the humor is of all the things you could choose. You chose this because that's who you are. And that's part of the delight of it and to many audiences are just going like no make me laugh. Surprise me tatum. Late may shock me but the comedy that I like is when people are going this is who I am. I sound like a parent but that's how I feel when I'm watching perform like please just show me who you are. Anybody can be like ever have diarrhea Aria. You know what I mean. That's fine. I have some jokes like that but the things it delight me are when people go. Is there anything worse than the dry line. Because I'm like that matters enough to you to make it three times a night. Yes and it's yeah. That's what I like about standup is like people's this point of view like how strong it can be right whether that's like really dumb stuff or like really personal stories. There's what I love about standup is that it's There is just no wrong way to do it right. You know. There's so many different ways and I started doing it because I had been doing improv. And I did Improv in Chicago and I oh and I moved here and did Improv at UC be. And I just wasn't I wasn't in writing and I wasn't making I didn't feel like I was also incredibly depressed and I lived in Echo Park next to this place called echoes under sunset. Ah Live like down the block from it. Sounds like a book. Depressed at echoes on everyone. There was but it was this venue. That only did basically only had had open mics because they didn't really have any en some comedy shows and I just went there like you know six times a week and just and sometimes we I do too in a night and it was a great source of feeling like I was actually doing something because Improv even though it's wonderful Ken feel like say on passing through your fingers. Yeah and you are getting good in all these skills can be like. Oh that person was funny in that but all be on the lookout for them the next time or something like that and it felt like stand up this like I said to myself or somebody told me. This comedian Brianna Donahue started. Maybe like three months before me but it might in my mind. She had been doing it forever. Yeah I was like Oh Brianna. The old veteran then like the years later I was like. Haven't you been doing it forever. And she's like no. I started in March that year and I was like I started in June but she was like just know. You'll be good at this in like five five or ten years yeah and so when I got AFL it was like exactly five years basic. Wow and that is i. I've said this a million to but I was like I had to get in my mind. I think it's helpful for young comedians ago. I would have people always told me ten years whereas when you get really good just put that Italy Italy still the journeys continues but it'll continues for me to falsely. It's like you still are figuring it out which it's like. It's like you mentioned golf earlier. I don't play golf. People say that's a game that you never perfect. That's what makes it endlessly interesting last night. Comedy Story Largo. Two very different experiences variances. So you see that same sort of forces you into the moment and you're always exploring and you're always curious how it's going to be so it's always exciting. But I love Improv. And I started an Improv as well when I started doing Santa by was like. There's no better feeling than feeling like you're sharpening soared as opposed goes to doing Tai Chi Taichi which you have nothing in your hands. And you're like but get me six other fellas with beards couple blue ribbons and again. Sounds like making fun of Improv. When I went Chicago it sounds like Chicago and then when I started doing Santa Cargo I was like my set list is in my pocket right now? It's it's like a security. I'm like Linus. I have security blanket in my pocket. Going these bets work and that was the transition. Would it. Sounds like that was similar for you going like I like having a craft. Something that I'm living and working it's like in the process of it is is great. Really Kinda like Brandon. Then how long has it been. Guess what you just won the G. G. Troth. What does that mean? Great guest if I get the ninety minner when I think it's been fifteen minute I mean mean. How long do you think we've been talking? I don't know that spider moment. I mean that cuts into when you through the juice on the wall. I know it feels feels like it's clean. I wouldn't say ninety minutes. This has gone very fast for me. keep going. You were done. That's kind of it. It's a process is the part that is both terrifying but also it's a relief you know when you take the pressure off yourself to be great at something My therapist said that's me once she was starting to press for something and I was. I get a lot of anxiety about that stuff. You know about saying something wrong long or being on the record and be or anything just the exposure the visibility is really tough for me and she was like. Are you comfortable being bad. Added this for a second. Are you comfortable not being an expert and I was like. Oh Yeah I should just focus on that I guess yeah the vulnerability. Yeah it's like you were saying with podcasts dude. I woke up this morning. Two sets last night. Stand up twenty years and I was like to see a I agree like I really had that feeling. It wasn't spoken didn't even articulate itself as a thought I just had a vulnerability hangover from doing standup ended up. Yeah sometimes the ones that haunt me are where I do have. I don't know something deeper comes out. And I'm afraid that I showed myself in a real way. Not In the way that even this podcast can feel controlled to me but in the stands. Sometimes something comes out. Maybe it's an interaction with the crowd route or something and you're like they saw me my dad and me. I love my dad. I'm just saying they saw the family and may they saw my pass. They saw the real me. The and for me. It's like they saw that. I've not actually funny or they saw a need or that's something for me to when you have two sets in one is soft and one's good you're like who was right and you're like hey you don't know until you're no stores its own beast and it was good. It's just like I've said this a million I in life maybe not on the potty go if people knew how I thought it should be going in my head they would think I was associated pal. Like yeah how hard I often say it. If I was in the audience I'd be losing my shit right now especially if I'm doing a job and it's not working as a good way to bring them back. Yeah but like it's also true. I'm like if someone did dry lime. I would be like the right choice and it's because what I was saying was when you see a lot of comedy then you can appreciate the choices that someone's making when you go to a city where there isn't isn't a lot of comedy you can feel that they're they can be a little bit more confused they let off a confusion Fairmont. That they're like what. Yeah when I'm like well if you saw Zombie go up as you said fourth and there were three other people and I'm not putting down dating material but they're talking about dating and then I go up and I'm talking about pirates. This is all fake examples. ables you'd see the novelty of my choices but if you don't know comedy or just like I don't understand no there's like an alchemy to it and with the audience as well and it's yeah can you like for example in at J. F. l.. We did our big sets in the. You know the Big National Auditorium. Yes yeah so I was in this room and I was like. I didn't say this to you guys but I was like fuck shit when I die faces it was in my son Jeff Singer. And you're like they're like there's eight hundred people here before and and I You know I am from a theater background. So that sort of level of people is not sue. It's less intimidating to me and also I think that my comedy scales to that. I do better in those settings than I do with like. You're in a basement and there's fifteen of us and it looked cool the venue. You could do radio city. That's a big problem but it's real or we're talking about mullany filling the space. I can see Brennan's canal feeling space and that is the theatricality Patrick. -ality of what you're doing. Thank you when you were doing. The ultra fast. I was like get this guy to the super bowl. It fills the space. And it's the small spaces that I get get more self conscious than or more aware of like the cracks in my material or the or that. I'm trying to overpower an audience instead of speaking speaking to them over the top of them right and so then our second show was at this like punk rock. Then you were bands play. That was in club Soda. Navy think there's one called in in Montreal and Just like basically bombed did you know and we watch watched ten people. I had watched crush all also sort of bomb. and Oh wow. It was almost like they had a set up like a punk to moment and was like remember how they will that went. That's what it's going to actually be. Yeah and Very Montreal and yeah it was Just to have both both tastes in in two days. It's like you have the one where you're like. Let's go out after then after the second one. You're like I'm flying wind tomorrow. Obviously you make the call on high. Can you fly right. I'll take to our different. That's fine just give me out sooner. Can you remember because you're fresh fresh in it as someone giving you great advice about Salem or comedy I'm trying to think of something. The first thing that comes to my mind there's a show Good heroin in Echo. Park Dave Dave Ross and Matt Engebretsen show and Etto and that was the first show. What did you say bleep leap it out whenever you plug something? I've just think that was the I kind of like I did that. Show pretty early in my. I did it within a year of starting getting to do Mike's and so but I had done that because Dave had seen me at this other show and he thought I was in town from somewhere and then at good heroin I I was like no I live here and he was like what like. Who are you but then after I did that show and felt so good about it and and then like He? I don't know what I'm trying to say here. What George went told me once fishing George went till we once that that it's all about the hang is what he told me? Oh well so there's a real yes he's right he says it's all about the hang. Don't forget the hang. And so that moment of hanging out with Dave Ross at could heroin and then afterwards you know it was like a bunch of comics. We all went to get drinks and they were all way they in my mind felt way above me and farther along than me and brought me into like you know just two drinks and I just felt really touch and like felt like a part of something in that there. The sense of it was just like hey brandon. Are you coming and I was like. Yeah I can come. Who who is George? Win thing is like my uncle. It was is one of those things where it's like. Oh you want to be want to be in Hollywood. My uncle's best friend is brother. Brother is George went. And so I'm going to set up a call with you and George and George Wendt called me on my phone when I was still living in Chicago and I was about to move. I'm GONNA cry this. This is ninety minutes into a podcasts. Always cry I. George went called me and he was just like So what you WanNa do and I was like I WANNA do comedy and he was just like I just remember like the most important part is the hang and it was like that's where all the both the connections happen but also like the friendships and also do you the way you like learned from comics and the nose comics help your set get better is like having friends who are calm. And it'll keep you from being depressed. Hopefully I I'm I'm sure it's depressed. Some people that the hang has been not what they wanted. I'm sure yeah but like for me I would. That's what Ashley was saying. She was like when I'm low and I'm hanging with Comics Green Green Room and I'm like fucking that's totally right and as someone who cast something now the number of times where you're like. I saw that guy. I like fucking nuts like just somebody was nice and funny. And you're hanging out everybody's a person stay in their consciousness a little. I bet that's why it's it can be tricky to not be in the city where all of us are like. I'd like to could skype in this job. But you sort of have to be like WANNA get noodles. Yes well when I first moved to. La like twitter is where the hang was. And it's where I met all of like my great great group of gay friends who are all kind of like gay twitter people. That's how I met them like. I made like a youtube video. And somebody re who had. I've been following me because I followed them re tweeted and then the next day somebody was like. Hey we're going to Akbar if you WANNA come. Yeah it's like I had like a gift exchange with him last night night and it's been like six years g beautiful and I really struggle with it. We're like your open heart like sometimes I like to be doing interviews about how fun it was to make it a show or something and I'll just be like just care about these people. Then that's where my mom comes in my because my my mom is an open heart and my mom cries it everything. My mom cries at the Olympics. Because the guy people try so hard and tried to American idol Klay was killing. It was like you get it you solitaire. It might have been but he was such a weird guy and he watched him. I'm getting getting allergic. But you watched him like kind of grow into supposed to man. got a pretty man and he started singing any was killing it and I was like yes. YEAH GATT hat makeup truck. Yeah going good shooting boys and then they were like there's also a stage over there klay if you'd like to do something for us Klay kickback on the shotguns too much. Maybe you'd like to sing solitaire. I think he ran for congressman or something like that did he. Yeah I don't like I don't like every part of show business breath now. I'm so happy for Jennifer Hudson. She's killing she is in cats and she gets memories good song. OMG she gets it. Did you cry. Yeah it was like all of a sudden pop into it and I'm like I used to be beautiful beautiful now. Have you had anything in your life that you can't explain. You said you've never seen a psychic which is fine of but ghost alien weird serendipity you go home you open the closet and there's the sock something like that how I wish I had some I. I should've thought of some no. You didn't have to think of anything you would know if you knew. Yeah I only ask because people are like yeah. I saw ghost two weeks. You're like I'm glad I have. This hasn't happened to me but I was in the room with her. My we went to Wales as a as a we went to London. And then Wales and then Dublin when I was in like eighth grade in this big trip with my school and so my parents came there. Were like I'm one of five so we're really big family. But I think three of us went and then my parents is came and We went to Wales and we stayed in like in a haunted hotel. You know right next to big graveyard and my sister. Welcome in the middle night. Says she saw a ghost and she was in the bed next to me and she wet the bed O. M. G.. Yeah she's a slime going through the bed. Sly You could have been like lookout. Yeah I I'm not. I'm not really like a supernatural person and I had this conversation with my mom over Thanksgiving where like I don't really think about God. I don't consider myself an atheist. 'cause I find atheists to be kind of exhausting. You know it's like how do you you you're basically doing the same thing. But on the other side well certainty. There's a lot of certain atheists I always like to represent Penn Jillette. WHO's a great atheist in my opinion and and he's like the whole thing is we? Don't know Penn Gillette. Who is gorgeous? You'll say on that stun GONNA learn ahead in Penn and teller gorgeous gorgeous heart right and he's a good looking man. What I'm saying is art is gorgeous? Because because he'll you'll get like There could be a man on a cloud in the sky. And he's like I believe in infinite possibilities that's what he says but he's like I don't think anyone knows. Yeah so he has the same problem with a run in the middle atheist as you do which is certainty anybody claiming that they know what's going on is offensive to Penn Jillette. And frankly to me. Yeah I don't I get really scared of style. I scare really easily locking scare jumping mike jumping onto my bed so that nothing grabs my ankles. But then I don't actually believe in any of it. It's an interesting. Is that part of why. You're you're maybe not that interested in religion because there's so much scary shit in there. I mean Catholicism is like pageant wreck doomed ooh. Why don't you want to join us? Brandon do to don't I mean it is pageantry. It is like this showmanship of it all. It's like just every priest is just okay. A narcissistic comedian without any jokes. Larry do you say that on stage areas. Now it's just like nobody keeping you in check because there's no laughter so you can really just do a lecture and not know how it did yes that was amazing amazing and everyone was like your new. ooh We'll catholicism so there's a there's like a pyramid of of a lot of Christianity where it's like you have the shepherd and then the flock doc and the flock has no checks on the shepherd and so there's this sort of speaks directly to God's Lake or speaks speaks to the pope who speaks directly to that makes it a really undemocratic yeah And so the board of elders whereas the pastor said something that they didn't agree with that's great you would have to answer to it. It is great until the board of elders wants you to be homophobic. which is what happens? Yeah I get. Get the feeling that the pastor of the church I grew up in like I actually have the secret feeling about a lot of people that are. I don't know why maybe it's just a fun fantasy Esi from me that they're more woke than they appear. That's just the fun thing that I like to believe that. I'm like if anybody is doing that. Much time praying and being quiet I I hope they are. They know that God's love is the most or whatever you WANNA call it is so liberal but then they h- sometimes have a board of elders going like but a man and a man has sex and there's no baby so so yeah and and then he has to be like all right so I I what I'm saying is I give them the benefit of the doubt and yet it's still sucks because yeah feel unwelcome going to church. Well I think a big component of whatever I have priest I think should feel is probably doubt just a constant out of because you I imagine in that position obviously asleep. So many of them are trash bag abusers but to speak to say your head of any sort of congregation I imagine that that comes with an immense amount of pressure. And if you are like a good person with like a soft heart you are giving people advice on their marriages on their careers careers on on your hearing sins. They did and trying to console them. And so that's the most empathetic pedic view of a priest. I could have just like that. Their trash a raging narcissist. Who are you know operating a cover up but US totally and you said doubt I? I've gotten into later in life Thomas Merton who was I forget as his sect. Let's go trappist doesn't matter. He said I was like a music. Yeah he's a trap. It's more chanting. He he said faith without doubt is absolutely worthless. He's like it's not the opposite of faith. It's like the most essential activating component is to go. Like what the fuck am am I talking about like. I don't know what I'm talking about. And then he sort of swing back into a moment of thoughtless without thinking equanimity. Where you just sort of like I think this is is all okay and then you go back like a piece of shit? Yeah on a toilet paper on a garbage barge. I don't know what's happening. Yeah I mean. People are searching for meaning so sometimes sometimes when like Comedians are doing bits that are like there's different types of you know how. How could God exists tight? Bits buy I envy them. Less than like how crazy the systems that we operate that belief within the more rife yes and they're so silly and like there's so many hats because God being an attempt to understand something that's ultimately pretty understandable is fine. It's just like a car. You get into drive around and go like I think. I think I'm getting a look at this. But when you look at the church itself or I don't really believe in astrology. But I'm so sick of standup bits. That are like my girlfriend's into astrology. That's like I'm like different. Take on this. I need like my girlfriend's into astrology so I decided to get really into it to see how it made me feel and I discovered either that it's bullshit because here's why or that. I decided that I am in Aires stories because and I'm more interested in that than I am interested in. Like what I I. It's just simply not interested in always the simplest take. I'm I'm so happy that you're out there doing stand up because that that's exactly what I want. That's exactly what I want. I'm so tired of just the most obvious thing being the thing and it's so much more interesting as art to go like that's what that made me feel or whatever. Yeah and I think it's terrible. I think also like depends where you're coming up right right. If you're coming up in the east side of Los Angeles like audiences are jaded an intelligent in certain in ways you know a lot of dummies around. But they're they're not they've seen the first take so they train for the second day. That's right but then you know you can get into a really deep route where you're like. I'm doing the sixth take. And then you go to Indiana and they're like hey we would have loved it the second. Yeah because you've done too many apps and we can't see where you did. Those are going to be just fine. Not that that's the point of this show but like it makes me happy. You're out there. I'm so glad what a great out there. What a great thing no? There's a lot of I'm touched that there's a lot of people like there's a lot of people that aren't like you though when I go to a club and I'm just like Jesus fucking Christ what is going on here. We need the second. Take do the second take. That's great standup advice. Do the second take so no formal feelings about God. What about the afterlife anything? Well I think we're all reborn as a new cat. The Land Jellicoe. Houston you just want to be Jennifer Hudson. That's yeah she doesn't get sent away away in a hot air balloon spoiler. ooh I don't know I just don't want to think about it that much but I also have been spared like Both my parents are still alive. And and so that sort of like existential question of like hasn't been brought up cat bringing a dead man and like Yeah I've kind of like have been very lucky. Yeah I know you like people go to towards that question when they're faced with it. Yeah that's true today. I'm like what a what a dumb topic because we're here and this is happening. That's what I like. One of my favorite things quotes about God. It's it's not Thomas Merton but it's the quote that Got Thomas Merton back into the churches that God is not a being God is being itself so this is is God that God is a word for whatever the fuck is happening and then when you start getting into the narcissism of what's going to happen to me when I die. That really is a narcissistic trip. Instead of what I like about astrology is that it considers the universe is one thing meaning when the stars were aligned. In this this position the earth was doing this thing and whether or not that's true it can sort of hint you towards the idea that is not you walking through a space space. It's you as an apple on a tree. You are the product of a whole. And that's what I like about is you're saying the earth and the universe at this time was doing this sort of thing for that moment and there's a lawfulness to it and that's what Taoism is. That's what a lot of things into his image just saying like wake up. It's not about about you. It's one thing thing itself. Relax it's all in the game. That's where I had with the the basically the only real time I've done a lot of mushrooms was I was. I just basically sat there and felt connected to the like eons of generations. Did my past past where I'm like. You know my mom. My Mom's mom like my grandfather like Ireland like all the way back when just feeling generations and generations that like you are not like your life has meaning because you exist because you so you so easily couldn't have right and being itself is the miracle we're waiting for something else to happen but the fact that we're talking and hearing and looking and feeling it's fucking insane and when you think about it like that it's almost like a hermit crab dropping shells. Your grandfather was a shell but the hermit crab the being moves onto the next generation. And say it's a strand is sounds sounds like mushrooms but it's like it's like a roll of toilet paper that you roll around the floor and every square is another person but it's all yeah one roll of toilet thousands and one thousand millions of years to what you know you made it weird. That's right and the real trip. It's not as your roll of toilet paper. The whole thing is one big paper towel roll and I think narcissists can see that and be like. So how do I make as many tendrils going forward. And that's how you have like you know. Doctors who are fertility doctors IM- putting their own semen and women getting. Oh yeah yeah all of a sudden and it's like this doctor has who was a doctor has two hundred children. Wow Quiver full indeed dark. I've been Brennan's canal. I quit for for this is quiver full say pendulum gorgeous. You said this done I I want new ones and now I have done done done can have it. I want it did you. Is that a thing. That's just the thing Stein it's done God. Someone's like and there's no cheese in IT stunned. Sometimes I come here to pick up. Little philosophical quips or whatever and today I got a much better give. It is Christmas indeed brandon. Where can people? What are you doing? I know you just did these shorts that I watched with fantastic. Yeah I did some comedy central sketches with really bad one. It's funny I don't do that L. Into Youtube. It's like the first. Yes it's right there and I I do this Netflix. Show called bonding. So that out love it need. I need it and your name. All the SOC be scan on instagram and Brennan's Canal on twitter need it And at the end we have the guests. Say the catch phrase which is keep it crispy keep it. crispy stunned stunned. I loved it exit so Oh crispy crispy.

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David Weissman

Two Broads Talking Politics

20:52 min | 1 year ago

David Weissman

"Hey, everybody. It's Travis acres. The tweeter formerly known as top row. Traffic's you're listening to two bras talking politics with my friend, David on tonight. You're gonna love tonight's episode. Enjoy. Are you lonely? Heavy one. This is Kelly with two prods talking politics and joining me today is David Weisman. Hi, david. Thank you for having me on. Yeah. Much food. So eating me. So David has the unusual. I think distinction of being perhaps the very first person on this podcast who used to be a Trumper. So let's get into that a little bit. I wanna I'm interested in hearing your your story. Maybe we could start with sort of. Whoa. What's your background? You know, what what how'd you grow up in what sort of political ideas? Did you have growing up? Okay. Sure, I'm originally from Queens, New York, and I ain't came from conservative home, religious home. And so that's why I ain't got a lot of my values from women upbringing, and I wasn't always political as soon as high school. I went to army the army for many years and army, you're not really a lot of hawk about politics. So I really got involved in all things after when I got out I actually in Israel for. Any errors made intuition and returns, Israel and saw how important politics was. And I kinda went off. I knew what my beliefs were. And you know with war on terror and all that stuff. You know, got me in considering the feel beginning and not really developed a lot of Hughes on, you know, different groups like Muslims or not a lot different craziness. And I in the bad part about that was which I realize now when I when I tell you more about my journey, you know, I never really went and researched out outside, you know, my own skull and and last year a writer how that started. I post a lot on when I was when I had a Facebook post. My ideas, my thoughts, and you know writer like when I had insane. So I started writing and I again running thing bobbins. Oh, Bob his presidency during his term. So yeah, it was very anti Obama. And basically what I started watching. It is five. That's why I started watching, you know, hold on in the world and a lot. When a lot of Facebook groups are conservative, and I you know, it was raining and saying, you know, it was really, you know, and I never really had a chance to talk with no roles people phase or different backgrounds like chain team community or black lives matters. You know, very close minded one thing about my parents. I mean, I love them. They're awesome. Parents know, never really talk about politics. Anyone playing since I've ended up as writer. Yeah. So that's my background team from growing up and military, and like, I guess concerned writer. So before the twentieth sixteen election than you were, you know, very conservative in Jewish actually like where the maga- Hatton and. Sort of believe a lot of the stuff that was being pushed about Hillary Clinton. Yes. I I lay the the Email stuff. And you know, I I'm playing all that. I mean, when you're in a lot of these Facebook groups, you know, these scrums and even meanings remember conservative, there's like almost hatred horn Sony Clinton, you know, and and President Obama, and you know, and I'm seeing, you know, once I find the democrat liberal, I you know, I went I actually went back and researched everything, you know, went back on yours and wrong smoking in from that too. But I I in the whole Email thing and causing all of that stuff and ignorantly, I I knew Trump was famous, and I knew you had a lot of businesses. What I never actually took time to know research. Just false is history has you know, L years, and you know, I've. Always watched. Fox's for some years. Now, you know watched Haning hunker, and you know, so many other infiltrative outlets. And I always felt that they weren't telling the truth. You know, that's what I knew. I mean, you know. Wow. And I I mean, they really main ov- I'm gonna be in the Spag. I, you know, Hillary Clinton to me this bag, I and ignorantly I believe it and Trump saw that. And he had soon which I mean, he ran with it which health and got him into the presidency. And you know, I felt read I I thought that he was asleep like half in America. And you know. Yeah. You know, I don't watch about immigration as far as like seeking asylum or there's so many things into it. No. I just fall concerning talking point of, you know, we need waters, we need a wall. And I you know, that's my foreign and I really thinks outside the box of pet. So then what what was the moment that changed her mind was that after the election? What happened was? No. Yeah. I I was I was a Trump supporter, and you know, couple of years, you know, offending him on after anyone that you know, went after him. I was in a lot of what our Twitter grim, sue and Trump supporters on Twitter. And that's when I really got into think of it at all anytime, you know, when Trump mentioned about a person, you know, go out and say, hey, and in this day, and you know, what happened to him. You know, you know, why aren't you liking Trump? You know, you're lying from. He's like, you know, you use all these things and all that time, and it was awesome time work and seven being chance closely involved with actually happening, and I and I kinda went after people, Sarah Silverman. And Stephen Colbert saying I used the phone thing. We're in that no not Seattle during Trump's not seen. So I like Hanes wondering how come track more how come they're not banned from Twitter with her propaganda aimed towards from. And normally when you you know, when when you're on Twitter as Trump supporter, you any blocked or inordinate by celebrities and simple, and Sarah than you know, really caught me off arch actually replied, you know, she's splaine what Hollis humor was you know, how comedy subtractive and all that. And okay. And you know, I I realize trashing applied kinda really threw me off guard. We when you're as Trump's supporting your sleaze to, you know, Rennie friends hang renting, you know. Toll people slowing, you know, we're talking, and I'm starting to talk to liberals and people, and and I and for some reason I had thought of wondering why do you know, fun in my hand canes listening? Why do liberals lanes things, you know? Conservatives have is narrative Kratz liberal Stanford. And one of talking points was willing to ping one. That really got to me like why does crafts care more about, you know, quote, unquote, illegal aliens than the military. You know? Yeah. That ignorant. That's that's the research that one of my own. So some reason something came over me, and I signed it asked Sharon, that's she's when liberals, you know, actually engaged 'cause informed that we actually had paint about Trump. I asked her why she didn't like him. She told me why should she didn't like him? I told him on her why I like them 'cause I had no intention of me coming democrat or anyway, support at all. And so I actually about you know, so how come you know, care more about legally and military, she she responded in that. And she's sending in factually inclusive actually in clashes care about immigrants as well. As goal Terry. And. And she explain how United saints immigrant nation. And and there's so many laws that actually support thinking Silom singing Lincoln a lot of people aren't coming in country. You know, what you know notes on fell? And when she responds lot of her supporters respond, and I'm actually engaged with her followers winter. And I learned a lot about how you know, they're immigrants who are not citizens between the US military. And I was kinda surprised. I mean, you never hear stuff like that on FOX for crtv or a place, you know, actual immigrants were not citizens. You know, came in the conservatives concerned illegally in the United States military, and some of them are more important, and you know, and I've seen myself how they important immigrants will strengthen our country. And I've really learned a lot of a lot of them out of her. Her followers were showing articles Fags that I had knowing at were you know, that was really going on. And they show me how a lot of you know, a lot in the pants. But those happened is all coins linga, porn adventuring. It's not you're not in trumping open walls, like, you know, like pucker Carlson says or probably Lorraine, you know, but actually going through. That. And and time is any know any also how was crafts that I train it and GI Bill, and I had no idea, and they told me different things Democrats on military and. When I someone I was that was fun. I thought so myself. Okay. Conservatives from wrong about that. Why are they wrong about abortion on they wrong over eighteen and I started asking more questions, and, you know, important Washington poor twice, and it's not knowing somebody wants, and no matter how you in how progress which you know, they don't want that. But, you know, anything about the life on a child what be like, you know, Athar pregnancy. And you know, Matt never pot on me. So you know, you think about that. You know, you hear conservatives saying, oh, and you don't care about the unborn care worn. Okay. So how didn't care after they're pregnant, you know. Woman was rain for you know, in bad situations how they care about that. You know, how they have child, you know, and they don't think about nothing about the things that stuff. I haven't talked about the media, and I was blown away responses. And I didn't realize that makes sense. I mean, the only wants sometimes, you know, when worse. I'm trying to find the right where 'cause I don't such varying countries I'm trying and I realized why it happens. And you know, I started questioning Warren question question question, and, you know, ill income control someone progressive s Harris in another. They don't wanna come into thinking. It's like concern to say, no, they don't make sure people were not since I have a women shouldn't have weapons, which makes sense. And you know, people civilian should not have military style weapons. And you know, actually, and I learn new actually read the fine print on the constitution and says, well, regulated militia and conservatives tendency, Hank right to bear arms, and they don't read the fine print. So I I said, I wouldn't pack research everything, you know, you unprecedented upon Hillary Clinton wanted a publicly that where demonized, you know, like the media, and you know, I. Assuming this to happen to me and one, you know, when it came supporting Trump when I was interacting with lots of Democrats, liberals, Trump supporters were seeing this and they had a problem with that. A lot of clashes from them. You know, call me. Oh, he's trainer all of you know, so many insults. And I guess the best way to put it, you know, it really is like call his when you're in there. And you see how you're hurting people when you tact or not supporting Trump, and I you know, I felt was like, and it was like, you know, out of trance. You know, if I make sense to you. Yeah. I find that very interesting that when you started to explore all these issues that it it. It's almost like a domino effect. Like it led from one issue to another. And you know, I think a lot of us think like, you know, maybe we could just convince people not to like Trump. But I think there's a a communist option that it would be very difficult to get someone to change their views about everything, you know, to go from being a Republican to a democrat, maybe the old sort of side with us in a certain election. But that we can't actually change their minds. And it sounds like what you're saying. Is that, you know, for you, at least in this always an individual thing that in fact, sort of opening your mind, let you open your mind to all sorts of different issues. In fact, -ly and keyhole thing about it. As far as coming in temocratic was how originally I had no intention of which incites, but Sarah, someone weren't talking about me speech for the football players who are protesting, the, you know, the anthem and playing, and I hung more research into that. And as concerned, it's only like free speech, free speech. You know? But it seemed like it was for what they had to say what they had of Aleve, and I'm not saying all of that. But it seems like Ventura of do, and then you know, what I really look when it and everything, and you know, what free speech should be for any American matter. What youn- green or dissipating? And you know, I when I turned off ox, and I see the world around me as he wants on. I mean came friends with on Twitter in this winter women's March Leaney's, and a lot of activists worth more, you know, in the community, and you know. I seen this. Nothing's going on there. You know, the police brutality. And I couldn't believe it is conservative as always things pointedly supporting. In senior videos, and how they treat him like community you in women, and you know, and I was shot. I mean in almost like Iran, Star Trek. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. You know, you know, how have alternate universe right thing. How and that's what I mean really feels like that. I mean, I mean, I'm still processing 'cause I've been I was gonna say activists with so many years. And I mean, I know when you really can't just want motion, you know between. But I mean, I'm seeing all this stuff that's going on in our country. And it's like, it feels like point from country from what you know, what anything, you know, concern is always present act like victims, you know, the white team more and think things, you know, a lot of nonsense. You see? No, that's not what reality. That's what's going on. And you know, I can't why celebrities use platform and try to open people's eyes, and so many of us and change and when I really into that. At paper, Nick story. When Sarah on that, Shannon Cornyn, you know, pains Twitter friends, and she appreciated how I was learning from them, you know, about this course, when I log, and when she did that that was when the moment where I let my own wall. Now, you know, my own homes money, you know, went away. And that's when I really get even doing more and learning about Muslims and a lot of them are really cool people. They're not Paris inside of hateful ideology, like say. And I'll learn about the opening teen, you know, who are trans. And you know, all that stuff. And wow, I mean all acting Ashton for acceptance and equality, you know, why he's such pad thing. You know? I think it's you know, I can't why craft spiting waiting do and make sense to me. And I'm exhausted. I'm princeton. And I kind of you know, all them probably use. And you know, I'm I'm planning to about more in this fight, you know, for them and insert even an amazing journey. From what I used to when I now definitely suits. You. Do you think it's possible to reach other conservatives what what would be sort of your recommendations for for how we try to to reach out to people and show compassion, and maybe be able to open some mines. Patients on a lot of it is hard headed people expecting them. Only our and once abeline telling your side evily about trying to convince them like what Sarah did. And appreciate this course, and Sheldon facts to cause facts important snapped me. That's what I mean. Like, I said, I I see how two different narratives from concern of Indian media around the world. And then when I got to pack lash from the Trump supporters, I I saw how they and Trump in from each other. And I saw how Trump is raining. The vices always training people in people. And I really, you know, Nestle came in one thing, that's how it how it is. But you know, money is doing this such demeaning way. And then I said I went back and recent so many things I when you know what I saw how he has connection with Russia set Ramia in so many different things that was kind of blown away by that soon. I'm like, and, you know, wanting to creative all emergency with a government shutdown, and you know, so many different things how harming people and was like, you know, I had no I had enough. And you know, I think he's wrong when the country, and I think he should be a PHD personally. And so now, you're actually, reg. Democrat. That's correct. I'm officially registered democrat for New York state kitchens. Is there anything else that that? You wanna make sure we talk about? The people who are going to call me along the way, I just wanna say thinking soon, I guess, and it wasn't just that I learned from I learn from so many different people. So many conversations helped me think for myself, and I actually appreciate it will being patient with me and in frigging too. I mean, a lot of people game from my my trolling. Here's former Trump supporter. So I'm grateful for that. Crete's will in. Thank you so much for being so open about your story. I think it's it's really good for people to hear. I know, you know, it's very easy on both sides disorder demonize people on the other side. And and recognizing the journey the that you went through I think really helps was be more empathetic to to people who are still supporting Trump and still being conservative. So I I really appreciate that you're willing to to be so open and laid that out for everyone. I really appreciate your hair my screen to thinking impatient. Rights and will link on our website to your Twitter feed and your pieces in the forward. So people can can see a little more about Ewing can connect with you and continue to have those conversations. Thank you so much. Thanks for listening to two broad talking. Politics are song is called. Are. You listening off of the album elephant shaped trees by the band, EMU Newry, and we're using it with permission of the band our logo and other original artwork is by Matthew Westland and was created for use by this podcast.

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ACS (Part 1): Adam, Gina, and Bryan

The Adam Carolla Show

00:00 sec | 1 year ago

ACS (Part 1): Adam, Gina, and Bryan

"Thanks for listening to the Adam Corolla show on podcast one custom ink. Bring your company school club team or family together with custom apparel and excess raise the Corollas do during the big reunions. We have every year easy to use website. You can use their designers. Use your designers. Either way come up with something. Cool. Customink has designers. If you like if you want to use them, hundreds of customizable products, like heavy duty work where moisture wyking shirts hats. Hoodies coolers and more with your logo on it. You can do a group order form you can get matching year with friends and family, no matter where they are around the country around the world just share your design online, and everyone can place individual orders special offer ten percent off your next order for full details and to start design. Signing. Customink dot com slash Shannon. We get the ten percent off brings people together. Customink at the ten percent off at customink dot com slash atom. Wouldn't tracking the domestic dust bunny? You come to find them hiding under wardrobes next to lost socks due to sudden scurry off what's ugly fascinating about the dust bunny is that although they're not actually sent creatures when they have not only saves people money, but also has ninety seven percents customer satisfaction rating. It's obvious to them. You should switch because. Yes. Switching to gyco is a no brainer. Ono is the is only natural predator on the lung dust on his run along. Corolla drinks proudly presents Adams monthly not. One five dollars. You get one. Favorite stuff brought up. Ever seen going month? You get the break. Choose it's hard to. Cool. This month ship and includes a collection of all thirty two banks bracket madness songs because spies plan from Gina grad ourself, assigned copy of one of Adam's favorite movies of all time, defending your life. Plus a bottle from Corolla drinks sign up today for twenty five dollars and get one month or keep the shipments coming so prep, your males box and get ready for Adams monthly nut. From Corolla one studios in Glendale, California. This is the Adam Corolla show with Gina grad on news and ball Brian on sound affects. And now. To him every day is mother's day. Adam karol? Yeah. Get it on two. Did it on a church Magor mandate? Get it on thanks for sharing. Thanks for telling a friend day. Gina grandview bald. Sit you ass down. All right. Let's see had a little bit of breakthrough yesterday or Sunday night. I should say at the comedy store, which was I've been making this my. New Year's resolution go out and do stand up. And I think there's a little issue in life, which is whether it's a restaurant a movie New Year's resolution going out doing stand up a relationship. Where's have kind of expectation? It's it's not an expectation. It's kind of construction of what it she'll be like what shall this sushi restaurant be like, which Elvis movie be like what what shall this person? Be like I mean are acting with. And when it doesn't go the way decided it should go. It seems off pudding like talk about half the movies. I see. Nations. And it's like, oh by maybe nothing about it. It would be better. But you're weight always. Yeah. It's always better. It's always better when you know, nothing about it. But also, I think you have that when you're like dealing with people on the other side of the counter at the airport, you know, at the at the delta thing, and they're coming at you in a way that seems different than, you know, the time I did the Alaskan airline bag check at some point. I got out of the airport the terminal check gate. It was a gay check. And I didn't know it was a gay check. And we went all the way through the thing. And I was saying to the guy at Alaskan who's like the help desk, and the basically the lobby of the of the I guess we're in Seattle. I'm trying to think anyway. My expectation was that I was going to say to him. My bag is back at the gate on the other side of security, and then he was going to say, I'm sorry for the confusion. Mr. Corolla, we value you as a customer. Let me phone ahead to my friend, Johnny who's at the gate in hill. Run it to us. Yeah. Sorry for them convenience. Instead, he said. So do you still have your porting pass? And I was like no he's like you don't have your boarding pass. And I was like now I I don't have it because I'm done with the flight and he's like. Like use grid. But how do I get the how do I get back? I'll issue a temporary boarding pass for the plane that already land. He's like. Yup. And I'm like, but then how do I get now? Picturing something else. Okay. I guess I just get on a golf cart. And we go through some secret secret entrance to the game. He's like skidding security like a big long line. He's like do what else are we gonna do? And so my expectation of how that exchange was going to go with was much different than how it went right on that. And I think they're versions of that that exceed what you what your expectations are it happens. But there's others that oftentimes aren't. So when I started doing stand up, I started just going out, and I had a picture my head like I'm going to get up there. It's going to be like that scene or Sally fee. Fields wins over the crowd punch. Now, I hear comedians talking about how the scene is really hopping out here in L A, and the crowds are roaring. Everything's great. And. I'm going out there and the clubs are half full. Maybe and cloudy and seems pretty lacklustre and. My dad's out there yelling for me to get off the stage. And I'm also kinda also like going that feeling you'll get a little bit of it too. Which is it's like you're you're a big league game baseball game. And you're watching these guys and you go oh man put that bat in my hand, and let me get up to home plate. I'll show these guys how how how it works. And then you get up there and couple of fast balls, go whizzing by you're like, oh seems a little difficult. It's a little more difficult than I anticipated. You know, 'cause you think you're good athletes. You can handle this game show. Yeah. Yeah. It's a real version. We've all been through like high school, dances or proms. You know, you're you're like, oh, it's going to be decked out and streams everywhere in a band. But it's now it's your gym or it's what's the hotel ballroom. And it's you know, it's there's a few people that if you flyers. But it's it's it's very under. It's not pretty in pink is not succeed candles built more than ten. Underwhelms? John Hughes movie. It's your prom. Right. And so I was like going out there and go the ice has it'd be like eighteen people audience, and like they'd laugh at some of the jokes, but not all of them. And it was like it was fine. My thing was I'm gonna just go through this process anyway, and then at some point. They said, oh, man. The comedy store, that's that room hopping. You gotta get out to the comedy store. It's going off over there. And so I started doing Thursdays at the ice house. And then Sundays at the comedy store. And then I went out to the comedy store on a Sunday. And it was night one of game of thrones. And Coachella was going on. I showed up and it was the comedy store, and they're like they're like. It was the main room. There was probably forty people there. And again, it was like I thought this was popping. And it's like now here not beyond. Yeah. And I was like, okay. Well, what is this thing? I had my mind getting out there and making it happen, and everyone laughing and all that kind of stuff. And now I started in January now we're getting into may. And this the stuff, although the effect is good. The fact is working out and putting a lot of different material on its feet, and blah, blah, blah, these sort of magical nights wherever everything's everything's poppit and hop it really experiencing that but then on Sunday night. It's like going to comedy store and. I think Sarah silverman's on the Bill, and it's also weird because I don't know if I'm going to see Sarah Silverman there or how it's going to work. I haven't seen her in a while. And I show up the places packed the place is completely packed neighbor. Come in. And now there's that moment of like, wait a minute. I was going to get up there. And try some junk out with renowned puck slip because nobody cares. And now the places full. Jewish for. What do we do and Sarah Silverman is a great San of comedians going on before me? And then she's going to bring me out. And I'm like, oh boy now the yeah. Because what you ask for it. So anyway. Talked to Sarah for while in the green room had a nice conversation with her. She went out and did a great job. Although again, if you're if you're in the green room, it's kinda hard to tell exactly what's going on on says you can hear laughs bleeding through. You don't know what the materialists and then she brought me out. And it was a great night. And I and I gotta say it was like so what it was. I started in January of of done this, you know, eighteen times, and the nineteenth time was the gray and night, you know, and so who the hell knows. And why would you even think any other way of it? And the point is there's what you have in your head in terms of the expectation. And then there's what is and you should probably I'm not saying adjust your expectations. I'm just saying be tried to remove the expectations and just embraced apart. Which is. I'm going to go. I'm going to work out. Like, I'm going to I'm going to wall up this heavy bag, and I'm gonna work out real hard and maybe couple of hot chick. Stop like, it's one of those acts commercials and stare at me while I'm whacking on this heavy bag and look super attractive to me open air boutique gyms, right or maybe nobody does anything, and I just get the benefit from wagging on this heavy bag, but don't go into it with the print that. Rick seventy three I think he's from Atlanta ice. I remember I rate in Vegas. Okay. Rick tastic. Hey, everybody. Actually Adams, alternate universe. Dad? Calling in with his birthday coming up. Oh, yeah. Negative for next week. I wanted Cina and Brian in the latkes and the audience. How pro is mother and I are of him. And to knowledge his accomplishments. Let him know much we loving how har- than the great head. He's a great son to us husband. They love. We love to get together on those Wednesday night every week for for dinner. I mean, it's just it's wonderful Abbas done like wreck. Thank you you dad. I mean, dad. To how far you from road. Atlanta to add I may sleep over. Well. We got four bedrooms and four bass. But it's about a thirty mile tricks. Not not close enough. But you know, we still got that offer his mother activities, including the triple seven simulator. Yeah. Out here. You know, I talked to Katie Lang or whatever that guy's even. Yeah. Yeah. My college. But you know, realize that crystal brain syndrome realize that you're reading skills, you know, we're kind of collision between have thoughts. And can I say this? We were worried when you're younger. But somehow if angst dad, dad, all right? Hey, dad. Yeah. But now now come on. We're very proud. Thanks. I mean, dad from Atlanta. It's very it's very healing. I appreciate it. Where's he needed to hear? My dad, I dunno exceeding expectations. I don't know. My dad my dad's like eighty eight and the last time we talked we I I was in his house, and he was like. This. He said look at the bathroom lives in a miniature house. He said look at the bathroom, and I looked at his bathroom. And he's like, what do you think we could do in here? Can we like tear out these walls and Bubba? So here's what I'm saying. He doesn't like his bathroom, but he's he's powerless. Could we do he can't do anything? He can't was like looking at like, you're eighty eight you're going to do your first remodel. I mean, he's not going to do it. But I'm saying he's never lived in a house where they did the kitchen or the bad doom the bed Rovers never done a thing. He doesn't like it that way he doesn't like the way the bathroom, but he just lives in the house with them at your bathroom that he doesn't like in. That's it. It's a weird powerlessness. That drives me nuts. That's why always kicking everyone in the but going go get it. Go doing knock it out go deal with it and even say, all finance it. But you have to do the legwork. Yeah. I was my that was my old one that's off the table. Okay. No. Ever gonna do anything with his bathrooms is going to die in this miniature little house with crappy bathroom, he doesn't like I don't I have no idea. Why people are wired that way, especially when they want it. They want something different. They want a better different bathroom. They can't do it. And we're also living in a world where every time you turn on the TV there's some Home Depot commercial where like talking about redoing it, and it has to be something that you're aware of. But you have to be aware of it. Right. That's that's a lesson. We should all hope to impart and like our children. Anyone who listens to us, which is be nonetheless the ability. This are the town skill the ability to put your dreams or goals, or whatever it is into motion. You know what I mean the ability to act on your goals? Everyone has goals. Everyone has dreams hopes to act on them. That's what has I don't even. I would bring the bar down from hopes dreams or. Or even goal to. If you think if you have a thought and your thought is. I Mike car doesn't have air conditioning. I would like to drive a car with air conditioning or my bathroom was weird and small and not laid out correctly. I would like nice new modern looking bathroom that was much more ergonomic. If you have a thought if your thought is this is what I would like then you should again. It's not like I want to be the first violence and the Phil for Monica. I'm gonna play center field for the Yankees, just like move toil. I don't like the way my bathroom was laid down. Okay. Let's see if six months from now, I would be in a bathroom that I like if I'm bark on this journey today. It's pretty straightforward or you just never do it. Yeah. And then there's those who do do it just do it all day every day a million, and it's always accompanied with the worst sound on earth. That's side that passive aggressive side that you can't do anything about. So that'll anyway, dad will never get data. Go the grape, Nora Nora. Oh, right. Let's see. Yes. You did something that might be the most people pleasing thing I've ever done in my life. Hear that new front runner. Real quick. I was coming out of Ralph. And I was on the phone with my mom and a red Nissan came. I'm I don't know four inches away from my kneecap and almost screeched on the brakes involuntarily, I freak out. Oh my God. Jesus christ. And everyone kind of stares at me. And I was like kind of waved to her and moved on with my life because it really scared me, and she comes up to my car. She drives up to me, and she's crying. She's an older lady. She of course, she has the handicapped placard on her window. She's crying lady. I'm so sorry. Lady miss. I'm so sorry of society. The sun was in my eyes. So I now I'm getting upset. It's mother's day. She's older. She's probably a mom is not what you wanted to other day. I go over there. I go, ma'am. I'm fine. It just scared me, everybody's fine. And the more I say that the more upset she's getting. So I look, and I'm joking. I'm like, I'm sure you didn't plan on having a heart attack on mother's day's. Let's all take a deep breath. She she rolls her window down. I grab her hand. And like, ma'am, it's okay, I'm fine. She still crying. I let go of her hands. I back away from the car like two feet, and I start doing a jig like a dance. Look, look, zinc. If I wasn't fine. She finally starts laughing. And she goes longer way of training. Titan comforting almost killed me in the parking lot. It might be my new mothers. Good. Thank you, literally dancing. A jig. Are you guys with me that? I don't like it. When people turn their their bad into an overreaction in which case, you have to shift all the onus from whatever they did to try to comfort them for them almost killing you or screwing something up. It's it's not fair. There's such there's a real fine line between sorry won't happen again. And you must comfort me and tell me what I did wasn't so bad and that I'm a good person. Because now it's this weird. This kind of reverse narcissism earth. Like the victim is now comforting the aggressor because they're over there. Overdoing it on themselves. All right. I got Luca call to talk about max patta. Do you got? We got our clip got aren't prepared clip anywhere. Is that is that on the list? Whereas thing we have already here. Okay. But you should put it on your list of eighteen things on the screen. If you got it, right? Okay. Because we've got so many things on my screen that that's not on it. I'm assuming it's something wrong. Like, it's not ready like that. In the life advice mode. I was at Luca cult. I don't even know I'm saying, right? Just means air cooled there something and in German. They do this event every year where they have all these air cooled Porsches only poor shows only air cooled Porsches there are water cooled Porsches, but these are all air cooled Porsches. They I don't know how anything works. They get six thousand people to go to this event. They cap it at six thousand people there's no bans. There's no meet and greet with Mario Andretti. There's no anything there's just Porsches heart somewhere and people walking by the Porsches milling about just milling about the back lot there the back. It's the back. Lot of universal. They had it. They had it this year at the back lot. And again, there's no schedule. There's just there's some there's some taco trucks. There's a beer garden, and there's music playing through speakers. There's no live bands. There's no talks. There's no raffle. There's no schedule. It's just like ten AM to three and they do it once a year, and they sell six thousand tickets, and it's capped at six thousand six hundred people show up just to walk around their peers. All right. Max Pam, I'm guessing you have a picture my car somewhere in that that that pile. Oh, that's cool. So they asked for my car to to be there. And and there there was I think Porsche may be buying this whole festival now the thing that's diabolical about it is they don't pay you. And they don't pay for your transportation, everyone brings their own car. And they just charge the six thousand people come look at your car and everybody keeps participating everyone keeps -ticipant because at a certain point. Then you want your car to have that in its history. I guess, but anyway, as I understand it Porsche owners are like the most cultish now v most you couldn't do that someone with Jay you couldn't get like. You couldn't get like a Mercedes thing can get six people show up Mercedes owners, for example, or Alexis or whatever no nothing exact same thing. But the owners are. The portion guys have their own called you couldn't get six thousand people that go do that for look you couldn't do it for Lamborghini asked. Couldn't do it for Ferrari. I mean, they have a following. But not this kind of following an also, I don't even know the six thousand people even I don't know what percentage of even own a Porsche. I think they just want a lot of them. Just want to come out pushed a stroller and have bring the kids and some beer and walk around. So that was a good event. And so my my message of the day is get a Porsche get a portion. I've I've told people all the time throw party at your house once a year it forces you to get your ship it forces, you to clean up your house that that basket in the front entry hall with all the junk in it that you don't need or whatever the business cards and the pennies. You just you start sorting. You throw a Christmas party at your business. Once you forced to go round and start tiding up cleaning up organizing, whatever that is. I like to have. Dates? I like I like like they said, hey, can you bring your portion of Luca cult? And I was like well when is it, and they're like it's going to be the weekend of may may eleventh or whatever was as well the car's all taken apart now. So that's in two weeks because we're redoing all the geometry for this expansion the whole thing was taken apart. And so now we had a hard line. Like we had this this line of. Here's what we're doing. Here's when we're doing it. Let's go if it's always just net if it's a floating date if it's always just just kick. The can just kick the can. Most people don't like I think give and then give yourselves little dates like the whole the whole time in life. Just give yourself a want this done by this thing. And it's a way to. Fool yourself into getting things done or the word isn't fool yourself. But it's mean like all all order stuff online. And I'll go once that stuff coming in they'll go Wednesday. Okay. I want it done by Friday. Why no reason just lots of little incentives are little milestones ago done by blam you impose deadlines yourself. Yes. I think I'm supposed to be done by whatever day great. That's great headline. I'm wondering, I'm kinda wondering do you think? Like, I don't know. What percentage have people have imposed New Year's resolutions on themselves? I'm not a New Year's resolution fan. I'm a fan of people thinking about it like I on your radar. I know a lot of people that have no thoughts about it. And it's like why don't you have thought about losing ten pounds or being bring on time or just whatever quitting eating dessert for a period of time or whatever it's like, don't why don't you have self-improvement thought to me? It's just a sort of thought experiment, and again, I don't I don't think it's like a cross. I don't think it's a cross the board. But I do think I kinda separate people into folks that have New Year's resolutions. Even if they don't even if they fail and those who have no thoughts just never a thought. And I wonder if the people who do New Year's resolutions also imposed those timelines like that time grade. I'll do I think anyone will do it when you're like like if I'm on the rowing machine and it gets to going to get to thirty minutes on the rowing machine. Like last ten seconds. Gotta get it over thirteen thousand RPM just weird clock. Yeah. Everything Certa clock time numbered. Here's how long. Yeah. Is that those milestones? A little goals. It helps you get larger goal, and it feels good. It's a little bit selfish because you you can feel that much more accomplished in a day when you're basically doing the same thing putting like accomplishable things little things on your to do list or those goals because once you check those, oh, it's like momentum. Exactly. Oh. Mexa patta somebody somebody tweeted me Garcetti at USC with his commencement address. Or whatever it was. And I was laughing about it because he he so off. He's here's what I'm saying. I'm sure our our mayors the nicest guy in the world, but this isn't the guy you want solving homeless traffic problems or congestion crime. It's not he's not that guy. He's the guy you'd want to watch your kids. If you're going to go kick the tires on some local Kabun, and you're thinking about moving in with your lady, this is the guy you'd want coming over in hanging with your nine year old while you're out of town for two days, but not the guy you'd want solving a traffic problem who it just just this like just simple things like this just the simplest things. It's happened. We've all had that thing. It happens when you come home from the comedy store, and there's like one of those left turn EROs that's going up Highland or LeBron or whatever it is. And you're going down Franklin. But that thing where you're sitting there in the aero turns green in your eleven cars back, and I swear to God. You don't move for a long period of time. Now, you could move like a chain. Meaning the first person could just go, and everyone could just could just simultaneously like like if everyone just went arrow green. Now, everyone goes simultaneously. But I mean, you just sit down, and it's like, okay, I'm physically not moving and it's been some time. That's not about widening the roads that's not about more legislation. That's it's not about technology. It's it's sort of a general wariness K everyone up here. Here we go go. Here we go. Everyone goes I I had a guy. That person who didn't go into the intersection and the light cycle and the person Adam and they never went out. And then it just turned red. And we all just waited again like. How much of this is that like how much of it's just bad inefficient. Just I still just over where I live like. On foothill by where I live. I've driving sunny back from basketball game or something. And there was piles of cars going the other direction and sure enough somebody somebody's bumpers had made contact in the left lane. And the guy was out of the car and the traffic just went all the way back five blocks your car's fine, just pull over pull over don't get out in the middle of the street and start talking to people about or just about the chicken ship cops like sometimes driving home. It's like a bunch of traffic. Where'd all this traffic? I'm from oh guy. A cop CHP pulled the guy over by the side of the freeway, and everyone's like rubbernecking get off the fuck it freeway just make a policy you pull somebody pull someone over. I don't know why you're pulling them over but first off ramp turn, right? And they with their little bit of that's on us. Who cares? I never ever need to slow down to see someone get a ticket. I it's ubiquitous here. And I agreed is on us. But once we understand this is how us does sounds like a new. TV show. Does. So this is how does okay get it. Now. See HP, no more pulling anyone over during these hours on the freeway. You get off the freeway. Let the citizenship. No. Then you pull up sorry. I theory, and I'm very convinced of this. I think it's all of this. Whether it's not not moving on the green arrow kind of just taking your time not pulling over not. And when you're tap, the bumper whatever it is. It's all a symptom of out of it populace. We have a very outta vary. What percentage of under this roof one hundred percent hundred ten percents look at our phones at our red light. It's just but people do now. And now you're caught up because you're not paying attention light turns green the technologies catch up like how about like when the light turns green, a little a little a little audible something flash. The Sunday, something salt do address this new technology. This is this is the last eight years. All right. Here's Garcetti talking US. Puss? But to the graduates, I say you belong to USC. But USC now belongs to you you belong to Los Angeles. Los Angeles belongs to you you belong to this world. But this world also belongs to you. That's when this campus has been at its best that as we as human beings are at its best my wishes that you never feel that you don't belong and that you intern never let anyone. What else feel that either? What the fuck is about you belong. Come on. Pat, fuck and Benneteau that she'd get the traffic going to. These I so I know I'm a heartless robot from the bowels of hell, I don't know what people are fucking talking about. I just don't know what they're talking about like when you belong, and I belong we then we belong and word our best when we all belong so reach out reach out to those who don't belong land hand to those who don't have a hand who don't who do to belong but can't belong. Find those in your community who don't belong and ask them to join you in belonging because together, by the way, I just I don't fuck. The listen to anyone and says because together together we belong to the night we belong to the night. So together, we're stronger together we belong and if together we. Set our hearts and our minds hearts and our belonging minds. Hearts and minds belong to our hearts and our hearts belong term minds, and you belong to the campus of cow state Northridge and cow state Northridge belongs to you. And we belong to Northridge Northridge belongs to the San Fernando Valley. And then the San Fernando Valley belongs to Los Angeles incorporated in parts of Santa Monica. If we feel we all belong together. Then we're all stronger when we belong here. We've had we've had candidate platitude coach plot think we have commencement speaker to sh-, I don't know what you're saying get the fuck and traffic and the homeless fix. Would you believe such a pussy drool tool to fucking guy? You went running your city even know what he's saying. I'm sure somebody who makes scented candles wrote that for him and went here just read this shit. It's a fucking bladder to that means nothing. Thing you be telling people get the fuck to work. It's graduation card Jesus. I want to hear one more time because copped out at the end. Ball. And by the way, to we need that fuck and have the mayor give this speech. I can anyone give this fucking speech twins that could give this speech. I'd like sunny to graduates, I say you belong to USC. But USC now belongs to you you belong to Los Angeles. Los Angeles belongs to you. Whether you tired of that belong to this world. But this world also belongs to you. When this campus has been place. What the fuck is he talking about? Now, let me tell you why he's a big sack of fucking retarded douche because he should look at that. And go, I don't know what this means if I mean, if you fired it just doesn't mean anything doesn't I'm not gonna make an asshole out of myself talking in circles as even if it's vanity. It's like, I don't wanna be seen giving the speech. Look like a fuck and week puss who doesn't. I don't know what we're talked as a fucking these platitudes. This is a long Posey. This is like if you took a fortune cookie and put hair on it. So it looked like a snatch. This is what would come out of. Okay. Thank you already kinda slow cooker put. All right. Sorry continue mex- passer. Belongs to you. That's when this campus has been at its best that is in we as human beings are at its best my wishes that you never feel that you don't belong. And that you intern. Never let anyone. I don't know why goes white stops at the sales feel that either. Why is it was it stop at the same point every time? I don't know. But I feel somebody sends me just watched it. I watched it to my own this morning. It was fine. So just stop brain them late the same one more start in the middle of ROY you rip it. All right. Let me tell you about when I got bed online dot A G. May start with a ton of sports excitement. NBA NHL playoffs. MLB NBA. Boy what game over the weekend raises watching it real time with sunny what balance anyway, one place. It has you covered. It's place we trust bet. Online dot AG. Sign up today for free account at bet online dot AG use the promo code podcast one for fifty percent. Welcome bonus. And don't sit on the sidelines. And let's not forget that promo code podcast one or you can text bet now to twenty three eighty six sixty nine for a fifty percent. Welcome bonus bet online dot AG your online sportsbook experts. That's Ben online dot a Jeep, right? Let's see we rip that thing. It's written ready height more ready than ready here. We go. But to the graduates, I say you belong to USC. But USC now belongs to you you belong to Los Angeles. Los Angeles belongs to you belong to this world. But this world also belongs to you. That's when this campus has been at its best. That is in we as human beings are at its best my wishes that you never feel that you don't belong and that you intern never let anyone else feel that either rice. Let's hope that guy nevers in charge of any fuck and construction project preach battleship anything that needs to work. I mean at the fuck that guys talking about. I'm fucking I'm angry. I went I went fucking problem solvers. So what's I thought that I previously had witnessed the worst USC commencement speech? Ever. When I was a senior Michael Eisner was the keynote speaker, he never Zavala two about business. He does. But he's also kind of a buffoon just kind of foolish and his speech. First of all, the gist of the speech was I lost my speech on Email last night. I lost it. I deleted it. Somehow. I'm too old and stupid understanding Email two thousand and I've deleted it by accident. So my entire speech is going to be about the perils of Email. How difficult technology. You're captive industry. Ula, whatever's Disney whatever the food's going on about Email together an anecdote about I don't know relation. Did you feel like you belonged belong? We'll say we'll win was at its best. Brutal. So would you rather have the buffoon who talks about how we how it can't get a speech together or have the products? I'd rather have vague platitudes. Because at least you have to kind of look within yourself. That's embarrassing. What you experience is just bad. Okay. Yeah. At least make you feel good. Feel good component to them. Everyone paid all that money. Just talk about their young not working. I don't I don't know. Like crosby. I don't mind vague platitude. I mean, I don't mind the one foot in front of the other or the journey of a million miles starts with one step or whatever. Those kinds of things are stitching time or penny. Saved penny earned like I don't mind that kind of stuff because that makes sense to me. Like, it's true. If you save a penny or you earn a penny. It it's the same. I like that. I like the stitch in time, which is like go to the dentist and pay for that cleaning. Otherwise, you're gonna need to root canal. It's going to be expensive. I love all the journey begins with one step now because anyone is done a break project or built the house or pops Corolla remodeling, yet another bathroom, he'll tell you that that journey is the first time you slam the hammer into the drywall, and he start demoing out the bathroom out to the where that stuff's. Okay. It's it's sort of no dub. But it's I don't know. In a way. The stuff our grandparents would say sort of made sense, even if you'd heard him over and over again, like my grandfather would say little things that I always liked he'd say like a new broom sweeps clean, and I'd like was that mean he'd be like if you have somebody? It's like it works in every relationship like we've been married for twenty years. Like if you start a new relationship everyone's everyone's into it, right or new employees to brooms. I used to think it worked that way of employees. But there's a different. There's an different thing. Going the corporate takeovers and radio. Yeah. Room sweep always makes me think of but you need to belong or look in your heart to find. If you belong it doesn't that doesn't mean mean anything? So now, the the platitudes, and I don't know if those things were. Fell under the heading platitude years ago like wisdom. Yeah. Pieces of wisdom. Anyway. All right. Let's take a quick break. I got some listen Milano news got the Subaru update. Unprepared. Clip got all that. Irwin Winkler clip. Oh, the producer because producer in the world. We'll do that. Right. After this. I can't believe it that Philip brought his little brother on our mission into orbit how long until it got their loan. We get there. I'll learn to get there. No. I can't believe how easy it was to save hundreds of dollars on my car insurance with gyco. What's this button? Do what's this button? Do what's this button? Do visit. Believe at Geico could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. Thursday night at Tenny, Corolla drinks presents the booze and book club. We got incoming Ray warned through the radio. It looks like gunships three of them about ten miles out. Get the hell off the road. Everyone will take cover in the mountains came Chris's order. I began to feel the bass in vibrations in the ground and off of this around mountains before I heard anything, but I had been on the giving end of enough helicopter infiltration missions to know, what was coming. I held my rifle close in squeezed my pouches to make sure I had plenty of ammo on me about that. It would do any good if the gun ship spotted us here me read from Robert Patrick Louis the pact. Enjoy a signature may agree at cocktail. Enter to win a pair of JBL one. Oh, four studio. Reference monitors. Visit JBL pro dot com and hang out with all the literary fans of the Adam Corolla show. Corolla drinks presents Tenny boozing book club Thursday night. Tenny downtown, Los Angeles boozing book club dot com. Get the pact now on audible, and I tunes. In the spirit of Murrow Jennings. Cronkite. Here's another rate moments in local news. This man reportedly told women he was in the entertainment industry police say he's really rapist. That's a great moment in local news now back to the atom coolish show, but you could be based on recent history. It's very doable tied together. Totally do. All right. Let's see. I'm going to be at the brea, improv this Friday and Saturday night doing a couple of shows with Adam raise so two shows Friday, two shows Saturday come on out and say, hi, we got a clip of unprepared from where is this mex-? Patta. This is from Sacramento with the F eighteen fighter pilot, Tom. And what is the theme of this one? Okay. So you got the word Jenkin, and you had asked the audience what that meant. And here's I don't know what it means. Oh, so what it means is a drug that when you poop and UP into a jar. And you put a balloon over the jar unleaded for men to the sun and inflates, and then you inhale that that air, and you get you high. Yeah. It's it's a really gross drug that was really popular like south central Africa for while. But ferment a lot of things. Yeah. Okay. So Jenkins in weird. It's not a drug in the sense that it's like a byproduct. Right. Poop and pain the sun funen, you inhale that. Yeah. It's it's a way to get high. But yet not technically a drug. All right. But. So somebody was talking to me. And I think the person said it was like prune, I was like prison, whatever. But I guess it's prison away to get high in prison. All right. Jenkin who? Jank jank J E N K E M. What's jank? Know what that is. It's prison wine. Bruno Bruno listen this about prison in wine. There's a lotta shit going on in prison like these guys are making their own wine. These guys are giving themselves homemade tattoos. These guys are fucking over here. Mike thing is like I didn't courage all of that. You guys are gonna fuck and get loaded jump in your car. T-bone a bus with special needs kids in it. Well, what better place is to be drunken prison? Look big about all the shit that goes wrong in your life because you drink too much Oll LTd when you're in prison sound like what happened. All man, I got fucking so drunk. I couldn't play handball. I could barely find my cell. You can't fuck and drive. You can't buy shit online. Like, you can't do the shit. I do where it's like four the morning, and you're on Amazon, and you're like. Like what? You're drunk shopping on Amazon echo double decker catch stroller. Seems like a good bye. Will. Yeah. I don't have pets yet. But if I do wanna be solely hundred sixty nine bucks, you should be able to be drunk when you're in prison. They should buck in handout, they should hand out condoms and cock rings. They should hand out. There should be a buck and tattoo a room over there. You shouldn't have to make jank or pruneau in your fucking toilet. Oh, well, we got to the toilet at some point. It's the best place to be drunk prison. Yeah. Controlled environment. Yeah. And in terms of like, I dunno. These guys could get a little out of hand if they got drunk. I feel like they've proven themselves to be out of anyway. Either way. Right. I gotta listen Milano update. Tweeting we got the it's awesome. But it was more that there was there's a feminist. I think feminists that had a sort of thoughtful answer to her tweet. I thought was was interesting. Let's see. Well, we'll take a look at that. Let's see she's done a thing. She's now starting. Can I say this? I don't know who listen Alana's married to. But I have thought I don't know if you guys have that thought. But again, I always kind of say when the guys wearing the ostrich skin purple hued cowboy boots or turquoise colored or whatever kind of go. What's the whitening doing? The wife isn't saying something defense leave the house, and you know, like alyssum Alana when she's like I'm going to start a campaign. A boycott on snatch. I'm gonna start a nationwide came no sex until George overturns borsch. It's been I I don't know. What's the husband? So here's the choice for the husbands. The husbands are either. No dominion over who they're married to. And I believe everyone. I don't know why there's a thing where it's like. The wife can say all day long. Oh, honey. You're not going out that sports go. Oh, no, no, no, March, go back and change your myself. Pack somehow if the husband makes a comment to the wife about that. It's like, oh, please come on just married to an ogre married to Andy cab. And it's like. Well, I think it's kind of a two way street. I feel like my wife can tell me things like don't do this. And then I'm allowed to go with them. Don't do that. Like isn't expected of husband allowed to go. Just you know, all and then people are going to go online. It's going to be shit storm. Maybe our daughter reads a couple these, and I don't want first of all I respect the hell out of your passion. Right. But house docs, right, right? Yeah. Just kind of that just can we just fly under the radar for a couple of months anyway, her tweets answer to that tweet was what she said, our reproductive rights are being raced until women have legal control over our own bodies. We just cannot risk pregnancy. Join me by not having sex until we get bodily atonomy back. I'm calling for hashtag sex strike pass it on. I hear these things that I read these things, and I was actually listening to one what Dr drew, which is if you do my challenge, which is if you just fell asleep in nineteen ninety eight and you just woke up and you turn on the news and Cory booker's on the news. And he's like we have a racist in the White House who won't sleep until all people of color all Brown. People are put out on the streets. QB you'd be if you just woke up he'd go. This is going on what's going on. And then they go, look if this guy loses the election. I don't know if he's leaving. He may call the sergeant of arms to fight against you'd be watching going. What's going what's going on what's going on? And if you read this tweet like if you read the tweet just everyone now put it through the filter of you fell asleep in the eighties, and you just woke up or the nineties just woke up read it again. And here's where we're at in two thousand and nineteen reproductive rights are being raised until women have the legal control over our own bodies. We just cannot risk pregnancy. Join me by not having sex until we get bodily atonomy back. I'm calling for a sex strike pass it on if our choices are denied. So are yours. I woke up I'd be like what's going on? I've been nine reproductive rights vigorous some sort of handmaidens tale. You know, like just hope you like what what? Well, that's why you didn't even call it. The right name. Yeah. Yeah. I'd say the same thing. And then I'd be like who's talking while this Schober forty eight year old educated woman is talking. What's going on? What's going on? We have a racist won't really if the White House. It's not going to sleep until putting a target on the black people. Now, this we're taking over women's reproductive rights, and somebody wrote there was a thoughtful tweet by I don't know feminists next door feminist, I guess so yes, you can raise says, please stop feeding. The narrative that women are providers and men are consumers of sex bribing men for equal rights with access to our bodies is not how feminism works. It is an interesting conceit, which is will give up sex glut. You have let your. That you actually a tale as old as time because there's a very famous Greek sale. Call listen Strada. To where this is exactly what the women of Athens due to stop a war. So this concept has been around for a while. But I think we have better options. Now other people were pissed because they're like, why are you? Why are you? Propagating the narrative that there's no such thing as birth control. What what what is this tweet? The I don't know. It's not well thought out also again, I came up with a smash hit called coming on the tits, and this wouldn't fix this would remedy everything. Join forces fantasy Wales from North Carolina's twenty four well. Adam how you doing good? How jana? I'm just a big fan of y'all. I was just I heard the other day that you endorsed Andrew Yang. And I like him a lot too. And I've found that really interesting. I didn't know if you want to expand on that a little Well, I I off I'm not pompous enough to endorse anybody because I feel like who cares? What is? Number one. I he Andrew Yang has a. Universal income thought which is a bad thought. I don't think giving everyone thousand bucks it's sort of. It's sort of like it's like homeless people. What don't they have homes? Give them a home. It. It seems like a remedy like four people. What don't they have money give money? And it's like it's not how things work it's sort of like saying this guy's a D student. Good make a report car where he has as and give it to them, the reverse engineering of this stuff. It's always disasters always unintended consequences. It never fix is the underlying problem. And then everyone just has another thousand bucks a month. You're still equally poor you now have thousands bucks a month. Same person's equally poor has a phone that Elvis would have paid ten million dollars for in nineteen seventy two. So what does it even mean? Anyway, I don't agree with this universal basic income. I guess everyone over eighteen gets a thousand bucks a month. No question asked. That. That's I think would be there Daywear people that already received government benefits so say if you get welfare or something for three hundred a month, it's an often. So you have to opt out of that and get the at thousand a month, and we already spent like over a trillion dollars every year on services like that over two hundred forty programs varies arguments, both ways, and I agree with you wholeheartedly. Don't just give people money and expect everything to work out. But I did hear him as a candidate talking about a plan in a policy, and it sounded like something it wasn't just calling everyone a racist who disagrees with them. I I liked the notion that he is discussing ideas he was talking about. All about ideas. He isn't talking about identity politics. He is he's not about any of that. He's it's almost like he's ten years ahead of everyone. It's like the smart Asian dude has some plans out, and we're just not ready for it. Almost feels like as a country are. Well, well, you know, I said love the Asians. I always say they the Jews their family their education, the income of focus on on excelling. And all that I've always described them as Jews with exceptionally good balance. The Asian Jews have no bound, there's no, oh, she that you acrobat team at the circus now. No that the Chinese the flying. Goldberg's. I'm a big fan of half the stuff the Asians do like Andrew because when they're bad like Donna summer says they're also bad. They go sound. Go hard. Okay. But when they're good. They're actually we like the hot stuff. Yeah. So I like I like, Andrew and totally I have them on. I think you would come on your program. You know, he's a California. Where's he from? I'm thinking to California silicone valley area possibly oh. I think he's from New York. I think about it. We'll see we'll see if we can we'll see we can get him on. But he's he's grabbing me. Adamy on best, man. Thanks. I just went nuts and bolts, and he's talking nuts and bolts, and I like that. And he's actually apparently pretty confused right now as he should be because I like I liked what he said, and I was looking into him. And I don't know if there's enough of these numbers to really matter. But apparently all right dudes are getting behind him, which you think would be a little bit counterintuitive for Andrew Yang. But I don't understand it. And he apparently neither does he when he was asked about he's like, I don't know. I'm pretty confused. I'm not sure greatest if I were David do I would make money getting paid off not to door Smith like it happens every year like David do because endorsed you. What do you say that? I don't know. I don't know him. I didn't ask him to do. Well, he did it like, okay. He is leaving money in the table. And maybe Ted Nugent as well. But I didn't know all right guys. We're going I. They call themselves the Yang gang. God. Yeah. Just just because he's such a force on the internet. Everybody knows them like a lot of. All right guys are re tweeting his is this stuff because he's suggesting this thousand dollar dividend thing to everyone not certain groups over others. They like that. They like that everybody. Okay. So I'd bucks like Oprah thousand bucks, and you get a thousand and you see should I get an monogram Qatar cigar tip cutter or new Swizzle stick Suisse's choice choice choice. Yes. Right. If this ever goes down, I'm going to start a blog of how I wasted my thousand dollars, and I'm going to piss off everybody in the world. I'm going to show you a picture of me, but the cat stroller. The wonder my or whatever I've done stuff that I bought that. I'll never. Yeah. Sushi's? No good. 'cause I might consume respite all these stuff. I'd never you. Right. Right. You know what? I mean. Yeah. I have to lightness with the check you know, that kind of stuff. That's good. All right. Well, maybe we'll get him on. Where's he out of Andrew Manhattan? Okay. Well, you're going to New York the far as I can tell. Yes. Far as I can tell he's the only one who's. Talking sort of nuts and bolts stuff. I mean, Bernie does but his nuts and bolts is pie in the sky. Everybody should get everything all the time like this guy. And also the thing I liked I loved about his answer is when he was talking about getting Amazon or Delta Airlines or whomever stop going off shore and start paying their taxes. And I just love the library when they're doing their job. They're doing what they're supposed to evil. There. Have their job is to save the money. Yeah. Our job is to get money from them. So let's try to figure this out so far they're winning. As I always say, you don't think the guys who run in started Amazon are smarter than the guys who run and started the DMV. You don't think this group is smarter than this? You the pudding run a city, and we can't get the signals timed and there's homeless everywhere these guys run Amazon, Delta Airlines. Yeah. I'll bet you. They're better things than you. And I bet they there's more skilled, and they're they're brighter have more cunning. So if are playing this to outsmart these guys to get money from them. I don't think that's going to work full. We need to just put a basic thing. Which is you make a buck. You give us thirty cents or what whatever super hard basic thing because the more paperwork, we give them the more loopholes. They find in that paperwork and the more they do with their good at which is saving money and they're smarter than. We are. And they're motivated the smart and they're motivated. So how's this has this ever gonna work? So since that's ever gonna work just tack on whatever percent every widget they sell and we'll collect that. All right. Let me tell you about Castrol edge. She skies. Her smart motivated, heat friction viscosity breakdown. Rob your engine of maximum performance. Friction results in a loss of reforms up to ten percent Castrol edge formulated with fluid titanium technology three times three times stronger against discussing breakdown leading oils. Castrol edge, you should unlocked the true performance in your car's engine with Castrol edge. All right. Quick break. We come back, and we do news when we come back news right after this. -nology truth. Brought to you by Geico. Truth. You think you can solve any problem by turning computer offense on Heyman something through laptop? Now just need to turn off and on. It smoking. Yeah. That's needs to boot truth so easy to switch and save on car insurance at geiko dot com. In Nelson, fire happens all the time. It's all good. Geico. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more Trump and Democrats. I'm Ed Donahue with the AP news minute. President Trump thinks congressional investigations need to stop looking anymore. This is all it's done done because of the end of the Russia investigation. The White House has been resistant to cooperate with Democrats investigations in congress on Fox News. The president was asked if former White House counsel, Don Mcgann will testify head him testifying already thirty hours. So if the answer really, so I don't think I can let him and then tell everybody else you can't Torney general William bar said no to testifying yesterday before the House Judiciary committee. You testified Wednesday before the Senate Judiciary committee and house speaker Nancy Pelosi says bar was not truthful attorney general the United States of America is not telling the truth to the congress of the United States, that's a crime. And the Justice department responded saying the allegations by Pelosi, a reckless and faults House, Democrats are poised to whole. Old bar in contempt of court can can for congress. I'm Ed Donahue.

