17 Burst results for "Ryan Idell"
"ryan idell" Discussed on 15 Minutes to Freedom: A Warriorâ€™s Daily Focus on Journals and Meditations
"This is fifteen minutes of freedom. I'm your host Ryan Idell in the studio as I made mention last episode. Don't win it aired his. We're still recording on Friday night. Right we live hard around here. Guys is my wife and I told you we had an announcement I yes. I don't know what it is kind of right in an oddly enough it wasn't supposed to be some sort of cliffhanger like we had eh. You know when you're GONNA have babies what what's going on that way like no no. I forgive me if that's how it came off. It wasn't intended that way right. It's I think it's important to share as we spoke about a relationship our relationship and how it works what Lindsey goes through being buried to me. Oh right and it's I can't imagine any fucking treat ego out of me wants to say like yes I know I'm a good husband. And all these things things and right but the the craziness that is the noise in my head is a lot and I know it a lot because there's always a new idea. There's is always a new plan. There's always knew something. And Lindsey over the years has went from in the way I view it curious serious. We first got together because it was like I had a whole bunch stuff going on. I didn't understand you had a whole bunch of stuff was right a lot of it behind the scene was scrambling to try to make money to keep up with my lifestyle and then it was right pivoting into clothing sales and always trying to have two or three other things going on. Because I didn't want to be away from home and the Internet such an easy way to make money and all these stories Ryan and so is to map on my board. We've covered this before like if all this stuff works works. And here's the percentage deals I have in like here's how much money will make a month and the first couple times she's like man. This incredible this is awesome like his great. Yeah because I because she'd never seen it before right. She's at that point. I call medical professional work in veterinary medicine. It's like that's that's way too much much money a month right because it was six figures right is what was estimated on the Whiteboard whiteboard. Not what was actually made and then over time the new ideas started to become more like an Iro for a while. Yep like what. The fuck was more like. How many times are you going to write right? These grandiose ideas on aboard and none of it's actually going to happen so I get like excited for you and for us and then it actually doesn't come to for relation and then I started getting clear on only having one thing this is about eighteen. Eighteen months ago maybe two years and it's obviously the industry to professional but now a call coaching. We can call consulting mentoring whatever it is like it was just. It kept calling me like it. There was a need for it. I could share what I had actually been through. I didn't have to finesse lie massage like it. Just here's who I am and a cared enough to consistently still due to consistently push the envelope on my understanding ripe either. Pay For mentorship myself or books or courses or trainings and that caused me right to find different ways to get rid of other businesses that I've been a part of and I believe as you're listening right the whole idea and I love right with Warren Buffett. The average millionaire has what five streams of income or whatever these things are I believe that to be one hundred percent true but I also believe they. Don't you can't do that until you've stabilized and really maximized one opportunity. That's in front of you. And and as I shared on lap last episode for the fourth quarter of last year and certainly going to this year I have been able to slow down my mind to to create systems and processes to allow me to work less stressful work. Less hours make more impact and from that make more money uh-huh and it's a natural progression if we look at psychology spiral dynamics things like that where you transition from having to work really hard and push push push push until you start Chris. Some processes that allied work on a business versus in a business and then you crave working with other people have done the same thing and you wouldn't is unfortunate. You're listening you can't skip the previous stab. You can try but you'll you'll default back them. It's not that you fail. It's you haven't become come became actualized in that level yet and Tony Time I've tried before with like twelve different things going on. Nothing ever really works and so I sit here and I've got a plan right in. The plan is big but the first time I share the plan with you are the plan for me is to make enough of an impact on people's lives this year that this'll be seven figure income year for our family. Just base this off coaching doing her way. That allows me to make impact in one setting in a group setting and in like an in person and setting and it's already mapped out for the year Riley. This isn't like oh I might do this thing like no no. Here's a calendar. Here's how it works. Here's the price points. Here's how like Ray disallowed is a lot more detailed in. Its way different than the whiteboard in our Home Office that he used to just have scribble on it. Because it's already working right and and just so you're not left in the dark and put your credit card away all the things way. I'm not telling you anything just to give you a peace of mind of what I'm talking about. I realized that I help. Other coaches mentors and consultants key clear in their own mind and grow scale and optimize their business so they can make a bigger impact that if you're not to a certain income level yet there's some stabilization that has to happen if you're not ten thousand dollars a month and recurring revenue. There's just certain things you have to go through. I get that because I have one through them right like this is not. I didn't read it in a book and then I'm teaching it. It's like you've heard my story is you're listening. I've had to go through these things. Then I realized at once you have can maximize ten grand. Whether that's a one to one setting or into one too many setting the next level you want to achieve is going to have new as Kurt and my my right hand. Man told me a long time ago now. It's everywhere new levels. Have New devils like there's new things you're gonNA have to overcome and rode the XP we jumped from ten K to fifty K.. Like there's different things you have to experience there and fortunate for me. I've been in that in that range pretty consistently with revenue not ah profitability there. Those are different things business until I realized that those people need different training every kind ability then I also realize some people that just want personal element like as you're listening listening. Maybe it's like running. Everyone coaching everyone would be mentoring. Everyone we consultant. But I got some shit in my head that I don't know how to get rid of and I like you enough that I I wanna go down that path. Why have some different pass for that as well? That aren't a group setting her sleigh clients. One to one right and I've actually. I'll end up launching watching it by the time this episode airs. I'm GonNa take all the personal development stuff that I've created over the years and create a system for you to consume it without. It's not going to be a a a a high figure that'd be high four-figure investment to pull off. Because I think everybody needs. It says another way I know everyone needs it and then right there is some one to one clients. And I'm very selective with those and it's a big financial investment but there for the right people that are swinging big bats right now the people that are already making more than half million dollars a year in their own business and are potentially ripe. I pain to have me come in for two days. Three days for consulting type of deal having me setup systems and processes and structure inside their business while working on their rights psychology subconscious. Whatever you WanNa Colin and so I have that and I have benchmarks? were running towards the systems built to help me scale that I should all that because it's it's now fairly automatic right. I have four one to one client right now. I on board a fifth cabinet six. That's just what it is. It's never more than six hours hours a week and the group training that I do equate sue Wright about another five hours a week. That's all kind of that. Eleven hour a week. Type of deal of having to fulfil clients is great for me right. I think that's it feels good because allows me more time to study and create and grow and do things but from the nature of that and where this goes Linden I have been privy to. I'm very fortunate to have some incredible friends. Come into our lives along along our path and one of those individuals is a man. Brian teach and Brian teach happens to be one of the one of the guys at first form. We love teach some company based out of St Louis Missouri. That is owned by all right. Andy for Sela and Chris Klein and for whatever reason I met Andy a long time ago in park city like before andy any was famous like he is now Hears about with Sean. Whalen we were there. It was a small group Small Little Park City Twenty five people in the room in Andy's great right naming he ended up calling me and asked me to come to first form at some point to make suits for for him. I mean this is years and years ago at this point and in that first meeting Andy was generous enough to like supply suits for a lot of the guys in the company of the things about I form weren't I didn't know the intricacies of it and just so happened that Brian and I just hit it off really really well during that conversation now. Brian and I figured out it's it's about four and a half years ago as you're listening to this and so we've remained close friends whether it's been based off suits in that time or himself in stores and so we're catching touching up and their summit stores in Columbus. Look like I know a lot of the owners. I know a lot of people that run. The stores for form doesn't really have a presence. He's here which is crazy because to me. You have like optimum nutrition and muscle milken a couple like big box companies. That are right in Walmart. And you're they're everywhere they're everywhere in by the nature of their their quality in my opinion eventually starts to suffer. But that's just my personal opinion and then really what I would call the largest just private company is I form to me. They're everywhere and their stuff is really great. It's phenomenal product.
"ryan idell" Discussed on 15 Minutes to Freedom: A Warriorâ€™s Daily Focus on Journals and Meditations
"Life. Perhaps some episodes benefit you, and perhaps some don't. I love you coming along for this journey. I love you being here to watch and see me grow. I love those of you that have reached out to me from social media. Whether it's Instagram which my handles Ryan idell, an ideal the direct messages that I get their beautiful even the ones where you're mad at me. It causes me to grow and shift as a man as a person. I love it. I love it. If we can have an open dialogue, so that I can grow not if you attack me and are not open to discussing. Why you feel the way that you do with facts that back it up? I love the emails that I get really simple Ryan at life optimisation group dot com. I love the ones that are praising this and the value that I've added and a love the ones that say you should do better. As long as the ones that say, you should do better are willing to have a conversation to expand my capability and my horizon. Because I'm going to shift backwards and still reaffirm I don't claim to have all this figured out. What I do claim is that I am working diligently on the daily to increase my capacity to then hopefully help you increase your capacity. If you choose to apply the same lessons that I've learned without going through the pain and misery of experiencing it yourself. That's it. That's all it is. Right. I love the tribe that we're growing inside the life optimization Facebook group. It's completely commentary. There's three hundred some odd people there. Now, I'll round up say three fifty. I don't know the exact number. It's beautiful for me to see the interaction of people going back and forth and having that whole idea that pain shared his pain divided. Those are the beautiful parts of this. There's some part of this show. If there's some part of me that has you believing. That I say that I have this all figured out. If you hear me saying or you're receiving I have the best business in the world. And that I have the best relationship in the world. And that I have the best body in the world. And that I know exactly how to make sure that every person on the planet lives that way. I am sorry. I have given you that impression. That's not what my heart. Sharing very candidly. Talking to real time. As though you're sitting across me in my office in Columbus, Ohio. Exactly how I feel in this moment. This is where most of us including myself stop. We get locked in the feelings. The feelings are I feel defeated. I feel nervous. I feel anxious. I feel sad. I feel frustrated. I feel attacked. I feel angry. Those are all feelings, and my feelings are valid in this moment. Just as yours are valid in. Every moment you go through. No, one should discredit your feelings. What I would like to offer as perception shift for you is what if we dial it back and look at the facts for a moment. What are the facts of the situation that has caused me to feel this way? The facts is I've you them the facts of life, in my opinion. Are that I show up. I'm doing the best that I can I'm sharing messages that impact my life in a way that has not ever intended to despaired someone else. Those are my facts. My feelings are all those that I said because someone didn't receive them that way. Then I'm gonna shift to focus, right. What do I want to focus on here? I'm gonna focus on being more aware of what I say. I'm going to focus on adding even more value on a daily basis. I'm gonna focus on making the show on hundred percent still about my life lessons and people that I can bring onto shared their life lessons to make a positive impact in your life expecting zero in return. I don't want anything from you. Seriously. I would love it. If you leave me a review, I would love it. If you drop a comment somewhere. I would love it. If you re Tout's menu and trust in me to help guide you through season of your life that you're going through the youth. Think I have a key to unlock a door that you can walk through. I would love all that. But if you want to listen in for the next three years, and at least month to get to that four year benchmark. Without ever doing anything other than just consuming content. I love you nonetheless.
