1 Episode results for "Rehab Antigua"
545 - Tommy Lee & Brittany Furlan - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura
"Metal DOT com slash home security and get the government is trying to do just got to do all right all right. We're back now. They're episode of Your Mom's House. I WANNA be real clear. This recording recording is done way before you're hearing this The reason is we don't know how far Or to what extent the The lockdown will go there kind of there's new restrictions every day right now and you're hearing this probably about ten twelve days after we're recording it. I wanted to make that clear so that when you go like. Hey how come. They haven't talked about all the bodies in the streets. You know why Tom Tom. Hey I stepped over one hundred bodies today town. Hey about the surprise vaccine that they've discovered a surprise humanity vaccine that makes your eyes melt forgot about that. So yeah that's what's going on we are. We're so wanting to do just more and more podcasts. Because I mean we love doing podcasts. Be We've never had a mandated Like forced stop to stand up which feels so weird so it has been already about a week or ten days since I've done stand up and it's GonNa be it's GonNa end up being at least six or eight weeks very weird least right well when I went on maternity leave. I didn't do it for us right. I'm used to kind of you'll be surprised. It's like riding a bike you'll be. I know I'll be able to do it again. I mean I I just feel like you know I think my lawn my record for not doing stand up since I've started doing stand up is somewhere under three weeks. Well I've never gone over. That happens after three weeks. No I just. I've never had that type of. I think I've gone on vacation. And then you know had a break and it went like two and a half weeks or something. But I've had ever had it go. I mean you feel kind of odd. You know you just feel kind of you know you feel like you're missing something right. Yeah feels like a big part of our lives is just extracted right now. It's such a huge part of our how we communicate with a world and now I don't. I can't tell somebody jokes about retarded people. I can't talk about shifting in front of three or four hundred people at a time very damaging to me. I think you know what it is. I just realized I always wanted to be but I never became the guy who's like I like. I like working out but I've never been the guy who's like if I don't work out then I can't get the can't right so there are those people you know like they have to run ten miles I think stand up as a thing where if I go more than a certain period of time I really feel lost in the world now. I think I agree with you there. So that's the part that strange to me? You know what it is for me. It's I think a release valve of all my juvenile pent up Nestle. It's a way to release all those feelings. I don't know what to do with you and like It's a form of rebellion rebelling against society. I'm I'm sticking to the man and then they don't have that it's like where do I get? That from was third having online affairs. Or like right fetishes or something. Yeah I need that zing in life whereas Zanga come there does also the sense that the purge is real. You know that movie. You're like Oh one day you're you can come in all the crimes you want And I've thought about this would be an amazing time to you know. Follow a woman around grabber. Put her in a car. Taker somewhere do things you know. Like what stuff murders things. That kind of happened in my head. Is that your deepest darkest fantasy is a stealing a woman off the streets. And then I mean it's Kinda service level honestly. I wouldn't see you is that I saw you more as a rage full person where you would want a club somebody to death at ran as tight up. Yeah that's I don't think your darkest is a stealing somebody raping. I do feel like you're more of a beating person. You Kill Maim. Yeah can combine different fantasies woman because a woman is so helpless. Is that physically against us? Just one way. You don't want the challenge of another male. Oh no no no because I feel like seeing the fear in her eyes Got To be such a rush. You know I do think about that when I think about why they murder. Because I'm like I kind of get it 'cause it's the ultimate thrill it's the ultimate. There's nothing better I imagined than murdering somebody. There's no rush like that like jumping out of an airplane. That's why you're chasing that dragon. Yeah Africa's you felt amazing. Yeah but I also feel like the thing that I would really get off on. Is like you know seeing how scared she is knowing. She's never going to get away right knowing it's going to be and then going you know what I go. I kind of thinking about it. I really feel badly for what I did and I'm going to let you go and seeing are being like. Oh my God. You're right I'm not gonNA tell anybody I'm like all right so you promise not to tell anybody and she's like I promise I go all right. I'm GonNa let you go and she goes. Thank you and I go. I'm just kidding me. You give it to you then you then you bring out the bat. Yeah well you know what I heard. Is that serial killers once they kill it. Satiate sat rage for like a decade. Sometimes they get really full of love and side. It fills their heart with joy. So long is true. So is that what you need like once a decade? You do something like this. I don't know I don't know I'm thinking I think I got it. Take it for a spin and see whether suits me you know and I think this is the time to do it when you have. This type of panic. You have this distraction. You have people you know. And here's the thing if somebody doesn't see somebody now for a while who's GonNa notice everyone's at home warranty that's smart. We're going to be like Susan didn't show up to work today. We'll plus is no word that's right and there's no internet spotty so like. Oh we tax on her back she. She hasn't texted so a couple checks right now. You know you're absolutely right because I think what's so terrifying for me when I go to New York City. Go look out of my hotel room. And I'll just see all these windows of all these buildings and who knows who's trapped inside like people get just taken and dragged into these weird rooms in New York. I go through something like that. You're never you're gonNA never understand how gotten such a good mood like you're GONNA be like G. Now you're skipping around that and like is he having a fair. Just murdered kidnapped kidnapped. Jesus how kind of a woman are you going to kidnap? What kind What's your ideal because every type? That's true brunettes. Are we doing blondes? Are we doing Latin? Latin skinny women with big tits. Who constantly rag on you kind of the five. I'm like a Peruvian woman who farts in front of sinks. That kind of energy like the thing is too like I don't know if I wanna get the girl who I feel like. Has that submissive? Kind of you know Kowtow Nature. Who's like whether that's a thrill or get like a real bitchy type who it's more fun to poke and kind of products interesting. Somebody like somebody like Mommy. Maybe the little SAS tour. Who's WHO's laughing if I could change her nature a little bit. Yeah Yeah who's fighting now and then you just hold her down you I in your face and now I'm trying to find Liley light in this dark time and I think I found it. I feel like I'm seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. Now I'm trying to think of WHO I would want murder I is there a specific person. No I don't have a person that I wanNA murder but they do disturbs it way. But who's your time again? You don't WanNA submissive. You WanNA bitch but physically. Who's your type well to kidnap? I think I mean by nature. It's easier to hurt brunettes but I feel like by nature. It's easier to hurt Brunette. Yeah why just because but I mean what? What's your thinking there? Well you know I mean you don't really like them so I feel like second-class citizens and they deserve to be hurt. A little Komo. So but I feel like because the blondes have that you know that kind of elitist aloof quality to them then it might be more of a thrill to hurt them You know 'cause they go. Oh I'm blonde. Shut up okay. You guys heard it here so in case I disappear. This is evidence. The police can look at this. I baited you just need to get you to admit type is going to be my mugshot right here but seriously though in this so happy but in this time of quarantine and unsettled nece. A lot of people are taking stock of their lives and thinking and reevaluating. Have you had any any internal vision? Quests if you will any internal besides the wanting to murder that's very clear now up thinking about getting a boat. Yeah we're back to the boat thoughts on both thoughts. What kind of a boat? Just a hundred foot hatteras or something sunseeker and just yeah. Just go out there and live out in. The Ocean learned to dive muscle. Last thing you do diving. I can't think of something I want to learn less sort of mandated by our situation. Oh okay all right. We gotTA play opening clip. Get this show on the road. Okay got it you know. I even feel good just talking about those murder fans. I wonder what that means like. I feel like I did it. And I'm in full of energy. Yeah revitalized for the next decade already. Let's go I'm with zingers aspirin. Now hold on looking better fucking cops call the color weapons castle. You're my fucking neighbor. Get THE FUCK. Outta here is Randi. Don't bring in. When will your mom's House with Tom? Sikora Taw Christina. Visit Twelve to your mom's house. This looks like our place in Silverlake. Remember this. I'm going to switch kind of does it does. Yeah Shift to Dr Drew Mode. Meth makes you aggressive. But he's not skinny. He's not on that you can. You can start somewhere. Maybe it's his first day man. This is a citizens arrest. George you're not even inclined to jail in Mexico. You're not going to California. I suggest you move. That is not Lopes normal neighbor level anger. Well and I wouldn't. I wouldn't rely on that first. Iron door a line of defense against that kind of crazy. I mean I've lived in apartments with that shit you don't you don't let somebody scream at you like that. Through one of those he can reach his fucking hand in. There reminds me of another clip. We were watching. You can call US names and white poodle on our garbage cans. This is going to keep going. You're going to be getting flipped off and I'm going to say love this lane shitty neighbors flip you off book curse. Open the fucking window in my house. Burning Clean Bro. God Man I like this looking at him. You better fucking COP COPS call the country. Webby your fucking get the fuck Outta here. If you're my neighbor okay I don't have to get the fuck fuck it together. Shut the funny talk DeMarco. Shut the here motherfucker. Did you don't have to do it for you. Just you fuckers ASMI. Oh Dan see. This is what I wish. The camera would. Just keep going off on dude not Oh and then. It cuts off a video. Is that how you going to cut it off? Right there dude. I wouldn't take that guy on that guy ways twice as much. He just fucking knocked him down. He knew well. This kid's athletic new. He's he plays sports he's like. I'm a fuck this guy. He's like that old fat guy. Shit I'M GONNA fucking Nakimora is that is that right. I don't yeah definitely. Does he definitely kid could take out that guy just because he's an athlete and he's in better shape way better ways. That guy is a Slob. He's he's just a mess. That'd be a nice Series of fights remember. We used to have bumfights like a decade ago. If we can bring back lake shitting neighbor fights like the older fat guy versus like the younger angrier. Dude just see old people die. Yeah kind of cool. Yeah there is that show. Now it's called the cove in nineteen down shut. Yeah Kung Fu Kung flew a couple of weeks ago couple of weeks ago. That was Making the rounds that was so that is going down in history. That is something that was said at a presidential briefing where journalist. Who Was Asian? Was like so. They're saying Kung flew in the White House. I don't know if you're talking about okay. Is there any better time to come up with a silly name for for something? Then you know. By the way somebody was in the in the Oval Office. And they're like Sir how about Kung Fu and he's like I like it. Good thank you is like you don't have any other does a good one. I like it. Are we really going to be as? Do you think we're going to be a virus? Do you think we're going to be as PC after all this like? Don't you feel like when the shit hits the Fan Pie? Readjust things in a way that people can't quite comprehend. Yeah what are the things that's going to happen is? We're going to have a whole new generation of German jobs to a level. We've never seen especially like kids right now. Who have. Because there's there's a million kids right now whose parents are. Did you touch the counter? And so those kids that are raised like that are going to grow up and be like I saw a guy today opening a door with like six Napkins and I was like. Oh boy this is going to be well especially generation of our children the first four years of your life or is it the most important formative this is gonNa fuck up our kids and Geno. I don't think they know anything about. It is hold Ellis yesterday because I been telling them that we're leaving break. He hasn't register any of that. Oh he has it but they register when the the adults are nervous so I told him yesterday. I'm like they're just germs. People are getting all. We're trying to get him to stop fucking throwing shit at windows. I don't think he's I know. Try not to strangle the dog. Stop hurting the Dog Allen Nightmare. He's not paying attention. But I do hope that because I'll tell you as as as Dan Comedian. Most of my favorite artist favored Est. Most favored audience is the UH not triple a. The AA crowd I fucking Oh aaa rooms. Those are great. Why because those mom fuckers have seen it all and they come to your show sense of humor straight sober and they laugh the hardest. Because they've seen the darkest stuff and I feel like maybe maybe the one blessing in the skies is that this is going to hard in us all up a little and we're going to. We're going to relax about joking as long as we can. Stay AHEAD OF THE CURB. You just never know. Go to the library One of the things that we were talking about was that we both have alarm. Clocks are nightstands. Yeah and We have not changed the time since the last daylight savings which was over a month ago now and We have been doing. I've been doing the math in my head every time. I think it makes sense because you go. You said why don't you change it and I go