4 Episode results for "Rob Kendall"
KUWTK | S19E6
"Hello and welcome to the podcast of all things kardashian. I'm jessica jordan. And i'm marcie jaro I am exhausted by this family. I mean you know. There has been weeks where i have not wanted to devote our precious time and energy to this. I was four upset to do it this week. I was too. And i. I thought about i thought about saying no and putting up a message that said we boycott these people at least this week and they do. They are undeserving of our time. And our brains and our empathy and thoughtfulness and compassion. And like this was. This was the week that i was very embarrassed about this about voting time to people and and their lives. Because they feel like monsters. I will say if their last season weren't on the horizon. I would probably dip out one hundred percent one hundred percent and like they're testing us close to the finish line and look but here was my justification a. I love to see your beautiful face. Yes happy to see you. This is the you window of the week. I get to see my friend. Who i love and i miss. So that's number one by a mile to. I think it's important to talk about what they did this week. And if our listeners wanna hear it. And because i have a lot of thoughts and i know you do too. And i think it's really important to analyze them and i think we've used this platform to cut them a lotta slack to understand him. Understand them to give them a lot of grace. One other people have not also think it's well within our rights to to be mad and embarrassed and enraged by their choices which have continued even through every night. Yes yes boy. So this isn't going to be a we love card ashton's one so just f y you or not in the mood to hear any criticism of this family. This dip out dip out now. This is a good moment to dip ryan. Save yourself so. I mean it also dubs hills in in terms of catching up you and me in our regular lives and where this stuff actually bleeds in. Because as it goes for myself i am tired. I'm really stressed. My anxiety is at an all time high. It just hit me today. My meds are working hard. it it's daylight savings. It was dark when the four o'clock hour. Today i was upset with that. We have a world changing election in two days a day from when you guys will listen to this. And we're in a huge horrifying kovic spike as we stared down a fall or winter. I know oh. God even just thinking of the num- what's going to happen right every thanksgiving it's it's this is a really challenging time. We s this is really really really and while we're experiencing it. There are so many people who are like. what are you talking about. You guys are making a big deal about it and that feels it. It's such a crazy place to sit. Where you're like am i am. I insane Experiencing so many different realities at once and it is the most trying feeling like we have people. We know who have are having lake. You know weddings cancelled and having to stand on a corner to wave at their friends. That's what i. I went to a a wave wedding today. Guys i read just drove by and wave at the bride wearing a mask and a wing dress. The friends whose children triggered treated from room to room in their own and not not a kardashian style mansion. A person's home in a ranch style house. You know this is. This is a period of just like so much like a deep loss and creativity and empathy and optimism in the face of so much so much uncertainty a word. We're all sick of hearing but yeah it's it's just it's very real it's at the it's a it's it's very real for everyone right now and so so all that to say that's where i'm sitting as just like a person you know like my parents have truly talked quite seriously about leaving the country the depending on the outcome of the election which could be a lot of bluster but you know what i mean. Trudeau said he's looking for four hundred thousand new citizens like i can't blame them would go to scotland right. Probably go see my sister in dubai. Good emily if you're listening and they didn't tell you that i'm sorry With either coming your way this is your niece nephew. Earl there And then yeah. Possibly to scotland although the although europe is now seeing this massive spike and lockdown on its own two right now so but they're locking down right exactly and when my parents point is largely that they feel i mean they're in their mid seventies and that it feels like a a true health risk to stay And that there's a lot of you know there's a lot of fear behind that conversation but point is i'm very lucky i am. Btw her father is a scientist who worked in the medical late yeah industry for. He's he phd's and chemistry. His friends are the ones working on like his friend runs. I think pfizer. And it's like he didn't invent one of the machines that they're using they use. My dad is a is. Phd's in chemistry his his expertise in what's called mass spectrometry and mass trumpeters or used largely for for At for drug testing the breakdown of proteins at the smallest level the smallest pieces of Of chemistry and so Companies use them the olympic season for drug testing Their machines used in those fields. And so this is his realm. He's not just like this. Year is on the brink but really smart people. they're really smart people And they're really scared. Really really scared. And i you know. I can't really blame them. It's also a whole piece. That's like really tough. You know where A lot of people have a way worse but my dad chose to become an american citizen and he like really in this really fascinating way like loves america more than any of us like he learned a lot to take a citizenships has this is true of everyone who takes us citizenship test. Like it's always very funny. He actually understands the us government and all of our history much better than all of us because he has you had to learn it and he really really likes loves it and chose it and like is has always been sort of america obsessed in our is like like he loves america like chose it and moved away and lived his whole life away from his family. And i think that's what's always so crazy about people who like want someone delete leave. It's like they love. They love america. He loves it so much more than the than the three of us were like. Okay dude and he's so smart and he learned everything about it and he is constantly schooling us and he is so proud and the day he became. A citizen was like one of biggest days in our family. We threw a huge party and Anyways it's like so it's a point is is that it's it's it's really heartbreaking to watch somebody Who who's journey has been that like b c such disillusion to the point. That you know may may leave So so there's a lot bigger lot bigger heartache. But point is it's like it's not on all of our doors. Yes really intense ways. We'll get through together but as it relates to this podcast start island the start at the fortieth birthday so that was. What was that monday skies. This week has held so long. I don't even in the midst of all of is kim. We knew him turned forty. We talked about it. We toasted her last week. She triggers and pretenders were happening. Here yeah at all. We were fully. It was a full ruse because a post went up that then obliterated the internet because what kim did and is that she posted. I guess we should. Should we read the post. The forget okay roaming pull it up Because this it hit everybody on a work day. Hit everybody in a way that no one was prepared for anyone saw. This young girl was five days ago by the way so forty and feeling this was. The post is picture. The main picture is kim with Khloe rob kendall courtney on the beach on the sand with palm trees and people behind them forty and feeling so humbled blessed. There is not a single day that i take for granted especially during these times when we are all reminded of the things that truly matter for my birthday this year. I couldn't think of a better way to spend it. Spend it than with some of the people who've helped shape me into the woman. I am today before covid. Any is truly appreciated. What a simple luxury. It was to be able to travel and be together with family and friends in a safe environment after two weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine. I surprise my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time we danced road. Bikes swam near wales. Kayaked watched a movie on the beach and so much more. I realized that for most people. This is something that is so far out of reach right now so in moments like these. I am humbly reminded of how privileged my life is. Hashtag this is forty comment. Kris jenner best trip ever hashtag blessed. How did watch movie on a beach. Get in that little list. I don't know it is watching movie on a b. to that high up on the list right people do that at like hotels like camp people at camp watch movies outside. It's it's outrageous. It's so out of touch with what with what everyone is going through. And the timing of it is so bad with like like we were saying the holidays right around the corner and we the projections of what the covid Numbers are going to be like. I would be like her doing it. Of course she's gonna do whatever she wants but the way that she posted about us was it. So like marie antoinette. Let them eat cake. However most people fell into that camp which was like look. Is kim kardashian. Able and rich enough to fly have all her friends get tested in quarantine and fly to a private island in tahiti like Should she can cheat. Who cares yeah. Whatever it was the post it was the need to let us know the need to show people like that level of privilege and luxury and the it was the showing people that it happened. Was i think what like in raged and offended people so to their core Is it was just like fine. Go do it but why do we have to see it. Why does it have to be thrown in our face and not just that. That was the first post it went on for more pictures. More photos more photos. There are one two three four five six seven eight main to to the main instagram posts. It really feels. As if that. She's like i i hear you. I don't give a fuck. She doesn't give a fuck. She had win after this became like an internet thing she posted and because everybody like it became. It became a whole thing. People would post pictures from like movies. And whatever and copy the copy and just pointing out the lake out of touch -ness of it all and like And she posted another one. That i was like truly waiting for like an embarrassed apology post. I truly thought she might be like i hear you. I don't i was thinking. Yeah but her. Next post was now that i have your attention dot dot this is a reminder to vote six days and it's a another batch of photos unlike its this. This just likes it like embarrassed me. Oh it embarrassed me so much for her for us for us. Says there's because i'm sure you had two people. Were texting me like yeah. I got kim's post. And i was like i know this is not a i. Don't it's like the worst parts of this is like how much news people want to send to be. And i don't want it like i do it. We do our little bit of homework so we'll usually find it but sometimes i'm just like they're so bad it's just so bad it's so like it just doesn't one so many people who still cannot get tests easily there you know i also not all the tests are accurate and maybe an incubation period. How do you know those people really isolated. There's just so many factors and also we know you're constantly having nannies and people like that and your home who probably live with other people who are in homes like yours because they don't get to live the life in the ivory tower that you have and so the risk there. It's like this. I don't know it's just like there's and we've seen movies. We know how this goes. We'll in like people pointed out. You know that so. It's a private island in tahiti and it's called brando i think is the resort. It's called marlin. People figured it out pretty easily she says she chartered a full jet. Like with the lay down beds and stuff down beds for like eighty people or whatever it was An was a. it's called. The brando resort in tahiti that marlon brando's private island that he owns so they're owned own and i guess he because he's dead. Yeah see i was like maybe his his family sons and i'm not sure but And everybody always go this alone. I think was estimated at like one million but yeah it's thirty five luxury villas and so she chartered an eight seat crystal cruises jet To fly there on her birthday and yeah the luxury villas our gopher about twenty thousand and night and have private pools. And i mean god i am it. Sounds like heaven on earth Nobody's nobody disagrees with that. But a big part. Sorry i was going to say is that a lot of people pointed out like about the staff you know like there's you know people were pointing them out in the backgrounds of all photos that they all kept posting. Because it wasn't just. Kim it was courtney it was kendall. It was all family posted in posted. Implicit i i told you and chris. This is hugh. Chris got trish. Who's our chris. gardiner. Enter kris jenner I muted all sisters this week. I just like after this post went up. I was like. I mean it went back and i would like peek at them but i like i just was like i cannot just like have these thrown at can't look at more bikini photos as this week went on what people were pointing out in the background of these images like all the staff wearing their masks and gloves and like it's just such a rough look. It is that thing of like we're fabulous. Keep your germs off of us sort of thing. I just it's also like why couldn't you give them health screenings if you're getting them like maybe it'll help the island out like the people who work there. I don't know it just made me so grossed out but these people are just wasting money. They're just throwing it away because they don't know what it feels like to want for something the idea that they can't have something right now. They are not. they're not used to it. They will not do it. Just won't do it and they have to let us see it as saying that like it's the seeing it it's the forcing us to consume it and it and and and acknowledge it and believing that we want that and it's like this. It's so funny because like you know we we. Obviously i love their crass consumerism to appoint. It's a part of why. I defend them and i like. Hey that's their deal. That's who they are. And why. I love housewives and like i'm on board for like voyeuristic watching of like richer people than me but there was something about this in this moment when every one of us is like sick to our stomachs with like what is happening. What is the future. What is what is the next year of our lives going to look like this like just drop these into like everyone's faced fall so cruel at continued all fucking week and then the weird juxtaposition of the episode that they had this week. Where it's like. Give me a break. So we'll get to that. So then so chloe appears on ellen lick a few days later and this was her response when ellen brought it up which made me laugh. Very hard this phrasing. I haven't heard a lot about it. This is about the photos and people and the memes in critics of the trip. I haven't heard a lot about it. But i did hear that people were upset that we all went out of town out of town. Funny way to phrase tahiti. I don't really know the extent of it but this year is a frustrating year. I get it. i think. There's so many frustrations going on for everybody but also it's her fortieth and this is something that you really wanted to do for us. It was such a nice thing we felt so safe and we did it in the safest way i could imagine when doing it was such a beautiful experience and i want him to focus on how beautiful was and what she did for everybody. Just do it in. Don't tell us about it like do what you want because you clearly don't care but don't like the messaging is bad it's bad messaging. Wealth is just so toxic. You just really see it. Break these people's brains and then there was speculation about like kylie. Didn't go kylie definitely did not go. She definitely did not go and did go. Because courtney posted a picture of johnny riding a bike. It looked as if she was teaching him how to ride a bike or something very funny. It's like just kind eight from the back but e so like everyone is there be. I know kelly some guys doing. Oh i know. I wasn't there because sorry i wasn't look at your articles. I should've pulled up kylie. Wasn't there because she's been participating she said. You want me to quarantine isolate myself for ten days. I'm not doing that kim. Don't care. I don't care you think you don't care wait till you see me. Go girl kylie. Don't care she said. I will be in vegas at cardi b.'s. Party at anyone else's party. I want to go story me. Mommy's gonna be back. Leader vice does not care. There was like a funny blind item on that great account. You know the show more do more. That is now minute session. And it was about how kim and kylie or fighting. Because oh okay because kim is like judgmental of the way kylie spends her money and i was like so she wasn't invited to the private island takeover. Yes because she's bad of how kylie spends her money. These people all need to be truly. Kim is bitter and jealous. Abbott cannot stand any criticism. But i i was like i love how because the trip became so passe. I was like how funny that kylian up like walking away looking like better than an ongoing When it's just like no she just gave fewer fucks than any doesn't like. She doesn't care about her sister. Oh on that team account. Though there is a khloe kardashian thing was there are asking about assistance. Oh yes i saw this and it was khloe treated her assistant extremely well. Nameplate necklace using laurel shoes all sorts of seven etc until the assistant boyfriends stole from our which i think we saw a few seasons ago was in an episode. Yeah so apparently. She was so good to this assistant and assistance from like. Hey girl. I'm about to ruin your life. I thought of a way. I could be a terrible person in a hurt. You also waller talay about things that i found everyone. I hear you loud and clear bruce. Lii did not die onset. Your confidence is always use strongest card. Marcy and if anyone's listening by has for a long time just always notice. How quickly i i never. I believe marcy to my core and i always will. I was like absolutely this is true. I should come clean and say. I'm often miss remembering thanks to bruce. Lee died of a brain. Dima was possibly caused by reaction to prescription painkillers sad anyway but definitely not in the same fashion that his son later died. The only thing that matters is the come clean and we always do it when we get called out. We have no problem. We've had years at this point. We set a rapper's name wrong. We made up some some. We make up a lot. That's part of our freedom. We got the mics. We got the mics sirs power in this world. Is we get to decide. Marcy made up a beautifully tragic story. Other honestly bay should think about rebooting that father son death backed up rebooted. No good on you. Speaking of oh god what transition segue so then. Everyone is barely cut their breath from the horrific barrage of tahiti grams. and then. What does kim have next for us. On this week of assault week of social media assaults on her followers she posts a series of videos of a gift from her husband. Canoeist who has rebooted to use the term robert kardashian senior in hologram form so what we see is a live showing of film footage filmed of viewing of a hologram of robert kardashian. Seniors speaking in current times to his daughter. Kim kardashian west on her fortieth birthday and i don't know what else to say other than everyone who had any shred of their mind left. Lost their collective minds over this. This was what. I got more text about than than tahiti. I mean after. I thought it was so strange that her fake fortieth birthday party had so many videos of him and like the she got up the car and heard his voice. I was like oh. I get that. It's very nice but it's unnerving then to like up the any and reanimate dead person. Put him in three dimensions with a hologram and then like using very like modern technology to take his voice and use his voice and then make a script at konya road scream witch. Connie says that whenever you here which means fart when there's a big fart that's me nor is a little fart. That's also me what that's that's like desecration of the corpse in my mind. I read robert as you see your would take. The who is a lawyer would take this man to court. This is sue him into this headline this headline pto. Or we're at listen. This is the headline vanity. Fair ran kim kardashian hologram of her late father calls konya the most most most most most genius man in the whole world and then this is the sub head. The digital rob kardashian senior also danced to quote who put the bump and praised his eldest daughter's decision to become a lawyer. I mean it's wild. Blew my mind cause you know konya wrote the script and was like an. I'm a gene like it's such a narcissistic truly like like in a family full of narcissists. Like who's brains should be collected and studied for years to come konya can dunk on them. All it's fine kardashians. I mean i mean and here's the thing. I saw people in the like the facebook group. The credentialing facebook repeat talking about like people who'd lost parents and like what this would mean and like i truly understand that like i don't understand i. I haven't less apparent. I'm i saw people talking about like i would have loved something like this. And and that's meaningful in an important but i think that the script whelming like feeling of it all in this week of all weeks i don't i. It is obviously very thoughtful. We know how much robert senior in the loss of their. Yeah like we understand. It is incredibly thoughtful gift. It is very con- yeah it's just this idea of like that. There was a scriptwriter that there was a body double that it was like that the work behind it is so according to tmz konya worked with a production company called kaleida with a k. To create the hologram and quote spent a lot of time in the studio poring over old video and audio robert to bring the vision to life in a. I was used to finish off the project which started in early. September and kim was clearly touched. It was more just like the overwhelming ness of this family. I was just got nothing. I'm just out of i'm out. I'm out tapped out of this family for this week. Marcy there about me. It wasn't over didn't matter the veil is spin guys so it was halloween all the same week. This is all the same week we processing this. It was halloween halloween. And it's also kendall's birthday. Yes classically kindles birthday. Oh this every year handles birthday falls on. Hold on wait for it. Actually november third. Oh so this is very i guess. She doesn't have an election night party but she always does a halloween party for her birthday. I guess she just that's more fun for her since she does tend to always have a halloween party for her birthday now. Let's talk about the pros. I though jess yeah. She dressed as barb wire. costume pamela anderson. This family loves do pimlott yes She looks amazing. Incredible as panhandle should plucked her eyebrows. Go blonde because it worked for her. It really really worked. She showed us the costume early. And it was amazing and she turned into a little like a go vote. You know In the photos and she in kylie also did acute matching costume. That was very fun. That was a throwback to which i was like they redid these costumes from when their kids and i and it was very cute but then i was like also. What are these causes. I don't know what they are. I don't know like kids sparkle. Yeah your attrition. i was like cute. And then i was like what is it. What are they did this. So then i woke up this morning and what happened on saturday night here in los angeles. Well actually. This was teased on the same gossip. Site ma that she was going to have this party. I saw somebody Blind item was like. Kendall's going to have a holiday or a halloween party not socially also so. The bay said that the kim was going to go to the island. Yes you're right you guys. This is you know we're not being by but it's a great gossip site d. e. u. x. Like oh do the number two and french and me momoa me get any doom wa wa. It's great there's a lot of kardashian gossip go check it out. I've been enjoying it but yeah so it was tipped so kendall through party. Kennel threw a party a party burns. Kendall jenner threw herself a twenty fifth birthday party at a a rooftop bar Even though the city of la has had said had mandated that residents gather no more than like two with two households. Whatever we don't know the mandate but the six feet is is still to be in effect but because this was on a rooftop. I guess that was why this was deemed. Okay but it's not look like an outdoor party to me. You know they were inside. They were absolutely inside. Nobody had masks. Basically we had stars like sweetie doja cat the weekend winnie harlow. Justin bieber Jason smith jaded smith wearing an oxygen mask. At that seems distasteful little distasteful. Some might say and then kendall blowing her blowing all over that cake. I mean while a staff member holzer cake. She is fully an a mask and leaning no the staff members in a mask. She doesn't i just wanted to clarify because gone. No masters holding her giant cake while everybody stands filming. No masks and kendall leans forward to blow out her candles a thing. We just need to let go of guys. I didn't blow out candles on my birthday. You should just hold a candle in your hand and blow it out. And i would offer. My parents lit a candle and then i turned and blew it out facing away from them and turn back and kept it not doing it and so she just had a big fucking halloween party. Kylie was there. Everyone's inside everyone dressed up. They showed people showed. There was a on the invite. It said no social media. Take all the photos you want. But please don't post on social media of any kind. Obviously that's not what happened. I would highly. How highly was immediately posting. Kylie's kylie posted all night long. 'cause kylie doesn't care or like them he does not care now. This was interesting because it was after like other celebrities. Like ariana grande day. I forget who else lake other celebrities posted stuff about like. Don't go out. Don't go to parties dress up at home. Like trying to send like responsible. Messages. You know. I don't know this one. It's like somehow this like tip me the fuck over. I was just like we have friends. It's not about us. It's just like we have friends whose kids are trick or treating in their living rooms. It's like what it would have meant to dress up. And of course everybody would love to have halloween. And it's just like to know that five feet down the street these. I don't like us up. I don't like the smell of plastic. So either mercy. But i see humans and see it in the middle of of this moment again to see it and i was just like that. I continue to be outraged that i continue to be surprised. It's like a clearly. The through line is me and not understanding like the socioeconomic breakdown of the war. Like i mean what we live in. But i was just like. I'm fucking sick of these people. I'm sick of them. That's what it is. It's just such utter classism and its like does just gross to see such blatant disregard for like not only rules but how could affect any other person because yeah we already seen what happens if they get sick. A doctors come to their fucking houses and they can text and they can text doctors on their phones doctors on their phones. We don't do that. Somebody brings them food while they are quarantined in one of the many rooms of their mansion. The waiter at the party does not get that kind of treatment and maybe doesn't even earn a livable wage now and like so that justin bieber and kylie could kylie could wear her like her her uniquely made just for her terry mugler fucking snake costume out like a whole staff had to like staff a party and i'm just like fucking over it over the show. We do have to talk about kim's costume. Though i like by. I've had all week. I checked before bed and i was like i saw those like first of all those decorations goodbye. I hate that spider house with all my call. My guts i was like. Hey if you're going to a great this actually makes your house like warm for the first time that's true. It was like such a such a big improvement their outfits. I was like i. i'm their kids. I'm legit tariff too scary weights. Well i she did the carole baskin. Oh yes okay. I thought you were talking about the new ones from last which also seems a little distasteful. Because they're they've reopened the case because they do believe carole baskin definitely killed her husband like it's been reopened by investigators because of this. So it's like you. I guess she does like to get people out of jail. Listen a bat signal that represent her eventually but this like the thing that she wore to. Kendall's party it's like this. It's like a red gimpo outfit. Zippers over the mouth and is it is truly terrifying hate it. It's like custom. Whatever beaumont or something. I don't know it designer. Like she tagged and i was just like i hate. I hate this halloween. I hate you guys. I hate your costumes. I eat you this week. I hate you hate you. I really hate this family this week. I know hala wean. I know they love dressing up and most years. I really look forward to it. Like i know. They have all the money in the world and they can make like beautiful dream costumes. Come together and it's like very fun. And escapist i just didn't i didn't with for it this year. People are suffering so much this year all over the world. people are suffering but it's to like new levels and to just be so clearly not a part of our society in a way. It's like yeah this is you're right. You're absolutely right. Like i tweet it. We have to vote them out about kardashian's like we have to vote. The car dash them out. You guys like you want to save them money on taxes who flock we literally cannot. They are like at a loss for how how their money. I looked at kim's decorations. The spider house. And i was like i feel like this was her and mindy weiss being like. I don't just something. Just here's a blank check. I don't know i don't know. Just fill my house with some shit. It's halloween and it was like. I didn't mind the decorations that much honestly best thing. She's done that's the least offensive but it was an again. It made the house look better. It warmed it up completely absolutely worn this hallway. Perfect for a haunted house. Yeah a big white nasty museum. House that yeah. It's a blank canvas for horror. I just was like these people who are terrorizing us. I felt terrorized this week. Like i truly was like leave me alone. Leave me alone go like a go join whatever like you and your private society of wealthy to exit regular society like you're not part of this get out of your not welcome. Yeah just it. It just felt very heartless all of alice's the word fully heartless and like to people. I'd like i think specifically hits you an i in these moments like not like boohoo. But it's like obviously we we desperately wanna give them the benefit of the doubt. We always i always stand behind like the reason for the podcast and the fact that these are like business women. It's a matriarchal family. They have lake. They are out gamed the game in terms of their own success and longevity and like i have nothing but respect on so many levels and it's why we say here every week but like am i absolutely channeling all meetings -iety into how much i am. How distasteful. I find them a one hundred percent maybe just like totally flipped. I mike listening to taylor. Swift and being like she's like you know what do they call him. A swift boater. What are we call. Her fans is just like i felt at this week. Like people with text and be like. Oh shit well what do you think. And i'm like they're bad. What do you think. I'm gonna i'm gonna go to bat. I'm gonna fucking push back. No they're bad. They're bad or bad this week. let's. I will always hope they can redeem themselves. But if we're going off the ended before me in this week they need to redeem themselves. I think they need to slink away and go to whatever price they can just be rich be rich and i don't wanna see it anymore. That's just where i'm at where i'm not interested in it. I ask frankly. City corny is now the most interesting one to look at And it's not because she's a good person but her body looks the most normal. And so i think courtney has the best buck because they posted pictures of like everyone like running in bikinis courtney's. Yeah