"ryan idell" Discussed on 15 Minutes to Freedom: A Warriorâ€™s Daily Focus on Journals and Meditations
"This is fifteen minutes to freedom. I'm your host Ryan idell. Today's episode of stop being so biased. To damage share with you. Why my own bias literally almost cost me tens of thousands of dollars. So by everywhere. Right now, as you look around how consuming the show there's bias you. Are living in now bison have to be something as significant racism or sexism? But there's bias there Riley. It's okay to have bias towards enjoying black cars versus white cars. Right. That's a bias. There's a bias towards enjoying Mexican food versus a talion food. That's a biased. There's a bias to enjoying football versus basketball. That's a bias. Right. Like part of the understanding where the show's going is having you recognize the bias doesn't necessarily have to be this catastrophic event. And some that we live with we all have preferences, by some preferences in my life and my world, or even by definition can almost be interchanged. And so I had this bias a long time ago had really it's crazy when I say a long time ago the better part of twenty weeks ago. That I was not supposed to coach women. It was just not on the radar right? My message who I am the coaching. I offered was one hundred percent for men. I don't ever had men clients before or male clients. As I put out an offer in this show to work with me, you know, it was called one of seven where seven individuals. I would discount on my prices to something that's phenomenally phenomenally, low versus the service that you get. And you only had to his Email in an ask about it. The largest episode I hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds and thousands thousand. However, you wanna say of emails of people that were interested in working with me. And wouldn't you know? The majority of them were female. By the age of that same, and I have to somewhat assume which I know what that can make me. That as you are listening right now, there's a chance you are a female yourself. I love you for that. I love you for that. Because when I started this evolution of podcasting. I had yet another bias story in my head. That story was the fact that I was not for women period. The fact that this show, my mindset methodology even the way that I spoke was one hundred percent guy guided towards. Men. If you go back and listen, the first thirty forty episodes of this show. Gosh, are I'm probably close to one eighty by this point. Go back to the first thirty or forty episodes, not only the quality of the audio sound different. But so do I. Little grass of a little more hard edges. Lot more vulgarity. It's a male dominated message. And I remember seeing feedback in one of the original. Reviews of this show from a woman little gave me like a one star review. This is incredible content. If you are a man, but there's nothing here for women. Man. That's Ivan had an episode about it. They literally launched a podcast episode defending my position Backman from place that was not wholehearted. You see understand for my current level reality in my perception of what I was doing. I was basically masking how actually felt by hopping on the Mike and being able to share and participate about how great the show was for everybody. And how this woman had no idea what she was talking about. It was actually because I knew what she was saying was correct. I just didn't want to face it. It just factual I go through this life. I can speak to a man a certain way, and I can speak to woman another way I can kind of just be the best version myself, speak with comes to mind and let who supposed to listen to it and hear it receive it. After all that's why you're here right now. For whatever the reason for whatever the time of day, you have decided to give me an opportunity to fill your ears with something of value. I love you for that. Both men and women. But I've walked down this path. And now have more coaching clients at our females than I do that are males. I have some phenomenal rockstar women. Business owners top sales executives movers. Shakers people have are travelling all over the globe right now. Like, I have some incredibly impactful women that are literally changing the way that they live their lives based off how we work together. More times than not they are quicker to adopt a coaching protocol. They are quicker to say, yes, they are quicker to pay. They are more thorough. They follow through to higher capacity, and they end up getting more shit done. I love you ladies for that. I get it on the man, I procrastinate I come up with all the reasons why this won't work. My ego gets in the way, right? There's a bunch of reasons why men are hard headed. And so I'm running through filter. Right. I'm having this new sense of awareness. I understand that. I had bias. I understand that the podcast of all just as I have volved as a man like where did this come from? Why would I have coach women? Why was I convinced that I couldn't possibly have this show appeal to ladies? Was it because of? Me that couldn't be it had to be because the outside world it had to be because if you didn't have a penis between your legs. There's no way you would like something that another Pena's has to say. Proven. That's wrong. Right. Statistically, I know. That's not actually true statement. So when the world wasn't. That it comes to me last week while I was in Dallas, Texas sitting across from one of my female clients. And I'm sitting there, and we're catching up on him talking to her about her business, and where she's going and her relationship and her, spirituality and her body and things. And I look at her, and I share with how product of her for all the changes that she's made. You see I don't inherently believe that anybody's flutter broken. When we come across each other. I believe that you are living phenomenal life right now. And you just want to increase your capacity. You want to be more of who you already are. So I don't have some way there's not a steadfast like here's a road to success steps. One through twelve. That's a how it works with me. What I do with men and women is build them up from the inside with find out where you've been stock. We find out what you wanna scale what you want to focus on. Then we come up with healthy habits. Mindsets behavioral patterns and actionable daily and weekly items to guide you towards that desired outcome that you came up with. And the missile one of these sessions, I share with her. How proud I am of her. And I share with her that I can't believe the change that has occurred in her and just six Ray weeks, and how different her life is. Realized that efficiency in my previous mindset in in my operating system. You see? There was never an actual time in which I didn't want to work with women. There was never time in which I thought that I could not help women. There was never a time in which I thought that my message would not avenge hit a woman's ears. What there were times in which I didn't trust myself or any of those variables to actually happen. You see if I shared my life, so openly on this show. I had been unfaithful to every woman I had ever dated all throughout my twenty s and into my early thirties including but not limited to Mike urrent wife. My only wife, the only wife I will ever have.
"Your host Ryan idell. Today's episode is I'm disappointed in myself. Today's episode on my share with you why it's so easy to turn a blind eye from things that are important to you and end up with massive disappointed on the backside. So befriend that I've spoken about a few times on the show. His name is Laurent Small's L E R R O D S M A L L S. Laurent one of the gentlemen, one of the brothers that I met inside the wake-up warrior brotherhood. Wake up or you some that I've been a part of for quite some time founded by guy named geared Jay white. If you're interested in what that is head over wake up worried dot com. I am not an affiliate. I don't get paid for that me going through their programs and methodology has completely changed who I am as a person. Gotta pay credit where credit is due. And that's what the basis for this. Very conversation is. Is he rod Smalls was one of the first men that I came across inside the warrior group. Now. A rod fortunately or unfortunately, as we refer to a Smalls in the first event that I went to which was a three hundred person event. The rods stuck out a little bit. See Smalls a sees. So. Eloquently referred to. Is one of the only black guys in the room? He. A few other men. That's it a room of three hundred people he is less than ten percent of the room. Small's is also boisterous outgoing, caring compassionate, humorous. He's gregarious. There's almost an infectious way that we are all drawn to Smalls. So inside of this group. There is not really a blacker white were all together as one but nonetheless racial understanding exists. Although we are not the same. We are the same. And Smalls knife. For whatever reason hit it off. Not so much that we stay in touch necessarily. But enough that we remember each other work with me here this this becomes relevant. Fast forward almost an entire next year. Many things one on both his knives life. There's been changes upheavals. There's been things that have moved. And I might be having part of the story wrong. Doesn't really much matter. Land in southern California landed the venom at the airport. I'm flying from one city miles my best friend of the time is flying in from Columbus, Ohio. We're in the airport. I'm waiting for him to get there. And then I see Smalls and Kendrick guys that I met actually business summit, which was just a few months earlier. I see them. Hey, guys, this is miles. We we meet we connect wind up going to a local restaurant. Grab by teat right around the corner from the airport. Who do that? 'cause we hit it off. We're sharing stories. I'm talking marketing. They're gonna know miles getting to know them better. Right. We're seeing the trials and tribulations that we've all went through and were excited for world succumb over the next two and a half days in in Laguna beach. We go down to Guna beach. We spend that time together and our bond grows deeper. Now, we've exchanged numbers Kendrick Smalls miles. An I. And there's a bond an actual brotherhood. That's now been created. I share this. Because over the next few months. Small's and miles. I we all stay in touch. If you knew the show, you wouldn't know the miles my best friend of the time passed away March third of Dow last year. Small's living in New York City Brooklyn to be specific. Realizes this communicates back and forth. With can't remember this point. If it's myself my wife received things online takes it upon himself to hop in his car to clock in the morning and drive across the country. To be at his calling hours celebration of life, burial service, whatever the right term is. Now, here's a man that I've spent at most three days within my life had a handful conversations with have a bond with. But didn't know it was the strong who Hobson's car and drives across the country to support me and time need. He also had a close bond with miles. So make sense as to why he came. But he drove he stayed for a bite to eat that he got back in his car. Andro back to New York. As time progresses. I end up going to war your week, which is a different event cover that on other shows. Small's eventually goes to war your week. Him. And I stay in touch..
"This is fifteen minutes of freedom. I'm your host Ryan idell and today's episode is digging like a dog and today's episode I want to share with you one of the most impactful lessons. I learned from our dog trainer who trained do some Roman by two pit bulls. So this story admittedly comes from. Something that bedrose shared at Ryan Maran's capitalism conference that I've been at for the past three days. As I'm sitting in the crowd, myself and five hundred other people. Consuming content giving each other networking masterminding all the things that you do at an event. I gentlemen, name betas hops up on the stage in his sharing some impactful things. And he sharing a story. About dogs having purpose, and it instantly triggers in my mind, some things that. My trainer. Our trainer. Lindsey is trainer for Zeus and Roman share with us. So Zeus is are people that has cancer right regretfully? We had him at the vet today. He's on his I can't say last round of chemo of like the last shot hail Mary fourth quarter of being able to provide him some sort of chance at relief of his cancer burden. The likelihood of that working is very very slim. Conservatively we have four weeks left with Zeus aggressively on the far side. Maybe we have twelve weeks. Right. Like, we're cherishing the time we have. But we realize it's coming to an end. Zeus has been the most loving respectful he listened. He's a great pit bull. Our Little Brown guy Roman who I refer to as the emperor not so much, right? The emperor has very specific way about him his own personality. He's hard headed. He stubborn. And so we had to get dog trainers in the house. Not only at the house. We actually sent the dogs away for training as well. I send them away for a week real. Maybe it was ten days to a boot camp. This was later in life. Right. So they both already learned the fair share bad habits. So we sent them this boot camp, they come home, and they literally feel like different dogs. They listen. They have little shock collars. They wear on their neck if we can just hold the remote in our hand and say things with them. And there's commanded they know and becomes more impactful. Now for those of you that are listening that are concerned about a shock collar. This is such a mild pulse. Like, I put it on my hand before it's very humane. It's not aggressive. It just a correction. Not a thing of aggression either. It's more of like just a little tap on the back. Like, hey, you should be going over here and doing this. But then like that tap on the back. Right. They want to be pleasing. They. They're great animals are great pets are great parts of our family. Venture. We have the same trainer come to our house. Right because learning a facility is one thing but seeing how the dogs interact in our household is a completely different. Succumb to the house and Roman is very door aggressive, and if you come in are the front door house, you ring our doorbell, he literally his so aggressive. He rips the wood off the frame around the door. He just wants to get whatever's there. But if you came in the side door came in the garage or you walk right in like, nothing's the matter. You can pet him play with him touch him. He's fine. It's incredible. And zeus. The original pit bull. The the oh p is I call him. He's just relaxed. He barks we sat he's got a deep voice, but his tail's wagging. He's completely calm. But as a dog trainer comes in the house in his sharing with us pit bulls personalities and specifically the difference in personalities between our two dogs. She shares with us that the reason the dogs act up is because they're not given a purpose. That our dogs liked to have purpose in their life. And the purpose could be nothing. More than to please us. And so as we go for walks, they they feel like they're being given a task and by being given a task of staying in a certain Reno spacial recognition to ourselves as were walking. Or when they're they're told to stay in place or they're told to move around. And they're giving commands and then rewarded for those commands? They feel like they're living very purpose driven life. But the minute that the rains are taken off. And the purpose is taken off all hell breaks loose. Everything goes to the wayside. Romans attacking the door Zeus is running around like a crazy, man. Zeus is a little bit of a fat kid we call him. So he's trying to give off the counter. It's like all the things that would go wrong in a household pertains of dogs instantly happened inside of our four walls. All based off the dogs. Don't have purpose. And so what brands are Badri springs up in our in our masterminding our group in our conference. As he had some labradors. And when the labradors weren't given purpose they dig holes.
