17 Burst results for "Sarah Hart Unger"

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

05:21 min | 4 months ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

"But I feel like scrubbing walls right now. I'm not in the mood for that so I'm just going to live with it. You know I think making distinctions is important. The right kid might really enjoy a mister clean magic eraser. That's one of those scrubbing the outdoor furniture. That might spark a kid and my kids had so much fun. Giggling and laughing taking a ladder. Around and changing light bulbs obviously. That's a big job. Not a little kid job. But they've found it like so fun and silly and guess what it never until this week dawned on me that I didn't have to do that myself because children can change light bulbs. My kid is going to go off to college soon. Yeah he can do it and he learned how yesterday and he was actually so proud of himself. We turn the lights off in the kitchen. You changed a couple of the recess lights and then we hit the lights again and they came on and he looked at me. Like I haven't seen that look of delight a my teenagers face in two months. He change a light bulb himself. That's funny it's good to remember. I feel like I've fallen way away from that. For some reason my kids were like cooking some meals. They were doing their own laundry and keeping their rooms clean. We had established some stuff and we have backslid on a lot of that stuff right now and it might be good to. They've gotten really into playing games online and so it involves of course a lot of like. I need money to buy this shield in this game. They were just eliminate up. Not GonNA fly right now. A lemonade stand literally. The last thing anyone wants people would pay you to put away your lemonade stand the extinction burst. Lemonade stands. They will no no no. We'll wear masks. I'm like no no no. No no eleven stan. A hard pass but anyway maybe I could get them to wash the walls. There's one other thing that I think keeping in mind will make this moment a little bit easier. Okay lay it on me and there's many things we have to take on right now but one we can put down is pretending. Our kids aren't there. What does that mean? I mean if you have to do a call if you have to do a work presentation in email whatever it is your kids twenty four seven presence in your life right now is not something you have to hide at all costs less. You'd get that promotion. We're all with our kids all the time. I'll take that another exit down that highway me because I think you do not have to help your husband. Pretend he does not have a family. Yes and so. That's like for me. It was a little bit of a sit down with my husband whose job is unfortunately not super busy right now but you know. In the first week he was kind of. He works at home already so he was like all right goodbye and walking down to his office at eight in the morning and trying to come up at six PM. Like what's for dinner. And I had to kind of express in a loving way that I thought he should slow his role on that entire thing and realize that. It's not my job to make this pandemic not happening for you. I will say on the flip side that he has completely stepped up and he is probably doing more than me right now. That's another silver lining. Well I talked to a guy data three. I was communicating with him again on the lake. Three things I had to do that day. I was talking to him about some apartment building. Emergency procedures being in New York City during the virus and he said I will do that at some point this week but in about another fifteen minutes. I'm going to become homeschool dad for a while so I mean I'm doing my best but I have that going on right now and this is a guy that I'm really starting to work with and I found it extremely refreshing one. It was a guy saying it but also like he was just being upfront and owning. I'm going to do my best for you as a professional and I have kids. Who Need My home school assistant so it might take me a couple of days and I had no problem with that. Of course I didn't and I think that we can at least take that off our backs. It's okay if your toddler comes up to you during the war call you know what I mean. We don't have to pretend this isn't happening and this isn't where we are. You can take that one off. Your List Agree. Solved it did. We're going to say you can get maybe a little bit more done if it helps you. Otherwise get nothing. Done around amy before we wrap have to just give you a little extra something. We haven't calling out monsters and my poor husband has gotten called out as a monster a million times and I did the biggest. What kind of monster thing ever and I have to call myself out to even the scales. Okay I got a bunch of plants and I decided that I would drive them. We have a porch around the back that I would drive them around the back rather than just being lazy and not wanting to carry them up and I drove out onto the lawn. Forgetting that have recently rained and I dug the car so deeply into the lawn that I got stuck then I freed myself again and I dug myself into the one in six different places. Giant divoty tire marks all over the lawn. Because I decided I did not wanNA walk the like literally twelve feet to carry the plants out. What kind of monster ruined sir? Front Yard I am the monster and I am here to admit it. That's the first step in improving things. Margaret. Is you start with yourself. Yeah my house was still also monster but anyway if you WANNA talk to us about what you're getting done what kind of monster I mean. The what kind of monsters are flying. Fast furious.