change your back and five months and the thing is I mean what am I. I'm changing and then five months from now much change again. Why does saving saving that Trae? Welcome to wait now. I know every time I had an hour and it since it's such like an extra step to because in the middle of night I'll wake up the clock. I'm bill it's two thirty now. It's nice three extra may also have that when I wake up to pee pee comeback and. I'm like five forty five and I'm like Oh shit. Six forty five fifty time to get up so I have a. I like it because I begin the day with disappointment. Yes I know 'cause I'll be like oh I can sleep in our then I'm like. Oh no I can't. I'm the great and the best part of this. Is that our clocks. Are The you can plug your iphone iphone into all I have to do is take the case off of my iphone and put in there but I'm too lazy to sit down and because I've got the otter box you know what I don't WanNa take it off. Here's the thing. I think we can revisit this in August whether or not we paint. I think that's important. Should we see how long we can go? Do you want to actually try and go until the nobody? Alexi how long we can Josh Giggle. When's the next daylight savings? How long can we do this sometime in the fall winter right but I I do enjoy myself every time it's so upsetting to me and then I chastise myself so I I look at the clock? Do the math and then I chastise myself. It's like a three pronged thing. Yes so fucking annoying. A one of the It's called Google Dot Com. Yeah asking the blind guy to look up some. Oh no we gotta go all the way till November. Yeah Shit Perfect. I mean that is perfect. July August September October. It's eight months just a short eight months from now. We never ate mushroom now. Clocks are going to be set. Your fine it's a perfect so annoying. I hate that I wake up now and it's pitch black. It's so depressing. Thank it to the kids. The kids won't go to bed at seven anymore. Because fucking light out. Why are we doing this worse? Oh man one of the big comforts during this absolutely disruptive and insane time has been the communication with friends and I think almost everybody has at some point received a text message from somebody about the virus with a link and the link reveals a large black man with a large black Dick and it has become a game of. Can I surprise you? And there's some brilliant ones. Oh my God I mean it began with like the You know hey there's a the viruses in your neighborhood and there was a link and you click on. It went crazy but then it got it got it. Got More and more creative there. He is right there. Now there's I saw one was sent to me where this guy you know when a when the Barista when the Barista gives you like the the beautiful ave and they make a design. Yeah Yeah Lots of art where they show Barista showing that Guy In the art of the of the coffee and then I saw one where he's his images like a in the the reflection of on a Lake Lake Chinese kid drawing him on a chalkboard. I mean it's it he's every everywhere and I have to say though he has been the brightest part of this whole really has astor at this guy has got me. I laughed so hard last night when we I. I left the Chinese kid. Drying him on the chalkboard I fucking. I haven't laughed at Harvard in weeks and I'm so thankful for this man and I want to know more about him. I have to know who he is. This other Henry with the writing on it. You know down right there. You know you'll take this okay so I remind we don't need that one but his eyes are so kind and he seems like he's such a nice guy. Yeah I know what? He's he seems like you know what it looks like to me. He's his face to me. Looks like the face of someone who has seen the. Oh my God reaction so many times that he's tired you know what I mean like. He's seen somebody which we will go like. Oh my God that he's like yeah. It's like when people find out were married. Comedians you guys crack each other up all day. Yeah I know. It's almost like his face has the personality of his Dick Switches like there's a big Old Lazy Deck. I got between. Yep Big black lays can you imagine? I heard that he's dead now but he he's dead so but can you imagine horman wildest dreams. He has no idea that his image would come back and get us through the worst pandemic of our lifetime. Not only that I keep thinking I d I keep thinking about this family members of his for sure been sent texts where God damn it. Marcus fucking mark is a gun. I hate seeing this shit. My brother fucking dead guy keeps seeing my brothers Big Black Lazy Dick. Every time someone text me you know that like has texted. His sister is cousin his uncle is like God. Damn Marcus rest in peace. But his name was would that's what he went by and he died in twenty eleven so he's been gone nine years. I would bet you at this point. More people know this guy's face than what Mike Pence looks like. It's Pretty. It's pretty a interesting question to put out there. I'm serious more. People have seen this guy than the no the vice president. Here's what I would like to know. And if and if you really do know it'd be interesting. What what's the story with would We know that that's what he went by. We know that Leave his real name. That's what I'm saying. What's his real name? Did that any does anybody out there. No did they know this man. Do you know this man. Do you go. Oh this dude lived here. This is worse than it would be interesting to know the real story. Yeah it's kind of how like artists get really famous posthumously. Like I thin then go. He was just poor. You know many years later people found really took to his work. This guy is this. Generation's Van Gogh. Yeah and like his work just took off when he after he dies true. I mean this. That image has been sent so many place. Is that real in so many questions? He's the best and someone sent me. Josh Shannon Myers to me where there's like a roll of toilet paper covering his dick like this one. This one where he has the surgeons mask on the tip of has it onto. Yeah it's really amazing is the where's Waldo with him? I'm pretty amazing. It really is his would know it's GonNa take it's GonNa take real people talking about it and it's not going to be in a search. I feel confident in that. It's really going to take more so thrilled that we have this resource that we can put the call out there and somebody is GonNa know somebody. That's the magic of the two. He was. Yeah I'm dying to know. This guy is a lot of people have also I think correctly spent time talking about the fact. Are you gonNA throw up or what he doing but think about this? Who Left US RIGHT BEFORE CORONA VIRUS JOB? Fuck face fed smoker Who supposedly died. is Is Not having to deal with any of this corona virus shit. That's true you know what I mean. He's probably immune because he had a lot of madness system. I think the virus can't I think you might have something to do with this? You fucking research. You think he created it or Rhonette. From Wu Han wake up America. The Wuhan Aryan Chinese let people refused to pronounce things correctly. Just to be choctaw their return do God Here so frizzy. There's a cool guy at the post office. Oh you went to see the video. Check it out that major myself properly. I'm GonNa think he's going live. Maybe I don't have a whole lot Thomas born of having a really bad more than trying to be very specific my favorite of the comments. Where Damalf Bre oh. He left his box of Matthew's patience and Morton. I should've properly myself okay. First of all by the way when someone starts with stupid people in their videos. Love to tell you that there. I'm having a real bad day right now. My days already been done fucked up and now you made it works like he loved to tell you how no one cares bitch. Well he's prefacing Because he's like I'm about to ruin your day to. I'M GONNA take it out last week's because I got jail by some bullshit charges a Campbell. Be Honest with you. I'd say a lot from a lot of people fucking with me okay. I'll have time for patients. I don't remember the number I gave the Lady My. Id and I said. I think I know what's up between it is three weeks. Keep trying to work slot and yeah so also if somebody leads like in the first thirty seconds with I got thrown in jail and there's some bullshit charges you can bet your ass. They're going to be back in jail pretty quickly. This guy is letting you know to call the cops. Yeah it's always bullshit. Yeah I didn't do anything bullshit. Charges Charges Man. If you're the manager can't help go right down the road it's Winston. Are you owner? This and I have a key but like I said I think he's been changed in its plan. I don't care what the fuck was in there but I had this shit that's coming and if you can't help me with then. I don't want to do business here. That's coming. What wait what do you have coming? We'll be talking about got an Amazon packages trekkies. Faulkner told me that he weighed into cleaning. Manager I've been sitting here for five to ten minutes. Pistone you know wearing a cross. He's a Christian. It's the best part they're always like. I'm so Christian here. Let's see if he's a he's on right now. Oh what's handle Winston? Let's see underscore Also I'm not sure what he wants like as a worker at I'd be very confused. I'm not sure he's like someone keyed. My books have got. The key with the keen opened the bus. That means that you don't have can't get to your Po box right. You need to have the only thing you need to get to it as fricking key. He has fifty thousand followers. Get the fuck out here. What's this guy about on the ground? He's on the ground yet he posted. Look this ain't going to go away. I told you that wasn't my money. And the person money that it was protected. Take notice states government. They're gonNA take you at all. Righty we got it. I think we've found our new fed smoker type. I don't know what's going on with this guy Man Okay. I don't know man Does this keep going? Yup sure does. Russell wants to help me. Fucking play games. Don't kiss there's no kids in here but let me tell him to fuck off. You can help me please. He's so fired Look at the veins in his neck and forehead. He so fire here. You see that text message there in the middle of the second one. Look at the caption. Look this ain't going to go away. I told you that wasn't in the person money and he can read it. I'm not reading. That can read it. What's the capture say? Oh says this Nigga here smile Black Mike Smile Black Mike we going live in like ten. Hor Fitting fifteen minutes at Winston's cave for show surprise Black Mike and Introducing Winston Motherfucking Cave Aka Caveman K. Dibos Hashtag we out there as time here we go but not dead ass. That's a different Guy John's river. Tom Pretty Cool. It is pretty good as bet. Bet Data. I don't know how this what does this following from the boss. Boss fucking people thought you. The air goes off could give me one. Thought you the RAW motherfucker United States Post Office Vista. That's all I fucking Sake motherfuckers. God the cops. I'm driving. I respectfully fuck it. Boss Not GonNa fucking Shit Federal Pets interesting. Everybody wants to fucking game in. We'll just went up on is fucking fucking Fox five down there sir. Backyard check mother fucker man. Why why the fuck up that Guy? Fucking Jokin son of Bitch and not the way. I want to start my fucking morning off motherfucker man musical Ono Truck Abbott. He's got real big tires. He's definitely got the kind with the real big tires and he really went like he really went off there. I felt like they were helping them. I can make this bigger. This guy's got real fuck and problems Lago Vista. Isd Dad goes live on Youtube at school causes. Lockouts police say okay and Hit the no. Thanks there. All right can you In School were placed on lock after a visitor became unruly while on campus. Holy Shit this guy had a school. What was the date there? What's to say March Eighth Two thousand eighteen eighteen? Wow School leaders Put Lago Vista Intermediate School in Lago Vista Middle School on lockout. After a student's father became unruly while on campus. According to the arrest affidavit police arrested the man Winston Dale K. There's him right here. After he started a youtube video of himself. Police say the video shows cave school lobby ranting. About how the school would not allow him to take his children outside without signing them out. Cave actually made threatening statements about his wife and how he hadn't been able to see his kids because of her life. Yeah and that is an awesome mugshot. I don't know if you can go back up to it or not But that looked like that was a mugshot. The has a neck brace and a smart. How do you smile during your mugshot and be a real psycho soil man? This is basically just kind of pattern. Behavior no pattern the Hayes town. A bad day pattern of behavior never got frustrated at the post office and had a bad day and then had school. Shutdown be never had a bad day by the way something you know at. This guy reminds me of fifty thousand followers but this woman on before the ninety days was dating a Nigerian celebrity and he had twenty three thousand hull followers. He was. He was So we are now into before the ninety days which there's ninety fiance there's after the ninety days but now before the ninety days binge if you can it's fantastic because this is like self conscious of my physical appearance he's so sweet Russo Smith thirty one year. That's the Big Eddy. Got Bigger Guy. Mayo in the hair. This is on before ninety days as you said which really highlights. This is the sweet stuff of the show right to me. This is everything so this is the ramp up to delusion. This is where all the red flags or laid out and by the way. They're all obvious. Yeah they're not hidden red flags no for instance. This woman who's fifty three years old is dating a thirty year old Nigerian celebrity. He's got twenty three thousand followers on instagram. And little things like What was her the flags within like? There's a lot of women around ten. He's staying faithful to her. I mean the this fifty three year old woman with thirty year old Nigerian rap star. And like he's you know he's in making videos and he's at dance clubs and he's he's fucking other checks. I mean you know you can just use you. Watch HIM FOR TEN SECONDS. And you're like this. Is your boyfriend okay? Across the world. And she goes she goes well. I've got a surprise for him when I visit him in Nigeria. I'm GonNa let him raw dog it. Yeah because he's only ever used condoms never had No no protection. Sure I'M GONNA blow his mind. Yeah sure yeah and with Ed here by the way I love Ed. He's so sweet. He lives in San Diego and he's got one he's one of those