4 Episode results for "Phil Mackey"

The Sedano Show [Hr 4]

Afternoons with Marcellus & Kelvin

42:06 min | 2 years ago

The Sedano Show [Hr 4]

"Tell you what if you ever want to get a group of white people to stop what they're doing and joined together as one you put this on at the bar, the white boy Wednesday. The white boy Wednesday, and that's right. This is a white boy, Wednesday anthem. If there ever was one, it's up there. There. There are certain bands that don't fall into what we would call now post racial. Now these guys Bon Jovi racial. They are who they are in terms of ethnishity in terms of which isn't that everyone can't enjoy on. Joe Bon Jovi is open to hordes people dollar enjoying their music just doesn't happen. I would say we're certainly more popular in the white community. I mean, like what happens if you play this song at like at a party with mostly black people? I don't. I don't know design ever get into it on no. Stop, go. Oh. You'll have a few. You have a few and that's all there people the older ones. Right. Well, that's true. It is also generous. Usually that's when the time to go to the bar or the bathroom. Take a break north in people who are singing along. Remind me of Don Cheetos character in boogie nights. Go see. So quite fit in. On changing their hairstyle. Swear to cowboy cowboy hats and he's got the Stevie Wonder, skinny braids going on James. All right. And then something goes bad and he's just got a text in front of ours. You shook me all night long. Now that is white. Boy anthem. You shook me all night long. AC LeBron just as a to clarify, Brian, first of all, came in at ski brothers, Brian Kaminsky into communist game for Sodano today. The white boy whitewater white boy, Wednesday. When LeBron declares is means the white guys on the team get to choose the music. If you include the euro's that's like spe-. Mogo zoo, bats, move honor. And then Travis wear an Alex Caruso. So you know. That's the lease by the way, that is the least intimidating floor combination that the Lakers can put out. It is also by far the most influenced Travis wears going to have on this team. This is without question the most influence he'll have well, I mean, zoo bots. No, you would figure is the guy that would get most control over that playlist because he's the most veteran of all these guys nine year old Suzuki say zoo pots has been most time as an NBA player under his belt. He and Brandon Ingram. This is crazy Brian. They are the two longest tenured Lakers, Brandon Ingram, innovates zoo bots. That is crazy. Yeah. But anyway. So if you have your your selections for a white boy, Wednesday playlist parents can be all year long. So you can tweet us twenty two cameras LeBron said it was a lot of Eminem today, but not the only stuff. No. And a lot of also heard a lot. A lot of Grateful Dead was paid last year during white boy, Wednesday. That was when Lukac. Yeah, right. Luke ceded control to LeBron James because like we talked about before LeBron now controls everything. Tangentially related to Lakers Lou pass to Legrand back to the other. White boys. That's crazy. Third person, they run it all through LeBron everything gets run through the Brown one way or another right. Casey pays can be here another another seven or eight years. This is how it is. There you go. God, what a great age and choice he made. Thirty million dollars for choosing rich. Paul's your agent, he's kind of the equivalent. Remember how de'andre Jordan like it really paid quite literally to be Blake, Griffin's friend, right? That's Casey. James Jones. If it's a good idea to LeBron's friend now we're a no. By the way to that, Anthony Davis is going to be a Laker when Casey p all of a sudden gets sent to do a year in New Orleans just there to be close to Anthony Davis. I can not if you wanna make a prediction of where he plays. It's wherever Casey p is next year. If he's into Orleans, did he say. He goes up before him and sets up shop. You're pitching. He's the, he's the the advanced team, but I will say on a serious note, Casey p after his legal issues were over great. He played a lot better really well and it like people kind of forget like he was in jail, Casey p last year because of the d. y. that he picked up weddings with pistons, and there was a parole violation. Green, the there was an agreement to his plea and screwed it up. And so like where everyone else went home or to play, you know, the bucks that wherever they want case, if you went to jail like that, he went to the seal beach detention center. Granted had some flat screens and stuff like that. Still look, terrible, steal your own bed. No, it's not bad. Every home. Beautiful family at home? Yeah. Stressful came out and played well after that, but didn't know anyone in LA or. Seal beach. Detentions, presumably there too. Although maybe now. Go to this. I'm going to this jail. I don't have any. Same questions. We asked my son. Ooh. That's what I thought you meant. He's going to the seal beach detention center. I don't know anybody don't expect KCPT to know anybody. I don't either. Weird that that would be something that would upset him? No friends. Going to talk to. Nobody's say, but you always also like my son was worried about, well, who am I gonna play with the yard? Basic problem. We're my friends going to be, what are we gonna play? Do they have enough room to play soccer? Two stats with the Rams right. Is that what we're all right? So the Rams Thursday night, it's this is the best defense that they're gonna play, and I realized the Vikings haven't done quite as well this year as last, I realize Everson Griffen going to be playing in this in this game still the best events, the Rams played. Have you want to figure out what the Rams have done? Well. Third, their third down conversions lead the league by like five or six percent fifty four percent. Next closest teams like fifty half over half of their third downs. They've converted. The most stunning stat, I think from this from this team Bill Barnwell put it out at the beginning of the week. The team closest to them in terms of three and outs, lowest percentage of three and outs this year was Tampa Bay going into their game against Pittsburgh little over twenty percent. That was number two. Number one are the Rams you wanna guess the number I I actually know the number. Okay. Ruins that bit. Six point six, six point. Seven, six point. Seven, six point. Seven twenty twenty a little over twenty. For number two, the Rams three and a half percentage. Six point seven. You wanna talk about the how Minnesota can take advantage of the Cornerbacks and the Rams defense might be a little more vulnerable guys are banged up all that stuff. These numbers, if they get anywhere close to that against a really good Minnesota defense, the Rams will win this game. I think going away what we've seen so far from the average in thirty four points a game, and I realized this is not breaking news. The idea that. The Rams are great offensively last year they average thirty game, which is definitely on the high side. It's not difficult to pitch them getting that number of to like thirty seven is an average thirty right now. No thirty four right now which is I think third or fourth in the league is Tampa still continues to score seven thousand points a game, but but what trying very hard to find that hard right now. But at the same time, like everybody in that system knows it better. Jared Goff knows better as a full years of start under his belt. Todd Gurley knows all the different ways that he's going to be used. The Jeff Fisher never bothered even trying. But then you get a guy like Brandin cooks such an upgrade such an upgrade over Sammy Watkins. And you know, he hasn't scored yet and talked about touchdowns had one taken away the other day where they thought he score, but you almost four hundred yards receiving and another like. Like two hundred. If you add pass interference penalty, it's like the field position that they've gained because of that the upgrade from from Sammy Watkins to Brandin cooks and like whether or not that's where we talked earlier with the mean about how the Lakers I put them in that category of while, no, it's better or not, but they did it. And so I, I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt like magic and Pelinka for the personnel stuff have been pretty much on point the guys they've traded with the right guys. The guys they brought in right guys, you can basically say the same things about the Rams in the sort of Sean McVay era. They've gotten it right, and it's been really short, and there's not a ton of evidence on the table, but there's nothing to indicate that when they do something like give Brandin cooks a really big contract before he actually plays a game with your team, that it was the wrong thing to do. Some degree though, I think they were. They were looking to give cooks that money pretty quickly a, he's good, but be they had burned a draft pick on it. Sure. And they had had that happen with Sammy Watkins as well, and you end up losing it when he's out and plays. Well, he controls that you're always better and they did the same thing with girly. You pay somebody a little bit earlier than you have to. Maybe you get, you know, you have a number of the top of your range or whatever it is you have a number of what you something that's ideal. You're much more likely to be able to get somewhere in the middle that you're comfortable with, which is less than your max if you give it to him early. Yeah, I totally agree. But I mean, the picks that they gave up for keep to leave for Marcus Peters for for all these guys that they brought in. They can only do that because Jared Goff played so well so quickly because otherwise, all the picks that they gave up to be in the position to trade for golf may need to hang on to be able to drive. It'd be good enough. They need to hang on to all those. But even having said that with a guy like cooks. You move that pick to get him. You still want to have him around three to four seasons, five seasons. You want to make sure that you actually have something to pay off or not having the draft pick. Yeah, but the flip side is the other part of that. Maybe not the flips. The other part of it is the Rams. No. Their window is potentially pretty long like the minute you have to pay Goff. We've seen it with Seattle. It gets harder to win you seen that. But you know the other thing is they saw the division kinda tailing off the look around the NFC. There are a lot of good teams. There's no Golden State Warriors of the of the NFC right now. And so they took a window and maybe shorten it by year or so you're maybe it's, they turned a five-year great five year window into a three and a half or four year window, but they kicked that thing open much larger than it was, which I think is great. They kicked out the window. I mean the windows now shattered, like there is no window right now in terms of what they have in front of points, they're going to run off to buy a new window at some point. But while the window is. Kicked in there is a lot of possibility in front of the Rams. Yeah, no question. We're gonna talk about actually the Rams and this game tomorrow against the Vikings with Phil Mackey ESPN twin cities, and also talk with them a little bit about this. Jimmy Butler situation, the trade demand with timber wolves, and where he might end up Sadan show came in brothers, ESPN, LA down a show candidates, keep brothers in for George into kimchi, Brian Kamm Manetzky and the Rams have a huge game Thursday night tomorrow at the Coliseum taken on the Minnesota Vikings and break that down and also talk a little bit about what's going on with Jimmy Butler and the mess that is the Minnesota Timberwolves. We are joined by Phil Mackey ESPN twin cities. How are you. Well, if I could speak on behalf of Minnesota sports fans this week, I'm ready to to jump off the tenth story of downtown Minneapolis building right now, but I personally, I'm doing well. Thanks for having a good time. Beer sports, radio host in your our priorities are not their priorities that that's the rally lines. Just open phones in the job does itself. Right. And I, I think we're always open to a good ambulance chasing session. So. There's been. There's been no shortage of things to complain about this week, that's for sure. Oh, well, when it comes to one of the complaints, it would be the Vikings and the loss. They're coming off against the Buffalo Bills. How do you think this team is going to be reacting to that? And then coming into LA on short notice against undefeated Rams team. These games or tough verdict in general, just because guys are more banged up than they ordinarily would be. And travel is probably more of a factor when it's that short of a turnaround, which would well, there's a lot of factors that savor the Rams in this game, but I, I don't know how to predict what's going to happen with the Vikings because what happening against the bills was one of the most unpredictable things. And I don't think this is hyperbolic to say this. I think it was one of the most unpredictable outcomes the way that it turned into a blow out the other way around in recent NFL history. So it's on one hand. I think you could shock it up to well, you're going to have a clunker in sixteen game season. This team was built to compete for a Super Bowl when they walk into week want. But on the other hand, when when you're facing a rookie quarterback at home and you're a seventeen point favorite and you're supposed to have the best defense in the NFL, although it was minus Everson Griffen you're not supposed to lose that game. Let alone flown out in that game. So. I guess if I if I had to make call, I would say it's going to be really difficult for the Vikings, just bounce back and beat the best team in the NFL. But on the Vikings side of things too, you could make a case that their season is on the line with these next two games, they play Rams and then they get a couple extra days off compared to a normal week and they play the eagles. And if you lose both those games drop to one three and one you're season is pretty much over with a tough schedule. The rest of the way we're trying to fill Mackey ESPN twin cities. So you can look at both sides of the ball here. And this is in theory, at least Minnesota's the best team of the Rams a play this year. On looking at defense without Everson Griffen though is starting there, how are they set up in terms of dealing with that Rams offense? What is the what is the game plan? As far as you can tell that it is where the the strong points that fear radically could put a wrench in what the Rams are trying to do. Yeah. Yeah, so so Everson Griffen is one of the best defensive ends in the NFL and in between his injury and dealing with some major personal issues and some mental troubles. He's not going to be back anytime soon. And you know, we all we all hope that the addresses it how however long it takes, you know, you, you go. Do your thing for for as long takes you can't claim to be the number one defense in the NFL if you're missing one of the best pass route in the league and another loss that maybe on the surface didn't look like it was much because he's forty years old. Terence Newman was sort of forced into retirement and now he's on the Vikings assistant coaching staff this year. But they had so many communication breakdowns in the secondary. If you look at how tight ends of performed against the Vikings, there's been some ugly, big time plays with tight ends and running backs out of the backfield because they just don't between. I'm gonna go really meat and potatoes. Football on you here between linebackers and nickel cornerback. There have been some major. Communication gas that just didn't happen with parents. Newman was on the field. It was like having an assistant coach on the field. So I just don't think it's possible to stick the flag in the ground of number one defense in the NFL anymore with those two pieces missing. So the Rams already have the best offense in the league right now. And they're gonna say something far removed from the best defense in the NFL tomorrow night. The flip side of that though, we're talking with Phil Mackey ESPN twin cities is that the Vikings won't be facing. The best version of the Rams defense definitely going to be without cornerback. Keep to Leib could be without Marcus Peters. The other families to limited Mark limited the other ball hawking corner that they have. How do you expect the Vikings to react to that potential thing. The the problem is the Vikings are gonna listen to a negative. I am right now the Vikings we're gonna have to their their offense. Headline is so ravaged. I don't know if you can pick apart the ram secondary if you don't have time to throw. I mean, Kirk, even when Kirk cousins wasn't getting destroyed by bills pass rushers. He was Aaron on throws because it was obvious. He was waiting for somebody to knock his head off his shoulder pads. So I, I do think if the Vikings can get some quick hitting offense to Delvin cook, assuming he plays and their two star wide receiver Stefan digs. And Adam seal who really are legitimately two of the top ten or twelve wide receivers in the NFL they can run any route yards after the catch. They're very quick tough to tackle. I think that's the plan. If you, if you can't get quick hitting stuff to those three players, it's going to be really, really hard on the road short week, no offense of line. It's gonna be really hard to come away. With enough points to win the. I mean, you're, you're gonna have to score at least I would think twenty one or twenty four points to even be in the conversation. That's my guess. And it sounds to me in Phil, if if I understand you correctly that hypothetically, if you had the ability to start both digs and Alvin cook in your fantasy league that you probably wouldn't. Hypothetically, I, I would I if it's PT are starting all of those guys all the time. If you go Phelan's another one, if you go look, if you're gonna PR league feeling in a completely completely garbage game by the Vikings. Offense caught like fifteen passes for one hundred yards or something like that just with underneath stuff. So I'd start them on. I would start them all even if it's a blowout talking with Phil Mackey, ESPN twin cities, Donald show candidates. He brothers and a he. Brian came in at ski seems that the Minnesota Timberwolves will not be starting Jimmy Butler anytime soon. How professional sag there there wasn't. You can learn from how Andy doesn't don't don't care how good you are. You can always learn a tip or to how we operate it right there. Things get. So messy with this organization to where we are right now. How much time do you have? Oh, my gosh. I mean, this literally goes first of all, Gwen Taylor is the common denominator. He's been the owner since the mid nineteen ninety s and so he has overseen, let's make a list paying Joe Smith under the table in nineteen ninety nine losing four first round draft picks. He has overseen the drafting of two point guards before Steph, curry was taken by the Golden State Warriors, the hiring of David Kahn to be the team's general manager of Kurt Rambis to be the team's coach and of Thomson widow to have more power than anybody in the NBA outside of break Popovich and all of it has blown up in his face tons of those entire plan. What's to bring Jimmy Butler in via trade and then basically bring back the two thousand thirteen bull supporting cast to go around him and teach the young guys, a few things in the process. All they've done is create their own small island Butler and Thompson potato, and they've alienated one of the Br. Right young stars in the NBA and Karl Anthony towns. And in that process, the Butler competent relationship went awry sometime this summer too. So I don't see how you can keep Thomson at, oh, employed as the president of basketball operations in coach. If he continues to try and bake for Butler to come back and Butler's agenda continues to be get outta here to Miami, get to the clippers, whatever it may be. Your only goal is a franchise should be to build around Karl Anthony towns for ten years. And I'm I'm looking at those thinking, how can Thompson, but possibly be the one to pull the trigger on the right trade that complements, Karl Anthony towns like this. This is gonna be an incredible forty eight hours assuming the Detroit goes down before the end of the week. From your perspective, how did the relationship between Butler and Tibbs and of Sarah? Because you keep hearing everything about Butler, feuding with Karl Anthony towns or Andrew Wiggins, but not as much about any friction between him and Tibbs. Yeah, and and maybe I oversold, I don't think there's. In between those two? I think it's more between Jimmy Butler slash Andrew Wiggins and Karl Anthony towns. And I mean, you know. Jimmy Butler or sources close to him were quoted in the Chicago sun times recently saying something along the lines of you know you. If you got a group of kittens, you're not gonna win a championship or something. It's like, well, Karl Anthony towns is the best player Jimmy Butler has ever been with, and that includes Derrick rose in my mind. Now he Jimmy Butler came in two thousand eleven two thousand twelve. The bulls after the Derrick rose MVP season. So post Jericho's MVP compared to Karl Anthony. Towns has been the last couple of years. I, I don't really understand why he's so quick to go away from potentially ten years of Karl Anthony towns dominance. I mean, are you really if you wind up in Miami or the or Brooklyn with the nets or even the clippers? I mean, are you are you really in a better situation? Unless you can get quiet Leonard to join you that maybe that's the calculus is like you're, you're planning on that next guy. Just think it's really interesting fill that so far. The four teams that we've heard from Jimmy Butler camp are all worse. Than the team that he currently plays on butter in big markets and he can be the guy thing as interest. Correct? It is interesting. I actually I wouldn't like two months ago at the baseball trade deadline. I was on with with John Ireland and Mike Trudell earlier in the day, and I. Brian does your for five minutes grade, but I want to ask you guys, if it'll ask you the same question if prompted will pick up the phone right now and call the Lakers and said, all right. And I know you could just wait till next summer because you've got the cap room and you can add him if you wanted to whatever, but would with the Lakers be willing to give up either Brandon Ingram or Kouzmouk for Jimmy for one year Jimmy, I certainly hope, no, no thousand times. Now I'll tell you why. I have a theory that Tom dividend might be the world's most patients serial killer and that his actual MO is to kill literally kill every player that plays for him. And he only brought back Lou all dang, like because he had unfinished business like that, what you know what? I don't want any part of Jimmy Butler because he he's played too long for tips in that age. Is you right? That's the other thing like who's gonna give. I know that his his his bird rights are gonna lead to a one hundred ninety million dollar five-year extension with whoever has the next summer to your point. He's twenty nine and he's and he's at that age where like wall dang needed a spinal tap three years ago and not that that's directly correlated, but and Deir Eric rose has has played what like five minutes since his NBC's in. And so why is Jimmy Butler going to be different in the next four to five years? I'd be worried about that. Not going to happen, fill Mackey, ESPN twin cities. Thanks so much of the time. Really appreciate it. Yeah, thanks for having me. So Phil what feels talking about here and he gets to something I've written about for the Atlantic and it gets to something about like how the Lakers are planning on making this thing work going forward when it gets that next because it's not gonna be as easy as you think. But first before we get to that next, I want to tell you about Harris casino Indy, please. They're doing it again there a Harris. In the beginning. I was going to read this because you going to do that made more sense than if you want to chance for. Tonight's state hairs resorts. So Cal three buddies, five hundred. And spending cash and transportation to and from your place. Just text fun. Four zero, seven zero. Five techs. Funner f. u. n. n. e. r. two four zero seven zero five for chance to win spend a weekend watching college and pro football, all from Harrah's resort funner. California's where your wildest dreams come true. That's where they dream. It's where the dream, Andy go to visit or dot com. It's not a word. It's a place go to visit fun or dot com. One entry per person. Standard text messaging rates apply. Text f. u. n. n. e. r. now two four zero seven zero five sit on a show ESPN LA I'm a fun guy. Now funches in the spirit of things. On your ride home tonight. Let's all lean into white boy Wednesday as declared by LeBron James years ago. I mean there's a long time ago when I used to wait tables and have Romero at the breadth reporters tail center parted feathered hair. I used to wait tables at the Brentwood Chin-chin and Steve Perry came in and was in my section and he the first ball greatest part of this is he came in still looking like it was nineteen Eighty-four like yet on pair light like powder, blue jams and like tangled jeans. Yeah. Oh, no. He looked straight out in one thousand nine hundred four and he was the most high maintenance bleep it. He bleeper you've ever seen. He had a side of like a ram akin of every single side. Your restaurant? There was one point he started. I swear he was ordering steamed pot stickers and he's like, I want them steam, but not too steamed. Can I get them out dente. Are you kidding me? Another Steve, Perry news. He's got a new single coming out in October a couple of weeks and it's called no Erasun with an apostrophe and just like, don't stop believing there. I don't know any other songs on this album. That is a non zero percent chance that every song on the album ends with an apostrophe, all of them, he the behind the music journey. Yeah, it's right. It's great. It's the greatest thing, but the best part of it is he's talking about when the band's breaking up like he felt like he lost his place in the band, and he used to feel like a focal point. And then he was the only guy anybody knows they'll mail shown spoke once. Nobody knows anybody, but you kidding me. He is as as mom would say, a piece of work, challenging anybody who can name the drummer to journey. Knows Perry and the drummer journey. Unbelievable again, explains why he was so high maintenance and Chen Jin. Kevin Inskeep brothers in for Sodano on white boy, Wednesday, as declared by LeBron white boy. Oh boy, which means the white guys get to choose the music Lakers practice. And since LeBron runs everything now with the organization, including what happens at the flagship, no Sodano today, and you get us. In stereo. So are we going to be able to play the game? So you got able to do that funky. Yeah, we got some voices. So we got glass guys and honor of the Leonard laugh. About about ten minutes, fifteen minutes. We're play name that laugh that's coming up, but we were talking to fill Mackey. Oh, that what's going on? I just met the guy. Maybe maybe you guys know Phil, Maggie really. Well, I'd never heard of it. I'm sorry. I had to remember his name. I had look it back up on the board. He's continuing you guys apart, Phil Mackey fan club, but he's talking about how you know the Jimmy Butler thing fell apart and all this and the options. Anyway, you were talking about like the options of where Jimmy Butler wants to go and buy, supposedly, maybe more interested in the clippers in the Lakers. Jimmy Butler didn't put the Lakers on his listen more of these people are coming out, and I've kinda wondered if the Lakers in some way in terms of building the super team in getting two or three more guys to come, whatever one or two more guys, whatever may almost did too well in the off season by getting LeBron because LeBron is too good. And so if you're Colli Leonard and you're a top five guy in the NBA and you're, you're a finals MVP go, do I wanna come to join LeBron's team? And it doesn't matter what they pitch. It's going to be LeBron's team every team LeBron plays on his team, Jimmy Butler. Does he want to do like. Does everybody wants to come an automatically be second fiddle where if you goes to Brooklyn and joins with kyri, although that I'm just looking like it's gonna be off the table. Kyrie Irving was on the jump with Rachel Nichols and said that they've got a pretty good thing over there. And he does his true Dun picture himself leaving. But you didn't Tango, you never know. Boston's gonna want to give them the money, look injuries, whatever it might be like that guy like Jimmy Butler or Paul, George, or some of these other guys can kind of convince themselves that they're on equal footing with somebody like kyri with somebody like an can't do that here. And so if you are someone like Kevin Durant, can't leave Golden State where he was criticized for hiding behind the greatest team in the NBA and then come here where he'll be criticized for hiding behind the best player in the NBA like stuff like that. If you care about those things, I'm gonna like Durant. It does. Well, lot of players do. That's what makes his comp. I mean, a lot of players get caught up in credit and the credit game. It's one of the reasons why you know Klay Thompson, for example, strikes everybody as a great potential free agent at bring in for LeBron not just because we love clay, we love Michael, that sort of thing, and not just the skillset. He does not give a damn, but any of that stuff. No play does not care about the credit. And he's also like he's perfect come here because he's already slotted in that thing. He's already been this in the second third guy, whatever. And if he stays in Golden State is gonna be the second. Third, fourth guy there. He's never going to be the a in any probably any system regardless of where he goes, I it would be kind of amazing to me if after all of this where they couldn't attract anybody here and they kept trying and thankfully got lucky. And everybody kept saying, no, there's certain irony to Lakers not being able to attract the next free agent because the first one that they attract us to. We, it's complicated me playing with Kobe, for example, and it's not a total apples to apples comparison. Because during Kobe's prime minister had cap space, you know the narrative that free. You never really got to test that because the Lakers were never in a position to actually bring in free agents. But Kobe has said before, you know, playing with me is not for everybody, and it's a little bit of different reasons than for LeBron but playing with LeBron is complicated and it's not going to be for everybody. And we've seen kyri Irving wanted out. Paul, George didn't even want to give it a shot. It's not going to be for everybody playing with LeBron and everything that comes with being a teammate of LeBron James. And I think the Paul George thing too. It's like in his head, he could kind of look at and be like, well, wait a second. It's going to be LeBron LeBron's already there and George must have known it well in advance. Like which way the wind was blowing here in Avio people in l. a. were like, seems like he's coming here like the reporting was like l. as like looking like the favorite now and all that stuff. So we know that then he knows that. But then it's like, well, they're also they're looking for Kawhi too. It's like I'm gonna come home going to be this conquering hero, and I'm going to be the third guy on this team right away. I don't want that. I'd rather stay in Oklahoma City where I'm not the one that's Russ's team, but man like the whole city was trying to keep me here. And I, you know, I get it. I mean, I understand like if I was that good at it too, I'd kind of want a little more. It depends. I think also too, if there's somebody who becomes a free agent again, Klay is a great example of this who already has championships, like one of the things that makes the calculus complicated and interesting with a guy like Leonard is he's already won a championship and I'm sure he wants more, but he's not desperate to get a champion. Chambliss final semi. He has one and that changes things with Kyrie Irving, it changes whatever decisions he makes because he knows he will retire with at least one time. Do you buy, but you by by the way, the kyri idea that two sides of it that he wants to stay millions willing to stay. Boston with all the the, the loading up. They done the stars if they have kind of coming up around him or laying also to do you think Boston wants to give him that much money. I'll tell you my answer next to both of them. Both of them ESPN let. I'll tell you what I'm starting to think funchess is enjoying this more than he's letting on. Bye. This is up there. This is up there for anthems. When it comes to wipe away Wednesday each time we come back in India and we when we get into white boy, Wednesday, I can't decide if it's better to give the context or not. When they have white boy Wednesdays at the Lakers facility, the can't play something this slow right. Maybe stretching. Like a certain temple, right? Like shooting drills, right? Catch shoot. Sure. I was trying to think what would be like the truly like whitest song and like the thing that popped into my head was the pinochle is I was thinking Margarita hill, like Jimmy Buffett. Yeah, Jimmy fits. Fits me the ultimate. He sucks by Jimmy quit a gray song, though. This one, this is a great song. It is a great song. I mean, it's it has jumped the shark multiple multiple times, but it's not the fans. Yeah, but it's not the fault of the song to great song. It's a great song. See, we've made some positive contributions, the white boy. As white boy, say good into two white boys said, no, it's great. How dare you? It's great on of all days on white boy, Wednesday, you disparage sweet Caroline like that, dude out on a Wednesday. You wanted to you wanna do it on Thursday, Mike, that's fine. You wanna see me cut. Someone might. I will cut somebody you despaired Neil diamond and sweet Caroline on white boy, Wednesday, White boy. The white boy today's our day. Mike, I I know that because I have my hand like raised up the show and you guys just didn't go to me. It's not my day. Finally, no, we're catching up around, you know, handle the phones. How far do you think the Lakers and willing to take white boy from? So I'm so tired will say you didn't do anything. LeBron her LeBron the Lakers play, I think. What is it? Five, Wednesday, four, Wednesday games in October. How far they're willing to take it. Travis wear starter, Alex Crusoe starter zoo, starter. Mauve honor. Six-man speak starter. And then LeBron because he's in charge chart. Law LeBron transcends white boy, Wednesday. He's still has the authority to call it off. Right? I mean, it's white boy, Wednesday, jokes joke guys. Get the floor seats on. That's actually also. All sunday. That's not much different. But anyway. What do you think you pose the question about Kyrie Irving a did, how how much time you need funding. We haven't. We have like maybe five minutes. Okay. Okay. Real quick. I think you're having is I think he's interested in coming back to the Celtics is going to be though interesting to see how much that they would be willing to commit to him given what it's gonna cost and the injuries which have been happening at a question. Do you want to give him that much money knowing that somewhere in that deal kyri Irving's twenty five years old, his knees or not. You're gonna lose games in there with a guy who's not that productive. He's gay. It's hurt. I will in a weird way though I would rather give all that money to kyri Irving even if he might be more of an injury risk because you know the team that he's on is good enough, right? They can afford absent exactly. Jimmy Butler. It seems like you're signing him to be the guy, and I really worry about that body. All right. More importantly, we've all heard this from Leonard, the famous now Kawhi Leonard laugh. From his media day, press conference. So Michael funchess has gone and he has found six different lasts six different labs re of him came from our staff that eater works on his staff now or worked on a south before ESPN, LA talent talent, and also three more famous Elliott fleets. Okay. We're to do name as your buzzer. Yeah. All right. Laughable. I one. Yeah, was going to get this right away. Brian. That is. That is the whitest laugh on. Good way Wednesday. All right. Here's the next one. Can I hear that again? Please? Brian. We wasn't on staff. It sounds like Kobe though. No, I told you it's six. Let me together Gobi you got it. Up two zero. Andy. Number three. Andy Sodano. No, no. You made giving them one more time. I'm going to say Marcellus. No. Okay. Like a little snarky laugh. Sean, that's key. I, I'm not familiar with key laughing. I, I really have no idea what that so we got it. Up shaking your head. I'm kidding. All right. The next one. Famous l. a. athlete. Do we have that done. Why would that be all the things that have survived the purges in the system that thing survived. I have no one more time. Andy, go handy magic. No, no, no. Do you guys want to know now it's OJ Simpson. Oh. Oh, yeah. That sounds creepy. That's gone fun from fun too creepy. Okay, we're, here's our second to last one. Also. Famous Elliott athlete. One more time. It does sound like Kobe, Bryant, Kobe? No. Okay. I thought maybe. LeBron Andy? Yeah, LeBron. All right. And it can pull into a tie. If he gets this and we got the last one here. Brian, that sounds like Saddam Sodano. No, in one of his looser moments. One more time. That's creepy. One more please. Marcellus? No. Who is it max Kellerman. Oh. You still got maxima system Matt. That actually kind of bothers me because so many of our drops and is sound gets a raced all the time, but Kellerman who hasn't been there. What like three years. Same, right. He's still laugh laugh though. Been taped over yet. I don't know all the things of ours, Wednesday. Pre-nup flies Wednesday. You start with Ireland and you finished with Kellerman. Yeah. Have not heard that laugh in a long long. I don't remember max laughing, like he laughs like that. Yeah, I remember next laughing. Well, I wanna thank both of you for coming in a white boy, Wednesday. Very professional. Best one Ireland's got like a real, Robert deniro in Cape fear to his laugh. Like when he gets going, his laugh can be very, very unsettling. All right. Coming up next sterban. Ducks kings Sodano show candidates. Keep brothers ESPN LA.