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137. Upcoming Attractions - 2019 Emmy Awards, Face/Off, In The Tall Grass, Ad Astra + Good Boys Reviews and more!

Midnight Double Feature - A Film Podcast

1:10:03 hr | 1 year ago

137. Upcoming Attractions - 2019 Emmy Awards, Face/Off, In The Tall Grass, Ad Astra + Good Boys Reviews and more!

"On this upcoming attractions episode of Not Double Feed Shop the Emmys Water Authority said and I just can't there's nothing else here like occas- show exploring the cloud is a good is a pretty damned as an idea the not Astra and good boys all this a whole lot more on this upcoming attractions episode of Midnight Double Feature Howling through right I watched Monty I watched fucking the boys I watched Berry I watched one good how you doing man what's what's cracking what's great man you know what I've been with league super hype about Terminator Doc Bike for some reason has a following us at the after party which is how facebook group follow us on the after Party of imposing some reviews about some TV shows that I've just been fucking yeah I haven't really been up too much of saying I've been watching a bunch of TV feel I guess I guess we'll plug it now uh-huh and we're back for another episode of Math double feature is I have how are we doing today wall behind all the other films and Expanded Universe are GonNa widdly into that lightly but then I dug really deep down the rabbit hole most of barry as it came out for from almost gotten halfway through season and to me it's like it's the next breaking bad familiar like this much room for two Gar it can do drama so well comedy say well I fucking love that I really need to watch the boys there that's probably next the mind I it it just doesn't feel like there's no originality left in like I feel like it's just the story that they've like wanted to say or native to say has been really great segue opportunity and you know what I may I love my segues the Emmys just happened I swear the Emmys must have happened mark two weeks can get to it like kicking myself but yeah I've been watching Rick and Morty yes yeah they want some recording that man barry is one of those shows bulldogs is but honestly when I finished that episode I was like I haven't seen anything like that as a and man berry absolutely had one of those episodes to watch list yeah you really need to watch the boys I'm just quickly there is an episode in Barry and I said to my review I don't say this lightly but men uh-huh wanted to yeah I've been embarrassed Sir Oh dude it's it's fucking incredible it was I can't believe it took me that long that was directed by Ron Johnson it's in the final season of breaking bad it's absolutely incredible television that's such Nettie thing to say like more favorite television episodes you lie absurd like that on there was just absolutely yeah mind-blowing if you haven't already definitely watch berry and follow the were also say with John Wick it's a sore come from Hawaii the second it was announced and his like I can just tell a love everything about it and actually watched uh-huh assorted media I don't know just sort of video on Youtube and work off this is going to be really cool and I've just been really all about the law you're a whole I read a bunch of leaks from the test screenings of Tony Doc fight on what's excited why why ther- it's important it's incoherent in my opinion I just think it's in care and just automated since season two it's a believe it's around the middle part of the season and it's fucking incredible I've never seen anything like that on TV or any kind of episode after body already just real quick before they're not getting spoilers for people who haven't seen it but which are you talking about and trying to figure it out yes so it's because like the only that I truly really kind of like champion and really I wouldn't say passionately care about but like the ones that I actually really you know what we can do a whole podcast barry smother dino cases account right but you know what this is a great doc Fai Amaury Nazi man just quickly I think I think genesis gets the exact kind of rapid deserves induction is like my watch is vibrating every few minutes and it's it's a mutual friend Chris Messaging may like the winners my favorite TV show one or two shows of all time is breaking bad and my favorite TV episode of all time is called Ozzy Ozzy Mantius in breaking bad not really like that like it was just I don't know it was not really wasn't full force yeah it wasn't for me it's cut eleven flaws there's definitely some shock here there's one that I was just like fuck yes but the other like most of them kind of like on the nation's are for Berry I can't really think of icon really decide which one I would have given it to between Anthony Kerrigan and Henry Winkler it up but Yeah the the reason I wanted to a good segue is because on the the first one he outstanding supporting actor in a comedy series Wchs Guard but not happen again I haven't watched anything but I do have the the results of love to talk about with you have you seen anything site although I will say this other term genesis gets a bad rap I'll be watching you on youtube and I'll think it's bad but are too quickly in a foster around so bullet-point phone thing gets get some reactions from us we go through these winners list and Anthony Kerrigan obviously played no hank is fucking awesome as well between those two con really decide I think I might give it to winkle anything gotTa Watch the marvelous mismatch because I just clean up any every single time y'all got to get on that shit as well man I do want to I just it might even be so just like Barry Malls as well husband cleaning up one again for outstanding supporting actress Makoni series onto our because Henry winklers especially this Barry Season two eight putting a fucking amazing performance as Jane Jane is I mean I think he just happened longer yeah I'd only happened a few hours ago as we record this but I mean I I had my first album unusual today so it was like like that that might be on my right hours well our cat mackinnon was one of the gnomes Saturday night live I didn't realize she's still on us an option and seventy movies lately so moving through it next show to watch Hong Kong I'm Carly Rae watching the Sopranos my dad because why not but honestly yeah three three out of the what is it six the winner was Turney shillue ethic economics for Mabul obvious I got one right there is not one two three it's yeah I reckon I would lack if I was able to binge it on like a platform I don't know of any how did grow obsessed Becker for some reason so I love that guy moving through a fleabag took it for outstanding late actress Makoni series beating out it's one of the girl Gill and follow yeah I feel that's a real stand on that's great I love that same good fall I didn't realize so that's another recurring thing you'll see these is there's a Lotta nominations for some new show that argument before called flee reply he's known as a veteran people feel like it was I I love the good place spot I don't think he's the best Dr not shy personally but that's me L. to in solar the robot She was yeah she was great I heard I heard this show is actually a win like like absolutely fantastic so Komo nations for Barry for best supporting actor which is just a testament to shine how fucking brightness cost is a separate lost emmys like athlet category moving through outstandingly acta in a limited series or TV movie went to drill earn from her directed by David Duval. It's a it's a Netflix series it's about the central park five five young kids who were thrown into jail true story true and violated the civil rights and Yeah but this Guy Giralda Roy implies I believe his name is Antwan in the in the in the Shire and this poor boss yeah this is this is one I got to talk about so I talked about when they say on the on the podcast you know that's the that's the one that's the one where I it's it's it's Jack do you know anything about fleabag ahead it's great it's got the latest Fabiola Bridge who played the economy of the exact episode that he's being nominated for because he's only in one episode Durell Dorm so fucking killed a dude like that episode is absolutely crazy out for the Oscars. Yeah now I get you feel like the Emmys the the next best thing I think we don't really cover to the in depth on the show into jail pretty pretty much innocently like they were that were kind of in the wrong place at the wrong time and the police just absolutely fucked them up in the interview room and the interrogation uh-huh Instructor Habit Buxton now is okay moving through it on outstanding reality competition series ripples drag on that that's big for both of us were really doc bidding Ted Danson that's pretty awesome but that being said armor feel like Ted Danson he gets his nations mostly he's like his mouth elite actor in a comedy series Bill Haida took it for Barry and the ad somewhere taught competition too Kushner Khouzina Jesus Christ because monitor say I'm getting a mixed up with surprise his fucking his next door is because houses Mazza also Julia Louis Dreyfuss from vape which decide the final season vapor started at I haven't finished it I it eh it's a series final as well so it all kind of hinges on him the it's fucking awesome I'm actually I'm actually surprised Hebei Doubt Jared Harris fissionable so it defies the Conventions of what is a movie you could call it a game interactive experience it's transmitting pace of entertainment yeah or stadium out Sam Alex boasting you know who she is not as the Voice of Lois from family guy next one on a yoga mirror excited for stemming outstanding limited series when it went to Chanel s could it okay I don't think it could have been anything else it's been ages in the whole based on based on false false convictions yeah that episode I 'cause I I know the is it a movie like there were going into it people thought it was like a limited season like a special season movie so like honestly we reviewed on the show we thought the story was pretty Ma- had some good moments but I'm guessing where it wins all of its credit is just yeah that's the thing reaction is you love should I lost eleven Cena yeah moving through it and when they see us was absolutely incredible I heard escape Dan Amora was pretty good so that one was I believe are the directed by or created very interesting I I do remember you talk about that now. Outstanding lead actress in limited series here's a movie our Michelle Williams Fossey's Don I'm not sure that one actress some series of navy goes to brats the act on GonNa fuck it up sporting act unlimited but I'm trying to push this technology but still a saying variety sketch series I still complete this is John and this is a fucking savory series a movie Ben wish for a very English scandal. TV movie is an interesting one the best TV movie award whatever went to blackmail John Oliver the writing on that show by it feels unfair to the other in that category because the thought Surat but I love Sarah Silverman a Mac the next category is a no brainer outstanding variety talk series as always the winner is lost weight soon how to more than May which is funny I try and keep keep tabs on they sort of things that went on to my right off the next one I'm staying sport the same old format and wall an instead like John Elvis show is basically just like a twenty minute monologue about aw or a category because of course sudden not live is going to take it W said who is America back could've it's pretty good living in innovative our revolutionary but it's it's different for streaming platforms today yeah so do you have to give credit or credits to you I mean yeah I I don't I mean I know fan like it just seems like it seems like he's trying to Hod Sasha Baron Cohen it seems like he's trying to sometimes I'm like yeah I'm good the problem with the sherlock that is it can be miss but man I feel like when that show here it's a hit it's amazing season with game of thrones but I feel like you did a lot this season I am I am I yeah look in in hindsight awed yeah I I'll tell you what's better than who is America one of the other nominees drunk history that's fucking good wasn't that originally like a youtube show or podcast era Banda Snatch Beating out deadwood which I did not know how to move this year but I wanNA brexit but can Black Mirror Banda snatch espn relative to everything going on in the plot for show he didn't do too much this season but now that I think about it he definitely got some pretty awesome monologues I heard people like they thought when announced it I thought it was a season counted Cesar I'll probably net flicks cold movie it's interesting though because both By Ben Stiller and starring bench Sir I I heard that's pretty good I've unfortunately head of the other two Canarias I absolutely if there's one thing to kind of salvage the finale it's that sane in its -tarian in that sort of effort that goes in that show and its particular structure is just so different to its competition still sort of restricted by the park ride I mean like he and it's not really the space that everyone kind of like complains about it's it's the one you know the one wherever especially the last seen Jonathan Banks Medical Seoul was really fucking right I barely remember Giancarlo Esposito as I'm Jamie I don't think he should have been nominated I mean like he was good but not in the same guys always sorry Alfie Allen was actually pretty damn fuck and to watch talk shows watch the monologues on Youtube I do like that but our John all of its shouldn't really be compelled to them doing a completely different thing and the thrones there yeah I think I think I would have given this to maisy Williams but yeah it really was her season I feel yes she was Hiddink for game of thrones now I don't know about you and it's not so competition here especially when gramma thrones I love pitted glitch I think he's done great is wins every year I think ever since it started its one this category and he's a big one black curious about your thoughts outstanding supporting actor in a drama when I went we're getting the breaking bad movie which was pretty exciting such as the today as well yes yes our account right mm complaints about where he's like oh how `bout we nominate brand king that one but the page that he gives to John just before she and so I do like -tarian sorry I do like to drink and I think I don't think Nikola Kosta Walter Replies Eh but yeah yeah sorry yeah but Augie Jonathan banks is almost a laid back his second late in that show it's him but yet a specific obviously amazing and he's done a major performances but I don't know if he's one he's he's big performance this season or on it's been awhile of medical soul but he hasn't really done a lot and he's not even wouldn't even is only they're not supporting take you on a journey discover something always ends in some crazy antica gimmicks it's not really I mean I don't watch try so it's not really a category that I can fuckin- king's landing and shit as it's being destroyed and yeah she graduate thought outstanding lead actor drama series went to billy and look you can you can talk shit about like what he was saying like in terms of the story and the concepts and stuff but there's no denying that paid a dink kind of nuts tailored suit I just finished watching season five which is probably the best season ever seen anything on television yes smashed through the rest of this essay interesting even you know again taken away the bullshit Arri and like the shitty writing she did a fucking Greg job what she was given like you know when she's walking around mugging for more in the future merely gain for that to come back on to be honest yeah autographed too late I think we're not getting next to you now but I'm about a few weeks I may soon watch killing now it's pretty crazy to think like you bake Viola Davis like that's that's insane outstanding comedy series next when I went to fleabag again one of the reasons why I got to watch the show it beat Berry and barrhead amazing season and vape I feel often cleans up I'm for I'm not to show but I I saw it on on on Foxtel and I've seen a little bit of a love your American Sarah Silverman Franken bellicose old this season belly fat yeah about that I was thinking the same thing he has been in the last two seasons now leave his twitter this is this is also another another category where it's like hers Giardi Carmont like Amelia Clog Violet David Job Sterling Cry Brown from this this is us I mean like this guy's been killing it he was in Black Panther Harrington cabins riding you know he's fucking Great Ed Cook from medical soul amazing what this season and Molly Ventimiglia who from US I mean if you wanna point him to something he was take a look at the that's what I'm saying like look at all the other nominee Jason Bateman for incredible incredible Bob Odenkirk had such a great season in particular Hit some great material to Bubba Odenkirk yeah next I'm not really a fan of like these kinds of awards where it's like okay well look at what game of thrones is done for the industry because its final season let's give it to them like you know what I mean look gatherings this season and I'd like to get to we we just got a comment from Mike Yoga on the after party that I've just in regards to this but yeah Oh really I've never I've never really been fantasized Oscars either like I'm not really aren't take When Leo one for the revenue and I was not surprised but script that was one element among many elements of what ecosystem would even put that aside this season took to you offseason too harsh than something turns on this I think I think the winner should obey medical soul I think arrestingly actress in drama series with Jerry Coauthor killing eighth pretty it's like one of the few categories where it's like there's no doubles than that on mcmurray mistake the Laura Linney Mandy Moore Sandra Rub in rot like Jesus Christ and then you got dirty Karma I I mean look I've never even heard of it but at the same time I was like oh I kinda thought his best performance was in the wolf of wall straight like but you know whatever that's exactly how I feel about like some of these bless we've got a short film from drastic world called Battle at big rock also some cool trailers including doctors and more plus our views will add it's about staying drama series the went to game of thrones wise controversial because unanimously unanimously the entire fan and a handsome always shows icon speak for everything bothered turns deserve to win this all my gun matt why think about it right let's say you don't like the doc are shit that being said I've got I wanNA play devil's advocate here tell me from crazy competitor's competition Davies I'm in understood why but I don I am finally probably the one that's got the most controversy around or whatever cycled savvy about P. P. Gingrich seasons three and four and when his character loaded like good material work with fuck yeah but now PORTA oppose Is this what is this show I I I know everything else in here I don't know not one iconic his actress in drama Juliet Jonah razaaq Still Charlemagne to watch turns nuns there as well I want to break full or non here is applied but I mean these are names that we've heard often like billy puertas comes up and be like I'm GonNa let you finish finish finally putting these things together and just the via fax and the way they did these such longer episodes in the shit there must have been put together I used to make for a reason for the action scenes did is better than some of the big blockbuster Hollywood say the the way they use like the and may never will again I think I think to say that we'll never get another water cooler talk Taylor a top TV show the script writing. I'm talking about pretty much everything I would call this as in of medical soul a much more cohesive Tevita like with my the stock yeah it just seems to be it just seems like that production was rushed and I'm not just going are yet what I found with a Lotta these shows is that come water cooler shows the never liked that straighter Wyatt it usually took the third season of Cypher tap back right that talks about the post production and then we've also and then we've also got against the colleague writing old again editing again in episode what does it three let's not blow this off to fucking something but I don't think I think especially this as and again with Ryan's I think the wake is edited Murad like just the fact that we got to not one not one coffee Cobb got a Coffee Cup and we got to buckle of water like that space to the fucking editing is a bit of a stretch I think may we might get one for a while but I think we'll get one we will and I think we may already have it the same standard as always before I'm crazy thinking this might be but that's wrong I mean yeah I can say well you're getting out but I might need to disagree antisocial and don't care about that's me I'm good by this podcast is your core sire yeah that's that might be the lightest court water cooler talk show we have a say you can say what you want about the plot of this season but shards still did things no other has before Emma thrones no but I think you could argue that storytelling in season game of thrones is still better than a lot of other drama competition has out there even if it just black usually the first season I think often gets ignored by people but yeah I think I feel like net flicks and then modal of the GonNa Better Call Saul admittedly I haven't seen bodyguard killing eight I have seen I haven't seen pose haven't seen succession haven't seen this us so maybe not the best person this from but I think you know again I think it should have been better also good points good points Oldham Malik Medical Salsa why not fuck in a trapped attract family or family unit like with fucking raging Donoso battles enj- watch a drama or one weekend that is what's killing awarded killed water cooler conversations because it means we get the whole thing at once so means we get one conversation sure it looks fantastic the CJ is fantastic this might be the most expensive short film ever made but it didn't really do anything for me it's still after the the the salad ties that fallen kingdom left in my mouth they didn't really do anything to rip to revitalize it I think this I think this kind of series needs something Sir I mean look the script aside the it had bigger problems than the script I mean not bigger but like they were more issues than policies like it's sloppily Charlie from breaking bad and he's fucking incredible but I mean you know remain Douadi like fucking kills it with Gamma thrones every is the I think they should about to me or the biggest one the one that caught me off God I'm Jurassic World released a short film that takes place in between gatemouth sorry of winning girly NFL and said well does it have constantly Santa Gamma threatens riding I was just like well yeah I kinda agree with you there no one really gave fucker gamma threads till season four I feel sorry sir breaking bad till season four Gareth road and some go like season two in traffic world was supposed to come was supposed to direct star wars episode nine was fired and I guess he's directing shorts now but it's a good looking lost film and what will be the next one where Donald Tour's are among us in the world it's called battle at big rock what did you think of this man yeah on an outside and family unit interstates like that happens in drastic world and pretty much in the same style to like this is obviously directed by calling Travolta who did okay and you are right drastic world order did this but the did this more than ten years ago but it's hurting many more pocked today Dr one dress world to be what is great about the original trilogy especially the first film and even the second foam is that the dinosaurs were Adina Germs on with candy it's it's very hobson showroom is like it's it's too happy after Kris corny on up popcorn like the bubblegum survive From the other ones Sir I really hard this is a is a direction for the nuance but yeah I don't know it just kind of like ended up being the same thing so interesting you say that because I feel like this short is the shot and Yom I feel like getting because they've got nothing to promote the new movie isn't probably is coming out soon at least on heard anything about the neuron they're released a free thing I think it needs a shot in the arm dont really know how it's going to get it I don't think this is I think this is kind of more of the same I do like that this concept own season overtaking like until acting script writing intensive editing in terms of fucking even the score of the music like Dave Puertas a score of that scary and there was dock it was almost kind of realistic in this one and he's new ones at slack his best friends are velociraptor and dressing rolled and fallen kingdom like this Marvel Happy Go lucky wink at the camera it's a fun adventure almost Indiana journ Shit acceler they'll have two possible answers right so a I think is because I it could be the studio is still trying to I guess I've got a question for you I don't know if you have an answer around the theory why the fuck that they released a short film I mean think about it it's not mine the outlook we spent way more on Emi's Parisian plans let's move on let's move on real quick to to Mir shower bar let's talk real quick but also I think the second reason is calling Travolta are just fucking had nothing else to do because his movie just bombed which is the book of Henry the army was one of the best films Sir maybe just didn't have anything to do but anyway I I think I think it's either a other supplies shortly after the what happens at the end of fallen kingdom that dinosaurs are kind of adding a battle like that because I did Wanna see what that looks like but and where on record saying that because it feels like to movies sticky type together as to one with a very incredibly boring Middle Act at just it feels like was Ati Ricksen something similar or so I really lack the turner perch to this and I hurt the new movies like that but like I don't get the same black Paul test the waters to see if there's still interest in this franchise following fallen kingdom which was kind of I it's pretty it wasn't very well received I didn't think right got into it did very well in terms of critically and in terms of the audience as well I'm not sure about box office actually maybe if you WANNA check Gripe but I mean there's no one on that cost list that was that really kind of surprise me I mean like either they will room it or they've been confirmed so I'm not really eight that movie just feels like the ride is took a writing classic that goes against seventy basic principles I feel anyways off thought it was Conaco to promote the film but lack maybe call introvert as conjurer maybe like didn't maybe haven't green lit the next film so this is made as a test the people kind of went crazy for this and I was just like guys it's it's nothing we didn't say in drastic world I'm like man it's it's internet socket suck part of the DVD. What is the motivation I usually whenever you do get a short films like this it's usually like it's a it's an adult I hope that's a that's indicative of where the future franchise guys but we'll say okay and next up James Gunn released interesting pitcher Alani pretty much showing the entire off of suicide squad and fucking massive isn't it it's it's it's huge ANA now on it like full and kingdom and author dress world isn't right like I think it's good for what it's trying to bay but that's not what I want dress no but we get a week by week by week we get multiple we get twelve conversations we get twenty five conversations are mad for those of us it's got to be at least ten twenty twenty fifteen addressing world Ossama drastic I'm at the lost world felt the lost world did this a bit Allison into raid yeah absolutely so Boy Mark Hilda I shed I shared the past of the hood that shown gun obviously James Gunn Pete Davidson. I'm stuck say pig Davidson's Chris Tucker what city come on man really cool I like suicide squad just to bury Jimmy thing off Nathan fillion that's a renewed on a platter is to or it's a combination of two of those two rates are found Brusque road full and Kim rolls towards one billion there's a few names here Viola Davis Orissa come back as Amanda Rolla Idris Elba people talk about him may be dead shaw on they rods motorbikes of Walser rafters and he's said Funny Jokes This Swan at slack you'll skated a baby's GonNa get eaten by Falcon T. Rex in her the market will go said a pretty awesome comet Riley he said I'm not the biggest fan of quite legacy award winds but I think there's something about something to be said about a shot of the game and Mike I think it's hilarious that with the with their first suicide squad like though like aw make gardens a galaxy and so there and that was a little long but sometimes chump out to if anything else POPs out at you John Cena I believe we knew that before reports seven billion loss was moments of billion it looks like it was a success billion dollars critically it was trash main these are all the members of the suicide squad them harping some of them are villains where it's a suicide squad Messana Tame I don't think it's just yet thin to show like all this new director take it in testing the waters like did why would they really show filmed her win spending all this money on it too I think the world did this at all in fact this was shot neon complete change in direction of tarn that's what supercross Jurassic world and to me just just well it was something that I couldn't have predicted Todd Phillips the director of hangover all three of the hangover's date school for scoundrels could and I did say I did say it was probably going to be the reviews that's why me so just just saying how overly positive reviews for this Vilma expressed his kind of like I guess trepidation for this movie rather he said he's excited to say it but he's also like I don't think this is the entire squad sorry I don't think all these guys at the school so yeah let's say I don't WanNa go through all the names because I feel like we just did that so speaking jerk jerk go a lot of Oscar buzz doesn't offer Yemen the all the this this is now my most anticipated film of the year we're GONNA be at least Jason because it's James Gone Yeah at some puts a little bit more faith into the Franchisor feel senior having tragedies pretty much every day caused by people who who learn who content anyone in violence it is a wonderful it is actually a caught a pretty awesome compensation but like he's kind of saying that this is a film that whose mission statement is to venture infirm do you know if that is he's playing he's playing a different character that's been confirmed by Jim's gone right And Margaret Roby coming back obviously Quinn and Michael the national this but I also want to state that it's really fucking stupid that I keep half-continent Hoffner concerning all like them to commit James Gunn born and when Thor Ragnarok came out and said Oh it's make guardians of Galaxy ads there's Taco tedious who felt like that's that's pretty cool then is this decline of movie that we should be a putting out right now and Bay Khanna giving a lot of praise to and a lot of could big fan of Kevin Smith like he's he's he's yeah he's awesome I love that does does this increase the fever a white till I say a trial but I know that it's probably can be interpreted like any kind of pace of auto media can be misinterpreted oh taken different ways and I think I don't think we should let what's happening in the world stop that thank you I'm hearing a lot of Buzzer I'm walk Hain absolutely being Vulcan Front runner of the Best Best Actor category the Oscars next meteor attention to that that was a pretty pretty pretty cool conversation I don't fully agree with mock what he's saying because like is this is funding right there wasn't saying a car on the top of my head cut Morocco dark get to attach implying that lot of these people will die I'm hoping it doesn't think we should always promote different artists to send different messages or whatever even if they are provoking even yeah Pinochle pulpy who played one of the doctors and Dr and David obviously from the dockside prisoners and and basically you know it's Kevin Smith talking about a lot he's like you know I'm fucking so excited lucky always does which is positively but then like mock Benneton who is his car host on that I'm sort of agreeing with mock a little bit I do think there Nafta Girolami twin often reality obviously and it's I don't really think that this is the film to becoming out right now I don't really think well look I'm paraphrasing here this isn't exactly how he said it that like they think the film is a little turned death in terms of what Mon Culture is because in that film they constantly apparently putting out I think it's Mexicans to be the mind of a psychopath and say I was born in kind of like it's a battle learn who decides to explode and calls violence on people and in a world where we a day or sort of your on youtube the other day I'm from Aegean methods Rambo Film and that is similar comment but Louis differently though though saying that glorifying the is mentally deranged person in the other films the jokers a bad guy it's meant Smith show look it's bad if I do poke the bear so yeah so that was a great compensation that should absolutely be if you haven't had already I wasn't fully blind why but I mean you know what I am impressed with the cost that is this normal because I only I mean commando jives gone can like fucking assemble it costs like Brunner's want to rick flag top character some sort of military if he's doing those roles draconian implies for comeback is kept Meringue who is we right now and accounts make judgment that without saying the film but I can sort of understand that point if you make if you telling a story that modified awhile ago by a it's like it's like if the day off the nine eleven you released a film about on planes crashing who'd be insensitive Ruka Ruka Duffy now his character yet but that's just some of the names that stood out to me on of misdemeanor wanted to mention but it's like the traffic sympathize with him for say but I'm curious like I honestly think we're missing a piece of the puzzle Jirka to see what the hop is about mainly the reason I wanted to talk about Jarkko was those a conversation on the latest episode of Batman Famine beyond rather as cold now in our Sir Kenneth for a bad example but you know getting up now I get what you're saying I get that vibe from from from this movie it's like it's almost I still stand by my original understand relate to this will sympathize with Howard to connect with it in our our they're always evil people and stuff like that and it's like well with Iranians going on in America right now I'm and then he also throwing violence on top of that it seems a little bit like maybe the buzz does probably good loss piece of news item that we got here is Dude everybody faceoff I was like damn he's gone out to kill probably literally so talk harbor doesn't feel like a school shooting if do stuff that that's what would get me to feel look I don't WanNa get too gravity long but what did you think the original I'm in different like I mean to to crazy and wild performances yeah connect Mohawks and Kendall does meltzer relates to compensation the after party I don't WanNa get too deep into it but finally off like we had a lot of people saying they went came to this movie Oregon Roll we'll see what happens it is interesting to say that film like this is awesome bus film bison the Jericho so yeah we'll see what happens spurs in the main in for discern we're not seeing that we done stand I feel like the pups Sean Spicer Whittle so let's say I know the thematic sped up I could probably relate to it and understand it more Hawaii that back I was talking about back in I mean like I I heard I mean like this is not a not going off any lakes or anything like that to John Later Jessica and all that rock him by feel like you make a bed you want it on an APP back Mitch on People Bats Pencilling Joker speaking jirka communities that would be reviewing this and present at photos initiate I'd probably raise it up and swallow wicked judge for ourselves in the mutual comes out for us the same but interesting I just read reviews whenever Tom this happens it feels like anything with Phil's right so they're going to roll off the concept or it's going to rule from the cost that's that's secondly rebooted foster fears Tamar without vin diesel thou awoken without without without nor we give a shit it looks like the way that trial has caught my favorite part is just that that Merman off the title like send in the clouds and he does that dance Dr Fair enough then you'll get all the things that get rebooted where it's about the the winning thing was about the the relationship of two characters on no we would say or it's based on a book but it's not really by our but it's interesting I could see it could be I understand his point but I believe the that that second trial dropped quite recently was initially like God doesn't really do anything for me but then the more I watched it it's just like I I love by soft probably for the wrong reasons spa love it but the reason I love it is because of to actress is John Travolta with me fuck yeah just quickly before we move on there is a little pace of news that's pam now firmly on the tried and that is before the reviews drop like house like damn like this is it looks like he's putting in a performance and it is now it just seems like why in our it's just like whenever they trying to Reduce Sports Negga film their Democrat five times Neil based on the fact that Ed in feel like a superior nfl and stuff like that which is a fair criticism on our I've said the same thing as well but you know I guess you could say senator talk show and tries to kill everyone which may be that's what we see is an certainly implies elements that yeah we'll say it will say man like then of the day like it's kind of how what sort of makes a break something like this right and show you can do something like was recently child's play with a had a cool concept but I mean in the dark knight returns like the called a collect the fucking seminal comic dozen he go out and like Gassing Taya Theater full of people are pretty much even that didn't really like the action white long not really interested in it but I mean grateful can Nikkei's performance and fucking oil John Travolta Performance Bowden that man rolling really not into it sorry John we will look on a site that's on my point why golden flop except for the ten once because he's still in it and I it's because people aren't going because the story was so good there were going because of the ACTA it's well made film I'll be onboard Sarah Yeah but this is not what I'm asking for Jacomb severe really Westfield a better be good make these these things off is pretty incredible in fact other it's a monumental an as as as a as a tent pole and TV now is it the best story we've said forget tail and I'm told now another twins movie with Pita Dink which and Jason Momoa maybe that'll be good that'll be good for different reasons because of the actors in our as you hear about that there was flown pointblank flow rush hour in the TV series law fucking dude this thousand a just go into monitoring edge trauma impersonated shallow whole time it's that's what makes a fun you can't so we're going to read this film without them and they caller would learn by now working right now and I wondered like you know want to spend too much time on this but it is pretty sad Sid Haig who played captain spaulding Dan Devil's rejects and has dozen corpses Just pasta why what's so he was also in Rob zombies three from Hell Yeah this looks fine it looks it looks like a strike to Netflix film which I think it is Patrick Wilson I will I will watch pretty much every hardy but Stephen King concept start really grammy they always seem a little too silly but they they would work steady I think we're not the other thing so yeah I'll definitely check this out it looks it looks fine fine is the right word look I'm figuring the edible but notably directed the movie splice in two thousand nine which I thought was an underrated and he also he also directed maybe in nineteen ninety-seven called take of a riveting exciting cinema adult the people walk in toll gross for two hours but we'll say aw that's a shame so yeah did you do another cores or anything I thought mind that's fucking alterior sorry I'll just you really do need the rot director hunt because it's so easy the fuck out some of these things are well the director behind this one is a guy named Vincenzo Natalia. It's not really something that was on my radar but you know a big thing as well you know every fucking Steven King Book on Vella is being adopted these days and this looks exactly like like those like you know what I mean except it's like a different kind of story it's also directed by Todd Haynes who yes this is my most excited

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Jeff Goldblum Gathers An Assortment Of Guest Vocalists On His Latest Jazz Album

World Cafe

28:32 min | 8 months ago

Jeff Goldblum Gathers An Assortment Of Guest Vocalists On His Latest Jazz Album

"This is world cafe. I'm Renee Doris talking. To Jeff. Goldblum is in a word delightful just like when he's acting. He peppers his his conversation with Little flourishes that make his speech almost musical and so maybe it makes sense that he's been playing music almost his entire life practicing piano since he was a kid playing jazz club residency for the last several years and releasing his first jazz album back in two thousand eighteen with his band. End The mildred snits our orchestra that first album they put out the Capitol Studio sessions went to the top of the jazz charts and now Jeff Goldblum and the mildred snits orchestra have returned with a new one called. I shouldn't be telling you this Jeff. Goldblum joins me to talk about the assortment of famous guest vocalist. He brought together for the project project about his family somehow manages to get me to speak French and he is generally delightful. We start with a song from I. I shouldn't be telling you this the opening track featuring Sharon van Etten on vocals. This is. Let's face the music and dance. Maybe yeah so is news again Ah Face that's let's face the music and Dance Jeff Goldblum and the orchestra featuring Sharon van Etten on vocals from Jeff Goldblum's new album. I shouldn't be telling you this I'm reiniger is and Jeff Jeff. Goldblum joins me now Jeff. Welcome to the World Cafe. Thank you Raina. It's a thrill to be here. Thanks so much for having. Yeah it's interesting because say think For people who haven't heard you played before they may be surprised to know that you don't really sing that much on your jazz albums you play piano. You leave most of the singing to some special guests like the song we just heard. Sharon van Etten sang that one. Did anyone need some extra encouragement to get into singing jazz. Wow Aw Fiona Apple. I'm remembering Oh she's such shows such a wonderful person and singer she. We contacted contacted her and we may. I made a little video. I got her what I do. Get her number somehow met her on an occasion many years ago and then we we started to make videos to each other and say hey I thought this and she seemed to happy about the whole thing and she came over and as soon as she started to sing thing that I started to get weepy and choked up and I was very emotional and very She's just so soulful and personal and unique and I I just loved it and then she's kind of like many great artists shy in some ways. You know and in highly sensitive so after that session. I think there was a conversation or two where I said. Well we just WanNa make it you know. She had considerations about one thing or another and I said we just WanNa make it perfect for you so that it's so that you really happy with us and then we figure figured out and she's one of the people who stayed in her house. I Mike Thank where she's got a high class Recording situation an engineer and Worked with our track that we made and then she She she came up with what she was doing which I just loved. I just thought it was great. Let's take a listen to some of that right now. The Fiona Apple Song on the new Jeff Goldblum and the mildred Schnitzer Orchestra allegation. Telling you this it's don't worry about me Ayoola why should you cling to. Some fading vein used to be you. Don't worry about me. Don't worry about Me Jeff. Goldblum and the mildred snits orchestra with Fiona apple singing from the a new album. I shouldn't be telling you this. This is world cafe. I'm reiniger is joined by Jeff Goldblum now. A lot of people may know you as an actor. I but you've even playing jazz piano for a long time. And for the past several years we've had an on again off again weekly residents where you play at a place called Rockwell for those of us eh. Who Haven't been there could you describe rockwell? Rockwell is a lovely place for US particularly. We've been there for several years now and on Wednesday nights from nine until eleven if I'm in town not otherwise obligated and working We're there we've got a so-called residency and they've been very nice to US generous generous and it's a they serve food there and there's a bar and it's perfect. I think couple of hundred people fit in there and we fill it up once a week and it seems to be conducive to Lively interaction spontaneous music and spontaneous conversation and we just have a blast. There people seem to like it. The what for the vibe leg isn't you know is it. Hardcore Jazz. Fans is it Jeff Goldblum fans is it sort of a mix of that. It always seems to be a mix a surprising. Mix from week to week The either some hardcore fans are because we play with just a great great people. But I it's true. I do get a lot of people who and there was a person last week as a matter of fact Woman who came up and said you know this is the first jazz concert I've ever been to in my life. I've never heard live jazz and and I don't even even know what that much and so I think we got a lot of people like that you know who've who are interested in one thing or another you know maybe about me and Movies and and and Yeah so everybody comes and seems to go away Happy Yeah it's kind of a gateway for some people into into the jazz world a little bit. Yeah well it's a responsibility instability. Can you imagine. Sometimes we're introducing people to you know Sidewinder for the first time Or don't worry about me or some of these standards and you know we try to play it We try to be good now. I can imagine that you probably introduced a few people a few. Maybe at a big show you played over over the summer kind of the opposite of a small jazz club played Glastonbury. There's video online of a little bit of that set. I guess not a ton of jazz pianists. Tests have played outdoor stages of that size at at festivals like that. So what was that experience like playing Glastonbury with your jazz band. It was absolutely lutely amazing. I'd never been there before. And there were thirty. Five thousand people. They told us in front of our state how I know but it felt felt in a way not unlike rockwell where there are a couple of hundred I talked to them and and they they We had a nice conversation all of us and and we played some music circa and I think they get. This is world cafe. I'm Ranariddh speaking to Jeff Goldblum about his new album. I shouldn't be telling you this. It's jazz jazz record. Jeff Goldblum and the mildred snits orchestra. Maybe my favorite track on your new album is make someone happy. Yeah well Gregory Porter come on. You know what happened I we I probably. I probably wouldn't be talking to like this about the second album if I hadn't met him him by chance in an airport some five years ago or whenever it was and I loved his music and I'm crazy about him and I went up to presumptuously and bravely and said Hi my name is Jeff and he said Oh yeah Guy Guy and I said well I'm just. I just adore your music and what you do and I admire care and respect You so much and anyway a couple of years later. I was promoting thor Ragnarok at on the Graham Norton Show in London and he was the musical guest and a he contacted me a few days before and said. Hey you play piano I'm I'm promoting. This can call album and I'm GONNA do Mona Lisa Mona Lisa. uh-huh named you that song. Maybe you could just maybe just you and me. You could play an I could sing. I said Yeah and I looked at it and learned it and we did that. And that's how Tom. Tom Lewis and Rebecca Allen from Decca in London who works with him saw us and said to themselves they told me. Hey maybe Maybe we could do an album with Jeff that might've been not a bad idea and they flew Los Angeles. We talked about it. And that's how the first album came about that live at the capital studios album album and And and after that you know went nicely and they asked us to do another. And that's how the second album came about and and So Anna did we I thought. Hey Gregory Porter we got. We got to cook up something with him and we did it and I I love that. Track Ju- thanks. Oh he's just such a fantastic stick fantastic singer. Let's listen to it gregory porter singing on this one from Jeff Goldblum in the mildred snits our orchestra this is to make someone happy and someone happy. Make just one Someone happy may just one hot. You Sing Mhm Smile it's so so nice. Singer is he spectacular or what is fantastic. He really is too and I like that idea. Make some if you make some what happens. I'm telling my oldest Boy We have two kids. I got a four and a half year old boy and emily. I have a two and a half year old boy river Joe. The younger and Charlie Ocean is the older. And I took Charlie Ocean yesterday to the Huntington Gardens and he said something happened during the trip up where he went. He shouldn't have done it. But you got a big stick. And he was out fishing out coins. Because he's coin obsessed Shiny Penny says from the wishing fountain several of them. They have their any fished went out and he saw couple of frenzy had their from school. We ran into a couple a kids from school any fish to out and he gave one to each of them and I said that's why I said. Why did you do that? He said I just wanted to see them. Make them happy you know and and Let's tell Mama about She's French and so she's insists that they call her mom and she's actually from Toronto. I know you're Canadian. I am from Toronto. I know so so anyway so she so we called Momma then. He couldn't stop talking about the fact that he did that. And I said you know there's this song called make someone happy and And it's a whole song about A how when you make somebody happy. Even one someone happy you can be happy to. That's the upshot of the whole song and he said Yeah Yeah so I liked You know being able to expose them to that bit of I think Good wholesome wisdom and You know he kept talking about how bad that I love it. I love it from Canada. That's right I am the entire Canadian national anthem. I think so I feel like there are a couple of lines. I always stumble on a little bit the French version. I have a harder time with but because you speak French Houston petite we Taibbi well I hardly. I don't so much beyond that and so I'm trying to catch up. As they're becoming bilingual both the kids. She talks exclusively to In French both of them I'm speaking to Jeff. Goldblum live unrolled cafe. My name is Randy talking about the new Jeff Goldblum and the mildred Schnitzer Orchestra at. I shouldn't be telling you this but would also like to talk about your her debut jazz record the Capitol Studio Sessions. It went to number one on the jazz charts in the UK and here in the states in twenty teen. But before you put that out as wondering did you worry at all. That people wouldn't take you seriously as a jazz musician. 'cause you're an actor. Well well you never WanNa make a a Fool out of yourself always uncomfortable. Although I've spent my life you know Risking humiliation public humiliation. So it's not unfamiliar appeared to me and frankly more than acting. Music has always been for fun. Pure kind of fun so even on this you know thrilling occasion Asian of our first release with Decca records. And you can imagine. I knew it would be listened to and you know Assessed by serious people you know. I Once we started to do it I just let the enjoyment of the of the doing of it. Carry me along and and what do I care. He brought a live audience in for it. Which is pretty bold for first album? Why did you record in front of a live audience? Well L. When we start we started to talk about it and what we wanted to do and somebody of course had the connection to capitol records where I'd done a thing or two and that's a wonderful building wonderful studio. Oh and they said Oh yeah we could get studio A. and B. and and make it so it's like a club like at Rockwell over there and and that's what we did and and I'll tell you while we were we did over the course of two nights and while we were doing it felt like a you know you know we could. Even you almost forget that they were recording. It felt like like a fun Happening and Jazz Occurrence you know it really does have that live in the room sort of feeling. There's a this really charming bit between you and Sarah Sarah Silverman. I'm just going to play a little bit of that clip story A little tug Rooney happens this. Did you say yeah my thighs rub together. It's like fire it's like actual fire exits. Are this way that way and bath halfway. Remember if anything combustible happens save yourselves. For God's sake I know let's get jazzy Looking nice that's Newman Sir Silverman. Right before she sings her song on your debut album the Capitol Studio sessions like you you. Sarah may be more well known for her acting or comedy in not so much her musical ability necessarily but we hear that she can say. How did you know that Sarah Silverman can say I think the world of her we've known each other for quite a while? I hosted Saturday night. Live a couple of times and she was that was back when she was a young writer later on the staff. That's how I met. And then I was pals with Gary Shandling and so is she and I found myself on one of his shows and we we overlap that way and so we were in sort of friendly circles. Overlapping and I just adore her. I think she's D- Great and then I'd see her special or her comedy things which has which have all along included some singing and She's she's very musical. She's great we in fact what did we do. Oh Yeah we go on Youtube. There's a very early sort of rehearsal that we did because we did that. Same Duet the me and my shadow for some show that she did and she still does at Largo. That lovely place here in Los Angeles. She she asked me to be a guest and said hey maybe we can do this thing. If you learn this other parts. So I went over to her apartment we she she filmed our video. Dr rehearsal our sole and You can see that some years ago and then when the album when this first album opportunity came up I thought yeah. Let's have her. Let's maybe we'll do that same thing things we tried to refine but mostly didn't do much and just had fun. Yes she's hilarious and I I love very much. Here's how it sounds me and my shadow. Jeff Jeff Goldblum and Sarah Silverman me repeat what I said at the start of her. Why we get finished? I will make the town will change that name Redskins. Is that such a char then. We'll tackle climate change hats off to Al Gore is go back Sarah Silverman singing with Jeff Goldblum. Who's playing piano there me and my shadow from the debut album from Jeff Goldblum and mildred snits orchestra? Jeff Goldblum joins me rain on World Cafe Right now to talk about these new album. I shouldn't be telling you this. I WANNA play another song from the album This one is the one where you teamed up with Miley Cyrus. Could you tell us a little bit about the thrill is gone. Well I love the gun. Well this song I'm like us a few others. Several on this album are sort of we think CANNY MASHUPS in this case. The thrill is gone. We did good where we did it with Django which is a modern jazz quartet. John Lewis Song that Many people know about I had to familiarize earlier is myself with it although the Mj Q.. The Modern Jazz Quartet Was One of my early influences. My brother Rick was a jazz fan. He brought home A bunch of modern jazz quartet records. So I was hearing this and things like that early on but so this is somewhat some Django and some the throughout is gone and I don't know I think I'd been aware of that through you. Know Chet Baker does a does a spectacular version of it and Then then we thought Miley Cyrus and like I say we contacted her and Put them together and tell you when I first heard this I I was also well. It may seem I'm emotional. I'm emotional so I was. I was once again Kinda weepy sort word of knock knocked out by different kind of tears than Fiona Fiona when she sang live for me I was I was I was I was is a it was a deep in a tears started kind of dribble dribble out. This one is sort of knocked over flat on my back and sort of wailing in in in satisfied tears. Okay well you'll want to make sure you're sitting down for this. It's miley Cyrus singing with Jeff Goldblum and mildred roots orchestra. The threes don't appeal to you is gone in the third The thrill is gone. miley cyrus singing with Jeff Goldblum and the mildred snigger. Orchestra from Jeff. GOLDBLUM's latest album. I shouldn't be telling you this I am talking to Jeff himself on rolled cafe. My name is Rena now. The Orchestra's called the mildred snits orchestra mildred Schnitzer. She's a real person. She's not actually in the band. But who is mildred snit tsar militarists netzer lived to be a hundred and four. I think and she passed away some years ago. But you can't complain about one hundred and four we get you and I get that much. I wouldn't be bad but she was a I'm from Pittsburgh originally and she was a friend of my mom my mom's Charlie and And she would come over and she was pounds. You know wish you'd be around under the house We were friends with our and I like that name Schnitzer. Yeah mildred snigger. And so and we're not really an orchestra extrapolate. Let's call ourselves the middle. Mildred SNITS orchestrates. It's kind of cute isn't it. I like it. I know what happened. And then we were playing Like some show was it ten Fifteen years ago and John Mastro our director said in the middle of a gig was in Los Angeles said. Hey Guess WHO's here. I sit here. Netzer he said you really. She has since moved from Pittsburgh to Northern California. Had come down. Didn't hadn't contacted US had come down. showed up at one of our gigs. All dressed up and a sequined gown. She was in her nineties. At this point and We were playing in the middle of a song she appeared and she was. You know bopping around dancing. She was always very physical ahead of time. Exercise Wise and and it was great to see her. Yeah that's Arkestra. That is wonderful. The the idea of her coming down in this sequined gown. No I'm talking to Jeff Goldblum World Cafe. I'm Marina Peres even playing piano for a long time since so you were a kid but even back then you knew you wanted to be an actor even when you're really young correct. Yeah that's exactly right around ten. I got the bug and And my dad had said if you find something you love doing that may be a key or vocational choice. I'd already gotten this idea that Jesus I gotta figure out what I want to be. You know they ask kids all the time time you know so I I I I felt some You know I I knew about that and I thought well actor. That's what I want and I've had my heart set on it ever since up around that same time is when I got alley. Cats started to play and just for on a Lark Got The telephone book. The yellow pages In Pittsburgh against and looked up cocktail lounges around Pittsburgh and from A to Z. Started to call cold call people and say hey. I understand that you need a piano player. Most of them would say. I know you've been miss misinformed. We don't even have a piano here. Some would say well. Who's this you sound? How old you? Yeah yeah well I was fifteen. You know how we got a piano. I don't know you wanNA come over and play play something. We'll maybe maybe you'll come over in Yeah maybe we'll give you a job and I got a couple of gigs that way. How did your parents feel about you? Going to you know cocktail bars. Nice to play music. Well I think they thought it was okay. It was a different time. So of course we'd already been you know you know. Go out the door all day long on our bikes and stay out all day. So I don't think they had the same thing that I would have now if If our kids that's a while from now so they wanted to go out and hang hang around clubs all night but But they the first couple I remember. I think they drove me because I was driving yet. They drove me and were there. And I think they were tickled because my dad was a jazz fan. Anyway he brought Home Eric Garner records. And that's how I I started to get into it. You know misty and all that stuff So he he was tickled about it and then I would. I don't know how I met a singer or to a lady singer and I started sort sort of practice with them. Somebody came over to the house. I remember practicing a little bit. And then they gave me a a ride to a gig or two and I don't know how they I felt about that but Worked out okay. I guess you're one. Didn't she work as a radio. Broadcaster is that true well after we left after you you know she had They had four kids. I was the third of three boys. And then my sister Pam so there were four of us. I can't imagine what what any more than two would be like. They had four and she was young boy. I think she had the first one when she was twenty or twenty one. She had the fourth one before she was thirty at twenty seven or twenty eight so her life was sorta spoken for in those days. And of course You know you know. There was an unequal opportunity field for women. I think doc which thankfully is You know in the process of writing itself But anyway after we left I think she you felt unshackled in some way and had latent and potential energy and interest and enthusiasm and intelligence and talent for all sorts of things and then got a job for a time legend. Has it not that. I've heard not that I heard any I think it was local And I was away by that time in new darker. LA Doing some some radio stuff. That's right I'm talking to Jeff Goldblum World Cafe. I'm Rena satirises. WanNa play the last song on the album now SORTA tie things up here and it's a song written in the thirties. It's been recorded by Perry Harry Komo Bing Crosby Eric Clapton and it's the only song you sing on the album. Could you tell us why you wanted to record little men. You've had a busy day. Well we like I said we had conversations about well. What should we do in this Somebody said well you should sing something really. Well what what would you sing. I said well Um I said you know I have been. I've got these two little kids now and I do sing this song that I've known for a while but I sing it to them when they go to sleep sometimes and Mm sometimes I just find myself in the boys room. They have a room now with bunk. Beds Charlie is on the top and rivers on the bottom and I even when they're not there and sometimes I'd sing it to them now. It's still still and I sing it to them and it's It's very sweet to me level. Play it on the radio right now. Little Man you've had a busy day Jeff Goldblum and the mildred snits our orchestra on World Cafe Little Man. You're crying I know why you're blue. Someone stole your kiddy car away. Go to sleep little. You've had a busy day and little man. You've had a busy day. Jeff Goldblum and the mildred Schnitzer Orchestra from their new album. I shouldn't be telling you this it's out now. It is so lovely I've been talking to Jeff Goldblum here on world cafe. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Take Care Okay you better go to sleep now little man. You've had a busy day. You've been playing soldier. The battle has been one the enemies outta sight just so sweet little man. You've had a busy day. Jeff Goldblum mildred snits orchestra from the new album. I shouldn't be telling you this now. Thank you to Jeff Goldblum for joining me and and thank you to World Cafe Producer. John Meyers for his work on this piece. I'm Raina Durris. Thank you for listening to world cafe from NPR to hear the Bugle. Google softly say time you should be dreaming little man you've had I'm busy