people who's obsessed with his dog which I totally relate to as am I and he carries dog in that one of those backpacks with the circle window and he rides a little scooter. Like he's just the sweetest man and he's in love with a girl who is younger than his own daughter so his daughters pissed at him. So the re the red flags there are that she lives in the Philippines Philippines. Yeah and he sending her packages every day every day. Ups and he's like. Can you ship this to the Philippines? How much have you spent? He's like I've spent about five thousand on gifts ships and never ever. Susan occur to you that something's going on. Yeah such a huge red flag. Then there's the Then there's The lady who's in her late fifty s and she's dating a bodybuilder trainer type but he's never. He's never appeared on the face time because his camera. He doesn't have a camera that works. And how long have they been communicated a while two years and he can't seem to and he's never sent a video either. He's never sent video. He's never facetime. La La la La la La la just completely delusional and then when asked about it she's like yeah but every morning he sends me these nice texts with these flour and heart emojis. Wouldn't love that All right then. There's the girl who is dating a guy who she's like he's a she's dating a guy who's a coach. A relationship coach around eight angle. Women Only coaches only coaches single one. Which was something. I could fucking picture any doing you know I just worked with a single women. Only okay You want some coaching. You Know Much how quick so coaching coaching. Could you give she fucking bullshit? She's like I feel like he always says the right thing and they're like her friends. She was broken up with him three times in the nine month period that we've been dating and this was the best one she reveals on this first episode. She's like we were We on his facebook. He doesn't show himself to be in a relationship status and on instagram. He had photos of me and he took them all down on his on his feet. Red when she called him out he was like I was hacked. I was I was hacked and then sent her an email. A screen grab screen-grabbed. That was like you were hacked. He's like seat and she's like she tells her friend. She's like I mean. Do you think something's wrong with that. And they're like yeah no it's the best he's lying to. You. It's the BASCH is like I don't know I'm GonNa get on a plane and fly fucking sixteen hours find out well and don't forget so. That girl has two children one. That is what fifteen months old. And then that's from one guy and then another child who is like four or five years old from another guy and she's like I'm GonNa Goalie my babies for two and a half weeks to two and a half weeks to go meet a guy like dude. What what what are you talking about? It's a thing the show should just be called. Here are some red flags but you see these it actually just reinforces to me. When I watched that show I ended up actually filled with empathy human beings because you realize everybody just wants companionship and everybody just wants to be with and all these people are like I'm willing. They're all hurt. You can tell they're all hurt. The offs like really bad stories. Yeah Yeah they're all hurt and they all are like they know that they see the red flags to but your mind just goes no. I just need this to work but you have never you never been through that like Everybody has yeah like you know when you're younger you when I was younger. You know you date somebody and you know some a right but you just want it to work so bad it's like when you're dissolving relationship and you're just trying you can't decide whether or not to go or to stay near like yeah but maybe it's just you can't see fact. He's you can't see reality when you want something. So do you think that it's like you're like this is this is what is meant like it's meant to be it's supposed to be light supposed to be like and you're you have the rush of the of that. Nra really feel that Ari in full effect in your strike and give it to me man. Yeah let this be right. Let this be real so horrible. I was dating a guy in college. Who was such a Schmuck to me? He lived across the street from my dorm and he wouldn't call me for like four or five days and I'm like well I mean I'm sure busy he's just gotTa be real busy right And then like he pop up out of. I go to his house. And he rearranged all his furniture well turns out he was doing math and making collages and stuff so he was doing something else. He was real busy making math collages. But you know I didn't you know you try to make it work you'll either. You ignore it. We all have. I've done I've ignored it. You know got so into this girl and then she would just We would talk all the time and then all of a sudden you know she would just drop off and then eventually I'm like well I just can't get a response from her and then she would come back into my life after a few months and be like. Oh Yeah I just got so distracted with things like guys Dick but I would just be like. Oh yeah and then finally like after a few times of that when I was like no actually I'm not interested anymore because I genuinely became interested. Yeah she was like what the fuck. Yeah now I WANNA do. This and I was not interested anymore. And that's the secret of all courtship. Is the minute that you were like. Nah I'M GONNA I don't need you bitch no. She wrote me letters they come. And that's what happened with the Meth guy is i. I went away to England for a year and I was like all right. I'm done I'm done with you. Whatever and that's when the letters came and I love you. I think we're meant to be DA. Da Da DA DA. Now what now? What now where we hook up on the right now? I don't know I don't know I'm sure he's fine. He's alive somewhere now. I have actually footage of him now. I'm with him or your fucking neighbor. Area is but I I just ignoring the person it's like an APHRODISIAC. It's so well. Here's the thing ignoring someone you once gave attention to is actually the key the move they go make it obvious that you're into someone like were there like. Oh my God this person like and then you retract. They go like what happened. What happened attention that N. R. E. R? He's gone? Yeah but that's because also a big part of before the ninety days is the desperation and when you're desperate and a lot of these people have had horrible stories like one man lost a baby one woman. The older black lady lost her husband of thirty years and they had six children together. So these people are so they're so mad and broken and then when you're in that place and you're just online and someone fucking bates you like that. It's just disastrous for them. You know how did not hold on. Allie long is responding to my latest of The Black Guy sent out what we're recording the show right now. But it's apropos. Our discussion. No because nobody will. She's asking. Did you ever figure out who that man was brought so much joy? So that's what we're on right now. We're trying to figure that out. They know but what also gives me joy about him is sending his means to other people and then getting their reactions right like are they. Did WE UPSET SOMEBODY. You makes me really. Happy is the best You know how Josh Potter. Where's this right here? Josh is the the R Word Josh. Because other people are too much to be honest with you. I always thought I was going to be in the even at a young age when I knew that I wanted to play basketball like when I was in elementary and Middle School. I knew that was going to be in the NBA just like elementary school. Some other maniac on the planet says it the same way elementary. Yeah I know I keep thinking about it every school it's pretty crazy right elementary retarded retarded elementary elementary consensus in the box elementary elementary. I quite obviously disagree I believe it's elementary think. Where's this guy? From by the way do we know He's from the owed says. Stupid Stupid Seville How do you say at any? Everyone's got their own thing but elementary elementary. It's not elementary. This guy's not a reader athlete. Right Yeah Josh is a reader because you know Josh actually is very well read really. Yeah yeah he actually read a lot really strange. You look at them. And you're like there's no way this guy knows how to read. You talked to Him. And he's he's actually very well read. Yeah it's impressive yes. Maybe I'm right. Maybe you are. Maybe you are wait. We can find out if you go put in the word and it has a phonetic. He know when the dictionary online are you ready to lose and then it says it for you we can. We can do that. You can look my name up in the dictionary. Faulk faith long names are in the dictionary. Stor oh yeah. He's like it's the fifteenth called back from the from the front thank Salman old about like Alan quotes in the dictionary. Callum TERRY PRONUNCIATION THERE. You go okay. Let's say let's hear elementary all walk. We might come on both of us both the same weight again. Elementary no entry what. He meant not elementary. That's elementary but elementary. And if you see the phonetic spelling it says et la men tree. What's she saying? Elementary putting an era and she would try another one the key though the key though is that it's showing. There's there's an extra syllable that's the thing that I love right in the middle of Elementary Elementary Right. There's a dot between the TR. And oh I see elementary. That's that's good job. Any good So what I don't understand what you're saying. I think what he's saying is I'm half right. You're right I'm saying both because it sounds like there's not a the the the sound a in it but there is another syllable. It's not elementary element to re because there's a dot in between the her and the e should we listen to it's slow yeah. Elementary all all elementary. It's early but it's not hairy. No you're Josh is wrong or your ears dumb to it's it's saying very clearly not what's your it's not elementary. Nobody no one's saying that now. That's the verdict is in Josh Tardy. God How many words Am I saying wrong? Oh you see you say so many things because my parents are foreigners they talked incorrectly rummy. Do you know what Dr Drew said the other day he said respiratory respiratory instead of respiratory I says that right he goes. It's just how I see the word I see it respiratory. Oh no that can't be right. I look respiratory. Let's see respiratory resign. Tori. No one says respirable Dr Drew. Does he said it on doctor after dark? Okay it's just upsetting to be around all the students to get your Dick Melt. You're very agitated. I can see. Yeah see you're smiling because you know it's true. The kids go to bed. Get Your Dick. We're GONNA do it tonight. Okay we've all been stressed out but you need to get your Dick mill get angry. Yeah Yeah there needs to get melt. Cheese respirable Tory rebels respiratory RAH SPUR TA Re Respiratory. There's no confusion here is respiratory elementary. Come on all right God retarded retards look up retarded. Let's see if she can say retarded Josh do it. I want to hear the computer say retarded. It's too much fun retarded that yeah I wanNA see your say retarded retarded slow. Do it slow retarded. I don't think I need to point out that I need those drops. Pretty quickly both. Please them slow speed. I prefer slow speed on this word again again retarded and I'd appreciate that quickly. Okay retarded did you see that there is a UH Mommy Reference News? What yeah and it's not because there's more than one. Oh No easy. Check it out. What does that translate to investigating it agency need milkjam? Yes we sell this. All of us stores over the what and the tele- and tellers Messina. Tel know that is a legit mommy reference Australia. Obviously keep them high in tight and you folks yeah. I don't know who it was doesn't doesn't actually say but obviously somebody Australian Thank you so much. Pride you mazing. That just made my whole day. No that was great. I love when we infiltrate mainstream media. This job you're fuck face now we just have to get like Larry King Nisei something. No I really appreciate that. And of course everybody out there should keep it high and tight and follow pro. That's that's actually a notice. We don't have a blue band in today because he had a scratchy throat and he said Keep Your fucking Jew asks home jeeze Tom. He'd have to throw the Jew stuff in there. Sorry Yeah your need to get your dick mill gear. Angriest fuck today when he starts talking about murdering blondes. And can't you opened with murder people and Dob is a Jew. And why are you looking at your texts from Ali? Your Very pent-up I hold on. I got a text because it was apropos. Our decision of who is he. You know why because I sent her a new one. I want to hear her reaction. I thought it'd be funny to read a very funny comedians. React to my video. That's why yeah you're GONNA get your ball. How heavy are they right now? How long has it been not the now on? Yeah there's gluing them balls by now. We got I come in those bulls coming those balls. We got our. Oh no no. But this one's good. This is good It's it's our PC They got him while. Just play it for you. One seven three five three two nine went three him. Info who's randy? I don't know who I don't know who he is. I don't take Randy is okay. I would say there. He's definitely unaffected by these quarantine. Check it up. Yep Two mile to while to kink a lot and still shirtless even innate cold New York winter now according to Josh. Who's been there? I'm guessing. Would you say he probably hasn't left the house? I do have a bit of an update. I I spoke to well on Saint Patrick's Day. He wished me a Saint Patrick's Day happy St Patrick's Day Nice. And I said how are you holding up with the quarantine and he said what and I said the quarantine with everything going on and he just said I'm good so I don't know that he knows that's happening out there. Folks think he's blissfully unaware. Do you think he's not a news junkie. I don't believe so. He is more aware of some things I think he finds the news articles that would help him create his content because I remember one about the president when he was talking about black lives matter and all that kind of stuff how he's like if you're a black lives matter and you WanNa come over you come over and can beat up a white man stuff like that so I think he is. He knows that kind of news. Maybe he'll do some virus content soon. I haven't seen any doctor come dump. You know that that's right. Because he is captain. Come down officer. Down past has promoted yet reporting stripes yet to be a captive on his chest so damaged. A lot of you also pointed out that in these