New York City amy
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

10:58 min | 4 months ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

"We were talking about in the First Section about how we had to set boundaries with our kids in order to get stuff done and how. That's not easy. I WANNA make sure everybody saw. There was an amazing article in New York Times. Parenting by Michael. Lean do cliff called. Turn your demanding child into a productive CO worker. I will say I rolled my eyes so hard on them when I saw that title. Just the title. Well maybe she didn't even write the title right but it's a great essay. So Michael Lean. She said that she found herself being transformed from a productive writer into an event manager for a four year old. Because the kid is sort of always at your niece and playing with me playing with me. It's not working. I don't WanNA watch US anymore. Already saw this neck kind of thing and there's only so much screen time you can do and she decided to revisit some work that she had done with. I think there were in you. It's I mean we're talking people who live up in Alaska and the Arctic in Igloos right like how does a mother of three with three little kids in an igloo. Who has to skin the whatever to make dinner on our wall? Whatever we don't know the NAR wall like how is she getting something done because guess what happened and so she goes back into this research. There's hundreds there's thousands of years of kids being with their parents while their parents did the work and the kids occupied themselves. Sort of at hand next to your knee. But they're playing by themselves and she decided that this was a skill that she was going to teach her for your eld and set about doing it and Mike. Lean claims that now she can work for about an hour with the four year old. And say Mommy's GonNa work on a book for an hour now and sometimes. Her daughter will work on her own book. Which is about frozen to or she will lie on the floor do this. But she understands and is it. Productive is when her daughter was at school and Michael was at the Library of course. Not but it's moving in the right direction. First of all read this article. It is super interesting second of all. I challenge myself and I want you to come along on this challenge dear listener. This is the kind of thing that we often hear. And we think my kid couldn't do that not my kid and you know. Sometimes that's true. We often say when people say the only when they're hungry those picky eaters. I'm like Maybe not my kid but let me tell you maybe my kid now. My picky eater. I had to sit down with and say you know what the things you really like the best. We can't get right now and so you're going to have to eat some different things and like lean into the experience of there is something on the other side of whining and boredom and I challenged myself all the time with this because you know I have kids who really do not thrive at entertaining and if I let them on screens and sometimes I let them on screen for four hours. Because that's what works for us but in the days where I'm trying to limit the screen time. What if I let them be bored? What if they fight in wine for a long time and I keep ignoring it and this article helped me? 'cause I keep thinking what if we were in? I cannot crews direct them. I am busy hunting and skinning things. We're reading the my angles. You know the Little House on the prairie books right now and I just keep thinking of Ma like she's not entertaining those kids. She's doing stuff and yes. Is it more annoying to unload the dishwasher and hand them to the Kennan? Have THEM HELP. And do they complain? They definitely do. But if you don't force yourself and I'm saying this mostly to myself to push through that wall of resistance you will never find out what's on the other side. I just find out. There is a psychological term for this. The thing you have to push through is it called Margaret. His insane isn't because that's what I'm having right now. The Nar wall effect it's called an extinction burst that when you're trying to get your kid to let you work or help out. Whatever we're talking about that you get so much resistance. It isn't worth it. And so you just give and do that one more time that when you change your approach. I'm going to sit down and I'm GonNa work quietly now. This mom has to answer some emails. And you're going to have to all this because you know while the baby is sleeping. This is your time to sit quietly. You will not immediate compliance. You will instead get an increased burst of noncompliance and the example is always like you put the money in the vending machine and the soda comes out right. What happens when the soda doesn't come on the vending machine? Eubank shake it. You like what happened? I put my money. I Want my soda. Your kid is going to react that way in the very near term like no no no. This is how it works. I wanted to read me the book you have to exist through that extinction burst because it is going to be extinct but you have to get through it. That's like a great image for me because that's exactly what it is and then solve the problems that come up in the new reality so if you say oh my four year old got into the pots and pans pulled everything that. I made a huge mess in the hour that I was working. Your reaction isn't should. This was a mistake trying to do this with my four year old. The solution is I need to work somewhere where the four year old has insight you know and come with a four year. Old just keeps bothering me okay. So the solution is I need to completely blank. Face everything for your old does for one hour you know and so you don't try to just say well. I tried it. It didn't work out because this other thing happened. You try to sell for the IGLOO problem. Yeah which is. I can't just play with them all day. I'm an IGLOO. I have to do it and that philosophy is the one thing that has kept me going a little bit through quarantine and I've been in other situations in my life difficult situations and somebody I don't know if a friend told me a long time ago if you force yourself to think of the situation as this is what was supposed to happen to me for a reason then you start to see everything as a new kind of challenge like this was what was supposed to happen to me for a reason. This bad thing that happened and so how am I being asked to react to this situation? How am I being asked to thrive in this situation? How are my kids being asked? This is exactly what was supposed to happen to your kids for a reason. I don't believe that's true but if you think of the problem that way you become a problem solver in it like oh I have to find the solution that why I was locked in this room escape defined the key. If you have kids who are little enough that you need to be with them. Why you can't let them play in the playroom in the basement because you need to be keeping an eye on them all the time. This is obvious but watch your margins on this. Do not do anything without the kit around after bedtime before they wake up during nap time while they're watching this show. Do not do anything that you couldn't do while they were around so when the kid goes to bed donen load the dishwasher. Save that two together with the kid folding the laundry like all of that stuff. Don't do anything when the kids around. But your email and the thing you need to get done relaxing doing nothing but counts too but save the housework and it means for me it meant letting go my standards of perfection. When my kids were younger like let the House be messy until tomorrow clean the Messy House with the eighteen month old next to you also cleaning the house right like save that stuff and you will find a little more time to do that thing you really need to do. Yeah and the F. Why I feel like I'm stuck on this because it's important for me. This is not so you can free up your time to write the great American novel. No and sell factual is all your time and get on the treadmill six times a week and be this extremely. I saw her tune in New York to send it to. Emi Put up on the show notes. It's like a person just after a shipwreck and there's like flaming debris in the water and half the ship is sinking. And they're in a lifeboat and the caption is. I'll finally have time to work on my novel. Like this is not the time to work on your novel now. You are surviving a crisis so we are not talking about. Oh my gosh free up time because then you'll be able to make pheasant under glass for dinner every night that is like the most seventies reference. I'm sure no one knows about but that was all the locks alert back in my day because that was always my mom's Goto it must have been some like old seventies restaurant thing because that was always referenced for like what Fancy People. Eight pheasant under glass. I even know what it is. It sounds like cruise ship like everybody in formal clothes for dinner every night. Sort of cruise ship cuisine right. It's not free up time so that you can make a better dinner. It's free time because you'll see that your kids can function more without you another thing. That's working for me right. Now is actually going back to my planner. I had stopped using it for at least a month. Because what's the point? What Day is it? Who knows who cares. But now that I'm starting to have due dates and a couple of things I need to do. I've gone back to the paper. Planner am writing about three things each day that I have to do and they can be little. It can be like get the episode ready to launch on Wednesday. I write that down for Tuesday but looking at that instead of I also have a list that I keep I have to but looking at that makes my is cross but looking at your three things you need to do. Today here are three things I need to do. Tomorrow it takes all the guesswork out of it. It takes all the herbs so much to do. I don't have so much to do these three things that I need to do today. And it can be ready a check and then you cross it off and you feel so proud of yourself. I also find that. That house would like the Ambien anxiety because I was having a lot of trouble with like I got three kids. They're running three different zoom sessions. My oldest takes care of it himself basically but the two younger ones and you know. Oh we missed class. And then it's tears because they did something special and we were not yet because mum's a dummy and you know of course my fault and I have found just one to do list. I did not get my planner backout because it seems I don't know depressing to but I do keep a small notebook on my desk that I have a to do list every day. This is what has to get done today. Which is sort of the same thing that you're saying. Yeah and the short of the better right. I mean the two or three things that really do the shorter the better. And that's the thing. Don't do anything you can't do with your children around while they're asleep agree and like. Don't do anything that you don't need to do if you don't want to do it too. I mean this is not the time I this weekend planted a bunch of stuff because I find and it was finally sunny in New York Oh we've been through it with the weather and I. It gave me great joy to be outside and then it will get make me really happy to sit among plants. I know that and so. That's something I took on because it feeds me and makes me feel better but I also have. My kids are horrible with handprints. And sometimes let me say shoeprints all over the walls of our house and walking around kind of depresses me. To See. They're like Brown handprints oliver everything and our dirty walls..

Michael Lean New York New York Times US writer cliff NAR Little House Alaska Mike Kennan Eubank Messy House Brown Emi Ma
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

01:40 min | 4 months ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

"Five minutes in the sink. Has Anyone seen my phone? The over it mom. You know it goes for homeschooling today. Let's just watch documentary? Yeah I guess. Youtube Videos of surfing dogs count as a documentary right. This socialize her okay. So we'll meet at two o'clock at the parking lot of the high school track and then you'll sit in the back of your car and then I'll sit in the back of my car and we'll screen back and forth each other. While we trail mix be multitasker I think if you look at these spreadsheets you'll clearly see. The quarterly processing. Implementation is off to a strong start. Could you hold on for a moment? I have to stir these sloppy joes the trying to keep perspective mom so guys there's a pandemic going on the thing is we are lucky to all behind together and even if the schools don't reopen. I'm here to help you learn and sure not seeing. Our friends is hard but we are so very blessed to have each other and I mean yeah. This could last leg another year but we can't just need to stay positive. Mommy has a little headache. Thought newswatch mom okay. Twitter is saying that New Zealand is easing at a lockdown. That's gotta be news guys now. I'm looking at CNN. Seems there's something called Murder Hornets? Listen my breaking news crawl says there's something called Cova toes. I need everyone to take off your shoes and socks so I can check you. This is Ben. What type of corn t mom are you from the what fresh hell podcast? So.