she looks like at least somewhat. She still has a body that is outside the reach of most normal human beings but it looks like an actual body that could exist in the human world without like major surgery tired of the anyways. I don't need to dig into them physically. I'm tired of their actual even just shapes. You know like the way these like these round wild hips. Like i'm just sort of like. I'm just i need a break. You need a break but should we so so then. We have two in the same way that they are. Terrorizing us a social media. We have to watch them for them in this episode. We're trying they ask us to feel sorry for them and do we. I simply do. Not into this ludicrous episode. Yes yes so. I watching this. This week was truly like just views. It was just a mixed messaging. So we started off at scott tells. The of scott and kim schools are shut. Down gavin newsom It's not yet declared a state of emergency. That comes later. But kim is like what am i going to do with the kids for a whole month that i'm like there's no way i thought maybe at first maybe but with the information we find out there is no way possible. She is taking care of her own. Children give me a bray game break. Don't buy it don't end it. And then she's like what if people go out of the country for spring break as kim. What if people are selfish enough to go out of the country possibly getting other people sick and then possibly bringing illness back here. What if kim what what do you think about that is that what could that be like. Just like how did they air this this week. I production trying to take them. I truly was like it's what it felt like was it was like they were such agree gis monsters this week and then to watch them like basically the truth of it which was like maybe they gave a shit at the beginning of quarantine but we are one hundred percent watching the trajectory of them at least pretending to care back in shape role and then being like by cut cut to october and these people are like well. We're tired. i just realized this is just like a a little like snapshot of what america. Like half of america's like -solutely genuine concern disneyworld like it's not a private island but my bank. It's wildly more dangerous. yes. I know people. I saw people on instagram. Like friends of friends. That went this two weeks ago. And i was like what the with their kids on a on the best day possible. Disneyworld is gonna get you sick. I used to work there guys and made me a fanatical hand washer. Oh because Because there were so many people coming from different countries. And i'm being exposed to things that i was getting so sick in the first month. Like just always getting something and i became a real fanatical like and to this day. Like if i walk outside and don't touch a thing. I still need to wash my hands because it touched the air. It really did broke my brain in a way that i was like. Yeah there's just people from all over the world so like it's germs. Bacteria have ever encountered before and so make sense anyway. Disneyworld has not part of this episode. I'm so sorry. I will go back as soon as i miss. We all wanna go. I wanna go. I wanna go to disneyland Yes so we find out chloe's really sick. She's in bed. We also find out the scott always since cookies to khloe when she said. Why won't they just be together. Really a love story. I mean what can constantly in the background did. You see the fake headlines. This week there was like a million gray scott. Disick arrived to the party. And it's like there's not one picture of them near each other you use dark backgrounds and co like made a composite of the two. I love this attempt to make us think scott's like ever dating anybody. I don't care but i was like. She's very that name. Sound young to me. Let arenas baby. Oh is that who that is not gray. No no i. I don't like that at all. It was it's not true. But that's like their headlines. If you don't click this. We need to stop the headline game in america. It's really broken us as a society. Yes we're broken anyway. Keep going black and white cookies. I also don't want wanna give this episode of our its due diligence. Because i'm so resentful but we'll live through it but then khloe gets in bed doctor. Visit dr boris doctor. First name those people. You can't trust yes that is. These are actor doctors also. He wasn't wearing any form of glove. He's just like i. i know. At that moment. we didn't know how bad it could be. But the timing of it. I knew when i was going places like it's weird like shake hands and like that was when we were elbow bumping people but you would think a doctor and he was like. Oh my wife's a teacher a doctor. it's fine it's like you fool. You are who you and then of course i love nothing more. I mean it. It does shift over the episode. But chloe is meant to be deathly ill has full glam. I know she's splitting some horror makeup artists at risk. May maybe she's doing it herself. I don't know but whatever it is it doesn't help me feel sorry for her face of glam also brisk rockers. Like if you wanna be really safe. I guess you could isolate away from your family. I was like this is such. I mean it's it's so you're like listen to the doctors also. None of them knew what they were talking about back. Then so it's like really hard. I know there's so much like it's almost reckless in this way of spreading misinformation. Amy like this. I said it last week episode should all have like pop up this. You're right you're right. You said that it's like it. Just is so rough like i because it's just a different time but he gives her the nasal cova tests. He doesn't think it's corona virus haha jokes doc Boiler your bed. Dr near bad at your job i guess dr boris worse. I mean noticed in the rest of the episode. They weren't calling dr be. They were calling dr a best eighteen. He's be team. You know you get them when dr as too busy at the icu. With all the dying coverted patients. I like i like this group. Were just this map. Can't help it so them. Right kim's pale hal's talking about medicine. Balti and chlorophyll t. I was like what did you notice that when they set the tea down in front of kendall it was someone else's hand and then they never showed that person. I know because it was famously. The kardashians have pale hands compared to the rest of their body and this hand certainly of an african american woman. Okay not in the scene not in the scene. Get i good i was like i guess it's fine but why show that like why. Show the by show the cup. I'm so curious. Why the editors do what they do. I feel like they're trying to send us. Message are some a lot of times they are. Yeah it's like there. Sos signals help us help us. You know bad. Things are happening blink on in miracle mile like because it's such a weird shot to be like. Here's this t being put down by clearly. Someone who's not going to be shown like you didn't have to show that at all now and you can often. It's not hard to cut something like that out or put what they term they would use you know punching which so you go zoom in if you wanna cut stuff out of the edges But no they didn't so but we learn not only is khloe sick but yes also say. He has quarantined himself. He hasn't eaten in a day. he's he's gone full howard hughes locked oftener room. He's not eating. Thank god though right. It just seems like he is fully locked down in this room. It sounds like those. Like i touch store knobs in this how i'm clorox personally. It's me it's nobody else. it's no help me. And he came from my coming. It's just the flu and i was like. Why would you think while there's a pandemic that has flu like symptoms that it's only the only thing pa in that moment. in time. she was also she. Sounds like the biggest damascus. She's like oh no it was just wyoming and then she's like and that's it well then paris with me. It's very funny. Because oh kindle was like oh wyoming. It's five inches and then paris before and kendall starts washing our hands. Yes because it's just like see you guys have literally jets headed by the way the only person i know personally who got covid my friend in new york got it in paris Because it was europe was like teaming. Yeah yeah no. I look i. Kim is like corona so rare. I don't think that's it as eight of fast-spreading pandemic that's what that's why you left. What it's so. Yeah you're right. It is rarer and it's getting less rare by the minute it's so crazy. How much kim in all her confessionals keeps repeating that. She's like watching the news. She is like glued to the news and like all their actions. Tell me like i know. We didn't know a lot and we still know a lot and they're still. It's very difficult to pin down. It's been very difficult. But it is very rough. And they give us by airing these episodes and showing us at the absolute peak of dumb ass nece in terms of how they're handling it. It's like i don't feel that bad. Judging them they don't have to put up these episodes. You know now the real like a fun part of the scene is when. Chris says the tea is. She's like oh they're like you don't like it. She's like no. It's just the five i was like. This is what happens. You teach older people lingo. They don't know how to fit. It's a i. I was like chris. Shut the hell up. It's not a by. It's a cup of nasty t. I'm sorry i'm coming for all also crispy like kim you have to feed yay you behind rambled eggs or bone broth like oh here. And then they kind of like float the idea of lockdown. They probably got a text message from sharon stone. Like everyone else. It was like this weird thing where like celebrities were like trickling down to like be celebrities and they were passing it around. And i was like awesome. Yeah i my god. Sharon stone told you. Don't tell anyone else clearly. Also celebrities to Sorry can i kicked cat's tail but they're it's going to be a locked up in kennels like but what time to get food like they'll give you like a day to get food like i was like how did very funny watching these of touch humans. Try to understand what's happening in the world. They live in so then we have march thirteenth happened. In the city starts shutting down the the filming crew suspends filming inside their home so they have set up their walking them through how to set up cameras in their own house so we have key inside kim's house and she's setting up so many ring lights can only do so much. It's a can't throw light that far. Also it's already an all white house like there's yeah it's just. I love watching him. Try to do this. Yeah and the directors like getting frustrated. She's like i drew a diagram. No i actually thought this was really great. Editing and it showed us a lot of information like we were learning about. You know film production Well it is so funny to the idea of like this family has been doing this for so long but to see what they understand and have absorbed. And haven't you know like it's just. That's the moment like kim even knew to be like well. How are you going to get the facetime on camera. She's set that up behind your back and she's out of you won't the other camera and the directors like no. I know exactly but actually they weren't able to do it. So kim right was actually right. She's the better dp then this producer because they couldn't not and also we see the cameras guys. It's fine no one cares but so we close really sick. She's having migraines she's throwing up. They she gets tested but they don't know when the test back. And she's like it's just so unorganized. Sounds like you bitch are you. Guess what it's like for everyone else if it feels on organized on your end in your realm guess what that was like for everybody trying to figure it out like in your bedrooms in dodger stadium. No one got that kind of treatment. I mean that's the whole thing is it's just like it's seen ever seen of like i see. That sucks like close really sick. She can't see your kid. That's really scary. But again like they earn. We're never acknowledging like they're in the biggest houses imaginable. You don't it makes me think of like the like shutdown like seeing colton. The bachelor was at the beach with his girlfriend. And she got stung by a stingray. As like why are you out of fucking beach right now. She has to go to the hospital during a pandemic. Because she got stung by a stingray like such a dumb injury to have such a dumb thing to have exposure yourself. Especially when like. We're like our icu. Fill up or the research scared and then we find out. True is being taken care of by. Tripton is a god among men. No one has ever been. No cheater has ever been better than in the world than he is his own house. Still which. I read this week because there was a real estate update which i don't give a shit about but you know chris and chloe are sold their houses and they just bought two new houses in hidden hills but cr- tristan's been trying to unload his Sense like early summer and can't sell it so but at this point tristan still has his house. What do you think that is the constant need to be moving. I wish i knew. I mean like i assume. It is just Obsessive consumerism and you were better like i forget that. For most rich people their houses are like also big pieces of technology. You know and the best newest technology and that probably that's a big part of it is that they like you know safety security updates like i don't know i don't know why can't they just sit in a nice mansion like everybody else used you back in the day and just have your amazing mansion for your life like they play this lake. Shell game with their houses. And it's like and remember. We covered that. Chris sale because that was a really shady one where she sold it to the heiress. From cody cosmetics. Who has bought out kylie cosmetics and is probably going to buy you. Wbz anyways you know who it is like very like we're talking about this in like larger themes and the trading of houses in like how they're so involved with the fast fashion of their world like they're doing fast real estate. Yeah i mean. We can't really fathom what like that kind of market is what marketplace's because it's so far outside the realm of everybody's existence but lake absolutely. I remember learning about ellen that that's how ellen had actually amassed the majority of her wealth is that she was ahead of like celebrity home flipping by mail and starting in like the more like early august. She started like buying And pert and like oh and flipping. That's why they sell their houses so often. Then you're right yet that that was like they live for two years. They don't have to pay the same taxes and they use it makes easily because people want to buy ellen's house so it's not just that they can make fat like hundreds not hundreds. I'm sorry i'm so stupid. And thinking in terms of people they can make millions of dollars in and it seems. But i think to your point like to me that seems like so much work to update your family and be moving constantly and like but i think that the financial gain is so high like if you look at how many homes ellen has bought and sold in like twenty years. It's insanity because that's like what her real businesses like. Her talk show is completely secondary to real estate. It's crazy You know it's obviously not but she makes a lot of money so i assume that that's just for them. Yeah they're banking on all these stupid businesses at the end of the day like they can pocket. Probably you know fifty million. Don't understand these hoarders. They're like hoarding money. Like it's gonna go away like honestly she has to have a private jet fly. All of her friends to a private island or else by that money is like shh like she has to spend a certain amount of money a year. it's maybe there is some tax reason. Maybe baby i just like. It's insane so but yes so so. Tristan is at his house. He's got true but then seems to be coming over in like playing with true outside and all these were very like light scenes right like just like getting information like we have chris and corey calling. Mj but mj's like. I don't know how to use a thermometer on my forehead. You know just use the thermometer on my forehead and then she's like microwaves kills germs. And they're like ha ha. And i was like actually. That was a thing early on that. The doctors did tell us the. Do this in the Really sorry for chris because she misses all her family. She misses her mom. She's worried that. I'm jay z lonely. Then we see that. It's tristan's birthday. Khloe has to call in 'cause she's still quarantining. The whole episode is just like khloe laying in bed. Yeah like we had the classic hanson's keiko yes cake. He's in the fees. You'd i tell you know you're back in the good graces when you get a hanson's cake and then we hear a bunch of nannies talking in the background because tristan's not taking care of true. Nobody is taking care of themselves. Like is the hardest part like we see you know. Close like eating off of a little food tray and it's like who brought that and he brings in knocks the door than i way and mike no he. Maybe he brought it to you. But i don't believe he's in the kitchen kitchen like making it up no and like and like maybe. They've wanted to keep these people employed and it gets. I don't know but it's like it is just like that's the part that drives us so crazy. It's the for our forever hashtag of show the nannies. It's just like these. People are not surviving this and experiencing it on their own this episode corentin day three so we find out. Chinese still quarantined in that room. She's pretending like she's taking care of all the kids by herself and i was like. There's no way this possible because you just left babies y- you left your two youngest children with a man who will not leave his room. And as you think deathly ill you live North chicago in psalm. In that house alone while you took saint to levies no you have help. You have help just say you have help and rude is it to pretend to be rationing food. Give me a. There's so many people who had so much food insecurity. It's in the same with like the hand. Sanitizer is it's just like i'm gonna steal this like it's funny and this was like genuinely scary like it was it was a genuinely scary period for most people didn't know if you look literally be able to wipe your own asshole guys have gotten us to the. You've you hear us being like they're not fun anymore. they're not fun. it's not fun. And maybe they'll comeback but right now so then in the middle of it. Something real happens which is maliki goes into labour. Yes and we have this like if felt really manufacturer to me so that we would like you know understand. Why khloe wasn't there and it was all about like poor khloe. She couldn't go. Oh no i think it was. I thought it was totally narcissistic of her to be like. I need to be there. That's what i'm going to go. But i didn't even think it was may factored. I was like who in their right mind would think a sick person should go to. That's what i we manufactured in the sense that she forced the storyline because she thought it would look bad. She was like oh melita flew out for my pregnancy. I have to be seen forcing myself to try to be there like for me because all of us as normal people are like of course. You don't go absolutely not. That is not how that works. Your ex she she. It's fucking ov- it made her look bad. Though i was saying. I think it made her look bad. I think she thought it was going to make her look like a true friend and trying to get get her way in and it's like no it's not a value. Emily carr's being very funny though when she calls her like. I wanna take a shower. My keep moving in france and she like we have to see chloe like ask the doctor she can go and the doctor's like no you snow. I'm dr not the fake when you had come on your show. Oh that's not how it's working in hospitals right. Now you wanna tic briefly. Just checked dr boris. And he doesn't he's not rated very well. Oh interesting. Yeah i guess. He looks good on camera. But All right so we have. Our officials stay at home orders Krizan korean that dog guy. That dog big. Yeah i know this scene. I was like it's very interesting. When rich people feel powerless. The quote. I wrote that thing that she said something about like about how. It's interesting that we don't have any control. Yeah and it only lasted for like a month for them. Maybe but not even but like it was weird. That's like as a. Yeah that's weird for you right. She's like it affects the way we're eating. I was like yeah because you don't have assistance running out every day to get your food because they just literally can't write a guy. Those times are so crazy here in california because we were like. Do we have to prove that. We're going to be an essential worker to leave our high. Hi tim get area. I know just from walking is coming i. It looks like a ghost. It's like she's got a mirror behind her guys. So i just see like this black shrouded figure walk by should not be jogging in a black hoodie. He's got bright red shorts mobile possession Yeah we it is really interesting watching them like juggle this like control piece of it. Because they're like well but and then what we do know what happens is that they do get to do whatever they want they do. Bend all the laws and rules. They do exactly what they want but in this one little sliver of the moment before they've met with their you know whoever their business people are let them go to paris over the hell they wanna go there like weird. This is yeah. Weird for us. This or life to seem with kim being like me and i'm sleeping in either. Give the guest room or in a fort by that. But then i was like well at least seeing the kids. She's like i'm baking mac and cheese but the kids were actually legitimately cute to see is. It's very funny. If you follow norway's black book she's always making fun of chicago. Calling your mr mrs personality. Because she so like deadpan that phase and that baby truly like has never had an feeling ever. She's just all she has. The dentist is she's beautiful. Fagan's for little doll hollow. Kim being absolutely tickled by making mac and cheese. I feel like i'm in college again. And she was like. Oh my god saint to you like it. You don't even like mac and cheese and it's like it's from a box. Listen kim. I mean i know this is a huge thrill to be anywhere near children around the when they're eating but let's just relax. The kids are being very cute. They're like it better because everything's better when mommy does it think oh my god. Someone taught you well. Yes there's nannies are like yes. North is gonna be like a cult leader one day. You can tell she's really got it in her where she's like. Yes mommy you are the best. And she's like whispered in saint dear. This is how you get her. She's full-blown narcissism play into that. Got it yes. Thank you northey. So meanwhile is getting a lot lot lot worse. She has her she's shaking. Her hair is sick. Scherer hair got sick. I loved. I loved that short. Curly mess of a hair. It was very like meg. Ryan and when harry met sally just gimme some thick bangs and loved it. It was such a natural. Like i love on look. I also know why she doesn't wear it because what she wants us to hear is. It's not her. it's not her now. I think a lot of women could wear and look great with the maybe like young and kind of like that east side vibe about it. It's not hip enough to do it. But no she's like she's a nubian queen is what she's trying to be funny. I saw that too. It was like oh hi. Kuroda brought out a new hairstyle and so she we find out. Connie has corona khloe has corona. She has this very dramatic. Confessional gap camera made me truly. Ll where she goes like. Let's all get through this and then like looks in the camera and is like may god bless saw. I ain't nothing ever made me feel like we're about to turn a corner for the worse than that moment of television and it felt like not. They're not they're time line in our timeline. She is foreshadowing. Make god bless us all. I was like this is ominous. It was always like out. She thinks she's in a movie of like this. Is you know. Yeah this is the big seen before like ellian invaders or something. I was just like relax. Your fine yeah and then we have. Chris being said because she can't be there corny and kim facetime and he's like wait. So did you guys take her to the hospital. And kim's like we tried to theaters told us not to co- love cedars don't care we have look beyond say has her baby here. We don't really care. kim. I also next thing i wrote was i love close michael jackson here i was like what is this short blond hair in my notes. They're frustrated. I thought this was very embarrassing. They're frustrated by on the news. They see this. Spring breakers are going out and partying and they're frustrated ask so it was just the aired last week that was filmed in august. Kim as like why are people at bars. It's like they're like oh they did one thing. They're like making new another thing and then we'll do another thing and then we'll do whatever we want all the time. It's amazing you're like watching them. Be us for a sliver a sliver. They actually are us and then like i mean how. I can't even imagine what it's like for them to watch. They don't watch these but like like no they watch them. Oh bay watch they live tweet they lodge they defend them so i need them just being like what nobody's listening and then cut to now but that's the deal and then we get this like kylie subtly. Wow she's like this is crazy guys. Here's my tips on how to stay inside. I have a mansion. Have people waiting on you. Hand-and-foot irene have a bathtub not everybody has a bathtub kylie. It was so the like just the the parade of tone deafness. And i remember kylie posting something about this and people coming for her but that like this comparison of a pandemic lockdown being equivalent in her mind to hiding her pregnancy from tabloids. She's a dumb idiot. I was like no kylie. it's not the same. it's not the same. it's not the same at all. I can't stay inside because they have to work for assholes like you. Yes exactly and like this idea of like just this patronizing tone of like a twenty two year old being like look guys. I hate to break it to you. But i already did. This is so easy it really felt like they're like we have. No kylian. is episode kylie. Will you film something. And she's like got it got it. I know he's likely what this is like for. Everybody right here. Let me make sure that my face is twelve shades darker than my part and then we get this lake. Zoom lynch would know kylie. We we got chris. Kim courtney scott khloe kindle even pops on hanno cubs highly. Doesn't like she doesn't need them. She doesn't need them. She doesn't care and we get. Chris crying she misses. Mj scott is in palm springs. The courtney and the kids just and the cutest family being very cute. They're not looks great year now. They look great. They seem really happy. Then we get a bit of a palm springs house. Swap and chris is now in palm springs and she's got little. Mj on her scooter. She was very sweet she. Mj out of her condo and nice if jay fought at the hallway. Then though i was like did. I hear this wrong. Then did they start talking about turning that house into a hotel. Yeah and then mandatory to we 'isolation so that you have to charge them for the time. I like the apple pay. I need credit more to mj. For where this comes from the we can probably get a lot of money for this house. And i was like what what what you need. I know you're joking but stop man. Mj's come a long way from that little candle shop in la hoya humble roots And then we have cloy face having with gem melita about meeting as an. I'm sad i was. Everyone said we weren't there. Bob and i love how close like basically says i'm happy that could use wasn't also led the room. That's funny she's like. I did kind of make me happy. I mean not really but you know they also didn't like a dj. And i really amy. You're happy that maliki had less support in the scariest thing in the world. The only that made me feel better. Is that nobody could do it. If i can't do it nobody can. Your twin sister was forced to be excluded. Like me a person who wanted to come there. When i was sick kadisha stupid. You should've worn a pregnancy belly and dolan gown and pretend like that was you could asia and then you hide under the bed. Where are you thinking or is he crack this case. If anyone should be able to speak on in there could be you get to take advantage of being twins in hide in the hospital and nobody can tell who which one's the pregnant this year. God do a labor slop your dummies beyond belief. And that's what's up. But i do think khloe told us who she was in that moment. She said if. I can't have it. I'm glad you didn't either. One hundred meg. God bless us all make. God bless us all tim so this was a tough one this week. Me feel better right now is that i'm looking at honey across the room asleep. I mean just one little chubby nipples. As pop down nip slip slip. She's about seven inches. Long little popped out happens to the best of us especially during quarantine tabs on all that. I mean how many people have to be caught without pants on and jerking off sometimes and it will only get worse. I feel like we will only continue to hear more stories of this as people get like lazier and less cautious and just like whatever i this this whole lake past he will forever. But it's been an enlightening decade about how much men have to pull their wieners out in front of people so weird. What an impulse to not understand and just put any. See back what you would. You would be willing to lose what you would be willing to let crumble in order to just get your dog out for in a moment. It shouldn't be out with it out. I mean i. Just i ll. It's yeah we don't we don't understand. And you'll find some women who liked to flash like. I have some people in my life who loved to like do a little like boob flash. But it's way fewer and far between me body and funny and like racy than i feel like sexually gratifying. Probably like a sexual well. Yeah 'cause boobs don't do in orgasms so so it's like about like yeah like but anyway we'll see what happens. Thank you for this. This was a tough one. And i am glad we did it. I i know we sound bitter and we are so. This is just what's happening. I hope you hear the full one to one of our bitterness completely acknowledged but also. I'm proud of us because i truly like was resentful about high. Almost almost texted you this morning to be like. I don't know if i can do it but they do. Then it was like the more i thought about it. I was like. I wanna talk about like why i'm mad. And what what i want. People to hear us be mad. Because i don't like you know we. We get all kinds of feedback and sometimes it is about how we're like sycophants and sometimes it's about how are too hard on them and it's like at the end of the day. I think if. I'm really proud of and we talk about a lot. Is that like. It's not any one thing you know. I yeah that we are hard on them when they deserve it. And i think we fawn over them when we are loving on them and i think it's pretty deserved all the time and not. Everybody has to agree. But this was a stretch that i was like. Yuck yuck they nasty can't wait for their show to be over yemi to we'll figure out with next. Okay guys. in the meantime we love you. Were here. We released new episodes every monday. Check out our website. Kardasian dot com subscribing apple. Podcasts please rate and review. Check out our twitter and instagram lake. Our facebook page. Email is at kardashian. Edgy dot com. Go vote if you haven't if you haven't voted you can go and person bring your mail in a handed to them. If you don't have it asks for provisional if for any reason you turned away at the pull you say you have to give me a provisional. It is my legal right. You tell them that. I don't know the number. You're supposed to text if someone is intimidating you at the polls but i put in our show notes in our show notes. Be prepared it. May it's really need divisive out there. it's really dicey. There's a lot of like wild things happening in the news. A lot of protesting. Legally they cannot do that. And you can report it stay safe. Make sure you got your game plan where some depends or whatever case you have to t- you can send them pizza to the polls. There's a couple of different ones i wish gets in porta-pottys to the polls but you're not allowed to leave the line. Right get those depends baby That's crazy these are crazy days. Please stay sane and safe. Were here And we hope we can provide you even with our bitching about this family with even a small window of distraction. And what's going to be a really stressful week. Take care of yourselves self care. And that's it. Thanks so much for listening to kardashian it.
