27 Burst results for "Ruthie"
"ruthie" Discussed on Couples Therapy
"Even romance was like Hook up like blessed that I didn't Hook Up. Would you in college so we can have this straight up friendship. But it is so common in tempting to conflate that connection you have with like. A great partnership me like. Should I marry you because we get along so well? Safety like it feels. You know I would never have left a husband I. I wasn't healthy enough to. Even though things were I, wouldn't I wasn't healthy enough to confront that things weren't okay. I wasn't healthy enough to think that I could be. I wasn't empowered enough to believe that I would be okay on my own. I'd just wasn't. In. Thank God. He was brave enough which I told him that like. Thank you that you were brave enough because especially in the south especially if you grew up in the church especially, if you're Griffin's culture, the one that leaves is ostracized the one that leaves is that simple. That's not okay. That's the bad guy you know. And he was brave enough because he knew it wasn't okay to step away and I would not be doing the work when he left I didn't have the luxury of fear anymore. I couldn't worry about not how my body would handle. Working I couldn't worry about. That had zero experience new the Shit I was trying to show up to do not a penny in the bank accounts I had a fug. Figure it out. Thank God because I didn't have that luxury anymore because I. didn't have that support system anymore and. I wouldn't I know that I know that I know that I would not be doing the work that I believe. I came here to do on the planet if he had not done that bad loving, that was four me. That didn't happen to me. That happened for me, and. That's shifting. I lived in Victory Park of victim land for a good long top blinkers on blinkers on car. Your seat reclined live here harked there. I was part, and that shifting that narrative like I. Really do believe that the universe wants good and beautiful things for me in that things happen for me not to me, and if that's the case, if that relationship. That was that situation like? My life is so beautiful now. I came home to myself and I did the work because everything imploded because everything exploded because it went to shambles into shit, and if if my life turn out the way I expected and everything was wonderful. I'd be so basic, I would not. I would I want to stay shallow in right? I would've never woken up. I would've never woken up to consciousness but.
"ruthie" Discussed on Couples Therapy
"With a mule. Wouldn't. Change. Like. So many horses and cattle and chicken and dogs I mean just all the things, and so he was literally on his way to see me in. Ted told my mom in my godfather that he is GonNa. Tell me he'd sell our farm so that. I could have the surgery because insurance cover it and he stopped to visit our Amish friends because we have friends. On the way to pick up like a donkey or mule. And We don't know exactly what happened because he wasn't with anyone at the time, but he ended up falling down a flight of stairs and passing away of brain damage. And it just this crazy, traumatic heart-wrenching heartbreaking. Had Gotten married. My painted started exactly one year after I got married, and I just had no idea. Have a handle all the pain all the trauma and all the heartbreak in I grew up in the south. It's like you show up. Be Sweet, you smile, you be pretty. That was like when I walk in the front door. My mom would not say how. How was your day? She think what did they say about today? Do they say how pretty you are? And so you put all your worth into these things outside of you to to tell you you're worthy and you're okay and you're good. And then I was also part of a denomination and a church family that said I was this broken, depraved wretch and I believed it. I thought something was just fundamentally wrong. With do grew up pentecostal. No I was a part of a church PCA which is a Presbyterian church, but were you depraved because of your accident? No, they said everyone is born that way, and so you need cheeses to become good and whole email that we are just broken. Specimens we come into this world broken and depraved, and that's why even this even more than original sin like there's something even. The original sense story is that. Is that narrative? It's all which by the way never once is original. Sin Written in the Bible not. Time. It's Matt White. That shit up not even existed. fucking talks about it is good. It is good. It is good like we are born good and whole and worthy like my healing journey has been an unlearn of this bullshit narratives that we are taught through the Patriarchy through the church through our family through culture through everything. That's shown to us you know, and it's a remembering of what is so right with. With us and not what's wrong with us and go back to your original question? I was so not okay, so most of my adult life. I was so clinically depressed had several nervous breakdowns, not functional in so much pain. I thought I would die, but just stuffing it down with drugs. which when you stuff pain, you stuff every good beautiful thing and. Matthau now I can look back and see that you know all I mean. I barely skimmed it, but all the things that happen all the trauma. My divorce, the fair all the heartbreak all the loss. All became these invitations. These entry points for me to alternately come back home to myself and do the healing work that I believe we're also worthy of and so deserving of in his for all of us, and remembering that inherent value and worthiness in goodness and tenderness and divinity that lives within every single one of us, and the more I do this work and unwind these stories. The more I am able to go out and be a mirror of that for everyone and. I think we heal the world by healing ourselves like I, jumped when I first got out of my bed, I lived in my bed for seven years, and had a complete my second breakdown, but this was the biggest one at that point and. I weaned myself off the drugs. I would I kind of just put pill? Pick myself up by my bootstraps and I was like I'm going to try to help as many people as I can. I WanNa make pain purposeful I, WanNa, talk about joy in the suffering and beauty in the broken, and and it came from I really loving ernest place, but it also. It became a new drug I needed to be needed right because that became my new form of worthiness like Oh. These people think I have all these things to offer and. They think I'm worthy because I've lived this crazy pain story and I have something to share, but I by pass doing the work inside I totally bypassed because I thought going inside with kill me. The pain was so my pain had been worse every year for about fourteen years debilitating Lee so. And I thought if I went in I'll die like I will die. You know and that's the only way that we can heal I. learned about how the body keeps the score I. Read Dr Vander Colts Book. Body gives a square in. It blew my brains on a level that I can't even describe end or Colt I'm worried. Coke okay, with a k. back I'm back. I'm back on board we're. We're back he. Talks about the mind body experience in our bodies hold onto trauma and again I did not learn how to which would I mean the one percent that maybe learned this growing up? Who knows how to like handle hard emotions I wasn't taught how to process trauma I was. There's a good emotions and bad emotions and the bad ones. You just push that shit down because you get rid minute. He start showing rage or anger is like I'm a pop your ass hard. But also because you were if you grew up religious, I'm sure you are taught. That you are a spirit, your soul and you kind of learn to deny your body in some way flashes sinful above all else the flow. The heart denied. The heart is deceitful like what the actual literal says. What are beautiful hearts that are just like they're so much pure love in there. We're taught the hatred. We are taught like we were never broken broken. Thuc up things happen to at that is earth school that is part of it that is the human experience, and but in the same vein we were created to heal like we create. We were meant for it and are beautiful. Brains are so profound it blows my mind, our Olympic break because it doesn't no time so for example going back to what we were talking about. Your limbic brain does not know time, so that's why when you are having to see these horrific things on television right now it is re triggering. Old traumas generational traumas that are living within you in your body doesn't know that it's not happening. Right in this moment because your brain doesn't know Tom. That's why your responses to things are hysterical. When their historical because it could have been trauma that happened pre-verbal, it could have been trauma that happened thirty years ago, but in your body it feels as though it's happening right in this moment, and that is why the fight flight freeze things happen, but in the same vein. When we do this healing work this loving deserving healing work, we can go back in to traumatic experiences and literally. Your brain doesn't know the difference I can go back in and repair it myself and tell myself all the things that I was so longing to hear that I needed to hear. I can mentally like through breath work experiences through an Dr through a lot of different modalities that I've learned. I literally gone back in and removed myself from doctors hands. That did some really traumatic things to me. I remove I've gone back in and taking myself out of situations in carried her out of a room and my brain doesn't know that that's not exactly how it happened. How though I don't know yet? What can you I? Can You explain MDR because I've actually had guests on my podcasts? You have said like that's helped. Them healed traumatic experiences from their childhood. Yes. So, Gosh I should've looked where I'm not a doctor. But my experience of it is when you're in a safe place with someone that you are in a very very salt safe container with so that usually obviously is it therapist? And, they can, so they are able to. It can come through. Tapping on both sides, so you're, you're basically igniting both sides of your brain, the left side in the right side and I. Don't under- I I'm not a scientist I don't know. I? It off for movement. It's.
"ruthie" Discussed on Couples Therapy
"Open, your hearts! Loosen your butts. It's time for couples there. Yeah this. Is. Where they can both lead to. Talk talking exit vacationing with Brunches and cousinly too messy situation, conscious uncoupling from net flicks to stable the with the Mulu Tech Sex. Regret Sophie know your new, Jubal. Eating therapy. Baby weekend. Hey Hey everyone welcome to couples therapy. I am Naomi and I'm Andy. We're real life couple a real couple of Comedians in couples therapy. We used to bring you the very best sets from our live show. Now the show is not live. We are interviewing people and Duos and couples. We like in-studio and also answering your relationship questions. Yeah, mostly answering your relationship questions these days, and you got some great ones coming up and a great one today I know today's episode is with Ruthie Lindsey Ruthies, a speaker co host of the podcast, unspoken and a writer who just released a memoir called there I am and this episode. Ruthie you guys? Obviously we were trying to answer advice questions, but very. Very quickly we went off the rails and did a deep dive into ruthies upbringing. It gets slide. Lou Spiritual Mr Cole and I love it, but I think in a in a grounded way you know with that has a scientific underpinning because you know I mean I would never well of course, and that was. It felt like you know I think Agassi said it when my word never in the conversation that I thought that this was more like an episode of your other podcast beginning when you were like. Tell me about your upbringing. Tell me about faith. Tell me about being reborn and so because she had quite. A life and she's been through a lot of. Let's say traumatic incidents. Exactly which you guys are about to hear. But we also wanted to let you know if you WANNA, ask an advice question WanNa hit us up. We've got some great episodes coming up. WHO's we're going to speak to Nicole buyer? We're going to to Monte Hakim. Bryan Safi Sara Schaefer. If you want to ask them advice questions that we will answer. Call in three, two, three, five, two, four, seven, eight, three nine. Leave a voicemail. You can also dem's pretty much anywhere. Most people choose instagram for some reason. Yep, that's well. That's the better you know. Platform now the social media platform this list likely to depress you. Less likely but still. So, so yeah, please call us. We want your questions. We want to help you and you know what inquire we're opening up. It doesn't just have to be relationship advice literally. What kind of the paper by asked me I'll tell you? A! Has Many opinions. She has opinions. One of the things that drew me to her was that she has opinions on things? You think people would have opinions on really not. So happy to hear that because I'm really having opinions about things that don't matter, yeah. Wonder where you get that from. Now before we get into the episode, though little bit of housekeeping love when it keep house. You and I are part of the DA stimulus chat campaign telethon happening. If you're listening to this day, it comes out tomorrow. Wednesday July first at six PM. T yes, and basically what? The Immigration Justice Committee out. Here in La has been doing is asking people to donate. Their stimulus check or part of their stimulus checker. Just donate any money or whatever they can give. Five bucks whatever. And, what we've been doing his redistributing it to our undocumented neighbors, who did not get a stimulus check who are struggling to pay rent to buy food? Yes, and we're having this telethon. You and you're going perform. Eric Andre John Early. metered Johari. Yes, joking him. Boosters firestone. It's a cavalcade of stars. Okay, we're coming through. It's three hours magical. Hopefully it will make you laugh. It will make you open your heart. Loosen your, but an open your wallet, and that's what it's about. Yes, and if you donate at it, dot, l., y. bit dot Li Slash de. Dash, La Dash Stimulus. As low as five dollars, you get to watch the whole thing. Yeah, well, whole thingamajig imaging, the whole Lazzaro Zoo Shaw's Eliza Short. Love it, so yeah, you guys tune in for that, so that's tomorrow also obviously. Wednesdays two PM. Arts are twits show Oh. My Godwin's is going to be chock full who you can't get rid of us. Can't shake a stick at US and tell us to get away reading so much content over here. But yeah, twitch, DOT TV slash couples. Therapy pod were putting on a show trying to raise money for good. For good causes so tune tune-in. Finally you know what we've. Got Independent Damn. I thought you know what instead of having these corporate sponsors walgreens instead of taking their filthy lucre. We would open it up if you have a small business if you have your own thing that you would like to advertise on the show I. Email us a couples therapy pottage, email dot com we can talk about. Doing do. Long pause dramatic we can talk is the point and say if you can talk, we can work could talk all right. I think. That's enough I think it's time to Ruthie Lindsay's. Mystical Journey.