Twitter CNN Ben Murder New Zealand
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

02:38 min | 4 months ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

"To see where those mistakes navy made but first and second grade and probably beyond that. It's a good time to to let them make those mistakes and learn from them and I do think that that I want to underline that for people that I mean I keep seeing people stressing about kindergarteners homeschool. And I just I resist on every being like this is not a thing. Don't worry about it at all if it's helping you structure the day great. I mean my my oldest kid is six grade and so I don't have the pressure of those counts towards your final exam for life but I just there's nothing worth it to me to add to the stress of homeschool like I'm quite into exploring this experience. As how do you work nice and structure your day and often walk out of my kid's room and I say I think this may be a day where you don't get anything done and I guess that's what will report to the teacher. And then they freak out. Oh I got to get done and really trying to lean into letting them take some responsibility and I did. Just get note that my second grader has turned in any work the last month because I let her do it on my own. Some very we got to catch up on that stuff. And here's why that's not grade and I chatted with her about it and I feel like the organic lessons. Don't pass them over at this time. Can we talk about what on our lists can get like crossed off like forever circular file like? I thought that I was going to be able to contribute to this year end project. But I'm not going to be able to do that now. Are there things we can decide? Right now are worth our time or they might have been in the olden days it so individual there are one that comes to mind for me is like organizing digital photos. I'm like I have just left that behind. Like who cares like I'm going to throw together a photo book. And then the digital photos will be there or they won't and that's fine fifty years ago digital photos and we survived so that's an example to me of something that people can spend hours on differently. Like whole podcast dedicated to like how to do this but like you could also just not not. It's funny because of what I write about tight. Get people sending me tips on how to be better organized about their inboxes and I'm looking at that. Ship has sailed. My inbox is what it is. And I've I've had a few things that have fallen through the cracks. And usually if I apologize and say something nice to the person that solves the problem and with that being the solution you know maybe it's not worth being one hundred percent on top of it so. I know some people will disagree with me on that but serious and Inbox Zero Tornado. I.

navy
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

05:37 min | 4 months ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

"Tests? How are you going to stand? Over your toddler enriching activities there are minimal enriching activities entirely true. There are some. I don't WanNA throw my household under the bus here but no I think that there is definitely a recalibration going on because people are realizing that he can't do an a plus job on everything and some of the things that in the past we consider worth in a plus job may just not be worth a job and this is true for work. This is true for home. This is true for taking care of the house This is true for all sorts of Sam's true for our personal care. I mean we've learned that we don't have to get a haircut every six weeks or colored or whatever it is that we do. I know that you guys are not that big on the Silver Lining Byzantine. Really not big on it. But I think some people might be but re calibrating. Your expectations is fine You know that if you're a generally eight-plus plus employees who does a B. minus job for three months okay like it's still better than your employer having to replace you sure that the employer has glad they don't have to replace you. They'll take B minus for a couple of months. If it means you don't walk out the door. Same thing on on the homefront laundry can be shoved at people's doors are just left and you come get it when you need socks there. There's probably some of the dryer you'll figure it out. Yeah so I think there's a lot to be said for that. Some of us were never all that anyway. So it's it's kind of normalizing everyone else to us and is also a good reminder that it's okay that we don't have to be our children's cruise director all the time and I know I find myself sort of questioning. How much activities we were doing before. Were really helping our lives or just unnecessarily complicating our lives and there's a spectrum like there are certainly kids who are struggling right now. Maybe they have to. Parents have to work outside. The home and things are really chaotic but in a lot of households just because they're not being stood over twenty four seven doesn't mean that they're not getting something out of this time they're probably getting more time with their parents. They're probably getting more time to do creative play They're probably getting enough sleep for once. I have a lot of patients. You know. I take care of diabetes patients and a lot of them are actually under the best control. They've ever been because they don't have these complex routines going on so I think we have to remember that for kids as long as they're getting their basic needs met and they're getting love that we can't be expected to make every single moment of their day. Perfect learning opportunity or a pinterest. You know science experimental cooking project and I found as I'm calibrating everything about my life. I muscle calibrating. My Kid's needs in a way like I have a kid who when left to earn devices will read a book for two hours and then write a long story and illustrated and that's for home schooling. I don't worry about her at all. Then I have other kids. Who left to their own devices will watch screens all day. And so there's a lot you can figure out in terms of what needs to happen and for whom that's been what's hard for me. I mean I have all all other kids. My kids are twelve. Fifteen and seventeen and part of what I have to do. Every day is manage their time management for better or worse. And I'm trying to back away on that like I. I can tell if my high schooler is doing what he's supposed to be doing to get ready for college applications. Whatever or not I hear like of his mouth and I can tell these online minecraft for our three instead of doing one of the eighteenth thinks he could be doing to plan for future and I find myself sort of hovering over that a little bit because I'm in the same room with them making dinner like have you started the one of the ten things but That's probably not a good use of my time right now to manage other people's time you have to sort of let it be a little bit. I guess I'm trying. Yeah I mean honestly it's a skill and we can help. Children learn the skill of managing their time. I mean there's plenty of adults who have no idea how to manage their time so I guess it's not really fair to assume that children will learn but if they can learn it. I mean all the better I think probably a child will be better served by figuring out like this is how I project manage my college applications with some insight from mom and dad of course. But you know it's one of the first big things that they can tackle by themselves and what opportunities so yes. It's hard to back up but it also allows them to to figure out things. I would say this whole experience of having my older children around the whole time is really teaching me about their differences in personalities. Just to what you guys were talking about like one kid wants to get through everything as soon as possible in is incredibly upset when the child cannot cross something off on the list of things to do for the day. By ten o'clock others will leave them undone allnight unless somebody is standing over them saying you have to do this. You have to do this. Others RESORT TO SUBTERFUGE. And then you get notes from the teacher of like. I haven't gotten anything from this child in a long time in lake That's funny because they were on the computer for a long time allegedly doing it subject Subterfuge is a skill in of itself. I was true I I've learned that some of my children are good at it. Yeah useful life skill. When you think about it. Laura has also taught me not to catastrophes is what happens especially in the lower grades. You know you can freak out because your first grader. Turns out like hasn't been you know dotting every I and crossing a routine but this is actually the time to mess up and it's actually interesting because there are some of them are being given a little bit more independence and we're actually able.

lake That Silver Lining Byzantine diabetes Sam director pinterest Laura
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