"This is fifteen minutes of freedom. I'm your host Ryan idell. In today's episode is the rabbit hole. In today's episode. I'm going to discuss with you some incredible insight. I got from floating for two and a half hours this morning and why I'm convinced you should try it yourself. So I want to share with you. I am of course, not sponsored by a float spa. I don't have an affiliation to afloat spy don't have a hidden agenda. What I do have now is a ton of time under tension. What I mean by that is I spent a lot of time floating. A lot of time. And I happen to go. The only place in Columbus Ohio that exists called true rest spot. I go to one in Powell very close to where lindzen I live and as a tree to myself for the past fourteen weeks of coaching clients and training people in pouring into them. I had made a series of appointments for two and a half hours for three days in a row. I did that give or take a month and a half ago. No have to honor the commitment. And so it was the last session of that stretch of time admitted I had to cancel Thursdays, and Fridays some scheduling conflicts and things that are more important. And so I get to go into this really Deplace those of you that haven't ever floated before it is a sensory deprivation experience. There is no light. There is no sound. You are sitting on six to eight maybe ten inches of water that has a tremendous amount of salt in it. I think about a thousand pounds of salt. And what does does it makes your body completely buoyant? I refer to it. And in my mind, it kind of brings us back to being in your mother's womb. I we can all agree that we all came from our mother, and that one was a dark place a warm place a place where we got to experience weightlessness a place where anything was possible. That's what I found every time that I went to the float spot. Well, every time other than the first the first time was incredibly uncomfortable. Because every part of me wanted to fight the experience. I folks on the heat folks on the humidity. I folks on one is my time going to be up. How does this end? What if somebody comes in the room, right because there's all these control mechanisms that we try to establish as human beings, we want to create labels to define things. And once we define them that we can understand them by understanding things. It's a kind of a state of control, right? We're able to control our perception of that reality. Well, that end up being the big gift from today's float. Now. I must share that in this float the two and a half hours. I have consistently been trying to hack my own operating system. I've shared on a multitude of different episodes share with you right now to consider that the phone that you're listening this to this on or the computer or Howard digesting this content. You get pushed a series of notifications. Whether it's once a month or once every two months that it's time to operate upgrade the operating system. There's a new latest and greatest version. And that new latest greatest version can serve you in a higher capacity. And here I sit recording on iphone ten s plus whatever it is. Right. The latest and greatest I had to have it when I look around the office, and I'm recording these podcasts on a series of different iphones. I've got fives and sixes and sevens. I've got pluses, right? There's there's been this progression. But in your life right now, what are you doing to upgrade your own operating system? Right. There's no push notification. The comes. Certainly some of this very podcast is what? Turns you into or opens up some new pathways for you to hack your own operating system. Now, I've taken this to an extreme. That's the nature of my personality. I own that. And I love that about myself. There's Juve red lights. There's true dark glasses. There's floats spas. There's potions and lotions and pills and bulletproof coffee and reading and Jim quicks quick. Reading course. And I'm doing everything that I know how to do to upgrade my human experience as it sits. Now, hence the life optimization group. I believe that I have tapped into ways to optimize your life in its fullest, capacity. By the nature of that. There's this taboo that exists around plant based medicine. Right. We can look at as I've shared on other episodes. I am part of the Deir generation the drug abuse resistance education generation in which we were told that all drugs are bad and inevitably by taking those drugs bad things are gonna happen you end up dead or in jail and all these things can go on. I believe that to be true. My entire life of Dilip has two years. At some point when the federal government decided to start to allow medicinal marijuana. And the now recreational marijuana to be smoked. It's not my thing. More power to you, if a deer is it's just not for me. Like, all right. Well, while the sudden where we told twenty years ago, this was the most horrible thing on the planet. But now there's so much research that shows the positive benefits that exists by consuming it in controlled situations. That flipped a switch on my brain to start to consider what other possibilities that? I have been holding true to myself that might not actually be true. Then even deeper is will go down this rabbit hole. Together. What is true versus what is fiction? And so it was shared in other episodes we've bounced along down this path of plant based medicine and psychedelic experiences. Incredibly fortunate to have an impact will conversation with brandy and connected to brandy Jerry, the two founders of rid Mia in Costa Rica, had this conversation yesterday rid MIA'S are Y T H M I A. Rid? Mea is the foremost a call training facility upgrade facility as it pertains to plant based medicine into five star resort and Costa Rica? They take you through a whole seven day experience in which you do yoga and meditation and farm-to-table food, and you take all the detoxing things then you have a four day plant based medicine experience with a substance called, Iowa SCA. Now, I ask is its own product unsown part of nature, and it does things with D M T. It's a slow released EMT product inside your body. And that's a conversation that we'll get to have as a collective tribe. As lyndon. I go down there for a seven day experience. I'm going to document the entire thing. Videographer daily podcast journaling blog posts, you name it. I'm going to share what all that has like. In my conversations with brandy yesterday. We bring up the fact of mushrooms and what they mean. And how great they are as they come from the earth. And how those this perception that they have to be bad or you're a stone or drug addict or a hippy, right? There's all these check boxes that we put as we put labels on things. So that we can define them. So that we can understand them. So we can feel safe. That's what we do. We are pattern based creatures you. And I my friend. We are hyper vigilant at recognizing patterns. We don't really have the computer brain will. I think we have we have a pattern recognition software that we get to run. I share with you this big lead up into the mushroom cut side of conversations because I found that in taking very small doses of mushrooms, it's like the Instagram filter that we all put ourselves through finally gets lifted. Sounds are more clear colors are more bright, my cognitive function is certainly increased backed up with an EEG, right. There's things that go onto Tessa monitor. This my creativity is through the roof. Now from your perception of reality. You could think that I may different person whether good or bad based off of me making that decision. I love you forty the way I'd love to hear about it. If you think what I'm sharing is bad drop me a note, send me an Email sent me the positive responses. You've got I'm okay, this is to open up a conversation between us all as a community. But I take a very very small dose of mushrooms, what would refer to bases microdosing little bit higher than that today. And I take a series of Nutro picks that I've been taking every day for the past month. This is a double edged sword for me. This is a almost a double awakening. I'll call it. Because already buy from the Nutro picks. My neuro pathways are much more primed. They're much more efficient. It's like I'm able to think more clearly imagine if you will the movie limitless with Bradley Cooper, where he takes that ends E T pill and magically he can recall things from his lifetime that he doesn't even remember reading. That will be overselling exactly what Nutro picks do. But it's pretty close for those of you to try and Madonna final or a dolphin all or any of the Peraza Tam Arasteh Tam neuropathy. These products are almost revolutionary. They certainly show me. What's possible of increasing? What's already in me? Right. It's it's upgrading my operating system. It's making me feel more present of who. I am right now. And less of who I didn't think I was capable of being. So take those prior to the experience of kind of all in one shake, but take this a small amount of these. Mushrooms from the earth and go to the float session. And Embi sensory deprivation of a flow tank that has completely blackened dark with no sound. No, wait. No concept of time. Is closed and just being an existing in the moment. It's like you can tap into a higher sense of yourself. Now, I would have said the universe before. And not that I don't inherently re with that. I believe there is something that we are ascending towards it. I will refer to as a collective consciousness. There is something higher that is able to push information into us. Right. Where do thoughts come from? Where did new idea stem from how do they get conjured up? Think the thought that you are now thinking in this moment where did that come from who gave it to you? It's crazy when you start going down that particular rabbit hole, but that's not the one we're venturing down today. Sees I go through this experience and spend two and a half hours and sensory deprivation, I'm loving every minute of it. It's dawning on me all the different pieces and parts of life that we try to define. And why we try to define them in the methodology of keeping us safe. Because if we could understand things, and we can understand things by putting a definition on them. That now with that definition comes a heightened sense of awareness, and with a heightened sense of wariness can come heightened sense of safety. We all fear. What we don't know. So if we can pick up patterns of things that we do know, then that makes us feel more stable as people. I'm thinking about your life right now as I'm speaking to you. Where are you having patterns make you feel good and safe or I can rephrase it and say, where's the unknown making you feel nervous? Inevitably everywhere. So what ends up happening in this experience? For me is I'm realizing. The difference between external internal at least as a pertains to my level. Perceptive reality. Right. Like, we all sit there if you are owned lens and create what we think to be right from wrong. Good from bad. I like if I'm a devote Christian. And that means Christianity has to be the right religion to follow. And so that's my definition of safety. So I had here to that. So that then creates Christianity is real to me because my perception of that reality makes it so that it is truly mine I own it. But the opposite said if I believe in Judaism right now of sudden Christianity is not the the benchmark the gold standard. Judaism is. And this goes on and on right? We've talked Republican democrat. We can talk races. We can talk sexual preferences. Right. Whatever we have is what we deem to be right. There's certainly almost they're open minded everything for those of you that think like I do. I love you for it for those of you that think very closed minded, I also love you just the same. We just don't see eye to eye on that, particular instance. Which then pivots me into the fact of what is reality. And who creates it? We want to say from a scientific mind that there was a big bang. And with that big bang. The universe was created as we know it. There were series of evolution and Darwinism magically. We sit here as human beings we define that. Because we seek definition because definition yet again keeps us comfortable or safe. The opposite of that is well, God created the universe. Threw god. We just right now, Adam and eve. Garden of Eden. And through that level definition understanding that keeps us safe.