Ep 215: KUWTK Season 19 Finale Recap
"So usual winds are wine for the modern drinker. And i know told you is about this company before but for me. Personally i think the thing that makes it. The most unique is the fact that each model is six point. three ounces. so that's equivalent like heavy poor or about a glass half of wine. So how many times do not finish the bottle. You end up pouring down. The there's no more of that is the single sir format. It's this specific bottles. Zayn and it's always fresh. There's no more flat bubbly more stale rosa. Also the winds are low and they have zero grams of sugar so a lot of people ask well. Don't grapes contain sugar and you ask them to clarify lines producing natural. Sustainable grapes that are harvested every fall and basically they are picked at this optimal rightness to kind of ensure that all the sugar will be fermented completely until the winds are dry with no residual sugar. So they actually have a special holiday product from early november usual reserve and it's an ultra premium limited edition mount for deer. Cabernet sauvignon so introducing usual reserve. This is our most special on yet just in time for the holidays hailing from one of the most celebrated pilots that one of the most celebrated pasta land and all of napa. This cabernet sauvignon is concentrated and rich with just enough grip. Gift it to someone special or keep it offer yourself the holidays as usual so go check out their website at www dot usual winds dot com and use artists gone code. Cbc for eight dollars off your first order and try your first class on us guys. I'm emma julie. And we're the girls line thomas celebs and welcome to another absolute bonus show. Hey jewel hi. This is the finale truly l. And a finale. It was yeah but came out of left field. I was not expecting after eight episodes. It was gonna be a finale. I know i. I just saw a tweet. We neither of us knew. I saw a tweet from the crash into countless warning. That was like in the finale tonight. And i was like. Are you going to tell us. I had no idea. But so julie wash episode before i did and i love when this happens when she tax me. She's like 'em you're gonna love this ad. Oh my god were you right. This was everything. I could want out of an episode. Do you think this is the most open they were. I'm not gonna say the most open. Because i feel like there have been other things but definitely this season. Yes it almost felt like because they physically couldn't have any other bullshit because they didn't have the capability to do so and they really just had to chronicle what was going on in their real lives and this just happened to be happening in their real lives they had to give it to us and yeah i guess i would say so. Also we'll get into this because it's like the main chunk of the episode but so much of it obviously takes place on facetime zoom and i just feel like when they're in person sometimes the conversations they have seemed like a little for the camera little acted but the zoom conversations were so so raw. Oh for sure. I hope that all of you listening if you wash that you felt the same way that we did because it was like so many things that i know we have all been thinking in wanting to discuss and then they did it and i was just like wow especially because you know another element is that we didn't even discuss. Tell me sorry. I'm so passionate it was. It was the fact that one hand we got behind the scenes. Ak when the whole scott rehab thing happened. We saw that but we never saw the behind the scenes so we that but then the tristan stuff we never saw something about. Of course we've been wondering about the general concept and it wasn't like we knew one. Specific scene was happening. It wasn't like we were ever teased as to his conversation with chris so it seemed like two different types of behind the scenes but some that we had been previewed on that. We had it exactly. Yes i can't wait we start. I would still much to say. let's start. i know okay. So i let me just tell you guys were doing this on a little bit differently just because instead of going seen by seeing we basically split up into the two biggest topics which obviously were trysted and chloe and scott with rehab thing so we put together all of the tristan and chloe scenes into one and then all of the scott scenes into one. So we're going to discuss them in sections because it just. I think it will lead to more meaningful conversation. We can get rid of the stupid bullshit. That honestly has no place in this episode. Exactly i'm so excited. Joy am no. I can't even okay so right now. we're just gonna start out with tristan employees. Okay we start out with khloe corny interests and they're all working out khloe hasn't worked out in a while. Obviously because of covid and she sell filming shooting outside with him and you can just tell. There is a real flirty nece. That's happening here you know. Yeah very flirty. Like not outright touchy but definitely a distinct energy. She sets the scene for us in her confessional. She says ever since california has been locked down tristan and i basically have been quarantined together. But not like he doesn't live here. He has his own house. But i know he self isolating and he saved to come back and forth. He's inciting a ton of time here. And i know it wasn't for quarantine that we wouldn't be spending this much time together but i like spending time with them which i was grateful for because i wanted to know exactly the breakdown. So it kind of made sense. She was like he can go back to his home but because he's safe he's coming back and forth right make sense. I was very curious about that. Especially during when she was quarantining in he was taking care of true. Yes also total sino when they're sitting in. She's saying they're six depart and then he stretches out his leg and he's like no more like three feet and she's like you're like seven feet tall like oh i know that's why you got into this mess in the first place island. We were going to say that It really i say this. Every time. And i actually. This episode wasn't even stopping myself. I was kind of just letting me go with it. It was the finale. I was getting into it. But tristen is one attracted man. I know not everyone agrees nelson. Is we say that and people mess adjustment. I don't see. I really really see it. I can't help it. No he looked really fucking gut in this episode us just like honestly. I think that the i think that you can put personality or anything. You don't like about a person aside and just judge them based on their looks and say that they're hot you don't have to be attracted to them based on what they've done or based on how you view them but you can admit that tristan's one attractive person with that beard's different breed. Let me tell you what he had the braids stop. he's he. Yeah it's a lot. Okay let's keep going so next scene were on this family. Zoom and. it's chris. Khloe scott rob kendall and kim amazing crew obviously amazing scene. Yeah and scott's kind of starting out by saying he rented this house in malibu trying to change up the scenery and he feels like it'll be good for him mentally as well as the kids. Don't worry we're gonna get into a very lengthy. And i would imagine analytical scott conversation after we do this entire khloe interesting thing by. Yeah i know you're like so chloe's putting on makeup and they're kind of just playing with ron christie. Like where are you going. What are you doing in scott's like oh tristan's coming over and close like no. He's not and chris says you're doing total makeup. Where are you going. Scott goes pound tout by the way. Julie scott was elite in this scene. Scott's in every scene scott elevates every single scene that he's in his commentary is superb adjust. The show would not be the show without scott for for the past one thousand nine seasons you know how e for the people's choice award they always do like reality television star of the air and a lotta times either kim workload. That's up for it. It should be it. We'll know what i was gonna say. I don't actually think that he would win the main award however there should be a category for like narrator or commentator because the show genuinely would be significantly less fun to watch if it wasn't for his commentary. I so agree yeah anyway. So scott like he's she's gonna pound town employees goes. No one said anything. When kim is doing makeup tutorials the other day and rob goes they. Let's go and scott says what are we all think has. Chloe slept tristan yet. Arrive goes yes. Is like percent sky goes. That's what i said. She said no close. No i haven't. Chris says by the way it's none of our business you. She should do whatever she wants to do. And scott says. I want her to lady employee says. I don't think anyone is coming from an attacking place. But i would say i genuinely haven't the only thing we've done is like peck by the way i am just like yes. I want to know this information so badly. That's why this episode was so. I felt like a lot of times. They scoot around things. Like no ha ha like this is just i know but this no but this yes we did this. No we didn't do. It was like every single question i had. I felt like i actually got answered. It was also the type of thing. Where if you were in this group of your in. This family of this same situation was happening with one of your friends of like. Oh they're kind of pointing with her ex boyfriend. You'd be asking this exact question. It was very relatable missiles that they were asking. The questions at any of us would be asking to our friends. Okay so interconfessional. While this is all going on she says my family just up each other's asses all the time and it's just strange. But i love it but sometimes i have to process things. It's okay to go through motions. We don't have to go from eight. Eze and kim says let me tell you. I thought they did one hundred percent and i was convinced she was lying and then i sat them both down two days ago and talk to them. Scott says. why don't you tell me that we talked about it on the walk yesterday. Just he ever try. Clo- khloe says every day. I say no because i love how friendly we are. Is it right to keeping hanging out with him. And i don't even know what motives are. I don't know but i know it. His are and scott. Says i think he was still rather hang out with you in this capacity. Nothing at all great point by the way yup and chris says and by the way. There's no dating going on right now. We're not allowed to leave the house. Rob says no one's leaving the house. You're absolutely right. Mom and kim's like mushy wants to get on tinder. I fucking loved this. Seen everything about it. I can't get over it also. Obviously i'm wondering like could have charged hinder for that one line mention. You know they should have. That scene was just. It was like the perfect example Of a family facetime like obviously in later scenes. We get into so more deeper information and the clothing maliki maliki interesting whatever but this was just such a good starting point in terms of information like i feel like i really got my bearings together. This conversation you're so happy right now. I just loved this episode. Nothing makes me happier than when you're watching something or seeing something before i do and your taxes and you're like em i'm not gonna say word but you're going to be so happy it gets me so in the mood gami so in the mood and i'm just really great right now. This is the thing that you and i always say. We don't need the theatrics of an episode. We just need the information and that's all this was straightforward information that we watched exactly exactly. Okay so next. Scene comes from also telling. Facetime julia transcribe pretty much all this. So i'm going to read. I think the entire scene. And then we'll get into a discussion. Because i don't want to even try to attempt to summarize her words because i think the actual language use is important so close on facetime with malaysia and says. Ots's visiting with his son. You know we've got this co-parenting thing down khloe says he's one month old she goes. We've got down on thinking positive. How're things truce daddy and chloe's talking. They're in a good place that he's being really helpful and she says i can also tell. His energy is different touch shoulders. Or something like okay. You're getting a little too touchy. He's like i just want you to know if ever you're thinking the same thing i'm here for you and me says he still love you and chloe says no one. I know that. But think i feel a little more pressured even my family's like so. Are you guys leaving together or not. Like no we're not and he's like we never said. I need an answer but i always feel like he needs an answer. So what are we doing and interconfessional khloe saying. I do feel pressure from tristan but not because he's told me like i've never had an ultimatum from him. I just feel like it's been over a year since we broke up. Now that we're hanging out more. I can tell he's getting antsy and chloe salita. I just wish. I had a definitive answer on my end. Like i wish i either said i have all these feelings richardson. I'm just afraid or gosh. i don't have any feelings. I just don't even know how to get a feeling about him. Any feeling and malaysia says because you're scared and you're blocking out your feelings about those things because it safe. I think you're just not open to being loved because all the shit that's happened. Okay what she says next. Confessionals really important so listened intently. Close as i one hundred percent have a block up but who when ever relationship by going to. They're always disappointing in fucked up. So i have every reason to be guarded. I have every reason to have these bricks and layers up and if somebody cares enough they will take those breaks down brick by brick otherwise. I'm very good sitting my pals with my mot- alligators. And all the walls around me. Powerful us talk about that thirty seconds. Okay i can't wait. Maliki says and in most cases no one wants to get back with the guy who broke your heart in front of millions of people but to be quite honest with you. The khloe that i know doesn't give a fuck people think he loves you and i believe deep down inside. You still love him. She says. I just don't know magically i can get there. I don't know i don't know how to even try that and will go says you won't if you don't try take baby steps opened up a little bit. You won't even really have a conversation with the man about your relationship. And the past like no two people actually move on from things without at least communicating about it. You gotta start somewhere. Oh god what are you saying. I think so much. Do you wanna go. I know you go okay. There's so much happening here. I felt like it's not. The khloe has ever been in denial about being guarded rate. I don't think that she tries to lie about that. However the way that she outlined. I was so glad to hear her. Say because that's what we've been saying and that's what we've been feeling like she really does have this guard up and i genuinely think she's almost okay with that kind of like she said you know what if it doesn't work unhappy in my palace with my mot- like that was a very kind of telling analogy to the way that she's building this emotional up around her and so i felt like to hear her. Say it. i mean personally. It was just validating. Because that's how we've been feeling but also it was very self aware and very honest. And i i just. It was a really good feeling. That's how i fell also and curse saying non her admitting that i think it does give context to them getting back together. Actually because i think a lot of the times when we talk about tristan and the idea of them getting back together we do treat it like. It's an isolated incident just in terms of like close relations. Guys like we always talk about. Like how off was i like. How could i be so trusting of so many different people who hurt me in such extreme ways. But i think a lot of times when we talk about trust and we just talk about tristan. If were expecting that khloe is going to eventually be in a relationship again. Which of course she is. She's a beautiful young woman like it. It's only natural that she's going to want to have a relationship again. I think that if you're khloe and you get hurt by somebody who's already hurt you before. Then it's like it's kind of like the devil you know is better than a double. You don't know because it's like okay. At least i can say like. I knew this was going to happen. I weighed the risks. That i still got involved if you enter another relationship and then this happens again. It's like how many more times can i go through this. It's a you can trust the person who hurt you better than you can trust somebody that you don't know that you will assume will hurt. You inevitably no. I think that's an excellent point. And i actually have a question about that because while i completely agree with you and you know as we know now they're seemingly back together so for whatever reason she got back with him. She did probably a combination of a lot of different things. That i guess my thing is like while i think that's absolutely accurate and fair and could have played into the decision. It would make me sad if that's the reason that she got back with him. Do you know what i mean like. It's not a it's not a good feeling to not trust your judgment so much that you go back with what hurry because you can't even stomach the idea of choosing someone else poorly and then having that reflect on your kind of judgement so i guess. My question is like other. Things have played in her decision of of getting back with him right thousand percent. I don't that was the sole reason. I think that when she was kind of mentally weighing her own pros and cons of being back with him. I think that that definitely played a role. I think because when you're khloe and you think about your history and you think of who you've been with and the ways in which you've been hurt and the idea of having to go through that again no matter who is with whether it's tressler somebody else when your just weighing the pros and cons of being back with him the idea of could he hurt me worse than you already hurt me has to play into it or can he hurt worse than he already hurt me or somebody could potentially hurt me. I think it's gonna play a role whether that's a healthy processor. Not a when you're in a situation like chloe's in not every thought process you have in this decision is going to be a healthy thought process because you're getting back into something that is inherently unhealthy in certain ways right exactly. That's kind of the point that i wanted to clarify. Have no part of me feels good about that. Being a portion of the reality of it because to me like khloe is one of the most generous of love and spirit and such a unbelievably like giving partner that. I would never want her to get back with someone because she feels like oh well kind of the lesser of two evils and not. I mean like she should be settling for her emotional trauma. If that makes sense and i totally agree with you. I don't think she should be there. And i don't i also don't think it's as simple as that but i think that you can also look at a lot of celebrities who kind of handle relationships like that. I think that when you're a celebrity and your frost is already so diminished by the people around you. You weigh pros and cons in every single relationship. You're in whether it's business. Friendship romantic like i think. That's just a natural part of being a celebrity for chloe. A huge part of losing her trust in people were having to rebuild her trust and people had to do with her relationships. But i think there's already an inherent lack of trust just based on who she is and based on the celebrity that she hasn't who are family is a million a million percent. I also think this be a very different conversation. If they didn't have a child together and hundred there wouldn't have been given a second chance. And i think that we also can't discount the role that her parents divorced played in this because they think that from her perspective. It could have been yes. My mom cheated on my dad. Yes like they split up because of that would. My childhood have been better. Wanted by parents have given me a better childhood. Had gotten back together or had they been able to work through that and gone to a point where even though she cheated they work through their issues and they were able to parent together and be a family together and be in a relationship together. And i think that chloe's desire for that can't be discounted in her own decision to want to give that to true. Oh for sure. I mean you know that's a conversation. We have a lot with his family. About how cheating is. I'm not gonna say taken less seriously than in other situations. That's completely not fair statement however we've seen multiple times cheating happen and not only the person and forgive the person and get back with them but also the entire family culture around. It has been more accepting i mean. Some people could say that they could resent chris for the rest of their lives for cheating on robert. And that's not the case and there's no right or wrong there however they chose to deal with. It is the way that they chose clearly. It works for them. But i'm just saying the concept of cheating. Generally in their family. I think is handled differently than we see with a lot of other people. Yeah i think that is one of the areas that they are probably more forgiving than most in and probably has so much to do with. Chris and i think maliki says that later on where. She's at christie's one of the most forgiving people that you'll meet bright because i think chris really appreciated the grace in which her children forgave her. Yeah i'm sure. And i think the last thing before we move onto the next scene is just in terms of chloe's judgment and in terms of her reasoning behind getting back with trust than i think we can't discount the fact that tristan seems to be really improving in seems to be growing and changing and accepting what he's done. I think this episode really showed that at least for me a dead because it would be discounting the person that khloe is to just be like while she got backed him. It was inevitable. Flowing is a smart enough indefinitely. Strong enough girl to have to have multiple reasons beyond just unhealthy wants to get back with him. I completely agree. The last thing that i want to say about the scene is when she says i don't know romantically i can get there. I don't know. I don't know how to even try that. My point on that is kind of like you can interpret that statement in a couple of different ways the first is. I don't know if i could physically allow myself meaning being intimate with someone. Yes i know. They had a kid together. They've had a million times. It's like a very very emotionally raw act right like you are in essence giving your body to someone momentarily while you were having sex with them being naked with someone that is your most vulnerable and so it really takes a lot. It's not just sex when there's this much involved right. There's no way that it can be just sexy. And so you can interpret that statement in that way or you can interpret it in the way of. I don't know if i can even open. That can of worms. Because then i don't want to. I don't want to have that influence my decision. You know. there's a couple of different interpretations than i would imagine. It's a mix of all often times even if you're really really attracted to someone it's hard to wanna go there if the vulnerability isn't there so while she still has these emotional walls up. It would almost feel counter intuitive to then feel okay having sex with him and as she does. That's totally her choice. I'm just saying it's it's a common thing specifically for women. Our bodies are sanctuaries and so i definitely think there's a layer of vulnerability there that i don't know if she's fully comfortable confronting a million a million percent and also the last thing just going off of that is throughout the whole episode. You see chloe kind of struggle with the guilt is she leading trust and and like is does it make her a bad person that she hasn't been able to make up her mind yet with what she wants. And i think there's just added layer of like if it was just a need based thing where she felt like she wanted to have sex because it had been a while and it was just that she wanted to do. She felt like she could be there vulnerably with him without of being like a huge emotional experience. I think there's a layer of guilt that she has where she's like. I can't do that to him right now. Right exactly exactly. That's very much true. Because she's again much more conscious than he is. Yes we're gonna go to an outbreak. I feel like god in that was intense but did you see that. Hailey and johnston both on follow. Carlin's that's kinda crazy. I did follow him before. Yes of course they did on. Wow that's z. that is crazy. That whole thing is crazy. I know but it. It really does feed into what we were saying. We were talking about last night. Of like how i really genuinely think justin was like personally impacted by this well and that goes into the whole point of think of as a celebrity. How many different ways. Somebody can ruin your trust in them. A yeah especially because he. I'm sorry know this unrelated identical I literally dot com. I also think because justin has been open about the fact that he didn't know if he had confidence in himself to like be faithful and so he really leaned on his faith and he leaned on other examples of men that have been to like. Give him that confidence within himself to do it. I know that sandra giggles because you should be able to. But he was honest in saying he didn't now he hundred can so i think it was a real kind of hits gut. Yeah i so agree. And i'm so glad he has chance there to step in for him. You and me both both okay. Let's cut to an ad reagan. We will come back with facetime. I love this company. I was so excited. When i found out we were doing an ad for them. And i'm sure most of familiar. But i'm talking about l. cosmetics and their whole thing is that they're all bringing the best of beauty to every i live in face which is actually what else stands for which i honestly had no idea and the thing with them is that you know you're getting high quality premium makeup at a very very reasonable price and i think you know oftentimes misconception that you have to spend a lot of money on up for it to be good and ashes. Not the case here. They have so many products that i think prove that point but specifically the portless party primer is one of their bestselling products. It is absolutely excellent. Any do a lot of things. Whether it's a new formula of a fun collab- they're very much kind of in the moment. They have their finger on the post in terms of what people want. They have a really just excellent line of products and everything is a hundred vegan and cruelty. Free the also make a great gift especially for the holidays and right now is an exclusive offer for our podcast listeners. You get twenty five percents off your elf. Purchase a forty dollars or more so go to elf cosmetics dot com slash. Cbc and use promo code. Cdc got this exclusive offer. It's the best you the right now. And you won't find it anywhere else. That's promo code. Cbc elf cosmetics dot com slash cbc for twenty five percent off your purchase. Okay so next thing. This is maliki interest in our face. Timing i'm gonna read verbatim. A lot of julie transcribed most of its again. I think it's important. So she's interconfessional and she says after talking khloe decided to to trust him because he's my friend too and he does have a great heart and he's a good person he just made some really horrible mistakes and i think he does need the sound advice. It doesn't come from one of his friends. You need to know what she needs to mend fences with her. So she's asking. Are you guys in a good space. And he says yeah. We're in a good space. But obviously you know. I lost my partner in crime. It's like damn it hits you hard. She sacrificed the world for me at for me to be immature. Not smart and not really understand what i value what i realized that i put a lot of weight on opinions. It didn't matter we get so used to make everyone else happy. We forget what makes tristan happy and with me realizing that. It's okay to be deeply in love. You don't lose your manpower that doesn't define you. I wanna break the wheel of what people think is okay regardless if you're a professional athlete or entertainment it's okay to be a guy deeply in love. I'm sorry we have to talk about that for you and continue. I'm so glad you saw. I have never heard him say that. Know anything he said in this episode. I've never heard him say before. First time that he was honest about anything. And i have to say. I really money i. I very much was giving him the benefit of this entire episode. Because it's just it's a much more. It's a much more interesting conversation to do. So like what are we going to sit here and just shit on the entire time. I don't think that's a productive way to do this. We've done that enough in previous times. I only didn't feel like the need to do that. Same no not at all not at all. But i'm saying like you could be if you wanted to. You could be incredibly critical of this process. But i'm saying i personally everybody listening can choose to do whatever they want personally for me like. I was trying to acknowledge and appreciate his vulnerability and like go from there. And you know it's it's interesting. Because i have all always thought that not just with him but with a lot of other men in various successful positions whether it's an athlete weather's actor whether it's someone that has women kind of falling all over them but a lot of time we hear them say it of like i just couldn't control myself whereas this was more like i didn't want to let down the boys like it wasn't cool to be faithful cool to be in love. That's basically what he was saying. Yeah it's interesting. We've spoken about. And i specifically the nba because it does have that reputation and clearly that that's what trust is talking about here kind of cheating culture within the nba. I think is something that's pretty well known For a long time that's been the case and that component of that is something that we've spoken about before and i don't think it's necessarily valid excuse but it is interesting to hear him say and hear him kind of site that as part of his thought process exactly. I mean this was what we were getting. Here was a very very clear insight into a man in his position. Stop process which i would imagine is consistent with a lot of other people and the conversation probably only came because he was talking to melinda. And you know this is only something that could have come from talking to melita talking to scott or talking to one of his friends because this is not something he was going to say to kris jenner or to kim. No of course. And i think what's really interesting is if you kind of think about the two occasions that we know for sure that this happened on. I'm sure there are others. Previous to the first cheating scandal day occurred when he was with a group of people. Yeah so. I'm not an excuse. But it definitely like if you're if that's what he citing and that's what you're thinking back to does line up well lineup completely completely. So she says in response to what he said but there was something needed to learn obviously about yourself and he feels that you've got everything's not lost especially because you guys have a family there's always gonna fight for. It's a long hard fought journey but the two of you if the two of you believe is something truly fighting for them. That's exactly what you should do. At interconfessional she says by vice attrition when it comes to chloe's honestly be forthright humble yourself leave your ego at the door