35 Burst results for "Relationship"
Google, LVMH Unveil ‘AI Partnership’ for Luxury Online Shopping
"Wealthy customers with a personalized experience when they shop online. Google will also work with individual brands like Louis Vuitton and Christian Dior. To enhance demand forecasting and inventory management and help better recommend targeted products to clients. AI will increasingly be embedded into every part of the operation. Karen Chase Bloomberg Radio. What's the true value of your custodial relationship? Ben Harrison of Bien Y. Mylan's Pershing
Self Storage Investing with Jacob Vanderslice
"I've always. I've always really liked self storage and see how fast i mean. It seemed pretty fast to me when you said you really started getting into it about two thousand fifteen. Is that right now. You've grown over the last five and a half years to wear at. That's that's impressive. Yeah the quit so going back to that kind of understanding this. You said you started to go to the mid west. How many states are y'all in currently about ten states. We got a bunch of deals in the florida. Panhandle carolina colorado of course ohio michigan illinois wisconsin. So we generally like the mid west in the southeast quite a bit. We of course like the mountain west. But it's tough to find yield right now in our own backyard. Denver's been rather oversupplied and pressing expectations in dividend yields are just not what we can find in some of these more secondary markets. How're you finding these. Are these Something that broker brings you chop off market or combination. We've i've done a little bit of both. We did a. We applied some of our single family marketing practices to self storage acquisitions and we played about ten million off of a direct mail campaign. It was a pretty basic letter to saying. Hey we're not brokers were buyers we love to give an offer on your facility and the rest of our acquisitions have been just through our broker network. I hate using the term off market because often an off market deal maybe not a good deal but we've gotten a few we believe really good off. Market deals just through broker relationships for the listed We did a twenty million dollar. Acquisition in michigan and that portfolio was not listed. We got through a broker contact in gave him a price that made sense for the sellers and enclosed so most of us broker networking but a little bit of direct to seller initiative. As well
Supreme Court Rules Catholic Group Doesn't Have to Consider LGBTQ Foster Parents
"The U. S. Supreme Court has sided with the Catholic foster care agency that cited its religious beliefs for excluding gay couples as foster parents it was unanimous decision considered a victory for religious groups as the court said the city of Philadelphia was wrong to curtail its relationship with Catholic social services because the group wouldn't work with same sex couples the decision was based solely on the facts of this case and is not a broader ruling on how to balance religious freedom with anti discrimination laws L. G. B. T. Q. groups say that they're glad this wasn't a blanket ruling three conservative justices said they would have gone much further Jackie Quinn Washington
Key Takeaways From the Biden-Putin Summit
"Bannon is back from his first foreign trip as president, and they give it a high stakes meeting with Russia's Vladimir Putin Yesterday. The highly anticipated meeting with the Russian president lasted more than three hours, with both leaders covering a host of topics. A B. C s faith of Blue Bay with the key takeaways as the White House looks to reset the U. S relationship with Russia. The talks between both nations will continue through ambassadors on cyber attacks, a new nuclear agreement and a potential prisoner swap. Both fighting and Putin emerging from the high stakes summit in Geneva, projecting confidence and describing a positive tone. During the talks, the president confronting Putin on a range of issues, including cyber attacks and human rights violations, both sides agreeing previously expelled ambassadors will return to their posts and continue the talks. Biden, giving it six months to a year to see whether conversations yield any result. With a
Harriet Tubman, the Ultimate Outdoorswoman
"Everyone knows harriet. Tubman as an activist and freedom fighter. We all learned about her in school. Growing up how she led slaves to freedom on the underground railroad but there was a lot more to her than what you probably remember from history class. She was a daughter a wife an entrepreneur and she was something else too. When you think about it she had to be the ultimate outdoors woman. Do what she did. That's right an outdoors woman. We don't often talk about. Harriet tubman in that light. Or if we do. It's kind of cautionary tale. Her experiences in the outdoors must have been so awful. So why would any sane black person wanna go into the wilderness voluntarily it feeds into the narrative. We often hear that african americans are not outdoorsy. But what if there's more to the story. What was harry. Its relationship with nature. How does that shape. The way african americans with the outdoors today and how might a closer look at harriet. Offer a new perspective on who belongs outdoors victoria. Marin has the story so this story was inspired by a podcast called following. Harriet which is about harriet. Tubman the show pulls back the curtain on harry. It's life giving listeners. A deeper context to her story. A story that i think is more layered and probably more relatable than many people realize most of us enter. Harriet tubman is life when she was in her thirties forties fifties and often times. We don't sort of think about how she came to be. Harriet people of my generation people who grew up in the nineteen seventies. We first met harriet in a photo in the corner of a textbook. She looked old. Her skin was stretched tight on her face. Her mouth was pinched. Her head was wrapped in a dark. Kerchief
The Neuroscience Behind Making Mistakes and How Failure Opens Doors with Josh Harris
"It's a kayla. Go back and see the mistakes and grow. We need to change and it's good to change and it's also good to go and see the impact of how we think and try to fix it as far as possible. And that's a really admirable thing. So i wanted to just under you for that. Thank you so much you know. It's it's a scary thing to do though because when you open that door to consider that you've got some things wrong you have to deal with regret and you can't always just easily fix that right. You can't make it better. You can't make the person that you hurt feel better about things. So it's a it's a scary process for. I think all of us at is to have you handle that process. Have you learned the listens and dealt with regret word of you. you've done. Who with a big picture and we can kind of go into the detail however you want to know well you know. Sometimes people i talked to say. Oh you're so courageous. Or how did you come to see these things. And i don't really feel courageous because the truth is is that me waking up to see areas that i had been legalistic where i had taught things that were controlling to other people and harmful. It really took massive failure in my own life to begin to question in other words. When everything's going great when you feel like you're on top of the world you don't second guess yourself you don't question things and so it really took things falling apart in different ways for me to kind of let go of that identity of being you know the author who had all the answers about dating relationships the pastor who could stand up teach thousands of people the husband who had the great marriage and so. You should listen to him when he talks about relationships. All those kinds of things. Like i had to fail in those different areas in order to say. Maybe i don't have all the answers. Maybe i need to listen to other perspectives. And honestly that listening to other people's stories that were different than mine and in many ways began to show me you know begin to mirror. My own story helped me to see things that i hadn't seen before so the pain of failures something. We often want to run away from but for me really was a door to to change and to to
Making Things Free Is Ok
"Okay paid subscription formats whereas content creator. You're paid for the content. You produce looks ten ten by and fight. The world new share for free can indirectly linked to income or giving your reputation a boost at the same time many cases free is what leads to paid producing work and giving it away for free. Doesn't mean that you become trapped in the expectation that you will do everything for free. So it's champion the word you share for free and recognize that it's this content which helps people become attached to you. And you view. The world wants to come alongside june on the how you can help them. They may well become paying customers. Free for me as it's allowed me to tune into my audience with an emphasis on creating a relationship. Robin just effect in a transaction. Everything has to be a revenue generator in its own right. creating connected. experience means that you'll content can feed into other elements of your business. For instance with the media the mix of events and learning creates the income stream free very often indirect path towards being paid. They ask getting people to sign up to hear your way of seeing things for me. It all starts with the subscribe page anew new the media code uk. Make it too complicated and people won't want to play with you. The monetize cara is being dangled in front of many creators businesses. For instance apple has recently announced their intention to introduce pay podcast subscriptions and use that to services from providers such as sub stock. The ghost are inviting to scale up by encouraging pay subscriptions from narrow audience subjects making notable in road in this area with five hundred thousand paid subscribers across an audience of one million users. It's perfectly natural that people would want to be rewarded financially for the time and effort invested in creating and writing however to make money this way. You need to make an audience in the first place. If you don't have an audience and thing you can make money again for many people. using places. Such as sub stock is a case of sharing for free until they built a sizable audience than ever extending what they do to create special paying subscribers. It's rations of their work or
