35 Burst results for "Postpartum Depression"
The Dinesh D'Souza Podcast
Did the Woman Accused of Killing Her Kids Have Postpartum Depression?
"There is an interesting case in Massachusetts of a woman who has been arrested and accused of killing her at three children. And when Debbie and I were discussing the case, the whole issue of postpartum syndrome came up. Depression. Postpartum. Well, I guess there's postpartum. There's anxiety. Yeah, it's postpartum depression or postpartum psychosis. Right. And those aren't all exactly the same, but you know something about this. So let's talk about what do you think happened here? Let's give a couple of details. The woman's name is Lindsey clancy. She's just 32. She's some ducks very Massachusetts. So the question becomes, what on earth would make a mom? A mom will obviously wanted these children. And three of them to do the bizarre act, which would seem to run totally against nature of killing her own children. Why would somebody do that? Well, as it turns out, there is a potential or a possible medical explanation. Right. So postpartum depression is actually quite common. It's not, it's not super uncommon. I had it with my firstborn with Justin, who is going to be 28 soon, so a long time ago. But, you know, it's one of these things that you have a baby and you think you're just going to be like beaming with happiness because you just had a child. But what happens is your hormones become like just completely just jumbled haywire, right? And then you become, well, I, at least in my situation, I became very, very sad, crying just about everything and anything. I also became very possessive of Justin and I didn't want people to hold him. I was extremely agitated by just even light. I had to have all the shades drawn. And so I was diagnosed actually with postpartum depression,
The Psych Central Show
"postpartum depression" Discussed on The Psych Central Show
"We're back with actor and producer Ryan Michelle bathe, discussing her experiences with postpartum depression. I want to circle back to something that you said where you needed to lose the baby weight to be a good mother. Now from I think any reasonable person's perspective, how much you weigh has nothing to do with your ability to be a good parent. But that's not the message that society gets, and that's clearly not the message that you got. What was that like for you to just look at a number on a scale and decide that that determined whether or not you were a good mom? I wish I could put it into words. And again, you know, I'm going to be perfectly honest with you. And I'm a little ashamed to admit this, but it has taken me my son is ten. It's taking me ten years to unpack all of this. Like really and truly, what's me, what society? What is a dangerous thing that says to really come to all of those conclusions? It has taken me ten years to even begin to unpack, right? And when I say unpack, that doesn't mean things are now in their drawers. I've just taken them out of the suitcase. Okay? And I don't know where they go. We have to do go with that metaphor. Unpack. Not put things away and compartmentalize and like, okay, that's done. I'm still with the suitcase open and everything is out, right? And I don't know. And it's not folded. It's a mess. Making progress, but slowly. Progress. Low progress because again, and maybe it's because it's the industry that I'm in. And so that was a trigger. And because it was a persistent and consistent trigger, maybe that was another reason why I sort of tipped into a very deep depression and being surrounded by people who were constantly talking about weight and constantly talking about what they ate and constantly talking about their workout and constantly talking about it and it does become the smaller you are, the bigger your badge of honor in our business and our industry. And again, that was my community. Maybe it would have been different if I had been in a different community, but that was the only community I had. It was a bit. That was just it. There was this phrasing around losing the baby weight. That I realized now is a part of this thing that I did not have a name for diet culture, didn't know that that was a thing. Makes a lot of sense, but it didn't know it at that point, right? Where your worth as a mother is definitely looped into how fast you snap back. It's a very real thing. I had a person in my life who was close to me Vis-à-vis the business they were a close business associate of mine. And this person said to me, I question your work ethic. Because you haven't lost the weight. Wow. Yeah. That's such a bold statement. I mean, it's almost a scary statement. She set me down to tell me. It was like I have something to tell you. And it was a big moment. It was a question your work ethic because you have it lost the weight. And I know other women who do it very easily. I'm very quickly. And you just don't you have not. You don't work hard enough. And is this really something you want to do? And she said, you know, there's no shame in being stay at home mom. But that's a question your work ethic and then I question whether or not you even want to be in this business because of as you haven't even tried to lose the weight. The exact phrase was you haven't even tried to lose the weight, which is something that this person could not possibly know. So there's just an assumption that because you haven't, you haven't tried. Yeah. And what did you say? Nothing. I mean, I was gobsmacked. I was just gobsmacked. There was nothing to say. And at the time, I kind of took it on as truth. Again, right? Because I'm at this point when she said that maybe 6, 7 months postpartum, not realizing, I'm still going through hormonal. I mean, I was still breastfeeding at that time. I think when she said this to me, and in my mind, at the time, I sat there and I remember we were in a coffee shop. And I remember thinking, well, maybe this is what love and dedication looks like, telling people the hard truth. And I'm already thinking that I'm not good enough, and that I'm not enough, the mother, as a woman. And this just was outside confirmation. That the voices inside of my head were right. So she had fertile ground, right? It's not like she said it to concrete brick walls. She said it to rich fertile earth for her words to take root. I think that many of us have periods of time where we feel like we're not good enough or that we could do better that we just need to try harder and in general everywhere we turn, people accidentally reinforce that to us, which is completely unhelpful, but it's a sort of part of the human condition, right? But you have come to the other side of this and you're able to talk about it and talk about it productively. How? How did you do it? The thing that really helped me the most was when I realized that yes, you have this period of 6 weeks where you have to take extra special care of yourself, but that a postpartum body mind soul, whatever all the postpartum holistically is not dust 60. It's not just 6 weeks. I can not stress that email. Now, is there some woman who's reading this and was like, at week 5, I was fine. And filled with joy and life forever and ever, then you are a privileged and blessed person and go spread that love and light enjoyed to other people. But again, if you were I was, it's not 6 weeks. Think of it as like 9 months. Think of it as a year. That's your postpartum period. So that was one thing to sort of look at the like for me. And again, this was not until probably harsh to years in, maybe three, and I realized that I just had this moment of clarity like a lot of people say, where I realized I was unwell. I was like, this is not like my son is two and a half. And there's so much joy in the little things in life. And yet, I feel like I'm on the other side of a glass wall, and I'm watching the joy. And I'm watching life happen. And I know for a fact that this is not a normal feeling. And I knew I had a moment of clarity where I would literally was looking. It's like I could physically feel or see that wall that glass. I had this thought. My family would be better off without me. And it wasn't like I'm going to go do anything to myself. It was not a suicidal thought. But it was very clearly like I'm going to leave my husband, leave my child with my husband, and I will go someplace else. Because they are going to be better off without me. I felt very clearly I'm an albatross around my own neck. And I can't raise this child, and I can't be with this man. Because I am so terribly unhappy. I'm miserable. It was that thought that made me go, what do I do with this? Ryan, what changed? Was there ever a turning point moment for you? I think if I had to think of a turning point, ironically, it was, I ended up getting.
The Psych Central Show
"postpartum depression" Discussed on The Psych Central Show
"Yeah, there's that very small it's very beginning. The first 6 weeks were you and the baby are still people still think of you guys as connected and the concern is the postpartum psychosis where it's incredibly dangerous and stakes are very high. But I also think it speaks to mental health where seems like we only think of it in the extremes, right? And the people that are sort of the ducks where their feet are furiously going underneath the water, but as long as it looks good, keep on barely making it. You know, like as long as you're sailing across that Lake in some fashion reform and you are not, we can't see that you're drowning, great. You're good. Now if we see you're drowning and you're pulling somebody else around you down, somebody will intervene. But otherwise, if you can function you're fine. I wish we didn't see it like that. I think it would help moms in particular since we're talking specifically about postpartum depression. Can you function is the baby fed? Did you shower once this week? Great. You're good. I'm thinking of my daughter in law. She had a baby. And we were there. And we waited 18 hours for the baby to be born. And it was a mess. I mean, there was just, you've been through childbirth. I don't have to explain it to you. And then the next morning, the photographer came in. Photographer took all these pictures. And then the pictures came in and they're like, look, we captured the birth for you. And I'm looking at these pictures and I'm like, yeah, that's not what happened. These are beautiful pictures. They're so beautiful. I mean, sincerely, they're so beautiful. But yeah, that's like 5% of what happened that day. And I think that if you're a first time parent, you believe that 5%, right? You believe all those beautiful photos and spreads and television, and it really leaves you unprepared for, well, for the things that happen to you. Oh yeah. Oh, 1000%. Women do not talk enough to other women about any of it. About any of it. I mean, from childbirth to postpartum to a year to, I mean, we don't talk about any of it. I'm not quite sure why that is. And I have wonderful Friends. Wonderful Friends. Some of whom have babies before me. And I just don't know if it was because they didn't have the language to talk about it. They were still processing what happened to themselves, but there is something very important about women getting together and having honest and Frank conversations about just what you said, right? But now we live in this age where even with our closest friends, we share the pictures. Look at my pictures. They came in and oh my God, you look so beautiful. You're so beautiful. All the babies so beautiful and all of that is important. But you don't hear the word mucus plug unless you are in. Active childbirth or you're a doctor, right? And even then you have to be an OB, right? I was like, how have I never heard the phrase mucus plugs? Before now, we should be talking about these things. And we just don't. And in that lack of transparency and in that lack of conversation, I think we set people who give birth. We set them up for failure. And we set their support system up for failure as well. Ryan, let's talk about your support system. You are married. And your husband was there with you, but you describe him as being both supportive and an annoyance to you. I believe that you said that he tried to help but that you were angry with him because you felt resentful that there were so many extra burdens placed on you that weren't placed on him, specifically you talked about how he didn't have to suffer in the same way he didn't have to wreck his body and that he just appeared fine and that you had to go through all of these things and you felt alone. Did feeling that resentment make it difficult to get support from him? I mean, it's that old ad is right in relationships like you have to express yourself and you have to tell them what makes you happy. You can not expect them to read your mind, right? So fair point. However, if you don't have the word to express yourself, now we're into this whole other territory, right? So for me, it was I just didn't have the words. As you have the words and I think that that's also a part of mental health is like, how do you get help for something part of the illness, part of what's happening, part of the struggle, if you're isolated from yourself, you don't even know how to have the only conversation I could put word to was this baby deserves better. That's all I had. I didn't have access to anything else, particularly because everything else was about survival, right? And you have a new baby. And the learning curve, you know, and you've got to figure out tummy time. You got to figure out, seems like a 15 minutes a day, how hard could it be? But that baby, and you realize it is because sometimes it gets a little dicey, you know what I mean? It's like, oh, Jimmy do you tell me time today? You know, and it's the laundry. And it's for this, and there's so many points in the day that are around survival. For you and this child, right? And I didn't have the words to explain to him what was going on. And again, I'm functioning, right? It's not like he would come home and the baby would be unclean in his feces and I would just be listlessly staring out the window. Then it's like, oh, something's wrong, right? When you can function, people around you, then don't understand that there's a problem. And if your way of handling things as well has been just to function, a lot of people, when they're in these situations, they're only coping mechanism is to function, right? So if you think about it, I'm going through postpartum depression. I don't know if postpartum depression because they said both part of depression only happens within the first 6 weeks. And after 6 weeks, you're fine. All the information tells me that it's not that it's me..
The Psych Central Show
"postpartum depression" Discussed on The Psych Central Show
"Again, I was not diagnosed. I did not go to a psychiatrist. This was all something that I had to struggle with and work through on my own. I wish I had. I wish I own enough to get help just didn't know. You're listening to inside mental health, a psych central podcast, where experts share experiences and the latest thinking on mental health and psychology. Here's your host, Gabe Howard welcome everyone. I'm your host Gabe Howard and calling into the show today we have actor and producer Ryan Michelle buffet. She is currently starring in NBC's high stakes thriller series the endgame. She also holds degrees from Stanford University and a masters of fine arts from New York University, Ryan, welcome to the show. Thank you very much for having me. I appreciate it. Ryan, as I was preparing for the show, I read an interview that you gave about your struggle with postpartum depression after the birth of your first child and the thing that really broke my heart, you said, and I quote, I thought my baby deserved a better mom. It was hard for me to read that so I can only imagine how awful it must have been to feel that way. Yeah, you know, I experienced it as a very true thing that I was thinking. I experienced it like, oh, this is, that was my reality. And my reality was that I had this wonderful child and he would never have the life he would deserve, it was all around me, whether it was people in my industry who commented on my weight. And that's another thing. It's like a mom supposed to bounce back and every article we read about every celebrity mom goes through the following things. I've never been happier. This is the best time in my life. Ironically, I'm in the best shape of my life. I thought it would be hard to lose the weight. But I buckled down and I did it for my baby, right? Like those are the 5 points. All right, so everything I knew about mothers and motherhood was those 5 bullet points. And none of them were happening for me. And none of the other things were happening for me. And I was happy with my baby. But I felt very, very, it was very stark. It felt like a stark. It just felt dark. And every time I looked at my baby, there was this love, and you know, and as he grew. He was your babies. I mean, it just grow every day. Every day, it's like, oh, it's a bigger baby. That's the bigger baby. Every single day. They're tiny, and then they're teenagers. Just like that. There's nothing in between, right? Like, I have this baby. It's because we were the same shoot, right? And I don't know how that happened. I just keep them. I'm like, you're okay, you're not my beard by baby. And I would look at him with his love and then just with drop. His sadness all the time. It was like it was just like, this is this persistent sadness that whispering to me. It was at the sadness was an actual thing, a presence that would just whisper like you know he deserves more. The team just deserves a better mom than you, because you're not up to this task. And you can't get up to this task. When you look at all the proof around you, that's telling that it's a fact. It's a fact. This is a certified fact. And there's nothing you can do about it. And how could you have done this to this little boy? How could you? I really appreciate you coming on this podcast to talk about this because so many people in your position are either unable or unwilling to share. And they suffer silently because they think it makes them bad parents bad moms. They think it makes them look weak or wounded or embarrasses their family and I want to say how much I respect how difficult this must be for you to talk about. Thank you. I also want to just give the caveat that I was never officially diagnosed, but that leads me to the next point, which is I didn't know until after the fact that postpartum depression was not just something that happened within the first, it was always told that it was the first to maybe 6 weeks. Postpartum. And it wasn't until my son was about four or 5. And I realized I read an article that they said, well, you know, there's updated guidance and actually postpartum depression can happen anytime from right after birth to about a year, year and a half. I was like, oh, that would have been helpful information to have had. Once I got past that 6 week period, there was no postpartum psychosis that my midwives and pediatrician look out for. You know, they give you the pamphlets, right? And it's very simple. It's very straightforward, and it's three questions. And if you don't answer those three questions within the affirmative everything else has been, you've just gotta glue your fine. And after 6 weeks, no one asks how you're doing anymore. The thing that my ear went straight to is you're like midwives, pediatricians, professionals. So you had like a team of people around you and yet it still reduced itself to a pamphlet with three questions. I mean, this is a pretty serious medical issue and you got the.
The Place To Be Free Podcast
"postpartum depression" Discussed on The Place To Be Free Podcast
"So this young woman, in particular, we're looking at what I could see and energetically was that she had grief. She actually had emotions of grief, stored in her pelvic area. And it shows me that it was related to her ancestors to her maternal mother, her grandmother, to that maternal side of her ancestors. So this is likely a pattern that is repeating from her mom, her grandma, her great grandma, when I talk about something, I don't see it being genetic. I see it being energetic. It's getting passed down from generation to generation as a fear as a coping mechanism. And the healing becomes that we're going to choose to not repeat the pattern and not repeat the same story. So there is a story running underneath the surface in her subconscious, unconscious mind, about feeling and being unwanted. I will put some links in the show notes to previous podcasts where I talk about this and I talk about the 5 steps that I take clients through for their healing and first is getting to the cause and so knowing this young woman and having worked with her before, there is still a pattern that is active in her. She's done a great job of healing when she first came to me. She was on a lot of medications and she had high, high anxiety, she honestly had postpartum depression. She was moderately suicidal. And I mean, she's healed and done tremendous work. But now here is this pattern that is still stuck. And you know, sometimes we have to recognize that there are layers to our healing. There are patterns that sometimes are so deeply buried. So she got through all of these other things now, this is coming up again for healing in a different area in a different way in the body. So the cystitis, the emotions are being constricted and this core cause of this grief in this ancestral pattern of feeling.