"ruthie" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast
"It's done <Speech_Telephony_Female> and feeling like <Speech_Music_Female> well I didn't know <Speech_Music_Female> and I didn't talk about this <Speech_Music_Female> but you know <Speech_Music_Female> that's like a part <Speech_Telephony_Female> of it like I felt <Speech_Telephony_Female> comfort from <Speech_Female> Glenn and oil who <Speech_Music_Female> the New York <Speech_Telephony_Female> Times bestseller book <Speech_Music_Female> where it was about <Speech_Female> getting <Speech_Telephony_Female> back into a <Speech_Telephony_Female> marriage and it was <Speech_Telephony_Female> a love story and <Speech_Music_Female> literally <SpeakerChange> two months before <Speech_Female> the book came out. <Speech_Telephony_Female> She left him <Speech_Telephony_Female> back. <Speech_Telephony_Female> <SpeakerChange> That's <Speech_Telephony_Female> just life <Speech_Telephony_Female> happening. And <Speech_Telephony_Female> and not <Speech_Telephony_Female> as a next <Speech_Telephony_Female> chapter of <Speech_Female> my book. You know <Speech_Telephony_Female> but I do go <Speech_Telephony_Female> into so much. I <Speech_Telephony_Female> talk a lot about <Speech_Telephony_Female> <Speech_Telephony_Female> Journal speak <Speech_Telephony_Female> at the end. <Speech_Telephony_Female> I talk about <Speech_Telephony_Female> meditation. Talk <Speech_Telephony_Female> about talk about <Speech_Telephony_Female> on site. There is <Speech_Telephony_Female> a lot of it <Speech_Music_Female> in the book that there is. <Speech_Music_Female> There are pieces <Speech_Telephony_Female> about the early childhood <Speech_Telephony_Female> stuff <SpeakerChange> that I didn't <Speech_Telephony_Female> know okay <Speech_Male> That aren't <Speech_Telephony_Male> in. There will be the next <Speech_Male> book but this one is <Speech_Male> there <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Male> from whole walls <Speech_Male> to healing <Speech_Male> of <Speech_Male> at Amazon <Speech_Male> and then of course the unspoken <Speech_Male> podcast <Speech_Male> and check out everything. <Speech_Male> Ruthie at <Speech_Male> Ruthie. <SpeakerChange> Lindsey <Speech_Male> and <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> I and <Speech_Female> yeah <Speech_Telephony_Female> and I <Speech_Telephony_Female> I have on <Speech_Telephony_Female> my website. I <Speech_Telephony_Female> have I'm <Speech_Female> creating a <Speech_Female> an email. <Speech_Female> Ezra I'll be sending <Speech_Female> out these things <Speech_Female> that I'm learning right now <Speech_Telephony_Female> and practices <Speech_Telephony_Female> that I do and <Speech_Telephony_Female> you know <Speech_Telephony_Female> with <Speech_Telephony_Female> this crazy <Speech_Telephony_Female> time. Like <Speech_Music_Female> there's not going to be <Speech_Music_Female> a book tour but we're going <Speech_Telephony_Female> to be doing like <Speech_Telephony_Female> a virtual book tour <Speech_Music_Female> and you can follow along <Speech_Music_Female> with all of that on <Speech_Music_Female> my website and I'm going <Speech_Music_Female> to be creating <Speech_Telephony_Female> content <Speech_Music_Female> for book <Speech_Telephony_Female> clubs and <Speech_Telephony_Female> you know <Speech_Telephony_Female> maybe skyping answer <Speech_Telephony_Female> book clubs and <Speech_Telephony_Female> things like that. <Speech_Telephony_Female> Just rethinking <Speech_Telephony_Female> how to do this <Speech_Telephony_Female> whole <Speech_Telephony_Female> this <SpeakerChange> whole <Speech_Telephony_Male> time. You know <Speech_Music_Male> this whole season. It's just <Speech_Music_Female> it's just crazy <Speech_Music_Female> that we're just kind of rethinking <Speech_Music_Female> how to <Speech_Music_Female> <Speech_Female> Best <Speech_Male> get this <SpeakerChange> out and <Speech_Male> everyone can ruthie. <Speech_Male> Thank you so much <Speech_Male> for joining us again. The last <Speech_Male> was three twenty <Speech_Male> five. If you want to hear <Speech_Male> all <Speech_Male> the gory details <Speech_Male> of Oh my goodness <Speech_Male> comes back <Speech_Male> to traumatize. <Speech_Male> When I hear you even recapping <Speech_Male> it. <Speech_Telephony_Male> It's <Speech_Male> it's a pleasure <Speech_Music_Male> to see you and to see your <Speech_Music_Male> growth and to hear your story <Speech_Music_Male> and then so glad <Speech_Music_Male> you're sharing with other people <Speech_Music_Male> and <Speech_Music_Male> we'll see again <Speech_Male> saying okay. <Speech_Music_Female> <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> Thank you for <SpeakerChange> having me. I'm <Speech_Music_Male> <Advertisement> so appreciative <Speech_Music_Male> <Advertisement> wins. <Speech_Music_Male> <Advertisement>
"ruthie" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast
"Personally do it on my computer and I close my eyes and I'm probably on the wrong keys. It doesn't matter you're never going to look at it again. It's just a way to process to get this out to you. Know give yourself a chance to feel the emotions like I wasn't allowed in my home too so rage or anger or but you know it was like just mile. You know. Everything's Okay you're so lucky and so. I- swallowed all of those emotions and there were times when I would do in present day Steph where I would call people names like sweet will. Ruthie would have never set. I'm like I cannot believe I just his name's but my Bonnie Bell pits so sure a little confused on how the extra test so at present day which is eighteen and over yes. Eighteen killed today. Yes that's like an it's childhood yet. So childhood present day and personality wasn't you don't have to do the personality when I didn't get what's that one that's basically all the math worn world got it. Yeah and also. Mccoll has way more details. Like I'm giving you a very cliffnote and I. It's not my thing. This is just so she has a very detailed things online. Where you can learn from that. But it's such a helpful tool to process trap emotions in your body and you sit down and then imo the connect to the feelings associated with those memories. You basically you literally just right. It's like you just let yourself right it out and for only twenty minute and your body is so why 'cause it was created to heal it's GonNa pay you through where you need to go like you might start one place and end up. Totally different place in things will come up at. You didn't even write down that you didn't remember but when you're allowing yourself to start that process emotion start rising and there are times that. I was screaming. There were times that I was cussing people out loud. There were times I was just meeting. And it's hard. It's hard work but we also are. It's like that's that's the work right and the more we do it so basically twenty minutes alarm goes off you stop and you select all delete. If you're writing on paper you tear it up but because this is a process like if you're sitting there processing about your children are Prophet of this is not for anyone to read. You'RE GONNA get out every feeling you might say. I hate my has been an extra feeling. It's not necessarily true. It's just at the moment you felt that and you need to give yourself a face to process that feeling. I WANNA put my children to the moon. They're making breaking crazy. I wish I never had kids. You ultimately believe that no but in that moment you felt it and then he felt shame about things swallowed it in your body. Hold onto those emotional Roy. This twenty minutes is up and you select all delete on paper care that shut up like not to be seen.
"ruthie" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast
"Being sweet and pretty and kind of showing up and you know. My mom is a child. Alcoholics and do a lot was about showing up. Even though things could be really hard you just show up and smile and kind of swallow the hard thing and so I had really I really really cared. What other thoughts and the idea of being sent away and everyone knowing about it that like took me on a journey and I literally the next day started weaning myself all the narcotics and whatever. It's I mean the motivation was ridiculous. Ridiculous but also I was the best decision ever made was to get off of those jobs because You know they were doing nothing. Thurs me and Mark. Politics for people in chronic pain and the paints see the the reason there's a link between the pain and the trauma is in part. The brain called the insular cortex it. It's literally the the part of the brain. That's responsible for feeling now. I don't mean sensory feeling like on your fingertips or somatic pain if you hit your hand with a hammer. It's interesting that feeling what's going on in our body and it includes things like misery and you know all sorts of other feeling states that were in that we call emotions but they really are generated from our body and the insular Cortex is going. Crazy doesn't regulate doesn't record the way it should. Let's say when you've been traumatized and so you have all this trump all my God all the trauma. It's no wonder things are fine. And then the and then the opiates make that part of the brain worse makes it more intense so. I know my listeners are going to want to know what. What were these experiences. Give give us a couple. You know what could blow can I do? I'm sure people are thinking those things you speak. Focus so glowingly about the transformation. Give me give me a call of examples of things you've experienced and what that was like that helped me relief of pain. Yeah so I learned since one of the first things was this woman named Nicole sack.
"ruthie" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast
"Well it's called unspoken with the idea that are secrets. Keep US sick. And when we speak out loud the things we feel shame and darkness in about And take power away so we interview people that the world would know for They're still sat. But we love to talk about like being human being versus human doing so. We don't actually talk about what they do. Which that's kind of what the world knows and before we talk about their journey and they're healing journeys and we know the levy like really whole hearted people that are willing to talk about things and healing so. It's been a really sweet time. I've learned so much from everyone we've had one and route the euro stories dramatic. I what was the She was married. We have that one. We know what number was right there at the top of your sheet gone with it episode. Three twenty five which everything's out from behind the pay wall all right so we're going to get them so three twenty five but I'm GonNa ask you to even though they can go there and listen to your story in detail. I'm going to ask you to recap your story a little bit again. Yeah So an elevator pitch version of it. It's basically when I was a senior in high school. I was hit by an ambulance and he my car door going about sixty five and I broke my long long clap. Lean ruptured in a row. See One and fee to and Look on life support in the hospital for a while and for about a month and back then they used wire and final court fusion so they found from my hip and wrapped it with wire and I was very lucky. A Super Young I left there with a big old neck. Brace in my head shaved and We're macneice like six months and walked out of there and I just you know I kinda went back to life as normal I now. I know I was very very disassociated. I kind of talked about it like it was in third person like it was way harder for my family and friends. I thought it was me and I Looking at me you'd never know I have all. My scars are hidden my clothing and my hair and I would like get the work if I didn't have any repercussions at the time And so I went to College. I graduated again very disassociated. I cried for like five or six years. I definitely was a compulsive overeater. I think I was just trying to stop emotions because I just didn't know how to handle it. Did let me ask you. Did you have a head injury as part of the whole incident head? Yes I just want to just head injury stuff to you. Know what I mean. You kind of got fully present after head injury for him. You're lucky if you come all the way back right. And so right and then it's easy then to not connect with the emotions because you're biologically disconnected. Hopefully yeah and then I learned a lot more in the last year or two about them kind of early childhood trauma. Also I think I would actually disassociated before the wreck even happened. Just kinda brought everything.