Angelina Jolie Caught Leaving Ex's Residence Again
"She was seen leaving her ex-husband. Johnny we milas apartment yesterday for the second time this week forgot something and how source close to scholley tells me news the to have been quote unquote good friends for years and their kids are pals. I'm not buying this. Your first of all i heard jonny lee miller i was thinking like there's so many people that didn't even know she was married before brad pitt. Like there's so many people that did you know cam you really don't i mean i. Even i know ram stuff. I am buying this. I think that they are just friends things. She's visiting. I think he's got some little press with some flings and she's go. Why are why she going back to. The i o guess i did. You know why she's doing it. It's hard to find a man who accept you six kids and it's even harder to get back into the swing of dating when you just been through a rough divorce. She's going back to what she knows. She's comfortable with holding. I still think she can visit and have adult time. I don't think she's trying to necessarily get back into a relationship. I have said this on many daily episodes. We should go back and find the footage. I don't think she is ever going to get remarried ever again. I don't think she's gonna be in a long term committed relationship. I just don't see that for her. I think she's committed to her children the way way that other person whose name
Three Degrees of Separation From Neil Fallon With Rockie Brockway
"We are here with the most patient guests on the planet earth because we had some technical difficulties morning. Rockie brockway is currently the practice lead for the office of the cfo. Wow that sounds like really formal. And i'm gonna say trusted sec. Which just makes me think of dave and formal in dave. Don't go together but this learn more about that. Twenty eight years of experience and information security business risk rocky you specialize in business risk analysis in the inherent relationships between data assets adversaries and the organization's brand value you provide strategic and tactical advisory services for trusted set clients assisting them in maturing their organization security programs so first of all thank you so much for being here and being patient thank you. It's a pleasure to be on podcast. I'm excited actually to learn a little more about first of all this title even means the practice lead for the office of the cfo for trusted sec. Because that's not something i've heard before. So what is what. Does that even mean church. So so at trust the sec. My role and my team You know really is working close with organizations in kind of that virtual chief information security officer just from an activity perspective Helping organizations further mature their security programs really taking a look at how organizations can better align the the protection of important stuff Really with the business right. So there's so much that from a from an organic security program growth perspective that doesn't know inherently are naturally aligned with you know what the business is actually trying to accomplish. Security tends to be kind of a bubble over here for many organizations and so we we try to break down those barriers help. Organizations help really help organizations at our align all those activities around protecting the important things with the with business need in an requirements.
Be Honest, What Limiting Beliefs Do You Have About Yourself?
"Three to one. And we're back. We've got a really cool topic. And this is something julian. I've been tossing back and forth a couple of weeks. And i'll tell you where the idea of. It's probably going to be in two or three podcasts. Little mini series where this came from is that sometimes You have these limiting beliefs about yourself and your potential and your life and your relationships and finances and help. They go and check in your mind for long periods of time to the point where these thoughts become innate and other words because they're unchecked you actually think subconsciously almost it becomes part of your your heart your hard core hard rooted software about what you think about life and i on a call with actually a listener and the listener was I think in their sixties early sixties and they were not where they wanted to be in these thoughts together sort of randomly. Because i have so many calls. But this is the essence of what i remember was they were having these limiting beliefs about their potential for financial freedom because of their age and this person remember correctly like i said early sixties and as i was talking to them trying to root out why they believed that they can't create some financial security for themselves because they're basically quiet despair about the idea that they would never be able to remove financial burdens from their back this person in particular of course this relates to a lot of people right and so i was joined down and the essence of their belief about why they wouldn't be able to achieve financial security let alone independence. Finally be free was because they think they thought that their health was fragile. And which i thought was interesting and so again as a good coach will do the. I question them about that. Ask them. it's possible right. This person could fragile health. This person could have a lot of extremists health issues. And so i i asked them about this particular issue or any issues that they might have turned out. The head nun.
Erika Jayne's Bankruptcy Lawyer Has Dropped Her as a Client
"Hills. She was dropped by her lawyers following the release of that Hello documentary, the housewife and the Hustler. Um they, her law firm filed paperwork to withdraw as her counsel in her husband's Chapter seven bankruptcy case. And um, notified her. Also on Monday, the same day that the documentary aired. The lawyers are saying that their relationship of trust and confidence that's essential to a you know a functioning properly functioning attorney client relationship has broken down and so The relationship is irreparable, and now she needs to retain new attorneys. Erika Jayne filed for divorce in November after 20 years of marriage to this Tom Girardi right, so the case is ongoing because he was forced into involuntary bankruptcy. These two, according to one lawyer who spoke in the documentary. They are in this together in these bankruptcy proceedings, um, a lot of the debts that they owe. They probably go together. It's going to be hard for her to say that she didn't know anything that's going on. If you remember she's listed. She's listed as a secretary of one of his Elsie's. Oh, and also Money was transferred from one of those LLCs to her company, E. J. Global, Alright. They are accused of really pretending to divorce also that they can just move these funds over to her and say that. Oh, that was a gift that doesn't count in the divorce proceedings so they could protect some of their assets. Yep. So now, although Erica Jean has not he's been a I believe
'Two Great Powers': Biden, Putin Plunge Into Hours of Talks
"President's bite in improving have started their day long summit in Switzerland I would like to welcome you to Geneva the city of peace the two men shook hands after being greeted by their Swiss counterpart outside an eighteenth century manor house overlooking Lake Geneva a picturesque site for a decidedly tense encounter inside Putin said through an interpreter the relationship has a lot of issues and I hope that our meeting will be productive thank you nice onsite it's always been president Biden calls at a meeting of two great powers and says he wants to find areas of mutual interest though neither side is predicting any breakthroughs Sager mag ani Washington
How to Be More Present in Your Intimate Relationships
"To be present. Try to be president. I really believe niece does. It's like when when couples have learned mindfulness when both of them have learned how to be self aware in the moment to be able to come openly into the moment and be there with the other person in full presence not stuck five years ago present. Everything changes will say what our partners our spouses our our relationships. Our families want from us isn't more presence like material presence like christmas gifts his presence. They want more sense that we are grounded right here with them attentive to them accepting of them in the moment with them not trapped in old stories not angry about the stress or the you know freaking out about the worries of next week or next month bills but rather at dinner with them in the moment with them on the walk with them living in the present with them in this one i would guess probably brought up because it's so important in times of conflict to be present with them and to be i would say if i had to think about like my presence with denise were when we're struggling or when we're argument i would say if i could give my like i knowing knowing what she needs in that moment. More than what. I'm kind of built or i was condition to is is. I grew up. Is that presence with tenderness.