"Fifteen minutes of freedom. I'm your host Ryan idell. Today's episode is Saturday with my wife, Betty. Today. We're gonna dive right into it. It's working with your spouse. We have had his shift in trajectory as a couple not only from this podcast, which have been incredible blessing honor to connect with you all. But also from the fact of the coaching business and the public speaking and. Be events and jumping into coaching. Yeah. We're doing relationship coaching. I'm doing coaching on my own it just there's there's a lot of variables of now. Right. And in the interim, we made mention this unless week podcast. I thought, you know, currently Lindsey for the past two and a half years has been in a position where she hasn't necessarily had to work right yet. A Redan fields business. For how long right is still active. But nothing you're really pursuing consistent right now on the side and sound like would you be open to helping me like I need somebody to help. We're at the point where it's it's grown too much. There's too many things going on and the staff we have his amazing at right? We have a great group here. And but there's just so much on everybody's plate. Can I take some of that? I I ask you constantly. What can I do to help? You know, how how can I help you? And we found that rather than hire somebody and pay them. I would step in and start doing some of this stuff. Which is wonderful. It's a great conceptual idea to start on a path. And I'm not saying it's not gonna being a wonderful idea. But it's interesting because Lindsey steps in and start with of course, I'm thinking drink from the fire hose like I'm a quick start by nature. I am somebody that okay. I got all these things went through my head and let me just get them out. And I need somebody to run with them. I don't wanna I don't other than getting out once I don't have to the with rain doesn't Ryan likes to be like here. Can you you know, figure out a way to make this stick on the wall to forty five degree angle with seventeen pieces that are gonna hang from it. But we can only use. I only wanna see one nail. Will. It might be about example. But something like that. Yeah. I want that done. And then everybody else kind of sit around and look at each other like is he fucking insane. Like does he know that that's possible or not possible? And he doesn't care. He just wants to show up and have it happen. A lot of that is true. A lot of truth to that. So much of what we're going to refer to. On this episode comes from something called the life optimisation test. Yes. So it's life after relation test. I com- if you're listening to the show believe you can get in with the discount code message me on social media semi Email for the discount code to take it because it's a four hundred dollars Cessna is not an expensive. If you're supporting me, I want to support you, and they'll be no cost associated with it. You just gotta ask code. But I know that because from what Lindy just expressed my industrious score is like a ninety nine like, I'm somebody. I will say if you're in a foxhole, and you need to figure out how to get out, and you have limited resources. I'm your macgyver. Like, I'm the one you want around you like I'm going to sit there and tinker and work and map things out in my mind until I figure out how to make whatever it is happen. That's just how I work I realize after although Lindsey had taken the assessment she'd went through it. And although had looked at scores. I didn't consciously like store that particular variable my head like I didn't remember. So for me when I say something out loud like, you know, whatever it is. We'll take this hang this thing on the wall. These apple into just gave in my mind is I'm in a question on like how to get it done because it's just I just know I could figure out how to get it done. Her industriousness score is an eighty now the scores are not good or bad. There is not one that's better than another. It's not a comparative measure between Lindsay ni-, everyone has their own way that their mind is mapped out all of us. Right. And that's exactly what the test. Does. It just shows you how your mind processes and how it lays out. That's it. Yeah. And I was not consciously aware of that variable. So just by the nature of that one conversation over the past two weeks. She's been working. I have been getting more and more frustrated because it didn't feel like there was enough. I didn't feel like there were shit getting done. Just didn't. But I bring it up, and I bring it to her wariness the two neat. Because at the moment, I share that with you you feel compared to a sheet of paper. Right. You said something along the lines. Yeah. He wanted. He wanted something outrageously not simple to be done. The first part was simple. The the back end of this is not simple. And he said it, and then two days later was like well is done. You gotta be kidding. You have no idea what it's going to take to accomplish this or the amount of time or people are effort our hours. And so I went no, it's not done. Well, I should have looked at your industrious score. And I just wanted to be like, are you kidding me? Right now. I am more than a sheet of paper. Fuck your scores. She was super Gumbo pot Humous for about twenty four hours straight. And I wasn't even aware when I said it right men. You know, when you say something near lady, your wife, your girlfriend, whatever it is. You know, when you say that thing, and they look at you, and you feel the energy shift right away. Whether it's. In the car, whether it's impersonal dinner, and you're like. Right. Because my mom didn't say anything malicious. There was nothing condescending. There was nothing at all. Just verbalize. The fact of high wonder what your score is. Right. Because it helps it helps me understand how to communicate with people in the most advantageous way possible for their personality. It's not to change you or anyone. And so we eventually cover that together. Right. We figure that out the next day 'cause I float for a couple of hours and come up with the. Really understanding the fact that we all have our own wiring. And you have things that you are far superior to me in officiency, and I have things up superior to you as we all do. Right. You as you're listening. You have your own things that matter to you. And so that also in that same conversation, I'm realizing the fact from her test score, and this is not a plug for the test. It's just the way our conversation went it's truly we talk about the test that her narcissism score was very high. But her ego score was not so high. Now, let me put that into contextual understanding if you the way that we interpret the internal results narcissism is not a bad thing. Now, we're projection of how you are showing up, and you want the world to perceive, you write very strong, very boisterous. I got all my stuff together. The ego is kind of that internal chatter of how you actually feel by yourself inside. Yeah. There's not a good or bad. Those are just variables that I like to see people having some sort of alignment, depending on what they do for a living. So here, I am asking my lovely wife. If she will support me, the compassionate side of her the carrying side of her which is like off the chart like eight percent minds like twelve. And it's not my mind higher than that. But in ingest. The compassion side of her wants to support me because she's my wife, and she loves me. And she knows that that she supposedly that makes her feel good, and she's not capable of doing it because she is in a certain capacity. What I realized from the variables matter MO says she doesn't want to be in the background. She wants to be in the foreground background person. Like, she likes to be on the podcast. She does wanna coach she wants to be out. I'm noticing. This all is she's picking up pensive social media posting and this is all happened since you've been around the office. Right. Like, right. So much of it. I think I'll take ownership of it. You're seeing how it all works and some of it's rubbing off on you, write your different mental state. Well, and it's something new and exciting for me, challenge wise because I love this stuff. I geek out about it seeing the results from from helping people in in getting them through things is crazy rewarding. And just then they're intern able to teach that stuff to other people, which is even more rewarding. And it's something new that I can venture into conquering because my whole background is medicine Fenner medicine, not the same thing as as is relationship coaching or are one on one coaching of that. Right. And we both adhere to the. Act of a really simple methodology of learn live than lead cracked if you were to ever coach with us again, not a plug. But if you went down that path of us, you will hear at the end of almost every video every phone call every everything you need to teach somebody because you can't teach it if you don't know. And if you don't know what you can't live it. So why would you be working with us? If you can't do that. Right. Because I truly believe for me to impact one hundred twenty five million people's lives. It's gonna take more than just me. It's gonna take you sharing. This message with somebody else and that trickle down effect. I might not know one hundred twenty five million people, but I know before cash out that that many people will will be affected results for people because it it changes the way that you've you your life. You feel about your life. You feel about yourself your family feels about it. It's it's just a major lifestyle shift. It is. And so to get to that point though to get to the point this was just Tuesday of this week, right? So. The previous week. I'm looking like what did she actually doing enough from like, no that even the tone of my voice came out kind of saying it wasn't meant to its effective. We never sat down and mapped out the actual hours that she could put in to working with me. Because admittedly, no problem saying she is the one that takes John the school. She's one that picks you up from school. She takes John gym gymnastics John's elect ride horses together. Let's takes care of the house. Right. There's there's things that are items at Lindsay is doing every day, which I love. So we sat down and had to map out like what is a real potential for the number of hours that you can actually either be at the office or work from home. Else expectations are alive because what was happening probably no different than in your relationship. It doesn't have to be you're working together. If they're somewhere where you feel stock where you feel frustrated angry dead us any acronym analogy want. It's probably because there's a lack of communication and understanding. Right. That what you are expecting is different than what your partners expecting. And because there hasn't been communication about. It becomes much more difficult to find an alignment so here. I am feeling what the hell is she doing? And she is on her side. Probably crushingly. I'm working my ass off. Yeah. Like, I've got the sheets with the lists in the boxes are all fucking checked. And he's like, what are you doing? I'm like, are you kidding me? Right now one it's because we didn't sat down and really sit down ever. And really look at the fact of okay, there's only two and a half days a week that she can really be at the office for full day Mondays Fridays and a little bit on Tuesdays and a little bit on Tuesdays. I think we eleven to three thirty or something like that. That doesn't mean it's bad or good. It's just the facts, right? I'm not mad at the facts because I get them. Now, I work from home because we still need groceries in our house in food on our table in laundry done, and chemo appointments and all kinds of crap that goes on just knowing for me that those days are less productive days. Now, I also shared it on if it's not this episode is one before if you live in Columbus, anywhere around Columbus. If you live in Ohio you live somewhere else would want to relocate to Columbus. We're going to need someone to help and that project manager role because that's really what Lindsay doing. She's not an assistant. She's not wiping my rear end. She's not doing any of that stuff. It's here's all the stuff. We have to get done please help figure out how to get it done and shuffled through the process, right? Which becomes another unique point for me?