times. There's no there's no telling whether or not Captain Marcel will retrieve sister from down by the Mount. God just kept in Moss L. I'm going down to the mountain. I'm I WANNA know was there saying like if there's a quarantine her sisters just going to be there just at the at the bottom of the mountain and Yeah okay well Thank you very much to everybody. That has been what. I'm just laughing. I just enjoying my. I actually just had a thought how much fun I had today with you. It was great. It's hurting It was fun to kind of come in here and just get away from stuff and talk about all the stuff that really matters to US anyways. I need to be fought a lot. Then this just does. It's very important to me. All of his great. I wanted to thank everybody for watching the news. Special Ball Hog which net flicks Obviously the the special is you know. The name is a tip of the cap to what we do here. Oh yes also remind you make sure you remember that and yeah trying to think if there's anything else before we go gene if you're going to cool off please stay safe. Everybody follow Proto keeper jeans up. Stay healthy keep them tired. I M Pei Lafferty and here. It is really hoping my press gets put back together after all this so that I can do some national television and have them say your new special ball. Where'd you come up with that title number? It's funny that you ask. That's GonNa be the best part of that you you don't pay lafferty. That's what I'll say you guys know painting Lafferty when they're like no she's my favorite actors and he know what? I'm looking forward to is like the Times Square billboard with Ball Hog. Yeah so everyone on our mommy's can take a pilgrimage and I hope so if you if you see the billboard anymore please take photos. Send them in. Yeah appreciate everybody during this time. Appreciate you and Yeah we'll we'll try to keep pumping out podcasts. Keep you company and I think that's it gene all right all right high in tape for the rest of this episode. Don't you wish you were at the post office right now? Of course. Not? What a hassle running a business or keeping up with your schedule takes a lot and sometimes just aren't enough hours in the day. Which is why we USED STAMPS DOT com. We have four years because stamps dot com brings all the services of the US Postal Service. Right here computer whether you're a small office setting invoices and online seller shipping out products or even a warehouse sending thousands of packages a day. Stamps DOT COM can handle it all with ease. You use your own computer to print official. Us postage twenty four seven for any letter any package any class of male anywhere. You want to send an wants. The male is ready. Your Mail carrier comes and just pick it up. It's so easy. Why why? Why even go to the post office again. You also get forty percent off of shipping rates. It's a no brainer. 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I'm telling you you have options door delivery in all fifty states Puerto Rico candid on Australia. You can order. From your logo twos or choose from your favorite national chains like Chipotle Wendy's chick fillet et. Cetera With Door Daschle. Never have to worry about your next meal right now. Our listeners can get five dollars off their first order of fifteen dollars or more when you download the door dash APP and enter the code mom. That's five dollars off your first order when you download the door DASH APP in the store in the APP store and enter the code. Mom Don't forget. The code is mom for five dollars off your first order with door dash. Hey guys just wanted to give you a quick word here that this episode would record with. Tommy. Lee was recorded just as the corona virus outbreak was getting started so some of the Info about his shows other details about you know. The specifics of this are going to be outdated and wrong Follow Tommy Leon. Social media to be updated on the future shows or just go to Tommy Lee Dot Com. Thanks I hope you enjoyed the episode just to get it going The Motley crue stadium tour starts June eighteenth at ti Ti. A bank field in Jacksonville Florida. It's a stadium tour. And there's there's already very few tickets left so you good luck go. Tommy Lee Britney for land. Thank you very much for coming today. Yeah this is. This is a real treat. I wish there was a third. Mike pointed right your crotch. I WANNA talk to hope. I have so many questions we when we heard. I mean we're excited Brittany. I Love You I. I've been a fan of you. Since Vine and and I also saw the documentary on Net flicks. Oh fucking but In all sincerity Europeans was the hottest topic of conversation. Everybody everybody has a love affair. Going with your. Yeah it's crazy donkey. Let's talk you know it was special. What what special. Yeah I'm fashionable. I always wondered with Guys Dixon. There's got to be an age where you don't know it's big you just think that's a normal peanuts. I guess when you don't see other Dick's and then all of a sudden you see other Dixie. Like Oh oh what's that? Tell me are you sick or something? So when did you know that yours was bigger than most people? Do you have to stick your on your ass such as your Dick out. Is it cold in here? What's up with that one in my heart. No no no no. So was it high school. Is that when you know that it's like our people you know saying like Jesus man junior high school. Is there such a thing anymore? Seventh and eighth grade they just got rid of. I never hear anybody say junior right. No-one no-one really says junior high. Okay I don't feel like that's common. I feel the people say yeah. You hear Middle School now. Yeah they don't. They don't have gym class any more to so. Can you see other Jim? I think they did on some places. Yes beverly all it Jim Things. They don't call it so when you were in changing p. e. in in junior high like sons kind of. When you do got Tommy's Dawn. Is that what happened because I remember? I remember seventh-grade looking at Benny Cleveland's nick and I was like Jesus Christ man now he he was black. Yeah Wow Shadow. Benny Cleveland is come up to you and go like why is your Dick so big. Did they say anything? Would they say straight talk now when you first started changing in front of guys? Would they'd be like whoa man with ever comment on it. No not really they just were like give you a quick look like really said anything like we won't do but you could just tell from looking at other. Dick's that your Dick was superior you just. You could just tell and you do the things that people should do where they have big which is very upsetting when people don't which is you fucking pull it out and you show it to people and people have seen your Dick and I always said like if I had a huge Zik it'd be at parties at dinners. You Know Putting in chocolate fountains do all that just hanging towels from why not I mean. It's it's super lame to not do that and to have it. You should be seen any pierced. Wait a minute. When did this happen years? Where an Albert? It's it's go ahead and Shell it. Also that's why the Internet knows going to regulate. It's it's called a firm. It's like if this is your Dick. Okay it right underneath Right underneath the head barbell. Can You please? But is that it's called me. It is is that right. Are you afraid of it ripping your vast? The I remember. I asked you when we first started having said take it out of my fucking vaginas looking up. Lasagna I mean our Eddie. But now it's you walk around with that in all the time if you take it out to a close up. That's why I was like it enhances everything for you. It's actually a very unselfish piercing. It's four the woman so if you're if you're fucking doggy style the the barbell in the two little bar balls on the end they hit the clitoris perfectly. Oh well Oh yeah yeah yeah right right right. I'm like trying to draw a diagram here. Guys get I picture it rats. Wait a minute so this is kind of alarming if it's four and she's like hey what's up this her. I mean I don't you haven't had this conversation cab on your podcast. You're like. Hey what the fuck only one complaining I am because I just think maybe 'cause I have such a giant vagina authors. No Way Yours is giant. You haven't gone out of it but you think it's big it's beautiful per. She's tiny tiny. No it's why do you say that have been dosing? This I mean this is fucking meaty. Beautiful are poorly missing horseradish sauce. There's there's the cross out there that are how do I explain this? It's just like it's looks like an uptight smart. Yeah I know you're talking to one of these like it's just basically slid there's no right. Let me play with while you're right put went to be like a wet bag dangling things you know you feel like if you hit hard. Michael Pick like meaty Vaj. I think since I've had two children minds gotten meteor and beef and I kind of find it a symbol of woman. He loves some time perfect. Perfect yeah exactly yeah. You're all beefy down there. Go kill myself all right. Actually before we got together I had scheduled a consultation to get the lips taking off because I watched a lot of porn and I was like look clearly. China really did. I made an appointment and I had met with a lady and she was ready to do it. I was right before I started dating him. And then he was like don't fuck and they will shave cellphone. They cut the lips off and they sell them so that your vagina is the half smile. What are you guys doing the yourselves? Don Why would you want to be pretty good at getting a penis reduction? Just take off. He Friday of meat in the meeting room. Meet meet more yes. He loves it now. Here's what's facet okay. Because you look back I think like as we all get older you look back you appreciate the fact that your life for so many people is just a dream. You're mean like that you that you were in your band exploded your fucking teenager. It's the craziest Ryan is fucking crazy. Right I do pinch myself a lot and go like dude. What happened like how do you? It's hard about and we're all these years later now and you're about to go on a stadium like they're going to fill stadiums the people play great like you've looked. I mean you know what I mean like life is good. You have a beautiful wife geysers life. Yeah like you're working way. Let's go back to your Dick so so so much so you get you get. I'm saying you get stardom at such a young age. And you got your your your torturing the world. You're you're playing music obviously. You're making a ton of money you're hooking up. So funny is that she bust Paul sometimes for being when she goes. You can't name every sexual partner that you've been with them like no. I know but I think about. I like yeah. I asked him the other day. I was remember any of these new name. Everyone in Utah like so. Many Stallini added pressure added pressure. But I've seen you on your social media very good attitude about it like I'm kind of honored to be in this Holy Oriental. He's been with gorgeous. You know. Heather locklear Pamela Anderson. Can Blake. Who else have you slept with the team to? Yeah he's slept with. Who else who else. Let's go down this liberal beans famous porn star Real Jameson stuck in what's her name. More Brain Bella Donna. Do you ever hear these. Oh that's he does forget. Sometimes it says you fucked this person on the Internet. And then he won't remember Larry. Wait so who wanted to. So you know how for a normal person. And their and their their regular like sexual development you know in middle school or something you might see a playboy see breasts and you. That's right when you're when you're young and then as you get older you go. Oh you know I can't just see a parrot tits and be has to drive it up a little more. If you're Tommy Lee and you have lived your hall of Fame Cox swordsman and you are. You know you've had all these mounds on every orifice and it's like how does he get to a point where you're like? That's that's just I mean you know it's like is it like boring. Yeah like where you go. I need to drive up stimulus We talked about that midget right exactly exactly exactly or chick with Dick or she ever go. Like how about a blowjob? Would you like do you? Have six other mouths Boeing has. He said that look like he's kind of been there done. That added. Yeah he is. He's definitely we obviously have sacked. Worst Kinda done everything. Do you get to that point of like you're like it's all you got. A lot of that stuff's entered my mind. I have focused around a little bit here and there. But there's a lot of stuff I haven't done either. So that's what like what let's well I haven't fought a you know a chick with a Dick I haven't talked to Majett. You haven't is that the proper turn. Sorry Yeah People Ok okay. You haven't you haven't Have you? I'm just trying to think. Actually you've fucked every race. So there's pretty much nothing left there. So yeah pretty much things left or tranny. Transsexual and a midget just a straight up. But for or did I do anything. Not fucking blowjobs. It'd be given or received. She goes genuine curious at the. Yes obviously so. What's the story? There was no story. Let's just call filed out under experimentation. Sure sure everyone like I hooked up with out of curiosity rocks rock stop. Your life is above. Everyone like you can do whatever you want your exam. That's the great thing is a great explanation for anything you could be like. Here's what I fucked. Exhaust pipe is. Because I'm a fucking good excuse. It is get away with murder. Kill anybody I bet. That's a thrill. I bet it's a thrill to kidnap somebody and keep them for late. That's next on Yana. I've some more questions for the witness. The pants here. She's like shut up. I have I'm so curious I orgy. Yes or no tell you that was like Tuesday. He's had how many women how many people at once at an orgy. We have an over under guests on. How many mouths have been on your genitals at once? Whoa we do you remember. We will yes yes orgy. How many people at once say wow man look at him? Going SOUTH FOUR ONCE NO SOUNDS. Kinda low four quality. Actually maybe nine but like all girls fours guys guys and girls mixed Sir all girls. All you have done like didn't remember in your book with you guys re- Tommy Land His book. His book is narrated by his Dick by the way. So for the loving the deck talking. If anyone hasn't read it was a New York Times bestseller written by a deck deep bass voice. Oh yeah remember when you said. You wanted your dictum young I was GonNa do an audio book version. Yeah and so. Obviously I would do me. Mike couldn't co-writer Anthony. Bose would be him. We were going to get like a black guy with kind of a Husky. Go cool voice to be the Dick sure and then also the English