Jeff Jeff Goldblum Jeff Jeff mildred snits mildred Schnitzer Orchestra World Cafe Los Angeles Jeff mildred snits orchestra Fiona Apple mildred snits orchestra Miley Cyrus Sarah Silverman Rockwell Sharon van Etten Raina Durris US Glastonbury Mildred SNITS Pittsburgh
Sarah Silverman

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

2:40:41 hr | 1 year ago

Sarah Silverman

"Maybe hey with a woman's is act can feel you watch in. When I feel cold you want me. And when I feel I can't go on you come in. Oh me. It's you and me forever. Serra Silverman duty do. Welcome to armchair expert has nice never sang an intro, but felt appropriate. Yeah. Ye really took it on tackle that one. Sarah silverman. What a get for us. Oh my gosh. I feel so honored coming out swinging in nineteen going to be hard to top all downhill from here, just saying, well, you know, Sarah Silverman, for Pete's sakes. If you don't know Sarah Silverman than you need to throw your mobile device out the window of your car or just do some googling get to know our right whole over get your phone out of the ditch and YouTube, Sarah Silverman. But look we're super fans of Sarah super. She's incredible. She's so funny. She's so smart. She's the biggest heart, and and she's easy on the eyes to. Yeah. There. I like her I like her. So without further ado, please enjoy Sarah Silverman. Armchairs supported by the most Yemi baby bell Monica, and I have been fighting over the last thirty six hours because she got a big big box of baby bell. A lot of tasty cheese. Listen, the little mouse loves one hundred percent real cheese, and she has been snacking on baby bell and not sharing. I kind of understand his hoarding. They love it. Many bell are rich. Creamy delicious snack cheese that saves snacktime from the boring and the bland there are one hundred percent real cheese. And there for everyone. You know, what I love is. When we get a sponsor of that. We have already been just enjoying on our own for years and years and years, and I'm a big baby bell fan, also baby bell cheese and crackers are so delicious. They're wholesome snack. That's funny. Convenient on the go. Two hundred percent real cheese paired with crunchy mini crackers for no mess. Snacking? We bring these in the car Monica, and you know, how crazy about snacks in the car. Look for baby bell in the deli or dairy section of your local grocery store. And if you get some please share it with me, he's. Are we recording Monica? Oh, wonderful. Yeah. Start do. You don't been do you wanna wear these? I enjoy to. Oh. Because then I know I don't have to project. That's right. I don't even like, I guess I'm so used to going to radio station right in sitting behind like a desk. And then there's the microphone and headphones. Even if I go on stern, I feel very physically uncomfortable. Like, I feel so exposed just sitting on a couch in the fact that it's a headset. Yeah. The headset. The like Janet Jackson thing they have now yet does that does that throw you out of your comfort zone? It all get used to it. Do. Vice? Do you think brought? Yeah. I do in fact that would be something. I would get to later. But yeah, I think you have ice in your veins specifics, my heart next, very, are you kidding? Well, I'll tell you this as a performer not as a human rather. I don't believe in developing a thick skin. I'd rather just have a little more perspective on where things are coming from and understand them or. Oh, that's a good way. Yeah. That's a good way to look at it because I want to feel things in. But it is it is interesting because you're right like in order to be affective. There has to be a distance, you know, like in comedy. If you wanna talk about something, you're very passionate about you have to have some kind of wall or distance just like an emergency worker. Someone who works in -mergency room is going to be more effective if they can. Separate what's going on? Because otherwise, they're going to bleed ING. Okay. Yes. This you know, and you have to be able to have a kind of distance just like social workers and stuff, you know, the you get into it because you're compassionate, L, me medics and in order to be effective. You have to be able to be slightly less compassionate, just objective in being objective is almost anthem to being emotional. And. Yeah, this guy Paul bloom wrote. Wrote a couple of different books, about empathy. And he said, you know, we think of empathy is just this blanket positive thing like of euphemism for any good nature things. He said in point of fact, that empathy is not useful. And he gives his that example, if your surgeon is imagining being in your shoes while operating on you very ineffective, he wouldn't be able to cut into your. She wouldn't be able to cut into you. So or if you were walking along the beach, and you saw someone drowning you don't ending. I always say it wrong. It'll be one of many words, I say wrong throughout the next little bit. But he said, you know, you don't need empathy to act into do good. In fact, if you saw someone drowning the worst thing you could do is to put yourself in their shoes because it would make you hysterical. Right. But the is in the beans comment is simply you have a type of comedy, which has so much quiet in it, which I find to be the. The most scary thing you could do in stand up. There's a few people that really do it in your certainly one of them interested. You're aware of that obviously moments that yeah, I learned that from Garry shandling o'really. He remember him telling me that sometimes what you aren't saying is just as much a part of it as what you are saying. And of course, when you start doing stand up if you don't have the crowd, you'll you'll over talk. You'll talk louder you'll talk faster and that's desperation track. I'm still in that phase of my comedy. Yes. So you have to be willing to. Yeah. Have those those moments? Yeah. I just I find it to be very brave. And in fact, we both listen to stern a lot in in. The Seinfeld interviews I love on their what he says the kind of people. He admires. He admires the comics that can kinda just sit in those beats and be patient and not panic and let all that happen. And that to me is still the most mind blowing kind of confidence you can have on stage. It's very interesting because people are not traditionally comfortable in the quiet moments. And I can give an example of my dad who when we're on the phone if there is a single beat of silence. He goes on. Heartbreaking, even though it's you know, he's fine. But it's it's because he is terrified of those quiet moments. You know that someone's going to give up on him or the conversation will be over like my worst moments of the year are in a long elevator ride with like four strangers. I just find it grueling. I are you super comfy in an elevator. Are you enjoying the awkwardness of it? That's some I have had interior monologues. Where I think everybody here. Standing in. Silence. I'm not the only one standing in silence. Something to be comfortable. And and then other times, I will take it upon myself to be the host of the elephants me, you can count on the fact that around floor six I'm gonna make some joke because I just feel like they all need rescuing idea to and even if I tank it'll be better than the other experience we were having. It's interesting. But I I don't know I'm going back to this. But I have been thinking about them terms of like being too close to something to be effective. It's it's like when I if a cop's wife gets murdered you'd think he'd be the perfect detective on the case because he's he knows about his wife. Of course, he's taken off the case because he's too close to it. Yes. I've heard you make this point. Start. I totally realized what it was about. And and I didn't hear you. As I was watching clips of you in preparation for this. I was realizing how many times you've had to deal with all that kind of done with it. Because that interview all these click bait. Yes, you think you're putting something too bad? It was on purpose. Not what I was saying at all. I know. I know God the recently did this to Kristen. And it was it was just it was a thoughtful interview. And then it got reduced to some sentence that doesn't even resemble the interview. And then that thing, of course, was incendiary to everyone on all political sides. And it just yeah. It's a disaster outlet is immune to is classier classier than doing that. Because the they're all drowning in desperate. Yeah. They all gotta make money in this word paradigm, which that's required. It's all quoted accurate, but nobody clicks. No, no, most people are reacting almost solely to a headline. They saw no one's reading the full article on anything, by the way, I'm guilty of. Yes. Totally guilty of it. But I do now try to be more aware of it. But but when I heard you make that point. I it reminded me of something I always think which is like I will sometimes be against the death penalty. Right. And then someone will smartly say what if it was your daughter that was moved murdered. And I say. I would want that person killed, but we shouldn't have someone that's been the victim of their child dined be making policy for the country. That's the actual last person. Because I'm now so emotional about that there's no way I could evaluate right? The pros and cons of it or be objective. Probably ninety percent of the stuff. We're saying we're too. We are too close to the fire. We are. And then there's the other side of that of of I wish more people who have experienced. Not having money for healthcare. Not, you know, having having education before the rich healthcare for the rich. You know, all these things who people who have touched, you know, Betsy DeVos had any point experienced or or witnessed struggling to get simply in education in the the the richest country in America would have a little more information to go on this documentary. The guy's name is Daryl Davis, he's jazz musician, and he's black and his documentary. Call accidental courtesy accident Kersee. It's it's incredible. He he in the seventies. He's just he was like a professional musician. So he'd sit in with different bands. And I guess in the late seventies or eighties country was kind of big. So we found himself in these different country bars and one guy came up to him saying, how great you played the piano. And then would you like to sit down have a drink? And then he stalking with him and his buddy. And he says what do you do is buddy nudges him? And he's like tell him tell him. He's a no I'm not getting tell me tell he's the grand wizard of the klu Klux Klan and the grand wizard admits him, he's literally the first black guy. He's ever spoken to and his life. He had some Hoge on his whole life without actually conversing with lifers. He then becomes friends with that guy. And he is he's the guy like he goes to his wedding. Just he's going to Klan rallies where they're burning across in over the years. He has reached out to all these different grand wizards or imperial dragons, for whatever they're fun, dungeons and dragons names are and he has gotten fifteen of the leaders to leave the clan, and he collects their hoods and shit in his house, and it's just incredibly cool, and you start realizing oh people you assume everyone had the same experience you did in some people never met a gay person or that they know of go towards love, even Trump was a democrat. But he went towards where he got the love from. That's always what happens. That's why if you engage. It goes usually pretty well. Engage with love, and I'm not saying that's easy or necessarily the right thing to do or that anyone's obligated to do it. But it's pretty fruitful usually. And you see that that, you know, hate comes from this as probably boring at this point, but fear, and you know, the fear fear of what is unknown. I mean when on my show, we went to Louisiana, you know, this family who all voted for Trump. And you know, and they hosted me for. I love you America. Yeah. And she said she said they had to Google Jew. They just had it's not worth their life yet. Supposed to and she said, did you Adam LeVine is one? I did. Get your Jimmy deans. Running the world in my own experience. When I was a little kid, the first people, I became aware of that were Jewish where our neighbors when I was five years old, and I had heard like they're Jewish the in that around the like, you know, little apartment complex. It was very well known. They were Jewish and I am my five year old brain was trying to figure out like, oh, what's what's what makes them Jewish in? The only thing I could figure out was that they were the only people that drove a foreign car. They drove a Beato bug. Detroit and everyone drove an American car. And I was like, oh Jewish people drive foreign cars. That's why they're Jewish. You know, that was the only thing that seemed obviously different about them. I mean, listen my have to you know, I was raised by agnostic at best. Parents and we were Jewish or less than Silverman. But you know, I grew up in New Hampshire and all the parents of my friends would say are you from New York, and I'd go what's new here? But looking back it as an adult, of course, they just thought like Jews are from New York, and that's totally understandable. And I also realize that like I I knew in Nate Louis, but I didn't know why. Or I could have never like articulated this as a kid too. Show my friends parents that I was not scary. And that I was polite and that you know, I was nothing to fear. You know, had this. I I knew instinctively I guess newer somehow, an ambassador for Jewish people in their home, and you know, my older sister. Who is now rabbi, you know, we grew up with no religion, we weren't. But midst Fudd, we didn't we never went to a bar mitzvah. We didn't know at that was growing up. We just didn't grow up with Jews at all. And she thought being Jewish men being a democrat because that's how we're different in our town. You know, for sure so you embraced it. Then you weren't like I don't know what that is an I'm not that run from it. You know, I did a little because I remember a lot. I would say we're Jewish. But like, we're don't we're not like, we don't qualify low with you know, I was kind of qualifying. Yeah. I didn't I didn't understand why I was instinctively doing that. But. You're kind of you're talking about something, and I hope to there's a weird thread through a lot of things. I hear you say in interviews, and then what I witness in my own wife, which is really interesting because you would think reactions are predictable in objectively will go one way or another. What what you really see or what I've seen is? It depends so much on what that person's self esteem is in their sense of power and all these things whether or not they'll be triggered by something. Right. So my example is a lot of people hate Andrew dice clay. My wife had no idea who he was high. I show her a bunch of videos sheet loves it like I did when I was young God, I loved him. And that my prediction was that you probably loved him too. Yeah. Yeah. I remember listening to his records, the comedian friend in New York when as I you know, nineteen. Yeah. And just watching Kristen laugh hysterically, and then I'm also quite aware of that quite. Few women felt like he was a massage and he was terrible. And they hated his thing which I also understand. But I think the main differences that my wife feels very impounded. She doesn't feel like she's powerless or a victim often. She's attained a lot of cultural capital, there's all these reasons where it doesn't trigger anything for her. I agree. But I think it's even more. So because I think she would be not personally triggered, but she would be very defensive of protective of women who are in vulnerable positions. If she felt that it came from a as a literal or sincere place within him, right? Like she was able to evaluate his intentions and she decided his intentions weren't. Yeah. He's. Horrific. I think absurd that scene out in my takeaway because I've argued with a few people on here about Andrew dice clay's, very polar comedian. But but my wife's boss, Mike. Sure, really dislikes him and always has. And even when your kid, you didn't think it was funny the nursery rhymes and everything and you just never liked him. And you do recognize it is a send up of that archetype. Like, it's he's in on the joke. He's pointing out what to do bag. This guy is right. I would love for you to have them on your show. Because I I'm not sure. But I I have to believe that certainly how I I it. And so that's how the art was in to me. Right. Right. But it could I could be making a terrible mistake. But he is he he's not he was very powerful at that time too. So I kind of understand like Nora Dunn feeling the way she felt, you know, in a time where starting at live probably. It's felt it may be felt like it echoed genuine experience their time. I I don't know because I wasn't there them. But suffices if you're a woman who just recently got someone yelled at you on the street. Hey bitch. I'd like to put my tongue in your ass. And then the first line you hear him saying, so I've got my tongue up this chicks s that's a different context by which you're receiving that. Right. I mean, you could you could come into it having just experienced guys being complete assholes and truly misogynistic. And then you see that. And it looks like more of that. I guess the point I'm trying to make the receiver has such a big role in this whole like when you say a guy on the street says Bill now when I was nineteen in New York remember walking by construction workers and getting cat called and looking back at them. And and the guy saw me look back. And went not you. I was like sad. It was. Yes, sir. I'm much older self possessed. And I'm just a different Mike. My. Commodity is is isn't necessarily sex. Did you have like a wake for that? I think you're wrong about that evaluation. But that's that's fine. But so now if I'm judged by my looks, it's such a treat, and it's and if a guy cat called me, it'd be like me. Sweet. His tongue. My full is like then makes me cry like from move doesn't even know if you've showered he's just trusting that you're clean first penis. I ever saw was my boss at a restaurant. I worked at and talk restaurant, and he wouldn't have done that to me now. They have an innate instinct of what they can get away with and with whom they can get away with this is something where I didn't tell my parents. I didn't tell anyone about it for so many years, and I can't figure out why. But the he must have known at least eight -ly why? You know, because gosh, if he had done it five years later, I would have. Been spoken about it. Yes. You would ashamed him dramatically. Probably they certainly wouldn't have internalized that. Shame. And so I mean, it is it's very interesting. What we in Nate Lino as humans what he nightly knew what I did as a kid is being like the Jewish kit or all those things that we don't know why we know them, and we couldn't articulate that we know them. But we do. Yes. Well, I was thinking about this either day. Monica nine talked about at length, and I'm trying to think of a way to bring it up on here. But it's so dicey. But I'll just say from my very own experience. So I was molested as a kid and the guy who did it. The whole reason I was even around this guy repeatedly was he had a go cart that I really wanted to buy. And he kept saying that he was going to sell me this go-cart for cheap been. So all of the ugliness happens in for years. I will I I don't even tell anyone for years. And there are so many things going on, you know, as a young male where I grew up. The worst thing you could be on a playground as a girl, but only worse than that was a fag. And so I thought oh, I'm a homosexual now because I did this thing. Plus, I was all these things. Right. And I later admitted it to this female for new mine who'd kind of told me about how she'd been attacked by gun. I felt like I gotta meet her halfway beyond us about myself. And I told her and all of a sudden it just got started getting easier and easier needier, but over the years. Yes, talk about and over the years. What I've come to realize a big bulk of the shame isn't what he did to me. The big. Bulk of the shame is that I played a role in it. I wanted something from this person. I wasn't a situation that I didn't like and I knew I didn't like it. But I kept going forward because I wanted that thing, and I have to imagine for so many survivors of trauma like that. So much of the thing you can't get over as your own involvement, and you need to for me. I needed to go. Oh, yeah. You were eight dude. You really want to go car? It's okay. You need to forgive yourself. And then what I was thinking about was almost all of these interactions, barring those where you get tackled in an alley. Most of these situations someone has leverage over someone in the leverage. Is you want something from that person? And they've recognized that and they're going to try to get their devious plan executed using this leverage. And I think all of us carry around the guilt of having been succumb to the leverage. People have Oshii them Bisciste. She was being impish. Forbid you wanted something for yourself. Yes. And I bet a lot of people there were bells going off going gotten myself in a dicey situation. I shouldn't be here. And I think I almost think that's where the bulk of the healing needs to happen is like you just admitting a yeah. I heard my intuition, and I really wanted something. And that's okay. I'm a human. And that's what we do. And it's okay. Can you are still taking advantage of? Yes. There is no part of what he did. That was. Okay. No, absolutely not. But I I find that like the real the real stuff you Russell with or just speak for myself, the stuff I Russell with his mind, mistakes, not yours like you may have done something to me in the past. And they'll be mad about it for two weeks. But it's me when I lay in bed. I think fuck I really was mean to that person twelve years ago. I'm just carrying my shit. You know last night when I was falling asleep. I thought of something that I did. Dynamic that I created with a man that if it was the other way around would have been very clearly not, okay, right? I'm sure he wouldn't mind with easy comedian. And he's he he did stand up. He writes now, he's he's very successful great guy, and I had such sexual prowess. I was very confident, and he was very kind of shy, and he gave me a ride somewhere. And I was talking very sexually very explicitly at him. You know, and it was it felt like power really was remembering this last night, and I was talking about sex and orgasms and this and that and I think there's Bermuda got off on making him uncomfortable. And then he said. Will when I come. I come a lot. Oh. How? Me up. And we I laugh, but it was in. I am. Shut me down like it was brilliant because I was feeling so powerful in the power was coming from making him uncomfortable. And then he made me uncomfortable in this. He did. I mean, I'm in all of it. But coming over the top on the bet he liked raising. I see that. Now fucking double that race. I don't have great cards. I was hoping you'd full not. But anyway, the point being that I thought. Wow. If that was the other way around we would be very familiar with what that is. And why it's wrong, and I just thought oh my goodness. I should call Chuck Martin. On the phone. But you know, it's interesting because these things aren't tit for tat because we live in a patriarchal. And so that guy had the confidence to come over the top, you know, he just an eight Lee from the site. He lives, and he's like, I can always fight back. I know I guess what? I what he said. I am. I am. I fully supportive of it. And I wish I could remember the things I was saying, but yeah, I it was right of him. Yeah. Yeah. Present. I was I was. Using my power to degrade him in a way. I think you're your own titillation in museum just to as as feeling power in this in this world, I think yeah. To justify it. But I thought ooh. Or like when everything was happening this year with me too and everything and I thought oh my God. I walked into the writer's room when he said Jocelyn, I I I'm your boss, and I shouldn't have made you look at my puberty. Worked for me, you that was a situation where maybe, you know. Of course, they said this in front of the whole writer's room. And she was like, no, it's okay, sir. I, you know. Oh, well, we'll was convinced that I have straight Bubes really didn't believe me. I wouldn't have believed that, but then my friend Chris Ramana said it's because it's just from like the day. But is it on flattened? Yeah. But even of the shower, I mean, there may be a bit of a wave, but just very interesting now if you were to let it grow to its full capacity seal, it's there right now, that's fantastic. Because it's been you know, it's winter. And I haven't it gets cold. What happens is I just take the beard trimmer and put it on a one. But it said a pretty full so city full length and every and it's dry. You've got on shower key. Yeah. It is. It is. Say it straight. I have a mental image in my head probably wrong. Where's yours? Come from. I know reminds from. Oh, no. I'm just picturing a new image head. I don't have a reference point. But I picture like your hair down, lying flat. People think straighten my hair, I think 'cause I'm Julie. But it is it's pretty straight. I have stray wonder if people think that do they think that, but I think everyone. Yeah. The Houston other women accuse you of straightening. But if I'm in like a hair and makeup chair for the first thing, they go, do you straighten your hair, and I go, no, it's not currently New York private betel farming town. Well, I have an image in my head. And it's from that film. I was telling you about the other day, the comma sutra they made a movie, and it was like on Showtime when I was not one movie, it was a regular movie. But it was definitely a soft chorus. All right now a ton of nudity and stuff, right? In one would be a woman with it would show women with full bushes. Full bushes on which I love and was very long and very straight, which I had never seen straight on Indian girls. Yes. It was straightened out they straighten that then you flat iron the bluish shore took a hot O rien to that at any rate. He was sticking straight out parallel to the floor. She was standing Drake. Wow. So that's what I was picturing for you. When you just said it was strong. It just lays flat down like. Yeah. Okay. Great wiry, but not curly in its did people corroborate when you showed them at your work where they like. Oh, you're right chows was like, yeah. And then Glenn was like, no minor like that too. Then she showed me and hers are like that too. Oh, what this thing is that. There. I mean, I guess if out of the shower, I like scrunch dried it. Ramp going mater, go to bed with it. Wet. That's what I do. If I want to have a little body in my hair. I go to bed with my hair. Still a little damp out of the shower. When I wake up it's got waves really Myers, bone straight. Not unlike your pubic hair, it is straight is country roads. That became catch. Well, what you really want to do if you wanna get a good curl is while it's wet you braid it could do little braids. And then in the morning you release the braid. And then it's nice and crimping curly. Please. Do that report back to the nineteen? If that if it worked as pew braid, it go to bed with it, wet and braided and then see just see I don't think I could braid it. I mean, it's only like at its longest it's probably an engine house for really that full length. I don't know. I mean, I don't know how how like a year of not would be. Yeah. It's not, you know, I like a nice full. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's fantastic. For more armchair expert. If you dare we are supported by policy genius. No one wants to think about getting life insurance. 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We are supported by stamps dot com. It couldn't be easier to send packages letters anything. You like using stamps dot com. There's no reason Monica to go to the US postal service. Stop going, I stopped. That's right because we ship over merge with stamps dot com. And it's so convenient has all the amazing services of the post office right at your computer? And you don't even have to go drop it off the mail carrier picks it up. It's so easy. There's no hassles. No lines. I used stamps dot com because it's so easy. And I don't have to leave my house, which I hate to do in right now, you can enjoy the stamps dot com service with a special offer that includes a four week trial plus postage and a digital scale. So start the new year off, right? Make a resolution you can actually keep go to stamps dot com. Click on the microphone at the top of the homepage type in Dax that stamps dot com and her do they looks. You did bring him something that I think about a lot again. This is in no way excuses. Anyone shit like it's not an excuse. But I do know in my own experience. It's weirdly hard to recognize the power and privilege. You have like you don't ever feel. I don't ever even when I'm like, the director of a movie and clearly these hundred people are asking me questions ice still feel like fifteen from Michigan. I don't I just don't you know, what I'm saying. It's weirdly hard to recognize that. Oh, I guess people. Do see me that way, it almost feel eagle maniacal acknowledge that about myself that I I think you're probably a collaborators. But I mean, you're this is different being the the director on said is different from acknowledging white privilege. No, I no, no, no, no. But I'm saying even your example where you are at work. And all of a sudden, you go, I've showed my pubic hair. Employees. I don't I don't feel that way. We're in a writer's room. I throw out garbage and they feel comfortable saying. Our navy yard. And we we collaborated moon. Yeah. I am the I'm the boss, but I don't I don't feel you don't feel like the boss do all right to knowledge that to these twenty nine year olds. I certainly am. It wouldn't be I in terms of looking at what what we're all the national conversation around. Yes. Show-bizzy conversations around at the very least, you know. I it's important to acknowledge it when I'm wondering is the moment you driving in the car, and you were saying pervy stuff. Did you have a you were recognizing that you were in kind of an elevated status. No power in life at the time or anything. But I I guess, but but I felt. A sexual prowess that I was feeling myself internet. I mean, I was just I was just I was just remembering this memory last night as a bed and and thinking about if that were the other way around and yes, you're right. We live in a patriarchy in its it isn't the same. It's not tit for tat. But I do also. And I'm not worried per se about this. But I want to be conscious of it that when women takeover, and we are living in a matriarch. He that it is inclusive, and we don't just become old white men because. I think there are examples of that now with women, but you know, would just in terms of its is that the person or the power there's been some damn dark female leaders throughout history. So to me, there's a lot of proved to same powers corruptible. You know, the reason to be a billionaire, right? Other than ego. You couldn't spend it in a lifetime. But what is weird about that though is that? So that's a very obvious. Yes, that's true yet fears which motivate so much of what we do. They are generally irrational to begin with. So the fact that you could have a kind of a rational answer to something that's irrational in my case. I have a ton of fear of economic security, for whatever reason just the way I was raised. I obsess about it. I don't need to have plenty enough money to not think about it yet. I also aware of the fact that I can imagine having eight hundred million dollars in thinking, I gotta get a billion just norm safe is stupid in Russia's because all things being driven by fear, which is just rich people never have enough money. That's why for like I keep my overhead so low because I'm not married. I don't have kids, and I need to make sure that I can afford like metal, you know, medical care. I'd like to have like a live in nurse in my old age. I'd like to live with friends, you know, I'd like to have a want to be able to live out my years, laughing and comfortable and healthy. And so I I definitely think about those things but at the same the minute that number right? Whatever number you would decided make would make you feel safe. It just keeps changing right? You're doesn't. I don't know. I mean, I wanna make sure they're a lot of as we all do a lot of people around me taking care of. And so it's just. Yeah. I definitely. I definitely want to have a wanna make money while I'm in earning near you wanna make hay while the sun shine. I I don't know how to tackle this thing. I wanna talk to you see like, generally, I feel like I know like the points along the conversation. I wanna have. But I don't here's what I want to start with. I ran into you Comecon five years ago. Maybe six years ago, you were promoting the first Reckitt Ralph you were backstage with John C Reilly in. Then Kristen I walked up, and I saw you and you had just been on stern. And he told some really funny story on stern. And there was a really sexual part of whatever joke. It was. And I can't even really remember now. But I like soon as I saw you. I went straight to that. I like went straight to all my God. That thing you did. And it was so graphic. But it was your graphic. It wasn't mine. You know what I'm saying? I was like Richard Christie's balls. No. It was something more like sexual to you your own sexuality was the story involved your own sexuality, and then I just launched right into that. Right. And it kind of it fell very flat. Let's say that like, I remember number all of this. I mean, this is the hilarity of centers have that game. All right to that thing. I wouldn't. I'm sure it twice about it. Right. Okay. We'll thank you. But this by the way, this how almost all amend when you make amends. They go this way. Like, I remember. But for years it's been bothering me. And I remember looking at Chris. She just kind of give it looked like it was a very big swing and just kind of like. No pleasantries. I just got right to this pervy that like let's say that you had had an hour interviewing whatever the very pervious thing, you said in that interview is what I immediately said I liked about that interview. And I remember John Zarrella just kinda going that was a pretty strong statement, blah, blah, blah, we walk away. I've moulded over for years. And here's some other thing. I don't remember. I don't remember. But I don't think it's incredibly relevant. This is what I want to go through. Then of seen you even watched a bunch of interviews with you this morning, and I noticed like if you do Andy Cohen you have to answer who you would fuck, right? Ironically, he asked if you would fuck me that was one of like, I don't know how I made that list. It was like Tom Selleck you wanted to know about. I I really don't maintain. How can you you do? So many interviews. You just be they they you rightly data dump those to make room for real life. Don't that's great because honestly, even like specials as soon as they're done. They're out there of my brain. Yes. Remember single one. Yeah. And is probably is weird. You right. That like fans of yours. I may remember more of your jokes than you do just kind of dump it out after. But right. Yeah. By the way, you said you would not have sex with me that was your answer because you're married to Christie. No. But I felt like even like I mean that was reitera those probably the inside and out. Was probably the correct answer. But I was like, oh, she would because you say Tom Salik, and I was like. Also, just this. You know, when you're talking it's basically fantasy and like he seems like Republican issue. And you know, I have like there's like a fantasy you want different things than what you want and realize you can almost two I think there's like literature on this. You can kind of be attracted to your presser. It's kind of like what stopping center. I know this is the weirdest thing to put out there right now. But just anecdotally in my own experience. I couldn't look more Aaron, and I grew up among a lot of Jewish people west Bloomfield, Michigan, and I found that those Jewish girls were inordinately attracted to me way, more than the blonde girls. Yeah. And I thought there's something psychological going on here. You know, it's not like, I'm that objectively just handsome. There's something happening here. I'm could it be darker than the guy who created J date met his wife on J date, and she's Asian Jewish guys in Asian. Oh, really, not all but very much. Well, that's one of the many stereotypes about Jews people that I like is that they say Jewish men. Make the best husbands. Have you heard? That stereotype I've heard that. Yeah. Yeah. I will say. Being with myriad types of men. Right. And I really have I think I wanna grow and figure out you know, what I'm drawn to more. But I do have very good taste in men. I love my ex's. I mean, I love them. But I don't I've never understood how you stopped loving someone couldn't agree with you more friends with every ex girlfriend. I had I don't like if you loved someone. I don't understand how you turn that off still very much go fuck it, you know. But I I love I love them like they feel like family like something for me a door slides up in the whole sexual component is completely on. Right. But I just the love is. So they're still I don't understand evolved. Most people don't have that. They need a separation once it's done. I accept that. It's volved. But I also think there might be a fucked up part of me that needs to always know your liked by the person. I don't know. I'm just leaving it open that it might come from. A weakness. Not strength. I don't know. But yeah. But I think ultimately, and is is strength to not be like, hey, you know, had all they wasn't something. I felt like I needed to overcome and understand and realize it's it's really it's the it is like the Silverman. Seems like the Silverman sister way, we all are all out another theory, which would be largely depends on how that you exited that relationship. So if you're someone who found out they had fucked your best friend and your sister, and all this stuff, and blah, blah, blah. And then maybe you want it be as loving. But if you're someone that in a relationship has always demanded respect that generally when you leave relationships you don't feel like a victim, you're smiling. Like one ear boyfriends fucked your sister and your. Perspective and time. I, you know, I do still love me at all. But there was someone that did something similar to that. Yeah. Okay. By the way of Bennett. It would never occur to me in a million years that he would cheat. I've have been cheated on. I never in a million years thought it, and so it was. Shocking. But you know, I it changed me in a way that I wasn't happy to be changed where like in my next relationship. I said if you cheat on me, I will murder you and go to jail forever because I wanted to make sure I don't want to ever wonder I want to just no it won't happen. I I can't imagine doing that to someone. I'm with I don't even see other men as sexual beings. If I'm with someone. I turn that off. I mean, I, you know, well MO. And it sounds like it's easy for you to turn that off is it easy. Yeah. I have to ask myself about the relationship. I'm yes, I'm going to say something also even worse than the last couple of things I said, but the other day, I was saying, you know, a genuinely feel bad for pedophile because I I have never had to talk myself out of an urge towards a child. I just don't have that. I'm not wrestling with that. It's not like, you know, I'm just stronger. I don't have that. So. Yeah. That's I can't imagine anything worse than having to talk myself out of. But now strain I've had terrible time with I have to talk myself out rain. Yes. Impasse relationships for sure I have had an open relationship. So I've come in my twenties. I was like, look, I I'm not I can't do this. When I was nineteen and twenty I needed to know what every man's balls. Look. But I also when I dated someone I would say when I'm with you. I'm with you when I'm not with you don't worry about where I am. Okay. Well, that's how I was too. I was never dishonest about it. I just I knew my limits. I was someone who was wrestling nonstop about it. Yeah. Part of it. I'm horny bigger part of it. I'm approval junkie. I need approval from people I deem as having status or beauty or whatever thing I need that approval. So I'm I've fallen victim to that many time thing I will say about Jews in general from what I understand the religion of Jewishness is that sex is a positive thing. Even just not for recreation. Not just for recreating, but for enjoyment shar, I loved having. I lost my virginity as a comedian. When I was nineteen that seems kinda late. Yeah. Doesn't it? I also like didn't get my period until I was almost eighteen. Super tiny. When did you get moves? I got boobs like I got my period and boobs in like seventeen and all of a sudden, I was like this sexualize being, but I had never been. I'd always been just the Corky. Funny. Little scrawny kid. You know, that's interesting because that kind of gets to a bed wetter till I was like sixteen. Do you think that was part of it because I was little there's there's there's a bit of a mystery with you to me, which is your super tractive. You've always been super-duper attractive since I can see in my head the very moment. I I saw you were on episode of weekend update uncertain live. And I was like they've got a ten on Saturday Night Live. This is this is crazy. And then I'm one of my first trips, Los Angeles. I saw you at a bar, and I was like oh my God. There's that girl, and she's so beautiful in person into know that you chose the lane of like hanging out with dudes and being comedian as always felt curious to me because I'm assuming you look just like you looked at nineteen when you were fifteen, but you didn't. So you're like a scrawny what kind of kid were you in high school? I was popular in that. I was I got along with all the different clicks. I stayed on the periphery. Okay. So I was liked but any problems with anybody? And I wasn't. I didn't have boyfriends percent. I had a couple friends, but we never did anything more than like kiss a little bit. I was just like I wasn't. And we're you funny. What was your stock trade? Yeah. I was funny. So when you would get along with people it was like that was the first foot you were putting forward. Yes. Sarah was the funny one, you know, so I got along. And I I you know, I got along with everybody cause any waves, and I was not in Inouye threatening to anyone is them. And I wonder what when you turned into the thing you then turned into. Was that? Well, you must have and no I think most people do I don't think you do which is so fascinating. I mean, you're like, yeah. You're a unicorn in that you could have just been like a beautiful actress that's not I would've loved to be Inonge enu. That's what I wanted. That was my dream. I learned very early that wasn't available to me. Well, 'cause girls are the wacky friend. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. It was there like you see Jenny slate starring things and stuff. And and, you know, oh, very exciting and NBC executive who is Jewish a man who told me the only attractive Jewish woman is Natalie Portman, you know, so she was the only one who. And I love her transcended her Jewishness. She was allowed to play people who deserved love. I talk about this. And this is my experience. But believe me, I know that there are plenty of women of color that are that are just starting to be able to also you know, that, but they understand too. It's like, you're the your mama Monaco's, an actress ones less you saw the female lead of show or movie. That. Yeah. Yes. It's the walls are just breaking down. But I mean, yeah, this was I was told in no uncertain terms that I was you know, I could be the exposition for the the, you know, I could say, but you could read here, and he loves you could recap like the second act and Sarah bunch of those. I just decided that's not I'd rather just do stand up or do my own thing. Right. Because here's something I've noticed in Hollywood. I have to mention you've seen it too. Which is there are a lot of men in Hollywood who they didn't get girls growing up. And then they Cheever this level of fame that gives them access to all these women. Right. And there's something it's like hard for them to compute. I've seen like the result beat many different things I've seen it be massage knee on some level. Like, they hate women because now the women like them to rage. Also, they want it all you want Kimmel. When I dated him. I remember him saying I would never want a date someone who wouldn't give me the time of day in highschool someone who I know wouldn't right school. And that's very rare for man. I totally what you see a lot of in extends beyond just women, but they end up occupying this kind of alpha status role, but they just weren't that person in high school they've kind of no training, and the just mis manage it or they're they're doing what they've seen a move. I don't know. It's all clumsy. Imagine is cool guys. They all were like, I know guy who was like definitely was a nerd, and then became very popular. And he's he's wonderful. But it's like he gets tans anywhere leather jacket because that's what the cool horsh. And. Yeah. It's like, yeah. Yeah. So I'm, but I'm wondering you weirdly, so all through high school, you kind of you we make our identity right in high school for me was I have ninth and tenth grade. I just I couldn't a little crazier. I mean, I was six three one forty long straight hair and back Perman top huge knows acne. I was a fucking mess. Montagne? My brother convinced me that we needed to get perms because our hair didn't have enough body. And I did it. My view is mildly trae. Yeah. Yeah. St issue. I guess and God bless those two years because I said, oh, look this face of yours isn't going to get you in the door. You've got to be funny. You gotta get a permanent when that didn't work. I'm like, it's time to be funny. And you gotta be a good dancer. These are the things you're going to be and those things I put a lot of time into. Luckily, and then I turned out normal looking. But boy, those years kind of defined me who I am. There are people who grow up with affluence or beauty. And honestly, like my heart goes out to a lot of them because they do not have skills for life, and they never had to have a personality and that can't be enjoyable. But clearly when you hit nineteen and you go through puberty, you're very attractive virginity to comedian. And then. And then it was I just like every. And I got a reputation for fucking comics that I in my defense women are attracted to smart funny. You know, all those things like, you know, I wanted peers not just peers, but people who are who are whole areas to me that was what was attractive to me, and it's unfair to say, well, she fucked comics, and he will he just fucked waitresses, I wasn't drawn to fucking waiters was drawn to fucking brilliant. You know, people that you know, and and guys in general were fine. Fucking waitresses. This is not to put on waitresses. I've been waitress it used broad strokes. They could fuck every waitress in every town on the road and not get rid Dacian hall. And I was in like people who I adore, and like are, you know, they're still in my life because their comics. But like it wasn't anyone? I wasn't fucking more people than the guys know anyone you would've fought they would have said she only does blank. It's the difference between male and female sexuality. It's like guys get to do whatever I didn't have a guilt around my sexuality until I was told to select to me, I was like I remember I kept knock seem on my backpack. So that I can wash my face forever. I wound up. Like, I was like what is ball's? Look like what is ball's look, and it didn't seem to me to be. I wasn't getting a favors in exchange. I everything I got from my own merit. I remember even no one's going to buy a ticket to see you perform because you fuck someone. They love is a comic. That's not really at work. So the calculus fuck your way to the top and comedy funny. But have you ever like kinda drill down into that a little bit? Which is you know, for I have female friend who's a comic. She's very funny and she likes this guy. And she was saying, but he, but he's not funny. I don't know like I can be with someone who's not funny. And I said, well, walk me through that like your frayed, you're going to go to a party, and he'll be boring, and that will kind of embarrassing you like your wife is funny like that's part of what you're attracted to. But I'm dead honest about what is happening for me in my own ego, which is. As I sit and I said to her and I'd say it to myself. Are you sure that you're bothered? He's not funny because he's not going to entertain it as much as you want the approval of someone who's also very very funny and smart that the only way that it'll feel good is that the the approvals coming from somebody that you respect and admire. Yeah. I when I think of practice attraction, but that's bullshit. There's layers going on of attraction that are your ego beans filled, right? I would say for me looking for a man he doesn't. I would like it. If he was funny if he's not funny. That's fine. But he has to know that he is not funny. I try to be very much not attractive to someone who thinks he's funny and is not funny. Yes. That is. That is a rough. Yeah. Would not date in my father. I got my sense of humor from him. And he would display everywhere we went together, and it was quite cute in rough for me at times. But. Stay tuned. For more armchair expert. If you dare we are supported by vital farms. I'm so proud to have them as a partner there, so ethically harvested and now vital farms is in the butter game. Monica. I love butter butter. So good. I slathered on everything. I think Kristen just posted some pictures of me just pounding gluten free crackers covered in vital arms butter. Listen, just like their eggs, which are pasteurize. So are there cows that produce the butter most cows live indoors on cement floors. They don't get to go outside or graze vital farms has pasture raised butter from cows at our freedom Rome on real passers. They can eat grass. They can go outside. It makes for a richer milk in a way more delicious butter in vital farms knows when their animals are happy everyone else's happy to this butter is rich and creamy at want you to put a dollop on your favorite vehicle for butter. Try vital. Butter from naturally raise cows for naturally better butter. No concrete necessary for one dollar off vital farms Pasha, raise butter had divided farms dot com slash butter slash Dax. Okay. I'm I'm going now all the way back to the sexuality thing. Because I so I've noticed that when you're on shows you get asked different questions than say, a male comics gonna get Aston. I guess if you notice that like an I I'm super guilty of it. When I have been around you when I was younger, I'm very conscious of the fact that you're very attractive. I this is the most exciting podcast. This is dead shrew. Like, you're you're crazy funny. I I'm a fan of your comedy, but you're super pretty and so I can't stop kind of being aware of that in. I think I've always in some way wanted some validation from you that that extended beyond just you being funny, and I have to imagine many of the people around you have had a similar thing. And is that exhausting. Are you even aware of it? You don't need to be aware of it that some you. I would imagine just wanna be valuated on being funny. But there's this sexual component. I would say that right now in my life. I I love being objectified. It's it's thrilling at this point. I mean, Natasha Geraud whose brilliant lover every time I would see her. I just the she does something to me aesthetically that I just my face hurts from smile. Aisling when I just see her, and I look at what she's wearing. And she just is. And I would just always like I just want to eat you like a piece of candy like, I just I can't even take it and one point because you know, I'm more than that. That such a given him such a fan. But she also is just so aesthetically like. Just she just does something to me chemically. Yeah. She feels so good on my eyeballs. I completely of course. I understood when she was like, I'm comedian. I'm an into and it was just. And it was just need to me. Because of course, don't reduce me. Just but it is true. It's like women are just fucking demonized. If they lose their lugs in any way, or if they if if they try to do something to their face to try to make them look asshole. So there's there's it's like lose-lose just by not dying that punished by not dying and continuing to live in that. You're my faces. I like the way I look, but I mean, it's it's point dear it's my skin is looser. My eyes are closing a little I could feel like the my face falling off my face a little bit. And I'm trying to embrace it. I mean, it's it's really fascinating. It's a very slow moving horror movie. But I do think that it could have happy ending because sometimes I go, I'm not young. Hot. I don't know that that's not my power anymore. But different kind of power, you know. But here's my point is if I was talking to George Carlin, if he was here, I would have a million questions about his comedy. I would never make him walk down a path where I talk about his looks. But I am so drawn to talk about your looks. And I have to magin, that's nauseating. I also imagine I need to not deal that I'm sense. Okay. Sense. That it doesn't seem like it bothers you. So remember being on Jimmy show? And and you know, I I love Jimmy. As a football shirt or baseball. Shirley is my thing at the time. You know, like, and he goes, oh, you always wear a football shirt or something? And I and I remember thinking, and I maybe I said this. But I just said you, you know, you know, what? Seinfeld Lewis wears a button down on the show, you're going to white where a button down. You'll always have a button down. Just fucking what I'm wearing. Yeah. Like, I can't imagine a guy like every time Adam Cruellas on your show. He wears a maroon button down with a black blazer. You never mentioned that you don't point that out. Yeah. I guess Jay leno's down on his show a lot. But yeah, he's always in denim on denim. Oh, look Denham. So it hasn't do you think being pretty though? Stop talking about it. But I'm gonna keep talking about it. I'm trying to own it and work through it. And I'm trying to understand why do it in and just call myself out on it. But I saw this at the groundlings when I was going through the groundlings I found that the girls are women that were really attractive weirdly had a harder time. Now that you're ever gonna feel bad for those people. But I think it elicited some jealousy with the other female cast members. I think people that were watching the audience warrant accustomed to seeing someone pretty be very funny. Like, I think there were just weird. Hurdles that I noticed that. I thought oh, that's so weird. I never thought I'd be sympathetic to someone who's really attractive, but in comedy, it's can be dicey. I think what makes people funny is. A survival skill that they developed in childhood so alive times. It was the fat kid making the fat jokes before anyone else could or the ugly. You know, whatever ugly, you know, whatever. And so for me, I would say I was very hairy very hirsute. You know, especially you know, I was in a very blonde. Strawberry blonde world. Yeah. And I was teased for that. I was a bed wetter and sent to sleep away camp every summer, and so I had a healthy amount of adversity. To to to make me, very funny. Right. But there's all it isn't what you're looks are not always eared versity. I think maybe growing up a glee as you did. Yeah. But like. And go like, you're good looking white guy. Oh, it's so hard for you everybody. There's there's there's always going to be someone who has it harder. And always going to be someone who has it not as heart. You know? I mean, people are used to what they are used to. And when they see something that is not what is from their Rolodex of what they know. It's going to be harder for them to believe that is not on a woman who looks certain ways way too. That's not their problem. But I will say a lot of times, you know, you might hear a white male. Writer for me. I'll say comedy row white male comedy writer who says I can't even get a job anymore. I can't get a job because I'm a white man to that. I say sure you can you just have to be undeniable like everybody else besides. Right. Right. Right. Indispensable. And and and undeniable, and and I believe in you. I think you can do that. But men don't take that extra. They don't go not men men, but some men hashtag Nuttal meant so men go. Oh, it's harder for me. Now that's not fair. And they don't take that extra step and go, oh, this is how it's been for everybody else. And it's like, I don't even think it's at the point where it's like everybody else. We're don't even there. Yeah. Not not even close. I only ask able to take it. One more step to see take it beyond their own selves. And completing a couple of different topics actually because I will say that I've been told by other comedians, I admire like, hey, dude, you can't be in good shape. Like, that's not what a comedian is in good shape. Which is a weird. There's a weird bracket. Black comedians can be in great shape. Like Eddie Murphy was a sex symbol, and he dress cool in a leather suit. And he can do that white guys aren't supposed to do that. It's very interesting fascinated with say wave your whole thing is your rock-hard Avs it not wildly funny. Running Murphy wasn't lifting shirt showing his ads on his poster for his comedy special. He wasn't there are some people who do that. And I find it. And I think they're funny in its, but there's something heartbreaking about it. Because. It isn't. You know, I remember seeing and this is. A comedian say medians headshot and has headshot was to whatever. Fancy cars. Are. I don't know anything about cars Maserati. Harari park like this. And then his foot up on one. And that's just not what comedy is you. It's an underdog thing, and it isn't cool to like stuff. I mean, that's another thing that I'm lucky about him. Never understood it. I don't I don't know. What? Like, what special Ed diamonds that other people can't have them? You know, like, I just. You don't like I just. Never understood fancy cars or expensive or things as never been anything that. I've luckily for me pinned my worth on if anything the op, I mean, I just I would be so embarrassed to drive a a schmancy car have stuff. I don't have storage in my apartment. So it's like, I can't even have stuff. I can't can't fit it on a shelf. I it goes all by think that probably just speaks to you having found a lot of film invalidation in attention through doing something else. I'm not into stuff. Well, okay. Yes. But what I'm saying is I can be mildly sympathetic when I see the guy in front of Jerry's deli. And he's in a lamb regaining. He's making a real meal out of getting into this car. He's been there for fucking eight minutes, and I'm trying right at first this douche, I hate this guy would lose her, blah, blah. And then go, you know, this guy. Probably isn't funny. He can't dance. Can't write wheelies on a motorcycle. And he wants what I want. And I'm no better. He just doesn't have the tolls. Way of validation is somewhere the fucking valley at Jerry's deli. I find it repugnant. But I I'm also sympathetic. All we're all want the same things love. Yes. We all want to same thing. We want like approval in love and people to be attracted to us, not even meaning romantically drawn to us, and we're all trying all these various techniques and some of them are really egg on the face. I find the, you know, the purple amburgey needs to be a bummer, but but I feel terrible expensive car than girls. Will I'm rich. And then the like me, and then I go why are those the girls you want? Yeah. Welder better than no girls. I think that it's hot that bid twats or nothing or better than your own many more women than men men have. The worst man can find. I mean like that is true. It's my mom's finding herself in that situation that she's even ready to date, but her husband died six months ago, and I've been talking to her a lot about it. And she's like, you know, that's let's just be honest. I'm sixty eight and if I want to catch someone who's like intellectually stimulating and a good time. I gotta shop in eight year old because anyone mij- guy who's intelligent and funny. He's going to be able to fifty year old woman. That's just the fucking facts on planet earth. Yeah. I don't like this dynamic. There are a handful of men who want to be with appear like there are hand. All right. So I have friends that are like you could totally date a younger guy. Thank you. Compliment. But I'm just not interested. I, you know, I'm so lucky that I could be loved by someone in their thirties. Yes. But really on be with someone my age. I wanna be with someone who knows the aches and pains and perspective of being in your forties. Well into your forties. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're you're but like so that means I have to be with a sixty year old. I think. I like having you here so much. I don't know. I don't not this did not go the direction. I thought it would go. Direction. Did you think I thought we would talk more about comedy and work? But I'm always I'm always oh interested in that. I'm super interested in why we all do the things we do. The things you're talking about are things that aren't my doing. You're right. I'm talking about Seidel things sections of me of which I haven't confu, right? E don't have to do with me. But one of the things as do with you that I wanted to ask you about because you and you brought it up a couple of times. So it's not totally graceless segue. But you pee the bed Khan. And then even after you got fired from SNL, you UP the bed like three times in a week. It was that a bit or real. Right three. I peed the bed three times with three different men in the bed. One was a friend his bed. Two were levers Ribes. I've I've opened up in a wet bet a couple times both of us had blacked out. And I don't know who did it we kind of blame each other. But regardless even when I thought it was her I didn't really care wasn't that big of a deal that was your experience. My friend Dave wrath who I was staying with him while I was out here in LA, and we're very good friends. And and if he didn't hook up with someone that I would sleep in bed with him couches that was the deal is fine. And that night we went to a party into really late, and I slept in his bed with them. And I woke up at like four in the morning. I had I couldn't believe it. I'd beat in his evacuation and my heart, and I it just took me right back to being a kid Shane. I just thought if I don't tell him right now, I'm gonna. It will be bad. So I just like him to Dave appeared in your bed. And he just went to put a toll down. Now having kids who occasionally you're just so tired in the middle of the thing. You're like I don't care just throw towels down to a couple more blanket while ruin anything just to get me back to sleep. And then we'll fuck into it in the morning, but you've been through therapy. Is there a known thing for pain the bed is like a predictable outcome for some stager wrestling with the do, you know that I don't know what it was? It was just who knows may, you know, seem like some kind of regressive. I don't know. But but in terms of like being a bed wetter as a kid where the baby of the family, right? You're the guest I was a baby. But my dad was a bed wetter and my oldest sister. So maybe you're just like genetically like your little we all were little until like late growth spurt? And then we're like, you know, I'm fairly tall. And you know, I'm I'm not small and I've got big boobs. But I was totally flat chested, and I didn't I like how to just one summer growth spurt really late. I just like, you know, doing my OCD. Yeah. Okay. Did you ever have? No, I'm familiar with. So I did the I I had crazy OCD as a kid, and I had all these like fucking routines. I had to do everything to be done twice. And it was maddening right for a long stretch. And then I was taught ran into someone in actor. And she was telling me that she pulls her eyelashes out. Right. Which is that it was is an OCD thing and said, oh, yeah. I had a CD when I was a kid or whatever you wanna call it. And she goes, we'll, you know, obviously, why you have OCD, and I'm like, no, why do I have OCD? And she goes, oh, well, you pick these weird things that you can control because you're in an environment. You feel very out of control, and then I just kind of went backwards. And I was like oh by God. I started doing all that stuff. The moment. This one step dad showed up in my life. And then that just kind of ran until he disappeared. And I was like oh my God. It's that simple. Like, it was really that's what it was. And I think so many of these things I read I don't know that this is aiding disorders. They're all control issues. They're all like, I think that's what people become cops because they have no control in their lives. One hundred percent in people. There's literature asthma being away that kids can control their environment. There's a lot of research about it being psychosomatic in a way for you to take a little margin of control over your life. And I think so many of these things we all have right? There's all these different outcomes to some very basic stuff that happens to us. One. I'm noticing as an adult in our age were at is. I have an autoimmune disease. Sorry edit arthritis. I have friends who have got I have friends who have this who have that to me. It's like, oh, we're all allergic to some of the food. We eat and it can take a billion shapes. Mine happens to be sorry arthritis for this person's rose Asia for this person that but I think at the core of it all we're probably just eating some stuff were allergic to and that's the outcome and similarly in childhood, it's like you can have any number of things that are a result of maybe not feeling in control on any level. Yeah. And I was just wondering if like bed wedding was somehow decision you were going to fuck and make whether anyone likes it or not. I have I've been told different things because it's it's also muddy and like one thing I remember being told us that I I stopped winning the bed at normal age in started again when my parents got divorced. But then I asked my dad insister recently. And they said, no, I think you always were. But it's just it's just muddy. I'm not really sure. But I mean, God, I I wish more than anything. I wouldn't with the, but, but of course, that's not part of it. Yeah. It certainly suspicious is not like well who knows maybe at a physical component. Maybe there's a valve in there. That's you got from your dad who knows? But I think it's definitely curious if there was a spell after divorce, and then there was a spell after getting fired. I mean hereditary things can be hereditary that aren't just physical, right? Yeah. My dad was of chronic bed wetter in his dad beat the shit out of him every day. And you know, so maybe that's connected. I don't know. And you know, I have we there's talking about miss a phony a-. Phone that. I have that you do head it since early teens, and it gets worse and worse and worse and worse, and it's fucking real. And have you done a Twenty-three me tests DNA tests, you did it. Well, I did that finding a roots show. So you have to do ancestry dot com. But I don't think this progressing very rapidly as they get more and more people submitting their learning things really quickly, but one of them now when you do say you had done it when Monica and I did it like a few months ago. It'll tell you if you have the genetic marker for me, so phony like, they know whether you have it or not from your DNA. They they know if I have wet they told me I have wet earwax. Monica has dry year way. Right. Like, you can like, you know, if you wetter dry earwax in there, it's all been pretty accurate in Monaco trying to to jealous. She is elite muscle mass bag elite athlete muscle mass. Wow. Put it to us. Well, it's probably just as well. You get more injuries. I thought I'm so fucked up my back and chill at my knees. And it's just I'm in training just to live the rest of my life comfortably and I like playing sports and stuff. But I was like this is so unfair. I was an athlete all growing up in the guy was like, oh, yeah. That's why I want to hear more a little just a tiny that more about me Savona. Like, what do you get triggered by? Now. What I've definitely learned is because some people people some people will be like crunching in front of me and go home it good. I'm sorry. I'm you know, and I go, oh, no, it bother me at all. But it's if I if I have any stress in my body at all it gets triggered. And if I hear someone wrestling with the Fritos rapper or I mean, God, I will just say the idea of someone eating an apple in a quiet car. The thing I can live in my life. How do you feel about like some chewing gigantic piece of gum terrible. Now. I end this is just like my dad. It's crazy. I secretly to gum. I choose gum in my car. And sometimes I'll wake up in the middle night and just sit up in bed and chew gum book maniacally. Yes. Yeah. But there's some people that chew gum like the way. I chew gum. And it's not, you know, it's their mouth is closed. And it's not like, but if there's. Five any control like on a show or something? There's no gum onset because Jeff sound people more than anyone, I know chump gum. Yeah. And you know, if someone's in my line, or this, I don't even notice I'm never never bothered by that if someone of the corner, my is chomping gum. I can't remember a line a single thing about to say because I'm my brain. I get paper focused leave get paralyzed. And then I have to contend with a rage. I can't control a rage in my body that I desperately plead with and go this is just a person eating their mind breath, the smell nine, you know. You know, but mostly what I do is. I just immediately take myself out of this situation. I don't wanna make anyone feel bad. But if I'm in a situation where I am stuck like if a makeup lady at a job is chomping gum. I'll have to say something. And I just say this is me, I have a fucking weird thing. And it's not you, and I can only just ask if you would not choose them around me. Fucked up hate having to say that awful cylinders in. Luckily, oftentimes people understand and they go. Oh god. Sorry, totally you know. But it is. It's so scary. Because I know it's me in. It's not them, you know, and I can only just hope that they they'll be kind even if they don't understand it. If you don't understand something personally, it's very hard for people to have any kind, of empathy sympathy. So it's and it's so weird and bizarre. It's no it's a clicking pen kiss. Someone's clicking a pen. Click. Click click click click click. I mean, I it's go out of my fucking mind. I want more than any hewing ice in feels like an assault. I want so bad to put you in a room and cough. And I want send Kristen in with a pack. Kristen is chewed gum in front of me. He is the worst the worst ten there's something about her so aggressive, but it doesn't bother me. I what. Now, I suppose if I had stress in my body, it would be bad, and I would have to say something because like she's Kristen bell. Because there have been people that I, you know, I'm horrified that I because I can't take myself in this situation. I mean, I watched the shape of water. Did you see that movie? Did. Yeah. It's lovely movie. A beautiful fairy. Michael Shannon's character eats these hard. I loved Tate. I loved that. It was full blown panic deck for me because I was watching it with a group of people I had to block my ears close my eyes, and because he really he'd let Kwang lays in bed. Teeth and stuff tight really like oh my God. I'm Brad Pitt who I really love is an actor attractive. This thinking about him he eats in every movie, and I have to I have to block my ears and close my eyes real tight end just to kiss take myself to another place ocean's eleven. That's where eight in every scene famous. I can't I can loud. I don't have. I don't have me so phony, but occasionally I'll be with Kristen. And I honestly if I turn to the right in Clydesdale horse was chewing, a full pack hubba. I wouldn't be surprised. That's how it is out of control really, really. You haven't notice shocked? It's very aggressive. And there's a part of me in my miss a phony ah that would look at that think. That's so fucking rude. Not all her intention. She's just to in gum. You know that she's coming from great place, and she'd stop if you're bad definitely has it because growing up we would chew gum, and he would say only has to go. They know it's because Diddy elaborate elaborate now he just would shame us into spitting out our gum. But it was be. I know is because now I know he had miss it starts in your teens to in it. And for me, it was hearing my stepfather who is the kindest most wonderful man, you could ever meet John O'Hara? I could hear his saliva mixing his food in his mouth. And that was it taking hold of me. It wasn't him. He was eating right. But it would I just every night would eat dinner in my room because I couldn't bear could you ever with relationships like for at dinner with? Yeah. We'll because I've had boyfriends who just say you are being rude. And you're just deciding to are you have you'd aren't you know, you're making yourself feel. The he just believed I won't making it up. And then like, I've had friends who really understand. And no like I'm gonna you know, what I'm gonna eat the cereal in the kitchen. That's awful. I gotta be honest before we saw that. There was a genetic marker for it thought his horse shit myself. I really I thought oh, you know. You're just crazy intolerant of other tolerant. That's what he said. Oh, I know who said that do you exercise regularly? Yeah. And how much of that is for mental because back back back to like people telling me you're too in shape to be comic. Well, I'm like also say don't get mentally healthy. That's my point. Which is like, ultimately, I have to be me whether or not that fits into some box me, mentally I have to work out or I will be on antidepressants. It's that simple. I need to do X amount of exercise a week or I will need to be on antidepressant. So there's no option I'm going to I could eat really shitty too. But I don't wanna live in shape and be funny. They just they're saying don't oil up your ass out. Well, I've done it in the movie. So I guess they had a point also the older get I am I'm okay with people disagreeing to my route. Right. Isn't that kind of like one of the nice winter who serious said this as to be a fan numb not? And then and would go like, yeah. I'm definitely going to disappoint you. If you're looking for me to say, everything you agree with? Yes. I had the pleasure of performing with you a couple times at Largo in my brief run at doing stand up one of the time one of the. Said she did there was explaining that you had done a bit at a Ted conference and that they're a tedtalk. And that there was all this fallout over it. And then what you had come to realize in the end is that if you were to apologize for this routine? You did you've actually just be apologizing to advocates not the people themselves during this. Oh, yes. Yeah. Well, there's another example this too were. I don't remember that as a bit on this program. We had mentally challenged people on the show, and they didn't wanna let us do that. And I said, your your not letting us talk about people who exist in the world and have an have them in this because this is comedy in. It's an art form that you don't think can reflect the world, but it more than any. Anything reflects the world's when I heard that. I found that to be weirdly liberating. That's right. Oh, so when we were going to have we and we did we had some mentally challenged people on the show. And but yeah, it's just you're you're not responding to. You're not worried about mentally challenged people worried about their advocates my an as as someone who believes I am an advocate. I think they should be reflected in art. They because it means they exist, and they exist and they're beautiful. Yeah. It's weird. Yeah. The the alternative is like just I guess ignore that they're even here. I'm regularly defending the notion of the whack pack to people because I'm like, okay. Let's is really look at this. So here's a weird mix of people. Some some of them are addicts one guys at drunk. Some of them are mentally challenged. Someone has a speech impediment, blah, blah. You don't like them being used? On the show because you think they're being made fun of. And then my argument is okay. I'm looking at all their lives in they have this purpose. They're famous like we wanted to be famous. They have this whole life in world. They should be what their characters in this play. They want to be a character in this play. And they're having all this fun. As a result of it. I'm not seeing how excluding them from. That would be kinder. Yeah. I hear you're saying I waver. I I'm I'm I don't have a definitive take on it. I it. Eliza bothered me calling windy the retar. Yes, I do like how our where it has changed with the times. It all the time. And he would never say that today, and it's not because it's socially unacceptable. It's because he fundamentally changed. He would I don't think he would have any desire to say that word anymore. And and I, you know, I think it's interesting that he's willing to air old episodes where he says that because I think that's he's exposing something he's not a racing it from history, and it really has a whole new meaning it's uglier. It's they and I like the changes like, Eric the midget became Eric the actor. You know? And and Wendy, the slow adult, you know, and as long as he grows and changes. And and let's show reflect that I think it's interesting will the very last thing I want to talk to you about is. We're in a really unique phase where everything we've done is pretty much accessible at all times. Now, you know, if you were Harlan, you couldn't just go see a set of his couldn't bring it up on YouTube. You know, there was like a certain. I can't explain it. But he was free to live in a certain time period. And then he was free to evolve in the news free to be evaluated on that day about that thing. And you wanna just kinda bring something back and shove it in his face. But we now are in that reality, and we're comedians and to your point about Howard. We're evolving all the time. I used to cringe about right? I want. I mean. Good grief. And what's interesting is like you're kind of job is to take it to the very edge. That's really your job. And see if you can stay just barely inside the boundary of that. And your particular brand of comedy is I understood it was your speaking kindly, and then you're saying horrific things and that in itself is the bit is that it's coming at you. It's like, yeah. Of flour. That's got shit smell to it. It's like, that's the premise. So sweet. Mutable flower that smells like shit formula to what I was doing in the beginning. And it certainly was a character where I I would say the opposite of how I really felt and that was the comedy the contrast of how it was represented in what in the explicitness that of how is presented. And then my hope was that the teas a math term, the absolute value transcended because you only feel safe laughing at something fucked up is if you know, if you feel like that person going back to what we were talking about a dice. Yeah. Has good intentions. Yeah. I also there was an arrogant ignorant character. And that was then when I did the ceremony program was that was all what that was. And then I found I had a real identity crisis after my first special because I go, oh, who am I am. I'm this. I do this thing. And the whole thing about it was the element of surprise. But so if I do that thing that people like about me there is no surprise. It's what they're expecting. And then like I got so caught up in worrying about what others want to see. And it took me realizing that comedy dies in the second guessing. And you just gotta keep evolving. Do you lose fans you have to be willing to lose fans you have to be willing to bomb because otherwise you're not writing new shit or or reflecting who you are now. But there's stuff that I did. That I'm ashamed of now not just because it's not no longer accepted. But because I now have more information, and I like being changed by new information. And I thought I was so woke I grew up in white New Hampshire with bleeding heart liberal parents. And I knew that racism existed. And that it was something that I could only understand that. I don't understand. But that's as far as it went. And so because I I I do see the fucked up liberal bubble -ness of of stuff that I did in when I started out because it was all based on. I know this is wrong. So I can say it, right and. But it didn't ever occur to me. Because of my only experience I had to see the world through as my own white experience that that could hurt people, and I'm really have no interest in that. And I also believe I can make people laugh without now. You can't make please everybody. Certainly there are things that cut people. I wasn't that. I was ignorant to Joe we'll there's there's party your brain. Right. Who's going? No. That is the joke that this is a vile thing about racism. I'm just looming aiding racism, like my favorite thing that you're my favorite joke of yours in that period. Was. My ex boyfriend who's half black. Guys. Just listening to how I say that I'm so negative. He's halfway fucked it out because you have to say. You know, I it was something there had to be something that was negative that wasn't that. So it was something like oh fuck in fucked up this whole relationship with this way friend I with my boyfriend who's half black. And then I say, oh, I'm being so negative. He's half white. Remember that makes negative in some other way. So there's so many ways to look at that. So obviously, your making me of airy obvious joke of why that would be vile to say that's the joke in and of itself. But then also now this perspective of mine is only a few years old, which is like, oh, but that's not to say that if you're black and you're listening to that that you're not like, yeah. I get the joke. It's still be aware of people who truly see yet. It'd be white. Yes. And they may go, right? I get it. It's true. But it's not funny. And it's this or that and also probably which is becoming more obvious to us all now is even if that's a joke that should be made. Not by you. That's that's now I think in my own experience. I'm starting to own the fact that I've made a lot of jokes that it wasn't. Although the Joe I would end up defending the logic of the joke and never really now's a well. I'm not the person to say that because the whole thing about him. I remember hearing about like I mean does Chris about this Chris rock when he had his showing HBO he hired a lot of racist. Boston, white guys. They're racist jokes out of his mouth or are fucking hilarious in have and work in. Yes. In a new in totally different way. And he was brilliant enough to see that in also not he knew these guys comics are all one thing, you know, alternately. Yes. But it is kind of you know, they were actually racist. But just like that to take those ideas of race and put it through his filter had a whole different. Meaning that was brilliant. Yeah. I mean, the last roast I did years ago. I remember I had to write jokes for a museum. And like I said like f- like I I want to. I wanna hurt his feelings. I don't know why. And I remember just saying like, I'm just gonna do racist Indian jokes because then it's let's in a roast. I would rather have someone do I'm a cheap ju joke because it's all and it's just about writing shitty Roasti jokes about that. Then, you know, like something that would ring true yet tear, you know, about my looks or personality, whatever. So I mean in a way I was like that was me saying like, I'm I'm just gonna for writer for wrong. I mean, it's stupid. And I heard you mention something about the roast that you noticed that where the roast is sex is that the burns on you were all of a sudden all about AJ funding because I was the one backstage going you guys jokes. Are you know, we're going to talk about each other? We love each other nothing personal like a lot. Of the guy a lot of them were had not done roast before. Whereas like Natasha, and I had both done roasts. And of course, like Jefferson, and I of course, was laughing. But like, and I think all of us, I think when you do a roast you spend a couple of days in bed afterwards to try to remember yourself self worth. But I was completely one-sided by I'm old jokes because even on the day. By the guys who wrote a lot of these jokes like sixty year olds. But it it, and I defend everyone's right to say them with my life because I was fucking brutal. I mean, that's what a roast is. But the truth was I did feel hurt. I defend it completely. I would you know. So it's hard to express myself without sounding like a victim because I was a part of it. And I was brutal to you. Yeah. I was just surprised it was prepared for I'm hairy. I'm jewish. I'm a whore. Yeah. And I wasn't prepared for that. And it was like a new world new chapter for may my God, I'm getting the BEA Arthur jokes. Word year old. I was lose a bunch of weird ways that this job will force you to confront your age in as an actor. That thing that starts happening means like I realize, oh, I'm getting I l notice I'm getting cast as a husband. I guess I'm old enough that I would be married then all I'm getting cast that I'd have children now, oh announcing no children getting cast their older yet and the job forces you to acknowledge your actual station in life weirdly. And yet like that thing could like as you say invite you into a new chapter like oh God, I'm now here. That's that's something to think about the thing with roses. Like you. I think the people don't want to do it. It's awesome. It's not for me. I don't want to feel shitty about myself. I need a million steps in a day to not feel shitty. That the voice inside. My head's doing a good enough job to make me feel shitty. I don't need help from anyone. And then I also feel like there's this little element of like Roman Coliseum where it's like someone was smart enough to put us all together in the just savage each other for the collective amusement. It's like someone's above all of it. Like just the thing about a roast was always that. It was a group of best friends. Yes. And it just is not that anymore, and you know, my friend, Brian Moses created a show called roast battle. That is actually putting comedians who aren't necessarily famous at all. But who are working Connex who are our friends? Yes. Xs or are dating or our best friends or and it's. Totally different in at the end of each one. They hug and you see when one slams the other the other one will like genuinely laugh, and the jokes are so specific like your day, mom Ellen. They no, yes. And there's something much more beautiful about it. Like, these are people that love each other who share this craft and are brutal to each other. But they you really see that. There is no love lost. It's different. It's kind of the Y loving made fun of by Kristen yet. She you it you makes you feel known and it makes you feel loved. I mean love being teased by people. I know love me. Yes. In Monica teases me a lot. And I always enjoy that nineteen her line. She does a little bit less. Guard for me because it is right. Yeah. It is. It is because the same thing like what you are saying about the age joke. Like, you never know when something's gonna feel personal like, they probably they very well could have felt like oh ages. Everyone ages that's normal that right across the board. That's nothing purse. I feel very confident that none of the men that made those jokes have any ill will towards no. But you just never know when something's gonna do that feel like look, here's what would trigger me in a big way. If a stranger makes a joke about me. My assumption has to be everyone in the world thinks about me. That's why it's funny, right? This person doesn't even know me. But this thing is so obviously embarrassing about me that everyone's thinking, and now I gotta go home with this like handbag of new fears that everyone thinks about me, I don't want that new handbag of fears like here, it's actually the stranger -ness of it that makes it feel so scary like, oh, that's what everyone's because everyone laugh, so must rang true. I guess all these things right? And I guess that's also why some people can get away with certain jokes and other people can't it's because a truth transcends. And if it's that you're doing it with love is very different than if you're doing. It with fear or hatred or any kind of actual aggression or negative feeling, you know, but it's also in this kind of circles back to like never recognizing when you've entered a position of power status over someone else. It's hard to be aware of that. For me years. It's Kristen going. You have to understand when yours delivering your opinion. You're six foot three white, dude. Like, it is just visually scarier you need to counter act that by being even more soft than. Yes. Like, I'm going. Well, no. I'm speaking like everyone else, and she's like, yeah. But you're speaking above them like everyone else. So sorry for you. You're gonna have to like come under that to make it equal, and I'm more and more recognizing like, I am a fuck in super titled tall, white guy with blond hair. And I me saying something mean isn't as pleasurable as watching George Carlin who was schlumpy in balding say something attacking the power structure, you know, as much as I wanted just be whatever comedian, I wanna be that day. I have a certain box that came with a ton of privilege and opportunities. And then there's some things I can't do not my place there, certainly people. And maybe they fall into that aesthetic near explaining coup are stunned by. That because they don't are stunned by the notion of that they may hurt someone or have hurt someone because they don't feel powerful. And so when. Even abuse. And this isn't me having compassion for that. But just wanting to understand it when people are abusive, it's because it's not because they feel powerful right because they feel power less. Yeah. And even if you are a person of power her abused power a lot of times. It's it's not because you think it's because you feel powerful it will it's the same with bullies like as much as I wanna hate bullies in round them up. Let me tell you. They're getting Grassley kicked by dad at home in. So I can't expect people to have compassion for those people. But you know, I had a guy on my show Christian peach cellini who has a Nazi he was in Neo Nazi? I read his book credible and he from fourteen and until he was like one of the heads of a Nazi northern hammers or something. And and he said I said what advice if you're gonna give us holid- face. And he said find someone who does not deserve your compassion and give it to them because that's what happened to me. And I think about it all the time because I think if I met Christian peach Leany before he changed would I have compassion for him. And you know, I'm not judging myself. Yes, or no. And I'm certainly not telling other people have compassion for alleys scumbags, hatemonger, whatever. But. They got that way. For a reason reason as sad it, you know, they're they're grownups and they responsible for what they do. But I do think that change comes more from compassion than from. You know, meeting with equal violence in anger twenty just have screaming matches and people just hating, and they're no one's gonna change their mind. You're not going to change anyone's mind. Totally agree. I being condescend to them and telling them they're stupid. And here's why this fact in this poll number, and you might be totally right. But it makes their porcupine needles. Go up, and you can't take in. You can't be changed. When you're in defensive mood when you're protecting yourself Clinton agree with you more in these things are there either in one of two states things are either in a de-escalation state or an escalation state, this is really the only two options. So it's like you have to imagine in my escalating this thing or am ideas. Galatian it and. That pick Alina guy always lies name chill, chilling, peach Leany, I felt. Weirdly was like I had like a moral conundrum about reading that book. I thought. This guy has a great message. Ultimately because I read the book, and then I was like do I tweet about this book? And I thought I feel very weird about giving someone some kind of capital or money based on having been a shithead. You know what I'm saying? I was like there's something about this. Which is unique. Because if the guy was just let's say someone wrote a book about used to be a rapist and I- raped all these people. And now, I'm not a rapist. It would it would feel weird. Well, they give that person a platform called out before he changed. We would think of him very differently than if he then how he came into the elephants relevance for having changed. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it is it's true. There's something to being changed on your own not because the world has turned on you. And you're losing work or something hundred percent. And I ended up like loving the book and everything, but I just remember going. I. I just feel a little there's a little I need to think this through weirdly, I've done things that I'm very ashamed of in in comedy. Just you know that looking back. I it was so ignorant, and whether whatever the intentions were. But I also know I can't especially in this world array set, right? All I can do is be changed by it and spend the rest of my life making it right in any way that I can. And I see that. That's that's something I learned from Christian. You know, like he spends his life trying to get people out of hate group. Yes. And so, you know, it's not a punishment. It's a choice that you want to make this right? This thing that you've that you feel complicit him. And I think that I'm very moved by someone who can be changed. I was raised a bleeding heart liberal. And now, I am one who. If I was raised differently. I would have the strength to become something else. I I'd like to think that, but in that's, and that's I said it in a special like that's how I see myself in people protesting at a, you know, outside an abortion clinic. This is how they've been raised. This is everything they know to be true. And they want you to feel that way too. Because they're passionate about the thing. Again. I'm more interested in trying to make Dax better than everyone else in. There's so many opportunities right now, and I'm kicking and screaming on some of them. Like, I have I have provocative metoo thoughts at times, I have provocative. I still think racist hysterical. I still love those jokes. You know? There's a ton of stuff that I'm having a hard time. But I did have this little mile breakthrough. Monica, and I were watching this documentary called white, right? And this English-born, but Pakistani ethnically woman. Comes in interviews all these white nationalists. It's a great deca maritime that flex and what I found was. I was so I it was so easy for me to see that these many of them, boys. Young men that are in this movement. Have just never had a friend. These were the first people that were willing to be friends with them the lev is. Yes in acceptance fam- a sense of family, and they were even calling her a friend like on such short schedule like they had not known each other very long, but they would be going like, well, you're my friend. I don't want you to call yourself shit skin. That was like she kept calling herself read tweet them. Yeah. That grew she'd say it again in they're like don't say that yet in in the Oakley. Yeah. In the guy, we we're friends, and I could see in his eyes like he genuinely like, and I was like, oh, he wants a friend so bad, and I just had this moment of kind of identity shattering where I was like, oh my God. This is the power. Of empathy that guy looks like me. So I'm being empathetic in a way to him that I would never be watching an ISIS documentary low like if I was watching ten ISIS dudes talk. My just my level, of empathy is way lower. And that's just my rep Tilly brain has evolved to be empathetic towards people who I most relate to that. Look like me, and I start going like, oh, man, I'm really handcuffed. By my limited, empathy the way everyone's handcuffed by their limited empathy. And that needs to be something. We are taught to counter correct for like NFL, consigns experiment. Like, we have a control very -able. Oh, just be warned. You have limits to empathy. Yeah. We base what we think on what we know. But we also base. What we think on what we don't know. And what we don't know is terrifying. The the Fadh of the unknown going into something that isn't familiar as humans as scary. So what what is brave is? Is living through it and realizing it's well now, I didn't know. And now, I know I've lived through it, and it wasn't. It was scary. And I was okay in even before Monica, and I became really good friends. I would still have maintained like, no accents or funny. You're allowed to do any accent. You want? And knowing Monica knowing what hearing people do that accent makes her feel like I now I don't do it as much as I love doing that accent. Sometimes in the shower when no one can hear he wasn't we found one single moment where we thought it was acceptable. It's acceptable. Alway, no. But but the all that happened is I could still make the intellectual defense of it. But I've now had an emotional connection with the person where I go, however, much pleasure. I get out of doing that accent, however, many people I make laugh knowing how much it hurts a certain person. Now that it's real to me is just been like, I don't need to do it. If you for instance did Indian accent because you have a bunch of Indian friends. Yeah. Yeah. It's different. Then if you do an Indian accent because of the the guy with it on this. Yeah. You've heard that. And then that's what in seven eleven people at seven eleven are Indian, and they talk like this. It's very different than, you know, like a if you're three best friends are Indian, and you will, you know, you know, our sting them. Remember, the one time I thought it was worth dealing was my brother worked at a place for a while where he answered a customer care line in people are so angry at the notion that they're talking to someone in India on customer care. You know, there's a thing where are you people? So my brother to fuck with those people who are basically Zeno phobic. They would go where where are you right now in my brother would say Newark Newark. And he would do an Indian accent. And keep claiming to be in America. Just to piss them off thought was weirdly, full circle funny. But at any rate, it just took me full circle funny. But they're not they're getting their racism is exempt is is what he's turning their own racism on them to punish them to make them suffer. They know the phone being more open to no, certainly not. No, it certainly probably made them more Zena phobic and race. But it's kind of a good bit just to fuck with them at any rate. Best storyteller. You think so said, I you you've told the funniest stories I've ever heard. Oh, yeah. We'll thank you. I remember when I started doing stand up, and I did it in front of you. I was particularly nervous. I'm like, I really hope Sarah doesn't think like why is he fucking doing this? I would never you have a great way of telling a story own my God. Oh, thank you. I'll never forget. The one about Marlon Brando being taken on a tour of the set of all of them, doctor, Dr Moreau. This one oh, always a Munster. Look. He'll always alone, and it was a real actor not in prosthetics or mak- and they had worked together before. And he kept trying to say it, and then Marlin was. Talk. Lose touching his face. So rule. Well, sarah. I I love you. And do you think like, so you're doing your show? I love you America. Well, here's my big announcement cancelled home. Sorry. I haven't said it out loud other than to the people at work with who. Now need to find work. I'm so sorry. Did you enjoy doing it a lot? There's nothing I've ever enjoyed more. This is the first job in my life that I would wake up every morning before my alarm is a group I loved working with it felt like it mattered at it mattered to me, and you know, we own it. So maybe someone will will find a home somewhere. But I I'm yeah, I'm I'm actually super bummed about. I'm always I've always been slightly relieved when other jobs get stuff there's part of me. But this one I'm super bummed about what I was gonna say is what I liked about. That shows I do feel like you. And I although you're I think much more political than I am you're involved. But I do seen us something that I think we share which is it's really easy to get so cemented into this identity of left and right in appears to me that you're always trying to remember at all times that they're a human way before they're a conservative or liberal, and you seem to have the same desire. I do which is. Let's talk. My goodness. Let's just chat for a minute. And let's let's everything's different. It is in just being reminded that ninety eight percent of your day is identical to everyone else's like you wake up. You. Gotta get some cough. You're gonna have to take a shit. You might have to get kids. Ready? Gotta go drive to fuck in some job. You gotta sit in traveling. You look at the actual things that are happening in every person's day in were so similar in yet. We we make a mountain out of these. Let's say you make so much more leeway with someone who has complete different politics than you. There's no reason to talk about politics talk about what you do. You know, like, oh my God you watch Walking Dead metoo. I used to hate Carol. Now, she's my world, you know, it's like that. All you have to do is connect on some level, and then your friends, and then all the other stuff, you know, there's someone who says this this woman Mary cave. Fucking never. Remember name starts. Okay. Make-up's sales lady Mary Kay says. And I know it because Mr. Rogers quoted her, but she said there, isn't anyone you couldn't love once. You've heard their story. I love that. We did all up words. Just like we may be totally different. But everybody loves their family loves their friends and has a embarrassing story involving shitting. Well, the one the one that I always kinda hold up because I'll get going on like, let's all just I start with maybe the way we we connect. And then we can have different opinions and people go. No, it's you got to choose a side. And I get you know, mean tweets about that. I'm not taking a side as much, but I will I will just put up before you, you know, Antony Scalia and Ruth beta Ginsburg, those are best friends went on vacations together. They fucking went in a hot air balloon together like in. You can't say either one of them wasn't the most devout warrior in soldier for their parties in their political ideology in their best best friends in those two people can be best friends. We don't have to be hating one another because we have different opinions. There's two versions of that. I see it one. I see the beauty of it in that the reason why there's so much separation and and bullshit in our own gut. Government is that they don't hang out anymore. There used to be time Democrats or Republicans would go to parties they'd have dinner they play golf. They talk about their children. And it was so different got shit done because of it. Now, they don't do that. I see two sides because then also I went to a party, and I saw Anthony Scaramucci and the moon. Avenue hanging out together. The the the what's our faces lawyer Daniels. All right, right. Right. Right. Yeah. I go. You guys are friends and the. Yeah. Talion stick together. Whatever Jesus This is fucking show business to them pitching show together. Like in some ways, you go. We need them to hang out. We need them to see themselves in each other. Because that's what we need and they represent us and it trickles down. And then another side you go like it's fucking show business them. They don't even fucking care. I'm up like two minds. It all just depends. What I do agree. I listen to this guy on same Harris's, pout casts. And he is making this great point that we've actually transitioned though both parties have transitioned into they are nominating the person they don't hate as opposed to nominating the person they love and that's an infection on both sides. So to be a liberal at this point is to be defined by hating Trump. And I don't think that's the way to define yourself. I think the way to define yourself is by who you love who's policy. Yes. What is the policy you love in your fighting for not all your energies into the policy? You hate in the person who represents that. It just doesn't to me seem ultra productive. I would say that Trump is living rent-free in my mind right to fight that. Yeah. Well, I really adore you. And you know, the times the times have got to hang out we've played scrabble together. And you're quite a good scrabble player, which I always respect in someone. I am magin that well, let me just ask you this really quick SNL. Probably was the most devastating thing that had happened to you at that point. I've read sides like having good a sleep away camp as a bedouin, I guess, right, right, devastating. But then in Rutgers out a window by my ankles as thirteen year old we were seventeen story window. That was scary. Oh, my goodness by several people at by one guy on acid. Oh, yikes. As visiting my sister at college, and he was as ING you. He wouldn't pull me in. I was teeny tiny was thirteen but very small and I went to visit him. Oh, my sister was in class in he'd just he must have been on drugs. Sure. And he held me at a seventeen storey window and. Remember thinking, I'm this is how he wouldn't pull me back in until I screamed enough for him. You know, I was already screaming. We're the worst find at all. Closing. But you can't say that was the most devastating thing in my. But yeah, certainly professionally I remember thinking like in my in show business. Right. In show business being on it. But Odin Kirk kind of publicly gave his two cents on why he thought that happened which I think is really quite accurate, which is the thing that made you not great there as the very thing that makes you great everywhere. Which is you are so specifically Sarah Silverman at all times in that. That point of view is a commodity in has proven to be the commodity that it is in. It's almost a huge blessing that that happened. I'm just thinking in retrospect, these things that have been in my own life. So hurtful took so long to get over for the best things that ever happened to me. Definitely. And do you feel like as you get older? I feel like I now have enough evidence that I never know. What is the best thing for me? And I now realize or I have a faith that I'll always look back on things and go, oh that was supposed to happen. Exactly that way. Because now I'm here, and I love being here you have that kind of comfort or. I have learned in therapy to try to feel like what has happened, and what is happening is for some reason. Essential. Maybe I don't understand it now. But that's kind of like what the the great part of religion is for people's like, well, this was meant to happen. And this is supposed to happen. That seems real nice. You know, like I love you America, getting counseled like I still don't feel like that was meant to be. But then part of me is like I'm shy. It was maybe it's supposed to be somewhere else. Maybe it's supposed to not be anymore. But right, but I just hope you have the perspective, you probably don't 'cause you're inside of it. But I on the outside go. Oh, sir Silverman. Always be fine. You'll always be a hundred percent fine. You'll do nineteen different things before. Now in the end in. They'll all have some significance in some things will lead you to this. And that and I do feel about I've just never really panicked, and I've never planned anything or been like I want to be here. A certain point. It's never occurred to me nothing. That's I mean, that's one thing might therapist said to like have you been able to predict a single thing that's happened in your life. And I was like definitely not. And he goes. Yeah. So why are you worrying about it? Now, we're looking through a pinhole of just what we know though. I put you in a category with Amy Poehler, which is a lot of people myself included at times, you get so naval focus that as you're going up the ladder. You're forgetting to throw your hand back and help people out, and you've always been just the high water Mark of the United both best friends with Steve AG. We love. And you have a group of people that you if you're working there working, and I think that's the most admirable wonderful thing that is easy to overlook as you're focused on what's next in the things you need personally. Right to constantly be remembering no, let's bring everyone. I can along for the ride. I feel like you've done that really. Admirably Hanks, well, you know, friends are they don't grow on trees. No. They don't find a few good ones. You gotta keep them around. I mean, I think a lot of my friends of I'd grown me, Currier wise. And that's that's a good thing. That's not maybe not for me. But i'm. All right. Well, I love you. Thank you so much for coming to making time and sleep over. Only if you promised to pay the bed promise is I wanna be your first positive experience with it. Like when you you yell from your bedroom? The bet I'm gonna come in with symbols celebrating, and I'm going to have confetti poppers guys. And then I'm going to give you five hundred dollars cash. Oh, my. Kristen's gonna throw a cake in my face for your amusement to celebrate. We're gonna put a whole new spin on this for you. Yeah. Have a positive out. Only one way for us to find out. And now my favorite part of the show. The fact check with my soulmate, Monica Padma n-. Oh, boy, let's start out. This fact, check by just seem that when we flew back from Chicago. We were on the airplane with common. We were we were he was a couple rows ahead of us. And when we got off the plane in L A common took the time to remove two or three bags from the overhead for this woman who was sitting next to him. And rob said, you don't see that often. That's very uncommon. Lot. I loved it. Because it happened immediately. While it was happening. You know, that was the kind of thing. I would think of maybe walking down the, you know, the Bill little fucking do Hickey walk down the gangway thought. Oh, I wish I would have said that's on common to see. But he was right. It was right on the heels of even still been happening. Maybe. Yeah. Reminded of it. Because rob just got got me with a joke coming into this. Welcome to the fact check. Yes. Say room this she's special, and when you feel you can't go on you Goeman squeeze me. It's you. What did Sarah say cheating shit, the Brooklyn's? Now, she did great. Paul bloom. You said Paul bloom, said empathy is not useful. I don't know if he said that so explicitly, but he does say he has like a case sort of against empathy and four rational compassion, which he different I might have paraphrased bit too much. Have you may have you may not he might say, it's not it's not helpful to be truly empathetic by the definition of empathy in a situation which calls for you to act because you're gonna you're gonna magin yourself in their shoes. You're gonna get yourself hysterical. Irrational. Yeah. Yeah. And that there's a difference between empathy and compassion for people. Because a lot of sociopaths have a lot about with e score very high on these empathy tests, and that's how they're able to manipulate people. They can feet they know what the other person wants to here. Yeah. Yeah. It is. It's counter intuitive to think that sociopaths are highly pathetic. I know really puts that word to the test. It's just kinda uses a blanket positive. Yeah. I know. Yeah. And it's not necessarily you said, drowned ding. Sara called you out. But I just wanted to say that was a new word or is this a new word. I didn't know that you said a little I hope blobby wa is compiling a list, we can put on the website. We need a new thing for him. Start jotting down. Wabe wab is supposed to he's he's okay at this. Now, I just gave him a lot of love for his uncommon joke. But I'm going to be a little critical and say he's pretty good at writing down. Every time we say a podcast or a documentary or a book that we like he's supposed to be writing that down vigilantly meticulously, and then posting it on the website. So people can go afterwards. Don't have to swerve into another lane trying to rewind don't do that don't do that. Well, wabi while white this stuff down. But I do think that we should add to while wives list. I'm maybe these words Kayla. Gumi glossary attic. Up in the addict. Yes, acrossed. Yes. Attic across with. That just that's not. Yeah. I'm not saying it wrong. It's just saying wrong. Turns out I say, correct. We can't add that to the list we can't now that's gonna be on the list of all the words Ufuk and people say wrong that song list of one embarrassing. No, all the listeners. They're saying sauna. But the list is one word. Yeah. I got right. Sound? Two other words, I say correctly that no one says correctly latte rang, a tan and the enter tall. Those are. That's both the correct ways to say those words. When you said we in biology. Evers biology. We in the sciences. I never said that Neanderthal and Aranka tan are words all never you'll choose to say them in. Yeah. I have words like that. I know what the right way to say. It is. But I think it's gross. And I feel that way about saying certain areas of the country like Missouri is often pronounced a certain way. Yeah. I won't do that. Either. Even though I know that's that's actually the Gillian Flynn. I know she's allowed to from there. You're missouri. I think if you're from there you are in the right? Yeah. Yeah. Even if I was from there pie when in Georgia. Did you guys say Oregon or Oregon, Oregon, Oregon interesting in Michigan every single person in Michigan's as Oregon the Oregon trail, not the Oregon trail the Oregon trail? Yeah. Wasn't to my family moved on Oregon that I was forced to learn to say it correctly. So is Oregon, right? Yeah. Because that's how Oregon's say it. Right. Yeah. May get to decide Oregon's or or or Goni. Organ Morgan organisms or they're called organs. Yeah. Interesting. Tonight told you my no key thing, right Kia. Yeah. I used to say Nokia, right Nokia. Oh, Jesus now laws, but I once was hired fifteen years to go to go to the Sugar Bowl in like be a part of some paid thing from Nokia or Nokia, and I had to say a bunch of times, and I spent hours in my hotel room same because it whatever it was. It was the opposite of what I've always said that they wanna be like the mouthpiece for this company, which is also Swedish. Yeah. Wow in. So I had I practiced more than I've practiced monologues for movies saying Nokia. No, or, but I think it's no Kia. I say doesn't that sound Japanese. Yeah. I would have totally said Japanese. Wow. That's yeah. That's interesting. Maybe the Swedes bought it from the I I don't know. I don't wanna get too in the weeds on it. But so you said imperial dragons is a K K K name, and I started looking into some K K K titles titles. Yes. Positions positions. Correct. And so someone go through some K, right? These are higher level titles. Okay. If grand wizard I feel like that's the most known. Yeah. That's the highest. I what is why feel like an imperial dragon should be higher than a grand wizard. We just got named dragon. Yeah. Imperial dragons are less. Oh, yeah. Wizards are higher than drink. I just have to say how silly the whole thing. Sounds literally sounds like ten year olds playing dungeons and dragons or Harry Potter like it does grand wizard grand scribe grand dragon grant, great titan. Greg grandpa. Rand giant. Is it really grand giant? This is so silly obligations are the real. No, there's nice. Yes. Oh my God. You guys in the KKK. You've gotta rebe titles. Title nervous. I don't know why why we're making fun of cake. Are they going to come get me or something? Well, let me just say this. This is going to get him way. More trouble than what you're dancing around is. We've now watched several documentaries about the KKK you and I. Now when I watched like Mary's about the Hells Angels. You do not wanna fuck with them in the toughest person in any hells. Angels chapter is called the sergeant of arms that they give that title to the toughest guy. I've seen a dozen or so hells angel sergeant arms. I am terrified. I would not want to say a single disparaging thing about them because there, but I have now watch all these KKK all look like outta shape. Fuck in heavy smoker. Car pound in every single one of them. We watched them together. Have you seen one guy that you're like that's a tough customer like now that guy looks like he would fucking die in a lawn chair. Hang listen. But I don't my fear is not tag is ising a hate group. Well, yeah, I'm saying my fear is not relegated to people who look tough. I know that the people who look weak can damage I kind of like though, challenging any minute toil. To fistfight. I don't wanna get in a gun duel with anyone they loved again a fight with me. Would you you? But you have not challenged them to fight. I am the one that's saying all look like outta shape. Clean me. So although they don't that's the sad thing. We're learning about the Klan is that they would be friends with you in two seconds. That's what's so complex about. All this is they would be friends with you their friends with that woman. Also weird. It is. Any who though I do stand by the my assessment of their general, fitness? Just leave it at that. Okay. Speaking of I watched black Klansmen over the break because it was on Obama's lists of top movies. It was for the year. And so I watched it with my family. We like to bear much great. Oh, okay. She said that she lost her virginity when she was nineteen in USA that seemed late. Am is want to be careful about that. Okay. 'cause I only want I don't want people to listen young people, and who maybe haven't had sex and think so. Wrong. Something's wrong. I should have by now or that. It's late if you get to a certain point like ever anything's fine. Yeah. Well, there's two elements that I'll say that compound that one is just Mike experience. So anything I'm saying, of course, relates to how it was in my town, basically people generally had sex by the time they were eighteen and so that's one issue, and that's probably regional. I'm sure there's different ages of sexual activity that are common in different areas seem to be pretty young where I'm from. But. Second to this in this kind of circles back to a problem. I think I I haven't figured out how to address it, which is because her her comedic material has been often very sexual. I think of her as someone who's very sexual or very uninhibited. You know, doesn't think there's a bunch of moral trappings surrounding the pleasurable activity of coitus. So I making these assumptions based largely on her comedy, which probably is not smart. So just based on her comedy. I think oh it would have thought she got sexually curious at six. I see. Yes. So it's not like it wasn't a blanket statement to all people like nineteenth late, but for for her I felt shocked by because she's so open about being sexual I figured that. I just wanted to clarify. That they should wait as long as they they can do whatever they want. Fine. And that it's all. And also fuck when you're ready because it's it's fun. You know, there's also that. Okay. Is bed wedding hereditary? The majority of bed wedding is inherited for three out of four kids. Either a parent or a first degree relative also wet the bed in childhood in some scientists have even located some of the specific genes that led to delay nighttime bladder control. Oh, wow. Yeah. So that was cool said her dad did that should be on the twenty three in meek kit. Whether you're a bad weather should add that bed wedding. Yeah. Yeah. We could also boy we could really do some synergy right now if we could get twenty three Amita, add it to their kids, and they give linen to do a P resistant, five star quality sheet and advertise it was people. Who are also an me undies undies could have a little Maxie pale Vilson diaper. Yeah. Like a reusable maxi pad. That would be great. Yeah. I suppose. A lot of our sponsors could hop on this Pacifica get like you have a little seat cover you could order your Pacific with a little on P resistant seek cover if you're night driving. If you're driving your sleep. Wow. Yeah. We need to call a meeting of all sponsors with our new multi pronged approach community of bed-wetting. We talk a little bit about OCD in control. And there's a book called overcoming obsessive thoughts and it says, anxiety and worry is a prominent feature of CD in the compulsions our behavioral attempts to manage or controlling Zion. Distressing thoughts. Yeah. But and you mentioned something about asthma potentially being cycle psychosomatic in a way to control their environment. And I didn't find anything on that. But it must be somewhere. Maybe so weird as I I don't know if I said in the interview, but I'm getting that offer. There was an entire chapter in the teddy Roosevelt. You're dedicated to the conclusion that as MOS psychosomatic era. I read like a whole Chipman on his mind. You this book the teddy Roosevelt book? I'm pretty sure it was a McCulloch book was written thirty years ago. So maybe it's even changed since then. But the way was written was seemed like it was completely conclusive that it was psychosomatic which I had as Mus kid. And again, you don't know you're doing all right. But it kind of made sense to me. Like that one of the gals in this chapter. That was talking about asthma was she would roses gave her asthma attack. And they brought roses in to her hospital room and she had an asthma attack. But the roses were fake. They were silk roses that was one of the examples. They gave I didn't get chills. But I feel like I coulda gotten chill. Coulda. What's a pre chills? State that you got into. I just felt like oh, wow. Big we're meal. Well, yeah. Kind of felt like the moment in the courtroom where they like show a video of the person, right or in the six cents when you find out that he's he's died. He's actually dead. Okay. She said that she's pretty tall. And she is she's five seven that's pretty tall for a lady. I think. Christian peach Leaney was the head of which Nazi group you said northern hammers. And it was first he was recruited to join Chicago area skinheads cash, and he became the group's leader at age sixteen at any facilitated a merger between cash and the hammer skins hammer stands so then it was both together. Okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What giving race groups a lot of airtime. We talked about race groups racist. Anti race groups. I would say, yeah. Although white is a raise. I mean, there's no such thing as race. But if you see the rays, right? Yeah. You're right. Yeah. Caucasoid Ongky cracker Whitey the man the man. Well, that's what black folks in the seventies called Whitey was the man I thought they called it. I thought that was like, yeah. I guess it is white. Yeah society. Yeah. Yeah. Honky cracker franker? Who said there, isn't anyone you couldn't love once. You've heard their story. Her name's Mary, Lou Retton. No, I love Mary, Lou Retton or she doing. Cow Necci connec, easy, K O W N A C K I. Continents and lots made popular by Mr. Rogers. Of course. Oh. That's a stamp of approval. Yeah. Another race thing. We're talking about like being attracted to your oppressor. And us as that we blew over. But I knew what you were trying to say, okay. You said that P girls in west Bloomfield like you Jewish girls girls in west Bloomfield liked you. And maybe it was because you looked really Aaron. And I think you were trying to say like there was some sort of like path Allah g about you and Mike Hitler and Nazis. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Can I say that? I don't know that. That it didn't say that like you kind of were trying to and you're about to doing scared or scares could tell you were wanting to. But then you didn't 'cause she kind of took it a little bit of a different way. And then you're gonna you're trying to sort of circle back. And then you let it go. But I know that that's I knew that you meant that. Yeah. I wondered in this probably stems from my own insecurities more than anything else because I couldn't comprehend that. They just liked me. Right. That there's no way that they just liked me. Yeah. But again, it was this portion it it was disproportionate. Well, more them like me, then honky cracker devil ass. Well. When I do think is true thing. It's just a forbidden. It's an exotic. Yeah. Yeah. Exotic. Also, really weird to think of myself as exotic. Yeah. If milk needed to be personified. It could just be me. Yeah. Now glass, a male not say, okay. All right. Batum strike one now because you're not blamed. Yeah. Right. Yeah. We'll get into a whole thing about the SPO the soul spectrum that that join I create it and at transcends skin color. Yeah. Very self serving. Spectral analysis I came up with because of course, I wanna put myself high on the soul spectrum, but we did conclude that Bill Murray was like ten on the soul spectrum like Samuel Jackson and Bill Murray are tied on the soul spectrum even the ones white black in fell like very nebulous. Like for some reason she and I agree on every name like any name. We would come up with like Tom Cruise. She and I would put him at like a one on the soul spectrum right and yell onto ten and then like Bill Murray we were both like fucking tan Sam Jackson tan Jimi Hendrix tan Murray. Bill Maher is a ten on the soul spectrum. Yeah. Okay. Where am I where are you? I where were you like an eight on the soul spectrum? Enjoy approved. She did she signed off on that she thinks on the soul spectrum and. And she's like a nine on this whole spectrum. Okay. Okay. Except that. Yeah. I would say she would probably be a ten. She's not a 'cause we got a reserve ten for like Sam Jackson and Bill Murray. So let me think of a female that is hard time will Retha Franklin's at ten on the soul spectrum. Okay. Right. Yeah. And a white woman that is. Eight. But I don't know sh she. And I felt like maybe I'm mis remembering we should probably check from her. What I was. But I was high for a white for a caucus, oy. It's like it's like it's like rhythm. You know? Yeah. There's like a rhythm in a looseness and a comfort in your own skin and a. Zama storm is making sense a little bit. When you look at Bill Murray, just like that guy is just like he's liquid in his own skin. He's just smooth and confident in like his own thing. And. Yeah, deep, and you know. Yeah. There's a looseness to the originality that is very soulful. Did you guys do it for the people onset? Did you? Yes. Absolutely. No, no, no, no. I can't possibly give people's negative. I don't know. I would imagine people wanna behind the soul spectrum. You can do that. You can do it on here. Don't lie. And we can have joy what she thinks. We can ask joy. But right. I would probably give you a five on the specter. Negative. Yeah. Yeah. Feels negative. But like. Let me tell you something. Visit by your own admission, you weren't a simulator your cheerleader like being a snowboarder put you high on the soul spectrum because it's like, you're bucking the convention. You're finding your own wave deride? It's not completely popular or normal. It's almost paralleling. Now that I think about it. My definition of the punk rock spectrum. People who are doing that are doing the exact same thing that people who are on the chilling squatter doing they're finding the group that makes them feel good. Sure. And is giving them approval. One is. Not different than the other. I'm sorry. This is not. I know you want it to be. But it's not. Well, let me ask you this. There's some things I don't know about you. Which is interesting because I've known you for a while now. But I don't know if you dance there's music played. Like, you know, me I can't not dance when music's plate right at the house. Second music comes on. I am dancing. And I just don't I don't know that about you that would inch you up or down on the soul spectrum. Yeah. What did you want to be on the spectrum? I don't know. I just don't like the number. I don't think you know, me the do you dance around. You never why not. Maybe made me self conscious. I make yourself conscious. Now, maybe I feel self conscious will like Bill Murray would dance around. If Bill Murray was in the mood to dance he would dance, right. And so would Sam Jackson. That's true. Tom Cruise would not. I mean, he probably does. I don't even know this. Sued by Tom Cruise. I don't know other Tom Cruise with dance or not. I don't feel like he would well Tom Cruise. Right. He was actually the suspect is not the only spectrum to be on top crews of what a guy this son of a bitch is such a good actor the movies in is. They're so hard to be good in almost all the lines are cheesy exposition, they're like a threat to somebody there him expressing his anger. They're very hard. I watch those movies. What are those movies called Monica action movie? No the the series emission impossible. And I love it. He runs this man runs at one point in the in the most recent movie upwards of six minutes straight. Just sprinting he sprints now he's sprints in every movie, but he's sprints in the most recent mission impossible for swear, six minutes, straight almost no actor in the world. Could you film running for six minutes and still be interested after one minute? If you watched. Me run for a minute you'd wanna fast forward. So there's something that Tom Cruise has that. I don't have. And he has some spectrum that he's ten on. Then I'm a one on. So it's okay. You know that he is in pegging that specific spectrum? Yeah. Okay. That's true. All right. Okay. That's all that was all the facts. We can't end on this note your very upset about the five. Well, I'm not set you're pretty upset. Okay. Now back to when I'm not around you do some dancing. Yeah. You do. How much I don't know when you're in your car. No, you don't sing my car seeing when you're in your car. Okay. So you're on the singing's better. Your high in the singing spectrum, but maybe not so high on. No, I'm not high on a singing spectrum because I won't sing in front of you. Although I have heard you sing in the backseat. Right. And it's always great. You in fact, when I hear you saying my first instinct is to be happy because I want to hear you sing. But then it transitions immediately into anger because here you have this great voice. And I could be hearing it all the time. And you're denying all of us it and it selfish, and it's greedy in its crude and rude. I guess I'm also I guess your hand on the seltzer spec on the rude spectrum. So I mean. Yeah. Well, I guess there's one more thing. I could say a sore friend who was talking about wanting to date someone funny. You were saying that's about ego Wohl them. I didn't say is it about ego. I said just be certain Al Qaeda. It's not about ego. Okay. I guess one thing if. Yeah, you want to be surrounded by someone funny. That's fine. Okay. But if in fact, you really just want to be around someone funny. So that you have the approval of someone you admire them. Maybe that's not a great. Motivation. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So be clear like. It doesn't always mean. It's your ego can be that funny. People are fun to be around pure enjoyment. Yes. Hundred percent, I don't know. I think it's just it's just interesting to analyze why you're attracted to someone to to decide if it is just genuine enjoyment, or if it is eagle film. Right. It could be both a look it's the same thing happens for attractiveness. We'll sure you wanna be with someone attractive because you wanna be attracted to them. There's a whole layer of is that you want to be with someone attract people think your cats. So this is important to know whether you're attracted to them, or whether you're attracted to the notion that you're with someone attract. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Because you can be super hot for somebody who's not conventionally gorgeous like isn't going to be on the cover of a magazine for their beauty in some people would would keep. That would keep them from dating that person because they're ego wants to be with someone that should be on a magazine cover, even they think that person sexiest hell, I think that happens. Yeah. Yeah. I think it happens to every day every minute even these grand goblins, man. Yeah. I don't know if the goblins are grand other not they might just be junior goblins and small gobs socio goblin. All right. I love you.