"This is fifteen minutes to freedom. I'm your host Ryan idell. Today's episode is usually quit working. So I don't know about yourself. But I grew up or have been growing up in this era of Don, stop work. Right. Like think about it. Think about the people that you know, right now that you would want to emulate. Maybe it's people from social media. Maybe it's a local business owner. Maybe it's I don't know who could be right. But we all have these people that we want to emulate that. We wish we could be like at least be like an success of their business. And. Got me thinking especial especially over this weekend. What are these people have that? I don't have do I want what they have. And my answer was an astounding, no. Do you? Why? You see growing up in this world of the nonstop hustle. The consistent grind the twenty four hours a day. You might as well work twenty of them and only sleep four. I live that. That was my life that was my life in two separate seasons. One season was the automotive industry. That was something where I was working Belda bell as we would call it seven days a week typically at the office by nine not leaving till nine at night. So roughly mathematically working about eighty four hours a week Dobbs tonight everyday was out of nine and not every day was in nine. So it might have been as much as ninety hours a week. That's two fulltime jobs, plus them. But I was prepared to do that. Right. Because that was what I was told I needed to do to get ahead. Is he balanced was something. I didn't think I needed nor. Did I have someone explain it to me as though I'm going to explain it to you see the path that I was on. I was convinced simply meant work more than everybody else work Harlan. Everybody else eventually worked smarter than other people and you'll have the position. Not inherently saying that thought process method algae is wrong or bad. There's a season for everything in your life. And the automotive industry the sales capacity, the dealership management, whatever you wanna call it. It taught me valuable lessons lessons that I could never have gotten to where I'm at today without having learned one of those lessons as I don't want to have to work ninety hours a week to get ahead. Yes, I'll say it again. I don't want to have to work ninety hours a week to get ahead. Not believe for my current vantage point that there has to be a merica balance in our lives in which I'm able to actually get more done in less time, if I'm more holistically fulfilled, but we'll get to that in a moment. Because the next season my life in which I hadn't completely adopted and learned that lesson was I was selling custom clothing. See I was the guy that would wake up at four o'clock in the morning to drive the five hours over to Chicago for two reasons. One reason I didn't have the money to pay for an airplane ticket to it wasn't that much more efficient, especially with what I was doing. So I had to drive I would get up at four o'clock in the morning. I'd make the five hour drive from Columbus, Ohio to Chicago, Illinois. Then I'd be there for appointments all day long. Which was great right and make make some money. Meet some new clients have some new friends do all this great stuff. But then it gets nine at night Chicago time. Our behind where I'm at here in Columbus. Ohio and call my wife, if she'd be going to bed for the day, ask me, how appointments went I'd hopefully be sharing successes and victories. Then that's okay. I'm coming home. And she's a white one. Yes, I'm coming home. If I spend the night in a hotel here, not only does a burn up the next day of productivity back home. But it's also money that we shouldn't really be spending right now. So here I am doing what I had to do for family, but I'm really burning the candle both ends. And as I look what was happening there. Productivity wise, my productivity for the next day was completely shot. Right. If I drove home through the night got home at three or four in the morning. I would sleep until ten or eleven that day ho-hum around the house and of. But eventually get my rear end in gear. But it was eventually. And with that eventual
"This is fifteen minutes of freedom. I'm your host Ryan idell. And today's episode is decision fatigue. Today's episode. I'm going to share with you why I know with complete certainty. That you're running out of time on the decisions that you have. What you stop and think right now. Think of all the decision. You have made already today. Satistics? I know the majority of the downloads on this show happen sometime on your commute to work. That's when this gets downloading consumed some of the Sooners, you listen to this that's already happened. So it's rattle through the decisions that I know you would have had to have made. You would have had made the decision to shut off your arm clock to get out of bed to make your better to not make your bed to brush your teeth or to not to shower to not to use the restroom or to not what socks you're gonna wear. What underwear you're gonna wear what pants shirt, you're gonna style? Your hair? Hi, gonna brush your teeth. We eat in the morning. How much what are you gonna drink coffee? What added if you're gonna put your coffee. Do you have a lunch packed where you're gonna eat lunch at? Did. You kiss your kids. Goodbye. Did you kiss your wife? Goodbye did because your husband goodbye. Do. You know what they're doing today? Do you know if you after work? Don't even start on. What happens when to leave your house and get into all the things you have to do to make it to work. Now, this is a conscious decisions. Right. Wanna turn when to break wanna look in your mere? But these are all decisions these are occupying mental space. So you think about all these questions that you've had to answer prior to this moment in your day? I must know ask you yet. Another question. Thing about the days that wind down where you're just shot. Were you up saying some lines of I don't have any more gas tank a mentally exhausted? So must be honest with you right now that is one of those days for me, I'm recording this at seven eight on Friday night that means of had thirty five plus hours of coaching clients. I've done all the fun things. I get to do. Plus you training videos record podcasts. Try to be a part of a family go to the gym all the things, right? All the decisions and surprised to this episode. I had a conversation with my developer about some software that we're building into the on boarding system for my clients. And he's asking me questions, and I literally feeling various feeling very sharp intelligent. I'm unable to formulate a decision. Think about that. This is my business how I earn a living. This is high create value for the marketplace. This is how I feel good about myself every day and my developer still working. He still cares. Just I must say as Curtis still working. He still in the office recording this. But physically when he asked me to make a decision. I'm sorry. I can't do it. I gotta stop. I'm outta decisions today. And I get it right now, you're thinking like what do you mean you're out of decisions? What do you think happens to you? When you've used all of your brain processing ability for the day. This is typically when most people drive home, I can't wait to have a drink. I can't wait to sedate old. But I can't wait to put my feet up on the Ottoman. Maybe it some potato chips watch some TV into shut off from the world. That your body saying enough, we have no more decisions left. Which crazy thing is that all ends up being in some level based off the expenditure of energy that you have inside of you. Right. We have tens of millions. If not billions of little mighty Condra inside of every cell, which create all the energy that we need to live throughout the day. We have healthy mitochondria we have half dead mighty Andrew. We have three quarter Qendra. Thing is when they burn for energy, they re replicate and they reenergize very quickly. But at the level, which they reenergize you get to choose he had to choose based off of how fresh and how new they are when they've last regenerated. But there's ways there's tips. There's tricks to help them regenerate more quickly. I've shared some those on a biohacking it episode between cold showers and healthy fats and removing many carbohydrates getting adequate sleep wearing these silly glasses to block blue light. There's numbers of things that can be done to increase your mind counter function. I'll enough as not what does episodes about. What happens when you've done all those things, and you still get to the end of day, and your burnt there is no more energy left. All you want to do is stop. Why does that happen? Which have no surprise with the title of this episode because of decision fatigue you've made too many decisions. So how do we stop? What do we do? What's crazy? We think of or when I have thought of all the pointless decisions that I make as you have watched this episode potentially inside of my Instagram or Facebook or YouTube or every consume this regretfully for listen to this via DO you've never seen. What I look like other than the show notes in the picture. I'm fine with that. But if you watch my incest, or your watch my Facebook, you'll see that I cycle through give or take the same eight shirts. They're playing. They're solid colors. There's no pattern to them. I have three pairs of jeans that I wear there all by the same company. They all fit the same way. They're all some Hugh of the same color. I try to now get down in my underwear. So they're all the same color. I have us count the number that I have base off when I do laundry. All my socks are the same. I've now even convinced my wife to allow me to leave things on the kitchen counter. So I don't have to search for them in the morning as I'm creating concoctions and drinks that I do to benefit who I am. I do all these because I I realize the less decisions I have to make in the morning. The more can be on almost auto-pilot the less. I have to burn up mental energy the more decisions more efficacy. I to operate with later on the day. Thinking about it, though, the hallway that I live my life Hoy. I'm encouraging you to consider living your life as to do a series of things to put you in personal power opera. Optimize, your production everyday. I do those and they've been come so repetitive. I don't have to check them off a box. I just know them. Like, I know that I'm going to brush my teeth, right? My toothbrush always goes in the same spot the toothpastes in the same spot my washes in the same spot, my soaps in the shower in the same spot. Right. The more things that I can systematize automate the less. I have to make decisions. When you have to make less decisions. One is happening is you're able to think more clearly later on in the day. I'm not saying live your life on autopilot. Make no mistake. I want you to be present. I want you feel motions. I want you to know all the tooling around you. But do you think it's easier or harder to do that? If you've wasted mental energy on pointless decisions earlier. When I bring up a company like clean needs Seattle, E A N ATC dot
"This is fifteen minutes of freedom. I'm your host Ryan idell. In today's episode is don't feel sorry for me. In today's episode. I'm gonna take you back in time to one of the darker moments in my in my life. So if you've been a longtime listener the show. You understand that I've been very vocal with my previous indiscretions right him. Not proud to say it. But I had been unfaithful to every woman that I had ever dated. It's not a badge of honor. It's not something unfounded my chest about it's just simply facts. And I believe it so imperative to deal in facts, right? Feelings cloud our vision, we get to those eventually once we deal with the facts. And I bring all this up because I was having a conversation with a an individual sometime in the past two or three days. I admittedly don't recall exactly when this conversation was what I do recall is the conversation took a turn. That brought up this memory that. I don't know if I had repressed suppressed intentionally forgotten about or what had happened. But nonetheless, it brought up this time that I wanna share with you right now. So go back with me, the better part of six years. Actually this year. It'll be I think close to seven. Two thousand twelve two thousand thirteen somewhere in there. It's the middle of summer, I'll say, June or July. Todd outside. Life is beautiful. At this point. I'm living in a small apartment in a little suburb of Columbus, Ohio named Dublin. Now moving this apartment, and I'm up to my typical shenanigans. At this point. I've gotten myself in this conundrum. That ends up having four different women. Be fulltime residents of my life. Now when I say fulltime residents, this is not a thing in which I was housing them in an apartment building. This was that I had four full-time girlfriends at thought by how manipulative I was that. I was their one and only and vice versa. And at this point is I'm starting this story, it might be closer to eight years ago. So forgive me for not recalling the exact timetable. And it's middle summer. And I am this point. I'm still working at a web hosting company at this point, I'm titled president and CEO, but I'm certainly not operating as one. You see I have a firm belief at this point in life that how you do one thing is how you do everything. And as I was living my life, this duality of infidelity versus perceived monogamy. So was going on inside the business. Right. I realized now that we weren't capitalizing on opportunities are revenue is not increasing because I wasn't focused. It was easy for me to point out word and blame other people. We didn't have the right sales staff, which was my responsibility, we had too much overhead which was my responsibility. People weren't working hard enough, which was the opposite which would true, but was my responsibility. And these are all stories that I was telling maybe not outwardly to the to the public. But I was certainly telling it to myself. When all actuality from the vantage point, I now get the privilege of standing and looking back at my life at. I realize it was all my fault. But I'm driving back and forth to Akron. And had a girlfriend for a long time. This girlfriend heard I have lived together points and not live together points and were were broken up. But we're not broken up at this point. It's it's ugly. It's ugly because she is a woman deserved better than I was putting her through. There was nothing wrong with her nor with any of the other individuals that I was dating. What was wrong was with with me? Am I self confidence and my -bility to speak outward, am I building own my own truth? But we'll get to that. And so I'm driving back and forth. And I get this message from this the longest term girlfriend. Ginned up sharing a picture of me with one of the other women. And I realized that this point this is the second time I've been caught with this individual that the the jig is up. It's over. Little Dino that they had already had a meeting together face to face. And shared their stories and put together the pieces of all the lies that I had shared. There was no way to back out of this. There is no way to lie to sell my way through to cry. My way out of I was caught. What I didn't realize him being caught in this moment is there were still two other women that were about to be brought into this situation.