LeBron LeBron Lakers Jimmy Butler Rams ESPN LeBron Andy Vikings I. Brian Phil Mackey LeBron James LA Kobe Paul George Colli Leonard NBA Kyrie Irving NFL Sodano Klay Thompson Everson Griffen
The Sedano Show [Hr 3]

Afternoons with Marcellus & Kelvin

44:21 min | 2 years ago

The Sedano Show [Hr 3]

"Here's some some Katy Perry white boy once. I love Katy. Let me tell you Bob and you're shaking your shoulders. Do I know this? Not what you tell me. I would know if you know it just hardy yesterday I did. Yes. We talked about it yesterday to remember the bull in Florida. Oh, bone, Florida, Honey, whose Florida. Is very small. Brian for people weren't listening yesterday, Donald show, brothers, indoor score. Bryan. Bryan saw a billboard for the rapper Floride rider flow rider and asked his wife, Honey, whose Florida. I'm I'm a good time span. What do you want from me? I didn't. I knew who flow rider was. The guy it is fitting that we tell the story again on white boy Wednesday. Yes, that's right. I, I am. There's a reason I'm here. Exactly. That is why KFC brothers infra Sodano not white enough. We're talking about the second best player on the Lakers right now because when it comes to the depth of this roster for as many players as they have, you can make an argument that there isn't necessarily a clear separation between three through eight. Like there's three through ten, three through ten, like they're already given day the some of those guys are going to be indistinguishable, which I right. But number two in your mind is pretty obvious mine. Yes, it's Brandon Ingram, Brandon? Brandon Ingram is an needs to be the second best player on this team. They for a lotteries because next year summer of two thousand nine hundred Magic Johnson goes out and gets the next guy, which I for all the we maybe we'll talk about later in the show. There are a lot of reasons why. I think it's me little trickier to make that happen. You can look at the Jimmy Butler thing and how that's played out the Kawhi thing. What's happened there and it's not. Going to be as easy as I think people think. But I do believe still the Lakers will get that guy. The player that fits best with anyone in terms of overall skillset doesn't need the ball, whatever might be is Brandon Ingram. And so not only do, I think is the most talented of the guys this year. You know, not maybe not at this pure score Kuzina is, but he's got the whole deal and it's really important that he become a because when you get three, oh, when you have that extra superstar score guy, what Kouzmin does best becomes less important? Well, it's like the way Lamar Odom when when he was supposed to be Kobe's number two, that was not a role that he could handle with consistent now. But once they brought over pow Ghazal and Lamar became three or four depending on the way, Andrew bynum was planning. He was guy of it was definitely the third, but I'm just saying there were times when he could actually be the in terms of just no question stats. Then all of a sudden, you know, just disappears, right? So often then. When Lamar Odom looked like an incredibly valuable player which by the way he was right. The real question that I think is an as I totally agree. It's Brandon Ingram. I think branding room is clearly second second, most talented player on this team. How quickly assuming you think that this can happen? Can Brandon Ingram become the guy who makes you think twice about whether or not you actually need to go out and get that second person. I'm not saying you wouldn't do it anyway. Well, how quickly does that hacked? See I jump the gun. I thought you were going to say that third person, but like, yeah, I like, you know. Because like you know, do you have three stars? Because really you need the big three. There's got beat. Really good more than he's. I think it's fair to expect Michelle this year, whether it's him coups Mua. I don't think as much as we love these guys and I love him and utilize Mandy and Lakers fans love these guys. We see them every day we see the potential of the EU overrate. You tend to overrate your young players versus other people's. They're doing this in Denver. They're doing the same thing talking about how Jamal Murray could be the next one of the next superstars in the NBA. Is he a better young player than the ones that we have here. No, maybe I don't know. He's really good. So my point is not talking about the players, but it's easy to look at what's in front of you in kind of fall in love with you see him every day. You know, the personalities, but Ingram overall, I think can absolutely slot at no worse into that third guys where you feel like, oh, if we got next year, like we don't have to go get another dude because now it's Kurai LeBron Ingram Kuzina Lonzo over here. So unit, those guys have an established themselves as all stars yet. They're good enough. They are tall enough to ride the ride. Yeah. I mean, what I think is interesting about the point you made with it being easy to fall in love with these kids that we watched play every day and we've seen progress within you get you get invested when you're spending this much time focused on these players. The flip side of it though, and I know you and I have both fallen into this before, and I think at times we've fallen into it in particular with Kobe, where if you see a player every single day, you can fall. Of with you, see, but also their false become more magnified. And there are times where you can actually see their faults bigger than they actually are because you're comparing them against faults of players that you don't see every single day. You know what I mean? There are times when sure the faults that you see every single with your super well, they start seeing more singular to the players that you're watching every single day and you start, you don't necessarily assign those same faults or different faults of equal value to other players that you don't see all also to the better you get the, the more, the more the higher the expectations are the more established. You are like, look if Lonzo were in year seven instead of year two, it would be a different discussion, obviously, because right now it's still okay for Lonzo Ingram, coups mode ever to not be as good as they're supposed to be when you get to be that part where you're you're supposed to be the superstar, then yeah, you're flaws your, whatever. Even with somebody is good as Kobe. Kobe job was to win a tight. Well, every year, hell he told us that and you know, some of it's stupid and unfair. It's like, you know. Gee, that when we re everage fifty points a game, like what's he doing now? He's only averaging thirty like, you know, he, he can be better. Yeah, that happens. But they're still that wiggle room in the potential right now? The youngest, but I, I think it's very possible with the end of the year, Brandon Ingram, you look at them. And so that's the other guy. Now we just filling with one more established by whatever it is. Then we're good like we don't need to. We don't need, you know, two and a half, whatever it is. The rest of the is here and they have the room. That's what they only need. One guy in the thing though. That's, I mean, the beauty of a guy like Brandon Ingram is no matter who you end up bringing in for the Lakers as that second. All star. Second, all NBA caliber player alongside LeBron whether you're talking about Jimmy Butler, Klay Thompson, Kevin Durant, you know the usual names that get tossed around. It's so easy to pick your brain in Ingram playing alongside any of those an easy one. But this is this. We did a thing on the podcast. Andy, where we talked about the witch of the Lakers young guys were like most indispensable. You had to trade one of them, what would you do it? And I always I put coups methodic like he's the guy. I would. I would go hard. I, I'd trade him. I if I had to treat Kouzmin next I would keep Lonzo and I would keep Ingram in that order and I kept Lonzo over Kouzmin because coups moas skill set. His specialty scoring is less important when you have LeBron and star acts who's coming next year Lonzo is the opposite of that. The thing he does best is get the ball to all these other people. Low usage doesn't need it yet makes the whole bunch of other well, all the other stuff but doesn't need to score does it. I think I get Britain even want to get right, gets rid of the ball, doesn't want to hold it, low usage, all that stuff. That fits perfectly on a team where you have three dominant scores. And I think Ingram is is the best combination all that because he's the most talented well rounded player. Yeah. The complete player that Brandon Ingram wants to be. He's talked about this before that. He wants to be this really versatile skilled player on both sides of the ball, like somebody that maybe he doesn't have this really outstanding strengthen one area where you look at them and say, okay, he is one of the two or three best players in the league at blank, but there's nothing that you look at him and say, he can't do being a seven on a one to ten scale at everything. Yes, makes you awesome. Well, I, I remember when Brandon Ingram I came into the league, the comparison was automatically Kevin Durant because they were both tall. They were both skinny. They're both second overall. And to me, the guy that I always thought about with Brandon Ingram is like a rich man's Andrea Gonzala. Yeah. Yeah, without the guns without without the guns. I mean, he's, he's never going to have those guns under Ingram. Brandon Ingram has some of the underlying dollar has some arms keep going, Michael Thompsons jealous of those arms. But Andrea Godiva, it's it's easy for what he was in. Philly was swift army kind of guy. He was unbelievable at it. And to me Ingram seemed like he could be the rich man's version of Iggy dollar because of the wingspan and some of the size of some of the things that no matter how hard Andrea Gonzala tries to complete himself as a player. He can't replicate the extra wingspan than Ingram mass. I I, if we could be, you know, we're starting on Sunday with our first post game show of the year, and you'll be on after the game and going through all this stuff. It could start as early as Sunday where we start complaining about the young guys and talking about their lack of delve in. But I, I look at them now and maybe on that guy. But I think all four of the young players like. Pizza is at Laker film room works with his athletic as well sent out a clip that they let you know, they let the media and after practice and you can watch a little bit. It's usually guys doing they're shooting drills, whatever he did like two and a half minutes of speed. Just going around the perimeter. He missed like twice. He doesn't miss shots like that guy. You know Wagner maybe one day when he can get on the floor. Obviously I'm high on Isaac, Banga Andy don't even know what an Isaac Banga is, but they just I think he's going to be good. But like this hard thing where he makes the leap and all of a sudden he's the summer league MVP if he's really that guy that's worth two or three, you know a couple of wins. If if Lonzo shoots thirty seven thirty eight percent from three and rounds out the rest of his that's worth another. That's how they get to fifty three fifty two, fifty three. If you think there are plus fifty team. Yeah, it's gonna be. It's gonna be so exciting to watch starting Sunday again, all your coverage can be found right here. He has. ESPN LA this. There's so much just intrigue with this season so much that we have no idea what it's going to look like. But I mean, we've spent so much time just suspect late imagining but to be even more if I still gonna take fifty games yet and we know what any of this where we're not going to be bored with it anytime soon, the dodgers flips out of this are keeping on more a little any little less boring than they ought to be. We're supposed to wrap this thing up a while ago coming off a bad, four, three loss in Arizona, and there was a stat. Two stats actually mentioned during the ESPN broadcast that have me very concerned about the dodgers moving forward. Explain what those are coming up next. So Donald show ESPN LA Sodano, show cabinets, keep brothers in for George about fifteen minutes. We're going to be joined by j b long. Does the play by play for our coverage of the Rams? They got a big game tomorrow. Football, India's Todd Gurley calls it the dumbest thing in the world. It is the dumbest thing in the world, but at least it should be a good game if you're no won't be, it should be. You just described the problem Mandy. It should be a good game actually going to ruin it. Actually, this year it's all relative, but this year Thursday night football has been some of the better Thursday night football. We've seen a while that's actually been some games on Thursday. See this is where the NFL could really luck out because they're better off scheduling games like Cleveland jets that everyone expects will be the single worst football game of all time. Because all you can do is do better. You know, it's like when the Rams and Niners played last year on Thursday, every thought that was gonna be terrible game. It turned out to be a great one really exciting. It was like the best Thursday night football game in years. But generally speaking, I think when you take marquee teams and you give them a short week, you're setting yourself up to screw up what ought to be a great thing about an hour. We're going to be talking with Phil Mackey, ESPN twin cities. Gonna talk a little bit about the Vikings, but also what's going on with Jimmy Butler. Yes. And this crazy trade demand, most recently linked to the Miami Heat, not quite sure who they're going to be able to send over. I tell you what if they want Hassan Whiteside that can have you know what you can have a son Whiteside with. Waiters chaser ooh. Have you seen him? He's puffy. Oh, my Dion waiters looks like he is about one hundred. Fifty pounds overweight, twenty nineteen. Waiters looks like he eight two thousand eighteen. It's unbelievable. Good. It's it's sort of Dion waiters. He's always had kind of around face. I'm not kidding. Cherubic. I'm not kidding. When I when I saw all of a sudden was going all over Twitter people putting out photos of his media guide headshot. I swear when I saw I was like, wait the heat signed. Glenn baby baby Davis. I really big babies. I'm not even joking. Unbelievable love that it never gets done. Waiters fat. I'm googling at right now. Is he actually Phat though? Yes. Oh, yeah. Like I've seen some people zoom in on like the arm area. There's some like Waddell. What do you call that best? What's the technical term for that part of your, like your of your lower arm? If it waves around, I guess it's a wattle. I don't know. I don't want to be part of a fat shame in culture, but this guy's a professional athletes not fat shaming when part of your job? Yes, fat shaming when you when you look at like you know, John and accounting, or you know, Lucy in sales and you make fun of them for their weight or something like that. That's trashing because those people has nothing to do with their jobs or their lives or whatever Dion waiters supposed to be in shape. He's being paid a lot of money to be fit. So if he's not, that's bad. Yes, it is bad. Speaking of bad the dodgers last night in Arizona, four, three loss after Kris Taylor tied up the game at the top of the ninth. Ground rule, double son, Kika, nana's home and auto Escobar. The first batter faced by Kenta my ADA took him long into right, feeding the outfielders don't even look with the ball lands. They just start walking off. I mean, Ken to my eight, it even turn around. You could see was just like, yeah, this isn't going to well, that was bad and that combined with Colorado's ten, three win over Philly. Dodgers and Rockies now half a game apart in the standings tied with seventy losses. A piece Colorado has that extra game to play and there were two stats. Brian. I heard during the telecast on ESPN one about the game, one about the season for the dodgers that I thought were not unrelated during the game with men on base. The dodgers were three of twenty two at the plate on the season. They are now twenty two and twenty two in one run games, and it goes back to the data and the stats that we've heard all season about how the dodgers have struggled in clutch situations. Don't get the hits in the high leverage situations, and you may have heard. The playoffs. All high leverage. Yes. I have heard that. The Sarah right now is high. Lev was like through the, there's a really good chance cardinals are playing right now in Saint Louis against the brewers, and they are down one. Nothing. I believe if the cardinals come back, win that game, Colorado wins tonight and the dodgers lose. It's the dodgers actually half game than behind Colorado in the west, a half game in front of Saint Louis in the wild card. And there's a really good chance. All three of them end up tied at the end of the year, the numbers just the numbers. Don't make sense this year where you look at the run differential team ERA all these are like you'd say they're they're up by a mile, but they're not. And at this point, that's what makes me kind of worried about the team. Is it just not working? I don't have a great explanation for it in the stats. Say it is the the explanation seems to be if you spot the dodgers of bunch of runs and a really great scenario. They're awesome if you put them in a. Tight game or really have to make them fight for a win. They're nice work like how you can be that bad with Reuters and scored. I'm I'm not one of these people. This should play some small ball. They should. They should move hit and run like they haven't done that in three years through. You don't start that in game one fifty seven when you're scratching climb to get the playoffs, you do what your what you do. But what they're doing this year has just been ten degrees off center all year long, and it's just not worth. Here's the thing though. I mean, this is a team that is built in their lineup to be home, run heavy. I mean, they were designed that way by Zayn. That's the analytics. That's what that's the people that they put their. That's what they value. But by definition, home runs is all or nothing. The ball either leaves the park, or it is more likely flying out or striking out. And I think that also explains the run differential where can be so crazy because it really is like this all or nothing type for my said, no, because other teams, it's if. They did this exact same thing next year. They'd probably have eight more wins and they'd be running away with the division, whatever it's division not cooperating will. Yeah, usually the division craps the bed by this point. And I remember last year when they lost September, like all of it, and it didn't matter because they had a seven hundred game lead at that point. And then a couple years ago when they went, you know, what was it like? Thirty eight and four of the stretch that that was effective in part because they never lost. But also because airs ONA went in the tank at the same time. And so they went from like fourth place to first place in three weeks, Colorado isn't going away. I don't get why. 'cause they don't pro. They profiles a middle of the pack, five hundred team, but they're not until you also to what makes me nervous if the dodgers ended up getting in, but they lose the division and Colorado ends up on top the, the prospect, then of playing a series against the Rockies where. Colorado has homefield advantage and they have that one extra game that I don't imagine. Kenley Jansen is gonna be able to play in? Well, yeah, they eventually if they eventually they end up in a series against the Rockies that your best again, the wildcard, they would open up against the cubs, right? But I'm saying eventually the Rockies are still out there, right? So you may not be able to play the and that's a really big deal. I mean that among many reasons is why you wanna make right now. I, it's like you can't like everything you look at the game log. You'd like in your head. Janssen's been really shaky. He's been really bad and he's not kenley and it's and then you look at it and you're like, actually, it's not terrible. It's just like, oh, that game. Oh, that game Kershaw. Like in your head Kershaw is not Kershaw anymore because he doesn't just blow people in and you look at what he's actually done, and it's pretty good like he's been one of their, but then like in its those individual moments, those high leverage things. What was the number three of twenty two. Yeah, right into. For twelve with runners in scoring position. It's. Just usually can't, but is that a fluke? I don't know why that I don't think it is a fluke because you've again, you learned to seven games in it's one hundred fifty. Seven games in this team has not really looked the part like the way last year when they went to the World Series got to game seven. They looked the part like they look the part of a team that could win the world dominated division, had the ace how the offense has not looked the part. And that also explains why if a guy like Clayton Kershaw is starting to decline, even just along the margins when he was so much better than anybody else that that another team will we putting out as their ace, you just start evening that marginal little bit and you, you don't look as dominant as you have been last? I've on as a side. No, I this Clayton, it's like when Kobe started decline and had like rid become the guy who relies on the YMCA old man kind of moves to be as dominant as he was like watching Kershaw now have to. Calculate in pitch in and do stuff like that. He's he's much more interesting to me now than he was even, you know, the giant VIN Scully curve ball thing that you call the beginning of his career. But you know, aside from that though, you know what all this means they'll get in the playoffs in the win the whole thing. I hope so, because we've been sitting here talking about how he don't look like they're supposed to. There's no team of destiny thing. We've tried team of destiny in l. a. with this run of like whatever it is eleven, straight nationally, west titles and they, none of them have worked. So let's try this team sucks. They're under performing. They had no devastation station. One hundred wins by now. They're gonna, screw it up, and you know, Kershaw hopefully walks and all this screw it up, and then they'll win the World Series. Well, no, it's it's not a bad plan because everything else that we've been throwing around for the season one might as well try that as far as teams that don't look like. They're struggling at all. You got the Rams, it's a I know. Excellent. Very professionally. Let you handle this. They're going to be taken on the Vikings tomorrow night. Noah keep to leave. We are waiting to find out if Marcus Peters wheel to play to break it all down. We're gonna talk with j. b. long play by play guy for our coverage of the Rams Giminez brothers, Donald show, ESPN LA, Donald show, candidates, keep brothers in for George and Brian candidates Rams have a huge game coming up tomorrow at the Coliseum on short rest against the Vikings. All of your Rams coverage can be found right here on ESPN LA pre game coverage, beginning at two thirty. And part of that coverage is the play by play man of the radio broadcast j. belong joining the good part of the coverage. Like when we're done with Travis, anything done with Travis is a bright spot. How're you doing JV any Brian doing great and to my knowledge, you're never done with traffic because he comes back at halftime, and he comes back for post game, I think. So you're in for the whole kit and caboodle. Travis is just always there travel site everywhere. He's a lurker just lurking about. So the news, the news came down. Day j b about a keep Toledo. He'll be having surgery tomorrow placed on the i. r. because of that ankle. How big a deal is this for the secondary moving forward? Well, it's a really big deal and he and Peter's in combination have been almost flawless. I mean, they allowed the one touchdown pass against the chargers, but combined just ten receptions for barely one hundred yards on one hundred and fifty, three combined coverage snap. So they had been everything that less need and company planned on when they're able to deal for those two. This off season not being said, going back training camp. This was the position group of greatest strength and depth. And so now that death needs to deliver and we've seen certain portions of it. It Sam shields with an interception against their Zona or Troy hill who was one of the top graded Cornerbacks in the entire National Football League in that late season contests at Seattle last week or last season beg your pardon? When he had to step in for cave on Webster. So they certainly have the pieces to cover up for these injuries even though to leave and maybe Peters you replacing one, it's not. Best corner duos in the league. So you know, Jimmy, I was talking to to Samson. He became in the locker room after the game. He was one of the few guys who kind of honest about how the chargers able to open up their offense a little bit with those guys off the field given what's coming in town on Thursday. I mean, it's not like the Vikings don't have good whiteouts and feeling and Stefan digs, and you have Colorado was a threat and you know, dalvin cook if he plays a good receiver out of the backfield. What what do you think this does in terms of just looking at Minnesota, how do you think they'll attack the Rams? How well do you think the Rams respond yet? Interesting. That Dom Hatfield gets to call up in the practice squad this week because they effectively ended his two thousand seventeen season when he was a thrown into the fire in Minneapolis last year. I'm glad you mentioned Kyle Rudolph because as good as the cover, the corners. We've talked about have been in coverage what they did, especially in Oakland in that second half against your coke. And tight ends, I think, is about most importance as well. So while you're. Covering on the perimeter. You can't abandon Kyle Rudolph, who is the ultimate red zone weapon. Certainly, Kirk cousins, and the Vikings present a challenge. They've been throwing it all over the yard. They've yet to get their running game on track because they've been playing from behind so often. But yeah, I less than ideal match up to be shorthanded, certainly. But you know, maybe it's time for the patch rush to deliver in a bigger way. Speaking of Samson, Abe. I mean, Russian covers kind of how the Rams set this thing up. And so far the coverage has been excellent interior Dominic and Aaron Donald have certainly pressured the quarterback if not sacked and forced fumbles the way that I think they will before all of a sudden done, but especially on the edge and especially against a Vikings offensive line. That's ranked twenty seventh in the league right now according to pro football focus, hopefully the other part of the passing game defense can deliver. And that would be the pass rush to help cover some shortcomings in the secondary JD long. With JD long, does the play by play as part of our Rams coverage? One thing that I think is going to be really interesting about this game Thursday, JV's just the idea that we haven't seen a lot of adversity for the Rams in a bid other than I guess, maybe losing in the first round of the playoffs. But even then there was a certain growing pains at a young team had to get through, and it's going to be an interesting test just to see how the coaching staff from Sean McVeigh down can prepare this defense on short notice for the absence of to leave and maybe Peter's but also special teams, Joe Joe Nansen out and just how they react to it. Yeah, I think that's it. And I think really, that's the story of Thursday night football across the league throughout the schedule. It's a reality that everyone has to deal with. I think the Rams actually in a position where they have to capitalize because there's not a greater gift from the NFL, then they're gonna receive this week to be home before your Thursday night contest to be home for your Thursday night contests and to be hosting a team that's traveling to time zones that's set up for you to win. And the Rams are not at three known a position where it's a must win. However, I think they would do really well to pocket. This home victory, sweep the home stand and move to the second quarter their season at four. No. But we've heard so much about the culture that's been built the standard that's been set and you're right to point out that this is maybe the first opportunity for that to really carry the day whether or not they put the best roster out there on Thursday night, kind of irrelevant. They've assembled a group that at every indication we've been told loves. To play football love studying football as practicing football loves performing on game day, whether that's Thursday, whether that's Monday or whether that's Sunday. So I think you know twenty four hours, we'll know whether or not the Rams want to be on that field more than the Vikings. And if they do, we know on Thursday night, that's sometimes worth points JV. Fascinating talking about that Thursday night thing in the short week and all that, and you're right, everybody's got to play and you're right. The Rams are set up the win. But I mean, Todd Gurley after the game on Sunday was was not shy about expressing his displeasure basically called Thursday night football. The dumbest thing that you can possibly do. What does it do to the preparation, like the difference in how these guys have to get ready for a game like this versus something that where you get the full week, particularly given the potential importance for this, what it might shake out later on in the season in the NFC I let me say great reporting for the locker Mel listen to quite a bit of that driving home from Sunday's game and really well done and girlies comments certainly high on that list. The next headline was Jamie, but you probably also saw the the training tables that they had set up in the immediate massages that were being delivered and how quickly they got to there a week, four preparation. Look, I can only point to a very small sample size so far in terms of what McVay and his staff have been able to do on short weeks. One would be the Thursday night shootout that they won at San Francisco last year that was outrageously good. And then again, this year, coming back from Monday night football on the road in the late window and turn it around and trouncing cardinals team that has been proven to be substandard, at least at this point in the season. So I think it's a strength of McVeigh of his coaching staff, the amount of information they're able to communicate to their group in a short amount of time. They practice in terms of like full, go on the field practice as little as anyone in the league. They are known for having of the neck days, and certainly these are above the neck days and then two of the Vikings, so, and I'm curious to see how they go out and perform in adverse circumstances. I certainly would prefer objectively to be in their shoes, then the Minnesota Vikings shoes, not just because of the. Travel, but how would you like to cope with what McVeigh has put out there in terms of pre snap motion? Window-dressing an offensive scheme on a short week by comparison. That's what I want to ask you to talk to JV long. These boys of the Rams Rams Rams chargers that was last week Rams Vikings, Thursday night. This week. The Rams offense has been unbelievably good at protecting the defense. They have the best third down conversion in the NFL they have by far the fewest number of three and outs in the NFL. What do you think they'll show Minnesota to try to just kind of keep the ball protect the Cornerbacks, protect all the other stuff this week. Why didn't go put it on display? I mean, Jared Goff is playing with a ton of confidence and rightfully so you know, I think this is a fantastic defense at the story of last year. Last week's contest against the chargers was, hey, this is the best offense that the bonded Rams defense has seen so far kind of inverse this week where the Vikings have not found their traction with a new play caller in a new quarterback ofensive Lee, especially if they try and get down and cook in the mix. However, they're still an elite defense even even without Everson Griffen one of their best defensive players. So you know what kind of game does McVay call? How does Jared Goff executed? Despite his feelings about Thursday night football, what kind of work rate is talk girly given. I mean, these are all things are going to determine the outcome on Thursday night, but it's it's not lost on me that the Vikings, albeit in one of the toughest environments. And then in professional football s year are today, the only franchise that has held Sean McVeigh. To single digits. Now, the Rams mustered only touchdown and it was on the opening drive in Minneapolis last year. Granted Cooper cut fumbled on the way in before the half. Otherwise it might have been a different game in a different outcome. But you know, so far at least no one gets McVay twice, and I think that's the a standard and a foundation that they would very much like to set. Nobody has beaten Sean McVay twice. No one has stifled his offense twice and Minnesota gets a shot at doing that on Thursday night. Nobody gets McVay once. I mean as far as the way the offense has been clicking, they're thirty four points a game. So far this season. Is there anything you've noticed even with the the high production, they put out there that still stands out as either needing work or as a potential weakness that can be exploited by defense. I mean, it's your office had a couple of turnover worthy throws in the red zone. I'm sure that's one thing that they would elect to clean up. You're really stretching in terms of like, are you upset that Brandin cooks, all his production doesn't have a touchdown yet even though he's leading the team in catches and yards and penalty, yardage accumulated, you know, Gerald, Everett being, you know, one of the highest drafted players on the offense recently, not yet being a contributing force to that. Offense could be something else to search for, but look at the best offense of line in the National Football League and they wouldn't trade their defensive front for anyone either. And as long as those two pillars are upheld, I think often girly and the trio of receivers are going to continue to thrive in this Rams team collectively is going to be nearly impossible to beat unless they beat themselves. Hey, GB one more thing before we let you go. You talked about the the interception worthy throws including, I think, you know the one that was actually intercepted a over the weekend that Jane's gra-. In the end zone I do you see anything positive from some of that because I actually kinda liked that play only because to me, it's it showed the sort of confidence of of Gough saying, I can put the ball, which we have. You don't always want to try it, but he hadn't shown that kind of confidence. I think consistently throughout his career, I think there's something to be said for that. I mean, look at the two players who have intercepted him in the last two weeks. I mean, is going to be a first ballot hall of Famer before all said and done, and he made an outrageous play Derwin. James may very well be the defensive rookie of the year in the league this season. So those are the types of individual efforts that it takes to create a turnover. Here's another way in which it's productive. The Rams has scored more points off their turnovers in their opponents happening. Your that interception against the charges resulted in a blocked punt recovered in the end zone. And the other turnovers this year Goffin reception girly fumble have both led to two ponds and no damage done as a genius. The it was. It was just a way to get another special teams player of the week, honor in the NFC courtesy of blend Countess I guess j. b. long. He is the play by play man for your Rams coverage. Thursday Rams Vikings from the calcium should be a great game. Thanks for the time. JV appreciate it. I appreciate the invitation. Really enjoy listening to you guys and enjoy reading you as well. Keep up the good work joys reading us. We keep up the good work. How much by the way was I rolling my eyes win. JD was complimenting your reporting, which basically was you just listening to Todd Gurley in a scrawl and repeated going to criticize the girlies this because it was a great answer gave the great football just because I didn't ask the question gbi recorder out. It was. I was recording. It was on. It was pointed in the right direction is a great classy guy, and he's too nice say otherwise, but he's treating you like your Adam bleep and Schefter. I mean, you're just hanging out by Todd Gurley talking. Right word, anything. I was journalism hardcore journalism, you know, with the lower case j. or a song choosy Debbie, journalism, you're doing speaking of the was excellent work with the Rams Gordon j b, this mess going on with levian bell and the steel and James Harrison suggestion out Levy on bells should handle this drives home just how well the Rams are run. We explain that coming up next game against brothers, Donna show ESPN LA. Just funches is off white boy Wednesday. Now. Well, let me look enough three and a half hours is a long time to cater to the host just because they have. Yeah, you don't want to necessarily drive the thing into the ground. How excited is Sodano now? Because I mean, look, we've talked about it LeBron James is in charge. We carry the games means he's in charge of us to Saddam gets every Wednesday off now. Yeah. Today, the white boy Wednesday, like he actually took over for Bronstein LeBron doing the schedule like Adam now has been relieved of those duties and LeBron goes over the schedule, and he lays out who's going to be doing, which shows like Mike is no longer in charge of coming up with Georgia's co host so from no. Right? And they reach out to and it's like related to Wednesday. And I reply not my day. Well, you do tend to get the emails more from Rich Paul or maverick Carter when it comes to coordinating the schedule now over guardians guys, both guys. Travis is going to host with Ireland in the morning. Island will then carry over knows like after noon, not many people know though, by the way like the switch from George in the morning to now in the afternoon, Travis from the afternoon now to the morning that was actually LeBron's call LeBron was actually the guy Travis used to host for three or four hour shows by himself. So when l. z. and key don't show up on Wednesday mornings boy. Exactly. That's why more cell is left. I'm not gonna if I can't do Wednesdays a here, people thought that it was just this huge offer from one is going to be more money, less work, whatever. It's just LeBron laid down the gauntlet white boy, Wednesday, it's about time. We finally got our own day. Well, I mean, I've always said things are finally looking up for white. I've always said it's high time that white people caught a break. That's right because it's never really happened over the course of this history. White people got a good deal. Finally, here that capper Nick and Kenny still exactly like take it easy. I don't see anybody. Kneeling during one of these games for me and Brian. Like somebody ought to be doing this on our behalf. Thankfully, LeBron took care of it. All right. So this mess going on with the Steelers and levian bell. He is still holding out. There is, no, there's the trade talk. They're open now to trades and either talking about it, they're listening. Yeah. And listening to her listening tour does not seem like an any rate. He's going to be playing for the Steelers anytime soon. Although he does need to play with them at some point. Oh, he's showing that it's week ten, right? We had his way if you if he doesn't show up week ten, he doesn't get credit for playing the season. Right? And then you know, he'll he'll he will be a Steeler or something by week ten. So James Harrison of former Steeler was on f s one, and he had some advice for Levy on bell how to handle this quote. If I'm Levy on I'm coming back, what is it? November, thirteenth, I'm going to go out there. I'm going to get my credit this season. I need to do that. I mean, do the best I can to get out of the season healthy for me. I'll give you everything practic- cameras to see me that I'm fine, but getting come Saturday, something right. Can't on Sunday because they're a mess out something else. I'm losing a lot of money. You hear quotes like that about levian bell, which actually kind of a great scheme. It's to be. He hasn't endorsed it Novi I'm Bill, no Levy. I'm bell has not said is what are you going to do? But I'm not the worst strategy it like this is the problem for NFL players like everyone's right here. You know, it's bows bit Libya bell something wrong. He had what four hundred touches last year. Something insane more than that. I think like there grinding them up before you can get paid paid, right, and he wants to get paid paid. And he's thinking about his next contract and I saw Bomani Jones talking to Memphis on high noon. He put it in a really good way. He's, he does not want this team. That knows it's my last year with Levy on bell to grind them up right there. Right? Not their problem. But you see this situation with levian bell and the Steelers, and it just reinforces how well the Rams handled this situation with Aaron Donald told out because that could have gotten messy. There's always a chance when you got a guy in his second straight. Rate. Hold out in a guy air. Donald is a strong willed guy. This could have gotten messy. It have gotten ugly, and whenever it was just it was super professional like you never heard numbers leaking out. It was everything that came out was was sort of very vague, third party. He wants quote, unquote, quarterback money. Okay. We kind of knew that then it just became well, which quarterback are you talking about? Blake Bortles money or Aaron Rodgers money. And if it's and then the rest of it was left. People like us really well. You can't pay but didn't come from from Donald and it didn't come from Donald's people and it didn't come from the Rams and every time MC Sean McVeigh was asked. It was like, you know, we'd love Aaron, we believe it will get done. We. He's a part of our future and all that kind of stuff. And then it did. And that was the end of it. And Khalil. Mack is in Chicago and Levy on bells on a couch and Aaron Donald is playing for the best team in the NFL right now it just speaks to just whether you're talking about the front. Office, whether you're talking about ownership, whether talking about everybody who has a safety with how the Rams are run in the product that they put on the field, they're doing a great job. I mean, I'm not just saying this just because we have either have a relationship with them or they're playing well, you can have dysfunctional organizations that play well, the Steelers are a good team and they've always been known as one of the most well, run organizations in football, but still something like this can have. They have run into that thing in the NFL where like the priority of the player who is correct is runs into the priority of the team who is bringing a probably also correct where the where they are right now. It's gonna be really hard for them to pay bell. I think if you're them, you also realize it's just not. You're working this. We don't want to be here. Don't wanna play for us anymore. And even if we gave them a good offer, if somebody else gives them a good opportunity is going to go there too. And so what do you do like you have to be self interested in football because the team's will cut you. Your career could be over every nickel of guaranteed. Money is the last guarantee. Seed money you might ever get. And I realize you know bells, rich is you put, you know, you wouldn't guide driving down the freeway right now. If you had an opportunity to get eighty five million dollars, you wouldn't pass it up just because you already have thirty in the Bank. What obviously not. I mean, but that's, that's. People to particularly to in the NFL. It's one thing when you're in the NBA and the money's always going to be guaranteed and you can prolong career even longer. You see guys who might take that type of haircut barely anybody other than just these super super wealthy within the NFL ever take a pay cut, nor should they should not take even these slightest haircut because it can all fell apart in a hurry up and look, happiness matters play where you want. Like I agree with people who say like, you know, Klay Thompson who whenever it has yet he can make the most money somewhere else. But if he wants to play in l. a. and that makes them happy. Go plan l. a. you're happy you, you still have one hundred and fifty instead of one hundred eighty. I get that, but this notion that they're supposed to like leave money on the table or get in there and sacrifice mostly for me for us because it makes our Sunday's better go bleep yourself. You can't do that. Well. This situation right now with Aaron Donald. The Rams obviously worked out well, but the Rams are dealing with some adversity as peo- Andy, what there are two numbers for you on how they're going to win this game on Thursday that if they come through with this adversity because he averse, he's on the defense, here's how the offense can win it for you. Are you going to tell me both numbers both of them in the same segment next ESPN Millette.