editor from the Book Company who would constantly like red line. The book going like this might. This is a crime. Ask THIS IN HERE. Absolutely this has to go like what just several felonies. In this era we in the book you see my notes back to the editor saying fuck you. This absolutely stays in that Guy Eventually. Got fired real. Yeah which is cool because he was a pain in the ASS. He was just like pc in the fuck out of the book. We're not doing that and also like if you're buying Tommy. Lee is book. You're not like hope he keeps it really. Ps James There's no cursing and this is why I bought his book. Yeah Yeah so there's a lot of GNARLY gnarly stuff okay. I mean I'm not a sex swing and his house that's right see. I think all of that is part of like driving it up. Yes I mean. You're you're seventeen world tour rocks again. You'RE GONNA get sex wings in your house. Yes yeah eventually. Imagine me trying to explain the sex swing to my children. Yeah or little and then I would put like a like a plant in hangar. They're like Oh cool. How old are your kids now? And now they're twenty four and twenty three do they. I mean that now of course they understand the magnitude of like who their dad is. But I didn't hear that. Was there a time when you look back? Do you look back and go. That's when I understood that I wasn't just like a salesman. You know what I mean like. They started I started bringing them out onto war. Oh you know they were younger but then I started then. They started coming out as they got older. And then now you know give them like. Give them jobs on tour. You guys were with electricians today with the sound company what's called and eventually you know just the older they got then they graduated up to like having their own walkie-talkies and then all the sudden the did kind of see and what's going on and they're like. Hey Dad. Can we get a stack of party passes? Backstage passes and the both of them would go out there while we're playing and just scope out hot chicks in the backstage pass combat. Wow from a sixteen year. Old Girls were so desperate. They were like yeah. They're out there with the pocket stuff so it's genetic you run till and they're both so handsome like they're both models who so it's like you know. Tough Life Yeah Tell. Tell him the private jet story with brand. This is hilarious. Okay this is where this is where everything started changing from like little kid to like we get like ask your kids get what you do. Yeah right you'd on a on a commercial flight and sitting up in First Class sitting there my one son my other son and their mom and everybody's boarding the plane in my my oldest boy like super loud he can never just tell you a secret dad. It's like he goes dad. I go I go. What he goes. Who are all these people on our planet they flow privatised? Fuck in life and there's other people in God who thinks he thinks there's this private flight. This is a privately mad. Yeah he was seriously who are all? These people are fucking love. This isn't our plan just like this is like a bus and this little happen if you don't get your shit together. Yeah you have to do this all the time with all these fucking Lewis. I'm in the back to back real stinky at that. At that moment I was like okay. Now that is Larry who are all these fucking so mad so mad ready to get off the plane flipflops. Jesus Shit that is hilarious. That is amazing because we worry. We have two small boys and we're both COMEDIANS. I'm like what kind of reality. What are they gonNA grow up and I know you fly private a lot? I see I see on the ground. Lexin Selena I'd never posted. Okay other people do and they tag. You Y- Tom's our boys are four and basically a year and a half. So they're little little kids my four year old hasn't experienced like I mean he's already such a fucking shit head like crazy shit all the time to us from like what like he's got such an attitude but we. I know that's odd because I also encourage Sir. I teach them what Weirdos are. I'm like there is a dumb dumb dumb guy. Turns around you know. We're we're an appropriate but anyway it's it's a lot of fun dull moment. Awesome good on kids. No you're you're out you're out yeah to crazy. I couldn't handle tomorrow. You also now like if if you feel that way then you just get to do what you want forever now. I love that like sleeping in. I could always do that. I can't I can't wake up before noon to use a used to fucking sleep. I used to go to bed. All the time met like two three. That was a standard thing and then I would get up between eleven thirty. She'd been up since like nine Elliott early bird. That was early bird now. We get up between six and seven every day. It's still worse. He just lives that life naturally fucking his wakes up at like seven or six is just like good morning missing something like a whole lot of something going on. What do you have to do like just go back to sleep? This one holds the record. Are you ready for this? And this is not like fucked up all been up all night dry. This is a normal sleep through the night I go go. I'm looking at the clock on my wall. It's four thirty the next the you know the next day four thirty PM and she's still asleep in bed at twelve drugs. Nothing just hardcore depression. Oh depressed Sahim yourself asleep that way. You don't have to face reality. I mean but it's just crazy because you have a I have a great life like a great partner with so much fun. He's my best friend. My life is perfect. Like I couldn't complain about a thing but then when your brain is not right you'll just like try to deal with it yourself right you take medicine. I'm on you know the effects are like I told you on it since I was sixteen and I've tried other stuff. We I've had my brain zapped. I did that were they. Put a thing on your head and they stimulate your brain with magnets in like. That didn't work. I mean did for like six months and then it went away but yeah no I just have a weird fucking brain well. I watched that documentary about you on net flicks and you know we know I know you from Vine and such I just. I think I think you're lovely and I I love it. Showed you as a child and I didn't realize that you were this acting kid l. Yeah I was a theater nerd yen you wanted to characters and saw vine this outlet doing characters and I was like. Oh that's so cool. It was like anything but being me. This have to be myself right now. Yeah sure that's like my escape. Was Your childhood traumatic horrible. Absolutely horrible. So yeah that's what it is. You know I feel like when you're developing but I can't like blame that for our you know what I mean. It's like you know you meet people like get over it you know. So it's like yeah right My therapist over it But you know like yeah it. Does I think permanent damage while your brain is developing too through serious trauma and Just spend my whole life trying to get over that you know and I spend my whole you know but you know like you said like you and I have yet horrible panic disorder so like something. I'll be just sitting there with addition to those meds though. Do you talk you talk. I have I do meditation. I've just started out. You said you feel these pedic. Just come out of nowhere like we'll just be somewhere. I'll be like the most beautiful place in the world will be in like Mexico. Having a great time nothing will be wrong. And I'll just out of nowhere all of a sudden not. Just go into a panic and then he will go to the hospital in Mexico and the need. To just chill the fuck this trigger it like something unconsciously. I JUST HAVE ICE. Maybe I see things or like something just reminds me of something subconsciously. And then he literally is the most chill person in the world doesn't take any antidepressant doesn't have any fucking whatever. Done a thousand drugs doesn't freak out and I'm having a fucking panic attack. And he's just like Bruce like what's wrong just Fox. Yeah get it. Just like fucking calm down. It's not hard because I love your price. That's what he does because he's so mellow like a ton of drugs and just be like this is red meal. I'd be like free. I took an overdose of CBD oil. Oh yeah and it gets to do that. A full blown panic rolling panics with with high I basically eight a pot cooking edible. I just don't even look but see. That's just that's your temperament. Were you just talking chill? Yeah and I'm so I see there's a lack of drug experimentation my life and I wanNA try some looking back on all the fun drugs. You did all the good times you had on them. Which one could you rank this drug best? Yes we come back. Tom's addicted to heroin. I know I know any. Heroin is the best really by far the best and I mean I hate even saying accident. Want somebody going. Oh Fuck I know you. Don't want them but it is. It's awesome it is fucking incredibly amazing. What's IT feels? Fuck get? That's why it's amazing. Because as soon as you pull the need allow or smoke it or snort it whatever yeah as soon as within a couple of seconds you just you just go to this. Place of like the fucking. This room could be on fire and I'd be like you just float but that's pretty much all the time anyway. So you just man. How hard was it to kick? That's that's the problem and luckily I fucked for probably just like a little under a year and the whole time. I did it. I just kept telling myself man. This is way too good. I could fuck with this a lot and I just WanNa talk myself out of it because I know myself and I know how good that is. This could go really horribly wrong and you were able to just failed on A good part built to be able to do that for some reason. I guess I don't know. Where are you scared of shooting yourself with drugs? Like I always picture the needle stuff to be hard. The fun part. That's kind of the romantic love. Then bloom was the whole band on it to get you guys all do in. Just two of us. Yeah yeah he gives me my B twelve shots. Now he's like. Oh Yeah I got this. He's all flicking Neil so she would so weird sometimes. Where my partner in my band? We were getting super super high in a hotel room. Like a four seasons in Dall- HOUSTON. We ran out of FUCKING WE RAN. Outta dope blow and heroin. We ran out adult and we were like fuck and it's like three in the morning where we going to get anything so I don't know my fucking stupid ass goes dude here. Unscrewed the the cap on a bottle of Jack and then fill up the cap and then draw the needle in the CAP and we were shooting. Fucking Jack. Daniels I go okay. We've reached an all time low. Yes like we can just drink this. But but no but we all time low but you also reached an all time high of each annuity. True super fucking awesome. Never of anybody doing that can kill you. Yeah did you get super fucked up from it? No just Kinda like you can taste it in the back of your throat. And you're like Oh cool I feel like I just did a shot or a couple of shots that didn't burn to put that in your veins. No WOW WEIRD RESILIENT. Now what about cocaine? You did a lot of cocaine right I did. I mean it really. Was it a fun ride fun for a while you at some point it just would be from what? I understand after a long period of us. There's this sort of buffer in the back of your brain becomes Fuck it basically reduces the ability to get that dopamine kick right yes and it's just like buffer that doesn't let it. Yes because you overdid it or used it for so long and then all of a sudden it just doesn't it's not working feeling the same effects if anything. I'd you know. Do A fucking bump and be like missiles that's not. That's just that's not with that drug. Deng now time for nap safe system so fucked he can drink like fourteen cop cappuccinos and go to bed like he has no effect on him like he will drink it all day. I drink coffee that night sometimes. Oh yes he's a psychopath thing. I'd be like tweaking. I take one CAPPUCCINO. I look at a Cappuccino start working out so then have you done math No I thought you said you did do math. You told me you did. Maybe I do not a lot like it wasn't your jam or was that Crack Crack House that what's that like and I'm super poor. Man's version of Yes. Smoking Coke like basically. Yeah but it's the Shitty shitty version so it's not that it doesn't feel the same as snorting coke with all these all the drugs and the were you the type of person where you can play your show. No matter fact some people. Can you know what I mean like or were you like? I'll do that as soon as the show is over. I would wait till I mean we. Would you know drink a lot before the show enduring but I've never really do drugs because as as a drummer the guy holding down the Fort Right. If you're doing blow. Everybody speeding right. And if you're doing heroin site you had to actually be like I'll manage. This was just booze. Show gotTA HOLD DOWN THE FORT. And then maybe the last two or three songs start going you start start to ramp it up like I'll be playing in my drum tech would feel like a corona bottle cap just filled with blow while. I'm while I'm playing I just go like this and the audience can't see so you just kind of turn your head home. Smashed the CAP and my brasserie songs are going to be fun. And you're still drumming. Untuckit amazed flying upside when you hit. I'll into your face. That's the key you know as as a drummer I mean. I've always heard the lore that drummers are just crazy people. Were you like a hyperactive kid? How did you know that that was what you wanted to do? Yeah pretty much from what my parents told me. As soon as I was telling you know to get up and like open the you know the kitchen cabinets and pull out you know pots and pans and all that shit I would just set everything up. Just fucking my poor parents. I really feel now. I feel bad for them. Yeah at the time you don't know about I literally crazy. How did you know that was your parents musical people like did they have drums around? You literally just invented like I'm GonNa Bang on this shit. Must've been bland to do this. I guess you know my parents. My Mom definitely wasn't my dad. Played a little bit of A little bit of drums in in school but not like nothing like you know. It's amazing me because I don't I'm not musically inclined to for an like music but like I don't know I can't play anything but I'll I'll hear a song and if somebody then will remove instruments from it and then just leave the trump. I'm like Oh shit. I didn't realize I was hearing that the whole time. Only things removed to be like. Oh and then the drummer's keeping that going the whole time. I have no earful. Wow yeah no ear for it. I hear music like I don't even hear. I told somebody that like when I hear a Song Sung. I hear the singer's voice as an instrument Lotta Times. The words don't register to me. I hear it like it's a sound. That's interesting because I listen to this. I do the same thing. I listen to the sound and the Melody Melody and the lyrics are way secondary. Yeah I don't care what they're singing. The melody catches me. I'm like Oh man. That's that's evacuate because I've told people I've talked super fucked up. I'm like you have never listened to the words nuts on the opposite if the words are stupid amount. I can't handle. Don't even listen to it unless the melody is like gets me. Then I'll then I'll be like. Oh what are these the I I usually registers? That song is like insane if other people are around because they'll be at the time that I'll pay attention to words other people in the car or something and they're like listen to this. I've never listened to the mall home. The Fuck Oh yeah exactly. I'm like it puts me. It's like a groove to me like a vibe right like so that's how it will hear music. I don't know who did you emulate growing up as a drummer. Like when you're little you love John Bonham from led Zeppelin was my fucking hero right. God liked hero. Hero Guy. His sound his feel here. This really really beautiful like a super heavy foot which means drum lingo. That's just like big. Based on my. Yeah everything's real solid in the bass drum. So he had a heavy foot and he always played like if we call late or laid back the snapped. 