and i think the more he shows that side of himself the marshall open up jim and he says losing her main meals. A part of myself and i was going down about. That was not who i wanted to be the toughest part. So when i first met chloe i told chris i would love to take your daughter to cleveland and i gave her my word that was going to protect her daughter and i failed. That kills me the most when you look at someone in the is someone you respected in high regards for. And he left them down. Emily says just. Let chris know like you're not going anywhere and maybe even tell her your angle. She has a big heart is the most forgiving person but she can also read the bullshit so she's the person that's like i do. Then you got yourself in a much better position in prisons. As i want my baby back i want my queen back in the league. Says you gotta work. This was like right out of a fucking hallmark movie. That's how i felt too. It was. I really love the angle of two people who are not in the immediate family but are as close as you can get talking about the family. There are just something about that. That i was like i felt like they could just understand each other and give each other really sound advice on being an outsider unquote also. It was interesting with monica. Because i personally didn't feel this way. But i was wondering if other people would where if you're a couple of seasons ago when they went to that i think in atlantic city or something like that and treason had left that diamond necklace for chloe in and melito was the one that was kind of coordinating the whole thing and i think we may have criticized her. I think other people do to of saying like why are you being so supportive of them getting back together when she's clearly so hurt he fucked up so badly and so. I didn't feel that way here like i felt like now. There's been a lot more time but let's just not forget. Molina has been in the corner of them getting back together for a long time not to discredit what he did. Like joe's ming a bad friend. Chloe but this is some for her. I think this was a long time in the making. Yeah definitely. I still stand by the criticism of the necklace thing because i felt like a it was too soon and it was. Here's the difference. This is tristan. Finally coming forward with an honest conversation with honest feelings with acknowledging what he did wrong. How he's going to fix it the way he genuinely feels the thing with the necklace the thing with the gifts it was like that was the bullshit. You don't get somebody that you love and hurt that badly by giving them gifts and avoiding the difficult conversation and the thing we always said we were talking about in the beginning is. I don't know what i want to do differently. But i know it's not this. This is what it is owning up being a man like. I felt like this was the first time where i was like. I can understand that. This wasn't just khloe saying the easy way out is to get that with trust in. I can understand why. I don't have to agree with it and neither does anybody else. But i can understand why khloe felt like her frost. Him was being built back. Because this was the first time that i was like tristan. Drop the bullshit. Drop the bullshit. He recognized gifts clearly. Were not her love language he was about to look kris jenner in the eyes and i completely agree. I completely agree and agree. I stand by my previous criticism of that before. Because you're right. It was too soon. And the only real point that i was trying to make there was like out of everyone i would say for talking cam courtney chris etcetera mollica was probably the most forgiving of tristan the earliest. If that makes she was the easiest to convince. Yeah which were. Yeah which is interesting and you know one could argue. Do her experiences in her relationships plan to that i don't know her stuff with. Ot came a little bit later on. But i don't know as much as you want to be objective. It's physically impossible to because you always judge things through the lens of your lived experiences. We just do that as human. Of course we try to be objective you can and so depending on what happened. In malaysia goes love life. It could have totally influenced the way that she felt about tristan. Yeah also i think laliga is such an incredible friends who khloe and even though the backless thing i still don't love a really approve of. I thought it was just done. Well think that maliki knows that khloe wanted trust in back and that this was inevitable. For her i agree. She's just a really rider. Die like truly she's in it for the long and she's a good person and by the way so is could usua- a hundred percent of one percent. They clearly were raised right because they have. I think a really good sense of how to be a good person. Yeah so okay so or about to bring out the big guns. This is chris interest in their actresses house. Gorgeous backyard by the way gorgeous. Those two chairs on top. Sometimes they do that bullshit where they give they. Show the back of chris's old house. Which is now were ops house. And it's like we know that that's not her house now. Do you know what i mean. Yeah it's like. Why are you trying to do that to us. Also like when they showed the front of his old house which is rob's house which isn't even her house. yeah. I know it's like they don't do that with anyone else. Which is why it was clearly wasn't a privacy issue right. It's like give us a little more credit please. So they sit down and are just talking and she asked how her doing he says. We're doing really good. I think just. Sometimes i think it's human nature you know you second guess yourself like will ever get back to that place with her. Am i good. Enough is she. Into who i'm becoming. And i remember you telling me that's baby girl. That's my bunny. When i heard her. I let you down in our relationship. And she says 'cause you heard her you were all of us and he says when i heard her with all the actions did it really affected me a lot because of how much i let you down in our relationship because you've viewed me as a son. That's the part. That was really sad. And chris says the bottom line is we just want her to be happy and we want you to be happy and we want you to be happy as a family and we want true to be happy taking shot. Every time she has happy anderson goes our friendships grown. So much we've never been intimate. And that but i think it's helped our friendship grow. Were basically it's not even like starting from scratch like below scratch just because you're coming in a disadvantage because of my bad mistakes but it's like i'm in the basement. She's in the top floor. And i'm building my way up to try and get her back and chris says we'll least your patient and he says you have to be patient but you also have to understand that when you get frustrated. 'cause you look in the mirror and you have to understand. Why are you here in the first place. It's because of you very self-aware an interest that yes again not trying to give credit for the bare minimum however we have to acknowledge his growth. It's all relative you know like you can't judge his growth based on someone else's maybe came to this conclusion quicker or maybe someone else would have. But he's not there yet so let him do it in his think he's doing a great job. Yeah i re- i mean. Listen i think that this is a scenario in which a lot of people wouldn't have been given a second chance so it's very easy to be like i wouldn't have fallen for that bullshit again or i wouldn't have even put myself in the scenario because he did fuck up so badly two times like on two separate occasions and i'm not discounting either of those if khloe said i'm done i want nothing to do with him. I will drop could often are at his house and pick her up. That is all i will do. I would have understood that a million percent. But that just isn't how the family operates and i don't think that's how chloe wanted things to be so for chloe to be put in a position or closer to put herself in a position where she was already spending time with him for the sake of her daughter and that was important to her for her to be able to see that growth at feel it and trust it. It makes more sense that they would get back together. It's not like she caught him off and then was like okay. I can trust you again. I feel like we can back together. It's like she right now. In quarantine especially every single day seeing growth in him in seeing change in him so while we may not agree with the decision and we may think that like so many things about it and we think it's toxic and whatever to not understand why she got back with him and to not understand. His growth in seattle is discounting a lot of things about about chloe. Yeah the one thing that i will say. Which is i. Guess the flip side to that argument in terms of him is that the benefit of parenting is that she's getting kind of like a microscopic. Look as to the changes. He's making it also really removes a lot of the temptation and i know. Listen if he wanted to sleep with someone he can make it happen. Clearly he's not. You know what i mean. I don't think he's been a if you really wanted to be good. However i do think that like if we're trying to be super objective here we do have to have the voice of the critics which is like okay. Yeah but he's not in season. He's not constantly traveling. You know it would be a lot harder for him to cheat a million percent quarantine no matter what is a bubble even ask even if the question about trenton is cheating. It's just him being president. Run being involved all of those things that were other. Criticisms about tristan The quarantine bubble takes those other variables out of the equation. Because you physically have to be present you physically have to be there because there's nowhere else to go so yes. It is extremely extremely fair. Point but i do think that people stepping up during difficult times like this also does show their character to an extent. Yeah i completely and. Chris hasn't her confessional. Tristan and i have always had a really close relationships when the whole thing happened in the last couple of years the relationship has been a little bit of a challenge for sure and all the ending and healing. That's gone on made me feel good about him as a person and she says him. I mean we've given you such a hard time. We you up so much and he says i deserved it. And she says you've really proven overtime clothing. That you're sorry. Listen if you haven't killed each other yet. Then that's a good sign that you guys are pretty compatible in. And he says. I just want her to be happy her and true. That's my family right there. That's all that matters. Yeah yeah also hint going to. Chris is like that's big. It was necessary. And i would have been like disappointed. An nfc hadn't but that's a lot of growth. Yes it's completely necessary. I mean you're facing your probably most disappointed critic. Yeah and the person that made you feel the most disappointed in yourself aside from khloe. That's kind of what i that's kind of what i meant to say that she was the most disappointed but that she was the hardest to face. Maybe not because of what she would have done but the reaction that it would have elicited internally. So i know this year has been a lot for all of us and i think the one thing we agree on that less stress and more sleep is something we could really benefit from and that is why we are so excited to partner with com. 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Done this rodeo before your actions don't go with your words and for almost a year now you've been a different person. It frustrates me. Because i'm like why now. Why are you the man i dreamed of. Currently why could he be when we were together. Like what am i. Fear is like you're acting like this until you get what you want and then if you do you're gonna turn into chris and again and he says no. I spent almost a year like anybody should waste their time. If they're not going to be serious especially with what put you through. I've grown to the point. Where i know what i want my life that i want you my life so obviously will always be in each other's lives in terms of us having true but i mean i want more than that she says but you can understand the reservations that i have do. I love you a million percent. Am i in love with you. Currently no but would it be great if i could have this fairy tale ending. Yes but just because you have a family with someone. It also doesn't mean you have to stay with someone if is not the best fit. I don't know what the future holds all. I do not actively trying to take down little bricks. And i try to be more interesting. I really try. It's a slow process. But that's just how it has to be for me. But i do appreciate the effort you make. The new is night and day. Who you are unlike I don't know what to do the part that i'm really glad she brought up. Because i think this was my biggest reservation. And i still like. I still don't know if it's a hundred percent not the case. But when she said to him. I'm scared. You're going to get what you want and then go back to the old tristan. I think that that is what a lot of people think about trusted. And that's what he very much comes across as as somebody who just wants but he can't have exactly. It was kind of like in the first scene when when scott asking the question if they slept together and everybody's like yes. That's what we were wondering. It was kind of the same thing it was like. Yes lowey say what. We're all thinking you know not to be a pessimist and i'm hoping that that's not the case but i think that's a thought on everyone's mind like well. It does seem to be a trend that he works extra hard when they aren't together so you don't want him to get too comfortable like it's a very normal thought process and for her to say it out loud kind of normalize it and brings it into the orbit of the conversations. I was so glad she said that. Yeah it was an important question to pose them. Because i think a lot of the time it does feel like that and it does feel like okay. How can i just trust that. This isn't what he saying that he wants and then as soon as he gets it. It's like okay now. I want something else. Now it's onto the next thing. I think that it is very hard to know. That is probably the biggest unknown. And that is the one thing that you really can't know unless you're actually in his literally schrodinger like you will not know unless you open that box whether or not that is the case completely and i think that she's probably internally weighing whether or not it's worth to even open it and as we know ended up being but that's kind of what's going on in her head right and the last thing that i will say this i'm sorry. I know that we're kind of long winded today. But it's the finale. And i feel like we have to be and there's just so many things going through my head we can cut out extraneous things after I also feel like a lot of times. Women in heterosexual relationships can feel a little bit pressure to move more quickly in processing their emotions because of the sexual pressure from men. And i was really glad that that's not what was happening here. It seemed like she genuinely was taking her time to process it. And like sorry if you can't get your dick wet. Sorry to be graphic. But like i need to take my time and i have to do this. What what's right for me. Which i know should be national. But it's not. It's so so often when women will just make themselves be a little bit more comfortable because they feel quote guilty for making the guy. Wait which like as we know is a completely fucked up concept however. I was happy that that wasn't happening. Here yes and like of course you could argue because such a theme throughout this going on is the guilt that chloe feels that pressure that she feels a lot of it is pressure that she's putting ourselves just because she knows what tristan wants so there is that element there but it is definitely not the sexual element where she feels that pressure from that angle. It's kind of the entire package and listen. I think the thing with trust in is that. I know i said earlier in the episode but the ability to trust trust center move on from tristan or accept chloe's decision to get back with him. I think being able to understand that is more about understanding khloe than it is about understanding him giving khloe the benefit of the doubt than it is about giving it to him. So if you still feel weird about the euro okay. I kind of like them together. I understand he's doing. But i don't know how to move past this. I think that trusting close decision in that is just the only way to do that because you cannot say what you would do until you're to that exact situation right basically. This podcast is kind of just a therapy session to walk anybody through the feelings of wanting to be accepting but also having having doubts and second guessing it because of how protected you are khloe so just now you're not alone and hopefully these are helpful steps that have worked for us to get back with your ex. You cheated on you just because we're nice to trust at night he to your own thing. Yeah yeah let's let's make that very clear. Okay so final. Khloe interesting thing. They're the palm springs house. And i think she just is feeling good. They're kind of dancing. And i want to just read this because there's one line that's worth mentioning that we're going to get into scott she says. I think it's really good. That tristan and i talked about everything. It just makes me feel less guilty because one thing. I don't want to do to anybody i don't want to put anybody's life on pause zach using for treason iron a good place. We're going to be a family forever for together not will always be a part of my family just like scott just like how my dad was to my mom. That's just how we are. If you don't get it you don't have to. There's nothing that i need to add to that. Because what she said is exactly the most eloquent of appoint she made a thousand percent. Okay at break before we dive into. Scott yes ma'am. Are you sweating as much as i am. Wedding narrow sweating. This closet is fucking hot. But it's almost like me more excited about this. 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Plus free shipping on any create line with code cadence at kiko dot com. That's fifty percent off your first month at k. I w i. C o dot com promo code cadence. Oh a totally shifting gears here. we're now getting into an entire scott conversation. There was a lot here. This was their deep as well. I think a lot of points that are going to be excited to talk about. I love when we do this right after we watched the episode. Like i like that. We finished the episode. We had ten minutes to kind of regroup decide the order and then got into it. Because it's like. I'm bursting at the seams. I i know exactly how you feel like cannot wait to get into this. I'd telling you buy their processes little. We think through like okay if we had just finished the episode. It's nine pm at nine. O five pm we could listen to a podcast. What would we want to talk about a notch. Kind of how we frame it like. We try to put ourselves in the position of the listener. And so like this scoffing. I would be if i had podcast to break down after it would be so thrilled. That's why i'm really happy to be doing this. You know yes okay. So kim seen scott for the first time they're going to walk and in his confessional. He's kind of just saying you know he's getting crazy getting antsy. He didn't think he was going to be like this. And he says it's been an amazing break sitting around but the more and more. I watched the news on a hear about these tragedies. All think things are going to get worse than. I'm honestly starting to struggle with my own issues and at the time we've gotta stay cool and collected and be with our kids and raise our family and deal with home. Wants a lot. Which i think is very kind of Representative how a lot of people are feeling again. I i always say this. But it's just feel like we have to make every time. Of course i understand. They have a lot more amenities than your average person but still for him. He's feeling that ways. I mean mental health. Wise i think is taxing on everyone. Yeah i mean listen no matter who you are. If you're having thought processes that are not conducive to a healthy lifestyle or to being able to be with your kids and your family and it's affecting you to have to sit alone with those thoughts no matter who you are is going to affect you in some way or another. It's just neville yes. There are more resources. Yester- more you can do about it a hundred percent but sitting alone with those thoughts. It doesn't care who's headed isn't doesn't care if a district kardashian brand or in an average person's brain it's still going to be a difficult thing to do and it's something that so so many people struggled with and are obviously still struggling west because we're still in this situation. Yeah i mean. Sometimes the richest most famous people are the most depressed you know usually actually. Yeah no completely and the other point that i just wanna make. Because i don't think we said earlier. If you're thinking this i just want to acknowledge that we of course recognize or to like i understand that it feels a little bit hypocritical that they're coming off of khloe being so sick with it. They're also terrified of the illness or seeing the told they're taking on it and then we fast forward to now and kendall's having a massive birthday party don't think that the irony of that is not lost on us or the hypocrisy completely acknowledged that. See that as you know. We spoke at length about Kendall's birthday and how tone deaf it came across like. I just want acknowledge. We're not crazy and obviously recognize that. That was happening here. But it's like let's talk about scott because that's the episode absolutely okay so scott album house and we basically took what he said at the beginning of being there and then mid being. I'm going to read them both because you can really see like the kind of trajectory of his thought process so in the beginning he's there he's like you know being in his house is unbelievable. I like. I love the house that i got at home. There's no privacy with the paparazzi. Being in close quarters with sophia. Were definitely getting on each other's nerves. He says so being able to hear the water every night waking up and seeing the ocean. It's like a great getaway. It's really private. i'd like to live here to be honest k then fast forward a little bit more once. He's been there and he says you know i'm thinking is now houses. The perfect we have all the privacy in the world turns out. That's absolutely not true. Not true every day. I wake up paparazzi. They also on the beach. There's no privacy there in the front and the back of my house. I'm thinking it'll go away. They'll take their pitches. They'll be done. That was not. The case was super frustrating. And i kind of felt. Like i was going to blow up like i know i said a lot. Worst nightmare a worst nightmare can't even imagine especially when the sole purpose of you going there was to escape all of that on my god every time we do anything that involves pop routier like it reinforces. Why fame feels like the scariest thing ever. Yeah i mean it's a terrifying to may also. I don't know what i want to say about it. I don't even know if i have anything to say about it. Because we knew there were still together at that point but something about him saying being close quarters so feel were definitely getting on each other's nerves. I just want to highlight. I don't know the commentary i have. I don't know if you have any but it felt important. Highlight completely agree. I don't really know what to say about it. But it's definitely well i guess actually i do know what to say about it. I think it's that we have not really ever heard him voice any sort of upset narrow relationship. It's always been portrayed is perfect in a way well and also this season. She hasn't been mentioned once. Yeah which i think was a purposeful thing and again like you were saying earlier. This episode is a little bit more raw because they literally had to talk about the content. That was happening in their lives. 'cause there was nothing else to do exactly so accordion scott on facetime now and he's saying i was thinking. I know this whole kobe and staying in the house and no structure. It doesn't work for me is making me feel like i can't handle staying home not working. It's like recently been doing. Try to find things to do. A house in malibu trying to escape. Turn into a total shicho with the paparazzi. It's no sanctuary at all. And he said his confessional that he's just tired you know he's like i just wanted this time but i can't have any privacy i can't be myself it's ruined and he says the truth was i started feeling more and more anxious more and more depressed. I was going to do something bad. If i didn't figure it out or take myself out of this position. I think now's the time to work on it. And he says the courtney. I go to therapy every week. I never really have any breakthroughs. I don't feel happy. You know what i mean. I just ingred my parents correctly or given enough time. I just want to be the best person i can be for my family and a couple people told me about this. This is typically deals with past traumas. I just wanna learn how to deal with everything the right way. If you're having the kids and stuff and you're good with everything on for at least a month on my god check into cornish response. I know so we want to say don't we don't hold it in well. No i just want to say that. I can't help and i don't mean to but like i said earlier. It's really hard to be musings that personal ads. I can't help but view the warning signs for myself and for like other people that have been through this like this is an exact manifestation of can happen if you don't deal with that in alec doing the work so hard but it's so much harder when you didn't do it and then a catches up with you later on so it's like personally just a personal anecdote every time something like this happens with scott in makes me do a check in with myself like am. I grieving. My mom's loss properly. You know what i mean. And i think you can ever fully no but it's just a good reminder of like and it doesn't it's not even about loss just in general it's such a good reminder of why we need to deal with these things if we can while they're happening to us because it makes it so much harder once that sits for so much longer yeah of course and the thing was scott is that i think when scott was kind of his worse you know. His parents says a little bit leading up to it when he was kind of wild and crazy in miami with mason and that whole episode when he kind of went away the first time after his parent's death the thing that scott always did was that he always just was busy busy busy he was always with people who is always having like some sort of simulation so that he didn't have to deal with what was going on and i think even after that fact when he really got right in really fixed himself and really grew into the person he wanted to be and the dad that he wanted to be i think even then he was still going going going. It was just a different way and it was just different schedule in different thing he was doing different maybe probably better people that he was surrounding himself. But there was still a distraction. And i think this is the first time in a lot of years. That scott has just been alone with nothing and i think that he probably thought that he was in such a better place and then it hit him when he just he had nothing else going on and he's sitting there alone all of this and it's like okay all the stuff that i realize they didn't do. Maybe i wouldn't have rise that if i didn't have this moment to just stop and breathe exactly. It's a very clear knowledgeable and this happens a lot with people where they think that because they're able to do things they're in such a good place like look. I was able to flip that house. Look i was able to do. X y and z these business. I must be in a good place. And they don't realize that. It's actually serving as a distraction so yes not to take away from the accomplishment of doing that thing however a much harder task would have been not doing it because then you had been forced to be with your thoughts and that's exactly what's happening for him here. He's having like a harsh awakening to the fact that a lot of what he was doing was serving as a distraction and at the time he didn't view it that way and i think there are a lot a lot of tangible examples of scots growth and the person that he's turned into in how different he is non more than the fact that without being prompted without being told without being asked to. He said i'm going to get help before this turns into anything. Beautifully said exactly which according says. Now in her confessional. She says i'm a little cough. Or i'm a little caught off guard. You know because for the first time. Scott isn't being asked to go away. He's not having an issue with alcohol or drugs and it's like his idea so i think it feels really different. I want him to be the best that he can. Listen to this line for my kids and for himself and for me and so i'm more than happy to support him in any way that i can this time. I think that's really bringing up an important work that we all have to do. I have one thing to say before we move on. Obviously the way that we were taught and before i even say this point i know they're not still together like i know they have not fully officially got back together. I know that they may never bought the same way that we were talking about. Chloe interested in how. I think that quarantine had to happen for their relationships. They were going to get back together because it allowed khloe to see trust than step up in a different way and step up for her when she was sick and you'll baton. That was kind of one of the things we said we were like. Okay think this really allowed khloe to see the person actress in is. I think that courtney had any reservations about getting back with scott. I think the fact that he took this into his own hands and stopped in did what he needed to do. Took those reservations away from courtney. Not that they're back together. But i think that if they were to get back together now i think that's that courtney would site as a reason that she knew for sure she was going to be able to do this. Yes yes yes yes. Yes so shoe. So he says. I'm sad that like i'll have to tell the kids leaving in self which makes me anxious. And in his confessional. He says i'm definitely anxious nervous to go to a place in break my head open and work on things but i've been in a tree facility before i know is going to be difficult. I know it's going to be a lot of pain before. There's pleasure but it's something i have to do. And she says you really wanna go knock because you just came off the bench from drinking. I feel like it's the first time where you just want to work on yourself. And he says yeah. I wanna get to. The root of every problem is still frustrates. Me and i want to get past it. And she says i'm really proud of you. Yeah i feel like scott wages entire life for coordinated am proud of him and so every time she does is just. It's like we all let out a collective sigh. That is such a good point. Yes you know a hundred percent. I feel like that's exactly like all all never wanted to do was make her proud even if they're not together he he just wants to be proud of the person who's become and this was her giving it to him as much as he was given to her what she needed to get back to the other so valium literally going to explode now. I can't like just wait till we get to that last thing i texted you and i was like forty fifty. Six times tampa. I always actually. You're going to pass out going to pass out. Oh my god okay. let's going so this is when the mood of the episode of really shifts and this is also what i