06:51 min | 4 months ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

"Fair amount. I think it's definitely helpful to look at your day kind of either the night before or the morning of and if even if you don't have your three things completely identified yet and I tend to be like two to three things like five. Sounds like a lot right. Figure out where whose secret windows of time might be found like? I know in my house. One PM to four PM is that Golden Hour Productivity on if. I don't have anyone home to help me because that will be one kid. Young Toddler napping and two older kids glued to minecraft. So it's actually like three hours if I know exactly what I need to get done in those three hours and I've kind of thought about it ahead of time I could be like a Ninja and try to just make bang out what I can. We know but it's kind of comforting and makes me less anxious earlier in the day kind of knowing that I've already identified my window where I'm going to try to kind of attack everything that I need to do. I feel like that. That's key and Laura. I know you talk about having more time than you think. And that's a thought that I keep coming back to at this time because there is a sensation of chaos that is kind of dominating my life but eight weeks in. I'm getting really tired of that sensation. Two and so. I'm trying to reformat my days. I'm not suddenly trying to be like I can repaint the upstairs. I'm not trying to give myself jobs but I'm trying to come back to this story of there is actually some time. We're not actually in fulltime. Chaos thousands. I actually on fire. I hope not I mean not yet. It's kind of a month so so you should get out of the house. Yes but no I think this is. This is helpful to change our stories. I mean we can't necessarily change reality but we can change how we talk about reality and often. That can go a long way. If you're telling yourself the story I'm crazed. I have no time for anything. Then you look for evidence to support it and I am sure we can all find evidence to support that narrative at the moment but we could also find evidence to support different narratives. Yes you may have toddlers running around the whole day. But as Sara if they've got a good long nap in the afternoon maybe that's time that you can do something that's fun for you as opposed to doing housework during that time Maybe it's time after kids go to bed navy. If it's time that you can trade off with a CO parent Maybe it's slightly older children. Who are able to be shoved out in the backyard and probably won't cause too much damage to themselves or others for an hour then time you can use for stuff too but if you've identified what you WanNa do with that time then you avoid that feeling of like oh well. The kids were just out in the yard for an hour. And all I did. Was SCROLL THROUGH. Twitter reading depressing headlines. Some of us are. I think sometimes it's also helpful to about like your level tasks and your level tasks meaning like what are the things that I can do. I'm paying half attention and those things might be things like folding laundry or like maybe you're able to kind make dinner but you're probably not able to complete we're talking about a theoretical slide deck. That's do that. You've been putting off for like eight weeks at this point. That's going to have to be reserved for that special kind of protected screen century whatever. Your poison is time verses. You're kind of Bela stuff. Which you can kinda squeezing Twitter Squirrel yet when you yet no one of the One of my blog raiders. I love this example. Because she's one of the families of many families for splitting childcare during the day that she and her husband have toddler And both trying to work fulltime and so she gets one to five thirty to work each day while he has the toddler and she takes the morning or whatever it is and then she also works from seven thirty to eight thirty at night and she said she takes the seven thirty to eight thirty slot and completely plans out. What she's GonNa do from one to five thirty and from one to five thirty. She does zero emails Zero Administration. It is only the projects that require her full focus. Because she's like well. I can answer e mail while the kids running at truck around the table and I'm like sit there with my phone. I can answer an email and that's so hard to have the discipline to be like that though I When the kid goes down for a nap I gotTA clean out my inbox. But no you. Don't you know that can happen at other points but say save the quiet time for? What really deserves that time? That sort of revelatory to me that you can spend an hour landing your next day. That is the best use of your time over a week. Right as it's been an hour a day planning what is the best time instead of using that our if you then execute the plan. I think it's very in her case. It was very structured. Planning in the sense of shoes even doing like outlines of the things she needed to right right so it's not like she wasn't working like it was only planning but it was very much making sure that she could optimize the time that she had planning. It's also thing for us like I know that. Find actually having that conversation with your spouse is something that. I was skipping over for the first week and it was causing a lot of problems like actually sitting down and saying you're on I'm off your even if you're not trying to do an outside of the house job being really clear about. Who's in charge? When will stop a lot of interpersonal fighting in my personal experience? I think that it's such important point and I don't think that's the should be rushed through that. That really deserves. Its own kind of planning type of meeting where you physically get out your digital owner or a paper calendar and decide. You know how you're going to cover for each other now. Of course there are going to be situations. That's not possible. You may have someone. That's raising their kids on their own or you may have somebody who's partner works in the Er and they're just not available like that but if there are two bodies that can contribute to childcare really intentionally figuring out how to best use those people to help the other person's day singing is is so important and not to be overlooked right now. Is there any part of this? That is about sort of recalibrating. Our expectations of what it is to parents like we were talking in the previous segment about how we have all sort of learned over the past couple of decades. We've we've all learned over the past. Two decades parents are supposed to put kids at the center of their lives at every moment has to be enriching and useful and we have to sort of like the toddler comply with masking tape for an hour. And that's fine. Does that enter into this at all into getting more done when unified.

Twitter Laura partner Sara Bela
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

03:04 min | 4 months ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

"Sarah Hart Unger and Laura van or Vander Cam is the author of several time management and productivity books and is a mother of five. Do I have that right? Laura you five Kids Now yes Sarah Hart. Unger is a practicing physician and mother of three. I have that Sir yes I lose. Track Myself But yes. I'm best of both worlds. They discussed work life balance. Parenting time management productivity and making time for fun that stuff. Thanks for being with us. Sarah and Laura were so excited to be here. Thanks for having us. This is exciting to be on. So we're all in this moment right. We're like we're rounding into the second full month being completed of US staying at home and we were talking part one about how it. Kinda worked for a while and you could kind of put everything on pause but now the work stuff is starting to creep in around the edges whether you work outside the home or not the project. The and year thing the volunteer slide show we are also can have that stuff a little bit overdue. And how do we get to? What's most important in the extremely limited time we have? That's what we want to talk to you guys about. Yeah I know this is really a something. A lot of people are dealing with and as you mentioned you can put a lot of stuff off for a long time which is to know right. I mean I haven't gotten my haircut in a very long time. I haven't been to the dentist in a very long time. It was a long time before quarantine and now it's even longer but eventually we do need to get to some stuff but I think the key thing is you want to ask A. What is the stuff that I most want to get to? You won't get everything and when people try to get to everything that's when they start to feel bad so really getting clear on what what is the first thing I want to focus on and then we'll get through that. What is the second thing I want to focus on keeping the list really really short? How many things? You're on your daily list so I am to put about three to five things on my daily to do list. That's usually in addition to any scheduled. Appointments I have. I know that three to five things doesn't sound like a whole lot but the problem is there's no point in making a twenty item to do list and then not doing it like you won't do it. You Won't do all twenty items. He'll do some of them but which ones were they the most important ones where they once that actually had to get done today or were they not on that list. Is home schooling your children making meals those things. I'm tailgate or not even on the list in baseline yeah beyond life maintenance right the things that I don't put brush my on my to do list each day and sometimes I do the on there but not not a reminder to eat lunch. It's you know these are the things beyond baseline that need to happen today. And if you keep it short you can probably get through it and then you know you can go pick three other things tomorrow and if you keep picking three things you get through a.

