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The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists, he's a sex part. But if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out, there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up you? Call. The not. But not. Hello, everybody. And welcome to my brother. My brother and me an advice show for the modern era. Oldest brother Justin McElroy. I'm your middle is rather. Chaz MAG writes, an interesting energy, Justin. Yeah. It's weird. I'm sweet baby. Brother, thirty thirty media luminary Griffin McElroy. I don't know if you'll solve the news. You all did on the call. But y'all who are listening to the episode proper? We're going to be writing book comic book five issues, the one April. Prefer funny book their classification, Sers comics and graphic novels and my art is funny books. Funny books. I like to do the funny pages. Silly silly papers. It's called journey and mystery is part of the one is if Thor fight series about four fight twenty nineteen fighting everyone on this one. And we are I guess the big headline here is or writing a funny book be out in April. But we are also officially workers with wolverine you. Yeah. Three cubicles down from Logan. So what's so I'm in a completely different department from Logan and my interactions with him are all in the kitchen, and they are pretty bad because of all the pranks. He does to me I'm kind of his Dwight he did my stuff in jello and he stabbed my dad, you know, three times semi dad wants. But it Canada's three because he has three knives. How is he like being near him as he listened a lot of music or? Motherfucker comes along. Not like just under the level of loud enough that you would feel comfortable saying something to Gladys the office manager. Yeah. Like you saying gladys's like Seinfeld loud? But it's loud enough that like I can't not hear it. Yeah. Hi, hi, guys. It's me the manager Justin. Hi, justin. Hi, jessica. I couldn't help. But over here you all talking about Logan. I'm not sure that you're really producing the healthiest work environment with these kinds of comment. Just just real quick. I did I left a note on your desk like four HR about the dad stab gets it. So I feel like it's weird that you're coming to me for this. I don't want to have toes. But I feel like the humming thing is like as bad as the dads stabbing thing. Well, it mice multiply by three because again three knives in this guy's hand. But he comes every day Gershon. Okay. Well, that's a fair point. Listen, guys. Why don't you take a seat, and we'll get this all sorted out? Boy, see ours. That was the chair scooting back. That's me sitting down in it Burkey. Could you get Burkey? Can he get Logan down here? Oh, goodness. Burkey get Logan got here and ask him to confront him. He's gonna get mad. Okay here. It comes. He's gonna stay completely silent. Traps. Don't yell at me. He's flip flops again. Man, Logan, if you could just sit right there you remember? Mm. Travis and Griffin. Halo. Halo. Logan. I'm sorry. Can he put the knives in his hand? Like when we're doing this. I feel like I feel like it's a little threatening. Just like, I don't know how you snicked him out. At Santa makes me go back in like just just see when you had just one of them out like the middle finger. He did he. That's what we're talking. That's the kinda shit. We're talking about Logan guys sloppier knife back up in your hand. And let's talk about this adults Logan put away. Thank you. Logan. I said put him away Logan. Well, see this. How am I supposed to do Marvel's accounting work and write a comic book while Logan's doing this Logan? This is uncomfortable. This let me back up you've given a lot of great work to this company. We love the blue and orange and yellow suit. We are wild about the orange and Brown one. And then one day you just refuse to wear costumes at all. And you just can't top and jeans, which I m jumping I was a fan. Thank you. We were all trying to let that slide Logan. But at this point we. Hey, guys. Do we have three careful always say about a lot of things. Now. This is just how curry me is try to inhabit this great character. No comedy is all about just being offensive and being an offensive rude boy. And so I think we can say whatever we want Dell mate devil may care. Yeah. I think Justin Frankenstein, teen become the monster. Yeah. Deadpool sucks there. We can't say that marvel. I don't think you should say that I enjoyed this research quite a bit. I just watched actually I just watched the second half of the second. This is being a father the first half of the second one two months ago thought I should circle back. The second one. Hey, can we get back into the bit? Oh, hold on. Okay. Okay. Logan. I just wanted to say that like you may think you're hot shit with your knife hands by just want to say we are. We are the ones writing this particular comic. And I don't think you are necessarily in it. But we could put you in it. And then I like, for instance, I ride a scene where magneto gets up close to you and farts, so bad, and you smell it in die like an idiot. Yeah. You know, what we don't even need to write you into it. We just have a character say like Logan told me to eat poop, and yeah, we spider-man's. It's too bad about wolverine. And then somebody else what's wrong. It's by magneto foreigners facing smell of it so bad he died like an idiot, and like maybe K Bishop as I heard that Logan went on a waterslide so fast underpants thought. I thought he was really embarrassed. So he's naked all the time. Yeah. I am e sounds like Bandidos heart lingers in all sideburns and stuff like that wolverine, you that would you? I don't care, dude. I've got no more dads to stab, but you sound all the dads. Wait. It's my dad to hold on. This is just a currying to me. Logan. Yeah. We make him have a like a tattoo that says Limon diet coke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey on this topic. Could I could I like solve the, you know, the big fight that we're writing with like me Griffin and stopping it. And then like I get to be in the movies. This is my favorite thing that people who like, right. Get their own comic series like TV shows or whatever they make character. And like they established like that. Character is low key not LOKI low key the. The strongest character in like, the comics universe shirt like you just introduced Griffin and. Yeah. Invincible and two times stronger than the hulk and he shoots webs better than Spiderman. Yeah. Have we don't have Peter Parker and ours, but like this this sort of example, work better if we do what if we had a scene where Spiderman took off his mass, and it was Peter Parker. And then everybody's like gasp, and he's like, oh, you ain't seen Nevin yet. Any pulls it off it. It's me, and it's actually shit when me the entire time. Yes. Like the twenties. We'll be better than he tears off his suit. And it's the hulks body Justin's head and face. I don't need that much. I'm happy. If like Thor comes back to like, I don't know finish his his big fight or whatever. And where's he been? Well, he's been with me. And I've been coaching him. I'm Thors lifeguard. I see and without me. And he says this numerous times without Travis. I am nothing. I'm not the most powerful. But like most powerful needs me. And I'll I'll just ride into Thor finds his strange father Thor senior, and that's me. And then on stabs, dad. If we have time we'll find room to work in the undoubted stabbing. Yeah. Yeah. We have Spiderman say, you know, a great man was told me with great power, great responsibility. And then someone else says, oh, yeah, you're been and then Peter Parker says no the only thing my uncle been ever told me is hey shut up wheel on joy, this rice and enjoy and the Yankees have no hitting this year. Those are the two things uncle bid ever said to me. No, my best friend. Justin McElroy, a grown adult said this things to me. And it really inspired me a changed my life. I'm never forget. When Justin was gunned down by those gangsters while saving all those orphans puppies and his dying and his dying breath. He say with great power because great responsibility Spiderman two and. And they got one more thing in before he died and it was bothering smell magnet. And in later when no one expected it he came back. Greatest hero of them. All superman too. Squared man. Times hoke. So plus. Just about this time has been superman on hoax shoulders. With iron man suit on sorry about your luck. Hitler. Oh, yes. From the forties. I love that vibe. That's that's also super Justice catchphrase. He says all the time even when not fighting Hitler. Yeah. So popular that one twenty five Hitler. He can't stop saying. We do eat send this part to a low like the first thirteen minutes to a lawyer just to protect like have the lawyer just to have a lawyer look at it. And check check our work. Just kind of make sure it's all clear it's called journey into mystery comes outta April tent, and it's gonna be like five issues. So a bunch of people said, you should've waited ten days. And it's like, yeah. Those decisions we get to make. Uh-huh. Out we called up the marvel president people, and we're like. Do you guys know about weed? Yellow-bellied right asked Maki about weed. Okay. So he way this podcast. It's an my show or something we say that it's so much more. It's really more of a family at this point and family so much less some families podcast. We're getting to the point where it's finally feeling like family, folks. So I was cleaning out my closet over the holiday season and are found this unwrapped present hiding in about corner. It's a Christmas present still wrapped from four years ago that my now roommate gave to me to give to one of our other friends, obviously never did that. So what do I do if I open it and keep it? My roommate will. No, I never gave his person I was supposed to should. I just keep it in my closet forever. That's from poor present transporter in California. I'm going to assume then that that's a misprint in the beginning where you say you found an unwrap present. And then say it was still route you probably meant you found a rap Tennyson unwrapped. We'll everything's just an unranked president. Yeah. Yeah. Actually express except for explicitly wrapped presence are not them. Hey, this is a bad Rouge. You've got going because there's a there's a there's a huge sort of failure point here in it. And it's that the roommate will at some point have roommate could extensively find out that the person they meant to give the present who'd never received it. And whether they go to their house Punchbowl Punchbowl Punchbowl look for the Punchbowl. Where's the Punch Bowl? And it's not there or they explicitly just like say, hey, do you ever use that Punchbowl? I got you. Then like the jig is up. And then they're gonna soon that like you stole it pundit. Did you I've been meaning to ask you did you like that fair it I bought, you know, it's you gotta you gotta fess up. I feel like I know that our position on these matters is usually very like, you know, zag on them twenty teen lie and steal and be bad. But listen, it's twenty nineteen. It's time for you to become the monster by which I mean, confront your fear of how bad this is going to be. Yeah. When you do own up to not delivering on this Christmas cheer because I'm not going to lie to you you fucked up pretty bad yet. But what if okay this different from advice, Eric given? But what if you just walked up to the other friends the ones that is supposed to get the president? And you say, hey, I fucked up real bad. My roommate our friend gave me this president gave to you. And I believe the forgot about it. It's dead for years. Yes. I fucked. But here you go, and and please don't tell them and. Never to you can't have one. I don't agree. If I'm looking at the if I'm looking at chart right now people who are angry. None. Right. If you give them the gift that person's angry instantly. There's one person angry if they tell your other friends that's two people angry and you're not feeling so hot yourself. It seems like everyone is more upset now that you have given this present way other thing is put it in the closet and forget about it. And then if your friend is like. Man, come on the Fred's it you could be like oh shit. Hold on let me fix it. And then they're Katamon. But you've pause -able deniability. It seems to me that if you suddenly just decided deliver it it seems very intentional that would make me much more frustrated than just letting the like we both have stuff go. Okay. Put it in your now. Roommates closet when they're not home like under or something. And then your roommate will be like, hey, what's this? What? So listen, I'm giving you to our one complete Archie to the deepest lie. You never gave it to me. Put it up put it in the recipients bed while they're sleeping any wake up. What I will say is what's going to really take the edge off this don't do it right now. Holy shit this close to the holidays. No way in may in in fuck in August, when you want you wanna big fun holiday, just get psyched out of your mind. But there's not a whole lot there for you. And then you get a Christmas present, it doesn't matter. How old it is? It doesn't matter. How how dusty how many cobwebs it's it's developed on its on tied. That's exciting Christmas in August. And then you give it to them. You say this is from me. Oh, okay. I don't like that. You don't know what it is? Always. That's good call. It might be shitty. Could be a framed picture of this person. Their roommate for me, a bigger view. How about a Yahoo? Sure. Yeah. I mean, here's one from Elliot. I think L eight it's an anonymous. Yahoo coming to call. Muscley james. I there's add there's a man running. Trouble is huge. Mostly James asks what is a polite way to pocket pick? These days when you hear about thefts dare is. It's usually not cute. The I feel like the Aira of the of the gentleman thief, or gentle person thief, is is is well over there easing that we can get going again by making by doing a polite pocket pick. Here's what you do. You waited an airport in like like say, I don't know Montreal right for a plane that just got there from America you pick their pocket and take their American money. But what's that you slip some Canadian bills? And I say, yes, so you have picked their pocket, but also they don't have to hit up the currencies inch now, but maybe the Travis McElroy gentleman thief exchange rate is going to be a little bit different. Well, yes. Absolutely. But I would pay a little bit extra to be saved having to interact. It with another human being while doing a change that I have no idea how it works. That's my nightmare. What what is there something that you can leave in there? There's something you can leave in there that will not only take the edge off. You will feel like you've come out on top of the equation. And I I'm having trouble. It's not candy. I feel it can be good for a second. They'd be like, well, I can't go to bars because have my shit anymore. Abetter wallet? Now, juice. Yeah. Does it there? Does it have money and stuff and cards in there? A better life a better life life, and they commit our life. Okay. Are you switching while is it the gentleman thief's switches your wallet with a different wallet that contains within its folds better life away forward for you and Janine and the girls a new chats F I few always sore you'd have. Credit