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Wreck-It Ralph

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1:24:32 hr | 1 year ago

Wreck-It Ralph

"Uh-huh. Name's ralph. And I'm a bad guy. I'm a record wreck. Welcome to the now playing wreck it Ralph retrospective series. What's going on? This candy coated heart darkness, host advice. Stewart's other universities, greatest hero Arnie. Oh. And justin. Man. These conversations will be spoiler filled and may contain objectionable language. Favor. Mouth again. Listener discretion is advised. On. Today. We're discussing wreck it Ralph starring John C Reilly Sarah Silverman. Jack, mcbrayer, Jane Lynch Allen to Mindy Kaeling, Joel trueblue Ed O'Neill as bird eighty mclernon because it's really easy to get a big voice cast directed by rich Moore. This is your co host of now playing review at Arnie, and I've got to review it and Stewart without his children or the candy corn. And this is the podcast or with the most tragic backstory ever programmed Justin yet, you mention your children of the candy corn. I almost feel like I needed to adopt imaginary children because here we are. We added brief discussion of line. This isn't our first Disney film. But it feels like it. It's our first Disney original film. Big hero. Six was a Disney film. But it was a Disney film adapted from a marvel property as much as they'd like to try to make us. Forget that. Now, that's a TV show on the Disney channel does that what happened to it? So no sequel good it did well enough to continue as a TV series without TJ Miller, but not good enough to do another movie. How would they even title that? Would it be big hero seven big hero six? The battle continues. Brecca routh breaks the internet. You know? But sure here we are in full Disneyland. And you know, I do not find it a world of magic in a world of cheers. I find it a world of saccharin commercialism. I just need to put my bias out at the start of the show. Here's my problem with Disney as not that I hate them. And I realize I'm coming from a place of questionable stability as a person with Star Wars and marvel tattoos. But I find their stuff to be so shallow and so- aimed at kids that watching it. I went back and tried to watch three to one contact which I remember being the edgy adult version of Sesame Street when I was a kid, you know, you started as street, then you had your electric company, and if you're really cool three to one contact it does not hold up that show only worked when they had of the bloodhound gang on it. I only like spider made on electric company. But I just think that all their stuff compared to Pixar and even compared to what Warner is doing to be so milk toast. And I just do not understand grown people who just love Disney and without kids. Want to go on Disney cruises and all of that. I referred to them as Disney. What's I just don't get it? It's an awfully big tapestry. You're throwing over Disney by saying that you don't like their product they've been around so long ninety years at this point. You hate everything. Snow White listen, it's not for me anymore. I want back every watched Peter Pan when we did hook. It's not for me anymore. I remember liking Aladdin for the Robin Williams stuff. But there's nothing that I would give beyond a passing glance, and yeah, you said it'd been around. Yeah. I love that we start with a pixellated steamboat Willie here. But I can't think of a Disney product that is not Pixar that is not marvel. That is not Lucasfilm that is not touchstone Miramax. Or some of their other subsidiaries any Disney cartoon that comes out for their time in the fifties. There animation was cutting edge. But they're storytelling its entire success is based upon a bland taste that brings in the most people imaginable there, the McDonald's of movie makers, and I'll go through a drive through once in a while. But nobody's gonna save that a quarter Pounder is gourmet. I can agree with you on that. Aren't you like I can see both sides? And I'll add to that that what Disney is is a slice of America. It's a microcosm of what being American is. You know, it's kinda homogeneously a little bit Christian, but without being preachy, and it's mostly white. And now that they've gotten older yester- trying to do some diversity in some of their things. But put a lot of that aside as a dad I've had kids growing up and neither one of them ever. Really latched onto Disney. Rory was never a Disney Princess type akin. Tyler didn't get into all these movies that were out about that time. So I can see why somebody can become a fan of Disney much the same way where a fan of Star Wars warts, and all I can see that. I can also see the hatred for the rolling corporation that they are as they get bigger and eat up more of our beloved properties and stuff like that. And eat up many of our politicians, so they can keep that copyright law in their pocket. Totally and hey, I mean, I've had my run-ins with Disney I've gotten me letters directly from their lawyers before so maybe getting some. Blessing. As we know because my got taken. But I guess what I'm landing with that is going into a movie like this before I had seen it. Yeah. I would've called myself a Pixar guy, and let's see what you can do Disney. But I don't have big expectations of. That's the thing about Reckitt Ralph I really wanted to see this when it came out because damned as do a good job of being the Pixar rip off. Right. I mean, I thought this was a Pixar movie when I bought it. I bought this when it was a new digital release. And I'm like, we're gonna watch the new Pixar film. Wait, no, it's a Pixar wannabe film. It's Toy Story with pixels. Right. Pixar is part of Disney. I mean, you can't really separate them. Although I do agree. There is a different quality control. When you look at the early. John Lasseter directed Pixar efforts out to say this way. Anytime you hang around long enough. You're going to have absent flows. Disney has had great moments and low moments catch it at the right age, and you might really respond to some of it. I think that it's hallmark really was the captain Berg years. I think of the good Disney. Movies being actually the Princess movies anytime, they had a boy it was a problem anytime they had a girl it usually was a good one duty in the beast. Little mermaid those were the ones to check out. Okay. Maybe Aladdin, but you'd skip Hunchback whatever that Atlanta's crap was I sometimes like the music from that stuff. But I couldn't even stand. The Phil Collins song from Tarzan and I liked fill trained by that point. But I think is had ebbs and flows. And maybe it's time for someone else to prove that they can do what they can do. I had not seen record off. I thought I had. I had said, oh, yeah. I'm pretty sure I saw this one. And then I remembered I think I started it and like you aren't he was disappointed when I realized it wasn't Pixar. And I think it played out. But I was doing other things. I did not give it any real consideration. It changes it when you have kids around in your life. I also saw Zootopia not because I wanted to. But because I am an Oakland little girls that could sing every note of the Shaquir asong said, it's a. Great movie. And sometimes the magic is not the movie on the screen, but watching the audience enjoy it in your living room. I do think that there is something to be said about experiencing a family movie with the family that can't be replicated. When you're just watching it at home by yourself taking notes understand. I am never going to diss children's entertainment for children when I was young. I like Sesame Street on ice. I remember being at the convention center holding my countdown t on a stick. Remember, you know, that's. Like a sign Lega pennant at a ballgame. Only it was the count. And so it's on a leg Dowell. And I remember liking one hundred one mations the record album and the jungle book the record album when I was really young. It probably doesn't help anything that Disney had some crap years when we were growing up they were big to basically our parents generation because of yes, no, white and all of that. And then they became big again in the Katzenberg years. Let's underlined that when you and I were going to see movies. The last thing you were going to do the very last thing you were going to see was a new Disney animated film. They came out very rare. And when they did come out, they were black Caudron Oliver and company great mouse detective crap films that no one liked. And so we didn't we missed it. We were too old for little berm aid. When it came out. I was in high school, and I still liked it when I saw it. Okay. This would. One of my favorite movies evade seen it at the right age. I could still recognize the quality. And I do think that you're right. That doesn't endear us to want to see our old friend Disney still doing well in this day and age because we just don't have those childhood static. I mean, they may try on they made black hole. I saw those black hole. Black Coldren black stallion was kind of a yawn fest. Tron was pretty black. Got years when I really was thinking about cartoons. I liked to get remember my older sisters who are quite a bit older than me. They're basically baby boomers to my gen-x. I remember being a kid, and they were all shocked that I hadn't seen so many of those Disney films as a kid because now Disney has their vault. They're going to re release it on video. But before then their vote was we're going to put it back in theaters lady, and the tramp was the one it was re released in theaters. And my sister was like you've never seen lady. I hadn't even heard of lady trae up. So when I was thinking about the movies, I liked you know, I'll give them this. An American tail was really await. That's not he broke off. Kind of cool with secretive nem, I thought that was a cool one. But even after that. Yeah. Five all and all dogs, go to heaven. I was I didn't see a lot of animated movies at an impressionable age. And consequently as I approached this movie in adulthood, I'm not that jazz. We're only really here because it's like a secret level of video games. Right. We're only doing this because we're kind of tying it in the same way that we did with ready player one into the idea that this is a movie that celebrates gain culture, even though it isn't a direct adaptation of any particular game. Although I imagined there probably is a wreck it Ralph game now. Yeah, they put one out for flash that was free to play at the time right now for wreck it. Ralph breaks the internet. I just looked today. There's a pacman for iphone that's free that has Reckitt Ralph characters that I haven't played it yet played it by next week. But I'm guessing record welcomes in messes with the game. Yeah. And I mean, it might be kinda cheap because every dizzy characters in there. But they have that game where you. Little action figure and you put it on the base. And now that characters playable in the world isn't Infinity, and it there you go. It didn't last even had all the Star Wars and marvel characters in it, and somehow they just could not compete with the sky Lynn. Well, even though this is based on a game the game in the movie is fix. It Felix junior which I happen to find an actual arcade machine of this at WalMart. It's a little twenty dollar andled thing, but you can play the levels of fix it Felix junior right here on your screen. So I was a little disappointed. How little there is to do there? There's no cut scenes, there's no intros no wedding scene. Where like Felix varies the character from? No, none of that fun stuff, man. Like, even in the movie, we'll see some cut scenes where he gets up there and ereck stuff, and they throw him off the side and all that stuff. None of that happens here. They throw them up the side. But you're always looking at the building. So there's none of this off to the side stuff, but Disney did make actual arcade machines of this that I think has the full experience and threw it in some of their little known arcades around the country for a while there. They also had one of the best bonus features on the Blu Ray for this. They have fake commercial. Nls for this like come down to the arcade. Bring your borders to free quarters on your birthday, and like really scratched up negatives and things for these eighties games, the fix it Felix junior and for sugar Russia, they had more modern ones for heroes duty and things. I like that they go into that little level of detail for it. And you know, I may not be a Disney kid, but God knows I'm an eight bit person at heart. I love eight bit. That's what caught my eye with Reckitt. Ralph is q-bert you Couberton something. I'm there. I love Cuban. I watched the Hubert cartoon, I had little construction paper Cuban characters of wrong way. And all all over my Rome. Cuba was my jam. And if you're gonna pull q-bert out, I mean, yes, everyone knows pacman. Everyone knows Donkey Kong. But if you're going to bring in Cuba, you're showing me you're a little bit more legit. The fact that Reckitt Ralph he looked like a human. Honky con- you definitely could see the inspiration. It's not a real game. But it's a game that yes, this one had my attention. It caught my eye was anxious to revisit eight bit world. All right. Well, let's do it then aren't giving the plot. And we'll jump into this coin up world of there's in the eighties. Everyone had pacman fever kids. Swarmed arcades to compulsively feed quarters into Donkey Kong Tron, dig dug, frogger, q-bert and fix. It Felix junior and eight bit blast. Where your hero Felix tries to repair damage made to a high-rise by his nemesis, Reckitt Ralph. But now thirty years of past Ralph voiced by John C Reilly is having a bit of a midlife crisis. He's tired of being the bad guy and ostracized by all the citizens and his game when the arcade closes the characters travel through the power chords to interact with each other and Ralph even joins us support group for bad guys with bows earns Angi, but when the city. Dozens of the game give Felix medal for thirty years of fixing the house rough decides he's going to go to other games to get a medal of his own and he actually gets a medal from the shooter game hero's duty. But while fleeing one of that games, evil insects. Ralph ends up in the racing games sugar. Rush their character vanilla p van sweets voiced by Sarah Silverman. Steals rouse medal. Vanilla p is a Mel functioning glitch ostracized by her own candy coated land, but she thinks if she can win the race. She'll be accepted and to get his medal back row says he'll help me get a car and win the race. And the two outcasts form a deep friendship, but we have three other plots going on. I feeling voiced by Jack mcbrayer is hunting the grid to bring Ralph back because without his nemesis fix. It Felix junior. The game has been declared out of order Felix actually partners with heroes duty. Sergeant Calhoun voiced by. Jane Lynch Calhoun is hunting. And. Escape to bug that followed Ralph into sugar rush third the ruler of sugar rush. King candy voiced by Alan to dick is intentionally trying to prevent vanilla from racing while he tells Ralph it's because if she wins, the race her glitch could have all of sugar rush declared out of order the truth of it is king candy is rogue character. Turbo. No, sadly, not related to the coleco vision game. Instead turbo is a character who tried to take over the racing game road blasters and his acts caused that game to be unplugged. He now lives undercover ruling sugar rush, which he conquered by giving vanilla P m nesia. See vanilla is actually a Disney Princess and ruler of sugar rush. But with Felix rows aid vanilla does win her raising and get her memory back and Ralph save sugar rush from the cyber attack and Felix falls in love with and marries, Sorak Calhoun and Ralph. Turns back to his own game where he's accepted and befriended by the citizens of that game and across the arcade. He's able to see vanilla p has become a popular character in her own game as credits. Roll. I just wanna ask it may imply that some games go away and some hang around this arcane, a thirty year old, arcade. Are there any arcades left? What is this place that we're expected to believe has kept fix it Felix around, but is also bringing in things like heroes duty it should've had Dave and busters on the outside actually. And then I would've bought it. But then again that takes cards and not quarters. I mean, we're kind of living in like a little bit of a timeless zone here where it's not necessarily nailed down that we're in twenty ten or twenty twelve this could be anywhere between I would say ninety five and modern day. I've been to a number of bar cades. Yes. There aren't a lot of kids there. But they have all kinds of games old and new sitting next to each other. I love this one. I went to a New Orleans. They had this brand new completely immersive. VR Star Wars game literally next to pole position and tapper. It was just a great place to spend time. I recently went to a Chucky cheese thinking, I could play some arcade games. And that place is so depressing. They've turned it into Keady Vegas. Do. They let you without a kid. They do they give you a look. But there pizzas terrible. But I just want to play some arcade games. There's no, arcade games. Every single thing. There is gambling could not believe it's like, we're trading. The kids to go to Atlantic City. That was my arcade. That's what when I look at this. I think of two things Aladdin's castle and Chucky cheese pizza, both chains one of which serve pizza one of which didn't in both of which I spent hundreds of dollars at as a kid and no doubt. That's why he's going to break the internet with the new movie skits, they realize this concept. They have it works for the story. They wanna tell that there's an arcade and all the characters after hours get together at some central place and party. But there is no place like an arcade that we knew. Growing up when you wanted to see these characters back, then you had to go to a communal place. That was really important. Yeah. You could buy the version for home. But it usually suck. I mean, Atari twenty six hundred Donkey Kong we've already talked about that. I got so pissed off. I had like a flash memory remembering that wrong way. And we're not even in Cuba for Tari or the coleco. Right. Point is they created this fanciful place. That's not real. And so therefore, I think there's going to be a certain segment of the audience. It's not gonna have any personal identification. This is all for the people that were alive to play and remember an arcade and not necessarily for the child audience. They're going to be better served by the candy land that we go to later, but for the setup of this. It's sort of an adult fantasy. It is what I remember thinking when I was growing up. What would it be like to see all these people in a live action movie? What would it be like to see their story outside of eight bit? And at the same time in arcade, isn't such a concept that kids couldn't understand that the replaces like this. I mean, arcade machines still exist. I mean, go to local pizzeria, and there's a pinball machine in a couple cabinet sitting there. So I think a kid could grab onto this concept of a whole store filled with these things and not get too lost in the concept. I wonder if they may be Saul king of Kong because the lit wick the guy that runs the place. He's wearing a referee's shirt. I was. Thinking the same thing. Walter day. He was that kind of guy. So maybe they found that one arcade still exist, but again, no kids in that place. I definitely thought they were going off king of Kong because at the very end of the credits. There's a kill screen with like half the screen, all Jeb Dopp. Like we saw in king of Kong. I'm like, they are definitely referencing or watching that why wouldn't you? If you're making a movie about video games at the time you would consume every bit. They probably were smart enough to avoid things like postal and max Payne. They sure watched king of Kong and anything older than that. They probably even watched the John Leguizamo Super Mario brothers. And my biggest curiosity coming into this. I knew so little I don't think I saw trailer. And if I did I wasn't thinking about going to see it again, I have a real blind spot when it comes to animated films. But how are they going to do it were they going to do it eight bit style? What's it gonna look like LEGO movie with the whole thing be like? It is here in the intro. When you get to see what you would have seen. If you walked up to a coin up in one thousand nine hundred eighty three I would've loved that game. Of course, it wouldn't actually appeal to the true demographic, it would only appeal to us. I love I can't tell you how much like I would watch crime and punishment. If someone could program that for the Atari, I just love watching real things get turned into this. Which is why I get the appeal of Minecraft even though when I play it. I'm like what's happening? Light full about seeing the world reduced to a few pixels. The thing they did. Here was the compromise. And I didn't catch it. I didn't see it. I'm not an animator just look to you to see if you could call this out. But in watching the bonus features what they tried to do was scaled back their state of the art animation. So that the eight bit characters would move eight bit. They would never move diagonal with the exception of Ralph because they wanted to be a lovable character and B route sick of it all anyway. But the law move on the grid everything in that land is based on cubes things like that very subtle details that would hearken two eight bit without alienating ninety two percents of their audience, and that's apparent especially inside of the game of fix it Felix junior. Because when they're in there all the characters that live in the tower. If you watch them move there like. Almost dropping a frame rate. You know in the dance party scene. They're all doing very herky-jerky type of moves that seems like yeah. This is a nice between of an eight bit in a smooth animation. But just having that little bit up front. I don't think I could watch a movie like that. I feel like I'd be maybe getting ready to glitch out myself. It's not for everyone. But it would be for me. I would love to have seen it all done in that way. And again, all movies, like remake, everything in that style. I will watch it. Sure, there's YouTube channels dedicated to that there are and I get so lost in those where they take movies and do it all in eight bit style. There's Pulp Fiction relieve this is done. Yes. I have not a YouTube person. But I need to find us. Yeah. I've seen Halloween and kill Bill and Star Wars eight bit formats, it's great. I'll just spend hours doing that. But I don't know that I could go to a theater and watch it on a big screen for one hundred minutes. Not. Only that but they make the point when they pull out of the machine and then go back in these characters have three D life. So that makes sense that when it's after hours and kids go home, we see more of them than you would when you're playing that screen, but the best part of this entire movie is the first few seconds of this movie where we just get to see them reference, the Donkey Kong dance and tearing down a building rampage style. They're clearly referencing all the games that I played in loved as we get to see who this this movie is just chock full of Easter eggs little secrets and little aside jokes that are just sometimes you'd have to watch the movie three or four times a catch all of them. But yeah, you can tell right away that this movie is made by people who have an affinity for the history of games. And as somebody who has that I really do improve. She ate all that they're bringing in and all the licenses that they're working with. So that you can have characters from street fighter and pacman. And all the little things going on that they do. But I didn't get from the trailer that this was going to be Toy Story the video game version. But when I watched this the first time as soon as I see them all traveling subway through power chords into the power strip that is the terminal and hanging out together. And we're going to see what happens after the arcade closes. I'm just not sure that I believe that can seat because these characters don't go in the twin box together, I can believe Mr. potato head may have a thing for Barbie. Because I remember mixing and mashing my toys as a kid as much as I made love to seek Huber and pacman join forces. I just never could understand how they interrelate link this and wouldn't the people from hero's duty just like make fun of the old stodgy Grandpa's that are moving in eight bit. I wonder if during the writing of this movie has a lot of writers on all animated films. Do they always pass it around thirty people write something and five or ten people get credited, I wondered if that wasn't going to be the battle. I assumed that the buzz light year was our Ralph here he was the eight bit. And he was going to meet some new fangled thing who was more like Woody or something like that. And we would have that adventure. It isn't that? But that becomes subtext. It's not the story. They're here to tell. Right. And like you said store they get that out of the way right away. I mean, we have a meeting where we get all these disparate characters from disparate games over a span of many years. They're all recognizable. But they're not going to be in their own little styles. Blinky or whichever goes that was wasn't a bit glide climate not maybe Stewart. But I'm with you yarn for me with an animated kids movie. I need to be in on the conceit of what magic world we're gonna go into with Toy Story. You're right. I can imagine toys coming to life when I'm not there. And it's kind of actually what I fell off with Pixar is I could go along with bugs having a life. I could go along with monsters living in another world cars as whereas like, yeah. No. This isn't for me cars. You mean, doc Hollywood the animated movie exactly what I found. Interesting. Is you talked about all the writers? And it's only a fifteen minute feature at but I actually do recommended off this Blu Ray with a talk about the evolution of what the story was going to be. Can you believe the entire idea was them sitting around going? It's going to be fix. It Felix falls in love. The hero of the game was going to be fix it Felix. And they had Reckitt. Ralph was going to be this monkey monster. Looking thing that nobody liked and like after three or four drafts? This cadre of writers realized this is the guy the story needs to be about Felix. He has everything going for him. But what about this monster? We have that's off living in break. So the fact that they didn't have this in mind when they start it shows that yes, sometimes there can be a too many cooks situation. And I think that's the case a lot where a couple of people work on a script than a couple more people come in and rewrite the script rewrite the script here though. It was more like a writer's room, and they were really being pushed John Lasseter really kept pushing them and they'd go to them with the script. He'd like, you know, you guys have something here. Now, let's take it in this direction. Let's keep working at a working it and not rushing them into it. And they even had cut scenes that were Pennsylvania may. With the animators doing the voice over and their scenes, and I'm like where in the hell with this even a fit. There was a moment where Reckitt Ralph got so disparaged he went off. And he basically went to extreme Venus vacation remember that from dead or alive the beach day where play volleyball of these he and a surfer dude went to a different game where everything was cool, and you just partied, and you danced on the beach, and you just had fun all the time. And for some reason, he was not content there at left. How does that even fit into this movie will it fit for five drafts ago? Sure. And I can see that being one set dressing too, many already jumping from all these different worlds two different worlds. But you said something there that makes me kinda wonder when the casting became a thing. And when the character development became a thing because with the least our first four major characters here, I feel like the design of them takes a lot of the actual actors looks and personality animates them what I found is that the casting was actually done before the script. They knew who is going to be who because the animators were trying to mimic, John, Reilly's voice and against Sarah Silverman, doesn't have a lot going on. She came in and did all kinds of readings for just tests and things that they'd show. So they obviously knew what they were going for which makes me wonder if John Riley thought he was in for like a couple of. Weeks recording studio and the next thing. You know, you're the lead now, and they did something else though, what I found interesting I've seen so many making of animated films where I feel bad for the people because they're just sitting in a room doing their lines again. And again, they actually brought all these people into record their dialogue. They always record the dialogue before animation. So they can time it, right? But it led to a lot of ad-libbing things. So the actors themselves really brought a lot to their characters that wasn't on the page in a way, you don't normally see unless you're Robin Williams in Latin in a animated film, and I think that comes through. I mean, a lot of that synergy is there on the screen too. That's why I was wondering what the timing of. That was I also think it was very trendy around this time. I mean, I guess it goes all the way back to hook. But it became very trendy to recast fairytale villains as the central figure on Broadway wicked became a big thing. And it was all about looking at the wicked witch of the west being more sympathetic than Dorothy and Shrek kind of had a lot to do. With thinking differently about fairy tales malefic, they're even working on a Cruella DeVille movie right now, I just think that's kind of where we're at. And so that is a fresh take. Well, what does it mean for the villain that they have to play a role that they don't want to that? They have to always be the bad guy when they have a glee hard of John C Reilly that gives you some dramatic weight to play with and to me. This just seems like the ultimate Disney story. The fact that the worked so hard to get to what I feel every Disney movie has was dumb founding to me because when I watched the movie for this review before doing any of the bonus features. So I've seen the movie twice. And I'm watching it. And I'm like here we go. It's the story of the outcast learning. Self acceptance and learning friends, you know, what bugs me about this movie. And it really bugs me Felix is too nice. I think Felix should really be a bit of a nemesis. I would picture him as basically the winkle vibe from the social network is who feel. Should be the fact that Felix is such a nice guy, and everybody's nice. The only bad person we have turns out to be the king of candy land that everybody's just going to get along in the end it just felt so wretchedly saccharin, and I would like to see I think Pixar would bring a more nuance to these Garrick tres instead of everybody's good. But we just need to kind of come to terms with who we are. Well, argue that picks are played the same formula. I would argue the nuance idea is to have no villains to say that. There are good people and bad people is unknown. St-? What they've always done is pit Woody and buzz together or whatever the monsters are together. I mean, you have odd ball couples and they work out their problems, but nobody is defined as bad. I think that they were definitely looking at buzz and Woody and thanking Ralph and Felix will be the movie, and then they. Ended up finding that the movie itself didn't leave them together until the end and add to that. You know, you say that the only bad guy turns out to be turbo. But he had that entire land of sugar rush. Brainwashed. And they all treated vanilla p as if she was a bad person. So you had to hold land of bad people, essentially. So I think having Felix be a little bit on the nasty side just to have a little bit of contention between him and Ralph would be kind of overdoing it by the time. They get to sugar Russia, and perhaps just the movie's called Reckitt Ralph vanilla p is a different issue that will get to have issues with that character and her plight overall. But when looking at Ralph whole thing, I'll say this. I like the entire first half hour this film a lot. I like seeing Ralph trying to make the people like him because again, it's so easy to make the rampage correlation, and what a better movie rampage would be if it was George the ape trying to make friends with. A buxom lady in the window. Instead of that movie. We reviewed earlier this year just love that concept of this huge destructive thing that's how I'm programmed. But we all are in this together. We're all in the same workforce. Basically because what nobody seems to realize in the high rise of fix. It Felix is without Ralph. They're all going to be homeless. They're going to be unplugged. They're going to be out with q-bert at his tint. That was the saddest thing was homeless q-bert. But here's my disappointment. Is we get the setup for all of this? We're introduced to this land. We get to see all these characters and how they interact that's the movie I want we leave all this behind when Ralph decides I need a metal to saw Felix get a medal for our thirtieth anniversary. I always left out. I'm going to go to a metal all of a sudden all the fun. I had of the toys in the toy box coming together and playing together is completely left behind as we spend the rest of the movie with the exception of a cameo or to focusing on games that didn't exist in two of which aren't even eight bit games. You've got Felix going into heroes duty, and that was kind of fun. I mean, I didn't think it was very call of duty. But it was like record route stepped into the set of starship troopers. See it sounds like the movie that you were hoping for and being ready player one. You know, we go to that world. And we stay in that world for the most part here. Here. We get thrown into a world and all these characters are part of that fabric. But I don't feel like we need to hang out here forever. I'm ready for a story. I'm ready to go into a world and settle in to the actual meat of this movie. The movie can't just be a bunch of references. It can't be just remembered Cuba. Remember should know? Be remember remember remember? Yeah. That would never work for show family guy. It could be done. I think it was called the emoji movie. But it's not what would dramatically work, and they are trying to work on a picture level. So they will eventually settle in the world that doesn't feel very video game at all. But I do think maybe at some point. They were the Goshi hitting the idea that Ralph is going to team up with a new generation video game character we see that when he's playing heroes duty his way out of his league. I thought there might be some kind of generational bias. And that it would be the old guy having to learn how to be like the young soldier and vice versa that the soldier that he takes the uniform from could've been his partner in crime and not glitch. You're halfway there. It was always going to be glitch. But it was going to be a road movie with Ralph and Felix coming together on this whole thing Felix was going to be there the entire time instead of playing catch up, and they realize we got too much Felix in this. They took it out. But the entire. Second act of this movie was Felix Ralph together, they never mentioned having a new character, which I think would have been a good dynamic you then have an even odder couple. I mean, as it is you have the couple you've got the big guy in the brood who with the little guy who's persnickety. I mean, they're going there. But it's not like, I just want references. I mean, admittedly, I'll say up front, I will have more fun. If I spent one hundred minutes and ten dollars in a bar Cade versus one hundred minutes and ten dollars for a ticket for this movie. Because of the generation I am, but I can't think of toys story, it's not like when they decided to go with their own characters Woody and buzz Mr. potato head and beau peep slinky dog went away. They were always part of the story. That's just not what they're doing here here when we do get into the candy land game. And really when Sarah Silverman comes in is where it does just become its own universe. And that's fine. It's just the commercials for this game played to my nostalgia. And you gave me nostalgia for thirty minutes. And then you took it away, and you replaced it with Sarah Silverman, who I used to really like, Sarah Silverman. I did I used to be pro Sarah Silverman. And everything the I'm Barra med Damon. Song was really funny, but something happened to her a little bit. After that. I watched her stand up comedy, and she had this entire monologue from her vagina and from that point on. I've just never found her. I do like servile I've always found her funny. I caught onto her pretty early on. She was a bit character and mister show one of my favorite all time sketch comedy shows, and I've kind of followed her career and seeing her here was just kind of a bonus for me. This movie isn't going to live or die on her performance. I think she does fine playing kind of an off kilter character here. But you guys are saying that candy rush feels out of character to me. I think it's striking a balance for this movie up. Oh now, it's been an astrologer walk. It's been kind of aimed at boys and shooter video games. And all this stuff. This is where we find balance shirts all bright colored and girly feeling but it is a racing game at heart. And I think this is where it's going to bring in more people and not make it just a boy testosterone fueled movie. Yeah. I mean, it reminds me of candy land, which is a board game and not a video games. That's probably in development to you could have made that movie, and it would look a lot like that. I just think that if you were gonna make a movie about video games, it probably should always feel like you're in a video game. That's all I would argue. This does have a video game vibe. I do feel like it feels like a racing game that is desert themes like I've never seen that. But if there was one sugar Russia's it. It's Mario Kart meets candy land. Yeah. But this is where Ralph is going to find his equal. He's gonna find someone else that lives in a dump. Who's also labeled the villain and doesn't like it. And wants to prove that they can be hero. Even though everyone thinks that will be. A disaster. His soul mate is vanilla p. And you guys mentioned, Sarah Silverman. I don't have any opinion about her. I don't watch a lot of stand up. I don't know her. But it doesn't matter. Right. I mean, who's a fan of Craig t Nelson. But he was great as Mr. incredible. When you're dealing with voice actors, you can forget all of that baggage about whatever they do when they stand in front of a camera, and they can become the character. I think that Sarah Silverman is this lifting little rascal. That is the Ralph of her world, I would mostly agree, especially when you deal with Craig t Nelson because I watched coach a lot. But I forget that's him. And I even question do I bring up the actors, but I also think there's like Justin said the characters here, look like they're actors, and when I hear Jack mcbrayer, and I finally look this up that man's name is actually make a Breyer. I never believed. It. I always thought that was a stage. Peer to come up with the stage name it just feels like an act, but that squeaky voice, and he looks like fix. It Felix junior. Which is Felix Felix. No. But who is who's Jack mcbrayer, thirty rock? He was the page. I've never seen it. He was the breakout character. I dare say on thirty rock also was in forgetting Sarah Marshall, he's done a number of movie. But the thing is he plays one character. And you're seeing it here too. And I think the same thing with Sarah Silverman. I just hear her voice. I did not know that was Alan to dick in this movie. Which is who he's king candy. He's really putting on a voice. No. I mean, I don't know who these actors are. Anything I've ever seen Sears Silverman. Anything? I've never seen any of these people that you're referencing and saying they look just like them, really. 'cause I don't know where they work Allen to dick was mostly I think firefly, but he was also in Tucker and Dale versus evil. He was the droid in rogue one who was like the most popular character in rogue one. You guys are Reverend things I feel like I've missed like entirely fleets have boats. I'd missed I don't know. And to was Steve the pirate in dodgeball. I've just see this guy all over the place, including conventions. I go to but he does and I did not realize it, but Sarah Silverman, and Jack mcbrayer here are themselves. Yes, I agree. Jack, mcbrayer has less cachet than Sarah Silverman. Which means he also has less baggage. Yeah. And if you're casting type if indeed if I were to see this guy, and some sitcom or something, and he was this guy that seems smart you want their genuine quality to come through. I don't have any problems with anybody in the way that they're portraying the character through the voice glitch. I do think it's right to have a female character. But she's kind of just the way she shows up. It's very Dennis the menace, which is not one of my favorite characters. But hey, Mr. she's so happy to grab the medal and take it away from our hero. And it just she reminds me of scrappy do that just rankles me, she should be sugar adult, and I believe she comes off that way. She gets better is what I can say that introduction. Is it almost made me turn on the entire film? I really had just about when I realized Cuba was gone and replaced with this. I was pissed you just want to be. You just want to be moving into again, she's cast villain. So if we at I turn up knows we're going to have the conversion everyone else does to realize that deep down. She aspires to things in his capable of things. And is something that people don't give her credit for being. And we're gonna find out really quick either. You're going to go along for the ride with this character and feel sympathy for eventually after we see that she's not just being bradey. She is actually an outcast and the way that other people here treat her I can see somebody falling off of this movie. If you're not willing to jump on board and follow her story. Yeah. I think you're more inclined to like her because she is bullied. We'll see. All right. She wants to race whatever that means. But the sea an entire candy world, gang up and tear up or car. Well, yeah. Now, I suddenly see the corollary between her and Ralph. They are the same cast out. They live in a dump and no one will let them be what they truly want to be. I agree that they're very. Similar in that way. And I do feel bad for her. What I don't get though, the reason she's an outcast is because she has a glitch. She fades out and teleport's across the screen and nobody else in that entire game. Does it? We're never told. Why right? And it's never fixed. It's not like the nesia. She was given when turbo took over created the problem in her head and created her being this glitch. No, no, no, we're made to believe that the glitch happened when turbo disconnected her programming from the main source, that's where her glitch came in. And that explanation comes really really late for much of this. I think we're understand her as developmentally disabled are just different on the autism spectrum. Right. I mean, someone that people judge and people's opinions matters everything one thing that I think is really relevant that is going to connect with today's kids as. What people playing the game? Think of these characters is what goes if they don't like what they're seeing the game get slapped with out of order, and they're hauled off and these people are homeless. This is a character whose difference makes her controversial if she were to get in the driver's seat and be a regular playable avatar for people to play that just plunked in a quarter. The game might be discontinued that is the fear. And it's because she's broken though. I mean, a glitch. She literally does not follow the physics of her game playing with her akin to cheating. I would think okay. I can see that perspective. But this movie really hit a note for me and my family because at the time it came out. We just found out that my daughter had epilepsy. Oh, she was diagnosed with epilepsy. And we had no idea what was going on for a while. But one night we actually caught her having a seizure, and it kind of freaked us out. We went to the ER, but if few days there, they didn't know what was wrong and event. Today had her in an MRI machine and the activity in her brain synapses misfiring, and we're able to go ahead and label it what it was. So we had some answers they got our medication and she's been healthy ever since. But at the time, this was a great movie for her. We could say, hey, you have a glitch because how do you tell a six year old? There's something going on in your brain that you can't control and some kids might think it's weird. If you do have a little bit of a fit in front of them. So this movie was nice piece to have her watch and have somebody to connect with on screen. So I can see Arnie's point of view where it's yeah. It's kind of a cheat and a video game. And that's a glitch e is I mean when you say somebody's glitches that means they're cheating. But for personally, it really hit a note at a time in my life when I need it. Oh, yeah. I think being different is the constant you'll see that in most any Disney movie of any era if someone is different and ostracized for that. This is makes it contemporary because there are a lot of kids. I mean, the diagnosing of kids on the auto. Mm spectrum is very high right now. So there are a lot of people that are now finding out that their kids for lack of a better term have glitches. And this is a movie that is going to tell them. Hey, that's okay. And you guys are completely right? And I want to say I'd never thought about that with this because we're in a video game world and her glitch. She's definitely ADHD. But I never took that as you know, what I'm saying. I took her glitch as her teleportation, she's like fading out of reality. Like back to the future with Michael J, FOX at the end. And so I didn't get that the way just now that you've said it, I think that's a great representation for children to have their because. Yeah, you don't get that in older media. Sometimes I look at a new cartoon. And I ask what does it bring that an older cartoon doesn't and that is very important in this world rules, though, it creates conundrums that our mind in inane lake because she's a. Glitch. She can't leave the game when everybody else can leave the game. This movie is so full of rules that these people had to come up with like, how do we get the characters to go together? They're going to go out the power cord. I mean, I could nitpick say power court doesn't transmit any data. But I'm not going to. Fantasy. Dallas falling through a looking glass isn't going to take her to wonderland either. It's going to take her to the ER against. You gotta go with it already. I don't know what to say find that child deep within you. And I think some of these problems are hand wave is you might make them out to be. I mean, go back to king candy disconnecting her from the main programming. That would explain why she can't leave the game. Everybody ken. They're still connected. She's outside of that this king candy. I didn't expect it. I'll just go ahead and say early on they tease the phrase, you talk about all the lingo when rules Arnie one of them is Ralph is gone. Turbo. And turbo. And what is turbo? And again, my mind is thinking of eighties. There was a very popular. It was one of the first racing games where you actually sat down to play. It is what I remember. And then when coleco brought it over you had to buy the whole steering wheel controller turbo was one of the only racing games that I liked. I have a great affinity for it. But this character is made up. This is a different turbo from unreal. Video game racing game who legend has it because he was. Jealous of new generation games broke that fourth dimension came over into it, which is fine. When it's after hours, but not fine. When there are people there to play what people think matters people thought the game was broken. And that meant all those characters supposedly hauled off to the junk yard. When in fact, we'll find out that turbo has reinvented himself in sugar rush. It is a racing game. And he still wants to race. And you'll notice that king candy does jump in like when he's having an hosting this race. He's not happy watching from the sidelines. He is the first one day be revving the motor and speeding off when they're racing to play avatars even coming back. And watching the second time, I didn't remember. But he's obviously antagonistic he does not want vanilla to race. Right. He's trying to stop her in every way. And so you see him as a villain. But there's one scene they convince me where he takes Ralph. Side and says what you said if she becomes one of the playable characters everybody could leave except for her. She won't even be homeless. She'll go away when they played this game because she's a glitch. So it made it seem like everything he was doing. He was doing for her own good and the good of the entire civilization. I found that to be a much more interesting conundrum than what we're gonna find out actually happens. Yeah, he's very convincing, and that speech, and I also think because he physically reminds me of the mad Hatter from Allison wonderland the way that to dick is doing the voice in all of that feels very much like the Disney version of that character mad Hatter was a minor villain. He was annoying. Maybe but he wasn't the Queen of hearts that was going to chop off your head. So I just never suspected him of being the big bad. Right. And everybody's credit. He really doesn't turn into the big bad until really late in the game. I mean, we start to see a little bit here and there, but when it is revealed. It is. It's a surprise. And it's a surprise that works, but it's gonna take a while to do that. And of course, we gotta have a middle where these two outcasts have to learn to work together. You know, this is where I remind myself this is made for younger people. There's a lot of underlying themes if you didn't understand what was happening. They're going to tell you often, oh, you're going to have to build something not wreck something. And this is what heroes do they just have to make sure that everyone in the audience, the young we wants to understand what's being taught here, and that could be a little patronizing for older jaded people like myself. They don't see that many animated films. It made me wish I had my nieces because their joy is infectious. And I would enjoy this a lot more. If I were watching people that were enjoying that. And even inside of that a lot of movies might just take shortcuts and gives a bunch of montages and whatnot. But this movie does remember that it is a video game movie. And one of the things we get to watch is a mini game inside of this movie. Then I appreciate that. I can. Appreciate them going to that extent. And having a mini game to build your racer. Especially in today and age when many games are coming about. And we live at a time now where most kids don't have an arcade. Like, we talked about most of their games are many games on their phone. Yeah. This does feel like a phone app. Right. Like bak- cake Baker car, you got to keep the bad ingredients out and keep the good ingredients. This feels like something everyone would play on Facebook after farmville for the next couple of weeks, by the way, would you reply to my request. I need more frosting points. Indeed. As soon as we wrap this up here. I think this part of the movie is fine. I'm not going with the chemistry between Ralph and vanilla. I'm wondering were they ever supposed to be lovers? That sounds weird. Because of course, the way it plays. I didn't get that. But because we have a subplot in which Felix is going to fall in love with Calhoun, the hardest general played by Jane Lynch who comes from hero's duty, the idea that those two are going to find some kind of chemistry again, I wondered about the relationship between old eight bit games and new fangled, computer games. And all those pixels were supposed to be happening in parallel as it turns out Ralph vanilla p it's more friends or mentor ship. They both understand each other because they both come from the same dump and so to speak, but I wondered if they were supposed to be more like Felix cow whom I never saw that in any of the. Stuff that was there. Maybe when it was Felix's main story looking for love, it might have been her instead of Calhoun, which would have made more sense. But the way they've drawn Ralph where he does look like a middle aged construction worker and the way they've drawn vanilla p where she looks like an infant and preschool. This is finally conceived visually we horrified if anything where to transpire here. Yeah. No, what we end up getting is characteristic for Ralph where he discovers it. It's less about his happiness and what he can do from self to make them. So feel better maybe helping somebody else out is what he's missing out on. But I just don't like their repartee. And this is a me thing if I was six body odor and fart brain jokes. Would make me giggle. I'm closer to sixty six and I'm just like this is not for me. Now, I'm not gonna argue with that again it is more enjoyable when someone in your on inches laughing. And when you're watching this alone. And no one is laughing you start to wonder does this play is this is good. I will say this when I want to Pixar movie, I usually find something for myself, even when this level of humor is going on. It is a deficit of this film that they haven't given us me. My demographic something while they engage in this kind of more infantile patter. Agreed. That's the thing where I'm going to really love a movie that is G rated aimed at kids is the ones that can appeal to all audiences. I felt like I was getting my fix. I mean, I enjoyed the first Shrek quite a bit. I enjoy several Pixar films. If you can give me something and the kids something like the old muppet movies used to I'm going to be very very happy here. All I can do is go if there was a little kid here. I'm sure they'd be loving it. And that's a step away from dragging your imaginary kids out of the mutant ninja sewer. But I don't see anything here that I feel does not meet its goals everything they're trying to do their accomplishing. But everything they're trying to do is not aimed like you say. A middle aged male sitting alone in his living room watching after the first half hours gone. There's nothing savvy. There's nothing hip, but it is working on its own terms. Exactly. You can't be everything to everybody at all times. And I think at this point the movie realizes that it's aiming to be a family movie rather than just a kids movie, and they're not going to be able to hit everybody the whole time and keep everybody engaged. Right. We all know this. If someone believes that what they are is not good enough, the lesson to learn that Ralph is going to learn that destroying things is actually a help. Yes. He destroys her cart and her dreams of competing in the race because he's offered that medal. But when he goes back to the Felix game and finds that living alone in the Penthouse's know better than living alone in the dump. He's gonna come back and wreck the prison and break them out and Felix can join in because he's got the magic camera that can fix whatever got broken including her cart. The one thing. I really did. Enjoy. Is Felix and the Sarge trying to infiltrate the candy land and getting stuck in the Nestle quicksand the way they were able to get out is by having Jane Lynch beat him up. So the Laffy taffy would laugh income closer. But then he fixes own injuries by hitting himself in the head with a hammer that for some reason is goofy enough. I'm going to heal myself by injuring myself hitting myself in the head with a hammer. Yeah. I agree there bovines here. I've never tuned out. I can say that to the movies credit. I never feel like, oh, I just this is so terrible. But I do feel like the moments where I smiled are get a laugh in our fewer and far between than I would like. But that was something I liked watching guy begging to have his teeth knocked out literally. And then being able to hit his face with a hammer and fix that. There's something to that. And luckily, this movie understands that it needs to keep its pace going, and it never dwells on any of these parts that were kind of complaining about is the baby talk. In the toilet talk. Like that. It's not overdone. It's there, but it keeps moving in. It's there to build a relationship or give us a funny piece, but it never dwells for too long. So that I'm thinking, what am I looking at here? It's almost too much that there's a bug invasion happening at the same time. You forget about the fact that Ralph has inadvertently by going from hero's duty into sugar rush. Brought this cyborg who can basically co up whatever it touches like at eight gun, and then it had guns for hands. Now that it's here in candy landed has a hard candy shell and laying eggs underneath the foundation. And we know it's going to hatch for that climax. It would have been enough just to have king candy. Turbo though. Right. It would have been a little cleaner. Even if we had just stayed focused on that. But I guess it would have been no reason for Calvin to come to sugar rush. If she wasn't trying to purge. We're told that if this virus isn't handled it will infect all games that seems like a different problem than what we were dealing with before. Which is that there's glitches in the game. Kids will demand out of order. Yeah. We've got so many weird things going on again fix. It Felix junior is going to be shut down because it has no bad guy. So nobody can play that game. We've got bugs infecting all the games. We've got a glitch who can't leave the game. I think they almost worked on it too much where they had a wealth of ideas. They're going to be a sequel some of this might have been better saved for it. Yeah. I mean, this what you call high concept. Hey, what if we had a world where all the video game characters live. Yeah. That's great. Well, what happens in it? And then yeah, you ask thirty people and get thirty different storylines and about twelve of them ended up in this movie. It's an abundance of good ideas that don't all feel well served by being stuck in the same film. And I think that the whole bug ending isn't overdone. I mean, I feel like it ups the ante little, but I mean, how would the movie end if it was just the race? And she crosses the finish line. Then what do we do with? King candy. Do we exile him? You could have him in the race. There have been plenty of racing movies. The one that's coming to mind is the Padres of the fans immense where the way you beat king Gandhi is by beating him in the race and taking his place. Like the winner of the race is the one who rules the lands. You dethrone him the same way the Tri lambs beat the alpha betas at the Greek games. I mean, there's plenty of ways you can have an exciting climax that does not involve the visual spectacle of a million bugs being attracted to a big light. But it becomes vanilla Ps victory at that. Here. We want to give Ralph something to do we want to also give visual candy in this candy land. If it was just a race. I don't know exactly. How could play a part of that? So you've got an LLC winning the race while row fights, the bucks. You're right. That's exactly why you do it because it's a two tier climax the first climax is her getting to the finish line. Nobody thought she could do it. And you know, she's the last to enter the. Race because she had been practicing her big jumping across canyons and incredible. There's this diet cola like lava field where she's been practicing and she jumped at 'cause she can do that. She can get ahead of all the other racers. And it's just down to her and king candy. But yeah, if it's record Ralph you want him to have an in boss. You want him to be a fight and the bug. Conversion is scary. I mean, I think it might even be a little too scary for the ones when you see him become a bug. It's frightening. Oh, definitely at the very climax. He's grabbed by king, candy and taken way up high in the air and the way he's holding him as kind of violent. He's holding his head and keeping his eyes open to watch vanilla die is the portal closes. It's a bit much for younger crowd. Yeah. It's intense. I think for that audience, but that's normal. I mean, I always liked everybody. People we want kids crying at the end of the Disney movie. We want them to be terrified for like five minutes. It's just a way of acclimating to fear. Right. Then like, you find out everything is, okay. And. You don't have to be so terrified of the unknown because you've seen it and you've dealt with it, and it can be vanquished. And it's vanquished here because he knocks down some mentos walls and the colas it lights up and shoot in the air. And that draws the bugs I thought it was the whole mentos soda thing where if you the mentos in the soda explode. Oh, you're onto it. See this movie is this movie is much a candy movie. So many like cops named like wind chill and Dunkin and they're made out of Dona. Yeah. There's so much candy talk going on again. That's just one of the ideas. Here was a candy leeann movie that never became to being. And that's right. I forgot that. But there are plenty of YouTube videos. I should really watch more YouTube. And actually really watch for YouTube words, very rarely said by anyone but the other side of that is nobody came here. These creators and said, I have a passion to tell a story about video games. I wondering if you're onto that where I didn't see it because rich more basically said he was given an assignment by John Lasseter says what about a video game movie? What if we had a Toy Story for video games? It's not like the accident stumbled into the writing assignment given was Toy Story for video games. And they're like, well I like video game salute me do that. But none of them love video games. You know, I didn't feel like any of them would have a space invaders tattoo. You know what I'm saying? They played video games. They have good memories video games. But none of them were like. I wanna make a video game movie. Somebody did there's ROY Jenkins reference on the wall and the terminal I mean, somebody is steeped in video game. More house lever Jenkins. You don't know. The LeRoy Jenkins me old world of warcraft video. Where all these guys are getting ready to go attack inside of this castle. And they spend twenty minutes talking about their strategy. And right before they go in one dude comes running in go and LeRoy Jenkins, and he describes up the whole thing. He goes in starts the battle. Everybody's dying. People are freaking out. It was huge probably about ten fifteen years ago. You know, that sounds a Kintu how Brett Ratner put. I'm the juggernaut bitch in X men three. But that doesn't mean he actually knew the nineties cartoon just saw for YouTube video. Yeah. Me saying it's huge things steeping lower. Maybe don't go hand in. But little details. Like that. This is somebody at least care enough to do their homework for something like this. Yeah. I think a lot of these people are passionate about some elements here. But when you mash all their ideas together, it feels different. I mean lion. King was invented the same way. And I think if we would ever review that movie I would have similar problems, but they do still find something cohesive. I wanna point out it doesn't feel mangled the way that sometimes things being rewritten. And redirected do I mean at the end of the day because it's animated means that they can go back and put a icing sheen on all of it. And it all feels of one piece this climax all builds and everyone learned their lessons and people get their girl, and it all works out. They end up making a very traditional Disney movie. Even though they went down some untraditional pass. But we finally get the end. And here's the big reveal. I know this. Really of set. Jacob. And so I knew this before I ever saw the movie because Jacob off air when Stewart Jacob recording. What time went off? It's gotta be busy Princess thousand. You just have a movie it's gotta be a secret. Like insidious anthrax laced letter of Disney Princess, so referential though, right? I mean, they make fun of it. She takes off the dress immediately and throws it away. We have a good six seven years of distance from in this movie came out and vanilla p as Disney Princess never became a thing. Yeah. I agree with that. Who knows we haven't seen the sequel? I do know that there are Disney princesses in it. And so time will tell how much they follow up on this. But I do feel like the ending brings the loop to close. Everyone gets exactly what they deserve. King candy slash turbo. Got destroyed. And when you die outside your game. He's gone. He won't be back into sequel. He's dead. And Ralph learns to love being thrown off the building because it gives them a great view of seeing vanilla game and his new friend and a reminder that he is appreciate it but dues this movie of reshi aided Justin Stewart's are you going to Reckitt, Justin. I think I gave my hand away pretty early here. This is a movie that I remember liking at the time. I watched it quite a few times with my daughter and. Yeah. Well, admit I probably have a bias because of what we talked about earlier towards this movie. So coming in. I wanted to kind of watch it with fresh eyes and see if there's just a little bit of hazing to style Gye had around this movie. But at the end of the day, I enjoyed it again for what it is. I think this is a good movie that can be put up there with other Pixar movies. Even though this is a Disney movie. I mean to me I'd watch this way before I watched cars or planes or any of that stuff because when I come into a movie that's three d animated with a cast of superstar actors behind it. What I'm looking for? Is a backdrop that is kind of magical and can pull me out of the real world and pay me along for story. I think Toy Story does that great. And it was one of the first it's probably gonna be the gold standard forever. And I think this movie does that it takes us two worlds where you can't necessarily go yet still has a tether to the real world. So watching this again, I really enjoyed it. There's a few things that I kind of stumbled across. I thought the race montage with the real world song like your foot on the pedal. Whatever that country song was pulled me out of it a little bit and unnecessary. But for the most part, I think it's well paced. I think it's gorgeous looking character design throughout this movie is really neat looking. And it's a movie that I think I'm gonna keep with me for my whole life, which makes me a little bit nervous that we're going to be going to the theater and revisiting this. Because to me, I don't know if they can go up from here. I think they only have room to go down into the diets Colva mentos fountain from here. So for me, it's a high recommend stew. You know, I don't have a lot of movies to draw on here. Again, my frame of reference. Unfortunately, for this film is Pixar. So I think I judge it probably a little too harshly because it is not as good as Toy Story. Any of those Toy Story movies? It does not have the emotional component that associate with the best Pixar movies. Now, I've seen some Pixar movies that were just kind of average like I would sorry. I would call incredible to kind of a flat one this one feels on par with that. But when animation movies touch me, I remember them. This is not going to be one of those. There are films that work for dads in their kids. And then there are films that just have dad jokes. And that's what this movie has a lot of it has a lot of references has a lot of corny jokes. I think it will be a delight for someone to sit with their family and experienced that. But it isn't the classic that it could have been. And I do think there's a lot of ideas to explore with video game world that could be more better. Utilized more entertaining. I have Embiid that we can get. Better in the sequel. So I'm going to say my recommend, but an optimum for where we're headed. And I'm coming down somewhere in the middle. I think the first half hour of this movie was strong recommend one hundred percent all the way because you had basically that Toy Story thing with video games where you had the old characters there with some new original ones. But yet making it the real world where they're going to the bar tapper. But they're hanging out at the bar. That's all they have to do Cuban and tavern Arnie recommend great era. Just been an episode of cheers in tapper. But when it gets out of the arcade it loses a lot for me. And it just becomes fine. It's never bad. It's a lot of time. Not for me. It's never bet. I'm glad that there's no musical number. I'm glad at no point do Ralph and vanilla decide to break into songs together. And then we'd have covered by Arianna 'Grande for the CD. There is a riana tune here. But yes, they don't sing. Yes. And Randy Newman had a song and Toy Story. But it doesn't bother me because it's not Woody singing it some day. I think we just need to review Toy Story. So I can actually be really positive about a cartoon here. It's a wannabe Toy Story. And so I'll give it a wannabe green arrow. You know? It's it's so recommend. I think it's a fine movie. I think the younger you are the brighter. Green arrow, it's going to be. And then I also think a lot of the stuff that I love about this movie completely lost on you. She didn't grow up with. It's a very fine balancing act this movie's trying to do, but I'm with Stewart, I think you can go up from here. I think you could have a more even movie now that the characters have been introduced I'm curious what happens when they go on the internet. This movie started off like it would be the road trip movie. They were thinking about doing with Ralph and Felix. But it ended up not being that at all. They just broke down and candy land and got stuck there. The next time. I'm very curious to see what happens to an aid big game in a hundred twenty eight bit world. I'm looking forward to next week. But yeah, I'm going to recommend this movie. And it's not even a reserved recommend. I said it earlier, I think it accomplishes. Everything it set out to do. It's just never going to speak to me outside of that first half hour. I hope they find a way to merge new characters and old next week a little bit better. See an scares me about next week. Is I'm afraid that they're going to go for that audience that they feel like they missed and we're gonna get a bunch of candy crush jokes and Facebook jokes. We'll see. Yeah. That emoji movie is a big hit our into saying, it was really it. Really was oh, I thought bombed because everyone hated it. And yet somehow it will have a sequel people hate watched it. I did for about ten minutes. And then I just hated it. Like, oh, I love. How is feel like okay? I'm out. That's just wrong that it did not kind. Pissed. Meanwhile, if you want some things that also deserve the poop emoji, but not this week night Shyamalan early in the night shove, the good years. We just covered six six last week. And this Friday will be touching on his follow up unbreakable. And this one's important because it's the movie that lays the foundation for where they're headed with glass. I saw once theaters I'm looking forward to revisiting it and seeing what we think now, and I wanna just thank every listener who is donated for this fall series. And hope you can join us for the night Shamlan. And if you can join us to be a patron this month, it's a really good month to do. So we just released Apocalypse Now for Veterans Day on Sunday, and it is one of my favorite war movies now, and then maybe forever patriot. It's daunting as of this recording. We haven't recorded that. And I do feel like we're going to go into the heart of darkness and like record breaking reporting time on that movie. It is certainly a classic that I'm looking forward to discussing. And I hope you can join us for that as well. And if you enjoy the show, please head died tunes and leave us a five star review. And if you didn't enjoy the show, please don't, but if you decide to it really does help spread the word about now playing and let other listeners know that they should check us out. So one second I'm having the time of my life. And the next thing I know my game is just done. Okay. Thanks. Thank you for joining us for this installment of now playing record Ralph retrospective. Come back to now playing podcast dot com. Each week for another new movie review podcast. We haven't been this popular in years. If you enjoy this podcast, you can listen to the other installments at our website now playing podcast dot com. You can also listen to hundreds of other movie reviews, including podcasts dedicated to every movie ever based on a video games like final fantasy resident evil and super. Mario brothers. You can follow now playing on Facebook and Twitter where we post announcements of new episodes, and where the host post movie mini reviews leaks to our social media pages or bailable on our home page. And. Relies on listener supports to keep operating. Mortar alert alert you can find details on how to support our show and receive exclusive bonus podcast at now playing patron dot com. We asked them to help us out on the bonus level. L playing podcast is produced by Oni Carvalo tension to details. Putting? Now playing video game retrospective series is edited by Ernie. Everything. Now playing credits read by Brock? Yes. On touch. The opinions expressed or of the individual host and may not reflect the opinion of guns of media Inc. Podcast. It's production of guns of media Inc. Copyright twenty eighteen all rights reserved. Then guns immediate is not -ffiliated. With in this podcast is nothing prepared approved or licensed by any entity that created the film, analyzed here in are you? Are you? Movie clips and music used in this podcast or the intellectual property of their respective copyright holders. They are included here for the purpose of review, and no infringement is intended there. Are there to protect? Now playing podcast is it trademark had no part of the show. It'd be reproduced repurpose or redistributed. And the downplaying trademark may not be used without the written permission of in guns of media Inc. What a day. Taveres Ken, you're buying. You know, Ed, just even when this movie started at got irked because it starts with that magic castle with the fireworks. And if you wish upon a star, your dreams, don't come true. If you wish upon a star, that's a terrible. Plus in your true, if you work for if you're left. All right. Funny aside on that cured above it a pain really because I was allowed to just right place in elementary school. And I would just on a weekly basis. All right. We're doing cabbage. Patch we discovered workshop this thing and put it on Friday and q. It was the last one. We did. I don't know. If you remember I had this whole idea about stacking chairs in jumping off. Got hurt. The end of my career as a playwright. Listen. The woman not falling off the top. Do. I think that people were robbed of a Tony award winning. Edward albee. I was not. But this the magic girl on the side throwing trying to there. Okay. Call nine one one. Even have the Billie Jean light up affects going on those. Working on that. I was going to run out there and pull the rug literally out from under them. And fix it Felix junior. And it really bugs me, by the way, Donkey Kong junior came after Donkey Kong, where's like fix? It felix. I'm hoping that's Reckitt. Ralph to is like we see the pappy because fix. It Felix junior. And you know, I used to love Bill Cosby. Pudding. Listen to all of Bill Cosby's standup albums never listened to them before. There are some really uncomfortable moments about like how guys just want it all the time. And you just gotta take it. Yes. This whole routine about Spanish fly at when he was doing. Yeah. What he was filming ice by the went to Spain and look for Spanish fly. Wow. They made jokes about that. In the Cosby show. Like that was something he carried on like, there's people have pulled clips of him like without any of that knowledge. It's kind of funny. But now with the knowledge just creepiest fuck like him talking to Claire like I've got some more open the bedroom. It's like what the fuck. That was the sauce like he had a special Africa barbecue sauce on the Cosby show that he fed people, and they got all Evers. There's so there's like I could make a cringe real of like fifteen minutes of Bill Cosby standup about him hitting on younger women and about how men have. Back to the cave days. Menges wanna take women men only want one thing. It's just like, dude, you're not helping. The crowd reaction be. To you. In yours. I think he was in both the English original and American version of two weddings funeral. Is that what's called for three four? What is it called Four, Weddings? Or what is if I was only. In that. He's not, you know. Who the hell's that guy then thinking Hugh Grant, no? So. Wasn't either due took acid on accident? No. You guys are Reverend things I feel like I've missed like entirely. I missed. I don't know. Apparently, I missed a tube is I'm not sure I'm thinking of now. The same way. God help me the Tri lambs beat the alpha betas at the Greek games. Something Star Wars. No. I also want to say none of them were appropriately candy obsessed because on the bonus feature they're all like, yeah. The first couple of days, we had candy everywhere because we needed to learn to three D model, but after a day or two we just got tired of the sugar bus gets tired of sugar buzz. Do have these shows on a sugar. It's he's got a hold back of Brown sugar right there. This is a wrong. Do it. If you learn. Nice. And I'm not I'm not crazy. I just misremembered that movie it's death that if you that four what he's a funeral onto it.

Reckitt Ralph Disney Felix Felix Sarah Silverman Ralph it Pixar Turbo Jack mcbrayer Cuba Reckitt Ralph Felix junior John C Reilly Aladdin Reckitt Russia Woody Arnie Disney coleco Stewart
A Pup Is Born