Sarah Hart Unger Laura van Sarah Hart US Sarah Vander Cam
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

04:45 min | 4 months ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

"Are you know with kind of vulnerable people and doing some work that I feel like if not me who and that story gets me crazy you know. I'll end up at three o'clock in the morning doing staff. I don't have trouble drawing boundaries. Have been like there's only so much I can do. Let's for the podcast but some of my other work is more like volunteer work. And it's like Oh these people are depending on me. That story gets me every time I have terrible problems with boundaries. When it's like could you help? I don't have any problem being like I'm not doing. Pta stuff it's not working for me but can you help a vulnerable person. I'm like I might as well do it because otherwise I'd be worried that I didn't do it at three. Am You know? The Cobbler's children have no shoes because Margaret's out helping the world while there I have a WHO wrote a book called strangers drowning and it's literally about that like it's about people who rescue other people kind of at the sake of their families sometimes and I try to be very aware of not being that person who's like must save the world and my kids are like mom are you. You know but I know that's a vulnerable. This sounds a little bit but like I'd be like I'm just such a saint. I can't say no to people you know but I'm just saying I get. I have found in this time that I'm a little vulnerable to that. Guess who else we have to have boundaries with and say no to our children our children. That's right right. Aw a huge one. This is made very clear. I think for many of us that we have been parenting all along and a very twenty first century way. Were we're guilted into thinking? We need to make their lives. Perfect and educational right and so a lot of our kids are not particularly good at occupying themselves and this is a good opportunity for them to learn but we gotta teach them absolutely. And it's hard and are you finding I mean my kids are eleven nine and eight and is as I push back a little bit. I noticed like a total regression. I have found myself saying no baby talk in house for the first time in four years. It's like they are physically regressing. And I don't know how to do it and I'm like wait what we did it about stuff that like. We're way past that point. But they really feel that feeling of I want someone to like. Hold and take care of me whether it's through learning fractions or whatever it is they're needier and so it's a harder time to push those things but. I think never a better time really. Yeah my my kids are seventeen fifteen twelve so we're talking well out of the toddler age but still yes. They see me. They know I'm right there working at my laptop surely I can drop what I'm doing to help them and they want me to look at an essay for them or to help them figure out the email. They're going to send to the science teacher but they want to sit there with me while I do it. I'm extended to me and I'll get to. They WanNa sit there with me and sort of offload their education while I'm helping them and I'm working on that but no matter. What Age your kids are? I mean it's a lot easier to tell an eight year old to go play an eighteen month old. That's not GonNa Happen. Right so Sarah and Laura have kids won't Laura has five children and the youngest is five months old and she's still managing to get through the day. She's a time management expert. And I think she's going to have some great advice for us on ages and stages how to Eke this out right now all right. We'll be back with them right after this break emmy by any chance for a good project to keep your kids busy right now I mean. Would there be literally one person that would say no. My kids are fully occupied. Actually I'm good. We're doing great thanks. I'm not interested in activity that would completely absorbed by kids while requiring zero parental oversight. Right no there is no such person right now. That's why you gotTa Try Kiwi. Every month Kiwi delivers super cool hands on projects and toys are engaging enriching seriously and teach kids concepts of science technology engineering art. Where math while they're at it guys. I'm here singing. The praises of the Kiwi Co experience. My eleven year old put together a hand crank autumn Matan. He totally loved doing it. Everything he needed was in the box. And guess how much I helped amy zero zero percent zero point zero. What I love about Kiwi Co? Is You make the UKULELE. And then you play with the Ukulele like you get like two uses out of this thing and Kiko..

Laura Kiwi Co Margaret Sarah
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