yards. Yeah. Sure. Ed acceptance letter to that prep school trying to get the girls to for so long ever could quite pull it off. It's a new start Geneva's what we wait for we have to take this. It's it's a miracle. It's like the address on the driver's license. Like your new house? Exactly. It's a new start. There's pictures of well trained dogs, and you're all. Darrelle we can't just Darryl's dead. My name is Victor Victor chance. Why why name is Victor do chance and your name is still I guess there's no driver's license for United hours ISIS for you. Maybe go by myself to me, but I'm taking you girls with me. Let's be conspicuous. Nobody switches Janin's wallet. She's got a lot of money. And nothing going on. Really? No, no big. Closed doors for Janine. Big open but pocket. The way the wallet lives. That could be really good Justin just a new start. Maybe a little puzzle. Maybe yelled testing puzzle. Yeah. Does where it's like you try to get the little metal beads into the hose that kind of thing will any kind of puzzle really like a word. Search chairman any puzzle that you could go is probably equally funny. I would guess crossword doco, and you know, a lot of puzzles gag give it up you could say if you solve the puzzle you're gonna get your wallet back. I'm watching and they say they're and they spend a couple of hours working on the puzzle by the time they solve it. We're sitting on a beach in twenty percent. But then when they solve it. We do have to give their wallet back trap. Did you not fucking here? What I said. But you said that if they saw that you would give their wallet back, but I can't travel because unless they're on the beach earning twenty percent with me, you would go back to where they are. But at a twenty percent needs me there at the why tell them Griffin why tell them to solve the puzzle. Then if you're not going to give it back because it seems like a waste of time. What about a lot of ticket? Now, if you do that a million times. Somebody is going to be held by that somebody's going to be helped by that. And then karmic Li like, your I think you still imagine. If it happened the first time Griffin. All I wall. I feel you put one thirty eight million dollars or whatever that is a barrel of beans. You're not gonna keep pickpocketing after that shoot. I'd be so freaking peo- your fires gone out. You don't wanna pick any pockets do people still pickpockets when a criminal wants something from me? I feel like they usually go to really less savory. I was convinced growing up the anywhere where there were more than three people. You are ninety five percent likely to get pickpocketing. Interesting is so I think maybe what happened is the wallet chain made the gentleman pickpocket go extinct. Yeah. Oh attached to them. I saw a lot of wallet chains in the late nineties early arts, and I never saw one of them prevent theft, and dammit I really wish head because that would have been so funny. I did see them facilitate a lot of skateboard accidents. Let's say 'cause I'll tell you this. If I pull a wallet out of jingo jeans, which were made to be stolen. From what what they're John on some sort of Colonel game. Game for kids. Like, this is the kids version of ski ball. I could steal a wallet from one pocket while dunking a tennis ball full force into the other one. They would be none the wiser. But then they would have the wallet chain. I bet you dollars to doughnuts. If it was me, and I was at the mall. I got this wallet. And I pulled it and then had the initial snapback of hitting that that that chain tension, and then the skater looks back at me. I bet you I could pull that wallet hard enough to either ripped pants. Or break the chain. I could either ripta pants or break the chain. And now you're in a real pickle because one your pants are torn and messed up and they're falling down. Everybody's laughing at you wolverine or two I have now of weapon on a chain that I can use against you have a wallet flail. How about another question? Yes. Be okay. I tend to sneeze rather loudly. I'm not doing her bizarre. Anything? How I always. A few days ago work. I noticed cocoa mind. Give me a dirty look after I sneeze. I fear. I was just imagining things about an hour later when I noticed her glance over my direction and then see so loudly. She was nearly screaming. Should I shook it off creaming or does this? That's at you at Appalachia. Hey, listen. It's me just I've got a lot of human foibles of faults. This is coming from a place of one hundred percent. Humility my heart is open to you should see quieter. Just you just should sneeze a little quieter. And I don't think you consciously make the choice every time you sneeze to seize very loudly. But I think you made a you did make one time when you were seven and you said fuck it was fine. This is gonna blow the doors off these mother fuckers here go, and then you blew it up, and then years and years and years and years later, you don't remember as being conscious choice, but my thing for you would just be one thing to work on twenty nineteen with just beat a sneeze quieter more. Or at least like carry a thick flannel. Handkerchief that you might muffle said see that it did you did you sleeve it. Did you cover that you gotta cover that fan pie? Because if you sneeze that loud, low shit become the monster, folks, if you've got a sneeze vamp. A vampire. It's not that there are people who are like why did you pick a bad thing and say people do bad stuff. We're not sleeve. It sneeze. It it can mean so many things if you take it to mean that you should do bad things, and you are already a bad monster. I offering let me say this. You're looking at you like do I need another cookie? Hey, become the answer. Yes, for sure. Okay. Anyway, we're getting so far away guys. The anger is probably the angriest I've ever been in my entire life is being in a room of people working and somebody does one of those screams this one of the sneezes where they scream in the first part. You know what I mean like to? Like, and then they look at the give that look like. Aw, shucks. That's just the way. I. It's fucking not just sneeze quieter, please for the rest of us. Just sneeze quieter. Your vocal chords are still putting that stink on it. You're coming. This is coming from Justin who used to do like a drum roll. But right. I used to. Different ways. He did he would like tissue. Nice out. He would really do it. I sounded like Yoshi doing butts Dom. But I was saying it was just a way to get attention. We all do these things in school, and then we grow, and we move past them you have to stop sneezing so loudly you're bothering everyone. Please think about it just seems quieter. You can do it. I believe in you. You don't need to get in a sneeze five at this person does a professional environment. But can I say something about me if this person falls my sage of ice and they start seizing quiet quieter than like his co worker. Let's call. Let's call that person shimmy. So when shimmy notices the next time, you sneeze and it's quieter. Shimmy is going to think that she's cowed wine. Yes, she's one through our would say some very shameful play. Then might I. Okay. Jess when I wake trying out Charvis. You started talking very quickly. Sometimes when that happens, the the sounds are funny, but the ideas are bad or challenge. Uh-huh. And I think, wow, he won't even let me get through the sense. When I tell you to think about the ideas these extremely jealous. Hi, I'm is so quickly. Just open a Fresca. Along let me get comfortable because I've tried to help you twice preemptively. There won't be no post emptive help what you're about to do. Okay. You're going to start seeing in quieter, but prouder so when you feel sees coming on stand up, maybe put your foot up on the chair and like spread your arms like your to deliver. Like an operatic solo. Click Scott stapp. Yes knees. Politely, val. Should I went back down? That's good. You could also just like sees quieter and shimmy will sneeze louder and then come over and be like looks like mice was ladder. And then you gesture all over your desk, and you say, yes, but mine was wetter. I it was so wet. So you can keep your decibels. Let's let's take a brief sojourn at this point in the program and go peruse the wears over at the money. Welcome stranger. Welcome street. It's. I'm very excited. We tell you about ring ring's mission is to make neighborhoods safer with smart video doorbells cameras that protect millions of people everywhere. What does that mean you ask? Well, you connected to your phone wherever you are is a camera on the ring doorbell. It sends his motion or people can like, you know, push the button possible on your phone. You look at it. See who's there takes videos? If you're worried about like, people, stealing your packages and stuff, which I always am. Then this video doorbell is for you. Or if you just wanna see who's at the door before you like get up and go in it you need ring. And so as a listener, you have a special offer on a ring starter kit available right now with a ring doorbell and motion activated flood light camera. The starter kit has everything you need to start building. A ring of security around your home. Just go to ring dot com slash my brother. That's ring dot com slash my brother. Do you'll see via guy made a box, and it's shot litter where did fart spray when people stole it. Yeah. I guess that's fine. I didn't know there is spray until that video. How did I not know that that we have successfully synthesized it? I don't know. I guess they're not on the Boggs. There's no cure for canker sores, but we still we made spray. Good work science. Hey, here's one for quit. I brushed my teeth with it today. These are toothbrushes that are battery powered and used by Griffin one nation and shimmy in your mouth, they do a little Clinton's cleaning dance, and you put it in there for two minutes, and it has these sonic vibrations. And then it just gets those guys pearly white again. And it's wonderful. I'd like to travel with it because I have a little thing. And it's like a cover for it. But then you can turn it upside down and stick it on your mirror, and then like, it's a little holster for it. Like, it's a cool cowboy gun. So if you wanna get quick and have a cool toothbrush gun. I want you to go to get quip dot com slash my brother right now. And also when you do that, you get your first refill pack of toothbrush heads for free. They've got over one million happy healthy mouths, so get your mouth happy and healthy to the toothbrushes started just twenty five bucks. And you get your first refill pack for free at Q, IP dot com slash my brother. John film fans here me, I know you're out there. Do not be ashamed of your love for core action scifi fantasy it's time to come out of the shadows. Because I'm switchblade sisters. We celebrate our love for John films. I'm film critic April wolf each week. I have a conversation with different female filmmaker about their fav-, John realm, and we cover film Pratt getting projects off the ground working with actors in our general love for genre movies. I've had so many great guests like Heather Graham in the past. It's so many films are made by men at the female point of view is not always respected, which is why all these stories have come out till now Jennifer's body director KARN. Kusaba? I think there's a lot more fantasy and a lot more expectation projected onto a woman director comedian and actor caper Lynn, I mean, it sounds so cheesy to talk about it in yourself like you just keep going. You know, I'm just a vessel. Like, I I just do, you know, I don't think that is what it is and many others so checkout switchblade sisters every Thursday. Maximum fun dot org or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you Lynn? New ringing in. In in. Oh. To want to. Did you do to do to gain more operatic? That was very like a min like like, a medieval dark ages fife thing. I I have to this week. And some we do a combo because they're both less substantial either one would have been a good much quad junior. But I'm gonna do one conversion rate too much quad juniors. Yeah. Bums me out. I'm gonna go ahead and say, oh, no Tibo teams with corps life eatery for food revolution. Ono come to Tim tvos food revolution. The first paragraph of this fast food press release says what if you could change your life and just twenty one days professional athlete? Tim Tibo is teaming up with Corliss eatery and active lifestyle restaurant are variety of greens grades embroiled based dishes to do exactly that Tibo is taking the Corliss challenge. And it wants you to join him. So that this is. Corliss challenges a twenty one day, food or Lucien all of these days, assuming you will eat a life eatery to imagine that's a brand build around clean eating which doesn't mean anything. It's funny what they chose to eat at this restaurant. Challenge. That's the case that I did I unconsciously did the Windies challen in college a lot. So. Promoting overall wellness it encourages you to take control of your health. Although I would argue if you're eating at the same restaurant over day, you're letting Tim Tiba take care of your hair. Hey. Corliss Tim tebow? Are you? Okay. Are you worried about you? I'm stopping you at the door with my football body corps, life, eatery and co-founder. Todd Mansfield who spent deca decades practicing physical therapy and functional medicine, which means lying. Trading nutrition designed the challenge to provide simple guidelines to improve health and also presumably tricks to get people to eat at the same place. Twenty. In a row during these toy Jay, you'll get recharge refueled not refunded though. Your personal joining journey turns Livia healthier lifestyle and living in fucking like green becoming the healthiest version of yourself that challenge begins on Wednesday. January sixteenth and you're gonna get daily emails. Helpful tips special offers to help you stay motivated and on track from Tim T-ball. I guess. Tim. Are you come into the restaurants? They were almost you. In this there yesterday. And I'm worried you might be dead because you're not eating healthy. From Tim tebow footballer far best performance, we need the very best food says Tim tebow who's credited here as a corps life eatery enthusiast. His parents must be so proud, congratulations. Tim Corliss eatery provides top quality fuel your body needs to detox refuel and begin twenty nineteen with by getting on the path toward being a healthier, you detoxing, of course, can be performed by anyone with kidney or liver. You don't aim Tim tebow to make you chicken? The tip Tebas special ticket every day detox. Any can let that help if Tim tebow massage your liver and kidney. Can the three of us get Cleveland Browns fullback refrigerator Perry to do a challenge for us. And it's just like eat wherever the fuck you want. I don't eat it t-boz place. Don't place. Place four three calendar weeks. It's me refrigerator Perry. Just go to fucking Taco Bell, or whatever I want to the person who is like man, I gotta get my life on track Twitter at team. I know I'm gonna let him Tibo make all of my meal. So here's an here's some more news. Fuck don't let him Tibo lie to you. And overcharging for lettuce baskin-robbins as new brownie inspired flavors to the menu. That is one pretty challenging inspired. I have to say, brownie inspired flavors menu. It's like a has a spirit of a brownie without any of the