What Is Disordered Eating with Melainie Rogers, Founder of Balance Eating Disorder Treatment Center
"Talk about the lay of the land as far as what what you think are see statistically is disordered eating. I think cements people even a label. People don't like their relationship with food with an example. I was at a birthday party this past weekend. The topic of fasting intermittent fasting came up with the folks there and they were talking about man. I just feel so like psychedelic. When i'm like going on my third day of my faustin just like talking about experiences. Connections do it justice A metaphor for our lives in a big part of our lives as well And they asked me like we'll have you ever tried intermittent passing like dude. I was the queen of fasting in the day. And i just. I don't do anymore but it is so commonplace that there's all these a diet chocolate a bit about what you're seeing the doors of. Maybe he will think bad relationship and soon but are not labeling themselves or don't want to label themselves either but they want help with the relationship with food absolutely so you know a lot there and it's so true right econ go anywhere without people telling you about the latest dining whether it's kito or intermittent fasting of course is big thing right now and everyone has an opinion about it and and so what i like to think about is to ask the question. What's going on for that person before. They decided to reach out to try intermittent fasting or try the kito diana whatever unusually. It's because they had distressed about their body image impulsively they white and they may have tried other diets before. And i haven't worked and i say that inverted commas because we know that ninety five percents diets fail. I'll get to that lineup. So i'd like to ask you. What was your relationship with food. And what was your relationship with your body light before you decided to pursue intermittent fasting. What's what's the real motivation around. And usually some ability or attempt to control your white and you calories and in a way that you're looking for that civil
How to Check Your Motives Before Moving
"We give many privileges we give up a great deal of power and authority here in the earth by not being willing to go all the way with got. Let me ask a question day. Have you received christ as your savior but not yet made him your lord. There is a difference. I always say that. In one thousand nine hundred seventy six. I got serious about my relationship with god and you know what. I was born again when i was nine. I was saved but i didn't know anything and if you don't know anything then you have no direction you don't know what to do. And when god touch my life in nineteen nine hundred seventy six. He began a spiritual maturity project in me. That was hard. But i've seen god do some amazing things in me and through me because i've let him work in my life and i believe it's my job to not only see people come to christ but to help the believer mature and grow up so they can have what jesus died to give them. I want you to have the life that jesus died to give you. I don't want you just to hear about it. Are saying about it or hear sermons about it or look forward to it. I want you to have it. I want you to have the righteousness the pace the joy. I want your needs to be met. I want you to be fruitful. And i think that you want that to
Shima Baradaran Baughman of the University of Utah on the Police Myth
"The movement for black lives as forces societal reckoning about the relationship between police and disaffected communities and has given tracks into removing police funding nationwide. The literature is focused on critiquing the mistrust of police among communities of color due to abuse and marginalization with remedies including police training to encourage treating people with dignity policing literature fails to fully address a core 'cause police mistrust for people of color in the poor to address. The symptoms of policing failure requires consideration of the purpose of function police. Indeed a core problem is a misunderstanding of policing. That i call the police. The police myth is a twofold belief that our primary function of police crime control and that police all crimes. Regularity reliance on the police. Smith may provide societal comfort but as made it difficult to address basic policing failure without understanding. What police actually do and their relationship with crime is impossible to reimagine policing the police crime in large part contribute to the distrust between police and community color creating a cycle where people refused to report to police and police fail to solve crimes. American policing costs hundred fifteen billion per year. It is worth evaluating. This number in terms of the public service received as solving serious crimes only constitutes a tiny fraction of police function. my research demonstrates that police only solve serious felony crimes about twenty percent of the time while the police defunding movement is gaining support. Critics claim that is highly impractical and that reducing policing would increase crime but if police are neither allocating a large portion of their time to addressing crime nor solving most major crimes would defunding police actually increase crime. If this is the moment to consider police reform a meaningful dismantling of the police myth could be part of the solution
Rep. Adam Schiff and Other Democrats Leaking Away Classified Information
"So he's got a big investigation going on arrogant. No attorney general Huge investigation here from Axios at Garland's discretion. The DOJ inspector general has opened an investigation into the Trump era. DOJ is use of secret subpoenas. To obtain data belonging to House Democrats again. They only cared when it happened to Democrats. Says. Here's the big picture. At least a dozen people link the House Intelligence Committee. The House Intelligence Committee, including Adam Schiff and Eric Swalwell, both fierce critics of former President Trump won, by the way had a little relationship with Fang Face still hasn't told us about that had their records sees between 2017 in early 2018 is part of the leak investigation. Democrats in Congress have launched their own investigation they demanded, former Attorney General Bill Barr and Jeff Sessions testified. Not only this shift and small while and others leak away to the media, giving away potentially classified at minimum for official use information because they don't care. I mean, these are obviously partisan hacks committed to the destruction of their political opponents. All any and all people and obstacles get in the way they'll barge right through law regulations. Decency. They don't care that Democrats, not one bit Nobody said a peep one. The same thing happened in
The Return of "Bennifer"
"Here. The nineties the nineties are back dude. The nine back there like early. Two thousands vendor for is like the early two thousands And i have been dying to talk about truth. The early two thousands are badly to thousands. Thousands are back in every way we have benefactor. We have the straight leg jeans sash. We had the fashions the tiny person once. Hang on the now whom i. Who am i kidding but there. Yeah it's back in so many different ways but ivan super excited to talk about benefactor. Because i am like rooting for benefit. Twenty twenty one. To be honest. I am too and i feel like the entire internet is reading preventative for. Everyone seems to be happy about it. Everything i've seen on. My timeline has been very pro for team benefactor. Were happy about it. We're proud of j. Lo were like relieved for band. And i feel like yellow is just like i feel like she was reading her engines waiting to get out of that relationship Again when she like got out of it she really got out of it like sprint. I mean obviously like we can only make assumptions about celebs because we don't them. But yeah i feel i feel like when j. is done with a relationship. She's like done with it like she doesn't waste time. She moves on like at least like to the public. I right of course we never know blah blah blah what goes on internally or like in her little circle but i do feel like again. I don't know j. Lo but i feel like she really really loved ben affleck. She had like the album she on her album when they were together. I'm blanking on the album. Title right now but like That's like the jenny from the block album. She had she was in the videos. She had the salt a little song named bed. Yeah like the song was like an dedication to him. The album a dedication to him. And so i feel like she really loved him and i feel like the rumor was at his parents. Didn't want him to marry her. Which like he called off. The engagement allegedly
"relationship" Discussed on GSMC Relationship Podcast