The Ready State
"postpartum depression" Discussed on The Ready State
"But that's what a. Dan and i didn't take it for granted being at the games this year because i really didn't think it was going to happen this year and i also had to learn how to i guess. I don't know the right word for part mental ice myself. A little like i did it every time this year at the games ahead to build in the morning my phone call with freya and i cry in mr mom and then i gave myself five minutes where i just let myself mr and then i took a few breaths and then i was like okay now. My role is a mom is in pause. And i'm going to become a competitor any and i put myself into that role while i was competing and then every evening i let myself become just now. I'm going to let myself vulnerable. And i am going to be frederick sco friend. And i'm gonna let him take care of me and i'm gonna talk about my emotions and let them out. So i kind of like felt like for the first time i was able to put myself into different roles and i was actually able to stick with them because i am so many different things and we all are so many so many different things and to become hunter. Percents like when you're competing you have to be able to distance it a little man. Yeah i mean. I really relate to that a lot as a mom and i've always worked since my kids were little and so i totally hear what you're saying there and i think you have to do it as a mom. I don't know how else you can get by. Yeah because i like miss freya. All the time. And i wanted to watch videos of all time in yes. It's really hard. It's really yes or no question for those people are not listening to understand. We're talking about the cross games which you are. One of the most successful cross for athletes in the history of cross. It really helped invent the sport. What's possible in the sport. You are a long time away as a new mother from your baby. How long were you away from fray up. Because i don't think people understand this sort of sacrifices that the couple others who were there specially from other countries it was real that you had to common core t. Tell us about that experience because you are away from your newborn daughter along time well i really pushed in southern go to the stays until i like pretty much less minute so i did my heat training in iceland and yeah. I posted this time and i didn't. I wasn't away for more than two weeks. But it was too way someone day that i was away from free and that's the first time that i went away from her if we pause. And if you're around a person who is apparently now phrase about a year old freya. Yeah she wasn't a year then now she's one year old into aches. Think about how many parents especially mothers have been away from their kids for two and a half weeks in the first year almost none in. That's crazy and i was really really frigging hard really hard so i post making the decision about going to the games and competing at the games until literally when we were leaving. And i told frederick on the plane. As like i might be going home tomorrow. You know that right. Like i. I might not. It's just may not work out. Yeah and he was like yes. I know that's okay. If we need to go home we go home. And then i just took it as one long weekends when one long weekend was gone. I took it as okay. We're going to be here a week. And then if i decide i'm not competing the games than we just go home and then the week had passed than it was like all right. We're already halfway there. Like i broke this up like a workout in my mind pretty much thankfully like freya was with my parents and my mom is really similar to me and free as really used to my mom like. We spent a lot of time with them because kobe like a lot of the summer house in freya knows them so well and i just told my mom like despoil her as much as you want to like ruined their team. If you have to you can hold her while she falls asleep like i had taught her davila sleep by herself. Like you to sing. Oncein will give the bottle sing a song and then leaving soon fell asleep on mike. Scratch it ruin it all. I don't care if she's crying despoiled. stroke her sing to her. Does maker feel good and my mom distant and it was amazing. And i could see that it was so happy got so many videos and called her day but i didn't expect to be legless as a mom but man. It was my head so hard. It's so much on this topic. You've been pretty vocal about how you have gone through some pretty serious postpartum depression. Yeah and i'm just wondering if you're willing to talk a little bit about that experience and how you realized you were experiencing postpartum depression. Anything you're willing to share. Because i think it's obviously so much more common. I was thankful to c. You post about it. I have a lot of friends who've gone through it. But i still don't think it's talked about that much. I think a lot of postpartum depression is missed. Yeah so. I just love to hear about Women's set this up for. I've known you for a long time. You're one of the best athletes in our world like. You're a complete athlete. You're total athlete. You're a total pro. Your partner is also a professional athlete on multiple sports right and you guys are a professional athlete family who knows your body..
"postpartum depression" Discussed on 1A
"Your village but you can and will get better. We've got just a couple of minutes left here. And i'd love to hear from each of you. What advice you have for. Those who have experienced will experience prenatal or postpartum depression but also the community around them. Dr diligent nita's i'll start with you. Yes i think starting with the community education understanding the difference between baby. Blues perinatal depression. When when should someone be concerned about the changes they see and either emotional Thinking or behavior in in the patient in the person And went to reach out how to reach out and and that there treatments there is hope. And so we've treatment most women do get better and are free from from perinatal depression. It can take time currently Accessing care there are still challenges with accessing. Care once women access care. Sometimes it's eight to twelve weeks before women can feel completely well And then they have to maintain that wellness with either medication or psychotherapy is and support services in the community. And so so yes. We have to focus on on The women during pregnancy and after delivery it takes a community identify Your support that's going to bring you through this critical period of life and so that everybody can reach out an advocate for women we want to empower women to take care of their health and Not believe that you should you know this level of suffering is needed. Yes there's going to be challenges but not the suffering. Sarah very briefly. What about you. I think that we really need to have a policy focus so thinking about paid family..
"postpartum depression" Discussed on 1A
"Hassoo joe knows that lockdown has been hard on us as humans we as people are hardwired to connect with others which is why this whole time is so difficult now. Let's get back to our conversation about perinatal in postpartum depression. Now dr geneva's you're the principal investigator behind this new medication designed to treat perinatal and postpartum depression. It's called ze an alone. How does it work yes so. This is a synthetic neuro active steroids. So it's a man made Neuro active steroid as i mentioned earlier in the program now. Active steroids are steroid. Hormones related to progesterone and these are naturally made by the brain and they rapidly protect the brain from the imaging effects of stress. And so that's sort of the rationale for for creating a therapeutic in this class and we have familiarity with this class of antidepressants because of our prior work with the sponsor. Sage therapeutics in clinical trials. That went for the fda approval of roxana loan back in twenty thousand nineteen. It's the only fda approved pharmacotherapy or antidepressant for postpartum depression. And so they're similar but different roxana loan is is identical to our bodies make for the neuro active steroid and saran alone is just slightly different chemically and that allows women to take early. They can take it by mouth over fourteen nights rather than come into a hospital like setting for a sixty hour infusion which is required for the current. Fta approved medication for postpartum depression. So you completed the face three trials earlier this summer. What are the results. Look like so far and are you close to approval. Yes so the. The results look strikingly similar to the current. Fda approved medication roxanne alone We saw again. Women were banned. Demised receive either placebo or a fourteen day course of Nightly zorana lung and The key outcome measure was if how women's depression were improved at day. Fifteen and then all the way out today forty five and what we found was that nearly half of the women ziv in saran alone were depression free at day. Fifteen compared to a quarter of women receiving placebo and that the antidepressant effects whereas seen as early as j. three and so the time course is a little bit delayed compared to brooke san alone which we saw these similar results at our sixty so in three days. That's how quickly we saw the depression. Free of half of the women here. We saw it at day. Fifteen after the fourteen day course so. That study is completed and published. And we're currently running an additional phase three clinical trial of saran alone at a slightly higher dose of fifty milligrams versus placebo. We're expected to finish up that clinical trial by the end of this year. And then as you know is customary. The data goes to be fda for consideration and they'll the company and us know if for the trouser needed or they'll consider it for medication approval for postpartum depression. In what about side effects from drug yes. So it was well tolerated. The main side effects were about four to fifteen percent of women. Just fourteen fifteen and they include tiredness headache some mild dizziness Diarrhea and nausea an upset stomach. And we're really just present during the course of the fourteen days and then you know it's just an acute corus and they don't continue to take medicine. Unlike a current depressant so the side effects were short lived. One of you tweeted. The conversation around postpartum health has been enlightening. But i wish. I'd heard more discussion around finding resources for and increasing access to affirming postpartum care especially for transgender non-conforming parents who've given birth and julia tweeted. Thank you for needed. Focus on perinatal mental health to add that not all burning people are women or mothers transgender non-conforming people's statistically face poor mental health outcomes and are typically ignored in the birth parent needle world. How are your guests working to support this. Underserved population dr promos. The screening is done for every post-partum patient and the support is provided as needed. So we take into consideration. Whatever their personal needs are and it's not in one size fits all and we take into consideration their identification as well is our culture as well as the language and literacy and so it is really critically important to to knowledge. That's i think that person who You brought that to our attention. And that's really important in terms of providing or that is needed around. Most there are striking racial disparities. In maternal mortality morbidity and infant health a non hispanic black people are more than three times more likely to die while pregnant or giving birth than white people in the us so when it comes to the health of patients during pregnancy and after delivery how do you factor in the issue of equity. I think the issue of equity really is important. Not only being able to access care being able to recognize as a provider that the statistics you just shared and perhaps spending a little bit more time and paying extra attention to the medical conditions that fella during pregnancy Oftentimes in you know it's not bad not what happens but we also have to remember that the opportunity to help address perinatal mental health issues and perhaps even Some of the medical complications that developed during pregnancy in women of color could be addressed in those postpartum visits. We're looking to see a different models are now developing that. We're having some of the pediatricians. Do the that depression screening for mom we know moms will go to that Pediatric visit but may not go to that postpartum visit so it really is and on all hands on deck intervention opportunity for providers. Anybody.
"postpartum depression" Discussed on 1A
"Hi i'm happy to join the conversation so we spoke backed spoke with you back in two thousand eighteen about postpartum health and you shared a lot of concern about the lack of awareness and education around perinatal and postpartum depression. In your view. How much has changed over the last few years well. I'm really excited. Because i think that we are at tipping point. We've had a lot more attention to maternal health. And i think that that's going to continue. These kinds of conversations are really important. We're seeing more conversations among women about being honest about their postpartum experience and In new medications like we're talking about stay are also really really hopeful. So i have faith that we are going to take care of this problem in really help. New moms in our country thrive so we can talk about treating and supporting someone with perinatal or postpartum depression. There's the disease itself. But there's all these other factors they're juggling including how much sleep they're getting their financial status. How soon after delivery they. They might have to go back to work. How are you teasing out all these issues when it comes to helping new families develop a care plan so some of the things that we are doing Through our new mom health dot com website and social media and in our conversations with providers. They're caring for new. Moms is one thing is to normalize that it is very challenging to be a new parent and that it is okay to ask for help as someone else had mentioned. You know. there's a lot of pressure with new moms away that we're supposed to present to the world on either that you know suffering is part of motherhood or we need to look a certain way actor certain way and be really happy and so we're trying to kind of change that conversation And talk about motherhood new parented as a time of both joy and also challenge. I think other things that are really important when it comes to patient and providers is that that we need to have trusting relationships and so it can be really scary to admit that you need help like one of your callers mentioned and so we need to have providers and partners and other people that make it easier To ask for help and to provide the kind of support that are needed a doctor. Romo's part of your work involves educating families and communities about perinatal and postpartum depression so that physicians aren't the only ones who can identify it or help those who are struggling. But how president is this issue of stigma in the communities. You work with or i. I work with a lot of hispanic asians as well as african american and and stigma as the issue in culture depending upon Your populations i can tell you specifically with the mexican american population it to have a mental quote unquote to Medical issue is is taboo and the population will not say. I have depression. They'll say i'm feeling a little nervous and it's important for us when we're trying to screen we're trying to help our patients that we recognize that there are many cultural issues in terms of being able to speak about the subject and to meet patients where they are and to use the terminology but using but more importantly to help them understand. That depression anxiety are really medical issues and that there is help and support available for them in the thing too is to provide the support and and help in the language that is of their preference whether it spanish whether sandrine arabic whatever the the languages is to be there for the patient at the level they are and the literacy level is also a big issue that important to take into consideration. What dr diligent as. I wonder if this is a culture how we normalized the idea. Being a new parent is supposed to be hard and granted. Yes they're going to be challenges with such a big change. But i think about how i heard people talk about the baby blues when i was growing up and it just made it. Sound like this normal thing and like it wasn't that bad all just got the baby blues. But how we normalize this idea that. There's going to be this this struggle. That's part of being a new parent. So the the the difference between baby blues perinatal depression is real important. One and i think that there are still great misunderstanding. by women and and providers to be on us about the differences and so yes baby blues is very common we believe it's very physiological occurs in about seventy even eighty percent of women who deliver newborns and the key thing is that all those sanctions should resolve within two weeks and so. I think there's this idea that sticks like oh we'll just the blues but then you know the. The mother is three months six months nine months postpartum. And they're still say it's just the blues it'll go away and so we know that after that to be period those symptoms are still there and they're impairing the mothers functioning we know that it's clinical depression and that for most women. It is not go away on its own. Many women will continue to suffer for at least a year up to three years as a recent article and the the pediatrics journal Done through research out of age. That showed that this is just not resolve on. Its own so it's really important to understand. I think as we educate that. Yes you can have these mood shifts within the first two weeks. That's normal but if it's more prolonged at if it's impairing your your functioning beyond that period of time that's when we really need to encourage and empower women to seek either a friend Their healthcare provider. Anyone that can advocate for them to Examine for diagnosis and for treatment. So you're right. Education is so critical as we try to change this culture of it being acceptable to understand what is normal and then when does it need treatment. Here's a question we got from chelsea. Who says is the rate of post-partum perinatal depression higher or lower than countries in countries. That have better postnatal care or give women and families time off of work to care for their new babies. Dr anita's is that a question. You can answer yes absolutely so there are lower rates In countries that have more supportive post needle programs. That's around the women with support and they're actually some cultures in the world where this seemingly doesn't really we don't see it To the levels that we see in in other nations so there definitely is a cultural component. And i think a big piece of that is you know The support there are communities. Where where the whole The whole community takes care of the new mother and that's part of their culture and we see very low rates of perennial depression in those communities. where we find In perhaps more industrialized that with fewer supports that we have higher rates but then there's also economic and social economic concerns even across the country In the us rates go anywhere from eight percent to about twenty five percent and they really vary by state and county with states depending on. How much support women have. Well the takes me to this question from sarah who says i'm thankful your guests mentioned poverty chronic stress in isolation. What public policy measures. Are they advocating for to help..
"postpartum depression" Discussed on 1A
"Can make the brain network susceptible to developing depression and not communicating neuro. Steroids are steroid. Hormones related to progesterone so as you know hormone levels are high in pregnancy and then dropped very rapidly after delivery and those those neuro steroids are really critical for protecting the brain for the damaging effects of stress and so for women who develop perinatal depression which is a medical illness we understand that they have a higher sensitivity to stress during phases of hormone change and because of this impairment of their neuro steroid functioning and so either when the hormone levels are high or when they drop. The brain is not able to adapt to those changes and is unable to turn off the damaging effects of stress. And that is why. We're studying these interactive steroids as novel treatments for perinatal depression. Dr almost the american psychological association found that only a quarter of patients who screen positive proposed. Pardon depression care. What are some of the major barriers to treatment. Well oftentimes the various treatment are for still being diagnosed and we know depending upon where a woman is living that they may not be getting the prenatal care they the that would actually include a depression anxiety screening and so that diagnosis would be the first step and not being able to get the treatment. The other thing too is access to care. And perhaps there isn't the support that is needed to provide No the patient with the support for their perinatal mood ending zaidi disorders. So it really is important for family members to be aware to be alert some of the signs and symptoms of depression anxiety in pregnant moms and new moms so that they can be the ones to alert the patient. You know something's just not right. And perhaps being the one to call Their healthcare provider or an additional equipment for supporting diagnosis. Now according to the nih. It's not just the pregnant patient who can get postpartum. depression around. Ten percent of new partners also experienced postpartum depression. Dr w nita's how does that present itself of someone if they weren't actually pregnant and didn't give birth yes so the signs and symptoms are very similar. Just we believe that the trigger is quite different so the biological trigger of the hormones change in pregnancy and the way that they're Affecting the brain and affecting the women's ability to react to stress or modulate stress is is for a perinatal depression and the woman but postpartum depression in the meal is what we see as kaya trips and psychologists clinical depression and so clinical depression can occur during a major life shifts changes and certainly the transition to fatherhood is one of.
"postpartum depression" Discussed on 1A
"This is one a. I'm jen white and washington nearly one in seven people who give birth experienced postpartum depression. That's according to the american psychological association. Many of you told us you're part of that statistic. I was crying all the time i couldn't sleep. I was just so depressed. And because i was breastfeeding there. Were not many options for anti depressants. I felt like i didn't have any orage. Turn and it has such a horrible sigma that you're not a good mom or that don't child and not which was actually the opposite for me. I was totally in love with my child. I didn't realize i had postponed with depression. Despite the fact that i was having regular anxiety. Attacks and weeping twenty to thirty times a day. 'cause i thought from the media that postpartum depression you didn't back with your child or that you wanted to harm your child on my postpartum depression manifested in an opposite way where i was overly burs about. That probably wouldn't have right now. The fda has only approved one medication to treat depression that occurs during pregnancy or after delivery but new scientific breakthroughs could transform the landscape of treatment for an illness that still really talked about and sometimes misunderstood joining us now to talk about. It is dr christina delridge. Anita's she's the director of women's behavioral health at zucker hillside hospital in new york. She's also a professor of psychiatry and obstetrics and gynecology at hofstra university. Dr ellis welcome to one a. Thank you it's a pleasure to be with you and your listeners. Today also with us dr dianna ramos. She's an obgyn. And the co chair of the american college of and gynecology representing california. She's also the coach of the women's preventative services initiative. Dr ramos. welcome. Thank you so much for having me so i just want to start with some basics. Dr diligent nita's what do we mean when we say post-partum depression yeah. It's a great place to start because we're as a field moving to understand that postpartum depression is not just a postpartum event. That about half women develop depression during pregnancy. So we're shifting to the use of the phrase perinatal depression since women do develop either during pregnancy or soon after delivery as some of your callers didn't go women report severe sadness or loss of interest in pleasurable activities. They have significant guilt often about being not being good enough mother or partner very low energy poor concentration extreme anxiety that can also Have panic attacks your ability just feeling overwhelmed and anxious especially with the babies wellbeing and then there's a second women were it's very severe can have thoughts of of not wanting to live anymore dr ramos. Obgyn's like yourself in screen for depression during pregnancy. what does that screening tail does. Screening really is Using the tool of validation tool and depends upon whatever screening tool the obgyn or perinatal provider decides to use but one of the most common ones used as an edinburgh screening tool exit. Tenth question Screening tool is important to realize that it it takes about five minutes to complete but it's a screening tool so it's something that we use to help alert us that perhaps we need to spend more time and do more of a diagnostic follow up if the score higher. Is it possible to prevent perinatal or postpartum depression or is it just a matter of detecting treating it. Well promoting is the. We really don't know it's it's multi sectorial as to what can really cause of perinatal depression but if there are women who have already been diagnosed You know continuing to support and for women who are at risk identified the risk factors. That are in her life so that we can help. Support provide the support that will help prevent that development really is starting with the screening and then going from there doctor need is what are some of the factors that might increase the likelihood of depression during pregnancy or after delivery. Yeah there are several One of the greatest is a prior history of depression anxiety even prior to the pregnancy. So many women will report that they had a prior episode. Perhaps in high school or college or maybe with a prior birth Those that's a strongest risk factor but also perinatal loss with the previous pregnancy stressful life events. Low social support single motherhood and the list goes on there are numerous Risk factors many revolve around stress. stress factor so poverty Interpersonal stress Domestic violence and again history of depression anxiety dr almost during the pandemic. We've seen a huge surge anxiety and depression among the general public. What do we know about cases of prenatal or postpartum depression especially given how cut off people have been from support networks over the last year and a half. That's a great question and sadly you know it really has exposed the problem for disparities that we already knew existed and we're seeing a lot more women coming in pregnant and postpartum wore not necessarily having the support that they would have had prior to the pandemic so being able to get that support in sometimes. Moms are new. Parents are being isolated and that support is is not there so we know that the sperry exists. We know that is higher incidents of depression anxiety painless disorders in women of color and you know as previously described they oftentimes have the increased risk factors for depression anxiety. And so it's it's an opportunity for all of us to increase awareness and to perhaps reach out whether it's a virtual or a distance visit for for women who are for new moms dr diligent. Anita's i'm curious about the cause of postpartum depression or perinatal. Depression is it just the stress factors but or are there chemical things at work as well. Yeah the answer is actually both so. We know that depression results areas of the brain or brain networks are not able to communicate with each other properly and chronic stress can impair brain networks making them susceptible to depression. So we told you about all those risk factors. Those.