actual contents. Baskin Robbins is ringing in twenty nineteen with a brownie leverage dream, come true brownies. Shits finally figured it out. We sell brownies cool. Right. Yeah. Guess the January flavor of the month, brownie bar, mash up is delicious combination of traditional chocolate and blonde brownies. It delivers onto delicious, brownie flavours one bite. Ice-cream fans also find themselves under a sweet spell this month. Number thirty one returns to Baskin. This flavor em- L ultra. Combination white chocolate flavored ice cream Agent, Orange and raspberry flavored ice cream with chocolate flavored chips. I wanna fucking lose. Okay. We'll try again. Okay. White chocolate flavored ice cream and raspberry flavored ice cream and chuckled flavored chips and raspberry filled. Chocolate flavor hearts raspberry swirl. Sure to work its magic on every guest as it is already were him hypnotic linguistic magic on me. Here's a quote Karel Austin, Carol. Hey, it's just Maccarone local reporter for much squad. It's January, right. We're all eat at tvos place to give how are you justifying continuing to operate this month? Did you shudder? Who who who would pledge to eat more ice cream in this month of new beginnings fresh start, well, Carol her eyes dart back a for the cross the room nervously before she hesitantly answers. Sweat beading on her upper lip. Well, just in our mission is to help guests flavor every moment. Okay. Carol. Let me stop you there. Okay. Go on. Our mission is to help. Guess flavor. Every moment and January's offerings are here to do just that whether your resolution is to a silence fills the room people, wait expectantly as Carol also vice president of marketing tries to sell ice cream in January. Whether your resolution is to. Reconnect with old friends or shit. Enjoy more family time Baskin Robbins has something to help everyone. Hip pause and savor the start of twenty nineteen careless. Good track. It sounds like good ice cream. It sounds confusing ice cream. Hey, gang, two things real quick one. William the refrigerator Perry. Paid played for the the bears the Browns. And I just wanted to say, I just wanna apologize to my dad forgetting football fact, wrong, our podcast and the other thing hold on net. Cut out for second before you back to the show. I did want to mention I think you said William refrigerator Perry. Played for the Browns, dad points. Yeah. Hey, sorry. I stepped away for a second to go. Get a glass of water did want to say real quick Griffin. It was the Baier's not the Browns that refrigerator shape. Guys stepped way to get a screwdriver for some shelves Soling on. Earlier you mentioned about William refrigerator Perry. My dad points. They're fl- flying through my fingers. Hey, guys. Sorry. I just traveled back forward in time from the past where I just watched William refrigerator Perry. Play for the bears. What do you guys talk to you about shoot? Hey, guys, become unstuck in time. But I think just sired William refrigerator Perry wild. And he had a we had a birthmark shaped like a bear. Okay. Means anything second thing. Everybody. Please Kreis go to Corliss eatery dot com and scroll down to the bottom of the page where you will find a picture of Tibo whose face is making a face as if you have just told him that everybody else. Eight all the corps life Avery. We got delivered. And there's none left for him. And he's making this incredulous face. That is so incredible. So incredible. That this is what they. What do you mean all the Corliss eatery? What about all? My orange drinks. Orange drinks. Vegetable bowl is robe all the way here. I should've called first the tagline that they've gone for with this challenge. By the way, is it says is like four times the website, it only takes twenty one days to change your life, high that sound Spiring at all I've never done anything for twenty one days ever and my life is oh. Way is the way that it is. I don't even go to places I want to go to three weeks in a row corps life eatery. I'm gonna take this challenge. And see what Tim says about the fact that I'd have to drive five hundred miles. Sorry, everybody who doesn't live in a major metropolitan area. Your life stays the fucking. Go outside and chew leaves like a cow. Tim Tim would do. Hey, I've got a Yahoo. I just love the picture up. Tim. It's real good this one sending by gram Roebuck. Thank you Graham, who answers user, Melanie who asks. I forgot when my job interview is how do I go about asking? When my interview was without appearing irresponsible. This is so choice Rohn. Oh, that's rough. I'm trying to think of a wording. Hi this. I'm calling can't lie. They won't tell you. This is the delectable little confess. Yeah. No, I did it I but you didn't say piss because it's new year. And I'm trying not to cuss this much could you pretend to be a competing job. Nope. Compete now. Hold on. I do want to hear what Travis thinks competing job is. I'm going to hire Henriette. Okay. So I'll interview her when you were going to was that nothing now. That's good. No, that's good. The name was the name was Melanie. It's good. It's good. The idea of poaching job interview. What about falling say, I can't wait to start work. Let's move that interview up. The better say when the I choose the interview time, what are you doing right now? And then you knock on the door. I know my interview was supposed to happen at a later time. But I'm so horny for it. I mean excited for it shit. Fuck. Oh, no sorry that I wanna do it right now. Please your interview with two months ago, you've been working here for two months. Yeah. Whatever gonna do fast. Why don't you? Call the boss. And the you say hi, this is Shelley from Helen. Oh, your lights. Yeah. Go for CoCo. Okay. You didn't put on your lively. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. You're so you say hi, this is Shelley from human relations. And I was getting get an edible arrangements for everybody. That has a job interview this month, and could you just list off to me with the times? So I can get it. Get the one personalized. And have it ready for their interview time. Now, I went to say Justin that the the department human relations does make it sound like Shelly works in the sort of sex acts. Well, you could just say you work at aliens. Okay. You could just say you work at edible arrangements and say you wanna give free deliveries to everybody who has a job interview today because dammit, edible arrangements loves jobs. So. We're just so excited that the economy's is thriving. Maybe and our shit is really just some apples we dipped in chocolate. So there's very little overhead as say we'd like to offer our facility for you to do your job. You know, what we interviewed Melanie for you? Hey, it's me. It's me from the bakery bakery. Joe I got a cake here that says happy job interview. Melanie? So when you went to dropped off like that that could work how about this. Check this out a Richard. Yeah. Ooh. This is Dr frito lay. I heard you had an interview Melanie coming up, and I say just hire she's the tops. Anyway, gotta go crunch. That's a Suming. I guess that cheese interviewing for frito lay at. Yes, right that right. You could you could fit in whatever you wanted to there. You could just roll up to the waiting area in front of the office and just start sitting there now and just say like punctuality is really important to me. So I wanna be here. Right, right. When you need me for the interview, and they'll be like it's in nineteen days. And you say well good thing. I brought all this soup. The soup that you brought exactly nineteen cans one a day. That's all you need, folks. It's me, Tim Tibo. And I'm here to tell you your shit all around nineteen day soup talent. Tony more the one cast day things. A lotta was salt. Not Tim Tibo soup. His made out of football sweat today. I went to New York City. I was at Gatorade. In New York City would girlfriend, and we decide sick a short taxi drive, rather. The take the subway, however taxi rear ended the city bus. Oh shit. Jeez. The driver jumped out screaming at the bus driver. Now are sitting in the back arguing whether we have to pay for a ride still and whether or not we should flee before the police arrive brothers help us, and that's from traumatize taxi travelers in New York City. I'm assuming hypothetically along with typing of the question, I'm assuming with therapeutic for you in that once you finish typing, it you're like, well, we certainly do have to stay here at the cab. Don't we really don't have options here? Dares got we we don't have to spend a lot of time on this one gang. I'm almost one hundred percent certain. You are not the first people to be in a cab accident there has to be precedent for this one. I think I don't know that good news is if you do run away. Day was the cab driver going to do follow you in their cab. Don't rip off cab drivers, we should we should be explicitly clear that you shouldn't rip off cab drivers. It's it's a question of what do they owe? You they they made you be in a crash I'll long were you in the cab before like where you almost destination. Then you need to say pay like you just sat down on the cab, turn a corner. Hit a buzz move it along. Did you just maybe ask the taxi driver who's having a very bad day? Oh, yes. Oh, probably ask them. You are witness though, you were a witness to the crime. I don't think you can flee because you witnessed it. It wasn't a crime as much as it was a New York whoopsie. Okay. You're a witness to the woopsie in a New York with who. If I ever make a four thousand witness to the woopsie is just at the. I was a witness to the woopsie. Yeah. Ask the cabdriver or Google it. What do you do if you're all fucking Gula for you here? Let me just do it. I don't wanna get snide. But what do you do? Do g's tight much. If you're you're in a cab, and it gets in a New York, see. Also, search how to be on cash cab is is it like a submission thing. Or do they just randomly pick people out? I mean, there's a whole website here called juice Chea, which may be Justin's website. But he missed typed it at the end and put a instead of in. And do you have to pay though to be on cash cab? If you lose cash cap you have to pay when you get to your destination. Do they drop you off of you lose? And you don't get to go to your destination. I've never watched cash cab. Oh, I think my Skype might have caught up, and you guys not hear me travel. Here's another question. Pay him. I just decided to pay the pay look at the meter pay with their. Yes. A while ago. I fold an oh, but wait they don't have cash. They're planning to use a card use the fucking card reader probably didn't explode into. That shouldn't look suspicious a while ago. I fold origami dragon for my math teacher. The teacher asked me if I was getting origami, and I said, yeah. Sort of she didn't ask can you full books to make words. I socially napped wanting to exit the conversation quickly as possible said, yes, which was a complete and total lie. She gave me an old math book to fall into her last name. I have no clue how to full books. I do this. How can I stay is awful to us ticks? I looked at the we're a week and I keep making excuses. Oh, I haven't started yet. From a clever. Name putt. If only books for something can't even be bothered to make a name bad enough that you're agreeing to full books in the words. Books already have words in them. That's right. Yeah. So you should just give her back. The original book and say like there, you go one word filled book hot and fresh ready to order. I'm looking at full books. I'm looking at it. Now, it's like if you if you fold a bunch of pages in a row in a way that then makes a pattern up here. See can like, you know, fold one page, and that's like the very left side of the J. And then it needs to be a long book. If you're spelling out Jonathan Taylor Thomas, a long long long. Nice that your teacher said, oh, thank you for this present. Now, let me give you a chore to do. Yeah. It's presence lovely mega me a bigger better presents. I mean, I'm looking at Oetzi, and we're talking about this a forty dollar product that you are giving giving to them for free. I could do one where I just sort of sort of roll the pages a little bit. And then tuck it back into the spine and just do that with all the pages can give it back in the heaters. Like, this doesn't say anything, and you say yes, it does. It says because it looks like a bunch of 'em's could you just wait until you graduate and not worry about it anymore after that that could be good. You could also get a sharpie out and right Derek on the side of the book or find someone on Oetzi. And by the book from them already Senate to them say hail, you do this for me. And now your the like middleman of origami, why did you lie so bad? I tell you what's worth trying is to go to the teacher and say, I couldn't do it. And I thought I could but your names too hard. And it's got a lot of bad letters in it for or from an origami perspective. It's got a lot of bad letters. And I couldn't do it. And I try, but I couldn't do it. And I'm sorry. But I couldn't do it. I decided said to focus on my studies, right because I'm child, and then you teachers like my name is Joe and just J O. So but the oh is the hard. Oh, is it really toughie because had he got a curves in their gimme angles all day long. Hey, why did you lie so bad though? This seems like a weird one I get wanting to get out of the conversation. But in my experience, no is the much better record for pretty much most things if someone tries to improv you and you say, no. Individ prov you're out of there. But if you say, yes, and now you have to you know, what are you going to say next about the grocery store here Griffin? Let's try it day. Hey griffin. Are you any good at origami? You tell me. Great. Can you fold books into words? No, I hate you you fail fail. They've all no out of school now off the football team. Now. Okay quarterback. All right. Let me try converse conversation. Still over though. Isn't it travel me? Let me try asked me. Okay. Hey, are you any good origami? Hell, yeah. Well, don't curse through school. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Dude. Hey, I heard that Darren is he is origami Steve good at origami dome. Fucking question. Think about it with your fucking brain before you get out of here cursing. Jerry, pursing Terry's, raping everywhere. Trying to. Oh shit. He's fold up. My vape fog in the air. Don't hurt. I'm gonna send you the whistles office. Outta here. Now, I'm sorry. Oregon receive. Yeah, I know you're going to Argonne me, can you fold books. I swear to God, cursing, Jerry. I'll call your dad. Okay. Can you fold books? Call your dad. Get the lunch. Taco tuesday. Now, can you fold books? No only bibles. Sit there and silence. The C tough toughness teacher. What's do then? See how much she'd love to see your name represented in the art of the fulling page. She's willing to destroy gots. Beautiful perfect award. Let's end this episode Elia. This has been so much fun. Thank you for hanging out with us. We love you very much you we had a really fun twenty eighteen with you. We're gonna have a great year together less, and you if you are anywhere near New Orleans, the no the Nola, I believe, I believe they call they call or maybe just no LA I don't actually know if you're anywhere near there or Birmingham, Alabama. We're going to be headed your way. So please come see us if you had to macro dot family. You can find the tourist section there, and you can see the places that we are going to be and that is going to be. Birmingham on February seventh and then New Orleans on February ninth adventures in February tenth with vindamme. Bam all show starting at seven pm and. Will be very fun. And we hope that you will come and join us because we're really looking forward to it. We've never been in that area. I've I've never visited either of the city's. So it's gonna be a hoot and a half. Also, even before that here in January, you can come see saw bones at sketch fest. The California academy of sciences on January seventeenth. It's a big show with us and Roger going to be there with on a bus, and you should know this, and John Colton Paul and storm and a lot of other folks, so sketch fest website get tickets for that. Also last thing, you can get remote attendance, or in person attendance. I guess for a pod con- that's going to be January nineteenth through the twentieth. And there's a lot of different pails. You can see that. And you can get remote. If you the reps I which is pot com dot com. So go for it and just mentioned earlier website, macro dot family got a bunch of stuff on there. If you wanna find out more about our shows or get the newest mercury of new pin for January is a stylish pin says unless on it, it's real slick. Yeah. That's all it macaroni family and thanks to maximum fun for having us on the network maximum, fun dot org. Check out all the great shows there. Thanks, John Rogers and the long winters for the us far themes on its at a party off the putting the days to bed. It's very very good. The song is and the album and the band, and you should go get the whole discography. So y'all want the final? Yes. Sending by Megan. Thank you. Megan. It's from an anonymous. Yahoo answers user must Lee James is back on my screen. Thank you. James? He's really curious and he asks. How many rocks can you fit in your backpack? Just Travis back ROY Griffin McElroy, my brother, my brother me kiss your dad's square on the lips. Maximum fund dot org, comedy and culture artist owned listener supported if you're looking for a new comedy. Why don't try the beef and dairy net? Took it won best comedy at the British book goes towards into seventeen and twenty eighteen also. No horses in this country until the mid to late sixties, especially bovine aspect of his is a squids is yoga buffet. She was married to obey confirm who saved her life. Farm raised snow leopard. Download it today the beef and dairy network put costs for maximum fun dot org. Also, maybe stopped on episode one. All widdly episode said he sakes, which for some reason requires no knowledge of the rest of the show.
My Brother, My Brother And Me
Aired 3 months ago 51:13
Listener discretion is advised. This episode includes discussions of violence, trauma and hate crimes that some may find offensive. We advise caution for children under thirteen. In eighteen forty one. A man named Solomon north up was working as a musician for a traveling circus when he was lured to Washington DC under false pretenses. When he arrived in the city, he was drugged kidnapped and sold as a slave. He had lived the first thirty two years of his life as a free man in the state of New York. At the time of his abduction. Solomon was married with three beloved children for twelve long years. He endured unimaginable hardship living as a slave on the Louisiana cotton plantation in all of that time. Solomon north up never stopped fighting for his freedom. Finally, through perseverance and bravery, Solomon escape slavery in return north. He wrote a detailed account of his experience titled twelve years a slave, but that was far from the end of Solomon store. Sorry. On a warm summer's night in Canada in eighteen fifty seven. Solomon was scheduled to give a lecture on the abolitionist movement but never delivered his speech. Instead, Solomon Northop vanished for the second time and had disappeared without a trace. But this time history never found him. Hi, I'm Richard and I- Molly welcome to gone the show where we searched for everything missing each week. We examined mysterious disappearances and the theories they spawned from the amber room to Michael. Rockefeller, Picasso paintings to the trust can language the Roanoke colony to the lost Russian cosmonauts. If it's gone, we're looking for it. You can find previous episodes as well as park has other podcasts on your favorite podcast directory. Some of you have been asking how you can support gone. If you enjoy the show. The best way to support us is to leave a five star review. Wherever you listen today will be investigating the disappearance of famed writer and abolitionist Solomon north up a man who was born free, but lived as a slave for twelve years after returning to his life as a free man, Solomon north mysteriously disappeared again. Years later in the summer of eighteen fifty seven to this day, his fate is unknown. Could he have been murdered? Was he abducted and sold into slavery? A second time? Did he become a spy for the union army during the civil war and never return? Or did he as some believe, dia natural death in the Canadian wilderness? We'll dive into all of these theories and more on this episode of gone. The eighteen hundreds were turbulent time for the United States. The country was still young and already there was conflict and division by eighteen o four. Slavery had been abolished in all of the northern states, but it was still an abundant and thriving industry in the south. Solomon Northrop's father Minto's was born a slave, but was later freed when his master captain Henry north died and granted him his freedom in his will mintues move to upstate New York and married. Solomon's mother, a free woman of color. When Solomon north up was born on July tenth, eighteen await. He liked both. His parents was legally free. Although Solomon didn't attend school, his parents were able to provide him with an exceptional home education. It's likely that meant this was given an education when he was a slave to captain Northop. Which he then passed down to his son. Solomon, Mary, his wife Ann Hampton in eighteen twenty eight when he was about twenty years old for four years Solman and an lived in rural New York. In the Saratoga area, they had three children, Elizabeth, Margaret, and Alonzo. Solomon north of worked a number of jobs to make ends meet. He was employed at various times as farmer carpenter and Aref builder, but he also gained a reputation as an excellent fiddle player. He was often in high demand locally as a musician. Eighteen forty one when he was thirty two years old. Solomon meant to white men who introduced themselves as Merrill Brown. And Abram, Hamilton work had been scarce that year and Solomon had been struggling to find employment Brown. And Hamilton told him that they were members of a traveling circus company. They were in desperate need of a musician for their performances in New York City. Almost two hundred miles away. Solomon accepted the offer. He didn't tell his wife and where he was going as he assumed the job would be over quickly and he'd be back home in no time, but to his surprise as soon as the shows in New York were over Brown and Hamilton big Solomon to travel with them to Washington DC to play more shows with them. The problem was that slavery was still legal in Washington DC. In fact, the city was the site of. One of the largest and most profitable slave markets in the entire country. Even though Solomon was legally a free man kidnappings of free people of color were all too common over three hundred kidnappings have been documented, and it's estimated that thousands more occurred that went unrecorded, but Brown and Hamilton offered Solomon more money more than he could turn down north would later write that quote danger to my personal safety, never suggested it self to me in the remotest manner and quote, despite the fact that he would be going into such inhospitable territory, he agreed to go to Washington DC, bringing a copy of his papers that documented his status as a free man as he headed self. The decision would prove to be a tragic one shortly after arriving in Washington, DC Hamilton and Brown drug Solomon with Bella Donna. He awoke in chains in a pitch. Black room. His papers were gone back in New York, his wife and their three children had no way of knowing where he was if he had attempted to write to them before leaving for DC, there's no record of them receiving his letter. As far as they knew he had just vanished. Solimon was sold to a slave trader named James Burge for six hundred and fifty dollars psalm and tried to tell his captors that he was a free man and was being sold illegally. But when he did so he was beaten almost to the point of death, fearing for his life, psalm and stopped claiming that he was free. James Birch, then shipped Solomon to Louisiana under the false pretense that he was a slave from Georgia. On the boats. Solomon met an English sailor who agreed to send a letter that detailed his kidnapping to his lawyer and childhood friend. Henry Northop a white man working as an attorney in New York. The shared last name is no coincidence. Henry was the nephew of Solomon's father's old master. The one who had freedom in his will this letter miraculously reached Solomon's friends and family back in New York. They now knew that he was alive and enslaved, but they had no idea where he was or how to find him after he was sent down the river to New Orleans. Solomon north of was given the name Platt which the slavers forced on him to help raced north of true identity. He was sold to a man named William Ford. Solomon described Ford as a good and generous man quote, who was blinded to the wrong of the system of slavery and quote as Ford sleigh. Save Solman, put his carpentry skills to good use. He helped him with the mills and movement of lumber up and down the river for a while. Solomon situation was better than the brutality. Many slaves found themselves faced with. Unfortunately, Ford had debts he needed to pay off and soon sold Solomon to John Tibo a carpenter who was working on Ford's land. Unlike Ford Tiba was short tempered and turned violent at the drop of a hat. Tibo immediately butted heads with Sullivan, a man who even in slavery, stood his ground in refused to be beaten into submission. Tibo tried to kill Solomon twice the first time to try to hang him with the help of his friends, but they were stopped in the Nick of time by one of John Ford's overseers. Solman was left tied up for hours until Ford returned and helped him the second time. Solomon Tibo got in an argument over the building materials. Solomon was using t. Bo attacked Solomon with an x intent on killing him. Solomon was able to fight him off survived, but he had to flee through dense swamplands to escape punishment. He was soon captured again and shortly after that incident Tibo sold Solomon to Edwin Epps. The owner of a cotton plantation in southern Louisiana EPs was even more violent and unpredictable than Tibo. He was notoriously cruel, and Solomon later wrote that apps would whip and beat slaves quote from sundown until lights. Out in quote, Solomon was Edwin Epps Leiw for ten, long years, enduring unimaginable torment. During that time in all of this time Solman never told anyone that he was legally a free man or even what his real name was. He knew that Louisiana was not a place that would be welcoming towards a Freeman of color, and he feared what is owners would do to him if he tried to assert his freedom after all, he had no proof and no allies around to help him. Solomon also knew that Epps was the type of person who would hold onto his property at all costs and would do whatever was necessary to make sure none of his slaves went free. Solomon would have to be both patient and careful in planning his escape. His patience eventually paid off in eighteen fifty to a Canadian carpenter named Samuel, bass, traveled to Epps plantation to do work on his estate. Solomon overheard best talking in favor of abolition and decided that he might be someone he could confide in. It was a risk, but it was one that Solomon would have to take. He hadn't told anyone about his past since trying to prove his freedom in Washington DC. Now a decade later, he would finally tell, Samuel, Samuel bass wrote several letters for Solomon, even though this could have landed him in jail for helping a slave escape. EPs was also a notoriously violent man, and he could have attacked or killed bass out of anger if the letters were found. But regardless of the danger, bass sent the letters north to Solomon's friend and attorney. Henry Northop Solomon and Samuel were. A very careful when writing the letters to never reveal Solomon's exact location or his true name. If the letters fell into the wrong hands, Solomon would undoubtedly be killed for plotting to escape the search that followed was a huge undertaking for Solomon's wife and the lawyer. Henry Northop and the state of New York in eighteen forty. New York had passed a law to protect its black residents by providing legal and financial help to those who are wrongfully abducted and sold into slavery. Out of state, Henry north of s the governor for help with Solomon's case and he appointed the new York Attorney General as Solomon's legal agent. The governor's interest may have been political to appeal to the abolitionist population of the northern state, or he may have taken a personal interest in Solomon's plight while his allies mobilized in the north Solomon Northop had no idea if his letters had even reached anyone or worse. If someone on. Unfriendly, head intercepted them. If EPs heard even whispers of what Solomon and bass were doing disaster would have followed for both of them. Eventually after months of tirelessly, investigating traveling across the south from plantation to plantation. Henry north managed to find Solomon on January third eighteen fifty three that Henry managed to find Salomon at all was a miracle in itself. We can only imagine how Solomon felt when he saw his friend arrive at the plantation after twelve long years of slavery. Henry gave Edwin Epps evidence that proved beyond doubt Solomon's true identity and status as a free man. Apps of course, was furious. He reportedly said that quote, if he had known, men were coming to take Solomon, he would never have let them take him alive and quote, EPs also threatened to kill the person that helps Solomon. But luckily even though Samuel bass was a known abolitionist, he had taken every precaution to keep his actions hidden from. On January. Fourth eighteen fifty three, Edwin Epps island papers, renouncing any claim he had to Solomon Northop. Now forty two years old. Solomon was once again, a free man, Solomon and Henry had won the battle, but they hadn't won the war on their way up north. They stopped in Washington DC the place where Solomon's nightmare had begun. They're Henry filed a legal complaint against James Birch, the slave trader who had a legally sold Solomon and shipped him to Louisiana. Birch was quickly arrested, but it was not going to be easy for them to prove his guilt. At that time in Washington DC. There was a law that prohibited black men from testifying against white citizens. This meant that Solomon Northop couldn't testify or give any evidence against James Birch. During the trial instead Birch made the outrageous claim that Solomon