was trying to say the beginning when i was saying you know there were two different things happening here and what i'm about to mention goes into something we saw in the news. We saw it happen everywhere and now we're really getting behind the scenes. Look so you is no. This is when scott went to the facility and it got leaked and so kim corny to ask if it's true and in her confession she said i heard about going to rehab. I seeing it online in a looks like someone leaked a photo of him according says he said he's never been more betrayed in his life and he's packing up and he's definitely coming home but he's really upset about it especially when he was actually going to work on himself and his traumas and obviously they agree that he should be filing a lawsuit which to me. Let's just wait till the next to really talk about. I was so mad. I got infuriated. All over again livid yes livid it's like you don't have to like scott you could fucking hate the kardashians. If you have any ounce of humanity inside of you can understand how much of a violation of trust. This wasn't how absolutely damaging disgusting and inexcusable. Entire situation was the it really was it was. Oh my god i. It's like hit me all over again. Because the first time. I was so upset but then even now just in the context of him trying to get away and be away from the paparazzi in just one moment to himself to be able to process everything then he goes away to try really got right and for that to just be issue all over again in a place where he thought for sure he was safe is just. It's fucking infuriating infuriating. Exactly so they're on this family zoom and. It's khloe scott chris robin kim and chris just saying terrible it is scott says i was there four or five days in quarantine. I was about to start my therapy for pass trauma for my family. And even the split by the way holy shit that was and raising kids co-parenting and all the things that i deal with that moment. Courtney texted me called me and sent me all the articles of the leak. No idea it was obviously a clear that someone leaked me. Being there to the press in there couldn't have been a bigger retrial can go you went for trauma and they're literally giving you trauma. Scott says i left. I was like i don't trust anybody here. I don't feel safe and that was it. I got the fuck out of there was obviously very hurtful that there's nine hundred articles that are saying i was there for cocaine and alcohol. A whole name is getting slandered across every news outlet. I'm not usually when the cares about it but it's not cool. I have three children. I don't need my son to say that and kim's kind of asking what the plan is if you know you wanna go somewhere else. Clearly he was there for a reason and he says i mean at this point. I'm so turned off by going places because there's always a same fucking schick. And his confessional. He says i thought getting wayne going to a facility would be the best thing i could get outta my own way shutdown regroup go over everything in a safe place safe environment and other that was betrayed in the last thing i wanna do is repack my bags and go to another place to have this happen to be possibly again so even though it's terrible that you can't have contact and going here therapist right now i'm just gonna have to deal with it like that and have supported some good people around me this is it is like oh my god this is it's it's so it's so so so upsetting like talk about. We were saying earlier with being celebrity in already. Having that lack of trust this is on a massive scale. I mean think about any normal person what you talk about with your therapist and thence you the other element which i think would he said of like. I'm not normally want to care about things being said about me. It's like yeah because scott's realistic truth things that are being said about him. he doesn't care. I don't think he cares when he gets called a womanizer or seeing all these different women because at the time he was doing that. Or when they're talking about his issue yeah. He was having an issue with alcohol and drugs. Ready like at least you can be honest with you. But that wasn't what was happening here. This was coming from a place just wanting to deal with things that you recognize where affecting him and he couldn't even have the freedom to do. I swear to you is a on. I period. I started crying. I talked to julie. i'm crying watching this. Cause i'm having such like secondhand upset. I can't imagine what is like what i said to her. You know what it takes to get to the point where you want to confront this shit head on it so hard. It is so hard and when you finally find it in yourself to do it than to have that taken from you it made me wanna like Like i know you wanna like throwing ends at the person who did this. No i know exactly how you feel. An i mean everything you just said a million times more but also masons now at a age where you can't hide things from him anymore. He's honest phone. He's on tiktok. he's on twitter. Probably these facebook posts like this is all stuff that he is going to absorb. He's not the one absorbing at one of his friends are and it must be really frustrating to have to worry and think about every single thing. Your kid is possibly going to see especially when it's not true and especially when they're in an age where you can't really say to mason at ten years old and explain to him the fact that this isn't true but people think it was true because it was at one time that's a really young age to be able to understand really complex things like that so for scott who is doing the right thing and being just the best version of himself and being able to be proud of that he then has to that his son is going to think something otherwise and that is also such terrible fucking part. Because it's one thing to have your trust betrayed in the worst possible way but then to do that and to lie blatantly about it is just it adds a whole other layer. It's a whole other layer. There's there's like ten different elements here right. There's the betrayal. There's a thing with his kids and there's a thing because of his kids the faint like it would suck regardless if he was or wasn't famous but then on top of that the world perception like there's just so many things and i just like a few. Were watching this. And your so mad. Especially if you're somebody who works in this type of setting you understand the confidentiality measures go into plays like i just want you to know fucking feel you. We both did. We were so mad about this. It angered us all over again. And like it's just so not okay. It is so far from over there because listen when you're a celebrity specifically a crashing again. There are certain things you sign up for their certain things that are going to be on blast for the public to see. This is not one of them. It's just not fair game. It's nine even a little bit so while they're on zoom after they kind of talk about that. They're saying it's his birthday what they do and obviously they can't really go anywhere they are talking about. No buddhist you're so funny. How like a there. I go to you know. Oh my god because what else would you get. Scott other than no ville. It's good to have a scott birthday. Were not who isn't involved. How one with rob did you feel when he was like you know that i need that creamy rockstar. But i was like. I so feel you because that roster orgasmic. I think i came the first time i had it. I think so too. We have to go back. I know i know. So after all being quarantine separately they get together at scott's house and it's usually sweet travis and stormy on there and the kids are all they're playing together and this is like the best reward to the end of this episode. Holy shit okay. So comes as like the elephant in the room. The photo you guys posted in our group scott's like we're going to be number four. Is that a joke or is that serious. I wanna know the way on passing out like this isn't happening. And i'm like oh i got i got and chloe goes. Are you really having a baby. No and start joking like pushing her stomach out but honestly kind of convincing me for a second and kim goes on never forget sting told me parents for the most in lane people. It's ten times better than one to his madness. Three seasons at any just brings it altogether in a calm and chris goes well. Let's just get it on a damn minute. Julie can i would. I honestly thought. Yeah there was a piece of me of the smallest little teeny ass- piece of me. That was like imagine if she was actually pregnant and that was their way of telling us like they had kept the baby. The seat read the whole time. And this was their way of telling us the smallest highness. Most miniscule piece of me. But i can't lie. Pretend it wasn't there. I am so comforted ungrateful that you just said that because it trend with us that i tip typically sent tend to be the more like optimistic gullible one so i didn't think so either but there was a piece of me and i didn't think there would be a piece of you i get. It was like one percent but it was there. So thank you for acknowledging. I feel very seen right now. I was like. Oh my guy was that doo-wop true like are they going to announce it in in the finale. Like i m sitting there like with bated breath you know what i mean like. I didn't think it. But oh god. I was praying so hard enough that i almost started to. Oh my god. I cannot handle like a. I feel like what happened with me. Is that i for my own sanity. Moved on from this idea okay. He's with he's with sofia. she's doing her own thing. Like i can move on from this idea of them being together and now that that idea is back in play i feel like i'm just making up for lost time. I feel like i'm recovering. All my basis. They you already hit when you thought there were so getting back together. When he was with sophia. I feel like i just i can't handle. I don't know what to do about it because i need them to be back together. And it's like i know them it's like it's i'm in this relationship i know and by the way it's not like the rest of the family is making it easy on us because everybody's playing into it. Everybody knows that the entire world is rooting for this. They're kinda just feeding into it but clearly if it was so far gone if there was no announce that nobody would even mention it like. I definitely think that some sort of a romantic rekindle reconditioning either already happening. Or there's possibility for tap and because the way they're talking about it is just different. There have been times when they've never even joked about it because it was so far gone. I think we can at least agree. It's not so far gone right now regardless of what camp you're in in terms of whether or not it's happening. I think you can agree. It's far gone and the second thing is join. I really try not to talk with us right before we started recording. I just blurted out this one thought. I really do think that if they were ever to have another kid. There's no way they're having with anyone else. I think if they went into any other relationship it would have to be very clear. Element of like this is just got. I don't know if this is true. Like i just want you to know if having children with me is important to you. That's going to happen. Like i don't believe that if they have another child It will be with anyone but each other. That's just my gut feeling on it. What i think too. And i think we've had that conversation before. That is exactly what i think. I don't think they would do it with anybody else. And i had one other point to make a now. i can't remember it. I'm so upset. Drop them back to you. Maybe but i am. We end the see inquiries on that. Mechanical bull and scott goes ride. That thing like it's trysted and you see waving his arm. And i'm like what an end to the spinelli like. This is everything i could ever wanted. Probably ever flaked. Definitely ever. I know of i thought was going to be. I know i get remember it to say it. Because i think that a piece of iran was like that's fucked up and say it but i do want to know if i can get in touch with both sky and courtney's therapists ambulance lesson. I don't wanna get you involved in their thing. It's not my business but if you could just urge them in the right direction i would really appreciate it my god. I know it's like the one time it's like so it's so funny. 'cause throughout this episode like absolutely so infuriated that this person violated hipaa in terms of and then also you so badly wanna violate hip to understand what they're saying in their therapist so not under heavy. You'll have to tell you what they're saying. There are people you could just slide them in the middle of the session. That would be really appreciate ed. Be a pleasure doing business with you. Know i it's the i mean when i tell you that never in my life have. I wanted them together more that i want it now. It is consuming every single piece of me. And you guys i say this so much collective manifestation if you are on the team if you're not i'm not gonna try to convince you that's long gone but if you are collected manifestation i feel like this is one. We're all collective. Because every single time. I see tiktok about the two of them getting back together. It has like hundreds of thousands of lives every single if you look at the comments on their pictures. All of them are like that to everyone. I think everyone collectively wants them back. Together it's really nice. When there's a sense of internet camry about like with everybody agreeing you know what i mean. I love internet camaraderie. Its favorite thing in the world. I know but it happens a lot. Where like everybody's talking about the same thing but not everybody's in agreement for example the election but like wisconsin coordinator right. It is very. It's not completely one-sided. But i think more people want them than don't want them just even for the sake of a fairytale ending. Imagine what it'll be like it when they like post one of them kissing the internet will go. I think it would break. I think that we would. When i talk when i say emergency episode like Ju i i just got anxious thinking about it like i started to get butterflies. You realize how quickly we'd have to get on this fucking recording we would be. We would be it. Would it would be no time would pass. We wouldn't even plan the opposite. We would get on sarah raw feelings. Yeah that's that's what we would have to do. Honestly you're so right. Oh my god. Wow i honestly our luck. This will happen both getting a manicure. This is why we don't get managers at the same time. And why i know where you go to get your so i'll just call them and go back tomorrow. Exactly anything you wanna add. No i think. I definitely got it all out. Yeah that was amazing So i guess this is it for you know this season. We of course have one more season. I don't know what we're gonna do. I don't know if next week the bonus show. we're going to go back to doing previous seasons. I don't know if we're going to do a deep dive. I don't know if we're gonna take a break from using the bonus show as a car dashing bonus show and maybe do some interviews. I really don't know we're trying to work through things You know when you agree to having three episodes a week like we have to have three episodes a week. That's kind of what we scheduled which obviously were so grateful to do but we should figure out how we wanna do it because especially now that bravo's moving to friday's while southern amazon like we can move the kardashian. Bona shows to wednesday spread out the episodes a little more and do it either that or on something different. Send your suggestions send us an email or dm on other things you'd want to talk about Working on different directions. And i don't know. I'm just really happy to have this platform. It's pretty incredible me to kid. Me fucking to okay. Well we love. You is thank you for listening as always and again like listening is the greatest gift you could give us. However if you feel a little bit Generous and you want to leave an ice review. It really really does help us and we genuinely appreciate it but no pressure. I also think that we may be set to subscribe like five times. They just always forget. But i think you're supposed to say that when you have a podcast so if you wanna subscribe i only say that because a lotta times people message us when we post a swipe. It's not there for me yet. But i think if you subscribe it. It downloads immediately. So i guess that's more of an incentive but we're just really grateful and thank you guys do love you so much is i'll see you on friday.
188: The One With Bruno: Friday, November 13th, 2020
"Good morning we'll ideals. Welcome back to the morning toast. Happy for day. friday. Gotta get down on friday. It is obviously friday which is normally like a super joyous occasion but we are being blessed in the studio with the presence of bruno. Bruno sweets this year. First time ever. I said i was going to try and bring him this week and then it was friday and i was like i'm a woman of my word and bruno. Let's go. it's really hard. Like i do not envy. We used to have this with theo. Running around the pooping. It's a fulltime job. When you're literally trying to do your fulltime job right. He got here he needed to. I could tell he was about to go right. You know right where. Theo looked back at it. Yeah she's right between our feet. So i took him over yonder. I put down a paper towel. I was like. Let's see how smart guy is right on the paper towel right in the trash and now he's like he's he's as good as you can ask for a puppy. I did like now need to kill myself because stepped on his foot. Yeah with my big fucking boots and he was just like. I didn't even know he was behind me now. I'm sorry i have to die. So this will be my last show. I know he really gets underfoot and tight little yellow to me so many times that i don't fall you that little yelp though like sends me to a dark place a and you know what i feel like one day. It'll happen to him so when it actually really hurts so bad and he'll learn something from it and he'll stop getting under you know that's see that's the difference and this is what we always say we love feels so much like it is frustrating to love something so much and they can really never tell you that they love you back or speak or learn and it's frustrating and that's the difference between like the love you have for a baby and the love you have for a dog. It's like the baby eventually learns to grow up and like the dog just doesn't yet but he learned some things like the genius. He became a doctor and he can't even you know technically communicate with a patient right and he has no borders. No he has no borders. He's such a great man. I mean it's. It's a shame that in order for bruno to be here at meant that theo had to take the day off especially considering he stole the show. Yesterday we had no. He got a haircut last night. Just for today's show canadian. If we brought both of the dogs it would have been pandemonium. But you know what one day. They'll be in a place where they can do that. We'll just have like our whole litter here at the show. Maybe knowles will be coming up. And that's been our dream yet. Has sautes obviously exciting for a multitude of reasons bruno friday but also we are able to not announced quite yet but give you a little sneak peek at our holiday collection. Which is coming and you will have your items in time for the holidays. I'm just taking a sip of my coffee. Aka diet pepsi from our new toasty mug. That's claudia that's beautiful text messages for my new phone case. I haven't had a phone case in months. I'm literally so excited about this monkeys. And maybe i'll send some texts from your phone to claudia. Ou smooth phone cases and we're really excited. We have new sweatshirt the accessory coming. I'll take my phone mcmahon. Really exciting stuff so make sure you are just keeping up with the toast on instagram. And listening to the podcast to find out when you can get your merch and how long will show you the exclusives. That's just a little taste. We wanted to give you a taste because we've been seeing so many comments of people you're here until we know it's on the way there's a taste. Wet your whistle. We are all over it just like we're all over everything like the fast five stories. Today we have keeping up with the kardashians southern charm. Recaps coming at to you. The season finale of keeping up with the kardashians last night was such a pleasure watching two episodes of good television. And then having the night to myself. I actually started a book which i haven't read a book. That's not the redheads since mariah carey. But still that's been like a month You know. I really hadn't it right until that. I'm reading my new. My second favorite author. I said last night on the inscription author. But she's my second favorite. Because my first it's cloudy ashtray. Oh yes did i not mention that. I'm a published author starting january twenty six twenty twenty one Usually it's like drake great jag. He's talking about books again. Like i could just like days. But now i'm like oh an opportunity for me to promote my book curl with no job. The crazy beautiful life of an instagram thirst monster now. Available at many many retailers like barnes and noble amazon tons of places audiobooks are available for preorder e. Books are available for preorder and really appreciate all the possible preorders. Because i have a goal. And i know a lot of people have goals when it comes to books. Mine is to get into the airport because i just feel like. That's a chic aesthetic. And i can't really get into the airport. I think they have like lots of preorders. Because we're like. Oh my god this girl. she's so popular. If still famous we gotta put her hudson news or msnbc store. So i need you guys just to head over to grow with no job dot com slash book or tepl lincoln my bio on instagram tons of retailers canadian. Toasters got guys to. Maybe i can get to the canadian. Airports all the links are in the lincoln. My buyout checkout dink's. I'm done promoting for the day very very. Good so yeah. I'm just so excited that it's friday me to been. It's been a big week. yes it's been. It's been a tough one. i'm not gonna lie. I just feel like at this point. Like being alive tough. It is so i can't really say that the there was anything different or particularly challenging about this week but just life man. It's fucking hard. It is but i have bruno suites in my life. Now and he has just been like the biggest blushing. It's it's so wonderful so much work like knock on the why so my whole life is changed. But it's worth every minute and that does go away like it's just so important to keep that in mind when it's like the puppy months and you're like oh my god like i need to give this dog up like just always keep in mind like the tufts the that goes away. And that's easy for me to remember. Because i see theo and like this is a perfect man. This is what's possible. This is a dream so it's a perfect man. He also like even though he's a puppy and he is energy and this and that he can be annoying sometimes like he's really the best thing he's the sweetest sweetest thing. That's why we called bruno suites. I call them bruno cossio. Cortez i don't know why but just as we say. Balloon sweets knit spread of chairman dot co l. vets go dot co dot co coach. That's where i'm going with the nickname and that's not on. He's named after all the nits spread. So flavors right and that's why it's inspired meal stretch it really dot. Co is my favorite and it spread so flavor This bresso miss bresso. Oh my gosh. She's burrowing i'm sorry he was peeing on your. I'm sorry if he's making a lot of noise today guys like this is. I won't bring him again for a while but i said i'm bringing this week. People were asking and woman for work. I didn't to let people down. You know that's not what we do. Here we lift people up and if you're listening to podcast in bruno's bothering you then head over to youtube because then the noises will match with the actions. Yeah he's speaking so cute. It's hard to even be upset. It is hard to be upset. But we don't worry. I'll get there little getting. Can you hear him like just for his beliefs. Stick always totally fine. He's the sweetest thing. We've a great show. We do anything we should get right into it. Because i like never seen his mother at work before while he's going to be like so proud of you. I hope so. I hope i can make you proud so without further m. i'm ready. Fogging up off without further ado timer the stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast and we have a brand new sponsor today which i'm very excited about. Because the sponsor of this episode is insert name also known as i n h hair a female founded. La harebrained brand specializing in ponytail extensions. Hot tools wigs and general hair amazingness. I wore a bunch of their clips. Actually on the show yesterday scanning they make everything like start to finish and this is literally not even in my notes. But you know we're obsessed with like palm aids and products that got our flyaways away. 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I n h hair dot com. Check it out love it. Sign-on get great hair. Great hair first story big story of the day the weekend is set to headline the two thousand twenty one super bowl halftime show. He says i'm humbled honored and ecstatic. The new struck yesterday that the weekend will be headlining. The halftime show at the super bowl. Lv i think that's fifty five on february seventh in tampa bay florida. So we'll get to whether or not we think this is a good selection but i just have to say i thought that the the announcement for this was like so low key and weird like. He posted a picture on his instagram. Like there was no like hype. I feel like usually this time last year. We're always talking about like it's going to be announced. And there's articles written like top five choices. There was no hyper buzz around this. And then like i saw him on instagram. Madonna got hacked by like a pepsi sponsor. It was just. It was very bizarre marketing. Got it. I heard the news from zack. Like he saw it on his phone and then told me so. I didn't have to deal with the way that it was delivered to me. But yeah i do agree. It was very low. Fanfare quiet pretty quiet. And i'm curious to hear what you think about the choice. I think the weekend is an amazing artist. I wouldn't have chosen him for the super bowl just based on what we what. The criteria usual criteria for the super bowl. Which is like albums and albums of an catalogs of music an artist that sort of bridges rations. I think that he's an amazing talent. I think a lot of people will be blown away by the show that he does put on. But i do think that there are some people who might not even know who he is. That's possible but i do want to say like that criteria that the super bowl has had for like years is they're running out of people like beyonce. He's literally done it like five times. In the last ten years coldplay bruno mars like they are running out of people so like their criteria is actually really strict like and they don't know how long they go on many artists that bridge generation and have catalogs and catalogs of music so now they're choosing contemporary artists that i personally think have the talent and the chops to entertain everyone. Yes even if you didn't know this person or their music. Before i mean i think he has so many hits that will render ring a bell for people. But even if you weren't like a major fan before you will become one and i actually do think that there's tons of like people listening to the weekend but his music style and sound. I can't feel my face. it's very like michael jackson. I actually think blinding lights is like an amazing saw. And it's very. It's it's universal area but it's universal. So i actually think this is a very good choice. I also think like given the year. We're coming off of especially with so much controversy in the nfl have a black performer. Is wonderful. so i actually. I wouldn't have ever chose him. But i'm not mad about it. I'm not mad about it. I was definitely surprised by the choice. But the more that i think about it. I think it's like a new direction with reading. Neither the halftime show. Which is. I'm always here for a new direction. Yeah and i'm always here for the new direction and you know what direction wants to come on the weekend. Imagine and if the glee club wants the different with different teacher. Other than mr shoe well can. I just say that this happened and usually do bring on like a second act. I think it should be the weekend and the new directions. I mean honestly like at the peak of glee the fact that like they never did. The halftime show like it would have been kind of they bridge generations. They sing songs from all different decades. I actually think like all jokes. Aside at the height of glazed fame. They had come on tour. They had come on. It wouldn't have been crazy. But i'm not like shocked. That number that connick truly. But can i just say like earlier in the week. We reported that. Matthew morrison is going to be the grinch on the nbc's really of the grandch- blah blah and while the news was obviously devastating for us in the matthew. Martin is a war criminal. Fan club Can i just say the content like that's now being pushed around because he's back in. The news is so funny and people are just like tagging me like matthew morrison is being cringe talks so while i'm upset that he is going to ruin christmas. I'm actually glad because it brought us all this content right and it's really bringing the matthew marsden haters together. We are strong united front of people reach out to me. Just saying you know can't really talk about this with any of my friends and just like hearing you on. The podcast made me feel less alone. And just that's what i always want to be for. People is a voice for the voiceless. Yeah that's beautiful we are. Yeah so. I wonder sorry if all the backlash on matthew marsden being announced the grinch has made nbc reconsider new. I think there's already like a trailer out for it gets how it's too late. It's too late sucks. But i think it's good for them to like you know there are people are talking. That's true and so that's always it's always want what you want like people are talking about the weekend and i think it'll be exciting and also i'm going to assume that he's going to bring some at least one other person or artist or group out. Who does collapse with like on his songs. They have one song eternal. But that's on a rally but you never know no that'd be cool are ever done. No that's weird. Yeah but she's another one. Who's like i could see her one day doing it but i think right now it would be a very contemporary choice. See no i think. Maybe that's the problem that they have and like oriented. Grenade should be the one to do it. She's the biggest popstar in the world so she doesn't fit their criteria. Like your criteria sucks like make some changes. And i actually think that they are but they're only so many lady gaga is there only so many beyond say's bruno mars once in once in a generation and who also happen to have like pop music. Don't do it. everyone would be crying. Like yeah delays. About to michelob for it. No what do you think about this news. He's like my namesake bruno. Mars should be there. I mean again. If bruno mars did it every year like i would literally be the biggest fan of football not totally but the weekend put out a statement saying we all grow up watching the world's biggest acts playing the super bowl and one can only dream of being in that position i'm humbled honored and ecstatic to be the center of that infamous stage this year. So beautiful beautiful. That's very well. also jay z. Who was tasked by the nfl. With advising on musical events said in a press release. The weekend has found all his own. His soulful uniqueness has defined a new generation of greatness in music artistry. This is an