10:18 min | 4 months ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

"Which is about how to get more out of life at work and at home as a working parent so we figured maybe they could help us right now because we need to get literally anything done right. I mean we can beat ourselves up on. Knocked getting more done when we're all doing more than we ever do right like we are all. In this moment where full-time caregivers were fulltime homeschool? Facilitators and educators. We are all working at home. I mean whether you had a job outside the home that gave you a paycheck before this or not. We are all two months in all getting many male like I'm supposed to set up from my daughter's home room a very special. Thank you gift for the homeroom teacher at the end of the year. Yes because I'm the class parent and to come up with something. Thank you teacher appreciation. Week right and believe me. I appreciate this teacher. But unlike Oh god Dr to edit together a video of the kids saying thank you. How many of those can you watch? I'm so glad you just said that because I have to write down like it's teacher appreciation week for me too and I've got to do something for all of this dot guys. You know us. This podcast is not gonna be like. It's time to write your novel friends with all your free time like. That's not where this is going so don't worry about it. We're just trying figure out if we can get literally anything done before we move on. There is one other thing we've gotten done that we have to tell people about. Oh that's right because we have gotten one thing done we as a lot of guys know we have taken some of our quarantine time to make some little videos about how it's going for. Us spoiler not great but we did start a youtube channel and come to our website. What shall podcast dot com and you can find our youtube channel. You can also search what I shall podcast on Youtube and find us. And that's fun. You can waste time watching videos while you're not getting stuff done. One of our facebook listeners asks do that so that she could share it with people who are on facebook and so yes. Share are funny videos. If you think they're funny far and wide. That would really help us. Amy Sometimes we talk about how we perceive the other person and I perceive you to some degree as a person who would use quarantine to get in better shape and like write a novel. No true or false. I'm trying to be extra right. I'm just trying to do anything and I feel like for the first many weeks I was able to sort of hold stuff at bay like nobody was really expecting anything of a mother of three. Who was just dealing with the home schooling? But I feel like at this point. It's all coming around like thing. I told you I needed you to notarize for the city. Like that. Really needs to be notarized and it really needs to happen right now. All of that stuff is starting to creep in under the door at least for me like we give you a break and now I need this right now please. Even if it's class parent stuff right. It doesn't have to be for a company the household. Ceo Stuff is becoming all of a sudden overdue you experiencing that. It's interesting in the beginning. I mean I remember when this started and now whatever we're let's call it sixty days inn or something. I remember in the beginning thinking. I'm not GonNa do anything and I lived in New York on nine eleven and remember a very similar set of what do you call it like steps? That happened afterwards that the first couple days was just like okay. World has completed nothing else will ever be the same and we're now going to like I don't know what you know become soldiers or it seemed like a completely different different from now on everything would change right. I mean I was planning to run. It was September eleventh. Obviously thank you and then I was running the marathon November and the idea of rain right. Marathon was comical. That will never. Of course a new world order started and that will never happen and then about a month out like stuff started to kind of come back to some semblance like you went back to work and everything returned. It took a long time to return to normal but and I feel like I've had sort of the same experience with this in terms of the first five days I did nothing but look stare at the wall and panic like I really couldn't function at all and you and I did some work around the podcast just because we work on a schedule and we kind of had the sense of like. Let's at least keep it going and see what happens but other than that. I was having trouble getting anything done. And then the second week I had a lot of I teach and so I had to designing new curriculum for my work and that took a lot of time and I don't know fielding calls from like how's everybody doing and a lot of checking in right and I feel like right now. I'm not getting caught with a lot of tales. I'm busy with the school stuff and I do find the lake. It's the tiny things it is the like. Could you film your kids saying thank you teacher? No big deal but those things tend to become the straw sip. Break my back like I don't know why but I cannot manage to fill my kid for one second saying. Thank you as teacher by the way I will do it because I do appreciate them but you know what I mean the for me now. It's just generalized nightmare and chaos and then small things I was just saying on the facebook page. Like the thing that's like. Click all the pictures of traffic light. That is the thing that will break me like zoom. And it's this weird picture and you're like wait. Am I supposed to click the light post also and the lightly? I get it wrong three times. Like yes for me. I'm not that busy but I feel like I'm gonNA constant state of chaos and small annoyances make me completely mental. I am feeling sort of getting frantically busy and I think it's because I'm an obliged Sir Gretchen. Rubin has those four types and I am the obliged you're like I'm the class parent because of course I'm the class parent. I'm on the Board of my apartment building New York. Of course I am guys. I'm just going to throw this out there if you have. Young kids class is a terrible job and I would avoid it if I were you. I know that's not a good team player thing to say. But of all the things I've ever done class parent was the worst. Well it's sort of gnawing at the edges now. I have to come up with so if I had to record my daughter doing video that be one thing but I have to come up with the idea. Get everybody to do it. And then execute it and then send it on and let me tell you. A global pandemic does not slow that stuff down. It's still like it's teacher appreciation. You get busier as glass. Which is insane. Yes because you're supposed to be in charge of making sure everyone's covered. It's not a good job and I hate to poo poo it because I have mad respect for people who do it and I realized the school wouldn't function without it but I'm just saying like insider word to the wives. Don't sign up and by the way your kid doesn't know your parent. Yeah we'll give you show up a secret reader or you show up with cupcakes on the birthday. Your kids like my mom's. A Superhero class parent is a completely behind the scenes job. And you're you're you're doesn't even realize you're doing it. Well I'll skip right to one of my solutions for this that we're GonNa talk about later but definitely one of my solutions right now is say no more. You know say no. I'm sorry I can't take that on right now because I think I have like three or four of these projects that I'm sort in charge of right now that I have to get done in the margins and I don't need a five six or seven and it's very hard for me to say no so Jennifer Wallace. Who's a friend of mine? She wrote an article for parenting in the Washington. Post about this moment that we're in and how to get more done and she suggests coming up with something she calls personal policies. Like think about this stuff and you make it a policy you make it a rule and you say I don't do more calls after eight PM for example not can't do where calls after eight. I don't do 'cause I actually don't do the volunteering time stuff for school. We do make sure to write a check to the parents fund every year. Like that kind of thing. I don't do work calls after. Apn because I imbedded in my jammies watching TV program. You don't have to explain yourself. You don't have to tell me why I mean the idea of a work all. Abm is blowing my mind right now. I think that is part of the problem right now. Because the Weekday Week and lines are blurred. None of us know what day it is right right eighty eight. Am lines are blurred? Like I know your home. I know you're looking at your phone. So intimate email you'll make my husband has a ton of work 'cause. He has a very traditional outside the home job. At least in the past it's been outside the home and people think he should be available at nine. Am on a Sunday. That's true and my husband. His were East Coast and his job is based on the West Coast so he actually does often get work calls at nine o'clock at night because people are wrapping up their dead six. I mean in back in the old times amy. When people went to offices remember those times when we left our houses and had friends who were our children. Yes back in those days. He used to have that problem. He I mean instill and I will say I do think it's smart to think of life as kind of a pie right now. Like my mother-in-law has an expression like love is not a pie. It's not slices and you give them away. It's like an internal spot but your work should kind of be a pie like I find with our work right now. I'm working a lot on Sundays. It's a really busy day for me. Workwise and so if I find myself on a Tuesday sitting out on my deck and having a beer and reading a book like that's my Sunday time. I'm taking back my slice of the pie from Sunday. You know. That's a good point and I think you have to kind of be like I'm willing to do X. amount of work and if I have to do it on a Sunday from today eight. I'm taking that time back on a Tuesday from eleven to two and I'm not explaining to anyone why I'm in a chair reading and Jerky that's a really good thing. I think we can all take at this time right. Get your working when you can do it and then get your time for yourself and when you can do it even if it's quote unquote during work hours because every hour is a work our at this moment is i. Guess what I'm trying to say but that really does begin with saying notice. I have that problem hugely myself. I don't think of myself as a pleaser. I guess I am in that. I'm like female and alive and Irish Catholic and like to some degree. That's all like blizzard pieces of me but I work in a couple of realm set..

facebook Youtube New York Amy Ceo Washington Workwise Sir Gretchen Rubin Jennifer Wallace Abm East Coast West Coast
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

Best of Both Worlds Podcast

02:27 min | 1 year ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

"Welcome to the best of both worlds. This is Laura this episode eighty four today, we'll be talking about a project. That's very dear Tim, be a little book called Juliet school of possibilities. Which is launching today March twelfth if you're listening to this episode when it first airs, so yeah, this book has been in the works for quite a while a richer, just Sarah. And I were talking about this earlier that I gave her an advanced copy. But the advanced copy came out a long time ago. It's a it's been a while. Right. It has been also feel like you were talking about the concept of it for like forever. Although I think it turned into something different from what you initially envisioned. Yeah. No, it was I had actually well, it's a long story. I had written a story that was called something similar to Juliet school of possibilities. Okay. It was like the thing school for domestic arts or something. It was it was an asshole novel writing month novel many. Ago that when you write fifty thousand words during November. And so the way this all happened as July two thousand seventeen the there is a couple of days there that was actually a big momentous for many reasons a one is this. This woman named Sarah Hart Unger, posted on her blog that she was looking to start a podcast. And I read that thought, hey, I wonder if she'd be willing to do with me. And then here we are a year and a half was it was like just meant to be the I remember that Email. I was like, oh, really? Yes. It was. So. Yeah, that that happened in that few days. And then I also I was on a little writing retreat. Actually, I was up in the Poconos finishing the manuscript of off the clock which was due says, but the came out last year, and then I got an Email from my editor on off the clock. Who said, you know, we are looking to commission a fable that there's the genre of sort of business personal productivity books that is stories instead of just straightforward instruction. So novellas at there's a lot of them out there. Obviously the most famous is probably who moved by cheese. I think what triggered this is that they knew they were gonna publish Spencer Johnson's follow on with that is called out of the maze. Which is the who moved my cheese follow up a just came out. But anyway, they were looking to commission others, Ed..

