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"portnoy bagwell" Discussed on KFC Radio

KFC Radio

11:38 min | 1 year ago

"portnoy bagwell" Discussed on KFC Radio

"Kevin Kevin Heaven. You're just ridiculously stupid. Welcome welcome welcome Welcome man take back back. In New York City Case Smith Catholic lands jacker obvious for the new C. C. K.. Kerr only an hour. which is the stupidest thing in the world but hey whatever hour long radio shows? Let's fucking cram all the good shit into sixty minutes instead of two hours. Speaking of Kramnik Kevin being in Miami. That was I am. He's awesome. Did you tip your your Hotel the maid service. Because I mean you should have. Here's my logic right. The candy bars in the Hotel Sosa. We're like well. They were very stale but I ate all of them and they were probably like ten dollars a candy bar. So the profit margin between like what candy bars cost in what I was charged. That's my tip sheet motherfucker walker that has to do with the fucking may sweat to clean up your come all right. Listen No I didn't leave it to but I haven't had cash cash on my person since two thousand dollars. It's tough when you've just got sixty dollar tip so just like consider half of that. That's going to ride that wave. Yeah Okay Twenty thirty from Willie got it. All right rocky was coming in his room all week coming every everywhere and we the the exclamation point on the end of the week. DOC was the Barstool party which was our greatest operation ever until it wasn't it was and then it wasn't it was did you hear Asom. The spectacle was obscene. It was huge. It looked good. It was well staffed. We finally learned everything. And then. Then we'll we'll we'll do it like movie style where they give you the end. Then you rewind Dave. Last night she got punched in the face of the planet. Exactly that so last night Dave Dave said I looked around and at one point me and guys were arguing with the fire marshal while Devon and Dante were screaming at people on stage and all of a sudden I had time traveled back to two thousand eleven right back in the middle of the blackout tour. So we told you it was going to be a throwback blackout party and and we delivered because it got shut down it was a fiasco. It was a nightmare and I mean none of it really our fault. Some of it was our fault. The rain obviously was the main culprit. But we got guys in here now Kinda. Give us the money bags. The place was a warehouse. That was more just a roof than these these eventing we start planning these like the summer. Seven months let's start with like it's basically I start thinking about Tampa. It's by far. The biggest event barstools ever thrown are not even close. We're talking we threw a pay per view amateur boxing match in newer rave in a warehouse in the Hood in Miami and the Super Bowl. Like it's just like a lot of moving parts to do is huge the by far the coolest place. We've Donna venue the barrel. The Promo girls the waiters the SEC red carpet Like there was like a Fan duel section and a nab sexy. Like all these weird. It was awesome. The stage looks incredible. This the jumbotrons Tom. Everything looked amazing and it was going smoothly although we fucked up the security the soon but it wasn't like unsafe. It was just that like we were supposed to have the security was fine. It was just not for. Yeah we are on behind. That was people that get tables. Show up at like midnight eleven. You don't want that whole half empty so it's like let's put people up there so it looks like an awesome atmosphere earn live TV and all that Shit and then when when they show you have security move out now. We're not to now. Five thousand six thousand people are in the venue in. It's all condensed to where the roof was it. It was supposed to be more spread out. Yeah the torrential downpours. Everyone just like was look there so you just couldn't get anyone else and then it was like just fucking hold on tight. The reign like I. I had a funny tweet looking back on it. The rain was great at first because the place was so crowded and there were so many people that I was getting sweaty sweaty and the rain started to blow in a little bit and it was just like having missed on you as the lights. We'd like the monsoon of Miami is actually making it rain inside a little bit and it's the best thing that's ever happened. Anybody in the area and then it was like narrator voice. No it wasn't because by the end I mean that must have been the most rain that Miami has gotten in years so like it was. I was extract people in the red carpet like oh it was crazy logistically but it was it was essentially like the fire marshal wanted to shut down. Eleven o'clock this to Iran or Gotcha out. Pepsi's Party got shut down because of flooding and like they're a big quake. Harry styles didn't get to go on like it was four or five parties. Listen today the rain green was the culprit was not tornado warnings. So they they were worried. That was like sixty seventy mile winds inbound chumming. Listen like you're considered an exterior venues just like if you're gonNA sixty mile an hour gusts you got lights. They're not rigged for that. And so yeah. We're still like we're fighting with them for you know the blackout going. Let's to try to stay alive while my dedication wants that was like. Let's just keep the party going as long as possible so people can just drink as much as possible and they get so fucked up. They don't even know what's going on. I mean we've had blackouts shutdown right like we won A. Yeah the the new now with a bunch of celebrities. That was the thing I was like. You know when when the blackout door got shut down and it was me out us and the college kids it was like whatever when you've got pro athletes and entertainers and shit. It shooter mcgavin like swimming way. We don't go and get results because that is the highlight of it all but I was thinking table like we were asked to asks with everybody and not because we wanted to be. It was literally. You're saying there and then you turn and right to my