extraordinary moment in time and the pepsi super bowl. Lv halftime show. Louis vitton halftime show is going to be an extraordinary experience with an extraordinary performer. Facts you know what i just thought. Why does the super bowl halftime performer have to be pop. If you think of like the demographic of people who watch football in america like probably a majority country music fans more so than pop and you know. Now that i'm thinking about it. I know isolate him for everything but like luke. Homes should be the halftime performer. Like that actually makes sense. Yeah no it's weird that country performer in a while. But i wouldn't in the blowfish. Yeah that's true. look. I'm just thinking like we were very there are other genres like they do hip hop. They do rock. You know we had a chilly. They do everything except country that yeah it would appear as though but then carrie underwood's things you like to. Oh sunday now. Oh selena stout clapping. Got a real good feeling at to happen. Who des beaux. send him. he'll that about to happen. Such good commercials. What is your meeting. Loosening beautiful sunday. Okay we're done other. I think this is a good choice. This this is always this time of year where we're selecting and talking about this always makes for interesting conversation and it's interesting to see what has happened in the last year. Because i think last year we are emigrant. They would be great and this year like she would be great too. Yeah but i also. Yeah i think it would be great. I think she'll probably do it one day. But you know what just like san francisco like this is not her year sounder ear Next story as me. Real house of newark star. Ramona singer is getting a new job. This is actually very exciting. He's biting crazy pants. he's going crazy. Ramona singer is moving on from brandon. Premo radio and skin care to selling high end real estate. The bubbly blonde is setting for her new york. Real estate license source told gimme shelter. She doesn't have it yet but when she does. She's slated to join michael star team at douglas element so i know a lot of people probably confused why she's getting a job and we estate. She's a reality star. But i think most people who watch the show can agree. That ramona's time is almost up and the show has been her life for so long when you watch these in one. She had a successful business like re selling wholesale discounted whatever. She had like some job in fashion. She had her own business and it was actually quite successful and she obviously has stopped doing that in the show became her life and i think her income is one hundred percent reliant on the show and that's a very vulnerable place to be in because i do think her time is up so her having a job. She's very personable. she's a she's a gal about town. I actually think this is a great job for her and very smart of her to be forward thinking about what happens after housewives. Yes and i think she's going to be an amazing real estate agent. I always say like you always. You always say the were the job. You'd be worst out in this world i think for me would be a real estate agent for ramona. She so personable she. Actually you know she appreciates real estate. She's always talking about houses and showing off her friends houses. I think she'll be perfect at this but it also think it's a good story line for her on the show. I don't know if she's planning polls show life. She's also sixteen volunteers. Six now true. She could retire bruno. Looks like he's about to do some business. Oh his circling going to be. Oh god should. I go deal with him. Do you wanna go rhino. Maybe it's time for a song hundred ends up to the sky. We get toes to tune that the know what song really actually into is blue. Burt bluebird by miranda lambert has ago and the house just keeps on winning. I gotta wildcard amass leave and if love keeps giving me lemons i just mix amendment iraq. Sorry claudia that's beautiful. Yeah no. I found a little I've put him in the put them in the closet. Okay no. I put me in the kitchen crying. He's crying spectrum singer actually think this is great for her. Like it just makes a lotta sense. Some people are born for certain jobs. And i think we're gonna singer was meant to be like a real estate tycoon. I totally agree. I could just see her padding around. She should be on selling sunset next if this doesn't work out Actually don't think ramona could like cut. It could compete. Yeah i don't know. I don't know about her. Never underestimate ramona singer. Never do it okay. Next story some exciting news. You can rent the bachelor mansion on airbnb for six thousand dollars. A night i saw. That's kind of shocking. Yeah well it's. It's always shocking to me when i remember that. Abc actually doesn't is house. They rent it every year for a certain amount of months from like a family who owns it. It's like a nice family. Yes home is called the villa de la vina. It's known on the show is bachelor mansion. Use the as a primary location for filming the bachelor and the bachelorette but due to the coronavirus pandemic. Neither show is using the mansion right now. Instead they're filming at la to resort in palm springs. California i guess opening it up to people renting it also mack jeans. Upcoming season of the bachelor is currently underway and is rumored to be located in pennsylvania. I wonder where they're filming me. Nema colon did see that a lot of bachelor people were there but nicole. Oh yeah that's what. I just clicked the hyper lincoln reality. Steve is saying that they have been posting about nima colin woodland's resort which they went to israel house is a potomac also and it looks incredibly beautiful and i look forward to a change of scenery from leukemia. But pennsylvania does seem like a random choice. i wonder why they wouldn't fill in the entire season at bachelor mansion. Yeah i mean. It's i mean it's it's so small the where do you do the. There's no driveway. Yeah i don't know that's that's very true. I mean this is pretty cool. Six thousand dollars. A night seems pretty steep yet. But that's probably like a fun thing funding to do with your friends like a bachelorette party bachelor mansion. Totally sixteen girls. What's six thousand hundred sixteen like if you if you like a bachelorette party okay. I'm doing it on my phone a little quick math with my new phone case. Three hundred seventy five dollars a night per per se. We'll go we'll go two nights seven fifty per person for two nights at the bachelor mansion. You can also have like thirty people. Because that's what they start with the crew. No end the bedrooms. In backtra mansion have bugged bins like. It's literally built for a house for fifty people we could do like camp does bachelor ranch. Good idea really funny. We should go. God burn fucking bite me. oh yeah. He's crazy pantai sweets during this week on a seat says the speed is man man bruno sweets. Oh bruce his outfit today. He did his anti okay. He's just like his no no no he. He does bite a lot. I don't know what to do with magnolia. Did and so did the what's very normal. But because his teeth are like little baby teeth they don't actually hurt. Got one of the caps of my coffee cup. Let's say oh yeah there it is bruno. Y'all just pray for us today. It's a busy day. Let's let's maybe keep moving. I'm thinking about this. i'm trying okay. Next up lamar odom and sabrina. Par have reunited to celebrate the one year anniversary of their engagement. So it's like not. How breakup work mars splitting so. Two of them are spending time together one week after announcing that she had broken off their engagement on wednesday night. She posted a selfie with lamar kissing her cheek. On instagram stories writing in the caption made it in time to celebrate our one year engagement anniversary. I'm going to take this to mean that they're back together Which i'm happy about happy abou- but like the concerns that she had raised if he just a few days ago. Yeah she said she said something. Hold on where's the quote. She said y'all know him. Honest and transparent so i have to be the first let you guys know. Oh sorry. that's the last one. She was no longer engaged to lamar. She said something about like people. Expect you to do something you don't always have to do. What like people expect you to do something. Like that was what that i got so no i mean i'm i'm happy for them. I really am but like it. Seemed like there were some really legitimate concerns coming from her merely a week ago. Yeah and i just wanna know like we're all the problems fixed. This is what she said. I know society pushes us to walk away from everyone and everything that hurts us but the truth is some things are worth staying for. I agree i mean lamar is a john. He's honestly like the president of pge i'm nation. Yeah and he deserves the best the fact that he's just like not sleeping alone makes me happy. You know yes. I agree and i feel like that quote also applies to khloe interested in which we'll talk about actions recap but you know. Sometimes things are what they are and you just have to accept them. Speaking of tumultuous relationships a little update on carl went the celebrity pastors. Alleged lover is obsessed with asked us to talk about this story a number of times this week and finally today had bruno. I was overwhelmed. I couldn't find a fifth story antics of my owner ability and she got me to report on the story. Well i just can't believe the mistress is very thirsty. Like she's speaking directly to paychecks. Not even like a lawyer like this is her moment and she's gonna shine yes so she's talking to each six. She says i was a drug to him. She's talking about their five month. Pandemic romance and the hypocrisy of a man who she said was unable to practice what he preached. she said. I'm here to tell the truth and maybe by doing that other people will have the courage to speak up to. She said that she was with her dog looking for somewhere to sit when lens offered her his circle at eight. Hark got to talking. They left the park together. I was telling him everything she said. I thought he single. He's a good looking man. Why not they parted ways but he took her phone number in the notes app on his iphone. Detail that i actually not. That's what i'm saying. She's just like really putting it all out there. She said the notes thing for her was a red flag. I guess because it should have been in his phone. She said the next day he asked her to save him a circle in the park. Okay so blah blah blah. The two of them got together. I thought was really interesting. Was that like the first time. They hung out like in private in her apartment. She said he was like really nervous. Like giving off like teenage virgin vibes which is just like so me and it's just like really mean verde that she like honestly to me. What's so weird about this. Whole story is like carlin's was a part of this institution where it's like. They protect their very private and secretive. And i can't believe he would just meet a stranger in the park and just like have sex with her leno so messy no one hundred percent. That's not what. I would have expected from him either so i just feel like there's no good way to have an affair but when you're part of like a mega church that is in the news a lot and like you're very protective and you're you know they're very closed off. I was just found it shocking that he would be so lazy. Yeah find someone in the church. Someone who has don't cheat on your wife but if you're gonna toby dumb yeah new. I feel that. So that's what. I want to talk about it now. Because i'm obsessed with carlin or anything. She is no. I'm one hundred percent with them yet. No this story is just really crazy. I feel like every day. There's something new. He had just sold his house. And that and also i think maybe why i find it. So interesting is because i'm fascinated with people who are famous for like. We had this conversation a lot for their job. Yes and it's just not everyday that there's like famous pastors. I mean i guess actually joel. Osteen is famous and tony robbins yet. Well he's not pastor. I don't think motivational speaker. But maybe also like What's that guy's name pastor dan from Raising helen he was a good passer. He loves it at passer from filthy rich. Yeah right so. I just think it's interesting. Like when people get famous for their jobs and carlin's is one of those people and famous a double edged sword my friend. Yes when you're hanging out with justin bieber the other lady in the park selling your house Was that our fifth and final story. So now we can do tv. Recap jim excited about because both great show. Yes i think. Let's start with keeping up with the kardashians on i Season finale bittersweet. Even though it wasn't an amazing season it was just bitter sweet. Because i know what's coming what's coming the final season like yes. We're moving now. We can say like the next season. The upcoming season of kardashians is the final. And that's just sad. I know in this season was so short. They always are short there like this one. It was short but it also with that break in the middle. Remember actually been long. I guess but it's just so strange. How the court we. So many his billy stick the of course hold on sorry just let him eat hardest outbreaks at all. You have to choose your battles um it would. I thought was really interesting. Is that like during quarantine like they were actually quite busy like they were being safe but like they were planning things for scott's birthday and they were together quite a bit but none of that was shared on social media because like the cova police in the last six months. Those internet like policemen have become so empowered. And anything anyone does is like your mask not fully covering your nose like yeah so crazy and so i just find it interesting that they had this whole life going on in calabasas and they literally live simulation. Like things go on there and like nobody knows about it. It's crazy and i just find it interesting. That they had all the stuff going on and like nobody knew about any of it. Yeah no definitely really interesting. Also seeing how they all coped. I came and the four kids and we have reported on it because she shared in an interview. How overwhelmed she was at the time when we were like. Ooh how hard it must be like honestly looks extremely overwhelming though. She finally got rid of her kids and was like i miss them so much. I'm so bored like i. I love her so much. She's she was leading to north. Get like i feel like you know of all the kids. North is probably at the age where she was the most annoying. And i think she is so much energy. She's so much personality like it must just be a lot right and no like they have the privilege of probably having each kid has their own emmy in israel right to go from that to nothing is a real shock to the system. Yeah but my. This is actually last week when meeting recap kim was doing that. Filipino mascot scott for immune. Ben did it last week. Our like our bed is discussing. I have to literally vacuum the bed every day because so much dead. Skin feet are peeling a banana. Like my fresh thing where you put your foot in it. And it's it's a little little glove thing it's a foot glove. Yeah and then. I got one for zach back. It's amazing the upkeep. It takes one to two weeks for all the time. What's the goal. you just like. Get fresh feet. I have like really dry heels and calluses on my big toe. So just like for the and get them pedicured mike exfoliating but like the first time in my life like i'm literally shedding my dad's skin it. It's like it's years of dead skin. That's crazy i don't. I don't have problems like that. I don't think will it's just a fun experiment when looks really messy. It's so messy like my dustbuster like my little hand. Held back has become my best friend. Like 'cause i wear socks all around the house out to literally contain my dad's disgusting. That is so funny Sorry back to the crash. So the scott Rehab drama was actually very interesting to see who watch it unfolds. Because we had like reported on it was happening but to see that like no one even knew that he was there. He completely checked himself in he was just like trying to do. What was the same self. They just like reminds me. I feel like can a couple of the members that i've read like celebrities. We'll get to this breaking point and they try to seek out help and like the like what you would think would be best for them and it turns out to make a situation even worse and i'm just glad that he has the support system that he has because he could have gone to like a dark place after that happened in whatever he was feeling would have been even more exacerbated but i'm glad that he was able to bounce back from the trauma inflicted on him seeing him on that family. Facetime like right after it happened. I thought he would be like a little bit. Lucky for me like if that had happened to me like i would be like destroyed. I'd be embarrassed. I feel exploited. And i wouldn't want to talk to anyone and i feel like he had like kind of a good attitude about it like they were all joking how he went there for trauma and they ended up like traumatizing and like i feel like he had like a good spirit about it and i loved seeing rob family chats like i just i love him so much and i'm so happy for him and i don't even want him back on the show even though like i love seeing him on the show. I really just want him to do. What's best for him and dream. But i just loved seeing him and the way he's honestly just like he's again mom. You're totally right. Like i just love him. And then i never see him totally really cute Other than that. The only other thing was like tristen and chloe and i know what like so toxic but when i'm watching it. I'm just rooting for them. We've never seen this much of tristan. I don't know who he was a year ago. That he's the new man now but like the way he was when he was talking to chris talking about how like she's in the penthouse and he's in the basement and he's going to work his way back up and even when it gets hard he needs to look in the mirror and be like you did then. I here because of your mistakes i. I'm just i'm here for it. I'm here for them. I can see how it would be like challenging khloe to fall back into love with him. Of course i trust. I really i ship. He's doing the work a years worth of like being a good man eating shit and being there for her like. That's that's real stuff. I know in part of me is like i know it's toxic but like they have a kid together and they'd obviously each other and i think tristan loves being part of their family. So it's just like oh. We need to talk about kim's birthday blog. I fuck. I didn't watch all with god. Jackie sorry she put together in eight-minute igt and it wasn't really anything crazy. It was just like footage from the weekend. We're basically like all they did was drink and kim was actually drinking. Took a shot of tequila on camera and it was just like crazy because she really doesn't drink and pretty much every night they like got drunk and stood on the beach and like all stood in a circle and like how to dance circle. Khori went wild and did a split and the whole crowd of people around him tristan like they went nuts. I don't think anyone knew that he could do the split. It was so funny and it was like a really like blurry honestly poorly done blog but it was just a real insight to what that weekend was like it was so fun and happy and i never honestly never saw him like dance like with simon and fail. I know so. It was like it was really cute. Actually really enjoyed it. And i'm loving them exploring new formats totally have to watch it. That sounds like such a treat. I'm obsessed with corey me. Obsessed like me. He's one of my favorite people on the show. I think honestly like i think him in. Chris have like a vip. Very healthy relationships. Completely agree and i love his relationship with the girl to kylie me too. I completely here for it and going to treat myself. The blog was unsealed sited. Ho- funny like split came nowhere and it was so funny and that trip just looked like oh my god i would have given my right arm up just to like fucking be a part of it but other than that good season and i really liked how they did all the quarantine content. I think that they filmed it. Kim believes that was on iphone. I know like multiple iphones. But then i was getting confused because we knew that there was one behind them showing their conversation one in front of them. They showed us how they set it up. But then the one in front of them when they would show us that angle. We never see the camera behind them. Wasn't there so comer behind there many times but many times i didn't like angles like i. Guess yeah maybe. Maybe they didn't. Okay fine. I really hope that they like every single. One of them like gives it their all for the final season. I want rob kendall kylie. I want everyone giving. They're all making this amazing season. Because i'm really sad that it's coming to an end. I know but i just see him holding out. Hope that the new whatever's next that there's more show just a different provider format cetera. Also i think the most interesting thing about Watching them in quarantine was seeing all of their natural hair. Yeah kim's is really short Closes short blond and courtney's short too. Yeah i just thought that was really interesting because there was like wearing wigs. Khloe amazing nails the whole time clause. Yeah so. I wonder how she did that. I don't know And then southern charm which was good. I mean i'm just so in love with. John pringle and i really am rooting for him in madison. Your in love with him. I think i think only as it pertains to madison like he's definitely acting inappropriately because she's fully in a relationship like you know. I think i've come to the conclusion that like. Maybe hearn austin just like are not. I think that they are not. But i think a i don't. I don't mind which pringle is doing. Because i think it will make to find up more and be more of what madison deserves. But like i really do. Think that madison. An austin or otc like. They just can't quit each other. I really love katherine for two reasons. One she's the only person who points out. How bizarre it is that like patricia is like having such a heavy hand in everything like making to madison about her relationship. With austin when it's catherine's only one who's literally saying like this is like an eighty year old woman like why she getting involved in nearly as she was like. It's like we're on the incident cover and she's the one holding the puck the top and it's like that's exactly what she's doing even though catherine patrician in a good place so you would think like. Wouldn't want across. Patricio like say some bug da. No but like she's on crossing her she's just saying the obvious and the other thing. I really loved about caffeine last week. Was when level like just really confronted or like hands down like you cannot say shit about cameron like she was very unapologetic. I really agreed with catherine and the way that she him that whole situation. It's like why is everyone allowed to say anything. They want about me and madison. We're just like the like the. What's the word exception. Sure that works like they're just exceptions but if anyone says anything about anyone else like it's like how could you like and i just i even. Everyone loves her. And i liked her to like cameron was for like the last eight years. I really the the pop star like and just good mover of pieces and also. She was so influential in the group that if she had been more sympathetic towards catherine everyone else would have been so you. Don't get eight years on a show with. She literally had eight years show and never ruined. Scathed never met her husband like so surface level whereas catherine's literally bleeding out with their custody cases and thomas getting a girl pregnant like so much and it's just like if i were catherine i would be pissed. You and i would just say whatever the fuck i wanted. And it's worth noting that catherine do not make that room. Because i heard it to like a year ago. Yeah nobody gets. Level was upset with her for repeating it. And i hear you being a good friend level but it's like do you know what's going on here for the last seven years i share. But she's just like seeing it from her perspective. I absolutely love liba meet with every passing episode. Last week i watch and that was like my note for the week. Like i love her. I love so impressive. So impressive so interesting. Her son's name is little. Which i think is the cutest thing ever. She little in like a lil rel and then his name popped up on the screen. When like i love that name me to tape on your shirt. What do you mean. This is that design. Or oh i thought it was part of the shirt you no. It's vitamin so. I'm like they do weird stolley actually no might be. It might be if it's veterans. Definitely not are you sure okay. It's definitely not yes. By the way. I totally agree with lava with you about level like i loved her. I thought her businesses were so impressive. And how they all talked about republic. How literally changed. The social scene in charleston like didn't even remember life before public. I thought that was like so impressive. That her and her husband did that. And i just love people who go on reality shows and are so proud of their culture. And i think that's why i love shahs of sunset so much because you learn so much and it's just like quality people who are so proud of where they came from and i loved it like in charleston where. I'm sure there's like no persian people. She was just like so proud of her cooking and her mom and it was. I love people who do that. So i actually this episode really made me like when i was like a little turned off to her when she was just so aggressive to catherine last week but i actually and he liked her comfort. Even though i probably agree with. I hear a see where catherine's coming from. I really liked lettuce. Confrontation style like she just was set it like it was holds barred and i think that even though catherine like felt the way that she did she was like okay like yeah she stood up. I'm not gonna keep going down this road. Yeah also. I just like need new york to open up one of those bars where your dogs can run around like. Oh my god hell was hygiene that. I had so much anxiety when danny's dog was in the mud because it's a white fly now like but they were having so much fun. It really bothers me. The check ships. Dog's name is craig. I know it's so rule ages like harks back to when winchester was the big fucking like to name. Your dog after a best friend is like so nasty. No i agree. And that's like part of me like really does try so hard to see the best chaplain. He didn't know peter and madison fucked. Like part of me like really really but part of me like just can't because he's like the worst you know i know i feel like making stri. He's making shots. And i really liked his conversation with madison by the way like mattis. I don't know why everyone keeps starting with madison. Like she's the last person. I would want to confide from tahoe on point like every she. Just she will roast. Don't start with. I agree she will finish it. Yeah and issue. She'll finish their years of shop. Just like going after everyone on the show and everyone sort of just like cowering and scurrying away like she's like now fuck you find your relationship. Had no i love her. I love her. i think she's a wonderful reality televise. Very and a and a great woman So yeah. I think that was it. I did watch the real house. Salt lake city on watch caught up on watch live yesterday. I saw that episode with darius rucker. Reba was absolutely incredible. Like i recommend everyone watching. It was just a great night to be a bravo fan and a pop culture and anti antidote. The segment is how fancy is reba and it was like because she's like so rich like when was the last time you flew commercial like all these questions. It was great. When was it last year. Darius rucker was like wow really then. The house has a salt lake city ron. It was so messy like everyone and their tech problems. Like mary's camera was like literally on the floor. At least it was so blurry like but it was interesting to see them in that setting agreed. Jen shot is my queen. Heather is my queen. And i'm it's unfortunately just going to be a big fat. No for me from lisa. Is that her name meredith confused. Sorry explain why she was giving a you're right. She was giving a very premeditated. Like i've been waiting my whole life for this moment. Yes and like even just her look and everything and like andy and like she just tries like she's like putting herself in the housewives hemisphere like even though she's literally been here for two one photo from ninety with bethany and she was like i met him so happy for her and her empire literally met at a party wants seven years ago. And you're proud of her like it was just very thirsty so i totally saw what you saw but you definitely plan to that in my head. I share which. I do like meredith more on watch. What happened five. Yes oh i got so meredith. Got something done lillard something. That made her look way. Different than lisa was. She was giving me like kyle richards by very helpful. I need her to continue filling up her face and yes. She wasn't so thirsty. It was like anti would question and there were certain people like jen. Who were like had who like literally could not wait to answer. The question and lisa was just like meredith. Was just like. I will speak when spoken to like. She was very relaxed. And not thirsty and whitney to and mary because i don't think mary had any idea what was going on. Like she was not present. You couldn't figure out like she like she was not there but some of them were really. They're seeing some them. We're not and i just thought that was interesting. I thought it was interesting. The question that andy asked about like. How does the town the city of salt lake city. And you know the mormon community feel about the show and lisa was like they love it. Everyone's happy that house is our here. She's talking about herself. So then heather was like i agree with you. More and heather is a really connected to like the core like legit parts of the church and like she would know. Yeah and also. I just feel like is just saying how like we love it worse here so it was a really busy week of television watching honestly relieved that it's over. I know i guess next week. Without as we get three hours back and no kardashians. Because i'm card ashi oh kardashians because this was the season finale. So four hours back next week. Yeah no premieres though. Oh please tell total. Bella started again. But i watch I didn't watch. But sometimes i do. I don't know i really like a child. Like timberlake catch one episode. And then i like fly through this. Well i'm actually thinking. Maybe i'm not gonna watch tv this weekend. Because that's literally all i did. Crown draw two days fifteen. That is very exciting. Yeah bruno sweets the cloud. I may sweetie pie. So we're going to wrap this up. Thank you bruno for being here ever follow bruno on instagram at pups with no job and thank you so much for listening to the morning. Post the monday morning. Show where we deliver the past five stories every monday through friday. That unique now wait now. I fucked that up things listening to the morning show similar morning show where we deliver the fast by stories that you need to know. Every morning monday through. Friday and youtube every watching youtube. Please subscribe and get this video at up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere. Podcast can be found set spotify stitcher. Public radio iheartradio cashbox. All the places wherever you listen to podcasts some morning totally the five star of you. About how beautiful. Stunning smart we are. We hope you have an amazing weekend stay safe. Don't drink and drive. have a good time. Where face mask. And we'll see you tomorrow goodbye goodbye.