"ruthie" Discussed on Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe
"Worthy of that you're so worthy of that. Do you talk about all this. Podcast is that yeah you know right now. I want people to just go. Listen to you that they can just oh think. Yeah Yeah We're we've taken a break. My friend Have you heard of onsite? Yes so my friend. That's why my podcast with and What do you mean? Yeah like miles. The guy that started to have my podcast with. That's incredible let's like exactly the kind of thing that's doing if it was in Nashville but yet he. They had their second baby and have just been doing all a prison. So we've duck in a break up hoping that we can pick pick it back up. We have Su- seasons out and we interviewed people. The idea is saying that things that are hard to say with that. They take the power away when we speak out loud. The things we feel. Shame misset about darkness about it. Takes the power away and then our other thing is like we walk around human doings not human beings so we interview people that the world would know for like their craft like out of actors musicians and yet. But we don't really talk about their work. We just talk about their hearts and their souls and their journeys and Great. So it's really. It's probably good for them too because you know everyone usually wants to. Just oh you're musician. Let's talk about your music. Nobody you know dives deep into who they are as people in interviews. Yeah Yeah Yeah so. It's really it's really really sweet And Yeah you can listen to it anywhere. It's called the unspoken podcasts. But Yeah I talk about all this And I have you know a website. And what is your website? It's just ruthie Lindsey Dot Com and es Iwo and same for Instagram at Repealing Z. And I'm actually just now starting a newsletter so I'll be like doing meditations people and just kind of what I'm learning I'm grappling with and when I'm with you know all the thing. Yeah so I'm excited about that too. Well I give away. Instagram US at the end of my podcasts. For people who are just you need to follow and my instagram. He goes to you. Today could be changed my life in one hour. No I'm serious and I just I can't wait for. I'm so glad you live in Nashville forced upon you. Wait sign me up. That's so amazing. And I wanted to say you also spoke with Brown. You or did that have that is she. Is I mean who doesn't love for neighbor? I know she's next level. I remember finding her so many years ago on Youtube like on her one you know vulnerable. Youtube video the Ted too. I remember just watching that over and over again and she really started my like self love journey. Wow yeah that's so incredible and I didn't even know he needed to be on that journey until I watched her. Wow yeah that doesn't so cool that got to she's just a Rockstar. Yeah Max level. Yeah one of my greater teachers. Yeah in it for amazing. Who is who is your favorite like meant Mentor Gilbert? Okay she's like me. I mean Oprah. Hello well yet but queen. Everybody's but I love Liz Gobert and Cheryl straight of both been massively impactful me Like tiny beautiful things I think is one of the best books. I've maybe ever read Greeley away. Probably fifty copies. Wow of that book. Not even kidding. It's so important it's like it's my Bible. It's just uttering. Yeah so my gosh. I'm so excited for reread it so I mean it's just pure truth. Yeah she's the woman that wild The movie did you ever see wild with reese witherspoon. I I saw it but I know what you're talking about that. That's her story. A tiny beautiful things is hands down my favorite book. Okay yeah so good so good so excited to read it. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for being here today and again everything. I'm just like the way I told you. I don't know if I said this on. The podcasts are off that I was just. I knew I was supposed to be friends with Arielle like I feel that same way. I'm so glad we met. You're on the side guests and I'm so amazing so many people. I'm so happy that so many people can listen to everything that you just had to say. Thank you so much. What an honor. Nell so grateful. Thank you so much. I am so grateful. Thank you and everybody go. Follow Ruthie. Lindsey go to your website. Do all the things read your book. Not just say like twenty first. That'll be out well. We'll have to do another podcast. 'cause I do great therapy every week where it's just like you know. We do choose different topics to just talk about right now. I'm doing bachelor recaps. But that's GONNA be over soon so I would love to have you back on on We we missed your confession today. So we're GONNA have to. We're going to go back to that unless I have a short one. Okay tell me. Tell me. Tell me that I grew up literally married my first boyfriend and I was just this super naive like really sweet. I mean when he and I split up I'd never slept in a bed with another man. Never been drunk. I'd never done late literally unreal and seriously until it's the first time which was like twenty three. Yeah every time I look at a woman pregnant like dance. I'm not kidding I would think. Oh my God. They have to be so embarrassed that their dad knows no way. That's how like naive and just I would. Every time I'd see a pregnant when I was like dad knows every human isn't having sex. God I came from sex. You know that right. That's so what is that insane. It just like it's all about how you grew up and no smoking less media. Bless you bless my little heart. It's so sweet. I mean that's funny that every time idea pregnant when dad knows and her dad does that. So thank you again to just keep talking to you and and do it other. Podcasts can't wait. Yeah come Kaelin Bristow. All students students thanks for listening to Oscar divine with Kaitlyn. Bristowe get new episode every Tuesday. It's collusively on podcast. One DOT com the podcast. One and to describe on Apple podcasts TV..
"ruthie" Discussed on Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe
"That's friends without the our best fiennes in your book. Is it it just kind of your journey of what has happened to you in the healing and yeah actually it changed a lot? It completely changed. I mean the story up to you. You know living in my bed and all that didn't change but like what. The message is really changed. The ending is completely different. And then wait. Do you want to hear some real? Woo Yeah lasts completely different because of what happened last year. So this is so cool. My Dad's all a part of this. Yes Oh cool. Okay so last Christmas. My mom not this past The one before my mom's like hey have you ever done like a DNA test Because you know your dad all I mean my parents were hippies in my doubt Vietnam and they were crazy. Yeah and she was like you know a lot of your dad's friends have found out. They had kids later in life and I was. Oh I wouldn't be surprised if there's more than one yet that makes total sense and actually I have when I SPEC spoke on Glennon toward Ancestry was like who Supported it or would it sponsor and so I literally Swab my mouth but never looked it up. I'm like really about technology and I never signed in but they had. Dna says like yeah my DNA out there and then a few months later I was speaking to this like intuitive woman. And she goes. I keep hearing missing brother missing. Brothers missing brother and then they keep circling dad in all caps. I'm like okay. That's weird but okay then. I have this like healer lady but I go to. Who's like more spirit than body. She's the most amazing she like doesn't even have a smartphone. You have to like only has a landline. Is She in Nashville? Yeah she's in. I'll take six months to get therapy. But she's so important. He is like my teacher in every way and I tell her this and she is yes you do. You have a missing brother and I was like what I go. Well how do I find him? She's like he's GonNa find you. What end very soon and I was like okay so that was in April last. Take my breath away literally last. May So let me. Nineteen I get a message. I never use facebook. I look by chance on facebook and I get this message from a woman saying hi Ruthie. My husband doesn't have facebook but he recently matched with you on ancestry. I believe you might be relatives and Mike. It's my brother so I give my number. Like have him come. He calls me he goes. Do you know I'm calling. Because you're my brother. She knows like I've been waiting for your call joke. I promise you wait. Look at my goosebumps. Okay here's what's in saying. What when my dad was in College? This girl was passing through. Lsu She didn't go to there. She was a senior in high school They hooked up. She got pregnant. Went back home back then. They set girls away. Who got pregnant. no one knew and also a Louisiana's a closed adoption state so he couldn't find a so. My brother was adopted by this family in Oxford Mississippi. He had literally been looking for us for over twenty years on the six year anniversary of his sons passing of an accidental overdose. His wife his whole family got together and she was like. You can't give up. You cannot give up. I'M GONNA sign on like maybe by now. Someone's gotten onto ancestry. Whatever she signs into his account sees my name. His daughter-in-law is there. Goes Ruthie. Lindsey? I follow her on Instagram. They live in Montana like his. I'm like so he's like I'm sure there's more than one like calmed down. She's like no. That is your sister and they get on my website. There's a photo. He literally the only one that looks like my dad. He's the only one that hunts fishes gardens. He has this larger than life personality. Like we have a piece of my dad back. It gets freaking crazy. No I can't either. My full brother and his wife were at his daughter's wedding the year before can wait. What my full brother. And his wife and Family of eight were at his dog. They knew them why did notice his niece because she had worked at this camp. That my brothers that camp doctor every summer she had gotten sick since then for bring. He held her hair back while she vomited his. I can't yeah it no freaking. You can't make this up on my dad is all. He found me on the anniversary of his son's death. Like my dad's I grandson had his so his so since then. He lives in Oxford Mississippi where I went to college to shop at his wife's short store all the time we know we're in the same place at the same time. Oxford's tiny he He's so precious. And so after. Show you the video after this. You'RE GONNA die. I'll give it's the sweetest thing you've ever seen he Like it the amount of lab and connection. He's actually interviewing me for my book tour in Oxford in April. I know it's just the sweetest and like I just know. My Dad is so proud of him like he came to my house literally shakes. His foot crosses his legs the exact same mannerisms wow. He had been looking for respite. Twenty five years. I cannot believe twenty eight years I know and now you have the special bond with him and is your whole family so they came down to our farm. A MOM is so amazing like she. She's like we have appeared dad bad like she loves him so so much. We're all going down to Louisiana in April They're naming like a library in the school. After my dad the whole family will be there and I mean you just you kiss. Make this stuff up in the muscle Russia and this is how in. So you're so when you're writing your book it the whole ending changed because I'm like this is so this is my dad like he is. Wow all of this. You can't make it up. It's insane. It's so precious and I just I literally and I mean associates yearly Caitlyn Lake. All of it every single thing that happened like it all had to happen and if like all of it had to happen to get me to this point so I can get to be one of so many light workers that are in the world where yet a reminder and Amir like I would him to find you and like yes. He's never known like he never knew his family. You know it's just the sweetest. And he had been looking like even his adoptive parents were like. We want you to find your. We WanNa know where you came from. Because they're they're just these booming got larger than life storytellers. Like he does similar work to. I mean it's just.
"ruthie" Discussed on Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe
"You're being told that you won't Walker Talker. Yeah it was crazy it got even more insane like that time was just super traumatic. Like A few weeks later my dad. Who called Papa Just this like larger than life. Six four booming like smile that you know just spread across his face. The candice is you've ever seen yeah he When we were children every time he lied brothers and I love you so much. Remember your manners an always look out for the little guy and that was his thing is to look for the people that everyone else would miss you. Enter in with them and So he had told my mom and my godfather. He has come to see me to tell me he'd sell our farm so I could have the surgery because insurance. It was a pre existing injury. An insurance wasn't going to cover it and we don't know exactly what happened He had stopped to see our amish. Rents he literally plowed our garden with a mule. I'm no I swear to you. I just took a second to register really out our garden with Mule. We had amish friends. Yeah and he had stopped to see them. He'd go every few months and it was like a halfway. Stop to Nashville. And I don't know exactly what happened but we got a phone call That somehow he had fallen down a flight of stairs no and ended up passing. Breathe image. Own like Gosh you so crazy. I just went to the bathroom before I came in here. Y'All have the Cologne that he wore which I haven't seen what in like a decade. It's that lum that green bottle of lyme rated and I just got teary in your own. Your toilet I'm like oh my gosh is like go ahead. Shave his aftershave like why not married. I never see that I've literally I have no idea. It's it's not like a spray for like bathroom. It's aftershave I'm like speechless from Arizona's happening right now so teary I'm like what the World Alex spent like. Oh No oh my gosh way that soul do well. Do you believe in that kind of stuff. So we will listen. I'm here for all things. Get Real Weird to me. Oh real real weird so that is to me. I'm like well that is it's so precious. See LIKE I. I mean it was isn't that I had that wreck. Yeah and I'm pretty positive. I died in it. I've actually had a lot of energy work. People say you know you've died and I like Ya and even my best friend that was in the wreck with me in high school. He was like really. You're hanging over the window the wheel and did it make a sound. Didn't we didn't seem like you're killing three to five minutes and then all of a sudden you start gurgling and it's weird like when I've done like my chart when they do readings for Astrology I have so many of the characteristics of a November second birthday. Now really wait like you're were reborn. Is that what you're saying like I died and came back and it's crazy so anyway my dad so speechless. I know it's crazy. Yes go on. He it was just like a massive loss. It wasn't just a loss for me and my family but our whole community. I know he was such a present Sounds like just this precious in what was? Here's where it like. It makes me cry every time I'd never get my godfather ended up setting up this medical fine in my dad's honor because he knew that's his last wish was to make sure. I had the surgery because I was a ticking time. Bomb and basically We start getting. I'm from a very poor community and I didn't grow up with much at all at all I didn't even know until much later like how little we actually had You donnie different. Yeah my in my life. You know felt great Out of nowhere. These checks are coming in and people will be like. Your Dad. Bought my prom dress. Your Dad sent me on my senior trip. Your Dad fix my roof. Your Dad paid my first year of tuition. Your Dad pays my. I mean on an on an auto my godfather who ran the bank will be like yeah he would take out loans so that he could help so like he has dream was to help me because he'd love people so well he did like this insane. Amount of money was raised for me to have the surgery because my towel because he was just helping so many people along the way of his life. Yeah wow so then. I've never heard a story like this. It's insane but it's also there's so much like grace over all of it. I mean the support our community here in putting on a benefit and raising like twenty thousand dollars and We were just so blown away by people. I mean like you're seeing right now. The tornado like yeah show up in droves and are just so incredible and so supportive and I ended up being pursued by Dr like they get off on being the. I wanted to do a love that shit. Yeah yeah so I You know it was so hard. No one had ever done it but it was so hard to know who does that. And that's up to you to choose. Which surgeon does this for you? Of course of course and and that so that surgery was giving you the risk of what was the arrest but I if I did it was a sure thing that I would be. Paralysed or I mean who knows brain dead right right? You know so it was like that. That's the only option is to get the wire out. But we didn't know what the surgery would cause you know right And what kind of damage would come if come out walking if I would be. I mean we didn't know what are your feelings like so you picked a surgeon. Yeah I ended up choosing Mayo. I chose this like top neurologist topper the peak surgeon who really wanted to do it There was like a nine hour surgery and they ended up. They remove the wire. Just the wire that was in my brainstorm. There's still a lot still wrapped around my spinal cord but They took the peace out that was in my brain Took bone from my other hip. And then they refused it with like six titanium screws they don't use wire anymore And also very all the details of that time but it was traumatic and that surgery was so hard and I just wanted my dad. Of course it was paying out of told you I lived at like a nine. I was like just kidding. I had no idea that you could. That pain could be