had approached him twelve years ago and told him that he was a slave for sale with no one to provide counter evidence Birch was found not guilty and walked free. Solomon also tried to file charges against Brown and Hamilton, the two men with the travelling circus company, but they were proving hard to find unbeknownst to Solomon. They had used fake names and carefully covered their tracks after leaving the city twelve years before. But things took a surprising turn in Solomon's favor on January. Twentieth eighteen fifty three. When the New York Times published an in depth article about Solomon's kidnapping recovery and failed trial against James Birch. Solomon's incredible story gained the attention of the entire country. Now, reunited with his family and a national media sensation to boot Solomon wrote and published what would soon become his famed, memoir twelve years, a slave. The book became an instant bestseller selling over thirty thousand copies in three years, an impressive feat for its time. It was read by famed abolitionist. Frederick Douglass, who praised both the writing and Solomon north of endurance. One of the books. Many readers was a judge named Thaddeus Saint John. When Saint John red Solomon's descriptions of the men who had called themselves Brown and Hamilton. He immediately recognized them as his old friends. Alexander Merrill and Joseph Russell during the time of Solomon's kidnapping Saint John had seen Maryland Russell traveling with a black man, and he remembered that they had asked him not to use their real names around him when they returned from Washington DC, Maryland Russell were wearing expensive new clothes and cracking jokes about money. They had just come into with Saint John's help. The two men were identified and arrested in the state of New York. Fortunately, in New York state, psalm Northop would be legally able to testify against his captors. The trial was long and drawn out. Each side argued over whether the crime had occurred in New York where Solomon's test. Tony could be used or whether it had happened in Washington d. c. where it couldn't two years of appeals followed after the start of the trial. During that time, a new attorney general was appointed in New York. He decided to drop the case in eighteen fifty seven long after the trial had disappeared from the newspapers. The case automatically moved to Washington DC, where in the absence of Solomon's testimony, the authorities decided not to charge Merrill and Russell. The two kidnappers like James Burge win free. They saw no punishment for their actions by eighteen fifty five. Solomon north was living with his daughter, Margaret and her husband in rural New York. It's believed that he took up carpentry and farming again, though he never returned to playing the fiddle soon after he regained his freedom Solman became prominent in the abolitionist movement. He started giving lectures and speeches across the northeast reading passages from his book that detailed, the horrors he had lived through as a slave. Evidence also suggests that Solomon became involved with the underground railroad, helping other slaves escape to freedom in the north in the summer of eighteen fifty seven. Solomon Northop was invited to Canada for a series of lectures. The last mention of him in the press states that he had been in streets Villon on terro and was about to give a speech. When the crowd turned hostile and he was forced to flee. That was the last recorded time that Solomon north up was seen publicly. The exact details of his disappearance are unknown. The events surrounding the end of Solomon, north AP's life are like a blank page, and it's a mystery that continues to baffle historians to this day. Now, here's our tip of the week. There are a lot of home security companies out there. What's one of the reasons you like simply safe home security? So much simply safe is ready for anything that gets thrown at it. If a storm takes out the power or an intruder cuts, the phone line simply safe is ready. Even if they destroy your key pad or siren simply safe will get you the help you need. That's a pretty extreme scenario. It is, but simply safe is always ready. 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But as since been wiped away by modern hygiene. Wow. Interesting. How does it work a, oh, plus missed? Patented ammonia oxidizing bacteria work by consuming the ammonia in your sweat and producing beneficial byproducts for your skin. Let me get this straight since the ammonia is the stinky parts with the ammonia oxidizing bacteria in the AO plus missed helps eliminate body odor. Exactly. Right now, gone listeners will get twenty percent off and free. Shipping was the code gone head to mother, dirt dot com to learn more and get twenty percent off and free shipping with code gone plant the seeds of healthy living and nurture your nature at mother, dirt dot com. And now back to the story. What happened to Solomon north? Did his life end in Canada in eighteen fifty seven or does circumstances lead to him removing himself from the watchful eye of the public in the years, following his disappearance theories about what happened to Solomon began to run wild. The first and one of the most prominently held believes is that Solomon was murdered specifically by one of his enemies from his past who would have been responsible for his demise. If this theory is true, none of the men that Solomon publicly outed as illegal slavers, wherever put behind bars, they would have had good reason to want to silence. Solomon permanently could Birch Russell or Merrill, either working independently or together have killed Solomon Northop as the United States veered closer and closer to war with slavery at the center of the cultural divide law surrounding. Slavery. And the rights of states were rapidly changing Merrill Russell and Burch may have feared that they would once again be put on trial for the kidnapping and enslavement of Solomon. Northop only this time, the laws and public opinion might not be in their favor as they once were Maryland Russell were especially lucky to escape punishment. After the two year long legal battle they had faced if anyone had reason to silence Solomon north for good and put an end to any possibility of another trial, it likely would have been the two of them. We don't know what happened to Maryland Russell. After Solomon's case against him was dropped. This is unsurprising as the case was no longer being reported on, and they had also proven themselves to be capable conman who could disappear what they needed to of separate murder theory is that it wasn't Merrill or Russell who killed Solomon, but one of Solomon's former masters who sought revenge against him for escaping slavery, Edwin Epps. The plantation owner who enslaved Solomon for over a decade had said that if he had known men would be taking Solomon away, he would have killed him himself before that could happen north zone accounts. Describe EPs as an unforgiving sadist who would be unlikely to let go of any slights against him, but there's no concrete evidence to suggest that epseta hand north disappearance. It would have been incredibly difficult for him to travel the fifteen hundred miles. From Louisiana to Canada in the mid eighteen hundreds. He may have hired someone to do it for him. But even then coordinating such a job would have been challenging at best Birch Merrill Russell apps even to bow. All of these men had reason to want Solomon dead, but there's no hard evidence to tie them to his disappearance. Perhaps after Solomon's failed court cases, they really did let the matter rest. A third merger theory that's been suggested is that Solomon Northop was murdered, but not by anyone that he knew personally Solomon's involvement in abolitionist groups in the underground railroad may well have given him new enemies to worry about before the publication of twelve years, a slave, the most famous anti-slavery publication at the time was Tom's cabin written by Harriet Beecher Stowe a white woman with Solomon north ups book, people were reading a vivid account of the horrors of slavery from someone who had actually lived through it. North of showed no signs of slowing down his abolitionist efforts after the release of his memoir he booked over two dozen speaking engagements. Many of which were directly supported by bullishness groups. Anti-ballistic may have wanted to put an end to Solomon north up to further their own agendas and preserve the status quo. How much water does this theory hold? Well, history lacks any concrete evidence of foul play, but we do know from witness accounts that the crowd Northop was scheduled to speak to an on. Terreaux became so angry and hostile that he was forced to flee the venue. Could someone have taken advantage of the chaos and followed him that night. The abrupt and mysterious nature of Solomon's disappearance birthed another theory one just as sinister as murder. This is the theory that he was sold into slavery once more sixteen years earlier in eighteen forty one. Solomon had been drugged kidnapped and sold into slavery in the eyes of his friends and family had vanished into thin air. So when Solomon disappeared a second time, the circumstances seemed Ereli familiar. Some people naturally started to wonder if what happened before had happened again, could Solomon have been kidnapped a second time? Many believe that he was including Henry north of the man who had gone to such great lengths to help him escape slavery in eighteen fifty three. In eighteen fifty eight. One newspaper article wrote quote it is said that Solomon Northop who was kidnapped sold as a slave and afterwards recovered and restored to freedom has been again decoyed south and is again a slave and quote, Henry north of reportedly agreed with this conclusion, he was quoted in the Daily Inquirer has saying that Solomon was living as a slave. Once more, what evidence Henry might have had a support. This belief is unknown. Did he receive communication from Solomon but was unable to locate him as he did the first time Solomon was kidnapped. The timing of Solomon's disappearance adds another layer of difficulty to the investigation. If Solomon had been enslaved once more, it would have been almost impossible to seek help as he had before the civil war officially broke out in eighteen sixty one four years after Solomon's disappearance the war raged for four years leading to an unprecedented death toll of six hundred and twenty thousand Americans killed on both sides. If Solomon was again kidnapped and sold into slavery, the chaos and violence that ripped through the country would have made finding him all the more impossible. It was extremely difficult for Solomon to communicate with his friends and family in the north during his previous twelve years as a slave. If he had found himself in a similar situation, once more only now with a widespread war added into the mix. Any correspondence he tried to send home was even less likely to make it to. His allies and searching for him in the midst of battles and bloodshed would have been even harder historian, say it's unlikely Solomon was kidnapped and sold into slavery. His second time Solman would have been much older in past his prime around the time of his disappearance. This means he wouldn't have had much value as a slave. It would also have been an extraordinarily difficult undertaking for slavers to covertly, transport him from the north to the southern states without being caught to make matters more difficult. At this point, Solomon was also a relatively famous figure if he had been returned to slavery, it's likely that he would have quickly been recognized in the public would have found out about it. One of the most prevalent theories held by historians is an exceedingly simple one that Solomon Northop died of natural causes while he was traveling most likely due to illness or a stroke. Psalm Northop is estimated to have been around fifty years old at the time of his disappearance. Well, this might not seem very old by today's standards. The years that north spent is a slave would have taken a drastic toll on him when Solomon was brought to New Orleans as a slave. After just one day on land, he contracted smallpox this illness ravaged his body and nearly killed him. Northop went blind for three whole days, and it took sixteen more for him to be considered well enough to be sold at the slave market, though Solomon recovered an illness like smallpox would have done permanent damage to his health. We therefore can't rule out a natural death in the question of what might have happened to him to this day. No death records have ever been uncovered that spoke of Solomon, north of death that is not unusual since death records weren't kept in a reliable form until the eighteen eighties almost. Twenty years later. But other evidence suggests that if Solomon did die of natural causes, well, in Canada, his family was not notified of his death. Psalm north ups father mentos was buried in upstate New York in a grave that was clearly marked and recorded in his book Solomon road of his desire to be buried near him. Historians in their research teams have scoured the cemeteries in the area. Solomon Northrop's biographers went through countless graveyards throughout the surrounding Saratoga area and found nothing indicating a grave belonging to Solomon. Solomon's descendants have no knowledge or documentation regarding the death of their ancestor. Either some believe this lack of a known burial or accorded death indicates fell play. But others disagree if Solomon Northop had died of natural causes in a place where most people didn't know who he was like on terro, where he was last seen. It's likely that he would have been given poppers burial in an unmarked grave. Depending on who may have found him. If he had died unexpectedly, some may not have wanted to put the effort into giving a black man, a proper burial, even more rumors surfaced in the years following Northrop's disappearance. Another theory that some have clung to that is through the centuries is that Solomon was actually working for the union army. Was Solomon north pool already had lived such an incredible story life also a wartime spy, some theorize that after his last public appearance in Canada, psalm and traveled back to New York in eighteen fifty seven where his abolitionist efforts gradually evolved into a job doing covert investigative work for the government. And after the war started even joining the union army, there are a number of documented cases of black men and women working for the government and helping the union army both in years leading up to and during the. Civil war. The most famous of course, was Harriet Tubman. Tubman was a government scout during this time along with many others. Solomon Northop was familiar with the sound at least Louisiana region. His knowledge and experience could have proven valuable to the union, especially if they were looking for someone who knew how to blend in and pass a slave. Certainly Northop would have fit that will perfectly. But would he have wanted to return to the south risking both his life and is hard won freedom? If north wasn't motivated to work for the government by the cause alone, his children may have played a role in him deciding to work for the union. Solomon's own son was a union soldier. Solomon's son Alonzo north enlisted in the union army near the start of the civil war, joining