Women of the Military
"postpartum depression" Discussed on Women of the Military
Women of the Military
"postpartum depression" Discussed on Women of the Military
"That kind of verbiage was never Before now i never remember anybody talking about. Tdy's option at sue like mind boggling at so interesting. I know it's been very interesting for me. Interacting with the va with my current partner. Now because he's a navy vet and we both got out in two thousand ten and he is very masculine presenting and tall. He's six and for contrast. I'm five four so it's just funny like with the size difference. It's very exaggerated. And i present as very drowsiness shorthair. I don't wear dresses or anything. Like that because identifies not binary and it's so strange to me when we go to the. Va separately versus when we go to the va together. I'm treated so differently. Everyone assumes. I'm not a veteran. When i'm with him and it drives me crazy because even one time we were taking him for a procedure and the person at the door is doing kovin screenings and he takes one. Look at me after asking my partner. All these covered related questions and then he just strikes a line through all questions in scribbles at the top of the paper caregiver and hands me my slip like i can't possibly be carrying covet because i'm a caregiver like i'm not even worth his time because i've been labelled a caregiver and it was just like such a small thing but it was so indicative of how i was being written off because of how my gender was being perceived and it was like my blood. Was you go by yourself. You get a whole different experience. Absolutely no one assumes. I'm a caregiver there are like thank you for your service after. They asked me my questions and ask me for my first letter of my last name in my last four. It's entirely different. They assume i'm a veteran. If i'm there by myself but if i'm with him oh no i'm just a character is really interesting Stories where you can see both sides of it. 'cause that's like one of the cool things about being a military spouse. Indiana veteran is like. I remember what i was treated like on active duty and i was married the whole time so like nothing's changed but everything's changed and so it's interesting that you can go the by yourself and have this positive experience where like respected and people expect that you have served and then when you go with your spouse than they're like oh well she's a woman so she's the caregiver. It was particularly bad when we had to go to the. Va several times in a row for these procedures because they were sort of back to back and the waiting area for same day surgery was filled with nothing but women and so the first day i was like a women only environment like sometimes like sometimes. It doesn't bother me. But sometimes i'm just like man. I am more than just a caregiver and so it became the running joke like the next time. We had to go like okay. You're going to go do your thing. And i'm gonna go to estrogen purgatory lake where there's not even a tv and all we have is like a screen of like names of people in where they're at like surgery or post stop and he was like always a bad as like yes. It's it feels super weird. And just i think like there's a gender element of feeling like i don't fit in but like not being recognized as a trans person like who doesn't fit in and so people just assume you're comfortable with being the identity of justice caregiver and you know when you're a veteran like you have a lot of pride in your identity as a veteran and not being seen is really frustrating about that a lot i i've read some of it in so it's like having that happen at the. Va is just like come on but so much of it is not military culture so much as just gender interesting. How much changes happen within the past year in the different conversations were having and i think the world is changing and people i think part of it is like hearing stories. I think that stories is how we're gonna be able to change the world and opening the door. Through conversation i watched in the heights recently and i've never been exposed to new york culture of light the low income. I've only am. I don't even i mean. New york is pretty out there for me. But like i've never seen like an inner-city story so like it was so fascinating for me. See their stories in hear their stories. be able to understand some of the things that i've been hearing that i can't compute because it just doesn't fit into like my small town white girl growing up in america and then i see the story and i'm like i see what she's eiser saying now and i think that's a really good example like stories. Once you talk to someone you understand their story better but when we're just yelling at each other in like not listening it makes it really hard to understand absolutely having someone you are close enough to that you get there on. A story will change your life if they've walked different pass. I hear parents stories every day in my current work. Because i work with folks now who have like postpartum depression. Anxiety might practice focuses on parents or lgbtq folks. Which is what. I really really know and love and care about and i hear so many stories than unlike man i wish sometimes i could like get patients together and have them each other their stories because sometimes i feel like with mental health struggles. Everybody feels like they're the only one and the sad truth of it. Is that a lot of. It is just so so common. And it's not that we want normalize it. It's not normal to suffer but it happens to a lot of us and so when you come nuys. It with heavier quotes there. It makes people feel less alone and and there's power in that and feeling connected the. There's a lot of pain and feeling isolated. I did a recovery programme. Unlike one of the aspects of it was like we had a group meeting and then we we did women and men separately and we would talk for three minutes and it was like. Oh i have not alone. Oh i'm not crazy because you hear these stories and like it was like the soundtrack was in your head coming out of someone else's and i think you're so right and it makes sense. Why group therapy works so effectively. Because you're not alone. You don't feel so alone absolutely when you talked about like a recovery program was offset program or was it something else like through the was twelve step recovery program okay. I'm a huge huge fan of twelve step programs. Even if you're not a person who has an addiction or a problem with alcohol or other compulsive behaviors so so many people. I feel like can benefit especially from the alcoholics anonymous family groups. Alanon helps so many people and the beauty of kovic was that those groups became so easy to join like anonymously. You didn't have to drive anywhere. Your car wasn't going to be in front of this church. The certain time so the anonymity was like more guaranteed.
Women of the Military
"postpartum depression" Discussed on Women of the Military
"Her in her hairstyles amongst the ranks but she ended up being like hugli made fun of and there was a news article about it. Because the command sergeant major of the army ended up counseling her about the blue book and it was like a meme on the internet than i saw after it got now. It was very very bizarre because it was like years later in someone on facebook that i had served with like had it in like tag win. I can't believe like my former leadership is like an internet being and now looking back like i recognize that there are definitely elements of their racist undercurrents about like. We have a lot more discussion today. About what is professional hair for people and how women of color in particular have been targeted for certain how styles and being told it's not professional but you and i both know that the military is like the white man's world and so there was a lot of like pretending that there wasn't racism when i was in the army like they'd say things like oh but everybody's green and it's just such a like a privilege stance to just pretend that race doesn't exist like color. Blindness does not help army. I hope that's better now. But i can't speak to that personally. Yeah i think there's a lot of change going on in the military but it is a white man's military for sure and it's even like it goes even deeper of like personality traits that the military expects like if you're an introvert in your quiet is really hard to excel in the military and they leadership because those people who are extroverts in our loud get promoted see introvert nece as like a weakness and so i think it's it goes deeper than just like race but also like what like y. You have to be more assertive as a woman because they don't see like the traits that women bring as a strength. They don't see like being an introvert. Unlike watching unseen things as a strength they only see themselves at all the people who got promoted around them as strengthened so bills. This like culture of this one type of person is the only person who can lead effectively. And that's i think that's where like it's not just like a race issue. It's like it's so much deeper into the culture like the person and the personalities that they want to promote absolutely who gains power essentially because that's what leadership is it is literally more pay. It is literally authority. And so you know it's definitely intersectional. It's not just race. it's not just gender. it's the people who have more education when before they came in automatically above. and so. if you wanna get technical it's like the cheerier gi. It's like all the different ways we can be. Pressed are just like funneled into this system literally promoting or demoting people and it was just very very interesting how it was all executed episode. One forty five with daniela Young he's working on a book called uncultured and she was raised in a colt. And she compares the military to call in so many things that we talked about in. This interview just edited her episode. So it was like fresh in my mind tie into this interview it just dives even deeper into the culture and she has so much information. I can't wait for her book to come out. Because i just think it's gonna be fascinating to see everything she put together and i really loved the interview of like all the different aspects of military that we cover just like. We're covering here in. How like it's not just race. It goes so much deeper than that. It was really interesting for me to see how my military spouse was treated differently. Because i felt like he very much wanted to have friends because we had moved away from our families of origin and some of like like my road partner and a couple other people who lived on the same street as us on post were very warm welcoming but in general there is this sort of like strange elitist. Like if you're a man but you're not in a service in you're married to a service person like you must be masculine. You must not be good enough to be in our boys club and it was just so bizarre Because like a lot of times my command would give directives like your spouse has to come to this event and i was like my spouse is a civilian and he did not sign up to come to your party. So i'm you know his his not his parent and i'm not gonna telling what to do and that was very much met with a lot of resistance but it was also seen as like him not being good enough and not being part of it. When in reality most military spouses are women. And of course it would be strange to be like the one or two men out of an entire women if you feel like. That's not where you want to be. And so it was just such a such a strange amalgam of situations where gender was such a role. Yeah i just read an article in shared it on linked in about what. It's like to be a male military spouse in. It's talking about everything that you talk about. How the culture of people towards mel military spouses affects how women are treated in the military and like what can women be leaders when people look at mel military sauces and things like the same thing that you just said that. They're emasculated and that they're not doing the man's job or whatever and so. It's really interesting that you brought it up. Because that article. And i was really interesting. And how he shared his perspective of like what he's doing saw. Put that on the shouts. People wanna read it because it was really interesting. I feel like gender roles just aren't talked about and the military like the no one talks about that like they just assumed that the service does xyz in you know earns. The money in the spouse you know follows them around and takes care of the children. But it's so much more new us in that. I know i connected with some other women. From our veteran entrepreneur group who are military spouses who focus on supporting advocating formal spouses on one of them was talking about how spouses are involved in. I think it's jennifer pascal. Who is talking about it about how mill spouses are involved in transition activities like they're not always required to come to those seminars and i was like. Oh my goodness like that. Stuff is so important to know like how to navigate the. Va and services after the fact like because it's all coming at you so fast when you're going through transition assistance there's no way for one person remember. All of it is really interesting. Being a military spouse and being a veteran because the military does like they just assume that you're there on like oh i have a life to. They're like no. You doubt your job is to pick up the slack and your spouse is gonna work crazy hours in. They're going to travel a lot. You don't have a say but it's kind of funny because in the last like since calvin my husband just started traveling again and he came home and he asked music. Hey i might go. Wise is okay with you on us like why asking me like to have a choice and use like. Yeah the way that it's changing like. I actually have say like i can sit virtual from home or if i could travel is just so weird. 'cause i was like asking me this question like you've never asked me before you always come home into sorry i have to go. Tdy and and i think kovic really changed military because.
Women of the Military
"postpartum depression" Discussed on Women of the Military
"The whole life before i came here and i'm sitting next to you and it was like the the only people that i really connected with for like second career. People who were like in their forties or the military veterans. Those are the like the only people that i was like. Okay we understand each other. Have you heard of student veterans of america. I've heard of them. But i haven't read about them. What do they do know that they have like. Groups connect veterans in resources to provide to help people as in college in. I know they have a convention that people go to to connect i watch from the sidelines. Like i wish. I could be there. But i have to school after i got my degree before i went into the military so i haven't gone back school yet and i'm like i like school become a member because i think like what you said like you. Connect with other veterans Probably just stumbled on them by chance. And i think as va is trying to connect veterans purpose so that you have that community that you're looking for while you're going to school that's awesome because there was one guy that i knew who is a navy vet who is my buddy in nursing school. But he was the only one and it wasn't until i went to grad school that i started meeting a lot more vets and it was funny because i originally started grad school as midwifery student 'cause i was gonna focus on people having babies in their families sign. Met som- there. But when i started my psych program. That's where i ran into a lot of military vets because so many of them saw firsthand how untreated. Ptsd and substance use just like rex vets wives and the suicide problem with that is just staggering. So we would really connect when we were like. Oh you're vet here to come work in mental health to like. Hey join the club. There were several of us. Just in my cohort. wasn't but thirty people while that's really cool. I didn't get diagnosed with ptsd have trauma for my deployment. That i went on a eleven years ago. And i'm currently a meeting with a counselor in going through therapy for that. But she's been giving me a lot of resources on grounding. But i've been doing meditation for almost a year consistently and everything that she's sending me that i'm reading. I'm like oh yeah 'cause she's like you need to tell me which meditation you like. Which ones you don try them out this week. And i'm like i don't like this one but like i don't have to do it because i've done all because i'm doing meditation for so long and it's interesting 'cause like my last panic attack. I had. I knew where i was but i couldn't bring myself back and i haven't had one since i've started meditating and i think back to that situation i was like i was so close because i knew i wasn't in afghanistan but i my body felt and i think with the meditation. I could've like focused on my breath and like being grounded and so it's really interesting to go through therapy and then see how much the meditation on my own without therapy has really been helping me the past year. That's a message that vets need because a lot of us don't want help because there's the thought that if i need help i'm weak. You know there's a lot of things that you hear when you're active duty about what the va is like and what mental healthcare is like at the va. And it's not just stigma. It's like a lack of faith in the system. And i know that. Since i got out in twenty ten so much has changed from not just the military but the va and how the whole system works in how they guarantee you get care within a certain amount of time because i remember serving during doughnuts. Don't tell them. It was lifted like within a year of me separating and i ended up writing about it when i go back to school and i was like. This is such a thing that i have feelings about because i was almost like sour grapes like i was. I was a little bit bitter. It wasn't while i was in because there were some people in my unit who were openly gay. It just was kind of like ignored by leadership and then the rest of us felt like if we hadn't curried favour we couldn't be out because it would be used against us. It was like the favouritism among the queer folks in the unit and it just felt very selective and strange. Yeah that's really interesting. Because it was a favoritism like oh it's okay you can you can be open about who you are but then like the person standing next to you if they did the same thing then they'll be like oh we'll you're not supposed to tell me that so you're out that adds like a whole mother layer of don't ask don't tell absolutely we had such like enforcement. I feel like gender norms. That was really bizarre. I had another soldier my unit who cut her head cut her hair on in like a very like tight like she gave herself a male haircut. And she's on for it. And now i feel like you know. That's that's gender expression I don't know what it would be like an active duty nor me now. But i feel like things are different now. They've just overhauled their whole standards. This year air six seventy. I mean one of the big things was women wear ponytails braids but they also changed aspects of like the different type of haircuts that you can get because i tend to hold a youtube video about it and i was doing research and it was originally just focused on the air force. Changed in the army. Change came at the same time. i'm the arias. So many roles about women have their hair and like how strict it was. It was like you can only have a button and that's it and like it was really interesting. The more i dug into that i ended up. Doing this isn't overview of the changes because so many changes in our latest wanted to focus on the braids in ponytails but it was really interesting. I don't know if you remember this if you had done all that research about like herron dress codes Did you ever read about command. Sergeant major fool nori so she was the command sergeant major for the eight th military police brigade at fort leonard wood so she was like you know echelons above me But she was at my formation. Every morning that i was in and she had hairstyles that sort of changed her. Headgear sat and She was women of color. And she was really fierce. Like shoes. awesome a lot of ways. And i love that part of her but there was sort of a sense of like yes is definitely not adhering to six seventy dash one and there was a lot of like poking fun at.