"This is fifteen minutes of freedom. I'm your host Ryan idell and today is Saturday, which means my wife is here with me. Hello. You've been here. A lot more lately I have been I'm what Ryan would refer to as a working person. Now, it's atrocious for you is it doesn't it's not conducive to your lifestyle. It's not conducive to my life. So it's really cut in on my horse time. Yeah. Which? That's a great segue into the fact of I know, not even go there. What I found with you is having come to the office now or choosing choosing an having to right now as the brand has grown in coaching in your coaching platform in mind, events and speaking traveling. There's more stuff to get done than I'm capable to do or the current employee base of the company corrects were a little bit overwhelmed. But it's good, right? We talked about this earlier in the week. It means there's major growth happening when there's more stuff than we are capable of getting done ourselves. If you live in Columbus or wouldn't mind commuting or moving here, we open to entertain the opportunity of you to become a project manager and doors. I think it's a lot more project minute project management because you are not getting me lunch or dry cleaning. Or I mean, I wouldn't do that on a regular horse food that it's not true. You actually microwave from today. You are on so many calls. That's how it's prising. Right. It's giving some food. It's close to that closes man woman woman. Bring me some food. I did I did say that what have you noticed to be different in your life? Now that you are having to get up and come to the office so early in the morning. So I have got to find a balance. Right. I was used to getting up and just doing my own thing with John in the morning and then coming back to the house and being able to do what I needed to do for me. And then get on with the day when I needed to do something for me. It was because I had my own time and space, which you are looking at me funny because you don't get a lot of your own time in space. Because when she says, she would drop John off at school and then come home. She would drop Java off at school, and then come home gym really Jim folk around for awhile may by Amazon cleaned house a little bit. I mean, you had like super super Kaci, right? I mean, we're little getting the same out of stuff done now. And you're working here. Twenty eight point five hours a week. It's been a lot more than that. But that's all right. We we itemize it. We itemized at twenty eight point five hours, which you agreed to office. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So anyway, now, I have found that I need to be prepared in the morning more than I typically had been. In the past. So I have established some morning rituals for myself. And I say this because I've always had these mourning rituals. It was just I was able to get them done on my own time and at my leisure, and it wasn't so regimented mid morning early afternoon rituals. I mean worry about yourself. Okay. Truthful. Right. I'm bringing this up on the front side of this episode because. Lindsey has had to create her own morning practice in her own morning rituals that server, right? And she's coming from world is you might have come from yourself where you were stayed home. Mom or a a man that was at home dad or unemployed whoever's happened there's a new season life, and she's had to make some changes. Right. She had the pivot to be more productive and to fill in the spaces you've agreed to fill in that's leaning on this path. Yes, I'm messing with because it's funny because I would have done. I would love for you. What if you're listening? What I want to do is all sign up for Linda coaching, like, whatever whatever you can possibly do. Because I want to stay at home debt. I want to take the school. I wanna go to Jim for couple of hours horse. No, no, the horses gone. I'm saying home, Ben is out. We'll have a nice car. You buy a lot of cars. I'm not even I'm not even bring that up. Don't go there. But what I found is that when we're getting home from Mondays and Fridays are really very late days for us at least for me, and we're not getting home until eight thirty nine o'clock at night by the time, we feed ourselves and actually get home. And then we're all old and tired by the time that rolls around. So we're in bed. So I'm thinking in the morning. Okay. I'm going to get up. I'm gonna do stuff. It'll be great. And then my ass is dragon. So I had to establish something that was going to be just for me that I could ritualized so to speak. There would make me feel more prepared for the day and make me feel not behind you guys have been listening to this for a while. You know that I am a reactionary person. I get overwhelmed pretty easily. I get stressed out. And this was probably Lindsey of I dunno eight to ten months ago that would just completely stress out about the smallest things. My husband is laughing at renounced. This is ridiculous. Hours ago. It did not go away. It got slightly muted now processing quicker still there. But my step. Well, yeah. My reaction is never gonna go away. But the thing is is that now I accept it. And I know how to deal with it. And then I just move on from it. So I don't internalize things as much as I probably used to. You know, you agree with that? No. Right. We we talk about things. Yeah. But you know, it just if you have listened to that the and your that same type of person like the smallest things would get me frustrated and to the point where I'm like, you know, this really serving me do I really need to be frustrated about this. What does this really doing a no, I didn't know it wasn't? And so what I have found is in the morning, if I get up, and I have a routine make myself, I'd take shower brush my teeth wash my face make myself a Cup of coffee, and then I sit down to meditate, and that's probably been the biggest thing in my morning ritual that kind of sets me up for success for the day because I can clear my mind, I set an intention for the day. Whether it's to be, you know, calm and mindful whether it is to be appreciative income from a place of gratefulness. Why are you looking at me like that guess intensely? You said every day just to be sexy. That's so nice for a minute. I thought you were getting. Smart ass remarks. Easy. Sweet. I love it. That's very nice any. Well, you know, I haven't really said that attention. You just you just get sex on a daily basis with me. What can I say? And being humble, you get all of that. But no when you agree that when you when you start your day with meditation or some kind of a routine than it it set you up for success, and you have some kind of attention that you carry with yourself throughout the day. There's cover this quite a bit on the show that there are so many different ways to meditate the only wrong way to meditate us and not do it. Right. Right. Like, I very openly. And I think it's what got you start was the muse like choose muse dot com. Yeah. The music been great. And I posted some of this stuff that this whole episode came because I posted some stuff on my story about a journal. I had a journal and a planner and that was part of my morning rituals that I started to make sure I planned out my day. So that it didn't lead me to become overwhelmed. Right. I could write it down map it out, and then have boxes for myself that I could check. And when I checked off the boxes as accomplish something. Then I could look back at the end of the day and go, I really, you know, I did a lot today I complex that. I didn't get overwhelmed in busy work and for moms. A lot of the stuff is busy work. Right. You've got to get the kid up and get them dressed and things ironed and what shoes are going to match. And what are they want to eat for breakfast and his lunch packed, and it's just? It's nonstop. And then you pay play twenty questions in the morning at least with a girl to write does. This these shoes. Go should I wear these earrings? What are we going to do with my hair today? So much of that is actually my beautiful wife pushing that on Jonah Jonah is like the simplest no nonsense. Right. I mean, honestly, I how a young child she's nine should not even young anymore. She's like a little dull. But she gets up. She comes on sayers. She loves what she wears. She picks it out you get fresh ak- sometime. She doesn't match and look the right way of those days. You know, she is still struggling, but she she has asked me more recently to lay out clothes for her. Or she will pull them out in at nighttime before she goes to bed and say like, do you think this this does this go and she got a whole earring box. And all her hearings are laid out like you miss this stuff in the morning because you're already gone. So it it. That's actually how the morning goes. She's coming down and saying, you know, these airings match that I wear this. And she will now let me do her hair sometimes, but at least, you know, round brush blow at and make. Look pretty so anyway, as we're getting wound up in the busy work than it's do. I have time for myself when I I found that I was heating up my Cup of coffee for the third time. I was not eating my all of my breakfast. I was rushing out the door, and there were still dishes laying everywhere then I would come home at the end end of the day. And there's stuff everywhere, which then would make me feel more overwhelmed, right Amari tired already exhausted. I don't wanna clean up the kitchen. I don't wanna put stuff away from breakfast. So establishing that morning ritual for myself made it so that I was prepared in the evening. I set aside time to make sure her lunch was packed and things were put away and then in the morning, I just chose to get up earlier. I set my alarm for an hour earlier. So that I could have that time and space for myself to have an actual hot Cup of coffee to write in my journal to make sure that I. Wrote out my day. And I started with the three things that I wanted to accomplish that day the most important to me personally. And then the three things that had to get done today, whether they pertain to work or taking zoos to chemo appointment or things that were non-negotiables. And then I could check them off and the other things that come in and out throughout the day just write down, and, you know, prioritize them, and then I don't feel so overwhelmed. Good. Well, what do you you've had this topic before on the on the podcast as far as your meditation? But we've added other things to the morning ritual as of late. Oh, yeah. So much of my life. Now is what I'll call. Optimizing right. There's a reason why switch the name of the coaching platform when I do from unleash the king to life optimisation group because I just for men for men and women, and I know with one hundred percents or whatever you're going
"Success. But what happens when there's other ways to Gaijin monitor? What success really means? Thing about your life as I'm speaking to you. How many different ways have you tried to measure up your success? Most of us men. Do it by muscles. Right. Look at me. I'm a retired amateur bodybuilder. The bigger. I was the more successful. I felt the more chiseled or rip my Avs were the more successful. I felt right. Like that was a way that I measured success. For men. It's also Bank balances. Job positions. It's titles. And I'm only speaking to men because I am one woman to me have slightly different wiring. I believe women crave. Security. Craig, companionship crave. Knowing that their children are protected. I think most women as a blanket statement. I know of that does I think most women are looking for consistency. So all those things equate to success. To some that are more involved in the church any sort of denomination. Maybe success means to you having the most heightened connection to God, maybe means going to church Maybelline's running a church group a leadership retreat. I love all that. I love that for you. If that's success. If that if that's what you can Mark on a calendar that was successful on this day. I'm super happy for you. What I know is no matter which side of life. You think makes you successful? And I think because it's up to you to decide my success and your success are two different things. I can guarantee you that. But by the nature of social media by podcasting by print and everything else. We are consumed with comparing ourselves to others. I'm not successful until I have what he has. I'm not successful until I get to go on the vacation of these people went on. I'm not successful until I have this much money that looks like this person has or viz bag or this pair of shoes or this watch or this body. Right. We compare. Stop comparing for moment. You're success is something that you get to decide. You're the one that's putting the the hash Mark next to. I was successful today. Right successes. This imaginary destination we're going to arrive to at some point in the future. Would you agree? I'll be successful. When. How many times have you outwardly said that or internally verbalised at somewhere near psyche. If only these things happen, I will finally feel successful. Good. I did the same thing for a long time. What happens when we start to figure out that those days never, really come. Because a minute we get there. We don't actually feel successful. We just look for the next extra triggering event to make us feel that same dopamine dumb. I use success. What do we do? Then. I have an answer for you. You might not like it. But to start with we have to attach internal validation to success, not extra Nobel Dacian. We have to figure out what makes you happy. What makes you feel complete? What makes you feel like it's your soul's purpose and then take action to achieve that consistently every day. Now when I say every day that's a little bit different for some of us. Although it shouldn't be. This podcast has been every day for more than two hundred seventy days. Every day. It will continue to be a daily podcast seven days a week three hundred sixty five busier Christmas new years thanksgiving birthdays, deaths vacations name it the show must go on. The reason for that is I know that success swings. Singles. And if I can't put in the reps every day in a small way. How likely do you think it is that I'm able to show up and put in the big rep when it's time. If you're one of my clients and you sit across from me face to face on zoom phone call. And you know, that I haven't been reading studying perfecting my craft when you're in that crisis mode and your business collapsing. Your relationship is almost dead. Your body is not working God has left you. And you look at don't get it. I don't know what to do. I get years and years and years of daily habits that have built up to Pell me into the right situation of being able to handle whatever it is. You're talking about. It's because I put in the daily wraps. No different than this podcast. I'm able to put an daily rep on the podcast who make certain that. I'm providing value to you. Why do I provide value? As of this point is I'm providing value. I still don't have sponsorships. The show is not brought to you by someone. I'm not pausing for a commercial break. I'm sharing what works in my life. And I'm sharing from a place of passion purpose and ultimately production for myself. I say production because this podcast is still somewhat selfishly about me at least half in. I know as things go on in my life. And I'm learning new lessons. The fact that I'm committing to share something every day means I have to be open to the lessons to receive them. And once I receive them, then I have to catalogue them. I to be ready, then share them. But upon sharing them to share them from place of thorny. I can't say maybe I don't know. Right. That doesn't work. I have to share from a place of knowledge. All this builds into public, speaking speaking from sage in front of three hundred four hundred thousand ten thousand or fifty thousand people all sorts would being able to speak eloquently into a microphone in front of no one. I did that for two hundred sixty five days straight before I brought in live streaming into the studio. It was time to up my game a little bit. It was time to imagine. There were three people in front of me right now that I was speaking to that I had to consistently move back and forth between cameras and look them all on the eye. It's simple. That's not sexy. If you're listening to this on one of the auditory devices and not watching it live stream from somewhere. You don't even know what I'm talking about. If you would like to watch some of this live, I encourage you to go to my Instagram account, which is Ryan idell and ideal or my Facebook account, my business, quote, unquote, Facebook count, the
"This is fifteen minutes of freedom. I'm your host Ryan idell. And today's episode is success swings. Singles. Today's episode. I want to share with you why the simple things are going to get you to the finish line. So here I am. I'm in the studio it's a little bit different day. For me today is the first day that I have not had a fool client load. Lou the first day in fourteen weeks that I have not had back to back to back phone calls. It's an incredible feeling if you're watching this live on one of the sources, I'm in a hooded sweatshirt a baseball hat, and if I were to stand up I have shorts on. I have those on because I took time out for myself this morning just to float. Yes. Three weeks ago? I booked four consecutive days of two hours of floating per morning starting at ten AM going until noon, really twelve thirty. I did this as a way to pay homage to myself. Right. A new if I made the commitment. I'd stick to it. I knew that. I was worth it. A knew something very simple. But something that I needed. I have no problem sharing with you that upon booking. This appointment was on little the back side of me experiencing a decent dose of organic mushrooms prior to going to the floats by. That experience is a whole different realm of what's possible by using plant based medicine. I can't I won't bore you with trying to discuss on this episode everyone for the future. But when I books booked I had a commitment to do some microdosing four days in a row. To see what came up right to this is multiple multiple faceted. So much of this was the fact of knowing that I needed to recalibrate I need some time off I needed to relieve some pressure, right? Think about your life right now. How hard have you been pushing in for how long have you been pushing? Probably most of us would say our entire lives. Like, it's not a scheduled vacation, right? If you didn't schedule time off. You probably are always pushing. I think that's one of the reasons why so many of us look so forward to the weekend because it's our release valve. But that release valve only gets triggered if we allow it to right when you to create space and time. Just like I created for myself by making commitment that was further down the road than I could see. But I knew as it approached I would have to honor it because if I don't honor my words to myself than who can I expect to honor them for me. The answer is no one my word has Trump everything else. Now, certainly there are plenty of times where I give my word to someone and I have forgotten. I have missed stepped. I have not put value on their time. Right. This is not a perfect game. What I say game. I mean the game of life the game the world playing whether you know, you are or not we are all playing this game. But my goal is to play at a heightened level. Not to express dominance upon you. But because I wanna see the maximum amount of human potential that I have inside of me. That's why I do what I do. That's why I take something like the core for that Garrett j whiten wakeup or you're taught me, and I do it every day. Green smoothie. Sweat journal meditate notes of appreciation reading and up implementing what I read write. These are all things that I do for me because I wanna see what I'm capable of doing. No different than the true dark infrared glasses that I'm wearing right there. Blackout blue light. No different than the Juve. Red light therapy that I do. Lost my cells to hill, the different level, no different than the microdosing of mushrooms because I want to smooth over neuro pathways and create new tenancies in my brain that I didn't know were there before. I'll tell you what removing the pressure from today of not having to be the office being able to relax and truly just take the weight off my body experience a different amount of what the universe has in store for me. It allowed me to come to the office and be hyper productive and creative. It's been an incredible day. And from that incredible day is where it stems and comes to me that ain't talked to you about being successful. We all have our own take on what success truly means. For me for a very long time success meant how much money I had in my Bank account. Don't get me wrong. The number of zeros associated with my Bank balance, certainly have value. They've value because it gives me options. It's all what we want. Right. We want options. We want auctions that are available for success.