that severe. And what was hard as Adleman taking so many narcotics up to that point that and so they couldn't get my pain under control because my tolerance tolerance was insane and does not affect. How like going under for that long of a time. I'm sure I don't even know. Honestly the whole time is just I was not in my body. I was completely checked out and I wasn't able to handle. I mean I literally my brothers and my axe stepped in and my brothers are both in the medical field. And we're so how 'cause I could not function at all like not no. And what were your feelings going where you just numb going into the surgery. Yeah yes terrifies I WOULD. I would kinda wave between even like with my dad's passing. I think I would go between being like a little girl like mm-hmm Ryan L. Like I just wanted to my dad you know to being completely stonefaced checked out like my i. There was there was nothing. This is all coming from like my friends are around me my best friend and and then I would also just move into just utter. We being fear just out of control like I don't know what to do. Yeah you know I think I kind of just went between those three things and in that severe of a situation in that kind of surgery like and going through the trauma that you've already been through and the emotional trauma of losing your dad everything you would think your body would kinda give up in that situation like because of how our bodies are so amazing seriously so strong and so resilient and so capable and at that point. I really thought my body was against me. Yeah it hated me. And that's been such a beautiful part of the journey of you know like this beautiful body. No kidding just holding me and loving me and protecting me and calling me home to myself to heal right like it was always loving me so beautifully but I was. I really hated and I call it. You know like no. I would only call my body. Sheikh like she loves me. Yeah but yeah that whole time was crazy and I was so lucky I left with another neckbrace For another four to six months With the wire in my hand walking after about a week and a half And it was interesting. I ended up getting really severe Neuropathy or nerve damage so like my right side just felt feels like it's on fire In the best way now describe this I don't know. Have you ever experienced variance? You're not from here so I don't know ready. It's it's intense. It's crazy regularly. Feels like fire and one time my right foot was standing in a pile of radiance and I didn't know it. My brother yelled at me to move and I ended up having just tons and tons and tons of fire bites up my right leg because I didn't notice it because it's always on fire and I was disassociates. It was both and but that's how severe it was right. I actually walked straight back to my bed and lived in my bed for two more years cause I was in just as much pain. It was a different type of pain and I left Mayo. Even on more narcotics I was on the highest level of fitness pitch. Fitna Patch that they have they give to like dying cancer patients. I was on Morphine Heidrick. Oh I mean just a ziplock bag filled with drugs you know and completely dependent on them and I after about two years ended up catching us. crazy bacterial infection called C diff in the hospital But honestly it was like the best thing that happened to me. It was so horrible. You Literally Shit your pants. Non Stop People die from it. Because it's you're so tight it's insane But but it ended up hitting like I had ended up hitting a wall. Like you wouldn't believe my ex was on tour in Australia. He just couldn't deal with it anymore which I don't blame him. I couldn't take care of myself. I kept ended up in the emergency room so sick and so finally told my family how bad it was and ended up having to move back home and I moved back into my brother's house. Who was like my other? I literally slept in his room telling high school and I had a complete. I mean I love calling it my breakthrough. Belmont my breakdown. I didn't sleep for so long. I knew my marriage was coming to an end. I wanted to die The idea of not waking up felt like that would be the greatest gift because I felt like there was no hope you know. I was like if I'm going to hurt like those in. It's just going to get worse and worse. I don't want to be here And my family They're so incredible and basically they were going to send me to get help and I cared so much about what people thought of me so much that literally I was like you're not sending me away. The next day started winning myself off of all of the drugs Because I didn't want people to think that I I didn't want people to know Because I cared so freaking much and whatever it took like that fear that insecurity it it ended up being the best thing because getting off of those drugs was the best thing that I that is done. I mean that is not easy to do especially after with chronic pain after everything. I've been through after for five years being on them but that's how bad it was. It was literally like I will die. I want to die. Yeah and I mean I always think about situations where I mean people feel that way just going through a break up in general you know like there are people out there who have such a bad break up that feeling that is the end for them and then you think about everything else. You went through on top of that. It's like you are so reconstructing you are. It's I'm just like I've never been speechless in a podcast. I usually have so much to say. And I'm just like mindful and listening to your story and just so curious how you how you did that and how you turn it around. Yeah it's been a wild journey and you know I. At the time I had so much support in my family was so incredible and I remember my brother told me he was like you can lay in your bed and hurt all the time or you can get up and be with people. Try to love people and serve people and live and hurt like those are two options. Yeah and that sounds so basic browse like. Oh and you know I. At first the day I started winning myself. I made this list. And as at eight o'clock you get out of bed and you're not allowed to get in the bed until it's dark and I had to relearn how to live like it was literally like eight. Oh five make the bed. Brush your teeth Eat Get up and literally. It was like going through the motions and it was on like what people do all day. Literally I had no idea and I was so miserable so numb and I was just in state of depression and Numbness and yell just trauma I just. It's it's crazy hearing you say like you made Olympic..
"ruthie" Discussed on Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby
"That's really fucking hard so like it's either do this hard work and live this freedom like I actually saw right. You're going to be hard either way. It's going to be hard either way but on the other side of doing that. Work is such goodness in such joy and such freed on like I don't and I'm sure at plenty other times I'm gonNA feel the bondage but I felt it you know and other really hard painful things will happen. 'cause it's an art school in. Yeah but I have these tools and I do feel this like freedom now. I feel joy on a level that I didn't think that I could. I feel you know I like last week. I'm walking around Marrakesh with like one of my closest friends from Europe and I'm like how is this real seven years ago. I couldn't get out of bed and I wanted to die and I thought my life was over and if I hadn't done this work I could not experience this eight. I couldn't appreciate this. I didn't think that was about every experience I had at that time was just through television. I couldn't I wasn't living and like Oh my God if I am chosen life it to do this work like I agree that your work that you did on your pain is now your huge career but now you even elevated from leading like you're not using it as a drug now to say like you were talking earlier on how you phrase that but like using that as a fix now you've even elevated from that too. It's like you have done all this work. You continue to work to. Now you're in the purpose work or you're truly feeling like heavenly joy on earth at time now I you right there still in our school. Yes and I'm human but you know how feels to feel heavenly joy the difference and it's just it's so different from like happiness you know. I don't I don't seek happiness actually because that's like fleeting and it's it's usually based on kind of surface year things and you know and but there is a even in the midst of really traumatic horrible things. I can have peace and feel hopeful and Phil Joy That wasn't possible for me before I don't know it was like numbing myself Are you able to feel that because you trust your journey so much I guess so? I think because I've also embraced all the shadow traumatic kind of the deeper sorrow cars. And here being the joy you can contain. It's not humanly possible to have one without the other and just feeling sorry for yourself in sad isn't actually experiencing the trauma and letting yourself process it. Those are very different things because I felt really sad all the time and I felt very sorry for myself. But I wasn't experiencing joy so still numbing. Yeah right But processing trauma experiencing it being in it like owning your story going back in because there is so much freedom. I don't feel owned by that story anymore. It doesn't own me 'cause I owned it right. The power is not there anymore. I don't feel Like I said like that paint story is literally the least interesting thing about me like I literally. Don't care because it's just like let's talk about healing that freaking thrills me because everyone has pain story. Yeah everyone has a pain story. And I care about people's paint stories but I can read in milliseconds when someone so defined by it and actually my manager yesterday we were chatting and it was funny and I say this lightly because I don't I don't know I feel like I need to like whatever she was talking about Pain communities and I did. I said I think there's a time for that and I think there are service for people to be able to go to each other that people that know what you're experiencing. That's so important and that's a piece of the journey. Can you need to be able to talk it out? Who can nine to the METOO thing? That is the most powerful important piece. But then there's also a piece after that. I'm not a part of any sort of pain group therapy as you work through that because now I don't I don't even think I it's just not that I don't still have pain. I do I do and I think I'm going to be able to continue to heal and but I do But it's so not my identification anymore. Yeah and it's so not an I am not dismissing. I think that plays such a vital important role because I agree. I totally agree. But then there's a next. There's another there's A. There's another where it no longer because in that phase it's easy to be identified with it and if you're just sitting around with other people talking about your pain all the time it's just easier to be consumed with it if you don't keep growing gap moving. Yeah and so you know but pain again. It's universal like I interact with people with pain every day. It doesn't necessarily have to be physical pain but everyone in my life has pain on some level but ms were human. It's the human condition but we also aren't leading with it. Yeah you know and again like you know being America and being with everyone for five or six days before they knew my story it was just it was so sweet because I forget it's like you know like after people talk about in there like I had no idea. I love that that's the best compliment you could ever ever give me. You know because it isn't who I am. I'm excited an honored. What an honor that I get to share this with you and share the message of healing and hope on the other side of trauma but in the same vein like we even like the next. We didn't talk about it again. Yeah 'cause I who cares like there's so much more you know and like I I do feel like it's an honor that you know. Usually when people learned my story they WANNA share their pain story with me. And it's an honor to hold that space for people but then. I'm also really excited to learn about other parts of them. You know like yes. Share that with me and I will sit with you and then let's go like learn. I want to learn about the other things. Let's go experience. What's around us and not to stay so parked in that land? You know yes I'm not gonNA define you buy your pain. Yeah you might be there right now but I. I know you're not I see you in. You're not this pain you are not. It's so hard when you're in. The midst of especially at the beginning could guide. It's so hard not to be defined by it it's so all consuming And I get it but I think it would be a disservice for me to let for me to define them by that to You know what I mean I do and so I try as lovingly with like you know a Lotta Grace and I'm sure I've messed up. I will continue to but I WanNa learn just like what do you do I you know I wanNA learn about them outside of their pain story that thrills me I want to learn about your soul about your heart about your journey. Not just about your pain But Yeah it's a journey in all on it and it's like we're all at different stages and I have such a long way to go and I will continue doing work and I hope I never ever ever stop being curious or ever think that I've arrived or ever think I have it all figured out because all have moments of that and then I it's like comedic 'cause I will fall on my ass. Oh really means you hit a plateau. And I'm like spiritually so chill. Unlike I might as well have signs in the air at all time every time I get knocked down worse than before. Yeah Yeah and that's also that's like it's loving for us because it brings us back to reality and it brings us back to ground zero like everyone else. No one has it all figured out. We're all the same all souls in Earth School doing the best. We can walking around with a lot of trauma and a lot of pain and I tried it when I see people acting out or doing things that are. I can be very judgmental 'cause I'm honestly it's usually when I'm being really judgmental of myself than I can go out in the world and be very judgmental of others and when I'm being a lot more lemmings myself have so much more grace for those around me but when I am going around and I'm seeing things that people are acting out or whatever I try to remember that their soul is so pure they're acting like Obama's hurt people hurt people here acting out of unresolved trauma. They are wounded like not. Why do you do this but what happened to you? Yeah what happened right because that is a person in so much pain Do you have to let them into my life? Do I have strong Boundaries Hill. Yeah I'm not trying to be best friends with that person but like I can still love them of our opted judge them and I can see their higher sells their souls are in the air and I think there's also something really important when we see people doing hard things are. We are doing hard things that are hurting other people you know to try. I think for a long time especially some of the messages are heard in church is like. I know who you're capable of being instead of just being like I liked you for exactly who you are right now my friend. Katie messer and I had a long talk about that one time so I was talking about someone that I just was really struggling with and I'm like I know what they're capable of and like I see it and I know you know. And she's like what if you just really accepted and loved them exactly as they are right now not who you hope they can be who they should be or who you want them to be but that is the most loving thing that you can give to anyone. Yeah the most loving to have take except the horrible behavior no but like. I like not just like I love you. I like you You know that is that's revolutionary. I believe I agree revolutionary. And that's I don't always do that very well at all and also I sometimes find it comical with myself when I'm in that same position thing like God. Why does this person do this? Come on Oh my God. I tried to catch myself on on Mike. And you know like you were in their soul. And you're in their brain and you're in their purpose and their reason for being on this earth so I clearly know why they should be who they be commuted. I need to get I let me. I knew everyone on this earth needs to be because I got the flawless script. Right you know. I was the one that received the perfect information like. Oh I know that I actually can say that something like a hot mess all the time like. Why do you think that you would know what their why they came here? And like what their little personality needs to go through to get there. I know. Well it's I mean. They always say like specially the stuff that were the most harsh about and most judgmental stuff that we usually have on some struggle within our own shadow you know that we haven't accepted and owned honoured and loved and all the things so I mean we're just we're all doing the best we can. Life is just frigging hard and so beautiful in so fucked up and so wonderful and so hard and all the things it's just is it's all of it no and you can't have one without the other and we don't hide or fill shame about any of it. No we're human. That's why me too is so powerful. Young we have these hard conversations and talk about our shadow stuff and talk about our shame it. The power goes away. Yeah and that's beautiful. Yes Yeah I love that Ruthie Man. I'm so thankful that you wrote this book and I read a wrap up because we already hour and a half. This is amazing thing there I am. It's not yet it comes out April twenty first. Okay you want. Everyone needs to get this and you speak all over the place and honestly I just think you you're the kind of person that's so important this world because you're speaking this message. The lot of people a haven't gotten to the place in your life. I guess where they hit such a place where they had to make a choice. Like how am I gonNA live. But you have made the choice to really Jews. This journey of healing..