Women of the Military
"postpartum depression" Discussed on Women of the Military
"That young there were so many. Eighteen year olds from like really rural areas. And i'm not from like a giant city by any stretch l'imagination. I'm from richmond virginia. But richmond's a bigger city with like eight hundred or so thousand people in it tends to be a little more liberal and so it was already kind of set up with a bit of a different background from a lot of the folks and had signed up to be military police officers. It was very jarring. When i got pregnant. How people started treating me differently. I even had one incident where there is a nco who like i was walking through a hallway was like attack that as i can't get you pregnant and i was like that's the grossest thing i can imagine someone just like saying passing like. Why do people think this is okay but it was just so like that sort of sexual harassment was so commonplace like there felt like there was no fighting it was in at the same time as you saw inner city. Yeah we were both like. Don't ask don't tell era. I think at that point light. I'd heard a lot of comments from especially other enlisted soldiers like you're not somebody's way like you've probably a lesbian like there was like sort of this very black and white view of female soldiers and at that point. I still wasn't connecting the idea of like. Oh i feel super confident and comfortable in this. Masculine environment Irish just lake. I'm a woman soldier. That's just what it is. And i ended up having my son and going on maternity leave. I had terrible postpartum depression and my first marriage ended up ending right after my maternity leave ended so i was like depressed and going through a divorce and trying to figure out like what that meant for a military career and i had some people who are really supportive but there were some female. Ceos incidentally who were like you're pretending all of this like you're just trying to get out of having to like go back to work. I had one actually accused me of pretending my divorce like that. My divorce wasn't real and it was just like who wants to get divorced seriously. Like my husband had moved back to virginia and it was just me with my baby trying to figure out like childcare. And i'll just never forget like. They told me they were sending me on a two week training exercise like basically a glorified camping trip. I was breastfeeding. And i was like. How am i gonna do this. There's no power. And the first day i was out there like i ended up having to send my son back to virginia to stay with my parents for two weeks and i just like horrified and unlike i guess i'm just gonna call my breast milk. Unlike figure it out. And that was actually when i found breastfeeding combat boots. I think it was somebody at the clinic on post. Who was like. This might be a thing that'll help you like. You're not alone. And thank god for my medic had an incredible medic in my unit who were pregnant same time. So we're kind of going through postpartum sometime. And i would hump sitting at the generator in the middle of the training. Exercise i plug in and cover myself with my poncho. And i want because i'm like i'm not gonna stop doing. This is how. I wanna feed my baby and obamacare had just been signed my right to do so as covered and i was very much like a matinee. Bre like we can. We can have this fight. I'm happy to fight it. And so eventually got my way but like i was having to come into your printer closets to punk when i got back to the office and stuff was ridiculous. In how old was your son when they sent you to the training. He was six months old like he just hit six months so i guess technically like it was okay. It wasn't like a tv. Y assignment is still the same post but it was like. I couldn't find anybody to take my six month old overnight for two weeks. There's no amount of money that's worth that amount of sleep deprivation like lesbian real digging zone else's six year old is is brutal. I came back from that training exercise. And i went and talked to my psychiatrist and she was like so. You can wait for your single parenting stuff to go through. But i really think that you're depressed enough to just take like a medical discharge. And i was like whatever will get me to my baby faster. I'll do it and ended up getting out. And i was like no one deserves to be treated like that. Both like how my birth went in the army hospital or how. I was treated with postpartum depression by my unit. Both of those sort of guided my career from there. Because originally i was like. I'm going to be a lifer like i love law enforcement before i really knew it. Law enforcement was going to be like for me as a woman and army. I just really like the idea of being like the first person on the scene when there was an emergency to help. So how long had you been in win. You discharged ripen in over two years but not much over two years on. I think i'd had my automatic to your promotion just like six months prior. Do you feel like the army. And they're not supporting you as a single mom was like one of the biggest Separating from your child when for training exercise for like deployment but like oh you need to be out on the field like instead of A lot of articles about how the military has to adapt and change. Because like when you serve they treated people like crap and now people like. I'm not joining or i'm not staying in because i'm tired of this crap like that was probably a big factor is if they had worked with you and supported you. Might you would've ellie save for your contract. I mean depending on how the depression was absolutely. I definitely think that just with my personal values. And how will i have the attention to detail like there were so many things about the army that resonated with me personally and i definitely felt like was on a track to do really well if it hadn't been for how all of that went down because from day one when i told my platoon. Certain as yanked for my. I wasn't allowed to do that again. And then as the clerk in my unit sars doing all the paperwork and just because of my attention to detail like i was good admin stuff so even after i was back from having my baby. Never let me be an mp again. They just kept me there and so like it felt like there was like no winning. You know i had people accusing me of not actually being divorced i people who were like rolling their eyes and saying exasperated lay. When i was like. Okay i gotta go pollen play. Okay now i gotta go through this in a freezer somewhere. I have people accusing me of like wanting to like the exposed in front of other soldiers. When i went to on by the generator and i was like. I have a pond show and this is not a sexual thing like this is not me. Just rolling around topless. That's not with. This is suggest felt like it was not a woman's world in any way but it was such a contrast because i felt like it was making me miserable and then i got out and i missed so much of it and i know that's like a universal experience for so many vets is like they're always going to be parts of it. That drive you crazy. But then when you don't have that like innate understanding and that share cultural values and and things like that it's like what's wrong with people like you go back in the civilian world and like this is so weird and i had the the double culture shock of going from the army which was like such a male dominated environment to nursing. School it was like all women and here. I was twenty two single mom veteran. Who used to be a cop. Ny the other people in nursing school were like straight out of high school had never gotten a be and i was like i feel like.
Women of the Military
"postpartum depression" Discussed on Women of the Military
"Women on the military women of the military. Podcasts would like to thank sabio. Coding bootcamp for sponsoring. This week's episode savia coating boot camp is a top ranked coding bootcamp that is one hundred percent dedicated to helping smart and highly motivated individuals become exceptional software. Engineers visit their website at www dot sa a. dot l. a. to learn how you may be able to use your gi bill benefits to train at savia. You're jewish in and monthly stipend may be paid during your training period. They are also one hundred percent committed in helping. You find your first job in tech. So don't forget to head over to. Www dot sabio dot l. a. to learn more and now let's get started with this week's interview. Welcome to the show rachel. I'm so excited to have you here. Thank you amanda. I actually go by featherstone. it's my last name. It's a bit of my my military heritage Or something like that but it's also really androgynous. I prefer it off as a non winery individual. Because it's more tetrahedral. I'm sorry about that. No no problem at all so. I'm really excited that we finally connected 'cause you know my weightless for quite a long time. Yeah i think it's been over a year and a half. Yes it's the way things work out. Why did you decide to join the military. So it's kind of a funny story. I was a really smart kid. Growing up. And i love school. And i definitely identified with sort of like a geeky nerdy sort of subculture but when i went from high school to college i was just not prepared like i was not mature in the ways that i needed to be to succeed as an independent adult and i was working as an mt like for an ambulance service and i loved it but i dropped out of school. I just wasn't really ready to hell may education and pay my bills and it was great but it wasn't really like financially putting me in the best spot so i was waiting tables as well and i actually worked for. This is so funny for people. Who've known me. I was working as waitress and i am just not what people stereotypically think of as someone who would be successful but i think because i different from a lot of the other women i worked with just sort of a Humor and didn't really bend over backwards to please people or appealing and i think it was just so different. It was great in terms of money and it was fun. I got talked to people but eventually got really tired of being disrespected. And i just got the point. Both in my mt career and in my waitressing job that i was like i am so done with not being respected. I'm gonna go get a job. Where i'm gonna kick ass and take names and no one's gonna boston your own anymore. I want authority. And so i had like this catastrophically terrible valentine's day and it was like four in the afternoon and a recruiter. Cold call me. And i was like you have no idea how good your timing as i said. I've already taken the as nap. And i basically maxed it out. And i know exactly what job i want and i won't find out for anything else and he's like you really want to be. Mp and it became forgo like this running joke. at the recruiter's office. Where i love. And i think from the day i talked to him to the day i laughed. It wasn't even two weeks like it was very expedited i was like. I'm done with richmond. Done with school like I'm just ready to walk away from my life here. In so i shipped out in february of two thousand eight and i went to boot camp and i just loved it. It was like summer camp on steroids. And i never been that fit in my life at always kind of felt like awkward kid like i always felt like. Oh i don't really fit in. It's probably because i'm queer. It's probably because at that point. My life identified as bisexual honors like. It's just because like. I'm always looking at some of my girlfriends like oh i really wanted to like kiss. You not just like raise your hair and so is this funny like push pull but when i got into the army and it was like you know everybody wears the same clothes and the culture is much more. Like masculine focused like femininity. Just kind of got pushed off the side. That wasn't really something they dealt with. So i felt like i fit in a way. That didn't really happen for me. You know in high school in growing up that ugly duckling face and i didn't really identify it as a part of my gender. I was just like oh. I like it here. I feel good here. I fit and i hadn't had four. Which was something in hindsight. I should have paid more attention to. But i ended up getting married to a guy that i dated back home and got pregnant and had really uneventful pregnancy. Really healthy a little bit unexpected. Because i was so fit. I wasn't really having periods and so we were like trying for a while not successful sore. Like maybe i'll like deploy and come back and maybe all like put on weight and it'll maybe it'll happen that but then of course when you stop trying to a happens do my day job like the day my unit found out. I was pregnant. The yanked me off the road. So i lost my road partner. Who was sort of like my job. Best friend and i was taken out of my platoon and put in headquarters. So i was like not only last like my best but i was moved to were a whole bunch of people that didn't know me in a totally different job. I felt like it was being punished for being pregnant. And i was so frustrated because i was like no one even knows that i'm pregnant. Like acting different. My body doesn't even look differently. Is like four and a half pregnant like just miss my period. And then they like vanish me to a back room to file papers in helena. You being in the military when you're pregnant. It was pretty soon into my i g station on sarah's like six months into my my contract and hold the view i just turned twenty one. I was young. And i'm always someone who's looked really young. And so like. I think it. It helped like being in a job. Doing you know being military police officer. 'cause i worked on really sleepy. Little base overall. I was in fort. Leonard wood missouri. Not a whole lot going on there. There's like a walmart and lowe's and a couple of chain restaurants but like on post it's a lot of like hunting and fishing areas like they shut down some of the shooting ranges seasonally for hunting and fishing because they're so wildlife like there's a lot of square miles to that base but not necessarily a lot of people to give you context like the film super troopers had just out very recently when i had gotten and so there is a lot of shenanigans in lower. Enlisted stuff like saying silly things on the radio occasionally in my unit was brand new with a lotta. Mos cue for people. Who don't that means is people who've transitioned from one job to another and so it sometimes felt like the blind leading fine. 'cause we had sergeants and people in leadership positions who'd never been a military police officer before so starting at this new unit was just like who's very disorienting. Lotta people fresh out of boot camp. Who were just sort of not used to the discipline aspect yet so even though i was only twenty one i felt like i was much more adult than a lot of my peers but like two years is a lot. When you're.
TIME's Top Stories
"postpartum depression" Discussed on TIME's Top Stories
"Brought to you. By macy's a new postpartum depression drug could lead to a revolution intriguing. Women's mental health issues by tara law about one in seven women who give birth in the us experienced postpartum depression a condition that can leave them exhausted. Make it difficult for them. to bond. with their babies and even generate thoughts of suicide left untreated the condition can become chronic and interfere with the development of suffering mother's babies it also takes toll society at large untreated. Maternal mental health conditions cost the us more than fourteen billion dollars a year according to a two thousand nineteen study from mathematica. A social policy research firm. Despite this many women struggling with postpartum depression do not receive any treatment and the current standard of care antidepressants in psychotherapy can be time. Consuming and inaccessible for many mothers with newborns and do not always eliminate women's symptoms so far the us food and drug administration. The fda has approved only a single drug brexit alone specifically to treat postpartum depression but since it was approved in two thousand nineteen it hasn't been made widely available. Furthermore rixon alone can only be administered in a limited number of healthcare facilities and patients must sometimes travel to receive it but on june thirtieth researchers published promising phase three results from another postpartum depression medication currently in development called zorana loan which promises to be easier to access than the existing drug moreover the science underlying the two medications both of which are developed by sage therapeutics a cambridge massachusetts based biotechnology firm may yield promising new treatments for mental health issues related to the hormonal shifts. That can occur over the course of a woman's life in the new study a double blind clinical trial involving one hundred fifty one adult women with postpartum depression published in jama. Psychiatry researchers found that those taking the drug experienced a statistically significant reduction in depression symptoms in order to participate in the study each potential participant needed to score at least twenty six on the hamilton depression rating scale which is widely used to assess depression to establish.
Women's Health By Heather Hirsch
How To Work Through Pregnancy And Menopause.
"Hi and welcome to help each other hurt a podcast dedicated to uncovering many of the women's health issues many of us are wondering about but few of us are talking about my mission is to expose the current gaps in knowledge and Care on all things Women's Health. Enjoy. Welcome back to the show. So today's episode is going to be all about pregnancy and how conditions may may have affected your pregnancy can come back to play a role in perimenopause and menopause. So you may think these two are completely unrelated and I am here to let you know. There's actually some really interesting themes that we may be able to gleam from our pregnancy that we can use when we look forward to or as we're entering into perimenopause and menopause. Before we get into that let's hear a word from our sponsor from Pharma. Thank you so much for sponsoring. Today's episode film Pharma is a woman's health care company the focuses on putting women first off then Farm was established to help women who are often forgotten about the pharmaceutical industry their products address vaginal and Volvo dryness itching and pain. We're always told how important it is to moisturize our face, but our intimate areas just as important many women have trouble talking about dryness with their doctors and do not know where to turn them far. My mom is here for you. This company feels women should feel comfortable making intimate skin hydration a part of their daily skincare routine try their products today for relief from vaginal and Volvo, dryness wage and pain check them out at fem pharma.com. That's, you are not going to be disappointed. All right, so here comes a fun job. Moment of Truth one of the reasons I wanted to do this episode today is because I am expecting and I've been hiding this fact for a pretty long time. I am in my third trimester and so far pregnancy has gone just fine. I'm not one of those people who really enjoys being a pregnant. I know many women who do simply not one of them. So I have been trying to hide it and I guess that's my way of not focusing so much on it. Thankfully. I'm lucky to be pretty healthy during this pregnancy. And this will be my third child is a surprise. We don't know yet if it's going to be a boy or a girl so it'd be really fun if you want to stick around and see I'm due in early June and not anything like my last baby. This baby might be a little early. So if there is a little break in podcast episodes, it's probably because I just had a baby now you also log I love working and I love what I do is I'll probably be back pretty quickly. And at this point I've gotten really efficient at getting podcast episode out to you. So I wanted to let you know because I do not feel like I was being honest hiding this any longer and I am really excited but it really led me to think about let's talk about how pregnancy relates to. Pause and menopause now. I just said I'm one of those people who loves being pregnant. That's mostly because I'm uncomfortable a lot. However, I have been really blessed to have healthy pregnancies, but every single pregnancy can be thought of as a stress test. So do you know what a stress test is if you don't we typically think about cardiovascular stress tests where they put the little leads you and you have to walk or run on the treadmill and they're looking at the EKG to see when you're under stress what happens to your body and this is gleaming information about future cardiovascular or current call log. Vascular risks that you may have and pregnancy is a very similar. It's a, you know, forty weeks stress test to see when we put your body under a little bit of stress or conditions that arise that may play a role in your health as we go down the line and we're starting to clean so much more information about what we can take from our state and as pregnant women into our health as we go forward, for example, if you had gestational diabetes or gestational hypertension preeclampsia, a preterm birth postpartum depression off or any of these other complications, and I'm going to talk to you about what all those could mean and we're still Gathering a lot of this data. So more and more is to come now what you've never had a baby or you haven't had a pregnancy in your lifetime. I think this episode will still be really interesting because we're learning so much about maternal health and female birth. Factors that are completely independent or different from the traditional and I'm saying those are question. You can't see me risk factors, which is based on the mail system. So thinking about these is also really interesting as well as if you have a friend or a daughter or a niece who's going to be pregnant. This is such a really interesting information to know about first. I'm going to walk you through some soft findings and soft findings means. This is just what I see clinically and I don't really know how it's going to go on to apply but one of the things that I do see a very common basis is women who have had a postpartum depression seemed to have an increased risk for either pmdd, which is severe PMS or mood symptoms in perimenopause and into
Side Hustle School
Childrens Librarian Builds Bra Business
"Alison alexander. Saw problem took it upon herself to find a solution in two thousand fifteen. She started doing cross stitch quickly became passionate athlete. She continued to workout. Her body began to change and then came the problem. She was more muscular than she was before and her sports bras didn't fit right. She tried shopping for new ones. But the options available on the market didn't fit. Well either. She was also bothered by the fact that muscular women weren't often showcased at she didn't feel seen allison wanted to change that for both her and women who look like her muscular and strong. That's why she started. Kfi t fitness apparel brand geared toward female strength athletes to launch the business alison turn toward another brand. She had tried to start in two thousand ten back then. She was in the midst of battling postpartum depression and needed something to focus on so she sold some of her daughter's old clothes that she was outgrowing. It took off quickly. She called it. Kids fly to in two thousand. Thirteen allison took her online success and open to boutique and ever she says now was a huge mistake. She quit her job to run the store and soon realize she hated it. Kids fly to faltered after that she went back to work two years later with the bones of a business already in place she built. Kfi notice there of the initials come from the kids clothing line. Kids fly to when pivoting from business that no longer work for her. Allison who also works fulltime as at children's librarian to take the part she did enjoy and explore new ways of doing it for example one store that already offered sports bras was lou limit. It's an incredibly popular brand allison. Says she felt it catered to thinner women. She bought a bra from them and began some online research searching to find a manufacturer she connected with a few of them and had samples eight samples of bras designed to fit women with muscular backs when she became wearing the samples to the gym. Several other women ask about them. Seeing this interest you decide to invest in several colors. One style of bra and watch a jim listed a photographer. Who was hoping to start a portfolio and we'd take product photos for free. Then she created a shabat by sight and chose ship station to manage everything associated with shipping. And by the way. Thank you ship station. They are also our partner of the show but they have nothing to do with editorial so it's just always fun to hear when they're actually helping one of our case studies alison connected with local cross. Fit women who competed at elite levels the local athletes and introduced her to cross women who are nationally recognized. She even had whole teams of women order custom process to wear at large cross bit events that were well photographed and that resulted in organic marketing per calf. Now let's talk about start up. Costs low. start up. Costs alison salts personal items for two hundred dollars. She then use that money to buy sell and trade her way up to two thousand dollars which then invested in her first set of inventory was able to keep costs so low because she kept that first collection of inventory small and shopped around for the best most cost efficient manufacturer currently kfc averages a profit of five thousand to seven thousand dollars a month. Alison markets are products primarily on instagram and an active email list. She's used paid ads only a few times and prefers instead to identify influencers. She now has an ambassador team of more than one hundred women to market products. She says micro influencers those with a good amount of followers but not a very large amount. She says they've been a big key to her. Success and to never underestimate someone's value based on the number of followers as kfc has grown allison added to the types of year. She offers she noticed that the business attracts different types of women. Now some of whom don't do cross fit currently offers tank top shorts leggings and more. She tends to stick to basic styles offering them in different colors and prints which she believes encourages repeat buyers these repeat buyers or where the magic happens because it takes a lot less effort to retain customers to acquire them. Once she has a customer she can email them to show off new products. Subtly prompting them to order again a big deal in a crowded online space. She knows that she has customers who bought during her first product launch. Who still shop with her today. Looking to the future alison plans to wrap up her graduate degree in leadership which aids both kfc and the coaching business. She recently started. That's focused on working with other women who have us women like her. Who saw problem and set out to solve it
20 Minute Fitness
Infant Sleep With Dr. Harvey Karp
"Everyone. It's martin straight from san francisco today. I'm connected with dr hallway Holly why don't you introduce yourself to our listeners. Shirt thanks martin. so i'm a pediatrician. Practicing in los angeles at practice for many many years out here. And then i'm also an author. I've written a couple of weeks about babies and toddlers and guides to help parents. I'm very happy they've been translated now into about thirty languages. So it's it's helping parents all around the world and then most recently a few years ago created a new type of a baby bed. That's a responsive or robotic baby bed. That improves sleep. Keeps baby safer. Something called snoop awesome well before we dive into this new. And it's all about maybe you can explain what really build the foundation also for your book and what i really the core issues towards you know incense first couple of months. Yeah you bet. so as a pediatrician. I observed that parents were struggling. You know especially these days. Parents don't have a lot of outside help. They may not have extended family around and so crying and exhaustion. Were really weighing on them a lot. And in fact when you look at the numbers. I mean you think crying babies. You think well i mean. It's a nuisance. But i mean how bad is it really but crying. Babies and exhausted parents cost our economies billions of dollars in terms of marital distress postpartum depression. Anxiety car accidents obesity. 'cause you're overeating chris. You're tired and not exercising child abuse neglect the too many visits to the doctor and billions of dollars more in terms of employer cost because of poor productivity and poor retention. You have to recruit people higher errors and accidents and even higher healthcare costs. And so this has been a struggle that has increased over recent years as parents. Are you know have less and less experienced taking care of babies and our way from their extended family and so as a pediatrician. I started observing. That believes could become d-. I mean everybody's known. This that by rockingham attrition them and cuddling them. That's something that comes babies down but no one had figured out. Why or. how do you do that. Predictably so that even very fussy babies can become down and so what. I came to realize that babies are born with a reflects which is kind of an off switch for crying in an on which for sleep called a calming reflex and a babies. Have lots of reflexes are born with you. Know things like swallowing and sucking and blinking and crying. Even that is built into a baby so they have those abilities which are required of them to be able to survive right. a baby. Who didn't know had a swallow wouldn't be able to survive so these are survival skills that are kind of built in software into the computer but what wasn't realized that they have an off switch for crying and an on switch for sleep as well That's a reflex. So when i realized that it kind of opened up the idea about the fourth trimester i of course babies in utero of before. They're born there three three trimesters as the baby develops in. Then they're born but our babies kind of a weird way. They're not really ready to be. In the world they're mushy. They can't even smile yet. Based lift their heads. they're really fetuses. But we have to give birth to them because their heads are so gigged otherwise they wouldn't fit out right and so the job of a new parent is really to imitate the womb for the first four or five months of the baby's life.