right on. My shoulder is Joe Borough. WHO's like one of the most famous people in sports right now and he's just sitting there Kramden as I I was like I think? Because he's young he was allied whatever this Lsu. I feel like if you were any adult role. Rob Lowe is just like having a great time rob blow just walking through the crowd wearing his Houston. asterisks shirt is what is going on. Why are you what is what is wrong? I guess he brought his kids with him. So he's by like the cool dad being down with Barstool but yes the Yellow charity softball game. They fucking bar. It's hilarious it's the I guess and it was. It was this Donovan mcnabb. Where together no idea found out back to bore just in the mix of your old girl? VIP The guy turns that girl like yeah big time athletes. That I didn't even know were there so I don't know what they did. So we we see I was I had I got an early too so I was like I gotta get the Fuck Outta here fights and his girl like you know what I'm GonNa come with you too so as relieving when it truly got shot in a honestly at that point like I was like it was starting to get like scary in the sense of where people are so fucked up. People are starting to hang from the rafters. There was not enough security so I actually think it getting shutdown the head it absolutely is it was just. It was going to break out into like you know it was kind of like the mud day at Woodstock yeah people starting to slide around wondering how many like Louis we baton shoes. I got rid Kellie Martin. Shoes got literally swept away in a river slip and they got along the cur- where there it was like a big river. They just got taken off and Williams like Jason after I mean it was pure chaos situation nuts because I didn't have to go the bathroom. I was sweating. I it was. It was the third worst I've ever had to pick a my entire life. The first two I ended up pissing my pants so the bathroom situation was like everyone was in the venue like undercover right. But they're these trailers that were outside that you'd have to like go. Yeah you have to run to and then eventually because the rain everyone's shit face like people just started cutting the line like there was a line forming inside a run for it like fuck this. I'm not not doing it so I had to sprint to a parking lot Brennan Walker had to like watch. My daddy was like the fucking like the tomb of the unknown soldier in front of us I was doing the day Portnoy Bagwell in between two cars like pissing and then Brenna walkers standing there like protecting my penis and by the time we've got back to like Casey and all of them like it looks like dove into a pool table right so I was actually standing with Gaz outside and this is what. I knew that we weren't seeing Gaz anymore anymore. We were seeing Paul because the look on his face when I was outside with them while I was pouring rain trying to get a car which is like pure just like what the fuck have I created which is why Willie's quote this morning on breakfast was perfect. Viktor the mad scientist. And you just didn't realize when you created and I turn around. And I see jared and Brandon just sprinting in the rain and Brandon. Just keep saying God damn boy got. Uh what did jared just do. What did he do? It was just like a father. There was impressed with his son street. Passing half minutes it still that. We're trying to get a car and how hard it was for us who work at Barstools staining with guys who has planet to get a Karmic what are the celebrities. Liberty's GONNA do. We got out and I was like we gotta just get away from this to get a car because there's five thousand people trying to order cars and so we just started walking again like you said it was like a weird in spite of Miami where it was and shit. So I'm like I'm furious at this point. I got to be at the airport in like three hours as mother fucker and I didn't know what what we were GONNA do. We just start walking and all of a sudden like Goddamn Guardian Angel. We hear this guy like who John Do. You need a ride and it was like a friend of the wrong who won stance on stage at a blackout tour. I thought he was like an intern and he was like. Yeah like come on with us. And if it wasn't for that it would and they and they were in the hotel next to ours it was just like thank the stars and moons aligned to get home otherwise I was sitting there. I'm like now I'm happy. We're driving home. And by the way as he drove over the bridge there was a car that was just engulfed. Inflames it was it was it was the end of the world. Why why a car exploded? I don't know but there were burning vehicles and flooding roads and John Lewis companion like what did what about you do. What did you do? Sam Darnold do these guys were like just running down Uber's and so John's girl told me that he was just ignoring whoever was yelling at him because he thought I know and finally she was like Hey Babe I think that guy like she said you guys were just going to keep walking walking. God we jumped him with him and and he was like again. I don't know if he worked one event or multiple events but he was like. Hey man it was like just like old times up there and I was kind of like fuck this as but whatever let's do it. I told the guy when he dropped optus off I was like I will never ever forget you. This is the nicest thing that's anyone ever done for me. And I would've I don't know what would have happened to me. Thank you so much but I mean it was the the pay per view aspect like watching people. See that for the first time is always a trip watching Dante and Devlin start the blackout tour. I've never seen Dante smile. That much of my life seeing Devon Back Jack doing his intro running the opener package on the screen awesome like it really was a turn back into the blackout tour and it was short lived but for the moment of having it back awesome. That's what we wanted to do..

Miami Dante Brennan Walker Willie Kevin Kevin Heaven Devon New York City Hotel Sosa Kerr amateur boxing Tampa John Lewis Donovan mcnabb John Do Rob Lowe Lsu Dave Dave Gaz