"And then i look back at myself and i was like well. What do i know because my uncle is happily married with his wife and he moved out to canada and he's fine. So what do i know. Another thing that i read was time will be your enemy and when i read this i was like whoa. That's a strong statement. Time is the enemy but like actually correct because time like i said scheduling is so so important and time might really work against you guys in a relationship especially along this relationship. I know i mentioned earlier. Time zones. if that's a factor. Good luck charlie. Because that is so hard to navigate around time zones plus individual schedules and routines. Time is going to be your enemy. I thought that was a little bit harsh of a statement but it's true. Just let it sink in. If you're trying to pursue a long distance relationship just let it sink in. It might be enemy. It's gonna take a lot of hurdles to jump over. But time ooh man good luck but again i just want to be negative in say long distance relationships are never going to work blah blah blah. But it's going to be hard. Like i said but if you can do it you can do it. Kudos to you if you can manage your time and your partner's time and create a successful relationship through that then time isn't your enemy okay. You are the winner. This one that i read was kind of funny. It said technology is going to be your significant other. And i thought that was kind of funny in kind of sad because obviously when you're in a long distance relationship you're going to be doing all the communication through technology texting calling video calling voice messaging all that good stuff and that is all through technology. It's really no face to face. Contact physical contact. So you're going to be glued to your phone. You're going to be glued to your laptop. You're gonna have to respond through an email taxed through facetime. Call all that good stuff so make sure that your devices are charged. Make sure that your notifications are on. Your ringer is on. So you're aware whenever your significant other tries to contact you because you never know maybe the couple minutes they took to call you or the only a couple of minutes they had in the day to call you so you really wanna be aware and notice the moments that they're reaching out to you the moment that they're texting you so you can respond in a timely manner and just keep the communication alive. You don't wanna keep anybody hanging. You don't wanna have a text come in at like one pm and then only respondent like seven pm. Because you're busy if you can just respond right away and just know that a quick text a quick. I'm busy but i'll call you. Later is good enough to kind of keep things out bay for the moment. You're good to go. You just have to communicate and be able to talk to each other and just know when you guys are on each other's schedules available to talk. So that's what i'm saying. Keep your phone next to you. Ringer on notifications on fully charged. Get an extra charge in the back. You never know now. This last thing that i read seemed even more harsh than time is your enemy. But this one said it won't get easier in time and that's kind of the opposite of everything that everybody says. Everyone's always like it'll get easier in time. Time will heal all things. But i guess not. According to long distance relationships it doesn't get easier according to this website. Where i found all of this information from that i did. My research for time doesn't make it easier. I mean of course we'd like to think it would be easier once you're couple months into a long distance relationship but problems are always going to arise just like any normal relationship but it's just a different set of problems it's a different set of problems with different stakes and again if you're able to handle them and solve those problems and figure them out in a beneficial healthy way then. You're good to go but you just need to be aware that it's never going to get easier. There's always going to be problems and long distance relationships. They're made for the strong. They are made for the strongest of the strong people in this world. Long distance relationships aren't for wishy. Washy people who are just chilling. Doing nothing they are made for people who are ready to put the work in so when you're in a long distance relationship or you're thinking of being in a long distance relationship you have to ask yourself this. Are you willing to put in the work. And if the answer is no then your answer is no then. Don't do it but if your answer is yes then man oh man go back to the stages of being in a long distance relationship communicate and build that foundation of trust and like. I said you're good to go now. Of course there's a bunch of things that i probably haven't touched on and a lot of other things that no one's really ever talked about when it comes to long distance relationships but like a lot of things it depends on the person it depends on the relationship. Everything is different. Every relationship is its own. It's all unique so problems for one relationship might not be problems for another and vice versa. But just being aware of of the overarching problems such as time and scheduling and emotional roller coasters. And all that good stuff can help you. Better prepare and really know what you're getting yourself into when you're thinking about going into a long distance relationship and this is why i wanted to share these little things even though like i said they seem negative and angsty towards long distance relationships. But i would rather tell you guys this stuff so you can be aware of it instead of just keeping you guys. At long distance relationships through rose colored glasses thinking everything is peachy keen and sweet. Because it's not a no relationship is it takes work man. It takes work. But now that i hit you guys with the reality check. We're going to go into our last segment of the episode. Where i share some really cool gifts that you can give your significant other if you are in a long distance relationship and some cute little tidbits on how to spice it up in your relationship so stay tuned for that and we'll be right back after this commercial break..
"relationship" Discussed on GSMC Relationship Podcast
"Build a strong foundation of trust so that the emotions of anger jealousy don't arise having that trust being solidified in the beginning having those boundaries clear and knowing how to solidify faithfulness with your partner is so important and it's going to take a lot of work and a lot of communication but once you're good then you're good stage. Five is the acclamation and formation of habits. This is a pretty chill stage. You know once you're in a long distance relationship for a while obviously habits start to form routines form you get an. I love you text every morning. You get a good night text. Every night you get facetime call in the middle of the day and it's just your is is routine. It's what works best for you and both of your schedules. And that's natural. And that's all good and dandy but what becomes a little tricky is when it starts to feel like an obligation it starts to feel like a chore and something so simple like texting someone every morning or every night doesn't seem like it would become a chore or feel kinda tedious in any way but it's natural if it does happen and it kind of feels a little annoying to have to do that all the time. Sometimes you don't wanna facetime in the middle of the day but since that's the only time you can facetime with your partner it's a chore it's an obligation it kind of feels forced in some moments and when that happens don't be angry. I don't feel like the relationship is falling apart. Don't feel like it's not gonna work just communicate and try thinking of different ways to break the habits start new habits start different routines because it's going to get boring after a while. If you're doing the same thing over and over again every day for months and months it's gonna be boring for one of you guys at some point in time so spicing it up changing it. A little bit is all good and actually really healthy for the relationship. Just make sure that you guys are all on the same page and it works for both of your schedules and you get to go. Stage six is the comfort zone and this one is probably the most applicable to kind of all relationships not just long distance relationships but this one is very very important because in the comfort zone. You'll find yourself obviously in a relationship with somebody and you'll realize that you're going about your daily life not really thinking about them as much as you used to Not really texting them as much as you used to calling them. You just feel comfortable living your life and you kind of take your partner for granted which obviously normal and it happens in every relationship long distance or lower. But it's very very important to make sure that you are not taking your partner for granted and not getting too caught up in your own life to the point where you completely forget about your partner because that is really going to shape how your relationship either moves forward and become stronger or it can possibly be the dead end if you guys to stop talking to each other as much as you used to and you stop thinking about each other the stakes are really low and you can easily just break up with them and you never have to see him again because you're not seeing each other anyway. It's very easy to just quit at this stage the comfort zone. It's very easy to just step out and live your own life and find somebody new that you can see every day but if you really love the person that you're in a relationship with tread the comfort zone with so much care because it's so easy to fall off in this moment but if you don't and you communicate man oh man you're going to get a stronger relationship in the future and i know i keep saying communicate at like every stage but communication is such a big important thing people. Just don't do it and it's so hard to do some going to keep drilling it into this episode. Communicate communicate communicate with your significant other whether it's a long distance relationship or a regular relationship but especially if it's a long distance relationship obviously you guys are only communicating through taxed or through phone calls or facetime or other video call systems so communication is already at the forefront of relationships. So just communicate about your feelings. I know it's really hard to do. I know but just do it. It'll be better okay. Now stage seven. This one is a doozy for sure. This one is doubt and uncertainty because doubt is one of the most evil villains in every single relationship and it sidekick is uncertainty and together. They're going to try and ruin your relationship. But like i said if you have a strong foundation of trust and good communication skills then stage seven. It won't even be an issue for you. Doubt and uncertainty will not win this round because the only way you can navigate this stage in a good proactive way is to say with me. Guys communicate you need to let your partner know how you feel how you feel about certain doubts in your relationship. What you feel uncertain about questions that you have feelings that you have you have to speak your mind barrier soul barrier heart and all of your emotions leave them all out on the table just do it. Because then you'll get the clear answers that you need. That's all you need the way that you defeat. Doubt and uncertainty is with answers. And how do you get answers through communication. I can't say it enough guys. Just communicate come on now. Let's say you're listening to this podcast. And you're like bibiana stop. I hate communication. I'm not going to do it. I hate it so much. I'm never going to communicate with my partner..