DirtCast

52:53 min | 2 years ago

A Pup Is Born

"Welcome back to an all new episode of Dirk cast. I and your co host, Madeleine, Davy. I'm your other co hosts, Meghan Reynolds today. We were talking about the very good boys and girls of cinema. Celebrity animal, the best kind of celebrity is an animal. You asked me, this is an idea that I had in the dead of the night. And I'm really glad that we're going to eat doing who doesn't let the dog. Well, one person he loves the dog is our guest who is Brian Hargrove? He is a producer playwright and writer who actually wrote the biography for moose. Many of you may actually know as Eddie from the NBC sitcom Frazier, a good dog, a very good, very good dog. So we're excited to talk to him a little bit later. But before that, Meghan, are you ready for Halloween? I am not because I don't have a costume. I realized I have for some reason I have to Halloween parties to attend this coming weekend dealer. I again, I have to their two days out of the year in which I am often like I have more than one thing to go to, and it's Halloween and like sometimes New Year's see, again, people want you other parties. I. So I don't know what I'm going to be one of my sisters, many sisters works with us at the company. She's going on the Halloween parties with me, and we were just gonna go as twins, but that doesn't work. When I go to the second hollow like Halloween party stressed, LA genes, like an Adidas shirt and like the same shoes that she had. So she has to come with me to the second one in order for it to work. And even then that's like pretty lazy, maybe then those cool. Yeah. Like, oh, cool, like you're wearing like what you were to work yesterday and I'll be like, no. Do you have hauling costume? I am so working out my costume. I love Halloween though. I know you like I've been watching scary movies left and right? Yeah, I saw the new Halloween this. It was really fun because that's what I heard. It was like everything like you want that kind of movie to be. We're not too much all of the violence is like pretty comic book. Yeah, and it was like, I'm not gonna sit like it was feminist. Oh, but like it wasn't not. What is an in like the long horror tradition of dislike completely exploiting women. That's great. That's really helpful. Does not say women don't die, right, but it's like they don't have to like show there who these. And like with their tits out and like the girl plays like, Lori, Strodes granddaughter, Laurie strode, Jamie Lee Curtis, her granddaughter is like in costume for the home because it is on Halloween. She's dressed like in male drag. Oh, cool. Like, oh, she can run. Get away from the man in the mask is trying to murder. Is that the plot? Okay, great. That that's nice. Dirk has listeners if you have any suggestions for what I could be for Halloween to pull together in today's Email me Email mega. Please make dot Reynolds Jesuit dot com. Arianna Grandes off the table. I thought about it and I'm not gonna do it. No, it would be a lie. Anyway, shall we discuss the dirtiest oh my God, I would fucking love to. Let's do it. Love springs, eternal as a hallways. I love Orlando, bloom. Katy Perry back on this a celebrity couple, I can kind of get behind. I love this because I feel like it's very weird. I. Even though I know Russell brand was like a poop face heat for some reason that pairing makes more sense to me than that. Seems like someone she would date, but Orlando bloom does not. And I don't know why this is rude. Yeah, but I mean allies. Okay. I feel like they're both equally stupid. Yeah, totally. And so in that way, I think that they like their matched. Yeah, it's kind of it's kind of sweet like all these dummy, a beautiful love match in stupidity and like we cannot forget those pictures of Orlando, bloom, new paddle boarding with Katy Perry and Italy early were Hicks. Jers are so good. I love how like in one of the magazines that I saw, they like blurred Weiner, forgot to blur the shadow. Like the phone. It was fun. I hope in their relationship again, he feels free to follow board. Yeah, your life in, you know, like a beef are wherever you may have been, what the good Lord gave you. That's right. I sure I'm always down to see celebrity deck like we don't see it nearly enough speaking. Except for the celebrity. Take celebrity dick that we see we hear too much ever see the celebrity. I'm gauging my eyes out. Yeah, Sarah Silverman says that Louis c. k. jerked off in front of her consensually. Yeah. When they were kids when they were really comedy, comedy kids and how he would like to ask her and she's like, yes, I would say, and it was like funny. And other times I would say no, I would go get pizza. Truly cannot imagine any scenario in which I would say too late. I mean, unless she was like trying to fuck him, which I don't think I mean, who who knows I don't. Yeah. I don't know the point of her sharing this anecdote with the general public. Like why? Why? Like asked about it, which I think on the show before. I think it's really irritating how women oftentimes have to like answer for the men in their lives. Totally. And also like, how do you approach that when someone is your. Friend and you want to have empathy for them Ray also being like what they did was wrong. Right. And she liked clearly is trying to do that. Yeah, like for she's like, yeah, like the difference is like we were of the same power level. There wasn't a power imbalance. She's like, it was like, if that's what you're into, guess. Yeah. Well, one of the women who Rebecca Correy Yari who came forward against him in the New York Times tweeted about it. And she said to be real clear CK had nothing to offer me as I too was his equal on the set the day. He decided to sexually harass me. Yeah, he took away a day I worked years for and still has no remorse. He's a predator who victimized women for decades and lied about it yet. Great points Yahud points there. But I mean not is one thing that like Sarah Silverman was saying like, we were like on the same level. So it wasn't. Yeah. But Sarah Silverman to her credit apologize to Corey right away. I mean, good. I just I can't imagine wanting to see Louis CK jerk off. I mean, I feel like a really good rule of thumb. Yes. Dick rule deck our day is don't ask anyone to jerk off in front of them at work. Oh my God, one hundred percent. If you're in the workplace and you feel like you need to jerk off in front of somebody literally don't stop. Right. So they'll do it. How about like, yeah, no one saying like, hey, you can't have a consensual jerk off. You totally can. Who am I to how you don't bother your co workers? How about she's working over there? Yeah, doing something or like your colleagues, even just, you know, maybe dislike. Only do that to people who you like are already sort of like having sex with totally don't use that necessarily as a precursor to the sex that you wish to have because I can think of nothing less sexy than watching fucking Louis, CK's ineffectual. I mean, if it's a factual. His unwelcome member. But so Sarah Silverman again to her credit really quickly, and yet, Rebecca, I'm sorry, this is why I don't like weighing in a can't seem to do press for my show without being asked about it, but you're right, you are equals and he fucked with you in. It's not. Okay. I'm sorry, friend, you are so talented and so kind a, I dislike feel like there's kind of no way she could have answered that question. Right. But she like answered it very wrong. If I were Sarah Silverman. I think that question would have been a question that I would have intimidated. They offer. Sure. Once though have something ready something ready other than this, I think like, why wouldn't you just say like I shouldn't have to answer for the actions of somebody. It's super easy to say, you don't need to offer up. You're like, weird example of like attack is. Okay. Why? It was just whatever I mean and grip really Rebecca Correy for just being like, no, that is not hard. Yeah. Also like Kosovan was very much a key reached out to all these women and, and it's just like, actually, he liked kind of ruin some of their career. Yeah, and he's doing fine is like. For as much money as he's lost. It's like there's more coming. He's cobbling together his comeback chores. That's cool. This is problematic, female comedian, Amy Schumer is she's gonna buy baby. So the way she announced it was as follows. Let me see if I can remember the deeds. She directed everybody to the Instagram's story of journalist and told them to like, look there for news or whatever an in the story there is a screen shot, and it was a notes app that lists that because the midterms are coming up. Everybody vote vote for good people at cetera. She listed all of the people you should vote for in the midterm elections. And then at the bottom of the list, it says, I'm pregnant, Amy Schumer. I think it's funny. Okay. I mean, she's always been political, has she? Okay? I've just tried to ignore her because I don't really care for. I mean, she's been going really hard about gun control. Yeah, that's true along next up, what we have. Okay. Now speaking of perfect gifts. This is a no brainer. Alright. Now this is a gun just your regular run of the mill meat and potatoes handgun. Now, how cute is that? We. We. Wow. Like toy, but it's extremely real like she, she got arrested at the Senate during the day. Okay. All right. I'll give her a little more credit. I mean, a grade, a clever twist on the pregnancy announcement. Also, it's like a way of being like, hey, this is like what people should be focusing on and also here's what you're going to focus on anyway. Right? And like so we're gonna like bury the lead. I don't know. I did not hate it. I thought it was kind of funny. I'm pretty sure my reaction was like a large sigh, and then I asked him when to write a blog about it. So that's my reaction pretty much any news at this juncture. I mean, fair enough. So good for her and the her husband, Chris Fisher, the cook cookman, the chef men at beetle bug farm on the vineyard. I have a complicated relationship with Amy Schumer that again, I think she can be really problematic. Yeah, but I also think that she like. Does have talent. Yeah, and also like she I don't ever want to discourage people from volving. No, that's true everyone. Now that's a good point. And if she's if this is the beginning or the continuation of her Aleutian then onward. Yeah. But then you think back about that interview with Lena Dunham about Beckham junior, the met ball. It's just it's a, it's an up and then down. I mean, it's look, carry on, carry out all being of no one will let you go. Wow. Take take some time to think about that one. Pay. I'm Melissa Kirsch editor in chief of life hacker, and I'm Alice Bradley life, hackers deputy editor, and we're the hosts of life, hackers podcasts the upgrade on the upgrade. We help you improve your life one week at a time. We talked to guests like former hacker. Hector Monseigneur about online security me to be aware of how you could be attacked. It needs to be aware of what your weakness and Alan Alda on how to communicate more effectively in order to achieve that. We start with teaching exercise to rive improvisation and sex therapists, Steven Snyder about how to have great sex in a long term relationship. What really works under those circumstances is if you enjoy the other person's selfishly k. your life, it's terrible. We can help. Find the upgrade wherever you got your podcasts. Our member back to our star is born episode. I was mocked by Moore and our guest, Lindsey, Weber a hate that about thinking that the pop song, why did you do that wasn't supposed to be bad? The one that starts about the ass in the jeans. Sued in this gene. With. You make thoughts of saying this is now. Not like me. The both literally laughed in my face. We did and said, oh, you thought that was just supposed to be good? Yeah, guess what? Guess, twist. It was also into. Diane Warren, who is these songwriter responsible for many jams including shares, I could turn back time and a song that I enjoy because you love me by sling Dion. She didn't interview at the times and she said that she quote would never purposely sit down to write a bad song. And she said that she was told to show via the song that Allie was becoming a like a pop musician, and she her quote and she and Gaga wrote it together. Yeah, it was a co co writing situation and she said, I love that character defended. Her music doesn't have to be what he thinks music should be. Music can be. Everything can be serious song. It'd be a pop song commute song about an ass. She's a great point. Not everything has to be serious all the time. She had not everything that's also true. I mean, I do like that song except for the beginning because it is quite quite catchy, stuck in my head like a lot. And then I do that is a bop. It is. Unfortunately, I sing it to. The cats sing it to like the dishes anyway. Just wanted to gloat. Cool. Thanks teen couple alert. Young twenties, young twenty two for coming under thirty teenager child really lily rose, Depp and Timothy Saleh may are probably doing it well. So they've been like hanging out for a minute, right? We've talked about this before, I believe, yes, yeah. But they have been spotted at blue ribbon fried chicken, which is a place that I've never been to, but considered many a time on the Lower East size. Great. Is it? I feel like I've always walked by hungry and then I'm never never. You know who I saw there when I went there Ingley a really. Oh, wow. So they were there. They were eating chicken and they're making out a gross who to make out over. I agree. I mean greasy. We'll just like there's a lot of like, yes is there's a lot of lot of condiments of vary. Liquids. Some of the, I mean, the chicken. I would not try to like eat a fucking drumstick and then make out somebody in the same breath does to MO Tae? Yeah. Have like some young, Johnny Depp vibes. Oh, like they're both beautiful, beautiful young men. I, you know, looking this photo of Timo his neck is really long way that distresses me think is heritz longer in any case. Maybe just like kind of like delicate featured, right? Sort of bad. But I mean, does he have like a bad boy reputation early? I think that's like an indie reputation. AD reputation. He's already like someone who takes interesting roles. He doesn't saying that he's going to evolve into Johnny Depp into eilly row for him at bright day to KENDALL kinda see that there's like maybe some similarities there, but whatever they're both hot there, joy each other's young bodies. Protection. All to all the young people out there enjoyed touching the body of someone else. Consensually also young at heart off in front of your coworkers, jerk off in front of your co workers. But if you happen to be with your co worker and that person wants to like tongue, kiss you over some chicken, then do it. To get into history of some puppies l. my God, we limited it to docks. Rachel. Our producer had a question, which is if you guys are both cat people what the deal is the point. Great question. I like cats because I have cats, but I only like Mike cats, really I like dogs, but they are thirsty in a way that I categorically reject, but I who she, it them statically I want to go on record and say that I'm just generally an animal person. True height is really like animals in general, birds birds just because they're to prehistoric. They're darting motions or unsavory. And I think maybe they're like frantic behavior reminds me of my own entering Zaidi, but I just like really like animals. I grew up with dogs. I did to actually grow with German shepherds, which is why the first dog on our land speaks to me because it's Renton, Tim. Oh my God, what a handsome devil. This is actually so fascinating. I did not know about this k- he was rescued from World War, One battlefield. Why a soldier lead Dunkin Lee, Duncan nicknamed him Rintje. Trained written ten and obtained silent film work for the dog. I love him. He was greatly responsible for increasing the popularity of German shepherds as family pets, which is always the worst part of any dog movie. Right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like when people like got Dell mations after one hundred one nations, hell mations are actually like really not into kids. Aren't they like kind of like fussy. Yeah, they're kind of they're kind of like catlike behavior. They're like, oh, I love that. They just like want things on their terms. They also leak uric acid. Interesting fact, I feel like this is the second time that you've told me this. I don't know what the first time we passed on the street, I think. And that was like an aside weird knowledge of dog you'd Luneau you know, so much about dogs. It's like very nerdy and I don't know really how I mean, I love. I love that you do because I love to like walk down the street at the dog. And then you tell me a lot about them, x, y, and z. And then like. X one about the dog which is nice. It's because I, in college, took a, it's like the easy. Like basically the rocks for jocks class at university Wisconsin was the science of domesticated animal. That's an incredible. Yeah, happily taken just me and like the football team, and we just talked about. Your types of animals you the Madison. The u. w. badger batch of freight bullshit because they all got mopeds because it was at the farthest outbuilding. Yeah, they got to practice. I know I had to take the bus because I was an English major. Right? Not good at Johns and shine. Yes. His immense profitability contributed to the success of Warner Brothers studios. Dunkin his trainer rate walked up and down a poverty row talking to anyone in the position to put him in a movie. It was a different time. That sounds depressing. Yeah. I mean, I is different. I'm reading some things here about written death, which seems to have been like a national like a national drudgery national tragedy period of mourning for the entire nation happened in nineteen thirty. Two traders. Russian rages on the depression rages on Renton died. Everyone was very upset about it. This is about is like the type of shit where I could see. Like I would be like a grapes of wrath like dust bowl. And like the only thing that's keeping me going this cute dog. Dies just be like, fuck it. Something I would do now, the press made some light stories up about how Rin tin tin died. They said that he may be died on the set of the film pride of the legion or that he died at home on the front lawn, the arms of the actress Jean Harlow live into on the. I mean, that's like I cannot imagine rule the day when my sweet in daisy shuffles off this mortal coil. But I do not think I would want to like hold my dying pet in my arms. Sounds bad. Renton, sort of like open the door for dogs. He was very famous dog even that we don't really think about him anymore. If you wanna see his grave, it's in Paris. Oh, it's in the famous pet cemetery in Paris. Oh, everyone got the pet cemetery with s not the one where they come back on bees or whatever. I don't also don't know the plot of that. 'cause I hate scary things, but he he does come back through his own bloodline. All right, right. There's many others. It's crazy. There's still Renton tins out there. It's fucked up in Susan Orleans book written ten, the life and legend. He was cited in divorce case. Does that mean like tempted he? Yeah. Handsome boy, the cuckold are right. He had forty million fans and drink milk. Chromosome pane glass. That's disgusting. I have some questions about the logistics of that. I feel like like a German shepherd would just be like Brown eyes into smash the glory like she like a flute or like a coup plan. I mean, oh yeah. Like one of the like were both making into a net. We're both roofing like the gross like boob and gesture to indicate that would make more sense, right? Because you're not going to serve him milk in a flute 'cause his his snout would interfere, but I will say that German shepherds, the way they drink water is fucking discusses just, yeah, they hold it in their mouths, and then they just walk over to you and then open their mouth and just drop it in your lap. What? So annoying. Why there little butt heads ale. L.. Who got you? That's gross. I don't. Okay. Well, my God Renton was much Anne Frank's diary. Let's really that's touching and sad. He's a that is touching sad, actually. Okay. Here's a dog that I think I really liked his child Terry who was a cairn terrier who played TOTO in the Judy Garland version, very, very, very precious animal. Total. From. Too dumb. Xinle well trained, very handsome end beautiful. She apparently did her own stunts which I love for her. So she jumped out of that MRs Gulch's bath, one of the guards stepped on her foot and broke it that actually like reading that last night. Fuck me. It's awful. And she recuperated at Judy Garland's home. Yeah, they thought she was gonna die. Yeah, but she didn't. She survived. Judy, Garland went to adopt her, which I completely understand. Trainer, a man named Carl Spitz refused. I could see him being like, yeah, it's my dog. Like, fuck you. I'm making money off this thing and also does like go away on Quayle. This is a lovely. Also. Her salary was hundred twenty five dollars a week. In the olden days, that was a lot of money in normal times. That's about twenty two hundred dollars week in twenty seventeen dollars that is more money than many of the human actors in the movie that does not surprise me and more than worse. Most Americans working at that time. That doesn't surprise me either. It wouldn't surprise me if you're the munchkins were all like slaves of the studio. I would just believe that. Yeah, I, I mean, sure, fair. There's a permanent memorial to her, the Hollywood forever. Cemetery in Los Angeles seems like a great place to visit and pay respects if you desire. Here's another fun fact. She's apparently afraid of the wind machines used on the set of the wizard of Oz to that. I say me too. Yeah. Also she's like ten pounds. Yeah, she whipped away my bag weighs more than her also. Like officially changed her name to TOTO? Yeah, her name is interesting. Originally, Terry now she has rebranded its TOTO like was rebranded as TOTO for like her whole life. Hollywood studios do it again. Fuck up another starlet. Cool. Thanks breaker. Dang, oh my Lord. She went onto. She kept. She made more movies yet. She bread and her child was in movies, her tiles. Rami. I think she's also the only female dog lists. They really favor male dog. I don't understand because here's the thing with the male dog there dick is always around and that's why I don't like boy dogs. I mean, usually they're like in a pouch. I know. And then they go, they emerged, Japan. Ding happens with cats to all. No, I really don't like I don't. I don't really care for an animal penis. That's fine. Thank you about. So it would be really weird if you were like. Yeah, that'd be really that'd be deeply fucked up last. He was a fund, you know? I like lassie's look, but I feel like what stresses me out about all at collies is that they have something bigger a little a little needle, nose. And I don't. I like my, I like my animals to look a little more like squish. I want them to look a little bit more like pork bun. Okay. In the face? Yeah. So Lassie was a rough collie. The very first last movie Lassie come home was released in nineteen forty three and GM movie based on a nineteen forty novel by Eric night in which poor mining families forced other dog who finds her way back to them from Scotland, England. So Lassie was played by a male dog named pal. Duck name. He actually replaced a female dog. Women work FU perils cast as a stunt dog, but basically the original dog we're. Refused to do a really dangerous stunt when smart was understandable because they were trying to her like swim across an actually flooded river. Yeah, she looked at that and was like, she was like, fuck that. I don't know. I gotta go. Yeah, she's like, I value my life shit to-do walked away, but then pal, you know, just waiting to catch. The click drags, the drags pal sought, you know, he's an opportunist. Yeah, a moment. He's like that chorus girl that just like weights in the back as AB maybe gives gives the star little shove down the stairs. On the way to the mirror and then. Pal like oboe can do this gut this man than he did it and then, oh, no, and then heating. They're like, yeah, let's just use the brave, dumb what this guy's got it. He'll be fine. But they also apparently like using male dogs because they tend to be bigger accents. And so like they like child actors, don't outgrow them as quickly. And also like their coats tend to be like lush, oh rude. He was one of fifteen hundred dollars auditioned for the role. A lot of dogs. He was projected originally because he was male has is review. And a white plays ran down his forehead. That is. Make some kind of like fun. I don't know. I mean, do I feel bad for Powell? No, I think Pao PolyGram. You did good. He had a good life. He last a show that I like never really think about that often, but I can picture Lassie the dog in my head. Alaska historian as Colin said that lasts. You took the traditional role of the dog on film from comic relief to focal point of the story. Lassie was responsible also from dogs being moved out of the yard and into the house. Oh, Lassie really made some made some steps for dogs. In general. The Lassie also created the expectation that you get a dog without having to train them. That part of last legacy is I think we're still feeling the effects of that. Now in two thousand eighteen pal had like a Gillian pups who had a Jillian pups and like basically like they every Lassie is Ben and part of that lineage. That's fucked up. It's a lot. It's a lot of stuff like, who do they think they are? You know, the Curtis family, maybe they think they're the ferry Moore's. The voice you're just going to. We could do this all day. Jumping ahead to our childhood. Yes, please. We have Chris and the other Saint bernards who played Beethoven Beethoven franchise. I love a Saint Bernard, St. Bernard Bernese mountain dog or like my ideal dogs, both very large. They both drool allot you. They're large enough where you could possibly put your small child on them and give them a little slap on the rump and see if they like take him for a walk around like the living room. Love the name. Chris, for noise with a k. for a dog is like I like I like an animal with the human name because I feel like that's better than calling like mittens according to people life after the movie was what you'd expect for super-size dog. Chris who starred in the first Beethoven movies says, traina Theresa Miller. Chris was a two hundred pounds. Saint Bernard being lazy and Julian hanging around the house. The dogs retirement. He stayed at home with millers, late father along time. Animal trainer that I- Jennifer with Chris, I'm also a two hundred pound Saint Bernard lacy drily hanging around the house. So there were actually in like the following movies, there were three Saint bernards playing Beethoven so many Dr. They were better at certain things, Tom. So one named Benz did most of the tricks and physical activity way to go Benz, congrats Dolly female. She snuck in, oh, hey, girl did well with puppies and children to pickle. So they just call the punishment. Puppies were used in certain scenes beta into how and boomer was third. Said his particular skills which included drooling and doing unusual scenes, like being covered in mud. I am bloomer. Oh, this is a fun fact. Eleanor Keaton whose BUSTER Keaton's widow raised in trained several of the dogs involved in this very enthralling Finch is I love that actually knew did Buster Keaton do anything bad? I feel like no, not to my the fun one that we don't know anything about yet. Yeah. I mean there's still time if you know something that Buster Keaton did tell us let us know toast immediately. This is who we're going to be talking about a lot more later moose. The dog. Eddie on Frazier from nine hundred ninety. Two thousand six really cute. Eddie Eddie as you know, him just would not get off that chair. He was on the cover, what was he on the cover of time or as the best? Dog dog in the world. Let's talk about Bradley. I for a brief moment. Yeah, a pup is born on the set of star. So the dog as those of you who may have seen stars born once or twice? No judgment. There is a dog named Charlie, who is the cutest fucking dog. I laboratory labrador. It's the cutest thing. I've seen a longtime. It is my ideal dog because of its hair texture, general nature, affability, etc. And it is Bradley Cooper's dog? Yeah. Bradley Cooper, dislike nepotism. Oh, my fucking God. I'm just gonna. Turn show Madeline, this photo of this fucking thing. Yeah. He looks like deal a mop with a face. He's so cute. His scenes near the end of the film made me very upset. We're not talking about not talking about it. I will certainly cry. But Bradley Cooper gotten a word from pita. I mean, pitas crazy. So I just wanna it's, here's, here's the, here's the news on that pita. Announced that created an inaugural prize called the compassionate film award. They gave it to Bradley Cooper for casting his dog in his film, pita senior vice president, Lisa Lang, said Bradley, Cooper's happy, adorable, much love dogs steals the spotlight and viewers hearts in this film because it's clear that he loves being with his real life. Dad pita has witnessed so much abused, neglected dogs, both on and off set that we're hoping kind decisions at the precedent for all of Hollywood to follow while it is very nice review, do not think all of Hollywood is going to like mine. They're like actual pets for movies, but I do think the Bradley Cooper made the right decision with. He actually, I made that joke about nepotism. Said, there was no nepotism. I wanted this relationship with the dog. The couple in the movie have a child together, but they have a dog together and I wanted to be part of their story. I love dogs. That meant a lot for him to be in the film. Don't think he cared. I mean, he doesn't, oh, he's being funny now. Yeah. Okay. He has an agent. I don't talk to him or he doesn't return my calls. He always walks away from me unless all right, dad, pull it together pops. That's great. On the ringer Lindsay's, all adds wrote a teddy bear of a pup who's unforgettable. Performance combines the selfless daring of Lassie with the end of Eddie from Frazier SAS him and the emotional gravitas of the wise gold old golden retriever in homeward bound homeward bound. Not only is a star born. A boys also good for me. I mean, he was a good boy. He was the light of the second half of that film, and I love him. And if I saw this dog on the street, I would have really hard time stopping myself from like running up to him. Mm-hmm. And screaming, but I won't do that because I'm never in LA. So now we're going to move on from sort of this history, this lineage of famous dogs and actually talk to Brian Hargrove, who is a producer of television of theater. He's a writer. He is written musicals. He also is actually the husband of David. Hi Pierce who is Niles on Frazier, and he wrote the biography of moose better known as Eddie which is called my life as a dog. And it's about two released on e book. So we're really excited to talk to him. So let's just like jump in. I would like to know so how is writing an animal biography different than writing a person's biography question. Because of course I had pretty much make it up out of whole cloth. That the FOX ended about Busse are true. I mean, he he was born in Florida, all the birth and all about. That's all true. And I, you know, he's I sometimes like a computer myself. I don't know if you've got just read the book, but it's a book is told to me by booze. He basically tells everyone that he dictated, let's be honest. He take it Donald. He says that he was on, he'd always attended to be an actor. What I did was I was I'd always wanted to be an actress. So I put myself at moose on. Pas opponents? Exactly. He would call it substitution, but actresses substitution and I pretty much charted by career if I had had BRUCE'S career because I could. You really are. And so there's a, there's a dog in there that went to Juilliard moose did not. He was more of a seat of the pants acting, but he so I sort of put like what it was like to go the a struggling actor in even New York or LA and and hitting the becoming show. So that's how that's how it came about writing the boost. Chose me because I had such a by a background, but she would have wanted to have is he had the privileges. And did you get into this like into the Meuse story through David, or was that not the right order of it? Will it could have been together since nineteen eighty three. So. I, I could've confiscated, but as I knew until Decak you who was, I think, mentioned the boat. She was Mussa's hamper and or slave. Like say, but. And she asked me, she was saying, listen, I've been approached about doing a book about loose. I'm looking for writer which wasn't actually asked me. She said, think of somebody who might wanna do this, can you can you think of the Frazier riders that might be more than the others because of Attila by close friends. And I said, well, I do it and I thought, well, I who else better than me. I love dogs. Well, of course there are better people that the speed kingwood Horo. But anyway, but I thought I'd sort of the perfect person through this, and I really well had grown up with Frazier and and new all of the parties involved. So that's sort of had insight access. It was like inside the actress studio or the dog kennel studio, whichever I knew all the stories about loose and I could talk to people directly. So that's how I ended up writing a book. That's perfect. And I never read the. Before, but it seemed to be we had this agent. Apparently so long agent anymore at, I'm not sure I, we, I'm not sure what happened there. So we'll never make a book this again. This right. Anyway. So she was like, oh. Need to do something altogether. I've pitched it. We sold it and then of million. About me, but too late now, I do know please on I had that same time was creating a show with former writing partner on a show called Titus with writing partner Christopher Titus. And we had gotten a pickup from FOX, and I thought all my gosh, this is all coming at once and I'm never gonna sleep again. Our show goo from being actually show we got a midseason pickup. So I had that all the fall to write the book and an so moose night weren't, you know, twenty four, seven for about two months. There we got it done dot com. This impressed with both of your workout Dix. It's so funny because so much of the book comes from, but you know how especially talks like moose, they, they basically do think the world sort of revolves around them for sir, and particular John Russell terriers and. New boost thinks that the entire show. Although he says in the book that they built built, show Frazier around him, and they just like Kelsey to think that they had built it around him because it just makes him feel better in loose. You know, he's got such his empathetic with other. Creatures that he was okay with that. He would as long as he got all the money, he was fine with Frazier with jealousy. Thinking about the show is about him. The casting of of moose was have to. He didn't have to additional true David Lee and Peter. Casey, who were the creators of Frazier along with on David Angell who unfortunately was in one of the planes nine eleven, but the three of them went out to this. To to meet up Matilda and the people that do dos provide dogs and animals for on television movies and they will. They look at all the dossier. So what about that one and David? What about that Peter said? Yeah, that's okay. So that was it. He just had that it factor in the show. It was brilliant, and it was one of those shows that. I'm sure you've had this experiences at probably with your show now is having where everything just comes together and it's like it just all works and it's one of those kind of if you will. This is one of those. They didn't really know that that moose had this habit of just staring at people or things that he wanted. And boy, it was that lucky. Stare at the humane man. But right now I could kick a kitten through an electric fan. Yeah. Because again, like you said, his like gays was. So I contacted its own way. Exactly. And the thing was on needless to say and everything like that. Once they discovered it, they wrote to it. The failed say that's needless to say, was everyone across the country would go out and buy these Jack Russell terriers and expect them to sit there and look at them as a breakfast and Jack Russell's are not like that? No, they're like or easy full of energy, and they will drive you nuts unless you exercise them and give them as much time really more time than there is in the day. Who are your house? No. Don't tell scape often tried escape us a whole chapter in the book to always trying to get away as his lower teeth as he as he got older, his lower teeth had been whittled down so much from chewing his way out of places that he could no longer hold a ball. No, he just that all of the many of the tricks, especially in the last on five, six years of Frazier were done by EDSA his son, right? Because he's like a long lineage, right? Like him little mixed breed. Gut my Phoebe pregnant. Screaming, no way that the father he's been user. How do you explain the lease. Thing. His training was of he pretty much did everything for treats. That was a little thing. I think it was a little pudding for some the actors because moose was a dog that you could Pat in love, but he really was only interested in getting treats right. So he wasn't the warmest of people, but that stars are like that or they can be. I think most probably had that guard that sometimes a stars get when I feel like Kelsey grammer is sort of famously that way to where maybe that's because they didn't get along. Right. I feel like Kelsey said in in his auto biography, Kelsey said that he and the dog did not like each other. And I think he also told that to people. Yeah, I funny. I. Oh, Kelsey has a of. Between twenty years. It is not great. They didn't really was kind of that they didn't. They had a. A professional respectful each other. I think that's what it came down to. That's goven. And sometimes you say, oh, come on damnit. Do we have to have the dog seen? And I think that moose just felt like it was sheer jealousy. That's just it was. I mean, I could see it. You know, I know he's a show stealer vision. I say, don't go on stage with those animals without children on kids. Doc are animals while they're not really. If you ask them, maybe that was why moose was trying to escape so much at the end is he's just like it's time for mice spinoff, you know, I'm going to go, I'm gonna go pitch this to FOX. I'm gonna go find someone else. We'll put my sitcom on the air. I mean, it's funny because I get pitch. And so. A hellish in movie to NBC about Mussa's of rice restored him, and it looked like they, they bought script, everything. It looked like it was going to be a green lit, and then Martha Stewart had to go to president and they turn that into a television movie and it costs you trading trite. And so the scandal was sort of. Trashy almost National Enquirer, no offensive people that likely choir, but. Kind of take on stories was what they start. They wanted then from then onto television movies about, and I tried to get most to do something that like, you know, get caught selling drugs to cash and everything, but he wouldn't do it. He's has too much Comoros to say for himself out for that kind of thing. So are very kind of suite of movie about this lost Boston found ball, becoming a major star didn't get made. No, I still have the script if anybody's interested. Yeah, exactly. I mean, our podcast is not as successful as Frazier, believe it or not, but maybe we'll get the word out there that it's time. The people are ready for a moose movie. Anyways, it can I say, onto all the things and and moose, he's tired. No, he's, he's, he's moving on his faint aim in. Well, he was living on his fortune right? Happy with the success that he had gotten in. He didn't wanna do something else unless it could be as good as Frazier and it's tough. She sort of told Mattel, wouldn't Alm. He wouldn't do television or you would only movies. He wanted that God statue you wanted that Oscar. That's right. That's right. And then after that, he wanted to tell me he had to eat out of country. Music album, but I'm sorry. Devi CD. Nobody was interested in that man. You've got one trade. All you can do is around one. This is not gonna work. So having seen what it's like to be an animal onset and getting the inside scoop on that and also being the parent two dogs yourself. Do you ever let your dog children go into entertainment. Well, I, you know, I I've seen the the stage of others and Faulders consult when I was not commercials, and I just, I just don't think I could do that too. I don't think anybody should do that to their kids. You know. The good life. Let them have good education this they decide they wanna be actors or actresses. That's fine. Sure. But you know, unless you need to pay for doggie school, I don't think I said my dog out to the business. Yeah. I mean, it seems like you gotta let them choose their own path. You know. Exactly. Exactly. It is. It is really funny thinking of, I mean, it's also depressing, I guess. But thinking of all of these people, you know, getting Jack Russell terriers because of Frazier or getting donations because of a hundred one donations or getting, you know, collies or German shepherds or whatever, like. They just have no idea how much work it's going to be where I think Jack, they don't actually dip become a problem. They. People like one of turn the dogs often did when they didn't win. They realize that late a minute. This isn't Betty, right. This is a build off. It hasn't needs and is not gonna. Just sit there patiently in me, eat. So they really it was. It was actually kind of problem. They would the Jack Russell breeders say, but tell people, but no, what you cutting in focused, particularly Jack Russells and now nations to as we can be. They're very standoffish. All this year's well, these stories have been super delightful, and I don't wanna keep you from your work much longer. So thank you just so much for even just like being willing to go back down this memory lane with us. Pleasure. And by the way moose, the boost is very expensive book, twelve this expensive like on the lot, but he concentrated costs a lot of money to have sent to you. But we're about to print the book out as an e book. So I might just put a plug in for that. Oh, perfect. Given that undoing all the work. So yeah, exactly. Thank you so much for listening to cast and thank you to Brian Hargrove. This episode was produced by Rachel. Withers was mixed by Corey. Shrapnel. Montafir eighty is our executive director of audio. Our theme music is by Stuart would wanna send us a tip or just let us know what you think hit us up at Dirk past at judge l. dot com. You can find us on Spotify NPR one and anywhere else. You get your podcasts, please rate and review on apple podcasts.

Frazier Brian Hargrove Sarah Silverman Eddie Eddie Bradley Cooper producer Amy Schumer Chris Fisher lassie Louis c. k. Dirk Renton Hollywood David Angell Katy Perry writer Rachel Orlando Meghan Reynolds
They Zeit Be Giants 5/13: Have a Good Trip, Red Lobster, Paul Manafort and Michael Flynn, Obamagate

The Daily Zeitgeist

16:53 min | 4 months ago

They Zeit Be Giants 5/13: Have a Good Trip, Red Lobster, Paul Manafort and Michael Flynn, Obamagate

"Iheartradio in tribeca studios present fierce a podcast about the incredible women who never made it into our history books, and the modern women carrying on their legacies today I'm your host Joe Piazza each week? We'll be introducing you to women like Chunky sow. She outclasses every other known pirate by every metric and our modern counterpart. Tracy Edwards I wanted to be navigator both I thought anybody can do. Do that? I swear she create my own project. Listen and subscribe to fierce on the iheartradio. APP, apple, podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts, hello, the Internet and welcome to this episode of the site. Be Giants. I'm your only trend. I'm not your only trend, but I'm a little glowing trend. I feel like we've done both of those before I. Love It, but have you. Site is on. That from Doria isn't that from a the theme song of Malcolm in the middle. Isn't that by? They might be giants. That's what is yes. Oh maybe. PROVERBS! anyways, thank you to Johnny Davis for just keeping Church. Churning them out. we're hearing. Trending airy farmer. Am I right, but. Boy Yeah. Let's just end it right right well. Thanks a lot. See You tomorrow. Wash your hands. Don't touch your face and be kind of each other. Yes. We're thrilled to be joined for this episode of the trending Zeitgeist by super producer on a Neha also. Live in my best. Want! I have. Fogo now fear of going out. Yeah, yeah, that's what I heard the new thing you. You You're the one person I've seen. Who gave themselves a haircut and it looks really good. You did a good job. I've seen the point haircuts. I'm not gonNA anything, but yours is a good one I. I remember I pressed you when I noticed, he had a haircut because it looks so good, I thought like this full went to us. Yeah. Nobody's been going on now at work in the Mirror I. Just I have one Harris like an a line Bob I know how to cut that. My Hair stylists of like fifteen years taught me how to do and so that's my go-to when I need to cut it myself love. Love to see it. And give a man a fish. He'll eat for a day. Teacher man to fish, and they will never have to come. See you again well. By your hair stylist, so break that fucking fishing pole and tell them there's a bunch of monsters and I'm saying. we were talking about a bunch of tripping shows a bunch of shows about tripping Not a bunch to you. Guys were talking about one I didn't know figured might as well share it with the gang. You're saying there's a new show where people take you through their trips. It's a documentary. It's called. Have a good trip and it's It's about. Whatever two hours our half long, but it's a bunch of famous people like Sting Carrie. Fisher Nick Kroll Paul Scheer a bunch of comedy and. Yes, Anthony Dane a comedy, and just like you know fun, actors or personalities. And they yeah, they should share the most fun. No, he's actually the least favorite of the. But yeah. They share stories like Sarah Silverman, they share stories of themselves like tripping on acid and I it's Kinda like guided with by Nick Offerman WHO's playing like a scientists character but then they also have reenactments played by different actors as well so it's it's pretty fun. It's like almost like a drunk history in a way, but for tripping with acid trips. Yeah, hosting sting. Sting just I'm like I, stings music. I don't look to him. You're like Oh. Sting is so fucking wavy. You know like aw, we're like this. Do what did you say his? What was his trip? I was the most one percent or yeah. It was like he wanted to try Peyote, so he was like so I flew down in Mexico City like it's that easy and. Just like hit up a Peyote Colt and like asked to be initiated, and then like had to take a bunch peyote and climb a mountain blindfolded, and then had deers blood poured on him like all this stuff where you're like what? See. That's just like some. When I hear that I'm like some NARC, Xinmin. Really in the game, they was doing trips before they have money. 'cause they just surviving their own psyches can trying to expand their minds as it the first time I did. If he wants to do peyote like the first time I, did Peyote I took what I thought was told was Peyote, and was not and I had a terrible terrible time. Yeah, but you know salute till it was still psychoactive. It just wasn't the type of psychoactive. You're looking for yeah it. It was like it was definitely not like when I took a photo and showed it to someone who like actually deals I like This looks like some kind of awfully treated like mushroom thing. Yeah, I had a similar experience where like a close family friend, I went to college with gave me something and he was like. It's either Peyote mescaline. You'll only find out if you try and I was like what is it and he's like? I don't honestly remember. And I was like Oh. Damn it, but I took it and Yeah. And here. I! The best advertising for Mesko I ever saw as a kid was in the Matrix. When that first scene where neo is Mr Anderson and he gives that guy that disk and he sees. The woman white rabbit tattooed. Have that feeling we don't know the difference between the real world and dream and the guy's like. Yeah, it's called masculine and I was like Whoa Dude. Some Matrix Shit. Yeah, that's drug taking, and then you find yourself talking to a homeless man for forty five minutes about nothing, and then you're like Oh. Hi! And that's that's drug. Midnight Gospel is another kind of trippy show from. The adventure time it's done. And then Dunkel tr- Duncan trussell uncle. Basically. It's basically Dunkel Trust podcast animated. CAV really psychedelic things going on. It's it's pretty cool. It definitely feels like some things that I have dreamed when I had a fever. His remember universes. My First Introduction Duncan trussell was when he was on drunk history and I didn't know who he was a comedian but I, and he had one of the most violently ill drunk histories like the way he was just like floored from how drunk he was. It was like Oh Dunk Oh blaze Dunkel trust sense. I guess we should talk about what's trending. Yeah, he. He's very cool like he's very. Any also has a really great voice to listen to. Can I tell you? and high pitched can tell you a quick Duncan trussell story, so he's to come to live shows back in the day and one time we were doing like a stylized one where it was about y two K.. And I was like. Yeah, if you WANNA play a religious figure like a pastor, or whatever and he total, and he shows up in a full pope out like a the full fully beautiful row. Chat like I'll find photos and post them, but we were all like. Okay. Sure. Flex yeah, like and we were all like okay sure if you want to be the and like yeah I I showed up. We're like that it works, but it was just really funny, because it was also a gorgeous outfit I was like Oh. You came through. Seven hundred dollar a day room. To this day I think the funniest. Thing that we don't acknowledges a joke, but is pretty silly. Just the fact that the the popat exists that somebody was just like yeah. I gotTa have the big hat. What do we? Sketch for cracked about it before we need. We need more people to troll him in Nevada and you're the. Stupidest book broke. And be like Oh! Maybe it is. Acting like impressed by it. I just want I. Don't know Pope Pope trolls pope. For the hat I don't know. I. Never Forget him slapping. That woman's hand away wouldn't let go of him. Over that. You know. God Damn. Damn. Smacking, a red lobster is trending, and it's due to an altercation a peak becky moment if you will Karen Energy. Does your old, there's a you know again. On Mother's Day there was a lot of people getting takeout and this particular red lobster there was video filmed outside. That's why it's. It's going viral of this woman. She's like. She's it starts off with her being pushed out of the restaurant by the employee's and now I. Need My money my money and they're like we're gonNA. Give your money. Just get the fuck out of the restaurant. We don't want you in here. You're. Like I get, you've been waiting your stress or whatever and this one woman's like trying to keep her out and then this other. This other woman takes a swing at her. Some ship pops up, but then you hear all these other people in the back like crowing at the employees of this red lobster like it's not hard enough to be working right now they're. They're being like I've been waiting for three hours for food first of all if you were wait, what's your dumb as doing waiting there for three hours? If it's that important, you can just say I need a refund, I'm out, but I think this, this crowd particular looks like they got off to seeing. These mostly will look like people of color working this. This red lobster and I think they were just being like. Oh, now I get to yell at people who already stressed out in working conditions that are unsafe. Now want to add to that my. Where's my fucking? Cheddar Bay biscuits bullshit are bad nonsense, so you know it's it's just another moment. another snapshot in the tension country The Karen figure is the one who throws the first like wild punch. The other person seems Yeh. Trying to get them out of the red lobster and yet it just sucks to see like the other employees trying to restrain the their co worker who was struck by this woman. Sucks because like in the street and be like you know there you go. Yeah, they're one to one. We want a little bit. It's like you can see the way. Her Co worker was trying to look her in her eyes and be like. Please don't please don't please don't like breasts. steaks are so much larger even larger than this white woman disrespecting them Anyway this, that's all for red lobster correct. Yeah, yeah, all the red lobster is pretty delicious. Cheddar Bay biscuits. They've been hacked that menu already. You can make them at home. You know what I mean really. Serve Bisquick. Cheddar. Man, some bay. Some? Base Dirty Bay Water Bay. I don't know some old BASAM. Tampa Bay Paul Manafort and Michael Flynn, or both trending probably for good reasons right because they were brought to justice, and the everything is right in the prevailed. It's kind of like a flip flop. Where on one hand Paul Manafort is out of prison right now he's been released because wide. Yea, man, because I love trump, and I have secrets that will damage him. Relief. From. Me? I will fake having covid nineteen. So He's been sent home to do his like prison sentence from his house, but the thing is like the DOJ was like we gotta look at cases and people who are vulnerable like their federal penitentiaries, like in Lompoc in L. in like in the area in southern California. Where there are cases of Covid, where they're not being so hospitable to these people, the facility Paul Manafort's and there's not even reported cases of Covid in there, so it just adds insult to injury on top of like I think there are other standards like if you had already served a majority of your sentence or less than eighteen months left to serve, you could be released. He didn't even meet those guidelines so again. It's just like some nice shoulder rubbing from the Department of Justice, and that brings us to Michael Flynn who we talked about how the DOJ dropped their case against Michael Flynn even though he had confessed twice. And the judge basically was like on on not so fast. Basically, what he's doing is allowing amicus briefs or outside groups to file like their arguments against Michael Flynn so the judge is trying to slow that process down at a minimum, but yeah, that's where that's where the Michael. Flynn cases so a judge at least that, but we'll see what happens there, so, is this a different judge? This is a conflicting judge. WHO's no? It's the judge presiding. Presiding over the case like so once they heard they're like okay. That's your deal. Then took a second, and then next point was like okay. Well I think there may be other people who may want to not want to drop this case and may want to actually see this thing out, and then finally we have something that I think a trend. That I think we're all involved with. We're all guilty of tweeting and that is Hashtag Subpoena Obama. Obama Gate? It's the biggest political scandal of all time. It puts Watergate shame and makes Watergate looks small. These are all things. Trump has said while being nonspecific what Obama did. Yeah! It's just it's stupid. There's just like about like how how dare President Obama as president. Figure out what person? What may have been doing kissy face with the Russians. To subvert our electoral process and that's how did he? What did you do? Again. Obama's has been back in the news because he you know white. America hasty here, a man of colors opinion on what trump's doing, but he was like this is a this response, basically not good. McConnell's like shut his mouth. Did you really yeah, you're keep his mouth shut. Keep his mouth. Wow because they say no like an insult set trump off. That's why he's think about. Obama y'all this shit fucking. It's just so messy and dark and not addressing. What's actually happening right now that it's just really odd. And the other thing was like. People in the white. House like trump Obama left of trump with no way to deal with plan. A pandemic like would just nothing empty cupboards, and they're like. He literally left like sixty nine pages seventy page a playbook on how to handle a pandemic. The United States and they're like just fuck and I just. Anything. Yeah Yeah! Doesn't matter, and then that's why like the crusade from the right is against the CBC. Because G and BERKS are. Getting too close to the truth, although it seems like burks was kind of going along with. Helping alter the numbers at the CDC. This. All right twelve. This is not the best time line of all the possible timelines. We could be living in right now, but it is the one we have so here we are. Glad to be. Traveling down this time line with you, guys and listeners be kind to each other wash. Your hands stay inside. Do your part to support small business support problems. And we will be back tomorrow with a whole new plug. We'll talk. I Wa? He class of twenty twenty. We know things have been kind of out of the ordinary lately. You're not going to get a graduation ceremony, so IHEART radio found some people to write commencement speeches just for you. John Legend he's Hillary Clinton because then to over twenty of your favorites from Dj College to coach Katie, Abby Wambach to halls listen to iheartradio new podcast commencement speeches drop may fifteenth iheartradio. APP and Sunday may seventeenth across all IHEART radio stations brought to you by Doritos taking the class of twenty twenty Valedictorians to another.

President Obama iheartradio Michael Flynn Trump Duncan trussell Giants Tracy Edwards Paul Manafort Johnny Davis apple Doria United States Sarah Silverman Joe Piazza Mexico City Sting Carrie DOJ Nick Kroll Paul Scheer Malcolm Nick Offerman
Dem Debate Recap Pt 2

Part of the Problem

54:17 min | 1 year ago

Dem Debate Recap Pt 2

"Hey guys today's show is brought to you by hetchy socks. You can go pick up a pair over at DOT com. These are my favorite socks that I've ever owned. They're the most comfortable kick ass fashion socks for work or play. I've I've told you a million times how much I love them. They're super comfortable. They're made with high end pima cotton. It's extremely breathable especially in the warm weather that's very important. They're treated with anti microbial. Oh Bill Properties so they keep your feet smell and right and they look great. They're cool comfortable socks that look great. They're cushioned stabilizing arch support. They have stay up technology has she offers a variety of colors and styles. They have ankles basics fashion socks everything so go to she socks dot com and use the Promo Code Problem Thirty. You'RE GONNA get thirty percent off your entire order that comes to seven dollars a sock. It's an unbelievable value. You're not gonNA find this quality at this price price anywhere else so stop buying overpriced stocks at the mall or some inferior website they sell socks that fall apart after a couple of washes go to HETCHY SOCKS DOT COM. Let them know you're with us once again. That's HETCHY SOCKS DOT COM Promo Code problem thirty for thirty percent off all right. Let's start the show. We need a rollback of state. We spy on all of our own citizens. Our prisons are flooded with non violent drug offenders. If you WANNA know who America's next ask enemy look at who were funding right now other than one of problems are open government doing way too bay. Hey what's up guys welcome to a brand new episode of part of the problem problem. I am a recording this one from home out of the studio. <hes> the episode might be just a little bit late in getting out. I didn't we normally record record on a Wednesday afternoons and I was going to do a democratic debate recap episode. That's that's what I'm doing now and it just <hes> it. It didn't seem to make sense to me to do a recap episode before the second debate just of the first debate <hes> particularly seeing as how I figured and I was correct correct that a lot of interesting stuff would end up happening at the second debate so I thought it just made more sense to put out an episode recapping both of the the democratic debates. It's <hes> so that's what we're GONNA do now. <hes> if you guys watched the debates I'm curious. Let me know on social media. What Ura what your thoughts on it weren't if you didn't I think you could still you know enjoy a little bit of a recap but let's get real as I said <hes> the other day people people love these debates even though a lot of times people people in our libertarian circles don't like to admit it but you guys do? I see the download numbers you guys like these debates. I know it and <hes> and I enjoy them too so that it was again another <hes> two part debate twenty total candidates ten each night <hes> and and it's <hes> it what they claim to be a random drawing so at this this one was on C._N._N.. But they did it the same way that <hes> that N._B._C.. <hes> did the debates dates of ten one nine ten the next ten the next night so technically this was the second democratic debate. I don't know technically it was the third and fourth but we're going to refer to it as the second democratic debate part one too <hes> so anyway <hes> it was it was very interesting. I I thought a lot there was a lot to be learned from watching those two debates about the state of the Democratic Party <hes> and and I think that it's important to understand what's going on with the Democrats right now in nobody in the mainstream media <hes> and frankly I think not too many people in the alternative media are really framing it properly so I I'd like to say before getting into the the the two debates there is and has been for a while now a civil war going on in the Democratic Party Cardi <hes> there there was a civil war in the Republican Party. Obviously Donald Trump is the president <hes> there was a civil war in the Republican Party in in two thousand fifteen two thousand sixteen and you could <hes> you could even argue that this you know was already starting with with the Ron Paul campaigns of two thousand eight two thousand twelve <hes> but in with the Donald Trump campaign I mean this was like a full on war that the party was was completely split and <hes> you know I mean you had a guy in donald trump who was running against the Republicans not just against the the Democrats but against the Republicans he was he was an up there like you know I'll support. Whoever wins you know we all have the same values or something like that? He was like Bush lied us into war. Jeb Bush is a pussy. All these guys suck. They're all a bunch of losers vote for me. On against this entire air system <hes> and of course the Republican establishment loathed Donald Trump and many of them still do <hes> and that's why they were flirting learning with changing the rules <hes> before the convention they were they were trying to do anything they could to deny him the nomination <hes> likewise on the democratic side there was a civil war with the Bernie Sanders insurgency against Hillary Clinton. Now what happened on the Republican side is that there was a dominant victory in their civil war donald trump eight. They tried their best to deny him the nomination but he just won by such a big margin region that they were unable to do it. They were unable they were the neo cons and the establishment Republicans were thoroughly rejected by the Republican publican electric now okay putting aside the fact that there's still a lot of the same people you know in trump's administration you know coverings a whole different thing than then an election but just in terms of the election. If we're using the China obviously I'm using the term civil war metaphorically but if there was was a civil war it it was over pretty quickly because they had a dominant victory on the Democrat side. It's a little bit different than that. There wasn't in a dominant victory <hes> Hillary Clinton beat <hes> Bernie Sanders but you know of course Hillary Clinton was supposed to beat Bernie Sanders Bernie Sanders wasn't even supposed to be a threat to her her and she had to do it with some pretty shady help from the D._n._c. and the mainstream media <hes> but people didn't want in in the mainstream media didn't want to Acknowledge College. How much of a civil war was what was really going on how much the party was being pulled apart? I I remember and I've talked about this before on the show but it's just this this is a really important kind of historical moment and I think it's important to remember going into <hes> taking a look at these debates. There was all all of this talk in a twenty sixteen about how divided the Republicans were there was all this hype about how <hes> there would be a divided contention attention. <hes> excuse me a divided convention and even perhaps that the nomination of Donald Trump would be contested of course you know the the R._N._C. themselves were for for a while flirting with the idea of changing the rules <hes> so there was all this talk like you know will what's the Republican convention. GonNa Look like this is twenty sixteen sixteen remember <hes> is going to be divided. There's the never trumpers and then the people who are for trump and we'll be this whole thing and none of that ended up being true however at the Democratic National Convention there was this huge division and it was the first night of the D._N._C. and it was Bernie Sanders night essentially so Bernie Sanders was there speaking there was a ton of Bernie people in the crowd. I don't know if you guys remember this but they were causing quite a problem <hes> they were every time Hillary. Clinton's name was mentioned it would draw boos from the crowd. I'd never seen anything like this in my life where at the nomination I excuse me at the convention. The nominee is being booed by the audience and this if you guys remember this is what prompted good Sarah Silverman she came out and she said you burn your bus. People are being ridiculous and then she got booed and it was like Oh my God this whole thing is falling apart art. This the Democratic National Convention is split and of course the news that the P. Long Bernie Sanders supporters had suspected this but it it became known through the wikileaks dumps that the D._n._C. had cheated that there had been all of this collusion <hes> between Hillary Clinton in the mainstream Media Hillary Clinton the Democratic National Committee <hes> to to essentially screw over Bernie Sanders to to rig the game against him <hes> and it was has realized that he never had a shot and these people were pissed off and rightfully so I mean you know this is Bernie Sanders campaign had a lot of energy a lot of passion people really felt strongly about thus and then to find out that you never had a chance and the thing was rigged against you as you know and again they always kind of knew this but to have it proven and then to see see that you know the generally the attitude from the democratic establishment was that they don't really care. It's like sorry that this is the way the system works so this this was a <hes>. This was a big deal. What happened that night? What what saved this from becoming a huge national story was that in the Middle Right after Sarah Silverman says you burn your bus people are being ridiculous and they're all going crazy? Michelle Obama comes out and gave a speech and Michelle Obama. Llama <hes> who is a figure particularly amongst Democrats is is a universally loved figure and <hes> she came out and this this kind of like appeased the Bernie people at least enough that they were like well. They're not gonNA BOO Michelle Obama. <hes> The you know for whatever the reasons but Michelle Obama came out and gave a speech and she gave the best speech of her life now I speculated that I thought Obama had written and coached her through that that speech because I've seen her Gibson speeches before and I've never seen anything like what she did that night <hes> but she came out and she gave that speech and it ended with this this you know <hes> emotional story about how she sits in the White House a House that was built by slaves and she watches her to black daughters play in the lawn and then it got huge huge reaction out of the crowd and it kind of buried the story the lead became Michelle Obama gives us amazing speech and I said at the time and Hillary Clinton should get down on her knees and thank Michelle Obama because she just saved her her candidacy from imploding right there now contrast that on the Republican side <hes> <hes> when everybody said there was going to be this huge fight. Actually the only person who got booed at the R._N._C. was Ted Cruz when when he didn't full a didn't endorse Donald trump he basically said vote for Republicans up and down the ballot but he never said he never explicitly endorsed Donald Trump in a full throated way <hes> and he <hes> he got booed so actually what happened was the Republicans were united and the Democrats were divided now. The Republicans were only united because in their civil war there was a dominant victory. That's that's when you know. There's not too much trouble. When one strongman takes takes over now what happened on the Democrat side was that Hillary Clinton obviously went on to lose so you know it's almost I like <hes> when you have the strongman dictator who gets overthrown and now there's just an open civil war <hes> and <hes> <hes> you know it you know it's like like Saddam? Hussein gets overthrown and all the sudden the Sunnis and the Shiites go to go to fucking war because this is what's been holding them back the whole time. We'll Hillary Clinton got overthrown and now it's it's like it's a free for all and what's been happening and I've talked about this a lot on the podcast. Lots of other people have have I've noticed in commented on this as well but that basically the Bernie Sanders wing has been dominant. I mean for for a a lot of reasons they have all of the energy they have kind of the bold progressive ideas <hes> and they they've been controlling the narrative of this is why you see so many <hes> candidates. It's an you know embracing Medicare for all free college tuition and all the other stuff that green new deal which comes out of A._F._C. who was a Bernie Sanders supporter. You know that whole win of the Democratic Democratic Party <HES> and a big part of the reason why they are controlling the narrative is that they have the energy they have the the twitter mob they have. They have the social justice justice warriors kind of behind that side So you know because Hillary Clinton Lost Hillary Clinton blew it in spectacular fashion. She lost to a fucking cartoon character so when when you do that you've really damaged the credibility of your side <hes> and <hes> so the Bernie Sanders Wing. was you know rightfully to a large I agree angry and they're like look you screwed us out of this nomination. You ended up getting Donald Trump <hes> elected and so you know now now. It's our turn so anyway it's been it's been kind of like the the democratic socialist the far left progressives I have been kind of controlling the conversation for a while and the <hes> the they've basically been the ones whose voices voices have been at the forefront and what was interesting to me about the <hes> the debates is in the last two two nights is that you saw the you know. I hate to call the moderates because it's it. I'll probably end up using that term in this podcast but let me just preface by by saying I I hate calling them moderates because there really is nothing moderate about the that wing of the Democrats the the kind of you know Hillary Clinton Joe Biden Kamala Milo Harris wearing I mean they're they're neo liberal. Corporatists warhawks but what's seen politically in today's you know political spectrum has the moderates <hes> they they fought back to some degrade <hes> you know before that when you see all these candidates embracing Medicare for all and free college tuition and the green new deal and even you see Joe Biden flipping around on the Hyde Amendment and stuff like that it's like oh you it looked like they were all just going to kind kind of bow to the Bernie Sanders <hes> policies but they a lot of moderates fought back in this in the last two nights and I think the reason is is fairly obvious. I mean number one. It's the fact that there's twenty of them and eventually they realized that they have to separate themselves. <hes> you know like you're not GonNa win. Trying to out left Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders the you're you're not gonna be able to do that with any any degree of credibility and I think certainly like a lot of these guys who are like governors and you know kind of have been moderate moderate for a long time <hes> and certainly Joe Biden. I mean he's gotTa realize I mean he definitely had people around him. Were like look. You'RE NOT GONNA win by trying to run like like a leftist with Bernie Sanders as the the guy in second place right now. You've got to embrace the middle ground and you've got to fight for it because Joe Biden got beat up badly in the first I <hes> the first debates. Let's take a quick second and thank our sponsor for today's show which has been Sarah watches. I love this company. 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It's a great product at a great price all right so oh so <hes> and then the other thing that's that's a factor which is also a pretty big deal and this is something we've talked about a lot is that they're they're staking out positions that almost well certainly can't win in a general election I mean they really can't I saw <hes> one poll. I think this was a they showed a couple nights ago on. I think it was Steve. Kornacki on M._S._N._B._C. showed these these polls and I found this to be somewhat interesting <hes> and you know Steve. Kornacki is like the stats guy over at M._S._N._B._C.'s a very smart guy. I mean you know he's he's influenced by being at M._S._N._B._C. But he has some interesting data occasionally butt so he he shared this stuff which I did think was was somewhat revealing okay so these are polls amongst the Democratic voters and then amongst the nation as a whole so is medicare for all with no private insurance a a good idea or a bad idea. Sixty four percent of Democrats say it's a good idea well thirty one percent say it's a bad idea. However of all Americans Africans forty one percent say it's a good idea with fifty four percent saying it's a bad idea so you see the dynamic there? This is going to be more popular within the primary right but it is a losing issue in the general election so this this is an interesting tough position to be in. If you're trying to be Joe Biden or or you know someone in that in that position where you're not embracing Medicare for all your it's unpopular in the audience that you need to win in front of right now but it's a death sentence sentenced you embrace it. You're not going to be president <hes> a couple decriminalizing a border crossings only forty five percent of Democrats support award it so that's a losing issue even in the Democratic primary yet a whole bunch of people are still embracing it forty five support at forty. Seven percent are against it so it's a losing issue but it's a very close use in the Democratic primary however of all voters twenty-seven percent support it sixty six percent oppose it not only. Is it a losing zing issue. It's almost a guaranteed a hand the election of Donald Trump however when you're in the virtue signaling Democrat <hes> primary you know even if it's forty five five percent to forty seven percent it still you know they can really <hes> these guys like Castro can say what a horrible person you are because you don't want to decriminalize of illegal border for crossings <hes> and then <hes> the last one which I thought was was pretty interesting to me was <hes> National National Health Insurance <hes> to illegal immigrants so national health insurance available to undocumented migrants as the way they phrased raised at sixty percent support it in the Democratic primary thirty three percent support it in the general election or at all all voters so what a what a difference I mean so you're talking about issues two pretty big issues about immigration. which was let's not forget the central issue in Donald Trump's campaign <hes> the two of the issues where it's a decriminalizing border crossings or <hes> free healthcare for illegal immigrants you can you can win on that in in the Democratic primary possibly but it's twenty seven percent and thirty three percent polling amongst all voters so I mean Geez that is a real real losing issue? I mean not just a losing issue but you're you're accrue a losing losing issues by a huge margin on the issue. That was the issue that got donald trump elected so it's it's almost I mean it's as close to a policy that would be a suicidal political policy to take yet. You have to deal with people who are taking these positions one other one. <hes> that I thought was <hes> what was interesting was <hes> providing reparations for slavery forty. Six percent of Democrats think it's a good idea forty percent thing. It's a bad idea for with all voters twenty-seven percent think it's a good idea sixty two percent thing. It's a bad idea so just one more of those things and it's you know <hes>. It's that right there. I think those numbers you know sorry to get dry into polls and stuff. I don't usually do that but I think those numbers really illustrate something and I think this this is part of the reason why the moderates started trying to fight back of course again remember when I say moderate I mean blood-soaked monsters <hes> anyway so it was flipped a the optics of the debate right so in the <hes> the first debate was Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth with Warren <hes> the where the two front runners who are in that debate in the second debate the two front runners were Joe Biden and Kamala Harris and so the first debate you had had the the progressives the second debate you had the moderates who were the front runners so the first debate was kind of everybody attacking Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren it was the the two in the center were the leftists being attacked by the moderates <hes> The neoliberals all around them and then the second debate was kind of the opposite you Kamala Harris and Joe Biden in the middle being attacked to their left <hes> by people like bill de Blasio and <hes> and Castro and <hes> <hes> Cory Booker who's playing leftist now even though you know that's a bunch of bullshit but <hes> anyway and of course by our girl Tulsi Gabbard who don't we're going to get to her in a second so let me just give you my thoughts on how I thought people did <hes> I thought that <hes> and keep in mind and I said after the first debates that I thought <hes> both Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden had very bad nights very very bad nights <hes> worse worse for Joe Biden but I thought Bernie Sanders had a very bad night the first to be the the first debate as well and they were both on the same stage so you had the number the the guy running first and second in the debates both having very bad nights I mean Joe Biden got attacked. He had that moment with Kamala Harris where he just didn't seem he seemed ill prepared Sheridan unready to fight and got beat up on you know had that moment where he didn't even finish his time after he was getting beat up on he had a very bad performance and I thought Bernie Sanders just just Kinda seem stale and his energy wasn't great and he kind of just sounded like this guy is just kind of repeating the same things he says all the time <hes> <hes> so. I thought it was a bad night so going into this one I I must say <hes> as much as I may disagree with a lot of his policies thought Bernie Sanders had a very very good night. Bernie Sanders had very good he was he was energetic angry. You know pissed off Bernie Sanders which doesn't doesn't work for everybody. I thought it worked well for him. <hes> he was fighting and he I thought was was winning a lot of those battles <hes> he he definitely definitely you know he's still Bernie Sanders. He doesn't have that killer instinct but he definitely was going. He was defending himself and he was energized and seemed excited to be there and then now by the way that angry thing not everybody can pull that off. You want an example of that you ever see when Gary Johnson tried to get angry when he was running for the l. p. nomination you you were like Jesus. Please stop please go back to being boring boring Gary Johnson <hes> but he but for burning it was working and I thought that he had a much better night than Elizabeth Warren who was fine but didn't just didn't seem seem to be Bernie Sanders to me. It seemed like he took over the show and it was about Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren was almost like his side kick in that debate. The thing that was was interesting a lot of people were speculating whether they would go after each other because they are competing in a lot of ways for a similar voting demographic <hes> but they didn't they ended up being attacked hacked up for being too progressive and they they ended up kind of defending each other and battling with the moderates or the NEO liberals or the bloodsoaked monsters. Whatever you WANNA call them <hes> anyway so that that that was my takeaway up at Elizabeth Warren had a finite night wasn't anything crushing terrible that happened to her but <hes> the you know it was like it was Bernie Sanders show I saw that night? That's what that's what I thought <HES> and in terms of like all the other moderates trying to attack them. I thought it was just like none of them. Did a none of them did a a good enough job. None of them really you know were able to <hes> were able to differentiate themselves really really made a case for why they should be the one <hes> you know it's Liberals GONNA win. It's not gonNA be one you guys it. It's GonNa be Kamala Harris or Joe Biden or someone like that. It's it's just <hes> none of them to me did anything to really to really separate themselves and they tried to land blows on <hes> on on <hes> on Elizabeth Warren born and Bernie Sanders but I I you know I just from my perspective. I don't think they did a good job and it is kind of tough. You know it's like if you're arguing from from a principled a principal Lou you know anarchy capitalist perspective or or even like just a run of the mill Libertarian -Tarian perspective you can you can have some pretty strong arguments against Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren but so many of these <hes> these Democrats already radiant brace all of these big government policies and makes it very difficult for them to argue <hes> to argue against <hes> you know just making the government a little bit bigger. Hey we're going to do all the stuff why not do do a little bit more for you. At Bernie Sanders had some great some great lines and not that I particularly particularly agreed with them but just effective moments <hes> and and you know Elizabeth Warren had a couple as well <hes> and anyway anyway I just I I thought they did a they both kind of came out as as the winners of the debate but Bernie Sanders did a better Job Than Elizabeth Warren he just to me took more control <hes> but they were under they were under attack no question about it so <hes> trying to think. Is there anything else from that first night that was really worth mentioning <hes> Pete Buddha judge he. He's done a decent enough job. He's like presentable presentable. He doesn't really have anything to say but he's presentable enough that he's just kind of. He's fine and <hes> he you know I guess <hes> I don't know I guess he'll stay within striking distance <hes> trying to think who else <hes> Baidoa rourke was just a disaster disaster again. He's just not cut out for this Marianne Williamson from the first night she was the most googled after the debate and she I I don't know I you know there's something about her. That's kind of appeal. I didn't particularly agree or like anything that she said but she had a few big applause moments and she got she got herself off a little bit of a of attention she she benefits from the fact that she's just so different from all the other <hes> from all of the other candidates <hes> who is the new guy. The new Guy Bennett was that that was the new guy and he <hes> he just joined and he was up there and he I almost thought for the first half he was doing okay and then he just stumbled on several different questions and it was like okay. I think this guy is <hes>. I think this guy's done <hes> or bullock. I'm sorry not Ben at bullock. Bullock was the new guy <hes> okay so Trajan show. I think that's more or less the story from the first night <hes> the story <hes> from the second night was <hes> almost a little bit flipped right from the first night was so now you had Joe Biden and Kamala Harris in the center being being attacked from the left and man they got attacked. They both really <hes> they. They were both being defensive that there was a lot of you know they were attacking each each other. They were getting attacked from everybody else. There was a lot of action in the debate and <hes> you know I was watching M._S._N._B._C. for the the post debate coverage coverage and they all seemed kind of <hes> you know they were like why is everybody up. They're attacking Obama. This was kind of their take. It's like why Oh my God are we attacking Obama and it's is pretty funny because Obama you know is just he's really a beloved figure amongst Democratic voters and yet even though people weren't blatantly attacking Obama even M._S._N._B._C. N._B._C. could pick up on the <hes> on the underlying context there that it's like yeah. It's an and look we talk about this all the time on the show but this is just how far left the Democrats macron have moved that Obama's <hes> you know Obama's platform from two thousand eight would would basically make you a fascist fascist in the Democratic Party. Today I mean can you imagine imagine saying you know you're against gay marriage today. It'd be just it's unthinkable <hes> so anyway there there was a lot of attacking Obama's record. <hes> you know it's it's five. Oh one other thing I wanted to mention because this came up in this maybe will be going back to the first debate a little bit but the topic of <hes> global warming or what excuse me climate change came up quite a bit and it really really is something everybody you know though <hes> the the the amount of exaggeration and that's to to put it kindly exaggeration the amount of just outright fearmongering that is divorced from reality is is is really astounding and I mean you had things like Elizabeth Warren said and I quote climate change puts every living thing on this earth at risk risk that was basically climate. Change is going to kill all life on earth now if you've ever heard a fear monger hunger I mean if you've ever heard a politician. Try to stoke fear what what could top that I. It's really something if you just if you don't buy into the the whole <hes> you know just the whole package of of this like environmentalist belief system and take a step back back and go what they are actually running on the world is going to end and yet somehow. That's not what we talk about for the entire debase. It's like somehow we still open with healthcare at every debate but the world's going to end all living things are GonNa die by the way just to like. I don't even know if this needs to be combated added at all but first of all I know they'll say things like ninety seven percent of scientists on that bullshit or there's a consensus sometimes we'll say no reputable scientists doesn't believe this while there is no one out there is no serious scientists out there who is saying all life on the planet is going to end. I mean even if the ocean if the sea levels rise a few inches and the temperature you know rises a few degrees the idea that I'm not saying there'll be no problems but the idea that all all life on the planet is going to end. This is just bat shit that shit crazy. Nobody is saying this but the idea that they're actually they're running on the world is going to end. There's a meteor that that's on its way to Earth. It's about to hit in in the next twenty years and all life on the planet is going to be over oh and by the way away we'll spend fifteen percent of the debate talking about that. How insane is that was a real? Why are we opening with healthcare every debate then anyway it is it is funny to that you know after it's like the last Democratic President Barack Obama his signature legislation was this this huge health care overhaul overhaul and he <hes> you know that's what they got and they still open with healthcare both debates? This is still the issue that Democrats are running on <hes> anyway anyway back to the second debate. <hes> Kamala Harris got got attacked right away for her health care plan that she put out which I it seems like she doesn't really understand ended at all. She did not have good answers. Both debates both the first and the second. I actually thought it was pretty outrageous. Although perhaps ineffective have a strategy in the democratic debate but the this <hes> this term Republican talking points kept coming up and in fact Bernie Sanders even criticized <hes> Jake tapper for using Republican talking points when he simply asked Bernie Sanders what it was going to cost referring US healthcare plan this is now a Republican talking point to even discuss to any degree budgetary reality's that's a Republican talking point. Now I thought that was pretty amazing. <hes> and <hes> you know even Chris Matthews who I was watching watching interviewing people afterward he kind of kept bringing this up and it was it was entertaining to watch him kind of struggle with this but so he was like well look I mean and we all pay into Medicare like we have to pay into Medicare for our entire lives. When you first start working you pay into Medicare and when you're sixty sixty five you collect benefits for it if you're telling me we're GONNA collect benefits our entire life out of it? Aren't we going to have to pay much much more. You're into Medicare like he can. He was just like quit. Doesn't this doesn't seem to make any sense this medicare for all scheme and I don't think Elizabeth Warns Two cent cent plan is going to cover it so anyway <hes> but yeah the Republican talking points that was <hes> that was there's something that kept getting <hes> kept getting brought up both in the first night in the second night and Cory Booker you know at one point in in the second night said <hes> you know well. Why why are we attacking each other? This is <hes> playing right into Donald Trump's hounds and then proceeded to attack Joe Biden and you know so but even on M._S._N._B._C. see they kept saying well. Why are they why why are they all attacking each other? They should be talking about a donald trump and it's like yeah well. The reason is obvious visit. There's twenty of them. What can you do oh? I Hate Donald Trump okay. How does that separate you from the rest of the field not at all not in the slightest? Everybody hates Donald Trump gay. He's racist says Blah Blah Blah all that okay you have to start attacking each other. This is what I I knew would get interesting about this racist they're going to have to they have to start attacking each other. It's the only way that one of from can come away. <hes> Kamala Harris realized that early in the first debate I think before some of the others did <hes> that's what she got the jump on it all right guys. Let's take a quick second and thank our sponsor for today's show which is Balu. You can go grab some over at Baluchi Dot com you guys know by now. Blue offers men performance enhancement for the bedroom mm and it's the first shoe able with the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis at chewables can work faster than pills up to twice as fast and the chewables from blue-chip dot com can be taken on a full or empty stomach. 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Let's get back into the show <hes> but anyway all right. Let's let's get into Tulsi. Let's talk about her a little bit so as people who listen to the show no Tolsey as the candidate on the Democrats who I'm most interested in I think she's by for the most interesting candidate and she is <hes> she is. You know pretty damn good on the most important show which is worn piece <hes> if I had to give Tolsey Gabardine grade he no. It's a little bit we are okay so I'd probably you give her like a B. or a B. Plus for her performance but it was all because of the one moment other than that she had a poor performance I thought <hes> <hes> I didn't think she had a good debate. I think Tulsi Gabbard is is not great at these things <hes> she she's not bad at the back and forth she does a decent job hub at going back and forth. She did a good job with Ryan and obviously we're GONNA talk about. Nash did a very good job with Kamala Harris. She had a moment where she really knocked it out of the park with Kamala Harris aside from that she was really letting the opportunity slip buyer so she had an opening statement and it was just a nightmare nightmare. Oh my God it was so bad her opening statement I mean she quickly gave a little bit about her history. Which is fine you know? Let them know you like okay tours in Iraq Iraq <hes> <hes> active duty military all that stuff very good <hes> but she just kind of us. They give you like a minute uninterrupted by the way anyway it was so short periods of time that they were giving them. I noticed it particularly on the first debate but they were like fifteen seconds. What a ridiculous idea fifteen Advantage of that man especially when you have so many issues that separate you from these other <hes> these other candidates especially when you know the stuff that Tolsey knows that all the rest of them either don't know or lying through their teeth about like the fact that we've started six or seven wars in the last decade and every last one of them's a disaster oster and we're bankrupting the country doing I mean you know this stuff and they don't so Gimme something and she said I believe she said she was a Patriot three or four different different times in our opening statement and then at one point said that she loves her country can. I was like screaming at the T._v.. We know we get it. You love your country. That's what a Patriot hatred. Does Hey by the way everyone claims to be a patriot. So how does the separate you at all that you know. She said her line again the government working for the people and not the corporations. It's like this is all just wasted time wasted time the when I'm elected president. I am going to end the longest wars in American history immediately. I'm the only candidate up here who is sincerely really can pledge to you that I will end these wars. There's hundreds of thousands of dead people because of these wars trillions of dollars wasting at wasted and we have nothing to show for it that right there right there what I just freestyle that's better I mean come on this and this is. There's really no excuse for this because you you can prepare this. You know you're going to get a minute to open up so come on prepare something. How much work does it take to prepare a decent minute. I just winged that and it was better than what she had it. You tell me you give me a month to sit down and prepare knock commit out of the park. This is like this kid stuff that should be easy all right so she did a bad job with that didn't do great in her first couple of responses but then she had what I really think was probably the moment of the night and hopefully was enough to save her campaign and get her onto the next debate and that was her challenging <hes> <hes> Kamala Harris and this was important because you know look it wasn't on the war issue but it was on a very very important issue <hes> we'll break it down in a second but <hes> it what was good about this is it wasn't with Tim Ryan her her last with Tim Ryan this was with one of the the front runners kind of close to front runners <hes> and and so it was this was a really a really good moment for Tulsi Gabbard so let let's play that Gabbard Congresswoman Gabbard you took issue with Senator Senator Harris Confronting Vice President Biden at the last debate. You called it. A quote false accusation that Joe Biden is a racist. What's your response. I want to bring the conversation back to a broken criminal justice system that disproportionately negatively impacting black and brown people all across this country today. A Senator Harris says she's proud of of her record as a prosecutor in that she'll be a prosecutor president but I'm deeply concerned about this record there are too many examples to cite but she over fifteen hundred people in jail for marijuana violations and then laughed about it when she was asked if she ever smoked marijuana she walked evidence that would have free an innocent man from death row until the courts forced her to do so she kept people in prison beyond their sentences to use them as cheap labor for the state of California Nya and she fought to keep the system in place that impacts poor people in the worst kind of way bigger congresswoman Senator Harris as the elected Attorney General California. I did the work of significantly reforming the criminal justice system of state of forty million people which became a national model for the work that needs to be done and I am proud of that work and I am proud of making the decision to not just give fancy speeches or being a legislative body and give speeches on a four but actually doing the work of being in the position to use the power that I had had to reform a system that is badly needed for form that is why we created initiatives that were about reentering former fenders and getting them counseling it is fine because I I know that criminal justice broken that I am an advocate for what we need to not only allies but legalize marijuana in the United States. I WANNA bring Congressman Gabbard back in your irresponsible bottom. Line is Senator Harris when you are in a position to make a difference in an impact in these people's lives you did not and worse yet in the case of those who are on on death row innocent people you actually blocked evidence from being revealed that would have freed them until you were forced to do so there is no excuse for that and the people who suffered under your reign as prosecutor you owe them an apology alright so that was the exchange this is from what I've seen and been the most disgust exchange on on social media. Although I suppose the the social media you know people who I follow and follow me. I might be you know getting a little bit of a biased a sample there but I mean if I had to grade that exchange. I'd give it an a plus like that was perfect. It was pitch perfect everything about it was excellent even the split screen. If you go look at it it was just you had one <hes> you had Tulsi Gabbard who was like calm and collected looked great was was nailing her points such such an important point and you had Kamala Harris. They're just stammering around for some well. You're just giving speeches. I was actually doing the work and you're just giving speeches about how evil the work I was doing was. She had nothing and told his point. I mean this was just perfect pitch perfect and Anna Point that anybody should should be able to agree with. I don't even care if you're a hardcore drug warrior. You should get the point when you go. You put fifteen hundred people in jail for marijuana and then laughed about it when you were asked. If you had smoked pot I mean come on and to me that such I it's not it's important to me because I think the war on drugs all an an and it's one of the most you know evil things that we do as a society but what an amazing what a great way to just point out the outrageous hypocrisy and double standard for the ruling class that you you would ruin people's lives over marijuana and you laugh about it when you admit that you did it that you did it yourself and it's like a joke. This is funny. I mean that that to me gets right at the heart of everything everything that's wrong with this whole goddamn system that you you could do this. You could do this to people and you don't even believe you. Don't even believe this is wrong. You don't even care it's fine. It's no big deal whatever her that really to me that that was like an unbelievable moment against one of the front runners. She knocked it out of the park so that was it she. She may have saved herself with that moment there. Hopefully I know she was trending on Google after that <hes>. I don't know I haven't seen about other markers but that was a really good moment. She did okay later in the debate with a couple of the war questions. I thought she needs you know look if I was saying with the other stuff. It's like she later in the debate she he needs to do a better job of clarifying what she is saying and driving home what the dynamic is and why it's so important <hes>. I I really think she struggles at that stuff. <hes> you know when she talks about the new. Cold War. You got to explain to people what this is <hes>. You Got People. Don't know what you're talking about. New You gotta realize that <hes> and I just thought it lacked the punch that it needed. She started her opening statement was terrible. Her closing statement was all right is the thing about nuclear war missiles being faced at us it. It was okay. I still think could have been better <hes> anyway so you know whatever she she had. An okay performance is it. I probably would have given her a see if she hadn't have had that moment but that moment was an a plus so I'll give her somewhere in the be plus area as a total grade <hes> but that moment was incredible it was it was to me it was the best moment of the whole debates and I'll tell you this is what was was so powerful about that moment is that even <hes> <hes> when they were interviewing Kamala Harris after the debate she gets asked about that because it was enough of a confrontation that you can't not ask Oscar about that question so <hes> you know so they ask her about this moment that she had with Tulsi Gabbard and <hes> her her response which was was just amazing. She has nothing she she she can't respond. This is the beauty of it. You can't respond to you locked fifteen hundred people up for and you laugh about it when you're asked <hes> about your experience with smoking pot so she doesn't respond. She just pull out right away. <hes> well. Tulsi Gabbard is a puppet of Assad Tulsi Gabbard Ebbert was praising Assad. I I really I have to take this criticism from someone who praises Assad now. This is just I.. This is where you hope. TULSI Gabbard gets back in because if this is all you have your in a lot of trouble. I feel like Tulsi Gabbard would have been better you know. She needed to try to force this moment a little bit more. It's difficult though when you're given very limited time the truth is that if that's what they want once they start coming at you for praising Assad if she wants to if she can rise to the occasion she can win that battle in a decisive manner a decisive manner. I mean I'm sorry tells you. Gabbard said some nice things about Assad electorally Gabbert went and met with Assad when she was trying to lead the effort to night not fight another war to try to pull back another war which we had already started that was turning into a disaster but you don't even I mean it's is this stuff. There's a lot of different ways. You can play it but give me a fucking break that people are offended that Tulsi Gabbard met with Assad and set a couple of Nice things things about him. A Donald Trump just dropped off one hundred billion dollars in weapons to the Saudis. I mean you WanNa talk about killers. Okay maybe a met with one of them but you gotta give them a loaded gun. You gotTA refuel their fighter jets while they're starving kids to death. You know I'm sorry anybody at especially Kamala Harris these people who support you know weapon sales to Saudi Arabia and Israel. They're going to have a tough time if you're willing if you have the guts to actually challenge them on they're going to have a real tough time shaming you for <hes> for for meeting with Assad once and of course Tulsi Gabbard actually is great on Syria. She knows everything about how that war started and and most of these people either don't know know anything about it or the they'd never admit it in public so she she can win that debate over and <unk> over but just the fact that they were when they were interviewing Kamala Harris afterward. They played that clip in it to ask her about that shows that it was a big big victory victory so that was a very a very good moment for Tulsi Gabbard that that clip is going to go viral. It's already spreading around like crazy. I saw the one version of it. I just saw had a few hundred thousand hits hits on it and this is you know fucking. <hes> you know only a few hours after after the debate or it's recording this the next morning but it's you know this is this. She did very very well for herself so anyway I would say I think that <hes> Joe Biden did okay in this debate. He did okay he did better than last time not quite good enough <hes> but <hes> but not you know not not the disaster at the last debate was he did the problem. Joe Biden has is that he's old. He's really old. He looks old. He is <hes> he's. He's not not had it. Since Joe. Biden is not nearly as clever as he thinks he is. He he stumbled a several different times. He just doesn't look click the guy who's going to be president <hes> <hes> but he at least did try to fight in this debate and and fight for the more moderate position. He's like yeah you know. We can't promise all all these things. He was very effective when he was attacking Kamala Harris Medicare for all plan Kamala. Harris had a disastrous night. It was an absolute disaster for her. She was take it from all different angles and she was losing losing fights left and right so I thought she had a very bad very bad performance <hes> and <hes> and Tulsi that great exchange aside from that I don't really think too. Many of the other people are super relevant. <hes> you know I you know I just think cory booker. There's something about him that so intensely phoning I. I don't see his thing working but we'll see we'll see how it all shakes out. Be Interested to see how the polls you know the polls that are taking after this debate to see how they change. I I got to say I think I think Biden and Bernie Sanders did enough to hang hang on to their positions with warranted fine enough to hang in there thought Kamala Harris got beat up bad really really bad and hopefully tolsey gets a nice bump from that <hes> from from that exchange but we'll say we'll say all right. I'm going to wrap the episode up there. I'll I'll be back on a <hes> in studio on Friday. We'll have another episode. We'll get we'll get the fires. Take on all this stuff all right. See you then peace.