Rams National Football League Brandon Ingram Kurai LeBron Ingram Kuzina Lon Aaron Donald Vikings dodgers ESPN Jimmy Butler Brian football Colorado Lakers Minnesota levian bell Sean McVeigh Todd Gurley Rams Rams Rams Football Banga Andy
# 383 - Sam Morril & ME

Bertcast's Podcast

1:55:27 hr | 10 months ago

# 383 - Sam Morril & ME

"Guys brand new podcast. Ask and I know a lot of you are probably checking on my instagram stories. Going what the fuck are you doing. I'm shooting TV show in the mountains. It's a at a cabin. So that's what you're watching so I apologize. I wasn't clear on what I'm doing but I can't be one hundred percent clear because but but you'll see it soon Hey Bernie boy world tour. We just added six shows a DC presale starting right now at ends at ten o'clock Thursday night DC. I think I remember these de Saint Louis Tampa Fargo Minnesota and one more Louis. Louis remember anyway. We just added six more shows so go to bur dot com and get your tickets to torstar January thirtieth in Burlington Vermont and then the following week Sacramento San Jose saying both Bakersfield. I'm so excited to go to San Jose because they have the best fucking salsa I've ever had in my life L. Yeah you get more that Salsa I'm grabbing so much of that Goddamn wed we've yeah get the most the best its own. Orange Salsa that Anyone from San Jose hit me up and tell me about that orange sauce now orange. It's like playing really dark. No no that salsas New Mexico oranges oranges ones. I bought back in the tubes and then gave to everyone the squirt bottles. I couldn't stop eating the salsa that day brought home I started making cheese case it with that sauce on it. Is it salsa or sauce sorta sauce. Oh okay yeah talking about illegal. It was the best damn sauce. It's like an orange sauce and it's down towards downtown. And Hey Zeus walk there as Zeus knew about it. He's he's GonNa I think he's GonNa be with me. And San Jose teacher available for San Jose Sacramento and Bakersfield a BURP or dot com. That is my second. We gone or an fucking so excited. I've been since I've been to San Jose since I decided to do this door and I shot the promo video in San Jose. That's been a while but I'm super excited to get back on the road get on a tour bus Buick. My friends the weight loss challenge I I will weigh in tomorrow and I will let everyone know what I way. Okay Oh really yeah. I'm going to look. It's me Joe and Tom were seeing. If we can get down to our goal weights less your goal weight wait. My goal weight is two. Oh five and I think I can do it. Oh I think it depends. I've been eating like absolute shit on this shoot They have these breakfast burritos Britos. Yeah breakfast burritos are kind of an Achilles heel breakfast burritos next level. They're so good it's like it's like an these. Two Mexican guys are making breakfast every morning and they make these breakfast burritos that are fucking through the roof and then some of the crew was like. Hey Brian Haas also and the guys like no no. I'll make some for you and I loaded my fucking breakfast burrito up and was shitting all day. It was like I thought you get their business card for future reference points. Yeah of course Espirito guys. They make great breakfast they do a Veggie one and then a meet one in the meat when I get one and then I put extra bacon in it. I mean I would eat. veggie edgy burritos breakfast. burritos morning noon and night You know what I mean. What are the best breakfast Burritos I've ever had? We're getting to the podcast by the way this podcast cast is one that we had buried and forgotten about. And I'm just releasing now and I have to apologize to Samuel because I we released I another one with him and we had recorded one probably fucking five months ago with him. Is that how old this one is. I think we were talking about the shame. Gillis Shit that's all it is Yeah Holy Shit so this is the second treasure tries your. I just forgot to release it by the way the bill. Oh Burt podcast. is a special thing. Bill and I are doing once a month once a month. We're going to get together and do a podcast and smoke a cigar. It's different than two bears. One Cave Dave. It's it's it's more me bill. Smoking a cigar will release those twice a month with clips every so there'll be a clip coming out every week First half of the PODCAST comes out second week of the month. Second half of the podcast comes out last week in the month and then we'll do like ten minute clips in in between my whole goal is just to bring out as much content as possible. I do I do not mind busting my ass working. Although I've been complaining all day that I had a free day and I haven't had a free day very long to we're looking at doing we're looking at doing a something's burning. There's a porn star that reached out and said she was binge-watching. Ah Thinking about doing a. Something's burn with a couple porn stars. Although I hope she has like a girlfriend that we can do it with you know. I don't want to do a dude and a girl why would be like a third wheel. Why you wouldn't be a third rail with two girls? No I'd be though wheel I'd be tick and so I'm gonNA write a script with these porn stars. Where they have to make out with me is like just a script but no? We're looking couldn't do that. We're going to bring it. I were backed. I've just backed myself into a corner with work and I've been off more than I can chew and I as opposed to letting all leading product suffer. I've decided to focus on this this. TV Show folks on this tour and so. So that is why you're hearing five-month-old Samuel one that I I was like we have any Hudson's like we got one from five months ago with Sam and I was like are you here released. And he's like what thoughts as we did. Another one with them not two. I was like no fucking release it just today with Moshe Casher Not to blow the bank but I think next week we got one with Jason Biggs. Write these in two weeks and two weeks ago with Jason. The bigs hardcore focusing back on the burt cast getting ready for the tour. And something's burning to bears one cave gave Bill Bert Weight. Loss Challenge ends on February twenty fourth. I'm sure we'll do a podcast. Rogan I I just look I know what I enjoy and it's last night. I woke up with a panic attack in the middle of the night and I put on Neal Brennan and Joe Rogan and I listened to him all night and it put me back to sleep. Relax me call me down. Got My brain off. The fact one day inevitably my family will be standing over me and I'll be dying and that'd be freaking out and Liam will see it. She'll go honey. It's okay and I go. No no no no no. I don't WanNa die all thought about last night really. You're a long way from that baby. Doll the the the Twynham not drinking tonight But I think it's about maybe String in a couple of nights together is what happens is we get done the shoot and then party. It's been a long day. It starts at fucking six in the morning and ends at seven at night and so I have a glass of wine and then the glass wine turns into two on the ride home and the woman I get home and and his. That's why I feel like I'm afraid I'm gaining weight as I've been having wine every night yourself at all this morning you did so you know whether or not you've been getting weight. Have you know I have not. You've not been getting not lost any weight and I'm working out every fucking morning before work and then eating eh to breakfast burritos to Burgers Britos. He had cut it to one is hard. Nah Not hard to understand the way my brain works a man who can accomplish Bush. The things that you can accomplish can eat. Whatever he says he can or wants to eat if he really wants to? Today's podcast is brought to you. You buy whoop whoop a longtime partner and the driving force behind this year. Sober October with my buddies. Tom Gird Joe Rogan and Ari Shapiro to kick off twenty twenty. You were all taking on a new weight. Loss challenge going in different diets and exercise in a ton to see what kind of results we can get by the end of February. You worry if you just woke up and weren't following along when I wore woop twenty four seven to understand the impact of no booze. No Bud the know nothing lifestyle. All the tracker changed my relationship with my body. It measures things like resting heart rate heart rate barry ability and sleep. This mountain of data is analyzed is D- by their algorithms that then pluck out the most important factors to help you. Change Your daily behaviors. You feel better when you sleep more. That's a no brainer. But when you don't get enough sleep your brain doesn't work the right way it tricks you into thinking you don't have enough energy for the day and tells you you're hungry hungry less sleep leads to more eating. I'm not saying I'M GONNA stay in bed till march but sleep is just as important to me right now as hitting the gym whoop whoop is the best two out there to help you get better sleep and even has asleep coach which will recommend the sleep. You need to feel your best the next day if you WANNA be better or keep up with me and lose weight to kick off twenty twenty get over to woop dot com right now. Use the Promo Code Bert at checkout for fifteen percent off your membership today. Today's podcast is brought to you by coming co Comey Koto makes great kitchen knives it using traditional techniques. They've just logged their longest blade in the collection epic thirteen inch Yana. Gibbon knife this thing right here. The Second Samurai Sword is so bad ass. There's nothing cooler than have looking forward to cutting an onion. I'm looking forward to cutting something. These knives are Oh my God look at this bad bitch how. How much fun is it? A pull this out when you have people over and you got up a bunch of top Sirloin if grim up and then you sliced into this Eros what night is that. That's half the half. The Fun of having a knife is pulling it out and this type is absolutely absolutely gorgeous. An- comes in his beautiful wood box. I got two knives right here for knives right there is right here. My bad four knives. These Comey Code knives are used by Michelin chefs working at Michelin Star Restaurants. They make great gifts. I'm telling you when I say it's it's always hard to know what to buy a man come around Christmas or birthday or the holidays I I know guy is ever gonNA openness NOCCO. Oh all open these knives. When we were on facetime she got these nine at open it up and I was like are wait to get home? I love these and they're heavy too so these are fantastic and they make a great gift become with these whetstone's so you can maintain the edgier knife and Makoto so confident about their knives that each snipe comes with a lifetime guarantee if you go ahead and buy right now comey was offering our listeners. An extra twenty five percent off sitewide on top of their other discounts go to Comey Co Dot Com and use the Promo Code. Burt cast that's K.. A. M. I K. O. T. Own Dot com slash. Burt cast once again K.. A. M. I K. O. T. O. dot com slash rush. Burt cast thank you coming Koto Sir. Today's podcast is with Samuel. Sam has has to podcasts. Keeping Keeping Joe and pods. Don't lie you can find them where you hear podcasts. And Sam I know you're GonNa see this. Go Wait Oh shit. He never released that. So I'm going to make it up to you guys. Here's where you find Sam right now. January sixteenth eighteenth. He's at Zanies Chicago. Illinois to twenty four th through twenty sixth bridgeport stress factory. Shut out the vinnie brand set February sixth through eighth. He's a good night good nights. In Raleigh North Carolina the thirteenth God damaged during thirteenth to fifteenth the Spokane Comedy Club in Spokane Washington the sixteenth bit more cabaret and Vancouver British Columbia March fifth through Seventh Marquis. Comedy Castle in Royal Oak Michigan. I always wanted to do that club. Yeah Yeah never too late no well. So maybe maybe maybe I'll come in and drop in late March one thousand nine hundred twenty first Gotham Comedy Club in New York and Eighteenth Dude the sixteenth to eighteenth of April. He's on comedy on state and Madison. Wisconsin you can find him. His twitter is Sam Moore M. O. R. R. I. L. and Same with his instagram. He has great. It's one of the best joke writers in the business without a doubt Out Without a doubt one of the best joke writers in the business. One of my good friends. I got a handful of guys out of New York that I've known for a while I've known Sam for a long time. He's just has to solid fucking dude So without further ado I hope you enjoy T- today's broadcast pretty boy world door secret time going back to Tallahassee and Russia secret time don't tell anyone I haven't announced it yet fucking excited getting ready to announce fall dates but birdie boy world tour starts January thirtieth in Burlington Vermont. Ladies and gentlemen. Today's podcast. My friend stand up. Comedian Several are you doing spots out here. I'm doing an hour tonight. At Dynasty Typewriter. Oh really yeah we. Can you do the crossover the rooms and we'll see. Yeah I think so all seen like in is is there like A. I don't even know if there's not seen still in La. I am not here enough. I I liked the store a lot but at the store was booked so then I tried to swamp. So that's it and I asked my agents were can I work and I said how about how about flappers. And she said flappers isn't cool enough. You GotTa Dynasty Typewriter in house like all right. I'll it's so great to run an hour. I thought I loved it. FIVERS is awesome. Do I Love I love Club St. I'm doing a I'm doing a deal of doing a can't talk about it yet. I'm will announce on the podcast when it happens because I'm going to do to flappers. Yeah flappers like six years ago. He always like brought about me and then my came out saw it hit me up. And he's like hey man. Let's do something I liked it. I was like I sat in there and I go your name so familiar and he goes. I met you a flapper. Six years ago gave me my car and I was like the fuck you right. You did no one who ever gives you a card. Do you ever remember you if I could go back in history in my business all the people that said I wanNA work with you. Did want to work with me. They weren't just talking. Shit is just they couldn't 'cause I couldn't green light anything and then once you get to a place where you can start green-lighting stuff all those people show back up and they're like man. I've been dying to work with you for fucking six years and you're like oh I want it to now I get a lot of I want to work with these. Now and dude you're you there's that the New York scene is blossoming in a way that I go. It's just it's just a matter of time until people start talking about New York the way they did in in the two thousand four's and the way they talk about the store right now. I love a man like Norman. Joe Lists you list mackey and Ariz out there. I I watch or go to a baseball game. Yeah Yeah Oh that's right. I saw you and I said are there to mark. Norman's your shirt off and Mark Norman. Heavy shirt on no was on. Oh you're on episode of shirt on Man Yankees but Yeah no it was great. We we got like day. Drunkards me Norman Phil mackey. Pete lays all New York or or is it tele call us a seller whites and but yeah is the best man I yeah Ari Oris like he's almost biblical like he shows. It was up with shirt off like this guy is like not of this world. You know he's our is Arias the I think the the big reason there is such a connect between our two communities he is and not only that but he he just gets. I don't do things during the day just in my hotel room drinking coffee and like he's do that we'll be like the other day. Let's see the Tarantino movie and get drunk all right. He's the only the only dudes that will get me out of my house. He does that to me. Call me up and he goes. uh-huh want to hike and I was like. Yeah I tell you about a secret hike. Promised Tony One knows like yeah and then he pulls picks up and he just shaking. I can't trust you. I know you're gonNa tell somebody like Ari. I want anybody in my head. I'm like I'm definitely not going to not do the hike again and I'm not doing it alone so I will tell L. Somebody and then we do some bullshit hiking. I go halfway through I go. You're right for not telling me a new. Tell somebody your big mouth. I'd say he. He told me a secret one time and he said. Please don't tell anyone and I told to people within fifteen minutes of him telling the when someone tells you not to tell you. Only one to tell like like mark. Norman's my friend like that where like you know. You can't tell them anything. Because he's he's like the New York Post you tell him it's everywhere but no one enjoys the gossip like him are said to me your biggest lying friends you and mark every everything I heard from half half of shit the module good liar because there's never anything that would actually hurt. It's like it's like a market I tell a story about when we toured in Europe. It's going to be a little bigger fucking. Wrap your head around that the fucking comic nick details. I want to know exact details. What was the address? Your local live. I should that makes no sense. He's like I'm going to Puerto Rico and I was like Oh cool. It was like you're going with your girlfriend. He's again and he just lied to the manager. Laser the seller. He's got a corporate in Puerto Rico. But he doesn't have the same agent. She's not getting corporates in Puerto. Rico you know. Oh because she is. I'M GONNA be pissed on my want corporate in Puerto Rico corporate and Puerto Rico. What he was doing the revolution hurt during the game? Written Haiti more mark really is so what was added that group start. How did your your Click Start and like who do you think like doc? Who Do you think your click is like if you had to say like the guys you ain't got within? Don't worry about forgetting people. Give me a few people that you Marg Norman Joe mackey Phil Hanley Unleash Joe List Rachel Weinstein. I'm really close. Funniest shit fills a real kind. He's like a real like he's almost like a British comic where he's just just insulting and rude and I came to the seller. I don't know when but one night and and I've been watching him online. All you guys are murdering with instagram right. Now you've got to kind of makes you jokes dude. I think I've told you this I went through a fucking spiral ears. Where when you posted that man then I watched an hour of your material and it's just it's great because it's just can I give you some critiques? I don't like you in a suit I personally don't like it either. You know You learn you just do you put it together like that now. I never again please never again I now because it's it's old school comedy and I I understand that all you guys have a real image a real affinity for joke writing. I mean the fucking New York. New York scene is like it is it is is it is going to leapfrog everything because you guys are just so fucking tight you know the the thing is like we all. It's weird like you do something like Fallon. You know how they deal with like with like it's a party you gotta wear the suit. It's like the and then you get the party. I can't say I can't say damn like we're GONNA party can do you go so you can't say anything. Yeah it's I saw. I just posted the other day of video suit and I saw the suit. It's a great joke. The joke Outshines a suit. But I was just like. That's not Sam Samson a net shirt that's dangling off. His shoulders felt like it. So you're seeing infill. Hanley Joe McKee normal class of comics. We kind of Joe Lists started a little before us and Joe is like he was an alcoholic back then so he was already like Kinda bidder had him on the podcast he. I talked to yesterday. One of my best friends I mean he he He was Kinda. He was our elder statesman. WHO's already kind of bitter you know? And and Norman I remember Norman the first time I saw him. 'cause he's an open Mike at the creek and he was doing some Shit intendo joke but it was. It was still kind of funny. Yeah you don't like no one. Norman Joe McKee. What kind of funny out of the gate? 'cause they were odd already voices remember seeing Joe Mack Yawn last comic standing and then seeing him hearing him on and being like wait. That's not a character that's really who is. Yeah and and even the same list of Norman Ormond is like hearing them the first time and then meeting them. I remember meeting Norman skanks fast and his shirt off. He was drinking a tall boy and he was like man. Burke Rice her party animal Jews comedy. Hey and I was like Oh my God. You're the same fucking person dude. Yeah we're all the Norman Macintyre the last three like with the last three drinkers in the New York comedy scene. Everyone gets everyone sober night. Can I I'm GONNA have after like chill out at some point because it just hurts my head every day. Oh you do it. You're you're like a few like the Babe Ruth I just. I just went to hot spin class for an hour. Our Yeah I just got done. I was in the pool fucking but I but I have a thing. I'm trying to figure it out. I can't very punitive survive party hardy and I th- I I really I really would like to like a real open minded therapist helped me figure this out. Very punitive and being hung over makes me feel better than being waking up sober so when I wake up hung over I get like. It's almost like my brain clicks into overdrive. He's like dude. We got this. Were just a little hung over. Go to spin. You're gonNA feel better and so my crate that pulled out a spin sun's shining. Get in the car. Roll the windows down still sweating. I'm like fuck yeah I got a day. Abet Adamy. You're you you're Kinda. You're positive drinker. Which is rare like a lot of hung over people are so past? I'm kind of a pessimist over. But like I need to be around people like you. Because you're so you still have domestic. I'm very optimistic. Optimistic Drinker but yeah I understand I do understand like I hate even saying this but like I look Bam Marghera. Have you been following. What's going on with them now? It's like it's just it's not even entertaining. It's like I feel bad for him. I'm like dude. Just I mean everyone knows you gotTa stop like his Dream Come. It's so bad it's like this is like his fifth time and Rehab and every time he does this huge urge instagram plea for help and then they get him help and then he goes into Rehab and checks out within two days and then gets arrested and then goes on a binge and it does. And I'm like I. If that was me I would have stopped the first fucking tallest things you do. I feel like I'm a pretty good drunk. So that's part of the problem is like no one's I've never like I'm never going on like some racist tirade or anything. I'm just like a good like easygoing drunk but I'll say Shit I regret I will say shit so I don't drink on stage is I will get a little loose and I'll say shit that maybe I'm like. Wow you ever convince yourself because you're a storyteller. Do you ever convince yourself you're a better like I've definitely done though. I'm I'm I'm actually better when I drank and I listened to sat and what was that. I said not better when I drink at all. I know that I'm well aware I I came up one time I've been drinking. I had been drinking the on stage for the late show enough early show so early show emerged in the late. Show is just a little all over the map. Yeah that was that was and bill bill. Burr goes yeah. You drinking being the same reason. Why don't you drive a car when you're drinking your all? Your faculties aren't there. I was like Oh yeah. He's obviously but we don't think about it. It's so funny. But rogan likes to get a little buzz before he goes on stage. Alcohol both hit vape pen or blunt and then and take a couple of shots Out on stage. And I'll do that but do that with Rogan. Like if. I'm with him or like Tom doesn't really do it. So much per se but Thomas it broke his back back in the back stage at the store and he's like who shop before we go on stage. I'm in I don't know I liked that Russia. One shots great for going on stage. You know Yeah I've done a I one of my best late night. Says I had a couple of shots before I went out there. I don't I don't WanNa do that but I really like it. Yeah I would. Do that would be so funny before I did. Gem County Central. I had to go out and give like this very thoughtful. Three minute bit. It happened it had to be heartfelt. It felt funny and I was really nervous about because I was like. It's gotTa be three minutes. I knew the beats but I just wasn't over thinking it and so I grabbed a double T. doesn't soda and right. Before I walked off stage. I slammed it and I and the second I started my thing. I felt it wore me up and I was like. Oh Yeah we used to. They used to say did that was Mitch. Hedberg he'd like going it's always going. You're like citing guy died of heroin. You know who used to have one drink and then a shitload of heroin era era would be so awesome to write on. I mean do cocaine never do. Isn't that crazy cocaine onstage. We can get into dangerous territory right now if you could if you could manage it like legit manager like no one can do for that but it'd be like if you could be like I'm going to have just a little bit of coke a little bump key most addictive substance this. This is my third coffee. It's not even ten. Am You know. I can't I can't that's why I don't do it. Dude thank you have just a little so like when I worked at the Boston Comedy Club when I worked the door one night. You saw an awesome generation. You a part of this awesome January. I was behind them. You a young comic man but you you were kind of a park because you knew Giraldo in Giraldo and tell Jimmy Johnson Jaffrey over here. Yesterday Patrice Patrice Norton. Bob Kelly P Cory Ali Jay. Mohr Dave Chapelle. Tony Woods Godfrey. That whole group was was all a classroom. Asser classes ahead of me now. I would argue that even guys like Chapelle and Jay Moore and all those guys were roughly in the same classes. They were young but they were in a tell Sarah Silverman's class technically right but his favorite comic to this day. I mean he's I think the funniest person person he is the funniest human being He was also like the coolest like when I was young when I was young he was the cause. St At the cellar which is booked me on the late. It shows every night and I'd be like God damn another one spot but then I get the hang out with the television. You're right in his wheelhouse. Woody enjoys what. He's the most supportive and he's do. I can't how many times he would challenge me on the road where he'd be like you're gonNA come out the end. We're going to wrap and I'd be like Faulk fucking it's just like shoot around with Jordan. I'm like what the hell yes bomb a little bit and he'd save it every night and then he'd he'd be the one in a bad mood on the drive back where he'd be like God. I'm such a fucking hack and they'd be like dude. We all think you're the best like one better when you guys but we used to open for a tell. How great is that? It was the best I I loved it man. Who's like he would? He'd such an irritable driver. You know we're both New York. Yeah he's that's how bad I am driving that he's a better driver driver than me. So he's he's such a whole time Mattel driving is like he looks like a kid. It looks like well. He's just both hands on the wheel like this chain smoking and he just keep swerving out of the way. It shouldn't go in sorry. Sorry smoking cigarettes in the car. Windows up Oh yeah. I was dying to arriving when someone's mom brutal but No you learn toast drinking. Yeah but he was just he was. He works so hard. Did you know new shit. So is so inspiring. That's how intense of a talent. He is his brand was drinking and late night and he quit drinking in it. No one unnoticed really. Yeah Yeah I mean he's just he's such a pure comic man he just and he's never. I mean I wish loved himself a little more because he is we all think he's like the best but ah I think if he loved himself he'd be like the guys we don't like well. I just took a little more. You know even still the comics that loved themselves. I shouldn't have said that sounded like self help me but I mean like just liked himself a little because he he deserves to be you know I want to satisfy but he deserves. I feel good about you. Deserve to be. I was talking to him on the phone I was talking to do you have A. Do you have a bit about a midget sauna tricycle cicle. And you're like no I don't no one has paranoid that everyone has the same. Oh yeah bit were you. And it's never it's always the most obscure original angle. He wanted talk about something. That wasn't jokes right. which is like? I'm bad at talking about jokes. I'm just everything I write is a tad bit lower lower brow than what I think people expect me to write. That's where my I don't know menu fucking you're great storyteller storyteller. I think but my my when it comes to like a joke like my jokes and I have a couple. Yeah early on you more of like a joke guy and then you kind of and then you kind of became longer form but I remember when I first worked with you I. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't really know your comedy comedy. That much and I was like. Wow he's re. I remember being while he's really a great storytellers ago. Great show style to to do well especially in funny bones internship where they're not paying attention to get good at on the road could. Do you feel that way when you when you when you were newer headliner. Will you like fuck. They're just like tuning out in the middle of the story. was that drive you nuts. I gotta be honest with you. My style developed because of podcasting because nine years ago. I'm guessing nine years ago. I think first time I did. It was like nine years. Go maybe eight years ago At the time I was was a would say a little hack a lot happier than I am now like I was just kind of like I had good stories but none of them were longer longer than like five minutes and so so I always jump in and jump out and if it was bombing at some point I could bail on it. It was until I started. retelling the machine story that I found my found my I found comfortable comfortable in silence and I was. I was a lot more and then became a lot more McConnell stage because I bombed with that story so many times like Obama that I'm going to say four years that's not accurate. Probably a bombed legit for year with. That's one I put that that up as one of the best standup stories. I've ever heard because I remember. I worked with you right after that. Kind of blew up on Rogan. I think and by the way remember. We're both selling t shirts. I was on teachers on the road. I don't even know you and I just opened up my bag and you put gay porn. And they're GONNA light this guy's do. We went to hooters and watch the remember that we went to WHO and watch the Knicks and I was like it was like legit one of the best in Connecticut. Yeah such a fun weekend and I was like Oh my God. What a like when you don't know who you are always featuring like every weekend back then and when you don't know who you're GonNa work with and you get someone who's just fun and cool it was like degrade should keep going though? It's the greatest thing. I was just arguing with someone the other day that One of the reasons. I never took my team on the road with me is that I like meeting. Whoever they have booked with me don't you? Hey by the way when you're agents agents who like we're bringing the whole team team what are we what are we. The eighty-nine Lakers dude. I was like two of them. Never met like that. The team like that's not a team you'd meet the team that sounded like Seinfeld. And what's the deal and I remember I remember Jo Koy brought crystal the. I've talked to christly Joe Coy about this one moment so many times. Joke Roy. Doku brought. Kit Krista Leah to open form enrichment. I I was in Richmond the next week I by the way I've worked with a a woman I met for the very first time. Nikki glaser show. She's she's the reason we work together. Because does she dropped out and Nikki glaser. I never met Nikki. I had heard of her. Amy Schumer had talked about her initially wilco. So I was like Oh cool. I can't wait to meet her but I remember being like getting going. Hey how come job is to bring us feature. And they're like Joe sells out like I sell out Joe's paid tickets and I was like Oh okay but like I and so I kind of was like cool with meeting people on the road and then getting to know them and then becoming friends with them and then I am not to be a total asshole. But if you're good enough you moved to New York like if you're a road guy and you're good enough you moved to New York or La. That's just the truth if you don't move is because you're not good enough and you never believe in yourself but then some people move too soon also people move way too late that show. I don't believe you can move too soon. Personally that's fella but with reasonable expectation. Some people move soon. Then they're like wow and again this might will you. You're newer still you. Don't if you don't have a really I mean killer. Thirty not a killer road. Thirty a killer like New York. La Thirty Dude. You got at least if you're listening. You can't have any like jokes about your baseball team your football team. The roads grew up on this parts of town. You gotTa have jokes about while in the same goes for New York comics. You gotTa pull out all your jokes about taxis when you go to the road you gotTa pull all your jokes about tax. Unless it's a really plays I opened up opened a cordon set on a homeless subway joke and I was like a joke. Works at wor. TV's different when you go to Omaha and you go and you talk about subways. Someone who's never been on a subway and you sawyer up on the local and everyone's like that was part of one of my jokes. My first jokes and then I went on the road and I was like oh no one knows what the express is and that the C train train express could shoot you up in Harlem Pretty Quick Guys. You don't know the EMINEM store on Time Square and it's always hits but no but there's a I worked with the guy who works the Looney Bin and he runs the Looney bin in fucking rooms man you just like that's when I never play but I I've heard horror stories. I think I think it's some of the rooms. I'm not talking about the Looney bin Sunrooms. They would when I started headlining. They'd take pride the fact that they were difficult man. You have a hard time here then. They don't follow that fucking liberal bullshit. You talk about therapy. Good fucking luck. I do a lot of therapy. I mean but like you don't owe place and they'd be like I remember going into moines this guy. Paul used to run des Moines. Yeah Good luck the rough time the owner. That's like you're not gonNA drink. That's how bad the room is like. Oh you should drink OPO Paul. Paul has since passed but pauline aims. His name he's a really great guy. I actually really really liked him. I don't want to in today's culture. I don't want to defame his character. She'll we'll tell you too many stories about sure. We'll we'll tell you bummer. When someone's so fun and you're like he was? He wasn't made for today's Times. I'll tell you I'll tell you what's so funny. I won't say names at all in this. There's a comic that we know that's like a It's like a big big altea comic a little bit Very liberal very virtue signal. Nice Guy He he worked with me one time. And there's another guy. The other guy's name was bill burr right but it was not a bill. Burr you know had changed name to bill blank. Because he went to New York and was bombing with the name Bill Burr and Bill Burr went to him and said Yo man you gotTa Change Your fucking name down. Yeah and so he changed. His name is a great is a really sweet guy to. They're both very sweet guys. Is Bill Blank Bill Blank. Isn't it the worst way to be described as a comic Nice Guy. Oh that means you stink. No no no it does. They're both. They're both very nice guys. And I would describe us a nice guy like fourth or fifth. I wouldn't describe I would open with Nice that would crush when that you'd be nice. Okay I'll say that bill blanks a little a bit of a fucking mess. Okay that's fun that's at least that's separate and the other night guy and I got into a knock like one of the worst fights ever had with another human being and I've never spoke. Tim Sent Damn Person. Yeah Yeah Yeah I he just. It was one of those things where it was like. We drank in or is it just drinking but it doesn't matter because you back and knew anything you want to look back and I go you a friend of me. At that time at that time I really wish that at that time you have been a friend of me. He just and by the way it got to a point where I was like. I don't hate him but I've had enough bad instances with him rigo. Maybe having my life isn't the best thing. He's still good friends with a lot of my friends I saw him. I'd say hi but I I'M NOT GONNA go out of my way the way I used to. Yeah so am by the way I apologize. I'm certain he's heard this and he's like what the Fuck I'm sorry. Just sometimes you grow up and you become a fucking father and your family and your small group of friends you go. I think I'm I'm criminal. Barely time for like your family and friends like you gotta you gotTa pick wisely at a certain point. Yeah so anyway. The point of the story which is which is described as guy. Paul lame is bill blank says a joke bus and the other guys balls and the other guy. Maybe hasn't been in a lot of confrontations in life definitely feels the right to say. Amen go fuck yourself and bills came in and we don't talk like that in Des Moines unless you WANNA fight and he's like fuck you with your ass and Bill and then immediately always lame name city that we're going to say that we don't do that in Juneau Alaska like well he's got you. Don't fucking Talk Shit like that out. If you WanNa Talk Shit we saw with your ass and then the other guys like fuck you and Poulain just goes all right. He's the owner of the club. They're going to fight. Both he goes go outside. And I'm like hang on what and then you see the guy. The guy used to be really good friends with go. I'd only in a fistfight and Paul's like no. No no no you said you're GONNA fight him. We're all going to watch you guys fight and the guys I was just talking shit and he goes. Oh there's it's August shit you guys go out and fight. Let's go and like like I remember going like you're the manager of a fucking club like you can't have two working together. Go out to the fucking street and fistfight. Like his roadhouse respected. Did I felt I felt so bad for the guy because I'm a lot like the other guy not bill blank. I'm a lot like shit and then the ones someone goes. Are you guys fistfight. I'd be like hold on now. I don't do that. It was just talking. Shit Man I remember. Go get leaving. I like both like both of them. At the moment I was like left with that guy was like that was fucked up. He was telling me me those like you were talking like you wanted to get into a fistfight. And he's like yeah. We all talk like that. Yeah well we don't think of the consequences. I got attacked in Burlington. Oh you got months ago online dude. I was almost commonly gala. Whose opening for me really funny and we're hanging out at a bar like two blocks from the show and this guide just walks over to me and I can tell if something's off you know you can tell something's a little off? He's a little drunk definitely drunk and he said he just walked to University of Vermont and I said no and he goes a master's degree and I was like. You're getting colder now. And then and then he just looked at me and goes. I WANNA beat the shit out of all you and I love that. You're irresponsible as you're getting colder with already. You're out of his league. WIT wisely won't use University of Vermont. Master's degree you're getting colder. Well he he's GonNa be the shit. Oh you and I just kind of like with Carmen into other comics from Vermont. We kinda turn around like bluffing as I can actually hit us. And then he takes a pint glass in smashed over my head and it shatters. I was like fuck. He was not bluffing. Runs out and they call the COPS COPS and I will vouch for this. The second he laughed I yelled to everyone. The boy said you all heard him call me jubilee before he did it and no like no. He didn't like I know but I'm just trying to get a laugh the second half because I was nervous I wanted to. I could see how scared common was. Because she was like Holy Sh- I recommend this bar from Vermont. No she is oh yeah so she. I think she was like what the fuck happened so I was just trying to keep it light. You know yet her but I was also like it's more like you know the U Your Gentleman kicks in so I'm kind of like why I know I have a concussion. I don't know how much worse it isn't that but the cops come and my mom is furious. 