Sarah Hart Unger Juliet school Spencer Johnson Laura Tim Ed editor
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

Best of Both Worlds Podcast

04:08 min | 1 year ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

"Hi, this is Laura Vander Cam. I'm a mother of four an author journalist and speaker, and this is Sarah Hart Unger. I'm a mother of three practising physician and blogger on the side, we are two working parents who love our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds here. We talk about how real women manage work family and time for fun from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. We want you to get the most out of life. Welcome to the best of both worlds. The says Laura this episode seventy nine which will mostly going to be talking about vacations with small children, whether you're traveling or staying put they present their own challenges. But I am sitting right next to somebody who is on vacation with her small children. Namely, my lovely co host Sarah hurt under in my office right now. This is very exciting. This is our first live accorded episode while being with the first one to air, but the first one we're ever gonna we've done yesterday were the other one will air before their votes are big. Yeah. Yeah. Now is it and it's funny because. Sarah. And I worked together all the time on this podcast. We talk every week or so, you know, as we're making our episodes, and it was funny to think we hadn't actually seen each other since June two thousand seventeen right? That is creed before pretense pre best both worlds, which was also just glitter or whatever. Yeah. So it's been you know, it's amazing. How much work you can do with people without actually being I was thinking this the other day. Like, there are people have never met in person who have like and yet, you know, though, so well for their things they right online books. I've read of there is in had lots of conversations with them yet have never actually seen each other persons for strange. It's cool when you see them because you like you don't need to catch up. Yes. That's true sort of pick right off on your things. I love I've got together in person on some of my travels with a number of different like blog readers or podcast listeners who I know live in a certain place and. And it is fun when they are bloggers as well. Because then I feel like I don't have to catch up on their lives if they reading me than they know me into that. I have to catch up on them, which is fine. Because I like to listen to people talk about them in some people will kind of say, the funny thing, you're like, well, already know, it is odd that you've heard that story and some of my real true-life friends are wonderful. They read the blog, I know the no obligation to writing. But then I feel like oh my God. Like right to tell them things or they regretted insulting now with -ssume that they are reading an interesting situation. Yeah. So how's the vacation going so far? It's great. It's what are we were day today's Wednesday while it's actually going really fast because we we're we're at the halfway point we've flew in on Sunday. We've been hanging out allow parents. We had a nice Christmas Eve Indian buffet dinner, which may have started a new tradition and then yesterday we actually came here. So the our children. Got to hang out together and actually have gotten along quite swimmingly Annabel and don't use your daughter taught. We ridge we use. It is fine. Cross brad. Realized it wasn't mentioning them in a nine realized that settle their names at different points from each other. So yeah, yeah. Knows great is great. And also the choice situation has been a little bit. You know, crazy. We just they came over on Christmas was yesterday when we're recording this in. So the number of new things, you know, let's just say the house is not con married right now. Our house is actually not all that cranberry. Her. They've been playing with them got the Barbie dream house that that showed up from Santa yesterday's. That was pretty exciting on the timing was good timing. And then this the shockingly amazing our generation ice cream truck from target in our generation is the American girls not offset that target. Yes..

Sarah Hart Unger Laura Vander Cam Annabel Santa brad
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

Best of Both Worlds Podcast

03:10 min | 1 year ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

"This is Laura this episode seventy seven which I am recording in my office with my special guest next to me, Sarah Hart Unger. A live episode a. Yeah, this is this is awesome. It Sarah does posted on Instagram about forty five minutes ago that we were looking for questions to answer for this all mailbag episode to be fair. I think I was supposed to request this awhile. How to tell you. I am number one astounded social media. And number two. I have no learned if you would like response to something make it a very immediate replace like now, we're recording now is very excited because I said, okay, if you get your questions the next sixty minutes, we will try to use them on. I kind of the honest like I don't know that we're going to fit all thirty on right now. So, but we'll we can do to volumes or we can do them at another time. And I am just I'm just actually really like kind of touched at how quickly as responded to our police. Thank you. Yeah. And since actually this episode is airing before the other one where we're in the same office together. Sarah's visiting Pennsylvania, which is very exciting. So this is the first time we ending a bit in the same play awfully cold week here, and as dispension even our families have gotten to hang out, and it's great and you'll get to hear us on a later. Episode talk about vacations hips in hacks since we do happen to be on vacation. But we planned to do to including a mailbag. And that's what. You're gonna get today. So let's go ahead and dive right in with these great questions that came in on Instagram. All right, number one. And these are by the way, you know, usually allow a fair amount of planning goes into our podcast. We kind of not a script, but we have a little bit of an outline and go back and forth. We thought about our love the week. We've identified Acuna with served thought through things, but today, you're gonna get the uncensored Laura we can still go back slightly censored. If we'd like to cut something out. Our our trusty team could can do so, but otherwise you're gonna get some pretty unrehearsed dancer, so this week's ice do it. All right. Well, this is a good one. What is your favorite guilty pleasure? Laura dark chocolate, peanut butter cups. Why did you say that because they're sitting on my desk right now that we're just tormenting Sarah of during our previous episode reported. Finally, she's like can I have a better Cup daring at have daring at them. And why those look delicious, and they are rustled Barrick muscle. The bag a little. They're like, they're amazing. Yeah. So these are Justin's many dark chocolate peanut butter cups organic. It's all good. 'cause it's organic when it turns out when junk food is organic, it's all fine. Hebron has. I'm pretty good actually tried. I'm a bit of a peanut butter Cup connoisseur. Like, the I, unfortunately, I now cannot eat like the regular reasons. I know I like other. He's tried the CEO I have. And I like those receives also makes a dark chocolate peanut butter crap, which is is actually reasonable. It is not bad. So I would do a shout out for that. There's so called real or some Africa. Oh, yes. That israel. Yeah. Unreal..