The Essential Oil Revolution
How to Use Crystals & EOs Together
"I'm here with Haley Crowley who's the founder of whimsy and wellness? Haley. Believes in making wellness, simple, lighthearted and fun four years ago. She began making these really beautiful essential oil labels as a way to distract yourself from wondering when she would get pregnant again, armed with a silhouette cameo machine and a roll of vinyl. Haley sold the first whimsey and wellness products out of a tiny oetzi shop since. then. She's grown into a full family business with three kiddos running circles around her desk. Haley, on a mission to help people use crystals and essential oils in their every day life and make it fun in the process. Haley. Welcome to the show or so glad you're here. Thank you so much for having me I. Love Envisioning Your Kids just certainly on your on your desk because I have to myself. Just today we were packing up, you know mailers, sit out and just chilling out, help me stuff envelopes and it's fun to have a family business and it's also very chaotic. So I imagine you use some oils now and then to keep it calm. Yeah that's exactly right I. mean they're helping with like air quotes helping it really. Twenty Times longer but it's good they feel so important. Yes. Well. You said that you started making your beautiful pretty labels to distract yourself from wondering when you wouldn't get pregnant again is that part of your story tell me more about that yeah. So I started using oils actually as a way to like sent Christmas gifts like the that I was making I wanted to find a natural way to sent them, and so that's what started. Me With oils and then fast forward a couple of years. It was after our second miscarriage and I was like, I need something to do. I was in between jobs at the time and so I was like I'm GonNa. Just start this little at seaside thing to give me something to do and maybe bring a little bit of income like on the side for our family. And after a couple of months because we were one of the first essential accessory shops, it just took off and it just kept growing and growing and I kept working and it kept growing was that that was in two, thousand sixteen. So. Been Four Years Yeah and my husband now works fulltime with me and it's just getting more than I ever imagined. That's awesome. Well, this is not the topic of our interview today I want to get to crystals and oils soon, but I couldn't help it just pick up on the fact that you were using your side hustle a little bit as a therapy. You know let me need to distract myself I need to do something I just relate to that so much when I became a mom I really struggled with postpartum depression and doesn't that transition into parenthood was like a huge shock for me and along can of worms and long story we won't. Get into. But when I started, it was partly the reason besides from just sheer financial need that I started my business and it made me feel so much better. It made me feel like I'm pouring myself into something. It's mine. It's an outlet gifts. Me Gets me talking to other people it just really saved me away. So just related to that that aspect for she absolutely, and just what you said, I talk about that too like I felt like Lynsey wellness gave me purpose kind of like what you said like it gives me purpose and at the time I didn't think I was GONNA. Feel that until you know I, had a baby or babies but. With us it's crazy. It's almost the opposite, but it says such similar feelings. It's really interesting. It's funny. How per I? Mean we I think we are capable of having multiple purposes in one lifetime and even. More than one at the same time and sometimes that's what I need. I need more than one thing happening or I go crazy. So. Yes. Well, how did you start using crystals and essential oils together? Yes. So after I had seen wellness, we started with bottles and labels and. I was looking at product. I don't know what I was looking at but somehow I stumbled across these premade perfume blends and I saw on them. They had the roller top instead of it being like glass or stainless steel. It was made out of a gemstone a crystal and I was like, that's so cool like I want that for my customers who I know don't want to buy the perfume, they put their own oils in it. So I searched and searched and searched for so long five or six months to find a supplier. For these to offer them and it was so hard to find one without a little hole in it because all the stones at that size were spacey right and so I finally found a supplier and was hand making those on my couch watching TV at nighttime and everybody loved them. So I went to Tucson is the world's largest gem and mineral show that they hold once a year. I went there in search of a supplier that could make these for me because I couldn't do it myself anymore. And I didn't find that. But instead, I saw these giant piles of tiny crystals. And I was like those would fit inside of a roller bottle right and I had seen other people do that again in their own blends house like I wonder if people would like that as an option to and so I had no idea if people were actually going to like it but I was like well, I have to get something while I'm here I came all the way here. So I bought them and carried them in my carry on backpack and got stopped at security. But I think they're used to it because the gem show, but it was just so funny I'm like anyway. When? Oil Convention you know all TSA agents are like Oh yeah. There must be another oil convention that's. Smelt. Exactly yeah. They're used to it with the crystal show and so anyway fast forward to now everybody really loved that and just along the way I started of course learning more and more about crystals and just kind of doing my own research I feel like when I started this, there wasn't a ton of research like information out there about using oils and crystals together. So I felt like I just kind of research from a Bunch of different places in kind of put together my own I own research, my
Therapy for Black Girls
A Not So Happy Ending
"Joining me for another week. Debriefing is my friend and colleague Dr Donna Oreo. Will who is an author in? Speaker and certified sex and relationship therapist in the Washington DC metro area. She's the owner of a nod. Right especially is in working with black women on issues related to color ISM in texture ISM ended impact on mental and sexual health. She's also the author of cocoa butter in hair, grease, a self love journey through hair and skin. This week. She and I chatted about what happened between Molly and Andrew. Tiffany struggles with postpartum depression, and how we might support friends who are struggling. The giant reveal from canola. WHAT'S NEXT FOR EASTBOUND LAWRENCE? And what? We might expect from season five. This episode does include spoilers. Here's our conversation. So we are back. So we've come so far down this road. Do this. We. If you like it took a long time here and also was way too quick. Absolutely you know I mean I. think that we should give another petition going. Maybe we can a forty minute episode I'm just saying okay. With unconventional does a half hour I mean we just just has to be hopeful that we can get an season within the knicks, so so gets cold the Akron and They just don't have to act via zoom. We get all a whole. Noon version of insecurity. So, the title of this week's episode is low key laws, and I feel like that is a great description of how they knew we would all be feeling at the end of this episode. I was just like man lost in two senses. We need all out here, just law. Is. Over the place, so we see it opens up this. This episode opens up with Molly and Andrew. He added a work ethic. Right they a work events. Molly's work event and he has tagged along, and so having conversations, and somebody approaches them about like an after hours spot right, and so it's clear that Andrew is now really interested in going, but Mollie convinced him like okay I'll make it a work thing for you to have them play some of your artist or something like that right so I feel like this was a continuation of what we saw last week. Right like some cracks. In the foundation of the relationship. I'm just saying that predictions made then they happened Okay? Tell me how you fail. But it also seems like he just went along with it right like He. You know he didn't really want to go, but then she kinda convinced him, and then he went along with it. Yeah Yeah. I felt like he was a little bit more resistant to it this time around he was just like. You could tell that he was just is sort of deflated him a little bit He's making that. Sound like all right. I'm Gonna I'm giving you this thing, but I feel it. I feel that I'm giving you this thing and. It was not as obvious exactly. He made it very obvious that he was not happy about making this concession this time and Yeah. Yeah, well, we see very shortly after right that there is a continuation, so they've gone to this after work. Thing I, mean now they give back to the apartment and they want to watch the Pinelli of looking for little you is. We have avoided all those boilers and he's like okay. We finally home. We can watch this because now. We're not on your time. We can do it now and she doesn't want to watch it because she's so tired I feel like this was clearly like the last Straw. You know like there was no more straws to be given that day at all and I. It's funny to me because they got going back to the previous episode with the Block Party and just how it's. Just that that's base of like, are you? Are you here? Are you paying attention to what's going on like? Are you here with me in this moment? Because it doesn't feel like you're here like you're seeing like you're able to take in what is right here right now. She wasn't taking in that he was not like. He's like home on like even like before the block party when she was telling Isa I'm not I'm not asking him to do nothing because I was like all right look, you know she on some shaky grounds. You gotta put in deposits before you can make withdrawal and she didn't recognize that she had no withdrawal power in that moment.
Postpartum in a Pandemic
"So I want to start with your pregnancy I'm wondering given your knowledge and your profession as a Dula when you're pregnant with soula. What were some of the things that you're doing to advocate for yourself and prepare for the postpartum time. I think that I was concerned about possibly getting postpartum depression just because I do have a history of depression and I had to get off of my antidepressant when I was pregnant. Because it wasn't safe for the baby and I was just looking for whatever type of body type therapy alternatives that I could find so acupuncture was really helpful for that and then I also Was in therapy with two different therapists by felt like I worked really hard and my pregnancy to ensure that I had the mental health support that I felt like I needed And Not a part of that was going on a second part of that. Was Me heavily planning the postpartum time in order to prevent not that you can prevent postpartum depression but in my brain in order to prevent it from happening? I'm heavy planner and I'm like if I plan everything and organize everything and get support that I need and I'm not like isolated by myself in those early weeks than you know things are GonNa go better and so Yeah I was and so am very concerned about mental health in this postpartum time. And what else did you know about postpartum mood and anxiety disorders going in? I feel like people a little bit like no about postpartum depression but I feel like the broader public doesn't necessarily have all the knowledge about the different ways that that can look. Well I think one thing too is definitely left out of the discussion is postpartum anxiety. I everybody instantly goes for depression. But a lot of people have postpartum anxiety and it presents and like so many different ways that there's not even like one like by the rule book they can look because everybody's anxiety shows up differently and I feel like postpartum anxiety is harder to pinpoint because as a new parent. You're already so anxious. A lot of the things that it says like the book say about postpartum anxiety about like watching the baby when the Baby Sleeps. And like you think the telling bad. It's going to happen to the baby and all that like that's just being a new parent in general so it's really hard to lockdown when that becomes more excessive so feeling that goes under diagnosed and Under reported a lot and a lot of people don't get support around because people don't know what's normal and what's not so. I felt lake as much information as I knew about postpartum depression. I was not prepared for postpartum anxiety as much as I should have been and I feel like that has been what has like cut more into play then. The depression Yeah so and I know you had your own Dula. Ns what were some of the things that Dula was helping you do My postpartum duly came to my baby shower and basically pasta out a notebook to everybody so that they could sign up for jobs for postpartum and at first. I didn't WanNa do it because I just felt like. I didn't WanNa like ask my friends that bluntly to be like hey can you? Guys take my trout and dishes but Actually had several friends after the baby shower. That were like that was so cool that year. Postpartum Dula did that. And they're like I always wanNA like support friends. That have a baby but I never know what to do. I also like this idea of asking people to show up in this time because this is not meant to be done alone and even for people who are single and are people who choose to be single parents or whatever like it's you're never supposed to like parent alone. They're supposed to be a community aspect to all of this. Yeah definitely definitely and so you know you come home from the hospital. It's an February beginning of March. Were still a couple of weeks away from the CDC announcing that there's a pandemic and so what was that first week at home like the first week was like everything that I have planned with my Dulas. It was Me being fed and people bringing me drinks and you know. Stang over to help with the baby and my postpartum do alike. Massaging my body. Because I was so swollen from the birth and it felt amazing that basically like I pulled off Lake. It actually worked. They actually showed up and I'm really grateful for that. Everybody was kind of like on a schedule of like who could do what when and who do overnight and stuff and it was really nice for like a week and a half to have that and to have them coming over in helping me get a break and Just like Lebanon us and everything and then this corona Situation hit and yet kind of all went out the window. She felt prepared to be a single mom. But not like this after about a week of being homeless soula. The governor of New York City put a stay at home order in place and all the people that were supposed to show up. Couldn't come anymore. We're stuck in isolation and that's not something. I would really wish on anybody that was in the immediate stages of postpartum or really just in parenthood in general It sucks. I don't even know how to describe it because it's like the exact opposite of what is needed during this time So many people were ready and willing to show up. It is nice that we have that support system and that when this is over we will still have that to rely on people. Were jumping on soon. Calls like nonstop and like doing like zoom hang outs and all these like zoom events. And I'm just like where was this energy before when you know we were all so busy with our lives constantly and so I like do like that. We've been told to slow down and like forced to talk to each other. I do hope that after this whole thing is over or whatever life looks like when it's over. I hope that like people continue to show up with the same energy and like really show up for each other
The Psych Central Show
Postpartum Psychosis Warning Signs
"We're going to discuss postpartum psychosis and you were drawn to the specialty after you yourself went through postpartum depression postpartum anxiety and postpartum. Ocd after the birth of your first child or act yeah. There's a lot of things again. Happen in the postpartum period. I'm here to talk about one of the more severe conditions in the interest of full disclosure. I'm a forty three year old male. I've never been pregnant and I do not have children. I'm really really entry level. When it comes to understanding what post-partum anything is so thank you so much for helping to educate people like myself. It really is an important topic. It's absolutely important and a lot of people have that same feeling. I don't know anything about it. It seems like this weird thing that happens to other people and chances. Are you know somebody who has suffered through some form of perinatal mental health condition? Even if they don't talk about it which is very common a lot of people. Don't talk about it because there's so much shame around kind of not feeling well or not feeling yourself even during pregnancy and postpartum. There's all these ideas out there that it's this wonderful magical time and hopefully it is but for a lot of people in and that's one of the things that came up while I was trying to do research for the show so that I could talk somewhat on this subject. I was shocked at how many times I googled. Postpartum psychosis or postpartum anything and the articles. That came up. Were M I a bad mother M I abide parent. Am I harming my child? That really Kinda spoke to me like in a visceral way. This idea that you also have the illness. And there's all this stigma and shame surrounding it. Is that what you found working as a therapist? Oh absolutely hear comments. All of the time I feel like a bad mom. I'm not good enough for my child. Feeling Shame and the blame and confusion around. Why do I even feel bad? We are just not educated on what can happen. I think it's a great disservice to everybody who goes through any kind of perinatal mental health condition. Because they're mostly blindsided by it right. You like here supposed to be having the best time of my life. This is what my body is supposed to quote unquote and here. I am feeling like a failure and just to be clear. None of this is true. You are an excellent parent. This is just sort of the illness. And societies misunderstanding of the illness. Taking hold in an unexpected way over. Sorry this is a very treatable and very temporary condition if you get the right help and if you get it as soon as you know even if you're getting a little bit later down the road you still can feel better. And there's not a huge impact throughout the life course of you or your child however again in the more severe cases are not treated. There are some long term effects and I know that might sound really scary to people so I wanted to sell the myth that if you have a condition you're going to be like messing up your kid in some way like I said this is very treatable and also when it was very very severe there can be really life threatening consequences. So let's talk about postpartum psychosis. What is the definition of postpartum psychosis typically oppose artem? Psychosis isn't very rare Wanted to out of every thousand delivery and it is not postpartum. Depression or postpartum. Means -iety the onset of these symptoms are usually in the first two weeks but certainly can show up a little bit later. There's a really rapid onset. Meaning symptoms start quickly and it is characterized by the mind is kind of going off on. Its own in part because of hormonal changes in part because of your mental health history and in part because of sleep deprivation so people who are if postpartum psychosis are having rapid mood swings they are potentially having delusion or strange beliefs about themselves or their child or people around them they may be having hallucinations feeling very very irritated. The difficulty to sleep inability to sleep sometimes paranoia And what's really hard about postpartum psychosis is that the symptoms waxed and waned. Meaning they come and go so sometimes people can sort of the feel like themselves and appear to be like our normal cells and then sometimes people around them might observe that they don't look like themselves are sound like themselves so it can come and go for quite a few people and then for some people that symptoms on the onset is. They're just continue. So I know all that probably sounds pretty scary and Syria and it actually is pretty scary. And the're Like I said before. It's very rare and people who have a history of bipolar disorder are at high risk or if there's bipolar disorder in the family. They're at higher risk. Oftentimes psychosis in the postpartum is an indictment bipolar disorder. So let's talk about that for a moment. I myself live with bipolar disorder. And I understand psychosis from a lived experience because I I have experienced. Psychosis is it. The same is postpartum psychosis and for lack of a better phrase Gabe Howard's psychosis. Is this a similar thing or is it completely different? There's certainly familiarity in terms of symptoms of psychosis are the same. What what's very different here. Is that there is a new baby involved. And sometimes they delusions or hallucinations are in relation. To the new child is new very vulnerable child and also the perinatal person also very vulnerable. They've just given birth of had massive changes in hormone both during pregnancy at delivery and then in the Postpartum. They're really really rapid and kind of swings in the in the hormone during that time and sleep deprivation. Is You know when it's sort of like just you quote unquote. You have capacity to possibly sleep. In these cases there's Abadie involved and babies cry and they wake people up And that's what they do and that's what they're supposed to do But for somebody who needs sleep and isn't getting it and can't get it a whole other layer of complexity into into the life and into the simpsons because you're in relation to a baby a while having psychosis for some time that means that. There's like a hyper vigilant around the baby. Like it's really hard to not be around them or to let anyone else support them or sometimes it's like a kind of a total disregard like people in some psychoses. They will kind of forget the baby there so it brings this whole other level of danger and complexity also then. There's additional layer. That people around them are thinking. Oh well she's kind of baby. She's not quite herself or giving some other explanation for odd behaviors or strange behaviors. And it Kinda put people in a more of a dangerous situation because symptoms are explained away because they're not understood and it's not expected that these kind of symptoms will show up. I'm kind of assuming that the way that postpartum psychosis has played out in the media as well as How motherhood is played out in the media those two things combined because like you said we want to defend new parents. We don't just want every new mom under the bus and say oh well. You have a serious mental illness. That's the problem but of course this can be dangerous because it lacks care. I suppose my specific question is how is Postpartum? Psychosis played out in popular culture. It actually in very dangerous ways so in ways that further stigmatize apparently period. So mostly what we're seeing in the media while you see on. The news is postpartum psychosis that has led to infanticide. And this is a really really hard topic for people to hear about and also. This is a very real possibility with postpartum psychosis. I know that one to two percent of people who have term psychosis four to five percent of those mothers will kill their children. They killed their baby. It's really a hard reality to hear. And what I want people to know. Is that when this happened? Women are not in their right mind at all. They are not themselves. Do not know what they're doing. They're often being told by their delusion to do something. Sometimes there are delusions that the baby is possessed. So they can't be here although this might not make any sense but most of the time it's really out of love a lot of love like the world is too harsh for the child so they have to go and misses a very severe departure from reality. The Mon- who are in the situation do not know what they have done if they come out of it and get the medication that they need. They can't even thousand. What has happened people thinking say? Oh what a horrible person. I can't believe she done this. I would never do this to my child. And the thing is is that if she were in her right mind she wouldn't either. So what we're seeing in the media is usually the mob who have done something like this and who are being handcuffed or going on trial so there's most severe. This is the most of your consequences of perinatal. Mental Health Condition Postpartum Psychosis in infanticide. Is How postpartum psychosis is viewed. Most people are postpartum psychosis are experiencing hallucinations or delusions or some kind of waxing and waning symptom. That does not reach that level. Typically they may need hospitalization and medication. But it's not always the people who go on to have their children in this way.