'cause I'm like instagram story in with the COPS trying to make jokes out of it so she finds out for my instagram. And she's calling because they pick up the fucking phone. We talked for a while and I was like I just got I didn't do. She didn't believe that I didn't this is my. She's my mom didn't believe that I didn't talk to the guy that's the same thing. I didn't Talk Shit. I was seriously just said it was. The guy turned out to be a therapist who was trying in to get murder. He pulled each went for the cop's gun when the cops got him so he was hoping to commit suicide by COP. Which WHOA WHOA slow? This white people can't fucking do it doesn't work but nobody he he's usually. I had to be on the phone with the victim's advocate in Vermont was a whole thing we we hold on. so He's a therapist. Yeah not anymore no shit. So but he's trying. What was he going through that? He's trying to get killed. He was going through a bad divorce and so he's a therapist. Therapist walks up to you making fun of the idea that you might be going to college. He was so fucked up. I think he just wanted to get either get the shit kicked out of him. I think you know those types of drunks who I think he wanted either. Get the shit kicked out of him so I think he hit me hoping I would hit back but I was kind of dazed when he hit me so I was sitting down when he hit me so I just kinda stood up when he hit me but kind of in a daze and he stared me down and it just ran and Then the cops found him at night they got him and not the COPS. Were like picking glass out of my hair. They're like yeah. Yeah it's just like a fucking big bump on your head like yeah. It doesn't feel good though you know but Blood and they would have been more like some cuts on my neck and stuff just in the glass but it was fine. I wasn't that bad. Did you know this is gonna sound so silly but like I've been beat I've been beaten up. I think twice. I've been punched a couple of times but like beaten up. We're like like I was like. Hey Guy we quit twice. Both of us are just not fighters will you all will you please. quit is the best line. We're how long do you get tired and still got manners. Though you said police leased everything. One time was by this black dude in high school. That my buddy cow had fouled Cao Cao head count. Yeah Oh yeah. My count is the best yes Tampa nickname. I tell you called in when I was on CAL head probably. Yeah probably yeah. He's he's a great he's the best he found him 'cause he was like I wanna find out how true your story was or whatever and he found the guy still lives in Tampa guy had by the way I was. I Wa- I. It was two thousand nine. The guy had like a seventeen year old daughter. I am a guarantee we had very had a child very very very young. Yeah right after. He beat my ass but He found the guy. The Guy was like and Mike Mike Sue. Cows like a get on the show on the show to talk to Bert guys. Like five hundred dollars cows like all right go fuck yourself. Birds the talent. I'm not among pan. Am I gonNA pay the guy that beat him up. That no one's GonNa like at the end of this but at the end of that had a little bit of I wouldn't say PTSD. But I we had a little bit of traumatic stress. Where like I and it was after the fighting so I guess it was post but it was at like if I was nervous? List that he was going to be around the corner that same guy and he was black so anytime I saw anyone black who like. I went to my grandmother's house right after the fight and I got in the elevator in Richmond or brutal. I got in the elevator and there was a doctor that lived in a building that was black. It was must have been like eleven eleven thirty at night and the door was closing. I was going up to replace doors closing. I heard the door the lobby open and him run in and I saw his hand just a black hands out the door and real quick I went to him. Oh got an and then he came in and I was like what the fuck is going on. I'm not afraid of black people but now the skin color is freaking me out and and it was just for that like like that night really right after I got beaten up I was afraid he's GonNa find me in Finnish. We already beat you up. You're scared that makes them. The Guy was not scared of a fucking thing we he beat me up. All's friends left my two friends pull up in a car like break the fight up and he comes and he they jump in the car I kick them in the face chest. Yeah like I dive in the win. You being able to throw down down a little bit. No this was such a lucky kick really dove in the I dove. I don't know man kicks it. They're tough to pull off. Villa Langford and Blake Casper had my. I'm almost certain those are the exact names. I don't know if it was but it was blake. Casper was there and they were in my Fox. They pull up out of jail. Volks White Volker Fox. I played goes out and talk shit to the guy the stops beating my ass runs over to beat up Blake. Blake gets in the car throwing. He's like go. Go go go. What's so immediately and but I mean we're kids we're neither none of us are bad asses? We're all like fucking privilege white kids. They don't go. I I run in front of the window and Stanford of the window. Talk Shit to the guy. Blake is holding my shirt like getting a fucking car. The windows down a step towards him to like lunge at him the guy kind of like pulls holds back. I dive in the car. He goes into get me and in the I mean the perfect shot ever Jay lankford punches. It the car takes off and I kick the the guy in the face feet out the window kick in the face and knocked him down and I'm like cool. Take off down the street. We stop at a four way intersection. And Jay's there's three of us there's one one of him all the Buckeyes had disappeared right all about has disappeared and it was one of him. He each each of us in his car. He had like a like a like. I want to tell you a transam but it was up on. Big Wheels will to three of us. Just want to him. We get out of my car. I go guys. I got weapons in my trunk. I kind of weapons you have. I put a tennis tennis racket. A Golf Club fucking Lacrosse stick. It was the most white tools of fucking whiteness. You'll ever see John Mayonnaise a restraining order. We the guy pulled up and try to fight all three of us and we will get back in the Gar- we're not GonNa win and so we took off and left. Drop those guys off. Drove to my grandmother's house when to my grandma's house one gang in the warriors that they didn't talk about we were the definite socialist middle reads mid roll reads. What are these are mid roll reads? If you haven't heard me talking about hymns then you're not listening. I've been talking about him now for probably probably a year. They are helping guys look their best. Sixty six percent of men start losing their hair by the age. Thirty five and once you've noticed they're spending it it can be too late. Is that hairline slowly moving back. Do you see bald spots like I did when I was twenty two and my buddies were standing over me in my attorney housing like Bro. You're going bald. My heart dropped. I felt it was the first foot in the grave that I had and I wanted to stop it right there and that is how you you do it you get in front of that train and you stop it you rob it and then you get famous. That's my two cents. I started on hair loss. Medicine probably twenty two years ago and if you look your boys still got air. Only wear hats allocution them. Four hymns DOT COM is the one stop shopping for hair loss skin Karen sexual wellness foremen. Time to write a new chapter in your life in this chapter you have hair. These aren't snake oil pills or gas station over the counter supplements. These are prescriptions. Backed by science him was created by a guy who knew some men's health conversations are better to have an easier to have online than in person. No awkward in prison doctor visits no pharmacy. 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That's G. T. Q. U. P. dot com slash Berg cast quip. The Good Habits Company. Read the outsiders. I thought it was the socks. All turn it over real asset. Yeah I know it's a classic book book. The movies movies better. Yeah Matt Dillon. Right Thomas L.. Remember See Thomas Hal and Salt Solman with that what it was called where he could. You make that movie now. No now you could. I think the fire for wearing black face you see that. Did you remember when Jimmy Kimmel used to do call Malone and black and black body like black years and you'd like is like is this okay. He's getting fired soon. He'll be by the way I bet by the time. This airs. Jimmy Jimmy Kimmel lost his job he has to the. Here's the thing. I read an article last night about the hypocrisy of the left and by the way. I'm extremely liberal. Everyone everyone knows everyone always says state politics. Nobody but in in in comedy the left has kind of and I'm pretty liberal too but the left has become the right right almost like when you when you read about Lenny. Bruce was kind of fighting against with the church. And all things like that. It was all conservative right-wingers and now it's if you're being silenced attempted. It'd be silenced. It's from the left from the left is from our own party who hypocritical. I would never. I'm Never GonNa Talk About Virtue Signal in you. Know Michael Chad Gray bed about how liberals will get offended on behalf of others which there's nothing more gender jokes are jokes like that. My new special. That's not the joke the joke is about. It's it's a story about that but yeah about people. Getting offended on behalf of someone is outrageous. It's outrageous to elicit Milano. By the way I'm I I can't call out so I would never call it another comic. I I stand by Sarah Silverman. I think that I think it's dangerous when you call it. Other comics comics. John McCall it with every comic should be behind his shampoo. I'm sure you know about dean. Every comic should be behind. At least you know the right to make that joke the right and and I I thought it was a funny joke but I think you should be behind the right to make Dina's yeah teams jokes. Great Joke about triple X.. Whatever the guys? Let's let's take it easy before we get death threats. I still yeah no but But serfs over men wore black face. Yeah she in two thousand seven. Sure I mean I. There was never I guess theoretically what everyone saves. There's number time you're back face go to my facebook and you'll see my high school. cheerleading team is in black face. Dancing dancing baby got back. They were black face. The cheerleaders were black face and dance to baby back. Afro wigs. Those Afro wigs. Everyone will wear it. Halloween and dress in the seventy s outfit technically backfire. Well there was a politician in Virginia. Too I mean do I growing up in the south. I gotta be honest with you. I saw I didn't see a ton ton of black face. You didn't see a ton of it. I will only say the reason. You'll never see me face unlike makeup on my face it bothers me anything like makeup on my lips freaks. The only reason I don't know saying I'm just saying I'm not more noble than the next person I'm not gonNA say I'm better than the also like here's the thing about that and I would never defend it because it's it's stupid but it's also like there are people in our world that go for the shock laugh and and they fail at it and you know that's a bad like it's a bad move you know but it was. It was a different time. Like people like to just pretend history than happen. Two thousand seven was different. Jimmy Kimmel was in full black person. Don't even don't the Washington being like this is not. This is probably not good. I remember thinking you're remember. I mean personally when I was watching Jimmy I remember thinking you're making really making fun of demands intelligence. Oh yeah like like Karl Malone home alone by the way fuck the thirteen year old impregnator. When he was twenty that small town it was just swept under the rug? Stories like Karl Malone is going to call out canceled because then it comes right back. It's like it's a trickle down effect of who you cancel. You should on people's intelligence elegance. Make sure they commit statutory rape and you'll get off just got to make sure they got more dirt dude. The whole thing is like things were different at a certain time. Yeah Dude I mean do you remember when Manhattan I mean woody. Allen is dating a high school kid and it's weird but it's not as weird as if you just. I don't know it's weird. And now that we know who he is. But Woody Allen's probably not the best things you know the Wayne Federman joke about Woody Allen. We said Woody Allen Man. He's my here all these years. Here's an still married to the daughter. That's a perfect great. That's a great joke. Woody Allen is Ground Zero for me to you know that it's crazy easy. He is Ground Zero. Had he not married his daughter his son. ronin ronin ro a Rowlonin yeah ronin would have never Sinatra son dependent abandoned. We're going by looks like Sinatra. He would never felt the need to defend his mother an attack. And that's his. I think that if I'm not mistaken. That's that's Ronin and Ronin mission is to call out sexual predators evoked that Weinstein piece. You're there wants to impeach. Thank God though. Yeah Fuck Weinstein Dude Woody Allen hurt so as I go I get I was never a huge cosby guy but like woody Allen like I'm in New York Jim that guy was like he was the top like I loved loved. I loved all those movies. Yeah yeah I mean I never liked. You're so funny. I never liked woody Allen I never really give a fuck about him. I remember this is going to be a little bit loaded when I say this. I was working with Lucy and Louis. CK said to me something about woody. Allen I talk about that guy and he was like hold on what did you just say. I don't really like Woody Allen and he goes I I don't know if I can respect you right now. You don't like Woody Allen Movies. Yeah but generation racially especially up in the south. I got first introduced to Woody Allen because of that case of him black-faced party known. You know because of him dating daughter order. Yeah so as soon allow it. So that's how I first heard of him was that he was dating his daughter and certainly and I thought that was fucked up as a kid and so when I I started watching his movies I couldn't pass that. Oh that makes sense so I never really could get into movies but yeah I mean yeah. That's what he did is horrible. I I mean I can't hear your stepdaughter just doesn't mean you can. I guess we shouldn't yeah. I guess it'd be home. Yahoo like the Super Liberal. He's like who are we to stop a Mary Kay Letourneau. She married right. Yeah I just wrote the joke about that the other day they say you can never fuck kids. Well Mary Kay and billy they seem to be working. They worked out just fine. I mean Yeah I had a guy one time at one of my. I did a live show and I said to him. He's in the front row and me and Doug Benson Doug Stanhope. We're doing this bit where Douglas's that I could guess your age. Doug Stanhope said I guess your wait and I said I could guess your secret. WHOA and so that's scary? Yeah it was I. I just thought when the punch line for me was age weight and then I say something thing. I say a punchline that is ridiculous you know like yeah and then that would be the laugh right. Yeah I don't remember what I don't remember what my point was because because he outweighed a so much with the Dunn's like a hundred seventy eight advances like twenty five and I. I don't remember what my secret was. it was. You know you killed a man on the drive home once drunk. You never told anyone but you still have the hair on your way. Whatever was trying to finding Nemo Punch on the kid too? Sometimes you get people that are just so caught off guard by everything. They're just so honest and he goes no and we're like. How old are you when he goes twenty-seven almost you weigh one hundred seventy two and I go? What's your secret is I said what your secret and he goes. I lost virginity to my sixth grade teacher. And the place went fucking nuts in doug stanhope in the truest fucking anti whatever Doug Anti Establishment. Anti just contrarian way Doug Stanhope goes. You're cheering rape. I just want everyone to know that you're tyring a rape. Tell your story the Guy told the story and people could not get past cheering it. They just use like well. She brought me in for homework. Everyone's like Oh and and Doug was molested your member. He was raped. You know the bomb is people. Look at teachers We we've been fed. These articles always kind of attractive at least a female they never publicized is the ones that aren't attractive so we think of it as a good thing. But most people are unattractive most people know so percentage of people who think attractive most of them. I don't know I know what my might have you ever been on. Bumble and Buffalo woman looks like already Lang. It's fucking crazy. My daughter's whenever we're in public places we ding attractive. People like like people that we find to be attractive. We'll go ding Ding Ding Ding. Or just give them like a thing like if they're kind of attractive and it's amazing you can go through universal city walk and not being a soul yeah and this is la. Yeah this is beautiful. People come to prove their beauty. But Yeah my It's most people are unattractive. Yeah that's good that coming coming from really really attractive. I know I really I think Oh you know what you're talking about because you're talking about Tampa and are thinking of one of my favorite club owners. You Know Bobby Joel. That guy is like a fucking legend. He's he's a solid guy. He always increased my money. Money at the Improv. Because every year he would give me some outrageous offer that he knew I wasn't GonNa make that money and we'd take Improv. They'd match it. He's a solid dude. I got nothing but I love. Bobby is such a drinker. I talked about all. He's got the hairpiece. The pinky ring addresses like Charlie Sheen. Yeah you know. And then he like every time he sees me he's like UPC shit he'll just have a bottle of whiskey and pounded within like forty minutes and the whole time. He's like you fucking Pussy. I leave Shit like you in the dirt and I'm like yeah you can out drink me at fifty eight. That's not good. But he was a member used to drink with meals three. Am and I'd be like yeah. I was like twenty-three like Bobby I. But then he he. So so Dina there and he. He cooks dinner with Dina Shamsher about her there. And you know he's she's of course like this guy is insane hilarious. You know because we're talking about guys like that like no longer existing like he's more longer I think he just sold the club sold it. He sold I'm GonNa Miss Him giving away like forty grand a year liquor sales to just patrons who are just chilling. They're all offutt dude so we were at his home and it's like it's the model home. He didn't change anything. It's just like how they present the home. Just keep it all this so there. He's cooking steaks and go to this great dinner and then weren't the club later that night and he just shows up but loaded and he's he's he's like the Sitcom character where you're like he shows up and everyone applauds because he's he's like you know he's like that dude. He's the mess but he shows up and faulk Bobby's here you know. And of course he does one of these poses is is when he comes in. We'll all like no one that right now. Because he's loaded he just gets faces breathing on me. He's like you fucking hack music you stink. And then he turns goes. I fucking cooked you dinner. I was like you invited us over. Like what do you want me to say. That like that's accepted your invitation. I didn't know you're GONNA hold it against me. I feel backfield. I don't I don't feel bad because a lot of atrocities happened at the hands of these guys that we worshiped but they're all gone. They're all fucking on. It's fun when there's like two laughed and you're like well this'll be that weekend were I mean I I don't I haven't I remember like club like it was it. It was so fucked up. You'd go to a club and they'd be like they say you drink. Expect my bar sales to be big and you'd be like yeah. I mean you know. It was crazy as like like if Bobby Kelly I went through and talked about some of the guys you'd be likes. They sound like really watching. I heard you eat better sell L. Shitload of cheesecake this weekend. This was skinny sexy. Bobby Oh yeah. That's what bobby was doing the road. I think probably play during the road. The hardest was like I. I think he pretty hard right now but like I think right around that the right before orgasm right after tourism bobby was just bobby new bit about breaking his rib going tubing and it's like one the funniest cracking up so much he really is do follow McKenna on my calendar screws and he destroyed. He's a he's a tough follow he he really is because he murders. He's silly he's funny. He's lovable likable as Kinda got it. All Yeah Yeah. I talked about him a little bit with with Joe List but he really. He went up and he was. It's like it's funny because I I've been doing it less than bobby. I think. Bobby respects me but I don't think he respects me enough for me to give him insights on where. Yeah I think you should take a story because he's really storyteller. Yeah like he's a natural storyteller who's kind of fought it his whole career. I feel like I think that's a good. I feel like I feel like for for the longest part of his career. He would do bits. Bobby's GONNA fucking hate US talking about act. No I'M A I'M A. I'm a big famish fan. I also I also think like I mean he he just like the funniest dude. If you're just hanging like you'll walk in. He'll just keep abusing you. Don't you've got to get out of this. I'm like get out of what I'm just trying to eat a meal. What are you talking about your way out out of this ass kicking? He I think he's a little bit of a purist and like I remember when he first started it would be. It would be like premise driven driven like almost like a little bit like like You know and then and then I as I've seen him mature as a comic like he did all he did all stories. He's like ebb at fucking cowards. Thing it was all stories and they were better than anything I had and it was murderous to the point. He told a story about his wedding that I was like I I was like I literally was in the back on a wanted to be like Yo. I know how I would fucking punch that up. I know I would take that. I know but I don't think bobby I think bobby embrace what. Yeah I don't know you always use look at the guys that have you less than you. You always look at them. It's why they say I don't feel like someone's like why didn't you say. Hey this is i. Welcome that I really do. But I think that. Like if I wanted to Colin Quinn knows okay got an idea for you'd be like yeah good like I think I think that especially when I started the guys that were doing it longer looked at the guys that had been doing shorter like there was not there is no what happened is about in a humble way a little bit of a class of Comedians kind of disappeared in New York in my opinion. I don't know what happened to them. It's my generation kind of went and did all scenes or did like TV or didn't didn't do comedy because they were scared of the guys. There was a time where you could not sit down with the seller like legit. You'd go to even knew it wasn't that but I still got my addition. I got beaten two thousand eleven. I remember sitting down at the table. Not Knowing by the way scariest out of my life to this day was my cellar audition scary than any. TV said whatever and I remember circling the block three times before I walked in. Because I was just scared and Gary Goldman recommended to me there and then was like Gary's reputation is on the line. I was like fuck. You know everything about it Keith. Robinson just beating up on me being like look as scary dream about well Keith last night. That's crazy dream never heard. That never heard anyone say that ever dream about Keith. Keith is a pure shed shed talker. He's maybe the best ball. Buster were. He can just shit on you for two hours and you leave like that guy really cares. You know Keith would be Keith. The the one guy I would say this about all comics like legit Keesa one comic. I you could plug him into any occupation and his personality would stay identical to who it is. You can almost see Keith as a fucking as a nurse just fucking destroying you just destroying strong you scrubs working at the airport at TSA identical fucking identical driving like Keith. Is someone his personality. Transcends everything I think. Oh He's. He's so rude to people that it's all these women just gabbing. One night he goes. I shut up dummy and usually they're strangers. You can't that's strange comedians. They shut up people. Dude we were. You know what I was saying like my generation I think Gary Goldmans a little. I think he's my generation but he's a little bit older than me that he'd been doing it in Boston. But like like Demetri. Martin Mike Rabiya Kevin. Hart it's my generation enough but like I think there's a group of guys that just kind of like pulled back from the cellar. So fucking run by Patrice Bobby Voss Norton in Collin. It was so tough prouty that like I. I don't think anyone my age got in there. It's hard to picture Dimitri Mardi being shut up dummy like Komo like Steve Burnt. There's a lot of guys just kind of like or maybe moved out till I I don't know what it is but like when I think of like the pecking order that I remember remember when I was there. Yeah I remember like I missed out on that whole hazing thing. Oh it's only got nicer and nicer. They're which is better. I think it's good. There's still like a little bit of Shit Talking Liz. Who runs it? I can't tell you how often I get a tax a that's just like you piece of shit every like this could be anything. I don't know what I did. It's going to be anything last time I was there. Liz was like going up and I was like no. She's like you're going up next those you should. Yeah you were fighting is drunk. I don't WANNA go up if I've been drinking. I don't know what I'm GonNa you're gonNA pull it out. Yeah I pull it out fine but then I but then I was like I was like as soon as done. I was like do not knowing that that happened again. And then it tells birdie coming on stage I was like no definitely not just embarrassed myself now I just turned into fuck in some a horrid intelligence shits on you on stage. He's like Sam. You're a vampire. What do you think you're just like? He's just shooting you on the way to the to the set up. We're I'm getting hit. It's like fighting guys it was like Bam Bam like bodyshop body shot then facial first time I walked through the seller and tell was on state. First Time I ever walked through the seller. I Walk to use the bathroom with Demetri Martin. And we're in the back to watch it. Tallies tells on stage right now Mike back. I was wearing Hawaiian shirt and it says. Let me walking through the Hawaiian shirt. And he goes to things in his world war. Hawaiian shirts party animals in faggots. Wondering do you see people coming out of the bathroom on station. The seller I saw three three guys came out at once and they all had glasses on. Togo's what does that a nerd portal. Quick Line it's like he was a master he was was so masterful at Lake. I like what I loved what he did what he would when I was younger what he would do is he would put pins and things things and be like hold on math league. I'll get you in a second. The Chinese Chinese chess clubs talking to me. Give me one second. I'm going to talk to them and it's like just and just almost it's like place holders around the room. Yeah do a bit. And then he'd go to that spot and then do a bit and come to this guy who was so free that I was like I was like I wish one day it could be that clear on stage where I could go the what he'd do he's almost like a not. He's almost like not even human like you see him and it's almost like a Bodega cat. We were just excited did that. He's there and then he like runs away and that was. That was my moment. My favorite I have a million for a tell stories but one of my favorite ones ever is me me an Eddie. F Go to off the wagon. Is I remember that bar on there anymore. There it's the beer pong and everything right Not back then. Yeah but it's just like a bar and we walk walk in and it tells the bar drinking we sit at a table. I think Godfrey was with you too Maybe I think he's told me this. Maybe I don't know. And so we sit down pop up. Possibly we sit down and we see a town where like Oh shit. It's David L. A.. Well let's go over lake by a drink or Saint Louis say hi and they're like okay so we we go to stand up to go to the barn as soon as we sent. The bartender comes over and puts down shots of whisky he is. These are from a towel and we're like Oh cool so we've got to take our thoughts over he goes. He said leave him. The great similar thing happened to me and mackey with Bill Burr. Like many years ago. It's probably like eight years ago or something really. We saw bill alone watching the Bruhns the playwright in Times Square and Mackie's and we should go talk to him. mackey was drunk. His birthday and Mac immediately goes over. And because what the fuck do you want and Maggie said we've at this is. When was the kiss of death? He said we have the same agent and billboard goes. Oh shut the fuck up. We have the same Mac. You didn't know what to say. He was nervous. And burge's unloaded on both of us. It was pretty hilarious looking back. It's pretty damn funny. burs the fucking Berge is the nicest guy too I. Honesty is is is brutally honest it was fucking great now. I mean mackey. He he will. He'll harp on negative social interactions. And even things like hilarious hilarious. Oh I would love to be a parent at Bill. BURR school. Yes you know. What's so funny is I will meet people who go like I hi can't do this without I'll do my all my someone I met someone I was I was having a working with it. Not Not in the business but like the way you like a dentist or something like that goes You comedian yeah he goes. I know comedian. Kinda WANNA talk to. Yeah I think he does a lot of cocaine then I went really he goes. He has a big drinker. Smokes I go Jim Jeffries. He goes yeah. Had you know I go just a fucking gas I love when they go. The people say I know comedian Like this a perfect example. Perfect samples cardiologists the other day. The guy the nurse it comes in to take my blood pressure. Take my blood and he goes cities they say you're a comedian. Saddam he goes. Oh I'm a big fan of One guy go joey and he goes. How did you go? You're a nurse. And he did you know that all Filipinos are nurses go zach and he goes dude so then within I swear to God within my visit five nurses came in there like she really no Koi. Yeah they're like his They go that guy that took his mom's a nurse brothers and sisters and his entrepreneurs everyone is families nurses. They're all Filipino. All everyone here's Filipino. Nurse along real piano nurses. Yeah also a nurses. I don't know I don't no no I feel like there's a very racist answer to it and touch it I bet we'll you know off Filipinos have very American names like we ever meet Filipino of the most American names. I'll that's interesting but it's because because all the Gi's were down there and had like half white babies dancer they wanted. Yeah I guess. I don't know if that's accurate. That's my guess Pena's I wish. I wish you could just put a disclaimer on a podcast and go. Hey guys I don't read a whole lot. I'm not racist. I just have ideas that I haven't thought through. That's every podcast. We don't have to put a disclaimer people now the B I love when you find like I wanted to do. I wanted to to website called a brand new stereotypes dot com check. ooh Out halston stereotype. Show when you see something what you do is you. Put It on brainy stereotypes right like you ago Like a black you fall asleep very easily. And that's a stereotype right and then people go through life kind of looking at it by the way that was a joke staff Sav used to have an all Rogan's done is put pictures of in Edwards Asleep on a plane. Do Black People. I'm joking I really do believe they have the ability to fall asleep. Easier than white people. I don't know what it is if they're more calm like opposite. Maybe the more tense than you finally just lay down and I have no I do but it would be great to put him on brand new stereotype. People can fall asleep ease. What's new in ages Okay Gimme a SEC. Brennan's stereotypes type DOT COM. Can you buy it. We gotta get you so you can buy these websites. Do you know what's available. Hunt Dot Com. Wow Yeah what was the other one we did CAN I. Can I just go piss by the bird of paradise can you outside. Yeah right right by the Bird Paradise just pissed you'll see to the left. You can also go inside if you want to. But it's just easier so just you guys know if we ever edit something out of the podcast like did today. It's because we forget we're doing a podcast. Just you know like we edited something the other day. Oh with me and Joe List and you just end up talking so freely that you're like hey I don't know these are thoughts I've thought out and I want