Sarah Hart Unger Laura Africa Acuna israel Barrick Hebron CEO Pennsylvania Justin forty five minutes sixty minutes
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

Best of Both Worlds Podcast

03:01 min | 2 years ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

"Hi, this is Laura Vander Cam. I'm a mother of four, an author, journalist and speaker, and this is Sarah Hart Unger. I'm a mother of three practising physician and blogger. On the side. We are two working parents who love our careers and our families welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about how real women manage work, family and time for fun from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. We want you to get the most out of life. Well, invested both worlds. This is Laura this episode fifty, six. We have a special guest today k. j. Dell Antonia. She is actually sitting right next to me, we're, I'm sitting in her hotel room in the Marriott, airing this after it. So you don't have to worry about creature stockers or anything. So far. I don't have any ever ever since one boy friend nineteen Ninety-three. Oh, jeez, I was. She will be out of this Marriott by decide there so, but we're sitting in her hotel room because we're at the podcast movement at conference here, so were glad we got to do this mostly in person Sarah's in Miami, but were totally jealous until he jealous. That's okay. So we'll have Caja introduce herself. We're happy to have her on because she is author of a brand new book on this called how to be a happier parents, which is, of course something that we are all looking to do in Sarajevo also been listening to her podcast for while just hashtag AMRO writing she unjust Lahey top about all. Manner of writing and has they say, in their introduction, every time varies. Different disorders, tweets, blog posts, time magazine article lists all things. So we've, we've been listening to that as well learning learning a lot about the business and on the practical side of writing. So welcome. Thank you so much for having me. This was going to be really fun. I think it is too as weird to actually talk looking at someone. We'll. At each other as why don't you introduce yourself to our to our guests? Anything that I didn't didn't sure. So I am Caja del Antonia as Laura said on the author of a book how to be a happier parent is adjust just out, and I just sort of come up in exciting period of like telling everyone about it. And I guess I'm right in the middle of an exciting period of going until went about it. I am also be former editor of the motherload blog at the New York Times which became well family. I'm still a contributor there, and I, you know, freelance right? About all things parenting. Typically moral in the cultural and societal and political side than on the personal. But a little bit of both. And the book is it's really a data driven researched, look at how to be a happier parent, but with lots of informed by my life with four kids and informed by lots and lots of been there done that parents who, frankly had led to teach me about some of the topics we covered. Yeah, and I've enjoyed reading a lot of your like freelance stuff for years prior. Here to this. Is this your first full length book? No. My first fulling books.

Laura Vander Cam Sarah Hart Unger Caja Caja del Antonia hashtag AMRO Dell time magazine Sarajevo k. j New York Times editor Miami Lahey
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

Best of Both Worlds Podcast

02:09 min | 2 years ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

"Hi this is laura vander cam i'm a mother of four an author journalist and speaker and this is sarah hart unger i'm a mother of three practising physician and blogger on the side we are two working parents who love our careers and our families welcome to best of both worlds here we talk about how real women manage work family and time for fun from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals we want you to get the most out of life welcome the best of both worlds this is laura this is episode forty five we are pretty sure unless we need to use it earlier in which case we'll put a new number on it it's part of what we do in life as working parents is we understand that the best laid plans sometimes all through and so a recording this in april we're not scheduling to air it till june but in case whatever scheduled guests doesn't happen can use it or there that's what we do we plan for things that might go wrong right contingency episode superficial dear yes so we're pretending that it is june right now at talking about planning some vacations are you planning your summer vacation right now yeah no i really am no we don't i don't have detailed plans in place but actually even though it's only april right now we've already blocked out our time in august and i think i've mentioned before i know we're going to portland and seattle but we need to actually nail down our housing situation and i'm still not sure if we're gonna do airbnb versus hotel i feel like hotels so much easier to book like i don't have to i don't know it's just it's like a lower bar just kind of figure it out click done but i also feel like it might be nice to have like a decent size kitchen and a little more place for the kids to move around plus we're bringing our nanny so maybe more cost effective so i don't know i got to figure that out by the time this airs hopefully we will know yeah now to to hotel rooms can start to out yes it's amazing double shockingly enough.

laura vander cam airbnb sarah hart unger portland seattle
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

Best of Both Worlds Podcast

01:30 min | 2 years ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

"Hi this is laura vander cam i'm a mother of four an author journalist and speaker and this is sarah hart unger i'm a mother of three practising physician and blogger on the side we are two working parents who love our careers and our families welcome to best of both worlds here we talk about how real women manage work family and time for fun from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals we want you to get the most out of life welcome to the best of both worlds this is laura this is episode forty three where we will be talking about off the clock which is a book i wrote that is out today if you're listening to this on the day that this podcast comes out may twenty nine feel listening to it afterwards it should be available now so exciting see probably counting down to this day for quite a while yeah we got the pub date you get the pump date close to a year ahead of time i mean the book the traditional bookpublishing processes linked they i guess one way to describe it we assigned publication date probably in summer of twenty seventeen i actually know that my next publication date after this march twelve twenty nineteen so i have that set in wants to mark their calendars now yeah i know i've been counting down for a while it's so exciting and so what's the plan is going to be a big celebration i can imagine some sort of like you know literary party where.

laura vander cam sarah hart unger
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

Best of Both Worlds Podcast

01:44 min | 2 years ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

"Hi this is laura vander cam i'm a mother of four an author journalist and speaker and this is sarah hart unger i'm a mother of three practising physician and blogger on the side we are two working parents who love our careers and our families welcome to best of both worlds here we talk about how real women manage work family and time for fun from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals we want you to get the most out of life welcome to the best of both worlds this is laura we're going to be excited to tack this week with meredith monday shorts who some of our listeners probably know from her penelope loves lists days we have a lot of people who are sort of the penelope loves lists kind of readers in our in our listeners bet she's at now running a company called here comes the guide where it'd be talking with her on managing remote inflexible workers how you can manage a workforce that way and be the kind of boss that lots of people who want flexible work would love to work for so we're very excited about that but speaking of work we are recording this on march six and sarah went back to work yesterday sarah how did it go will i let me note that that means i'm off the day after i started back at work good schedule it wasn't my initial plan i had planned to be off on wednesday but then i had been invited to a meeting that i absolutely have to go to on wednesday so i said you know what i'm just gonna take the day off after my first day because i'm probably gonna need to breathe and i'm actually really glad i did that i'm not gonna say it was traumatic but it's it is stressful going back after a hiatus like that.

laura vander cam meredith sarah hart unger
"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

Best of Both Worlds Podcast

01:53 min | 2 years ago

"sarah hart unger" Discussed on Best of Both Worlds Podcast

"Hi this is laura vander cam i'm a mother of four an author journalist and speaker and this is sarah hart unger i'm a mother of three practising physician and blogger on the side we are two working parents who love our careers and our families welcome to best of both worlds here we talk about how real women manage work family and time for fun from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals we want you to get the most out of life welcome to best of both worlds this is laura this is episode thirty four and we are recording this at the end of february which is just a few short days before sarah is done with maternity leave which is why we are recorded as right now trying to get her get our stock up before we go back as a sarah hi feel about it i yeah that was my deep cy i feel i feel really a lot of mix of things which i think is probably pretty common for women going back to work after the you know three month leave or twelve weeks that's pretty fairly common at least in the united states and that's i'm excited to some extent i'm excited to have a little bit more autonomy during the day not be dependent on one baby needs to you know be held although i will be dependent on the timeframe of the pump and i'm excited to have those adult interactions i'm excited to see my patients although i'm sort of terrified that there's gonna be a floodgate effect because i've been gone that i won't be able to handle i'm super anxious about the milk thing which we've talked about before i probably need to take a lot of depressed than get over the fact that is just gonna be what it's going to be to be honest i'm already having some minor supply issues which i don't really have.

laura vander cam united states sarah hart unger twelve weeks three month milk