'em always comes like a little late like a mobile always like on the backside of the beat and that's true you either have that or you. Don't you can teach somebody learn and that's in that's that just. He tried the hell out of you. Wanted to emulate that dude. Yes and he's he's about us but even watching you. Didn't you feel it when he was going boom boom? You're doing that now. I was like in it. I can't even do that. Yeah Good Yeah I just saw you play. Yeah like this. Does he practice a lot and call now? Like I never hear or see him play. But then like somebody'll come in you like working on a record and they'll be like oh we want you to play on this record. You know like smashing pumpkins or somebody who come over the house and like him to play all of a sudden he'll go down there and just it's like it's like for him. It's like riding a bike. He just goes right back into it and and everyone's like Oh my God. He's the best like crazy you know. They still have him play on like so many records people. Just come over and it's so in you that you can do it like in. His sleep reminded me when we watch a while ago. The pixies documentary about drugs came him in that documentary as they had already been broken up for a while and they get back together right they get back together and do this tour and one of the first shows you're watching it and frankly stop singing and everyone stops playing and the drummer's like he's all fucked up you got to talk and then then it's like you're doing a soul. He's doing it and then he like he keeps going like ten seconds twenty seconds and they're like they just like you're on heroin again. Things going keeps going. He's like I can't stop won't be in good physical shape to play the drums. I am Magin. Yes and you know this. Is this'll trip you out. I was curious because I mean I've always been kinda skinny and I eat whatever the fuck I want. And Alaska sweat like crazy after two hours of like pool of shit out and so therefore. I don't wear very many close uncomfortable but I was curious and I got one of those pedometers. This was years ago because I was just curious. I'm like I wonder like how much exercise or what what am I doing. Back here for two hours so I clicked on a pedometer on inside on the inside of my shoe and after the show I took it off and it said thirteen point one miles and I was like do our show sane so it made sense. I'm like fuck no wonder I can't gain weight or sweatier. Marathon runner literally single day. You're clocking in at thirteen fourteen. Fats Bananas Unbelievable. He did so gearing up for this tour do you. Are you GONNA work out train every day? I was with them for like a week and then I was like I'm out. I Jim with me every day for like a week and then she just. I don't feel very good. This is making me sick. Like working out like the first couple of days. I was like. Oh It's good. It's helping mental health. And then it just took a fast decline. I was like my whole body hurts and my brain and everything in amount. I'm having eighty about running out of here so it's not GonNa get you. Is that what you're doing? You're eating weights and fucking box. A that's the tremors. Do this or some guys. Just fuck it. I'm just going to go. And what imagine most drummers do I mean it's it's mostly upper body sport basically so you've got to kind of keep that all and he's getting like you're getting you're getting bigger arms. His arms were so thin almost like mine and now they're like you can see he's just like it's crazy how much you've gained muscle just in the last couple months the end of that tour and he's going to be it's going to be show swamp. You're getting ready for work and you're deciding today going to be a stylish day or comfortable day. You don't have to decide between the do the do you don't have to decide between the two. Thanks to Beta brand Beta brand dress. Pant Yoga Pants. You don't have to sacrifice comfort or style it's fantastic. They're stylish professional so Brand you never have to sacrifice comfort or function for Sal Dress Pants. That are also yoga. Pants are super comfy. They'RE STRETCHY. They stay wrinkle free They have all styles of dress pants with the stretch. Fit and feel of yogurts. Who Doesn't love a good Beta Brand Yoga pants? You know they kind of took in you feel safe. They got boot cut straight legs skinny crops and more and they even have a pair with eight. 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Fuck you know what it's it's weird you know you go from like are jumping up and down on your bed. Playing Air Guitar Plan on cardboard boxes in thinking one day. I'M GONNA fucking. I'm GONNA do this. I'm going to be an Obama to be fucking Rockstar. Lulu all this shit and you never think like boy. You'd think that but the reality is you know you don't know of anybody that sits there and goes. Oh I'm definitely doing this for sure. Yeah because I mean you could think it but to be that you know Sharon convincing convinced that you're going to going to make it. I mean it just really came by surprise you know all of a sudden one day. You know we're playing around in Hollywood on all the sudden in we were just like putting up flyers and doing shit no so Dr. driving admire fan putting up flyers on telephone poles and then eventually like we made enough noise in the city that we were selling out like a Friday Saturday and Sunday at the whisky. And that's that's when it hit me I was like people are come and check this out to look. Green is in my mind. I was like fuck. We've made it. Yeah of course do whiskey ago Friday Saturday Sunday. Bro Relaxed Right. This is nothing right in my mind. I was like you should have that youthful kind of ignorance. Because you're just a little lean ager you don't know had no idea. Yeah I had no idea. And then there's that there's that day where you know the first time you hear your music on the radio you're like a that's see. I think that's all the arts. It's like amazing to go for but I think for some reason always stands out to me that music it's the Mo you're the most preposterous that you think you can make me like my band is GonNa. It's just seems it's outrageous. It does and it is. I mean just because they're so crazy like like the guy's going on almost forty thirty five forty years thirty five years. Yeah and like and all these a stadium tour took it is crazy and the fans are so dire. They've been fans since they were like fifty like sending their tits. I'm Susan mclane my years old people you're Merck is going to be tied. They can actually afford exactly. Yeah speaking of affording things so being young and making crazy money. What is like when you look back? What's the stupidest craziest Shit you bought your? I cannot believe I don't even know what the stupidest or something you're like. I cannot believe I fuck the dumbest thing. I bought. Fuck Anything. That was so expensive. I like Danny Brown. Said he bought a three thousand Dollar Cape. She bought it and he's like it's the dumbest shit came by anything dumb money you bought some. He's racked up a bunch of cars like hugely expensive cars. At least or Ferrari Testarossa that mangled out one test Rosa? It's imprinted into my memory. Forever had the posters on. My Wall is such an eighty supercars test rose. And you're like that is an like. I will only see this in posters Miami Vice Shit Tonight. I think probably the dumbest Shit that I ever purchased Because if you notice I don't wear a watch I don't give a fuck what time it is none of that and I'm not into like I don't know I'm just not into like bling and shit and I bought a fucking rolex this Biz just fucking just. There's no room for any more diamonds. Just totally stunned out around the basil in the fucking face the ban everything just iced out just crazy town. I looked like fucking hip hop. I don't is probably a hundred and ten thousand and then listen to what he did with the watch. Listen to what he did. He gave it to my friends. He's wearing it is. He's wearing it and his friend goes. Hey Man I really like that. And he goes. Oh cool you want. It just gives it to. This is Tommy's problem. He gives shit away to people all the time Zimmerman. I saw him and he's also gave some guy a motorcycle because the guy came over like some guy didn't even really know that well if you gave him your motorcycle because he said he liked it and then the guy went and put it on Ebay Tommy Motorcycle Shitty. 'cause he's loving generous person like any kind. Yes you know what I don't have is my very very first gold record because once again we gave it away. I dude we were all sitting there doing fucking big giant lines across it. You know and it's like yeah you're out here dude. Fuck yeah cocaine like you just get together with your friends and lie to each other. That's basically what that is tomorrow. We're going to and nothing ever happens right so and that was it was one of those nights and like you know. I'm sitting there and my buddy was just I fuck dude so crazy man to a fucking fucking Gaga's off your first gold record. I'm like did take it and he's like what I'm like. Yeah fuck you out. So I don't even have and sell it. I don't know I think something like that. Selling Shitty. Yeah. That's what bummed me out. 'cause the guy gave the Harley to GonNa fuck he's like I go. I hate me Tommy. Lee's Tommy writing just like when I go dude. What the fuck are you doing fuck? I need the money man. Look I understand if you need the money. Then sell it but don't fucking advertise that it's mind right to make more money than it's worth to like. You're just taking a really wonderful situation. Yeah and and just you're just milking you're being a shithead right now. Of course so yeah and he was in. He finally took it down. Just took my name off and stuff if you need out fucking. That's what made me fall in. Love with him is that he is the biggest heart out of anyone. I've ever met in my life just the most kind giving expropriate. Yeah you you guys meet. How did this happen? Different worlds okay. We are totally different but we live on the same planet. You can kinda like. We're both really fucking fucked up and weird and it just works perfectly together. Embarrassing embarrassed embarrassed. I have followed her for years on vine. I'm Mike Man just just followed her thoughts futures. But she's hot. I'm not I just would follow and watch her of doers book and Crazy Shit. And then one day I am single for awhile and was sitting there with my kids and my kids relate dad my kids giving me fucking dating. Advice Dad. Have you heard about this new APP? It's called riot. Guys what Ryan yes. That's for people that don't know a dating APP for like you have to be kind of checked into it. Celebrity feted group and outside to like. Yeah you gotta like sign up and then you know they check you all out and then once you get approved. Whatever you're in an all right. Yeah I'll try it get on there. I'm like I get approved of I'm get on there and I'm like Whoa Dude. They're on here. Yeah there's a crazy people on there. Have you guys ever gone logged in? 'cause you guys have been married for since yeah. I want to see what's out there to see how we want to die. We date on Ryan together because we know ball in R. E. We love that new relationship energy. Yes and we WANNA know what our second spouses are going to be. Always adding Mike Okay. So there's really famous famous people on their cool. No because he was with Mendez but there was a lot of big people lot swiping and seeing these I went on. This is crazy now and I'm flicking through. It's almost embarrassing. Like how'd you guys meet? I'm like on a dating Larry Bird. Oh my God Britain Fuck Rod. Yeah fuck she's funny as fuck and she's cute mom just going to say what's up so sweet and funny and he's actually so oh sorry he's actually so funny. He's actually much funnier than I am. Which is awesome. Because he's so goofy and fucking weird and it just cracks me up and then was was your first aid at Dinner Date or no actually we because he lives in Calabasas and I lived in West. Hollywood and I was like yeah. Okay so you never you know what I mean like driving a fucking right because asking you know what I mean. It's way too far and so Then he messaged me one. Damn like ham playing Playing drums for this artist broke candy. I don't know if you guys knew who she she's like fucking crazy. She's got like barb wire. Tattoos are under nipples She's fucking gnarly. Look her up cool. Why don't you yes? She's fucking Rab. Wrote Brooke Candy Dude. She's Oh yeah. You guys have a real podcasts. It's very cool. Yeah She's new record gnarly. She's Pretty. She's covered in tax anyway. So he's playing drums for her. La La Pride and. It's actually really funny because his friend was trying to hook him up with her. And I show up to this fucking pride with a formula lookalikes over Britain's so I shop in fucking clown wig like a total dumb ass like trying to be fucking Mike Goofy self. I'M GONNA wear if I can prod coders flying gay pride colder like the one this J. One big like embarrassing clearly. Like no sense of self like just messed up and so fucking God as a wearing the wig. I'm like why did I took this always torturing yourself itself punishment these stupid but then I can't take it off because my hair's already mad dour some. Tony was committed to the gold