Bernie Sanders Donald Trump Joe Biden Kamala Harris Elizabeth Warren Congresswoman Gabbard president Hillary Clinton Tulsi Gabbard Medicare Barack Obama Bernie Sanders Wing. Michelle Obama Senator Harris M._S._N._B._C. Sarah Silverman Democratic Party Democratic Democratic Party
TFATK Episode 466: Bert Kreischer

The Fighter And The Kid

1:58:34 hr | 1 year ago

TFATK Episode 466: Bert Kreischer

"Well, isn't gentlemen. We got the great Bertrand Sherpur. I don't know if you noticed. But if you're in Indianapolis, this weekend, I'm at, I'm at helium comedy club, this Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and then I go to Vegas on the fifteenth, the Orleans showroom with Brennan Shaab. And then we're gonna fucking and. Yeah. And then I've said, I'm at the Tempe. Improv June twenty twenty one twenty two can you open for me too busy on the twentieth. I'm in Sydney doing starting March, have you guys been to Auckland New Zealand. I'm there June fifteenth at. Yeah. June fifteenth in Auckland New Zealand. If you're an automated, don't don't fly Vegas, for our show, Merle's. And I added shows in Sydney, Brisbane, and Perth. So if you couldn't get tickets originally, you could go there now on the twenty six dotty shot toy body shots world toward tickets on sale for the entire fault. Or we've added shows the met in Philly on the twenty seventh son. Yeah. They deal. Take. Let's move some merch in. Mt. Fag Kay army. Burbank, does Saturday. With hime rappoport, one giant show that Saturday won't show, only eight PM show. Vegas with calendar. Detainees left. Definitely know gives drugs. Those, the weeds welcome and then Calgary June twentieth through the twenty second Yuk yuks and then brea just announced, brea, June twenty seven through twenty nineth. Get your tickets now t K dot com for Brian go. See Burt by shot. Let's do a podcast, ready. I'm gonna open a whiskey. That many men can stand my punch. Right. Obviously obvious for sure. Senate set a here on them black belts, and chips chicken heads. I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd be surprised Abbott. Kenny fight club spiked club bike club. Kids got a piece on our space on a couple of one two Cutie pies. I still got it baby lift your shield. And now from the honored studios in Playa vista California is the moment you've been waiting for the final, and the key is coming at you. No, no. We're not live. It does make sense. We're not live. We don't and. Now it's the fighter and the kid. John live. So they sure. Candidate's idea, and I was like, look the ice bucket challenge such as simple thing, raised fifty million dollars. Gordon. Okay. Can I tell you the challenge I wanted to talk about the challenge? We're talking about challenges and raising awareness. I drink only really good whiskey dude. It's only in travel mug, but was it this is? So it's really is. So I wanted to do you know. Obsessed with promotion for scream. I wanted to do the ice, carrot challenge where you sit and it shop from here from here up. I go Hayes Burke, Chrysler put an ice cared up my asshole right now. And then but I don't do it, but you see the look on the person's is it? All right. Here we go. And who can make believable the most like. Oh, funny. And then he just hanging. Okay. I'm doing this awareness. I had a friend of mine said, he's, he's been in a long term relationship, and he goes, I just having saved my girls just not doing it for me anymore. So I got to think of six shit now just get it going. I go. Yeah. And he goes, I know man, like I'm gonna sit there and I'm thinking about getting fucked in the ass. I went from definitely how Wayne. Your friends Jackman. How's how's it? How's that keeping your dog heart? I was like, that's shit about getting booked in these God. I went I went. That's actually not what we'd get my, my pony, you're walking. Yeah. This is what I got whiskey wise, I've got these travel, well, you know, an airplane, regular whiskey. I'm not I will definitely I'm not going to twist your arm. Other drink has an eighteen year old at home. I did not know you're gonna say, whiskey I get an eighteen year old but we. I got. What was your other? An eighteen year old dancer, you can do both though fucking dancers. I'm never going to get married, but would love to fuck a dancer like China dancer like a dance. Oh, yeah. I want someone but ethnic in my right, guys. Yes. All right. I want someone who can read my timing. So when she does this, I don't like time in with her that we're both moving at the same time. The night to him. I need someone to read my energy to lead me, your black girl. The white girl who. It's rare though, you know it's hip hop. Very hor bro-. Hey figure it out too. I wouldn't mind to work my wife's getting easier treatment on her face. And it's working as it looked so fucking. Now, your wife beautiful. Actual. She's an attractive young man. The thing is. What would you guys? Girls do like a little bit of mustaches, dude, I dated a girl I won't say her name because he works at Disney now but she guy gonna end this story right now. I gotta end now. How do they notice up like fuck I need to I need to shave do. What's the whiskers? What's the equivalent of that for men Yuna, browser like long nose hairs, right along those, here's our problem you've been, how do you not notice for, if you have just ship breath, a really bad tease, terribly come on? I have a black tooth right here that guys just changed colors. And I gotta get spaced. Yeah. No. Those thing about going gold dad, you look sick with just a solid right now. Weird spot. Yeah. Girl at her on her nipples. Yep. He goes, of course, the girl. Oh, yeah, I used to have a girl that when we do reverse cowgirl. She had one long here out of our asshole to Hugh, like a lot. Well, let's do this one. I had a girl. I used to have a girl, the worst law girl who had the biggest dick. I know all the balls to do. I'm talking to along like strong black here. Well, we can't do you understand guys that are into. Tren Tren transgender, those X gen say, I think transgenders are now they're transsexual is the ones that like party with both there. There are people that have tents and also a dick, there's no doubt. They keep it. Yeah. Yeah. But they look really female split sometimes like a dick, dude. Sometimes, again you porn by you may, we suggest this my gamut the hot chick with the fat. That's right. But it's very attractive girls. Right. That's exactly. You. I've seen so fucked up shit on new porn, bro. I saw this thing. First of all, what's your favorite thing to watch on there, though? A backdoor casting couch. That's pretty fun act or cast. Yeah. Again, I pretend his John fabric because he sounds like Jon Favreau. And dude, I could recognize that guy in a fucking locker room. Yeah. With his hernia scar on his in. He sometimes does steroids. Sometimes doesn't you Fabra fan. I'm big fan. No. I'm talking about the casting. Yeah. A little kick. Right. The little dick, not the biggest dick. Yeah, I watch it for the look on their face. Like I actually found backdoor casting couch outtakes where the girls say, no and they're fucking awesome. Basically, it's basically a me to video, right? Especially the biggest hashtag Harvey Weinstein me to skipped over the porn industry. Quickest thought God. Well, they just assume. Everybody watches. It would do your president your president, Brian of the woke girl at the porn conference talking about me, too. And then getting shutdown. I just. I think coconut, male. I like the dates does your that's deep here of IRA girl, Mike acting glasses. Never very good. And she was really hot and my friend. She gets tissue. Do these sincere scenes, and it would always be disaster. My friend friendly's has show the hat. People around heard turn around this one, girl, just awesome. Wow. Yeah. Totally there's something really primal about that. We were in somewhere in Louisiana doing that old school, mardi gras festival, where you had to go catch chickens, and you make the Gumbo together, and you guys walked through with like horseback and you walk through the town and Eunice and UNICEF, Louisiana, and our producer was of feminist. And she was trying to get these guys to champ for travel channel. And one of the guys just like the perfect Brome, and he goes, hey, and she looks she goes Yanni show them toots out for the boys. I don't know why. But it was a talk show in New York City rolling immature. That's why show. This the boys did the vote -able back in the nettle in New York with these two two women who were like professionals, and they would talk about spiritual stuff. They're talking about it was all positive energy and the mistake they made they had a live call in. You had the one time. I loved the hardest was they're talking. And they're like, yeah. Right. And that's right. And that's very good point. And I'm sorry to interrupt you, but that's such a good point. And I think that's, that's something that we all need to keep in mind that we have to come together. Let's take a call. I used to watch and you hit the guy he's hearing guy on goes, he goes, he goes. He is. I want to. I wanna come. And she goes, well, why don't you just go to Penn? But then another guy gets on another time of the same things. She goes Hello. You're on there, and I want to suck your tests. It so well. Did you see was on good Morning America? You know, they're always live in New York, like interviewed so many heart heartfelt, some guy just comes. Bro. Easel sucker pussy the fierce Toda first the firs-, right? The bushy at me on the floor. Fuck around the pause, and I was like. Guy. So. Z. I. Ornamental and we see the bridges. Anything outrageous that takes the, the chessboard and throws it in the air. Oh, I do it to my daughter all the time. The three victims were part of the excess fucking pussy. Hey, guys, just a cre-, high cooling, by the way, and it's not cool when it's you as the TV host because I happened to me on travel channel all the fuck he was constantly to you'd be up there doing an interview, and just kids running. We were in theme. Parks kids are just run up thug right in the pussy. I was like, dude, I was in the middle of being almost done work. It's, it's funny for when kids do it. You know what's weird to me is whenever there's like when NFL game broadcasts and they're showing the people in the back or like I take the fans and he seemed like walked by and they're all like this around, on the phone, we can do with that die. Now, do you calling? I, I take see me in this day that in Dallas I was walking as they had this things Dallas they had this TV show at the bottom, where the Mavericks played and I was walking by. We're going to do press walking by and their on air. And I was like. Walk in. I'm doing that fucking prowl. Were they like with the? You're the asshole, and I was like, oh my God. I was I had this weird urge. I got me good to didn't that guy. Got me. Good. Fuck of keep talking. I forget, what he, he said something to me on air, in the middle of a story that just shut my story down, my baby. I didn't know I was being taken. I call it on a radio show and they go Brian colon is on. I didn't know. Yeah. So Brian tell us about what it's like to work with Roseanne. I was like I don't. That's a different sketch. I do mad TV Ryan colon. So tell us calendar goes, yes. And. So rosa. And I got mad because I didn't get the joke. I thought the guy was idiot. Yeah. Hey, it's Callan you jackass. He goes. Okay, Brian Cole. And thank you so much on dude hubbub when I was doing what happens live with Andy Cohen. They took calls and they don't know. Like the fan base is ridiculous. We alive caller here. Yeah. You know, millions of people watch that fucking show or any co and they care. This is Dave from walkie. I heard you suck. Joe Rogan off of the comedy store one time. And then and he's all he doesn't know he's all did. You. Yeah. House all home. That's not that's not real good. Anyway, I think he's talking to you. I think you got me and Andy confused. Yes, I get my daughter, my daughter's I get them all the time. There's no better feeling at the hotel the in the pool and just go out to the balcony, Georgia. I LA mom says the bulls, get a bother your but rash medicine and just shut down. I did I did it to my daughter's friend, my daughter's friend, where the Georgia birthday party the other night. And I didn't know Instagram's stories. I was like her mom goes. He's got diarrhea, but I go man, nothing like having diarrhea birthday party and I swing to her, and she was no. And then I tagged her, she was like I want more fans, I want to be an influence on Instagram. I was like, there you go. You got to do it. They go. I don't know why found it funny. You see some bullshit Jenkin. Find some bullshit, award show some gal or something, and this latest, you know, she just bright, a have a lot of experience, what she's doing, and she's interviewing this, this other girl. And she goes, so who are you wearing tonight? And she was Kate Spade. She goes, I love her. Did you come with their tonight and the girls like we I came with and she's like where he at where she because I love for all we're is she at girls like until I came with her team, she's like, well, when she comes by definitely told her stop on by hair and then back to you Janine and then everyone's all more thing. Yeah. Is she is? Is this her the CBS whatever? It took me. I don't know seventeen years to realize that she's made to David Speights brother. Did you knew that? Yes. Kate spade. Wasn't that same inning spades? David Speights brother. Yes. Yes. That sister sister, Kate Spade is David spades. Cyst. Oh, really? No, no, no, no. His brother as married to David spades brothers. Suicide she committed suicide. Yeah. Is that her why the joke were? Oh my media, both Ambrose is question. And for Brooklyn seem another one of my favorite American design what made you pick. Kate. Are you here with Kate here with Kate? She year. Well before her or did she skip by the team from Kane is here? That woman, air Fogarty, great woman needs need to show hitting. No. She didn't spayed. I take some committed suicide along a long time ago rash. Yes show. Yeah. It's been out. Yeah. Those are still funny to me men because she didn't mean to she. She should an apology kind of. John, there's something that is beautiful about the internet and kind of what we do is not knowing you don't need to know everything in a podcast. You don't need to have all the answers bro sites to we when I was on TV I was on FX me and Gary Valentine interviewed iceberg, slim, and I said, what are we going to say to him go, Gary, why don't you say, like do you like I'll go like, do you really women, you know, and he was an and then you go show me how hard you hit a woman on my hand. Right. Sean f or whatever I don't know, icebergs time, I'm sorry, go so we start the interview we're talking about his book, pimping, or whatever. And we're like psycho, so iceberg. Do you really hit hit a woman like and he goes? Yeah. Bitch not got his megabits and Gary. No. Right. Well, it's harder. You gotta hit them. You gotta hit him and Gary was okay Sam bitch. And I'm acting up like show me on my hand and he smacked, Gary hand heart as fuck and studio on everyone's silent. Gary, just put his hands on. It was still real sad. Wow. That WAS FG ain't no bitch. The whole do you miss 'cause you're not. I mean you do a lot of shit. We do you miss TV at oh, no. And I miss, I never got to do scripted. Really? I'd like to try it acting. Yeah. Imagine acting. I just was I was. Like a good story. I, I did a sitcom probably like nineteen ninety nine maybe with Elliott Gould. Oh my God. Yeah. Hof AM actor. So Elliott Gould pasture time bring him up Jenkins emulators goes. Elliott gould? We're all at a table re he's fantastic. We're all he's making history X become a kite. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Never stopped working. That's right. We we're at a table. Read now get obsessed. I find out that Elliott Gould was married to Barbara Streisand. So I'm like, oh, Elliott like everyone's like everyone's around Elliott Elliott. We're about to the table radio. You married, the Barbra Streisand. And he goes was I go Barbara Streisand, you married. Barbara Streisand, I guess. Yes, I did. And they go. Wow. I what she like he goes, a can we start this table read didn't want to can we start this table, so then so then Elliott Gould, Elliott Gould? We gotta do you know, more about sitcoms I knew, but it's like a pickups at the we did the pilot, right? But wasn't perfect. So we've gotta do pickups add, like, which are alternate lines for everything. So one of the lines, it wasn't working as the woman that woman walked in Liz. Kadhem. It always, I knew her name she you probably know her she walked in. She was the bride to be, and she would come in and go, hey, you guys drinking beers before the wedding. Can I have a beer and then my role is the best friend was, like, of course, but they wanted it so that like that, of course really showed that we had a friendship. Right. Right. So we do it like nineteen different ways. Sure. Things sis. Of course, all these reeds at the networks giving me. So Elliott Gould playing a blind man standing behind me with a dog, and he's playing a blonde guy. Look off side. They walk away. It's like two in the morning and he leans down and he goes improper one and I go. Yeah. And he goes, yeah. Trust me in problem. It will be the one they use. So she comes in. She goes, hey, can I be here, and I go is a duck's ass water tight get in here? And it gets a huge laugh, right? Great show, runner comes up to me smiling gets right into me. It goes right by me. He goes, you are fucking me in the fucking asked. Right now. I got bench over and fucking the by you in front of all the finer. Exacts. And he walks away, Elliott Gould still playing a guy and got blind gun just goes sorry. Show was look this very fucking very Mindy show sized, and did you have to Jeff? You don't hear. No. You don't remember the name of the sitcom life with David J life. We didn't get picked up right now doing it picked up matter. But did you. Elliott Gould were cool though. Like he ended up giving me his number. And we, we talked all the time I love his fucking number. I ran into him read into them in front of sag. Those are my wife and my family and he goes, Burt turn around and my father-in-law's like, you know, Elliott Gould is he still alive. Oh, yeah. He was a really interesting guy. He's still working something. Now. Audition for that, right? Yeah. Did you do acting class anything just rolling did acting class with a confused me cut me like all my head, and then I just I went in, I had a deal at CBS at the time. So I went in. I did the read notions, eight auks and FOX loved me. I mean, I killed it that one that one read I did with them. I'm murdered is the only time I ever did that right ever. Do you wanna be an actor? I don't know a little bit. Yeah. I wouldn't mind having a job on I wouldn't mind doing a four multicolored four cameras sitcom on CBS, Radford would love that. I would love that live sung so close. Yeah, I would so say you think you would take time off the road and be happy about it. Yeah. I think so. Really? I think I I enjoy storytelling. So if I was a part of the process of writing the story like today, we had a we had a conference call about about as a sitcom were my we're going to do whatever. And they were asking stuff about my daughters and how my daughter's deal with social media, and I had said something on Rogin yesterday which is true, my daughters hate when I'm on social media. So when I put my phone is starting stories they do stuff, and they go, my dad hits mom in the background, and I go. Hey. Does he word? And I'm like saying, Nope. I can't post them. I told it to them. I love that. I would love to incorporate that I'd love to be an storytelling concept, marry David love, it's your life address. Yeah. That's a great idea, like Larry David, a lovable every day, we see K vibe. And so you're way, more fun than all vulnerable. And those guys that's the thing about you. You're very honest and vulnerable and likable. Only. The only reason I got people. The only reason I got the sitcom. So I killed at FOX over to CBS to do, the do the test at CBS and less menas walks in, and I g. And let's move sits down and the whole rooms there. He's been that room. Yeah. Many times he goes. Bert. No, I go, I look at them, and I go, it's up less, and he was Burt. Good to see you again. We've never met and the room goes what the fuck. And he goes, we haven't, and I said, I definitely would remember that hair and he laughs and he goes, yeah. And I said, how did you end up on that side of the camera with looks like that and feels act? He was an actor and he goes, oh, thing, I'm gonna like this Reed. Did the read bombed he gave it to me? I've been in that room. Yes. Maybe thirteen maybe twenty times how many times did he once? Yeah. Once because that room would be heats to he'd walk, and he's really cool though. Like you say, we will. There's always issues, but he was the godfather, and the most successful man in TV easy, and he go in there man was emperor's new clothes. Nobody would laugh until he loved it. It was it was such a tight room. It was that fucking weird room. We still zero me off every time I. Like a scenario that power know. Yeah, there's still those big big ways out the bid, the bigwig at a network. See everybody's terrified right? And the reason they're terrified is because when you're a network, executive your mortgage, your kids private school. Everything's riding on the season being successful. I get it. When it's not successful, you're over overlords, go, something's got to change, and you get fired or move. But if you is you are successful. So that's why when they when they are looking at actors, nobody wants to be the guy who chooses the actor that sucked or the actor that, that made a tank everybody's when the head-hunter goes, that's the guy everybody goes. Oh, that is the, that's the guy less move. Yeah he found James corden he found he was at a play in England at James corden was on Broadway basically and he was at a play. And he's watching him do his thing and he was like, oh, shit. I got I guess, should host a tonight show is such a talent and went up to a mathematician. He was great. Let's move as remember. Remember seen so many people come and go see I knew he was good as it gets. I really don't get tighten those situations. I think I just don't care. Yeah, I haven't been something that big big situations. I don't because I have other things going on. So like, if they don't like they don't get. I had never anything going on. This doesn't work out. I'm good meal. Youthful meat. See, for me for me it was it was I get this. And I could buy a house, or or I literally have about now. But now you're not that know it's different. That's why we're all working. Then there was the, the gods made the decision. I hear you there was only only one place and you didn't get it. And that was like and there was a pilot season. There was really small to get any job you could. Then you went the rest of the year without a job. You when I was on the job. But you gotta think about this. We're also talking about what I mean, I must have it back, then you were talking about twenty five episode. Get twenty guarantee twenty fifty grand in episode. You. You know comic was making twenty five grand on the road. No no-one. Well, yeah. Now, it's like five everyone's making twenty by brand on the on the road. It seems like and but dude, I remember that I remember going into auditions. This brings back weird feelings going, I gotta pay rent, like any book your tents, you can desperate. How about that desperate? I been in rooms where I was desperate, where I where I was just like I just was I was like I can't do this anymore. Can't you come get tenses like last night was doing stores at shows that the comedy store, I knew Adam was watching tents. Adam the for. Yeah. Yeah. Super teeth. I still get tens of the store every now and then just because it, I mean, I get tense sometimes doing stand up, but man, I haven't thought about this forever. But like I remember I remember going in like nervous about shows. I didn't fucking want. I wanna do, but I knew I needed the money, I took a job on a show that was produced by one of the impractical jokers, mer-. It was called, let's bowl or something like that, or something bold. And it was like a celebrity poker tournament. Remember those, but with bowling, and I was the host. It was so sad sad, and it was like a new thirteen grand ten grand but didn't Burr and wrote until this story before many times, but didn't burn Rogin sits you down the store, like what the fuck you doing on TV. Don't get Joe did it to me twice. But yeah, but borough Rogan one time I walked in, and I was like said something about how long ago was this first of all four years ago, three years ago? I said some. Something about. Some something celebrity, you know, like you gotta rub. Joe wrong. Sometimes amber it rubs, it'd be talking about celebrity and, and they just for, like, did your TV show sucks. And I was like, what we love you, we love you. You're much better stand up in your host don't be like you're not celebrity guy. You're not a famous guy, your comic don't ever forget that you're a comic, and the best thing to happen to you is you quit that show and you get back into comedy, you gotta do a special and yoga into it. He was like you need, you need to do a special you need to be doing spots at the store, all the time you need to be on the road. You're neglecting, your stand-up have neglecting, your podcast. There's you're leaving money on the table for your podcast. And on the road, where were you at during this time when he told you this? I just I just decided to do Bert, the conqueror again. And so I was like, that's the show on. I had a deal travel channel had like a four year deal. That was coming kind of money we talking about now. Eight hundred thousand a year that's eight hundred thousand a year. A lot of money. Yes. Say not a lot. I don't know what episode I was in a deal I was in overall. Deal. So the way I deal work, Paul anyway. Deal. Traffic. He's still. That's I would assume you're making any episodes Ville. You were doing. Yeah. I was signed up for doing thirteen episodes per year to shit out of money, but he's on nobody. Here's the key Opie. I had let's say go numbers. I don't remember the exact numbers. Let's say it was ten thousand dollars an episode the breakdown for the overall deal. So overall deal is worth say, for that year four hundred thousand dollars right for one year, they break that up into thirteen episodes of twenty episodes, whatever they felt they were gonna shoot. And then if you shot more episodes than that, they put into penalty, and then all of a sudden, your money got, like time and a half type. So all of a sudden, your money doubled with an extra more and I did everything for them, and they said, go to fucking Hawaiian pickup and dig tarot plants. I dug tarot plants 'cause I knew I'd do three episodes over there. And that was going to be time and a half, we use them for money at this point Dilbert, nobo- I, I'd never been. I never had money just coming in eight hundred grand, a lot of fun. Making money. A lot of nobody's making back in the day that was a that was three years ago. Those four I was probably three years ago, my last year travel channel, I made the most money I ever made because I did like to series three series. I would just do a series. I will do everything I do everything they asked. And I loved it. I mean, I was I was so and you're traveling the world you went bet your daughter's didn't like it. Oh, dude, I was gone at my schedule was two weeks out. When we come two weeks out when we it's awful for the whole riffing horrific is the biggest regret, I have is I missed a lot because I was working I was working and I was you did this for four years. I did this for nine years. I know that there for nine years, and I was on travel channel traveled to everywhere, in the world, but you must have, like just when the show doing it for nine years, I love the crew. I love being with the crew. I loved look how skinny ever play. But that didn't hold on. That is sell tickets for you tickets to nothing. And by the way doing. Rogan like people come out, and they go, I didn't know you did stand up thought you just one of his travel channel friends, and you were like, no, no. I've been a stand up whole life. I get fired from travel channel that is to get fired, just didn't like me. There's new management for nine years. New. Amanda new president came in. That's what happens. They get a fresh. They wanna fragile phrase there guy. Yeah. Exactly. So you got fired your bump. Oh, do. So bummed. If no idea, I was, I was on this, poor woman, according White's. Her name had to listen to me grovel on the phone. I'm so embarrassed. She have how she was a new president. She's like listen. We're going to new direction. We're going to part ways with you. We're not run union contract best of luck and you future. You know, you got a lot of fans over here, technically she was saying, I'm not one of them, but and then I literally was like, okay, well you know, I've been pitching. And just, you know, I'm really I'm only I don't really going to say with you guys. I don't want to go to know that work. So, like, dude, I am so embarrassed. She just was like, like she was breaking up, and she was, like, okay, okay, okay. Okay. I got everything click. We hear anything hung up on me. I go home wife goes. Good news. They can see you. They're going can get your perspective me. Now, they're they have an opening today. I was like demoing my house. I get a call from live nation. I'm supposed to do the funnier die tour and they cancel all twelve of the daytime on why my Showtime, special airs knowing fucking watches it. No one wants to Showtime. Gotta shut. The machine story was on Showtime. And I'm on I'm I'm like I get into therapy. I'm like, I'm like, I'm fucking loss. Man. I have morning. I have a conversation with Tom. We talk about the money. We're making different clubs and I met John time they'll give us frames murdering it. He's about to buy a house. He's done his first theater tour sold out. Everything added shows. He's my best friend, no jealousy, two friends talking about money and Tom going Doraemon. We'll get your your podcast monetize. We'll get you out of this whole, you're going to, it's I'm telling you keep working keep doing specials. Keep selling tickets and I wasn't celsius job. I was in Saint Louis right before you were that this, this is he is the say Louis helium. That's iceman. Saint louis. Bummer. Dude, I, I love mar told me my buddy, I love love growth told me I love you. I love Joey. Oh I love you. And I'm doing Indiana this weekend. Williams are great. Are great shape Saint Louis I said tomorrow, Mark, I'm not going to Saint Louis. I just can't do. I don't like the town. The town doesn't do who I liked the town don't like the club back your store, so you're in Saint, Saint Louis after Brian sold seven tickets. I do. Yup. I do New Year's Eve you ready for this guy. And I'm we're really talking money. I'm sure someone's gonna be fucking. I love it. Twenty five grand guarantee for nears even Oxnard, right? I move maybe one hundred fifty tickets for the whole week that levity levity. They just opened it Tom had been there, two weeks before working on new material sold out the weekend. And I'm thinking how I'm just like being on special go. How does how did they not know about me? We're, we're best friends like how do they not know about me Tom's fat, shaming me at the time. Right. He's fashion me. I'm trying to lose weight. We're going to do the way ends on Rogan's podcast, a higher marketing team to try to get people to watch my special on Netflix. They guarantee me millions of downloads. They don't deliver on any of that. That none of my clips go viral. None of that. The day before New Year's Eve I just killed bucket. I post the machine story 'cause I just forgot posted machines story on Facebook because you own it was it from Showtime, the way, once again, I really feel this is like the ruin your career podcast notes emiss- read my contract. It's Showtime, misread the contract. It said four clips, and they met four collapse under thirty seconds. Thirty seven minutes of my special. And what happened? And so, and I post the machine story. Goes viral like I'd never seen. So never had anything like that happened in my life. He's ever, it goes the first night, it gets, like looking at it, and I'm looking at like twenty thousand views but it's got fifteen thousand shares seems like a lopsided number. And then all of a sudden, it's like that, next morning, three million than that night, seven million and then nine million and fifteen. And then what happened is other people started ripping it and posting on their page, and you'd watch that like this one, I forget his name manager knows it eighty million views on his page. I like and you're just like whoa. And it just starts screaming at the top, I go to marketing campaign for by the way, nothing, but marketing company, calls me and says, so why did you pick that day ago? Excuse me, and then, like that day, that's a really interesting day that you chose to post that because the way that it was set up Christmas and New Year's kinda sidesaddle weekend. Too bad time almost like two weeks off almost the way that, that, that one year worked. And so the day I posted it on the twenty seventh of January or December, it was like the they were opening Christmas presents, but they had a whole week off, it was like it was like a weird time to post it dude, I go to the first week and I go to New Jersey stress factory and there's a blizzard, Vinnie brands. Like do you saw the fucking weekend? He's off can weekend I go to the next week in buffalo. Same blizzard Mark Grossman's like you saw it on the fucking weekend. And all of a sudden I start looking like a William selling out. I was like change all my fucking deals. I was like, I'm not no guarantees. I wanted percentage. And then from that, that one video changed my life, and then from just like I must stand up, and then I was like I was like fuck TV like they call me up. Like, hey, we got this not have stand up. I was like, in my head, a said, I am this is because I'm cocky, but, like I knew I was good stand up. I was like, I, I believe if I focus only stand up for this entire year, and I figured eighteen months IQ. Shoot a slam special because I had so much material backlogged that I had never really liked to do. And I remember working that next hour out immediately the second that our dropped I dropped everything and started brand new fresh. I did have a lot of material I hadn't done a special on a while kept telling machine story, the end do an hour's news zero. Tell him ASEAN story on everyone's super happy. But and then once I got the green light from net flicks to do a special who'd I became obsessive compulsive at work ethic and travel channel where two weeks out when we come was, like, I turn that into stand up, and I would do Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday Friday, Saturday, Sunday clubs do one nighters to shows one hundred two shows one hundred and on the road. I did that our probably one hundred fifty times, just obsessive I dude. And I took that our, I got I got crazy about it, 'cause I was like adhere stuff, like I remember Dalil one time in the in the in the green rooms, like do they only watch thirty minutes, especially on Netflix. And I was like, what he's like the only watch thirty minutes. Specials and I hit up Netflix. So I was like, hey, they only watch thirty minutes and they're like, yeah. People turn it off for thirty minutes. So I was like fuck that my closer goes at twenty five minutes. So if you watch special I took everything that I like rated at one one two thirty about all the bits I had everything that was blocking the best went in that first twenty five minutes, and then I was like, and then I'll tell my and then I'll keep going just want people to stick around. I think that a and, you know, this, I think birds one of the greatest comedians alive. But one of the best things at Bert does is marketing. He's so fucking good at. Yeah. I'm sure media everything. So good social media, hold the whole touring bus and everything. But, but his social media, the promos everything, so good. Yeah. Other comics. I don't sell tickets on like dude. Look look at Bir burn look at other guys doing it man, do I think you shit a lot. Like I feel like if I go to New York to Newark, comments, trash me, but in, like, actually. They actually like, just make fun of the idea like Ari hates our has everything do. Xiaomi bankston. Hell okay, clothing. You know like me, like we're all friends and stuff. But like every comics like, oh, so, what are we going to do? Another promo video. I am because I'm are sell out my next show and also you want to go on stage we can do this. I never I never had the like never had the like stamp of like of, like, taste makers, of, like, yeah, I never had that never Lenny variety, top ten comics to watch or or, or I never got put into anything. I never went to a festival ever my career, no one has ever like you should do. Montreal Montreal never wanted me. I had to Fanego my way into ninety two. When? But when you're a taste maker, and there's a list of comics that we could name right now that are people that just were I'm not saying gifted factor. Strange cool factor. That's always been there. I I've noticed for twenty five years, I mean it happened in New York. When I first started there were just the cool kids, that would get that they get plus Yorktown in New York Times and, and various like the back then, like the people that are influencing the culture chose be like, who. I, I mean I think I'm I think I become like that, doesn't it be known? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Talk to me. Back in the day, when we were working, I never got that, like Louis C, K was always cool. He would use underground cooling forever. But a lot of times you guys were, but, but a lot of guys were the darlings of. Of the media back that the taste, of course, voice makers were, there are a lot of really good guys and sometimes the taste makers like the New York Times, they have just it is what it's there you dealing with probably a handful of people that make a different me. Ask you this. Why do you think you would never one of those guys because everyone they're saying this because brand through my best friends, but everyone, I've talked to like Br is even before I was in stand, like, Brian's, one of the most talented stand ups on the he's been forever and even even Bill Simmons podcast on one of his shows. They watch old movies. They watch the hangover and use your little clip. And they go Brian if he was given ten lifetimes nine out of ten. He's a absolute superstar sluggish. I'll jump in right now. And by the way, I can say this, I love Zak. I love that Zach Zach almanac is Zach confu, can obviously feel free to disagree on. And this is not slandering. Zach Zach was a darling of. The industry. Yes. Like a darling. Meaning like he got he got a TV show. It would fail. No, no, no. Give another one. You get. And by the way, I'm not shitting on. He's got a lot of chances. And he always got, like if there was a cool comedy show to Goto. Zach was always booked on it and like I mean, like I remember going things in that was booked on everything. By the way Zack is amazingly funny. I cannot discount so counting ways that people don't know how, but but there, there are people that were equivalent is act that got those opportunities that were not as talented. They just dressed his way or they acted his way or they were snooty or they condescending. So that's what that's what I was gonna say there's a certain cool factor. I think part of the Zach was. That was really. I was obvious. I was I would go in there prepared and I make you laugh hard and I and I was a little vague. Don't you think you I think your thing be for long stand up is you wanted to be an actor so bad that stand up. I did. But I always on it. I know you know, I wanted to, I guess, so, I think it was more the fact that there's something really cool about a comic that makes you reach a comic. That's not always trying to be the funniest but rather trying to be, but you were very Reverend. You're very wanted to be a movie wanted to be funny. Be movie. Yes. And when you have somebody who's a satirist like if you have a Dave spell who's like who's not even worried about making you laugh. He's more worried about saying something while they smoking, there's something very cool and Sheikh about that stuff Louis CK. There was near reverence with a lot of these guys for me. I just wanted you to like me, and I was up there. I mean is a perfect example, sued and this is ninety, but like to DIKO watch Janine bomb forever. I am fascinated like Jiawei Garoppolo the way her brain works again. She makes she was one of the cool, and she was, she was one of the cool like, and then I think guys like me and Brian who were like, you know, like rip your shirt off kit. Like Sarah Silverman, there was, by the way. All very talented amazing, Sarah, I remember Sarah so young. I remember zero so young. She was much about Sam Silverman. Sarah again, Sarah for twenty five years like saying something like the Dell too. I think she's fucking that and she's a but again. Remember Sam cedar members Samson these were really, but Sarah was Sarah was killer and Sarah is bucking lecture, and legend monster. Garry shandling fucking protege talking, but she was always she was always the girls. I remember I'm married. So funny, when you think back I was so young. And they said, well, Sarah here was that just got back from L A, and I was in New York. And we're like well. She doing what she did you know what it was. You know, Sarah, there's, there's something that, and by the way, I will say this, like, everyone, we just talked about, n that group of cool kids, that we always say, like putting the variety top ten and this and that there was something about them like a weird kind of confidence where they didn't give a fuck. And like I said, Brian, I, maybe never had that I never had that confidence. I was like, have it now, though. Right. Because there's a we have a now, now, now I know how things cool, there's boys club, right? You lose your reference, because you go hold on. First of all, I was so impressed with people in suits, I just thought they knew much more than I did. So I would go in there, and I just wanted to please them like when I did let them and they said, you gotta wear a suit, I went and bought a really bought a nine hundred dollars to I didn't have didn't even have the money and I went and bought that. And I was like, I'll be a good boy. What else do I'm gonna do do so nervous? You, you hear stories about guys who fuck the system. Mike Epps dude. Mike Epps when in for the UPN, right? And he goes, he does the read and get it's great. You know, we really can't understand you can you do it a still keep a black, but like these all white people feel black, but do it less blood. There's a story. Mike Epps told me by the way, I swear to God, I could not come less urban urban. Let's get any then he goes, so he does it again. Like, no, no, no. We like it. Can you make it more like a like a New York? Hip hop like New York. Hip hop and Mike Epps looks at them at the table reading goes. Yeah. Fuck you mother fuckers. How you like that? And got up and. Walked out too. I never had that confidence Brian, and I were always I want to get the job. Then I wanted to be liked. They're selling uncool, about a guy who really wants to be liked and who doesn't have the confidence in smell the desperation. It's like a girl. Damn even dude, any super thirsty. It turns the girls that was my whole career. And a lot of ways I was just I just wanted to be liked. And I didn't have the confidence in myself, and I didn't even think I've along there is so new beast, or it's so interesting to hear you tell it like Deborah since I've known some gun comedy. You've been this monster. Nobo-. I was I was the guy that like if I felt like there were rules in line. I wanted to follow the rules. I want to be the guy that took too many chances. It wasn't too. I started taking my shirt off. And I went to Showtime, I was like Hamdoune on my shirt off. I remember Tom left so fucking hard. He was like, why would you do that? And I was like, I how I do stand up at you and I get embarrassed of it, sometimes at the store. I won't take my shirt off because I don't want to, like, I don't want to ruffle feathers someone going, bro. It's obviously you take your shirt off. It's going to be easier for you to kill but I go. But that's how I like doing stand who would do that. Now, people maybe shocked many people to pull the inside figures hurt off tonight. Yeah. And so, but. That he knows who he is. And he's very grateful that I'm not saying his name, but you telling us off the oh I can't win. So this is no, no. I'll make. Because what I was on the same shows you in the comics back saying, how bad you crush. I've heard like, you know, like last night, the fall Sebastian and before that, to follow fuck in Bobby Lee on, you know, monsters, and I've never heard this group say, the names, scruple comics, because Burt was on the line up. Like you tell they're all around, like nobody wants to follow Burt, not specially. I mean in general they heard off right now. King put role. I gotta do is go marathon. It's like no, you got this bet right now. Yeah. I know you're talking about you give it away and you get they were like trying to figure it out. I've never seen it before my favorite, but I've ever read in my entire fucking life on top in the main room on fire. Brian, I'm so glad to hear you talk like this, because that was defined me. The concept of wanting to fit in and wanting to like, not ruffle feathers and do what they said and like go like like my first paschel cow. I you know, my counter cow had he's a big DJ in Tampa. I get my special went I had the meeting and the for comedy central comfortably dumb, and they go, so just, you know, like what works well, best on cameras, like a dark shirt, a dark jeans. But if not like was, was like the kind that have like lightning. I just did. I followed suit. I did a special. This is two thousand nine you go look it up. I did a special me. Bill Burr, Chris Titus, and peak Qoryoley or the exact same outfit blacks. Pull up any of us in the two thousand nine comedy central's bicycles. We all wear the same fucking out this, and Callard said to me guy. So we're you, my specialty goes, I don't know it looks like you're dressed to be a comedian to go like a form. Yeah. What do you mean? And he goes per some of, it's the way it raised raised to believe that there's a power structure, and that you do what you're told Julia. Great focus story. I had a piece Obama, only hear the story so bad might be. I gotta go pee all the story. Go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My shows you see me on the road. There's only one coffee, only one type of being going into this damn body. And it's black rifle black rifle coffee, black rifle coffee delivers roast order coffee direct to your doorstep. They can't get the freshest most premium quality coffee and every damn order, you joined the subscription club, every month, you get two bags of the best coffee on planet earth that you, enjoy, incomes, every month subscription you save money. You don't have to worry about it. Just shows up at your door. Go to black rifle coffee dot com slash shop. You see receive ten percent off your entire damn order. And I have my tasty Astros. The big Brown, dark rose. It's so dark. It's so Brown. It's so delicious. I think is best coffee on the website, just saying little bias did invent myself, not a big deal. Go to black rifle coffee dot com slash Shaab. Receive temps off your entire order. That's black rifle coffee dot com slash shop for ten percent off black rifle coffee dot com slash Shaab. Get your coffee on you ready. You're so right before right before I get fired from travel channel. I'm in my parents have a beach house in Clearwater, so down at the beach house and light a cigar have a glass of wine my wife's there, my mom's there. It's me and my dad, and he says, so what's going on? You're going to do that Showtime, special I said, well, I'm first and foremost, I want to get re signed by travel, tell us my biggest thing, my dad's phrase to me in life was each shit cash checks. Right. I was his phrase God shit cash. Right. Awful. Sunsafe on the. Yup. Didn't want to be a lawyer in life. I'll be a lawyer. Each cash checks had dreams, but your dreams off-side each cash checker. My wife's wants to be a singer, Honey. Honey, Honey, raise kids, he shit cash checks. So I say to my dad, so I say to my dad, the, I just wanna I hopefully I'll get re-signed by travel channel. And then I won't have to worry about anything for a few years, and by, then I'll be fifty or forty five and, you know, I don't know. We'll figure it out. And I said to my dad, I mean, thinking nothing what happened I go. You know, each cash checks, maybe, like forty two at the time forty three. My dad starts crying aggressively crying and goes, he goes, oh, oh my God. Oh, I fucked you up. I fucked you up, and he was, I was like, what I'm gonna get emotional. He's like I thought you up no each it in cash checks is for me. Like it's not for you. You have talent. I had nothing. I oh God. And he says, buddy, Aw, he goes, if you don't roll the dice on yourself now you're going to look back and regret life. And I went really. And he goes, if you're if you're buddies had told him out, burn, Rogan's, if your buddies are telling you to get away from travel channel getaway from travel channel, and I was like, really news. I in my head, I was like, oh, we'll see what happens if this deal, you know. But man when I got fired it was the greatest thing. And I and I kept thinking my dad's going each cash checks each cash checks. And I remember saying, like, yeah. You know, berm Rogan said I should do stand up a focus on stand up, but each cash checks. Right. Dad sobbing high in Cranston. Nowhere. My dad just started bawling. I was like, and I looked at my wife. I looked at my mom, I was like Faulk too. He sent me this Email today, your Papa din today he'd be debt at groped close. Rogan is such a good friend because Rogan will tell you the truth that fucking. My dad's going through. That's thirty miles my dad's don't through. My, my grandfather kept a diary, when he stormed, the peaches of Omondi, Normandy, more Normandy. So posting he's been posting my guy just in my dad's getting older. So he's got an emotional. Any real sent me this fucking Email today? That was like is like a as as your aging father. I wanna off you some advice based on my life experiences, including my experiences as your father, for which now I'm renowned talk shit about a month, but. Certain things in life or important. And to be cherished first and foremost, your family, which I feel like you've mastered he's off on that tears to you in the end. Likewise, you've been more successful in your career. You've reached the pinnacle of success with earnings, and we're more magical than I could ever imagine. Few years ago when we sat on that porch in Clearwater, your mom mice is your sisters, and your mom myself and your sisters are so very proud of you in your chievements. But then he said, this is the thing that fucking stuck with me. True wealth is good health. Please. Have that be impressed upon you. I've had two heart procedures prostate surgery, knee, surgery at a nasty blood infection along with arthritis in both knees and both hips. All I can express you and impress upon you is that true wealth is good health to them to now. Like as like I'm gonna be drinking, and like fucking twenty minutes when I read that and I was like, well, I'll work on it tomorrow. As though do great a beautiful thing. It's a I'm glad he's still alive. You know, how does he semi to not that old not that old bunch of surgeries, boo dude, he's a big boy? He's been. He's been. He's a runner his whole life. And so he ran marathons he ran fifty miles every night. Get home and run fifty miles in his knees, just fucked from it and hit two hips, and everything running doesn't really doesn't everybody so weird. Yeah. Tell it to Joe about. Sobre tober. What we I haven't seen the episode yet. Would you guys decide on that with you are a ton? We wanted to do hip hop dance. But Joe that'd be so fun is very adamant about not doing. Hip Joe Basie decides we we're gonna do. No. We we all vote on it, and then Joe decides what we do. I sold him so good. I hadn't, you know, when you go into pitch a movie you make them feel like it's their idea. And then you saw the TV, how that dude, that's the that's the last sober October. The last last night, we killed one of those Jodl has the belt on the new picture on the belt. Yes. On instagram? So what are you guys going to do? He wants to do long distance run who can run the most in a monk. Hey, dude, like, that's not fair. It's not fair for you. It's tough for your for our. It's bad for your Bari's are has the body to do it. The first of all, I'm the only person in this whole group who's ever run long distance jelly here. I ran the marathon in with no training in five hours thirty three minutes. That is not, by the way, my very careful about the words, I choose. I know that these all inspire Joe and inspiring Joe is the most dangerous thing. You can do in a competition. Joe's running. He runs all runs a lot. He runs nonstop. He's in much better shape than I am. I'm not saying that all he's a much better shape. He runs hills. But here's Ari wants to do. No social media, and I said Ari alright understand this 'cause I don't think he's done enough television to to know this, but flip it's not inspiring to watch someone do nothing now. Like it's not fun. The fan. You want to watch someone to something. If you said motivates you if you said, we're going to do a sitting still competition on TV for thirty two minutes. Let's not fun a dance. I want to fucking Bessie get on steroids into a to watch you guys on doing growth Tim Devlin to do a sexy dance. It takes so long Guinea, benefits from it due to competition, Tober October. Yeah. Not really gonna help you. Hock wynstrol. I wanted to win our talk. And now you're talking about deck, Anna ball and of all, and then do like the rock fuck Instagram's all inspiration, by the way, the ride the rocks to him more than testosterone. He's doing derail. Nameless. Come on anyone, you want beckoned, etc. Yes. Check. Check. Check. Check check check a whole clock cocktail. His Baynes are all kinds of ship money can buy. But why not are you telling me if I just got cocktail up like that look like that, if I put the work in have to lift a lot of ways, I think it inspires, you, I think I think they're like clean your diet up like he does. I know it's a bummer. Get you'd get you'd be fit that you, do you, do you do metabolize carbs, much better who body burns, your testosterone? You can't drink alcohol. You get Liber cancer right? What are we talking about lands is some good whisking plantains is great? That's my favorite. It's a derivative of so. Kinda wanna do the running thing just to see the numbers. Joe puts up. I see the running art should beat the fuck. It of all you guys. He's built for running running these siree, by the way Ari is you can't deny already when we did October last time through up legit fucking numbers. No ours darkhorse for you to do one hundred percent. Cigarroa is not in love with running. Obviously now when I look at Tom, I'm not like there's a marathoner. Yeah. No, no. Part of tunnel, you run Rogan become obsessed with it. And it's gonna be he's he's built for long distance running eat. He can do it, though. Yes. He's, he's he's, he's gonna campaigns like helping them out like running with him and had a desert's and shit to something. You can beat him at dance. Why is he afraid of being a dancer? A Dan, does his competence out that it's out of his comfort zone. But it's also the only two Rogan's point. It's not really a it is a workout. It is tough dance class is, is. I took a dance class my daughter. For an hour. It's going to be pouring sweat now. I. But but I thought mentally tough as like distance, and he doesn't want to leave it up to the he doesn't wanna leave it up to a subjective judging panel to decide who's the winner, he wants a number. Which guys do what, what else could you do? I love the fact that my brain the four of the, the fourth grade of fucks, the only thing came was long distance already. Just all you are every years like can all social media. Get on social media. You'd be surprised how healthy are those. I can't. I mean like I have tornadoes to promote. It's like you're asking me to like, if we're getting on social media, where there's no podcasting like, do you can't podcast can't promote your podcast. No, like what are we talking about? But there's a middle ground, like I don't read any com. I don't. Host and all that you uttering comments. I don't recall meant I post I put out content, and they already have my friends, and I get off, or he wants us to do it the way he does it. But by the way, that's about. Hater is the surf option still on the table. That's Kelly Slater, oh, just me. Just saw me do is the surf option still on the table. Why don't you fuck? Me, and I, sorta got to got rock hard to his video of him falling off a surfboard in the tube getting back on a surfboard and finishing the wave. He's alleged Kelly's. I grew up in Florida. Do we idolize? Where he grew up, though in cocoa beach. But then he moved to LA to serve he moved on. Yes, he did serve kogo beach. I served the same breaks. He did monster whole dude all that. She shout out to Kelly Slater. He'll he started this clothing brand. I'm such a fan. I ordered his Cleo. What's his clothes? Limits. They won't fit. I ordered I ordered that they, they don't make double X the XL it came like a fucking mid-riff. Hey kelly. You gotta make you gotta make sure you probably out or. No. It's dope shit. It was like, oh, when you get off the surf, and I used to be a surfer by his talks. He should of what like seven shirts, and none of it fit. What I liked him so much didn't send it just so big. Can I tell you can I tell you who makes all y'all shirts that I loved, I loved their shit, five four no fight fight fight fight shoots of fight our shirts routes to fight. So I gotta tell you. I love. Yeah. I just got it. They send you the jacket. No, no, no. I didn't get the jacket. I love I love roots of fight. But what I have to do is, I have to cut that tag in the neck out, because I've tactile excuse me, too. I have to I have to really painstakingly cut it out. Dude, love this, or what do you mean? Tactile the tags and the tags. It rose where it's gonna wear today. And I was like I was like, I'm not gonna wear it. I. Hey all my sweat. I didn't get those fucking mama. How sorry, do I need them? But the new show you got the new one. Jacket. They sent all you guys. Jackie I didn't get a jacket either. I just got I sort do. I love those sleeveless shirts. They have my daughters have stolen them. They love of my daughters. Take anything roots of fight comes to my house. They sneak it in grab it the bay a Bruce Lee one that's like a like a a it's a sweatshirt but it's sleeves sleeves like cut off sleeves gone. Don't you make the machine workout Gifford sober? Tober. The city's the machine fucking brilliant idea to sell it. I don't know where to get. Fight his Richard fight hit me up. Yeah. But I can do it. I can also help you with that you. I don't know. I'm thinking about that, that would sell like crazy dude. I love. I love the sobre ctober challenges. I'm not I'm not averse to the running. I just I just be a fun or I feel like there's gotta be something about the only thing that the thing that we lose sometimes is that we're comedians is like is like, I one point last year, I was losing my mind and Tom's, like, Burt. We're just comedians like we're not elite athletes. I know we're doing the yoga thing. And Tom asked me, y'all. I gotta be honest with you. And I and I'm not hating on yoga, Tom, I fucking hate. You'll Tom and I saw much benefit from it. I know some people love it and Rogin swears by it. And if it works for him. Great for me. I don't wrote it super flexible. So you're gonna get a split contest the that he's trying to get you guys do shit that he's been doing his whole is great. Yeah. I mean. Okay. So why don't you do weightlifting and fighting how about instead of sober Tober someone try and drink as much as Bert? What's up with that? There's not going to happen, we talked, but that's the same thing, right? Like Joe so athletically, gifted, and, you know, he does all these things be equivalent of view fucking drinking contest with them. Joe's fuck there's been physical his whole life, look at that. He's a he's a beast. I would love like Joe's car. Joe's a little bit like my, my, my dad, because of my dad tried to go to therapy. And he just he was like, yeah, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I think I'm good. Like I would love to hear Joe in therapy, because my dad is like well in my day told my dad you how often do you wash your car might that goes every morning? I kept wash my car, and I got goes. I will you. That's obsessive compulsive disorder mind. I goes now and my dad goes stands up goes, the windows, which car is yours guy tells them. My dad has a piece of shit you drive around the city like that. And he goes now I'm gonna problem. Go fuck yourself walked out of the therapy. Yes, my dad's brain he's like, no, I got a nice car. I keep it clean. I want to look nice. I want people to that's the way my dad is. But like jobs like my dad, like, like they're very similar brains works. It works for them. They jogos. No, we're running. We're running all three of us have said, we can't get into another competition that Joe simply excels that and try to compete with. He's already ahead of you gave us crumbled running now I would have been. Nice calm went with it. Feel like tolerant one. Dance. So bad Tom wanted to do hip hop dance. Yes, we haven't decided we saw time you guys do the hip hop dance, what you're doing, you know, you're doing. You're running a we're running Ron. I've already. Yeah, we're running whatever. Let Joe Ron, why don't you guys let you run? And you guys just to hip hop dance. That's not engine running fucking on, because it's fun texting back and forth for that month. And I kinda wanna see like you know, it's like I think ours the core. There was a guy there was a guy for trip. Flip one time. We went in, and we, we shot it a Greg, Greg Jackson's, Jim in Albuquerque. And we had we have to travelers that was the premise of the show, we took to travelers to have adventure of a lifetime. So the one guy traveller fought Tim Kennedy. And so, and I said I said to him, listen, you never going to get a chance to knock out a fucking heavyweight champ. Like you got to take a swing at him. Take one real swing atom tug, the tiger's tail just one time. And the kid looked at me goes really go. Oh, yeah. You got to he gets in the ring kidding, Tim Kennedy and their play fighting for TV you know. And then I just start going down the Tigers to hell and he takes us. Swing it Tim Kennedy and connect, and he sees it. In Tim Kennedy's is like, oh, we're fucking around. And all the sudden you watch this guy go. Out of here like it was, but one of the things we did it. I did it with Joe last year is I was making video because Joe would like to videos like, just ran two miles, so about Tober I'm killing Marshall, all right. And then I made a joke video no one got the fucking joke. I go. All right. Job and watch videos. I'm up here with my dog, you run two miles. I run four fucking miles and then go all right. Because of the worry you Priscilla Priscilla lost my dog. Right. All he heard was you run two miles, Iran. Tell you that's all he heard. And dude, the next day he's on a podcast Whitney Nikki Glaser. And he's like, he's like, I'm gonna break Bert. I wanna brats. I said, I just want to break, but I want to break him. And it's like psycho, what I would again complex ever have. I mean for me, it's like I don't know if you're going to if you're going to have a competition, you gotta have a competition with the guy who's already doing it. I'm already. I think people relate to Bert, and Tom doing it, and I, I wrote ios extreme chose. Joe makes fun to it. He gets extremely that he makes us get extreme that we probably go out of our conference. And everyone gets better. Yeah. And, and aren't I woke up this morning to fix his in? He still going to win because that's all he doesn't. He's been doing this is what's wrong with my brain. You can beat them. That's why you can you're already I've already wrapped up in my head. I stay on the bus. I stay on the bus all of October. I don't tell him to LA once I'm going. I'm out. I'm out. I'm authorization. Every said, it'd be go to them. Drop me off thirty miles outside that city on the bus, and I run my way into that city, every fucking thirty miles along way. You're gonna you're gonna fracture. Gotta do it. Well, listen, I'm going to train, I'm gonna train for a marathon sleeting Tober. So can I just let the next myth on your end? It's going to be October. I said, do you know how they do you? Now, sometimes they'll train like the there's an Olympic long distance coach trains, his athletes. So just especially in the beginning as you're getting into it, believe it or not, you could do one of two things. One is the have you walk as fast as you can speed walk. Seven minutes Asensio. Listen and speed walk back. I don't feel build your, you'll build your, your endurance. Right. Right. Like say speed walk seven. There's a guy who's an Olympic he's one of the most winning Olympic long distance coaches, and then he has a whole thing about this, or, they'll take you on a on a treadmill, put it at the golden incline, and you'll walk just walk as fast at four miles an hour for fifteen minutes. Call the beast good luck with that. But you will you will build your, your cardiovascular your endurance where he built run without. That having series do get on EP L. Do he's got to be careful. Now, you may not get a guy he's monitoring dude. I'm telling you, I because you start you start thinking your head. Just. Okay. This is what's wrong with my brain. There's what's immediately wrong with my brain. What if I beat Joe, like let's, let's? Have you got? Let's, let's play this an area. Competition. Why don't you have a speed while still birth to do that? Yeah. It looks so fucking weird. Dude is really what if you what, if what if they were to beat them? Imagine the. Somebody's gonna die because if joke because you guys can monitor it, right. You'd Joe's gonna see like a day before back on one hundred miles away from beating Bert. He's gonna run like a hundred miles to the night or something like that. Joe do mazy. Joe does I don't have Joe's brain? He doesn't I you guys don't care as much as he go into a math of it, where I go, okay if I walked at a four point five as fifteen minutes if I walk at a four that's, that's fifteen minute miles. Now if I did Tenedos that's hundred fifteen minutes. I started doing the math but Joe just goes. Until my dick. Yeah. Whatever it until us. Weird told me. Me off of them. I'll do it until, like he his brain is not my brain from. But there's there's fighters. Like I remember guys like I'm willing to die in them like I'm not I'm not go as soon as team in trouble, though, that town. Role that talent has, and he goes, I'm willing to die. I've never been. Have you ever have you ever heard about like the day? And this is just scratching service. I said, so what do you think about when you run hills? He goes that people are chasing me. Arabia. My family on top of the mountain and I go if some you think about I just go, like, I wanna keep tonight on fuck in to mentioned, the girls run one more mile doing, I'm like, I'm going to have a cabaret gal three more. So I can eat that egg. Yeah. I I'm usually childhood were you safe as a child or were you not who's very safe? I see I didn't feel super. We're talking about candy shit to run extra mouth. You guys time again. Fucking dude. Rape. I told someone I, I told someone I was molested. And I didn't realize I had been molested. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I was like, oh, that counted. Like that's how fucking say. It's the story was, I was running, how on. L get to deep into it. Learning running a half marathon with Jim Florentine. And I guess how many concussions do you think you had said, oh, I probably had a few, and he goes realized I want so bad. They had to wake me up every hour and feel my testicles. Here's like. And I was like, yeah, that's how bad it was like wait me up and feel my Tesco's and dick like every hour. And he was like daddy. Hey, man. I think you were molested and I was like, what here's I think you were molested I go. No, no, no. That's like they give you a physically number. They just wake you up. They get I was we were running. I laughed so hard. I was I was like, wait was I, I was molested. And we laughed so and he's like him. We've never do that. Yeah. Yeah. They definitely don't have most. Whatever cave, you can get hard, because there's a pair of sympathetic dude frontal cortex, I have. No. Like I didn't hold me back. It didn't bother me. And we laughed hysterically and I was like serious. And he was like the look on his face made me. He goes. When when you when you get a concussion, they don't have to your balls at all. Funny. But yeah, I grew up very safe. I mean, I think that's the problem with me is that, like I I'm everything they hated by white privilege. I go. Oh, yeah. Like I was saying this to you the other night, I go. I'm so shocked people care about things as much like I don't care about fucking anything. Like, like I just go all me matter. Okay. Everything. Everything. Yeah. I'll how come in I c I. I extrapolate I go well that idea gains. Hold then what happens is order breaks down. Then you have the government collapses, and you have more roving gangs. So I've got to buy guns. I go through the whole like me and Rogan will go. We'll go all the way house. Raised on safe. A little bit. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Very joe. Definitely had unsafe life camp. Yes cab, but and then the be we all comics have to be dark and have to be sad. And like I know a lot of people aren't now very funny. I'm just silly. I like giggling. So does dilly I. So do you I lived to be a silly goose? Yeah. Function, obviously anybody who's super sale. Your silliest fuck. The silliest comic alive. Ilia tog Lasse. Oh, my God knows funnier than Todd glass, you ready. I hold on going. I know what you're about to you about to read text from Todd glass. Please send the greatest things if you are lucky enough to know Todd glass, you'll get these type of texts from Todd glass. I'll read mine. First year is yours funny. You're ready. Hebert. You know, it'd be fun. If we'd just a whole show, you just have doctors and foods and presents, and it'd be better for people that, if they can't cook, wouldn't that be great. We can great tips. Maybe that's July first July second because you didn't get right back to me hope the next time you're in New York. There's another nine eleven. Two seconds later. Oh my God. I'm sorry. That was meant for my sister. He's fog last fucking grazing. Great. I get this delete me and Brennan on same texts. He's just goes my Bank account. Can't get below one point three mill LL. The bills come in, but I, I just keep making more make it. I just keep period making period. More period. Brennan, ha ha I go, Chris, and then Chris goes, you know. Also Brandon Brennan, he goes, then I just get from Chris, this positive, Chris goes, I can fuck anyone in the ass. And I go that's am noxious taxed, what and he goes, male or female, you simply can't be this respectful. He goes, you name anyone and I go me, and he goes, I can do it. I'll come at you. Like I'll drive down there and peace. You up. I box he goes, he's s. Fuck your ass. No matter what. And everybody goes ha. Oh, say something, you know, we should do. We should we do one of the funniest things ever were you on the Email when page at the improv accidentally sent a veil out to everyone at CC'd everyone now. Oh, yeah. Maybe I love page. It was Baru toll. It started off with, like it started off fun. This is gonna get shitty a little bit. But it started off fun with, like, hey guys not available to do spots. And then someone's like is everyone on those still is dead. Serious do it and then someone wrote, and then Jeff Ross wrote. Hey, this our this claw brothers on this. And then, like, yeah, when you guys do a spot, and you have to split the money. And they're like, yeah, we get paid the same as Brad Williams we get paid half. And then Brad Williams was, hey, why did I get? And then Elisa rights. Hey guys, this is really annoying. Can you guys just take me off this text and it was a storm? Our second hand it was a shit storm, I think I jumped in and part of that, but it was fucking hilarious. We should start a mass chat thread with all the comedians, we know and we have in our phone guys. It's bert. I just included everyone on this. I hope we can all have fun print a book with that. Say one everybody to have a nice day, just start with that. And here's this cash. Oh fuck. Yeah. There's always that one person like girl going. Why did you give them my phone number? Tom got a new phone number because I gave his phone number adult stage and one night you really wrong. No, he doesn't know that totally does. Now. We he knows that we knows a little bit now. I don't think this'll get them you guys can keep a secret. No one so lessening got drunk. And I called him I was doing a contract work show in Tampa. And I got drunk and I called him and it went to voicemail said all this leave a voicemail, and he goes, the number is two one and I just gave it out. I didn't realize I was so drunk so drunk you wanna hear all drunk, I was I'd never get I drink on stage. I, I do drink every now and then but for the most part, I'm stone sober on stage. You really I don't like to drink onstage, especially if I'm doing like my theater, Tora. Tora, Auckland, New Zealand, June fifteenth, Sydney. We added to show on the twentieth. The twenty second Melbourne twenty-sixth in Brisbane. We've added a show and in Perth on the twenty ninth, both those show sold out, so we added a third thirtieth. Before I have. I love it. How can love him? I should do. Oh my God. Yes. Done it. Now. Real Bess, you can I tell you want to invest place. You have been. Yes, top two in the world ever, I would even Ireland to where go ahead. I, I wish I had known that because I would have just split the money with you and done the same size venues us just co headline because I would love that I would find out, I don't have anyone great time going on. My friend myself. I would have went with you would've gone. Normally I would open for a homeowner emceed for what was there saying? Right. That what was that about to tell you the story of and I was like, went to Australia knows? And then I started doing tour dates body shots world tour. Oh group. Chat group chat phone. Oh, the drunk has ever been, yes. So. So I did done this show, if even find pictures, but Facebook, I, I do the meet and greet. I am so I'm blackout drunk. I'm blackout drunk, ended the show in the Yellen the machine, and I go, no, I'm fucking done. Awesome. I walked away. Right. I go I do the meet-and-greet on blackout drunk. I wake up in a house cities is Tampa, wake up in a house. I'm never been in my entire fucking. Oh, I get up and I'm in a bed, and I'm like, oh, my God, I'm totally naked. My clothes are on the ground that ain't gonna do the first thing I do is I look around, and I'm like I go, where's my wallet? Where's my check, like I don't have anything. I don't have my backpack. I got nothing. It's like four o'clock in the afternoon. So he's calling sick to work shows as used to do happen to Levin. I do radio drink radio. I go in. We drink for the show, it would be chaos, right? They get done it two. We'd stay at the bar and drink. I get up in this house and I, I walk out of jeans on now. And I'm like, Hello. No one's there. Hello. Never seen his house in my life. I'm walking around, and I'm like, it's a really nice house, and I'm like is anybody here? The phone rings have no kidney the phone rings. I don't answer it. I'm like fuck fuck. Grab my phone. I look at my location where I'm on my map. I have. No. I'm in like such a weird part of Tampa. I'm like show and I grew up in Tampa. My shut the fuck up I look around. There's pictures of me up. In the fucking mantle on Mike. How they fucking pictures of me like as a kid here in a super fans house, the door ovens, but parents, about a new house, and I forgot about it, and I was in their new house. My dad walks through the fucking door is like what do you think of the new house? I'd never seen it yet. I was like, oh my God, I could be kidnapped by his super fan. Yeah. That's that's. Yeah. Tampa connell. Do this call in sick to work shows anymore, dude? What's his now? That's a while. Oh, that's you put crisis credit card was stolen forty thousand jars this, right? Yeah, it sounds right? Did that happen? Yeah. I think it was Lakers tickets. So in charge. Yeah. Yeah. It's lakes, Laker tickets and I think that's the story. I know that when stolen they bought like Nacre tickets. So then they call me they tell me. Hey, this is while ago they go your credit card stolen. They've used it to buy Lakers tickets, even by these things, I said, no. And they went okay, well, we're going to just so you know, we're going to be down at the arena. We're going to rest, those people to help those tickets. And I went oh cool. Go. Hey, man. What happens to those tickets? And then, like I said, well, like obviously, no one's sitting in the seats and they're like, yeah, well, I think we're gonna just commandeer those seats, the cop said that, and I was like oh, so you guys are just going to go to the fucking Laker game. Right. You motherfucker Jimmy the tickets. Yeah. That's like when you out a plane like they're empty first class seat. Just drives me nuts. And I would also when like a mom with a baby likes to give it up. Give it to Sydney. Yeah. Are they won't do it? So weird. But it is weird when you ca sometimes once you offer something now, I guess. Publicly and everyone goes oh, just take that from him. Also also, you'd have to, like so what happens is, I know it would happen. You got an empty first class seat. And you go, we'll choose you. And then the other guy goes, why won't you choose me? What, what, what? Announcement. With a two year old wife put me on blast on that on a flight were sitting in the exit row. I'm sitting in the single-seat she's sitting in the, the one with two seats, right? But it's extra legroom and there's a seat open next to her, and I know that we know that that's available. And I'm like you have that whole row. I'll take this. We'll get the whole road to our selves. A guy walks by six six like a ball player. Right. Like a pro athlete, these white out and he sits is white. And he sits. A seat in front of my wife and his knees role cramped up and I and I just go. Hey, bro. You want the seat. And he goes, I said in the seat next to my wife's available. I we were gonna have the whole row. But you look on comfortable while you had to single-seat. I'll say this, my wife and he goes, hey, man. I really appreciate that. I, of course, he says down and my wife goes, why didn't you give it to the like the tall girl or the overweight girl? I wouldn't you give that to an and I go, and I go, what do you mean she goes because they have no value because he has value these man. And he's bigger and you couldn't even you go. And you cuck up and you're like, hey, bro. Recognize I go. Go there running because there's women on this flight. Yeah. Didn't even see the had have no fucking value to you. When I was. No good deed, goes on punted. I was like, how can we must have been a parade of fucking horizontal walking path me? Just go mega Moos. What was it? The mega was that the one from do you remember when booger opened the door and in revenge of the nerds, the omega moves? I forgive engine the nerds. You've never seen the movie. Oh, yeah. Oh, great movie because of that. I looked up putting a condom on for the first time. Yeah. Do you remember when they, you really gotta know this movie? I watch his maybe a lot, but they walk the two nerds in the ALPHA's do the alpha omega is, and they see two sheep there. And they go gentlemen. And they go like this with condoms and they rolled out. They like unrolled and they just went blink. And I went, oh, so the first time I've put on a condom I go, you gotta unroll at, like revenge of the nerds, or the way my mom rolls my FOX up because it was all rolled up. So I enrolled it thinking that on a condom I never put on him before I'm seventeen years old. I scored a slide it on when I push it over airs trapped in the side of, and as I push it just inflates. And I'm like trying to squeeze the air out of it, like, making balloon animals. And so I can ruin that condom as a first time I tried to put out a MO who who's the girl. Of course, I remember do you want hear aiding or was it a one nights dating dating? So go out to Jeff Hartley. He's in living room. We're watching pet cemetery. He's with his girl. We had to condoms. We got him in seventeen seventeen years old. We got him an Exxon on the corner. Dale Marion Erlich. So I go over shout tax on. So I over I go. Hey man, I need that. I needed other condom and he's like you already did it. And I go if long story it was. And he was like, all right. So at grab it and then words like reservoir tip. Pinson, reservoir tip make sense to me. Yeah. Rolled-over even putting it off felt good. I was like, Whoo. I thought I always felt weighing all hall. Who's the first time I've ever put on in my life? Other than the one where I made the balloon animals. So then I get on top real realtime one. Done at one pump one pump that Don, Don. He called me, so horny man she you just shut. You just shut premature ejaculation now bro. I did all through my twenties Plum, when she, like what she looked at me. Dead. Serious looks at the look on my face. And goes are you going to put it in Mr. vagina, I fucked between her, but she can the bed and came fuck. I bought a match you came, and then I had to fuck her out with a compromise on them. Here's like going on a heightened going today. Why don't you get those dry socks and shoes jump in the river, real quick? We'll go to it was. It was that you have. Dick's barely. Well at that age. Or getting up my I I mean I never fucked with the condom. Like Jackie we're never big condom where we're still not different pussies. So. Come on. Simplest bring it in my. To do that. Who? No, but five G on that. Even if I had my first game experience, I'd like bro. You're putting on a condo only do. Your do bitch move. That raw dog me too. I'm getting fucked in his gig. Oh. Role bolivia's. I was like raw dog meat. I want to be infected that was impressive. That was impressive in toxic condom. I can feel anything so I lasted forever, and it was so uncomfortable. She was dry. It was a nightmare nightmare. No, not, not a good experience. Nightmares knows dad walked in on us. Oh, no. Yeah. Really? Really? And he was drunk. I didn't realize what was going on the new ball. You got tired in closed-door tired on balls deepen your daughter, sir. What would you do? That's what you'd say. I must be terrorist went quite a bit stiff they left. She was like, oh my God. Anyway, anyway. As benjamin. As I was. He's not very romantic was not very porno ish. It was awful dry. That's a porn that I would like to see two virgins, and I'm not saying like seventeen year olds see to twenty year old virgin started out. First time I wanna see do they have virgin porn now. And I don't guy. You don't do the first time you had sex is not like let's do it on camera for you. Though, I meant to tell you, the when he talked about the pony like, like the taxi cab one British guy. I can't get any tweaks up the hot girls. Please. Thank you know, you'll have to pay for the fare, if you help me out here, I don't want to watch porn to watch four in the morning. I don't watch it. I watch porn and so long. Oh, psychopath. I know. Memory of a porn, I need to get strike jump right to the money. There's one I watched that I got obsessed with and it was called getting fucked in the ass on a mountaintop. Okay. And it was. Have you can use Google Google it on you on porno, gang fucked in the ass on the job. Yeah. Jump through the phone up. He doesn't use porno and she'll chain watches black on white guys. Guys on guys, whatever you want. What's going on in the in the ass mountaintop fucked in the ass mountaintop? Here's what all day grows pissing me off never shows the money shot at the end. It's that girl good. It's that girl was that girl. This WalMart not left to the left on their this one. Now look, first of all, there's no high up to their first of all my first thought is they really like fisa hike. What a terrifying hiked it on just getting up your great workout to hit for him to fuck me in the ass. Let me great. Wait, how bad was the hike down? How is our does this work woman working to fix this relationship, how much she paid to do this look at mile high? Hi, brian. Hey heels, she's kind of. Yeah. Well, this is fantastic. Now, this is off. Hinder date idea. Fucker asshole on the mountaintop. Look at dude, Judy hockey ready. I love doing all the boundary anxious. Where are they are they in the US? Do you think I know? So no heating their cetera Brazil. I was gonna say, I was gonna say, Switzerland. Ain't that America. Let me see what you looks like. Well, those undies are definitely from Victoria's Secret. Yeah, but they're, they're like old school Victoria, her hands or is that the? Oh, he's European flexible. You be super flexible. I can't tell the angles. We have about about those are soft head. This european. Yeah. Does anyone else? No. It's not the guys fattest. All right. All right now. Let's pause here. Let's go type in Brenda from the bar. Okay. This is the realist porn I've ever seen in my life. Wait, how's that one end this one? Provoking walked down in it. They like wealth. It's hydrate up and get on the mountain. Gotta be driven out of you. Hydrate up Brenda from the Brenda from the bar. Where is she? I'm actually kind of jersey giant erection. Never. Princess of the, the bar type in from the bar. Maybe it's not Brenda is Rhonda from the ball. No try Rhonda for our. Ron does seems to be her name metoo movement, because cats their there's Rhonda from the guys asshole right here. Oh, dear. Okay. By the way. Oh, oh, wait, wait. Hold on. Wait, wait. Hold on him. But look at, yeah. Yeah. Tell me this title is it's Wednesday. It's early Wednesday on him playing. She is. Hit hit molar deepen his ass. I want everyone to do the back story of how this started okay because, as it starts I say to myself, okay, it's a Sunday, the Sunday games were over on the east coast. Her teams played giants. It play. It's already frozen on me. So something start to play again chin. Oh my God. It's Rosie my computer. The giants already lost. You have have you seen this now. Not never seen this. I just do that out. She's. Did I nail it Bert, you nailed this so fucking brilliantly. I can't tell you. Yes. Make sure you bring that up chin, why what happened. She's in a fucking giants jersey sucking, this guy's dick. He's wearing a giants and then you go she clearly works at the bar. It Sunday, the games were over look at this. She's in a fucking giants in jersey. She's in a is that a Ron Dane, or is that a barber? I heard brains the checks and. He's such a great attitude and this like, you know that she's like this isn't love. What I do this what I got. Good. First of all, he says midwest freaks dot com. Okay. So art. Here's the thing, so ours. Here's the thing I've ever been that hard. Oh, jeez. Raring to go. Here's the thing, though. She's not really a professional. He just got off at, like bennigan's wanna make an asteroid or troughs doing a good job here. I'm a Libyan VAT, Ford says real guy. Hey, hey, look out flat his assets. He has a terrible body, but she's cats. Online notice. But that is the flattest wall. What she blowing on it for nothing worse. She's a scuttle. Great attitude. I look at her look at her. That's her jersey, her sues managerial, you'll real giant yet, now she, that's somebody stood up. How look at the lightning doesn't even match up. Where are they writing back there who semi real is the she's got three tattoos on her fucking faith? Yeah. Oh, I just noticed that face tat. She needs to pay the bills. Yeah. Because she's not hot but Brian's turned on. And here's how you know it's homemade. He has Haines underwear on Hanes logo is in the hook shot pains hates, like God bless his hand behind his back. I guess for the Campbell. He does idea what he's doing fast forward. It chin. Go to the see when she starts eating his ass. Don't approve of any of this. They're here we go. Doc, go. Giants look at his tattoo Corinthians. Wow. And a hairy chest. Thanks froze on me. Again. I think we got the idea yet a girl like your ass. Yeah. Yeah. Right. All right. Yeah. There goes my computer. I'll do this is. Well, you guys have the whiskey don't act like you, Paul. How dare you? All right. Enough what the fuck. Here's the problem with my wife is that if I went to ask question was my wife's asked. She'd be like, hey, you can't eat my ass. And then eat my pussy, I'm gonna get sick. Legit tournament. But that's your wife. Yeah, no, but I appreciate that. You're in you guys still have eaten rattling along the she's that's my wife is like we did reverse calgor-. I this one of my specials diverse Calgary one time. She's like, what is it? I was like you don't even know what it is like no me today. I'll do it. And I was like, well, you turn around and say, hey, football, and I was like, yeah. Say must be pretty has I feel disconnected. Like, what are you looking at my asshole? I go. Yeah. We normally don't talk like this. Well, like now I'm out out. He clinic. Playing ignorant. Hold your ankles note, reverse cowgirl is first of all. Yeah. Porno together guys. Yeah. Do that's the way I used to watch it. And like ninth grade news song. Fifty two years. Iraq that will be in accomplishment. The thing is that thing was more sad than anything. It's just like a regular Dal's just got off. Giants loss sh-. Well, she's molars deeper, some guys past when I see a tattoo like that on the face. I do too. And I think to myself, you're hyper sexual as well and you're replacing babysitter. Right. So I it's a the backstory's of Bornes. Do you ever see a woman in a car like a certain car, and she's got that, that dice hanging from the rear view? She's got that. She's got that she got the fake nails. Nothing got windows. How'd you like you have you dancing a poll for a living? One hundred percent. And I really appreciate that. And I do I pull up. Roll my window crumbled cash and throw it and go. I love him. Here's for nursing school. Get lot it. Good. That's cash. Yeah, dude if I been for every stripper I fell in love with. Yep. So many at DAV David you still go heat I get a hand gun in a while. I went with breaders one time. Right. We're both in Fort Lauderdale, and he's like, yo. We're gonna go out. We're gonna party we go out and party. But it's kinda lame because let's just go to strip club. So go to the strip club scroll comes by. She goes you guys want. Oh my God. You're conqueror, and I was like, oh yeah, because my kid loves your show on cool. And she was like you might have. I got a picture. And I was like I don't mind she's all right? I'll be right back. She goes and gets dressed. And I guess, backstage tells all the girls or congress out all the girls. Get dressed and I take pictures out the front earns is like do you fucking worse to be with at a strip club? They all your fucking brassed. So I'm the strip club since except for. Of was the one giving her the one in Cleveland by the old, improv it was called strip clubs, God, it was Steinman such a prude. It was so intense I had to like shut it down. Hey, man. Hey, hey, be cool last morning, BA cool. We went to his club. Up playing all like I'm like, I don't go to strip clubs either. I don't know. He's like, hey, bro. Don't fuck around who'll man we went to strip club in last morning in Norway. No. Stock won't know what I was one of those one of the last cities we did in Scandinavia how long ago this is a couple of weeks ago. Hell you me, and Mark Normand. And so we go to we go to one and, and it's it's called it's called Waterloo. So we go over to the guy, and we like, hey, we're gonna to get this is place funding because. Yeah, but you guys need cash. We don't take credit cards at all even for getting answer. We. All right. Where's the Bank machine, you knew this though? Yeah. Thought they had a Bank machine aside every trip and he goes, we don't you gotta go around the corner. So get around the corner, and we see another place called secrets or whatever. So Marco's we should check out that already so close to it. And it's starting to rain, so we're with our tour manager, my cameraman Mark Norman so we get money go to secrets, and we go. Hey guys, is it fun in there? And he goes. Yeah. But I mean may may not be the right place for you guys. I'm more like do. They do full nudity as full nude said, do you guys serve alcohol and he goes, yeah, I'm gonna okay? China surpri. Surpri, and he goes, well, listen, guys are girls are looking for, like more of a commitment and play. And we're like he's like, you know, the kind of grows they want to take it out. Stairs in. Like be with you. You bring does. Thank god. I don't have to look at the touch to all we heard was commitment, and we couldn't stop laughing at, like so he'd be like big good. I'll take stairs in, like, hey, let's catch up on game of thrones. Like, hey, we should adopt a dog together. Like we love laughing and the guys like you know what? I mean. Come on, and we're like no. We don't want commitment. Hey Mark, no women Newark comic. Yeah. Yeah. Back your fucking guy in the road. He took me, I would took him with them seeing broke him. Good. He he went to go party. Counted. Men. Counted man. He went to party in I've no idea. You guys were. Oh, yeah. I just been jerking them off for the last two week. Oh, he's the best next because I have him on the buckets, that guys it open fucking book. He's so funny stories that are fucking blow your mind holiday thirty five. I don't know. I don't know twenty something. He's a New York guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd known him, I'd met him with through Amy Schumer longtime ago in Portland. And I just known him. And I knew he partied, and I was like, oh, let's to Europe together, and I just see. No, I go pretty hard on the road, and he was like, oh, yeah, I got you second day. And he was like, I'm fucking Daphne. He was like I broke him quick. Did he sell fucking funny? He's hilarious man. Because I discovered him I knew of them, but I just gave them because I was doing I was time on Monday, but I was doing pressing Cleveland. And he has his epic press food. You've seen that, that dude, have you seen my host. That is the funniest best after here. I'll show you that fucking funny man being around him makes you funnier. Right. So like, because he's a joke guy. So he's silly. He likes to giggle professional them. And so I came up with this, that was going to post this on Instagram, but it made Mark, and I laugh at my wife didn't get the joke. She says. This is Amy Schumer presents Mark Norman, she did his special it was weird. When comics do that. Right. A little weird. Why she's did he used to open for us on? He did this is what I was going to tweet this. I was going to tweet this tell me it may Mark, and I laugh. Expression was gonna Marlee Matlin. She can't speak anyway. She can't. I don't know if she's, she's a deaf actress who's in children of a lesser, God. I was gonna muter. Oh my God made us laugh, so. I was going to tweet it out. And Mark, and I were dying Buchan napping, she's very political, and I was like. You see headline shows himself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's on tour. He's a beat. I was trying to get him to go to Australia with. Maybe it's like I can't do it man. I you like. And like he was like going solo go solo work gonna open for. Yeah. Yeah. Low COMEX and then have to go with somebody, I it's it, it becomes extremely expensive, though. It's so expensive. You've got to fly them out. You got to put them up and you got to pay them. Why brought China and bring an opening night, cold open. All my shows those theaters, you're just walked up there yourself and started it in this in the salad starts crash. She and would announce go. All right, every because he's, you know, he's not entertaining would get on the go. I don't think that's how he talks. Have you listened per that would have been better because what he did was go laze in gem in the moment? You've been waiting for from five in the kid and Showtime, portraying together. He's my boss. Brendan shaab. Great back. Right. Spec. Well, no that that's no joke. A cold open for like the first year really hadn't been anyone. Yeah. I all odds against my figures. It's like the worst case in reset to a lot of people. Krista stuff. No, I reach out to I was like I love him to Chris. Definitely have you no mediums to meet up in New York. I feel like me and him are lost dude brothers. He is. He. Oh. Cking loved. You said he's a podcast. Hang out with him with dove. Good, friends and stuff. He's great great guy. He was suppose connected in New York. We're going trading EM's. He keeps calling me babe, and it was a little weird. So I didn't do meet up with us. Let me tell you something guy. He's the guy he's still funny. Pat him on something's burning. I went out and did a bunch episodes, something Vernon in New York ahim. He had me dying, because you don't do the fucking pussy thing, dob, bro. He's guy. He's, he's great. I hang hung with times with. He's funny. I loved them run away. I go who is this guy? He's, he's a great guy him and Mark, I want to get a house. The guys that I wish would I wish we York, New York fucking comic said just? Best to he came on my podcast and it was so out of the fucking gate is like I got words who gives a five text you once I saw as a hazy good do I love you? He is. So goddamn funny. Yeah. He's all those guys. There's a lot of guys yawn. Janas Janas, poppy pompous Andrew Schultz to show on your show. He's, he's a bee's knees. I, I love the way he's running this business. I think it's the same I think he's got the same mentality us LA comics ours, like yo but in New York, which it's harder in New York because everything's more expensive. If you wanna shoot me everything's more expensive, but also in New York. It's to me, I feel like it's not as a welcoming community. It's more doggy dog well year. Yeah. Like their heart some assholes in the game a great comics. But in general, we kind of help each other out, I feel on each other shows by circle jerks. I, I sat in who you hadn't cast Steph dude. Call them right now. Call him up. Call pilots fucking up. Dude wants bark coming out here. Call them the biggest crush on him. Bring back up that point that guy balls deepen the other guy. Just getting jump. Wait, why, why, why what happened? Yeah. He's seen cats face. Have you met Chris? No never met him. Wish was to meet up in New York when his press, but he kept calling me babe through tax. Right. Well. That's just a New York thing. Who's here we go. Here we go. Let's call them to his so fucking funny, and he's just real as fuck, like, that's my love any kids. Yeah. He's got a daughter is she? All right. Here we go. Here's a real question does he answer? When it comes from users. He's gotta fuck it boy voicemail. He's going to answer. He's around. He might be working. What time is it there? Now. It's four o'clock. They're doing. It's five o'clock. Try on a train on the subway. Okay. Subway, bro. Yeah. They don't get service via picks up the phone you what the fuck you want. The current member. All right. Let me go to the bathroom. P to. Let's take a break. This podcast is brought to you by the one, the only the best CBD oil on planet earth organic camp oil. I'm talking non GMO. The only third party tested, pure fine. Organic camp certified the best pure CBO on the planet. It's pure spectrum. CBD oil, good appear spectrum CBD dot com. Promo code is Shaab. Save ten percent off the entire website. You guys know for me, how important is for my family, especially my son, who's having issues. CBD oil saved my son's life. I take every day is the most important supplement I've ever put in my body. My son takes it every morning, every night, one hundred percent organic third-party tested its percent guaranteed. What we tell you is in the bottle THC free. You're not going to get high. It's the best thing you put in your body, pure spectrum CBD dot. Dot com promo code shop. Save ten percent off, get you some. Chris. Hey, I'm sitting here fighter in the kid you next time you come L A you have to do the show. Brennan Brian right now you're on the air. Right. You're on the air. You're on the air. You're on the air. What's up, bro? We're talking about how funny you are. I I'm going to bring my kid out pedialyte ice off right now. She's got a sore throat. Chris, why you heard you were texting with Brennan, and you're referring to him as babe. I call out, I call guys Dave attracted to, but I have to push down the Gehlot, because my father still alive. Just come straight out there, but I'm definitely bearing fficials sexually attracted to Brendan not openly gay yet. I'm pushing it down. So I got big tries, but I do call David just leaked down on the bed. Is there very good answer? Now, let me ask you this busy ties come out now yell. You're thick, you're thick alpha type strong kid. Now, when you're, you're gay obviously, you're attracted de wanna fuck Brennan or get fucked by Brennan. I, I think what McLeans four Brandon, I'd like to actually get sparked by because I wanna feel my kind of like that, that prowess, you know, I'd like to be kind of like his subject for night. Brian, I I'll hold you down and fuck. You. Here is. Is there any chemical concoction that can expect? But I these matters like if you had a drinker. Pinot. Claritin date. Give me give me the guys. Nobody. I think any white wine and antihistamines, then I'll do it will be a power bottom. You could tell them my aunt. The best part this having on. Paul. He's in a Rite Aid going. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Clarity degrees. You can come half. He's in the fuck in there during the I'll next I'm gonna get the Claritin, d. Catch on Grindr, and you want to meet you, in the allergy section of ruining, you know what's going on? I instead, Chris got come on. Get first of all, congrats on your hair. Congrats on your big blue eyes and you're strong, jaw. I've said that to you in person, and you got you and you've got some shoulders on you. So at the end of the day, it hurts me that you can hold me down. But I agree. No for sure I love. I love to come on. You know, just whenever you guards one defending our because I probably disappointed my life. Does my dad does have lakes inside? You know, he's kind of just on the Cup of time. So I can't shop by Kevin didn't have the jerk off the tee times by we'll fuck branded on air. That's, that's the kind of attitude we're looking for you. Young man. Go get it right there. Love you, man. All right. I'll talk to you later about it. You'd like with can. Bills are we're back. And we're back. White male. That is so fucking funny dude by agrees. You gotta Claritin, d he kills me do this, so many of those guys in New York that are fucking hilarious right now at him. Dylan's moving out here. He's fucking moving out here. He's moving down here. Yeah, I won't. We did that we did episodes of something's burning in New York with Ted of them and dude every fucking episode. I was dying fucking laughing, so we had Mark Norman opens up for him because just fucking talking about and so create. He's, he's amazing. He's a great comic. He makes you it makes a fun be a comic. I can't get like like do obviously, I love Burr. But like Burs brain is so like dialed in that when you hang out with them, you come out a little heavy, sometimes really. Yeah. Fuck a tent. But, but, like Morgan is just always, like, what about this for a joke? Like I came up with joke. I haven't really figured it out yet. But I go, I took we took showers and I said in, in our own our rooms and we got down with him. It was the curtain like touching you and he goes. Yeah. It happened to me, too. I said the whole time I felt like a ghost was molesting and Marco's awesome base you work on that near like, Elia you. Forget your comic God damn it. I gotta work on that, like, and so he was he's great tour with and really talented now. You, you're going via podcasts t burn right now. Steve burns, got a movie, call voice amazing. Did you the trailer fish? I saw the movie amazing jostle to move to. I do that guy. Wait. No mazing play the trailer do this work. And they get this movie on all things comedy. I think right now okay. Dave, thanks comedies. Just burns thing called the amazing. It's all it's about the amazing Jonathan Jonathan dude. Yes you see there there's a Twitter. There's trailers that I tweeted that, right? There is lots of this is really always amazing. How the fuck this only have seventy two thousand like. It's pretty wild man. He was such a performance. Never heard them before this. I had heard of him but I just didn't know. Tomorrow night. So I wanted to we'd be to you how how much I fucking. Joe thoroughly entertaining and brilliant. It is to make this one thing calling the funnel. And if it does you'll win. The my soap funny. Comedy. Our? No. We don't know how a war sizzle real long hat is amazing Jonathan was fucking. He was hilarious to do my, my first TV show, and he would murder or murder he'd chew raise your. The movie I thought it was the trail is he still alive? So he was like this. In this case, you'll real needs and yeah he used his legs. What happened? Is it a trade? He had drugs in and he had congestive heart failure, and then you got stem cell and it fixed his heart but I guess. Yeah. He has trouble now. Yeah. See partied, hard bed at heart. Lost the use of his legs. But, but I heard good things harder, but he's your marathons. Yeah. We'll sell it to the mazing Jonathan I know. Yeah, you'd go and dude. No, I could do this podcast forever every time I love this. That's not have so much fucking fun. I said to go. As we were going to the bathroom. I- gos- based in. He goes, he's the best. Oh, I want that to be my ringtone, especially in that, that the bet. The best that we had some whisky Brian was too good for it. I had Ryan judge just for the. Yeah. Knows that we like I thought it was very strange pappy van winkle, you know. Yeah. So really Steve over at scupper wants to give us do it real tasting with us, the bottle, bro. No, he wants to do it together, three thousand dollars chestnut just other place. Oh, dude, you can buy what I bet you could squeeze you in the tasting, your, your whiskey guy. Yeah. I'm a I'm a boost. Got w. Remind us in that not private Speakeasy with births at scope up one hundred and presented shake. What? Wait, why are we going to cocaine ovo switchblade? What did you to do that? Because I can set it up one hundred percent. Okay. Yeah. I leave for volleyball. They've got really rare whiskies really wet like there's a back room. There's a there's a Speakeasy and scope. It's a secret. You'll it's never happening. Right. So he leaves fall from Bali. On Friday, and then I'm in Australia for two. When you come back when July for some Brian plenty of counter, we'll do. I do it in a heartbeat. That'd be fun. Van winkle. I never tried it. We could taste it, and then make sure it's not poisoning anytime back and you and I and we'll talk to you about pappy van wrinkles. Yeah. That's the tour dates, I'm an alternate Zealand June fifteenth, Sydney on the twentieth, added a second show. Melbourne on the twenty second on the twenty six then Brisbane moved out of the second show. I'm on, I'm at the met in Philly also show into those Rosewall. I'm in the met in Philly so follow July twenty seventh. Come see me this weekend, Indiana, helium, Indiana, please get. Tickets, please by those, she would say Indy. I beg you seven. Thank you. What? Sally. Well, actually, I found out who you're not home and do you saw it? He's not anytime. We are we sold that we sold ten seventeen tickets. Seventeen tickets. Hi just kidding to actually do. Well, I was worried for a little bit, but no, but so have you ever had even called? Have you ever called a you wouldn't? Do a fun game. Before we leave thing, you've ever done this. Let's go K. The call the Indianapolis club and see what they say about you. When we ask Indianapolis helium. Yeah. Okay. This is a Vegas. Upbeat bond come see me in Tempe, tally of there's this weekend in twenty this weekend. But this week. Party's extension. Now, you remember available beginning at income on Friday, and that on the on time. Glance call him back. Hours. Early hours five time. They're not. They're not answer, your dad. I want to hear these kids. Hello. Hey, good. How you doing? I'm doing a podcast you're on the podcast. Oh, great. Yeah. Brian Cowen Brennan job. Right. Thanks. Thanks. Stories about you today about the conversation. We had at the beach house when a when I told you about each it cash checks and you got emotional. I never get him most. Is my dad? I talked about the letter you sent me today, about true health wealth. Next next time, I'll put personal confidential, okay? All right. Well, we're wrapping on the podcasts. I'm head. No. I'll give you a calling card nice meeting. You guys take care of the day. Bye bye. Well. Well, I, I call clubs about myself all the time to see how they sell me a really not want. On the day, call the club and go hey who do you have this weekend? And they go, I don't fucking know. And you're like we'll. We'll see maybe look it up, and they're like Brent crystals. And you're like is he and you're like I don't know. Man. And then you go who's next week there, go Joe Koi? He is fucking amazing. Damn it. I did it with Joe one it have you done helium in Annapolis? No indeed. No, if it's new club. Yeah, you're not just out at all dot come. See me and Tempe, June twenty twenty one twenty two Tempe, improv I'm excited on Burbank, this Saturday, Rappaport, Fahim Asana with me. That's one giant show. That's Saturday night. I'm in Vegas with Brian. There are fifty tickets left at the Orleans in Calgary Yuk yuks June twenty th through the twenty second Nafe that I'm in brea the new brea, brea, June twenty seven to twenty ninth. Get your tickets K dot com birth we love you, man. I love you guys. Thank you so much. This is the fighter the kid in the machine, we're out.