"relationship" Discussed on GSMC Relationship Podcast
"Welcome back you have been listening for a little while. So you know that i've been talking about toxic relationship the different types and why we're attracted to this people now. I'll be talking about how to get out of a toxic relationship. It really can't be with your parents friends and even a partner you need to be in a healthier environment and you have to take care of you. I understand that every relationship has their flaws and it's normal to fight and not agree in everything but people. They want to control everything they want to feel. They have control of every little situation. And that's why they're always judging you in criticising you they want people to feel minor than them they wanna feel lucky that king of the world or the queen of the world toxic people become toxic their own traumas either in their childhood or something that happened while they were young adults or teenagers. Or that's what. They learned their house in a toxic relationship. You'll see the locked up. The lack of empathy respect and compassion. The pro- the problem is that toxic people. They know when a person is good and they know that the person is going is never going to leave them because that other person that healthy person will try to fixed a relationship. We'll try to have a communication with them which is what they want because they can. They can have control over this person. Let's put it like this. You're toxic friend is always wanting to go out but when you guys to you are the one that always needs to do whatever they want. They really don't ask you. They re don't ask what you wanna do and you don't you don't have any word in anything in a healthy relationship. They support you and you grow to be a better person. And it's always fifty fifty. It's never a one way street in toxic relationship. It is like that they will manipulate you. Lie and they're the ones who control everything. It's something that really changes. Because they don't see that they have a problem again. They've been race with this or they been thinking that all of that they're doing as good. It's totally normal. You may be asking okay then why. It's hard to leave a person that is tweeting you the way that they're not supposed to well because because as i've been talking about they try to manipulate you. Let's say that. Let's say that you tell them that. You don't wanna talk to them anymore. You wanna break it off but then they start buying new things and whatever you want they start doing and that's how they convince you they know your insecurity your insecurities and they take advantage of that. They try to make you feel acceptable. So you stay in so you saying that relationship walking away from a toxic relationship can be hard but it's always a brave move especially if you're being abused mentally physically and emotionally. You're tired of feeling that you don't that you do everything wrong and that you are the problem when in reality. You're not you need to do. You need to do this for your mental health because being on healthy relationship can bring can bring depression anxiety and stress. You need to love yourself and one and for all understand that they're not going to change and of course if you have kids you need to think about your kids a swell. You know won them being raised in that toxic environment. Where you feel like you don't matter and then of course if they learn that behavior they're going to repeat that behavior with you or with their future partners or friends. Of course it's a totally different saying a toxic relationship than accepting your partner the way that they are but but of course you can accept this person if be littering you and making you doubt yourself. That's not again that's not normal. That's not i mean again. That's not healthy once again. I know i'm repeating myself but if you think that you are not strong enough to say goodbye to this person look for support a support group or talk to a therapist you need to get that self esteem back up and try to be happy and think about your future and of course about your mental health because once you get out of that toxic relationship you're gonna see that things will go your way of course at the beginning is going to get really worse because you think that you need to rely on this person when in reality you really don't want us human beings. We are one person we were born alone. We will die alone. we can do this. We don't have to rely on anybody else. I know that e c saying it and it's really hard doing it. Because i been there. Of course i've been trying to work myself but it takes time of course try to notice the red flags before moving in or getting married with your partner and even when you're talking you'll start to see legal things as a wall so don't ignore them dome you know. Don't swipe it under the rug. If you see that there are checking your phone or that they tell you that you are that they tell you that they need your location because they won. I know where you are. Or they don't trust you or they're always telling you what you doing cannot do just go. It's not a healthy relationship and it's not going to be better if you guys day for if you stay for the long her long haul your person that someone trust me. We'll treat like a flower and now like a weed in the in a a weed in the middle of the driveway and my first relation. My my first relationship. It was tossing it was toxic. I've talked about this. I had really low self esteem when this person bite amita date him and i even the date it was really toxic experienced but a still stayed there because again of my low self esteem of course it was really hard to leave at first. Because i didn't want to be alone. And once i started in. I didn't wanna be alone. And this is what i end. I was comfortable as one the relationship. But once i got tired of this person treating me the way that i wasn't supposed to especially when he cheated on me wh- especially when he cheated on me was just a matter of a matter of time that i put my foot down and i and i started and started to stand up for myself and make you myself and making myself treat my for my first boyfriend. The way that he was treating me so of course one he once he started to see that i was like tired of him and not really scared of many more. He started to separate it he. We started to separate more more and i was being more independent. Of course i was being more independent. Of course i was in college. I was in high school anymore and i'm not scared of him. I've learned from that relationship because then on my second relationship with my second boyfriend it was a really supportive relationship but again as i said in the beginning it was me the one that was the toxic one because i didn't overcome my pass relationship and the fact that they cheated on me What the last person that i dated. I can say that it was a healthy relationship. Then in the middle of it a got talk sic and relationships now as well obviously were not together. We broke up well..
"relationship" Discussed on Relationship Advice
"What's going on guys. Thank you for tuning in. We hope you're having a great day today today. We welcome sex intimacy coach. Irene fair in irene helps couples bring sex impassioned into sexist relationships in fall in love with each other again. And you guessed it today. We have about sex. Let's talk about sex baby. Just kidding no no no all right guys. We're gonna know well sincere is not going to seem to you about it. We'll tell you about it talking about it. And we dive in to why sex dies out and the three types or stages of sex that most relationships pretty much all are going to go through because a lot of it's based on our biology in breaking it down that way. Irene helps us understand no matter what stage are in. Or maybe you're single and you're going to go through these stages how to think about them and communicate with your partner so that you don't end up fighting around sex or just having conflict and being upset about your sex life or not having sex at all and these things are difficult. I mean it happens to probably every everybody. Yeah i mean communicating about sex is probably one of the hardest things that we've come across and that i'm sure you guys have as well so i think we actually have a free guide that is on how to communicate about sex so i'll linked to that in the show notes because i know it's super valuable little worksheet that you guys can go through if you're struggling with that in your relationship check that out as always we appreciate you guys so much for tuning in listening to the show sharing with your friends and family leaving us. Those five star reviews that helps a lot. You know just spreading the word and that we can continue to give you guys. This great information were happy just to be getting it right along side you. We do appreciate it so enjoy. Today's show. today's episode is brought to you by our online course spark my relationship. Do you want to create more passion improve your communication and build a stronger more intimate connection with your partner in less than ninety days. Then you guys need to check out. Our online course spark my relationship. It is an online course. Like i mentioned that we created with over fifteen therapists and psychologists to bring you guys. These strategies marriage therapists t to their clients. We talk about it on the show. Relationships take work. Sometimes they functioned pretty easily and yukos along. But we've found the reality is you have to do work sometimes to make them better to change them so that they're more satisfying for both partners. And you've made it here. You've made it to listening to our show so you guys probably already know that a little bit but what you might not know are the specific tools and exercises that you need to create those lasting positive improvements in your relationship and like chase said. Change does not happen on his own. It takes hard work and that's why we created the course sport. One relationship is designed to infuse your life in relationship with fresh passion skills in wisdom and it's a self paced journey. That's perfect for turning up the heat having some fun together and revolutionizing your intimacy and communication and just some tools and strategies that the course includes is to how to eliminate unhelpful. Old habits develop mindful awareness to help improve your stress. Management learn healthy and successful communication tools. Create a deeper and more intimate bonn and strengthen your couple michael culture which you will find out what that is in the future together so for our listeners. Only we're offering a special of one hundred dollars off. The course visit sparked my relationship dot com slash. Unlock to unlock your discount. And there is a thirty day money back guarantee so there really is no reason to not give it a try so go to spark my relationship dot com slash. Unlock for.