the clown week and I show up in them all. Hey it's made those on and just fucking smiled show big. He grabbed my hand. He's like oh I'm so glad you're here and then just carry took me around the festival. We hung out the whole time and then I met the check. The singer Brooke Candy and he was like. Hey this is Brittany issues like get the Fuck Outta. I was that she was so bombed I could tell she was pissed because she she wanted to hook up with you anyway. She says he held my hand and he never let go and it was crazy because he was dating like two other chicks at the time Say just say okay. So one of them was some random check and then the other one was Carmen Electra. I think the most beautiful girl in the entire world and even though she's older than me she's better looking than me. I'm fucking way hot. No she has no. She is trust me. I've seen or Carmen. She's pretty I think she is anyway. So he's dating me that Carmen and then another girl and we're going on dates and we get pop papper. Paparazzi you'd I don't even know what it's called we at the fucking Sushi restaurant right and there's a picture of US Kissing. And then he gets a phone call and it's fucking Carmen Electra. And she's like fucking screaming at him like you fucking piece like uh kept talking. Believe it Blah Blah Blah. You know incident. She's gone tonight. Just had one other chick to get rid of so then cool that got rid of itself so then I just had this other chick to get rid of who would not move on. Like she was fucking like who is your. How early on into this dating or you know what I mean like three weeks three weeks and you're like this is Mike. Keep dating me and we're hanging out. Every day. We lived at his house. Basically right away like we. Can we just hanging out every night like you know I had the you know had vine so I have a job? I made my head money. I'd made so much money on vine I was just kinda living my life and so is that a house like every day and then you know some days. Obviously if I had meetings or whatever he's hanging out with whoever else and so like that's then Carmen was gone. And then the other this last chick she had her fucking clause and dude like she was not ready. Let go like I remember you. Were texting you text. Her and you were like Hey. I started seeing someone so I think like you know it's been swell and she's like Oh what does she look like like whatever and then she keeps sending him fucking nudes and Shit so finally I just got on there and I was like listen bitch. Nobody wants your fucking old ASS news at the fuck out. She's like you know she's like in her forties shots. She's hot but I was like I will fight. You Meet Rob with me. Finally Shit Outta you. She give a sign that she was done. No she finally. She kind of took a while for her to stop messaging him like she. Kinda would just keep checking in coping. We were GONNA fail the hot chick. I liked what starting it's crazy like. What's gotten even worse though is because of the dirt? The dirt on Netflix made all these young men. Now these images. Like what a bummer? So hot and they fucking him. They're like looking tight hot like my body and they're like so hot there so hot these girls in well. I'M GONNA kill myself but he doesn't care. He's seen all the court. Well that's the thing I mean. At the end of the day bodies our bodies right in. How many have you slammed Christ? Let's let's go through a mall right now so you got it. Yeah Yeah what can I? When did you stop counting? Everyone counts for a minute. Yeah did you ever count? Everyone does got. I don't I don't know if a recounted he started having sex like what fifteen thirteen fourteen thirteen thirteen. He lost his virgin advanced into the classic. The GIRL NEXT DOOR. You really did say yes. Yeah and then. When was the first one? Would you live to the world big tour? How are you for that? I was almost eighteen? Almost eight hours world. Yeah just Boston. The bus the nets tour. You know what's fun? Here's how it used to be quick. Probably Dan later on into the tour. I love telling the story because this is fucked up like you know after busting many nuts and Kinda sure the show the boredom startup. You know that kind of thing happens so as a band. We're like all right when we need to set some like steaks Greenie system stakes so okay. Whoever nails mom and the daughter Wow ten thousand dollars ten thousand dollars now? Whoever whoever nails mother daughter grandma they all came to the show that three way was paying twenty. G's when he. Jeez Bre and now and if grandma took her teeth out and gummed you that's an extra five so there's twenty five g's on a three way with mom daughter and grandma. I may six hundred thousand. Wait did you guys do. Do People hit these state? The mother's mother daughters several nobody nailed. The grandma was there. You told me one time the grandma was there. No she's fingering yourself in the corner now. This arena tour. You can have three generations. Yeah yeah that's true. Maybe the bounty needs to go back. It does go back. You're starting in Jacksonville. Which is prime taken from that? Oh yeah there's all kinds of that they're now. I got a question for you though with mother daughter things right. Because there's you hear it and you go your mind immediately goes to work you know porn kind of thing but in the reality of it like you're talking. This is a real thing that happened. How awkward are a mother and daughter to get your? I mean it's how does it play out? Well it's it's sometimes they're like best friends are almost like could be sisters like you were a little older sister young. Mr And then there's the ones that are clearly mother daughter a lot of times. They're very close in age. Especially the ones that are bringing their daughters to show. Iraq isn't the fucking ballet. It's like they're bringing their daughter along is like bringing the guy brings a puppy to fuck and park some girls. 'cause you're not. It's like that you had multiple mother daughter so hold on. You don't need to know details. How does this work? So so you're backstage and then the the Rhody or whatever is like hey this is mother and daughter and then you guys what go to hotel room or you in the Green Room and you bang all three at the same time or you bang one when leaves and the other comes in at the same time the mom and the DOT. They're seeing each other giving fucking weird ham and you're like this is what I need to get heart. That's women crazy bounty started. We're just tired of just regular fucking crazy when I first started dating him. My mom was like He's better for me and my mom was like 'cause my mom's like sixty and she was like. Oh no no no. You don't even know about him. I I do and she was like I need to date him. Ten Grand Line scary for a minute when she first like. What's your mom? What was your mom like the for? Some she met him groupie total fucking. Yes just like I love you. I've had I've had posters like I. I know who you are an all your music like just so super funny. You made a little clip. It's fucking okay. So when I first started dating Tommy People. Thought I was dating Tommy Lee Jones because I was telling people I was dating Tommy Lee and people were like. Oh and my family got really confused and they were like Tommy Lee Jones. Like he's Kinda old for her. You know and I kept getting confused. I was like you know I mean I'm thirty three and you're fifty seven but like he doesn't look old and he doesn't act old. You know what I mean but comedy Lee Jones is clearly old looks old and actually yes yes exactly so my family saw dating so they were really confused because they thought that that's who I was going out with an my friends and their leg and then when I told him it was Tommy Lee. Yeah my dad was like. Oh that guy's got his Dick Pierce and his nipples pierced. Does my dad knows about a lot and he was like. Oh okay like asking to borrow video. Yeah that's not like Tommy Lee. Just walk into the House it's old. It's an Oakland okay. Tommy Walking in this Tommy Lee Jones like they were all disappointed. Yeah Yeah Yeah I think because we set it up. I think we should probably visit some of your talks. Chris yes all right. Let's ask him go ahead. I am so excited that you're excited because many people are to see my socks. You'RE GONNA be bombed talk talk all the time. I follow me on the Graham Coast. My stories okay. I just wanted to thank you. I think for an L. The guys in the box. We were talking about your video. Your sex video was probably the first one we all saw growing up. And it was actually kind of sweet and lovely and thank you. Thank you for showing US long and PAM PAM and. They're so pretty pretty. Everyone thinks porn and I'm like that was just on vacation. Yeah and that somebody adults story's a long story that stolen and Blah Blah Blah. But it wasn't really like. Oh let's make a fucking porn. Yeah KINDA STARTED. Like a whole. I mean after that yet to everybody's doing this on purpose now exactly yeah crazy. Yeah sweet. You're welcome yeah Nice. Yeah Yes yes Really your sweet jacket off Tommy. Everybody all the guys in the booth. WanNa thank you all right. We're sorry my theme song. It's the segment theme song all right. It sounds rowdy some Listen C or K. It's all chaos is all it sea. Let me know if you've seen some of these before. These are curious. These picks of these are not my original content that she puts out there. It's stuff that she finds and puts here so I guess we'll do what is suffering. Okay hold on to women. I don't stunt like bitches. Who has for money cooks and it gets minimum business. Who you realize this. I don't care about being gay and I never will be anyone. Who is you're going to need to find someone else? Okay because already have a so. This is called big lie. But there's a lot going on find the one that I like. Sometimes I forget I have uterus because sometimes if forget to take testosterone and when I forget to take my testosterone go take a poop poop and there's blood and I'm like oh no but it's it's just a period talk you're in the dark side of the light side like fucking renegade Weirdo's go. Yeah you're in the dark dark world of talk. Yeah dark talks. I follow you like you're a professional social media person but I wouldn't curate you because this is. This is my land. Aren't Britney had notable shifts in her seat and in her emotions adding to of Christina's choice? Not Happy I am not finding the fun here. Icp Okay it's coming. We see what I got here. Insane Clown posse here. He is what's going on with the face Tattoo. It's a very slow slow. Slow process was real. Yeah it's GonNa take up to maybe two three years for it to actually see some major major results. What I sometimes certain lighting makes it look darker all lighting up seeing him and getting it removed. Seen that one guy. He's a big obviously juggle. Oh and he went all in on how makeup washes off. He was like I want it all the time so he had that tattooed in and then he got sober and now he's like I want this off but it's like a he says it's a two three year process. Ou snarly. I actually tried to get mine removed on my arm and I went like eight times. And they're still eight eight times. We don't have that process dialed yet. That should not be read. Had anything taken off and I tried to get something on my net taken off and I went like fucking eight times and I'm like dude and it's four times more painful. It smells like hotdogs or his flesh burning your life and it's still not really now down so I just was like you know what fuck this. I'm just going to cover it. Because that the techniques in the technology they have is just. It's not there but he can't. It's going to be there for fucking ever union older inc. They say the harder it is. You know what I mean. The inks probably he said this is going to get darker lack Inc. sometimes it looks Dogra certain lighting. Why probably the person the tech removing it was like? Oh in certain light. You can barely even tell you. Can you imagine the ban guys like I always get pop like people do portraits or yeah crew tattoos? And you're always like dude that's fucking Rod. We're all signed someone's arm in Indy. Dude sign the site and get your name tattooed on me on my first of all before assigning. Are you sure you want my name on you? Think about it when you're seventy or are you going to work and if you do okay? I'll sign it but So you're always flattered with people tend to imagine the the insane clown posse going like now. That's a fucking fan dude face actual face. I've never seen. I mean he should at least get tickets lifetime. Yeah front row ruined your life for our band you cannot get a job. Yeah people look people got mine me on the Yeah look at that dude. I know I cannot believe crazy. People die in like you know that's GonNa be on their dead body. I see I. I look at that when I get people doing you. That to me makes sense von Tattoo. Oh my God Bobby Lee right next to it and I just feel like dude. You WanNA comedian. Bring people a lot of joy. We laid in and watch specials on that oil really died three hours. We were dying. I'm glad we got that. We get this out of the way because we died we fucking marathon every fucking thing you've done and thank God. I literally dude for a couple of days. My face hurt right here. Oh Christina's hilarious too. I've seen I've seen you around to our couple. Always say like the. I don't know the gift of laughter is something really special. It's very much like music. You get it and you're like fuck. The laughter is such a powerful thing and thank you. That's very nice. Thank thank you for that wonderful gift. Thank you get your face on the head of the every time I give him a BLOWJOB STOMPS. Here we go. It's the least you could do. You Know Oh this is just a PSA for everyone if you're not black don't say the N. Word I don't care. What the context is. I don't care what bridging the word it is. Don't say don't say it. Stop saying it period. That's a nice message for the Nail House. He just did it to show off the navy. Did everybody knows not to say the N Word on the memo in a while the guy. That's picking on the Wolfpack. Tell you one thing. If you're too much of a fucking coward to hide behind a fucking black screen. Come at me. I'll give you my fucking home address. I don't give a fuck. Would you better bring Wolf Pack? Oh this group or something a nerds that he defense they have those things. Don't bully US online. There's a whole lane of Of people social media who expressed their anger and frustration. Just into a camera. And you're upset and they'll just be like their whole post are just sick of people say. Shit to me if you WANNA say fuck you up and you know and like no one's giving them shit