to share with everyone or put someone on blast. Your no one's missing anything by these edits missing anything. It's just sometimes we're just talking a little looser or Shittier. Then we would. That's my podcast. My podcast is not live. So people don't bite their tongues and so sometimes people say stuff and then they kinda you can see them wins and I go. We don't have to put that in and they're like oh I appreciate it and I actually. I'm the one that said. Hey let's take take that out on this one because you can probably guess what I said but why does one podcast that we didn't. We did a full podcast. I won't say who it is or what I said the other day. Yeah Yeah Yeah I said it yesterday. We didn't even release we talk. We didn't know what one person talked shitty about about another person for like a half an hour. No it was longer than that. It was like the entire Pie. WHO's the entire podcast? And then another good friend of ours called me up and said hey man. Did he talk shit about that. One guy for an hour and I said yes and then I said He said Hey man. Can you do me a favor and not release podcast by the way I did. Want with Alison Rosen. And she she. We're talking about why you edit things out of a podcast and defending it to the audience listening. Because I'm sure we pull that chunk out that I I don't ever want to put anyone on blast and so like and that's never from my intention my intentions never to like make anyone's life more difficult because of totally. Yeah No. I've talked to people about line and they don't realize that it's like we're not trying to start start shit with only goals is to make you laugh. I want people to Giggle. That's interesting I do not want people going dude fuck you to do you think you are to you. Know I did a podcast Alison Rosen. She is right up. She got fired from Adam Corollas podcast now. She got fired nurse not there anymore. Yeah and she spent. This is one that was just meeting on the podcast. She spent forty five minutes. Just trashing Adam Lam and and like in my head and I'm like I was thinking like am. I going to release this because she just been fires. It was all fresh and I was in my head if I released an animal like number two his process by the way. I've never done this podcast. He's ever having a moment's podcast. But like I remember thinking I'll never do podcasts. He's GonNa hate me. It's going to be a war but when you get selfish you're like like it's GonNa that'd be really tough on. Her people are really going to come after her. I'm going to be in the middle of it. Get good ratings. My numbers are increased. Then you're like am I like I like I don't think it's worth it and then in the middle middle shoes goes actually. Can you not put out any of this stuff. I just said I was like yeah. We didn't I didn't put out the episode. That's only one of two episodes I recorded. I didn't play out. I think the other one no no. When when? When did we do on the jokers cruise? That's three episodes. Yeah that was. That was a new side. We I'd never seen I kind of like how passionate you got but it was. It was a good idea not the only forgot about that passed the unreleased East podcast. Yeah has caused trickle problems for people in the past and the future or in the past really like I'll talk to you about it off air. Yeah but that was I remember that we were. We were all a little boo you Tori Ari and Mike Vecchione Vecchione DOT dammit. I started donald like forever I am. I haven't had Mike on the podcast yet. Mike is one of my favorite foods. He's a Marine Corps. Remember watching him on last comic standing and be like do this guy. LEGIT is one of the by the way we dated. Same Chick in talked about that okay. We dated the same chick at one point that my height my college sweetheart was his high school sweetheart and I was like what are the odds of this one woman dated to. I won't say in the world but two of the funnier people in the country. Yeah like what are the odds that she dated us like but I don't think Mike was funny in high. You also dated aunt though the comedian. What's up with him? I don't know I ran into him at. I never met him. I just remember that go. I met him. He was a he was a handful. Yeah his name is aunt. He was legit handful and was very dialed into like by the way once again not trying to anybody but like very out into reality television and how that would work and celebrity. Like don't but doesn't it kind of make you Quinn. When people are in this for fame and not to be good at standup it does for me It does for me only because I think fame gets in the way of good standup personally man. How no one gets better as they get? I mean some people do but it's hard to get insanely famous. Those comic shows like so. It was at this famous person's person's house and you're like who gives a fuck. Tell joke. Yeah I when when that happened and by the way I gotTa admit I when I got on last comic standing to who up until the semi-finals and then I got booted excite Buddhist. There were like I just wouldn't I got to did you. I was booted. Aisha I should on Canaan Keenen Ivory Wayans. WHO's one of the judges? What did you say he I had a really good set and no one was really nice. Ida joke the norm like I love that joke. I said the joke was a Moscow from was a hoarder and she broke up with me which things extra charge the one thing she can get rid of a Uh and was really nice to and then Keenan was like. I like some your jokes. I didn't like all of them and I said well I loved all the scary movie films and I got a huge laugh. Ah obviously very sarcastic and he said I only did the first two when I was like were a joke. I think you're missing the point here. Ah I gotTA lemonade with Iran. The norm a norm and like an area afterward and he was like I like the burned. Brandon has fun nor his norms like the perfect celeb- celebrity technically. But we got them. Everyone respects the purest dude. He's a hardcore arcor purist. He's fucking hilarious. He's part my my best joke. I have right now in. My new hour is d. I hope people like it because it's definitely a little bit of a departure of my stereo. I I think I think in as you grow stand up you need to evolve also. You need to get us do the identical same thing you did last special and do a replication of that just different words. I think you got to evolve. One of the things I was obsessed with was that I've talked about this Ad Nauseam so I apologize listening called. Stand up stand up San hope one day and I said what are you doing. And he goes like I'm having a great food and vodka watching the sunset. I'm trying to think some goofs. What do you mean he goes? I don't know like I don't know just just trying to re rethink how to joke like I'm writing knock knock jokes. I was like what am I figure. I'm probably as funny as the guys who wrote knock knock jokes like like a pyrite. Hi writer knock knock jokes. I'm trying to rewrite trying to re read redirect knock knock jokes and rewrite them and I was like Oh cool and it changed the way. I look at things so I was like one of the jokes. My favorite jokes are nor McDonald's jokes when he goes Here's a joke about his neighbor. Works at the At the university is a professor of logic joke now great joke. I'll tell us because it's such a great joke and and I know you guys have heard this but just if you haven't just sit back and enjoy one of my favorite jokes. It changed the way I looked at my our. I want a joke like that. I don't want to do what he's doing but I want to be able able to do something a little more old school but in my voice norm moves norm gets a new neighbor so he sees a neighbor and he says hey neighbor abor guy goes eight norm says What what do you do for a living the guy goes oppressor logic down at the university? Norm tells it so much better because he normalizes is it and so north. Because what's that and he goes. Well it's Kinda hard for me to explain. It's easier for me to show norm. Says Okay and he goes nor do you have a dog house. I do well then logically. I can assume you have a dog and he goes. I do have a dog and he goes on logically. If you have a dog assuming if children tip children Norman he goes I do have children. He goes okay. And if you've children logically I can assume you're married to a woman yet wife is i. Do you have a wife. He goes well logically. If you have a wife and a child and dog and the Dog House that I can logically assume you're a straight white male numb goes. I am norm. That's what I do for a living normal. Wow fascinating so norm. Goes down to the bus stop catch bosses. He's another neighbor says. Hey neighbor goes ain't is they normally see that you meet the new neighbor he goes. Yeah did and here's what you do for. A living goes is a professor of logic down at the university guy goes was that long. It's kind of hard for me. Explain it's easier for me to show you norm. Goes Dip Doghouse. Guy Goes no he goes. Well you must be gay. Ah I one of my favorite ones. I ever heard much tension I love. I love those jokes. I love those jokes. Like the best one. Not Too fucking Redo this. But it's been a while too good you have. You're the one gap again. Told me a joke yesterday. That had me pissing myself. So you'll Africans wife had brain in cancer right on the stem of her brain and they told Gavitt kin as unfunny but they told Gavan she probably will never be able to swallow again. You're out of that ear. It's connected to all the nerves and you know you're GONNA have to get help for for the rest of his life of your life and I was like wow. He's eating the funniest joke. I heard that at that time time when that was going on was Guy Goes the guy goes to the doctor his wife goes into a coma and do some surgeries guy shows up and the doctor says well Sir I have good news bad news. Have you heard this now. And he goes all right. What's the bad news? He goes the bad news is your wife's surgery. Didn't go as well as planned. Nice going to be a vegetable for the rest of her life. You have to cleaner Care for feeder pull out tubes. Wipe her ass in every two two hours. You're going to need to massage her if you don't she'll go into epileptic spasms for the rest of her life and the guy goes well. What's a good news? Good news issues dead. Ed and I love those. I love those. I love him so much. Who's your old school jokes where there's a big build up you know like if you watch like an old buddy Hackett hit thing on like Carson? He tells US long setup. And there'd be that that type of punchline right yeah I love those now. It's like so quick. Do you ever think about writing like you. Could you are hands down. One of the best joke writers business. You could give it like 'cause I got obsessed with like I was like why am I not writing guy walks into a bar joke like why am in writing something really got into those no. I'm usually like bogus. Oser like jokes. You need just let your mind wander and some of them. Just like mighty dea so bad. It's hard for me to wander with that much focus that makes sense like that's like a focus wander. Thought what this is what I would say to you and this is what I didn't do this more but like how great would it be to do fallon or Conan or to do Kim or do any of these shows and go do stand up and then they bring you over to the couch and understand you. You have like a joke joke enormous. Don't show like that. A bunch on Conan norm does it all the skies. It like a really happened to him. Norm is done norm as the best at it. It's like but don't you feel that like I mean you still out all the time like part of the reason. I don't write those jokes I feel like I still have a lot of real things that I can make funny so I like I go as a writing exercise look I was obsessed with like bat format. Yeah and so I was like I was trying to write one like it and then one day I had an interaction with a guy and it was funny and then hours on the road I was the next day I had another interaction with same guy and it was funny and I was like Oh my God. This guy walks into a bar and I was like Oh shut the fuck walk up and I was like okay. Okay I got this so then the third day I was like this is the day everything happens like it was so it's like but I think that's cool. It'd be cool if you're like like to be able to and you got to see it happen in the moment and go like if you perkier. I believe this. If you're you're you can kind of do that. I mean we were just doing it like I was in a bar the other day but if you just change. It's like a third person joke do that. It's it's so funny I just I find that like like can you just one day. When you're bored stumped try to write a knock knock joke? They're really fucking heart. Gilbert Godfrey DTS CD of dirty jokes. No Oh it's it's incredible jokes and he makes them in his voice. I mean they're not jokes that he wrote but he's just telling Jokes Gilbert godfried way and it's fucking funny the day one of the job please please. I Love I in high school. I had a roommate come in in college. I had a roommate. Come in and goes those who wants to hear good riddle and I laughed at him and he went. No riddles are actually pretty fun and I went you being serious. And he had a book of riddles and we sat in. Did Riddles. All fucking talking Knight. Someone's be we'll go. Do you WanNa hear funny word though I keep going keep going okay. So one of the jokes on his CD. It's just an old joke is There's a guy who's drunk Ronkainen bar and he's so drunk he vomits over his own shirt and he's like fucked my wife's going to kill me. What do I do in the bartenders? They just put a ten dollar bill in your front pocket. Say That some other gu-guy puked on you and he gave you ten bucks. The Dry Cleaners I. It's a great idea. She goes home and his is like what the fuck is wrong with you you covered in vomit. Your drug use no no someone else. Vomited vomited on my shirt and he put a ten dollar bill my pocket. She looks she goes. This is a twenty dollar bill and he goes. He also shouldn't bands such a perfect job. Right Dude Greg. Giraldo had a great joke. That's kind of like that he goes. I was my wife. It doesn't like when I drink you ever heard this. My life doesn't like when I drink and drive my motorcycle and he goes but I can't help it just fun. I want to every time I drank on a motorcycle so when I come home tell me about you stopped me start fucking it up when they come home and Jordy and the loft like I shut the door quietly take my clothes off I get up in bed and she looked at me he goes. Let me guess you were drunk driving your motorcycle. And he goes no. Why would you say that he goes your helmet still often? I love that the love that that was his half hours first half hour. Thanks a such a great. A loaf road is one of the best ever. I think. Yeah I really think he was. I mean I I wish we got to see more from him because I think he was on his way to being like a Louis type. I honestly don't think he ever found his voice in his period. I think he got so close in those when he when he broke kindle. Take those away Halston. I'm curious to see if there any good ones the when he got When he got when when he would lose his shit on a row he was so good at the roasts and I think that's what people think they know him as is that his material like when he would say Cher stuff that and the reason? I don't think you've got to his voice. If he had shared the stories about his partying and about his lifestyle and about who he was that he hid from everybody. Sorry I bet that would have been been Richard. I think he would. Yeah I think he was on his way because I think good day to cross a river that album just jokes on that album are fucking insane. The one about his fight with his wife. That's like two minutes long and it's just I would butcher it but it's just a long bit about him he He started by saying like you think it's going to be this relatable observational joke. Because I gave her have this fight with the wife and then it just turned into this deeply personal fucked up stories like why are you always on the road. You always gotta get drunk on the road and you're like yeah. I'm in fucking Virginia Virginia. I'm going to be drunk the whole time. I'm here and it just goes deeper and deeper and then he just Pasi goes you ever have that fight. But it's like the most deeply personal. I have a drinking problem now. Now I'm snorting coke off a switchblade in a bar called shirts and then I've been assured shots I've been I'm going to be in Dayton this fall. I've always had good times and Debbie shocked. If I sold tickets in Dayton I bail. Pack can tell you if I have already I was felt bad for mother. Teresa Mother Teresa lived a whole life helping starving children dying villages but she can never be declared a saint because she never actually performed a miracle and it was towards the end. She was desperate to form a miracle so she would go to starving children and go. What's behind your ear? It's I guess it's better Gilbert re reads it. Yeah it's pretty funny. What mangoes the doctor for a check and the doctor examined says then? The Doctor Examines Sam and says I've got bad news. You've got cancer and Alzheimer's demand goes. I don't think I have thank God. I have cancer. It's like I'm not bad. Readers uh-huh Alzheimer's joke. Yesterday mid roll reads reads. What are they these are mid? Roll reads Support for KQED COMES FROM TURBO TAX. Everybody has to do taxes and yet not. Everybody feels comfortable doing taxes. which doesn't seem team right? Especially when you consider all the amazing things that these same people accomplish every day of their lives. turbotax believes that with the right tools and encouragement arrangement. People can be good at anything yes even taxes and to help people feel more comfortable with the tax process turbo tax live. Give shut up. Just shut up keep it in this read shut up. Turbo tax live gives to your personal access to experience. EPA's NEA's who are there for you even on nights and weekends and they're happy to go through your return with view line by line to double check to you've done everything right so you can be sure to get your best possible refund and feel one hundred percent it confident in your taxes turbo tax all people are tax. People Gilbert is He's a character I had him on. Something's burning with Intel real. That's a good parent. Yeah it was a great pairing. It's it's so it's so crazy. How different personalities offstage as opposed to onstage? Gilbert Yeah Y. Y Y and humble and then you're like where's the ASS factor factor. You want like aristocrats but yeah I I think job recovery. If norms my favorite I could watch norm for your favorite comic period. No It's tell tells my favorite comic Norma's right after because I can watch norm be norm. I wish I saw a normal. I don't see him that often. I don't I don't I don't know where where's he go up when he's a joke on online somewhere right and he goes you know they say oranges the new black. Not In my building. Kevin's the new black. I love to silly as jokes. Like he's just he has his no McDonald show. The one on Netflix is amazing but the one he did online where he just had them read horrible fucking jokes. Did you ever see that that. Now do you gotta get into a norm spiral million in the store. One time we're at the store and is that where he goes up when he's here because he's really good friends with Adamy. Okay Adam is like his I I WANNA say like. They're they're almost like related like it's they're really close so he came back right before the election. I can't tell you what he was saying. It's unfair to like share stories like that behind closed doors. All I will tell you. Is that me Sequeira Rogan. Everyone was not only jaws wide. Open ears y just like but we were in hysterics hysterics. He's great because he never says the predictable thing nor contrarian and he's also smart and funny and I still remember the interview. He did after getting fired from weekend. Update on Letterman. And it's like a twenty minute interview and you could see how much letterman respects him. And you're like Holy Shit. This is kind of incredible. Enorm- just is so fucking funny. He just talks about. You know what I'm talking about. We had like like I had A. I had a half a pint half a fifth of whiskey and let him is like. What do you do the next as well? I remember that I still half a whiskey left. You know it's just like dislike. It should be obvious but you just you know. Do you think in other professions people people talk the way we talk about our heroes. I won't it depends on your job. I mean you know if you work in like some sort of like maybe music Phil. Oh maybe I don't. I don't know if you if you work in accounting. You should've seen Kevin the other certain point Carmelo Anthony and was like Nah. I'm the best. It's probably wise not playing in the league right now. The lake. WHO's one of the love now? Ever play in European attributes. My favorite ever do you think. Do you think Shaquille O'Neal was like man. You gotTA give it up for Patrick. Yeah totally you the because you know why. Because you in a super underrated he always gets trashed. Shock I think Shack is defensive of guys shacks good guy had seen Jackson Shack. Seems like he's a great great about shack is when he had. When y'all Ming was like the guy in the scene everyone's like Shaq lookout Yala's coming for Ya Shack? Jack Shack was racist interview and was like yeah. Ming Ching Chang Jesus Christ and then shack finds out the yeow that hero a shack doc and he feels terrible so now if you ever hear Shack Out Jack By helping zero duty went to China to like stay with his family family and they were all like happier staying here. You're Yala's favorite player and shack was like fuck so then every time you hear shack talk about. Yeah always like. He's the greatest ever and now he's like overcompensate overcompensate like that's not true do you do you ever see the documentary on on. ESPN about the magic about the battle. Dude Penny Hardaway would have been like the best best he would have been almost magic Johnson level like his shit was insane. What happened to Penny Hardaway of injuries man just so many injuries? Incredible play in our fraternity. The Kid One of the key Chris Hill was his name. His Dad was a coach in the magic. Here's an opportunity. We always have magic aims as coach. I'm telling you man Shack Jack is a debt is a different bill of a human being his. Yeah it's insane and I still like him in the NBA. There's like to this day. No one's ever been like him. Yeah I don't think I mean maybe wilt Chamberlain because he only played against like you know goofy white guys. Yeah so everyone's he dropped under points against like a six foot six white guy guarding him. You know when you talk about like my favorite. Is Charles Barkley an shack together. They make me laugh so fucking hard. Josh gunman one said is so funny. The day of the energy together of like two friends who were like friends through the guys Bachelor Party and they have to like coexist together is so true right. It's like I was like well. We put it in the words perfectly. It's because they really kinda like can't stand each other but they do kind of like each other and Barkley always kinda outwit them and then shacks always like. Oh Yeah how many rings you have. You can't use that every time. Like how about Barkley getting pulled over and tell them up. I'm just going to get a blowjob man to worry about it. He's like I don't give a fuck we in this comic staffers hockey is we basketball. PODCAST called pod online. We did an episode called the all time greatest cheaters like in the fidelity allstars embark starting power forward award. Who else is on that top and put magic at center because he we you know because you know if you if you if you if it takes aids for you to get caught cheating you fucking you put in work you know? Then we had Lamar or the band because he he didn't do a coma you know what's he doing now but he was. I Love Lamar Odom. I had ODEM JERSEY. I'm great I went and saw. I'd go to Clippers Games when I first moved here because the tickets you could get. Yeah and you get good tickets. Because he clippers games. He was amazing and then we had at small food. You'd Paul George. Because he fucked he he he impregnates stripper and he fucked teammates. Wife Roy Hibbert in that fucked up the Pacers Oh. He was small forward shooting guard who the bronze Mom Galante West. But he wasn't cheating he just. This was about cheaters if we all time Greatest Fox okay what about what about Played for the Sonics had nine kids on camp. Sean callow legitimate kids. So we can't count him as a cheater. I mean that's why we didn't put bark. That's why we didn't put call Malone on the lists because he fucked a thirteen year old. We can't really have criminals on the list. Yeah United Takes the fun out of it but Tony Parker Point Guard. Fox Brent Brent Barry the fuck you teammates you fucked your teammates girl that makes no fucking sense to me. It's so on Spurs like there's such a buttoned up organization Shen it's such a FA- a talk about like a team cancer. Yeah fuck someone's girl on your team and you got to get rid of burnt barracas Tony. Parker's cours hall of fame. Point Guard Man. How about when? Kobe called show. Kobe was the to guard he was starting to guard Jordan. We Jordan there because he lost half his networth in his divorce. And that's not good cheating. Coby coby buys his wife. A four million dollar wedding ring saves all that money. He would've lost in the divorce. Everyone's like like that. Why is he spending four million? Because he would've lost two hundred million in the divorce. I never thought about that. Brilliant cultural thing about athletes who got in who got injustice justice the Buzzer with rape like meaning like now. Kobe was alleged. Yeah you're right he I mean look he he would have been you you and me to. There's no oh there's no fucking trial your canceled. I mean. It's not like Kobe. If that came up today canceled culture. He's Goblin is in sports. There are are a lot of people who are like he did this to me. It turned out to be not true. Like KRISTAPS Porzingis. This woman claimed that he did that to her. But now people are like. It's feels like extortion really i. I don't know the whole story but it feels like so. That's the problem with. Sports is a lot of people because we don't have much money and it's such an interesting thing like do you remember. We were talking about when you got hit in the head and your mom was like what did you do. Remember Stuart Scott saying that about Stuart. Scott Garissa souls through Wisconsin. I do love that. Her on he died did to me. He was a great fucking. I had dinner with him one night. Really Yeah I did with him. When I first started doing stand up he came to stand up and was with a friend of ours and he was like you don? I said yeah he goes you hungry. It was like yeah. He's like mono buy you dinner. I was like thank. You say you hope he would talk to sounds like and then in the middle of general said her. Was it hard for you and like like people were shitting on you because you like the first black guy on ESPN and had like spoke black. And they were like dude. They hated you and he was like. I don't know what you're talking about just made up something no I was like. Oh that's how it wasn't my fraternity. Sorry I was like yeah like when you loved him. It took a Yo L. and our fraternity it took a while for everyone to Stu. Sportscenter was about white guys going Zoe whammo and he said Boom Shaka Laka and he and he was like he brought culture into into he was the best he which is which is at once and he was so cool I hype did rich Eisen show. I Love Him told the story about Don Mattingly hitting my buddy with a baseball. Whoa you Yankees Fan? Nobody grew up in Florida and spring. Training Mattingly was like that was like when my grandpa got me into baseball man so he was the guy I'm Gonna I'm Gonna I'm Gonna I'm GonNa do this right right. So Don Mattingly Fred mcgriff are taking batting practice me and Scott Bogere or running with a call player appreciations. We had run from the home home base but we ran from the dugout. They were taking. BP to every sign that was on the outfield fence and we were in trouble so we had to do it during school when they're taking BP running. SCAB Kabeer Domino's hitting just teeing. I'm talking. He's got a beer and he just hit the back with a baseball and falls to the ground. Turn round and they're like kind of laughing like sorry and go. Okay and so bob your picks it up throws an and like hey when you guys were done will sign that for you when I got. Thanks like fuck you you so then we keep running in there like when you're done will sign ting hits him again and he walls down Fred mcgriff like no fucking way told Ya and so at this point is getting kind of them trying to hit us now. Lead going in opposite field turns out. I tell that to to rich Eisen rich. Don Mattingly is my favorite baseball player ever and I was like yeah. And he's like we gotta check that out. I go home. It goes on it. Goes on what McCulloch and I got an email from one of the guys I grew up with you goes wasn't don mattingly. It was Guy That went to Jesuit and played for the Yankees of get his name name he was wasn't don mattingly. It was Jesuit. I'll tell you jesuit high school. A Jesuit high school what position in Tampa First Baseman no no wasn't Martinez. It was Not It sounds like Don Mattingley. It was magazine Dave Dave magazine. I don't remember Dave Maggard Type Day. Megan and pull them up. They've not gonNA play for the Yankees with Dave Magnum. Great Mercedes really. Hit details of the Yankees gave magazine paper. The mets bad I was at a Yankees game with my friend was Michael. Al Play for the Yankees early on before you this really good career with the Red Sox and Michael allergist largest it was like my birthday I was with a couple friends and my mom and he just hits one back just bounces off. The railing hits my friend room. I fucking birthday about having to go the hospital hospital to leave the game in the mouth of my eleventh birthday with a baseball bat and lost like Dole to twenty sixteen. Oh my God I got in the car my my dad me. Finish the fucking inning. I was catching my dad. Put me a shortstop I was like. What do you remember like Earth News? Liberties Ted News like listen. We take your now. He's just lose the game. It's one more out. Just sit and they hit the ball to me at fucking shortstop and I caught it through the guy out. Get the car. It's my eleventh birthday. Birthday party planned Levin Eleventh Birthday. Get in the car. Look at my mom and a Mike I remember. I just go great birthday Her Mom just started sobbing. I was like Ooh I was just saying and get a little pity. But she's us that when I was a kid my parents seventy this weekend thing like just give me out of the House and it was just me and like little kids playing baseball. And they'd be like adult counselors and stuff and embassy. They were all just like hard nosed counselor so I stopped paying attention a shortstop one day and he just looks at me. Just fucking zing. Zang Baseball IT MAKES THEM SPINNING OUT. Hits me right right in the nose and I'm just looking like on the ground bleeding and crying and he's like next time you'll pay attention. I'm like this is insane to the amount of the amount of leeway anyway men got in the eighties and nineties with children was ridiculous. We're just gonNA broken my nose. USF Baseball camp and he has us all doing these things. Where like you know you lay on the on the on the ground and you raise your feet raise your arms? Yeah I I remember distinctly goes if I see any you faggots trying to fuck ground ground. I'M GONNA put a baseball up your asshole and I was like I remember being like who's really aggressive talk. I was always that kid though. Like if language got it's crazy that I'm that adult now l. but if language got to look at other people like people that are talking about I do I do the same thing this is but when you when you alarmed and in like back then it's probably was bad. Oh I was talking to my friend about movies like even like we used to love to the nerds and Porky's and you re wash porkies the big thing was jamming your Dick through a hole in the women's locker room the end of the third the end of the third or second act in Renner's when he rapes the girl in the house. Yeah well so was considered rape. She was glad that was great. Oh the panty raid seeing. They just set up cameras of women change. And like it's it's crazy when you think about our grooming young men like you look at. I showed sixteen candles to my girls the other day. And I at the point when Jake Ryan says to Mike and Mike Anthony Michael Anthony Hall. Hey man she's wasted taker. Have Fun with her. And he goes real and he's like do whatever you want and then gives gives his dad's car and the girl and they just and then and then Anthony Michael Hall Fuck Ser and they wake up the next morning. She goes did we and he was like I think we did. She's like did I like it and he was like I think you did. It's like I guess we're boyfriend girlfriend now. Oh my God. That's basically how we were. I was groomed to be a man. Do the I remember in college. You know they were just got roof and it was meant for a girl a guy like he handed a girl drinks. I'm too drunk and I didn't know that I'll drink it. And she. He just gave me this angry. Look otherwise this guy so mad chugged and woke up the next day like fuck I got. He's a predator. That guy I the thing that people I guess you know not to go go to that Frat House they Rufi people. I yeah it's some of the stuff. I know that I know I would never even share with anyone. Because it's so implacable like this is exactly what I was thinking. I couple that that were dating there. Were dating and I said so. Great you guys are and then someone's a gain of the first night. They had sexy repeater. What they're married now? It was like spin anything where you're just like your like who it's like if someone's stalked you and they're like it worked out. Yeah it's so crazy crazy. I remember hearing. That is just showed a clip everyday with flowers and then one day. She's like all right and then they're like we'd been together twenty years you know. Oh I gotTa pee again did. I'm sorry we should wrap it up. I've I've Tom Rhodes coming in. I'm glad this worked out the way to. I'm sorry that that I fucked up listen anytime you ever want to do the podcast you're out in. La these sort open-door. It's an open door to all. I told this to joe yesterday. It's always an open door to any you guys just text Mingo Hayman in Manila. Let's podcast it's I'm being serious. There's certain comics. I could do it with. I can do it with every talk to man. It's it's definitely cool anyone that it technically anyone. That's been on my podcast. I would love to have back on because it's for me. It's a great time to kind of just chill and talk and get like I mean when when are we gonNA talk like this other than on the cruise by the way. I'm going to tell you about that progress on the cruise down released. I want to tell you what the trickle down effect of that way. Because I think you're go holy fuck. You're right yeah you are going to go. Oh my God. I can't wait to hear this awesome. Dude what are you gonna Bro. You guys come out. I don't I have no fucking idea. We're back logging on from my body. Shot store okay. But so maybe this month maybe the beginning of next month. So yeah go Samuel dot com slash gigs and you nominate Mike. TORONTO SACRAMENTO in September. I think and then October I got like Atlanta Acne like a lot a lot of good clubs and I got this podcast with Joe. McKee Jackie Phil and lays the silicone keeping Joe and then I got the new basketball podcast called pod. Don't live you like basketball with STA votes. He's like the funniest dude. That's one of the things that I wanted wanted didn't get a chance to have you ever in the city basketball basketball obsessed with the Knicks. It's like a toxic relationship. I talk about it for hours. But you know. So there's that and then I got a couple of albums and specials on and follow me on instagram. You put out clips daily and they're literally if you are sitting. You're sitting on a train if you're sitting at home getting ready to go to bed flip through Sam's instagram. It is thanks. You're one of the best joke writers in the game. It means a lot man that shows our friends. I'm with you too man. You Nice I like I mean seriously working with guys like an open for guys like you. When I was newer was like I felt lucky? Because it you know how it is star now like it's bad gig after bag it takes a it takes a toll on your soul. These bad rooms was just like disrespect. Interest asshole headliners liners asshole features. That tried to blow you off as it was respected. You and you were also nice. So it's like that's you know you're fortunate to work with people and now I didn't take that for granted you know so thank you now. I'M GONNA GOSSIP. Thanks This episode is brought to you by the machine.