"relationship" Discussed on Relationship Advice
"Left tribe. let's go nine guys. Thank you for tuning into today's show where we welcome back. Dr cheryl fraser. She's a psychologist sex therapist and author of buddhist bedroom the mindful loving path to life long passion and we always enjoy talking with shero shchukin. Check out in the show notes. Her past episode. Yeah on apology in Really like that one. And today we dive in and talk about passion in how to keep passion in the relationship reignited and she gives us some really great tools through the lens of breaking down to the passion triangle. And how we can think about and implement them in our relationship and one thing that she left us with and one thing that i think is so important. Is that to remember that we are all normal. She did some research i think. What a study of over twenty five hundred people and in that a number of people. There was a very very very small amount that said they were still enjoying sex with their partner. Small percentage rate boo us being a bit heart. It's still enjoying the it was like. They rated it as being passionate. Yeah yes it was. Only it was only like eight percent which it's like. Yeah but that's why relationships are in. That's kind of normal. You know so so you. You are not alone if you are struggling sexually in your relationship put it that way or just not feeling the passion of the first you know few months where it's easy cheryl breaks down why that passion is their early in how we can reignite it throughout a long term relationship and she has a lot of other cool points as she talks to about research that has been done in regards to responsive desire and especially within females and. I think we've actually done an episode. That talks about that. Research is also. I'll be sure to link to that in the show notes and as always thank you for tuning in and sharing with your friends and family and we hope you guys enjoy today's episode before we jump into today's interview we wanna tell you about our online course spark my relationship. Do you want to create more passion improve your communication and build a stronger more intimate connection with your partner in less than ninety days me up then you guys need to check out. Our online course spark my relationship. It is an online course. Like i mentioned that we created with over fifteen therapists and psychologists to bring you. Is these strategies marriage therapists. Teach their clients. We talk about it on the show. Relationships take work. Sometimes they functioned pretty easily and yukos along. But we've found the reality is as you have to do work sometimes in to make them better to change them so that they're more satisfying for both partners and you've made it here. You made it to listening to our show so you guys probably already know that a little bit but what you might not know are the specific tools and exercises that you need to create those lasting and positive improvements in your relationship and like chase said. Change does not happen on its own. It takes hard work and that's why we created the course sport. One relationship is designed to infuse your life in relationship with fresh passion skills in wisdom and it's a self paced journey. That's perfect for turning up the heat having some fun together and revolutionizing your intimacy in communication and just some tools and strategies that the course includes is to how to eliminate unhelpful. Old habits develop mindful awareness to help improve your stress. Management learn healthy and successful communication tools. Create a deeper and more intimate bond and strengthen your couple michael culture which you will find out what that is and the future together so for our listeners. only we're offering a special One hundred dollars off the course visit sparked my relationship dot com slash. Unlock to unlock your discount. And there is a thirty day money back guarantee so there really is no reason to not give it a try so go to spark my relationship dot com slash. Unlock.
"relationship" Discussed on The Relationship School Podcast
"They've already told you they're done and they're out of here. So why would you reopen the door that they just closed and tried to fire back a bunch of things or what about this or yeah but you when you didn't do this or did this to me like you trying to pry the door back open with a crowbar when they've already shut it. Hey what is up and welcome back to another episode of the relationship schools podcast. I'm your host jason. Gaddis good to be here with you right now..
"relationship" Discussed on Relationship Advice
"And we really loved talking to nausea today about all things gratitude. What is in how we can call. Vague it personally in in our relationships and i think as chase mentioned. It's super important to be proactive. Even if you feel like you are grateful. Most of the time with your partner is still a good tool to practice on a daily basis. So that you stay in a good place. Yeah nausea and describes it as medicine use the word magic wand or five year. Old daughter has a magic wand. And maybe that was in my head but yeah it's a really great tool and we loved having nausea on and we love you guys and appreciate you and we really are grateful for you guys tuning in telling your friends and family about the podcast leaving us. Those five star reviews. They're really helps us. Continue to grow and to continue to be able to offer the podcast for free and pay for sarah's production studio and all of the audio. she's our audio master. The tech master and and and the babysitter for kindling stella. While we're recording so she's not interrupting as much. But anyways. I could go on but we are grateful for you and enjoy today show before we jump into today's interview. Wanna tell you about our online course spark my relationship. Do you want to create more passion improve your communication and build a stronger more intimate connection with your partner in less than ninety days just signed me up then you guys need to check out. Our online course spark my relationship. It is an online course. Like i mentioned that we created with over fifteen therapists and psychologists to bring you guys the strategies marriage therapist teach their clients. We talk about it on the show. Relationships take work sometimes. They functioned pretty easily. Yukos along but we've found the reality is as you have to do work sometimes in to make them better to change them so that they're more satisfying for both partners and you've made it here you've made it to listening to our show so you guys probably already know that a little bit but what you might not know. Are the specific tools and exercises that you need to create those lasting and positive improvements in your relationship and like chase said. Change does not happen on its own. It takes hard work and that's why we created the course sport. One relationship is designed to infuse your life in relationship with fresh passion skills.
"relationship" Discussed on Relationship Advice
"I do to take advantage of this opportunity today. Is it ever okay to be in a somewhat one sided relationship. I'm just thinking of my grandmother. And i loved her to death in my grandfather unfortunately has passed but they had a very in my opinion on the outside just one sided relationship like she was the classic Housewife type and just kind of at his service in. But she's one of the happiest people i know and then and now obviously i don't know all the details of their fifty or sixty year marriage anyways. Can you speak a little bit. Two different dynamics at might appear to be one sided from the outside. It sounds like that relationship worked for your grandparents. And so if it's working for you and one is you know typically are genuinely more selfless and more of the giving partner. And the other is more of the taker. That actually might work. I would also say to that check in. With how one sided you feel over the over the long haul and so what i mean by that is a relationship ebbs and flows and has different seasons where one partner needs to pick up the other person's slack whether it's job loss and the other person has to financially contribute or provide for the family whether it's a partner who chooses to go back to school And the other partner needs to step in and take care of the kids more so than they You know would have before. That is A fair and reasonable one sided relationship for a period of time. And that's an agreed upon mutually agreed upon dynamics. The relationship has in that season. But if that season becomes grueling and it becomes a long winter and it's cold and damp. And dr then that might be a time where you re evaluate and save. This isn't working for me or for our relationship and that goes back to expectations that you're setting right at the beginning so that there's nothing lost on you and you don't slip into this dynamic and it stays long term and you end up becoming really resentful and bitter over time. These are important questions to ask ourselves in. Feel like it can be easy for people to just slip into these roles and especially in a long term relationship in its one-sided in in maybe only one area over time It could be better for you but because it's sometimes a little bit harder to rock the boat in a sense you just kind of stay in your lane and before you know it..
"relationship" Discussed on Relationship Advice
"Partner isn't giving yeah is unhappy because they feel like they're falling short. Yeah yeah yeah. I mean if a partner is is constantly giving and they're not getting anything in return they do start to develop low self esteem. You start to think poorly about yourself. You start to think you know. Maybe i'm not the right person for this for my partner may be I'm not meeting their expectations. You know maybe. I'm falling short. Maybe i'm not good enough. And if you're constantly experiencing guilt or resentment shame or embarrassment about you know taking on too much responsibility that you had to and feel bad. It wasn't reciprocated. You get burned out. You start feeling bad about yourself and empty about yourself and it's really times and maybe take a a moral inventory of how you're feeling and what you're looking for in a relationship and if you're unfulfilled than an and nothing changes then that's a big concern for how your relationship would sustain long-term you mentioned checking in in having a what i would say is like a hard conversation with yourself like am. I really happy in this relationship and that comes with all of our expectations and where those come from. How can we think about that question of like. How happy should we be in a relationship. Does that make sense right. You don't want to second guess what's really occurring in the relationship and how serious it might be right whether it's circumstantial or whether again we go back to am. I being unrealistic here and that goes back to looking at the relationship as a whole you know. How long have you been feeling like your needs. Have been on mets. How clear have you been about expressing your needs. how receptive is your partner. Been to hearing them Do they give with a selfish intense are they asking things of you. And gladly taking and Not asking you were checking in with how you're doing you know if you're thinking about yourself more than the other person..