Brian Joe Rogan Elliott Gould New York Showtime Burt Tom John Mike Epps Sarah Silverman Bert Kate Spade Gary Valentine CBS Vegas president Larry David Barbara Streisand Bill Burr
ACS (Part 1): Phil LaMarr

The Adam Carolla Show

1:08:43 hr | 11 months ago

ACS (Part 1): Phil LaMarr

"Thanks for listening to the Adam Corolla show on podcast one well it is the funny show we have for you guys today and I'm not just throwing that around Phil Lamar comes in here and just crushes it and Gina Grad knocks it out of the ballpark they can help you as well. Jd Power has ranked quicken loans highest in customer satisfaction for primary mortgage under licensed in all fifty states consumer access dot Org number thirty thirty rocket mortgage by quicken loans push-button get mortgage from Corolla One studios in Glendale California this is the Adam Corolla show Adams guests you can get exactly what you need they've helped millions of Americans achieve their dream of home ownership when you're ready to purchase your home and the home of your dreams Terry fabrics that perform like nothing you've ever worn before no wedgie guarantee comfortable stay put waistbands luxurious soft feather light now there's twelve hundred retail locations across the country including Nordstrom's and it's all nationwide so give three fs and upgrade your underwear with Tommy John Moisture Wyking breathable fabrics designed to move with you know bunching or riding up if you don't love your first pair you get the full refund best pairs grabbed my phone and I was sitting at a I met up with a friend Jeff Katz from high school and we met up in word of that you probably like very much then I have a sort of thought I was talking to mark yes earlier in the day support for the role of podcast comes from our friends at rocket mortgage by quicken loans imagine how it feels to have an award winning team by your side Hey Phil Lamar with Gina Grad on news bald Bryan on sound effects and Dave damage here we're good sports and now got to get an on no choice begin on a man on man thanks for tuning in and thanks for telling the Fran and I had some thoughts it'll be based on the Kimmel Mash up as well one thing I keep forgetting to bring up Max Pata is you gotta you'll ever wear it's free guarantee I'm wearing my now I wear them every day the best once you switch to Tommy John you don't go back and you can by the way get them retail nut through every step of the mortgage process that's exactly what you get with rocket mortgage by quicken loans rocket mortgage does more to help you understand the home buying process tation nine years in a row and highest in mortgage servicing six years ago when you work with them you get more than just alone because Utah Utah he's called in and they Right and we side to have a beer and I told Matt find a sports bar second mortgage is more than just the lender right Dawson get started online rocketmortgage dot com slash Adam for jd power award information visit JD power dot com equal housing nearby and we can meet and watch a little college football and have a beer I don't know if I forgot maybe I did or didn't tell you there's many it's like the wildfires his anger is only partially contained Adam Corolla the act it on on no adjustment needed right Dawson Hurry to Tommy John Dot com slash Adam for twenty percent off your first order the Tummy Dot com slash Adam for twenty percent off Tommy John Dot com slash a thing I did not know about is in Utah No such thing as a double so if you order like let's say this the mixed drink or whatever when I do have the beer or the mixed drink I go high octane sure because I'm gonNA drink hops and good news and bad news health care physicians ever since I found out like Vinnie towards like don't have the beer don't have is aren't so everything and so every ever since so I have taken to hard to find like I look I'm I'm traveling just Gimme high-octane beer you have and do the track yeah also weird alcohol rules in Utah One is nothing above a four point Oh I think we're talking about coming out of tap Oh yeah at some point I said to the Sports Bar lady again hearing Vinnie's head Vince Voice Echo my head I said give me it doesn't like Budweiser other companies make specific beers for the Utah market there's nothing bef- There's nothing over for four point Oh is a light ish beer winkler bloody Mary Bloody Marys got a lot of stuff going on in a little bit of Outgun I wrong flavors I will tend to make it a double because I don't want to that's a lot and I ended up getting a vodka soda full of people marrying multiple women I now triples in Matrimony Department but not so oh and like November right in time for the holidays yes so if you'd like something higher than a four point Oh seasonal laws you mustn't get a cat arbitrary the arbitrariness of it all is so I got a double Ip was nine point two but if it couldn't come out of the TAP that's up to four the Philip the top of the glass I wish I'd known that the poor little grabby ahead on that twelve ounce beer it's also again I don't know what year is it what ah alcohol beer which means all the carbs none of the buzz how they market it they step up to a five point ah just going to have to order three now or whatever it is just joined the rest of America whatever year it is and the rest of America there's nothing better than a great brew on Hap- ESPEC- you a Martini and she said okay but you're not gonna like it too love her when she told you in advance you're not gonNA for some country concert that was going to be played at the at the stadium at the at the arena next to us and there's a whole bunch of middle aged checks they can't use more than an ounce or whatever you can get the with the teeny and Martini I'm not a Hummingbird I'm a heavyweight he turned it down and then ten minutes later it would go back up again and at some point I took a picture because there were like there were playing really when you're going to a place that has the cold cops and the pints and all that kind of stuff ski lodging and I'm opening bottles at the table because of some weird thing that makes no do the move and I don't know where I'm at with this but I say to the to the waiter or the waitress our waitress that go could you turn the music down I love that about you good day Gina great handball Brian Fire Fire got a Kimmel Mash up to play that you guys to the third time or hey could you bring the music down and you go yeah okay and then over the course of being there for ninety minutes I asked three times could you bring them in some point something needs to wash over you where you go like Oh shit I feel stupid like why is every you know many times I've talked to people going around with your underpants half pay down or something it's just it's unsatisfying do you feel obligated due to poor when a little more aggressively a little more head there's a sitting in there and the music is pumping right and there's nobody in there when I walk in and I twenty something forty something checks all screaming at each other because the music wouldn't wouldn't lower it like they would lower it and then either would automatically want us to go at the Hartselle right afterwards and she's like we can't use enough alcohol to make them are cut up early on we'll be drinking a different taste wine right no devils do not do doubles bloody Marys and well I don't want to drink too bloody Marys on a little bit like it is so loud that you and your old high school buddy or having difficult shout difficulty having a conversation Max Pat I recorded like five twenty chicks in there so there was Chesney was in town yeah it was basically that it was me and my old buddy from high school and then twenty age twenty Dan very unsatisfying when they give you the pint glass and the canned comes up ancient a quarter from the top twelve ounce cans six feels like you're walking you're hunters that right and the other thing similar to that always vexes me about sports specifically is like you should know your trade if I go into a sports bar because I want to watch the and has a different yeah so she's kind of like you're not going to and then I just thought what the Hell you talk him on straight Gin Anyway Watch not highlights from previous weeks off soccer game put stupid national championship game on they don't why why do you open that bar trumping others frequently and when I say frequently I mean all the fucking time Mike August has to ask the person would you put the game on that inevitably you're going with Mike August Alabama's playing Syracuse and they have women's soft song it's a combination between softball and Soccer Charlie I'm going to go versus three as we had the helpful list remember the big compiled the beers there were high in alcohol and low in carbs. Give me the Bob the bottle that's underneath that thing that's a little less satisfying and I'll get up okay three of those it anyway so we're sitting in their twelve martinis go back so when you do something are living and somebody says hey can I have some catch up and then by the time they get gonNa do it if we have five TV sets we'll have the best football game down to the fifth in order and it may fluctuate around for bigger smallest or most prominent yeah they ask tax may be playing soft soccer which you figure it out I mean again it's they have sometimes it's the Riana music sports bars aren't sports fanatics guys figured out a good format money and I definitely know the chicks who worked there have little to no interest for six of those I see him Oh yeah I think it's maybe the last one or the second the last two or whatever I had to keep so she'd go okay I'll get that and then about multiple things the exact same thing and every time it's a brand new thing where they go oh you went music down yes remember thing I was talking about nineteen minutes ago I wanted again that this is your trade you should know this also like on the you know they have ten TV sets and so you whatever or maybe one games really tight and going into overtime or something that's switch it over on the cruise they switched over game that was overtime so it's another game half the if you take twenty random people and put them in a place and they're the only twenty people in what's not like people are lying dancing in the next room there's nothing going on the remote is and again not sure if they're allowed to touch the remote many things I think you would get into on a daily basis why all of a surprise that's not enough a ball there's three TV's Sunday football on one world series on the other and infomercial for dental implants undeterred TV. Brian Something for Tame Hake you turn on PAC twelve networks or can you turn on whatever I want to see this game and it's always a series of remote yeah it's all surprised I don't want to be a one up but I was I was on a bar on Sunday at a for a an open mic getting ready for lots of Brian and it was it was it was Sunday night so like no under no conditions this is a sports bar your home is by the way you have pictures of teams on the outside and pictures of chicks kicking a softball out all the little stations couldn't really afford us or we didn't live in their town somebody is going to have to have basically a Saturday Sunday newsletter that goes here's I hear the ones sitting in there all day do you watch soft soccer probably not even are aware it probably changes over at some point from a football game our number two of the their impulse but anyway I asked her to turn it down three times in the time I was there now it may have been some sort of automated jukebox another giant lack of communication between employees somebody goes in and turns it down ten minutes later hey this seems low and another waiter turns back up ten minutes later she goes oh man that guy wanted chicks kicking around the softball and you're like would you how about you put the Alabama game on and they go ha now you're gonNA watch a nineteen year olds kick a softball just we can't have a conversation because the music too loud most people won't get up and ask them to turn it down I don't know why that's not there support on and the people they hire have no idea what's going on with sports or music or anything else and they're caught off guard and they don't I think people are getting dumber and Duller or something sensitized for sure if we pump this music it'll sound like a party like when we used to do radio do Mr Burcham and Jimmy would do Jimmy the sports guy than we would syndicate it we'd go over to premier radio we'd lay it down and we'd spread it the station direct TV then switch it over to the saints game at Three PM Eastern whatever it is because their loss as to what I was holding my phone in the air above my head and he thought I had some magical APP that I could control the music and I'm like I'm not doing just recording so you can you can play with it thing that went back up on its own I have a theory about possible but you still work there I think you may turn it back down again I think that's being aggressively beaten by that I there's probably something because I do remember when we were all in an airport and there were pumping chick music sounded like if kind of what I like which is the shift advise me there's golf or soccer Emma God knows what it's like Oh that's on only James Up for you I am saying if I open a sports bar and it's a Saturday or Sunday here's how we're Dan and I told the guy could you just turn it down or switch to jazz or knew something and he said we're not allowed like we have to play Gio corporate in order to leave the I don't know what the science says I think it's people just trying to create a sort of a lively ask something and that person's in charge of tipping you heading beyond but anyway it seems a little contrary to the alcohol rule it seems like everything should Nisa doesn't really exist feels like trying to synthesize action like when I walked in there the place was empty that was pumping and it's like it's going we're going turns it down then somebody goes hey somebody with music on and it's just a lack of communication issue do you have any of those any of those entries here's one somebody is going to have to be a consultant somebody is going to have to they're going to have to send somebody the club Meghan Yeah so there was just a lot of that and it's I don't know I just feel like the third time somebody a hell song see if you can recognize one anyway we'll get ready with the Kimmel Mash up which works perfectly we're still scrubbing thermo yoga recordings I know it could pour trying to have a conversation with pork jeff at keep stopping and going after and then I was oh good acoustically frank it up it just bounces off of everything all the hard surfaces all the table tops able center they are helping arms there is no etiquette at a sports bar they don't know what music to play they don't know what volume play at they don't know what games to put on they don't know what okay anyway Kimmel sought he did a mash up of Obama on me but evidently doesn't affect other people the same way too loud and you can't talk then you're forced to buy more alcohol and drink bridesmaid there was deep science behind this well I couldn't wrap it up fast enough because I couldn't hear what the guy across the table was saying it was pay fast ratings than Obama announcing bin Laden staff and Daddy's death with trump games today and the music the music was just pulsating and all the chicks were yelling over it's funny first you say knock knock may permit firefighters they killed Osama bin Laden and took custody of his body he died nation that killed Osama bin Laden Boo Car Albert Daddy is dead the United States launched a targeted operate that's music in the background that would remove because no one victory Thunderdome Midway Schick sitting there rob and I'm writing a book twelve ah I would go straight to liberating there would be no way I'd be able to hear anything with those acoustics all right but again three times told deterrent down assery all right let let me look now I didn't plan on taking a deep dive but I'm assuming guys who opened invented the sport why are you showing lame sports your sports are put the Goddamn for the biggest game countries on why is that on and then when I ask you your surprise and when Obama went on TV to announce they'd killed bin Laden he spoke for nine and a half minutes trump yesterday did forty eight minutes on this and for further compound in whatever it is and there weren't even pulling it wasn't like they were playing aber hard drive of cranking up the jam this place has acoustically it's a slab floor with TV monitors everywhere it's a little more mellow if you more than four percent then you can't have it for for details Brian's about say overcompensation they're overcompensating you're not sure where the remote is and you're not you're you're allowed to do it like that thing like a keep turn the music down dot Com me watching San Diego state the thing where when you have this idea you think the rhythm but this is going to be funny but sometimes you can do it and it just kind of let back and it's not so much the words although the words help and sometimes make all the difference but there's just eight rhythm and it's a kind of ration- and I don't get any credit for this but that's okay I never do you'll be God bless you and may God bless the United States because well lots of Mirth I will tell you about Tommy John Tommy John they don't give an f three fs baby fabric fit and function proprietor. I'd like to dog is not mark the end of our effort beautiful dog give thanks for the men who carried out the there's a song we recognize there's a song recognized that they were that there were cranking up just made me laugh and we thought it might be fun to match up trump's speech about Al Baghdadi with Obama's about Bin Laden and we write it was the United States has conducted Shen against that compound they did a lot of shooting outta blasting even not going through the front door you know you think you go through the door if you're a normal have a a sociological psychological question about that and trump in styles and I just took a deep dive with the GARRIGA's about it so basically what they can't do from Alcohol Standards Ronnie gives you buzz by audio you WanNa play the first one or the second one let's see if there's one more the right there could there be any scientific thing as to the somebody did a study one time and they figured out that people spend more money when it being better than what you'd some expected when you were trying when when it hit the rider's head so super funny and then I had traffic it's not really a mash up just sort of a contrasting style time to very great statesman right yeah here it is Internet stop it tire it's funny and it also shows that comedy has an element to it that is rigged the more I keep telling these bike mutilates people trying to join the conversation could you turn the fucking music down I want on the sandwich and you take a bite you go okay it doesn't come together right before any feelings this is an example of offers like no you're not you're onto something because like the random passer-by who's like maybe in for a drink maybe not or at lunch or whatever they hear that pulsating music that place is going off it's a little flat like I always talk about like a stew with all your favorite ingredients of this is going to be the best like anyone who's ever done any cooking goes I put all this dump from an audio standpoint challenge have recognized soggy and it's all kind of all you hear is when will come coughing also intern I'm curious to get your take there was also funny thing as far as Al Baghdadi and his death that some memes that Gary was telling me about which is the Washington Post Headline was Alba Daddy austere religious scholar. Okay Tina Yeah every between eighth and tenth one holds one but I'm faking it so what does it matter on last night that made me laugh as well and if you ever WanNa know like when people go you know rush limbaugh Tucker and Hannity I don't know why I don't know why that's I they don't want to give trump credit for killing a killer but my thing is like give them credit and then I'll believe the next it but I'm not sure because she never holds the Oregon Orgasm back anyone listening I'm telling you you go I was watching eighteen horrible things you say about trump I will tend to believe like go just a genie you fake orgasms every once in a while famous songwriter and meditation leader dead at Eighty Three so timothy McVeigh McVeigh fertilizer deliveryman all around hang up guys the drug overdose now they've crossed we had so Tucker Carlson had a few of the no but I mean this is about the human condition if you fake orgasms and gene let's just say you have a sister that fakes Orgasm Tina does it all the didn't post you go trump did the right thing this menace is dead and then I go okay and then when you come out with whatever your anti-trump stuff then I ten because all stop believing oh you see what I'm saying every once in a while do something that's a little disagreeable or not what what it would be pattern so why ever doing it using the Hash Tag Wasco death notices Oh yeah so one was a Jeffrey Dahmer Connoisseur of exotic and locally sourced me have you hold back about every ninth or tenth one a guy will believe you in perpetuity you put together fifteen hundred unbroken streets of orgasms he's GonNa Start Tucker is not those guys she has a sense he has a sense of humor he likes to screw around so I'll play you his his one that was along the same line question okay anyway great lover yes there's so there's there were some I don't know memes or whatever they were in four that's good Joseph Stalin advocate of a strong working class in population control guys at seventy four Charles Manson that's what we just heard sorry that's one for the scrapbook you can follow with other memorable headlines history goal oriented German hold on you gotta you gotTa give it we'll head Abu Bakar al-Baghdadi austere religious scholar to hell with Islamic state dies it forty-eight let's scrap book he can file with other memorable headlines History and she had that lady who got her face chewed off monkey and I can't get it out of my head was on the classics the classics goal oriented German leader with Distinctive Moustache found dead in bunker Joseph Stalin former seminarian and movie buff dies peacefully seventy four Osama bin Laden the five killed in home invasion invasion all right so I was talking to Garriga's about I believe she's spinning everything this way now makes me wonder about whatever's going on in Ukraine or whatever you're saying it's doing next which may be true arrogance disagrees with probably many trump policies and I think I do is well like I don't know I hear sanctions that and I was playing in the mash up with Jimmy and I was trying to figure out GARRIGA's is yeah give it we'll give it to head if you got it give the parody let award goes to the Washington Post tonight here's that paper chose to announce Baghdad he's dead so many who are those are bothered on that level not that they disagree with him but they're upset by him versus Mark Geragos who disagrees with him but it's not upset by him he he would look at this news conference intend to laugh versus get upset by Dan. You need my oprah so anyway we'll get it next yes sure I'm telling you liked Bill Maher's bothered on a personal level by my dad is I talk to people who start arms start moving around and yelling he's taken I think about like guys like my dad in a way they are Kinda my mom they're thin skinned people in the very upset by now garages is a guy was famous not good in China or whatever but he doesn't bother me on a cosmic level like bothers a lot of people he doesn't anger me on a personal level salie banned from his own hotel any lack of laughed he'd never it amused him to no end that somebody said he was like their father and on a level and I'm not bothered on that level so in either asparagus and I've tried to kind of figure out why I and I realize Bill Maher for