'I Played A Season Of The WNBA Secretly Pregnant'
"So Alexis tell us about Schuyler digging Smith the player Skyward Digging. Smith is phenomenal biggest. She has obviously the ability to score in score. Well but she is a great facilitator a true floor. General did first of all so not only can she make shots for herself and score really well on her own but she also is very good at finding her teammates and making sure they have opportunities and what she like as a person. I tried a lot of different sports. Basketball was the one that kind of stuck with me. Something does drove me and continue to drive me. I wanted to be the best very vocal. Very passionate very young. I guess and fresh you can see that through her through endorsements and her the workout kind and one two and three and four contracts relief contract threatening. That's right this is ridiculous Schuyler Digging Smith but not as ridiculous as an outdated sports drink and then on social media just her vocalness she was very vocal about. Wnba athletes getting equal pay. Don't act like you don't see the discrepancy. You know adult. Don't make me feel like I'm crazy. This is not new as far as not getting paid and she actually sat out last season after giving birth to her son and while she was out she was pretty vocal about her unhappiness with how her team the Dallas Wings handled her becoming a new mom. Can you walk us through that drama? So during the two thousand nineteen season that Skyler was sitting out. After having a baby she took to twitter and expressed how she was unhappy with the organization and didn't feel. They supported her through her pregnancy. She wrote people. Call me a quitter. Said I gave up on my team. Not Knowing took two full months away from everything because the postpartum depression with limited sources to help me be successful mentally and physically but just wait though keep that same energy continue. I've played the entire season pregnant last year. All Star in the league top three to five in MPG. Didn't tell a soul. Wow it was very eye opening for all of us and really the catalyst who okay. She is going to step away from this organization eventually right so that lack of support leads her to request a trade from the wings. Yes where she was going to go was obviously a mystery and with that she got interest from multiple teams the Phoenix Mercury. Being one of them. And when did we first start to hear that the mercury were serious about Landing Skyler Diggins? The mercury are a pretty good at keeping things. You Know Fairly Hush Hush I think rumors were swirling that it could be a potential landing spot but really it didn't start until WNBA free agency opened up on February tenth. Lots of signings lots of trades. Lots of deals happen the very first day but then on the second day the Phoenix Mercury sent one of their all-stars to WanNa Bonner to the Connecticut Sun in exchange for two top ten twenty twenty draft picks and a twenty twenty one first round draft pick and that kind of sets the rumors ablaze of. What are they going to do with that? Who are they going to get? And that's when Schuyler is name really started popping up in association with the Mercury the Dewana trade happened on the eleventh and twenty four hours after It was announced that Skyler would come to Phoenix. And tell us about this mercury team that Skyler diggins joining you have arguably the best player in the world in Diana Teresi Rossi barrels luxury back in front or Ossius. Twenty-five she's fiery on and off the court. She's opinionated. She will tell it like it is when she has the ball in her hands. She is controlling every aspect of the game and making sure that the ball gets where it needs to be a Rossi fodder for the Finnish dish from Diana Toronto and the chemistry that you see her build with her teammates in practice and in Games when she is playing is second to none and Brittany griner at center One of the most dominant athletes on the court favorite thing is blocking Williams workings rider system. She holds the WNBA record in blocks in a single game and single season so definitely a lot of all stars around Schuyler. The mercury are clearly already stacked but despite that they've had a couple of really disappointing years last season. Diana GERACI was injured and the team lost during the first round of the playoffs. Chicago sky around two decisive victory over Phoenix seventy six. The final teams will often start thinking about a rebuild after underperforming like this or when injuries catch up with marquee players was that ever a thought in Phoenix. Not a rebuild but a kind of re strategize a focus on getting healthy a focus on Dan atrocity getting back one hundred percent. Britney griner toward the end of the season was dealing with injuries. I think a big thing for the mercury knowing that Diana Tracy is thirty seven years old and likely at the tail end of her career that it was important to make one big last tidal run. But I think part of getting all those draft picks for Dewana and setting the stage for this blockbuster trade was really to put the team in a great position to contend for a title with Dan Atrocity. And what's what's Phoenix hoping to get out of Schuyler now that she's on the team. I talked with head coach. Sandy Brunello after the Schuyler deal was done and she said that there was going to be a focus on being a lot more physical more playmaking ability and that is something that skyler definitely brings to the table. We're not very Closest Diane Army to will to win passion for the game. But she's white fire Panel the bone she create obviously is a real tough defender with Schuyler. Here are some of the decision. Making some of the ball handling will also fall into Schuyler slap and knowing that Schuyler signed a multi year deal and that Diana is looking toward the end of her career. I think it would ultimately be a good transition to start building the team out instead of the team solely focusing on one star player. And why does this trade makes sense from Schuyler perspective? I think it places Schuyler. In a great position to play alongside A player like dance Rossi to play alongside Brittany griner but also with the team culture. The mercury have kind of the best family planning and Family Facility is in the league. I think they're building a new practice facility state of the art but they also have a quote unquote family room. They have a lot of MOMS on the team. The coaches have kids and it really is a family atmosphere so I think looking at what? Schuyler went through it made sense for her to land with the mercury knowing. There's these all-stars knowing they prioritize family knowing that she won't have to hopefully worry about some of the things she dealt with in
Babes and Babies
Overcoming PPD and Being Mindful with Terra LaRock
"I have Tara Iraq here and I'm so excited that she's here. She is a friend and it just an amazing human and her heart is one of the big parts of anyone I've ever met. And she had said something to longtime ago and it was about nurturing moms and then I think that that's something that's often forgotten and she is a mindfulness expert. I would call her an expert a self. She has a self care guide. She is the founder of the mindful Mama's. She's a psychologist a postpartum depression survivor. Wife and a mother and I am so glad that she's here. Thank you for coming on Tara off. Thanks for having me I am just looking at your beautiful glowing believe that I have the honor of being in your presence. That was such a sweet ended up in your son is I so I was thinking before we hopped on how your name. Tarallo rock is such a grounded name. Yeah tear means like Earth and then it's Iraq and it's like wow. That's such a grounded name which I feel like describes you as a person. Yes Oh my name. When I was born my mom said she took one look at me and knew I was going to be this. Just little free spirit with a little with a little feisty and I think that's what mother earth is right so grounding so beautiful but then has these moments where it can show up and show up in big ways so I think I feel super lucky to have my name and then when I met my husband and I knew his last name of rock not only did I think he was like the most beautiful man but I was like we are dust into last name is just incredible and I want my kids to have that name so thank you. You're welcome So I would love for you. I guess to start from wherever you'd like in your story because used to work as a psychologist and went on this incredible journey with motherhood that kind of changed your purpose in life in your direction and I would love for you to kind of share that story with us absolutely so I have a background in child family and school psychologist and I worked largely in the public sector in public schools serving a refugee community and I loved it. I loved working with kids. I loved working with the Family Unit. It just was such a good fit for me but when I became a mom I had a really hard time separating out the trauma of the families I was working with and then my own trauma my own struggles that I was going through with becoming a mom For Me Postpartum. Depression is a really big part of my story. But it's also one of the biggest gifts that I've ever received in my life too because it really woke me up to allowing myself to go deep and to think about what you know my purpose in this world and while I love working as a child family and school psychologist I felt like there was this bigger need or for MOMS. I felt like mom. Were being forgotten somehow and we were wrapping our our support around the caves and trying to fix the kids but not really focusing on. Will you know it starts first with the parents and then it trickles down from there and so when I experienced postpartum depression with my first going back to work it was kind of just this. It was a perfect disaster in a sense where I was not able to st the signs and the symptoms of my own suffering while I was treating other people for the same things for anxiety for depression for stress for for trauma There was a lot of shame and that being a mental health provider and not even really being able to identify a that. I was suffering and be I didn't know where to go to ask for help or if I could ask for help because I thought that being a psychologist meant that I needed to be almost Above it if that makes sense almost Kind of immune to it which is such a a night even in you know really privileged way of thinking but that was that was my truth. I had a lot of shame like if I can't even help myself. How am I going to help anybody else though? Yeah that was. That was the start for me. It was really dark. Dark beginning of motherhood I loved my baby but I had intrusive and unwanted thought so I had postpartum depression coupled with OCD. Which a lot of people don't really talk about that you think of his Kind of these outward behaviors where you see people counting washing their hands and while that is a part of it my my obsessions or my compulsions. To try to stop the unwanted thoughts were really internal so it was something that nobody could see. I would beg God to take the awful thoughts away. I would try to distract myself with song I would avoid being alone or Having the the room or the house quiet I just couldn't be with myself and in my thoughts and that coupled along with the stressful work environment it was. It was hard. It was really hard
20 Minute Fitness
20 Minutes with Suzan Galluzzo
"We have a special guest Susan on the show. Thank you very much for giving us your time to talk to us today. If you could start off by telling us about yourself and how you got into the health and fitness game. That would be amazing. Thank you okay. So I'm super happy to be here. I love love love talking to anyone who will listen about health fitness nutrition. So thank you for having me okay. So I've always always Kinda into fitness. You know growing up. I realized much later in life. That fitness had saved me a few different times in my life without actually realizing Tila. My older years. Like in my teens. It saved me from being this insecure. Not so confident teenager in my twenties same thing it helped me found my passion and then later on when I got married and had my first child and fell into some postpartum depression. It saved me once again so it was around then after my first child. I decided that I was going to compete in a fitness show. And just for fun just to get myself. I was bored lonely depressed and I thought you know for. Give me something to focus on. I love being busy. I love fitness. I thought I'll just casually compete in the fitness show and from then. I realized that I learned this incredible information that I felt all women men needed to be privy to not just the bodybuilding world and. I thought why is this only four bodybuilders. Like there's such a holistic way about doing a transformation that should be shared with everyone. So that's what inspired me to get into fitness. And usually what is under? Your nose is what you were meant to be doing and you know so many times. They told me and I'm like no. I'm an accountant and I was in counted for seven years. And you can't make that much money and you know be purposeful teaching fitness. But you know when you're so passionate about something. The Universe is very good to you so from there. I opened by first studio. I was nine months pregnant with a one and a half year old and I opened by her studio ten Yod. It was eight and a half years ago. Most very busy period view obviously dealing with us in the business. Mostly shooter is goes well which is always outgoing. Like still passionate about my own olds his great to hear one thing. I did read that. You'd mentioned before is that. Obviously you're someone who has our family job clients to deal with and quite often people put others needs before themselves. So you talk about. It is important to prioritize ourselves. Sometimes so wolf advice. Would you give to people thought about doing this? What most people end up doing? Is they wait till they hit rock bottom to realize that. Oh my God I've been putting myself on the back burner. And that's when a lot of men and women come to me is when they get a diabetes scare or. They're in so out of shape that their doctor said you have to lose the weight. You have to do something about your health. But it's you know rat. Don't be reactive about your health. Just because things seem okay. We have to realize that you know it's twenty twenty exercises for all and it's mandatory mandatory it not a choice anymore. You have to be taking care of yourself to in order to live a fulfilling and a fulfilling lifestyle until our old age like why are we in wheelchairs at sixty seven years old. No we need to extend our life an extra ten twenty years. You know few of children. It should be a priority regardless with or without children is a priority so realizing changing your mindset when it comes to thin this and realizing that it's not a one trick pony. It's not just a only to lose weight to go on the beach. It's the lifestyle and it's it's for everyone and everybody needs needs to be a mandatory part of lifestyle. I'm trying to get it to be more attention to it. In our school years. You know teaching children the importance of how a fitness routine and getting into the lifestyle early in your life so that it will help you when the going gets tough when that stressful times when you know men and women are having families. It's like we need fitness health to be a part of our lifestyle exactly on. I think it would be very beneficial as well to give children a young age abroad exposure. To all the different types of things you can do obviously. There's numerous different sports a sport for everyone. There's obviously athletics fitness classes. And the so much and there will definitely be something that someone gets excited about and forget. It's actually doing fitness. And they'll see his something they love doing. Yeah I truly believe that especially with kids. It's like we need them to realize that you're just because you you're not that sports kid and you didn't make it on the team. It doesn't mean fitness is not for you exactly exactly. I think that would be very very beneficial indeed successor. How would you that however you raised your children to understand that health and fitness is such a key or as you said mandatory part of our life that will help us later in life while you know seeing is doing right. Monkey see monkey do. If you're not doing it and practicing the lifestyle like how can you tell your children that this is something? That is mandatory. It's going to help them. So because we are both me and my husband are very active. They see that they see that their entire life since they were bored. So that's their normal right a lot of times. They see parents that they don't take care of their own health and fitness and nutrition but they want their children to eat broccoli and go to soccer. It's like no it's gotta be a whole family approach so of course the kids and then also the importance of prioritizing right. Yes school matters and your studies. But it's like we try to take a well rounded approach with our kids that fitness and education. And you know mental health is a big one for us to the all these things matter and all these things need attention to not one gets more attention than the other. Everything needs attention because the end of the day were such complicated human beings that we we need to give attention to all these different elements that make us who we are and yeah it gives them an opportunity to explore like. Maybe they're not the sports kid on the team but maybe they excel in. You know something else. That's fitness related Doesn't it's the agree completely that you can't ready press others to pursue a certain lifestyle if you're not living it yourself save costs definitely true and I'm sure you found you. Continue to find because health and fitness is such a massive part of your life. This will actually help you. Continuously play with your children and getting bowled their lives as you feel you feel too out of shape to fit to to really grew up on play with them and see that a lot in my business. I see a lot of parents. You know that are struggling with their hell and are overweight or tired or exhausted. And they can't even play with their kids or herb. Take them on skis they. They're missing out on things that they could be doing with their their kids. Like you know. We live in Canada so ski trips and tobogganing and just being active in even going to an amusement park and being able to walk that long like I see I see it a lot in my business that when the parents failed to take care of themselves they actually the kids miss out. So what advice would you give to someone? Then pinches listening to this or because it's obviously going into the new year has just started the new year unless they wanted to start to finish any. What can they do to really initiate this process? I mean the one. The big thing is deciding. Decide and commit deciding that your your goals have to be big enough to excite you so you need a reason right. Think of what is your biggest reason for a lot of people. Should their biggest reasons should be that they want to live a long healthy life and for themselves they don't WanNa be pushed in a wheelchair to prematurely. So can give yourself really sit and think about a vision and a reason. That's my first step. I do with all my members. Then the second step is okay. What is going to close the gap from where I am now to where I wanna be and brainstorm. What do you think it's going to take? And then look at that list and pick twenty percent because twenty percent of our actions are responsible for eighty percent of our results till view. And when you know when push comes to shove and your schedules Outta whack just simply performing that twenty percent. So if it's like the twenty percent would to me would be you know signing up for program and showing up three to four times a week just simple sub getting my ten thousand steps a day. That's something that I start. Most people off with start with just being more active in your day to day. So that's and that's simple steps like just parking further going for a little walk at night you know so but it has to be well thought out and planned. New Year's resolutions are wishlist. And they don't happen unless we take massive action plans exactly exactly so on the reverse from then someone who has always had potentially help him to be a big positive life but they've recently gone off. The rails had a few weeks of with come back from an injury on period. How can people bounce buck mindset? I and I see that all its. That's an amazing question. I see that happen all the time. It's like oh I'm not that person not the person that's never started but I fall in or I had a setback and I see it happen all the time and then yeah and then and then you know what they're barest to come. Backer discouraged all used to be able do this now. I can't but it's like just do you have to go back. You will be a much better position if you go back slowly that NOCCO back at all and so it's changing that mindset that and we're not we're getting older right so I tell my members like listen. You're going to do the same things that you did even with me five years ago and that's okay. We adjusted but it's still we make it a lifestyle so like just get back into it after an injury. There's always you know I've seen him in. They'll have a knee injury. But that's that shouldn't stop you from. I always say. Can you get up in a car and start it yes? I can't well then you could do. Upper Body you can do. There's always something you can do But it's changing the mindset and being okay with being a little bit different exactly as you said that it was so that you can do my grandmother whose Clinton is that. She just started because I told her about how. Low impact resistance trading can actually help. She's having some issues and she's just doing some very light exercises on its cons of goodwill that's amazing and she's eighty exactly exactly something always to do. Even you know you're in a wheelchair like there are people out there with really significant limitation. That are doing it so you know an injury or any. I truly believe unless you're bedridden. You can work around most injuries or setbacks or binge period like just get back on. That's the best thing you can do is forget about what happened in. Just get back to it because lease so. She's making fun of them. How do we keep these behaviors took house? We made them more sustainable. So they're not just going to be temporary periods. They actually all be a complete. A sustainable lifestyle change so rituals and habits so we operate forty five percent of what we do is on the daily habits that we have embedded break getting up going to work so you have to create a new list of habits and routines and rituals. That you're gonNA stick to perform and and you you know some for some people. They need an accountability coach. And that's like so for example in my online program. I provide a lot of accountability in that. They have to submit photos every Monday. Soak that creates a habit and they have to other things after they have to do a meal. Prep twice a week and show me photos once they. They've developed that habit long enough which takes twenty one days. It then goes into a ninety day lifestyle so you have to be prepared to commit to. That's a hundred ten days of rituals and then it becomes lifestyle. But you need to commit to making those habits into