"relationship" Discussed on Relationship Advice
"Hi april thanks so much for joining us back on the show. Thanks for having me today. We're going to talk about the recognition that you may be in a one sided relationship and obviously if you're listening to this podcast you have some kind of interest in improving your relationship and maybe your partner doesn't have that same kind of interest in that can feel pretty lonely and and whether it's wanting to improve the relationship or just general reciprocity across the board. It's got to be a really tough place. So you're going to help us in our listeners. Navigate that kind of situation today. So let's start by having you tell our listeners. How you've maybe see this in action and some ways that we can cope with it. Okay sure so. The definition of a one sided relationship is a relationship that lacks balance and equitable. Reciprocity so have you ever been in a relationship where you feel completely alone. Your partner could be physically present and in the room with you but you feel emotionally neglected or unseen. you know. this happens far too often. I see it happen far too often. And it's really a giver taker relationship and it makes it really impossible to have a fair and balanced one. You know one partner is the one that's giving and the other partners one happily taking it all in without giving you anything in return. It's exhausting to be in this kind of relationship in one person didn't have to be carrying the relationship along almost every area so some signs that you could be in a one sided relationship. The first sign is you do the majority of the work. You do things for them. But you don't get a lot back in return and it's important to notice if your partner is actually doing the things that you've been asking of them or that you want from them but they're doing it for their benefit and they're not doing it out of uncondition on an unconditional terms. You compensate for most things in the relationship. You make maybe excuses for their behavior..
"relationship" Discussed on Relationship Advice
"Tribe guys. Thanks for tuning in today. We have a great interview where we welcome back april elder and she is a licensed marriage and family therapist in fort lauderdale florida. She has been working with couples in private practice for almost a decade and has been featured as an expert in the field of couples therapy and relationship satisfaction on the gunman institute psychology today and brides magazine. And a april. In.
"relationship" Discussed on Relationship Advice
"Jordan. Thanks so much for joining us on the show. Today i and chase. I'm so happy to be here today. We're going to talk about something. That are both excited to talk about. Because a lot of times the shows tend to have. I don't know like a negative connotation because we're dealing with difficult subjects improving communication or if you're arguing in and today we're gonna talk about how to find pleasure in your relationship and with yourself so the way i'm thinking about that is like all the the positive things to instead of fixing communication we can say. How can we find pleasure in the relationship. So let's jump right in jordan and talk about how you think about finding pleasure in relationships. I realized that pleasure was the missing cheese. It was the missing piece for the women that i worked for in my private medical practice and it was the missing piece in their relationships. And if you want to use communication as an example when we're looking at it adds something to fix and we do have that negative connotation just feels had the and not like something that you want to work on But when we take it from a pleasure focus like how can we improve our communication and make.
"relationship" Discussed on Relationship Advice
"Own bedroom. And if you don't have a microphone obviously were pretending here but it seems like a valuable exercise. You could like taking. Just hold a pen. I have a pen in my hand right now. And just hand it to your partner when you're done talking and it kind of formalizes everything in maybe. I'm just picturing it for myself and will maybe help me not interject when sarah's talking and it can be Just valuable in to get over the fact that you know. It's not as spontaneous or maybe romantic and it's more businesslike but i think it could be more successful especially if you're having issues with communication. I think it's great. It's couples could definitely have gone with this. They definitely come up with whatever prop they wanna use or or no prop you know it really depends on the couple of. There's some couples who unfortunately often kind of talk over each other and it needs to be a little more rigid a little more formal for other couples. That are out of just early on in marriage. Just want to kind of stress and communication skills. But they're not Struggling so then they could just be. You know it's question of carving out some time for it. Just save the next half hour. We're going to try to focus on hearing each other better. Strengthening our listening and by extension strengthen communication. It's really exercise that anybody can do in an anti framework but that is a great place for our listeners to star if they're wanting to improve the communication within their relationship so is there another big key issue that you see that couples have a problem with in terms of communication within the relationship. So i'm very i'm a. I'm a big user of social media but at the same time of very sensitive to the drawbacks of social media. And i think that in the world in which we live today where so much of our communication is v via technology and the whole the whole the whole idea of a tweet kind of of controversy surrounding presidential tweets we have..
"relationship" Discussed on Relationship Advice
"You can find compromise right, but we'll. Unfortunately what most couples do is they go straight to try and figure out the compromise, or they just try and assert their position, and like kind of win right, versus if we take a step back and make it our objective to understand the other person, and why they have the preferences values priorities that they do. then. We'll be much better able to find a compromise that. Each of us, because now I know it's actually going on there for you, right? It's not just you craft. And I want artisanal cheese it's. Whatever values are behind why you want to spend less money and having less nancy cheese, and then you understand my values, and well as burner. I want you to be happy and you want me to be happy so. Now, how can we find a call? We love it. It's much deeper than just artisanal cheese story behind it, and it's true, and that's why it's important to try to understand your own personal relationship with money communicated with your partner, and have more productive conversations, and that is always important in especially now more than ever so Adam, thank you so much for for all this information and I wanted to ask you before we say goodbye definitely where people can find you online and I know you have a special offer for our listeners and also. If there's anything we kind of skipped over or something, we talked about that. You want to emphasize before we say goodbye. Thank you both of you for having me chasing Sarah. It's an honor to be on this podcast. Grateful such with your audience. I hope that there is a lot of value here today. we did a wonderful job. I think.
"relationship" Discussed on Relationship Advice
"Smerch for joining us on the show like so much for having me. Today, we're going to talk about a big one in that is your relationship and money and seems to be a big topic. It's often talked about as money being one of the leading causes for divorce, so let's jump in and talk about why money in relationships is so important in how couples can benefit from talking about it. Thanks for the question chase and. Really money affects every area of our lives rate and our relationships as well so you think about how often were spending money whether it's. Credit Card bills groceries at least in the old days going out to eat, maybe not as much now. It touches everything, and as you said unfortunately, it's one of the top causes of fighting and divorce and relationship stress. And the third thing which you often don't hear about these conversations, some people are like woman. Stop fighting about money, right? That's kind of the goal of their article on Youtube. Video for me. Yes, that's a goal with my clients, but really well I'm committed to his this through talking about money and having healthy communication around this topic, it will actually strengthen your partnership. Strengthen the quality of your relationship. Yeah, it's about opening that dialogue because there's a lot tied into money, there's a lot of emotion. In, if you're just not even talking about it, other than arguing about it usually. Then, obviously, that's not gonna be a good thing. So can you talk a little bit about maybe getting in touch with our own personal relationship to money so that we can understand it and then share it with our partner. Yeah, chase is one of my favorite topics, and it's the very first part of my process with everybody I work with is to dive into what I call your money and relationships story, and this is really just the sum total of the experiences. Experiences. You've had with money how you interpreted those experiences in felt about them. Maybe what you saw from your family, how money's been handled in pass relationships or in the current relationship? You're in up till now and these things play a massive role right? There's cultural impacts. There's things based on gender ethnicity sexual orientation, and there's all these norms and they all kind of feed into our brain. Now we may accept or reject at some of these norms are stereotypes right? In, but even if you reject enormous stereotype, it's still incredibly valuable to look into it because like you said most of us kind of just go. We're not really aware of it. And when you're not aware of it, you can't change anything, but when you become aware of what's going on in the background, what's there in your mind or and your subconscious? Then you actually have a chance to say okay. I like this one. I'm going to keep it right, and then my clients are like oh! I can't believe I've been doing that because of this experience. I had in the past right. I mean I had a client who? When, she was about ten years old, her parents got divorced, and there is such animosity that they cannot be in the same room, so my poor client I mean at the time. Of course she's much older now, but as a ten year old had to take the bills from her mom. Out The driveway get in the car with her father. Hand him the bills, and then he would basically mutter and yell about why they're spending so much and writer checked angrily and she'd have to go back and get that to her mother..