Why Men Use Sex (Porn) to Avoid Pain w/ Mark Groves (023)
"When I went to has expedites older all the things I was about to do, and then I went to exit there and it was like putting a marshmallow Mona big Eubank man that couldn't get a boner. And so now I'm trying to overly be masculine because I'm so glad that I don't want anyone, and I also can't get an erection because my values are now out of alignment, intimacy leads to heartbreak is what's truly happening in my subconscious is like if I connect with this woman, she's gonna crush me. I then would use alcohol to numb my value system. Eventually I learned that I do that, and then be able to have sex and man, that was the beginning of a long unhealthy relationship with intimacy. Welcome to men this way, the podcast for every man, who seeks to live his deepest purpose in life, who's committed to showing of fully and giving his unique gifts to the world because if not you, then who. I'm your host of fellow journeyman. Brian Reeves, Bryan with a Y Reeves men this way. Are you leaking sexual energy all over the place at the store at the gym at work or online? Could you be using sex or porn to avoid shame or avoid intimacy or to live up to some outdated model of man? Could you be using orgasm to self soothe because you rarely received emotional soothing as child while in this episode my guest Marc groves, and I dive into these questions and more. Mark is the founder of the popular and inspiring Instagram page create the love. Now, this is a little different than most episodes of men this way in that Mark is a repeat guest and where drilling down into a specific topic, essentially how men use sex to avoid pain, and what we can do about it. It's a subject, both Mark, and I have a lot of personal and painful experience. Because we both used women we use sex porn even orgasm to avoid a lot of underlying issues that just perpetuated, disconnect and suffering in both ourselves. And in our partners, even despite all the pleasure in good feeling that sex, and orgasm, and intimacy offer to since we both have also been on profoundly healing journeys around all of this awakening to and practicing, what it takes to create healthy relationships, not just with another person, but with ourselves and with our own full rich, sexual drives, and desires to well, we decided to record an episode specifically on this for you. It's filled with the life changing insights, and practices that we both have discovered on our respective journeys, including my experience, doing a thirty day sex, dating flirting hunting, and hoping diet a few years back, which profoundly. Shifted my relationship to sex and intimacy. And really paved the way for the exquisite relationship that I'm in today. So definitely listen to the end of this episode of men this way where we give you our best practices for learning how to use sex, not as a crutch to avoid pain. But rather as a potent fuel for creating more vitality and deep connection in your mind. And also, if you wanna share any feedback, or tell me or Mark, what this conversation inspired in you. Please Email me directly at Brian at Brian Reeves dot com. Love to hear your thoughts. All right. Let's dive Mark grows was having back on men this way. So soon love it, man. Thanks for having me back. Yeah. I'm excited for this, if you haven't already listened to the, the episode where Mark and I talk about shit, man. I kind of forgetting this moment, but it was profound talk about your journeys band funding. We talked about some really cool. That's a goal is to it. And then tell it talked about exactly. But I wanted to have you back on because and this is gonna be a little bit different than allow the episodes because after we got done, recording, as we were talking you said something you said, man, we should do. An so we have a conversation about how men use sex to avoid pain. And I thought hell yes, that is a great idea. Remember that the, and it's it's one of those subjects that I think, you know, were so socialized in culture to be sexual as men, like even if we don't feel sexual were not easily aroused. We think there's something wrong with us S right in. I think that's an interesting thing that we, we haven't really been able to the that we don't necessarily differentiate. Yeah, totally I think, you know as I look back into my pass. I think when you said that and suggested that it really spoke to me, because, man, I did a whole, I did a whole what I called my sex, dating flirting hunting in hoping diet. I remember when years ago, I followed you on your remember reading your, your up. Yeah, that's right in, because I hadn't seen it until then. How much I was used essentially using women, but not women even but like feminine energy wherever I could. Get it. Oh, yeah. Means you man to not feel well, I didn't even know what I was waiting at the time. So how many six devoid pain now, this is we have some things we definitely wanna touch on cover. But why did this really leap out at you as a subject we should explore because I did it in. I think it was it's a subject that I think I didn't know I was doing when I was doing it till I realized that the results I was getting in my life where reflective of I'd say, I really want a deeply connective relationship in hooking up with his girl, every Sunday, I remember and a friend of a friend said to just happen to be the these things were connected, but another girl had just gotten out of a relationship, and she said to our mutual friend of the one I was looking up with. She said, you know, I really wanna just hook up in find a good guy who I can trust to. Data girls like, well, you should up with Mark groves she turns to her boyfriend, who's friend of mine, Margaret was a single right? And he's like, and he's like, oh, we'll just took up with him. He's a nice guy. Well, the girl who I'm hooking up with is like, hey, I 'cause they're friends, the one she goes. Hey I heard you're the guy who Cup with if you don't wanna relationship, and I was like. Right now might two worlds collide. Well. Most people might think opportunity for threesome. Yeah. But what I realized was that. I wasn't what I said. I wanted I was what I was choosing. And my two worlds might integrity, everything that I didn't know I was I mean it'd be obviously is very obvious. Once you hear it, but at the time I thought it was just, you know, hooking up with someone on the way to the relationship I wanted, but really the energy I was putting out there was. And so I felt like I put myself on Vollers vacation, I call it. Vas vacation. I had such an addictive relationship with intimacy since I'd had sex. One is sixteen whatever's our moment data. If you're listening, fifteen or sixteen anyways, I had not had sex with someone like for longer than a period of like three months that whole time. So I was like, maybe it's time that I learn why I'm drawn to what I'm drawn to is like. In the drink down. You know, same idea. Yeah. You just said something really mazing that I wanna highlight. You said I was not what I said. I wanted. I was what I was choosing that quote that correctly. Yeah. I think so. In other words, what I was saying was incongruent with what I was actually what I was saying. I wanted was incongruent with what I was actually choosing. And I think it was reflect the my own journey the reason I did this dating what I call the sex, dating flirting hunting in hoping diet was because Likewise, I so wanted to. Rob candle. He says something really interesting about men in sex. He says, I don't actually think it's not that men are are wanting sex so much is that men actually using six to get valid Dacian o- hundred percent like I think that we all turn to in my own personal opinion through my own experience is that I turn to an unhealthy relationship to intimacy and Zack's because I very much respected my body in the sexual Joyce's. I was making when I was young till I went through heartbreak. When I went through our break, I first off didn't desire, anyone for the first time and that was crazy because I was nineteen in college, and I'd be walking down the hallway at the university in you know if it had been a week before my heartbreak I was like drawn, actually every, you know, to most women, but after my heartbreak, I wasn't in, I thought something was wrong with me, and I was like, am I gay? What's. Like what's happening here and it's not strange. I'm not drawn to someone. So does that mean I'm gay him during drawn to women right now says, I mean I'm gay. Yeah. Like there was this weird like but because my body was so hurt. There was no information for this. I mean this is twenty one years ago. Not couldn't Google this. It was not like my guy friends were, like yeah. Tell me about your extremely painful monogamous break. They were grinding not all of them, but, you know, some of them were granted chicks at the bar and hooking up. And here I was thinking relationships or the way to go. And I'm standing in the truth of my oth-. Anticipation, my values. And man about three weeks after that break-up. I did a bunch of things I'd never done before one. I made out on dancefloor with Jay that wasn't so bad in, then I tried to take. I mean I took a girl home to my parents house has stupid. For one night stands at like the devil. It was Halloween ever have a Halloween after appropriate. Yeah. Was appropriate in him. When I went to have expedite told her all the things I was about to do, and then I went to Exeter, put immerse Mona big bang, man, that couldn't get a boner. And so, then now listen to this, right. So now I'm a now I'm trying to overtly masculine, because I'm so defied that I don't love that. I don't want anyone. And I also can't get an erection because my values are now out of alignment, intimacy leads to heartbreak is what's truly happening in my subconscious is like if I connect with this woman, she's gonna crush me. How old were you at this time as nineteen nineteen while? Yeah. So then my strategy was because I had a lot of resilience fortitude, my strategy will I, I didn't get to do anything with that woman. She was like, oh, he said, all those things. Now you need like a fucking kick. Stands rena. No. I, I then would use alcohol to numb my value system. Eventually I learned that I do that. And then I'd be able to have sex. Yeah. And man, that was the beginning of a long unhealthy relationship with intimacy. Yeah. You know, I've realized in this is doing through my own therapy, the last few years, how, you know, I had great parents more or less. I mean, that, you know, they divorced four married some other people when I was ten I had four parents, just there were it was messing this. There was out Gaullism. There was, you know, weird sort of, you know, modern family dynamics all nap Neo. No beat me. Nobody put me down. I wasn't criticized. It wasn't but I also wasn't comforted. Nobody ever really comforted me, you know, no one really checked in with my emotions. How was I mean my parents put up when I was four and I lived with that for the rest of my, my life, certainly, but just growing up as a kid in noon comforted me, one of the things that I got really clear about in the last few years, was how actually sex in masturbation, especially, but sex definitely orgasm were forms of self soothing. I mean it's good feeling. So I guess, a good feeling and it's a way of not just being present with or not feeling the loneliness. No-one's comforting me, I never never would have framed it in those terms, but, you know that has been really revelatory for me realizing that making the connection between not being comforted. Again, having great parents for them. Good people, and I think men, especially, especially as we get a little older turn into teenagers. All that comes with that, you know, no one's really talking about what we're feeling. And we don't wanna talk about it because of just how we're indoctrinated in the culture around us. So of course, you know, sex orgasm pleasure in are going to be a man, you know, God, I could masturbate, like nobody's business. In those days, like, if I can ironman. And and, and. Wow. And I'll tell you in how that affected my relationships and didn't even realize it because I wouldn't let anyone soothe me, I wouldn't let a partner soothe me emotionally, not, because I didn't even know what that was like, you know, I got me, I'll do me, I've always done me since I was forever literally and figuratively and every single I will do me, if you wanna participate great, but bonus so making that connection was really really profound. You know I'm in my mid forties. Now forty four and, and, you know, I've definitely felt the edge off my sexuality a little bit still fantastic. Great driven all that of amazing partner. Greg chemistry off the charts. But a definitely feeling the edges coming off. But I wonder you know that validation in soothing. I share that with you what comes up for you. What do you see there? Man, I for sure used. I mean, sex became in a men's part validation for me. Not only the validation that what really intimacy became a cloak to the pain, I was feeling I could be the fun part guy. I've been go to my sports teams in talk about, you know, the chick, I hooked up with an I'd get celebrated. So there was valid as in there in underneath what was going on is I was fucking broken. I was so heartbroken in I didn't really tap into that probably till I was thirty five so about five years ago where I realized that I hadn't let a women love me in so long because I had sort of, like, you know, stood so true my values before that, Halloween night that fateful Halloween night. But after that, I just sort of thought, like, what's the point in standing in these principles of, of being men who really values relationship? When relationship led to the ultimate devastation I've ever experienced in my friends who are not doing that. I had friends who obviously were in relationship, and very good men. But I had a lot of friends who are hooking up. And I was like, well, they're happy. They're fine. And so became you know, as I think of like the self soothing that sex. I mean, what better award system wasn't a drug user Zo, like what better rewards to Minin orgasm in feeling loved and connected to buy a woman. Yeah. And desired because I felt like there was nothing desirable about me. I mean the woman who I love so much had lied to me and chosen another man, without telling me till she told me. So, you know, man, like you only can put the you know, as Steve Jobs. So famously said, you can connect the dots looking back. I connect those dots now to Mike holy shit. Like how many other men are doing using sex the way, I did. The I, I remember too, as you were sharing that, that through my adult life. I would you know as time we're on. Okay. So I'm having a mapping sex similarly like I didn't think this years ago similar to you. I didn't know use. But I was thinking, I'm having sex. Okay. It'll be about three months, maybe before the next part. Okay. That's not too long. I'll I'll get there. That's a pretty good ratio. It's pretty good rate. You know how to measure up all of that, and it was it was so about validation. Absolutely MS so much about being validated, even I was never the bragging to my friends type at all in definitely ill. You definitely were Dushi that. You know that's why when when I thought about just all the. The ways that I've, you know, participated in the, you know, mutually because its course, to wounded people find each other, you know, in that pain of wanting to so canal all, or whatever it is even just in relationship free, intimacy I just think was like we're like, two people masturbating each other young. You know, I think of all the connection that I've sort of like time, traveled through not really valued. When I woke up to that from that, that woman, saying that to me like. Airily. You're the guy to go up with that was in a moment, where I was wanting to change transform. It was just like one of those universal slaps to the face. You get to choose to wake up now or you get to keep hurting. Yeah. And thankfully, I chose the, the first part you know, as I was preparing for this. And I was looking okay. Let's let's come up with some statistics was my think. Okay, witless look out there. The world of research in statistics in sacks and satisfaction in men and women and all that. And here's the bottom line, it's fucking mess out there. If I mess it. Totally one hundred percent mess. I like that. That's validated to by. You know, we don't even the samples is just like women talk about, you know, I think we touched on this previously in our last podcast. But it was talking about. I just think it's a way that immature painful masculinity becomes expressed in, you know, course, NO IBM idiot to say that having sex with, you know, a number of people in having a lot of experiences wasn't fun course. And that's hard part is like that'd be like I mean, I've never done cocaine. But that'd be like all those times I did. Go gain denying that. I had a really already. Right. So I think there's a balance of like, where's your expiration within your integrity? 'cause course you can have sexual experiences that are within your integrity. Yeah. But when I think this is an inch. Interesting idea, because I don't know that there's necessarily a right answer. But when is it integrity to be expressing yourself sexually in, of course? Integrity is gonna mean different things people would you? Well, I actually, you know, I wish someone would have told me it's okay to not want to be in relationship or not being a relationship when I'm in my twenties and thirties. It's okay to just be single. Enjoy the sexual experience or the adventuring or tasting all the different flavors of life in women. I wish someone would have just said, you know what it's okay. And not from a place of you know, you should do that. Or that's, you know, man, fuck marriage to don't relationship suck not from that place. But from just it's okay, it's okay to not be ready. It's okay to when you say integrity. I mean, that's what I realized I think I was so torn a needing that validation, I stayed in relationship with women, or I would choose women or, you know. I would play at love her, once ecologist say this years ago that men will tend to play at love to get sex women will play at sex to get love and I don't know. It's black and white. I believe that, but I definitely wasn't ready to be two feet into a relationship news. I, although I said I was and I wasn't. Well, I mean, I think if I look in hindsight, a lot of my exploration was trying to figure out how I mean, a lot of my dancing around was, you know, to figure out how to not pay attention to my pain. You know, it was like a constant distraction in what better distraction than nice smelling. Beautiful woman told me. No. In I've been designed to be distracted by that course. Yeah. And so, I think it became like where does my integrity become the number one priority universes? My biology and, you know, I don't want to. It's not like I was. Ending years humping away. That's not true in all my experiences were in some form of integrity in alignment, with I was hurting myself, you know. And I think also at at some point, I just got so good at pretending everything was ok in being charismatic and funny, and all that shit. That I was like, bypassing, my feelings completely. And I know we talked about this before we started the bug as just about this ability if you're really good with language, you can actually pretend to be connected to yourself. You can fake vulnerability. Yup. And as men were not exactly socialized to be connected to our hearts were, you know, I, I think there's so many eases of evidence of that. Yeah. But yeah, I think it's fascinating because I think even open relationships can often be sort of like a rebound or drive when we've been really hurt by something doesn't make sense for us. It doesn't mean that there's a right relationship structure. But I certainly think that there is an interesting drive that we have to move towards those when we've been really hurt. You know, I said earlier that it's a mess out there as as looking at statistics. I am one of the things that really fascinating is that millennials are having less ex- than previous generations by very significant degree in all the sex research Japan is held up as cautionary tale. We don't know why, but the Japanese are having less sex than anyone on the planet, but the Lineas around the world are having less sex. Interestingly, I found that in Mexico, Nigeria, they're having the most exciting sex in the world. I don't really know what that means. The way the Mexican I get it. But, but side as reflecting on this, no one really has good answers as to why that's happening. But one of the things that occurred to me, they blame everything, you know, depending on which expert you talked to they blame surging site levels. Aiding websites pornography mobile of living at home with payers all kinds of things. But hell, you took a woman home to your parents place. So that's clearly not able that might add still talks about this. So bad devil showed up as you redress Ornes. That's what it calls her. But what I tend to think in as I just reflect on my own jam forty four I grew up without a cell phone in my pocket. You know, you'd meet you man is fucking great. I wonder I believe that so much of you'll needing that validation needing the soothing. We all need to be validated. We all need soothing, whether that comes from the outside of the inside we need it. We need to be soothed. This is a crazy world. We live in the threats all over the place and specially with the phone in your pocket. You're connected to fucking FOX in New York's times, and all this shit is your one news. Flash away on your phone. You get a text from the governments in might get new like. That's right. Or you just see a photo on Instagram. That makes reminds you of how much you don't like your own life. So man. Yeah. So I think so many sorry finish. I'm just trying to make the I wanna make the connection here because I think, you know, between avoiding pain using sex using again. I think it's I really like what rob KENDALL said about using sex to get validation, and my only agree with that. Yeah. And, you know, we can get so much validated by posting something on social media in, in just a few people like it, you know, there's validation in that there's against soothing their soothing in. We can find just watching videos, especially man with the proliferation of porn in our of my Lord, and, you know, like I think there's two parts of that, too. One is that as mail, you get status for Zack's. Right. Or the validation dumbs in the status in sort of like evolutionary psychology terms. We can't void that the highest data's mill it's like an all poly-amorous societies. A few men get all the women in, then they become war-zones, because the other men are like you can have all the women so women, even if they say they want something different. There biologically drawn ties at his mails. It's just at work is what peacocking is in the pick of murders world, like it works. If person is being driven by their Volusia second part of that, I think, too, is that at least for me sex, intimacy became a safe space to feel in a space of socially acceptable space to be vulnerable in, because I think I craved feeling myself so much in it's great that it's in the positive stimulus as you were saying, like our phones, an Instagram like all of this is just a way of distracting ourselves from ourselves because I mean, men, when's the last time that use awesome one even waiting in line at the fucking bathroom. People can't. Even take shit without looking at phone. We're Geniza that like now. I'm really starting to analyze my relationship to my phone, which I noticed can give me. Zayed's. So I'm like, okay, we're gonna renegotiate his ending. Zayed's also gets in the way of healthy enjoyable fulfilling sex. Oh man. Right. Even performance anxiety, which is, of course, new partnering Zayed is one of the number one causes of rectal this function. Well, if you look at your phone, we'll go no, go ahead. I wanna come back to. Let's not forget this performance anxiety. I wanna come back to that, or something really big in that, but keep going, I was just going to say, like you look at like in Japan they got that crazy cartoon porn shits, like regular humans on cartoon steroids in in. It's crazy because I think about, like you watch one porn pornography movie with let's say ten chicks or something. I don't even know you will likely your brain will have seen more sexual experiences with women than you've ever seen. If you were a tribe. Yeah. Not that long ago from an evolutionary perspective. Literally, like the micro is blink of an eye, your body nervous em-. Everything your dopamine gets, like hyper stimulated in, then you go to your regular relationship with missionary and cowgirl. Enure like, but, you know, I'm not let beats with a hole in the box getting a hand job, you know. There's no swiping to next. No will let stay here for a moment because I also report a well, I wanna stay important for just a second. That's a weird thing to say. But. But you'll porn fucked up my body. Big time when I got my late thirties. You know, again, I didn't grow up with a cell phone full of the global archive of porn, in my pocket lot got raising scraping for National Geographic with the did he pick exactly. I was a swipe in memo's Victoria secret yet, work for the work. Yeah. Dial up. Do not long to load big. Why are you kidding me? I'd to wait until spring to get the spring catalog of Victoria's Secret man. We didn't get that in Canada at settle for like Sears, which is like heart. All I could worked with that back, then y'all I work. What you can. But that's how easily I was stimulated because I didn't have in titties on, right? And I spent about two years, inbetween relationships number of years before miss Sylvie just spend about an hour a day watching porn, soothing myself to sleep really what it was. No big deal. You know is fine in? I noticed at the end of that after about two years, I noticed uses shovel marshmallow in piggy-bank. That's what started to happen. And also, I was prematurely Jackie leading with women in. It was ter. I've never had that experience fucking terrifying. What the hell is happening here. Can't get interested with a woman in a premature Jackie leading almost even before I get erection. Anyway, yet with porn, though, of course I could man I was solid for an hour. Could just rock out for an hour rock out with my cock out is they say, but literally watching point. I could do that, yet with a woman. I couldn't. Do that at all. It was the opposite. It was terrifying to be in. That's when I to go cold Turkey, I had to quit completely because it was his ruining sexual experiences with women. What's been your experience with that? You know I feel like I did the same thing with porn that. I would use it to sell through that started to pay attention to the trigger that would make me go down the rabbit hole of desire pay attention to now. You know, like what's trigger that causes me to have Roddick desire is usually like something on Instagram Franken homepage. 'cause I don't follow any I do not follow model. Instagram is not good for his like maxim magazine back in the day. Shift just was like so abnormal, but I used to fuck in love that magazine like hometown hotties, you know, all this shit, and why not me not used to get. I don't know how I got them. But Pinterest emails in Pinterest would sivy Dan emails of these hot, women win these outfits, like, why am I getting this? I had unsubscribe and I should because it was triggering or. Yeah. You sent me a picture, brassiere my brain right? Who ate a hold with support. I'm like. Once that, you know, in, I. I think it's so important that we learned to manage our drive that we learned not to not to manages it, minimize it. But like because you know, there's a lot of conversation in the book thinking grow rich, he talks about taking your sexual drive in transmuting it into creation in purpose. And I think, as men, the more I got into my purpose more likely with true boundaries with healthy relationships to things, my desire for unhealthy or like obsessive, sexual experiences or pornography went down the thing about not being able to get erection from looking at born, you know, I'm certain IB foolish to say that probably didn't affect what got me aroused for a bit. But I've never really had an obsessive relationship with pornography. But I think one thing that was very confusing for me as a kid is I couldn't get an erection because I was so heartbroken that that. I was like, do I have rectal this function? Am I will never be able to get a bone or again? Right. But then I did all the research on it, because then it was like, oh, if you're sleeping and waking up with owners, your Weiner works. You're just but no one says like you can't get Boehner of your heartbroken. It's like you can't get one because you know, right. You have something wrong with your vascular. Whatever, and I have a friend who's gay. And he was talking about using grinder. And he said that he would not be able to get action with men and he said something that always stuck with me. And he said, my heart is literally connected to my dick, but it's also emotionally connected in, like a great way of articulating because it was so out of a lineman for him to participate in that casual stuff. But it was so part of his in his experience, part of the cultural pressure of being gay in, so that always stuck with me, because I really realized that there's so many men that don't honor and respect that maybe they're not meant to be like that. Maybe there. Actually wired in a different way than what the cultural narrative is, which is that we are sexual veracious beings. And if you don't wanna fuck everything you're broke. And what a dangerous message to send men that makes us become overtly sexual to make up for the shame. We have that we might not be these, like animals Faulk, you know, you think about that. It's like what a danger there. We send a cultural narrative year, there's a common thing that happens when couples will come to work with me. Sometimes the last, you know, how often should we be having sex? Yeah. You know what? You know, they'll have read some statistics somewhere that healthy couple or couples are having forty two percent couples or having sex three times a week. Whatever the hell that me. Is and it's one of the things that got to be really careful about is there is no normal normal for. You is normal for you. What works for you for your particular constitution for the agreements in your relationship, that are healthy for your relationship? Yeah. Normals dangerous word. Absolutely. I mean it's so that's something that we want to be really mindful of, but not comparing ourselves to what else is happening out there. But you said something really, really important that I want to emphasize about channeling all these triggers. We live in a world full of triggers. I mean, we're so fucked up, sexually speaking, so to speak. That the world is just we're bombarded with stuff that isn't helpful. It's drawing energy trying to sell us shit by using billboards of attractive, women and commercials of hot, women drinking, beards guest, by beer, stuff like this featuring Michelob, I better drink, low about meter pinchers emails, Instagram models. Do all of that everywhere and. And yet. If I'm gonna be a relationship with my woman, and I absolutely want to be in relationship with this woman. I wanna have a thriving beautiful dynamic fulfilling relationship. If my energy is leaking all over the place in, if I'm allowing energy to be drawn constantly down those rabbit holes. And it can, you know, one Pinterest Email could send the on our lying Instagram targeted? I'm fucked. You know, like we're never going to get rid of all those triggers just gonna be driving on the street and you're gonna see them. And that's okay this, but I think this is the key is being mindful about what is serving our relationship. I think so show media is a really dangerous place because it's so easy to get this pseudo. Connections, pseudo ballot from someone. We don't know from just some comments on a photo in a little flirtatiousness back when I was singled, having those little or tastes MoMA. All right. Long it was wonderful. You know, obviously, since I've been with Sylvie, man, not, not once that happened in wouldn't allow it for fucking second. Like I've aim aren't even put myself in situations goes as you said, a, my respect for myself and my integrity at what that means because I know for me, that's the most is alignment with my value system when as out of it, it hurts, like ship when state in I'm canal. Acted truthful honest in its honoring and respecting the connection, which is ink is the most connection in the world is with my partner in, you know, I love what you're saying about that as like respect. Yeah. That's spilling part. That's so important is like burying are you being responsive? And I think it's as you said, it's like a normal biological thing to get the trigger into totally respond triggers in and to start collecting your energy back. You know putting it back in your pocket. Keeping it absolutely mad. I'm sure you hear this two minutes, so many women will write to me or comment in about their partner who's they won't use this word, but whose energy is leaky. They're commenting on other women's photos, or new stand men who follow like fucking porn stars and models. Like I mean, I know a lot of women who follow female models, which that's more about to you. But if your man in your fallen bunch of shakes that innately disrupt, the trust in baseline of your relationship cleaner, Shiva. Yeah. You want your woman doing that. No. You don't. Or if you're a man with man like same thing. Stop it. Stop look at why you need to distract yourself and do that shit like go to the source. Yeah. And I think that's where we're kinda come into head so speak with this dominator, that's inevitable in this. He can't help yourself. You know, the where because really is about about cleaning bar, energy, and again, like any man love the female form can appreciate the beauty of a woman in I am, though, for it other at nothing wrong with that whatsoever. But if we are going to be in relationship, this ties back to what you said earlier, and I mess it up every time but I'm not what I'm saying. I want I am. What with the state again man, it was brilliant, how you said it of that. What I say want is not what I'm choosing. That's right. What I say. One is not. That's exactly. And so many of and I've done this in the past, certainly. But we're acting in ways that are actually they are violating to our relationship. They are violating the person. We're with our own elves thrown to our own shoots. Exactly our own integrity because we're either you know, there's no such thing as ninety nine percent committed all in all not. I'm pretty honest. Night has right. We are either in or not. You know, in it's easy for us. Men to say were to feed in not actually be too faded to a relationship with. Somebody comes out in those little, spilling things that we do that, like on like stop following anyone as a threat to your relationship participating in those conversations because you're right. They're all just ways of self sabotage their ways of limiting relationship death. They're all going to keep it very strategically from subconscious level. They're going to keep us from going deeper with our partner or in any relationship preventing time. I mean the research shows that even if your phone is upside down on table. You're less vulnerable in conversations. No in. Yeah. And that's just because there's this draw, maybe there's more there than there is year. Yeah, but man go to a restaurant watch. Like I think it's so fascinating because I've certainly been guilty of that my past, and this isn't about being tying. Or being like we're in integrity near. And it's like no man, we all dance in out of alignment, we all dance, but eventually, you have to decide what is like the center of huge of who you wanna be. Yeah. It is like the core, you're gonna make little mistakes in there. But you're gonna crack them. But like as a core being what are your principles in your value? And are you gonna live by them? Yeah. Mastered saying mcquarry are appearing as though in, in dancing around all that stuff. And eventually really great women called my ass out. Yeah. Yeah. And men gray men to like your full shit. And a my guy am, yes I am. I didn't wanna know because I'm sure this is valid for so many little, how did you work through the pornography affect on your action, that was really? Yeah. No. 