a regiment called the United States colored troops. We know that Alonzo served in South Carolina an area that would have been a dangerous place to be fighting. Solomon may have seen government spy work as the best way to help his only son along with slaves who hadn't been freed as he had one document was uncovered. That may actually support this union. Spy theory, though its credibility is questionable in nineteen forty, seven article in the Syracuse post standard. Someone named Bertrand Snell wrote of his relative called knoll who had been a union army officer during the civil war and told his nephew stories of his time at war, uncle Knowles said he had served with a man named Solomon Northop who had been a slave before the war and quote. Finally, ROY. Run away and got up north and it was living near Albany when the war broke out and quote in his column, Bertrand Snell went onto spin, a fantastic tale. He wrote that according to knoll, psalm north had saved the life of none other than you Liz grant in eighteen sixty five near the end of the civil war knoll. And Solomon Northop had allegedly been stationed in Virginia together, and an attempt had been made on grant's life in the middle of the night. The way Nole tells it Solman Northop saw the barrel of a gun glinting in the trees in the moonlight and pushed grant to the ground before shooting the sniper down from a tree. It's an amazing story. Yet, historian, David Fisk explains that it's almost certainly not a factual one as much as we would love to be able to add saving the life of United States president to the list of Solomon. Northrop's accomplishments and assassination attempt on grant would have made the history books if it had occurred. And as for the union officer Noll he was indeed a second Lieutenant in the hundred and tenth New York regiment. But his military service ended in eighteen sixty two long before the end of the war, he therefore would not have been in Virginia. At the time. It was probably a story that knowl- either made up or greatly exaggerated. If Noel story is nothing more than a tall tale, then how likely is this union? Spy theory not very likely unfortunately, primarily because Solomon Northop was so well known at the time. It would have been difficult for north to take part. But in any covert operations, given the fact that he had at this point spent years in the public view, and there was always the possibility that he would be recognized even in the deep south. The idea that Solomon could have easily flown under the radar after gaining such notoriety is fetched. The spice scenario would help account for his lifelong disappearance. If he were a spy working in enemy territory at the height of a violent war, he could have died or disappeared with no one knowing and no records would have been made of it, but it's all conjecture. There's little to no evidence to support the union. Spy theory as exciting and cinematic as it may sound, but there's another stranger theory to explore. What if Solomon Northop never actually disappeared at all. I o, there's something we want you to hear about. Richard, and I have some exciting news for you starting. Now you can listen to gone episodes that are older than six months completely. Ad free exclusively on Stitcher premium. We are always looking for ways to improve listener experience. We found an amazing partner in Stitcher to bring you episodes. Ad free, six months after they are released. Again, this will only affect episodes older than six months. Nothing else will change will still be releasing new gun episodes wherever you listen to podcasts for a free month trial go to Stitcher, premium dot com slash podcast and use promo code park cast that Stitcher, premium dot com slash podcast and use promo code park cast. And now back to the story. Years after Solomon Northrop's mysterious disappearance in eighteen fifty seven a six theory about what happened to him eventually found its way into the newspapers. This was the theory that Solomon Northop lost. All of his money fell into destitution and eventually became a traveling vagrant after spending twelve years living in slavery. Solomon north up receive no financial restitution. For his bestselling book. He made three thousand dollars for the copyright which was roughly eighty thousand dollars by today's standards. He used the three thousand dollars to purchase land near his daughter, Margaret in glens falls, New York. We don't know what kind of compensation he might have been given for his speaking engagements, but it wasn't likely to have been high stories. Printed in a local newspaper suggests that north may have been giving all could afford and in some cases more than he could afford. To fugitive slaves who like him had fled lives of bondage in eighteen fifty four. One newspaper wrote that Northop quote was generous to his fugitive brethren, that he gives of his substance to those who have fled from slavery and quote, was Solomon so affected by his experiences that he gave everything. He had a fugitive slaves leading him to becoming a homeless wonder. We do know that he was likely to have been involved in aiding the efforts of the underground railroad in the eighteen fifties, which means he would have been in contact with escaped slaves. A local New York newspaper made the claim in eighteen fifty five that north left town without paying his bills. If Solomon did fall on hard times, it's unclear why would have left as family who still lived in the Saratoga area. But when his wife and passed away in eighteen seventy five one a bit Schori wrote that her husband Solomon. Had become what the described as a vagabond suggesting that after he had fallen out of you of the public following his lecture circuit in eighteen fifty seven, he had lost all his money and eventually became a wonder. If Solomon north up had become destitute and left his home in New York, it would be hard to find records or written evidence of his later years. But one place we might find evidence of this theory is in the United States census from eighteen sixty to eighteen seventy. The United States census has records of Solomon Northrop's family, including his wife and children all living and working in New York. Solomon north of is not mentioned in any of them when his property was sold in eighteen sixty three. His name wasn't listed anywhere on the documents because of this some believe that Solomon north left his family in New York sometime before and that they had continued maintaining the property on their own. This would explain why Solomon's name is not on any of the property documents and north ups obituaries in eighteen seventy five described her as a widow, but this may have only been due to a lack. Of any information about Solomon's whereabouts after all, by eighteen seventy five, Solomon would have been missing for almost eighteen years if he really had not been heard from since eighteen fifty seven after everything that Solomon Northop had lived through one would have hoped that he would have been able to live out the rest of his life in peace. Fortunately, there is one more theory that some historians considered that after his public disappearance in eighteen fifty seven Solomon and and Northop lived out their lives as farmers in Vermont, staying hidden, but happy. Solomon, I learned how to farm as a child and continued farming throughout his adult life. His father Minto's taught him how to farm land in upstate New York alongside is brother and Solomon and his wife and worked in farming in the early years of their marriage. And of course, Solomon had worked in the fields of a cotton plantation for ten years. The name Solomon Northop came up numerous times in agriculture publications in eighteen fifty eight when it was constant. Sheep farmer claimed he had purchased livestock from someone of that name in Vermont. There were no census records of any north of living by that name in Vermont at the time and an was recorded as being in New York. But the census was not always accurate and Salomon Northop may have had reason to stay hidden letters written by a man named John r Smith actually did play Solomon in the state of Vermont long. After his supposed disappearance Antero in eighteen fifty, seven Smith wrote that Solomon Northop had visited his father, a minister living in Vermont. After ABRAHAM, LINCOLN wrote his famous emancipation proclamation in eighteen sixty three that six years after Solomon disappeared from the public view since Smith's father was a known acquaintance of north ABS. It's unlikely the letter would have been referring to anyone else by that name. The reason for Solomon and low profile may have been related to Solomon's work and assisting those traveling on the underground railroad in eighteen fifty. The fugitive slave act was passed by the United States. Congress soon after it passed it was given the nickname the bloodhound law and with good reason, bloodhound dogs were often used to track runaway slaves escaping north. The effects of the fugitive slave act were widespread, but most notably it meant that anyone found to be assisting fugitive. Slaves could be prosecuted. The law was rarely enforced in states such as New York and Vermont, where slavery was legal. But Solomon Northop may have felt that he and and needed to be more careful than most north AP's enemies. Birch Russell and barrel included may have been looking for an opportunity to put north of behind bars. If Solomon was to open to brazen in working with the underground railroad, their wish may have been granted, could Solomon and and have lived a quiet life as farmers in Vermont, all while giving much needed aid to fugitive slaves. The evidence is scares, but not completely lacking. We know that and died in New York in eighteen seventy six. But if this theory is true, she could have lived with Solomon in Vermont, and then. Move back to New York in her later years to be closer to her adult children. As we mentioned earlier, the census records state that an was in New York from eighteen sixty to eighteen seventy, which would mean that she wasn't in Vermont at the time. But in the eighteen hundreds census takers took information down from any member of the family. Sometimes even neighbors or locals in the town, it's possible then that ends children still living in New York. At the time could have given the census takers, false information about where an was to protect her. Whereabouts why Solomon would not have been included in the ruses? Well, we're not sure a letter from the son of an acquaintance and a few appearances in farming publication. Admittedly aren't much, but they're the only known mentions of Solomon's whereabouts after eighteen fifty seven. However, since the evidence is so sparse, this theory may not hold as much water as. As we might hope. This is one of the main difficulties historians run into in trying to find the truth about Solomon, not only were systematic records from the time almost non-existent, but after eighteen fifty seven, any information pertaining to Solomon seem to change it will depending on who is asked from being kidnapped and enslaved once more to becoming a traveling vagabond newspapers and firsthand accounts vary drastically. This may have been due to solve a Northop status as a public figure. Then just as now the public love to good story with lots of twists and turns papers may have played up gossip without any hard evidence for dramatic effect. Muddling the actual truth of what happened to Solomon. So what is the truth? What became of the incredible figure who not only survive twelve excruciating years of slavery, but then chose to fight tooth and nail against his oppressors in the years that followed, we may never know for sure. Given the political climate of the mid eighteen hundreds and the lack of reliable record. Keeping some much has been lost time, especially for those like Solomon who didn't have the rights and privileges that they should have been afforded. My gut tells me that he died a natural death. It isn't the most thrilling or mysterious theory, but it does seem to make the most sense all things considered Solomon Northrop's biographers all lean toward this theory. If Solomon's health had suffered after his twelve years in slavery, he did almost die of smallpox after all, it's likely that it would have caught up with him if this happened at an inopportune time, when he was traveling outside of the safety of a place where he was. Tone, his death would have been akin to vanishing into thin air. I'm not so sure it was as simple as a natural death, think about his past and the people who were still out there that had reason to one him dead. The mysterious circumstances surrounding his disappearance combined with his turbulent past has me believing that he might have been killed, whether his death was at the hands of the men responsible for his enslavement or those who opposed his. 'cause I don't know, but I think someone wanted him gone. Well, we'll have to agree to disagree. Solomon. North of legacy has left a permanent Mark on American history. The courage and persistence that Solomon maintained throughout his life is something that cannot be called into question. Even as the facts around in his later years continued to be shrouded in mystery. It's only regrettable, that layers of uncertainty surround the final days of a man who already in. Gourds so much. We can only hope that one day more evidence is uncovered that put Solomon's mysterious disappearance to rest. The final unwritten chapter in psalm north of life may be discovered yet. Thanks for tuning into gone. If you wanna find more episodes or any of park cast other podcasts, you can find us on apple podcasts, Stitcher, Google play, cast box tune in or your favorite podcast directory. Many of you have asked us how you can help the show. If you enjoy the show, the best way to do that is to leave a five star review. You can also tell us your theories on Facebook and Instagram at par, cast on Twitter at parkas network or at par, cast dot com. We'll be back in two weeks with another episode just because it's gone. Doesn't mean it can't be found. Gone was created by max Cutler is a production of Cutler media. And as part of the podcast network, it is produced by max and Ron Cutler sound design by Paul skinned with production assistance by Ron. Shapiro and Paul Molitor additional production assistance by Maggie admire and Carly Madden gone is written by Becky, tinker and stars. Molly Brandenburg and Richard Rossner. 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Aired 2 months ago 36:17
11/17: BONUS: Mailbag and DFS advice (Fantasy Football Podcast)