"ruthie" Discussed on Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby
"Was on morphine. I was on Hydra Coda. I mean I was on a ziplock bag filled with drugs and I weaned myself off of all of it So how did you make that choice though? Because you're on this line where it's like you. WanNa die but then said you chose to live like what? How'd you make such? That's a big choice. Honestly original motivator was. I didn't WanNa get away. That's where it started because I cared so much of what other people thought of me. So then you really you still care to live at first. I didn't. I don't think I would have said I want to die. I just remember thinking police fall asleep in is let it be. Let it be over. This is an living hell nightmare and I don't WanNa be here but I'd never like would have done anything to be happy. I know The first motivator was literal fear of what other people thought and I didn't want to be sent away. 'cause I was way caught up in all of that and so thank God. Whatever it took to motivate me to start winning myself off the drugs and as I started winning myself off drugs my brain started coming back and I was able to start thinking clearly like your shell of human. Like narcotics are not created for chronic pain. It's for acute pain. That's GONNA go and I've been on all of this for seven years and you just need more and more I was a shell of human was not myself. I couldn't think like myself I couldn't I had stopped sleeping. I was just I was not there and so as I started sleeping as I started winning myself off these drugs my brain started coming back and I was able to start seeing clearly and you know I really feel like. I don't know if it was like my dad. My guides might a higher version of myself came through and I was able to remember. I told myself to like make a list of all the things I'd love to do before I had pain and at I literally would write these things down. You love sunsets and like no shit about says. Yes you do you of sunset again. Someone is talking to you like. Isn't that cozy? Your higher self is actually communicating with. What is this? What are communicating with your. I mean it's like healer you talking to talking to my higher self was talking to my person and paint myself in pain that was suffering and trauma mode and in survival are two distinct. We all have our higher selves. And that's why also meditation is so until we get still in quiet you know. We have the voices usually that are running. Our heads are like critics. And they're the worst of parents or the church or or you know like yes that told us that if conditioned us to believe these things about ourselves. That just aren't true. We've put on a pedestal and we're looking for answers and we're like he's we want to make us will save these people we since their tangible we can disappoint them and that's terrifying absolutely so that's why I said earlier. It's just it's been literally and I'm learning remembering but so much of that came in like stillness and quiet and when like you know. Liz Gobert talks about writing to love every day in her journal and talking to love and she's like fears taking over our monkey. Brains running wild and love will always show up always because it's greater than any any any other voices in this world. It's the most beautiful but we have to like you. You have to listen and you have to like get still and and so yeah in that time you know. I wrote these things. I'm like you. You love dancing and danced in seven years. I like you love Actually that's the title of my book. funny story This was not long after my husband had left and Justin Timberlake has been number one favorite of mine since I was like in high school and he had a new record. Come out and I'm like Oh my God. The universe loves me. So much and Jimmy Fallon had justin timberlake and every night. Justin Timberlake was the Special guests on the Fifth Night. He was special guest. He did like Fifteen minute medley. Of all his greatest hits and he did like a history route five or something and literally. When I would feel like I was GonNa die and I was in like fetal position and bill to survive this. I would watch my Tivo up. Justin Timberlake one Justin Timberlake and I would giggle and I would laugh. And at one point One Night. I was watching him and I got up and dancing and I saw my reflection in the window and I literally go. We'll the're I home because I had not dance. I mean when I was a child. I never got out of the dance costume like I literally was dancing. I would just walk up to strangers and start shimmying like I love dance more than I can ever tell you when I lived in my bed. I didn't do anything that I thought would cause my pain to be worse so I did nothing. I didn't go look at sunset in dance. I didn't spend time with people and so all of a sudden here I was. I saw I saw that higher rate. Your hires told you. Will you remember that he audibly hearing that in your brain and it was because of sweet just like some people get a Jesus? I went to Justin. Listen whatever works. I think God works to all leave it. I will leave it. He was used that night. And I yeah I started seeing glimpses of myself you know and I started making myself do one of the things on that list each day and I it was just going through the motions and I think so often we how does she think to write these things down again telling you it's just my higher self. I don't know so it started because you don't want to get sent away where people thought waning off the drugs trying to remember. What made you happy what majors I feel dead inside and at first none of it. None of it felt like anything I'd go. Sit and watch a sunset and nothing. I would go smell the flowers. I love flowers so much and I'm like I don't care. Yeah I I wrote down you of people and I remember maniacally laughing like I don't give a shit about people no I don't and I'm like yes you do. And I had friends at a friend that had been shot in the Colorado Aurora Theater. Shooting in was in Baton Rouge. At the time I had to move home. They had flown her back home and I would like go sit with her in the hospital and at a friend from high school whose husband was literally dying from cancer and I go sit with her in the hospital. Mike Stopping about yourself. And I remember my brother saying he's like pape- you can lay in your bed and hurt all the time where you can like get up and go booth. People love people and serve people live and hurt. We're GONNA hurt either way. Yeah and I. I mean that sounds so basic but I was like you're right. You know it makes a Lotta sense like unless you speak it a lot and actually intentionally choose that like you see why you want to pick the bit. Yes Oh my gosh. I've had like a fricken velcro from my like back my ass to that bed like literally. It took everything in me to get up but I the more I did. The more I started experiencing joy and I remember a few weeks into getting off the drugs and I had been going through my list each day. I remember Walking outside and smelling the flowers called Magnolia. Scotto it's my dad and my favorite and like it comes it unless it's like bananas. I don't know how to describe it. It's so delicious and and amazing and we would stick the buds up. Arnaud's I would literally jump on the trampoline with these buds up puts a miracle but I'll have brain damage but I smelled it. My brother's backyard and I just started weeping. 'cause it was like the first emotions. I felt that were like. It wasn't just from pure trauma in pain that I was crying as it was beautiful and so sweet and I noticed that and I noticed it and I remember also in that exact time I talk about this a good bit. I read this blog and this girl had this quote. The deeper sorrow carves into your Being the joy you can contain. It's this Khalil prime quote and I want you to experience serious pain like that. Well is so open but the love and the joy. You can't have one without the other but when you non pay you number good and I've been coming at all with drugs and TV and food and like foods my number one drug. I love like it's my like I'm a like I have struggled with compulsive overeating and that's what I did constantly. I just to Phnom to stuff it down like thinking about it. It's like you're literally stuffing emotions down because you don't think you can handle the pain and all of a sudden you know as I was starting to to just skim the surface of trying to not numb I was able to feel things on a level that had never felt in this goodness in this. I felt like my new drug became like looking for beauty and speaking about it and like you know talking about it and that became my new source instead of like popping. You know a Hydra Koto. And it's like let's look for the beauty ahead it because I had been so numb in. So disassociated like I had basically been on narcotics pretty much through most of my nieces and nephews lives and all of a sudden you know I had to move home at a move back in with my family because I couldn't take care of myself and like looking at these kids and like a cry but because the most precious miracles seem I had not seen them all of a sudden like literally. I'm so obsessed with them. I can't even now this miracle that they are. They are the most incredible humans. I am so in love with these children. I can't even tell you but I was able to see them in delight like they are delight. Oh they are pure delight and they are one of the greatest gifts of my life you know. And they're just been so much loss and I think in some. I don't think I've ever even put words to this before. But like one of my deepest longings for so long had been I wanted to be a mom and that felt like one of the deepest losses in my life and I think every time like another friend would tell me. They're pregnant or has six children. You know like every like every time she called me. I'm like Oh my God and you're like me. I also felt really sorry for myself. That was not what I that's all I wanted. I didn't WANNA lay in my bed and pain. I wanted to like be outside playing with my children. You know experiencing all these beautiful things. I I felt really really sorry for myself and I was very much parked in that victim. Lime very easy to do that. It's just easy and I think perspective is just everything and like as I started coming back to like clear clarity and like changing my perspective all of a sudden like I'm so in love with my friends children I can't. They are miracles. I get to show up in a way that like you know like I get to come and be the fine aunt in do these amazing things because my life looks different. I'm not responsible. I'm responsible in a different way you know and it's just it's like such a gift. It's such that I have been missing. I had totally be able to take a desire. Okay sorry outcry all because like I. We struggled to get pregnant for a year. Had miscarried his all sorts of stuff. I have about Laura best friends just pregnant and she'd shrugged for almost two years. Like sometimes it's like is even the man there to show up to like. Make the babies when my body will handle this. Why nobody failing me? Why am I not having all these things work out? And it's like you have these deep desires and I am. I try so hard not to be in a victim mentality always because I know I'm blessed I know life is good and I always know there's a meaning but sometimes you just are mad and you're like what the F. Like why do I not get to experience as an take such a bigger wiser person like you to like really shift that mentality in that perspective because it's hard because you want it so much you know. Yeah and I think it's like a both and I think it's really both. Yeah like black and white you know and it's like you have to let yourself feel really. I had to let myself mourn and there's Times at I'll think that I'm like totally pass it and then I'll feel it again like I have to.
"ruthie" Discussed on Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby
"Of Get. Real podcast. I have a really incredible credible woman running. Her name is Ruthie Lindsey I. I saw her when I went to see Glennon. Doyle's how she had a big live speaking conference show that she put on T. Pack and Ruth. Lindsey was one of her guests on Glennon. Doyle wrote lawyer and Gosh. I was inspired by Ruthie Story. She talked about how she was hit by an ambulance when she was a teenager. And how she got all sorts of physical pain that literally crippled her life. She couldn't get out of bed for seven years. It it affected her marriage ended up getting divorced. It affected every area of her life and she just wrote a book called there. I am about her healing process from hopelessness to healing and she talks about all day since of therapy that she's done how she has learned how to overcome Not just physical pain emotional trauma and going back into her life in addressing those traumatic situations and rewiring her brain and her life and her perspective and she talks about how important perspective is in her faith and her spirituality and connectedness and it is really really. She is one of those women in one of those people who has done so much work on their trauma and come to the other side of it that it is nothing short of inspiring and we need people like this in the world to give us hope. And I feel so excited. Share this interview with you is because I left feeling so inspired. I've been in a little bit of a stressful point in my life. Right now national just got hit by a tornado. There's so much going on in the world with like the corona virus careers being a new mom. Everyone has so much on their plate and talk to someone like Ruthie and to really get that sense of calmness and that there is a bigger message in force at play and that that's offer a higher good. It's really comforting. And I hope that you feel that comfort from this interview. I know you will high and here. The ruthie Lindsey. Thank you I've known about you for a long time on different levels because I I heard you speak Glennon. Doyle's event that she put on the T. And it was really awesome and I remember hearing your story and being like Whoa. That's a story right there. And then I'm friends with Vanessa Miles adcocks and.