"This is fifteen minutes to freedom. I'm your host Ryan idell. Today's episode is we are getting divorced. Today's episode. I wanna share with you a lesson. The came to me this weekend. From a friend of mine that's going through a divorce. So maybe a one point in your life. You've had the individual that you sat down with. You shared your heart with them. You told them that something told you in your soul that the path? They were about to walk down might not end up the way they wanted to. But as you had that conversation as you shared that with these people or this person. If Ellen de fears. Have you had that happen before? You see there's some lessons in life that I truly believe we have to learn ourselves. We have to go through it the hard way. And Lord knows is I've shared on my show here. A multimedia have learned many many lessons the hardest way possible. Right. From a consistent amount of infidelity throughout my twenties. And even into my early thirties. Failed businesses anabolic steroid use like my checklist is pretty long all along the way, they were people that had stopped me and said, hey, you probably should consider going different route. I just refuse to listen. I wasn't ready to hear where they were coming from. What bay said didn't matter to me? Maybe as you're viewing this or listen to this right now, it's connecting with you that you have people in your life. That are telling you to wake up and look at something. But you choose to look the other direction. All this comes up from a conversation. I had with an acquaintance of Fred this weekend. My lovely wife, and I were at dinner on a random Saturday date night. We decided abounds all around the city of Columbus. Trying to find a little bit of different cuisine from different places. We had a plan to essentially not have a plan. And that's great for us. Right. Because there's new restaurants new things that are popping up, and we go into we try little bit of this or a little bit of that. And I was at least our planning we walked in. By time. We concluded our dinner together. We realize the fact that might have been a little over zealous in driving around and looking different spots in Columbus. We decided one restaurant was more than enough for the evening. But I'm sitting there that restaurant is I'm sharing time with my wife, something, Don me, right? We're having a conversation something pops in my head to reach out to this individual who I'm gonna remain. Nameless named is not important. This individual. I'd say man how you doing? Haven't caught up for a while. How how's everything running in your life? Madam just trying to get by. There's been some changes in my life. I asked him how his wife and his family are doing. He says. And my family's great. But I'm actually going through divorce. And I would love to say that this part of the communication floored me, right? Let I didn't expect it to come. But that'd be a lie. That'd be lie. Because there were so many signs of things leading up to this situation. And I don't know the intimacy of their relationship, right? It's mildly inappropriate for me to assume that I know what happens behind closed doors. About your relationship. But certainly, my wife, and is I share more of the negatives that come out with my intimate circle of friends and do the positive, right? We're not always the type to. Hey, I can't believe this happened. My wife just this incredible thing for me. Oh my gosh. She's perfect. I think we're honest with ourselves. It's much easier to relate to our friends. Those no-show circle the opposite. You would believe what my wife did to me today. She didn't do this. You didn't do that. I can't I don't even know what to say about this, right? Like think of how many times in your life, you speak the negative versus backing it up with positive. So my assessment of this relationship isn't really fair for me to assess the fact of what's been shared with me, my own cognitive dissonance. What I've been through the perception of life that I have had is created my reality is pertains of their situation. And so shares the me I said, I'm sorry, right? I I I have been the product of a divorce. Ri- when I go back to my childhood. And I'm honest about what happened there were years that went on where I was just sick to my stomach knowing that my parents weren't supposed to be together. So much. So I remember going to the doctors young child because of how bad my stomach used to hurt because of how nervous and worried. I was that my parents were not getting along. It was a different time in life, and there were different stresses. But the way that I remember it my cognitive biases it pertains to the situations that when we moved to a little town in Ohio called Mansfield, my father, unfortunately, wasn't able to be around. He was rebuilding a cable company and south Dade Florida after Hurricane Andrew. And when he did come home. He was tired. He was run down. He had been through it. He had been through. And I couldn't understand it from that point. All I knew is that my father was never home when he was home. He was grumpy mean aggressive tired short tempered. I knew that my family would sit at the dinner table and not have any conversation. My mother and father would not speak. They would sit across each other my sister. And I would then sit across from each other. And it was just the silence that was almost deafening. We'd wrap up dinner. My father would finish. He would leave the table. I go into our family living room read sitting this red recliner. We had it was a lazy. Boy, he'd Senate it over in the corner put his feet up. Maybe have a drinker to watch TV. And essentially was there quiet. Sound familiar down of you? That are listening. Have you yourself had experiences like this? Whereas Cheryl that because my life progressed and shortly after my fourteenth birthday believe it was may of my fourteen year on earth. My parents sent me down my sister. And I in that same living room that he used to put his feet up on the lazy boy in. And we have some things to tell you. And one thing leads to another net ends up being that they're getting divorced. Now, my gut reaction to that thing in that moment was to completely lose my mind. Was a stand up to cry to try to leave the house to rebel against the system. That was my childish way of dealing with the situation when the facts of life present itself, I actually knew it was better for everybody involved. What had happened was? It was my own internal mechanism of self protection that I was afraid to have to go and explain to my friends why my family was changing. Is he that point social awareness matters a lot, and it's crazy. I remember so distinctly it was. The birthday have a girl that I eventually ended up dating for a period of time. It was a birthday at her father's business. The one that I actually ended up starting to work at earlier that summer or later that summer hybrid like to say it. And I was so petrified to go to this event that I would be looked at as different that somehow the people there would know that I was now going to be part of a divorce family now. It's petrified. They're going to judge house literally scared to death almost to the point that I didn't want to go to this event. While may surprise you. There was nobody there that brand me as someone that was part of a divorce family 'cause I didn't tell anybody. I didn't have the scarlet a on my chest that I felt like I would have. What I did have was a good time and actually felt lighter eventually because other than the fact that my father was going to be leaving our home. I realized that there was going to be more peace. I also realize there was gonna come day and time in which I'd have to share this with my friends and social circle there were people that we're going to find out. I was going to have to deal with it. Oddly enough as it pertained to the quote unquote, rest of the world, most of them hadn't spent much time around my father anyway. So it was of no different to them. There was no issue as it pertained to their life. They consoled me as though would affect me. But in all actuality when I stopped getting out of my emotions and started getting into the facts of the situation, I realized very quickly. This is for the best by parents weren't happy. I was getting fractions of each of them that were filling me up and leaving me somewhat empty. And so life per proceeds on here. We sit today. Right. I've been through my trials and tribulations that pertain sue divorce split households and families, and but we all have our own dynamics. Right. We've all been through what we've been through. And I share this. Because as I'm having this conversation with this individual via text message and a very brief period of time. He's very concerned about how the quality of his daughter's life is going to be. And it's not appropriate in that time more place to share with him the gift that can come from assessing so early that the love that you thought you had. Wasn't set for the long run. Right. Because in the moment there were things leading up to the marriage leading up to, you know, having their first child leading up through all these pieces and parts that were things that maybe the outside world became very obvious for us to see. But it's easy because we don't get to see the good. We only got see the bad.