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# 364 - Sam Morril & ME

Bertcast's Podcast

1:53:08 hr | 1 year ago

# 364 - Sam Morril & ME

"Brand new WHOA all the way to start brand new podcast. We're doing a week We're going to try to keep doing two week for the duration of this podcast. It's been easier to get guests and we're backlogged Ogden. We think no better time than the present. Normally we do a something's burning uncut but so we'll we'll side those in 'em aside these extra ones in of. I just started telling everyone one young man. If you're in town hit me up let's podcast. I actually have two podcasts with his first with this today Sam Morale and so we may cover stuff that we talked talked about in the previous one that you will not. I've not heard yet. Will you be posting that one too. I hope you love this guy. He's one of the best joke writers in the game by the way. Did I mention the body shots world tour. Have you word of this thing. It's going viral body. Gent's world tour is happening right now. I was just in Kansas City. I am in Des Moines right now and in Omaha. We've added a second show. Tolson next week Oklahoma City San Antonio Houston nor Charlotte South Carolina North Charleston South Carolina Jacksonville Jacksonville Fort Myers Syracuse Buffalo. We have two shows in Buffalo's at this Shea. Where's that don't know buffalo of two shows Pittsburgh. We have two shows Virginia Beach. Two Shows Baltimore Teachers Montclair New Jersey Two shows Huntington New York to show Cincinnati two shows Columbus to show Chicago. GO-TO shows Cleveland five what anyway I like fucking. Hey this is I thought to myself. I like when Rogan has three Po podcast week. What the fuck why not add to it so I hope you guys enjoy this. I hope enjoy this free content. There is no sponsor today this is just for you. Guys enjoy it. Ladies and gentlemen stand up comedian or price. You tell you a little bit who he is. I've never heard him right. Sam Morell is a great the community. I worked with him in in Hartford Connecticut. We work together. I think was Hartford and absolute love him. He's a big basketball fan. He is a fantastic joke writer one of the best if not I mean one of the best in New York New York comic good friends with Ari and he's Jewish. I'm sure we'll talk about him being Jewish right. I'm almost certainly talk about him being Jewish but regardless. He's just a comedian we I think we spent a little time talking about the shame. Gila the stuff and about you know the state of woke comedy versus call out Kurtz Culture which versus cancel culture but I absolutely we love this guy you will to follow him on on Instagram and he posts a joke a day. They're all topical jokes and they're all really fantastic like I said one of the best joke writers in the business he he's not he's not on the body's door but come find me go to Berber Dot Com. Hey Ladies and gentlemen today's Burr Cast Sam Rural. We'll be fine we how. How long have you been drinking. It's it's not a month yet but it's been like three weeks and my longest is like ten days probably yeah my my longest is a month tober however I do it. I kind of look forward to it like I'm looking forward to this year. Do it every year now. We'll do it every year until almost got. The plug pulled this year because because I think think we got a little intense last year really yeah what do you do really competitive and got really like and it just became like not totally fun all of us. Why is it. Why is it could get competitive? 'cause mostly because Joe is Joe is pretty fucking. Joe's pretty intense but I was taunting joe the entire time yeah and and and you really we wanted to win and so it just wasn't fun this fucking dog's. GonNa drive me nuts put her outside Halston and you're. You're trying to get down and just tell anti-doping her back in the Caitlyn will be home soon but yeah we got really intense about it and initially were like the first year we did it. It was just about who is really just about me not drinking. I mean you know we initially we came up with the name sober October. I think I think our Ian Thomas Joe maybe forgot about the initial name was it was all based on me drinking too much and then we said and enjoy several with Fox just not drinking and doing drugs where we need to get healthy so let's do fifteen hot yoga that was the initial and it was so much fucking walking fun. Do you like doing yoga. I get so bored. I don't Love Yoga. I enjoy it after I don't know game meditating you know I don't know I said meditating but no it's like I meditate and I feel great after but during like I'm so fucking bored brain yeah I signed up I Rocco signed up for classes and and I fuck in missed him I took. I signed up on the wrong day. I showed up on the wrong day and I missed all the fucking classes but and so then last year was super competitive and because we're all wearing heart rate monitors and it was just it was not fun. It was like you'd remember getting done at the Omaha funny bone and running back to the jogging back to the hotel. Tell and staying on the treadmill until one in the morning. Dan just keep my heart rate up and JOE is fucking broke his sprinkler system in his in his fuck in his fire alarm and his workout thing. Tom Got Pneumonia. I mean it was just like so this year. We haven't really talked about saving private. Ryan it was I mean I know it. It sounds silly because it's Joe's competing me. Tom and Ari you know but like the for real I mean. He eclipsed us but this year. We were all texting when we want it to be fun again. Because as part of the thing was that it was fun to not drink and it was really fun go into hot yoga classes with Tom. I went to every hot Yoga Tom Ori Orr Joe Yeah and it was it was like a really cool bonding like get done and we just gossip instagram's stories that just come out then yeah so we were all like fucking hate watching certain instagram story than it was awesome so we're trying to go back to that thirty days in my longest this last month. I was really good. You seem like you like you drink. Harvey don't seem like the type of person that might as an alcoholic. You're so funny. I was in hot spin this morning on though I don't. I don't know I don't know Dr Jerusalem Non Alcoholic. I can stop at anytime. I don't need to drink having said that there are times where I go my not drinking. You know what I mean. It's definitely what now calling say like. I could be drinking. I'M GONNA fuck in baseball game right right. I I don't not that beard a baseball game. It feels un-american almost dog and beer because even when they now they've like Sushi and ship your now hotdog and beer is like baseball. All that is baseball yeah yeah. I write better hungover. That's I kind of feel the same way. I've been too happy to last month it fucking up my writing. I'm when whenever I feel this jokes material you know I don't know what I'm doing. I really been enjoying myself. I met a girl that I kind of like now. I'm like what am I doing this guy. I always have a better comic when I was just miserable hotel room like Sacramento. There's something really fun about being hungover like we were. We were hung over on the tour bus Sunday more Sunday morning. I think we got into Arizona and like everyone's Kinda Millan about waking up and Liam Hand Liam's on the Boston. She had to take a shit came out real hung on you. Not You cannot put on the tour bus at all yeah and so the flaw in the design we tom gets the ones you can sit Lanka's. He's like a beast and he just shits. You can't stop shitting so he gets ones where it's called a grinder so you can sit on the tour Jimmy inauguration. I'm I'm a shot every three hours. It does seem insane. The whole I mean I was out with his ease on the tour bus and he the meals on those tours or the dumb. It's like insane where he he's in food but then he's like one of those people that is in the food and self control and no one else none of Elsa. I'm GonNa Order six main courses. I'm GONNA eat all of it. Oh Yeah and then of course then I'm going to tour bus and I wear whenever Coffee Arthur. This is a hundred percent we were on the tour bus and this is like I love being hungover. I got high the night before and I was still a little high and I. I don't know what we were watching but with. Someone aggressively wrestled saying the N. Word but it was a black guy right and I said I said Hey Zeus. I really wish I could say the N. Word like I would love. I grew up on on so much hip hop than I watched. Appel special and I realized how effective that word is is suppose special thing fuck time too. It's like it's like the best and I said I said I really wish that they would just green light it for everyone because I would and then and then we start riffing a bit because you're hung over who change your actual mush though all I would know no but like I said if what if there was a tax you pay as a white guy to get anywhere privileged. How much would you pay a month and as you said how much you you pay a month ago ten grand I ten grand all if I could use it at dude I would over use it like I over us to the point where I stopped using white privilege right there ten grand for the N. word. Oh and then but he's like it's fun because you're hung over and you're riffing is no. There's no better feeling. He was like what he goes. You'd have to pass a test first to make sure you're not racist. Oh that's that's interesting. If you can pay the ten grand I forget what we forget what the bit was but I love being hung over and kind of riffing bit. I told me what the good news is. If you don't don't pass it and you're racist you still have that kind of disposable. Income still really good life but it's actually raises. Its is crazy. I was talking we we're talking about the Shane Gillis thing yeah and I was saying oh saying to someone who was like yeah I I know him. I met him a few times time. Yeah I think I worked with him. In philly it really sweet I yeah and then some someone said you have how how would you know if he's racist and I was like I guess I'm white. I wouldn't really pick up on anything but he's done. I don't I never saw him to be racist. At all over the last time we both wearing hoods so it was hard to tell but no it all came out and supported him today Rob Schneider whose Asian definitely is. He's Asian is Alikhan Gigolo. No he rob Schneider Yeah. No I talked talked to. I talked to Ronnie Chang for Awhile. He's a friend of mine. He's really funny. Yeah tell US great in America in a Creche Asians. I didn't see I heard he was great and he's a funny comic and a and you know we talked about it a little. I I feel I have friends who are like on both sides which is kind of the way I want it. You know you don't want to have one friend who only on one side of it. You're you're you're. You're in trouble but friendly was true. It's a problem but no Shane. I met him like two years ago. We worked together. He was is featuring permit helium a couple of years at helium and he's he was kind of the guy in Philly. I felt like he was like the guy who so he reminded me of me. Where I was like at that point you you know where I was like. A little annoyed featuring like he was an overqualified feature. He was a really strong comic and and I sense there was some of that anger there and I kind of like that. I it means. A comic is hungry so I liked him for that and then he killed on the show's not a fun weekend together but I didn't know super well but you know when you see a guy that you know no is working that hard and is struggling. You're happy they get a break and then so I talked to someone last night he just said Yeah. It doesn't make none of this makes you feel good yeah yeah none of it because he's he paid his this life is filled with such loneliness and isolation and and you know it's such an uphill battle that when you finally get that one a good moment it's taken away that quickly fucking sucks man that is that is top of the mountain to bottom of the valley yeah you can't. That's your highest moment in your career and what that's what I think. That is the that he may be. The biggest I meuse head on the wall for cancelled coulter. He took sweet spot on that SNL short lived did you did you know the know. What's what's her name? Got Fired First Day Sam Puck who the beautiful any slate any sleep right so far that's true and I was like she was on. SNL and they're like she's AH fire saying fuck and I went but things that I mean things worked out for you know movies and stuff. I don't think it's GonNa. I think it's going to be more of an uphill for him. We'll because it sucks for him. Is that like a lot of the people that are really on his side. Now you gotta be careful because the people that are like too supportive of it. I think most people who are just like. Oh this sucks you lost a gay but then there's some people that are like no faulk like you gotta be careful of the way too hard core people because then you're going down then you start playing those like like you get a certain people. Re tweet your poche fuck. Should I have not said that. You know what I mean. Nick Thune called me one time. He goes delete tweet why it goes this guy. Just re tweeted it. It was a guy that nick AIDS he goes. Don't delete that tweet fewer tweets anything you. I don't WanNa be on the same faultline. Is that guy. That's true though because there's a lot of guys like that where you like like even like I'm friends with friends with the Chad Zuma chat a lot but when that don't like what he was doing a patent exactly. I'm like Yo Bro. I can't can't died while you trolling. I can't cosign on that. Shit sweet guy lost. His wife and his daughter lost his mom and he has to deal. I can't imagine his wife's book was fucking brilliant it was. I didn't read it. It's insane. It's like one of the best written things. It's like a true crime. Masterpiece is incredible in the and so like in that moment let you go. You're right you go I can't i. It's hard to compartmentalize these days of go. I can still be your friend by can't you can't be a part of because you know if my wife died. I'd be they would light me up. They'd light me up. There'd be million joke especially if it was like she she died because of an overdose I mean I just can't imagine I can't i. That's Shane Gillis's next move. He's got to have like a dead wife and then people were like he's had a really hard. Maybe maybe we s shy. He's a tragedy now. He needs an Asian Nevada Asian girlfriend so funny is like my handful Info of our best friends or Asian but a handful of friends that are Asian just living in. La Yeah and they were like they were not offended. All they're like whatever they're like. Give no idea that's a He's had it on a podcast when my one friend said imagine being it being yell at you on a bus and years old by grownups and I was like as against because because yeah brings back bad feelings but like she goes. I don't think he should be fired. The Andrew Yang posted that right that was at the coolant Andrew Yang posted where we said you know. This is like instead of being punitive. This could be a moment almond. We kinda come together. That was kind of paraphrasing but like that's. I think that's kind of like when I work with Shane. He didn't say anything like that. Made me feel like like I definitely I thought it was weird that he closed on me so horny but like other than that you know he was he was great. You know I was trying to say that. It was a joke but you have to explain jokes now so now now I don't he didn't do that. I was going to pull that out of a podcast. It'd be like see he did do that. I texted someone he should. His apology should have just been me so so sorry the here's the thing that I was obsessed with this weekend like what people don't understand is sometimes sometimes in comedy. The joke is the most offensive thing you can say like it because the way at least the way I do not the way I do. I guess it's changed a little bit but the comedy I enjoy is the company that surprises me like yell. Tell oh it's always leaves me. I'm only I quoted. Tell every day I feel and that's that's the problem with some Some comics are way too clever and you're already two steps ahead of them. Yeah you're like like there's so clever. This was a member Bobbie. Kelly and I sit in the back at the Improv time. I'm watching a bunch of like at the time it was like the scene and their jokes were so clever like such a twist on puns that you were like. I'm guessing it already yeah. I need the guy that comes from comes from out of nowhere like enough whimsey hidden on the Dick. Yeah you want a Gut Punch you. I want to punch you. Don't you don't respond to a joke like this. You WanNa fucking laugh. That's the I I don't know man I I I guess I just fell for him because he he to me was kind of coming about it the right way on stage at least and that's all. I really paid attention to but like I saw someone post something yesterday about yesterday about it where it's like you know if you if you not one of those people that's like you podcasting. I think was comic. Sean P McCarthy wrote this. We said if you're like podcast comics knows the different different. Guys Sean S. McCarthy yeah the comic scholar. This guy was like saying basically you're you're. You're basically working for free. You're doing like hours hours of podcast. They're just kind of develop a fan base and if you then lucky enough to get tab you have this inventory that they just going through something with the intention of being offended it to me is like a little crazy and that's what they do it and some people think snl creating this buzz but I think it's like just for some reason s analysis like still this high up highly regarded position where it's like do not fuck and run for office your comic. It's not even I mean shows okay but yeah. It's it's very seldom. Does it make me laugh. I gotta be honest. I washed one recently and I was like maybe it was a bad episode but a kind of was like Oh wait pretty painful. Jochen chair fun is such a great standup yeah those two together though a laugh you know jokes like when they do we can tape with the characters. I've never really I don't really I'm not around. I don't know I just just watch Eddie Murphy when he's on it. Yeah I watch I mean everyone what are what are they. GonNa do how how are they. GonNa put Eddie Murphy on lately. It's gotten so complicated. Cancel culture where you're like you gotta cancel that modify what about like every episode when when Eddie Murphy going on every sketches sketches him and Shane Gillis they just bring in Shane for that just to Piss off Eddie Murphy's fucked up shouldn't have stand up dude. That's why I say it does so selective with what they do so what he did Dr Doolittle. You're not mad like he said fucked up Shit. Do people have said that's why it's like you could look back and be like this guy's hog push. It could be like Oh. That was a different time the bomb with I I heard a lot of people saying it was like a year ago. I think that hurt him. Whether it was just it was like it was like a couple weeks ago that was yesterday the I think what they should have done is they should have put up a vote online first episode and giving him a punishment onscreen the screen for the very opening monologue where they go audiences voted and they were going to be a ten inch scar from your above your ear down your face into your lip so it's going to look like the joker but that's your punishment you take it and he goes. I do and they go all right. Shane now is okay and we have agrees. I feel like that's the only thing that we're going to be cool with this like penance like where where people go are. We have branded a swastika on your back. Now you can have do show back and she's like okay and then we get to watch branded you know as I was thinking about to change that gives a New Yorker who loves Chinese food. I would feel for him just going into like are they. GonNa spend new food every time now you can never get Chinese food ever again yeah you you say Gillis on the phone or like by the way. There's a joke right right there. I mean that sucks yeah. It's he's a dude. I saw putting in work so I I just know how tough this is and and and like I get why the people that are mad mad but I also just like it's interesting because the Chapelle special came out and people were like Oh. I'm so sick of the triggered stuff. I heard you know you know. Obviously I thought the Chapelle specials really funny but I heard some people say that and I heard some people were pissed and like no one's losing jobs over and I was like well. They did no one's losing jobs. No Yeah so funny. When I got hired travel channel they vetted everything done and there were like I had a meeting and they were like okay and that a list I mean they remember anything. They said. Oh one hundred percent I pulled up shut off line line and then the second I got fired from travel channel. I just put it back all of online a guy like at a joke about it's Kinda. Hacking now is just hacky in honestly but but they were worried that it was racist. It was I I drove a my fucking fucking. GPS took me out on the taping of comfortably. I took me back roads and it took me through south central. I've kind of forgot the joke oke now and my my gps like take a left on crenshaw boulevard role of your windows. quit go go go run. The lights run the lights and so they're like to take that town. I had a job I had a video. I that's like pretty harmless. you know they were. I mean across the board. They were soup there. Were there were like you've on Joe Rogan's podcast. There's video of you smoking marijuana. Can you please get in take that down those like I was like well well. No I didn't see Jeff. Joe's w take down like we can't teach US podcast anymore. I was like Oh you're out of your fucking mind yeah. I'm doing jobs podcast. We'll then please don't smoke marijuana and Joe's podcast asked and I was like what the fuck are you talking about jokes this used it didn't bother joe understood it but it bothered. I think bothered him integrally and I think everyone knew but when he lit a joint common knowledge that the camera never hit me and so it never hit me never saw me reaching for it and when I got fired from travel channel and I did his podcast for the first time he's like. Oh guess he smoked marijuana now and I was like yeah but it was like there was a lot of stuff like my book. I wrote a book and they read it and they were like no wow they were first and then this. Ross Babbitt was the was there a a certain point. You're just kind of like well. All this other stuff is going to help my career more than you guys well right and that was like you know. I was the number one party animal like got my fame shitting on pizza box USA Funny Sam they did. They did a promo one year where they they when the second season of birth conquer were they put my face on pizza boxes and birth conquer Sunday nights for families order a pizza and they teamed up like Papa John's or some pizza company and they had a million boxes with my face on it and the first thing when those boxes got sent online everyone's like you know he shit on a pizza box to win an election in college. That's how he got. Famous and traveled ten was like what the fuck and I was like. You should have run it by me. I would have told you not to do a pizza box. That's amazing amazing yeah so but it's yeah but I I went was fairly heavily vetted. Have you heard Mackie's nine eleven box. Joke Joe Mackie's Joe. We said they they said never forget on the pizza box nine eleven and then and they forgot his breadsticks. Do I wanNA see Joe mackey. I've never seen him do. Santa is like the best job co-creator for real. I think he's like the best yeah all infuriates me as a human because I've known for too long but he's like he's like he's whenever like we both had a lot of a topical. Shit and it's ninety nine point five percent better than mine. He's he's great. What was what would you is that your. Mo Now is just burn through topic worship. Put it online minded up immediately. Sometimes I'm also burnt out from topical ships. I was writing so much of his announ just kind of sick of it and I'm back to like writing jokes but I don't know yeah he the Joe is fucking great at that. He's that's like but yeah when when you just need to burn through stuff because I don't know where my next special is. I'm just going to tape a special in December December if no one buys it by then because I just I need a deadline but but yeah I think you just gotTa burn through jokes now. It's crazy it's. I don't think there's anything anything wrong with taping a special putting it off to the side working on a new our getting a new our ready seem where you are and then having two years worth of material like yeah yeah. I'm GonNa Place now where my last special I did. I had way more than an hour's worth of material and so I I kinda got to pick and choose and then and a went through and I I it was such a great place to be where I was like. I need something I just put this in just need this. I got an old thing from Europe without in Yeah Yeah. I guess I'm just burn through a law right now. So I feel like I've like basically an hour. I'm happy with now but I I also just burned so much material online and and I just Kinda don't really WanNa do trump jokes in the or I'm just sick and trump jokes and I would put. It's so weird how people were like. It's the same people that are like like Oh. You can't take the joke and I make a pretty down the middle trump joke in the like you fucking hack. I'm just like it's this is not a political. I never was like like I'm pretty liberal but I never was like. The pandering. Liberal on state never wanted to be that. I don't think I think that by Nature Co.. I'm just contrarian like I most comic so yeah. I think most is coming by nature or just contrarian. I've a bit mine new our where I say I'm GONNA say offensive stuff and they all cheer and then I say something offensive that clearly they're not on board with and they grown and go remember when you guys didn't get offended. I've been we said Avenue contrary intake why I think Shane Gillis deserves a purple heart. That's my new take and and no I have bill burr does Bor takes the most ridiculous and rock rockies always do yeah like but yeah burr is like the master master of that you know is is fun watching his brainwork. I know him well enough now. We've done enough stuff where like you see that it just does not shut L. Yeah I mean like obsessive compulsively like almost to the point where I can't imagine being his wife and being like Yo like spin class. Today I was right in this bit and I'm doing the fuck in voices like I can't help it secured as it to. I don't know if what do you do it when you're working a bit. You're like yeah totally yeah. Talk it out. Yeah talk it out and I'm doing it. My sister's next week. She goes fucking enough. Stop doing a bit. Oh do to help with a girl yesterday with the murder the Museum of death and I was like I'm creepy than the fuck and museum taken. I'm just taking like the voice memos because she was saying. How scary was my whole angle on. That was like well. This is like the best. I didn't realize how good a date spot. This was because you're like you never know what could happen like look at all these dead bodies you know now you could get killed tomorrow. Yeah no carpeting over Dan Yeah but we. What's the Death Museum Mike. It's cool. It's like I think I saw that. It's on Hollywood yeah. It's like someone told me to go. Someone told me but then yeah everyone is obsessed with true. I'm a kind of Szeswith true crime now so really I just. I mean if there's a new Murdoch Doc. I'm GonNa like the jinx or like the staircase I loved I loved I o o you you will be so happy to watch jinx. I think it's about Robert Durst who very wealthy Manhattan family and they owned a lot of real estate and he was accused of just it's kind of a tragic story watch his mother died and then he basically is accused of these murders and it's the way it unravels is like it's you know it's weird. It's Andrew directly directed it and he directed a telling Jefferson special. Oh for real it is amazing. I mean this you will love the Jank's. You'll be so happy and the earlier cases like thirteen episodes but it's it's fucking incredible. I love finding new stuff to get into on his side here. We have no I have no. I I feel like I'm a victim of of What's the right word for this you know when you you Google and Nike? ESPN low dunks and then your facebook and they come up to the right and then all that comes into your feet is shit. You've googled yeah then. You're like why there's so much shit about Cardi B. and and you're like I don't. I'm not interested in Carb but based on my fucking very simple minded google searches. They're like Oh. You must like Cardi B. You have like top forty gays because I'm GonNa Taylor Swift so they're like okay then you're. I'm sure you're also in the Cardi B. so like same Netflix like you like comedy the and and and Wildlife Video. I'm going to send you some true crime racks. You're GONNA love them. They're fucking great. I just watched one. There's one called I love you now die and it's about this eighteen neuro- girl that convinces her boyfriend to commit suicide and he does it. It's only two episodes pretty fucking incredible but they have all their tech saved so the tax just keep popping up throughout the thing and and it made me realize how fucking annoying a Textra Holy Shit because she's neediest hell like she'll be like. Why aren't you answering me why I don't do shit but I'm also like wow when you see what what you light tax. You're like holy. This is different. I do not send his much texts now because I was that guy really. I didn't understand texting so I was just like. What do you mean like when taxing I started? I just thought I duNNo. I thought it was more like the polk was like it was like was okay to just like just needle someone nonstop really. Oh yeah and I had to learn their certain people. I actually won't taxed 'cause I don't WanNa look needy but don't you feel I feel a little smothered when someone just calls me out of the Blue I'd rather I'd rather phone calls really I would like Surpri. I yeah because I think that's my brain works as a comics. I like riding on stage so I like riding onstage with a phone call. Working text out is like takes me forever like I'm like I that's why I'm so jealous of people who can talk in emojis or means for gifts lie. I'd love to be able to do that. I there but they're less creative. You're using words. They're using fucking. I hate gifts. Oh unless it's like the right time for a GIF. Tom Garage is so good at lake. Take like you'll say something and then it'll be like and then Tom Reply Kermit's sipping tea or whatever I don't I don't. I don't know what a good gift Matanza good writer. I mean that's what I mean. When you're ready when you're ready can when you already have that skill and you know but like a lot of people just use it as a crutch. I think I would love to just get out of I would like them them to break the Internet entirely like if a sick of you sick every time I look at twitter like why am I doing this myself. I don't like it too and it's only designed like civil of fucking stupid. I posted a job yesterday about at SNL on. I said like Colorado still looking for a job. I got so many comments comments of like cushy fucking sucks. That's why and I was like I have to explain a joke to you. fuckers yeah like that's how that's how angry and it's funny. You used the word trigger both sides. I'm so sick of that word but people can't just be like he was making a joke even if you disagree with a joke look at the intent of a joke instead of being like colony capital fucking socks he doesn't suck he was a good football player. I think he'd be a cool friend to be really fun to hang with Yeah Yeah. I know you like there'd be times where you make a joke like hey man you like eight Colin. Take on this one. He didn't know you also where you're like. How many facebook status do I need to post your thing like I. I got I cared too but you you more active than I am. I get it Bro I get it. I get it more. Can you fuck in. Please corner of your hair with the fucking movies. This is rude. I understand that your culture but the guy behind you can't see anything he's gotta sit back seat every time hundred percent fucking. Can you imagine I'd get carsick sat in the front seat of a car and I sat behind him because I can't see in front of me. I get carsick. Is that racist. It should be a good news segment on your podcast. Is that races that racist I wanted to do I wanted to I'm and maybe I should do it now. Maybe it's hot now. I wanted to get a website. Call brand new stereotypes dot com that what I wanted to call it. Yeah we talked about now. It'd be really interesting. faulk was so fascinating is that so many Asian people were were appalled by Shane Gillis's use the use of of of racism but the basis of crazy rotations the whole premise of the movie is that Asians are racist like the whole premise of the movie is indeed defended by saying. It's different when you like racist within. I get it's funny I I I think I would that's true I classify posted a joke recently about being a Jew and like the most antisemitic moment I ever had and it was like turned out to not be like the term was that it was like that someone denied me a seltzer somewhere you know and that was like the turn and people were like this is actually a message from a few people being like I really like your comedy but there's a kind of a problematic. Which one do you mean what what what 'cause they thought okay so I I had one bit wide. Say Yeah kind of describe that you know. I didn't have that bad. I kind of I do a lot of jokes about being a Jew but I'm not a religious Jew which is culturally how I am. and someone was like this is a problem because it really is a rise in hate crimes and Anti Semitism and I was like that's cool but that's also like you give me a lot to cover in a fucking forty second joke. You know what I mean yeah. I'm also like a comedian and you know. Sometimes you just being funny. It's so weird people. I actually said to him. I I usually reply hi and say you know this is why I think you're wrong but I. I'm happy to hear where you're coming from. 