Sabrina Ionescu on Her Next Move
"Hey Sabrina how's it going good her you that Sabrina UNESCO the presumptive number-one pick tomorrow's WNBA draft? I'm good so the draft is tomorrow night I tell us. What is the scene at? Your House can't be like I'm really just going to be with my parents. My brother and his wife and the twin brother just a small group of us that have been together and just watch the TV in. Have a good time. Are you going to get dressed up in any way which these days means just putting on pants with the button? Yeah No. I'm not going to wear a dress or anything. I think I'm just going to put on jeans and a shirt. That's big in the big. That shows you're serious. I can't remember the last time I wear jeans. But that's neither here nor there. You are not the only duck headed to the pros at your teammates. Bali Ruthie Hubbard are both being projected as first round picks which is of course a reminder to everyone of how good the team was obviously the tournament. Being canceled was a big disappointment after you return for a final season. I want to ask about it this way. What do you think you gained from coming back for that last year? I think I gained so much just maturity leadership and just really the relationships that I built during that last year I mean so many people were excited and happy that I returned in. I mean I think the community just around women's basketball at in Oregon grew when so it was really eye opening to be able to see all the relationships that I made during that year. And just how close a as a team that we got so Obviously that translated on the Evolving my game getting better on all sides so the drafts is happening. Which is great even though it's virtual but there is no certainty right now around the actual season. How are you wrapping your mind around that yet? I mean it's hard trying to figure out when to ramp up training in exactly you know knowing when the seasons GonNa be played in when you're supposed to be in your prime in so just trying to do everything I can to stay in shape so as of now. I'm just running playing basketball working out. You know not trying to do too much too soon. Just because I'm not sure when the season's GonNa start but just staying mentally and physically ready you have wanted to play in the WNBA. Since you are very young we have video evidence that three laws just throwing the ball around again a lot of experience playing on my brothers ten foot from overall value on my basketball experiences looking forward to anymore my family has always been there for as Beijing to keep pushing David. Wnba and now that it's here it's sort of at your footsteps. How do you feel it will be different from the basketball? You played so far. I mean it's going to be completely different. Just the physicality the level of competition. It's kind of just a new way of taking on the game in a new way of basketball. It's going to be completely different than college. High School anything that I've ever done in some really excited for the opportunity to get better and just learn finding different ways to look up to not only my teammates but other veterans in the League. Transfer Ball game in that aspect. Would you anticipate being the most challenging part? Probably just getting adjusted to the physicality in the speed of the game. I mean it coming in as a rookie. There's there's players there that you know I've been planning for ten plus years so they're gonNa make sure no they let you know that you're a rookie in so I think that aspect is going to be fun but also challenging. You got a preview of the pros last November when your team played and beat team. Usa Oregon ducks defeating the United States. National TV ninety three eighty six. What was that like? It was awesome to just be able to share a court with them and learn from them. Obviously the wind was awesome. But I think it was even more special that you know. We're able to sell out crowd against team. Usa just learn from them engage in conversation with them and be able to share court with them because not a lot of people say that they've done that. Was there anyone on that court? That made you geek out a little where you're like. I cannot believe I am right now on a basketball court with person I mean for sure. Like suber Diane Atrocity. There were so many players but I think those would probably be to my favorite just because of gotten to know them a little bit in in being able to play with them. This was an honor so every mock draft every analysts every article has you projected to be the first overall pick. How does that make you feel? I mean until my name's called until I can sign the paper. I'm not too excited about it. I don't WanNa be disappointed so I never expect anything so obviously very humbled excited about the opportunity to be playing in Brooklyn in that organization until here might many call notes official kind of just keeping up level so if you did go first overall a Newark Liberty. Were ten twenty four buses in anywhere you go near the top you'd be on a rebuilding team. How does that strike you joining a team? That's not already on top. I mean I did that organ for the last four years so I know exactly what it's like having to come in kind of build a program from the ground up so that doesn't scare me at all. I'm excited to be. You know a piece of the puzzle in hopefully get things rolling when you look back at your college career. Take stock of it. What was the most special moment to you? I probably just say time with my teammates and getting filed for there were so many highs through those four years in so many great wins and just being able to do that with a group of girls in team that really cares about each other was very special. What was the lowest moment? Probably losing in the final four on my career short. Those two probably the worst. How did you get the news that the tournament was cancelled or coach? Had texted us. Basically just said you guys can stay where you are with your families. You don't have to return gene. The tournaments cancelled arm. Sorry in everyone was responding in that group messages. Our team were chatting so you let us know and obviously it was heart breaking out again. You were expecting it to go that direction. How long did take you to kind of process? You know. I wasn't really processing it. I try not to think about it too much in just like all right. This is out of my control. It is what it is in Kinda. Just try to look forward on on what was next in. There are so many things going on that I didn't really you know. Focus on it too much in. Probably they look back into Swish. That we couldn't went on with the season so we could have seen how it would turn out in what have been able to play my last game knowing it was my last game but just not to look back on it too much. We had an episode. Fivethirtyeight ran a simulation on the tournament. They head Baylor winning now. Our analyst opposed that idea. How do you think it would've played out I don't think we were going to lose again. I guess. Take that as you want it but I did not see us losing again. So that's all I can say. Well I think watching the draft and seeing the number of players who were going to be taken first overall. That doesn't seem like a outrageous proposition. No three out of the top ten probe. We're going to be going to the League from one team that speaks for itself and super excited for my teammates. But I do think it speaks about what we had as a team. They're probably not likely that another team. Whatever you know. Get to that point again. What is the aspect of playing regularly that you miss the most just competing in playing games especially an Eugene is having our fan base in projected to have two more sellout crowds probably about twenty thousand people in Portland if we made it so regionals and so having that support system implying a real game something that all that are missing right now? You mentioned that Oregon Team USA. You guys sold out a game. Obviously you have gotten a lot of people excited about women's basketball some people that maybe weren't as excited before. How do you hope to continue that? When you get to the pros. Yeah I mean it's been awesome sooner transformation in Eugene with fans of for my first year to my last than new hopefully being able to bring To wherever team I end up in Kinda just change the way that they view women's sports in hopefully can bring joy and happiness not competing that is kind of addicting and people do want to be a part of that in watching that culture so hopefully just taking matt from from what. I did an Eugene in bringing that to To whatever team on
"ruthie" Discussed on The Liturgists
"I felt so in the case of a situation. And that's not something I I mean I have that emmy but it's not something I genuinely feel all the time right and it was like I felt so jealous of this experience that this girl was having an I was like. Wow Wow like what high you know like. I literally like hi old friend. I know you you know and I think it's it brought up just some old stories and I went and I wrote and I did this like embodiment thing and I just tried to be really really compassionate and tender. Because my old story would be like. That's so gross. You don't feel that that's not okay. That is not okay. That's fucking gross. Put away that's discussing. You Love Her. Get over it you know and so instead being really really gentle with myself and seeing this as an opportunity to kind of be curious and go in and level myself. I think that more than anything. Because we're not gonNA just like had this all figured out. You can't go sit in front of a new counselor right now. You know what I mean like we. We need each other to be able to process but I think what you can do is try to be so loving and so gentle and give yourself space to write out links. What you're feeling is every feeling matters. Your feelings are matter and look you are given permission to feel whatever you feel like you. You can't push it away if you put it away it just it comes out. Bigger comes out sideways. It doesn't it doesn't go away so I think just yeah compassion and being curious and this time like I'm trying to see when things are triggering like what what timeframe are what. Where did that voice originally come from? You know where did that limiting ways? Where did that? Where was the original wound in like the more I write unlike whoa? I didn't even know I remembered that we're the back. Come from that's crazy. See you know and I'm just trying to curious. I'm trying like the Tappan to my childlike curiosity and go back like the cover. My phone is a photo of me at one in my office in the front of my desk. A picture of me at my first birthday in. I'm dedicating my like embodiment practices to her and by trying to just really. I'm every night. I'm listening to an audio book of someone's voice that in something that feels really nourishing like someone's reading meet asleep and I'm just doing things that film nurturing when things go scary you know. Wow and I'm in this bed alone. I'm scared so what can I do for myself? That feels really nurturing in loving and calming in peaceful end. Yeah whatever that feels like for you. You know like they're you know you have those answers insider view you know. Everyone has those inside of them in knows what feels good for them So I would say really curious about that. You making me weepy here. I love it. Thank you for sharing that routine for letting me there I am. The journey from hopelessness to healing comes out. April twenty. I get it get it Just got your read a book. This book Just this book. I mean Ruthie you were so gracious to me to let me read some early versions of this book before it's in its forum here in Gosh. Every time I read it it felt like I got something new out of it. So this for me. Your book has not just been like a one time read. It's been got every once a quarter once a month book. A what do I need to remember? Oh Yeah Yeah and you have this way of inviting us into believing that the things that you know about yourself that we two could know about ourselves or do on some level already know like there. Is this way that you help us remember remember ourselves. Remember what's true through telling your story and I'm just I personally am so grateful for your friendship and for your book and I feel like Gosh if there has ever been a time. We've needed it. It's now the thank you. Thank you so much. I'm so appreciative. Both of letting me have the space to. It's like. Oh what a gift. I love to for so long so so honored to be on. This podcast has been such medicine to me for so long. I'm Super Super Appreciative. And friendships love just needs more than I can. Put it into words.
Broadway star Ruthie Ann Miles pregnant 2 years after daughter, unborn baby died in accident
"Star Ruthie and miles route the and at her husband. Jonathan Bloom in Stein are expecting a little nugget so the thirty six year old actress. She shared the special pregnancy news on Saturday afternoon Which wasn't Sunday because which is great so not. Everything happened on Sunday since Saturday. Plus she shared her pregnancy news on Saturday afternoon with a heart warming message to her social media followers She also thanked everyone for their wonderful support especially center. Baby announcement comes two years after her. Two kids were tragically killed in a crash. That is just absolutely heartbreaking. Like so I'm GonNa give you guys a quick story or not story but just what went down so back in March of two thousand eighteen A then pregnant ruth and she was pregnant at this time. You guys a then pregnant. Ruthie aunt her four year old daughter. Abigail were hit by a driver as they were leaving church sadly Ruthie and unborn child and her four year. Old Toddler passed away in the tragic accident. And what's even more heartbreak gang? Is that route? The aunt was expected to give birth a few weeks after the accident so she was about to give birth to this baby and then this accident happened so that is your psych so sad. But she's expecting a nude bundle of joy soon so in her instagram posts. She wrote we'd like to announce are very happy news. We are expecting another child the spring. Thank you especially to the many of you who supported us in the aftermath of the crash continually lifted us in prayer and doused us with love encouraged us let us be engraved these two years and now rejoice with us in this news live.