Babes and Babies
Sleep & Parenting with Therapist Christine Lawler
"Right. Everyone have Christie lawler here. And she is the peaceful sleeper. She's a marriage and family therapist and asleep specialist. She's passionate about helping MOMS feel more empowered in parenting and a huge part of that is getting some rest and I would argue just a huge part of feeling empowered in your life in general is getting some good rest so thank you so much for being here Kristie. I'm so excited for what you have to say in offer everyone listening listening so thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited yes so I'd love for you. I guess to kind of tell us in your own words. What exactly you do and how you got into to it? Yeah so I'm marriage and family therapists have been doing this for ten years. And even before I had babies I was realizing all the time that my clients that were the most stuck the ones that were the most depressed the most anxious the most annoyed with their spouses where it felt like nothing was really shifting. Those were the clients that had the biggest sleep problems and as an insomnia sufferer myself and a perfectionist. I hated that my answer would like. Oh yes sleep is hard Let's talk about the the real stuff and so I went ahead and I got trained to treat chronic insomnia and that's where I learned not surprisingly but kind of surprisingly that eighty eighty percent of people with mental health problems have underlying sleep issues. Wow which is so huge and I realize like oh my gosh. The key to mental health and wellbeing is getting good sleep and then fast forward. I had babies of my own and struggled with postpartum depression. But I knew ooh that it was because I was sleep deprived and then anyway fast forward. I delve into everything that could about sleep training. I kind of hated it as a therapist and like I said as perfectionist. I hated it that so many of the books in resources were very mom shaming. I felt like everything was very like fear. Fear driven. Like if you don't do it this way then you're crafty parent and then somebody else's like no no you don't do it this way. Then you're a crappy parent and I was like I wanna be a really good parent and I don't know how to do it but I know that I need sleep and I know that my baby needs sleep and so I kind of figured out my own method blending in all of them together and then I had another baby and it worked again and I was helping my friend sleep train. Their babies and I kind of realized like wait. Maybe I'm onto something that I can be voice in the space. That says sleep is really really really important. I research detachment for years. That's another thing that kind of drove me. Nuts is so many people were like fostering unhealthy sleep habits and the name of good attachment which just wasn't correct. I feel like a lot of moms now with all the resources versus. We have an all this stuff on the Internet. We can get really overwhelmed and kind of go into a rabbit hole of mom shame and fear and so anyway I just. I don't know I kind of realized that I wanted my voice in the space to help. MOMS feel empowered and really restore the the magic of motherhood. That comes when everybody is resting. Well 'cause like like that. I battled with postpartum depression and being tired tired and exhausted and looking at my sweet perfect little baby but not feeling that magic feeling guilty about it and I realized like the magic totally totally came back when I had good sleep
Therapy for Black Girls
Healing After An Abortion
"Today's session is centered on another topic requested by several community members. And that's how to heal after an abortion. We know Oh this is a decision that can be very difficult to make and one that can be made for many different reasons in the aftermath can be one. That's very complicated to weed through true to offer her tips for healing and insight about how she works with clients in this space. We're joined today by Kisha Wills Kiesha is licensed professional counselor impera. NATO mental health specialists practicing in Columbus Georgia as the owner of transformation counseling services. She helps women navigate the mini transitions of womanhood and Motherhood Specifically Kisha maintains a passion to support women who have endured life altering experiences experiences such as pregnancy and infant loss in postpartum depression anxiety. Kisha help our clients develop their voice and identify indentify in grief and loss as well as have hope and be empowered. She recently published her first book from three heartbeats to one AH gentle companion hope in grieving pregnancy and infant loss he shannon. I chatted about some of the common experiences. Women may struggle with after an abortion. Learn how to support a friend who's had an abortion. How support systems may change afterwards and she shares her favourite resources for anyone wanting additional personal support or information? If you hear anything while listening that resonates with you and you'd like to share please share with us on social media using the Hashtag AAC. TV G in session. Here's our conversation you so much for doing Kisha. Thank you so much for having me on. Yeah I'm happy that you were able to join us today. Because I know that your specialty is in working with women specifically around Grief Impera Neto laws in net Kennedy and so this has been a topic that has been heavily requested by members of our community is healing. Taking care of yourself after an abortion. so I wanted to start kisha by hearing like what are some of the things that you find our you know previous clients or people that you heard come in struggling struggling with after an abortion so in the aftermath of person may struggle with grief emotional distress which includes depression depression feelings of regret loneliness feelings of sadness and loss particularly with loss. That could look Michael Loss of identity a loss of self esteem even the loss of a partner or lost a friendship and ultimately a loss of what lies and parenting could have have been like with the trial a lot of times individuals state that they feel incomplete. Some may also be angry with themselves but their body with their significant other even the medical professionals that involved and they may also wrestled with Gil filling that they've done a bad pain or shame feeling that they're about person that they're unworthy. They often struggle with confusion. You know questioning if they made the right right decision questioning what others may think about their decision and even with others may think about them and then to on the other end of the spectrum a emotional issues and struggles person may lack feeling they may experience numbness or detachment and be totally checked out on an emotional level a really very for each person but many do report struggling and be specific area. Yeah I mean you really have shared a lot there key because it feels like depending on like how this decision was made and you know the circumstances surrounding the decision making I mean like it really could determine like how you might react after actually having an abortion. Yeah for sure definitely. It's a very personal decision decision. I'm very unique store really very face on each person and I wanna go back to some of the things that you said around loss because I think you know one nine we tend to only think about laws as somebody dying right in. You really shared a lot of great information. Sounds like around Mike. The loss of relationships that that can sometimes result as after an abortion. Can you say more about that. Yeah so a Lotta Times your worldview really changes and so you change in the way that you interact with other individuals can also have a definite hit have struggles and they may change as well so with the law of partner the relationship might take a hit and so you lose that connection in some instances couples may not stay together or there may be a loss of a friendship because you feel like that person that you thought was going to support you with not there for you at that time so you may pull back so your relationships can starts the dear friend as your coping in dealing with these emotion. You also really touched on Kisha V.. Shame in Gidel Ed. Can sometimes uh-huh be related to this decision and I'm curious from a therapeutic standpoint like what are some of the things that you might work with a client on a hill you knows a really kind of work. Through 'em process these feelings of shaming guilt I think is really important to rainbows emotions and feelings that you are experiencing to bring them to the surface so that you can deal so that you can identify and deal with that when we think about shame being able to separate the action or the experience from your institution so that really is very important for a person to do because you know the the guilt says that I've done something that bad but then shame part makes you feel like you are a bad person that you're wholly unworthy and that's really important to work through. You know being able to differentiate between like I said your identity as a person versus your decision or the experience that like that distinction that you made right so the decision versus me as a person. Those are not missing thing. What are some things or activities that you found in your work with clients? That's helped them in healing. After an abortion individuals report war that they have found peace and comfort and performing rituals or having ceremonies surrounding the laws. For instance offense some have participated in candle ceremonies or memorial ceremonies. They've also serve other women or families that are dealing with this. Ah Issue and some have been able to plant trees or tree flower gardens and Tribu or memorial just as a way of kind of honoring during their child and some have even named their child is Yeah so in some ways it would Janie talk about some of these similar kinds of things on the episode that we did about healing after a miscarriage right so it sounds like in some ways it would be similar kinds of processes. Yeah I WANNA Kisha. You mentioned also the idea idea that you might lose some friendships because friends may not have supported you the way that she thought that they would. I'm curious to hear if you have suggestions about how friends friends can support someone after. They've had an abortion. I think one of the really important aspects to keep in mind is that it's just being available. You you know. Let your friend know that you share and that you're willing to help specifically that looks like you being non-judgmental being compassionate can't really being present with your friend listening is vital. It's a major part of communication but it's often overlooked at times and so and wanted to should be that helpful friend. You know a lot of times we're thinking about. What is it that I can say or do but listening is just as important
Parenting: Difficult Conversations
What is Postpartum Depression? Recognizing the Signs and Getting Help
"There was this myth. That women couldn't possibly be depressed during pregnancy. There's such a happy time. That's Dr Jennifer Pain. She's a psychiatrist and directs. The women's Mood Disorder Center at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore and the reality. -ality is a lot of women struggle with depression and anxiety during pregnancy as well as during the postpartum time period about one in seven women experienced this and and yet we don't talk about it much for thirty six year old Meghan rettig. It kicked shortly after. She gave birth to a son lost me. I would force myself to see people people and smile and say you know everything's great and then the second I had a chance where I wasn't holding him I could go to my room and cry and I probably couldn't count how many hours a day I cried. Sorry harder to this is harder to do than then you I think it is this is. NPR Life Kit. We're talking about anxiety and depression during pregnancy and postpartum I cover mental health for NPR and over the past year. I've been doing a lot of reporting on this topic in this episode will tell you how to identify symptoms fine in treatment and give you useful tips on how to manage your mood and wellbeing during this time and this isn't just pregnant women new moms it's for spouses. Parents parents siblings close friends as well. Because chances are you will be the first person to realize that your spouse or daughter or friend is struggling in. You can help refined treatment. We heard from over three hundred women who wrote who to us about their experience with anxiety. Depression during pregnancy and postpartum. Many of them said it took them a while to realize there were depressed and most of them felt ashamed and blamed themselves for it. He is making riddick. I felt guilty about how I felt so I absolutely tried to hide it from everybody and I would put on the best appearance I could. That's why most women don't see count says Dr Jennifer Pain. It is hard to become a new mother but then if a woman's depressed on top of that she's going to have negative feelings about herself as part of the depression and it becomes an even bigger thing but she stresses that depression isn't the mother's fault or failing it's a complication of pregnancy and childbirth house. pardom depression is actually the most common complication of childbirth. I that's our first takeaway. Depression and anxiety can be complications of pregnancy and childbirth just like just diabetes and hypertension. Their mental illnesses just like anxiety and depression at any other point of time as for what causes it. Jennifer pain says researches stone fully. I understand it but most mental illnesses she says are caused by a combination of biological factors and life circumstances in this case she says hormones hormones likely play a big role so we think in the postpartum time period that what happens is estrogen and progesterone levels which have been increasing throughout pregnancy precipitously drop And so there's basically a massive hormonal withdrawal from the brain and if someone had had anxiety or depression before they became pregnant their degree to risk. Now what makes women more vulnerable at the stage. Is that major life transitions. Sion's are big triggers for mental illnesses like pregnancy. And having a child it's a wonderful life change for many people but that doesn't mean it's not stressful You have to think about finances you have to think about caring for an infant. All of these factors come together to create a perfect perfect storm. And the reason it's really important to address this as pain is that if left untreated. It has long-term consequences on the baby's health and development so fabius whose moms were severely depressed postpartum time period have lower. IQ's slower language development. It's and more behavioral problems. Probably because they're not getting that normal interaction That mom's generally give their infants in the postpartum time period. Red And there are health risks for the mom to some women and the feeling suicidal in some even die by suicide in the first year postpartum others like Meghan rettig. Nick who wrote to US set these seriously thought about leaving their baby and spouse. I thought that I wasn't good enough for them. And that if I were just to leave leave that my husband could find a better wife and my son could find a better mother that he'd be able to find somebody to replace me. Who would be more adequate pain? Says it is important important to get the mother into treatment as soon as possible. Because I we save mom's not happy. No one's happy now. We're telling you this not not to scare you. The good news here is that this is treatable and with the right treatment women recover and do well but in order to get treatment. You I need to know if you're depressed that's our takeaway number to know what symptoms to look for and we're going to break them down for you. What I tend and to look for are women? Who are you know? Barely getting themselves together and taking care of the baby doctor. Paint says is if you're struggling to do daily activities every day for two weeks or more that's an indication you need help. Many women who wrote to us about their experience appearance with postpartum depression set the felt detached from their baby. Including Riddick I was afraid that I would never love him I. I thought that this is the bond between mother and child is the love that is so You know infallible. And I was afraid raid that I would never feel that because I didn't feel it in the beginning and there's a whole range of symptoms. Here's Dr Paint again. Many women when they're depressed have have low mood. Can't get out of bed. Have trouble concentrating trouble eating properly don't sleep well etc.. Anger can also be a symptom. Many women will get angry. That the baby's waking them up again or will not settle down and that can be really overwhelming feeling and then of course. It's a vicious vicious cycle because then the woman feels guilty. Thinks she's a bad mother and it just goes and goes in circles. She says many women also become really anxious anxious anxiety. Disorders are very common and pregnancy as well and those can look like generalized anxiety or having panic attacks or the anxieties eighties disguised as parenting worries. Only for some women worries play on repeat in their head like they did for Angelina Spicer. One of the MOMS who wrote to US Spicer Spicer is a comedian. And she's on a mission to normalize postpartum depression after what she went through the thoughts for me were like is she gonNa stop breathing. Everything is the dog gonNA come in and eat us up you know. It was just really random but vivid and recurring. You and the intrusive thoughts would haunt me at night mostly during like the three am feed or the five am feed. When I was alone alone in a dark room with just my daughter and I now if your spouse or a friend of family member and you're not with the pregnant woman or new mom for extended periods of time you may not see all these symptoms? So how do you tell if moments depressed. When people are depressed? They look very different. There is different. They look at and detached if they smile. It doesn't go up to there is Many people will become slower in their thinking and they're speaking process. So if you or someone you love has any of these symptoms. It's important to find signed help that's our takeaway number three ask for help. Pizza's the best place to start is with the doctor. Women see two main doctors. In the postpartum time period. One is their OBI and the others. The pediatrician and pediatricians are actually starting to screen as well because they recognize nuys. That mom being healthy is an important part of the child being healthy. You mean screen the mother for depression. Yes but many people are not used to talking to a doctor about their mental health. So how do you start that conversation. I think talking straight great is probably the number one tip. I have you know I'm feeling depressed. I can't sleep when the baby is sleeping. I'm not getting enough to eat and I've lost more weight than I expected. But just being very concrete and In clear what the doctor that there is a problem. You doctor can prescribe you. An antidepressant which has is being shown to be safe and effective during pregnancy. And when you breastfeeding and research shows the talk therapy is also very helpful. Your doctor can refer you to to a therapist or counselor remember. Treatment will look different for
The "Thank You Project"