"relationship" Discussed on Relationship Advice
"Yeah. I mean people You know often people assume that relationship problems are the result of differences different ones different needs different personalities different ways of being in the world but in general the differences are not what caused the problems. It's how we relate to our differences that does you know we we very often. When we are communicating. A bow are different desires different. Needs what you're referring to know the attention. They are not necessarily on the same page Arounds decisions You very very often. We start talking about are different. Wants or different needs. We keep the conversation on the level of content. The content is what we're talking about. I WANNA stay home. You want to go out. But will we need to do is to bring that conversation down to the level of process? The process is how we are communicating. Never Communication has these two components the content and the process in most of tend to really over focus on the content and we tend to vote on process. The process matters more. So who do you think? For example about a conversation that you had made a week ago or maybe like a month or even a year ago. You chances are if you don't even remember what you talked about whole content might be gone but you probably still remember how you felt in that conversation. You probably still remember the experience of the process. So it's really important to remember that. Underneath the differences between people the differences we have is a relationship between people. And that's where we need. Our hope is to be when we are communicating. When we're trying to make decisions it's so important that we committed to hell. A process and healthy process easily is a process that has as its goal. Mutual understanding really. That's the reason we communicate in in the first place rated. It's simply too. You Know Hell. The other person understand our thoughts and feelings and have us understand their thoughts and feelings when our doesn't mean that we're GonNa want the same thing but if we don't have as our goal. Mutual Understanding Connection Essentially. We can wind up in a battle of justifications battler debates that goes on and on and on and just really ends up becoming very toxic and very draining. Win says is healthy. We can talk about just about anything without arguing and what our process is not healthy. We can talk about anything without arguing. I mean I'm sure you've seen people who are like really on the same page with just about everything in yet. They still seem to find a way to fight with each other. This is so valuable and just thinking back to the group conversation. We had a couple of weeks ago. It seemed like the process was was pretty good at least from my side. I was not the one leading. That's a Scottish in. But it was a friend group of like five couples and and it was very split across the genders and I thought it was just so interesting that this was going on that there was a lot of resistance from the the women in in. I think the men in the group we all we live in Costa Rica here and we all serve. And that's like that's our outlet. And so this did not affect our surfing. We were still able to go and surf under a recommendation by the by the friend group. Where we're having a discussion about to limit social interaction. Not going out to eat knock on a yoga class but the women it directly affected them big time in and so it was so interesting because I feel like what really got lost was the what should have been a mutual concern for all of everyone's health and it was pretty clear to me that it was more. The men are telling the women what to do here. It's very interesting I don't want to say experiment but just seeing these dynamics on in real time I remember the process and how I felt from the meeting. I can't remember everything that was said. And the the bay aspect of it but I remember feeling very powerless in a sense. Yeah and we we all rain. You just speak to your point about power We John Gottmann Did some interesting research. And he found that In heterosexual couples again on. That's what what is research was on the the relationships that thrived at fair. The best were those in which the male partners were opened the influence of the women in their lives And you know we are conditioned by these you know all of us are conditioned by Rod Social Systems on systems. Such as Hadrian's aver instance. You know some people refer to his sexism or the system that reads sexism in. We are conditions to relate to one another on whether it's across gender lines race lines or whatever may be in a way that reflects particular type of power dynamic. There's so much to think about. Just in in the Patriarchy in relating and then layer that into the context of the discussion that we had around the virus in health concerns just in general. It gets very interesting to me because we certainly want to acknowledge that and then there's power struggles and then to me then negotiation kinda comes in. How can we negotiate that? Because I'm not trying to scare people or anything but it can be life or death for some people in different situations too but if the women in this case they were resistant you know and and rightfully show and I understood but it seemed to the group and then the women did come around but like this is the safer thing to do but it took some a lot of negotiating imagine these conversations are are going on all over the place right now and are there any other tips or communication styles. We can employ to to negotiate but if the compromise is well I still want to go out and party with a thousand people in northern Italy. That's shut down but like at what point is it like no. I'm I'm making this decision for our family and that could be from from the female side or from the male side right and I don't mean to say that all of this is about gender is I mean. Obviously relationships are very class and we play lots of different roles in our relationships in in the world outside of just agenda Gender Relationships It's it's a very good question you ask. I think one way to think about or to address. Your question is to really think about how we can make decisions. That are relational decisions in our lives. Relational visions meaning decisions. That are good at four relationships. Non just our relationship with our partner but our relationship with the whole. That were part of Asking ourselves right now. The conversation has he continues to be to a large extent anyway and has been. We're talking about corona virus. What can I do to protect myself? How can I stay safe in this? Global Epidemic and. I think it's really important for us to start. To think more relational early and not. Just ask the question. What can I do to keep myself safe or even what can I do? Keep my family safe but you know how do we create an environment and a mindset? That helps all of us stay safe. You know how I really think about our choices and our behaviors in the way they impact others. So you know handwashing we started out talking about and this is actually a really good example. It's obviously important to wash her hands properly for selves. But it's also important to be doing this for a broader society rich. We're a car. The people strangers and non strangers that we come into contact with on a daily basis who may not have immune systems that are as strong as ours and yet who end up being subjected to Germs that we may have.
"relationship" Discussed on GSMC Relationship Podcast
"And real important part of this is to not make accusations. Remember 'cause you're being a listener. And when it's your opportunity to speak don't make use statements as though you're accusing someone as you'll you making accusations because that is something that stops the conversation and makes people feel defensive. So here's an example. I feel hurt when I don't feel like I'm being heard or if I'm I'm told that I've done something wrong. When I when I was trying to be helpful and important thing to remember is to not make what we call global statements and global statements, generally use words, like always and never these two words, always and never our exclusive. Meaning there there's no variable here, there's no possibility of maybe it could be something else. And when you say that then what the other person is hearing at least from the in the context of this type of discussion is there's no possibility that you are going to consider that. Maybe there is something else and in order to forward these kinds of breakdowns in communication. You have to stay open the possibility the possibility of the misunderstanding having. Itself corrected. So always never throw those words out of your Bula. It's too easy to use those and most of the time we do that because of habit. When we're talking and using those words, it just seems to make our position sound like it has more strength like it has more validity. But it doesn't more or less. It comes off as if you're trying to sell it rather than that actually be the fact I don't think you should try to sell your partner on the idea that you're right. I think you should be able to explain your point of view your partner. Explain their point of view. You share empathy and leave it at that that clear clean, honest communication, and you can validate each other from this particular place and not lose who you are in the process. And I think that's also very important. This is where you're building each other up being supportive of each other with the sole intent of really showing that you love your partner. And I'm here to tell you loving someone is not easy. There are lots of challenges trying to love someone. But this is what love is about. Because what you. You are able to give then you can expect that Rimmer you're making deposits into that that relationship Bank that love, and you can expect that saying kind of support from your partner, we all have our little quirks that make us difficult to love. And for that hats, why if you wanna be able to give some love in return just to be able to make up for your shortcomings, like I said this process works. It just is something that takes time. And they're going to be many opportunities in your relationships to practice. This. The empathy listening the not making the global statements. It's something that is tried and true. I've used it in my own life in if you're not able to speak to the person directly. Maybe you can send them a letter. Maybe you can send a text message. However, you communicate Email and let that process begin give the other person and opportunity to read it think about it. And. Curse him to respond and put things in there. Like, you know, I really hope that I can get a response from you. Because I want to work through this for us because I think we can do that. I think it'll make us both happy. See those are positive things to say. I'm going to take a break and I'll be right back after the message. The latest and hottest music hitting the airwaves left out..