"ruthie" Discussed on Cafecito Break
"Fc <Speech_Female> Dot Org or visit <Speech_Female> our website and <Speech_Female> Send us a <Speech_Female> message through their <Speech_Music_Female> rookie. <Silence> Any <Speech_Music_Female> additional <Speech_Female> words <SpeakerChange> as we <Speech_Female> wrap up. <Speech_Female> Oh my goodness <Speech_Female> I would say. Maybe <Speech_Female> we should focus <Speech_Female> on doing also <Speech_Female> a couple of last year. <Speech_Female> Yoga sessions <SpeakerChange> resume. <Silence> <Speech_Music_Male> <Speech_Music_Female> <Speech_Music_Male> <Speech_Music_Female> <Laughter> <Laughter> <Speech_Female> <Speech_Music_Female> Ooh <Speech_Music_Female> <Speech_Music_Female> <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> I was watching. <Speech_Male> Are Jeffey <Speech_Music_Male> Brier. <Speech_Music_Female> Do It <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Female> Do <Speech_Female> his left the yoga <Speech_Female> and I was definitely laughing <Speech_Music_Female> along with him. <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> But you know if <Speech_Female> full disclosure <Speech_Female> me and Ruthie <Speech_Female> would doing <Speech_Male> a laughter yoga <Speech_Male> exercise before <Speech_Male> we <Speech_Male> went live. <Speech_Female> Could've stop <Speech_Female> giggling? 'cause we <Speech_Female> were talking gibberish to <Speech_Male> each other for like <Speech_Music_Female> a couple of <SpeakerChange> seconds <Speech_Music_Female> <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> talk gibberish <Speech_Female> to each other. That's <Speech_Female> your prescription <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> for the week. <Speech_Music_Female> We'll get <Speech_Female> you're able <Speech_Music_Female> to <Speech_Music_Female> <Speech_Music_Female> <Speech_Female> tackle weep <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> <Speech_Female> John <SpeakerChange> Letter <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> <Speech_Female> so guys we love <Speech_Female> you. It's important <Speech_Female> to be silly <Speech_Female> in these really <Speech_Female> earned times <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> and <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> a hang in there <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> we are with you. We <Speech_Female> are with the <Speech_Female> our indistinct <Speech_Music_Female> gallon. <SpeakerChange> Okay <Speech_Music_Female> <Speech_Female> stay strong <Speech_Female> when <SpeakerChange> we go. <Speech_Female> That's <Speech_Female> right stay strong. <Speech_Music_Male> Walk with fake <Speech_Music_Male> walk with <Speech_Music_Female> kindness. We Love <Speech_Female> You. Everyone <Speech_Music_Female> will see <SpeakerChange> you very <Music> soon. <Speech_Music_Female> <Speech_Music_Female> <Speech_Music_Female> <Speech_Music_Male> <Speech_Music_Male> <Speech_Music_Male> <Advertisement> <Speech_Music_Female> <Advertisement> <Speech_Music_Male> <Advertisement> <Silence> <Advertisement> <SpeakerChange> <Music> <Advertisement> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> Awesome <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Speech_Music_Male> <Music> <Music> Psych <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> God <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> up.
"ruthie" Discussed on Cafecito Break
"Let's take a moment to travel into this and find a little piece here. We can s and feel divinity to feel the warmth to feel the love that surrounds us all the time. Take the beautiful appreciation breath n one more time in your nose. Hold they hold the whole did? Hold it until you can't hold it anymore when you release release all of that fear. Release the CY. We can also choose to be like expectant. Little children excited excited into the mystery of the and I know that that is easier said than done. The magic of the child is medicine that I work with very strongly and she came to me yesterday. I have been pretty calm all week. Ruthie and for some reason yesterday I was in Super Cranky. Mold and Super Cranky was Tantrum. Me I was felt like my little wings got clipped and all of a sudden I was found myself by my altar and there is a little Dow that Irma.
Awards Season: Oscar Nominations
"We have the golden globes recently today we get the critics choice awards tomorrow very early in the morning they will be announcing the academy award nominations so it's the awards season some times we can glean what will probably happen with the Academy Awards by what happens in the golden globes not always sometimes many times it's wall has been monitoring the critics choice awards and I think we should start there to see if maybe the critics choice awards are either going or falling in line with the golden globes or offering a different message if you will as far as what should be honored this year from first look the critics have got a much more on point and then lie with me then the glow okay let's go down some the category Best Actor yes Joaquin Phoenix for joker given that Best Actress Renee Zellweger for Judy yes best supporting actor Brad Pitt for once upon a time in Hollywood surprises there yep best supporting actress Laura Dern for marriage story he didn't see it heard was okay best young actor romaine Griffin Davis for the judge a rabid movie don't know if there are a lot of kids related films on there but Hey sure give it to him best acting ensemble the Irishman art is a good okay good let's look let's let's slow down and talk about that but what I don't know if they're put it this way is far as acting goes I was very underwhelmed by the Irishman I I really think people are more impressed by the names will histories and legacies of the people involved in the movie as opposed to the actual performances most people were saying that they really like the the understated performance of Joe Pesci yeah it was nice he didn't really cost a lot he didn't beat anyone with a baseball bat but as far as an acting performance I don't think was all that special I don't think Robert de Niro's performance as the Irishman was special it wasn't anything that I said wow that was vintage Robert Dinero it wasn't like there was any particular moment or monologue or passage the people will come away and say we're gonna be quoting that for years we can quote the godfather we can quote good fellas in an area casino what have you there wasn't really anything all that special quotable about the Irishman as far as the ensemble cast it was great to have all these big names together yeah but they had big names together in the Expendables did make it a great movie big names who were to gather it almost seemed like he was with one last ride together for these particular group of actors for this particular genre and I had heard all the hype in I'm a guy who loves the godfather yeah I'm a guy who loves casino and Goodfellas varying degrees but I loved the genre as a whole love the sopranos so that's something I I I know this genre I appreciate the genre when I saw the Irishman it was really weird it was weird what they did to Robert De Niro and his allies making them blue or whatever so he looked like the actual person it was not necessary they could have chosen a different actor if you're gonna do all that was extracting I did like the fact that it's so it's a movie based on real people real incidents in history and it almost quite like the have the story line and as real events happened it breaks away in the show you this person was actually killed by a bullet to the head nineteen seventy one or whatever and I'll show you a still frame of the actual crime scene or something like that that's something I enjoy it but as far as the acting performances there were not we talk about Star Wars hi Scott Walker same thing in the sense of there were no wow moments for me there was nothing which said to me is like wow I've never seen that before no they were getting killed by basically getting whacked like okay we seen people get whacked like this before because they've already told all those stories just changing the name to fictional people another movie so what we see the Irishman which is based on true events and everything not special I didn't think the performances were special that's not a number that are best acting ensemble right okay I would rather Avengers with that because as far as I'm concerned the acting by Robert Downey junior in Avengers in game was stellar okay well I mean look got it and maybe that's why Avengers in game got best action movie finally can best visual effects of got best animated feature is difficult yes yeah best costume design yes Ruthie Carter for dolomite is my name give it to him let's stop right there if you haven't seen dolomite is my name please see it isn't available on Netflix I think you will view Eddie Murphy in a whole different light a whole new light any have best comedy yeah I agree Eddie Murphy has not only reinvented himself but in this particular performance he's just an actor he's not telling jokes like a comedian he is embodying Rudy ray Moore someone completely different and it's telling you the story of how Rudy ray Moore had to reinvent himself from musician to stage performer two eight kind of comedian telling almost wraps stories on stage right right if you know the history and this is a quintessential LA movie in the sense of Rudy ray Moore is inextricably linked to the history of arts and entertainment in Los Angeles yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you will recognize the landmarks and everything and that is why eighty Murphy deservedly so also got the lifetime achievement award other film awards go to Quentin Tarantino for once upon a time in Hollywood no surprise a Best Director it was a tie Sam Mendes for nineteen seventeen and bomb June hole for parasite can we just go ahead and assume given Hollywood's reaction and also the foreign correspondents reaction to nineteen seventeen that that's probably going to be best picture Best Actor definitely nominated tomorrow for the Oscar nominations yeah we'll probably will win and I say that for this reason for the foreign correspondents association for the golden globes to give nineteen seventeen best drama award what are the ward was and it had not even been released in theaters yet at that point bright I just said to me that it leaves the Hollywood portion critics correspondence whatever they pretty much made up their mind which says to me Hollywood as far as the voting academy members have pretty much made up their mind and they've probably already decided that this is going to be the movie I've heard nothing but superlatives about it I haven't seen it but I'm just reading the tea leaves it is going to get the nomination but I'm saying if I were to place any money nineteen seventy this Best Picture and Best Director just because of all these other indications I'm getting I agree totally agree best sci-fi or horror which is in an Oscar related category not to to my knowledge but us it's good thank I I I I saw the movie everything was great yeah so I'll be in Emma Jordan Peele fan but I did think the movie is great I do appreciate how he tells very different stories that's the story we haven't seen before I can I can watch it and say like wow that's something different is not the typical horror stories come to typical sci fi story has a little twist at the end is what he usually is going to do now is going to be known for that in the way that M. night Shyamalan is known for that I can appreciate what he does I just didn't think the movie was spectacular yeah but I don't know who would love you to hear it I don't know what was up again so when we come back we'll continue with these critics choice awards and also forecast possibly with coming tomorrow morning with the Oscar nominations this the
Deep Healing With Onsite Workshops
"Off of about five days away in Cumberland Farms Hennessy. You said it. I didn't know that's where we were going didn't know about it was it was a a really powerful week and we're excited to share our experience variance so we were with on site workshops outside of. Nashville and our dear friends ruthie Lindsey and Mona's no were able to invite us to this has created retreat. didn't have expectations didn't really make sense for a schedule think about it. You know a week off and do awesome work right before going on tour for the rest of the year but you know say yes so he said yes. I said yes and it was one of the most profound weeks of my life truly we were with some of the most like impactful people that I've come across and have admired for a long time and what was so so cool about that week was that we we didn't talk about what we did and it was so refreshing because I'm sure a lot of you out. There can can relate like when you're in a setting wherever it is like the second question is normally what you do and very rarely did that happen at all and it was just so refreshing so we were able connect like as human beings. I mean the work that we were doing was so hard opening and like emotional that we were able to connect on that that level which was so powerful I was crying all time I know same. Obviously I really let it rip. We yeah we there. There's one that one point in the affirmation circle. Sir was something really beautiful that we did. That was a practice. Yes my most favorite part of the Oh was insane so it's the entire group group of of people that are at this retreat and we are sitting in chairs and then it's almost like musical chairs where the people are going around and they're whispering in your ear a beautiful formation and was insane. Everyone was laughing me because I was like insane as if no one has ever said anything nice to me honest and it sucks because so when we first started I was the first group and we went around. I thought it was just basic affirmations like if you Google affirmation you hear you're like I'm worthy I am peace and so I was saying basic affirmations and I was like I'm GonNa give everyone the same one and then I realized because the person behind me I'm like Oh. They're making them custom. As all the shit this is fun and so then you can make this beautiful affirmation of like something that we recognized or saw within that person and it was stunning. It was so so beautiful and it's I think we got so much because it's it's true and it's like what we don't say to ourselves selves at all so to hear someone else say that's kind of like when you're on a birthday party and you're like hey. Let's say something great about birthday. It's like that but because is there was music playing in our eyes were closed and the week itself was just so raw like it felt it literally felt like the biggest hug you've ever gotten in your life. It was so so nice I recommend doing that. You're in a women's circle or just an intimate gathering. It's such a beautiful exercise. You have a circle you have. The people half the people sit down in the center. Everyone else stands around them and then you just kind of go one by one around the circle yet. Don't creep anyone out. You know mean fucking pervert. I think one of the week everyone out but it really and what I really realized that I really loved about it. It was true receiving I wasn't looking at them. I wasn't engaging with them with you. You know body energy. You know when someone says something kind to me. I am beside myself energetically and emotionally physically so it's also tiring you know on the other end too because of maybe I'm not believing it and I'm hoping to or I'm hoping that they receive that. I'm thankful but to just receive a really beautiful way and not have to give anything back was like Whoa Yeah
Venezuela's Maduro Shuts Down Border with Brazil to Stop Aid