"We got the chance to speak to Nancy Davis Co and she's the author of a book called the thank you project in two thousand sixteen. Nancy celebrated her Fiftieth Fiftieth Birthday. And she wanted to do something to mark that milestone so she started writing. Thank you letters to all of the people and places and things that the difference in her life little did she know that spending one year writing these thoughtful letters would have such a profound impact on her every week. I sat down on Friday afternoons to write my one letter and I would sit and fill up a page about why somebody had been important in my life and I could physically feel my shoulders relaxing. My Jaw clenching. Just a sense of calmness and peace would wash over me and I realized that the gratitude letters were helping me refocus every week. I could think no matter. How many horrible things that happened that week I could think okay? I have this one person in my corner and it was just a really amazing way to do a reset Nancy. I'd love to hear an example of one of the letters you wrote sure I'd love to share one. That didn't make it into the book but I really enjoyed writing this to my daughter's pediatric nurse. Her name's Jen And I wrote dear dear John. I'm writing because I turned fifty last year and decided to write a thank. You note to fifty people who have made a difference in my life for the care. Consistency and compassion compassion. You've shown Mattie and Lucy as pediatric nurse since they were each only a few days old I had to include you on that list. Your reassurance and skill have made my job as their mom easier. And I'm deeply grateful for that. You and I have probably stared together at those children on the Exam Table One hundred times in the past eighteen years but there there are a few visits that really stood out to me was when Matty was about ten months old and you said I just love seeing how you two are together. It was a tiny sentence tints but it was such a confidence boost to a new mom from a professional who saw moms and their children all day. Long whether you meant it or not I took it as a sign that I was doing. Okay with my a baby girl. I also remember that horrible period when Lucy was five weeks old and was hospitalized with. RSV She came through it unscathed. But when I brought her in for checkup a couple of days after she was discharged. You took one look at me and understood what I was unable to say out loud. I was about three feet past the end of my rope and gasping for help and and you saw that and you rescued me. I believe the prescription was for my husband to get both girls out of the house so I could sleep uninterrupted for basically a day I consider that nap. The only reason I didn't and fall into postpartum depression my kids are thriving and confident and hardworking and smart and I remember occasionally but never enough to give thanks that they are healthy on top top of it for your role and keeping them that way. I am so grateful with thanks Nancy. You're so specific. You gave very specific compliments and very specific examples. Well the Nice thing I learned in writing the book I really wanted to understand the science behind. Why gratitude letters worked on me so well and one of the things they talk about as positive recall bias? So what that means is you can train yourself to look for positive things by looking for positive things so it's really like working gratitude muscle and it got. I loved that part of trying to figure out specifically what it was. I think you're right. I'm sure Jen saw seventy seventy kids a day or however many hersler her caseload was. She doesn't remember the specifics but I can remember them because I only had two kids and I know every time time they were sick and she was so reassuring that it was it made my job easier and that was the kind of thing I wanted to make sure she understood Nancy. So you talk about how transformative this was to yourself. You just told us about how physically affected you but I want you to take us back to your first letter you you know. Who did you write it to? What were you feeling when you were writing it? How did you start you know? Take us back. I wanted to start with my mom in part because she she has dementia. I felt that there was some time urgency to that. Thank you mom. Thank you for being such that. You'll warm affectionate supportive. Funny Mother someone who pulled off the deceptively simple trick of creating a home that served both as a sanctuary and a launch pad for. Sally Larry Gary and me a joke about it with my writer friends. My parents were so nice. They didn't give me any material to write a memoir about but they know I know and you know that our family family life was the best gift you could ever give me one of the things that I realized as I wrote wrote to her is that I needed to apologize to her. Because I had this fiction my head that I was really easy kid for her to raise that I had not given her any problems. well as a mom of two two teenage girls at the time I knew that that could not have been true. It's just not it's not humanly possible for a teenage girl to not give her mother some grief. So Oh that really was the first instance but not the last where forgiveness came into play with this project. Because when you're thinking about someone on who has made a difference in your life maybe there are old resentments that you're holding onto or you think well this person does all these good things for me. But they haven't shown for me in this other way and found that writing. The letters really fostered a sense of forgiveness toward the people I was writing and in some cases it really made me WanNa make amends. It made me WanNa be a better friend a better relative because I've been the beneficiary of so much kindness in my life I think an essay I read a couple of years ago about a woman who feels herself becoming invisible to her family realizing that she's like air who thinks about air air but then again what do you do without it. I'm saying now what I was too young and dumb to understand. Then you are the root source of the happiness and stability in in my life you have always taught me so much from the flash cards that may be an early reader to that moment when I was twenty two to last week when you and dad took my aunt to the doctor and showed me once again what familial love and devotion should look like. I love you mom. I'm just so incredibly lucky to be your
Almost 30 Podcast
Ep. 257 - Gabrielle Bernstein on Self Development
"Hello welcome to almost thirty podcast. My name is Chris. Williams and this is my co host. Thick what's up. How are you never know if you're going to say my name or if I should say. Actually actually it's like. I weighed on bated breath. I'm like should I be ready. Do you ever had a for almost thirty started as a conversation. Can you guys started talking about the transition from our twenties thirties now. It's so much more than that so much more. we just. WanNa make you feel a little less alone wherever you are. Dr And so you don't have to be almost thirty to listen. We get that he and we'd like to debunk. It can't wait. What are you GonNa do when you turn thirty now my thing is as I say we're GONNA end it. That's it. We're done little. Do they know little. Do they know I freaked my the cry out. The Guy at Crow Studios Get freaked out when I told him I was thirty. We're like friends. We've we hung out and he wanted anything younger younger twenty six he's like Oh. I thought we were the same age I was like. They gave myself away. He's like must be all the Kreil aging. I was describing like it's always funny. When you meet someone new UH and they're really interested out the podcasting is base and so I was describing into someone the other day and like how we started and they they were just they were blown away by like the beginnings of it and how we didn't give up which is a good reminder area. which is a good reminder you know because I'm just amazing this? Is Our story a new lake. How did you they're like? I don't know like I wouldn't go to my closet every week and just like do that and not knowing not knowing what's going to happen anyway. Maybe that's your problem man. He was also living on the street. No you don't know much but I'm GonNa tell you about your life just kidding but it is true you know and that's the thing is doing something with joy away because you're doing it not because of the outcome yeah which is rare. I it's very rare. You know it's so much easier to stay. Hop Hop on a track can be like. Oh after two years. I'm going to be promoted to this and this is going to be my life and then I'm GonNa make this amount of money. When I'm thirty five and then I could buy a house and then propose it was literally people think I was just thinking about that with like a younger generation of millennials think they're track as like expedited sided with the growth of entrepreneur the entrepreneur totally wave and how the democratization of information so that everyone now has access to a lot of information as much as people did previously so. I wonder how that changes their perspective perspective with that. I want to say stuff but I need to. My brain was just like I need to be nice. I'll hold on what do not work but aren't we millennial yet. Are we talking about Gen-x. Yeah I do what are they. I Love Them. You know we were talking about this. The other day mothers again today with someone else yeah. I think it's like how you know and you know we can complain about it for a second but it's also like how do we uh-huh and encourage and help them to level up and I mean in a sense where they understand that there there is work and kind of time spent that is necessary to invest into something that you want to pursue for the rest of your life like they're so oh impatient and I'm like I've been invasion in my life but more and more as we do this work. I just realized how how this is like the rushing of it you skip over so many really good good. Things good steps that really teach you a lot so chew with your first job. You know you gotTA. I'm not saying they should accept people that are rude or people that are negative or people are speaking. Ill too but he couldn't eat shit. I completely bullshit. You just do bullshit. You will learn you know you're given more responsibility as it's earned earned and it's just so challenging at times to see this inability to operate in this space in a way that is just like St. I don't think you know the be self. Development world has a negative effect. Sometimes on this like new you know younger generations because it's like but I deserve the respect and I deserve to take care of myself myself. I deserve to have two hours from much in the morning and you're asking me to come to work like I can't do it. You know you know what I mean like. I just I think there is a there is a lot of truth to taking care of yourself but I do think it gets a little bit muddy. When it's taken so to extreme I agree with you. I guess that's probably you know. This is what I guess I will say is that I bet it's a confusing message in narrative for them if they're seeing so much should the focus on the self care the prioritization of self the prioritization of health and wellness and taking you know doing the morning routine and then they're also seeing the images of people working talking by the pool on their laptop of you know being in whatever industry they are making money making one hundred zillion billion figure taking eight fakers empowering making eight billion. Hey everyone we just want you to hold us accountable. If we ever say to you Aguirre's eight figure income you can you can just unsubscribe. We're not gonNA guarantee figures yeah so it's probably confusing narrative to be within those two spaces but I don't know if that should be more transparency with the difficulty of the process or the unknowing of the process and that's what I think were trying to do and I'm trying to do but it's just it's not all easy and it's not all it doesn't always make sense and it's really important that you if you are somewhere that you are somewhere and you're putting in the work to be there and you're putting in the work personally to get the most for yourself and energetically for the commitment that you make doing whatever it is that you said you're going to do. You're not helping yourself if you're not you know putting the best infra situation and those challenging moments that really make you wanna give up are or literally by moments where your call to like level up and it'll change your life. That's the whole thing with like you know my brother's a part of that generation to where you know there is this avoidance of the hard and painful and I get it because of what you said about you know the narrative because they're told like we just WANNA be happy and I've heard him say I just want to be happy and I take that seriously but I also you don't think a life without challenges like a happy life. I do think there's a way to approach the challenge that could really help you to see the the joy and the potential every moment Yep Yep. I mean completely. I think that's exactly what I wanted to talk about and that was was something I learned when I was in Patagonia for that month or so and you know didn't have access to anything and had to have on my food with me and my Kayak whatever so within the moment you know you assume okay. You're in Patagonia. It's beautiful. You're with these people in nature. All of these things it's beautiful but there are a lot of moments that aren't fun and it's actually they talk a lot about that within that and even within the silent retreat and even within a lot of these different things. It's not fun in the moment and that's okay. It's okay to be a little uncomfortable. It's okay to for it to be a little painful. It's okay for you to not be super cozy all the time and that's where growth happens so the happiness comes later and it's not like the appreciation and gratitude for for your life now because you experience pain but but it's the recognition of what that discomfort has shown you and I think that's where the challenge comes is that because everyone has a voice with with the Internet and online fine and you know I would be the same like throughout my discomfort in the corporate world at the beginning. I was so vocal about it and there was so much that I learned that I wish I would've given recognition to and I wish that I would recognize that. It's not super comfortable throughout the process of its entirety ready but it has moments and it has parts in it has flow yeah completely completely agree. I don't know that's so true with yeah. I think that's so true. It's like I hope I it makes me just think of the narrative that's going on. It's like where instagram is a place where it's the highlight so they're people aren't seeing those moments you know aren't seeing the hard moments aren't seeing the in between so. I just think that's why will ability and just transparency is so important. If you choose to be more of like a quote unquote public figure you know have a voice out there air like it really is that important on only four your growth but for the people around you who look to you you know that's it's a concert reminder for us to you. Just you know not sugar coat. How things are going and what's happening. We're going to celebrate the really good things but there's also some things that are really hard and it's not to say oh so this is hard. It's just to say that like this is happening in real time and were trusting that it's just a a growth spurt you know Um and that's the number one thing too. It's like the phone is the number one cozy. WanNa get cozy. Take a fucking our on your phone on that'll Coz if I your brain and your body you know that's the number one get out of an uncomfortable moment conversation. I even noticed that sometimes with you know justice my man my boyfriend Justin with we're having a conversation that feels a little hot. He'll get on his phone. Yep kind of divert that energy up my brother does to Yemen. I mean it's it's make crutch and I'm not perfect. You know I'm definitely not perfect at all but it's just an interesting thing think about where you're trying to shift and dilute that and you're looking for that cozy you know if you're on your phone. There say you know we're talking today about you know the homeless situation in l. a. and an across the United States and almost man comes on the subway. You get on your cozy your phone number one you know that's the number one diversion of human interaction human feeling human whatever and that is the the thing. I guess when I think about the younger generation has more access to that that more of an awareness around that in it's more like built into their psychology of their of their physical it's physical body at a point and I think about to like the kids now that are given and granted no shamed parents parents who give their kids screens to kind of give them a second. I will probably do that too but it's also just training on that like okay this is this is a comfort for this. Is You know what I mean to not. Be In the moment and learn how to be here rather. It's just this thing that helps them to behave so so. It's just interesting that it's starting earlier and earlier and I wonder how it's going to be in like twenty years when they are thirty year. Olds know you think about that. As a last is point on this as the rewiring of the brain that would need to happen if you think about a chemical dependency to something you know it involves in the altering of the chemicals of your brain and the way that we react towards what happens on our phone through through the dopamine and Serotonin and all the things that that happened chemically. It's occurring without the without the drug just the thing that it's almost like you know part of when I think about eating disorders or eating addictions or binge eating and stuff.
News, Traffic and Weather
Signs of postpartum depression in dads are often mistaken or missed, study shows
"Dads, can get postpartum depression, too, and the condition can go unnoticed, a study in the UK tested people on how well they recognize the signs of postpartum depression, which includes anxiety struggle to bond with their babies respondents, easily recognize the signs in women. But it was significantly less recognized in men, researchers say there should be more programs that highlight the prevalence of postpartum depression in men and treatment
How Common Is Postpartum Depression in Dads?
"Today's episode was brought to you by the new Capital One saver card with which you can earn four percent cashback on dining and entertainment. That means four percent on checking out that new restaurant everyone's talking about and four percent on watching your team win at home. You'll also earn two percent cashback at grocery stores and one percent on all other purchases. Now when you go out you cash in what's in your wallet? Welcome to brain stuff from how stuff works. Hey, brain stuff, Lauren Vogel bomb here for some time. Researchers and mental health experts have known the postpartum depression is not something solely experienced by new mothers new fathers to make spurious depression. We spoke with Brandon Eddie an assistant professor in the couple and family therapy program at the university of Nevada Las Vegas. He learned a little about postpartum, depression when his wife experienced it after the couple's first child and a studied how postpartum depression affects men to he wrote about it for a paper in the ury twenty nineteen edition of the journal of family issues. It's titled forgotten fathers postpartum depression in men. Already at ease hearing for many who applaud his efforts to force this illness more into the open Eddie said, I had a former co worker who read it and sent me a message. He said, I really appreciated your study. I could really relate with it. He said everyone asks how's your wife? How's the baby? And it ends there. I desperately want someone to ask. How are you doing? Many parents of new babies go through the baby blues mood swings anxiety. Trouble sleeping, and general sadness are all symptoms. But when those moods become more intense and last longer when overpowering fatigue sets in when a parent has problems bonding with a newborn or has that's suicide or if harming the baby those are all signs, the postpartum depression has set in postpartum depression can be especially difficult for men because of a widely held belief that it's a woman only illness much of the available information on postpartum depression is still aimed exclusively toward women. Even the National Institute for mental health defines the condition as quote a mood disorder that can affect women after childbirth yet, a twenty ten study shows that somewhere around ten percent of dads and twenty five percent in the three to six month period after birth experience postpartum depression, at ease research sites, another study that says that between twenty four and fifty percent of men whose partners have postpartum depression, also experience it, and of course as. Any serious depression? It can impact all aspects of men's lives their work, friendships and relationship with their partner and children. With the stigma that surrounds paternal postpartum, depression, the idea that it's for women only men don't get it. You didn't carry a baby for nine months? Just suck it up and be strong. Finding men willing to talk openly about their depression was not going to be easy. So any in his fellow? Researchers went to a source where anonymity rules and fathers felt free to speak their mind the internet after conducting searches for phrases like depression in new fathers, Eddie and his co authors, scoured chat, boards, blogs and other. Forums like read it to pull information from twenty-seven, new dads. Eddie said no one knows who they are. So there's not the same sense of shame. It's not like all eyeballs are upon you. So sometimes that makes it a lot easier to share their experiences. These people were in a safe place where they were able to express themselves. Eddie's research uncovered six main themes from those online comments first fathers need education, it became clear that although they may not have known what to call it. Many of the commenters were living with paternal postpartum depression. The second men experiencing because part of depression were anxious about adhering to gender expectations. One commenter said I wanted to cry and give up being a father. But I was afraid to acknowledge those thoughts and feelings and myself, it wasn't becoming of a man and father to feel those things third the fathers were repressing their feelings. For example, one said she's with the kids all day every day, and I'm home to help for six hours and can't handle it. Forth. The men felt overwhelmed. One said, I have the feeling that I'm constantly on the edge of bursting into tears fifth their own negative feelings lead to some resentment of their babies one said baby cries can unearth some darkness in me. I found. And sixth the fathers themselves felt neglected one said, I blamed both my wife and my son for my feelings of loss and insignificance. My wife seemed to consider me selfish and irresponsible. These were the common threads. And although of course, it sucks to have these feelings. They're completely valid these feelings are real recognized by scientists and caused some experts believe at least in part by chemical changes in men's bodies, postpartum, depression and women has been tied to a dip in the hormone estrogen, but women aren't alone in dealing with falling hormone levels men, experienced drop testosterone from early to late pregnancy. And that's been linked depression to. Most importantly fathers need to know that help is available a talk with the health practitioner, maybe the first step towards shaking postpartum depression. If seeing a psychologist is intimidating a family, doctor can help you reach diagnosis prescribed medications that may help and put you in touch with a mental health practitioner that you'd be comfortable with Eddie said, the sooner you get helped the better if you put this off you're going to have more distance grow between you and your partner you're going to is late yourself and you're going to put yourself in a bad situation. So seeking out help as soon as he recognized something off is really the way to go and the way to limit how much impacts you and your family. Today's episode was written by John Donovan and produced by Tyler clean, brain stuff is a production of iheartmedia. House two forks for more on this and lots of other mental health topics. Visit our home planet. How stuff works dot com. And for more podcasts from iheartradio. Visit the iheartradio app. Apple podcasts are wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Today's episode is brought to you by the new Capital One saver card. Earn four percent cashback on dining and entertainment two percent at grocery stores and one percent on all other purchases. Now when you go out you can cash in what's in your wallet.