'cause I think when you just dismiss people. That's an issue to dude. I have said I've said things on this podcast cast that were way off base and sometimes horrific and one of the coolest things is when people that listen the gas direct message me and go man big Fan. I just want to tell you why what you said in this episode so fucked up and I remember this guy texted me and told me I I was an initial reaction was I was. It's a bit I'm working on like it's not figured out and then and then and then I read his thing and I was like I was like yeah. I guess that was and then I replied hey. Thanks for like number looking out for you in their mind. Thanks for lighting me up socially and just direct messaging me as a as a friend but no why did that stop that used to be a thing. You'd pull someone aside to be like hey do now. It's just like this guy. Did this one time what fucking when did that happen. I think it became they. They're like congratulate themselves like I see people posting shit about Shane Gillis and I'm like why no you cheat on your your wife. You know what I mean like a you. fucking good person like it's funny. These people like you say okay so you so you think the type of person you beat up your girlfriend beat up his girlfriend fucking you recycle but you fucking lie to people so they think they're a good person or something where they they use the proper nomenclature but they also like yeah but like when you accused of domestic violence so it's like okay there's shades of being a good person situations or nuance twitter's not the best place to have lots yeah so. I looked at it and I'm just Kinda like be careful. You throw in a guy under the bus hard and what he did is like yeah. We know now that certain things are not good but who the fuck of you is really what I want to save lives you. Who the fuck do you think you are. It's it we all have dirt. We can all be better and we all dirt. That's really whenever any of these people flag something and go and let them up part of me goes news. There's gotta be a moment where they go. Hold on. What am I said on like. What have I done member. Larry Craig the fucking politician he was like the guy was super anti-gay and then he like Netapp at the guy under the urinal all right. You went real hard. Can you imagine sucking someone's Dick in a in a in an airport terminal bathroom. I mean do you know how Horny you have. Free security oppose security there was that was that was post security wasn't it was post nine eleven yeah. I can't imagine how horny you have to be. What was what was attended to tell how the joke that goes. I don't want to put words in a tells mouth. It was about fucking kids versus cigarettes. Wow Damn I already like with this going though it it was it was the if if the need to fucking child is equivalent to that as long as I get it he because I'm getting off planes going. I just gotTa fuck a kid real quick. That was a five hour flight. I was talking to friends like I know I should quit but no I cigarette. I just can't I just I just feel like Jim. Jefferies was alone I should probably I think it might be a bit. He's working on. I was like he jim. Jeffries said something brilliant to me privately. Komo let me share it. You know it's some of those lines ahead. It's also like sometimes something really really offensive will make me giggle like that's just how it goes. You know like we're desensitize but also it's harder for us like I've met Shane. I know Shane not well but I know enough to be like yeah. I think he was a nice guy nine. I think he was you know a funny guy so when you know someone you assume their intentions are not that you know even if I heard someone like I find you've said fucking looking harbor anti-semitic. Shit to me and I'm just kind of like if their intentions are good and I usually like I was kind of Lazy. Take you know like if you're going to fucking bugging you. WanNa be a good comment so I think that's kind of my issue with it more than just don't be a fucking lazy. Racism is lazy. It's been it's almost like being like black people do this. It was like well well. That's lazy you. You're being lazy writer generalizing and Generalizing Lazy for jokes well so it's bad if anything is bad for comedy. Usually I think I I I would argue if that joke was better yeah. I think more comics would've jumped to defend him of cool. I think I think it was. I think a lot of people's introduction auction to him. That's that's what's really upset and this is introduction could have been. SNL and instead is that yeah and and I don't think I don't I try to Defend I. I always I try to defend podcast because I've said things in podcasts where I've been cut off and because I've been cut off. I didn't get to finish my thought and so it just looks like I had a half baked. They'RE GONNA cut out from from this podcast Shane Gillis's. There was a purple heart. That's GONNA get Outta. This black ask dude. I fucked up one of my jokes this weekend in Kabu so joke I have maybe the best joke of ever written in my life right yeah because it really toes a line and it and I gotta be honest with you my favorite Song I've ever written but I fucked it up. Bad and in the fuck up is just racist talk and I was like and I and I there's no there's nothing you can do in that moment like you. Just gotTa go okay. I got like fucked up. I put the really as you fucked it up. a third of the way into the joke. Dan and I went God damn it. This is why you don't smoke pot. Get high to watch Dave Matthews and then go. I'll just figure it out on stage fucking wasted and I fuck in just like someone videotape this. I'm it just it's first of all. I got really really upset. I go if someone videotapes us and puts online then what bums me out is that as people's introduction to that joke and then it ruins the real joke the real joke. The joke is great but if you see that then you already get it really just sucks it would fuck in bummy out so much that if someone among grabbed that posted online at Bert Kreischer because you go no that's not the joke. I fucked fucked hi. I'm sorry I fucked it up like yeah I get high. I sometimes you can get on stage and I shouldn't have I know because of this but man it was it I was like holy. Fuck Man. That's a brand new level like what if someone goes like pull someone's act and goes this is he. I'm video ducas. All does videotape now yeah well do you do you think in regards to the whole thing. Do you think he should not have even apologized or do you think he had to. I would have apologized politics. Have your salary by the way there's I. I don't like the forest apology I think it sucks because when you somebody who think he apologized personally. I don't think he apologized properly. I agree I think I I think he genuinely was sorry here. Here's my hot take. I think he's young. I think he was probably influenced by a bunch launch of older comics are like don't say don't vote and say sorry don't cezary fuck it bucket and I think lower Michael's called him and said Amen. You got fuck in five minister minister an apology really I. I'm almost certain tell that happened. I'm not official but yeah I think I think they pretty much. Call them in like you better fucking apologize now and I think he wrote an apology. That was half hearted. There is one Asian female comedian. I don't know who she is. Who was fucking so funny are wanted to re tweet her because her her replies but now there's an implication. If you tweet someone then you're like throwing him into the Boston Austin you like and by the way but I just I'm like you said I'm on both sides events. Like what does she say. Do you remember Oh. It was so good. 'cause I guess he in his apology. There was still a blue line where he was going to keep writing stuff. He just please tell me you didn't write this in. I'm not on your phone with a voice text with a sandwich in your end. Please tell me your apologies crafted at a computer like an adult. That's fucking. It was so funny. Only hours like are followed her he also but he also yeah you you have to if you're GonNa do it you have to do. I mean I thought it was also funny that he posted. I got us a now. No Ellen can take that away from me. I'm like that's what they did. They took it away from you. That's what everyone replied that. Tell you open it. No you take that away from for me. It's gone but it was it was it was this one as in check. I was followed was like Goddamn. If she's funny as Fuck Shit there was no are you could tell she was obviously you. You know like that fact. That was a lazy whatever she was like the way we would be but if you're in the middle I mean you get the people who super the WO- Super. Woke people people and then you get the super like fuck that you can say whatever you get those two but then there's like the people in the middle who Kinda WanNa reason to be on your side but aren't sure and then you write the apology the right way and you kinda get some of those people back. There's there are a ton of things I would legit apologize for yeah and then there's things ride go. Hey man apologize for that because clearly it's a joke and if you don't understand the idea and and I would hope that like comics would come to defend me on certain certain jokes. I've made in the past right. There on specials probably same I've seen I've said that I'm like. I wouldn't make joe today and it's not because I'm like you. Just kinda any changes the person it doesn't mean someone to comfortably dominant. I said no and then when they went to buy it and Eric no no. I'm not I'm there's nothing. I'm ashamed of on that but there's a lot of stuff. I'm not proud of shooter like Rago. It's lazy writing. It's me being young. I've seen a lot of good stories. It's great stuff yeah but like but still I can just go like I'm passed all of that kind of that type of writing especially I've grown past and now we're amount I. I like what I'm doing so I wouldn't want someone to see that I personally and by the way nothing's offensive or cancelable in that obviously central aired it but like there are things yeah. I wouldn't want that to be the representation of WHO. I am today I in my special. I remember I have a seven minute dead baby joke in my last special and and it's fucking really tasteless and I think it's still funny I think but it's a true story about the gator that eight the baby in Florida seven minute bit on it because because I got an a woman walk down and it was a whole thing and it's funny I'm like I never checked the comments but let me see what the comments here and a lot of them are like I hope he fucking dies like fucking but then I'm also kind of like but the writings pretty yell at least give me the writings pretty good here you know so so I kind of look at it like is that bit defensible but then I defended by being like I'm I'm making fun of more. The woman who is outraged and I am the actual baby and I was kind of just trying to poke her fuck with her because because I hate the idea of someone coming to a show. There are people that will that's the thing is. I think that the woke site doesn't understand is because they don't do the clubs away we do there. Are there is a certain type of person that we're talking about that. They may not know oh who comes to the show and is looking to get fucking offended so that's that's who we're talking about when we so this is a woman she really got up in the middle of the show and she said this is. This is a fucking brand new bit. I tried. It was like two days after the baby I'd eaten at at Disney. I said I don't mean to come off like a gun but I think that baby were armed. It's still be with us and she walked out she goes fuck dude and she and then and I tried to pull her back into the room said hold on did you even watch the baby's funeral which was on TV which obviously wasn't on TV. I was just fucking with her at that point and I said the mother came onto tier said seal later alligator better son so that added that she fucking writes a scathing in the cellar and I was like the seller so cool they just forwarded to me and they're like this is the funniest email of ever so the email became the bit. I had to go into that to do the bit but the email became the bit and am I really so I look at the shame thing I'm like. I didn't even watch the video of him saying 'cause I don't WanNa see it. It's video in an I beyond good. No it's not good. It's not good and it's it's definitely not even funny. It's it it it does it. Does I mean I I I can definitely I definitely understood but it wasn't like. I I didn't find it to be out out. I'll tell you what I'll tell you what I think. Personally I think the especially the people that you saw online the woke community Promo Promo Asian defy got upset. I think I think is a felt like he was making fun of their dad or the mom who who were like hard-working sure immigrants in this country have been getting fucking kicked on the Dick. Their whole fucking life. We're doing these. GonNa be extra when Shane gets that two hundred dollars a month from Andrew Yang like it's you know I think when you talk about like I think that's ultimately ultimately what it was. I remember I remember hearing someone say that. I'm sure I'm repeating that I would also. I mean the promise I usually. I'm used to defending pending jokes. It's hard to defend podcast with the job. I would say you making the jokes about you but this is the thing he said that it from what I heard. We wasn't trying to be funny so I I went back to the gator thing because it was like that was made for the for people's enjoyment that was made but I would. I would argue that everything everything I say on. A podcast is a is a premise in waiting like every like all everything I say in life. I'm hoping it's funny. I'm never like going like I don't. I don't really have like serious thoughts a bunch so like everything's hopefully I hope it turns into a bit everything and and so even stuff. I've said on podcast which wjr I would I would. I wouldn't offend all of it. I wouldn't have had have but it is crazy. When you go like I I in my head I go. I'm sure they're hoping a bit shows up having been someone who's done a million podcasts. I could see that they were hoping a bit showed up but it was just like it just and I think I think ultimately. I think you know there was this. There's this really fucking warm blanket of Obscurity Obscurity when you're obscure and you say whatever you just trying to get people to fucking pay attention at all like I mean just like I mean my I named I named if you look at my I I don't know what special it is or whatever I would title things. Let's talk about black people hoping hoping that people would wanna be outraged and then I convert them with laughter never worked. Isn't that also like so many of the premises. We love you know like when they clap too much in the setup. IV That's why we liked bill burs because he kinda takes something provocative but he does honest way that it doesn't feel like he's bathing. People feels like he really really thinks this and I guess part of what annoys me is like you know I dealt with a lot of blowback for a rape joke in two thousand thirteen. I remember I remember that holy. That's a joke I wouldn't tell today and it's not because I don't think it's a good joke. It's like the way you talk about comfortably dumb. It's I I still the joke joke was I said I was sleeping with the black girl and the whole time we having sex she dropped the n word loosely together. She was like no and then I pause and I say you guys were scared. I was GONNA say the N. Word and then you're like thank God. It's a rape. Jokes thought it made a point kind of but it's just not worth it to me and now I feel like I it's kind of it's not who I am as a person anymore or a comic but to me at the time you have less material and it was a joke that would kill and it was kind of interesting to me but I it was interesting because I'd see people kind of turn in on me a little bit on twitter and stuff and wait what happened that is I remember. This was like for people listening. There are things in our community eighty that happen and then you catch on on like a month later as a comic and someone's like you don't know what happened and wasn't it yeah. I was at the cellar and this woman the crowd just hated me and she really hated me and she wrote this hit piece on me. I woke up one day and she wrote this piece on me. Were I remember. I E mail Colin Quinn about it for advice. I was like what would you do in this situation. I because I wrote a response and I said what do you look at it and he said of course listen he was so he's so cool about that stuff and he said I said. Do you think this is okay and he said yes. It's absolutely I would post it because she took jokes of yours. At a context she omitted punch lines on purpose. I mean this is a hit piece. He's trying to humiliate you and I think at the time I was just kind of. I was so I always like right before I started doing TV spots assuming you were really young. I was young in life. I was young I just in comedy but in life and I remember my mom was so upset by it. All really you know yeah. 'cause I think on on on every side where it's like. I say the same thing like nothing about it. Makes you feel good. That's kind of how I think. She fell and but it was a joke that I thought so yeah I think I think it was a thing where she wrote this piece of me. I want to reply then it kind of blew up a little bit in our world at least and it's funny. Some of the people start defending you. You're like well. I don't WanNa be defended for that reason. It's tough because you they'll be like you can joke about like whatever and it's like well. I'm not I am against lazy writing. That's like hack that people people were just saying like you could say whatever you should be somewhat responsible with jokes because you're comic and this is your job so you know have some respect for and I thought I was being gene. there were two jokes set that she flipped out about. I did another joke. I said my ex girlfriend you know. I never to wear a condom with her because she was on the Pill Ambien and you know so the due to joke. She went nuts off in the peace and I gotta be honest. I looked at both of them. Intact hannah-beth pretty solid wrong but but I I mean jokes you stop telling because you just grow out of them and you grow a comic as a dump material but I was a young comic and we understand. You're doing these open mics doing these shitty shows and you're doing. I wasn't doing Mike Anymore at that point because I was at the salad but like you do in the road. You're doing anything you know. These rough bar shows we just get people to pay attention so yes go for the shock laugh laugh sometimes and I definitely did away. I'm way more thoughtful with jokes and I used to be because you just grow as a calm and can be and when you're younger. It's Rogan said one time. I think it was a Rogan. It might have been me I don't I don't remember I remember having a conversation with him. He said it's funny when I started doing comedy. It's like you have a toolbox and you're like. Oh my God the nails is finally going in and you don't realize you're using a screwdriver to hit the nail in for your like fuck it. That's what I got and you just hit you gotta ranch the wrench works for everything it hammers it wrenches and then you get older and you're like wait. I could just use this to wrench and then I can use the hammer and then you start getting more things in your toolbox and you're like Oh God and then you look back. You're like God. I built that House with the fucking with pliers. I can't believe I like now. I know how to use pliers but wasn't it. You wrote a response. Sushi lost her. Did she lose her mind. She wrote another piece to me and I was like well. I mean she wasn't using logic to me. It wasn't like the way she was arguing. Just didn't really it makes sense to me so it's Kinda like I'm done so there. Were people that were like Kerr. Mexico is really jumping on board. Kurt is this is this is the story I remember. We'll crew went nuts and then coach said this is crazy. This woman Kirk goes this is. I don't know how to admit this but she's a woman that Salmon I created for your amusement which was a complete lie. Hi But people were like I remember. I think Kilmartin go back. You guys are brilliant like I can't believe you created someone this ridiculous so that really pissed in that and then she I think she didn't tip-off mental breakdown because she was like. I don't think I thought that's what I heard is that people thought everyone thought she was fake and everything she wrote. They thought you guys were I think he was just just kind of trolling at that point but then but then yeah a lot of people jumped on and it's funny at first these comics offend you were like wow what a what a good guy to do and then you realize like oh no these other comics mentally ill as well and they just they just want to jump on the Grenada for you know the guy who like a bar fight or some everything and some yeah well that was really cool with him but then he liked keeps beating the person too much dude. I don't like you just like to fight. I think you the best of the best is because Lis Liza traeger had a very insightful thing that you read about this angle. It's completely forgot she had done like I mean completely. A bit is this just just happened to her like fucking hilarious months ago but that's also like you can grow as a human being but also don't forget that we're all none of us are infallible. We fuck up yeah yeah so that's why I kind of don't like uh all fucked up like a win win lease. She said I was like I was like I was like no. Yeah I get it. I get it. You're trying to write jokes. You're trying to be outrageous trying to be funny like I was. I'll stand by a comic. Try and write a job when you change immediately. It is a thing we were like. Oh you did do that. I saw you do that. You're just like but what was she was. It's funny she came out and said some stuff and then about this chain stuff yeah and her point was is accurate. I thought I thought it was I think it was maybe just don't you know I think she's young so she has an impulse to throw her thoughts online lot whereas I just go. I'm not fucking so I'm out. I'm GONNA fucking spent time with my kids going to the pool and get a beer exact and so but her point was accurate is like just because your comic doesn't mean you're mentally mentally stable or a good person like like there's a lot of comics that you and I think both of us agreed that I know a lot of comments that are really bad. People like and just 'cause you're comic. I'm not gonNA stay like I'll stand by your attempt to being funny but there are some re. We were just having a conversation on the tour bus. We're talking about comics that are bad people like me. We were going through a list of guys that like stay away from their bad people. I want this list long along and then and then we were telling stories about why they're bad people sharing it and it was just like getting like fuck. You're like holy fuck man so but but like that's the other thing. I think people forget is always defend people right. Try and write. A joke are always defended. It's so hard right a joke and union incentives pure. I think that's the thing that Shane's body of work is not big enough that people can be like well look at all the Times he's tried to be funny but like when it someone else and you see this body of work in this Cadillac they have have you can kind of look back and say well. They've tried. They've been on the right. The point of view has always at least been an attempted funny yeah and that counts for something I think and I and I won't I just stand by any time. You're on a podcast. I think you're ten is to always be funny. Sometimes you miss interesting something. I've had people people on here I've had I. I wish I can share this totally. I'll tell you off camera off while just have you bleep out their name. amid covering my mouth. 'cause it's so funny. I can yeah. Maybe I'll take that back. After this don't know he's the best one of my close friends. You love him. Love Him. Love Him. We do have three hour podcasts drinking whisky fucking really just as right when the me two things happen and he's he just goes off and like fuck past fuck. That just really like really has a hot live. Take where you're just like. I no one's talking like this. At at this point right you just like give I think we're just supposed to listen right now and he's just fucking two guns blazing about buck and everything about women men and we get done the podcast remember this and he goes all right now. Let's add it. I go what and he goes. What we're GONNA edit that right that was like what do you mean he goes. I can't say all that Shit. It was like no we're GONNA air all of that and he was like Oh God. I'll be fucking destroyed. We're editing all of that and I was like yeah because some people I don't don't think are aware being accorded that there or that the the the intensity of with which was delivered. He's not with all three hours. I oh yeah I had yeah I. A- are you talking about. I had someone call me and say him and did this guy just to your podcast. I go yeah and he goes. What are you talking about told him and he goes Jimmy. Amir favors your friend. We not release that I went yeah and you just like 'cause you like he's. He's spiraling. I'm friend. He's in a bad place. All those things I've Dr had Sony fucking podcasts we say Shit. I always tell anyone I wish to everything like if you want e call me. If you want aiming taking take it out 'cause you you say shit like do you see it doesn't. Rogan's like you Rogan's your live that is going out to the fucking world and you and your fucking drunk funk and you're higher than you've ever been and you're talking with the Legit Alpha. Who's like WHO's got. WHO's one of the smarter dudes I know who's gotTa take on. Everything and it's an it's like I remember Joe. Joe's the first person I ever heard say a thing. I'm going to stop saying the word Faggot really this is. This is like ten years ago. He's just he goes. I think it's lazy. I think lazy and that's why I'm saying about about those like the generalizing soon words that like you could even I say fuck too much. Even I say fuck way too much but like even on stage. I'm like man. I could probably pull this joke without saying that I say bitch nonstop. Do you put bitch. That's your N. Word. I so funny. That's what Hey Zeus said this weekend really. He's like you used bitch. The Way Chapelle uses the N. word now it really but but like yeah and so I would say if you ever want anything taken I remember I said stuff on Bobby Kelly's podcast back when no wasn't a podcasts. I remember calling bobby. I call him so much about this. Is that one more time and I put it in. That's the only thing I show for the whole bucket. Show of course I'll add it out. Jesus fucking Christ burt but yeah I it. It's it's crazy. I think Isis could win if they came in and they were like they they did a dirty bomb. I'm to our Internet infrastructure and they were like and then they just did a took over all televisions and they're like all right. This is isis above by the way I'm sure I'm sure we'll get cancelled culture for this accent. I'm about to do this is Isis British accent. Hello hello is a very good in Japan. We bring it back to three channels no Internet. Hey you're welcome. Hey check out. Mohammed though he's not a bad guy you know yeah. Hey No more women driving. Traffic is going to be fucking amazing. You know what that is. You know it's interesting I. I'm I'm in New York if we just made it illegal for women I can't. I can't even say I can't I'm a New Yorker. I can barely drive dude. I just had a girl drive me over here and she was way better than I am so I can't and even you can't drive. I'm Ho- been car people and they're like pullover. Oh my God Joe Listen. I did a road trip casino running like two thousand eleven and he he I get in the car with him. I was like just so you know we do a row. There's like thirty hours of driving throughout the week because Senator Casino and I said you see. I'm not a great drivers like how bad it was like. Turns turns a problem for me and he's like what are you talk. So I'm on the highway like wow you really fucking bad so he drove. I'd say twenty seven hours and fifty fifty minutes. I drove me now. I probably drove forty minutes total the whole trip. He was so mad at me and yeah. I'm so bad dude. I don't know it's it's a problem spam risk. I'm getting a lot of spam risk of changing my number. I save my ex-girlfriend spam. Am Risk in my phone. Just won't pick out. Do you know what I used to do. I used to put all my friends as famous people so they'd be like it would come up and be Tom. Cruise is calling they. Do you know Tom Cruise. I go yeah I go hang on my money Lorenzo and do that. I do that to everyone. the one I was thinking of is I used to put hot women and as on my thing and it'll be a guy and so it would be a I think it was. I don't know if it was Oh Woah. Cameron Diaz was came and I'd go hang on Cameron Diaz calling you. Don't trust me when she's not using her stage voice. She has not as hot. They go hello. He's like hey dude. I love the silliness of comedy. I wish people would just go. I wish you could wait. I think people do get outraged shouldn't be allowed to get comedy anymore at all. They shouldn't get any com- they don't get it. You get banned blackballed from comedy. We're like we're like we go in. We take anything you find you. Don't get humor in life anymore. I think it's funny with Shane. Thing is I would so much like so. Many people that are angry angry don't even watch SNL on furious. I'm like well. You're not gonNA wash anyway. You're just like you want to be angry. Your anger what it represents more than anything but I I wonder what like I you know like we know some of the people I'm curious what they think. I'm sure most of them are like whatever but that pissed. I bet some more pissed. I Bet I I don't know anything about SNL. What type of Guy Works on that show meaning like I don't know like are the writers like in their twenties and they are they still like fifty year. Old dudes have been there for a year. I don't know anything about the I still haven't watched that clip because that just like those those clips always just upset me what the Shane. It's one of the things it's hard to. It's hard to defend because it's not it's not a joke and it's just conversation and it's yeah it's it's not and I and I really do think there is a there was a way for him to I. I I do think I don't think he was GonNa do it. I think he's too close to with the the legion askance guys to like where it's like. You never been the knee. You know that that like like Louis J Gomez. I love that Louis is getting like deuce loves this ship. He loves it too much. I remember years ago Louis Loyal Royal. I remember years ago. We were working this horrible club code. CB's in the way it was like before any of the show at the cellar so it's like Kinda. My crew accomplish would be like you know it was it'd be Lewis and Mark Norman. Dan soder work there and stuff and God this Guy Wayne rated. You know him right away. He ran. There's so many great wayne stories because Wayne was just steal money from us. It was insane. He would just be like oh tonight's a ten dollar spot mathematically. There's no way stealing money ars and he'd be like he was abusive. I remember Mark Norman. I'll be whispering in the back of the room any turn around and go shut up. Shut up and we'd be like I'm so sorry. Oy shots everyone's shots. He was just abusive guy but he also was so charming. You kinda like we're like and then any yeah he'd be like guarding the door. Lewis would be like fucking someone in the bathroom and he just like standing outside gay guy just standing and I'll be like can I use the bathroom. He was like Louis having sex in there you can you can go in shortly going like this is the he was so proud to like be like go in the door and then anyway. Wayne so many great stories he wept this great comic Adrian. I COLUCCI who I love Eh her back in the day at new faces and anyway after her set he he was a manager. We were just stand up and he just started a slow clap and everyone's like like no. We're not doing that. No one's doing that for anyone like she's great but come on so. I know what Adrian I know Adrian. We're speaking a great jokes. One of my favorite jokes ever yeah yeah. She said my boyfriend threaten to kill himself and I was like great now. I can't kill myself or people are GonNa think we were in love. That's fucking brilliant. Ask Fuck. She's a great. She's a dark grey joke writer. Every comic at the cellar like loves her. I just tape something through net flicks the degenerates you love her. She'd be on your favorites. I think but yeah Wayne I so anyway. The story gets I was getting them dancing around but Louis mark ignored on stage. I'm in the back. Marks getting heckled nonstop and no one does anything. It's just one of the things remarks just having to deal with this guy. He's fucking hats and Marx said all the witty lines. You can say you know you get a few lines but then it's like announced guys just ruining my set at Lewis. I just see him getting like work. W ooh ooh and he grabs. The guy goes outside. Now you fucking pussy in front of the guy's girlfriend guys like all right so he goes outside and I follow Lewis. I WanNa see what's going to happen so Lewis I was in front of the Eyes Rove and goes bushy and the guys like he backs down completely and I just watched this guy shrivel up in front of his girlfriend and Louis. I've never seen a guy I just emasculated like that in my life and and then the guy just shriveled away and walked away and I was like that was kind of incredible. Has Your back that hard. Oh Lewis's Lewis's Lewis's a WHO's a special type of person yeah he do the you know. The Big New York Times was at a taping of legionnaires. Thanks last night. They sent a New York towards it. I have no idea isn't cinnamon and they sent a New York Times correspondent to cover lead. Did you realize that is that is bigger than Netflix special for those guys that them being they are labeled the most offensive podcast in the world and to have the New York Times qualify a moniker. They established nine years ago and go. This is officially officially offensive. They're like we have made it that is it's so bizarre. They don't even realize the New York Times she just if they want who upset them. Ignore them. It's so fucking. Comical did apparently all the the whole episode. They just couldn't get streaming up so that they were just fighting over just so fuck in the New York Times. It really is is I think Nick Molin posted mixed twitter is like the best and he just posted something along the lines of when they posted about Shane Gillis he wrote you sold a war in Iraq. Iraq like what am I gonNA amazing response to them being like you said racist stuff. You sold a war war. some rob ciders thought thing was saying that he felt bad for. Shane thinks that I don't I'm not gonNA paraphrase appraise excite. I'M GONNA fuck it up but making slurs making and someone posted a picture of rob incomplete yellow like dresses at as in prison dresses the Nextgen dresses a woman like in every but some woman was like were you the uh-huh by the way it's a woman with a man's picture in her profile. She's like weren't you. The person who paid saying you weren't working with Mel Gibson and Robbie Santer goes I did that as a joke. You should should w some reserve breezy tweets and this woman got fucking annihilated online. She was like Oh my God I was I was in the Act mentions on twitter for Rob Steiner's post and it's been a long fucking. I think Mel Gibson is absolutely an anti. Semite and I'm like I still love lethal weapon. I'm not GonNa do that but I mean I remember when it happened. Oh you're just the drunk I who goes to like thought the you know that type of drunk understand. I don't understand how people this is a very naive thing to say. I remember seeing how people don't like Jews. I kind of like I don't understand like what I don't know what you're catching that you're you're not liking like yeah usually say at the end of a relationship. I don't know I used to make this about juice. I don't know I yeah I think No. I heard what a story about Mel Gibson from a film. Guy said he went out drinking with them. Once on the set of a movie and I said was the anti-semite said he was great for the whole set of the movie and then we went out drinking one night and he just turned to me and he goes who do you think benefited from nine eleven more than the Jews and data's fucking high level that is that your mind is thinking in that way. I can't even I by the way I can't even type of drunk. You know that type of drunk. I'm talking about doing it. They turn into that provocative with like. I'm not racist. I'm just I can't ask ask a question. You'd like what's kind of a fucked up question by the way I'm such a simple minded person. I don't know how you would benefit from nine. Eleven mean building contracts attracts to rebuild it like I don't know up crews. I don't like I don't understand I think because of because of the war in the Middle East after that I think because yeah I would. I would assume that wealthy Texas of of military defense companies military companies would I don't like see I don't. I just don't understand like I can by the way I'm about to defend racism. I can't understand when you say when you say stuff like like like a certain certain religions were they were they look down on women and I can understand people going. I don't think that that's fucked up and then you're saying it about a group of people but you're saying another stand when things are culturally but I don't when you look at someone you're Koshi backward yeah when they when they talk about. Should we law and by the way I don't even know what I'm talking about but Sharia law were women get beaten and I watched a video of this guy the same this is how you hit a woman an and culturally I go now. I can see how you know I I. That's fucked up yeah of course and you can say that about a group of people that believe it's okay hit your wife in the there's levels eating your wife. I understand that and I'm speaking about the Middle East in general right now and I know Israel like I heard a Jewish person. The other day say enemy is horrible just fucking lit up on the Israelis and I was like aren't you exactly the same no yeah and they're like we are. We have nothing to do with Israelis there. Nothing and I was like well people hate the prime minister. You know I I was talking to a guy who's who served in the military with him and he was just going off. Guy fucking sold out so hard like you know I. I think a lot of anger towards him right now. I think he's like today. Looks like the trump of the of Israel what we I just don't know enough about it to really take a deep diving but that's what I've gathered felt like A. This sounds like I'm defending myself. It sounds like I'm over defending Madam so racist. I'm trying to pit myself thing like I I couldn't. I don't think anyone who call you racist. I I don't think even talked to Thompson. No no cigar does it. There's a joke and it and our fans do it as a joke. It's not funny Mac nights man I do that too mackey and he gets fucking furious students. He posted a tweet. The I do a fake text app about Mac and some some of the Maria and some aren't and I understand. That's probably have to do this by the way I do that with. Ari Really Yeah. I do it and post them. Online of things texted me on nine eleven. I posted the mackey wrote to me. it was something like Oh my nine eleven was an inside job and I vote back show that's so fucked up and then I just had them respond beer B. I'm horny right like nonsense and he gets he gets pissed because people respond if this is really how joe feels unfiled like I think it's hilarious but it's GonNa fuck. Tom Does it to me and and our fans do it as a joke and I I think it's funny who does it like. They're always like the softest youngest white chick like they think it's like they. They maybe never experienced experienced racism so they're just like biggest fattest raises comic in the world and so but what happened is my net flicks. I guarantee you. This was a hemorrhaged fans. My my nephew's special aired and they would write it in the comments. You're such a racist and then new fans would come in and go. He's not racist. I just watched a special funny and it's it's it is it's funny. It is funny as comics but when you think about how many people probably like checked me out and then saw it I was in the comments that fans were calling me racist as a joke but didn't get the joke that just like you know what fuck that guy. I know is it it. I really I really and genuinely don't like it yeah and I th- and because you don't like something that makes it stick around longer like people go. Oh he really doesn't like it. I'm leaning harder and like my I mean my my publicist assist my agent my manager. They said that we have a real problem. I don't know what you're doing online but a lot of people calling you racist and we need to get it. Stop Tigers doing it as a joke and then like we need to ask them to stop topic. It doesn't work like that guys like you. Can't you just gotTa let it go. Everything you know about friendship it just the opposite comedy yeah I mean we had a we had a conversation where I was explaining and we're talking about reparations and Tom just had our fans cut it up to make it sound like I just hated blind people and and it makes people laugh and you're like my job as a comedian. That's it. It's it's up comedian. I can't go sit. There and I'm not running for politics. I'm not running for office. I'm just putting out content. People have a great day and I hope that those people we'll get the joke and company do comedy. That's it I'm not. I don't need to sell out stadiums. I just need to sell some tickets and pay my mortgage. That's it and so you just it's like. It's like a war of attrition. You like maybe losing a lot of new fans who don't get the joke but I have a core fans that get the joke and go. Oh no no. He actually has not raised at all. It's a joke joke but it's it is I was doing its Ari. When Ari got banned off twitter. I was I had islas phone and I had isla changed her number two our ISA fear but written in Israel in in Hebrew. I had Ariz name written in Hebrew and or no I forget I didn't have a name I had the word repentant it written or something like that in Hebrew and I he kept posting apologies for being offensive offensive I. I'm so sorry I've across the line. This is too much. Everyone knew that wasn't him. not everyone really not. Everyone's like Ari ever pollen follow Ari. I you've changed and I was like wool so I had to stop so I was like wow I don't WANNA lose fans. 