'cause I'm sure well, plenty people I do. Yes. Well, I just I quit cold Turkey. I mean I just stopped from one day to the next because it just there was an a specific. Couple experiences that happened to maybe over the course of a few weeks with different women that it was just my body is essentially broken when it comes to women now, again, so to speak. And I just it was terrifying. How scared I hit a bottom. What was well the bottom was as I said, I couldn't get erection certainly couldn't maintain it end. I prematurely Jackie lated before pretty much before, even touched me, a never had those experiences have always had very very, you know, very sort of healthy just for me. Just it works. My body, just worked grades. So it was like the contrast was overwhelming. And I think this is a challenge, because a lot of especially younger men, they don't have that contrast that I had 'cause I grope in game with end smartphone porn. So I had the contrast in so I just stopped, and you know man, it took me about a year and a half, I would say for. My body to recover. In fact, you know talk about like morning would I couldn't even while when that was happening? I lost my morning erections all of that. And it was like when I started getting morning would again, maybe a year later, did it like, oh, MS like is, like rescuing an exotic plant thing shinned is. Which is how your body gets so conditioned that it's like a detox, you need a little you talks. And I felt it, you know, even the beginning of relationship with Sylvie. I could still feel the effects, and it was probably eighteen months or so after, you know, I meant Sylvie maybe eighteen months or so after I stopped year to eighteen months after and I could still feel the like it just my body wasn't wasn't responding in in the way that it had. It was much better. And you know, now three years in and men about, I'm forty I'm older than I was forty four when this was happening. I was, you know, thirty nine forty I guess thirty eight thirty nine and my body stronger now than when it was at that time, and it was, you know, there's been moments where have used porn sporadically in the years since but, you know, no more than once a month or even in usually once a year. It's like it happens. Like you said earlier, I'm not perfect. I'm not a Saint haven't eliminate. Fid every single leaky. Yes. Insured by being. I just don't get their emails. But if I the pops off shit there. You know, I'm on Instagram all that stuff's there. But I'm definitely more when I feel that sort of my energy shifting away from what would serve relationship. I bring it back in alignment, because I know it matters. And I know again, this won't really men to hear this and women to women are gonna be listening to this, and I want you to understand your right. Are leaky behavior matters. It does matter. And I don't put things in terms of. Right and wrong. There's just what serves what doesn't you could say woman would serve under doesn't what honors and what doesn't exactly it's not right. Or wrong. Is that wrong too? And this is where a lot of men and women. We come off the things off the rails, 'cause she said, you know, women will commonly say, never as many times throughout my life. You know what women would put up with that. No woman would put up with that woman. Well, you know what? You there's a woman out there who would put over that. Yes, through there are plenty out there, putting up with that just like there's plenty of men putting up with women who have leaky energy. Holy so the conversation really is does this serve your relationship, or does it not? And what are you waiting, you know, like I think, for me that was the big part is, like, what is it distracting you from that you're frayed will happen with your partner because I think they're all these ways of sabotaging where we up limited ourselves. So we upper limit ourselves right before we've been extremely devastated. And for me what I actually started to see was that my desire for intimacy in with anyone I cared about get performance anxiety. And I actually started to use that, as I know that all be ready to have sex when it's time as opposed to using this Pacific, you know, I would use x as a way of figuring out if I had a connection rather than establishing that we have connection than having rag. So it was about going back to what I always knew to be true when I was young, which was respecting myself respecting my body respecting my partner, but really holding intimacy as sacred thing, which, again, for people wanting to have it outside of monogamous long-term relationship. That's fine. Just hold it in sacred container. That's right. Let it be what it is. Which is in that's going to question of integrity, just it's like I'm not in relationship, and that's a whole, that's a whole other rabbit hole. Because I personally in my general experience in my experience. I generally have found that women unless they're really coming out of a break up coming out of a painful experience, and they're really not wanting a lasting connection in general women really aren't casual sex aren't non committal, Don. They are though pretend they are, but it doesn't really work on women and totally agree. 'cause it's a think do things at hand there. One is evolutionary. They need a partner in order, the consequences of, of sex are much higher for women. Yeah. In terms of child second part, there is that men women process oxytocin differently so for a man oxytocin because of its interaction, this is what is thought its interaction with testosterone. Jordan's its half-life oxygen women lasts about two three weeks. So they're gonna catch some feelings but it won't last as long. I think that's a it's just an important thing to, you know, minder oxytocin mind, but also don't miss represent what you want, you know, like that happens all time for men and women Zang, they wanna relationship or don't, but they really do want the other thing. And it happens literally. Yeah, let's circle back to performance because there's a really important thing here. You know is one of the stories against validation pleasing the woman making her come making your have an orgasm. It's so outcome oriented in what I performance as yet, so perform based on what I don't know years ago, kinda got clear about this, how actually a lot of men not done this, too. But we will will do all these things to try to make her have experienced because it makes us look good. It's really not about her at all totally, but making our selves look like running, a DJ turntable. Yeah. Get it. And I think, you know, I just wanted to bring that up 'cause we talked about this word performance. Again, there's so much of this sort of old masculine programming. We have to look good. We have to perform, well, you get the job done, cocker notches in the bed post on stuff notch, Nevada. That's funny. I do totally remember that socialization the belts the get. That's right. That's right. And none of that has to do with her. She's just a instrument for our own status, building, data's vase isn't crazy. Yeah. Hand on. Well, I wanted to point that out because, look, of course, we wanna satisfy partner, it's healthy, but different to please, your partner so that you look, good, or at least don't look bad versus pleasing her because it's pleasing to you to see her pleased yet. I totally there. You know that it comes from, as sincere authentic place, rather than it being perform. Base. I mean, there's so many conflicting pieces of socialization in this. I mean there's a book written for men called. She comes first, which is really I think, Iran that it's like we wanted to be bowed. Both experiences men tend to be very outcome based as you're saying, Mike, did you come? Did you ask that question all time still due to check in, you know, like the? Like I'm great was avid, what's happened over here. But I think what's also like Emily Agasi in her book. Come as you are, is a really great book written for women. But I think it's great for men and women in, she talks about how we both have spontaneous desire, like I saw abreast, I wanna have sex or haven't erection have X men's desires often connected to whether they have erection are not in women's is tends to be responsive desire. So you took the garbage out. I wouldn't mind humping you. We started kissing. You know, so they're spontaneous responsive higher in men tend to be more spontaneous. Women tend to be more responsive. But because we've created these gender spaces where we are like women who desire sex are slutty, or overtly, sexual imen- who don't desire sex broken, but some men have responsive desire like you cared for me. You took care of me start massaging my back now. I'm open to it. And I think it's so important like what you're saying about the performance base is actually just educating ourselves on how body words would is sexual asking lots of questions of your partner. Like I think how we perform in the bedroom is very similar to our willingness to go deep, God, there's so many buns, our willingness to go deep emotionally, too. So I think we can either find mastery in sex in. That's his gave from mastery of like vulnerability. But the other side of it is like asking our partner does that feel good. What feels right how fashion I go? It's like those questions require the possible chance that we don't know what we're fucking doing. That's right. Yeah. I think it was crazy is like the first time I had sex. I was supposed to know what I was doing. I never had so many things happened in the exact same time, like two breasts of face lips kissing in and out, yet, there's a condom work is there's a but here I can hold about like this. Things happening. Jackson time, they, we're not even good at multitasking outside of bedroom. Like high gonna do that with all. Hochman in on top of that against speak other everywhere on very on top of that. Many women's bodies. They're changing constantly, you know, what worked today won't work tomorrow. There's the mystery. You know, if we think we know what's going to work, and we do that in we, you know, it's like it's just a recipe for frustration for everybody. So you said that, like the willingness to not know like if we put our mail ego side or ego female, too. Yeah. You know. Yeah. And just, you know, one of the things that again, I mean, the sort of switch in my mind years ago when I kinda realized that just getting to orgasm is not really a good reason to do sex. I mean, unless you just want to have a baby, or just again, you need soothing. Sure, but love making is orgasm independent. Good love. Making is not about getting to orgasm. Yeah. Is all. And so I wanted to introduce that to, again, men and women that are listening that making orgasm the point of Sachs is almost certainly recipe for disatisfaction at least over the long term. Yeah. Like it's not about the destination. It's about. The journeys about the road trip. It's not about getting to the place, although get into the places great. It's great. And don't let that being excused for hey, you know, I came you'll need to come because that's not the point. You know, like all what I'm saying is that when we de emphasize the outcome, you know, in again, not the decibel, but the emphasizing even as a man, like I don't have to come everytime. We have Sachs or retirements and tells I won't in. That's fine. It's just totally perfectly fine. In fact, I often practice intentionally, not having an orgasm I gotta do that. I'm like none. It's ever. It's really, really amazing. Because what I noticed again, I'm forty four. So my body's a little, a minute particular age. But it actually it can maintain attraction that force, again is a hood, probably a whole other podcasts comprehension, but, but there's so much energy. There's so much resource would arises in the bodies of in, in terms of, in the sexual experience, that wa- man that can be fuel for my day. If I don't orgasm in the morning for chance mutation that whole mine yard. Absolutely. What can also then it can enhance the juicy nece in our relationship because that desire wasn't so called satisfied in the moment of orgasm. So we're kind of left with this sizzling, sparking arc of Poletti between us through the day that man to be so enlivening and trying to give you know, without wanting something in return, you know, like just pleasing your partner, and then, like, drop in the Mike. Oh, you're good. Go in like that. I think is it creates more desire, more tension because it also totally disrupts the wiring of females experience or a male's exerience of their life because the whole time. It's always been about like well just finished. Now, I've got to do this in it starts to give from this unconditional space, and as I was in before it's going to, like, what happens in the bedroom. So indicative of what happens in so many other places in like, are you good at expressing what you need are you good to being curious about your partner? Are you at giving without needing something in return? All of it is such a metaphor because how you do that as you're going to do everything in. I think when you take that time to be patient into, as lots of questions is the same as like sitting across from your partner, and they tell you that you didn't do that thing, well, or you were reactive defensive instead of getting more defensive or shutting down, which is so typical of us a relieving or doing liking picture on Instagram using fucking distraction. We just say tell me more about what that's like, like must be hard. How could I be better? I mean it's the exact same thing as being down there with her. Hands on your ears using you like joystick. You know, exact same thing is just that your sex will be far more connective, when your partner male or female feel safe in your emotional experiences. Yeah. You know, like set the stage to light a candle. You know, you gotta you put on some Cardi B, depending. You wanna get down. I have the playlist called love potion, number nine so love potion. Number nine Kamasiyah the playlist and I got a rock version in our in Beaverton, you know, that are in beaver Jains gotta have like jam. Odor. Okay. I'm even going farther back Olskoye square light draws or something like Luther exactly men, the art. Let's bring this home, bring them if thing I'm aware we haven't talked about it. Shame who one thing that I'm I just wanna say about that is when I was a kid. I remember I had a choice to make to be there. Good boy, or a bad boy, in bad, boys were the ones that just wanted to get girls pants. Good boys. Clearly didn't want to do that in chose to be a good boy for whatever reason I dunno. Sympathy, parents divorce. Nobody comforting me so I need, you know, gosh man to survive, I need to be liked. I thought I'd prove that I was different than other men. That was good boy, nice guy if the boy nice guy a nice end. So I totally disconnected from my sexual drive in many ways, still so alive. And in just just masturbate it out constantly, but I was so ashamed of just. I see this come up in relationships a lot, where we meant still live women to for sure. But, you know, this is really conversation. More for men were talking about, we're men. So, but men were still so shamed by having sex drive by wanting to have sex and man, the damage in the again, it finds its way, usually finds its way into porn. Yeah. Another, I think we have many cross cultural religious things that sort of mishmash or have sex, you know, as like idea, cultural beliefs, sex that creates manifestation, you know, who grew up in a family, and, or practice religion that in any way James sex in any way James desire, which most religions do all in their in their main interruptions, but they're obviously beautiful wonderful amazing. Sex of the different sects of religions with a religion that are beautiful communicate nice messaging, but the majority of the my grew up Catholic. So that's as giant, there's a lot of shame in that church. That's a whole other podcast. But what's fascinating is if your religion or your family or cultures -ociety in any way shame sex and sexuality in your human being in you have desire, which you do a part of you will feel bad apart of you will feel shame for just existing. And so you have to start to pick apart those parts those like turn towards them. You know, especially of our religions taught us that being gay is bad or being, you know, like any of those things. And we are. Then we're going to hold shame wherever we hold our actual true. Thank identity. And then we start to express sexuality in Z Crecy, which comes out in pornography in different weird fetish is not to say that there's not Ray fetishes, don't get me wrong social media stalking inappropriate social media talking unless there's a meeting. If you don't get caught then it's good stocking. The just getting. That's a bad. Yeah. And so being able to recognize that they manifest an express in unhealthy ways when we have shamed connected to them, which I think most of us, at least have some form of shame connected to sex and sexuality that we have to navigate and bring out into the open. Because if you wanna he'll shame you have to give to bring it out, you moving out of secrecy outta the tidy little Bach. That is the corner. That's mel's like boop. So good. There's a good segue to talk about. I don't know if solutions is the right word, but, but okay so we started this conversation about men and using sex to avoid pain, in how really what we're selling how around cly creates so much pain, actually both ourselves leisure like you know, that's why confusing pleasurable you like come as you're hurting. Yeah. And as often hurting your partner to maybe not physically, but emotionally. Yeah. Many cases. So, so let's just talk. About in your experience, I'll share mine as well. But like where do we go from how do we do this? How do we what do we encourage men what Bernard experiences in waking from this not doing that anymore? Women interested to hear yours for me. I know it worked for me in the first part was actually completely going on what I call version Gatien, but it was actually disconnecting from intimacy. So I could recreate my relationship to intimacy in a healthy way I could design it. So that was the first part is I, I went in I made the commitment that I would not be intimate with anyone till I felt emotionally connected to them in. It was the next logical step verse time, it went nine months in the next time I went a year in this was when I was thirty five and thirty six something like that somewhere around there in those mid thirty range. So that was the first part, the other part was starting to look at how I used intimacy as a ways of escape, I started to look at. How is actually afraid to let some? Unloved means. So I use these micro moments of intimacy. I mean I was in a five year relationship in the interim another year relationship from might experience in nineteen to the time. I was doing this detox was in a five year, relationship, one in a couple of one year, relationships and of Zia never really let, we had great intimacy but a never let myself go deeper. There was always limits Bill to what I would allow, and that was in actually letting someone love me actually letting myself, let go. I didn't know this was in the way. So I think it's really about just starting to explore your matrix your experience of for any man listening to this, none of this bible. None of this gospel is just say, like a Magai, who had an unhealthy relationship to intimacy and sex. I wanted to be programmed like what I thought other men were programmed like wanted to be able to just have casual sex and just not care. But I cared deeply in I had to use. Alcohol to numb that depth of feeling. So I think that's part of that is just like get curious start to move towards teachers that resonated, Hugh, listen. I've listened to so many of the episodes of Brian's podcast in each one in the teachers giving me so many nuggets about connection, intimacy and relationship in Saxo. What a great place to begin. Join men's groups all those things. Yeah. 'cause mental call your ass out. Good woman will call your out, but men who are in integrity will be much more certain about Jenny. Not just drinking buddies your football watching buddies, which would love those guys. But those aren't guys, those aren't the guys that are gonna hold you accountable that are gonna just call you out in ways that serve you. Exactly. Could look at you respect. Yeah. Or about, you know very similar. I you know, I did that dating sex diet called the Sexto, but it wasn't about sex. It was about using feminine energy to feel better about myself, and I stopped. I just I. One on a thirty day complete fast. I wasn't going to what that meant was. I wasn't going to linger in the produce department, the verse restore when, you know, some cute grant department, holding bananas are funneling some vegetable that I wouldn't have any idea what to do with in the kitchen. But just in the hopes that this woman would notice me, I was gonna cut all that out. You know, after yoga class, I wasn't gonna linger, the back of the room, you know, hoping to talk to somebody if you are single in integrity, both great places. Exactly. Well, but it was so leaky for me. It was so coming from such a desperate kinda hungry. In outta empty. I was trying to fill my emptiness is really what it was about. And in that thirty day men and also you like twenty four hours in I was terrified I was scared. You'll people would write to me say when I was doing this in specially women, they say, all thirty days with no sex cheese. What's wrong with you guys? Try year tried to years like this was not just about sex. It was about using feminine energy and all the forms that I was just in the moment. Suth feel better about myself or it was so leaky. It was so a and so I that you did that, by the way that you didn't just in the context of relationship insects that it was about. Because I never thought of it that way till I read when you were doing it. Yeah. What a cool distinction. Yeah. 'cause it was also about, like not calling even just female friends, you know, to hang out, spend time with female friends, because all around woman, even that, you know, cutting all of that out at. That's why called it. The hunting and hoping diet, as well hoping it was a on hoping, there's no cutting out hope that some women will complete me in experience in, by the way. If you're listening, if you wanna do that actually have a thirty day free Email sequence die. That'll that'll take you on that diet. I'll put it in the show notes link. Brian raised dot com slash dating diet. There's a way to try to started boys. Yes, men. In admit that was so powerful about that is I had to just be with my experience. Like, what you said, I get curious and just be with what was coming up for me. So let's be sorry man. It's all over though. I can't help her about. We become twelve win new. And I'll tell you man. It was one of the most transformative months of my life because again, I was being with my loneliness. Finally remember I remember maybe about a weekend or so I'm living in California. I grew up on the east coast. Family scattered around the country. And about a weekend again I'm riding my bicycle alone on Venice. Boardwalk, and there's the rules, I can't just call and have a lot of female friends. I can't call female friends who've made me feel better about myself. I can't flirt with some girl or talk like that. No cutting at all out in so Hans riding the bicycle on a beautiful sonny's was in August that I did. This was gorgeous day fem. Families are out lovers the hardest. I'm of year to do this. I love that. You did this. If you did in like December in Canada. You be fine. It'd be it'd be like no gel in any month with anyone everyone's covered in. No. It was everywhere. Yeah, you're in the epi center of actually. Yeah. And I remember feeling so lonely, but I felt my loneliness in a way that I hadn't felt it before because while I was distracting myself with all the leaky energy and a member in that moment, remember tournament bicycle around in just realizing God, I miss my family amiss my friends, miss people in, I started to in that moment started to actually reach out and create connections with friends in my family. In a way that I hadn't in years, because I, I let myself just below only instead of you know, porn it away or dates, it's away or you know, Tinder it away, whatever in. Here's another interesting thing that happened about two weeks into that experiment. Again, you can read all about this on my website is other stories in funny, things that happened in incites, but about two weeks into it again. Because I was just being with what was happening from me. Like you said being curious and just open feeling everything that was there, which was really uncomfortable. And frightening, if I but as I felt it and I started to allow even allow my sexuality to just be there. I remember going into the whole foods in Venice beach. If you've never been to the whole foods in Venice beach. It is like it's like a casting call for the most beautiful people in the planning been air. Won- feels I might say man immediate is just stocked full, the pretender gorgeous people men, women children dogs, everyone, there is a model they've every dog has their own Instagram account so funny, that whole foods, every some two weeks into this and just feeling everything and not putting it on someone else to do something about it. You know, not making someone else responsible woman responsible for or port, you know, something to get it out of me. Get it outta me in remember, walk through that whole foods in. I'm on a mission. I'm hearing the whole foods lingering loitering flirting or or checking out just gonna get my vegetables in my, you know, in my pot roast than a fucking outta here in Mark. I was so alive, my body. I remember I felt like I was walking through the whole foods. Like I was a giant cock. I remember reading this. I wanted to just fuck the world want every man woman child metaphorically. Don't take that literally, but I just was like my energy felt so Alicia alive in penetrating that just oh my God. It was so invigorate that, like staying alive was playing on. The whole. Like walking that. Oh, dude, I had totally destroyed on John Travolta. That maybe. And man, never forget, as long as live, because it was I spent a few weeks is being with my experience, feeling everything that I was feeling not hiding anymore. Not leaking it out. Not just get it out of me. And it was incredibly invigorating, and that was sort of what's on the other side in my experience of what I felt one of the things that was on the other side of not using sex to avoid pain. Yeah. Or using them in energy in any way to avoid pain. What was on the other side of that is I had to go through some pretty terrifying. Moments of what am I gonna do who's going to a Malone here? All fucked got him in a die as got through that. Oh, wow. The awakening in my body and my mind and my spirit and my sexual was just it was grading. Yeah, I definitely started to. I went through a very hard time where it was like a drug. I wanted to text like girl at a connection with or like a something that I knew wasn't it? And so I remember being like you can't you can't like. This isn't serving your greater engine. Are you what you choose? And I would constantly ask myself that are you what you choose. Are you what you choose is this? You want to be in. That would be the guiding thing that I made my integrity, more important than my biology is the frame. But as you said, I sat through I was like a feeding and I finally rejoined the nineteen year old version of me that I left at the house when I got heartbroken. I finally sat through that heartbreak finally felt that cried while and reasons how many years later was a fuck man v sixteen. Wow. You know, in, in even Mauri vi- access to probably two years ago. But yeah, I never given Nineteen-year-old me permission to be so sad heartbreak. 'cause I had somehow constructed this idea that that's not normal for a man, you know, but even secretly, obviously listening to, like boys to men into the road. Die. Glove dance on speaker that would make everything he mainly better. But it wasn't God. You know, ignorance is bliss. That's drew, I get that statement. But I also of responsibility that awareness brings. You know, because nothing can never have it in my life that is in doubt of my choosing. Now in this harmful way to feel even like if a woman walks out of my life. If my Barner left me tomorrow, she doesn't take me with her, but I was codependent than I didn't know like my relationship was clearly, my life. Because when I lost her, I felt like I lost everything and what a beautiful journey of experienced annot that everything for all of us has happened up until this moment, teach us wisdom, and pain and shame in as what it's like turned towards it. You're like Yoda waiting to happen. You don't need some other Yoda us need to listen to yourself, like foggy, you know, there's so many brilliant wise, emotionally, deep men are not allowing themselves access to that in, you said, turn towards face it feeless hotel issues. And if you can't hold it, yet, get a group amendable that with you a woman will be able to hold it because that's what women do. Get a group of men to hold it to change your story. About men to see what's possible. Alesi Philip says his idea of like be around people who are the way you want to be. She calls them expanders, which I think we all think like, you know, the closes people in your life. Are they do is they neurologically give you an idea of hope, which I think, is a really cool, like Lucy, the model of what you wanna be in? It's already there. So you will naturally damp to become. Beautiful male. I think we've said is, yeah, I feel like I just sat through my therapy of myself I was. And you I got to know a lot more value. I've really enjoyed your story and I mean, we've known each other, I think, but seven years now. Yeah, man, I love having now listened to the verbal expressions of what I was reading when you're. So thanks, awesome. Brother will, thank you so much for suggesting this in for coming back on. We'll do this again when come up with some more topics. This is really a fun Evelyn of this cast. So. Here. Think about this because I think there's other subjects, obviously we'd love to talk about. But if people don't want us to talk about it, they just want. That's great. But I'm super excited with people think. Yeah. All right. So good to have you. Thanks for having me. Thank you so much for listening. And thanks again, to Mark groves fine. Mark at Mark grows dot TV and at create the love on Instagram he's putting out some really great content. So definitely follow him on Instagram, all links books resources anything, you heard mentioned here will be in the show notes at Brian Reeves dot com slash men, this way podcast. And if you're interested in doing the thirty day challenge, or just do a for couple days, or a couple of hours, the sex, dating flirting hunting and hoping diet, you can find that at Brian Reeves dot com slash dating diet, Oregon, it'll all be there in the show notes, if you know someone who needs to hear this, please, share this episode with them now. And finally, please take a moment to leave a review of men this way on your podcast app. Your words really do make a difference and don't forget to subscribe yourself. While you're at it. I'm your thriving life and relationship coach. Brian Reeves, Bryan with a Y Reeves until soon. Keep your head up your breath relaxed, and your thoughts. Inspire.