"Tomorrow is the deadline set by one Guido widely viewed as the interim president of Venezuela for humanitarian aid to be delivered to the impoverished country. Then his way has been facing rampant, hyper inflation and shortages of food and medicine after years of misrule by President Nicolas Maduro who still clings to power. Mr. muddle won the presidency again last year in elections that were widely viewed as fraudulent now Venezuela's opposition and more than fifty countries recognize Mr. Widodo as the president. He's been organizing stockpiles of food and medicine in Colombia, and Brazil and will be traveling to the Colombian border from Caracas to meet the deliveries. He's also called for volunteers to come to the border and help distribute it more. No single thin guarantee. Ah mister Modesto says he'll block any aid deliveries yesterday. He closed the border between Venezuela and Brazil and has threatened to close the border also with Colombia. Nicholas maduro. The president basically deny is that there's a humanitarian crisis going on in Venezuela part of the pace that the opposition is making is we're the guys who can relieve these shortages and begin to feed you properly and begin to provide medicines in the hospitals. So we'll any of Mr. guidos humanitarian aid make it into the country. Brooke Unger is our America's editor what is Mr. Guido planning this weekend. He said February twenty third is the day when all the say that's piling up in Columbia and other countries around. Venezuela will begin to move into Venezuela. To relieve the humanitarian crisis there and the big question is going to be can you make that happen? And what will the government do to stop it? Where's this aid coming from a lot of it's coming from the US? They're awesome European countries that are contributing aid to this effort. So it's coming from quite a number of places. But yeah, mainly from outside the region, and why this deadline what's special about the twenty third Guido and a rally. Week or so ago said, you know, kind of name the twenty third is being the day when this would begin to happen. So it's kind of self imposed deadline, but they needed to start at some point. And you know, obviously in addition to being a day when hopes that aid begins to flow into Venezuela. You know, there's there's a lot of politics and symbolism surrounding this day. So he not only wants food medicine to get the people, but he wants the world to sort of rally around the idea that, you know, his interim government is going to is going to provide support for for Hungary Venezuelans so about that crucial. Question of Ken, Mr. Guido, get this eight through do you think he can what is what's the plan? What he does have what he's trying to have is he's signed up hundreds of thousands of volunteers who were supposedly going to try and begin to bring this aid from the border with Colombia into something like twelve cities inside Venezuela. And how that actually is going to play out will be very interesting to see, you know, we don't know exactly what his tactics are going to be you know, one thing to to point out is that the the border between. Colombia and Venezuela was pretty porous you know, you could have all in tears crossing the border on guarded points. And attempting to bring aid in that way. There's also speculation that you know, they might be airdrops of aid from from US planes a could come in that way or by or by boat. So, you know, we don't know exactly what Ruthie eight is going to take. And what we really don't know is what the reaction of Venezuela's armed forces are going is going to be what might they do it. Why can they be seem to stop aid coming in the government portrays this essentially as sort of invasion of Venezuela? I mean, they they regard the delivery of American aid as being kind of a cover for an attempt to in American attempt to topple the government in American invasion of swords. And you know, they would see stopping the aid as being away of defending their sovereignty. President Trump has come out clearly in support of Guido. Except president widens generous offer of amnesty deliver your life in peace with your families, and your countrymen what's America's interest in this whole question. Don't Trump has taken a very firm and consistent line against the Madero regime, which is not entirely consistent with his line on other repressive dictators in the rest of the world their various explanations for that. I mean, one reason may be that they're quite a lot of Americans Venezuelan and Cuban origin in Florida, which is an important swing state. And so, you know, it it it Trump wants to appear to be on the side of those people who are who are certainly against the Venezuelan regime. You know, it's also true that, you know, some prominent Republicans in particular Marco Rubio, who's from Florida has kind of made it his his 'cause right? What about the effect that might have been in in the country? It could it be that the Venezuelan people like meddling American administration even less than they like the situation. They've got. There's a big risk here at the moment, the US and the opposition in Venezuela are kind of working hand in glove, and the opposition of gone along with very very tough American sanctions, which the hope is that the sanctions are going to dislodge the regime by denying the cash basically needs to survive, but you know, in doing that it's also going to worsen the the plight of the Venezuelan people. So you have this rather ironic situation where in order to push the regime out the opposition to starting with measures that that will hurt their own people. You know at the moment, there's an alliance there. But it certainly, you know, it's certainly true that if the US follows through with its threat to begin to use military force to push the regime out, then the the the equation could change. I I think it's very important that this process and Venezuela be seen as you know, Venezuelans getting rid of victory will regime rather than as Americans coming in. And imposing a government that suits them will this work for. I do you think that? He he will be able to sort of assume power in in full or will Mr. Madero hang on in the long run. I think that's very very difficult to say it's clear that the pillars of support for this regime are crumbling. They've lost public support. They've lost international support except for a few few isolated countries. Like Russia and Turkey, even China is is kind of wavering. They're running out of cash, but unless you you begin to see real signs of defection within the armed forces. You know, this regime can this regime can go on. And there's no further indication that support for him within this sort of the higher echelons of the military is is crumbling at the moment. There's no such indication. You had the the defense minister saying a couple of days ago that the coalition arranged against the government would have to topple it over his dead body. The the army high command seems to be pretty solidly with Madero. So there's no real indication except for a few isolated cases of defense. Action that the army is going to desert the gene,
Tax returns: How the government shutdown, new law will impact you
"Plan to file their tax returns will still collect all your w all of your tax documents bring him to your tax pro. He says navigating changes to the new tax law is going to be a bigger headache for filers. So north Texans. Still working even though they're not getting a paycheck and care oldies out on sky says a local business owners trying to help out Ashley Kleinert owns two food trucks. She calls ruthies rolling cafe she was parked
Woman Charged in Death of Ruthie Ann Miles' Toddler at Crosswalk Has Died in Apparent Suicide
"Ran a red light and struck two. Moms pushing strollers killing one year old Joshua Lou and four year old Abigail blooming Stein. The little girl's mom who was pregnant Tony winning star Ruthie and miles later lost her unborn child. Burns told investigators that she had MSN had seizures grand jury had indicted her on charges of manslaughter, criminally negligent homicide and assault wins. News time nine eight fifty eight fifty a California doctor has been accused of racism after he criticized a woman for only speaking Spanish, you said galore said she brought her sixty seven year old mother to pulse cardiology in San Bernardino last week and told Dr Paul Ryan that she would translate for her mother. But then she says he gave them a hard time. She caught a little bit of the exchange on her cellphone.
Ruthie Ann Miles 'Sang Like an Angel' in Stage Return After Daughter's Death and Losing Unborn Baby
"And grab my arm lake and then try to flee from him to. Try to come at, me and tried, to grab me again twenty one year old Ling says she first. Spotted the man near the train station a few. Blocks from her home he tried to talk to her there and she walked away from him, WCBS CBS news time six eighteen Traffic and, weather together time happens every ten minutes on the aid Sears Andre pharaoh let me put on my handy dandy headphones right now and give you the report if you're travelling southbound van Wyk south. Of, the bell Parkway as you head into the terminals of JFK there's going. To, be some slow moving traffic in? There so you might have to budget in a little extra time if you're using the bell Parkway and get in with the JFK expressway that. Will do you a lot better you'll get right to the. Terminal without a hitch now if you're using. The Whitestone bridge Queens-bound very heavy with roadwork Eddie decided to do. Some, roadwork Lee in the overnight this morning so yeah so. You're dealing with delays heading into queens that's, going to be at the until eight AM Zoellick offer that as the morning progresses but lots of people wanting to get a jump start, on the beach is because it's going to be a nice day today, as you were talking about Bill Deger's talking about you as well Cheryl giving us all the things you, need to do on a hot day well how about going to the beach that's, a good one because it's nice. And cool down there and you're gonna see a lot of action on. The Whitestone and the frogs neck And the RFK so that construction is not going to help hopefully. They can wrap. That up at a there say they're saying they're going to do now if you're using the cross Bronx or Bruckner you're moving fine the George. Washington Bridge are per level roadwork is still out there it's causing some delays on the northbound Henry Hudson Parkway approaching the ramp of, George and underneath the apartments it's a. Little dicey but not too bad on the Harlem. River, drive the FDR's in good shape traveling through Manhattan and the, Lincoln and Holland tunnel you're actually fine our next traffic update in. Less than. Ten minutes on WCBS all right speaking of. The weather forget the beach you're more likely to find me locked in a walk in, freezer but I know some people really do enjoy hot weather lets get the weather rundown for meteorologist Bill Deger low pressure that brought us the rain is now well Tories high pressure building in. For, the next couple of days we'll warm us up in fact a heated. Visory, in effect from today through Monday? It'll feel like it's near a hundred this afternoon under bright sunshine high ninety of this Sunday or mid muggy mainly clear low seventy five tonight Tomorrow. Ninety three was suddenly they'll feel like it's they're a hundred again. In the afternoon and we're still hot Tuesday, up to ninety with partial sunshine Checking the temperatures right now seventy three in Benson Hurst. Garden city is at seventy four degrees it is seventy four, and sunny in central park WCBS news time six twenty months after she and. Her daughter we hit by driver as they walked in park slope actress Ruthie and, miles has returned to the stage at the Lincoln center theater Miles is in the revival of. The king and I are role, that won. Her a Tony award in two thousand fifteen miles was seven months. Pregnant when a driver hit her her four year. Old daughter Abigail and her friend Laurin Liu and her friends one year old son Joshua miles, and.
"ruthie" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast
"It's going to it's going to be launching the smile graduations because this is you know this is really key material and so what i wanted to dig at keep going how you recover because because this to me goes out what's missing today so you're a living breathing example of filling the deficit so keep going i write this list i wrote down things like when i was a child and before us are having pain i loved flowers and at that point i'm like i don't give a shit about flowers like note like ruthie before pain love flowers ruthie before pain sunsets i would lay at a ten roof right outside it was two tiered and i would lay out on my ten roof lymph ring pillow blanket and i would watch the sunset and i would stare at the start i've always been an off the skype it for seven i never i didn't watch a sunset i didn't care and i wrote down like you love people remember like laughing at myself in my head i'm like no you don't you don't get this shit about people at the time i didn't care about anything i felt numb and dark inside and so but i made myself doing do one thing on that list and a lot of overlap i be like go pick flowers and bring them to someone like i i wanted to my brother was really encouraged me to do suffer other people i had a friend whose husband was dying in the hospital had a friend who was shot and the batman movie shooting and they from baton rouge they ended up air meeting her back after about a month and i've go sit with her in the hospital and.
Tony Award-winning actress injured, daughter killed by car in crosswalk
"To three to her fell the answer is ten o'clock boston radio i'm rich denison the white house is cautious over news north korea is open to any its nuclear weapons program and to talks with the us following a meeting between south korean officials in kim jonghoon him promise to not use nuclear or conventional weapons against south korea he also expressed a willingness to hold talks with the us hug denuclearization fox's john decker republican senator rob portman is urging president trump to look at a targeted approach or his proposed tariffs on imported steel and aluminum downstream cost for the production of automobiles and washing machines herring else increases and hurts consumers of owners are concerned about the possibility of a trade war with other countries nationals maher has resigned after pleading guilty to a felony theft charge meghan varies resignation follows her admission earlier this year to having an affair our with her lease bodyguard fox news we report you decide from the salem news center i'm chas on type a tony award winning actress from hawaii was seriously hurt yesterday and to children with how 'bout you ties were killed when a driver allegedly ran a red light and ploughed into them in a brooklyn cross walk according to hawaii news now dot com struck were broadway actress ruthie and booming stein who goes by the stage name ruthie n miles and her fouryearold daughter abigail blooming stein who is pregnant was in critical condition or daughter was killed two others with holiday ties were also hit lauren lou and are one year old son joshua liu was injured while joshua was killed in the crash the new york daily news reported that the woman behind the wheel had a history of traffic crimes and vitally police are continuing to investigate the death of a boy on how the island is recently received autopsy results and three year olds cause of death was he term into be blunt force trauma to the head offices were called to a combined a home back in july following a child unresponsive partly sunny scattered showers high near eighty two from the salem new center i'm chas on thai avenue nate clear all.
Tony Award-Winning Actress Hurt in Deadly Wreck After Driver Blows Red Light in Brooklyn
"In the blazers get i guess they're not she politicians but anyway when we come back charlie gasperi know will be with us we'll talk to him next we'll talk to him about this about mayor de blasio but tariffs about all the stuff coming up on 710 w o r let's get the latest news here's joe bartlett okay mark president trump says there's possible progress in talks with north korea the north reportedly willing to negotiate about giving up its nuclear program if the us can guarantee its security trump says maybe a false hope of the us is ready to go in either direction suspect is dead to second on the loose after trying to rob an off duty police officer in brooklyn the officer was at a gas station at rents in avenue when he was by two men who pointed a gun at him he shot and killed one of the suspects the other got away a tony award winning actress is in critical condition after being struck by a car that killed two children ruthie and miles was in a cross walk with a four old daughter abigail when they hit were a car that apparently ran a red light abigail was killed as was a oneyearold child so far no charges filed against the driver next up aided known breaking news at once and start your day with lend berman and michael riedal.