'cause I'm think it's funny but I mean I would do it to me in fucking heartbeat that but if you ask them to stop it yeah maybe I think I think he's he's not he's not he's. He's he's after the Joe but he's not a day. I told Tom to stop at the fucking racist. Shouldn't Tom's Okay I sure wink and he was just an but see. Tom Doesn't care about anything really him and Bill Burr do not care about anything they just. They're like purists in the sense. They're like your comics. This is what we do for a living like that's a healthy way to look at it and you and you have to be like just to calm but they're also they also both doing grace that also helps when you when when your career Hariri struggling it's harder 'cause you're just unsure of notches your career but kind of who you are as a comic so I I think they've been validated by the fan base and by you you know the bills gotten legit backlash jokes and I remember calling mccollum. I think I saw him at the store which ones in particular one we caitlyn Jenner. I was on Conan with him. They he did that. Oh for real. I followed him CONAN and I thought it was an incredible bit. I thought it was. I thought it was such a kind of sensitive. Take on it. Did you see the give me a minute. I thought that was such an honest. You can't buy backlash for saying whatever happened about evidence ladies and everyone's sounds like you can't say that but I think also that was set up like if you actually listen to the bay saying I believe almost all of you. It's just there are some people that you don't believe I mean that was actually if anything another really really kind of fairies hey he's just and I remember saying to him like going like hey man how you doing and he goes about what like real defiant and I go. I don't know I I heard you were. We're getting some people got upset about any who I said. I don't know 'cause no tell me who are was it your neighbor no and he goes was was it you. I said No. I thought it was funny. He goes he tony. It's funny. I thought it was funny to was like yeah. He goes who are they. They're not real to are they. They're not real if you don't pay attention to them. They go away and I went wow and he's lived his career that way Tom the same way. Tom Said what he said about all the things. That happened is on the way. I'm such how was that with him and he did that. Dude ooh that was here. I've been I've been on the controversial Conan. Tom Defended the New Orleans thing as well yeah and he just sold out four theaters in New Orleans the next week and he's like conversely doubled down anyway I if I think you're right that if you're not that in the wrong and double down at shows a comforter ability ability and who you are I told him I said you go your special doubling doubt it's a good name for a tight special. I can't think of fucking one mine. I'm like what are you doing a that's pretty good actually creepy sound to someone they'll share this. Can I tell you this is Sherman. Get cancelled culture for this but instead a lot of senators and and I think you're fine. I think no but I'm curious. You're GonNa say I saw bits and pieces of the roast with Caitlin Jenner Yeah. I was a little bothered by really yeah because I don't think since you're older died I just I was like I was like sweet. You're sending you're sending out a lot of mixed messages about the way to like. You can't joke about transgender. The people like I'm. I'm just the rothe anything goes goes yeah but like I didn't like like the way that Caitlyn was like like AAC. She was almost like a drunk courtney. Love like I am by the way I didn't see the whole thing so I'm sure that I do whatever clip I saw was like oh and but it was just like fucking doc in bringing it bitches and you're just like I don't know it just rubbed me the wrong way. I was like I was like I don't know Jimmy true with respect at it. We're GONNA have to scrub like every row spat spat clip of they ever want to be on anything because we all went so hard and those things I thought that was the point the point and then you know this really funny comic. Scott Chaplain missed out on like a really lucrative opportunity because someone saw that what was it what was his joke. I don't remember his Joe. I mean there's a lot he was really good at it and then also he took such a this. This is a fucked up thing to me is he took such a beating about his dad being dead and about his sister being a stripper and then he takes us beating for that set set after set you know and then you know he fired back but they were just they would. I thought it was clear that you're making jokes. But what was that will happen. I don't remember the Joe. It was probably a number of jokes but I think he got his opportunity. In Montreal that would have been really lucrative and it was good. He worked in a slaughterhouse. I mean you know would have really helped them out and they pull it because they saw those clips of him so when we talk about people who people losing jobs. I think there's this woke side that is like that's not true but that's that would have changed his life and he works in a slaughterhouse you could. I mean it's like he's got to be the next great novelist now or something. I mean it's too you know. If I could go back and fucking read rework doc my history I would have never gotten job pardonable. I would have got the job in a slaughterhouse getting a job in a fucking like just really major story better. Make all all worked in a slaughterhouse. What a fucking yeah. I mean he's a really funny guy. It's just you know that the most spat clips are pretty crazy. I don't yeah I could never do roast bottle. It hurts my feelings to reasons. I think you just gotTa going with. I think I see now you just going with the intentions of just being like on the same page as the other person to be like. Let's make this a really good TV and make it really fun. I remember I did a thing for crashing with Matteo. They cut it out Matteo Lane and he was like I'm nervous and I was like I'll tell you all the jokes before if you WanNa but I'm not gonNA say anything. That's really gonNA hurt you. You know all right and we did all the Oh. These are like funding the yeah I mean. I'm trying to have fun with you yeah. He had a joke on me me and made me laugh so hard about something about like how summing Sam is willing to basketball and you can tell because his dad left He. He's not funny in his career is going to end in a thirty doc. I love when I get a good burn. I don't know it's a good one Saturday honest. I thought was really funny so she was like Sam's Sam Laughs at his own jokes. which you know makes sense 'cause it always looks like his eyebrows clapping really great? She's good at the rose man like really good. Ah just like jokes that are like thoughtful and funny. I don't know like you almost feel like like like when someone burns you the right women but I had a break up with a comic attell was watching my set and I come outside the seller and he said you're right and I said Yeah I'm all right and goes with youtube broken up. Who are you going to take to the south by southwest southwest square dance and you're like. Oh my God he like cares enough to think of a great burn on me. He probably didn't think that hard but like just it's almost like their way of being like Nice. You know it's like they care enough to jeff also says the ones you love. You know it's like yeah. I said Comedy Santos Gig but you know what I love. Let's get Blake Griffin. Let's get a cliff blake. Griffin killed yeah. I'm sure oh he's a funny dude. He killed that was the one that was a joke. I saw about daddy issues or whatever and I was just like just seemed very real. He's a he just seems like a cool dude. He seems like a really cool dude. He's he was funniest faulk. I met him a Montreal. He was so nice really. I'm a huge basketball fan eking out a little documentary I saw last night or thirty by thirty which one Rodman Dude. I'm dying to see it. It is so good are you. Don't realize what a real fucked. I didn't realize he went to college at like twenty four. Did he really I didn't know that he was like twenty three twenty four going into college. He didn't get into the pros. Here's a grown up going to the pros. I the Pistons I think he was molested. Yeah I think so I mean it just seems because he's got a real attack like almost like a like a real fantasy attachment childhood early say Lycee portrayed it like that like he was on the on the Pistons and like he he'd go to go to the bars and get a glass of milk and play video games and you're like you know hugging scary that is like you go to a bar with someone like Dennis Rodman any orders milk that just makes such as the legend of him even more bad because he was I saw on the bad boy Pistons thirty for thirty. They were like he played like he was running from some Mike Mike Faulk. That's heavy dude. He was you forget how much he changed the landscape of sports personality like and overnight he was across rt in the nineties dude. That's insane. He was he when he played for the Spurs. I remember distinctly distinctly going. That's my guy 'cause I was like blonde head like insane all the sudden you know where he got that idea from for dying his hair where Wesley snipes in demolition demolition man good movie he was like Rob Schneider Rob Cider. Yeah Fuck you forget how you don't heard Rob Center on Wgn. He is fucking forget. He's a comic. He's been so many movies essentially Sandler Guy. I think sometimes you attach this like like Sandler rat pack kind of thing with him you forget he is a fuck same spayed. I did people sleep on how funny spayed. I love spayed. I was always big spade fan and he's got such a lazy way of doing comedy where it's like you barely dries just funny fucking great. He Rodman was like it was almost like the theater the way he was. You know where it's like. He's he was kind of like he embraced. He's the he'll roll but like like the way gold does and like. WWF You know where you're like. This guys like kind of wants to be the bad guy but in a way that you wanna root for him yeah it was Kinda. Cool who'll loved Rodman and I by the way I didn't realize I didn't realize like I remember him getting a bunch of backlash. I didn't realize that he had warned a lot of it yeah and he did you hear the story about Rodman because you know he was. I guess married to common electro in the nineties which like good for you. That's fucking that's crazy but the rumor is that it was either her fuck Madonna Donna and everything but the rumors that was one of them walked in on him with two chicks and his line holding two chicks was they fell out of the ceiling like like they think of a fucking joke like a Sitcom y yeah that's a good line. Charlie Sheen was an like two and a half men or something. I'll tell you my favorite thing about Carmen Electra talent. Her real name is Tara Patrick so the porn star Tera Patrick gave her porn name is Carmen Electra real name. Wow How fucking beautifully beautifully poetic is that show makes me like Tera Patrick who is by the way hottest. I said to Dr Drew One time I said you know. I think if I had like a month to live. I want to live. I think my wife should let me go out and fuck all the porn stars. I WANNA fuck tablist Christy Mack. I don't know that is she's the one that got. got got assaulted by war-machine. remember the really bad but I've always found a really sexy. It's crazy as machine is he got us a now. let me think this is my list of Porn Stars. I would fuck definitely Christy Christy Mack definitely. I'd probably go older surprised everyone. I thought I knew the older ones but I don't know them here. Patrick who's the one married to Jesse James. She was fucking beautiful is so you bucket lists like your your list of women to bang or they're all porn stars yet. I wouldn't I mean. I don't think I'd have an interesting going pedestrian. If I'm like I don't WanNA figure someone's body out. I just would have their some rather have a pro and figuring out true in five minutes. That's not bad idea. I don't know if I like there. There's some really like like Bonnie rotten. Bunny rotten porn says money runs. I find body in writing sexy. There's one that I was obsessed with. Do you remember her name. There was one that I was so obsessed with. I was like not like not like but like I did sounds so silly silly a followed her. I think when snapchat was thing I followed her snapchat and I was obsessed with her life like it was like cool to follow her. She'd like stop doing porn with just hanging out and I was like aw that's like. I'm glad she's getting past it but she's getting older when you're like rooting for turn it around. Aj's May jewelry and she was like and I was and then if she wanted to sell some issues or posts and be like what are you guys this dude. I remember so this. I'd this porn bit. That got my special. I've got a lot of shares so a lot of porn. Stars were sharing. It was kind of pro porn. The joke is I'd say you know I find pointed to be less offensive than women's magazines because at lease porn is body positive. There's fat and old porn. There's no fat and old cosmo like every women's magazine is like headed shed that last ten pounds porn is like your perfect and we have a category for you right here it. You're not fat and beautiful woman. You're not old you mature. You're not covered in seem and you're getting a facial so that was a joke and it got so many shares that I was kind of like this is kind of hilarious Larry. I guess I didn't think of it as a bit. I was just trying to crack a joke and then this porn star Adrian at Chechen. She's fucking awesome yeah. He's awesome so she shared it is. I didn't know she was until weirdly lease a trigger. It was like talking about like two nights before this happened. Li like my favorite porn. Star is Adriana Checchi this. It's going to blow up because someone just emailed me and said hey man. I was talking about this. Lisa an porn star neff and I was like pro which I don't know if she he likes he's like the Lenny Bruce Shy. I don't think she realizes it but like she got more press than people that had books coming out trying to sell tickets at a fuck in Strip club in Levittown L. Y. And and she was so on the on the scene that I was like for my next special. I was thinking about hiring a porn star to go press for me in Tyron. Hire poor stores says she says she's in a lot of stuff. I was like what if I got like ten porn stars right. Yeah say hey guys you're my marketing team like you go to radio for me in Tampa for Lauderdale L. D. C. Philly and get get them all. They'll have talking points. They'll have bits of mind from the special that they can do and just send them all to go to press for me right on the same day. So you really spike your numbers. That's pretty funny. I might do it. I might do it. I- legit might do it. It's going to cost an arm fucking leg but I'm I was thinking about it. It would just be funny to go. NCAA Berkshire couldn't make it so we sent in Adrian Hadrian a bad idea and you say to my radio friends just hey just keep mentioning that specials on Netflix and whatever yeah and so and they can do whatever the fuck they want. I'M GONNA fly the Porn Stars out. I'll put them up a pay them and then they go and do press for me and they gotta do press like legit press our couch. They're going to do the run. They're going to do morning TV like and so that's interesting and it's it's not a bad idea of like it's GonNa get you press. WHO's on the yeah and then just be like guy and then I'll be at home instagram ing it. I wasn't able to get out for press. Today has been really busy but I've got my team my street team out there and so you cut a video together them all promoting. That's pretty funny. It'd be funny. I'm you know what freak me out a little bit because I followed a drain of tragic on twitter because she posted the bit and let me follow and then you I don't she's. I think the only porn star follow so I was I'd be like like in the store you forget that they just post them sucking. Dick so it'd be like line at lane read or whatever and I just be like Scotland through whatever jokes and then I just feel like oh taken to Cox. It'd be like which is like too early in the day like you. Don't WanNa look like public. You know she. This guy hit me up. He's like hey man i. I don't remember what his exact words were. it'd be hit me on me said Hey. I work for Evil Angel I think it's great but I think she really check out Adrienne in touch. She's fun. She's funny. She's if you're looking looking for someone to do prosecute. She's the girl so he's like he's like hey here's a log in and password for evil angel. Check her out in my head. I thought I was going to see like some funny. INSTAGRAM CL- man she fox like a champ really. I joke about her last week. I was like Scott Beautiful fucking. I saw her swapping com. Home with another check is like back and forth and I was like. I don't think I've ever seen this like but she is fucking hot. I might put up my also. All what's the matter. Oh twitter. I told you it's all right. She's beautiful though she's very I like Oh. Maybe I gotTA. I gotTA get my my all-star list of poor stars and radio stations. Send them to wow that was murray dear. Yeah I mean it's just give them the machine story and they got a version of their own version of the machine and they just say that it happened to Dan when I was twenty jacket and Bob the Russian Mafia. Here's how it happened. That's all you gotta say and then Fuck. That bitch is Russia. Damn Yeah I don't know but it's may not be technically on on brand but I know it'd be. I know my buddies would like it. Maybe I'll just reach out to all my radio stations go. Hey if I could send representatives to represent me for my special. Who would it be and they just pick one and I just paid person too. That'd be pretty cool yeah. I don't know I get caught up in marketing ideas too much I think I don't know that was a creative one at least yeah but I but it's like it's like I should be writing like this. Last month had off the whole month practically and I didn't realize how how much I had turned off my comedy brain. 'cause I was just doing podcast and thinking of videos to shoot and then when I got back on the road like I literally this weekend was like Oh it was very nice to shut off comedy for a month and then turn it back on and go. Oh you know when you get in wrote and you like I feel like I'm just repeating the same fucking twenty Joe too sometimes when you turn your brain off though it's almost like putting your brain on airplane mode and it's like you know you get all these text messages are just pop up one. Obama bitches poor. Someone's GonNa Funk for Awhile and I'm just like why can't I think any jokes and then just one day. It's just easy now and you're like. That's the fucking best spin glass today. I'm telling you I had this. I had this great joke about Priscilla that it was I did. I told him to pool one time about Priscilla. My dog is the big one and it got a big laugh the pool stage it didn't work. It didn't work because the joke was it was priscilla saying it it didn't make sense totally because it was at had it happened to her and then we got this puppy and I went in class today and I'm going. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh Oh my God. Oh my fucking like all of a sudden it was like when you untangle chain go. Everything's coming out. Everything's coming out and I was like I who so excited and I'm like a broken leg tonight. Show or actually he hit me up and I was like Oh this works out perfectly. fucking bit would love to fucking run tonight. The problem with the problem with my bits now is that it only sometimes we'll. I'll do is I'll planted a seed really early in the act and then harvested later as a callback but it's really confusing but like so you plant a seed of a key like explicitly say my daughter. Is this business this or my cat. Is this this and this then later in the act. You can get out of cat. Come in everyone's like Oh. I know that cat. I met him earlier in the act but so it doesn't work when you're at the store when you're only got fifteen minutes very comics you are. I'm very kind of fascinated by how you guys do. I mean so much of it must be the road though you just figure 'cause you I. I don't know if I've ever seen you with a bit. That didn't feel like done to make. I don't think I've seen you. I've only seen to do long sets. I think those are all there none of them. I feel like none Gordon and I feel like some of them are overdone like I feel like jokes are like I have some bits are a little longer now some stories. I'm usually just joked so it's usually like Oh. That didn't work work. You know that's that I my big thing for me. I had to slip tiffany watching for one night and I was like man. It's like he'd never stops growing like and I am. I the the luck the blessing in life to be able to reach out to him and say hey man. I'm curious about how it's like the coolest thing in the fucking world 'cause you know wide receivers don't do that you know opposing they were talking about robbins rebounding skills and how he never worked on it was something natural and then they broke down the way he saw rebounding and you're like wow he would never shut. Why would he ever share that with anybody. Nobody both comex. We all share these things were blessed enough to be able to reach out and go. I said a boroughs like Yo. What was the why'd you do this and that special and he was like you know always want to change it up. I always want to figure out if I don't have that in that act and I see someone else doing. I'll go. I'M GONNA try to figure out how would I do something like that like he was talking about act outs and he was like I don't. I don't know I wasn't an actor helicopter bit. No he's talking about read. He adopted two kids the one from the diamond mind and one from I forget the other one and he's like and he just goes and he's in the middle of a bit and he just leans down. He goes listen. He got clean your buddy steal. I got you from the factory and that's part of the deal. Is We Gotcha. He has no no. I know they're the ones the fuck Outta me too. I don't he don't know rules for that. One anybody's doing the conversation one sided and it was so funny because it forced me to put the words into the kids and I was like Whoa and he goes. I don't know I just didn't have any doubts and I thought you don't want to just be up there. Ranting and I want to grow. I want to challenge myself with every special I wanted to some different ones in black white ones and I wanna WanNa feel like a rockstar walks by and you're just like sitting there going holy. Shit and then at that moment I went right. I can't do that shit anymore. I gotta try to grow and try to do something new every time and so now now. I'm like my last one. I want to say everything was about tags like I love a love a good tag. Yeah I love a good tag in what I want to add to my special right now. I'm dying out of my special which I do not have but I'm looking for incessantly is what Ralph used to do. Ralphie was was so fucking good at hammering a joke from every angle until it was perfectly round like he got a fat piece of steel and and he just be like Peng Peng. Did you ever hear his medium Dick Joke. How bitches say they won't Beg Dick. You don't want big deck ladies. It was it was it was a pacing was a black comic pacing thing. You don't want big deck ladies big dig. Have your pussy looking like Horses Lips. Reach a sugar cube you one big. Dick late like any do his right nine jokes for one premise or in any just and I want one of those I want I want. I want something where I just hammered. Joke I would love to African is Kinda so good at that to me. You know Africans amazing it where he like. He does that new a bit in his new special about the horses and it's eight. Oh yes we're like yeah. He's so good at just hammered from every fucking angle yeah. I tried to do it this week about sex with my wife sexual. My wife is like a restaurant that only serves two meals sex with my wife and I was like it sounds like I'm doing a Ralphie bit. I was like okay and but that's part of the one of the things that these these people those married fifteen years wow that's that's the real fucking human life you're living oil human life now cool but but yeah so so that part of the thing I got to do now is go obviously. I don't want to sound like Ralphie but I need to find my way to hammer a joke like it and that's part of the growth part of it is going like you know one of the things I did. This that I'm doing now is like I liked what norm does like man walks into a bar and I was like I want to do one of those like challenge yourself to try to write standards. When this started he goes he goes. What are you doing. He goes. I'm right knock knock jokes yeah. We talked about this last night. Yeah it is I just love classic jokes men a love classic jokes about Burbach growing. You WanNa just always grow oh so for me. I kind of like the idea of explain stories and stuff because that's not what I do. I Like I love. I want to do both but I just WanNa you. WanNa have every skill. We're talking about having every skill you now yeah. I think so I think it's cool when a comic like Jim Jefferies greatest social commentary and stuff but he's also a great storyteller and they'll just do like a bit I kind of I kind of liked that. I like a bit of a bit lot of bit. Loving people. Don't expect that you're you can do a bit like I love that when I read a bit go. Is that a joke that you just putting your acting. Eli Yeah are your early. Seven hundred percent yeah percent was big. It was but it was but I think the growth that I've had is very derivative whereas now inspired hired by someone and I go. I need something similar to that or I need something that that kind of like is different than what I'm doing back then. It was just like Oh. This is Dave attell would write a joke you a house aide when you touch their faces. Hey you know what I like to do anything to put in the back of a cop car pretended taxi take a left here. Take your on the wrong way. I'm not paying for this. Hey did you get to keep this thing or do you. Do you have it for you. He was defiant. He's so it's fucking funny yeah by the way those are my jokes but just they took out David. I know I love talking to old man. Oh you know we used to do back in cal- bag. I Ah I had a job that was a joke in my act right now. That is so attell that Soa tell and I and I swear to God if I'm not paying attention. I will say like Adele. I love it. that kind of love that he that store tonight now is there on Sunday Sunday night and no one might tonight. I'm doing a spot comedy and magic club tonight. Just have never been there. I WANNA try. Just I'd never been there so I just wanted to give it a shot and then tomorrow I'm running an hour dynasty typewriter or I think I heard about that. It should be on what time eight Oh maybe I'll stop by. That'd be amazing yeah. Maybe I'LL START DOC. Maybe I'll see what I know. We have to catch a flight tomorrow night but maybe we'll hop down there and have a few drinks the hell to the airport. Maybe I drink with you. Oh I got I got a red eye that that night at LAX. Oh Real NEW YORK PHNOM GOING TO TORONTO FOR J. F. L. O. is Oh nice yeah. Those are fun as Faulk. I think it will be fun. I kinda I wish I was. I really wish it was going to basketball season. I want to go raptors game. Yeah we how the Nets Knicks Knicks look bad. I'm here's the I'm a die hard. The Knicks Fan but like there'll be a young. It'll be alright yeah. I'm pumped. I'm just so pumped for basketball season dude. I I love a Solo basketball game this year. Dude be so fun. Games Fund Baseball Games are fun. Yeah Rams Games are pretty fun. I'M NOT GONNA I've season tickets this year. I'M NOT GONNA be able to go to one game. Really I'm torn the entire fucking time. That's that's hilarious socks. I can't go to one fucking game. He football's not really comics because of our schedule it doesn't it doesn't work but basketball baseball totally worked for combat. We went to a comic spe. We went to the Yankees game. It was a small Lizard like the seller peat layers. It was a fun crew cab. Phil mackey it was it was a fun crew of a comics and we're in the bleachers and we're just fuck in. Maybe I'm gonNA comment. Maybe I'll come to New York and live in New York in December. That'd be do December's problem favorite month in New York. You know you gotTa December spots in the New York in December. The seller New York in December is like it's magical it might come after a new hour before my next tour you should you should know what you should do. You should work out in like the fat black or something yeah 'cause. That's the word that's where like Quinn works out and stuff. I might do that that might go out to New York for a chunk. I think New York's a little really. LA's really hard place to work out material. I feel that here because you know what I'll do spots and I get excited. The guy even this show hot tub last night. I'm like the coolest hottest crowd but it's like ten minutes and you feel like Oh damn. I wish I one time yeah and the store is such a showcase. Oh case room now in any of your Rogin or Burr. You can definitely work out but a year like that to. You could still work now. We're got a workout but I- sneak it in like I don't think people know that I'm working things out to sprinkle it in in with like stuff that works and then the new stuff like but but in New York I would love to just go and spend like a week in December out there. December new New Yorkers amazing just to fucking like six spots tonight to downtown the best. I love my life in New York. Do you guys I'm really jealousy guys like because you. You guys all seem that you're just starting this journey. F- feels that way. It feels like I've been doing it a while b right. We're fucking still kind of new. I mean I look at everyone out. New York and I get like excited for all the shit that you guys haven't done yet yeah yes. It just makes you WANNA work. It makes you wanna you know. I don't know it makes you step by step on the gas a little bit because sometimes you get you forget to be present you so much of this gigs. I was in Sacramento all weekend. During this depressing hotel shows are great but like you in this weird hotel and just like this is going slowly. We know you remember those days where you're just like what the fuck doing texted I emailed Doug Stanhope one night and Sacramento at laughs unlimited and I said so is this it. I just thought there would be more to it like I'm not I'm. I'm not shitting on it but like is this all I can expect from it and he wrote back. Oh baby girl. It's called the quickening enjoy it. This is all there is to it. If you don't enjoy this you won't enjoy the other part of it. That's true and I went. I was like I was like oh it yeah. I was the first one was there Thursday the some sun the fire alarm went off so we get to finish my set. It was like I was like come on. May also hungry to get the crowd was so good. Let me just get on so it's such a bomber but that's a great club fucking best. I used to do last unlimited do that. Suck Dick at the urban room so round it's urban room now but but it was urban room then too by the way but it was but I don't think they'd really figured out urban at that time in comedy that we just just predominantly that words going to get us in trouble in like eight years. That's just the word I thought on the wrong side of history yeah. I don't know I'm going to release this one this week. Oh I'm going to release it Friday. We got one coming out on Wednesday but I was like you know. There's no reason on sitting on I've so many podcasts loaded that of people that need to come out time sensitive to that was like if I do with just want to release. I said I don't WanNa fuck in I wanna I wanNA put more content. What will you have coming up toward. It's Yemen Toronto this weekend. Acme in Minneapolis October third through through fifth all my all my day I believe is a nineteen th through the twenty third. Oh great so if you're hearing that in your in Toronto you know what you're doing tonight. Although the website is so confusing I know what's going on because I I've been hit up by so many people like it sold out. I'm like I don't know I don't know what's going on so good feeling when people go you shows were all sold out and then you're like and then you go check the website like no. You just don't know you fucking asshole. I dates and my say and I I've been doing this basketball podcast with hockey from town. WHO's like the most funny guy favorite podcasts names ever comment saying this spot that's called pod. Don't lie we just talk hoops and but we go into like such graphic detail of like greatest like infidelity ability. All stars like the greatest cheaters of all time we do like we did it episode. Recently with Alex English is really funny gay comic and he he breaks down which is which coaches he'd WanNa fuck by Division and why and it's like it made me. He made me laugh so hard. It's just fun just fun to do. Everything's been fine lately. You know just gotTa try. Hopefully I tape our. We're in a by the end of the year so we'll do. You know I love you. I think you're one of my table. I could do a podcast with you every single day anytime. You're out here just fucking yeah. I'm going to annoy. I'm going to take it over and I think I personally think that you know the way Joe put us all over by like he just liked us and it was easy to talk to to him and I mean I'm a I'm. Maybe done like thirty podcasts with him. You know because back in the day. I feel like that needs to happen more with guys like me and Tom where where I go. I should put out to a week and just do you have your temple ones of people like Gav again and nick you up stuff to promote these out time sensitive but you can also just have your friends on go and we're just GONNA hang in bullshit for fuck in you know yes is fun for a couple hours and he's been two hours. Damn fuck out. We'll do everyone go see him in Toronto Bronco and on it goes a lot of shit on instagram or just fucking awesome. Thank your instagram's awesome. You're one of the best joke writers in the business. What are the best comics in the business and and hopefully we'll make it out to T- dynasty type every Wednesday McCaffrey. I drink off man This episode is brought to you by the machine.

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