This is fancy for today from CBS sports. Email us at fantasy football CBS. I dot com. It's time to dominate your fantasy league. Joe fair warning about five ether. Dave Richard has just lost his. What happened? I'm gonna start believe portals all my leagues. No. It's we're recording this on a Friday feeling good right excited feeling confident after a week's worth of work. Let's go there, a special occasion feelings, you know, that are great, but just on a typical week to week basis v. It's Friday afternoon. I'm about to go home and start my weekend. I just put in a good week at work that that is the best feeling. So here we go, by the way, it's Saturday for all of you listening. So you've already experienced that happy Saturday. Hey, we got called out on Twitter. Dave we did. Yeah. We did. What's going on Travis says, you guys didn't mention anything about golden Tate or who you'd play over him? And then he hasn't emoji of somebody smacking themselves in the head like, oh, how could I it's like the face. Yeah. Yeah. Moji that's the one I would do it. But this is a podcast. I did it already. Well, we mentioned anything about golden tater who we'd play over him. I'd go with a lot of players over Golding Tate. I do have a funny feeling that he will play a lot more this week. In fact, Doug Peterson kind of intimated as such. Today. Friday, I said today, but really it's not Saturday when he said it it's Friday, and it makes sense. This is a game where the saints are good against the run. Saints are gonna put up a lot of points. I think Philadelphia's going to have to throw I wouldn't mind using golden Tate as a dart throw in a DFS G P P element Opie, but I'm not gonna use them in by seasonal leagues. Unless I'm just really thin, and I need to take a chance like flex, especially if it's p p r nine PR, I think it's absolutely hands off. So let's get some news notes not that much. But Joe flacco is doubtful made seems like there's a little momentum for Lamar Jackson to play against Cincinnati. It's an interesting spot for a very interesting reason Jackson, obviously has the potential we've seen him play. Well in college the little bit in the preseason. Not so much in the regular season. If he does. Okay this weekend. Cincinnati Baltimore could theoretically stick with them next week when they take on the raiders at home. That's right. And I don't know about you, Adam. But if if I can have a quarterback taking on the raiders who would be on the road for the second straight week. I wouldn't mind having that especially if I've been writing with Patrick Mahomes Jared Goff will your don't have a good replacement. They're that much worse than the Bengals. I mean, it's fantasy points a lot. I think the Bengals glad more fantasy points the quarterbacks in the raiders do I'm gonna say this. Dave hope you're ready. Hope everybody's ready. The. Lamar jackson. Now, I'm going to say Lamar Jackson is the most. Most talented runner. Most talented rushing quarterback in NFL history already. We've never ever seen anything like Lamar Jackson. Okay. I'm ready to go ahead. The only thing that's comparable is Vic. I mean, we this guy is he is amazing. I don't know if people had a chance to see him in college. The moves he makes eye. You know, I don't know what kind of quarterback is going to be like, but he doesn't have to do that much throwing because it's conceivable that he rushes for like at least sixty yards of game by design. You know, they might be like, hey run. Keep running. All right, Dave. He's incredibly fast. I am certain that the ravens will lean on that just as they have in limited playing time already, and it makes them very Tibo esque at this stage of his career. He is so much more gifted as a rusher than Tibo answer. I only thing that I feel confident comfortable saying is that he was a pretty bad passer in college to the point where some people were like, well, maybe you should play wide receiver. But you know, just in case you don't exactly what you're in for with with with Lamar Jackson. He is exceptional by the way, the Bengals allow the third most points to quarterbacks. All right, more news or news, Jimmy Graham, broke his thumb sucks. Lance kendricks is backup Joey Bosa question. We'll probably won't play. But hasn't chance against Denver. Marvin Jones outs and Kenny golladay is cheap on fan dole. And he we'll we'll be in a lot of lineups. I assume. Isn't mind. Jordy Nelson is out. Kris Godwin is in. He practiced in full. Questionable. He's in Joe mixing is in. That's the most important one. I apologize. Joe mixon is in he practicing full. He's probably oh, he's not even on the injury report as it. Okay. If. Mix in these mix. It anything else injury wise, there's a few other things, but most of it we actually kinda covered on the Friday podcast. So you can go back and listen to that a couple of interesting defensive players Nate Harrison's gonna miss this game for the colts. He's one of their better outside corners Milly cooker their safety. Could also miss the game. I'm expecting the titans offense to really Popoff. I moved. I moved Corey Davis into my top twelve in non baby are sneaky bonanza core. Davis also in my fan will up that's the game on most interested in. I think the culture my are my team this year, you know, every year I have a new favorite team two years ago. Vikings last year falcons this colts. Kind of cursing them, isn't it? Took a full year for the Lebanon. Bells theme song to curse Levy on bell. So maybe next year, right? I on fantasy football Saturday night radio show. Check it out on CBS. Sports radio your local CBS sports radio affiliate will hopefully carry it. If not you can listen on CBS, sports radio dot com or serious channel two six. Ten pm to midnight eastern NFC football fan dot com slash f f t join our contest, it's only five bucks. I've already told you two of my players so later, I'll tell you the rest, Dave. Here we go with emails fantasy football at CVS dot com. Do it from Eugene Dak or Watson? I have to Sean higher. I just I don't have the confidence and Dak having a high upside results. Whereas we've seen that from Sean. That's really the point is that there's probably similar floors between them both. But there's more upset with Shawn Watson. I think the question was this is the way I interpreted it if you were going to have another child, Dave, Richard. And it was the sun. Would you name? It Dak Richard or Watson, Richard. Why not to Sean, Richard? That was the question Prescott, Richard. If I want to be, you know, bresca. Sippy Cup at the polo though. I think Watson Richard is Justice preppy and actually sounds really good. Just I'm not having any more kids grandkids, which is a better streamer for this week from Joe from the Lou Ryan Fitzpatrick or deck Prescott. I'll go with TAC there. I'm reach out to a couple of buddies who cover the bucks, I'm running past them. The idea that Ryan Fitzpatrick could get benched, and if they get back to say, there's no way there's no chance they don't want James to play because they don't want him to get hurt. Because that would then guarantee his contract next year for injury. Then maybe I'll change my tune. But for now, I'm very very worried about Ryan Fitzpatrick not playing four quarters if he has a bad start against the giants. Here's an Email from Salvator please help I'm in a winner. Take all ten team full PR league. And I have Kareem hunt. Melvin Gordon James Connor Aaron Jones and Mark ING. Ingram. But my wide receivers recoup, Baldwin and Sanders. Terrible. Should I trade one of my running backs? And if so who should I trade to get an elite wide receiver. Well, right now, I wonder if you could get max value for Aaron Jones, and then that's really a win win for you. You're going to get a good player in return for Aaron Jones while not losing any of that elite running back up that you have sure but you have hunt. Gordon, Connor and Jones and Ingram. I would trade any of them for an elite wide receiver. Maybe I would trade huts see still has a vi-. I mean you can easily win your league with two out of hunt. Gordon, connor? Sure. But then if you're trading hunt you can't win your league with him Jones. Well, even if you just have Gordon Connor like, you're fine. Sure. So definitely make a trait. Get and honestly name your wide receiver do not settle if you're trading hunt, Gordon or Connor you should be able to get maybe Antonio Brown gets any of them. But you ask for any wide any anybody. You could you could ask for TJ Jones. You could you could ask for Kelvin Benjamin, you could ask for Brandon Lavelle. And I think the people who own those players will give them up one of your you can get all three Jeff from the Canadian province north of Montana, North Dakota. If it's a provinces gotta be sketching is I have to choose three of the following golladay. John brown. Damaris Thomas, Dante Moncrieff, I believe I've Moncrieff ranked the lowest of those for now would you drop any of them? To pick up trae Quant Smith, Adam Humphreys, Ryan grant, or John Ross. This is the part where we let go of Dante Moncrieff, and we go ahead and get trae Quant Smith, and we can start trae Kwan Smith over Damaris Thomas. Ooh. Okay. From Bill I need. The regulators sixteen team non PR one keeper league if very fishy. Trae just transpired team in third place traded away. Duke Johnson, Chris HOGAN Levy on bell and the colts DS. So they sickly one semi relevant player because it's an on PR. It's Duke Johnson HOGAN Levy on bell and the coats. The it is a one keeper league for Robert woods. Adrian Peterson gronkowski and the chargers. And that is the third place team giving all that crap up to get woods Peterson gronk in the chargers from the eleventh place team. Nobody saw the proposed trade transaction. Just ended up going through without the chance for veto or expressed displeasure. The Commissioner seems to be fine with his trade as he is the ultimate veto power. But this is absolute Bs, and this guy just completely stacked team is great position to win at all nothing can really be done at this point. But I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. Whenever there's a member of fantasy that has a problem with something that's happened in the league. He or she should go to the Commissioner immediately and say, hey, what just went down? It's not cool, man. And you should really look into doing something about it. A good Commissioner will go to the parties involved and say, hey was his maiden good fade team. That's in eleventh place do know that you're kind of giving up all these players for you. You know, one decent keeper next year and Levy on Belle. Are you sure that you know, this makes sense to you? Are you sure that this is what you want to do if you could take this trade back would you do it? And then after talking to those team members or owners, or what have you you can go to the wrestling and say, I want to put it to vote I will abstain Commissioner, and if majority rules, I will revoke the deal, but. You don't have to do that. If you're the Commissioner if you're in a league that with a bunch of upstanding, people who haven't been doing shady crap for several years. You can just let it go. Remember fantasies supposed to be fun? Everybody wants to win. Everybody's going to be hyper competitive, and the guy that's making that trade for Lebanon Belen, the junk they're making that trade for Lebanon bell. They're doing it. So that they can keep him next year. Right. I mean, that's the only thing that makes this not a complete crap trade like maybe you getting great keeper value on the Bill. I don't know is pretty bad though. I feel bad for people because I don't know that it's veto. But it's close. It's pretty bad. So if it's close do what I suggested, which is putting it to vote where the Commissioner doesn't phone obviously, the teams involved can't vote either. So it's a six team league. There's going to be thirteen teams left to vote. You will get a majority go with the majority that seems the most fair thing to do. I don't really I don't love doing very much Jake from the best microbrewery city in Michigan. Well, that's gotta be. Grand rapids. Hey, New York, Chicago Miami in Kansas City. Jamie from Miami. Jamie was actually born in New York City. He was and then and then moved to Miami. When he was south Florida when he was young out the ever lived in Miami proper. I am in second place. I have locked playoff spot. I made a trade of the eighth spot person who must win this week to continue to the playoffs. He has his top receivers on by any as AJ green. I gave him Cortlandt Sutton and Corey Davis, and I received AJ green gave up Sutton and Davis for AJ green. Is this a fair trade? One of my friends said I blatantly ripped this team off at it should be vetoed. But I feel like it was a smart play for AJ who may not play until later. I'm the commission, and it's only one guy who was complaining so the trail stand because only one guy is complaining and the deal was made in good faith. I kinda think you might gave up too much raging. I mean, we don't know when greens coming back. We don't know how healthy is going to be you. You did a smart thing. Jake by trading for green, you know, taking advantage of an owner who needs to win this week. It doesn't have green. I you may have given up too much. But it. Could be worth the risk for your team. If your loaded, and he got two guys that he can start this week know that this is what people want to trades like this, then it's just ridiculous. Then it's like, what do you want everything to be completely? Even know the guy wants to veto probably wanted to try and make a run at AJ green himself. Maybe this is from Mike from heath favorite place in the world. I'm guessing that would also be Grand Rapids. If that is in fact, the best microbrewery city Michigan. Flex, Larry, FitzGerald or Marlin MAC this week. I think MAC has a tough match-up. But I would go with him because he has more upside rivers in NPR, it's probably safer to go with Fitz Gerald, but I'll take MAC rivers or Eli Philip rivers retire for me. And this is Tyler from Brooklyn. Dear Sean, Mike, Wayne and Sammy. I believe those are Clemson Tigers. Yeah. I was going to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Full point PR, sit one in PR, sit one carry on Johnson. Kenny golladay or Joe mixon. I believe I've ranked were carry on sits. So Dave, what's your candy bet? Well, you know that you made one on Friday with the Dak Prescott. What is it? Now. Once refresh my memory Dak Prescott if he finishes higher than sixteenth. I win the bet and nothing happens if inches lower than sixteenth six point passing touchdown. I have to eat a full butterfinger. I think while wearing your onesie. Sure, I thought that was part of the deal would make it more fun for me. He also has a candy bet. Do you? Remember the parameters of that? Yeah. It was it was the same thing butterfinger. Yeah. Was a Jared cook. Yes. I think it was Jared cook. Okay. So out him. I think it's only fair that I get in on this same type of deal and the player that we seem to disagree the most on this week, or at least me versus three of you was Austin hookah hookah, not not me. I am. I am willing to eat a bad candy in exchange for Hooper if he finishes in the top twelve in non PR. Okay. And what did we decide what the candy was? Well, you've got to eat a candy that you don't like, right. And I like pretty much every candy that's out there. If you're gonna punish me by eating butterfinger. That's that's almost like a pleasant thing. That's a reward for me. But I can't stand black licorice. So I even went on Twitter and ask people. What's your least favorite can't one? That's fallen. Yeah. It's disgusting. But if awesome Hooper finishes his top twelve fantasy tight end this. I will eat black licorice. Do. Yeah. That's terrible. Not even candy. That's just like that's just a. I'll die on the air. All right. The black workers liquorice bed is on Dave. We got a lot of emails to get to dilly dallying. So let's pick up the pace a little bit. This is from Brian. I need to start to in a PR league mixing golladay Ingram. Carry on Johnson is a lot like lash, and we had mixed golladay. For me, rivers are luck is this for managing rivers or luck. I'll go with Andrew. This