"This is fifteen minutes to freedom. I'm your host Ryan idell. And today's episode is your goals are too big. Today's episode. I'm going to share with you why the goals that you've set are almost bound to fail. I know crazy way to start out an episode you've set ostentatious goals for two thousand nineteen you're motivated. It's a first week in January you want to achieve everything that you set out to do I can truly tell you. I want you to achieve that and more. That's why I'm sharing this message with you. You see most years for my life. I sat down sometime in December. Maybe the first week in January and created goals. That's familiar. Have. You yourself may be sat down already and created some goals for yourself some things that you know, you need to change some things that need perfected in tweet. I get it. We all do it. It's almost like what the New Year's is known for its creating these new ideas new pathways new success principles. And when I used to sit down and set these out, I would say, okay, there's all this stuff that I didn't do if I look back in the past year. I wanted to lose weight. I want to get up earlier. I want to be better boyfriend at that point or have more money in the Bank account. These are all things I had to do. I had convinced myself that these were the things that we're gonna make me successful. Also things we're gonna make me feel whole fulfilled on the inside. Well it right down. Right. I'd get a sheet of paper out, and I do all the good happy things that were supposed to do in order to make us feel successful had right down this year. I'm going to do whatever it would be. And from the standpoint this vantage point, I would Dench venture into like the metaphysics world of discussing that. I'm I'm gonna talk. This is present tense already own these things like this is already who. I am. Wonderful, right. Maybe you've done the same thing that today in this moment, I've already achieved these things I commend you for that. I truly believe there's a part of that that works. But there's only part of that that works right at some point. We have to become practical tacticians of what we're postulating is going to work. So what do I mean by that? I can only share with you my personal example where I used to say, I know I need to get up earlier. So as part of my life that if you've listened for a long time, you might not fully know about although I've been very transparent sharing my stories. I was a man that used to claim to be a night out. The only way I could get things done. We're after hours, right? The guy going to bed at eleven twelve one two, and then I would say like nothing I don't really have to get up in the morning. Maybe this is you right now. Maybe I'm literally speaking to you that this is a story running in the background of your mind that I'm just not a morning person. Okay. I get it. But then all of a sudden, I started reading books. And I started listening to entrepreneurs. And this was back when I was in the car business people that were able to come in and write hundred thousand dollar checks for automobiles. I wanted to know how they got to that point. You see I was never frayed to ask a question to try to understand how how someone arrived at where they had risen to. So it asked a question. Most of them said something along the same lines and that message into being seek out information seek counsel c coaching seek mentorship. Seek books. Seek knowledge. Man of all these if tens if not hundreds of people are all telling me, the same thing, I should probably start to consider listening to this. So I started reading. And reading was all well and good until you start figuring out how many different books there are right. Have you ever considered? How many books are in the world. How many books you see people post on social media? How many books you feel obligated to potentially read? It's crazy to me. And what's crazy to me is how many of them say the same thing? And that same thing ends up being. To get up earlier. Right. The successful people that I know they were all waking up earlier. And so here, I am talking to successful people that have more ability and more financial what appears like more financial buns than I have. They've certainly got more successful businesses. And they're literally all sharing with me the same thing the shirt with me, it's time to get up early. But here I am running this background story of. I'm just not a morning person. So I write down the New Year's resolution writes my goal, I get up at eight o'clock every morning, and I'm going to start getting up at five. That's what I'm gonna do. I got this. Think about yourself right now. Think of the goals that you set forth probably three to four days ago about making that big swing that tremendous leap.
"This is fifteen minutes of freedom. I'm your host Ryan idell. And today's episode is is this cheating. So before I jump into today's episode were trying out some new technology. So if you're watching this live on Facebook or on Instagram bear with us as we've not done this before. But that's what the New Year's four right expanding new capacity. So every episode from here on out we're gonna live stream on Facebook and Instagram and then you can catch a replay. If you will the podcasts at self on tune, Stitcher soundcloud, anywhere where you consume content from. So today's episode is listen to requested I E mail from someone just before this episode was about to take place in which they asked what I thought cheating was now, let me let me phrase this up the right way. This Email comes in. And it's a woman who I don't know doesn't really describe too much about her. But what she sharing with me that she has had a relationship with another man now salacious that might sound. I to right. I used to be a cheater I own it. I can't run from. It's my past. It's made. It makes me who I am. But does not define who. I am today is a man. So she sharing with me that she had a consistent conversational relationship with another man through social media. Now, she goes on to say that she hasn't actually shared her contact information this individual, she shares that she has an exchange pictures with him, but that she feels conflicted like is this cheating, and should she tell her partner? Now, it's tough Reich is how much of this is the shame and guilt that we all carry around that were holding into our soul that when we say it out loud to someone else at it disseminates through the universe. Right. We no longer holding on. I think some of it right for me personally when I look at the infidelities I've had in my past. And there have been ample ride. I if you're new to the show from the time, I was really twenty twenty one all the way till thirty one. I don't remember many times where I had a truly faithful monogamous relationship. Nice that I wasn't necessarily the man that was out trying to sleep with every woman. But what I was doing was not communicating what I needed and not communicating what I wasn't getting and then back feeling with other relationships. So when I hear this young lady sharing with me that she's confused. Confusing. What to do should you tell her partner? I mean, what would you do in this situation? Would you tell your partner if you've been having conversations with the opposite sex through a social media platform, and in this platform, one thing leads to another new realize conversation, take some turn to you're not proud of. Do you tell you see she went on to tell me that she's blocked this individual? And she's really looking for guidance that she likes the conversations at Linden. I have my wife as pertains to relationships, and she was looking for some feedback. So here's my feedback. You already know the answer. You didn't reach out to me because you were looking for a stamp of approval or disapproval you're looking for someone to back up what you already thought to be right? I know this answer because you've already addressed it. But typically out ask you, why did you seek attention from another man to me it happens always for one of two different reasons. The first reason being the fact that you're not getting enough attention at home. That the man that you are currently spending time with your boyfriend, your partner, fiance, whatever they are. They're not actually doing what they need to do to satisfy your needs. Non must then ask the question. Are you communicating? What is required for you to be happy to your partner? And I don't mean once in a while I'm saying consistently, especially as a female to us mails. I own it were slow learners. Right. I am hard headed. I am stubborn. I get focused on what's important to me in the moment. And I miss out on the genius. That happens all around me all the time. But let's say it's not that. But so you have communicate, and it's just not there, and you seek attention adulation from another man, and whether it becomes physical or not oftentimes emotional response on a motion event letting a man have access or a woman if your man have access to your psyche to make can be almost as damaging if not even more. So sometimes. So I would ask you then where did this all start from? You can say it started. Because my boyfriend didn't do x y and z. I get it that used to be the story. I would run that was what I would tell people. I would challenge you to think he goes a little bit deeper than that where some of the first times in your life. You remember not addressing what you actually needed? Most likely it comes down to the fact that one of your parents, you saw their love and attention more than the other. That does not mean that you loved one more than other. That means you simply were seeking their validation more and through validation, there'd be love. And when you didn't get it. You had to act out of a way that kept you safe because you didn't want to be vulnerable. Because vulnerability is scary and scary equals death and not in that global sense that you're dying and buried six feet deep. But in the fact that you feel dead inside. Because when you're scared we retreat, so we do everything we can to not have to feel that feeling. Well, the best way for most of us do that ends up being a shift in perspective. It's easy for us. If we're seeking out our parents love one of the two, and we're not getting it to then mimic what they're doing her. What we perceive them to be doing later on our dot lives without ever going back and RIA dressing what originally happened. You see I know on my side. Let me put some skin around. This example, I know on my side as much as I love my parents as much as I honor what they provided for me opposite number one being life. I realize the fact that I was learning from them without consciously being aware of learning. So. From my father's response to triggering events in his life, which was either somewhat of an alcohol level now that he was alcohol, but it was drinking on the weekends. Whether it was him being grumpy or aggressive, or whatever the things are. Right. That that what he did? It built something inside of me that I was adversely prepared to handle what I will call conflict conversations.
"This is fifteen minutes to freedom. I'm your host Ryan idell. In today's episode is the best day of the week. Where my lovely wife Lindsay is in the studio with me wjm. Hello sweetheart. And today's different today. We have a highly anticipated announcement announcement and we're live today. We are. This is something that's our first life. Yes. We've had so many people mess adjusts over the time that we've been co hosting a podcast really waiting and just in anticipation for I think this moment, I think you're a how long have we been doing the the co host on the podcast here. Now, not long enough to LAN. That's cute. I don't know. It's certainly if we're two hundred sixty episodes in her so you gotta figure we've been doing it for we probably had sixty seventy these episodes give or take there's probably into I but somewhere in there. I'm with you on that one. Okay. And so so much of what I feel makes my wife, and I you need is our ability to communicate. Yeah. That's the biggest thing about our marriage. And I completely agree. But that that communication comes from the trials and tribulations that we try them. Through cracked if you're new to the podcast, if you're new to our lives, I certainly put Lindsay through the ringer for the first six months of infidelity. And then really what sprung into the next six months. Just trying to recalibrate my mind. What was important undoing some of the old stories from my past, right? Like rose some crazy stuff. I mean, obviously, the the infidelity and the the stories and all that is thing. But getting over the hump of all of the past things for you, not even for us as a couple, but just unwinding your stories that you had told yourself and your disbelief in who you were and your past discretions that you had to overcome personally that was probably a bigger hurdle. Then the cheating to start with. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's from your perspective. Right. Those things that you had to go through his at that point just my girlfriend, even we weren't engaged. We didn't it wasn't a shotgun wedding. Right. Like we were together for four years before we got married. We're just two people to decided to make it work, right? And with those decisions on the backside of that came a little rough spot as far as financial say a little rough spot. It's like, hey sweetheart come pick me up from downtown. My truck out towed. Oh, really what's wrong to truck? Nothing. It got repossessed. Because I haven't made the payment surprise welcome to my life right now. Right. Right. And so it was super interesting on how you help support me through that. Right. I mean, not only financially, right? There was a dry a dry spell of my life in which the amount of income. I was used to producing was certainly nowhere near what I actually had right? But there was also the fact of just not even producing really at all I was in this inbetween spot where a business I had didn't work and hadn't jumped in the next thing. And he wants I had jumped in the custom clothing that's a real like a sixty day revenue cycle. So there was three months where it's like there was nothing going on. And I was working in bringing in all the money for our family. You were you were those were super interesting times as a man ride like being the provider, quote, unquote, thinking I had my my shit together. And having to just put all my cards on the table for really the first time probably in my life, where I didn't have infidelities my girlfriend didn't know about. I wasn't living a life based off duality I didn't have money. So I wasn't trying to buy my way out of things. It was just like well here. I am. Loved anyway. Right. So at that point we had we kind of stripped everything down, and it was okay. I truly want to be with you for you, not because of anything else house money cars trips things crucial still have no idea. Why you wanna be with me? Because I I've said it before on this podcast, and I'll say two thousand times there was something that I saw in you that was bigger than what I think anybody else had seen in what you had seen. And I just knew it was there. And here we are now years later, and those things have manifested themselves, right? Those things I always knew about you. Thank you. I appreciate that. Those things also helped catapult me into eventually new levels success. Right. But even during those times we had our own ebbs and flows ups and downs. Right. Like our relationship, although it might sound sunny and perfect pertained to the podcast, and we're not trying to keep on our best shoes as we call it. They just there's only so many negative things that we still allow ourselves even consider being possibilities. But it wasn't always like that. Right. From in the custom golden world. I would be gun twenty plus days a month. And it wasn't that. I was there was a story that had floated around some of our peer group that as I was traveling that I had to be cheating a had to be stepping out because that's just who. I was. I can say hand to God. That was never what it was for me. What it was? I was so hellbent on trying to overproduce at this level because I had experienced nothing. I'd experienced lacked. I'd I had experienced what it felt like to have my wife take care of me that it didn't matter what I had to do to produce income like I was going. To go do that. And do it at the biggest level, I possibly could.