like nobody. My favorite is also the guy who doesn't know that this is a public platform. Like Scindia. Love you so much dude. Everybody sees there's just like my mom. I got facebook Shit. My mom would write on facebook. Sending me a prime. Hey how's your UTI on my wall? And I'm like that's walls on one and it has all these lakes and she's like those and like so embarrassed so embarrassed. I love this. I've Seen S. I love this right. Nothing because you're a Chihuahua in a Bubble Food Foo Foo. We have a bubble backpack for our surface up against the bubble. It's actually check this out. No no no not depressing. Sorry baby to do this Kobe so bad. That'd be I love you. What the fuck thinks. He's sending her a personal right the private he ticked off tectonic hosting it. Did you see the we are not related? One that one blew Kabul. Now's a populist as a couple and well just let you. Watch it outlaws. Listen what makes related. No No? Stop this this. Oh you don't Piss me for coughing. I'm already a bank gardening mood today. Well little advice to nose thank cousins. No the fuck we're not. I'm not related to her. I know Kim to heart. Dude keep the shit up. I'm calling the fucking CEO and every one of y'alls goddamn cancer getting shutdown. Do I make myself clear why he's Cherokee at all so you will have a loud mouth? Well secrets out. Fuck with US and watch what happens to your accounts goodbye. Yeah I think everybody has been commenting like what's it like a fucking your cousin all day and then they decided to just be like we are not related. He's Cherokee. I'm not even like some nine year. Old and Seattle. Whose like fucking your cousin. Relax by the way everybody deals with like. When you're you have huge platform and how do you deal with like trolls? And so this ignore or do you respond back on this video. You know what I when I first started getting a online was like probably like two years into it and it would just like all these young kids run vine they just throw the meanest ones. They'll say fucked up shit like your hair. Looks like ice cream like just dumb insulting and then like there's some people that were like kill yourself and you're like oh there's like hundreds of people saying that and you're like Oh. It's a lot like mental health problems. Don't say that to me But yeah so then. I just started ignoring it and then eventually got off of vine. That was the reason why I left mine like and then it. Kinda ended because people were just astles and I was like fuck this but then now it's like you still. I do read comments as bad and he tells me sometimes I do it. Just like Kinda gauge. I mean I have a podcast so I just kind of like like to read my comments and be like you know people like Oh you talk too much let your guests talk odds inciteful advice. You know what I mean so sometimes you sometimes I feel like shit do you just block them or ignore? It was stop locking people. Say whatever like if you're just GonNa Talk. Shit you're just GonNa look good Dick on here. You know what I mean like. You're just GONNA look like an asshole so I just kind of let it happen now not to usually real real fans compounds anyway. Yeah now people will come to your aid. I feel like you know I feel like now. People were getting a little bit less shitty. Or maybe they're not but I feel like they are. I don't know it's weird. It sucks. It's annoying like why are you on the Internet doing that? Does that make you feel it? Just you realize that they're just like really Ho- miserable people and that's like to go on there and say to someone you don't even know it just makes you. You're just a sack and especially because your intent is to make people laugh you really genuinely are one of those social media people like you want to bring joy and all I wanna do and it's like people are like looking this racist because I used to do care ghetto door and she thinks Hispanic accent. Whatever fucking racist and I was like no. It's a fucking character okay. Like I can't so I can only be a white person always at or myself. I can't even pretend to be somebody else or it's offensive know. I don't know how you guys were without. Like duty is comedy. This is supposed to be funny at a certain point. You just like you normally go all the you know the emotions of it and the and like the layers of it but I you know you're you're stunned when somebody calls you offer something and then you start to like argue back. I think after a while of doing this you just go like oh. I'm just going to ignore all your and then like if if need to be on something. I feel like there are people that I would trust to. You know what I mean like. Hey that's super fucked up but you can't be like oh I'll pull the audience all the time and see if they're okay with every like that's just ridiculous that is crazy. Yeah it's it's just like a bomber you know sometimes 'cause you're like all I'm trying to do is make people happy and I think too like the Youtube Community. The vine people like that's a different breed altogether than like music and comedy. That's a specific community because we're friends with youtubers and it just seems like that's just it's a more hostile environment shown general. It's really different. Live on their to troll. Yes like what? Can I say that terrible whole account is just a? It's their account is based on trolling other accounts. Right and they'll be and they'll have a significant following their whole thing is just like fuck Tommy Lee. That's their video. And then they're like they get their views from that and that's your that's what you live for that. That's kind of bananas like you're like Whoa Dude. I just can't deal with like negative energy anymore. Let's just get out of here when you just got to ask for forgiveness you wide awake and everything but you're not calling me text me. Let me know what you're doing? What's up with his beard. Perfect folder. Talking about what's up with the bridge of his nose there's hair growing. Is that hair. I thought that was no girl. Oh No oh you mean here. There's hair growing top. Isn't the bridge here. I was at a bridge or whatever this is. It's actually air hair. No no choice to go quasi amish with the beer. It's beautiful choice to fade out the interior and leave the exterior modern. It really is. It's like Corey. Oh my God. Our friend has a beard like this does. Yeah Kinda like all corps. He tries to be like very strange. Those people tries really hard to be strange. I want to try to come to a show of the stadium tour. Sure only so much fun the awesome. You gotta come for sure. Yeah Bro make it get naked. Everybody a sexiest outfit. Some blown passes look at Toms out there. My God after showgirls. Together famous up or down or you down away. I didn't even realize just now but they are both named Tom. Lee that not registered. Because you're Tommy and you're why are you not Tommy? All my friends in private on family you are. Thomas does are both Tommy's know why he's named Tommy and how funny this shit is. Do you want to tell them the fucking thing about you and your brother? Your Dad naming you and your brother I. My father was married before so I have a half brother. And guess what his fucking name is Jerry. Tom and Jerry in death thinks he's funnier plugging. Tom and Jerry cartoon okay guys. That was his motivation. Yeah he liked Tom and Jerry. He's like what I like it. I like Jerry kids. Tom and Jerry Mouse. Yes isn't that is so fun. Yeah Yeah Tom and Jerry I mean he's he literally did it for his own amusement. I told you I was like dude. I kinda respect that. I know it is my kids Tom and Jerry. We just got a kick out of it. Every giggle would never stop forty years as like you ever see the cartoon. She's so funny God so before we go I want to. I mean not that you need it. Obviously you're doing a fucking stadium out but Motley crue and you have on the show with USA. Who's on the show with you kind of Jewish saying sure? Yeah Leopard on the show. Poisons and Joan Jett That's crazy they're hitting Jacksonville's San Antonio Kansas City Saint Louis Minneapolis Nashville. Cincinnati Cleveland. Miami Orlando Charlotte Arlington. Houston San Francisco San Diego Glendale Arizona. Lanna Jesus Christ Philly Pittsburgh all the way all over the country and these are all stadiums and is that final when the show who birthday. That'll be like real close to like the grant. That's probably the one of the first times it's open right I know I want to talk about so bad to be the first band in there. Yeah Taylor Swift is in there. What are we set her on fire but we could do that but I and then again I I went. That's cool. That's cool show. Maybe just kind of break it in slightly. Yeah we'll just go fucking wreck the place so it just falls down. After desert new stadiums wave Nello. Very different doesn't ever comedy. La La la La la rocks. Tom Okay do you watch her? Netflix dead. I actually really like. She's exactly yeah. I like some of her songs. I'm in do it but she's exactly who I thought she would be very cool. We watched it. I know she's sorry. Joe Get on board trolls control. He's so hateful hateful. I am not are you. Are you playing playing anywhere around here? Well how many stores like store all the time at the Ice House. And then you're they're doing like You know she shoots We can't announce that yet but in whatever later this year and then I just my my new special comes out in a few weeks so I have to like year up. Do All we WANNA come see. You guys trades love that I'd love to podcast with you guys again. So what are you GonNa do my podcast? Listen I've only done fifty episodes so far but it's doing well love to me host anytime you guys both come. Yeah I got worse. I it's about the worshiped you've ever been through. Oh my God yeah see. Everyone's got a story like bill. Burr came on and they talked about drums. Little time for your free shirts. Where can we get burnt a shirt? Because we're for him shirt and fill. It does getting a goodness stomach. Sleigh sleeve too strict bypass. Yeah yeah put the balloon in their co in an outpatient now with what he's doing he's not doing the stomach where they reduce the size. He's doing the thing where they just kind of. Cap The top and the bottom of it so that he can't his that well. The doctor say he asked lose member of at least seventy pounds on his own. Before they'll do you see the picture of soda like not that long ago. Things have changed October. He looked fine. Okay but I mean you know. What though then doers thing. He's not GonNa look like you know he's GonNa be all skinny awesome. Yeah oh I didn't realize it was like that. Yeah maybe he was wearing a girdle. Yeah I know he's like I think. He said like not not a long period tiny he gained like eighty pounds in just like a couple of how just kind of being himself again out there. You know I don't know how you aren tour like On tour I usually. It's it's tough right with like destructive. It's like city city cities and you start to kind of you know breakdown. You start making poor food choices but like fucking skinny but the bird you the booze and the food that'll do it. Yeah he's up to like four something right now. Anyway I would love to come on I I. It's called worse. I what he wants to like. You know it's funny. It's just like the subject matter like everybody has the first time they've the worst I ever. Ah There's there's some good ones. Yeah what's the best worst? I you've heard is probably the lead singer of crazy town seth He got he went to Rehab Antigua. And it was on a fucking island right and it was some celebrity Rehab and he didn't WanNa be there and there is no way. There's no way to get off the silent as you go on a boat right so he said fuck that and he just swam into the ocean and swam for like what ten hours in shark infested water to the closest island right and then he washes up on the shore that island and he's greeted by a dude with a machete named like forget what it was like razor or something like that and he was like. Yo I need drugs. Like I'm fucked up in. The Guy took him in the navy. He realized he was a singer. Crazy town and then he started. Pimping him around the island you know. He's how badly he wanted. It was so bad and then they did all these drugs together and the guy with the machete killed someone in front of him and like it was fucking. It's the craziest story so his fucking Berkshire it's fucking and then he had to like escape to the UN to like get saved and they almost like didn't save him because the left the Rehab and they were about to like let them be there and die. It was really fucking gnarly. It's totally drugs. Offer fucking crack cocaine. Yeah so that was probably the GNARLIEST WALSUM. Tommy came onto no after textron okay. That's what I'm thinking. I thought you were GonNa say I have to take a shit? I have to take us. It took an emergency ship to walk to one and then I was like you know when I walked in there I was like I guess I'll order my coffee and then go back and then take your shit coffee you no then I ordered it just and then I paid for it and they're like all right it'll be at the end of the bar and I was like okay and I was like I'll have to shoot like right and then I then I saw the code and then I sat in there in walked through I sat down and they had the Like the broken toilet paper thing on that when you pull it goes like don't so it's like a feels like you're making like allow people are like well that guy's wiping a lot. There's no fan on so you just here just haber everytime echoing that level of emergency brown trying to think man. What did you eat? Did you eat lunch before you walked over? Yes what did you have Kelly? Yeah so right through. You know we wait. No Karnal coffee. Well I guess it was. You know if you'd be pre doing a bump cocaine you're like oh I gotTa Shit is that right. I didn't know that that's a drug people. Person Thing yes. No regular person their drugs on the stadium tour. You think not not for me where sober almost all. The Band is sober. So does anyone know weedy? There's we do eat. No I right now. It's been like almost six months for me. I just Kinda just stopped everything you really. You're like able to do that. Sounds like me just a hair was but he did and he's doing so much well great. It's always good to pump the brakes boxes awesome. We're thrilled that you guys came. Thank you for coming today. that's awesome layer guessing. You all know by now. Come over and get some proclaims. Let's get down with breast tax wolf boop boop boop raw raw raw raw raw. Bro were an abuse. Come over and up the and abused and layer oft moved awesome boon over me around my legs. I Know Barks data with this book. Lint. Let's get down with breast pack all Byrd Role.