is Mike dear Lorenzo, sunny, Carmine and collage ERO. I believe that is a Bronx tale a Bronx tale. As is it. If someone offered me Michael Thomas at Philip Lindsay for Todd Gurley and half PBR le- give up girly. Get Michael Thomas and Philip Lindsey. It's it's happy are in its point two per rush attempt. So every five rush temps is appoint what is better to have for a playoff push girly or Thomas Lindsey. I don't know what the rest of your team looks like in a vacuum. I think it's I think it's probably a win. On the trade chart. It's probably a win. Michael Thomas is one of the best receivers. Fantasy Philip Lindsey has potential to be top fifteen running back every week. I think if you're run if if you're if you're in need of help it wide receiver you make this deal. But that's really the only case K from Brian in Portland. Now Lindsey I just off the top of my head. I remember he was one of the guys I highlight as having a really good playoff schedule. Brian played against Aaron Jones last night. So he needs upside is it crazy to sit Keenan Allen for Tyler Boyd. They're almost the same player, but I'll I'll take Alan's matchup over Boyd's matchup. Both are going to actually fairly tough match ups. We talked about Keenan Allen's match up a little bit on Thursday. But I'll I'll still go with him with rivers pulling the trigger. Okay, next. Keeping Keaton says I'm gonna tend team PR league with a five point bonus for players who get over one hundred rushing yards. I need a win. Everybody needs to win Keaton. He's four and six so he really needs a win. Well, never mind that I guess we have to make some choices for him. I don't know how many of each. How am I supposed to know? How many to get? All right. Rank your top three Gordon. Melvin Gordon Leonard fournette, Philip linzie Austin Eker, and that's it exit actor, isn't that obvious? It's going to be Gordon. All right. So who do you like better or Lindsey if you're starting three let's say you're starting to then with flex I'll Gordon for net. Okay. Boyd Amari Cooper, John Brown. Funchess trick wants myth. If you're starting to its Amari and Boyd if you're starting three it's a Maree Boyd. And I might go funchess. Well, what I'm going to go with Philip Lindsay as my flex if there is a flex its true. Okay. Baltimore Carolina DST. Baltimore of Email from Jeff in Arizona, twelve team PR league. I have Duke Johnson and Jarvis Landry by. So who do I flex Jack? Doyle, Josh Reynolds. Or Dante Moncrieff I'll go Doyle p p r makes him a lot safer than the other guys. I am gonna flex Doyle in. League where I'm starting Eric Hebron. I don't have a problem with that. Yeah. And it's like, I kind of only expect one of them to be good. It's possible both are but I feel like I I have like a seventy five percent chance of getting at least one touchdown from them. So yeah, not ideal. But I think that percentage is is the same. Whether you start toiler not the way that bronze implying, I guess, so Dave I like, I like, you gotta give you a critique. What's really now? Yeah. I do I give you life. Critique. You need you need better suits. What's my suits? And I didn't know chino suits, man. And that's the thing. Dave says what's wrong with my suits people who don't own and Indochino suit? Don't know what's wrong with their suits. This is North America's leading made to measure menswear company when I got my Indochino suit. It really changed things for me. I realized how important custom clothing is clothing that fits you just perfectly. You get a huge variety of fabrics colors and patterns that make Indochino so stylish, and there's just no excuse like for wearing an ill fitting suit. They're so affordable now with Indochino dot com. And it's the highest quality and the lowest price. It's unique experience where you get to play designer in consultation with our with with Indochino style guides. So what you're going to do is go to Indochino dot com and use the promo code f f t and you can get up to seventy. Percent off. They've got their black Friday pricing and the code is f f t at checkout seventy percent off the regular price for a made to measure suit with free shipping. I'm telling you man, like, this is the best piece of clothing best suit. I owned by far. I absolutely love it. So November they got the black Friday discounts, go to Indochino dot com. Enter f- F T at checkout. Seventy percent off incredible deal for made-to-measure suit. Once you go custom you don't go rack morning males fantasy football at CBS side com. This is from Mark Mark's Ted. Oh, who do you need a quarterback for next week for next week? And he's a quarterback Trubisky. Got he's got Mahomes these off almost as good and cousins. So Trubisky is available should Bisky plays. The risks. Got the line base giving and cousins gets the same hall Packers. Oh Packers right right at home. So who do you like better next week? Should he drop cousins for Trubisky? I would make that switch now. And if you need to switch back, I think you'll be able to do that. I think that'll be easier to do than if you keep cousins, and you try to go after Trubisky. I'd rather have your Bisky. He seems to have far more upside he's got the better offense of line. And I think he's got a pretty dang good. Magic lines defense to okay, we got an Email about the titans defense, not necessarily DS. But their defense is from that. That says it's time to give the titans defense. More respect. It's already Jackson. Kevin buyer. Wesley would your John Brown and Giral Casey are all playing at a Pro Bowl. Pro Bowl slash all pro level. Can't knock them for their matchups. They've played like a top unit. A majority of the season on the best red zone defense in the league. This is an interesting couple of weeks for them at Indianapolis is going to be a challenge because of Andrew luck. And then at Houston in week twelve against Shawn Watson when they come out of that their home against the jets home against the Jaguars at the giants home against Washington. And then they end the season home against Indianapolis. So there's some pretty juicy games left for the titans defense fantasy. I I don't think I'm ready to use them against the colts. Let me give you my top two MVP candidates right now. And I know nobody's gonna agree with me. Number two. Number one is Mahomes. Number two is Andrew luck. Oh, I could see that being the case. I mean, look breeze and Ryan and even Rodgers like they have great numbers breezes on the best team in the NFC arguably they just beat golfing. And the Rams luck is just putting that team on his back. He I I am so impressed with Andrew lock. And he's not even throwing the ball downfield. But he's just he's just playing his mind Brees has to be on that list. Head of Andrew lock though. I agree. Great. As luck has been that he's a very important part of that saints operation. I'd haven't thirty. It's gotta be on the list. But I'd be controversial. I'd vote from a guy from a city in southern Michigan southeastern Michigan. In fact. Dear west Schwimmer, FOX and ledger. That is an atom a Dave a Jamie and heath which player, do you think will be on most championship rosters this season? Todd gurley. I I don't know Mahomes will be too. Yeah. Mahomes feeling will be on some at at. Oh, right article on CBS sports about Adam Phelan, great article. I tweeted it check it out that what makes the way my podcast league team has all three of those guys on it. Get outta here Mahomes. Girly the Owen Aaron Jones and believe we've got either Kelsey or too tight end. What's record? Two eight that's not to it. It's not that bad. I'd have to look it up. But it's a winning record. We're probably the playoffs. We're probably gonna win the league. I give all the credit to my partner. Phil standard league. This is an Email from D N, Chicago. I'm nervous about starting digs and cooks and cook this week against the bears. I have Dion Lewis Corey Davis on the bench, which combination should I use? Oh, I think Lewis overcook makes sense. And I think Cordis over digs makes okay? From anthony. Big fan of the show big week for me PR league. I need a running back in a flex pick one running back. Dave Lindsay, kerryon Johnson. Mark Ingram Lindsay. All right, pick a flex PR. Carry on Ingram Hilton Emmanuel Sanders. Ridley TY. I thought you might go Sanders there. Yeah. I buy into the chargers pass defense. You don't buy into Jalen Ramsey. You. Don't think he's Jalen Ramsey isn't taken on T Y Hilton. You know think so not this week? He did last week. You're right. In fact, I was just okay. But it's actually the titans defense. That's what they do. But their biggest weaknesses at outside corner. And I think TY Hilton can get loose. Sorry about that. All right standard, the DO would just read that one. All right. Great sequence for me Chuck from the nicest city in Florida, Dave. The nicest city will probably won't be my aunt. He's just isn't quotes. Oh, so it's not even like a nice place. It's probably like Gainesville. It's nice. A lot of really nasty people who went to college. They're nice necessarily live there. It's nice Ville, there's a place in Florida called nice fill barely. Pleasantville understand town. I live next to plaza though. I don't really understand this greeting. Dear Adam, Dave, Jamie, and Glen fry. No me neither. I like, Glenn fry r I p is Glenn fry maybe a little who should I sit in a PR league. I guess he has to sit one and only around manual Sanders. Alshon Jeffery Philip Lindsay t y Hilton Keenan Allen who do you think I'll say came down, Emmanuel Sanders? Okay. For isaac. Lindsey Kohinoor Ingram Lindsay from Julian pick one and PR. Join about away from Cape coral Florida, Anthony Miller trae Quant Smith DJ more Josh Reynolds, pick one. I'm going to go there any Miller from Ben non PR mixing digs. Maksim from Isaac half. PBR? Start to MAC Ingram Collins. I think I've called drink third from that group. Tempting to start him over more than MAC. Yeah. It of those two when being Graham Dan from Kitchener Ontario Canada. Hey, stupid, dummy idiot. Moron. I need high upside, Amari Cooper or John Brown Cooper. This is from John Joe traveling through a valley North Carolina pick to Tevin Coleman Dion Lewis to Rico and Alvin cook it is standard non PR scoring Coleman. Lewis Cohen cook. I will go Louis Coleman. Derek in Michigan half PBR start to three juju Hilton Marlin MAC, I will sit the running back name MAC, Josh from Dedham, Massachusetts. Dear. Here we go. Here we go, and let's go thinking about trading Trey Burton for John Brown in twelve team PR league, then picking up Ben Watson on waivers. I love the play offs for Brown and Watson. Do you love the quarterback for Brown because I'm not sure what that's going to be like. Yeah. This is where the schedule might be influencing you a little bit too much. But what if he Trey Burton for a different receiver? Maybe even on par with what John Brownstone this year like who. What are you getting Trey Burton? I don't think you're going to get much. But. Let's see as as disappointing an annoying trae burden has been I would not make this train because I think he's significantly better than pen Watson, even with guys that I've got I think he's a step up from Ben Watson. Ridley I think you get form. Maybe make a play for Sammy Watkins, maybe make a play for Larry FitzGerald. How about golden Tate? You wait on tape. Yeah. I guess that would make more sense. I'd rather have tasted John Brown. But I understand the appeal of John Brown. Just like he's had some good matchups recently. Just before the by a good matchup. He didn't do anything. Right Davis talk about fan. Dole fan dot com slash f f t join our contests fan will dot com slash f f t I got my lineup. I don't really love it. And I think it's because it's just you know, there's six teams on by. And then there's the Rams and the chiefs playing Monday night. There's the. The bears and the Vikings Sunday night. So you losing a lot of talent. So I don't know. Maybe I don't hate it. But this is what I got. I started out with the Steelers. Este? I said to myself if I have two hundred extra dollars. Maybe I'll switch to the cardinals. But I didn't. So I'm Steelers I then selected my tight end. I went with Zakar. Well, actually, it went through a couple of interational. But I really I really liked the eagles. I have Wentz in earth's have his cO Elliott. I talked about Friday every running back said fifteen or more carries against Atlanta has just had a huge game eighteen or more points, not PR twenty or more points and PR Zeke. It's fifteen or more carries every week. So I think he has big game Dion Lewis. He's under price of fifty nine hundred. My wide receivers are Beckham golladay and Corey Davis. Now that you've Corey Davis in your top twelve you probably like that better. I do and the only weakness that I would say the only weakness glaring weakness is that I have paid in barber at flex. But the thing is this is really unusual for me. I typically don't spend big on tight end. But since you don't have Kelsey, you don't have gronkowski for what that's worth. I think it makes us pay up Zakar. It's so again, my lineup is Wentz Zeke and Dion Lewis Beckham golladay, Corey Davis, Erz pain, Barbara and the Steelers actually, I don't mind it. It's actually I'm just putting the finishing touches on my lineup. And it's eerily close we are. It's it's it's crazy. How close we are in in lineups this week. I gotta find a sleeper though in the five thousand range. That's what I'm looking through right now. Try and find I think I might have found one. All right. I found when you want here mind. Yeah. I'm gonna go the quarterback at sixty seven hundred I think that's cheap. And I'm gonna pair them with Dell Beckham I've got plenty of money by going Chiba quarterbacks of David Johnson at seventy nine hundred will be one of my running back Dion Lewis as the other. I agree with you hundreds of great price. Michael thomas? I'm able to afford him and Zakar. Okay. So far, we have one person. That's the oh averts okay to DJ Moore's asleep for me this week. I like the match up against Detroit. My flex is going to be Ricky seals Jones because that's pretty much what I can afford. I've got the cardinals defense as might defense who are your three receivers. Thomas Beckham, Thomas Beckham and DJ more. All right. I you really oversaw the similarities in our team. We have three players that are the same. All right. We'll still more than two Beckham earth's Indiana's. I well, listen. Join the contest fan dot com slash of echoed a tweet it right now fan dot com slash f f t join us, and we will defeat you more. Ha ha ha put an end at the beginning. No, comma, seriously, type typo nokomis seriously joined the contest, it's really fun. Oh, I've got my answer on the Tampa Bay quarterback situation. Which got I was told by a buddy of mine, I'm not gonna say who it is. There's a chance he came close to pulling Fitzpatrick last week. Okay. There you go could happen this week that that's going to make me keep Fitspatrick, right? Where I haven't been my rankings. Dave, thanks for hopping on bud. It's my pleasure. This is always one of my favorite things to do. And I'm gonna go home and enjoy my Friday, my Saturday and come back. Work for week eleven you know, it's been it's been a long year. But it's been fun. I was about to get into my monologue guy. You know what? Darko season four. Let's devour Dave plays out. That.
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